This is a modern-English version of The Green Mouse, originally written by Chambers, Robert W. (Robert William).
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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THE GREEN MOUSE
By
ROBERT W. CHAMBERS
ILLUSTRATED IN COLOR BY
EDMUND FREDERICK
1910
TO
MY FRIEND
JOHN CORBIN
Folly and Wisdom, Heavenly twins,
Sons of the god Imagination,
Heirs of the Virtues--which were Sins
Till Transcendental Contemplation
Transmogrified their outer skins--
Friend, do you follow me? For I
Have lost myself, I don't know why.
Folly and Wisdom, heavenly twins,
Sons of the god of Imagination,
Heirs of the Virtues—which were Sins
Until Transcendental Contemplation
Changed their outer appearances—
Friend, are you following me? Because I
Have lost myself, and I don’t know why.
Resuming, then, this erudite
And decorative Dedication,--
Accept it, John, with all your might
In Cinquecentic resignation.
You may not understand it, quite,
But if you've followed me all through,
You've done far more than I could do.
Resuming, then, this knowledgeable
And stylish Dedication,--
Accept it, John, with all your strength
In Cinquecento acceptance.
You might not fully grasp it,
But if you’ve stayed with me the whole way,
You’ve accomplished much more than I could.
PREFACE
To the literary, literal, and scientific mind purposeless fiction is abhorrent. Fortunately we all are literally and scientifically inclined; the doom of purposeless fiction is sounded; and it is a great comfort to believe that, in the near future, only literary and scientific works suitable for man, woman, child, and suffragette, are to adorn the lingerie-laden counters in our great department shops.
To people who value literature, facts, and science, pointless fiction is
It is, then, with animation and confidence that the author politely offers to a regenerated nation this modern, moral, literary, and highly scientific work, thinly but ineffectually disguised as fiction, in deference to the prejudices of a few old-fashioned story-readers who still survive among us.
It is, then, with excitement and assurance that the author graciously presents to a renewed nation this modern, moral, literary, and highly scientific work, subtly but inadequately disguised as fiction, out of respect for the biases of a few old-fashioned readers who still exist among us.
R. W. C.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER
I. An Idyl of the Idle
II. The Idler
III. The Green Mouse
IV. An Ideal Idol
V. Sacharissa
VI. In Wrong
VII. The Invisible Wire
VIII. "In Heaven and Earth"
IX. A Cross-town Car
X. The Lid Off
XI. Betty
XII. Sybilla
XIII. The Crown Prince
XIV. Gentlemen of the Press
XV. Drusilla
XVI. Flavilla
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
I
AN IDYL OF THE IDYL
In Which a Young Man Arrives at His Last Ditch and a Young Girl Jumps Over It
In Which a Young Man Reaches His Breaking Point and a Young Girl Leaps Over It
Utterly unequipped for anything except to ornament his environment, the crash in Steel stunned him. Dazed but polite, he remained a passive observer of the sale which followed and which apparently realized sufficient to satisfy every creditor, but not enough for an income to continue a harmlessly idle career which he had supposed was to continue indefinitely.
Utterly unprepared for anything besides decorating his surroundings, the crash in Steel shocked him. Dazed but courteous, he stayed a passive onlooker during the sale that followed, which seemingly brought in enough to satisfy every creditor, but not enough to support an untroubled, idle lifestyle he thought would last forever.
He had never earned a penny; he had not the vaguest idea of how people made money. To do something, however, was absolutely necessary.
He had never made any money; he had no clue how people earned a living. However, doing something was absolutely essential.
He wasted some time in finding out just how much aid he might expect from his late father's friends, but when he understood the attitude of society toward a knocked-out gentleman he wisely ceased to annoy society, and turned to the business world.
He spent some time figuring out how much support he could expect from his late father's friends, but once he understood society's attitude toward a down-and-out man, he sensibly stopped bothering them and focused on the business world.
Here he wasted some more time. Perhaps the time was not absolutely wasted, for during that period he learned that he could use nobody who could not use him; and as he appeared to be perfectly useless, except for ornament, and as a business house is not a kindergarten, and furthermore, as he had neither time nor money to attend any school where anybody could teach him anything, it occurred to him to take a day off for minute and thorough self-examination concerning his qualifications and even his right to occupy a few feet of space upon the earth's surface.
Here he spent some more time. Maybe it wasn't completely wasted, because during that time he realized he couldn't rely on anyone who couldn't benefit him; and since he seemed to be totally useless except for looks, and since a business isn't a daycare, and also because he had neither the time nor money to go to any place where someone could teach him anything, he thought about taking a day off for a detailed self-reflection on his skills and even his right to take up a little space on this planet.
Four years at Harvard, two more in postgraduate courses, two more in Europe to perfect himself in electrical engineering, and a year at home attempting to invent a wireless apparatus for intercepting and transmitting psychical waves had left him pitifully unfit for wage earning.
Four years at Harvard, two more in postgraduate courses, two more in Europe to improve his skills in electrical engineering, and a year at home trying to invent a wireless device for capturing and transmitting psychic waves had left him woefully unprepared for earning a living.
There remained his accomplishments; but the market was overstocked with assorted time-killers.
There were still his achievements; however, the market was flooded with various distractions.
His last asset was a trivial though unusual talent--a natural manual dexterity cultivated since childhood to amuse himself--something he never took seriously. This, and a curious control over animals, had, as the pleasant years flowed by, become an astonishing skill which was much more than sleight of hand; and he, always as good-humored as well-bred, had never refused to amuse the frivolous, of which he was also one, by picking silver dollars out of space and causing the proper card to fall fluttering from the ceiling.
His last asset was a simple but unique talent—a natural skill with his hands that he developed since he was a kid to entertain himself—something he never took seriously. This, along with a strange ability to control animals, had, as the years passed by, turned into an amazing skill that was much more than just tricks; and he, always cheerful and well-mannered, had never turned down the chance to entertain the lighthearted, of which he was also one, by pulling silver dollars out of thin air and making the right card fall gracefully from the ceiling.
Day by day, as the little money left him melted away, he continued his vigorous mental examination, until the alarming shrinkage in his funds left him staring fixedly at his last asset. Could he use it? Was it an asset, after all? How clever was he? Could he face an audience and perform the usual magician tricks without bungling? A slip by a careless, laughing, fashionable young amateur amusing his social equals at a house party is excusable; a bungle by a hired professional meant an end to hope in that direction.
Day by day, as the little money he had left disappeared, he kept pushing himself to think hard, until the worrying drop in his funds had him staring intensely at his last resource. Could he use it? Was it really a resource, after all? How skilled was he? Could he stand in front of an audience and perform the usual magic tricks without messing up? A mistake by a careless, laughing, trendy young amateur entertaining his social peers at a house party is understandable; a blunder by a hired professional meant a dead end for any hopes in that direction.
So he rented a suite of two rooms on Central Park West, furnished them with what remained from better days, bought the necessary paraphernalia of his profession, and immured himself for practice before entering upon his contemplated invasion of Newport, Lenox, and Bar Harbor. And one very lovely afternoon in May, when the Park from his windows looked like a green forest, and puff on puff of perfumed air fluttered the curtains at his opened windows, he picked up his gloves and stick, put on his hat, and went out to walk in the Park; and when he had walked sufficiently he sat down on a bench in a flowery, bushy nook on the edge of a bridle path.
So he rented a two-room suite on Central Park West, furnished it with what was left from better days, bought the essential tools for his profession, and locked himself away to practice before launching his planned trip to Newport, Lenox, and Bar Harbor. One beautiful afternoon in May, when the Park from his windows looked like a vibrant green forest and gentle breezes filled with floral scents fluttered the curtains at his open windows, he grabbed his gloves and walking stick, put on his hat, and went out for a walk in the Park. After walking for a while, he sat down on a bench in a flowery, bushy spot at the edge of a bridle path.
Few people disturbed the leafy privacy; a policeman sauntering southward noted him, perhaps for future identification. The spectacle of a well-built, well-groomed, and fashionable young man sitting moodily upon a park bench was certainly to be noted. It is not the fashion for fashionable people to sit on park benches unless they contemplate self, as well as social, destruction.
Few people interrupted the leafy privacy; a police officer walking south noticed him, possibly for future identification. The sight of a fit, well-groomed, and stylish young man sitting glumly on a park bench was certainly worth noticing. It's not typical for fashionable people to sit on park benches unless they are considering both self and social destruction.
So the policeman lingered for a while in the vicinity, but not hearing any revolver shot, presently sauntered on, buck-skinned fist clasped behind his broad back, squinting at a distant social gathering composed entirely of the most exclusive nursemaids.
So the policeman stuck around for a bit, but not hearing any gunshots, he eventually walked on, his leather-clad fist clasped behind his broad back, squinting at a distant social gathering made up entirely of the most exclusive babysitters.
The young man looked up into the pleasant blue above, then his preoccupied gaze wandered from woodland to thicket, where the scarlet glow of Japanese quince mocked the colors of the fluttering scarlet tanagers; where orange-tinted orioles flashed amid tangles of golden Forsythia; and past the shrubbery to an azure corner of water, shimmering under the wooded slope below.
The young man looked up at the nice blue sky, then his distracted gaze moved from the woods to the thicket, where the bright red of Japanese quince contrasted with the colors of the fluttering red tanagers; where orange orioles flashed among the tangled golden Forsythia; and beyond the shrubs to a blue patch of water, sparkling under the wooded slope below.
That sense of languor and unrest, of despondency threaded by hope which fair skies and sunshine and new leaves bring with the young year to the young, he felt. Yet there was no bitterness in his brooding, for he was a singularly generous young man, and there was no vindictiveness mixed with the memories of his failures among those whose cordial respect for his father had been balanced between that blameless gentleman's wealth and position.
That feeling of tiredness and unease, of sadness mixed with hope that clear skies, sunshine, and new leaves bring with the arrival of spring to the young, he experienced. Still, there was no bitterness in his thoughts, as he was an unusually generous young man, and there was no desire for revenge in the memories of his failures among those whose friendly respect for his father had been balanced by that honorable man’s wealth and status.
A gray squirrel came crawling and nosing through the fresh grass; he caught its eyes, and, though the little animal was plainly bound elsewhere on important business, the young man soon had it curled up on his knee, asleep.
A gray squirrel came crawling and sniffing through the fresh grass; it caught his eye, and, even though the little animal clearly had somewhere important to be, the young man soon had it curled up on his knee, asleep.
For a while he amused himself by using his curious power, alternately waking the squirrel and allowing it to bound off, tail twitching, and then calling it back, slowly but inexorably to climb his trousers and curl up on his knee and sleep an uncanny and deep sleep which might end only at the young man's pleasure.
For a while, he entertained himself with his unusual ability, now waking the squirrel, letting it hop away with its tail flicking, and then calling it back, slowly but surely, to climb his pants and curl up on his knee for a strange and deep sleep that could only be interrupted whenever the young man chose.
He, too, began to feel the subtle stillness of the drowsing woodland; musing there, caressing his short, crisp mustache, he watched the purple grackle walking about in iridescent solitude, the sun spots waning and glowing on the grass; he heard the soft, garrulous whimper of waterfowl along the water's edge, the stir of leaves above.
He, too, started to sense the quiet calm of the sleepy woods; while he pondered, stroking his short, crisp mustache, he observed the purple grackle moving around in vibrant solitude, the sunlight flickering on the grass; he heard the soft, chatty sounds of waterfowl by the water's edge and the rustling of leaves above.
He thought of various personal matters: his poverty, the low ebb of his balance at the bank, his present profession, his approaching début as an entertainer, the chances of his failure. He thought, too, of the astounding change in his life, the future, vacant of promise, devoid of meaning, a future so utterly new and blank that he could find in it nothing to speculate upon. He thought also, and perfectly impersonally, of a girl whom he had met now and then upon the stairs of the apartment house which he now inhabited.
He thought about different personal issues: his financial struggles, his low bank balance, his current job, his upcoming debut as an entertainer, and the possibility of failing. He also reflected on the astonishing transformation in his life, a future that seemed empty of hope and lacking purpose, so entirely unfamiliar and blank that he couldn't find anything to imagine about it. He also thought, quite objectively, about a girl he had occasionally seen on the stairs of the apartment building where he currently lived.
Evidently there had been an ebb in her prosperity; the tumble of a New Yorker's fortune leads from the Avenue to the Eighties, from thence through Morristown, Staten Island, to the West Side. Besides, she painted pictures; he knew the aroma of fixitive, siccative, and burnt sienna; and her studio adjoined his sky drawing-room.
Clearly, her success had declined; the fall of a New Yorker’s fortune goes from the Avenue to the Eighties, then through Morristown, Staten Island, and to the West Side. Also, she painted; he recognized the smell of fixative, siccative, and burnt sienna; and her studio was next to his sky drawing room.
He thought of this girl quite impersonally; she resembled a youthful beauty he had known--might still know if he chose; for a man who can pay for his evening clothes need never deny himself the society he was bred to.
He thought of this girl in a pretty detached way; she looked like a young beauty he had known—one he could still get to know if he wanted; because a man who can afford his evening attire never has to miss out on the company he was raised to enjoy.
She certainly did resemble that girl--she had the same bluish violet eyes, the same white and deeply fringed lids, the same free grace of carriage, a trifle too boyish at times--the same firmly rounded, yet slender, figure.
She really did look like that girl—she had the same bluish-violet eyes, the same white and thickly fringed eyelids, the same natural grace in her movement, a bit too boyish at times—the same well-defined yet slender figure.
"Now, as a matter of fact," he mused aloud, stroking the sleeping squirrel on his knee, "I could have fallen in love with either of those girls--before Copper blew up."
"Actually," he thought out loud, petting the sleeping squirrel on his knee, "I could have fallen for either of those girls—before Copper exploded."
Pursuing his innocuous meditation he nodded to himself: "I rather like the poor one better than any girl I ever saw. Doubtless she paints portraits over solar prints. That's all right; she's doing more than I have done yet.... I approve of those eyes of hers; they're like the eyes of that waking Aphrodite in the Luxembourg. If she would only just look at me once instead of looking through me when we pass one another in the hall----"
Pursuing his harmless thoughts, he nodded to himself: "I actually like the poor girl better than anyone I’ve ever seen. She probably paints portraits using solar prints. That’s fine; she’s doing more than I have so far… I really like her eyes; they’re like the eyes of that waking Aphrodite in the Luxembourg. If only she would just look at me once instead of looking right through me when we walk past each other in the hallway----"
The deadened gallop of a horse on the bridle path caught his ear. The horse was coming fast--almost too fast. He laid the sleeping squirrel on the bench, listened, then instinctively stood up and walked to the thicket's edge.
The muted sound of a horse's hooves on the bridle path grabbed his attention. The horse was approaching quickly—almost too quickly. He placed the sleeping squirrel on the bench, listened, then instinctively stood up and walked to the edge of the thicket.
What happened was too quick for him to comprehend; he had a vision of a big black horse, mane and tail in the wind, tearing madly, straight at him--a glimpse of a white face, desperate and set, a flutter of loosened hair; then a storm of wind and sand roared in his ears; he was hurled, jerked, and flung forward, dragged, shaken, and left half senseless, hanging to nose and bit of a horse whose rider was picking herself out of a bush covered with white flowers.
What happened was too fast for him to understand; he saw a big black horse, its mane and tail flying in the wind, charging straight at him—a flash of a white face, fierce and determined, a swirl of loose hair; then a storm of wind and sand blasted in his ears; he was thrown, yanked, and propelled forward, dragged, jolted, and left half-conscious, clinging to the nose and bit of a horse whose rider was getting herself out of a bush covered with white flowers.
Half senseless still, he tightened his grip on the bit, released the grasp on the creature's nose, and, laying his hand full on the forelock, brought it down twice and twice across the eyes, talking to the horse in halting, broken whispers.
Half-conscious still, he tightened his grip on the bit, let go of the creature's nose, and, placing his hand firmly on the forelock, brought it down twice and then twice across the eyes, speaking to the horse in hesitant, broken whispers.
When he had the trembling animal under control he looked around; the girl stood on the grass, dusty, dirty, disheveled, bleeding from a cut on the cheek bone; the most bewildered and astonished creature he had ever looked upon.
When he finally had the shaking animal under control, he looked around; the girl was standing on the grass, dusty, dirty, disheveled, and bleeding from a cut on her cheekbone; she was the most bewildered and astonished person he had ever seen.
"It will be all right in a few minutes," he said, motioning her to the bench on the asphalt walk. She nodded, turned, picked up his hat, and, seating herself, began to smooth the furred nap with her sleeve, watching him intently all the while. That he already had the confidence of a horse that he had never before seen was perfectly apparent. Little by little the sweating, quivering limbs were stilled, the tense muscles in the neck relaxed, the head sank, dusty velvet lips nibbled at his hand, his shoulder; the heaving, sunken flanks filled and grew quiet.
"It'll be fine in a few minutes," he said, gesturing for her to sit on the bench by the asphalt path. She nodded, turned, picked up his hat, and, sitting down, began to smooth the soft fabric with her sleeve, watching him closely the whole time. It was clear that he already had the trust of a horse he had never seen before. Gradually, the sweating, trembling limbs calmed down, the tense muscles in his neck loosened, his head dropped, dusty velvet lips nibbled at his hand, then his shoulder; the heaving, sunken sides filled out and became still.
Bareheaded, his attire in disorder and covered with slaver and sand, the young man laid the bridle on the horse's neck, held out his hand, and, saying "Come," turned his back and walked down the bridle path. The horse stretched a sweating neck, sniffed, pricked forward both small ears, and slowly followed, turning as the man turned, up and down, crowding at heel like a trained dog, finally stopping on the edge of the walk.
Bareheaded, his clothes a mess and covered in saliva and sand, the young man draped the bridle over the horse's neck, extended his hand, and said "Come," before turning around and walking down the path. The horse stretched its sweaty neck, sniffed, perked up both small ears, and slowly followed, mimicking the man's movements, zigzagging back and forth, staying close behind him like a trained dog, finally stopping at the edge of the walkway.
The young man looped the bridle over a low maple limb, and leaving the horse standing sauntered over to the bench.
The young man threw the bridle over a low maple branch, and after leaving the horse standing there, he casually walked over to the bench.
"That horse," he said pleasantly, "is all right now; but the question is, are you all right?"
"That horse," he said cheerfully, "is fine now; but the real question is, are you okay?"
She rose, handing him his hat, and began to twist up her bright hair. For a few moments' silence they were frankly occupied in restoring order to raiment, dusting off gravel and examining rents.
She got up, handed him his hat, and started to twist her bright hair up. For a few moments, they were both busy fixing their clothes, brushing off dirt and checking for tears.
"I'm tremendously grateful," she said abruptly.
"I'm really grateful," she said suddenly.
"I am, too," he said in that attractive manner which sets people of similar caste at ease with one another.
"I am, too," he said in that charming way that makes people of the same background feel comfortable with each other.
"Thank you; it's a generous compliment, considering your hat and clothing."
"Thanks; that's a really kind compliment, especially given your hat and outfit."
He looked up; she stood twisting her hair and doing her best with the few remaining hair pegs.
He looked up; she was twisting her hair and trying her best with the few hairpins left.
"I'm a sight for little fishes," she said, coloring. "Did that wretched beast bruise you?"
"I'm quite a sight for small fish," she said, blushing. "Did that awful creature hurt you?"
"Oh, no----"
"Oh no—"
"You limped!"
"You limped!"
"Did I?" he said vaguely. "How do you feel?"
"Did I?" he said uncertainly. "How are you feeling?"
"There is," she said, "a curious, breathless flutter all over me; if that is fright, I suppose I'm frightened, but I don't mind mounting at once-- if you would put me up----"
"There’s," she said, "a strange, breathless flutter all over me; if that’s fear, I guess I’m scared, but I don’t mind getting on right away—if you could help me up----"
"Better wait a bit," he said; "it would not do to have that horse feel a fluttering pulse, telegraphing along the snaffle. Tell me, are you spurred?"
"Better wait a moment," he said; "it wouldn’t be good for that horse to sense a racing pulse, signaling through the snaffle. Tell me, are you using spurs?"
She lifted the hem of her habit; two small spurs glittered on her polished boot heels.
She lifted the edge of her habit; two small spurs sparkled on her shiny boot heels.
"That's it, you see," he observed; "you probably have not ridden cross saddle very long. When your mount swerved you spurred, and he bolted, bit in teeth."
"That's it, you see," he noted; "you probably haven't been riding side-saddle for very long. When your horse turned, you kicked him, and he took off, biting down on the bit."
"That's exactly it," she admitted, looking ruefully at her spurs. Then she dropped her skirt, glanced interrogatively at him, and, obeying his grave gesture, seated herself again upon the bench.
"That's right," she said, glancing sadly at her spurs. Then she lowered her skirt, looked at him questioningly, and, following his serious gesture, sat back down on the bench.
"Don't stand," she said civilly. He took the other end of the seat, lifting the still slumbering squirrel to his knee.
"Don't stand," she said politely. He grabbed the other end of the seat, lifting the still sleeping squirrel onto his knee.
"I--I haven't said very much," she began; "I'm impulsive enough to be overgrateful and say too much. I hope you understand me; do you?"
"I—I haven't said much," she started; "I'm impulsive enough to be overly grateful and talk too much. I hope you get me; do you?"
"Of course; you're very good. It was nothing; you could have stopped your horse yourself. People do that sort of thing for one another as a matter of course."
"Of course; you're really great. It was nothing; you could have stopped your horse yourself. People help each other out like that all the time."
"But not at the risk you took----"
"But not at the risk you took----"
"No risk at all," he said hastily.
"No risk at all," he said quickly.
She thought otherwise, and thought it so fervently that, afraid of emotion, she turned her cold, white profile to him and studied her horse, haughty lids adroop. The same insolent sweetness was in her eyes when they again reverted to him. He knew the look; he had encountered it often enough in the hallway and on the stairs. He knew, too, that she must recognize him; yet, under the circumstances, it was for her to speak first; and she did not, for she was at that age when horror of overdoing anything chokes back the scarcely extinguished childish instinct to say too much. In other words, she was eighteen and had had her first season the winter past--the winter when he had not been visible among the gatherings of his own kind.
She thought differently, and felt it so intensely that, fearing her emotions, she turned her cold, white profile away from him and focused on her horse, her proud eyelids drooping. The same defiant sweetness was in her eyes when they returned to him. He recognized that look; he had seen it often enough in the hallway and on the stairs. He also knew she must recognize him; still, given the situation, it was her turn to speak first. But she didn’t, because she was at that age when the fear of being excessive stifles the barely quelled childish urge to say too much. In other words, she was eighteen and had just had her first social season the previous winter—the winter when he hadn’t been seen among gatherings of his peers.
"Those squirrels are very tame," she observed calmly.
"Those squirrels are really friendly," she noted calmly.
"Not always," he said. "Try to hold this one, for example."
"Not always," he said. "Try holding this one, for instance."
She raised her pretty eyebrows, then accepted the lump of fluffy fur from his hands. Instantly an electric shock seemed to set the squirrel frantic, there was a struggle, a streak of gray and white, and the squirrel leaped from her lap and fairly flew down the asphalt path.
She raised her nice eyebrows, then took the fluffy fur ball from his hands. Instantly, a jolt seemed to send the squirrel into a frenzy; there was a struggle, a blur of gray and white, and the squirrel jumped from her lap and zoomed down the asphalt path.
"Gracious!" she exclaimed faintly; "what was the matter?"
"Wow!" she exclaimed softly; "what happened?"
"Some squirrels are very wild," he said innocently.
"Some squirrels are really wild," he said innocently.
"I know--but you held him--he was asleep on your knee. Why didn't he stay with me?"
"I know—but you had him—he was sleeping on your lap. Why didn't he stay with me?"
"Oh, perhaps because I have a way with animals."
"Oh, maybe it's because I have a knack for animals."
"With horses, too," she added gayly. And the smile breaking from her violet eyes silenced him in the magic of a beauty he had never dreamed of. At first she mistook his silence for modesty; then--because even as young a maid as she is quick to divine and fine of instinct--she too fell silent and serious, the while the shuttles of her reason flew like lightning, weaving the picture of him she had conceived--a gentleman, a man of her own sort, rather splendid and wise and bewildering. The portrait completed, there was no room for the hint of presumption she had half sensed in the brown eyes' glance that had set her alert; and she looked up at him again, frankly, a trifle curiously.
"With horses, too," she said cheerfully. And the smile that lit up her violet eyes left him speechless in the spell of a beauty he had never imagined. At first, she thought his silence was just modesty; then—because even a young girl like her is quick to notice and has a fine instinct—she grew silent and serious as well, while her mind worked rapidly to create the image of him she had in her head—a gentleman, a man of her kind, quite impressive, wise, and puzzling. With the picture finished, there was no longer any room for the hint of arrogance she had partly sensed in the look from his brown eyes that had caught her attention; she looked up at him again, openly, a little curious.
"I am going to thank you once more," she said, "and ask you to put me up. There is not a flutter of fear in my pulse now."
"I want to thank you again," she said, "and ask if you can let me stay with you. I’m not afraid at all right now."
"Are you quite sure?"
"Are you really sure?"
"Perfectly."
"Absolutely."
They arose; he untied the horse and beckoned it to the walk's edge.
They got up; he untied the horse and gestured for it to come to the edge of the path.
"I forgot," she said, laughing, "that I am riding cross saddle. I can mount without troubling you--" She set her toe to the stirrup which he held, and swung herself up into the saddle with a breezy "Thanks, awfully," and sat there gathering her bridle.
"I totally forgot," she said with a laugh, "that I'm riding side saddle. I can get on without bothering you—" She pressed her toe against the stirrup he was holding and swung herself up into the saddle with a lighthearted "Thanks so much," and sat there adjusting her bridle.
Had she said enough? How coldly her own thanks rang in her ears--for perhaps he had saved her neck--and perhaps not. Busy with curb and snaffle reins, head bent, into her oval face a tint of color crept. Did he think she treated lightly, flippantly, the courage which became him so? Or was he already bored by her acknowledgment of it? Sensitive, dreading to expose youth and inexperience to the amused smile of this attractive young man of the world, she sat fumbling with her bridle, conscious that he stood beside her, hat in hand, looking up at her. She could delay no longer; the bridle had been shifted and reshifted to the last second of procrastination. She must say something or go.
Had she said enough? How coldly her own thanks echoed in her ears—for maybe he had saved her life—and maybe not. Busy with the curb and snaffle reins, her head bent, a flush crept into her oval face. Did he think she was taking lightly, flippantly, the courage that suited him so well? Or was he already tired of her acknowledgment of it? Sensitive, fearing to reveal her youth and inexperience to the teasing smile of this charming young man of the world, she sat fiddling with her bridle, aware that he stood beside her, hat in hand, looking up at her. She could delay no longer; the bridle had been adjusted and readjusted to the very last moment of procrastination. She had to say something or leave.
Meeting his eyes, she smiled and leaned a little forward in her saddle as though to speak, but his brown eyes troubled her, and all she could say was "Thank you--good-by," and galloped off down the vista through dim, leafy depths heavy with the incense of lilac and syringa.
Meeting his gaze, she smiled and leaned slightly forward in her saddle as if to say something, but his brown eyes unsettled her, and all she could manage was, "Thank you—goodbye," before she galloped away through the dim, leafy path filled with the scent of lilac and syringa.
II
THE IDLER
Concerning the Young Man in the Ditch and His Attempts to Get Out of It
About the Young Man in the Ditch and His Efforts to Climb Out
Although he was not vindictive, he did not care to owe anything to anybody who might be inclined to give him a hearing on account of former obligations or his social position. Everybody knew he had gone to smash; everybody, he very soon discovered, was naturally afraid of being bothered by him. The dread of the overfed that an underfed member of the community may request a seat at the table he now understood perfectly. He was learning.
Although he wasn’t bitter, he didn’t want to owe anything to anyone who might listen to him because of past debts or his social status. Everyone knew he was down on his luck; he quickly realized that everyone was understandably hesitant to be bothered by him. He now completely understood the fear of those who are well-off that someone who is struggling might ask for a place at the table. He was learning.
So he solicited aid from nobody whom he had known in former days; neither from those who had aided him when he needed no aid, nor those who owed their comfortable position to the generosity of his father--a gentleman notorious for making fortunes for his friends.
So he asked for help from no one he had known in the past; neither from those who had helped him when he didn't need help, nor from those who owed their comfortable situation to his father's generosity—a man famous for making fortunes for his friends.
Therefore he wrote to strangers on a purely business basis--to amazing types lately emerged from the submerged, bulging with coal money, steel money, copper money, wheat money, stockyard money--types that galloped for Fifth Avenue to build town houses; that shook their long cars and frisked into the country and built "cottages." And this was how he put it:
Therefore, he wrote to strangers just for business—remarkable people who had recently risen up, overflowing with coal money, steel money, copper money, wheat money, and stockyard money—people who rushed to Fifth Avenue to construct townhouses; who drove their fancy cars and escaped to the countryside to build "cottages." And this is how he expressed it:
"Madam: In case you desire to entertain guests with the professional services of a magician it would give me pleasure to place my very unusual accomplishments at your disposal."
Madam: If you’d like to host guests with the professional services of a magician, I would be happy to offer my unique skills for your event.
And signed his name.
And signed his name.
It was a dreadful drain on his bank account to send several thousand engraved cards about town and fashionable resorts. No replies came. Day after day, exhausted with the practice drill of his profession, he walked to the Park and took his seat on the bench by the bridle path. Sometimes he saw her cantering past; she always acknowledged his salute, but never drew bridle. At times, too, he passed her in the hall; her colorless "Good morning" never varied except when she said "Good evening." And all this time he never inquired her name from the hall servant; he was that sort of man--decent through instinct; for even breeding sometimes permits sentiment to snoop.
It was a huge hit to his bank account to send out several thousand engraved cards around town and to trendy spots. No responses came. Day after day, worn out from the routine of his job, he walked to the Park and settled onto the bench by the bridle path. Sometimes he saw her riding by; she always acknowledged his greeting but never slowed down. Occasionally, he would run into her in the hallway; her bland "Good morning" never changed, except when she said "Good evening." And all this time, he never asked the hall servant for her name; he was just that kind of person—decent by nature; even good upbringing sometimes allows feelings to creep in.
For a week he had been airily dispensing with more than one meal a day; to keep clothing and boots immaculate required a sacrifice of breakfast and luncheon--besides, he had various small pensioners to feed, white rabbits with foolish pink eyes, canary birds, cats, albino mice, goldfish, and other collaborateurs in his profession. He was obliged to bribe the janitor, too, because the laws of the house permitted neither animals nor babies within its precincts. This extra honorarium deprived him of tobacco, and he became a pessimist.
For a week, he had been casually skipping more than one meal a day; keeping his clothes and boots spotless required sacrificing breakfast and lunch. On top of that, he had various small pets to feed: white rabbits with silly pink eyes, canaries, cats, albino mice, goldfish, and other little companions in his work. He also had to pay off the janitor because the building's rules didn't allow animals or children on the premises. This extra expense took away his money for tobacco, and he became a pessimist.
Besides, doubts as to his own ability arose within him; it was all very well to practice his magic there alone, but he had not yet tried it on anybody except the janitor; and when he had begun by discovering several red-eyed rabbits in the janitor's pockets that intemperate functionary fled with a despondent yell that brought a policeman to the area gate with a threat to pull the place.
Besides, he started to doubt his own abilities; it was fine to practice his magic alone, but he hadn’t tried it on anyone except the janitor. When he first pulled out several red-eyed rabbits from the janitor's pockets, that overworked guy ran off with a desperate shout that got a policeman to the area gate, threatening to shut the place down.
At length, however, a letter came engaging him for one evening. He was quite incredulous at first, then modestly scared, perplexed, exultant and depressed by turns. Here was an opening--the first. And because it was the first its success or failure meant future engagements or consignments to the street, perhaps as a white-wing. There must be no faltering now, no bungling, no mistakes, no amateurish hesitation. It is the empty-headed who most strenuously demand intelligence in others. One yawn from such an audience meant his professional damnation--he knew that; every second must break like froth in a wine glass; an instant's perplexity, a slackening of the tension, and those flaccid intellects would relax into native inertia. Incapable of self-amusement, depending utterly upon superior minds for a respite from ennui, their caprice controlled his fate; and he knew it.
Eventually, a letter arrived inviting him to perform one evening. At first, he couldn't believe it, then he felt a mix of modest fear, confusion, excitement, and sadness all at once. This was an opportunity—the first one. And because it was the first, its outcome would determine whether he would have future gigs or be left on the street, maybe even as part of a lowly act. There could be no hesitating now, no mistakes, no awkward fumbling. It's the clueless who demand intelligence the most from others. One yawn from that audience could spell his professional ruin—he understood that; every second needed to sparkle like bubbles in a champagne glass; a moment of uncertainty or a drop in energy, and those dull minds would just sink into their usual laziness. Unable to entertain themselves, relying completely on sharper minds to break their boredom, their whims decided his destiny; he was well aware of that.
Sitting there by the sunny window with a pair of magnificent white Persian cats purring on either knee, he read and reread the letter summoning him on the morrow to Seabright. He knew who his hostess was--a large lady lately emerged from a corner in lard, dragging with her some assorted relatives of atrophied intellects and a husband whose only mental pleasure depended upon the speed attained by his racing car--the most exacting audience he could dare to confront.
Sitting by the sunny window with a couple of beautiful white Persian cats purring on each knee, he read and reread the letter telling him to come to Seabright the next day. He knew who his hostess was—a big lady who had just come out of a corner in lard, bringing along some assorted relatives with dull minds and a husband whose only joy came from how fast his racing car could go—the toughest audience he could possibly face.
Like the White Knight he had had plenty of practice, but he feared that warrior's fate; and as he sat there he picked up a bunch of silver hoops, tossed them up separately so that they descended linked in a glittering chain, looped them and unlooped them, and, tiring, thoughtfully tossed them toward the ceiling again, where they vanished one by one in mid-air.
Like the White Knight, he had a lot of practice, but he worried about that warrior's fate; and as he sat there, he picked up a handful of silver hoops, tossed them up one by one so that they came down linked together in a sparkling chain, looped them and unlooped them, and, feeling tired, thoughtfully tossed them toward the ceiling again, where they disappeared one by one in mid-air.
The cats purred; he picked up one, molded her carefully in his handsome hands; and presently, under the agreeable massage, her purring increased while she dwindled and dwindled to the size of a small, fluffy kitten, then vanished entirely, leaving in his hand a tiny white mouse. This mouse he tossed into the air, where it became no mouse at all but a white butterfly that fluttered 'round and 'round, alighting at last on the window curtain and hung there, opening and closing its snowy wings.
The cats were purring; he picked one up, gently cradling her in his attractive hands; and soon, as he massaged her, her purring grew louder while she shrank down to the size of a small, fluffy kitten, then disappeared completely, leaving a tiny white mouse in his hand. He tossed this mouse into the air, and it transformed into a white butterfly that fluttered around before finally landing on the window curtain, where it hung, opening and closing its delicate white wings.
"That's all very well," he reflected, gloomily, as, at a pass of his hand, the air was filled with canary birds; "that's all very well, but suppose I should slip up? What I need is to rehearse to somebody before I face two or three hundred people."
"That's all good," he thought gloomily, as he waved his hand and the air was filled with canary birds; "that's all good, but what if I mess up? What I need is to practice in front of someone before I face two or three hundred people."
He thought he heard a knocking on his door, and listened a moment. But as there was an electric bell there he concluded he had been mistaken; and picking up the other white cat, he began a gentle massage that stimulated her purring, apparently at the expense of her color and size, for in a few moments she also dwindled until she became a very small, coal-black kitten, changing in a twinkling to a blackbird, when he cast her carelessly toward the ceiling. It was well done; in all India no magician could have done it more cleverly, more casually.
He thought he heard a knock at his door and paused to listen. But since there was an electric bell, he figured he must have been mistaken. Picking up the other white cat, he started to give her a gentle massage that got her purring, though it seemed to come at the cost of her size and color. In just a few moments, she shrank down to a tiny, coal-black kitten, and in the blink of an eye, she turned into a blackbird when he tossed her carelessly toward the ceiling. It was impressive; no magician in all of India could have done it more skillfully or casually.
Leaning forward in his chair he reproduced the two white cats from behind him, put the kittens back in their box, caught the blackbird and caged it, and was carefully winding up the hairspring in the white butterfly, when again he fancied that somebody was knocking.
Leaning forward in his chair, he brought back the two white cats from behind him, put the kittens back in their box, caught the blackbird and caged it, and was carefully winding up the hairspring in the white butterfly when he thought he heard someone knocking again.
III
THE GREEN MOUSE
Showing the Value of a Helping Hand When It Is White and Slender
Demonstrating the Importance of a Helping Hand When It's White and Slim
This time he went leisurely to the door and opened it; a girl stood there, saying, "I beg your pardon for disturbing you--" It was high time she admitted it, for her eyes had been disturbing him day and night since the first time he passed her in the hall.
This time he walked calmly to the door and opened it; a girl stood there, saying, "I'm sorry to bother you--" It was about time she confessed, because her eyes had been bothering him day and night since the first time he saw her in the hallway.
She appeared to be a trifle frightened, too, and, scarcely waiting for his invitation, she stepped inside with a hurried glance behind her, and walked to the center of the room holding her skirts carefully as though stepping through wet grass.
She seemed a bit scared, too, and without waiting for his invitation, she quickly looked back and stepped inside, walking to the center of the room while holding her skirts carefully as if she were stepping through wet grass.
"I--I am annoyed," she said in a voice not perfectly under command. "If you please, would you tell me whether there is such a thing as a pea-green mouse?"
"I—I'm annoyed," she said, her voice slightly shaky. "Could you please tell me if there's actually such a thing as a pea-green mouse?"
Then he did a mean thing; he could have cleared up that matter with a word, a smile, and--he didn't.
Then he did a cruel thing; he could have resolved that issue with a word, a smile, and—he didn't.
"A green mouse?" he repeated gently, almost pitifully.
"A green mouse?" he said softly, almost sadly.
She nodded, then paled; he drew a big chair toward her, for her knees trembled a little; and she sat down with an appealing glance that ought to have made him ashamed of himself.
She nodded, then turned pale; he pulled a large chair closer to her because her knees shook a bit; and she sat down with a pleading look that should have made him feel ashamed of himself.
"What has frightened you?" inquired that meanest of men.
"What scared you?" asked that meanest of men.
"I was in my studio--and I must first explain to you that for weeks and weeks I--I have imagined I heard sounds--" She looked carefully around her; nothing animate was visible. "Sounds," she repeated, swallowing a little lump in her white throat, "like the faint squealing and squeaking and sniffing and scratching of--of live things. I asked the janitor, and he said the house was not very well built and that the beams and wainscoting were shrinking."
"I was in my studio—and I need to explain that for weeks now, I've imagined I heard sounds—" She glanced around cautiously; there was nothing alive in sight. "Sounds," she repeated, swallowing a small lump in her throat, "like the faint squeaking and sniffing and scratching of—of living creatures. I asked the janitor, and he said the building wasn’t constructed very well and that the beams and wainscoting were shrinking."
"Did he say that?" inquired the young man, thinking of the bribes.
"Did he really say that?" the young man asked, thinking about the bribes.
"Yes, and I tried to believe him. And one day I thought I heard about one hundred canaries singing, and I know I did, but that idiot janitor said they were the sparrows under the eaves. Then one day when your door was open, and I was coming up the stairway, and it was dark in the entry, something big and soft flopped across the carpet, and--it being exceedingly common to scream--I didn't, but managed to get past it, and"-- her violet eyes widened with horror--"do you know what that soft, floppy thing was? It was an owl!"
"Yes, and I tried to believe him. One day, I thought I heard about a hundred canaries singing, and I know I did, but that clueless janitor said they were just the sparrows under the eaves. Then one day, when your door was open and I was coming up the stairs, it was dark in the entryway, and something big and soft flopped across the carpet. Normally, I would have screamed, but I didn't. I managed to get past it, and" — her violet eyes widened in horror — "do you know what that soft, floppy thing was? It was an owl!"
He was aware of it; he had managed to secure the escaped bird before her electric summons could arouse the janitor.
He knew about it; he had managed to catch the escaped bird before her urgent call could wake up the janitor.
"I called the janitor," she said, "and he came and we searched the entry; but there was no owl."
"I called the janitor," she said, "and he came, and we searched the entrance, but there was no owl."
He appeared to be greatly impressed; she recognized the sympathy in his brown eyes.
He seemed really impressed; she saw the kindness in his brown eyes.
"That wretched janitor declared I had seen a cat," she resumed; "and I could not persuade him otherwise. For a week I scarcely dared set foot on the stairs, but I had to--you see, I live at home and only come to my studio to paint."
"That awful janitor insisted I had seen a cat," she continued; "and I couldn't convince him otherwise. For a week, I barely had the courage to step on the stairs, but I had to—since I live at home and only come to my studio to paint."
"I thought you lived here," he said, surprised.
"I thought you lived here," he said, shocked.
"Oh, no. I have my studio--" she hesitated, then smiled. "Everybody makes fun of me, and I suppose they'll laugh me out of it, but I detest conventions, and I did hope I had talent for something besides frivolity."
"Oh, no. I have my studio--" she paused, then smiled. "Everyone makes fun of me, and I guess they'll laugh me out of it, but I really can't stand conventions, and I hoped I had talent for something more than just trivial things."
Her gaze wandered around his room; then suddenly the possible significance of her unconventional situation brought her to her feet, serious but self-possessed.
Her eyes roamed around his room; then suddenly the possible significance of her unusual situation made her stand up, serious yet composed.
"I beg your pardon again," she said, "but I was really driven out of my studio--quite frightened, I confess."
"I’m really sorry again," she said, "but I was truly forced out of my studio—I was quite scared, I admit."
"What drove you out?" he asked guiltily.
"What pushed you away?" he asked, feeling guilty.
"Something--you can scarcely credit it--and I dare not tell the janitor for fear he will think me--queer." She raised her distressed and lovely eyes again: "Oh, please believe that I did see a bright green mouse!"
"Something—you won’t believe it—but I can’t tell the janitor because I’m afraid he’ll think I’m—strange." She lifted her troubled and beautiful eyes again: "Oh, please believe that I did see a bright green mouse!"
"I do believe it," he said, wincing.
"I really do believe it," he said, flinching.
"Thank you. I--I know perfectly well how it sounds--and I know that horrid people see things like that, but"--she spoke piteously--"I had only one glass of claret at luncheon, and I am perfectly healthy in body and mind. How could I see such a thing if it was not there?"
"Thank you. I—I totally get how it sounds—and I know that awful people think like that, but"—she said sadly—"I only had one glass of claret at lunch, and I'm perfectly healthy in body and mind. How could I see something like that if it wasn't there?"
"It was there," he declared.
"It was there," he said.
"Do you really think so? A green--bright green mouse?"
"Do you really think so? A bright green mouse?"
"Haven't a doubt of it," he assured her; "saw one myself the other day."
"Haven't a doubt about it," he assured her; "I saw one myself the other day."
"Where?"
"Where at?"
"On the floor--" he made a vague gesture. "There's probably a crack between your studio and my wall, and the little rascal crept into your place."
"On the floor--" he waved his hand. "There’s probably a gap between your studio and my wall, and that little troublemaker sneaked into your place."
She stood looking at him uncertainly: "Are there really such things as green mice?"
She stood there, looking at him doubtfully. "Do green mice actually exist?"
"Well," he explained, "I fancy this one was originally white. Somebody probably dyed it green."
"Well," he said, "I think this one was originally white. Someone probably dyed it green."
"But who on earth would be silly enough to do such a thing?"
"But who on earth would be foolish enough to do something like that?"
His ears grew red--he felt them doing it.
His ears turned red—he could feel them getting warm.
After a moment she said: "I am glad you told me that you, too, saw this unspeakable mouse. I have decided to write to the owners of the house and request an immediate investigation. Would--would it be too much to ask you to write also?"
After a moment, she said, "I'm glad you mentioned that you saw this terrible mouse, too. I've decided to write to the owners of the house and ask for an immediate investigation. Would it be too much to ask you to write as well?"
"Are you--you going to write?" he asked, appalled.
"Are you—are you going to write?" he asked, shocked.
"Certainly. Either some dreadful creature here keeps a bird store and brings home things that escape, or the house is infested. I don't care what the janitor says; I did hear squeals and whines and whimpers!"
"Sure. Either some awful creature here runs a bird shop and brings home things that get away, or the house is overrun. I don’t care what the janitor says; I definitely heard squealing, whining, and whimpering!"
"Suppose--suppose we wait," he began lamely; but at that moment her blue eyes widened; she caught him convulsively by the arm, pointing, one snowy finger outstretched.
"Let's just wait," he started weakly; but at that moment, her blue eyes widened; she grabbed him tightly by the arm, pointing with one outstretched snowy finger.
"Oh-h!" she said hysterically, and the next instant was standing upon a chair, pale as a ghost. It was a wonder she had not mounted the dresser, too, for there, issuing in creepy single file from the wainscoting, came mice--mice of various tints. A red one led the grewsome rank, a black and white one came next, then in decorous procession followed the guilty green one, a yellow one, a blue one, and finally--horror of horrors!--a red-white-and-blue mouse, carrying a tiny American flag.
"Oh no!" she shouted in a panic, and the next moment she was standing on a chair, as pale as a ghost. It was a miracle she hadn’t climbed onto the dresser as well, because there, coming out in a creepy single line from the wall, were mice—mice of different colors. A red one led the creepy parade, followed by a black and white one, then in an orderly line came the guilty green one, a yellow one, a blue one, and finally—what a nightmare!—a red, white, and blue mouse, holding a tiny American flag.
He turned a miserable face toward her; she, eyes dilated, frozen to a statue, saw him advance, hold out a white wand--saw the uncanny procession of mice mount the stick and form into a row, tails hanging down--saw him carry the creatures to a box and dump them in.
He turned a miserable face toward her; she, eyes wide, frozen like a statue, saw him move forward, holding out a white wand—saw the strange procession of mice climb the stick and line up, tails hanging down—saw him carry the animals to a box and dump them in.
He was trying to speak now. She heard him stammer something about the escape of the mice; she heard him asking her pardon. Dazed, she laid her hand in his as he aided her to descend to the floor; nerveless, speechless, she sank into the big chair, horror still dilating her eyes.
He was trying to talk now. She heard him stutter something about the mice getting away; she heard him asking for her forgiveness. Confused, she placed her hand in his as he helped her down to the floor; weak and speechless, she collapsed into the large chair, her eyes still wide with horror.
"It's all up with me," he said slowly, "if you write to the owners. I've bribed the janitor to say nothing. I'm dreadfully mortified that these things have happened to annoy you."
"It's all over for me," he said slowly, "if you contact the owners. I've paid off the janitor to keep quiet. I'm really embarrassed that these things have happened to bother you."
The color came back into her face; amazement dominated her anger. "But why--why do you keep such creatures?"
The color returned to her face; surprise took over her anger. "But why—why do you keep such creatures?"
"Why shouldn't I?" he asked. "It is my profession." "Your--what?"
"Why shouldn't I?" he asked. "It's my job." "Your--what?"
"My profession," he repeated doggedly.
"My job," he repeated doggedly.
"Oh," she said, revolted, "that is not true! You are a gentleman--I know who you are perfectly well!"
"Oh," she said, disgusted, "that’s not true! You’re a gentleman—I know exactly who you are!"
"Who am I?"
"Who am I?"
She called him by name, almost angrily.
She shouted his name, almost angrily.
"Well," he said sullenly, "what of it? If you have investigated my record you must know I am as poor as these miserable mice."
"Well," he said gloomily, "so what? If you've looked into my background, you must know I'm as broke as these pitiful mice."
"I--I know it. But you are a gentleman----"
"I—I know it. But you are a gentleman—"
"I am a mountebank," he said; "I mean a mountebank in its original interpretation. There's neither sense nor necessity for me to deny it."
"I’m a con artist," he said; "I mean a con artist in its original sense. There’s no reason for me to deny it."
"I--I don't understand you," she whispered, shocked.
"I—I don't get you," she whispered, shocked.
"Why, I do monkey tricks to entertain people," he replied, forcing a laugh, "or rather, I hope to do a few--and be paid for them. I fancy every man finds his own level; I've found mine, apparently."
"Well, I do tricks to entertain people," he said, forcing a laugh, "or at least I hope to do a few—and get paid for them. I think every person finds their own place; it seems I've found mine."
Her face was inscrutable; she lay back in the great chair, watching him.
Her expression was unreadable; she leaned back in the big chair, watching him.
"I have a little money left," he said; "enough to last a day or two. Then I am to be paid for entertaining some people at Seabright; and," he added with that very attractive smile of his from which all bitterness had departed, "and that will be the first money I ever earned in all my life."
"I have a little money left," he said, "enough to last a day or two. Then I'm going to get paid for entertaining some people at Seabright; and," he added with that charming smile of his that showed no trace of bitterness, "that will be the first money I've ever earned in my life."
She was young enough to be fascinated, child enough to feel the little lump in her throat rising. She knew he was poor; her sisters had told her that; but she had supposed it to be only comparative poverty--just as her cousins, for instance, had scarcely enough to keep more than two horses in town and only one motor. But want--actual need--she had never dreamed of in his case--she could scarcely understand it even now--he was so well groomed, so attractive, fairly radiating good breeding and the easy financial atmosphere she was accustomed to.
She was young enough to be intrigued, childlike enough to feel the small knot in her throat tightening. She knew he was poor; her sisters had told her that. But she thought it was only relative poverty—like how her cousins barely had enough to keep more than two horses in town and just one car. But true want—actual need—she never imagined in his case; she could hardly grasp it even now—he was so well-groomed, so appealing, exuding an air of refinement and the comfortable financial environment she was used to.
"So you see," he continued gayly, "if you complain to the owners about green mice, why, I shall have to leave, and, as a matter of fact, I haven't enough money to go anywhere except--" he laughed.
"So you see," he continued cheerfully, "if you tell the owners about green mice, then I’ll have to leave, and actually, I don’t have enough money to go anywhere except--" he laughed.
"Where?" she managed to say.
"Where?" she was able to say.
"The Park. I was joking, of course," he hastened to add, for she had turned rather white.
"The Park. I was just kidding, of course," he quickly added, noticing that she had turned pretty pale.
"No," she said, "you were not joking." And as he made no reply: "Of course, I shall not write--now. I had rather my studio were overrun with multicolored mice--" She stopped with something almost like a sob. He smiled, thinking she was laughing.
"No," she said, "you weren't joking." And when he didn't respond: "Of course, I'm not going to write—now. I'd rather my studio be overrun with multicolored mice—" She stopped, almost sobbing. He smiled, thinking she was laughing.
But oh, the blow for her! In her youthful enthusiasm she had always, from the first time they had encountered one another, been sensitively aware of this tall, clean-cut, attractive young fellow. And by and by she learned his name and asked her sisters about him, and when she heard of his recent ruin and withdrawal from the gatherings of his kind her youth flushed to its romantic roots, warming all within her toward this splendid and radiant young man who lived so nobly, so proudly aloof. And then--miracle of Manhattan!--he had proved his courage before her dazed eyes--rising suddenly out of the very earth to save her from a fate which her eager desire painted blacker every time she embellished the incident. And she decorated the memory of it every day.
But oh, the shock for her! In her youthful enthusiasm, she had always, from the very first time they met, been acutely aware of this tall, good-looking, charming guy. Eventually, she found out his name and asked her sisters about him. When she learned about his recent downfall and withdrawal from social events, her youth was ignited by its romantic roots, filling her with warmth toward this amazing and glamorous young man who lived so nobly, so proudly distant. And then—what a miracle in Manhattan!—he showed his bravery right before her astonished eyes—suddenly rising up to rescue her from a fate that her eager imagination painted more terribly every time she thought about the situation. And she cherished that memory every single day.
And now! Here, beside her, was this prince among men, her champion, beaten to his ornamental knees by Fate, and contemplating a miserable, uncertain career to keep his godlike body from actual starvation. And she--she with more money than even she knew what to do with, powerless to aid him, prevented from flinging open her check book and bidding him to write and write till he could write no more.
And now! Here, next to her, was this amazing guy, her hero, brought down to his decorative knees by Fate, and thinking about a miserable, uncertain future just to keep his incredible body from actually starving. And she—she who had more money than she even knew what to do with, unable to help him, stopped from opening her checkbook and telling him to write as much as he wanted until he couldn’t write anymore.
A memory--a thought crept in. Where had she heard his name connected with her father's name? In Ophir Steel? Certainly; and was it not this young man's father who had laid the foundation for her father's fortune? She had heard some such thing, somewhere.
A memory—a thought popped into her mind. Where had she heard his name linked with her father's? In Ophir Steel? Definitely; and wasn't it this young man's dad who helped build her father's wealth? She had heard something like that, somewhere.
He said: "I had no idea of boring anybody--you least of all--with my woes. Indeed, I haven't any sorrows now, because to-day I received my first encouragement; and no doubt I'll be a huge success. Only--I thought it best to make it clear why it would do me considerable damage just now if you should write."
He said, "I had no intention of boring anyone—especially you—with my problems. Honestly, I don't have any sorrows right now, because today I got my first bit of encouragement; and I'm sure I'll be a huge success. I just thought it was important to explain why it would really hurt me if you decided to write."
"Tell me," she said tremulously, "is there anything--anything I can do to--to balance the deep debt of gratitude I owe you----"
"Tell me," she said nervously, "is there anything—anything I can do to— to repay the huge debt of gratitude I owe you----"
"What debt?" he asked, astonished. "Oh! that? Why, that is no debt-- except that I was happy--perfectly and serenely happy to have had that chance to--to hear your voice----"
"What debt?" he asked, surprised. "Oh! That? Well, that's not a debt—except that I was happy—completely and peacefully happy to have had the chance to— to hear your voice----"
"You were brave," she said hastily. "You may make as light of it as you please, but I know."
"You were brave," she said quickly. "You can downplay it all you want, but I know the truth."
"So do I," he laughed, enchanted with the rising color in her cheeks.
"So do I," he laughed, captivated by the blush in her cheeks.
"No, you don't; you don't know how I felt--how afraid I was to show how deeply--deeply I felt. I felt it so deeply that I did not even tell my sisters," she added naively.
"No, you don't; you have no idea how I felt—how scared I was to show how much I cared—how much I really cared. I felt it so strongly that I didn't even tell my sisters," she added innocently.
"Your sisters?"
"Are your sisters here?"
"Yes; you know them." And as he remained silent she said: "Do you not know who I am? Do you not even know my name?"
"Yes; you know them." And when he stayed quiet, she said: "Don't you know who I am? Don't you even know my name?"
He shook his head, laughing.
He shook his head, laughing.
"I'd have given all I had to know; but, of course, I could not ask the servants!"
"I would have given everything I had to find out; but, of course, I couldn't ask the servants!"
Surprise, disappointment, hurt pride that he had had no desire to know gave quick place to a comprehension that set a little thrill tingling her from head to foot. His restraint was the nicest homage ever rendered her; she saw that instantly; and the straight look she gave him out of her clear eyes took his breath away for a second.
Surprise, disappointment, and hurt pride that he hadn’t wanted to know quickly gave way to an understanding that sent a little thrill through her from head to toe. His restraint was the greatest compliment he could have given her; she realized that right away, and the direct look she gave him from her clear eyes took his breath away for a moment.
"Do you remember Sacharissa?" she asked.
"Do you remember Sacharissa?" she asked.
"I do--certainly! I always thought----"
"I do—definitely! I always thought—"
"What?" she said, smiling.
"What?" she said, grinning.
He muttered something about eyes and white skin and a trick of the heavy lids.
He mumbled something about eyes and pale skin and a quirk of the heavy lids.
She was perfectly at ease now; she leaned back in her chair, studying him calmly.
She was completely relaxed now; she leaned back in her chair, watching him calmly.
"Suppose," she said, "people could see me here now."
"Imagine," she said, "if people could see me here right now."
"It would end your artistic career," he replied, laughing; "and fancy! I took you for the sort that painted for a bare existence!"
"It would end your artistic career," he said, laughing; "and imagine! I thought you were the type who painted just to get by!"
"And I--I took you for----"
"And I thought you were----"
"Something very different than what I am."
"Something totally different from what I am."
"In one way--not in others."
"In some ways—not in others."
"Oh! I look the mountebank?"
"Oh! Do I look ridiculous?"
"I shall not explain what I mean," she said with heightened color, and rose from her chair. "As there are no more green mice to peep out at me from behind my easel," she added, "I can have no excuse from abandoning art any longer. Can I?"
"I won't explain what I mean," she said, her cheeks flushed, as she stood up from her chair. "Since there are no more green mice peeking out at me from behind my easel," she added, "I have no reason to keep doing art any longer. Do I?"
The trailing sweetness of the inquiry was scarcely a challenge, yet he dared take it up.
The lingering sweetness of the question was hardly a challenge, yet he boldly accepted it.
"You asked me," he said, "whether you could do anything for me."
"You asked me," he said, "if there’s anything you could do for me."
"Can I?" she exclaimed.
"Can I?" she said.
"Yes."
Yes.
"I will--I am glad--tell me what to do?"
"I will—I’m glad—just tell me what to do?"
"Why, it's only this. I've got to go before an audience of two hundred people and do things. I've had practice here by myself, but--but if you don't mind I should like to try it before somebody--you. Do you mind?"
"Well, it's just this: I have to perform in front of an audience of two hundred people. I've practiced on my own, but—if you don’t mind—I would like to try it in front of someone—like you. Is that okay?"
She stood there, slim, blue-eyed, reflecting; then innocently: "If I've compromised myself the damage was done long ago, wasn't it? They're going to take away my studio anyhow, so I might as well have as much pleasure as I can."
