This is a modern-English version of The Magic Skin, originally written by Balzac, Honoré de. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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THE MAGIC SKIN





By Honore De Balzac





Translated by Ellen Marriage





       To Monsieur Savary, Member of Le Academie des Sciences.
       To Mr. Savary, Member of the Academy of Sciences.
      [omitted: a drawing representing the serpentine
      path made by the tip of a stick when flourished.]

                            STERNE—Tristram Shandy, ch. cccxxii.
      [omitted: a drawing representing the serpentine
      path made by the tip of a stick when flourished.]

                            STERNE—Tristram Shandy, ch. cccxxii.





Contents

THE MAGIC SKIN

EPILOGUE

ADDENDUM






THE MAGIC SKIN





I. THE TALISMAN

Towards the end of the month of October 1829 a young man entered the Palais-Royal just as the gaming-houses opened, agreeably to the law which protects a passion by its very nature easily excisable. He mounted the staircase of one of the gambling hells distinguished by the number 36, without too much deliberation.

Towards the end of October 1829, a young man walked into the Palais-Royal right as the gaming houses opened, following the law that safeguards a habit that's naturally easy to cut out. He climbed the stairs of one of the gambling dens marked with the number 36, without much hesitation.

“Your hat, sir, if you please?” a thin, querulous voice called out. A little old man, crouching in the darkness behind a railing, suddenly rose and exhibited his features, carved after a mean design.

“Excuse me, sir, your hat, please?” a thin, whiny voice called out. A little old man, crouching in the shadows behind a railing, suddenly stood up and showed his face, which was shaped in a rather unflattering way.

As you enter a gaming-house the law despoils you of your hat at the outset. Is it by way of a parable, a divine revelation? Or by exacting some pledge or other, is not an infernal compact implied? Is it done to compel you to preserve a respectful demeanor towards those who are about to gain money of you? Or must the detective, who squats in our social sewers, know the name of your hatter, or your own, if you happen to have written it on the lining inside? Or, after all, is the measurement of your skull required for the compilation of statistics as to the cerebral capacity of gamblers? The executive is absolutely silent on this point. But be sure of this, that though you have scarcely taken a step towards the tables, your hat no more belongs to you now than you belong to yourself. Play possesses you, your fortune, your cap, your cane, your cloak.

As you walk into a gaming house, the law takes your hat right away. Is it like a parable, some divine insight? Or is it about getting you to make some kind of deal, suggesting an evil agreement? Is it meant to make you act respectfully toward those who are about to take your money? Or does the detective, lurking in our social underbelly, need to know the name of your hat maker, or your own name if you’ve written it inside? Or maybe they need your hat size for statistics on gamblers' brain capacity? The authorities don't say a word about it. But rest assured, even before you’ve made it to the tables, your hat is no longer yours, just as you no longer belong to yourself. The game consumes you—your wealth, your hat, your cane, your coat.

As you go out, it will be made clear to you, by a savage irony, that Play has yet spared you something, since your property is returned. For all that, if you bring a new hat with you, you will have to pay for the knowledge that a special costume is needed for a gambler.

As you leave, you'll realize, with a brutal twist of fate, that chance has still given you something, since your belongings are returned. However, if you show up with a new hat, you’ll pay the price for knowing that a specific look is required for someone who bets.

The evident astonishment with which the young man took a numbered tally in exchange for his hat, which was fortunately somewhat rubbed at the brim, showed clearly enough that his mind was yet untainted; and the little old man, who had wallowed from his youth up in the furious pleasures of a gambler’s life, cast a dull, indifferent glance over him, in which a philosopher might have seen wretchedness lying in the hospital, the vagrant lives of ruined folk, inquests on numberless suicides, life-long penal servitude and transportations to Guazacoalco.

The clear shock on the young man's face as he handed over his hat for a numbered ticket, which was luckily a bit scuffed at the brim, showed that he was still naive. The little old man, who had spent his entire life indulging in the wild pleasures of gambling, looked at him with a dull, uninterested gaze. A philosopher might have recognized the underlying misery in that glance—reflecting the distressed lives of people who had fallen on hard times, the countless investigations into suicides, and the harsh realities of lifelong imprisonment and deportations to Guazacoalco.

His pallid, lengthy visage appeared like a haggard embodiment of the passion reduced to its simplest terms. There were traces of past anguish in its wrinkles. He supported life on the glutinous soups at Darcet’s, and gambled away his meagre earnings day by day. Like some old hackney which takes no heed of the strokes of the whip, nothing could move him now. The stifled groans of ruined players, as they passed out, their mute imprecations, their stupefied faces, found him impassive. He was the spirit of Play incarnate. If the young man had noticed this sorry Cerberus, perhaps he would have said, “There is only a pack of cards in that heart of his.”

His pale, gaunt face looked like a worn-out version of passion stripped down to its basics. The wrinkles showed signs of past suffering. He survived on the greasy soups at Darcet’s and lost his little earnings gambling every day. Like some old, tired horse that ignores the whip's cracks, nothing could rouse him now. The muffled groans of broke gamblers as they left, their silent curses, their dazed expressions, left him unaffected. He was the embodiment of Gambling itself. If the young man had noticed this tragic figure, he might have said, “There’s nothing but a deck of cards in that heart of his.”

The stranger did not heed this warning writ in flesh and blood, put here, no doubt, by Providence, who has set loathing on the threshold of all evil haunts. He walked boldly into the saloon, where the rattle of coin brought his senses under the dazzling spell of an agony of greed. Most likely he had been drawn thither by that most convincing of Jean Jacques’ eloquent periods, which expresses, I think, this melancholy thought, “Yes, I can imagine that a man may take to gambling when he sees only his last shilling between him and death.”

The stranger ignored this warning written in flesh and blood, placed here, no doubt, by Providence, which has put disgust at the entrance of all evil places. He confidently walked into the saloon, where the sound of coins captivated his senses under the dazzling influence of overwhelming greed. He was probably drawn there by one of Jean Jacques’ most persuasive statements, which expresses, I think, this sad thought: “Yes, I can imagine that a man might start gambling when he sees only his last shilling standing between him and death.”

There is an illusion about a gambling saloon at night as vulgar as that of a bloodthirsty drama, and just as effective. The rooms are filled with players and onlookers, with poverty-stricken age, which drags itself thither in search of stimulation, with excited faces, and revels that began in wine, to end shortly in the Seine. The passion is there in full measure, but the great number of the actors prevents you from seeing the gambling-demon face to face. The evening is a harmony or chorus in which all take part, to which each instrument in the orchestra contributes his share. You would see there plenty of respectable people who have come in search of diversion, for which they pay as they pay for the pleasures of the theatre, or of gluttony, or they come hither as to some garret where they cheapen poignant regrets for three months to come.

There’s a vibe in a nighttime gambling hall that’s as crass as a violent play, and just as impactful. The rooms are packed with players and spectators, including old, broke folks dragging themselves in for a thrill, and excited faces, with parties that start with drinks and soon end up in the Seine. The passion is there in full force, but the large crowd makes it hard to confront the gambling demon directly. The night feels like a symphony where everyone participates, and every instrument in the orchestra adds its own note. You’d notice plenty of respectable people who have come looking for entertainment, paying just like they would for theater tickets or a fancy meal, or they’re here to cheapen their deep regrets for the next three months.

Do you understand all the force and frenzy in a soul which impatiently waits for the opening of a gambling hell? Between the daylight gambler and the player at night there is the same difference that lies between a careless husband and the lover swooning under his lady’s window. Only with morning comes the real throb of the passion and the craving in its stark horror. Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought, nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup of trente-et-quarante. At that accursed hour you encounter eyes whose calmness terrifies you, faces that fascinate, glances that seem as if they had power to turn the cards over and consume them. The grandest hours of a gambling saloon are not the opening ones. If Spain has bull-fights, and Rome once had her gladiators, Paris waxes proud of her Palais-Royal, where the inevitable roulettes cause blood to flow in streams, and the public can have the pleasure of watching without fear of their feet slipping in it.

Do you realize the intensity and madness in a soul that eagerly waits for the doors of a casino to open? The difference between a daytime gambler and a night player is like the contrast between a neglectful husband and the lover who swoons beneath his lady’s window. Only with morning does the true pulse of passion and the raw desperation come to light. Then you can truly see the gambler who hasn’t eaten, slept, thought, or truly lived; he has suffered so much under the burden of his bets, tormented by his insatiable desire for a chance at trente-et-quarante. At that cursed hour, you encounter eyes that hold a calmness that scares you, faces that captivate, glances that seem to have the power to flip the cards and devour them. The most thrilling moments in a casino are not the opening ones. If Spain has bullfights, and Rome once had her gladiators, Paris takes pride in her Palais-Royal, where the inescapable roulettes cause blood to flow freely, allowing the public to watch without fear of getting caught in it.

Take a quiet peep at the arena. How bare it looks! The paper on the walls is greasy to the height of your head, there is nothing to bring one reviving thought. There is not so much as a nail for the convenience of suicides. The floor is worn and dirty. An oblong table stands in the middle of the room, the tablecloth is worn by the friction of gold, but the straw-bottomed chairs about it indicate an odd indifference to luxury in the men who will lose their lives here in the quest of the fortune that is to put luxury within their reach.

Take a quiet look at the arena. How bare it is! The paper on the walls is greasy up to your head, and there's nothing to spark a refreshing thought. There isn't even a nail for those thinking of suicide. The floor is worn and dirty. An oblong table stands in the middle of the room; the tablecloth is frayed from the rubbing of gold, but the straw-bottomed chairs around it show an odd disregard for luxury among the men who will lose their lives here in pursuit of the fortune that is meant to bring them luxury.

This contradiction in humanity is seen wherever the soul reacts powerfully upon itself. The gallant would clothe his mistress in silks, would deck her out in soft Eastern fabrics, though he and she must lie on a truckle-bed. The ambitious dreamer sees himself at the summit of power, while he slavishly prostrates himself in the mire. The tradesman stagnates in his damp, unhealthy shop, while he builds a great mansion for his son to inherit prematurely, only to be ejected from it by law proceedings at his own brother’s instance.

This contradiction in humanity is evident wherever the soul reacts intensely to itself. The brave man would dress his girlfriend in silks and adorn her with soft Eastern fabrics, even though they have to sleep on a tiny bed. The ambitious dreamer imagines himself at the peak of power while he humbly bowes down in the mud. The shopkeeper is stuck in his damp, unhealthy store while he builds a grand house for his son to inherit too soon, only to be kicked out of it through legal action initiated by his own brother.

After all, is there a less pleasing thing in the world than a house of pleasure? Singular question! Man is always at strife with himself. His present woes give the lie to his hopes; yet he looks to a future which is not his, to indemnify him for these present sufferings; setting upon all his actions the seal of inconsequence and of the weakness of his nature. We have nothing here below in full measure but misfortune.

After all, is there anything less enjoyable than a house of pleasure? What a thought! People are always at war with themselves. Their current troubles contradict their hopes; yet, they still look to a future that isn’t theirs to make up for these present pains, marking all their actions with a sense of inconsistency and the weakness of their nature. The only thing we have in abundance down here is misfortune.

There were several gamblers in the room already when the young man entered. Three bald-headed seniors were lounging round the green table. Imperturbable as diplomatists, those plaster-cast faces of theirs betokened blunted sensibilities, and hearts which had long forgotten how to throb, even when a woman’s dowry was the stake. A young Italian, olive-hued and dark-haired, sat at one end, with his elbows on the table, seeming to listen to the presentiments of luck that dictate a gambler’s “Yes” or “No.” The glow of fire and gold was on that southern face. Some seven or eight onlookers stood by way of an audience, awaiting a drama composed of the strokes of chance, the faces of the actors, the circulation of coin, and the motion of the croupier’s rake, much as a silent, motionless crowd watches the headsman in the Place de Greve. A tall, thin man, in a threadbare coat, held a card in one hand, and a pin in the other, to mark the numbers of Red or Black. He seemed a modern Tantalus, with all the pleasures of his epoch at his lips, a hoardless miser drawing in imaginary gains, a sane species of lunatic who consoles himself in his misery by chimerical dreams, a man who touches peril and vice as a young priest handles the unconsecrated wafer in the white mass.

Several gamblers were already in the room when the young man walked in. Three bald older men were lounging around the green table. Calm as diplomats, their plaster-like faces showed dulled emotions, and hearts that had long forgotten how to feel, even when a woman’s dowry was on the line. A young Italian, with olive skin and dark hair, sat at one end, resting his elbows on the table, seemingly tuned into the feelings of luck that lead a gambler to say “Yes” or “No.” The warm glow of fire and gold lit up that southern face. About seven or eight onlookers stood nearby as an audience, waiting for a drama made up of chance, the expressions of the players, the movement of coins, and the motion of the dealer’s rake, much like a silent, unmoving crowd watches the executioner in the Place de Greve. A tall, thin man in a worn coat held a card in one hand and a pin in the other to mark the numbers of Red or Black. He seemed like a modern Tantalus, with all the pleasures of his time just out of reach, a hoarding miser fantasizing about imaginary gains, a rational kind of madman who comforts himself in his misery with illusory dreams, a man who touches danger and sin as a young priest touches the unconsecrated wafer in the white mass.

One or two experts at the game, shrewd speculators, had placed themselves opposite the bank, like old convicts who have lost all fear of the hulks; they meant to try two or three coups, and then to depart at once with the expected gains, on which they lived. Two elderly waiters dawdled about with their arms folded, looking from time to time into the garden from the windows, as if to show their insignificant faces as a sign to passers-by.

One or two experts at the game, clever speculators, positioned themselves across from the bank, like old convicts who have lost all fear of prison; they planned to try out a few strategies and then leave immediately with their anticipated winnings, which is what they relied on for a living. Two older waiters lingered around with their arms crossed, occasionally glancing out into the garden from the windows, as if to display their unremarkable faces as a signal to those passing by.

The croupier and banker threw a ghastly and withering glance at the punters, and cried, in a sharp voice, “Make your game!” as the young man came in. The silence seemed to grow deeper as all heads turned curiously towards the new arrival. Who would have thought it? The jaded elders, the fossilized waiters, the onlookers, the fanatical Italian himself, felt an indefinable dread at sight of the stranger. Is he not wretched indeed who can excite pity here? Must he not be very helpless to receive sympathy, ghastly in appearance to raise a shudder in these places, where pain utters no cry, where wretchedness looks gay, and despair is decorous? Such thoughts as these produced a new emotion in these torpid hearts as the young man entered. Were not executioners known to shed tears over the fair-haired, girlish heads that had to fall at the bidding of the Revolution?

The dealer and banker shot a chilling and scathing look at the gamblers and shouted in a sharp tone, “Place your bets!” as the young man walked in. The silence seemed to deepen as everyone turned their heads, intrigued by the newcomer. Who would have imagined it? The weary regulars, the stiff waitstaff, the curious onlookers, and even the fervent Italian felt an unexplainable sense of dread at the sight of the stranger. Is it not truly unfortunate for someone to evoke pity here? Must he not be incredibly vulnerable to receive sympathy, terrifying in appearance to create a shiver in these spaces, where pain makes no sound, where misery appears cheerful, and despair is polite? Such thoughts stirred a new feeling in these apathetic hearts as the young man entered. Were not executioners known to weep for the fair-haired, innocent heads that had to fall at the demand of the Revolution?

The gamblers saw at a glance a dreadful mystery in the novice’s face. His young features were stamped with a melancholy grace, his looks told of unsuccess and many blighted hopes. The dull apathy of the suicide had made his forehead so deadly pale, a bitter smile carved faint lines about the corners of his mouth, and there was an abandonment about him that was painful to see. Some sort of demon sparkled in the depths of his eye, which drooped, wearied perhaps with pleasure. Could it have been dissipation that had set its foul mark on the proud face, once pure and bright, and now brought low? Any doctor seeing the yellow circles about his eyelids, and the color in his cheeks, would have set them down to some affection of the heart or lungs, while poets would have attributed them to the havoc brought by the search for knowledge and to night-vigils by the student’s lamp.

The gamblers instantly saw a terrible mystery in the novice’s face. His young features had a sad grace, and his expression showed signs of failure and many shattered hopes. The dull apathy of someone contemplating suicide made his forehead look ghostly pale, a bitter smile etched faint lines around the corners of his mouth, and there was a sense of abandonment about him that was hard to watch. Some kind of demon sparkled in the depths of his eyes, which seemed tired, possibly from pleasure. Could it have been self-indulgence that had left its ugly mark on his once proud and bright face, now brought low? Any doctor seeing the yellow circles under his eyes and the color in his cheeks would likely attribute them to some heart or lung issue, while poets would suggest they were the result of the turmoil caused by the pursuit of knowledge and late-night studying by the student’s lamp.

But a complaint more fatal than any disease, a disease more merciless than genius or study, had drawn this young face, and had wrung a heart which dissipation, study, and sickness had scarcely disturbed. When a notorious criminal is taken to the convict’s prison, the prisoners welcome him respectfully, and these evil spirits in human shape, experienced in torments, bowed before an unheard-of anguish. By the depth of the wound which met their eyes, they recognized a prince among them, by the majesty of his unspoken irony, by the refined wretchedness of his garb. The frock-coat that he wore was well cut, but his cravat was on terms so intimate with his waistcoat that no one could suspect him of underlinen. His hands, shapely as a woman’s were not perfectly clean; for two days past indeed he had ceased to wear gloves. If the very croupier and the waiters shuddered, it was because some traces of the spell of innocence yet hung about his meagre, delicately-shaped form, and his scanty fair hair in its natural curls.

But a complaint more deadly than any illness, an illness more ruthless than talent or hard work, had marked this young face and twisted a heart that had barely been affected by indulgence, study, and sickness. When a notorious criminal is taken to prison, the inmates greet him with respect, and these wicked souls, well-versed in suffering, bowed before an unimaginable pain. By the severity of the wound they saw, they recognized a prince among them, by the majesty of his unspoken irony, by the elegant misery of his clothing. The frock coat he wore was well tailored, but his cravat was so worn that it was practically attached to his waistcoat, leaving no doubt about his state of undergarments. His hands, shaped like a woman’s, were not perfectly clean; indeed, he had stopped wearing gloves two days ago. If even the croupier and the waiters flinched, it was because some remnants of innocence still lingered around his thin, delicately-shaped form, and his sparse fair hair curled naturally.

He looked only about twenty-five years of age, and any trace of vice in his face seemed to be there by accident. A young constitution still resisted the inroads of lubricity. Darkness and light, annihilation and existence, seemed to struggle in him, with effects of mingled beauty and terror. There he stood like some erring angel that has lost his radiance; and these emeritus-professors of vice and shame were ready to bid the novice depart, even as some toothless crone might be seized with pity for a beautiful girl who offers herself up to infamy.

He looked only about twenty-five years old, and any hint of wrongdoing on his face seemed unintentional. His youthful body still resisted the temptations of corruption. It felt like darkness and light, destruction and life, were battling within him, creating a mix of beauty and fear. He stood there like a fallen angel that had lost its glow; and those experienced figures of vice and shame were eager to send the newcomer away, just like a toothless old woman might feel pity for a beautiful girl who is sacrificing herself to disgrace.

The young man went straight up to the table, and, as he stood there, flung down a piece of gold which he held in his hand, without deliberation. It rolled on to the Black; then, as strong natures can, he looked calmly, if anxiously, at the croupier, as if he held useless subterfuges in scorn.

The young man walked right up to the table and, as he stood there, tossed down a gold coin he was holding without thinking. It rolled onto the Black; then, like someone with a strong character, he looked at the croupier calmly, though with some anxiety, as if he viewed any trickery as pointless.

The interest this coup awakened was so great that the old gamesters laid nothing upon it; only the Italian, inspired by a gambler’s enthusiasm, smiled suddenly at some thought, and punted his heap of coin against the stranger’s stake.

The interest this coup sparked was so intense that the old players didn’t bet anything on it; only the Italian, fueled by a gambler’s excitement, suddenly smiled at some thought and wagered his pile of coins against the stranger’s bet.

The banker forgot to pronounce the phrases that use and wont have reduced to an inarticulate cry—“Make your game.... The game is made.... Bets are closed.” The croupier spread out the cards, and seemed to wish luck to the newcomer, indifferent as he was to the losses or gains of those who took part in these sombre pleasures. Every bystander thought he saw a drama, the closing scene of a noble life, in the fortunes of that bit of gold; and eagerly fixed his eyes on the prophetic cards; but however closely they watched the young man, they could discover not the least sign of feeling on his cool but restless face.

The banker forgot to say the lines that usually turned into a vague shout—“Make your bets.... The game is on.... Betting is closed.” The dealer laid out the cards and seemed to wish good luck to the newcomer, even though he didn’t care about the wins or losses of those involved in these dark pleasures. Every onlooker thought they were witnessing a drama, the final act of a noble life, in the fate of that little piece of gold; they eagerly focused on the telling cards, but no matter how closely they watched the young man, they couldn’t see even a hint of emotion on his cool yet restless face.

“Even! red wins,” said the croupier officially. A dumb sort of rattle came from the Italian’s throat when he saw the folded notes that the banker showered upon him, one after another. The young man only understood his calamity when the croupiers’s rake was extended to sweep away his last napoleon. The ivory touched the coin with a little click, as it swept it with the speed of an arrow into the heap of gold before the bank. The stranger turned pale at the lips, and softly shut his eyes, but he unclosed them again at once, and the red color returned as he affected the airs of an Englishman, to whom life can offer no new sensation, and disappeared without the glance full of entreaty for compassion that a desperate gamester will often give the bystanders. How much can happen in a second’s space; how many things depend on a throw of the die!

“Even! Red wins,” the dealer announced officially. A strange, guttural sound came from the Italian’s throat as he watched the banker shower him with folded notes, one after another. The young man only realized his misfortune when the dealer's rake came out to take away his last napoleon. The ivory touched the coin with a small click, quickly sweeping it into the pile of gold in front of the bank, like an arrow. The stranger’s lips went pale, and he softly shut his eyes, but he opened them again immediately, the color returning as he tried to adopt the demeanor of an Englishman, someone to whom life offers no new experiences, and he left without casting the desperate glance for pity that a struggling gambler often gives to the onlookers. How much can happen in a split second; how many things rely on a roll of the dice!

“That was his last cartridge, of course,” said the croupier, smiling after a moment’s silence, during which he picked up the coin between his finger and thumb and held it up.

“That was his last cartridge, of course,” said the dealer, smiling after a brief pause, during which he picked up the coin between his fingers and held it up.

“He is a cracked brain that will go and drown himself,” said a frequenter of the place. He looked round about at the other players, who all knew each other.

“He's a crazy person who would go and drown himself,” said a regular at the place. He looked around at the other players, who all knew each other.

“Bah!” said a waiter, as he took a pinch of snuff.

“Ugh!” said a waiter, as he took a pinch of snuff.

“If we had but followed his example,” said an old gamester to the others, as he pointed out the Italian.

“If we had just followed his example,” said an older gambler to the others, as he pointed out the Italian.

Everybody looked at the lucky player, whose hands shook as he counted his bank-notes.

Everyone stared at the fortunate player, whose hands trembled as he counted his cash.

“A voice seemed to whisper to me,” he said. “The luck is sure to go against that young man’s despair.”

“A voice seemed to whisper to me,” he said. “The luck is definitely going to turn against that young man’s despair.”

“He is a new hand,” said the banker, “or he would have divided his money into three parts to give himself more chance.”

“He's a newbie,” said the banker, “or he would have split his money into three parts to give himself a better chance.”

The young man went out without asking for his hat; but the old watch-dog, who had noted its shabby condition, returned it to him without a word. The gambler mechanically gave up the tally, and went downstairs whistling Di tanti Palpiti so feebly, that he himself scarcely heard the delicious notes.

The young man left without grabbing his hat, but the old watchdog, who noticed how worn it was, brought it back to him silently. The gambler absentmindedly handed over the tally and walked downstairs whistling Di tanti Palpiti so weakly that he could barely hear the lovely notes himself.

He found himself immediately under the arcades of the Palais-Royal, reached the Rue Saint Honore, took the direction of the Tuileries, and crossed the gardens with an undecided step. He walked as if he were in some desert, elbowed by men whom he did not see, hearing through all the voices of the crowd one voice alone—the voice of Death. He was lost in the thoughts that benumbed him at last, like the criminals who used to be taken in carts from the Palais de Justice to the Place de Greve, where the scaffold awaited them reddened with all the blood spilt here since 1793.

He found himself right under the arcades of the Palais-Royal, reached Rue Saint-Honoré, headed towards the Tuileries, and crossed the gardens with an unsure stride. He walked as if he were in a desert, surrounded by people he couldn’t see, hearing through the crowd one voice alone—the voice of Death. He got lost in thoughts that eventually numbed him, like the criminals who used to be carted from the Palais de Justice to Place de Grève, where the scaffold awaited them, stained with all the blood spilled here since 1793.

There is something great and terrible about suicide. Most people’s downfalls are not dangerous; they are like children who have not far to fall, and cannot injure themselves; but when a great nature is dashed down, he is bound to fall from a height. He must have been raised almost to the skies; he has caught glimpses of some heaven beyond his reach. Vehement must the storms be which compel a soul to seek for peace from the trigger of a pistol.

There’s something profound and tragic about suicide. For most people, their failures aren’t life-threatening; they’re like kids who don’t have far to drop and can’t really hurt themselves. But when someone with a great spirit falls, it’s always a long way down. They must have reached heights that seem almost heavenly, getting a taste of something beyond their grasp. The storms that drive a soul to find peace in the pull of a trigger must be incredibly fierce.

How much young power starves and pines away in a garret for want of a friend, for lack of a woman’s consolation, in the midst of millions of fellow-creatures, in the presence of a listless crowd that is burdened by its wealth! When one remembers all this, suicide looms large. Between a self-sought death and the abundant hopes whose voices call a young man to Paris, God only knows what may intervene; what contending ideas have striven within the soul; what poems have been set aside; what moans and what despair have been repressed; what abortive masterpieces and vain endeavors! Every suicide is an awful poem of sorrow. Where will you find a work of genius floating above the seas of literature that can compare with this paragraph:

How much young talent goes unnoticed and withers away in a small room, starving for friendship and the comfort of a woman, surrounded by millions of people and a indifferent crowd weighed down by its wealth! When you think about all this, the idea of suicide feels overwhelming. Between choosing death and the countless hopes that draw a young man to Paris, only God knows what might come between; what conflicting thoughts have battled inside the soul; what poems have been put aside; what cries and despair have been hidden; what failed masterpieces and futile efforts! Every suicide is a tragic poem of sorrow. Where can you find a work of genius in literature that compares to this paragraph:

  “Yesterday, at four o’clock, a young woman threw herself into the
  Seine from the Pont des Arts.”
 
  “Yesterday, at four o'clock, a young woman jumped into the Seine from the Pont des Arts.”

Dramas and romances pale before this concise Parisian phrase; so must even that old frontispiece, The Lamentations of the glorious king of Kaernavan, put in prison by his children, the sole remaining fragment of a lost work that drew tears from Sterne at the bare perusal—the same Sterne who deserted his own wife and family.

Dramas and romances are nothing compared to this sharp Parisian phrase; neither can that old frontispiece, The Lamentations of the glorious king of Kaernavan, put in prison by his children, the last piece of a lost work that made Sterne cry just by reading it—the same Sterne who abandoned his own wife and family.

The stranger was beset with such thoughts as these, which passed in fragments through his mind, like tattered flags fluttering above the combat. If he set aside for a moment the burdens of consciousness and of memory, to watch the flower heads gently swayed by the breeze among the green thickets, a revulsion came over him, life struggled against the oppressive thought of suicide, and his eyes rose to the sky: gray clouds, melancholy gusts of the wind, the stormy atmosphere, all decreed that he should die.

The stranger was overwhelmed with thoughts like these, which flickered through his mind like torn flags fluttering above a battle. When he briefly set aside the weight of his consciousness and memories to gaze at the flower heads swaying gently in the breeze among the green bushes, a wave of revulsion hit him. Life fought back against the heavy thought of suicide, and he looked up at the sky: gray clouds, sorrowful gusts of wind, and the stormy atmosphere all seemed to declare that he should die.

He bent his way toward the Pont Royal, musing over the last fancies of others who had gone before him. He smiled to himself as he remembered that Lord Castlereagh had satisfied the humblest of our needs before he cut his throat, and that the academician Auger had sought for his snuff-box as he went to his death. He analyzed these extravagances, and even examined himself; for as he stood aside against the parapet to allow a porter to pass, his coat had been whitened somewhat by the contact, and he carefully brushed the dust from his sleeve, to his own surprise. He reached the middle of the arch, and looked forebodingly at the water.

He made his way to the Pont Royal, reflecting on the quirks of those who had come before him. He smiled to himself as he recalled that Lord Castlereagh had tended to the simplest of our needs before taking his own life, and that the academician Auger had searched for his snuff-box as he faced his end. He analyzed these oddities and even examined his own behavior; as he stepped aside against the parapet to let a porter pass, he noticed his coat had gotten a bit dusty from the contact, and he instinctively brushed off the dust from his sleeve, surprising himself. He reached the middle of the arch and looked apprehensively at the water.

“Wretched weather for drowning yourself,” said a ragged old woman, who grinned at him; “isn’t the Seine cold and dirty?”

“Terrible weather for killing yourself,” said a scruffy old woman, who smirked at him; “isn’t the Seine cold and dirty?”

His answer was a ready smile, which showed the frenzied nature of his courage; then he shivered all at once as he saw at a distance, by the door of the Tuileries, a shed with an inscription above it in letters twelve inches high: THE ROYAL HUMANE SOCIETY’S APPARATUS.

His response was a quick smile, revealing the frantic side of his bravery; then he suddenly shivered as he spotted, in the distance by the door of the Tuileries, a shed with a sign above it in letters a foot high: THE ROYAL HUMANE SOCIETY’S APPARATUS.

A vision of M. Dacheux rose before him, equipped by his philanthropy, calling out and setting in motion the too efficacious oars which break the heads of drowning men, if unluckily they should rise to the surface; he saw a curious crowd collecting, running for a doctor, preparing fumigations, he read the maundering paragraph in the papers, put between notes on a festivity and on the smiles of a ballet-dancer; he heard the francs counted down by the prefect of police to the watermen. As a corpse, he was worth fifteen francs; but now while he lived he was only a man of talent without patrons, without friends, without a mattress to lie on, or any one to speak a word for him—a perfect social cipher, useless to a State which gave itself no trouble about him.

A vision of M. Dacheux appeared before him, fueled by his philanthropy, calling out and activating the overzealous oars that could strike the heads of drowning men if, by chance, they surfaced; he saw a curious crowd gathering, rushing to find a doctor, getting ready for fumigations, he read the rambling paragraph in the newspapers, wedged between notes on a celebration and the smiles of a ballet dancer; he heard the francs being counted out by the police commissioner to the boatmen. As a corpse, he was worth fifteen francs; but now, while he was alive, he was just a talented man with no supporters, no friends, no mattress to lie on, or anyone to speak up for him—a complete social nonentity, of no use to a State that showed no concern for him.

A death in broad daylight seemed degrading to him; he made up his mind to die at night so as to bequeath an unrecognizable corpse to a world which had disregarded the greatness of life. He began his wanderings again, turning towards the Quai Voltaire, imitating the lagging gait of an idler seeking to kill time. As he came down the steps at the end of the bridge, his notice was attracted by the second-hand books displayed on the parapet, and he was on the point of bargaining for some. He smiled, thrust his hands philosophically into his pockets, and fell to strolling on again with a proud disdain in his manner, when he heard to his surprise some coin rattling fantastically in his pocket.

A death in broad daylight felt degrading to him; he decided he would die at night to leave behind an unrecognizable corpse in a world that had overlooked the greatness of life. He started wandering again, heading towards Quai Voltaire, mimicking the slow stroll of someone just trying to pass the time. As he came down the steps at the end of the bridge, he noticed the second-hand books laid out on the railing and almost started to haggle for some. He smiled, shoved his hands thoughtfully into his pockets, and continued to stroll with a proud air when, to his surprise, he heard some coins jingling in his pocket.

A smile of hope lit his face, and slid from his lips over his features, over his brow, and brought a joyful light to his eyes and his dark cheeks. It was a spark of happiness like one of the red dots that flit over the remains of a burnt scrap of paper; but as it is with the black ashes, so it was with his face, it became dull again when the stranger quickly drew out his hand and perceived three pennies. “Ah, kind gentleman! carita, carita; for the love of St. Catherine! only a halfpenny to buy some bread!”

A smile of hope brightened his face and spread from his lips to his features, over his brow, bringing a joyful light to his eyes and dark cheeks. It was a spark of happiness, like the red dots that dance over the remains of burnt scraps of paper; but just like those black ashes, his expression turned dull again when the stranger quickly pulled out his hand and revealed three pennies. “Ah, kind sir! carita, carita; for the love of St. Catherine! Just a halfpenny to buy some bread!”

A little chimney sweeper, with puffed cheeks, all black with soot, and clad in tatters, held out his hand to beg for the man’s last pence.

A little chimney sweep, with puffy cheeks, completely covered in soot, and dressed in rags, extended his hand to beg for the man's last pennies.

Two paces from the little Savoyard stood an old pauvre honteux, sickly and feeble, in wretched garments of ragged druggeting, who asked in a thick, muffled voice:

Two steps away from the little Savoyard stood an old pauvre honteux, weak and frail, dressed in tattered, ragged clothes, who asked in a thick, muffled voice:

“Anything you like to give, monsieur; I will pray to God for you...”

“Anything you want to give, sir; I will pray to God for you...”

But the young man turned his eyes on him, and the old beggar stopped without another word, discerning in that mournful face an abandonment of wretchedness more bitter than his own.

But the young man looked at him, and the old beggar paused without saying anything else, recognizing in that sad face a sense of despair more painful than his own.

La carita! la carita!”

The little face! the little face!”

The stranger threw the coins to the old man and the child, left the footway, and turned towards the houses; the harrowing sight of the Seine fretted him beyond endurance.

The stranger tossed the coins to the old man and the child, stepped off the path, and headed towards the houses; the heartbreaking view of the Seine overwhelmed him beyond what he could bear.

“May God lengthen your days!” cried the two beggars.

“May God extend your life!” shouted the two beggars.

As he reached the shop window of a print-seller, this man on the brink of death met a young woman alighting from a showy carriage. He looked in delight at her prettiness, at the pale face appropriately framed by the satin of her fashionable bonnet. Her slender form and graceful movements entranced him. Her skirt had been slightly raised as she stepped to the pavement, disclosing a daintily fitting white stocking over the delicate outlines beneath. The young lady went into the shop, purchased albums and sets of lithographs; giving several gold coins for them, which glittered and rang upon the counter. The young man, seemingly occupied with the prints in the window, fixed upon the fair stranger a gaze as eager as man can give, to receive in exchange an indifferent glance, such as lights by accident on a passer-by. For him it was a leave-taking of love and of woman; but his final and strenuous questioning glance was neither understood nor felt by the slight-natured woman there; her color did not rise, her eyes did not droop. What was it to her? one more piece of adulation, yet another sigh only prompted the delightful thought at night, “I looked rather well to-day.”

As he approached the print shop window, this man on the verge of death saw a young woman getting out of a fancy carriage. He admired her beauty, her pale face perfectly framed by the satin of her stylish bonnet. Her slim figure and graceful movements captivated him. As she stepped onto the pavement, her skirt lifted slightly, revealing a delicately fitting white stocking over the soft curves beneath. The young lady entered the shop and bought albums and sets of lithographs, paying with several gold coins that sparkled and clinked on the counter. The young man, seemingly engrossed in the prints in the window, gazed eagerly at the beautiful stranger, only to receive an indifferent glance, like one given to a random passerby. For him, it was a farewell to love and femininity; but his desperate, questioning look went unnoticed by the delicate woman; her color didn’t change, and her eyes didn’t drop. What did it matter to her? Just another compliment and another sigh that fueled the delightful thought at night, “I looked pretty good today.”

The young man quickly turned to another picture, and only left it when she returned to her carriage. The horses started off, the final vision of luxury and refinement went under an eclipse, just as that life of his would soon do also. Slowly and sadly he followed the line of the shops, listlessly examining the specimens on view. When the shops came to an end, he reviewed the Louvre, the Institute, the towers of Notre Dame, of the Palais, the Pont des Arts; all these public monuments seemed to have taken their tone from the heavy gray sky.

The young man quickly turned to another image and only left it when she returned to her carriage. The horses took off, and the last glimpse of luxury and elegance faded away, just like his life soon would. Slowly and sadly, he walked along the row of shops, aimlessly looking at the items on display. When the shops ended, he gazed at the Louvre, the Institute, the towers of Notre Dame, the Palais, and the Pont des Arts; all these public monuments seemed to reflect the gloomy gray sky.

Fitful gleams of light gave a foreboding look to Paris; like a pretty woman, the city has mysterious fits of ugliness or beauty. So the outer world seemed to be in a plot to steep this man about to die in a painful trance. A prey to the maleficent power which acts relaxingly upon us by the fluid circulating through our nerves, his whole frame seemed gradually to experience a dissolving process. He felt the anguish of these throes passing through him in waves, and the houses and the crowd seemed to surge to and fro in a mist before his eyes. He tried to escape the agitation wrought in his mind by the revulsions of his physical nature, and went toward the shop of a dealer in antiquities, thinking to give a treat to his senses, and to spend the interval till nightfall in bargaining over curiosities.

Flickering lights cast an unsettling vibe over Paris; like a beautiful woman, the city has its own mysterious moments of charm and ugliness. It felt as if the outside world was conspiring to plunge this dying man into a painful daze. Under the influence of a sinister force that relaxes us through the nerves, his entire body seemed to be slowly breaking down. He could feel the waves of agony washing over him, while the buildings and the crowd appeared to sway in a haze before his eyes. He tried to escape the turmoil in his mind caused by the turmoil in his body and headed toward an antique shop, hoping to indulge his senses and kill time until nightfall by haggling over curiosities.

He sought, one might say, to regain courage and to find a stimulant, like a criminal who doubts his power to reach the scaffold. The consciousness of approaching death gave him, for the time being, the intrepidity of a duchess with a couple of lovers, so that he entered the place with an abstracted look, while his lips displayed a set smile like a drunkard’s. Had not life, or rather had not death, intoxicated him? Dizziness soon overcame him again. Things appeared to him in strange colors, or as making slight movements; his irregular pulse was no doubt the cause; the blood that sometimes rushed like a burning torrent through his veins, and sometimes lay torpid and stagnant as tepid water. He merely asked leave to see if the shop contained any curiosities which he required.

He was trying, one could say, to muster up some courage and find a boost, like a criminal who questions his ability to face the gallows. The awareness of impending death gave him, for the moment, the boldness of a duchess with a couple of lovers, so he walked into the place with a distant look, while his lips held a stiff smile like a drunk person's. Hadn't life—or rather, hadn't death—made him feel this way? Dizziness soon hit him again. Everything seemed to him in odd colors, or appearing to shift slightly; his irregular heartbeat was probably to blame; the blood that sometimes surged through his veins like a scorching torrent, and sometimes lay still and sluggish like lukewarm water. He simply asked for permission to see if the shop had any curiosities he needed.

A plump-faced young shopman with red hair, in an otter-skin cap, left an old peasant woman in charge of the shop—a sort of feminine Caliban, employed in cleaning a stove made marvelous by Bernard Palissy’s work. This youth remarked carelessly:

A chubby-faced young shopkeeper with red hair, wearing an otter-skin cap, left an elderly peasant woman in charge of the store—a kind of female Caliban, busy cleaning a stove made stunning by Bernard Palissy's craftsmanship. This young man said casually:

“Look round, monsieur! We have nothing very remarkable here downstairs; but if I may trouble you to go up to the first floor, I will show you some very fine mummies from Cairo, some inlaid pottery, and some carved ebony—genuine Renaissance work, just come in, and of perfect beauty.”

“Take a look around, sir! We don't have anything too special down here; but if you wouldn’t mind heading up to the first floor, I can show you some amazing mummies from Cairo, some inlaid pottery, and some carved ebony—authentic Renaissance pieces, just arrived, and absolutely beautiful.”

In the stranger’s fearful position this cicerone’s prattle and shopman’s empty talk seemed like the petty vexations by which narrow minds destroy a man of genius. But as he must even go through with it, he appeared to listen to his guide, answering him by gestures or monosyllables; but imperceptibly he arrogated the privilege of saying nothing, and gave himself up without hindrance to his closing meditations, which were appalling. He had a poet’s temperament, his mind had entered by chance on a vast field; and he must see perforce the dry bones of twenty future worlds.

In the stranger’s uncomfortable situation, the guide’s chatter and the shopkeeper’s meaningless talk felt like the annoying distractions that small-minded people use to undermine a genius. But since he had to go through with it, he pretended to listen to his guide, responding with gestures or one-word answers; yet, without realizing it, he claimed the right to say nothing and immersed himself in his deep thoughts, which were disturbing. He had a poet’s nature, and his mind had stumbled into a vast landscape; he couldn’t help but confront the bare remnants of twenty future worlds.

At a first glance the place presented a confused picture in which every achievement, human and divine, was mingled. Crocodiles, monkeys, and serpents stuffed with straw grinned at glass from church windows, seemed to wish to bite sculptured heads, to chase lacquered work, or to scramble up chandeliers. A Sevres vase, bearing Napoleon’s portrait by Mme. Jacotot, stood beside a sphinx dedicated to Sesostris. The beginnings of the world and the events of yesterday were mingled with grotesque cheerfulness. A kitchen jack leaned against a pyx, a republican sabre on a mediaeval hackbut. Mme. du Barry, with a star above her head, naked, and surrounded by a cloud, seemed to look longingly out of Latour’s pastel at an Indian chibook, while she tried to guess the purpose of the spiral curves that wound towards her. Instruments of death, poniards, curious pistols, and disguised weapons had been flung down pell-mell among the paraphernalia of daily life; porcelain tureens, Dresden plates, translucent cups from china, old salt-cellars, comfit-boxes belonging to feudal times. A carved ivory ship sped full sail on the back of a motionless tortoise.

At first glance, the place showed a jumbled scene where every achievement, both human and divine, was mixed together. Crocodiles, monkeys, and straw-stuffed snakes grinned from church windows, seeming to want to bite sculpted heads, chase after lacquered items, or climb up chandeliers. A Sevres vase featuring Napoleon's portrait by Mme. Jacotot stood next to a sphinx dedicated to Sesostris. The origins of the world and recent events were blended with a strange cheerfulness. A kitchen jack leaned against a pyx, and a republican saber rested on a medieval hackbut. Mme. du Barry, with a star above her head, appeared naked and surrounded by a cloud, gazing longingly from Latour’s pastel at an Indian chibook, trying to decipher the purpose of the spiral curves leading toward her. Instruments of death—daggers, peculiar pistols, and hidden weapons—were tossed haphazardly among everyday items: porcelain tureens, Dresden plates, translucent china cups, old salt cellars, and confections boxes from feudal times. A carved ivory ship sailed full tilt on the back of a motionless tortoise.

The Emperor Augustus remained unmoved and imperial with an air-pump thrust into one eye. Portraits of French sheriffs and Dutch burgomasters, phlegmatic now as when in life, looked down pallid and unconcerned on the chaos of past ages below them.

The Emperor Augustus stayed calm and regal with an air pump jammed into one eye. Portraits of French sheriffs and Dutch mayors, just as stoic now as they were in life, looked down pale and indifferent at the chaos of past ages beneath them.

Every land of earth seemed to have contributed some stray fragment of its learning, some example of its art. Nothing seemed lacking to this philosophical kitchen-midden, from a redskin’s calumet, a green and golden slipper from the seraglio, a Moorish yataghan, a Tartar idol, to the soldier’s tobacco pouch, to the priest’s ciborium, and the plumes that once adorned a throne. This extraordinary combination was rendered yet more bizarre by the accidents of lighting, by a multitude of confused reflections of various hues, by the sharp contrast of blacks and whites. Broken cries seemed to reach the ear, unfinished dramas seized upon the imagination, smothered lights caught the eye. A thin coating of inevitable dust covered all the multitudinous corners and convolutions of these objects of various shapes which gave highly picturesque effects.

Every part of the earth seemed to have contributed some random piece of its knowledge and examples of its art. Nothing appeared to be missing in this philosophical collection, from a Native American's peace pipe, a bright green and gold slipper from a harem, a Moorish dagger, a Tartar idol, to a soldier's tobacco pouch, a priest's ceremonial vessel, and the feathers that once decorated a throne. This extraordinary mix was made even more strange by the way light fell on it, with countless reflections in different colors, and the sharp contrasts of black and white. Broken sounds seemed to fill the air, unfinished stories captured the imagination, and dim lights caught the eye. A thin layer of unavoidable dust covered all the countless corners and twists of these variously shaped objects, creating striking visual effects.

First of all, the stranger compared the three galleries which civilization, cults, divinities, masterpieces, dominions, carousals, sanity, and madness had filled to repletion, to a mirror with numerous facets, each depicting a world. After this first hazy idea he would fain have selected his pleasures; but by dint of using his eyes, thinking and musing, a fever began to possess him, caused perhaps by the gnawing pain of hunger. The spectacle of so much existence, individual or national, to which these pledges bore witness, ended by numbing his senses—the purpose with which he entered the shop was fulfilled. He had left the real behind, and had climbed gradually up to an ideal world; he had attained to the enchanted palace of ecstasy, whence the universe appeared to him by fragments and in shapes of flame, as once the future blazed out before the eyes of St. John in Patmos.

First off, the stranger compared the three galleries filled to the brim with civilization, cults, deities, masterpieces, realms, celebrations, sanity, and madness to a mirror with many sides, each reflecting a different world. After this initial vague thought, he wanted to pick his pleasures, but as he kept looking, thinking, and pondering, a fever started to take hold of him, possibly fueled by the gnawing ache of hunger. The sight of so much existence, both individual and national, that these artifacts represented, eventually numbed his senses—the goal with which he entered the shop was achieved. He had left reality behind and gradually ascended to an ideal world; he had reached the magical palace of ecstasy, from where the universe appeared to him in fragments and shapes of fire, just as the future had once glimmered before St. John in Patmos.

A crowd of sorrowing faces, beneficent and appalling, dark and luminous, far and near, gathered in numbers, in myriads, in whole generations. Egypt, rigid and mysterious, arose from her sands in the form of a mummy swathed in black bandages; then the Pharaohs swallowed up nations, that they might build themselves a tomb; and he beheld Moses and the Hebrews and the desert, and a solemn antique world. Fresh and joyous, a marble statue spoke to him from a twisted column of the pleasure-loving myths of Greece and Ionia. Ah! who would not have smiled with him to see, against the earthen red background, the brown-faced maiden dancing with gleeful reverence before the god Priapus, wrought in the fine clay of an Etruscan vase? The Latin queen caressed her chimera.

A crowd of grieving faces, both kind and terrifying, dark and bright, near and far, gathered in large numbers, in the thousands, across generations. Egypt, stiff and mysterious, rose from her sands like a mummy wrapped in black bandages; then the Pharaohs consumed entire nations to build their tombs; and he saw Moses and the Hebrews and the desert, and a grand ancient world. Fresh and joyful, a marble statue called to him from a twisted column of the pleasure-seeking myths of Greece and Ionia. Ah! who wouldn’t have smiled with him to see, against the earthy red backdrop, the brown-faced girl joyfully dancing in reverent celebration before the god Priapus, created in the fine clay of an Etruscan vase? The Latin queen lovingly embraced her chimera.

The whims of Imperial Rome were there in life, the bath was disclosed, the toilette of a languid Julia, dreaming, waiting for her Tibullus. Strong with the might of Arabic spells, the head of Cicero evoked memories of a free Rome, and unrolled before him the scrolls of Titus Livius. The young man beheld Senatus Populusque Romanus; consuls, lictors, togas with purple fringes; the fighting in the Forum, the angry people, passed in review before him like the cloudy faces of a dream.

The whims of Imperial Rome were evident in everyday life; the baths were open, and Julia, languid and dreamy, awaited her Tibullus. Powerful as Arabic spells, Cicero's head brought back memories of a free Rome and revealed the scrolls of Titus Livius. The young man saw Senatus Populusque Romanus; consuls, lictors, togas with purple fringes; the fighting in the Forum and the angry crowd passed before him like the hazy faces of a dream.

Then Christian Rome predominated in his vision. A painter had laid heaven open; he beheld the Virgin Mary wrapped in a golden cloud among the angels, shining more brightly than the sun, receiving the prayers of sufferers, on whom this second Eve Regenerate smiles pityingly. At the touch of a mosaic, made of various lavas from Vesuvius and Etna, his fancy fled to the hot tawny south of Italy. He was present at Borgia’s orgies, he roved among the Abruzzi, sought for Italian love intrigues, grew ardent over pale faces and dark, almond-shaped eyes. He shivered over midnight adventures, cut short by the cool thrust of a jealous blade, as he saw a mediaeval dagger with a hilt wrought like lace, and spots of rust like splashes of blood upon it.

Then Christian Rome filled his vision. A painter had opened up heaven; he saw the Virgin Mary wrapped in a golden cloud among the angels, shining brighter than the sun, receiving the prayers of those in pain, upon whom this second Eve, renewed, smiled with compassion. At the touch of a mosaic made from various lavas from Vesuvius and Etna, his imagination flew to the hot, tawny south of Italy. He witnessed Borgia’s parties, roamed through the Abruzzo region, searched for Italian love affairs, and grew passionate over pale faces and dark, almond-shaped eyes. He felt a chill from midnight escapades, cut short by the sharp stab of a jealous blade, as he saw a medieval dagger with a hilt designed like lace, and rust spots that looked like splashes of blood on it.

India and its religions took the shape of the idol with his peaked cap of fantastic form, with little bells, clad in silk and gold. Close by, a mat, as pretty as the bayadere who once lay upon it, still gave out a faint scent of sandal wood. His fancy was stirred by a goggle-eyed Chinese monster, with mouth awry and twisted limbs, the invention of a people who, grown weary of the monotony of beauty, found an indescribable pleasure in an infinite variety of ugliness. A salt-cellar from Benvenuto Cellini’s workshop carried him back to the Renaissance at its height, to the time when there was no restraint on art or morals, when torture was the sport of sovereigns; and from their councils, churchmen with courtesans’ arms about them issued decrees of chastity for simple priests.

India and its religions took the form of an idol wearing a peaked cap with a fantastic design, adorned with little bells, dressed in silk and gold. Nearby, a mat, as beautiful as the bayadere who once lay on it, still emitted a faint scent of sandalwood. His imagination was sparked by a goggle-eyed Chinese monster, with a crooked mouth and twisted limbs, created by a people who, tired of the monotony of beauty, discovered an indescribable joy in an endless variety of ugliness. A salt cellar from Benvenuto Cellini’s workshop transported him back to the height of the Renaissance, to a time when there were no limits on art or morals, when torture was a sport for rulers; and from their councils, church leaders, with courtesans' arms around them, proclaimed rules of chastity for ordinary priests.

On a cameo he saw the conquests of Alexander, the massacres of Pizarro in a matchbox, and religious wars disorderly, fanatical, and cruel, in the shadows of a helmet. Joyous pictures of chivalry were called up by a suit of Milanese armor, brightly polished and richly wrought; a paladin’s eyes seemed to sparkle yet under the visor.

On a small cameo, he saw the victories of Alexander, the brutal killings of Pizarro in a matchbox, and chaotic, fanatical, and cruel religious wars in the shadows of a helmet. Joyful images of chivalry were evoked by a suit of Milanese armor, shiny and beautifully crafted; a paladin's eyes seemed to gleam even behind the visor.

This sea of inventions, fashions, furniture, works of art and fiascos, made for him a poem without end. Shapes and colors and projects all lived again for him, but his mind received no clear and perfect conception. It was the poet’s task to complete the sketches of the great master, who had scornfully mingled on his palette the hues of the numberless vicissitudes of human life. When the world at large at last released him, when he had pondered over many lands, many epochs, and various empires, the young man came back to the life of the individual. He impersonated fresh characters, and turned his mind to details, rejecting the life of nations as a burden too overwhelming for a single soul.

This ocean of inventions, trends, furniture, artworks, and disasters created an endless poem for him. Shapes, colors, and ideas sprang back to life, but his mind couldn't grasp a clear and perfect idea. It was the poet's job to finish the sketches of the great master, who had carelessly mixed together the colors of countless ups and downs of human existence. When the world finally let him go, after he had reflected on many places, many times, and various empires, the young man returned to the life of the individual. He took on new characters and focused on details, dismissing the life of nations as a burden too heavy for one person to carry.

Yonder was a sleeping child modeled in wax, a relic of Ruysch’s collection, an enchanting creation which brought back the happiness of his own childhood. The cotton garment of a Tahitian maid next fascinated him; he beheld the primitive life of nature, the real modesty of naked chastity, the joys of an idleness natural to mankind, a peaceful fate by a slow river of sweet water under a plantain tree that bears its pleasant manna without the toil of man. Then all at once he became a corsair, investing himself with the terrible poetry that Lara has given to the part: the thought came at the sight of the mother-of-pearl tints of a myriad sea-shells, and grew as he saw madrepores redolent of the sea-weeds and the storms of the Atlantic.

There was a sleeping child shaped like wax, a piece from Ruysch’s collection, a beautiful creation that reminded him of the happiness of his own childhood. The cotton dress of a Tahitian girl captivated him next; he witnessed the simple life of nature, the true modesty of innocent purity, and the pleasures of a natural idleness that comes easily to humanity, a serene existence by a slow-flowing river of fresh water beneath a banana tree that yields its sweet fruit without human effort. Then suddenly, he imagined himself as a pirate, wrapping himself in the intense poetry that Lara has given to the role: the idea struck him as he looked at the pearlescent colors of countless sea shells, and it grew as he saw coral reefs filled with the scent of seaweed and the storms of the Atlantic.

The sea was forgotten again at a distant view of exquisite miniatures; he admired a precious missal in manuscript, adorned with arabesques in gold and blue. Thoughts of peaceful life swayed him; he devoted himself afresh to study and research, longing for the easy life of the monk, devoid alike of cares and pleasures; and from the depths of his cell he looked out upon the meadows, woods, and vineyards of his convent. Pausing before some work of Teniers, he took for his own the helmet of the soldier or the poverty of the artisan; he wished to wear a smoke-begrimed cap with these Flemings, to drink their beer and join their game at cards, and smiled upon the comely plumpness of a peasant woman. He shivered at a snowstorm by Mieris; he seemed to take part in Salvator Rosa’s battle-piece; he ran his fingers over a tomahawk form Illinois, and felt his own hair rise as he touched a Cherokee scalping-knife. He marveled over the rebec that he set in the hands of some lady of the land, drank in the musical notes of her ballad, and in the twilight by the gothic arch above the hearth he told his love in a gloom so deep that he could not read his answer in her eyes.

The sea faded from view as he admired a beautiful miniatures collection; he appreciated a precious manuscript missal decorated with gold and blue designs. Thoughts of a peaceful life filled his mind; he dedicated himself once again to study and research, yearning for the uncomplicated life of a monk, free from both worries and pleasures. From the depths of his cell, he gazed out at the meadows, woods, and vineyards of his monastery. Pausing in front of a painting by Teniers, he imagined himself with the soldier’s helmet or the artisan's struggles; he wanted to wear a smoke-stained cap among the Flemings, drink their beer, and join their card games, while smiling at the pleasant curves of a peasant woman. He shivered at a snowstorm depicted by Mieris; he felt involved in Salvator Rosa’s battle scene; he ran his fingers over a tomahawk from Illinois and felt a chill run down his spine as he touched a Cherokee scalping knife. He admired the rebec held by some lady of the land, absorbed the melody of her song, and in the twilight beneath the gothic arch over the hearth, he confessed his love in such deep darkness that he couldn’t read her response in her eyes.

He caught at all delights, at all sorrows; grasped at existence in every form; and endowed the phantoms conjured up from that inert and plastic material so liberally with his own life and feelings, that the sound of his own footsteps reached him as if from another world, or as the hum of Paris reaches the towers of Notre Dame.

He grabbed onto every joy and every sorrow; he embraced existence in all its forms; and he infused the shapes conjured from that unresponsive and malleable material so generously with his own life and emotions that the sound of his own footsteps felt distant, like echoes from another world, or like the buzz of Paris reaching the towers of Notre Dame.

He ascended the inner staircase which led to the first floor, with its votive shields, panoplies, carved shrines, and figures on the wall at every step. Haunted by the strangest shapes, by marvelous creations belonging to the borderland betwixt life and death, he walked as if under the spell of a dream. His own existence became a matter of doubt to him; he was neither wholly alive nor dead, like the curious objects about him. The light began to fade as he reached the show-rooms, but the treasures of gold and silver heaped up there scarcely seemed to need illumination from without. The most extravagant whims of prodigals, who have run through millions to perish in garrets, had left their traces here in this vast bazar of human follies. Here, beside a writing desk, made at the cost of 100,000 francs, and sold for a hundred pence, lay a lock with a secret worth a king’s ransom. The human race was revealed in all the grandeur of its wretchedness; in all the splendor of its infinite littleness. An ebony table that an artist might worship, carved after Jean Goujon’s designs, in years of toil, had been purchased perhaps at the price of firewood. Precious caskets, and things that fairy hands might have fashioned, lay there in heaps like rubbish.

He climbed the inner staircase that led to the first floor, surrounded by votive shields, displays of armor, carved shrines, and figures on the walls at every step. Haunted by the strangest shapes and amazing creations from the eerie space between life and death, he walked as if caught in a dream. He started to doubt his own existence; he felt neither fully alive nor dead, just like the strange objects around him. The light began to dim as he reached the showrooms, but the treasures of gold and silver piled up there hardly seemed to need outside lighting. The most extravagant whims of spendthrifts, who had blown through millions only to end up in cramped rooms, had left their mark in this vast marketplace of human foolishness. Here, next to a writing desk that cost 100,000 francs but was sold for a mere hundred pence, lay a lock with a secret worth a king’s ransom. The human race was laid bare in all its grand misery and in the splendor of its infinite smallness. An ebony table, which an artist might revere, carved in the style of Jean Goujon after years of hard work, might have been bought for the price of firewood. Precious boxes and items that fairy hands might have created were piled there like trash.

“You must have the worth of millions here!” cried the young man as he entered the last of an immense suite of rooms, all decorated and gilt by eighteenth century artists.

“You must be worth millions here!” exclaimed the young man as he walked into the final room of a vast suite, all adorned and gilded by 18th-century artists.

“Thousands of millions, you might say,” said the florid shopman; “but you have seen nothing as yet. Go up to the third floor, and you shall see!”

“Thousands of millions, you could say,” said the colorful shopkeeper; “but you haven't seen anything yet. Go up to the third floor, and you will see!”

The stranger followed his guide to a fourth gallery, where one by one there passed before his wearied eyes several pictures by Poussin, a magnificent statue by Michael Angelo, enchanting landscapes by Claude Lorraine, a Gerard Dow (like a stray page from Sterne), Rembrandts, Murillos, and pictures by Velasquez, as dark and full of color as a poem of Byron’s; then came classic bas-reliefs, finely-cut agates, wonderful cameos! Works of art upon works of art, till the craftsman’s skill palled on the mind, masterpiece after masterpiece till art itself became hateful at last and enthusiasm died. He came upon a Madonna by Raphael, but he was tired of Raphael; a figure by Correggio never received the glance it demanded of him. A priceless vase of antique porphyry carved round about with pictures of the most grotesquely wanton of Roman divinities, the pride of some Corinna, scarcely drew a smile from him.

The stranger followed his guide to a fourth gallery, where a series of paintings by Poussin passed before his tired eyes, along with a stunning statue by Michelangelo, beautiful landscapes by Claude Lorraine, a Gerard Dow (like a stray page from Sterne), Rembrandts, Murillos, and paintings by Velázquez, as rich and colorful as a poem by Byron; then came classic bas-reliefs, finely-carved agates, and amazing cameos! Artworks upon artworks, until the craftsman's skill became overwhelming, masterpiece after masterpiece until art itself felt burdensome and his enthusiasm faded. He encountered a Madonna by Raphael, but he was over Raphael; a figure by Correggio didn’t receive the attention it sought from him. A priceless vase of ancient porphyry, intricately carved with images of the most absurdly wanton Roman gods, the pride of some Corinna, hardly brought a smile to his face.

The ruins of fifteen hundred vanished years oppressed him; he sickened under all this human thought; felt bored by all this luxury and art. He struggled in vain against the constantly renewed fantastic shapes that sprang up from under his feet, like children of some sportive demon.

The ruins of fifteen hundred lost years weighed heavily on him; he felt nauseated by all this human creativity; he found all this wealth and art tedious. He fought in vain against the endless flow of fantastical shapes that rose up from beneath his feet, like the playthings of a mischievous spirit.

Are not fearful poisons set up in the soul by a swift concentration of all her energies, her enjoyments, or ideas; as modern chemistry, in its caprice, repeats the action of creation by some gas or other? Do not many men perish under the shock of the sudden expansion of some moral acid within them?

Aren't dangerous fears created in the soul by quickly focusing all of her energy, pleasures, or thoughts, just like modern chemistry sometimes imitates the act of creation with some gas or another? Don't many people suffer and even die from the sudden release of some moral stress within them?

“What is there in that box?” he inquired, as he reached a large closet—final triumph of human skill, originality, wealth, and splendor, in which there hung a large, square mahogany coffer, suspended from a nail by a silver chain.

“What’s in that box?” he asked as he approached a large closet—the ultimate achievement of human skill, creativity, wealth, and luxury—where a big, square mahogany chest hung from a nail by a silver chain.

“Ah, monsieur keeps the key of it,” said the stout assistant mysteriously. “If you wish to see the portrait, I will gladly venture to tell him.”

“Ah, mister has the key to it,” said the heavyset assistant mysteriously. “If you want to see the portrait, I’ll be happy to let him know.”

“Venture!” said the young man; “then is your master a prince?”

“Go ahead!” said the young man; “so your boss is a prince?”

“I don’t know what he is,” the other answered. Equally astonished, each looked for a moment at the other. Then construing the stranger’s silence as an order, the apprentice left him alone in the closet.

“I don’t know what he is,” the other replied. Just as surprised, they both stared at each other for a moment. Then, interpreting the stranger’s silence as a command, the apprentice stepped out and left him alone in the closet.

Have you never launched into the immensity of time and space as you read the geological writings of Cuvier? Carried by his fancy, have you hung as if suspended by a magician’s wand over the illimitable abyss of the past? When the fossil bones of animals belonging to civilizations before the Flood are turned up in bed after bed and layer upon layer of the quarries of Montmartre or among the schists of the Ural range, the soul receives with dismay a glimpse of millions of peoples forgotten by feeble human memory and unrecognized by permanent divine tradition, peoples whose ashes cover our globe with two feet of earth that yields bread to us and flowers.

Have you ever dove into the vastness of time and space while reading Cuvier's geological writings? Have you felt like you were magically suspended over the endless abyss of the past? When fossil bones from civilizations that existed before the Flood are uncovered in layer after layer of the quarries in Montmartre or among the schists of the Ural Mountains, the soul is struck with unease by a glimpse of countless peoples forgotten by fragile human memory and overlooked by lasting divine tradition, peoples whose remains lie beneath two feet of earth that provides us with bread and flowers.

Is not Cuvier the great poet of our era? Byron has given admirable expression to certain moral conflicts, but our immortal naturalist has reconstructed past worlds from a few bleached bones; has rebuilt cities, like Cadmus, with monsters’ teeth; has animated forests with all the secrets of zoology gleaned from a piece of coal; has discovered a giant population from the footprints of a mammoth. These forms stand erect, grow large, and fill regions commensurate with their giant size. He treats figures like a poet; a naught set beside a seven by him produces awe.

Isn't Cuvier the great poet of our time? Byron has brilliantly expressed certain moral dilemmas, but our legendary naturalist has reconstructed ancient worlds from just a few weathered bones; he's rebuilt cities, like Cadmus, from monsters’ teeth; he's brought forests to life with all the secrets of zoology derived from a piece of coal; he's uncovered a massive population from the footprints of a mammoth. These beings stand tall, grow enormous, and occupy spaces that match their giant size. He treats forms like a poet; even a zero next to a seven from him creates awe.

He can call up nothingness before you without the phrases of a charlatan. He searches a lump of gypsum, finds an impression in it, says to you, “Behold!” All at once marble takes an animal shape, the dead come to life, the history of the world is laid open before you. After countless dynasties of giant creatures, races of fish and clans of mollusks, the race of man appears at last as the degenerate copy of a splendid model, which the Creator has perchance destroyed. Emboldened by his gaze into the past, this petty race, children of yesterday, can overstep chaos, can raise a psalm without end, and outline for themselves the story of the Universe in an Apocalypse that reveals the past. After the tremendous resurrection that took place at the voice of this man, the little drop in the nameless Infinite, common to all spheres, that is ours to use, and that we call Time, seems to us a pitiable moment of life. We ask ourselves the purpose of our triumphs, our hatreds, our loves, overwhelmed as we are by the destruction of so many past universes, and whether it is worth while to accept the pain of life in order that hereafter we may become an intangible speck. Then we remain as if dead, completely torn away from the present till the valet de chambre comes in and says, “Madame la comtesse answers that she is expecting monsieur.”

He can summon nothingness before you without sounding like a fraud. He examines a chunk of gypsum, finds an imprint in it, and says to you, “Look!” Suddenly, marble takes on the shape of an animal, the dead come back to life, and the history of the world unfolds before you. After countless dynasties of large creatures, schools of fish, and groups of mollusks, humanity finally appears as a degenerate version of a magnificent original that the Creator may have destroyed. Fueled by his glimpse into the past, this insignificant race, born just yesterday, can surpass chaos, can sing an endless psalm, and can sketch out their own version of the Universe's story in a revelation that uncovers the past. After the incredible revival that happens at this man's call, the tiny drop in the nameless Infinite, which we all share and refer to as Time, seems to us a pitiful moment of existence. We question the value of our victories, our hates, our loves, overwhelmed by the destruction of so many former worlds, and whether it’s worth enduring the pain of life just to become an intangible speck later. Then we remain almost lifeless, completely detached from the present until the valet de chambre walks in and says, “Madame la comtesse says she’s expecting monsieur.”

All the wonders which had brought the known world before the young man’s mind wrought in his soul much the same feeling of dejection that besets the philosopher investigating unknown creatures. He longed more than ever for death as he flung himself back in a curule chair and let his eyes wander across the illusions composing a panorama of the past. The pictures seemed to light up, the Virgin’s heads smiled on him, the statues seemed alive. Everything danced and swayed around him, with a motion due to the gloom and the tormenting fever that racked his brain; each monstrosity grimaced at him, while the portraits on the canvas closed their eyes for a little relief. Every shape seemed to tremble and start, and to leave its place gravely or flippantly, gracefully or awkwardly, according to its fashion, character, and surroundings.

All the wonders that had brought the known world to the young man’s mind filled him with a sense of sadness similar to what a philosopher feels when exploring unknown beings. He yearned more than ever for death as he threw himself back in a curule chair and let his eyes drift across the illusions that formed a panorama of the past. The images seemed to light up, the Virgin’s faces smiled at him, and the statues appeared alive. Everything danced and swayed around him, moved by the darkness and the tormenting fever that tormented his mind; each monstrosity grinned at him, while the portraits on the canvas closed their eyes for a brief moment of relief. Every shape seemed to shiver and shift, leaving its place either seriously or playfully, elegantly or awkwardly, depending on its style, character, and surroundings.

A mysterious Sabbath began, rivaling the fantastic scenes witnessed by Faust upon the Brocken. But these optical illusions, produced by weariness, overstrained eyesight, or the accidents of twilight, could not alarm the stranger. The terrors of life had no power over a soul grown familiar with the terrors of death. He even gave himself up, half amused by its bizarre eccentricities, to the influence of this moral galvanism; its phenomena, closely connected with his last thoughts, assured him that he was still alive. The silence about him was so deep that he embarked once more in dreams that grew gradually darker and darker as if by magic, as the light slowly faded. A last struggling ray from the sun lit up rosy answering lights. He raised his head and saw a skeleton dimly visible, with its skull bent doubtfully to one side, as if to say, “The dead will none of thee as yet.”

A mysterious Sabbath began, rivaling the incredible scenes that Faust witnessed on the Brocken. But these optical illusions, caused by exhaustion, strained eyesight, or the tricks of twilight, didn’t scare the stranger. The fears of life had no power over a soul that had grown accustomed to the fears of death. He even let himself be half-amused by its strange quirks, surrendering to this moral energy; its effects, closely tied to his last thoughts, confirmed that he was still alive. The silence around him was so profound that he drifted back into dreams that gradually turned darker, as if by magic, as the light slowly faded. A final struggling ray from the sun lit up rosy reflections. He lifted his head and saw a skeleton dimly outlined, its skull tilted uncertainly to one side, as if to say, “The dead don’t want you just yet.”

He passed his hand over his forehead to shake off the drowsiness, and felt a cold breath of air as an unknown furry something swept past his cheeks. He shivered. A muffled clatter of the windows followed; it was a bat, he fancied, that had given him this chilly sepulchral caress. He could yet dimly see for a moment the shapes that surrounded him, by the vague light in the west; then all these inanimate objects were blotted out in uniform darkness. Night and the hour of death had suddenly come. Thenceforward, for a while, he lost consciousness of the things about him; he was either buried in deep meditation or sleep overcame him, brought on by weariness or by the stress of those many thoughts that lacerated his heart.

He rubbed his forehead to shake off the sleepiness and felt a cold breeze as a mysterious furry something brushed against his cheeks. He shivered. A muffled clatter from the windows followed; he figured it was a bat that had given him this chilly, ghostly touch. For a moment, he could still vaguely see the shapes around him in the dim light coming from the west; then all those inanimate objects were swallowed up by uniform darkness. Night and the hour of death had suddenly arrived. From then on, for a while, he became unaware of his surroundings; he was either lost in deep thought or sleep took over him, brought on by exhaustion or by the weight of countless thoughts that tormented his heart.

Suddenly he thought that an awful voice called him by name; it was like some feverish nightmare, when at a step the dreamer falls headlong over into an abyss, and he trembled. He closed his eyes, dazzled by bright rays from a red circle of light that shone out from the shadows. In the midst of the circle stood a little old man who turned the light of the lamp upon him, yet he had not heard him enter, nor move, nor speak. There was something magical about the apparition. The boldest man, awakened in such a sort, would have felt alarmed at the sight of this figure, which might have issued from some sarcophagus hard by.

Suddenly, he heard a terrifying voice call his name; it felt like a feverish nightmare, where in an instant, the dreamer falls headfirst into an abyss, and he shook with fear. He closed his eyes, blinded by bright beams from a red circle of light that shone out from the shadows. In the middle of the circle stood a little old man who directed the lamp's light at him, but he hadn’t heard him come in, move, or speak. There was something magical about this apparition. Even the bravest person, awakened in this manner, would feel a sense of unease at the sight of this figure, as if it had emerged from some nearby sarcophagus.

A curiously youthful look in the unmoving eyes of the spectre forbade the idea of anything supernatural; but for all that, in the brief space between his dreaming and waking life, the young man’s judgment remained philosophically suspended, as Descartes advises. He was, in spite of himself, under the influence of an unaccountable hallucination, a mystery that our pride rejects, and that our imperfect science vainly tries to resolve.

A strangely youthful look in the still eyes of the ghost ruled out anything supernatural; yet, in the short time between his dreams and waking life, the young man’s judgment stayed philosophically suspended, just as Descartes suggests. He was, despite himself, under the sway of an inexplicable hallucination, a mystery our pride denies and that our flawed science attempts to explain in vain.

Imagine a short old man, thin and spare, in a long black velvet gown girded round him by a thick silk cord. His long white hair escaped on either side of his face from under a black velvet cap which closely fitted his head and made a formal setting for his countenance. His gown enveloped his body like a winding sheet, so that all that was left visible was a narrow bleached human face. But for the wasted arm, thin as a draper’s wand, which held aloft the lamp that cast all its light upon him, the face would have seemed to hang in mid air. A gray pointed beard concealed the chin of this fantastical appearance, and gave him the look of one of those Jewish types which serve artists as models for Moses. His lips were so thin and colorless that it needed a close inspection to find the lines of his mouth at all in the pallid face. His great wrinkled brow and hollow bloodless cheeks, the inexorably stern expression of his small green eyes that no longer possessed eyebrows or lashes, might have convinced the stranger that Gerard Dow’s “Money Changer” had come down from his frame. The craftiness of an inquisitor, revealed in those curving wrinkles and creases that wound about his temples, indicated a profound knowledge of life. There was no deceiving this man, who seemed to possess a power of detecting the secrets of the wariest heart.

Imagine a short, thin, old man in a long black velvet robe tightened around him with a thick silk cord. His long white hair fell on either side of his face from under a black velvet cap that fit snugly on his head, creating a formal frame for his face. The robe enveloped his body like a shroud, leaving visible only a narrow, pale human face. If it weren't for his wasted arm, thin as a tailor's ruler, holding up the lamp that cast all its light on him, the face would appear to hover in mid-air. A gray pointed beard covered his chin, giving him the look of one of those Jewish figures that artists use as models for Moses. His lips were so thin and colorless that you needed a close look to even see the lines of his mouth against his pale face. His deeply lined forehead and hollow, colorless cheeks, combined with the unyieldingly stern expression of his small green eyes that no longer had eyebrows or eyelashes, might have made a stranger think that Gerard Dow’s “Money Changer” had stepped out of its frame. The cunning of an inquisitor shone through the wrinkles and creases around his temples, indicating a deep understanding of life. There was no fooling this man, who seemed to have a knack for uncovering the secrets of even the most guarded hearts.

The wisdom and the moral codes of every people seemed gathered up in his passive face, just as all the productions of the globe had been heaped up in his dusty showrooms. He seemed to possess the tranquil luminous vision of some god before whom all things are open, or the haughty power of a man who knows all things.

The wisdom and moral codes of every culture appeared to be reflected in his calm expression, just as all the creations of the world were stacked up in his dusty showrooms. He seemed to have the serene, insightful vision of a god who sees everything, or the arrogant power of someone who knows it all.

With two strokes of the brush a painter could have so altered the expression of this face, that what had been a serene representation of the Eternal Father should change to the sneering mask of a Mephistopheles; for though sovereign power was revealed by the forehead, mocking folds lurked about the mouth. He must have sacrificed all the joys of earth, as he had crushed all human sorrows beneath his potent will. The man at the brink of death shivered at the thought of the life led by this spirit, so solitary and remote from our world; joyless, since he had no one illusion left; painless, because pleasure had ceased to exist for him. There he stood, motionless and serene as a star in a bright mist. His lamp lit up the obscure closet, just as his green eyes, with their quiet malevolence, seemed to shed a light on the moral world.

With just two strokes of the brush, a painter could completely change the expression on this face, transforming what was a peaceful representation of the Eternal Father into the sneering mask of Mephistopheles; for while sovereign power was clear in the forehead, mocking lines curled around the mouth. He must have given up all the joys of life, just as he crushed all human sorrows beneath his powerful will. The man on the edge of death trembled at the thought of the life led by this spirit, so isolated and distant from our world; joyless, as he had no illusions left; painless, because pleasure had vanished for him. There he stood, motionless and calm like a star in bright mist. His lamp illuminated the dark corner, just as his green eyes, with their quiet malice, seemed to cast light on the moral world.

This was the strange spectacle that startled the young man’s returning sight, as he shook off the dreamy fancies and thoughts of death that had lulled him. An instant of dismay, a momentary return to belief in nursery tales, may be forgiven him, seeing that his senses were obscured. Much thought had wearied his mind, and his nerves were exhausted with the strain of the tremendous drama within him, and by the scenes that had heaped on him all the horrid pleasures that a piece of opium can produce.

This was the strange sight that shocked the young man as he shook off the dreamy fantasies and thoughts of death that had lulled him. A brief moment of panic and a quick return to believing in childhood stories can be excused, considering that his senses were clouded. He had thought so much that his mind felt tired, and his nerves were worn out from the intense drama inside him, combined with the scenes that had bombarded him with all the disturbing pleasures that a dose of opium can create.

But this apparition had appeared in Paris, on the Quai Voltaire, and in the nineteenth century; the time and place made sorcery impossible. The idol of French scepticism had died in the house just opposite, the disciple of Gay-Lussac and Arago, who had held the charlatanism of intellect in contempt. And yet the stranger submitted himself to the influence of an imaginative spell, as all of us do at times, when we wish to escape from an inevitable certainty, or to tempt the power of Providence. So some mysterious apprehension of a strange force made him tremble before the old man with the lamp. All of us have been stirred in the same way by the sight of Napoleon, or of some other great man, made illustrious by his genius or by fame.

But this apparition showed up in Paris, on the Quai Voltaire, and in the nineteenth century; the time and place made magic impossible. The icon of French skepticism had died in the house right across the street, the student of Gay-Lussac and Arago, who had looked down on the charlatanism of intellect. And yet the stranger gave in to the influence of an imaginative spell, as we all do sometimes when we want to escape an unavoidable truth or challenge the power of Providence. Some mysterious sense of a strange force made him shiver before the old man with the lamp. We've all felt the same way when seeing Napoleon or some other great figure, celebrated for their genius or fame.

“You wish to see Raphael’s portrait of Jesus Christ, monsieur?” the old man asked politely. There was something metallic in the clear, sharp ring of his voice.

“You want to see Raphael’s portrait of Jesus Christ, sir?” the old man asked politely. There was something metallic in the clear, sharp tone of his voice.

He set the lamp upon a broken column, so that all its light might fall on the brown case.

He placed the lamp on a broken column, ensuring that all its light illuminated the brown case.

At the sacred names of Christ and Raphael the young man showed some curiosity. The merchant, who no doubt looked for this, pressed a spring, and suddenly the mahogany panel slid noiselessly back in its groove, and discovered the canvas to the stranger’s admiring gaze. At sight of this deathless creation, he forgot his fancies in the show-rooms and the freaks of his dreams, and became himself again. The old man became a being of flesh and blood, very much alive, with nothing chimerical about him, and took up his existence at once upon solid earth.

At the mention of Christ and Raphael, the young man showed some interest. The merchant, anticipating this reaction, pressed a button, and suddenly the mahogany panel slid quietly back, revealing the canvas to the stranger's fascinated gaze. Upon seeing this timeless masterpiece, he let go of his daydreams and the oddities in his imagination, becoming fully present again. The old man came to life, very real and tangible, with nothing fantastical about him, grounding himself immediately in reality.

The sympathy and love, and the gentle serenity in the divine face, exerted an instant sway over the younger spectator. Some influence falling from heaven bade cease the burning torment that consumed the marrow of his bones. The head of the Saviour of mankind seemed to issue from among the shadows represented by a dark background; an aureole of light shone out brightly from his hair; an impassioned belief seemed to glow through him, and to thrill every feature. The word of life had just been uttered by those red lips, the sacred sounds seemed to linger still in the air; the spectator besought the silence for those captivating parables, hearkened for them in the future, and had to turn to the teachings of the past. The untroubled peace of the divine eyes, the comfort of sorrowing souls, seemed an interpretation of the Evangel. The sweet triumphant smile revealed the secret of the Catholic religion, which sums up all things in the precept, “Love one another.” This picture breathed the spirit of prayer, enjoined forgiveness, overcame self, caused sleeping powers of good to waken. For this work of Raphael’s had the imperious charm of music; you were brought under the spell of memories of the past; his triumph was so absolute that the artist was forgotten. The witchery of the lamplight heightened the wonder; the head seemed at times to flicker in the distance, enveloped in cloud.

The sympathy and love, along with the gentle serenity in the divine face, had an instant impact on the younger viewer. Some heavenly influence eased the intense pain that consumed him to the core. The head of the Savior of humanity appeared to emerge from the shadows created by a dark background; a halo of light radiated brilliantly from his hair. An intense faith seemed to shine through him, thrilling every feature. The words of life had just been spoken by those red lips, and the sacred sounds still lingered in the air. The viewer yearned for silence to soak in those captivating parables, listened for them in the future, and had to turn to the teachings of the past. The peaceful gaze of the divine, comforting the sorrowful, seemed to carry the essence of the Gospel. The sweet, triumphant smile revealed the core of the Catholic faith, which encapsulates everything in the commandment, “Love one another.” This painting exuded the spirit of prayer, urged forgiveness, transcended self, and awakened dormant goodness. For Raphael’s work possessed a compelling charm like music; it swept you into a spell of memories from the past; his triumph was so complete that the artist himself faded into the background. The enchantment of the lamplight enhanced the amazement; at times, the head seemed to flicker in the distance, wrapped in mist.

“I covered the surface of that picture with gold pieces,” said the merchant carelessly.

“I covered the surface of that picture with gold pieces,” the merchant said casually.

“And now for death!” cried the young man, awakened from his musings. His last thought had recalled his fate to him, as it led him imperceptibly back from the forlorn hopes to which he had clung.

“And now for death!” shouted the young man, pulled from his thoughts. His last idea reminded him of his destiny, drawing him quietly back from the hopeless dreams he had held onto.

“Ah, ha! then my suspicions were well founded!” said the other, and his hands held the young man’s wrists in a grip like that of a vice.

“Ah, ha! So my suspicions were correct!” said the other, as his hands held the young man’s wrists in a grip like a vice.

The younger man smiled wearily at his mistake, and said gently:

The younger man smiled tiredly at his mistake and said softly:

“You, sir, have nothing to fear; it is not your life, but my own that is in question.... But why should I hide a harmless fraud?” he went on, after a look at the anxious old man. “I came to see your treasures to while away the time till night should come and I could drown myself decently. Who would grudge this last pleasure to a poet and a man of science?”

“You, sir, don’t need to worry; it’s my life that’s at stake, not yours.... But why should I conceal a harmless deception?” he continued, glancing at the worried old man. “I came to look at your treasures to pass the time until night falls and I can end my life properly. Who would deny this final pleasure to a poet and a man of science?”

While he spoke, the jealous merchant watched the haggard face of his pretended customer with keen eyes. Perhaps the mournful tones of his voice reassured him, or he also read the dark signs of fate in the faded features that had made the gamblers shudder; he released his hands, but, with a touch of caution, due to the experience of some hundred years at least, he stretched his arm out to a sideboard as if to steady himself, took up a little dagger, and said:

While he spoke, the jealous merchant watched the tired face of his fake customer with sharp eyes. Maybe the sad tone of his voice put him at ease, or he also saw the ominous signs of fate in the worn features that had made the gamblers uneasy; he loosened his grip, but with a hint of caution, stemming from at least a hundred years of experience, he reached out to a sideboard as if to steady himself, picked up a small dagger, and said:

“Have you been a supernumerary clerk of the Treasury for three years without receiving any perquisites?”

“Have you been a temporary clerk at the Treasury for three years without getting any perks?”

The stranger could scarcely suppress a smile as he shook his head.

The stranger could barely hold back a smile as he shook his head.

“Perhaps your father has expressed his regret for your birth a little too sharply? Or have you disgraced yourself?”

“Maybe your dad has shown his regret about your birth a bit too strongly? Or have you embarrassed yourself?”

“If I meant to be disgraced, I should live.”

“If I intended to be embarrassed, I might as well live.”

“You have been hissed perhaps at the Funambules? Or you have had to compose couplets to pay for your mistress’ funeral? Do you want to be cured of the gold fever? Or to be quit of the spleen? For what blunder is your life forfeit?”

“You’ve probably been booed at the Funambules, right? Or maybe you've had to write couplets to cover your mistress’s funeral? Do you want to get over your obsession with money? Or to shake off your bad mood? What mistake has put your life at risk?”

“You must not look among the common motives that impel suicides for the reason of my death. To spare myself the task of disclosing my unheard-of sufferings, for which language has no name, I will tell you this—that I am in the deepest, most humiliating, and most cruel trouble, and,” he went on in proud tones that harmonized ill with the words just uttered, “I have no wish to beg for either help or sympathy.”

“You shouldn’t search among the usual reasons that drive people to suicide to understand why I died. To avoid revealing my unimaginable pain, for which there are no words, I’ll just say this: I am in the deepest, most humiliating, and most brutal situation, and,” he continued in proud tones that clashed with what he had just said, “I don’t want to ask for help or sympathy.”

“Eh! eh!”

“Hey! hey!”

The two syllables which the old man pronounced resembled the sound of a rattle. Then he went on thus:

The two syllables the old man spoke sounded like a rattle. Then he continued:

“Without compelling you to entreat me, without making you blush for it, and without giving you so much as a French centime, a para from the Levant, a German heller, a Russian kopeck, a Scottish farthing, a single obolus or sestertius from the ancient world, or one piastre from the new, without offering you anything whatever in gold, silver, or copper, notes or drafts, I will make you richer, more powerful, and of more consequence than a constitutional king.”

“Without forcing you to beg me, without making you feel embarrassed about it, and without giving you even a cent, a penny from the Levant, a German coin, a Russian kopeck, a Scottish farthing, an ancient obolus or sestertius, or one piastre from the modern world, without offering you anything at all in gold, silver, or copper, cash or checks, I will make you richer, more powerful, and more significant than a constitutional king.”

The young man thought that the older was in his dotage, and waited in bewilderment without venturing to reply.

The young man believed that the older man was losing his mind and waited in confusion without daring to respond.

“Turn round,” said the merchant, suddenly catching up the lamp in order to light up the opposite wall; “look at that leathern skin,” he went on.

“Turn around,” said the merchant, quickly grabbing the lamp to illuminate the opposite wall; “check out that leather skin,” he continued.

The young man rose abruptly, and showed some surprise at the sight of a piece of shagreen which hung on the wall behind his chair. It was only about the size of a fox’s skin, but it seemed to fill the deep shadows of the place with such brilliant rays that it looked like a small comet, an appearance at first sight inexplicable. The young sceptic went up to this so-called talisman, which was to rescue him from all points of view, and he soon found out the cause of its singular brilliancy. The dark grain of the leather had been so carefully burnished and polished, the striped markings of the graining were so sharp and clear, that every particle of the surface of the bit of Oriental leather was in itself a focus which concentrated the light, and reflected it vividly.

The young man stood up suddenly and seemed surprised by a piece of shagreen hanging on the wall behind his chair. It was only about the size of a fox's skin, but it lit up the deep shadows of the room with such bright rays that it looked like a small comet, an inexplicable sight at first glance. The young skeptic approached this so-called talisman, which was supposed to save him in every way, and soon discovered the reason for its unique brilliance. The dark grain of the leather had been meticulously burnished and polished, and the striped markings of the grain were so sharp and clear that every part of the surface of the piece of Oriental leather acted as a focus, concentrating the light and reflecting it vividly.

He accounted for this phenomenon categorically to the old man, who only smiled meaningly by way of answer. His superior smile led the young scientific man to fancy that he himself had been deceived by some imposture. He had no wish to carry one more puzzle to his grave, and hastily turned the skin over, like some child eager to find out the mysteries of a new toy.

He explained this phenomenon clearly to the old man, who just smiled knowingly in response. The old man's smile made the young scientist think he had been tricked by some sort of deception. He didn't want to take another mystery to his grave, so he quickly turned the skin over, like a child eager to discover the secrets of a new toy.

“Ah,” he cried, “here is the mark of the seal which they call in the East the Signet of Solomon.”

“Ah,” he exclaimed, “here is the mark of the seal that they refer to in the East as the Signet of Solomon.”

“So you know that, then?” asked the merchant. His peculiar method of laughter, two or three quick breathings through the nostrils, said more than any words however eloquent.

“So you know that, then?” asked the merchant. His strange way of laughing, with two or three quick breaths through his nose, conveyed more than any words, no matter how eloquent.

“Is there anybody in the world simple enough to believe in that idle fancy?” said the young man, nettled by the spitefulness of the silent chuckle. “Don’t you know,” he continued, “that the superstitions of the East have perpetuated the mystical form and the counterfeit characters of the symbol, which represents a mythical dominion? I have no more laid myself open to a charge of credulity in this case, than if I had mentioned sphinxes or griffins, whose existence mythology in a manner admits.”

“Is there anyone in the world naive enough to believe in that ridiculous idea?” the young man said, irritated by the mocking silence. “Don't you realize,” he continued, “that the superstitions of the East have kept alive the mysterious shapes and fake characters of the symbol that represents a mythical kingdom? I'm just as unlikely to be accused of gullibility in this case as if I had talked about sphinxes or griffins, which mythology somewhat acknowledges.”

“As you are an Orientalist,” replied the other, “perhaps you can read that sentence.”

“As an Orientalist,” the other replied, “maybe you can read that sentence.”

He held the lamp close to the talisman, which the young man held towards him, and pointed out some characters inlaid in the surface of the wonderful skin, as if they had grown on the animal to which it once belonged.

He brought the lamp closer to the talisman, which the young man was holding out to him, and pointed out some symbols embedded in the surface of the amazing skin, as if they had naturally developed on the animal it once came from.

“I must admit,” said the stranger, “that I have no idea how the letters could be engraved so deeply on the skin of a wild ass.” And he turned quickly to the tables strewn with curiosities and seemed to look for something.

“I have to admit,” said the stranger, “that I have no clue how the letters could be carved so deeply on the skin of a wild ass.” And he quickly turned to the tables covered with curiosities and seemed to search for something.

“What is it that you want?” asked the old man.

“What do you want?” asked the old man.

“Something that will cut the leather, so that I can see whether the letters are printed or inlaid.”

“Something that can cut through the leather, so I can tell if the letters are printed or inlaid.”

The old man held out his stiletto. The stranger took it and tried to cut the skin above the lettering; but when he had removed a thin shaving of leather from them, the characters still appeared below, so clear and so exactly like the surface impression, that for a moment he was not sure that he had cut anything away after all.

The old man handed over his stiletto. The stranger took it and attempted to slice off the skin above the lettering; however, after removing a thin layer of leather, the characters remained visible beneath, so clear and looking exactly like the surface imprint, that for a moment he doubted whether he had actually cut anything away at all.

“The craftsmen of the Levant have secrets known only to themselves,” he said, half in vexation, as he eyed the characters of this Oriental sentence.

“The artisans of the Levant have secrets that only they know,” he said, half frustrated, as he looked at the characters of this Eastern sentence.

“Yes,” said the old man, “it is better to attribute it to man’s agency than to God’s.”

“Yes,” said the old man, “it’s better to credit it to human action than to God.”

The mysterious words were thus arranged:

The mysterious words were organized like this:

     [Drawing of apparently Sanskrit characters omitted]
     [Drawing of apparently Sanskrit characters omitted]

Or, as it runs in English:

Or, as it is expressed in English:

     POSSESSING ME THOU SHALT POSSESS ALL THINGS.
     BUT THY LIFE IS MINE, FOR GOD HAS SO WILLED IT.
     WISH, AND THY WISHES SHALL BE FULFILLED;
     BUT MEASURE THY DESIRES, ACCORDING
     TO THE LIFE THAT IS IN THEE.
     THIS IS THY LIFE,
     WITH EACH WISH I MUST SHRINK
     EVEN AS THY OWN DAYS.
     WILT THOU HAVE ME?  TAKE ME.
     GOD WILL HEARKEN UNTO THEE.
     SO BE IT!
     POSSESSING ME YOU WILL POSSESS ALL THINGS.  
     BUT YOUR LIFE IS MINE, FOR GOD HAS MADE IT SO.  
     WISH, AND YOUR WISHES WILL BE FULFILLED;  
     BUT KEEP YOUR DESIRES IN CHECK,  
     BASED ON THE LIFE THAT IS WITHIN YOU.  
     THIS IS YOUR LIFE,  
     WITH EACH WISH I MUST SHRINK  
     JUST LIKE YOUR OWN DAYS.  
     DO YOU WANT ME? TAKE ME.  
     GOD WILL LISTEN TO YOU.  
     SO BE IT!  

“So you read Sanskrit fluently,” said the old man. “You have been in Persia perhaps, or in Bengal?”

“So you can read Sanskrit fluently,” said the old man. “Have you spent time in Persia or Bengal?”

“No, sir,” said the stranger, as he felt the emblematical skin curiously. It was almost as rigid as a sheet of metal.

“No, sir,” said the stranger, as he curiously touched the emblematic skin. It was almost as stiff as a sheet of metal.

The old merchant set the lamp back again upon the column, giving the other a look as he did so. “He has given up the notion of dying already,” the glance said with phlegmatic irony.

The old merchant placed the lamp back on the column, glancing at the other as he did so. “He’s already given up on the idea of dying,” the look conveyed with dry irony.

“Is it a jest, or is it an enigma?” asked the younger man.

“Is it a joke, or is it a mystery?” asked the younger man.

The other shook his head and said soberly:

The other shook his head and said seriously:

“I don’t know how to answer you. I have offered this talisman with its terrible powers to men with more energy in them than you seem to me to have; but though they laughed at the questionable power it might exert over their futures, not one of them was ready to venture to conclude the fateful contract proposed by an unknown force. I am of their opinion, I have doubted and refrained, and——”

“I don’t know how to respond to you. I have given this talisman, with its terrifying powers, to people who seem to have more energy than you do. Even though they laughed at the uncertain influence it might have on their futures, none of them were willing to go through with the risky deal suggested by an unknown force. I share their view; I have had my doubts and held back, and——”

“Have you never even tried its power?” interrupted the young stranger.

“Have you never even tried its power?” the young stranger interrupted.

“Tried it!” exclaimed the old man. “Suppose that you were on the column in the Place Vendome, would you try flinging yourself into space? Is it possible to stay the course of life? Has a man ever been known to die by halves? Before you came here, you had made up your mind to kill yourself, but all at once a mystery fills your mind, and you think no more about death. You child! Does not any one day of your life afford mysteries more absorbing? Listen to me. I saw the licentious days of Regency. I was like you, then, in poverty; I have begged my bread; but for all that, I am now a centenarian with a couple of years to spare, and a millionaire to boot. Misery was the making of me, ignorance has made me learned. I will tell you in a few words the great secret of human life. By two instinctive processes man exhausts the springs of life within him. Two verbs cover all the forms which these two causes of death may take—To Will and To have your Will. Between these two limits of human activity the wise have discovered an intermediate formula, to which I owe my good fortune and long life. To Will consumes us, and To have our Will destroys us, but To Know steeps our feeble organisms in perpetual calm. In me Thought has destroyed Will, so that Power is relegated to the ordinary functions of my economy. In a word, it is not in the heart which can be broken, or in the senses that become deadened, but it is in the brain that cannot waste away and survives everything else, that I have set my life. Moderation has kept mind and body unruffled. Yet, I have seen the whole world. I have learned all languages, lived after every manner. I have lent a Chinaman money, taking his father’s corpse as a pledge, slept in an Arab’s tent on the security of his bare word, signed contracts in every capital of Europe, and left my gold without hesitation in savage wigwams. I have attained everything, because I have known how to despise all things.

“Tried it!” shouted the old man. “If you were standing on the column in Place Vendôme, would you really jump into the void? Is it possible to stick with life? Has anyone ever died halfway? Before you arrived here, you had decided to end it all, but suddenly, a mystery fills your mind, and you stop thinking about death. You foolish child! Doesn’t every single day of your life present you with mysteries that are more captivating? Listen to me. I witnessed the wild days of the Regency. I was just like you, then, living in poverty; I begged for my bread. Yet here I am, a century old with a few extra years, and a millionaire to boot. Misery shaped me, and ignorance made me wise. I’ll tell you the great secret of human life in a few words. There are two instinctive processes that drain the life within us. Two verbs summarize all the ways these two causes of death can manifest—To Will and To have your Will. Between these two extremes of human activity, the wise have found a middle ground, which is what brought me good fortune and a long life. To Will consumes us, and To have our Will destroys us, but To Know immerses our fragile beings in constant peace. In me, Thought has overtaken Will, so that Power has been assigned to the ordinary functions of my being. In short, it’s not in a heart that can be broken, or in senses that grow dull, but in a brain that doesn’t decay and outlasts everything else that I’ve anchored my life. Moderation has kept my mind and body calm. Yet, I’ve seen the entire world. I’ve learned every language, lived in countless ways. I’ve lent money to a Chinese man, using his father’s corpse as collateral, slept in an Arab’s tent simply based on his word, signed contracts in every European capital, and confidently left my gold in savage villages. I’ve achieved everything because I’ve learned to despise all things.”

“My one ambition has been to see. Is not Sight in a manner Insight? And to have knowledge or insight, is not that to have instinctive possession? To be able to discover the very substance of fact and to unite its essence to our essence? Of material possession what abides with you but an idea? Think, then, how glorious must be the life of a man who can stamp all realities upon his thought, place the springs of happiness within himself, and draw thence uncounted pleasures in idea, unspoiled by earthly stains. Thought is a key to all treasures; the miser’s gains are ours without his cares. Thus I have soared above this world, where my enjoyments have been intellectual joys. I have reveled in the contemplation of seas, peoples, forests, and mountains! I have seen all things, calmly, and without weariness; I have set my desires on nothing; I have waited in expectation of everything. I have walked to and fro in the world as in a garden round about my own dwelling. Troubles, loves, ambitions, losses, and sorrows, as men call them, are for me ideas, which I transmute into waking dreams; I express and transpose instead of feeling them; instead of permitting them to prey upon my life, I dramatize and expand them; I divert myself with them as if they were romances which I could read by the power of vision within me. As I have never overtaxed my constitution, I still enjoy robust health; and as my mind is endowed with all the force that I have not wasted, this head of mine is even better furnished than my galleries. The true millions lie here,” he said, striking his forehead. “I spend delicious days in communings with the past; I summon before me whole countries, places, extents of sea, the fair faces of history. In my imaginary seraglio I have all the women that I have never possessed. Your wars and revolutions come up before me for judgment. What is a feverish fugitive admiration for some more or less brightly colored piece of flesh and blood; some more or less rounded human form; what are all the disasters that wait on your erratic whims, compared with the magnificent power of conjuring up the whole world within your soul, compared with the immeasurable joys of movement, unstrangled by the cords of time, unclogged by the fetters of space; the joys of beholding all things, of comprehending all things, of leaning over the parapet of the world to question the other spheres, to hearken to the voice of God? There,” he burst out, vehemently, “there are To Will and To have your Will, both together,” he pointed to the bit of shagreen; “there are your social ideas, your immoderate desires, your excesses, your pleasures that end in death, your sorrows that quicken the pace of life, for pain is perhaps but a violent pleasure. Who could determine the point where pleasure becomes pain, where pain is still a pleasure? Is not the utmost brightness of the ideal world soothing to us, while the lightest shadows of the physical world annoy? Is not knowledge the secret of wisdom? And what is folly but a riotous expenditure of Will or Power?”

“My main goal has always been to see. Isn't sight, in a way, insight? And to have knowledge or insight, isn't that like having an instinctive understanding? To be able to uncover the very essence of truth and connect it with our own essence? What truly lasts in material possession but an idea? Think about how incredible it must be to live as a man who can imprint all realities onto his thoughts, place the sources of happiness within himself, and draw countless pleasures from ideas, untouched by earthly concerns. Thought unlocks all treasures; we can enjoy the miser's wealth without his worries. So, I have risen above this world, where my joys come from intellectual pursuits. I've delighted in contemplating oceans, peoples, forests, and mountains! I’ve observed everything calmly and without fatigue; I have not fixated on anything; I've waited in anticipation of everything. I have wandered this world as if it were a garden surrounding my own home. Troubles, love, ambitions, losses, and sorrows, as people call them, are for me just ideas, which I transform into waking dreams; I express and reinterpret them instead of feeling them; instead of letting them consume my life, I dramatize and expand them; I entertain myself with them as if they were stories I could read through the power of vision within me. Since I’ve never overstressed my body, I still enjoy good health; and because my mind is filled with all the energy I haven’t squandered, my head is even richer than my collections. The true wealth lies here,” he said, tapping his forehead. “I spend delightful days in conversations with the past; I conjure entire countries, places, seas, and the beautiful faces of history. In my imaginary harem, I possess all the women I've never had. Your wars and revolutions come to me for evaluation. What is a fleeting, frantic admiration for some colorful piece of flesh and blood; some more or less shapely human form; what do all the disasters that follow your unpredictable whims mean compared to the incredible power of bringing the whole world into your soul, compared to the limitless joys of movement, free from the restraints of time, unhindered by physical boundaries; the joys of seeing everything, of understanding everything, of leaning over the edge of the world to explore other realms, to listen to the voice of God? There,” he exclaimed passionately, “there are To Will and To have your Will, both together,” he pointed to the small piece of shagreen; “there are your social ideas, your immoderate desires, your excesses, your pleasures that end in death, your sorrows that quicken the pace of life, for perhaps pain is just an intense pleasure. Who can define the point where pleasure turns into pain, where pain still feels like pleasure? Isn't the ultimate brightness of the ideal world calming to us, while the tiniest shadows of the physical world irritate? Is knowledge not the key to wisdom? And what is folly but a reckless waste of Will or Power?”

“Very good then, a life of riotous excess for me!” said the stranger, pouncing upon the piece of shagreen.

“Sounds great, I’m all in for a life of wild excess!” said the stranger, grabbing the piece of shagreen.

“Young man, beware!” cried the other with incredible vehemence.

“Hey, young man, watch out!” shouted the other person with intense urgency.

“I had resolved my existence into thought and study,” the stranger replied; “and yet they have not even supported me. I am not to be gulled by a sermon worthy of Swedenborg, nor by your Oriental amulet, nor yet by your charitable endeavors to keep me in a world wherein existence is no longer possible for me.... Let me see now,” he added, clutching the talisman convulsively, as he looked at the old man, “I wish for a royal banquet, a carouse worthy of this century, which, it is said, has brought everything to perfection! Let me have young boon companions, witty, unwarped by prejudice, merry to the verge of madness! Let one wine succeed another, each more biting and perfumed than the last, and strong enough to bring about three days of delirium! Passionate women’s forms should grace that night! I would be borne away to unknown regions beyond the confines of this world, by the car and four-winged steed of a frantic and uproarious orgy. Let us ascend to the skies, or plunge ourselves in the mire. I do not know if one soars or sinks at such moments, and I do not care! Next, I bid this enigmatical power to concentrate all delights for me in one single joy. Yes, I must comprehend every pleasure of earth and heaven in the final embrace that is to kill me. Therefore, after the wine, I wish to hold high festival to Priapus, with songs that might rouse the dead, and kisses without end; the sound of them should pass like the crackling of flame through Paris, should revive the heat of youth and passion in husband and wife, even in hearts of seventy years.”

“I’ve dedicated my life to thought and study,” the stranger replied, “and yet they haven’t even supported me. I won’t be fooled by a sermon worthy of Swedenborg, or by your Eastern amulet, or by your attempts to keep me in a world where I can no longer exist... Let me see now,” he said, gripping the talisman tightly as he looked at the old man. “I want a royal feast, a celebration fit for this century, which is said to have perfected everything! I want young friends, clever and free from prejudice, joyful to the point of madness! Let one wine flow after another, each more intense and aromatic than the last, strong enough to push me into three days of delirium! Passionate women should grace that night! I want to be taken to unknown places beyond this world, by the wild chariot and four-winged horse of a crazy and exuberant party. Let’s rise to the heavens, or dive into the mud. I don’t know if we soar or sink in those moments, and I don’t care! Next, I command this mysterious power to gather all pleasures into one single joy. Yes, I must experience every delight of earth and heaven in the final embrace that will end my life. So, after the wine, I want to celebrate Priapus with songs that could awaken the dead, and endless kisses; their sounds should crackle through Paris like fire, reviving the heat of youth and passion in husbands and wives, even in hearts that are seventy years old.”

A laugh burst from the little old man. It rang in the young man’s ears like an echo from hell; and tyrannously cut him short. He said no more.

A laugh erupted from the little old man. It echoed in the young man’s ears like a sound from hell and abruptly silenced him. He didn’t say anything else.

“Do you imagine that my floors are going to open suddenly, so that luxuriously-appointed tables may rise through them, and guests from another world? No, no, young madcap. You have entered into the compact now, and there is an end of it. Henceforward, your wishes will be accurately fulfilled, but at the expense of your life. The compass of your days, visible in that skin, will contract according to the strength and number of your desires, from the least to the most extravagant. The Brahmin from whom I had this skin once explained to me that it would bring about a mysterious connection between the fortunes and wishes of its possessor. Your first wish is a vulgar one, which I could fulfil, but I leave that to the issues of your new existence. After all, you were wishing to die; very well, your suicide is only put off for a time.”

“Do you think my floors are going to suddenly open up, allowing luxurious tables to rise from below and guests from another world to appear? No, no, young daredevil. You've made a deal now, and that’s final. From now on, your wishes will be precisely fulfilled, but it'll cost you your life. The length of your days, reflected in that skin, will shrink based on the strength and number of your desires, from the smallest to the most extravagant. The Brahmin who sold me this skin once told me that it would create a mysterious link between the fortune and wishes of its owner. Your first wish is a trivial one, which I could grant, but I’ll let you decide that in your new life. After all, you wished for death; very well, your suicide is only postponed for now.”

The stranger was surprised and irritated that this peculiar old man persisted in not taking him seriously. A half philanthropic intention peeped so clearly forth from his last jesting observation, that he exclaimed:

The stranger was taken aback and annoyed that this strange old man continued to not take him seriously. A hint of genuine kindness showed so clearly in his last joking comment that he exclaimed:

“I shall soon see, sir, if any change comes over my fortunes in the time it will take to cross the width of the quay. But I should like us to be quits for such a momentous service; that is, if you are not laughing at an unlucky wretch, so I wish that you may fall in love with an opera-dancer. You would understand the pleasures of intemperance then, and might perhaps grow lavish of the wealth that you have husbanded so philosophically.”

“I'll soon find out, sir, whether my luck changes while it takes to walk across the quay. But I'd like us to be even for such an important favor; that is, if you're not just mocking a poor soul. So I hope you end up falling for an opera dancer. Then you'd really get to know the pleasures of indulgence and might even start to spend some of the wealth you’ve saved up so wisely.”

He went out without heeding the old man’s heavy sigh, went back through the galleries and down the staircase, followed by the stout assistant who vainly tried to light his passage; he fled with the haste of a robber caught in the act. Blinded by a kind of delirium, he did not even notice the unexpected flexibility of the piece of shagreen, which coiled itself up, pliant as a glove in his excited fingers, till it would go into the pocket of his coat, where he mechanically thrust it. As he rushed out of the door into the street, he ran up against three young men who were passing arm-in-arm.

He walked out without paying attention to the old man's heavy sigh, made his way through the hallways and down the stairs, followed by the chubby assistant who unsuccessfully tried to light his path; he fled like a thief caught red-handed. Overcome by a sort of frenzy, he didn't even notice how the piece of shagreen bent flexibly, curling up like a glove in his eager hands, until it fit into his coat pocket, where he automatically shoved it. As he burst out the door into the street, he collided with three young men who were walking arm-in-arm.

“Brute!”

“Brute!”

“Idiot!”

“Fool!”

Such were the gratifying expressions exchanged between them.

Such were the satisfying words shared between them.

“Why, it is Raphael!”

"Wow, it's Raphael!"

“Good! we were looking for you.”

“Great! We were just looking for you.”

“What! it is you, then?”

“What! Is that you?”

These three friendly exclamations quickly followed the insults, as the light of a street lamp, flickering in the wind, fell upon the astonished faces of the group.

These three cheerful shouts quickly followed the insults, as the light from a street lamp, flickering in the wind, shone on the surprised faces of the group.

“My dear fellow, you must come with us!” said the young man that Raphael had all but knocked down.

“My dear friend, you have to join us!” said the young man whom Raphael had nearly toppled.

“What is all this about?”

“What’s all this about?”

“Come along, and I will tell you the history of it as we go.”

“Come on, and I’ll tell you the story as we walk.”

