This is a modern-English version of Love, and Other Stories, originally written by Chekhov, Anton Pavlovich.
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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THE TALES OF CHEKHOV
Volume 13
LOVE AND OTHER STORIES
By Anton Tchekhov
Translated by Constance Garnett
CONTENTS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
LOVE
“THREE o’clock in the morning. The soft April night is looking in at my windows and caressingly winking at me with its stars. I can’t sleep, I am so happy!
THREE o’clock in the morning. The gentle April night is peeking in through my windows and playfully winking at me with its stars. I can’t sleep; I'm so happy!
“My whole being from head to heels is bursting with a strange, incomprehensible feeling. I can’t analyse it just now—I haven’t the time, I’m too lazy, and there—hang analysis! Why, is a man likely to interpret his sensations when he is flying head foremost from a belfry, or has just learned that he has won two hundred thousand? Is he in a state to do it?”
“My entire body from head to toe is filled with a strange, confusing feeling. I can’t analyze it right now—I don’t have the time, I’m too lazy, and honestly—who cares about analysis! I mean, is someone really in the mood to interpret their emotions when they’re plummeting from a belfry, or just found out they’ve won two hundred thousand? Is that really a good time for it?”
This was more or less how I began my love-letter to Sasha, a girl of nineteen with whom I had fallen in love. I began it five times, and as often tore up the sheets, scratched out whole pages, and copied it all over again. I spent as long over the letter as if it had been a novel I had to write to order. And it was not because I tried to make it longer, more elaborate, and more fervent, but because I wanted endlessly to prolong the process of this writing, when one sits in the stillness of one’s study and communes with one’s own day-dreams while the spring night looks in at one’s window. Between the lines I saw a beloved image, and it seemed to me that there were, sitting at the same table writing with me, spirits as naïvely happy, as foolish, and as blissfully smiling as I. I wrote continually, looking at my hand, which still ached deliciously where hers had lately pressed it, and if I turned my eyes away I had a vision of the green trellis of the little gate. Through that trellis Sasha gazed at me after I had said goodbye to her. When I was saying good-bye to Sasha I was thinking of nothing and was simply admiring her figure as every decent man admires a pretty woman; when I saw through the trellis two big eyes, I suddenly, as though by inspiration, knew that I was in love, that it was all settled between us, and fully decided already, that I had nothing left to do but to carry out certain formalities.
This is pretty much how I started my love letter to Sasha, a nineteen-year-old girl I had fallen for. I began it five times, and each time I tore up the pages, crossed out whole sections, and rewrote everything. I spent as much time on this letter as if I were writing a novel on demand. It wasn’t because I was trying to make it longer, fancier, or more passionate; it was because I wanted to stretch out the writing process, sitting quietly in my study, lost in my daydreams while the spring night looked in through my window. Between the lines, I could see a beloved image, and it felt like there were spirits at the same table writing with me, as blissfully happy, silly, and smiling as I was. I kept writing, glancing at my hand, which still pleasantly ached where hers had just pressed it. If I looked away, I’d see the green trellis of the little gate. Through that trellis, Sasha had gazed at me after I said goodbye. When I was saying goodbye to her, I wasn’t thinking about anything; I was just admiring her figure like any respectful man admires a beautiful woman. But when I saw those big eyes through the trellis, I suddenly realized, almost like a revelation, that I was in love, that everything was settled between us, and decided already. All that was left for me was to go through some formalities.
It is a great delight also to seal up a love-letter, and, slowly putting on one’s hat and coat, to go softly out of the house and to carry the treasure to the post. There are no stars in the sky now: in their place there is a long whitish streak in the east, broken here and there by clouds above the roofs of the dingy houses; from that streak the whole sky is flooded with pale light. The town is asleep, but already the water-carts have come out, and somewhere in a far-away factory a whistle sounds to wake up the workpeople. Beside the postbox, slightly moist with dew, you are sure to see the clumsy figure of a house porter, wearing a bell-shaped sheepskin and carrying a stick. He is in a condition akin to catalepsy: he is not asleep or awake, but something between.
It’s such a joy to seal a love letter, and while putting on your hat and coat, to quietly step out of the house and take the treasure to the mailbox. There are no stars in the sky right now; instead, there's a long, pale streak in the east, dotted with clouds above the shabby rooftops. That streak fills the entire sky with a soft light. The town is asleep, but the water trucks are already out, and somewhere in a distant factory, a whistle blows to wake up the workers. Next to the mailbox, slightly damp with dew, you’re likely to spot the awkward figure of a building porter, wearing a bell-shaped sheepskin coat and holding a stick. He’s in a state like catalepsy: neither fully asleep nor fully awake, but something in between.