She stood there, slim and blue-eyed, deep in thought; then, innocently, she said, "If I've messed up, that happened a long time ago, right? They're going to take my studio away anyway, so I might as well enjoy myself as much as I can."
And she sat down, gracefully, linking her white fingers over her knees.
And she sat down gracefully, intertwining her pale fingers over her knees.
IV
AN IDEAL IDOL
A Chapter Devoted to the Proposition that All Mankind Are Born of Woman
A Chapter Dedicated to the Idea that Everyone is Born from Women
He began by suddenly filling the air with canary birds; they flew and chirped and fluttered about her head, until, bewildered, she shrank back, almost frightened at the golden hurricane.
He suddenly filled the air with canary birds; they flew, chirped, and fluttered around her head until, confused, she pulled back, almost scared of the golden whirlwind.
To reassure her he began doing incredible things with the big silver hoops, forming chains and linked figures under her amazed eyes, although each hoop seemed solid and without a break in its polished circumference. Then, one by one, he tossed the rings up and they vanished in mid-air before her very eyes.
To reassure her, he started doing amazing things with the big silver hoops, creating chains and linked shapes right in front of her astonished gaze, even though each hoop looked solid and flawless in its shiny surface. Then, one by one, he threw the rings up, and they disappeared into thin air before her eyes.
"How did you do that?" she cried, enchanted.
"How did you do that?" she exclaimed, amazed.
He laughed and produced the big, white Persian cats, changed them into kittens, then into birds and butterflies, and finally into a bowl full of big, staring goldfish. Then he picked up a ladle, dipped out the fish, carefully fried them over an electric lamp, dumped them from the smoking frying pan back into the water, where they quietly swam off again, goggling their eyes in astonishment.
He laughed and pulled out the big, white Persian cats, turned them into kittens, then into birds and butterflies, and finally into a bowl full of big, staring goldfish. Then he grabbed a ladle, scooped out the fish, carefully fried them over an electric lamp, and dumped them from the smoking frying pan back into the water, where they quietly swam off again, wide-eyed in disbelief.
"That," said the girl, excitedly, "is miraculous!"
"That," the girl said excitedly, "is amazing!"
"Isn't it?" he said, delighted as a boy at her praise. "What card will you choose?"
"Isn't it?" he said, thrilled like a kid at her compliment. "Which card will you pick?"
And he handed her a pack.
And he gave her a package.
"The ace of hearts, if you please."
"The ace of hearts, if you don't mind."
"Draw it from the pack."
"Draw it from the deck."
"Any card?" she inquired. "Oh! how on earth did you make me draw the ace of hearts?"
"Any card?" she asked. "Oh! How on earth did you get me to pick the ace of hearts?"
"Hold it tightly," he warned her.
"Hold it tightly," he warned her.
She clutched it in her pretty fingers.
She held it tightly in her delicate fingers.
"Are you sure you hold it?" he asked.
"Are you sure you have it?" he asked.
"Perfectly."
Perfect.
"Look!"
"Check it out!"
She looked and found that it was the queen of diamonds she held so tightly; but, looking again to reassure herself, she was astonished to find that the card was the jack of clubs. "Tear it up," he said. She tore it into small pieces.
She looked and saw that she was holding the queen of diamonds tightly; but when she looked again to reassure herself, she was shocked to find that it was the jack of clubs. "Tear it up," he said. She ripped it into small pieces.
"Throw them into the air!"
"Throw them in the air!"
She obeyed, and almost cried out to see them take fire in mid-air and float away in ashy flakes.
She complied, and nearly screamed as she watched them ignite in the air and drift away in ash-like flakes.
Face flushed, eyes brilliant, she turned to him, hanging on his every movement, every expression.
Face flushed, eyes sparkling, she turned to him, hanging on his every move, every expression.
Before her rapt eyes the multicolored mice danced jigs on slack wires, then were carefully rolled up into little balls of paper which immediately began to swell until each was as big as a football. These burst open, and out of each football of white paper came kittens, turtles, snakes, chickens, ducks, and finally two white rabbits with silly pink eyes that began gravely waltzing round and round the room.
Before her captivated eyes, the colorful mice danced jigs on loose wires, then were carefully rolled into little balls of paper that quickly began to swell until each was as big as a football. These burst open, and from each football of white paper came kittens, turtles, snakes, chickens, ducks, and finally two white rabbits with goofy pink eyes that started gravely waltzing around the room.
"Please stand up and shake your skirts," he said.
"Please stand up and shake your skirts," he said.
She rose hastily and obeyed; a rain of silver coins fell, then gold, then banknotes, littering the floor. Then precious stones began to drop about her; she shook them from her hair, her collar, her neck; she clenched her hands in nervous amazement, but inside each tight little fist she felt something, and opening her fingers she fairly showered the floor with diamonds.
She quickly got up and followed the command; a shower of silver coins fell, then gold, then banknotes, scattered across the floor. Then precious stones started to fall around her; she shook them out of her hair, her collar, her neck; she clenched her hands in anxious surprise, but inside each tight little fist she felt something, and when she opened her fingers, diamonds rained down on the floor.
"Can't you save one for me?" he asked. "I really need it." But when again she looked for the glittering heap at her feet, it was gone; and, search as she might, not one coin, not one gem remained.
"Can’t you save one for me?" he asked. "I really need it." But when she looked for the sparkling pile at her feet again, it was gone; and no matter how much she searched, not a single coin or gem was left.
Glancing up in dismay she found herself in a perfect storm of white butterflies--no, they were red--no, green!
Glancing up in shock, she realized she was surrounded by a whirlwind of white butterflies—wait, they were red—no, green!
"Is there anything in this world you desire?" he asked her.
"Is there anything in this world that you want?" he asked her.
"A--a glass of water----"
"A glass of water."
She was already holding it in her hands, and she cried out in amazement, spilling the brimming glass; but no water fell, only a rain of little crimson flames.
She was already holding it in her hands, and she shouted in surprise, spilling the full glass; but no water fell, only a shower of tiny crimson flames.
"I can't--can't drink this--can I?" she faltered.
"I can't—can’t drink this—can I?" she hesitated.
"With perfect safety," he smiled, and she tasted it.
"With total safety," he smiled, and she experienced it.
"Taste it again," he said.
"Taste it again," he said.
She tried it; it was lemonade.
She tried it; it was lemonade.
"Again."
"Once more."
It was ginger ale.
It was ginger ale.
"Once more."
"One more time."
She stared at the glass, frothing with ice-cream soda; there was a long silver spoon in it, too.
She looked at the glass filled with ice cream soda; there was a long silver spoon in it as well.
Enchanted, she lay back, savoring her ice, shyly watching him.
Enchanted, she leaned back, enjoying her ice, and shyly watched him.
He went on gayly doing uncanny or charming things; her eyes were tired, dazzled, but not too weary to watch him, though she scarcely followed the marvelous objects that appeared and vanished and glittered and flamed under his ceaselessly busy hands.
He kept cheerfully doing strange or delightful things; her eyes were tired, dazzled, but not too exhausted to watch him, even though she barely kept up with the amazing things that materialized and disappeared and sparkled and glowed under his constantly busy hands.
She did notice with a shudder the appearance of an owl that sat for a while on his shoulder and then turned into a big fur muff which was all right as long as he held it, but walked away on four legs when he tossed it to the floor.
She noticed with a shiver the appearance of an owl that perched for a bit on his shoulder and then transformed into a large fur muff, which was fine as long as he held onto it, but it walked away on four legs when he dropped it on the floor.
A shower of brilliant things followed like shooting stars; two or three rose trees grew, budded, and bloomed before her eyes; and he laid the fresh, sweet blossoms in her hands. They turned to violets later, but that did not matter; nothing mattered any longer as long as she could lie there and gaze at him--the most splendid man her maiden eyes had ever unclosed upon.
A shower of bright things followed like shooting stars; two or three rose bushes grew, budded, and bloomed right in front of her; and he placed the fresh, sweet flowers in her hands. They turned into violets later, but that didn’t matter; nothing mattered anymore as long as she could lie there and look at him—the most wonderful man her eyes had ever seen.
About two thousand yards of brilliant ribbons suddenly fell from the ceiling; she looked at him with something perilously close to a sigh. Out of an old hat he produced a cage full of parrots; every parrot repeated her first name decorously, monotonously, until packed back into the hat and stuffed into a box which was then set on fire.
About two thousand yards of bright ribbons suddenly dropped from the ceiling; she looked at him with something almost like a sigh. He pulled a cage full of parrots out of an old hat; each parrot repeated her first name in a proper, monotone way until they were packed back into the hat and shoved into a box that was then set on fire.
Her heart was pretty full now; for she was only eighteen and she had been considering his poverty. So when in due time the box burned out and from the black and charred débris the parrots stepped triumphantly forth, gravely repeating her name in unison; and when she saw that the entertainment was at an end, she rose, setting her ice-cream soda upon a table, and, although the glass instantly changed into a teapot, she walked straight up to him and held out her hand.
Her heart was really full now; she was only eighteen and had been thinking about his struggles with money. So when the box eventually burned out and the parrots stepped out triumphantly from the blackened wreckage, repeating her name in unison with seriousness; and when she realized that the show was over, she stood up, placing her ice cream soda on a table, and even though the glass instantly turned into a teapot, she walked right up to him and extended her hand.
"I've had a perfectly lovely time," she said. "And I want to say to you that I have been thinking of several things, and one is that it is perfectly ridiculous for you to be poor."
"I've had a wonderful time," she said. "And I want to let you know that I've been thinking about a few things, and one of them is that it's totally ridiculous for you to be poor."
"It is rather ridiculous," he admitted, surprised. "Isn't it! And no need of it at all. Your father made a fortune for my father. All you have to do is to let my father make a fortune for you."
"It’s pretty ridiculous," he said, surprised. "Isn’t it! And it’s completely unnecessary. Your dad made a fortune for my dad. All you have to do is let my dad make a fortune for you."
"Is that all?" he asked, laughing.
"Is that it?" he asked, laughing.
"Of course. Why did you not tell him so? Have you seen him?"
"Of course. Why didn't you tell him that? Have you seen him?"
"No," he said gravely.
"No," he said seriously.
"Why not?"
"Why not?"
"I saw others--I did not care to try--any more--friends."
"I saw others—I didn’t want to try—anymore—friends."
"Will you--now?"
"Will you—now?"
He shook his head.
He shook his head.
"Then I will."
"Then I will."
"Please don't," he said quietly. Her hand still lay in his; she looked up at him; her eyes were starry bright and a little moist.
"Please don't," he said softly. Her hand was still in his; she looked up at him; her eyes were bright like stars and slightly wet.
"I simply can't stand this," she said, steadying her voice.
"I just can't take this anymore," she said, controlling her voice.
"What?"
"What?"
"Your--your distress--" She choked; her sensitive mouth trembled.
"Your—your distress—" She struggled to speak; her delicate lips quivered.
"Good Heavens!" he breathed; "do you care!"
"Wow!" he exclaimed; "do you really care!"
"Care--care," she stammered. "You saved my life with a laugh! You face st-starvation with a laugh! Your father made mine! Care? Yes, I care!"
"Care—care," she stammered. "You saved my life with a laugh! You’re facing starvation with a laugh! Your dad did that to mine! Care? Yes, I care!"
But she had bent her head; a bright tear fell, spangling his polished shoes; the pulsating seconds passed; he laid his other hand above both of hers which he held, and stood silent, stunned, scarcely daring to understand.
But she had lowered her head; a bright tear fell, sparkling on his polished shoes; the seconds ticked by; he placed his other hand over both of hers that he was holding and stood there silently, stunned, barely daring to comprehend.
Nor was it here he could understand or even hope--his instinct held him stupid and silent. Presently he released her hands.
Nor could he understand or even hope here--his instinct kept him dumb and quiet. Soon, he let go of her hands.
She said "Good-by" calmly enough; he followed her to the door and opened it, watching her pass through the hall to her own door. And there she paused and looked back; and he found himself beside her again.
She said "Goodbye" calmly enough; he followed her to the door and opened it, watching her walk through the hall to her own door. There, she paused and looked back; and he found himself beside her again.
"Only," she began, "only don't do all those beautiful magic things for any--anybody else--will you? I wish to have--have them all for myself--to share them with no one----"
"Just," she started, "just don’t do all those amazing magic things for anyone else—okay? I want to keep them all to myself—to not share them with anyone----"
He held her hands imprisoned again. "I will never do one of those things for anybody but you," he said unsteadily.
He held her hands captive again. "I'll never do any of those things for anyone but you," he said shakily.
"Truly?" Her face caught fire.
"Seriously?" Her face turned red.
"Yes, truly."
"Yes, really."
"But how--how, then, can you--can----"
"But how—how can you—can—"
"I don't care what happens to me!" he said. To look at him nobody would have thought him young enough to say that sort of thing.
"I don't care what happens to me!" he said. At first glance, you wouldn't think he was young enough to say something like that.
"I care," she said, releasing her hands and stepping back into her studio.
"I care," she said, letting go of her hands and stepping back into her studio.
For a moment her lovely, daring face swam before his eyes; then, in the next moment, she was in his arms, crying her eyes out against his shoulder, his lips pressed to her bright hair.
For a moment, her beautiful, bold face appeared in front of him; then, in the next moment, she was in his arms, crying her heart out against his shoulder, his lips touching her shiny hair.
And that was all right in its way, too; madder things have happened in our times; but nothing madder ever happened than a large, bald gentleman who came up the stairs in a series of bounces and planted his legs apart and tightened his pudgy grip upon his malacca walking stick, and confronted them with distended eyes and waistband.
And that was fine in its own way; crazier things have happened in our time; but nothing crazier ever occurred than a large, bald guy who bounced up the stairs, stood with his legs apart, tightened his pudgy grip on his malacca walking stick, and faced them with wide eyes and a stretched waistband.
In vigorous but incoherent English he begged to know whether this scene was part of an education in art.
In energetic but jumbled English, he asked if this scene was part of learning about art.
"Papah," she said calmly, "you are just in time. Go into the studio and I'll come in one moment."
"Papah," she said calmly, "you made it just in time. Head into the studio and I'll be there in a moment."
Then giving her lover both hands and looking at him with all her soul in her young eyes: "I love you; I'll marry you. And if there's trouble"--she smiled upon her frantic father--"if there is trouble I will follow you about the country exhibiting green mice----"
Then giving her lover both hands and looking at him with all her heart in her young eyes: "I love you; I'll marry you. And if there's trouble"--she smiled at her frantic father--"if there's trouble, I will follow you around the country showing green mice----"
"What!" thundered her father.
"What!" her father shouted.
"Green mice," she repeated with an adorable smile at her lover--"unless my father finds a necessity for you in his business--with a view to partnership. And I'm going to let you arrange that together. Good-by."
"Green mice," she said again with a charming smile at her partner—"unless my dad sees a need for you in his business—with the idea of partnership. And I'm going to let you two work that out together. Bye."
And she entered her studio, closing the door behind her, leaving the two men confronting one another in the entry.
And she walked into her studio, shutting the door behind her, leaving the two men facing each other in the entry.
For one so young she had much wisdom and excellent taste; and listening, she heard her father explode in one lusty Saxon word. He always said it when beaten; it was the beginning of the end, and the end of the sweetest beginning that ever dawned on earth for a maid since the first sunbeam stole into Eden.
For someone so young, she had a lot of wisdom and great taste; and while listening, she heard her father let out a loud exclamation in a strong Saxon word. He always said it when he was defeated; it marked the start of the end, and the end of the sweetest beginning that ever shone on the earth for a girl since the first sunlight broke into Eden.
So she sat down on her little camp stool before her easel and picked up a hand glass; and, sitting there, carefully removed all traces of tears from her wet and lovely eyes with the cambric hem of her painting apron.
So she perched on her little camping stool in front of her easel and grabbed a handheld mirror; and, sitting there, she gently wiped away any traces of tears from her wet and beautiful eyes with the fabric hem of her painting apron.
"Damnation!" repeated Mr. Carr, "am I to understand that the only thing you can do for a living is to go about with a troupe of trained mice?"
"Damn it!" Mr. Carr said again, "Are you telling me that the only way you make a living is by traveling around with a group of trained mice?"
"I've invented a machine," observed the young man, modestly. "It ought to be worth millions--if you'd care to finance it."
"I've created a machine," the young man noted modestly. "It should be worth millions—if you’re interested in financing it."
"The idea is utterly repugnant to me!" shouted her father.
"The idea is completely disgusting to me!" shouted her father.
The young man reddened. "If you wouldn't mind examining it--" He drew from his pocket a small, delicately contrived bit of clockwork. "This is the machine----"
The young man blushed. "If you could take a look at this--" He pulled out a small, intricately designed piece of clockwork from his pocket. "This is the machine----"
"I don't want to see it!"
"I don't want to see it!"
"You have seen it. Do you mind sitting down a moment? Be careful of that kitten! Kindly take this chair. Thank you. Now, if you would be good enough to listen for ten minutes----"
"You have seen it. Could you please sit down for a moment? Watch out for that kitten! Please take this chair. Thank you. Now, if you could listen for ten minutes----"
"I don't want to be good enough! Do you hear!"
"I don't want to be just good enough! Do you hear me!"
"Yes, I hear," said young Destyn, patiently. "And as I was going to explain, the earth is circumscribed by wireless currents of electricity----"
"Yes, I hear," said young Destyn, patiently. "And as I was about to explain, the earth is surrounded by wireless electric currents----"
"I--dammit, sir----"
"I—damn it, sir—"
"But those are not the only invisible currents that are ceaselessly flowing around our globe!" pursued the young man, calmly. "Do you see this machine?"
"But those aren't the only invisible currents that are constantly flowing around our world!" continued the young man, calmly. "Do you see this machine?"
"No, I don't!" snarled the other.
"No, I don't!" snapped the other.
"Then--" And, leaning closer, William Augustus Destyn whispered into Bushwyck Carr's fat, red ear.
"Then--" And, leaning in closer, William Augustus Destyn whispered into Bushwyck Carr's chubby, red ear.
"What!!!"
"What?!"
"Certainly."
"Of course."
"You can't prove it!"
"You can't prove it!"
"Watch me."
"Check this out."
Ethelinda had dried her eyes. Every few minutes she glanced anxiously at the little French clock over her easel.
Ethelinda had dried her eyes. Every few minutes, she checked the little French clock above her easel with concern.
"What on earth can they be doing?" she murmured. And when the long hour struck she arose with resolution and knocked at the door.
"What on earth are they doing?" she murmured. And when the long hour struck, she stood up with determination and knocked on the door.
"Come in," said her father, irritably, "but don't interrupt. William and I are engaged in a very important business transaction."
"Come in," her father said, annoyed, "but don't interrupt. William and I are in the middle of a very important business deal."
V
SACHARISSA
Treating of Certain Scientific Events Succeeding the Wedding Journey of William and Ethelinda
Discussing Some Scientific Events After the Honeymoon of William and Ethelinda
Sacharissa took the chair. She knew nothing about parliamentary procedure; neither did her younger, married sister, Ethelinda, nor the recently acquired family brother-in-law, William Augustus Destyn.
Sacharissa sat down. She didn’t know anything about parliamentary procedure; neither did her younger married sister, Ethelinda, nor her newly acquired brother-in-law, William Augustus Destyn.
"The meeting will come to order," said Sacharissa, and her brother-in-law reluctantly relinquished his new wife's hand--all but one finger.
"The meeting will begin," said Sacharissa, and her brother-in-law reluctantly let go of his new wife's hand—except for one finger.
"Miss Chairman," he began, rising to his feet.
"Chair," he started, standing up.
The chair recognized him and bit into a chocolate.
The chair acknowledged him and took a bite of chocolate.
"I move that our society be known as The Green Mouse, Limited."
"I propose that our organization be called The Green Mouse, Limited."
"Why limited?" asked Sacharissa.
"Why limited?" Sacharissa asked.
"Why not?" replied her sister, warmly.
"Why not?" replied her sister, with enthusiasm.
"Well, what does your young man mean by limited?"
"Well, what does your guy mean by limited?"
"I suppose," said Linda, "that he means it is to be the limit. Don't you, William?"
"I guess," said Linda, "that he means it's supposed to be the limit. Don't you, William?"
"Certainly," said Destyn, gravely; and the motion was put and carried.
"Of course," said Destyn seriously; and the motion was made and approved.
"Rissa, dear!"
"Hey, Rissa!"
The chair casually recognized her younger sister.
The chair casually acknowledged her younger sister.
"I propose that the object of this society be to make its members very, very wealthy."
"I suggest that the goal of this society is to make its members extremely wealthy."
The motion was carried; Linda picked up a scrap of paper and began to figure up the possibility of a new touring car.
The motion passed; Linda grabbed a piece of paper and started to calculate the potential for a new touring car.
Then Destyn arose; the chair nodded to him and leaned back, playing a tattoo with her pencil tip against her snowy teeth.
Then Destyn got up; the chair acknowledged him and leaned back, tapping her pencil against her white teeth.
He began in his easy, agreeable voice, looking across at his pretty wife:
He started in his relaxed, friendly tone, glancing over at his attractive wife:
"You know, dearest--and Sacharissa, over there, is also aware--that, in the course of my economical experiments in connection with your father's Wireless Trust, I have accidentally discovered how to utilize certain brand-new currents of an extraordinary character."
"You know, my dear—and Sacharissa over there knows too—that during my budget experiments related to your father's Wireless Trust, I accidentally figured out how to use some brand-new, extraordinary currents."
Sacharissa's expression became skeptical; Linda watched her husband in unfeigned admiration.
Sacharissa looked skeptical; Linda watched her husband with genuine admiration.
"These new and hitherto unsuspected currents," continued Destyn modestly, "are not electrical but psychical. Yet, like wireless currents, their flow eternally encircles the earth. These currents, I believe, have their origin in that great unknown force which, for lack of a better name, we call fate, or predestination. And I am convinced that by intercepting one of these currents it is possible to connect the subconscious personalities of two people of opposite sex who, although ultimately destined for one another since the beginning of things, have, through successive incarnations, hitherto missed the final consummation-- marriage!--which was the purpose of their creation."
"These new and previously unknown currents," continued Destyn modestly, "aren't electrical but psychological. However, like wireless signals, they continuously flow around the earth. I believe these currents originate from that great unknown force we call fate or predestination. I'm convinced that by tapping into one of these currents, it's possible to connect the subconscious identities of two people of opposite sexes who, although meant to be together since the beginning, have missed their final union—marriage!—through successive lifetimes, which was the purpose of their creation."
"Bill, dear," sighed Linda, "how exquisitely you explain the infinite."
"Bill, honey," sighed Linda, "you explain the infinite so beautifully."
"Fudge!" said Sacharissa; "go on, William."
"Fudge!" Sacharissa said. "Keep going, William."
"That's all," said Destyn. "We agreed to put in a thousand dollars apiece for me to experiment with. I've perfected the instrument--here it is."
"That's it," said Destyn. "We agreed to chip in a thousand dollars each for me to try out. I've perfected the instrument—here it is."
He drew from his waistcoat pocket a small, flat jeweler's case and took out a delicate machine resembling the complicated interior of a watch.
He pulled a small, flat jewelry box from his waistcoat pocket and took out a delicate gadget that looked like the intricate workings of a watch.
"Now," he said, "with this tiny machine concealed in my waistcoat pocket, I walk up to any man and, by turning a screw like the stem of a watch, open the microscopical receiver. Into the receiver flow all psychical emanations from that unsuspicious citizen. The machine is charged, positively. Then I saunter up to some man, place the instrument on a table--like that--touch a lever. Do you see that hair wire of Rosium uncoil like a tentacle? It is searching, groping for the invisible, negative, psychical current which will carry its message."
"Now," he said, "with this tiny machine hidden in my waistcoat pocket, I walk up to any guy and, by turning a screw like the stem of a watch, I open the microscopic receiver. All the mental energies from that unsuspecting person flow into the receiver. The machine is positively charged. Then I casually approach someone, put the device on a table—just like that—and touch a lever. Do you see that hair wire of Rosium unravel like a tentacle? It’s searching, groping for the invisible, negative, mental current that will carry its message."
"To whom?" asked Sacharissa.
"To whom?" Sacharissa asked.
"To the subconscious personality of the only woman for whom he was created, the only woman on earth whose psychic personality is properly attuned to intercept that wireless greeting and respond to it."
"To the subconscious self of the only woman he was made for, the only woman on earth whose psychic vibe is perfectly in sync to catch that silent call and reply to it."
"How can you tell whether she responds?" asked Sacharissa, incredulously. He pointed to the hair wire of Rosium:
"How can you tell if she responds?" asked Sacharissa, incredulously. He pointed to the hair wire of Rosium:
"I watch that. The instant that the psychical current reaches and awakens her, crack!--a minute point of blue incandescence tips the tentacle. It's done; psychical communication is established. And that man and that woman, wherever they may be on earth, surely, inexorably, will be drawn together, even from the uttermost corners of the world, to fulfill that for which they were destined since time began."
"I watch that. The moment the psychic energy connects and awakens her, crack!--a tiny point of blue light glows at the tip of the tentacle. It's done; psychic communication is established. And that man and woman, no matter where they are on earth, will definitely, unavoidably, be drawn together, even from the farthest corners of the world, to fulfill what they were meant to do since the beginning of time."
There was a semirespectful silence; Linda looked at the little jewel-like machine with a slight shudder; Sacharissa shrugged her young shoulders.
There was a semi-respectful silence; Linda glanced at the small jewel-like machine with a slight shiver; Sacharissa shrugged her young shoulders.
"How much of this," said she, "is theory and how much is fact?--for, William, you always were something of a poet."
"How much of this," she said, "is theory and how much is fact? Because, William, you’ve always been a bit of a poet."
"I don't know. A month ago I tried it on your father's footman, and in a week he'd married a perfectly strange parlor maid."
"I don't know. A month ago, I tried it on your father's footman, and within a week he had married a complete stranger who worked as a parlor maid."
"Oh, they do such things, anyway," observed Sacharissa, and added, unconvinced: "Did that tentacle burn blue?"
"Oh, they do that sort of thing," Sacharissa said, still not convinced. "Did that tentacle really burn blue?"
"It certainly did," said Destyn.
"It definitely did," said Destyn.
Linda murmured: "I believe in it. Let's issue stock."
Linda said softly, "I believe in it. Let's sell some stock."
"To issue stock is one thing," said Destyn, "to get people to buy it is another. You and I may believe in Green Mouse, Limited, but the rest of the world is always from beyond the Mississippi."
"To issue stock is one thing," said Destyn, "but getting people to buy it is something else. You and I might have faith in Green Mouse, Limited, but the rest of the world is always far away beyond the Mississippi."
"The thing to do," said Linda, "is to prove your theory by practicing on people. They may not like the idea, but they'll be so grateful, when happily and unexpectedly married, that they'll buy stock."
"The thing to do," said Linda, "is to prove your theory by practicing on people. They might not like the idea, but they'll be so grateful when they end up happily and unexpectedly married that they'll invest in stock."
"Or give us testimonials," added Sacharissa, "that their bliss was entirely due to a single dose of Green Mouse, Limited."
"Or give us testimonials," added Sacharissa, "that their happiness was completely due to just one dose of Green Mouse, Limited."
"Don't be flippant," said Linda. "Think what William's invention means to the world! Think of the time it will save young men barking up wrong trees! Think of the trouble saved--no more doubt, no timidity, no hesitation, no speculation, no opposition from parents."
"Don't be casual about this," Linda said. "Consider what William's invention means for the world! Think about how much time it will save young men from pursuing the wrong leads! Think of all the trouble it saves—no more doubt, no fear, no hesitation, no guessing, no resistance from parents."
"Any of our clients," added Destyn, "can be instantly switched on to a private psychical current which will clinch the only girl in the world. Engagements will be superfluous; those two simply can't get away from each other."
"Any of our clients," Destyn said, "can be quickly connected to a private psychic energy that will secure the only girl in the world. Engagements will be unnecessary; those two just can’t stay away from each other."
"If that were true," observed Sacharissa, "it would be most unpleasant. There would be no fun in it. However," she added, smiling, "I don't believe in your theory or your machine, William. It would take more than that combination to make me marry anybody."
"If that were true," Sacharissa said, "it would be really annoying. There wouldn't be any fun in it. However," she added with a smile, "I don't believe in your theory or your machine, William. It would take more than that to convince me to marry anyone."
"Then we're not going to issue stock?" asked Linda. "I do need so many new and expensive things."
"Then we're not going to issue stock?" Linda asked. "I really need a lot of new and expensive things."
"We've got to experiment a little further, first," said Destyn.
"We need to do a bit more experimenting first," said Destyn.
Sacharissa laughed: "You blindfold me, give me a pencil and lay the Social Register before me. Whatever name I mark you are to experiment with."
Sacharissa laughed: "You blindfold me, give me a pencil, and put the Social Register in front of me. Whatever name I circle, you have to try it out."
"Don't mark any of our friends," began Linda.
"Don't label any of our friends," started Linda.
"How can I tell whom I may choose. It's fair for everybody. Come; do you promise to abide by it--you two?"
"How can I decide who to choose? It's fair for everyone. Come on; do you both promise to go along with it?"
They promised doubtfully.
They hesitantly promised.
"So do I, then," said Sacharissa. "Hurry up and blindfold me, somebody. The bus will be here in half an hour, and you know how father acts when kept waiting."
"So do I, then," said Sacharissa. "Hurry up and blindfold me, someone. The bus will be here in half an hour, and you know how Dad gets when he's kept waiting."
Linda tied her eyes with a handkerchief, gave her a pencil and seated herself on an arm of the chair watching the pencil hovering over the pages of the Social Register which her sister was turning at hazard.
Linda blindfolded herself with a handkerchief, handed her a pencil, and perched on the arm of the chair, watching the pencil float over the pages of the Social Register that her sister was flipping through randomly.
"This page," announced Sacharissa, "and this name!" marking it with a quick stroke.
"This page," Sacharissa said, "and this name!" as she marked it with a quick stroke.
Linda gave a stifled cry and attempted to arrest the pencil; but the moving finger had written.
Linda let out a muffled gasp and tried to stop the pencil; but the moving finger had already written.
"Whom have I selected?" inquired the girl, whisking the handkerchief from her eyes. "What are you having a fit about, Linda?"
"Who did I choose?" the girl asked, wiping the tears from her eyes. "What's got you so worked up, Linda?"
And, looking at the page, she saw that she had marked her own name.
And, looking at the page, she noticed that she had highlighted her own name.
"We must try it again," said Destyn, hastily. "That doesn't count. Tie her up, Linda."
"We need to try it again," Destyn said quickly. "That doesn't count. Tie her up, Linda."
"But--that wouldn't be fair," said Sacharissa, hesitating whether to take it seriously or laugh. "We all promised, you know. I ought to abide by what I've done."
"But that wouldn't be fair," Sacharissa said, unsure whether to take it seriously or laugh. "We all promised, you know. I should stick to what I've committed to."
"Don't be silly," said Linda, preparing the handkerchief and laying it across her sister's forehead.
"Don't be ridiculous," said Linda, getting the handkerchief ready and placing it across her sister's forehead.
Sacharissa pushed it away. "I can't break my word, even to myself," she said, laughing. "I'm not afraid of that machine."
Sacharissa pushed it away. "I can't go back on my word, even to myself," she said, laughing. "I'm not scared of that machine."
"Do you mean to say you are willing to take silly chances?" asked Linda, uneasily. "I believe in William's machine whether you do or not. And I don't care to have any of the family experimented with."
"Are you really saying you're okay with taking dumb risks?" Linda asked nervously. "I believe in William's machine whether you do or not. And I really don't want any of the family to be experimented on."
"If I were willing to try it on others it would be cowardly for me to back out now," said Sacharissa, forcing a smile; for Destyn's and Linda's seriousness was beginning to make her a trifle uncomfortable.
"If I were willing to try it on others, it would be cowardly for me to back out now," said Sacharissa, forcing a smile; Destyn's and Linda's seriousness was starting to make her feel a bit uncomfortable.
"Unless you want to marry somebody pretty soon you'd better not risk it," said Destyn, gravely.
"Unless you plan on getting married to someone pretty soon, you better not take that chance," Destyn said seriously.
"You--you don't particularly care to marry anybody, just now, do you, dear?" asked Linda. "No," replied her sister, scornfully.
"You--you don't really want to marry anyone right now, do you, dear?" asked Linda. "No," replied her sister, disdainfully.
There was a silence; Sacharissa, uneasy, bit her underlip and sat looking at the uncanny machine.
There was silence; Sacharissa, feeling uneasy, bit her lip and sat staring at the strange machine.
She was a tall girl, prettily formed, one of those girls with long limbs, narrow, delicate feet and ankles.
She was a tall girl, beautifully shaped, one of those girls with long limbs, slender, delicate feet and ankles.
That sort of girl, when she also possesses a mass of chestnut hair, a sweet mouth and gray eyes, is calculated to cause trouble.
That kind of girl, especially when she has a lot of chestnut hair, a sweet smile, and gray eyes, is bound to stir up trouble.
And there she sat, one knee crossed over the other, slim foot swinging, perplexed brows bent slightly inward.
And there she sat, one knee crossed over the other, her slim foot swinging, with slightly furrowed brows.
"I can't see any honorable way out of it," she said resolutely. "I said I'd abide by the blindfolded test."
"I can’t find any honorable way out of this," she said firmly. "I promised I’d stick to the blindfolded test."
"When we promised we weren't thinking of ourselves," insisted Ethelinda.
"When we promised, we weren't thinking about ourselves," Ethelinda insisted.
"That doesn't release us," retorted her Puritan sister.
"That doesn't let us off the hook," her Puritan sister shot back.
"Why?" demanded Linda. "Suppose, for example, your pencil had marked William's name! That would have been im--immoral!"
"Why?" Linda asked. "What if, for instance, your pencil had written down William's name? That would have been im--immoral!"
"Would it?" asked Sacharissa, turning her honest, gray eyes on her brother-in-law.
"Would it?" Sacharissa asked, looking her brother-in-law in the eye with her sincere gray eyes.
"I don't believe it would," he said; "I'd only be switched on to Linda's current again." And he smiled at his wife.
"I don't think it would," he said; "I'd just end up connecting with Linda's vibe again." And he smiled at his wife.
Sacharissa sat thoughtful and serious, swinging her foot.
Sacharissa sat, deep in thought and serious, swinging her foot.
"Well," she said, at length, "I might as well face it at once. If there's anything in this instrument we'll all know it pretty soon. Turn on your receiver, Billy."
"Well," she said after a moment, "I might as well deal with it right now. If there's anything in this device, we'll find out soon enough. Turn on your receiver, Billy."
"Oh," cried Linda, tearfully, "don't you do it, William!"
"Oh," cried Linda, tearfully, "please don't do it, William!"
"Turn it on," repeated Sacharissa. "I'm not going to be a coward and break faith with myself, and you both know it! If I've got to go through the silliness of love and marriage I might as well know who the bandarlog is to be.... Anyway, I don't really believe in this thing.... I can't believe in it.... Besides, I've a mind and a will of my own, and I fancy it will require more than amateur psychical experiments to change either. Go on, Billy."
"Turn it on," Sacharissa said again. "I'm not going to be a coward and go against my own beliefs, and you both know it! If I have to deal with the nonsense of love and marriage, I might as well find out who the bandarlog is going to be... Anyway, I don’t really believe in this whole thing... I can't believe in it... Plus, I have my own mind and will, and I think it will take more than amateur psychic experiments to change either of those. Go ahead, Billy."
"You mean it?" he asked, secretly gratified.
"You really mean it?" he asked, feeling secretly pleased.
"Certainly," with superb affectation of indifference. And she rose and faced the instrument.
"Sure," she said, with an obvious attempt to sound indifferent. Then she stood up and turned to the instrument.
Destyn looked at his wife. He was dying to try it.
Destyn looked at his wife. He really wanted to give it a shot.
"Will!" she exclaimed, "suppose we are not going to like Rissa's possible f--fiance! Suppose father doesn't like him!"
"Will!" she exclaimed, "what if we don't like Rissa's possible fiancé? What if Dad doesn't like him?"
"You'll all probably like him as well as I shall," said her sister defiantly. "Willy, stop making frightened eyes at your wife and start your infernal machine!"
"You'll probably all like him just as much as I do," her sister said boldly. "Willy, stop looking scared at your wife and start your damn machine!"
There was a vicious click, a glitter of shifting clockwork, a snap, and it was done.
There was a harsh click, a shimmer of moving gears, a snap, and it was over.
"Have you now, theoretically, got my psychical current bottled up?" she asked disdainfully. But her lip trembled a little.
"Do you now, theoretically, have my psychic energy contained?" she asked with a hint of contempt. But her lip quivered slightly.
He nodded, looking very seriously at her.
He nodded, looking at her with a serious expression.
"And now you are going to switch me on to this unknown gentleman's psychical current?"
"And now you are going to connect me to this unknown guy's psychic energy?"
"Don't let him!" begged Linda. "Billy, dear, how can you when nobody has the faintest idea who the creature may turn out to be!"
"Don't let him!" begged Linda. "Billy, sweetheart, how can you when nobody has any clue who this creature might actually be!"
"Go ahead!" interrupted her sister, masking misgiving under a careless smile.
"Go ahead!" her sister interrupted, hiding her doubts behind a casual smile.
Click! Up shot the glittering, quivering tentacle of Rosium, vibrating for a few moments like a thread of silver. Suddenly it was tipped with a blue flash of incandescence.
Click! Up shot the sparkling, trembling tentacle of Rosium, vibrating for a few moments like a strand of silver. Suddenly it was tipped with a blue burst of light.
"Oh, dear! Oh, dear! There he is!" cried Linda, excitedly. "Rissy! Rissy, little sister, what have you done?"
"Oh no! Oh no! There he is!" shouted Linda, excitedly. "Rissy! Rissy, little sister, what have you done?"
"Nothing," she said, catching her breath. "I don't believe that flash means anything. I don't feel a bit different--not the least bit. I feel perfectly well and perfectly calm. I don't love anybody and I'm not going to love anybody--until I want to, and that will probably never happen."
"Nothing," she said, catching her breath. "I don't think that flash means anything. I don’t feel any different—not at all. I feel totally fine and completely calm. I don’t love anyone and I'm not going to love anyone—until I choose to, and that probably won't ever happen."
However, she permitted her sister to take her in her arms and pet her. It was rather curious how exceedingly young and inexperienced she felt. She found it agreeable to be fussed over and comforted and cradled, and for a few moments she suffered Linda's solicitude and misgivings in silence. After a while, however, she became ashamed.
However, she allowed her sister to hold her and stroke her hair. It was quite strange how incredibly young and inexperienced she felt. She enjoyed being cared for, comforted, and held, and for a few moments, she accepted Linda's concern and worries in silence. After a while, though, she felt embarrassed.
"Nothing is going to happen, Linda," she said, looking dreamily up at the ceiling; "don't worry, dear; I shall escape the bandarlog."
"Nothing is going to happen, Linda," she said, gazing dreamily up at the ceiling; "don't worry, dear; I'll escape the bandarlog."
"If something doesn't happen," observed Destyn, pocketing his instrument, "the Green Mouse, Limited, will go into liquidation with no liabilities and no assets, and there'll be no billions for you or for me or for anybody."
"If something doesn't happen," Destyn noted, putting away his instrument, "the Green Mouse, Limited, will go bankrupt with no debts and no assets, and there won't be any billions for you, me, or anyone else."
"William," said his wife, "do you place a low desire for money before your own sister-in-law's spiritual happiness?"
"William," his wife said, "do you prioritize your desire for money over your own sister-in-law's spiritual happiness?"
"No, darling, of course not."
"No, sweetheart, of course not."
"Then you and I had better pray for the immediate bankruptcy of the Green Mouse."
"Then you and I should probably pray for the quick bankruptcy of the Green Mouse."
Her husband said, "By all means," without enthusiasm, and looked out of the window. "Still," he added, "I made a happy marriage. I'm for wedding bells every time. Sacharissa will like it, too. I don't know why you and I shouldn't be enthusiastic optimists concerning wedded life; I can't see why we shouldn't pray for Sacharissa's early marriage."
Her husband said, "Sure," without any excitement, and stared out the window. "Still," he continued, "I had a great marriage. I'm all for wedding bells anytime. Sacharissa will like it, too. I don't see why we shouldn't be enthusiastic optimists about married life; I can't understand why we shouldn't hope for Sacharissa's quick marriage."
"William!"
"Will!"
"Yes, darling."
"Yes, babe."
"You are considering money before my sister's happiness!"
"You are prioritizing money over my sister's happiness!"
"But in her case I don't see why we can't conscientiously consider both."
"But in her case, I don't see why we can't thoughtfully consider both."
Linda cast one tragic glance at her material husband, pushed her sister aside, arose and fled. After her sped the contrite Destyn; a distant door shut noisily; all the elements had gathered for the happy, first quarrel of the newly wedded.
Linda threw one last heartbreaking look at her dull husband, pushed her sister away, got up, and ran off. Following her was the remorseful Destyn; a door slammed loudly in the distance; everything had come together for the joyful, first argument of the newlyweds.
"Fudge," said Sacharissa, walking to the window, slim hands clasped loosely behind her back.
"Fudge," Sacharissa said, walking to the window, her slim hands casually clasped behind her back.
VI
IN WRONG
Wherein Sacharissa Remains In and a Young Man Can't Get Out
Where Sacharissa Stays In and a Young Man Can't Escape
The snowstorm had ceased; across Fifth Avenue the Park resembled the mica-incrusted view on an expensive Christmas card. Every limb, branch, and twig was outlined in clinging snow; crystals of it glittered under the morning sun; brilliantly dressed children, with sleds, romped and played over the dazzling expanse. Overhead the characteristic deep blue arch of a New York sky spread untroubled by a cloud. Her family--that is, her father, brother-in-law, married sister, three unmarried sisters and herself--were expecting to leave for Tuxedo about noon. Why? Nobody knows why the wealthy are always going somewhere. However, they do, fortunately for story writers.
The snowstorm had stopped; across Fifth Avenue, the Park looked like a fancy Christmas card covered in glittering mica. Every limb, branch, and twig was outlined in soft snow; it sparkled under the morning sun; beautifully dressed kids with sleds were having fun playing over the bright white landscape. Above them, the classic deep blue sky of New York stretched out, clear of any clouds. Her family—her father, brother-in-law, married sister, three unmarried sisters, and herself—were getting ready to leave for Tuxedo around noon. Why? No one really understands why rich people are always heading somewhere. But they do, which is great for writers.
"It's quite as beautiful here," thought Sacharissa to herself, "as it is in the country. I'm sorry I'm going."
"It's just as beautiful here," Sacharissa thought to herself, "as it is in the countryside. I'm sad to be leaving."
Idling there by the sunny window and gazing out into the white expanse, she had already dismissed all uneasiness in her mind concerning the psychical experiment upon herself. That is to say, she had not exactly dismissed it, she used no conscious effort, it had gone of itself--or, rather, it had been crowded out, dominated by a sudden and strong disinclination to go to Tuxedo.
Idling there by the sunny window and gazing out into the white expanse, she had already pushed aside any worries about the psychological experiment on herself. To be clear, she hadn’t precisely dismissed it; she didn’t make any conscious effort to do so. It had faded away on its own—or, more accurately, it had been overwhelmed by a sudden and intense reluctance to go to Tuxedo.
As she stood there the feeling grew and persisted, and, presently, she found herself repeating aloud: "I don't want to go, I don't want to go. It's stupid to go. Why should I go when it's stupid to go and I'd rather stay here?"
As she stood there, the feeling intensified and lingered, and soon she found herself saying out loud: "I don't want to go, I don't want to go. It's dumb to go. Why should I go when it's dumb to go and I'd rather stay here?"
Meanwhile, Ethelinda and Destyn were having a classical reconciliation in a distant section of the house, and the young wife had got as far as:
Meanwhile, Ethelinda and Destyn were having a classic makeup moment in a far corner of the house, and the young wife had gotten to the point where:
"Darling, I am so worried about Rissa. I do wish she were not going to Tuxedo. There are so many attractive men expected at the Courlands'."
"Sweetheart, I’m really worried about Rissa. I really wish she wasn’t going to Tuxedo. There are so many handsome men expected at the Courlands’."
"She can't escape men anywhere, can she?"
"She can't get away from men anywhere, can she?"
"N-no; but there will be a concentration of particularly good-looking and undesirable ones at Tuxedo this week. That idle, horrid, cynical crowd is coming from Long Island, and I don't want her to marry any of them."
"N-no; but there will be a gathering of especially attractive and undesirable people at Tuxedo this week. That lazy, awful, cynical crowd is coming from Long Island, and I don't want her to marry any of them."
"Well, then, make her stay at home."
"Well, then, just keep her at home."
"She wants to go."
"She wants to go."
"What's the good of an older sister if you can't make her mind you?" he asked.
"What's the point of having an older sister if you can't get her to listen to you?" he asked.
"She won't. She's set her heart on going. All those boisterous winter sports appeal to her. Besides, how can one member of the family be absent on New Year's Day?"
"She won't. She's determined to go. All those lively winter sports really attract her. Plus, how can one person in the family be missing on New Year's Day?"
Arm in arm they strolled out into the great living room, where a large, pompous, vividly colored gentleman was laying down the law to the triplets--three very attractive young girls, dressed precisely alike, who said, "Yes, pa-pah!" and "No pa-pah!" in a grave and silvery-voiced chorus whenever filial obligation required it.
Arm in arm, they walked into the big living room, where a large, flashy, vividly dressed man was lecturing the triplets—three very pretty young girls, dressed exactly the same, who said, "Yes, pa-pah!" and "No, pa-pah!" in a serious, silvery-voiced chorus whenever it was necessary to show respect.
"And another thing," continued the pudgy and vivid old gentleman, whose voice usually ended in a softly mellifluous shout when speaking emphatically: "that worthless Westbury--Cedarhurst--Jericho-- Meadowbrook set are going to be in evidence at this housewarming, and I caution you now against paying anything but the slightest, most superficial and most frivolous attention to anything that any of those young whip-snapping, fox-hunting cubs may say to you. Do you hear?" with a mellow shout like a French horn on a touring car.
"And another thing," the chubby, colorful old man continued, his voice typically wrapping up in a smooth, loud shout when he emphasized his points. "That useless Westbury-Cedarhurst-Jericho-Meadowbrook crowd will be showing up at this housewarming, and I warn you to only give the slightest, most superficial, and most trivial attention to anything those young, snappy, fox-hunting guys say to you. Got it?" His voice trailed off like the deep sound of a French horn on a road trip.
"Yes, pa-pah!"
"Yes, dad!"
The old gentleman waved his single eyeglass in token of dismissal, and looked at his watch.
The old man waved his monocle as a sign to dismiss, and glanced at his watch.
"The bus is here," he said fussily. "Come on, Will; come, Linda, and you, Flavilla, Drusilla, and Sybilla, get your furs on. Don't take the elevator. Go down by the stairs, and hurry! If there's one thing in this world I won't do it is to wait for anybody on earth!"
"The bus is here," he said anxiously. "Come on, Will; let's go, Linda, and you too, Flavilla, Drusilla, and Sybilla, put on your coats. Don't take the elevator. Use the stairs and hurry! If there's one thing I won't do, it's wait for anyone!"
Flunkies and maids flew distractedly about with fur coats, muffs, and stoles. In solemn assemblage the family expedition filed past the elevator, descended the stairs to the lower hall, and there drew up for final inspection.
Flunkies and maids hurried around with fur coats, muffs, and stoles. The family group lined up solemnly as they passed the elevator, went down the stairs to the lower hall, and stopped there for a final check.
A mink-infested footman waited outside; valets, butlers, second-men and maids came to attention.
A footman infested with minks waited outside; valets, butlers, assistants, and maids snapped to attention.
"Where's Sacharissa?" demanded Mr. Carr, sonorously.
"Where's Sacharissa?" Mr. Carr asked loudly.
"Here, dad," said his oldest daughter, strolling calmly into the hall, hands still linked loosely behind her.
"Here, Dad," said his oldest daughter, casually walking into the hall, her hands still loosely linked behind her.
"Why haven't you got your hat and furs on?" demanded her father.
"Why don't you have your hat and coat on?" her father asked.
"Because I'm not going, dad," she said sweetly.
"Because I’m not going, Dad," she said sweetly.
The family eyed her in amazement.
The family looked at her in amazement.
"Not going?" shouted her father, in a mellow bellow. "Yes, you are! Not going! And why the dickens not?"
"Not going?" shouted her father, in a warm shout. "Yes, you are! Not going! And why on earth not?"
"I really don't know, dad," she said listlessly. "I don't want to go."
"I honestly don't know, Dad," she said with a lack of energy. "I don't want to go."
Her father waved both pudgy arms furiously. "Don't you feel well? You look well. You are well. Don't you feel well?"
Her father waved his chubby arms energetically. "Don't you feel okay? You look fine. You are fine. Don't you feel okay?"
"Perfectly."
"Perfect."
"No, you don't! You're pale! You're pallid! You're peaked! Take a tonic and lie down. Send your maid for some doctors--all kinds of doctors--and have them fix you up. Then come to Tuxedo with your maid to-morrow morning. Do you hear?"
"No, you don't! You're so pale! You're sickly! You're looking rough! Take some vitamins and lie down. Have your maid call for some doctors—all types of doctors—and let them take care of you. Then come to Tuxedo with your maid tomorrow morning. Do you understand?"
"Very well, dad."
"Sure thing, dad."
"And keep out of that elevator until it's fixed. It's likely to do anything. Ferdinand," to the man at the door, "have it fixed at once. Sacharissa, send that maid of yours for a doctor!"
"And stay away from that elevator until it’s repaired. It could do anything. Ferdinand," to the man at the door, "get it fixed right away. Sacharissa, send your maid to get a doctor!"
"Very well, dad!"
"Sure thing, Dad!"
She presented her cheek to her emphatic parent; he saluted it explosively, wheeled, marshaled the family at a glance, started them forward, and closed the rear with his own impressive person. The iron gates clanged, the door of the opera bus snapped, and Sacharissa strolled back into the rococo reception room not quite certain why she had not gone, not quite convinced that she was feeling perfectly well.
She turned her cheek to her enthusiastic parent; he greeted it with a loud kiss, turned around, gathered the family with just a glance, led them out, and took up the back with his own strong presence. The heavy gates slammed shut, the door of the opera bus closed, and Sacharissa walked back into the ornate reception room, unsure why she hadn’t left and not completely convinced that she was feeling okay.
For the first few minutes her face had been going hot and cold, alternately flushed and pallid. Her heart, too, was acting in an unusual manner--making sufficient stir for her to become uneasily aware of it.
For the first few minutes, her face kept getting hot and cold, going from flushed to pale. Her heart was also acting strangely—beating hard enough for her to notice it uncomfortably.
"Probably," she thought to herself, "I've eaten too many chocolates." She looked into the large gilded box, took another and ate it reflectively.
"Probably," she thought to herself, "I've eaten too many chocolates." She looked into the large gilded box, took another one, and ate it thoughtfully.
A curious languor possessed her. To combat it she rang for her maid, intending to go for a brisk walk, but the weight of the furs seemed to distress her. It was absurd. She threw them off and sat down in the library.
A curious lethargy took hold of her. To fight it, she called for her maid, planning to go for a quick walk, but the heaviness of the furs felt overwhelming. It was ridiculous. She tossed them aside and sat down in the library.
A little while later her maid found her lying there, feet crossed, arms stretched backward to form a cradle for her head.
A little while later, her maid found her lying there, with her feet crossed and her arms stretched back to support her head.
"Are you ill, Miss Carr?"
"Are you sick, Miss Carr?"
"No," said Sacharissa.
"No," Sacharissa said.
The maid cast an alarmed glance at her mistress' pallid face.
The maid shot a worried look at her mistress's pale face.
"Would you see Dr. Blimmer, miss?"
"Would you like to see Dr. Blimmer, miss?"
"No."
"No."
The maid hesitated:
The maid paused:
"Beg pardon, but Mr. Carr said you was to see some doctors."
"Excuse me, but Mr. Carr said you were supposed to see some doctors."
"Very well," she said indifferently. "And please hand me those chocolates. I don't care for any luncheon."
"Alright," she said casually. "And please pass me those chocolates. I'm not interested in any lunch."
"No luncheon, miss?" in consternation.
"No lunch, miss?" in shock.
Sacharissa had never been known to shun sustenance.
Sacharissa had never been known to avoid food.
The symptom thoroughly frightened her maid, and in a few minutes she had Dr. Blimmer's office on the telephone; but that eminent practitioner was out. Then she found in succession the offices of Doctors White, Black, and Gray. Two had gone away over New Year's, the other was out.
The symptom really scared her maid, and within a few minutes, she called Dr. Blimmer's office; however, that well-known doctor was unavailable. Then she tried the offices of Doctors White, Black, and Gray in turn. Two of them had left for New Year's, and the other was out as well.
The maid, who was clever and resourceful, went out to hunt up a doctor. There are, in the cross streets, plenty of doctors between the Seventies and Eighties. She found one without difficulty--that is, she found the sign in the window, but the doctor was out on his visits.
The maid, who was smart and resourceful, went out to find a doctor. There are plenty of doctors in the side streets between the Seventies and Eighties. She found one easily—that is, she saw the sign in the window, but the doctor was out on his rounds.
She made two more attempts with similar results, then, discovering a doctor's sign in a window across the street, started for it regardless of snowdrifts, and at the same moment the doctor's front door opened and a young man, with a black leather case in his hand, hastily descended the icy steps and hurried away up the street.
She tried two more times with the same outcome, then, spotting a doctor's sign in a window across the street, she headed for it despite the snowdrifts. At that moment, the doctor's front door opened, and a young man holding a black leather bag quickly came down the icy steps and rushed up the street.
The maid ran after him and arrived at his side breathless, excited:
The maid ran after him and reached his side, out of breath and excited:
"Oh, could you come--just for a moment, if you please, sir! Miss Carr won't eat her luncheon!"
"Oh, could you come--just for a moment, please, sir! Miss Carr won't eat her lunch!"
"What!" said the young man, surprised.
"What!" said the young man, shocked.
"Miss Carr wishes to see you--just for a----"
"Miss Carr wants to see you—just for a—"
"Miss Carr?"
"Ms. Carr?"
"Miss Sacharissa!"
"Ms. Sacharissa!"
"Sacharissa?"
"Sacharissa?"
"Y-yes, sir--she----"
"Y-yes, sir—she—"
"But I don't know any Miss Sacharissa!"
"But I don't know any Miss Sacharissa!"
"I understand that, sir."
"I get it, sir."
"Look here, young woman, do you know my name?"
"Hey there, young woman, do you know my name?"
"No, sir, but that doesn't make any difference to Miss Carr."
"No, sir, but that doesn’t change anything for Miss Carr."
"She wishes to see me!"
"She wants to see me!"
"Oh, yes, sir."
"Yes, sir."
"I--I'm in a hurry to catch a train." He looked hard at the maid, at his watch, at the maid again.
"I—I'm rushing to catch a train." He stared intently at the maid, then at his watch, and then back at the maid.
"Are you perfectly sure you're not mistaken?" he demanded.
"Are you completely sure you're not wrong?" he asked.
"No, sir, I----"
"No, sir, I—"
"A certain Miss Sacharissa Carr desires to see me? Are you certain of that?"
"A certain Miss Sacharissa Carr wants to see me? Are you sure about that?"
"Oh, yes, sir--she----"
"Oh, yes, sir—she—"
"Where does she live?"
"Where does she stay?"
"One thousand eight and a half Fifth Avenue, sir."
"1,000.5 Fifth Avenue, sir."
"I've got just three minutes. Can you run?"
"I only have three minutes. Can you run?"
"I--yes!"
"I—yes!"
"Come on, then!"
"Let's go!"
And away they galloped, his overcoat streaming out behind, the maid's skirts flapping and her narrow apron flickering in the wind. Wayfarers stopped to watch their pace--a pace which brought them to the house in something under a minute. Ferdinand, the second man, let them in.
And off they went, his overcoat billowing behind him, the maid's skirt waving and her slim apron fluttering in the wind. Passersby paused to watch them speed by—a pace that got them to the house in less than a minute. Ferdinand, the second man, let them in.
"Now, then," panted the young man, "which way? I'm in a hurry, remember!" And he started on a run for the stairs.
"Alright," the young man gasped, "which way? I'm in a hurry, don’t forget!" And he took off running for the stairs.
"Please follow me, sir; the elevator is quicker!" gasped the maid, opening the barred doors.
"Please follow me, sir; the elevator is faster!" the maid said breathlessly, opening the barred doors.
The young man sprang into the lighted car, the maid turned to fling off hat and jacket before entering; something went fizz-bang! snap! clink! and the lights in the car were extinguished.
The young man jumped into the lit car, and the maid turned to take off her hat and jacket before getting in; something went fizz-bang! snap! clink! and the lights in the car went out.
"Oh!" shrieked the maid, "it's running away again! Jump, sir!"
"Oh!" yelled the maid, "it's getting away again! Jump, sir!"
The ornate, rococo elevator, as a matter of fact, was running away, upward, slowly at first. Its astonished occupant turned to jump out--too late.
The fancy rococo elevator was actually moving up, slowly at first. The surprised person inside turned to jump out—too late.
"P-push the third button, sir! Quick!" cried the maid, wringing her hands.
"P-push the third button, sir! Hurry!" shouted the maid, twisting her hands.
"W-where is it!" stammered the young man, groping nervously in the dark car. "I can't see any."
"W-where is it!" the young man stuttered, feeling around anxiously in the dark car. "I can't see anything."