By fair means or foul, Raphael must go along with his friends towards the Pont des Arts; they surrounded him, and linked him by the arm among their merry band.

By any means necessary, Raphael had to go with his friends to the Pont des Arts; they gathered around him and linked arms with him in their cheerful group.

“We have been after you for about a week,” the speaker went on. “At your respectable hotel de Saint Quentin, where, by the way, the sign with the alternate black and red letters cannot be removed, and hangs out just as it did in the time of Jean Jacques, that Leonarda of yours told us that you were off into the country. For all that, we certainly did not look like duns, creditors, sheriff’s officers, or the like. But no matter! Rastignac had seen you the evening before at the Bouffons; we took courage again, and made it a point of honor to find out whether you were roosting in a tree in the Champs-Elysees, or in one of those philanthropic abodes where the beggars sleep on a twopenny rope, or if, more luckily, you were bivouacking in some boudoir or other. We could not find you anywhere. Your name was not in the jailers’ registers at the St. Pelagie nor at La Force! Government departments, cafes, libraries, lists of prefects’ names, newspaper offices, restaurants, greenrooms—to cut it short, every lurking place in Paris, good or bad, has been explored in the most expert manner. We bewailed the loss of a man endowed with such genius, that one might look to find him at Court or in the common jails. We talked of canonizing you as a hero of July, and, upon my word, we regretted you!”

“We’ve been looking for you for about a week,” the speaker continued. “At your nice hotel de Saint Quentin, where, by the way, the sign with the alternating black and red letters can't be taken down, and hangs there just like it did back in the days of Jean Jacques, that Leonarda of yours told us you were gone to the countryside. Still, we definitely didn’t look like collectors, creditors, sheriff’s officers, or anything like that. But never mind! Rastignac saw you the night before at the Bouffons; we got our courage back and made it our mission to find out if you were hanging out in a tree in the Champs-Elysees, or in one of those charitable places where beggars sleep on a cheap rope, or if, more hopefully, you were camped out in some boudoir or another. We couldn’t find you anywhere. Your name wasn’t in the jailers’ records at St. Pelagie or La Force! Government offices, cafes, libraries, lists of prefects’ names, newspaper offices, restaurants, greenrooms—to sum it up, every hiding spot in Paris, good or bad, has been searched expertly. We mourned the loss of a man with such talent that you might expect to find him at the Court or in the common jails. We even talked about canonizing you as a hero of July, and honestly, we missed you!”

As he spoke, the friends were crossing the Pont des Arts. Without listening to them, Raphael looked at the Seine, at the clamoring waves that reflected the lights of Paris. Above that river, in which but now he had thought to fling himself, the old man’s prediction had been fulfilled, the hour of his death had been already put back by fate.

As he talked, the friends were crossing the Pont des Arts. Not paying attention to them, Raphael looked at the Seine, at the noisy waves reflecting the lights of Paris. Above that river, where he had just thought about throwing himself in, the old man’s prediction had come true; fate had already postponed the hour of his death.

“We really regretted you,” said his friend, still pursuing his theme. “It was a question of a plan in which we included you as a superior person, that is to say, somebody who can put himself above other people. The constitutional thimble-rig is carried on to-day, dear boy, more seriously than ever. The infamous monarchy, displaced by the heroism of the people, was a sort of drab, you could laugh and revel with her; but La Patrie is a shrewish and virtuous wife, and willy-nilly you must take her prescribed endearments. Then besides, as you know, authority passed over from the Tuileries to the journalists, at the time when the Budget changed its quarters and went from the Faubourg Saint-Germain to the Chaussee de Antin. But this you may not know perhaps. The Government, that is, the aristocracy of lawyers and bankers who represent the country to-day, just as the priests used to do in the time of the monarchy, has felt the necessity of mystifying the worthy people of France with a few new words and old ideas, like philosophers of every school, and all strong intellects ever since time began. So now Royalist-national ideas must be inculcated, by proving to us that it is far better to pay twelve million francs, thirty-three centimes to La Patrie, represented by Messieurs Such-and-Such, than to pay eleven hundred million francs, nine centimes to a king who used to say I instead of we. In a word, a journal, with two or three hundred thousand francs, good, at the back of it, has just been started, with a view to making an opposition paper to content the discontented, without prejudice to the national government of the citizen-king. We scoff at liberty as at despotism now, and at religion or incredulity quite impartially. And since, for us, ‘our country’ means a capital where ideas circulate and are sold at so much a line, a succulent dinner every day, and the play at frequent intervals, where profligate women swarm, where suppers last on into the next day, and light loves are hired by the hour like cabs; and since Paris will always be the most adorable of all countries, the country of joy, liberty, wit, pretty women, mauvais sujets, and good wine; where the truncheon of authority never makes itself disagreeably felt, because one is so close to those who wield it,—we, therefore, sectaries of the god Mephistopheles, have engaged to whitewash the public mind, to give fresh costumes to the actors, to put a new plank or two in the government booth, to doctor doctrinaires, and warm up old Republicans, to touch up the Bonapartists a bit, and revictual the Centre; provided that we are allowed to laugh in petto at both kings and peoples, to think one thing in the morning and another at night, and to lead a merry life a la Panurge, or to recline upon soft cushions, more orientali.

“We really missed you,” said his friend, continuing his point. “It was about a plan where we saw you as an important figure, someone who stands out from the crowd. The whole political charade is more serious than ever nowadays, my friend. The terrible monarchy, removed by the bravery of the people, was more amusing; you could joke around with it. But La Patrie is like a nagging and virtuous spouse, and whether you like it or not, you have to accept her prescribed affection. Besides, as you know, authority shifted from the Tuileries to the journalists when the Budget moved from Faubourg Saint-Germain to Chaussee de Antin. You might not know this part. The Government, meaning the elite of lawyers and bankers representing the country today, just like the priests during the monarchy, feels the need to confuse the good people of France with some new phrases and old concepts, like philosophers of all kinds, and all intelligent minds throughout history. So now, Royalist-national ideas are being pushed on us, convincing us that it’s way better to pay twelve million francs and thirty-three centimes to La Patrie, represented by Messieurs Such-and-Such, than to fork over eleven hundred million francs and nine centimes to a king who used to say I instead of we. In short, a newspaper with a couple of hundred thousand francs backing it has just launched, aiming to create an opposition paper to satisfy the dissatisfied, all while respecting the national government of the citizen-king. We mock liberty just as we do despotism now, and we approach religion or disbelief with the same indifference. And since, for us, ‘our country’ means a city where ideas move around and are sold by the line, having a lavish dinner every day, and catching a show now and then, where wild women gather, where dinners stretch into the next day, and fleeting romances are bought by the hour like cabs; and as Paris will always be the most wonderful of all places, the land of joy, freedom, wit, beautiful women, mauvais sujets, and fine wine; where the authorities rarely intrude because we’re so close to those in power,—we, therefore, followers of the god Mephistopheles, have agreed to refresh the public mind, to give new outfits to the players, to add a few new features to the government, to modify some ideologies, revive old Republicans, tweak the Bonapartists a bit, and restock the Centre; as long as we can laugh in petto at both kings and the people, think one thing in the morning and something else at night, and live a fun life a la Panurge, or lounge on soft cushions, more orientali.

“The sceptre of this burlesque and macaronic kingdom,” he went on, “we have reserved for you; so we are taking you straightway to a dinner given by the founder of the said newspaper, a retired banker, who, at a loss to know what to do with his money, is going to buy some brains with it. You will be welcomed as a brother, we shall hail you as king of these free lances who will undertake anything; whose perspicacity discovers the intentions of Austria, England, or Russia before either Russia, Austria or England have formed any. Yes, we will invest you with the sovereignty of those puissant intellects which give to the world its Mirabeaus, Talleyrands, Pitts, and Metternichs—all the clever Crispins who treat the destinies of a kingdom as gamblers’ stakes, just as ordinary men play dominoes for kirschenwasser. We have given you out to be the most undaunted champion who ever wrestled in a drinking-bout at close quarters with the monster called Carousal, whom all bold spirits wish to try a fall with; we have gone so far as to say that you have never yet been worsted. I hope you will not make liars of us. Taillefer, our amphitryon, has undertaken to surpass the circumscribed saturnalias of the petty modern Lucullus. He is rich enough to infuse pomp into trifles, and style and charm into dissipation... Are you listening, Raphael?” asked the orator, interrupting himself.

“The scepter of this ridiculous and mixed-up kingdom,” he continued, “we have set aside for you; so we’re taking you straight to a dinner hosted by the founder of that newspaper, a retired banker who, unsure of what to do with his money, plans to buy some intelligence with it. You’ll be welcomed like family; we’ll call you the king of these freelancers who will take on anything; whose sharp insight can figure out the intentions of Austria, England, or Russia before any of those countries have even thought them through. Yes, we will crown you with the power of those strong minds that give the world its Mirabeaus, Talleyrands, Pitts, and Metternichs—all the clever folks who treat the fate of a nation like a game of chance, just like ordinary people play dominoes for kirschenwasser. We have declared you to be the most fearless fighter who ever faced off against the beast known as Carousal in a close-range drinking contest, a challenge that all daring souls want to take on; we’ve even gone so far as to say you’ve never been beaten. I hope you won’t make liars out of us. Taillefer, our host, has promised to outdo the limited parties of the insignificant modern Lucullus. He’s wealthy enough to add grandeur to trivialities and style and charm to indulgence... Are you listening, Raphael?” asked the speaker, pausing.

“Yes,” answered the young man, less surprised by the accomplishment of his wishes than by the natural manner in which the events had come about.

“Yes,” replied the young man, less amazed by the fulfillment of his desires than by the straightforward way in which everything had unfolded.

He could not bring himself to believe in magic, but he marveled at the accidents of human fate.

He couldn’t bring himself to believe in magic, but he was amazed by the twists of human fate.

“Yes, you say, just as if you were thinking of your grandfather’s demise,” remarked one of his neighbors.

“Yes, you say, just like you were thinking about your grandfather’s death,” remarked one of his neighbors.

“Ah!” cried Raphael, “I was thinking, my friends, that we are in a fair way to become very great scoundrels,” and there was an ingenuousness in his tones that set these writers, the hope of young France, in a roar. “So far our blasphemies have been uttered over our cups; we have passed our judgments on life while drunk, and taken men and affairs in an after-dinner frame of mind. We were innocent of action; we were bold in words. But now we are to be branded with the hot iron of politics; we are going to enter the convict’s prison and to drop our illusions. Although one has no belief left, except in the devil, one may regret the paradise of one’s youth and the age of innocence, when we devoutly offered the tip of our tongue to some good priest for the consecrated wafer of the sacrament. Ah, my good friends, our first peccadilloes gave us so much pleasure because the consequent remorse set them off and lent a keen relish to them; but nowadays——”

“Ah!” exclaimed Raphael, “I was thinking, my friends, that we’re on our way to becoming real scoundrels,” and there was a sincerity in his voice that made these writers, the hopeful future of young France, burst out laughing. “So far, we’ve only spoken our blasphemies over drinks; we’ve judged life while drunk and assessed people and situations with a post-dinner mindset. We were innocent of action; we were bold in our words. But now we’re about to be marked by the scorching iron of politics; we’re stepping into the convict’s prison and letting go of our illusions. Even if one has lost all faith except in the devil, one might still long for the paradise of youth and the age of innocence, when we faithfully offered the tip of our tongue to some good priest for the sacred wafer of the sacrament. Ah, my good friends, our first minor sins brought us so much joy because the resulting guilt highlighted them and added to their flavor; but nowadays—”

“Oh! now,” said the first speaker, “there is still left——”

“Oh! now,” said the first speaker, “there is still left——”

“What?” asked another.

“What?” asked someone else.

“Crime——”

"Crime—"

“There is a word as high as the gallows and deeper than the Seine,” said Raphael.

“There’s a word as high as the gallows and deeper than the Seine,” said Raphael.

“Oh, you don’t understand me; I mean political crime. Since this morning, a conspirator’s life is the only one I covet. I don’t know that the fancy will last over to-morrow, but to-night at least my gorge rises at the anaemic life of our civilization and its railroad evenness. I am seized with a passion for the miseries of retreat from Moscow, for the excitements of the Red Corsair, or for a smuggler’s life. I should like to go to Botany Bay, as we have no Chartreaux left us here in France; it is a sort of infirmary reserved for little Lord Byrons who, having crumpled up their lives like a serviette after dinner, have nothing left to do but to set their country ablaze, blow their own brains out, plot for a republic or clamor for a war——”

“Oh, you don’t get me; I mean political crime. Since this morning, a conspirator’s life is the only one I desire. I don’t know if this feeling will last until tomorrow, but for tonight at least, I can’t stand the dull life of our civilization and its monotony. I feel an urge for the struggles of the retreat from Moscow, for the thrills of the Red Corsair, or for a smuggler’s lifestyle. I’d like to go to Botany Bay since we have no Chartreaux left here in France; it’s like a rest home for little Lord Byrons who, having crumpled up their lives like a napkin after dinner, have nothing left to do but set their country on fire, blow their own brains out, scheme for a republic, or cry out for a war——”

“Emile,” Raphael’s neighbor called eagerly to the speaker, “on my honor, but for the revolution of July I would have taken orders, and gone off down into the country somewhere to lead the life of an animal, and——”

“Emile,” Raphael’s neighbor called eagerly to the speaker, “I swear, if it weren’t for the July Revolution, I would have joined the clergy and gone off to live in the countryside like a hermit, and——”

“And you would have read your breviary through every day.”

“And you would have read your prayer book every day.”

“Yes.”

“Yep.”

“You are a coxcomb!”

“You're a fool!”

“Why, we read the newspapers as it is!”

“Why, we read the news just like it is!”

“Not bad that, for a journalist! But hold your tongue, we are going through a crowd of subscribers. Journalism, look you, is the religion of modern society, and has even gone a little further.”

“Not bad for a journalist! But be quiet, we’re walking through a crowd of subscribers. Journalism, you see, is the religion of modern society, and it has even evolved a bit more.”

“What do you mean?”

"What do you mean?"

“Its pontiffs are not obliged to believe in it any more than the people are.”

“Its leaders aren’t required to believe in it any more than the people are.”

Chatting thus, like good fellows who have known their De Viris illustribus for years past, they reached a mansion in the Rue Joubert.

Chatting like good friends who have known their De Viris illustribus for years, they arrived at a house on Rue Joubert.

Emile was a journalist who had acquired more reputation by dint of doing nothing than others had derived from their achievements. A bold, caustic, and powerful critic, he possessed all the qualities that his defects permitted. An outspoken giber, he made numberless epigrams on a friend to his face; but would defend him, if absent, with courage and loyalty. He laughed at everything, even at his own career. Always impecunious, he yet lived, like all men of his calibre, plunged in unspeakable indolence. He would fling some word containing volumes in the teeth of folk who could not put a syllable of sense into their books. He lavished promises that he never fulfilled; he made a pillow of his luck and reputation, on which he slept, and ran the risk of waking up to old age in a workhouse. A steadfast friend to the gallows foot, a cynical swaggerer with a child’s simplicity, a worker only from necessity or caprice.

Emile was a journalist who gained more fame from doing nothing than others did from their accomplishments. A bold, sharp, and influential critic, he had all the traits his flaws allowed. An outspoken tease, he made countless witty remarks to a friend's face but would defend him fiercely and loyally when he wasn't around. He found humor in everything, even his own career. Always short on cash, he lived like all people of his kind, lost in a deep laziness. He would toss out clever comments at people who couldn’t string together a sensible sentence in their books. He made promises he never kept, resting on his luck and reputation, unaware he might one day wake up in a nursing home. A loyal friend to the bitter end, a cynical show-off with a child's innocence, he worked only when he had to or when it suited him.

“In the language of Maitre Alcofribas, we are about to make a famous troncon de chiere lie,” he remarked to Raphael as he pointed out the flower-stands that made a perfumed forest of the staircase.

“In the language of Maitre Alcofribas, we're about to create a famous troncon de chiere lie,” he said to Raphael while indicating the flower stands that transformed the staircase into a fragrant forest.

“I like a vestibule to be well warmed and richly carpeted,” Raphael said. “Luxury in the peristyle is not common in France. I feel as if life had begun anew here.”

“I like a lobby to be nice and warm with plush carpets,” Raphael said. “Luxury in the colonnade isn’t common in France. I feel like life has started over here.”

“And up above we are going to drink and make merry once more, my dear Raphael. Ah! yes,” he went on, “and I hope we are going to come off conquerors, too, and walk over everybody else’s head.”

“And up above we're going to drink and celebrate again, my dear Raphael. Ah! yes,” he continued, “and I hope we end up victorious as well, and walk all over everyone else.”

As he spoke, he jestingly pointed to the guests. They were entering a large room which shone with gilding and lights, and there all the younger men of note in Paris welcomed them. Here was one who had just revealed fresh powers, his first picture vied with the glories of Imperial art. There, another, who but yesterday had launched forth a volume, an acrid book filled with a sort of literary arrogance, which opened up new ways to the modern school. A sculptor, not far away, with vigorous power visible in his rough features, was chatting with one of those unenthusiastic scoffers who can either see excellence anywhere or nowhere, as it happens. Here, the cleverest of our caricaturists, with mischievous eyes and bitter tongue, lay in wait for epigrams to translate into pencil strokes; there, stood the young and audacious writer, who distilled the quintessence of political ideas better than any other man, or compressed the work of some prolific writer as he held him up to ridicule; he was talking with the poet whose works would have eclipsed all the writings of the time if his ability had been as strenuous as his hatreds. Both were trying not to say the truth while they kept clear of lies, as they exchanged flattering speeches. A famous musician administered soothing consolation in a rallying fashion, to a young politician who had just fallen quite unhurt, from his rostrum. Young writers who lacked style stood beside other young writers who lacked ideas, and authors of poetical prose by prosaic poets.

As he spoke, he jokingly pointed to the guests. They were entering a large room that sparkled with gold and lights, where all the notable young men of Paris greeted them. Here was one who had just showcased new talents; his first painting compared favorably with the splendors of Imperial art. There, another had just published a book filled with a kind of literary arrogance that opened up new paths for the modern school. A sculptor nearby, with a strong presence visible in his rugged features, was chatting with one of those cynical critics who can see brilliance sometimes but not others. Here, the smartest of our caricaturists, with mischievous eyes and a sharp tongue, was waiting to turn clever remarks into sketches; there stood the bold young writer, who distilled political ideas better than anyone else, or ridiculed the works of some prolific author; he was talking with the poet whose works would have overshadowed everything if his talent had matched his passions. Both were trying not to tell the truth while avoiding outright lies as they exchanged flattering remarks. A famous musician offered comforting words to a young politician who had just fallen unscathed from his podium. Young writers lacking style stood beside other young writers lacking ideas, while authors of poetic prose mingled with prosaic poets.

At the sight of all these incomplete beings, a simple Saint Simonian, ingenuous enough to believe in his own doctrine, charitably paired them off, designing, no doubt, to convert them into monks of his order. A few men of science mingled in the conversation, like nitrogen in the atmosphere, and several vaudevillistes shed rays like the sparking diamonds that give neither light nor heat. A few paradox-mongers, laughing up their sleeves at any folk who embraced their likes or dislikes in men or affairs, had already begun a two-edged policy, conspiring against all systems, without committing themselves to any side. Then there was the self-appointed critic who admires nothing, and will blow his nose in the middle of a cavatina at the Bouffons, who applauds before any one else begins, and contradicts every one who says what he himself was about to say; he was there giving out the sayings of wittier men for his own. Of all the assembled guests, a future lay before some five; ten or so should acquire a fleeting renown; as for the rest, like all mediocrities, they might apply to themselves the famous falsehood of Louis XVIII., Union and oblivion.

At the sight of all these incomplete people, a simple Saint Simonian, naive enough to believe in his own beliefs, kindly paired them off, probably intending to turn them into monks of his order. A few scientists joined the conversation, like nitrogen in the air, and several performers sparkled like diamonds that give neither light nor heat. A few people who loved to debate, secretly laughing at anyone who had strong likes or dislikes about others or situations, had already started a double-edged approach, plotting against all systems without siding with any. Then there was the self-appointed critic who admires nothing, who would blow his nose in the middle of a performance at the Bouffons, applauding before anyone else starts, and contradicting everyone who said what he was about to say; he was there claiming the clever quotes of wittier people as his own. Of all the guests gathered, a future lay ahead for about five; around ten or so would gain brief fame; as for the rest, like all mediocrities, they might take to heart the famous falsehood of Louis XVIII., Union and oblivion.

The anxious jocularity of a man who is expending two thousand crowns sat on their host. His eyes turned impatiently towards the door from time to time, seeking one of his guests who kept him waiting. Very soon a stout little person appeared, who was greeted by a complimentary murmur; it was the notary who had invented the newspaper that very morning. A valet-de-chambre in black opened the doors of a vast dining-room, whither every one went without ceremony, and took his place at an enormous table.

The nervous joking of a man who was spending two thousand crowns weighed on their host. He glanced impatiently at the door now and then, waiting for one of his guests. Soon, a short, stout person appeared, welcomed by murmurs of praise; it was the notary who had come up with the newspaper that very morning. A black-suited valet opened the doors to a large dining room, and everyone entered without formality, taking their seats at a huge table.

Raphael took a last look round the room before he left it. His wish had been realized to the full. The rooms were adorned with silk and gold. Countless wax tapers set in handsome candelabra lit up the slightest details of gilded friezes, the delicate bronze sculpture, and the splendid colors of the furniture. The sweet scent of rare flowers, set in stands tastefully made of bamboo, filled the air. Everything, even the curtains, was pervaded by elegance without pretension, and there was a certain imaginative charm about it all which acted like a spell on the mind of a needy man.

Raphael took one last look around the room before he left. His wish had been completely fulfilled. The rooms were decorated with silk and gold. Countless wax candles in beautiful candelabra illuminated the smallest details of the gilded friezes, the delicate bronze sculptures, and the vibrant colors of the furniture. The sweet fragrance of rare flowers, arranged in stylish bamboo stands, filled the air. Everything, even the curtains, exuded elegance without being ostentatious, and there was a captivating charm to it all that enchanted the mind of a desperate man.

“An income of a hundred thousand livres a year is a very nice beginning of the catechism, and a wonderful assistance to putting morality into our actions,” he said, sighing. “Truly my sort of virtue can scarcely go afoot, and vice means, to my thinking, a garret, a threadbare coat, a gray hat in winter time, and sums owing to the porter.... I should like to live in the lap of luxury a year, or six months, no matter! And then afterwards, die. I should have known, exhausted, and consumed a thousand lives, at any rate.”

“An income of a hundred thousand livres a year is a great start for understanding life, and it's a fantastic help in making morality part of our actions,” he said with a sigh. “Honestly, my kind of virtue barely gets a chance, and to me, vice means living in a small room, wearing a worn-out coat, having a gray hat in winter, and owing money to the porter.... I would love to live in luxury for a year, or six months, it doesn’t matter! And then, afterwards, die. I would have experienced, exhausted, and lived a thousand lives, at least.”

“Why, you are taking the tone of a stockbroker in good luck,” said Emile, who overheard him. “Pooh! your riches would be a burden to you as soon as you found that they would spoil your chances of coming out above the rest of us. Hasn’t the artist always kept the balance true between the poverty of riches and the riches of poverty? And isn’t struggle a necessity to some of us? Look out for your digestion, and only look,” he added, with a mock-heroic gesture, “at the majestic, thrice holy, and edifying appearance of this amiable capitalist’s dining-room. That man has in reality only made his money for our benefit. Isn’t he a kind of sponge of the polyp order, overlooked by naturalists, which should be carefully squeezed before he is left for his heirs to feed upon? There is style, isn’t there, about those bas-reliefs that adorn the walls? And the lustres, and the pictures, what luxury well carried out! If one may believe those who envy him, or who know, or think they know, the origins of his life, then this man got rid of a German and some others—his best friend for one, and the mother of that friend, during the Revolution. Could you house crimes under the venerable Taillefer’s silvering locks? He looks to me a very worthy man. Only see how the silver sparkles, and is every glittering ray like a stab of a dagger to him?... Let us go in, one might as well believe in Mahomet. If common report speak truth, here are thirty men of talent, and good fellows too, prepared to dine off the flesh and blood of a whole family;... and here are we ourselves, a pair of youngsters full of open-hearted enthusiasm, and we shall be partakers in his guilt. I have a mind to ask our capitalist whether he is a respectable character....”

“Why are you acting like a lucky stockbroker?” Emile said, who overheard him. “Come on! Your wealth would become a burden the moment you realized it would ruin your chances of standing out among the rest of us. Hasn’t the artist always managed to balance the emptiness of riches with the wealth of poverty? And isn’t some level of struggle essential for us? Be careful with your digestion, and just look,” he added, with a dramatic gesture, “at the grand, holy, and inspiring sight of this charming capitalist’s dining room. That guy has really only made his money for our benefit. Isn’t he somewhat like a sponge of the polyp type, overlooked by scientists, which should be squeezed dry before being left to his heirs to feed on? There’s a certain style, right, in those bas-reliefs on the walls? And the chandeliers, and the paintings, what luxurious execution! If we’re to believe those who envy him or claim to know his background, that guy got rid of a German and some others—his best friend for one, and that friend’s mother, during the Revolution. Could you really hide crimes under the venerable Taillefer’s silver hair? He seems like a pretty decent guy to me. Just look at how the silver shines, and isn’t every sparkling beam like a dagger stab to him?... Let’s go in, one might as well believe in Muhammad. If the rumors are true, there are thirty talented guys, and good people too, ready to dine on the flesh and blood of an entire family;... and here we are, a couple of young kids full of enthusiasm, and we’ll be sharing in his guilt. I’m thinking of asking our capitalist if he’s a respectable person....”

“No, not now,” cried Raphael, “but when he is dead drunk, we shall have had our dinner then.”

“No, not now,” Raphael exclaimed, “but when he’s dead drunk, we’ll have had our dinner then.”

The two friends sat down laughing. First of all, by a glance more rapid than a word, each paid his tribute of admiration to the splendid general effect of the long table, white as a bank of freshly-fallen snow, with its symmetrical line of covers, crowned with their pale golden rolls of bread. Rainbow colors gleamed in the starry rays of light reflected by the glass; the lights of the tapers crossed and recrossed each other indefinitely; the dishes covered with their silver domes whetted both appetite and curiosity.

The two friends sat down, laughing. First, with a look quicker than a word, they both acknowledged the impressive overall appearance of the long table, white like a fresh blanket of snow, with its neat line of place settings topped with pale golden rolls of bread. Rainbow colors shimmered in the starry beams of light reflected by the glass; the lights from the candles flickered and danced endlessly; the dishes covered with their silver domes heightened both appetite and curiosity.

Few words were spoken. Neighbors exchanged glances as the Maderia circulated. Then the first course appeared in all its glory; it would have done honor to the late Cambaceres, Brillat-Savarin would have celebrated it. The wines of Bordeaux and Burgundy, white and red, were royally lavished. This first part of the banquet might been compared in every way to a rendering of some classical tragedy. The second act grew a trifle noisier. Every guest had had a fair amount to drink, and had tried various crus at this pleasure, so that as the remains of the magnificent first course were removed, tumultuous discussions began; a pale brow here and there began to flush, sundry noses took a purpler hue, faces lit up, and eyes sparkled.

Few words were exchanged. Neighbors shared glances as the Maderia circulated. Then the first course arrived in all its splendor; it would have made the late Cambaceres proud, and Brillat-Savarin would have celebrated it. The wines from Bordeaux and Burgundy, both white and red, were generously poured. This first part of the feast could be likened to a performance of a classic tragedy. The second act became a bit more lively. Every guest had enjoyed a good amount to drink and had sampled various selections at their pleasure, so as the remnants of the magnificent first course were cleared away, lively discussions began; a pale brow here and there started to flush, some noses took on a deeper hue, faces brightened, and eyes sparkled.

While intoxication was only dawning, the conversation did not overstep the bounds of civility; but banter and bon mots slipped by degrees from every tongue; and then slander began to rear its little snake’s heard, and spoke in dulcet tones; a few shrewd ones here and there gave heed to it, hoping to keep their heads. So the second course found their minds somewhat heated. Every one ate as he spoke, spoke while he ate, and drank without heeding the quantity of the liquor, the wine was so biting, the bouquet so fragrant, the example around so infectious. Taillefer made a point of stimulating his guests, and plied them with the formidable wines of the Rhone, with fierce Tokay, and heady old Roussillon.

While people were just starting to get drunk, the conversation stayed polite; but jokes and clever remarks gradually slipped out from everyone. Then, gossip began to poke its head up and spoke in sweet tones; a few sharp individuals paid attention, hoping to stay out of trouble. By the time the second course was served, their minds were a bit heated. Everyone ate as they talked, talked while they ate, and drank without worrying about how much alcohol they were consuming, because the wine was so strong, the aroma so delightful, and the atmosphere so contagious. Taillefer made an effort to energize his guests, serving them the powerful wines of the Rhône, intense Tokay, and bold old Roussillon.

The champagne, impatiently expected and lavishly poured out, was a scourge of fiery sparks to these men; released like post-horses from some mail-coach by a relay; they let their spirits gallop away into the wilds of argument to which no one listened, began to tell stories which had no auditors, and repeatedly asked questions to which no answer was made. Only the loud voice of wassail could be heard, a voice made up of a hundred confused clamors, which rose and grew like a crescendo of Rossini’s. Insidious toasts, swagger, and challenges followed.

The champagne, eagerly awaited and poured lavishly, sparked excitement in these men; released like horses from a stagecoach, they let their spirits run wild in arguments that no one paid attention to, started telling stories that had no listeners, and kept asking questions that went unanswered. Only the loud sounds of celebration could be heard, a mix of a hundred overlapping voices, rising and swelling like a crescendo from a Rossini piece. Sneaky toasts, bravado, and challenges came next.

Each renounced any pride in his own intellectual capacity, in order to vindicate that of hogsheads, casks, and vats; and each made noise enough for two. A time came when the footmen smiled, while their masters all talked at once. A philosopher would have been interested, doubtless, by the singularity of the thoughts expressed, a politician would have been amazed by the incongruity of the methods discussed in the melee of words or doubtfully luminous paradoxes, where truths, grotesquely caparisoned, met in conflict across the uproar of brawling judgments, of arbitrary decisions and folly, much as bullets, shells, and grapeshot are hurled across a battlefield.

Each set aside any pride in their own intelligence to defend that of barrels and casks; and they each made enough noise for two. Then there was a moment when the footmen smiled while their masters all spoke at once. A philosopher would have found the uniqueness of the ideas expressed intriguing, while a politician would have been struck by the absurdity of the methods discussed amidst the chaos of words or uncertain yet profound contradictions, where truths, dressed in bizarre attire, clashed across the uproar of fighting opinions, arbitrary decisions, and foolishness, much like bullets, shells, and grape shot are thrown across a battlefield.

It was at once a volume and a picture. Every philosophy, religion, and moral code differing so greatly in every latitude, every government, every great achievement of the human intellect, fell before a scythe as long as Time’s own; and you might have found it hard to decide whether it was wielded by Gravity intoxicated, or by Inebriation grown sober and clear-sighted. Borne away by a kind of tempest, their minds, like the sea raging against the cliffs, seemed ready to shake the laws which confine the ebb and flow of civilization; unconsciously fulfilling the will of God, who has suffered evil and good to abide in nature, and reserved the secret of their continual strife to Himself. A frantic travesty of debate ensued, a Walpurgis-revel of intellects. Between the dreary jests of these children of the Revolution over the inauguration of a newspaper, and the talk of the joyous gossips at Gargantua’s birth, stretched the gulf that divides the nineteenth century from the sixteenth. Laughingly they had begun the work of destruction, and our journalists laughed amid the ruins.

It was both a book and an image. Every philosophy, religion, and moral code, so different across every region, every government, and every major achievement of human thought, fell before a scythe as long as Time itself; and it might have been hard to tell whether it was being used by Gravity inebriated or by Inebriation sobered up and clear-headed. Carried away by a kind of storm, their minds, like the sea crashing against the cliffs, seemed ready to shake the laws that regulate the rise and fall of civilization; unknowingly fulfilling the will of God, who allows both good and evil to exist in nature, keeping the secret of their ongoing struggle to Himself. A chaotic mockery of debate followed, a frenzied celebration of intellects. Between the bleak jokes of these children of the Revolution over the launch of a newspaper, and the cheerful chatter at Gargantua’s birth, lay the vast chasm that separates the nineteenth century from the sixteenth. They had jokingly begun the work of destruction, and our journalists laughed amidst the ruins.

“What is the name of that young man over there?” said the notary, indicating Raphael. “I thought I heard some one call him Valentin.”

“What’s the name of that young guy over there?” said the notary, pointing at Raphael. “I thought I heard someone call him Valentin.”

“What stuff is this?” said Emile, laughing; “plain Valentin, say you? Raphael DE Valentin, if you please. We bear an eagle or, on a field sable, with a silver crown, beak and claws gules, and a fine motto: NON CECIDIT ANIMUS. We are no foundling child, but a descendant of the Emperor Valens, of the stock of the Valentinois, founders of the cities of Valence in France, and Valencia in Spain, rightful heirs to the Empire of the East. If we suffer Mahmoud on the throne of Byzantium, it is out of pure condescension, and for lack of funds and soldiers.”

“What is this stuff?” Emile asked, laughing. “Just plain Valentin, you say? Raphael DE Valentin, if you don’t mind. We carry an eagle on a black field, with a silver crown, beak and claws in red, and a great motto: NON CECIDIT ANIMUS. We are not some abandoned child, but a descendant of Emperor Valens, from the line of the Valentinois, who founded the cities of Valence in France and Valencia in Spain, rightful heirs to the Eastern Empire. If we let Mahmoud sit on the throne of Byzantium, it’s purely out of kindness, and because we’re short on funds and soldiers.”

With a fork flourished above Raphael’s head, Emile outlined a crown upon it. The notary bethought himself a moment, but soon fell to drinking again, with a gesture peculiar to himself; it was quite impossible, it seemed to say to secure in his clientele the cities of Valence and Byzantium, the Emperor Valens, Mahmoud, and the house of Valentinois.

With a fork raised above Raphael’s head, Emile traced a crown in the air. The notary paused for a moment, but soon went back to drinking with his signature gesture; it seemed impossible to him to secure in his clientele the cities of Valence and Byzantium, the Emperor Valens, Mahmoud, and the house of Valentinois.

“Should not the destruction of those ant-hills, Babylon, Tyre, Carthage, and Venice, each crushed beneath the foot of a passing giant, serve as a warning to man, vouchsafed by some mocking power?” said Claude Vignon, who must play the Bossuet, as a sort of purchased slave, at the rate of fivepence a line.

“Shouldn’t the destruction of those ant-hills, like Babylon, Tyre, Carthage, and Venice, each crushed under the foot of a passing giant, be a warning to humanity, given by some mocking power?” said Claude Vignon, who has to play the Bossuet, like a sort of hired help, at the rate of five pence a line.

“Perhaps Moses, Sylla, Louis XI., Richelieu, Robespierre, and Napoleon were but the same man who crosses our civilizations now and again, like a comet across the sky,” said a disciple of Ballanche.

“Maybe Moses, Sylla, Louis XI, Richelieu, Robespierre, and Napoleon were just the same person who moves through our civilizations every now and then, like a comet streaking across the sky,” said a follower of Ballanche.

“Why try to fathom the designs of Providence?” said Canalis, maker of ballads.

“Why try to understand the plans of Fate?” said Canalis, ballad writer.

“Come, now,” said the man who set up for a critic, “there is nothing more elastic in the world than your Providence.”

“Come on,” said the man pretending to be a critic, “there’s nothing more flexible in the world than your Providence.”

“Well, sir, Louis XIV. sacrificed more lives over digging the foundations of the Maintenon’s aqueducts, than the Convention expended in order to assess the taxes justly, to make one law for everybody, and one nation of France, and to establish the rule of equal inheritance,” said Massol, whom the lack of a syllable before his name had made a Republican.

“Well, sir, Louis XIV sacrificed more lives digging the foundations of the Maintenon aqueducts than the Convention used to fairly assess taxes, create one law for everyone, unite the nation of France, and establish the principle of equal inheritance,” said Massol, whose lack of a title before his name had turned him into a Republican.

“Are you going to leave our heads on our shoulders?” asked Moreau (of the Oise), a substantial farmer. “You, sir, who took blood for wine just now?”

“Are you going to leave our heads on our shoulders?” asked Moreau (of the Oise), a well-off farmer. “You, sir, who just traded blood for wine?”

“Where is the use? Aren’t the principles of social order worth some sacrifices, sir?”

“What's the point? Aren’t the principles of social order worth some sacrifices, sir?”

“Hi! Bixiou! What’s-his-name, the Republican, considers a landowner’s head a sacrifice!” said a young man to his neighbor.

“Hey! Bixiou! That guy, the Republican, thinks a landowner's head is a sacrifice!” said a young man to his neighbor.

“Men and events count for nothing,” said the Republican, following out his theory in spite of hiccoughs; “in politics, as in philosophy, there are only principles and ideas.”

“Men and events don’t matter,” said the Republican, sticking to his theory despite hiccups; “in politics, just like in philosophy, there are only principles and ideas.”

“What an abomination! Then you would ruthlessly put your friends to death for a shibboleth?”

“What a disgrace! So you would mercilessly kill your friends over a password?”

“Eh, sir! the man who feels compunction is your thorough scoundrel, for he has some notion of virtue; while Peter the Great and the Duke of Alva were embodied systems, and the pirate Monbard an organization.”

“Hey, sir! The man who feels guilt is your complete scoundrel, because he has some idea of virtue; while Peter the Great and the Duke of Alva were living systems, and the pirate Monbard a structure.”

“But can’t society rid itself of your systems and organizations?” said Canalis.

"But can't society get rid of your systems and organizations?" Canalis said.

“Oh, granted!” cried the Republican.

“Oh, sure!” cried the Republican.

“That stupid Republic of yours makes me feel queasy. We sha’n’t be able to carve a capon in peace, because we shall find the agrarian law inside it.”

“That ridiculous Republic of yours makes me feel sick. We won’t be able to carve a capon in peace, because we’ll find the agrarian law inside it.”

“Ah, my little Brutus, stuffed with truffles, your principles are all right enough. But you are like my valet, the rogue is so frightfully possessed with a mania for property that if I left him to clean my clothes after his fashion, he would soon clean me out.”

“Ah, my little Brutus, full of fancy ideas, your beliefs are perfectly valid. But you're like my servant; he's so obsessed with accumulating things that if I let him handle my laundry his way, he would quickly take everything I own.”

“Crass idiots!” replied the Republican, “you are for setting a nation straight with toothpicks. To your way of thinking, justice is more dangerous than thieves.”

“Crass idiots!” replied the Republican, “you think you can fix a nation with toothpicks. To you, justice is more dangerous than thieves.”

“Oh, dear!” cried the attorney Deroches.

“Oh, no!” exclaimed the lawyer Deroches.

“Aren’t they a bore with their politics!” said the notary Cardot. “Shut up. That’s enough of it. There is no knowledge nor virtue worth shedding a drop of blood for. If Truth were brought into liquidation, we might find her insolvent.”

“Aren’t they a drag with their politics!” said the notary Cardot. “Just stop it. That’s enough. There’s no knowledge or virtue that’s worth spilling a drop of blood for. If Truth were put to the test, we might find it bankrupt.”

“It would be much less trouble, no doubt, to amuse ourselves with evil, rather than dispute about good. Moreover, I would give all the speeches made for forty years past at the Tribune for a trout, for one of Perrault’s tales or Charlet’s sketches.”

"It would definitely be much easier to entertain ourselves with bad things rather than argue about what’s good. Plus, I would trade all the speeches given at the Tribune over the past forty years for a trout, or for one of Perrault’s stories or Charlet’s drawings."

“Quite right!... Hand me the asparagus. Because, after all, liberty begets anarchy, anarchy leads to despotism, and despotism back again to liberty. Millions have died without securing a triumph for any one system. Is not that the vicious circle in which the whole moral world revolves? Man believes that he has reached perfection, when in fact he has but rearranged matters.”

“Exactly!... Pass me the asparagus. Because, after all, freedom leads to chaos, chaos results in tyranny, and tyranny eventually circles back to freedom. Millions have died without achieving victory for any one system. Isn’t that the destructive cycle in which the entire moral world turns? Humanity thinks it has achieved perfection, when in reality, it has merely shuffled things around.”

“Oh! oh!” cried Cursy, the vaudevilliste; “in that case, gentlemen, here’s to Charles X., the father of liberty.”

“Oh! oh!” cried Cursy, the vaudevilliste; “in that case, guys, here’s to Charles X., the father of freedom.”

“Why not?” asked Emile. “When law becomes despotic, morals are relaxed, and vice versa.

“Why not?” asked Emile. “When the law becomes tyrannical, morals loosen up, and the opposite is true.”

“Let us drink to the imbecility of authority, which gives us such an authority over imbeciles!” said the good banker.

“Let’s toast to the foolishness of authority, which gives us such power over fools!” said the kind banker.

“Napoleon left us glory, at any rate, my good friend!” exclaimed a naval officer who had never left Brest.

“Napoleon left us glory, at least, my good friend!” shouted a naval officer who had never left Brest.

“Glory is a poor bargain; you buy it dear, and it will not keep. Does not the egotism of the great take the form of glory, just as for nobodies it is their own well-being?”

“Glory is a bad deal; you pay a high price for it, and it doesn’t last. Doesn’t the selfishness of the great show up as glory, just like for unknowns it’s about their own happiness?”

“You are very fortunate, sir——”

“You're very lucky, sir—”

“The first inventor of ditches must have been a weakling, for society is only useful to the puny. The savage and the philosopher, at either extreme of the moral scale, hold property in equal horror.”

“The first person to invent ditches must have been weak, because society only benefits the weak. Both the savage and the philosopher, at opposite ends of the moral spectrum, equally disdain property.”

“All very fine!” said Cardot; “but if there were no property, there would be no documents to draw up.”

"All good!" said Cardot; "but without property, there would be no documents to create."

“These green peas are excessively delicious!”

“These green peas are incredibly delicious!”

“And the cure was found dead in his bed in the morning....”

"And the cure was found dead in his bed in the morning...."

“Who is talking about death? Pray don’t trifle, I have an uncle.”

“Who’s talking about death? Please don’t joke, I have an uncle.”

“Could you bear his loss with resignation?”

“Could you accept his loss with calmness?”

“No question.”

"Definitely."

“Gentlemen, listen to me! How to kill an uncle. Silence! (Cries of “Hush! hush!”) In the first place, take an uncle, large and stout, seventy years old at least, they are the best uncles. (Sensation.) Get him to eat a pate de foie gras, any pretext will do.”

“Gentlemen, listen up! How to kill an uncle. Silence! (Shouts of “Hush! hush!”) First, find an uncle who is large and heavyset, at least seventy years old; they make the best uncles. (Audience reaction.) Get him to eat a pate de foie gras; any excuse will work.”

“Ah, but my uncle is a thin, tall man, and very niggardly and abstemious.”

“Ah, but my uncle is a tall, thin man, and very stingy and temperate.”

“That sort of uncle is a monster; he misappropriates existence.”

“That kind of uncle is a nightmare; he misuses life.”

“Then,” the speaker on uncles went on, “tell him, while he is digesting it, that his banker has failed.”

“Then,” the speaker about uncles continued, “tell him, while he’s processing it, that his banker has gone under.”

“How if he bears up?”

“How if he handles it?”

“Let loose a pretty girl on him.”

“Send a cute girl over to him.”

“And if——?” asked the other, with a shake of the head.

“And if——?” asked the other, shaking their head.

“Then he wouldn’t be an uncle—an uncle is a gay dog by nature.”

“Then he wouldn’t be an uncle—an uncle is a fun-loving guy by nature.”

“Malibran has lost two notes in her voice.”

“Malibran has lost two notes in her voice.”

“No, sir, she has not.”

“No, she hasn’t, sir.”

“Yes, sir, she has.”

"Yes, she has."

“Oh, ho! No and yes, is not that the sum-up of all religious, political, or literary dissertations? Man is a clown dancing on the edge of an abyss.”

“Oh, wow! Is that not the essence of all religious, political, or literary discussions? Humanity is a fool performing on the brink of a void.”

“You would make out that I am a fool.”

"You would make me look like a fool."

“On the contrary, you cannot make me out.”

“On the other hand, you can't figure me out.”

“Education, there’s a pretty piece of tomfoolery. M. Heineffettermach estimates the number of printed volumes at more than a thousand millions; and a man cannot read more than a hundred and fifty thousand in his lifetime. So, just tell me what that word education means. For some it consists in knowing the name of Alexander’s horse, of the dog Berecillo, of the Seigneur d’Accords, and in ignorance of the man to whom we owe the discovery of rafting and the manufacture of porcelain. For others it is the knowledge how to burn a will and live respected, be looked up to and popular, instead of stealing a watch with half-a-dozen aggravating circumstances, after a previous conviction, and so perishing, hated and dishonored, in the Place de Greve.”

"Education? That's quite a joke. M. Heineffettermach estimates there are over a billion printed books, but a person can only read about a hundred and fifty thousand in their lifetime. So, can someone explain what the word education really means? For some, it’s knowing the name of Alexander’s horse, the dog Berecillo, the Seigneur d’Accords, while being clueless about the person who discovered rafting or invented porcelain. For others, it means knowing how to destroy a will and still be respected, to be admired and popular, rather than stealing a watch with a whole bunch of unfortunate circumstances, ending up with a criminal record, and dying hated and dishonored in the Place de Greve."

“Will Nathan’s work live?”

"Will Nathan's work endure?"

“He has very clever collaborators, sir.”

"He has really smart collaborators, sir."

“Or Canalis?”

"Or Canalis?"

“He is a great man; let us say no more about him.”

“He’s a great man; let’s not say anything more about him.”

“You are all drunk!”

"You're all drunk!"

“The consequence of a Constitution is the immediate stultification of intellects. Art, science, public works, everything, is consumed by a horribly egoistic feeling, the leprosy of the time. Three hundred of your bourgeoisie, set down on benches, will only think of planting poplars. Tyranny does great things lawlessly, while Liberty will scarcely trouble herself to do petty ones lawfully.”

“The result of having a Constitution is the immediate dulling of intellects. Art, science, public works—everything gets consumed by a horribly selfish attitude, the disease of the era. Three hundred of your middle-class citizens, sitting on benches, will only consider planting poplar trees. Tyranny accomplishes significant things without law, while Liberty hardly bothers to do small things within the law.”

“Your reciprocal instruction will turn out counters in human flesh,” broke in an Absolutist. “All individuality will disappear in a people brought to a dead level by education.”

“Your mutual teaching will create mere copies of people,” interrupted an Absolutist. “All individuality will vanish in a society flattened out by education.”

“For all that, is not the aim of society to secure happiness to each member of it?” asked the Saint-Simonian.

“For all that, isn't the goal of society to ensure happiness for each of its members?” asked the Saint-Simonian.

“If you had an income of fifty thousand livres, you would not think much about the people. If you are smitten with a tender passion for the race, go to Madagascar; there you will find a nice little nation all ready to Saint-Simonize, classify, and cork up in your phials, but here every one fits into his niche like a peg in a hole. A porter is a porter, and a blockhead is a fool, without a college of fathers to promote them to those positions.”

“If you had an income of fifty thousand livres, you wouldn’t think much about the people. If you’re in love with the idea of the race, go to Madagascar; there you’ll find a nice little nation all set for you to categorize and bottle up, but here everyone fits into their role like a peg in a hole. A porter is a porter, and a fool is a fool, without needing a bunch of people to elevate them to those roles.”

“You are a Carlist.”

"You are a Carlist."

“And why not? Despotism pleases me; it implies a certain contempt for the human race. I have no animosity against kings, they are so amusing. Is it nothing to sit enthroned in a room, at a distance of thirty million leagues from the sun?”

“And why not? Despotism is enjoyable to me; it shows a certain disdain for humanity. I bear no ill will towards kings; they’re quite entertaining. Isn’t it something to sit on a throne in a room, thirty million leagues away from the sun?”

“Let us once more take a broad view of civilization,” said the man of learning who, for the benefit of the inattentive sculptor, had opened a discussion on primitive society and autochthonous races. “The vigor of a nation in its origin was in a way physical, unitary, and crude; then as aggregations increased, government advanced by a decomposition of the primitive rule, more or less skilfully managed. For example, in remote ages national strength lay in theocracy, the priest held both sword and censer; a little later there were two priests, the pontiff and the king. To-day our society, the latest word of civilization, has distributed power according to the number of combinations, and we come to the forces called business, thought, money, and eloquence. Authority thus divided is steadily approaching a social dissolution, with interest as its one opposing barrier. We depend no longer on either religion or physical force, but upon intellect. Can a book replace the sword? Can discussion be a substitute for action? That is the question.”

“Let’s take another look at civilization,” said the educated man who had started a conversation about primitive societies and indigenous peoples to help the distracted sculptor. “The strength of a nation in its early days was somewhat physical, unified, and basic; as populations grew, governance evolved through a breakdown of primitive rules, managed with varying skill. For instance, in ancient times, national power was centered in theocracy, where the priest held both the sword and the censer; later on, there were two figures of authority: the pope and the king. Today, society, the latest development of civilization, has distributed power based on a variety of combinations, leading us to forces like business, thought, money, and persuasion. This divided authority is increasingly heading toward social breakdown, with self-interest as the only barrier to that. We no longer rely on religion or brute force, but on intellect. Can a book take the place of a sword? Can discussion be a replacement for action? That’s the real question.”

“Intellect has made an end of everything,” cried the Carlist. “Come now! Absolute freedom has brought about national suicides; their triumph left them as listless as an English millionaire.”

“Intellect has finished everything,” shouted the Carlist. “Come on! Total freedom has led to national self-destruction; their victory left them feeling as indifferent as an English millionaire.”

“Won’t you tell us something new? You have made fun of authority of all sorts to-day, which is every bit as vulgar as denying the existence of God. So you have no belief left, and the century is like an old Sultan worn out by debauchery! Your Byron, in short, sings of crime and its emotions in a final despair of poetry.”

“Won't you share something new with us? You've mocked authority in all its forms today, which is just as crude as denying God's existence. So you have no beliefs left, and this century is like an old Sultan exhausted by indulgence! In short, your Byron sings about crime and its emotions in a final act of poetic despair.”

“Don’t you know,” replied Bianchon, quite drunk by this time, “that a dose of phosphorus more or less makes the man of genius or the scoundrel, a clever man or an idiot, a virtuous person or a criminal?”

“Don’t you know,” replied Bianchon, quite drunk by this time, “that a dose of phosphorus more or less makes the genius or the scoundrel, a smart person or an idiot, a virtuous individual or a criminal?”

“Can any one treat of virtue thus?” cried Cursy. “Virtue, the subject of every drama at the theatre, the denoument of every play, the foundation of every court of law....”

“Can anyone talk about virtue like this?” cried Cursy. “Virtue, the topic of every drama at the theater, the resolution of every play, the foundation of every court of law....”

“Be quiet, you ass. You are an Achilles for virtue, without his heel,” said Bixiou.

“Shut up, you idiot. You’re an Achilles for virtue, but without the weak spot,” said Bixiou.

“Some drink!”

"Some drinks!"

“What will you bet that I will drink a bottle of champagne like a flash, at one pull?”

“What do you want to bet that I can chug a bottle of champagne in one go?”

“What a flash of wit!”

“What a clever remark!”

“Drunk as lords,” muttered a young man gravely, trying to give some wine to his waistcoat.

“Drunk as lords,” muttered a young man seriously, trying to wipe some wine from his waistcoat.

“Yes, sir; real government is the art of ruling by public opinion.”

“Yes, sir; effective governance is the skill of leading through public opinion.”

“Opinion? That is the most vicious jade of all. According to you moralists and politicians, the laws you set up are always to go before those of nature, and opinion before conscience. You are right and wrong both. Suppose society bestows down pillows on us, that benefit is made up for by the gout; and justice is likewise tempered by red-tape, and colds accompany cashmere shawls.”

“Opinion? That’s the most dangerous stone of all. According to you moralists and politicians, the laws you create always come before those of nature, and opinion takes precedence over conscience. You’re both right and wrong. If society gives us soft pillows, that comfort is balanced out by the gout; and justice is also compromised by bureaucracy, while colds come along with cashmere shawls.”

“Wretch!” Emile broke in upon the misanthrope, “how can you slander civilization here at table, up to the eyes in wines and exquisite dishes? Eat away at that roebuck with the gilded horns and feet, and do not carp at your mother...”

“Wretch!” Emile interrupted the misanthrope, “how can you trash civilization here at the table, surrounded by wine and amazing food? Dig into that roebuck with the gilded horns and feet, and stop complaining about your mother...”

“Is it any fault of mine if Catholicism puts a million deities in a sack of flour, that Republics will end in a Napoleon, that monarchy dwells between the assassination of Henry IV. and the trial of Louis XVI., and Liberalism produces Lafayettes?”

“Is it my fault if Catholicism packs a million gods into a sack of flour, that republics end with a Napoleon, that monarchy exists between the assassination of Henry IV and the trial of Louis XVI, and that Liberalism produces Lafayettes?”

“Didn’t you embrace him in July?”

“Didn’t you hug him in July?”

“No.”

“Nope.”

“Then hold your tongue, you sceptic.”

“Then be quiet, you skeptic.”

“Sceptics are the most conscientious of men.”

"Skeptics are the most thoughtful people."

“They have no conscience.”

“They have no conscience.”

“What are you saying? They have two apiece at least!”

“What are you talking about? They have at least two each!”

“So you want to discount heaven, a thoroughly commercial notion. Ancient religions were but the unchecked development of physical pleasure, but we have developed a soul and expectations; some advance has been made.”

“So you want to dismiss the idea of heaven, which is a completely commercial concept. Ancient religions were just the uncontrolled pursuit of physical pleasure, but we’ve evolved a soul and have expectations; some progress has been made.”

“What can you expect, my friends, of a century filled with politics to repletion?” asked Nathan. “What befell The History of the King of Bohemia and his Seven Castles, a most entrancing conception?...”

“What can you expect, my friends, from a century overloaded with politics?” asked Nathan. “What happened to The History of the King of Bohemia and his Seven Castles, such a captivating idea?...”

“I say,” the would-be critic cried down the whole length of the table. “The phrases might have been drawn at hap-hazard from a hat, ‘twas a work written ‘down to Charenton.’”

“I say,” the aspiring critic shouted across the entire table. “The phrases could have been picked at random from a hat; it was a piece written ‘down to Charenton.’”

“You are a fool!”

“You're a fool!”

“And you are a rogue!”

“And you're a rogue!”

“Oh! oh!”

“Oh my gosh!”

“Ah! ah!”

“Wow! Wow!”

“They are going to fight.”

“They're going to fight.”

“No, they aren’t.”

“No, they’re not.”

“You will find me to-morrow, sir.”

"I'll see you tomorrow, sir."

“This very moment,” Nathan answered.

“Right now,” Nathan answered.

“Come, come, you pair of fire-eaters!”

“Come on, you two fire-breathers!”

“You are another!” said the prime mover in the quarrel.

"You’re another one!" said the main person in the argument.

“Ah, I can’t stand upright, perhaps?” asked the pugnacious Nathan, straightening himself up like a stag-beetle about to fly.

“Ah, I can’t stand up, maybe?” asked the stubborn Nathan, straightening himself like a stag beetle about to take off.

He stared stupidly round the table, then, completely exhausted by the effort, sank back into his chair, and mutely hung his head.

He stared blankly around the table, then, completely worn out from the effort, slumped back into his chair and silently hung his head.

“Would it not have been nice,” the critic said to his neighbor, “to fight about a book I have neither read nor seen?”

“Wouldn't it have been nice,” the critic said to his neighbor, “to argue about a book I haven't read or seen?”

“Emile, look out for your coat; your neighbor is growing pale,” said Bixiou.

“Emile, watch out for your coat; your neighbor is looking pale,” said Bixiou.

“Kant? Yet another ball flung out for fools to sport with, sir! Materialism and spiritualism are a fine pair of battledores with which charlatans in long gowns keep a shuttlecock a-going. Suppose that God is everywhere, as Spinoza says, or that all things proceed from God, as says St. Paul... the nincompoops, the door shuts or opens, but isn’t the movement the same? Does the fowl come from the egg, or the egg from the fowl?... Just hand me some duck... and there, you have all science.”

“Kant? Just another idea tossed out for fools to play with, sir! Materialism and spiritualism are just two sides of the same coin that frauds in long robes keep batting around. Let’s say that God is everywhere, like Spinoza says, or that everything comes from God, as St. Paul says... the idiots, the door opens or closes, but isn’t the action the same? Does the bird come from the egg, or does the egg come from the bird?... Just give me some duck... and there you have all science.”

“Simpleton!” cried the man of science, “your problem is settled by fact!”

“Simpleton!” shouted the scientist, “your problem is solved by facts!”

“What fact?”

"What info?"

“Professors’ chairs were not made for philosophy, but philosophy for the professors’ chairs. Put on a pair of spectacles and read the budget.”

“Professors’ chairs weren’t designed for philosophy; rather, philosophy was tailored for the professors’ chairs. Put on some glasses and check the budget.”

“Thieves!”

"Robbers!"

“Nincompoops!”

“Idiots!”

“Knaves!”

"Scoundrels!"

“Gulls!”

“Seagulls!”

“Where but in Paris will you find such a ready and rapid exchange of thought?” cried Bixiou in a deep, bass voice.

“Where else but in Paris will you find such a quick and effortless exchange of ideas?” shouted Bixiou in a deep, rumbling voice.

“Bixiou! Act a classical farce for us! Come now.”

“Bixiou! Put on a classic comedy for us! Let’s go.”

“Would you like me to depict the nineteenth century?”

"Do you want me to describe the 1800s?"

“Silence.”

"Be quiet."

“Pay attention.”

“Listen up.”

“Clap a muffle on your trumpets.”

“Put a mute on your trumpets.”

“Shut up, you Turk!”

"Be quiet, you Turk!"

“Give him some wine, and let that fellow keep quiet.”

“Give him some wine, and let that guy be quiet.”

“Now, then, Bixiou!”

"Alright, Bixiou!"

The artist buttoned his black coat to the collar, put on yellow gloves, and began to burlesque the Revue des Deux Mondes by acting a squinting old lady; but the uproar drowned his voice, and no one heard a word of the satire. Still, if he did not catch the spirit of the century, he represented the Revue at any rate, for his own intentions were not very clear to him.

The artist buttoned his black coat all the way to the collar, put on yellow gloves, and started to parody the Revue des Deux Mondes by impersonating a squinting old lady; but the noise drowned out his voice, and no one heard a word of his satire. Still, even if he didn’t quite capture the spirit of the times, he at least represented the Revue, as his own intentions were not very clear to him.

Dessert was served as if by magic. A huge epergne of gilded bronze from Thomire’s studio overshadowed the table. Tall statuettes, which a celebrated artist had endued with ideal beauty according to conventional European notions, sustained and carried pyramids of strawberries, pines, fresh dates, golden grapes, clear-skinned peaches, oranges brought from Setubal by steamer, pomegranates, Chinese fruit; in short, all the surprises of luxury, miracles of confectionery, the most tempting dainties, and choicest delicacies. The coloring of this epicurean work of art was enhanced by the splendors of porcelain, by sparkling outlines of gold, by the chasing of the vases. Poussin’s landscapes, copied on Sevres ware, were crowned with graceful fringes of moss, green, translucent, and fragile as ocean weeds.

Dessert was served as if by magic. A large epergne made of gilded bronze from Thomire’s studio loomed over the table. Tall figurines, crafted by a renowned artist who infused them with ideal beauty based on traditional European standards, held and displayed pyramids of strawberries, pineapples, fresh dates, golden grapes, clear-skinned peaches, oranges shipped in from Setubal, pomegranates, Chinese fruit; in short, all the luxuries, stunning confections, most tempting treats, and finest delicacies. The coloring of this gourmet masterpiece was enhanced by beautiful porcelain, glimmering gold outlines, and intricate designs on the vases. Poussin’s landscapes, reproduced on Sevres china, were adorned with elegant fringes of moss, vibrant, translucent, and delicate like ocean plants.

The revenue of a German prince would not have defrayed the cost of this arrogant display. Silver and mother-of-pearl, gold and crystal, were lavished afresh in new forms; but scarcely a vague idea of this almost Oriental fairyland penetrated eyes now heavy with wine, or crossed the delirium of intoxication. The fire and fragrance of the wines acted like potent philters and magical fumes, producing a kind of mirage in the brain, binding feet, and weighing down hands. The clamor increased. Words were no longer distinct, glasses flew in pieces, senseless peals of laughter broke out. Cursy snatched up a horn and struck up a flourish on it. It acted like a signal given by the devil. Yells, hisses, songs, cries, and groans went up from the maddened crew. You might have smiled to see men, light-hearted by nature, grow tragical as Crebillon’s dramas, and pensive as a sailor in a coach. Hard-headed men blabbed secrets to the inquisitive, who were long past heeding them. Saturnine faces were wreathed in smiles worthy of a pirouetting dancer. Claude Vignon shuffled about like a bear in a cage. Intimate friends began to fight.

The income of a German prince wouldn’t have covered the cost of this showy display. Silver and mother-of-pearl, gold and crystal, were generously used in new designs; but hardly any hint of this almost Eastern fairyland reached the eyes now heavy with wine, or broke through the haze of intoxication. The warmth and aroma of the wines worked like strong potions and magical vapors, creating a kind of illusion in the mind, weighing down feet and hands. The noise escalated. Words became indistinct, glasses shattered, and loud, meaningless laughter erupted. Cursy grabbed a horn and played a tune on it. It was like a signal from the devil. Shouts, hisses, songs, cries, and groans erupted from the frenzied crowd. You might have chuckled to see men, naturally light-hearted, become as tragic as Crebillon’s dramas and as thoughtful as a sailor in a carriage. Tough-minded men spilled secrets to the curious, who were well past caring. Serious faces lit up with smiles worthy of a dancing performer. Claude Vignon shuffled around like a bear in a cage. Close friends started to fight.

Animal likenesses, so curiously traced by physiologists in human faces, came out in gestures and behavior. A book lay open for a Bichat if he had repaired thither fasting and collected. The master of the house, knowing his condition, did not dare stir, but encouraged his guests’ extravangances with a fixed grimacing smile, meant to be hospitable and appropriate. His large face, turning from blue and red to a purple shade terrible to see, partook of the general commotion by movements like the heaving and pitching of a brig.

Animal features, so oddly noted by scientists in human faces, were evident in their gestures and behavior. A book would have been open for a Bichat if he had come there, eager and attentive. The host, aware of his state, didn’t dare move but supported his guests’ wild antics with a stiff, grinning smile that seemed both welcoming and fitting. His broad face, shifting from blue and red to a frightening shade of purple, mirrored the overall chaos with movements reminiscent of a ship swaying and rolling.

“Now, did you murder them?” Emile asked him.

“Did you kill them?” Emile asked him.

“Capital punishment is going to be abolished, they say, in favor of the Revolution of July,” answered Taillefer, raising his eyebrows with drunken sagacity.

“People say that capital punishment is going to be abolished in favor of the Revolution of July,” Taillefer replied, raising his eyebrows with tipsy wisdom.

“Don’t they rise up before you in dreams at times?” Raphael persisted.

“Don’t they come to you in dreams sometimes?” Raphael continued.

“There’s a statute of limitations,” said the murderer-Croesus.

“There's a statute of limitations,” said the killer-Croesus.

“And on his tombstone,” Emile began, with a sardonic laugh, “the stonemason will carve ‘Passer-by, accord a tear, in memory of one that’s here!’ Oh,” he continued, “I would cheerfully pay a hundred sous to any mathematician who would prove the existence of hell to me by an algebraical equation.”

“And on his tombstone,” Emile said with a sarcastic laugh, “the stonemason will carve ‘Passer-by, shed a tear, in memory of someone that’s here!’ Oh,” he continued, “I would gladly pay a hundred sous to any mathematician who could prove the existence of hell to me with an algebraic equation.”

He flung up a coin and cried:

He tossed a coin in the air and shouted:

“Heads for the existence of God!”

“Heads for the existence of God!”

“Don’t look!” Raphael cried, pouncing upon it. “Who knows? Suspense is so pleasant.”

“Don’t look!” Raphael shouted, jumping on it. “Who knows? The suspense is so nice.”

“Unluckily,” Emile said, with burlesque melancholy, “I can see no halting-place between the unbeliever’s arithmetic and the papal Pater noster. Pshaw! let us drink. Trinq was, I believe, the oracular answer of the dive bouteille and the final conclusion of Pantagruel.”

“Unfortunately,” Emile said, in a mock sad tone, “I see no stopping point between the skeptic’s math and the pope’s Pater noster. Nonsense! Let’s have a drink. Trinq was, I think, the wise response of the dive bouteille and the ultimate conclusion of Pantagruel.”

“We owe our arts and monuments to the Pater noster, and our knowledge, too, perhaps; and a still greater benefit—modern government—whereby a vast and teeming society is wondrously represented by some five hundred intellects. It neutralizes opposing forces and gives free play to Civilization, that Titan queen who has succeeded the ancient terrible figure of the King, that sham Providence, reared by man between himself and heaven. In the face of such achievements, atheism seems like a barren skeleton. What do you say?”

“We owe our arts and monuments to the Pater noster, and maybe our knowledge too; but even more importantly—modern government—through which a large and vibrant society is brilliantly represented by about five hundred minds. It balances opposing forces and allows Civilization, that mighty queen, to flourish, replacing the ancient, intimidating figure of the King, that false Providence created by man to stand between himself and heaven. Given such accomplishments, atheism feels like an empty shell. What do you think?”

“I am thinking of the seas of blood shed by Catholicism.” Emile replied, quite unimpressed. “It has drained our hearts and veins dry to make a mimic deluge. No matter! Every man who thinks must range himself beneath the banner of Christ, for He alone has consummated the triumph of spirit over matter; He alone has revealed to us, like a poet, an intermediate world that separates us from the Deity.”

“I’m thinking about the seas of blood spilled by Catholicism,” Emile replied, clearly unfazed. “It has drained our hearts and veins dry to create a false flood. Whatever! Every man who thinks must align himself with the banner of Christ, for He alone has completed the victory of spirit over matter; He alone has shown us, like a poet, a middle world that separates us from God.”

“Believest thou?” asked Raphael with an unaccountable drunken smile. “Very good; we must not commit ourselves; so we will drink the celebrated toast, Diis ignotis!”

“Do you believe?” asked Raphael with a strangely tipsy smile. “Alright; we shouldn’t get too involved; so let's raise a glass to the famous toast, Diis ignotis!”

And they drained the chalice filled up with science, carbonic acid gas, perfumes, poetry, and incredulity.

And they emptied the cup filled with science, carbon dioxide, fragrances, poetry, and disbelief.

“If the gentlemen will go to the drawing-room, coffee is ready for them,” said the major-domo.

“If the gentlemen will head to the drawing room, coffee is ready for them,” said the major-domo.

There was scarcely one of those present whose mind was not floundering by this time in the delights of chaos, where every spark of intelligence is quenched, and the body, set free from its tyranny, gives itself up to the frenetic joys of liberty. Some who had arrived at the apogee of intoxication were dejected, as they painfully tried to arrest a single thought which might assure them of their own existence; others, deep in the heavy morasses of indigestion, denied the possibility of movement. The noisy and the silent were oddly assorted.

There was hardly anyone there whose mind wasn’t struggling in the chaos, where every bit of clarity is drowned out, and the body, freed from its constraints, gives in to the wild pleasures of freedom. Some who had reached the peak of intoxication felt disheartened as they tried painfully to grab hold of a single thought that would confirm their existence; others, stuck in the thick fog of indigestion, felt like they couldn’t move at all. The loud and the quiet were a strange mix.

For all that, when new joys were announced to them by the stentorian tones of the servant, who spoke on his master’s behalf, they all rose, leaning upon, dragging or carrying one another. But on the threshold of the room the entire crew paused for a moment, motionless, as if fascinated. The intemperate pleasures of the banquet seemed to fade away at this titillating spectacle, prepared by their amphitryon to appeal to the most sensual of their instincts.

For all that, when the servant announced new joys in a loud voice on his master’s behalf, everyone got up, leaning on, dragging, or helping one another. But on the threshold of the room, the whole group paused for a moment, frozen as if mesmerized. The wild pleasures of the feast seemed to fade away at this enticing sight, set up by their host to appeal to their deepest desires.

Beneath the shining wax-lights in a golden chandelier, round about a table inlaid with gilded metal, a group of women, whose eyes shone like diamonds, suddenly met the stupefied stare of the revelers. Their toilettes were splendid, but less magnificent than their beauty, which eclipsed the other marvels of this palace. A light shone from their eyes, bewitching as those of sirens, more brilliant and ardent than the blaze that streamed down upon the snowy marble, the delicately carved surfaces of bronze, and lit up the satin sheen of the tapestry. The contrasts of their attitudes and the slight movements of their heads, each differing in character and nature of attraction, set the heart afire. It was like a thicket, where blossoms mingled with rubies, sapphires, and coral; a combination of gossamer scarves that flickered like beacon-lights; of black ribbons about snowy throats; of gorgeous turbans and demurely enticing apparel. It was a seraglio that appealed to every eye, and fulfilled every fancy. Each form posed to admiration was scarcely concealed by the folds of cashmere, and half hidden, half revealed by transparent gauze and diaphanous silk. The little slender feet were eloquent, though the fresh red lips uttered no sound.

Under the shining lights of a golden chandelier, around a table inlaid with gilded metal, a group of women, whose eyes sparkled like diamonds, suddenly caught the stunned gaze of the partygoers. Their outfits were stunning, but they paled in comparison to their beauty, which outshone the other wonders of this palace. A light radiated from their eyes, enchanting like that of sirens, more vibrant and intense than the glow streaming down onto the snowy marble, the delicately carved bronze surfaces, and illuminating the satin sheen of the tapestries. The different poses and subtle movements of their heads, each unique in charm and allure, ignited passion in the heart. It resembled a thicket where blossoms mixed with rubies, sapphires, and coral; a blend of delicate scarves that flickered like guiding lights; black ribbons around snowy necks; beautiful turbans and modestly alluring outfits. It was a harem that captivated every eye and satisfied every desire. Each figure posed for admiration was barely hidden by the folds of cashmere, half concealed and half revealed by sheer gauze and light silk. Their little slender feet spoke volumes, even though their fresh red lips said nothing.

Demure and fragile-looking girls, pictures of maidenly innocence, with a semblance of conventional unction about their heads, were there like apparitions that a breath might dissipate. Aristocratic beauties with haughty glances, languid, flexible, slender, and complaisant, bent their heads as though there were royal protectors still in the market. An English-woman seemed like a spirit of melancholy—some coy, pale, shadowy form among Ossian’s mists, or a type of remorse flying from crime. The Parisienne was not wanting in all her beauty that consists in an indescribable charm; armed with her irresistible weakness, vain of her costume and her wit, pliant and hard, a heartless, passionless siren that yet can create factitious treasures of passion and counterfeit emotion.

Demure and delicate-looking girls, exuding maidenly innocence, with an air of conventional grace about their heads, were there like ghostly figures that a breath could disperse. Aristocratic beauties with proud glances, languid, flexible, slender, and accommodating, lowered their heads as if royal protectors were still around. An English woman resembled a spirit of sadness—some coy, pale, shadowy figure among Ossian’s mists, or a symbol of remorse fleeing from guilt. The Parisienne was not lacking in the beauty that comes from an indescribable charm; equipped with her irresistible fragility, proud of her outfit and her sharp wit, adaptable yet unfeeling, a heartless, passionless siren who can nonetheless conjure false treasures of passion and fake emotion.

Italians shone in the throng, serene and self-possessed in their bliss; handsome Normans, with splendid figures; women of the south, with black hair and well-shaped eyes. Lebel might have summoned together all the fair women of Versailles, who since morning had perfected all their wiles, and now came like a troupe of Oriental women, bidden by the slave merchant to be ready to set out at dawn. They stood disconcerted and confused about the table, huddled together in a murmuring group like bees in a hive. The combination of timid embarrassment with coquettishness and a sort of expostulation was the result either of calculated effect or a spontaneous modesty. Perhaps a sentiment of which women are never utterly divested prescribed to them the cloak of modesty to heighten and enhance the charms of wantonness. So the venerable Taillefer’s designs seemed on the point of collapse, for these unbridled natures were subdued from the very first by the majesty with which woman is invested. There was a murmur of admiration, which vibrated like a soft musical note. Wine had not taken love for traveling companion; instead of a violent tumult of passions, the guests thus taken by surprise, in a moment of weakness, gave themselves up to luxurious raptures of delight.

Italians stood out in the crowd, calm and collected in their happiness; striking Normans with impressive physiques; southern women with dark hair and beautiful eyes. Lebel could have gathered all the beautiful women of Versailles, who had spent the morning perfecting their charms, and now appeared like a group of Eastern women, called by the slave trader to be ready to leave at dawn. They looked unsure and confused around the table, huddled together in a whispering group like bees in a hive. The mix of shy awkwardness with flirtatiousness and a kind of protest seemed like either a deliberate act or genuine modesty. Perhaps a feeling that women can never fully shake off urged them to cloak their modesty to enhance their allure. So, the plans of the venerable Taillefer appeared to be on the verge of falling apart, as these uninhibited spirits were subdued right from the start by the grandeur associated with women. There was a low murmur of admiration that resonated like a gentle musical note. Wine had not taken love as its companion; instead of a violent surge of emotions, the guests, caught off guard in a moment of vulnerability, surrendered themselves to indulgent delight.

Artists obeyed the voice of poetry which constrains them, and studied with pleasure the different delicate tints of these chosen examples of beauty. Sobered by a thought perhaps due to some emanation from a bubble of carbonic acid in the champagne, a philosopher shuddered at the misfortunes which had brought these women, once perhaps worthy of the truest devotion, to this. Each one doubtless could have unfolded a cruel tragedy. Infernal tortures followed in the train of most of them, and they drew after them faithless men, broken vows, and pleasures atoned for in wretchedness. Polite advances were made by the guests, and conversations began, as varied in character as the speakers. They broke up into groups. It might have been a fashionable drawing-room where ladies and young girls offer after dinner the assistance that coffee, liqueurs, and sugar afford to diners who are struggling in the toils of a perverse digestion. But in a little while laughter broke out, the murmur grew, and voices were raised. The saturnalia, subdued for a moment, threatened at times to renew itself. The alternations of sound and silence bore a distant resemblance to a symphony of Beethoven’s.

Artists listened to the call of poetry that guides them, and took pleasure in studying the various subtle shades of these selected examples of beauty. Reflecting on a thought that might have been inspired by a bubble of carbon dioxide in the champagne, a philosopher felt a shiver at the misfortunes that had led these women, who were once perhaps deserving of true devotion, to this state. Each one could surely share a heartbreaking story. Most of them had endured terrible suffering, dragging along unfaithful men, broken promises, and pleasures that resulted in their misery. The guests exchanged polite greetings, and conversations began, as diverse as the people involved. They split into groups. It could have been a trendy parlor where women and young girls provide after-dinner comforts like coffee, liqueurs, and sugar to those struggling with a troubled digestion. But soon laughter erupted, the murmurs increased, and voices grew louder. The revelry, quieted for a moment, threatened to erupt again. The shifts between sound and silence faintly resembled a symphony by Beethoven.

The two friends, seated on a silken divan, were first approached by a tall, well-proportioned girl of stately bearing; her features were irregular, but her face was striking and vehement in expression, and impressed the mind by the vigor of its contrasts. Her dark hair fell in luxuriant curls, with which some hand seemed to have played havoc already, for the locks fell lightly over the splendid shoulders that thus attracted attention. The long brown curls half hid her queenly throat, though where the light fell upon it, the delicacy of its fine outlines was revealed. Her warm and vivid coloring was set off by the dead white of her complexion. Bold and ardent glances came from under the long eyelashes; the damp, red, half-open lips challenged a kiss. Her frame was strong but compliant; with a bust and arms strongly developed, as in figures drawn by the Caracci, she yet seemed active and elastic, with a panther’s strength and suppleness, and in the same way the energetic grace of her figure suggested fierce pleasures.

The two friends were sitting on a plush couch when a tall, well-built girl with a commanding presence approached them. Her features were unconventional, but her face was captivating and intense, leaving a lasting impression due to its striking contrasts. Her dark hair fell in luxurious curls that looked like they had been tousled by some playful hand, cascading lightly over her stunning shoulders which drew attention. The long brown curls partially obscured her regal neck, but the light revealed the delicate contours of her skin. Her warm and vibrant coloring was highlighted against her pale complexion. Bold and passionate glances came from beneath her long eyelashes; her damp, red, slightly parted lips seemed to invite a kiss. She had a strong yet flexible body; with a well-developed bust and arms reminiscent of figures drawn by the Caracci, she appeared both active and graceful, possessing a panther-like strength and agility, while the dynamic elegance of her figure hinted at wild pleasures.

But though she might romp perhaps and laugh, there was something terrible in her eyes and her smile. Like a pythoness possessed by the demon, she inspired awe rather than pleasure. All changes, one after another, flashed like lightning over every mobile feature of her face. She might captivate a jaded fancy, but a young man would have feared her. She was like some colossal statue fallen from the height of a Greek temple, so grand when seen afar, too roughly hewn to be seen anear. And yet, in spite of all, her terrible beauty could have stimulated exhaustion; her voice might charm the deaf; her glances might put life into the bones of the dead; and therefore Emile was vaguely reminded of one of Shakespeare’s tragedies—a wonderful maze, in which joy groans, and there is something wild even about love, and the magic of forgiveness and the warmth of happiness succeed to cruel storms of rage. She was a siren that can both kiss and devour; laugh like a devil, or weep as angels can. She could concentrate in one instant all a woman’s powers of attraction in a single effort (the sighs of melancholy and the charms of maiden’s shyness alone excepted), then in a moment rise in fury like a nation in revolt, and tear herself, her passion, and her lover, in pieces.

But even though she might play around and laugh, there was something terrifying in her eyes and her smile. Like a medium possessed by a spirit, she inspired awe instead of pleasure. All the changes, one after another, flashed like lightning across every expressive feature of her face. She could attract a tired imagination, but a young man would have been afraid of her. She resembled a giant statue that had fallen from the height of a Greek temple, looking grand from a distance but too roughly carved up close. Yet, despite everything, her frightening beauty could drain you of energy; her voice could enchant the deaf; her glances could bring life to the dead; and so, Emile was vaguely reminded of one of Shakespeare's tragedies—a brilliant maze where joy is accompanied by groans, and love has a wild edge, while forgiveness and happiness follow fierce storms of anger. She was a siren who could both kiss and consume; laugh like a devil or weep like an angel. She could focus all a woman's powers of attraction into a single moment (except for the sighs of sadness and the allure of a maiden's shyness), and then in an instant, erupt in fury like a nation in revolt, tearing herself, her passion, and her lover to pieces.

Dressed in red velvet, she trampled under her reckless feet the stray flowers fallen from other heads, and held out a salver to the two friends, with careless hands. The white arms stood out in bold relief against the velvet. Proud of her beauty; proud (who knows?) of her corruption, she stood like a queen of pleasure, like an incarnation of enjoyment; the enjoyment that comes of squandering the accumulations of three generations; that scoffs at its progenitors, and makes merry over a corpse; that will dissolve pearls and wreck thrones, turn old men into boys, and make young men prematurely old; enjoyment only possible to giants weary of their power, tormented by reflection, or for whom strife has become a plaything.

Dressed in red velvet, she stomped carelessly on the stray flowers that had fallen from other people's heads and held out a tray to the two friends with indifferent hands. Her white arms stood out sharply against the velvet. Proud of her beauty and perhaps even of her corruption, she stood like a queen of pleasure, like a personification of indulgence; the kind of enjoyment that comes from wasting the wealth of three generations, that mocks its ancestors and revels over a corpse; that can dissolve pearls and topple thrones, turn old men back into boys, and age young men prematurely; enjoyment that’s only available to giants tired of their power, troubled by introspection, or for whom conflict has become a game.

“What is your name?” asked Raphael.

"What's your name?" asked Raphael.

“Aquilina.”

"Aquilina."

“Out of Venice Preserved!” exclaimed Emile.

“Out of Venice Preserved!” Emile exclaimed.

“Yes,” she answered. “Just as a pope takes a new name when he is exalted above all other men, I, too, took another name when I raised myself above women’s level.”

“Yes,” she answered. “Just like a pope gets a new name when he rises above all other men, I also took on a different name when I elevated myself above women.”

“Then have you, like your patron saint, a terrible and noble lover, a conspirator, who would die for you?” cried Emile eagerly—this gleam of poetry had aroused his interest.

“Then do you, like your patron saint, have a tragic and noble lover, a conspirator who would die for you?” Emile exclaimed eagerly—this touch of poetry had sparked his interest.

“Once I had,” she answered. “But I had a rival too in La Guillotine. I have worn something red about me ever since, lest any happiness should carry me away.”

"Once I did," she replied. "But I also had a rival in La Guillotine. I've worn something red ever since, to make sure that any happiness doesn't take me by surprise."

“Oh, if you are going to get her on to the story of those four lads of La Rochelle, she will never get to the end of it. That’s enough, Aquilina. As if every woman could not bewail some lover or other, though not every one has the luck to lose him on the scaffold, as you have done. I would a great deal sooner see a lover of mine in a trench at the back of Clamart than in a rival’s arms.”

“Oh, if you’re going to bring up the story of those four guys from La Rochelle, she’ll go on forever. That’s enough, Aquilina. It’s like every woman has someone to mourn over, even if not everyone has the unfortunate luck to lose him on the scaffold, like you did. I’d much rather see a lover of mine in a trench at the back of Clamart than in someone else’s arms.”

All this in the gentlest and most melodious accents, and pronounced by the prettiest, gentlest, and most innocent-looking little person that a fairy wand ever drew from an enchanted eggshell. She had come up noiselessly, and they became aware of a slender, dainty figure, charmingly timid blue eyes, and white transparent brows. No ingenue among the naiads, a truant from her river spring, could have been shyer, whiter, more ingenuous than this young girl, seemingly about sixteen years old, ignorant of evil and of the storms of life, and fresh from some church in which she must have prayed the angels to call her to heaven before the time. Only in Paris are such natures as this to be found, concealing depths of depravity behind a fair mask, and the most artificial vices beneath a brow as young and fair as an opening flower.

All this was said in the softest and most melodic tones, delivered by the cutest, sweetest, and most innocent-looking little person that a fairy wand ever pulled from an enchanted eggshell. She had approached silently, and they noticed a slender, delicate figure with charmingly timid blue eyes and delicate white brows. No innocent among the naiads, a runaway from her river spring, could have been shyer, whiter, or more naive than this young girl, who looked about sixteen, unaware of evil and the storms of life, and fresh from some church where she must have prayed for the angels to take her to heaven before her time. Only in Paris can you find natures like this, hiding depths of depravity behind a beautiful facade and the most artificial vices beneath a brow as young and fair as a blooming flower.

At first the angelic promise of those soft lineaments misled the friends. Raphael and Emile took the coffee which she poured into the cups brought by Aquilina, and began to talk with her. In the eyes of the two poets she soon became transformed into some sombre allegory, of I know not what aspect of human life. She opposed to the vigorous and ardent expression of her commanding acquaintance a revelation of heartless corruption and voluptuous cruelty. Heedless enough to perpetrate a crime, hardy enough to feel no misgivings; a pitiless demon that wrings larger and kinder natures with torments that it is incapable of knowing, that simpers over a traffic in love, sheds tears over a victim’s funeral, and beams with joy over the reading of the will. A poet might have admired the magnificent Aquilina; but the winning Euphrasia must be repulsive to every one—the first was the soul of sin; the second, sin without a soul in it.

At first, the angelic promise of her soft features misled the friends. Raphael and Emile took the coffee she poured into the cups brought by Aquilina and began to chat with her. In the eyes of the two poets, she soon transformed into some dark allegory, representing some unknown aspect of human life. She contrasted her strong and passionate demeanor with a display of heartless corruption and indulgent cruelty. Reckless enough to commit a crime, bold enough to feel no guilt; a ruthless demon that torments larger and kinder natures without realizing it, that grins over a trade in love, cries at a victim’s funeral, and beams with joy when reading a will. A poet might admire the magnificent Aquilina, but the charming Euphrasia must be repulsive to everyone—the first was the essence of sin; the second, sin without any essence.

“I should dearly like to know,” Emile remarked to this pleasing being, “if you ever reflect upon your future?”

“I would really love to know,” Emile said to this charming person, “if you ever think about your future?”

“My future!” she answered with a laugh. “What do you mean by my future? Why should I think about something that does not exist as yet? I never look before or behind. Isn’t one day at a time more than I can concern myself with as it is? And besides, the future, as we know, means the hospital.”

“My future!” she replied with a laugh. “What do you mean by my future? Why should I worry about something that hasn’t happened yet? I never look back or ahead. Isn’t one day at a time more than enough for me to handle? And anyway, we all know that the future means the hospital.”

“How can you forsee a future in the hospital, and make no effort to avert it?”

“How can you see a future in the hospital and not try to prevent it?”

“What is there so alarming about the hospital?” asked the terrific Aquilina. “When we are neither wives nor mothers, when old age draws black stockings over our limbs, sets wrinkles on our brows, withers up the woman in us, and darkens the light in our lover’s eyes, what could we need when that comes to pass? You would look on us then as mere human clay; we with our habiliments shall be for you like so much mud—worthless, lifeless, crumbling to pieces, going about with the rustle of dead leaves. Rags or the daintiest finery will be as one to us then; the ambergris of the boudoir will breathe an odor of death and dry bones; and suppose there is a heart there in that mud, not one of you but would make mock of it, not so much as a memory will you spare to us. Is not our existence precisely the same whether we live in a fine mansion with lap-dogs to tend, or sort rags in a workhouse? Does it make much difference whether we shall hide our gray heads beneath lace or a handkerchief striped with blue and red; whether we sweep a crossing with a birch broom, or the steps of the Tuileries with satins; whether we sit beside a gilded hearth, or cower over the ashes in a red earthen pot; whether we go to the Opera or look on in the Place de Greve?”

“What’s so scary about the hospital?” asked the amazing Aquilina. “When we’re neither wives nor mothers, when old age pulls black stockings over our legs, puts wrinkles on our faces, withers the woman in us, and dims the light in our lover’s eyes, what could we possibly need when that happens? You would see us then as just human clay; us in our clothes would be like mud to you—worthless, lifeless, crumbling away, moving with the rustle of dead leaves. Rags or the fanciest clothes would be the same to us then; the perfume of the boudoir would smell of death and dry bones; and if there’s a heart in that mud, none of you would spare a thought for it, not even a memory. Isn’t our existence the same whether we live in a fancy mansion with lapdogs or sort rags in a workhouse? Does it really matter if we cover our gray hair with lace or with a blue and red striped handkerchief; if we sweep a street with a birch broom or the steps of the Tuileries with satin; if we sit by a gilded fireplace, or huddle over ashes in a clay pot; if we go to the opera or watch from the Place de Greve?”

Aquilina mia, you have never shown more sense than in this depressing fit of yours,” Euphrasia remarked. “Yes, cashmere, point d’Alencon, perfumes, gold, silks, luxury, everything that sparkles, everything pleasant, belongs to youth alone. Time alone may show us our folly, but good fortune will acquit us. You are laughing at me,” she went on, with a malicious glance at the friends; “but am I not right? I would sooner die of pleasure than of illness. I am not afflicted with a mania for perpetuity, nor have I a great veneration for human nature, such as God has made it. Give me millions, and I would squander them; I should not keep one centime for the year to come. Live to be charming and have power, that is the decree of my every heartbeat. Society sanctions my life; does it not pay for my extravagances? Why does Providence pay me every morning my income, which I spend every evening? Why are hospitals built for us? And Providence did not put good and evil on either hand for us to select what tires and pains us. I should be very foolish if I did not amuse myself.”

Aquilina, you’ve never been more sensible than in this downer phase you’re going through,” Euphrasia said. “Yeah, cashmere, point d’Alencon, perfumes, gold, silks, luxury, everything that shines, everything enjoyable, is meant for youth alone. Only time can show us our mistakes, but good fortune will forgive us. You’re laughing at me,” she continued, casting a wicked look at her friends; “but am I wrong? I’d rather die from pleasure than from sickness. I don’t have a compulsion for permanence, nor do I hold a deep respect for human nature as God made it. Give me millions, and I’d blow them; I wouldn’t save a single cent for the next year. Living to be charming and powerful is the law of my every heartbeat. Society supports my way of life; doesn’t it fund my extravagances? Why does Providence give me my income every morning, which I spend every evening? Why are hospitals built for us? And Providence didn’t place good and evil on either side for us to choose what tires and pains us. I’d be very foolish not to have fun.”

“And how about others?” asked Emile.

“And what about other people?” Emile asked.

“Others? Oh, well, they must manage for themselves. I prefer laughing at their woes to weeping over my own. I defy any man to give me the slightest uneasiness.”

“Others? Oh, they can take care of themselves. I’d rather laugh at their problems than cry over my own. I challenge anyone to make me feel even a bit uneasy.”

“What have you suffered to make you think like this?” asked Raphael.

“What have you been through to make you think like this?” asked Raphael.

“I myself have been forsaken for an inheritance,” she said, striking an attitude that displayed all her charms; “and yet I had worked night and day to keep my lover! I am not to be gulled by any smile or vow, and I have set myself to make one long entertainment of my life.”

“I’ve been abandoned for an inheritance,” she said, striking a pose that showcased all her charms. “And yet, I’ve worked day and night to keep my lover! I won’t be fooled by any smile or promise, and I’ve decided to make my life one long party.”

“But does not happiness come from the soul within?” cried Raphael.

“But doesn’t happiness come from the soul inside?” cried Raphael.

“It may be so,” Aquilina answered; “but is it nothing to be conscious of admiration and flattery; to triumph over other women, even over the most virtuous, humiliating them before our beauty and our splendor? Not only so; one day of our life is worth ten years of a bourgeoise existence, and so it is all summed up.”

“It might be true,” Aquilina replied; “but isn’t it significant to feel admiration and flattery; to outshine other women, even the most virtuous, making them feel inferior next to our beauty and our radiance? Not only that; one day of our lives is worth ten years of a mundane existence, and that’s really what it comes down to.”

“Is not a woman hateful without virtue?” Emile said to Raphael.

“Isn't a woman unlikable without virtue?” Emile asked Raphael.

Euphrasia’s glance was like a viper’s, as she said, with an irony in her voice that cannot be rendered:

Euphrasia’s look was sharp, like a viper’s, as she spoke with a tone of irony that can't be captured.

“Virtue! we leave that to deformity and to ugly women. What would the poor things be without it?”

“Virtue! We leave that to ugly people and unattractive women. What would they have without it?”

“Hush, be quiet,” Emile broke in. “Don’t talk about something you have never known.”

“Hush, be quiet,” Emile interrupted. “Don’t talk about things you’ve never experienced.”

“That I have never known!” Euphrasia answered. “You give yourself for life to some person you abominate; you must bring up children who will neglect you, who wound your very heart, and you must say, ‘Thank you!’ for it; and these are the virtues you prescribe to woman. And that is not enough. By way of requiting her self-denial, you must come and add to her sorrows by trying to lead her astray; and though you are rebuffed, she is compromised. A nice life! How far better to keep one’s freedom, to follow one’s inclinations in love, and die young!”

“That I have never known!” Euphrasia replied. “You give your life to someone you can't stand; you have to raise kids who will ignore you, who hurt your heart, and you have to say, ‘Thank you!’ for it; and these are the values you expect from women. And that’s not enough. On top of her sacrifices, you come and add to her pain by trying to tempt her; and even if she rejects you, she’s still left in a difficult position. What a life! How much better to keep your freedom, follow your feelings in love, and die young!”

“Have you no fear of the price to be paid some day for all this?”

“Don’t you worry about the cost you’ll have to face someday for all of this?”

“Even then,” she said, “instead of mingling pleasures and troubles, my life will consist of two separate parts—a youth of happiness is secure, and there may come a hazy, uncertain old age, during which I can suffer at my leisure.”

“Even then,” she said, “instead of mixing pleasures and troubles, my life will have two distinct parts—a happy youth is guaranteed, and there might be a vague, uncertain old age, during which I can suffer at my own pace.”

“She has never loved,” came in the deep tones of Aquilina’s voice. “She never went a hundred leagues to drink in one look and a denial with untold raptures. She has not hung her own life on a thread, nor tried to stab more than one man to save her sovereign lord, her king, her divinity.... Love, for her, meant a fascinating colonel.”

“She has never loved,” came the deep tones of Aquilina’s voice. “She never traveled a hundred leagues to capture just one glance and a refusal filled with unspoken ecstasy. She hasn’t risked her own life on a thread, nor tried to kill more than one man to save her sovereign lord, her king, her divinity.... Love, for her, was just an intriguing colonel.”

“Here she is with her La Rochelle,” Euphrasia made answer. “Love comes like the wind, no one knows whence. And, for that matter, if one of those brutes had once fallen in love with you, you would hold sensible men in horror.”

“Here she is with her La Rochelle,” Euphrasia replied. “Love comes like the wind, no one knows where it comes from. And honestly, if one of those brutes had ever fallen in love with you, you would look down on sensible men.”

“Brutes are put out of the question by the Code,” said the tall, sarcastic Aquilina.

“Brutes are eliminated by the Code,” said the tall, sarcastic Aquilina.

“I thought you had more kindness for the army,” laughed Euphrasia.

“I thought you were more supportive of the army,” laughed Euphrasia.

“How happy they are in their power of dethroning their reason in this way,” Raphael exclaimed.

“How happy they are to be able to disregard their reason like this,” Raphael exclaimed.

“Happy?” asked Aquilina, with dreadful look, and a smile full of pity and terror. “Ah, you do not know what it is to be condemned to a life of pleasure, with your dead hidden in your heart....”

“Happy?” asked Aquilina, with a terrible expression, and a smile full of sympathy and fear. “Ah, you don’t know what it’s like to be trapped in a life of pleasure, with your loved ones buried deep in your heart....”

A moment’s consideration of the rooms was like a foretaste of Milton’s Pandemonium. The faces of those still capable of drinking wore a hideous blue tint, from burning draughts of punch. Mad dances were kept up with wild energy; excited laughter and outcries broke out like the explosion of fireworks. The boudoir and a small adjoining room were strewn like a battlefield with the insensible and incapable. Wine, pleasure, and dispute had heated the atmosphere. Wine and love, delirium and unconsciousness possessed them, and were written upon all faces, upon the furniture; were expressed by the surrounding disorder, and brought light films over the vision of those assembled, so that the air seemed full of intoxicating vapor. A glittering dust arose, as in the luminous paths made by a ray of sunlight, the most bizarre forms flitted through it, grotesque struggles were seen athwart it. Groups of interlaced figures blended with the white marbles, the noble masterpieces of sculpture that adorned the rooms.

Considering the rooms for a moment felt like a preview of Milton’s Pandemonium. The faces of those still able to drink had a sickly blue hue from heavy doses of punch. Wild dances were happening with frantic energy; excited laughter and shouts erupted like fireworks. The boudoir and a small adjoining room were scattered like a battlefield with people who were passed out or incapacitated. Wine, pleasure, and arguments had heated the atmosphere. Wine and love, delirium and unconsciousness overtook them, evident on every face, on the furniture; expressed through the surrounding chaos, creating a haze over the vision of those present, making the air feel filled with intoxicating vapor. A sparkling dust rose, as if caught in a beam of sunlight, with bizarre shapes flitting through it and grotesque struggles visible within. Groups of intertwined figures blended with the white marble, the exquisite masterpieces of sculpture that decorated the rooms.

Though the two friends yet preserved a sort of fallacious clearness in their ideas and voices, a feeble appearance and faint thrill of animation, it was yet almost impossible to distinguish what was real among the fantastic absurdities before them, or what foundation there was for the impossible pictures that passed unceasingly before their weary eyes. The strangest phenomena of dreams beset them, the lowering heavens, the fervid sweetness caught by faces in our visions, and unheard-of agility under a load of chains,—all these so vividly, that they took the pranks of the orgy about them for the freaks of some nightmare in which all movement is silent, and cries never reach the ear. The valet de chambre succeeded just then, after some little difficulty, in drawing his master into the ante-chamber to whisper to him:

Though the two friends still maintained a sort of misleading clarity in their thoughts and voices, they had a weak appearance and a faint spark of energy. It was nearly impossible to tell what was real among the bizarre absurdities around them or what basis there was for the impossible images that continuously flashed before their tired eyes. The strangest phenomena of dreams surrounded them—the darkening skies, the intense sweetness captured in faces during our visions, and extraordinary agility while burdened with chains—all of these were so vividly present that they mistook the wild antics of the party around them for the oddities of a nightmare where all movement is silent and screams never reach the ear. The valet de chambre just then managed, after a bit of difficulty, to pull his master into the anteroom to whisper to him:

“The neighbors are all at their windows, complaining of the racket, sir.”

“The neighbors are all at their windows, complaining about the noise, sir.”

“If noise alarms them, why don’t they lay down straw before their doors?” was Taillefer’s rejoinder.

“If noise scares them, why don’t they put down straw in front of their doors?” was Taillefer’s reply.

Raphael’s sudden burst of laughter was so unseasonable and abrupt, that his friend demanded the reason of his unseemly hilarity.

Raphael's sudden burst of laughter was so unexpected and abrupt that his friend questioned the cause of his inappropriate amusement.

“You will hardly understand me,” he replied. “In the first place, I must admit that you stopped me on the Quai Voltaire just as I was about to throw myself into the Seine, and you would like to know, no doubt, my motives for dying. And when I proceed to tell you that by an almost miraculous chance the most poetic memorials of the material world had but just then been summed up for me as a symbolical interpretation of human wisdom; whilst at this minute the remains of all the intellectual treasures ravaged by us at table are comprised in these two women, the living and authentic types of folly, would you be any the wiser? Our profound apathy towards men and things supplied the half-tones in a crudely contrasted picture of two theories of life so diametrically opposed. If you were not drunk, you might perhaps catch a gleam of philosophy in this.”

“You probably won’t understand me,” he said. “First of all, I need to admit that you stopped me on the Quai Voltaire just as I was about to jump into the Seine, and I guess you want to know my reasons for wanting to die. And when I explain that, by some almost miraculous chance, the most poetic representations of the material world had just come together for me as a symbolic interpretation of human wisdom; while at this moment, the remnants of all the intellectual treasures we’ve enjoyed at the table are embodied in these two women, the living and real examples of foolishness, would you really get it? Our deep indifference towards people and things provided the subtle shades in a starkly contrasting picture of two life theories that are completely opposed. If you weren’t drunk, you might even catch a glimpse of some philosophy in this.”

“And if you had not both feet on that fascinating Aquilina, whose heavy breathing suggests an analogy with the sounds of a storm about to burst,” replied Emile, absently engaged in the harmless amusement of winding and unwinding Euphrasia’s hair, “you would be ashamed of your inebriated garrulity. Both your systems can be packed in a phrase, and reduced to a single idea. The mere routine of living brings a stupid kind of wisdom with it, by blunting our intelligence with work; and on the other hand, a life passed in the limbo of the abstract or in the abysses of the moral world, produces a sort of wisdom run mad. The conditions may be summed up in brief; we may extinguish emotion, and so live to old age, or we may choose to die young as martyrs to contending passions. And yet this decree is at variance with the temperaments with which we were endowed by the bitter jester who modeled all creatures.”

“And if you weren’t completely focused on that intriguing Aquilina, whose heavy breathing sounds like a storm about to break,” replied Emile, casually twisting and untwisting Euphrasia’s hair, “you’d be embarrassed by your drunken rambling. Both your perspectives can be summed up in one phrase and reduced to a single idea. Just going through the motions of life brings a dull kind of wisdom by numbing our intelligence with work; on the other hand, a life spent in the realm of the abstract or in the depths of moral dilemmas leads to a kind of crazy wisdom. The options can be summed up simply; we can suppress our emotions and live to an old age, or we can choose to die young as martyrs to our conflicting passions. And still, this choice clashes with the temperaments we were given by the bitter jokester who created all beings.”

“Idiot!” Raphael burst in. “Go on epitomizing yourself after that fashion, and you will fill volumes. If I attempted to formulate those two ideas clearly, I might as well say that man is corrupted by the exercise of his wits, and purified by ignorance. You are calling the whole fabric of society to account. But whether we live with the wise or perish with the fool, isn’t the result the same sooner or later? And have not the prime constituents of the quintessence of both systems been before expressed in a couple of words—Carymary, Carymara.”

“Idiot!” Raphael burst in. “Keep acting like that, and you’ll write a whole library’s worth. If I tried to express those two ideas clearly, I might as well say that people are corrupted by using their intelligence and purified by ignorance. You’re holding the entire structure of society accountable. But whether we live with the wise or die with the fool, doesn’t the outcome end up being the same sooner or later? And haven’t the main elements of both systems already been summed up in just a couple of words—Carymary, Carymara?”

“You make me doubt the existence of a God, for your stupidity is greater than His power,” said Emile. “Our beloved Rabelais summed it all up in a shorter word than your ‘Carymary, Carymara’; from his Peut-etre Montaigne derived his own Que sais-je? After all, this last word of moral science is scarcely more than the cry of Pyrrhus set betwixt good and evil, or Buridan’s ass between the two measures of oats. But let this everlasting question alone, resolved to-day by a ‘Yes’ and a ‘No.’ What experience did you look to find by a jump into the Seine? Were you jealous of the hydraulic machine on the Pont Notre Dame?”

“You make me question the existence of God because your stupidity is greater than His power,” Emile said. “Our beloved Rabelais expressed it all in a shorter word than your ‘Carymary, Carymara’; from his Peut-etre, Montaigne came up with his own Que sais-je? After all, this final word of moral science is hardly more than the cry of Pyrrhus caught between good and evil, or Buridan’s ass stuck between two piles of oats. But let’s leave that never-ending question alone, answered today with a ‘Yes’ and a ‘No.’ What experience were you hoping to gain by jumping into the Seine? Were you jealous of the hydraulic machine on the Pont Notre Dame?”

“Ah, if you but knew my history!”

“Ah, if you only knew my story!”

“Pooh,” said Emile; “I did not think you could be so commonplace; that remark is hackneyed. Don’t you know that every one of us claims to have suffered as no other ever did?”

“Pooh,” Emile said, “I didn’t think you could be so ordinary; that comment is cliché. Don’t you realize that each of us claims to have suffered like no one else ever has?”

“Ah!” Raphael sighed.

“Ah!” Raphael sighed.

“What a mountebank art thou with thy ‘Ah’! Look here, now. Does some disease of the mind or body, by contracting your muscles, bring back of a morning the wild horses that tear you in pieces at night, as with Damiens once upon a time? Were you driven to sup off your own dog in a garret, uncooked and without salt? Have your children ever cried, ‘I am hungry’? Have you sold your mistress’ hair to hazard the money at play? Have you ever drawn a sham bill of exchange on a fictitious uncle at a sham address, and feared lest you should not be in time to take it up? Come now, I am attending! If you were going to drown yourself for some woman, or by way of a protest, or out of sheer dulness, I disown you. Make your confession, and no lies! I don’t at all want a historical memoir. And, above all things, be as concise as your clouded intellect permits; I am as critical as a professor, and as sleepy as a woman at her vespers.”

“What a phony you are with your ‘Ah’! Look here. Is there some illness of the mind or body that makes you tense up and brings back the wild horses that tear you apart at night, like with Damiens way back when? Were you forced to eat your own dog in a small room, raw and without seasoning? Have your kids ever cried, ‘I’m hungry’? Have you sold your lover’s hair to gamble? Have you ever created a fake bill of exchange from an imaginary uncle at a fake address, worried that you wouldn’t make it in time to cash it? Come on, I’m listening! If you were planning to drown yourself over some woman, as a protest, or just out of boredom, I disown you. Confess, and no lies! I don’t need a detailed memoir. And above all, be as brief as your confused mind allows; I’m as critical as a professor and as sleepy as a woman at evening prayers.”

“You silly fool!” said Raphael. “When has not suffering been keener for a more susceptible nature? Some day when science has attained to a pitch that enables us to study the natural history of hearts, when they are named and classified in genera, sub-genera, and families; into crustaceae, fossils, saurians, infusoria, or whatever it is,—then, my dear fellow, it will be ascertained that there are natures as tender and fragile as flowers, that are broken by the slight bruises that some stony hearts do not even feel——”

“You silly fool!” said Raphael. “When has suffering ever been less intense for someone with a more sensitive nature? One day, when science reaches a point where we can examine the natural history of hearts, classifying them into categories like genera, sub-genera, and families—into crustaceans, fossils, reptiles, infusoria, or whatever else it is—then, my dear friend, it will be shown that there are natures as delicate and fragile as flowers, which are shattered by the smallest hurts that some unfeeling hearts don't even notice——”

“For pity’s sake, spare me thy exordium,” said Emile, as, half plaintive, half amused, he took Raphael’s hand.

“For goodness' sake, spare me your introduction,” said Emile, as, half whining, half amused, he took Raphael’s hand.





II. A WOMAN WITHOUT A HEART

After a moment’s silence, Raphael said with a careless gesture:

After a brief pause, Raphael said with a casual wave:

“Perhaps it is an effect of the fumes of punch—I really cannot tell—this clearness of mind that enables me to comprise my whole life in a single picture, where figures and hues, lights, shades, and half-tones are faithfully rendered. I should not have been so surprised at this poetical play of imagination if it were not accompanied with a sort of scorn for my past joys and sorrows. Seen from afar, my life appears to contract by some mental process. That long, slow agony of ten years’ duration can be brought to memory to-day in some few phrases, in which pain is resolved into a mere idea, and pleasure becomes a philosophical reflection. Instead of feeling things, I weigh and consider them——”

“Maybe it's the punch fumes—I really can’t say—that are making my mind so clear that I can see my entire life in one image, where the figures, colors, lights, shadows, and shades are all accurately depicted. I wouldn’t have been so surprised by this creative flow of thoughts if it weren’t mixed with a kind of disdain for my past happiness and heartbreaks. From a distance, my life seems to shrink down through some mental process. That long, slow agony of ten years can now be recalled in just a few phrases, where pain turns into a simple idea and pleasure becomes a philosophical thought. Instead of feeling emotions, I analyze and reflect on them—”

“You are as tiresome as the explanation of an amendment,” cried Emile.

“You're as boring as explaining an amendment,” cried Emile.

“Very likely,” said Raphael submissively. “I spare you the first seventeen years of my life for fear of abusing a listener’s patience. Till that time, like you and thousands of others, I had lived my life at school or the lycee, with its imaginary troubles and genuine happinesses, which are so pleasant to look back upon. Our jaded palates still crave for that Lenten fare, so long as we have not tried it afresh. It was a pleasant life, with the tasks that we thought so contemptible, but which taught us application for all that....”

“Very likely,” Raphael said humbly. “I’ll skip over the first seventeen years of my life to avoid testing a listener’s patience. Until that point, like you and thousands of others, I spent my days in school or at the lycee, experiencing its make-believe problems and real joys, which are so nice to reminisce about. Our tired tastes still long for that simple food, as long as we haven’t had it again. It was a nice life, filled with tasks we considered trivial, but which taught us determination despite that....”

“Let the drama begin,” said Emile, half-plaintively, half-comically.

"Let the drama unfold," said Emile, part wistfully, part jokingly.

