This is a modern-English version of The Willows, originally written by Blackwood, Algernon.
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The Willows
by Algernon Blackwood
(1907)
(1907)
Contents
I. |
II. |
III. |
IV. |
V. |
I.
After leaving Vienna, and long before you come to Budapest, the Danube enters a region of singular loneliness and desolation, where its waters spread away on all sides regardless of a main channel, and the country becomes a swamp for miles upon miles, covered by a vast sea of low willow-bushes. On the big maps this deserted area is painted in a fluffy blue, growing fainter in color as it leaves the banks, and across it may be seen in large straggling letters the word Sümpfe, meaning marshes.
After leaving Vienna and long before you reach Budapest, the Danube flows into a region of unique isolation and desolation, where its waters spread out in all directions without a main channel, turning the land into a swamp for miles and miles, blanketed by a vast sea of low willow bushes. On the large maps, this deserted area is shown in a soft blue, fading in color as it moves away from the banks, and across it, you can see the word Sümpfe, which means marshes, written in big, uneven letters.
In high flood this great acreage of sand, shingle-beds, and willow-grown islands is almost topped by the water, but in normal seasons the bushes bend and rustle in the free winds, showing their silver leaves to the sunshine in an ever-moving plain of bewildering beauty. These willows never attain to the dignity of trees; they have no rigid trunks; they remain humble bushes, with rounded tops and soft outline, swaying on slender stems that answer to the least pressure of the wind; supple as grasses, and so continually shifting that they somehow give the impression that the entire plain is moving and alive. For the wind sends waves rising and falling over the whole surface, waves of leaves instead of waves of water, green swells like the sea, too, until the branches turn and lift, and then silvery white as their underside turns to the sun.
During high floods, this vast area of sand, gravel beds, and willow-covered islands is almost submerged, but in normal seasons, the bushes sway and rustle in the open winds, showcasing their silver leaves to the sunlight in a constantly shifting canvas of stunning beauty. These willows never grow into the stature of trees; they lack sturdy trunks and remain modest bushes with rounded tops and soft shapes, swaying on slender stems that respond to even the lightest breeze; flexible like grass, and perpetually moving, giving the impression that the entire plain is alive. The wind creates waves that rise and fall across the whole surface, not of water, but of leaves—green swells like the sea—until the branches turn and lift, revealing their silvery white undersides to the sun.
Happy to slip beyond the control of the stern banks, the Danube here wanders about at will among the intricate network of channels intersecting the islands everywhere with broad avenues down which the waters pour with a shouting sound; making whirlpools, eddies, and foaming rapids; tearing at the sandy banks; carrying away masses of shore and willow-clumps; and forming new islands innumerably which shift daily in size and shape and possess at best an impermanent life, since the flood-time obliterates their very existence.
Happy to break free from the strict banks, the Danube here meanders freely through the intricate network of channels that crisscross the islands everywhere, with wide pathways where the waters rush loudly; creating whirlpools, eddies, and foamy rapids; eroding the sandy banks; sweeping away chunks of shoreline and willow clusters; and forming countless new islands that constantly change in size and shape and barely last, since the flood season wipes them out entirely.
Properly speaking, this fascinating part of the river’s life begins soon after leaving Pressburg, and we, in our Canadian canoe, with gipsy tent and frying-pan on board, reached it on the crest of a rising flood about mid-July. That very same morning, when the sky was reddening before sunrise, we had slipped swiftly through still-sleeping Vienna, leaving it a couple of hours later a mere patch of smoke against the blue hills of the Wienerwald on the horizon; we had breakfasted below Fischeramend under a grove of birch trees roaring in the wind; and had then swept on the tearing current past Orth, Hainburg, Petronell (the old Roman Carnuntum of Marcus Aurelius), and so under the frowning heights of Thelsen on a spur of the Carpathians, where the March steals in quietly from the left and the frontier is crossed between Austria and Hungary.
This fascinating part of the river's life actually starts soon after leaving Pressburg, and we, in our Canadian canoe with a gypsy tent and frying pan packed, arrived at it on the crest of a rising flood in mid-July. That very morning, as the sky turned red before sunrise, we quickly passed through still-sleeping Vienna, which became just a patch of smoke against the blue hills of the Wienerwald in the distance a couple of hours later; we had breakfasted beneath a grove of birch trees roaring in the wind below Fischeramend; and then we swept along the rushing current past Orth, Hainburg, Petronell (the old Roman Carnuntum of Marcus Aurelius), and so on under the looming heights of Thelsen on a spur of the Carpathians, where the March quietly merges in from the left and we crossed the border between Austria and Hungary.
Racing along at twelve kilometers an hour soon took us well into Hungary, and the muddy waters—sure sign of flood—sent us aground on many a shingle-bed, and twisted us like a cork in many a sudden belching whirlpool before the towers of Pressburg (Hungarian, Pozsóny) showed against the sky; and then the canoe, leaping like a spirited horse, flew at top speed under the grey walls, negotiated safely the sunken chain of the Fliegende Brucke ferry, turned the corner sharply to the left, and plunged on yellow foam into the wilderness of islands, sandbanks, and swamp-land beyond—the land of the willows.
Racing along at twelve kilometers an hour quickly took us deep into Hungary, and the muddy waters—definitely a sign of flooding—grounded us on many gravel beds and tossed us around like a cork in sudden whirlpools before the towers of Pressburg (Hungarian, Pozsóny) came into view against the sky. Then the canoe, jumping like an eager horse, sped at full throttle under the gray walls, safely navigated the submerged chain of the Fliegende Brucke ferry, turned the corner sharply to the left, and plunged into the yellow foam of the wilderness filled with islands, sandbanks, and swamps beyond—the land of the willows.
The change came suddenly, as when a series of bioscope pictures snaps down on the streets of a town and shifts without warning into the scenery of lake and forest. We entered the land of desolation on wings, and in less than half an hour there was neither boat nor fishing-hut nor red roof, nor any single sign of human habitation and civilization within sight. The sense of remoteness from the world of humankind, the utter isolation, the fascination of this singular world of willows, winds, and waters, instantly laid its spell upon us both, so that we allowed laughingly to one another that we ought by rights to have held some special kind of passport to admit us, and that we had, somewhat audaciously, come without asking leave into a separate little kingdom of wonder and magic—a kingdom that was reserved for the use of others who had a right to it, with everywhere unwritten warnings to trespassers for those who had the imagination to discover them.
The change happened suddenly, like when a series of movie clips shifts without warning from the streets of a town to scenes of lakes and forests. We entered a desolate land with excitement, and in less than half an hour, there was no boat, no fishing hut, no red roof, nor any sign of human habitation or civilization in sight. The feeling of being far removed from humanity, the complete isolation, and the allure of this unique world filled with willows, winds, and waters quickly captivated us both. We jokingly told each other that we should have had some special kind of passport to enter, and that we had, somewhat boldly, come in without permission into this little kingdom of wonder and magic—a place meant for those who had the right to be there, with invisible warnings for trespassers for those imaginative enough to notice them.
Though still early in the afternoon, the ceaseless buffetings of a most tempestuous wind made us feel weary, and we at once began casting about for a suitable camping-ground for the night. But the bewildering character of the islands made landing difficult; the swirling flood carried us in shore and then swept us out again; the willow branches tore our hands as we seized them to stop the canoe, and we pulled many a yard of sandy bank into the water before at length we shot with a great sideways blow from the wind into a backwater and managed to beach the bows in a cloud of spray. Then we lay panting and laughing after our exertions on the hot yellow sand, sheltered from the wind, and in the full blaze of a scorching sun, a cloudless blue sky above, and an immense army of dancing, shouting willow bushes, closing in from all sides, shining with spray and clapping their thousand little hands as though to applaud the success of our efforts.
Though it was still early afternoon, the relentless battering of a fierce wind made us feel exhausted, and we immediately started looking for a suitable spot to camp for the night. However, the confusing layout of the islands made landing difficult; the swirling current pulled us towards the shore and then pushed us back out again. The willow branches cut our hands as we grabbed them to stop the canoe, and we pulled in a lot of sandy bank into the water before we finally shot sideways from a strong gust of wind into a backwater and managed to beach the front of the canoe in a splash of spray. Then we lay there, panting and laughing after our efforts on the hot yellow sand, sheltered from the wind, under the intense heat of the sun, with a clear blue sky above us, and a huge crowd of dancing, shouting willow bushes closing in from all sides, sparkling with spray and clapping their thousand little hands as if to celebrate the success of our efforts.
“What a river!” I said to my companion, thinking of all the way we had traveled from the source in the Black Forest, and how he had often been obliged to wade and push in the upper shallows at the beginning of June.
“What a river!” I said to my friend, recalling all the distance we had covered from the source in the Black Forest, and how he had often had to wade and push through the shallow waters at the beginning of June.
“Won’t stand much nonsense now, will it?” he said, pulling the canoe a little farther into safety up the sand, and then composing himself for a nap.
“Not going to put up with any nonsense now, are we?” he said, pulling the canoe a bit further up the sand for safety and then getting ready for a nap.
I lay by his side, happy and peaceful in the bath of the elements—water, wind, sand, and the great fire of the sun—thinking of the long journey that lay behind us, and of the great stretch before us to the Black Sea, and how lucky I was to have such a delightful and charming traveling companion as my friend, the Swede.
I lay next to him, feeling happy and relaxed in the embrace of nature—water, wind, sand, and the blazing sun—reflecting on the long journey we had behind us and the vast distance ahead to the Black Sea, grateful for having such a wonderful and charming travel buddy as my friend, the Swede.
We had made many similar journeys together, but the Danube, more than any other river I knew, impressed us from the very beginning with its aliveness. From its tiny bubbling entry into the world among the pinewood gardens of Donaueschingen, until this moment when it began to play the great river-game of losing itself among the deserted swamps, unobserved, unrestrained, it had seemed to us like following the growth of some living creature. Sleepy at first, but later developing violent desires as it became conscious of its deep soul, it rolled, like some huge fluid being, through all the countries we had passed, holding our little craft on its mighty shoulders, playing roughly with us sometimes, yet always friendly and well-meaning, till at length we had come inevitably to regard it as a Great Personage.
We had taken many similar trips together, but the Danube, more than any other river I knew, amazed us right from the start with its aliveness. From its small bubbling start in the pine gardens of Donaueschingen to this moment when it began to lose itself in the empty swamps, unseen and uncontrolled, it felt like we were witnessing the growth of a living creature. At first, it seemed sleepy, but later it developed strong desires as it became aware of its deep essence. It flowed, like a massive fluid being, through all the countries we passed, carrying our little boat on its powerful shoulders, sometimes playing roughly with us but always friendly and well-intentioned, until we inevitably came to see it as a Great Personage.
How, indeed, could it be otherwise, since it told us so much of its secret life? At night we heard it singing to the moon as we lay in our tent, uttering that odd sibilant note peculiar to itself and said to be caused by the rapid tearing of the pebbles along its bed, so great is its hurrying speed. We knew, too, the voice of its gurgling whirlpools, suddenly bubbling up on a surface previously quite calm; the roar of its shallows and swift rapids; its constant steady thundering below all mere surface sounds; and that ceaseless tearing of its icy waters at the banks. How it stood up and shouted when the rains fell flat upon its face! And how its laughter roared out when the wind blew up-stream and tried to stop its growing speed! We knew all its sounds and voices, its tumblings and foamings, its unnecessary splashing against the bridges; that self-conscious chatter when there were hills to look on; the affected dignity of its speech when it passed through the little towns, far too important to laugh; and all these faint, sweet whisperings when the sun caught it fairly in some slow curve and poured down upon it till the steam rose.
How could it be any different when it revealed so much of its secret life? At night, we heard it singing to the moon while we lay in our tent, making that distinct sibilant sound that's unique to it, said to come from the rapid movement of the pebbles along its bed, reflecting how fast it rushes. We were also familiar with the voice of its gurgling whirlpools, suddenly bubbling up on a surface that was previously calm; the roar of its shallows and fast rapids; its constant, steady thundering beneath all the other sounds; and that endless tearing of its icy waters against the banks. It seemed to stand up and shout when the rain hit its surface! And its laughter erupted when the wind blew upstream, attempting to slow it down! We knew all its sounds and voices, its tumbling and foaming, its unnecessary splashes against the bridges; that self-aware chatter when there were hills to observe; the affected dignity in its speech as it flowed through small towns, far too important to laugh; and all those faint, sweet whispers when the sun caught it just right in a slow curve and poured down on it until steam rose.
It was full of tricks, too, in its early life before the great world knew it. There were places in the upper reaches among the Swabian forests, when yet the first whispers of its destiny had not reached it, where it elected to disappear through holes in the ground, to appear again on the other side of the porous limestone hills and start a new river with another name; leaving, too, so little water in its own bed that we had to climb out and wade and push the canoe through miles of shallows.
It was full of tricks, too, in its early days before the wider world knew about it. There were spots in the higher areas of the Swabian forests, when the first hints of its fate hadn't yet reached it, where it chose to vanish through holes in the ground, only to show up again on the other side of the porous limestone hills and start a new river with a different name; leaving so little water in its own bed that we had to climb out, wade, and push the canoe through miles of shallow water.
And a chief pleasure, in those early days of its irresponsible youth, was to lie low, like Brer Fox, just before the little turbulent tributaries came to join it from the Alps, and to refuse to acknowledge them when in, but to run for miles side by side, the dividing line well marked, the very levels different, the Danube utterly declining to recognize the newcomer. Below Passau, however, it gave up this particular trick, for there the Inn comes in with a thundering power impossible to ignore, and so pushes and incommodes the parent river that there is hardly room for them in the long twisting gorge that follows, and the Danube is shoved this way and that against the cliffs, and forced to hurry itself with great waves and much dashing to and fro in order to get through in time. And during the fight our canoe slipped down from its shoulder to its breast, and had the time of its life among the struggling waves. But the Inn taught the old river a lesson, and after Passau it no longer pretended to ignore new arrivals.
One of the main joys in those early days of its carefree youth was to lie low, like Brer Fox, just before the little wild tributaries came rushing in from the Alps, and to not acknowledge them when they arrived, but to run alongside them for miles, the dividing line clearly marked, the water levels completely different, with the Danube stubbornly refusing to recognize the newcomer. However, below Passau, it abandoned this particular game, since there the Inn comes in with a thunderous force that's impossible to overlook, pushing and crowding out the main river to the point where there’s hardly any room for both in the long, winding gorge that follows. The Danube ends up being pushed this way and that against the cliffs, rushed along by big waves and a lot of splashing around to get through in time. During the struggle, our canoe slipped from its shoulder to its belly, having the time of its life among the turbulent waves. But the Inn taught the old river a lesson, and after Passau, it no longer pretended to ignore new arrivals.
This was many days back, of course, and since then we had come to know other aspects of the great creature, and across the Bavarian wheat plain of Straubing she wandered so slowly under the blazing June sun that we could well imagine only the surface inches were water, while below there moved, concealed as by a silken mantle, a whole army of Undines, passing silently and unseen down to the sea, and very leisurely too, lest they be discovered.
This was many days ago, of course, and since then we had learned other aspects of the great creature. She wandered slowly across the Bavarian wheat fields of Straubing under the blazing June sun, and we could easily imagine that only the surface inches were water, while below, hidden beneath a silken layer, moved a whole army of Undines, passing silently and unseen down to the sea, taking their time too, so they wouldn’t be discovered.
Much, too, we forgave her because of her friendliness to the birds and animals that haunted the shores. Cormorants lined the banks in lonely places in rows like short black palings; grey crows crowded the shingle-beds; storks stood fishing in the vistas of shallower water that opened up between the islands, and hawks, swans, and marsh birds of all sorts filled the air with glinting wings and singing, petulant cries. It was impossible to feel annoyed with the river’s vagaries after seeing a deer leap with a splash into the water at sunrise and swim past the bows of the canoe; and often we saw fawns peering at us from the underbrush, or looked straight into the brown eyes of a stag as we charged full tilt round a corner and entered another reach of the river. Foxes, too, everywhere haunted the banks, tripping daintily among the driftwood and disappearing so suddenly that it was impossible to see how they managed it.
We also forgave her a lot because of her kindness to the birds and animals by the shore. Cormorants lined the banks in quiet spots like short black fences; grey crows crowded the pebbly areas; storks were fishing in the shallow waters between the islands, and hawks, swans, and all kinds of marsh birds filled the air with their shining wings and noisy calls. It was hard to stay annoyed by the river’s changes after watching a deer leap with a splash into the water at sunrise and swim past the front of the canoe; we often saw fawns peeking at us from the bushes or locked eyes with a stag as we zoomed around a bend and entered another stretch of the river. Foxes also lingered along the banks, moving gracefully among the driftwood and disappearing so quickly that it was impossible to tell how they did it.
But now, after leaving Pressburg, everything changed a little, and the Danube became more serious. It ceased trifling. It was half-way to the Black Sea, within seeming distance almost of other, stranger countries where no tricks would be permitted or understood. It became suddenly grown-up, and claimed our respect and even our awe. It broke out into three arms, for one thing, that only met again a hundred kilometers farther down, and for a canoe there were no indications which one was intended to be followed.
But now, after leaving Pressburg, everything changed a bit, and the Danube felt more serious. It stopped being playful. It was halfway to the Black Sea, almost within reach of other, stranger countries where no tricks would be allowed or understood. It suddenly felt mature, demanding our respect and even our awe. It split into three branches that only rejoined about a hundred kilometers downstream, and for a canoe, there were no signs indicating which one to take.
“If you take a side channel,” said the Hungarian officer we met in the Pressburg shop while buying provisions, “you may find yourselves, when the flood subsides, forty miles from anywhere, high and dry, and you may easily starve. There are no people, no farms, no fishermen. I warn you not to continue. The river, too, is still rising, and this wind will increase.”
“If you take a side channel,” said the Hungarian officer we met in the Pressburg shop while buying supplies, “you might end up, when the flood goes down, forty miles from anywhere, stranded and dry, and you could easily starve. There are no people, no farms, no fishermen. I advise you not to go on. The river is still rising, and this wind is going to get stronger.”
The rising river did not alarm us in the least, but the matter of being left high and dry by a sudden subsidence of the waters might be serious, and we had consequently laid in an extra stock of provisions. For the rest, the officer’s prophecy held true, and the wind, blowing down a perfectly clear sky, increased steadily till it reached the dignity of a westerly gale.
The rising river didn't worry us at all, but the risk of being stuck without water if it suddenly dropped was a real concern, so we stocked up on extra supplies. Other than that, the officer's prediction was spot on, and the wind, coming from an entirely clear sky, picked up steadily until it became a strong westerly gale.
It was earlier than usual when we camped, for the sun was a good hour or two from the horizon, and leaving my friend still asleep on the hot sand, I wandered about in desultory examination of our hotel. The island, I found, was less than an acre in extent, a mere sandy bank standing some two or three feet above the level of the river. The far end, pointing into the sunset, was covered with flying spray which the tremendous wind drove off the crests of the broken waves. It was triangular in shape, with the apex up stream.
It was earlier than usual when we set up camp, as the sun was still about an hour or two from the horizon. Leaving my friend sound asleep on the hot sand, I strolled around, casually exploring our hotel. I discovered that the island was less than an acre in size, just a small sandy bank rising two or three feet above the river. The far end, facing the sunset, was covered with spray whipped up by the strong wind from the crashing waves. It was triangular in shape, with the point oriented upstream.
I stood there for several minutes, watching the impetuous crimson flood bearing down with a shouting roar, dashing in waves against the bank as though to sweep it bodily away, and then swirling by in two foaming streams on either side. The ground seemed to shake with the shock and rush, while the furious movement of the willow bushes as the wind poured over them increased the curious illusion that the island itself actually moved. Above, for a mile or two, I could see the great river descending upon me; it was like looking up the slope of a sliding hill, white with foam, and leaping up everywhere to show itself to the sun.
I stood there for several minutes, watching the wild red flood rushing toward me with a loud roar, crashing into the bank as if it wanted to sweep it away, then swirling past in two foaming streams on either side. The ground felt like it was shaking from the impact and flow, while the furious movement of the willow bushes as the wind whipped through them added to the strange illusion that the island itself was actually moving. Above, for a mile or two, I could see the mighty river coming down at me; it was like looking up a sliding hill, covered in foam, leaping everywhere to catch the sunlight.
The rest of the island was too thickly grown with willows to make walking pleasant, but I made the tour, nevertheless. From the lower end the light, of course, changed, and the river looked dark and angry. Only the backs of the flying waves were visible, streaked with foam, and pushed forcibly by the great puffs of wind that fell upon them from behind. For a short mile it was visible, pouring in and out among the islands, and then disappearing with a huge sweep into the willows, which closed about it like a herd of monstrous antediluvian creatures crowding down to drink. They made me think of gigantic sponge-like growths that sucked the river up into themselves. They caused it to vanish from sight. They herded there together in such overpowering numbers.