"Cr-rack!" went something.
"Crack!" went something.
"It's stopped! It's going to fall!" screamed the maid. "Run, Ferdinand!"
"It's stopped! It's going to fall!" shouted the maid. "Run, Ferdinand!"
The man at the door ran upstairs for a few steps, then distractedly slid to the bottom, shouting:
The man at the door took a few steps up the stairs but then absentmindedly slid back down, yelling:
"Are you hurt, sir?"
"Are you okay, sir?"
"No," came a disgusted voice from somewhere up the shaft.
"No," came a disgusted voice from somewhere up the shaft.
Every landing was now noisy with servants, maids sped upstairs, flunkeys sped down, a butler waddled in a circle.
Every landing was now bustling with staff; maids rushed upstairs, employees hurried downstairs, and a butler moved around in circles.
"Is anybody going to get me out of this?" demanded the voice in the shaft. "I've a train to catch."
"Is anyone going to help me out of this?" demanded the voice in the shaft. "I've got a train to catch."
The perspiring butler poked his head into the shaft from below:
The sweating butler peeked his head into the shaft from below:
"'Ow far hup, sir, might you be?"
"'How far up, sir, might you be?"
"How the devil do I know?"
"How the heck would I know?"
"Can't you see nothink, sir?"
"Can't you see anything, sir?"
"Yes, I can see a landing and a red room."
"Yeah, I can see a landing and a red room."
"'E's stuck hunder the library!" exclaimed the butler, and there was a rush for the upper floors.
"'He's stuck under the library!" exclaimed the butler, and everyone rushed to the upper floors.
The rush was met and checked by a tall, young girl who came leisurely along the landing, nibbling a chocolate.
The rush was met and halted by a tall, young girl who strolled casually along the landing, snacking on a chocolate.
"What is all this noise about?" she asked. "Has the elevator gone wrong again?"
"What’s all this noise about?" she asked. "Has the elevator messed up again?"
Glancing across the landing at the grille which screened the shaft she saw the gilded car--part of it--and half of a perfectly strange young man looking earnestly out.
Glancing across the landing at the grille that covered the shaft, she saw the gilded elevator car—part of it—and half of a totally unfamiliar young man looking out with intent.
"It's the doctor!" wailed her maid.
"It's the doctor!" cried her maid.
"That isn't Dr. Blimmer!" said her mistress.
"That's not Dr. Blimmer!" said her boss.
"No, miss, it's a perfectly strange doctor."
"No, miss, he's a really weird doctor."
"I am not a doctor," observed the young man, coldly.
"I am not a doctor," the young man said flatly.
Sacharissa drew nearer.
Sacharissa got closer.
"If that maid of yours had asked me," he went on, "I'd have told her. She saw me coming down the steps of a physician's house--I suppose she mistook my camera case for a case of medicines."
"If your maid had asked me," he continued, "I would have told her. She saw me coming down the steps of a doctor's office--I guess she mistook my camera bag for a medicine bag."
"I did--oh, I did!" moaned the maid, and covered her head with her apron.
"I did—oh, I did!" the maid groaned, covering her head with her apron.
"The thing to do," said Sacharissa, calmly, "is to send for the nearest plumber. Ferdinand, go immediately!"
"The thing to do," said Sacharissa, calmly, "is to call the nearest plumber. Ferdinand, go right now!"
"Meanwhile," said the imprisoned young man, "I shall miss my train. Can't somebody break that grille? I could climb out that way."
"Meanwhile," said the young man in prison, "I'm going to miss my train. Can't someone break that grate? I could climb out that way."
"Sparks," said Miss Carr, "can you break that grille?"
"Sparks," Miss Carr said, "can you break that grill?"
Sparks tried. A kitchen maid brought a small tackhammer--the only "'ammer in the 'ouse," according to Sparks, who pounded at the foliated steel grille and broke the hammer off short.
Sparks made an effort. A kitchen maid brought a small tack hammer—the only "hammer in the house," as Sparks put it—who then struck the steel grille and broke the hammer off short.
"Did it 'it you in the 'ead, sir?" he asked, panting.
"Did it hit you in the head, sir?" he asked, panting.
"Exactly," replied the young man, grinding his teeth.
"Exactly," replied the young man, clenching his teeth.
Sparks 'oped as 'ow it didn't 'urt the gentleman. The gentleman stanched his wound in terrible silence.
Sparks commented on how it didn't hurt the gentleman. The gentleman stopped the bleeding in painful silence.
Presently Ferdinand came back to report upon the availability of the family plumber. It appeared that all plumbers, locksmiths, and similar indispensable and free-born artisans had closed shop at noon and would not reopen until after New Year's, subject to the Constitution of the United States.
Currently, Ferdinand returned to update on the availability of the family plumber. It turned out that all plumbers, locksmiths, and other essential and independent tradespeople had closed up shop at noon and wouldn't reopen until after New Year's, in accordance with the Constitution of the United States.
"But this gentleman cannot remain here until after New Year's," said Sacharissa. "He says he is in a hurry. Do you hear, Sparks?"
"But this guy can’t stay here until after New Year's," said Sacharissa. "He says he's in a rush. Do you hear that, Sparks?"
The servants stood in a helpless row.
The servants stood in a powerless line.
"Ferdinand," she said, "Mr. Carr told you to have that elevator fixed before it was used again!"
"Ferdinand," she said, "Mr. Carr told you to get that elevator fixed before anyone uses it again!"
Ferdinand stared wildly at the grille and ran his thumb over the bars.
Ferdinand looked frantically at the grille and ran his thumb along the bars.
"And Clark"--to her maid--"I am astonished that you permitted this gentleman to risk the elevator."
"And Clark," she said to her maid, "I can't believe you let this gentleman use the elevator."
"He was in a hurry--I thought he was a doctor." The maid dissolved into tears.
"He was in a hurry—I thought he was a doctor." The maid broke down in tears.
"It is now," broke in the voice from the shaft, "an utter impossibility for me to catch any train in the United States."
"It’s now," interrupted the voice from the shaft, "completely impossible for me to catch any train in the United States."
"I am dreadfully sorry," said Sacharissa.
"I'm really sorry," Sacharissa said.
"Isn't there an ax in the house?"
"Isn't there an ax in the house?"
The butler mournfully denied it.
The butler sadly denied it.
"Then get the furnace bar."
"Then grab the furnace bar."
It was fetched; nerve-racking blows rained on the grille; puffing servants applied it as a lever, as a battering-ram, as a club. The house rang like a boiler factory.
It was brought; intense blows pounded on the gate; out-of-breath workers used it as a lever, a battering ram, a club. The house echoed like a factory.
"I can't stand any more of that!" shouted the young man. "Stop it!"
"I can't take any more of that!" shouted the young man. "Knock it off!"
Sacharissa looked about her, hands closing both ears.
Sacharissa looked around, covering her ears with her hands.
"Send them away," said the young man, wearily. "If I've got to stay here I want a chance to think."
"Send them away," the young man said tiredly. "If I have to stay here, I need a moment to think."
After she had dismissed the servants Sacharissa drew up a chair and seated herself a few feet from the grille. She could see half the car and half the man--plainer, now that she had come nearer.
After she dismissed the servants, Sacharissa pulled up a chair and sat a few feet from the grille. She could see half of the car and half of the man—clearer now that she was closer.
He was a young and rather attractive looking fellow, cheek tied up in his handkerchief, where the head of the hammer had knocked off the skin.
He was a young and pretty good-looking guy, with his cheek wrapped in a handkerchief, where the hammer had taken off the skin.
"Let me get some witch-hazel," said Sacharissa, rising.
"Let me grab some witch hazel," Sacharissa said as she stood up.
"I want to write a telegram first," he said.
"I want to write a text message first," he said.
So she brought some blanks, passed them and a pencil down to him through the grille, and reseated herself.
So she handed him some blank sheets and a pencil through the grille, then sat back down.
VII
THE INVISIBLE WIRE
In Which the Telephone Continues Ringing
In Which the Phone Keeps Ringing
When he had finished writing he sorted out some silver, and handed it and the yellow paper to Sacharissa.
When he finished writing, he organized some coins and handed them along with the yellow paper to Sacharissa.
"It's dark in here. Would you mind reading it aloud to me to see if I've made it plain?" he asked.
"It's dark in here. Could you read it out loud to me to check if I've made it clear?" he asked.
"Certainly," said Sacharissa; and she read:
"Sure," said Sacharissa; and she read:
MRS. DELANCY COURLAND,Tuxedo.
I'm stuck in an idiotic elevator at 1008-1/2 Fifth Avenue. If I don't appear by New Year's you'll know why. Be careful that no reporters get hold of this.
KILLIAN VAN K. VANDERDYNK.
MRS. DELANCY COURLAND,Tuxedo.
I'm trapped in a dumb elevator at 1008-1/2 Fifth Avenue. If I don't arrive by New Year's, you'll know why. Please make sure no reporters find out about this.
KILLIAN VAN K. VANDERDYNK.
Sacharissa flushed deeply. "I can't send this," she said.
Sacharissa turned red. "I can't send this," she said.
"Why not?" demanded the young man, irritably.
"Why not?" the young man asked, annoyed.
"Because, Mr. Vanderdynk, my father, brother-in-law, married sister, and three younger sisters are expected at the Courlands'. Imagine what effect such a telegram would have on them!"
"Because, Mr. Vanderdynk, my father, brother-in-law, married sister, and three younger sisters are expected at the Courlands'. Just think about what impact such a telegram would have on them!"
"Then cross out the street and number," he said; "just say I'm stuck in a strange elevator."
"Then cross out the street and number," he said; "just write that I'm stuck in a weird elevator."
She did so, rang, and a servant took away the telegram.
She did that, rang the bell, and a servant took the telegram away.
"Now," said the heir apparent to the Prince Regency of Manhattan, "there are two things still" possible. First, you might ring up police headquarters and ask for aid; next, request assistance from fire headquarters."
"Now," said the heir apparent to the Prince Regency of Manhattan, "there are still two options available. First, you could call the police headquarters and ask for help; next, you could request assistance from the fire department."
"If I do," she said, "wouldn't the newspapers get hold of it?"
"If I do," she said, "won't the newspapers find out?"
"You are perfectly right," he said.
"You're totally right," he said.
She had now drawn her chair so close to the gilded grille that, hands resting upon it, she could look down into the car where sat the scion of the Vanderdynks on a flimsy Louis XV chair.
She had now pulled her chair so close to the gilded grille that, with her hands resting on it, she could look down into the car where the heir of the Vanderdynks sat on a fragile Louis XV chair.
"I can't express to you how sorry I am," she said. "Is there anything I can do to--to ameliorate your imprisonment?"
"I can't tell you how sorry I am," she said. "Is there anything I can do to make your time in prison better?"
He looked at her in a bewildered way.
He looked at her in a confused way.
"You don't expect me to remain here until after New Year's, do you?" he inquired.
"You don't expect me to stay here until after New Year's, do you?" he asked.
"I don't see how you can avoid it. Nobody seems to want to work until after New Year's."
"I don't see how you can get around it. No one really wants to work until after New Year's."
"Stay in a cage--two days and a night!"
"Stay in a cage—two days and a night!"
"Perhaps I had better call up the police."
"Maybe I should call the police."
"No, no! Wait. I'll tell you what to do. Start that man, Ferdinand, on a tour of the city. If he hunts hard enough and long enough he'll find some plumber or locksmith or somebody who'll come."
"No, no! Hold on. I'll tell you what to do. Send that guy, Ferdinand, on a tour of the city. If he looks hard enough and long enough, he'll find some plumber or locksmith or someone who can help."
She rang for Ferdinand; together they instructed him, and he went away, promising to bring salvation in some shape.
She called for Ferdinand; together they guided him, and he left, promising to bring some kind of salvation.
Which promise made the young man more cheerful and smoothed out the worried pucker between Sacharissa's straight brows.
Which promise made the young man happier and relaxed the worried crease between Sacharissa's straight brows.
"I suppose," she said, "that you will never forgive my maid for this--or me either."
"I guess," she said, "that you'll never forgive my maid for this—or me either."
He laughed. "After all," he admitted, "it's rather funny."
He laughed. "After all," he said, "it's pretty funny."
"I don't believe you think it's funny."
"I don't think you actually find it funny."
"Yes, I do."
"Yep, I do."
"Didn't you want to go to Tuxedo?"
"Didn't you want to go to Tuxedo?"
"I!" He looked up at the pretty countenance of Sacharissa. "I did want to--a few minutes ago."
"I!" He looked up at the beautiful face of Sacharissa. "I did want to--a few minutes ago."
"And now that you can't your philosophy teaches you that you don't want to?"
"And now that you can't, your philosophy teaches you that you don't want to?"
They laughed at each other in friendly fashion.
They laughed at each other in a friendly way.
"Perhaps it's my philosophy," he said, "but" I really don't care very much.... I'm not sure that I care at all.... In fact, now that I think of it, why should I have wished to go to Tuxedo? It's stupid to want to go to Tuxedo when New York is so attractive."
"Maybe it's just my way of thinking," he said, "but I honestly don't care much.... I'm not even sure I care at all.... Actually, now that I think about it, why would I have wanted to go to Tuxedo? It doesn’t make sense to want to go to Tuxedo when New York is so appealing."
"Do you know," she said reflectively, "that I came to the same conclusion?"
"Do you know," she said thoughtfully, "that I reached the same conclusion?"
"When?"
"When's that?"
"This morning."
"This morning."
"Be-before you--I----"
"Be before you--I----"
"Oh, yes," she said rather hastily, "before you came----"
"Oh, yes," she said a bit quickly, "before you arrived----"
She broke off, pink with consternation. What a ridiculous thing to say! What on earth was twisting her tongue to hint at such an absurdity?
She stopped, blushing with embarrassment. What a silly thing to say! What on earth was making her say something so ridiculous?
She said, gravely, with heightened color: "I was standing by the window this morning, thinking, and it occurred to me that I didn't care to go to Tuxedo.... When did you change your mind?"
She said, seriously, with a flush in her cheeks: "I was by the window this morning, thinking, and it hit me that I didn't want to go to Tuxedo.... When did you change your mind?"
"A few minutes a--that is--well, I never really wanted to go. It's jollier in town. Don't you think so? Blue sky, snow--er--and all that?"
"A few minutes a—sorry—well, I never really wanted to go. It's more fun in town. Don't you think? Blue sky, snow—uh—and all that?"
"Yes," she said, "it is perfectly delightful in town to-day."
"Yes," she said, "it's absolutely lovely in town today."
He assented, then looked discouraged.
He agreed, then looked discouraged.
"Perhaps you would like to go out?" he said.
"Maybe you'd like to go out?" he said.
"I? Oh, no.... The sun on the snow is bad for one's eyes; don't you think so?"
"I? Oh, no.... The sun on the snow is hard on your eyes; don’t you think so?"
"Very.... I'm terribly sorry that I'm giving you so much trouble."
"Sorry for giving you so much trouble."
"I don't mind--really. If only I could do something for you."
"I don't mind at all—really. I just wish I could do something for you."
"You are."
"You exist."
"I?"
"I?"
"Yes; you are being exceedingly nice to me. I am afraid you feel under obligations to remain indoors and----"
"Yes, you're being really nice to me. I’m worried you feel like you have to stay inside and----"
"Truly, I don't. I was not going out."
"Honestly, I really don't. I wasn't going out."
She leaned nearer and looked through the bars: "Are you quite sure you feel comfortable?"
She leaned closer and looked through the bars: "Are you really sure you feel okay?"
"I feel like something in a zoo!"
"I feel like something in a zoo!"
She laughed. "That reminds me," she said, "have you had any luncheon?"
She laughed. "That reminds me," she said, "have you had lunch?"
He had not, it appeared, after a little polite protestation, so she rang for Sparks.
He hadn't, it seemed, after a bit of polite disagreement, so she called for Sparks.
Her own appetite, too, had returned when the tray was brought; napkin and plate were passed through the grille to him, and, as they lunched, he in his cage, she close to the bars, they fell into conversation, exchanging information concerning mutual acquaintances whom they had expected to meet at the Delancy Courlands'.
Her appetite had also come back when the tray was brought; the napkin and plate were passed through the grille to him, and as they had lunch, with him in his cage and her close to the bars, they started talking, sharing updates about mutual acquaintances they had expected to see at the Delancy Courlands'.
"So you see," she said, "that if I had not changed my mind about going to Tuxedo this morning you would not be here now. Nor I.... And we would never have--lunched together."
"So, you see," she said, "if I hadn’t changed my mind about going to Tuxedo this morning, you wouldn’t be here now. And neither would I... And we would have never had lunch together."
"That didn't alter things," he said, smiling. "If you hadn't been ill you would have gone to Tuxedo, and I should have seen you there."
"That didn't change anything," he said, smiling. "If you hadn't been sick, you would have gone to Tuxedo, and I would have seen you there."
"Then, whatever I did made no difference," she assented, thoughtfully, "for we were bound to meet, anyway."
"Then, whatever I did didn't matter," she agreed, thoughtfully, "because we were destined to meet, anyway."
He remained standing close to the grille, which, as she was seated, brought his head on a level with hers.
He stood close to the grill, which put his head at the same level as hers while she was seated.
"It would seem," he said laughingly, "as though we were doomed to meet each other, anyway. It looks like a case of Destiny to me."
"It seems," he said with a laugh, "like we were meant to meet each other, anyway. To me, it looks like a matter of Destiny."
She started slightly: "What did you say?"
She jumped a little: "What did you say?"
"I said that it looks as though Fate intended us to meet, anyhow. Don't you think so?"
"I said it seems like Destiny wanted us to meet, don’t you think?"
She remained silent.
She stayed quiet.
He added cheerfully: "I never was afraid of Fate."
He said happily, "I was never afraid of Fate."
"Would you care for a--a book--or anything?" she asked, aware of a new constraint in her voice.
"Do you want a book or something?" she asked, noticing a new tension in her voice.
"I don't believe I could see to read in here.... Are you--going?"
"I don't think I can see well enough to read in here.... Are you--leaving?"
"I--ought to." Vexed at the feeble senselessness of her reply she found herself walking down the landing, toward nowhere in particular. She turned abruptly and came back.
"I--should." Frustrated by the pointless weakness of her response, she realized she was strolling down the hallway, heading nowhere in particular. She suddenly turned around and came back.
"Do you want a book?" she repeated.
"Do you want a book?" she asked again.
"Oh, I forgot that you can't see to read. But perhaps you might care to smoke."
"Oh, I forgot that you can't see well enough to read. But maybe you’d like to smoke."
"Are you going away?"
"Are you leaving?"
"I--don't mind your smoking."
"I don't mind you smoking."
He lighted a cigarette; she looked at him irresolutely.
He lit a cigarette; she looked at him uncertainly.
"You mustn't think of remaining," he said. Whereupon she seated herself.
"You shouldn’t consider staying," he said. Then she sat down.
"I suppose I ought to try to amuse you--till Ferdinand returns with a plumber," she said.
"I guess I should try to entertain you—until Ferdinand comes back with a plumber," she said.
He protested: "I couldn't think of asking so much from you."
He said, "I couldn't imagine asking for so much from you."
"Anyway, it's my duty," she insisted. "I ought."
"Anyway, it's my responsibility," she said firmly. "I should."
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Because you are under my roof--a guest."
"Because you are staying in my home--a guest."
"Please don't think----"
"Please don't think—"
"But I really don't mind! If there is anything I can do to make your imprisonment easier----"
"But I really don't mind! If there's anything I can do to make your time here easier----"
"It is easy. I rather like being here."
"It’s easy. I actually enjoy being here."
"It is very amiable of you to say so."
"It's really nice of you to say that."
"I really mean it."
"I truly mean it."
"How can you really mean it?"
"How can you actually mean it?"
"I don't know, but I do." In their earnestness they had come close to the bars; she stood with both hands resting on the grille, looking in; he in a similar position, looking out.
"I don't know, but I do." With genuine intent, they had moved closer to the bars; she stood with both hands resting on the grating, peering inside; he, in a similar stance, was looking outside.
He said: "I feel like an occupant of the Bronx, and it rather astonishes me that you haven't thrown me in a few peanuts."
He said, "I feel like I'm living in the Bronx, and I'm pretty surprised you haven't tossed me a few peanuts."
She laughed, fetched her box of chocolates, then began seriously: "If Ferdinand doesn't find anybody I'm afraid you might be obliged to remain to dinner."
She laughed, grabbed her box of chocolates, then said seriously: "If Ferdinand doesn't find anyone, I’m worried you might have to stay for dinner."
"That prospect," he said, "is not unpleasant. You know when one becomes accustomed to one's cage it's rather a bore to be let out."
"That prospect," he said, "isn't bad. You know, when you get used to your cage, it’s a bit boring to be let out."
They sampled the chocolates, she sitting close to the cage, and as the box would not go through the bars she was obliged to hand them to him, one by one.
They tried the chocolates, with her sitting close to the cage. Since the box wouldn’t fit through the bars, she had to hand them to him one by one.
"I wonder," she mused, "how soon Ferdinand will find a plumber?"
"I wonder," she thought, "how soon Ferdinand will find a plumber?"
He shrugged his shoulders.
He shrugged.
She bent her adorable head, chose a chocolate and offered it to him.
She tilted her cute head, picked a chocolate, and handed it to him.
"Are you not terribly impatient?" she inquired.
"Are you not really impatient?" she asked.
"Not--terribly."
"Not great."
Their glances encountered and she said hurriedly:
Their eyes met, and she said quickly:
"I am sure you must be perfectly furious with everybody in this house. I--I think it is most amiable of you to behave so cheerfully about it."
"I’m sure you must be really angry with everyone in this house. I think it’s really kind of you to act so cheerfully about it."
"As a matter of fact," he said, "I'm feeling about as cheerful as I ever felt in my life."
"As a matter of fact," he said, "I'm feeling as cheerful as I've ever felt in my life."
"Cooped up in a cage?"
"Stuck in a cage?"
"Exactly."
"Exactly."
"Which may fall at any--" The idea was a new one to them both. She leaned forward in sudden consternation. "I never thought of that!" she exclaimed. "You don't think there's any chance of its falling, do you?"
"Which could happen at any--" The idea was new to both of them. She leaned forward, suddenly alarmed. "I never thought of that!" she exclaimed. "You don't think there's any chance of it happening, do you?"
He looked at the startled, gray eyes so earnestly fixed on his. The sweet mouth quivered a little--just a little--or he thought it did.
He looked at the surprised, gray eyes so intently fixed on his. The soft mouth trembled a bit—just a bit—or at least he thought it did.
"No," he replied, with a slight catch in his voice, "I don't believe it's going to fall."
"No," he replied, his voice slightly shaky, "I don't think it's going to fall."
"Perhaps you had better not move around very much in it. Be careful, I beg of you. You will, won't you, Mr. Vanderdynk?"
"Maybe you should stay still in it. Please be careful, I’m begging you. Will you do that for me, Mr. Vanderdynk?"
"Please don't let it bother you," he said, stepping toward her impulsively.
"Please don't let it get to you," he said, stepping toward her impulsively.
"Oh, don't, don't move!" she exclaimed. "You really must keep perfectly still. Won't you promise me you will keep perfectly still?"
"Oh, please, don’t move!" she said. "You really need to stay completely still. Can you promise me you’ll stay completely still?"
"I'll promise you anything," he said a little wildly.
"I'll promise you anything," he said, slightly crazed.
Neither seemed to notice that he had overdone it.
Neither seemed to realize that he had gone too far.
She drew her chair as close as it would go to the grille and leaned against it.
She pulled her chair as close as possible to the grill and leaned against it.
"You will keep up your courage, won't you?" she asked anxiously.
"You will stay strong, right?" she asked nervously.
"Certainly. By the way, how far is it to the b-basement?"
"Sure thing. By the way, how far is it to the b-basement?"
She turned quite white for an instant, then:
She turned pale for a moment, then:
"I think I'd better go and ring up the police."
"I think I should go and call the police."
"No! A thousand times no! I couldn't stand that."
"No! A thousand times no! I can't handle that."
"But the car might--drop before----"
"But the car might drop before----"
"Better decently dead than publicly paragraphed.... I haven't the least idea that this thing is going to drop.... Anyway, it's worth it," he added, rather vaguely.
"Better to be quietly dead than publicly criticized.... I have no clue if this is going to happen.... Either way, it's worth it," he added, somewhat vaguely.
"Worth--what?" she asked, looking into his rather winning, brown eyes.
"Worth—what?" she asked, looking into his charming brown eyes.
"Being here," he said, looking into her engaging gray ones.
"Being here," he said, looking into her captivating gray eyes.
After a startling silence she said calmly: "Will you promise me not to move or shake the car till I return?"
After a shocking silence, she said calmly, "Will you promise me not to move or shake the car until I get back?"
"You won't be very long, will you?"
"You won't take too long, will you?"
"Not--very," she replied faintly.
"Not really," she replied faintly.
She walked into the library, halted in the center of the room, hands clasped behind her. Her heart was beating like a trip hammer.
She walked into the library, stopped in the middle of the room, hands clasped behind her. Her heart was pounding like crazy.
"I might as well face it," she said to herself; "he is--by far--the most thoroughly attractive man I have ever seen.... I--I don't know what's the matter," she added piteously.... "if it's that machine William made I can't help it; I don't care any longer; I wish----"
"I might as well admit it," she said to herself; "he is definitely the most completely attractive man I've ever seen.... I—I don't know what's wrong," she added sadly.... "If it's that device William made, I can't help it; I don't care anymore; I wish----"
A sharp crack from the landing sent her out there in a hurry, pale and frightened.
A loud sound from the landing made her run out there quickly, looking pale and scared.
"Something snapped somewhere," explained the young man with forced carelessness, "some unimportant splinter gave way and the thing slid down an inch or two."
"Something broke somewhere," the young man said with a fake nonchalance, "some minor piece gave way and the thing dropped down by an inch or two."
"D-do you think----"
"Do you think----"
"No, I don't. But it's perfectly fine of you to care."
"No, I don't. But it's totally fine for you to care."
"C-care? I'm a little frightened, of course.... Anybody would be.... Oh, I wish you were out and p-perfectly safe." "If I thought you could ever really care what became of a man like me----"
"C-care? I’m a bit scared, obviously... Anyone would be... Oh, I wish you were out and perfectly safe." "If I thought you could actually care about what happens to a guy like me----"
Killian Van K. Vanderdynk's aristocratic senses began gyrating; he grasped the bars, the back of his hand brushed against hers, and the momentary contact sent a shock straight through the scion of that celebrated race.
Killian Van K. Vanderdynk's elite instincts started to buzz; he grabbed the bars, the back of his hand lightly touched hers, and that brief contact sent a jolt through the heir of that renowned lineage.
She seated herself abruptly; a delicate color grew, staining her face.
She sat down sharply; a rosy hue appeared, coloring her face.
Neither spoke. A long, luminous sunbeam fell across the landing, touching the edge of her hair till it glimmered like bronze afire. The sensitive mouth was quiet, the eyes, very serious, were lifted from time to time, then lowered, thoughtfully, to the clasped fingers on her knee.
Neither spoke. A long, bright sunbeam fell across the landing, illuminating the edge of her hair until it shone like fire-bronze. Her delicate mouth was still, and her serious eyes looked up from time to time, then lowered thoughtfully to her clasped fingers on her knee.
Could it be possible? How could it be possible?--with a man she had never before chanced to meet--with a man she had seen for the first time in her life only an hour or so ago! Such things didn't happen outside of short stories. There was neither logic nor common decency in it. Had she or had she not any ordinary sense remaining?
Could it be possible? How could it be possible? --with a man she had never met before--with a man she had only seen for the first time in her life just an hour ago! These things didn’t happen outside of short stories. There was no logic or basic decency in it. Did she or did she not have any common sense left?
She raised her eyes and looked at the heir of the Vanderdynks.
She lifted her gaze and glanced at the heir of the Vanderdynks.
Of course anybody could see he was unusually attractive--that he had that indefinable something about him which is seldom, if ever, seen outside of fiction or of Mr. Gibson's drawings--perhaps it is entirely confined to them--except in this one very rare case.
Of course, anyone could tell he was exceptionally good-looking—he had that special quality about him that's rarely, if ever, found outside of fiction or Mr. Gibson's illustrations—maybe it's only found in those—except in this one very rare instance.
Sacharissa's eyes fell.
Sacharissa looked down.
Another unusual circumstance was engaging her attention, namely, that his rather remarkable physical perfection appeared to be matched by a breeding quite as faultless, and a sublimity of courage in the face of destruction itself, which----
Another unusual circumstance was catching her attention, specifically that his striking physical perfection seemed to be paired with equally flawless breeding and an impressive courage in the face of destruction itself, which----
Sacharissa lifted her gray eyes.
Sacharissa lifted her gray eyes.
There he stood, suspended over an abyss, smoking a cigarette, bravely forcing himself to an attitude of serene insouciance, while the basement yawned for him! Machine or no machine, how could any girl look upon such miraculous self-control unmoved? She could not. It was natural that a woman should be deeply thrilled by such a spectacle--and William Destyn's machine had nothing to do with it--not a thing! Neither had psychology, nor demonology, nor anything, with wires or wireless. She liked him, frankly. Who wouldn't? She feared for him, desperately. Who wouldn't? She----
There he stood, hanging over a chasm, smoking a cigarette, bravely trying to appear calm and carefree, while the basement loomed below him! Whether it was a machine or not, how could any girl watch such incredible self-control and remain unaffected? She couldn't. It made sense that a woman would be deeply moved by such a scene—and William Destyn's machine had nothing to do with it—not at all! Neither did psychology, demonology, or anything else, wired or wireless. She liked him, honestly. Who wouldn't? She worried for him, deeply. Who wouldn't? She----
"C-r-rack!"
"Crrrack!"
"Oh--what is it!" she cried, springing to the grille.
"Oh—what is it!" she exclaimed, jumping up to the grille.
"I don't know," he said, somewhat pale. "The old thing seems--to be sliding."
"I don't know," he said, looking a bit pale. "The old thing seems to be slipping."
"Giving way!"
"Yielding!"
"A--little--I think----"
"A little, I think."
"Mr. Vanderdynk! I must call the police----"
"Mr. Vanderdynk! I need to call the police----"
"Cr-rackle--crack-k-k!" went the car, dropping an inch or two.
"Crackle--crack-k-k!" went the car, dropping an inch or two.
With a stifled cry she caught his hands through the bars, as though to hold him by main strength.
With a muffled cry, she grabbed his hands through the bars, trying to hold on to him with all her strength.
"Are you crazy?" he said fiercely, thrusting them away. "Be careful! If the thing drops you'll break your arms!"
"Are you out of your mind?" he said sharply, pushing them away. "Watch it! If that thing falls, you'll break your arms!"
"I--I don't care!" she said breathlessly. "I can't let----"
"I—I don’t care!" she said, out of breath. "I can’t let----"
"Crack!" But the car stuck again.
"Crack!" But the car got stuck again.
"I will call the police!" she cried.
"I'll call the police!" she cried.
"The papers may make fun of you."
"The tabloids might mock you."
"Was it for me you were afraid? Oh, Mr. Vanderdynk! What do I care for ridicule compared to--to----"
"Was it for me you were afraid? Oh, Mr. Vanderdynk! What do I care about ridicule compared to--to----"
The car had sunk so far in the shaft now that she had to kneel and put her head close to the floor to see him.
The car had sunk so deep in the shaft now that she had to kneel and lean her head close to the floor to see him.
"I will only be a minute at the telephone," she said. "Keep up courage; I am thinking of you every moment."
"I'll just be a minute on the phone," she said. "Stay strong; I'm thinking of you all the time."
"W-will you let me say one word?" he stammered.
"W-will you let me say something?" he stammered.
"Oh, what? Be quick, I beg you."
"Oh, what? Please hurry, I beg you."
"It's only goodbye--in case the thing drops. May I say it?"
"It's just goodbye—if this thing goes south. Can I say it?"
"Y-yes--yes! But say it quickly."
"Y-yes—yes! But say it fast."
"And if it doesn't drop after all, you won't be angry at what I'm going to say?"
"And if it doesn't drop after all, you won't be upset about what I'm about to say?"
"N-no. Oh, for Heaven's sake, hurry!"
"N-no. Oh, for goodness' sake, hurry!"
"Then--you are the sweetest woman in the world!... Goodbye--Sacharissa-- dear."
"Then—you are the sweetest woman in the world!... Goodbye—Sacharissa—dear."
She sprang up, dazed, and at the same moment a terrific crackling and splintering resounded from the shaft, and the car sank out of sight.
She jumped up, bewildered, and at the same time, a loud crackling and splintering echoed from the shaft, and the car disappeared from view.
Faint, she swayed for a second against the balustrade, then turned and ran downstairs, ears strained for the sickening crash from below.
Faint, she leaned for a moment against the railing, then turned and rushed downstairs, ears tuned for the disturbing crash from below.
There was no crash, no thud. As she reached the drawing-room landing, to her amazement a normally-lighted elevator slid slowly down, came to a stop, and the automatic grilles opened quietly.
There was no crash, no thud. As she reached the landing of the drawing room, she was amazed to see a normally-lit elevator slowly sliding down, coming to a stop, and the automatic grilles quietly opening.
As Killian Van K. Vanderdynk crept forth from the elevator, Sacharissa's nerves gave way; his, also, seemed to disintegrate; and they stood for some moments mutually supporting each other, during which interval unaccustomed tears fell from the gray eyes, and unaccustomed words, breathed brokenly, reassured her; and, altogether unaccustomed to such things, they presently found themselves seated in a distant corner of the drawing-room, still endeavoring to reassure each other with interclasped hands.
As Killian Van K. Vanderdynk stepped out of the elevator, Sacharissa's nerves broke down; his also seemed to unravel; and they stood for a few moments, leaning on each other. During that time, unexpected tears streamed from her gray eyes, and unfamiliar words, spoken in fragments, comforted her. Having never experienced anything like this before, they soon found themselves sitting in a far corner of the drawing-room, still trying to reassure each other while holding hands tightly.
They said nothing so persistently that the wordless minutes throbbed into hours; through the windows the red west sent a glowing tentacle into the room, searching the gloom for them.
They stayed silent for so long that the quiet moments stretched into hours; through the windows, the red sunset reached into the room like a glowing tentacle, trying to find them in the darkness.
It fell, warm, across her upturned throat, in the half light.
It fell, warm, across her tilted neck, in the dim light.
For her head lay back on his shoulder; his head was bent down, lips pressed to the white hands crushed fragrantly between his own.
For her head rested on his shoulder; he bent down, his lips touching her delicate white hands that were gently held between his own.
A star came out and looked at them with astonishment; in a little while the sky was thronged with little stars, all looking through the window at them.
A star appeared and gazed at them in surprise; before long, the sky was filled with little stars, all peering through the window at them.
Her maid knocked, backed out hastily and fled, distracted. Then Ferdinand arrived with a plumber.
Her maid knocked, quickly stepped back, and hurried away, flustered. Then Ferdinand showed up with a plumber.
Later the butler came. They did not notice him until he ventured to cough and announce dinner.
Later, the butler arrived. They didn't notice him until he cleared his throat and announced that dinner was ready.
The interruptions were very annoying, particularly when she was summoned to the telephone to speak to her father.
The interruptions were really frustrating, especially when she was called to the phone to talk to her dad.
"What is it, dad?" she asked impatiently.
"What is it, Dad?" she asked, feeling impatient.
"Are you all right?"
"Are you okay?"
"Oh, yes," she answered, carelessly; "we are all right, dad. Goodbye."
"Oh, yes," she replied casually. "We're fine, Dad. Goodbye."
"We? Who the devil is 'We'?"
"We? Who on earth is 'We'?"
"Mr. Vanderdynk and I. We're taking my maid and coming down to Tuxedo this evening together. I'm in a hurry now."
"Mr. Vanderdynk and I are bringing my maid and heading down to Tuxedo together this evening. I'm in a hurry right now."
"What!!!"
"Wait, what?!"
"Oh, it's all right, dad. Here, Killian, please explain things to my father."
"Oh, it's fine, Dad. Killian, can you please explain things to my father?"
Vanderdynk released her hand and picked up the receiver as though it had been a live wire.
Vanderdynk let go of her hand and grabbed the receiver like it was a live wire.
"Is that you, Mr. Carr?" he began--stopped short, and stood listening, rigid, bewildered, turning redder and redder as her father's fluency increased. Then, without a word, he hooked up the receiver.
"Is that you, Mr. Carr?" he started—stopped abruptly, and stood there listening, tense and confused, turning redder as her father's speaking grew more fluent. Then, without saying anything, he picked up the receiver.
"Is it all right?" she asked calmly. "Was dad--vivacious?"
"Is everything okay?" she asked calmly. "Was Dad energetic?"
The young man said: "I'd rather go back into that elevator than go to Tuxedo.... But--I'm going."
The young man said, "I'd rather head back into that elevator than go to Tuxedo... But I'm going."
"So am I," said Bushwyck Carr's daughter, dropping both hands on her lover's shoulders.... "Was he really very--vivid?"
"So am I," said Bushwyck Carr's daughter, dropping both hands on her lover's shoulders.... "Was he really very--vivid?"
"Very."
"Super."
The telephone again rang furiously.
The phone rang loudly again.
He bent his head; she lifted her face and he kissed her.
He lowered his head; she raised her face and he kissed her.
After a while the racket of the telephone annoyed them, and they slowly moved away out of hearing.
After a while, the noise of the telephone bothered them, and they gradually moved away so they couldn't hear it anymore.
VIII
"IN HEAVEN AND EARTH"
The Green Mouse Stirs
The Green Mouse Awakens
"I've been waiting half an hour for you," observed Smith, dryly, as Beekman Brown appeared at the subway station, suitcase in hand.
"I've been waiting for you for half an hour," Smith said dryly as Beekman Brown showed up at the subway station, suitcase in hand.
"It was a most extraordinary thing that detained me," said Brown, laughing, and edging his way into the ticket line behind his friend where he could talk to him across his shoulder; "I was just leaving the office, Smithy, when Snuyder came in with a card."
"It was a really strange thing that held me up," said Brown, laughing and sliding into the ticket line behind his friend so he could talk to him over his shoulder. "I was just about to leave the office, Smithy, when Snuyder walked in with a card."
"Oh, all right--of course, if----"
"Oh, fine--of course, if----"
"No, it was not a client; I must be honest with you."
"No, it wasn't a client; I have to be honest with you."
"Then you had a terrible cheek to keep me here waiting."
"Then you had the nerve to make me wait here."
"It was a girl," said Beekman Brown.
"It was a girl," Beekman Brown said.
Smith cast a cold glance back at him over his left shoulder.
Smith threw a chilly look back at him over his left shoulder.
"What kind of a girl?"
"What type of girl?"
"A most extraordinary girl. She came on--on a matter----"
"A truly remarkable girl. She arrived--regarding a matter----"
"Was it business or a touch?"
"Was it business or just a flirt?"
"Not exactly business."
"Not really business."
"Ornamental girl?" demanded Smith.
"Decorative girl?" demanded Smith.
"Yes--exceedingly; but it wasn't that----
"Yes—very much; but it wasn't that—"
"Oh, it was not that which kept you talking to her half an hour while I've sat suffocating in this accursed subway!"
"Oh, it wasn't that which kept you talking to her for half an hour while I've been sitting here suffocating in this terrible subway!"
"No, Smith; her undeniably attractive features and her--ah--winning personality had nothing whatever to do with it. Buy the tickets and I'll tell you all about it."
"No, Smith; her undeniably attractive looks and her—uh—charming personality had nothing to do with it. Buy the tickets and I'll explain everything."
Smith bought two tickets. A north bound train roared into the station. The young men stepped aboard, seated themselves, depositing their suitcases at their feet.
Smith bought two tickets. A northbound train roared into the station. The young men boarded, took their seats, and placed their suitcases at their feet.
"Now what about that winning-looker who really didn't interest you?" suggested Smith in tones made slightly acid by memory of his half hour waiting.
"Now what about that attractive person who really didn't catch your interest?" suggested Smith, his tone a bit sharp from remembering his half hour of waiting.
"Smith, it was a most unusual episode. I was just leaving the office to keep my appointment with you when Snuyder came in with a card----"
"Smith, it was a really strange situation. I was just about to leave the office to meet you when Snuyder walked in with a card----"
"You've said that already."
"You've already said that."
"But I didn't tell you what was on that card, did I?"
"But I didn't tell you what was on that card, did I?"
"I can guess."
"I can assume."
"No, you can't. Her name was not on the card. She was not an agent; she had nothing to sell; she didn't want a position; she didn't ask for a subscription to anything. And what do you suppose was on that card?"
"No, you can't. Her name wasn't on the card. She wasn't an agent; she had nothing to sell; she didn't want a position; she didn't ask for a subscription to anything. And what do you think was on that card?"
"Well, what was on the card, for the love of Mike?" snapped Smith. "I'll tell you. The card seemed to be an ordinary visiting card; but down in one corner was a tiny and beautifully drawn picture of a green mouse."
"Well, what was on the card, for crying out loud?" snapped Smith. "I'll tell you. The card looked like a regular visiting card, but in one corner was a small and beautifully drawn picture of a green mouse."
"A--what?"
"A—what?"
"A mouse."
"A mouse."
"G-green?"
"G-green?"
"Pea green.... Come, now, Smith, if you were just leaving your office and your clerk should come in, looking rather puzzled and silly, and should hand you a card with nothing on it but a little green mouse, wouldn't it give you pause?"
"Pea green.... Come on, Smith, if you were just leaving your office and your assistant walked in, looking a bit confused and silly, and handed you a card with nothing on it but a little green mouse, wouldn't it make you stop and think?"
"I suppose so."
"I guess so."
Brown removed his straw hat, touched his handsome head with his handkerchief, and continued:
Brown took off his straw hat, wiped his attractive head with his handkerchief, and went on:
"I said to Snuyder: 'What the mischief is this?' He said: 'It's for you. And there's an exceedingly pretty girl outside who expects you to receive her for a few moments.' I said: 'But what has this card with a green mouse on it got to do with that girl or with me?' Snuyder said he didn't know and that I'd better ask her. So I looked at my watch and I thought of you----"
"I said to Snuyder, 'What the heck is this?' He replied, 'It's for you. And there's a really pretty girl outside who’s waiting for you to see her for a bit.' I asked, 'But what does this card with a green mouse have to do with her or me?' Snuyder said he didn’t know and suggested I should ask her. So I checked my watch and thought of you----"
"Yes, you did."
"Yep, you did."
"I tell you I did. Then I looked at the card with the green mouse on it.... And I want to ask you frankly, Smith, what would you have done?"
"I’m telling you I did. Then I looked at the card with the green mouse on it... And I want to ask you honestly, Smith, what would you have done?"
"Oh, what you did, I suppose," replied Smith, wearily. "Go on."
"Oh, I guess I know what you did," Smith replied, tiredly. "Go ahead."
"I'm going. She entered----"
"I'm leaving. She walked in----"
"She was tall and squeenly; you probably forgot that," observed Smith in his most objectionable manner.
"She was tall and slender; you probably forgot that," Smith remarked in his most annoying way.
"Probably not; she was of medium height, as a detail of external interest. But, although rather unusually attractive in a merely superficial and physical sense, it was instantly evident from her speech and bearing, that, in her, intellect dominated; her mind, Smithy, reigned serene, unsullied, triumphant over matter."
"Probably not; she was of average height, which was an interesting detail. But even though she was somewhat unusually good-looking in a purely superficial way, it was clear from the way she spoke and carried herself that her intellect was what really set her apart; her mind, Smithy, ruled confidently, untouched and victorious over the physical."
Smith looked up in amazement, but Brown, a reminiscent smile lighting his face, went on:
Smith looked up in surprise, but Brown, a nostalgic smile brightening his face, continued:
"She had a very winsome manner--a way of speaking--so prettily in earnest, so grave. And she looked squarely at me all the time----"
"She had a really charming way about her—a way of speaking—so genuinely serious, so sincere. And she stared straight at me the whole time----"
"So you contributed to the Home for Unemployed Patagonians."
"So you helped out at the Home for Unemployed Patagonians."
"Would you mind shutting up?" asked Brown.
"Could you please be quiet?" Brown asked.
"No."
"No."
"Then try to listen respectfully. She began by explaining the significance of that pea-green mouse on the card. It seems, Smith, that there is a scientific society called The Green Mouse, composed of a few people who have determined to apply, practically, certain theories which they believe have commercial value."
"Then try to listen respectfully. She started by explaining the meaning of that pea-green mouse on the card. It seems, Smith, that there’s a scientific group called The Green Mouse, made up of a few people who have decided to practically apply certain theories they believe have commercial value."
"Was she," inquired Smith with misleading politeness, "what is known as an 'astrologist'?"
"Was she," Smith asked with fake politeness, "what you'd call an 'astrologer'?"
"She was not. She is the president, I believe, of The Green Mouse Society. She explained to me that it has been indisputably proven that the earth is not only enveloped by those invisible electric currents which are now used instead of wires to carry telegraphic messages, but that this world of ours is also belted by countless psychic currents which go whirling round the earth----"
"She wasn’t. I believe she is the president of The Green Mouse Society. She explained to me that it's been clearly proven that the Earth is not only surrounded by those invisible electric currents now used to transmit telegraphic messages without wires, but that our world is also surrounded by countless psychic currents that swirl around the Earth----"
"What kind of currents?"
"What type of currents?"
"Psychic."
"Psychic."
"Which circle the earth?"
"Which circles the Earth?"
"Exactly. If you want to send a wireless message you hitch on to a current, don't you?--or you tap it--or something. Now, they have discovered that each one of these numberless millions of psychic currents passes through two, living, human entities of opposite sex; that, for example, all you have got to do to communicate with the person who is on the same psychical current that you are, is to attune your subconscious self to a given intensity and pitch, and it will be like communication by telephone, no matter how far apart you are."
"Exactly. If you want to send a wireless message, you connect to a current, right? Or you tap into it—or something like that. Now, they’ve found out that each of these countless psychic currents flows through two living human beings of opposite sexes; that, for example, all you need to do to communicate with someone who is on the same psychic current as you is to tune your subconscious self to a specific intensity and frequency, and it will be just like talking on the phone, no matter how far apart you are."
"Brown!"
"Brown!"
"What?"
"What?"
"Did she go to your office to tell you that sort of--of--information?"
"Did she come to your office to share that kind of information?"
"Partly. She was perfectly charming about it. She explained to me that all nature is divided into predestined pairs, and that somewhere, at some time, either here on earth or in some of the various future existences, this predestined pair is certain to meet and complete the universal scheme as it has been planned. Do you understand, Smithy?"
"Partly. She was really charming about it. She explained to me that all of nature is divided into destined pairs, and that somewhere, at some time, whether here on earth or in some future life, these destined pairs are bound to meet and fulfill the universal plan as it was intended. Do you get it, Smithy?"
Smith sat silent and reflective for a while, then:
Smith sat quietly, deep in thought for a bit, then:
"You say that her theory is that everybody owns one of those psychic currents?"
"You say her theory is that everyone has one of those psychic currents?"
"Yes."
Yes.
"I am on a private psychic current whirling around this globe?"
"I’m on a private psychic wave spinning around this planet?"
"Sure."
"Okay."
"And some--ah--young girl is at the other end?"
"And some, uh, young girl is at the other end?"
"Sure thing."
"Of course."
"Then if I could only get hold of my end of the wire I could--ah--call her up?"
"Then if I could just grab my end of the wire, I could--oh--call her up?"
"I believe that's the idea."
"I think that's the idea."
"And--she's for muh?"
"And she's for me?"
"So they say."
"So they say."
"Is--is there any way to get a look at her first?"
"Is there any way to see her first?"
"You'd have to take her anyway, sometime."
"You'd have to take her at some point."
"But suppose I didn't like her?"
"But what if I didn't like her?"
The two young men sat laughing for a few moments, then Brown went on:
The two young guys sat laughing for a few moments, then Brown continued:
"You see, Smith, my interview with her was such a curious episode that about all I did was to listen to what she was saying, so I don't know how details are worked out. She explained to me that The Green Mouse Society has just been formed, not only for the purpose of psychical research, but for applying practically and using commercially the discovery of the psychic currents. That's what The Green Mouse is trying to do: form itself into a company and issue stocks and bonds----"
"You see, Smith, my interview with her was such a strange experience that I mostly just listened to what she was saying, so I’m not sure how the details are figured out. She told me that The Green Mouse Society has just been created, not just for psychical research, but also to practically apply and commercially use the discovery of psychic currents. That's what The Green Mouse is trying to do: turn itself into a company and issue stocks and bonds----"
"What?"
"What’s up?"
"Certainly. It sounds like a madman's dream at first, but when you come to look into it--for instance, think of the millions of clients such a company would have. As example, a young man, ready for marriage, goes to The Green Mouse and pays a fee. The Green Mouse sorts out, identifies, and intercepts the young man's own particular current, hitches his subconscious self to it, and zip!--he's at one end of an invisible telephone and the only girl on earth is at the other.... What's the matter with their making a quick date for an introduction?"
"Sure thing. It sounds like the fantasy of a madman at first, but when you really think about it—just consider the millions of clients such a company could have. For example, a young man who's ready to get married visits The Green Mouse and pays a fee. The Green Mouse sorts through, identifies, and connects with the young man's specific vibe, links his subconscious to it, and boom!—he's on one end of an invisible phone line and the only girl in the world is on the other... So what's the harm in setting up a quick date for an introduction?"
Smith said slowly: "Do you mean to tell me that any sane person came to you in your office with a proposition to take stock in such an enterprise?"
Smith said slowly, "Are you really telling me that any sane person came to you in your office with a proposal to invest in that kind of business?"
"She did not even suggest it."
"She didn’t even bring it up."
"What did she want, then?"
"What did she want?"
"She wanted," said Brown, "a perfectly normal, unimaginative business man who would volunteer to permit The Green Mouse Society to sort out his psychic current, attach him to it, and see what would happen."
"She wanted," said Brown, "a completely ordinary, uncreative businessman who would willingly let The Green Mouse Society analyze his psychic energy, connect him to it, and find out what would happen."
"She wants to experiment on you?"
"She wants to experiment on you?"
"So I understand."
"I get it."
"And--you're not going to let her, are you?"
"And—you’re not going to let her, are you?"
"Why not?"
"Why not?"
"Because it's--it's idiotic!" said Smith, warmly. "I don't believe in such things--you don't, either--nobody does--but, all the same, you can't be perfectly sure in these days what devilish sort of game you might be up against."
"Because it's—it's ridiculous!" said Smith, passionately. "I don't believe in that stuff—you don't, either—nobody does—but still, you can't be completely sure these days what kind of crazy game you might be facing."
Brown smiled. "I told her, very politely, that I found it quite impossible to believe in such things; and she was awfully nice about it, and said it didn't matter what I believed. It seems that my name was chosen by chance--they opened the Telephone Directory at random and she, blindfolded, made a pencil mark on the margin opposite one of the names on the page. It happened to be my name. That's all."
Brown smiled. "I told her, really politely, that I couldn't possibly believe in stuff like that; and she was super nice about it, saying it didn’t matter what I believed. Apparently, my name was picked randomly—they just opened the Phone Book at random and she, with her eyes closed, made a pencil mark in the margin next to one of the names on the page. It just happened to be my name. That's it."
"Wouldn't let her do it!" said Smith, seriously.
"Wouldn't let her do it!" Smith said, seriously.
"Why not, as long as there's absolutely nothing in it? Besides, if it pleases her to have a try why shouldn't she? Besides, I haven't the slightest intention or desire to woo or wed anybody, and I'd like to see anybody make me."
"Why not, as long as there's really nothing in it? Plus, if it makes her happy to give it a shot, why shouldn’t she? Also, I have no intention or desire to pursue or marry anyone, and I’d like to see anyone try to make me."
"Do you mean to say that you told her to go ahead?"
"Are you saying that you told her to go for it?"
"Certainly," said Brown serenely. "And she thanked me very prettily. She's well bred--exceptionally."
"Of course," Brown said calmly. "And she thanked me very nicely. She's really well-mannered—exceptionally."
"Oh! Then what did you do?"
"Oh! So what did you do?"
"We talked a little while."
"We chatted for a bit."
"About what?"
"What about?"
"Well, for instance, I mentioned that curiously-baffling sensation which comes over everybody at times--the sudden conviction that everything that you say and do has been said and done by you before--somewhere. Do you understand?"
"Well, for example, I pointed out that strange, confusing feeling that hits everyone from time to time—the sudden belief that everything you say and do has been said and done by you before—somewhere. Do you get what I mean?"
"Oh, yes."
"Yes."
"And she smiled and said that such sensations were merely echoes from the invisible psychic wire, and that repetitions from some previous incarnation were not unusual, particularly when the other person through whom the psychic current passed, was near by."
"And she smiled and said that those feelings were just echoes from an invisible psychic connection, and that repetitions from a past life weren’t uncommon, especially when the other person through whom the psychic energy flowed was close by."
"You mean to say that when a fellow has that queer feeling that it has all happened before, the--the predestined girl is somewhere in your neighborhood?"
"You’re saying that when someone gets that strange feeling that everything has happened before, the— the destined girl is somewhere near you?"
"That is what my pretty informant told me."
"That’s what my cute source told me."
"Who," asked Smith, "is this pretty informant?"
"Who," Smith asked, "is this attractive informant?"
"She asked permission to withhold her name."
"She asked if she could keep her name private."
"Didn't she ask you to subscribe?"
"Didn't she ask you to sign up?"
"No; she merely asked for the use of my name as reference for future clients if The Green Mouse Society was successful in my case."
"No; she just asked to use my name as a reference for future clients if The Green Mouse Society was successful with my case."
"What did you say?"
"What did you say?"
Brown laughed. "I said that if any individual or group of individuals could induce me, within a year, to fall in love with and pay court to any living specimen of human woman I'd cheerfully admit it from the house- tops and take pleasure in recommending The Green Mouse to everybody I knew who yet remained unmarried."
Brown laughed. "I said that if anyone or any group could make me, within a year, fall in love with and pursue any living woman, I would happily shout it from the rooftops and enjoy recommending The Green Mouse to everyone I knew who was still single."
They both laughed.
They both laughed.
"What rot we've been talking," observed Smith, rising and picking up his suitcase. "Here's our station, and we'd better hustle or we'll lose the boat. I wouldn't miss that week-end party for the world!"
"What nonsense we've been talking," said Smith, getting up and grabbing his suitcase. "Here's our station, and we better hurry or we'll miss the boat. I wouldn't miss that weekend party for anything!"
"Neither would I," said Beekman Brown.
"Me neither," said Beekman Brown.
IX
A CROSS-TOWN CAR
Concerning the Sudden Madness of One Brown
About the Sudden Madness of One Brown
As the two young fellows, carrying their suitcases, emerged from the subway at Times Square into the midsummer glare and racket of Broadway and Forty-second Street, Brown suddenly halted, pressed his hand to his forehead, gazed earnestly up at the sky as though trying to recollect how to fly, then abruptly gripped Smith's left arm just above the elbow and squeezed it, causing the latter gentleman exquisite discomfort.
As the two young guys, carrying their suitcases, came out of the subway at Times Square into the summer sun and noise of Broadway and 42nd Street, Brown suddenly stopped, put his hand to his forehead, looked up at the sky as if trying to remember how to fly, then quickly grabbed Smith's left arm just above the elbow and squeezed it, causing Smith some serious discomfort.
"Here! Stop it!" protested Smith, wriggling with annoyance.
"Stop it!" Smith protested, squirming with irritation.
Brown only gazed at him and then at the sky.
Brown just looked at him and then up at the sky.
"Stop it!" repeated Smith, astonished. "Why do you pinch me and then look at the sky? Is--is a monoplane attempting to alight on me? What is the matter with you, anyway?"
"Stop it!" Smith said again, stunned. "Why are you pinching me and then staring at the sky? Is--is a monoplane trying to land on me? What is wrong with you, anyway?"
"That peculiar consciousness," said Brown, dreamily, "is creeping over me. Don't move--don't speak--don't interrupt me, Smith."
"That strange feeling," Brown said, lost in thought, "is washing over me. Don’t move—don’t say anything—don’t interrupt me, Smith."
"Let go of me!" retorted Smith.
"Let go of me!" Smith shot back.
"Hush! Wait! It's certainly creeping over me."
"Hush! Wait! It's definitely creeping up on me."
"What's creeping over you?"
"What's bothering you?"
"You know what I mean. I am experiencing that strange feeling that all-- er--all this--has happened before."
"You know what I mean. I'm feeling that weird sensation that all--uh--all this--has happened before."
"All what?--confound it!"
"All what?—damn it!"
"All this! My standing, on a hot summer day, in the infernal din of some great city; and--and I seem to recall it vividly--after a fashion-- the blazing sun, the stifling odor of the pavements; I seem to remember that very hackman over there sponging the nose of his horse--even that pushcart piled up with peaches! Smith! What is this maddeningly elusive memory that haunts me--haunts me with the peculiar idea that it has all occurred before?... Do you know what I mean?"
"All this! Here I am, standing on a hot summer day in the chaos of some big city; and--I think I remember it clearly--in a way--the blazing sun, the suffocating smell of the pavement; I remember that taxi driver over there wiping the nose of his horse—even that pushcart stacked with peaches! Smith! What is this frustratingly elusive memory that keeps bothering me—bothering me with the strange feeling that it has all happened before?... Do you know what I mean?"
"I've just admitted to you that everybody has that sort of fidget occasionally, and there's no reason to stand on your hindlegs about it. Come on or we'll miss our train."
"I just admitted to you that everyone gets fidgety sometimes, and there’s no reason to get upset about it. Let’s go or we'll miss our train."