“When I left school,” Raphael went on, with a gesture that claimed the right of speaking, “my father submitted me to a strict discipline; he installed me in a room near his own study, and I had to rise at five in the morning and be in bed by nine at night. He meant me to take my law studies seriously. I attended the Schools, and read with an advocate as well, but my lectures and work were so narrowly circumscribed by the laws of time and space, and my father required such a strict account of my doings, at dinner, that...”

“When I left school,” Raphael continued, using a gesture that asserted his right to speak, “my father put me under a strict routine; he set me up in a room next to his study, and I had to wake up at five in the morning and be in bed by nine at night. He wanted me to take my law studies seriously. I attended classes and studied with a lawyer too, but my lectures and work were so limited by time and space, and my father demanded such a strict report on my activities at dinner, that...”

“What is this to me?” asked Emile.

“What does this mean to me?” asked Emile.

“The devil take you!” said Raphael. “How are you to enter into my feelings if I do not relate the facts that insensibly shaped my character, made me timid, and prolonged the period of youthful simplicity? In this manner I cowered under as strict a despotism as a monarch’s till I came of age. To depict the tedium of my life, it will be perhaps enough to portray my father to you. He was tall, thin, and slight, with a hatchet face, and pale complexion; a man of few words, fidgety as an old maid, exacting as a senior clerk. His paternal solicitude hovered over my merriment and gleeful thoughts, and seemed to cover them with a leaden pall. Any effusive demonstration on my part was received by him as a childish absurdity. I was far more afraid of him than I had been of any of our masters at school.

“The devil take you!” said Raphael. “How are you supposed to understand my feelings if I don’t share the experiences that quietly shaped my character, made me timid, and extended my period of youthful innocence? Because of this, I lived under a strict rule as oppressive as a monarch's until I came of age. To illustrate the monotony of my life, it might be enough to describe my father to you. He was tall, thin, and slight, with a sharp face and pale complexion; a man of few words, as fidgety as an old maid, and as demanding as a senior clerk. His fatherly concern overshadowed my joy and cheerful thoughts, wrapping them in a heavy gloom. Any show of emotion from me was seen by him as childish nonsense. I was much more afraid of him than I had been of any of our teachers at school.

“I seem to see him before me at this moment. In his chestnut-brown frock-coat he looked like a red herring wrapped up in the cover of a pamphlet, and he held himself as erect as an Easter candle. But I was fond of my father, and at heart he was right enough. Perhaps we never hate severity when it has its source in greatness of character and pure morals, and is skilfully tempered with kindness. My father, it is true, never left me a moment to myself, and only when I was twenty years old gave me so much as ten francs of my own, ten knavish prodigals of francs, such a hoard as I had long vainly desired, which set me a-dreaming of unutterable felicity; yet, for all that he sought to procure relaxations for me. When he had promised me a treat beforehand, he would take me to Les Boufoons, or to a concert or ball, where I hoped to find a mistress.... A mistress! that meant independence. But bashful and timid as I was, knowing nobody, and ignorant of the dialect of drawing-rooms, I always came back as awkward as ever, and swelling with unsatisfied desires, to be put in harness like a troop horse next day by my father, and to return with morning to my advocate, the Palais de Justice, and the law. To have swerved from the straight course which my father had mapped out for me, would have drawn down his wrath upon me; at my first delinquency, he threatened to ship me off as a cabin-boy to the Antilles. A dreadful shiver ran through me if I had ventured to spend a couple of hours in some pleasure party.

“I can see him right in front of me at this moment. In his chestnut-brown frock coat, he looked like a red herring wrapped in a pamphlet cover, and he stood as straight as an Easter candle. But I loved my father, and deep down, he was pretty much right. Maybe we never really hate strictness when it comes from a place of strong character and good morals, especially when it’s skillfully mixed with kindness. It’s true that my father never gave me a moment alone, and it wasn't until I was twenty that he finally gave me ten francs of my own, those ten cheeky francs that I had longed for, which made me dream of unthinkable happiness; yet, he still tried to create opportunities for me to relax. When he promised me a fun outing, he would take me to Les Boufoons or to a concert or dance, where I hoped to find a girlfriend.... A girlfriend! That would mean freedom. But shy and timid as I was, not knowing anyone and clueless about the etiquette of social gatherings, I always returned as awkward as ever, filled with unfulfilled desires, only to be put back to work like a pack horse the next day by my father, and return to my duties at the Palais de Justice with the law. Deviating from the straight path my father had laid out for me would earn me his anger; at my first mistake, he threatened to send me off as a cabin boy to the Antilles. A dreadful chill ran through me if I had dared to spend even a couple of hours at some fun event.”

“Imagine the most wandering imagination and passionate temperament, the tenderest soul and most artistic nature, dwelling continually in the presence of the most flint-hearted, atrabilious, and frigid man on earth; think of me as a young girl married to a skeleton, and you will understand the life whose curious scenes can only be a hearsay tale to you; the plans for running away that perished at the sight of my father, the despair soothed by slumber, the dark broodings charmed away by music. I breathed my sorrows forth in melodies. Beethoven or Mozart would keep my confidences sacred. Nowadays, I smile at recollections of the scruples which burdened my conscience at that epoch of innocence and virtue.

“Imagine the most whimsical imagination and passionate temperament, the sweetest soul and most creative spirit, constantly living with the coldest, most moody, and indifferent man on earth; picture me as a young girl married to a skeleton, and you’ll understand the life whose strange scenes can only be stories to you; the plans for running away that faded at the sight of my father, the despair eased by sleep, the dark thoughts lifted by music. I poured my sorrows into melodies. Beethoven or Mozart would keep my secrets safe. These days, I smile at the worries that weighed on my conscience during that time of innocence and virtue.

“If I set foot in a restaurant, I gave myself up for lost; my fancy led me to look on a cafe as a disreputable haunt, where men lost their characters and embarrassed their fortunes; as for engaging in play, I had not the money to risk. Oh, if I needed to send you to sleep, I would tell you about one of the most frightful pleasures of my life, one of those pleasures with fangs that bury themselves in the heart as the branding-iron enters the convict’s shoulder. I was at a ball at the house of the Duc de Navarreins, my father’s cousin. But to make my position the more perfectly clear, you must know that I wore a threadbare coat, ill-fitting shoes, a tie fit for a stableman, and a soiled pair of gloves. I shrank into a corner to eat ices and watch the pretty faces at my leisure. My father noticed me. Actuated by some motive that I did not fathom, so dumfounded was I by this act of confidence, he handed me his keys and purse to keep. Ten paces away some men were gambling. I heard the rattling of gold; I was twenty years old; I longed to be steeped for one whole day in the follies of my time of life. It was a license of the imagination that would find a parallel neither in the freaks of courtesans, nor in the dreams of young girls. For a year past I had beheld myself well dressed, in a carriage, with a pretty woman by my side, playing the great lord, dining at Very’s, deciding not to go back home till the morrow; but was prepared for my father with a plot more intricate than the Marriage of Figaro, which he could not possibly have unraveled. All this bliss would cost, I estimated, fifty crowns. Was it not the artless idea of playing truant that still had charms for me?

“If I walked into a restaurant, I knew I was lost; my imagination made me see a cafe as a shady place where men ruined their reputations and jeopardized their wealth; as for gambling, I didn't have money to throw away. Oh, if I wanted to bore you, I’d tell you about one of the most terrifying pleasures of my life, one of those pleasures that sink their teeth into your heart like a branding iron into a convict’s shoulder. I was at a ball at the house of the Duc de Navarreins, my father’s cousin. To make my situation perfectly clear, you should know that I wore a worn-out coat, ill-fitting shoes, a tie that looked like it belonged to a stablehand, and dirty gloves. I shrank into a corner to enjoy some ice cream and watch the beautiful faces at my leisure. My father saw me. Driven by some reason I couldn’t understand, so stunned was I by this gesture of trust, he handed me his keys and purse to hold. Ten steps away, some men were gambling. I could hear gold coins clinking; I was twenty years old; I wished to immerse myself, even if just for one day, in the foolishness of my youth. It was a flight of imagination that couldn't be matched by the whims of courtesans or the dreams of young girls. For the past year, I had pictured myself finely dressed, in a carriage, with a beautiful woman by my side, playing the wealthy nobleman, dining at Very’s, planning not to return home until the next day; but I had a scheme for my father that was more complicated than the Marriage of Figaro, which he could never have unraveled. All this happiness would cost, I estimated, fifty crowns. Wasn’t it the simple idea of skipping out on responsibilities that still held a charm for me?

“I went into a small adjoining room, and when alone counted my father’s money with smarting eyes and trembling fingers—a hundred crowns! The joys of my escapade rose before me at the thought of the amount; joys that flitted about me like Macbeth’s witches round their caldron; joys how alluring! how thrilling! how delicious! I became a deliberate rascal. I heeded neither my tingling ears nor the violent beating of my heart, but took out two twenty-franc pieces that I seem to see yet. The dates had been erased, and Bonaparte’s head simpered upon them. After I had put back the purse in my pocket, I returned to the gaming-table with the two pieces of gold in the palms of my damp hands, prowling about the players like a sparrow-hawk round a coop of chickens. Tormented by inexpressible terror, I flung a sudden clairvoyant glance round me, and feeling quite sure that I was seen by none of my acquaintance, betted on a stout, jovial little man, heaping upon his head more prayers and vows than are put up during two or three storms at sea. Then, with an intuitive scoundrelism, or Machiavelism, surprising in one of my age, I went and stood in the door, and looked about me in the rooms, though I saw nothing; for both mind and eyes hovered about that fateful green cloth.

I stepped into a small adjoining room, and once I was alone, I counted my father’s money with stinging eyes and shaking fingers—a hundred crowns! The excitement of my little adventure surged through me at the thought of the amount; a thrill that danced around me like Macbeth’s witches by their cauldron; such tempting joys! So exhilarating! So delightful! I turned into a calculated rogue. I ignored the buzzing in my ears and the frantic pounding of my heart, and took out two twenty-franc coins that I can still picture. The dates had been scrubbed off, and Bonaparte’s head smiled back at me. After slipping the purse back into my pocket, I returned to the gaming table with the two gold coins cradled in my sweaty palms, stalking the players like a hawk circling a flock of chickens. Wracked with indescribable fear, I quickly glanced around, reassured that none of my acquaintances saw me, and placed my bet on a stout, cheerful little man, showering him with more prayers and wishes than anyone would offer during a couple of storms at sea. Then, with a sly intuition surprising for someone my age, I went and stood in the doorway, glancing around the rooms, though I didn't see anything; my mind and eyes were fixated on that fateful green cloth.

“That evening fixes the date of a first observation of a physiological kind; to it I owe a kind of insight into certain mysteries of our double nature that I have since been enabled to penetrate. I had my back turned on the table where my future felicity lay at stake, a felicity but so much the more intense that it was criminal. Between me and the players stood a wall of onlookers some five feet deep, who were chatting; the murmur of voices drowned the clinking of gold, which mingled in the sounds sent up by this orchestra; yet, despite all obstacles, I distinctly heard the words of the two players by a gift accorded to the passions, which enables them to annihilate time and space. I saw the points they made; I knew which of the two turned up the king as well as if I had actually seen the cards; at a distance of ten paces, in short, the fortunes of play blanched my face.

That evening marked the first time I observed something physiological; it gave me insight into some mysteries of our dual nature that I've been able to explore since. I had my back to the table where my future happiness was at stake, a happiness that was even more intense because it was illicit. Between me and the players was a five-foot-deep wall of spectators chatting away; their murmurs drowned out the sound of the gold clinking, which blended into this background noise. Yet, despite all the distractions, I clearly heard the words of the two players because of a gift that passion gives, allowing it to transcend time and space. I watched the moves they made; I knew which of the two revealed the king as if I had actually seen the cards myself; even from ten paces away, the stakes of the game drained the color from my face.

“My father suddenly went by, and then I knew what the Scripture meant by ‘The Spirit of God passed before his face.’ I had won. I slipped through the crowd of men who had gathered about the players with the quickness of an eel escaping through a broken mesh in a net. My nerves thrilled with joy instead of anguish. I felt like some criminal on the way to torture released by a chance meeting with the king. It happened that a man with a decoration found himself short by forty francs. Uneasy eyes suspected me; I turned pale, and drops of perspiration stood on my forehead, I was well punished, I thought, for having robbed my father. Then the kind little stout man said, in a voice like an angel’s surely, ‘All these gentlemen have paid their stakes,’ and put down the forty francs himself. I raised my head in triumph upon the players. After I had returned the money I had taken from it to my father’s purse, I left my winnings with that honest and worthy gentleman, who continued to win. As soon as I found myself possessed of a hundred and sixty francs, I wrapped them up in my handkerchief, so that they could neither move or rattle on the way back; and I played no more.

“My father suddenly passed by, and then I understood what the Scripture meant by ‘The Spirit of God passed before his face.’ I had won. I slipped through the crowd of men gathered around the players with the speed of an eel escaping through a broken net. My nerves buzzed with joy instead of pain. I felt like a criminal on the way to torture, suddenly freed by a chance meeting with the king. It turned out a man with a medal found himself short by forty francs. Nervous glances fell on me; I turned pale, and beads of sweat formed on my forehead. I thought I deserved it for having stolen from my father. Then the kind little stout man said, in a voice that must have been like an angel’s, ‘All these gentlemen have paid their stakes,’ and he put down the forty francs himself. I lifted my head in triumph at the players. After I returned the money I had taken from my father’s purse, I left my winnings with that honest and deserving gentleman, who continued to win. Once I had a hundred and sixty francs, I wrapped them in my handkerchief so they wouldn’t jingle on the way back; and I didn’t play anymore.”

“‘What were you doing at the card-table?’ said my father as we stepped into the carriage.

“‘What were you doing at the card table?’ my father asked as we got into the carriage.”

“‘I was looking on,’ I answered, trembling.

“I was watching,” I replied, shaking.

“‘But it would have been nothing out of the common if you had been prompted by self-love to put some money down on the table. In the eyes of men of the world you are quite old enough to assume the right to commit such follies. So I should have pardoned you, Raphael, if you had made use of my purse.....’

“‘But it wouldn't have been unusual if you had felt a bit selfish and decided to put some money on the table. People in the world think you're old enough to do things like that. So I would have forgiven you, Raphael, if you had used my money.....’”

“I did not answer. When we reached home, I returned the keys and money to my father. As he entered his study, he emptied out his purse on the mantelpiece, counted the money, and turned to me with a kindly look, saying with more or less long and significant pauses between each phrase:

“I didn’t reply. When we got home, I handed the keys and money back to my dad. As he went into his study, he dumped out his wallet on the mantelpiece, counted the cash, and looked at me with a friendly expression, saying with some pauses between each phrase:

“‘My boy, you are very nearly twenty now. I am satisfied with you. You ought to have an allowance, if only to teach you how to lay it out, and to gain some acquaintance with everyday business. Henceforward I shall let you have a hundred francs each month. Here is your first quarter’s income for this year,’ he added, fingering a pile of gold, as if to make sure that the amount was correct. ‘Do what you please with it.’

“‘My boy, you’re almost twenty now. I’m proud of you. You should have an allowance, if only to help you learn how to manage it and get familiar with everyday finances. From now on, I’ll give you a hundred francs each month. Here’s your first quarter’s income for this year,’ he said, counting a stack of gold to ensure the amount was right. ‘Do whatever you want with it.’”

“I confess that I was ready to fling myself at his feet, to tell him that I was a thief, a scoundrel, and, worse than all, a liar! But a feeling of shame held me back. I went up to him for an embrace, but he gently pushed me away.

“I admit I was ready to throw myself at his feet, to confess that I was a thief, a jerk, and, worst of all, a liar! But a sense of shame stopped me. I went up to him for a hug, but he gently pushed me away.

“‘You are a man now, my child,’ he said. ‘What I have just done was a very proper and simple thing, for which there is no need to thank me. If I have any claim to your gratitude, Raphael,’ he went on, in a kind but dignified way, ‘it is because I have preserved your youth from the evils that destroy young men in Paris. We will be two friends henceforth. In a year’s time you will be a doctor of law. Not without some hardship and privations you have acquired the sound knowledge and the love of, and application to, work that is indispensable to public men. You must learn to know me, Raphael. I do not want to make either an advocate or a notary of you, but a statesman, who shall be the pride of our poor house.... Good-night,’ he added.

“‘You’re a man now, my child,’ he said. ‘What I just did was a very proper and straightforward thing, and there’s no need to thank me for it. If I deserve any gratitude from you, Raphael,’ he continued, in a kind yet dignified tone, ‘it’s because I’ve protected your youth from the dangers that ruin young men in Paris. From now on, we’ll be friends. In a year, you’ll be a law graduate. You’ve gained the solid knowledge and the dedication to hard work that are essential for public figures, though it hasn’t come without some struggles and sacrifices. You need to get to know me, Raphael. I don’t want to make you an advocate or a notary; I want to shape you into a statesman who will make our humble home proud.... Good night,’ he added.”

“From that day my father took me fully into confidence. I was an only son; and ten years before, I had lost my mother. In time past my father, the head of a historic family remembered even now in Auvergne, had come to Paris to fight against his evil star, dissatisfied at the prospect of tilling the soil, with his useless sword by his side. He was endowed with the shrewdness that gives the men of the south of France a certain ascendency when energy goes with it. Almost unaided, he made a position for himself near the fountain of power. The revolution brought a reverse of fortune, but he had managed to marry an heiress of good family, and, in the time of the Empire, appeared to be on the point of restoring to our house its ancient splendor.

“From that day on, my father completely confided in me. I was his only son, and ten years earlier, I had lost my mother. In the past, my father, the head of a historic family still remembered in Auvergne, had come to Paris to fight against his bad luck, unhappy with the thought of farming, with his useless sword by his side. He had a sharpness that gave the men from southern France a certain advantage when paired with energy. Almost by himself, he built a position for himself near the center of power. The revolution brought a downturn in fortunes, but he had managed to marry an heiress from a good family, and during the Empire, he seemed to be on the verge of restoring our house to its former glory.”

“The Restoration, while it brought back considerable property to my mother, was my father’s ruin. He had formerly purchased several estates abroad, conferred by the Emperor on his generals; and now for ten years he struggled with liquidators, diplomatists, and Prussian and Bavarian courts of law, over the disputed possession of these unfortunate endowments. My father plunged me into the intricate labyrinths of law proceedings on which our future depended. We might be compelled to return the rents, as well as the proceeds arising from sales of timber made during the years 1814 to 1817; in that case my mother’s property would have barely saved our credit. So it fell out that the day on which my father in a fashion emancipated me, brought me under a most galling yoke. I entered on a conflict like a battlefield; I must work day and night; seek interviews with statesmen, surprise their convictions, try to interest them in our affairs, and gain them over, with their wives and servants, and their very dogs; and all this abominable business had to take the form of pretty speeches and polite attentions. Then I knew the mortifications that had left their blighting traces on my father’s face. For about a year I led outwardly the life of a man of the world, but enormous labors lay beneath the surface of gadding about, and eager efforts to attach myself to influential kinsmen, or to people likely to be useful to us. My relaxations were lawsuits, and memorials still furnished the staple of my conversation. Hitherto my life had been blameless, from the sheer impossibility of indulging the desires of youth; but now I became my own master, and in dread of involving us both in ruin by some piece of negligence, I did not dare to allow myself any pleasure or expenditure.

“The Restoration brought back a lot of property to my mom, but it was the downfall of my dad. He had bought several estates abroad, which were granted by the Emperor to his generals; and for ten years, he struggled with liquidators, diplomats, and the Prussian and Bavarian courts over the disputed ownership of these unfortunate assets. My dad dragged me into the complicated maze of legal proceedings that determined our future. We could be forced to return the rents, as well as the profits from timber sales made during the years 1814 to 1817; if that happened, my mom’s property would barely protect our reputation. So it turned out that the day my dad kind of set me free also put me under a heavy burden. I entered a conflict like it was a battlefield; I had to work day and night; seek meetings with politicians, sway their opinions, try to interest them in our situation, and win them over, along with their spouses, staff, and even their dogs; and all this terrible business had to be wrapped in nice speeches and polite gestures. Then I understood the humiliations that had left their harsh marks on my dad’s face. For about a year, I pretended to live like a worldly man, but there was a huge amount of hard work going on behind the scenes of my socializing and desperate attempts to connect with influential relatives or anyone who could help us. My breaks came from lawsuits, and legal documents were the main topic of my conversations. Until now, my life had been spotless, simply because I couldn’t indulge in the desires of youth; but now I was my own master, and afraid of dragging us both into disaster through some careless mistake, I didn’t allow myself any pleasure or spending.”

“While we are young, and before the world has rubbed off the delicate bloom from our sentiments, the freshness of our impressions, the noble purity of conscience which will never allow us to palter with evil, the sense of duty is very strong within us, the voice of honor clamors within us, and we are open and straightforward. At that time I was all these things. I wished to justify my father’s confidence in me. But lately I would have stolen a paltry sum from him, with secret delight; but now that I shared the burden of his affairs, of his name and of his house, I would secretly have given up my fortune and my hopes for him, as I was sacrificing my pleasures, and even have been glad of the sacrifice! So when M. de Villele exhumed, for our special benefit, an imperial decree concerning forfeitures, and had ruined us, I authorized the sale of my property, only retaining an island in the middle of the Loire where my mother was buried. Perhaps arguments and evasions, philosophical, philanthropic, and political considerations would not fail me now, to hinder the perpetration of what my solicitor termed a ‘folly’; but at one-and-twenty, I repeat, we are all aglow with generosity and affection. The tears that stood in my father’s eyes were to me the most splendid of fortunes, and the thought of those tears has often soothed my sorrow. Ten months after he had paid his creditors, my father died of grief; I was his idol, and he had ruined me! The thought killed him. Towards the end of the autumn of 1826, at the age of twenty-two, I was the sole mourner at his graveside—the grave of my father and my earliest friend. Not many young men have found themselves alone with their thoughts as they followed a hearse, or have seen themselves lost in crowded Paris, and without money or prospects. Orphans rescued by public charity have at any rate the future of the battlefield before them, and find a shelter in some institution and a father in the government or in the procureur du roi. I had nothing.

“While we're young, and before the world dulls the fresh glow of our feelings, our impressions are vivid, and our sense of right and wrong is clear; we feel a strong sense of duty, the voice of honor calls out within us, and we are open and honest. At that time, I was all of those things. I wanted to prove my father’s trust in me. But lately, I found myself wanting to steal a small amount from him, secretly feeling pleased about it; yet now that I had a stake in his affairs, his name, and his home, I would have gladly given up my wealth and dreams for him, just as I was sacrificing my pleasures, and I would have welcomed that sacrifice! So when M. de Villele brought up an imperial decree about forfeitures that led to our ruin, I agreed to sell my property, keeping only an island in the middle of the Loire where my mother was buried. Perhaps I could have found reasons and excuses, philosophical, philanthropic, and political arguments to prevent what my lawyer called a ‘foolishness’; but at twenty-one, I must emphasize, we are filled with generosity and love. The tears in my father’s eyes were the greatest treasure to me, and the thought of those tears has often comforted my sorrow. Ten months after he settled his debts, my father died of grief; I was his pride, and he had destroyed me! That thought was his downfall. By the end of autumn 1826, at the age of twenty-two, I was the only mourner at his grave—the grave of my father and my first friend. Not many young men have found themselves alone with their thoughts while following a hearse, or felt lost in crowded Paris, without money or opportunities. Orphans taken in by public charity at least have the battlefield of the future ahead of them, and find shelter in institutions along with a father in the government or in the procureur du roi. I had nothing.”

“Three months later, an agent made over to me eleven hundred and twelve francs, the net proceeds of the winding up of my father’s affairs. Our creditors had driven us to sell our furniture. From my childhood I had been used to set a high value on the articles of luxury about us, and I could not help showing my astonishment at the sight of this meagre balance.

“Three months later, an agent handed me eleven hundred and twelve francs, the net proceeds from settling my father’s estate. Our creditors had forced us to sell our furniture. Since childhood, I had valued the luxury items around us, so I couldn’t help but express my shock at seeing this small amount.”

“‘Oh, rococo, all of it!’ said the auctioneer. A terrible word that fell like a blight on the sacred memories of my childhood, and dispelled my earliest illusions, the dearest of all. My entire fortune was comprised in this ‘account rendered,’ my future lay in a linen bag with eleven hundred and twelve francs in it, human society stood before me in the person of an auctioneer’s clerk, who kept his hat on while he spoke. Jonathan, an old servant who was much attached to me, and whom my mother had formerly pensioned with an annuity of four hundred francs, spoke to me as I was leaving the house that I had so often gaily left for a drive in my childhood.

“‘Oh, rococo, all of it!’ said the auctioneer. A terrible word that landed like a curse on the cherished memories of my childhood, shattering my earliest and most precious illusions. My entire fortune was wrapped up in this ‘account rendered,’ my future was contained in a linen bag holding eleven hundred and twelve francs, and human society stood before me in the form of an auctioneer’s clerk, who kept his hat on while he spoke. Jonathan, an old servant who was very fond of me and whom my mother had once given a pension of four hundred francs, spoke to me as I was leaving the house I had so often happily departed from for a drive during my childhood.”

“‘Be very economical, Monsieur Raphael!’

"‘Be very frugal, Monsieur Raphael!’"

“The good fellow was crying.

“The nice guy was crying.

“Such were the events, dear Emile, that ruled my destinies, moulded my character, and set me, while still young, in an utterly false social position,” said Raphael after a pause. “Family ties, weak ones, it is true, bound me to a few wealthy houses, but my own pride would have kept me aloof from them if contempt and indifference had not shut their doors on me in the first place. I was related to people who were very influential, and who lavished their patronage on strangers; but I found neither relations nor patrons in them. Continually circumscribed in my affections, they recoiled upon me. Unreserved and simple by nature, I must have appeared frigid and sophisticated. My father’s discipline had destroyed all confidence in myself. I was shy and awkward; I could not believe that my opinion carried any weight whatever; I took no pleasure in myself; I thought myself ugly, and was ashamed to meet my own eyes. In spite of the inward voice that must be the stay of a man with anything in him, in all his struggles, the voice that cries, ‘Courage! Go forward!’ in spite of sudden revelations of my own strength in my solitude; in spite of the hopes that thrilled me as I compared new works, that the public admired so much, with the schemes that hovered in my brain,—in spite of all this, I had a childish mistrust of myself.

“Such were the events, dear Emile, that shaped my life, formed my character, and placed me in a completely false social position while I was still young,” said Raphael after a pause. “I had some weak family ties to a few wealthy families, but my pride would have kept me away from them if their disdain and indifference hadn’t already closed their doors to me. I was connected to very influential people who dedicated their support to outsiders, but I found neither family nor support from them. Constantly limited in my relationships, they bounced back on me. Open and simple by nature, I must have seemed cold and sophisticated. My father’s strictness had shattered my self-confidence. I was shy and clumsy; I couldn't believe my opinions mattered at all; I took no joy in myself; I thought I was unattractive and was embarrassed to meet my own gaze. Despite the inner voice that should encourage a man with substance, that voice that shouts, ‘Courage! Move forward!’ and despite sudden revelations of my own strength when I was alone; despite the excitement I felt comparing new works that the public admired so much with the ideas dancing in my head,—despite all this, I had a childlike distrust of myself.

“An overweening ambition preyed upon me; I believed that I was meant for great things, and yet I felt myself to be nothing. I had need of other men, and I was friendless. I found I must make my way in the world, where I was quite alone, and bashful, rather than afraid.

“An excessive ambition consumed me; I thought I was destined for great things, yet I felt like nothing. I needed other people, but I was friendless. I realized I had to navigate the world on my own, feeling more shy than afraid.”

“All through the year in which, by my father’s wish, I threw myself into the whirlpool of fashionable society, I came away with an inexperienced heart, and fresh in mind. Like every grown child, I sighed in secret for a love affair. I met, among young men of my own age, a set of swaggerers who held their heads high, and talked about trifles as they seated themselves without a tremor beside women who inspired awe in me. They chattered nonsense, sucked the heads of their canes, gave themselves affected airs, appropriated the fairest women, and laid, or pretended that they had laid their heads on every pillow. Pleasure, seemingly, was at their beck and call; they looked on the most virtuous and prudish as an easy prey, ready to surrender at a word, at the slightest impudent gesture or insolent look. I declare, on my soul and conscience, that the attainment of power, or of a great name in literature, seemed to me an easier victory than a success with some young, witty, and gracious lady of high degree.

“All year long, since my father wanted it, I dove into the chaos of fashionable society, leaving it with a naive heart and fresh memories. Like any grown-up child, I secretly longed for a romance. Among guys my age, I encountered a group of show-offs who carried themselves with arrogance and chatted about meaningless things as they confidently sat next to women who intimidated me. They babbled nonsense, toyed with their canes, put on pretentious airs, claimed the most beautiful women, and either had or pretended to have experienced every kind of romance. It seemed like pleasure was always within their reach; they viewed even the most virtuous and reserved women as easy targets, ready to give in at a word, with the slightest impudent gesture or bold look. I swear, on my soul and conscience, that achieving power or a great reputation in literature felt like an easier win than capturing the affection of a young, witty, and charming woman of high status.”

“So I found the tumult of my heart, my feelings, and my creeds all at variance with the axioms of society. I had plenty of audacity in my character, but none in my manner. Later, I found out that women did not like to be implored. I have from afar adored many a one to whom I devoted a soul proof against all tests, a heart to break, energy that shrank from no sacrifice and from no torture; they accepted fools whom I would not have engaged as hall porters. How often, mute and motionless, have I not admired the lady of my dreams, swaying in the dance; given up my life in thought to one eternal caress, expressed all my hopes in a look, and laid before her, in my rapture, a young man’s love, which should outstrip all fables. At some moments I was ready to barter my whole life for one single night. Well, as I could never find a listener for my impassioned proposals, eyes to rest my own upon, a heart made for my heart, I lived on in all the sufferings of impotent force that consumes itself; lacking either opportunity or courage or experience. I despaired, maybe, of making myself understood, or I feared to be understood but too well; and yet the storm within me was ready to burst at every chance courteous look. In spite of my readiness to take the semblance of interest in look or word for a tenderer solicitude, I dared neither to speak nor to be silent seasonably. My words grew insignificant, and my silence stupid, by sheer stress of emotion. I was too ingenuous, no doubt, for that artificial life, led by candle-light, where every thought is expressed in conventional phrases, or by words that fashion dictates; and not only so, I had not learned how to employ speech that says nothing, and silence that says a great deal. In short, I concealed the fires that consumed me, and with such a soul as women wish to find, with all the elevation of soul that they long for, and a mettle that fools plume themselves upon, all women have been cruelly treacherous to me.

“So I found the chaos in my heart, my emotions, and my beliefs all conflicting with what society expected. I had a lot of boldness in my character, but none in my demeanor. Later, I discovered that women didn’t like to be begged. From a distance, I have admired many women to whom I devoted a soul resistant to all challenges, a heart that could break, and an energy that wouldn’t shrink from any sacrifice or pain; they accepted fools whom I wouldn’t have hired as doormen. How often, silent and still, have I admired the woman of my dreams, swaying in the dance; surrendered my life in thought to one endless embrace, expressed all my hopes with a glance, and offered her, in my rapture, a young man’s love that should surpass all legends. At times, I was ready to trade my entire life for just one night. Well, since I could never find someone to listen to my passionate declarations, someone to meet my gaze, a heart that matched mine, I lived on in all the torment of unfulfilled longing that consumes itself; lacking either opportunity, bravery, or experience. I despaired, maybe, of being understood, or I feared being understood all too well; yet the storm within me was ready to erupt at every kind glance. Despite my eagerness to interpret any show of interest in look or word as deeper concern, I dared neither to speak nor to maintain silence at the right moment. My words became trivial, and my silence seemed foolish, simply from the weight of my emotions. I was probably too naive for that superficial life, illuminated by candlelight, where every thought is expressed in clichéd phrases or words dictated by convention; and not only that, I hadn’t learned how to use words that convey nothing, and silence that conveys a lot. In short, I hid the fires that consumed me, and with a soul that women typically seek, with all the depth of spirit they desire, and a courage that fools boast about, all women have been cruelly unfaithful to me.

“So in my simplicity I admired the heroes of this set when they bragged about their conquests, and never suspected them of lying. No doubt it was a mistake to wish for a love that springs for a word’s sake; to expect to find in the heart of a vain, frivolous woman, greedy for luxury and intoxicated with vanity, the great sea of passion that surged tempestuously in my own breast. Oh! to feel that you were born to love, to make some woman’s happiness, and yet to find not one, not even a noble and courageous Marceline, not so much as an old Marquise! Oh! to carry a treasure in your wallet, and not find even some child, or inquisitive young girl, to admire it! In my despair I often wished to kill myself.”

“So in my innocence, I admired the heroes of this group when they bragged about their achievements, and I never suspected they were lying. It was definitely a mistake to wish for a love that comes easily; to expect to find in the heart of a vain, shallow woman, obsessed with luxury and drunk on her own ego, the depth of passion that surged wildly in my own heart. Oh! To feel that you were meant to love, to bring joy to some woman, and yet to find not one, not even a noble and brave Marceline, not even an old Marquise! Oh! To have a treasure in your pocket, and not find even a curious child or young girl to admire it! In my despair, I often wished I could end it all.”

“Finely tragical to-night!” cried Emile.

“Super tragical tonight!” cried Emile.

“Let me pass sentence on my life,” Raphael answered. “If your friendship is not strong enough to bear with my elegy, if you cannot put up with half an hour’s tedium for my sake, go to sleep! But, then, never ask again for the reason of suicide that hangs over me, that comes nearer and calls to me, that I bow myself before. If you are to judge a man, you must know his secret thoughts, sorrows, and feelings; to know merely the outward events of a man’s life would only serve to make a chronological table—a fool’s notion of history.”

“Let me take account of my life,” Raphael replied. “If your friendship isn’t strong enough to handle my lament, if you can’t endure half an hour of boredom for my sake, then go ahead and sleep! But don’t ever ask again about the reason behind the suicide that looms over me, that gets closer and calls to me, that I bow down to. If you’re going to judge a person, you need to understand their inner thoughts, struggles, and feelings; just knowing the external events of someone’s life would only create a timeline—a foolish idea of history.”

Emile was so much struck with the bitter tones in which these words were spoken, that he began to pay close attention to Raphael, whom he watched with a bewildered expression.

Emile was so taken aback by the harshness in the way those words were said that he started to really focus on Raphael, watching him with a confused look on his face.

“Now,” continued the speaker, “all these things that befell me appear in a new light. The sequence of events that I once thought so unfortunate created the splendid powers of which, later, I became so proud. If I may believe you, I possess the power of readily expressing my thoughts, and I could take a forward place in the great field of knowledge; and is not this the result of scientific curiosity, of excessive application, and a love of reading which possessed me from the age of seven till my entry on life? The very neglect in which I was left, and the consequent habits of self-repression and self-concentration; did not these things teach me how to consider and reflect? Nothing in me was squandered in obedience to the exactions of the world, which humble the proudest soul and reduce it to a mere husk; and was it not this very fact that refined the emotional part of my nature till it became the perfected instrument of a loftier purpose than passionate desires? I remember watching the women who mistook me with all the insight of contemned love.

“Now,” the speaker continued, “all these experiences I've had look different to me now. The series of events I once viewed as unfortunate actually gave rise to the incredible abilities that I later took pride in. If I can trust your words, I have the ability to express my thoughts clearly, and I could take a prominent spot in the vast realm of knowledge; isn’t this the outcome of my scientific curiosity, intense dedication, and a love for reading that captivated me from the age of seven until I stepped into adulthood? The very neglect I experienced and the resulting habits of self-discipline and deep focus—didn’t these shape my ability to think and reflect? Nothing in me was wasted in trying to meet the demands of the world, which can humble even the proudest soul and reduce it to a mere shell; and isn’t it this very fact that polished the emotional side of my nature until it became a refined tool for a greater purpose than mere passions? I remember observing the women who misjudged me, with all the understanding of unreciprocated love.

“I can see now that my natural sincerity must have been displeasing to them; women, perhaps, even require a little hypocrisy. And I, who in the same hour’s space am alternately a man and a child, frivolous and thoughtful, free from bias and brimful of superstition, and oftentimes myself as much a woman as any of them; how should they do otherwise than take my simplicity for cynicism, my innocent candor for impudence? They found my knowledge tiresome; my feminine languor, weakness. I was held to be listless and incapable of love or of steady purpose; a too active imagination, that curse of poets, was no doubt the cause. My silence was idiotic; and as I daresay I alarmed them by my efforts to please, women one and all have condemned me. With tears and mortification, I bowed before the decision of the world; but my distress was not barren. I determined to revenge myself on society; I would dominate the feminine intellect, and so have the feminine soul at my mercy; all eyes should be fixed upon me, when the servant at the door announced my name. I had determined from my childhood that I would be a great man; I said with Andre Chenier, as I struck my forehead, ‘There is something underneath that!’ I felt, I believed, the thought within me that I must express, the system I must establish, the knowledge I must interpret.

“I can see now that my straightforwardness probably annoyed them; women, perhaps, even prefer a bit of pretense. And I, who within the same hour can be both an adult and a child, carefree and contemplative, unbiased and overflowing with superstition, and often feeling as much like a woman as any of them; how could they not mistake my simplicity for cynicism and my innocent honesty for rudeness? They found my knowledge boring and my feminine softness a weakness. I was perceived as lethargic, unable to love or commit; a too vivid imagination, which is the downfall of poets, was likely to blame. My silence seemed foolish; and since I probably startled them with my attempts to be charming, every woman condemned me. With tears and humiliation, I accepted the world's judgement; but my suffering did not go to waste. I resolved to get back at society; I would master feminine intellect and thus have the feminine soul at my command; all eyes should be on me when the servant at the door announced my name. Since childhood, I had decided I would be a great man; I proclaimed with Andre Chenier, as I hit my forehead, ‘There is something underneath that!’ I felt, I believed, there was a thought inside me that I needed to express, a system I needed to create, the knowledge I had to interpret.”

“Let me pour out my follies, dear Emile; to-day I am barely twenty-six years old, certain of dying unrecognized, and I have never been the lover of the woman I dreamed of possessing. Have we not all of us, more or less, believed in the reality of a thing because we wished it? I would never have a young man for my friend who did not place himself in dreams upon a pedestal, weave crowns for his head, and have complaisant mistresses. I myself would often be a general, nay, emperor; I have been a Byron, and then a nobody. After this sport on these pinnacles of human achievement, I became aware that all the difficulties and steeps of life were yet to face. My exuberant self-esteem came to my aid; I had that intense belief in my destiny, which perhaps amounts to genius in those who will not permit themselves to be distracted by contact with the world, as sheep that leave their wool on the briars of every thicket they pass by. I meant to cover myself with glory, and to work in silence for the mistress I hoped to have one day. Women for me were resumed into a single type, and this woman I looked to meet in the first that met my eyes; but in each and all I saw a queen, and as queens must make the first advances to their lovers, they must draw near to me—to me, so sickly, shy, and poor. For her, who should take pity on me, my heart held in store such gratitude over and beyond love, that I had worshiped her her whole life long. Later, my observations have taught me bitter truths.

“Let me share my foolishness, dear Emile; today I’m barely twenty-six years old, certain I’ll die unnoticed, and I’ve never been with the woman I dreamed of having. Haven’t we all believed in something’s reality just because we wanted it? I could never have a young friend who didn’t imagine himself in dreams on a pedestal, weaving crowns for himself, and having accommodating mistresses. I often dreamed of being a general, even an emperor; I’ve been a Byron, and then just a nobody. After playing around with those heights of human achievement, I realized all the struggles and challenges of life were still ahead. My inflated self-esteem came to my rescue; I had this intense belief in my destiny, which might even be genius in those who refuse to be sidetracked by the world, like sheep leaving their wool on the thorns in every thicket they pass. I intended to cover myself with glory and work quietly for the woman I hoped to have one day. For me, all women became one single type, and I expected to find this woman in the first one I saw; but in each and every one, I saw a queen, and since queens must make the first move towards their lovers, they ought to come to me—to me, so frail, shy, and poor. For her, who should take pity on me, my heart had such gratitude that went beyond love, that I had worshipped her my entire life. Eventually, my experiences taught me some harsh truths.”

“In this way, dear Emile, I ran the risk of remaining companionless for good. The incomprehensible bent of women’s minds appears to lead them to see nothing but the weak points in a clever man, and the strong points of a fool. They feel the liveliest sympathy with the fool’s good qualities, which perpetually flatter their own defects; while they find the man of talent hardly agreeable enough to compensate for his shortcomings. All capacity is a sort of intermittent fever, and no woman is anxious to share in its discomforts only; they look to find in their lovers the wherewithal to gratify their own vanity. It is themselves that they love in us! But the artist, poor and proud, along with his endowment of creative power, is furnished with an aggressive egotism! Everything about him is involved in I know not what whirlpool of his ideas, and even his mistress must gyrate along with them. How is a woman, spoilt with praise, to believe in the love of a man like that? Will she go to seek him out? That sort of lover has not the leisure to sit beside a sofa and give himself up to the sentimental simperings that women are so fond of, and on which the false and unfeeling pride themselves. He cannot spare the time from his work, and how can he afford to humble himself and go a-masquerading! I was ready to give my life once and for all, but I could not degrade it in detail. Besides, there is something indescribably paltry in a stockbroker’s tactics, who runs on errands for some insipid affected woman; all this disgusts an artist. Love in the abstract is not enough for a great man in poverty; he has need of its utmost devotion. The frivolous creatures who spend their lives in trying on cashmeres, or make themselves into clothes-pegs to hang the fashions from, exact the devotion which is not theirs to give; for them, love means the pleasure of ruling and not of obeying. She who is really a wife, one in heart, flesh, and bone, must follow wherever he leads, in whom her life, her strength, her pride, and happiness are centered. Ambitious men need those Oriental women whose whole thought is given to the study of their requirements; for unhappiness means for them the incompatibility of their means with their desires. But I, who took myself for a man of genius, must needs feel attracted by these very she-coxcombs. So, as I cherished ideas so different from those generally received; as I wished to scale the heavens without a ladder, was possessed of wealth that could not circulate, and of knowledge so wide and so imperfectly arranged and digested that it overtaxed my memory; as I had neither relations nor friends in the midst of this lonely and ghastly desert, a desert of paving stones, full of animation, life, and thought, wherein every one is worse than inimical, indifferent to wit; I made a very natural if foolish resolve, which required such unknown impossibilities, that my spirits rose. It was as if I had laid a wager with myself, for I was at once the player and the cards.

“In this way, dear Emile, I risked being completely alone. The strange way women think seems to make them notice only the weaknesses of a smart man while seeing the strengths of a fool. They feel a strong connection to the fool’s good qualities, which constantly flatter their own shortcomings, while they find the talented man not charming enough to make up for his flaws. All talent is like a temporary fever, and no woman wants to share in its discomforts; they look for their partners to boost their own egos. They are actually in love with themselves through us! But the artist, poor and proud, possesses not only creative talent but also a strong sense of self-importance! Everything about him is caught up in some chaotic whirlwind of his thoughts, and even his girlfriend has to spin along with them. How can a woman, spoiled by compliments, believe in the love of a man like that? Will she go searching for him? That kind of lover doesn’t have time to sit on a couch and indulge in the sentimental moments that women adore—not to mention the false and insincere. He can’t take time away from his work, and how could he lower himself to play pretend? I was ready to give everything for love, but I couldn’t demean myself in little ways. Plus, there’s something incredibly petty about a stockbroker running errands for some shallow, affected woman; it’s all so off-putting to an artist. Love in theory isn’t enough for a great man struggling with poverty; he needs full devotion. The superficial people who spend their lives trying on cashmere or act like hangers for the latest fashions demand devotion they don’t even have the ability to provide; for them, love is about the pleasure of control, not submission. A true wife, connected in heart, body, and soul, must follow wherever her partner leads, in whom her life, strength, pride, and happiness are centered. Ambitious men need those women who solely focus on meeting their needs; for them, unhappiness arises from a mismatch between their means and desires. Yet, I, who considered myself a man of genius, found myself drawn to these very vain women. So, as I held ideas so different from the norm, wishing to reach great heights without help, having wealth that couldn’t flow, and knowledge so vast and disorganized that it overwhelmed my mind; as I had no family or friends in this lonely, grim landscape, a landscape of pavement alive with motion, thought, and life, where everyone is worse than hostile, indifferent to wit; I made a very natural but foolish decision that required such impossible tasks that it lifted my spirits. It felt like I had made a bet with myself, for I was both the player and the cards.”

“This was my plan. The eleven hundred francs must keep life in me for three years—the time I allowed myself in which to bring to light a work which should draw attention to me, and make me either a name or a fortune. I exulted at the thought of living on bread and milk, like a hermit in the Thebaid, while I plunged into the world of books and ideas, and so reached a lofty sphere beyond the tumult of Paris, a sphere of silent labor where I would entomb myself like a chrysalis to await a brilliant and splendid new birth. I imperiled my life in order to live. By reducing my requirements to real needs and the barest necessaries, I found that three hundred and sixty-five francs sufficed for a year of penury; and, in fact, I managed to exist on that slender sum, so long as I submitted to my own claustral discipline.”

“This was my plan. The eleven hundred francs had to last me for three years—the time I gave myself to create a work that would get me noticed and possibly make me a name or a fortune. I was thrilled at the idea of living on bread and milk, like a hermit in the Thebaid, while I immersed myself in books and ideas, reaching a higher level away from the chaos of Paris, a place of quiet work where I would isolate myself like a chrysalis, waiting for a brilliant and glorious rebirth. I risked my life to live. By cutting my needs down to the essentials, I discovered that three hundred and sixty-five francs was enough for a year of poverty; and, in fact, I managed to survive on that meager amount, as long as I followed my own strict routine.”

“Impossible!” cried Emile.

“Unbelievable!” exclaimed Emile.

“I lived for nearly three years in that way,” Raphael answered, with a kind of pride. “Let us reckon it out. Three sous for bread, two for milk, and three for cold meat, kept me from dying of hunger, and my mind in a state of peculiar lucidity. I have observed, as you know, the wonderful effects produced by diet upon the imagination. My lodgings cost me three sous daily; I burnt three sous more in oil at night; I did my own housework, and wore flannel shirts so as to reduce the laundress’ bill to two sous per day. The money I spent yearly in coal, if divided up, never cost more than two sous for each day. I had three years’ supply of clothing, and I only dressed when going out to some library or public lecture. These expenses, all told, only amounted to eighteen sous, so two were left over for emergencies. I cannot recollect, during that long period of toil, either crossing the Pont des Arts, or paying for water; I went out to fetch it every morning from the fountain in the Place Saint Michel, at the corner of the Rue de Gres. Oh, I wore my poverty proudly. A man urged on towards a fair future walks through life like an innocent person to his death; he feels no shame about it.

“I lived like that for almost three years,” Raphael said, with a touch of pride. “Let’s break it down. Three sous for bread, two for milk, and three for cold meat kept me from starving and kept my mind surprisingly clear. As you know, I’ve seen the amazing effects that diet has on the imagination. My rent was three sous a day; I spent another three sous on oil at night; I did my own housekeeping, and I wore flannel shirts to keep the laundress’ bill down to two sous a day. The money I spent yearly on coal, divided up, cost me no more than two sous each day. I had three years’ worth of clothes, and I only got dressed when going to a library or a public lecture. All these expenses added up to just eighteen sous, which meant I had two left over for emergencies. I can’t remember, during those long years of hard work, ever crossing the Pont des Arts or paying for water; I would go out every morning to get it from the fountain in the Place Saint Michel, at the corner of the Rue de Gres. Oh, I wore my poverty with pride. A man who is driven towards a brighter future walks through life like an innocent person heading to his death; he feels no shame in it.

“I would not think of illness. Like Aquilina, I faced the hospital without terror. I had not a moment’s doubt of my health, and besides, the poor can only take to their beds to die. I cut my own hair till the day when an angel of love and kindness... But I do not want to anticipate the state of things that I shall reach later. You must simply know that I lived with one grand thought for a mistress, a dream, an illusion which deceives us all more or less at first. To-day I laugh at myself, at that self, holy perhaps and heroic, which is now no more. I have since had a closer view of society and the world, of our manners and customs, and seen the dangers of my innocent credulity and the superfluous nature of my fervent toil. Stores of that sort are quite useless to aspirants for fame. Light should be the baggage of seekers after fortune!

“I wouldn’t think about illness. Like Aquilina, I faced the hospital without fear. I had no doubts about my health, and besides, the poor can only go to bed to die. I cut my own hair until the day an angel of love and kindness... But I don’t want to jump ahead to the situation I would later find myself in. You should just know that I lived with one grand thought as my guide, a dream, an illusion that deceives us all to some extent at first. Today I laugh at myself, at that self, perhaps noble and heroic, which is now gone. I have since gained a clearer understanding of society and the world, of our behaviors and customs, and I’ve seen the risks of my naive belief and the unnecessary nature of my intense efforts. Resources like that are pretty useless to those chasing fame. Light should be the baggage of those seeking fortune!

“Ambitious men spend their youth in rendering themselves worthy of patronage; it is their great mistake. While the foolish creatures are laying in stores of knowledge and energy, so that they shall not sink under the weight of responsible posts that recede from them, schemers come and go who are wealthy in words and destitute in ideas, astonish the ignorant, and creep into the confidence of those who have a little knowledge. While the first kind study, the second march ahead; the one sort is modest, and the other impudent; the man of genius is silent about his own merits, but these schemers make a flourish of theirs, and they are bound to get on. It is so strongly to the interest of men in office to believe in ready-made capacity, and in brazen-faced merit, that it is downright childish of the learned to expect material rewards. I do not seek to paraphrase the commonplace moral, the song of songs that obscure genius is for ever singing; I want to come, in a logical manner, by the reason of the frequent successes of mediocrity. Alas! study shows us such a mother’s kindness that it would be a sin perhaps to ask any other reward of her than the pure and delightful pleasures with which she sustains her children.

“Ambitious people spend their youth trying to prove themselves worthy of support; it’s their big mistake. While the naïve among us are gathering knowledge and energy so they don’t crumble under the pressure of important roles that slip away from them, manipulators come and go who are rich in words but poor in ideas, impressing the uninformed and winning the trust of those with a bit of knowledge. While the first group studies, the second pushes forward; one group is humble, while the other is bold; a person of talent keeps quiet about their own abilities, but these schemers flaunt theirs, and they are sure to succeed. It’s in the best interest of those in power to believe in ready-made talent and shameless self-promotion, making it incredibly naïve for the educated to expect tangible rewards. I’m not trying to restate the common moral, the tune that hidden genius forever sings; I want to logically understand why mediocrity often triumphs. Sadly, study reveals such a nurturing quality that it might be wrong to ask anything more from it than the pure and delightful joys with which it nurtures its children.”

“Often I remember soaking my bread in milk, as I sat by the window to take the fresh air; while my eyes wandered over a view of roofs—brown, gray, or red, slated or tiled, and covered with yellow or green mosses. At first the prospect may have seemed monotonous, but I very soon found peculiar beauties in it. Sometimes at night, streams of light through half-closed shutters would light up and color the dark abysses of this strange landscape. Sometimes the feeble lights of the street lamps sent up yellow gleams through the fog, and in each street dimly outlined the undulations of a crowd of roofs, like billows in a motionless sea. Very occasionally, too, a face appeared in this gloomy waste; above the flowers in some skyey garden I caught a glimpse of an old woman’s crooked angular profile as she watered her nasturtiums; or, in a crazy attic window, a young girl, fancying herself quite alone as she dressed herself—a view of nothing more than a fair forehead and long tresses held above her by a pretty white arm.

“Often, I remember soaking my bread in milk while sitting by the window to enjoy the fresh air. My eyes would wander over a view of rooftops—brown, gray, or red, slanted or tiled, and covered with yellow or green moss. At first, the scene seemed a bit dull, but I quickly found unique beauties in it. Sometimes at night, beams of light through half-closed shutters would illuminate and color the dark depths of this strange landscape. Occasionally, the weak lights from the street lamps would cast yellow glows through the fog, faintly outlining the gentle curves of a crowd of roofs, like waves in a still sea. Rarely, a face would appear in this dreary expanse; above the flowers in some distant garden, I caught a glimpse of an old woman's crooked profile as she watered her nasturtiums, or through a rickety attic window, a young girl, thinking she was completely alone while getting dressed—a view that revealed only a beautiful forehead and long hair held up by a lovely white arm.”

“I liked to see the short-lived plant-life in the gutters—poor weeds that a storm soon washed away. I studied the mosses, with their colors revived by showers, or transformed by the sun into a brown velvet that fitfully caught the light. Such things as these formed my recreations—the passing poetic moods of daylight, the melancholy mists, sudden gleams of sunlight, the silence and the magic of night, the mysteries of dawn, the smoke wreaths from each chimney; every chance event, in fact, in my curious world became familiar to me. I came to love this prison of my own choosing. This level Parisian prairie of roofs, beneath which lay populous abysses, suited my humor, and harmonized with my thoughts.

“I enjoyed watching the brief plant life in the gutters—poor weeds that a storm would soon wash away. I examined the mosses, their colors brightened by rain or turned into a brown velvet that occasionally caught the light. These little things became my pastimes—the fleeting poetic moods of daylight, the melancholic mists, sudden bursts of sunlight, the stillness and magic of night, the mysteries of dawn, the wisps of smoke from each chimney; every random event in my curious world became familiar to me. I grew to love this prison I had chosen for myself. This flat Parisian landscape of roofs, beneath which lay bustling depths, matched my mood and resonated with my thoughts.

“Sudden descents into the world from the divine height of scientific meditation are very exhausting; and, besides, I had apprehended perfectly the bare life of the cloister. When I made up my mind to carry out this new plan of life, I looked for quarters in the most out-of-the-way parts of Paris. One evening, as I returned home to the Rue des Cordiers from the Place de l’Estrapade, I saw a girl of fourteen playing with a battledore at the corner of the Rue de Cluny, her winsome ways and laughter amused the neighbors. September was not yet over; it was warm and fine, so that women sat chatting before their doors as if it were a fete-day in some country town. At first I watched the charming expression of the girl’s face and her graceful attitudes, her pose fit for a painter. It was a pretty sight. I looked about me, seeking to understand this blithe simplicity in the midst of Paris, and saw that the street was a blind alley and but little frequented. I remembered that Jean Jacques had once lived here, and looked up the Hotel Saint-Quentin. Its dilapidated condition awakened hopes of a cheap lodging, and I determined to enter.

“Sudden drops into the world from the lofty heights of deep thought in science can be really exhausting; plus, I had completely grasped the bare existence of the cloister. When I decided to pursue this new lifestyle, I searched for a place to stay in the most out-of-the-way corners of Paris. One evening, as I walked home to Rue des Cordiers from Place de l’Estrapade, I saw a fourteen-year-old girl playing with a battledore at the corner of Rue de Cluny, her charming personality and laughter entertaining the neighbors. It was still September, warm and pleasant, so women were sitting outside their doors chatting as if it were a festive day in a small town. At first, I admired the delightful expression on the girl’s face and her graceful poses, fit for a painting. It was a lovely sight. I looked around, trying to understand this cheerful simplicity in the heart of Paris, and noticed that the street was a dead end and not very busy. I remembered that Jean Jacques once lived here, and I spotted the Hotel Saint-Quentin. Its run-down state sparked hopes for an affordable place to stay, and I decided to go inside.”

“I found myself in a room with a low ceiling; the candles, in classic-looking copper candle-sticks, were set in a row under each key. The predominating cleanliness of the room made a striking contrast to the usual state of such places. This one was as neat as a bit of genre; there was a charming trimness about the blue coverlet, the cooking pots and furniture. The mistress of the house rose and came to me. She seemed to be about forty years of age; sorrows had left their traces on her features, and weeping had dimmed her eyes. I deferentially mentioned the amount I could pay; it seemed to cause her no surprise; she sought out a key from the row, went up to the attics with me, and showed me a room that looked out on the neighboring roofs and courts; long poles with linen drying on them hung out of the window.

I found myself in a room with a low ceiling; the candles, in classic-looking copper candlesticks, were lined up under each key. The overall cleanliness of the room was a stark contrast to what you usually see in places like this. It was as tidy as a scene from a painting; there was a lovely neatness about the blue bedspread, the cooking pots, and the furniture. The lady of the house got up and came over to me. She looked to be around forty years old; her experiences had marked her face, and her eyes were dim from crying. I respectfully mentioned how much I could pay; she didn’t seem surprised. She picked a key from the row, took me up to the attic, and showed me a room that had a view of the nearby roofs and courtyards; long poles with laundry hanging on them stuck out of the window.

“Nothing could be uglier than this garret, awaiting its scholar, with its dingy yellow walls and odor of poverty. The roofing fell in a steep slope, and the sky was visible through chinks in the tiles. There was room for a bed, a table, and a few chairs, and beneath the highest point of the roof my piano could stand. Not being rich enough to furnish this cage (that might have been one of the Piombi of Venice), the poor woman had never been able to let it; and as I had saved from the recent sale the furniture that was in a fashion peculiarly mine, I very soon came to terms with my landlady, and moved in on the following day.

“Nothing could be uglier than this attic, waiting for its scholar, with its dingy yellow walls and the smell of poverty. The roof sloped steeply, and the sky peeked through gaps in the tiles. There was room for a bed, a table, and a few chairs, and under the highest point of the roof, my piano could fit. Not being wealthy enough to furnish this cage (that could have been one of the Piombi of Venice), the poor woman had never been able to rent it out; and since I had saved the furniture from the recent sale that had a style uniquely mine, I quickly reached an agreement with my landlady and moved in the next day.

“For three years I lived in this airy sepulchre, and worked unflaggingly day and night; and so great was the pleasure that study seemed to me the fairest theme and the happiest solution of life. The tranquillity and peace that a scholar needs is something as sweet and exhilarating as love. Unspeakable joys are showered on us by the exertion of our mental faculties; the quest of ideas, and the tranquil contemplation of knowledge; delights indescribable, because purely intellectual and impalpable to our senses. So we are obliged to use material terms to express the mysteries of the soul. The pleasure of striking out in some lonely lake of clear water, with forests, rocks, and flowers around, and the soft stirring of the warm breeze,—all this would give, to those who knew them not, a very faint idea of the exultation with which my soul bathed itself in the beams of an unknown light, hearkened to the awful and uncertain voice of inspiration, as vision upon vision poured from some unknown source through my throbbing brain.

“For three years, I lived in this airy tomb and worked tirelessly day and night; the enjoyment I found in studying made it feel like the most beautiful pursuit and the best answer to life. The calm and peace that a scholar needs is as sweet and uplifting as love. We receive indescribable joy from using our minds, seeking ideas, and quietly reflecting on knowledge; delights that are hard to put into words because they are purely intellectual and intangible to our senses. So, we have to resort to physical terms to express the mysteries of the soul. The pleasure of drifting in a serene lake surrounded by forests, rocks, and flowers, with the gentle warm breeze—this would only give those who haven't experienced it a faint idea of the exhilaration my soul felt as it soaked up an unfamiliar light, listening to the powerful and uncertain call of inspiration as visions poured from some unknown source into my racing mind.

“No earthly pleasure can compare with the divine delight of watching the dawn of an idea in the space of abstractions as it rises like the morning sun; an idea that, better still, attains gradually like a child to puberty and man’s estate. Study lends a kind of enchantment to all our surroundings. The wretched desk covered with brown leather at which I wrote, my piano, bed, and armchair, the odd wall-paper and furniture seemed to have for me a kind of life in them, and to be humble friends of mine and mute partakers of my destiny. How often have I confided my soul to them in a glance! A warped bit of beading often met my eyes, and suggested new developments,—a striking proof of my system, or a felicitous word by which to render my all but inexpressible thought. By sheer contemplation of the things about me I discerned an expression and a character in each. If the setting sun happened to steal in through my narrow window, they would take new colors, fade or shine, grow dull or gay, and always amaze me with some new effect. These trifling incidents of a solitary life, which escape those preoccupied with outward affairs, make the solace of prisoners. And what was I but the captive of an idea, imprisoned in my system, but sustained also by the prospect of a brilliant future? At each obstacle that I overcame, I seemed to kiss the soft hands of a woman with a fair face, a wealthy, well-dressed woman, who should some day say softly, while she caressed my hair:

“No earthly pleasure can compare to the divine joy of witnessing the birth of an idea in the realm of abstract thought as it rises like the morning sun; an idea that gradually grows, like a child reaching maturity. Studying brings a certain magic to everything around me. The worn desk covered in brown leather where I write, my piano, bed, and armchair, the quirky wallpaper and furniture all seem to come alive, as if they are humble friends sharing my fate. How often have I shared my thoughts with them in a glance! A crooked piece of trim would catch my eye, hinting at new developments—a clear sign of my process, or the perfect word to express my nearly inexpressible thoughts. Just by observing the objects around me, I could see an expression and personality in each one. If the setting sun happened to stream through my narrow window, they would change colors, dim or brighten, and constantly amaze me with new effects. These small moments in a solitary life, unnoticed by those caught up in external matters, provide comfort to prisoners. And what was I but a captive of an idea, trapped in my own system yet buoyed by the hope of a brilliant future? With every challenge I overcame, it felt like I was kissing the soft hands of a beautiful, well-dressed woman who might someday say tenderly while stroking my hair:

“‘Poor Angel, how thou hast suffered!’

“‘Poor Angel, how you have suffered!’”

“I had undertaken two great works—one a comedy that in a very short time must bring me wealth and fame, and an entry into those circles whither I wished to return, to exercise the royal privileges of a man of genius. You all saw nothing in that masterpiece but the blunder of a young man fresh from college, a babyish fiasco. Your jokes clipped the wings of a throng of illusions, which have never stirred since within me. You, dear Emile, alone brought soothing to the deep wounds that others had made in my heart. You alone will admire my ‘Theory of the Will.’ I devoted most of my time to that long work, for which I studied Oriental languages, physiology and anatomy. If I do not deceive myself, my labors will complete the task begun by Mesmer, Lavater, Gall, and Bichat, and open up new paths in science.

“I had taken on two big projects—one was a comedy that, in no time, should bring me wealth and fame, and a chance to re-enter the circles I longed to return to, where I could enjoy the benefits of being a creative genius. You all saw nothing in that masterpiece but the mistakes of a young man just out of college, a childish failure. Your jokes cut down the hopes and dreams I had, which have never come alive in me since. You, dear Emile, were the only one who brought comfort to the deep wounds others had left in my heart. You alone will appreciate my ‘Theory of the Will.’ I dedicated most of my time to that lengthy work, for which I studied Eastern languages, physiology, and anatomy. If I'm not mistaken, my efforts will build on the work started by Mesmer, Lavater, Gall, and Bichat, and pave new ways in science.”

“There ends that fair life of mine, the daily sacrifice, the unrecognized silkworm’s toil, that is, perhaps, its own sole recompense. Since attaining years of discretion, until the day when I finished my ‘Theory,’ I observed, learned, wrote, and read unintermittingly; my life was one long imposition, as schoolboys say. Though by nature effeminately attached to Oriental indolence, sensual in tastes, and a wooer of dreams, I worked incessantly, and refused to taste any of the enjoyments of Parisian life. Though a glutton, I became abstemious; and loving exercise and sea voyages as I did, and haunted by the wish to visit many countries, still child enough to play at ducks and drakes with pebbles over a pond, I led a sedentary life with a pen in my fingers. I liked talking, but I went to sit and mutely listen to professors who gave public lectures at the Bibliotheque or the Museum. I slept upon my solitary pallet like a Benedictine brother, though woman was my one chimera, a chimera that fled from me as I wooed it! In short, my life has been a cruel contradiction, a perpetual cheat. After that, judge a man!

"There ends that beautiful life of mine, the daily sacrifice, the unacknowledged silkworm’s labor, which perhaps is its only reward. Since reaching adulthood, up until the day I finished my ‘Theory,’ I observed, learned, wrote, and read without pause; my life was one long assignment, as schoolboys would say. Though I was naturally drawn to the laziness of the East, indulgent in my tastes, and a dreamer, I worked tirelessly and refused to indulge in the pleasures of Parisian life. Though I had a craving for excess, I became disciplined; and even though I loved exercise and sea trips, and longed to visit many places, still playful enough to skip stones over a pond, I lived a sedentary life with a pen in my hand. I enjoyed conversation, yet I often sat silently listening to professors who gave public lectures at the Bibliotheque or the Museum. I slept on my lonely mattress like a monk, even though women were my only fantasy, a fantasy that escaped me as I pursued it! In short, my life has been a painful contradiction, a constant deception. So, judge a man after that!"

“Sometimes my natural propensities broke out like a fire long smothered. I was debarred from the women whose society I desired, stripped of everything and lodged in an artist’s garret, and by a sort of mirage or calenture I was surrounded by captivating mistresses. I drove through the streets of Paris, lolling on the soft cushions of a fine equipage. I plunged into dissipation, into corroding vice, I desired and possessed everything, for fasting had made me light-headed like the tempted Saint Anthony. Slumber, happily, would put an end at last to these devastating trances; and on the morrow science would beckon me, smiling, and I was faithful to her. I imagine that women reputed virtuous, must often fall a prey to these insane tempests of desire and passion, which rise in us in spite of ourselves. Such dreams have a charm of their own; they are something akin to evening gossip round the winter fire, when one sets out for some voyage in China. But what becomes of virtue during these delicious excursions, when fancy overleaps all difficulties?

“Sometimes my natural instincts erupted like a fire long hidden. I was cut off from the women whose company I craved, stripped of everything and stuck in an artist’s attic, and in a kind of mirage or fever dream, I was surrounded by enchanting partners. I cruised through the streets of Paris, lounging on the soft cushions of a fancy carriage. I dove into excess, into destructive vice; I wanted and had everything, for my fasting had made me delusional like the tempted Saint Anthony. Sleep, thankfully, would eventually end these overwhelming trances; and the next day science would call to me, smiling, and I stayed true to her. I imagine that women considered virtuous must often fall victim to these wild storms of desire and passion that rise within us against our will. Such dreams have their own allure; they are something like evening gossip around the winter fire when one sets out for some journey to China. But what happens to virtue during these tempting excursions, when imagination overcomes all obstacles?

“During the first ten months of seclusion I led the life of poverty and solitude that I have described to you; I used to steal out unobserved every morning to buy my own provisions for the day; I tidied my room; I was at once master and servant, and played the Diogenes with incredible spirit. But afterwards, while my hostess and her daughter watched my ways and behavior, scrutinized my appearance and divined my poverty, there could not but be some bonds between us; perhaps because they were themselves so very poor. Pauline, the charming child, whose latent and unconscious grace had, in a manner, brought me there, did me many services that I could not well refuse. All women fallen on evil days are sisters; they speak a common language; they have the same generosity—the generosity that possesses nothing, and so is lavish of its affection, of its time, and of its very self.

“During the first ten months of isolation, I lived a life of poverty and solitude that I’ve mentioned before; I would sneak out every morning to buy my own groceries for the day; I cleaned my room; I was both the master and the servant, embracing the role of Diogenes with remarkable energy. However, later on, as my hostess and her daughter observed my habits and behavior, examined my appearance, and guessed at my poverty, there naturally formed some bonds between us—perhaps because they themselves were quite poor. Pauline, the lovely girl whose hidden and instinctive charm had, in a way, drawn me there, did many favors for me that I couldn’t easily decline. All women who’ve fallen on tough times are like sisters; they share a common language; they possess the same kind of generosity—the kind that has nothing, so it freely gives its affection, time, and very self.”

“Imperceptibly Pauline took me under her protection, and would do things for me. No kind of objection was made by her mother, whom I even surprised mending my linen; she blushed for the charitable occupation. In spite of myself, they took charge of me, and I accepted their services.

“Without me realizing it, Pauline took me under her wing and started doing things for me. Her mother didn’t object at all; in fact, I even caught her stitching up my clothes, and she blushed at the thought of helping out. Despite my resistance, they looked after me, and I accepted their help.”

“In order to understand the peculiar condition of my mind, my preoccupation with work must be remembered, the tyranny of ideas, and the instinctive repugnance that a man who leads an intellectual life must ever feel for the material details of existence. Could I well repulse the delicate attentions of Pauline, who would noiselessly bring me my frugal repast, when she noticed that I had taken nothing for seven or eight hours? She had the tact of a woman and the inventiveness of a child; she would smile as she made sign to me that I must not see her. Ariel glided under my roof in the form of a sylph who foresaw every want of mine.

“To understand the unique state of my mind, you have to consider my obsession with work, the overwhelming nature of ideas, and the instinctive aversion that someone who lives an intellectual life feels towards the everyday details of existence. How could I turn away the thoughtful gestures of Pauline, who quietly brought me my simple meals when she saw that I hadn’t eaten anything for seven or eight hours? She had the sensitivity of a woman and the creativity of a child; she would smile and gesture to me that I shouldn’t acknowledge her. Ariel moved through my home like a graceful spirit who anticipated all my needs.”

“One evening Pauline told me her story with touching simplicity. Her father had been a major in the horse grenadiers of the Imperial Guard. He had been taken prisoner by the Cossacks, at the passage of Beresina; and when Napoleon later on proposed an exchange, the Russian authorities made search for him in Siberia in vain; he had escaped with a view of reaching India, and since then Mme. Gaudin, my landlady, could hear no news of her husband. Then came the disasters of 1814 and 1815; and, left alone and without resource, she had decided to let furnished lodgings in order to keep herself and her daughter.

“One evening, Pauline shared her story with a touching simplicity. Her father had been a major in the horse grenadiers of the Imperial Guard. He was captured by the Cossacks during the crossing of the Beresina; and when Napoleon later suggested a prisoner exchange, the Russian authorities searched for him in Siberia, but in vain; he had escaped with the intent of reaching India, and since then, Mme. Gaudin, my landlady, had not heard any news of her husband. Then came the disasters of 1814 and 1815; left alone and without resources, she decided to rent out furnished rooms to support herself and her daughter.”

“She always hoped to see her husband again. Her greatest trouble was about her daughter’s education; the Princess Borghese was her Pauline’s godmother; and Pauline must not be unworthy of the fair future promised by her imperial protectress. When Mme. Gaudin confided to me this heavy trouble that preyed upon her, she said, with sharp pain in her voice, ‘I would give up the property and the scrap of paper that makes Gaudin a baron of the empire, and all our rights to the endowment of Wistchnau, if only Pauline could be brought up at Saint-Denis?’ Her words struck me; now I could show my gratitude for the kindnesses expended on me by the two women; all at once the idea of offering to finish Pauline’s education occurred to me; and the offer was made and accepted in the most perfect simplicity. In this way I came to have some hours of recreation. Pauline had natural aptitude; she learned so quickly, that she soon surpassed me at the piano. As she became accustomed to think aloud in my presence, she unfolded all the sweet refinements of a heart that was opening itself out to life, as some flower-cup opens slowly to the sun. She listened to me, pleased and thoughtful, letting her dark velvet eyes rest upon me with a half smile in them; she repeated her lessons in soft and gentle tones, and showed childish glee when I was satisfied with her. Her mother grew more and more anxious every day to shield the young girl from every danger (for all the beauty promised in early life was developing in the crescent moon), and was glad to see her spend whole days indoors in study. My piano was the only one she could use, and while I was out she practised on it. When I came home, Pauline would be in my room, in her shabby dress, but her slightest movement revealed her slender figure in its attractive grace, in spite of the coarse materials that she wore. As with the heroine of the fable of ‘Peau-d’Ane,’ a dainty foot peeped out of the clumsy shoes. But all her wealth of girlish beauty was as lost upon me. I had laid commands upon myself to see a sister only in Pauline. I dreaded lest I should betray her mother’s faith in me. I admired the lovely girl as if she had been a picture, or as the portrait of a dead mistress; she was at once my child and my statue. For me, another Pygmalion, the maiden with the hues of life and the living voice was to become a form of inanimate marble. I was very strict with her, but the more I made her feel my pedagogue’s severity, the more gentle and submissive she grew.

“She always hoped to see her husband again. Her biggest concern was her daughter’s education; Princess Borghese was Pauline’s godmother, and Pauline must not disappoint the bright future promised by her imperial protector. When Mme. Gaudin shared with me this heavy burden that weighed on her, she said, with pain in her voice, ‘I would give up the property and the piece of paper that makes Gaudin a baron of the empire, and all our rights to the endowment of Wistchnau, if only Pauline could be raised at Saint-Denis?’ Her words struck me; now I could show my gratitude for the kindnesses given to me by the two women; suddenly, the idea of offering to finish Pauline’s education came to me, and the offer was made and accepted in the simplest way. This is how I gained some hours of leisure. Pauline had a natural talent; she learned so quickly that she soon surpassed me at the piano. As she became comfortable thinking out loud in my presence, she revealed all the sweet subtleties of a heart that was opening up to life, like a flower slowly blooming in the sun. She listened to me, pleased and thoughtful, letting her dark velvet eyes rest on me with a half-smile; she repeated her lessons in soft, gentle tones and showed childlike joy when I was pleased with her. Every day her mother grew more anxious to protect the young girl from any danger (for all the beauty promised in her early life was developing like a crescent moon) and was glad to see her spending whole days indoors studying. My piano was the only one she could use, and while I was out, she practiced on it. When I came home, Pauline would be in my room, in her worn dress, but her slightest movement revealed her slender figure in its charming grace, despite the rough materials she wore. Like the heroine from the fable of 'Peau-d’Ane,' a delicate foot peeked out from the clumsy shoes. But all her wealth of youthful beauty was lost on me. I had vowed to see Pauline only as a sister. I feared that I might betray her mother’s trust in me. I admired the lovely girl as if she were a painting or the portrait of a deceased lover; she was both my child and my sculpture. For me, another Pygmalion, the girl with vibrant colors and a living voice would become a figure of lifeless marble. I was very strict with her, but the more I enforced my teaching discipline, the more gentle and obedient she became.”

“If a generous feeling strengthened me in my reserve and self-restraint, prudent considerations were not lacking beside. Integrity of purpose cannot, I think, fail to accompany integrity in money matters. To my mind, to become insolvent or to betray a woman is the same sort of thing. If you love a young girl, or allow yourself to be beloved by her, a contract is implied, and its conditions should be thoroughly understood. We are free to break with the woman who sells herself, but not with the young girl who has given herself to us and does not know the extent of her sacrifice. I must have married Pauline, and that would have been madness. Would it not have given over that sweet girlish heart to terrible misfortunes? My poverty made its selfish voice heard, and set an iron barrier between that gentle nature and mine. Besides, I am ashamed to say, that I cannot imagine love in the midst of poverty. Perhaps this is a vitiation due to that malady of mankind called civilization; but a woman in squalid poverty would exert no fascination over me, were she attractive as Homer’s Galatea, the fair Helen.

“If a generous feeling helped me be more reserved and self-restrained, I also had practical thoughts in mind. I believe that a strong purpose goes hand in hand with honesty in financial matters. To me, becoming bankrupt or betraying a woman are essentially the same thing. If you love a young girl or let her love you, there’s an implied agreement, and both parties should understand its terms clearly. We have the option to walk away from someone who chooses to sell herself, but we can't just leave a young girl who has given herself to us without realizing the depth of her sacrifice. I should have married Pauline, and that would have been insane. Wouldn’t it have doomed that sweet, innocent heart to terrible hardships? My poverty raised its selfish voice, creating a harsh divide between her gentle spirit and mine. Furthermore, I’m ashamed to admit that I can’t picture love in the midst of poverty. Maybe this is a corruption caused by the human condition known as civilization, but a woman living in dire poverty wouldn’t captivate me, even if she were as stunning as Homer’s Galatea or the beautiful Helen.”

“Ah, vive l’amour! But let it be in silk and cashmere, surrounded with the luxury which so marvelously embellishes it; for is it not perhaps itself a luxury? I enjoy making havoc with an elaborate erection of scented hair; I like to crush flowers, to disarrange and crease a smart toilette at will. A bizarre attraction lies for me in burning eyes that blaze through a lace veil, like flame through cannon smoke. My way of love would be to mount by a silken ladder, in the silence of a winter night. And what bliss to reach, all powdered with snow, a perfumed room, with hangings of painted silk, to find a woman there, who likewise shakes away the snow from her; for what other name can be found for the white muslin wrappings that vaguely define her, like some angel form issuing from a cloud! And then I wish for furtive joys, for the security of audacity. I want to see once more that woman of mystery, but let it be in the throng, dazzling, unapproachable, adored on all sides, dressed in laces and ablaze with diamonds, laying her commands upon every one; so exalted above us, that she inspires awe, and none dares to pay his homage to her.

“Ah, vive l’amour! But let it be in silk and cashmere, surrounded by the luxury that beautifully enhances it; for is it not perhaps a luxury in itself? I love wreaking havoc with an elaborate display of scented hair; I enjoy crushing flowers, messing up and creasing a stylish outfit whenever I want. There's a strange attraction for me in burning eyes that shine through a lace veil, like flames through cannon smoke. My way of love would be to climb a silken ladder in the quiet of a winter night. And what bliss it would be to arrive, all dusted with snow, in a fragrant room with painted silk drapes, to find a woman there, who also brushes the snow from herself; for what other name can describe the white muslin wraps that vaguely outline her, like an angel emerging from a cloud! And then I long for secret pleasures, for the safety of boldness. I want to see that mysterious woman once more, but let it be in a crowd, dazzling, untouchable, adored by everyone, dressed in lace and sparkling with diamonds, commanding everyone; so elevated above us, that she inspires awe, and no one dares to pay their respects to her.”

“She gives me a stolen glance, amid her court, a look that exposes the unreality of all this; that resigns for me the world and all men in it! Truly I have scorned myself for a passion for a few yards of lace, velvet, and fine lawn, and the hairdresser’s feats of skill; a love of wax-lights, a carriage and a title, a heraldic coronet painted on window panes, or engraved by a jeweler; in short, a liking for all that is adventitious and least woman in woman. I have scorned and reasoned with myself, but all in vain.

“She gives me a quick glance, surrounded by her entourage, a look that reveals how fake all of this is; that makes me surrender the world and all the men in it! Honestly, I’ve looked down on myself for being obsessed with a few yards of lace, velvet, and fine fabric, and the hairdresser's skills; a fascination with candles, a fancy carriage, and a title, a coat of arms painted on windows or engraved by a jeweler; in short, an attraction to everything superficial and the least authentic in a woman. I’ve criticized myself and tried to reason, but it's all been pointless.”

“A woman of rank with her subtle smile, her high-born air, and self-esteem captivates me. The barriers she erects between herself and the world awaken my vanity, a good half of love. There would be more relish for me in bliss that all others envied. If my mistress does nothing that other women do, and neither lives nor conducts herself like them, wears a cloak that they cannot attain, breathes a perfume of her own, then she seems to rise far above me. The further she rises from earth, even in the earthlier aspects of love, the fairer she becomes for me.

A woman of status with her subtle smile, her aristocratic vibe, and confidence captures my attention. The walls she builds between herself and the rest of the world stir my vanity, which is a big part of love. I would enjoy our happiness even more if everyone else envied it. If my lover does things that no other women do, and lives or behaves differently, wears an unattainable cloak, and exudes her own unique scent, then she feels like she’s elevated far above me. The higher she seems, even in the more down-to-earth aspects of love, the more attractive she becomes to me.

“Luckily for me we have had no queen in France these twenty years, for I should have fallen in love with her. A woman must be wealthy to acquire the manners of a princess. What place had Pauline among these far-fetched imaginings? Could she bring me the love that is death, that brings every faculty into play, the nights that are paid for by life? We hardly die, I think, for an insignificant girl who gives herself to us; and I could never extinguish these feelings and poet’s dreams within me. I was born for an inaccessible love, and fortune has overtopped my desire.

“Fortunately for me, we haven't had a queen in France for the past twenty years, or I would have fallen in love with her. A woman needs to be wealthy to have the grace of a princess. What role did Pauline play in all these far-fetched fantasies? Could she give me the kind of love that feels like death, that engages every part of me, the nights that are bought with life? I doubt we really die for some ordinary girl who gives herself to us; I could never drown out these feelings and poetic dreams inside me. I was meant for an unattainable love, and fate has exceeded my desire.

“How often have I set satin shoes on Pauline’s tiny feet, confined her form, slender as a young poplar, in a robe of gauze, and thrown a loose scarf about her as I saw her tread the carpets in her mansion and led her out to her splendid carriage! In such guise I should have adored her. I endowed her with all the pride she lacked, stripped her of her virtues, her natural simple charm, and frank smile, in order to plunge her heart in our Styx of depravity that makes invulnerable, load her with our crimes, make of her the fantastical doll of our drawing-rooms, the frail being who lies about in the morning and comes to life again at night with the dawn of tapers. Pauline was fresh-hearted and affectionate—I would have had her cold and formal.

“How often have I put satin shoes on Pauline’s tiny feet, wrapped her slim form, delicate as a young poplar, in a gauzy dress, and draped a loose scarf around her as I watched her walk on the carpets of her mansion and led her to her beautiful carriage! In that state, I would have adored her. I gave her all the pride she didn’t have, stripped away her virtues, her natural simple charm, and open smile, just to drown her heart in our Styx of depravity that makes one invulnerable, burden her with our sins, and turn her into the fantastical doll of our drawing-rooms, the fragile being who lies around in the morning and springs to life again at night with the lighting of candles. Pauline was fresh-hearted and loving—I would have preferred her to be cold and distant.”

“In the last days of my frantic folly, memory brought Pauline before me, as it brings the scenes of our childhood, and made me pause to muse over past delicious moments that softened my heart. I sometimes saw her, the adorable girl who sat quietly sewing at my table, wrapped in her meditations; the faint light from my window fell upon her and was reflected back in silvery rays from her thick black hair; sometimes I heard her young laughter, or the rich tones of her voice singing some canzonet that she composed without effort. And often my Pauline seemed to grow greater, as music flowed from her, and her face bore a striking resemblance to the noble one that Carlo Dolci chose for the type of Italy. My cruel memory brought her back athwart the dissipations of my existence, like a remorse, or a symbol of purity. But let us leave the poor child to her own fate. Whatever her troubles may have been, at any rate I protected her from a menacing tempest—I did not drag her down into my hell.

“In the final days of my chaotic madness, memories brought Pauline to mind, just like it does with scenes from our childhood, and made me stop to reflect on past joyful moments that warmed my heart. I sometimes pictured her, the lovely girl who sat quietly sewing at my table, lost in her thoughts; the soft light from my window shone on her and bounced back in silvery glimmers from her thick black hair; sometimes I could hear her youthful laughter or the rich sounds of her voice singing a little song she effortlessly created. And often my Pauline seemed to become more radiant as music flowed from her, and her face was strikingly similar to the noble image that Carlo Dolci depicted as the essence of Italy. My harsh memory dragged her back through the distractions of my life, like a regret, or a symbol of innocence. But let's leave the poor girl to her own destiny. Whatever her struggles might have been, at least I kept her safe from a looming storm—I didn’t pull her down into my despair."

“Until last winter I led the uneventful studious life of which I have given you some faint picture. In the earliest days of December 1829, I came across Rastignac, who, in spite of the shabby condition of my wardrobe, linked his arm in mine, and inquired into my affairs with a quite brotherly interest. Caught by his engaging manner, I gave him a brief account of my life and hopes; he began to laugh, and treated me as a mixture of a man of genius and a fool. His Gascon accent and knowledge of the world, the easy life his clever management procured for him, all produced an irresistible effect upon me. I should die an unrecognized failure in a hospital, Rastignac said, and be buried in a pauper’s grave. He talked of charlatanism. Every man of genius was a charlatan, he plainly showed me in that pleasant way of his that makes him so fascinating. He insisted that I must be out of my senses, and would be my own death, if I lived on alone in the Rue des Cordiers. According to him, I ought to go into society, to accustom people to the sound of my name, and to rid myself of the simple title of ‘monsieur’ which sits but ill on a great man in his lifetime.

“Until last winter, I lived a quiet, studious life, which I’ve given you a little glimpse of. In early December 1829, I ran into Rastignac, who, despite my worn-out clothes, hooked his arm through mine and showed genuine brotherly concern for my situation. His charming personality caught my attention, and I briefly shared my life and dreams with him. He laughed and viewed me as a mix of a genius and a fool. His Gascon accent, worldly knowledge, and the comfortable life his cleverness provided made a strong impression on me. Rastignac said I’d die unnoticed in a hospital and end up in a poor person’s grave. He spoke about charlatanism, making it clear in his engaging style that every genius was a charlatan. He insisted I must be out of my mind and would be my own downfall if I stayed isolated in the Rue des Cordiers. According to him, I needed to socialize, get people accustomed to my name, and shake off the simple title of ‘monsieur,’ which doesn’t suit a great man in his lifetime.”

“‘Those who know no better,’ he cried, ‘call this sort of business scheming, and moral people condemn it for a “dissipated life.” We need not stop to look at what people think, but see the results. You work, you say? Very good, but nothing will ever come of that. Now, I am ready for anything and fit for nothing. As lazy as a lobster? Very likely, but I succeed everywhere. I go out into society, I push myself forward, the others make way before me; I brag and am believed; I incur debts which somebody else pays! Dissipation, dear boy, is a methodical policy. The life of a man who deliberately runs through his fortune often becomes a business speculation; his friends, his pleasures, patrons, and acquaintances are his capital. Suppose a merchant runs a risk of a million, for twenty years he can neither sleep, eat, nor amuse himself, he is brooding over his million, it makes him run about all over Europe; he worries himself, goes to the devil in every way that man has invented. Then comes a liquidation, such as I have seen myself, which very often leaves him penniless and without a reputation or a friend. The spendthrift, on the other hand, takes life as a serious game and sees his horses run. He loses his capital, perhaps, but he stands a chance of being nominated Receiver-General, of making a wealthy marriage, or of an appointment of attache to a minister or ambassador; and he has his friends left and his name, and he never wants money. He knows the standing of everybody, and uses every one for his own benefit. Is this logical, or am I a madman after all? Haven’t you there all the moral of the comedy that goes on every day in this world?... Your work is completed’ he went on after a pause; ‘you are immensely clever! Well, you have only arrived at my starting-point. Now, you had better look after its success yourself; it is the surest way. You will make allies in every clique, and secure applause beforehand. I mean to go halves in your glory myself; I shall be the jeweler who set the diamonds in your crown. Come here to-morrow evening, by way of a beginning. I will introduce you to a house where all Paris goes, all OUR Paris, that is—the Paris of exquisites, millionaires, celebrities, all the folk who talk gold like Chrysostom. When they have taken up a book, that book becomes the fashion; and if it is something really good for once, they will have declared it to be a work of genius without knowing it. If you have any sense, my dear fellow, you will ensure the success of your “Theory,” by a better understanding of the theory of success. To-morrow evening you shall go to see that queen of the moment—the beautiful Countess Foedora....’

“‘Those who don’t know any better,’ he exclaimed, ‘call this kind of thing scheming, and decent people criticize it for being a “wasteful life.” We don’t need to concern ourselves with what others think, but rather focus on the outcomes. You work, you say? Great, but you won’t get anywhere with that. Now, I’m ready for anything but fit for nothing. As lazy as a lobster? Probably, but I succeed everywhere. I go out in public, I put myself out there, and people step aside for me; I brag, and people believe me; I rack up debts that someone else pays off! Wasting money, my friend, is a calculated strategy. The life of a man who purposefully spends through his fortune often turns into a business venture; his friends, his pleasures, patrons, and acquaintances are his assets. Imagine a merchant risking a million—he can’t sleep, eat, or have fun for twenty years, obsessing over his million, traveling all over Europe; he stresses himself out, falling into every trap people have created. Then comes a bankruptcy, like I’ve witnessed, that often leaves him broke, without a reputation or friends. The spendthrift, on the other hand, treats life like a serious game and watches his fortunes. He might lose his wealth, but he stands a chance of being appointed Receiver-General, marrying wealthy, or getting a position as an attaché to a minister or ambassador; and he retains his friends and name, never needing money. He knows everyone's status and uses each person for his own gain. Is this logical, or am I just insane after all? Isn’t this the moral of the everyday comedy we see in the world?... Your work is done,’ he continued after a pause; ‘you’re incredibly clever! Well, you’ve only reached my starting point. Now, you should take care of your success yourself; it’s the safest route. You’ll make allies in every circle and earn praise in advance. I plan to share in your glory myself; I’ll be the jeweler who sets the diamonds in your crown. Come here tomorrow evening, as a start. I’ll introduce you to a place where all of Paris congregates, our Paris, that is—the Paris of the elite, millionaires, celebrities, all the people who talk about money like it’s nothing. When they pick up a book, that book becomes trendy; and if it’s something genuinely good for once, they’ll declare it a genius work without even realizing it. If you’re smart, my dear fellow, you’ll ensure the success of your “Theory” by better understanding the theory of success. Tomorrow night, you’ll meet that queen of the moment—the beautiful Countess Foedora....’

“‘I have never heard of her....’

"I've never heard of her..."

“‘You Hottentot!’ laughed Rastignac; ‘you do not know Foedora? A great match with an income of nearly eighty thousand livres, who has taken a fancy to nobody, or else no one has taken a fancy to her. A sort of feminine enigma, a half Russian Parisienne, or a half Parisian Russian. All the romantic productions that never get published are brought out at her house; she is the handsomest woman in Paris, and the most gracious! You are not even a Hottentot; you are something between the Hottentot and the beast.... Good-bye till to-morrow.’

“‘You Hottentot!’ laughed Rastignac; ‘you don’t know Foedora? She’s a great match with an income of nearly eighty thousand livres, who hasn’t taken a liking to anyone, or maybe no one has taken a liking to her. She’s a kind of feminine mystery, half Russian Parisian, or half Parisian Russian. All the romantic stuff that never gets published is showcased at her place; she’s the most beautiful woman in Paris and the most charming! You’re not even a Hottentot; you’re something between a Hottentot and a beast.... See you tomorrow.’”

“He swung round on his heel and made off without waiting for my answer. It never occurred to him that a reasoning being could refuse an introduction to Foedora. How can the fascination of a name be explained? FOEDORA haunted me like some evil thought, with which you seek to come to terms. A voice said in me, ‘You are going to see Foedora!’ In vain I reasoned with that voice, saying that it lied to me; all my arguments were defeated by the name ‘Foedora.’ Was not the name, and even the woman herself, the symbol of all my desires, and the object of my life?

He turned on his heel and walked away without waiting for my response. It never crossed his mind that a thinking person could decline an introduction to Foedora. How can the allure of a name be explained? FOEDORA lingered in my thoughts like a troubling idea that I was trying to reconcile. A voice inside me said, ‘You are about to meet Foedora!’ I tried in vain to reason with that voice, insisting that it was lying; all my arguments fell short against the name ‘Foedora.’ Wasn’t the name, and even the woman herself, the embodiment of all my desires and the focus of my life?

“The name called up recollections of the conventional glitter of the world, the upper world of Paris with its brilliant fetes and the tinsel of its vanities. The woman brought before me all the problems of passion on which my mind continually ran. Perhaps it was neither the woman nor the name, but my own propensities, that sprang up within me and tempted me afresh. Here was the Countess Foedora, rich and loveless, proof against the temptations of Paris; was not this woman the very incarnation of my hopes and visions? I fashioned her for myself, drew her in fancy, and dreamed of her. I could not sleep that night; I became her lover; I overbrimmed a few hours with a whole lifetime—a lover’s lifetime; the experience of its prolific delights burned me.

The name brought back memories of the typical glamour of the world, the high society of Paris with its exciting parties and the superficiality of its vanities. The woman made me think of all the issues of love that I was always contemplating. Maybe it wasn’t just the woman or the name, but my own desires that surfaced and tempted me again. Here was Countess Foedora, wealthy and without love, immune to the seductions of Paris; wasn’t she the perfect representation of my dreams and ideals? I created her in my mind, imagined her, and fantasized about her. I couldn’t sleep that night; I became her lover; I filled a few hours with an entire lifetime—a lover’s lifetime; the intensity of its abundant pleasures consumed me.

“The next day I could not bear the tortures of delay; I borrowed a novel, and spent the whole day over it, so that I could not possibly think nor keep account of the time till night. Foedora’s name echoed through me even as I read, but only as a distant sound; though it could be heard, it was not troublesome. Fortunately, I owned a fairly creditable black coat and a white waistcoat; of all my fortune there now remained abut thirty francs, which I had distributed about among my clothes and in my drawers, so as to erect between my whims and the spending of a five-franc piece a thorny barrier of search, and an adventurous peregrination round my room. While I as dressing, I dived about for my money in an ocean of papers. This scarcity of specie will give you some idea of the value of that squandered upon gloves and cab-hire; a month’s bread disappeared at one fell swoop. Alas! money is always forthcoming for our caprices; we only grudge the cost of things that are useful or necessary. We recklessly fling gold to an opera-dancer, and haggle with a tradesman whose hungry family must wait for the settlement of our bill. How many men are there that wear a coat that cost a hundred francs, and carry a diamond in the head of their cane, and dine for twenty-five SOUS for all that! It seems as though we could never pay enough for the pleasures of vanity.

The next day, I couldn’t stand the agony of waiting any longer; I borrowed a novel and spent the entire day reading it, completely losing track of time until night fell. Foedora’s name echoed in my mind as I read, but it was just a distant sound—not bothersome at all. Luckily, I had a pretty decent black coat and a white waistcoat. Out of all my money, I now had about thirty francs left, which I had scattered among my clothes and drawers, creating a frustrating barrier to spending any of it quickly. While I was getting dressed, I rummaged through a sea of papers to find my cash. This shortage of funds gives you an idea of how much I wasted on gloves and cab rides; a month’s worth of food disappeared in an instant. Sadly, we always seem to have money for our whims; it’s the cost of things that are useful or necessary that we hesitate to pay. We throw gold at an opera dancer without a second thought, yet we haggle with shopkeepers whose starving families are waiting for us to pay our bills. So many men wear coats that cost a hundred francs and sport diamonds in their canes while eating dinner for just twenty-five sous! It seems like we can never spend enough to feed our vanity.

“Rastignac, punctual to his appointment, smiled at the transformation, and joked about it. On the way he gave me benevolent advice as to my conduct with the countess; he described her as mean, vain, and suspicious; but though mean, she was ostentatious, her vanity was transparent, and her mistrust good-humored.

“Rastignac, right on time for his meeting, smiled at the change and made a joke about it. On the way, he offered me friendly advice on how to handle the countess; he painted her as petty, vain, and distrustful; but even though she was petty, she was flashy, her vanity was obvious, and her mistrust was light-hearted.”

“‘You know I am pledged,’ he said, ‘and what I should lose, too, if I tried a change in love. So my observation of Foedora has been quite cool and disinterested, and my remarks must have some truth in them. I was looking to your future when I thought of introducing you to her; so mind very carefully what I am about to say. She has a terrible memory. She is clever enough to drive a diplomatist wild; she would know it at once if he spoke the truth. Between ourselves, I fancy that her marriage was not recognized by the Emperor, for the Russian ambassador began to smile when I spoke of her; he does not receive her either, and only bows very coolly if he meets her in the Bois. For all that, she is in Madame de Serizy’s set, and visits Mesdames de Nucingen and de Restaud. There is no cloud over her here in France; the Duchesse de Carigliano, the most-strait-laced marechale in the whole Bonapartist coterie, often goes to spend the summer with her at her country house. Plenty of young fops, sons of peers of France, have offered her a title in exchange for her fortune, and she has politely declined them all. Her susceptibilities, maybe, are not to be touched by anything less than a count. Aren’t you a marquis? Go ahead if you fancy her. This is what you may call receiving your instructions.’

"You know I'm committed," he said, "and I would risk a lot if I tried to change my feelings about love. So, my observations of Foedora have been pretty objective, and my comments must have some truth to them. I was thinking of your future when I considered introducing you to her; so pay close attention to what I'm about to say. She has an awful memory. She's clever enough to drive a diplomat crazy; she would immediately know if he were telling the truth. Just between us, I suspect her marriage wasn’t acknowledged by the Emperor because the Russian ambassador started smiling when I mentioned her; he doesn’t acknowledge her either, and only gives a casual nod if he runs into her in the park. Still, she moves in Madame de Serizy’s circle and visits Mesdames de Nucingen and de Restaud. There’s no scandal surrounding her here in France; the Duchesse de Carigliano, the most prim and proper marechale in the entire Bonapartist group, often spends her summers at Foedora's country house. Plenty of young guys, sons of French nobles, have offered her titles in exchange for her wealth, and she has politely turned them all down. Maybe her sensibilities demand something more than just a title. Aren’t you a marquis? Go for it if you're interested. Consider this your guidance."

“His raillery made me think that Rastignac wished to joke and excite my curiosity, so that I was in a paroxysm of my extemporized passion by the time that we stopped before a peristyle full of flowers. My heart beat and my color rose as we went up the great carpeted staircase, and I noticed about me all the studied refinements of English comfort; I was infatuatedly bourgeois; I forgot my origin and all my personal and family pride. Alas! I had but just left a garret, after three years of poverty, and I could not just then set the treasures there acquired above such trifles as these. Nor could I rightly estimate the worth of the vast intellectual capital which turns to riches at the moment when opportunity comes within our reach, opportunity that does not overwhelm, because study has prepared us for the struggles of public life.

“His teasing made me think that Rastignac wanted to joke around and spark my curiosity, so I was in a frenzy of my impromptu passion by the time we stopped in front of a colonnade full of flowers. My heart raced and my cheeks flushed as we climbed the grand carpeted staircase, and I noticed all the carefully designed comforts of English life around me; I was hopelessly middle-class; I forgot my background and all my personal and family pride. Unfortunately, I had just left a small attic after three years of poverty, and I couldn’t at that moment value the treasures I had learned over those years more than these minor luxuries. Nor could I properly appreciate the immense intellectual wealth that turns into opportunity when the moment arises, an opportunity that doesn’t overwhelm us, because our studies have prepared us for the challenges of public life."

“I found a woman of about twenty-two years of age; she was of average height, was dressed in white, and held a feather fire-screen in her hand; a group of men stood around her. She rose at the sight of Rastignac, and came towards us with a gracious smile and a musically-uttered compliment, prepared no doubt beforehand, for me. Our friend had spoken of me as a rising man, and his clever way of making the most of me had procured me this flattering reception. I was confused by the attention that every one paid to me; but Rastignac had luckily mentioned my modesty. I was brought in contact with scholars, men of letters, ex-ministers, and peers of France. The conversation, interrupted a while by my coming, was resumed. I took courage, feeling that I had a reputation to maintain, and without abusing my privilege, I spoke when it fell to me to speak, trying to state the questions at issue in words more or less profound, witty or trenchant, and I made a certain sensation. Rastignac was a prophet for the thousandth time in his life. As soon as the gathering was large enough to restore freedom to individuals, he took my arm, and we went round the rooms.

I found a woman who was about twenty-two years old; she was of average height, dressed in white, and held a feather fan in her hand; a group of men surrounded her. She stood up when she saw Rastignac and approached us with a warm smile and a complimentary remark, which I assumed she had prepared in advance, for me. Our friend had referred to me as a rising star, and his clever way of promoting me had earned me this flattering welcome. I felt a bit overwhelmed by all the attention I was receiving, but fortunately, Rastignac had mentioned my modesty. I was introduced to scholars, writers, former ministers, and peers of France. The conversation, which had paused for my arrival, started up again. I gathered my courage, aware that I had a reputation to uphold, and without overstepping my bounds, I spoke when it was my turn, trying to express the issues at hand in ways that were thoughtful, witty, or sharp, and I created a bit of a stir. Rastignac was right yet again. Once the group grew large enough to allow for individual interactions, he took my arm, and we moved through the rooms.

“‘Don’t look as if you were too much struck by the princess,’ he said, ‘or she will guess your object in coming to visit her.’

“‘Don’t act like you’re too impressed by the princess,’ he said, ‘or she’ll figure out why you came to visit her.’”

“The rooms were furnished in excellent taste. Each apartment had a character of its own, as in wealthy English houses; and the silken hangings, the style of the furniture, and the ornaments, even the most trifling, were all subordinated to the original idea. In a gothic boudoir the doors were concealed by tapestried curtains, and the paneling by hangings; the clock and the pattern of the carpet were made to harmonize with the gothic surroundings. The ceiling, with its carved cross-beams of brown wood, was full of charm and originality; the panels were beautifully wrought; nothing disturbed the general harmony of the scheme of decoration, not even the windows with their rich colored glass. I was surprised by the extensive knowledge of decoration that some artist had brought to bear on a little modern room, it was so pleasant and fresh, and not heavy, but subdued with its dead gold hues. It had all the vague sentiment of a German ballad; it was a retreat fit for some romance of 1827, perfumed by the exotic flowers set in their stands. Another apartment in the suite was a gilded reproduction of the Louis Quatorze period, with modern paintings on the walls in odd but pleasant contrast.

The rooms were decorated with great taste. Each apartment had its own unique style, much like the lavish homes of wealthy English families; the silk curtains, furniture design, and even the smallest ornaments all contributed to a cohesive theme. In a gothic-style boudoir, the doors were hidden behind tapestry curtains, and the paneling was covered by hangings; the clock and carpet were designed to match the gothic decor. The ceiling, featuring carved brown wooden beams, was both charming and original; the panels were beautifully crafted, and nothing disrupted the overall harmony of the decor, not even the windows with their richly colored glass. I was impressed by the artist's extensive knowledge of decoration evident in a small modern room; it felt pleasant and fresh, not heavy, but softened by its muted gold tones. It captured the vague sentiment of a German ballad; it was a perfect retreat for a romance from 1827, adorned with exotic flowers in their stands. Another room in the suite was a gilded replica of the Louis XIV period, with modern paintings on the walls that created an interesting but pleasing contrast.

“‘You would not be so badly lodged,’ was Rastignac’s slightly sarcastic comment. ‘It is captivating, isn’t it?’ he added, smiling as he sat down. Then suddenly he rose, and led me by the hand into a bedroom, where the softened light fell upon the bed under its canopy of muslin and white watered silk—a couch for a young fairy betrothed to one of the genii.

“‘You wouldn’t be so badly off,’ Rastignac commented with a hint of sarcasm. ‘It’s pretty charming, isn’t it?’ he added, smiling as he took a seat. Then, out of nowhere, he stood up and took my hand, leading me into a bedroom where the soft light illuminated the bed beneath its canopy of muslin and white watered silk—a perfect spot for a young fairy engaged to one of the genies.”

“‘Isn’t it wantonly bad taste, insolent and unbounded coquetry,’ he said, lowering his voice, ‘that allows us to see this throne of love? She gives herself to no one, and anybody may leave his card here. If I were not committed, I should like to see her at my feet all tears and submission.’

“‘Isn’t it just ridiculously bad taste, rude and completely flirtatious,’ he said, lowering his voice, ‘that lets us see this throne of love? She gives herself to no one, and anyone can leave a card here. If I weren’t otherwise engaged, I would love to see her at my feet, all tears and submission.’”

“‘Are you so certain of her virtue?’

“‘Are you really so sure about her character?’”

“‘The boldest and even the cleverest adventurers among us, acknowledge themselves defeated, and continue to be her lovers and devoted friends. Isn’t that woman a puzzle?’

“‘The bravest and smartest adventurers among us admit they’ve been beaten and still remain her lovers and loyal friends. Isn’t that woman a mystery?’”

“His words seemed to intoxicate me; I had jealous fears already of the past. I leapt for joy, and hurried back to the countess, whom I had seen in the gothic boudoir. She stopped me by a smile, made me sit beside her, and talked about my work, seeming to take the greatest interest in it, and all the more when I set forth my theories amusingly, instead of adopting the formal language of a professor for their explanation. It seemed to divert her to be told that the human will was a material force like steam; that in the moral world nothing could resist its power if a man taught himself to concentrate it, to economize it, and to project continually its fluid mass in given directions upon other souls. Such a man, I said, could modify all things relatively to man, even the peremptory laws of nature. The questions Foedora raised showed a certain keenness of intellect. I took a pleasure in deciding some of them in her favor, in order to flatter her; then I confuted her feminine reasoning with a word, and roused her curiosity by drawing her attention to an everyday matter—to sleep, a thing so apparently commonplace, that in reality is an insoluble problem for science. The countess sat in silence for a moment when I told her that our ideas were complete organic beings, existing in an invisible world, and influencing our destinies; and for witnesses I cited the opinions of Descartes, Diderot, and Napoleon, who had directed, and still directed, all the currents of the age.

“His words seemed to mesmerize me; I already had jealous fears about the past. I jumped for joy and rushed back to the countess, who I had seen in the gothic boudoir. She welcomed me with a smile, made me sit beside her, and talked about my work, seeming genuinely interested, especially when I explained my theories in a fun way instead of using the formal language of a professor. It seemed to entertain her when I said that human will is a physical force like steam; that in the moral world, nothing can stand against its power if someone teaches themselves to focus it, manage it, and continuously direct its flow towards other souls. I said that such a person could change everything in relation to humanity, even the strict laws of nature. The questions Foedora asked showed a sharp intellect. I took pleasure in agreeing with some of them to flatter her; then I countered her feminine reasoning with a single word and piqued her curiosity by pointing out something ordinary—sleep, which seems so trivial but is actually an unsolvable problem for science. The countess sat quietly for a moment when I told her that our ideas are complete living beings, existing in an invisible world and influencing our fates; and I cited the thoughts of Descartes, Diderot, and Napoleon, who have shaped, and still shape, the currents of the age.”

“So I had the honor of amusing this woman; who asked me to come to see her when she left me; giving me les grande entrees, in the language of the court. Whether it was by dint of substituting polite formulas for genuine expressions of feeling, a commendable habit of mine, or because Foedora hailed in me a coming celebrity, an addition to her learned menagerie; for some reason I thought that I had pleased her. I called all my previous physiological studies and knowledge of woman to my aid, and minutely scrutinized this singular person and her ways all evening. I concealed myself in the embrasure of a window, and sought to discover her thoughts from her bearing. I studied the tactics of the mistress of the house, as she came and went, sat and chatted, beckoned to this one or that, asked questions, listened to the answers, as she leaned against the frame of the door; I detected a languid charm in her movements, a grace in the flutterings of her dress, remarked the nature of the feelings she so powerfully excited, and became very incredulous as to her virtue. If Foedora would none of love to-day, she had had strong passions at some time; past experience of pleasure showed itself in the attitudes she chose in conversation, in her coquettish way of leaning against the panel behind her; she seemed scarcely able to stand alone, and yet ready for flight from too bold a glance. There was a kind of eloquence about her lightly folded arms, which, even for benevolent eyes, breathed sentiment. Her fresh red lips sharply contrasted with her brilliantly pale complexion. Her brown hair brought out all the golden color in her eyes, in which blue streaks mingled as in Florentine marble; their expression seemed to increase the significance of her words. A studied grace lay in the charms of her bodice. Perhaps a rival might have found the lines of the thick eyebrows, which almost met, a little hard; or found a fault in the almost invisible down that covered her features. I saw the signs of passion everywhere, written on those Italian eyelids, on the splendid shoulders worthy of the Venus of Milo, on her features, in the darker shade of down above a somewhat thick under-lip. She was not merely a woman, but a romance. The whole blended harmony of lines, the feminine luxuriance of her frame, and its passionate promise, were subdued by a constant inexplicable reserve and modesty at variance with everything else about her. It needed an observation as keen as my own to detect such signs as these in her character. To explain myself more clearly; there were two women in Foedora, divided perhaps by the line between head and body: the one, the head alone, seemed to be susceptible, and the other phlegmatic. She prepared her glance before she looked at you, something unspeakably mysterious, some inward convulsion seemed revealed by her glittering eyes.