The rest of the island was so overgrown with willows that walking wasn't enjoyable, but I went around it anyway. From the lower end, the light shifted, making the river look dark and furious. Only the backs of the crashing waves were visible, streaked with foam and forcefully pushed by strong gusts of wind from behind. For a short mile, it was visible, winding in and out among the islands, before disappearing with a huge curve into the willows, which closed around it like a herd of enormous, ancient creatures coming to drink. They reminded me of giant sponge-like formations that absorbed the river into themselves. They made it vanish from sight, gathering there in such overwhelming numbers.
Altogether it was an impressive scene, with its utter loneliness, its bizarre suggestion; and as I gazed, long and curiously, a singular emotion began to stir somewhere in the depths of me. Midway in my delight of the wild beauty, there crept, unbidden and unexplained, a curious feeling of disquietude, almost of alarm.
Altogether it was an impressive scene, with its complete loneliness and strange suggestion; and as I looked, long and curiously, a unique emotion began to stir deep within me. In the midst of my enjoyment of the wild beauty, a curious feeling of unease, almost of alarm, crept in uninvited and unexplained.
A rising river, perhaps, always suggests something of the ominous; many of the little islands I saw before me would probably have been swept away by the morning; this resistless, thundering flood of water touched the sense of awe. Yet I was aware that my uneasiness lay deeper far than the emotions of awe and wonder. It was not that I felt. Nor had it directly to do with the power of the driving wind—this shouting hurricane that might almost carry up a few acres of willows into the air and scatter them like so much chaff over the landscape. The wind was simply enjoying itself, for nothing rose out of the flat landscape to stop it, and I was conscious of sharing its great game with a kind of pleasurable excitement. Yet this novel emotion had nothing to do with the wind. Indeed, so vague was the sense of distress I experienced, that it was impossible to trace it to its source and deal with it accordingly, though I was aware somehow that it had to do with my realization of our utter insignificance before this unrestrained power of the elements about me. The huge-grown river had something to do with it too—a vague, unpleasant idea that we had somehow trifled with these great elemental forces in whose power we lay helpless every hour of the day and night. For here, indeed, they were gigantically at play together, and the sight appealed to the imagination.
A rising river always feels a bit ominous; many of the little islands I saw would probably be gone by morning. This unstoppable, thundering flood of water filled me with awe. But I realized my unease ran deeper than just feelings of awe and wonder. It wasn't about what I felt directly. It wasn’t even related to the powerful wind—this roaring hurricane that could easily lift a few acres of willows into the air and scatter them like dust across the landscape. The wind was simply having fun since nothing rose from the flat ground to block it, and I felt a sense of shared excitement in its wild game. Still, this new emotion had nothing to do with the wind. In fact, my sense of distress was so vague that I couldn't pinpoint its source or address it properly, though I sensed it linked to my awareness of our utter insignificance against the raw power of the elements around me. The swollen river contributed to this feeling too—a nagging, unsettling thought that we had somehow messed with these great elemental forces over which we were utterly powerless every hour of the day and night. Here, these forces were at play in a huge way, and the sight sparked the imagination.
But my emotion, so far as I could understand it, seemed to attach itself more particularly to the willow bushes, to these acres and acres of willows, crowding, so thickly growing there, swarming everywhere the eye could reach, pressing upon the river as though to suffocate it, standing in dense array mile after mile beneath the sky, watching, waiting, listening. And, apart quite from the elements, the willows connected themselves subtly with my malaise, attacking the mind insidiously somehow by reason of their vast numbers, and contriving in some way or other to represent to the imagination a new and mighty power, a power, moreover, not altogether friendly to us.
But my feelings, as much as I could grasp, seemed to be especially linked to the willow bushes, to these vast stretches of willows, growing so thickly everywhere you looked, crowding the river as if trying to choke it. They stood densely arranged mile after mile under the sky, watching, waiting, listening. And aside from the surrounding elements, the willows connected themselves subtly with my unease, creeping into my mind in a way that was unsettling because of their sheer numbers, and somehow suggesting to my imagination a new and immense force, a force that wasn’t entirely on our side.
Great revelations of nature, of course, never fail to impress in one way or another, and I was no stranger to moods of the kind. Mountains overawe and oceans terrify, while the mystery of great forests exercises a spell peculiarly its own. But all these, at one point or another, somewhere link on intimately with human life and human experience. They stir comprehensible, even if alarming, emotions. They tend on the whole to exalt.
Great revelations of nature never fail to impress in one way or another, and I was familiar with feelings like that. Mountains inspire awe, oceans evoke fear, and the mystery of vast forests has a unique enchantment. However, all of these elements, at some point, connect deeply with human life and experiences. They evoke understandable, even if unsettling, emotions. Overall, they tend to elevate.
With this multitude of willows, however, it was something far different, I felt. Some essence emanated from them that besieged the heart. A sense of awe awakened, true, but of awe touched somewhere by a vague terror. Their serried ranks, growing everywhere darker about me as the shadows deepened, moving furiously yet softly in the wind, woke in me the curious and unwelcome suggestion that we had trespassed here upon the borders of an alien world, a world where we were intruders, a world where we were not wanted or invited to remain—where we ran grave risks perhaps!
With all these willows around us, it felt completely different, I thought. There was something about them that hit me in the heart. I felt a sense of awe, but it was mixed with a strange fear. Their tightly packed rows grew darker around me as the shadows deepened, moving fiercely yet gently in the wind, making me think the unsettling thought that we had crossed into an unfamiliar world, a world where we were outsiders, a world where we weren’t welcome or invited to stay—where we might be in serious danger!
The feeling, however, though it refused to yield its meaning entirely to analysis, did not at the time trouble me by passing into menace. Yet it never left me quite, even during the very practical business of putting up the tent in a hurricane of wind and building a fire for the stew-pot. It remained, just enough to bother and perplex, and to rob a most delightful camping-ground of a good portion of its charm. To my companion, however, I said nothing, for he was a man I considered devoid of imagination. In the first place, I could never have explained to him what I meant, and in the second, he would have laughed stupidly at me if I had.
The feeling, however, even though I couldn’t fully analyze it, didn't trouble me by turning into a threat at the time. Still, it never completely went away, even while I was practically focused on setting up the tent in a strong wind and starting a fire for the stew. It lingered just enough to annoy and confuse me, taking away some of the charm of what should have been a great camping spot. I didn’t mention it to my companion, though, because I thought he lacked imagination. First, I could never have explained what I meant, and second, he would have just laughed at me if I did.
There was a slight depression in the center of the island, and here we pitched the tent. The surrounding willows broke the wind a bit.
There was a small dip in the middle of the island, and this is where we set up the tent. The nearby willows blocked the wind a little.
“A poor camp,” observed the imperturbable Swede when at last the tent stood upright, “no stones and precious little firewood. I’m for moving on early tomorrow—eh? This sand won’t hold anything.”
“A shabby campsite,” remarked the calm Swede when the tent was finally pitched, “no stones and hardly any firewood. I think we should move on early tomorrow—right? This sand isn’t stable enough.”
But the experience of a collapsing tent at midnight had taught us many devices, and we made the cozy gipsy house as safe as possible, and then set about collecting a store of wood to last till bed-time. Willow bushes drop no branches, and driftwood was our only source of supply. We hunted the shores pretty thoroughly. Everywhere the banks were crumbling as the rising flood tore at them and carried away great portions with a splash and a gurgle.
But the experience of a collapsing tent at midnight had taught us many tricks, and we made the cozy gypsy house as secure as we could, then set about gathering enough wood to last until bedtime. Willow bushes don’t shed branches, so driftwood was our only source of supply. We searched the shores pretty thoroughly. Everywhere the banks were eroding as the rising flood battered them, sweeping away large sections with a splash and a gurgle.
“The island’s much smaller than when we landed,” said the accurate Swede. “It won’t last long at this rate. We’d better drag the canoe close to the tent, and be ready to start at a moment’s notice. I shall sleep in my clothes.”
“The island's way smaller than when we got here,” said the precise Swede. “It won't last long at this rate. We should pull the canoe close to the tent and be ready to leave at a moment's notice. I'm going to sleep in my clothes.”
He was a little distance off, climbing along the bank, and I heard his rather jolly laugh as he spoke.
He was a bit farther away, walking along the riverbank, and I heard his kind of cheerful laugh as he talked.
“By Jove!” I heard him call, a moment later, and turned to see what had caused his exclamation. But for the moment he was hidden by the willows, and I could not find him.
“By Jove!” I heard him shout a moment later, and I turned to see what had made him exclaim. But for now, he was hidden by the willows, and I couldn't spot him.
“What in the world’s this?” I heard him cry again, and this time his voice had become serious.
“What on earth is this?” I heard him shout again, and this time his voice sounded serious.
I ran up quickly and joined him on the bank. He was looking over the river, pointing at something in the water.
I hurried up and joined him on the riverbank. He was staring at the water, pointing at something in it.
“Good heavens, it’s a man’s body!” he cried excitedly. “Look!”
“Wow, it's a man's body!” he shouted excitedly. “Check this out!”
A black thing, turning over and over in the foaming waves, swept rapidly past. It kept disappearing and coming up to the surface again. It was about twenty feet from the shore, and just as it was opposite to where we stood it lurched round and looked straight at us. We saw its eyes reflecting the sunset, and gleaming an odd yellow as the body turned over. Then it gave a swift, gulping plunge, and dived out of sight in a flash.
A dark shape, rolling over and over in the frothy waves, rushed by quickly. It kept vanishing and then resurfacing. It was about twenty feet from the shore, and just as it was directly in front of us, it swung around and looked right at us. We saw its eyes shining in the sunset, glowing a strange yellow as its body flipped over. Then it made a quick, gulping dive, disappearing in an instant.
“An otter, by gad!” we exclaimed in the same breath, laughing.
“An otter, for real!” we said at the same time, laughing.
It was an otter, alive, and out on the hunt; yet it had looked exactly like the body of a drowned man turning helplessly in the current. Far below it came to the surface once again, and we saw its black skin, wet and shining in the sunlight.
It was an otter, alive and out hunting; yet it looked just like the body of a drowned man drifting helplessly in the current. Far below, it surfaced again, and we saw its black skin, wet and glistening in the sunlight.
Then, too, just as we turned back, our arms full of driftwood, another thing happened to recall us to the river bank. This time it really was a man, and what was more, a man in a boat. Now a small boat on the Danube was an unusual sight at any time, but here in this deserted region, and at flood time, it was so unexpected as to constitute a real event. We stood and stared.
Then, just as we turned back with our arms full of driftwood, another thing happened that brought us back to the riverbank. This time it was definitely a man, and even more surprising, a man in a boat. A small boat on the Danube was a rare sight at any time, but here in this empty area, during flood season, it was so unexpected that it felt like a real event. We stood there staring.
Whether it was due to the slanting sunlight, or the refraction from the wonderfully illumined water, I cannot say, but, whatever the cause, I found it difficult to focus my sight properly upon the flying apparition. It seemed, however, to be a man standing upright in a sort of flat-bottomed boat, steering with a long oar, and being carried down the opposite shore at a tremendous pace. He apparently was looking across in our direction, but the distance was too great and the light too uncertain for us to make out very plainly what he was about. It seemed to me that he was gesticulating and making signs at us. His voice came across the water to us shouting something furiously, but the wind drowned it so that no single word was audible. There was something curious about the whole appearance—man, boat, signs, voice—that made an impression on me out of all proportion to its cause.
Whether it was the angle of the sunlight or the way the beautifully lit water refracted it, I can't say, but whatever the reason, I had a hard time focusing on the figure flying by. It looked like a man standing upright in a flat-bottomed boat, steering with a long oar, and speeding down the opposite shore at an incredible pace. He seemed to be looking our way, but the distance and the uncertain light made it hard for us to clearly see what he was doing. I thought he was waving and signaling to us. His voice came across the water, shouting something angrily, but the wind drowned it out so we couldn't hear a single word. There was something strange about the whole scene—man, boat, gestures, voice—that left an impression on me that felt way bigger than what was actually happening.
“He’s crossing himself!” I cried. “Look, he’s making the sign of the Cross!”
“He's crossing himself!” I shouted. “Look, he's making the sign of the Cross!”
“I believe you’re right,” the Swede said, shading his eyes with his hand and watching the man out of sight. He seemed to be gone in a moment, melting away down there into the sea of willows where the sun caught them in the bend of the river and turned them into a great crimson wall of beauty. Mist, too, had begun to ruse, so that the air was hazy.
“I think you’re right,” the Swede said, shielding his eyes with his hand and watching the man disappear. He seemed to vanish in an instant, blending into the sea of willows where the sun hit them at the river bend and transformed them into a magnificent crimson wall of beauty. Mist had also started to rise, making the air feel hazy.
“But what in the world is he doing at nightfall on this flooded river?” I said, half to myself. “Where is he going at such a time, and what did he mean by his signs and shouting? D’you think he wished to warn us about something?”
“But what on earth is he doing at dusk on this flooded river?” I muttered, partly to myself. “Where is he heading at this hour, and what did he mean with his signals and yelling? Do you think he wanted to warn us about something?”
“He saw our smoke, and thought we were spirits probably,” laughed my companion. “These Hungarians believe in all sorts of rubbish; you remember the shopwoman at Pressburg warning us that no one ever landed here because it belonged to some sort of beings outside man’s world! I suppose they believe in fairies and elementals, possibly demons, too. That peasant in the boat saw people on the islands for the first time in his life,” he added, after a slight pause, “and it scared him, that’s all.”
“He saw our smoke and probably thought we were ghosts,” my companion laughed. “These Hungarians believe all sorts of nonsense; remember the shopkeeper in Pressburg warning us that no one ever landed here because it belonged to some beings beyond our world? I guess they believe in fairies and elementals, maybe even demons. That farmer in the boat saw people on the islands for the first time in his life,” he added after a brief pause, “and it just freaked him out, that’s all.”
The Swede’s tone of voice was not convincing, and his manner lacked something that was usually there. I noted the change instantly while he talked, though without being able to label it precisely.
The Swede's tone of voice wasn't convincing, and his demeanor was missing something that was usually there. I noticed the change immediately while he talked, even though I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was.
“If they had enough imagination,” I laughed loudly—I remember trying to make as much noise as I could—“they might well people a place like this with the old gods of antiquity. The Romans must have haunted all this region more or less with their shrines and sacred groves and elemental deities.”
“If they had enough imagination,” I laughed loudly—I remember trying to make as much noise as I could—“they could totally fill a place like this with the old gods from ancient times. The Romans must have roamed this area with their shrines and sacred groves and elemental deities.”
The subject dropped and we returned to our stew-pot, for my friend was not given to imaginative conversation as a rule. Moreover, just then I remember feeling distinctly glad that he was not imaginative; his stolid, practical nature suddenly seemed to me welcome and comforting. It was an admirable temperament, I felt; he could steer down rapids like a red Indian, shoot dangerous bridges and whirlpools better than any white man I ever saw in a canoe. He was a grand fellow for an adventurous trip, a tower of strength when untoward things happened. I looked at his strong face and light curly hair as he staggered along under his pile of driftwood (twice the size of mine!), and I experienced a feeling of relief. Yes, I was distinctly glad just then that the Swede was—what he was, and that he never made remarks that suggested more than they said.
The topic changed and we went back to our stew pot since my friend usually wasn't one for imaginative conversation. Besides, at that moment I remember feeling really glad that he wasn't imaginative; his solid, practical nature felt comforting and reassuring to me. I thought it was an impressive temperament; he could navigate rapids like a Native American, tackle dangerous bridges and whirlpools better than any white guy I’d ever seen in a canoe. He was a great guy for an adventurous trip, a real rock when things went wrong. I looked at his strong face and light curly hair as he struggled along with his huge load of driftwood (twice the size of mine!), and I felt a sense of relief. Yeah, I was truly glad at that moment that the Swede was just who he was, and that he never made comments that hinted at more than what he meant.
“The river’s still rising, though,” he added, as if following out some thoughts of his own, and dropping his load with a gasp. “This island will be under water in two days if it goes on.”
“The river’s still rising, though,” he added, as if lost in his own thoughts, and he dropped his load with a gasp. “This island will be underwater in two days if it keeps this up.”
“I wish the wind would go down,” I said. “I don’t care a fig for the river.”
“I wish the wind would stop,” I said. “I don’t care at all about the river.”
The flood, indeed, had no terrors for us; we could get off at ten minutes’ notice, and the more water the better we liked it. It meant an increasing current and the obliteration of the treacherous shingle-beds that so often threatened to tear the bottom out of our canoe.
The flood really didn’t scare us; we could leave with just ten minutes’ notice, and the more water there was, the better we liked it. It meant a stronger current and got rid of the dangerous gravel beds that often threatened to rip the bottom out of our canoe.
Contrary to our expectations, the wind did not go down with the sun. It seemed to increase with the darkness, howling overhead and shaking the willows round us like straws. Curious sounds accompanied it sometimes, like the explosion of heavy guns, and it fell upon the water and the island in great flat blows of immense power. It made me think of the sounds a planet must make, could we only hear it, driving along through space.
Against our expectations, the wind didn’t calm down with the sunset. It seemed to pick up as night fell, howling above us and rattling the willows like they were made of straw. Sometimes, strange noises accompanied it, like the blast of heavy artillery, and it hit the water and the island with huge, powerful gusts. It made me imagine the sounds a planet might make if we could hear it, moving through space.
But the sky kept wholly clear of clouds, and soon after supper the full moon rose up in the east and covered the river and the plain of shouting willows with a light like the day.
But the sky was completely clear of clouds, and shortly after dinner, the full moon rose in the east and lit up the river and the field of rustling willows with a light that felt like daytime.
We lay on the sandy patch beside the fire, smoking, listening to the noises of the night round us, and talking happily of the journey we had already made, and of our plans ahead. The map lay spread in the door of the tent, but the high wind made it hard to study, and presently we lowered the curtain and extinguished the lantern. The firelight was enough to smoke and see each other’s faces by, and the sparks flew about overhead like fireworks. A few yards beyond, the river gurgled and hissed, and from time to time a heavy splash announced the falling away of further portions of the bank.
We lay on the sandy spot next to the fire, smoking, listening to the sounds of the night around us, and chatting happily about the journey we had already taken and our plans for the future. The map was spread out in the tent's doorway, but the strong wind made it difficult to read, so we eventually pulled down the curtain and turned off the lantern. The firelight was enough to smoke and see each other's faces, and the sparks floated overhead like fireworks. A few yards away, the river gurgled and hissed, and occasionally a heavy splash signaled the collapse of more sections of the bank.
Our talk, I noticed, had to do with the faraway scenes and incidents of our first camps in the Black Forest, or of other subjects altogether remote from the present setting, for neither of us spoke of the actual moment more than was necessary—almost as though we had agreed tacitly to avoid discussion of the camp and its incidents. Neither the otter nor the boatman, for instance, received the honor of a single mention, though ordinarily these would have furnished discussion for the greater part of the evening. They were, of course, distinct events in such a place.
Our conversation, I noticed, revolved around distant memories and experiences from our early camps in the Black Forest, or completely unrelated topics, as neither of us talked about the current situation more than was necessary—almost like we had silently agreed to steer clear of discussing the camp and its events. Neither the otter nor the boatman, for example, got a single mention, even though normally they would have filled most of our evening’s discussion. They were, of course, significant occurrences in a place like this.
The scarcity of wood made it a business to keep the fire going, for the wind, that drove the smoke in our faces wherever we sat, helped at the same time to make a forced draught. We took it in turn to make some foraging expeditions into the darkness, and the quantity the Swede brought back always made me feel that he took an absurdly long time finding it; for the fact was I did not care much about being left alone, and yet it always seemed to be my turn to grub about among the bushes or scramble along the slippery banks in the moonlight. The long day’s battle with wind and water—such wind and such water!—had tired us both, and an early bed was the obvious program. Yet neither of us made the move for the tent. We lay there, tending the fire, talking in desultory fashion, peering about us into the dense willow bushes, and listening to the thunder of wind and river. The loneliness of the place had entered our very bones, and silence seemed natural, for after a bit the sound of our voices became a trifle unreal and forced; whispering would have been the fitting mode of communication, I felt, and the human voice, always rather absurd amid the roar of the elements, now carried with it something almost illegitimate. It was like talking out loud in church, or in some place where it was not lawful, perhaps not quite safe, to be overheard.