But Beekman Brown remained stock still, his youthful and attractive features puckered in a futile effort to seize the evanescent memories that came swarming--gnatlike memories that teased and distracted.
But Beekman Brown stayed completely still, his young and handsome face twisted in a pointless attempt to grasp the fleeting memories that buzzed around him—like annoying gnats, these memories teased and distracted him.
"It's as if the entire circumstances were strangely familiar," he said; "as though everything that you and I do and say had once before been done and said by us under precisely similar conditions--somewhere--sometime."
"It's like the whole situation feels oddly familiar," he said; "as if everything you and I do and say has been done and said by us before under exactly the same conditions—somewhere—sometime."
"We'll miss that boat at the foot of Forty-second Street," cut in Smith impatiently. "And if we miss the boat we lose our train."
"We're going to miss that boat at the end of Forty-second Street," Smith interrupted impatiently. "And if we miss the boat, we'll lose our train."
Brown gazed skyward.
Brown looked up.
"I never felt this feeling so strongly in all my life," he muttered; "it's--it's astonishing. Why, Smith, I knew you were going to say that."
"I've never felt this way so intensely in my entire life," he muttered; "it's--it's amazing. You know, Smith, I knew you were going to say that."
"Say what?" demanded Smith.
"What did you say?" demanded Smith.
"That we would miss the boat and the train. Isn't it funny?"
"That we would miss the boat and the train. Isn’t that hilarious?"
"Oh, very. I'll say it again sometime if it amuses you; but, meanwhile, as we're going to that week-end at the Carringtons we'd better get into a taxi and hustle for the foot of West Forty-second Street. Is there anything very funny in that?"
"Oh, definitely. I'll repeat it sometime if it makes you laugh; but, for now, since we're heading to the Carringtons this weekend, we should grab a taxi and rush to the bottom of West Forty-second Street. Is there anything really funny about that?"
"I knew that, too. I knew you'd say we must take a taxi!" insisted Brown, astonished at his own "clairvoyance."
"I knew that, too. I knew you'd say we should take a taxi!" insisted Brown, amazed by his own "clairvoyance."
"Now, look here," retorted Smith, thoroughly vexed; "up to five minutes ago you were reasonable. What the devil's the matter with you, Beekman Brown?"
"Now, listen," Smith shot back, clearly annoyed; "just five minutes ago you were being reasonable. What the heck is wrong with you, Beekman Brown?"
"James Vanderdynk Smith, I don't know. Good Heavens! I knew you were going to say that to me, and that I was going to answer that way!"
"James Vanderdynk Smith, I don't know. Goodness! I knew you were going to say that to me, and that I was going to respond like that!"
"Are you coming or are you going to talk foolish on this broiling curbstone the rest of the afternoon?" inquired Smith, fiercely.
"Are you coming, or are you just going to talk nonsense on this hot curb for the rest of the afternoon?" Smith asked fiercely.
"Jim, I tell you that everything we've done and said in the last five minutes we have done and said before--somewhere--perhaps on some other planet; perhaps centuries ago when you and I were Romans and wore togas----"
"Jim, I’m telling you that everything we’ve said and done in the last five minutes has happened before—somewhere—maybe on another planet; maybe centuries ago when you and I were Romans and wore togas----"
"Confound it! What do I care," shouted Smith, "whether we were Romans and wore togas? We are due this century at a house party on this planet. They expect us on this train. Are you coming? If not--kindly relax that crablike clutch on my elbow before partial paralysis ensues."
"Ugh! What do I care," shouted Smith, "if we were Romans wearing togas? We have a house party to get to this century on this planet. They expect us to be on this train. Are you coming? If not--please ease that crablike grip on my elbow before I get partially paralyzed."
"Smith, wait! I tell you this is somehow becoming strangely portentous. I've got the funniest sensation that something is going to happen to me."
"Smith, wait! I swear this is starting to feel pretty ominous. I have this weird feeling that something's going to happen to me."
"It will," said Smith, dangerously, "if you don't let go my elbow."
"It will," Smith said, dangerously, "if you don’t let go of my elbow."
But Beekman Brown, a prey to increasing excitement, clung to his friend.
But Beekman Brown, feeling more and more excited, held onto his friend.
"Wait just one moment, Jim; something remarkable is likely to occur! I--I never before felt this way--so strongly--in all my life. Something extraordinary is certainly about to happen to me."
"Just a second, Jim; something amazing is about to happen! I’ve never felt this way—so intensely—in my entire life. Something incredible is definitely going to happen to me."
"It has happened," said his friend, coldly; "you've gone dippy. Also, we've lost that train. Do you understand?"
"It’s happened," his friend said coldly; "you’ve lost it. Plus, we’ve missed that train. Do you get it?"
"I knew we would. Isn't that curious? I--I believe I can almost tell you what else is going to happen to us."
"I knew we would. Isn't that interesting? I—I think I can almost predict what else is going to happen to us."
"I'll tell you," hissed Smith; "it's an ambulance for yours and ding-dong to the funny-house! What are you trying to do now?" With real misgiving, for Brown, balanced on the edge of the gutter, began waving his arms in a birdlike way as though about to launch himself into aerial flight across Forty-second Street.
"I swear," Smith said in a hissing voice, "it's a ride to the hospital for you, and then straight to the loony bin! What are you up to now?" With genuine worry, as Brown teetered on the edge of the gutter, he started flapping his arms like a bird, as if he was about to take off into the air across Forty-second Street.
"The car!" he exclaimed excitedly, "the cherry-colored cross-town car! Where is it? Do you see it anywhere, Smith?"
"The car!" he exclaimed excitedly, "the cherry-red cross-town car! Where is it? Do you see it anywhere, Smith?"
"What? What do you mean? There's no cross-town car in sight. Brown, don't act like that! Don't be foolish! What on earth----"
"What? What do you mean? There's no cab in sight. Brown, don't act like that! Don't be stupid! What on earth----"
"It's coming! There's a car coming!" cried Brown.
"It's coming! There's a car coming!" shouted Brown.
"Do you think you're a racing runabout and I'm a curve?"
"Do you think you're a speedboat and I'm just a turn?"
Brown waved him away impatiently.
Brown waved him off impatiently.
"I tell you that something most astonishing is going to occur--in a cherry-colored tram car.... And somehow there'll be some reason for me to get into it."
"I’m telling you that something really amazing is going to happen--in a cherry-colored tram car.... And somehow, there will be a reason for me to get on it."
"Into what?"
"Into what?"
"Into that cherry-colored car, because--because--there'll be a wicker basket in it--somebody holding a wicker basket--and there'll be--there'll be--a--a--white summer gown--and a big white hat----"
"Into that cherry-colored car, because--because--there's going to be a wicker basket in it--somebody holding a wicker basket--and there'll be--there'll be--a--a--white summer dress--and a big white hat----"
Smith stared at his friend in grief and amazement. Brown stood balancing himself on the gutter's edge, pale, rapt, uttering incoherent prophecy concerning the advent of a car not yet visible anywhere in the immediate metropolitan vista.
Smith looked at his friend with a mix of sorrow and disbelief. Brown was standing on the edge of the gutter, looking pale and entranced, mumbling unclear predictions about a car that wasn’t anywhere in sight in the surrounding city landscape.
"Old man," began Smith with emotion, "I think you had better come very quietly somewhere with me. I--I want to show you something pretty and nice."
"Old man," Smith said with feeling, "I think you should come with me somewhere quietly. I--I want to show you something lovely."
"Hark!" exclaimed Brown.
"Hey!" exclaimed Brown.
"Sure, I'll hark for you," said Smith, soothingly, "or I'll bark for you if you like, or anything if you'll just come quietly."
"Sure, I'll listen for you," said Smith gently, "or I'll shout for you if you want, or do anything if you'll just come quietly."
"The cherry-colored car!" cried Brown, laboring under tremendous emotion. "Look, Smithy! That is the car!"
"The cherry-colored car!" shouted Brown, overwhelmed with emotion. "Look, Smithy! That’s the car!"
"Sure, it is! I see it, old man. They run 'em every five minutes. What the devil is there to astonish anybody about a cross-town cruiser with a red water line?"
"Of course it is! I see it, old man. They run them every five minutes. What on earth is so surprising about a cross-town cruiser with a red water line?"
"Look!" insisted Brown, now almost beside himself. "The wicker basket! The summer gown! Exactly as I foretold it! The big straw hat!--the--the girl!"
"Look!" Brown urged, now nearly frantic. "The wicker basket! The summer dress! Just like I predicted! The big straw hat!--the--the girl!"
And shoving Smith violently away he galloped after the cherry-colored car, caught it, swung himself aboard, and sank triumphant and breathless into the transverse seat behind that occupied by a wicker basket, a filmy summer frock, a big, white straw hat, and--a girl--the most amazingly pretty girl he had ever laid eyes on. After him, headlong, like a distracted chicken, rushed Smith and alighted beside him, panting, menacing.
And after shoving Smith roughly aside, he raced after the cherry-colored car, caught up with it, jumped on board, and sank down, triumphant and out of breath, into the seat behind a wicker basket, a lightweight summer dress, a large white straw hat, and—a girl—the most incredibly pretty girl he had ever seen. Smith followed right behind him, like a frantic chicken, and landed next to him, panting and looking threatening.
"Wha'--dyeh--board--this--car--for!" he gasped, sliding fiercely up beside Brown. "Get off or I'll drag you off!"
"Wha'--dyeh--board--this--car--for!" he exclaimed, pushing himself aggressively next to Brown. "Get off or I'll pull you off!"
But Brown only shook his head with an infatuated smile.
But Brown just shook his head with a lovesick smile.
"Is it that girl?" said Smith, incensed. "Are you a--a Broadway Don Juan, or are you a respectable lawyer with a glimmering sense of common decency and an intention to keep a social engagement at the Carringtons' to-day?"
"Is it that girl?" Smith said, angry. "Are you a— a Broadway Don Juan, or are you a respectable lawyer with a sense of common decency and planning to keep a social engagement at the Carringtons' today?"
And Smith drew out his timepiece and flourished it furiously under Brown's handsome and sun-tanned nose.
And Smith pulled out his watch and waved it dramatically under Brown's attractive, sun-kissed nose.
But Brown only slid along the seat away from him, saying:
But Brown just scooted away from him in the seat, saying:
"Don't bother me, Jim; this is too momentous a crisis in my life to have a well-intentioned but intellectually dwarfed friend butting into me and running about under foot."
"Don't bother me, Jim; this is too important a crisis in my life to have a well-meaning but intellectually challenged friend interfering and getting in my way."
"Intellectually d-d--do you mean me?" asked Smith, unable to believe his ears. "Do you?"
"Intellectually d-d--do you mean me?" asked Smith, struggling to believe what he was hearing. "Do you?"
"Yes, I do! Because a miracle suddenly happens to me on Forty-second Street, and you, with your mind of a stockbroker, unable to appreciate it, come clattering and clamoring after me about a house party--a common-place, every-day, social appointment, when I have a full-blown miracle on my hands!"
"Yes, I do! Because a miracle suddenly happens to me on Forty-second Street, and you, with your stockbroker mindset, can't appreciate it, come rushing after me about a house party—a typical, everyday social event, when I have a full-blown miracle in front of me!"
"What miracle?" faltered Smith, stupefied.
"What miracle?" Smith stammered, bewildered.
"What miracle? Haven't I been telling you that I've been having that queer sense that all this has happened before? Didn't I suddenly begin-- as though compelled by some unseen power--to foretell things? Didn't I prophesy the coming of this cross-town car? Didn't I even name its color before it came into sight? Didn't I warn you that I'd probably get into it? Didn't I reveal to you that a big straw hat and a pretty summer gown----"
"What miracle? Haven't I been saying that I have this strange feeling that all of this has happened before? Didn't I suddenly start—like I was pushed by some invisible force—to predict things? Didn't I predict the arrival of this cross-town car? Didn't I even say what color it would be before it appeared? Didn't I warn you that I would probably get on it? Didn't I tell you about a big straw hat and a nice summer dress—"
"Confound it!" almost shouted Smith, "There are about five thousand cherry-colored cross-town cars in this town. There are about five million white hats and dresses in this borough. There are five billion girls wearing 'em----!" "Yes; but the wicker basket" breathed Brown. "How do you account for that?... And, anyway, you annoy me, Smith. Why don't you get out of the car and go somewhere?"
"Dammit!" almost shouted Smith, "There are about five thousand cherry-colored cross-town cars in this town. There are about five million white hats and dresses in this borough. There are five billion girls wearing them—!" "Yeah; but the wicker basket" gasped Brown. "How do you explain that?... And anyway, you're annoying me, Smith. Why don't you get out of the car and go somewhere?"
"I want to know where you are going before I knock your head off."
"I need to know where you're headed before I knock your block off."
"I don't know," replied Brown, serenely.
"I don't know," Brown replied calmly.
"Are you actually attempting to follow that girl?" whispered Smith, horrified.
"Are you seriously trying to follow that girl?" whispered Smith, horrified.
"Yes.... It sounds low, doesn't it? But it really isn't. It is something I can't explain--you couldn't understand even if I tried to enlighten you. The sentiment I harbor is too lofty for some to comprehend, too vague, too pure, too ethereal for----"
"Yes... It sounds low, right? But it really isn't. It's something I can't explain—you wouldn't get it even if I tried to clarify. The feeling I hold is too elevated for some to understand, too unclear, too pure, too intangible for----"
"I'm as lofty and ethereal as you are!" retorted Smith, hotly. "And I know a--an ethereal Lothario when I see him, too!"
"I'm as high and dreamy as you are!" Smith shot back, angrily. "And I can spot a—well, a dreamy Lothario when I see one, too!"
"I'm not--though it looks like it--and I forgive you, Smithy, for losing your temper and using such language."
"I'm not—though it seems that way—and I forgive you, Smithy, for losing your cool and using that kind of language."
"Oh, you do?" said Smith, grinning with rage.
"Oh, you do?" Smith said, grinning with anger.
"Yes," nodded Brown, kindly. "I forgive you, but don't call me that again. You mean well, but I'm going to find out at last what all this maddening, tantalizing, unexplained and mysterious feeling that it all has occurred before really is. I'm going to trace it to its source; I'm going to compare notes with this highly intelligent girl."
"Yes," Brown nodded kindly. "I forgive you, but don’t call me that again. You mean well, but I’m finally going to figure out what this frustrating, intriguing, unexplained, and mysterious feeling that it’s all happened before really is. I’m going to track it down to its source; I’m going to compare notes with this very smart girl."
"You're going to speak to her?"
"You're going to talk to her?"
"I am. I must. How else can I compare data."
"I am. I have to. How else can I compare the data?"
"I hope she'll call the police. If she doesn't I will."
"I hope she'll call the police. If she doesn't, I will."
"Don't worry. She's part of this strange situation. She'll comprehend as soon as I begin to explain. She is intelligent; you only have to look at her to understand that."
"Don't worry. She's part of this strange situation. She'll get it as soon as I start explaining. She's smart; you just have to look at her to see that."
Smith choking with impotent fury, nevertheless ventured a swift glance. Her undeniable beauty only exasperated him. "To think--to think," he burst out, "that a modest, decent, law-loving business man like me should suddenly awake to find his boyhood friend had turned into a godless votary of Venus!"
Smith, choked with helpless rage, still took a quick look. Her undeniable beauty only frustrated him even more. "To think— to think," he exclaimed, "that a humble, decent, law-abiding businessman like me should suddenly wake up to find his childhood friend has turned into a godless worshipper of Venus!"
"I'm not a votary of Venus!" retorted Brown, turning pink. "I'll punch you if you say it again. I'm as decent and respectable a business man as you are! And my grammar is better. And, thank Heaven! I've intellect enough to recognize a miracle when it happens to me.... Do you think I am capable of harboring any sentiments that might bring the blush of coquetry to the cheek of modesty? Do you?"
"I'm not a follower of Venus!" Brown shot back, blushing. "I'll hit you if you say that again. I'm just as decent and respectable a businessman as you are! And my grammar is better. And thank God! I have enough intelligence to recognize a miracle when it happens to me.... Do you really think I'm capable of having any feelings that would make modesty blush with flirtation? Do you?"
"Well--well, I don't know what you're up to!" Smith raised his voice in bewilderment and despair. "I don't know what possesses you to act this way. People don't experience miracles in New York cross-town cars. The wildest stretch of imagination could only make a coincidence out of this. There are trillions of girls in cross-town cars dressed just like this one."
"Well—well, I have no idea what you're doing!" Smith raised his voice in confusion and frustration. "I don’t understand why you’re acting like this. People don’t have miracles happen to them on New York cross-town buses. The wildest imagination could only turn this into a coincidence. There are millions of girls in cross-town buses dressed exactly like this one."
"But the basket!"
"But the basket!"
"Another coincidence. There are quadrillions of wicker baskets."
"Another coincidence. There are quadrillions of wicker baskets."
"Not," said Brown, "with the contents of this one."
"Not," Brown said, "with what's in this one."
"Why not?"
"Why not?"
Smith instinctively turned to look at the basket balanced daintily on the girl's knees.
Smith instinctively turned to look at the basket delicately balanced on the girl's knees.
He strove to penetrate its wicker exterior with concentrated gaze. He could see nothing but wicker.
He tried to look through its wicker surface with intense focus. All he could see was wicker.
"Well," he began angrily, "what is in that basket? And how do you know it--you lunatic?"
"Well," he started angrily, "what is in that basket? And how do you know that--you crazy person?"
"Will you believe me if I tell you?"
"Will you believe me if I say this?"
"If you can offer any corroborative evidence----"
"If you can provide any supporting evidence----"
"Well, then--there's a cat in that basket."
"Well, there’s a cat in that basket."
"A--what?"
"A--what now?"
"A cat."
"A cat."
"How do you know?"
"How do you know that?"
"I don't know how I know, but there's a big, gray cat in that basket."
"I’m not sure how I know this, but there’s a big gray cat in that basket."
"Why a gray one?"
"Why a gray one?"
"I can't tell, but it is gray, and it has six toes on every foot."
"I can't tell, but it is gray, and it has six toes on each foot."
Smith truly felt that he was now being trifled with.
Smith genuinely felt that he was now being messed with.
"Brown," he said, trying to speak civilly, "if anybody in the five boroughs had come to me with affidavits and told me yesterday how you were going to behave this morning----"
"Brown," he said, trying to keep it polite, "if anyone in the five boroughs had come to me with affidavits and told me yesterday how you were going to act this morning----"
His voice, rising unconsciously as the realization of his outrageous wrongs dawned upon him, rang out above the rattle and grinding of the car, and the girl turned abruptly and looked straight at him and then at Brown.
His voice, rising without him realizing it as he recognized the extent of his terrible mistakes, cut through the noise of the car. The girl turned suddenly and looked directly at him and then at Brown.
The pure, fearless beauty of the gaze, the violet eyes widening a little in surprise, silenced both young men.
The pure, fearless beauty of her gaze, the violet eyes widening slightly in surprise, silenced both young men.
She inspected Brown for an instant, then turned serenely to her calm contemplation of the crowded street once more. Yet her dainty, close-set ears looked as though they were listening.
She glanced at Brown for a moment, then turned back to peacefully observe the busy street. However, her delicate, closely spaced ears seemed to be listening intently.
The young men gazed at one another.
The young men looked at each other.
"That girl is well bred," said Smith in a low, agitated voice. "You--you wouldn't think of venturing to speak to her!"
"That girl is well-bred," Smith said in a low, nervous voice. "You—you wouldn’t even think about approaching her!"
"I'm obliged to, I tell you! This all happened before. I recognize everything as it occurs.... Even to your making a general nuisance of yourself."
"I'm telling you, I'm really stuck with this! This has all happened before. I see everything as it happens... Even when you’re being a complete pain."
Smith straightened up.
Smith stood up.
"I'm going to push you forcibly from this car. Do you remember that incident?"
"I'm going to shove you out of this car. Do you remember that incident?"
"No," said Brown with conviction, "that incident did not happen. You only threatened to do it. I remember now."
"No," Brown said firmly, "that incident didn’t happen. You just threatened to do it. I remember now."
In spite of himself Smith felt a slight chill creep up over his neck and inconvenience his spine.
In spite of himself, Smith felt a slight chill creep up his neck and bother his spine.
He said, deeply agitated: "What a terrible position for me to be in--with a friend suddenly gone mad in the streets of New York and running after a basket containing what he believes to be a cat. A Cat! Good----"
He said, clearly upset: "What a terrible situation for me to be in—having a friend suddenly go crazy in the streets of New York and chasing after a basket that he thinks has a cat in it. A Cat! Great----"
Brown gripped his arm. "Watch it!" he breathed.
Brown grabbed his arm. "Watch it!" he said quietly.
The lid of the basket tilted a little, between lid and rim a soft, furry, six-toed gray paw was thrust out. Then a plaintive voice said, "Meow-w!"
The lid of the basket tilted slightly, and a soft, furry, six-toed gray paw poked out from between the lid and the rim. Then a sad voice said, "Meow-w!"
X
THE LID OFF
An Alliance, Offensive, Defensive, and Back-Fensive
An Alliance, Offensive, Defensive, and Back-Fensive
Smith, petrified, looked blankly at the paw.
Smith, frozen with fear, stared blankly at the paw.
For a while he remained stupidly incapable of speech or movement, then, as though arousing from a bad dream:
For a while, he stayed in a daze, unable to speak or move. Then, as if waking up from a bad dream:
"What are you going to do, anyway?" he asked with an effort. "This car is bound to stop sometime, I suppose, and--and then what?"
"What are you going to do, anyway?" he asked with some difficulty. "This car has to stop eventually, I guess, and--and then what?"
"I don't know what I'm going to do. Whatever I do will be the thing that ought to happen to me, to that cat and to that girl--that is the thing which is destined to happen. That's all I know about it."
"I have no idea what I'm going to do. Whatever I choose will be what’s meant to happen to me, to that cat, and to that girl—that’s just how it's supposed to go. That’s all I know about it."
His friend passed an unsteady hand across his brow.
His friend wiped his forehead with a shaky hand.
"This whole proceeding is becoming a nightmare," he said unsteadily. "Am I awake? Is this Forty-second Street? Hold up some fingers, Brown, and let me guess how many you hold up, and if I guess wrong I'm home in bed asleep and the whole thing is off."
"This entire situation is turning into a nightmare," he said shakily. "Am I really awake? Is this Forty-Second Street? Hold up some fingers, Brown, and let me see if I can guess how many you're holding up. If I get it wrong, I must be back home in bed sleeping, and this whole thing is just a dream."
Beekman Brown patted his friend on the shoulder.
Beekman Brown gave his friend a comforting pat on the shoulder.
"You take a cab, Smithy, and go somewhere. And if I don't come go on alone to the Carringtons'.... You don't mind going on and fixing things up with the Carringtons, do you?"
"You take a cab, Smithy, and go somewhere. And if I don't show up, just go on ahead to the Carringtons'.... You don’t mind going on and sorting things out with the Carringtons, do you?"
"Brown, do you believe that The Green Mouse Society has got hold of you? Do you?"
"Brown, do you think The Green Mouse Society has got you? Do you?"
"I don't know and don't care.... Smith, I ask you plainly, did you ever before see such a perfectly beautiful girl as that one is?"
"I don't know and I don't care... Smith, I’m asking you straight out, have you ever seen such a stunningly beautiful girl as she is?"
"Beekman, do you believe anything queer is going to result? You don't suppose she has anything to do with this extraordinary freak of yours?"
"Beekman, do you think anything strange is going to come of this? You don’t really think she has anything to do with this bizarre situation of yours?"
"Anything to do with it? How?"
"Is there anything related to it? How?"
"I mean," he sank his voice to hoarser depths, "how do you know but that this girl, who pretends to pay no attention to us, might be a--a--one of those clever, professional mesmerists who force you to follow 'em, and get you into their power, and exhibit you, and make you eat raw potatoes and tallow candles and tacks before an audience."
"I mean," he lowered his voice to a rougher tone, "how do you know that this girl, who acts like she’s not paying any attention to us, might be one of those skilled, professional hypnotists who make you follow them, gain control over you, and showcase you, making you eat raw potatoes, candles, and tacks in front of an audience."
He peeped furtively at Brown, who did not appear uneasy.
He sneaked a glance at Brown, who seemed completely at ease.
"All I'm afraid of," added Smith, sullenly, "is that you'll get yourself into vaudeville or the patrol wagon."
"All I'm worried about," Smith added gloomily, "is that you'll end up in vaudeville or the police wagon."
He waited, but Brown made no reply.
He waited, but Brown didn't respond.
"Oh, very well," he said, coldly. "I'll take a cab back to the boat."
"Oh, fine," he said, coldly. "I'll grab a taxi back to the boat."
No observation from Brown.
No input from Brown.
"So, good-by, old fellow"--with some emotion.
"So, goodbye, old friend"—with some emotion.
"Good-by," said Beekman Brown, absently.
"Goodbye," said Beekman Brown, absently.
In fact, he did not even notice when his thoroughly offended partner left the car, so intent was he in following the subtly thrilling train of thought which tantalized him, mocked him, led him nowhere, yet always lured him to fresh endeavor of memory. Where had all this occurred before? When? What was going to happen next--happen inexorably, as it had once happened, or as it once should have happened, in some dim, bygone age when he and that basket and that cat and this same hauntingly lovely girl existed together on earth--or perhaps upon some planet, swimming far out beyond the ken of men with telescopes?
In fact, he didn’t even notice when his completely offended partner got out of the car, so focused was he on the subtly exciting train of thought that fascinated him, teased him, led him nowhere, yet always drew him into fresh memories. Where had all this happened before? When? What was going to happen next—happen inevitably, just like it once did, or like it should have done, in some distant, long-ago time when he, that basket, that cat, and this same hauntingly beautiful girl existed together on earth—or maybe on some planet, floating far out beyond the reach of human telescopes?
He looked at the girl, strove to consider her impersonally, for her youthful beauty began to disturb him. Then cold doubt crept in; something of the monstrosity of the proceeding chilled his enthusiasm for occult research. Should he speak to her?
He looked at the girl, tried to think of her objectively, as her youthful beauty started to unsettle him. Then cold doubt set in; the outrageousness of the situation dampened his excitement for exploring the unknown. Should he talk to her?
Certainly, it was a dreadful thing to do--an offense the enormity of which was utterly inexcusable except under the stress of a purely impersonal and scientific necessity for investigating a mental phase of humanity which had always thrilled him with a curiosity most profound.
Certainly, it was a terrible thing to do—a wrongdoing so large that it was completely inexcusable unless driven by a purely impersonal and scientific need to explore a mental aspect of humanity that had always fascinated him deeply.
He folded his arms and began to review in cold blood the circumstances which had led to his present situation in a cross-town car. Number one, and he held up one finger:
He crossed his arms and started to calmly think through the events that had led him to be in this situation, riding in a cab across town. First, he raised one finger:
As it comes, at times, to every normal human, the odd idea had come to him that what he was saying and doing as he emerged from the subway at Times Square was what he had, sometime, somewhere, said and done before under similar circumstances. That was the beginning.
As it happens to every normal person at times, the strange thought crossed his mind that what he was saying and doing as he stepped out of the subway at Times Square was something he had, at some point, somewhere, said and done before in similar situations. That was the start.
Number two, and he gravely held up a second finger:
Number two, he seriously held up a second finger:
Always before when this idea had come to bother him it had faded after a moment or two, leaving him merely uneasy and dissatisfied.
Always before, when this idea had come to bother him, it faded after a moment or two, leaving him just uneasy and dissatisfied.
This time it persisted--intruding, annoying, exasperating him in his efforts to remember things which he could not recollect.
This time it wouldn't let up—interrupting, irritating, and frustrating him as he tried to remember things he just couldn't recall.
Number three, and he held up a third finger:
Number three, and he raised his third finger:
He had begun to remember! As soon as he or Smith said or did anything he recollected having said or done it sometime, somewhere, or recollected that he ought to have.
He had started to remember! As soon as he or Smith said or did anything, he recalled having said or done it at some point, somewhere, or remembered that he should have.
Number four--four fingers in air, stiff, determined digits:
Number four--four fingers in the air, stiff, resolute digits:
He had not only, by a violent concentration of his memory, succeeded in recognizing the things said and done as having been said and done before, but suddenly he became aware that he was going to be able to foretell, vaguely, certain incidents that were yet to occur--like the prophesied advent of the cherry-colored car and the hat, gown, and wicker basket.
He had not only, through a strong focus of his memory, managed to recognize the things that were said and done as things that had happened before, but he suddenly realized that he would be able to vaguely predict certain events that were yet to come--like the foretold arrival of the cherry-colored car and the hat, dress, and wicker basket.
He now had four fingers in the air; he examined them seriously, and then stuck up the fifth.
He now had four fingers up; he looked at them seriously, and then raised the fifth.
"Here I am," he thought, "awake, perfectly sane, absolutely respectable. Why should a foolish terror of convention prevent me from asking that girl whether she knows anything which might throw some light on this most interesting mental phenomenon?... I'll do it."
"Here I am," he thought, "wide awake, completely sane, totally respectable. Why should a silly fear of what people think stop me from asking that girl if she knows anything that could shed some light on this really intriguing mental phenomenon?... I'll do it."
The girl turned her head slightly; speech and the politely perfunctory smile froze on his lips.
The girl turned her head slightly; her words and the polite, routine smile froze on his lips.
She held up one finger; Brown's heart leaped. Was that some cabalistic sign which he ought to recognize? But she was merely signaling the conductor, who promptly pulled the bell and lifted her basket for her when she got off.
She held up one finger; Brown's heart raced. Was that some secret signal he should know? But she was just signaling the conductor, who quickly rang the bell and lifted her basket for her when she got off.
She thanked him; Brown heard her, and the crystalline voice began to ring in little bell-like echoes all through his ears, stirring endless little mysteries of memory.
She thanked him; Brown heard her, and her clear voice started to resonate in small, bell-like echoes throughout his ears, awakening countless little mysteries of memory.
Brown also got off; his legs struck up a walk of their own volition, carrying him across the street, hoisting him into a north-bound Lexington Avenue car, and landing him in a seat behind the one where she had installed herself and her wicker basket.
Brown also got off; his legs started walking on their own, taking him across the street, lifting him into a northbound Lexington Avenue train, and dropping him into a seat behind the one where she had settled with her wicker basket.
She seemed to be having some difficulty with the wicker basket; beseeching six-toed paws were thrust out persistently; soft meows pleaded for the right of liberty and pursuit of feline happiness. Several passengers smiled.
She appeared to be struggling with the wicker basket; desperate six-toed paws were persistently reaching out; soft meows begged for the freedom to pursue feline happiness. Several passengers smiled.
Trouble increased as the car whizzed northward; the meows became wilder; mad scrambles agitated the basket; the lid bobbed and creaked; the girl turned a vivid pink and, bending close over the basket, attempted to soothe its enervated inmate.
Trouble escalated as the car zoomed north; the meows grew frantic; the basket shook with anxious movements; the lid bounced and creaked; the girl flushed bright pink and, leaning over the basket, tried to calm its exhausted occupant.
In the forties she managed to control the situation; in the fifties a frantic rush from within burst a string that fastened the basket lid, but the girl held it down with energy.
In the forties, she was able to handle things; in the fifties, a chaotic surge from inside broke a string that held the basket lid, but the girl kept it closed with determination.
In the sixties a tempest broke loose in the basket; harrowing yowls pierced the atmosphere; the girl, crimson with embarrassment and distress, signaled the conductor at Sixty-fourth Street and descended, clinging valiantly to a basket which apparently contained a pack of firecrackers in process of explosion.
In the sixties, chaos erupted in the basket; sharp cries cut through the air; the girl, red with embarrassment and distress, signaled the conductor at Sixty-fourth Street and got off, desperately holding onto a basket that seemed to be filled with firecrackers going off.
A classical heroine in dire distress invariably exclaims aloud: "Will no one aid me?" Brown, whose automatic legs had compelled him to follow, instinctively awaited some similar appeal.
A classic heroine in serious trouble always calls out: "Will no one help me?" Brown, whose artificial legs had made him follow, instinctively waited for a similar plea.
It came unexpectedly; the kicking basket escaped from her arms, the lid burst open, and an extraordinarily large, healthy and indignant cat flew out, tail as big as a duster, and fled east on Sixty-fourth Street.
It came out of nowhere; the basket slipped from her grip, the lid flew open, and an incredibly large, healthy, and angry cat leaped out, its tail as thick as a duster, and raced east on Sixty-fourth Street.
The girl in the summer gown and white straw hat ran after the cat. Brown's legs ran, too.
The girl in the summer dress and white straw hat chased after the cat. Brown's legs moved as well.
There was, and is, between the house on the northeast corner of Sixty-fourth Street and Lexington Avenue and the next house on Sixty-fourth, an open space guarded by an iron railing; through this the cat darted, fur on end, and, with a flying leap, took to the back fences.
There was, and still is, an open space protected by an iron railing between the house on the northeast corner of Sixty-fourth Street and Lexington Avenue and the next house on Sixty-fourth. The cat zipped through this space, fur bristling, and with a leap, launched itself onto the back fences.
"Oh!" gasped the girl.
"Oh!" gasped the girl.
Then Brown's legs did an extraordinary thing--they began to scramble and kick and shin up the iron railing, hoisting Brown over; and Brown's voice, pleasant, calm, reassuring, was busy, too: "If you will look out for my suitcase I think I can recover your cat.... It will give me great pleasure to recover your cat. I shall be very glad to have, the opportunity of recovering--puff--puff--your--puff--puff--c-cat!" And he dropped inside the iron railing and paused to recover his breath.
Then Brown's legs did something incredible—they started to scramble and kick and climb up the iron railing, lifting Brown over; and Brown's voice, friendly, calm, and reassuring, was busy too: "If you can keep an eye on my suitcase, I think I can get your cat back.... It would make me really happy to find your cat. I would be very glad to have the chance to recover—puff—puff—your—puff—puff—cat!" And he dropped inside the iron railing and paused to catch his breath.
The girl came up to the railing and gazed anxiously through at the corner of the only back fence she could perceive.
The girl approached the railing and anxiously stared at the corner of the only back fence she could see.
"What a perfectly dreadful thing to happen!" she said in a voice not very steady. "It is exceedingly nice of you to help me catch Clarence. He is quite beside himself, poor lamb! You see, he has never before been in the city. I--I shall be distressed beyond m-measure if he is lost."
"What a totally awful thing to happen!" she said with a voice that wavered. "It's really nice of you to help me find Clarence. He’s absolutely beside himself, poor thing! You see, he’s never been in the city before. I—I’ll be incredibly upset if he gets lost."
"He went over those fences," said Brown, breathing faster. "I think I'd better go after him."
"He went over those fences," Brown said, breathing quickly. "I think I should go after him."
"Oh--would you mind? I'd be so very grateful. It seems so much to ask of you."
"Oh—would you mind? I’d really appreciate it. It feels like a lot to ask of you."
"I'll do it," said Brown, firmly. "Every boy in New York has climbed back fences, and I'm only thirty."
"I'll do it," Brown said confidently. "Every guy in New York has jumped fences, and I'm only thirty."
"It is most kind of you; but--but I don't know whether you could possibly get him to come to you. Clarence is timid with strangers."
"It’s very kind of you, but I’m not sure if you could actually get him to come to you. Clarence is shy around strangers."
Brown had already clambered on to the wooden fence. He balanced himself there, astride. Whitewash liberally decorated coat and trousers.
Brown had already climbed onto the wooden fence. He balanced himself there, straddled. Whitewash generously covered his coat and pants.
"I see him," he said.
"I see him," he said.
"W-what is he doing?"
"What’s he doing?"
"Squatting on a trellis three back yards away." And Brown lifted a blandishing voice: "Here, Clarence--Clarence--Clarence! Here, kitty-- kitty--kitty! Good pussy! Nice Clarence!"
"Squatting on a trellis three backyards away." And Brown called out in a coaxing voice: "Here, Clarence—Clarence—Clarence! Here, kitty—kitty—kitty! Good cat! Nice Clarence!"
"Does he come?" inquired the girl, peering wistfully through the railing.
"Is he coming?" the girl asked, gazing longingly through the railing.
"He does not," said Brown. "Perhaps you had better call."
"He doesn't," Brown said. "Maybe you should call."
"Here, puss--puss--puss--puss!" she began gently in that fascinating, crystalline voice which seemed to set tiny silvery chimes ringing in Brown's ears: "Here, Clarence, darling--Betty's own little kitty-cat!"
"Here, kitty--kitty--kitty--kitty!" she started softly in that captivating, clear voice that seemed to make little silvery bells ring in Brown's ears: "Here, Clarence, sweetheart--Betty's own little cat!"
"If he doesn't come to that," thought Brown, "he is a brute." And aloud: "If you could only let him see you; he sits there blinking at me."
"If he doesn't come to that," thought Brown, "he is a jerk." And aloud: "If only he could see you; he's sitting there staring at me."
"Do you think he'd come if he saw me?"
"Do you think he would come if he saw me?"
"Who wouldn't?" thought Brown, and answered, calmly: "I think so.... Of course, you couldn't get up here."
"Who wouldn't?" thought Brown, then replied calmly, "I think so... But of course, you couldn't get up here."
"I could.... But I'd better not.... Besides, I live only a few houses away--Number 161--and I could go through into the back yard."
"I could... but I probably shouldn't... Besides, I live just a few houses away—Number 161—and I could go through to the back yard."
"But you'd better not attempt to climb the fence. Have one of the servants do it; we'll get the cat between us then and corner him."
"But you’d better not try to climb the fence. Have one of the servants do it; we’ll get the cat between us then and trap him."
"There are no servants in the house. It's closed for the summer--all boarded up!"
"There are no staff in the house. It’s shut for the summer—all boarded up!"
"Then how can you get in?"
"Then how can you get inside?"
"I have a key to the basement.... Shall I?"
"I have a key to the basement... Should I?"
"And climb up on the fence?"
"And climb up on the fence?"
"Yes--if I must--if it's necessary to save Clarence.... Shall I?"
"Yeah—if I have to—if it’s necessary to save Clarence... Should I?"
"Why can't I shoo him into your yard."
"Why can't I chase him into your yard?"
"He doesn't know our yard. He's a country cat; he's never stayed in town. I was taking him with me to Oyster Bay.... I came down from a week-end at Stockbridge, where some relatives kept Clarence for us while we were abroad during the winter.... I meant to stop and get some things in the house on my way back to Oyster Bay.... Isn't it a perfectly wretched situation?... We--the entire family--adore Clarence--and--I-I'm so anxious----"
"He doesn't know our yard. He's a country cat; he's never lived in town. I was taking him with me to Oyster Bay.... I got back from a weekend at Stockbridge, where some relatives took care of Clarence for us while we were away during the winter.... I planned to stop and grab some things for the house on my way back to Oyster Bay.... Isn't it such an awful situation?... We—the whole family—love Clarence—and—I’m just so worried----"
Her fascinating underlip trembled, but she controlled it.
Her interesting bottom lip quivered, but she kept it in check.
"I'll get that cat if it takes a month!" said Brown. Then he flushed; he had not meant to speak so warmly.
"I'll get that cat, even if it takes a month!" said Brown. Then he blushed; he hadn't meant to sound so enthusiastic.
The girl flushed too. I am so grateful.... But how----"
The girl blushed too. I'm so grateful.... But how----"
"Wait," said Brown; and, addressing Clarence in a softly alluring voice, he began cautiously to crawl along the fences toward that unresponsive animal. Presently he desisted, partly on account of a conspiracy engaged in between his trousers and a rusty nail. The girl was now beyond range of his vision around the corner.
"Wait," said Brown; and, speaking to Clarence in a gently tempting voice, he started to carefully crawl along the fences toward that indifferent animal. Soon, he stopped, partly due to a snag between his trousers and a rusty nail. The girl was now out of sight around the corner.
"Miss--ah--Miss--er--er--Betty!" he called.
"Miss—uh—Miss—um—Betty!" he called.
"Yes!"
"Absolutely!"
"Clarence has retreated over another back yard."
"Clarence has moved back into another yard."
"How horrid!"
"How awful!"
"How far down do you live?"
"How far down do you live?"
She named the number of doors, anxiously adding: "Is Clarence farther down the block? Oh, please, be careful. Please, don't drive him past our yard. If you will wait I--I'll let myself into the house and--I'll manage to get up on the fence."
She counted the number of doors, nervously adding, "Is Clarence further down the block? Oh, please be careful. Please, don't drive him past our yard. If you wait, I’ll let myself into the house and—I'll figure out how to get up on the fence."
"You'll ruin your gown."
"You'll ruin your dress."
"I don't care about my gown."
"I don't care about my dress."
"These fences are the limit! Full of spikes and nails.... Will you be careful?"
"These fences are the boundary! Full of spikes and nails... Will you be cautious?"
"Yes, very."
"Definitely, very."
"The nails are rusty. I--I am h-horribly afraid of lockjaw."
"The nails are rusty. I—I'm really scared of lockjaw."
"Then don't remain there an instant."
"Then don't stay there for a moment."
"I mean--I'm afraid of it for you."
"I mean—I’m worried about it for you."
There was a silence; they couldn't see each other. Brown's heart was beating fast.
There was silence; they couldn’t see each other. Brown’s heart was racing.
"It is very generous of you to--think of me," came her voice, lower but very friendly.
"It’s really kind of you to think of me," her voice came through, softer but very warm.
"I ca-can't avoid it," he stammered, and wanted to kick himself for what he had blurted out.
"I can't avoid it," he stammered, wishing he could kick himself for what he had just blurted out.
Another pause--longer this time. And then:
Another pause—longer this time. And then:
"I am going to enter my house and climb up on the fence.... Would you mind waiting a moment?"
"I’m going to go into my house and climb up on the fence... Would you mind waiting for a moment?"
"I will wait here," said Beekman Brown, "until I see you." He added to himself: "I'm going mad rapidly and I know it and don't care.... What-- a--girl!"
"I'll wait here," Beekman Brown said, "until I see you." He added to himself, "I'm losing my mind quickly, and I know it, but I don't care... What--a--girl!"
While he waited, legs swinging, astride the back fence, he examined his injuries--thoughtfully touched the triangular tear in his trousers, inspected minor sartorial and corporeal lacerations, set his hat firmly upon his head, and gazed across the monotony of the back-yard fences at Clarence. The cat eyed him disrespectfully, paws tucked under, tail curled up against his well-fed flank--disillusioned, disgusted, unapproachable.
While he waited, legs swinging over the back fence, he checked out his injuries—gently touched the triangular tear in his pants, looked at minor cuts on his clothes and body, adjusted his hat firmly on his head, and stared across the dull rows of backyard fences at Clarence. The cat looked at him with disdain, paws tucked under, tail curled against his well-fed side—disenchanted, disgusted, and unapproachable.
Presently, through the palings of a back yard on Sixty-fifth Street, Brown saw a small boy, evidently the progeny of some caretaker, regarding him intently.
Currently, through the slats of a backyard on Sixty-fifth Street, Brown noticed a small boy, clearly the child of some caretaker, looking at him closely.
"Say, mister," he began as soon as noticed, "you have tore your pants on a nail."
"Hey, mister," he started as soon as he saw, "you've torn your pants on a nail."
"Thanks," said Brown, coldly; "will you be good enough to mind your business?"
"Thanks," Brown said coldly, "but could you please mind your own business?"
"I thought I'd tell you," said the small boy, delightedly aware that the information displeased Brown. "They're tore awful, too. That's what you get for playin' onto back fences. Y'orter be ashamed."
"I thought I'd let you know," said the little boy, happily noticing that the information upset Brown. "They're really messed up, too. That's what you get for playing on back fences. You should be ashamed."
Brown feigned unconsciousness and folded his arms with dignity; but the next moment he straightened up, quivering.
Brown pretended to be unconscious and crossed his arms with dignity; but a moment later, he sat up straight, trembling.
"You young devil!" he said; "if you pull that slingshot again I'll come over there and destroy you!"
"You little rascal!" he said. "If you pull that slingshot again, I'll come over there and take care of you!"
At the same moment above the fence line down the block a white straw hat appeared; then a youthful face becomingly flushed; then two dainty, gloved hands grasping the top of the fence.
At that moment above the fence line down the block, a white straw hat appeared; then a young face that was pleasantly flushed; and finally, two delicate, gloved hands holding onto the top of the fence.
"I am here," she called across to him.
"I’m here," she called out to him.
The small boy, who had climbed to the top of his fence, immediately joined the conversation:
The little boy, who had climbed to the top of his fence, quickly joined the conversation:
"Your girl's a winner, mister," he observed, critically.
"Your girl’s a winner, man," he pointed out, critically.
"Are you going to keep quiet?" demanded Brown, starting across the fence.
"Are you going to stay silent?" Brown asked, stepping over the fence.
"Sure," said the small boy, carelessly.
"Sure," said the little boy, casually.
And, settling down on his lofty perch of observation, he began singing:
And, settling down on his high spot for watching, he started singing:
"Lum' me an' the woild is mi-on."
"Leave me and the world alone."
The girl's cheeks became pinker; she looked at the small boy appealingly.
The girl's cheeks turned pinker as she looked at the little boy with an appealing gaze.
"Little boy," she said, "if you'll run away somewhere I'll give you ten cents."
"Hey, little guy," she said, "if you run off somewhere, I'll give you ten cents."
"No," said the terror, "I want to see him an' you catch that cat."
"No," said the fear, "I want to see him and you catch that cat."
"I'll tell you what I'll do," suggested Brown, inspired. "I'll give you a dollar if you'll help us catch the cat."
"I'll tell you what I'm going to do," suggested Brown, feeling inspired. "I'll give you a dollar if you help us catch the cat."
"You're on!" said the boy, briskly. "What'll I do? Touch her up with this bean-shooter?"
"You're on!" the boy said enthusiastically. "What should I do? Hit her with this slingshot?"
"No; put that thing into your pocket!" exclaimed Brown, sharply. "Now climb across to Sixty-fourth Street and stand by that iron railing so that the cat can't bolt out into the street, and," he added, wrapping a dollar bill around a rusty nail and tossing it across the fence, "here's what's coming to you."
"No; put that thing in your pocket!" Brown said sharply. "Now climb over to Sixty-fourth Street and stand by that iron railing so the cat can't run into the street, and," he added, wrapping a dollar bill around a rusty nail and throwing it over the fence, "here's what you get."
The small boy scrambled over nimbly, ran squirrel-like across the transverse fence, dipped, swarmed over the iron railing and stood on guard.
The little boy quickly climbed over, dashed like a squirrel across the horizontal fence, ducked, scrambled over the iron railing, and stood watch.
"Say, mister," he said, "if the cat starts this way you and your girl start a hollerin' like----"
"Hey, man," he said, "if the cat goes this way, you and your girl should start yelling like----"
"All right," interrupted Brown, and turned toward the vision of loveliness and distress which was now standing on the top of her own back fence holding fast to a wistaria trellis and flattering Clarence with low and honeyed appeals.
"Okay," Brown interrupted, turning towards the beautiful yet troubled sight now perched on top of her back fence, gripping the wisteria trellis and sweet-talking Clarence with soft, flattering words.
The cat, however, was either too stupid or too confused to respond; he gazed blankly at his mistress, and when Brown began furtively edging his way toward him Clarence arose, stood a second in alert indecision, then began to back away.
The cat, however, was either too clueless or too dazed to react; he stared blankly at his owner, and when Brown started to sneak closer to him, Clarence stood up, hesitated for a moment in alert uncertainty, then began to back away.
"We've got him between us!" called out Brown. "If you'll stand ready to seize him when I drive him----"
"We've got him stuck between us!" shouted Brown. "If you’re ready to grab him when I push him----"
There was a wild scurry, a rush, a leap, frantic clawing for foothold.
There was a chaotic scramble, a rush, a leap, desperate clawing for a grip.
"Now, Miss Betty! Quick!" cried Brown. "Don't let him pass you."
"Come on, Miss Betty! Hurry!" yelled Brown. "Don't let him get by you."
She spread her skirts, but the shameless Clarence rushed headlong between the most delicately ornamental pair of ankles in Manhattan.
She spread her dress, but the bold Clarence rushed right between the most elegantly adorned ankles in Manhattan.
"Oh-h!" cried the girl in soft despair, and made a futile clutch; but she could not arrest the flight of Clarence, she merely upset him, turning him for an instant into a furry pinwheel, whirling through mid-air, landing in her yard, rebounding like a rubber ball, and disappearing, with one flying leap, into a narrow opening in the basement masonry.
"Oh no!" the girl cried in soft despair, reaching out in vain; but she couldn't stop Clarence from escaping. She only managed to spin him around for a moment, turning him into a furry pinwheel that whirled through the air, landed in her yard, bounced like a rubber ball, and with one leap, disappeared into a narrow gap in the basement wall.
"Where is he?" asked Brown, precariously balanced on the next fence.
"Where is he?" asked Brown, balancing awkwardly on the next fence.
"Do you know," she said, "this is becoming positively ghastly. He's bolted into our cellar."
"Do you know," she said, "this is getting really disturbing. He's locked himself in our basement."
"Why, that's all right, isn't it?" asked Brown. "All you have to do is to go inside, descend to the cellar, and light the gas."
"Well, that’s fine, right?" asked Brown. "All you need to do is go inside, head down to the basement, and turn on the gas."
"There's no gas."
"Out of gas."
"You have electric light?"
"Do you have electric light?"
"Yes, but it's turned off at the main office. The house is closed for the summer, you know."
"Yeah, but it's shut off at the main office. The house is closed for the summer, you know."
Brown, balancing cautiously, walked the intervening fence like an amateur on a tightrope.
Brown, walking carefully, balanced on the fence like a beginner on a tightrope.
Her pretty hat was a trifle on one side; her cheeks brilliant with excitement and anxiety. Utterly oblivious of herself and of appearances in her increasing solicitude for the adored Clarence, she sat the fence, cross saddle, balancing with one hand and pointing with the other to the barred ventilator into which Clarence had darted.
Her pretty hat was a little askew; her cheeks were glowing with excitement and anxiety. Completely unaware of herself and her appearance in her growing concern for the beloved Clarence, she sat on the fence, cross-saddle, balancing with one hand and pointing with the other to the barred ventilator where Clarence had rushed in.
A wisp of sunny hair blew across her crimson cheek; slender, active, excitedly unconscious of self, she seemed like some eager, adorable little gamin perched there, intent on mischief.
A strand of sunny hair whisked across her red cheek; slim, lively, and blissfully unaware of herself, she looked like some eager, charming little kid sitting there, focused on causing trouble.
"If you'll drop into our yard," she said, "and place that soap box against the ventilator, Clarence can't get out that way!"
"If you come by our yard," she said, "and put that soap box against the vent, Clarence won't be able to get out that way!"
It was done before she finished the request. She disengaged herself from the fencetop, swung over, hung an instant, and dropped into a soft flower bed.
It was done before she finished asking. She let go of the top of the fence, swung over, paused for a moment, and landed in a soft flower bed.
Breathing fast, disheveled, they confronted one another on the grass. His blue suit of serge was smeared with whitewash; her gown was a sight. She felt for her hat instinctively, repinned it at hazard, looked at her gloves, and began to realize what she had done.
Breathing heavily and looking a mess, they faced each other on the grass. His blue wool suit was stained with whitewash; her dress was a disaster. She instinctively reached for her hat, pinned it back on carelessly, checked her gloves, and started to understand what she had done.
"I--I couldn't help it," she faltered; "I couldn't leave Clarence in a city of five m-million strangers--all alone--terrified out of his senses-- could I? I had rather--rather be thought--anything than be c-cruel to a helpless animal."
"I--I couldn't help it," she hesitated; "I couldn't leave Clarence in a city full of five million strangers--all alone--terrified out of his mind--could I? I'd rather--rather be seen as anything than be cruel to a helpless animal."
Brown dared not trust himself to answer. She was too beautiful and his emotion was too deep. So he bent over and attempted to dust his garments with the flat of his hand.
Brown didn’t trust himself to respond. She was too beautiful, and his feelings ran too deep. So, he bent down and tried to brush off his clothes with the palm of his hand.
"I am so sorry," she said in a low voice. "Are your clothes quite ruined?"
"I'm really sorry," she said quietly. "Are your clothes totally ruined?"
"Oh, I don't mind," he protested happily, "I really don't mind a bit. If you'll only let me help you corner that infern--that unfortunate cat I shall be perfectly happy."
"Oh, I don't mind," he said cheerfully, "I really don't mind at all. If you just let me help you catch that terrible—that unfortunate cat, I'll be completely happy."
She said, with heightened color: "It is exceedingly nice of you to say so.... I--I don't quite know--what do you think we had better do?"
She said, her cheeks flushed, "It's really nice of you to say that... I—I’m not sure—what do you think we should do?"
"Suppose," he said, "you go into the basement, unlock the cellar door and call. He can't bolt this way."
"Imagine," he said, "you go into the basement, unlock the cellar door, and call out. He can't escape this way."
She nodded and entered the house. A few moments later he heard her calling, so persuasively that it was all he could do not to run to her, and why on earth that cat didn't he never could understand.
She nodded and went into the house. A few moments later, he heard her calling, so compellingly that it took everything in him not to run to her, and he could never understand why that cat didn’t.
XI
BETTY
In Which the Remorseless and Inexorable Results of Psychical Research Are Revealed to the Very Young
In Which the Unforgiving and Unstoppable Outcomes of Psychic Research Are Uncovered for the Very Young
At intervals for the next ten minutes her fresh, sweet, fascinating voice came to him where he stood in the yard; then he heard it growing fainter, more distant, receding; then silence.
At intervals over the next ten minutes, her fresh, sweet, captivating voice reached him while he stood in the yard; then he heard it fading, becoming more distant, retreating; then silence.
Listening, he suddenly heard a far, rushing sound from subterranean depths--like a load of coal being put in--then a frightened cry.
Listening, he suddenly heard a distant, rushing sound from deep underground—like a load of coal being dumped—then a terrified scream.
He sprang into the basement, ran through laundry and kitchen. The cellar door swung wide open above the stairs which ran down into darkness; and as he halted to listen Clarence dashed up out of the depths, scuttled around the stairs and fled upward into the silent regions above.
He jumped into the basement, hurried through the laundry and the kitchen. The cellar door swung wide open at the top of the stairs leading down into darkness; and as he stopped to listen, Clarence rushed up from the depths, scurried around the stairs, and fled upstairs into the quiet areas above.
"Betty!" he cried, forgetting in his alarm the lesser conventions, "where are you?"
"Betty!" he yelled, forgetting the usual etiquette in his panic, "where are you?"
"Oh, dear--oh, dear!" she wailed. "I am in such a dreadful plight. Could you help me, please?"
"Oh, no—oh, no!" she cried. "I'm in such a terrible situation. Can you help me, please?"
"Are you hurt?" he asked. Fright made his voice almost inaudible. He struck a match with shaking fingers and ran down the cellar stairs.
"Are you okay?" he asked. Fear made his voice barely audible. He lit a match with trembling fingers and hurried down the cellar stairs.
"Betty! Where are you?"
"Betty! Where are you at?"
"Oh, I am here--in the coal."
"Oh, I am here—in the coal."
"What?"
"What is it?"
"I--I can't seem to get out; I stepped into the coal pit in the dark and it all--all slid with me and over me and I'm in it up to the shoulders."
"I--I can't seem to get out; I walked into the coal pit in the dark and it all--all slid in with me and over me and I'm in it up to my shoulders."
Another match flamed; he saw a stump of a candle, seized it, lighted it, and, holding it aloft, gazed down upon the most heart rending spectacle he had ever witnessed.
Another match flared up; he grabbed a stub of a candle, lit it, and, holding it high, looked down at the most heartbreaking scene he had ever seen.
The next instant he grasped a shovel and leaped to the rescue. She was quite calm about it; the situation was too awful, the future too hopeless for mere tears. What had happened contained all the dignified elements of a catastrophe. They both realized it, and when, madly shoveling, he at last succeeded in releasing her she leaned her full weight on his own, breathing rapidly, and suffered him to support and guide her through the flame-shot darkness to the culinary regions above.
The next moment, he grabbed a shovel and jumped in to help. She stayed surprisingly calm; the situation was too terrible and the future too bleak for just tears. What had happened had all the serious elements of a disaster. They both understood this, and when he finally managed to free her after frantically shoveling, she leaned heavily against him, breathing quickly, allowing him to support and lead her through the fiery darkness to the kitchen area above.
Here she sank down on a chair for one moment in utter collapse. Then she looked up, resolutely steadying her voice:
Here she sank down onto a chair for a moment, completely exhausted. Then she looked up, determined to steady her voice:
"Could anything on earth more awful have happened to a girl?" she asked, lips quivering in spite of her. She stretched out what had once been a pair of white gloves, she looked down at what had been a delicate summer gown of white. "How," she asked with terrible calmness, "am I to get to Oyster Bay?"
"Could anything worse happen to a girl?" she asked, her lips shaking despite herself. She held out what used to be a pair of white gloves, looking down at what was once a delicate white summer dress. "How," she asked with horrifying calm, "am I supposed to get to Oyster Bay?"
He dropped on to a kitchen chair opposite her, clasping his coal-stained hands between his knees, utterly incapable of speech.
He plopped down onto a kitchen chair across from her, gripping his coal-stained hands between his knees, completely unable to find the words.
She looked at her shoes--once snowy white; with a shudder she stripped the soiled gloves from elbow to wrist and flung them aside. Her arms and hands formed a starling contrast to the remainder of the ensemble.
She looked at her shoes—once bright white; with a shudder, she took off the dirty gloves from her elbows down and tossed them aside. Her arms and hands stood out sharply against the rest of the outfit.
"What," she asked, "am I to do?"