“So I had the honor of entertaining this woman, who asked me to come see her when she was done with me, giving me les grande entrees, in the language of the court. Whether it was because I replaced genuine feelings with polite phrases, a habit of mine, or because Foedora saw me as a future celebrity, an addition to her collection of intellectuals; for some reason, I thought I had impressed her. I drew on all my past studies and knowledge about women to help me, and I closely observed this unique person and her mannerisms all evening. I hid in the corner of a window, trying to read her thoughts from her behavior. I studied the way the hostess moved around the room, sat and chatted, gestured to this person or that, asked questions, listened to the answers, as she leaned against the door frame; I noticed a languid charm in her movements, a grace in the way her dress fluttered, sensed the powerful feelings she stirred in others, and began to doubt her virtue. If Foedora wasn't interested in love today, she must have had strong passions at some point; hints of past pleasure showed in her choice of postures during conversations, in her flirtatious way of leaning against the door frame; she seemed barely able to stand on her own yet ready to flee from an overly bold gaze. There was a kind of eloquence in her softly crossed arms, which, even for kind eyes, radiated sentiment. Her fresh red lips sharply contrasted with her bright pale skin. Her brown hair highlighted the golden tones in her eyes, which had blue streaks like Florentine marble; their expression seemed to enhance the meaning of her words. There was a deliberate elegance in the appeal of her bodice. A rival might have found the shape of her thick eyebrows, nearly meeting, a bit harsh; or picked out a flaw in the almost invisible down covering her features. I saw signs of passion everywhere, written on those Italian eyelids, on the splendid shoulders worthy of the Venus of Milo, on her features, in the darker shade of down above a somewhat full lower lip. She was not just a woman, but a story. The complete harmonious blend of her lines, the feminine richness of her form, and its passionate promise were muted by a constant, inexplicable reserve and modesty that contradicted everything about her. It required a keen observer like myself to recognize such traits in her character. To clarify; there were two women in Foedora, perhaps divided along the line between mind and body: the one, the mind, seemed sensitive, while the other was indifferent. She prepared her gaze before looking at you, something unspeakably mysterious, some inner turmoil seemed to be revealed by her sparkling eyes.”

“So, to be brief, either my imperfect moral science had left me a good deal to learn in the moral world, or a lofty soul dwelt in the countess, lent to her face those charms that fascinated and subdued us, and gave her an ascendency only the more complete because it comprehended a sympathy of desire.

“So, to keep it short, either my flawed understanding of morality meant I still had a lot to learn about the moral world, or the countess had an elevated spirit that gave her face those captivating charms that drew us in and made us feel overwhelmed, creating a power over us that was even greater because it included a shared longing.”

“I went away completely enraptured with this woman, dazzled by the luxury around her, gratified in every faculty of my soul—noble and base, good and evil. When I felt myself so excited, eager, and elated, I thought I understood the attraction that drew thither those artists, diplomatists, men in office, those stock-jobbers encased in triple brass. They came, no doubt, to find in her society the delirious emotion that now thrilled through every fibre in me, throbbing through my brain, setting the blood a-tingle in every vein, fretting even the tiniest nerve. And she had given herself to none, so as to keep them all. A woman is a coquette so long as she knows not love.

“I left completely captivated by this woman, dazzled by the luxury surrounding her, fulfilled in every part of my soul—both noble and base, good and evil. When I felt so excited, eager, and elated, I thought I understood the attraction that drew in those artists, diplomats, public officials, and stock traders wrapped in confidence. They came, no doubt, to find in her company the intoxicating thrill that now coursed through every part of me, pulsing through my brain, making my blood rush in every vein, even irritating the tiniest nerve. And she had given herself to no one, in order to keep them all. A woman is a tease as long as she doesn't know love."

“‘Well,’ I said to Rastignac, ‘they married her, or sold her perhaps, to some old man, and recollections of her first marriage have caused her aversion for love.’

“‘Well,’ I said to Rastignac, ‘they either married her off or sold her to some old man, and memories of her first marriage have made her averse to love.’”

“I walked home from the Faubourg St. Honore, where Foedora lived. Almost all the breadth of Paris lies between her mansion and the Rue des Cordiers, but the distance seemed short, in spite of the cold. And I was to lay siege to Foedora’s heart, in winter, and a bitter winter, with only thirty francs in my possession, and such a distance as that lay between us! Only a poor man knows what such a passion costs in cab-hire, gloves, linen, tailor’s bills, and the like. If the Platonic stage lasts a little too long, the affair grows ruinous. As a matter of fact, there is many a Lauzun among students of law, who finds it impossible to approach a ladylove living on a first floor. And I, sickly, thin, poorly dressed, wan and pale as any artist convalescent after a work, how could I compete with other young men, curled, handsome, smart, outcravatting Croatia; wealthy men, equipped with tilburys, and armed with assurance?

“I walked home from the Faubourg St. Honore, where Foedora lived. Almost the entire width of Paris lies between her mansion and the Rue des Cordiers, but the distance felt short, despite the cold. I was set to win over Foedora’s heart in winter—a harsh winter—armed with only thirty francs, and such a distance between us! Only a poor man understands what this kind of passion really costs in cab fares, gloves, linens, tailor bills, and so on. If the Platonic phase lasts too long, it can become financially devastating. In fact, there are many law students who find it impossible to approach a girl living on the first floor. And I, sickly, thin, poorly dressed, as pale as any artist recovering after a project, how could I compete with other young men—dapper, handsome, stylish, and full of confidence? Wealthy guys, who have carriages and swagger to spare?”

“‘Bah, death or Foedora!’ I cried, as I went round by a bridge; ‘my fortune lies in Foedora.’

“‘Ugh, death or Foedora!’ I shouted as I walked around by a bridge; ‘my luck depends on Foedora.’”

“That gothic boudoir and Louis Quatorze salon came before my eyes. I saw the countess again in her white dress with its large graceful sleeves, and all the fascinations of her form and movements. These pictures of Foedora and her luxurious surroundings haunted me even in my bare, cold garret, when at last I reached it, as disheveled as any naturalist’s wig. The contrast suggested evil counsel; in such a way crimes are conceived. I cursed my honest, self-respecting poverty, my garret where such teeming fancies had stirred within me. I trembled with fury, I reproached God, the devil, social conditions, my own father, the whole universe, indeed, with my fate and my misfortunes. I went hungry to bed, muttering ludicrous imprecations, but fully determined to win Foedora. Her heart was my last ticket in the lottery, my fortune depended upon it.

That gothic bedroom and fancy Louis XIV sitting room appeared in my mind. I saw the countess again in her white dress with its big, flowing sleeves, and all the allure of her figure and movements. These images of Foedora and her lavish surroundings haunted me even in my bare, cold attic when I finally got there, looking as disheveled as any scientist's wig. The contrast hinted at bad choices; that's how crimes are born. I cursed my honest, self-respecting poverty, my attic where such vivid fantasies had stirred within me. I was filled with rage, blaming God, the devil, society, my own father, and the entire universe for my fate and misfortunes. I went to bed hungry, muttering ridiculous curses, but fully determined to win Foedora. Her heart was my last chance in this lottery; my fortune depended on it.

“I spare you the history of my earlier visits, to reach the drama the sooner. In my efforts to appeal to her, I essayed to engage her intellect and her vanity on my side; in order to secure her love, I gave her any quantity of reasons for increasing her self-esteem; I never left her in a state of indifference; women like emotions at any cost, I gave them to her in plenty; I would rather have had her angry with me than indifferent.

"I'll skip the history of my past visits to get to the drama faster. In trying to win her over, I attempted to engage her intellect and vanity; to earn her love, I gave her plenty of reasons to bolster her self-esteem. I never let her feel indifferent; women crave emotions at any cost, and I provided that in abundance. I would have preferred her to be angry with me than indifferent."

“At first, urged by a strong will and a desire for her love, I assumed a little authority, but my own feelings grew stronger and mastered me; I relapsed into truth, I lost my head, and fell desperately in love.

“At first, driven by a strong determination and my desire for her love, I took on a bit of authority, but my own feelings intensified and overwhelmed me; I slipped back into honesty, lost my composure, and fell head over heels in love.”

“I am not very sure what we mean by the word love in our poetry and our talk; but I know that I have never found in all the ready rhetorical phrases of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, in whose room perhaps I was lodging; nor among the feeble inventions of two centuries of our literature, nor in any picture that Italy has produced, a representation of the feelings that expanded all at once in my double nature. The view of the lake of Bienne, some music of Rossini’s, the Madonna of Murillo’s now in the possession of General Soult, Lescombat’s letters, a few sayings scattered through collections of anecdotes; but most of all the prayers of religious ecstatics, and passages in our fabliaux,—these things alone have power to carry me back to the divine heights of my first love.

“I’m not really sure what we mean by the word love in our poetry and conversations; but I know that I have never found in all the ready rhetorical phrases of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, in whose room I might have been staying; nor among the weak inventions of two centuries of our literature, nor in any artwork that Italy has produced, a representation of the feelings that suddenly grew in my dual nature. The view of Lake Bienne, some music of Rossini’s, the Madonna by Murillo now held by General Soult, Lescombat’s letters, a few quotes scattered in collections of anecdotes; but most of all the prayers of religious ecstatics, and passages in our fabliaux,—these are the only things that can bring me back to the divine heights of my first love.”

“Nothing expressed in human language, no thought reproducible in color, marble, sound, or articulate speech, could ever render the force, the truth, the completeness, the suddenness with which love awoke in me. To speak of art, is to speak of illusion. Love passes through endless transformations before it passes for ever into our existence and makes it glow with its own color of flame. The process is imperceptible, and baffles the artist’s analysis. Its moans and complaints are tedious to an uninterested spectator. One would need to be very much in love to share the furious transports of Lovelace, as one reads Clarissa Harlowe. Love is like some fresh spring, that leaves its cresses, its gravel bed and flowers to become first a stream and then a river, changing its aspect and its nature as it flows to plunge itself in some boundless ocean, where restricted natures only find monotony, but where great souls are engulfed in endless contemplation.

“Nothing expressed in human language, no thought that can be captured in color, marble, sound, or spoken words, could ever convey the intensity, the truth, the completeness, or the suddenness with which love awakened in me. Talking about art is talking about illusion. Love goes through countless transformations before it settles into our lives and makes them radiate with its own fiery color. This transformation is subtle and confounds the artist's analysis. Its moans and complaints are boring to anyone who isn't interested. You'd really need to be deeply in love to appreciate the intense emotions of Lovelace as you read Clarissa Harlowe. Love is like a fresh spring that leaves its watercress, the gravel bed, and flowers to first become a stream and then a river, changing its appearance and essence as it flows into some vast ocean, where limited natures find monotony, but where great souls are immersed in endless contemplation.”

“How can I dare to describe the hues of fleeting emotions, the nothings beyond all price, the spoken accents that beggar language, the looks that hold more than all the wealth of poetry? Not one of the mysterious scenes that draw us insensibly nearer and nearer to a woman, but has depths in it which can swallow up all the poetry that ever was written. How can the inner life and mystery that stirs in our souls penetrate through our glozes, when we have not even words to describe the visible and outward mysteries of beauty? What enchantment steeped me for how many hours in unspeakable rapture, filled with the sight of Her! What made me happy? I know not. That face of hers overflowed with light at such times; it seemed in some way to glow with it; the outlines of her face, with the scarcely perceptible down on its delicate surface, shone with a beauty belonging to the far distant horizon that melts into the sunlight. The light of day seemed to caress her as she mingled in it; rather it seemed that the light of her eyes was brighter than the daylight itself; or some shadow passing over that fair face made a kind of change there, altering its hues and its expression. Some thought would often seem to glow on her white brows; her eyes appeared to dilate, and her eyelids trembled; a smile rippled over her features; the living coral of her lips grew full of meaning as they closed and unclosed; an indistinguishable something in her hair made brown shadows on her fair temples; in each new phase Foedora spoke. Every slight variation in her beauty made a new pleasure for my eyes, disclosed charms my heart had never known before; I tried to read a separate emotion or a hope in every change that passed over her face. This mute converse passed between soul and soul, like sound and answering echo; and the short-lived delights then showered upon me have left indelible impressions behind. Her voice would cause a frenzy in me that I could hardly understand. I could have copied the example of some prince of Lorraine, and held a live coal in the hollow of my hand, if her fingers passed caressingly through my hair the while. I felt no longer mere admiration and desire: I was under the spell; I had met my destiny. When back again under my own roof, I still vaguely saw Foedora in her own home, and had some indefinable share in her life; if she felt ill, I suffered too. The next day I used to say to her:

“How can I even begin to describe the colors of fleeting emotions, the priceless moments, the spoken words that seem to escape language, the glances that convey more than all the poetry in the world? Every mysterious moment that draws us closer to a woman has depths that could absorb all the poetry ever written. How can the inner life and mystery that stirs within us break through our facades when we can’t even find the words to describe the visible and outward mysteries of beauty? What enchantment wrapped me for so many hours in indescribable joy, just from seeing her! What made me happy? I couldn’t say. Her face radiated light at those times; it seemed to emit a glow; the contours of her face, with the barely noticeable softness on its delicate surface, shone with the beauty of a distant horizon fading into sunlight. The daylight seemed to wrap around her as she moved within it; rather, it felt like the light of her eyes was brighter than the sunlight itself; or perhaps a shadow passing over that lovely face created a shift in its colors and expressions. A thought would often appear to light up her fair brows; her eyes seemed to widen, and her eyelids would flutter; a smile would dance across her features; the living coral of her lips brimmed with meaning as they opened and closed; an indistinguishable something in her hair cast soft shadows on her fair temples; with each new expression, Foedora spoke. Every subtle change in her beauty brought fresh delight to my eyes, revealing charms my heart had never recognized before; I tried to decipher a distinct emotion or hope in every transformation that crossed her face. This silent conversation flowed between our souls, like sound and responsive echo; and the brief delights that showered down on me have left lasting imprints behind. Her voice stirred a frenzy in me that I could hardly comprehend. I could have followed the example of some prince of Lorraine, holding a live coal in the palm of my hand, if her fingers gently passed through my hair at the same time. I felt more than mere admiration and desire: I was enchanted; I had met my fate. Back in my own home, I could still vaguely see Foedora in her own space and felt some indescribable connection to her life; if she felt unwell, I felt it too. The next day I would say to her:

“‘You were not well yesterday.’

"You weren't feeling well yesterday."

“How often has she not stood before me, called by the power of ecstasy, in the silence of the night! Sometimes she would break in upon me like a ray of light, make me drop my pen, and put science and study to flight in grief and alarm, as she compelled my admiration by the alluring pose I had seen but a short time before. Sometimes I went to seek her in the spirit world, and would bow down to her as to a hope, entreating her to let me hear the silver sounds of her voice, and I would wake at length in tears.

“How often has she stood before me, pulled in by the power of ecstasy, in the stillness of the night! Sometimes she’d break into my thoughts like a beam of light, making me drop my pen and abandoning science and study in grief and fear, as she compelled my admiration with the captivating pose I had seen just before. Sometimes I sought her in the spirit world, bowing down to her as if she were hope itself, begging her to let me hear the sweet sounds of her voice, and I would eventually wake up in tears.

“Once, when she had promised to go to the theatre with me, she took it suddenly into her head to refuse to go out, and begged me to leave her alone. I was in such despair over the perversity which cost me a day’s work, and (if I must confess it) my last shilling as well, that I went alone where she was to have been, desiring to see the play she had wished to see. I had scarcely seated myself when an electric shock went through me. A voice told me, ‘She is here!’ I looked round, and saw the countess hidden in the shadow at the back of her box in the first tier. My look did not waver; my eyes saw her at once with incredible clearness; my soul hovered about her life like an insect above its flower. How had my senses received this warning? There is something in these inward tremors that shallow people find astonishing, but the phenomena of our inner consciousness are produced as simple as those of external vision; so I was not surprised, but much vexed. My studies of our mental faculties, so little understood, helped me at any rate to find in my own excitement some living proofs of my theories. There was something exceedingly odd in this combination of lover and man of science, of downright idolatry of a woman with the love of knowledge. The causes of the lover’s despair were highly interesting to the man of science; and the exultant lover, on the other hand, put science far away from him in his joy. Foedora saw me, and grew grave: I annoyed her. I went to her box during the first interval, and finding her alone, I stayed there. Although we had not spoken of love, I foresaw an explanation. I had not told her my secret, still there was a kind of understanding between us. She used to tell me her plans for amusement, and on the previous evening had asked with friendly eagerness if I meant to call the next day. After any witticism of hers, she would give me an inquiring glance, as if she had sought to please me alone by it. She would soothe me if I was vexed; and if she pouted, I had in some sort a right to ask an explanation. Before she would pardon any blunder, she would keep me a suppliant for long. All these things that we so relished, were so many lovers’ quarrels. What arch grace she threw into it all! and what happiness it was to me!

"Once, when she had promised to go to the theater with me, she suddenly decided not to go out and asked me to leave her alone. I was so upset by her stubbornness, which cost me a day’s work and, if I'm being honest, my last bit of money too, that I went alone to the place we were supposed to go, wanting to see the play she had wanted to see. I had barely sat down when I felt a jolt of electricity. A voice told me, ‘She is here!’ I looked around and saw the countess hiding in the shadows at the back of her box in the first tier. I didn’t look away; my eyes recognized her immediately with astonishing clarity; my soul hovered around her life like an insect over a flower. How had I sensed this? There’s something in these internal sensations that shallow people find amazing, but the events of our inner feelings are as straightforward as those of our outward perception; so I wasn’t surprised, just really frustrated. My studies of our mental faculties, which are so poorly understood, at least helped me find in my own excitement some living proof of my theories. There was something really strange about this mix of being a lover and a scientist, of pure worship for a woman combined with a love for knowledge. The reasons behind the lover’s despair were deeply fascinating to the scientist, while the ecstatic lover pushed all scientific thoughts away in his joy. Foedora noticed me and became serious: I bothered her. I went to her box during the first break, and finding her alone, I stayed. Although we hadn’t talked about love, I anticipated an understanding. I hadn’t shared my secret, yet there was a kind of connection between us. She used to tell me her plans for fun, and the night before had asked with friendly eagerness if I would come by the next day. After any joke she made, she would give me a questioning look, as if she wanted to please me alone. She would comfort me if I was upset; and if she sulked, I had some sort of right to ask why. Before she would forgive any mistake I made, she would keep me begging for a long time. All these things we enjoyed were like little lovers' quarrels. What charming grace she brought to it all! And what happiness it brought me!"

“But now we stood before each other as strangers, with the close relation between us both suspended. The countess was glacial: a presentiment of trouble filled me.

“But now we stood before each other as strangers, with our close relationship both on hold. The countess was icy: a sense of trouble filled me.

“‘Will you come home with me?’ she said, when the play was over.

“‘Will you come home with me?’ she asked when the play ended."

“There had been a sudden change in the weather, and sleet was falling in showers as we went out. Foedora’s carriage was unable to reach the doorway of the theatre. At the sight of a well-dressed woman about to cross the street, a commissionaire held an umbrella above us, and stood waiting at the carriage-door for his tip. I would have given ten years of life just then for a couple of halfpence, but I had not a penny. All the man in me and all my vainest susceptibilities were wrung with an infernal pain. The words, ‘I haven’t a penny about me, my good fellow!’ came from me in the hard voice of thwarted passion; and yet I was that man’s brother in misfortune, as I knew too well; and once I had so lightly paid away seven hundred thousand francs! The footman pushed the man aside, and the horses sprang forward. As we returned, Foedora, in real or feigned abstraction, answered all my questions curtly and by monosyllables. I said no more; it was a hateful moment. When we reached her house, we seated ourselves by the hearth, and when the servant had stirred the fire and left us alone, the countess turned to me with an inexplicable expression, and spoke. Her manner was almost solemn.

“There had been a sudden change in the weather, and sleet was falling in showers as we stepped outside. Foedora’s carriage couldn't get to the theater door. When a well-dressed woman was about to cross the street, a doorman held an umbrella over us and stood waiting by the carriage door for his tip. I would have given ten years of my life for a couple of pennies at that moment, but I didn’t have a single coin. All my dignity and vanity were twisted with a horrible pain. The words, ‘I don’t have a penny, my good man!’ came out of me in the harsh tone of frustration; yet I was that man’s brother in misfortune, as I knew all too well; and once I had easily given away seven hundred thousand francs! The footman shoved the man aside, and the horses lunged forward. On the way back, Foedora, whether genuinely or pretending to be lost in thought, answered all my questions curtly and with one-word replies. I said no more; it was an awful moment. When we got to her house, we sat by the fire, and after the servant had stirred the flames and left us alone, the countess turned to me with an unreadable expression and spoke. Her demeanor was almost serious.

“‘Since my return to France, more than one young man, tempted by my money, has made proposals to me which would have satisfied my pride. I have come across men, too, whose attachment was so deep and sincere that they might have married me even if they had found me the penniless girl I used to be. Besides these, Monsieur de Valentin, you must know that new titles and newly-acquired wealth have been also offered to me, and that I have never received again any of those who were so ill-advised as to mention love to me. If my regard for you was but slight, I would not give you this warning, which is dictated by friendship rather than by pride. A woman lays herself open to a rebuff of some kind, if she imagines herself to be loved, and declines, before it is uttered, to listen to language which in its nature implies a compliment. I am well acquainted with the parts played by Arsinoe and Araminta, and with the sort of answer I might look for under such circumstances; but I hope to-day that I shall not find myself misconstrued by a man of no ordinary character, because I have frankly spoken my mind.’

“Since I got back to France, more than one young man, drawn in by my money, has made offers that would have inflated my ego. I've also met men whose feelings were so deep and genuine that they might have married me even if I were still the broke girl I once was. Besides these, Monsieur de Valentin, you should know that I've also received offers of new titles and freshly acquired wealth, and I've never entertained those who foolishly brought up love with me. If I didn’t care for you much, I wouldn’t give you this heads-up, which comes from friendship rather than pride. A woman opens herself up to disappointment if she believes she is loved but refuses to listen to compliments before they are expressed. I understand the roles played by Arsinoe and Araminta and the type of response I should expect in such situations; however, I hope today I won’t be misunderstood by someone of your exceptional character, just because I've been direct about my feelings.”

“She spoke with the cool self-possession of some attorney or solicitor explaining the nature of a contract or the conduct of a lawsuit to a client. There was not the least sign of feeling in the clear soft tones of her voice. Her steady face and dignified bearing seemed to me now full of diplomatic reserve and coldness. She had planned this scene, no doubt, and carefully chosen her words beforehand. Oh, my friend, there are women who take pleasure in piercing hearts, and deliberately plunge the dagger back again into the wound; such women as these cannot but be worshiped, for such women either love or would fain be loved. A day comes when they make amends for all the pain they gave us; they repay us for the pangs, the keenness of which they recognize, in joys a hundred-fold, even as God, they tell us, recompenses our good works. Does not their perversity spring from the strength of their feelings? But to be so tortured by a woman, who slaughters you with indifference! was not the suffering hideous?

“She spoke with the calm confidence of a lawyer explaining a contract or the details of a lawsuit to a client. There was no hint of emotion in the clear, gentle tones of her voice. Her steady face and dignified posture now struck me as filled with diplomatic reserve and coldness. She must have planned this moment and chosen her words carefully ahead of time. Oh, my friend, there are women who take pleasure in breaking hearts, and who intentionally plunge the dagger back into the wound; such women deserve to be admired, for they either love or want to be loved. There comes a time when they make up for all the pain they caused us; they compensate us for the sharpness of our suffering with countless joys, just as God reportedly rewards our good deeds. Doesn’t their cruelty come from the intensity of their feelings? But to be tormented by a woman who destroys you with indifference! Wasn’t that suffering horrific?

“Foedora did not know it, but in that minute she trampled all my hopes beneath her feet; she maimed my life and she blighted my future with the cool indifference and unconscious barbarity of an inquisitive child who plucks its wings from a butterfly.

“Foedora didn’t realize it, but in that moment she crushed all my hopes beneath her feet; she ruined my life and destroyed my future with the cold indifference and unintentional cruelty of a curious child who tears the wings off a butterfly.”

“‘Later on,’ resumed Foedora, ‘you will learn, I hope, the stability of the affection that I keep for my friends. You will always find that I have devotion and kindness for them. I would give my life to serve my friends; but you could only despise me, if I allowed them to make love to me without return. That is enough. You are the only man to whom I have spoken such words as these last.’

“‘Later on,’ Foedora continued, ‘I hope you’ll see that my feelings for my friends are strong and reliable. You’ll always find me devoted and kind to them. I would give my life to support my friends; but you would only look down on me if I let them pursue me without feeling the same way. That’s it. You’re the only man I’ve ever said such things to.’”

“At first I could not speak, or master the tempest that arose within me; but I soon repressed my emotions in the depths of my soul, and began to smile.

“At first I couldn’t speak or control the storm inside me; but I quickly pushed my feelings down deep and started to smile.”

“‘If I own that I love you,’ I said, ‘you will banish me at once; if I plead guilty to indifference, you will make me suffer for it. Women, magistrates, and priests never quite lay the gown aside. Silence is non-committal; be pleased then, madame, to approve my silence. You must have feared, in some degree, to lose me, or I should not have received this friendly admonition; and with that thought my pride ought to be satisfied. Let us banish all personal considerations. You are perhaps the only woman with whom I could discuss rationally a resolution so contrary to the laws of nature. Considered with regard to your species, you are a prodigy. Now let us investigate, in good faith, the causes of this psychological anomaly. Does there exist in you, as in many women, a certain pride in self, a love of your own loveliness, a refinement of egoism which makes you shudder at the idea of belonging to another; is it the thought of resigning your own will and submitting to a superiority, though only of convention, which displeases you? You would seem to me a thousand times fairer for it. Can love formerly have brought you suffering? You probably set some value on your dainty figure and graceful appearance, and may perhaps wish to avoid the disfigurements of maternity. Is not this one of your strongest reasons for refusing a too importunate love? Some natural defect perhaps makes you insusceptible in spite of yourself? Do not be angry; my study, my inquiry is absolutely dispassionate. Some are born blind, and nature may easily have formed women who in like manner are blind, deaf, and dumb to love. You are really an interesting subject for medical investigation. You do not know your value. You feel perhaps a very legitimate distaste for mankind; in that I quite concur—to me they all seem ugly and detestable. And you are right,’ I added, feeling my heart swell within me; ‘how can you do otherwise than despise us? There is not a man living who is worthy of you.’

“‘If I admit that I love you,’ I said, ‘you’ll send me away immediately; if I claim to be indifferent, you’ll make me pay for it. Women, judges, and priests never really let go of their authority. Silence doesn’t commit me; so, please, madame, accept my silence. You must have been somewhat afraid of losing me, or I wouldn’t have received this friendly warning; and with that thought, my pride should be satisfied. Let’s put all personal feelings aside. You might be the only woman I could rationally talk to about a decision so against nature. Considering your gender, you’re exceptional. Now let’s sincerely explore the reasons behind this psychological puzzle. Do you have, like many women, a certain pride in yourself, a love for your own beauty, a refined sense of self that makes you shudder at the idea of belonging to someone else? Is it the thought of giving up your own will and submitting to a superiority, even if just by convention, that bothers you? You would seem a thousand times more beautiful for it. Could love have caused you pain in the past? You likely value your delicate figure and graceful looks and may want to avoid the changes that come with motherhood. Isn’t this one of your strongest reasons for rejecting a love that’s too eager? Perhaps some natural flaw makes you immune to love despite yourself? Don’t be upset; my study, my inquiry, is purely objective. Some people are born blind, and nature may have made women who are equally blind, deaf, and mute to love. You really are an interesting case for medical study. You don’t realize your worth. You might feel a very valid dislike for humanity; I completely understand—everyone seems ugly and repulsive to me. And you’re right,’ I added, feeling my heart swell within me; ‘how can you do anything but despise us? There isn’t a man alive who deserves you.’”

“I will not repeat all the biting words with which I ridiculed her. In vain; my bitterest sarcasms and keenest irony never made her wince nor elicited a sign of vexation. She heard me, with the customary smile upon her lips and in her eyes, the smile that she wore as a part of her clothing, and that never varied for friends, for mere acquaintances, or for strangers.

“I won’t go through all the harsh things I said to mock her. It was pointless; my most cutting sarcasm and sharpest irony never made her flinch or showed any sign of annoyance. She listened to me, with her usual smile on her lips and in her eyes, the smile that seemed like a permanent part of her outfit, and that never changed for friends, acquaintances, or strangers.”

“‘Isn’t it very nice of me to allow you to dissect me like this?’ she said at last, as I came to a temporary standstill, and looked at her in silence. ‘You see,’ she went on, laughing, ‘that I have no foolish over-sensitiveness about my friendship. Many a woman would shut her door on you by way of punishing you for your impertinence.’

“‘Isn’t it nice of me to let you analyze me like this?’ she finally said, as I paused for a moment and looked at her in silence. ‘You see,’ she continued, laughing, ‘I don’t have any silly over-sensitivity when it comes to my friendships. Many women would just shut you out to punish you for your rudeness.’”

“‘You could banish me without needing to give me the reasons for your harshness.’ As I spoke I felt that I could kill her if she dismissed me.

“‘You could kick me out without having to explain why you're being so cruel.’ As I said this, I felt like I could really hurt her if she rejected me.”

“‘You are mad,’ she said, smiling still.

“You're crazy,” she said, still smiling.

“‘Did you never think,’ I went on, ‘of the effects of passionate love? A desperate man has often murdered his mistress.’

“‘Did you never think,’ I continued, ‘about the effects of intense love? A desperate person has often killed their lover.’”

“‘It is better to die than to live in misery,’ she said coolly. ‘Such a man as that would run through his wife’s money, desert her, and leave her at last in utter wretchedness.’

“‘It’s better to die than to live in misery,’ she said coolly. ‘A man like that would blow through his wife’s money, abandon her, and leave her completely destitute in the end.’”

“This calm calculation dumfounded me. The gulf between us was made plain; we could never understand each other.

“This calm reasoning shocked me. The gap between us was clear; we could never understand each other.

“‘Good-bye,’ I said proudly.

"Bye," I said proudly.

“‘Good-bye, till to-morrow,’ she answered, with a little friendly bow.

“‘Goodbye, see you tomorrow,’ she replied, giving a small friendly bow.

“For a moment’s space I hurled at her in a glance all the love I must forego; she stood there with than banal smile of hers, the detestable chill smile of a marble statue, with none of the warmth in it that it seemed to express. Can you form any idea, my friend, of the pain that overcame me on the way home through rain and snow, across a league of icy-sheeted quays, without a hope left? Oh, to think that she not only had not guessed my poverty, but believed me to be as wealthy as she was, and likewise borne as softly over the rough ways of life! What failure and deceit! It was no mere question of money now, but of the fate of all that lay within me.

“For a moment, I threw all the love I had to let go at her with a glance; she stood there with that bland smile of hers, the cold, lifeless grin of a marble statue, lacking any warmth that it seemed to show. Can you imagine, my friend, the pain that washed over me as I made my way home through rain and snow, across a mile of icy quays, feeling completely hopeless? Oh, to think that she not only didn’t see my struggles but thought I was as wealthy as she was, navigating life just as easily! What a disappointment and a betrayal! It wasn’t just about money anymore; it was about the fate of everything inside me.”

“I went at haphazard, going over the words of our strange conversation with myself. I got so thoroughly lost in my reflections that I ended by doubts as to the actual value of words and ideas. But I loved her all the same; I loved this woman with the untouched heart that might surrender at any moment—a woman who daily disappointed the expectations of the previous evening, by appearing as a new mistress on the morrow.

“I wandered aimlessly, replaying the words of our strange conversation in my head. I became so absorbed in my thoughts that I ended up questioning the true value of words and ideas. But I loved her despite that; I loved this woman with the untouched heart that could give in at any moment—a woman who constantly disappointed the hopes I had the night before by showing up as a completely different person the next day.”

“As I passed under the gateway of the Institute, a fevered thrill ran through me. I remembered that I was fasting, and that I had not a penny. To complete the measure of my misfortune, my hat was spoiled by the rain. How was I to appear in the drawing-room of a woman of fashion with an unpresentable hat? I had always cursed the inane and stupid custom that compels us to exhibit the lining of our hats, and to keep them always in our hands, but with anxious care I had so far kept mine in a precarious state of efficiency. It had been neither strikingly new, nor utterly shabby, neither napless nor over-glossy, and might have passed for the hat of a frugally given owner, but its artificially prolonged existence had now reached the final stage, it was crumpled, forlorn, and completely ruined, a downright rag, a fitting emblem of its master. My painfully preserved elegance must collapse for want of thirty sous.

As I walked through the gateway of the Institute, an intense thrill rushed through me. I remembered that I was fasting and that I didn’t have a single penny. To top off my bad luck, my hat was ruined by the rain. How was I supposed to show up in the drawing room of a fashionable woman with such a terrible hat? I had always hated the silly and pointless custom that forces us to show the inside of our hats and to hold them at all times, but I had managed to keep mine in somewhat decent shape. It wasn’t brand new, but it wasn’t completely worn out either, neither flat nor overly shiny, and it could have passed for the hat of a careful owner. But its artificially prolonged lifespan was now at its end; it was crumpled, sad, and totally destroyed—a complete rag, just like its owner. My carefully maintained elegance was about to fall apart for want of thirty sous.

“What unrecognized sacrifices I had made in the past three months for Foedora! How often I had given the price of a week’s sustenance to see her for a moment! To leave my work and go without food was the least of it! I must traverse the streets of Paris without getting splashed, run to escape showers, and reach her rooms at last, as neat and spruce as any of the coxcombs about her. For a poet and a distracted wooer the difficulties of this task were endless. My happiness, the course of my love, might be affected by a speck of mud upon my only white waistcoat! Oh, to miss the sight of her because I was wet through and bedraggled, and had not so much as five sous to give to a shoeblack for removing the least little spot of mud from my boot! The petty pangs of these nameless torments, which an irritable man finds so great, only strengthened my passion.

“What unrecognized sacrifices I had made in the past three months for Foedora! How often I had given up a week's worth of food just to see her for a moment! Leaving my work and skipping meals was just the beginning! I had to navigate the streets of Paris without getting splashed, run to avoid the rain, and finally arrive at her place looking as neat and sharp as the other guys around her. For a poet and a distracted lover, the challenges of this task seemed endless. My happiness, the course of my love, could hinge on a speck of mud on my only white waistcoat! Oh, to miss seeing her because I was soaked and disheveled, without even five sous to pay a shoeblack to clean a tiny spot of mud off my boot! The minor pains of these little torments, which an irritable person finds so overwhelming, only fueled my passion.”

“The unfortunate must make sacrifices which they may not mention to women who lead refined and luxurious lives. Such women see things through a prism that gilds all men and their surroundings. Egoism leads them to take cheerful views, and fashion makes them cruel; they do not wish to reflect, lest they lose their happiness, and the absorbing nature of their pleasures absolves their indifference to the misfortunes of others. A penny never means millions to them; millions, on the contrary, seem a mere trifle. Perhaps love must plead his cause by great sacrifices, but a veil must be lightly drawn across them, they must go down into silence. So when wealthy men pour out their devotion, their fortunes, and their lives, they gain somewhat by these commonly entertained opinions, an additional lustre hangs about their lovers’ follies; their silence is eloquent; there is a grace about the drawn veil; but my terrible distress bound me over to suffer fearfully or ever I might speak of my love or of dying for her sake.

“The unfortunate have to make sacrifices that they can’t mention to women who live refined and luxurious lives. These women see everything through a lens that makes all men and their surroundings seem perfect. Their self-centeredness leads them to have an overly positive outlook, and their obsession with fashion makes them insensitive; they don’t want to think too deeply, fearing they might lose their happiness, and their intense focus on pleasure excuses their indifference to the struggles of others. A penny never feels like much to them; on the other hand, millions seem like a trivial amount. Maybe love has to make big sacrifices, but they should be lightly covered up, going unnoticed. So, when wealthy men express their devotion, their fortunes, and their lives, they benefit from this common view, an extra glow surrounds their lovers’ foolishness; their silence speaks volumes; there’s an elegance to the veil that covers it; but my deep distress forced me to suffer greatly before I could think of confessing my love or dying for her sake."

“Was it a sacrifice after all? Was I not richly rewarded by the joy I took in sacrificing everything to her? There was no commonest event of my daily life to which the countess had not given importance, had not overfilled with happiness. I had been hitherto careless of my clothes, now I respected my coat as if it had been a second self. I should not have hesitated between bodily harm and a tear in that garment. You must enter wholly into my circumstances to understand the stormy thoughts, the gathering frenzy, that shook me as I went, and which, perhaps, were increased by my walk. I gloated in an infernal fashion which I cannot describe over the absolute completeness of my wretchedness. I would have drawn from it an augury of my future, but there is no limit to the possibilities of misfortune. The door of my lodging-house stood ajar. A light streamed from the heart-shaped opening cut in the shutters. Pauline and her mother were sitting up for me and talking. I heard my name spoken, and listened.

“Was it really a sacrifice after all? Was I not greatly rewarded by the joy I found in giving up everything for her? Every little event in my daily life had gained significance because of the countess, had been filled with happiness. I had previously been careless about my clothes, but now I treated my coat like it was a part of me. I wouldn't have hesitated between physical harm and ruining that garment. You need to understand my situation fully to grasp the chaotic thoughts and growing turmoil that overwhelmed me as I walked, which might have been intensified by my stroll. I reveled in a twisted way that I can't fully explain in the sheer depth of my misery. I wished I could glean some insight about my future from it, but there’s no limit to the possibilities of misfortune. The door of my lodging house was slightly open. A light shined through the heart-shaped cut in the shutters. Pauline and her mother were waiting up for me and chatting. I heard my name mentioned, and I listened in.

“‘Raphael is much nicer-looking than the student in number seven,’ said Pauline; ‘his fair hair is such a pretty color. Don’t you think there is something in his voice, too, I don’t know what it is, that gives you a sort of a thrill? And, then, though he may be a little proud, he is very kind, and he has such fine manners; I am sure that all the ladies must be quite wild about him.’

“‘Raphael looks way better than the student in number seven,’ said Pauline; ‘his light hair is such a beautiful color. Don’t you think there’s something about his voice, too? I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it gives you a sort of thrill. And even though he might be a bit proud, he’s really kind, and he has such great manners; I’m sure all the ladies must be totally crazy about him.’”

“‘You might be fond of him yourself, to hear you talk,’ was Madame Gaudin’s comment.

“‘You might actually like him yourself, judging by what you’re saying,’ was Madame Gaudin’s comment.”

“‘He is just as dear to me as a brother,’ she laughed. ‘I should be finely ungrateful if I felt no friendship for him. Didn’t he teach me music and drawing and grammar, and everything I know in fact? You don’t much notice how I get on, dear mother; but I shall know enough, in a while, to give lessons myself, and then we can keep a servant.’

“‘He’s as dear to me as a brother,’ she laughed. ‘I would be really ungrateful if I didn’t have any friendship for him. Didn’t he teach me music, drawing, grammar, and everything I know, really? You don’t pay much attention to how I’m doing, dear mother; but I’ll know enough soon to give lessons myself, and then we can hire a servant.’”

“I stole away softly, made some noise outside, and went into their room to take the lamp, that Pauline tried to light for me. The dear child had just poured soothing balm into my wounds. Her outspoken admiration had given me fresh courage. I so needed to believe in myself and to come by a just estimate of my advantages. This revival of hope in me perhaps colored my surroundings. Perhaps also I had never before really looked at the picture that so often met my eyes, of the two women in their room; it was a scene such as Flemish painters have reproduced so faithfully for us, that I admired in its delightful reality. The mother, with the kind smile upon her lips, sat knitting stockings by the dying fire; Pauline was painting hand-screens, her brushes and paints, strewn over the tiny table, made bright spots of color for the eye to dwell on. When she had left her seat and stood lighting my lamp, one must have been under the yoke of a terrible passion indeed, not to admire her faintly flushed transparent hands, the girlish charm of her attitude, the ideal grace of her head, as the lamplight fell full on her pale face. Night and silence added to the charms of this industrious vigil and peaceful interior. The light-heartedness that sustained such continuous toil could only spring from devout submission and the lofty feelings that it brings.

“I quietly slipped away, made a bit of noise outside, and went into their room to grab the lamp that Pauline had tried to light for me. The sweet girl had just applied soothing balm to my wounds. Her honest admiration had given me new courage. I really needed to believe in myself and to have a fair assessment of my strengths. This revival of hope in me possibly changed how I viewed my surroundings. Maybe I had never truly looked at the scene that often caught my eye, of the two women in their room; it was a scene that Flemish painters have captured so faithfully for us, and I admired its charming reality. The mother, with a kind smile on her lips, sat knitting stockings by the dying fire; Pauline was painting hand screens, her brushes and paints scattered across the small table, creating bright spots of color for the eye to enjoy. When she got up from her seat to light my lamp, one would have to be under the influence of a terrible passion indeed, not to admire her slightly flushed, translucent hands, the girl-next-door charm of her posture, the ideal grace of her head as the lamplight illuminated her pale face. The night and silence enhanced the charms of this hardworking vigil and tranquil room. The light-heartedness that fueled such continuous labor could only come from deep devotion and the noble feelings it inspires.”

“There was an indescribable harmony between them and their possessions. The splendor of Foedora’s home did not satisfy; it called out all my worst instincts; something in this lowly poverty and unfeigned goodness revived me. It may have been that luxury abased me in my own eyes, while here my self-respect was restored to me, as I sought to extend the protection that a man is so eager to make felt, over these two women, who in the bare simplicity of the existence in their brown room seemed to live wholly in the feelings of their hearts. As I came up to Pauline, she looked at me in an almost motherly way; her hands shook a little as she held the lamp, so that the light fell on me and cried:

“There was an indescribable harmony between them and their belongings. The splendor of Foedora’s home didn’t satisfy me; it brought out my worst instincts. Something about this humble poverty and genuine goodness revived me. Maybe it was that luxury made me feel inferior, while here my self-respect was restored as I tried to offer the protection a man is so eager to provide, over these two women who, in the bare simplicity of their brown room, seemed to live completely in the feelings of their hearts. As I approached Pauline, she looked at me in an almost motherly way; her hands trembled a bit as she held the lamp, letting the light fall on me and calling out to me:

“‘Dieu! how pale you are! and you are wet through! My mother will try to wipe you dry. Monsieur Raphael,’ she went on, after a little pause, ‘you are so very fond of milk, and to-night we happen to have some cream. Here, will you not take some?’

“‘God! You look so pale! And you’re soaking wet! My mom will try to dry you off. Mr. Raphael,’ she continued after a brief pause, ‘you really love milk, and tonight we actually have some cream. Here, why don’t you take some?’”

“She pounced like a kitten, on a china bowl full of milk. She did it so quickly, and put it before me so prettily, that I hesitated.

“She pounced like a kitten on a bowl of milk. She did it so quickly and presented it to me so nicely that I hesitated."

“‘You are going to refuse me?’ she said, and her tones changed.

“‘Are you really going to refuse me?’ she asked, and her tone shifted.”

“The pride in each felt for the other’s pride. It was Pauline’s poverty that seemed to humiliate her, and to reproach me with my want of consideration, and I melted at once and accepted the cream that might have been meant for her morning’s breakfast. The poor child tried not to show her joy, but her eyes sparkled.

“The pride each felt for the other’s pride was undeniable. It was Pauline’s poverty that seemed to humiliate her and made me feel guilty for my lack of consideration. I immediately softened and accepted the cream that might have been meant for her breakfast. The poor girl tried not to show her happiness, but her eyes were shining.”

“‘I needed it badly,’ I said as I sat down. (An anxious look passed over her face.) ‘Do you remember that passage, Pauline, where Bossuet tells how God gave more abundant reward for a cup of cold water than for a victory?’

“‘I needed it badly,’ I said as I sat down. (An anxious look crossed her face.) ‘Do you remember that part, Pauline, where Bossuet mentions how God rewards a cup of cold water more generously than a victory?’”

“‘Yes,’ she said, her heart beating like some wild bird’s in a child’s hands.

“‘Yes,’ she said, her heart racing like a wild bird’s in a child’s hands.

“‘Well, as we shall part very soon, now,’ I went on in an unsteady voice, ‘you must let me show my gratitude to you and to your mother for all the care you have taken of me.’

“‘Well, since we’ll be saying goodbye soon,’ I said in a shaky voice, ‘you have to let me show my appreciation to you and your mom for all the care you’ve given me.’”

“‘Oh, don’t let us cast accounts,’ she said laughing. But her laughter covered an agitation that gave me pain. I went on without appearing to hear her words:

“‘Oh, let’s not worry about the details,’ she said, laughing. But her laughter disguised a restlessness that hurt me. I continued without seeming to notice her words:

“‘My piano is one of Erard’s best instruments; and you must take it. Pray accept it without hesitation; I really could not take it with me on the journey I am about to make.’

“‘My piano is one of Erard’s best instruments; and you must take it. Please accept it without hesitation; I really can’t take it with me on the journey I’m about to make.’”

“Perhaps the melancholy tones in which I spoke enlightened the two women, for they seemed to understand, and eyed me with curiosity and alarm. Here was the affection that I had looked for in the glacial regions of the great world, true affection, unostentatious but tender, and possibly lasting.

“Maybe the sad way I spoke made the two women understand, because they looked at me with curiosity and concern. This was the affection I had hoped to find in the cold places of the world, genuine affection, not showy but caring, and maybe even lasting.”

“‘Don’t take it to heart so,’ the mother said; ‘stay on here. My husband is on his way towards us even now,’ she went on. ‘I looked into the Gospel of St. John this evening while Pauline hung our door-key in a Bible from her fingers. The key turned; that means that Gaudin is in health and doing well. Pauline began again for you and for the young man in number seven—it turned for you, but not for him. We are all going to be rich. Gaudin will come back a millionaire. I dreamed once that I saw him in a ship full of serpents; luckily the water was rough, and that means gold or precious stones from over-sea.’

“‘Don’t take it so personally,’ the mother said; ‘just stay here. My husband is on his way to us right now,’ she continued. ‘I checked the Gospel of St. John this evening while Pauline hung our door key in a Bible from her fingers. The key turned; that means Gaudin is healthy and doing well. Pauline tried again for you and the young man in number seven—it turned for you, but not for him. We’re all going to be rich. Gaudin will come back a millionaire. I once dreamed I saw him on a ship filled with snakes; luckily, the water was rough, which means gold or precious stones from abroad.’”

“The silly, friendly words were like the crooning lullaby with which a mother soothes her sick child; they in a manner calmed me. There was a pleasant heartiness in the worthy woman’s looks and tones, which, if it could not remove trouble, at any rate soothed and quieted it, and deadened the pain. Pauline, keener-sighted than her mother, studied me uneasily; her quick eyes seemed to read my life and my future. I thanked the mother and daughter by an inclination of the head, and hurried away; I was afraid I should break down.

“The silly, friendly words felt like the soft lullaby a mother sings to comfort her sick child; they somehow calmed me. There was a warm sincerity in the woman's expression and voice that, while it couldn't erase my troubles, at least eased and quieted them, dulling the pain. Pauline, sharper than her mother, watched me nervously; her quick eyes seemed to read my life and future. I thanked the mother and daughter with a nod and quickly left; I was worried I'd lose it.”

“I found myself alone under my roof, and laid myself down in my misery. My unhappy imagination suggested numberless baseless projects, and prescribed impossible resolutions. When a man is struggling in the wreck of his fortunes, he is not quite without resources, but I was engulfed. Ah, my dear fellow, we are too ready to blame the wretched. Let us be less harsh on the results of the most powerful of all social solvents. Where poverty is absolute there exist no such things as shame or crime, or virtue or intelligence. I knew not what to do; I was as defenceless as a maiden on her knees before a beast of prey. A penniless man who has no ties to bind him is master of himself at any rate, but a luckless wretch who is in love no longer belongs to himself, and may not take his own life. Love makes us almost sacred in our own eyes; it is the life of another that we revere within us; then and so it begins for us the cruelest trouble of all—the misery with a hope in it, a hope for which we must even bear our torments. I thought I would go to Rastignac on the morrow to confide Foedora’s strange resolution to him, and with that I slept.

I found myself alone in my house and lay down in my sadness. My unhappy mind came up with countless wild ideas and suggested impossible solutions. When someone is struggling after losing everything, they aren't completely without options, but I felt overwhelmed. Ah, my dear friend, we are quick to judge the unfortunate. Let’s be less harsh on the results of the most powerful force for change in society. Where poverty is absolute, there are no concepts of shame or crime, or virtue or intelligence. I didn’t know what to do; I felt as defenseless as a girl on her knees in front of a predator. A broke man with no ties is still the master of his life, but an unlucky person who is in love no longer belongs to himself and might not even choose to end his life. Love makes us feel almost sacred in our own eyes; it’s the life of another that we cherish within ourselves; and that’s when we begin to face the cruelest trouble of all—the agony mixed with hope, a hope for which we must endure our suffering. I thought I would go to Rastignac the next day to share Foedora's strange decision with him, and with that thought, I fell asleep.

“‘Ah, ha!’ cried Rastignac, as he saw me enter his lodging at nine o’clock in the morning. ‘I know what brings you here. Foedora has dismissed you. Some kind souls, who were jealous of your ascendency over the countess, gave out that you were going to be married. Heaven only knows what follies your rivals have equipped you with, and what slanders have been directed at you.’

“‘Ah, ha!’ cried Rastignac when he saw me walk into his apartment at nine in the morning. ‘I know why you’re here. Foedora has let you go. Some jealous people, who were envious of your influence over the countess, spread the word that you were about to get married. Who knows what nonsense your rivals have fed you or what lies they’ve thrown your way.’”

“‘That explains everything!’ I exclaimed. I remembered all my presumptuous speeches, and gave the countess credit for no little magnanimity. It pleased me to think that I was a miscreant who had not been punished nearly enough, and I saw nothing in her indulgence but the long-suffering charity of love.

“‘That explains everything!’ I said. I recalled all my arrogant speeches and acknowledged the countess for her considerable generosity. It made me feel good to think of myself as a wrongdoer who hadn’t been punished nearly enough, and I saw only the patient kindness of love in her forgiveness.

“‘Not quite so fast,’ urged the prudent Gascon; ‘Foedora has all the sagacity natural to a profoundly selfish woman; perhaps she may have taken your measure while you still coveted only her money and her splendor; in spite of all your care, she could have read you through and through. She can dissemble far too well to let any dissimulation pass undetected. I fear,’ he went on, ‘that I have brought you into a bad way. In spite of her cleverness and her tact, she seems to me a domineering sort of person, like every woman who can only feel pleasure through her brain. Happiness for her lies entirely in a comfortable life and in social pleasures; her sentiment is only assumed; she will make you miserable; you will be her head footman.’

“‘Not so fast,’ cautioned the careful Gascon; ‘Foedora has all the smarts typical of a deeply selfish woman; maybe she figured you out while you were still just after her money and her luxury; despite all your efforts, she could have seen right through you. She can fake it way too well to let any pretense go unnoticed. I worry,’ he continued, ‘that I’ve led you into a tough situation. Despite her intelligence and charm, she strikes me as a controlling person, like every woman who can only find joy through her intellect. Her happiness revolves entirely around a comfortable life and social events; her feelings are just an act; she will make you unhappy; you’ll be her top servant.’”

“He spoke to the deaf. I broke in upon him, disclosing, with an affectation of light-heartedness, the state of my finances.

“He spoke to the deaf. I interrupted him, pretending to be cheerful, and revealed my financial situation.

“‘Yesterday evening,’ he rejoined, ‘luck ran against me, and that carried off all my available cash. But for that trivial mishap, I would gladly have shared my purse with you. But let us go and breakfast at the restaurant; perhaps there is good counsel in oysters.’

“‘Last night,’ he replied, ‘bad luck hit me, and I lost all my cash. If it weren't for that small mishap, I would have happily shared my money with you. But let’s go grab breakfast at the restaurant; maybe there’s some good advice in oysters.’”

“He dressed, and had his tilbury brought round. We went to the Cafe de Paris like a couple of millionaires, armed with all the audacious impertinence of the speculator whose capital is imaginary. That devil of a Gascon quite disconcerted me by the coolness of his manners and his absolute self-possession. While we were taking coffee after an excellent and well-ordered repast, a young dandy entered, who did not escape Rastignac. He had been nodding here and there among the crowd to this or that young man, distinguished both by personal attractions and elegant attire, and now he said to me:

“He got dressed and had his carriage brought around. We headed to the Café de Paris like a couple of millionaires, full of the bold confidence of someone whose wealth is all in their head. That charming Gascon surprised me with how calm and composed he was. While we enjoyed coffee after a fantastic and well-prepared meal, a young dandy walked in, catching Rastignac's attention. He had been nodding at various young men in the crowd, known for their good looks and stylish outfits, and now he said to me:

“‘Here’s your man,’ as he beckoned to this gentleman with a wonderful cravat, who seemed to be looking for a table that suited his ideas.

“‘Here’s your guy,’ he called to the gentleman with a stylish cravat, who appeared to be searching for a table that matched his taste.

“‘That rogue has been decorated for bringing out books that he doesn’t understand a word of,’ whispered Rastignac; ‘he is a chemist, a historian, a novelist, and a political writer; he has gone halves, thirds, or quarters in the authorship of I don’t know how many plays, and he is as ignorant as Dom Miguel’s mule. He is not a man so much as a name, a label that the public is familiar with. So he would do well to avoid shops inscribed with the motto, “Ici l’on peut ecrire soi-meme.” He is acute enough to deceive an entire congress of diplomatists. In a couple of words, he is a moral half-caste, not quite a fraud, nor entirely genuine. But, hush! he has succeeded already; nobody asks anything further, and every one calls him an illustrious man.’

“‘That con artist has been honored for publishing books he doesn’t understand at all,’ whispered Rastignac; ‘he’s a chemist, a historian, a novelist, and a political writer; he’s collaborated on who knows how many plays, and he’s as clueless as Dom Miguel’s mule. He’s not really a person, just a name, a label the public recognizes. So he should definitely steer clear of shops with the sign, “Ici l’on peut ecrire soi-meme.” He’s sharp enough to fool an entire group of diplomats. In short, he’s a moral half-breed, not exactly a fraud, but not entirely genuine either. But, shh! He’s already made it; no one asks any more questions, and everyone calls him an illustrious man.’”

“‘Well, my esteemed and excellent friend, and how may Your Intelligence be?’ So Rastignac addressed the stranger as he sat down at a neighboring table.

“‘Well, my esteemed and excellent friend, how are you today?’ Rastignac said to the stranger as he took a seat at a nearby table.”

“‘Neither well nor ill; I am overwhelmed with work. I have all the necessary materials for some very curious historical memoirs in my hands, and I cannot find any one to whom I can ascribe them. It worries me, for I shall have to be quick about it. Memoirs are falling out of fashion.’

“‘Neither good nor bad; I’m swamped with work. I have all the necessary materials for some really interesting historical memoirs, but I can’t find anyone to credit them to. It’s bothering me because I need to act fast. Memoirs are going out of style.’”

“‘What are the memoirs—contemporaneous, ancient, or memoirs of the court, or what?’

“‘What are the memoirs—current, historical, or those from the court, or what?’”

“‘They relate to the Necklace affair.’

“‘They relate to the Necklace situation.’”

“‘Now, isn’t that a coincidence?’ said Rastignac, turning to me and laughing. He looked again to the literary speculation, and said, indicating me:

“‘Well, isn’t that a coincidence?’ Rastignac said, turning to me and laughing. He looked back at the literary speculation and said, pointing at me:

“‘This is M. de Valentin, one of my friends, whom I must introduce to you as one of our future literary celebrities. He had formerly an aunt, a marquise, much in favor once at court, and for about two years he has been writing a Royalist history of the Revolution.’

“‘This is M. de Valentin, one of my friends, whom I must introduce to you as one of our future literary stars. He once had an aunt, a marquise, who was quite popular at court, and for about two years, he has been writing a Royalist history of the Revolution.’”

“Then, bending over this singular man of business, he went on:

“Then, leaning over this unique businessman, he continued:

“‘He is a man of talent, and a simpleton that will do your memoirs for you, in his aunt’s name, for a hundred crowns a volume.’

“‘He’s a talented guy, but a bit of a fool who will write your memoirs for you, in his aunt’s name, for a hundred crowns a volume.’”

“‘It’s a bargain,’ said the other, adjusting his cravat. ‘Waiter, my oysters.’

“‘It’s a deal,’ said the other, fixing his tie. ‘Waiter, my oysters.’”

“‘Yes, but you must give me twenty-five louis as commission, and you will pay him in advance for each volume,’ said Rastignac.

“‘Yes, but you have to give me twenty-five louis as a commission, and you will pay him in advance for each volume,’ said Rastignac.”

“‘No, no. He shall only have fifty crowns on account, and then I shall be sure of having my manuscript punctually.’

“‘No, no. He can only get fifty crowns in advance, and then I'll be sure to receive my manuscript on time.’”

“Rastignac repeated this business conversation to me in low tones; and then, without giving me any voice in the matter, he replied:

“Rastignac quietly shared this business conversation with me, and then, without involving me in the decision, he answered:

“‘We agree to your proposal. When can we call upon you to arrange the affair?’

“‘We accept your proposal. When can we reach out to you to set up the arrangement?’”

“‘Oh, well! Come and dine here to-morrow at seven o’clock.’

“‘Oh, sure! Come and have dinner here tomorrow at seven o’clock.’”

“We rose. Rastignac flung some money to the waiter, put the bill in his pocket, and we went out. I was quite stupified by the flippancy and ease with which he had sold my venerable aunt, la Marquise de Montbauron.

“We got up. Rastignac tossed some money to the waiter, stuffed the bill in his pocket, and we headed outside. I was completely stunned by the casualness and ease with which he had sold my aged aunt, la Marquise de Montbauron.”

“‘I would sooner take ship for the Brazils, and give the Indians lessons in algebra, though I don’t know a word of it, than tarnish my family name.’

“‘I would rather set sail for Brazil and teach the locals algebra, even though I don’t know a thing about it, than ruin my family’s name.’”

“Rastignac burst out laughing.

Rastignac burst into laughter.

“‘How dense you are! Take the fifty crowns in the first instance, and write the memoirs. When you have finished them, you will decline to publish them in your aunt’s name, imbecile! Madame de Montbauron, with her hooped petticoat, her rank and beauty, rouge and slippers, and her death upon the scaffold, is worth a great deal more than six hundred francs. And then, if the trade will not give your aunt her due, some old adventurer, or some shady countess or other, will be found to put her name to the memoirs.’

“‘You’re so slow! Take the fifty crowns right away and write the memoirs. Once you’re done, you won’t want to publish them under your aunt’s name, you idiot! Madame de Montbauron, with her fancy petticoat, her status and beauty, makeup and shoes, and her execution on the scaffold, is worth way more than six hundred francs. And if the publishers won’t give your aunt what she deserves, some old con artist or some sketchy countess will definitely step in to put her name on the memoirs.’”

“‘Oh,’ I groaned; ‘why did I quit the blameless life in my garret? This world has aspects that are very vilely dishonorable.’

“‘Oh,’ I groaned; ‘why did I give up my innocent life in my attic? This world has some really dishonorable sides.’”

“‘Yes,’ said Rastignac, ‘that is all very poetical, but this is a matter of business. What a child you are! Now, listen to me. As to your work, the public will decide upon it; and as for my literary middle-man, hasn’t he devoted eight years of his life to obtaining a footing in the book-trade, and paid heavily for his experience? You divide the money and the labor of the book with him very unequally, but isn’t yours the better part? Twenty-five louis means as much to you as a thousand francs does to him. Come, you can write historical memoirs, a work of art such as never was, since Diderot once wrote six sermons for a hundred crowns!’

“‘Yes,’ said Rastignac, ‘that's all very poetic, but this is a business matter. What a child you are! Now, listen to me. When it comes to your work, the public will have the final say; and as for my literary agent, hasn't he spent eight years of his life trying to make a name for himself in the book industry and paid a lot for his experience? You split the money and labor of the book with him very unevenly, but isn’t yours the better deal? Twenty-five louis is worth just as much to you as a thousand francs is to him. Come on, you can write historical memoirs, a piece of art like nothing seen since Diderot wrote six sermons for a hundred crowns!’”

“‘After all,’ I said, in agitation, ‘I cannot choose but do it. So, my dear friend, my thanks are due to you. I shall be quite rich with twenty-five louis.’

“‘After all,’ I said, anxiously, ‘I have no choice but to do it. So, my dear friend, I owe you my thanks. I will be quite rich with twenty-five louis.’”

“‘Richer than you think,’ he laughed. ‘If I have my commission from Finot in this matter, it goes to you, can’t you see? Now let us go to the Bois de Boulogne,’ he said; ‘we shall see your countess there, and I will show you the pretty little widow that I am to marry—a charming woman, an Alsacienne, rather plump. She reads Kant, Schiller, Jean Paul, and a host of lachrymose books. She has a mania for continually asking my opinion, and I have to look as if I entered into all this German sensibility, and to know a pack of ballads—drugs, all of them, that my doctor absolutely prohibits. As yet I have not been able to wean her from her literary enthusiasms; she sheds torrents of tears as she reads Goethe, and I have to weep a little myself to please her, for she has an income of fifty thousand livres, my dear boy, and the prettiest little hand and foot in the world. Oh, if she would only say mon ange and brouiller instead of mon anche and prouiller, she would be perfection!’

“‘Richer than you think,’ he laughed. ‘If I get my commission from Finot in this matter, it goes to you, can’t you see? Now let’s go to the Bois de Boulogne,’ he said; ‘we’ll see your countess there, and I’ll show you the lovely little widow I’m going to marry—a charming woman, an Alsatian, a bit plump. She reads Kant, Schiller, Jean Paul, and a bunch of tear-jerking books. She has this thing for constantly asking my opinion, and I have to act like I engage with all this German sensitivity and know a bunch of ballads—total downers, all of them, that my doctor really forbids. So far, I haven’t been able to pull her away from her literary passions; she cries rivers of tears reading Goethe, and I have to shed a few tears myself to keep her happy, because she has an income of fifty thousand livres, my dear boy, and the prettiest little hands and feet in the world. Oh, if only she would say mon ange and brouiller instead of mon anche and prouiller, she would be perfect!’”

“We saw the countess, radiant amid the splendors of her equipage. The coquette bowed very graciously to us both, and the smile she gave me seemed to me to be divine and full of love. I was very happy; I fancied myself beloved; I had money, a wealth of love in my heart, and my troubles were over. I was light-hearted, blithe, and content. I found my friend’s lady-love charming. Earth and air and heaven—all nature—seemed to reflect Foedora’s smile for me.

“We saw the countess, glowing amidst the elegance of her surroundings. The flirt bowed graciously to both of us, and the smile she gave me felt divine and full of love. I was really happy; I imagined myself loved; I had money, a wealth of love in my heart, and my troubles were behind me. I was carefree, cheerful, and satisfied. I found my friend’s girlfriend delightful. The earth, the air, and the sky—all of nature—seemed to mirror Foedora’s smile for me.”

“As we returned through the Champs-Elysees, we paid a visit to Rastignac’s hatter and tailor. Thanks to the ‘Necklace,’ my insignificant peace-footing was to end, and I made formidable preparations for a campaign. Henceforward I need not shrink from a contest with the spruce and fashionable young men who made Foedora’s circle. I went home, locked myself in, and stood by my dormer window, outwardly calm enough, but in reality I bade a last good-bye to the roofs without. I began to live in the future, rehearsed my life drama, and discounted love and its happiness. Ah, how stormy life can grow to be within the four walls of a garret! The soul within us is like a fairy; she turns straw into diamonds for us; and for us, at a touch of her wand, enchanted palaces arise, as flowers in the meadows spring up towards the sun.

“As we made our way back through the Champs-Elysees, we stopped by Rastignac’s hat store and tailor. Thanks to the ‘Necklace,’ my inconspicuous status was about to change, and I was gearing up for a big push. From now on, I wouldn’t have to shy away from competing with the polished and stylish young men who were part of Foedora’s circle. I went home, locked myself in, and stood by my dormer window, appearing calm on the outside, but deep down I was saying a final farewell to the rooftops outside. I began to focus on the future, rehearsed my life’s story, and set aside thoughts of love and happiness. Ah, how tumultuous life can become within the four walls of a small attic! The soul inside us is like a fairy; she transforms straw into diamonds for us; and at her magic touch, magnificent palaces appear, just as flowers in the meadows reach for the sun.”

“Towards noon, next day, Pauline knocked gently at my door, and brought me—who could guess it?—a note from Foedora. The countess asked me to take her to the Luxembourg, and to go thence to see with her the Museum and Jardin des Plantes.

“Towards noon the next day, Pauline knocked softly at my door and brought me—who would have guessed it?—a note from Foedora. The countess asked me to take her to the Luxembourg and then go with her to see the Museum and Jardin des Plantes.”

“‘The man is waiting for an answer,’ said Pauline, after quietly waiting for a moment.

“‘The guy is waiting for an answer,’ said Pauline, after quietly waiting for a moment.

“I hastily scrawled my acknowledgements, and Pauline took the note. I changed my dress. When my toilette was ended, and I looked at myself with some complaisance, an icy shiver ran through me as I thought:

“I quickly wrote my acknowledgements, and Pauline took the note. I changed my dress. When I was done getting ready and looked at myself with some satisfaction, an icy shiver ran through me as I thought:

“‘Will Foedora walk or drive? Will it rain or shine?—No matter, though,’ I said to myself; ‘whichever it is, can one ever reckon with feminine caprice? She will have no money about her, and will want to give a dozen francs to some little Savoyard because his rags are picturesque.’

“‘Is Foedora going to walk or drive? Is it going to rain or shine?—It doesn’t matter, though,’ I told myself; ‘no matter what it is, can anyone ever predict a woman's whims? She won’t have any cash on her and will probably want to give a dozen francs to some little Savoyard because his rags are charming.’”

“I had not a brass farthing, and should have no money till the evening came. How dearly a poet pays for the intellectual prowess that method and toil have brought him, at such crises of our youth! Innumerable painfully vivid thoughts pierced me like barbs. I looked out of my window; the weather was very unsettled. If things fell out badly, I might easily hire a cab for the day; but would not the fear lie on me every moment that I might not meet Finot in the evening? I felt too weak to endure such fears in the midst of my felicity. Though I felt sure that I should find nothing, I began a grand search through my room; I looked for imaginary coins in the recesses of my mattress; I hunted about everywhere—I even shook out my old boots. A nervous fever seized me; I looked with wild eyes at the furniture when I had ransacked it all. Will you understand, I wonder, the excitement that possessed me when, plunged deep in the listlessness of despair, I opened my writing-table drawer, and found a fair and splendid ten-franc piece that shone like a rising star, new and sparkling, and slily hiding in a cranny between two boards? I did not try to account for its previous reserve and the cruelty of which it had been guilty in thus lying hidden; I kissed it for a friend faithful in adversity, and hailed it with a cry that found an echo, and made me turn sharply, to find Pauline with a face grown white.

“I didn’t have a penny to my name and wouldn’t have any money until the evening. How much a poet sacrifices for the intellectual skill that hard work and effort have brought him during these crises of youth! Countless painfully vivid thoughts pierced me like arrows. I looked out of my window; the weather was really unpredictable. If things went wrong, I could easily hire a cab for the day; but wouldn’t the fear linger every moment that I might not see Finot in the evening? I felt too weak to handle such fears while I was feeling so happy. Even though I was sure I wouldn’t find anything, I started a thorough search of my room; I looked for imaginary coins hidden in my mattress; I searched everywhere—I even shook out my old boots. A nervous tension gripped me; I stared wildly at the furniture after I had searched it all. Will you understand, I wonder, the thrill that overtook me when, deep in the numbness of despair, I opened my writing desk drawer and found a beautiful and shiny ten-franc coin that sparkled like a rising star, new and bright, slyly hidden in a crack between two boards? I didn’t try to figure out why it had been hidden away or the cruel fate it had faced while lying there; I kissed it like a loyal friend in tough times, and I greeted it with a cry that echoed back to me, making me turn quickly to find Pauline with a pale face.

“‘I thought,’ she faltered, ‘that you had hurt yourself! The man who brought the letter——’ (she broke off as if something smothered her voice). ‘But mother has paid him,’ she added, and flitted away like a wayward, capricious child. Poor little one! I wanted her to share in my happiness. I seemed to have all the happiness in the world within me just then; and I would fain have returned to the unhappy, all that I felt as if I had stolen from them.

“‘I thought,’ she hesitated, ‘that you had hurt yourself! The guy who brought the letter——’ (she stopped abruptly as if something was choking her voice). ‘But mom has paid him,’ she added, then darted away like a mischievous, capricious child. Poor little thing! I wanted her to be part of my happiness. I felt like I had all the happiness in the world inside me at that moment; and I really wished I could give back to the unhappy ones all that I felt I had taken from them.

“The intuitive perception of adversity is sound for the most part; the countess had sent away her carriage. One of those freaks that pretty women can scarcely explain to themselves had determined her to go on foot, by way of the boulevards, to the Jardin des Plantes.

“The intuitive understanding of hardship is mostly accurate; the countess had dismissed her carriage. One of those whims that attractive women can barely explain to themselves made her decide to walk, through the boulevards, to the Jardin des Plantes.”

“‘It will rain,’ I told her, and it pleased her to contradict me.

“It’s going to rain,” I said to her, and she enjoyed proving me wrong.

“As it fell out, the weather was fine while we went through the Luxembourg; when we came out, some drops fell from a great cloud, whose progress I had watched uneasily, and we took a cab. At the Museum I was about to dismiss the vehicle, and Foedora (what agonies!) asked me not to do so. But it was like a dream in broad daylight for me, to chat with her, to wander in the Jardin des Plantes, to stray down the shady alleys, to feel her hand upon my arm; the secret transports repressed in me were reduced, no doubt, to a fixed and foolish smile upon my lips; there was something unreal about it all. Yet in all her movements, however alluring, whether we stood or whether we walked, there was nothing either tender or lover-like. When I tried to share in a measure the action of movement prompted by her life, I became aware of a check, or of something strange in her that I cannot explain, or an inner activity concealed in her nature. There is no suavity about the movements of women who have no soul in them. Our wills were opposed, and we did not keep step together. Words are wanting to describe this outward dissonance between two beings; we are not accustomed to read a thought in a movement. We instinctively feel this phenomenon of our nature, but it cannot be expressed.

As it turned out, the weather was nice while we were walking through Luxembourg; but when we came out, a few drops fell from a big cloud that I had been watching nervously, so we took a cab. At the museum, I was about to tell the driver to stop, but Foedora (what agony!) asked me not to. It felt like a dream in broad daylight to talk with her, to wander through the Jardin des Plantes, to walk down the shady paths, to feel her hand on my arm; the secret emotions I was holding back probably showed as a silly grin on my face; everything felt a bit unreal. Yet, in all her movements, no matter how enticing, whether we stood still or walked, there was nothing soft or romantic about it. When I tried to match my movements with hers, I sensed a barrier, or something strange in her that I couldn’t explain, or an inner conflict hidden within her. There’s no grace in the movements of women who lack any depth. Our wills clashed, and we couldn’t keep in sync. Words fail to capture this visible discord between two people; we aren’t used to reading thoughts through movements. We instinctively sense this aspect of our nature, but it can't be put into words.

“I did not dissect my sensations during those violent seizures of passion,” Raphael went on, after a moment of silence, as if he were replying to an objection raised by himself. “I did not analyze my pleasures nor count my heartbeats then, as a miser scrutinizes and weighs his gold pieces. No; experience sheds its melancholy light over the events of the past to-day, and memory brings these pictures back, as the sea-waves in fair weather cast up fragment after fragment of the debris of a wrecked vessel upon the strand.

“I didn’t pick apart my feelings during those intense moments of passion,” Raphael continued after a pause, almost as if he were addressing a point he had made himself. “I didn’t overthink my pleasures or count my heartbeats like a miser examines and weighs his coins. No; today, experience shines its sad light on past events, and memory brings back these images, like the waves in calm weather washing ashore piece by piece the remnants of a wrecked ship.”

“‘It is in your power to render me a rather important service,’ said the countess, looking at me in an embarrassed way. ‘After confiding in you my aversion to lovers, I feel myself more at liberty to entreat your good offices in the name of friendship. Will there not be very much more merit in obliging me to-day?’ she asked, laughing.

“‘You can really help me out,’ said the countess, looking at me with a bit of embarrassment. ‘Now that I’ve shared my dislike for lovers with you, I feel more comfortable asking for your help as a friend. Wouldn’t it be even more meaningful to do me this favor today?’ she asked, laughing.”

“I looked at her in anguish. Her manner was coaxing, but in no wise affectionate; she felt nothing for me; she seemed to be playing a part, and I thought her a consummate actress. Then all at once my hopes awoke once more, at a single look and word. Yet if reviving love expressed itself in my eyes, she bore its light without any change in the clearness of her own; they seemed, like a tiger’s eyes, to have a sheet of metal behind them. I used to hate her in such moments.

I looked at her in pain. She was trying to be sweet, but there was no warmth in it; she felt nothing for me; it seemed like she was just acting, and I thought she was an incredible actress. Then suddenly, my hopes came alive again with just one look and one word. But even if my renewed feelings were visible in my eyes, she held onto her own clarity without any shift; her eyes looked like a tiger's, shining with a metallic glint behind them. I used to hate her in those moments.

“‘The influence of the Duc de Navarreins would be very useful to me, with an all-powerful person in Russia,’ she went on, persuasion in every modulation of her voice, ‘whose intervention I need in order to have justice done me in a matter that concerns both my fortune and my position in the world, that is to say, the recognition of my marriage by the Emperor. Is not the Duc de Navarreins a cousin of yours? A letter from him would settle everything.’

“‘The influence of the Duc de Navarreins would be really helpful for me, with such a powerful person in Russia,’ she continued, her voice filled with persuasion, ‘whose support I need to get justice in a matter that affects both my wealth and my place in society, meaning the Emperor’s recognition of my marriage. Isn’t the Duc de Navarreins your cousin? A letter from him would fix everything.’”

“‘I am yours,’ I answered; ‘command me.’

“I’m yours,” I replied; “just tell me what you need.”

“‘You are very nice,’ she said, pressing my hand. ‘Come and have dinner with me, and I will tell you everything, as if you were my confessor.’

“‘You’re really nice,’ she said, holding my hand. ‘Come have dinner with me, and I’ll tell you everything, like you’re my confessor.’”

“So this discreet, suspicious woman, who had never been heard to speak a word about her affairs to any one, was going to consult me.

“So this quiet, secretive woman, who had never been known to discuss her business with anyone, was going to talk to me.”

“‘Oh, how dear to me is this silence that you have imposed on me!’ I cried; ‘but I would rather have had some sharper ordeal still.’ And she smiled upon the intoxication in my eyes; she did not reject my admiration in any way; surely she loved me!

“‘Oh, how precious is this silence you've put on me!’ I cried; ‘but I'd prefer an even sharper challenge.’ And she smiled at the passion in my eyes; she didn’t dismiss my admiration at all; surely, she loved me!

“Fortunately, my purse held just enough to satisfy her cab-man. The day spent in her house, alone with her, was delicious; it was the first time that I had seen her in this way. Hitherto we had always been kept apart by the presence of others, and by her formal politeness and reserved manners, even during her magnificent dinners; but now it was as if I lived beneath her own roof—I had her all to myself, so to speak. My wandering fancy broke down barriers, arranged the events of life to my liking, and steeped me in happiness and love. I seemed to myself her husband, I liked to watch her busied with little details; it was a pleasure to me even to see her take off her bonnet and shawl. She left me alone for a little, and came back, charming, with her hair newly arranged; and this dainty change of toilette had been made for me!

“Luckily, my wallet had just enough to pay her cab driver. The day I spent alone with her at her place was wonderful; it was the first time I had seen her like this. Until now, we had always been kept apart by others' presence and her formal politeness and reserved demeanor, even during her lavish dinners. But now it felt like I was living under her roof—I had her all to myself, so to speak. My wandering thoughts broke down barriers, arranged life events to my preference, and filled me with happiness and love. I felt like her husband, and I enjoyed watching her take care of the little things; it even pleased me to see her take off her bonnet and shawl. She left me alone for a bit, then returned, looking charming with her hair done up nicely; and this sweet change in her appearance had been made just for me!

“During the dinner she lavished attention upon me, and put charm without end into those numberless trifles to all seeming, that make up half of our existence nevertheless. As we sat together before a crackling fire, on silken cushions surrounded by the most desirable creations of Oriental luxury; as I saw this woman whose famous beauty made every heart beat, so close to me; an unapproachable woman who was talking and bringing all her powers of coquetry to bear upon me; then my blissful pleasure rose almost to the point of suffering. To my vexation, I recollected the important business to be concluded; I determined to go to keep the appointment made for me for this evening.

“During dinner, she showered me with attention and infused endless charm into all those seemingly insignificant details that make up half of our lives. As we sat together in front of a crackling fire on silk cushions, surrounded by the most exquisite examples of Eastern luxury, I watched this woman, whose renowned beauty made every heart race, so close to me; an unattainable woman who was engaging me and using all her flirting skills. My overwhelming joy almost turned into pain. To my annoyance, I remembered the important business I needed to take care of; I decided I had to go to keep the appointment I had for that evening.”

“‘So soon?’ she said, seeing me take my hat.

“‘So soon?’ she said, noticing me grab my hat.

“She loved me, then! or I thought so at least, from the bland tones in which those two words were uttered. I would then have bartered a couple of years of life for every hour she chose to grant to me, and so prolong my ecstasy. My happiness was increased by the extent of the money I sacrificed. It was midnight before she dismissed me. But on the morrow, for all that, my heroism cost me a good many remorseful pangs; I was afraid the affair of the Memoirs, now of such importance for me, might have fallen through, and rushed off to Rastignac. We found the nominal author of my future labors just getting up.

“She loved me, then! At least, that’s what I thought from the smooth way she said those two words. I would have traded a couple of years of my life for every hour she chose to spend with me, just to keep the bliss going. My happiness grew with the amount of money I gave up. It was midnight when she finally let me go. But the next day, for all that, my bravery brought me a lot of guilty feelings; I was worried that the Memoirs, which were now so crucial for me, might have fallen through, so I hurried to Rastignac. We found the supposed author of my future work just waking up.

“Finot read over a brief agreement to me, in which nothing whatever was said about my aunt, and when it had been signed he paid me down fifty crowns, and the three of us breakfasted together. I had only thirty francs left over, when I had paid for my new hat, for sixty tickets at thirty sous each, and settled my debts; but for some days to come the difficulties of living were removed. If I had but listened to Rastignac, I might have had abundance by frankly adopting the ‘English system.’ He really wanted to establish my credit by setting me to raise loans, on the theory that borrowing is the basis of credit. To hear him talk, the future was the largest and most secure kind of capital in the world. My future luck was hypothecated for the benefit of my creditors, and he gave my custom to his tailor, an artist, and a young man’s tailor, who was to leave me in peace until I married.

Finot read a short agreement to me, which didn’t mention my aunt at all, and after I signed it, he handed me fifty crowns, and the three of us had breakfast together. I was left with only thirty francs after buying my new hat, sixty tickets at thirty sous each, and settling my debts; but for the next few days, my living expenses were taken care of. If I had listened to Rastignac, I could have had plenty by simply adopting the ‘English system.’ He really wanted to boost my credit by having me take out loans, believing that borrowing is the foundation of credit. According to him, the future was the biggest and safest kind of capital in the world. My future earnings were pledged for the benefit of my creditors, and he directed me to his tailor, an artist, and a young man’s tailor, who was supposed to leave me alone until I got married.

“The monastic life of study that I had led for three years past ended on this day. I frequented Foedora’s house very diligently, and tried to outshine the heroes or the swaggerers to be found in her circle. When I believed that I had left poverty for ever behind me, I regained my freedom of mind, humiliated my rivals, and was looked upon as a very attractive, dazzling, and irresistible sort of man. But acute folk used to say with regard to me, ‘A fellow as clever as that will keep all his enthusiasms in his brain,’ and charitably extolled my faculties at the expense of my feelings. ‘Isn’t he lucky, not to be in love!’ they exclaimed. ‘If he were, could he be so light-hearted and animated?’ Yet in Foedora’s presence I was as dull as love could make me. When I was alone with her, I had not a word to say, or if I did speak, I renounced love; and I affected gaiety but ill, like a courtier who has a bitter mortification to hide. I tried in every way to make myself indispensable in her life, and necessary to her vanity and to her comfort; I was a plaything at her pleasure, a slave always at her side. And when I had frittered away the day in this way, I went back to my work at night, securing merely two or three hours’ sleep in the early morning.

The three years I spent living a monastic life of study came to an end today. I visited Foedora’s house a lot and tried to outshine the bold personalities in her circle. Just when I thought I had left poverty behind for good, I found my freedom of mind, put my rivals to shame, and was seen as quite attractive, dazzling, and hard to resist. But sharp observers would say, “A guy that clever must keep all his passions bottled up,” praising my intelligence while ignoring my feelings. “Isn’t he lucky not to be in love!” they said. “If he were, could he be so carefree and lively?” Yet, in Foedora’s presence, I felt as dull as a love-struck person could. When I was alone with her, I could hardly say a word, or if I did, I would deny having feelings; I pretended to be cheerful, but it felt forced, like a courtier hiding a deep shame. I tried everything to make myself essential to her life, to her vanity, and to her comfort; I was just a plaything for her to enjoy, a slave always by her side. After wasting the day this way, I returned to my work at night, managing to get only two or three hours of sleep in the early morning.

“But I had not, like Rastignac, the ‘English system’ at my finger-ends, and I very soon saw myself without a penny. I fell at once into that precarious way of life which industriously hides cold and miserable depths beneath an elusive surface of luxury; I was a coxcomb without conquests, a penniless fop, a nameless gallant. The old sufferings were renewed, but less sharply; no doubt I was growing used to the painful crisis. Very often my sole diet consisted of the scanty provision of cakes and tea that is offered in drawing-rooms, or one of the countess’ great dinners must sustain me for two whole days. I used all my time, and exerted every effort and all my powers of observation, to penetrate the impenetrable character of Foedora. Alternate hope and despair had swayed my opinions; for me she was sometimes the tenderest, sometimes the most unfeeling of women. But these transitions from joy to sadness became unendurable; I sought to end the horrible conflict within me by extinguishing love. By the light of warning gleams my soul sometimes recognized the gulfs that lay between us. The countess confirmed all my fears; I had never yet detected any tear in her eyes; an affecting scene in a play left her smiling and unmoved. All her instincts were selfish; she could not divine another’s joy or sorrow. She had made a fool of me, in fact!

“But I didn't have the 'English system' at my fingertips like Rastignac, and I quickly found myself broke. I fell into that shaky way of living that hides cold and miserable depths beneath a deceptive facade of luxury; I was a vain person without achievements, a broke dandy, a nameless suitor. Old pains returned, but not as intensely; I was probably getting used to the painful crisis. Often, my only meals were the few cakes and tea served in drawing rooms, or I'd have to stretch one of the countess's lavish dinners to last me for two whole days. I used all my time and put in every effort along with all my observational skills to figure out the unfathomable character of Foedora. My opinions swung between hope and despair; to me, she was sometimes the kindest, sometimes the most heartless of women. But these shifts from joy to sorrow became unbearable; I tried to end the terrible conflict within me by extinguishing my love. Occasionally, my soul caught glimpses of the chasms that lay between us. The countess confirmed all my fears; I had never seen a tear in her eyes; a touching scene in a play left her smiling and indifferent. All her instincts were self-centered; she couldn't sense another person's joy or sorrow. In truth, she had made a fool of me!"

“I had rejoiced over a sacrifice to make for her, and almost humiliated myself in seeking out my kinsman, the Duc de Navarreins, a selfish man who was ashamed of my poverty, and had injured me too deeply not to hate me. He received me with the polite coldness that makes every word and gesture seem an insult; he looked so ill at ease that I pitied him. I blushed for this pettiness amid grandeur, and penuriousness surrounded by luxury. He began to talk to me of his heavy losses in the three per cents, and then I told him the object of my visit. The change in his manners, hitherto glacial, which now gradually, became affectionate, disgusted me.

“I had been excited about making a sacrifice for her and almost humiliated myself by seeking out my relative, the Duc de Navarreins, a selfish man who was embarrassed by my poverty and had hurt me too much to not hate me. He greeted me with the polite coldness that makes every word and action feel like an insult; he looked so uncomfortable that I felt sorry for him. I felt embarrassed by this small-mindedness in the midst of grandeur, and by his stinginess surrounded by luxury. He started talking to me about his significant losses in the three percent investments, and then I explained the reason for my visit. The shift in his demeanor, which had been icy until then and gradually became warm, disgusted me.

“Well, he called upon the countess, and completely eclipsed me with her.

“Well, he visited the countess and totally overshadowed me with her.

“On him Foedora exercised spells and witcheries unheard of; she drew him into her power, and arranged her whole mysterious business with him; I was left out, I heard not a word of it; she had made a tool of me! She did not seem to be aware of my existence while my cousin was present; she received me less cordially perhaps than when I was first presented to her. One evening she chose to mortify me before the duke by a look, a gesture, that it is useless to try to express in words. I went away with tears in my eyes, planning terrible and outrageous schemes of vengeance without end.

“Foedora cast spells and manipulations that were beyond belief on him; she pulled him under her control and orchestrated her entire secret dealings with him. I was left out, not hearing a single word about it; she had made a puppet of me! She seemed completely unaware of my presence whenever my cousin was around; she welcomed me less warmly than when I first met her. One evening, she chose to humiliate me in front of the duke with a look, a gesture, that words can’t convey. I left with tears in my eyes, plotting endless, terrible schemes for revenge.”

“I often used to go with her to the theatre. Love utterly absorbed me as I sat beside her; as I looked at her I used to give myself up to the pleasure of listening to the music, putting all my soul into the double joy of love and of hearing every emotion of my heart translated into musical cadences. It was my passion that filled the air and the stage, that was triumphant everywhere but with my mistress. Then I would take Foedora’s hand. I used to scan her features and her eyes, imploring of them some indication that one blended feeling possessed us both, seeking for the sudden harmony awakened by the power of music, which makes our souls vibrate in unison; but her hand was passive, her eyes said nothing.

“I often went with her to the theater. Love completely consumed me as I sat next to her; as I looked at her, I lost myself in the joy of listening to the music, pouring all my soul into the double pleasure of love and hearing every emotion of my heart expressed in musical tones. It was my passion that filled the air and the stage, that was triumphant everywhere except with my girlfriend. Then I would take Foedora’s hand. I would study her features and her eyes, hoping for some sign that we shared the same feeling, searching for the sudden harmony sparked by the power of music, which makes our souls resonate together; but her hand was limp, her eyes revealed nothing.

“When the fire that burned in me glowed too fiercely from the face I turned upon her, she met it with that studied smile of hers, the conventional expression that sits on the lips of every portrait in every exhibition. She was not listening to the music. The divine pages of Rossini, Cimarosa, or Zingarelli called up no emotion, gave no voice to any poetry in her life; her soul was a desert.

“When the fire inside me burned too brightly from the look I gave her, she responded with her practiced smile, the standard expression found on the lips of every portrait in every gallery. She wasn’t paying attention to the music. The beautiful notes of Rossini, Cimarosa, or Zingarelli stirred no feelings, gave no echo of any poetry in her life; her soul was barren.”

“Foedora presented herself as a drama before a drama. Her lorgnette traveled restlessly over the boxes; she was restless too beneath the apparent calm; fashion tyrannized over her; her box, her bonnet, her carriage, her own personality absorbed her entirely. My merciless knowledge thoroughly tore away all my illusions. If good breeding consists in self-forgetfulness and consideration for others, in constantly showing gentleness in voice and bearing, in pleasing others, and in making them content in themselves, all traces of her plebeian origin were not yet obliterated in Foedora, in spite of her cleverness. Her self-forgetfulness was a sham, her manners were not innate but painfully acquired, her politeness was rather subservient. And yet for those she singled out, her honeyed words expressed natural kindness, her pretentious exaggeration was exalted enthusiasm. I alone had scrutinized her grimacings, and stripped away the thin rind that sufficed to conceal her real nature from the world; her trickery no longer deceived me; I had sounded the depths of that feline nature. I blushed for her when some donkey or other flattered and complimented her. And yet I loved her through it all! I hoped that her snows would melt with the warmth of a poet’s love. If I could only have made her feel all the greatness that lies in devotion, then I should have seen her perfected, she would have been an angel. I loved her as a man, a lover, and an artist; if it had been necessary not to love her so that I might win her, some cool-headed coxcomb, some self-possessed calculator would perhaps have had an advantage over me. She was so vain and sophisticated, that the language of vanity would appeal to her; she would have allowed herself to be taken in the toils of an intrigue; a hard, cold nature would have gained a complete ascendency over her. Keen grief had pierced me to my very soul, as she unconsciously revealed her absolute love of self. I seemed to see her as she one day would be, alone in the world, with no one to whom she could stretch her hand, with no friendly eyes for her own to meet and rest upon. I was bold enough to set this before her one evening; I painted in vivid colors her lonely, sad, deserted old age. Her comment on this prospect of so terrible a revenge of thwarted nature was horrible.

“Foedora showed up like a drama before a drama. Her lorgnette moved restlessly over the audience; she was also uneasy beneath her calm demeanor; fashion controlled her; her box, her hat, her carriage, and her own persona consumed her completely. My unforgiving awareness stripped away all my illusions. If good manners stem from selflessness and consideration for others, from consistently showing gentleness in voice and behavior, from pleasing others and making them feel good about themselves, all traces of her lower-class background were not yet erased in Foedora, despite her intelligence. Her selflessness was a facade, her manners were not innate but painstakingly learned, and her politeness felt somewhat servile. Yet for those she noticed, her sweet words reflected genuine kindness, and her exaggerated expressions were lofty enthusiasm. I alone had observed her grimaces and peeled back the thin layer that kept her true nature hidden from the world; her deception no longer fooled me; I had delved into the depths of that cat-like nature. I felt embarrassed for her when some fool or another flattered and complimented her. And yet I loved her through it all! I hoped that her icy exterior would melt with the warmth of a poet’s love. If only I could have made her feel all the greatness that comes from devotion, then I would have seen her transformed; she would have been an angel. I loved her as a man, a lover, and an artist; if not loving her would have given some cool-headed dandy or calculating strategist an edge over me, they might have had the upper hand. She was so vain and sophisticated that the language of vanity would capture her; she would have allowed herself to be ensnared in a scheme; a hard, cold nature would have dominated her completely. Deep grief had pierced me to my core, as she unknowingly revealed her overwhelming self-love. I seemed to envision her as she would one day be: alone in the world, without anyone to whom she could reach out, with no friendly eyes for her own to connect with and rest upon. I was bold enough to lay this out for her one evening; I vividly painted her lonely, sad, abandoned old age. Her reaction to this dreadful prediction of thwarted nature was horrifying.

“‘I shall always have money,’ she said; ‘and with money we can always inspire such sentiments as are necessary for our comfort in those about us.’

“‘I will always have money,’ she said; ‘and with money, we can always create the feelings we need for our comfort with those around us.’”

“I went away confounded by the arguments of luxury, by the reasoning of this woman of the world in which she lived; and blamed myself for my infatuated idolatry. I myself had not loved Pauline because she was poor; and had not the wealthy Foedora a right to repulse Raphael? Conscience is our unerring judge until we finally stifle it. A specious voice said within me, ‘Foedora is neither attracted to nor repulses any one; she has her liberty, but once upon a time she sold herself to the Russian count, her husband or her lover, for gold. But temptation is certain to enter into her life. Wait till that moment comes!’ She lived remote from humanity, in a sphere apart, in a hell or a heaven of her own; she was neither frail nor virtuous. This feminine enigma in embroideries and cashmeres had brought into play every emotion of the human heart in me—pride, ambition, love, curiosity.

“I left feeling confused by the allure of luxury and the reasoning of this sophisticated woman in her world; I blamed myself for my foolish admiration. I hadn't loved Pauline because she was poor; didn’t Foedora, with her wealth, have the right to turn away Raphael? Our conscience is an infallible judge until we silence it. A persuasive voice inside me said, ‘Foedora is not drawn to or repulsed by anyone; she has her freedom, but at one point, she sold herself to the Russian count, her husband or lover, for money. But temptation is bound to enter her life. Just wait for that moment!’ She lived apart from humanity, in her own realm, in a hell or a heaven of her own making; she was neither weak nor virtuous. This feminine mystery wrapped in embroideries and cashmeres stirred every emotion in my heart—pride, ambition, love, curiosity.”

“There was a craze just then for praising a play at a little Boulevard theatre, prompted perhaps by a wish to appear original that besets us all, or due to some freak of fashion. The countess showed some signs of a wish to see the floured face of the actor who had so delighted several people of taste, and I obtained the honor of taking her to a first presentation of some wretched farce or other. A box scarcely cost five francs, but I had not a brass farthing. I was but half-way through the volume of Memoirs; I dared not beg for assistance of Finot, and Rastignac, my providence, was away. These constant perplexities were the bane of my life.

There was a trend at that moment for praising a play at a small Boulevard theater, maybe because everyone wanted to seem original or due to some quirky fashion. The countess hinted that she wanted to see the powdery face of the actor who had impressed some tastefully inclined people, and I had the honor of taking her to the first showing of some terrible farce. A box only cost five francs, but I didn’t have a single penny. I was only halfway through the Memoirs; I didn’t dare ask Finot for help, and Rastignac, my savior, was out of town. These constant worries were the bane of my existence.

“We had once come out of the theatre when it was raining heavily, Foedora had called a cab for me before I could escape from her show of concern; she would not admit any of my excuses—my liking for wet weather, and my wish to go to the gaming-table. She did not read my poverty in my embarrassed attitude, or in my forced jests. My eyes would redden, but she did not understand a look. A young man’s life is at the mercy of the strangest whims! At every revolution of the wheels during the journey, thoughts that burned stirred in my heart. I tried to pull up a plank from the bottom of the vehicle, hoping to slip through the hole into the street; but finding insuperable obstacles, I burst into a fit of laughter, and then sat stupefied in calm dejection, like a man in a pillory. When I reached my lodging, Pauline broke in through my first stammering words with:

“We had just come out of the theater when it was pouring rain. Foedora had called a cab for me before I could escape her show of concern. She wouldn’t accept any of my excuses—my love for wet weather and my desire to hit the gaming table. She didn’t see my poverty in my embarrassed attitude or in my forced jokes. My eyes would redden, but she didn’t understand the look. A young man’s life is at the mercy of the strangest whims! With every turn of the wheels during the ride, burning thoughts swirled in my heart. I tried to pull a plank up from the bottom of the cab, hoping to slip through the hole into the street, but finding it impossible, I burst into laughter and then sat there, stunned in calm despair, like a man in a pillory. When I got to my place, Pauline interrupted my stammering words with:

“‘If you haven’t any money——?’

"If you don't have any money——?"

“Ah, the music of Rossini was as nothing compared with those words. But to return to the performance at the Funambules.

“Ah, the music of Rossini was nothing compared to those words. But let's go back to the performance at the Funambules.”

“I thought of pawning the circlet of gold round my mother’s portrait in order to escort the countess. Although the pawnbroker loomed in my thoughts as one of the doors of a convict’s prison, I would rather myself have carried my bed thither than have begged for alms. There is something so painful in the expression of a man who asks money of you! There are loans that mulct us of our self-respect, just as some rebuffs from a friend’s lips sweep away our last illusion.

"I considered pawning the gold circlet around my mother’s portrait to take the countess out. Even though the pawnbroker felt like a grim prison door in my mind, I would rather carry my bed there myself than ask for charity. There’s something so heartbreaking about the look of a person who’s asking you for money! Some loans strip us of our self-respect, just like certain rejections from a friend can shatter our last remaining illusions."

“Pauline was working; her mother had gone to bed. I flung a stealthy glance over the bed; the curtains were drawn back a little; Madame Gaudin was in a deep sleep, I thought, when I saw her quiet, sallow profile outlined against the pillow.

“Pauline was busy working; her mom had gone to bed. I took a sneaky look over the bed; the curtains were drawn back a bit; Madame Gaudin was sound asleep, I thought, as I saw her calm, pale profile outlined against the pillow.

“‘You are in trouble?’ Pauline said, dipping her brush into the coloring.

“You're in trouble?” Pauline asked, dipping her brush into the paint.

“‘It is in your power to do me a great service, my dear child,’ I answered.

“‘You have the ability to do me a huge favor, my dear child,’ I replied.

“The gladness in her eyes frightened me.

“The happiness in her eyes scared me.

“‘Is it possible that she loves me?’ I thought. ‘Pauline,’ I began. I went and sat near to her, so as to study her. My tones had been so searching that she read my thought; her eyes fell, and I scrutinized her face. It was so pure and frank that I fancied I could see as clearly into her heart as into my own.

“‘Could it be that she loves me?’ I wondered. ‘Pauline,’ I started. I moved to sit next to her, wanting to observe her. My voice had been so probing that she caught onto my thoughts; her gaze dropped, and I examined her face closely. It was so innocent and honest that I felt I could see into her heart as easily as I could see into my own.

“‘Do you love me?’ I asked.

“‘Do you love me?’ I asked.

“‘A little,—passionately—not a bit!’ she cried.

“‘A little—passionately—not at all!’ she shouted.

“Then she did not love me. Her jesting tones, and a little gleeful movement that escaped her, expressed nothing beyond a girlish, blithe goodwill. I told her about my distress and the predicament in which I found myself, and asked her to help me.

“Then she didn’t love me. Her playful tone and a little happy movement that slipped out showed nothing more than a carefree, playful kindness. I shared my distress and the situation I was in, and asked her to help me.”

“‘You do not wish to go to the pawnbroker’s yourself, M. Raphael,’ she answered, ‘and yet you would send me!’

“‘You don’t want to go to the pawnbroker’s yourself, M. Raphael,’ she responded, ‘and yet you would send me!’”

“I blushed in confusion at the child’s reasoning. She took my hand in hers as if she wanted to compensate for this home-truth by her light touch upon it.

“I blushed in confusion at the child's reasoning. She held my hand in hers as if she wanted to make up for this truth with her gentle touch on it.

“‘Oh, I would willingly go,’ she said, ‘but it is not necessary. I found two five-franc pieces at the back of the piano, that had slipped without your knowledge between the frame and the keyboard, and I laid them on your table.’

“‘Oh, I would gladly go,’ she said, ‘but it’s not needed. I found two five-franc coins at the back of the piano that had slipped out of sight between the frame and the keyboard, and I placed them on your table.’”

“‘You will soon be coming into some money, M. Raphael,’ said the kind mother, showing her face between the curtains, ‘and I can easily lend you a few crowns meanwhile.’

“‘You’re going to come into some money soon, M. Raphael,’ said the kind mother, peeking her face between the curtains, ‘and I can easily lend you a few bucks in the meantime.’”

“‘Oh, Pauline!’ I cried, as I pressed her hand, ‘how I wish that I were rich!’

“‘Oh, Pauline!’ I exclaimed, gripping her hand, ‘how I wish I were rich!’”

“‘Bah! why should you?’ she said petulantly. Her hand shook in mine with the throbbing of her pulse; she snatched it away, and looked at both of mine.

“‘Ugh! Why should you?’ she said irritably. Her hand trembled in mine with the beat of her pulse; she pulled it away and examined both of my hands.”

“‘You will marry a rich wife,’ she said, ‘but she will give you a great deal of trouble. Ah, Dieu! she will be your death,—I am sure of it.’

“‘You’ll marry a wealthy woman,’ she said, ‘but she’ll cause you a lot of problems. Oh, God! she will be the end of you,—I’m sure of it.’”

“In her exclamation there was something like belief in her mother’s absurd superstitions.

“In her exclamation, there was something resembling belief in her mother’s ridiculous superstitions.

“‘You are very credulous, Pauline!’

"You're so gullible, Pauline!"

“‘The woman whom you will love is going to kill you—there is no doubt of it,’ she said, looking at me with alarm.

“‘The woman you’re going to love is going to kill you—there’s no doubt about it,’ she said, looking at me with concern.”

“She took up her brush again and dipped it in the color; her great agitation was evident; she looked at me no longer. I was ready to give credence just then to superstitious fancies; no man is utterly wretched so long as he is superstitious; a belief of that kind is often in reality a hope.

“She picked up her brush again and dipped it in the paint; her intense agitation was clear; she no longer looked at me. I was ready to believe in superstitions at that moment; no one is completely miserable as long as they have superstitions; a belief like that is often really a form of hope.

“I found that those two magnificent five-franc pieces were lying, in fact, upon my table when I reached my room. During the first confused thoughts of early slumber, I tried to audit my accounts so as to explain this unhoped-for windfall; but I lost myself in useless calculations, and slept. Just as I was leaving my room to engage a box the next morning, Pauline came to see me.

“I discovered that those two magnificent five-franc coins were actually on my table when I got to my room. In the hazy thoughts of early sleep, I tried to make sense of this unexpected fortune by going over my accounts, but I got caught up in pointless calculations and fell asleep. Just as I was about to leave my room to book a box the next morning, Pauline came to see me.”

“‘Perhaps your ten francs is not enough,’ said the amiable, kind-hearted girl; ‘my mother told me to offer you this money. Take it, please, take it!’

“‘Maybe your ten francs isn’t enough,’ said the friendly, kind-hearted girl; ‘my mom told me to give you this money. Please, take it!’”

“She laid three crowns upon the table, and tried to escape, but I would not let her go. Admiration dried the tears that sprang to my eyes.

“She placed three crowns on the table and tried to leave, but I wouldn’t let her go. My admiration dried the tears that welled up in my eyes.”

“‘You are an angel, Pauline,’ I said. ‘It is not the loan that touches me so much as the delicacy with which it is offered. I used to wish for a rich wife, a fashionable woman of rank; and now, alas! I would rather possess millions, and find some girl, as poor as you are, with a generous nature like your own; and I would renounce a fatal passion which will kill me. Perhaps what you told me will come true.’

“‘You’re an angel, Pauline,’ I said. ‘It’s not the loan that moves me as much as the kindness with which it’s offered. I used to dream of having a wealthy wife, a stylish woman of high status; and now, unfortunately! I’d rather have millions and find a girl as poor as you, with a generous heart like yours; and I would give up a destructive passion that’s going to ruin me. Maybe what you said will come true.’”

“‘That is enough,’ she said, and fled away; the fresh trills of her birdlike voice rang up the staircase.

“‘That’s enough,’ she said, and ran away; the bright notes of her birdlike voice echoed up the staircase.

“‘She is very happy in not yet knowing love,’ I said to myself, thinking of the torments I had endured for many months past.

“‘She is really happy not knowing love yet,’ I said to myself, thinking about the pain I had endured for many months.”

“Pauline’s fifteen francs were invaluable to me. Foedora, thinking of the stifling odor of the crowded place where we were to spend several hours, was sorry that she had not brought a bouquet; I went in search of flowers for her, as I had laid already my life and my fate at her feet. With a pleasure in which compunction mingled, I gave her a bouquet. I learned from its price the extravagance of superficial gallantry in the world. But very soon she complained of the heavy scent of a Mexican jessamine. The interior of the theatre, the bare bench on which she was to sit, filled her with intolerable disgust; she upbraided me for bringing her there. Although she sat beside me, she wished to go, and she went. I had spent sleepless nights, and squandered two months of my life for her, and I could not please her. Never had that tormenting spirit been more unfeeling or more fascinating.

“Pauline’s fifteen francs were priceless to me. Foedora, thinking about the suffocating smell of the crowded place where we were going to spend several hours, regretted not bringing a bouquet; I went looking for flowers for her, having already laid my life and fate at her feet. With a mix of pleasure and guilt, I gave her a bouquet. From its price, I realized the extravagance of shallow gallantry in the world. But soon she complained about the strong scent of a Mexican jessamine. The inside of the theater, the bare bench she had to sit on, filled her with unbearable disgust; she scolded me for bringing her there. Even though she was sitting next to me, she wanted to leave, and she did. I had spent sleepless nights and wasted two months of my life for her, and I still couldn’t please her. Never had that tormenting spirit been more heartless or more captivating.”

“I sat beside her in the cramped back seat of the vehicle; all the way I could feel her breath on me and the contact of her perfumed glove; I saw distinctly all her exceeding beauty; I inhaled a vague scent of orris-root; so wholly a woman she was, with no touch of womanhood. Just then a sudden gleam of light lit up the depths of this mysterious life for me. I thought all at once of a book just published by a poet, a genuine conception of the artist, in the shape of the statue of Polycletus.

“I sat next to her in the cramped back seat of the car; all the way I could feel her breath on me and the contact of her perfumed glove; I clearly saw all her stunning beauty; I caught a faint scent of orris-root; she was completely feminine, with no hint of naivety. Just then, a sudden flash of insight illuminated the depths of her mysterious life for me. I suddenly remembered a book recently published by a poet, a true vision of the artist, resembling the statue of Polycletus.”

“I seemed to see that monstrous creation, at one time an officer, breaking in a spirited horse; at another, a girl, who gives herself up to her toilette and breaks her lovers’ hearts; or again, a false lover driving a timid and gentle maid to despair. Unable to analyze Foedora by any other process, I told her this fanciful story; but no hint of her resemblance to this poetry of the impossible crossed her—it simply diverted her; she was like a child over a story from the Arabian Nights.

“I felt like I was seeing this monstrous figure, once an officer, taming a spirited horse; at another moment, a girl who focuses on her looks and breaks her lovers’ hearts; or again, a fake lover pushing a shy and gentle girl to despair. Unable to break down Foedora any other way, I shared this imaginative story with her; but she didn't see any connection between herself and this impossible poetry—it just entertained her; she was like a child captivated by a story from the Arabian Nights.

“‘Foedora must be shielded by some talisman,’ I thought to myself as I went back, ‘or she could not resist the love of a man of my age, the infectious fever of that splendid malady of the soul. Is Foedora, like Lady Delacour, a prey to a cancer? Her life is certainly an unnatural one.’

“‘Foedora must have some kind of protection,’ I thought to myself as I went back, ‘or she wouldn't be able to resist the love of a man my age, the contagious fever of that intense passion. Is Foedora, like Lady Delacour, suffering from something serious? Her life is definitely not normal.’”

“I shuddered at the thought. Then I decided on a plan, at once the wildest and the most rational that lover ever dreamed of. I would study this woman from a physical point of view, as I had already studied her intellectually, and to this end I made up my mind to spend a night in her room without her knowledge. This project preyed upon me as a thirst for revenge gnaws at the heart of a Corsican monk. This is how I carried it out. On the days when Foedora received, her rooms were far too crowded for the hall-porter to keep the balance even between goers and comers; I could remain in the house, I felt sure, without causing a scandal in it, and I waited the countess’ coming soiree with impatience. As I dressed I put a little English penknife into my waistcoat pocket, instead of a poniard. That literary implement, if found upon me, could awaken no suspicion, but I knew not whither my romantic resolution might lead, and I wished to be prepared.

I shuddered at the thought. Then I came up with a plan, both the wildest and the most rational idea a lover could ever have. I would study this woman physically, just as I had already studied her intellectually, and to do this, I decided to spend a night in her room without her knowing. This idea consumed me like a thirst for revenge gnaws at the heart of a Corsican monk. Here’s how I went about it. On the days when Foedora hosted guests, her rooms were usually too packed for the hall porter to keep track of everyone coming and going; I felt confident that I could stay in the house without causing a stir, and I waited eagerly for the countess’ next gathering. As I got dressed, I slipped a small English penknife into my waistcoat pocket instead of a dagger. That harmless tool, if discovered, wouldn’t raise any suspicions, but I had no idea where my adventurous plan might take me, and I wanted to be ready.

“As soon as the rooms began to fill, I entered the bedroom and examined the arrangements. The inner and outer shutters were closed; this was a good beginning; and as the waiting-maid might come to draw back the curtains that hung over the windows, I pulled them together. I was running great risks in venturing to manoeuvre beforehand in this way, but I had accepted the situation, and had deliberately reckoned with its dangers.