The lack of wood turned keeping the fire going into a task, since the wind blew smoke in our faces no matter where we sat, while also creating a forced draft. We took turns going out into the darkness to forage, and the amount of wood the Swede brought back always made me think he took way too long to find it; the truth was, I didn’t really like being left alone, but it always seemed to be my turn to rummage around in the bushes or slip along the muddy banks in the moonlight. The long day's struggle against wind and water—what wind and what water!—had worn us both out, so hitting the hay early was the obvious plan. Yet neither of us made a move toward the tent. We lay there, tending the fire, chatting casually, glancing around at the thick willow bushes, and listening to the loud wind and river. The isolation of the place had seeped into our bones, and silence felt natural. After a while, the sound of our voices felt a bit unreal and forced; I thought whispering would have been more appropriate, and the human voice, always a bit ridiculous amid the roar of nature, now felt almost out of place. It was like speaking out loud in church, or in a place where it wasn’t quite safe to be overheard.
The eeriness of this lonely island, set among a million willows, swept by a hurricane, and surrounded by hurrying deep waters, touched us both, I fancy. Untrodden by man, almost unknown to man, it lay there beneath the moon, remote from human influence, on the frontier of another world, an alien world, a world tenanted by willows only and the souls of willows. And we, in our rashness, had dared to invade it, even to make use of it! Something more than the power of its mystery stirred in me as I lay on the sand, feet to fire, and peered up through the leaves at the stars. For the last time I rose to get firewood.
The eeriness of this lonely island, surrounded by countless willows, buffeted by a hurricane, and enveloped by rushing deep waters, affected us both, I think. Untouched by humans, almost unheard of by people, it rested there under the moon, far from human influence, on the edge of another world, an alien world, a world occupied only by willows and the spirits of willows. And we, in our impulsiveness, had dared to invade it, even to use it! Something beyond its mystery stirred within me as I lay on the sand, feet to the fire, and looked up through the leaves at the stars. For the last time, I got up to gather firewood.
“When this has burnt up,” I said firmly, “I shall turn in,” and my companion watched me lazily as I moved off into the surrounding shadows.
“When this has burned out,” I said firmly, “I’ll head to bed,” and my friend watched me drowsily as I walked into the surrounding shadows.
For an unimaginative man I thought he seemed unusually receptive that night, unusually open to suggestion of things other than sensory. He too was touched by the beauty and loneliness of the place. I was not altogether pleased, I remember, to recognize this slight change in him, and instead of immediately collecting sticks, I made my way to the far point of the island where the moonlight on plain and river could be seen to better advantage. The desire to be alone had come suddenly upon me; my former dread returned in force; there was a vague feeling in me I wished to face and probe to the bottom.
For a guy who usually lacked imagination, I thought he seemed surprisingly open that night, unusually receptive to ideas beyond just the physical senses. He too felt the beauty and isolation of the place. I wasn’t entirely happy, I remember, to see this small change in him, and instead of immediately gathering sticks, I headed to the farthest point of the island where the moonlight on the land and river was more visible. The urge to be alone hit me suddenly; my earlier fears came back strongly; there was a vague feeling inside me that I wanted to confront and explore deeply.
When I reached the point of sand jutting out among the waves, the spell of the place descended upon me with a positive shock. No mere “scenery” could have produced such an effect. There was something more here, something to alarm.
When I got to the sandy spot sticking out among the waves, the charm of the place hit me like a jolt. No ordinary “scenery” could have made me feel this way. There was something deeper here, something to be wary of.
I gazed across the waste of wild waters; I watched the whispering willows; I heard the ceaseless beating of the tireless wind; and, one and all, each in its own way, stirred in me this sensation of a strange distress. But the willows especially; for ever they went on chattering and talking among themselves, laughing a little, shrilly crying out, sometimes sighing—but what it was they made so much to-do about belonged to the secret life of the great plain they inhabited. And it was utterly alien to the world I knew, or to that of the wild yet kindly elements. They made me think of a host of beings from another plane of life, another evolution altogether, perhaps, all discussing a mystery known only to themselves. I watched them moving busily together, oddly shaking their big bushy heads, twirling their myriad leaves even when there was no wind. They moved of their own will as though alive, and they touched, by some incalculable method, my own keen sense of the horrible.
I looked out over the vast stretch of wild waters; I noticed the whispering willows; I heard the constant rustling of the unending wind; and each, in its unique way, filled me with a strange sense of unease. But the willows in particular stood out; they kept chattering and talking among themselves, laughing a bit, suddenly crying out, sometimes sighing—but what they were so worked up about was part of the secret life of the vast plain they lived in. And it felt completely foreign to the world I knew, or to the wild yet gentle elements around me. They reminded me of a group of beings from another realm of existence, perhaps a whole different evolution, all discussing a mystery only they understood. I watched them busily interacting with each other, oddly shaking their large, bushy heads, twirling their countless leaves even when there was no wind. They moved with a will of their own as if they were alive, and somehow they tapped into my own sharp sense of the horrible.
There they stood in the moonlight, like a vast army surrounding our camp, shaking their innumerable silver spears defiantly, formed all ready for an attack.
There they stood in the moonlight, like a huge army surrounding our camp, shaking their countless silver spears defiantly, all set for an attack.
The psychology of places, for some imaginations at least, is very vivid; for the wanderer, especially, camps have their “note” either of welcome or rejection. At first it may not always be apparent, because the busy preparations of tent and cooking prevent, but with the first pause—after supper usually—it comes and announces itself. And the note of this willow-camp now became unmistakably plain to me; we were interlopers, trespassers; we were not welcomed. The sense of unfamiliarity grew upon me as I stood there watching. We touched the frontier of a region where our presence was resented. For a night’s lodging we might perhaps be tolerated; but for a prolonged and inquisitive stay—No! by all the gods of the trees and wilderness, no! We were the first human influences upon this island, and we were not wanted. The willows were against us.
The psychology of places is really striking for some people, especially for wanderers; camps send out a vibe of either welcome or rejection. At first, it might not be obvious because the hustle and bustle of setting up tents and cooking distracts. But once things calm down—usually after dinner—that vibe hits you. And the vibe of this willow camp became clear to me; we were intruders, unwelcome guests. The feeling of being out of place intensified as I stood there watching. We had crossed into a territory where our presence was not appreciated. We might be tolerated for a night, but anything longer or more curious—definitely not! By all the spirits of the trees and wilderness, no! We were the first humans to set foot on this island, and we weren't wanted. The willows were against us.
Strange thoughts like these, bizarre fancies, borne I know not whence, found lodgment in my mind as I stood listening. What, I thought, if, after all, these crouching willows proved to be alive; if suddenly they should rise up, like a swarm of living creatures, marshaled by the gods whose territory we had invaded, sweep towards us off the vast swamps, booming overhead in the night—and then settle down! As I looked it was so easy to imagine they actually moved, crept nearer, retreated a little, huddled together in masses, hostile, waiting for the great wind that should finally start them a-running. I could have sworn their aspect changed a little, and their ranks deepened and pressed more closely together.
Strange thoughts like these, bizarre ideas that I couldn't quite trace, settled in my mind as I stood listening. What if, I wondered, these crouching willows were actually alive? What if they suddenly rose up like a swarm of living beings, summoned by the gods whose land we had intruded upon, sweeping towards us from the vast swamps, booming overhead in the night—and then settled down! As I looked, it was so easy to imagine they actually moved, creeping closer, pulling back a bit, huddling together in groups, unfriendly, waiting for the strong wind that would finally set them in motion. I could have sworn their appearance changed slightly, and their ranks deepened and pressed closer together.
The melancholy shrill cry of a night-bird sounded overhead, and suddenly I nearly lost my balance as the piece of bank I stood upon fell with a great splash into the river, undermined by the flood. I stepped back just in time, and went on hunting for firewood again, half laughing at the odd fancies that crowded so thickly into my mind and cast their spell upon me. I recalled the Swede’s remark about moving on next day, and I was just thinking that I fully agreed with him, when I turned with a start and saw the subject of my thoughts standing immediately in front of me. He was quite close. The roar of the elements had covered his approach.
The sad, piercing call of a night bird echoed above me, and suddenly I almost lost my balance as the bank I was standing on collapsed with a big splash into the river, weakened by the flood. I stepped back just in time and resumed searching for firewood, half-laughing at the strange thoughts that crowded into my mind and enchanted me. I remembered the Swede's comment about moving on the next day, and I was just thinking that I completely agreed with him when I turned around sharply and saw the person I was thinking about standing right in front of me. He was really close. The noise of the storm had masked his approach.
“You’ve been gone so long,” he shouted above the wind, “I thought something must have happened to you.”
“You’ve been gone for so long,” he yelled over the wind, “I thought something must have happened to you.”
But there was that in his tone, and a certain look in his face as well, that conveyed to me more than his usual words, and in a flash I understood the real reason for his coming. It was because the spell of the place had entered his soul too, and he did not like being alone.
But there was something in his voice, and a particular look on his face, that told me more than his usual words, and in an instant I realized the real reason for his visit. It was because the magic of the place had touched his soul as well, and he didn’t like being alone.
“River still rising,” he cried, pointing to the flood in the moonlight, “and the wind’s simply awful.”
“River's still rising,” he shouted, pointing to the flood in the moonlight, “and the wind is just crazy.”
He always said the same things, but it was the cry for companionship that gave the real importance to his words.
He always said the same things, but it was the plea for companionship that gave real weight to his words.
“Lucky,” I cried back, “our tent’s in the hollow. I think it’ll hold all right.” I added something about the difficulty of finding wood, in order to explain my absence, but the wind caught my words and flung them across the river, so that he did not hear, but just looked at me through the branches, nodding his head.
“Lucky,” I called back, “our tent’s in the valley. I think it’ll be fine.” I mentioned something about how hard it was to find firewood to explain why I was gone, but the wind grabbed my words and tossed them across the river, so he didn’t hear me and just looked at me through the branches, nodding his head.
“Lucky if we get away without disaster!” he shouted, or words to that effect; and I remember feeling half angry with him for putting the thought into words, for it was exactly what I felt myself. There was disaster impending somewhere, and the sense of presentiment lay unpleasantly upon me.
“Lucky if we get away without disaster!” he shouted, or something like that; and I remember feeling a bit angry with him for saying what I was thinking, because it was exactly how I felt. There was disaster looming somewhere, and that sense of dread sat uncomfortably with me.
We went back to the fire and made a final blaze, poking it up with our feet. We took a last look round. But for the wind the heat would have been unpleasant. I put this thought into words, and I remember my friend’s reply struck me oddly: that he would rather have the heat, the ordinary July weather, than this “diabolical wind.”
We went back to the fire and made one last blaze, prodding it with our feet. We took one final look around. If it weren't for the wind, the heat would have been uncomfortable. I expressed this thought, and I remember my friend's response surprised me: he would rather deal with the heat, the typical July weather, than this “devilish wind.”
Everything was snug for the night; the canoe lying turned over beside the tent, with both yellow paddles beneath her; the provision sack hanging from a willow-stem, and the washed-up dishes removed to a safe distance from the fire, all ready for the morning meal.
Everything was cozy for the night; the canoe lay flipped over next to the tent, with both yellow paddles underneath it; the food bag hung from a willow branch, and the cleaned dishes were moved to a safe distance from the fire, all set for breakfast.
We smothered the embers of the fire with sand, and then turned in. The flap of the tent door was up, and I saw the branches and the stars and the white moonlight. The shaking willows and the heavy buffetings of the wind against our taut little house were the last things I remembered as sleep came down and covered all with its soft and delicious forgetfulness.
We put out the fire by covering the embers with sand, and then we went to bed. The tent door was open, and I could see the branches, the stars, and the bright moonlight. The rustling willows and the strong gusts of wind against our snug little shelter were the last things I remembered before sleep took over and wrapped everything in its gentle and sweet forgetfulness.
II.
Suddenly I found myself lying awake, peering from my sandy mattress through the door of the tent. I looked at my watch pinned against the canvas, and saw by the bright moonlight that it was past twelve o’clock—the threshold of a new day—and I had therefore slept a couple of hours. The Swede was asleep still beside me; the wind howled as before; something plucked at my heart and made me feel afraid. There was a sense of disturbance in my immediate neighborhood.
Suddenly, I found myself wide awake, looking through the door of the tent from my sandy mattress. I glanced at my watch pinned to the canvas and saw in the bright moonlight that it was past midnight—the start of a new day—and I had only slept for a couple of hours. The Swede was still asleep beside me; the wind howled as it had before; something tugged at my heart and made me feel scared. There was a sense of unease in my immediate surroundings.
I sat up quickly and looked out. The trees were swaying violently to and fro as the gusts smote them, but our little bit of green canvas lay snugly safe in the hollow, for the wind passed over it without meeting enough resistance to make it vicious. The feeling of disquietude did not pass, however, and I crawled quietly out of the tent to see if our belongings were safe. I moved carefully so as not to waken my companion. A curious excitement was on me.
I sat up quickly and looked outside. The trees were swaying wildly back and forth as the gusts hit them, but our small piece of green canvas was snug and safe in the hollow, as the wind passed over it without enough resistance to make it harsh. However, the feeling of unease didn’t go away, so I crawled quietly out of the tent to check if our stuff was okay. I moved carefully so I wouldn’t wake my friend. I felt a strange excitement.
I was half-way out, kneeling on all fours, when my eye first took in that the tops of the bushes opposite, with their moving tracery of leaves, made shapes against the sky. I sat back on my haunches and stared. It was incredible, surely, but there, opposite and slightly above me, were shapes of some indeterminate sort among the willows, and as the branches swayed in the wind they seemed to group themselves about these shapes, forming a series of monstrous outlines that shifted rapidly beneath the moon. Close, about fifty feet in front of me, I saw these things.
I was halfway out, kneeling on all fours, when I first noticed that the tops of the bushes across from me, with their shifting patterns of leaves, created shapes against the sky. I sat back on my heels and stared. It was amazing, for there, opposite and slightly above me, were shapes of some unclear kind among the willows, and as the branches swayed in the wind, they seemed to gather around these shapes, forming a series of monstrous outlines that moved quickly beneath the moon. I could see these things clearly, about fifty feet in front of me.
My first instinct was to waken my companion, that he too might see them, but something made me hesitate—the sudden realization, probably, that I should not welcome corroboration; and meanwhile I crouched there staring in amazement with smarting eyes. I was wide awake. I remember saying to myself that I was not dreaming.
My first instinct was to wake my friend so he could see them too, but something made me hesitate—probably the sudden realization that I didn’t want confirmation. Meanwhile, I crouched there, staring in amazement with stinging eyes. I was wide awake. I remember telling myself that I was not dreaming.
They first became properly visible, these huge figures, just within the tops of the bushes—immense, bronze-colored, moving, and wholly independent of the swaying of the branches. I saw them plainly and noted, now I came to examine them more calmly, that they were very much larger than human, and indeed that something in their appearance proclaimed them to be not human at all. Certainly they were not merely the moving tracery of the branches against the moonlight. They shifted independently. They rose upwards in a continuous stream from earth to sky, vanishing utterly as soon as they reached the dark of the sky. They were interlaced one with another, making a great column, and I saw their limbs and huge bodies melting in and out of each other, forming this serpentine line that bent and swayed and twisted spirally with the contortions of the wind-tossed trees. They were nude, fluid shapes, passing up the bushes, within the leaves almost—rising up in a living column into the heavens. Their faces I never could see. Unceasingly they poured upwards, swaying in great bending curves, with a hue of dull bronze upon their skins.
They became clearly visible, these massive figures, just above the tops of the bushes—huge, bronze-colored, moving, and completely separate from the swaying branches. I saw them clearly and, as I examined them more calmly, I realized they were much larger than humans, and that something about their appearance made it clear they were not human at all. They definitely weren't just the moving shadows of the branches against the moonlight. They shifted on their own. They rose in an unbroken stream from the ground to the sky, completely disappearing as soon as they reached the dark part of the sky. They intertwined with each other, forming a large column, and I watched as their limbs and massive bodies melted into and out of one another, creating this serpentine line that bent and swayed and twisted in spirals with the movements of the wind-tossed trees. They were nude, fluid shapes, moving up through the bushes, within the leaves almost—rising up in a living column into the heavens. I could never see their faces. They constantly poured upward, swaying in wide, bending curves, with a dull bronze hue on their skin.
I stared, trying to force every atom of vision from my eyes. For a long time I thought they must every moment disappear and resolve themselves into the movements of the branches and prove to be an optical illusion. I searched everywhere for a proof of reality, when all the while I understood quite well that the standard of reality had changed. For the longer I looked the more certain I became that these figures were real and living, though perhaps not according to the standards that the camera and the biologist would insist upon.
I stared, trying to push every bit of sight from my eyes. For a long time, I thought they had to disappear at any moment and turn into the movements of the branches, proving to be just an optical illusion. I searched everywhere for proof of reality, even though I completely understood that the definition of reality had changed. The longer I looked, the more I was convinced that these figures were real and alive, even if not in the way that a camera or a biologist would want to define.
Far from feeling fear, I was possessed with a sense of awe and wonder such as I have never known. I seemed to be gazing at the personified elemental forces of this haunted and primeval region. Our intrusion had stirred the powers of the place into activity. It was we who were the cause of the disturbance, and my brain filled to bursting with stories and legends of the spirits and deities of places that have been acknowledged and worshipped by men in all ages of the world’s history. But, before I could arrive at any possible explanation, something impelled me to go farther out, and I crept forward on the sand and stood upright. I felt the ground still warm under my bare feet; the wind tore at my hair and face; and the sound of the river burst upon my ears with a sudden roar. These things, I knew, were real, and proved that my senses were acting normally. Yet the figures still rose from earth to heaven, silent, majestically, in a great spiral of grace and strength that overwhelmed me at length with a genuine deep emotion of worship. I felt that I must fall down and worship—absolutely worship.
Far from being afraid, I was filled with a sense of awe and wonder like I’ve never experienced before. It felt like I was looking at the personified elemental forces of this haunted and ancient area. Our presence had awakened the powers of the place. We were the source of the disturbance, and my mind overflowed with stories and legends about the spirits and deities worshipped by people throughout history. But before I could come up with any explanation, something urged me to venture further out, and I crept forward on the sand and stood up. I could feel the ground still warm beneath my bare feet; the wind whipped through my hair and across my face; and the sound of the river suddenly roared in my ears. I knew these things were real, proving that my senses were working normally. Yet the figures continued to rise from earth to sky, silent and majestic, in a graceful and powerful spiral that eventually overwhelmed me with a genuine feeling of worship. I felt that I had to kneel down and worship—totally worship.
Perhaps in another minute I might have done so, when a gust of wind swept against me with such force that it blew me sideways, and I nearly stumbled and fell. It seemed to shake the dream violently out of me. At least it gave me another point of view somehow. The figures still remained, still ascended into heaven from the heart of the night, but my reason at last began to assert itself. It must be a subjective experience, I argued—none the less real for that, but still subjective. The moonlight and the branches combined to work out these pictures upon the mirror of my imagination, and for some reason I projected them outwards and made them appear objective. I knew this must be the case, of course. I took courage, and began to move forward across the open patches of sand. By Jove, though, was it all hallucination? Was it merely subjective? Did not my reason argue in the old futile way from the little standard of the known?
Maybe in another minute I would have done so when a strong gust of wind hit me so hard it knocked me sideways, and I almost stumbled and fell. It seemed to violently shake the dream out of me. At least it gave me a different perspective somehow. The figures were still there, still rising into the sky from the depths of the night, but my mind finally started to take over. It had to be a subjective experience, I reasoned—still real for that reason, but still subjective. The moonlight and the branches combined to create these images in my imagination, and for some reason, I projected them outward, making them seem objective. I knew this had to be true, of course. I gathered my courage and began to move forward across the open patches of sand. But seriously, was it all just a hallucination? Was it merely subjective? Wasn't my reasoning trying to argue in that old, pointless way from the little standard of what I knew?
I only know that great column of figures ascended darkly into the sky for what seemed a very long period of time, and with a very complete measure of reality as most men are accustomed to gauge reality. Then suddenly they were gone!
I only know that huge column of numbers rose darkly into the sky for what felt like a long time, with a sense of reality that most people are used to measuring. Then, just like that, they were gone!
And, once they were gone and the immediate wonder of their great presence had passed, fear came down upon me with a cold rush. The esoteric meaning of this lonely and haunted region suddenly flamed up within me, and I began to tremble dreadfully. I took a quick look round—a look of horror that came near to panic—calculating vainly ways of escape; and then, realizing how helpless I was to achieve anything really effective, I crept back silently into the tent and lay down again upon my sandy mattress, first lowering the door-curtain to shut out the sight of the willows in the moonlight, and then burying my head as deeply as possible beneath the blankets to deaden the sound of the terrifying wind.