If the boxes knew how often people resort to them for the decision of their fate, they would not have such a humble air. I, anyway, almost kissed my postbox, and as I gazed at it I reflected that the post is the greatest of blessings.
If the boxes understood how often people turn to them to decide their fate, they wouldn't seem so unassuming. I nearly kissed my mailbox, and as I looked at it, I thought about how the mail is one of life's greatest blessings.
I beg anyone who has ever been in love to remember how one usually hurries home after dropping the letter in the box, rapidly gets into bed and pulls up the quilt in the full conviction that as soon as one wakes up in the morning one will be overwhelmed with memories of the previous day and look with rapture at the window, where the daylight will be eagerly making its way through the folds of the curtain.
I urge anyone who has ever been in love to recall how you typically rush home after dropping the letter in the mailbox, quickly hop into bed and pull up the comforter, fully convinced that as soon as you wake up in the morning, you'll be flooded with memories of the day before and look out the window in delight, where the sunlight will eagerly be streaming through the folds of the curtain.
Well, to facts. . . . Next morning at midday, Sasha’s maid brought me the following answer: “I am delited be sure to come to us to day please I shall expect you. Your S.”
Well, to the facts... The next morning at noon, Sasha’s maid brought me the following response: “I am delighted. Be sure to come to us today, please. I will be expecting you. Yours, S.”
Not a single comma. This lack of punctuation, and the misspelling of the word “delighted,” the whole letter, and even the long, narrow envelope in which it was put filled my heart with tenderness. In the sprawling but diffident handwriting I recognised Sasha’s walk, her way of raising her eyebrows when she laughed, the movement of her lips. . . . But the contents of the letter did not satisfy me. In the first place, poetical letters are not answered in that way, and in the second, why should I go to Sasha’s house to wait till it should occur to her stout mamma, her brothers, and poor relations to leave us alone together? It would never enter their heads, and nothing is more hateful than to have to restrain one’s raptures simply because of the intrusion of some animate trumpery in the shape of a half-deaf old woman or little girl pestering one with questions. I sent an answer by the maid asking Sasha to select some park or boulevard for a rendezvous. My suggestion was readily accepted. I had struck the right chord, as the saying is.
Not a single comma. This lack of punctuation and the misspelling of the word “delighted,” along with the whole letter and even the long, narrow envelope it came in, filled my heart with warmth. In the sprawling but timid handwriting, I recognized Sasha’s walk, the way she raised her eyebrows when she laughed, the movement of her lips. . . . But the content of the letter didn’t satisfy me. First of all, poetic letters aren’t replied to like that, and secondly, why should I go to Sasha’s house and wait for her chubby mom, her brothers, and distant relatives to finally decide to leave us alone? It wouldn’t even cross their minds, and nothing is more frustrating than having to hold back my excitement just because some nosy old woman or little girl keeps bothering me with questions. I sent a reply through the maid, asking Sasha to pick a park or boulevard for us to meet. She quickly accepted my suggestion. I had hit the right note, as the saying goes.
Between four and five o’clock in the afternoon I made my way to the furthest and most overgrown part of the park. There was not a soul in the park, and the tryst might have taken place somewhere nearer in one of the avenues or arbours, but women don’t like doing it by halves in romantic affairs; in for a penny, in for a pound—if you are in for a tryst, let it be in the furthest and most impenetrable thicket, where one runs the risk of stumbling upon some rough or drunken man. When I went up to Sasha she was standing with her back to me, and in that back I could read a devilish lot of mystery. It seemed as though that back and the nape of her neck, and the black spots on her dress were saying: Hush! . . . The girl was wearing a simple cotton dress over which she had thrown a light cape. To add to the air of mysterious secrecy, her face was covered with a white veil. Not to spoil the effect, I had to approach on tiptoe and speak in a half whisper.
Between four and five in the afternoon, I headed to the most remote and overgrown part of the park. There wasn’t a single person around, and the meeting could have happened somewhere closer, like one of the pathways or secluded spots, but women don’t like to go halfway in romantic situations; if you’re going to do it, go all in—if you’re in for a meeting, let it be in the deepest and most hidden thicket, where you might run into some rough or drunk guy. When I approached Sasha, she was facing away from me, and there was an intriguing air of mystery about her back. It was as if her back, the nape of her neck, and the dark spots on her dress were whispering: Hush! . . . She was wearing a simple cotton dress with a light cape thrown over it. To enhance the sense of secretive mystery, her face was covered with a white veil. To keep the atmosphere intact, I had to walk on tiptoe and speak in a soft whisper.