“As soon as the rooms started to fill up, I went into the bedroom and looked over the arrangements. The inner and outer shutters were closed; this was a good start. Since the maid might come to pull back the curtains that hung over the windows, I pulled them together. I was taking a big risk by trying to maneuver like this in advance, but I had accepted the situation and had consciously considered its dangers.”

“About midnight I hid myself in the embrasure of the window. I tried to scramble on to a ledge of the wainscoting, hanging on by the fastening of the shutters with my back against the wall, in such a position that my feet could not be visible. When I had carefully considered my points of support, and the space between me and the curtains, I had become sufficiently acquainted with all the difficulties of my position to stay in it without fear of detection if undisturbed by cramp, coughs, or sneezings. To avoid useless fatigue, I remained standing until the critical moment, when I must hang suspended like a spider in its web. The white-watered silk and muslin of the curtains spread before me in great pleats like organ-pipes. With my penknife I cut loopholes in them, through which I could see.

"About midnight, I tucked myself into the window's recess. I tried to climb onto a ledge of the paneling, holding on to the shutter’s fastening with my back against the wall, making sure my feet were out of sight. After carefully considering my points of support and the space between me and the curtains, I became familiar enough with the challenges of my position to remain there without fear of being seen, as long as I wasn’t disrupted by cramps, coughs, or sneezes. To avoid unnecessary fatigue, I stayed standing until the crucial moment when I had to hang there like a spider in its web. The white silk and muslin of the curtains spread out before me in large folds, resembling organ pipes. With my penknife, I made small openings in them so I could see through."

“I heard vague murmurs from the salons, the laughter and the louder tones of the speakers. The smothered commotion and vague uproar lessened by slow degrees. One man and another came for his hat from the countess’ chest of drawers, close to where I stood. I shivered, if the curtains were disturbed, at the thought of the mischances consequent on the confused and hasty investigations made by the men in a hurry to depart, who were rummaging everywhere. When I experienced no misfortunes of this kind, I augured well of my enterprise. An old wooer of Foedora’s came for the last hat; he thought himself quite alone, looked at the bed, and heaved a great sigh, accompanied by some inaudible exclamation, into which he threw sufficient energy. In the boudoir close by, the countess, finding only some five or six intimate acquaintances about her, proposed tea. The scandals for which existing society has reserved the little faculty of belief that it retains, mingled with epigrams and trenchant witticisms, and the clatter of cups and spoons. Rastignac drew roars of laughter by merciless sarcasms at the expense of my rivals.

I heard faint whispers coming from the salons, the laughter and louder voices of the speakers. The muffled commotion and distant noise gradually faded. One by one, men came to grab their hats from the countess’s dresser, right near where I was standing. I felt a chill at the thought of the troubles that could arise from the hurried and chaotic searches by the men rushing to leave, digging through stuff everywhere. When nothing went wrong like that, I felt optimistic about my plans. An old suitor of Foedora’s came for the last hat; he thought he was completely alone, looked at the bed, and let out a deep sigh, along with some unheard exclamation packed with emotion. In the nearby boudoir, the countess, finding only about five or six close friends around her, suggested having tea. The gossip that society still barely believes mixed with sharp remarks and quick-witted jokes, alongside the clatter of cups and spoons. Rastignac had everyone in stitches with his ruthless sarcasm aimed at my competitors.

“‘M. de Rastignac is a man with whom it is better not to quarrel,’ said the countess, laughing.

“‘M. de Rastignac is someone you really shouldn’t mess with,’ said the countess, laughing.

“‘I am quite of that opinion,’ was his candid reply. ‘I have always been right about my aversions—and my friendships as well,’ he added. ‘Perhaps my enemies are quite as useful to me as my friends. I have made a particular study of modern phraseology, and of the natural craft that is used in all attack or defence. Official eloquence is one of our perfect social products.

“I completely agree,” was his honest reply. “I’ve always been spot on about my dislikes—and my friendships too,” he added. “Maybe my enemies are just as helpful to me as my friends. I’ve really studied modern language and the natural skills used in any attack or defense. Official eloquence is one of our finest social achievements.

“‘One of your friends is not clever, so you speak of his integrity and his candor. Another’s work is heavy; you introduce it as a piece of conscientious labor; and if the book is ill written, you extol the ideas it contains. Such an one is treacherous and fickle, slips through your fingers every moment; bah! he is attractive, bewitching, he is delightful! Suppose they are enemies, you fling every one, dead or alive, in their teeth. You reverse your phraseology for their benefit, and you are as keen in detecting their faults as you were before adroit in bringing out the virtues of your friends. This way of using the mental lorgnette is the secret of conversation nowadays, and the whole art of the complete courtier. If you neglect it, you might as well go out as an unarmed knight-banneret to fight against men in armor. And I make use of it, and even abuse it at times. So we are respected—I and my friends; and, moreover, my sword is quite as sharp as my tongue.’

"‘One of your friends isn't very bright, so you talk about his integrity and honesty. Another's work is tedious; you present it as a genuine effort; and if the book is poorly written, you praise the ideas it has. That kind of person is deceitful and unreliable, slipping away from you at every turn; ugh! They’re charming, captivating, and delightful! If they have enemies, you throw all their faults, whether real or imagined, right in their faces. You change your wording to help them out, and you become just as skilled at spotting their flaws as you were at highlighting your friends' good qualities. This way of using a mental magnifying glass is the key to conversation today, and it’s the whole art of being a perfect courtier. If you ignore it, you might as well go out as an unarmed knight trying to fight against armored men. And I use it, and sometimes even take advantage of it. That’s how my friends and I earn respect; plus, my sword is just as sharp as my tongue.’

“One of Foedora’s most fervid worshipers, whose presumption was notorious, and who even made it contribute to his success, took up the glove thrown down so scornfully by Rastignac. He began an unmeasured eulogy of me, my performances, and my character. Rastignac had overlooked this method of detraction. His sarcastic encomiums misled the countess, who sacrificed without mercy; she betrayed my secrets, and derided my pretensions and my hopes, to divert her friends.

“One of Foedora’s biggest fans, known for his arrogance, even used it to his advantage, picked up the challenge thrown down so disdainfully by Rastignac. He launched into an excessive praise of me, my performances, and my character. Rastignac had missed this way of undermining someone. His sarcastic compliments misled the countess, who ruthlessly exposed my secrets and mocked my ambitions and hopes to entertain her friends.”

“‘There is a future before him,’ said Rastignac. ‘Some day he may be in a position to take a cruel revenge; his talents are at least equal to his courage; and I should consider those who attack him very rash, for he has a good memory——’

“‘There’s a future ahead of him,’ said Rastignac. ‘One day he might be able to take a harsh revenge; his skills are at least as strong as his bravery; and I’d say those who go after him are very reckless, because he has a great memory——’”

“‘And writes Memoirs,’ put in the countess, who seemed to object to the deep silence that prevailed.

“‘And writes Memoirs,’ interjected the countess, who appeared to be uncomfortable with the heavy silence that hung in the air.

“‘Memoirs of a sham countess, madame,’ replied Rastignac. ‘Another sort of courage is needed to write that sort of thing.’

“‘Memoirs of a fake countess, madame,’ Rastignac replied. ‘A different kind of courage is required to write that kind of stuff.’”

“‘I give him credit for plenty of courage,’ she answered; ‘he is faithful to me.’

“‘I give him a lot of credit for his courage,’ she replied; ‘he is loyal to me.’”

“I was greatly tempted to show myself suddenly among the railers, like the shade of Banquo in Macbeth. I should have lost a mistress, but I had a friend! But love inspired me all at once, with one of those treacherous and fallacious subtleties that it can use to soothe all our pangs.

“I was really tempted to suddenly appear among the critics, like the ghost of Banquo in Macbeth. I might have lost a lover, but I gained a friend! But love suddenly filled me with one of those deceitful and misleading tricks it uses to ease all our pain.

“If Foedora loved me, I thought, she would be sure to disguise her feelings by some mocking jest. How often the heart protests against a lie on the lips!

“If Foedora loved me, I thought, she would definitely hide her feelings with some sarcastic joke. How often does the heart rebel against a lie spoken aloud!

“Well, very soon my audacious rival, left alone with the countess, rose to go.

“Well, very soon my bold rival, left alone with the countess, got up to leave.

“‘What! already?’ asked she in a coaxing voice that set my heart beating. ‘Will you not give me a few more minutes? Have you nothing more to say to me? will you never sacrifice any of your pleasures for me?’

“‘What! already?’ she asked in a sweet, teasing voice that made my heart race. ‘Can't you give me a few more minutes? Don't you have anything else to say to me? Will you never give up any of your fun for me?’”

“He went away.

“He left.

“‘Ah!’ she yawned; ‘how very tiresome they all are!’

“‘Ah!’ she yawned; ‘how boring they all are!’”

“She pulled a cord energetically till the sound of a bell rang through the place; then, humming a few notes of Pria che spunti, the countess entered her room. No one had ever heard her sing; her muteness had called forth the wildest explanations. She had promised her first lover, so it was said, who had been held captive by her talent, and whose jealousy over her stretched beyond his grave, that she would never allow others to experience a happiness that he wished to be his and his alone.

“She pulled a cord energetically until the sound of a bell echoed through the place; then, humming a few notes of Pria che spunti, the countess entered her room. No one had ever heard her sing; her silence had sparked the wildest explanations. It was said that she had promised her first lover, who had been captivated by her talent and whose jealousy over her extended even beyond his grave, that she would never let others experience a happiness he wished to be his and his alone.”

“I exerted every power of my soul to catch the sounds. Higher and higher rose the notes; Foedora’s life seemed to dilate within her; her throat poured forth all its richest tones; something well-nigh divine entered into the melody. There was a bright purity and clearness of tone in the countess’ voice, a thrilling harmony which reached the heart and stirred its pulses. Musicians are seldom unemotional; a woman who could sing like that must know how to love indeed. Her beautiful voice made one more puzzle in a woman mysterious enough before. I beheld her then, as plainly as I see you at this moment. She seemed to listen to herself, to experience a secret rapture of her own; she felt, as it were, an ecstasy like that of love.

“I used every bit of my soul to catch the sounds. The notes rose higher and higher; Foedora’s life seemed to expand within her; her throat released all its richest tones; something almost divine flowed into the melody. There was a bright purity and clarity in the countess’s voice, a thrilling harmony that touched the heart and quickened its beats. Musicians are rarely unemotional; a woman who can sing like that must truly know how to love. Her beautiful voice added another layer of mystery to an already enigmatic woman. I saw her then, as clearly as I see you now. She seemed to listen to herself, experiencing a secret joy of her own; she felt an ecstasy similar to that of love.

“She stood before the hearth during the execution of the principal theme of the rondo; and when she ceased her face changed. She looked tired; her features seemed to alter. She had laid the mask aside; her part as an actress was over. Yet the faded look that came over her beautiful face, a result either of this performance or of the evening’s fatigues, had its charms, too.

“She stood in front of the fireplace while playing the main theme of the rondo; and when she stopped, her expression changed. She looked exhausted; her features seemed different. She had set the mask aside; her role as an actress was done. Yet the worn look that came over her beautiful face, either from this performance or from the evening's tiredness, also had its own appeal.

“‘This is her real self,’ I thought.

“‘This is who she really is,’ I thought.

“She set her foot on a bronze bar of the fender as if to warm it, took off her gloves, and drew over her head the gold chain from which her bejeweled scent-bottle hung. It gave me a quite indescribable pleasure to watch the feline grace of every movement; the supple grace a cat displays as it adjusts its toilette in the sun. She looked at herself in the mirror and said aloud ill-humoredly—‘I did not look well this evening, my complexion is going with alarming rapidity; perhaps I ought to keep earlier hours, and give up this life of dissipation. Does Justine mean to trifle with me?’ She rang again; her maid hurried in. Where she had been I cannot tell; she came in by a secret staircase. I was anxious to make a study of her. I had lodged accusations, in my romantic imaginings, against this invisible waiting-woman, a tall, well-made brunette.

“She placed her foot on a bronze bar of the fender as if to warm it, took off her gloves, and pulled over her head the gold chain from which her jeweled perfume bottle hung. It gave me an indescribable pleasure to watch the graceful elegance of every movement; the smooth grace a cat shows when it tidies itself in the sun. She looked at herself in the mirror and said aloud in a grumpy tone, ‘I didn’t look great this evening; my complexion is fading too quickly; maybe I should start going to bed earlier and give up this life of excess. Is Justine trying to mess with me?’ She rang the bell again; her maid rushed in. Where she had been, I couldn’t say; she came in through a hidden staircase. I was eager to study her. In my romantic imagination, I had accused this unseen maid, a tall, well-built brunette.”

“‘Did madame ring?’

"Did the lady call?"

“‘Yes, twice,’ answered Foedora; ‘are you really growing deaf nowadays?’

“‘Yes, twice,’ Foedora replied; ‘are you really losing your hearing these days?’

“‘I was preparing madame’s milk of almonds.’

“I was getting madame’s almond milk ready.”

“Justine knelt down before her, unlaced her sandals and drew them off, while her mistress lay carelessly back on her cushioned armchair beside the fire, yawned, and scratched her head. Every movement was perfectly natural; there was nothing whatever to indicate the secret sufferings or emotions with which I had credited her.

“Justine knelt before her, unfastened her sandals, and took them off, while her mistress lounged back in her cushioned armchair by the fire, yawning and scratching her head. Every movement was completely natural; there was nothing at all to suggest the hidden struggles or feelings I had assigned to her."

“‘George must be in love!’ she remarked. ‘I shall dismiss him. He has drawn the curtains again to-night. What does he mean by it?’

“‘George must be in love!’ she said. ‘I’m going to let him go. He pulled the curtains again tonight. What’s that all about?’”

“All the blood in my veins rushed to my heart at this observation, but no more was said about curtains.

“All the blood in my veins rushed to my heart at this observation, but nothing more was said about curtains.”

“‘Life is very empty,’ the countess went on. ‘Ah! be careful not to scratch me as you did yesterday. Just look here, I still have the marks of your nails about me,’ and she held out a silken knee. She thrust her bare feet into velvet slippers bound with swan’s-down, and unfastened her dress, while Justine prepared to comb her hair.

“‘Life feels so empty,’ the countess continued. ‘Oh! Be careful not to scratch me like you did yesterday. Look here, I still have the marks from your nails on me,’ and she showed her silken knee. She slipped her bare feet into velvet slippers trimmed with swan’s-down and unbuttoned her dress while Justine got ready to comb her hair.

“‘You ought to marry, madame, and have children.’

“You should get married, ma'am, and have kids.”

“‘Children!’ she cried; ‘it wants no more than that to finish me at once; and a husband! What man is there to whom I could——? Was my hair well arranged to-night?’

“‘Kids!’ she shouted; ‘that’s all it takes to finish me off right now; and a husband! What guy could I——? Was my hair styled okay tonight?’”

“‘Not particularly.’

“‘Not really.’”

“‘You are a fool!’

"You’re such a fool!"

“‘That way of crimping your hair too much is the least becoming way possible for you. Large, smooth curls suit you a great deal better.’

“‘That way of crimping your hair too much really doesn’t look good on you. Big, smooth curls look so much better.’”

“‘Really?’

"Seriously?"

“‘Yes, really, madame; that wavy style only looks nice in fair hair.’

“‘Yes, really, ma'am; that wavy style only looks good on light hair.’”

“‘Marriage? never, never! Marriage is a commercial arrangement, for which I was never made.’

“‘Marriage? Never, ever! Marriage is just a business deal, and I was never meant for that.’”

“What a disheartening scene for a lover! Here was a lonely woman, without friends or kin, without the religion of love, without faith in any affection. Yet however slightly she might feel the need to pour out her heart, a craving that every human being feels, it could only be satisfied by gossiping with her maid, by trivial and indifferent talk.... I grieved for her.

“What a sad scene for someone in love! Here was a lonely woman, without friends or family, without the joy of love, without trust in any kind of affection. Yet no matter how much she might long to share her feelings, a need that everyone experiences, it could only be met by chatting with her maid, through trivial and meaningless conversation.... I felt sorry for her.”

“Justine unlaced her. I watched her carefully when she was at last unveiled. Her maidenly form, in its rose-tinged whiteness, was visible through her shift in the taper light, as dazzling as some silver statue behind its gauze covering. No, there was no defect that need shrink from the stolen glances of love. Alas, a fair form will overcome the stoutest resolutions!

“Justine took off her laces. I watched her closely as she was finally revealed. Her youthful figure, wrapped in a soft pink-tinged whiteness, showed through her shift in the dim light, shining like a silver statue behind a sheer veil. No, there was nothing flawed that should hide from the secret glances of affection. Unfortunately, a beautiful figure can break the strongest resolve!

“The maid lighted the taper in the alabaster sconce that hung before the bed, while her mistress sat thoughtful and silent before the fire. Justine went for a warming-pan, turned down the bed, and helped to lay her mistress in it; then, after some further time spent in punctiliously rendering various services that showed how seriously Foedora respected herself, her maid left her. The countess turned to and fro several times, and sighed; she was ill at ease; faint, just perceptible sounds, like sighs of impatience, escaped from her lips. She reached out a hand to the table, and took a flask from it, from which she shook four or five drops of some brown liquid into some milk before taking it; again there followed some painful sighs, and the exclamation, ‘Mon Dieu!’

“The maid lit the candle in the alabaster sconce hanging by the bed, while her mistress sat quietly and deep in thought by the fire. Justine fetched a warming pan, turned down the bed, and helped her mistress settle in. After tending to various tasks that showed how much Foedora valued herself, her maid left. The countess tossed and turned several times, sighing; she felt restless, and faint, barely noticeable sounds like sighs of impatience escaped her lips. She reached for the table and grabbed a flask, shaking four or five drops of a brown liquid into some milk before drinking it; once again, there were painful sighs, followed by the exclamation, ‘Mon Dieu!’”

“The cry, and the tone in which it was uttered, wrung my heart. By degrees she lay motionless. This frightened me; but very soon I heard a sleeper’s heavy, regular breathing. I drew the rustling silk curtains apart, left my post, went to the foot of the bed, and gazed at her with feelings that I cannot define. She was so enchanting as she lay like a child, with her arm above her head; but the sweetness of the fair, quiet visage, surrounded by the lace, only irritated me. I had not been prepared for the torture to which I was compelled to submit.

“The cry and the way she said it broke my heart. Gradually, she lay still. This scared me, but soon I heard the deep, steady breathing of someone asleep. I pulled back the rustling silk curtains, left my spot, walked to the foot of the bed, and looked at her with feelings I can’t quite explain. She was so beautiful lying there like a child, with her arm above her head; but the sweetness of her fair, calm face, surrounded by lace, only frustrated me. I wasn't ready for the pain I had to endure.”

“‘Mon Dieu!’ that scrap of a thought which I understood not, but must even take as my sole light, had suddenly modified my opinion of Foedora. Trite or profoundly significant, frivolous or of deep import, the words might be construed as expressive of either pleasure or pain, of physical or of mental suffering. Was it a prayer or a malediction, a forecast or a memory, a fear or a regret? A whole life lay in that utterance, a life of wealth or of penury; perhaps it contained a crime!

“‘My God!’ that little thought I didn’t quite understand, but had to accept as my only guidance, suddenly changed how I saw Foedora. Whether it was simple or deeply meaningful, lighthearted or serious, the words could be interpreted as showing either joy or sorrow, physical or mental pain. Was it a prayer or a curse, a prediction or a memory, a worry or a regret? That expression held an entire life within it, a life of riches or poverty; maybe it even held a crime!”

“The mystery that lurked beneath this fair semblance of womanhood grew afresh; there were so many ways of explaining Foedora, that she became inexplicable. A sort of language seemed to flow from between her lips. I put thoughts and feelings into the accidents of her breathing, whether weak or regular, gentle, or labored. I shared her dreams; I would fain have divined her secrets by reading them through her slumber. I hesitated among contradictory opinions and decisions without number. I could not deny my heart to the woman I saw before me, with the calm, pure beauty in her face. I resolved to make one more effort. If I told her the story of my life, my love, my sacrifices, might I not awaken pity in her or draw a tear from her who never wept?

The mystery that lay beneath this beautiful exterior of womanhood grew stronger; there were so many ways to interpret Foedora that she became impossible to understand. A kind of language seemed to flow from her lips. I projected my thoughts and feelings onto the rhythm of her breathing, whether it was shallow or steady, soft or strained. I shared her dreams; I longed to uncover her secrets by interpreting them through her sleep. I wavered among countless conflicting opinions and decisions. I couldn’t deny my feelings for the woman in front of me, with the serene, pure beauty in her face. I decided to make one more attempt. If I shared the story of my life, my love, my sacrifices, could I not stir her compassion or bring a tear to the eyes of someone who never cried?

“As I set all my hopes on this last experiment, the sounds in the streets showed that day was at hand. For a moment’s space I pictured Foedora waking to find herself in my arms. I could have stolen softly to her side and slipped them about her in a close embrace. Resolved to resist the cruel tyranny of this thought, I hurried into the salon, heedless of any sounds I might make; but, luckily, I came upon a secret door leading to a little staircase. As I expected, the key was in the lock; I slammed the door, went boldly out into the court, and gained the street in three bounds, without looking round to see whether I was observed.

"As I pinned all my hopes on this final experiment, the sounds in the streets indicated that day was approaching. For a brief moment, I imagined Foedora waking up to find herself in my arms. I could have crept quietly to her side and wrapped my arms around her in a tight embrace. Determined to fight against the cruel grip of that thought, I rushed into the living room, not caring about any noise I might make; but, fortunately, I found a hidden door that led to a small staircase. Just as I expected, the key was in the lock; I slammed the door, stepped out confidently into the courtyard, and jumped into the street in three quick strides, without looking back to see if anyone had noticed me."

“A dramatist was to read a comedy at the countess’ house in two days’ time; I went thither, intending to outstay the others, so as to make a rather singular request to her; I meant to ask her to keep the following evening for me alone, and to deny herself to other comers; but when I found myself alone with her, my courage failed. Every tick of the clock alarmed me. It wanted only a quarter of an hour of midnight.

“A playwright was scheduled to perform a comedy at the countess’s house in two days. I went there, planning to stay longer than the others, so I could make a rather unusual request to her; I wanted to ask her to reserve the following evening just for me and to turn away anyone else who wanted to come. But when I found myself alone with her, my courage deserted me. Every tick of the clock made me anxious. It was only fifteen minutes until midnight.”

“‘If I do not speak,’ I thought to myself, ‘I must smash my head against the corner of the mantelpiece.’

“‘If I don’t speak,’ I thought to myself, ‘I have to smash my head against the corner of the mantelpiece.’”

“I gave myself three minutes’ grace; the three minutes went by, and I did not smash my head upon the marble; my heart grew heavy, like a sponge with water.

“I gave myself three minutes of grace; the three minutes passed, and I didn’t slam my head against the marble; my heart felt heavy, like a sponge soaked with water.

“‘You are exceedingly amusing,’ said she.

“You're hilarious,” she said.

“‘Ah, madame, if you could but understand me!’ I answered.

“‘Oh, ma'am, if only you could understand me!’ I replied.”

“‘What is the matter with you?’ she asked. ‘You are turning pale.’

“‘What's wrong with you?’ she asked. ‘You look pale.’”

“‘I am hesitating to ask a favor of you.’

“‘I’m hesitant to ask you for a favor.’”

“Her gesture revived my courage. I asked her to make the appointment with me.

“Her gesture gave me back my courage. I asked her to schedule the appointment with me."

“‘Willingly,’ she answered’ ‘but why will you not speak to me now?’

“‘Of course,’ she replied. ‘But why won’t you talk to me now?’”

“‘To be candid with you, I ought to explain the full scope of your promise: I want to spend this evening by your side, as if we were brother and sister. Have no fear; I am aware of your antipathies; you must have divined me sufficiently to feel sure that I should wish you to do nothing that could be displeasing to you; presumption, moreover, would not thus approach you. You have been a friend to me, you have shown me kindness and great indulgence; know, therefore, that to-morrow I must bid you farewell.—Do not take back your word,’ I exclaimed, seeing her about to speak, and I went away.

“Honestly, I need to explain exactly what I’m asking for: I want to spend this evening with you, almost like we’re siblings. Don’t worry; I know you have your dislikes; you must have figured me out enough to know that I wouldn’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable; I wouldn’t be so bold as to presume otherwise. You’ve been a good friend to me, showing kindness and patience; so, just know that tomorrow I have to say goodbye to you. —Please don’t take back your word,” I said, seeing her about to respond, and I walked away.

“At eight o’clock one evening towards the end of May, Foedora and I were alone together in her gothic boudoir. I feared no longer; I was secure of happiness. My mistress should be mine, or I would seek a refuge in death. I had condemned my faint-hearted love, and a man who acknowledges his weakness is strong indeed.

“At eight o’clock one evening towards the end of May, Foedora and I were alone together in her gothic bedroom. I no longer felt fear; I was sure of my happiness. My mistress was meant to be mine, or I would find comfort in death. I had judged my timid love, and a person who admits their weakness is truly strong.”

“The countess, in her blue cashmere gown, was reclining on a sofa, with her feet on a cushion. She wore an Oriental turban such as painters assign to early Hebrews; its strangeness added an indescribable coquettish grace to her attractions. A transitory charm seemed to have laid its spell on her face; it might have furnished the argument that at every instant we become new and unparalleled beings, without any resemblance to the us of the future or of the past. I had never yet seen her so radiant.

The countess, in her blue cashmere dress, was lounging on a sofa with her feet propped up on a cushion. She wore an Oriental turban that painters like to depict on early Hebrews; its unusualness added an indescribable flirtatious grace to her appeal. A fleeting charm seemed to have enchanted her face; it suggested that at every moment we transform into unique individuals, without any link to the us of the past or the future. I had never seen her look so radiant.

“‘Do you know that you have piqued my curiosity?’ she said, laughing.

“‘Did you know you've sparked my curiosity?’ she said, laughing.

“‘I will not disappoint it,’ I said quietly, as I seated myself near to her and took the hand that she surrendered to me. ‘You have a very beautiful voice!’

“I won’t let you down,” I said softly as I sat down next to her and took the hand she offered me. “You have a really beautiful voice!”

“‘You have never heard me sing!’ she exclaimed, starting involuntarily with surprise.

“‘You’ve never heard me sing!’ she exclaimed, instinctively taken aback.”

“‘I will prove that it is quite otherwise, whenever it is necessary. Is your delightful singing still to remain a mystery? Have no fear, I do not wish to penetrate it.’

“‘I’ll show you that it’s completely different whenever needed. Is your lovely singing still going to be a mystery? Don’t worry, I don’t want to uncover it.’”

“We spent about an hour in familiar talk. While I adopted the attitude and manner of a man to whom Foedora must refuse nothing, I showed her all a lover’s deference. Acting in this way, I received a favor—I was allowed to kiss her hand. She daintily drew off the glove, and my whole soul was dissolved and poured forth in that kiss. I was steeped in the bliss of an illusion in which I tried to believe.

“We spent about an hour chatting comfortably. While I took on the demeanor of a man whom Foedora couldn’t say no to, I showed her all the respect of a lover. By acting this way, I received a favor—I was allowed to kiss her hand. She carefully removed her glove, and my whole being melted away in that kiss. I was lost in the happiness of an illusion that I tried to convince myself was real.”

“Foedora lent herself most unexpectedly to my caress and my flatteries. Do not accuse me of faint-heartedness; if I had gone a step beyond these fraternal compliments, the claws would have been out of the sheath and into me. We remained perfectly silent for nearly ten minutes. I was admiring her, investing her with the charms she had not. She was mine just then, and mine only,—this enchanting being was mine, as was permissible, in my imagination; my longing wrapped her round and held her close; in my soul I wedded her. The countess was subdued and fascinated by my magnetic influence. Ever since I have regretted that this subjugation was not absolute; but just then I yearned for her soul, her heart alone, and for nothing else. I longed for an ideal and perfect happiness, a fair illusion that cannot last for very long. At last I spoke, feeling that the last hours of my frenzy were at hand.

“Foedora unexpectedly let me touch her and shower her with compliments. Don’t think I’m being timid; if I had gone beyond these friendly praises, things would have gotten intense. We stayed completely silent for almost ten minutes. I was admiring her, imagining her with qualities she didn’t actually have. She was mine in that moment, and only mine—this enchanting person belonged to me in my imagination; my desire wrapped around her and held her close; in my heart, I married her. The countess was captivated by my presence. I've regretted since then that this control wasn’t complete; but at that moment, I only wanted her soul and her heart, nothing else. I craved an ideal and perfect happiness, a beautiful illusion that can’t last for long. Eventually, I spoke, sensing that my moments of madness were drawing to a close.”

“‘Hear me, madame. I love you, and you know it; I have said so a hundred times; you must have understood me. I would not take upon me the airs of a coxcomb, nor would I flatter you, nor urge myself upon you like a fool; I would not owe your love to such arts as these! so I have been misunderstood. What sufferings have I not endured for your sake! For these, however, you were not to blame; but in a few minutes you shall decide for yourself. There are two kinds of poverty, madame. One kind openly walks the street in rags, an unconscious imitator of Diogenes, on a scanty diet, reducing life to its simplest terms; he is happier, maybe, than the rich; he has fewer cares at any rate, and accepts such portions of the world as stronger spirits refuse. Then there is poverty in splendor, a Spanish pauper, concealing the life of a beggar by his title, his bravery, and his pride; poverty that wears a white waistcoat and yellow kid gloves, a beggar with a carriage, whose whole career will be wrecked for lack of a halfpenny. Poverty of the first kind belongs to the populace; the second kind is that of blacklegs, of kings, and of men of talent. I am neither a man of the people, nor a king, nor a swindler; possibly I have no talent either, I am an exception. With the name I bear I must die sooner than beg. Set your mind at rest, madame,’ I said; ‘to-day I have abundance, I possess sufficient of the clay for my needs’; for the hard look passed over her face which we wear whenever a well-dressed beggar takes us by surprise. ‘Do you remember the day when you wished to go to the Gymnase without me, never believing that I should be there?’ I went on.

“‘Listen to me, madam. I love you, and you know it; I’ve said it a hundred times; you must have understood me. I wouldn’t act like a fool, nor would I flatter you, nor push myself on you like an idiot; I wouldn’t want your love to come from tricks like these! So I’ve been misunderstood. What pain have I not endured for you! For these, though, you’re not to blame; but in a few minutes, you’ll decide for yourself. There are two types of poverty, madam. One type openly walks the streets in rags, an unintentional version of Diogenes, living on a bare minimum, reducing life to its simplest terms; he might be happier than the rich; at least he has fewer worries and accepts what stronger souls reject. Then there’s poverty in luxury, a Spanish beggar, hiding a beggar’s life behind his title, his bravery, and his pride; poverty that wears a white waistcoat and yellow kid gloves, a beggar with a carriage, whose entire life could collapse for want of a penny. The first kind of poverty belongs to the masses; the second kind belongs to conmen, kings, and talented people. I’m neither a common man, nor a king, nor a fraud; I might lack talent too; I’m an exception. With the name I carry, I’d rather die than beg. Rest easy, madam,’ I said; ‘today I have enough, I have enough for my needs’; for the hard look that crossed her face is the one we wear whenever a well-dressed beggar surprises us. ‘Do you remember the day you wanted to go to the Gymnase without me, never believing I’d be there?’ I continued.

“She nodded.

“She agreed.

“‘I had laid out my last five-franc piece that I might see you there.—Do you recollect our walk in the Jardin des Plantes? The hire of your cab took everything I had.’

“‘I had spent my last five-franc coin just to see you there. Do you remember our walk in the Jardin des Plantes? The cost of your cab took everything I had.’”

“I told her about my sacrifices, and described the life I led; heated not with wine, as I am to-day, but by the generous enthusiasm of my heart, my passion overflowed in burning words; I have forgotten how the feelings within me blazed forth; neither memory nor skill of mine could possibly reproduce it. It was no colorless chronicle of blighted affections; my love was strengthened by fair hopes; and such words came to me, by love’s inspiration, that each had power to set forth a whole life—like echoes of the cries of a soul in torment. In such tones the last prayers ascend from dying men on the battlefield. I stopped, for she was weeping. Grand Dieu! I had reaped an actor’s reward, the success of a counterfeit passion displayed at the cost of five francs paid at the theatre door. I had drawn tears from her.

“I told her about my sacrifices and described the life I lived; fueled not by wine, like I am today, but by the genuine enthusiasm of my heart. My passion overflowed in intense words; I’ve forgotten how the feelings within me erupted; neither my memory nor my skill could possibly recreate it. It was no bland story of unfulfilled love; my love was strengthened by hopeful dreams; and such words came to me, inspired by love, that each one had the power to represent an entire life—like echoes of a soul in agony. In such tones, the last prayers rise from dying men on the battlefield. I paused, for she was crying. Grand Dieu! I had received an actor’s reward, the success of a fake passion displayed at the cost of five francs paid at the theater door. I had drawn tears from her.

“‘If I had known——’ she said.

“‘If I had known——’ she said.

“‘Do not finish the sentence,’ I broke in. ‘Even now I love you well enough to murder you——’

“‘Don’t finish that sentence,’ I interrupted. ‘I still love you enough to kill you——’”

“She reached for the bell-pull. I burst into a roar of laughter.

“She reached for the doorbell. I burst out laughing.”

“‘Do not call any one,’ I said. ‘I shall leave you to finish your life in peace. It would be a blundering kind of hatred that would murder you! You need not fear violence of any kind; I have spent a whole night at the foot of your bed without——’

“‘Don’t call anyone,’ I said. ‘I’ll let you live out your life in peace. It would be a stupid kind of hatred that would kill you! You don’t need to worry about any violence; I spent a whole night at the foot of your bed without——’

“‘Monsieur——’ she said, blushing; but after that first impulse of modesty that even the most hardened women must surely own, she flung a scornful glance at me, and said:

“‘Sir——’ she said, blushing; but after that initial moment of modesty that even the toughest women must have, she shot me a scornful look and said:

“‘You must have been very cold.’

‘You must have been really cold.’

“‘Do you think that I set such value on your beauty, madame,’ I answered, guessing the thoughts that moved her. ‘Your beautiful face is for me a promise of a soul yet more beautiful. Madame, those to whom a woman is merely a woman can always purchase odalisques fit for the seraglio, and achieve their happiness at a small cost. But I aspired to something higher; I wanted the life of close communion of heart and heart with you that have no heart. I know that now. If you were to belong to another, I could kill him. And yet, no; for you would love him, and his death might hurt you perhaps. What agony this is!’ I cried.

“‘Do you really think I value your beauty that much, madame?’ I replied, sensing what she was feeling. ‘Your lovely face is a sign of an even more beautiful soul. Madame, those who see a woman as just a woman can easily buy beautiful courtesans and find happiness without much effort. But I wanted something deeper; I longed for a close connection of heart with you, who seem to have no heart. I realize that now. If you were with someone else, I could kill him. But then again, no; because you would love him, and his death might hurt you. What torment this is!’ I exclaimed.

“‘If it is any comfort to you,’ she retorted cheerfully, ‘I can assure you that I shall never belong to any one——’

“‘If it helps you feel better,’ she replied cheerfully, ‘I can promise you that I will never belong to anyone——’”

“‘So you offer an affront to God Himself,’ I interrupted; ‘and you will be punished for it. Some day you will lie upon your sofa suffering unheard-of ills, unable to endure the light or the slightest sound, condemned to live as it were in the tomb. Then, when you seek the causes of those lingering and avenging torments, you will remember the woes that you distributed so lavishly upon your way. You have sown curses, and hatred will be your reward. We are the real judges, the executioners of a justice that reigns here below, which overrules the justice of man and the laws of God.’

“‘So you insult God Himself,’ I interrupted; ‘and you’ll pay for it. One day you’ll be lying on your couch, suffering from unheard-of pains, unable to bear the light or the slightest sound, trapped in a living tomb. Then, when you try to figure out the reasons for those lingering and punishing torments, you’ll remember the misery you spread so generously along your path. You’ve sown curses, and hatred will be your reward. We are the true judges, the enforcers of a justice that exists right here, which overrides human justice and the laws of God.’”

“‘No doubt it is very culpable in me not to love you,’ she said, laughing. ‘Am I to blame? No. I do not love you; you are a man, that is sufficient. I am happy by myself; why should I give up my way of living, a selfish way, if you will, for the caprices of a master? Marriage is a sacrament by virtue of which each imparts nothing but vexations to the other. Children, moreover, worry me. Did I not faithfully warn you about my nature? Why are you not satisfied to have my friendship? I wish I could make you amends for all the troubles I have caused you, through not guessing the value of your poor five-franc pieces. I appreciate the extent of your sacrifices; but your devotion and delicate tact can be repaid by love alone, and I care so little for you, that this scene has a disagreeable effect upon me.’

“‘There's no doubt that it's pretty wrong of me not to love you,’ she said, laughing. ‘Am I to blame? No. I don’t love you; just being a man is enough. I’m happy on my own; why should I give up my way of life, a selfish way, if you want to call it that, for the whims of a master? Marriage is a sacrament that brings nothing but annoyances to both people. Kids, too, stress me out. Didn’t I warn you honestly about who I am? Why aren’t you satisfied with just my friendship? I wish I could make up for all the trouble I’ve caused you by not seeing the worth of your poor five-franc coins. I see how much you’ve sacrificed; but your devotion and sensitivity can only be matched by love, and I care so little for you that this whole scene is really unpleasant for me.’”

“‘I am fully aware of my absurdity,’ I said, unable to restrain my tears. ‘Pardon me,’ I went on, ‘it was a delight to hear those cruel words you have just uttered, so well I love you. O, if I could testify my love with every drop of blood in me!’

“‘I know how ridiculous I am,’ I said, unable to hold back my tears. ‘Excuse me,’ I continued, ‘it was a pleasure to hear those harsh words you just said, because I love you so much. Oh, if I could prove my love with every drop of blood in me!’”

“‘Men always repeat these classic formulas to us, more or less effectively,’ she answered, still smiling. ‘But it appears very difficult to die at our feet, for I see corpses of that kind about everywhere. It is twelve o’clock. Allow me to go to bed.’

“‘Men always say these same old things to us, whether they mean it or not,’ she replied, still smiling. ‘But it seems really hard to die at our feet, since I see those kinds of corpses everywhere. It’s twelve o’clock. Please let me go to bed.’”

“‘And in two hours’ time you will cry to yourself, Ah, mon Dieu!’

“‘And in two hours, you will be saying to yourself, Oh my God!’”

“‘Like the day before yesterday! Yes,’ she said, ‘I was thinking of my stockbroker; I had forgotten to tell him to convert my five per cent stock into threes, and the three per cents had fallen during the day.’

“‘Just like the day before yesterday! Yes,’ she said, ‘I was thinking about my stockbroker; I forgot to tell him to convert my five percent stock into threes, and the three percent stocks dropped during the day.’”

“I looked at her, and my eyes glittered with anger. Sometimes a crime may be a whole romance; I understood that just then. She was so accustomed, no doubt, to the most impassioned declarations of this kind, that my words and my tears were forgotten already.

“I looked at her, and my eyes sparkled with anger. Sometimes a crime can feel like a whole romance; I realized that in that moment. She was probably so used to the most passionate declarations like mine that my words and my tears were already forgotten.”

“‘Would you marry a peer of France?’ I demanded abruptly.

“Would you marry a noble from France?” I asked suddenly.

“‘If he were a duke, I might.’

“‘If he were a duke, I might.’”

“I seized my hat and made her a bow.

“I grabbed my hat and bowed to her.

“‘Permit me to accompany you to the door,’ she said, cutting irony in her tones, in the poise of her head, and in her gesture.

“‘Let me walk you to the door,’ she said, her tone laced with irony, reflected in her posture and her gesture.”

“‘Madame——’

"‘Madam——’"

“‘Monsieur?’

“‘Sir?’”

“‘I shall never see you again.’

“I will never see you again.”

“‘I hope not,’ and she insolently inclined her head.

“‘I hope not,’ she said with a disrespectful tilt of her head.”

“‘You wish to be a duchess?’ I cried, excited by a sort of madness that her insolence roused in me. ‘You are wild for honors and titles? Well, only let me love you; bid my pen write and my voice speak for you alone; be the inmost soul of my life, my guiding star! Then, only accept me for your husband as a minister, a peer of France, a duke. I will make of myself whatever you would have me be!’

“‘You want to be a duchess?’ I exclaimed, driven mad by the boldness she stirred in me. ‘You’re crazy for honors and titles? Well, just let me love you; tell my pen to write and my voice to speak only for you; be the deepest part of my life, my guiding star! Then, just accept me as your husband, as a minister, a noble of France, a duke. I’ll become whatever you want me to be!’”

“‘You made good use of the time you spent with the advocate,’ she said smiling. ‘There is a fervency about your pleadings.’

“‘You really made good use of the time with the lawyer,’ she said, smiling. ‘There’s a passion in your arguments.’

“‘The present is yours,’ I cried, ‘but the future is mine! I only lose a woman; you are losing a name and a family. Time is big with my revenge; time will spoil your beauty, and yours will be a solitary death; and glory waits for me!’

“The present is yours,” I shouted, “but the future is mine! I’m just losing a woman; you’re losing a name and a family. Time is full of my revenge; time will tarnish your beauty, and you’ll die alone; and glory is waiting for me!”

“‘Thanks for your peroration!’ she said, repressing a yawn; the wish that she might never see me again was expressed in her whole bearing.

“‘Thanks for your speech!’ she said, stifling a yawn; her entire demeanor showed that she hoped to never see me again.”

“That remark silenced me. I flung at her a glance full of hatred, and hurried away.

“That comment silenced me. I shot her a look full of hatred and hurried away.

“Foedora must be forgotten; I must cure myself of my infatuation, and betake myself once more to my lonely studies, or die. So I set myself tremendous tasks; I determined to complete my labors. For fifteen days I never left my garret, spending whole nights in pallid thought. I worked with difficulty, and by fits and starts, despite my courage and the stimulation of despair. The music had fled. I could not exorcise the brilliant mocking image of Foedora. Something morbid brooded over every thought, a vague longing as dreadful as remorse. I imitated the anchorites of the Thebaid. If I did not pray as they did, I lived a life in the desert like theirs, hewing out my ideas as they were wont to hew their rocks. I could at need have girdled my waist with spikes, that physical suffering might quell mental anguish.

"Foedora has to be forgotten; I need to get over my obsession and return to my solitary studies, or I'll perish. So, I set myself huge tasks; I resolved to finish my work. For fifteen days, I never left my room, spending entire nights lost in pale thoughts. I worked hard, but in fits and starts, despite my determination and the push of despair. The music had vanished. I couldn't shake off the vivid and mocking image of Foedora. There was something morbid hovering over every thought, a vague longing as terrible as guilt. I emulated the hermits of the Thebaid. Even if I didn’t pray like they did, I lived a desert-like existence, chipping away at my ideas as they used to carve their rocks. I could have easily tied something sharp around my waist, hoping that physical pain would ease my mental suffering."

“One evening Pauline found her way into my room.

“One evening, Pauline came into my room.

“‘You are killing yourself,’ she said imploringly; ‘you should go out and see your friends——’

“‘You’re hurting yourself,’ she said pleadingly; ‘you should go out and see your friends——’

“‘Pauline, you were a true prophet; Foedora is killing me, I want to die. My life is intolerable.’

“‘Pauline, you were right; Foedora is killing me, I want to die. My life is unbearable.’”

“‘Is there only one woman in the world?’ she asked, smiling. ‘Why make yourself so miserable in so short a life?’

“‘Is there only one woman in the world?’ she asked with a smile. ‘Why make yourself so unhappy in such a short life?’”

“I looked at Pauline in bewilderment. She left me before I noticed her departure; the sound of her words had reached me, but not their sense. Very soon I had to take my Memoirs in manuscript to my literary-contractor. I was so absorbed by my passion, that I could not remember how I had managed to live without money; I only knew that the four hundred and fifty francs due to me would pay my debts. So I went to receive my salary, and met Rastignac, who thought me changed and thinner.

“I looked at Pauline in confusion. She left without me realizing it; I heard her words, but their meaning didn’t register. Soon, I had to take my manuscript of Memoirs to my publisher. I was so caught up in my passion that I couldn’t recall how I had survived without money; all I knew was that the four hundred and fifty francs owed to me would cover my debts. So I went to collect my paycheck and ran into Rastignac, who thought I seemed different and thinner.”

“‘What hospital have you been discharged from?’ he asked.

“‘Which hospital were you discharged from?’ he asked.

“‘That woman is killing me,’ I answered; ‘I can neither despise her nor forget her.’

“‘That woman is driving me crazy,’ I replied; ‘I can neither hate her nor forget her.’”

“‘You had much better kill her, then perhaps you would think no more of her,’ he said, laughing.

“‘You really should just kill her; then maybe you wouldn’t think about her anymore,’ he said, laughing.

“‘I have often thought of it,’ I replied; ‘but though sometimes the thought of a crime revives my spirits, of violence and murder, either or both, I am really incapable of carrying out the design. The countess is an admirable monster who would crave for pardon, and not every man is an Othello.’

“'I’ve thought about it a lot,' I replied; 'but even though the idea of a crime sometimes lifts my spirits, whether it’s violence or murder, I really can’t go through with it. The countess is an impressive monster who would seek forgiveness, and not every man is an Othello.'”

“‘She is like every woman who is beyond our reach,’ Rastignac interrupted.

“‘She’s just like every woman we can’t have,’ Rastignac interrupted.

“‘I am mad,’ I cried; ‘I can feel the madness raging at times in my brain. My ideas are like shadows; they flit before me, and I cannot grasp them. Death would be preferable to this life, and I have carefully considered the best way of putting an end to the struggle. I am not thinking of the living Foedora in the Faubourg Saint Honore, but of my Foedora here,’ and I tapped my forehead. ‘What to you say to opium?’

“I’m losing my mind,” I exclaimed; “I can feel the madness sometimes surging in my head. My thoughts are like shadows; they dart in front of me, but I can’t catch them. Death would be better than this life, and I’ve thought a lot about the best way to end this fight. I’m not talking about the living Foedora in the Faubourg Saint Honore, but about my Foedora here,” and I tapped my forehead. “What do you think about opium?”

“‘Pshaw! horrid agonies,’ said Rastignac.

“‘Pshaw! awful pain,’ said Rastignac.

“‘Or charcoal fumes?’

“‘Or charcoal smoke?’”

“‘A low dodge.’

"A quick dodge."

“‘Or the Seine?’

“‘Or the Seine?’”

“‘The drag-nets, and the Morgue too, are filthy.’

“‘The drag nets and the morgue are both disgusting.’”

“‘A pistol-shot?’

“‘A gunshot?’”

“‘And if you miscalculate, you disfigure yourself for life. Listen to me,’ he went on, ‘like all young men, I have pondered over suicide. Which of us hasn’t killed himself two or three times before he is thirty? I find there is no better course than to use existence as a means of pleasure. Go in for thorough dissipation, and your passion or you will perish in it. Intemperance, my dear fellow, commands all forms of death. Does she not wield the thunderbolt of apoplexy? Apoplexy is a pistol-shot that does not miscalculate. Orgies are lavish in all physical pleasures; is not that the small change for opium? And the riot that makes us drink to excess bears a challenge to mortal combat with wine. That butt of Malmsey of the Duke of Clarence’s must have had a pleasanter flavor than Seine mud. When we sink gloriously under the table, is not that a periodical death by drowning on a small scale? If we are picked up by the police and stretched out on those chilly benches of theirs at the police-station, do we not enjoy all the pleasures of the Morgue? For though we are not blue and green, muddy and swollen corpses, on the other hand we have the consciousness of the climax.

“‘And if you make a mistake, you’ll be stuck with it for life. Listen to me,’ he continued, ‘like all young men, I’ve thought about suicide. Who hasn’t imagined doing it a couple of times before turning thirty? I’ve found there’s no better way than to use life for enjoyment. Go all in for indulgence, or your passion will consume you. Excess, my friend, brings about all kinds of death. Doesn’t it wield the thunderbolt of a stroke? A stroke is like a gunshot that hits its target. Orgies are overflowing with physical pleasures; isn’t that just a small price to pay for opium? And the wild nights that make us drink too much challenge us to a life-or-death fight with alcohol. That butt of Malmsey from the Duke of Clarence must have tasted better than the mud of the Seine. When we gloriously pass out under the table, isn’t that just a little death from drowning? If we get picked up by the cops and laid out on their cold benches at the station, don’t we experience all the joys of the Morgue? For while we may not be blue and green, muddy and bloated corpses, on the other hand, we do have the awareness of reaching a climax.’”

“‘Ah,’ he went on, ‘this protracted suicide has nothing in common with the bankrupt grocer’s demise. Tradespeople have brought the river into disrepute; they fling themselves in to soften their creditors’ hearts. In your place I should endeavor to die gracefully; and if you wish to invent a novel way of doing it, by struggling with life after this manner, I will be your second. I am disappointed and sick of everything. The Alsacienne, whom it was proposed that I should marry, had six toes on her left foot; I cannot possibly live with a woman who has six toes! It would get about to a certainty, and then I should be ridiculous. Her income was only eighteen thousand francs; her fortune diminished in quantity as her toes increased. The devil take it; if we begin an outrageous sort of life, we may come on some bit of luck, perhaps!’

“‘Ah,’ he continued, ‘this long, drawn-out way of dying has nothing to do with the failed grocer’s end. Businesspeople have tarnished the river’s reputation; they jump in hoping to soften their creditors' hearts. If I were you, I’d try to die with some dignity; and if you want to come up with a new way to do it, by fighting against life like this, I’ll back you up. I’m just disappointed and fed up with everything. The woman from Alsace, whom I was supposed to marry, had six toes on her left foot; I can’t possibly live with a woman who has six toes! Word would get out for sure, and then I’d look foolish. Her income was only eighteen thousand francs; her wealth decreased along with her toes. Damn it; if we start living in a crazy way, we might just stumble upon some luck, maybe!’”

“Rastignac’s eloquence carried me away. The attractions of the plan shone too temptingly, hopes were kindled, the poetical aspects of the matter appealed to a poet.

“Rastignac’s charm swept me off my feet. The allure of the idea was too enticing, hopes were ignited, and the poetic side of it resonated with a poet.”

“‘How about money?’ I said.

"How about cash?" I said.

“‘Haven’t you four hundred and fifty francs?’

“‘Don’t you have four hundred and fifty francs?’”

“‘Yes, but debts to my landlady and the tailor——’

“‘Yes, but I owe money to my landlady and the tailor——’

“‘You would pay your tailor? You will never be anything whatever, not so much as a minister.’

“‘You would pay your tailor? You’ll never be anything at all, not even a minister.’”

“‘But what can one do with twenty louis?’

“‘But what can you do with twenty louis?’”

“‘Go to the gaming-table.’

"Go to the game table."

“I shuddered.

I felt a shiver.

“‘You are going to launch out into what I call systematic dissipation,’ said he, noticing my scruples, ‘and yet you are afraid of a green table-cloth.’

“‘You’re about to dive into what I call systematic wastefulness,’ he said, noticing my hesitations, ‘and yet you’re scared of a green tablecloth.’”

“‘Listen to me,’ I answered. ‘I promised my father never to set foot in a gaming-house. Not only is that a sacred promise, but I still feel an unconquerable disgust whenever I pass a gambling-hell; take the money and go without me. While our fortune is at stake, I will set my own affairs straight, and then I will go to your lodgings and wait for you.’

“‘Listen to me,’ I replied. ‘I promised my father I would never go into a casino. Not only is that a sacred promise, but I can’t shake the strong feeling of disgust I get whenever I walk past a gambling hall; take the money and go without me. While our fortune is at risk, I’ll take care of my own business, and then I’ll go to your place and wait for you.’”

“That was the way I went to perdition. A young man has only to come across a woman who will not love him, or a woman who loves him too well, and his whole life becomes a chaos. Prosperity swallows up our energy just as adversity obscures our virtues. Back once more in my Hotel de Saint-Quentin, I gazed about me a long while in the garret where I had led my scholar’s temperate life, a life which would perhaps have been a long and honorable one, and that I ought not to have quitted for the fevered existence which had urged me to the brink of a precipice. Pauline surprised me in this dejected attitude.

"That’s how I ended up losing everything. A young man only needs to meet a woman who won’t love him, or one who loves him too much, and his entire life turns into chaos. Success drains our energy just as failure dims our virtues. Back once again in my Hotel de Saint-Quentin, I looked around for a long time in the attic where I had lived my focused life as a scholar—a life that could have been long and honorable, and one I shouldn’t have left for the stressful existence that pushed me to the edge. Pauline caught me in this sad state."

“‘Why, what is the matter with you?’ she asked.

“‘What’s wrong with you?’ she asked.

“I rose and quietly counted out the money owing to her mother, and added to it sufficient to pay for six months’ rent in advance. She watched me in some alarm.

“I got up and quietly counted out the money I owed her mom, and added enough to cover six months’ rent in advance. She watched me with a bit of worry.”

“‘I am going to leave you, dear Pauline.’

“‘I’m going to leave you, dear Pauline.’”

“‘I knew it!’ she exclaimed.

"I knew it!" she said.

“‘Listen, my child. I have not given up the idea of coming back. Keep my room for me for six months. If I do not return by the fifteenth of November, you will come into possession of my things. This sealed packet of manuscript is the fair copy of my great work on “The Will,”’ I went on, pointing to a package. ‘Will you deposit it in the King’s Library? And you may do as you wish with everything that is left here.’

“Listen, my child. I haven’t given up on the idea of coming back. Hold my room for me for six months. If I don’t return by November 15th, you can take my things. This sealed packet of manuscript is the clean copy of my great work on “The Will,” I continued, pointing to a package. Will you take it to the King’s Library? And you can do whatever you want with everything else that’s left here.”

“Her look weighed heavily on my heart; Pauline was an embodiment of conscience there before me.

“Her gaze weighed heavily on my heart; Pauline was the personification of my conscience right in front of me.”

“‘I shall have no more lessons,’ she said, pointing to the piano.

“I’m done with lessons,” she said, pointing to the piano.

“I did not answer that.

“I didn't answer that."

“‘Will you write to me?’

"Will you text me?"

“‘Good-bye, Pauline.’

“‘Bye, Pauline.’”

“I gently drew her towards me, and set a kiss on that innocent fair brow of hers, like snow that has not yet touched the earth—a father’s or a brother’s kiss. She fled. I would not see Madame Gaudin, hung my key in its wonted place, and departed. I was almost at the end of the Rue de Cluny when I heard a woman’s light footstep behind me.

"I gently pulled her closer and kissed her innocent forehead, like untouched snow—a father’s or a brother’s kiss. She ran away. I wasn’t interested in seeing Madame Gaudin, so I hung my key in its usual spot and left. I was almost at the end of the Rue de Cluny when I heard a woman’s light footsteps behind me."

“‘I have embroidered this purse for you,’ Pauline said; ‘will you refuse even that?’

“I made this purse for you,” Pauline said; “will you really turn it down?”

“By the light of the street lamp I thought I saw tears in Pauline’s eyes, and I groaned. Moved perhaps by a common impulse, we parted in haste like people who fear the contagion of the plague.

“By the light of the street lamp, I thought I saw tears in Pauline’s eyes, and I groaned. Maybe moved by a shared feeling, we hurriedly separated like people afraid of catching the plague.”

“As I waited with dignified calmness for Rastignac’s return, his room seemed a grotesque interpretation of the sort of life I was about to enter upon. The clock on the chimney-piece was surmounted by a Venus resting on her tortoise; a half-smoked cigar lay in her arms. Costly furniture of various kinds—love tokens, very likely—was scattered about. Old shoes lay on a luxurious sofa. The comfortable armchair into which I had thrown myself bore as many scars as a veteran; the arms were gnashed, the back was overlaid with a thick, stale deposit of pomade and hair-oil from the heads of all his visitors. Splendor and squalor were oddly mingled, on the walls, the bed, and everywhere. You might have thought of a Neapolitan palace and the groups of lazzaroni about it. It was the room of a gambler or a mauvais sujet, where the luxury exists for one individual, who leads the life of the senses and does not trouble himself over inconsistencies.

“As I waited calmly for Rastignac to return, his room looked like a bizarre version of the kind of life I was about to step into. The clock on the mantel was topped with a Venus resting on her tortoise, holding a half-smoked cigar in her arms. Expensive furniture—probably keepsakes from lovers—was scattered around. Old shoes were tossed on a plush sofa. The comfortable armchair I had flopped into showed as many scars as a battle-hardened veteran; the arms were scratched up, and the back was coated with a thick, stale layer of hair product from all his visitors. Luxury and filth were strangely mixed on the walls, the bed, and everywhere else. It reminded you of a Neapolitan palace surrounded by a group of street people. It was the room of a gambler or a bad character, where the luxury was just for one person, who indulged in a life of pleasure without worrying about any contradictions.”

“There was a certain imaginative element about the picture it presented. Life was suddenly revealed there in its rags and spangles as the incomplete thing it really is, of course, but so vividly and picturesquely; it was like a den where a brigand has heaped up all the plunder in which he delights. Some pages were missing from a copy of Byron’s poems: they had gone to light a fire of a few sticks for this young person, who played for stakes of a thousand francs, and had not a faggot; he kept a tilbury, and had not a whole shirt to his back. Any day a countess or an actress or a run of luck at ecarte might set him up with an outfit worthy of a king. A candle had been stuck into the green bronze sheath of a vestaholder; a woman’s portrait lay yonder, torn out of its carved gold setting. How was it possible that a young man, whose nature craved excitement, could renounce a life so attractive by reason of its contradictions; a life that afforded all the delights of war in the midst of peace? I was growing drowsy when Rastignac kicked the door open and shouted:

“There was something imaginative about the picture it presented. Life was suddenly revealed there in its rags and sequins as the incomplete thing it truly is, but so vividly and artistically; it was like a hideout where a bandit has piled all the treasure he enjoys. Some pages were missing from a copy of Byron’s poems: they had been used to light a fire with a few sticks for this young guy, who played for stakes of a thousand francs and didn’t even have a bundle of wood; he owned a carriage but had no complete shirt on his back. Any day a countess, an actress, or a lucky streak at cards could set him up with an outfit fit for a king. A candle had been stuck into the green bronze sheath of a candleholder; a woman’s portrait lay over there, torn from its ornate gold frame. How could a young man, whose nature craved excitement, give up a life so appealing in its contradictions; a life that offered all the thrills of war in the middle of peace? I was growing drowsy when Rastignac kicked the door open and shouted:"

“‘Victory! Now we can take our time about dying.’

“‘Victory! Now we can take our time to die.’”

“He held out his hat filled with gold to me, and put it down on the table; then we pranced round it like a pair of cannibals about to eat a victim; we stamped, and danced, and yelled, and sang; we gave each other blows fit to kill an elephant, at sight of all the pleasures of the world contained in that hat.

“He held out his hat filled with gold to me and placed it on the table; then we danced around it like a couple of cannibals about to feast on a victim; we stomped, danced, yelled, and sang; we exchanged punches strong enough to take down an elephant, overwhelmed by all the joys of the world contained in that hat."

“‘Twenty-seven thousand francs,’ said Rastignac, adding a few bank-notes to the pile of gold. ‘That would be enough for other folk to live upon; will it be sufficient for us to die on? Yes! we will breathe our last in a bath of gold—hurrah!’ and we capered afresh.

“‘Twenty-seven thousand francs,’ said Rastignac, adding a few banknotes to the pile of gold. ‘That would be enough for other people to live on; will it be enough for us to die on? Yes! We will take our last breath in a bath of gold—hurrah!’ and we danced around again.”

“We divided the windfall. We began with double-napoleons, and came down to the smaller coins, one by one. ‘This for you, this for me,’ we kept saying, distilling our joy drop by drop.

“We split the windfall. We started with double-napoleons and worked our way down to the smaller coins, one by one. ‘This is for you, this is for me,’ we kept saying, savoring our joy bit by bit.”

“‘We won’t go to sleep,’ cried Rastignac. ‘Joseph! some punch!’

“‘We’re not going to sleep,’ yelled Rastignac. ‘Joseph! Get some punch!’”

“He threw gold to his faithful attendant.

“He threw gold to his loyal assistant.

“‘There is your share,’ he said; ‘go and bury yourself if you can.’

“‘Here’s your share,’ he said; ‘go and hide if you can.’”

“Next day I went to Lesage and chose my furniture, took the rooms that you know in the Rue Taitbout, and left the decoration to one of the best upholsterers. I bought horses. I plunged into a vortex of pleasures, at once hollow and real. I went in for play, gaining and losing enormous sums, but only at friends’ houses and in ballrooms; never in gaming-houses, for which I still retained the holy horror of my early days. Without meaning it, I made some friends, either through quarrels or owing to the easy confidence established among those who are going to the bad together; nothing, possibly, makes us cling to one another so tightly as our evil propensities.

The next day, I went to Lesage and picked out my furniture, took the rooms you know about on Rue Taitbout, and left the decorating to one of the best upholsterers. I bought some horses. I dove into a whirlwind of pleasures, both shallow and genuine. I got into gambling, winning and losing huge amounts of money, but only at friends’ houses and in ballrooms; never in casinos, as I still held onto the strong aversion from my early days. Without meaning to, I made some friends, either through arguments or due to the easy trust formed among those who are heading downhill together; nothing seems to bind us more closely than our shared flaws.

“I made several ventures in literature, which were flatteringly received. Great men who followed the profession of letters, having nothing to fear from me, belauded me, not so much on account of my merits as to cast a slur on those of their rivals.

“I took several steps into literature, which were well-received. Great authors, who had no reason to feel threatened by me, praised me, not so much for my own abilities but to undermine those of their competitors.

“I became a ‘free-liver,’ to make use of the picturesque expression appropriated by the language of excess. I made it a point of honor not to be long about dying, and that my zeal and prowess should eclipse those displayed by all others in the jolliest company. I was always spruce and carefully dressed. I had some reputation for cleverness. There was no sign about me of the fearful way of living which makes a man into a mere disgusting apparatus, a funnel, a pampered beast.

“I became a ‘free-liver,’ using the catchy phrase taken from the language of indulgence. I took pride in not dragging out my dying, and I was determined to outshine everyone else in the liveliest crowd with my enthusiasm and skill. I always dressed neatly and looked sharp. I had a bit of a reputation for being clever. There was no hint of the frightening way of living that turns a person into a pathetic machine, a drain, a spoiled animal.”

“Very soon Debauch rose before me in all the majesty of its horror, and I grasped all that it meant. Those prudent, steady-going characters who are laying down wine in bottles for their heirs, can barely conceive, it is true, of so wide a theory of life, nor appreciate its normal condition; but when will you instill poetry into the provincial intellect? Opium and tea, with all their delights, are merely drugs to folk of that calibre.

“Very soon, Debauch appeared before me in all its horrifying grandeur, and I understood everything it represented. Those careful, steady people who are putting wine in bottles for their children can hardly imagine such a broad perspective on life or recognize its everyday reality; but when will you bring some poetry to the narrow-minded? Opium and tea, with all their pleasures, are just drugs to people like that.”

“Is not the imperfect sybarite to be met with even in Paris itself, that intellectual metropolis? Unfit to endure the fatigues of pleasure, this sort of person, after a drinking bout, is very much like those worthy bourgeois who fall foul of music after hearing a new opera by Rossini. Does he not renounce these courses in the same frame of mind that leads an abstemious man to forswear Ruffec pates, because the first one, forsooth, gave him the indigestion?

“Isn’t the imperfect sybarite found even in Paris itself, that intellectual capital? Unfit to handle the demands of pleasure, this type of person, after a night of drinking, is very much like those respectable bourgeois who can't stand music after hearing a new opera by Rossini. Doesn’t he reject these indulgences in the same way that a temperate man avoids Ruffec pates because the first one, indeed, gave him indigestion?”

“Debauch is as surely an art as poetry, and is not for craven spirits. To penetrate its mysteries and appreciate its charms, conscientious application is required; and as with every path of knowledge, the way is thorny and forbidding at the outset. The great pleasures of humanity are hedged about with formidable obstacles; not its single enjoyments, but enjoyment as a system, a system which establishes seldom experienced sensations and makes them habitual, which concentrates and multiplies them for us, creating a dramatic life within our life, and imperatively demanding a prompt and enormous expenditure of vitality. War, Power, Art, like Debauch, are all forms of demoralization, equally remote from the faculties of humanity, equally profound, and all are alike difficult of access. But when man has once stormed the heights of these grand mysteries, does he not walk in another world? Are not generals, ministers, and artists carried, more or less, towards destruction by the need of violent distractions in an existence so remote from ordinary life as theirs?

“Debauchery is just as much an art as poetry, and it's not for the faint-hearted. To understand its secrets and appreciate its allure, you need to put in serious effort; and like any area of knowledge, the beginning is tough and unwelcoming. The greatest pleasures in life come with significant hurdles; it’s not just about individual pleasures, but pleasure as a whole—a system that creates rarely felt sensations and makes them routine, amplifying them for us, crafting a dramatic existence within our lives, and demanding a quick and massive investment of energy. War, Power, Art, like Debauchery, are all forms of moral decay, equally distant from human faculties, equally profound, and all equally hard to reach. But once a person has conquered these grand mysteries, don’t they find themselves in a different world? Don’t generals, politicians, and artists often find themselves driven towards destruction by the need for intense distractions in lives so far removed from everyday existence as theirs?

“War, after all, is the Excess of bloodshed, as the Excess of self-interest produces Politics. Excesses of every sort are brothers. These social enormities possess the attraction of the abyss; they draw towards themselves as St. Helena beckoned Napoleon; we are fascinated, our heads swim, we wish to sound their depths though we cannot account for the wish. Perhaps the thought of Infinity dwells in these precipices, perhaps they contain some colossal flattery for the soul of man; for is he not, then, wholly absorbed in himself?

“War, after all, is just too much bloodshed, just like too much self-interest leads to Politics. All excesses are connected. These social monstrosities have the allure of the abyss; they pull us in like St. Helena drew Napoleon. We’re captivated, our heads spin, and we want to explore their depths even though we can’t explain why. Maybe the idea of Infinity resides in these depths, or perhaps they offer some huge flattery to the human soul; because isn’t a person completely absorbed in themselves?”

“The wearied artist needs a complete contrast to his paradise of imaginings and of studious hours; he either craves, like God, the seventh day of rest, or with Satan, the pleasures of hell; so that his senses may have free play in opposition to the employment of his faculties. Byron could never have taken for his relaxation to the independent gentleman’s delights of boston and gossip, for he was a poet, and so must needs pit Greece against Mahmoud.

“The tired artist needs a complete break from his paradise of imagination and focused hours; he either longs, like God, for a day of rest, or like Satan, for the pleasures of hell; so that his senses can enjoy freedom in contrast to his intense mental work. Byron could never have found relaxation in the casual pleasures of socializing and gossip because he was a poet, and he had to pit Greece against Mahmoud.”

“In war, is not man an angel of extirpation, a sort of executioner on a gigantic scale? Must not the spell be strong indeed that makes us undergo such horrid sufferings so hostile to our weak frames, sufferings that encircle every strong passion with a hedge of thorns? The tobacco smoker is seized with convulsions, and goes through a kind of agony consequent upon his excesses; but has he not borne a part in delightful festivals in realms unknown? Has Europe ever ceased from wars? She has never given herself time to wipe the stains from her feet that are steeped in blood to the ankle. Mankind at large is carried away by fits of intoxication, as nature has its accessions of love.

“In war, isn’t man just a destroyer, like a massive executioner? It must take a really strong force to make us endure such terrible pain that clashes with our fragile bodies, pain that wraps every intense passion in a thicket of thorns. The tobacco smoker experiences convulsions and goes through a kind of agony due to his excesses; but hasn’t he also been a part of joyful celebrations in unknown places? Has Europe ever stopped fighting? She never takes the time to clean the blood from her feet, which are soaked up to the ankles. Humanity as a whole gets swept away in fits of intoxication, just as nature has its moments of love.

“For men in private life, for a vegetating Mirabeau dreaming of storms in a time of calm, Excess comprises all things; it perpetually embraces the whole sum of life; it is something better still—it is a duel with an antagonist of unknown power, a monster, terrible at first sight, that must be seized by the horns, a labor that cannot be imagined.

“For men in private life, for a vegetating Mirabeau dreaming of storms in a time of calm, Excess includes everything; it constantly encompasses the entirety of life; it is something even greater—it’s a duel with a foe of unknown strength, a terrifying monster at first glance, that must be taken by the horns, a task that defies imagination.”

“Suppose that nature has endowed you with a feeble stomach or one of limited capacity; you acquire a mastery over it and improve it; you learn to carry your liquor; you grow accustomed to being drunk; you pass whole nights without sleep; at last you acquire the constitution of a colonel of cuirassiers; and in this way you create yourself afresh, as if to fly in the face of Providence.

“Imagine that nature has given you a weak stomach or one with limited capacity; you gain control over it and improve it; you learn to handle your alcohol; you get used to being intoxicated; you spend entire nights without sleeping; eventually, you develop the resilience of a colonel of cuirassiers; and in this way, you reinvent yourself, as if to defy fate.”

“A man transformed after this sort is like a neophyte who has at last become a veteran, has accustomed his mind to shot and shell and his legs to lengthy marches. When the monster’s hold on him is still uncertain, and it is not yet known which will have the better of it, they roll over and over, alternately victor and vanquished, in a world where everything is wonderful, where every ache of the soul is laid to sleep, where only the shadows of ideas are revived.

“A man transformed in this way is like a beginner who has finally become experienced, training his mind for the chaos of battle and his legs for long marches. When the monster’s grip on him is still uncertain, and it’s not clear who will come out on top, they tumble over and over, taking turns as the victor and the defeated, in a world where everything is amazing, where every pain of the soul is lulled to sleep, where only the shadows of thoughts are awakened.”

“This furious struggle has already become a necessity for us. The prodigal has struck a bargain for all the enjoyments with which life teems abundantly, at the price of his own death, like the mythical persons in legends who sold themselves to the devil for the power of doing evil. For them, instead of flowing quietly on in its monotonous course in the depths of some counting-house or study, life is poured out in a boiling torrent.

“This intense struggle has already become essential for us. The wasteful one has made a deal for all the pleasures life offers abundantly, at the cost of his own demise, like the mythical figures in legends who sold their souls to the devil for the ability to do wrong. For them, instead of continuing on quietly in the monotonous rhythm of some office or study, life is unleashed in a raging torrent.”

“Excess is, in short, for the body what the mystic’s ecstasy is for the soul. Intoxication steeps you in fantastic imaginings every whit as strange as those of ecstatics. You know hours as full of rapture as a young girl’s dreams; you travel without fatigue; you chat pleasantly with your friends; words come to you with a whole life in each, and fresh pleasures without regrets; poems are set forth for you in a few brief phrases. The coarse animal satisfaction, in which science has tried to find a soul, is followed by the enchanted drowsiness that men sigh for under the burden of consciousness. Is it not because they all feel the need of absolute repose? Because Excess is a sort of toll that genius pays to pain?

“Excess is, in short, for the body what a mystic’s ecstasy is for the soul. Intoxication immerses you in fantastic thoughts that are just as strange as those of the ecstatics. You experience hours filled with joy like a young girl’s dreams; you travel without getting tired; you have enjoyable conversations with your friends; words come to you brimming with life, bringing fresh pleasures without any regrets; poems unfold for you in just a few simple phrases. The basic physical satisfaction, which science has tried to attribute a deeper meaning to, is followed by that dreamy enchantment that people yearn for under the weight of awareness. Isn’t it because they all feel the need for complete rest? Because Excess is like a price that genius pays to suffering?”

“Look at all great men; nature made them pleasure-loving or base, every one. Some mocking or jealous power corrupted them in either soul or body, so as to make all their powers futile, and their efforts of no avail.

“Look at all the great men; nature made them indulgent or flawed, every one of them. Some sneering or envious force corrupted them in either spirit or body, rendering all their abilities useless and their efforts pointless.”

“All men and all things appear before you in the guise you choose, in those hours when wine has sway. You are lord of all creation; you transform it at your pleasure. And throughout this unceasing delirium, Play may pour, at your will, its molten lead into your veins.

"Everyone and everything shows up in whatever form you decide when you're under the influence of wine. You’re in control of the world; you change it as you wish. And during this never-ending haze, Play can, at your command, flow its molten lead into your veins."

“Some day you will fall into the monster’s power. Then you will have, as I had, a frenzied awakening, with impotence sitting by your pillow. Are you an old soldier? Phthisis attacks you. A diplomatist? An aneurism hangs death in your heart by a thread. It will perhaps be consumption that will cry out to me, ‘Let us be going!’ as to Raphael of Urbino, in old time, killed by an excess of love.

“Someday you will fall under the monster’s control. Then you will have, just like I did, a frantic awakening, with helplessness sitting beside your pillow. Are you an old soldier? Then you’re dealing with a wasting disease. A diplomat? An aneurysm is keeping death in your heart by a thread. It might be tuberculosis that will call out to me, ‘Let’s go!’ just like it did to Raphael of Urbino, who was killed long ago by too much love.”

“In this way I have existed. I was launched into the world too early or too late. My energy would have been dangerous there, no doubt, if I had not have squandered it in such ways as these. Was not the world rid of an Alexander, by the cup of Hercules, at the close of a drinking bout?

“In this way I have existed. I was thrown into the world too early or too late. My energy would have been risky there, no doubt, if I hadn't wasted it in these ways. Wasn't the world rid of an Alexander because of the cup of Hercules at the end of a drinking session?”

“There are some, the sport of Destiny, who must either have heaven or hell, the hospice of St. Bernard or riotous excess. Only just now I lacked the heart to moralize about those two,” and he pointed to Euphrasia and Aquilina. “They are types of my own personal history, images of my life! I could scarcely reproach them; they stood before me like judges.

“There are some in the game of Destiny who can only choose between heaven or hell, the hospice of St. Bernard or wild indulgence. Just now, I didn’t have the heart to lecture on those two," he said, pointing to Euphrasia and Aquilina. "They represent my own personal history, reflections of my life! I could hardly blame them; they stood before me like judges.

“In the midst of this drama that I was enacting, and while my distracting disorder was at its height, two crises supervened; each brought me keen and abundant pangs. The first came a few days after I had flung myself, like Sardanapalus, on my pyre. I met Foedora under the peristyle of the Bouffons. We both were waiting for our carriages.

“In the middle of this drama I was playing out, and while my distracting turmoil was at its peak, two crises occurred; each brought me sharp and overwhelming pain. The first came a few days after I had thrown myself, like Sardanapalus, onto my pyre. I ran into Foedora under the colonnade of the Bouffons. We were both waiting for our carriages.”

“‘Ah! so you are living yet?’

“‘Oh! So you’re still here?’”

“That was the meaning of her smile, and probably of the spiteful words she murmured in the ear of her cicisbeo, telling him my history no doubt, rating mine as a common love affair. She was deceived, yet she was applauding her perspicacity. Oh, that I should be dying for her, must still adore her, always see her through my potations, see her still when I was overcome with wine, or in the arms of courtesans; and know that I was a target for her scornful jests! Oh, that I should be unable to tear the love of her out of my breast and to fling it at her feet!

"That was what her smile meant, and probably the spiteful words she whispered to her lover, no doubt telling him my story and dismissing mine as just a typical romance. She was mistaken, yet she was feeling proud of her insight. Oh, that I should be longing for her, still loving her, always seeing her through my drinks, seeing her even when I was drunk or in the arms of other women; and knowing that I was just a target for her mocking jokes! Oh, that I should be unable to tear my love for her out of my heart and throw it at her feet!"

“Well, I quickly exhausted my funds, but owing to those three years of discipline, I enjoyed the most robust health, and on the day that I found myself without a penny I felt remarkably well. In order to carry on the process of dying, I signed bills at short dates, and the day came when they must be met. Painful excitements! but how they quicken the pulses of youth! I was not prematurely aged; I was young yet, and full of vigor and life.

“Well, I quickly ran out of money, but thanks to those three years of discipline, I was in excellent health, and on the day I found myself broke, I felt surprisingly good. To keep things going, I signed some short-term promissory notes, and the day came when they had to be paid. What stressful moments! But they really get the heart racing in youth! I wasn't worn out; I was still young, full of energy and life.

“At my first debt all my virtues came to life; slowly and despairingly they seemed to pace towards me; but I could compound with them—they were like aged aunts that begin with a scolding and end by bestowing tears and money upon you.

“At my first debt, all my virtues came to life; slowly and hopelessly they seemed to walk toward me; but I could make peace with them—they were like older aunts who start off by scolding you and end up showering you with tears and cash.”

“Imagination was less yielding; I saw my name bandied about through every city in Europe. ‘One’s name is oneself’ says Eusebe Salverte. After these excursions I returned to the room I had never quitted, like a doppelganger in a German tale, and came to myself with a start.

“Imagination was less accommodating; I saw my name tossed around in every city in Europe. ‘One’s name is oneself’ says Eusebe Salverte. After these journeys, I returned to the room I had never left, like a doppelganger from a German story, and snapped back to reality with a jolt.

“I used to see with indifference a banker’s messenger going on his errands through the streets of Paris, like a commercial Nemesis, wearing his master’s livery—a gray coat and a silver badge; but now I hated the species in advance. One of them came one morning to ask me to meet some eleven bills that I had scrawled my name upon. My signature was worth three thousand francs! Taking me altogether, I myself was not worth that amount. Sheriff’s deputies rose up before me, turning their callous faces upon my despair, as the hangman regards the criminal to whom he says, ‘It has just struck half-past three.’ I was in the power of their clerks; they could scribble my name, drag it through the mire, and jeer at it. I was a defaulter. Has a debtor any right to himself? Could not other men call me to account for my way of living? Why had I eaten puddings a la chipolata? Why had I iced my wine? Why had I slept, or walked, or thought, or amused myself when I had not paid them?

"I used to watch a bank messenger running his errands through the streets of Paris with indifference, like a commercial Nemesis, dressed in his master's uniform—a gray coat and a silver badge; but now I despised the whole type in advance. One of them came one morning to ask me to meet eleven bills that I had hastily signed. My signature was worth three thousand francs! Taking everything into account, I wasn’t even worth that much. Sheriff’s deputies stood before me, their cold faces staring at my despair, like a hangman looking at the criminal while saying, ‘It has just struck half-past three.’ I was at the mercy of their clerks; they could scribble my name, drag it through the mud, and laugh at it. I was a defaulter. Does a debtor have any rights? Could others not hold me accountable for how I lived? Why had I indulged in puddings a la chipolata? Why had I chilled my wine? Why had I slept, or walked, or thought, or entertained myself when I hadn’t paid them?"

“At any moment, in the middle of a poem, during some train of thought, or while I was gaily breakfasting in the pleasant company of my friends, I might look to see a gentleman enter in a coat of chestnut-brown, with a shabby hat in his hand. This gentleman’s appearance would signify my debt, the bill I had drawn; the spectre would compel me to leave the table to speak to him, blight my spirits, despoil me of my cheerfulness, of my mistress, of all I possessed, down to my very bedstead.

“At any moment, right in the middle of a poem, during some train of thought, or while I was happily having breakfast with my friends, I might look up to see a man walk in wearing a chestnut-brown coat and holding a shabby hat. This man's appearance would represent my debt, the bill I had drawn; his presence would force me to leave the table to talk to him, ruin my mood, take away my happiness, my partner, and everything I had, down to my very bed.”

“Remorse itself is more easily endured. Remorse does not drive us into the street nor into the prison of Sainte-Pelagie; it does not force us into the detestable sink of vice. Remorse only brings us to the scaffold, where the executioner invests us with a certain dignity; as we pay the extreme penalty, everybody believes in our innocence; but people will not credit a penniless prodigal with a single virtue.

“Feeling regret is easier to handle. Regret doesn’t push us into the streets or the Sainte-Pelagie prison; it doesn’t force us into a horrible life of vice. Regret only takes us to the scaffold, where the executioner gives us a certain dignity; as we face the ultimate punishment, everyone believes in our innocence; but no one believes a broke spendthrift has any virtues.”

“My debts had other incarnations. There is the kind that goes about on two feet, in a green cloth coat, and blue spectacles, carrying umbrellas of various hues; you come face to face with him at the corner of some street, in the midst of your mirth. These have the detestable prerogative of saying, ‘M. de Valentin owes me something, and does not pay. I have a hold on him. He had better not show me any offensive airs!’ You must bow to your creditors, and moreover bow politely. ‘When are you going to pay me?’ say they. And you must lie, and beg money of another man, and cringe to a fool seated on his strong-box, and receive sour looks in return from these horse-leeches; a blow would be less hateful; you must put up with their crass ignorance and calculating morality. A debt is a feat of the imaginative that they cannot appreciate. A borrower is often carried away and over-mastered by generous impulses; nothing great, nothing magnanimous can move or dominate those who live for money, and recognize nothing but money. I myself held money in abhorrence.

“My debts took on different forms. There’s the type that walks on two legs, wearing a green coat and blue glasses, carrying umbrellas of various colors; you run into him on the corner of some street while you’re enjoying yourself. These people have the annoying habit of saying, ‘M. de Valentin owes me money and won’t pay. I have leverage over him. He’d better not act all high and mighty!’ You have to bow to your creditors, and you need to do it politely. ‘When are you going to pay me?’ they ask. And you have to lie, beg for money from someone else, and grovel to a fool sitting on his pile of cash, only to receive scornful looks from these leeches; a slap would be less annoying. You have to put up with their sheer ignorance and mercenary mindset. A debt is a stroke of imagination that they can’t grasp. A borrower is often swept away and overtaken by generous feelings; nothing great or noble can move or control those who live for money and see nothing but money. I personally despised money.”

“Or a bill may undergo a final transformation into some meritorious old man with a family dependent upon him. My creditor might be a living picture for Greuze, a paralytic with his children round him, a soldier’s widow, holding out beseeching hands to me. Terrible creditors are these with whom we are forced to sympathize, and when their claims are satisfied we owe them a further debt of assistance.

“Or a bill might finally turn into a worthy old man with a family relying on him. My creditor could be a living portrait, like something from Greuze, a disabled person surrounded by their kids, or a soldier’s widow, reaching out to me for help. These terrible creditors are the ones we can't help but feel sorry for, and when we settle their debts, we owe them even more support.”

“The night before the bills fell due, I lay down with the false calm of those who sleep before their approaching execution, or with a duel in prospect, rocked as they are by delusive hopes. But when I woke, when I was cool and collected, when I found myself imprisoned in a banker’s portfolio, and floundering in statements covered with red ink—then my debts sprang up everywhere, like grasshoppers, before my eyes. There were my debts, my clock, my armchairs; my debts were inlaid in the very furniture which I liked best to use. These gentle inanimate slaves were to fall prey to the harpies of the Chatelet, were to be carried off by the broker’s men, and brutally thrown on the market. Ah, my property was a part of myself!

“The night before the bills were due, I lay down with the false calm of those who sleep before their execution or a duel, comforted by deceptive hopes. But when I woke, when I was cool and composed, when I found myself trapped in a banker’s portfolio, struggling with statements covered in red ink—then my debts sprang up everywhere, like grasshoppers, before my eyes. There were my debts, my clock, my armchairs; my debts were embedded in the very furniture I loved to use. These gentle inanimate possessions were about to be taken by the harpies of the Chatelet, to be seized by the broker’s men, and brutally thrown onto the market. Ah, my property was a part of me!

“The sound of the door-bell rang through my heart; while it seemed to strike at me, where kings should be struck at—in the head. Mine was a martyrdom, without heaven for its reward. For a magnanimous nature, debt is a hell, and a hell, moreover, with sheriff’s officers and brokers in it. An undischarged debt is something mean and sordid; it is a beginning of knavery; it is something worse, it is a lie; it prepares the way for crime, and brings together the planks for the scaffold. My bills were protested. Three days afterwards I met them, and this is how it happened.

“The sound of the doorbell echoed in my chest; it felt like it was hitting me where it really hurts—right in the head. My suffering had no heavenly reward. For someone with a generous spirit, debt is a terrible burden, and it’s even worse with debt collectors and brokers involved. An unpaid debt feels cheap and dirty; it’s the start of dishonesty; even worse, it’s a lie; it paves the way for wrongdoing and sets the stage for disaster. My bills had been refused payment. Three days later, I encountered them, and here’s what went down.”

“A speculator came, offering to buy the island in the Loire belonging to me, where my mother lay buried. I closed with him. When I went to his solicitor to sign the deeds, I felt a cavern-like chill in the dark office that made me shudder; it was the same cold dampness that had laid hold upon me at the brink of my father’s grave. I looked upon this as an evil omen. I seemed to see the shade of my mother, and to hear her voice. What power was it that made my own name ring vaguely in my ears, in spite of the clamor of bells?

A speculator came, wanting to buy the island in the Loire that belonged to me, where my mother was buried. I agreed to the deal. When I went to his lawyer to sign the papers, I felt a deep chill in the dark office that made me shudder; it was the same damp coldness that had gripped me at the edge of my father’s grave. I took this as a bad sign. I felt as if I could see my mother’s ghost and hear her voice. What force was it that made my name echo faintly in my ears, despite the sound of the bells?

“The money paid down for my island, when all my debts were discharged, left me in possession of two thousand francs. I could now have returned to the scholar’s tranquil life, it is true; I could have gone back to my garret after having gained an experience of life, with my head filled with the results of extensive observation, and with a certain sort of reputation attaching to me. But Foedora’s hold upon her victim was not relaxed. We often met. I compelled her admirers to sound my name in her ears, by dint of astonishing them with my cleverness and success, with my horses and equipages. It all found her impassive and uninterested; so did an ugly phrase of Rastignac’s, ‘He is killing himself for you.’

“The money I got for my island, after I settled all my debts, left me with two thousand francs. I could have gone back to the calm life of a scholar; I could have returned to my small room, having gained life experience and filled my head with insights from my observations, along with a bit of a reputation. But Foedora's grip on me didn’t loosen. We met often. I forced her admirers to mention my name to her by impressing them with my intelligence and success, my horses and fancy carriages. But she remained indifferent and uninterested; the same went for an unflattering comment from Rastignac, 'He is killing himself for you.'”

“I charged the world at large with my revenge, but I was not happy. While I was fathoming the miry depths of life, I only recognized the more keenly at all times the happiness of reciprocal affection; it was a shadow that I followed through all that befell me in my extravagance, and in my wildest moments. It was my misfortune to be deceived in my fairest beliefs, to be punished by ingratitude for benefiting others, and to receive uncounted pleasures as the reward of my errors—a sinister doctrine, but a true one for the prodigal!

“I directed my desire for revenge at the world, but it didn't bring me happiness. As I struggled through the tough aspects of life, I became more aware of how important mutual affection really was; it was a constant shadow that lingered over everything I experienced during my reckless times and wild moments. I was unfortunate to be misled in my most cherished beliefs, to face ingratitude despite helping others, and to receive countless pleasures as a consequence of my mistakes—a dark lesson, but a true one for someone like me who lived extravagantly!”

“The contagious leprosy of Foedora’s vanity had taken hold of me at last. I probed my soul, and found it cankered and rotten. I bore the marks of the devil’s claw upon my forehead. It was impossible to me thenceforward to do without the incessant agitation of a life fraught with danger at every moment, or to dispense with the execrable refinements of luxury. If I had possessed millions, I should still have gambled, reveled, and racketed about. I wished never to be alone with myself, and I must have false friends and courtesans, wine and good cheer to distract me. The ties that attach a man to family life had been permanently broken for me. I had become a galley-slave of pleasure, and must accomplish my destiny of suicide. During the last days of my prosperity, I spent every night in the most incredible excesses; but every morning death cast me back upon life again. I would have taken a conflagration with as little concern as any man with a life annuity. However, I at last found myself alone with a twenty-franc piece; I bethought me then of Rastignac’s luck——

“The contagious leprosy of Foedora’s vanity finally got to me. I looked deep into my soul and found it infected and decayed. I bore the marks of the devil’s claw on my forehead. From that point on, I could no longer live without the constant turmoil of a life filled with danger at every turn, or do without the awful indulgences of luxury. Even if I had millions, I would still gamble, party, and make noise. I never wanted to be alone with myself; I needed fake friends and escorts, wine and good times to keep me distracted. The bonds that connect a person to family life had been permanently severed for me. I had become a slave to pleasure, destined to end my life. During the last days of my wealth, I spent every night in the most outrageous excesses; yet every morning, death pushed me back into life again. I would have faced a raging fire with as little worry as someone with a guaranteed income. But eventually, I found myself alone with a twenty-franc piece; then I thought of Rastignac’s luck——

“Eh, eh!——” Raphael exclaimed, interrupting himself, as he remembered the talisman and drew it from his pocket. Perhaps he was wearied by the long day’s strain, and had no more strength left wherewith to pilot his head through the seas of wine and punch; or perhaps, exasperated by this symbol of his own existence, the torrent of his own eloquence gradually overwhelmed him. Raphael became excited and elated and like one completely deprived of reason.

“Hey, hey!——” Raphael exclaimed, stopping himself, as he remembered the talisman and pulled it from his pocket. Maybe he was tired from the long day and just didn’t have the energy left to navigate through the sea of wine and punch; or maybe, frustrated by this symbol of his own existence, the flood of his own words gradually overwhelmed him. Raphael grew excited and ecstatic, like someone who lost all sense of reason.

“The devil take death!” he shouted, brandishing the skin; “I mean to live! I am rich, I have every virtue; nothing will withstand me. Who would not be generous, when everything is in his power? Aha! Aha! I wished for two hundred thousand livres a year, and I shall have them. Bow down before me, all of you, wallowing on the carpets like swine in the mire! You all belong to me—a precious property truly! I am rich; I could buy you all, even the deputy snoring over there. Scum of society, give me your benediction! I am the Pope.”

“Damn death!” he yelled, waving the skin around; “I’m going to live! I’m rich, I have every good quality; nothing can stop me. Who wouldn’t be generous when they have everything at their fingertips? Ha! Ha! I wanted two hundred thousand livres a year, and I’m going to get it. Bow down before me, you all, rolling on the carpets like pigs in the mud! You all belong to me—what a valuable asset! I’m rich; I could buy all of you, even that deputy snoozing over there. You’re the dregs of society, so give me your blessing! I’m the Pope.”

Raphael’s vociferations had been hitherto drowned by a thorough-bass of snores, but now they became suddenly audible. Most of the sleepers started up with a cry, saw the cause of the disturbance on his feet, tottering uncertainly, and cursed him in concert for a drunken brawler.

Raphael’s shouting had been completely drowned out by the loud sound of snoring, but now it suddenly became clear. Most of the sleepers jumped up with a scream, saw the source of the commotion on his feet, swaying unsteadily, and all together cursed him for being a drunken fighter.

“Silence!” shouted Raphael. “Back to your kennels, you dogs! Emile, I have riches, I will give you Havana cigars!”

“Silence!” shouted Raphael. “Back to your kennels, you mutts! Emile, I’ve got riches, I’ll give you Havana cigars!”

“I am listening,” the poet replied. “Death or Foedora! On with you! That silky Foedora deceived you. Women are all daughters of Eve. There is nothing dramatic about that rigmarole of yours.”

“I’m listening,” the poet replied. “Death or Foedora! Go ahead! That smooth-talking Foedora tricked you. Women are all daughters of Eve. There’s nothing dramatic about that nonsense of yours.”

“Ah, but you were sleeping, slyboots.”

“Ah, but you were sleeping, you sly thing.”

“No—‘Death or Foedora!’—I have it!”

“No—‘Death or Foedora!’—I got it!”

“Wake up!” Raphael shouted, beating Emile with the piece of shagreen as if he meant to draw electric fluid out of it.

“Wake up!” Raphael shouted, hitting Emile with the piece of shagreen as if he was trying to draw some kind of energy from it.

Tonnerre!” said Emile, springing up and flinging his arms round Raphael; “my friend, remember the sort of women you are with.”

Tonnerre!” Emile exclaimed, jumping up and wrapping his arms around Raphael. “My friend, remember the type of women you’re with.”

“I am a millionaire!”

“I'm a millionaire!”

“If you are not a millionaire, you are most certainly drunk.”

“If you’re not a millionaire, you’re probably drunk.”

“Drunk with power. I can kill you!—Silence! I am Nero! I am Nebuchadnezzar!”

“Drunk with power. I can kill you!—Quiet! I am Nero! I am Nebuchadnezzar!”

“But, Raphael, we are in queer company, and you ought to keep quiet for the sake of your own dignity.”

“But, Raphael, we’re in a strange crowd, and you should stay quiet for the sake of your own dignity.”

“My life has been silent too long. I mean to have my revenge now on the world at large. I will not amuse myself by squandering paltry five-franc pieces; I will reproduce and sum up my epoch by absorbing human lives, human minds, and human souls. There are the treasures of pestilence—that is no paltry kind of wealth, is it? I will wrestle with fevers—yellow, blue, or green—with whole armies, with gibbets. I can possess Foedora—Yet no, I do not want Foedora; she is a disease; I am dying of Foedora. I want to forget Foedora.”

"My life has been quiet for too long. I’m ready to take my revenge on the world. I won't waste my time on trivial five-franc coins; I will capture and summarize my time by absorbing human lives, minds, and souls. Those are the true treasures of suffering—that's no ordinary wealth, right? I will wrestle with fevers—yellow, blue, or green—with entire armies, with gallows. I could have Foedora—But no, I don’t want Foedora; she’s a sickness; I’m dying because of Foedora. I want to forget her."

“If you keep on calling out like this, I shall take you into the dining-room.”

“If you keep yelling like this, I’ll take you into the dining room.”

“Do you see this skin? It is Solomon’s will. Solomon belongs to me—a little varlet of a king! Arabia is mine, Arabia Petraea to boot; and the universe, and you too, if I choose. If I choose—Ah! be careful. I can buy up all our journalist’s shop; you shall be my valet. You shall be my valet, you shall manage my newspaper. Valet! valet, that is to say, free from aches and pains, because he has no brains.”

“Do you see this skin? It’s Solomon’s will. Solomon is mine—a little spoiled king! Arabia is mine, including Arabia Petraea; and the whole universe, and you too, if I want. If I want—Ah! be careful. I can buy up the entire journalist shop; you’ll be my servant. You’ll be my servant, you’ll run my newspaper. Servant! Servant, meaning free from aches and pains, because he’s got no brains.”

At the word, Emile carried Raphael off into the dining-room.

At the word, Emile took Raphael into the dining room.

“All right,” he remarked; “yes, my friend, I am your valet. But you are about to be editor-in-chief of a newspaper; so be quiet, and behave properly, for my sake. Have you no regard for me?”

"Okay," he said. "Yes, my friend, I’m your assistant. But you’re about to be the editor-in-chief of a newspaper, so calm down and act respectfully, for my sake. Don’t you care about me?"

“Regard for you! You shall have Havana cigars, with this bit of shagreen: always with this skin, this supreme bit of shagreen. It is a cure for corns, and efficacious remedy. Do you suffer? I will remove them.”

“Hey there! You’ll get Havana cigars along with this piece of shagreen: always with this skin, this incredible bit of shagreen. It’s a cure for corns and a really effective remedy. Do you have any? I’ll take them away.”

“Never have I known you so senseless——”

“Never have I known you to be so clueless——”

“Senseless, my friend? Not at all. This skin contracts whenever I form a wish—‘tis a paradox. There is a Brahmin underneath it! The Brahmin must be a droll fellow, for our desires, look you, are bound to expand——”

“Senseless, my friend? Not at all. This skin tightens whenever I make a wish—it's a paradox. There's a Brahmin underneath it! The Brahmin must be quite amusing, because our desires, you see, are destined to grow——”

“Yes, yes——”

“Yeah, yeah——”

“I tell you——”

“I’m telling you——”

“Yes, yes, very true, I am quite of your opinion—our desires expand——”

“Yes, yes, that’s very true, I completely agree with you—our desires grow——”

“The skin, I tell you.”

“Trust me, the skin.”

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t believe me. I know you, my friend; you are as full of lies as a new-made king.”

“You don’t believe me. I know you, my friend; you’re as full of lies as a freshly crowned king.”

“How can you expect me to follow your drunken maunderings?”

“How can you expect me to listen to your drunken ramblings?”

“I will bet you I can prove it. Let us measure it——”

“I bet I can prove it. Let’s measure it——”

“Goodness! he will never get off to sleep,” exclaimed Emile, as he watched Raphael rummaging busily in the dining-room.

“Wow! He’s never going to get to sleep,” Emile exclaimed, as he watched Raphael busy searching in the dining room.

Thanks to the peculiar clearness with which external objects are sometimes projected on an inebriated brain, in sharp contrast to its own obscure imaginings, Valentin found an inkstand and a table-napkin, with the quickness of a monkey, repeating all the time:

Thanks to the strange clarity with which external objects occasionally appear to a drunk mind, sharply contrasting with its own fuzzy thoughts, Valentin quickly spotted an inkstand and a table napkin, moving as swiftly as a monkey, repeating all the while:

“Let us measure it! Let us measure it!”

"Let's measure it! Let's measure it!"

“All right,” said Emile; “let us measure it!”

“All right,” said Emile, “let's measure it!”

The two friends spread out the table-napkin and laid the Magic Skin upon it. As Emile’s hand appeared to be steadier than Raphael’s, he drew a line with pen and ink round the talisman, while his friend said:

The two friends laid out the table napkin and placed the Magic Skin on it. Since Emile's hand seemed steadier than Raphael's, he drew a line with pen and ink around the talisman while his friend said:

“I wished for an income of two hundred thousand livres, didn’t I? Well, when that comes, you will observe a mighty diminution of my chagrin.”

“I wished for an income of two hundred thousand livres, didn’t I? Well, when that happens, you’ll see a big reduction in my disappointment.”

“Yes—now go to sleep. Shall I make you comfortable on that sofa? Now then, are you all right?”

“Yes—now go to sleep. Do you want me to make you comfy on that sofa? So, are you okay?”

“Yes, my nursling of the press. You shall amuse me; you shall drive the flies away from me. The friend of adversity should be the friend of prosperity. So I will give you some Hava—na—cig——”

“Yes, my little one from the press. You will entertain me; you will keep the flies away from me. A friend in tough times should be a friend in good times too. So I will give you some Hava—na—cig——”

“Come, now, sleep. Sleep off your gold, you millionaire!”

“Come on, sleep. Sleep off your wealth, you millionaire!”

“You! sleep off your paragraphs! Good-night! Say good-night to Nebuchadnezzar!—Love! Wine! France!—glory and tr—treas——”

“You! sleep through your paragraphs! Good night! Say good night to Nebuchadnezzar!—Love! Wine! France!—glory and tr—treas——”

Very soon the snorings of the two friends were added to the music with which the rooms resounded—an ineffectual concert! The lights went out one by one, their crystal sconces cracking in the final flare. Night threw dark shadows over this prolonged revelry, in which Raphael’s narrative had been a second orgy of speech, of words without ideas, of ideas for which words had often been lacking.

Very soon, the snoring of the two friends joined the music echoing through the rooms—an ineffective concert! The lights went out one by one, their crystal sconces breaking in the final glow. Night cast dark shadows over this extended celebration, where Raphael's storytelling had been a second round of chatter, filled with empty words, and ideas that often lacked the right words.

Towards noon, next day, the fair Aquilina bestirred herself. She yawned wearily. She had slept with her head upon a painted velvet footstool, and her cheeks were mottled over by contact with the surface. Her movement awoke Euphrasia, who suddenly sprang up with a hoarse cry; her pretty face, that had been so fresh and fair in the evening, was sallow now and pallid; she looked like a candidate for the hospital. The rest awoke also by degrees, with portentous groanings, to feel themselves over in every stiffened limb, and to experience the infinite varieties of weariness that weighed upon them.

Around noon the next day, the lovely Aquilina stirred. She yawned sleepily. She had fallen asleep with her head on a painted velvet footstool, and her cheeks were marked from pressing against its surface. Her movement woke Euphrasia, who suddenly shot up with a hoarse cry; her pretty face, once so fresh and fair in the evening, now appeared sallow and pale, looking like someone who needed medical attention. The others gradually woke up as well, groaning heavily as they assessed their stiff limbs and felt the endless varieties of exhaustion weighing down on them.

A servant came in to throw back the shutters and open the windows. There they all stood, brought back to consciousness by the warm rays of sunlight that shone upon the sleepers’ heads. Their movements during slumber had disordered the elaborately arranged hair and toilettes of the women. They presented a ghastly spectacle in the bright daylight. Their hair fell ungracefully about them; their eyes, lately so brilliant, were heavy and dim; the expression of their faces was entirely changed. The sickly hues, which daylight brings out so strongly, were frightful. An olive tint had crept over the lymphatic faces, so fair and soft when in repose; the dainty red lips were grown pale and dry, and bore tokens of the degradation of excess. Each disowned his mistress of the night before; the women looked wan and discolored, like flowers trampled under foot by a passing procession.

A servant came in to pull back the curtains and open the windows. There they all stood, brought back to awareness by the warm rays of sunlight shining on the sleepers' heads. Their movements while sleeping had messed up the carefully styled hair and outfits of the women. They looked ghastly in the bright daylight. Their hair fell awkwardly around them; their eyes, once so bright, were heavy and dull; the expressions on their faces had completely changed. The sickly colors that daylight highlighted were shocking. An olive tint had crept over the once fair and soft faces; the delicate red lips had turned pale and dry, showing signs of excess. Each one distanced themselves from the one they had spent the night with; the women appeared pale and faded, like flowers trampled underfoot by a passing procession.

The men who scorned them looked even more horrible. Those human faces would have made you shudder. The hollow eyes with the dark circles round them seemed to see nothing; they were dull with wine and stupefied with heavy slumbers that had been exhausting rather than refreshing. There was an indescribable ferocious and stolid bestiality about these haggard faces, where bare physical appetite appeared shorn of all the poetical illusion with which the intellect invests it. Even these fearless champions, accustomed to measure themselves with excess, were struck with horror at this awakening of vice, stripped of its disguises, at being confronted thus with sin, the skeleton in rags, lifeless and hollow, bereft of the sophistries of the intellect and the enchantments of luxury. Artists and courtesans scrutinized in silence and with haggard glances the surrounding disorder, the rooms where everything had been laid waste, at the havoc wrought by heated passions.

The men who looked down on them seemed even more terrifying. Those human faces would make you shudder. The sunken eyes with dark circles around them seemed to see nothing; they were dull from alcohol and dazed from heavy sleep that had been more exhausting than refreshing. There was an indescribable, fierce, and dull beastliness about these worn faces, where bare physical hunger appeared stripped of all the poetic illusions the mind gives it. Even these brave souls, used to pushing their limits, were horrified by this raw awakening of vice, laid bare without its disguises, confronted with sin, like a lifeless skeleton in rags, devoid of the clever justifications of the mind and the allure of luxury. Artists and courtesans observed the chaos in silence, their haggard eyes taking in the surrounding disorder, the rooms where everything had been destroyed, witnessing the mess caused by intense passions.

Demoniac laughter broke out when Taillefer, catching the smothered murmurs of his guests, tried to greet them with a grin. His darkly flushed, perspiring countenance loomed upon this pandemonium, like the image of a crime that knows no remorse (see L’Auberge rouge). The picture was complete. A picture of a foul life in the midst of luxury, a hideous mixture of the pomp and squalor of humanity; an awakening after the frenzy of Debauch has crushed and squeezed all the fruits of life in her strong hands, till nothing but unsightly refuse is left to her, and lies in which she believes no longer. You might have thought of Death gloating over a family stricken with the plague.

Demonic laughter erupted as Taillefer, catching the hushed whispers of his guests, attempted to greet them with a smile. His darkly flushed, sweaty face stood out in this chaos, like a symbol of a crime that feels no remorse (see L’Auberge rouge). The scene was complete. A portrayal of a corrupt life amid luxury, a terrible blend of the grandeur and filth of humanity; a rude awakening after the frenzy of excess has crushed and drained all the joys of life in her tight grip, leaving nothing but ugly waste behind, and lies she no longer believes in. You might have thought of Death reveling over a family afflicted by the plague.

The sweet scents and dazzling lights, the mirth and the excitement were all no more; disgust with its nauseous sensations and searching philosophy was there instead. The sun shone in like truth, the pure outer air was like virtue; in contrast with the heated atmosphere, heavy with the fumes of the previous night of revelry.

The sweet smells and bright lights, the joy and excitement were all gone; what remained was disgust with its sickening feelings and a quest for understanding. The sun came in like truth, the fresh air felt like virtue, especially compared to the stuffy atmosphere, thick with the remnants of last night’s partying.

Accustomed as they were to their life, many of the girls thought of other days and other wakings; pure and innocent days when they looked out and saw the roses and honeysuckle about the casement, and the fresh countryside without enraptured by the glad music of the skylark; while earth lay in mists, lighted by the dawn, and in all the glittering radiance of dew. Others imagined the family breakfast, the father and children round the table, the innocent laughter, the unspeakable charm that pervaded it all, the simple hearts and their meal as simple.

Used to their lives as they were, many of the girls thought about other days and other mornings; pure and innocent days when they looked out and saw the roses and honeysuckle by the window, and the fresh countryside filled with the joyful music of the skylark; while the earth lay shrouded in mist, lit by dawn, and sparkling with dew. Others pictured the family breakfast, with the father and children gathered around the table, the innocent laughter, the indescribable charm that filled the atmosphere, the simple hearts and their straightforward meal.

An artist mused upon his quiet studio, on his statue in its severe beauty, and the graceful model who was waiting for him. A young man recollected a lawsuit on which the fortunes of a family hung, and an important transaction that needed his presence. The scholar regretted his study and that noble work that called for him. Emile appeared just then as smiling, blooming, and fresh as the smartest assistant in a fashionable shop.

An artist pondered in his quiet studio, admiring the stark beauty of his statue and the elegant model waiting for him. A young man remembered a lawsuit that could decide a family's fate and a crucial deal that required his attention. The scholar lamented his research and the significant work that awaited him. Emile showed up just then, looking as cheerful, vibrant, and fresh as the trendiest assistant in a stylish store.

“You are all as ugly as bailiffs. You won’t be fit for anything to-day, so this day is lost, and I vote for breakfast.”

“You all look as unattractive as bailiffs. You won’t be up for much today, so this day is a write-off, and I’m in favor of breakfast.”

At this Taillefer went out to give some orders. The women went languidly up to the mirrors to set their toilettes in order. Each one shook herself. The wilder sort lectured the steadier ones. The courtesans made fun of those who looked unable to continue the boisterous festivity; but these wan forms revived all at once, stood in groups, and talked and smiled. Some servants quickly and adroitly set the furniture and everything else in its place, and a magnificent breakfast was got ready.

At this, Taillefer stepped out to give some instructions. The women moved slowly to the mirrors to fix their hair and makeup. Each one gave herself a little shake. The more energetic ones scolded the calmer ones. The courtesans teased those who seemed unable to keep up with the lively celebration; but those tired figures suddenly perked up, gathered in groups, and chatted and smiled. Some servants quickly and skillfully arranged the furniture and everything else, and a lavish breakfast was prepared.

The guests hurried into the dining-room. Everything there bore indelible marks of yesterday’s excess, it is true, but there were at any rate some traces of ordinary, rational existence, such traces as may be found in a sick man’s dying struggles. And so the revelry was laid away and buried, like carnival of a Shrove Tuesday, by masks wearied out with dancing, drunk with drunkenness, and quite ready to be persuaded of the pleasures of lassitude, lest they should be forced to admit their exhaustion.

The guests rushed into the dining room. It was clear that remnants of yesterday’s indulgence were all around, but there were still signs of ordinary, rational living, like the last gasps of a sick person. So, the wild celebrations were tucked away and forgotten, like a Fat Tuesday party, with masks worn out from dancing, intoxicated, and ready to embrace the comfort of laziness to avoid facing their fatigue.