And once they were gone and the initial awe of their presence faded, fear hit me like a cold wave. The strange meaning of this lonely and eerie place suddenly ignited in my mind, and I started to tremble uncontrollably. I glanced around in horror, almost panicking, frantically thinking of ways to escape; then, realizing how powerless I was to do anything effective, I quietly crept back into the tent and lay down again on my sandy mattress, first lowering the door-curtain to block out the sight of the willows in the moonlight, and then burying my head as deep as possible under the blankets to muffle the sound of the frightening wind.
III.
As though further to convince me that I had not been dreaming, I remember that it was a long time before I fell again into a troubled and restless sleep; and even then only the upper crust of me slept, and underneath there was something that never quite lost consciousness, but lay alert and on the watch.
As if to further prove to me that I wasn't dreaming, I recall it took a long time before I fell back into a fitful and uneasy sleep; and even then, only the surface of me was asleep, while underneath there was something that never fully lost awareness, remaining alert and on guard.
But this second time I jumped up with a genuine start of terror. It was neither the wind nor the river that woke me, but the slow approach of something that caused the sleeping portion of me to grow smaller and smaller till at last it vanished altogether, and I found myself sitting bolt upright—listening.
But this second time I jumped up with a real jolt of fear. It wasn’t the wind or the river that woke me, but the slow approach of something that made the sleepy part of me shrink smaller and smaller until it disappeared completely, and I found myself sitting up straight—listening.
Outside there was a sound of multitudinous little patterings. They had been coming, I was aware, for a long time, and in my sleep they had first become audible. I sat there nervously wide awake as though I had not slept at all. It seemed to me that my breathing came with difficulty, and that there was a great weight upon the surface of my body. In spite of the hot night, I felt clammy with cold and shivered. Something surely was pressing steadily against the sides of the tent and weighing down upon it from above. Was it the body of the wind? Was this the pattering rain, the dripping of the leaves? The spray blown from the river by the wind and gathering in big drops? I thought quickly of a dozen things.
Outside, I heard the sound of countless little patterings. I knew they had been happening for a while, and I first noticed them in my sleep. I was sitting there, wide awake and feeling nervous, as if I hadn’t slept at all. It felt like my breathing was labored, and there was a heavy weight on the surface of my body. Despite the hot night, I felt cold and clammy, and I shivered. Something definitely seemed to be pressing against the sides of the tent and weighing it down from above. Was it the force of the wind? Was it the pattering rain or the dripping leaves? Perhaps it was the spray from the river, blown by the wind and pooling into large drops? I quickly thought of a dozen possibilities.
Then suddenly the explanation leaped into my mind: a bough from the poplar, the only large tree on the island, had fallen with the wind. Still half caught by the other branches, it would fall with the next gust and crush us, and meanwhile its leaves brushed and tapped upon the tight canvas surface of the tent. I raised a loose flap and rushed out, calling to the Swede to follow.
Then suddenly, it hit me: a branch from the poplar, the only big tree on the island, had fallen with the wind. Still half caught by the other branches, it would fall with the next gust and crush us, and in the meantime, its leaves were brushing and tapping against the tight canvas surface of the tent. I lifted a loose flap and rushed out, calling for the Swede to follow.
But when I got out and stood upright I saw that the tent was free. There was no hanging bough; there was no rain or spray; nothing approached.
But when I got out and stood up, I saw that the tent was clear. There were no hanging branches; there was no rain or mist; nothing was coming near.
A cold, grey light filtered down through the bushes and lay on the faintly gleaming sand. Stars still crowded the sky directly overhead, and the wind howled magnificently, but the fire no longer gave out any glow, and I saw the east reddening in streaks through the trees. Several hours must have passed since I stood there before watching the ascending figures, and the memory of it now came back to me horribly, like an evil dream. Oh, how tired it made me feel, that ceaseless raging wind! Yet, though the deep lassitude of a sleepless night was on me, my nerves were tingling with the activity of an equally tireless apprehension, and all idea of repose was out of the question. The river I saw had risen further. Its thunder filled the air, and a fine spray made itself felt through my thin sleeping shirt.
A cold, gray light filtered through the bushes and rested on the faintly shining sand. Stars still filled the sky above me, and the wind howled powerfully, but the fire no longer glowed, and I noticed the east turning red in patches through the trees. Several hours must have passed since I stood there watching the figures ascend, and the memory of it now returned to me painfully, like a bad dream. Oh, how exhausted it made me feel, that constant raging wind! Yet, even though I was deeply tired from a sleepless night, my nerves were buzzing with the energy of an equally relentless anxiety, and any thought of rest was out of the question. The river I saw had risen even more. Its roar filled the air, and a fine spray could be felt through my thin sleeping shirt.
Yet nowhere did I discover the slightest evidence of anything to cause alarm. This deep, prolonged disturbance in my heart remained wholly unaccounted for.
Yet I found no signs of anything to worry about. This deep, lasting unease in my heart remained completely unexplained.
My companion had not stirred when I called him, and there was no need to waken him now. I looked about me carefully, noting everything; the turned-over canoe; the yellow paddles—two of them, I’m certain; the provision sack and the extra lantern hanging together from the tree; and, crowding everywhere about me, enveloping all, the willows, those endless, shaking willows. A bird uttered its morning cry, and a string of duck passed with whirring flight overhead in the twilight. The sand whirled, dry and stinging, about my bare feet in the wind.
My companion hadn't moved when I called him, and there was no reason to wake him now. I looked around carefully, taking everything in: the overturned canoe; the yellow paddles—I'm sure there were two; the supply bag and the extra lantern hanging together from the tree; and everywhere I looked, the willows, those endless, swaying willows. A bird sang its morning call, and a group of ducks flew overhead in the dim light. The sand whirled around my bare feet in the wind, dry and stinging.
I walked round the tent and then went out a little way into the bush, so that I could see across the river to the farther landscape, and the same profound yet indefinable emotion of distress seized upon me again as I saw the interminable sea of bushes stretching to the horizon, looking ghostly and unreal in the wan light of dawn. I walked softly here and there, still puzzling over that odd sound of infinite pattering, and of that pressure upon the tent that had wakened me. It must have been the wind, I reflected—the wind bearing upon the loose, hot sand, driving the dry particles smartly against the taut canvas—the wind dropping heavily upon our fragile roof.
I walked around the tent and then went a short distance into the bushes so I could see across the river to the distant landscape. The same deep yet hard-to-describe feeling of distress hit me again as I looked at the endless sea of bushes stretching to the horizon, appearing ghostly and unreal in the soft light of dawn. I moved quietly here and there, still wondering about that strange sound of endless pattering and the pressure on the tent that had woken me up. It had to be the wind, I thought—the wind pressing against the loose, hot sand, sending the dry particles forcefully against the taut canvas—the wind falling heavily on our fragile roof.
Yet all the time my nervousness and malaise increased appreciably.
Yet all the while, my anxiety and unease grew significantly.
I crossed over to the farther shore and noted how the coast-line had altered in the night, and what masses of sand the river had torn away. I dipped my hands and feet into the cool current, and bathed my forehead. Already there was a glow of sunrise in the sky and the exquisite freshness of coming day. On my way back I passed purposely beneath the very bushes where I had seen the column of figures rising into the air, and midway among the clumps I suddenly found myself overtaken by a sense of vast terror. From the shadows a large figure went swiftly by. Someone passed me, as sure as ever man did….
I walked over to the far shore and noticed how the coastline had changed overnight, and how much sand the river had washed away. I dipped my hands and feet into the cool water and splashed my forehead. There was already a hint of sunrise in the sky and the refreshing feeling of the new day. On my way back, I intentionally walked underneath the very bushes where I had seen the group of figures rise into the air, and suddenly I was hit by a wave of overwhelming fear. A large figure rushed past me from the shadows. Someone went by me, just like any other man would.
It was a great staggering blow from the wind that helped me forward again, and once out in the more open space, the sense of terror diminished strangely. The winds were about and walking, I remember saying to myself, for the winds often move like great presences under the trees. And altogether the fear that hovered about me was such an unknown and immense kind of fear, so unlike anything I had ever felt before, that it woke a sense of awe and wonder in me that did much to counteract its worst effects; and when I reached a high point in the middle of the island from which I could see the wide stretch of river, crimson in the sunrise, the whole magical beauty of it all was so overpowering that a sort of wild yearning woke in me and almost brought a cry up into the throat.
It was a powerful gust of wind that pushed me forward again, and once I was in the more open space, the feeling of terror strangely faded. The winds were swirling around me, and I remember thinking that they often moved like great forces beneath the trees. Overall, the fear surrounding me was a completely new and immense type of fear, so different from anything I had ever experienced before, that it stirred a sense of awe and wonder within me that helped lessen its worst impacts; and when I reached a high point in the middle of the island where I could see the wide stretch of river, glowing red in the sunrise, the whole magical beauty of it overwhelmed me, igniting a wild yearning that almost made me cry out.
But this cry found no expression, for as my eyes wandered from the plain beyond to the island round me and noted our little tent half hidden among the willows, a dreadful discovery leaped out at me, compared to which my terror of the walking winds seemed as nothing at all.
But this cry found no voice, for as my eyes drifted from the landscape beyond to the island around me and took in our little tent partially concealed among the willows, a horrifying realization struck me, which made my fear of the rustling winds feel insignificant.
For a change, I thought, had somehow come about in the arrangement of the landscape. It was not that my point of vantage gave me a different view, but that an alteration had apparently been effected in the relation of the tent to the willows, and of the willows to the tent. Surely the bushes now crowded much closer—unnecessarily, unpleasantly close. They had moved nearer.
For a change, I thought, something had shifted in the layout of the landscape. It wasn't that my viewpoint provided a different perspective, but that there seemed to be a change in the position of the tent in relation to the willows, and the willows in relation to the tent. The bushes now felt like they were much closer—unnecessarily, unpleasantly close. They had moved nearer.
Creeping with silent feet over the shifting sands, drawing imperceptibly nearer by soft, unhurried movements, the willows had come closer during the night. But had the wind moved them, or had they moved of themselves? I recalled the sound of infinite small patterings and the pressure upon the tent and upon my own heart that caused me to wake in terror. I swayed for a moment in the wind like a tree, finding it hard to keep my upright position on the sandy hillock. There was a suggestion here of personal agency, of deliberate intention, of aggressive hostility, and it terrified me into a sort of rigidity.
Creeping quietly across the shifting sands, getting closer with slow, effortless movements, the willows had come nearer during the night. But had the wind pushed them, or had they moved on their own? I remembered the sound of countless little patterings and the pressure against the tent and on my own heart that jolted me awake in fear. I swayed for a moment in the wind like a tree, struggling to keep my balance on the sandy mound. There was something here suggesting personal will, intentionality, and a kind of aggression, and it scared me into a sort of paralysis.
Then the reaction followed quickly. The idea was so bizarre, so absurd, that I felt inclined to laugh. But the laughter came no more readily than the cry, for the knowledge that my mind was so receptive to such dangerous imaginings brought the additional terror that it was through our minds and not through our physical bodies that the attack would come, and was coming.
Then the reaction came fast. The idea was so strange, so ridiculous, that I felt like laughing. But the laughter came as slowly as the scream, because realizing that my mind was so open to such dangerous thoughts added the fear that the attack would come through our minds and not our physical bodies, and that it was already happening.
The wind buffeted me about, and, very quickly it seemed, the sun came up over the horizon, for it was after four o’clock, and I must have stood on that little pinnacle of sand longer than I knew, afraid to come down to close quarters with the willows. I returned quietly, creepily, to the tent, first taking another exhaustive look round and—yes, I confess it—making a few measurements. I paced out on the warm sand the distances between the willows and the tent, making a note of the shortest distance particularly.
The wind tossed me around, and before I knew it, the sun was rising over the horizon since it was past four o’clock. I must have been standing on that little sand peak longer than I realized, too hesitant to get closer to the willows. I quietly and cautiously made my way back to the tent, first taking one last thorough look around and—yes, I admit it—taking a few measurements. I walked out on the warm sand, measuring the distances between the willows and the tent, especially noting the shortest distance.
I crawled stealthily into my blankets. My companion, to all appearances, still slept soundly, and I was glad that this was so. Provided my experiences were not corroborated, I could find strength somehow to deny them, perhaps. With the daylight I could persuade myself that it was all a subjective hallucination, a fantasy of the night, a projection of the excited imagination.
I quietly crawled into my blankets. My companion seemed to be sleeping soundly, which I was relieved about. As long as my experiences weren’t confirmed, I could somehow find the strength to deny them. Maybe with the daylight, I could convince myself that it was all just a hallucination, a nighttime fantasy, a projection of my overactive imagination.
Nothing further came in to disturb me, and I fell asleep almost at once, utterly exhausted, yet still in dread of hearing again that weird sound of multitudinous pattering, or of feeling the pressure upon my heart that had made it difficult to breathe.
Nothing else interrupted me, and I fell asleep almost immediately, completely worn out, yet still fearful of hearing that strange sound of countless footsteps again, or of feeling the pressure on my chest that had made it hard to breathe.
IV.
The sun was high in the heavens when my companion woke me from a heavy sleep and announced that the porridge was cooked and there was just time to bathe. The grateful smell of frizzling bacon entered the tent door.
The sun was high in the sky when my friend woke me from a deep sleep and said that the porridge was ready and there was just enough time to take a bath. The mouthwatering smell of sizzling bacon wafted into the tent.
“River still rising,” he said, “and several islands out in mid-stream have disappeared altogether. Our own island’s much smaller.”
“River's still rising,” he said, “and several islands out in the middle have totally disappeared. Our own island’s way smaller.”
“Any wood left?” I asked sleepily.
"Is there any wood left?" I asked, feeling drowsy.
“The wood and the island will finish tomorrow in a dead heat,” he laughed, “but there’s enough to last us till then.”
“The wood and the island will finish tomorrow in a tie,” he laughed, “but there’s enough to last us until then.”
I plunged in from the point of the island, which had indeed altered a lot in size and shape during the night, and was swept down in a moment to the landing-place opposite the tent. The water was icy, and the banks flew by like the country from an express train. Bathing under such conditions was an exhilarating operation, and the terror of the night seemed cleansed out of me by a process of evaporation in the brain. The sun was blazing hot; not a cloud showed itself anywhere; the wind, however, had not abated one little jot.
I jumped in from the tip of the island, which had really changed a lot in size and shape overnight, and was quickly swept down to the landing spot across from the tent. The water was freezing, and the banks rushed by like the countryside from a fast train. Swimming in these conditions was an exciting experience, and the fear from the night seemed to evaporate from my mind. The sun was scorching; there wasn't a cloud in sight; however, the wind hadn’t let up at all.
Quite suddenly then the implied meaning of the Swede’s words flashed across me, showing that he no longer wished to leave post-haste, and had changed his mind. “Enough to last till tomorrow”—he assumed we should stay on the island another night. It struck me as odd. The night before he was so positive the other way. How had the change come about?
Quite suddenly, the implied meaning of the Swede’s words hit me, revealing that he no longer wanted to leave right away and had changed his mind. “Enough to last until tomorrow”—he figured we should stay on the island another night. It seemed strange to me. The night before, he was so sure about the opposite. How had that change happened?
Great crumblings of the banks occurred at breakfast, with heavy splashings and clouds of spray which the wind brought into our frying-pan, and my fellow-traveler talked incessantly about the difficulty the Vienna-Pesth steamers must have to find the channel in flood. But the state of his mind interested and impressed me far more than the state of the river or the difficulties of the steamers. He had changed somehow since the evening before. His manner was different—a trifle excited, a trifle shy, with a sort of suspicion about his voice and gestures. I hardly know how to describe it now in cold blood, but at the time I remember being quite certain of one thing—that he had become frightened?
Great chunks of the banks gave way at breakfast, splashing heavily and sending clouds of spray into our frying pan, while my travel buddy kept talking non-stop about how hard the Vienna-Pesth steamers must have it finding the channel in flood. But I was way more intrigued and affected by his state of mind than by the condition of the river or the troubles the steamers faced. He had somehow changed since the night before. His demeanor was different—slightly more excited, a bit shy, with a hint of suspicion in his voice and gestures. I can’t quite put it into words now, but back then, I was certain of one thing—he had become scared.
He ate very little breakfast, and for once omitted to smoke his pipe. He had the map spread open beside him, and kept studying its markings.
He had a small breakfast and, for once, didn't smoke his pipe. He had the map spread out next to him and kept looking at its markings.
“We’d better get off sharp in an hour,” I said presently, feeling for an opening that must bring him indirectly to a partial confession at any rate. And his answer puzzled me uncomfortably: “Rather! If they’ll let us.”
“We should leave in an hour,” I said, looking for a way to nudge him toward at least a partial confession. His response threw me off: “Definitely! If they'll allow us.”
“Who’ll let us? The elements?” I asked quickly, with affected indifference.
"Who’s going to let us? The elements?" I asked quickly, pretending to be indifferent.
“The powers of this awful place, whoever they are,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the map. “The gods are here, if they are anywhere at all in the world.”
“The forces of this frightening place, whoever they are,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the map. “The gods are here, if they exist anywhere in the world.”
“The elements are always the true immortals,” I replied, laughing as naturally as I could manage, yet knowing quite well that my face reflected my true feelings when he looked up gravely at me and spoke across the smoke:
“The elements are always the real immortals,” I replied, laughing as casually as I could, but I knew that my face showed my true feelings when he looked up seriously at me and spoke through the smoke:
“We shall be fortunate if we get away without further disaster.”
“We'll be lucky if we get away without any more trouble.”
This was exactly what I had dreaded, and I screwed myself up to the point of the direct question. It was like agreeing to allow the dentist to extract the tooth; it had to come anyhow in the long run, and the rest was all pretence.
This was exactly what I had feared, and I braced myself for the direct question. It was like agreeing to let the dentist pull the tooth; it had to happen eventually, and everything else was just pretending.
“Further disaster! Why, what’s happened?”
“Another disaster! What happened?”
“For one thing—the steering paddle’s gone,” he said quietly.
“For one thing—the steering paddle's missing,” he said quietly.
“The steering paddle gone!” I repeated, greatly excited, for this was our rudder, and the Danube in flood without a rudder was suicide. “But what—”
“The steering paddle is gone!” I said again, feeling really excited because this was our rudder, and being on a flooded Danube without a rudder was suicide. “But what—”
“And there’s a tear in the bottom of the canoe,” he added, with a genuine little tremor in his voice.
“And there’s a tear in the bottom of the canoe,” he added, with a real little quaver in his voice.
I continued staring at him, able only to repeat the words in his face somewhat foolishly. There, in the heat of the sun, and on this burning sand, I was aware of a freezing atmosphere descending round us. I got up to follow him, for he merely nodded his head gravely and led the way towards the tent a few yards on the other side of the fireplace. The canoe still lay there as I had last seen her in the night, ribs uppermost, the paddles, or rather, the paddle, on the sand beside her.
I kept staring at him, only able to repeat the words on his face a bit foolishly. There, in the blazing sun and on this scorching sand, I felt a chill in the air surrounding us. I stood up to follow him, as he just nodded seriously and headed toward the tent a few yards past the fireplace. The canoe was still there just as I had seen it in the night, ribs facing up, the paddles, or rather, the paddle, resting on the sand next to it.
“There’s only one,” he said, stooping to pick it up. “And here’s the rent in the base-board.”
“There's only one,” he said, bending down to pick it up. “And here's the rent in the baseboard.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I had clearly noticed two paddles a few hours before, but a second impulse made me think better of it, and I said nothing. I approached to see.
It was right there on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I had definitely noticed two paddles a few hours earlier, but another thought stopped me, and I said nothing. I went closer to check it out.
There was a long, finely made tear in the bottom of the canoe where a little slither of wood had been neatly taken clean out; it looked as if the tooth of a sharp rock or snag had eaten down her length, and investigation showed that the hole went through. Had we launched out in her without observing it we must inevitably have foundered. At first the water would have made the wood swell so as to close the hole, but once out in mid-stream the water must have poured in, and the canoe, never more than two inches above the surface, would have filled and sunk very rapidly.
There was a long, well-made tear in the bottom of the canoe where a small piece of wood had been cleanly removed; it looked like the tooth of a sharp rock or snag had worn down along its length, and a closer look showed that the hole went all the way through. If we had pushed off in it without noticing, we definitely would have sunk. At first, the water would have made the wood swell enough to close the hole, but once we were out in mid-stream, the water would have poured in, and the canoe, never more than two inches above the surface, would have filled up and sunk very quickly.
“There, you see an attempt to prepare a victim for the sacrifice,” I heard him saying, more to himself than to me, “two victims rather,” he added as he bent over and ran his fingers along the slit.
“There, you see an effort to get a victim ready for the sacrifice,” I heard him say, more to himself than to me. “Two victims actually,” he added as he leaned down and ran his fingers along the slit.
I began to whistle—a thing I always do unconsciously when utterly nonplussed—and purposely paid no attention to his words. I was determined to consider them foolish.