"What," she asked, "am I supposed to do?"
"The thing to do," he said, "is to telephone to your family at Oyster Bay."
"The thing to do," he said, "is to call your family at Oyster Bay."
"The telephone has been disconnected. So has the water--we can't even w-wash our hands!" she faltered.
"The phone has been cut off. So has the water—we can't even wash our hands!" she faltered.
He said: "I can go out and telephone to your family to send a maid with some clothes for you--if you don't mind being left alone in an empty house for a little while."
He said, "I can go out and call your family to send a maid with some clothes for you—if you don’t mind being alone in an empty house for a little while."
"No, I don't; but," she gazed uncertainly at the black opening of the cellar, "but, please, don't be gone very long, will you?"
"No, I don't; but," she looked uncertainly at the dark opening of the cellar, "please don't be gone too long, okay?"
He promised fervidly. She gave him the number and her family's name, and he left by the basement door.
He promised passionately. She gave him the number and her family's name, and he left through the basement door.
He was gone a long time, during which, for a while, she paced the floor, unaffectedly wringing her hands and contemplating herself and her garments in the laundry looking-glass.
He was gone for a long time, and during that time, she paced the floor, calmly wringing her hands and looking at herself and her clothes in the laundry mirror.
At intervals she tried to turn on the water, hoping for a few drops at least; at intervals she sat down to wait for him; then, the inaction becoming unendurable, musing goaded her into motion, and she ascended to the floor above, groping through the dimness in futile search for Clarence. She heard him somewhere in obscurity, scurrying under furniture at her approach, evidently too thoroughly demoralized to recognize her voice. So, after a while, she gave it up and wandered down to the pantry, instinct leading her, for she was hungry and thirsty; but she knew there could be nothing eatable in a house closed for the summer.
At intervals, she tried to turn on the water, hoping for at least a few drops; at other times, she sat down to wait for him. Then, when the waiting became unbearable, her thoughts pushed her into action, and she went up to the floor above, feeling her way through the dimness in a fruitless search for Clarence. She heard him somewhere in the shadows, scurrying under furniture as she got closer, obviously too shaken to recognize her voice. So, after a while, she gave up and wandered down to the pantry, following her instincts because she was hungry and thirsty; but she knew there wouldn’t be anything edible in a house closed for the summer.
She lifted the pantry window and opened the blinds; noon sunshine flooded the place, and she began opening cupboards and refrigerators, growing hungrier every moment.
She raised the pantry window and pulled up the blinds; bright noon sunlight flooded the room, and she started opening cabinets and the fridge, feeling hungrier by the second.
Then her eyes fell upon dozens of bottles of Apollinaris, and with a little cry of delight she knelt down, gathered up all she could carry, and ran upstairs to the bathroom adjoining her own bedchamber.
Then her eyes landed on dozens of bottles of Apollinaris, and with a small gasp of excitement, she knelt down, picked up all she could carry, and hurried upstairs to the bathroom next to her bedroom.
"At least," she said to herself, "I can cleanse myself of this dreadful coal!" and in a few moments she was reveling, elbow deep, in a marble basin brimming with Apollinaris.
"At least," she said to herself, "I can wash off this awful dirt!" and in a few moments, she was enjoying herself, digging in a marble basin full of Apollinaris.
As the stain of the coal disappeared she remembered a rose-colored morning gown reposing in her bedroom clothespress; and she found more than that there--rose stockings and slippers and a fragrant pile of exquisitely fine and more intimate garments, so tempting in their freshness that she hurried with them into the dressing room; then began to make rapid journeys up and downstairs, carrying dozens of quarts of Apollinaris to the big porcelain tub, into which she emptied them, talking happily to herself all the time.
As the coal stain faded, she recalled a pink morning gown resting in her bedroom closet; and she discovered even more there—pink stockings and slippers and a fragrant stack of beautifully delicate and intimate clothes, so inviting in their freshness that she rushed to the dressing room with them; then she started making quick trips up and down the stairs, bringing dozens of bottles of Apollinaris to the big porcelain tub, into which she poured them, happily chatting to herself the entire time.
"If he returns I can talk to him over the banisters!... He's a nice boy.... Such a funny boy not to remember me.... And I've thought of him quite often.... I wonder if I've time for just one, delicious plunge?" She listened; ran to the front windows and looked out through the blinds. He was nowhere in sight.
"If he comes back, I can talk to him over the railing!... He's a great guy.... Such a funny guy not to remember me.... And I've thought about him quite a bit.... I wonder if I have time for just one more, delicious dive?" She listened, ran to the front windows, and looked out through the blinds. He was nowhere to be seen.
Ten minutes later, delightfully refreshed, she stood regarding herself in her lovely rose-tinted morning gown, patting her bright hair into discipline with slim, deft fingers, a half-smile on her lips, lids closing a trifle over the pensive violet eyes.
Ten minutes later, feeling wonderfully refreshed, she stood looking at herself in her beautiful rose-colored morning gown, smoothing her bright hair into place with her slim, nimble fingers, a half-smile on her lips, her eyelids slightly lowered over her thoughtful violet eyes.
"Now," she said aloud, "I'll talk to him over the banisters when he returns; it's a little ungracious, I suppose, after all he has done, but it's more conventional.... And I'll sit here and read until they send somebody from Sandcrest with a gown I can travel in.... And then we'll catch Clarence and call a cab----"
"Now," she said out loud, "I'll talk to him over the banisters when he gets back; it's a bit rude, I guess, considering everything he's done, but it's more conventional.... And I'll sit here and read until they send someone from Sandcrest with a travel gown for me.... And then we'll grab Clarence and call a cab----"
A distant tinkling from the area bell interrupted her.
A distant ringing from the nearby bell interrupted her.
"Oh, dear," she exclaimed, "I quite forgot that I had to let him in!"
"Oh, no," she said, "I totally forgot that I had to let him in!"
Another tinkle. She cast a hurried and doubtful glance over her attire. It was designed for the intimacy of her boudoir.
Another chime. She gave a quick, uncertain look at her outfit. It was meant for the privacy of her bedroom.
"I--I couldn't talk to him out of the window! I've been shocking enough as it is!" she thought; and, finger tips on the banisters, she ran down the three stairs and appeared at the basement grille, breathless, radiant, forgetting, as usual, her self-consciousness in thinking of him, a habit of this somewhat harebrained and headlong girl which had its root in perfect health of body and wholesomeness of mind.
"I—I couldn't talk to him out of the window! I've already embarrassed myself enough!" she thought. With her fingertips on the banister, she hurried down the three stairs and showed up at the basement grille, breathless and radiant, forgetting, as usual, her self-consciousness while thinking about him. It was a habit of this somewhat impulsive and reckless girl, rooted in her perfect physical health and a fresh mindset.
"I found some clothes--not the sort I can go out in!" she said, laughing at his astonishment, as she unlocked the grille. "So, please, overlook my attire; I was so full of coal dust! and I found sufficient Apollinaris for my necessities.... What did they say at Sandcrest?"
"I found some clothes—not the kind I can actually wear out!" she said, laughing at his surprise as she unlocked the gate. "So, please excuse my outfit; I was so covered in coal dust! And I found enough Apollinaris for what I needed.... What did they say at Sandcrest?"
He said very soberly: "We've got to discuss this situation. Perhaps I had better come in for a few minutes--if you don't mind."
He said seriously, "We need to talk about this situation. Maybe I should come in for a few minutes—if that’s okay with you."
"No, I don't mind.... Shall we sit in the drying room?" leading the way. "Now tell me what is the matter? You rather frighten me, you know. Is--is anything wrong at Sandcrest?"
"No, I don't mind.... Shall we sit in the drying room?" she said, leading the way. "Now tell me what's wrong? You're kind of scaring me, you know. Is there anything wrong at Sandcrest?"
"No, I suppose not." He touched his flushed face with his handkerchief; "I couldn't get Oyster Bay on the 'phone."
"No, I guess not." He wiped his flushed face with his handkerchief; "I couldn't reach Oyster Bay on the phone."
"W-why not?"
"Why not?"
"The wires are out of commission as far as Huntington; there's no use--I tried everything! Telegraph and telephone wires were knocked out in this morning's electric storm, it seems."
"The wires are down for Huntington; there's no point—I tried everything! The telegraph and telephone lines were damaged in this morning's storm, it looks like."
She gazed at him, hands folded on her knee, left leg crossed over, foot swinging.
She looked at him, hands resting on her knee, with her left leg crossed over and her foot swinging.
"This," she said calmly, "is becoming serious. Will you tell me what I am to do?"
"This," she said calmly, "is getting serious. Will you tell me what I should do?"
"Haven't you anything to travel in?"
"Haven't you got anything to travel in?"
"Not one solitary rag."
"Not a single rag."
"Then--you'll have to stay here to-night and send for some of your friends--you surely know somebody who is still in town, don't you?"
"Then—you'll need to stay here tonight and call some of your friends—you must know someone who's still in town, right?"
"I really don't. This is the middle of July. I don't know a woman in town."
"I really don’t. It’s the middle of July. I don’t know any woman in town."
He was silent.
He didn't say anything.
"Besides," she said, "we have no light, no water, nothing to eat in the house, no telephone to order anything----"
"Besides," she said, "we have no light, no water, nothing to eat in the house, and no phone to order anything----"
He said: "I foresaw that you would probably be obliged to remain here, so when I left the telephone office I took the liberty of calling a taxi and visiting the electric light people, the telephone people and the nearest plumber. It seems he is your own plumber--Quinn, I believe his name is; and he's coming in half an hour to turn on the water."
He said, "I figured you’d probably have to stay here, so when I left the phone office, I took the liberty of calling a taxi and visiting the electric company, the phone company, and the nearest plumber. It looks like he’s your plumber—Quinn, I think his name is; and he’ll be here in half an hour to turn on the water."
"Did you think of doing all that?" she asked, astonished.
"Did you really think about doing all that?" she asked, amazed.
"Oh, that wasn't anything. And I ventured to telephone the Plaza to serve luncheon and dinner here for you----"
"Oh, that was nothing. And I took the liberty of calling the Plaza to arrange lunch and dinner here for you----"
"You did?"
"You really?"
"And I wired to Dooley's Agency to send you a maid for to-day----"
"And I texted Dooley's Agency to send you a maid for today----"
"That was perfectly splendid of you!"
"That was absolutely amazing of you!"
"They promised to send one as soon as possible.... And I think that may be the plumber now," as a tinkle came from the area bell.
"They promised to send someone as soon as they could.... And I think that might be the plumber now," as a chime came from the doorbell.
It was not the plumber; it was waiters bearing baskets full of silver, china, table linen, ice, fruits, confections, cut flowers, and, in warmers, a most delectable luncheon.
It wasn't the plumber; it was waiters carrying baskets filled with silver, china, tablecloths, ice, fruit, sweets, fresh flowers, and, in warmers, a really delicious lunch.
Four impressive individuals commanded by a butler formed the processional, filing solemnly up the basement stairs to the dining room, where they instantly began to lay the table with dexterous celerity.
Four impressive individuals led by a butler made their way up the basement stairs to the dining room, moving solemnly as they quickly started to set the table with skillful speed.
In the drying room below Betty and Beekman Brown stood confronting each other.
In the drying room below, Betty and Beekman Brown faced each other.
"I suppose," began Brown with an effort, "that I had better go now."
"I guess," Brown said, trying hard, "that I should head out now."
Betty said thoughtfully: "I suppose you must."
Betty said, thinking hard: "I guess you have to."
"Unless," continued Brown, "you think I had better remain--somewhere on the premises--until your maid arrives."
"Unless," Brown continued, "you think I should stay--somewhere on the property--until your maid gets here."
"That might be safer," said Betty, more thoughtfully.
"That could be safer," Betty said, contemplating more.
"Your maid will probably be here in a few minutes."
"Your maid will likely be here in a few minutes."
"Probably," said Betty, head bent, slim, ringless fingers busy with the sparkling drop that glimmered pendant from her neckchain.
"Probably," said Betty, her head down, her slim fingers without rings fiddling with the sparkling drop that hung from her necklace.
Silence--the ironing board between them--she standing, bright head lowered, worrying the jewel with childish fingers; he following every movement, fascinated, spellbound.
Silence—the ironing board between them—she stood there, her bright hair down, fiddling with the jewel like a child; he watched every movement, captivated and entranced.
After a moment, without looking up: "You have been very, very nice to me-- in the nicest possible way," she said.... "I am not going to forget it easily--even if I might wish to."
After a moment, without looking up: "You've been really, really nice to me— in the nicest possible way," she said.... "I'm not going to forget it easily—even if I might want to."
"I can never forget you!... I d-don't want to."
"I can never forget you!... I really don’t want to."
The sparkling pendant escaped her fingers; she picked it up again and spoke as though gravely addressing it:
The sparkling pendant slipped from her fingers; she picked it up again and spoke to it as if it were a serious matter:
"Some day somewhere," she said, looking at the jewel, "perhaps chance-- the hazard of life--may bring us to--togeth--to acquaintance--a more formal acquaintance than this.... I hope so. This has been a little-- irregular, and perhaps you had better not wait for my maid.... I hope we may meet--sometime."
"One day, somewhere," she said, gazing at the jewel, "maybe fate—the randomness of life—will bring us together—to meet—in a more formal way than this.... I hope so. This has been a bit—unconventional, and maybe it’s best if you don't wait for my maid.... I hope we can meet—sometime."
"I hope so, too," he managed to say, with so little fervor and so successful an imitation of her politely detached interest in convention that she raised her eyes. They dropped immediately, because his quiet voice and speech scarcely conformed to the uncontrolled protest in his eyes.
"I hope so, too," he said, lacking enthusiasm and mimicking her polite indifference to conventions so well that she looked up. She quickly looked away again because his calm voice and words didn't match the intense emotion in his eyes.
For a moment she stood, passing the golden links through her white fingers like a young novice with a rosary. Steps on the stairs disturbed them; the recessional had begun; four solemn persons filed out the area gate. At the same moment, suave and respectful, her butler pro tem. presented himself at the doorway:
For a moment, she stood there, running the golden links through her pale fingers like a young novice with a rosary. Footsteps on the stairs interrupted them; the recessional had started; four solemn people filed out the area gate. At the same time, smooth and respectful, her temporary butler appeared at the doorway:
"Luncheon is served, madam."
"Lunch is served, ma'am."
"Thank you." She looked uncertainly at Brown, hesitated, flushed a trifle.
"Thanks." She glanced nervously at Brown, paused, and blushed a little.
"I will stay here and admit the plumber and then--then--I'll g-go," he said with a heartbroken smile.
"I'll stay here and let the plumber in, and then—then—I’ll go," he said with a heartbroken smile.
"I suppose you took the opportunity to lunch when you went out?" she said. Her inflection made it a question.
"I guess you grabbed lunch when you went out?" she said. The way she said it made it sound like a question.
Without answering he stepped back to allow her to pass. She moved forward, turned, undecided.
Without saying anything, he stepped back to let her pass. She moved forward, then turned, unsure.
"Have you lunched?"
"Have you had lunch?"
"Please don't feel that you ought to ask me," he began, and checked himself as the vivid pink deepened in her cheeks. Then she freed herself of embarrassment with a little laugh.
"Please don't think you have to ask me," he started, stopping himself as the bright pink in her cheeks grew darker. She then shook off her embarrassment with a small laugh.
"Considering," she said, "that we have been chasing cats on the back fences together and that, subsequently, you dug me out of the coal in my own cellar, I can't believe it is very dreadful if I ask you to luncheon with me.... Is it?"
"Given," she said, "that we've been chasing cats on the back fences together and that you later helped me out of the coal in my own cellar, I can't see how it would be a big deal if I ask you to lunch with me... Is it?"
"It is ador--it is," he corrected himself firmly, "exceedingly civil of you to ask me!"
"It is awesome—it is," he corrected himself firmly, "really nice of you to ask me!"
"Then--will you?" almost timidly.
"Then—will you?" almost shyly.
"I will. I shall not pretend any more. I'd rather lunch with you than be President of this Republic."
"I will. I won’t pretend anymore. I’d rather have lunch with you than be President of this Republic."
The butler pro tem. seated her.
The temporary butler sat her down.
"You see," she said, "a place had already been laid for you." And with the faintest trace of malice in her voice: "Perhaps your butler had his orders to lay two covers. Had he?"
"You see," she said, "a place has already been set for you." And with a hint of malice in her voice: "Maybe your butler was told to set two places. Was he?"
"From me?" he protested, reddening.
"From me?" he protested, blushing.
"You don't suspect me, do you?" she asked, adorably mischievous. Then glancing over the masses of flowers in the center and at the corners of the lace cloth: "This is deliciously pretty. But you are either dreadfully and habitually extravagant or you believe I am. Which is it?"
"You don't suspect me, do you?" she asked, playfully mischievous. Then, glancing over the bunches of flowers in the center and at the corners of the lace cloth, she continued, "This is so beautiful. But you are either shockingly and consistently extravagant or you think I am. Which is it?"
"I think both are true," he said, laughing.
"I think both are true," he said, laughing.
And a little while later when he returned from the basement after admitting Mr. Quinn, the plumber:
And a little while later, when he came back from the basement after letting Mr. Quinn, the plumber, in:
"Do you know that this is a most heavenly luncheon?" she said, greeting his return with delightfully fearless eyes. "Such Astrakan caviar! Such salad! Everything I care for most. And how on earth you guessed I can't imagine.... I'm beginning to think you are rather wonderful."
"Do you know that this is such an amazing lunch?" she said, greeting his return with confidently bright eyes. "Such Astrakan caviar! Such salad! Everything I love the most. And how on earth you figured it out, I can't imagine.... I'm starting to think you’re pretty amazing."
They lifted the long, slender glasses of iced Ceylon tea and regarded one another over the frosty rims--a long, curious glance from her; a straight gaze from him, which she decided not to sustain too long.
They raised their tall, slim glasses of iced Ceylon tea and looked at each other over the frosty rims—a long, curious look from her; a steady stare from him, which she chose not to hold for too long.
Later, when she gave the signal, they rose as though they had often dined together, and moved leisurely out through the dim, shrouded drawing-rooms where, in the golden dusk, the odor of camphor hung.
Later, when she gave the signal, they stood up as if they had frequently had dinner together and casually strolled out through the dim, covered drawing rooms where, in the golden twilight, the smell of camphor lingered.
She had taken a great cluster of dewy Bride's roses from the centerpiece, and as she walked forward, sedately youthful, beside him, her fresh, young face brooded over the fragrance of the massed petals.
She had picked a big bunch of dewy Bride's roses from the centerpiece, and as she walked forward, gracefully youthful, beside him, her fresh, young face lingered on the scent of the gathered petals.
"Sweet--how sweet!" she murmured to herself, and as they reached the end of the vista she half turned to face him, dreamily, listless, confident.
"Sweet—how sweet!" she murmured to herself, and as they reached the end of the view, she half turned to face him, dreamily, relaxed, and sure of herself.
They looked at one another, she with chin brushing the roses.
They looked at each other, her chin resting on the roses.
"The strangest of all," she said, "is that it seems all right--and--and we know that it is all quite wrong.... Had you better go?"
"The weirdest thing of all," she said, "is that it seems totally fine--and--and we know that it's completely messed up.... Should you head out?"
"Unless I ought to wait and make sure your maid does not fail you.... Shall I?" he asked evenly.
"Unless I should wait and make sure your maid doesn’t let you down... Should I?" he asked calmly.
She did not answer. He drew a linen-swathed armchair toward her; she absently seated herself and lay back, caressing the roses with delicate lips and chin.
She didn't respond. He pulled a linen-covered armchair closer to her; she automatically sat down and leaned back, gently touching the roses with her soft lips and chin.
Twice she looked up at him, standing there by the boarded windows. Sunshine filtered through the latticework at the top--enough for them to see each other as in a dull afterglow.
Twice she glanced up at him, standing there by the boarded windows. Sunshine streamed through the latticework at the top—just enough for them to see each other in a muted afterglow.
"I wonder how soon my maid will come," she mused, dropping the loose roses on her knees. "If she is going to be very long about it perhaps-- perhaps you might care to find a chair--if you have decided to wait."
"I wonder how soon my maid will arrive," she thought, letting the loose roses fall onto her lap. "If it's going to take a while, maybe--maybe you'd like to grab a chair--if you've decided to wait."
He drew one from a corner and seated himself, pulses hammering his throat.
He pulled one from a corner and sat down, his heart pounding in his throat.
Through the stillness of the house sounded at intervals the clink of glass from the pantry. Other sounds from above indicated the plumber's progress from floor to floor.
Through the quiet of the house, the occasional clink of glass echoed from the pantry. Other noises from upstairs signaled the plumber's movement from floor to floor.
"Do you realize," she said impulsively, "how very nice you have been to me? What a perfectly horrid position I might have been in, with poor Clarence on the back fence! And suppose I had dared follow him alone to the cellar? I--I might have been there yet--up to my neck in coal?"
"Do you realize," she said suddenly, "how really nice you’ve been to me? What a truly awful situation I could have been in, with poor Clarence on the back fence! And what if I had been foolish enough to follow him alone to the cellar? I—I could still be there—buried in coal?"
She gazed into space with considerable emotion.
She stared into space with a lot of feeling.
"And now," she said, "I am safe here in my own home. I have lunched divinely, a maid is on the way to me, Clarence remains somewhere safe indoors, Mr. Quinn is flitting from faucet to faucet, the electric light and the telephone will be in working order before very long--and it is all due to you!"
"And now," she said, "I'm safe here in my own home. I've had a wonderful lunch, a maid is on her way to me, Clarence is staying somewhere safe indoors, Mr. Quinn is moving from faucet to faucet, and the electric light and the telephone will be working soon--and it's all thanks to you!"
"I--I did a few things I almost w-wish I hadn't," stammered Brown, "b-because I can't, somehow, decently t-tell you how tremendously I--I--" He stuck fast.
"I—I did a few things I almost wish I hadn't," stammered Brown, "b-because I can't, somehow, decently tell you how incredibly I—I—" He got stuck.
"What?"
"What?"
"It would look as though I were presuming on a t-trifling service rendered, and--oh, I can't say it; I want to, but I can't."
"It would seem like I was taking advantage of a small favor done for me, and—oh, I can't say it; I want to, but I can't."
"Say what? Please, I don't mind what you are--are going to say."
"Say what? Please, I don't care what you’re going to say."
"It's--it's that I----"
"It's just that I----"
"Y-es?" in soft encouragement.
"Y-es?" in gentle encouragement.
"W-want to know you most tremendously now. I don't want to wait several years for chance and hazard."
"I really want to get to know you now. I don't want to wait several years for luck and chance."
"O-h!" as though the information conveyed a gentle shock to her. Her low-breathed exclamation nearly finished Brown.
"O-h!" as if the news hit her like a gentle shock. Her softly breathed response nearly knocked Brown off his feet.
"I knew you'd think it unpardonable for me--at such a time--to venture to--to--ask--say--express--convey----"
"I knew you'd think it unforgivable for me--at such a time--to dare to--to--ask--say--express--convey----"
"Why do you--how can I--where could we--" She recovered herself resolutely. "I do not think we ought to take advantage of an accident like this.... Do you? Besides, probably, in the natural course of social events----"
"Why do you--how can I--where could we--" She steadied herself. "I don't think we should take advantage of an accident like this.... Do you? Besides, probably, in the natural course of social events----"
"But it may be years! months! weeks!" insisted Brown, losing control of himself.
"But it could be years! months! weeks!" Brown insisted, losing control of himself.
"I should hope it would at least be a decently reasonable interval of several weeks----"
"I hope it would at least be a reasonably decent interval of several weeks----"
"But I don't know what to do if I never see you again for weeks! I c-care so much--for--you."
"But I don't know what to do if I don't see you for weeks! I c-care so much--about--you."
She shrank back in her chair, and in her altered face he read that he had disgraced himself.
She recoiled in her chair, and from her changed expression, he realized that he had embarrassed himself.
"I knew I was going to," he said in despair. "I couldn't keep it--I couldn't stop it. And now that you see what sort of a man I am I'm going to tell you more."
"I knew I was going to," he said in despair. "I couldn't hold it back—I couldn't stop it. And now that you see what kind of person I am, I'm going to share more with you."
"You need not," she said faintly.
"You don't have to," she said softly.
"I must. Listen! I--I don't even know your full name--all I know is that it is Betty, and that your cat's name is Clarence and your plumber's name is Quinn. But if I didn't know anything at all concerning you it would have been the same. I suppose you will think me insane if I tell you that before the car, on which you rode, came into sight I knew you were on it. And I--cared--for--you--before I ever saw you."
"I have to. Listen! I—I don’t even know your full name—all I know is that your name is Betty, and your cat is named Clarence and your plumber is named Quinn. But even if I didn’t know anything about you, it wouldn’t matter. I guess you’ll think I’m crazy if I tell you that before the car you were in came into view, I knew you were on it. And I—cared—about—you—before I ever saw you."
"I don't understand----"
"I don't get it----"
"I know you don't. I don't. All I understand is that what you and I have done has been done by us before, sometime, somewhere--part only-- down to--down to where you changed cars. Up to that moment, before you took the Lexington Avenue car, I recognized each incident as it occurred.... But when all this happened to us before I must have lost courage--for I did not recognize anything after that except that I cared for you.... Do you understand one single word of what I have been saying?"
"I know you don't. I don't. All I get is that what you and I have done has happened before, at some point, somewhere—only part of it—down to—down to where you switched cars. Up until that moment, before you took the Lexington Avenue car, I could see each thing as it happened.... But when all this occurred to us before, I must have lost my nerve—because I didn't recognize anything after that except that I cared for you.... Do you get even a single word of what I've been saying?"
The burning color in her face had faded slowly while he was speaking; her lifted eyes grew softer, serious, as he ended impetuously.
The flush in her face faded gradually as he spoke; her lifted eyes became softer and more serious as he finished impulsively.
She looked at him in retrospective silence. There was no mistaking his astonishing sincerity, his painfully earnest endeavor to impart to her some rather unusual ideas in which he certainly believed. No man who looked that way at a woman could mean impertinence; her own intelligence satisfied her that he had not meant and could never mean offense to any woman.
She stared at him in thoughtful silence. There was no doubt about his remarkable sincerity, his genuinely earnest effort to share some pretty unusual ideas he truly believed in. No man who looked at a woman like that could be disrespectful; her own intelligence assured her that he had never intended and could never intend to offend any woman.
"Tell me," she said quietly, "just what you mean. It is not possible for you to--care--for--me.... Is it?"
"Tell me," she said softly, "what do you really mean? There's no way you could--care--for--me.... Is there?"
He disclosed to her, beginning briefly with his own name, material and social circumstances, a pocket edition of his hitherto uneventful career, the advent that morning of the emissary from The Green Mouse, his discussion with Smith, the strange sensation which crept over him as he emerged from the tunnel at Forty-second Street, his subsequent altercation with Smith, and the events that ensued up to the eruption of Clarence.
He told her, starting off with his name, his background, and his social situation, a condensed version of his otherwise boring life, the arrival that morning of the representative from The Green Mouse, his conversation with Smith, the weird feeling he got as he came out of the tunnel at Forty-second Street, his later argument with Smith, and everything that happened leading up to Clarence showing up.
He spoke in his most careful attorney's manner, frank, concise, convincing, free from any exaggeration of excitement or emotion. And she listened, alternately fascinated and appalled as, step by step, his story unfolded the links in an apparently inexorable sequence involving this young man and herself in a predestined string of episodes not yet ended-- if she permitted herself to credit this astounding story.
He spoke in his most careful lawyer's way, straightforward, brief, persuasive, and without any over-the-top excitement or emotion. She listened, both intrigued and horrified as, little by little, his story revealed the connections in an apparently unstoppable chain of events that tied this young man and her into a destined series of episodes that were not yet over—if she allowed herself to believe this unbelievable story.
Sensitively intelligent, there was no escaping the significance of the only possible deduction. She drew it and blushed furiously. For a moment, as the truth clamored in her brain, the self-evidence of it stunned her. But she was young, and the shamed recoil came automatically. Incredulous, almost exasperated, she raised her head to confront him; the red lips parted in outraged protest--parted and remained so, wordless, silent--the soundless, virginal cry dying unuttered on a mouth that had imperceptibly begun to tremble.
Sensitively intelligent, there was no ignoring the significance of the only possible conclusion. She reached it and blushed fiercely. For a moment, as the truth rushed into her mind, its clarity shocked her. But she was young, and the instinctive shame hit her hard. In disbelief, almost frustrated, she lifted her head to face him; her red lips parted in furious protest—parted and stayed that way, speechless and silent—the voiceless, innocent cry fading unspoken from a mouth that had subtly started to tremble.
Her head sank slowly; she laid her white hands above the roses heaped in her lap.
Her head slowly dropped; she rested her white hands on the pile of roses in her lap.
For a long while she remained so. And he did not speak.
For a long time, she stayed that way. And he didn’t say a word.
First the butler went away. Then Mr. Quinn followed. The maid had not yet arrived. The house was very still.
First, the butler left. Then Mr. Quinn followed. The maid hadn't arrived yet. The house was very quiet.
And after the silence had worn his self-control to the breaking point he rose and walked to the dining room and stood looking down into the yard. The grass out there was long and unkempt; roses bloomed on the fence; wistaria, in its deeper green of midsummer, ran riot over the trellis where Clarence had basely dodged his lovely mistress, and, after making a furry pin wheel of himself, had fled through the airhole into Stygian depths.
And after the silence had tested his self-control to its limits, he got up and walked to the dining room, looking down into the yard. The grass was long and wild; roses bloomed on the fence; wisteria, in its rich midsummer green, spread wildly over the trellis where Clarence had cowardly avoided his beautiful mistress, and, after turning into a furry pinwheel, had escaped through the air hole into dark depths.
Somewhere above, in the silent house, Clarence was sulkily dissembling.
Somewhere above, in the quiet house, Clarence was grumpily pretending.
"I suppose," said Brown, quietly coming back to where the girl was sitting in the golden dusk, "that I might as well find Clarence while we are waiting for your maid. May I go up and look about?"
"I guess," Brown said, quietly returning to where the girl was sitting in the golden dusk, "that I might as well find Clarence while we wait for your maid. Can I go up and look around?"
And taking her silence as assent, he started upstairs.
And interpreting her silence as agreement, he headed upstairs.
He hunted carefully, thoroughly, opening doors, peeping under furniture, investigating clothespresses, listening at intervals, at intervals calling with misleading mildness. But, like him who died in malmsey, Clarence remained perjured and false to all sentiments of decency so often protested purringly to his fair young mistress.
He hunted carefully and thoroughly, opening doors, checking under furniture, inspecting closets, listening from time to time, and occasionally calling with a falsely gentle tone. But, like the one who died in malmsey, Clarence stayed deceitful and false to all the feelings of decency he often pretended to show to his beautiful young mistress.
Mechanically Brown opened doors of closets, knowing, if he had stopped to think, that cats don't usually turn knobs and let themselves into tightly closed places.
Mechanically, Brown opened the closet doors, aware that if he had paused to think, he’d realize that cats usually don't turn knobs and let themselves into tightly closed spaces.
In one big closet on the fifth floor, however, as soon as he opened the door there came a rustle, and he sprang forward to intercept the perfidious one; but it was only the air stirring the folds of garments hanging on the wall.
In a large closet on the fifth floor, however, as soon as he opened the door, there was a rustle, and he rushed in to catch the traitor; but it was just the air moving the clothes hanging on the wall.
As he turned to step forth again the door gently closed with an ominous click, shutting him inside. And after five minutes' frantic fussing he realized that he was imprisoned by a spring lock at the top of a strange house, inhabited only by a cat and a bewildered young girl, who might, at any moment now that the telephone was in order, call a cab and flee from a man who had tried to explain to her that they were irrevocably predestined for one another.
As he turned to step forward again, the door quietly shut with an ominous click, trapping him inside. After five minutes of panicked fussing, he realized he was locked in by a spring lock at the top of an unfamiliar house, occupied only by a cat and a confused young girl, who might, now that the phone was working, call a cab and escape from a guy who had tried to tell her that they were meant to be together.
Calling and knocking were dignified and permissible, but they did no good. To kick violently at the door was not dignified, but he was obliged to do it. Evidently the closet was too remote for the sound to penetrate down four flights of stairs.
Calling and knocking were respectful and allowed, but they didn’t work. Kicking the door hard wasn’t respectful, but he had to do it. Clearly, the closet was too far away for anyone to hear him from four flights down.
He tried to break down the door--they do it in all novels. He only rebounded painfully, ineffectively, which served him right for reading fiction.
He tried to kick down the door—like they do in all the novels. He just bounced off painfully and uselessly, which was what he deserved for reading fiction.
It irked him to shout; he hesitated for a long while; then sudden misgiving lest she might flee the house seized him and he bellowed. It was no use.
It annoyed him to yell; he paused for a long time; then a sudden worry that she might run out of the house overtook him and he shouted. It was pointless.
The pitchy quality of the blackness in the closet aided him in bruising himself; he ran into a thousand things of all kinds of shapes and textures every time he moved. And at each fresh bruise he grew madder and madder, and, holding the cat responsible, applied language to Clarence of which he had never dreamed himself capable.
The thick darkness in the closet made it easy for him to hurt himself; he bumped into countless objects with all sorts of shapes and textures every time he moved. With each new bruise, he got angrier and angrier, and blaming the cat, he yelled at Clarence using words he never thought he could say.
Then he sat down. He remained perfectly still for a long while, listening and delicately feeling his hurts. A curious drowsiness began to irritate him; later the irritation subsided and he felt a little sleepy.
Then he sat down. He stayed completely still for a long time, listening and gently feeling his aches. A strange drowsiness started to annoy him; later, the annoyance faded and he felt a bit sleepy.
His heart, however, thumped like an inexpensive clock; the cedar-tainted air in the closet grew heavier; he felt stupid, swaying as he rose. No wonder, for the closet was as near air-tight as it could be made. Fortunately he did not realize it.
His heart, though, pounded like a cheap clock; the cedar-scented air in the closet became thicker; he felt foolish, swaying as he stood up. No surprise, since the closet was about as close to airtight as it could get. Thankfully, he didn’t notice it.
And, meanwhile, downstairs, Betty was preparing for flight.
And, meanwhile, downstairs, Betty was getting ready to leave.
She did not know where she was going--how far away she could get in a rose-silk morning gown. But she had discovered, in a clothespress, an automobile duster, cap, and goggles; on the strength of these she tried the telephone, found it working, summoned a coupé, and was now awaiting its advent. But the maid from Dooley's must first arrive to take charge of the house and Clarence until she, Betty, could summon her family to her assistance and defy The Green Mouse, Beekman Brown, and Destiny behind her mother's skirts.
She had no idea where she was headed or how far she could go in a rose-silk morning gown. But she had found an automobile duster, cap, and goggles in a closet; with these, she tried the phone, discovered it was working, called for a cab, and was now waiting for it to arrive. However, the maid from Dooley's had to get there first to take care of the house and Clarence until she, Betty, could reach out to her family for help and stand up to The Green Mouse, Beekman Brown, and Destiny hiding behind her mother's skirts.
Flight was, therefore, imperative--it was absolutely indispensable that she put a number of miles between herself and this young man who had just informed her that Fate had designed them for one another.
Flight was, therefore, essential—it was crucial that she put some distance between herself and the young man who had just told her that Fate had intended them for each other.
She was no longer considering whether she owed this amazing young man any gratitude, or what sort of a man he might be, agreeable, well-bred, attractive; all she understood was that this man had suddenly stepped into her life, politely expressing his conviction that they could not, ultimately, hope to escape from each other. And, beginning to realize the awful import of his words, the only thing that restrained her from instant flight on foot was the hidden Clarence. She could not abandon her cat. She must wait for that maid. She waited. Meanwhile she hunted up Dooley's Agency in the telephone book and called them up. They told her the maid was on the way--as though Dooley's Agency could thwart Destiny with a whole regiment of its employees!
She was no longer thinking about whether she should be grateful to this amazing young man or what kind of person he might be—charming, well-mannered, attractive; all she knew was that this man had suddenly entered her life, politely insisting that they really couldn't escape from each other. And as she began to grasp the serious meaning of his words, the only thing holding her back from running away was her hidden cat, Clarence. She couldn't leave her cat behind. She had to wait for the maid. So, she waited. In the meantime, she found Dooley's Agency in the phone book and gave them a call. They told her the maid was on the way—as if Dooley's Agency could challenge Destiny with a whole army of employees!
She had discarded her roses with a shudder; cap, goggles, duster, lay in her lap. If the maid came before Brown returned she'd flee. If Brown came back before the maid arrived she'd tell him plainly what she had decided on, thank him, tell him kindly but with decision that, considering the incredible circumstances of their encounter, she must decline to encourage any hope he might entertain of ever again seeing her.
She had tossed aside her roses with a shiver; her hat, goggles, and coat rested in her lap. If the maid showed up before Brown got back, she'd run. If Brown returned before the maid arrived, she'd clearly explain her decision, thank him, and kindly but firmly tell him that, given the unusual circumstances of their meeting, she couldn't support any hope he might have of ever seeing her again.
At this stern resolve her heart, being an automatic and independent affair, refused to approve, and began an unpleasantly irregular series of beats which annoyed her.
At this serious decision, her heart, working on its own and without any input from her, wouldn't agree and started an uncomfortably erratic rhythm that bothered her.
"It is true," she admitted to herself, "that he is a gentleman, and I can scarcely be rude enough, after what he has done for me, to leave him without any explanation at all.... His clothes are ruined. I must remember that."
"It’s true," she acknowledged to herself, "that he is a gentleman, and I can hardly be rude enough, after everything he has done for me, to leave him without any explanation at all.... His clothes are ruined. I have to keep that in mind."
Her heart seemed to approve such sentiments, and it beat more regularly as she seated herself at a desk, found in it a sheet of notepaper and a pencil, and wrote rapidly:
Her heart appeared to agree with those feelings, and it beat more steadily as she sat down at a desk, found a sheet of notepaper and a pencil, and wrote quickly:
"Dear Mr. Brown:
"Hi Mr. Brown:"
"If my maid comes before you do I am going. I can't help it. The maid will stay to look after Clarence until I can return with some of the family. I don't mean to be rude, but I simply cannot stand what you told me about our--about what you told me.... I'm sorry you tore your clothes.
"If my maid arrives before you do, I'm leaving. I can't help it. The maid will take care of Clarence until I can get back with some family members. I don't mean to be rude, but I just can't handle what you told me about our--about what you mentioned.... I'm sorry you ripped your clothes."
"Please believe my flight has nothing to do with you personally or your conduct, which was perfectly ('charming' scratched out) proper. It is only that to be suddenly told that one is predestined to ('marry' scratched out) become intimately acquainted (all this scratched out and a new line begun).
"Please understand that my departure has nothing to do with you personally or how you acted, which was perfectly proper. It's just that being suddenly told that one is meant to become closely connected..."
"It is unendurable for a girl to think that there is no freedom of choice in life left her--to be forced, by what you say are occult currents, into--friendship--with a perfectly strange man at the other end. So I don't think we had better ever again attempt to find anybody to present us to each other. This doesn't sound right, but you will surely understand.
"It’s incredibly hard for a girl to believe that she has no freedom to choose in life—to be pushed, by what you call hidden forces, into a friendship with a total stranger on the other end. So I think we shouldn’t try to find anyone to introduce us to each other again. This doesn’t sound quite right, but you’ll definitely understand."
"Please do not misjudge me. I must appear to you uncivil, ungrateful, and childish--but I am, somehow, a little frightened. I know you are perfectly nice--but all that has happened is almost, in a way, terrifying to me. Not that I am cowardly; but you must understand. You will--won't you?.... But what is the use of my asking you, as I shall never see you again.
"Please don’t misunderstand me. I might seem rude, ungrateful, and immature to you—but I’m actually a bit scared. I know you’re really nice—but everything that’s happened feels almost, in a way, terrifying to me. It’s not that I’m weak; you just have to understand. You will—won’t you?.... But what’s the point of me asking you, since I’ll never see you again."
"So I am only going to thank you, and say ('with all my heart' crossed out) very cordially, that you have been most kind, most generous and considerate--most--most----"
"So I’m just going to thank you and say, very cordially, that you have been incredibly kind, extremely generous, and really considerate—truly—truly—"
Her pencil faltered; she looked into space, and the image of Beekman Brown, pleasant-eyed, attractive, floated unbidden out of vacancy and looked at her.
Her pencil wavered; she stared off into the distance, and the image of Beekman Brown, with his pleasant eyes and good looks, suddenly appeared in her mind and gazed back at her.
She stared back at the vision curiously, more curiously as her mind evoked the agreeable details of his features, resting there, chin on the back of her hand, from which, presently, the pencil fell unheeded.
She looked back at the vision with curiosity, even more intrigued as her mind recalled the familiar details of his features, resting there with his chin on the back of her hand, from which the pencil eventually fell unnoticed.
What could he be doing upstairs all this while. She had not heard him for many minutes now. Why was he so still?
What could he be doing upstairs all this time? She hadn't heard him for several minutes now. Why was he so quiet?
She straightened up at her desk and glanced uneasily across her shoulder, listening.
She sat up straight at her desk and nervously looked over her shoulder, listening.
Not a sound from above; she rose and walked to the foot of the stairs.
Not a sound from above; she got up and walked to the bottom of the stairs.
Why was he so still? Had he found Clarence? Had anything gone wrong? Had Clarence become suddenly rabid and attacked him. Cats can't annihilate big, strong young men. But where was he? Had he, pursuing his quest, emerged through the scuttle on to the roof--and--and--fallen off?
Why was he so quiet? Had he found Clarence? Had something gone wrong? Did Clarence suddenly go wild and attack him? Cats can't take down big, strong young men. But where was he? Had he, in his search, climbed up through the hatch onto the roof--and--and--fallen off?
Scarcely knowing what she did she mounted on tiptoe to the second floor, listening. The silence troubled her; she went from room to room, opening doors and clothespresses. Then she mounted to the third floor, searching more quickly. On the fourth floor she called to him in a voice not quite steady. There was no reply.
Scarcely aware of her actions, she tiptoed up to the second floor, listening intently. The silence unnerved her; she moved from room to room, opening doors and wardrobes. Then she went up to the third floor, searching more hurriedly. On the fourth floor, she called out to him in a voice that trembled slightly. There was no response.
Alarmed now, she hurriedly flung open doors everywhere, then, picking up her rose-silk skirts, she ran to the top floor and called tremulously.
Alarmed now, she quickly flung open doors everywhere, then, lifting her rose-silk skirts, she ran to the top floor and called nervously.
A faint sound answered; bewildered, she turned to the first closet at hand, and her cheeks suddenly blanched as she sprang to the door of the cedar press and tore it wide open.
A faint sound responded; confused, she turned to the nearest closet, and her cheeks went pale as she rushed to the door of the cedar press and yanked it wide open.
He was lying on his face amid a heap of rolled rugs, clothes hangers and furs, quite motionless.
He was lying on his stomach amid a pile of rolled-up rugs, clothing hangers, and furs, completely still.
She knew enough to run into the servants' rooms, fling open the windows and, with all the strength in her young body, drag the inanimate youth across the floor and into the fresh air.
She knew enough to rush into the staff's rooms, throw open the windows, and, using all the strength of her young body, pull the lifeless young man across the floor and out into the fresh air.
"O-h!" she said, and said it only once. Then, ashy of lip and cheek, she took hold of Brown and, lashing her memory to help her in the emergency, performed for that inanimate gentleman the rudiments of an exercise which, if done properly, is supposed to induce artificial respiration.
"O-h!" she said, and said it only once. Then, pale and trembling, she grabbed Brown and, calling on her memory to guide her in this crisis, began performing the basic steps of an exercise that, if done correctly, is meant to create artificial respiration.
It certainly induced something resembling it in Brown. After a while he made unlovely and inarticulate sounds; after a while the sounds became articulate. He said: "Betty!" several times, more or less distinctly. He opened one eye, then the other; then his hands closed on the hands that were holding his wrists; he looked up at her from where he lay on the floor. She, crouched beside him, eyes still dilated with the awful fear of death, looked back, breathless, trembling.
It definitely triggered something similar in Brown. After a bit, he started making harsh, inarticulate sounds; eventually, the sounds became clearer. He said, "Betty!" several times, more or less clearly. He opened one eye, then the other; then his hands grasped the ones holding his wrists; he looked up at her from the floor. She, crouched beside him, eyes still wide with the terrifying fear of death, looked back, breathless and trembling.
"That is a devil of a place, that closet," he said faintly.
"That's a really awful place, that closet," he said weakly.
She tried to smile, tried wearily to free her hands, watched them, dazed, being drawn toward him, drawn tight against his lips--felt his lips on them.
She tried to smile, wearily attempted to free her hands, watched them, dazed, being pulled toward him, pressed tight against his lips—felt his lips on them.
Then, without warning, an incredible thrill shot through her to the heart, stilling it--silencing pulse and breath--nay, thought itself. She heard him speaking; his words came to her like distant sounds in a dream:
Then, out of nowhere, an incredible thrill surged through her to the heart, freezing it—silencing her pulse and breath—no, even her thoughts. She heard him speaking; his words reached her like fading sounds in a dream:
"I cared for you. You give me life--and I adore you.... Let me. It will not harm you. The problem of life is solved for me; I have solved it; but unless some day you will prove it for me--Betty--the problem of life is but a sorry sum--a total of ciphers without end.... No other two people in all the world could be what we are and what we have been to each other. No other two people could dare to face what we dare face." He paused: "Dare we, Betty?"
"I cared about you. You give me life—and I adore you.... Let me do this. It won’t hurt you. I’ve figured out the problem of life for myself, but unless you can show me someday—Betty—the problem of life is just a disappointing equation—a sum of endless zeros.... No other two people in the world could be what we are and what we’ve been to each other. No one else could face what we’re willing to face." He paused: "Are we ready for this, Betty?"
Her eyes turned from his. He rose unsteadily, supported on one arm; she sprang to her feet, looked at him, and, as he made an awkward effort to rise, suddenly bent forward and gave him both hands in aid.
Her eyes shifted away from his. He got up unsteadily, using one arm for support; she jumped to her feet, looked at him, and as he awkwardly tried to stand, she suddenly leaned forward and offered him both hands for help.
"Wait--wait!" she said; "let me try to think, if I can. Don't speak to me again--not yet--not now."
"Wait--wait!" she said. "Let me try to think, if I can. Don't talk to me again--not yet--not now."
But, at intervals, as they descended the flights of stairs, she turned instinctively to watch his progress, for he still moved with difficulty.
But, occasionally, as they went down the stairs, she instinctively turned to watch him, since he still struggled to keep up.
In the drawing-room they halted, he leaning heavily on the back of a chair, she, distrait, restless, pacing the polished parquet, treading her roses under foot, turning from time to time to look at him--a strange, direct, pure-lidded gaze that seemed to freshen his very soul.
In the living room, they stopped, him leaning heavily on the back of a chair, her distracted and restless, pacing the polished floor, stepping on her roses, occasionally turning to look at him—an unusual, direct, clear-eyed stare that seemed to revive his very soul.
Once he stooped and picked up one of the trodden roses bruised by her slim foot; once, as she passed him, pacing absently the space between the door and him, he spoke her name.
Once he bent down and picked up one of the crushed roses damaged by her slim foot; once, as she walked by him, pacing absentmindedly between the door and him, he said her name.
But: "Wait!" she breathed. "You have said everything. It is for me to reply--if I speak at all. C-can't you wait for--me?"
But: "Wait!" she gasped. "You've said everything. It’s up to me to respond—if I even decide to speak. C-can't you wait for—me?"
"Have I angered you?"
"Did I upset you?"
She halted, head high, superb in her slim, young beauty.
She stopped, head held high, stunning in her slim, youthful beauty.
"Do I look it?"
"Do I seem like it?"
"I don't know."
"IDK."
"Nor I. Let me find out."
"Me neither. I'll check."
The room had become dimmer; the light on her hair and face and hands glimmered dully as she passed and re-passed him in her restless progress-- restless, dismayed, frightened progress toward a goal she already saw ahead--close ahead of her--every time she turned to look at him. She already knew the end.
The room had gotten dimmer; the light on her hair, face, and hands glowed faintly as she walked back and forth past him in her restless movement—restless, anxious, scared movement toward a goal she could already see up ahead—right in front of her—every time she turned to look at him. She already knew the outcome.
That man! And she knew that already he must be, for her, something that she could never again forget--something she must reckon with forever and ever while life endured.
That man! And she knew that he had to be, for her, something that she could never forget—something she would have to deal with forever and ever as long as she lived.
She paused and inspected him almost insolently. Suddenly the rush of the last revolt overwhelmed her; her eyes blazed, her white hands tightened into two small clenched fists--and then tumult died in her ringing ears, the brightness of the eyes was quenched, her hands relaxed, her head sank low, lower, never again to look on this man undismayed, heart free, unafraid--never again to look into this man's eyes with the unthinking, unbelieving tranquillity born of the most harmless skepticism in the world.
She paused and looked at him almost defiantly. Suddenly, the chaos of the recent rebellion flooded over her; her eyes flared, her pale hands turned into small clenched fists—and then the noise faded in her ringing ears, the light in her eyes dimmed, her hands relaxed, and her head dropped low, lower, never again to face this man without fear, with her heart unburdened—never again to look into this man's eyes with the naïve, unshakeable calm that comes from the most harmless skepticism in the world.
She stood there in silence, heard his step beside her, raised her head with an effort.
She stood there quietly, heard him step up next to her, and lifted her head with some effort.
"Betty!"
"Hey, Betty!"
Her hands quivered, refusing surrender. He bent and lifted them, pressing them to his eyes, his forehead. Then lowered them to the level of his lips, holding them suspended, eyes looking into hers, waiting.
Her hands shook, unwilling to give in. He bent down and took them, pressing them to his eyes, then his forehead. Then he lowered them to his lips, holding them in the air, his eyes locked on hers, waiting.
Suddenly her eyes closed, a convulsive little tremor swept her, she pressed both clasped hands against his lips, her own moved, but no words came--only a long, sweet, soundless sigh, soft as the breeze that stirs the crimson maple buds when the snows of spring at last begin to melt.
Suddenly, her eyes shut, a quick little shiver ran through her. She pressed both her clasped hands against his lips, her own moved, but no words came—only a long, sweet, silent sigh, gentle as the breeze that rustles the red maple buds when the spring snows finally start to melt.
From a dark corner under the piano Clarence watched them furtively.
From a shadowy spot under the piano, Clarence watched them quietly.
XII
SYBILLA
Showing What Comes of Disobedience, Rosium, and Flour-Paste
Showing What Happens When You Disobey, Rosium, and Flour-Paste
About noon Bushwyck Carr bounced into the gymnasium, where the triplets had just finished their fencing lesson.
About noon, Bushwyck Carr bounced into the gym, where the triplets had just wrapped up their fencing lesson.
"Did any of you three go into the laboratory this morning?" he demanded, his voice terminating in a sort of musical bellow, like the blast of a mellow French horn on a touring car.
"Did any of you three go into the lab this morning?" he asked, his voice ending in a sort of musical shout, like the sound of a smooth French horn on a road trip.
The triplets--Flavilla, Drusilla, and Sybilla--all clothed precisely alike in knee kilts, plastrons, gauntlets and masks, came to attention, saluting their parent with their foils. The Boznovian fencing mistress, Madame Tzinglala, gracefully withdrew to the dressing room and departed.
The triplets—Flavilla, Drusilla, and Sybilla—all dressed exactly the same in knee-length skirts, fitted tops, gloves, and masks, stood at attention, saluting their parent with their fencing swords. The Boznovian fencing instructor, Madame Tzinglala, elegantly stepped back to the dressing room and left.
"Which of you three girls went into the laboratory this morning?" repeated their father impatiently.
"Which of you three girls went into the lab this morning?" their father repeated impatiently.
The triplets continued to stand in a neat row, the buttons of their foils aligned and resting on the hardwood floor. In graceful unison they removed their masks; three flushed and unusually pretty faces regarded the author of their being attentively--more attentively still when that round and ruddy gentleman, executing a facial contortion, screwed his monocle into an angry left eye and glared.
The triplets kept standing in a straight line, the buttons of their swords lined up and touching the hardwood floor. In perfect harmony, they took off their masks; three blushing and surprisingly lovely faces looked at the man who created them with great focus—especially when that round and rosy-faced gentleman, making a funny face, screwed his monocle into his angry left eye and glared.
"Didn't I warn you to keep out of that laboratory?" he asked wrathfully; "didn't I explain to you that it was none of your business? I believe I informed you that whatever is locked up in that room is no concern of yours. Didn't I?"
"Didn't I tell you to stay out of that lab?" he asked angrily. "Didn't I make it clear that it was none of your business? I think I warned you that whatever's locked up in that room is not your concern. Didn't I?"
"Yes, Pa-pah."
"Yes, Dad."
"Well, confound it, what did you go in for, then?"
"Well, what on earth did you go in for, then?"
An anxious silence was his answer. "You didn't all go in, did you?" he demanded in a melodious bellow.
An anxious silence was his response. "You didn't all go in, did you?" he asked in a melodic shout.
"Oh, no, Pa-pah!"
"Oh no, Dad!"
"Did two of you go?"
"Did you both go?"
"Oh-h, n-o, Pa-pah!"
"Oh no, Dad!"
"Well, which one did?"
"Well, which one did it?"
The line of beauty wavered for a moment; then Sybilla stepped slowly to the front, three paces, and halted with downcast eyes.
The line of beauty flickered for a moment; then Sybilla stepped slowly forward, three steps, and stopped with her eyes downcast.
"I told you not to, didn't I?" said her father, scowling the monocle out of his eye and reinserting it.
"I told you not to, didn't I?" her father said, frowning as he took his monocle out of his eye and put it back in.
"Y-yes, Pa-pah."
"Y-yes, Pa-Pah."
"But you did?"
"But you actually did?"
"Y-yes----"
"Y-yes..."
"That will do! Flavilla! Drusilla! You are excused," dismissing the two guiltless triplets with a wave of the terrible eyeglass; and when they had faced to the rear and retired in good order, closing the door behind them, he regarded his delinquent daughter in wrathy and rubicund dismay.
"That’s enough! Flavilla! Drusilla! You can go," he said, waving the intimidating eyeglass and sending the two innocent triplets away. Once they turned and left in an orderly fashion, closing the door behind them, he looked at his guilty daughter with furious and flushed disappointment.
"What did you see in that laboratory?" he demanded.
"What did you see in that lab?" he asked.
Sybilla began to count on her fingers. "As I walked around the room I noticed jars, bottles, tubes, lamps, retorts, blowpipes, batteries----"
Sybilla started counting on her fingers. "As I walked around the room, I noticed jars, bottles, tubes, lamps, retorts, blowpipes, batteries----"
"Did you notice a small, shiny machine that somewhat resembles the interior economy of a watch?"
"Did you see a small, shiny device that looks a bit like the inner workings of a watch?"
"Yes, Pa-pah, but I haven't come to that yet----"
"Yeah, Dad, but I haven't gotten to that part yet----"
"Did you go near it?"
"Did you get close to it?"
"Quite near----"
"Very close—"
"You didn't touch it, did you?"
"You didn't mess with it, did you?"
"I was going to tell you----"
"I was going to tell you----"
"Did you?" he bellowed musically. "Answer me, Sybilla!"
"Did you?" he shouted cheerfully. "Answer me, Sybilla!"
"Y-yes--I did."
"Yeah—I did."
"What did you suppose it to be?"
"What did you think it was?"
"I thought--we all thought--that you kept a wireless telephone instrument in there----"
"I thought—we all thought—that you had a wireless phone in there----"
"Why? Just because I happen to be president of the Amalgamated Wireless Trust Company?"
"Why? Just because I'm the president of the Amalgamated Wireless Trust Company?"
"Yes. And we were dying to see a wireless telephone work.... I thought I'd like to call up Central--just to be sure I could make the thing go-- What is the matter, Pa-pah?"
"Yes. And we were eager to see a wireless phone work.... I thought I’d call Central—just to make sure I could get the thing to work—What is wrong, Pa-pah?"
He dropped into a wadded armchair and motioned Sybilla to a seat opposite. Then with another frightful facial contortion he reimbedded the monocle.
He sank into a crumpled armchair and signaled for Sybilla to take a seat across from him. Then, with another scary facial grimace, he put the monocle back in place.
"So you deliberately opened that door and went in to rummage?"
"So you intentionally opened that door and went in to search around?"
"No," said the girl; "we were--skylarking a little, on our way to the gymnasium; and I gave Brasilia a little shove toward the laboratory door, and then Flavilla pushed me--very gently--and somehow I--the door flew open and my mask fell off and rolled inside; and I went in after it. That is how it happened--partly."
"No," the girl said; "we were just messing around a bit on our way to the gym. I gave Brasilia a little nudge toward the laboratory door, then Flavilla pushed me--really lightly--and somehow I ended up with the door swinging open, and my mask fell off and rolled inside; so I went in after it. That's how it happened--kind of."
She lifted her dark and very beautiful eyes to her stony parent, then they dropped, and she began tracing figures and arabesques on the polished floor with the point of her foil. "That is partly how," she repeated.
She raised her dark, beautiful eyes to her unyielding parent, then looked down and started drawing shapes and swirls on the polished floor with the tip of her foil. "That's part of how," she said again.
"What is the other part?"
"What’s the other part?"
"The other part was that, having unfortunately disobeyed you, and being already in the room, I thought I might as well stay and take a little peep around----"
"The other part was that, having unfortunately disobeyed you, and being already in the room, I thought I might as well stay and take a little look around----"
Her father fairly bounced in his padded chair. The velvet-eyed descendant of Eve shot a fearful glance at him and continued, still casually tracing invisible arabesques with her foil's point.