As soon as these bold spirits surrounded the capitalist’s breakfast-table, Cardot appeared. He had left the rest to make a night of it after the dinner, and finished the evening after his own fashion in the retirement of domestic life. Just now a sweet smile wandered over his features. He seemed to have a presentiment that there would be some inheritance to sample and divide, involving inventories and engrossing; an inheritance rich in fees and deeds to draw up, and something as juicy as the trembling fillet of beef in which their host had just plunged his knife.

As soon as these daring individuals gathered around the capitalist’s breakfast table, Cardot showed up. He had left the others to enjoy a night out after dinner and wrapped up the evening in his own way at home. Right now, a gentle smile spread across his face. He seemed to sense that there would be some inheritance to examine and split, complete with inventories and paperwork; an inheritance filled with fees and documents to prepare, and something as tempting as the juicy filet mignon into which their host had just plunged his knife.

“Oh, ho! we are to have breakfast in the presence of a notary,” cried Cursy.

“Oh, wow! We’re having breakfast with a notary,” exclaimed Cursy.

“You have come here just at the right time,” said the banker, indicating the breakfast; “you can jot down the numbers, and initial off all the dishes.”

“You’ve arrived at the perfect time,” said the banker, pointing to the breakfast. “You can take note of the numbers and sign off on all the dishes.”

“There is no will to make here, but contracts of marriage there may be, perhaps,” said the scholar, who had made a satisfactory arrangement for the first time in twelve months.

“There’s no will to create here, but there might be marriage contracts there,” said the scholar, who had finally made a satisfactory arrangement for the first time in a year.

“Oh! Oh!”

“Oh my gosh!”

“Ah! Ah!”

“Whoa! Whoa!”

“One moment,” cried Cardot, fairly deafened by a chorus of wretched jokes. “I came here on serious business. I am bringing six millions for one of you.” (Dead silence.) “Monsieur,” he went on, turning to Raphael, who at the moment was unceremoniously wiping his eyes on a corner of the table-napkin, “was not your mother a Mlle. O’Flaharty?”

“One moment,” shouted Cardot, practically overwhelmed by a wave of terrible jokes. “I'm here for serious business. I'm bringing six million for one of you.” (Dead silence.) “Monsieur,” he continued, looking at Raphael, who was at that moment wiping his eyes on a corner of the table napkin without any ceremony, “was your mother not Mlle. O’Flaharty?”

“Yes,” said Raphael mechanically enough; “Barbara Marie.”

“Yes,” Raphael replied somewhat absentmindedly; “Barbara Marie.”

“Have you your certificate of birth about you,” Cardot went on, “and Mme. de Valentin’s as well?”

“Do you have your birth certificate with you,” Cardot continued, “and Mme. de Valentin’s too?”

“I believe so.”

"I think so."

“Very well then, monsieur; you are the sole heir of Major O’Flaharty, who died in August 1828 at Calcutta.”

“Alright then, sir; you are the only heir of Major O’Flaharty, who passed away in August 1828 in Calcutta.”

“An incalcuttable fortune,” said the critic.

“An incalculable fortune,” said the critic.

“The Major having bequeathed several amounts to public institutions in his will, the French Government sent in a claim for the remainder to the East India Company,” the notary continued. “The estate is clear and ready to be transferred at this moment. I have been looking in vain for the heirs and assigns of Mlle. Barbara Marie O’Flaharty for a fortnight past, when yesterday at dinner——”

“The Major left various amounts to public institutions in his will, so the French Government filed a claim for the remainder with the East India Company,” the notary continued. “The estate is clear and ready to be transferred right now. I’ve been searching unsuccessfully for the heirs and assigns of Mlle. Barbara Marie O’Flaharty for the past two weeks, when yesterday at dinner——”

Just then Raphael suddenly staggered to his feet; he looked like a man who has just received a blow. Acclamation took the form of silence, for stifled envy had been the first feeling in every breast, and all eyes devoured him like flames. Then a murmur rose, and grew like the voice of a discontented audience, or the first mutterings of a riot, as everybody made some comment on this news of great wealth brought by the notary.

Just then, Raphael suddenly got to his feet; he looked like someone who had just been struck. The applause came as silence, since suppressed envy was the first emotion in everyone’s heart, and all eyes fixated on him like flames. Then a murmuring started, growing like the voice of an unhappy crowd, or the first whispers of a riot, as everyone began to comment on this news of great wealth brought by the notary.

This abrupt subservience of fate brought Raphael thoroughly to his senses. He immediately spread out the table-napkin with which he had lately taken the measure of the piece of shagreen. He heeded nothing as he laid the talisman upon it, and shuddered involuntarily at the sight of a slight difference between the present size of the skin and the outline traced upon the linen.

This sudden submission to fate brought Raphael sharply back to reality. He quickly spread out the napkin he had recently used to measure the piece of shagreen. He ignored everything as he placed the talisman on it, shuddering involuntarily at the sight of a slight difference between the current size of the skin and the outline marked on the cloth.

“Why, what is the matter with him?” Taillefer cried. “He comes by his fortune very cheaply.”

“What's wrong with him?” Taillefer shouted. “He gets his luck way too easily.”

Soutiens-le Chatillon!” said Bixiou to Emile. “The joy will kill him.”

Support Chatillon!” said Bixiou to Emile. “The excitement will be too much for him.”

A ghastly white hue overspread every line of the wan features of the heir-at-law. His face was drawn, every outline grew haggard; the hollows in his livid countenance grew deeper, and his eyes were fixed and staring. He was facing Death.

A pale, ghostly white covered every aspect of the heir's lifeless face. His features were strained, and every line looked worn; the shadows on his ashen face deepened, and his eyes were wide and unblinking. He was staring death in the face.

The opulent banker, surrounded by faded women, and faces with satiety written on them, the enjoyment that had reached the pitch of agony, was a living illustration of his own life.

The wealthy banker, surrounded by worn-out women and faces that showed a sense of excess, with pleasure that had turned to pain, was a living example of his own life.

Raphael looked thrice at the talisman, which lay passively within the merciless outlines on the table-napkin; he tried not to believe it, but his incredulity vanished utterly before the light of an inner presentiment. The whole world was his; he could have all things, but the will to possess them was utterly extinct. Like a traveler in the midst of the desert, with but a little water left to quench his thirst, he must measure his life by the draughts he took of it. He saw what every desire of his must cost him in the days of his life. He believed in the powers of the Magic Skin at last, he listened to every breath he drew; he felt ill already; he asked himself:

Raphael looked at the talisman three times as it lay quietly on the harsh outlines of the table napkin. He tried not to believe it, but his disbelief faded completely in the light of an inner intuition. The entire world was his; he could have anything, but the desire to claim it was completely gone. Like a traveler in the middle of a desert with only a little water left to quench his thirst, he had to measure his life by the sips he took. He understood what every desire would cost him in the days still ahead. Finally, he believed in the powers of the Magic Skin; he paid attention to every breath he took; he already felt unwell; he asked himself:

“Am I not consumptive? Did not my mother die of a lung complaint?”

“Am I not sickly? Didn’t my mom die from a lung disease?”

“Aha, Raphael! what fun you will have! What will you give me?” asked Aquilina.

“Aha, Raphael! You're going to have so much fun! What will you give me?” asked Aquilina.

“Here’s to the death of his uncle, Major O’Flaharty! There is a man for you.”

“Cheers to the death of his uncle, Major O’Flaharty! That’s a guy for you.”

“He will be a peer of France.”

“He will be a member of the French nobility.”

“Pooh! what is a peer of France since July?” said the amateur critic.

“Pooh! What’s the point of being a peer of France since July?” said the amateur critic.

“Are you going to take a box at the Bouffons?”

“Are you going to get a box at the Bouffons?”

“You are going to treat us all, I hope?” put in Bixiou.

"You’re going to treat us all, right?" Bixiou chimed in.

“A man of his sort will be sure to do things in style,” said Emile.

“A man like him will definitely do things with flair,” said Emile.

The hurrah set up by the jovial assembly rang in Valentin’s ears, but he could not grasp the sense of a single word. Vague thoughts crossed him of the Breton peasant’s life of mechanical labor, without a wish of any kind; he pictured him burdened with a family, tilling the soil, living on buckwheat meal, drinking cider out of a pitcher, believing in the Virgin and the King, taking the sacrament at Easter, dancing of a Sunday on the green sward, and understanding never a word of the rector’s sermon. The actual scene that lay before him, the gilded furniture, the courtesans, the feast itself, and the surrounding splendors, seemed to catch him by the throat and made him cough.

The cheers from the cheerful group echoed in Valentin’s ears, but he couldn’t make sense of a single word. Vague thoughts crossed his mind about the Breton peasant’s life of repetitive work, without any desire; he imagined him supporting a family, farming the land, living on buckwheat, drinking cider from a pitcher, believing in the Virgin and the King, taking communion at Easter, dancing on Sundays on the green grass, and not understanding a word of the rector’s sermon. The actual scene before him, the fancy furniture, the women, the feast itself, and the surrounding opulence, felt like they were choking him and made him cough.

“Do you wish for some asparagus?” the banker cried.

“Do you want some asparagus?” the banker exclaimed.

I wish for nothing!” thundered Raphael.

“I want nothing!” shouted Raphael.

“Bravo!” Taillefer exclaimed; “you understand your position; a fortune confers the privilege of being impertinent. You are one of us. Gentlemen, let us drink to the might of gold! M. Valentin here, six times a millionaire, has become a power. He is a king, like all the rich; everything is at his disposal, everything lies under his feet. From this time forth the axiom that ‘all Frenchmen are alike in the eyes of the law,’ is for him a fib at the head of the Constitutional Charter. He is not going to obey the law—the law is going to obey him. There are neither scaffolds nor executioners for millionaires.”

“Bravo!” Taillefer shouted. “You get your place in all this; having wealth gives you the right to be rude. You’re one of us. Gentlemen, let’s raise a glass to the power of gold! M. Valentin here, a six-time millionaire, has become a force to be reckoned with. He’s a king, like all rich people; everything is within his reach, everything is at his feet. From now on, the saying that ‘all Frenchmen are equal in the eyes of the law’ is just a lie at the top of the Constitutional Charter for him. He’s not going to follow the law—the law is going to follow him. There are no gallows or executioners for millionaires.”

“Yes, there are,” said Raphael; “they are their own executioners.”

“Yes, there are,” said Raphael; “they are the ones who bring about their own downfall.”

“Here is another victim of prejudices!” cried the banker.

“Here’s another victim of biases!” shouted the banker.

“Let us drink!” Raphael said, putting the talisman into his pocket.

“Let’s drink!” Raphael said, putting the talisman in his pocket.

“What are you doing?” said Emile, checking his movement. “Gentlemen,” he added, addressing the company, who were rather taken aback by Raphael’s behavior, “you must know that our friend Valentin here—what am I saying?—I mean my Lord Marquis de Valentin—is in the possession of a secret for obtaining wealth. His wishes are fulfilled as soon as he knows them. He will make us all rich together, or he is a flunkey, and devoid of all decent feeling.”

“What are you doing?” Emile asked, stopping his motion. “Gentlemen,” he continued, speaking to the group, who seemed quite surprised by Raphael’s behavior, “you should know that our friend Valentin here—what am I saying?—I mean my Lord Marquis de Valentin—has a secret to gaining wealth. His desires are met as soon as he is aware of them. He will make us all rich, or he’s just a lackey, lacking any sense of decency.”

“Oh, Raphael dear, I should like a set of pearl ornaments!” Euphrasia exclaimed.

“Oh, Raphael, I would love a set of pearl jewelry!” Euphrasia exclaimed.

“If he has any gratitude in him, he will give me a couple of carriages with fast steppers,” said Aquilina.

“If he has any gratitude, he’ll give me a couple of carriages with fast horses,” said Aquilina.

“Wish for a hundred thousand a year for me!”

“Hope for a hundred thousand a year for me!”

“Indian shawls!”

"Indian shawls!"

“Pay my debts!”

"Settle my debts!"

“Send an apoplexy to my uncle, the old stick!”

“Send a fit to my uncle, the old grouch!”

“Ten thousand a year in the funds, and I’ll cry quits with you, Raphael!”

“Ten thousand a year in investments, and I’m done with you, Raphael!”

“Deeds of gift and no mistake,” was the notary’s comment.

“Deeds of gift, no doubt about it,” was the notary’s comment.

“He ought, at least, to rid me of the gout!”

“He should, at the very least, help me get rid of this gout!”

“Lower the funds!” shouted the banker.

“Lower the funds!” shouted the banker.

These phrases flew about like the last discharge of rockets at the end of a display of fireworks; and were uttered, perhaps, more in earnest than in jest.

These phrases flew around like the final burst of rockets at the end of a fireworks display; and were spoken, maybe, more seriously than jokingly.

“My good friend,” Emile said solemnly, “I shall be quite satisfied with an income of two hundred thousand livres. Please to set about it at once.”

“My good friend,” Emile said seriously, “I will be very happy with an income of two hundred thousand livres. Please start working on that immediately.”

“Do you not know the cost, Emile?” asked Raphael.

“Don't you know the cost, Emile?” asked Raphael.

“A nice excuse!” the poet cried; “ought we not to sacrifice ourselves for our friends?”

“A great excuse!” the poet exclaimed; “shouldn’t we sacrifice ourselves for our friends?”

“I have almost a mind to wish that you all were dead,” Valentin made answer, with a dark, inscrutable look at his boon companions.

“I almost want to wish that you all were dead,” Valentin replied, giving a dark, unreadable look to his close friends.

“Dying people are frightfully cruel,” said Emile, laughing. “You are rich now,” he went on gravely; “very well, I will give you two months at most before you grow vilely selfish. You are so dense already that you cannot understand a joke. You have only to go a little further to believe in your Magic Skin.”

“People on the verge of death are surprisingly cruel,” said Emile with a laugh. “You’re wealthy now,” he continued seriously; “fine, I’ll give you two months at most before you become disgustingly selfish. You’re so clueless already that you can’t even get a joke. You just have to go a bit further to start believing in your Magic Skin.”

Raphael kept silent, fearing the banter of the company; but he drank immoderately, trying to drown in intoxication the recollection of his fatal power.

Raphael stayed quiet, afraid of the group's teasing; but he drank heavily, trying to drown out the memories of his dangerous influence in a haze of alcohol.





III. THE AGONY

In the early days of December an old man of some seventy years of age pursued his way along the Rue de Varenne, in spite of the falling rain. He peered up at the door of each house, trying to discover the address of the Marquis Raphael de Valentin, in a simple, childlike fashion, and with the abstracted look peculiar to philosophers. His face plainly showed traces of a struggle between a heavy mortification and an authoritative nature; his long, gray hair hung in disorder about a face like a piece of parchment shriveling in the fire. If a painter had come upon this curious character, he would, no doubt, have transferred him to his sketchbook on his return, a thin, bony figure, clad in black, and have inscribed beneath it: “Classical poet in search of a rhyme.” When he had identified the number that had been given to him, this reincarnation of Rollin knocked meekly at the door of a splendid mansion.

In early December, an old man around seventy years old made his way along Rue de Varenne, despite the rain falling. He glanced up at each house, trying to find the address of Marquis Raphael de Valentin, in a simple and childlike manner, with the absent-minded look typical of philosophers. His face clearly showed signs of a struggle between deep embarrassment and a commanding personality; his long, gray hair was tousled around a face that looked like a piece of parchment shriveling in the fire. If a painter had encountered this interesting character, he would likely have sketched him later, depicting a thin, bony figure dressed in black, with a caption reading: “Classical poet in search of a rhyme.” Once he found the number he was looking for, this reincarnation of Rollin knocked gently on the door of an impressive mansion.

“Is Monsieur Raphael in?” the worthy man inquired of the Swiss in livery.

“Is Monsieur Raphael here?” the respectable man asked the Swiss guard in uniform.

“My Lord the Marquis sees nobody,” said the servant, swallowing a huge morsel that he had just dipped in a large bowl of coffee.

“My Lord the Marquis isn’t seeing anyone,” said the servant, swallowing a big bite he had just dipped into a large bowl of coffee.

“There is his carriage,” said the elderly stranger, pointing to a fine equipage that stood under the wooden canopy that sheltered the steps before the house, in place of a striped linen awning. “He is going out; I will wait for him.”

“There’s his carriage,” said the elderly stranger, pointing to a nice coach that stood under the wooden canopy protecting the steps in front of the house, instead of a striped linen awning. “He’s leaving; I’ll wait for him.”

“Then you might wait here till to-morrow morning, old boy,” said the Swiss. “A carriage is always waiting for monsieur. Please to go away. If I were to let any stranger come into the house without orders, I should lose an income of six hundred francs.”

“Then you might wait here until tomorrow morning, my friend,” said the Swiss. “A carriage is always waiting for you. Please leave. If I let any stranger come into the house without permission, I would lose an income of six hundred francs.”

A tall old man, in a costume not unlike that of a subordinate in the Civil Service, came out of the vestibule and hurried part of the way down the steps, while he made a survey of the astonished elderly applicant for admission.

A tall old man, dressed similarly to a lower-level government worker, came out of the entrance and rushed partway down the steps, while he took a look at the surprised older person applying for entry.

“What is more, here is M. Jonathan,” the Swiss remarked; “speak to him.”

“Also, here’s M. Jonathan,” the Swiss said; “talk to him.”

Fellow-feeling of some kind, or curiosity, brought the two old men together in a central space in the great entrance-court. A few blades of grass were growing in the crevices of the pavement; a terrible silence reigned in that great house. The sight of Jonathan’s face would have made you long to understand the mystery that brooded over it, and that was announced by the smallest trifles about the melancholy place.

Some kind of shared feeling or curiosity brought the two old men together in the main area of the large entrance courtyard. A few blades of grass were sprouting in the cracks of the pavement; a heavy silence hung over the great house. Looking at Jonathan's face would make you want to unravel the mystery that surrounded it, hinted at by the smallest details of the gloomy setting.

When Raphael inherited his uncle’s vast estate, his first care had been to seek out the old and devoted servitor of whose affection he knew that he was secure. Jonathan had wept tears of joy at the sight of his young master, of whom he thought he had taken a final farewell; and when the marquis exalted him to the high office of steward, his happiness could not be surpassed. So old Jonathan became an intermediary power between Raphael and the world at large. He was the absolute disposer of his master’s fortune, the blind instrument of an unknown will, and a sixth sense, as it were, by which the emotions of life were communicated to Raphael.

When Raphael inherited his uncle’s vast estate, his first priority was to find the old and loyal servant whose affection he knew he could count on. Jonathan had cried tears of joy at seeing his young master, believing he had said a final goodbye; and when the marquis promoted him to the high position of steward, his happiness was beyond measure. Thus, old Jonathan became a crucial link between Raphael and the outside world. He had full control over his master’s wealth, acted as a blind instrument of an unknown will, and served as a kind of sixth sense, relaying the emotions of life to Raphael.

“I should like to speak with M. Raphael, sir,” said the elderly person to Jonathan, as he climbed up the steps some way, into a shelter from the rain.

“I’d like to speak with M. Raphael, sir,” the elderly person told Jonathan as he climbed up the steps, finding shelter from the rain.

“To speak with my Lord the Marquis?” the steward cried. “He scarcely speaks even to me, his foster-father!”

“To talk to my Lord the Marquis?” the steward exclaimed. “He hardly even talks to me, his foster father!”

“But I am likewise his foster-father,” said the old man. “If your wife was his foster-mother, I fed him myself with the milk of the Muses. He is my nursling, my child, carus alumnus! I formed his mind, cultivated his understanding, developed his genius, and, I venture to say it, to my own honor and glory. Is he not one of the most remarkable men of our epoch? He was one of my pupils in two lower forms, and in rhetoric. I am his professor.”

“But I’m also his foster father,” said the old man. “If your wife is his foster mother, I personally fed him with the milk of the Muses. He’s my nursling, my child, dear student! I shaped his mind, nurtured his understanding, developed his talent, and, I dare say, to my own honor and glory. Is he not one of the most impressive men of our time? He was one of my students in two lower grades and in rhetoric. I am his professor.”

“Ah, sir, then you are M. Porriquet?”

“Ah, sir, so you are Mr. Porriquet?”

“Exactly, sir, but——”

"Right, sir, but——"

“Hush! hush!” Jonathan called to two underlings, whose voices broke the monastic silence that shrouded the house.

“Hush! hush!” Jonathan called to two subordinates, whose voices broke the monastic silence that surrounded the house.

“But is the Marquis ill, sir?” the professor continued.

“But is the Marquis sick, sir?” the professor continued.

“My dear sir,” Jonathan replied, “Heaven only knows what is the matter with my master. You see, there are not a couple of houses like ours anywhere in Paris. Do you understand? Not two houses. Faith, that there are not. My Lord the Marquis had this hotel purchased for him; it formerly belonged to a duke and a peer of France; then he spent three hundred thousand francs over furnishing it. That’s a good deal, you know, three hundred thousand francs! But every room in the house is a perfect wonder. ‘Good,’ said I to myself when I saw this magnificence; ‘it is just like it used to be in the time of my lord, his late grandfather; and the young marquis is going to entertain all Paris and the Court!’ Nothing of the kind! My lord refused to see any one whatever. ‘Tis a funny life that he leads, M. Porriquet, you understand. An inconciliable life. He rises every day at the same time. I am the only person, you see, that may enter his room. I open all the shutters at seven o’clock, summer or winter. It is all arranged very oddly. As I come in I say to him:

“My dear sir,” Jonathan replied, “Heaven only knows what’s wrong with my master. You see, there aren’t any houses like ours anywhere in Paris. Do you get it? Not two houses. Honestly, there aren’t. My Lord the Marquis bought this hotel; it used to belong to a duke and a peer of France; then he spent three hundred thousand francs on furnishing it. That’s quite a lot, you know, three hundred thousand francs! But every room in the place is absolutely stunning. ‘Good,’ I thought when I saw this grandeur; ‘it’s just like it used to be in the time of my lord, his late grandfather; and the young marquis is going to host all of Paris and the Court!’ Nothing of the sort! My lord refuses to see anyone at all. It’s a strange life he leads, M. Porriquet, you know. An inconciliable life. He gets up every day at the same time. I’m the only one allowed to enter his room. I open all the shutters at seven o’clock, summer or winter. Everything is arranged quite oddly. As I come in, I say to him:

“‘You must get up and dress, my Lord Marquis.’

“‘You need to get up and get dressed, my Lord Marquis.’”

“Then he rises and dresses himself. I have to give him his dressing-gown, and it is always after the same pattern, and of the same material. I am obliged to replace it when it can be used no longer, simply to save him the trouble of asking for a new one. A queer fancy! As a matter of fact, he has a thousand francs to spend every day, and he does as he pleases, the dear child. And besides, I am so fond of him that if he gave me a box on the ear on one side, I should hold out the other to him! The most difficult things he will tell me to do, and yet I do them, you know! He gives me a lot of trifles to attend to, that I am well set to work! He reads the newspapers, doesn’t he? Well, my instructions are to put them always in the same place, on the same table. I always go at the same hour and shave him myself; and don’t I tremble! The cook would forfeit the annuity of a thousand crowns that he is to come into after my lord’s death, if breakfast is not served inconciliably at ten o’clock precisely. The menus are drawn up for the whole year round, day after day. My Lord the Marquis has not a thing to wish for. He has strawberries whenever there are any, and he has the earliest mackerel to be had in Paris. The programme is printed every morning. He knows his dinner by rote. In the next place, he dresses himself at the same hour, in the same clothes, the same linen, that I always put on the same chair, you understand? I have to see that he always has the same cloth; and if it should happen that his coat came to grief (a mere supposition), I should have to replace it by another without saying a word about it to him. If it is fine, I go in and say to my master:

“Then he gets up and gets dressed. I have to give him his dressing gown, and it's always the same style and material. I have to replace it when it wears out, just to save him the hassle of asking for a new one. A strange quirk! The truth is, he has a thousand francs to spend every day, and he does whatever he wants, the sweet child. Plus, I care for him so much that if he slapped me on one side, I’d still offer the other! He asks me to do the most challenging things, and I still do them, you know! He gives me a lot of little tasks to keep me busy! He reads the newspapers, right? Well, I’m instructed to always put them in the same spot on the same table. I always go at the same time and shave him myself; it’s nerve-wracking! The cook would lose the thousand crowns he’s supposed to get after my lord’s death if breakfast isn’t served exactly at ten o’clock. The menus are planned for the entire year, day after day. My Lord the Marquis has everything he could want. He has strawberries whenever they’re available, and he gets the first mackerel in Paris. The schedule is printed every morning. He knows his dinner by heart. Plus, he gets dressed at the same time in the same clothes and linen, which I always place on the same chair, you see? I have to make sure he always has the same fabric; and if his coat were to get damaged (just a hypothetical situation), I’d have to replace it without saying a word to him about it. If it’s nice out, I go in and say to my master:

“‘You ought to go out, sir.’

"‘You should go out, sir.’"

“He says Yes, or No. If he has a notion that he will go out, he doesn’t wait for his horses; they are always ready harnessed; the coachman stops there inconciliably, whip in hand, just as you see him out there. In the evening, after dinner, my master goes one day to the Opera, the other to the Ital——no, he hasn’t yet gone to the Italiens, though, for I could not find a box for him until yesterday. Then he comes in at eleven o’clock precisely, to go to bed. At any time in the day when he has nothing to do, he reads—he is always reading, you see—it is a notion he has. My instructions are to read the Journal de la Librairie before he sees it, and to buy new books, so that he finds them on his chimney-piece on the very day that they are published. I have orders to go into his room every hour or so, to look after the fire and everything else, and to see that he wants nothing. He gave me a little book, sir, to learn off by heart, with all my duties written in it—a regular catechism! In summer I have to keep a cool and even temperature with blocks of ice and at all seasons to put fresh flowers all about. He is rich! He has a thousand francs to spend every day; he can indulge his fancies! And he hadn’t even necessaries for so long, poor child! He doesn’t annoy anybody; he is as good as gold; he never opens his mouth, for instance; the house and garden are absolutely silent. In short, my master has not a single wish left; everything comes in the twinkling of an eye, if he raises his hand, and instanter. Quite right, too. If servants are not looked after, everything falls into confusion. You would never believe the lengths he goes about things. His rooms are all—what do you call it?—er—er—en suite. Very well; just suppose, now, that he opens his room door or the door of his study; presto! all the other doors fly open of themselves by a patent contrivance; and then he can go from one end of the house to the other and not find a single door shut; which is all very nice and pleasant and convenient for us great folk! But, on my word, it cost us a lot of money! And, after all, M. Porriquet, he said to me at last:

“He says Yes or No. If he decides to go out, he doesn’t wait for his horses; they are always ready to go. The coachman stands there inconciliably, whip in hand, just like you see him outside. In the evening, after dinner, my master goes to the Opera one night and the Ital the next—no, he hasn’t gone to the Italiens yet, since I couldn’t find him a box until yesterday. Then he comes in at exactly eleven o’clock to go to bed. During the day, when he has nothing to do, he reads—he’s always reading, you see—it’s just something he does. My instructions are to read the Journal de la Librairie before he sees it and to buy new books, so that they’re on his mantelpiece the very day they’re published. I have orders to check on him every hour or so, to tend to the fire and everything else, making sure he needs nothing. He gave me a little book, sir, to memorize, with all my duties in it—a complete catechism! In summer, I have to keep the temperature cool and even with blocks of ice, and year-round, I put fresh flowers everywhere. He is wealthy! He has a thousand francs to spend every day; he can indulge his whims! And for so long, poor thing, he had to do without even the basics! He doesn’t bother anyone; he’s as good as gold; he hardly speaks, for example; the house and garden are completely silent. In short, my master has no wishes left; everything comes in the blink of an eye, if he raises his hand, and instanter. Quite right, too. If servants aren’t looked after, everything goes to chaos. You’d never believe the lengths he goes to about things. His rooms are all—what do you call it?—er—er—en suite. Very well; just imagine he opens his room door or the door of his study; presto! all the other doors swing open by a clever contraption; and then he can go from one end of the house to the other without finding a single door shut; which is all very nice and pleasant and convenient for us important people! But, honestly, it cost us a lot of money! And, after all, M. Porriquet, he finally said to me:

“‘Jonathan, you will look after me as if I were a baby in long clothes,’ Yes, sir, ‘long clothes!’ those were his very words. ‘You will think of all my requirements for me.’ I am the master, so to speak, and he is the servant, you understand? The reason of it? Ah, my word, that is just what nobody on earth knows but himself and God Almighty. It is quite inconciliable!”

“‘Jonathan, you will take care of me as if I were a baby in long clothes,’ Yes, sir, 'long clothes!' those were his exact words. ‘You will think of all my needs for me.’ I am the master, so to speak, and he is the servant, you see? The reason for this? Oh my, that is just what no one on earth knows but him and God Almighty. It is quite inconceivable!”

“He is writing a poem!” exclaimed the old professor.

“He's writing a poem!” the old professor exclaimed.

“You think he is writing a poem, sir? It’s a very absorbing affair, then! But, you know, I don’t think he is. He often tells me that he wants to live like a vergetation; he wants to vergetate. Only yesterday he was looking at a tulip while he was dressing, and he said to me:

“You really think he’s writing a poem, sir? That sounds pretty intense! But honestly, I don’t think he is. He often tells me that he wants to live like a vergetation; he wants to vergetate. Just yesterday, while he was getting dressed, he was staring at a tulip and said to me:

“‘There is my own life—I am vergetating, my poor Jonathan.’ Now, some of them insist that that is monomania. It is inconciliable!”

“‘There’s my own life—I am vergetating, my poor Jonathan.’ Now, some of them argue that this is an obsession. It is inconciliable!”

“All this makes it very clear to me, Jonathan,” the professor answered, with a magisterial solemnity that greatly impressed the old servant, “that your master is absorbed in a great work. He is deep in vast meditations, and has no wish to be distracted by the petty preoccupations of ordinary life. A man of genius forgets everything among his intellectual labors. One day the famous Newton——”

“All this makes it very clear to me, Jonathan,” the professor replied, with a serious demeanor that really impressed the old servant, “that your master is focused on an important project. He is deeply engaged in significant thoughts and does not want to be distracted by the trivial concerns of everyday life. A genius loses himself in his intellectual pursuits. One day the famous Newton——”

“Newton?—oh, ah! I don’t know the name,” said Jonathan.

“Newton?—oh, wow! I don’t know that name,” said Jonathan.

“Newton, a great geometrician,” Porriquet went on, “once sat for twenty-four hours leaning his elbow on the table; when he emerged from his musings, he was a day out in his reckoning, just as if he had been sleeping. I will go to see him, dear lad; I may perhaps be of some use to him.”

“Newton, a great mathematician,” Porriquet continued, “once spent twenty-four hours with his elbow on the table lost in thought; when he finally came to, he had completely lost track of time, just like he was asleep. I’m going to visit him, my friend; I might be able to help him.”

“Not for a moment!” Jonathan cried. “Not though you were King of France—I mean the real old one. You could not go in unless you forced the doors open and walked over my body. But I will go and tell him you are here, M. Porriquet, and I will put it to him like this, ‘Ought he to come up?’ And he will say Yes or No. I never say, ‘Do you wish?’ or ‘Will you?’ or ‘Do you want?’ Those words are scratched out of the dictionary. He let out at me once with a ‘Do you want to kill me?’ he was so very angry.”

“Not for a second!” Jonathan shouted. “Not even if you were the King of France—I mean the real old one. You wouldn’t be able to get in unless you broke down the doors and walked over my body. But I’ll go and tell him you’re here, M. Porriquet, and I’ll put it to him like this: ‘Should he come up?’ And he’ll say yes or no. I never say, ‘Do you wish?’ or ‘Will you?’ or ‘Do you want?’ Those words are crossed out of the dictionary. He yelled at me once with a ‘Do you want to kill me?’ he was so angry.”

Jonathan left the old schoolmaster in the vestibule, signing to him to come no further, and soon returned with a favorable answer. He led the old gentleman through one magnificent room after another, where every door stood open. At last Porriquet beheld his pupil at some distance seated beside the fire.

Jonathan left the old schoolmaster in the entryway, signaling for him to stay back, and soon came back with a positive response. He guided the older man through one stunning room after another, where every door was wide open. Finally, Porriquet saw his student sitting by the fire in the distance.

Raphael was reading the paper. He sat in an armchair wrapped in a dressing-gown with some large pattern on it. The intense melancholy that preyed upon him could be discerned in his languid posture and feeble frame; it was depicted on his brow and white face; he looked like some plant bleached by darkness. There was a kind of effeminate grace about him; the fancies peculiar to wealthy invalids were also noticeable. His hands were soft and white, like a pretty woman’s; he wore his fair hair, now grown scanty, curled about his temples with a refinement of vanity.

Raphael was reading the newspaper. He sat in an armchair wrapped in a patterned robe. The deep sadness that weighed on him was evident in his relaxed posture and frail body; it showed on his forehead and pale face; he resembled a plant faded by the lack of light. There was a certain delicate elegance about him; the quirks typical of rich people with health issues were also apparent. His hands were soft and pale, like a beautiful woman’s; his thinning fair hair curled around his temples in a vain touch of sophistication.

The Greek cap that he wore was pulled to one side by the weight of its tassel; too heavy for the light material of which it was made. He had let the paper-knife fall at his feet, a malachite blade with gold mounting, which he had used to cut the leaves of the book. The amber mouthpiece of a magnificent Indian hookah lay on his knee; the enameled coils lay like a serpent in the room, but he had forgotten to draw out its fresh perfume. And yet there was a complete contradiction between the general feebleness of his young frame and the blue eyes, where all his vitality seemed to dwell; an extraordinary intelligence seemed to look out from them and to grasp everything at once.

The Greek cap he wore was tipped to one side because of the heavy tassel; it was too weighty for the light fabric it was made from. He had dropped the paper knife at his feet, a malachite blade with gold fittings, which he had used to cut the pages of the book. The amber mouthpiece of a stunning Indian hookah rested on his knee; the enameled coils sprawled out like a serpent in the room, but he had forgotten to puff out its fresh scent. Still, there was a striking contrast between the overall weakness of his young body and his blue eyes, where all his energy seemed to reside; an extraordinary intelligence seemed to shine from them and grasp everything at once.

That expression was painful to see. Some would have read despair in it, and others some inner conflict terrible as remorse. It was the inscrutable glance of helplessness that must perforce consign its desires to the depths of its own heart; or of a miser enjoying in imagination all the pleasures that his money could procure for him, while he declines to lessen his hoard; the look of a bound Prometheus, of the fallen Napoleon of 1815, when he learned at the Elysee the strategical blunder that his enemies had made, and asked for twenty-four hours of command in vain; or rather it was the same look that Raphael had turned upon the Seine, or upon his last piece of gold at the gaming-table only a few months ago.

That look was painful to witness. Some might have seen despair in it, while others could have interpreted it as a deep inner conflict similar to remorse. It was the unreadable gaze of helplessness that inevitably had to bury its desires deep within; like a miser relishing the imagined pleasures his wealth could bring him, yet refusing to part with any of it; the expression of a bound Prometheus, or the fallen Napoleon of 1815, when he found out at the Elysee about the strategic mistake his enemies had made and vainly asked for twenty-four more hours of command; or perhaps it was the same look Raphael had directed at the Seine or at his last piece of gold at the gaming table only a few months ago.

He was submitting his intelligence and his will to the homely common-sense of an old peasant whom fifty years of domestic service had scarcely civilized. He had given up all the rights of life in order to live; he had despoiled his soul of all the romance that lies in a wish; and almost rejoiced at thus becoming a sort of automaton. The better to struggle with the cruel power that he had challenged, he had followed Origen’s example, and had maimed and chastened his imagination.

He was handing over his intellect and will to the simple practicality of an old farmer who, after fifty years of working at home, was hardly refined. He had sacrificed all the joys of life just to survive; he had stripped his soul of all the dreams that come with desire; and he almost felt relieved to turn into a kind of machine. To better fight against the harsh force he had confronted, he had followed Origen’s example and had dulled and disciplined his imagination.

The day after he had seen the diminution of the Magic Skin, at his sudden accession of wealth, he happened to be at his notary’s house. A well-known physician had told them quite seriously, at dessert, how a Swiss attacked by consumption had cured himself. The man had never spoken a word for ten years, and had compelled himself to draw six breaths only, every minute, in the close atmosphere of a cow-house, adhering all the time to a regimen of exceedingly light diet. “I will be like that man,” thought Raphael to himself. He wanted life at any price, and so he led the life of a machine in the midst of all the luxury around him.

The day after he noticed the shrinking of the Magic Skin, following his sudden wealth, he found himself at his notary’s house. A well-known doctor had seriously shared at dessert how a Swiss man suffering from tuberculosis had cured himself. This man hadn’t spoken a word for ten years and forced himself to take only six breaths per minute in the confined space of a cow shed, sticking to an extremely light diet the whole time. “I will be like that man,” Raphael thought to himself. He wanted to cling to life at any cost, so he lived a mechanical existence despite all the luxury surrounding him.

The old professor confronted this youthful corpse and shuddered; there seemed something unnatural about the meagre, enfeebled frame. In the Marquis, with his eager eyes and careworn forehead, he could hardly recognize the fresh-cheeked and rosy pupil with the active limbs, whom he remembered. If the worthy classicist, sage critic, and general preserver of the traditions of correct taste had read Byron, he would have thought that he had come on a Manfred when he looked to find Childe Harold.

The old professor faced this young corpse and shuddered; there was something unnatural about the thin, frail body. In the Marquis, with his eager eyes and worn forehead, he could barely recognize the fresh-faced, rosy student with the active limbs he remembered. If the respectable classicist, wise critic, and overall guardian of the traditions of good taste had read Byron, he would have thought he had stumbled upon a Manfred when he expected to find Childe Harold.

“Good day, pere Porriquet,” said Raphael, pressing the old schoolmaster’s frozen fingers in his own damp ones; “how are you?”

“Good day, Mr. Porriquet,” said Raphael, gripping the old teacher’s cold fingers in his own damp ones; “how are you?”

“I am very well,” replied the other, alarmed by the touch of that feverish hand. “But how about you?”

“I’m doing great,” replied the other, startled by the feel of that feverish hand. “But how about you?”

“Oh, I am hoping to keep myself in health.”

“Oh, I hope to stay healthy.”

“You are engaged in some great work, no doubt?”

“You're doing some great work, right?”

“No,” Raphael answered. “Exegi monumemtum, pere Porriquet; I have contributed an important page to science, and have now bidden her farewell for ever. I scarcely know where my manuscript is.”

“No,” Raphael answered. “I have built a monument, per Porriquet; I have contributed an important page to science, and have now said goodbye to it forever. I hardly know where my manuscript is.”

“The style is no doubt correct?” queried the schoolmaster. “You, I hope, would never have adopted the barbarous language of the new school, which fancies it has worked such wonders by discovering Ronsard!”

“The style is definitely correct, right?” asked the schoolmaster. “I hope you would never have embraced the crude language of the new school, which thinks it has achieved so much by discovering Ronsard!”

“My work treats of physiology pure and simple.”

"My work focuses on pure physiology."

“Oh, then, there is no more to be said,” the schoolmaster answered. “Grammar must yield to the exigencies of discovery. Nevertheless, young man, a lucid and harmonious style—the diction of Massillon, of M. de Buffon, of the great Racine—a classical style, in short, can never spoil anything——But, my friend,” the schoolmaster interrupted himself, “I was forgetting the object of my visit, which concerns my own interests.”

“Oh, in that case, there’s nothing more to discuss,” the schoolmaster replied. “Grammar has to give way to the demands of discovery. However, young man, a clear and elegant style—the words of Massillon, M. de Buffon, and the great Racine—essentially, a classical style, will never ruin anything. But, my friend,” the schoolmaster paused, “I almost forgot the reason for my visit, which is about my own interests.”

Too late Raphael recalled to mind the verbose eloquence and elegant circumlocutions which in a long professorial career had grown habitual to his old tutor, and almost regretted that he had admitted him; but just as he was about to wish to see him safely outside, he promptly suppressed his secret desire with a stealthy glance at the Magic Skin. It hung there before him, fastened down upon some white material, surrounded by a red line accurately traced about its prophetic outlines. Since that fatal carouse, Raphael had stifled every least whim, and had lived so as not to cause the slightest movement in the terrible talisman. The Magic Skin was like a tiger with which he must live without exciting its ferocity. He bore patiently, therefore, with the old schoolmaster’s prolixity.

Too late, Raphael remembered the long-winded speeches and fancy wording that his old tutor had developed over his lengthy teaching career, and he almost regretted letting him in. But just as he was about to wish for the tutor to leave, he quickly pushed that thought aside with a cautious glance at the Magic Skin. It was right in front of him, secured to some white material, surrounded by a red line perfectly drawn around its prophetic shape. Since that disastrous night of drinking, Raphael had suppressed every little desire and lived in a way that wouldn’t provoke the terrifying talisman. The Magic Skin was like a tiger that he had to coexist with without triggering its wrath. So, he patiently endured the old teacher’s verbosity.

Porriquet spent an hour in telling him about the persecutions directed against him ever since the Revolution of July. The worthy man, having a liking for strong governments, had expressed the patriotic wish that grocers should be left to their counters, statesmen to the management of public business, advocates to the Palais de Justice, and peers of France to the Luxembourg; but one of the popularity-seeking ministers of the Citizen King had ousted him from his chair, on an accusation of Carlism, and the old man now found himself without pension or post, and with no bread to eat. As he played the part of guardian angel to a poor nephew, for whose schooling at Saint Sulpice he was paying, he came less on his own account than for his adopted child’s sake, to entreat his former pupil’s interest with the new minister. He did not ask to be reinstated, but only for a position at the head of some provincial school.

Porriquet spent an hour telling him about the hardships he faced since the July Revolution. The good man, who preferred strong governments, had expressed the patriotic wish that grocers should stick to their shops, politicians should handle public affairs, lawyers should work at the Palais de Justice, and peers of France should be at the Luxembourg; but one of the popularity-seeking ministers of the Citizen King had removed him from his position over accusations of Carlism. Now, the old man found himself without a pension or job and with no food to eat. Acting as a guardian angel to a poor nephew for whom he was paying tuition at Saint Sulpice, he came not just for himself but for the sake of his adopted child to seek his former pupil’s help with the new minister. He wasn't asking to be reinstated, just for a position leading a provincial school.

QRaphael had fallen a victim to unconquerable drowsiness by the time that the worthy man’s monotonous voice ceased to sound in his ears. Civility had compelled him to look at the pale and unmoving eyes of the deliberate and tedious old narrator, till he himself had reached stupefaction, magnetized in an inexplicable way by the power of inertia.

QRaphael had succumbed to overwhelming drowsiness by the time the worthy man's monotonous voice finally faded away. Out of politeness, he had forced himself to look into the pale, unblinking eyes of the slow and tedious old storyteller, until he had become completely dazed, somehow drawn in by the power of inertia.

“Well, my dear pere Porriquet,” he said, not very certain what the question was to which he was replying, “but I can do nothing for you, nothing at all. I wish very heartily that you may succeed——”

“Well, my dear Pere Porriquet,” he said, not completely sure what the question was he was answering, “but I can’t do anything for you, nothing at all. I truly hope that you succeed——”

All at once, without seeing the change wrought on the old man’s sallow and wrinkled brow by these conventional phrases, full of indifference and selfishness, Raphael sprang to his feet like a startled roebuck. He saw a thin white line between the black piece of hide and the red tracing about it, and gave a cry so fearful that the poor professor was frightened by it.

All of a sudden, not noticing the impact of those typical phrases filled with indifference and selfishness on the old man’s pale and wrinkled forehead, Raphael jumped up like a startled deer. He spotted a thin white line between the black piece of hide and the red lines around it, and let out a scream so terrifying that it scared the poor professor.

“Old fool! Go!” he cried. “You will be appointed as headmaster! Couldn’t you have asked me for an annuity of a thousand crowns rather than a murderous wish? Your visit would have cost me nothing. There are a hundred thousand situations to be had in France, but I have only one life. A man’s life is worth more than all the situations in the world.—Jonathan!”

“Old fool! Go!” he yelled. “You’ll be named headmaster! Why couldn’t you have asked me for an annuity of a thousand crowns instead of wishing me dead? Your visit wouldn’t have cost me anything. There are hundreds of thousands of opportunities in France, but I have only one life. A person’s life is worth more than all the opportunities in the world.—Jonathan!”

Jonathan appeared.

Jonathan showed up.

“This is your doing, double-distilled idiot! What made you suggest that I should see M. Porriquet?” and he pointed to the old man, who was petrified with fright. “Did I put myself in your hands for you to tear me in pieces? You have just shortened my life by ten years! Another blunder of this kind, and you will lay me where I have laid my father. Would I not far rather have possessed the beautiful Foedora? And I have obliged that old hulk instead—that rag of humanity! I had money enough for him. And, moreover, if all the Porriquets in the world were dying of hunger, what is that to me?”

“This is your fault, you complete idiot! Why did you suggest that I see M. Porriquet?” He pointed at the old man, who looked frozen in fear. “Did I trust you to handle my affairs just to destroy me? You've just taken ten years off my life! One more mistake like this, and you’ll end up burying me just like I buried my father. Wouldn’t I have preferred to have the beautiful Foedora instead? But here I am, helping this old wreck—this useless human being! I had enough money for him. And honestly, if every Porriquet in the world was starving, why should I care?”

Raphael’s face was white with anger; a slight froth marked his trembling lips; there was a savage gleam in his eyes. The two elders shook with terror in his presence like two children at the sight of a snake. The young man fell back in his armchair, a kind of reaction took place in him, the tears flowed fast from his angry eyes.

Raphael's face was pale with rage; a slight foam gathered on his shaking lips; there was a fierce spark in his eyes. The two elders trembled in fear before him, like children seeing a snake. The young man slumped back in his armchair, a wave of emotion washing over him, as tears streamed quickly from his furious eyes.

“Oh, my life!” he cried, “that fair life of mine. Never to know a kindly thought again, to love no more; nothing is left to me!”

“Oh, my life!” he cried, “that beautiful life of mine. Never to know a kind thought again, to love no more; there's nothing left for me!”

He turned to the professor and went on in a gentle voice—“The harm is done, my old friend. Your services have been well repaid; and my misfortune has at any rate contributed to the welfare of a good and worthy man.”

He turned to the professor and said softly, “The damage is done, my old friend. You’ve been compensated well for your services; and my bad luck has, at least, helped a good and deserving man.”

His tones betrayed so much feeling that the almost unintelligible words drew tears from the two old men, such tears as are shed over some pathetic song in a foreign tongue.

His voice revealed so much emotion that the nearly incomprehensible words brought tears to the two old men, the kind of tears that are shed over a touching song in a foreign language.

“He is epileptic,” muttered Porriquet.

"He's epileptic," muttered Porriquet.

“I understand your kind intentions, my friend,” Raphael answered gently. “You would make excuses for me. Ill-health cannot be helped, but ingratitude is a grievous fault. Leave me now,” he added. “To-morrow or the next day, or possibly to-night, you will receive your appointment; Resistance has triumphed over Motion. Farewell.”

“I appreciate your good intentions, my friend,” Raphael replied softly. “You want to make excuses for me. Illness is beyond our control, but ingratitude is a serious mistake. Please leave me now,” he continued. “Tomorrow, the day after, or maybe even tonight, you’ll get your appointment; Resistance has won over Motion. Goodbye.”

The old schoolmaster went away, full of keen apprehension as to Valentin’s sanity. A thrill of horror ran through him; there had been something supernatural, he thought, in the scene he had passed through. He could hardly believe his own impressions, and questioned them like one awakened from a painful dream.

The old schoolmaster left, filled with anxiety about Valentin’s mental state. A wave of fear washed over him; he thought there was something supernatural in the scene he had just experienced. He could barely trust his own feelings and doubted them like someone waking up from a bad dream.

“Now attend to me, Jonathan,” said the young man to his old servant. “Try to understand the charge confided to you.”

“Now listen to me, Jonathan,” said the young man to his old servant. “Try to understand the responsibility given to you.”

“Yes, my Lord Marquis.”

“Yes, my Lord Marquis.”

“I am as a man outlawed from humanity.”

“I feel like a man who has been cast out from humanity.”

“Yes, my Lord Marquis.”

“Yes, my Lord Marquis.”

“All the pleasures of life disport themselves round my bed of death, and dance about me like fair women; but if I beckon to them, I must die. Death always confronts me. You must be the barrier between the world and me.”

"All the pleasures of life play around my deathbed and dance around me like beautiful women; but if I call to them, I have to die. Death is always right in front of me. You have to be the wall between the world and me."

“Yes, my Lord Marquis,” said the old servant, wiping the drops of perspiration from his wrinkled forehead. “But if you don’t wish to see pretty women, how will you manage at the Italiens this evening? An English family is returning to London, and I have taken their box for the rest of the season, and it is in a splendid position—superb; in the first row.”

“Yes, my Lord Marquis,” said the old servant, wiping the sweat from his wrinkled forehead. “But if you don’t want to see beautiful women, how will you handle it at the Italian performance this evening? An English family is heading back to London, and I’ve secured their box for the rest of the season. It’s in a fantastic spot—right in the front row.”

Raphael, deep in his own deep musings, paid no attention to him.

Raphael, lost in his own thoughts, didn’t pay any attention to him.

“Do you see that splendid equipage, a brougham painted a dark brown color, but with the arms of an ancient and noble family shining from the panels? As it rolls past, all the shop-girls admire it, and look longingly at the yellow satin lining, the rugs from la Savonnerie, the daintiness and freshness of every detail, the silken cushions and tightly-fitting glass windows. Two liveried footmen are mounted behind this aristocratic carriage; and within, a head lies back among the silken cushions, the feverish face and hollow eyes of Raphael, melancholy and sad. Emblem of the doom of wealth! He flies across Paris like a rocket, and reaches the peristyle of the Theatre Favart. The passers-by make way for him; the two footmen help him to alight, an envious crowd looking on the while.”

“Do you see that amazing carriage, a brougham painted dark brown, but with the crest of an ancient noble family glowing on the sides? As it goes by, all the shopgirls admire it and gaze longingly at the yellow satin lining, the rugs from la Savonnerie, the elegance and freshness of every detail, the silk cushions, and the snug glass windows. Two uniformed footmen are stationed behind this aristocratic carriage; inside, a head reclines among the silk cushions, the feverish face and hollow eyes of Raphael, melancholic and sad. A symbol of the fate of wealth! He zooms through Paris like a rocket and arrives at the entrance of the Theatre Favart. The people part for him; the two footmen assist him to get down, watched by an envious crowd.”

“What has that fellow done to be so rich?” asks a poor law-student, who cannot listen to the magical music of Rossini for lack of a five-franc piece.

“What has that guy done to be so rich?” asks a poor law student, who can’t enjoy the enchanting music of Rossini for the lack of a five-franc coin.

Raphael walked slowly along the gangway; he expected no enjoyment from these pleasures he had once coveted so eagerly. In the interval before the second act of Semiramide he walked up and down in the lobby, and along the corridors, leaving his box, which he had not yet entered, to look after itself. The instinct of property was dead within him already. Like all invalids, he thought of nothing but his own sufferings. He was leaning against the chimney-piece in the greenroom. A group had gathered about it of dandies, young and old, of ministers, of peers without peerages, and peerages without peers, for so the Revolution of July had ordered matters. Among a host of adventurers and journalists, in fact, Raphael beheld a strange, unearthly figure a few paces away among the crowd. He went towards this grotesque object to see it better, half-closing his eyes with exceeding superciliousness.

Raphael walked slowly along the walkway; he didn’t expect to enjoy these pleasures he had once sought after so eagerly. During the break before the second act of Semiramide, he strolled in the lobby and along the corridors, leaving his box, which he hadn’t entered yet, to take care of itself. The sense of ownership was already gone within him. Like all people who are unwell, he thought only of his own pain. He leaned against the mantelpiece in the greenroom. A group had gathered around it, consisting of fashionable people, both young and old, ministers, peers without titles, and titles without peers, as the Revolution of July had arranged things. Among a crowd of adventurers and journalists, Raphael spotted a strange, otherworldly figure a few steps away. He approached this odd sight to get a better look, half-closing his eyes with great arrogance.

“What a wonderful bit of painting!” he said to himself. The stranger’s hair and eyebrows and a Mazarin tuft on the chin had been dyed black, but the result was a spurious, glossy, purple tint that varied its hues according to the light; the hair had been too white, no doubt, to take the preparation. Anxiety and cunning were depicted in the narrow, insignificant face, with its wrinkles incrusted by thick layers of red and white paint. This red enamel, lacking on some portions of his face, strongly brought out his natural feebleness and livid hues. It was impossible not to smile at this visage with the protuberant forehead and pointed chin, a face not unlike those grotesque wooden figures that German herdsmen carve in their spare moments.

“What a great piece of art!” he thought to himself. The stranger's hair and eyebrows, along with a little tuft on his chin, had been dyed black, but the result was a fake, glossy, purple tint that changed shades depending on the light; the hair must have been too white to take the dye properly. Anxiety and craftiness were evident in the narrow, unremarkable face, with wrinkles caked in thick layers of red and white paint. This red enamel, missing in some areas of his face, highlighted his natural frailty and pale colors. It was hard not to smile at this face with the bulging forehead and pointy chin, one that resembled those bizarre wooden figures that German shepherds carve in their free time.

An attentive observer looking from Raphael to this elderly Adonis would have remarked a young man’s eyes set in a mask of age, in the case of the Marquis, and in the other case the dim eyes of age peering forth from behind a mask of youth. Valentin tried to recollect when and where he had seen this little old man before. He was thin, fastidiously cravatted, booted and spurred like one-and-twenty; he crossed his arms and clinked his spurs as if he possessed all the wanton energy of youth. He seemed to move about without constraint or difficulty. He had carefully buttoned up his fashionable coat, which disguised his powerful, elderly frame, and gave him the appearance of an antiquated coxcomb who still follows the fashions.

An attentive observer looking from Raphael to this older Adonis would have noticed a young man's eyes behind a mask of age in the case of the Marquis, while in the other case, the dim eyes of age peeked out from behind a mask of youth. Valentin tried to remember when and where he had seen this little old man before. He was thin, meticulously dressed with a cravat, booted and spurred like someone in their early twenties; he crossed his arms and jingled his spurs as if he had all the reckless energy of youth. He seemed to move effortlessly and without restriction. He had carefully buttoned his stylish coat, which concealed his strong, older frame, giving him the look of an outdated dandy who still follows the trends.

For Raphael this animated puppet possessed all the interest of an apparition. He gazed at it as if it had been some smoke-begrimed Rembrandt, recently restored and newly framed. This idea found him a clue to the truth among his confused recollections; he recognized the dealer in antiquities, the man to whom he owed his calamities!

For Raphael, this animated puppet held all the intrigue of a ghost. He stared at it as if it were a recently restored and newly framed painting by Rembrandt, covered in soot. This thought gave him a hint of the truth amidst his jumbled memories; he identified the antique dealer, the man responsible for his misfortunes!

A noiseless laugh broke just then from the fantastical personage, straightening the line of his lips that stretched across a row of artificial teeth. That laugh brought out, for Raphael’s heated fancy, a strong resemblance between the man before him and the type of head that painters have assigned to Goethe’s Mephistopheles. A crowd of superstitious thoughts entered Raphael’s sceptical mind; he was convinced of the powers of the devil and of all the sorcerer’s enchantments embodied in mediaeval tradition, and since worked up by poets. Shrinking in horror from the destiny of Faust, he prayed for the protection of Heaven with all the ardent faith of a dying man in God and the Virgin. A clear, bright radiance seemed to give him a glimpse of the heaven of Michael Angelo or of Raphael of Urbino: a venerable white-bearded man, a beautiful woman seated in an aureole above the clouds and winged cherub heads. Now he had grasped and received the meaning of those imaginative, almost human creations; they seemed to explain what had happened to him, to leave him yet one hope.

A silent laugh suddenly came from the strange character, stretching the line of his lips that showed off a set of fake teeth. That laugh sparked in Raphael's heated imagination a strong likeness between the man in front of him and the kind of face that artists have given to Goethe's Mephistopheles. A flood of superstitious thoughts invaded Raphael's skeptical mind; he believed in the devil's powers and all the magician's spells rooted in medieval tradition and later elaborated by poets. Terrified by Faust's fate, he prayed for divine protection with all the fervent faith of a dying person in God and the Virgin. A clear, bright light seemed to give him a glimpse of the heaven depicted by Michelangelo or Raphael of Urbino: a wise, white-bearded man, a beautiful woman seated in a halo above the clouds, and cherubic faces with wings. Now he had understood and absorbed the meaning of those imaginative, almost human creations; they seemed to explain what had happened to him and left him with one last hope.

But when the greenroom of the Italiens returned upon his sight he beheld, not the Virgin, but a very handsome young person. The execrable Euphrasia, in all the splendor of her toilette, with its orient pearls, had come thither, impatient for her ardent, elderly admirer. She was insolently exhibiting herself with her defiant face and glittering eyes to an envious crowd of stockbrokers, a visible testimony to the inexhaustible wealth that the old dealer permitted her to squander.

But when the backstage area of the Italians came into view again, he saw not the Virgin but a striking young woman. The detestable Euphrasia, in all the glory of her outfit, adorned with Eastern pearls, had arrived, eager for her passionate, older admirer. She was confidently showing off her bold expression and sparkling eyes to a jealous crowd of stockbrokers, a clear sign of the endless wealth that the old dealer let her waste.

Raphael recollected the mocking wish with which he had accepted the old man’s luckless gift, and tasted all the sweets of revenge when he beheld the spectacle of sublime wisdom fallen to such a depth as this, wisdom for which such humiliation had seemed a thing impossible. The centenarian greeted Euphrasia with a ghastly smile, receiving her honeyed words in reply. He offered her his emaciated arm, and went twice or thrice round the greenroom with her; the envious glances and compliments with which the crowd received his mistress delighted him; he did not see the scornful smiles, nor hear the caustic comments to which he gave rise.

Raphael remembered the sarcastic wish he had made when he accepted the old man’s unfortunate gift, and he savored the sweet taste of revenge when he saw such profound wisdom reduced to this level, wisdom that had once seemed impossible to humiliate. The hundred-year-old man greeted Euphrasia with a creepy smile, accepting her flattering words in response. He offered her his frail arm and walked with her around the greenroom two or three times; he was pleased by the envious looks and compliments the crowd threw at his mistress; he didn’t notice the mocking smiles or hear the biting comments that he inspired.

“In what cemetery did this young ghoul unearth that corpse of hers?” asked a dandy of the Romantic faction.

“In which cemetery did this young ghoul dig up her corpse?” asked a stylish member of the Romantic group.

Euphrasia began to smile. The speaker was a slender, fair-haired youth, with bright blue eyes, and a moustache. His short dress coat, hat tilted over one ear, and sharp tongue, all denoted the species.

Euphrasia started to smile. The speaker was a slim, light-haired young man, with bright blue eyes and a mustache. His short coat, hat tilted to one side, and sharp wit all indicated his type.

“How many old men,” said Raphael to himself, “bring an upright, virtuous, and hard-working life to a close in folly! His feet are cold already, and he is making love.”

“How many old men,” Raphael thought to himself, “end their upright, virtuous, and hard-working lives in foolishness! His feet are already cold, and he's flirting.”

“Well, sir,” exclaimed Valentin, stopping the merchant’s progress, while he stared hard at Euphrasia, “have you quite forgotten the stringent maxims of your philosophy?”

“Well, sir,” exclaimed Valentin, stopping the merchant in his tracks as he stared intently at Euphrasia, “have you completely forgotten the strict principles of your philosophy?”

“Ah, I am as happy now as a young man,” said the other, in a cracked voice. “I used to look at existence from a wrong standpoint. One hour of love has a whole life in it.”

“Ah, I’m as happy now as a young man,” said the other, in a raspy voice. “I used to see life in the wrong way. An hour of love holds a whole lifetime in it.”

The playgoers heard the bell ring, and left the greenroom to take their places again. Raphael and the old merchant separated. As he entered his box, the Marquis saw Foedora sitting exactly opposite to him on the other side of the theatre. The Countess had probably only just come, for she was just flinging off her scarf to leave her throat uncovered, and was occupied with going through all the indescribable manoeuvres of a coquette arranging herself. All eyes were turned upon her. A young peer of France had come with her; she asked him for the lorgnette she had given him to carry. Raphael knew the despotism to which his successor had resigned himself, in her gestures, and in the way she treated her companion. He was also under the spell no doubt, another dupe beating with all the might of a real affection against the woman’s cold calculations, enduring all the tortures from which Valentin had luckily freed himself.

The audience heard the bell ring and left the greenroom to take their seats again. Raphael and the old merchant parted ways. As he entered his box, the Marquis saw Foedora sitting directly across from him on the other side of the theater. The Countess had probably just arrived, as she was in the process of removing her scarf to expose her neck and was busy with all the mysterious moves of a flirt trying to make herself look appealing. All eyes were on her. A young French nobleman was with her; she asked him for the lorgnette she had given him to hold. Raphael recognized the control that her new admirer had submitted to, evident in her gestures and how she treated her companion. He was also under her spell, undoubtedly another victim struggling with genuine feelings against her cold manipulations, enduring all the suffering from which Valentin had fortunately escaped.

Foedora’s face lighted up with indescribable joy. After directing her lorgnette upon every box in turn, to make a rapid survey of all the dresses, she was conscious that by her toilette and her beauty she had eclipsed the loveliest and best-dressed women in Paris. She laughed to show her white teeth; her head with its wreath of flowers was never still, in her quest of admiration. Her glances went from one box to another, as she diverted herself with the awkward way in which a Russian princess wore her bonnet, or over the utter failure of a bonnet with which a banker’s daughter had disfigured herself.

Foedora's face lit up with indescribable joy. After taking a quick look through her binoculars at every box to check out all the dresses, she realized that her outfit and beauty had outshined even the most beautiful and best-dressed women in Paris. She laughed to show off her white teeth; her head, adorned with a wreath of flowers, was constantly moving as she sought admiration. Her gaze shifted from one box to another as she entertained herself with the awkward way a Russian princess wore her hat or the complete disaster of a hat that a banker’s daughter had chosen.

All at once she met Raphael’s steady gaze and turned pale, aghast at the intolerable contempt in her rejected lover’s eyes. Not one of her exiled suitors had failed to own her power over them; Valentin alone was proof against her attractions. A power that can be defied with impunity is drawing to its end. This axiom is as deeply engraved on the heart of woman as in the minds of kings. In Raphael, therefore, Foedora saw the deathblow of her influence and her ability to please. An epigram of his, made at the Opera the day before, was already known in the salons of Paris. The biting edge of that terrible speech had already given the Countess an incurable wound. We know how to cauterize a wound, but we know of no treatment as yet for the stab of a phrase. As every other woman in the house looked by turns at her and at the Marquis, Foedora would have consigned them all to the oubliettes of some Bastille; for in spite of her capacity for dissimulation, her discomfiture was discerned by her rivals. Her unfailing consolation had slipped from her at last. The delicious thought, “I am the most beautiful,” the thought that at all times had soothed every mortification, had turned into a lie.

Suddenly, she met Raphael’s steady gaze and turned pale, horrified by the unbearable contempt in her rejected lover’s eyes. None of her past suitors had failed to acknowledge her power over them; only Valentin remained immune to her charms. A power that can be defied without consequence is coming to an end. This truth is engraved as deeply in the heart of a woman as it is in the minds of kings. In Raphael, then, Foedora saw the death of her influence and her ability to attract. An epigram of his, made at the Opera the day before, was already circulating in the salons of Paris. The sharp sting of that harsh comment had already inflicted an incurable wound on the Countess. We know how to heal wounds, but there’s no remedy yet for the pain of a cutting remark. As every other woman in the room took turns glancing at her and the Marquis, Foedora would have wished to send them all to the dungeons of some Bastille; for despite her skill at hiding her feelings, her discomfort was noticeable to her rivals. Her usual comfort had finally slipped away. The pleasurable thought, “I am the most beautiful,” which had always soothed her through every humiliation, had turned into a lie.

At the opening of the second act a woman took up her position not very far from Raphael, in a box that had been empty hitherto. A murmur of admiration went up from the whole house. In that sea of human faces there was a movement of every living wave; all eyes were turned upon the stranger lady. The applause of young and old was so prolonged, that when the orchestra began, the musicians turned to the audience to request silence, and then they themselves joined in the plaudits and swelled the confusion. Excited talk began in every box, every woman equipped herself with an opera glass, elderly men grew young again, and polished the glasses of their lorgnettes with their gloves. The enthusiasm subsided by degrees, the stage echoed with the voices of the singers, and order reigned as before. The aristocratic section, ashamed of having yielded to a spontaneous feeling, again assumed their wonted politely frigid manner. The well-to-do dislike to be astonished at anything; at the first sight of a beautiful thing it becomes their duty to discover the defect in it which absolves them from admiring it,—the feeling of all ordinary minds. Yet a few still remained motionless and heedless of the music, artlessly absorbed in the delight of watching Raphael’s neighbor.

At the start of the second act, a woman settled into a box that had been empty until then, not far from Raphael. A wave of admiration swept through the audience. In that crowd of faces, there was a ripple of excitement; all eyes were focused on the mysterious woman. The applause from young and old lasted so long that when the orchestra began, the musicians turned to the crowd to signal for silence, joining in the clapping and adding to the commotion. Excited chatter erupted in every box, women grabbed their opera glasses, and older men felt youthful again, polishing their lorgnette lenses with their gloves. The excitement gradually faded as the stage filled with the singers' voices, and order returned. The aristocratic section, embarrassed by their moment of spontaneous enthusiasm, reverted to their usual cool demeanor. The wealthy dislike being surprised by anything; upon first seeing something beautiful, they feel compelled to find a flaw in it to justify not admiring it—a sentiment shared by ordinary minds. Yet, a few remained still, oblivious to the music, lost in the pleasure of watching Raphael's companion.

Valentin noticed Taillefer’s mean, obnoxious countenance by Aquilina’s side in a lower box, and received an approving smirk from him. Then he saw Emile, who seemed to say from where he stood in the orchestra, “Just look at that lovely creature there, close beside you!” Lastly, he saw Rastignac, with Mme. de Nucingen and her daughter, twisting his gloves like a man in despair, because he was tethered to his place, and could not leave it to go any nearer to the unknown fair divinity.

Valentin noticed Taillefer’s nasty, annoying face next to Aquilina in a lower box, and he got an approving smirk from him. Then he spotted Emile, who seemed to say from his spot in the orchestra, “Just look at that beautiful woman right next to you!” Finally, he saw Rastignac, with Mme. de Nucingen and her daughter, twisting his gloves like a desperate man, because he was stuck in his seat and couldn’t get any closer to the unknown beautiful woman.

Raphael’s life depended upon a covenant that he had made with himself, and had hitherto kept sacred. He would give no special heed to any woman whatever; and the better to guard against temptation, he used a cunningly contrived opera-glass which destroyed the harmony of the fairest features by hideous distortions. He had not recovered from the terror that had seized on him in the morning when, at a mere expression of civility, the Magic Skin had contracted so abruptly. So Raphael was determined not to turn his face in the direction of his neighbor. He sat imperturbable as a duchess with his back against the corner of the box, thereby shutting out half of his neighbor’s view of the stage, appearing to disregard her, and even to be unaware that a pretty woman sat there just behind him.

Raphael's life depended on a promise he had made to himself, which he had always kept sacred. He wouldn’t pay any special attention to any woman at all; to protect himself from temptation, he used a cleverly designed opera-glass that made the most beautiful features look grotesque. He hadn’t shaken off the fear that had gripped him that morning when a simple act of politeness had made the Magic Skin shrink so suddenly. So, Raphael was resolved not to look in his neighbor's direction. He sat calmly like a duchess, with his back against the corner of the box, blocking half of his neighbor’s view of the stage, seeming to ignore her and even acting as if he didn’t realize a pretty woman was sitting right behind him.

His neighbor copied Valentin’s position exactly; she leaned her elbow on the edge of her box and turned her face in three-quarter profile upon the singers on the stage, as if she were sitting to a painter. These two people looked like two estranged lovers still sulking, still turning their backs upon each other, who will go into each other’s arms at the first tender word.

His neighbor mimicked Valentin's stance perfectly; she rested her elbow on the edge of her seat and angled her face slightly toward the singers on stage, as if posing for an artist. These two seemed like two distant lovers still pouting, still ignoring each other, who would rush into each other's arms at the first kind word.

Now and again his neighbor’s ostrich feathers or her hair came in contact with Raphael’s head, giving him a pleasurable thrill, against which he sternly fought. In a little while he felt the touch of the soft frill of lace that went round her dress; he could hear the gracious sounds of the folds of her dress itself, light rustling noises full of enchantment; he could even feel her movements as she breathed; with the gentle stir thus imparted to her form and to her draperies, it seemed to Raphael that all her being was suddenly communicated to him in an electric spark. The lace and tulle that caressed him imparted the delicious warmth of her bare, white shoulders. By a freak in the ordering of things, these two creatures, kept apart by social conventions, with the abysses of death between them, breathed together and perhaps thought of one another. Finally, the subtle perfume of aloes completed the work of Raphael’s intoxication. Opposition heated his imagination, and his fancy, become the wilder for the limits imposed upon it, sketched a woman for him in outlines of fire. He turned abruptly, the stranger made a similar movement, startled no doubt at being brought in contact with a stranger; and they remained face to face, each with the same thought.

Now and then, his neighbor's ostrich feathers or her hair brushed against Raphael's head, sending a pleasurable thrill through him that he tried to resist. Soon, he felt the touch of the soft lace trim on her dress; he could hear the gentle rustling of the fabric, enchanting sounds that captivated him. He could even sense her movements as she breathed; with the delicate shifts in her form and her clothing, it felt to Raphael like all of her essence was suddenly shared with him in a spark of connection. The lace and tulle that brushed against him brought the warm sensation of her bare, white shoulders. By some twist of fate, these two people, separated by social barriers and the distance of life and death, breathed together and might have even thought of one another. Finally, the subtle scent of aloes completed Raphael's intoxication. The tension fueled his imagination, and as his thoughts became more unrestrained due to the limitations placed on him, he envisioned a woman outlined in flames. He turned abruptly, and the stranger mirrored his movement, likely startled at the unexpected contact; they stood facing each other, both sharing the same thought.

“Pauline!”

"Pauline!"

“M. Raphael!”

“M. Raphael!”

Each surveyed the other, both of them petrified with astonishment. Raphael noticed Pauline’s daintily simple costume. A woman’s experienced eyes would have discerned and admired the outlines beneath the modest gauze folds of her bodice and the lily whiteness of her throat. And then her more than mortal clearness of soul, her maidenly modesty, her graceful bearing, all were unchanged. Her sleeve was quivering with agitation, for the beating of her heart was shaking her whole frame.

Each looked at the other, both frozen in shock. Raphael noticed Pauline’s elegantly simple dress. A woman's discerning eyes would have recognized and appreciated the shapes beneath the modest gauzy folds of her bodice and the pure whiteness of her throat. And then there was her extraordinary clarity of spirit, her innocent modesty, her graceful demeanor, all of it unchanged. Her sleeve trembled with anxiety, as the pounding of her heart shook her entire body.

“Come to the Hotel de Saint-Quentin to-morrow for your papers,” she said. “I will be there at noon. Be punctual.”

“Come to the Hotel de Saint-Quentin tomorrow for your papers,” she said. “I’ll be there at noon. Make sure to be on time.”

She rose hastily, and disappeared. Raphael thought of following Pauline, feared to compromise her, and stayed. He looked at Foedora; she seemed to him positively ugly. Unable to understand a single phrase of the music, and feeling stifled in the theatre, he went out, and returned home with a full heart.

She quickly got up and left. Raphael considered following Pauline, worried that he might put her in a tricky situation, so he stayed put. He glanced at Foedora; to him, she looked completely unattractive. Not able to grasp any of the music, and feeling suffocated in the theater, he stepped out and headed home with a heavy heart.

“Jonathan,” he said to the old servant, as soon as he lay in bed, “give me half a drop of laudanum on a piece of sugar, and don’t wake me to-morrow till twenty minutes to twelve.”

“Jonathan,” he said to the old servant, as soon as he lay in bed, “give me half a drop of laudanum on a piece of sugar, and don’t wake me tomorrow until twenty minutes to twelve.”

“I want Pauline to love me!” he cried next morning, looking at the talisman the while in unspeakable anguish.

“I want Pauline to love me!” he cried the next morning, looking at the talisman in unbearable anguish.

The skin did not move in the least; it seemed to have lost its power to shrink; doubtless it could not fulfil a wish fulfilled already.

The skin didn’t budge at all; it seemed to have lost its ability to tighten; it probably couldn't fulfill a wish that had already been granted.

“Ah!” exclaimed Raphael, feeling as if a mantle of lead had fallen away, which he had worn ever since the day when the talisman had been given to him; “so you are playing me false, you are not obeying me, the pact is broken! I am free; I shall live. Then was it all a wretched joke?” But he did not dare to believe in his own thought as he uttered it.

“Ah!” exclaimed Raphael, feeling as if a heavy weight had lifted from him, which he had carried ever since the day the talisman was given to him; “so you’re betraying me, you’re not following my orders, the pact is broken! I’m free; I will live. Was this all just a cruel joke?” But he didn’t dare to believe his own words as he said them.

He dressed himself as simply as had formerly been his wont, and set out on foot for his old lodging, trying to go back in fancy to the happy days when he abandoned himself without peril to vehement desires, the days when he had not yet condemned all human enjoyment. As he walked he beheld Pauline—not the Pauline of the Hotel Saint-Quentin, but the Pauline of last evening. Here was the accomplished mistress he had so often dreamed of, the intelligent young girl with the loving nature and artistic temperament, who understood poets, who understood poetry, and lived in luxurious surroundings. Here, in short, was Foedora, gifted with a great soul; or Pauline become a countess, and twice a millionaire, as Foedora had been. When he reached the worn threshold, and stood upon the broken step at the door, where in the old days he had had so many desperate thoughts, an old woman came out of the room within and spoke to him.

He dressed as simply as he used to and set out on foot for his old place, trying to mentally return to the happy days when he gave in to strong desires without fear, the days when he hadn't yet given up on all human enjoyment. As he walked, he saw Pauline—not the Pauline from the Hotel Saint-Quentin, but the Pauline from last night. Here was the sophisticated woman he had often dreamed of, the smart young woman with a loving nature and artistic temperament, who understood poets, who understood poetry, and lived in luxury. In short, here was Foedora, with a great soul; or Pauline turned countess, and twice a millionaire, just like Foedora had been. When he reached the worn threshold and stood on the broken step at the door, where he had had so many desperate thoughts in the past, an old woman came out of the room inside and spoke to him.

“You are M. Raphael de Valentin, are you not?”

“You're M. Raphael de Valentin, right?”

“Yes, good mother,” he replied.

“Yes, good mom,” he replied.

“You know your old room then,” she replied; “you are expected up there.”

“You know your old room, then,” she responded; “you’re expected up there.”

“Does Mme. Gaudin still own the house?” Raphael asked.

“Does Mrs. Gaudin still own the house?” Raphael asked.

“Oh no, sir. Mme. Gaudin is a baroness now. She lives in a fine house of her own on the other side of the river. Her husband has come back. My goodness, he brought back thousands and thousands. They say she could buy up all the Quartier Saint-Jacques if she liked. She gave me her basement room for nothing, and the remainder of her lease. Ah, she’s a kind woman all the same; she is no more proud to-day than she was yesterday.”

“Oh no, sir. Mme. Gaudin is a baroness now. She lives in a nice house of her own on the other side of the river. Her husband has returned. My goodness, he brought back thousands and thousands. They say she could buy up all of the Quartier Saint-Jacques if she wanted to. She gave me her basement room for free, along with the rest of her lease. Ah, she’s a kind woman all the same; she isn’t any prouder today than she was yesterday.”

Raphael hurried up the staircase to his garret; as he reached the last few steps he heard the sounds of a piano. Pauline was there, simply dressed in a cotton gown, but the way that it was made, like the gloves, hat, and shawl that she had thrown carelessly upon the bed, revealed a change of fortune.

Raphael rushed up the stairs to his attic; as he got to the top, he heard the sound of a piano. Pauline was there, dressed simply in a cotton gown, but the way it was made, along with the gloves, hat, and shawl she had tossed carelessly on the bed, indicated a shift in her circumstances.

“Ah, there you are!” cried Pauline, turning her head, and rising with unconcealed delight.

“Ah, there you are!” exclaimed Pauline, turning her head and getting up with obvious joy.

Raphael went to sit beside her, flushed, confused, and happy; he looked at her in silence.

Raphael sat down next to her, feeling shy, confused, and happy; he gazed at her silently.

“Why did you leave us then?” she asked, dropping her eyes as the flush deepened on his face. “What became of you?”

“Why did you leave us then?” she asked, looking down as his face turned even redder. “What happened to you?”

“Ah, I have been very miserable, Pauline; I am very miserable still.”

“Ah, I've been really unhappy, Pauline; I'm still really unhappy.”

“Alas!” she said, filled with pitying tenderness. “I guessed your fate yesterday when I saw you so well dressed, and apparently so wealthy; but in reality? Eh, M. Raphael, is it as it always used to be with you?”

“Alas!” she said, filled with pitying tenderness. “I guessed your fate yesterday when I saw you so well dressed and apparently so wealthy; but in reality? Eh, M. Raphael, is it the same as it always was for you?”

Valentin could not restrain the tears that sprang to his eyes.

Valentin couldn't hold back the tears that filled his eyes.

“Pauline,” he exclaimed, “I——”

“Pauline,” he exclaimed, “I—”

He went no further, love sparkled in his eyes, and his emotion overflowed his face.

He didn't go any further, love sparkled in his eyes, and his emotions showed on his face.

“Oh, he loves me! he loves me!” cried Pauline.

“Oh, he loves me! He loves me!” cried Pauline.

Raphael felt himself unable to say one word; he bent his head. The young girl took his hand at this; she pressed it as she said, half sobbing and half laughing:—

Raphael found himself at a loss for words; he lowered his head. The young girl took his hand then, squeezing it as she said, half crying and half laughing:—

“Rich, rich, happy and rich! Your Pauline is rich. But I? Oh, I ought to be very poor to-day. I have said, times without number, that I would give all the wealth upon this earth for those words, ‘He loves me!’ O my Raphael! I have millions. You like luxury, you will be glad; but you must love me and my heart besides, for there is so much love for you in my heart. You don’t know? My father has come back. I am a wealthy heiress. Both he and my mother leave me completely free to decide my own fate. I am free—do you understand?”

“Rich, rich, happy and rich! Your Pauline is rich. But me? Oh, I should be very poor today. I have said countless times that I would trade all the wealth in the world for those words, ‘He loves me!’ Oh my Raphael! I have millions. You like luxury, so you’ll be pleased; but you have to love me and my heart too, because I have so much love for you in my heart. You don’t know? My father has come back. I’m a wealthy heiress. Both he and my mother give me complete freedom to decide my own fate. I’m free—do you understand?”

Seized with a kind of frenzy, Raphael grasped Pauline’s hands and kissed them eagerly and vehemently, with an almost convulsive caress. Pauline drew her hands away, laid them on Raphael’s shoulders, and drew him towards her. They understood one another—in that close embrace, in the unalloyed and sacred fervor of that one kiss without an afterthought—the first kiss by which two souls take possession of each other.

Seized by a kind of frenzy, Raphael grabbed Pauline’s hands and kissed them eagerly and passionately, with an almost intense caress. Pauline pulled her hands away, placed them on Raphael’s shoulders, and drew him close to her. They understood each other—in that tight embrace, in the pure and sacred intensity of that one kiss without a second thought—the first kiss where two souls claim each other.

“Ah, I will not leave you any more,” said Pauline, falling back in her chair. “I do not know how I come to be so bold!” she added, blushing.

“Ah, I won’t leave you anymore,” said Pauline, leaning back in her chair. “I don’t know why I’m being so bold!” she added, blushing.

“Bold, my Pauline? Do not fear it. It is love, love true and deep and everlasting like my own, is it not?”

“Don’t be afraid, my Pauline. It’s love, real and deep and everlasting, just like mine, right?”

“Speak!” she cried. “Go on speaking, so long your lips have been dumb for me.”

“Speak!” she yelled. “Keep talking, since your lips have been silent for me for so long.”

“Then you have loved me all along?”

“Then you have loved me this whole time?”

“Loved you? Mon Dieu! How often I have wept here, setting your room straight, and grieving for your poverty and my own. I would have sold myself to the evil one to spare you one vexation! You are MY Raphael to-day, really my own Raphael, with that handsome head of yours, and your heart is mine too; yes, that above all, your heart—O wealth inexhaustible! Well, where was I?” she went on after a pause. “Oh yes! We have three, four, or five millions, I believe. If I were poor, I should perhaps desire to bear your name, to be acknowledged as your wife; but as it is, I would give up the whole world for you, I would be your servant still, now and always. Why, Raphael, if I give you my fortune, my heart, myself to-day, I do no more than I did that day when I put a certain five-franc piece in the drawer there,” and she pointed to the table. “Oh, how your exultation hurt me then!”

“Loved you? Oh my God! How often I have cried here, tidying up your room and lamenting your struggles and my own. I would have sold my soul to the devil to spare you even one annoyance! You are MY Raphael today, truly my own Raphael, with that handsome face of yours, and your heart is mine too; yes, above all, your heart—oh, endless treasure! Well, where was I?” she continued after a pause. “Oh yes! We have three, four, or five million, I believe. If I were poor, I might want to take your name and be recognized as your wife; but as it is, I would give up the whole world for you, I would still be your servant, now and always. Why, Raphael, if I give you my fortune, my heart, myself today, I am doing no more than I did that day when I put a certain five-franc coin in that drawer there,” and she pointed to the table. “Oh, how your joy hurt me back then!”

“Oh, why are you rich?” Raphael cried; “why is there no vanity in you? I can do nothing for you.”

“Oh, why are you rich?” Raphael exclaimed; “why do you have no vanity? I can’t do anything for you.”

He wrung his hands in despair and happiness and love.

He twisted his hands in a mix of despair, happiness, and love.

“When you are the Marquise de Valentin, I know that the title and the fortune for thee, heavenly soul, will not be worth——”

“When you are the Marquise de Valentin, I know that the title and the fortune for you, heavenly soul, won’t be worth——”

“One hair of your head,” she cried.

“One hair from your head,” she cried.

“I have millions too. But what is wealth to either of us now? There is my life—ah, that I can offer, take it.”

“I have millions too. But what does wealth mean to either of us now? There’s my life—ah, I can offer that, take it.”

“Your love, Raphael, your love is all the world to me. Are your thoughts of me? I am the happiest of the happy!”

“Your love, Raphael, means everything to me. Do you think about me? I’m the happiest person alive!”

“Can any one overhear us?” asked Raphael.

“Can anyone overhear us?” asked Raphael.

“Nobody,” she replied, and a mischievous gesture escaped her.

“Nobody,” she said, and a playful gesture slipped out.

“Come, then!” cried Valentin, holding out his arms.

“Come here!” yelled Valentin, opening his arms wide.

She sprang upon his knees and clasped her arms about his neck.

She jumped onto his knees and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Kiss me!” she cried, “after all the pain you have given me; to blot out the memory of the grief that your joys have caused me; and for the sake of the nights that I spent in painting hand-screens——”

“Kiss me!” she exclaimed, “after all the pain you’ve caused me; to erase the memory of the sorrow that your happiness has brought me; and for the nights I spent making hand-screens——”

“Those hand-screens of yours?”

"Those handheld devices of yours?"

“Now that we are rich, my darling, I can tell you all about it. Poor boy! how easy it is to delude a clever man! Could you have had white waistcoats and clean shirts twice a week for three francs every month to the laundress? Why, you used to drink twice as much milk as your money would have paid for. I deceived you all round—over firing, oil, and even money. O Raphael mine, don’t have me for your wife, I am far too cunning!” she said laughing.

“Now that we’re rich, my love, I can finally tell you everything. Poor guy! how easy it is to fool a smart man! Did you really think you could have white vests and clean shirts twice a week for just three francs a month for the laundry? You drank twice as much milk as your money could actually cover. I tricked you in every way— from heating to oil, and even with money. Oh, my Raphael, don’t marry me, I’m way too sly!” she said, laughing.

“But how did you manage?”

"But how did you do it?"

“I used to work till two o’clock in the morning; I gave my mother half the money made by my screens, and the other half went to you.”

“I used to work until two in the morning; I gave my mom half the money I made from my screens, and the other half went to you.”

They looked at one another for a moment, both bewildered by love and gladness.

They looked at each other for a moment, both confused by love and happiness.

“Some day we shall have to pay for this happiness by some terrible sorrow,” cried Raphael.

“Someday we’ll have to pay for this happiness with some terrible sorrow,” exclaimed Raphael.

“Perhaps you are married?” said Pauline. “Oh, I will not give you up to any other woman.”

“Maybe you’re married?” said Pauline. “Oh, I won’t let you go to any other woman.”

“I am free, my beloved.”

"I'm free, my love."

“Free!” she repeated. “Free, and mine!”

“Free!” she said again. “Free, and mine!”

She slipped down upon her knees, clasped her hands, and looked at Raphael in an enthusiasm of devotion.

She dropped to her knees, clasped her hands together, and looked at Raphael with intense devotion.

“I am afraid I shall go mad. How handsome you are!” she went on, passing her fingers through her lover’s fair hair. “How stupid your Countess Foedora is! How pleased I was yesterday with the homage they all paid to me! SHE has never been applauded. Dear, when I felt your arm against my back, I heard a vague voice within me that cried, ‘He is there!’ and I turned round and saw you. I fled, for I longed so to throw my arms about you before them all.”

“I’m afraid I’m going to lose my mind. You’re so handsome!” she continued, running her fingers through her lover’s light hair. “What a fool your Countess Foedora is! I was so pleased yesterday with all the compliments they gave me! SHE has never received that kind of applause. Sweetheart, when I felt your arm against my back, I heard a faint voice inside me shout, ‘He’s here!’ and I turned around and saw you. I ran away because I desperately wanted to throw my arms around you in front of everyone.”

“How happy you are—you can speak!” Raphael exclaimed. “My heart is overwhelmed; I would weep, but I cannot. Do not draw your hand away. I could stay here looking at you like this for the rest of my life, I think; happy and content.”

“How happy you are—you can talk!” Raphael exclaimed. “My heart is overflowing; I would cry, but I can't. Please don't pull your hand away. I could stay here looking at you like this for the rest of my life, I think; happy and content.”

“O my love, say that once more!”

“O my love, say that again!”

“Ah, what are words?” answered Valentin, letting a hot tear fall on Pauline’s hands. “Some time I will try to tell you of my love; just now I can only feel it.”

“Ah, what are words?” Valentin replied, letting a hot tear fall on Pauline’s hands. “Someday I’ll try to express my love for you; right now, I can only feel it.”

“You,” she said, “with your lofty soul and your great genius, with that heart of yours that I know so well; are you really mine, as I am yours?”

“You,” she said, “with your noble spirit and your incredible talent, with that heart of yours that I know so well; are you really mine, as I am yours?”

“For ever and ever, my sweet creature,” said Raphael in an uncertain voice. “You shall be my wife, my protecting angel. My griefs have always been dispelled by your presence, and my courage revived; that angelic smile now on your lips has purified me, so to speak. A new life seems about to begin for me. The cruel past and my wretched follies are hardly more to me than evil dreams. At your side I breathe an atmosphere of happiness, and I am pure. Be with me always,” he added, pressing her solemnly to his beating heart.

“Forever and ever, my sweet love,” Raphael said in a shaky voice. “You will be my wife, my guardian angel. Your presence has always chased away my sorrows and given me strength; that angelic smile on your lips has cleansed me, so to speak. It feels like a new life is about to start for me. The painful past and my foolish mistakes feel like nothing more than bad dreams. Next to you, I feel surrounded by happiness, and I am free of impurities. Stay with me always,” he added, holding her tightly against his heart.

“Death may come when it will,” said Pauline in ecstasy; “I have lived!”

“Death can come whenever it wants,” said Pauline in ecstasy; “I have lived!”

Happy he who shall divine their joy, for he must have experienced it.

Happy is the one who can understand their joy, for they must have felt it themselves.

“I wish that no one might enter this dear garret again, my Raphael,” said Pauline, after two hours of silence.

“I wish no one would ever enter this beloved attic again, my Raphael,” said Pauline, after two hours of silence.

“We must have the door walled up, put bars across the window, and buy the house,” the Marquis answered.

“We need to seal up the door, put bars on the window, and buy the house,” the Marquis replied.

“Yes, we will,” she said. Then a moment later she added: “Our search for your manuscripts has been a little lost sight of,” and they both laughed like children.

“Yes, we will,” she said. Then a moment later she added, “We’ve kind of lost track of searching for your manuscripts,” and they both laughed like kids.

“Pshaw! I don’t care a jot for the whole circle of the sciences,” Raphael answered.

“Pshaw! I don’t care at all about the entire field of sciences,” Raphael answered.

“Ah, sir, and how about glory?”

“Hey, sir, what about fame?”

“I glory in you alone.”

“I take pride in you alone.”

“You used to be very miserable as you made these little scratches and scrawls,” she said, turning the papers over.

“You used to be really unhappy when you made these little scratches and doodles,” she said, flipping the papers over.

“My Pauline——”

“My Paulina——”

“Oh yes, I am your Pauline—and what then?”

“Oh yes, I’m your Pauline—and what about it?”

“Where are you living now?”

“Where are you living these days?”

“In the Rue Saint Lazare. And you?”

“In the Rue Saint Lazare. How about you?”

“In the Rue de Varenne.”

"In Rue de Varenne."

“What a long way apart we shall be until——” She stopped, and looked at her lover with a mischievous and coquettish expression.

“What a long way apart we’ll be until——” She stopped and looked at her lover with a playful and flirtatious expression.

“But at the most we need only be separated for a fortnight,” Raphael answered.

“But at most we only need to be apart for two weeks,” Raphael answered.

“Really! we are to be married in a fortnight?” and she jumped for joy like a child.

“Really! We're getting married in two weeks?” she exclaimed, jumping for joy like a child.

“I am an unnatural daughter!” she went on. “I give no more thought to my father or my mother, or to anything in the world. Poor love, you don’t know that my father is very ill? He returned from the Indies in very bad health. He nearly died at Havre, where we went to find him. Good heavens!” she cried, looking at her watch; “it is three o’clock already! I ought to be back again when he wakes at four. I am mistress of the house at home; my mother does everything that I wish, and my father worships me; but I will not abuse their kindness, that would be wrong. My poor father! He would have me go to the Italiens yesterday. You will come to see him to-morrow, will you not?”

“I’m such a terrible daughter!” she continued. “I don’t think about my dad or my mom, or anything else in the world. Poor thing, don’t you know my dad is really sick? He came back from the Indies in very poor health. He almost died at Havre, where we went to find him. Goodness!” she exclaimed, checking her watch, “it’s already three o’clock! I need to be back by four when he wakes up. I’m in charge of the house; my mom does everything I want, and my dad adores me, but I don’t want to take advantage of their kindness—that wouldn’t be right. My poor dad! He wanted me to go to the Italiens yesterday. You’ll come to visit him tomorrow, won’t you?”

“Will Madame la Marquise de Valentin honor me by taking my arm?”

“Will Madame la Marquise de Valentin do me the honor of taking my arm?”

“I am going to take the key of this room away with me,” she said. “Isn’t our treasure-house a palace?”

“I’m going to take the key to this room with me,” she said. “Isn’t our treasure house a palace?”

“One more kiss, Pauline.”

"One more kiss, Pauline."

“A thousand, mon Dieu!” she said, looking at Raphael. “Will it always be like this? I feel as if I were dreaming.”

“A thousand, oh my God!” she said, looking at Raphael. “Will it always be like this? I feel like I’m dreaming.”

They went slowly down the stairs together, step for step, with arms closely linked, trembling both of them beneath their load of joy. Each pressing close to the other’s side, like a pair of doves, they reached the Place de la Sorbonne, where Pauline’s carriage was waiting.

They went slowly down the stairs together, step for step, with their arms linked tightly, both trembling with joy. Pressing closely against each other like a pair of doves, they reached the Place de la Sorbonne, where Pauline's carriage was waiting.

“I want to go home with you,” she said. “I want to see your own room and your study, and to sit at the table where you work. It will be like old times,” she said, blushing.

“I want to go home with you,” she said. “I want to see your room and your study, and sit at the table where you work. It will be just like old times,” she said, blushing.

She spoke to the servant. “Joseph, before returning home I am going to the Rue de Varenne. It is a quarter-past three now, and I must be back by four o’clock. George must hurry the horses.” And so in a few moments the lovers came to Valentin’s abode.

She spoke to the servant. “Joseph, before going home I’m heading to the Rue de Varenne. It’s three fifteen now, and I need to be back by four. George needs to rush the horses.” And so, a few moments later, the lovers arrived at Valentin’s place.

“How glad I am to have seen all this for myself!” Pauline cried, creasing the silken bed-curtains in Raphael’s room between her fingers. “As I go to sleep, I shall be here in thought. I shall imagine your dear head on the pillow there. Raphael, tell me, did no one advise you about the furniture of your hotel?”

“How glad I am to have seen all this for myself!” Pauline exclaimed, running her fingers along the silky bed curtains in Raphael’s room. “As I go to sleep, I’ll be thinking of this place. I’ll picture your dear head on the pillow there. Raphael, tell me, didn’t anyone give you tips about your hotel’s furniture?”

“No one whatever.”

"No one at all."

“Really? It was not a woman who——”

“Really? It wasn't a woman who——”

“Pauline!”

“Pauline!”

“Oh, I know I am fearfully jealous. You have good taste. I will have a bed like yours to-morrow.”

“Oh, I know I’m really jealous. You have great taste. I’ll get a bed like yours tomorrow.”

Quite beside himself with happiness, Raphael caught Pauline in his arms.

Beside himself with joy, Raphael scooped Pauline up in his arms.

“Oh, my father!” she said; “my father——”

“Oh, my dad!” she said; “my dad——”

“I will take you back to him,” cried Valentin, “for I want to be away from you as little as possible.”

"I'll take you back to him," shouted Valentin, "because I want to be away from you as little as I can."

“How loving you are! I did not venture to suggest it——”

“How loving you are! I didn’t dare to suggest it——”

“Are you not my life?”

“Are you not my whole life?”

It would be tedious to set down accurately the charming prattle of the lovers, for tones and looks and gestures that cannot be rendered alone gave it significance. Valentin went back with Pauline to her own door, and returned with as much happiness in his heart as mortal man can know.

It would be boring to capture exactly the sweet talk of the lovers, since their tones, looks, and gestures, which can't be expressed in words alone, made it meaningful. Valentin walked back with Pauline to her door and returned with as much happiness in his heart as any human can feel.

When he was seated in his armchair beside the fire, thinking over the sudden and complete way in which his wishes had been fulfilled, a cold shiver went through him, as if the blade of a dagger had been plunged into his breast—he thought of the Magic Skin, and saw that it had shrunk a little. He uttered the most tremendous of French oaths, without any of the Jesuitical reservations made by the Abbess of Andouillettes, leant his head against the back of the chair, and sat motionless, fixing his unseeing eyes upon the bracket of the curtain pole.

When he settled into his armchair by the fire, reflecting on how suddenly and completely his wishes had come true, a cold shiver ran through him, as if a dagger had been plunged into his chest—he thought about the Magic Skin and noticed it had shrunk a bit. He let out the strongest French curse, without any of the careful hesitations taught by the Abbess of Andouillettes, leaned his head back against the chair, and sat still, staring blankly at the curtain rod.

“Good God!” he cried; “every wish! Every desire of mine! Poor Pauline!——”

“Good God!” he exclaimed; “every wish! Every desire of mine! Poor Pauline!——”

He took a pair of compasses and measured the extent of existence that the morning had cost him.

He took a pair of compasses and measured how much the morning had cost him in terms of existence.

“I have scarcely enough for two months!” he said.

“I barely have enough for two months!” he said.

A cold sweat broke out over him; moved by an ungovernable spasm of rage, he seized the Magic Skin, exclaiming:

A cold sweat covered him; overcome by an uncontrollable surge of anger, he grabbed the Magic Skin, shouting:

“I am a perfect fool!”

"I'm a total fool!"

He rushed out of the house and across the garden, and flung the talisman down a well.

He ran out of the house and across the garden, and threw the talisman down a well.

Vogue la galere,” cried he. “The devil take all this nonsense.”

Vogue la galere,” he shouted. “To hell with all this nonsense.”

So Raphael gave himself up to the happiness of being beloved, and led with Pauline the life of heart and heart. Difficulties which it would be somewhat tedious to describe had delayed their marriage, which was to take place early in March. Each was sure of the other; their affection had been tried, and happiness had taught them how strong it was. Never has love made two souls, two natures, so absolutely one. The more they came to know of each other, the more they loved. On either side there was the same hesitating delicacy, the same transports of joy such as angels know; there were no clouds in their heaven; the will of either was the other’s law.

So Raphael surrendered to the joy of being loved and shared a life full of deep connection with Pauline. Challenges that would take too long to explain had postponed their wedding, which was set for early March. They were certain of each other; their bond had been tested, and happiness had shown them just how strong it was. Never had love united two souls and two natures so completely. The more they learned about each other, the deeper their love grew. On both sides was the same careful sensitivity, the same bursts of joy that angels experience; there were no clouds in their paradise; each one’s desire was the other’s guiding principle.

Wealthy as they both were, they had not a caprice which they could not gratify, and for that reason had no caprices. A refined taste, a feeling for beauty and poetry, was instinct in the soul of the bride; her lover’s smile was more to her than all the pearls of Ormuz. She disdained feminine finery; a muslin dress and flowers formed her most elaborate toilette.

As wealthy as they both were, they had no whims they couldn't satisfy, and because of that, they had no whims. The bride had an innate appreciation for beauty and poetry; her lover’s smile meant more to her than all the pearls in the world. She looked down on extravagant feminine fashions; a muslin dress and some flowers were her idea of a fancy outfit.

Pauline and Raphael shunned every one else, for solitude was abundantly beautiful to them. The idlers at the Opera, or at the Italiens, saw this charming and unconventional pair evening after evening. Some gossip went the round of the salons at first, but the harmless lovers were soon forgotten in the course of events which took place in Paris; their marriage was announced at length to excuse them in the eyes of the prudish; and as it happened, their servants did not babble; so their bliss did not draw down upon them any very severe punishment.

Pauline and Raphael avoided everyone else, as they found great beauty in their solitude. The onlookers at the Opera and the Italiens saw this charming and unconventional couple night after night. Initially, some gossip spread through the salons, but the innocent lovers were quickly forgotten amid the happenings in Paris; eventually, their marriage was announced to appease the prudes. Fortunately, their servants kept quiet, so their happiness didn’t result in any serious consequences.

One morning towards the end of February, at the time when the brightening days bring a belief in the nearness of the joys of spring, Pauline and Raphael were breakfasting together in a small conservatory, a kind of drawing-room filled with flowers, on a level with the garden. The mild rays of the pale winter sunlight, breaking through the thicket of exotic plants, warmed the air somewhat. The vivid contrast made by the varieties of foliage, the colors of the masses of flowering shrubs, the freaks of light and shadow, gladdened the eyes. While all the rest of Paris still sought warmth from its melancholy hearth, these two were laughing in a bower of camellias, lilacs, and blossoming heath. Their happy faces rose above lilies of the valley, narcissus blooms, and Bengal roses. A mat of plaited African grass, variegated like a carpet, lay beneath their feet in this luxurious conservatory. The walls, covered with a green linen material, bore no traces of damp. The surfaces of the rustic wooden furniture shone with cleanliness. A kitten, attracted by the odor of milk, had established itself upon the table; it allowed Pauline to bedabble it in coffee; she was playing merrily with it, taking away the cream that she had just allowed the kitten to sniff at, so as to exercise its patience, and keep up the contest. She burst out laughing at every antic, and by the comical remarks she constantly made, she hindered Raphael from perusing the paper; he had dropped it a dozen times already. This morning picture seemed to overflow with inexpressible gladness, like everything that is natural and genuine.

One morning toward the end of February, when the days were getting brighter and everyone was starting to feel the excitement of spring, Pauline and Raphael were having breakfast together in a small conservatory, a sort of drawing room filled with flowers, right next to the garden. The gentle rays of the pale winter sun, streaming through the thick greenery of exotic plants, warmed the air a bit. The vibrant mix of different leaves, the bright colors of blooming shrubs, and the playful light and shadow delighted the eyes. While the rest of Paris was still trying to find warmth by their gloomy fireplaces, these two were laughing in a cozy spot surrounded by camellias, lilacs, and flowering heather. Their cheerful faces peeked out from behind lilies of the valley, daffodils, and Bengal roses. Beneath their feet was a mat of braided African grass, colorful like a carpet, in this luxurious conservatory. The walls, covered in green fabric, showed no signs of dampness. The rustic wooden furniture gleamed with cleanliness. A kitten, drawn in by the smell of milk, had made itself comfortable on the table; it let Pauline dabble it in coffee as she played joyfully with it, pulling the cream away that she had just let the kitten sniff, testing its patience and keeping the game going. She burst out laughing at every little stunt, and with her funny comments, she kept Raphael from reading the paper; he had already dropped it a dozen times. This morning scene overflowed with an indescribable happiness, just like everything that is natural and genuine.

Raphael, still pretending to read his paper, furtively watched Pauline with the cat—his Pauline, in the dressing-gown that hung carelessly about her; his Pauline, with her hair loose on her shoulders, with a tiny, white, blue-veined foot peeping out of a velvet slipper. It was pleasant to see her in this negligent dress; she was delightful as some fanciful picture by Westall; half-girl, half-woman, as she seemed to be, or perhaps more of a girl than a woman, there was no alloy in the happiness she enjoyed, and of love she knew as yet only its first ecstasy. When Raphael, absorbed in happy musing, had forgotten the existence of the newspaper, Pauline flew upon it, crumpled it up into a ball, and threw it out into the garden; the kitten sprang after the rotating object, which spun round and round, as politics are wont to do. This childish scene recalled Raphael to himself. He would have gone on reading, and felt for the sheet he no longer possessed. Joyous laughter rang out like the song of a bird, one peal leading to another.

Raphael, still pretending to read his paper, secretly watched Pauline with the cat—his Pauline, in the loosely hanging dressing gown; his Pauline, with her hair cascading down her shoulders, and a tiny, delicate, blue-veined foot peeking out from a velvet slipper. It was nice to see her in this casual attire; she was as charming as some whimsical painting by Westall; half-girl, half-woman, or maybe more girl than woman, there was no mix in the happiness she felt, and she only knew the first thrill of love. When Raphael, lost in happy thoughts, forgot about the newspaper, Pauline pounced on it, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it out into the garden; the kitten chased after the spinning object, which revolved like political issues often do. This playful moment brought Raphael back to reality. He would have continued reading but realized he no longer had the sheet. Joyful laughter rang out like a bird's song, each burst leading to another.

“I am quite jealous of the paper,” she said, as she wiped away the tears that her childlike merriment had brought into her eyes. “Now, is it not a heinous offence,” she went on, as she became a woman all at once, “to read Russian proclamations in my presence, and to attend to the prosings of the Emperor Nicholas rather than to looks and words of love!”

“I’m really jealous of the paper,” she said, wiping away the tears that her childlike happiness had brought to her eyes. “Isn’t it just a terrible offense,” she continued, suddenly becoming very serious, “to read Russian proclamations in front of me and pay more attention to the ramblings of Emperor Nicholas than to looks and words of love!”

“I was not reading, my dear angel; I was looking at you.”

“I wasn’t reading, my dear angel; I was looking at you.”

Just then the gravel walk outside the conservatory rang with the sound of the gardener’s heavily nailed boots.

Just then, the gravel path outside the conservatory echoed with the sound of the gardener's heavily nailed boots.

“I beg your pardon, my Lord Marquis—and yours, too, madame—if I am intruding, but I have brought you a curiosity the like of which I never set eyes on. Drawing a bucket of water just now, with due respect, I got out this strange salt-water plant. Here it is. It must be thoroughly used to water, anyhow, for it isn’t saturated or even damp at all. It is as dry as a piece of wood, and has not swelled a bit. As my Lord Marquis certainly knows a great deal more about things than I do, I thought I ought to bring it, and that it would interest him.”

“I apologize for interrupting, my Lord Marquis—and you too, madame—but I have brought you a fascinating find that I've never seen before. While drawing a bucket of water just now, I came across this unusual salt-water plant. Here it is. It must be very accustomed to being underwater, because it's not soaked or even damp at all. It's as dry as a piece of wood and hasn't expanded at all. Since my Lord Marquis clearly knows much more about these things than I do, I thought I should bring it to you and that it would pique your interest.”

Therewith the gardener showed Raphael the inexorable piece of skin; there were barely six square inches of it left.

There the gardener showed Raphael the unyielding piece of skin; there were hardly six square inches of it left.

“Thanks, Vaniere,” Raphael said. “The thing is very curious.”

“Thanks, Vaniere,” Raphael said. “This thing is really interesting.”

“What is the matter with you, my angel; you are growing quite white!” Pauline cried.

“What’s wrong with you, my angel? You’re looking really pale!” Pauline exclaimed.

“You can go, Vaniere.”

"You're free to go, Vaniere."

“Your voice frightens me,” the girl went on; “it is so strangely altered. What is it? How are you feeling? Where is the pain? You are in pain!—Jonathan! here! call a doctor!” she cried.

“Your voice scares me,” the girl continued; “it sounds so different. What’s wrong? How are you feeling? Where does it hurt? You’re in pain!—Jonathan! Come here! Call a doctor!” she shouted.

“Hush, my Pauline,” Raphael answered, as he regained composure. “Let us get up and go. Some flower here has a scent that is too much for me. It is that verbena, perhaps.”

“Hush, my Pauline,” Raphael replied as he collected himself. “Let’s get up and go. There’s a flower here with a scent that’s overwhelming for me. Maybe it’s that verbena.”

Pauline flew upon the innocent plant, seized it by the stalk, and flung it out into the garden; then, with all the might of the love between them, she clasped Raphael in a close embrace, and with languishing coquetry raised her red lips to his for a kiss.

Pauline swooped down on the unsuspecting plant, grabbed it by the stem, and tossed it out into the garden; then, with all the strength of their love, she pulled Raphael into a tight embrace and, with playful flirtation, brought her red lips to his for a kiss.

“Dear angel,” she cried, “when I saw you turn so white, I understood that I could not live on without you; your life is my life too. Lay your hand on my back, Raphael mine; I feel a chill like death. The feeling of cold is there yet. Your lips are burning. How is your hand?—Cold as ice,” she added.

“Dear angel,” she cried, “when I saw you turn so pale, I realized that I couldn’t live without you; your life is my life too. Place your hand on my back, my Raphael; I feel a chill like death. The coldness is still here. Your lips are on fire. How is your hand?—Cold as ice,” she added.

“Mad girl!” exclaimed Raphael.

"Crazy girl!" exclaimed Raphael.

“Why that tear? Let me drink it.”

“Why are you crying? Let me taste your tear.”

“O Pauline, Pauline, you love me far too much!”

“O Pauline, Pauline, you love me way too much!”

“There is something very extraordinary going on in your mind, Raphael! Do not dissimulate. I shall very soon find out your secret. Give that to me,” she went on, taking the Magic Skin.

“There’s something really amazing happening in your mind, Raphael! Don’t pretend. I’ll figure out your secret soon enough. Hand that over to me,” she continued, taking the Magic Skin.