I started to whistle—something I do without thinking when I'm completely thrown off—and intentionally ignored what he was saying. I was set on thinking it was nonsense.
“It wasn’t there last night,” he said presently, straightening up from his examination and looking anywhere but at me.
“It wasn’t there last night,” he said after a moment, straightening up from his examination and looking anywhere except at me.
“We must have scratched her in landing, of course,” I stopped whistling to say. “The stones are very sharp.”
“We must have scratched her when we landed, of course,” I stopped whistling to say. “The stones are really sharp.”
I stopped abruptly, for at that moment he turned round and met my eye squarely. I knew just as well as he did how impossible my explanation was. There were no stones, to begin with.
I stopped suddenly because at that moment he turned around and looked me in the eye. I knew just as well as he did how ridiculous my explanation was. There were no stones, to start with.
“And then there’s this to explain too,” he added quietly, handing me the paddle and pointing to the blade.
“And then there’s this to explain too,” he said quietly, handing me the paddle and pointing to the blade.
A new and curious emotion spread freezingly over me as I took and examined it. The blade was scraped down all over, beautifully scraped, as though someone had sand-papered it with care, making it so thin that the first vigorous stroke must have snapped it off at the elbow.
A new and weird feeling washed over me as I took it and looked it over. The blade was worn down completely, beautifully worn down, as if someone had carefully sanded it, making it so thin that the first strong movement would have broken it at the elbow.
“One of us walked in his sleep and did this thing,” I said feebly, “or—or it has been filed by the constant stream of sand particles blown against it by the wind, perhaps.”
“One of us walked in his sleep and did this thing,” I said weakly, “or—or it has been covered by the constant stream of sand particles blown against it by the wind, maybe.”
“Ah,” said the Swede, turning away, laughing a little, “you can explain everything.”
“Ah,” said the Swede, turning away and laughing a bit, “you can explain everything.”
“The same wind that caught the steering paddle and flung it so near the bank that it fell in with the next lump that crumbled,” I called out after him, absolutely determined to find an explanation for everything he showed me.
“The same wind that caught the steering paddle and flung it so close to the bank that it fell in with the next lump that crumbled,” I called out after him, completely determined to find an explanation for everything he showed me.
“I see,” he shouted back, turning his head to look at me before disappearing among the willow bushes.
“I get it,” he shouted back, turning his head to glance at me before vanishing among the willow bushes.
Once alone with these perplexing evidences of personal agency, I think my first thoughts took the form of “One of us must have done this thing, and it certainly was not I.” But my second thought decided how impossible it was to suppose, under all the circumstances, that either of us had done it. That my companion, the trusted friend of a dozen similar expeditions, could have knowingly had a hand in it, was a suggestion not to be entertained for a moment. Equally absurd seemed the explanation that this imperturbable and densely practical nature had suddenly become insane and was busied with insane purposes.
Once I was alone with these confusing signs of personal responsibility, my first thought was, “One of us must have done this, and it definitely wasn’t me.” But my second thought made me realize how unlikely it was, given everything, that either of us had actually done it. The idea that my companion, my trusted friend from many similar adventures, could have willingly played a role in this was something I couldn’t even consider for a second. The explanation that this calm and very practical person had suddenly lost their mind and was preoccupied with crazy ideas seemed just as ridiculous.
Yet the fact remained that what disturbed me most, and kept my fear actively alive even in this blaze of sunshine and wild beauty, was the clear certainty that some curious alteration had come about in his mind—that he was nervous, timid, suspicious, aware of goings on he did not speak about, watching a series of secret and hitherto unmentionable events—waiting, in a word, for a climax that he expected, and, I thought, expected very soon. This grew up in my mind intuitively—I hardly knew how.
Yet the reality was that what bothered me the most, and kept my fear alive even in this bright sunshine and wild beauty, was the undeniable sense that something had changed in his mind—that he was anxious, hesitant, suspicious, aware of things happening that he didn’t talk about, observing a series of secret and previously unmentioned events—waiting, in short, for a climax he anticipated, and I thought, expected very soon. This developed in my mind intuitively—I hardly knew how.
I made a hurried examination of the tent and its surroundings, but the measurements of the night remained the same. There were deep hollows formed in the sand I now noticed for the first time, basin-shaped and of various depths and sizes, varying from that of a tea-cup to a large bowl. The wind, no doubt, was responsible for these miniature craters, just as it was for lifting the paddle and tossing it towards the water. The rent in the canoe was the only thing that seemed quite inexplicable; and, after all, it was conceivable that a sharp point had caught it when we landed. The examination I made of the shore did not assist this theory, but all the same I clung to it with that diminishing portion of my intelligence which I called my “reason.” An explanation of some kind was an absolute necessity, just as some working explanation of the universe is necessary—however absurd—to the happiness of every individual who seeks to do his duty in the world and face the problems of life. The simile seemed to me at the time an exact parallel.
I quickly checked out the tent and its surroundings, but the details from the night stayed the same. I noticed for the first time that there were deep hollows shaped like basins in the sand, varying in depth and size, from the size of a tea cup to that of a large bowl. The wind must have caused these mini craters, just like it lifted the paddle and tossed it towards the water. The tear in the canoe was the only thing that seemed truly puzzling; still, it was possible that a sharp point had snagged it when we landed. My inspection of the shore didn’t support this theory, but I clung to it with what little intelligence I had left, which I referred to as my “reason.” I needed some kind of explanation, just as people need some working explanation of the universe—no matter how ridiculous—for their own happiness while trying to do their duty in the world and tackle life’s challenges. At the time, this comparison seemed spot on to me.
I at once set the pitch melting, and presently the Swede joined me at the work, though under the best conditions in the world the canoe could not be safe for traveling till the following day. I drew his attention casually to the hollows in the sand.
I quickly started melting the pitch, and soon the Swede joined me in the task, even though, under the best circumstances, the canoe wouldn't be safe for travel until the next day. I casually pointed out the depressions in the sand to him.
“Yes,” he said, “I know. They’re all over the island. But you can explain them, no doubt!”
“Yes,” he said, “I know. They’re everywhere on the island. But you can definitely explain them!”
“Wind, of course,” I answered without hesitation. “Have you never watched those little whirlwinds in the street that twist and twirl everything into a circle? This sand’s loose enough to yield, that’s all.”
“Wind, of course,” I replied without thinking. “Haven't you ever seen those little whirlwinds in the street that spin and twist everything around? This sand is loose enough to move, that's all.”
He made no reply, and we worked on in silence for a bit. I watched him surreptitiously all the time, and I had an idea he was watching me. He seemed, too, to be always listening attentively to something I could not hear, or perhaps for something that he expected to hear, for he kept turning about and staring into the bushes, and up into the sky, and out across the water where it was visible through the openings among the willows. Sometimes he even put his hand to his ear and held it there for several minutes. He said nothing to me, however, about it, and I asked no questions. And meanwhile, as he mended that torn canoe with the skill and address of a red Indian, I was glad to notice his absorption in the work, for there was a vague dread in my heart that he would speak of the changed aspect of the willows. And, if he had noticed that, my imagination could no longer be held a sufficient explanation of it.
He didn’t reply, and we continued working in silence for a while. I kept watching him discreetly, and I had a feeling he was watching me too. He seemed to be constantly listening intently to something I couldn't hear, or maybe waiting for something he expected to hear, as he kept turning around and staring into the bushes, up at the sky, and across the water, which was visible through the gaps in the willows. Sometimes he even put his hand to his ear and stayed like that for several minutes. He didn’t say anything to me about it, and I didn’t ask any questions. Meanwhile, as he skillfully repaired that torn canoe like a Native American, I was relieved to see his focus on the task, because there was a vague fear in my heart that he might mention the changed appearance of the willows. And if he had noticed that, my imagination wouldn't be enough to explain it anymore.
At length, after a long pause, he began to talk.
At last, after a long pause, he started to talk.
“Queer thing,” he added in a hurried sort of voice, as though he wanted to say something and get it over. “Queer thing. I mean, about that otter last night.”
“Strange thing,” he added quickly, as if he needed to say something and move on. “Strange thing. I mean, about that otter last night.”
I had expected something so totally different that he caught me with surprise, and I looked up sharply.
I was expecting something completely different, so he took me by surprise, and I looked up quickly.
“Shows how lonely this place is. Otters are awfully shy things—”
“Shows how lonely this place is. Otters are really shy creatures—”
“I don’t mean that, of course,” he interrupted. “I mean—do you think—did you think it really was an otter?”
“I don’t actually mean that,” he interrupted. “What I mean is—do you think—did you really think it was an otter?”
“What else, in the name of Heaven, what else?”
“What else, for Heaven's sake, what else?”
“You know, I saw it before you did, and at first it seemed—so much bigger than an otter.”
“You know, I saw it before you did, and at first it seemed—so much bigger than an otter.”
“The sunset as you looked up-stream magnified it, or something,” I replied.
“The sunset as you looked upstream made it seem bigger, or something,” I replied.
He looked at me absently a moment, as though his mind were busy with other thoughts.
He glanced at me absentmindedly for a moment, as if he was distracted by other thoughts.
“It had such extraordinary yellow eyes,” he went on half to himself.
“It had such amazing yellow eyes,” he continued, mostly to himself.
“That was the sun too,” I laughed, a trifle boisterously. “I suppose you’ll wonder next if that fellow in the boat—”
“That was the sun too,” I laughed, a bit too loudly. “I guess you’ll be wondering next if that guy in the boat—”
I suddenly decided not to finish the sentence. He was in the act again of listening, turning his head to the wind, and something in the expression of his face made me halt. The subject dropped, and we went on with our caulking. Apparently he had not noticed my unfinished sentence. Five minutes later, however, he looked at me across the canoe, the smoking pitch in his hand, his face exceedingly grave.
I suddenly decided not to finish the sentence. He was again in the act of listening, turning his head to the wind, and something in the expression on his face made me stop. The subject was dropped, and we continued with our caulking. Apparently, he hadn’t noticed my unfinished sentence. Five minutes later, though, he looked at me across the canoe, the smoking pitch in his hand, his face very serious.
“I did rather wonder, if you want to know,” he said slowly, “what that thing in the boat was. I remember thinking at the time it was not a man. The whole business seemed to rise quite suddenly out of the water.”
“I did wonder, if you want to know,” he said slowly, “what that thing in the boat was. I remember thinking at the time it wasn’t a man. The whole situation seemed to come up quite suddenly out of the water.”
I laughed again boisterously in his face, but this time there was impatience, and a strain of anger too, in my feeling.
I laughed loudly in his face again, but this time I felt impatience and a hint of anger too.
“Look here now,” I cried, “this place is quite queer enough without going out of our way to imagine things! That boat was an ordinary boat, and the man in it was an ordinary man, and they were both going down-stream as fast as they could lick. And that otter was an otter, so don’t let’s play the fool about it!”
“Look, I said, this place is strange enough without trying to make things up! That boat was just a regular boat, and the guy in it was just an ordinary guy, and they were both going downstream as fast as they could. And that otter was an otter, so let’s not be foolish about it!”
He looked steadily at me with the same grave expression. He was not in the least annoyed. I took courage from his silence.
He looked at me steadily with the same serious expression. He wasn't annoyed at all. I felt encouraged by his silence.
“And, for Heaven’s sake,” I went on, “don’t keep pretending you hear things, because it only gives me the jumps, and there’s nothing to hear but the river and this cursed old thundering wind.”
“And, for heaven’s sake,” I continued, “don’t keep pretending you hear things, because it just creeps me out, and there’s nothing to hear but the river and this annoying old howling wind.”
“You fool!” he answered in a low, shocked voice, “you utter fool. That’s just the way all victims talk. As if you didn’t understand just as well as I do!” he sneered with scorn in his voice, and a sort of resignation. “The best thing you can do is to keep quiet and try to hold your mind as firm as possible. This feeble attempt at self-deception only makes the truth harder when you’re forced to meet it.”
“You fool!” he replied in a low, shocked voice, “you complete fool. That’s exactly how all victims talk. As if you didn’t understand just as well as I do!” he sneered with contempt in his voice, and a sense of resignation. “The best thing you can do is stay quiet and try to keep your mind as steady as possible. This weak attempt at self-deception only makes the truth harder to face when you have to confront it.”
My little effort was over, and I found nothing more to say, for I knew quite well his words were true, and that I was the fool, not he. Up to a certain stage in the adventure he kept ahead of me easily, and I think I felt annoyed to be out of it, to be thus proved less psychic, less sensitive than himself to these extraordinary happenings, and half ignorant all the time of what was going on under my very nose. He knew from the very beginning, apparently. But at the moment I wholly missed the point of his words about the necessity of there being a victim, and that we ourselves were destined to satisfy the want. I dropped all pretence thenceforward, but thenceforward likewise my fear increased steadily to the climax.
My little attempt was done, and I had nothing more to say, because I knew very well that his words were true, and that I was the fool, not he. Up to a certain point in the adventure, he easily stayed ahead of me, and I think I felt frustrated to be left out, to be shown as less perceptive, less aware than he was of these extraordinary events, and half clueless the entire time about what was happening right in front of me. He knew from the very start, it seemed. But at that moment, I completely missed the significance of his words about the need for there to be a victim, and that we ourselves were meant to fulfill that role. I dropped all pretense from then on, but from that point, my fear grew steadily until it reached its peak.
“But you’re quite right about one thing,” he added, before the subject passed, “and that is that we’re wiser not to talk about it, or even to think about it, because what one thinks finds expression in words, and what one says, happens.”
“But you’re absolutely right about one thing,” he added before the conversation moved on, “and that is that it’s better not to talk about it or even think about it, because what you think comes out in words, and what you say, happens.”
That afternoon, while the canoe dried and hardened, we spent trying to fish, testing the leak, collecting wood, and watching the enormous flood of rising water. Masses of driftwood swept near our shores sometimes, and we fished for them with long willow branches. The island grew perceptibly smaller as the banks were torn away with great gulps and splashes. The weather kept brilliantly fine till about four o’clock, and then for the first time for three days the wind showed signs of abating. Clouds began to gather in the south-west, spreading thence slowly over the sky.
That afternoon, while the canoe dried and set, we tried to fish, tested the leak, gathered wood, and watched the huge rush of rising water. Large amounts of driftwood occasionally floated close to our shores, and we fished for them with long willow branches. The island noticeably shrank as the banks were eroded with big gulps and splashes. The weather stayed wonderfully clear until around four o’clock, and then, for the first time in three days, the wind started to die down. Clouds began to form in the southwest, slowly spreading across the sky.
This lessening of the wind came as a great relief, for the incessant roaring, banging, and thundering had irritated our nerves. Yet the silence that came about five o’clock with its sudden cessation was in a manner quite as oppressive. The booming of the river had everything in its own way then; it filled the air with deep murmurs, more musical than the wind noises, but infinitely more monotonous. The wind held many notes, rising, falling always beating out some sort of great elemental tune; whereas the river’s song lay between three notes at most—dull pedal notes, that held a lugubrious quality foreign to the wind, and somehow seemed to me, in my then nervous state, to sound wonderfully well the music of doom.
The decrease in wind was a huge relief, since the constant roaring, banging, and thundering had frayed our nerves. However, the silence that settled around five o’clock with its sudden stop felt just as oppressive. The river's booming took over everything; it filled the air with deep murmurs, more melodic than the wind sounds but far more monotonous. The wind had many notes, constantly rising and falling, creating some sort of great elemental tune. In contrast, the river’s song hovered around just three notes at most—dull pedal notes that had a mournful quality absent in the wind, and somehow seemed to me, in my anxious state, to perfectly capture the music of doom.
It was extraordinary, too, how the withdrawal suddenly of bright sunlight took everything out of the landscape that made for cheerfulness; and since this particular landscape had already managed to convey the suggestion of something sinister, the change of course was all the more unwelcome and noticeable. For me, I know, the darkening outlook became distinctly more alarming, and I found myself more than once calculating how soon after sunset the full moon would get up in the east, and whether the gathering clouds would greatly interfere with her lighting of the little island.
It was amazing how the sudden disappearance of bright sunlight took away all the cheer from the landscape; and since this particular landscape already hinted at something ominous, the change was even more unwelcome and striking. For me, the darkening scene became increasingly concerning, and I caught myself several times figuring out how long it would be until the full moon rose in the east after sunset, and if the gathering clouds would significantly block her light shining on the little island.
With this general hush of the wind—though it still indulged in occasional brief gusts—the river seemed to me to grow blacker, the willows to stand more densely together. The latter, too, kept up a sort of independent movement of their own, rustling among themselves when no wind stirred, and shaking oddly from the roots upwards. When common objects in this way be come charged with the suggestion of horror, they stimulate the imagination far more than things of unusual appearance; and these bushes, crowding huddled about us, assumed for me in the darkness a bizarre grotesquerie of appearance that lent to them somehow the aspect of purposeful and living creatures. Their very ordinariness, I felt, masked what was malignant and hostile to us. The forces of the region drew nearer with the coming of night. They were focusing upon our island, and more particularly upon ourselves. For thus, somehow, in the terms of the imagination, did my really indescribable sensations in this extraordinary place present themselves.
With the general stillness of the wind—although it occasionally picked up in brief gusts—the river seemed to grow darker, and the willows appeared to cluster closer together. They also had a kind of independent movement, rustling among themselves even when there was no breeze, and shaking oddly from the roots upward. When ordinary things take on a sense of horror like this, they can trigger the imagination much more than unusual sights; and these bushes, huddled around us in the dark, transformed for me into a bizarre grotesqueness that somehow made them look like living, purposeful beings. Their very normalcy, I felt, hid something malignant and hostile toward us. The forces of the region were drawing closer as night fell. They were zeroing in on our island, and more specifically on us. Thus, in the realm of imagination, my truly indescribable feelings in this extraordinary place expressed themselves.
I had slept a good deal in the early afternoon, and had thus recovered somewhat from the exhaustion of a disturbed night, but this only served apparently to render me more susceptible than before to the obsessing spell of the haunting. I fought against it, laughing at my feelings as absurd and childish, with very obvious physiological explanations, yet, in spite of every effort, they gained in strength upon me so that I dreaded the night as a child lost in a forest must dread the approach of darkness.
I had taken a long nap in the early afternoon, which helped me recover a bit from the tiredness of a restless night, but this only seemed to make me more vulnerable to the overwhelming feelings of the haunting. I tried to resist it, seeing my emotions as silly and immature, with clear physical explanations, yet no matter how hard I tried, they became stronger, and I began to fear the night like a lost child in a forest fears the coming darkness.
The canoe we had carefully covered with a waterproof sheet during the day, and the one remaining paddle had been securely tied by the Swede to the base of a tree, lest the wind should rob us of that too. From five o’clock onwards I busied myself with the stew-pot and preparations for dinner, it being my turn to cook that night. We had potatoes, onions, bits of bacon fat to add flavor, and a general thick residue from former stews at the bottom of the pot; with black bread broken up into it the result was most excellent, and it was followed by a stew of plums with sugar and a brew of strong tea with dried milk. A good pile of wood lay close at hand, and the absence of wind made my duties easy. My companion sat lazily watching me, dividing his attentions between cleaning his pipe and giving useless advice—an admitted privilege of the off-duty man. He had been very quiet all the afternoon, engaged in re-caulking the canoe, strengthening the tent ropes, and fishing for driftwood while I slept. No more talk about undesirable things had passed between us, and I think his only remarks had to do with the gradual destruction of the island, which he declared was not fully a third smaller than when we first landed.
We had carefully covered the canoe with a waterproof sheet during the day, and the last remaining paddle was securely tied by the Swede to the base of a tree, so the wind wouldn’t steal that too. From five o’clock onward, I kept myself busy with the stew pot and getting dinner ready, since it was my turn to cook that night. We had potatoes, onions, some bits of bacon fat for flavor, and a thick residue from previous stews at the bottom of the pot; mixed with broken black bread, the result was excellent, followed by a stew of plums with sugar and a strong tea with dried milk. A nice pile of wood sat nearby, and the lack of wind made my job easier. My companion lounged, watching me, splitting his attention between cleaning his pipe and giving unnecessary advice—an acknowledged perk of being off-duty. He had been very quiet all afternoon, busy recaulking the canoe, reinforcing the tent ropes, and looking for driftwood while I slept. We hadn’t talked about unpleasant things anymore, and I think his only comments were about the gradual destruction of the island, which he said was now less than a third of its size when we first landed.
The pot had just begun to bubble when I heard his voice calling to me from the bank, where he had wandered away without my noticing. I ran up.
The pot had just started to bubble when I heard him calling my name from the bank, where he had wandered off without me realizing. I ran over.
“Come and listen,” he said, “and see what you make of it.” He held his hand cupwise to his ear, as so often before.