Her father bounced happily in his cushioned chair. The velvet-eyed daughter of Eve cast a worried glance at him and continued, still casually drawing invisible swirls with the tip of her foil.
"You see, don't you," she said, "that being actually in, I thought I might as well do something before I came out again, which would make my disobedience worth the punishment. So I first picked up my mask, then I took a scared peep around. There were only jars and bottles and things.... I was dreadfully disappointed. The certainty of being punished and then, after all, seeing nothing but bottles, did seem rather unfair.... So I--walked around to--to see if I could find something to look at which would repay me for the punishment.... There is a proverb, isn't there Pa-pah?--something about being executed for a lamb----"
"You see, right?" she said. "Since I was actually in there, I thought I might as well do something before I went back out again, which would make my disobedience worthwhile. So I first grabbed my mask, then I took a quick, scared look around. There were only jars and bottles and stuff... I was really disappointed. The certainty of getting punished and then, after all, just seeing bottles did seem pretty unfair... So I walked around to see if I could find something to look at that would make the punishment worth it... There’s a saying, right, Pa-pah?—something about being executed over a lamb----"
"Go on!" he said sharply.
"Go ahead!" he said sharply.
"Well, all I could find that looked as though I had no business to touch it was a little jeweled machine----"
"Well, all I could find that looked like I had no reason to touch it was a little jeweled machine----"
"That was it! Did you touch it?"
"That was it! Did you touch it?"
"Yes, several times. Was it a wireless?"
"Yeah, a few times. Was it wireless?"
"Never mind! Yes, it's one kind of a wireless instrument. Go on!"
"Never mind! Yes, it's a type of wireless device. Go ahead!"
Sybilla shook her head:
Sybilla shook her head.
"I'm sure I don't see why you are so disturbingly emphatic; because I haven't an idea how to send or receive a wireless message, and I hadn't the vaguest notion how that machine might work. I tried very hard to make it go; I turned several screws and pushed all the push-buttons----"
"I'm not sure why you're being so intense about this; it's not like I know how to send or receive a wireless message, and I had no clue how that machine operated. I really tried to get it to work; I turned a bunch of screws and pressed all the buttons----"
Mr. Carr emitted a hollow, despairing sound--a sort of musical groan--and feebly plucked at space.
Mr. Carr let out a hollow, hopeless sound—kind of like a musical groan—and weakly reached out into the air.
"I tried every lever, screw, and spring," she went on calmly, "but the machine must have been out of order, for I only got one miserable little spark----"
"I tried every lever, screw, and spring," she continued calmly, "but the machine must have been broken, because I only got one tiny little spark----"
"You got a spark?"
"You got a spark?"
"Yes--just a tiny, noiseless atom of white fire----"
"Yes—a small, silent speck of white fire—"
Her father bounced to his feet and waved both hands at her distractedly.
Her father jumped up and waved both hands at her, looking a bit distracted.
"Do you know what you've done?" he bellowed.
"Do you have any idea what you've done?" he shouted.
"N-no----"
"N-no----"
"Well, you've prepared yourself to fall in love! And you've probably induced some indescribable pup to fall in love with you! And that's what you've done!"
"Well, you've gotten yourself ready to fall in love! And you've probably made some indescribable dog fall in love with you! And that's what you've done!"
"In--love!"
"In--love!"
"Yes, you have!"
"Yes, you do!"
"But how can a common wireless telephone----"
"But how can a regular cell phone----"
"It's another kind of a wireless. Your brother-in-law, William Destyn, invented it; I'm backing it and experimenting with it. I told you to keep out of that room. I hung up a sign on the door: 'Danger! Keep out!'"
"It's a different kind of wireless. Your brother-in-law, William Destyn, invented it; I'm funding and testing it. I told you to stay out of that room. I put up a sign on the door: 'Danger! Keep out!'"
"W-was that thing loaded?"
"Was that thing loaded?"
"Yes, it was loaded!"
"Yes, it was loaded!"
"W-what with?"
"With what?"
"Waves!" shouted her father, furiously. "Psychic waves! You little ninny, we've just discovered that the world and everything in it is enveloped in psychic waves, as well as invisible electric currents. The minute you got near that machine and opened the receiver, waves from your subconscious personality flowed into it. And the minute you touched that spring and got a spark, your psychic waves had signaled, by wireless, the subconscious personality of some young man--some insufferable pup--who'll come from wherever he is at present--from the world's end if need be--and fall in love with you."
"Waves!" shouted her father angrily. "Psychic waves! You little fool, we just found out that the world and everything in it is surrounded by psychic waves, along with invisible electric currents. The moment you got close to that machine and opened the receiver, waves from your subconscious poured into it. And the instant you touched that spring and got a spark, your psychic waves signaled, wirelessly, the subconscious of some young guy—some unbearable jerk—who will come from wherever he is right now—from the ends of the earth if necessary—and fall in love with you."
Mr. Carr jumped ponderously up and down in pure fury; his daughter regarded him in calm consternation.
Mr. Carr jumped up and down in pure fury; his daughter looked at him in calm shock.
"I am so very, very sorry," she said; "but I am quite certain that I am not going to fall in love----"
"I’m really, really sorry," she said; "but I’m pretty sure that I’m not going to fall in love----"
"You can't help it," roared her father, "if that instrument worked."
"You can't help it," her father shouted, "if that instrument worked."
"Is--is that what it's f-for?"
"Is that what it's for?"
"That's what it's invented for; that's why I'm putting a million into it. Anybody on earth desiring to meet the person with whom they're destined, some time or other, to fall in love, can come to us, in confidence, buy a ticket, and be hitched on to the proper psychic connection which insures speedy courtship and marriage--Damnation!"
"That's what it's made for; that's why I'm investing a million in it. Anyone on earth who wants to meet the person they're meant to fall in love with can come to us, trusting us, buy a ticket, and get connected to the right psychic link that guarantees a quick courtship and marriage—Damnation!"
"Pa-pah!"
"Pa-pah!"
"I can't help it! Any self-respecting, God-fearing father would swear! Do you think I ever expected to have my daughters mixed up with this machine? My daughters wooed, engaged and married by machinery! And you're only eighteen; do you hear me? I won't have it! I'll certainly not have it!"
"I can't help it! Any decent, God-fearing dad would lose his temper! Did you think I ever imagined my daughters getting involved with this machine? My daughters being wooed, engaged, and married off by machines! And you're only eighteen; do you understand? I won't allow it! I absolutely won't allow it!"
"But, dear, I don't in the least intend to fall in love and marry at eighteen. And if--he--really--comes, I'll tell him very frankly that I could not think of falling in love. I'll quietly explain that the machine went off by mistake and that I am only eighteen; and that Flavilla and Drusilla and I are not to come out until next winter. That," she added innocently, "ought to hold him."
"But, dear, I really don't plan to fall in love and get married at eighteen. And if--he--actually shows up, I'll honestly tell him that I can’t consider falling in love. I'll calmly explain that the situation was a mistake and that I'm only eighteen; and that Flavilla, Drusilla, and I are not supposed to come out until next winter. That," she added innocently, "should be enough to deter him."
"The thing to do," said her father, gazing fixedly at her, "is to keep you in your room until you're twenty!"
"The thing to do," her father said, staring intently at her, "is to keep you in your room until you're twenty!"
"Oh, Pa-pah!"
"Oh, Dad!"
Mr. Carr smote his florid brow.
Mr. Carr hit his flushed forehead.
"You'll stay in for a week, anyway!" he thundered mellifluously. "No motoring party for you! That's your punishment. You'll be safe for today, anyhow; and by evening William Destyn will be back from Boston and I'll consult him as to the safest way to keep you out of the path of this whippersnapper you have managed to wake up--evoke--stir out of space-- wherever he may be--whoever he may be--whatever he chances to call himself----"
"You'll be grounded for a week, anyway!" he said loudly but smoothly. "No road trip for you! That's your punishment. You'll be safe for today, at least; and by evening William Destyn will be back from Boston and I'll talk to him about the best way to keep you away from this kid you’ve somehow managed to stir up—summon—bring out of nowhere—wherever he is—whoever he is—whatever he happens to call himself----"
"George," she murmured involuntarily.
"George," she whispered instinctively.
"What!!"
"What?!"
She looked at her father, abashed, confused.
She looked at her dad, embarrassed and confused.
"How absurd of me," she said. "I don't know why I should have thought of that name, George; or why I should have said it out loud--that way--I really don't----"
"How silly of me," she said. "I don't know why I thought of that name, George; or why I said it out loud—like that—I really don't----"
"Who do you know named George?"
"Who do you know that's named George?"
"N-nobody in particular that I can think of----"
"N-nobody specific that I can think of----"
"Sybilla! Be honest!"
"Sybilla! Be real!"
"Really, I don't; I am always honest."
"Honestly, I don't; I'm always truthful."
He knew she was truthful, always; but he said:
He knew she was always honest, but he said:
"Then why the devil did you look--er--so, so moonily at me and call me George?"
"Then why on earth did you look at me so dreamily and call me George?"
"I can't imagine--I can't understand----"
"I can't imagine—I can't understand—"
"Well, I can! You don't realize it, but that cub's name must be George! I'll look out for the Georges. I'm glad I've been warned. I'll see that no two-legged object named George enters this house! You'll never go anywhere where there's anybody named George if I can prevent it."
"Well, I can! You don't get it, but that cub's name has to be George! I'll keep an eye out for the Georges. I'm glad I was told. I'll make sure that no two-legged creature named George comes into this house! You'll never go anywhere with anyone named George if I can help it."
"I--I don't want to," she returned, almost ready to cry. "You are very cruel to me----"
"I--I don't want to," she said, almost in tears. "You're being really cruel to me----"
"I wish to be. I desire to be a monster!" he retorted fiercely. "You're an exceedingly bad, ungrateful, undutiful, disobedient and foolish child. Your sisters and I are going to motor to Westchester and lunch there with your sister and your latest brother-in-law. And if they ask why you didn't come I'll tell them that it's because you're undutiful, and that you are not to stir outdoors for a week, or see anybody who comes into this house!"
"I want to be. I want to be a monster!" he shot back angrily. "You're an incredibly bad, ungrateful, disobedient, and foolish child. Your sisters and I are going to drive to Westchester to have lunch with your sister and your newest brother-in-law. And if they ask why you didn't come, I'll tell them it's because you're disobedient, and you’re not allowed to go outside for a week or see anyone who comes to this house!"
"I--I suppose I d-deserve it," she acquiesced tearfully. "I'm quite ready to be disciplined, and quite willing not to see anybody named George-- ever! Besides, you have scared me d-dreadfully! I--I don't want to go out of the house."
"I—I guess I deserve this," she admitted tearfully. "I'm totally ready to face the consequences, and I’m more than willing to avoid anyone named George—forever! Plus, you’ve really frightened me! I—I don’t want to leave the house."
And when her father had retired with a bounce she remained alone in the gymnasium, eyes downcast, lips quivering. Later still, sitting in precisely the same position, she heard the soft whir of the touring car outside; then the click of the closing door.
And when her dad left with a bounce, she stayed alone in the gym, her eyes down and her lips trembling. Later on, still in the same spot, she heard the soft hum of the car outside, followed by the sound of the door closing.
"There they go," she said to herself, "and they'll have such a jolly time, and all those very agreeable Westchester young men will be there-- particularly Mr. Montmorency.... I did like him awfully; besides, his name is Julian, so it is p-perfectly safe to like him--and I did want to see how Sacharissa looks after her bridal trip."
"There they go," she said to herself, "and they're going to have such a great time, and all those charming Westchester guys will be there—especially Mr. Montmorency.... I really liked him a lot; plus, his name is Julian, so it's perfectly safe to like him—and I really wanted to see how Sacharissa looks after her honeymoon."
Her lower lip trembled; she steadied it between her teeth, gazed miserably at the floor, and beat a desolate tattoo on it with the tip of her foil.
Her lower lip quivered; she clenched it between her teeth, looked sadly at the floor, and tapped a lonely rhythm on it with the tip of her sword.
"I am being well paid for my disobedience," she whimpered. "Now I can't go out for a week; and it's April; and when I do go out I'll be so anxious all the while, peeping furtively at every man who passes and wondering whether his name might be George.... And it is going to be horridly awkward, too.... Fancy their bringing up some harmless dancing man named George to present to me next winter, and I, terrified, picking up my débutante skirts and running.... I'll actually be obliged to flee from every man until I know his name isn't George. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What an awful outlook for this summer when we open the house at Oyster Bay! What a terrible vista for next winter!"
"I’m being paid really well for my disobedience," she cried. "Now I can’t go out for a week; it’s April; and when I do finally go out, I’ll be so anxious the entire time, sneaking glances at every guy who walks by and wondering if his name is George.... And it’s going to be so awkward, too.... Imagine them introducing some harmless guy named George to me next winter, and I, terrified, lifting up my debutante dress and running away.... I’ll actually have to avoid every guy until I know his name isn’t George. Oh, no! Oh, no! What a dreadful outlook for this summer when we open the house at Oyster Bay! What a terrible scene for next winter!"
She naïvely dabbed a tear from her long lashes with the back of her gauntlet.
She innocently wiped a tear from her long eyelashes with the back of her glove.
Her maid came, announcing luncheon, but she would have none of it, nor any other offered office, including a bath and a house gown.
Her maid came to announce lunch, but she refused it, along with any other offers, including a bath and a house robe.
"You go away somewhere, Bowles," she said, "and please, don't come near me, and don't let anybody come anywhere in my distant vicinity, because I am v-very unhappy, Bowles, and deserve to be--and I--I desire to be alone with c-conscience."
"You go away somewhere, Bowles," she said, "and please, don't come near me, and don't let anybody come anywhere close to me, because I am very unhappy, Bowles, and I deserve to be—and I— I want to be alone with my thoughts."
"But, Miss Sybilla----"
"But, Ms. Sybilla----"
"No, no, no! I don't even wish to hear your voice--or anybody's. I don't wish to hear a single human sound of any description. I--what is that scraping noise in the library?"
"No, no, no! I don’t even want to hear your voice—or anyone's. I don’t want to hear a single human sound of any kind. I—what is that scraping noise in the library?"
"A man, Miss Sybilla----"
"A man, Miss Sybilla—"
"A man! W-what's his name?"
"A guy! W-what's his name?"
"I don't know, miss. He's a workman--a paper hanger."
"I don't know, ma'am. He's a worker—a wallpaper installer."
"Oh!"
"Oh!"
"Did you wish me to ask him to stop scraping, miss?"
"Did you want me to ask him to stop scraping, miss?"
Sybilla laughed: "No, thank you." And she continued, amused at herself after her maid had withdrawn, strolling about the gymnasium, making passes with her foil at ring, bar, and punching bag. Her anxiety, too, was subsiding. The young have no very great capacity for continued anxiety. Besides, the first healthy hint of incredulity was already creeping in. And as she strolled about, swishing her foil, she mused aloud at her ease:
Sybilla laughed, "No, thanks." After her maid left, she strolled around the gym, playfully sparring with her foil against the ring, bar, and punching bag. Her anxiety was fading away as well. Young people don’t really have the ability to stay anxious for long. Plus, the first signs of disbelief were already starting to sneak in. As she walked around, flicking her foil, she started to think out loud comfortably:
"What an extraordinary and horrid machine!... How can it do such exceedingly common things? And what a perfectly unpleasant way to fall in love--by machinery!... I had rather not know who I am some day to--to like--very much.... It is far more interesting to meet a man by accident, and never suspect you may ever come to care for him, than to buy a ticket, walk over to a machine full of psychic waves and ring up some strange man somewhere on earth."
"What an incredible and terrible machine!... How can it do such incredibly ordinary things? And what a truly awful way to fall in love—through machinery!... I would much rather not know who I might someday—care for—too much.... It's way more interesting to meet someone by chance and never imagine that you might actually come to care for him than to buy a ticket, walk over to a machine full of psychic waves, and connect with some random guy somewhere on the planet."
With a shudder of disdain she dropped on to a lounge and took her face between both hands.
With a shudder of disgust, she collapsed onto a couch and cradled her face in her hands.
She was like her sisters, tall, prettily built, and articulated, with the same narrow feet and hands--always graceful when lounging, no matter what position her slim limbs fell into.
She was like her sisters, tall, nicely built, and elegant, with the same slender feet and hands—always graceful when relaxing, no matter how her slim limbs were positioned.
And now, in her fencing skirts of black and her black stockings, she was exceedingly ornamental, with the severe lines of the plastron accenting the white throat and chin, and the scarlet heart blazing over her own little heart--unvexed by such details as love and lovers. Yes, unvexed; for she had about come to the conclusion that her father had frightened her more than was necessary; that the instrument had not really done its worst; in fact, that, although she had been very disobedient, she had had a rather narrow escape; and nothing more serious than paternal displeasure was likely to be visited upon her.
And now, in her black fencing skirt and black stockings, she looked stunning, with the sharp lines of the plastron highlighting her white throat and chin, and the bright red heart shining over her own little heart—untroubled by things like love and relationships. Yes, untroubled; because she had pretty much decided that her dad had scared her more than he needed to; that the consequences hadn’t really been as bad as she thought; in fact, even though she had been quite disobedient, she had narrowly avoided serious trouble; and nothing worse than her father's disappointment was likely to come her way.
Which comforted her to an extent that brought a return of appetite; and she rang for luncheon, and ate it with the healthy nonchalance usually so characteristic of her and her sisters.
Which comforted her enough to bring back her appetite; so she called for lunch and ate it with the healthy nonchalance that was typically characteristic of her and her sisters.
"Now," she reflected, "I'll have to wait an hour for my bath"--one of the inculcated principles of domestic hygiene. So, rising, she strolled across the gymnasium, casting about for something interesting to do.
"Now," she thought, "I'll have to wait an hour for my bath"—one of the established principles of home hygiene. So, getting up, she walked across the gym, looking for something interesting to do.
She looked out of the back windows. In New York the view from back windows is not imposing.
She looked out of the back windows. In New York, the view from back windows isn't impressive.
Tiring of the inartistic prospect she sauntered out and downstairs to see what her maid might be about. Bowles was sewing; Sybilla looked on for a while with languid interest, then, realizing that a long day of punishment was before her, that she deserved it, and that she ought to perform some act of penance, started contritely for the library with resolute intentions toward Henry James.
Tired of the unartistic scene, she walked out and downstairs to see what her maid was doing. Bowles was sewing; Sybilla watched for a bit with mild interest, then, understanding that a long day of punishment was ahead of her, that she deserved it, and that she needed to do something as penance, she headed purposefully to the library with determined thoughts about Henry James.
As she entered she noticed that the bookshelves, reaching part way to the ceiling, were shrouded in sheets. Also she encountered a pair of sawhorses overlaid with boards, upon which were rolls of green flock paper, several pairs of shears, a bucket of paste, a large, flat brush, a knife and a T-square.
As she walked in, she saw that the bookshelves, which rose partway to the ceiling, were covered with sheets. She also spotted a pair of sawhorses topped with boards, where there were rolls of green flock paper, several pairs of scissors, a bucket of glue, a large flat brush, a knife, and a T-square.
"The paper hanger man," she said. "He's gone to lunch. I'll have time to seize on Henry James and flee."
"The wallpaper guy," she said. "He's gone to lunch. I’ll have time to grab some Henry James and make my escape."
Now Henry James, like some other sacred conventions, was, in that library, a movable feast. Sometimes he stood neatly arranged on one shelf, sometimes on another. There was no counting on Henry.
Now Henry James, like some other revered traditions, was, in that library, a constantly shifting presence. Sometimes he was neatly organized on one shelf, sometimes on another. You couldn’t rely on Henry.
Sybilla lifted the sheets from the face of one case and peered closer. Henry was not visible. She lifted the sheets from another case; no Henry; only G.P.R., in six dozen rakish volumes.
Sybilla lifted the sheets off the face of one case and looked closer. Henry wasn't there. She lifted the sheets from another case; still no Henry; only G.P.R., in six dozen stylish volumes.
Sybilla peeped into a third case. Then a very unedifying thing occurred. Surely, surely, this was Sybilla's disobedient day. She saw a forbidden book glimmering in old, gilded leather--she saw its classic back turned mockingly toward her--the whole allure of the volume was impudent, dog-eared, devil-may-care-who-reads-me.
Sybilla looked into a third case. Then something very unsettling happened. Surely, this was Sybilla's rebellious day. She saw a forbidden book shining in old, gilded leather—she saw its classic spine turned mockingly away from her—the whole charm of the book was audacious, dog-eared, and carefree about who reads it.
She took it out, replaced it, looked hard, hard for Henry, found him not, glanced sideways at the dog-eared one, took a step sideways.
She pulled it out, put it back, searched intently for Henry, couldn’t find him, glanced at the dog-eared one, and took a step to the side.
"I'll just see where it was printed," she said to herself, drawing out the book and backing off hastily--so hastily that she came into collision with the sawhorse table, and the paste splashed out of the bucket.
"I'll just see where it was printed," she murmured to herself, pulling out the book and stepping back quickly—so quickly that she bumped into the sawhorse table, causing the paste to splash out of the bucket.
But Sybilla paid no heed; she was examining the title page of old Dog-ear: a rather wonderful title page, printed in fascinating red and black with flourishes.
But Sybilla didn’t pay any attention; she was looking at the title page of old Dog-ear: a pretty amazing title page, printed in captivating red and black with decorative flourishes.
"I'll just see whether--" And the smooth, white fingers hesitated; but she had caught a glimpse of an ancient engraving on the next page--a very quaint one, that held her fascinated.
"I'll just see whether--" And the smooth, white fingers paused; but she had caught a glimpse of an old engraving on the next page--a really unique one, that held her captivated.
"I wonder----"
"I’m curious----"
She turned the next page. The first paragraph of the famous classic began deliciously. After a few moments she laughed, adding to herself: "I can't see what harm----"
She flipped to the next page. The first paragraph of the well-known classic started off wonderfully. After a moment, she laughed, saying to herself, "I don't see what the harm is----"
There was no harm. Her father had meant another book; but Sybilla did not know that.
There was no harm done. Her father had meant a different book; but Sybilla didn’t know that.
"I'll just glance through it to--to--be sure that I mustn't read it."
"I'll just quickly look through it to make sure I really shouldn't read it."
She laid one hand on the paper hanger's table, vaulted up sideways, and, seated on the top, legs swinging, buried herself in the book, unconscious that the overturned paste was slowly fastening her to the spattered table top.
She put one hand on the wallpaper hanger's table, jumped up sideways, and, sitting on top with her legs swinging, lost herself in the book, unaware that the spilled paste was gradually sticking her to the splattered tabletop.
An hour later, hearing steps on the landing, she sprang--that is, she went through all the graceful motions of springing lightly to the floor. But she had not budged an inch. No Gorgon's head could have consigned her to immovability more hopeless.
An hour later, hearing footsteps on the landing, she jumped—that is, she went through all the graceful motions of jumping lightly to the floor. But she hadn’t moved an inch. No Gorgon's head could have made her more hopelessly stuck.
Restrained from freedom by she knew not what, she made one frantic and demoralized effort--and sank back in terror at the ominous tearing sound.
Restricted from freedom by an unknown force, she made one desperate and disheartened attempt—and recoiled in fear at the menacing tearing sound.
She was glued irrevocably to the table.
She was stuck to the table for good.
XIII
THE CROWN PRINCE
Wherein the Green Mouse Squeaks
Where the Green Mouse Squeaks
A few minutes later the paper hanging young man entered, swinging an empty dinner pail and halted in polite surprise before a flushed young girl in full fencing costume, who sat on his operating table, feet crossed, convulsively hugging a book to the scarlet heart embroidered on her plastron.
A few minutes later, the young man with the paper hanger's job walked in, swinging an empty lunch pail. He stopped in polite surprise before a flushed girl dressed in full fencing gear, who was sitting on his operating table with her feet crossed, tightly hugging a book to the red heart stitched on her chest piece.
"I--hope you don't mind my sitting here," she managed to say. "I wanted to watch the work."
"I hope you don't mind me sitting here," she said. "I wanted to watch the work."
"By all means," he said pleasantly. "Let me get you a chair----"
"Of course," he said with a smile. "Let me grab you a chair----"
"No, thank you. I had rather sit th-this way. Please begin and don't mind if I watch you."
"No, thank you. I’d rather sit this way. Please go ahead and don’t worry about me watching you."
The young man appeared to be perplexed.
The guy looked confused.
"I'm afraid," he ventured, "that I may require that table for cutting and----"
"I'm afraid," he said, "that I might need that table for cutting and----"
"Please--if you don't mind--begin to paste. I am in-intensely interested in p-pasting--I like to w-watch p-paper p-pasted on a w-wall."
"Please—if you don’t mind—start pasting. I’m really interested in pasting—I enjoy watching paper being put on a wall."
Her small teeth chattered in spite of her; she strove to control her voice--strove to collect her wits.
Her small teeth chattered despite her efforts; she tried to control her voice—tried to gather her thoughts.
He stood irresolute, rather astonished, too.
He stood unsure, feeling pretty surprised, too.
"I'm sorry," he said, "but----"
"I'm sorry," he said, "but—"
"Please paste; won't you?" she asked.
"Please paste? Would you?" she asked.
"Why, I've got to have that table to paste on----"
"Why, I need to have that table to stick on----"
"Then d-don't think of pasting. D-do anything else; cut out some strips. I am so interested in watching p-paper hangers cut out things--"
"Then don’t think about pasting. Do anything else, like cutting out some strips. I’m really interested in watching wallpaper hangers cut things out--"
"But I need the table for that, too----"
"But I need the table for that, too—"
"No, you don't. You can't be a--a very skillful w-workman if you've got to use your table for everything----"
"No, you don't. You can't be a really skilled worker if you have to use your table for everything----"
He laughed. "You are quite right; I'm not a skillful paper hanger."
He laughed. "You’re totally right; I'm not great at hanging wallpaper."
"Then," she said, "I am surprised that you came here to paper our library, and I think you had better go back to your shop and send a competent man."
"Then," she said, "I'm surprised you came here to cover our library, and I think you should go back to your store and send a qualified person."
He laughed again. The paper hanger's youthful face was curiously attractive when he laughed--and otherwise, more or less.
He laughed again. The wallpaper guy's youthful face was strangely attractive when he laughed—and otherwise, not really.
He said: "I came to paper this library because Mr. Carr was in a hurry, and I was the only man in the shop. I didn't want to come. But they made me.... I think they're rather afraid of Mr. Carr in the shop.... And this work must be finished today."
He said: "I came to cover this library because Mr. Carr was in a rush, and I was the only one in the shop. I didn't want to be here. But they insisted.... I think they're kind of scared of Mr. Carr in the shop.... And this work has to be done today."
She did not know what to say; anything to keep him away from the table until she could think clearly.
She didn’t know what to say; anything to keep him away from the table until she could think straight.
"W-why didn't you want to come?" she asked, fighting for time. "You said you didn't want to come, didn't you?"
"W-why didn't you want to come?" she asked, stalling for time. "You said you didn't want to come, right?"
"Because," he said, smiling, "I don't like to hang wall paper."
"Because," he said with a smile, "I don't enjoy putting up wallpaper."
"But if you are a paper hanger by trade----"
"But if you're a wallpaper installer by trade----"
"I suppose you think me a real paper hanger?"
"I guess you think I'm just a pretender?"
She was cautiously endeavoring to free one edge of her skirt; she nodded absently, then subsided, crimsoning, as a faint tearing of cloth sounded.
She was carefully trying to free one edge of her skirt; she nodded absentmindedly, then fell silent, blushing, as a faint tearing sound came from the fabric.
"Go on," she said hurriedly; "the story of your career is so interesting. You say you adore paper hanging----"
"Go on," she said quickly; "your career story is so interesting. You say you love wallpapering----"
"No, I don't," he returned, chagrined. "I say I hate it."
"No, I don't," he said, embarrassed. "I mean I hate it."
"Why do you do it, then?"
"Why do you do it, then?"
"Because my father thinks that every son of his who finishes college ought to be disciplined by learning a trade before he enters a profession. My oldest brother, De Courcy, learned to be a blacksmith; my next brother, Algernon, ran a bakery; and since I left Harvard I've been slapping sheets of paper on people's walls----"
"Because my dad believes that every son of his who finishes college should learn a trade before starting a career. My oldest brother, De Courcy, became a blacksmith; my next brother, Algernon, owned a bakery; and ever since I graduated from Harvard, I've been putting up sheets of paper on people's walls----"
"Harvard?" she repeated, bewildered.
"Harvard?" she asked, confused.
"Yes; I was 1907."
"Yes; I was born in 1907."
"You!"
"You!"
He looked down at his white overalls, smiling.
He looked down at his white overalls and smiled.
"Does that astonish you, Miss Carr?--you are Miss Carr, I suppose----"
"Are you surprised by that, Miss Carr? --You are Miss Carr, I assume----"
"Sybilla--yes--we're--we're triplets," she stammered.
"Sybilla—yes—we're triplets," she stammered.
"The beauti--the--the Carr triplets! And you are one of them?" he exclaimed, delighted.
"The beautiful— the— the Carr triplets! And you’re one of them?" he exclaimed, excited.
"Yes." Still bewildered, she sat there, looking at him. How extraordinary! How strange to find a Harvard man pasting paper! Dire misgivings flashed up within her.
"Yes." Still confused, she sat there, looking at him. How amazing! How weird to see a Harvard guy pasting paper! A wave of worry washed over her.
"Who are you?" she asked tremulously. "Would you mind telling me your name. It--it isn't--George!"
"Who are you?" she asked nervously. "Could you tell me your name? It--it isn't--George!"
He looked up in pleased surprise:
He looked up in happy surprise:
"So you know who I am?"
"So you know who I am?"
"N-no. But--it isn't George--is it?"
"No. But it isn't George, right?"
"Why, yes----"
"Sure!"
"O-h!" she breathed. A sense of swimming faintness enveloped her: she swayed; but an unmistakable ripping noise brought her suddenly to herself.
"O-h!" she exhaled. A wave of dizziness washed over her: she swayed, but a distinct tearing sound snapped her back to reality.
"I am afraid you are tearing your skirt somehow," he said anxiously. "Let me----"
"I’m worried you’re ripping your skirt," he said nervously. "Let me----"
"No!"
"No way!"
The desperation of the negative approached violence, and he involuntarily stepped back.
The desperation of the negative almost turned violent, and he instinctively stepped back.
For a moment they faced one another; the flush died out on her cheeks.
For a moment, they looked at each other; the color faded from her cheeks.
"If," she said, "your name actually is George, this--this is the most-- the most terrible punishment--" She closed her eyes with her fingers as though to shut out some monstrous vision.
"If," she said, "if your name really is George, this--this is the most--the worst punishment--" She covered her eyes with her fingers as if to block out some horrific image.
"What," asked the amazed young man, "has my name to do with----"
"What," asked the surprised young man, "does my name have to do with----"
Her hands dropped from her eyes; with horror she surveyed him, his paste-spattered overalls, his dingy white cap, his dinner pail.
Her hands fell from her eyes; with shock, she looked at him, his paint-splattered overalls, his dirty white cap, his lunchbox.
"I--I won't marry you!" she stammered in white desperation. "I won't! If you're not a paper hanger you look like one! I don't care whether you're a Harvard man or not--whether you're playing at paper hanging or not--whether your name is George or not--I won't marry you--I won't! I won't!"
"I—I won't marry you!" she stammered in pure desperation. "I won't! If you're not a wallpaper hanger, you sure look like one! I don’t care if you went to Harvard or not—if you’re pretending to be a wallpaper hanger or not—if your name is George or not—I won’t marry you—I won’t! I won’t!"
With the feeling that his senses were rapidly evaporating the young man sat down dizzily, and passed a paste-spattered but well-shaped hand across his eyes.
With the sense that his awareness was quickly fading, the young man sat down, feeling lightheaded, and rubbed his paste-smeared but nicely shaped hand across his eyes.
Sybilla set her lips and looked at him.
Sybilla pressed her lips together and stared at him.
"I don't suppose," she said, "that you understand what I am talking about, but I've got to tell you at once; I can't stand this sort of thing."
"I don’t think you get what I’m talking about," she said, "but I need to tell you right now; I can't handle this kind of thing."
"W-what sort of thing?" asked the young man, feebly.
"W-what kind of thing?" asked the young man weakly.
"Your being here in this house--with me----"
"Having you here in this house—with me—"
"I'll be very glad to go----"
"I'll be really happy to go----"
"Wait! That won't do any good! You'll come back!"
"Wait! That won't help at all! You'll come back!"
"N-no, I won't----"
"N-no, I won't—"
"Yes, you will. Or I--I'll f-follow you----"
"Yeah, you will. Or I--I'll f-follow you----"
"What?"
"What’s up?"
"One or the other! We can't help it, I tell you. You don't understand, but I do. And the moment I knew your name was George----"
"One or the other! We can't help it, I’m telling you. You don’t get it, but I do. And as soon as I found out your name was George----"
"What the deuce has that got to do with anything?" he demanded, turning red in spite of his amazement.
"What on earth does that have to do with anything?" he asked, turning red despite his surprise.
"Waves!" she said passionately, "psychic waves! I--somehow--knew that he'd be named George----"
"Waves!" she said passionately, "psychic waves! I--somehow--knew that he'd be named George----"
"Who'd be named George?"
"Who would be named George?"
"He! The--man... And if I ever--if you ever expect me to--to c-care for a man all over overalls----"
"He! The—man... And if I ever—if you ever expect me to—care for a man in overalls----"
"But I don't--Good Heavens!--I don't expect you to care for--for overalls----"
"But I don't—Good heavens!—I don't expect you to care about—about overalls—"
"Then why do you wear them?" she asked in tremulous indignation.
"Then why do you wear them?" she asked in shaking anger.
The young man, galvanized, sprang from his chair and began running about, taking little, short, distracted steps. "Either," he said, "I need mental treatment immediately, or I'll wake up toward morning.... I--don't know what you're trying to say to me. I came here to--to p-paste----"
The young man, energized, jumped up from his chair and started pacing around, taking quick, frantic steps. "Either," he said, "I need therapy right now, or I'll just wake up in the morning.... I--don’t know what you’re trying to tell me. I came here to--to p-paste----"
"That machine sent you!" she said. "The minute I got a spark you started----"
"That machine sent you!" she said. "The moment I felt a spark, you started----"
"Do you think I'm a motor? Spark! Do you think I----"
"Do you think I'm a machine? Spark! Do you think I----"
"Yes, I do. You couldn't help it; I know it was my own fault, and this-- this is the dreadful punishment--g-glued to a t-table top--with a man named George----"
"Yeah, I do. You couldn't avoid it; I know it was my own mistake, and this— this is the horrible punishment—stuck to a t-table top—with a guy named George----"
"What!!!"
"What?!"
"Yes," she said passionately, "everything disobedient I have done has brought lightning retribution. I was forbidden to go into the laboratory; I disobeyed and--you came to hang wall paper! I--I took a b-book--which I had no business to take, and F-fate glues me to your horrid table and holds me fast till a man named George comes in...."
"Yes," she said passionately, "everything I've done that's disobedient has brought me serious consequences. I was told not to go into the lab; I didn’t listen and—here you are hanging wallpaper! I—I took a b-book—something I had no right to take, and fate sticks me to your awful table and keeps me here until a guy named George walks in...."
Flushed, trembling, excited, she made a quick and dramatic gesture of despair; and a ripping sound rent the silence.
Flushed, trembling, excited, she made a quick and dramatic gesture of despair, and a ripping sound broke the silence.
"Are you pasted to that table?" faltered the young man, aghast.
"Are you glued to that table?" stammered the young man, shocked.
"Yes, I am. And it's utterly impossible for you to aid me in the slightest, except by pretending to ignore it."
"Yes, I am. And it's completely impossible for you to help me at all, except by pretending it doesn't exist."
"But you--you can't remain there!"
"But you--you can't stay there!"
"I can't help remaining here," she said hotly, "until you go."
"I can't help but stay here," she said angrily, "until you leave."
"Then I'd better----"
"Then I'd better..."
"No! You shall not go! I--I won't have you go away--disappear somewhere in the city. Certainty is dreadful enough, but it's better than the awful suspense of knowing you are somewhere in the world, and are sure to come back sometime----"
"No! You are not going! I--I can’t let you leave--vanish somewhere in the city. Certainty is bad enough, but it’s better than the terrible uncertainty of knowing you’re out there in the world and are sure to come back sometime----"
"But I don't want to come back!" he exclaimed indignantly. "Why should I wish to come back? Have I said--acted--done--looked--Why should you imagine that I have the slightest interest in anything or in--in--anybody in this house?"
"But I don't want to come back!" he said angrily. "Why would I want to come back? Have I said anything—done anything—looked any way—Why would you think that I care at all about anything or anyone in this house?"
"Haven't you?"
"Have you not?"
"No!... And I cannot ignore your--your amazing--and intensely f-flattering fear that I have d-designs--that I desire--in other words, that I--er--have dared to cherish impossible aspirations in connection with a futile and absurd hope that one day you might possibly be induced to listen to any tentative suggestion of mine concerning a matrimonial alliance----"
"No!... And I can't disregard your--your incredible--and really flattering fear that I have plans--that I want--in other words, that I--uh--have dared to hold on to unrealistic hopes that one day you might actually be willing to consider any tentative proposal of mine about getting married----"
He choked and turned a dull red.
He gasped and turned a dull red.
She reddened, too, but said calmly:
She blushed as well, but said calmly:
"Thank you for putting it so nicely. But it is no use. Sooner or later you and I will be obliged to consider a situation too hopeless to admit of discussion."
"Thanks for saying it so well. But it doesn’t matter. Sooner or later, you and I will have to face a situation that’s too hopeless to talk about."
"What situation?"
"What’s the situation?"
"Ours."
"Ours."
"I can't see any situation--except your being glued--I beg your pardon!--but I must speak truthfully."
"I can't imagine any scenario—other than you being stuck—I apologize for that!—but I have to be honest."
"So must I. Our case is too desperate for anything but plain and terrible truths. And the truths are these: I touched the forbidden machine and got a spark; your name is George; I'm glued here, unable to escape; you are not rude enough to go when I ask you not to.... And now--here-- in this room, you and I must face these facts and make up our minds.... For I simply must know what I am to expect; I can't endure--I couldn't live with this hanging over me----"
"So must I. Our situation is too dire for anything but harsh and awful truths. And the truths are these: I touched the forbidden machine and got a spark; your name is George; I'm stuck here, unable to escape; you are not rude enough to leave when I ask you not to.... And now--here--in this room, you and I must confront these facts and decide what to do.... For I simply must know what to expect; I can't stand--I couldn't live with this uncertainty hanging over me----"
"What hanging over you?"
"What’s hanging over you?"
He sprang to his feet, waving his dinner pail around in frantic circles:
He jumped up, swinging his lunchbox around in wild circles:
"What is it, in Heaven's name, that is hanging over you?"
"What is it, for heaven's sake, that is bothering you?"
"Over you, too!"
"Over you, too!"
"Over me?"
"Above me?"
"Certainly. Over us both. We are headed straight for m-marriage."
"Definitely. Between the two of us. We are headed straight for m-marriage."
"T-to each other?"
"T-to one another?"
"Of course," she said faintly. "Do you think I'd care whom you are going to marry if it wasn't I? Do you think I'd discuss my own marital intentions with you if you did not happen to be vitally concerned?"
"Of course," she said softly. "Do you really think I’d care who you’re planning to marry if it wasn’t me? Do you think I’d talk about my own marriage plans with you if you weren’t so invested in it?"
"Do you expect to marry me?" he gasped.
"Do you expect to marry me?" he gasped.
"I--I don't want to: but I've got to."
"I—I don't want to, but I have to."
He stood petrified for an instant, then with a wild look began to gather up his tools.
He stood frozen for a moment, then with a frantic expression started to pick up his tools.
She watched him with the sickening certainty that if he got away she could never survive the years of suspense until his inevitable return. A mad longing to get the worst over seized her. She knew the worst, knew what Fate held for her. And she desired to get it over--have the worst happen--and be left to live out the shattered remains of her life in solitude and peace.
She watched him, feeling a sickening certainty that if he escaped, she wouldn’t be able to handle the endless wait for his eventual return. A wild urge to just face the worst took over her. She understood what was coming, knew what Fate had in store for her. And she wanted to just get it over with—let the worst happen—and be left to live the shattered pieces of her life in solitude and peace.
"If--if we've got to marry," she began unsteadily, "why not g-get it over quickly--and then I don't mind if you go away."
"If—if we have to get married," she started hesitantly, "why not just get it over with quickly—and then I won’t care if you leave."
She was quite mad: that was certain. He hastily flung some brushes into his tool kit, then straightened up and gazed at her with deep compassion.
She was definitely angry: that was for sure. He quickly tossed some brushes into his tool kit, then stood up straight and looked at her with genuine sympathy.
"Would you mind," she asked timidly, "getting somebody to come in and marry us, and then the worst will be over, you see, and we need never, never see each other again."
"Would you mind," she asked shyly, "getting someone to come in and marry us? Then the worst will be over, you see, and we’ll never, ever have to see each other again."
He muttered something soothing and began tying up some rolls of wall paper.
He softly murmured something calming and started to bundle up some rolls of wallpaper.
"Won't you do what I ask?" she said pitifully. "I-I am almost afraid that--if you go away without marrying me I could not live and endure the--the certainty of your return."
"Won't you do what I'm asking?" she said sadly. "I'm really afraid that if you leave without marrying me, I won't be able to live with the certainty that you'll come back."
He raised his head and surveyed her with deepest pity. Mad--quite mad! And so young--so exquisite... so perfectly charming in body! And the mind darkened forever.... How terrible! How strange, too; for in the pure-lidded eyes he seemed to see the soft light of reason not entirely quenched.
He lifted his head and looked at her with deep pity. Crazy—completely crazy! And so young—so beautiful... so perfectly charming in appearance! But her mind was forever clouded.... How awful! How odd, too; because in her clear eyes, he thought he could still see a glimmer of reason not completely gone.
Their eyes encountered, lingered; and the beauty of her gaze seemed to stir him to the very wellspring of compassion.
Their eyes met and held; the beauty of her gaze appeared to awaken a deep sense of compassion in him.
"Would it make you any happier to believe--to know," he added hastily, "that you and I were married?"
"Would it make you happier to believe— to know," he added quickly, "that you and I were married?"
"Y-yes, I think so."
"Yeah, I think so."
"Would you be quite happy to believe it?"
"Would you be totally okay with believing that?"
"Yes--if you call that happiness."
"Sure, if that’s what you call happiness."
"And you would not be unhappy if I never returned?"
"And you wouldn't be upset if I never came back?"
"Oh, no, no! I--that would make me--comparatively--happy!"
"Oh, no, no! That would actually make me pretty happy!"
"To be married to me, and to know you would never again see me?"
"Marrying me means you'd never see me again?"
"Yes. Will you?"
"Yeah. Will you?"
"Yes," he said soothingly. And yet a curious little throb of pain flickered in his heart for a moment, that, mad as she undoubtedly was, she should be so happy to be rid of him forever.
"Yeah," he said calmly. But still, a strange little pang of hurt flickered in his heart for a moment, that, crazy as she definitely was, she could feel so happy to be done with him for good.
He came slowly across the room to the table on which she was sitting. She drew back instinctively, but an ominous ripping held her.
He walked slowly across the room to the table where she was sitting. She instinctively pulled back, but an unsettling feeling kept her in place.
"Are you going for a license and a--a clergyman?" she asked.
"Are you getting a license and a--a clergyman?" she asked.
"Oh, no," he said gently, "that is not necessary. All we have to do is to take each other's hands--so----"
"Oh, no," he said softly, "that's not needed. All we have to do is hold hands—like this—"
She shrank back.
She recoiled.
"You will have to let me take your hand," he explained.
"You'll have to let me take your hand," he said.
She hesitated, looked at him fearfully, then, crimson, laid her slim fingers in his.
She hesitated, looked at him anxiously, then, blushing, placed her slender fingers in his.
The contact sent a quiver straight through him; he squared his shoulders and looked at her.... Very, very far away it seemed as though he heard his heart awaking heavily.
The touch sent a shiver right through him; he straightened his shoulders and looked at her... It felt like he could faintly hear his heart slowly coming to life from very far away.
What an uncanny situation! Strange--strange--his standing here to humor the mad whim of this stricken maid--this wonderfully sweet young stranger, looking out of eyes so lovely that he almost believed the dead intelligence behind them was quickening into life again.
What an eerie situation! Odd—odd—him standing here to indulge the crazy whim of this heartbroken girl—this remarkably sweet young stranger, gazing out of eyes so beautiful that he almost thought the lifeless intelligence behind them was coming back to life.
"What must we do to be married?" she whispered.
"What do we need to do to get married?" she whispered.
"Say so; that is all," he answered gently. "Do you take me for your husband?"
"Just say it; that's all," he replied softly. "Do you think of me as your husband?"
"Yes.... Do you t-take me for your--wife?"
"Yes... Do you take me to be your--wife?"
"Yes, dear----"
"Yes, honey----"
"Don't say that!... Is it--over?"
"Don't say that!... Is it over?"
"All over," he said, forcing a gayety that rang hollow in the pathos of the mockery and farce.... But he smiled to be kind to her; and, to make the poor, clouded mind a little happier still, he took her hand again and said very gently:
"All over," he said, trying to sound cheerful, though his tone felt empty amid the sadness of the mockery and farce.... But he smiled to be kind to her; and, to bring a bit more happiness to her troubled mind, he took her hand again and said very gently:
"Will it surprise you to know that you are now a princess?"
"Would it surprise you to learn that you're now a princess?"
"A--what?" she asked sharply.
"A--what?" she asked sharply.
"A princess." He smiled benignly on her, and, still beaming, struck a not ungraceful attitude.
"A princess." He smiled kindly at her and, still beaming, adopted a fairly graceful pose.
"I," he said, "am the Crown Prince of Rumtifoo."
"I," he said, "am the Crown Prince of Rumtifoo."
She stared at him without a word; gradually he lost countenance; a vague misgiving stirred within him that he had rather overdone the thing.
She looked at him in silence; slowly, he began to lose his composure; a nagging doubt crept into his mind that maybe he had pushed things too far.
"Of course," he began cheerfully, "I am an exile in disguise--er-- disinherited and all that, you know."
"Of course," he started happily, "I’m an exile in disguise—uh—disinherited and all that, you know."
She continued to stare at him.
She kept looking at him.
"Matters of state--er--revolution--and that sort of thing," he mumbled, eying her; "but I thought it might gratify you to know that I am Prince George of Rumtifoo----"
"Matters of state—uh—revolution—and stuff like that," he mumbled, looking at her; "but I thought you might find it interesting to know that I am Prince George of Rumtifoo----"
"What!"
"What?!"
The silence was deadly.
The silence was deafening.
"Do you know," she said deliberately, "that I believe you think I am mentally unsound. Do you?"
"Do you know," she said intentionally, "that I think you believe I'm not mentally stable. Do you?"
"I--you--" he began to stutter fearfully.
"I--you--" he started to stutter nervously.
"Do you?"
"Do you?"
"W-well, either you or I----"
"W-well, it's either you or me----"
"Nonsense! I thought that marriage ceremony was a miserably inadequate affair!... And I am hurt--grieved--amazed that you should do such a--a cowardly----"
"Nonsense! I thought that wedding ceremony was a terribly inadequate event!... And I am hurt—grieved—amazed that you would do such a—such a cowardly----"
"What!" he exclaimed, stung to the quick.
"What!" he yelled, surprised.
"Yes, it is cowardly to deceive a woman."
"Yes, it’s cowardly to lie to a woman."
"I meant it kindly--supposing----"
"I meant it kindly—assuming—"
"That I am mentally unsound? Why do you suppose that?"
"Are you saying I'm not mentally stable? What makes you think that?"
"Because--Good Heavens--because in this century, and in this city, people who never before saw one another don't begin to talk of marrying----"
"Because—Good grief—because in this century, and in this city, people who have never met before don’t start talking about getting married----"
"I explained to you"--she was half crying now, and her voice broke deliciously--"I told you what I'd done, didn't I?"
"I explained to you"—she was half crying now, and her voice cracked beautifully—"I told you what I did, didn't I?"
"You said you had got a spark," he admitted, utterly bewildered by her tears. "Don't cry--please don't. Something is all wrong here--there is some terrible misunderstanding. If you will only explain it to me----"
"You said you felt a spark," he admitted, completely confused by her tears. "Please don't cry—don't. Something is really wrong here—there's some awful misunderstanding. If you could just explain it to me----"
She dried her eyes mechanically: "Come here," she said. "I don't believe I did explain it clearly."
She wiped her eyes automatically: "Come here," she said. "I don't think I explained it clearly."
And, very carefully, very minutely, she began to tell him about the psychic waves, and the instrument, and the new company formed to exploit it on a commercial basis.
And, very carefully, in great detail, she started to explain to him about the psychic waves, the device, and the new company created to market it commercially.
She told him what had happened that morning to her; how her disobedience had cost her so much misery. She informed him about her father, and that florid and rotund gentleman's choleric character.
She told him what had happened to her that morning; how her disobedience had caused her so much misery. She informed him about her father and that flashy, round guy's short temper.
"If you are here when I tell him I'm married," she said, "he will probably frighten you to death; and that's one of the reasons why I wish to get it over and get you safely away before he returns. As for me, now that I know the worst, I want to get the worst over and--and live out my life quietly somewhere.... So now you see why I am in such a hurry, don't you?"
"If you're here when I tell him I'm married," she said, "he'll probably scare you to death; and that's one of the reasons why I want to get this over with and get you out of here safely before he comes back. As for me, now that I know the worst, I want to face it and--and live out my life quietly somewhere.... So now you see why I'm in such a rush, right?"
He nodded as though stunned, leaning there on the table, hands folded, head bent.
He nodded in disbelief, leaning on the table with his hands folded and his head down.
"I am so very sorry--for you," she said. "I know how you must feel about it. But if we are obliged to marry some time had we not better get it over and then--never--see--one another----"
"I’m really sorry—for you," she said. "I can imagine how you must feel about this. But if we have to marry eventually, wouldn’t it be better to just get it over with and then—never—see—each other again----"
He lifted his head, then stood upright.
He lifted his head and stood up straight.
Her soft lips were mute, but the question still remained in her eyes.
Her soft lips didn't say anything, but the question was still clear in her eyes.
So, for a long while, they looked at each other; and the color under his cheekbones deepened, and the pink in her cheeks slowly became pinker.
So, for a long time, they stared at each other; and the color under his cheekbones grew richer, and the pink in her cheeks gradually got pinker.
"Suppose," he said, under his breath, "that I--wish--to return--to you?"
"Let’s say," he said quietly, "that I--want--to come back--to you?"
"I do not wish it----"
"I don't want it----"
"Try."
"Give it a go."
"Try to--to wish for----"
"Try to wish for..."
"For my return. Try to wish that you also desire it. Will you?"
"For my return. Try to hope that you want it too. Will you?"
"If you are going to--to talk that way--" she stammered.
"If you’re going to talk like that—" she stammered.
"Yes, I am."
"Yeah, I am."
"Then--then----"
"Then—then—"
"Is there any reason why I should not, if we are engaged?" he asked. "We are--engaged, are we not?"
"Is there any reason I shouldn't, if we're engaged?" he asked. "We are engaged, right?"
"Engaged?"
"Proposed?"
"Yes. Are we?"
"Yeah. Are we?"
"I--yes--if you call it----"
"I—yes—if you call it—"
"I do.... And we are to be--married?" He could scarcely now speak the word which but a few moments since he pronounced so easily; for a totally new significance attached itself to every word he uttered.
"I do.... And we are going to be--married?" He could barely say the word he had just pronounced so easily moments ago; now, every word he spoke held a completely new meaning.
"Are we?" he repeated.
"Are we?" he asked again.
"Yes."
Yes.
"Then--if I--if I find that I----"
"Then--if I--if I find that I----"
"Don't say it," she whispered. She had turned quite white.
"Don't say it," she whispered. She had gone pale.
"Will you listen----"
"Will you listen?"
"No. It--it isn't true--it cannot be."
"No. It isn't true. It can't be."
"It is coming truer every moment.... It is very, very true--even now.... It is almost true.... And now it has come true. Sybilla!"
"It’s becoming more real every moment.... It’s so, so true--even now.... It’s nearly true.... And now it’s come true. Sybilla!"
White, dismayed, she gazed at him, her hands instinctively closing her ears. But she dropped them as he stepped forward.
White, feeling disheartened, she looked at him, her hands automatically covering her ears. But she let them drop as he moved closer.
"I love you, Sybilla. I wish to marry you.... Will you try to care for me--a little----"
"I love you, Sybilla. I want to marry you... Will you try to care for me—just a little…"
"I couldn't--I can't even try----"
"I can't even try----"
"Dear----"
"Hey there,"
He had her hands now; she twisted them free; he caught them again. Over their interlocked hands she bowed her head, breathless, cheeks aflame, seeking to cover her eyes.
He had her hands now; she twisted them free; he grabbed them again. Over their locked hands, she bowed her head, breathless, cheeks burning, trying to hide her eyes.
"Will you love me, Sybilla?"
"Will you love me, Sybilla?"
She struggled silently, desperately.
She struggled silently and desperately.
"Will you?" "No.... Let me go----"
"Will you?" "No.... Let me go----"
"Don't cry--please, dear--" His head, bowed beside hers over their clasped hands, was more than she could endure; but her upflung face, seeking escape, encountered his. There was a deep, indrawn breath, a sob, and she lay, crying her heart out, in his arms.
"Don't cry—please, sweetheart—" His head, bent down beside hers over their locked hands, was more than she could handle; but her upturned face, searching for a way out, met his. There was a deep, shaky breath, a sob, and she lay, letting it all out, in his arms.
"Darling!"
"Babe!"
"W-what?"
"What?"
It is curious how quickly one recognizes unfamiliar forms of address.
It’s interesting how fast you pick up on unfamiliar ways of addressing others.
"You won't cry any more, will you?" he whispered.
"You won't cry anymore, will you?" he whispered.
"N-n-o," sighed Sybilla.
"N-no," sighed Sybilla.
"Because we do love each other, don't we?"
"Because we do love each other, right?"
"Y-yes, George." Then, radiant, yet sweetly shamed, confident, yet fearful, she lifted her adorable head from his shoulder.
"Y-yes, George." Then, glowing but slightly embarrassed, confident yet anxious, she lifted her cute head off his shoulder.
"George," she said, "I am beginning to think that I'd like to get off this table."
"George," she said, "I’m starting to think that I’d like to get off this table."
"You poor darling!"
"You poor thing!"
"And," she continued, "if you will go home and change your overalls for something more conventional, you shall come and dine with us this evening, and I will be waiting for you in the drawing-room.... And, George, although some of your troubles are now over----"
"And," she continued, "if you go home and change out of those overalls into something more suitable, you can come and have dinner with us this evening, and I’ll be waiting for you in the living room... And, George, even though some of your troubles are now behind you----"
"All of them, dearest!" he cried with enthusiasm.
"All of them, my dear!" he exclaimed with excitement.
"No," she said tenderly, "you are yet to meet Pa-pah."
"No," she said gently, "you still need to meet Pa-pah."
XIV
GENTLEMEN OF THE PRESS
A Chapter Concerning Drusilla, Pa-pah and a Minion
A Chapter About Drusilla, Dad, and a Helper
Capital had now been furnished for The Green Mouse, Limited; a great central station of white marble was being built, facing Madison Avenue and occupying the entire block front between Eighty-second and Eighty-third streets.
Capital had now been raised for The Green Mouse, Limited; a large central station of white marble was under construction, facing Madison Avenue and taking up the entire block front between Eighty-second and Eighty-third streets.
The building promised to be magnificent; the plans provided for a thousand private operating rooms, each beautifully furnished in Louis XVI style, a restaurant, a tea room, a marriage licence bureau, and an emergency chapel where first aid clergymen were to be always in attendance.
The building was set to be impressive; the plans included a thousand private operating rooms, each elegantly decorated in Louis XVI style, a restaurant, a tea room, a marriage license office, and an emergency chapel where clergy for first aid would always be available.
In each of the thousand Louis XVI operating rooms a Destyn-Carr wireless instrument was to stand upon a rococo table. A maid to every two rooms, a physician to every ten, and smelling salts to each room, were provided for in this gigantic enterprise.
In each of the thousand Louis XVI operating rooms, a Destyn-Carr wireless instrument was placed on a stylish rococo table. There was one maid for every two rooms, one physician for every ten, and each room was supplied with smelling salts, all part of this massive operation.
Millions of circulars were being prepared to send broadcast over the United States. They read as follows:
Millions of circulars were being prepared to send out across the United States. They read as follows:
ARE YOU IN LOVE? IF NOT, WHY NOT?
Wedlock by Wireless. Marriage by Machinery. A Wondrous Wooer Without Words! No more doubt; no more hesitation; no more uncertainty. The Destyn-Carr Wireless Apparatus does it all for you. Happy Marriage Guaranteed or money eagerly refunded!
Psychical Science says that for every man and woman on earth there is a predestined mate!
That mate can be discovered for you by The Green Mouse, Limited.
Why waste time with costly courtship? Why frivol? Why fuss?
There is only ONE mate created for YOU. You pay us; We find that ONE, thereby preventing mistakes, lawsuits, elopements, regrets, grouches, alimony.