“You are my executioner!” the young man exclaimed, glancing in horror at the talisman.

“You’re my executioner!” the young man shouted, looking in terror at the talisman.

“How changed your voice is!” cried Pauline, as she dropped the fatal symbol of destiny.

“How different your voice sounds!” exclaimed Pauline, as she let go of the fateful symbol of destiny.

“Do you love me?” he asked.

“Do you love me?” he asked.

“Do I love you? Is there any doubt?”

“Do I love you? Is there any question?”

“Then, leave me, go away!”

“Then, just leave me alone!”

The poor child went.

The poor kid left.

“So!” cried Raphael, when he was alone. “In an enlightened age, when we have found out that diamonds are a crystallized form of charcoal, at a time when everything is made clear, when the police would hale a new Messiah before the magistrates, and submit his miracles to the Academie des Sciences—in an epoch when we no longer believe in anything but a notary’s signature—that I, forsooth, should believe in a sort of Mene, Tekel, Upharsin! No, by Heaven, I will not believe that the Supreme Being would take pleasure in torturing a harmless creature.—Let us see the learned about it.”

“So!” exclaimed Raphael when he was alone. “In an enlightened age, when we've discovered that diamonds are just crystallized charcoal, at a time when everything is laid bare, when the police would drag a new Messiah before the magistrates and put his miracles to the test with the Academie des Sciences—in an era when we only trust a notary's signature—that I, indeed, should believe in a kind of Mene, Tekel, Upharsin! No, by Heaven, I refuse to believe that the Supreme Being would take pleasure in torturing an innocent creature.—Let’s get the scholars involved.”

Between the Halle des Vins, with its extensive assembly of barrels, and the Salpetriere, that extensive seminary of drunkenness, lies a small pond, which Raphael soon reached. All sorts of ducks of rare varieties were there disporting themselves; their colored markings shone in the sun like the glass in cathedral windows. Every kind of duck in the world was represented, quacking, dabbling, and moving about—a kind of parliament of ducks assembled against its will, but luckily without either charter or political principles, living in complete immunity from sportsmen, under the eyes of any naturalist that chanced to see them.

Between the Halle des Vins, with its large collection of barrels, and the Salpetriere, that vast breeding ground of drunkenness, there’s a small pond that Raphael quickly reached. Various rare breeds of ducks were there enjoying themselves; their colorful feathers gleamed in the sunlight like stained glass in cathedral windows. Every type of duck in the world was present, quacking, dabbling, and moving around—a sort of parliament of ducks gathered without a choice, but luckily without any rules or political views, living entirely free from hunters, under the watch of any naturalist who happened to be nearby.

“That is M. Lavrille,” said one of the keepers to Raphael, who had asked for that high priest of zoology.

“That is M. Lavrille,” one of the keepers said to Raphael, who had asked for that esteemed expert in zoology.

The Marquis saw a short man buried in profound reflections, caused by the appearance of a pair of ducks. The man of science was middle-aged; he had a pleasant face, made pleasanter still by a kindly expression, but an absorption in scientific ideas engrossed his whole person. His peruke was strangely turned up, by being constantly raised to scratch his head; so that a line of white hair was left plainly visible, a witness to an enthusiasm for investigation, which, like every other strong passion, so withdraws us from mundane considerations, that we lose all consciousness of the “I” within us. Raphael, the student and man of science, looked respectfully at the naturalist, who devoted his nights to enlarging the limits of human knowledge, and whose very errors reflected glory upon France; but a she-coxcomb would have laughed, no doubt, at the break of continuity between the breeches and striped waistcoat worn by the man of learning; the interval, moreover, was modestly filled by a shirt which had been considerably creased, for he stooped and raised himself by turns, as his zoological observations required.

The Marquis saw a short man lost in deep thought, inspired by the sight of a pair of ducks. The middle-aged scientist had a pleasant face, made even more appealing by a kind expression, but he was completely absorbed in scientific ideas. His wig was oddly turned up from constantly scratching his head, leaving a line of white hair clearly visible, a testament to his enthusiasm for research, which, like any strong passion, pulls us away from everyday concerns and makes us forget about the "I" inside us. Raphael, the student and scientist, looked at the naturalist with respect, knowing he dedicated his nights to expanding the boundaries of human knowledge and whose mistakes still brought honor to France; however, a superficial person might have laughed at the awkward gap between the trousers and the striped waistcoat of the scholar. This gap was modestly filled by a shirt that had become quite wrinkled, as he bent down and stood up alternately while conducting his zoological observations.

After the first interchange of civilities, Raphael thought it necessary to pay M. Lavrille a banal compliment upon his ducks.

After the initial exchange of pleasantries, Raphael felt it was necessary to give M. Lavrille a generic compliment about his ducks.

“Oh, we are well off for ducks,” the naturalist replied. “The genus, moreover, as you doubtless know, is the most prolific in the order of palmipeds. It begins with the swan and ends with the zin-zin duck, comprising in all one hundred and thirty-seven very distinct varieties, each having its own name, habits, country, and character, and every one no more like another than a white man is like a negro. Really, sir, when we dine off a duck, we have no notion for the most part of the vast extent——”

“Oh, we have plenty of ducks,” the naturalist replied. “The genus, as you probably know, is the most abundant in the group of waterfowl. It starts with the swan and ends with the zin-zin duck, totaling one hundred thirty-seven unique varieties, each with its own name, habits, country, and personality, and each one is as different from the others as a white person is from a Black person. Honestly, sir, when we eat duck, we usually have no idea of the vast range—”

He interrupted himself as he saw a small pretty duck come up to the surface of the pond.

He paused when he saw a small, cute duck come up to the surface of the pond.

“There you see the cravatted swan, a poor native of Canada; he has come a very long way to show us his brown and gray plumage and his little black cravat! Look, he is preening himself. That one is the famous eider duck that provides the down, the eider-down under which our fine ladies sleep; isn’t it pretty? Who would not admire the little pinkish white breast and the green beak? I have just been a witness, sir,” he went on, “to a marriage that I had long despaired of bringing about; they have paired rather auspiciously, and I shall await the results very eagerly. This will be a hundred and thirty-eighth species, I flatter myself, to which, perhaps, my name will be given. That is the newly matched pair,” he said, pointing out two of the ducks; “one of them is a laughing goose (anas albifrons), and the other the great whistling duck, Buffon’s anas ruffina. I have hesitated a long while between the whistling duck, the duck with white eyebrows, and the shoveler duck (anas clypeata). Stay, that is the shoveler—that fat, brownish black rascal, with the greenish neck and that coquettish iridescence on it. But the whistling duck was a crested one, sir, and you will understand that I deliberated no longer. We only lack the variegated black-capped duck now. These gentlemen here, unanimously claim that that variety of duck is only a repetition of the curve-beaked teal, but for my own part,”—and the gesture he made was worth seeing. It expressed at once the modesty and pride of a man of science; the pride full of obstinacy, and the modesty well tempered with assurance.

“There you see the cravatted swan, a poor creature from Canada; he’s come a long way to show off his brown and gray feathers and his little black necktie! Look, he’s preening himself. That one is the famous eider duck that provides the down, the eider-down that our lovely ladies sleep on; isn’t it pretty? Who wouldn’t admire that little pinkish-white breast and the green beak? I’ve just witnessed, sir,” he continued, “a marriage I had long given up hope of arranging; they’ve paired quite nicely, and I’m looking forward to the results eagerly. This will be the one hundred thirty-eighth species, I can proudly say, to which maybe my name will be given. That’s the newly matched pair,” he said, pointing out two of the ducks; “one of them is a laughing goose (anas albifrons), and the other is the great whistling duck, Buffon’s anas ruffina. I’ve hesitated for a long time between the whistling duck, the duck with white eyebrows, and the shoveler duck (anas clypeata). Wait, that’s the shoveler—that fat, brownish-black rascal, with the greenish neck and that flashy iridescence on it. But the whistling duck was a crested one, sir, and you’ll understand that I didn’t think twice. We only need the variegated black-capped duck now. These gentlemen here all insist that that variety of duck is just a repetition of the curve-beaked teal, but for my part,”—and the gesture he made was something to see. It expressed both the modesty and pride of a scientist; a pride filled with determination and a modesty balanced with confidence.

“I don’t think it is,” he added. “You see, my dear sir, that we are not amusing ourselves here. I am engaged at this moment upon a monograph on the genus duck. But I am at your disposal.”

“I don’t think so,” he added. “You see, my dear sir, we aren’t just having fun here. I’m currently working on a study about the duck genus. But I’m here for you.”

While they went towards a rather pleasant house in the Rue du Buffon, Raphael submitted the skin to M. Lavrille’s inspection.

While they walked toward a rather nice house on Rue du Buffon, Raphael showed the skin to M. Lavrille for inspection.

“I know the product,” said the man of science, when he had turned his magnifying glass upon the talisman. “It used to be used for covering boxes. The shagreen is very old. They prefer to use skate’s skin nowadays for making sheaths. This, as you are doubtless aware, is the hide of the raja sephen, a Red Sea fish.”

“I know this product,” said the scientist, after examining the talisman with his magnifying glass. “It was once used for covering boxes. The shagreen is quite old. Nowadays, they prefer to use skate skin for making sheaths. This, as you probably know, is the hide of the raja sephen, a fish from the Red Sea.”

“But this, sir, since you are so exceedingly good——”

“But this, sir, since you are so incredibly kind——”

“This,” the man of science interrupted, as he resumed, “this is quite another thing; between these two shagreens, sir, there is a difference just as wide as between sea and land, or fish and flesh. The fish’s skin is harder, however, than the skin of the land animal. This,” he said, as he indicated the talisman, “is, as you doubtless know, one of the most curious of zoological products.”

“This,” the scientist interrupted as he continued, “is a completely different matter; there’s a difference between these two shagreens that’s as vast as the gap between sea and land, or between fish and meat. The fish skin is tougher, though, than the skin of the land animal. This,” he said, pointing to the talisman, “is, as you probably know, one of the most fascinating zoological products.”

“But to proceed——” said Raphael.

“But to continue——” said Raphael.

“This,” replied the man of science, as he flung himself down into his armchair, “is an ass’ skin, sir.”

“This,” replied the scientist as he flopped down into his armchair, “is an ass’s skin, sir.”

“Yes, I know,” said the young man.

“Yes, I know,” the young man said.

“A very rare variety of ass found in Persia,” the naturalist continued, “the onager of the ancients, equus asinus, the koulan of the Tartars; Pallas went out there to observe it, and has made it known to science, for as a matter of fact the animal for a long time was believed to be mythical. It is mentioned, as you know, in Holy Scripture; Moses forbade that it should be coupled with its own species, and the onager is yet more famous for the prostitutions of which it was the object, and which are often mentioned by the prophets of the Bible. Pallas, as you know doubtless, states in his Act. Petrop. tome II., that these bizarre excesses are still devoutly believed in among the Persians and the Nogais as a sovereign remedy for lumbago and sciatic gout. We poor Parisians scarcely believe that. The Museum has no example of the onager.

“A very rare type of donkey found in Persia,” the naturalist continued, “the onager of the ancients, equus asinus, the koulan of the Tartars; Pallas went there to study it and brought it to the attention of science, as it was long thought to be a myth. It’s mentioned, as you know, in Holy Scripture; Moses prohibited it from being bred with its own kind, and the onager is even more famous for the bizarre situations it was subjected to, which are often referenced by the prophets in the Bible. Pallas, as you probably know, mentions in his Act. Petrop. tome II., that these strange practices are still devoutly believed in among the Persians and the Nogais as a cure for lumbago and sciatic pain. We poor Parisians hardly believe that. The Museum has no example of the onager.”

“What a magnificent animal!” he continued. “It is full of mystery; its eyes are provided with a sort of burnished covering, to which the Orientals attribute the powers of fascination; it has a glossier and finer coat than our handsomest horses possess, striped with more or less tawny bands, very much like the zebra’s hide. There is something pliant and silky about its hair, which is sleek to the touch. Its powers of sight vie in precision and accuracy with those of man; it is rather larger than our largest domestic donkeys, and is possessed of extraordinary courage. If it is surprised by any chance, it defends itself against the most dangerous wild beasts with remarkable success; the rapidity of its movements can only be compared with the flight of birds; an onager, sir, would run the best Arab or Persian horses to death. According to the father of the conscientious Doctor Niebuhr, whose recent loss we are deploring, as you doubtless know, the ordinary average pace of one of these wonderful creatures would be seven thousand geometric feet per hour. Our own degenerate race of donkeys can give no idea of the ass in his pride and independence. He is active and spirited in his demeanor; he is cunning and sagacious; there is grace about the outlines of his head; every movement is full of attractive charm. In the East he is the king of beasts. Turkish and Persian superstition even credits him with a mysterious origin; and when stories of the prowess attributed to him are told in Thibet or in Tartary, the speakers mingle Solomon’s name with that of this noble animal. A tame onager, in short, is worth an enormous amount; it is well-nigh impossible to catch them among the mountains, where they leap like roebucks, and seem as if they could fly like birds. Our myth of the winged horse, our Pegasus, had its origin doubtless in these countries, where the shepherds could see the onager springing from one rock to another. In Persia they breed asses for the saddle, a cross between a tamed onager and a she-ass, and they paint them red, following immemorial tradition. Perhaps it was this custom that gave rise to our own proverb, ‘Surely as a red donkey.’ At some period when natural history was much neglected in France, I think a traveler must have brought over one of these strange beasts that endures servitude with such impatience. Hence the adage. The skin that you have laid before me is the skin of an onager. Opinions differ as to the origin of the name. Some claim that Chagri is a Turkish word; others insist that Chagri must be the name of the place where this animal product underwent the chemical process of preparation so clearly described by Pallas, to which the peculiar graining that we admire is due; Martellens has written to me saying that Chaagri is a river——”

“What an amazing animal!” he continued. “It’s full of mystery; its eyes have a kind of shiny covering that people in the East believe has fascinating powers. It has a shinier, finer coat than any beautiful horse, with stripes that resemble a zebra’s skin. There’s something flexible and silky about its fur, which feels smooth to the touch. Its eyesight is as precise and accurate as a human's; it’s slightly larger than our biggest domestic donkeys and has extraordinary courage. If it’s caught off guard, it defends itself against even the most dangerous wild animals with impressive success; its speed can only be compared to that of birds in flight; an onager, sir, would outpace the best Arab or Persian horses. According to the late father of the diligent Doctor Niebuhr, whose recent passing we mourn, as you probably know, the average pace of one of these amazing creatures is seven thousand geometric feet per hour. Our own weakened breed of donkeys gives no idea of the pride and independence of the ass. He is lively and spirited; he is clever and wise; there’s elegance in the shape of his head; every movement is captivating. In the East, he is the king of beasts. Turkish and Persian superstition even attributes a mysterious origin to him, and when tales of his prowess are told in Tibet or Tartary, the speakers mention Solomon’s name alongside this noble creature. A tame onager, in short, is worth a fortune; it’s nearly impossible to catch them in the mountains, where they leap like deer and seem like they could fly like birds. Our myth of the winged horse, our Pegasus, likely originated in these areas, where shepherds could see the onager jumping from one rock to another. In Persia, they breed donkeys for riding, a cross between a tame onager and a female donkey, and they paint them red, following ancient tradition. Perhaps this custom inspired our own saying, ‘As sure as a red donkey.’ At some point when natural history was largely ignored in France, I think a traveler must have brought one of these strange creatures that endures servitude with great impatience. That’s how the saying came to be. The skin you have shown me is the skin of an onager. There are different opinions about the origin of the name. Some say that Chagri is a Turkish word; others argue that Chagri is the name of the place where this animal product went through the chemical process of preparation described by Pallas, which gives it the unique graining we admire; Martellens has written to me saying that Chaagri is a river——”

“I thank you, sir, for the information that you have given me; it would furnish an admirable footnote for some Dom Calmet or other, if such erudite hermits yet exist; but I have had the honor of pointing out to you that this scrap was in the first instance quite as large as that map,” said Raphael, indicating an open atlas to Lavrille; “but it has shrunk visibly in three months’ time——”

“I appreciate the information you’ve shared, sir; it would make a great footnote for some scholar like Dom Calmet, if such knowledgeable individuals still exist. However, I must remind you that this piece was originally as large as that map,” said Raphael, pointing to an open atlas beside Lavrille; “but it has noticeably shrunk in just three months.”

“Quite so,” said the man of science. “I understand. The remains of any substance primarily organic are naturally subject to a process of decay. It is quite easy to understand, and its progress depends upon atmospherical conditions. Even metals contract and expand appreciably, for engineers have remarked somewhat considerable interstices between great blocks of stone originally clamped together with iron bars. The field of science is boundless, but human life is very short, so that we do not claim to be acquainted with all the phenomena of nature.”

“Exactly,” said the scientist. “I get it. The remains of any organic material naturally decay over time. It’s pretty straightforward, and how fast it happens depends on environmental conditions. Even metals shrink and expand noticeably; engineers have noticed significant gaps between large stone blocks that were originally held together with iron bars. The world of science is limitless, but human life is quite brief, so we don’t pretend to know all the phenomena of nature.”

“Pardon the question that I am about to ask you, sir,” Raphael began, half embarrassed, “but are you quite sure that this piece of skin is subject to the ordinary laws of zoology, and that it can be stretched?”

“Sorry to ask you this, sir,” Raphael started, feeling a bit embarrassed, “but are you really sure that this piece of skin follows the usual rules of zoology and that it can be stretched?”

“Certainly——oh, bother!——” muttered M. Lavrille, trying to stretch the talisman. “But if you, sir, will go to see Planchette,” he added, “the celebrated professor of mechanics, he will certainly discover some method of acting upon this skin, of softening and expanding it.”

“Sure—oh, come on!” muttered M. Lavrille, trying to stretch the talisman. “But if you, sir, go see Planchette,” he added, “the famous professor of mechanics, he will definitely find a way to work on this skin, to soften and expand it.”

“Ah, sir, you are the preserver of my life,” and Raphael took leave of the learned naturalist and hurried off to Planchette, leaving the worthy Lavrille in his study, all among the bottles and dried plants that filled it up.

“Ah, sir, you are the savior of my life,” and Raphael said goodbye to the knowledgeable naturalist and rushed off to Planchette, leaving the good Lavrille in his study, surrounded by the bottles and dried plants that filled the space.

Quite unconsciously Raphael brought away with him from this visit, all of science that man can grasp, a terminology to wit. Lavrille, the worthy man, was very much like Sancho Panza giving to Don Quixote the history of the goats; he was entertaining himself by making out a list of animals and ticking them off. Even now that his life was nearing its end, he was scarcely acquainted with a mere fraction of the countless numbers of the great tribes that God has scattered, for some unknown end, throughout the ocean of worlds.

Without realizing it, Raphael took away from this visit everything that humanity can understand about science, which includes its terminology. Lavrille, the good man, was a lot like Sancho Panza sharing stories about goats with Don Quixote; he was amusing himself by listing animals and checking them off. Even now, as his life was coming to a close, he barely knew a small part of the countless species that God has dispersed throughout the vast universe for reasons unknown.

Raphael was well pleased. “I shall keep my ass well in hand,” cried he. Sterne had said before his day, “Let us take care of our ass, if we wish to live to old age.” But it is such a fantastic brute!

Raphael was really happy. “I’ll keep my donkey in line,” he shouted. Sterne had said before his time, “Let’s take care of our donkey if we want to live to a ripe old age.” But it’s such a crazy animal!

Planchette was a tall, thin man, a poet of a surety, lost in one continual thought, and always employed in gazing into the bottomless abyss of Motion. Commonplace minds accuse these lofty intellects of madness; they form a misinterpreted race apart that lives in a wonderful carelessness of luxuries or other people’s notions. They will spend whole days at a stretch, smoking a cigar that has gone out, and enter a drawing-room with the buttons on their garments not in every case formally wedded to the button-holes. Some day or other, after a long time spent in measuring space, or in accumulating Xs under Aa-Gg, they succeed in analyzing some natural law, and resolve it into its elemental principles, and all on a sudden the crowd gapes at a new machine; or it is a handcart perhaps that overwhelms us with astonishment by the apt simplicity of its construction. The modest man of science smiles at his admirers, and remarks, “What is that invention of mine? Nothing whatever. Man cannot create a force; he can but direct it; and science consists in learning from nature.”

Planchette was a tall, thin man, definitely a poet, caught up in a continuous thought, always gazing into the endless depths of Motion. Ordinary people label these higher minds as crazy; they exist in a misunderstood realm, living with a carefree attitude toward luxuries and what others think. They can spend entire days puffing on a cigar that’s gone out and walk into a drawing-room with their buttons not always properly fastened to their buttonholes. Eventually, after a long time spent measuring space or tallying Xs under Aa-Gg, they manage to uncover some natural law and break it down into its basic principles. Suddenly, the crowd is amazed by a new machine; or it might be a handcart that surprises us with its brilliantly simple design. The humble scientist smiles at his admirers and says, “What’s this invention of mine? Nothing at all. Man cannot create a force; he can only direct it; and science is about learning from nature.”

The mechanician was standing bolt upright, planted on both feet, like some victim dropped straight from the gibbet, when Raphael broke in upon him. He was intently watching an agate ball that rolled over a sun-dial, and awaited its final settlement. The worthy man had received neither pension nor decoration; he had not known how to make the right use of his ability for calculation. He was happy in his life spent on the watch for a discovery; he had no thought either of reputation, of the outer world, nor even of himself, and led the life of science for the sake of science.

The mechanic was standing straight up, feet planted firmly, like someone who had just been dropped from a gallows, when Raphael interrupted him. He was focused on an agate ball rolling over a sundial, waiting for it to settle. The poor man hadn’t received any pension or awards; he didn’t know how to effectively use his talent for calculations. He was content in his life spent looking for a discovery; he had no thoughts of reputation, the outside world, or even himself, and lived for science for the sake of science.

“It is inexplicable,” he exclaimed. “Ah, your servant, sir,” he went on, becoming aware of Raphael’s existence. “How is your mother? You must go and see my wife.”

“It’s unbelievable,” he exclaimed. “Ah, your servant, sir,” he continued, noticing Raphael’s presence. “How is your mother? You should go and see my wife.”

“And I also could have lived thus,” thought Raphael, as he recalled the learned man from his meditations by asking of him how to produce any effect on the talisman, which he placed before him.

“And I also could have lived like this,” thought Raphael, as he remembered the scholar from his reflections by asking him how to create any effect on the talisman he placed in front of him.

“Although my credulity must amuse you, sir,” so the Marquis ended, “I will conceal nothing from you. That skin seems to me to be endowed with an insuperable power of resistance.”

“Although my gullibility must entertain you, sir,” the Marquis concluded, “I will hide nothing from you. That skin appears to have an unbeatable power of resistance.”

“People of fashion, sir, always treat science rather superciliously,” said Planchette. “They all talk to us pretty much as the incroyable did when he brought some ladies to see Lalande just after an eclipse, and remarked, ‘Be so good as to begin it over again!’ What effect do you want to produce? The object of the science of mechanics is either the application or the neutralization of the laws of motion. As for motion pure and simple, I tell you humbly, that we cannot possibly define it. That disposed of, unvarying phenomena have been observed which accompany the actions of solids and fluids. If we set up the conditions by which these phenomena are brought to pass, we can transport bodies or communicate locomotive power to them at a predetermined rate of speed. We can project them, divide them up in a few or an infinite number of pieces, accordingly as we break them or grind them to powder; we can twist bodies or make them rotate, modify, compress, expand, or extend them. The whole science, sir, rests upon a single fact.

“People in fashion, sir, tend to look down on science,” said Planchette. “They talk to us pretty much like the incroyable did when he brought some ladies to see Lalande just after an eclipse and said, ‘Could you please start over?’ What effect are you trying to achieve? The point of mechanics is either to apply or counteract the laws of motion. As for motion itself, I humbly say we can't really define it. That aside, we've observed consistent phenomena that occur with the behavior of solids and fluids. If we establish the conditions that lead to these phenomena, we can move objects or give them movement at a specific speed. We can launch them, break them into a few or countless pieces, depending on whether we shatter them or grind them down to dust; we can twist them or make them spin, modify, compress, expand, or stretch them. The entire science, sir, is based on one fundamental fact.”

“You see this ball,” he went on; “here it lies upon this slab. Now, it is over there. What name shall we give to what has taken place, so natural from a physical point of view, so amazing from a moral? Movement, locomotion, changing of place? What prodigious vanity lurks underneath the words. Does a name solve the difficulty? Yet it is the whole of our science for all that. Our machines either make direct use of this agency, this fact, or they convert it. This trifling phenomenon, applied to large masses, would send Paris flying. We can increase speed by an expenditure of force, and augment the force by an increase of speed. But what are speed and force? Our science is as powerless to tell us that as to create motion. Any movement whatever is an immense power, and man does not create power of any kind. Everything is movement, thought itself is a movement, upon movement nature is based. Death is a movement whose limitations are little known. If God is eternal, be sure that He moves perpetually; perhaps God is movement. That is why movement, like God is inexplicable, unfathomable, unlimited, incomprehensible, intangible. Who has ever touched, comprehended, or measured movement? We feel its effects without seeing it; we can even deny them as we can deny the existence of a God. Where is it? Where is it not? Whence comes it? What is its source? What is its end? It surrounds us, it intrudes upon us, and yet escapes us. It is evident as a fact, obscure as an abstraction; it is at once effect and cause. It requires space, even as we, and what is space? Movement alone recalls it to us; without movement, space is but an empty meaningless word. Like space, like creation, like the infinite, movement is an insoluble problem which confounds human reason; man will never conceive it, whatever else he may be permitted to conceive.

“You see this ball,” he continued; “here it is on this slab. Now, it’s over there. What do we call what just happened, which is so natural from a physical perspective but amazing from a moral one? Movement, locomotion, change of place? There’s a tremendous vanity hidden in those words. Does giving it a name solve the problem? Yet that’s the essence of our science. Our machines either directly use this principle, this fact, or they transform it. This seemingly minor phenomenon, when applied to large masses, could launch Paris into the sky. We can increase speed with force, and enhance force by increasing speed. But what even are speed and force? Our science is as clueless to explain them as it is to create motion. Any movement is an immense power, and humans do not create power of any kind. Everything is movement; even thought is a form of movement, and nature is built on movement. Death is a movement with boundaries that are poorly understood. If God is eternal, then He must be in constant motion; perhaps God is movement itself. That’s why movement, like God, is inexplicable, unfathomable, limitless, incomprehensible, intangible. Who has ever touched, understood, or measured movement? We feel its effects without seeing it; we can even deny them just like we can deny the existence of God. Where is it? Where is it not? Where does it come from? What is its source? What is its end? It surrounds us, intrudes on us, and yet slips away. It is evident as a fact, unclear as an abstract idea; it is both effect and cause. It requires space, just as we do, but what is space? Only movement can remind us of it; without movement, space is just an empty, meaningless word. Like space, like creation, like the infinite, movement is an intractable problem that baffles human reason; humans will never fully grasp it, no matter what else they may be able to understand.

“Between each point in space occupied in succession by that ball,” continued the man of science, “there is an abyss confronting human reason, an abyss into which Pascal fell. In order to produce any effect upon an unknown substance, we ought first of all to study that substance; to know whether, in accordance with its nature, it will be broken by the force of a blow, or whether it will withstand it; if it breaks in pieces, and you have no wish to split it up, we shall not achieve the end proposed. If you want to compress it, a uniform impulse must be communicated to all the particles of the substance, so as to diminish the interval that separates them in an equal degree. If you wish to expand it, we should try to bring a uniform eccentric force to bear on every molecule; for unless we conform accurately to this law, we shall have breaches in continuity. The modes of motion, sir, are infinite, and no limit exists to combinations of movement. Upon what effect have you determined?”

“Between each point in space that the ball occupies in order, there’s a gap that challenges human understanding, a gap that Pascal fell into. To have any impact on an unknown substance, we first need to study that substance; we have to know if, given its nature, it will shatter from a blow or hold up against it. If it breaks and you don’t want it to, we won’t achieve our goal. If you aim to compress it, a uniform force must be applied to all the particles in the substance to equally reduce the space between them. If you want to expand it, we need to apply an even outward force to every molecule; unless we follow this rule carefully, we’ll have breaks in continuity. The ways of moving are countless, and there's no limit to how movement can be combined. What effect have you decided on?”

“I want any kind of pressure that is strong enough to expand the skin indefinitely,” began Raphael, quite of out patience.

“I want any kind of pressure that’s strong enough to stretch the skin endlessly,” began Raphael, totally out of patience.

“Substance is finite,” the mathematician put in, “and therefore will not admit of indefinite expansion, but pressure will necessarily increase the extent of surface at the expense of the thickness, which will be diminished until the point is reached when the material gives out——”

“Substance is limited,” the mathematician added, “and so it cannot expand endlessly. However, applying pressure will inevitably increase the surface area while decreasing the thickness, which will continue to shrink until we reach the point where the material fails—”

“Bring about that result, sir,” Raphael cried, “and you will have earned millions.”

“Make that happen, sir,” Raphael shouted, “and you’ll earn millions.”

“Then I should rob you of your money,” replied the other, phlegmatic as a Dutchman. “I am going to show you, in a word or two, that a machine can be made that is fit to crush Providence itself in pieces like a fly. It would reduce a man to the conditions of a piece of waste paper; a man—boots and spurs, hat and cravat, trinkets and gold, and all——”

“Then I should take your money,” replied the other, calm as a Dutchman. “I’m about to show you, in just a word or two, that a machine can be created that could crush Providence itself to bits like a fly. It would turn a person into nothing more than a piece of scrap paper; a person—boots and spurs, hat and tie, jewelry and gold, and all——”

“What a fearful machine!”

“What a scary machine!”

“Instead of flinging their brats into the water, the Chinese ought to make them useful in this way,” the man of science went on, without reflecting on the regard man has for his progeny.

“Instead of throwing their kids into the water, the Chinese should make them useful in this way,” the scientist continued, not considering the value that people place on their children.

Quite absorbed by his idea, Planchette took an empty flower-pot, with a hole in the bottom, and put it on the surface of the dial, then he went to look for a little clay in a corner of the garden. Raphael stood spellbound, like a child to whom his nurse is telling some wonderful story. Planchette put the clay down upon the slab, drew a pruning-knife from his pocket, cut two branches from an elder tree, and began to clean them of pith by blowing through them, as if Raphael had not been present.

Completely absorbed in his idea, Planchette grabbed an empty flower pot with a hole in the bottom and placed it on the surface of the dial. Then he went to search for some clay in a corner of the garden. Raphael stood there, entranced, like a child listening to a nurse telling a fantastical story. Planchette set the clay down on the slab, pulled a pruning knife from his pocket, cut two branches from an elder tree, and started to clean out the pith by blowing through them, as if Raphael weren't even there.

“There are the rudiments of the apparatus,” he said. Then he connected one of the wooden pipes with the bottom of the flower-pot by way of a clay joint, in such a way that the mouth of the elder stem was just under the hole of the flower-pot; you might have compared it to a big tobacco-pipe. He spread a bed of clay over the surface of the slab, in a shovel-shaped mass, set down the flower-pot at the wider end of it, and laid the pipe of the elder stem along the portion which represented the handle of the shovel. Next he put a lump of clay at the end of the elder stem and therein planted the other pipe, in an upright position, forming a second elbow which connected it with the first horizontal pipe in such a manner that the air, or any given fluid in circulation, could flow through this improvised piece of mechanism from the mouth of the vertical tube, along the intermediate passages, and so into the large empty flower-pot.

“There are the basics of the setup,” he said. Then he connected one of the wooden pipes to the bottom of the flower pot using a clay joint, positioning it so that the end of the elder stem was just below the hole in the flower pot; you could compare it to a large tobacco pipe. He spread a layer of clay over the surface of the slab in a shovel-shaped mound, placed the flower pot at the wider end of it, and laid the pipe of the elder stem along the part that represented the handle of the shovel. Next, he added a lump of clay at the end of the elder stem and inserted the other pipe into it, standing it upright, forming a second elbow that connected it to the first horizontal pipe in a way that allowed air, or any fluid, to flow through this makeshift mechanism from the mouth of the vertical tube, along the connecting passages, and into the large empty flower pot.

“This apparatus, sir,” he said to Raphael, with all the gravity of an academician pronouncing his initiatory discourse, “is one of the great Pascal’s grandest claims upon our admiration.”

“This device, sir,” he said to Raphael, with all the seriousness of a professor giving his introductory lecture, “is one of the greatest achievements of the great Pascal that deserves our admiration.”

“I don’t understand.”

"I don't get it."

The man of science smiled. He went up to a fruit-tree and took down a little phial in which the druggist had sent him some liquid for catching ants; he broke off the bottom and made a funnel of the top, carefully fitting it to the mouth of the vertical hollowed stem that he had set in the clay, and at the opposite end to the great reservoir, represented by the flower-pot. Next, by means of a watering-pot, he poured in sufficient water to rise to the same level in the large vessel and in the tiny circular funnel at the end of the elder stem.

The scientist smiled. He walked over to a fruit tree and took down a small vial that the pharmacist had sent him, containing a liquid to catch ants. He broke off the bottom and shaped the top into a funnel, carefully attaching it to the mouth of the vertical hollow stem he had set in the clay, and at the other end to the large reservoir represented by the flower pot. Next, using a watering can, he poured in enough water to raise the level in the large container to match that in the tiny circular funnel at the end of the elder stem.

Raphael was thinking of his piece of skin.

Raphael was thinking about his piece of skin.

“Water is considered to-day, sir, to be an incompressible body,” said the mechanician; “never lose sight of that fundamental principle; still it can be compressed, though only so very slightly that we should regard its faculty for contracting as a zero. You see the amount of surface presented by the water at the brim of the flower-pot?”

“Water is seen today, sir, as an incompressible substance,” said the mechanician; “never forget that basic principle; however, it can be compressed, but only to such a small degree that we should consider its ability to contract as negligible. Do you see the surface area presented by the water at the edge of the flower pot?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Very good; now suppose that that surface is a thousand times larger than the orifice of the elder stem through which I poured the liquid. Here, I am taking the funnel away——”

“Very good; now let's say that surface is a thousand times larger than the opening of the older stem through which I poured the liquid. Here, I'm removing the funnel—”

“Granted.”

"Got it."

“Well, then, if by any method whatever I increase the volume of that quantity of water by pouring in yet more through the mouth of the little tube; the water thus compelled to flow downwards would rise in the reservoir, represented by the flower-pot, until it reached the same level at either end.”

“Well, if I add more water through the little tube in any way, the water that’s forced to flow down will rise in the reservoir, shown by the flower pot, until it’s at the same level on both sides.”

“That is quite clear,” cried Raphael.

"That’s pretty clear," shouted Raphael.

“But there is this difference,” the other went on. “Suppose that the thin column of water poured into the little vertical tube there exerts a force equal, say, to a pound weight, for instance, its action will be punctually communicated to the great body of the liquid, and will be transmitted to every part of the surface represented by the water in the flower-pot so that at the surface there will be a thousand columns of water, every one pressing upwards as if they were impelled by a force equal to that which compels the liquid to descend in the vertical tube; and of necessity they reproduce here,” said Planchette, indicating to Raphael the top of the flower-pot, “the force introduced over there, a thousand-fold,” and the man of science pointed out to the marquis the upright wooden pipe set in the clay.

“But there’s one key difference,” the other continued. “Imagine that the thin stream of water flowing into that small vertical tube exerts a force equal to, say, a pound weight. Its effect will be immediately felt throughout the entire body of liquid and transmitted to every part of the surface represented by the water in the flower pot. So, at the surface, there will be a thousand streams of water, each pressing upward as if pushed by a force equal to that which makes the liquid flow down the vertical tube. Therefore, they will inevitably recreate here,” said Planchette, gesturing to Raphael at the top of the flower pot, “the force introduced over there, multiplied by a thousand,” and the scientist pointed out to the marquis the upright wooden pipe set in the clay.

“That is quite simple,” said Raphael.

"That's pretty simple," Raphael said.

Planchette smiled again.

Planchette smiled once more.

“In other words,” he went on, with the mathematician’s natural stubborn propensity for logic, “in order to resist the force of the incoming water, it would be necessary to exert, upon every part of the large surface, a force equal to that brought into action in the vertical column, but with this difference—if the column of liquid is a foot in height, the thousand little columns of the wide surface will only have a very slight elevating power.

“In other words,” he continued, with the mathematician’s usual stubbornness for logic, “to oppose the force of the incoming water, we would need to apply a force equal to that exerted in the vertical column across every part of the large surface. However, there’s a key difference—if the liquid column is a foot tall, the thousands of smaller columns across the wide surface will have only a minimal lifting power.”

“Now,” said Planchette, as he gave a fillip to his bits of stick, “let us replace this funny little apparatus by steel tubes of suitable strength and dimensions; and if you cover the liquid surface of the reservoir with a strong sliding plate of metal, and if to this metal plate you oppose another, solid enough and strong enough to resist any test; if, furthermore, you give me the power of continually adding water to the volume of liquid contents by means of the little vertical tube, the object fixed between the two solid metal plates must of necessity yield to the tremendous crushing force which indefinitely compresses it. The method of continually pouring in water through a little tube, like the manner of communicating force through the volume of the liquid to a small metal plate, is an absurdly primitive mechanical device. A brace of pistons and a few valves would do it all. Do you perceive, my dear sir,” he said taking Valentin by the arm, “there is scarcely a substance in existence that would not be compelled to dilate when fixed in between these two indefinitely resisting surfaces?”

“Now,” said Planchette, as he flicked his sticks, “let’s swap out this quirky little device for steel tubes that are strong and sized properly; and if you cover the liquid surface of the reservoir with a solid metal sliding plate, and if you put another plate against it that’s sturdy enough to handle any pressure test; and furthermore, if you let me keep adding water to the liquid volume through a small vertical tube, then the object trapped between these two solid metal plates will inevitably give in to the intense crushing force that continuously compresses it. The idea of constantly adding water through a small tube, like transmitting force through liquid to a small metal plate, is an extremely basic mechanical approach. A pair of pistons and some valves would accomplish everything. Do you see, my dear sir,” he said, taking Valentin by the arm, “there’s hardly a material in existence that wouldn’t be forced to expand when placed between these two endlessly resistant surfaces?”

“What! the author of the Lettres provinciales invented it?” Raphael exclaimed.

“What! The author of the Lettres provinciales came up with that?” Raphael exclaimed.

“He and no other, sir. The science of mechanics knows no simpler nor more beautiful contrivance. The opposite principle, the capacity of expansion possessed by water, has brought the steam-engine into being. But water will only expand up to a certain point, while its incompressibility, being a force in a manner negative, is, of necessity, infinite.”

“He and no one else, sir. The science of mechanics has no simpler or more beautiful invention. The opposite principle, the ability of water to expand, is what created the steam engine. But water will only expand to a certain point, while its incompressibility, being a somewhat negative force, is necessarily infinite.”

“If this skin is expanded,” said Raphael, “I promise you to erect a colossal statue to Blaise Pascal; to found a prize of a hundred thousand francs to be offered every ten years for the solution of the grandest problem of mechanical science effected during the interval; to find dowries for all your cousins and second cousins, and finally to build an asylum on purpose for impoverished or insane mathematicians.”

“If this skin is stretched,” said Raphael, “I promise to build a massive statue of Blaise Pascal; to establish a prize of a hundred thousand francs to be awarded every ten years for the greatest solution in mechanical science during that time; to secure dowries for all your cousins and second cousins, and finally to create an asylum specifically for struggling or insane mathematicians.”

“That would be exceedingly useful,” Planchette replied. “We will go to Spieghalter to-morrow, sir,” he continued, with the serenity of a man living on a plane wholly intellectual. “That distinguished mechanic has just completed, after my own designs, an improved mechanical arrangement by which a child could get a thousand trusses of hay inside his cap.”

“That's incredibly useful,” Planchette replied. “We'll go to Spieghalter tomorrow, sir,” he continued, with the calmness of someone entirely focused on intellectual matters. “That talented mechanic has just finished, based on my designs, an upgraded mechanical setup that allows a child to fit a thousand bales of hay inside his cap.”

“Then good-bye till to-morrow.”

“Then goodbye until tomorrow.”

“Till to-morrow, sir.”

“See you tomorrow, sir.”

“Talk of mechanics!” cried Raphael; “isn’t it the greatest of the sciences? The other fellow with his onagers, classifications, ducks, and species, and his phials full of bottled monstrosities, is at best only fit for a billiard-marker in a saloon.”

“Talk about mechanics!” exclaimed Raphael; “isn’t it the greatest of all the sciences? That other guy with his catapults, classifications, ducks, and species, and his bottles full of strange creatures is really only suited to be a scoreboard keeper in a bar.”

The next morning Raphael went off in great spirits to find Planchette, and together they set out for the Rue de la Sante—auspicious appellation! Arrived at Spieghalter’s, the young man found himself in a vast foundry; his eyes lighted upon a multitude of glowing and roaring furnaces. There was a storm of sparks, a deluge of nails, an ocean of pistons, vices, levers, valves, girders, files, and nuts; a sea of melted metal, baulks of timber and bar-steel. Iron filings filled your throat. There was iron in the atmosphere; the men were covered with it; everything reeked of iron. The iron seemed to be a living organism; it became a fluid, moved, and seemed to shape itself intelligently after every fashion, to obey the worker’s every caprice. Through the uproar made by the bellows, the crescendo of the falling hammers, and the shrill sounds of the lathes that drew groans from the steel, Raphael passed into a large, clean, and airy place where he was able to inspect at his leisure the great press that Planchette had told him about. He admired the cast-iron beams, as one might call them, and the twin bars of steel coupled together with indestructible bolts.

The next morning, Raphael set off in high spirits to find Planchette, and together they headed to Rue de la Sante—what a fitting name! When they arrived at Spieghalter’s, the young man found himself in a huge foundry; his eyes were drawn to a multitude of glowing and roaring furnaces. There was a storm of sparks, a deluge of nails, an ocean of pistons, vices, levers, valves, girders, files, and nuts; a sea of melted metal, beams of timber, and bar steel. Iron filings filled the air. The atmosphere was charged with iron; the workers were covered in it; everything reeked of metal. The iron seemed to have a life of its own; it flowed, moved, and appeared to shape itself intelligently, responding to the workers' every whim. Amidst the cacophony of bellows, the rhythmic crashing of falling hammers, and the high-pitched sounds of lathes moaning under the steel, Raphael walked into a large, clean, and airy space where he could examine the massive press that Planchette had mentioned at his leisure. He admired the cast-iron beams, as one might call them, and the twin bars of steel held together with indestructible bolts.

“If you were to give seven rapid turns to that crank,” said Spieghalter, pointing out a beam of polished steel, “you would make a steel bar spurt out in thousands of jets, that would get into your legs like needles.”

“If you give that crank seven quick turns,” Spieghalter said, pointing to a beam of polished steel, “you’ll make a steel bar shoot out in thousands of jets that will hit your legs like needles.”

“The deuce!” exclaimed Raphael.

“Seriously?!” exclaimed Raphael.

Planchette himself slipped the piece of skin between the metal plates of the all-powerful press; and, brimful of the certainty of a scientific conviction, he worked the crank energetically.

Planchette himself slid the piece of skin between the metal plates of the powerful press; and, filled with the confidence of a scientific belief, he turned the crank with energy.

“Lie flat, all of you; we are dead men!” thundered Spieghalter, as he himself fell prone on the floor.

“Lie flat, everyone; we’re dead men!” shouted Spieghalter, as he himself fell down on the floor.

A hideous shrieking sound rang through the workshops. The water in the machine had broken the chamber, and now spouted out in a jet of incalculable force; luckily it went in the direction of an old furnace, which was overthrown, enveloped and carried away by a waterspout.

A terrible screech echoed through the workshops. The water in the machine had burst the chamber and was now shooting out with enormous force; fortunately, it aimed toward an old furnace, which was knocked over, engulfed, and swept away by a waterspout.

“Ha!” remarked Planchette serenely, “the piece of skin is as safe and sound as my eye. There was a flaw in your reservoir somewhere, or a crevice in the large tube——”

“Ha!” said Planchette calmly, “the piece of skin is as secure as my eye. There was a defect in your reservoir somewhere, or a gap in the large tube——”

“No, no; I know my reservoir. The devil is in your contrivance, sir; you can take it away,” and the German pounced upon a smith’s hammer, flung the skin down on an anvil, and, with all the strength that rage gives, dealt the talisman the most formidable blow that had ever resounded through his workshops.

“No, no; I know my reservoir. The problem is in your device, sir; you can take it away,” and the German grabbed a blacksmith's hammer, threw the skin down on an anvil, and with all the strength that anger provides, struck the talisman with the most powerful blow that had ever echoed through his workshops.

“There is not so much as a mark on it!” said Planchette, stroking the perverse bit of skin.

“There isn’t even a mark on it!” said Planchette, stroking the twisted piece of skin.

The workmen hurried in. The foreman took the skin and buried it in the glowing coal of a forge, while, in a semi-circle round the fire, they all awaited the action of a huge pair of bellows. Raphael, Spieghalter, and Professor Planchette stood in the midst of the grimy expectant crowd. Raphael, looking round on faces dusted over with iron filings, white eyes, greasy blackened clothing, and hairy chests, could have fancied himself transported into the wild nocturnal world of German ballad poetry. After the skin had been in the fire for ten minutes, the foreman pulled it out with a pair of pincers.

The workers rushed in. The foreman grabbed the skin and buried it in the glowing coals of the forge while everyone gathered in a semi-circle around the fire, waiting for a huge pair of bellows to act. Raphael, Spieghalter, and Professor Planchette stood among the grimy, expectant crowd. Raphael, looking at faces covered in iron filings, bright eyes, greasy, dirty clothes, and hairy chests, could almost imagine he had been transported into the wild, nighttime world of German ballad poetry. After the skin had been in the fire for ten minutes, the foreman pulled it out with a pair of tongs.

“Hand it over to me,” said Raphael.

"Give it to me," said Raphael.

The foreman held it out by way of a joke. The Marquis readily handled it; it was cool and flexible between his fingers. An exclamation of alarm went up; the workmen fled in terror. Valentin was left alone with Planchette in the empty workshop.

The foreman held it out as a joke. The Marquis easily took it; it was cool and flexible in his fingers. A shout of alarm went up; the workers ran away in fear. Valentin was left alone with Planchette in the empty workshop.

“There is certainly something infernal in the thing!” cried Raphael, in desperation. “Is no human power able to give me one more day of existence?”

“There’s definitely something hellish about this!” Raphael exclaimed, in despair. “Is there no human power that can give me just one more day of life?”

“I made a mistake, sir,” said the mathematician, with a penitent expression; “we ought to have subjected that peculiar skin to the action of a rolling machine. Where could my eyes have been when I suggested compression!”

“I made a mistake, sir,” said the mathematician, looking regretful. “We should have put that unusual skin through a rolling machine. Where was my head when I suggested compression?”

“It was I that asked for it,” Raphael answered.

“It was me who asked for it,” Raphael answered.

The mathematician heaved a sigh of relief, like a culprit acquitted by a dozen jurors. Still, the strange problem afforded by the skin interested him; he meditated a moment, and then remarked:

The mathematician let out a sigh of relief, like someone who’s just been found not guilty by twelve jurors. Still, the odd problem presented by the skin intrigued him; he thought for a moment and then said:

“This unknown material ought to be treated chemically by re-agents. Let us call on Japhet—perhaps the chemist may have better luck than the mechanic.”

“This unknown material should be treated chemically with reagents. Let’s ask Japhet—maybe the chemist will have better luck than the mechanic.”

Valentin urged his horse into a rapid trot, hoping to find the chemist, the celebrated Japhet, in his laboratory.

Valentin spurred his horse into a quick trot, hoping to catch the famous chemist Japhet in his lab.

“Well, old friend,” Planchette began, seeing Japhet in his armchair, examining a precipitate; “how goes chemistry?”

“Well, old friend,” Planchette began, noticing Japhet in his armchair, looking at a precipitate; “how's chemistry going?”

“Gone to sleep. Nothing new at all. The Academie, however, has recognized the existence of salicine, but salicine, asparagine, vauqueline, and digitaline are not really discoveries——”

“Gone to sleep. Nothing new at all. The Academy, however, has acknowledged the existence of salicine, but salicine, asparagine, vauqueline, and digitalin aren't really new discoveries——”

“Since you cannot invent substances,” said Raphael, “you are obliged to fall back on inventing names.”

“Since you can’t create substances,” said Raphael, “you have to rely on creating names.”

“Most emphatically true, young man.”

“Absolutely true, young man.”

“Here,” said Planchette, addressing the chemist, “try to analyze this composition; if you can extract any element whatever from it, I christen it diaboline beforehand, for we have just smashed a hydraulic press in trying to compress it.”

“Here,” said Planchette, speaking to the chemist, “give this composition a shot at analysis; if you can extract any element from it at all, I’ll name it diaboline in advance, because we just broke a hydraulic press trying to compress it.”

“Let’s see! let’s have a look at it!” cried the delighted chemist; “it may, perhaps, be a fresh element.”

“Let’s see! Let’s take a look at it!” exclaimed the excited chemist; “it might be a new element.”

“It is simply a piece of the skin of an ass, sir,” said Raphael.

“It’s just a piece of donkey skin, sir,” said Raphael.

“Sir!” said the illustrious chemist sternly.

“Sir!” said the renowned chemist firmly.

“I am not joking,” the Marquis answered, laying the piece of skin before him.

“I’m not joking,” the Marquis replied, placing the piece of skin in front of him.

Baron Japhet applied the nervous fibres of his tongue to the skin; he had skill in thus detecting salts, acids, alkalis, and gases. After several experiments, he remarked:

Baron Japhet used the sensitive nerve endings on his tongue against the skin; he was skilled at identifying salts, acids, alkalis, and gases this way. After several experiments, he noted:

“No taste whatever! Come, we will give it a little fluoric acid to drink.”

“No taste at all! Come on, let’s give it a little fluoric acid to drink.”

Subjected to the influence of this ready solvent of animal tissue, the skin underwent no change whatsoever.

Subjected to the effect of this quick solvent of animal tissue, the skin showed no change at all.

“It is not shagreen at all!” the chemist cried. “We will treat this unknown mystery as a mineral, and try its mettle by dropping it in a crucible where I have at this moment some red potash.”

“It’s not shagreen at all!” the chemist exclaimed. “We’ll treat this unknown mystery as a mineral and test its qualities by dropping it into a crucible where I currently have some red potash.”

Japhet went out, and returned almost immediately.

Japhet went out and came back almost right away.

“Allow me to cut away a bit of this strange substance, sir,” he said to Raphael; “it is so extraordinary——”

“Let me cut away some of this strange stuff, sir,” he said to Raphael; “it’s so weird——”

“A bit!” exclaimed Raphael; “not so much as a hair’s-breadth. You may try, though,” he added, half banteringly, half sadly.

“A little!” Raphael exclaimed; “not even a hair's breadth. You can try, though,” he added, half jokingly, half sadly.

The chemist broke a razor in his desire to cut the skin; he tried to break it by a powerful electric shock; next he submitted it to the influence of a galvanic battery; but all the thunderbolts his science wotted of fell harmless on the dreadful talisman.

The chemist broke a razor in his attempt to cut through the skin; he tried to shatter it with a powerful electric shock; then he exposed it to the effects of a galvanic battery; but all the powerful techniques his science knew of had no effect on the terrifying talisman.

It was seven o’clock in the evening. Planchette, Japhet, and Raphael, unaware of the flight of time, were awaiting the outcome of a final experiment. The Magic Skin emerged triumphant from a formidable encounter in which it had been engaged with a considerable quantity of chloride of nitrogen.

It was seven in the evening. Planchette, Japhet, and Raphael, unaware of the time passing, were waiting for the results of a final experiment. The Magic Skin had come out victorious from a tough challenge it faced with a significant amount of chloride of nitrogen.

“It is all over with me,” Raphael wailed. “It is the finger of God! I shall die!——” and he left the two amazed scientific men.

“It’s all over for me,” Raphael cried. “It’s the finger of God! I’m going to die!——” and he left the two stunned scientists.

“We must be very careful not to talk about this affair at the Academie; our colleagues there would laugh at us,” Planchette remarked to the chemist, after a long pause, in which they looked at each other without daring to communicate their thoughts. The learned pair looked like two Christians who had issued from their tombs to find no God in the heavens. Science had been powerless; acids, so much clear water; red potash had been discredited; the galvanic battery and electric shock had been a couple of playthings.

“We need to be really careful not to discuss this situation at the Academy; our colleagues there would just laugh at us,” Planchette said to the chemist after a long pause, during which they exchanged glances without daring to share their thoughts. The two learned individuals resembled two Christians who had emerged from their graves only to find no God in the sky. Science had failed; acids, just plain water; red potash had lost its credibility; the galvanic battery and electric shock had turned into mere toys.

“A hydraulic press broken like a biscuit!” commented Planchette.

“A hydraulic press shattered like a cookie!” commented Planchette.

“I believe in the devil,” said the Baron Japhet, after a moment’s silence.

“I believe in the devil,” said Baron Japhet, after a moment of silence.

“And I in God,” replied Planchette.

“And I in God,” replied Planchette.

Each spoke in character. The universe for a mechanician is a machine that requires an operator; for chemistry—that fiendish employment of decomposing all things—the world is a gas endowed with the power of movement.

Each spoke in character. For a mechanic, the universe is a machine that needs an operator; for chemistry— that tricky job of breaking everything down— the world is a gas with the ability to move.

“We cannot deny the fact,” the chemist replied.

“We can’t deny that,” the chemist replied.

“Pshaw! those gentlemen the doctrinaires have invented a nebulous aphorism for our consolation—Stupid as a fact.”

“Pshaw! Those so-called experts have come up with a confusing saying to comfort us—As foolish as a fact.”

“Your aphorism,” said the chemist, “seems to me as a fact very stupid.”

“Your saying,” said the chemist, “seems really stupid to me.”

They began to laugh, and went off to dine like folk for whom a miracle is nothing more than a phenomenon.

They started to laugh and went off to eat like people for whom a miracle is just another event.

Valentin reached his own house shivering with rage and consumed with anger. He had no more faith in anything. Conflicting thoughts shifted and surged to and fro in his brain, as is the case with every man brought face to face with an inconceivable fact. He had readily believed in some hidden flaw in Spieghalter’s apparatus; he had not been surprised by the incompetence and failure of science and of fire; but the flexibility of the skin as he handled it, taken with its stubbornness when all means of destruction that man possesses had been brought to bear upon it in vain—these things terrified him. The incontrovertible fact made him dizzy.

Valentin arrived home shaking with rage and filled with anger. He had lost faith in everything. Conflicting thoughts clashed in his mind, as they do for anyone confronted with an unimaginable reality. He had easily believed there was some hidden flaw in Spieghalter’s apparatus; he wasn’t surprised by the incompetence and failures of science and fire; but the way the skin felt so pliable in his hands, combined with its stubbornness against all the destructive methods humanity had thrown at it in vain—these things terrified him. The undeniable truth left him feeling dizzy.

“I am mad,” he muttered. “I have had no food since the morning, and yet I am neither hungry nor thirsty, and there is a fire in my breast that burns me.”

“I’m going crazy,” he whispered. “I haven’t eaten since this morning, and yet I don’t feel hungry or thirsty, but there’s a fire inside me that’s consuming me.”

He put back the skin in the frame where it had been enclosed but lately, drew a line in red ink about the actual configuration of the talisman, and seated himself in his armchair.

He placed the skin back in the frame where it had been kept before, drew a line in red ink around the shape of the talisman, and sat down in his armchair.

“Eight o’clock already!” he exclaimed. “To-day has gone like a dream.”

“Eight o’clock already!” he said. “Today has gone by like a dream.”

He leaned his elbow on the arm of the chair, propped his head with his left hand, and so remained, lost in secret dark reflections and consuming thoughts that men condemned to die bear away with them.

He rested his elbow on the arm of the chair, supported his head with his left hand, and stayed that way, absorbed in deep, dark thoughts that people facing execution often carry with them.

“O Pauline!” he cried. “Poor child! there are gulfs that love can never traverse, despite the strength of his wings.”

“O Pauline!” he exclaimed. “Poor girl! There are gaps that love can never cross, no matter how strong its wings are.”

Just then he very distinctly heard a smothered sigh, and knew by one of the most tender privileges of passionate love that it was Pauline’s breathing.

Just then, he clearly heard a muffled sigh and, thanks to one of the most intimate aspects of passionate love, he recognized it was Pauline’s breathing.

“That is my death warrant,” he said to himself. “If she were there, I should wish to die in her arms.”

"That's my death sentence," he thought to himself. "If she were here, I'd want to die in her arms."

A burst of gleeful and hearty laughter made him turn his face towards the bed; he saw Pauline’s face through the transparent curtains, smiling like a child for gladness over a successful piece of mischief. Her pretty hair fell over her shoulders in countless curls; she looked like a Bengal rose upon a pile of white roses.

A burst of happy, hearty laughter made him turn toward the bed; he saw Pauline’s face through the sheer curtains, smiling like a child thrilled by a successful prank. Her beautiful hair cascaded over her shoulders in countless curls; she looked like a Bengal rose among a pile of white roses.

“I cajoled Jonathan,” said she. “Doesn’t the bed belong to me, to me who am your wife? Don’t scold me, darling; I only wanted to surprise you, to sleep beside you. Forgive me for my freak.”

“I convinced Jonathan,” she said. “Doesn’t the bed belong to me, your wife? Please don’t be mad, darling; I just wanted to surprise you and sleep next to you. Forgive me for being unusual.”

She sprang out of bed like a kitten, showed herself gleaming in her lawn raiment, and sat down on Raphael’s knee.

She jumped out of bed like a kitten, looked radiant in her light dress, and sat down on Raphael's lap.

“Love, what gulf were you talking about?” she said, with an anxious expression apparent upon her face.

“Love, what gap were you talking about?” she said, with a worried look clear on her face.

“Death.”

"Death."

“You hurt me,” she answered. “There are some thoughts upon which we, poor women that we are, cannot dwell; they are death to us. Is it strength of love in us, or lack of courage? I cannot tell. Death does not frighten me,” she began again, laughingly. “To die with you, both together, to-morrow morning, in one last embrace, would be joy. It seems to me that even then I should have lived more than a hundred years. What does the number of days matter if we have spent a whole lifetime of peace and love in one night, in one hour?”

“You hurt me,” she replied. “There are some thoughts that we, unfortunate women, just can’t handle; they are deadly to us. Is it love that gives us strength, or is it a lack of courage? I can't say. Death doesn’t scare me,” she started again, laughing. “To die with you, together, tomorrow morning, in one last embrace, would be bliss. It seems to me that even then I would feel like I’ve lived more than a hundred years. What does it matter how many days we have if we’ve spent a whole lifetime of peace and love in just one night, in just one hour?”

“You are right; Heaven is speaking through that pretty mouth of yours. Grant that I may kiss you, and let us die,” said Raphael.

“You're right; Heaven is speaking through those pretty lips of yours. Let me kiss you, and then we can die,” said Raphael.

“Then let us die,” she said, laughing.

“Then let's die,” she said, laughing.

Towards nine o’clock in the morning the daylight streamed through the chinks of the window shutters. Obscured somewhat by the muslin curtains, it yet sufficed to show clearly the rich colors of the carpet, the silks and furniture of the room, where the two lovers were lying asleep. The gilding sparkled here and there. A ray of sunshine fell and faded upon the soft down quilt that the freaks of live had thrown to the ground. The outlines of Pauline’s dress, hanging from a cheval glass, appeared like a shadowy ghost. Her dainty shoes had been left at a distance from the bed. A nightingale came to perch upon the sill; its trills repeated over again, and the sounds of its wings suddenly shaken out for flight, awoke Raphael.

Around nine in the morning, daylight streamed through the gaps in the window shutters. Partially obscured by the muslin curtains, it was still enough to clearly illuminate the rich colors of the carpet, the silks, and the furniture in the room where the two lovers were sleeping. The gilding sparkled here and there. A ray of sunshine fell and faded on the soft down quilt that life’s whims had tossed to the ground. The outline of Pauline’s dress, hanging from a cheval glass, looked like a shadowy ghost. Her delicate shoes were left some distance from the bed. A nightingale perched on the sill; its trills echoed over and over, and the sound of its wings suddenly flapping for flight woke Raphael.

“For me to die,” he said, following out a thought begun in his dream, “my organization, the mechanism of flesh and bone, that is quickened by the will in me, and makes of me an individual MAN, must display some perceptible disease. Doctors ought to understand the symptoms of any attack on vitality, and could tell me whether I am sick or sound.”

“For me to die,” he said, continuing a thought that started in his dream, “my body, the system of flesh and bone, that is energized by my will and makes me a unique individual, must show some visible signs of illness. Doctors should be able to recognize the symptoms of any threat to my vitality and can tell me if I’m healthy or unwell.”

He gazed at his sleeping wife. She had stretched her head out to him, expressing in this way even while she slept the anxious tenderness of love. Pauline seemed to look at him as she lay with her face turned towards him in an attitude as full of grace as a young child’s, with her pretty, half-opened mouth held out towards him, as she drew her light, even breath. Her little pearly teeth seemed to heighten the redness of the fresh lips with the smile hovering over them. The red glow in her complexion was brighter, and its whiteness was, so to speak, whiter still just then than in the most impassioned moments of the waking day. In her unconstrained grace, as she lay, so full of believing trust, the adorable attractions of childhood were added to the enchantments of love.

He looked at his sleeping wife. She had leaned her head towards him, showing even in her sleep the anxious tenderness of love. Pauline seemed to gaze at him as she lay with her face turned towards him, her position as graceful as a young child's, with her pretty, slightly opened mouth directed at him as she took her light, even breaths. Her little pearly teeth seemed to make her fresh lips appear even redder with the smile lingering on them. The red glow in her complexion was brighter, and it seemed whiter than ever in that moment, even more so than during the most passionate moments of the day. In her relaxed grace, lying there full of trusting innocence, the delightful charms of childhood were blended with the enchantments of love.

Even the most unaffected women still obey certain social conventions, which restrain the free expansion of the soul within them during their waking hours; but slumber seems to give them back the spontaneity of life which makes infancy lovely. Pauline blushed for nothing; she was like one of those beloved and heavenly beings, in whom reason has not yet put motives into their actions and mystery into their glances. Her profile stood out in sharp relief against the fine cambric of the pillows; there was a certain sprightliness about her loose hair in confusion, mingled with the deep lace ruffles; but she was sleeping in happiness, her long lashes were tightly pressed against her cheeks, as if to secure her eyes from too strong a light, or to aid an effort of her soul to recollect and to hold fast a bliss that had been perfect but fleeting. Her tiny pink and white ear, framed by a lock of her hair and outlined by a wrapping of Mechlin lace, would have made an artist, a painter, an old man, wildly in love, and would perhaps have restored a madman to his senses.

Even the most unaffected women still follow certain social rules that limit the free expression of their souls during the day; however, sleep seems to return to them the spontaneity of life that makes childhood beautiful. Pauline blushed for no reason; she was like one of those cherished and otherworldly beings, in whom reason has not yet shaped their actions or added mystery to their gazes. Her profile stood out sharply against the fine cambric of the pillows; there was a certain liveliness to her tousled hair, mingled with the deep lace ruffles; but she was asleep, happy, her long lashes pressed tightly against her cheeks, as if to shield her eyes from bright light, or to help her soul in its effort to remember and cling to a bliss that was perfect but fleeting. Her tiny pink and white ear, framed by a lock of hair and highlighted by a wrap of Mechlin lace, could have made an artist, a painter, or an old man fall wildly in love, and perhaps even restored a madman to his senses.

Is it not an ineffable bliss to behold the woman that you love, sleeping, smiling in a peaceful dream beneath your protection, loving you even in dreams, even at the point where the individual seems to cease to exist, offering to you yet the mute lips that speak to you in slumber of the latest kiss? Is it not indescribable happiness to see a trusting woman, half-clad, but wrapped round in her love as by a cloak—modesty in the midst of dishevelment—to see admiringly her scattered clothing, the silken stocking hastily put off to please you last evening, the unclasped girdle that implies a boundless faith in you. A whole romance lies there in that girdle; the woman that it used to protect exists no longer; she is yours, she has become you; henceforward any betrayal of her is a blow dealt at yourself.

Isn't it an incredible joy to see the woman you love, sleeping and smiling peacefully under your care, loving you even in her dreams, even at the moment when she seems to fade away, still offering you those silent lips that remind you of your last kiss? Isn't it indescribable happiness to witness a trusting woman, partially dressed but wrapped in her love like a cloak—modesty amidst the chaos—to see her clothes scattered around, the silky stockings she took off in a hurry to please you last night, the undone belt that shows her complete faith in you? A whole romance is captured in that belt; the woman it used to shelter is gone; she is yours, she has become you; from now on, any betrayal of her feels like a blow to yourself.

In this softened mood Raphael’s eyes wandered over the room, now filled with memories and love, and where the very daylight seemed to take delightful hues. Then he turned his gaze at last upon the outlines of the woman’s form, upon youth and purity, and love that even now had no thought that was not for him alone, above all things, and longed to live for ever. As his eyes fell upon Pauline, her own opened at once as if a ray of sunlight had lighted on them.

In this gentle mood, Raphael's eyes roamed around the room, now filled with memories and love, where the daylight seemed to brighten with beautiful colors. Then he finally focused on the shape of the woman, on youth and innocence, and on a love that even now had no thoughts except for him above everything else, and yearned to last forever. As his gaze landed on Pauline, her eyes opened immediately as if a ray of sunlight had touched them.

“Good-morning,” she said, smiling. “How handsome you are, bad man!”

“Good morning,” she said, smiling. “You look so handsome, you naughty man!”

The grace of love and youth, of silence and dawn, shone in their faces, making a divine picture, with the fleeting spell over it all that belongs only to the earliest days of passion, just as simplicity and artlessness are the peculiar possession of childhood. Alas! love’s springtide joys, like our own youthful laughter, must even take flight, and live for us no longer save in memory; either for our despair, or to shed some soothing fragrance over us, according to the bent of our inmost thoughts.

The beauty of love and youth, of quiet moments and dawn, glowed on their faces, creating a stunning image, with a fleeting magic that belongs only to the beginnings of passion, much like the innocence and simplicity unique to childhood. Sadly, the joys of love in its prime, just like our youthful laughter, must eventually disappear, living on only in our memories; either bringing us sadness or offering a comforting presence, depending on how we choose to think about it.

“What made me wake you?” said Raphael. “It was so great a pleasure to watch you sleeping that it brought tears to my eyes.”

“What made me wake you?” Raphael asked. “It was such a joy to watch you sleep that it brought tears to my eyes.”

“And to mine, too,” she answered. “I cried in the night while I watched you sleeping, but not with happiness. Raphael, dear, pray listen to me. Your breathing is labored while you sleep, and something rattles in your chest that frightens me. You have a little dry cough when you are asleep, exactly like my father’s, who is dying of phthisis. In those sounds from your lungs I recognized some of the peculiar symptoms of that complaint. Then you are feverish; I know you are; your hand was moist and burning——Darling, you are young,” she added with a shudder, “and you could still get over it if unfortunately——But, no,” she cried cheerfully, “there is no ‘unfortunately,’ the disease is contagious, so the doctors say.”

“And to mine, too,” she replied. “I cried at night while I watched you sleep, but not out of happiness. Raphael, dear, please listen to me. Your breathing is heavy while you sleep, and there’s something rattling in your chest that scares me. You have a little dry cough when you’re asleep, just like my father’s, who is dying from tuberculosis. In those sounds from your lungs, I recognized some of the specific signs of that illness. You’re feverish; I know you are; your hand was warm and sweaty—Darling, you’re young,” she added with a shiver, “and you could still get through it if unfortunately—But, no,” she exclaimed cheerfully, “there is no ‘unfortunately,’ the disease is contagious, that’s what the doctors say.”

She flung both arms about Raphael, drawing in his breath through one of those kisses in which the soul reaches its end.

She wrapped both arms around Raphael, pulling him in with one of those kisses that feels like the soul is reaching its peak.

“I do not wish to live to old age,” she said. “Let us both die young, and go to heaven while flowers fill our hands.”

“I don’t want to live to be old,” she said. “Let’s both die young and go to heaven while flowers fill our hands.”

“We always make such designs as those when we are well and strong,” Raphael replied, burying his hands in Pauline’s hair. But even then a horrible fit of coughing came on, one of those deep ominous coughs that seem to come from the depths of the tomb, a cough that leaves the sufferer ghastly pale, trembling, and perspiring; with aching sides and quivering nerves, with a feeling of weariness pervading the very marrow of the spine, and unspeakable languor in every vein. Raphael slowly laid himself down, pale, exhausted, and overcome, like a man who has spent all the strength in him over one final effort. Pauline’s eyes, grown large with terror, were fixed upon him; she lay quite motionless, pale, and silent.

“We always create designs like these when we feel strong and healthy,” Raphael said, burying his hands in Pauline’s hair. But just then, a terrible fit of coughing hit him, one of those deep, foreboding coughs that seem to rise from the grave, leaving the person pale, trembling, and sweating; with aching sides and shaking nerves, engulfed by a weariness that seeps into the very bones and an unbearable weakness in every vein. Raphael slowly lay down, pale, exhausted, and overwhelmed, like someone who has given everything they have in one last effort. Pauline’s eyes, wide with fear, were locked on him; she lay completely still, pale, and silent.

“Let us commit no more follies, my angel,” she said, trying not to let Raphael see the dreadful forebodings that disturbed her. She covered her face with her hands, for she saw Death before her—the hideous skeleton. Raphael’s face had grown as pale and livid as any skull unearthed from a churchyard to assist the studies of some scientific man. Pauline remembered the exclamation that had escaped from Valentin the previous evening, and to herself she said:

“Let’s not make any more mistakes, my love,” she said, trying to hide the terrible fears that troubled her from Raphael. She covered her face with her hands, for she could see Death before her—the terrifying skeleton. Raphael’s face had turned as pale and lifeless as any skull dug up from a graveyard for some scientist’s research. Pauline thought of the cry that had slipped from Valentin the night before, and she said to herself:

“Yes, there are gulfs that love can never cross, and therein love must bury itself.”

“Yes, there are gaps that love can never bridge, and that's where love must bury itself.”

On a March morning, some days after this wretched scene, Raphael found himself seated in an armchair, placed in the window in the full light of day. Four doctors stood round him, each in turn trying his pulse, feeling him over, and questioning him with apparent interest. The invalid sought to guess their thoughts, putting a construction on every movement they made, and on the slightest contractions of their brows. His last hope lay in this consultation. This court of appeal was about to pronounce its decision—life or death.

On a March morning, a few days after this unfortunate event, Raphael found himself sitting in an armchair positioned by the window, bathed in sunlight. Four doctors surrounded him, each taking turns to check his pulse, examine him, and ask questions with what seemed like genuine concern. The patient tried to figure out what they were thinking, interpreting every movement they made and every slight furrow of their brows. His last hope rested on this meeting. This panel was about to deliver its verdict—life or death.

Valentin had summoned the oracles of modern medicine, so that he might have the last word of science. Thanks to his wealth and title, there stood before him three embodied theories; human knowledge fluctuated round the three points. Three of the doctors brought among them the complete circle of medical philosophy; they represented the points of conflict round which the battle raged, between Spiritualism, Analysis, and goodness knows what in the way of mocking eclecticism.

Valentin had called upon the experts of modern medicine to get the final say from science. Thanks to his wealth and status, three embodied theories stood before him; human knowledge revolved around these three points. The three doctors brought with them the full spectrum of medical philosophy; they represented the points of conflict where the debate raged between Spiritualism, Analysis, and a host of other mocking forms of eclecticism.

The fourth doctor was Horace Bianchon, a man of science with a future before him, the most distinguished man of the new school in medicine, a discreet and unassuming representative of a studious generation that is preparing to receive the inheritance of fifty years of experience treasured up by the Ecole de Paris, a generation that perhaps will erect the monument for the building of which the centuries behind us have collected the different materials. As a personal friend of the Marquis and of Rastignac, he had been in attendance on the former for some days past, and was helping him to answer the inquiries of the three professors, occasionally insisting somewhat upon those symptoms which, in his opinion, pointed to pulmonary disease.

The fourth doctor was Horace Bianchon, a scientist with a promising future, the most distinguished member of the new generation in medicine, a modest and unassuming representative of a studious group that is getting ready to inherit fifty years of knowledge accumulated by the Ecole de Paris. This generation may very well build a monument using the materials gathered by the past centuries. As a personal friend of the Marquis and Rastignac, he had been caring for the former for several days and was helping him respond to the inquiries of the three professors, occasionally emphasizing certain symptoms that, in his view, indicated pulmonary disease.

“You have been living at a great pace, leading a dissipated life, no doubt, and you have devoted yourself largely to intellectual work?” queried one of the three celebrated authorities, addressing Raphael. He was a square-headed man, with a large frame and energetic organization, which seemed to mark him out as superior to his two rivals.

“You’ve been living life in the fast lane, indulging in excess, for sure, and you've focused a lot on intellectual pursuits?” asked one of the three well-known experts, directing his question at Raphael. He was a broad-shouldered man with a sturdy build and a dynamic presence, which made him seem superior to his two competitors.

“I made up my mind to kill myself with debauchery, after spending three years over an extensive work, with which perhaps you may some day occupy yourselves,” Raphael replied.

“I decided to drown myself in indulgence after spending three years on a huge project that you might take on someday,” Raphael replied.

The great doctor shook his head, and so displayed his satisfaction. “I was sure of it,” he seemed to say to himself. He was the illustrious Brisset, the successor of Cabanis and Bichat, head of the Organic School, a doctor popular with believers in material and positive science, who see in man a complete individual, subject solely to the laws of his own particular organization; and who consider that his normal condition and abnormal states of disease can both be traced to obvious causes.

The great doctor shook his head, showing his satisfaction. “I knew it,” he seemed to say to himself. He was the renowned Brisset, the successor of Cabanis and Bichat, leader of the Organic School, a doctor well-liked by advocates of material and positive science, who view humans as complete individuals, governed only by the laws of their specific makeup; and who believe that both normal conditions and abnormal states of illness can be traced back to clear causes.

After this reply, Brisset looked, without speaking, at a middle-sized person, whose darkly flushed countenance and glowing eyes seemed to belong to some antique satyr; and who, leaning his back against the corner of the embrasure, was studying Raphael, without saying a word. Doctor Cameristus, a man of creeds and enthusiasms, the head of the “Vitalists,” a romantic champion of the esoteric doctrines of Van Helmont, discerned a lofty informing principle in human life, a mysterious and inexplicable phenomenon which mocks at the scalpel, deceives the surgeon, eludes the drugs of the pharmacopoeia, the formulae of algebra, the demonstrations of anatomy, and derides all our efforts; a sort of invisible, intangible flame, which, obeying some divinely appointed law, will often linger on in a body in our opinion devoted to death, while it takes flight from an organization well fitted for prolonged existence.

After this reply, Brisset looked silently at a medium-sized person whose flushed face and bright eyes looked like an ancient satyr. Leaning against the corner of the window, he was studying Raphael without saying a word. Doctor Cameristus, a man full of beliefs and passions, the leader of the “Vitalists,” a romantic defender of Van Helmont’s esoteric teachings, saw a high and guiding principle in human life—a mysterious and inexplicable phenomenon that mocks the scalpel, deceives the surgeon, escapes the drugs of the pharmacopoeia, the formulas of algebra, the proofs of anatomy, and scoffs at all our efforts; a kind of invisible, intangible flame that, following some divinely appointed law, often remains in a body we think is doomed to die, while it departs from an organism well-suited for a long life.

A bitter smile hovered upon the lips of the third doctor, Maugredie, a man of acknowledged ability, but a Pyrrhonist and a scoffer, with the scalpel for his one article of faith. He would consider, as a concession to Brisset, that a man who, as a matter of fact, was perfectly well was dead, and recognize with Cameristus that a man might be living on after his apparent demise. He found something sensible in every theory, and embraced none of them, claiming that the best of all systems of medicine was to have none at all, and to stick to facts. This Panurge of the Clinical Schools, the king of observers, the great investigator, a great sceptic, the man of desperate expedients, was scrutinizing the Magic Skin.

A bitter smile lingered on the lips of the third doctor, Maugredie, a man known for his skill but also a skeptic and a cynic, with a scalpel as his only belief. He would reluctantly accept, as a favor to Brisset, that a man who was actually perfectly healthy could be considered dead, and agree with Cameristus that someone might continue to live after apparently dying. He saw some validity in every theory but committed to none, insisting that the best approach to medicine was to have no system at all and to stick to the facts. This cynic of the Clinical Schools, master observer, great investigator, and skeptic who was always looking for desperate solutions, was examining the Magic Skin.

“I should very much like to be a witness of the coincidence of its retrenchment with your wish,” he said to the Marquis.

“I would really like to see the coincidence of its cutbacks with your wish,” he said to the Marquis.

“Where is the use?” cried Brisset.

“What's the point?” shouted Brisset.

“Where is the use?” echoed Cameristus.

“What's the point?” echoed Cameristus.

“Ah, you are both of the same mind,” replied Maugredie.

“Ah, you both think alike,” replied Maugredie.

“The contraction is perfectly simple,” Brisset went on.

“The contraction is really straightforward,” Brisset continued.

“It is supernatural,” remarked Cameristus.

“It’s supernatural,” remarked Cameristus.

“In short,” Maugredie made answer, with affected solemnity, and handing the piece of skin to Raphael as he spoke, “the shriveling faculty of the skin is a fact inexplicable, and yet quite natural, which, ever since the world began, has been the despair of medicine and of pretty women.”

“In short,” Maugredie replied, trying to sound serious while handing the piece of skin to Raphael as he spoke, “the shrinking ability of the skin is an inexplicable fact, yet entirely natural, which, since the beginning of time, has puzzled doctors and frustrated attractive women.”

All Valentin’s observation could discover no trace of a feeling for his troubles in any of the three doctors. The three received every answer in silence, scanned him unconcernedly, and interrogated him unsympathetically. Politeness did not conceal their indifference; whether deliberation or certainty was the cause, their words at any rate came so seldom and so languidly, that at times Raphael thought that their attention was wandering. From time to time Brisset, the sole speaker, remarked, “Good! just so!” as Bianchon pointed out the existence of each desperate symptom. Cameristus seemed to be deep in meditation; Maugredie looked like a comic author, studying two queer characters with a view to reproducing them faithfully upon the stage. There was deep, unconcealed distress, and grave compassion in Horace Bianchon’s face. He had been a doctor for too short a time to be untouched by suffering and unmoved by a deathbed; he had not learned to keep back the sympathetic tears that obscure a man’s clear vision and prevent him from seizing like the general of an army, upon the auspicious moment for victory, in utter disregard of the groans of dying men.

All of Valentin’s observations found no trace of any concern for his troubles from any of the three doctors. They received every response in silence, examined him without a hint of care, and questioned him without sympathy. Their politeness couldn’t hide their indifference; whether it was intentional or certain, their words came so rarely and so lazily that sometimes Raphael felt like their attention was drifting. Occasionally, Brisset, the only one who spoke, would say, "Good! Just so!" as Bianchon pointed out each alarming symptom. Cameristus appeared to be lost in thought; Maugredie looked like a comic writer, studying two odd characters to capture them accurately for the stage. There was evident, deep distress and serious compassion in Horace Bianchon’s expression. He had been a doctor for too brief a time to remain unaffected by suffering and unmoved by a deathbed; he hadn’t yet learned to hold back the sympathetic tears that blur a person’s clear vision and stop him from seizing the right moment for victory, ignoring the moans of dying men.

After spending about half an hour over taking in some sort the measure of the patient and the complaint, much as a tailor measures a young man for a coat when he orders his wedding outfit, the authorities uttered several commonplaces, and even talked of politics. Then they decided to go into Raphael’s study to exchange their ideas and frame their verdict.

After about half an hour of assessing the patient and the issue, similar to how a tailor measures a young man for a suit when he orders his wedding attire, the authorities shared some clichés and even discussed politics. Then they decided to head into Raphael’s study to share their thoughts and come up with their verdict.

“May I not be present during the discussion, gentlemen?” Valentin had asked them, but Brisset and Maugredie protested against this, and, in spite of their patient’s entreaties, declined altogether to deliberate in his presence.

“Can I be absent during the discussion, gentlemen?” Valentin had asked them, but Brisset and Maugredie objected to this, and despite their patient’s pleas, refused to talk things over in his presence.

Raphael gave way before their custom, thinking that he could slip into a passage adjoining, whence he could easily overhear the medical conference in which the three professors were about to engage.

Raphael stepped aside for their tradition, thinking he could slip into a nearby passage where he could easily overhear the medical discussion the three professors were about to have.

“Permit me, gentlemen,” said Brisset, as they entered, “to give you my own opinion at once. I neither wish to force it upon you nor to have it discussed. In the first place, it is unbiased, concise, and based on an exact similarity that exists between one of my own patients and the subject that we have been called in to examine; and, moreover, I am expected at my hospital. The importance of the case that demands my presence there will excuse me for speaking the first word. The subject with which we are concerned has been exhausted in an equal degree by intellectual labors—what did he set about, Horace?” he asked of the young doctor.

"Let me share my thoughts, gentlemen," Brisset said as they walked in. "I don't want to impose my views on you or debate them. Firstly, my opinion is objective, straightforward, and based on a clear similarity between one of my patients and the case we're here to examine. Plus, I have obligations at my hospital. The significance of the case that requires my attention there justifies my speaking first. The individual we're discussing has been equally drained by mental efforts—what did he start on, Horace?" he asked the young doctor.

“A ‘Theory of the Will,’”

“A ‘Theory of Will,’”

“The devil! but that’s a big subject. He is exhausted, I say, by too much brain-work, by irregular courses, and by the repeated use of too powerful stimulants. Violent exertion of body and mind has demoralized the whole system. It is easy, gentlemen, to recognize in the symptoms of the face and body generally intense irritation of the stomach, an affection of the great sympathetic nerve, acute sensibility of the epigastric region, and contraction of the right and left hypochondriac. You have noticed, too, the large size and prominence of the liver. M. Bianchon has, besides, constantly watched the patient, and he tells us that digestion is troublesome and difficult. Strictly speaking, there is no stomach left, and so the man has disappeared. The brain is atrophied because the man digests no longer. The progressive deterioration wrought in the epigastric region, the seat of vitality, has vitiated the whole system. Thence, by continuous fevered vibrations, the disorder has reached the brain by means of the nervous plexus, hence the excessive irritation in that organ. There is monomania. The patient is burdened with a fixed idea. That piece of skin really contracts, to his way of thinking; very likely it always has been as we have seen it; but whether it contracts or no, that thing is for him just like the fly that some Grand Vizier or other had on his nose. If you put leeches at once on the epigastrium, and reduce the irritation in that part, which is the very seat of man’s life, and if you diet the patient, the monomania will leave him. I will say no more to Dr. Bianchon; he should be able to grasp the whole treatment as well as the details. There may be, perhaps, some complication of the disease—the bronchial tubes, possibly, may be also inflamed; but I believe that treatment for the intestinal organs is very much more important and necessary, and more urgently required than for the lungs. Persistent study of abstract matters, and certain violent passions, have induced serious disorders in that vital mechanism. However, we are in time to set these conditions right. Nothing is too seriously affected. You will easily get your friend round again,” he remarked to Bianchon.

“The devil! That's a big topic. He’s worn out, I say, from too much thinking, erratic habits, and overusing strong stimulants. The intense strain on his body and mind has messed up his whole system. It’s easy to see, gentlemen, that the symptoms show significant irritation of the stomach, an issue with the sympathetic nervous system, heightened sensitivity in the stomach area, and tightness on both sides of the abdomen. You’ve also noticed the liver is enlarged and prominent. M. Bianchon has been keeping a close eye on the patient and tells us that digestion is tricky and difficult. Strictly speaking, there’s hardly any stomach left, and so the man has vanished. The brain is shrinking because he can’t digest anymore. The ongoing decline in the stomach region, which is central to life, has damaged the entire system. Consequently, with continuous feverish vibrations, the disorder has reached the brain through the nerve network, causing excessive irritation in that organ. There is a fixation. The patient is troubled by a single thought. He believes that patch of skin is contracting; it probably always has, as we’ve observed, but whether it does or not, for him it’s like the fly that some Grand Vizier had on his nose. If you apply leeches immediately to the stomach area and reduce the irritation there, which is crucial for life, and if you put him on a diet, the fixation will leave him. I won't say more to Dr. Bianchon; he should be able to understand the entire treatment along with the specifics. There might be some complications with the disease—perhaps the bronchial tubes are also inflamed; but I believe that treatment for the digestive organs is much more important and urgently needed than for the lungs. Continued focus on abstract matters and certain intense passions has led to serious problems in that vital system. However, we can still fix these issues in time. Nothing is too seriously affected. You can easily get your friend back to health,” he said to Bianchon.

“Our learned colleague is taking the effect for the cause,” Cameristus replied. “Yes, the changes that he has observed so keenly certainly exist in the patient; but it is not the stomach that, by degrees, has set up nervous action in the system, and so affected the brain, like a hole in a window pane spreading cracks round about it. It took a blow of some kind to make a hole in the window; who gave the blow? Do we know that? Have we investigated the patient’s case sufficiently? Are we acquainted with all the events of his life?

“Our knowledgeable colleague is confusing the effect with the cause,” Cameristus replied. “Yes, the changes he has observed so closely definitely exist in the patient; but it’s not the stomach that has gradually triggered nervous action in the system and affected the brain, like a crack in a window spreading outwards. It took some kind of blow to create a hole in the window; who delivered that blow? Do we know? Have we thoroughly examined the patient’s case? Are we aware of all the significant events in his life?”

“The vital principle, gentlemen,” he continued, “the Archeus of Van Helmont, is affected in his case—the very essence and centre of life is attacked. The divine spark, the transitory intelligence which holds the organism together, which is the source of the will, the inspiration of life, has ceased to regulate the daily phenomena of the mechanism and the functions of every organ; thence arise all the complications which my learned colleague has so thoroughly appreciated. The epigastric region does not affect the brain but the brain affects the epigastric region. No,” he went on, vigorously slapping his chest, “no, I am not a stomach in the form of a man. No, everything does not lie there. I do not feel that I have the courage to say that if the epigastric region is in good order, everything else is in a like condition——

"The essential principle, gentlemen,” he continued, “the Archeus of Van Helmont, is impacted in this case—the very essence and core of life is under attack. The divine spark, the fleeting intelligence that keeps the organism together, which is the source of will and the inspiration for life, has stopped regulating the daily functions of the system and the activities of every organ; this leads to all the complications that my knowledgeable colleague has so thoroughly understood. The area around the stomach doesn’t influence the brain, but the brain does influence the area around the stomach. No,” he went on, vigorously slapping his chest, “no, I am not just a stomach in the shape of a man. No, it’s not all about that. I don’t have the confidence to say that if the area around the stomach is fine, everything else is in good shape too—"

“We cannot trace,” he went on more mildly, “to one physical cause the serious disturbances that supervene in this or that subject which has been dangerously attacked, nor submit them to a uniform treatment. No one man is like another. We have each peculiar organs, differently affected, diversely nourished, adapted to perform different functions, and to induce a condition necessary to the accomplishment of an order of things which is unknown to us. The sublime will has so wrought that a little portion of the great All is set within us to sustain the phenomena of living; in every man it formulates itself distinctly, making each, to all appearance, a separate individual, yet in one point co-existent with the infinite cause. So we ought to make a separate study of each subject, discover all about it, find out in what its life consists, and wherein its power lies. From the softness of a wet sponge to the hardness of pumice-stone there are infinite fine degrees of difference. Man is just like that. Between the sponge-like organizations of the lymphatic and the vigorous iron muscles of such men as are destined for a long life, what a margin for errors for the single inflexible system of a lowering treatment to commit; a system that reduces the capacities of the human frame, which you always conclude have been over-excited. Let us look for the origin of the disease in the mental and not in the physical viscera. A doctor is an inspired being, endowed by God with a special gift—the power to read the secrets of vitality; just as the prophet has received the eyes that foresee the future, the poet his faculty of evoking nature, and the musician the power of arranging sounds in an harmonious order that is possibly a copy of an ideal harmony on high.”

“We can’t pinpoint,” he continued more gently, “one physical cause for the serious issues that arise in this or that individual who has been severely affected, nor can we treat them all the same way. No two people are exactly alike. Each of us has unique organs that are affected in different ways, nourished differently, suited to carry out distinct functions, and to create a state necessary for a kind of existence that is beyond our understanding. The sublime will has arranged it so that a small part of the greater whole exists within us to sustain the phenomena of life; in every person, this manifests distinctly, making each appear to be a separate individual, yet simultaneously connected to the infinite source. Therefore, we need to study each person separately, uncover everything about them, learn what their life consists of, and where their power lies. From the softness of a wet sponge to the hardness of pumice stone, there are countless finely graded differences. Humans are just like that. Between the sponge-like structure of the lymphatic system and the strong, iron-like muscles of those who are meant for longevity, there’s a wide margin for error in applying a uniform treatment plan; a system that diminishes the abilities of the human body, which is wrongly assumed to be overstimulated. We should seek the root of the disease in the mind, not in the physical organs. A doctor is an inspired individual, gifted by God with a special ability—the power to understand the secrets of life; just as a prophet has the foresight to see the future, the poet possesses the ability to bring nature to life, and the musician can arrange sounds in a harmonious way that possibly reflects a higher ideal harmony.”

“There is his everlasting system of medicine, arbitrary, monarchical, and pious,” muttered Brisset.

“There is his never-ending system of medicine, arbitrary, autocratic, and religious,” muttered Brisset.

“Gentlemen,” Maugredie broke in hastily, to distract attention from Brisset’s comment, “don’t let us lose sight of the patient.”

“Gentlemen,” Maugredie interjected quickly to shift the focus away from Brisset’s comment, “let’s not lose sight of the patient.”

“What is the good of science?” Raphael moaned. “Here is my recovery halting between a string of beads and a rosary of leeches, between Dupuytren’s bistoury and Prince Hohenlohe’s prayer. There is Maugredie suspending his judgment on the line that divides facts from words, mind from matter. Man’s ‘it is,’ and ‘it is not,’ is always on my track; it is the Carymary Carymara of Rabelais for evermore: my disorder is spiritual, Carymary, or material, Carymara. Shall I live? They have no idea. Planchette was more straightforward with me, at any rate, when he said, ‘I do not know.’”

“What’s the point of science?” Raphael complained. “Here I am trying to recover, caught between a string of beads and a rosary of leeches, between Dupuytren’s scalpel and Prince Hohenlohe’s prayer. There’s Maugredie hesitating on the line that separates facts from words, mind from matter. Man’s ‘it is’ and ‘it isn’t’ are always chasing me; it’s the Carymary Carymara of Rabelais forever: my issue is spiritual, Carymary, or physical, Carymara. Will I survive? They have no clue. Planchette was more honest with me, at least, when he said, ‘I don’t know.’”

Just then Valentin heard Maugredie’s voice.

Just then, Valentin heard Maugredie's voice.

“The patient suffers from monomania; very good, I am quite of that opinion,” he said, “but he has two hundred thousand a year; monomaniacs of that kind are very uncommon. As for knowing whether his epigastric region has affected his brain, or his brain his epigastric region, we shall find that out, perhaps, whenever he dies. But to resume. There is no disputing the fact that he is ill; some sort of treatment he must have. Let us leave theories alone, and put leeches on him, to counteract the nervous and intestinal irritation, as to the existence of which we all agree; and let us send him to drink the waters, in that way we shall act on both systems at once. If there really is tubercular disease, we can hardly expect to save his life; so that——”

“The patient has a fixation; I completely agree with that,” he said, “but he has two hundred thousand a year; fixations like this are quite rare. As for whether his stomach issues have affected his mind or vice versa, we might only find out when he passes away. But back to the point. There’s no arguing that he’s unwell; some sort of treatment is needed. Let’s set aside theories and apply leeches to him to relieve the nervous and intestinal irritation that we all acknowledge; and let’s send him to take the waters, which will help both issues at once. If he truly has tuberculosis, we can hardly expect to save his life; so—”

Raphael abruptly left the passage, and went back to his armchair. The four doctors very soon came out of the study; Horace was the spokesman.

Raphael quickly left the hallway and returned to his armchair. The four doctors soon emerged from the study, with Horace speaking for them.

“These gentlemen,” he told him, “have unanimously agreed that leeches must be applied to the stomach at once, and that both physical and moral treatment are imperatively needed. In the first place, a carefully prescribed rule of diet, so as to soothe the internal irritation”—here Brisset signified his approval; “and in the second, a hygienic regimen, to set your general condition right. We all, therefore, recommend you to go to take the waters in Aix in Savoy; or, if you like it better, at Mont Dore in Auvergne; the air and the situation are both pleasanter in Savoy than in the Cantal, but you will consult your own taste.”

“These gentlemen,” he told him, “have all agreed that leeches need to be applied to the stomach immediately, and that both physical and mental treatment are absolutely necessary. First, a carefully prescribed diet to calm the internal irritation”—here Brisset nodded in agreement; “and second, a hygiene routine to improve your overall condition. Therefore, we all recommend that you go to take the waters in Aix in Savoy, or if you prefer, at Mont Dore in Auvergne; the air and setting are nicer in Savoy than in the Cantal, but it’s up to your personal preference.”

Here it was Cameristus who nodded assent.

Here, Cameristus nodded in agreement.

“These gentlemen,” Bianchon continued, “having recognized a slight affection of the respiratory organs, are agreed as to the utility of the previous course of treatment that I have prescribed. They think that there will be no difficulty about restoring you to health, and that everything depends upon a wise and alternate employment of these various means. And——”

“These guys,” Bianchon continued, “having noticed a minor issue with your lungs, all agree that the previous treatment I suggested was helpful. They believe there should be no problem getting you back to health, and that it all relies on wisely using these different approaches in rotation. And——”

“And that is the cause of the milk in the cocoanut,” said Raphael, with a smile, as he led Horace into his study to pay the fees for this useless consultation.

“And that’s why there’s milk in the coconut,” Raphael said with a smile as he took Horace into his study to pay the fees for this pointless consultation.

“Their conclusions are logical,” the young doctor replied. “Cameristus feels, Brisset examines, Maugredie doubts. Has not man a soul, a body, and an intelligence? One of these three elemental constituents always influences us more or less strongly; there will always be the personal element in human science. Believe me, Raphael, we effect no cures; we only assist them. Another system—the use of mild remedies while Nature exerts her powers—lies between the extremes of theory of Brisset and Cameristus, but one ought to have known the patient for some ten years or so to obtain a good result on these lines. Negation lies at the back of all medicine, as in every other science. So endeavor to live wholesomely; try a trip to Savoy; the best course is, and always will be, to trust to Nature.”

“Their conclusions make sense,” the young doctor replied. “Cameristus feels, Brisset examines, Maugredie doubts. Doesn’t every person have a soul, a body, and an intellect? One of these three basic elements always influences us more or less strongly; there will always be a personal aspect in human science. Believe me, Raphael, we don’t actually cure anyone; we just help the process. Another approach—using gentle remedies while Nature does its thing—sits somewhere between Brisset’s and Cameristus’s theories, but you really need to know the patient for about ten years to get good results this way. Skepticism lies at the core of all medicine, just like in any other science. So try to live healthily; consider a trip to Savoy; the best approach is, and always will be, to trust Nature.”

It was a month later, on a fine summer-like evening, that several people, who were taking the waters at Aix, returned from the promenade and met together in the salons of the Club. Raphael remained alone by a window for a long time. His back was turned upon the gathering, and he himself was deep in those involuntary musings in which thoughts arise in succession and fade away, shaping themselves indistinctly, passing over us like thin, almost colorless clouds. Melancholy is sweet to us then, and delight is shadowy, for the soul is half asleep. Valentin gave himself up to this life of sensations; he was steeping himself in the warm, soft twilight, enjoying the pure air with the scent of the hills in it, happy in that he felt no pain, and had tranquilized his threatening Magic Skin at last. It grew cooler as the red glow of the sunset faded on the mountain peaks; he shut the window and left his place.

A month later, on a lovely summer-like evening, a group of people who were visiting Aix met up in the Club's lounge after their walk. Raphael stayed alone by a window for a long time. He had his back to the gathering and was lost in those involuntary daydreams where thoughts come and go, barely forming, drifting over us like pale, almost colorless clouds. Melancholy feels sweet to us then, and joy is faint, as the soul is half asleep. Valentin immersed himself in this sensory experience; he soaked in the warm, soft twilight, savoring the fresh air filled with the scent of the hills, content that he felt no pain and had finally calmed his troubling Magic Skin. As the red hues of the sunset faded on the mountain peaks, he closed the window and left his spot.

“Will you be so kind as not to close the windows, sir?” said an old lady; “we are being stifled——”

"Could you please not close the windows, sir?" said an old lady; "we're suffocating——"

The peculiarly sharp and jarring tones in which the phrase was uttered grated on Raphael’s ears; it fell on them like an indiscreet remark let slip by some man in whose friendship we would fain believe, a word which reveals unsuspected depths of selfishness and destroys some pleasing sentimental illusion of ours. The Marquis glanced, with the cool inscrutable expression of a diplomatist, at the old lady, called a servant, and, when he came, curtly bade him:

The strangely sharp and jarring tones in which the phrase was said grated on Raphael’s ears; it hit him like an awkward comment made by a friend we want to trust, a word that exposes hidden selfishness and shatters our nice sentimental illusions. The Marquis looked at the old lady with the calm, unreadable expression of a diplomat, called for a servant, and when he arrived, said abruptly:

“Open that window.”

“Open the window.”

Great surprise was clearly expressed on all faces at the words. The whole roomful began to whisper to each other, and turned their eyes upon the invalid, as though he had given some serious offence. Raphael, who had never quite managed to rid himself of the bashfulness of his early youth, felt a momentary confusion; then he shook off his torpor, exerted his faculties, and asked himself the meaning of this strange scene.

Great surprise was evident on everyone's face at those words. The entire room started whispering to one another and turned their eyes toward the invalid, as if he had done something seriously wrong. Raphael, who had never quite managed to shake off the shyness of his youth, felt a brief moment of confusion; then he snapped out of it, focused his thoughts, and tried to understand the meaning of this strange scene.

A sudden and rapid impulse quickened his brain; the past weeks appeared before him in a clear and definite vision; the reasons for the feelings he inspired in others stood out for him in relief, like the veins of some corpse which a naturalist, by some cunningly contrived injection, has colored so as to show their least ramifications.

A sudden and intense rush jolted his mind; the past few weeks unfolded in front of him with clarity; the reasons behind the emotions he stirred in others became evident, like the veins of a body that a scientist has cleverly dyed to reveal even the smallest branches.

He discerned himself in this fleeting picture; he followed out his own life in it, thought by thought, day after day. He saw himself, not without astonishment, an absent gloomy figure in the midst of these lively folk, always musing over his own fate, always absorbed by his own sufferings, seemingly impatient of the most harmless chat. He saw how he had shunned the ephemeral intimacies that travelers are so ready to establish—no doubt because they feel sure of never meeting each other again—and how he had taken little heed of those about him. He saw himself like the rocks without, unmoved by the caresses or the stormy surgings of the waves.

He recognized himself in this fleeting image; he traced his own life in it, thought by thought, day after day. He saw himself, not without surprise, as a distant, gloomy figure among these lively people, always pondering his own fate, always caught up in his own pain, seemingly impatient with the most innocent conversations. He noticed how he had avoided the temporary connections that travelers often make—likely because they’re sure they’ll never see each other again—and how he had paid little attention to those around him. He saw himself like the rocks outside, unaffected by the gentle touches or the turbulent crashes of the waves.

Then, by a gift of insight seldom accorded, he read the thoughts of all those about him. The light of a candle revealed the sardonic profile and yellow cranium of an old man; he remembered now that he had won from him, and had never proposed that the other should have his revenge; a little further on he saw a pretty woman, whose lively advances he had met with frigid coolness; there was not a face there that did not reproach him with some wrong done, inexplicably to all appearance, but the real offence in every case lay in some mortification, some invisible hurt dealt to self-love. He had unintentionally jarred on all the small susceptibilities of the circle round about him.

Then, with a rare insight, he read the thoughts of everyone around him. The candlelight showed the sardonic face and bald head of an old man; he now remembered that he had hurt him and had never suggested he could get revenge; a little further along, he saw a pretty woman, whose lively advances he had met with complete indifference; there wasn't a single face that didn't blame him for some wrongdoing, though it seemed inexplicable, but the real offense in every case was some slight, some invisible hurt to their pride. He had unintentionally ruffled everyone's delicate feelings in the group around him.

His guests on various occasions, and those to whom he had lent his horses, had taken offence at his luxurious ways; their ungraciousness had been a surprise to him; he had spared them further humiliations of that kind, and they had considered that he looked down upon them, and had accused him of haughtiness ever since. He could read their inmost thoughts as he fathomed their natures in this way. Society with its polish and varnish grew loathsome to him. He was envied and hated for his wealth and superior ability; his reserve baffled the inquisitive; his humility seemed like haughtiness to these petty superficial natures. He guessed the secret unpardonable crime which he had committed against them; he had overstepped the limits of the jurisdiction of their mediocrity. He had resisted their inquisitorial tyranny; he could dispense with their society; and all of them, therefore, had instinctively combined to make him feel their power, and to take revenge upon this incipient royalty by submitting him to a kind of ostracism, and so teaching him that they in their turn could do without him.

His guests on various occasions, as well as those to whom he had lent his horses, had been offended by his luxurious lifestyle. Their rudeness surprised him; he had avoided giving them any more humiliations of that sort, and they believed he looked down on them, accusing him of arrogance ever since. He could sense their deepest thoughts as he understood their personalities in this way. The polished and superficial nature of society became repugnant to him. He was envied and hated for his wealth and talent; his aloofness baffled the curious; his humility appeared as arrogance to these petty, shallow people. He understood the unforgivable offense he had committed against them; he had crossed the boundaries of their mediocrity. He had resisted their invasive scrutiny; he could live without their company; and so, they all instinctively banded together to assert their power over him, seeking revenge on this emerging royalty by putting him through a kind of ostracism, thus teaching him that they could manage without him as well.

Pity came over him, first of all, at this aspect of mankind, but very soon he shuddered at the thought of the power that came thus, at will, and flung aside for him the veil of flesh under which the moral nature is hidden away. He closed his eyes, so as to see no more. A black curtain was drawn all at once over this unlucky phantom show of truth; but still he found himself in the terrible loneliness that surrounds every power and dominion. Just then a violent fit of coughing seized him. Far from receiving one single word—indifferent, and meaningless, it is true, but still containing, among well-bred people brought together by chance, at least some pretence of civil commiseration—he now heard hostile ejaculations and muttered complaints. Society there assembled disdained any pantomime on his account, perhaps because he had gauged its real nature too well.

He felt sorry for humanity at first, but soon the thought of the power that could be wielded so easily made him shudder as it stripped away the flesh that hides our moral selves. He closed his eyes to avoid seeing any more. A dark curtain fell over this unfortunate display of truth, but he still sensed the crushing loneliness that comes with every form of power and control. Suddenly, a violent coughing fit took hold of him. Instead of even a single word of sympathy—indifferent and meaningless as it might have been, but still a show of civil concern among well-mannered strangers—he now heard only angry outbursts and grumbled complaints. The people around him dismissed any show of sympathy, perhaps because he had understood their true nature too well.

“His complaint is contagious.”

“His complaint is infectious.”

“The president of the Club ought to forbid him to enter the salon.”

“The president of the Club should stop him from entering the lounge.”

“It is contrary to all rules and regulations to cough in that way!”

“It’s against all rules to cough like that!”

“When a man is as ill as that, he ought not to come to take the waters——”

“When someone is that sick, they shouldn't come to take the waters——”

“He will drive me away from the place.”

“He's going to kick me out of here.”

Raphael rose and walked about the rooms to screen himself from their unanimous execrations. He thought to find a shelter, and went up to a young pretty lady who sat doing nothing, minded to address some pretty speeches to her; but as he came towards her, she turned her back upon him, and pretended to be watching the dancers. Raphael feared lest he might have made use of the talisman already that evening; and feeling that he had neither the wish nor the courage to break into the conversation, he left the salon and took refuge in the billiard-room. No one there greeted him, nobody spoke to him, no one sent so much as a friendly glance in his direction. His turn of mind, naturally meditative, had discovered instinctively the general grounds and reasons for the aversion he inspired. This little world was obeying, unconsciously perhaps, the sovereign law which rules over polite society; its inexorable nature was becoming apparent in its entirety to Raphael’s eyes. A glance into the past showed it to him, as a type completely realized in Foedora.

Raphael stood up and walked around the rooms to escape their shared disdain. He hoped to find some comfort and approached a young, attractive woman who was sitting idly, planning to compliment her. But as he got closer, she turned her back and pretended to watch the dancers. Raphael worried that he might have used up his charm for the night; feeling neither eager nor brave enough to join the conversation, he left the salon and sought refuge in the billiard room. No one acknowledged him, no one spoke to him, and no one even gave him a friendly glance. His naturally thoughtful disposition had instinctively identified the underlying reasons for the dislike he evoked. This small circle was, perhaps unconsciously, following the unyielding rules of polite society; its unrelenting nature was becoming clear to Raphael. A look back at the past revealed it to him, perfectly embodied in Foedora.

He would no more meet with sympathy here for his bodily ills than he had received it at her hands for the distress in his heart. The fashionable world expels every suffering creature from its midst, just as the body of a man in robust health rejects any germ of disease. The world holds suffering and misfortune in abhorrence; it dreads them like the plague; it never hesitates between vice and trouble, for vice is a luxury. Ill-fortune may possess a majesty of its own, but society can belittle it and make it ridiculous by an epigram. Society draws caricatures, and in this way flings in the teeth of fallen kings the affronts which it fancies it has received from them; society, like the Roman youth at the circus, never shows mercy to the fallen gladiator; mockery and money are its vital necessities. “Death to the weak!” That is the oath taken by this kind of Equestrian order, instituted in their midst by all the nations of the world; everywhere it makes for the elevation of the rich, and its motto is deeply graven in hearts that wealth has turned to stone, or that have been reared in aristocratic prejudices.

He wouldn't find any sympathy here for his physical ailments, just as he hadn’t received any from her for the pain in his heart. The fashionable world pushes away anyone who suffers, just like a healthy body repels any germs of illness. Society holds suffering and misfortune in contempt; it fears them like the plague; it never has to choose between vice and trouble, since vice is a luxury. Bad luck might have its own kind of dignity, but society can diminish it and make it seem laughable with a clever remark. Society creates caricatures and hurls insults at fallen kings, claiming to have been wronged by them; like Roman youths at the circus, society shows no mercy to defeated gladiators; mockery and money are essential to it. “Death to the weak!” That’s the oath taken by this sort of elite group, supported by all nations; everywhere it works to elevate the wealthy, and its motto is deeply embedded in hearts turned to stone by wealth or molded by aristocratic beliefs.

Assemble a collection of school-boys together. That will give you a society in miniature, a miniature which represents life more truly, because it is so frank and artless; and in it you will always find poor isolated beings, relegated to some place in the general estimations between pity and contempt, on account of their weakness and suffering. To these the Evangel promises heaven hereafter. Go lower yet in the scale of organized creation. If some bird among its fellows in the courtyard sickens, the others fall upon it with their beaks, pluck out its feathers, and kill it. The whole world, in accordance with its character of egotism, brings all its severity to bear upon wretchedness that has the hardihood to spoil its festivities, and to trouble its joys.