“Come and listen,” he said, “and see what you think of it.” He cupped his hand to his ear, just like he had done many times before.
“Now do you hear anything?” he asked, watching me curiously.
Do you hear anything now? he asked, watching me closely.
We stood there, listening attentively together. At first I heard only the deep note of the water and the hissings rising from its turbulent surface. The willows, for once, were motionless and silent. Then a sound began to reach my ears faintly, a peculiar sound—something like the humming of a distant gong. It seemed to come across to us in the darkness from the waste of swamps and willows opposite. It was repeated at regular intervals, but it was certainly neither the sound of a bell nor the hooting of a distant steamer. I can liken it to nothing so much as to the sound of an immense gong, suspended far up in the sky, repeating incessantly its muffled metallic note, soft and musical, as it was repeatedly struck. My heart quickened as I listened.
We stood there, listening intently together. At first, I could only hear the deep sound of the water and the hissing coming from its choppy surface. The willows were unusually still and quiet. Then a sound started to reach my ears faintly, a strange sound—something like the humming of a distant gong. It seemed to come to us in the darkness from the expanse of swamps and willows across the way. It repeated at regular intervals, but it was definitely neither the sound of a bell nor the hoot of a distant steamer. I can compare it to nothing more than the sound of a huge gong, hanging high up in the sky, constantly repeating its muted metallic note, soft and musical, as it was struck again and again. My heart raced as I listened.
“I’ve heard it all day,” said my companion. “While you slept this afternoon it came all round the island. I hunted it down, but could never get near enough to see—to localize it correctly. Sometimes it was overhead, and sometimes it seemed under the water. Once or twice, too, I could have sworn it was not outside at all, but within myself—you know—the way a sound in the fourth dimension is supposed to come.”
“I’ve heard it all day,” my friend said. “While you were sleeping this afternoon, it went all around the island. I tried to track it down, but I could never get close enough to actually see it—or pinpoint where it was coming from. Sometimes it was above me, and sometimes it felt like it was under the water. A couple of times, I could have sworn it wasn't outside at all, but inside me—you know—the way a sound from the fourth dimension is supposed to happen.”
I was too much puzzled to pay much attention to his words. I listened carefully, striving to associate it with any known familiar sound I could think of, but without success. It changed in the direction, too, coming nearer, and then sinking utterly away into remote distance. I cannot say that it was ominous in quality, because to me it seemed distinctly musical, yet I must admit it set going a distressing feeling that made me wish I had never heard it.
I was too confused to focus on what he was saying. I listened intently, trying to connect it to any recognizable sound I could think of, but I couldn’t make it work. It also shifted direction, getting closer and then fading completely into the distance. I can’t say it felt threatening because, to me, it sounded clearly musical, yet I have to admit it stirred up an unsettling feeling that made me wish I had never heard it.
“The wind blowing in those sand-funnels,” I said determined to find an explanation, “or the bushes rubbing together after the storm perhaps.”
“The wind blowing through those sand funnels,” I said, eager for an explanation, “or maybe the bushes rubbing together after the storm.”
“It comes off the whole swamp,” my friend answered. “It comes from everywhere at once.” He ignored my explanations. “It comes from the willow bushes somehow—”
“It comes from the whole swamp,” my friend replied. “It comes from everywhere all at once.” He brushed off my explanations. “It comes from the willow bushes somehow—”
“But now the wind has dropped,” I objected. “The willows can hardly make a noise by themselves, can they?”
"But now the wind has died down," I said. "The willows can barely make a sound on their own, can they?"
His answer frightened me, first because I had dreaded it, and secondly, because I knew intuitively it was true.
His answer scared me, first because I had feared it, and secondly, because I instinctively knew it was true.
“It is because the wind has dropped we now hear it. It was drowned before. It is the cry, I believe, of the—”
“It’s because the wind has calmed down that we can hear it now. It was drowned out before. I think it’s the cry of the—”
I dashed back to my fire, warned by the sound of bubbling that the stew was in danger, but determined at the same time to escape further conversation. I was resolute, if possible, to avoid the exchanging of views. I dreaded, too, that he would begin about the gods, or the elemental forces, or something else disquieting, and I wanted to keep myself well in hand for what might happen later. There was another night to be faced before we escaped from this distressing place, and there was no knowing yet what it might bring forth.
I rushed back to my fire, hearing the bubbling sound warning me that the stew was in trouble, but I was also eager to avoid any more conversation. I was determined to steer clear of sharing opinions. I was also anxious he would start talking about the gods or elemental forces or something equally unsettling, and I wanted to stay composed for whatever might happen later. There was another night ahead before we could get out of this stressful place, and we had no idea what it might bring.
“Come and cut up bread for the pot,” I called to him, vigorously stirring the appetizing mixture. That stew-pot held sanity for us both, and the thought made me laugh.
“Come and chop up some bread for the pot,” I called to him, stirring the delicious mixture vigorously. That stew pot represented sanity for both of us, and the thought made me laugh.
He came over slowly and took the provision sack from the tree, fumbling in its mysterious depths, and then emptying the entire contents upon the ground-sheet at his feet.
He walked over slowly and grabbed the supply bag from the tree, rummaging through its mysterious contents, and then dumping everything out onto the ground sheet at his feet.
“Hurry up!” I cried; “it’s boiling.”
“Hurry up!” I shouted; “it’s about to boil.”
The Swede burst out into a roar of laughter that startled me. It was forced laughter, not artificial exactly, but mirthless.
The Swede suddenly laughed loudly, catching me off guard. It was a fake laugh, not totally fake, but devoid of joy.
“There’s nothing here!” he shouted, holding his sides.
“There's nothing here!” he yelled, clutching his sides.
“Bread, I mean.”
"Bread, I mean."
“It’s gone. There is no bread. They’ve taken it!”
“It’s gone. There’s no bread. They took it!”
I dropped the long spoon and ran up. Everything the sack had contained lay upon the ground-sheet, but there was no loaf.
I dropped the long spoon and ran up. Everything the sack had held was spread out on the ground sheet, but there was no loaf.
The whole dead weight of my growing fear fell upon me and shook me. Then I burst out laughing too. It was the only thing to do: and the sound of my laughter also made me understand his. The stain of psychical pressure caused it—this explosion of unnatural laughter in both of us; it was an effort of repressed forces to seek relief; it was a temporary safety-valve. And with both of us it ceased quite suddenly.
The full weight of my growing fear hit me and shook me. Then I started laughing too. It was the only thing I could do: the sound of my laughter also helped me understand his. The pressure we were under caused this sudden burst of unnatural laughter in both of us; it was a release of repressed emotions looking for an escape; it was a quick way to let off steam. Then, just as suddenly, it stopped for both of us.
“How criminally stupid of me!” I cried, still determined to be consistent and find an explanation. “I clean forgot to buy a loaf at Pressburg. That chattering woman put everything out of my head, and I must have left it lying on the counter or—”
“How incredibly stupid of me!” I exclaimed, still set on being consistent and figuring out what happened. “I completely forgot to buy a loaf in Pressburg. That talkative woman distracted me, and I must have left it on the counter or—”
“The oatmeal, too, is much less than it was this morning,” the Swede interrupted.
“The oatmeal is way less than it was this morning,” the Swede interrupted.
Why in the world need he draw attention to it? I thought angrily.
Why on earth did he need to draw attention to it? I thought angrily.
“There’s enough for tomorrow,” I said, stirring vigorously, “and we can get lots more at Komorn or Gran. In twenty-four hours we shall be miles from here.”
“There’s plenty for tomorrow,” I said, stirring vigorously, “and we can get a lot more at Komorn or Gran. In twenty-four hours, we’ll be miles away from here.”
“I hope so—to God,” he muttered, putting the things back into the sack, “unless we’re claimed first as victims for the sacrifice,” he added with a foolish laugh. He dragged the sack into the tent, for safety’s sake, I suppose, and I heard him mumbling to himself, but so indistinctly that it seemed quite natural for me to ignore his words.
“I hope so—to God,” he muttered, putting the stuff back into the bag, “unless we get picked first as victims for the sacrifice,” he added with a silly laugh. He dragged the bag into the tent, probably for safety, and I heard him mumbling to himself, but it was so unclear that it felt totally normal for me to ignore what he was saying.
Our meal was beyond question a gloomy one, and we ate it almost in silence, avoiding one another’s eyes, and keeping the fire bright. Then we washed up and prepared for the night, and, once smoking, our minds unoccupied with any definite duties, the apprehension I had felt all day long became more and more acute. It was not then active fear, I think, but the very vagueness of its origin distressed me far more that if I had been able to ticket and face it squarely. The curious sound I have likened to the note of a gong became now almost incessant, and filled the stillness of the night with a faint, continuous ringing rather than a series of distinct notes. At one time it was behind and at another time in front of us. Sometimes I fancied it came from the bushes on our left, and then again from the clumps on our right. More often it hovered directly overhead like the whirring of wings. It was really everywhere at once, behind, in front, at our sides and over our heads, completely surrounding us. The sound really defies description. But nothing within my knowledge is like that ceaseless muffled humming rising off the deserted world of swamps and willows.
Our meal was definitely gloomy, and we ate it mostly in silence, avoiding each other’s eyes while keeping the fire bright. Afterward, we cleaned up and got ready for the night. Once we started smoking and our minds weren’t occupied with any specific tasks, the anxiety I’d felt all day became even more intense. It wasn’t so much active fear, I think, but the uncertainty of what was causing it troubled me much more than if I had been able to identify it and confront it head-on. The strange sound I had compared to a gong became almost constant, filling the quiet night with a faint, continuous ringing instead of separate notes. Sometimes it seemed to be behind us, other times in front. At times, I thought it came from the bushes on our left, and then from the clumps on our right. More often, it felt like it was right above us, like the sound of wings. It really felt like it was everywhere at once—behind us, in front, on our sides, and overhead, completely surrounding us. The sound is really hard to describe. But nothing I know compares to that endless muffled hum coming from the empty world of swamps and willows.
We sat smoking in comparative silence, the strain growing every minute greater. The worst feature of the situation seemed to me that we did not know what to expect, and could therefore make no sort of preparation by way of defense. We could anticipate nothing. My explanations made in the sunshine, moreover, now came to haunt me with their foolish and wholly unsatisfactory nature, and it was more and more clear to us that some kind of plain talk with my companion was inevitable, whether I liked it or not. After all, we had to spend the night together, and to sleep in the same tent side by side. I saw that I could not get along much longer without the support of his mind, and for that, of course, plain talk was imperative. As long as possible, however, I postponed this little climax, and tried to ignore or laugh at the occasional sentences he flung into the emptiness.
We sat smoking in relative silence, the tension growing more intense by the minute. The worst part of the situation, to me, was that we had no clue what to expect, which meant we couldn’t prepare any kind of defense. We couldn’t predict anything. My explanations made in the sunlight now haunted me with their foolish and completely unsatisfactory nature, and it became more and more obvious that some kind of straightforward conversation with my companion was unavoidable, whether I wanted it or not. After all, we had to spend the night together and sleep side by side in the same tent. I realized I couldn’t go on much longer without his mental support, and for that, honest communication was essential. However, I delayed this little climax as long as I could, trying to ignore or laugh off the occasional comments he threw into the void.
Some of these sentences, moreover, were confoundedly disquieting to me, coming as they did to corroborate much that I felt myself; corroboration, too—which made it so much more convincing—from a totally different point of view. He composed such curious sentences, and hurled them at me in such an inconsequential sort of way, as though his main line of thought was secret to himself, and these fragments were mere bits he found it impossible to digest. He got rid of them by uttering them. Speech relieved him. It was like being sick.
Some of these sentences were really unsettling for me, especially since they confirmed a lot of what I already felt; confirmation that was even more persuasive because it came from a completely different perspective. He came up with such strange sentences and tossed them at me in such a casual way, as if his main train of thought was a mystery to him, and these pieces were just things he couldn’t process. He got rid of them by just saying them. Talking was a relief for him. It was like being unwell.
“There are things about us, I’m sure, that make for disorder, disintegration, destruction, our destruction,” he said once, while the fire blazed between us. “We’ve strayed out of a safe line somewhere.”
“There are things about us, I’m sure, that create chaos, breakdown, ruin, our ruin,” he said one time, while the fire blazed between us. “We’ve wandered off a safe path somewhere.”
And, another time, when the gong sounds had come nearer, ringing much louder than before, and directly over our heads, he said as though talking to himself:
And another time, when the sounds of the gong got closer, ringing much louder than before, and directly above us, he said as if he were talking to himself:
“I don’t think a gramophone would show any record of that. The sound doesn’t come to me by the ears at all. The vibrations reach me in another manner altogether, and seem to be within me, which is precisely how a fourth dimensional sound might be supposed to make itself heard.”
“I don’t think a gramophone would pick up anything like that. The sound doesn’t reach me through my ears at all. The vibrations come to me in a completely different way, and feel like they’re inside me, which is exactly how you might expect a fourth-dimensional sound to be experienced.”
I purposely made no reply to this, but I sat up a little closer to the fire and peered about me into the darkness. The clouds were massed all over the sky, and no trace of moonlight came through. Very still, too, everything was, so that the river and the frogs had things all their own way.
I intentionally didn't answer this, but I moved a bit closer to the fire and looked around into the darkness. The clouds were thick across the sky, and no moonlight peeked through. Everything was really quiet, allowing the river and the frogs to do their own thing.
“It has that about it,” he went on, “which is utterly out of common experience. It is unknown. Only one thing describes it really; it is a non-human sound; I mean a sound outside humanity.”
“It has something about it,” he continued, “that is completely outside of common experience. It is unknown. Only one thing truly describes it; it is a non-human sound; I mean a sound beyond humanity.”
Having rid himself of this indigestible morsel, he lay quiet for a time, but he had so admirably expressed my own feeling that it was a relief to have the thought out, and to have confined it by the limitation of words from dangerous wandering to and fro in the mind.
Having gotten rid of this hard-to-digest thought, he lay still for a bit, but he had so perfectly captured how I felt that it was a relief to have the idea articulated, and to have it contained by the limits of words instead of letting it roam dangerously in my mind.
The solitude of that Danube camping-place, can I ever forget it? The feeling of being utterly alone on an empty planet! My thoughts ran incessantly upon cities and the haunts of men. I would have given my soul, as the saying is, for the “feel” of those Bavarian villages we had passed through by the score; for the normal, human commonplaces; peasants drinking beer, tables beneath the trees, hot sunshine, and a ruined castle on the rocks behind the red-roofed church. Even the tourists would have been welcome.
Can I ever forget the solitude of that camping spot by the Danube? It felt like being completely alone on an empty planet! My mind was constantly drifting to cities and the places where people gather. I would have given anything, as the saying goes, for the vibe of those Bavarian villages we had passed by in droves; for the usual human experiences—peasants drinking beer, tables under the trees, hot sunshine, and a crumbling castle perched on the rocks behind the red-roofed church. Even the tourists would have been a welcome sight.
Yet what I felt of dread was no ordinary ghostly fear. It was infinitely greater, stranger, and seemed to arise from some dim ancestral sense of terror more profoundly disturbing than anything I had known or dreamed of. We had “strayed,” as the Swede put it, into some region or some set of conditions where the risks were great, yet unintelligible to us; where the frontiers of some unknown world lay close about us. It was a spot held by the dwellers in some outer space, a sort of peep-hole whence they could spy upon the earth, themselves unseen, a point where the veil between had worn a little thin. As the final result of too long a sojourn here, we should be carried over the border and deprived of what we called “our lives,” yet by mental, not physical, processes. In that sense, as he said, we should be the victims of our adventure—a sacrifice.
Yet the dread I felt was not just a typical ghostly fear. It was much greater, stranger, and seemed to come from some vague ancestral sense of terror that was more deeply unsettling than anything I had ever known or imagined. We had “strayed,” as the Swede put it, into some area or set of conditions where the dangers were significant, yet completely baffling to us; where the borders of some unknown realm were right around us. It was a place held by the inhabitants of some outer space, like a peep-hole through which they could watch the earth without being seen, a point where the barrier between worlds had become a little worn. As a result of staying here too long, we would be carried across the border and stripped of what we called “our lives,” but through mental, not physical, processes. In that sense, as he said, we would be the victims of our adventure—a sacrifice.
It took us in different fashion, each according to the measure of his sensitiveness and powers of resistance. I translated it vaguely into a personification of the mightily disturbed elements, investing them with the horror of a deliberate and malefic purpose, resentful of our audacious intrusion into their breeding-place; whereas my friend threw it into the unoriginal form at first of a trespass on some ancient shrine, some place where the old gods still held sway, where the emotional forces of former worshippers still clung, and the ancestral portion of him yielded to the old pagan spell.
It affected us in different ways, each based on his sensitivity and ability to cope. I interpreted it as a personification of the violently disturbed elements, giving them a sense of deliberate and evil intent, angry about our bold intrusion into their nesting ground; while my friend framed it in a more clichéd way, as a violation of some ancient shrine, a place still influenced by the old gods, where the emotions of past worshippers still lingered, and his ancestral side submitted to the ancient pagan magic.
At any rate, here was a place unpolluted by men, kept clean by the winds from coarsening human influences, a place where spiritual agencies were within reach and aggressive. Never, before or since, have I been so attacked by indescribable suggestions of a “beyond region,” of another scheme of life, another revolution not parallel to the human. And in the end our minds would succumb under the weight of the awful spell, and we should be drawn across the frontier into their world.
At any rate, here was a place untouched by humans, kept pure by the winds from rough human influences, a place where spiritual forces were close and active. Never, before or since, have I been so overwhelmed by indescribable hints of a “beyond,” of another way of life, another revolution separate from humanity. And in the end, our minds would give in to the heavy influence of the terrifying spell, and we would be pulled across the boundary into their world.
Small things testified to the amazing influence of the place, and now in the silence round the fire they allowed themselves to be noted by the mind. The very atmosphere had proved itself a magnifying medium to distort every indication: the otter rolling in the current, the hurrying boatman making signs, the shifting willows, one and all had been robbed of its natural character, and revealed in something of its other aspect—as it existed across the border to that other region. And this changed aspect I felt was now not merely to me, but to the race. The whole experience whose verge we touched was unknown to humanity at all. It was a new order of experience, and in the true sense of the word unearthly.
Small things showed the incredible influence of the place, and now in the quiet around the fire, they let themselves be noticed by the mind. The very atmosphere had acted like a magnifying glass, distorting every sign: the otter tumbling in the current, the hurried boatman signaling, the swaying willows—all had lost their natural character and revealed a different side of themselves, as they existed across the border into that other realm. I felt this changed aspect was no longer just for me, but for humanity as a whole. The whole experience we were on the edge of was completely unknown to people. It was a new type of experience, and in the true sense of the word unearthly.
“It’s the deliberate, calculating purpose that reduces one’s courage to zero,” the Swede said suddenly, as if he had been actually following my thoughts. “Otherwise imagination might count for much. But the paddle, the canoe, the lessening food—”
“It’s the intentional, calculating purpose that totally drains a person’s courage,” the Swede said abruptly, as if he had been tracking my thoughts. “Otherwise, imagination might mean a lot. But the paddle, the canoe, the dwindling food—”
“Haven’t I explained all that once?” I interrupted viciously.
“Haven’t I gone over all that before?” I interjected harshly.
“You have,” he answered dryly; “you have indeed.”
“You have,” he replied flatly; “you really do.”
He made other remarks too, as usual, about what he called the “plain determination to provide a victim”; but, having now arranged my thoughts better, I recognized that this was simply the cry of his frightened soul against the knowledge that he was being attacked in a vital part, and that he would be somehow taken or destroyed. The situation called for a courage and calmness of reasoning that neither of us could compass, and I have never before been so clearly conscious of two persons in me—the one that explained everything, and the other that laughed at such foolish explanations, yet was horribly afraid.
He made other comments too, as usual, about what he called the “plain determination to find a scapegoat”; but now that I had my thoughts organized better, I realized that this was just the outcry of his scared soul against the awareness that he was being attacked at a crucial point, and that he would somehow be captured or destroyed. The situation required a level of courage and clear thinking that neither of us could manage, and I had never been so aware of the two different sides within me—the one that explained everything, and the other that laughed at such ridiculous explanations, yet was deeply afraid.
Meanwhile, in the pitchy night the fire died down and the wood pile grew small. Neither of us moved to replenish the stock, and the darkness consequently came up very close to our faces. A few feet beyond the circle of firelight it was inky black. Occasionally a stray puff of wind set the willows shivering about us, but apart from this not very welcome sound a deep and depressing silence reigned, broken only by the gurgling of the river and the humming in the air overhead.