From what I remember now, I was not so much the essential point of the rendezvous as a detail of it. Sasha was not so much absorbed in the interview itself as in its romantic mysteriousness, my kisses, the silence of the gloomy trees, my vows. . . . There was not a minute in which she forgot herself, was overcome, or let the mysterious expression drop from her face, and really if there had been any Ivan Sidoritch or Sidor Ivanitch in my place she would have felt just as happy. How is one to make out in such circumstances whether one is loved or not? Whether the love is “the real thing” or not?
From what I remember now, I wasn't really the main focus of the meeting; I was just a part of it. Sasha wasn't so much focused on the interview itself as she was on its romantic mystery, my kisses, the silence of the dark trees, my promises... There wasn't a moment when she lost herself, got overwhelmed, or let the mysterious look fade from her face, and honestly, if there had been any Ivan Sidoritch or Sidor Ivanitch in my place, she would have been just as happy. How can you tell in such situations whether you're truly loved or not? Whether the love is the "real deal" or not?
From the park I took Sasha home with me. The presence of the beloved woman in one’s bachelor quarters affects one like wine and music. Usually one begins to speak of the future, and the confidence and self-reliance with which one does so is beyond bounds. You make plans and projects, talk fervently of the rank of general though you have not yet reached the rank of a lieutenant, and altogether you fire off such high-flown nonsense that your listener must have a great deal of love and ignorance of life to assent to it. Fortunately for men, women in love are always blinded by their feelings and never know anything of life. Far from not assenting, they actually turn pale with holy awe, are full of reverence and hang greedily on the maniac’s words. Sasha listened to me with attention, but I soon detected an absent-minded expression on her face, she did not understand me. The future of which I talked interested her only in its external aspect and I was wasting time in displaying my plans and projects before her. She was keenly interested in knowing which would be her room, what paper she would have in the room, why I had an upright piano instead of a grand piano, and so on. She examined carefully all the little things on my table, looked at the photographs, sniffed at the bottles, peeled the old stamps off the envelopes, saying she wanted them for something.
From the park, I took Sasha home with me. Having a beloved woman in your bachelor pad affects you like wine and music. Usually, you start talking about the future, and the confidence with which you do it is limitless. You make plans and projects, passionately discuss achieving the rank of general even though you're still just a lieutenant, and you spout such lofty nonsense that your listener must really love you and be quite naive to agree with it. Luckily for us, women in love are always blinded by their feelings and know little about life. Instead of disagreeing, they often turn pale with awe, are full of reverence, and hang on every word. Sasha listened to me intently, but I quickly noticed a blank expression on her face; she didn’t fully understand me. The future I spoke about only interested her in its superficial details, and I was wasting time sharing my plans with her. She was much more curious about which would be her room, what kind of wallpaper it would have, why I had an upright piano instead of a grand, and so on. She carefully examined the little things on my table, looked at the photos, sniffed the bottles, and peeled the old stamps off the envelopes, saying she wanted them for something.
“Please collect old stamps for me!” she said, making a grave face. “Please do.”
“Please collect old stamps for me!” she said, putting on a serious expression. “Please do.”
Then she found a nut in the window, noisily cracked it and ate it.
Then she found a nut in the window, cracked it open loudly, and ate it.
“Why don’t you stick little labels on the backs of your books?” she asked, taking a look at the bookcase.
“Why don’t you put little labels on the backs of your books?” she asked, glancing at the bookcase.
“What for?”
"Why?"
“Oh, so that each book should have its number. And where am I to put my books? I’ve got books too, you know.”
“Oh, so each book is supposed to have a number. And where am I supposed to put my books? I have books too, you know.”
“What books have you got?” I asked.
“What books do you have?” I asked.
Sasha raised her eyebrows, thought a moment and said:
Sasha raised her eyebrows, thought for a moment, and said:
“All sorts.”
“All kinds.”
And if it had entered my head to ask her what thoughts, what convictions, what aims she had, she would no doubt have raised her eyebrows, thought a minute, and have said in the same way: “All sorts.”
And if I had thought to ask her what she was thinking, what beliefs she had, or what goals she was aiming for, she probably would have raised her eyebrows, thought for a moment, and replied just like that: “All sorts.”
Later I saw Sasha home and left her house regularly, officially engaged, and was so reckoned till our wedding. If the reader will allow me to judge merely from my personal experience, I maintain that to be engaged is very dreary, far more so than to be a husband or nothing at all. An engaged man is neither one thing nor the other, he has left one side of the river and not reached the other, he is not married and yet he can’t be said to be a bachelor, but is in something not unlike the condition of the porter whom I have mentioned above.