Gather a group of schoolboys together. That will create a small society, a mini version of life itself, because it's so open and genuine; and in it, you'll always find poor, lonely individuals, pushed to some place in the general opinions between pity and scorn due to their weakness and suffering. To these people, the Gospel offers the promise of heaven in the afterlife. Now, look even lower in the hierarchy of living things. If a bird in the courtyard gets sick, the others attack it with their beaks, pull out its feathers, and kill it. The entire world, driven by its self-centered nature, turns all its harshness on the misery that dares to disrupt its fun and disturb its happiness.

Any sufferer in mind or body, any helpless or poor man, is a pariah. He had better remain in his solitude; if he crosses the boundary-line, he will find winter everywhere; he will find freezing cold in other men’s looks, manners, words, and hearts; and lucky indeed is he if he does not receive an insult where he expected that sympathy would be expended upon him. Let the dying keep to their bed of neglect, and age sit lonely by its fireside. Portionless maids, freeze and burn in your solitary attics. If the world tolerates misery of any kind, it is to turn it to account for its own purposes, to make some use of it, saddle and bridle it, put a bit in its mouth, ride it about, and get some fun out of it.

Any person who suffers mentally or physically, any helpless or poor individual, is an outcast. They might as well stay in their solitude; if they cross that line, they'll find coldness everywhere. They’ll be met with a freezing reception in other people’s looks, behaviors, words, and hearts; they’re lucky if they don’t get insulted when they were hoping for sympathy. Let the dying remain in their neglected beds, and let the elderly sit alone by their fires. Unmarried women, suffer in your lonely attics. If the world tolerates any kind of misery, it’s only to use it for its own purposes—to harness it, control it, take it for a ride, and have some amusement out of it.

Crotchety spinsters, ladies’ companions, put a cheerful face upon it, endure the humors of your so-called benefactress, carry her lapdogs for her; you have an English poodle for your rival, and you must seek to understand the moods of your patroness, and amuse her, and—keep silence about yourselves. As for you, unblushing parasite, uncrowned king of unliveried servants, leave your real character at home, let your digestion keep pace with your host’s laugh when he laughs, mingle your tears with his, and find his epigrams amusing; if you want to relieve your mind about him, wait till he is ruined. That is the way the world shows its respect for the unfortunate; it persecutes them, or slays them in the dust.

Grumpy old maids and ladies' companions put on a happy face, put up with the quirks of your so-called benefactor, and carry her lapdogs. You've got an English poodle as your competitor, so you need to figure out your patron's moods, entertain her, and—keep your own lives to yourselves. And as for you, shameless freeloader, the unrecognized king of unacknowledged servants, leave your true self at home, make sure your stomach settles with your host’s laughter, share his tears, and find his witty remarks enjoyable; if you really need to vent about him, wait until he hits rock bottom. That’s how the world shows respect for the unfortunate; it either harasses them or crushes them down.

Such thoughts as these welled up in Raphael’s heart with the suddenness of poetic inspiration. He looked around him, and felt the influence of the forbidding gloom that society breathes out in order to rid itself of the unfortunate; it nipped his soul more effectually than the east wind grips the body in December. He locked his arms over his chest, set his back against the wall, and fell into a deep melancholy. He mused upon the meagre happiness that this depressing way of living can give. What did it amount to? Amusement with no pleasure in it, gaiety without gladness, joyless festivity, fevered dreams empty of all delight, firewood or ashes on the hearth without a spark of flame in them. When he raised his head, he found himself alone, all the billiard players had gone.

Such thoughts flooded Raphael’s heart like a sudden burst of inspiration. He looked around and felt the heavy gloom that society exudes to dismiss the unfortunate; it gripped his soul more tightly than the cold east wind grips the body in December. He crossed his arms over his chest, leaned against the wall, and sank into deep melancholy. He reflected on the meager happiness that this bleak lifestyle could offer. What did it really amount to? Entertainment without any enjoyment, cheerfulness without real joy, joyless celebrations, restless dreams devoid of all delight, firewood or ashes on the hearth without a single spark of flame. When he lifted his head, he realized he was alone; all the billiard players had left.

“I have only to let them know my power to make them worship my coughing fits,” he said to himself, and wrapped himself against the world in the cloak of his contempt.

“I just have to show them my power to make them worship my coughing fits,” he thought to himself, wrapping himself in his cloak of contempt to shield himself from the world.

Next day the resident doctor came to call upon him, and took an anxious interest in his health. Raphael felt a thrill of joy at the friendly words addressed to him. The doctor’s face, to his thinking, wore an expression that was kind and pleasant; the pale curls of his wig seemed redolent of philanthropy; the square cut of his coat, the loose folds of his trousers, his big Quaker-like shoes, everything about him down to the powder shaken from his queue and dusted in a circle upon his slightly stooping shoulders, revealed an apostolic nature, and spoke of Christian charity and of the self-sacrifice of a man, who, out of sheer devotion to his patients, had compelled himself to learn to play whist and tric-trac so well that he never lost money to any of them.

The next day, the resident doctor came to check on him and showed a genuine interest in his health. Raphael felt a rush of joy from the kind words directed at him. In his eyes, the doctor's face wore a kind and pleasant expression; the pale curls of his wig seemed to embody compassion; the tailored fit of his coat, the relaxed drape of his trousers, his large Quaker-like shoes—everything about him, even the powder shaken from his queue and dusted on his slightly stooped shoulders, revealed a dedicated nature and spoke of kindness and the selflessness of a man who, out of pure devotion to his patients, had forced himself to learn to play whist and tric-trac so well that he never lost money to any of them.

“My Lord Marquis,” said he, after a long talk with Raphael, “I can dispel your uneasiness beyond all doubt. I know your constitution well enough by this time to assure you that the doctors in Paris, whose great abilities I know, are mistaken as to the nature of your complaint. You can live as long as Methuselah, my Lord Marquis, accidents only excepted. Your lungs are as sound as a blacksmith’s bellows, your stomach would put an ostrich to the blush; but if you persist in living at high altitude, you are running the risk of a prompt interment in consecrated soil. A few words, my Lord Marquis, will make my meaning clear to you.

“Lord Marquis,” he said, after a long conversation with Raphael, “I can definitely ease your worries. I know your health well enough by now to assure you that the doctors in Paris, whose skills I respect, are wrong about your condition. You could live as long as Methuselah, Lord Marquis, accidents aside. Your lungs are as strong as a blacksmith's bellows, and your stomach could make an ostrich jealous; however, if you keep living at high altitude, you risk an early burial in consecrated ground. A few words, Lord Marquis, will clarify my meaning for you.”

“Chemistry,” he began, “has shown us that man’s breathing is a real process of combustion, and the intensity of its action varies according to the abundance or scarcity of the phlogistic element stored up by the organism of each individual. In your case, the phlogistic, or inflammatory element is abundant; if you will permit me to put it so, you generate superfluous oxygen, possessing as you do the inflammatory temperament of a man destined to experience strong emotions. While you breath the keen, pure air that stimulates life in men of lymphatic constitution, you are accelerating an expenditure of vitality already too rapid. One of the conditions for existence for you is the heavier atmosphere of the plains and valleys. Yes, the vital air for a man consumed by his genius lies in the fertile pasture-lands of Germany, at Toplitz or Baden-Baden. If England is not obnoxious to you, its misty climate would reduce your fever; but the situation of our baths, a thousand feet above the level of the Mediterranean, is dangerous for you. That is my opinion at least,” he said, with a deprecatory gesture, “and I give it in opposition to our interests, for, if you act upon it, we shall unfortunately lose you.”

“Chemistry,” he began, “has shown us that breathing is a real process of combustion, and how intensely it works depends on how much of the phlogistic element is stored up in each person’s body. In your case, the phlogistic, or inflammatory element is abundant; if I may say so, you produce too much oxygen, given your inflammatory temperament that makes you prone to intense emotions. While you breathe in the sharp, clean air that energizes people with a lymphatic constitution, you’re actually using up your vitality at an already rapid rate. One of the things you need to survive is the heavier atmosphere found in plains and valleys. The vital air for someone driven by genius like you is in the fertile pastures of Germany, like Toplitz or Baden-Baden. If England isn’t too unpleasant for you, its foggy weather could help ease your condition; but the altitude of our baths, a thousand feet above sea level, is risky for you. That’s just my opinion,” he said with a dismissive gesture, “and I offer it even though it goes against our interests, because if you take my advice, we’ll unfortunately lose you.”

But for these closing words of his, the affable doctor’s seeming good-nature would have completely won Raphael over; but he was too profoundly observant not to understand the meaning of the tone, the look and gesture that accompanied that mild sarcasm, not to see that the little man had been sent on this errand, no doubt, by a flock of his rejoicing patients. The florid-looking idlers, tedious old women, nomad English people, and fine ladies who had given their husbands the slip, and were escorted hither by their lovers—one and all were in a plot to drive away a wretched, feeble creature to die, who seemed unable to hold out against a daily renewed persecution! Raphael accepted the challenge, he foresaw some amusement to be derived from their manoeuvres.

But if it weren't for his final words, the friendly doctor's apparent good nature would have completely won Raphael over; but he was too perceptive to miss the meaning behind the tone, the look, and the gesture that came with that light sarcasm. He could see that the little man had been sent on this mission, most likely by a group of his cheerful patients. The flashy idlers, boring old women, wandering English folks, and elegant ladies who had slipped away from their husbands, all being accompanied here by their lovers—everyone was in on a plan to drive away a miserable, weak person who seemed unable to resist a daily onslaught! Raphael accepted the challenge; he anticipated some entertainment from their antics.

“As you would be grieved at losing me,” said he to the doctor, “I will endeavor to avail myself of your good advice without leaving the place. I will set about having a house built to-morrow, and the atmosphere within it shall be regulated by your instructions.”

“As you would be upset about losing me,” he said to the doctor, “I will try to take your good advice without leaving the area. I will start having a house built tomorrow, and the environment inside it will be adjusted according to your instructions.”

The doctor understood the sarcastic smile that lurked about Raphael’s mouth, and took his leave without finding another word to say.

The doctor recognized the sarcastic smile on Raphael’s face and left without saying another word.

The Lake of Bourget lies seven hundred feet above the Mediterranean, in a great hollow among the jagged peaks of the hills; it sparkles there, the bluest drop of water in the world. From the summit of the Cat’s Tooth the lake below looks like a stray turquoise. This lovely sheet of water is about twenty-seven miles round, and in some places is nearly five hundred feet deep.

The Lake of Bourget is seven hundred feet above the Mediterranean, nestled in a large hollow among the sharp peaks of the hills; it sparkles there, the bluest drop of water in the world. From the top of the Cat’s Tooth, the lake below looks like a stray turquoise. This beautiful body of water is about twenty-seven miles around and in some areas is nearly five hundred feet deep.

Under the cloudless sky, in your boat in the midst of the great expanse of water, with only the sound of the oars in your ears, only the vague outline of the hills on the horizon before you; you admire the glittering snows of the French Maurienne; you pass, now by masses of granite clad in the velvet of green turf or in low-growing shrubs, now by pleasant sloping meadows; there is always a wilderness on the one hand and fertile lands on the other, and both harmonies and dissonances compose a scene for you where everything is at once small and vast, and you feel yourself to be a poor onlooker at a great banquet. The configuration of the mountains brings about misleading optical conditions and illusions of perspective; a pine-tree a hundred feet in height looks to be a mere weed; wide valleys look as narrow as meadow paths. The lake is the only one where the confidences of heart and heart can be exchanged. There one can live; there one can meditate. Nowhere on earth will you find a closer understanding between the water, the sky, the mountains, and the fields. There is a balm there for all the agitations of life. The place keeps the secrets of sorrow to itself, the sorrow that grows less beneath its soothing influence; and to love, it gives a grave and meditative cast, deepening passion and purifying it. A kiss there becomes something great. But beyond all other things it is the lake for memories; it aids them by lending to them the hues of its own waves; it is a mirror in which everything is reflected. Only here, with this lovely landscape all around him, could Raphael endure the burden laid upon him; here he could remain as a languid dreamer, without a wish of his own.

Under the clear blue sky, in your boat on the vast stretch of water, with just the sound of the oars in your ears and the faint outline of the hills on the horizon ahead; you admire the sparkling snow of the French Maurienne. You glide past large granite formations dressed in the soft green grass or low-growing shrubs, then through inviting sloping meadows. There's always wilderness on one side and fertile land on the other, and both harmonies and disharmonies create a scene where everything feels both small and immense, making you feel like a humble observer at a grand feast. The shape of the mountains creates tricky optical effects and illusions of perspective; a pine tree soaring a hundred feet looks like a tiny weed, and wide valleys appear as narrow as footpaths. The lake is the only place where heartfelt exchanges can happen. Here, you can truly live; here, you can reflect. Nowhere else on earth will you find a deeper connection between the water, the sky, the mountains, and the fields. There's a soothing balm for all of life's troubles. The place holds the secrets of sorrow close, with that sorrow fading away under its calming influence; and it gives love a serious, thoughtful quality, deepening and purifying passion. A kiss here becomes something profound. But above all, it is the lake of memories; it enhances them by giving them the colors of its waves; it’s a mirror where everything is reflected. Only here, surrounded by this beautiful landscape, could Raphael bear the weight placed upon him; here he could linger as a gentle dreamer, without a single desire of his own.

He went out upon the lake after the doctor’s visit, and was landed at a lonely point on the pleasant slope where the village of Saint-Innocent is situated. The view from this promontory, as one may call it, comprises the heights of Bugey with the Rhone flowing at their foot, and the end of the lake; but Raphael liked to look at the opposite shore from thence, at the melancholy looking Abbey of Haute-Combe, the burying-place of the Sardinian kings, who lie prostrate there before the hills, like pilgrims come at last to their journey’s end. The silence of the landscape was broken by the even rhythm of the strokes of the oar; it seemed to find a voice for the place, in monotonous cadences like the chanting of monks. The Marquis was surprised to find visitors to this usually lonely part of the lake; and as he mused, he watched the people seated in the boat, and recognized in the stern the elderly lady who had spoken so harshly to him the evening before.

He went out on the lake after the doctor’s visit and was dropped off at a quiet spot on the nice slope where the village of Saint-Innocent is located. From this viewpoint, you could see the heights of Bugey with the Rhone flowing at their base, and the far end of the lake; but Raphael preferred to gaze at the opposite shore from there, at the gloomy-looking Abbey of Haute-Combe, the resting place of the Sardinian kings, who lie there before the hills like travelers who have finally reached their destination. The stillness of the landscape was interrupted by the steady rhythm of the oars; it seemed to echo the spirit of the place in a monotonous tune like the chanting of monks. The Marquis was surprised to see other visitors in this usually quiet part of the lake; as he pondered, he watched the people in the boat and recognized the older lady in the back who had spoken so harshly to him the night before.

No one took any notice of Raphael as the boat passed, except the elderly lady’s companion, a poor old maid of noble family, who bowed to him, and whom it seemed to him that he saw for the first time. A few seconds later he had already forgotten the visitors, who had rapidly disappeared behind the promontory, when he heard the fluttering of a dress and the sound of light footsteps not far from him. He turned about and saw the companion; and, guessing from her embarrassed manner that she wished to speak with him, he walked towards her.

No one paid any attention to Raphael as the boat went by, except for the elderly lady’s companion, a poor old maid from a noble family, who nodded at him, and whom he felt he was seeing for the first time. A few seconds later, he had already forgotten the visitors, who had quickly vanished behind the headland, when he heard the rustle of a dress and the sound of light footsteps nearby. He turned around and saw the companion; sensing from her shy demeanor that she wanted to talk to him, he walked over to her.

She was somewhere about thirty-six years of age, thin and tall, reserved and prim, and, like all old maids, seemed puzzled to know which way to look, an expression no longer in keeping with her measured, springless, and hesitating steps. She was both young and old at the same time, and, by a certain dignity in her carriage, showed the high value which she set upon her charms and perfections. In addition, her movements were all demure and discreet, like those of women who are accustomed to take great care of themselves, no doubt because they desire not to be cheated of love, their destined end.

She was around thirty-six years old, tall and slender, reserved and proper, and like many single women, she seemed unsure of where to direct her gaze, an expression that no longer matched her cautious, stiff, and uncertain movements. She seemed both youthful and aged at the same time, and her dignified posture reflected the high regard she had for her own beauty and qualities. Additionally, her movements were all modest and careful, like those of women who are used to taking great care of themselves, likely because they want to make sure they don’t miss out on love, their ultimate goal.

“Your life is in danger, sir; do not come to the Club again!” she said, stepping back a pace or two from Raphael, as if her reputation had already been compromised.

“Your life is at risk, sir; don’t come to the Club again!” she said, stepping back a step or two from Raphael, as if her reputation had already been tarnished.

“But, mademoiselle,” said Raphael, smiling, “please explain yourself more clearly, since you have condescended so far——”

“But, miss,” said Raphael, smiling, “please explain yourself more clearly, since you’ve gone out of your way to——”

“Ah,” she answered, “unless I had had a very strong motive, I should never have run the risk of offending the countess, for if she ever came to know that I had warned you——”

“Ah,” she replied, “unless I had a really strong reason, I would never have taken the risk of upsetting the countess, because if she ever found out that I warned you——”

“And who would tell her, mademoiselle?” cried Raphael.

“And who would tell her, miss?” shouted Raphael.

“True,” the old maid answered. She looked at him, quaking like an owl out in the sunlight. “But think of yourself,” she went on; “several young men, who want to drive you away from the baths, have agreed to pick a quarrel with you, and to force you into a duel.”

“True,” the old maid replied. She looked at him, shaking like an owl in the sunlight. “But consider yourself,” she continued; “a few young men, who want to chase you away from the baths, have decided to pick a fight with you and push you into a duel.”

The elderly lady’s voice sounded in the distance.

The elderly woman's voice could be heard from afar.

“Mademoiselle,” began the Marquis, “my gratitude——” But his protectress had fled already; she had heard the voice of her mistress squeaking afresh among the rocks.

“Mademoiselle,” started the Marquis, “I’m so grateful——” But his protector had already run off; she had heard her mistress’s voice squeaking again among the rocks.

“Poor girl! unhappiness always understands and helps the unhappy,” Raphael thought, and sat himself down at the foot of a tree.

“Poor girl! Sadness always knows and supports the sad,” Raphael thought, and sat down at the base of a tree.

The key of every science is, beyond cavil, the mark of interrogation; we owe most of our greatest discoveries to a Why? and all the wisdom in the world, perhaps, consists in asking Wherefore? in every connection. But, on the other hand, this acquired prescience is the ruin of our illusions.

The essence of every science is, without doubt, the question mark; we owe many of our greatest discoveries to a Why? and all the knowledge in the world might just come down to asking Wherefore? in each situation. However, on the flip side, this newfound awareness can shatter our illusions.

So Valentin, having taken the old maid’s kindly action for the text of his wandering thoughts, without the deliberate promptings of philosophy, must find it full of gall and wormwood.

So Valentin, seeing the old maid’s kind gesture as inspiration for his restless thoughts, without any intentional guidance from philosophy, must find it full of bitterness and disappointment.

“It is not at all extraordinary that a gentlewoman’s gentlewoman should take a fancy to me,” said he to himself. “I am twenty-seven years old, and I have a title and an income of two hundred thousand a year. But that her mistress, who hates water like a rabid cat—for it would be hard to give the palm to either in that matter—that her mistress should have brought her here in a boat! Is not that very strange and wonderful? Those two women came into Savoy to sleep like marmots; they ask if day has dawned at noon; and to think that they could get up this morning before eight o’clock, to take their chances in running after me!”

“It’s not surprising at all that a lady’s maid would fancy me,” he thought to himself. “I’m twenty-seven, I have a title, and I make two hundred thousand a year. But for her mistress, who hates water like a rabid cat—really, you couldn’t pick which one hates it more—to have brought her here by boat! Isn’t that strange and wonderful? Those two women came to Savoy to sleep like marmots; they ask if it’s morning at noon; and to think they could get up this morning before eight o’clock, just to chase after me!”

Very soon the old maid and her elderly innocence became, in his eyes, a fresh manifestation of that artificial, malicious little world. It was a paltry device, a clumsy artifice, a piece of priest’s or woman’s craft. Was the duel a myth, or did they merely want to frighten him? But these petty creatures, impudent and teasing as flies, had succeeded in wounding his vanity, in rousing his pride, and exciting his curiosity. Unwilling to become their dupe, or to be taken for a coward, and even diverted perhaps by the little drama, he went to the Club that very evening.

Very soon, the old maid and her innocent demeanor appeared to him as just another example of that fake, spiteful little world. It was a cheap trick, a clumsy scheme, a kind of manipulation typical of priests or women. Was the duel just a story, or did they really want to scare him? But these insignificant people, brazen and annoying like flies, had managed to hurt his pride, stir his ego, and spark his curiosity. Not wanting to be fooled by them, or to be seen as a coward, and maybe even intrigued by the little drama, he went to the Club that very evening.

He stood leaning against the marble chimney-piece, and stayed there quietly in the middle of the principal saloon, doing his best to give no one any advantage over him; but he scrutinized the faces about him, and gave a certain vague offence to those assembled, by his inspection. Like a dog aware of his strength, he awaited the contest on his own ground, without necessary barking. Towards the end of the evening he strolled into the cardroom, walking between the door and another that opened into the billiard-room, throwing a glance from time to time over a group of young men that had gathered there. He heard his name mentioned after a turn or two. Although they lowered their voices, Raphael easily guessed that he had become the topic of their debate, and he ended by catching a phrase or two spoken aloud.

He stood leaning against the marble mantelpiece, quietly in the middle of the main lounge, doing his best not to give anyone an advantage over him; but he studied the faces around him, subtly offending those gathered with his scrutiny. Like a dog aware of its power, he waited for the challenge on his own turf, without the need to bark. Towards the end of the evening, he wandered into the card room, moving between one door and another that led to the billiard room, glancing occasionally at a group of young men that had gathered there. He caught his name mentioned after a few turns. Even though they lowered their voices, Raphael easily figured out that he had become the subject of their conversation, and he eventually overheard a phrase or two spoken aloud.

“You?”

"You?"

“Yes, I.”

"Yes, I do."

“I dare you to do it!”

“I challenge you to do it!”

“Let us make a bet on it!”

“Let’s make a bet on it!”

“Oh, he will do it.”

“Oh, he’s going to do it.”

Just as Valentin, curious to learn the matter of the wager, came up to pay closer attention to what they were saying, a tall, strong, good-looking young fellow, who, however, possessed the impertinent stare peculiar to people who have material force at their back, came out of the billiard-room.

Just as Valentin, eager to find out more about the bet, stepped closer to listen to their conversation, a tall, strong, attractive young guy walked out of the billiard room. He had that obnoxious look that often comes from people who are backed by physical strength.

“I am deputed, sir,” he said coolly addressing the Marquis, “to make you aware of something which you do not seem to know; your face and person generally are a source of annoyance to every one here, and to me in particular. You have too much politeness not to sacrifice yourself to the public good, and I beg that you will not show yourself in the Club again.”

“I’ve been assigned, sir,” he said calmly, addressing the Marquis, “to inform you of something you don’t seem to realize; your appearance and demeanor are a source of irritation for everyone here, especially for me. You’re too polite not to put the public good first, and I kindly ask that you refrain from coming to the Club again.”

“This sort of joke has been perpetrated before, sir, in garrison towns at the time of the Empire; but nowadays it is exceedingly bad form,” said Raphael drily.

“This kind of joke has been made before, sir, in military towns during the Empire; but these days it's considered really inappropriate,” said Raphael dryly.

“I am not joking,” the young man answered; “and I repeat it: your health will be considerably the worse for a stay here; the heat and light, the air of the saloon, and the company are all bad for your complaint.”

“I’m not joking,” the young man replied. “And I’ll say it again: your health will definitely decline if you stay here. The heat and light, the air in the room, and the company are all harmful to your condition.”

“Where did you study medicine?” Raphael inquired.

“Where did you study medicine?” Raphael asked.

“I took my bachelor’s degree on Lepage’s shooting-ground in Paris, and was made a doctor at Cerizier’s, the king of foils.”

“I earned my bachelor’s degree at Lepage’s shooting range in Paris and became a doctor at Cerizier’s, the master of foils.”

“There is one last degree left for you to take,” said Valentin; “study the ordinary rules of politeness, and you will be a perfect gentlemen.”

“There’s one more thing you need to do,” said Valentin. “Learn the basic rules of politeness, and you’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

The young men all came out of the billiard-room just then, some disposed to laugh, some silent. The attention of other players was drawn to the matter; they left their cards to watch a quarrel that rejoiced their instincts. Raphael, alone among this hostile crowd, did his best to keep cool, and not to put himself in any way in the wrong; but his adversary having ventured a sarcasm containing an insult couched in unusually keen language, he replied gravely:

The young men all came out of the billiard room at that moment, some ready to laugh, while others were quiet. Other players noticed the situation; they set aside their cards to watch a conflict that thrilled them. Raphael, the only one trying to stay calm among this unfriendly crowd, did his best not to seem in the wrong. But when his opponent made a sarcastic remark that included a sharp insult, he responded seriously:

“We cannot box men’s ears, sir, in these days, but I am at a loss for any word by which to stigmatize such cowardly behavior as yours.”

“We can't slap people around anymore, sir, but I'm struggling to find a word that accurately describes such cowardly behavior as yours.”

“That’s enough, that’s enough. You can come to an explanation to-morrow,” several young men exclaimed, interposing between the two champions.

"That's enough, that's enough. You can explain tomorrow," several young men shouted, stepping in between the two fighters.

Raphael left the room in the character of aggressor, after he had accepted a proposal to meet near the Chateau de Bordeau, in a little sloping meadow, not very far from the newly made road, by which the man who came off victorious could reach Lyons. Raphael must now either take to his bed or leave the baths. The visitors had gained their point. At eight o’clock next morning his antagonist, followed by two seconds and a surgeon, arrived first on the ground.

Raphael left the room as the aggressor after he agreed to meet near the Chateau de Bordeau, in a small sloping meadow not far from the newly made road, which the victor could take to reach Lyons. Raphael now had to either go to bed or leave the baths. The visitors had achieved their goal. At eight o’clock the next morning, his opponent arrived first at the location, followed by two seconds and a surgeon.

“We shall do very nicely here; glorious weather for a duel!” he cried gaily, looking at the blue vault of sky above, at the waters of the lake, and the rocks, without a single melancholy presentiment or doubt of the issue. “If I wing him,” he went on, “I shall send him to bed for a month; eh, doctor?”

“We're going to be just fine here; perfect weather for a duel!” he exclaimed cheerfully, gazing at the clear blue sky above, at the waters of the lake, and the rocks, without a hint of sadness or doubt about the outcome. “If I hit him,” he continued, “I'll put him out of commission for a month; right, doctor?”

“At the very least,” the surgeon replied; “but let that willow twig alone, or you will weary your wrist, and then you will not fire steadily. You might kill your man instead of wounding him.”

“At the very least,” the surgeon replied; “but leave that willow twig alone, or you’ll tire out your wrist, and then you won’t shoot steadily. You might end up killing your target instead of just wounding him.”

The noise of a carriage was heard approaching.

The sound of a carriage was heard coming closer.

“Here he is,” said the seconds, who soon descried a caleche coming along the road; it was drawn by four horses, and there were two postilions.

“Here he is,” said the seconds, who soon spotted a carriage coming down the road; it was pulled by four horses, and there were two drivers.

“What a queer proceeding!” said Valentin’s antagonist; “here he comes post-haste to be shot.”

“What a strange situation!” said Valentin’s opponent; “here he comes rushing in to get shot.”

The slightest incident about a duel, as about a stake at cards, makes an impression on the minds of those deeply concerned in the results of the affair; so the young man awaited the arrival of the carriage with a kind of uneasiness. It stopped in the road; old Jonathan laboriously descended from it, in the first place, to assist Raphael to alight; he supported him with his feeble arms, and showed him all the minute attentions that a lover lavishes upon his mistress. Both became lost to sight in the footpath that lay between the highroad and the field where the duel was to take place; they were walking slowly, and did not appear again for some time after. The four onlookers at this strange spectacle felt deeply moved by the sight of Valentin as he leaned on his servant’s arm; he was wasted and pale; he limped as if he had the gout, went with his head bowed down, and said not a word. You might have taken them for a couple of old men, one broken with years, the other worn out with thought; the elder bore his age visibly written in his white hair, the younger was of no age.

The smallest incident about a duel, like a bet in cards, leaves a mark on the minds of those invested in the outcome; so the young man waited for the carriage's arrival with a kind of unease. It stopped in the road; old Jonathan struggled to get out first to help Raphael step down; he supported him with his frail arms, giving him all the little attentions that a lover shows to his partner. They both disappeared into the path that led from the highway to the field where the duel was set to happen; they were walking slowly and didn’t reappear for a while. The four bystanders watching this unusual scene were deeply affected by the sight of Valentin leaning on his servant's arm; he looked weak and pale; he limped as if he had gout, walked with his head down, and didn't say a word. You might have mistaken them for a couple of old men, one broken by age, the other worn out by worry; the elder had his age clearly marked by his white hair, while the younger appeared ageless.

“I have not slept all night, sir;” so Raphael greeted his antagonist.

“I haven't slept all night, sir,” Raphael said as he greeted his opponent.

The icy tone and terrible glance that went with the words made the real aggressor shudder; he know that he was in the wrong, and felt in secret ashamed of his behavior. There was something strange in Raphael’s bearing, tone, and gesture; the Marquis stopped, and every one else was likewise silent. The uneasy and constrained feeling grew to a height.

The cold tone and harsh look that accompanied the words made the real aggressor shiver; he knew he was in the wrong and secretly felt ashamed of his actions. There was something odd about Raphael’s demeanor, voice, and gestures; the Marquis paused, and everyone else fell silent too. The tense and uncomfortable feeling intensified.

“There is yet time,” he went on, “to offer me some slight apology; and offer it you must, or you will die sir! You rely even now on your dexterity, and do not shrink from an encounter in which you believe all the advantage to be upon your side. Very good, sir; I am generous, I am letting you know my superiority beforehand. I possess a terrible power. I have only to wish to do so, and I can neutralize your skill, dim your eyesight, make your hand and pulse unsteady, and even kill you outright. I have no wish to be compelled to exercise my power; the use of it costs me too dear. You would not be the only one to die. So if you refuse to apologize to me, not matter what your experience in murder, your ball will go into the waterfall there, and mine will speed straight to your heart though I do not aim it at you.”

“There’s still time,” he continued, “to give me a little apology; and you have to give it, or you will die, sir! You still count on your skill, and you’re not backing down from a fight where you think you have the upper hand. Fine, sir; I’m being generous by letting you know I’m better than you. I have a devastating power. All I have to do is wish it, and I can nullify your skill, blur your vision, make your hand and pulse shaky, and even kill you instantly. I don’t want to have to use my power; it takes too much out of me. You wouldn’t be the only one to die. So if you choose not to apologize to me, no matter how experienced you are in murder, your bullet will go into that waterfall, and mine will fly straight to your heart even though I’m not aiming at you.”

Confused voices interrupted Raphael at this point. All the time that he was speaking, the Marquis had kept his intolerably keen gaze fixed upon his antagonist; now he drew himself up and showed an impassive face, like that of a dangerous madman.

Confused voices interrupted Raphael at this point. Throughout his speech, the Marquis had kept his intensely sharp gaze locked on his opponent; now he straightened up and displayed an expressionless face, resembling that of a dangerous lunatic.

“Make him hold his tongue,” the young man had said to one of his seconds; “that voice of his is tearing the heart out of me.”

“Tell him to shut up,” the young man had said to one of his friends; “his voice is driving me crazy.”

“Say no more, sir; it is quite useless,” cried the seconds and the surgeon, addressing Raphael.

“Say no more, sir; it's completely pointless,” shouted the seconds and the surgeon, speaking to Raphael.

“Gentlemen, I am fulfilling a duty. Has this young gentleman any final arrangements to make?”

"Guys, I'm just doing my job. Does this young man have any last things to take care of?"

“That is enough; that will do.”

“That’s enough; that’s good.”

The Marquis remained standing steadily, never for a moment losing sight of his antagonist; and the latter seemed, like a bird before a snake, to be overwhelmed by a well-nigh magical power. He was compelled to endure that homicidal gaze; he met and shunned it incessantly.

The Marquis stood firm, never taking his eyes off his opponent; the latter seemed, like a bird before a snake, to be paralyzed by an almost magical force. He had to endure that murderous stare, constantly meeting it and avoiding it at the same time.

“I am thirsty; give me some water——” he said again to the second.

“I’m thirsty; give me some water——” he said again to the second.

“Are you nervous?”

"Feeling nervous?"

“Yes,” he answered. “There is a fascination about that man’s glowing eyes.”

“Yes,” he replied. “There’s something intriguing about that guy’s bright eyes.”

“Will you apologize?”

"Are you going to apologize?"

“It is too late now.”

"It's too late now."

The two antagonists were placed at fifteen paces’ distance from each other. Each of them had a brace of pistols at hand, and, according to the programme prescribed for them, each was to fire twice when and how he pleased, but after the signal had been given by the seconds.

The two opponents stood fifteen paces apart from each other. Each had a pair of pistols ready, and according to the plan they were given, each would shoot twice whenever they wanted, but only after the signal was given by their seconds.

“What are you doing, Charles?” exclaimed the young man who acted as second to Raphael’s antagonist; “you are putting in the ball before the powder!”

“What are you doing, Charles?” shouted the young man who was supporting Raphael’s opponent; “you’re loading the ball before the powder!”

“I am a dead man,” he muttered, by way of answer; “you have put me facing the sun——”

“I’m a dead man,” he muttered in response; “you’ve put me facing the sun——”

“The sun lies behind you,” said Valentin sternly and solemnly, while he coolly loaded his pistol without heeding the fact that the signal had been given, or that his antagonist was carefully taking aim.

“The sun is behind you,” Valentin said firmly and seriously, as he calmly loaded his pistol without paying attention to the fact that the signal had been given, or that his opponent was carefully taking aim.

There was something so appalling in this supernatural unconcern, that it affected even the two postilions, brought thither by a cruel curiosity. Raphael was either trying his power or playing with it, for he talked to Jonathan, and looked towards him as he received his adversary’s fire. Charles’ bullet broke a branch of willow, and ricocheted over the surface of the water; Raphael fired at random, and shot his antagonist through the heart. He did not heed the young man as he dropped; he hurriedly sought the Magic Skin to see what another man’s life had cost him. The talisman was no larger than a small oak-leaf.

There was something so shocking about this supernatural indifference that it even affected the two drivers who had come out of a morbid curiosity. Raphael was either testing his power or toying with it, as he spoke to Jonathan and looked at him while taking fire from his opponent. Charles' bullet shattered a willow branch and ricocheted across the water's surface; Raphael fired aimlessly and shot his opponent in the heart. He didn't pay any attention to the young man as he fell; he quickly searched for the Magic Skin to see what another man's life had cost him. The talisman was no bigger than a small oak leaf.

“What are you gaping at, you postilions over there? Let us be off,” said the Marquis.

“What are you staring at, you drivers over there? Let’s get going,” said the Marquis.

That same evening he crossed the French border, immediately set out for Auvergne, and reached the springs of Mont Dore. As he traveled, there surged up in his heart, all at once, one of those thoughts that come to us as a ray of sunlight pierces through the thick mists in some dark valley—a sad enlightenment, a pitiless sagacity that lights up the accomplished fact for us, that lays our errors bare, and leaves us without excuse in our own eyes. It suddenly struck him that the possession of power, no matter how enormous, did not bring with it the knowledge how to use it. The sceptre is a plaything for a child, an axe for a Richelieu, and for a Napoleon a lever by which to move the world. Power leaves us just as it finds us; only great natures grow greater by its means. Raphael had had everything in his power, and he had done nothing.

That same evening, he crossed the French border, immediately headed for Auvergne, and arrived at the springs of Mont Dore. As he traveled, a thought suddenly surged in his heart, like a ray of sunlight breaking through the thick fog in a dark valley—a sad realization, a harsh clarity that reveals the truth of our situation, exposes our mistakes, and leaves us without excuses in our own eyes. It hit him that having power, no matter how great, doesn’t mean you know how to use it. The scepter is just a toy for a child, an axe for a Richelieu, and for a Napoleon, a lever to move the world. Power leaves us just as it finds us; only those with great character become greater through it. Raphael had everything at his disposal, and he accomplished nothing.

At the springs of Mont Dore he came again in contact with a little world of people, who invariably shunned him with the eager haste that animals display when they scent afar off one of their own species lying dead, and flee away. The dislike was mutual. His late adventure had given him a deep distaste for society; his first care, consequently, was to find a lodging at some distance from the neighborhood of the springs. Instinctively he felt within him the need of close contact with nature, of natural emotions, and of the vegetative life into which we sink so gladly among the fields.

At the springs of Mont Dore, he once again encountered a small community of people who always avoided him with the quickness that animals show when they sense another of their kind dead from a distance and run away. The dislike was mutual. His recent experience had left him with a strong aversion to society; therefore, his first priority was to find a place to stay away from the springs. Deep down, he felt the need for a close connection with nature, for genuine emotions, and for the simple life we happily embrace among the fields.

The day after he arrived he climbed the Pic de Sancy, not without difficulty, and visited the higher valleys, the skyey nooks, undiscovered lakes, and peasants’ huts about Mont Dore, a country whose stern and wild features are now beginning to tempt the brushes of our artists, for sometimes wonderfully fresh and charming views are to be found there, affording a strong contrast to the frowning brows of those lonely hills.

The day after he got there, he climbed Pic de Sancy, which wasn’t easy, and explored the upper valleys, the scenic spots, hidden lakes, and the cottages of local farmers around Mont Dore. This region, with its rugged and wild landscape, is starting to attract the attention of our artists, as it often offers stunning and delightful views that stand in stark contrast to the imposing faces of those isolated hills.

Barely a league from the village Raphael discovered a nook where nature seemed to have taken a pleasure in hiding away all her treasures like some glad and mischievous child. At the first sight of this unspoiled and picturesque retreat, he determined to take up his abode in it. There, life must needs be peaceful, natural, and fruitful, like the life of a plant.

Barely a mile from the village, Raphael found a spot where nature seemed to delight in hiding all her treasures like a playful and happy child. At the first glimpse of this untouched and beautiful retreat, he decided to make it his home. There, life would surely be peaceful, natural, and fruitful, like that of a plant.

Imagine for yourself an inverted cone of granite hollowed out on a large scale, a sort of basin with its sides divided up by queer winding paths. On one side lay level stretches with no growth upon them, a bluish uniform surface, over which the rays of the sun fell as upon a mirror; on the other lay cliffs split open by fissures and frowning ravines; great blocks of lava hung suspended from them, while the action of rain slowly prepared their impending fall; a few stunted trees tormented by the wind, often crowned their summits; and here and there in some sheltered angle of their ramparts a clump of chestnut-trees grew tall as cedars, or some cavern in the yellowish rocks showed the dark entrance into its depths, set about by flowers and brambles, decked by a little strip of green turf.

Picture a large, hollowed-out granite cone, like a basin with twisting paths along its sides. On one side, there are flat stretches with no growth, a bluish surface that reflects sunlight like a mirror. On the other side, there are cliffs marked by cracks and dark ravines; massive chunks of lava are suspended above, slowly being worn down by rain, preparing for their eventual fall. A few scraggly trees, buffeted by the wind, often top these cliffs, and in some protected corner of their walls, a cluster of chestnut trees rises tall like cedars, or a cave in the yellowish rocks reveals a dark entrance framed by flowers and brambles, complete with a little patch of green grass.

At the bottom of this cup, which perhaps had been the crater of an old-world volcano, lay a pool of water as pure and bright as a diamond. Granite boulders lay around the deep basin, and willows, mountain-ash trees, yellow-flag lilies, and numberless aromatic plants bloomed about it, in a realm of meadow as fresh as an English bowling-green. The fine soft grass was watered by the streams that trickled through the fissures in the cliffs; the soil was continually enriched by the deposits of loam which storms washed down from the heights above. The pool might be some three acres in extent; its shape was irregular, and the edges were scalloped like the hem of a dress; the meadow might be an acre or two acres in extent. The cliffs and the water approached and receded from each other; here and there, there was scarcely width enough for the cows to pass between them.

At the bottom of this cup, which might have been the crater of an ancient volcano, was a pool of water as clear and bright as a diamond. Granite boulders surrounded the deep basin, and willows, mountain-ash trees, yellow-flag lilies, and countless fragrant plants bloomed around it, in a meadow as fresh as an English bowling green. The fine, soft grass was nourished by the streams that flowed through the cracks in the cliffs; the soil was constantly enriched by the loam that storms washed down from above. The pool covered about three acres; its shape was irregular, and the edges were scalloped like the hem of a dress; the meadow was one to two acres wide. The cliffs and the water drew close and then pulled away from each other; in some places, there was barely enough space for the cows to pass between them.

After a certain height the plant life ceased. Aloft in air the granite took upon itself the most fantastic shapes, and assumed those misty tints that give to high mountains a dim resemblance to clouds in the sky. The bare, bleak cliffs, with the fearful rents in their sides, pictures of wild and barren desolation, contrasted strongly with the pretty view of the valley; and so strange were the shapes they assumed, that one of the cliffs had been called “The Capuchin,” because it was so like a monk. Sometimes these sharp-pointed peaks, these mighty masses of rock, and airy caverns were lighted up one by one, according to the direction of the sun or the caprices of the atmosphere; they caught gleams of gold, dyed themselves in purple; took a tint of glowing rose-color, or turned dull and gray. Upon the heights a drama of color was always to be seen, a play of ever-shifting iridescent hues like those on a pigeon’s breast.

After a certain height, the plant life disappeared. High in the air, the granite formed the most amazing shapes and took on those misty colors that make tall mountains look a bit like clouds in the sky. The bare, harsh cliffs, with their terrifying cracks and crevices that portrayed wild and barren desolation, sharply contrasted with the beautiful view of the valley. The shapes were so unusual that one of the cliffs was named “The Capuchin” because it resembled a monk. Sometimes, these sharp peaks, massive rock formations, and airy caves were illuminated one by one, depending on the sun's direction or the whims of the atmosphere; they would catch glimmers of gold, turn purple, take on a shade of bright rose, or become dull and gray. On the heights, there was always a colorful spectacle, a display of ever-changing iridescent hues like those on a pigeon’s breast.

Oftentimes at sunrise or at sunset a ray of bright sunlight would penetrate between two sheer surfaces of lava, that might have been split apart by a hatchet, to the very depths of that pleasant little garden, where it would play in the waters of the pool, like a beam of golden light which gleams through the chinks of a shutter into a room in Spain, that has been carefully darkened for a siesta. When the sun rose above the old crater that some antediluvian revolution had filled with water, its rocky sides took warmer tones, the extinct volcano glowed again, and its sudden heat quickened the sprouting seeds and vegetation, gave color to the flowers, and ripened the fruits of this forgotten corner of the earth.

Often at sunrise or sunset, a ray of bright sunlight would slip through two sheer surfaces of lava that might have been split apart by a hatchet, reaching deep into that lovely little garden, where it would dance on the waters of the pool, like a beam of golden light shining through the cracks of a shutter into a room in Spain that’s been carefully darkened for a siesta. When the sun rose above the old crater that some ancient upheaval had filled with water, its rocky sides took on warmer tones, the extinct volcano glowed once more, and its sudden warmth boosted the growing seeds and plants, brought color to the flowers, and ripened the fruits of this hidden corner of the earth.

As Raphael reached it, he noticed several cows grazing in the pasture-land; and when he had taken a few steps towards the water, he saw a little house built of granite and roofed with shingle in the spot where the meadowland was at its widest. The roof of this little cottage harmonized with everything about it; for it had long been overgrown with ivy, moss, and flowers of no recent date. A thin smoke, that did not scare the birds away, went up from the dilapidated chimney. There was a great bench at the door between two huge honey-suckle bushes, that were pink with blossom and full of scent. The walls could scarcely be seen for branches of vine and sprays of rose and jessamine that interlaced and grew entirely as chance and their own will bade them; for the inmates of the cottage seemed to pay no attention to the growth which adorned their house, and to take no care of it, leaving to it the fresh capricious charm of nature.

As Raphael got closer, he spotted several cows grazing in the pasture. After walking a few steps toward the water, he saw a small house made of granite with a shingle roof located at the widest part of the meadow. The roof of this little cottage blended perfectly with its surroundings; it had long been covered in ivy, moss, and aged flowers. A thin stream of smoke rose from the crumbling chimney, not bothering the birds at all. There was a large bench by the door, nestled between two massive honeysuckle bushes, blooming pink and full of fragrance. The walls were nearly hidden by twisting vines and sprays of roses and jasmine, growing wildly as nature intended. The people living in the cottage seemed indifferent to the growth that adorned their home, allowing it to maintain the fresh and whimsical charm of nature.

Some clothes spread out on the gooseberry bushes were drying in the sun. A cat was sitting on a machine for stripping hemp; beneath it lay a newly scoured brass caldron, among a quantity of potato-parings. On the other side of the house Raphael saw a sort of barricade of dead thorn-bushes, meant no doubt to keep the poultry from scratching up the vegetables and pot-herbs. It seemed like the end of the earth. The dwelling was like some bird’s-nest ingeniously set in a cranny of the rocks, a clever and at the same time a careless bit of workmanship. A simple and kindly nature lay round about it; its rusticity was genuine, but there was a charm like that of poetry in it; for it grew and throve at a thousand miles’ distance from our elaborate and conventional poetry. It was like none of our conceptions; it was a spontaneous growth, a masterpiece due to chance.

Some clothes spread out on the gooseberry bushes were drying in the sun. A cat was sitting on a machine for stripping hemp; underneath it lay a newly cleaned brass pot, along with a bunch of potato peels. On the other side of the house, Raphael saw a sort of barricade made from dead thorn bushes, probably to keep the chickens from digging up the vegetables and herbs. It felt like the edge of the world. The house resembled a bird’s nest cleverly tucked into a nook in the rocks, a mix of skillful and somewhat careless craftsmanship. A simple and friendly nature surrounded it; its rustic charm was authentic, but there was a poetic beauty to it as well, thriving far away from our elaborate and conventional poetry. It was unlike any of our ideas; it was a natural creation, a masterpiece born of chance.

As Raphael reached the place, the sunlight fell across it from right to left, bringing out all the colors of its plants and trees; the yellowish or gray bases of the crags, the different shades of the green leaves, the masses of flowers, pink, blue, or white, the climbing plants with their bell-like blossoms, and the shot velvet of the mosses, the purple-tinted blooms of the heather,—everything was either brought into relief or made fairer yet by the enchantment of the light or by the contrasting shadows; and this was the case most of all with the sheet of water, wherein the house, the trees, the granite peaks, and the sky were all faithfully reflected. Everything had a radiance of its own in this delightful picture, from the sparkling mica-stone to the bleached tuft of grass hidden away in the soft shadows; the spotted cow with its glossy hide, the delicate water-plants that hung down over the pool like fringes in a nook where blue or emerald colored insects were buzzing about, the roots of trees like a sand-besprinkled shock of hair above grotesque faces in the flinty rock surface,—all these things made a harmony for the eye.

As Raphael arrived at the spot, sunlight streamed in from right to left, highlighting the vibrant colors of the plants and trees. The yellowish or gray bases of the cliffs, the various shades of green leaves, clusters of flowers in pink, blue, or white, and the climbing plants with their bell-shaped blossoms, along with the soft velvet texture of the mosses and the purple blooms of the heather—all of it was either emphasized or made even more beautiful by the magic of the light and the contrasting shadows. This was especially true for the body of water, where the house, trees, granite peaks, and sky were all vividly mirrored. Everything shone with its own light in this charming scene, from the sparkling mica-stones to the pale tuft of grass tucked away in the gentle shadows; the spotted cow with its shiny coat, the delicate water plants spilling over the pool like fringes in a corner where blue or emerald-colored insects buzzed around, and tree roots resembling a sandy shock of hair above oddly shaped faces in the rocky surface—these elements created a visual harmony.

The odor of the tepid water; the scent of the flowers, and the breath of the caverns which filled the lonely place gave Raphael a sensation that was almost enjoyment. Silence reigned in majesty over these woods, which possibly are unknown to the tax-collector; but the barking of a couple of dogs broke the stillness all at once; the cows turned their heads towards the entrance of the valley, showing their moist noses to Raphael, stared stupidly at him, and then fell to browsing again. A goat and her kid, that seemed to hang on the side of the crags in some magical fashion, capered and leapt to a slab of granite near to Raphael, and stayed there a moment, as if to seek to know who he was. The yapping of the dogs brought out a plump child, who stood agape, and next came a white-haired old man of middle height. Both of these two beings were in keeping with the surroundings, the air, the flowers, and the dwelling. Health appeared to overflow in this fertile region; old age and childhood thrived there. There seemed to be, about all these types of existence, the freedom and carelessness of the life of primitive times, a happiness of use and wont that gave the lie to our philosophical platitudes, and wrought a cure of all its swelling passions in the heart.

The smell of the lukewarm water, the fragrance of the flowers, and the breath of the caves that filled the quiet place gave Raphael a feeling that was almost pleasurable. Silence reigned majestically over these woods, which might be unknown to the tax collector; but the barking of a couple of dogs suddenly shattered the stillness. The cows turned their heads toward the entrance of the valley, showing their damp noses to Raphael, stared blankly at him, and then went back to grazing. A goat and her kid, which seemed to magically cling to the side of the cliffs, frolicked and jumped to a slab of granite near Raphael, staying there for a moment as if trying to figure out who he was. The barking of the dogs brought out a chubby child, who stood there wide-eyed, followed by a short, white-haired old man. Both of them blended perfectly with their surroundings, the air, the flowers, and the home. Health seemed to overflow in this lush area; old age and childhood thrived there. There seemed to be, in all these different forms of life, the freedom and carefree nature of primitive times, a happiness born of routine that contradicted our philosophical clichés and eased all the swelling emotions in the heart.

The old man belonged to the type of model dear to the masculine brush of Schnetz. The countless wrinkles upon his brown face looked as if they would be hard to the touch; the straight nose, the prominent cheek-bones, streaked with red veins like a vine-leaf in autumn, the angular features, all were characteristics of strength, even where strength existed no longer. The hard hands, now that they toiled no longer, had preserved their scanty white hair, his bearing was that of an absolutely free man; it suggested the thought that, had he been an Italian, he would have perhaps turned brigand, for the love of the liberty so dear to him. The child was a regular mountaineer, with the black eyes that can face the sun without flinching, a deeply tanned complexion, and rough brown hair. His movements were like a bird’s—swift, decided, and unconstrained; his clothing was ragged; the white, fair skin showed through the rents in his garments. There they both stood in silence, side by side, both obeying the same impulse; in both faces were clear tokens of an absolutely identical and idle life. The old man had adopted the child’s amusements, and the child had fallen in with the old man’s humor; there was a sort of tacit agreement between two kinds of feebleness, between failing powers well-nigh spent and powers just about to unfold themselves.

The old man fit the type that artists like Schnetz loved to portray. The many wrinkles on his sun-browned face seemed like they would be rough to the touch; his straight nose, high cheekbones, and red-veined skin resembled autumn leaves, all reflecting a sense of strength, even if that strength had faded. His tough hands, now at rest, still held onto their sparse white hair, and he carried himself like a completely free man; it made one think that if he were Italian, he might have become a bandit out of love for the freedom he cherished. The child was a true mountaineer, with dark eyes that could look into the sun without blinking, a deeply tanned skin, and tousled brown hair. He moved like a bird—quick, confident, and unrestrained; his clothes were tattered, and his pale skin peeked through the tears in his outfit. They both stood silently side by side, bound by the same instinct; both faces showed clear signs of a totally similar, idle existence. The old man had embraced the child's playfulness, and the child resonated with the old man's humor; there was an unspoken agreement between two kinds of frailty, one of diminished strength almost spent and the other just beginning to blossom.

Very soon a woman who seemed to be about thirty years old appeared on the threshold of the door, spinning as she came. She was an Auvergnate, a high-colored, comfortable-looking, straightforward sort of person, with white teeth; her cap and dress, the face, full figure, and general appearance, were of the Auvergne peasant stamp. So was her dialect; she was a thorough embodiment of her district; its hardworking ways, its thrift, ignorance, and heartiness all met in her.

Very soon, a woman who looked to be around thirty appeared at the door, twirling as she entered. She was from Auvergne, with a vibrant complexion, a pleasant demeanor, and a no-nonsense attitude, showcasing her bright white teeth; her cap and dress, along with her face, curvy figure, and overall look, were typical of an Auvergne peasant. Her dialect reflected this as well; she was a true representation of her region, embodying its hardworking nature, frugality, simplicity, and warmth.

She greeted Raphael, and they began to talk. The dogs quieted down; the old man went and sat on a bench in the sun; the child followed his mother about wherever she went, listening without saying a word, and staring at the stranger.

She greeted Raphael, and they started talking. The dogs settled down; the old man went and sat on a bench in the sun; the child followed his mother around wherever she went, listening without saying a word, and staring at the stranger.

“You are not afraid to live here, good woman?”

“You're not scared to live here, are you, good woman?”

“What should we be afraid of, sir? When we bolt the door, who ever could get inside? Oh, no, we aren’t afraid at all. And besides,” she said, as she brought the Marquis into the principal room in the house, “what should thieves come to take from us here?”

“What should we be afraid of, sir? When we lock the door, who could possibly get in? Oh, no, we aren’t scared at all. And besides,” she said, as she led the Marquis into the main room of the house, “what could thieves even want from us here?”

She designated the room as she spoke; the smoke-blackened walls, with some brilliant pictures in blue, red, and green, an “End of Credit,” a Crucifixion, and the “Grenadiers of the Imperial Guard” for their sole ornament; the furniture here and there, the old wooden four-post bedstead, the table with crooked legs, a few stools, the chest that held the bread, the flitch that hung from the ceiling, a jar of salt, a stove, and on the mantleshelf a few discolored yellow plaster figures. As he went out again Raphael noticed a man half-way up the crags, leaning on a hoe, and watching the house with interest.

She pointed out the room as she talked; the smoke-stained walls, decorated with some striking pictures in blue, red, and green, an “End of Credit,” a Crucifixion, and the “Grenadiers of the Imperial Guard” as the only decorations; the furniture scattered around, including an old wooden four-poster bed, a table with wobbly legs, a few stools, a chest that held the bread, a piece of bacon hanging from the ceiling, a jar of salt, a stove, and on the mantel, a few faded yellow plaster figures. As he stepped outside again, Raphael noticed a man halfway up the cliffs, resting on a hoe, and watching the house with interest.

“That’s my man, sir,” said the Auvergnate, unconsciously smiling in peasant fashion; “he is at work up there.”

"That’s my guy, sir," said the Auvergnate, unconsciously smiling like a peasant; "he's working up there."

“And that old man is your father?”

“And that old guy is your dad?”

“Asking your pardon, sir, he is my man’s grandfather. Such as you see him, he is a hundred and two, and yet quite lately he walked over to Clermont with our little chap! Oh, he has been a strong man in his time; but he does nothing now but sleep and eat and drink. He amuses himself with the little fellow. Sometimes the child trails him up the hillsides, and he will just go up there along with him.”

"Excuse me, sir, but he is my man's grandfather. As you can see, he is a hundred and two, and just recently he walked all the way to Clermont with our little guy! He used to be a strong man in his day, but now he just sleeps, eats, and drinks. He enjoys spending time with the little one. Sometimes the child leads him up the hills, and he happily goes along with him."

Valentin made up his mind immediately. He would live between this child and old man, breathe the same air; eat their bread, drink the same water, sleep with them, make the blood in his veins like theirs. It was a dying man’s fancy. For him the prime model, after which the customary existence of the individual should be shaped, the real formula for the life of a human being, the only true and possible life, the life-ideal, was to become one of the oysters adhering to this rock, to save his shell a day or two longer by paralyzing the power of death. One profoundly selfish thought took possession of him, and the whole universe was swallowed up and lost in it. For him the universe existed no longer; the whole world had come to be within himself. For the sick, the world begins at their pillow and ends at the foot of the bed; and this countryside was Raphael’s sick-bed.

Valentin decided right away. He would live among this child and old man, breathe the same air, share their food, drink the same water, sleep with them, and let his blood be like theirs. It was a dying man's wish. For him, the ultimate model for how a person's life should be lived, the real answer to what it means to be human, the only true and possible life, the ideal life, was to become one of the oysters stuck to this rock, to delay his shell’s demise for a day or two by staving off death. A deeply selfish thought took over him, consuming the entire universe. To him, the universe no longer existed; the whole world had become contained within himself. For the sick, the world starts at their pillow and ends at the foot of the bed; and this countryside was Raphael's sickbed.

Who has not, at some time or other in his life, watched the comings and goings of an ant, slipped straws into a yellow slug’s one breathing-hole, studied the vagaries of a slender dragon-fly, pondered admiringly over the countless veins in an oak-leaf, that bring the colors of a rose window in some Gothic cathedral into contrast with the reddish background? Who has not looked long in delight at the effects of sun and rain on a roof of brown tiles, at the dewdrops, or at the variously shaped petals of the flower-cups? Who has not sunk into these idle, absorbing meditations on things without, that have no conscious end, yet lead to some definite thought at last. Who, in short, has not led a lazy life, the life of childhood, the life of the savage without his labor? This life without a care or a wish Raphael led for some days’ space. He felt a distinct improvement in his condition, a wonderful sense of ease, that quieted his apprehensions and soothed his sufferings.

Who hasn’t, at some point in their life, watched an ant going about its business, poked a straw into a yellow slug’s breathing hole, contemplated the quirks of a delicate dragonfly, or admired the countless veins in an oak leaf that bring the colors of a rose window in some Gothic cathedral to contrast with the reddish background? Who hasn’t gazed in delight at the effects of sun and rain on a roof of brown tiles, at the dewdrops, or at the various shapes of flower petals? Who hasn’t drifted into these idle, absorbing thoughts about the world around them, thoughts without a clear purpose but that eventually lead to something meaningful? In short, who hasn’t experienced a laid-back life, the carefree life of childhood, or the untroubled existence of someone who doesn’t labor? Raphael enjoyed this carefree existence for a few days. He felt a noticeable improvement in his situation, a wonderful sense of ease that calmed his worries and eased his pain.

He would climb the crags, and then find a seat high up on some peak whence he could see a vast expanse of distant country at a glance, and he would spend whole days in this way, like a plant in the sun, or a hare in its form. And at last, growing familiar with the appearances of the plant-life about him, and of the changes in the sky, he minutely noted the progress of everything working around him in the water, on the earth, or in the air. He tried to share the secret impulses of nature, sought by passive obedience to become a part of it, and to lie within the conservative and despotic jurisdiction that regulates instinctive existence. He no longer wished to steer his own course.

He would climb the cliffs and then find a spot high up on a peak where he could see a huge stretch of land at a glance, and he would spend whole days like that, like a plant soaking up the sun or a hare in its form. Over time, as he became familiar with the plants around him and the changes in the sky, he closely observed everything happening around him in the water, on land, or in the air. He tried to connect with the hidden forces of nature, aiming to blend in by quietly following its rhythms and existing within the guiding, strict boundaries that manage instinctive life. He no longer wanted to chart his own path.

Just as criminals in olden times were safe from the pursuit of justice, if they took refuge under the shadow of the altar, so Raphael made an effort to slip into the sanctuary of life. He succeeded in becoming an integral part of the great and mighty fruit-producing organization; he had adapted himself to the inclemency of the air, and had dwelt in every cave among the rocks. He had learned the ways and habits of growth of every plant, had studied the laws of the watercourses and their beds, and had come to know the animals; he was at last so perfectly at one with this teeming earth, that he had in some sort discerned its mysteries and caught the spirit of it.

Just like criminals in the past found safety from justice by taking refuge at the altar, Raphael tried to immerse himself in the essence of life. He succeeded in becoming a key part of the vast, productive system; he adapted to the harshness of the environment and lived in every rocky nook. He learned the growth patterns and habits of every plant, studied the waterways and their paths, and became familiar with the animals; he was finally so in tune with this vibrant earth that he had, in a way, uncovered its mysteries and grasped its spirit.

The infinitely varied forms of every natural kingdom were, to his thinking, only developments of one and the same substance, different combinations brought about by the same impulse, endless emanations from a measureless Being which was acting, thinking, moving, and growing, and in harmony with which he longed to grow, to move, to think, and act. He had fancifully blended his life with the life of the crags; he had deliberately planted himself there. During the earliest days of his sojourn in these pleasant surroundings, Valentin tasted all the pleasures of childhood again, thanks to the strange hallucination of apparent convalescence, which is not unlike the pauses of delirium that nature mercifully provides for those in pain. He went about making trifling discoveries, setting to work on endless things, and finishing none of them; the evening’s plans were quite forgotten in the morning; he had no cares, he was happy; he thought himself saved.

The countless forms of every natural kingdom were, in his mind, just variations of the same substance, different combinations created by a single force, endless outflows from a limitless Being that was acting, thinking, moving, and growing. He wanted to grow, move, think, and act in harmony with it. He had playfully intertwined his life with the life of the rocks; he had chosen to settle there. During the early days of his stay in this enjoyable place, Valentin rediscovered all the joys of childhood, thanks to the strange illusion of seeming recovery, which is similar to the breaks of delirium that nature kindly offers to those in pain. He wandered around making small discoveries, starting countless projects, and finishing none of them; the evening’s plans were completely forgotten by morning; he had no worries, he was happy; he believed he was saved.

One morning he had lain in bed till noon, deep in the dreams between sleep and waking, which give to realities a fantastic appearance, and make the wildest fancies seem solid facts; while he was still uncertain that he was not dreaming yet, he suddenly heard his hostess giving a report of his health to Jonathan, for the first time. Jonathan came to inquire after him daily, and the Auvergnate, thinking no doubt that Valentin was still asleep, had not lowered the tones of a voice developed in mountain air.

One morning, he lay in bed until noon, caught in that dreamy state between sleep and wakefulness, where reality feels surreal and even the wildest imaginations seem real. While he was still unsure if he was truly awake, he suddenly heard his hostess giving Jonathan his health update for the first time. Jonathan would come by every day to check on him, and the Auvergnate, probably thinking that Valentin was still asleep, hadn’t adjusted her loud voice, which was honed in the mountain air.

“No better and no worse,” she said. “He coughed all last night again fit to kill himself. Poor gentleman, he coughs and spits till it is piteous. My husband and I often wonder to each other where he gets the strength from to cough like that. It goes to your heart. What a cursed complaint it is! He has no strength at all. I am always afraid I shall find him dead in his bed some morning. He is every bit as pale as a waxen Christ. Dame! I watch him while he dresses; his poor body is as thin as a nail. And he does not feel well now; but no matter. It’s all the same; he wears himself out with running about as if he had health and to spare. All the same, he is very brave, for he never complains at all. But really he would be better under the earth than on it, for he is enduring the agonies of Christ. I don’t wish that myself, sir; it is quite in our interests; but even if he didn’t pay us what he does, I should be just as fond of him; it is not our own interest that is our motive.

“No better and no worse,” she said. “He coughed all night again like he was going to kill himself. Poor guy, he coughs and spits to the point where it’s heartbreaking. My husband and I often wonder to each other where he gets the strength to cough like that. It’s really concerning. What a terrible condition it is! He has no strength at all. I’m always worried I’ll find him dead in his bed one morning. He’s as pale as a wax statue. Dame! I watch him while he gets dressed; his poor body is as thin as a rail. And he doesn’t feel well right now; but it doesn’t matter. He still runs around like he has health to spare. Still, he’s very brave because he never complains at all. But honestly, he’d be better off underground than above ground, because he’s going through the agonies of Christ. I don’t want that for him, sir; it’s definitely in our interests; but even if he didn’t pay us what he does, I’d still be just as fond of him; our motives aren’t selfish.

“Ah, mon Dieu!” she continued, “Parisians are the people for these dogs’ diseases. Where did he catch it, now? Poor young man! And he is so sure that he is going to get well! That fever just gnaws him, you know; it eats him away; it will be the death of him. He has no notion whatever of that; he does not know it, sir; he sees nothing——You mustn’t cry about him, M. Jonathan; you must remember that he will be happy, and will not suffer any more. You ought to make a neuvaine for him; I have seen wonderful cures come of the nine days’ prayer, and I would gladly pay for a wax taper to save such a gentle creature, so good he is, a paschal lamb——”

“Ah, my God!” she continued, “Parisians are the ones who deal with these dog illnesses. Where did he catch it, anyway? Poor young man! And he's so convinced that he's going to get better! That fever just eats away at him, you know; it’s draining him; it will be the end of him. He has no idea about that; he doesn’t realize it, sir; he sees nothing——You shouldn’t cry for him, Mr. Jonathan; you have to remember that he will be happy and won't suffer anymore. You should do a novena for him; I've seen amazing recoveries come from nine days of prayer, and I'd gladly pay for a wax candle to save such a gentle soul, he’s so good, like a paschal lamb——”

As Raphael’s voice had grown too weak to allow him to make himself heard, he was compelled to listen to this horrible loquacity. His irritation, however, drove him out of bed at length, and he appeared upon the threshold.

As Raphael’s voice had become too weak for him to be heard, he had to listen to this awful chatter. His frustration eventually got him out of bed, and he showed up at the doorway.

“Old scoundrel!” he shouted to Jonathan; “do you mean to put me to death?”

“Old scoundrel!” he yelled at Jonathan; “are you trying to kill me?”

The peasant woman took him for a ghost, and fled.

The peasant woman thought he was a ghost and ran away.

“I forbid you to have any anxiety whatever about my health,” Raphael went on.

“I forbid you to worry at all about my health,” Raphael continued.

“Yes, my Lord Marquis,” said the old servant, wiping away his tears.

“Yes, my Lord Marquis,” said the old servant, wiping his tears away.

“And for the future you had very much better not come here without my orders.”

“And in the future, you’d better not come here without my permission.”

Jonathan meant to be obedient, but in the look full of pity and devotion that he gave the Marquis before he went, Raphael read his own death-warrant. Utterly disheartened, brought all at once to a sense of his real position, Valentin sat down on the threshold, locked his arms across his chest, and bowed his head. Jonathan turned to his master in alarm, with “My Lord——”

Jonathan intended to be obedient, but in the look filled with pity and devotion that he gave the Marquis before leaving, Raphael saw his own demise. Completely disheartened and suddenly aware of his true situation, Valentin sat down on the threshold, crossed his arms over his chest, and lowered his head. Jonathan turned to his master in alarm, saying, “My Lord——”

“Go away, go away,” cried the invalid.

“Leave me alone, leave me alone,” shouted the person who was unwell.

In the hours of the next morning, Raphael climbed the crags, and sat down in a mossy cleft in the rocks, whence he could see the narrow path along which the water for the dwelling was carried. At the base of the hill he saw Jonathan in conversation with the Auvergnate. Some malicious power interpreted for him all the woman’s forebodings, and filled the breeze and the silence with her ominous words. Thrilled with horror, he took refuge among the highest summits of the mountains, and stayed there till the evening; but yet he could not drive away the gloomy presentiments awakened within him in such an unfortunate manner by a cruel solicitude on his account.

In the early hours of the next morning, Raphael climbed the rocky cliffs and settled into a mossy crevice where he could see the narrow path that carried water to the house. At the foot of the hill, he noticed Jonathan talking to the Auvergnate. Some wicked force translated all the woman's ominous feelings for him, filling the air and the silence with her troubling words. Filled with dread, he sought refuge among the highest peaks of the mountains and stayed there until evening; yet he couldn't shake the dark forebodings stirred within him by a painful worry over his situation.

The Auvergne peasant herself suddenly appeared before him like a shadow in the dusk; a perverse freak of the poet within him found a vague resemblance between her black and white striped petticoat and the bony frame of a spectre.

The Auvergne peasant suddenly appeared before him like a shadow in the dusk; a quirky part of the poet in him saw a strange resemblance between her black and white striped petticoat and the bony frame of a ghost.

“The damp is falling now, sir,” said she. “If you stop out there, you will go off just like rotten fruit. You must come in. It isn’t healthy to breathe the damp, and you have taken nothing since the morning, besides.”

“The damp is settling in now, sir,” she said. “If you stay out there, you’ll end up like rotten fruit. You need to come inside. It’s not healthy to breathe in the damp, plus you haven’t eaten anything since this morning.”

Tonnerre de Dieu! old witch,” he cried; “let me live after my own fashion, I tell you, or I shall be off altogether. It is quite bad enough to dig my grave every morning; you might let it alone in the evenings at least——”

“Goddamn it, old witch,” he shouted; “let me live my life the way I want, or I’m out of here for good. It’s already bad enough for me to dig my grave every morning; you could at least leave it alone in the evenings——”

“Your grave, sir! I dig your grave!—and where may your grave be? I want to see you as old as father there, and not in your grave by any manner of means. The grave! that comes soon enough for us all; in the grave——”

“Your grave, sir! I'm digging your grave!—but where might that be? I want to see you as old as your father over there, and definitely not in your grave. The grave! That comes soon enough for all of us; in the grave——”

“That is enough,” said Raphael.

“That's enough,” said Raphael.

“Take my arm, sir.”

"Take my arm, please."

“No.”

“Nope.”

The feeling of pity in others is very difficult for a man to bear, and it is hardest of all when the pity is deserved. Hatred is a tonic—it quickens life and stimulates revenge; but pity is death to us—it makes our weakness weaker still. It is as if distress simpered ingratiatingly at us; contempt lurks in the tenderness, or tenderness in an affront. In the centenarian Raphael saw triumphant pity, a wondering pity in the child’s eyes, an officious pity in the woman, and in her husband a pity that had an interested motive; but no matter how the sentiment declared itself, death was always its import.

The feeling of pity from others is really hard for a person to handle, especially when that pity is warranted. Hatred is energizing—it revs up life and fuels revenge; but pity is like death to us—it makes our weakness even weaker. It’s as if distress smiled at us trying to be charming; contempt hides in the kindness, or kindness hides in the insult. In the elderly man, Raphael noticed triumphant pity, a curious pity in the child's eyes, an overly eager pity in the woman, and in her husband, a pity with a self-serving angle; but no matter how the feeling showed itself, it always signified death.

A poet makes a poem of everything; it is tragical or joyful, as things happen to strike his imagination; his lofty soul rejects all half-tones; he always prefers vivid and decided colors. In Raphael’s soul this compassion produced a terrible poem of mourning and melancholy. When he had wished to live in close contact with nature, he had of course forgotten how freely natural emotions are expressed. He would think himself quite alone under a tree, whilst he struggled with an obstinate coughing fit, a terrible combat from which he never issued victorious without utter exhaustion afterwards; and then he would meet the clear, bright eyes of the little boy, who occupied the post of sentinel, like a savage in a bent of grass; the eyes scrutinized him with a childish wonder, in which there was as much amusement as pleasure, and an indescribable mixture of indifference and interest. The awful Brother, you must die, of the Trappists seemed constantly legible in the eyes of the peasants with whom Raphael was living; he scarcely knew which he dreaded most, their unfettered talk or their silence; their presence became torture.

A poet sees poetry in everything; it’s either tragic or joyful, depending on what captures his imagination. He turns away from anything half-hearted; he always opts for bold and vivid colors. In Raphael’s spirit, this compassion led to a dark poem of grief and sadness. When he longed to be close to nature, he had, of course, overlooked how openly natural emotions are shown. He would believe he was completely alone under a tree, while he grappled with a stubborn coughing fit, a fierce battle from which he never emerged victorious without feeling utterly drained afterward; then he would encounter the clear, bright eyes of the little boy acting as a lookout, like a wild child hiding in the grass. The boy’s eyes examined him with innocent curiosity, mixing amusement with enjoyment, and an indescribable blend of indifference and interest. The dreadful Brother, you must die mantra from the Trappists seemed to always be visible in the eyes of the peasants Raphael lived among; he hardly knew which he feared more, their unrestrained chatter or their silence; their presence became a torment.

One morning he saw two men in black prowling about in his neighborhood, who furtively studied him and took observations. They made as though they had come there for a stroll, and asked him a few indifferent questions, to which he returned short answers. He recognized them both. One was the cure and the other the doctor at the springs; Jonathan had no doubt sent them, or the people in the house had called them in, or the scent of an approaching death had drawn them thither. He beheld his own funeral, heard the chanting of the priests, and counted the tall wax candles; and all that lovely fertile nature around him, in whose lap he had thought to find life once more, he saw no longer, save through a veil of crape. Everything that but lately had spoken of length of days to him, now prophesied a speedy end. He set out the next day for Paris, not before he had been inundated with cordial wishes, which the people of the house uttered in melancholy and wistful tones for his benefit.

One morning, he saw two men in black lurking around his neighborhood, quietly studying him and taking notes. They acted like they were just out for a walk and asked him a few casual questions, to which he gave brief answers. He recognized both of them. One was the priest, and the other was the doctor from the springs; Jonathan must have sent them, or the people in the house had called them, or maybe the scent of an impending death had drawn them there. He envisioned his own funeral, heard the priests chanting, and counted the tall wax candles; and all the beautiful, fertile nature around him, where he had hoped to find life again, he could now only see through a shroud of mourning. Everything that had just recently promised him a long life now foretold a swift end. The next day, he set off for Paris, after being overwhelmed with heartfelt wishes, which the people in the house expressed in sad and longing tones for his sake.

He traveled through the night, and awoke as they passed through one of the pleasant valleys of the Bourbonnais. View after view swam before his gaze, and passed rapidly away like the vague pictures of a dream. Cruel nature spread herself out before his eyes with tantalizing grace. Sometimes the Allier, a liquid shining ribbon, meandered through the distant fertile landscape; then followed the steeples of hamlets, hiding modestly in the depths of a ravine with its yellow cliffs; sometimes, after the monotony of vineyards, the watermills of a little valley would be suddenly seen; and everywhere there were pleasant chateaux, hillside villages, roads with their fringes of queenly poplars; and the Loire itself, at last, with its wide sheets of water sparkling like diamonds amid its golden sands. Attractions everywhere, without end! This nature, all astir with a life and gladness like that of childhood, scarcely able to contain the impulses and sap of June, possessed a fatal attraction for the darkened gaze of the invalid. He drew the blinds of his carriage windows, and betook himself again to slumber.

He traveled through the night and woke up as they passed through one of the beautiful valleys of Bourbonnais. Scenery after scenery floated before his eyes, quickly disappearing like the hazy images of a dream. Nature displayed herself with an enticing elegance. Sometimes the Allier, a shining ribbon of water, wound its way through the distant fertile landscape; then he saw the steeples of small villages, modestly tucked away in the depths of a ravine with its yellow cliffs; at other times, after the monotony of vineyards, the watermills in a little valley would suddenly appear; and everywhere there were charming chateaux, hillside villages, roads lined with regal poplars; and finally, the Loire itself, with its wide stretches of water sparkling like diamonds amidst its golden sands. Attractions were everywhere, endless! This vibrant nature, alive with joy like that of childhood, barely able to contain the energy and richness of June, had a fatal allure for the weary eyes of the invalid. He closed the blinds of his carriage windows and returned to sleep.

Towards evening, after they had passed Cesne, he was awakened by lively music, and found himself confronted with a village fair. The horses were changed near the marketplace. Whilst the postilions were engaged in making the transfer, he saw the people dancing merrily, pretty and attractive girls with flowers about them, excited youths, and finally the jolly wine-flushed countenances of old peasants. Children prattled, old women laughed and chatted; everything spoke in one voice, and there was a holiday gaiety about everything, down to their clothing and the tables that were set out. A cheerful expression pervaded the square and the church, the roofs and windows; even the very doorways of the village seemed likewise to be in holiday trim.

Towards evening, after they had passed Cesne, he was awakened by lively music and found himself at a village fair. The horses were being changed near the marketplace. While the postilions were busy with the transfer, he watched the people dancing joyfully—pretty girls with flowers in their hair, excited young men, and the cheerful, wine-flushed faces of older farmers. Children chatted, and old women laughed and talked; everything was lively, and there was a festive spirit to it all, including their clothes and the tables that were set up. A cheerful atmosphere filled the square and the church, the roofs and windows; even the doorways of the village looked like they were ready for a celebration.

Raphael could not repress an angry exclamation, nor yet a wish to silence the fiddles, annihilate the stir and bustle, stop the clamor, and disperse the ill-timed festival; like a dying man, he felt unable to endure the slightest sound, and he entered his carriage much annoyed. When he looked out upon the square from the window, he saw that all the happiness was scared away; the peasant women were in flight, and the benches were deserted. Only a blind musician, on the scaffolding of the orchestra, went on playing a shrill tune on his clarionet. That piping of his, without dancers to it, and the solitary old man himself, in the shadow of the lime-tree, with his curmudgeon’s face, scanty hair, and ragged clothing, was like a fantastic picture of Raphael’s wish. The heavy rain was pouring in torrents; it was one of those thunderstorms that June brings about so rapidly, to cease as suddenly. The thing was so natural, that, when Raphael had looked out and seen some pale clouds driven over by a gust of wind, he did not think of looking at the piece of skin. He lay back again in the corner of his carriage, which was very soon rolling upon its way.

Raphael couldn’t hold back an angry outburst, nor did he want to mute the fiddles, eliminate the commotion, stop the noise, or break up the ill-timed festival; like a dying man, he couldn’t stand even the slightest sound, and he got into his carriage feeling very annoyed. When he looked out at the square from the window, he saw that all the joy had vanished; the peasant women were fleeing, and the benches were empty. Only a blind musician on the orchestra's platform kept playing a sharp tune on his clarinet. His piping, without any dancers and the old man himself, sitting in the shadow of the lime tree with his grumpy face, thinning hair, and tattered clothes, was like a surreal reflection of Raphael’s desire. Heavy rain was pouring down in torrents; it was one of those thunderstorms that June brings on so quickly, only to stop just as abruptly. It felt so natural that, after Raphael glanced out and saw some pale clouds being blown away by a gust of wind, he didn’t think to look at the piece of skin. He leaned back again in the corner of his carriage, which soon rolled on its way.

The next day found him back in his home again, in his own room, beside his own fireside. He had had a large fire lighted; he felt cold. Jonathan brought him some letters; they were all from Pauline. He opened the first one without any eagerness, and unfolded it as if it had been the gray-paper form of application for taxes made by the revenue collector. He read the first sentence:

The next day he was back home, in his room, next to his own fireplace. He had a big fire lit because he felt cold. Jonathan brought him some letters; they were all from Pauline. He opened the first one without much interest, unfolding it as if it were just the gray paper tax form from the revenue collector. He read the first sentence:

“Gone! This really is a flight, my Raphael. How is it? No one can tell me where you are. And who should know if not I?”

“Gone! This really is a flight, my Raphael. How is it? No one can tell me where you are. And who should know if not me?”

He did not wish to learn any more. He calmly took up the letters and threw them in the fire, watching with dull and lifeless eyes the perfumed paper as it was twisted, shriveled, bent, and devoured by the capricious flames. Fragments that fell among the ashes allowed him to see the beginning of a sentence, or a half-burnt thought or word; he took a pleasure in deciphering them—a sort of mechanical amusement.

He didn’t want to learn anything else. He calmly picked up the letters and tossed them in the fire, watching with dull, lifeless eyes as the scented paper twisted, shriveled, bent, and was consumed by the unpredictable flames. The bits that fell into the ashes let him glimpse the start of a sentence or a partially burned thought or word; he found a strange enjoyment in trying to make sense of them—a kind of mindless entertainment.

“Sitting at your door—expected—Caprice—I obey—Rivals—I, never!—thy Pauline—love—no more of Pauline?—If you had wished to leave me for ever, you would not have deserted me—Love eternal—To die——”

“Sitting at your door—waiting—Caprice—I comply—Rivals—I, never!—your Pauline—love—no more of Pauline?—If you wanted to leave me forever, you wouldn’t have abandoned me—Love forever—To die——”

The words caused him a sort of remorse; he seized the tongs, and rescued a last fragment of the letter from the flames.

The words made him feel a sense of regret; he grabbed the tongs and saved the last piece of the letter from the fire.

“I have murmured,” so Pauline wrote, “but I have never complained, my Raphael! If you have left me so far behind you, it was doubtless because you wished to hide some heavy grief from me. Perhaps you will kill me one of these days, but you are too good to torture me. So do not go away from me like this. There! I can bear the worst of torment, if only I am at your side. Any grief that you could cause me would not be grief. There is far more love in my heart for you than I have ever yet shown you. I can endure anything, except this weeping far away from you, this ignorance of your——”

“I’ve whispered,” Pauline wrote, “but I’ve never complained, my Raphael! If you’ve left me so far behind, it’s probably because you wanted to keep some deep sorrow from me. Maybe you’ll end up hurting me one day, but you’re too kind to put me through that. So please don’t leave me like this. There! I can handle the worst pain as long as I’m with you. Any suffering you might cause me wouldn’t even feel like suffering. I have so much more love for you in my heart than I’ve ever shown. I can take anything, except this crying while I’m away from you, this not knowing about your——”

Raphael laid the scorched scrap on the mantelpiece, then all at once he flung it into the fire. The bit of paper was too clearly a symbol of his own love and luckless existence.

Raphael placed the burned scrap on the mantel, then suddenly threw it into the fire. That piece of paper was too much of a reminder of his own love and unfortunate life.

“Go and find M. Bianchon,” he told Jonathan.

“Go and find Mr. Bianchon,” he told Jonathan.

Horace came and found Raphael in bed.

Horace arrived and found Raphael in bed.

“Can you prescribe a draught for me—some mild opiate which will always keep me in a somnolent condition, a draught that will not be injurious although taken constantly.”

“Can you prescribe me something—some mild painkiller that will keep me drowsy all the time, a remedy that won’t harm me even if I take it regularly?”

“Nothing is easier,” the young doctor replied; “but you will have to keep on your feet for a few hours daily, at any rate, so as to take your food.”

“Nothing is easier,” the young doctor replied; “but you’ll have to stay on your feet for a few hours each day, at least, to eat your meals.”

“A few hours!” Raphael broke in; “no, no! I only wish to be out of bed for an hour at most.”

“A few hours!” Raphael interrupted; “no, no! I just want to be out of bed for an hour at most.”

“What is your object?” inquired Bianchon.

“What's your goal?” Bianchon asked.

“To sleep; for so one keeps alive, at any rate,” the patient answered. “Let no one come in, not even Mlle. Pauline de Wistchnau!” he added to Jonathan, as the doctor was writing out his prescription.

“To sleep; that’s how you stay alive, anyway,” the patient replied. “Don’t let anyone in, not even Mlle. Pauline de Wistchnau!” he added to Jonathan, as the doctor was writing out his prescription.

“Well, M. Horace, is there any hope?” the old servant asked, going as far as the flight of steps before the door, with the young doctor.

“Is there any hope, M. Horace?” the old servant asked, following the young doctor as far as the steps leading up to the door.

“He may live for some time yet, or he may die to-night. The chances of life and death are evenly balanced in his case. I can’t understand it at all,” said the doctor, with a doubtful gesture. “His mind ought to be diverted.”

“He might live for a while longer, or he could die tonight. The odds of life and death are equal in his situation. I just don’t get it,” said the doctor, with a skeptical gesture. “He needs to have his mind occupied.”

“Diverted! Ah, sir, you don’t know him! He killed a man the other day without a word!—Nothing can divert him!”

“Diverted! Oh, sir, you have no idea who he is! He killed a man the other day without saying a word!—Nothing can distract him!”

For some days Raphael lay plunged in the torpor of this artificial sleep. Thanks to the material power that opium exerts over the immaterial part of us, this man with the powerful and active imagination reduced himself to the level of those sluggish forms of animal life that lurk in the depths of forests, and take the form of vegetable refuse, never stirring from their place to catch their easy prey. He had darkened the very sun in heaven; the daylight never entered his room. About eight o’clock in the evening he would leave his bed, with no very clear consciousness of his own existence; he would satisfy the claims of hunger and return to bed immediately. One dull blighted hour after another only brought confused pictures and appearances before him, and lights and shadows against a background of darkness. He lay buried in deep silence; movement and intelligence were completely annihilated for him. He woke later than usual one evening, and found that his dinner was not ready. He rang for Jonathan.

For several days, Raphael lay trapped in the daze of this artificial sleep. Thanks to the strong hold that opium has over our immaterial selves, this man with a vibrant and active imagination reduced himself to the level of sluggish creatures that lurk in the depths of forests, resembling decaying plant matter, never moving from their spot to catch their easy meals. He had darkened the very sun in the sky; daylight never entered his room. Around eight o’clock in the evening, he would get out of bed, barely aware of his own existence; he would eat something to satisfy his hunger and then go back to bed immediately. One dull, lifeless hour after another only brought him confusing images and shadows, with lights flickering against a backdrop of darkness. He lay in deep silence; movement and thought were completely extinguished for him. One evening, he woke up later than usual and realized that his dinner wasn't ready. He rang for Jonathan.

“You can go,” he said. “I have made you rich; you shall be happy in your old age; but I will not let you muddle away my life any longer. Miserable wretch! I am hungry—where is my dinner? How is it?—Answer me!”

“You can leave,” he said. “I’ve made you wealthy; you’ll be happy in your old age; but I’m not going to let you waste my life any longer. Pathetic fool! I’m starving—where’s my dinner? What’s going on?—Answer me!”

A satisfied smile stole over Jonathan’s face. He took a candle that lit up the great dark rooms of the mansion with its flickering light; brought his master, who had again become an automaton, into a great gallery, and flung a door suddenly open. Raphael was all at once dazzled by a flood of light and amazed by an unheard-of scene.

A satisfied smile spread across Jonathan’s face. He grabbed a candle that illuminated the vast, dark rooms of the mansion with its flickering glow; led his master, who had once again turned into a lifeless shell, into a large gallery, and suddenly flung open a door. Raphael was instantly blinded by a burst of light and astonished by an unimaginable sight.

His chandeliers had been filled with wax-lights; the rarest flowers from his conservatory were carefully arranged about the room; the table sparkled with silver, gold, crystal, and porcelain; a royal banquet was spread—the odors of the tempting dishes tickled the nervous fibres of the palate. There sat his friends; he saw them among beautiful women in full evening dress, with bare necks and shoulders, with flowers in their hair; fair women of every type, with sparkling eyes, attractively and fancifully arrayed. One had adopted an Irish jacket, which displayed the alluring outlines of her form; one wore the “basquina” of Andalusia, with its wanton grace; here was a half-clad Dian the huntress, there the costume of Mlle. de la Valliere, amorous and coy; and all of them alike were given up to the intoxication of the moment.

His chandeliers were lit with candles; the rarest flowers from his greenhouse were carefully arranged around the room; the table gleamed with silver, gold, crystal, and porcelain; a lavish feast was set — the aromas of the delicious dishes delighted the senses. His friends sat there; he saw them mingling with beautiful women in elegant evening gowns, with bare necks and shoulders, and flowers in their hair; lovely women of all types, with sparkling eyes, dressed attractively and playfully. One was wearing an Irish jacket that highlighted her alluring figure; another wore the Andalusian “basquina,” radiating charm; over here was a half-clothed Diana the huntress, and there was the outfit of Mlle. de la Valliere, romantic and shy; and all of them were completely immersed in the excitement of the moment.

As Raphael’s death-pale face showed itself in the doorway, a sudden outcry broke out, as vehement as the blaze of this improvised banquet. The voices, perfumes, and lights, the exquisite beauty of the women, produced their effect upon his senses, and awakened his desires. Delightful music, from unseen players in the next room, drowned the excited tumult in a torrent of harmony—the whole strange vision was complete.

As Raphael’s deathly pale face appeared in the doorway, an unexpected shout erupted, as intense as the glow of this makeshift feast. The voices, scents, and lights, along with the stunning beauty of the women, stimulated his senses and ignited his desires. Beautiful music from hidden musicians in the next room overwhelmed the chaotic noise with a flood of harmony—the entire bizarre scene was perfect.

Raphael felt a caressing pressure on is own hand, a woman’s white, youthful arms were stretched out to grasp him, and the hand was Aquilina’s. He knew now that this scene was not a fantastic illusion like the fleeting pictures of his disordered dreams; he uttered a dreadful cry, slammed the door, and dealt his heartbroken old servant a blow in the face.

Raphael felt a gentle pressure on his hand; a woman’s pale, youthful arms were reaching out to him, and the hand belonged to Aquilina. He realized that this moment wasn’t just a wild illusion like the fleeting images of his chaotic dreams; he let out a terrible scream, slammed the door, and hit his devastated old servant in the face.

“Monster!” he cried, “so you have sworn to kill me!” and trembling at the risks he had just now run, he summoned all his energies, reached his room, took a powerful sleeping draught, and went to bed.

“Monster!” he shouted, “so you’ve promised to kill me!” Shaking from the danger he had just faced, he gathered all his strength, got to his room, took a strong sleeping pill, and went to bed.

“The devil!” cried Jonathan, recovering himself. “And M. Bianchon most certainly told me to divert his mind.”

“The devil!” exclaimed Jonathan, regaining his composure. “And M. Bianchon definitely told me to distract him.”

It was close upon midnight. By that time, owing to one of those physical caprices that are the marvel and the despair of science, Raphael, in his slumber, became radiant with beauty. A bright color glowed on his pale cheeks. There was an almost girlish grace about the forehead in which his genius was revealed. Life seemed to bloom on the quiet face that lay there at rest. His sleep was sound; a light, even breath was drawn in between red lips; he was smiling—he had passed no doubt through the gate of dreams into a noble life. Was he a centenarian now? Did his grandchildren come to wish him length of days? Or, on a rustic bench set in the sun and under the trees, was he scanning, like the prophet on the mountain heights, a promised land, a far-off time of blessing.

It was almost midnight. At that hour, due to one of those strange physical quirks that baffle and frustrate science, Raphael, in his sleep, glowed with beauty. A bright color shone on his pale cheeks. There was an almost delicate grace to the forehead that revealed his genius. Life seemed to bloom on the peaceful face resting there. He was sleeping soundly; a light, steady breath flowed between his red lips; he was smiling—he had surely entered a realm of dreams filled with a noble existence. Was he now a hundred years old? Did his grandchildren come to wish him many more years? Or, sitting on a rustic bench in the sun and under the trees, was he gazing, like the prophet on the mountaintops, at a promised land, a distant time of blessings?

“Here you are!”

“Here you go!”

The words, uttered in silver tones, dispelled the shadowy faces of his dreams. He saw Pauline, in the lamplight, sitting upon the bed; Pauline grown fairer yet through sorrow and separation. Raphael remained bewildered by the sight of her face, white as the petals of some water flower, and the shadow of her long, dark hair about it seemed to make it whiter still. Her tears had left a gleaming trace upon her cheeks, and hung there yet, ready to fall at the least movement. She looked like an angel fallen from the skies, or a spirit that a breath might waft away, as she sat there all in white, with her head bowed, scarcely creasing the quilt beneath her weight.

The words, spoken in soft tones, chased away the dark images from his dreams. He saw Pauline, in the warm light, sitting on the bed; Pauline who had become even more beautiful through her sadness and distance. Raphael was taken aback by the sight of her face, pale as the petals of a water lily, and the shadow of her long, dark hair around it made her seem even paler. Her tears had left a shiny trail on her cheeks and lingered there, ready to fall with the slightest movement. She looked like an angel who had fallen from the sky, or a spirit that could be swept away with a breath, as she sat there all in white, with her head bowed, barely pressing down the quilt beneath her.

“Ah, I have forgotten everything!” she cried, as Raphael opened his eyes. “I have no voice left except to tell you, ‘I am yours.’ There is nothing in my heart but love. Angel of my life, you have never been so beautiful before! Your eyes are blazing—— But come, I can guess it all. You have been in search of health without me; you were afraid of me—— well——”

“Ah, I’ve forgotten everything!” she exclaimed as Raphael opened his eyes. “I have no words left except to tell you, ‘I am yours.’ There’s nothing in my heart but love. Angel of my life, you’ve never looked more beautiful! Your eyes are on fire— But come on, I can figure it all out. You’ve been searching for health without me; you were scared of me— well—”

“Go! go! leave me,” Raphael muttered at last. “Why do you not go? If you stay, I shall die. Do you want to see me die?”

“Go! Go! Leave me,” Raphael finally said. “Why don’t you leave? If you stay, I’m going to die. Do you want to watch me die?”

“Die?” she echoed. “Can you die without me? Die? But you are young; and I love you! Die?” she asked, in a deep, hollow voice. She seized his hands with a frenzied movement. “Cold!” she wailed. “Is it all an illusion?”

“Die?” she repeated. “Can you die without me? Die? But you're young, and I love you! Die?” she asked, in a deep, hollow voice. She grabbed his hands in a frantic motion. “Cold!” she cried. “Is it all just an illusion?”

Raphael drew the little bit of skin from under his pillow; it was as tiny and as fragile as a periwinkle petal. He showed it to her.

Raphael pulled the small piece of skin from under his pillow; it was as tiny and delicate as a periwinkle petal. He showed it to her.

“Pauline!” he said, “fair image of my fair life, let us say good-bye?”

“Pauline!” he said, “my beautiful reflection of this beautiful life, shall we say goodbye?”

“Good-bye?” she echoed, looking surprised.

“Goodbye?” she echoed, looking surprised.

“Yes. This is a talisman that grants me all my wishes, and that represents my span of life. See here, this is all that remains of it. If you look at me any longer, I shall die——”

“Yes. This is a charm that grants me all my wishes and represents my lifespan. See here, this is all that’s left of it. If you keep looking at me, I’ll die——”

The young girl thought that Valentin had grown lightheaded; she took the talisman and went to fetch the lamp. By its tremulous light which she shed over Raphael and the talisman, she scanned her lover’s face and the last morsel of the magic skin. As Pauline stood there, in all the beauty of love and terror, Raphael was no longer able to control his thoughts; memories of tender scenes, and of passionate and fevered joys, overwhelmed the soul that had so long lain dormant within him, and kindled a fire not quite extinct.

The young girl thought Valentin had become a bit dizzy; she grabbed the talisman and went to get the lamp. By its flickering light, which she cast over Raphael and the talisman, she examined her lover’s face and the last piece of the magic skin. As Pauline stood there, embodying both the beauty of love and fear, Raphael could no longer hold back his thoughts; memories of tender moments and passionate, fiery joys flooded his soul, which had been dormant for so long, igniting a fire that wasn’t completely out.

“Pauline! Pauline! Come to me——”

“Pauline! Pauline! Come here——”

A dreadful cry came from the girl’s throat, her eyes dilated with horror, her eyebrows were distorted and drawn apart by an unspeakable anguish; she read in Raphael’s eyes the vehement desire in which she had once exulted, but as it grew she felt a light movement in her hand, and the skin contracted. She did not stop to think; she fled into the next room, and locked the door.

A terrifying scream escaped the girl’s throat, her eyes wide with fear, her eyebrows twisted and pulled apart by an unbearable pain; she saw in Raphael’s eyes the intense longing she had once celebrated, but as it intensified, she felt a slight movement in her hand, and her skin tightened. She didn’t stop to think; she ran into the next room and locked the door.

“Pauline! Pauline!” cried the dying man, as he rushed after her; “I love you, I adore you, I want you, Pauline! I wish to die in your arms!”

“Pauline! Pauline!” shouted the dying man as he ran after her; “I love you, I adore you, I want you, Pauline! I want to die in your arms!”

With unnatural strength, the last effort of ebbing life, he broke down the door, and saw his mistress writhing upon a sofa. Pauline had vainly tried to pierce her heart, and now thought to find a rapid death by strangling herself with her shawl.

With unnatural strength, the final effort of fading life, he broke down the door and saw his mistress twisting on a sofa. Pauline had unsuccessfully tried to stab her heart and now aimed for a quick death by choking herself with her shawl.

“If I die, he will live,” she said, trying to tighten the knot that she had made.

“If I die, he will live,” she said, attempting to tighten the knot she had made.

In her struggle with death her hair hung loose, her shoulders were bare, her clothing was disordered, her eyes were bathed in tears, her face was flushed and drawn with the horror of despair; yet as her exceeding beauty met Raphael’s intoxicated eyes, his delirium grew. He sprang towards her like a bird of prey, tore away the shawl, and tried to take her in his arms.

In her battle with death, her hair fell freely, her shoulders were exposed, her clothes were messy, her eyes were filled with tears, and her face was red and gaunt with the anguish of despair; yet, as her incredible beauty caught Raphael’s mesmerized gaze, his excitement intensified. He rushed towards her like a predator, pulled away the shawl, and attempted to embrace her.

The dying man sought for words to express the wish that was consuming his strength; but no sounds would come except the choking death-rattle in his chest. Each breath he drew sounded hollower than the last, and seemed to come from his very entrails. At the last moment, no longer able to utter a sound, he set his teeth in Pauline’s breast. Jonathan appeared, terrified by the cries he had heard, and tried to tear away the dead body from the grasp of the girl who was crouching with it in a corner.

The dying man struggled to find the words to express the wish that was draining his strength, but all that came out was a choking death rattle from his chest. Each breath he took sounded emptier than the last, as if it was coming from deep within him. In his final moments, unable to make any sound, he gripped Pauline’s breast with his teeth. Jonathan arrived, panicked by the cries he had heard, and attempted to pull the lifeless body away from the girl who was curled up with it in the corner.

“What do you want?” she asked. “He is mine, I have killed him. Did I not foresee how it would be?”

“What do you want?” she asked. “He’s mine; I killed him. Didn’t I see this coming?”





EPILOGUE

“And what became of Pauline?”

“Pauline? Ah! Do you sometimes spend a pleasant winter evening by your own fireside, and give yourself up luxuriously to memories of love or youth, while you watch the glow of the fire where the logs of oak are burning? Here, the fire outlines a sort of chessboard in red squares, there it has a sheen like velvet; little blue flames start up and flicker and play about in the glowing depths of the brasier. A mysterious artist comes and adapts that flame to his own ends; by a secret of his own he draws a visionary face in the midst of those flaming violet and crimson hues, a face with unimaginable delicate outlines, a fleeting apparition which no chance will ever bring back again. It is a woman’s face, her hair is blown back by the wind, her features speak of a rapture of delight; she breathes fire in the midst of the fire. She smiles, she dies, you will never see her any more. Farewell, flower of the flame! Farewell, essence incomplete and unforeseen, come too early or too late to make the spark of some glorious diamond.”

“Pauline? Ah! Do you ever enjoy a cozy winter evening by your own fire, losing yourself in luxurious memories of love or youth as you watch the warm glow of the burning oak logs? Here, the fire creates a red checkerboard pattern, and there it glistens like velvet; little blue flames dance and flicker around in the glowing coals. A mysterious artist manipulates those flames to his liking; with his unique touch, he shapes a fleeting face amidst the violet and crimson flames, an image with incredibly delicate features, a momentary apparition that will never return. It’s a woman’s face, her hair swept back by the wind, her expression filled with pure joy; she radiates fire in the midst of the flames. She smiles, she fades away, and you will never see her again. Goodbye, flame’s flower! Goodbye, incomplete and unexpected essence, arriving too early or too late to become the spark of some glorious diamond.”

“But, Pauline?”

“But, Pauline?”

“You do not see, then? I will begin again. Make way! make way! She comes, she is here, the queen of illusions, a woman fleeting as a kiss, a woman bright as lightning, issuing in a blaze like lightning from the sky, a being uncreated, of spirit and love alone. She has wrapped her shadowy form in flame, or perhaps the flame betokens that she exists but for a moment. The pure outlines of her shape tell you that she comes from heaven. Is she not radiant as an angel? Can you not hear the beating of her wings in space? She sinks down beside you more lightly than a bird, and you are entranced by her awful eyes; there is a magical power in her light breathing that draws your lips to hers; she flies and you follow; you feel the earth beneath you no longer. If you could but once touch that form of snow with your eager, deluded hands, once twine the golden hair round your fingers, place one kiss on those shining eyes! There is an intoxicating vapor around, and the spell of a siren music is upon you. Every nerve in you is quivering; you are filled with pain and longing. O joy for which there is no name! You have touched the woman’s lips, and you are awakened at once by a horrible pang. Oh! ah! yes, you have struck your head against the corner of the bedpost, you have been clasping its brown mahogany sides, and chilly gilt ornaments; embracing a piece of metal, a brazen Cupid.”

“You don’t see it, do you? Let me try again. Make way! make way! She comes, she’s here, the queen of illusions, a woman as fleeting as a kiss, a woman as bright as lightning, bursting forth in a blaze like lightning from the sky, a being that’s uncreated, made of only spirit and love. She has wrapped her shadowy form in flames, or maybe the flames signify that she exists only for a moment. The clear outlines of her shape show you that she comes from heaven. Isn’t she radiant like an angel? Can you hear the sound of her wings in the air? She settles down beside you lighter than a bird, and you’re captivated by her mesmerizing eyes; there’s a magical energy in her gentle breath that draws your lips to hers; she takes off and you follow; you no longer feel the ground beneath you. If only you could touch that snowy form with your eager, deluded hands, just once twist her golden hair around your fingers, place one kiss on those shining eyes! There’s an intoxicating mist in the air, and the spell of siren music surrounds you. Every nerve in your body trembles; you’re filled with pain and longing. Oh joy that has no name! You’ve touched her lips, and you’re suddenly jolted awake by a horrible pang. Oh! yes, you’ve hit your head against the corner of the bedpost, you’ve been gripping its brown mahogany sides, and chilly gilt ornaments; embracing a piece of metal, a brassy Cupid.”

“But how about Pauline, sir?”

"But what about Pauline, sir?"

“What, again? Listen. One lovely morning at Tours a young man, who held the hand of a pretty woman in his, went on board the Ville d’Angers. Thus united they both looked and wondered long at a white form that rose elusively out of the mists above the broad waters of the Loire, like some child of the sun and the river, or some freak of air and cloud. This translucent form was a sylph or a naiad by turns; she hovered in the air like a word that haunts the memory, which seeks in vain to grasp it; she glided among the islands, she nodded her head here and there among the tall poplar trees; then she grew to a giant’s height; she shook out the countless folds of her drapery to the light; she shot light from the aureole that the sun had litten about her face; she hovered above the slopes of the hills and their little hamlets, and seemed to bar the passage of the boat before the Chateau d’Usse. You might have thought that La dame des belles cousines sought to protect her country from modern intrusion.”

“What, again? Listen. One beautiful morning in Tours, a young man, holding the hand of a pretty woman, boarded the Ville d’Angers. Together, they looked and marveled for a long time at a white figure that rose mysteriously from the mists over the wide waters of the Loire, like a child of the sun and the river or some whimsical creation of air and clouds. This translucent figure transformed between a sylph and a naiad; she floated in the air like a word that lingers in memory, eluding capture. She glided among the islands, nodded among the tall poplar trees, grew to the height of a giant, unfurled the many layers of her drapery to the light, and radiated as the sun highlighted her face. She hovered over the hills and their little villages, seeming to block the boat's path before the Chateau d’Usse. You might have thought that La dame des belles cousines was guarding her land from modern intrusions.”

“Well, well, I understand. So it went with Pauline. But how about Foedora?”

“Well, I get it. That was the case with Pauline. But what about Foedora?”

“Oh! Foedora, you are sure to meet with her! She was at the Bouffons last night, and she will go to the Opera this evening, and if you like to take it so, she is Society.”

“Oh! Foedora, you’re definitely going to run into her! She was at the Bouffons last night, and she’s going to the Opera this evening, and if you see it that way, she is part of Society.”





ADDENDUM

The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy.

     Aquilina
       Melmoth Reconciled

     Bianchon, Horace
       Father Goriot
       The Atheist’s Mass
       Cesar Birotteau
       The Commission in Lunacy
       Lost Illusions
       A Distinguished Provincial at Paris
       A Bachelor’s Establishment
       The Secrets of a Princess
       The Government Clerks
       Pierrette
       A Study of Woman
       Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life
       Honorine
       The Seamy Side of History
       A Second Home
       A Prince of Bohemia
       Letters of Two Brides
       The Muse of the Department
       The Imaginary Mistress
       The Middle Classes
       Cousin Betty
       The Country Parson
     In addition, M. Bianchon narrated the following:
       Another Study of Woman
       La Grande Breteche

     Canalis, Constant-Cyr-Melchior, Baron de
       Letters of Two Brides
       A Distinguished Provincial at Paris
       Modeste Mignon
       Another Study of Woman
       A Start in Life
       Beatrix
       The Unconscious Humorists
       The Member for Arcis

     Dudley, Lady Arabella
       The Lily of the Valley
       The Ball at Sceaux
       The Secrets of a Princess
       A Daughter of Eve
       Letters of Two Brides

     Euphrasia
       Melmoth Reconciled

     Joseph
       A Study of Woman

     Massol
       Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life
       A Daughter of Eve
       Cousin Betty
       The Unconscious Humorists

     Navarreins, Duc de
       A Bachelor’s Establishment
       Colonel Chabert
       The Muse of the Department
       The Thirteen
       Jealousies of a Country Town
       The Peasantry
       Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life
       The Country Parson
       The Gondreville Mystery
       The Secrets of a Princess
       Cousin Betty

     Rastignac, Eugene de
       Father Goriot
       A Distinguished Provincial at Paris
       Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life
       The Ball at Sceaux
       The Interdiction
       A Study of Woman
       Another Study of Woman
       The Secrets of a Princess
       A Daughter of Eve
       The Gondreville Mystery
       The Firm of Nucingen
       Cousin Betty
       The Member for Arcis
       The Unconscious Humorists

     Taillefer, Jean-Frederic
       The Firm of Nucingen
       Father Goriot
       The Red Inn
     Aquilina  
       Melmoth Reconciled  

     Bianchon, Horace  
       Father Goriot  
       The Atheist’s Mass  
       Cesar Birotteau  
       The Commission in Lunacy  
       Lost Illusions  
       A Distinguished Provincial in Paris  
       A Bachelor’s Establishment  
       The Secrets of a Princess  
       The Government Clerks  
       Pierrette  
       A Study of Woman  
       Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life  
       Honorine  
       The Seamy Side of History  
       A Second Home  
       A Prince of Bohemia  
       Letters of Two Brides  
       The Muse of the Department  
       The Imaginary Mistress  
       The Middle Classes  
       Cousin Betty  
       The Country Parson  
     In addition, M. Bianchon narrated the following:  
       Another Study of Woman  
       La Grande Breteche  

     Canalis, Constant-Cyr-Melchior, Baron de  
       Letters of Two Brides  
       A Distinguished Provincial in Paris  
       Modeste Mignon  
       Another Study of Woman  
       A Start in Life  
       Beatrix  
       The Unconscious Humorists  
       The Member for Arcis  

     Dudley, Lady Arabella  
       The Lily of the Valley  
       The Ball at Sceaux  
       The Secrets of a Princess  
       A Daughter of Eve  
       Letters of Two Brides  

     Euphrasia  
       Melmoth Reconciled  

     Joseph  
       A Study of Woman  

     Massol  
       Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life  
       A Daughter of Eve  
       Cousin Betty  
       The Unconscious Humorists  

     Navarreins, Duc de  
       A Bachelor’s Establishment  
       Colonel Chabert  
       The Muse of the Department  
       The Thirteen  
       Jealousies of a Country Town  
       The Peasantry  
       Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life  
       The Country Parson  
       The Gondreville Mystery  
       The Secrets of a Princess  
       Cousin Betty  

     Rastignac, Eugene de  
       Father Goriot  
       A Distinguished Provincial in Paris  
       Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life  
       The Ball at Sceaux  
       The Interdiction  
       A Study of Woman  
       Another Study of Woman  
       The Secrets of a Princess  
       A Daughter of Eve  
       The Gondreville Mystery  
       The Firm of Nucingen  
       Cousin Betty  
       The Member for Arcis  
       The Unconscious Humorists  

     Taillefer, Jean-Frederic  
       The Firm of Nucingen  
       Father Goriot  
       The Red Inn  











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