Divorce Absolutely Eliminated
By Our Infallible Wireless Method
Success Certain
It is now known the world over that Professor William Augustus Destyn has discovered that the earth we live on is enveloped in Psychical Currents. By the Destyn-Carr instrument these currents may be tapped, controlled and used to communicate between two people of opposite sex whose subconscious and psychic personalities are predestined to affinity and amorous accord. In other words, when psychic waves from any individual are collected or telegraphed along these wireless psychical currents, only that one affinity attuned to receive them can properly respond.
We catch your psychic waves for you. We send them out into the world.
WATCH THAT SPARK!
When you see a tiny bluish-white spark tip the tentacle of the Destyn-Carr transmitter,
THE WORLD IS YOURS!
for $25.
Our method is quick, painless, merciful and certain. Fee, twenty-five dollars in advance. Certified checks accepted.
THE GREEN MOUSE, Limited.
President PROF. WM. AUGUSTUS DESTYN. Vice-Presidents THE HON. KILLIAN VAN K. VANDERDYNK. THE HON. GEORGE GRAY, 3D. Treasurer THE HON. BUSHWYCK CARR.
ARE YOU IN LOVE? IF NOT, WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK?
Marriage by Wireless. A Machine for Matchmaking. A Fantastic Matchmaker Without Words! No more doubt; no more hesitation; no more uncertainty. The Destyn-Carr Wireless Device does everything for you. Happy Marriage Guaranteed or your money back!
Psychical Science says that everyone on earth has a destined partner!
The Green Mouse, Limited can help you find that partner.
Why waste time on expensive dating? Why play games? Why stress out?
There’s only ONE partner meant for YOU. You pay us; we find that ONE, helping you avoid mistakes, lawsuits, elopements, regrets, grumpiness, and alimony.
Divorce Completely Prevented
With Our Infallible Wireless Method
Success Guaranteed
It’s now widely acknowledged that Professor William Augustus Destyn has found that the Earth is surrounded by psychic currents. With the Destyn-Carr instrument, these currents can be accessed, controlled, and used to communicate between two people of the opposite sex whose subconscious and psychic traits are meant to connect and resonate romantically. In simpler terms, when psychic waves from any person are gathered or transmitted through these wireless psychic currents, only the person whose affinity is tuned in to receive them can truly respond.
We pick up your vibes for you. We share them with the world.
WATCH FOR THAT SPARK!
When you see a small bluish-white spark at the end of the tentacle of the Destyn-Carr transmitter,
THE WORLD IS YOURS!
for $25.
Our method is quick, easy, compassionate, and guaranteed. Cost: twenty-five dollars upfront. Certified checks are accepted.
THE GREEN MOUSE, Limited.
President Prof. Wm. Augustus Destyn Vice-Presidents The Hon. Killian Van K. Vanderdynk The Hon. George Gray, 3rd Treasurer The Hon. Bushwyck Carr
These circulars were composed, illuminated and printed upon vellum by what was known as an "Art" community in West Borealis, N.J. Several tons were expected for delivery early in June.
These circulars were created, decorated, and printed on high-quality paper by what was known as an "Art" community in West Borealis, N.J. Several tons were expected to be delivered early in June.
Meanwhile, the Carr family and its affiliations had invested every cent they possessed in Green Mouse, Limited; and those who controlled the stock were Bushwyck Carr; William Augustus Destyn and Mrs. Destyn, née Ethelinda Carr; Mr. Killian Van K. Vanderdynk and Mrs. Vanderdynk, née Sacharissa Carr; George Gray and Mrs. Gray, very lately Sybilla Carr; and the unmarried triplets, Flavilla and Drusilla Carr.
Meanwhile, the Carr family and their connections had poured every dollar they had into Green Mouse, Limited; and those who owned the shares were Bushwyck Carr; William Augustus Destyn and Mrs. Destyn, formerly Ethelinda Carr; Mr. Killian Van K. Vanderdynk and Mrs. Vanderdynk, formerly Sacharissa Carr; George Gray and Mrs. Gray, most recently Sybilla Carr; and the single triplets, Flavilla and Drusilla Carr.
Remembering with a shudder how Bell Telephone and Standard Oil might once have been bought for a song, Bushwyck Carr determined that in this case his pudgy fingers should not miss the forelock of Time and the divided skirts of Chance.
Remembering with a shiver how Bell Telephone and Standard Oil could have once been bought for a song, Bushwyck Carr decided that this time his chubby fingers shouldn’t let the opportunity slip away.
Squinting at the viewless ether through his monocle he beheld millions in it; so did William Augustus Destyn and the other sons-in-law.
Squinting at the empty sky through his monocle, he saw millions in it; so did William Augustus Destyn and the other sons-in-law.
Only the unmarried triplets, Flavilla and Drusilla, remained amiably indifferent in the midst of all these family financial scurryings and preparations to secure world patents in a monopoly which promised the social regeneration of the globe.
Only the unmarried triplets, Flavilla and Drusilla, stayed casually unconcerned amidst all the family’s financial hustle and preparations to secure global patents for a monopoly that promised to socially transform the world.
The considerable independent fortunes that their mother had left them they invested in Green Mouse, at their father's suggestion; but further than that they took no part in the affair.
The significant amount of money their mother left them was invested in Green Mouse, based on their father's suggestion; but beyond that, they didn't get involved in the business.
For a while the hurry and bustle and secret family conferences mildly interested them. Very soon, however, the talk of psychic waves and millions bored them; and as soon as the villa at Oyster Bay was opened they were glad enough to go.
For a while, the rush, noise, and private family meetings kept them somewhat interested. However, the conversations about psychic waves and millions quickly became boring; and as soon as the villa at Oyster Bay opened, they were more than happy to leave.
Here, at Oyster Bay, there was some chance of escaping their money-mad and wave-intoxicated family; they could entertain and be entertained by both of the younger sets in that dignified summer resort; they could wander about their own vast estate alone; they could play tennis, sail, swim, ride, and drive their tandem.
Here in Oyster Bay, there was a chance to break free from their money-obsessed and party-loving family; they could socialize with and enjoy the company of both younger groups at that stylish summer getaway; they could explore their own large estate by themselves; they could play tennis, go sailing, swim, ride, and take out their tandem bike.
But best of all--for they were rather seriously inclined at the age of eighteen, or, rather, on the verge of nineteen--they adored sketching, in water colors, out of doors.
But best of all—since they were pretty serious at eighteen, or rather, about to turn nineteen—they loved to do outdoor watercolor sketches.
Scrubby forelands set with cedars, shadow-flecked paths under the scrub oak, meadows where water glimmered, white sails off Center Island and Cooper's Bluff--Cooper's Bluff from the north, northeast, east, southeast, south--this they painted with never-tiring, Pecksniffian patience, boxing the compass around it as enthusiastically as that immortal architect circumnavigated Salisbury Cathedral.
Scrubby shores lined with cedars, shadowy paths beneath the scrub oak, meadows where water sparkled, white sails off Center Island and Cooper's Bluff—Cooper's Bluff from the north, northeast, east, southeast, south—this they painted with endless, overly meticulous patience, going around it as eagerly as that famous architect circled Salisbury Cathedral.
And one delicious morning in early June, when the dew sparkled on the poison ivy and the air was vibrant with the soft monotone of mosquitoes and the public road exhaled a delicate aroma of crude oil, Drusilla and Flavilla, laden with sketching-blocks, color-boxes, camp-stools, white umbrellas and bonbons, descended to the great hall, on sketching bent.
And one lovely morning in early June, when the dew sparkled on the poison ivy and the air was filled with the gentle buzz of mosquitoes and the main road had a faint smell of crude oil, Drusilla and Flavilla, loaded with sketch pads, paint boxes, camp stools, white umbrellas, and candies, made their way down to the great hall, eager to sketch.
Mr. Carr also stood there, just outside on the porch, red, explosive, determined legs planted wide apart, defying several courtly reporters, who for a month had patiently and politely appeared every hour to learn whether Mr. Carr had anything to say about the new invention, rumors of which were flying thick about Park Row.
Mr. Carr also stood there, just outside on the porch, red-faced and explosive, with his determined legs planted wide apart, defying several polite reporters who, for a month, had patiently shown up every hour to find out if Mr. Carr had anything to say about the new invention, rumors of which were spreading rapidly around Park Row.
"No, I haven't!" he shouted in his mellow and sonorously musical bellow. "I have told you one hundred times that when I have anything to say I'll send for you. Now, permit me to inform you, for the hundred and first consecutive time, that I have nothing to say--which won't prevent you from coming back in an hour and standing in exactly the same ridiculous position you now occupy, and asking me exactly the same unmannerly questions, and taking the same impertinent snapshots at my house and my person!"
"No, I haven't!" he shouted in his smooth, melodic voice. "I've told you a hundred times that when I have something to say, I'll call for you. Now, let me tell you for the hundred and first time that I have nothing to say—which won’t stop you from coming back in an hour and standing in the exact same ridiculous position you are in now, asking me the same rude questions, and taking the same disrespectful pictures of my house and me!"
He executed a ferocious facial contortion, clapped the monocle into his left eye, and squinted fiercely.
He made a fierce face, slapped the monocle onto his left eye, and squinted hard.
"I'm getting tired of this!" he continued. "When I wake in the morning and look out of my window there are always anywhere from one to twenty reporters decorating my lawn! That young man over there is the worst and most persistent offender!"--scowling at a good-looking youth in white flannels, who immediately blushed distressingly. "Yes, you are, young man! I'm amazed that you have the decency to blush! Your insolent sheet, the Evening Star, refers to my Trust Company as a Green Mouse Trap and a Mouseleum. It also publishes preposterous pictures of myself and family. Dammit, sir, they even produce a photograph of Orlando, the family cat! You did it, I am told. Did you?"
"I'm getting really tired of this!" he went on. "Every morning when I wake up and look out my window, there are always anywhere from one to twenty reporters on my lawn! That young man over there is the worst and most persistent one!"—he glared at a good-looking guy in white pants, who immediately turned red with embarrassment. "Yes, you are, young man! I'm surprised you have the decency to blush! Your rude newspaper, the Evening Star, calls my Trust Company a Green Mouse Trap and a Mouseleum. It also publishes ridiculous pictures of me and my family. Damn it, sir, they even put out a photo of Orlando, the family cat! I hear you did that, didn't you?"
"I am trying to do what I can for my paper, Mr. Carr," said the young man. "The public is interested."
"I’m doing what I can for my paper, Mr. Carr," said the young man. "The public is interested."
Mr. Carr regarded him with peculiar hatred.
Mr. Carr looked at him with strange hatred.
"Come here," he said; "I have got something to say to you."
"Come here," he said; "I have something to tell you."
The young man cautiously left the ranks of his fellows and came up on the porch. Behind Mr. Carr, in the doorway, stood Drusilla and Flavilla. The young man tried not to see them; he pretended not to. But he flushed deeply.
The young man carefully stepped away from his friends and approached the porch. Behind Mr. Carr, in the doorway, stood Drusilla and Flavilla. The young man tried to ignore them; he acted like he didn’t see them. But he blushed deeply.
"I want to know," demanded Mr. Carr, "why the devil you are always around here blushing. You've been around here blushing for a month, and I want to know why you do it."
"I want to know," demanded Mr. Carr, "why the heck you’re always hanging around here blushing. You've been here blushing for a month, and I want to know why you do it."
The youth stood speechless, features afire to the tips of his glowing ears.
The young man stood there in shock, his face flushed and his ears bright red.
"At first," continued Mr. Carr, mercilessly, "I had a vague hope that you might perhaps be blushing for shame at your profession; I heard that you were young at it, and I was inclined to be sorry for you. But I'm not sorry any more!"
"At first," Mr. Carr continued without holding back, "I had a faint hope that you might be embarrassed about your job; I heard you were new at it, and I felt a bit sorry for you. But I don't feel sorry anymore!"
The young man remained crimson and dumb.
The young man stayed red-faced and speechless.
"Confound it," resumed Mr. Carr, "I want to know why the deuce you come and blush all over my lawn. I won't stand it! I'll not allow anybody to come blushing around me----"
"Confound it," Mr. Carr continued, "I want to know why the heck you come and blush all over my lawn. I won't stand for it! I won't let anyone blush around me----"
Indignation choked him; he turned on his heel to enter the house and beheld Flavilla and Drusilla regarding him, wide-eyed.
Indignation overwhelmed him; he spun around to go into the house and saw Flavilla and Drusilla looking at him, wide-eyed.
He went in, waving them away before him.
He walked in, waving them aside.
"I've taught that young pup a lesson," he said with savage satisfaction. "I'll teach him to blush at me! I'll----"
"I've taught that young kid a lesson," he said with a rough satisfaction. "I'll show him not to blush at me! I'll----"
"But why," asked Drusilla, "are you so cruel to Mr. Yates? We like him."
"But why," Drusilla asked, "are you being so mean to Mr. Yates? We like him."
"Mr.--Mr. Yates!" repeated her father, astonished. "Is that his name? And who told you?"
"Mr.--Mr. Yates!" her father exclaimed, surprised. "Is that his name? And who told you?"
"He did," said Drusilla, innocently.
"He did," said Drusilla, genuinely.
"He--that infernal newspaper bantam----"
"He—that annoying little newspaper—"
"Pa-pah! Please don't say that about Mr. Yates. He is really exceedingly kind and civil to us. Every time you go to town on business he comes and sketches with us at----"
"Pa-pah! Please don't say that about Mr. Yates. He's really very kind and polite to us. Every time you go to town on business, he comes and sketches with us at----"
"Oh," said Mr. Carr, with the calm of deadly fury, "so he goes to Cooper's Bluff with you when I'm away, does he?"
"Oh," Mr. Carr said, with a calm that masked his intense anger, "so he goes to Cooper's Bluff with you while I'm gone, huh?"
Flavilla said: "He doesn't exactly go with us; but he usually comes there to sketch. He makes sketches for his newspaper."
Flavilla said: "He doesn't exactly hang out with us; but he usually comes by to sketch. He makes drawings for his newspaper."
"Does he?" asked her father, grinding his teeth.
"Does he?" her father asked, grinding his teeth.
"Yes," said Drusilla; "and he sketches so beautifully. He made such perfectly charming drawings of Flavilla and of me, and he drew pictures of the house and gardens, and of all the servants, and"--she laughed--"I once caught a glimpse in his sketch-book of the funniest caricature of you----"
"Yeah," Drusilla said, "and he sketches so beautifully. He made such perfectly charming drawings of Flavilla and me, and he drew pictures of the house and gardens, and all the staff, and"—she laughed—"I once caught a glimpse of the funniest caricature of you in his sketchbook..."
The expression on her father's face was so misleading in its terrible calm that she laughed again, innocently.
The look on her father's face was so deceptive in its unsettling calm that she laughed again, without a care.
"It was not at all an offensive caricature, you know--really it was not a caricature at all--it was you--just the way you stand and look at people when you are--slightly--annoyed----"
"It wasn't offensive at all, you know—it really wasn't a caricature— it was you—just how you stand and look at people when you're—slightly—annoyed----"
"Oh, he is so clever," chimed in Flavilla, "and is so perfectly well-bred and so delightful to us--to Drusilla particularly. He wrote the prettiest set of verses--To Drusilla in June--just dashed them off while he was watching her sketch Cooper's Bluff from the southwest----"
"Oh, he's so clever," added Flavilla, "and he's so well-mannered and so delightful to us—especially to Drusilla. He wrote the sweetest poem—To Drusilla in June—just quickly put it together while he was watching her sketch Cooper's Bluff from the southwest----"
"He is really quite wonderful," added Drusilla, sincerely, "and so generous and helpful when my drawing becomes weak and wobbly----"
"He's really amazing," Drusilla added sincerely, "and so generous and helpful when my drawing gets weak and shaky----"
"Mr. Yates shows Drusilla how to hold her pencil," said Flavilla, becoming warmly earnest in her appreciation of this self-sacrificing young man. "He often lays aside his own sketching and guides Drusilla's hand while she holds the pencil----"
"Mr. Yates is teaching Drusilla how to hold her pencil," said Flavilla, feeling deeply appreciative of this selfless young man. "He often puts his own sketching on hold and helps guide Drusilla's hand while she holds the pencil----"
"And when I'm tired," said Drusilla, "and the water colors get into a dreadful mess, Mr. Yates will drop his own work and come and talk to me about art--and other things----"
"And when I'm tired," said Drusilla, "and the watercolors get all messed up, Mr. Yates will stop his own work and come talk to me about art—and other stuff—"
"He is so kind!" cried Flavilla in generous enthusiasm.
"He is so kind!" Flavilla exclaimed with genuine excitement.
"And so vitally interesting," said Drusilla.
"And so incredibly interesting," said Drusilla.
"And so talented!" echoed Flavilla.
"And so talented!" echoed Flavilla.
"And so--" Drusilla glanced up, beheld something in the fixed stare of her parent that frightened her, and rose in confusion. "Have I said-- done--anything?" she faltered.
"And so--" Drusilla looked up, saw something in her parent's intense gaze that scared her, and stood up in confusion. "Have I said--done--anything?" she stammered.
With an awful spasm Mr. Carr jerked his congested features into the ghastly semblance of a smile.
With a terrible spasm, Mr. Carr twisted his congested face into a creepy version of a smile.
"Not at all," he managed to say. "This is very interesting--what you tell me about this p-pu--this talented young man. Does he--does he seem-- attracted toward you--unusually attracted?"
"Not at all," he managed to say. "This is really interesting—what you’re telling me about this t-talented young man. Does he—does he seem—especially attracted to you?"
"Yes," said Drusilla, smiling reminiscently.
"Yes," Drusilla said with a smile.
"How do you know?"
"How do you know that?"
"Because he once said so."
"Because he said that once."
"S-said--w-what?"
"Said—what?"
"Why, he said quite frankly that he thought me the most delightful girl he had ever met."
"Well, he honestly said that he thought I was the most charming girl he had ever met."
"What--else?" Mr. Carr's voice was scarcely audible.
"What else?" Mr. Carr's voice was barely audible.
"Nothing," said Drusilla; "except that he said he cared for me very much and wished to know whether I ever could care very much for him.... I told him I thought I could. Flavilla told him so, too.... And we all felt rather happy, I think; at least I did."
"Nothing," said Drusilla; "except that he said he really cared about me and wanted to know if I could ever care for him that much.... I told him I thought I could. Flavilla said the same.... And I think we all felt pretty happy; at least I did."
Her parent emitted a low, melodious sort of sound, a kind of mellifluous howl.
Her parent made a soft, musical sound, a sort of sweet howl.
"Pa-pah!" they exclaimed in gentle consternation.
"Wow!" they said in mild surprise.
He beat at the empty air for a moment like a rotund fowl about to seek its roost. Suddenly he ran distractedly at an armchair and kicked it.
He flailed at the empty air for a moment like a round bird about to find its perch. Then, he suddenly dashed toward an armchair and kicked it.
They watched him in sorrowful amazement.
They watched him in sorrowful wonder.
"If we are going to sketch Cooper's Bluff this morning," observed Drusilla to Flavilla, "I think we had better go--quietly--by way of the kitchen garden. Evidently Pa-pah does not care for Mr. Yates."
"If we’re going to sketch Cooper's Bluff this morning," Drusilla said to Flavilla, "I think we should head out quietly through the kitchen garden. It’s clear that Dad doesn’t like Mr. Yates."
Orlando, the family cat, strolled in, conciliatory tail hoisted. Mr. Carr hurled a cushion at Orlando, then beat madly upon his own head with both hands. Servants respectfully gave him room; some furniture was overturned--a chair or two--as he bounced upward and locked and bolted himself in his room.
Orlando, the family cat, walked in with his tail held high. Mr. Carr threw a cushion at Orlando and then started hitting his own head with both hands in frustration. The servants politely stepped back, and a couple of chairs got knocked over as he jumped up and locked himself in his room.
What transports of fury he lived through there nobody else can know; what terrible visions of vengeance lit up his outraged intellect, what cold intervals of quivering hate, what stealthy schemes of reprisal, what awful retribution for young Mr. Yates were hatched in those dreadful moments, he alone could tell. And as he never did tell, how can I know?
What bursts of anger he went through there, no one else can know; what horrific thoughts of revenge sparked in his furious mind, what chilling moments of intense hatred, what secret plans for retaliation, what terrifying payback for young Mr. Yates were conceived in those horrible moments, only he could say. And since he never did share, how am I supposed to know?
However, in about half an hour his expression of stony malignity changed to a smile so cunningly devilish that, as he caught sight of himself in the mirror, his corrugated countenance really startled him.
However, in about half an hour, his expression of icy malice transformed into a smile so wickedly sly that, upon seeing himself in the mirror, his furrowed face actually surprised him.
"I must smooth out--smooth out!" he muttered. "Smoothness does it!" And he rang for a servant and bade him seek out a certain Mr. Yates among the throng of young men who had been taking snapshots.
"I need to smooth things over—smooth things over!" he muttered. "Smoothness is the key!" Then he rang for a servant and asked him to find a certain Mr. Yates among the crowd of young men who had been taking snapshots.
XV
DRUSILLA
During Which Chapter Mr. Carr Sings and One of His Daughters Takes her Postgraduate
During Which Chapter Mr. Carr Sings and One of His Daughters Takes her Postgraduate
Mr. Yates came presently, ushered by Ferdinand, and looking extremely worried. Mr. Carr received him in his private office with ominous urbanity.
Mr. Yates arrived shortly, led by Ferdinand, and looking very anxious. Mr. Carr welcomed him into his private office with a threatening politeness.
"Mr. Yates," he said, forcing a distorted smile, "I have rather abruptly decided to show you exactly how one of the Destyn-Carr instruments is supposed to work. Would you kindly stand here--close by this table?"
"Mr. Yates," he said, forcing a twisted smile, "I've suddenly decided to show you exactly how one of the Destyn-Carr instruments is meant to work. Could you please stand here—right by this table?"
Mr. Yates, astounded, obeyed.
Mr. Yates, surprised, complied.
"Now," said Mr. Carr, with a deeply creased smile, "here is the famous Destyn-Carr apparatus. That's quite right--take a snapshot at it without my permission----"
"Now," said Mr. Carr, with a heavily wrinkled smile, "here is the famous Destyn-Carr apparatus. That's right—go ahead and take a picture of it without asking me first----"
"I--I thought----"
"I thought—"
"Quite right, my boy; I intend you shall know all about it. You see it resembles the works of a watch.... Now, when I touch this spring the receiver opens and gathers in certain psychic waves which emanate from the subconscious personality of--well, let us say you, for example!... And now I touch this button. You see that slender hairspring of Rosium uncurl and rise, trembling and waving about like a tentacle?"
"Exactly, my boy; I want you to understand everything about it. It’s similar to how a watch works... Now, when I press this spring, the receiver opens and collects specific psychic waves that come from the subconscious mind of—well, let’s say you, for instance!... And now I press this button. Do you see that thin hairspring of Rosium uncurling and rising, trembling and waving around like a tentacle?"
Young Yates, notebook in hand, recovered himself sufficiently to nod. Mr. Carr leered at him:
Young Yates, notebook in hand, gathered himself enough to nod. Mr. Carr smirked at him:
"That tentacle," he explained, "is now seeking some invisible, wireless, psychic current along which it is to transmit the accumulated psychic waves. As soon as the wireless current finds the subconscious personality of the woman you are destined to love and marry some day----"
"That tentacle," he explained, "is now searching for some invisible, wireless, psychic connection to transmit the accumulated psychic waves. As soon as the wireless connection taps into the subconscious of the woman you're meant to love and marry someday----"
"I?" exclaimed young Yates, horrified.
"I?" exclaimed young Yates, shocked.
"Yes, you. Why not? Do you mind my trying it on you?"
"Yeah, you. Why not? Do you care if I give it a shot with you?"
"But I am already in love," protested the young man, turning, as usual, a ready red. "I don't care to have you try it on me. Suppose that machine should connect me with--some other--girl----"
"But I’m already in love," the young man protested, turning, as usual, a deep red. "I don’t want you to try it on me. What if that machine connects me with—some other—girl----"
"It has!" cried Carr with a hideous laugh as a point of bluish-white fire tipped the tentacle for an instant. "You're tied fast to something feminine! Probably a flossy typewriter--or a burlesque actress--somebody you're fitted for, anyway!" He clapped on his monocle, and glared gleefully at the stupefied young man.
"It has!" yelled Carr with a horrible laugh as a spot of bluish-white fire lit up the tentacle for a moment. "You're stuck to something feminine! Probably a fancy typewriter—or a burlesque actress—someone you're meant for, anyway!" He put on his monocle and gleefully stared at the stunned young man.
"That will teach you to enter my premises and hold my daughter's hand when she is drawing innocent pictures of Cooper's Bluff!" he shouted. "That will teach you to write poems to my eighteen-year-old daughter, Drusilla; that will teach you to tell her you are in love with her--you young pup!"
"That'll teach you to come onto my property and hold my daughter's hand while she’s drawing those innocent pictures of Cooper's Bluff!" he yelled. "That'll teach you to write poems to my eighteen-year-old daughter, Drusilla; that'll teach you to say you're in love with her—you young punk!"
"I am in love with her!" said Yates, undaunted; but he was very white when he said it. "I do love her; and if you had behaved halfway decently I'd have told you so two weeks ago!"
"I love her!" said Yates, unfazed; but he looked very pale when he said it. "I really do love her; and if you had treated me even a little decently, I would have told you that two weeks ago!"
Mr. Carr turned a delicate purple, then, recovering, laughed horribly.
Mr. Carr turned a faint purple, then, regaining his composure, laughed uncomfortably.
"Whether or not you were once in love with my daughter is of no consequence now. That machine has nullified your nonsense! That instrument has found you your proper affinity--doubtless below stairs----"
"Whether or not you used to love my daughter doesn't matter anymore. That machine has put an end to your nonsense! That device has revealed your true match—most likely down below—"
"I am still in love with Drusilla," repeated Yates, firmly.
"I am still in love with Drusilla," Yates repeated, confidently.
"I tell you, you're not!" retorted Carr. "Didn't I turn that machine on you? It has never missed yet! The Green Mouse has got you in the Mouseleum!"
"I’m telling you, you’re not!" Carr shot back. "Didn’t I activate that machine on you? It has never failed! The Green Mouse has got you in the Mouseleum!"
"You are mistaken," insisted Yates, still more firmly. "I was in love with your daughter Drusilla before you started the machine; and I love her yet! Now! At the present time! This very instant I am loving her!"
"You’re wrong," Yates insisted even more firmly. "I was in love with your daughter Drusilla before you started the machine, and I still love her! Right now! At this very moment, I am loving her!"
"You can't!" shouted Carr.
"You can't!" Carr shouted.
"Yes, I can. And I do!"
"Yes, I can. And I do!"
"No, you don't! I tell you it's a scientific and psychical impossibility for you to continue to love her! Your subconscious personality is now in eternal and irrevocable accord and communication with the subconscious personality of some chit of a girl who is destined to love and marry you! And she's probably a ballet-girl, at that!"
"No, you don't! I'm telling you, it's scientifically and psychologically impossible for you to keep loving her! Your subconscious self is now in a permanent and unchangeable connection with the subconscious self of some young girl who is meant to love and marry you! And chances are, she's a ballet dancer too!"
"I shall marry Drusilla!" retorted the young man, very pale; "because I am quite confident that she loves me, though very probably she doesn't know it yet."
"I’m going to marry Drusilla!" the young man replied, looking very pale. "Because I’m pretty sure she loves me, even if she doesn’t realize it yet."
"You talk foolishness!" hissed Carr. "This machine has settled the whole matter! Didn't you see that spark?"
"You’re talking nonsense!" hissed Carr. "This machine has sorted everything out! Didn’t you see that spark?"
"I saw a spark--yes!"
"I saw a spark—yes!"
"And do you mean to tell me you are not beginning to feel queer?"
"And are you really saying that you don't start to feel strange?"
"Not in the slightest."
"Not at all."
"Look me squarely in the eye, young man, and tell me whether you do not have a sensation as though your heart were cutting capers?"
"Look me straight in the eye, young man, and tell me if you don’t feel like your heart is doing somersaults?"
"Not in the least," said Yates, calmly. "If that machine worked at all it wouldn't surprise me if you yourself had become entangled in it--caught in your own machine!"
"Not at all," Yates replied, coolly. "If that machine actually worked, I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up getting tangled in it—caught in your own device!"
"W-what!" exclaimed Carr, faintly.
"What!" exclaimed Carr, faintly.
"It wouldn't astonish me in the slightest," repeated Yates, delighted to discover the dawning alarm in the older man's features. "You opened the receiver; you have psychic waves as well as I. I was in love at the time; you were not. What was there to prevent your waves from being hitched to a wireless current and, finally, signaling the subconscious personality of--of some pretty actress, for example?"
"It wouldn’t surprise me at all," Yates repeated, pleased to see the growing concern on the older man’s face. "You opened the receiver; you have psychic waves just like I do. I was in love back then; you weren’t. What was stopping your waves from getting connected to a wireless signal and, eventually, tapping into the subconscious of—oh, say, some beautiful actress, for instance?"
Mr. Carr sank nervously onto a chair; his eyes, already wild, became wilder as he began to realize the risk he had unthinkingly taken.
Mr. Carr sank nervously onto a chair; his eyes, already wild, grew wilder as he started to understand the risk he had thoughtlessly taken.
"Perhaps you feel a little--queer. You look it," suggested the young man, in a voice made anxious by an ever-ready sympathy. "Can I do anything? I am really very sorry to have spoken so."
"Maybe you feel a bit off. You definitely look it," the young man said, his voice filled with concern and empathy. "Is there anything I can do? I genuinely regret saying that."
A damp chill gathered on the brow of Bushwyck Carr. He did feel a trifle queer. A curious lightness--a perfectly inexplicable buoyancy seemed to possess him. He was beginning to feel strangely youthful; the sound of his own heart suddenly became apparent. To his alarm it was beating playfully, skittishly. No--it was not even beating; it was skipping.
A damp chill settled on Bushwyck Carr's forehead. He felt a bit odd. A weird lightness—a totally confusing buoyancy—seemed to take over him. He was starting to feel strangely young; he suddenly became aware of the sound of his own heart. To his surprise, it was beating playfully, almost nervously. No—it wasn’t just beating; it was skipping.
"Y-Yates," he stammered, "you don't think that I could p-possibly have become inadvertently mixed up with that horrible machine--do you?"
"Y-Yates," he stammered, "you don't think that I could have accidentally gotten involved with that awful machine—do you?"
Now Yates was a generous youth; resentment at the treatment meted out to him by this florid, bad-tempered and pompous gentleman changed to instinctive sympathy when he suddenly realized the plight his future father-in-law might now be in.
Now Yates was a generous young man; his feelings of anger towards the treatment he received from this flashy, bad-tempered, and arrogant guy turned into instinctive sympathy when he suddenly recognized the tough situation his future father-in-law might be in.
"Yates," repeated Mr. Carr in an agitated voice, "tell me honestly: do you think there is anything unusual the matter with me? I--I seem to f-feel unusually--young. Do I look it? Have I changed? W-watch me while I walk across the room."
"Yates," Mr. Carr said anxiously, "tell me the truth: do you think there's anything strange going on with me? I--I feel oddly--youthful. Do I look it? Have I changed? W-watch me as I walk across the room."
Mr. Carr arose with a frightened glance at Yates, put on his hat, and fairly pranced across the room. "Great Heavens!" he faltered; "my hat's on one side and my walk is distinctly jaunty! Do you notice it, Yates?"
Mr. Carr got up with a scared look at Yates, put on his hat, and practically danced across the room. "Goodness!" he stammered; "my hat's crooked and I'm walking pretty cheerfully! Do you see that, Yates?"
"I'm afraid I do, Mr. Carr."
"I'm afraid I do, Mr. Carr."
"This--this is infamous!" gasped Mr. Carr. "This is--is outrageous! I'm forty-five! I'm a widower! I detest a jaunty widower! I don't want to be one; I don't want to----"
"This—this is scandalous!" Mr. Carr exclaimed. "This is—this is unacceptable! I'm forty-five! I'm a widower! I can't stand a cheerful widower! I don’t want to be one; I don’t want to—"
Yates gazed at him with deep concern.
Yates looked at him with serious concern.
"Can't you help lifting your legs that way when you walk--as though a band were playing? Wait, I'll straighten your hat. Now try it again."
"Can't you help but lift your legs when you walk--as if a band is playing? Hold on, I'll fix your hat. Now give it another shot."
Mr. Carr pranced back across the room.
Mr. Carr strutted back across the room.
"I know I'm doing it again," he groaned, "but I can't help it! I--I feel so gay--dammit!--so frivolous--it's--it's that infernal machine. W-what am I to do, Yates," he added piteously, "when the world looks so good to me?"
"I know I'm doing it again," he groaned, "but I can't help it! I—I feel so happy—damn it!—so carefree—it's—it's that annoying machine. W-what am I supposed to do, Yates," he added sadly, "when the world looks so great to me?"
"Think of your family!" urged Yates. "Think of--of Drusilla."
"Think about your family!" Yates urged. "Think about--about Drusilla."
"Do you know," observed Carr, twirling his eyeglass and twisting his mustache, "that I'm beginning not to care what my family think!... Isn't it amazing, Yates? I--I seem to be somebody else, several years younger. Somewhere," he added, with a flourish of his monocle--"somewhere on earth there is a little birdie waiting for me."
"Did you know," Carr said, twirling his eyeglass and twisting his mustache, "that I'm starting not to care what my family thinks!... Isn't it crazy, Yates? I--I feel like I'm someone else, a few years younger. Somewhere," he added, with a flourish of his monocle--"somewhere out there, there's a little birdie waiting for me."
"Don't talk that way!" exclaimed Yates, horrified.
"Don't talk like that!" exclaimed Yates, horrified.
"Yes, I will, young man. I repeat, with optimism and emphasis, that somewhere there is a birdie----"
"Yes, I will, young man. I say again, with hope and emphasis, that somewhere there is a little bird----"
"Mr. Carr!"
"Mr. Carr!"
"Yes, merry old Top!"
"Yes, cheerful old Top!"
"May I use your telephone?"
"Can I use your phone?"
"I don't care what you do!" said Carr, gayly. "Use my telephone if you like; pull it out by the roots and throw it over Cooper's Bluff, for all I care! But"--and a sudden glimmer of reason seemed to come over him--"if you have one grain of human decency left in you, you won't drag me and my terrible plight into that scurrilous New York paper of yours."
"I don't care what you do!" Carr said cheerfully. "Use my phone if you want; rip it out and toss it over Cooper's Bluff, for all I care! But"—and a sudden flash of clarity seemed to hit him—"if you have any shred of human decency left, you won't drag me and my terrible situation into that trashy New York paper of yours."
"No," said Yates, "I won't. And that ends my career on Park Row. I'm going to telephone my resignation."
"Not a chance," Yates said. "I'm done. This wraps up my time on Park Row. I’m calling in my resignation."
Mr. Carr gazed calmly around and twisted his mustache with a satisfied and retrospective smile.
Mr. Carr looked around calmly and twisted his mustache with a pleased, thoughtful smile.
"That's very decent of you, Yates; you must pardon me; I was naturally half scared to death at first; but I realize you are acting very handsomely in this horrible dilemma----"
"That’s really generous of you, Yates; please forgive me; I was honestly pretty terrified at first; but I see you’re handling this awful situation very well----"
"Naturally," interrupted Yates. "I must stand by the family into which I am, as you know, destined to marry."
"Of course," interrupted Yates. "I have to support the family I'm destined to marry into, as you know."
"To be sure," nodded Carr, absently; "it really looks that way, doesn't it! And, Yates, you have no idea how I hated you an hour ago."
"Sure," Carr nodded absentmindedly. "It really seems like that, doesn't it? And, Yates, you have no idea how much I hated you an hour ago."
"Yes, I have," said Yates.
"Yes, I have," Yates said.
"No, you really have not, if you will permit me to contradict you, merry old Top. I--but never mind now. You have behaved in an unusually considerate manner. Who the devil are you, anyway?"
"No, you really haven't, if you don't mind me disagreeing with you, cheerful old Top. I--but let's skip that for now. You've been surprisingly thoughtful. Who the heck are you, anyway?"
Yates informed him modestly.
Yates told him modestly.
"Well, why didn't you say so, instead of letting me bully you! I've known your father for twenty years. Why didn't you tell me you wanted to marry Drusilla, instead of coming and blushing all over the premises? I'd have told you she was too young; and she is! I'd have told you to wait; and you'd have waited. You'd have been civil enough to wait when I explained to you that I've already lost, by marriage, two daughters through that accursed machine. You wouldn't entirely denude me of daughters, would you?"
"Well, why didn’t you just say that instead of letting me push you around! I’ve known your dad for twenty years. Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to marry Drusilla instead of coming in here all shy? I would have told you she’s too young, and she is! I would have told you to wait, and you would have waited. You would have been polite enough to wait once I explained that I’ve already lost two daughters through that awful machine. You wouldn’t want to take away all my daughters, would you?"
"I only want one," said John Yates, simply.
"I just want one," said John Yates, simply.
"Well, all right; I'm a decent father-in-law when I've got to be. I'm really a good sport. You may ask all my sons-in-law; they'll admit it." He scrutinized the young man and found him decidedly agreeable to look at, and at the same time a vague realization of his own predicament returned for a moment.
"Okay, fine; I’m a pretty good father-in-law when I need to be. I’m really a great guy. You can ask all my sons-in-law; they’ll agree." He studied the young man and found him quite pleasant to look at, and at the same time, a vague awareness of his own situation crept back in for a moment.
"Yates," he said unsteadily, "all I ask of you is to keep this terrible n-news from my innocent d-daughters until I can f-find out what sort of a person is f-fated to lead me to the altar!"
"Yates," he said hesitantly, "all I ask is for you to keep this terrible news from my innocent daughters until I can find out what kind of person is destined to lead me to the altar!"
Yates took the offered hand with genuine emotion.
Yates took the offered hand with real feeling.
"Surely," he said, "your unknown intended must be some charming leader in the social activities of the great metropolis."
"Surely," he said, "your unknown fiancé must be some charming leader in the social scene of the big city."
"Who knows! She may be m-my own l-laundress for all I know. She may be anything, Yates! She--she might even be b-black!"
"Who knows! She could be my own laundress for all I know. She could be anything, Yates! She—she might even be Black!"
"Black!"
"Black!"
Mr. Carr nodded, shuddered, dashed the unmanly moisture from his eyeglass.
Mr. Carr nodded, shuddered, and wiped the embarrassing moisture from his eyeglass.
"I think I'd better go to town and tell my son-in-law, William Destyn, exactly what has happened to me," he said. "And I think I'll go through the kitchen garden and take my power boat so that those devilish reporters can't follow me. Ferdinand!" to the man at the door, "ring up the garage and order the blue motor, and tell those newspaper men I'm going to town. That, I think, will glue them to the lawn for a while."
"I think I should head to town and tell my son-in-law, William Destyn, exactly what happened to me," he said. "And I think I'll go through the garden and take my powerboat so those pesky reporters can't follow me. Ferdinand!" he called to the man at the door, "call the garage and order the blue motor, and let those journalists know I'm going to town. That should keep them stuck on the lawn for a bit."
"About--Drusilla, sir?" ventured Yates; but Mr. Carr was already gone, speeding noiselessly out the back way, through the kitchen garden, and across the great tree-shaded lawn which led down to the boat landing.
"About--Drusilla, sir?" asked Yates cautiously; but Mr. Carr was already gone, quickly moving out the back way, through the kitchen garden, and across the large, tree-shaded lawn that led down to the boat landing.
Across the distant hedge, from the beautiful grounds of his next-door neighbor, floated sounds of mirth and music. Gay flags fluttered among the trees. The Magnelius Grandcourts were evidently preparing for the brilliant charity bazaar to be held there that afternoon and evening.
Across the distant hedge, from the beautiful yard of his next-door neighbor, sounds of laughter and music drifted over. Colorful flags fluttered among the trees. The Magnelius Grandcourts were clearly getting ready for the exciting charity bazaar happening there that afternoon and evening.
"To think," muttered Carr, "that only an hour ago I was agreeably and comfortably prepared to pass the entire afternoon there with my daughters, amid innocent revelry. And now I'm in flight--pursued by furies of my own invoking--threatened with love in its most hideous form-- matrimony! Any woman I now look upon may be my intended bride for all I know," he continued, turning into the semiprivate driveway, bordered heavily by lilacs; "and the curious thing about it is that I really don't care; in fact, the excitement is mildly pleasing."
"Can you believe," Carr murmured, "that just an hour ago I was happily and comfortably set to spend the whole afternoon here with my daughters, enjoying some innocent fun? And now I'm on the run—chased by the monsters I created myself—faced with love in its ugliest form—marriage! Any woman I see could be my future bride for all I know," he went on, turning into the semi-private driveway lined heavily with lilacs; "and the strange part is that I actually don’t mind; in fact, the thrill is kind of enjoyable."
He halted; in the driveway, blocking it, stood a red motor car--a little runabout affair; and at the steering-wheel sat a woman--a lady's maid by her cap and narrow apron, and an exceedingly pretty one, at that.
He stopped; in the driveway, blocking it, was a red car—a small convertible; and at the steering wheel sat a woman—a lady's maid, if her cap and slim apron were anything to go by, and she was extremely pretty, to say the least.
When she saw Mr. Carr she looked up, showing an edge of white teeth in the most unembarrassed of smiles. She certainly was an unusually agreeable-looking girl.
When she saw Mr. Carr, she looked up, flashing a hint of white teeth in the most carefree smile. She definitely was an unusually pleasant-looking girl.
"Has something gone wrong with your motor?" inquired Mr. Carr, pleasantly.
"Is there something wrong with your car?" Mr. Carr asked kindly.
"I am afraid so." She didn't say "sir"; probably because she was too pretty to bother about such incidentals. And she looked at Carr and smiled, as though he were particularly ornamental.
"I think so." She didn't say "sir"; probably because she was too attractive to care about such formalities. And she looked at Carr and smiled, as if he were especially good-looking.
"Let me see," began Mr. Carr, laying his hand on the steering-wheel; "perhaps I can make it go."
"Let me see," Mr. Carr said, placing his hand on the steering wheel. "Maybe I can make it work."
"It won't go," she said, a trifle despondently and shaking her charming head. "I've been here nearly half an hour waiting for it to do something; but it won't."
"It won't work," she said, a bit sadly, shaking her lovely head. "I've been here almost half an hour waiting for it to do something; but it won't."
Mr. Carr peered wisely into the acetylenes, looked carefully under the hood, examined the upholstery. He didn't know anything about motors.
Mr. Carr looked thoughtfully at the acetylene lights, checked under the hood, and inspected the upholstery. He didn't know anything about engines.
"I'm afraid," he said sadly, "that there's something wrong with the magne-e-to!"
"I'm afraid," he said sadly, "that there's something wrong with the magneto!"
"Do you think it is as bad as that?"
"Do you really think it's that bad?"
"I fear so," he said gravely. "If I were you I'd get out--and keep well away from that machine."
"I’m afraid so," he said seriously. "If I were you, I’d get out—and stay far away from that machine."
"Why?" she asked nervously, stepping to the grass beside him.
"Why?" she asked anxiously, stepping onto the grass next to him.
"It might blow up."
"It might explode."
They backed away rather hastily, side by side. After a while they backed farther away, hand in hand.
They stepped back quite quickly, side by side. After a while, they moved away even further, hand in hand.
"I--I hate to leave it there all alone," said the maid, when they had backed completely out of sight of the car. "If there was only some safe place where I could watch and see if it is going to explode."
"I—I hate leaving it there all alone," said the maid, once they had completely backed out of sight of the car. "If only there was a safe place where I could keep an eye on it and see if it’s going to explode."
They ventured back a little way and peeped at the motor.
They walked back a bit and looked at the engine.
"You could take a rowboat and watch it from the water," said Mr. Carr.
"You could take a rowboat and see it from the water," Mr. Carr said.
"But I don't know how to row."
"But I don't know how to paddle."
Mr. Carr looked at her. Certainly she was the most prepossessing specimen of wholesome, rose-cheeked and ivory-skinned womanhood that he had ever beheld; a trifle nearer thirty-five than twenty-five, he thought, but so sweet and fresh and with such charming eyes and manners.
Mr. Carr looked at her. She was definitely the most attractive example of healthy, rosy-cheeked, and fair-skinned womanhood that he had ever seen; a bit closer to thirty-five than twenty-five, he thought, but so sweet and fresh with such charming eyes and manners.
"I have," said Mr. Carr, "several hours at my disposal before I go to town on important business. If you like I will row you out in one of my boats, and then, from a safe distance, we can sit and watch your motor blow up. Shall we?"
"I have," Mr. Carr said, "a few hours free before I head to town for some important business. If you'd like, I can take you out in one of my boats, and then, from a safe distance, we can sit and watch your motor blow up. Sound good?"
"It is most kind of you----"
"That's really thoughtful of you----"
"Not at all. It would be most kind of you."
"Not at all. That would be very kind of you."
She looked sideways at the motor, sideways at the water, sideways at Mr. Carr.
She glanced at the engine, then at the water, and then at Mr. Carr.
It was a very lovely morning in early June.
It was a beautiful morning in early June.
As Mr. Carr handed her into the rowboat with ceremony she swept him a courtesy. Her apron and manners were charmingly incongruous.
As Mr. Carr helped her into the rowboat with great care, she gave him a polite nod. Her apron and her behavior were delightfully mismatched.
When she was gracefully seated in the stern Mr. Carr turned for a moment, stared all Oyster Bay calmly in the face through his monocle, then, untying the painter, fairly skipped into the boat with a step distinctly frolicsome.
When she was comfortably seated in the back, Mr. Carr turned for a moment, looked all of Oyster Bay calmly in the eye through his monocle, then, untying the rope, practically leaped into the boat with a noticeably playful step.
"It's curious how I feel about this," he observed, digging both oars into the water.
"It's interesting how I feel about this," he noted, plunging both oars into the water.
"How do you feel, Mr. Carr?"
"How do you feel, Mr. Carr?"
"Like a bird," he said softly.
"Like a bird," he said quietly.
And the boat moved off gently through the sparkling waters of Oyster Bay.
And the boat glided smoothly through the sparkling waters of Oyster Bay.
At that same moment, also, the sparkling waters of Oyster Bay were gently caressing the classic contours of Cooper's Bluff, and upon that monumental headland, seated under sketching umbrellas, Flavilla and Drusilla worked, in a puddle of water colors; and John Chillingham Yates, in becoming white flannels and lilac tie and hosiery, lay on the sod and looked at Drusilla.
At that same moment, the sparkling waters of Oyster Bay were softly brushing against the classic shape of Cooper's Bluff. On that impressive headland, Flavilla and Drusilla sat under sketching umbrellas, working with a splash of watercolors. Meanwhile, John Chillingham Yates, in stylish white pants and a lavender tie and socks, lay on the grass, gazing at Drusilla.
Silence, delicately accented by the faint harmony of mosquitoes, brooded over Cooper's Bluff.
Silence, softly highlighted by the distant hum of mosquitoes, settled over Cooper's Bluff.
"There's no use," said Drusilla at last; "one can draw a landscape from every point of view except looking down hill. Mr. Yates, how on earth am I to sit here and make a drawing looking down hill?"
"There's no point," Drusilla finally said; "you can draw a landscape from every angle except looking down hill. Mr. Yates, how am I supposed to sit here and make a drawing looking down hill?"
"Perhaps," he said, "I had better hold your pencil again. Shall I?"
"Maybe," he said, "I should hold your pencil again. Should I?"
"Do you think that would help?"
"Do you think that would be helpful?"
"I think it helps--somehow."
"I think it helps somehow."
Her pretty, narrow hand held the pencil; his sun-browned hand closed over it. She looked at the pad on her knees.
Her delicate, slender hand gripped the pencil; his sun-tanned hand wrapped around it. She glanced at the pad on her lap.
After a while she said: "I think, perhaps, we had better draw. Don't you?"
After a bit, she said, "I think we should probably draw. What do you think?"
They made a few hen-tracks. Noticing his shoulder was just touching hers, and feeling a trifle weary on her camp-stool, she leaned back a little.
They made a few hen tracks. Noticing that his shoulder was just brushing against hers and feeling a bit tired on her camp stool, she leaned back a little.
"It is very pleasant to have you here," she said dreamily.
"It’s so nice to have you here," she said dreamily.
"It is very heavenly to be here," he said.
"It feels amazing to be here," he said.
"How generous you are to give us so much of your time!" murmured Drusilla.
"How generous you are to give us so much of your time!" Drusilla murmured.
"I think so, too," said Flavilla, washing a badger brush. "And I am becoming almost as fond of you as Drusilla is."
"I think so, too," said Flavilla, cleaning a badger brush. "And I'm getting almost as fond of you as Drusilla is."
"Don't you like him as well as I do?" asked Drusilla.
"Don't you like him as much as I do?" asked Drusilla.
Flavilla turned on her camp-stool and inspected them both.
Flavilla turned her camp stool around and took a good look at both of them.
"Not quite as well," she said frankly. "You know, Drusilla, you are very nearly in love with him." And she resumed her sketching.
"Not really," she said honestly. "You know, Drusilla, you’re almost in love with him." And she went back to her sketching.
Drusilla gazed at the purple horizon unembarrassed. "Am I?" she said absently.
Drusilla looked at the purple horizon without any shame. "Am I?" she said, lost in thought.
"Are you?" he repeated, close to her shoulder.
"Are you?" he repeated, close to her shoulder.
She turned and looked into his sun-tanned face curiously.
She turned and looked at his sun-tanned face with curiosity.
"What is it--to love? Is it"--she looked at him undisturbed--"is it to be quite happy and lazy with a man like you?"
"What does it mean to love? Is it”—she gazed at him calmly—“is it to be completely happy and relaxed with a guy like you?"
He was silent.
He was quiet.
"I thought," she continued, "that there would be some hesitation, some shyness about it--some embarrassment. But there, has been none between you and me."
"I thought," she continued, "that there would be some hesitation, some shyness about it—some embarrassment. But there hasn't been any between you and me."
He said nothing.
He didn’t say anything.
She went on absently:
She continued absentmindedly:
"You said, the other day, very simply, that you cared a great deal for me; and I was not very much surprised. And I said that I cared very much for you.... And, by the way, I meant to ask you yesterday; are we engaged?"
"You said the other day, pretty simply, that you cared a lot about me; and I wasn't really surprised. I said that I cared a lot about you too... Oh, and by the way, I meant to ask you yesterday; are we engaged?"
"Are we?" he asked.
"Are we?" he inquired.
"Yes--if you wish.... Is that all there is to an engagement?"
"Sure—if that's what you want.... Is that all there is to being engaged?"
"There's a ring," observed Flavilla, dabbing on too much ultramarine and using a sponge. "You've got to get her one, Mr. Yates."
"There's a ring," Flavilla said, applying too much ultramarine with a sponge. "You need to get her one, Mr. Yates."
Drusilla looked at the man beside her and smiled.
Drusilla turned to the man next to her and smiled.
"How simple it is, after all!" she said. "I have read in the books Pa-pah permits us to read such odd things about love and lovers.... Are we lovers, Mr. Yates? But, of course, we must be, I fancy."
"How simple it is, after all!" she said. "I've read in the books that Dad lets us read these strange things about love and lovers... Are we lovers, Mr. Yates? But of course, I think we must be."
"Yes," he said.
"Yeah," he said.
"Some time or other, when it is convenient," observed Flavilla, "you ought to kiss each other occasionally."
"At some point when it works for you," Flavilla said, "you should kiss each other from time to time."
"That doesn't come until I'm a bride, does it?" asked Drusilla.
"Doesn’t that happen only when I’m a bride?" Drusilla asked.
"I believe it's a matter of taste," said Flavilla, rising and naively stretching her long, pretty limbs.
"I think it's all about personal preference," Flavilla said, standing up and innocently stretching her long, beautiful arms and legs.
She stood a moment on the edge of the bluff, looking down.
She paused for a moment at the edge of the cliff, looking down.
"How curious!" she said after a moment. "There is Pa-pah on the water rowing somebody's maid about."
"How interesting!" she said after a moment. "There's Dad on the water rowing someone's maid around."
"What!" exclaimed Yates, springing to his feet.
"What!" Yates exclaimed, jumping to his feet.
"How extraordinary," said Drusilla, following him to the edge of the bluff; "and they're singing, too, as they row!"
"How incredible," Drusilla said, trailing behind him to the edge of the cliff; "and they're singing, too, while they row!"
From far below, wafted across the sparkling waters of Oyster Bay, Mr. Carr's rich and mellifluous voice was wafted shoreward:
From far below, Mr. Carr's rich and smooth voice floated across the sparkling waters of Oyster Bay, drifting toward the shore:
"I der-reamt that I dwelt in ma-arble h-a-l-ls."
"I dreamed that I lived in marble halls."
The sunlight fell on the maid's coquettish cap and apron, and sparkled upon the buckle of one dainty shoe. It also glittered across the monocle of Mr. Carr.
The sunlight shone on the maid's flirty cap and apron, and it sparkled on the buckle of her cute shoe. It also glinted on Mr. Carr's monocle.
"Pa-pah!" cried Flavilla.
"Pa-pah!" yelled Flavilla.
Far away her parent waved a careless greeting to his offspring, then resumed his oars and his song.
Far away, her parent casually waved hello to his child, then went back to rowing and singing.
"How extraordinary!" said Flavilla. "Why do you suppose that Pa-pah is rowing somebody's maid around the bay, and singing that way to her?"
"How amazing!" said Flavilla. "Why do you think that Pa-pah is rowing someone's maid around the bay and singing to her like that?"
"Perhaps it's one of our maids," said Drusilla; "but that would be rather odd, too, wouldn't it, Mr. Yates?"
"Maybe it's one of our maids," Drusilla said. "But that would be kind of strange too, wouldn't it, Mr. Yates?"
"A--little," he admitted. And his heart sank.
"A—kind of," he admitted. And his heart sank.
Flavilla had started down the sandy face of the bluff.
Flavilla had begun her descent down the sandy slope of the bluff.
"I'm going to see whose maid it is," she called back.
"I'm going to find out whose maid it is," she called back.
Drusilla seated herself in the sun-dried grass and watched her sister.
Drusilla sat down in the dry grass and watched her sister.
Yates stood beside her in bitter dejection.
Yates stood next to her in deep sadness.
So this was the result! His unfortunate future father-in-law was done for. What a diabolical machine! What a terrible, swift, relentless answer had been returned when, out of space, this misguided gentleman had, by mistake, summoned his own affinity! And what an affinity! A saucy soubrette who might easily have just stepped from the coulisse of a Parisian theater!
So this was the outcome! His unlucky future father-in-law was doomed. What a wicked machine! What a terrible, swift, and relentless response had been returned when, out of the blue, this confused guy had accidentally summoned his own match! And what a match! A cheeky performer who could have easily just walked off the stage of a Parisian theater!
Yates looked at Drusilla. What an awful blow was impending! She never could have suspected it, but there, in that boat, sat her future stepmother in cap and apron!--his own future stepmother-in-law!
Yates looked at Drusilla. What a terrible shock was about to happen! She could have never imagined it, but there, in that boat, sat her future stepmother in a cap and apron! —his own future mother-in-law!
And in the misery of that moment's realization John Chillingham Yates showed the material of which he was constructed.
And in the pain of that moment's realization, John Chillingham Yates revealed what he was really made of.
"Dear," he said gently.
"Hey," he said gently.
"Do you mean me?" asked Drusilla, looking up in frank surprise.
"Are you talking about me?" asked Drusilla, looking up in genuine surprise.
And at the same time she saw on his face a look which she had never before encountered there. It was the shadow of trouble; and it drew her to her feet instinctively.
And at the same time, she saw a look on his face that she had never seen before. It was a hint of trouble, and it made her get up instinctively.
"What is it, Jack?" she asked.
"What's up, Jack?" she asked.
She had never before called him anything but Mr. Yates.
She had never called him anything other than Mr. Yates.
"What is it?" she repeated, turning away beside him along the leafy path; and with every word another year seemed, somehow, to be added to her youth. "Has anything happened, Jack? Are you unhappy--or ill?"
"What is it?" she asked again, looking away from him as they walked along the leafy path; and with every word, it felt like another year was somehow being added to her youth. "Is something wrong, Jack? Are you unhappy or feeling sick?"
He did not speak; she walked beside him, regarding him with wistful eyes.
He didn't say a word; she walked next to him, looking at him with longing eyes.
So there was more of love than happiness, after all; she began to half understand it in a vague way as she watched his somber face. There certainly was more of love than a mere lazy happiness; there was solicitude and warm concern, and desire to comfort, to protect.
So, in the end, there was more love than just happiness; she started to kind of get it in a vague way as she looked at his serious face. There was definitely more love than just a relaxed kind of happiness; there was care and genuine concern, along with a desire to comfort and protect.
"Jack," she said tremulously.
"Jack," she said nervously.
He turned and took her unresisting hands. A quick thrill shot through her. Yes, there was more to love than she had expected.
He turned and took her willing hands. A quick thrill surged through her. Yes, there was more to love than she had anticipated.
"Are you unhappy?" she asked. "Tell me. I can't bear to see you this way. I--I never did--before."
"Are you unhappy?" she asked. "Just tell me. I can't stand seeing you like this. I--I never felt this way before."
"Will you love me; Drusilla?"
"Will you love me, Drusilla?"
"Yes--yes, I will, Jack."
"Yes, I will, Jack."
"Dearly?"
"Dearest?"
"I do--dearly." The first blush that ever tinted her cheek spread and deepened.
"I really do—so much." The first blush that ever touched her cheek spread and deepened.
"Will you marry me, Drusilla?"
"Will you marry me, Drusilla?"
"Yes.... You frighten me."
"Yes... You scare me."