Later, I walked Sasha home and regularly left her house, officially engaged, and that’s how it was until our wedding. If the reader will allow me to share based on my personal experience, I believe being engaged is very tedious, much more so than being a husband or being single. An engaged man is stuck in between; he has left one side of the river but hasn’t reached the other. He isn’t married, yet he can’t exactly be called a bachelor, and he’s in a situation not unlike the porter I mentioned earlier.
Every day as soon as I had a free moment I hastened to my fiancée. As I went I usually bore within me a multitude of hopes, desires, intentions, suggestions, phrases. I always fancied that as soon as the maid opened the door I should, from feeling oppressed and stifled, plunge at once up to my neck into a sea of refreshing happiness. But it always turned out otherwise in fact. Every time I went to see my fiancée I found all her family and other members of the household busy over the silly trousseau. (And by the way, they were hard at work sewing for two months and then they had less than a hundred roubles’ worth of things). There was a smell of irons, candle grease and fumes. Bugles scrunched under one’s feet. The two most important rooms were piled up with billows of linen, calico, and muslin and from among the billows peeped out Sasha’s little head with a thread between her teeth. All the sewing party welcomed me with cries of delight but at once led me off into the dining-room where I could not hinder them nor see what only husbands are permitted to behold. In spite of my feelings, I had to sit in the dining-room and converse with Pimenovna, one of the poor relations. Sasha, looking worried and excited, kept running by me with a thimble, a skein of wool or some other boring object.
Every day, as soon as I had a free moment, I rushed to see my fiancée. When I went there, I often carried a mix of hopes, desires, plans, ideas, and words in my mind. I always imagined that as soon as the maid opened the door, I would be overwhelmed by a wave of refreshing happiness. But it never turned out that way. Every time I visited, I found her entire family and the rest of the household busy working on the pointless trousseau. (By the way, they worked hard for two months and ended up with less than a hundred rubles’ worth of stuff.) There was a smell of irons, candle wax, and fumes in the air. Fabric pieces crunched underfoot. The two most important rooms were piled high with waves of linen, cotton, and muslin, and from among those piles, little Sasha's head peeked out with a thread in her teeth. Everyone in the sewing party greeted me with joyful shouts but immediately took me into the dining room, where I couldn't interfere or see what only husbands are allowed to see. Despite how I felt, I had to sit in the dining room and talk with Pimenovna, one of the distant relatives. Sasha, looking anxious and excited, kept dashing past me with a thimble, a skein of yarn, or some other uninteresting item.
“Wait, wait, I shan’t be a minute,” she would say when I raised imploring eyes to her. “Only fancy that wretch Stepanida has spoilt the bodice of the barège dress!”
“Wait, wait, I won’t be a minute,” she would say when I looked up at her with pleading eyes. “Can you believe that miserable Stepanida has ruined the bodice of the barège dress!”
And after waiting in vain for this grace, I lost my temper, went out of the house and walked about the streets in the company of the new cane I had bought. Or I would want to go for a walk or a drive with my fiancée, would go round and find her already standing in the hall with her mother, dressed to go out and playing with her parasol.
And after waiting for this grace without success, I lost my cool, left the house, and walked around the streets with the new cane I had bought. Sometimes I wanted to go for a walk or a drive with my fiancée, but I'd go find her already in the hall with her mother, ready to go out and playing with her parasol.
“Oh, we are going to the Arcade,” she would say. “We have got to buy some more cashmere and change the hat.”
“Oh, we're going to the Arcade,” she would say. “We need to buy some more cashmere and switch out the hat.”
My outing is knocked on the head. I join the ladies and go with them to the Arcade. It is revoltingly dull to listen to women shopping, haggling and trying to outdo the sharp shopman. I felt ashamed when Sasha, after turning over masses of material and knocking down the prices to a minimum, walked out of the shop without buying anything, or else told the shopman to cut her some half rouble’s worth.
My plans got canceled. I join the women and go with them to the Arcade. It’s painfully boring to listen to women shopping, bargaining, and trying to outsmart the clever shopkeeper. I felt embarrassed when Sasha, after sifting through piles of fabric and cutting the prices to the bare minimum, left the store without buying anything, or only told the shopkeeper to give her half a ruble's worth.
When they came out of the shop, Sasha and her mamma with scared and worried faces would discuss at length having made a mistake, having bought the wrong thing, the flowers in the chintz being too dark, and so on.
When they left the shop, Sasha and her mom, with scared and worried looks, would talk for a long time about having made a mistake, buying the wrong thing, the flowers in the chintz being too dark, and so on.