Meanwhile, in the dark night, the fire died down and the wood pile shrank. Neither of us bothered to restock it, so the darkness crept in close to our faces. Just a few feet beyond the light of the fire, everything was pitch black. Occasionally, a stray gust of wind made the willows tremble around us, but aside from that unwelcome noise, there was a deep and heavy silence, interrupted only by the gurgling of the river and the buzzing in the air above.
We both missed, I think, the shouting company of the winds.
We both missed, I think, the loud company of the winds.
At length, at a moment when a stray puff prolonged itself as though the wind were about to rise again, I reached the point for me of saturation, the point where it was absolutely necessary to find relief in plain speech, or else to betray myself by some hysterical extravagance that must have been far worse in its effect upon both of us. I kicked the fire into a blaze, and turned to my companion abruptly. He looked up with a start.
Finally, at a moment when a stray breeze lingered as if the wind was about to pick up again, I reached my breaking point, the moment when I absolutely needed to express myself clearly, or risk revealing my emotions in some dramatic way that would have been even worse for both of us. I stoked the fire into a blaze and turned to my companion suddenly. He looked up, startled.
“I can’t disguise it any longer,” I said; “I don’t like this place, and the darkness, and the noises, and the awful feelings I get. There’s something here that beats me utterly. I’m in a blue funk, and that’s the plain truth. If the other shore was—different, I swear I’d be inclined to swim for it!”
“I can’t hide it anymore,” I said; “I don’t like this place, the darkness, the noises, and the terrible feelings I have. There’s something here that completely overwhelms me. I’m really stressed out, and that’s the honest truth. If the other side was—different, I swear I’d be tempted to swim for it!”
The Swede’s face turned very white beneath the deep tan of sun and wind. He stared straight at me and answered quietly, but his voice betrayed his huge excitement by its unnatural calmness. For the moment, at any rate, he was the strong man of the two. He was more phlegmatic, for one thing.
The Swede's face went pale beneath his deep tan from the sun and wind. He looked directly at me and replied quietly, but his voice revealed his intense excitement through its unnatural calm. For now, at least, he was the stronger of the two. He was more composed, for one thing.
“It’s not a physical condition we can escape from by running away,” he replied, in the tone of a doctor diagnosing some grave disease; “we must sit tight and wait. There are forces close here that could kill a herd of elephants in a second as easily as you or I could squash a fly. Our only chance is to keep perfectly still. Our insignificance perhaps may save us.”
“It’s not a physical condition we can run away from,” he replied, in the tone of a doctor diagnosing some serious illness; “we have to stay put and wait. There are forces nearby that could wipe out a herd of elephants in an instant, just like you or I could squash a fly. Our only chance is to remain completely still. Maybe our insignificance will save us.”
I put a dozen questions into my expression of face, but found no words. It was precisely like listening to an accurate description of a disease whose symptoms had puzzled me.
I had a dozen questions written on my face, but I couldn't find the words. It was just like hearing a detailed explanation of a disease whose symptoms had confused me.
“I mean that so far, although aware of our disturbing presence, they have not found us—not ‘located’ us, as the Americans say,” he went on. “They’re blundering about like men hunting for a leak of gas. The paddle and canoe and provisions prove that. I think they feel us, but cannot actually see us. We must keep our minds quiet—it’s our minds they feel. We must control our thoughts, or it’s all up with us.”
“I mean that so far, even though they know we’re here, they haven’t found us—not ‘located’ us, as the Americans put it,” he continued. “They’re wandering around like guys searching for a gas leak. The paddle, canoe, and supplies show that. I think they can feel us, but can’t actually see us. We need to stay calm—it’s our minds they can sense. We have to control our thoughts, or we’re finished.”
“Death, you mean?” I stammered, icy with the horror of his suggestion.
“Death, you mean?” I stuttered, feeling frozen with the horror of his suggestion.
“Worse—by far,” he said. “Death, according to one’s belief, means either annihilation or release from the limitations of the senses, but it involves no change of character. You don’t suddenly alter just because the body’s gone. But this means a radical alteration, a complete change, a horrible loss of oneself by substitution—far worse than death, and not even annihilation. We happen to have camped in a spot where their region touches ours, where the veil between has worn thin”—horrors! he was using my very own phrase, my actual words—“so that they are aware of our being in their neighborhood.”
“Worse—by far,” he said. “Death, depending on what you believe, means either total disappearance or freedom from the limits of the senses, but it doesn’t change who you are. You don’t suddenly become someone different just because your body is gone. But this means a drastic change, a total transformation, a terrible loss of oneself through replacement—far worse than death, and not even total disappearance. We happen to have set up camp in a place where their area overlaps with ours, where the barrier between them has become thin”—horrors! he was using my very own phrase, my actual words—“so they know we’re in their vicinity.”
“But who are aware?” I asked.
“But who is aware?” I asked.
I forgot the shaking of the willows in the windless calm, the humming overhead, everything except that I was waiting for an answer that I dreaded more than I can possibly explain.
I forgot the willows shaking in the still air, the humming overhead, everything except that I was waiting for an answer that I feared more than I can put into words.
He lowered his voice at once to reply, leaning forward a little over the fire, an indefinable change in his face that made me avoid his eyes and look down upon the ground.
He immediately lowered his voice to respond, leaning a bit closer to the fire, an unexplainable shift in his expression that made me look away and focus on the ground.
“All my life,” he said, “I have been strangely, vividly conscious of another region—not far removed from our own world in one sense, yet wholly different in kind—where great things go on unceasingly, where immense and terrible personalities hurry by, intent on vast purposes compared to which earthly affairs, the rise and fall of nations, the destinies of empires, the fate of armies and continents, are all as dust in the balance; vast purposes, I mean, that deal directly with the soul, and not indirectly with mere expressions of the soul—”
“All my life,” he said, “I have been strangely and vividly aware of another realm—not far from our own world in one way, yet completely different in another—where amazing things happen constantly, where powerful and frightening figures rush by, focused on huge goals that make earthly matters, like the rise and fall of nations, the fates of empires, and the destinies of armies and continents, seem insignificant; huge goals, I mean, that engage directly with the soul, rather than just dealing with mere expressions of the soul—”
“I suggest just now—” I began, seeking to stop him, feeling as though I was face to face with a madman. But he instantly overbore me with his torrent that had to come.
“I suggest right now—” I started, trying to interrupt him, feeling as if I was up against a madman. But he quickly overwhelmed me with his outpouring that had to come.
“You think,” he said, “it is the spirit of the elements, and I thought perhaps it was the old gods. But I tell you now it is—neither. These would be comprehensible entities, for they have relations with men, depending upon them for worship or sacrifice, whereas these beings who are now about us have absolutely nothing to do with mankind, and it is mere chance that their space happens just at this spot to touch our own.”
“You think,” he said, “it’s the spirit of the elements, and I thought maybe it was the old gods. But I’m telling you now it’s—neither. These would be understandable beings, as they have connections with humans, relying on them for worship or sacrifice, while the beings around us have absolutely nothing to do with mankind, and it’s just a coincidence that their space happens to intersect with ours right here.”
The mere conception, which his words somehow made so convincing, as I listened to them there in the dark stillness of that lonely island, set me shaking a little all over. I found it impossible to control my movements.
The idea, which his words somehow made so convincing as I listened to them in the dark silence of that lonely island, made me shake a little all over. I couldn't control my movements at all.
“And what do you propose?” I began again.
“And what do you suggest?” I started again.
“A sacrifice, a victim, might save us by distracting them until we could get away,” he went on, “just as the wolves stop to devour the dogs and give the sleigh another start. But—I see no chance of any other victim now.”
“A sacrifice, a victim, might save us by drawing their attention away until we could escape,” he continued, “just like how the wolves pause to eat the dogs and allow the sleigh to get going again. But—I don't see any other chance for a victim right now.”
I stared blankly at him. The gleam in his eye was dreadful. Presently he continued.
I stared at him in confusion. The look in his eye was terrifying. Then he went on.
“It’s the willows, of course. The willows mask the others, but the others are feeling about for us. If we let our minds betray our fear, we’re lost, lost utterly.” He looked at me with an expression so calm, so determined, so sincere, that I no longer had any doubts as to his sanity. He was as sane as any man ever was. “If we can hold out through the night,” he added, “we may get off in the daylight unnoticed, or rather, undiscovered.”
“It’s the willows, of course. The willows hide the others, but the others are searching for us. If we let our minds give in to fear, we’re done for, completely lost.” He looked at me with an expression so calm, so determined, so sincere, that I no longer doubted his sanity. He was as sane as anyone ever was. “If we can make it through the night,” he added, “we might be able to leave in the daylight without being seen, or rather, undiscovered.”
“But you really think a sacrifice would—”
“But you really think a sacrifice would—”
That gong-like humming came down very close over our heads as I spoke, but it was my friend’s scared face that really stopped my mouth.
That gong-like humming was hovering just above us as I talked, but it was my friend's terrified expression that really made me stop talking.
“Hush!” he whispered, holding up his hand. “Do not mention them more than you can help. Do not refer to them by name. To name is to reveal; it is the inevitable clue, and our only hope lies in ignoring them, in order that they may ignore us.”
“Hush!” he whispered, raising his hand. “Try not to mention them more than necessary. Don’t refer to them by name. To name is to reveal; it gives away our hint, and our only hope is in ignoring them so they will ignore us.”
“Even in thought?” He was extraordinarily agitated.
“Even in thought?” He was extremely upset.
“Especially in thought. Our thoughts make spirals in their world. We must keep them out of our minds at all costs if possible.”
“Especially in our thoughts. Our thoughts create spirals in their world. We must keep them out of our minds at all costs if we can.”
I raked the fire together to prevent the darkness having everything its own way. I never longed for the sun as I longed for it then in the awful blackness of that summer night.
I gathered the firewood to stop the darkness from taking over completely. I never craved the sun as much as I did then, in the terrible darkness of that summer night.
“Were you awake all last night?” he went on suddenly.
“Were you awake all night?” he asked suddenly.
“I slept badly a little after dawn,” I replied evasively, trying to follow his instructions, which I knew instinctively were true, “but the wind, of course—”
“I slept poorly just after dawn,” I replied evasively, trying to follow his advice, which I instinctively knew was right, “but the wind, of course—”
“I know. But the wind won’t account for all the noises.”
“I get it. But the wind isn’t responsible for all the sounds.”
“Then you heard it too?”
"Did you hear it too?"
“The multiplying countless little footsteps I heard,” he said, adding, after a moment’s hesitation, “and that other sound—”
“The countless little footsteps I heard,” he said, pausing for a moment before adding, “and that other sound—”
“You mean above the tent, and the pressing down upon us of something tremendous, gigantic?”
“You're talking about something huge looming over us, right?”
He nodded significantly.
He nodded meaningfully.
“It was like the beginning of a sort of inner suffocation?” I said.
“It felt like the start of a kind of inner suffocation?” I said.
“Partly, yes. It seemed to me that the weight of the atmosphere had been altered—had increased enormously, so that we should have been crushed.”
“Partly, yes. It felt to me like the weight of the atmosphere had changed—had grown so much that we would have been crushed.”
“And that,” I went on, determined to have it all out, pointing upwards where the gong-like note hummed ceaselessly, rising and falling like wind. “What do you make of that?”
“And that,” I continued, determined to get it all out, pointing upward where the gong-like sound hummed endlessly, rising and falling like the wind. “What do you think of that?”
“It’s their sound,” he whispered gravely. “It’s the sound of their world, the humming in their region. The division here is so thin that it leaks through somehow. But, if you listen carefully, you’ll find it’s not above so much as around us. It’s in the willows. It’s the willows themselves humming, because here the willows have been made symbols of the forces that are against us.”
“It’s their sound,” he whispered seriously. “It’s the sound of their world, the humming in their area. The division here is so thin that it seeps through somehow. But if you listen closely, you’ll notice it’s not above us as much as it is around us. It’s in the willows. The willows themselves are humming because here, the willows have become symbols of the forces that are against us.”
I could not follow exactly what he meant by this, yet the thought and idea in my mind were beyond question the thought and idea in his. I realized what he realized, only with less power of analysis than his. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him at last about my hallucination of the ascending figures and the moving bushes, when he suddenly thrust his face again close into mine across the firelight and began to speak in a very earnest whisper. He amazed me by his calmness and pluck, his apparent control of the situation. This man I had for years deemed unimaginative, stolid!
I couldn’t quite grasp what he meant by this, but the thought and idea in my mind were definitely the same as his. I understood what he understood, just with less depth of analysis than he had. It was on the tip of my tongue to finally tell him about my hallucination of the ascending figures and the moving bushes when he suddenly leaned in close again, across the firelight, and started speaking in a very serious whisper. I was amazed by his calmness and courage, his apparent control of the situation. This was a man I had thought for years was unimaginative and solid!
“Now listen,” he said. “The only thing for us to do is to go on as though nothing had happened, follow our usual habits, go to bed, and so forth; pretend we feel nothing and notice nothing. It is a question wholly of the mind, and the less we think about them the better our chance of escape. Above all, don’t think, for what you think happens!”
“Now listen,” he said. “The only thing we can do is act like nothing happened, stick to our usual routines, go to bed, and so on; pretend we feel and notice nothing. It’s all in our heads, and the less we dwell on them, the better our chance of getting away. Above all, don’t think, because whatever you think will happen!”
“All right,” I managed to reply, simply breathless with his words and the strangeness of it all; “all right, I’ll try, but tell me one more thing first. Tell me what you make of those hollows in the ground all about us, those sand-funnels?”
“All right,” I finally replied, completely amazed by what he said and how weird everything felt; “all right, I’ll give it a shot, but tell me one more thing first. What do you think about those holes in the ground around us, those sand funnels?”
“No!” he cried, forgetting to whisper in his excitement. “I dare not, simply dare not, put the thought into words. If you have not guessed I am glad. Don’t try to. They have put it into my mind; try your hardest to prevent their putting it into yours.”
“No!” he shouted, forgetting to keep his voice down in his excitement. “I can’t, I really can’t, express that thought out loud. If you haven’t figured it out, I’m glad. Don’t attempt to. They have planted it in my mind; do your best to stop them from planting it in yours.”
He sank his voice again to a whisper before he finished, and I did not press him to explain. There was already just about as much horror in me as I could hold. The conversation came to an end, and we smoked our pipes busily in silence.
He lowered his voice again to a whisper before he finished, and I didn’t push him to explain. I was already carrying as much horror as I could handle. The conversation came to a close, and we smoked our pipes quietly in silence.
Then something happened, something unimportant apparently, as the way is when the nerves are in a very great state of tension, and this small thing for a brief space gave me an entirely different point of view. I chanced to look down at my sand-shoe—the sort we used for the canoe—and something to do with the hole at the toe suddenly recalled to me the London shop where I had bought them, the difficulty the man had in fitting me, and other details of the uninteresting but practical operation. At once, in its train, followed a wholesome view of the modern skeptical world I was accustomed to move in at home. I thought of roast beef, and ale, motor-cars, policemen, brass bands, and a dozen other things that proclaimed the soul of ordinariness or utility. The effect was immediate and astonishing even to myself. Psychologically, I suppose, it was simply a sudden and violent reaction after the strain of living in an atmosphere of things that to the normal consciousness must seem impossible and incredible. But, whatever the cause, it momentarily lifted the spell from my heart, and left me for the short space of a minute feeling free and utterly unafraid. I looked up at my friend opposite.
Then something happened, something that seemed unimportant at the time, like it does when your nerves are really on edge. This small thing momentarily gave me a completely different perspective. I happened to glance down at my sneaker—the kind we wore for canoeing—and something about the hole in the toe suddenly reminded me of the London shop where I bought them, how hard it was for the guy to find the right fit for me, and other dull but practical details of the process. Immediately after that, I had a clear view of the modern, skeptical world I usually inhabited back home. I thought of roast beef, beer, cars, police officers, brass bands, and a dozen other things that screamed ordinary or useful. The effect was immediate and surprising even to me. Psychologically, I guess it was just a sudden and intense reaction after being surrounded by things that must seem impossible and incredible to a normal person. But whatever the reason, it briefly lifted the weight from my heart, leaving me for a minute feeling free and completely unafraid. I looked up at my friend across from me.
“You damned old pagan!” I cried, laughing aloud in his face. “You imaginative idiot! You superstitious idolater! You—”
“You crazy old pagan!” I shouted, laughing right in his face. “You silly fool! You superstitious idol worshiper! You—”
I stopped in the middle, seized anew by the old horror. I tried to smother the sound of my voice as something sacrilegious. The Swede, of course, heard it too—the strange cry overhead in the darkness—and that sudden drop in the air as though something had come nearer.
I paused halfway, hit again by the familiar fear. I attempted to silence my voice, feeling it was something wrong. The Swede, naturally, heard it as well—the odd cry above us in the darkness—and that sudden shift in the air as if something had drawn closer.
He had turned ashen white under the tan. He stood bolt upright in front of the fire, stiff as a rod, staring at me.
He had gone pale under the tan. He stood straight up in front of the fire, stiff as a board, staring at me.
“After that,” he said in a sort of helpless, frantic way, “we must go! We can’t stay now; we must strike camp this very instant and go on—down the river.”
“After that,” he said in a kind of desperate, panicked way, “we have to go! We can’t stay now; we need to pack up right away and move on—down the river.”
He was talking, I saw, quite wildly, his words dictated by abject terror—the terror he had resisted so long, but which had caught him at last.
He was talking, I noticed, quite frantically, his words driven by sheer terror—the fear he had fought against for so long, but which had finally overtaken him.
“In the dark?” I exclaimed, shaking with fear after my hysterical outburst, but still realizing our position better than he did. “Sheer madness! The river’s in flood, and we’ve only got a single paddle. Besides, we only go deeper into their country! There’s nothing ahead for fifty miles but willows, willows, willows!”
“In the dark?” I shouted, trembling with fear after my meltdown, but still understanding our situation better than he did. “It’s crazy! The river’s flooding, and we’ve only got one paddle. Plus, we’re just heading further into their territory! There’s nothing for fifty miles but willows, willows, willows!”
He sat down again in a state of semi-collapse. The positions, by one of those kaleidoscopic changes nature loves, were suddenly reversed, and the control of our forces passed over into my hands. His mind at last had reached the point where it was beginning to weaken.
He sat down again, feeling half-crushed. In one of those unpredictable twists that nature enjoys, the situation suddenly flipped, and I found myself in control of our forces. His mind had finally reached a point where it was starting to weaken.
“What on earth possessed you to do such a thing?” he whispered with the awe of genuine terror in his voice and face.
“What on earth made you do something like that?” he whispered, his voice and face filled with genuine fear.
I crossed round to his side of the fire. I took both his hands in mine, kneeling down beside him and looking straight into his frightened eyes.
I moved around to his side of the fire. I took both of his hands in mine, kneeling next to him and looking directly into his scared eyes.
“We’ll make one more blaze,” I said firmly, “and then turn in for the night. At sunrise we’ll be off full speed for Komorn. Now, pull yourself together a bit, and remember your own advice about not thinking fear!”
“We’ll make one more fire,” I said firmly, “and then we’ll head to bed for the night. At sunrise, we’ll leave for Komorn at full speed. Now, pull yourself together a bit and remember your own advice about not thinking fear!”
He said no more, and I saw that he would agree and obey. In some measure, too, it was a sort of relief to get up and make an excursion into the darkness for more wood. We kept close together, almost touching, groping among the bushes and along the bank. The humming overhead never ceased, but seemed to me to grow louder as we increased our distance from the fire. It was shivery work!
He said nothing more, and I realized he would comply and follow. In a way, it was a relief to stand up and head into the darkness to get more wood. We stayed close together, nearly touching, feeling our way through the bushes and along the bank. The buzzing overhead didn't stop, but it felt like it got louder as we moved further away from the fire. It was a chilling experience!
We were grubbing away in the middle of a thickish clump of willows where some driftwood from a former flood had caught high among the branches, when my body was seized in a grip that made me half drop upon the sand. It was the Swede. He had fallen against me, and was clutching me for support. I heard his breath coming and going in short gasps.
We were digging around in the middle of a dense patch of willows where some driftwood from a past flood had gotten caught high in the branches when I suddenly felt my body gripped hard, making me almost collapse onto the sand. It was the Swede. He had bumped into me and was holding onto me for support. I could hear him breathing heavily in quick gasps.
“Look! By my soul!” he whispered, and for the first time in my experience I knew what it was to hear tears of terror in a human voice. He was pointing to the fire, some fifty feet away. I followed the direction of his finger, and I swear my heart missed a beat.
“Look! I swear!” he whispered, and for the first time in my life, I understood what it was like to hear tears of fear in someone's voice. He was pointing to the fire, about fifty feet away. I followed where he was pointing, and I swear my heart skipped a beat.
There, in front of the dim glow, something was moving.
There, in front of the dim light, something was moving.