She trembled, suddenly, in his arms. Surely there were more things to love than she had dreamed of in her philosophy. She looked up as he bent nearer, understanding that she was to be kissed, awaiting the event which suddenly loomed up freighted with terrific significance.
She shook a bit in his arms. There had to be more to love than she had imagined in her thinking. She looked up as he leaned closer, realizing that he was going to kiss her, anticipating the moment that suddenly felt incredibly important.
There was a silence, a sob.
There was silence, then a sob.
"Jack--darling--I--I love you so!"
"Jack, darling, I love you!"
Flavilla was sketching on her camp-stool when they returned.
Flavilla was drawing on her camp stool when they got back.
"I'm horridly hungry," she said. "It's luncheon time, isn't it? And, by the way, it's all right about that maid. She was on her way to serve in the tea pavilion at Mrs. Magnelius Grandcourt's bazaar, and her runabout broke down and nearly blew up."
"I'm really hungry," she said. "Isn't it lunchtime? And just so you know, it's fine about that maid. She was headed to serve in the tea pavilion at Mrs. Magnelius Grandcourt's bazaar, and her car broke down and almost exploded."
"What on earth are you talking about?" exclaimed Drusilla.
"What are you even talking about?" exclaimed Drusilla.
"I'm talking about Mrs. Magnelius Grandcourt's younger sister from Philadelphia, who looks perfectly sweet as a lady's maid. Tea," she added, "is to be a dollar a cup, and three if you take sugar. And," she continued, "if you and I are to sell flowers there this afternoon we'd better go home and dress.... What are you smiling at, Mr. Yates?"
"I'm talking about Mrs. Magnelius Grandcourt's younger sister from Philadelphia, who looks perfectly sweet as a lady's maid. Tea," she added, "is going to be a dollar a cup, and three bucks if you want sugar. And," she continued, "if we're going to sell flowers there this afternoon, we should head home and get dressed.... What are you smiling at, Mr. Yates?"
Drusilla naturally supposed she could answer that question.
Drusilla naturally thought she could answer that question.
"Dearest little sister," she said shyly and tenderly, "we have something very wonderful to tell you."
"Dear little sister," she said shyly and gently, "we have something really amazing to share with you."
"What is it?" asked Flavilla.
"What is it?" Flavilla asked.
"We--we are--engaged," whispered Drusilla, radiant.
"We're engaged," whispered Drusilla, radiant.
"Why, I knew that already!" said Flavilla.
"Of course, I already knew that!" said Flavilla.
"Did you?" sighed her sister, turning to look at her tall, young lover. "I didn't.... Being in love is a much more complicated matter than you and I imagined, Flavilla. Is it not, Jack?"
"Did you?" sighed her sister, turning to look at her tall, young boyfriend. "I didn't.... Being in love is way more complicated than you and I thought, Flavilla. Isn't it, Jack?"
XVI
FLAVILLA
Containing a Parable Told with Such Metaphorical Skill that the Author Is Totally Unable to Understand It
Featuring a Parable Told with Such Metaphorical Skill that the Author Completely Fails to Grasp It
The Green Mouse now dominated the country; the entire United States was occupied in getting married. In the great main office on Madison Avenue, and in a thousand branch offices all over the Union, Destyn-Carr machines were working furiously; a love-mad nation was illuminated by their sparks.
The Green Mouse now ruled the country; the whole United States was caught up in getting married. In the main office on Madison Avenue, and in a thousand branch offices across the country, Destyn-Carr machines were working frantically; a love-crazed nation was lit up by their sparks.
Marriage-license bureaus had been almost put out of business by the sudden matrimonial rush; clergymen became exhausted, wedding bells in the churches were worn thin, California and Florida reported no orange crops, as all the blossoms had been required for brides; there was a shortage of solitaires, traveling clocks, asparagus tongs; and the corner in rice perpetrated by some conscienceless captain of industry produced a panic equaled only by a more terrible coup in slightly worn shoes.
Marriage license offices were nearly overwhelmed by the sudden surge in weddings; clergymen were worn out, the sound of wedding bells in churches became monotonous, California and Florida reported no orange harvests as all the blossoms were needed for brides; there was a shortage of engagement rings, travel clocks, and asparagus tongs; meanwhile, a scheme to corner the rice market by some unscrupulous businessperson created a panic rivaled only by a more disastrous scam involving slightly used shoes.
All America was rushing to get married; from Seattle to Key West the railroads were blocked with bridal parties; a vast hum of merrymaking resounded from the Golden Gate to Governor's Island, from Niagara to the Gulf of Mexico. In New York City the din was persistent; all day long church bells pealed, all day long the rattle of smart carriages and hired hacks echoed over the asphalt. A reporter of the Tribune stood on top of the New York Life tower for an entire week, devouring cold-slaw sandwiches and Marie Corelli, and during that period, as his affidavit runs, "never for one consecutive second were his ample ears free from the near or distant strains of the Wedding March."
All of America was in a hurry to get married; from Seattle to Key West, the trains were packed with wedding parties; a huge buzz of celebration echoed from the Golden Gate to Governor's Island, from Niagara to the Gulf of Mexico. In New York City, the noise was nonstop; all day long, church bells rang, and the clatter of fancy carriages and hired cabs filled the streets. A reporter from the Tribune spent an entire week on top of the New York Life tower, munching on coleslaw sandwiches and reading Marie Corelli, and during that time, as he stated in his affidavit, "never for one second were his large ears free from the near or distant sounds of the Wedding March."
And over all, in approving benediction, brooded the wide smile of the greatest of statesmen and the great smile of the widest of statesmen-- these two, metaphorically, hand in hand, floated high above their people, scattering encouraging blessings on every bride.
And above it all, in a generous blessing, was the wide smile of the greatest statesman and the big smile of the most prominent statesman—these two, figuratively holding hands, floated high above their people, spreading encouraging blessings on every bride.
A tremendous rise in values set in; the newly married required homes; architects were rushed to death; builders, real-estate operators, brokers, could not handle the business hurled at them by impatient bridegrooms.
A huge demand for homes surged; newlyweds needed places to live; architects were overwhelmed; builders, real estate agents, and brokers couldn't keep up with the business thrown at them by eager grooms.
Then, seizing time by the fetlock, some indescribable monster secured the next ten years' output of go-carts. The sins of Standard Oil were forgotten in the menace of such a national catastrophe; mothers' meetings were held; the excitement became stupendous; a hundred thousand brides invaded the Attorney-General's office, but all he could think of to say was: "Thirty centuries look down upon you!"
Then, grabbing hold of time, some unexplainable monster locked in the next ten years' supply of go-carts. The wrongdoings of Standard Oil were overshadowed by the threat of such a major national disaster; mothers' meetings were organized; the buzz was massive; a hundred thousand brides flooded the Attorney-General's office, but all he could think to say was: "Thirty centuries look down upon you!"
These vague sentiments perplexed the country. People understood that the Government meant well, but they also realized that the time was not far off when millions of go-carts would be required in the United States. And they no longer hesitated.
These unclear feelings confused the nation. People recognized that the government had good intentions, but they also knew that the time was coming when millions of go-carts would be needed in the United States. And they no longer hesitated.
All over the Union fairs and bazaars were held to collect funds for a great national factory to turn out carts. Alarmed, the Trust tried to unload; militant womanhood, thoroughly aroused, scorned compromise. In every city, town, and hamlet of the nation entertainments were given, money collected for the great popular go-cart factory.
All across the Union, fairs and bazaars were organized to raise money for a major national factory to produce carts. Alarmed, the Trust attempted to sell off their assets; determined women, fully awakened, rejected any compromise. In every city, town, and village throughout the country, events were held, and funds were gathered for the giant public go-cart factory.
The affair planned for Oyster Bay was to be particularly brilliant--a water carnival at Center Island with tableaux, fireworks, and illuminations of all sorts.
The event planned for Oyster Bay was meant to be especially spectacular—a water carnival at Center Island featuring performances, fireworks, and all kinds of lights.
Reassured by the magnificent attitude of America's womanhood, business discounted the collapse of the go-cart trust and began to recover from the check very quickly. Stocks advanced, fluctuated, and suddenly whizzed upward like skyrockets; and the long-expected wave of prosperity inundated the country. On the crest of it rode Cupid, bow and arrows discarded, holding aloft in his right hand a Destyn-Carr machine.
Reassured by the impressive strength of American women, businesses brushed off the collapse of the go-cart trust and started recovering quickly. Stocks rose, fluctuated, and suddenly shot up like fireworks, bringing with them the long-anticipated wave of prosperity that flooded the nation. At the top of it all was Cupid, with his bow and arrows set aside, proudly raising a Destyn-Carr machine in his right hand.
For the old order of things had passed away; the old-fashioned doubts and fears of courtship were now practically superfluous.
For the old way of doing things was gone; the outdated doubts and fears of dating were basically unnecessary now.
Anybody on earth could now buy a ticket and be perfectly certain that whoever he or she might chance to marry would be the right one--the one intended by destiny.
Anyone on earth could now buy a ticket and be completely sure that whoever they happened to marry would be the right one—the one destined for them.
Yet, strange as it may appear, there still remained, here and there, a few young people in the United States who had no desire to be safely provided for by a Destyn-Carr machine.
Yet, as strange as it may seem, there were still a few young people in the United States who had no interest in being safely taken care of by a Destyn-Carr machine.
Whether there was in them some sporting instinct, making hazard attractive, or, perhaps, a conviction that Fate is kind, need not be discussed. The fact remains that there were a very few youthful and marriageable folk who had no desire to know beforehand what their fate might be.
Whether they had some sense of adventure that made risk appealing, or maybe a belief that fate is benevolent, doesn't need to be debated. The reality is that there were very few young people who were eligible for marriage and didn't want to know in advance what their destiny might hold.
One of these unregenerate reactionists was Flavilla. To see her entire family married by machinery was enough for her; to witness such consummate and collective happiness became slightly cloying. Perfection can be overdone; a rift in a lute relieves melodious monotony, and when discords cease to amuse, one can always have the instrument mended or buy a banjo.
One of these stubborn reactionaries was Flavilla. Watching her whole family get married like it was a factory assembly line was enough for her; seeing such absolute and shared happiness started to feel a bit excessive. Perfection can be too much; a flaw in a lute breaks up the sweet sameness, and when disagreements stop being entertaining, you can always get the instrument fixed or just buy a banjo.
"What I desire," she said, ignoring the remonstrances of the family, "is a chance to make mistakes. Three or four nice men have thought they were in love with me, and I wouldn't take anything for the--experience. Or," she added innocently, "for the chances that some day three or four more agreeable young men may think they are in love with me. One learns by making mistakes--very pleasantly."
"What I want," she said, brushing off her family's objections, "is a chance to make mistakes. Three or four nice guys have thought they were in love with me, and I wouldn't trade anything for the experience. Or," she added with a naïve smile, "for the possibility that someday three or four more charming young men might think they're in love with me. You learn by making mistakes—quite pleasantly."
Her family sat in an affectionately earnest row and adjured her--four married sisters, four blissful brothers-in-law, her attractive stepmother, her father. She shook her pretty head and continued sewing on the costume she was to wear at the Oyster Bay Venetian Fête and Go-cart Fair.
Her family sat in a sincerely supportive line and urged her—four married sisters, four happy brothers-in-law, her stylish stepmother, her dad. She shook her lovely head and kept sewing the costume she was going to wear at the Oyster Bay Venetian Fête and Go-cart Fair.
"No," she said, threading her needle and deftly sewing a shining, silvery scale onto the mermaid's dress lying across her knees, "I'll take my chances with men. It's better fun to love a man not intended for me, and make him love me, and live happily and defiantly ever after, than to have a horrid old machine settle you for life."
"No," she said, threading her needle and skillfully sewing a shiny, silver scale onto the mermaid's dress resting on her lap, "I'll take my chances with guys. It's way more fun to love a man who's not meant for me, get him to love me back, and live happily and defiantly ever after, than to let some awful old machine dictate my fate for life."
"But you are wasting time, dear," explained her stepmother gently.
"But you're wasting time, dear," her stepmother explained gently.
"Oh, no, I'm not. I've been engaged three times and I've enjoyed it immensely. That isn't wasting time, is it? And it's such fun! He thinks he's in love and you think you're in love, and you have such an agreeable time together until you find out that you're spoons on somebody else. And then you find out you're mistaken and you say you always want him for a friend, and you presently begin all over again with a perfectly new man----"
"Oh, no, I'm not. I've been engaged three times and I've loved every minute of it. That’s not wasting time, right? And it’s so much fun! He thinks he’s in love and you think you’re in love, and you have a great time together until you realize you’re actually into someone else. Then you realize you were wrong and you say you want to keep him as a friend, and before you know it, you’re starting all over again with a totally new guy----"
"Flavilla!"
"Flavilla!"
"Yes, Pa-pah."
"Yes, Dad."
"Are you utterly demoralized!"
"Are you completely demoralized?"
"Demoralized? Why? Everybody behaved as I do before you and William invented your horrid machine. Everybody in the world married at hazard, after being engaged to various interesting young men. And I'm not demoralized; I'm only old-fashioned enough to take chances. Please let me."
"Feeling down? Why? Everyone acted like I did before you and William created your awful machine. Everyone in the world married randomly after being engaged to different intriguing guys. And I'm not feeling down; I'm just old-fashioned enough to take risks. Please let me."
The family regarded her sadly. In their amalgamated happiness they deplored her reluctance to enter where perfect bliss was guaranteed.
The family looked at her with sadness. In their combined happiness, they regretted her unwillingness to join them where complete joy was assured.
Her choice of rôle and costume for the Seawanhaka Club water tableaux they also disapproved of; for she had chosen to represent a character now superfluous and out of date--the Lorelei who lured Teutonic yachtsmen to destruction with her singing some centuries ago. And that, in these times, was ridiculous, because, fortified by a visit to the nearest Destyn-Carr machine, no weak-minded young sailorman would care what a Lorelei might do; and she could sing her pretty head off and comb herself bald before any Destyn-Carr inoculated mariner would be lured overboard.
Her choice of role and costume for the Seawanhaka Club water tableaux was also frowned upon; she had decided to portray a character that was now irrelevant and outdated—the Lorelei, who used to entice German sailors to their doom with her singing centuries ago. In today’s world, that seemed absurd because, after a trip to the nearest Destyn-Carr machine, no impressionable young sailor would care about what a Lorelei might do; she could sing her heart out and comb her hair bald, and it wouldn’t matter to any mariner vaccinated by Destyn-Carr.
But Flavilla obstinately insisted on her scaled and fish-tailed costume. When her turn came, a spot-light on the clubhouse was to illuminate the float and reveal her, combing her golden hair with a golden comb and singing away like the Musical Arts.
But Flavilla stubbornly insisted on her scaled and fish-tailed costume. When it was her turn, a spotlight in the clubhouse was supposed to shine on the float and showcase her, combing her golden hair with a golden comb and singing like the Musical Arts.
"And," she thought secretly, "if there remains upon this machine-made earth one young man worth my kind consideration, it wouldn't surprise me very much if he took a header off the Yacht Club wharf and requested me to be his. And I'd be very likely to listen to his suggestion."
"And," she thought to herself, "if there's still one decent young man left in this manufactured world, I wouldn't be too surprised if he jumped off the Yacht Club pier and asked me to be his. And I’d probably consider his proposal."
So in secret hopes of this pleasing episode--but not giving any such reason to her protesting family--she vigorously resisted all attempts to deprive her of her fish scales, golden comb, and rôle in the coming water fête. And now the programmes were printed and it was too late for them to intervene.
So in secret hopes of this enjoyable event—but not giving any reason to her protesting family—she strongly resisted all attempts to take away her fish scales, golden comb, and role in the upcoming water festival. And now the programs were printed, and it was too late for them to intervene.
She rose, holding out the glittering, finny garment, which flashed like a collapsed fish in the sunshine.
She stood up, holding out the shiny, fish-like outfit, which sparkled like a flattened fish in the sunlight.
"It's finished," she said. "Now I'm going off somewhere by myself to rehearse."
"It's done," she said. "Now I'm going to go somewhere by myself to practice."
"In the water?" asked her father uneasily.
"In the water?" her father asked, sounding uneasy.
"Certainly."
"Sure."
As Flavilla was a superb swimmer nobody could object. Later, a maid went down to the landing, stowed away luncheon, water-bottles and costume in the canoe. Later, Flavilla herself came down to the water's edge, hatless, sleeves rolled up, balancing a paddle across her shoulders.
As Flavilla was an excellent swimmer, no one could disagree. Later, a maid went down to the shore, packed up lunch, water bottles, and her swimsuit in the canoe. Soon after, Flavilla herself came down to the water's edge, without a hat, sleeves rolled up, balancing a paddle across her shoulders.
As the paddle flashed and the canoe danced away over the sparkling waters of Oyster Bay, Flavilla hummed the threadbare German song which she was to sing in her rôle of Lorelei, and headed toward Northport.
As the paddle glinted and the canoe glided over the sparkling waters of Oyster Bay, Flavilla hummed the old German song she was supposed to sing as Lorelei, making her way toward Northport.
"The thing to do," she thought to herself, "is to find some nice, little, wooded inlet where I can safely change my costume and rehearse. I must know whether I can swim in this thing--and whether I can sing while swimming about. It would be more effective, I think, than merely sitting on the float, and singing and combing my hair through all those verses."
"The thing to do," she thought to herself, "is to find a nice, small, wooded spot where I can safely change my outfit and practice. I need to know if I can swim in this and if I can sing while swimming around. It would be more impressive, I think, than just sitting on the float, singing, and combing my hair through all those verses."
The canoe danced across the water, the paddle glittered, dipped, swept astern, and flashed again. Flavilla was very, very happy for no particular reason, which is the best sort of happiness on earth.
The canoe glided over the water, the paddle sparkled, dipped, swept back, and shone again. Flavilla felt really, really happy for no specific reason, which is the best kind of happiness in the world.
There is a sandy neck of land which obstructs direct navigation between the sacred waters of Oyster Bay and the profane floods which wash the gravelly shores of Northport.
There is a sandy strip of land that blocks direct navigation between the holy waters of Oyster Bay and the ordinary tides that hit the gravelly shores of Northport.
"I'll make a carry," thought Flavilla, beaching her canoe. Then, looking around her at the lonely stretch of sand flanked by woods, she realized at once that she need seek no farther for seclusion.
"I'll make a carry," thought Flavilla, pulling her canoe onto the shore. Then, looking around at the quiet stretch of sand bordered by trees, she quickly understood that she didn’t need to look any further for privacy.
First of all, she dragged the canoe into the woods, then rapidly undressed and drew on the mermaid's scaly suit, which fitted her to the throat as beautifully as her own skin.
First of all, she pulled the canoe into the woods, then quickly took off her clothes and put on the mermaid's scaly suit, which fit her to the throat as perfectly as her own skin.
It was rather difficult for her to navigate on land, as her legs were incased in a fish's tail, but, seizing her comb and mirror, she managed to wriggle down to the water's edge.
It was pretty hard for her to move on land, since her legs were covered by a fish's tail, but grabbing her comb and mirror, she managed to squirm down to the water's edge.
A few sun-warmed rocks jutted up some little distance from shore; with a final and vigorous wriggle Flavilla launched herself and struck out for the rocks, holding comb and mirror in either hand.
A few sun-warmed rocks stuck out not far from the shore; with one last strong wiggle, Flavilla propelled herself forward and swam toward the rocks, holding a comb and mirror in each hand.
Fishtail and accessories impeded her, but she was the sort of swimmer who took no account of such trifles; and after a while she drew herself up from the sea, and, breathless, glittering, iridescent, flopped down upon a flat rock in the sunshine. From which she took a careful survey of the surroundings.
Fishtail and accessories slowed her down, but she was the kind of swimmer who didn’t mind such little things; after a while, she pulled herself out of the sea and, breathless, sparkling, and shimmering, flopped down onto a flat rock in the sun. From there, she took a careful look at her surroundings.
Certainly nobody could see her here. Nobody would interrupt her either, because the route of navigation lay far outside, to the north. All around were woods; the place was almost landlocked, save where, far away through the estuary, a blue and hazy horizon glimmered in the general direction of New England.
Certainly no one could see her here. No one would interrupt her either, because the navigation route was far away to the north. All around were woods; the place was almost landlocked, except where, far away through the estuary, a blue and hazy horizon shimmered in the general direction of New England.
So, when she had recovered sufficient breath she let down the flashing, golden-brown hair, sat up on the rock, lifted her pretty nose skyward, and poured forth melody.
So, when she had caught her breath, she let down her shining, golden-brown hair, sat up on the rock, looked up to the sky with her cute nose, and began to sing beautifully.
As she sang the tiresome old Teutonic ballad she combed away vigorously, and every now and then surveyed her features in the mirror.
As she sang the boring old German ballad, she brushed her hair vigorously and checked her reflection in the mirror from time to time.
Ich weiss nicht was soll es bedeuten
Dass ich so traurig bin----
I don’t know what it means
That I’m so sad----
she sang happily, studying her gestures with care and cheerfully flopping her tail.
she sang happily, paying close attention to her movements and cheerfully wagging her tail.
She had a very lovely voice which had been expensively cultivated. One or two small birds listened attentively for a while, then started in to help her out.
She had a beautiful voice that had been carefully developed. A couple of small birds listened closely for a bit, then began to join in.
On the veranda of his bungalow, not very far from Northport, stood a young man of pleasing aspect, knickerbockers, and unusually symmetrical legs. His hands reposed in his pockets, his eyes behind their eyeglasses were fixed dreamily upon the skies. Somebody over beyond that screen of woods was singing very beautifully, and he liked it--at first.
On the porch of his bungalow, not far from Northport, stood a young man with a nice appearance, wearing knickerbockers and having well-proportioned legs. His hands were resting in his pockets, and his eyes, behind his glasses, were dreamily fixed on the sky. Someone beyond that screen of trees was singing beautifully, and he enjoyed it—at least at first.
However, when the unseen singer had been singing the Lorelei for an hour, steadily, without intermission, an expression of surprise gradually developed into uneasy astonishment upon his clean-cut and unusually attractive features.
However, when the unseen singer had been singing the Lorelei for an hour, steadily, without a break, a look of surprise slowly turned into an uneasy astonishment on his chiseled and exceptionally good-looking face.
"That girl, whoever she is, can sing, all right," he reflected, "but why on earth does she dope out the same old thing?"
"That girl, whoever she is, can definitely sing," he thought, "but why on earth does she keep doing the same old thing?"
He looked at the strip of woods, but could see nothing of the singer. He listened; she continued to sing the Lorelei.
He stared at the patch of woods, but couldn't see the singer at all. He listened; she kept singing the Lorelei.
"It can't be a phonograph," he reasoned. "No sane person could endure an hour of that fool song. No sane person would sing it for an hour, either."
"It can't be a record player," he thought. "No sane person could stand listening to that silly song for an hour. No rational person would sing it for an hour, either."
Disturbed, he picked up the marine glasses, slung them over his shoulder, walked up on the hill back of the bungalow, selected a promising tree, and climbed it.
Disturbed, he grabbed the binoculars, threw them over his shoulder, walked up the hill behind the bungalow, chose a suitable tree, and climbed it.
Astride a lofty limb the lord of Northport gazed earnestly across the fringe of woods. Something sparkled out there, something moved, glittering on a half-submerged rock. He adjusted the marine glasses and squinted through them.
Astride a high branch, the lord of Northport looked intently across the edge of the woods. Something was sparkling out there, something was moving, glimmering on a half-submerged rock. He adjusted his binoculars and squinted through them.
"Great James!" he faltered, dropping them; and almost followed the glasses to destruction on the ground below.
"Wow, James!" he stammered, letting them slip from his hands; and he nearly toppled over the edge after the glasses as they fell to the ground below.
How he managed to get safely to earth he never knew. "Either I'm crazy," he shouted aloud, "or there's a--a mermaid out there, and I'm going to find out before they chase me to the funny house!"
How he managed to get safely to earth, he never knew. "Either I'm crazy," he shouted loudly, "or there's a--a mermaid out there, and I'm going to find out before they send me to the loony bin!"
There was a fat tub of a boat at his landing; he reached the shore in a series of long, distracted leaps, sprang aboard, cast off, thrust both oars deep into the water, and fairly hurled the boat forward, so that it alternately skipped, wallowed, scuttered, and scrambled, like a hen overboard.
There was a big, clunky boat at his dock; he got to the shore with long, distracted jumps, jumped on board, untied it, pushed both oars deep into the water, and launched the boat forward, making it skip, bob, dart, and scramble like a chicken that fell overboard.
"This is terrible," he groaned. "If I didn't see what I think I saw, I'll eat my hat; if I did see what I'm sure I saw, I'm madder than the hatter who made it!"
"This is terrible," he complained. "If I didn't see what I think I saw, I'll eat my hat; if I actually saw what I'm sure I saw, I'm angrier than the hat maker who made it!"
Nearer and nearer, heard by him distinctly above the frantic splashing of his oars, her Lorelei song sounded perilously sweet and clear.
Nearer and nearer, he heard her Lorelei song distinctly above the frantic splashing of his oars, sounding dangerously sweet and clear.
"Oh, bunch!" he moaned; "it's horribly like the real thing; and here I come headlong, as they do in the story books----"
"Oh, man!" he complained; "it's just like the real thing; and here I go rushing in, just like they do in the storybooks----"
He caught a crab that landed him in a graceful parabola in the bow, where he lay biting at the air to recover his breath. Then his boat's nose plowed into the sandy neck of land; he clambered to his feet, jumped out, and ran headlong into the belt of trees which screened the singer. Speed and gait recalled the effortless grace of the kangaroo; when he encountered logs and gullies he rose grandly, sailing into space, landing with a series of soft bounces, which presently brought him to the other side of the woods.
He caught a wave that sent him into a smooth arc in the front of the boat, where he lay gasping to catch his breath. Then the bow of his boat crashed into the sandy stretch of land; he got up, jumped out, and sprinted straight into the line of trees that hid the singer. His speed and movement reminded you of a kangaroo's natural grace; when he hit logs and dips, he leaped effortlessly, soaring into the air and landing with a series of gentle bounces, eventually bringing him to the other side of the forest.
And there, what he beheld, what he heard, almost paralyzed him. Weak- kneed, he passed a trembling hand over his incredulous eyes; with the courage of despair, he feebly pinched himself. Then for sixty sickening seconds he closed his eyes and pressed both hands over his ears. But when he took his hands away and opened his terrified eyes, the exquisitely seductive melody, wind blown from the water, thrilled him in every fiber; his wild gaze fell upon a distant, glittering shape--white-armed, golden- haired, fish-tailed, slender body glittering with silvery scales.
And there, what he saw and heard almost stunned him. Weak in the knees, he ran a trembling hand over his disbelieving eyes; with a desperate kind of bravery, he pinched himself lightly. Then for sixty nauseating seconds, he closed his eyes and pressed both hands over his ears. But when he removed his hands and opened his frightened eyes, the beautifully enchanting melody, carried by the breeze from the water, thrilled him to his core; his wild gaze landed on a distant, shimmering figure—white-armed, golden-haired, fish-tailed, with a slender body sparkling with silvery scales.
The low rippling wash of the tide across the pebbly shore was in his ears; the salt wind was in his throat. He saw the sun flash on golden comb and mirror, as her snowy fingers caressed the splendid masses of her hair; her song stole sweetly seaward as the wind veered.
The gentle sound of the waves rolling over the pebbly beach filled his ears; the salty wind scratched at his throat. He watched the sun glint off her golden comb and mirror, as her pale fingers gracefully brushed through her beautiful hair; her song drifted sweetly out to sea as the wind shifted.
A terrible calm descended upon him.
A heavy calm settled over him.
"This is interesting," he said aloud.
"This is interesting," he said out loud.
A sickening wave of terror swept him, but he straightened up, squaring his shoulders.
A wave of nausea and fear hit him, but he stood tall, rolling his shoulders back.
"I may as well face the fact," he said, "that I, Henry Kingsbury, of Pebble Point, Northport, L.I., and recently in my right mind, am now, this very moment, looking at a--a mermaid in Long Island Sound!"
"I might as well accept the truth," he said, "that I, Henry Kingsbury, from Pebble Point, Northport, L.I., and recently sane, am now, at this very moment, looking at a--a mermaid in Long Island Sound!"
He shuddered; but he was sheer pluck all through. Teeth might chatter, knees smite together, marrow turn cold; nothing on earth or Long Island could entirely stampede Henry Kingsbury, of Pebble Point.
He shuddered, but he was pure courage all the way through. His teeth might chatter, his knees might knock together, and his bones might feel cold; nothing on earth or Long Island could completely scare Henry Kingsbury, of Pebble Point.
His clutch on his self-control in any real crisis never slipped; his mental steering-gear never gave way. Again his pallid lips moved in speech:
His grip on his self-control during any real crisis never wavered; his mental focus never faltered. Once again, his pale lips moved as he spoke:
"The--thing--to--do," he said very slowly and deliberately, "is to swim out and--and touch it. If it dissolves into nothing I'll probably feel better----"
"The thing to do," he said very slowly and deliberately, "is to swim out and touch it. If it disappears, I’ll probably feel better----"
He began to remove coat, collar, and shoes, forcing himself to talk calmly all the while.
He started to take off his coat, collar, and shoes, making an effort to speak calmly the whole time.
"The thing to do," he went on dully, "is to swim over there and get a look at it. Of course, it isn't really there. As for drowning--it really doesn't matter.... In the midst of life we are in Long Island.... And, if it is there--I c-c-can c-capture it for the B-B-Bronx----"
"The thing to do," he continued flatly, "is to swim over there and check it out. Of course, it’s not really there. As for drowning—it doesn’t really matter.... In the middle of life, we are in Long Island.... And, if it is there—I c-c-can c-c-capture it for the B-B-Bronx----"
Reason tottered; it revived, however, as he plunged into the s. w.[*] of Oyster Bay and struck out, silent as a sea otter for the shimmering shape on the ruddy rocks.
Reason stumbled; however, it came back as he dove into the s. w.[*] of Oyster Bay and swam out, quiet as a sea otter towards the glimmering figure on the reddish rocks.
Flavilla was rehearsing with all her might; her white throat swelled with the music she poured forth to the sky and sea; her pretty fingers played with the folds of burnished hair; her gilded hand-mirror flashed, she gently beat time with her tail.
Flavilla was putting all her energy into her rehearsal; her white throat expanded with the music she sent to the sky and sea; her lovely fingers toyed with the strands of her shiny hair; her gold hand mirror sparkled, and she softly kept time with her tail.
So thoroughly, so earnestly, did she enter into the spirit of the siren she was representing that, at moments, she almost wished some fisherman might come into view--just to see whether he'd really go overboard after her.
So deeply and sincerely did she embrace the essence of the siren she was portraying that, at times, she almost hoped a fisherman would appear—just to find out if he would actually dive in after her.
However, audacious as her vagrant thoughts might be, she was entirely unprepared to see a human head, made sleek by sea water, emerge from the floating weeds almost at her feet.
However, as bold as her wandering thoughts might be, she was completely unprepared to see a human head, shiny from the seawater, rise from the floating weeds almost at her feet.
"Goodness," she said faintly, and attempted to rise. But her fish tail fettered her.
"Wow," she said weakly, and tried to get up. But her fish tail held her back.
"Are you real!" gasped Kingsbury.
"Are you for real?" gasped Kingsbury.
"Y-yes.... Are you?"
"Y-yeah... Are you?"
"Great James!" he half shouted, half sobbed, "are you human?"
"Great James!" he half shouted, half cried, "are you human?"
"V-very. Are you?"
"Very. Are you?"
He clutched at the weedy rock and dragged himself up. For a moment he lay breathing fast, water dripping from his soaked clothing. Once he feebly touched the glittering fish tail that lay on the rock beside him. It quivered, but needle and thread had been at work there; he drew a deep breath and closed his eyes.
He grabbed the weedy rock and pulled himself up. For a moment, he lay there, breathing heavily, water dripping from his soaked clothes. He weakly touched the shimmering fish tail resting on the rock next to him. It trembled, but someone had stitched it up; he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
When he opened them again she was looking about for a likely place to launch herself into the bay; in fact, she had already started to glide toward the water; the scraping of the scales aroused him, and he sat up.
When he opened his eyes again, she was searching for a good spot to jump into the bay; in fact, she had already begun to glide toward the water. The sound of the scales scraping caught his attention, and he sat up.
"I heard singing," he said dreamily, "and I climbed a tree and saw--you! Do you blame me for trying to corroborate a thing like you?"
"I heard singing," he said dreamily, "and I climbed a tree and saw—you! Do you blame me for trying to confirm something like you?"
"You thought I was a real one?"
"You thought I was legit?"
"I thought that I thought I saw a real one."
"I thought I saw a real one."
She looked at him hopefully.
She looked at him with hope.
"Tell me, did my singing compel you to swim out here?"
"Tell me, did my singing lure you to swim out here?"
"I don't know what compelled me."
"I don't know what drove me."
"But--you were compelled?"
"But you were forced?"
"I--it seems so----"
"I—it feels so—"
"O-h!" Flushed, excited, laughing, she clasped her hands under her chin and gazed at him.
"O-h!" Blushing, excited, laughing, she held her hands under her chin and looked at him.
"To think," she said softly, "that you believed me to be a real siren, and that my beauty and my singing actually did lure you to my rock! Isn't it exciting?"
"Can you believe," she said softly, "that you thought I was a real siren, and that my beauty and singing actually drew you to my rock? Isn’t that thrilling?"
He looked at her, then turned red:
He looked at her, then blushed:
"Yes, it is," he said.
"Yeah, it is," he said.
Hands still clasped together tightly beneath her rounded chin, she surveyed him with intense interest. He was at a disadvantage; the sleek, half-drowned appearance which a man has who emerges from a swim does not exhibit him at his best.
Hands still tightly clasped beneath her rounded chin, she looked at him with intense interest. He was at a disadvantage; the sleek, waterlogged look a man has when he comes out of a swim doesn't show him at his best.
But he had a deeper interest for Flavilla; her melody and loveliness had actually lured him across the water to the peril of her rocks; this human being, this man creature, seemed to be, in a sense, hers.
But he had a stronger interest in Flavilla; her beauty and charm had really drawn him across the water to the danger of her cliffs; this person, this man, felt like he belonged to her in a way.
"Please fix your hair," she said, handing him her comb and mirror.
"Please fix your hair," she said, giving him her comb and mirror.
"My hair?"
"My hair?"
"Certainly. I want to look at you."
"Sure. I want to see you."
He thought her request rather extraordinary, but he sat up and with the aid of the mirror, scraped away at his wet hair, parting it in the middle and combing it deftly into two gay little Mercury wings. Then, fishing in the soaked pockets of his knickerbockers, he produced a pair of smart pince-nez, which he put on, and then gazed up at her.
He found her request quite unusual, but he sat up and with the help of the mirror, combed through his wet hair, parting it in the middle and styling it into two cheerful little Mercury wings. Then, rummaging through the drenched pockets of his knickerbockers, he pulled out a stylish pair of pince-nez, put them on, and looked up at her.
"Oh!" she said, with a quick, indrawn breath, "you are attractive!"
"Oh!" she said, taking a quick breath, "you are attractive!"
At that he turned becomingly scarlet.
He blushed appealingly.
Leaning on one lovely, bare arm, burnished hair clustering against her cheeks, she continued to survey him in delighted approval which sometimes made him squirm inwardly, sometimes almost intoxicated him.
Leaning on one beautiful, bare arm, shiny hair gathered against her cheeks, she kept looking at him with delighted approval that sometimes made him squirm inside, and other times almost intoxicated him.
"To think," she murmured, "that I lured you out here!"
"Can you believe," she whispered, "that I brought you out here!"
"I am thinking about it," he said.
"I'm thinking about it," he said.
She laid her head on one side, inspecting him with frankest approval.
She tilted her head to one side, looking at him with complete approval.
"I wonder," she said, "what your name is. I am Flavilla Carr."
"I’m curious," she said, "what your name is. I’m Flavilla Carr."
"Not one of the Carr triplets!"
"Not a single one of the Carr triplets!"
"Yes--but," she added quickly, "I'm not married. Are you?"
"Yes—but," she quickly added, "I'm not married. How about you?"
"Oh, no, no, no!" he said hastily. "I'm Henry Kingsbury, of Pebble Point, Northport----"
"Oh, no, no, no!" he said quickly. "I'm Henry Kingsbury from Pebble Point, Northport----"
"Master and owner of the beautiful but uncertain Sappho? Oh, tell me, are you the man who has tipped over so many times in Long Island Sound? Because I--I adore a man who has the pluck to continue to capsize every day or two."
"Master and owner of the beautiful yet unpredictable Sappho? Oh, tell me, are you the guy who's flipped over so many times in Long Island Sound? Because I--I admire a man who has the courage to keep capsizing every day or two."
"Then," he said, "you can safely adore me, for I am that yachtsman who has fallen off the Sappho more times than the White Knight fell off his horse."
"Then," he said, "you can confidently admire me, because I’m that yachtsman who has fallen off the Sappho more times than the White Knight fell off his horse."
"I--I do adore you!" she exclaimed impulsively.
"I— I totally adore you!" she exclaimed impulsively.
"Of course, you d-d-don't mean that," he stammered, striving to smile.
"Of course, you d-d-don't mean that," he stammered, trying to smile.
"Yes--almost. Tell me, you--I know you are not like other men! You never have had anything to do with a Destyn-Carr machine, have you?"
"Yeah—almost. Tell me, you—I know you’re not like other guys! You never have had anything to do with a Destyn-Carr machine, have you?"
"Never!"
"Not a chance!"
"Neither have I.... And so you are not in love--are you?"
"Me neither... So you're not in love, right?"
"No."
"Nope."
"Neither am I. Oh, I am so glad that you and I have waited, and not become engaged to somebody by machinery.... I wonder whom you are destined for."
"Me neither. Oh, I’m so glad that you and I have waited, and haven’t gotten engaged to someone out of obligation... I wonder who you’re meant to be with."
"Nobody--by machinery."
"Nobody—by machine."
She clapped her hands. "Neither am I. It is too stupid, isn't it? I don't want to marry the man I ought to marry. I'd rather take chances with a man who attracts me and who is attracted by me.... There was, in the old days--before everybody married by machinery--something not altogether unworthy in being a siren, wasn't there?... It's perfectly delightful to think of your seeing me out here on the rocks, and then instantly plunging into the waves and tearing a foaming right of way to what might have been destruction!"
She clapped her hands. "Me neither. It’s so silly, right? I don’t want to marry the guy I’m supposed to marry. I’d rather take my chances with someone who excites me and who feels the same way about me.... Back in the old days—before everyone married like it was on a conveyor belt—there was something kind of appealing about being a siren, don’t you think?... It's absolutely wonderful to imagine you seeing me out here on the rocks, and then immediately diving into the waves and carving a wild path that could lead to disaster!"
Her flushed, excited face between its clustering curls looked straight into his.
Her flushed, excited face framed by her curly hair looked directly into his.
"It was destruction," he said. His own voice sounded odd to him. "Utter destruction to my peace of mind," he said again.
"It was destruction," he said. His own voice sounded strange to him. "Complete destruction of my peace of mind," he said again.
"You--don't think that you love me, do you?" she asked. "That would be too--too perfect a climax.... Do you?" she asked curiously.
"You—don't really think that you love me, do you?" she asked. "That would be too—too perfect of a climax.... Do you?" she asked with curiosity.
"I--think so."
"I guess so."
"Do--do you know it?" He gazed bravely at her: "Yes."
"Do--do you know it?" He looked at her confidently: "Yes."
She flung up both arms joyously, then laughed aloud:
She threw both arms up with joy and then laughed out loud:
"Oh, the wonder of it! It is too perfect, too beautiful! You really love me? Do you? Are you sure?"
"Oh, the wonder of it! It’s so perfect, so beautiful! You really love me? Do you? Are you sure?"
"Yes.... Will you try to love me?"
"Yes... Will you try to love me?"
"Well, you know that sirens don't care for people.... I've already been engaged two or three times.... I don't mind being engaged to you."
"Well, you know that sirens don't care about people.... I've already been engaged two or three times.... I don't mind being engaged to you."
"Couldn't you care for me, Flavilla?"
"Can't you take care of me, Flavilla?"
"Why, yes. I do.... Please don't touch me; I'd rather not. Of course, you know, I couldn't really love you so quickly unless I'd been subjected to one of those Destyn-Carr machines. You know that, don't you? But," she added frankly, "I wouldn't like to have you get away from me. I--I feel like a tender-hearted person in the street who is followed by a lost cat----"
"Yes, I do.... Please don't touch me; I'd rather you not. Of course, you know I couldn't really love you this quickly unless I had been through one of those Destyn-Carr machines. You know that, right? But," she admitted honestly, "I wouldn't want you to get away from me. I--I feel like a soft-hearted person on the street who's being followed by a lost cat----"
"What!"
"What?!"
"Oh, I didn't mean anything unpleasant--truly I didn't. You know how tenderly one feels when a poor stray cat comes trotting after one----"
"Oh, I didn't mean anything harsh--I really didn't. You know how gentle you feel when a poor stray cat comes running after you----"
He got up, mad all through.
He got up, angry all the way through.
"Are you offended?" she asked sorrowfully. "When I didn't mean anything except that my heart--which is rather impressionable--feels very warmly and tenderly toward the man who swam after me.... Won't you understand, please? Listen, we have been engaged only a minute, and here already is our first quarrel. You can see for yourself what would happen if we ever married."
"Are you offended?" she asked sadly. "I didn't mean anything by it except that my heart—which is quite sensitive—feels very warmly and tenderly toward the guy who swam after me.... Can’t you understand, please? Look, we’ve only been engaged for a minute, and here we are already having our first argument. You can see for yourself what would happen if we ever got married."
"It wouldn't be machine-made bliss, anyway," he said.
"It wouldn't be artificial happiness, anyway," he said.
That seemed to interest her; she inspected him earnestly.
That caught her attention; she looked him over seriously.
"Also," he added, "I thought you desired to take a sportsman's chances?"
"Also," he added, "I thought you wanted to take a sportsman's chances?"
"I--do."
"I do."
"And I thought you didn't want to marry the man you ought to marry."
"And I thought you didn’t want to marry the guy you should marry."
"That is--true."
"That’s true."
"Then you certainly ought not to marry me--but, will you?"
"Then you definitely shouldn't marry me--but will you?"
"How can I when I don't--love you."
"How can I when I don't love you?"
"You don't love me because you ought not to on such brief acquaintance.... But will you love me, Flavilla?"
"You don't love me because you shouldn't on such a short acquaintance.... But will you love me, Flavilla?"
She looked at him in silence, sitting very still, the bright hair veiling her cheeks, the fish's tail curled up against her side.
She gazed at him silently, sitting very still, her bright hair covering her cheeks, the fish's tail curled up against her side.
"Will you?"
"Will you?"
"I don't know," she said faintly.
"I don't know," she said softly.
"Try."
"Give it a shot."
"I--am."
"I'm here."
"Shall I help you?"
"Can I help you?"
Evidently she had gazed at him long enough; her eyes fell; her white fingers picked at the seaweed pods. His arm closed around her; nothing stirred but her heart.
Evidently, she had looked at him long enough; her eyes dropped; her pale fingers fiddled with the seaweed pods. His arm wrapped around her; nothing moved except for her heart.
"Shall I help you to love me?" he breathed.
"Do you want me to help you love me?" he whispered.
"No--I am--past help." She raised her head.
"No—I'm—beyond help." She lifted her head.
"This is all so--so wrong," she faltered, "that I think it must be right.... Do you truly love me?... Don't kiss me if you do.... Now I believe you.... Lift me; I can't walk in this fish's tail.... Now set me afloat, please."
"This is all so--so messed up," she hesitated, "that I think it must be right.... Do you really love me?... Don't kiss me if you do.... Now I believe you.... Pick me up; I can't walk in this fish tail.... Now let me go, please."
He lifted her, walked to the water's edge, bent and placed her in the sea. In an instant she had darted from his arms out into the waves, flashing, turning like a silvery salmon.
He picked her up, walked to the edge of the water, bent down, and set her in the sea. In a split second, she had darted from his arms into the waves, glimmering and spinning like a silver salmon.
"Are you coming?" she called back to him.
"Are you coming?" she called to him.
He did not stir. She swam in a circle and came up beside the rock. After a long, long silence, she lifted up both arms; he bent over. Then, very slowly, she drew him down into the water.
He didn’t move. She swam in a circle and came up next to the rock. After a long, long silence, she raised both arms; he leaned down. Then, very slowly, she pulled him down into the water.
"I am quite sure," she said, as they sat together at luncheon on the sandspit which divides Northport Bay from the s.w. of Oyster Bay, "that you and I are destined for much trouble when we marry; but I love you so dearly that I don't care."
"I’m pretty sure," she said, as they sat together at lunch on the sandbank that separates Northport Bay from the southwest of Oyster Bay, "that you and I are going to face a lot of challenges when we get married; but I love you so much that I don’t mind."
"Neither do I," he said; "will you have another sandwich?"
"Me neither," he said. "Do you want another sandwich?"
And, being young and healthy, she took it, and biting into it, smiled adorably at her lover.
And since she was young and healthy, she took it, and as she bit into it, she smiled cutely at her partner.
OTHER BOOKS BY
ROBERT W. CHAMBERS
ROBERT W. CHAMBERS
It was Mr. Chambers himself who wrote of the caprices of the Mystic Three--Fate, Chance, and Destiny--and how it frequently happened that a young man "tripped over the maliciously extended foot of Fate and fell plump into the open arms of Destiny." Perhaps it was due to one of the pranks of the mystic sisters that Mr. Chambers himself should lay down his brush and palette and take up the pen. Mr. Chambers studied art in Paris for seven years. At twenty-four his paintings were accepted at the Salon; at twenty-eight he had returned to New York and was busy as an illustrator for Life, Truth, and other periodicals. But already the desire to write was coursing through him. The Latin Quarter of Paris, where he had studied so long, seemed to haunt him; he wanted to tell its story. So he did write the story and, in 1893, published it under the title of "In the Quarter." The same year he published another book, "The King in Yellow," a grewsome tale, but remarkably successful. The easel was pushed aside; the painter had become writer.
It was Mr. Chambers himself who wrote about the quirks of the Mystic Three—Fate, Chance, and Destiny—and how it often happened that a young man "tripped over the maliciously extended foot of Fate and fell right into the open arms of Destiny." Perhaps it was one of the tricks of the mystic sisters that led Mr. Chambers to put down his brush and palette and pick up the pen. Mr. Chambers studied art in Paris for seven years. At twenty-four, his paintings were accepted at the Salon; by twenty-eight, he had returned to New York and was busy as an illustrator for Life, Truth, and other magazines. But the urge to write was already building within him. The Latin Quarter of Paris, where he had spent so much time, seemed to haunt him; he wanted to tell its story. So he wrote the story and, in 1893, published it under the title "In the Quarter." That same year, he released another book, "The King in Yellow," a gruesome tale, but it was incredibly successful. The easel was set aside; the painter had become a writer.
Writing of Mr. Chambers's novel of last fall
Writing of Mr. Chambers's novel from last fall
THE DANGER MARK
THE DANGER MARK
in The Bookman, Dr. Frederic Taber Cooper said, "In this last field (the society novel) it would seem as though Mr. Chambers had, at length, found himself; and the fact that the last of the four books is the best and most sustained and most honest piece of work he has yet done affords solid ground for the belief that he has still better and maturer volumes yet to come. There is no valid reason why Mr. Chambers should not ultimately be remembered as the novelist who left behind him a comprehensive human comedy of New York."
in The Bookman, Dr. Frederic Taber Cooper said, "In this last field (the society novel), it looks like Mr. Chambers has finally found his voice; and the fact that the last of his four books is the best, most consistent, and most sincere work he has done so far gives us good reason to believe that even better and more mature books are on the way. There’s no good reason why Mr. Chambers shouldn’t ultimately be remembered as the novelist who created a complete human comedy of New York."
This is another novel of society life like "The Fighting Chance" and "The Firing Line." The chief characters in the story are a boy and a girl, inheritors of a vast fortune, whose parents are dead, and who have been left in the guardianship of a large Trust Company. They are brought up with no companions of their own age and are a unique pair when turned out, on coming of age, into New York society--two children educated by a great machine, possessors of fabulous wealth, with every inherited instinct for good and evil set free for the first time. The fact that the girl has acquired the habit of dropping a little cologne on a lump of sugar and nibbling it when tired or depressed gives an indication of the struggle that the children have before them, a struggle of their own, in the midst of their luxurious surroundings, more vital, more real, perhaps, than any that Mr. Chambers has yet depicted. It is a tense, powerful, highly dramatic story, handling a delicate subject without offense to the taste or the judgment of the most critical reader.
This is another novel about social life like "The Fighting Chance" and "The Firing Line." The main characters are a boy and a girl who have inherited a huge fortune. Their parents are deceased, and they’ve been put under the care of a large Trust Company. They grow up without peers their age and are a unique pair when they finally enter New York society at adulthood—two kids raised by a massive system, owners of incredible wealth, with every innate sense of right and wrong unleashed for the first time. The fact that the girl has developed the habit of putting a bit of cologne on a sugar cube and nibbling it when she feels tired or down hints at the challenges they face, a personal struggle against a backdrop of luxury that might be more intense and real than anything Mr. Chambers has depicted so far. It's a gripping, powerful, and highly dramatic story that addresses a sensitive topic without offending the taste or judgment of even the most discerning reader.
Mr. Chambers's third novel of society life is
Mr. Chambers's third novel about social life is
THE FIRING LINE
THE Firing Line
Its scenes are laid principally at Palm Beach, and no more distinct yet delicately tinted picture of an American fashionable resort, in the full blossom of its brief, recurrent glory, has ever been drawn. In this book, Mr. Chambers's purpose is to show that the salvation of society lies in the constant injection of new blood into its veins. His heroine, the captivating Shiela Cardross, of unknown parentage, yet reared in luxury, suddenly finds herself on life's firing line, battling with one of the most portentous problems a young girl ever had to face. Only a master writer could handle her story; Mr. Chambers does it most successfully.
Its scenes are mostly set in Palm Beach, and no clearer yet subtly colored depiction of an American upscale resort, at the height of its short-lived glory, has ever been created. In this book, Mr. Chambers aims to demonstrate that society's salvation depends on continually introducing new energy into its fabric. His heroine, the enchanting Shiela Cardross, of unknown origins but raised in luxury, suddenly finds herself thrust into life's challenges, confronting one of the most significant issues a young woman could ever face. Only a skilled writer could tell her story; Mr. Chambers does it exceptionally well.
THE YOUNGER SET
THE YOUNGER CROWD
is the second of Mr. Chambers's society novels. It takes the reader into the swirling society life of fashionable New York, there to wrestle with that ever-increasing evil, the divorce question. As a student of life, Mr. Chambers is thorough; he knows society; his pictures are so accurate that he enables the reader to imbibe the same atmosphere as if he had been born and brought up in it. Moreover, no matter how intricate the plot may be or how great the lesson to be taught, the romance in the story is always foremost. For "The Younger Set," Mr. Chambers has provided a hero with a rigid code of honor and the grit to stick to it, even though it be unfashionable and out of date. He is a man whom everyone would seek to emulate.
is the second of Mr. Chambers's society novels. It takes the reader into the vibrant social scene of trendy New York, confronting the growing issue of divorce. As a keen observer of life, Mr. Chambers is comprehensive; he understands society; his portrayals are so precise that he allows the reader to soak in the same ambiance as if they had been born and raised in it. Moreover, no matter how complex the plot or how important the lesson to be learned, the romance in the story always takes center stage. For "The Younger Set," Mr. Chambers has created a hero with a strict code of honor and the determination to uphold it, even when it goes against the trends and feels outdated. He is a man whom everyone would want to admire.
The earliest of Mr. Chambers's society novels is
The earliest of Mr. Chambers's society novels is
THE FIGHTING CHANCE
THE FIGHTING CHANCE
It is the story of a young man who has inherited with his wealth a craving for liquor, and a girl who has inherited a certain rebelliousness and a tendency toward dangerous caprice. The two, meeting on the brink of ruin, fight out their battles--two weaknesses joined with love to make a strength.
It’s the story of a young man who has inherited not just his wealth but also a thirst for alcohol, and a girl who has inherited a spirit of rebellion and a tendency for risky behavior. The two meet when they’re on the edge of destruction, battling their struggles—two flaws combined with love to create a strength.
It is sufficient to say of this novel that more than five million people have read it. It has taken a permanent place among the best fiction of the period.
It’s enough to say about this novel that over five million people have read it. It has secured a lasting spot among the best fiction of its time.
SPECIAL MESSENGER
SPECIAL COURIER
is the title of Mr. Chambers's novel just preceding "The Danger Mark." It is the romance of a young woman spy and scout in the Civil War. As a special messenger in the Union service, she is led into a maze of critical situations, but her coolness and bravery and winsome personality always carry her on to victory. The story is crowded with dramatic incident, the roar of battle, the grim realities of war; and, at times, in sharp contrast, comes the tenderest of romance. It is written with an understanding and sympathy for the viewpoint of the partisans on both sides of the conflict.
is the title of Mr. Chambers's novel just before "The Danger Mark." It tells the story of a young woman who serves as a spy and scout during the Civil War. As a special messenger for the Union, she finds herself in a series of critical situations, but her calmness, bravery, and charming personality help her overcome challenges and achieve success. The narrative is filled with dramatic events, the chaos of battle, and the harsh truths of war; at times, it contrasts sharply with the most tender moments of romance. It is written with a deep understanding and empathy for the perspectives of the people on both sides of the conflict.
THE RECKONING
THE RECKONING
is a novel of the Revolutionary War. It is the fourth, chronologically, of a series of which "Cardigan" and "The Maid-at-Arms" were the first two. The third has not yet been written. These novels of New York in the Revolutionary days are another striking example of the enthusiasm which Mr. Chambers puts into his work. To write an accurate and successful historical novel, one must be a historian as well as a romancer. Mr. Chambers is an authority on New York State history during the Colonial period. And, if the hours spent in poring over old maps and reading up old records and journals do not show, the result is always apparent. The facts are not obtrusive, but they are there, interwoven in the gauzy woof of the artist's imagination. That is why these romances carry conviction always, why we breathe the very air of the period as we read them.
is a novel set during the Revolutionary War. It's the fourth in a series, with "Cardigan" and "The Maid-at-Arms" being the first two. The third one hasn't been written yet. These novels about New York during revolutionary times showcase the passion Mr. Chambers pours into his work. To create a successful historical novel, you need to be both a historian and a storyteller. Mr. Chambers is an expert on New York State history from the Colonial period. Even if you can't see the countless hours he spends studying old maps and going through records and journals, the results are always clear. The facts blend seamlessly into the fabric of the artist's imagination. That’s why these stories feel so authentic and why we can almost sense the atmosphere of the time as we read them.
IOLE
IOLE
Another splendid example of the author's versatility is this farcical, humorous satire on the art nouveau of to-day, Mr. Chambers, with all his knowledge of the artistic jargon, has in this little novel created a pious fraud of a father, who brings up his eight lovely daughters in the Adirondacks, where they wear pink pajamas and eat nuts and fruit, and listen to him while he lectures them and everybody else on art. It is easy to imagine what happens when several rich and practical young New Yorkers stumble upon this group. Everybody is happy in the end.
Another great example of the author's versatility is this hilarious satire on today's art nouveau. Mr. Chambers, with all his knowledge of artistic jargon, has created a pious fraud of a father in this little novel, who raises his eight beautiful daughters in the Adirondacks. They wear pink pajamas, eat nuts and fruit, and listen to him lecture them—and everyone else—about art. It's easy to imagine what happens when a group of wealthy, practical young New Yorkers discovers this family. In the end, everyone is happy.
One might run on for twenty books more, but there is not space enough more than to mention "The Tracer of Lost Persons," "The Tree of Heaven," "Some Ladies in Haste," and Mr. Chambers's delightful nature books for children, telling how Geraldine and Peter go wandering through "Outdoor-Land," "Mountain-Land," "Orchard-Land," "River-Land," "Forest- Land," and "Garden-Land." They, in turn, are as different from his novels in fancy and conception as each of his novels from the other.
One could go on for another twenty books, but there's not enough space to do more than mention "The Tracer of Lost Persons," "The Tree of Heaven," "Some Ladies in Haste," and Mr. Chambers's wonderful nature books for kids, which tell how Geraldine and Peter wander through "Outdoor-Land," "Mountain-Land," "Orchard-Land," "River-Land," "Forest-Land," and "Garden-Land." Each of these is just as different from his novels in style and concept as each of his novels is from the others.
Mr. Chambers is a born optimist. The labor of writing is a natural enjoyment to him. In reading anything he has written, one is at once impressed with the ease with which it moves along. There is no straining after effects, no affectations, no hysteria; but always there is a personality, an individuality that appeals to the best side of the reader's nature and somehow builds up a personal relation between him and the author. Perhaps it is this consummate skill, this remarkable ability to win the reader that has enabled Mr. Chambers to increase his audience year after year, until it now numbers millions; and it is only just that critics should, as they frequently do, proclaim him "the most popular writer in the country."
Mr. Chambers is a natural optimist. Writing comes to him with genuine enjoyment. When you read anything he’s written, you can easily appreciate how smoothly it flows. There's no forced drama, no pretentiousness, no over-the-top emotions; instead, there's a unique personality that resonates with the reader's better instincts and somehow fosters a personal connection between them and the author. Maybe it’s his exceptional talent and remarkable ability to engage readers that has allowed Mr. Chambers to grow his audience year after year, now reaching millions; it's only fair that critics often label him "the most popular writer in the country."
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