I saw it through a veil that hung before my eyes like the gauze drop-curtain used at the back of a theater—hazily a little. It was neither a human figure nor an animal. To me it gave the strange impression of being as large as several animals grouped together, like horses, two or three, moving slowly. The Swede, too, got a similar result, though expressing it differently, for he thought it was shaped and sized like a clump of willow bushes, rounded at the top, and moving all over upon its surface—“coiling upon itself like smoke,” he said afterwards.
I saw it through a veil that hung before my eyes like the gauzy drop curtain used at the back of a theater—kind of hazy. It was neither a person nor an animal. To me, it felt oddly as big as several animals grouped together, like two or three horses moving slowly. The Swede also got a similar impression, but he described it differently, saying it looked like a cluster of willow bushes, rounded at the top, and shifting all over its surface—“coiling upon itself like smoke,” he said later.
“I watched it settle downwards through the bushes,” he sobbed at me. “Look, by God! It’s coming this way! Oh, oh!”—he gave a kind of whistling cry. “They’ve found us.”
“I watched it come down through the bushes,” he cried to me. “Look, no way! It’s coming this way! Oh, oh!”—he let out a kind of whistling sound. “They’ve found us.”
I gave one terrified glance, which just enabled me to see that the shadowy form was swinging towards us through the bushes, and then I collapsed backwards with a crash into the branches. These failed, of course, to support my weight, so that with the Swede on top of me we fell in a struggling heap upon the sand. I really hardly knew what was happening. I was conscious only of a sort of enveloping sensation of icy fear that plucked the nerves out of their fleshly covering, twisted them this way and that, and replaced them quivering. My eyes were tightly shut; something in my throat choked me; a feeling that my consciousness was expanding, extending out into space, swiftly gave way to another feeling that I was losing it altogether, and about to die.
I took a quick, terrified glance, just enough to see the shadowy figure moving toward us through the bushes, and then I fell backward with a crash into the branches. They obviously couldn’t support my weight, so with the Swede on top of me, we tumbled down in a struggling mess onto the sand. I barely knew what was happening. All I felt was an overwhelming sense of icy fear that stripped my nerves bare, twisting them around and leaving them trembling. My eyes were tightly shut; something in my throat was choking me; a sensation that my consciousness was stretching out into space quickly turned into a feeling that I was losing it entirely, and that I was about to die.
An acute spasm of pain passed through me, and I was aware that the Swede had hold of me in such a way that he hurt me abominably. It was the way he caught at me in falling.
A sharp pain shot through me, and I realized that the Swede was gripping me in a way that hurt like hell. It was how he grabbed onto me as he fell.
But it was the pain, he declared afterwards, that saved me; it caused me to forget them and think of something else at the very instant when they were about to find me. It concealed my mind from them at the moment of discovery, yet just in time to evade their terrible seizing of me. He himself, he says, actually swooned at the same moment, and that was what saved him.
But it was the pain, he said later, that saved me; it made me forget them and think of something else just when they were about to find me. It hid my thoughts from them right at the moment of discovery, just in time to escape their awful grasp. He also mentioned that he actually fainted at the same moment, and that was what saved him.
I only know that at a later date, how long or short is impossible to say, I found myself scrambling up out of the slippery network of willow branches, and saw my companion standing in front of me holding out a hand to assist me. I stared at him in a dazed way, rubbing the arm he had twisted for me. Nothing came to me to say, somehow.
I only know that later on, it’s hard to say how long or short, I found myself climbing out of the slippery mess of willow branches and saw my friend in front of me, reaching out a hand to help me. I looked at him in a daze, rubbing the arm he had twisted for me. For some reason, I couldn't think of anything to say.
“I lost consciousness for a moment or two,” I heard him say. “That’s what saved me. It made me stop thinking about them.”
“I blacked out for a moment,” I heard him say. “That’s what saved me. It made me stop thinking about them.”
“You nearly broke my arm in two,” I said, uttering my only connected thought at the moment. A numbness came over me.
“You almost broke my arm in two,” I said, voicing my only coherent thought at that moment. A sense of numbness washed over me.
“That’s what saved you!” he replied. “Between us, we’ve managed to set them off on a false tack somewhere. The humming has ceased. It’s gone—for the moment at any rate!”
"That’s what saved you!” he said. “Together, we’ve managed to lead them in the wrong direction. The humming has stopped. It’s gone—for now, at least!”
A wave of hysterical laughter seized me again, and this time spread to my friend too—great healing gusts of shaking laughter that brought a tremendous sense of relief in their train. We made our way back to the fire and put the wood on so that it blazed at once. Then we saw that the tent had fallen over and lay in a tangled heap upon the ground.
A wave of uncontrollable laughter hit me again, and this time it spread to my friend too—powerful, healing bursts of laughter that brought an incredible sense of relief. We walked back to the fire and added more wood so it flared up right away. Then we noticed that the tent had collapsed and was lying in a tangled mess on the ground.
We picked it up, and during the process tripped more than once and caught our feet in sand.
We picked it up, and during the process, we tripped more than once and got our feet stuck in the sand.
“It’s those sand-funnels,” exclaimed the Swede, when the tent was up again and the firelight lit up the ground for several yards about us. “And look at the size of them!”
“It’s those sand funnels,” the Swede exclaimed, once the tent was set up again and the firelight illuminated the ground for several yards around us. “And check out their size!”
All round the tent and about the fireplace where we had seen the moving shadows there were deep funnel-shaped hollows in the sand, exactly similar to the ones we had already found over the island, only far bigger and deeper, beautifully formed, and wide enough in some instances to admit the whole of my foot and leg.
All around the tent and close to the fireplace where we had seen the moving shadows, there were deep funnel-shaped holes in the sand, just like the ones we had already discovered on the island, but much larger and deeper, perfectly shaped, and in some cases, wide enough to fit my whole foot and leg.
Neither of us said a word. We both knew that sleep was the safest thing we could do, and to bed we went accordingly without further delay, having first thrown sand on the fire and taken the provision sack and the paddle inside the tent with us. The canoe, too, we propped in such a way at the end of the tent that our feet touched it, and the least motion would disturb and wake us.
Neither of us said anything. We both knew that sleep was the safest option, so we headed to bed without wasting any time. We first tossed sand on the fire and brought the food bag and paddle inside the tent with us. We also propped the canoe at the end of the tent so that our feet could touch it, ensuring that even the slightest movement would wake us.
In case of emergency, too, we again went to bed in our clothes, ready for a sudden start.
In case of an emergency, we also went to bed in our clothes, prepared for a quick wake-up.
V.
It was my firm intention to lie awake all night and watch, but the exhaustion of nerves and body decreed otherwise, and sleep after a while came over me with a welcome blanket of oblivion. The fact that my companion also slept quickened its approach. At first he fidgeted and constantly sat up, asking me if I “heard this” or “heard that.” He tossed about on his cork mattress, and said the tent was moving and the river had risen over the point of the island, but each time I went out to look I returned with the report that all was well, and finally he grew calmer and lay still. Then at length his breathing became regular and I heard unmistakable sounds of snoring—the first and only time in my life when snoring has been a welcome and calming influence.
I really planned to stay awake all night and keep watch, but the exhaustion of my mind and body took over, and eventually, sleep came to me like a comforting blanket of forgetfulness. The fact that my companion also fell asleep made it happen faster. At first, he was restless, sitting up frequently and asking me if I “heard this” or “heard that.” He moved around on his air mattress and said the tent was shaking and the river had flooded over the island’s edge, but every time I went outside to check, I came back with the news that everything was fine. Eventually, he calmed down and lay still. After a while, his breathing became steady, and I heard the unmistakable sounds of snoring—the first and only time in my life that snoring felt like a welcome and soothing presence.
This, I remember, was the last thought in my mind before dozing off.
This, I remember, was the last thought in my mind before falling asleep.
A difficulty in breathing woke me, and I found the blanket over my face. But something else besides the blanket was pressing upon me, and my first thought was that my companion had rolled off his mattress on to my own in his sleep. I called to him and sat up, and at the same moment it came to me that the tent was surrounded. That sound of multitudinous soft pattering was again audible outside, filling the night with horror.
A difficulty in breathing woke me up, and I realized the blanket was over my face. But there was something else pushing down on me, and my first thought was that my companion had rolled off his mattress onto mine in his sleep. I called out to him and sat up, and at that moment it hit me that the tent was surrounded. The sound of countless soft pattering was once again audible outside, filling the night with dread.
I called again to him, louder than before. He did not answer, but I missed the sound of his snoring, and also noticed that the flap of the tent was down. This was the unpardonable sin. I crawled out in the darkness to hook it back securely, and it was then for the first time I realized positively that the Swede was not here. He had gone.
I called out to him again, louder than before. He didn’t respond, but I missed the sound of his snoring and noticed that the tent flap was down. That was the worst mistake. I crawled out into the darkness to fasten it back securely, and it was then that I realized for sure that the Swede wasn’t here. He was gone.
I dashed out in a mad run, seized by a dreadful agitation, and the moment I was out I plunged into a sort of torrent of humming that surrounded me completely and came out of every quarter of the heavens at once. It was that same familiar humming—gone mad! A swarm of great invisible bees might have been about me in the air. The sound seemed to thicken the very atmosphere, and I felt that my lungs worked with difficulty.
I bolted outside in a frantic rush, overwhelmed by intense anxiety, and as soon as I stepped out, I was engulfed by a chaotic buzz that surrounded me from all directions. It was that same familiar humming—driven crazy! It felt like there was a swarm of giant invisible bees buzzing around me in the air. The sound seemed to make the atmosphere heavier, and I felt like my lungs were struggling to function.
But my friend was in danger, and I could not hesitate.
But my friend was in trouble, and I couldn't delay.
The dawn was just about to break, and a faint whitish light spread upwards over the clouds from a thin strip of clear horizon. No wind stirred. I could just make out the bushes and river beyond, and the pale sandy patches. In my excitement I ran frantically to and fro about the island, calling him by name, shouting at the top of my voice the first words that came into my head. But the willows smothered my voice, and the humming muffled it, so that the sound only traveled a few feet round me. I plunged among the bushes, tripping headlong, tumbling over roots, and scraping my face as I tore this way and that among the preventing branches.
The dawn was about to break, and a faint white light spread upwards over the clouds from a thin line of clear horizon. There was no wind. I could just see the bushes and river beyond, along with the light sandy patches. In my excitement, I ran back and forth around the island, calling out his name, shouting the first words that came to my mind at the top of my lungs. But the willows drowned out my voice, and the humming muffled it, so the sound only reached a few feet around me. I dove into the bushes, tripping and stumbling, tumbling over roots, and scraping my face as I tore this way and that among the obstructing branches.
Then, quite unexpectedly, I came out upon the island’s point and saw a dark figure outlined between the water and the sky. It was the Swede. And already he had one foot in the river! A moment more and he would have taken the plunge.
Then, unexpectedly, I reached the island’s point and saw a dark figure silhouetted between the water and the sky. It was the Swede. He already had one foot in the river! In just a moment, he would have jumped in.
I threw myself upon him, flinging my arms about his waist and dragging him shorewards with all my strength. Of course he struggled furiously, making a noise all the time just like that cursed humming, and using the most outlandish phrases in his anger about “going inside to Them,” and “taking the way of the water and the wind,” and God only knows what more besides, that I tried in vain to recall afterwards, but which turned me sick with horror and amazement as I listened. But in the end I managed to get him into the comparative safety of the tent, and flung him breathless and cursing upon the mattress where I held him until the fit had passed.
I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him toward the shore with all my strength. Naturally, he struggled like crazy, making a noise that sounded just like that annoying humming, and shouting the weirdest phrases in his anger about “going inside to Them,” and “taking the path of the water and the wind,” and God knows what else, which I tried and failed to remember later, but it made me sick with horror and disbelief as I listened. In the end, I managed to get him into the relatively safe space of the tent and threw him down, breathless and cursing, onto the mattress where I held him until the fit was over.
I think the suddenness with which it all went and he grew calm, coinciding as it did with the equally abrupt cessation of the humming and pattering outside—I think this was almost the strangest part of the whole business perhaps. For he had just opened his eyes and turned his tired face up to me so that the dawn threw a pale light upon it through the doorway, and said, for all the world just like a frightened child:
I think the sudden way everything changed, along with his calmness, which happened right when the humming and pattering outside suddenly stopped—that was probably the oddest part of it all. He had just opened his eyes and turned his tired face up to me, letting the dawn cast a pale light on him through the doorway, and said, just like a scared child:
“My life, old man—it’s my life I owe you. But it’s all over now anyhow. They’ve found a victim in our place!”
“My life, old man—it’s my life I owe you. But it’s all over now anyway. They’ve found a victim in our place!”
Then he dropped back upon his blankets and went to sleep literally under my eyes. He simply collapsed, and began to snore again as healthily as though nothing had happened and he had never tried to offer his own life as a sacrifice by drowning. And when the sunlight woke him three hours later—hours of ceaseless vigil for me—it became so clear to me that he remembered absolutely nothing of what he had attempted to do, that I deemed it wise to hold my peace and ask no dangerous questions.
Then he fell back onto his blankets and went to sleep right in front of me. He just collapsed and started snoring again as peacefully as if nothing had happened and he had never tried to sacrifice his life by drowning. And when the sunlight woke him three hours later—hours of constant watch for me—it became clear that he remembered nothing of what he had tried to do, so I thought it best to stay quiet and not ask any risky questions.
He woke naturally and easily, as I have said, when the sun was already high in a windless hot sky, and he at once got up and set about the preparation of the fire for breakfast. I followed him anxiously at bathing, but he did not attempt to plunge in, merely dipping his head and making some remark about the extra coldness of the water.
He woke up naturally and easily, as I mentioned, when the sun was already high in a hot, windless sky. He immediately got up and started preparing the fire for breakfast. I followed him nervously as he washed, but he didn’t try to jump in; he just dipped his head and made a comment about how cold the water was.
“River’s falling at last,” he said, “and I’m glad of it.”
“River’s finally falling,” he said, “and I’m happy about it.”
“The humming has stopped too,” I said.
“The humming has stopped too,” I said.
He looked up at me quietly with his normal expression. Evidently he remembered everything except his own attempt at suicide.
He looked up at me quietly with his usual expression. Clearly, he remembered everything except for his own suicide attempt.
“Everything has stopped,” he said, “because—”
“Everything has stopped,” he said, “because—”
He hesitated. But I knew some reference to that remark he had made just before he fainted was in his mind, and I was determined to know it.
He paused. But I knew he was thinking about that comment he made right before he passed out, and I was set on finding out what it was.
“Because ‘They’ve found another victim’?” I said, forcing a little laugh.
“Because ‘They’ve found another victim’?” I said, trying to laugh a bit.
“Exactly,” he answered, “exactly! I feel as positive of it as though—as though—I feel quite safe again, I mean,” he finished.
“Exactly,” he replied, “exactly! I feel as sure of it as though—as though—I feel pretty safe again, I mean,” he concluded.
He began to look curiously about him. The sunlight lay in hot patches on the sand. There was no wind. The willows were motionless. He slowly rose to feet.
He started to look around with curiosity. The sunlight was shining in warm spots on the sand. There was no breeze. The willows were still. He slowly got to his feet.
“Come,” he said; “I think if we look, we shall find it.”
"Come on," he said. "I think if we search, we'll find it."
He started off on a run, and I followed him. He kept to the banks, poking with a stick among the sandy bays and caves and little back-waters, myself always close on his heels.
He took off running, and I chased after him. He stayed near the banks, poking around with a stick among the sandy inlets and caves and little backwaters, while I was always right behind him.
“Ah!” he exclaimed presently, “ah!”
“Wow!” he exclaimed then, “wow!”
The tone of his voice somehow brought back to me a vivid sense of the horror of the last twenty-four hours, and I hurried up to join him. He was pointing with his stick at a large black object that lay half in the water and half on the sand. It appeared to be caught by some twisted willow roots so that the river could not sweep it away. A few hours before the spot must have been under water.
The tone of his voice suddenly reminded me of the terrible events of the last twenty-four hours, and I rushed to catch up with him. He was pointing with his stick at a large black object that was partly in the water and partly on the sand. It looked like it was snagged by some twisted willow roots, preventing the river from carrying it away. Just a few hours earlier, this area must have been underwater.
“See,” he said quietly, “the victim that made our escape possible!”
“Look,” he said softly, “the victim that made our getaway possible!”
And when I peered across his shoulder I saw that his stick rested on the body of a man. He turned it over. It was the corpse of a peasant, and the face was hidden in the sand. Clearly the man had been drowned, but a few hours before, and his body must have been swept down upon our island somewhere about the hour of the dawn—at the very time the fit had passed.
And when I looked over his shoulder, I saw that his stick was resting on the body of a man. He flipped it over. It was the corpse of a peasant, and his face was buried in the sand. It was obvious that the man had drowned just a few hours earlier, and his body must have washed ashore on our island around dawn—right at the moment the fit had passed.
“We must give it a decent burial, you know.”
“We need to give it a proper burial, you know.”
“I suppose so,” I replied. I shuddered a little in spite of myself, for there was something about the appearance of that poor drowned man that turned me cold.
“I guess so,” I replied. I shivered a bit despite myself, because there was something about the look of that poor drowned man that chilled me.
The Swede glanced up sharply at me, an undecipherable expression on his face, and began clambering down the bank. I followed him more leisurely. The current, I noticed, had torn away much of the clothing from the body, so that the neck and part of the chest lay bare.
The Swede looked up at me abruptly, his expression unreadable, and started climbing down the bank. I followed him at a more relaxed pace. I noticed that the current had pulled away a lot of the clothing from the body, leaving the neck and part of the chest exposed.
Halfway down the bank my companion suddenly stopped and held up his hand in warning; but either my foot slipped, or I had gained too much momentum to bring myself quickly to a halt, for I bumped into him and sent him forward with a sort of leap to save himself. We tumbled together on to the hard sand so that our feet splashed into the water. And, before anything could be done, we had collided a little heavily against the corpse.
Halfway down the bank, my friend suddenly stopped and raised his hand as a warning; but either I slipped, or I had too much momentum to stop quickly, because I bumped into him and sent him leaping forward to catch himself. We tumbled onto the hard sand, our feet splashing into the water. And before we could do anything, we had crashed into the corpse.
The Swede uttered a sharp cry. And I sprang back as if I had been shot.
The Swede let out a loud cry. I jumped back as if I had been shot.
At the moment we touched the body there rose from its surface the loud sound of humming—the sound of several hummings—which passed with a vast commotion as of winged things in the air about us and disappeared upwards into the sky, growing fainter and fainter till they finally ceased in the distance. It was exactly as though we had disturbed some living yet invisible creatures at work.
As soon as we touched the body, a loud humming sound rose from its surface—the sound of multiple hums—which erupted like a massive commotion of flying creatures around us and faded upwards into the sky, becoming fainter and fainter until it finally stopped in the distance. It felt exactly like we had disturbed some living but invisible beings at work.
My companion clutched me, and I think I clutched him, but before either of us had time properly to recover from the unexpected shock, we saw that a movement of the current was turning the corpse round so that it became released from the grip of the willow roots. A moment later it had turned completely over, the dead face uppermost, staring at the sky. It lay on the edge of the main stream. In another moment it would be swept away.
My companion held onto me, and I think I held onto him, but before we could fully process the sudden shock, we noticed that the current was turning the body so that it was freed from the willow roots. In a moment, it rolled completely over, the dead face now turned up, looking at the sky. It rested on the edge of the main stream. Soon, it would be carried away.
The Swede started to save it, shouting again something I did not catch about a “proper burial”—and then abruptly dropped upon his knees on the sand and covered his eyes with his hands. I was beside him in an instant.
The Swede began to save it, yelling again something I didn’t catch about a “proper burial”—and then suddenly dropped to his knees on the sand and covered his eyes with his hands. I was by his side in an instant.
I saw what he had seen.
I saw what he had seen.
For just as the body swung round to the current the face and the exposed chest turned full towards us, and showed plainly how the skin and flesh were indented with small hollows, beautifully formed, and exactly similar in shape and kind to the sand-funnels that we had found all over the island.
For as the body turned with the current, the face and the bare chest faced us fully, clearly revealing how the skin and flesh were marked with small, perfectly shaped hollows that were just like the sand-funnels we had discovered all over the island.
“Their mark!” I heard my companion mutter under his breath. “Their awful mark!”
“Their mark!” I heard my friend mutter under his breath. “Their horrible mark!”
And when I turned my eyes again from his ghastly face to the river, the current had done its work, and the body had been swept away into mid-stream and was already beyond our reach and almost out of sight, turning over and over on the waves like an otter.
And when I looked away from his horrifying face back to the river, the current had taken its toll, and the body had been carried into the middle of the stream, already out of our reach and nearly out of sight, rolling over on the waves like an otter.
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