Yes, it is a bore to be engaged! I’m glad it’s over.
Yes, being engaged is so dull! I’m glad it’s done.
Now I am married. It is evening. I am sitting in my study reading. Behind me on the sofa Sasha is sitting munching something noisily. I want a glass of beer.
Now I'm married. It's evening. I'm sitting in my study reading. Behind me on the sofa, Sasha is munching on something loudly. I want a glass of beer.
“Sasha, look for the corkscrew. . . .” I say. “It’s lying about somewhere.”
“Sasha, can you find the corkscrew? It’s lying around here somewhere.”
Sasha leaps up, rummages in a disorderly way among two or three heaps of papers, drops the matches, and without finding the corkscrew, sits down in silence. . . . Five minutes pass—ten. . . I begin to be fretted both by thirst and vexation.
Sasha jumps up, digs through a messy pile of papers, drops the matches, and without finding the corkscrew, sits down in silence. . . . Five minutes pass—ten. . . I start to feel annoyed by both thirst and frustration.
“Sasha, do look for the corkscrew,” I say.
“Sasha, please look for the corkscrew,” I say.
Sasha leaps up again and rummages among the papers near me. Her munching and rustling of the papers affects me like the sound of sharpening knives against each other. . . . I get up and begin looking for the corkscrew myself. At last it is found and the beer is uncorked. Sasha remains by the table and begins telling me something at great length.
Sasha jumps up again and starts digging through the papers next to me. The sound of her munching and shuffling the papers feels like knives scraping against each other. . . . I stand up and start searching for the corkscrew myself. Finally, I find it, and the beer is opened. Sasha stays at the table and starts telling me something in detail.
“You’d better read something, Sasha,” I say.
“You should read something, Sasha,” I say.
She takes up a book, sits down facing me and begins moving her lips . . . . I look at her little forehead, moving lips, and sink into thought.
She picks up a book, sits down facing me, and starts to move her lips . . . . I gaze at her small forehead, her moving lips, and get lost in thought.
“She is getting on for twenty. . . .” I reflect. “If one takes a boy of the educated class and of that age and compares them, what a difference! The boy would have knowledge and convictions and some intelligence.”
“She is almost twenty. . . .” I think. “If you take a boy from an educated background and compare him at that age, what a difference! The boy would have knowledge, beliefs, and a bit of intelligence.”
But I forgive that difference just as the low forehead and moving lips are forgiven. I remember in my old Lovelace days I have cast off women for a stain on their stockings, or for one foolish word, or for not cleaning their teeth, and now I forgive everything: the munching, the muddling about after the corkscrew, the slovenliness, the long talking about nothing that matters; I forgive it all almost unconsciously, with no effort of will, as though Sasha’s mistakes were my mistakes, and many things which would have made me wince in old days move me to tenderness and even rapture. The explanation of this forgiveness of everything lies in my love for Sasha, but what is the explanation of the love itself, I really don’t know.
But I overlook those differences just like I overlook a low forehead and moving lips. I remember back in my old Lovelace days, I used to dismiss women over a stain on their stockings, a silly comment, or for not brushing their teeth. Now, I excuse everything: the munching, the fumbling with the corkscrew, the messiness, the endless chatter about things that don’t matter. I almost forgive it all without thinking, as if Sasha’s mistakes were my own, and many things that would have made me cringe before now fill me with tenderness and even joy. The reason for my forgiveness of everything comes from my love for Sasha, but honestly, I can’t explain why I love her in the first place.
LIGHTS
THE dog was barking excitedly outside. And Ananyev the engineer, his assistant called Von Schtenberg, and I went out of the hut to see at whom it was barking. I was the visitor, and might have remained indoors, but I must confess my head was a little dizzy from the wine I had drunk, and I was glad to get a breath of fresh air.
THE dog was barking excitedly outside. Ananyev the engineer, his assistant Von Schtenberg, and I went out of the hut to see who it was barking at. I was the guest and could have stayed inside, but I have to admit my head was a bit dizzy from the wine I had drunk, and I was happy to get some fresh air.
“There is nobody here,” said Ananyev when we went out. “Why are you telling stories, Azorka? You fool!”
“There’s no one here,” Ananyev said as we stepped outside. “Why are you making up stories, Azorka? You idiot!”
There was not a soul in sight.
There wasn't a single person in sight.
“The fool,” Azorka, a black house-dog, probably conscious of his guilt in barking for nothing and anxious to propitiate us, approached us, diffidently wagging his tail. The engineer bent down and touched him between his ears.
“The fool,” Azorka, a black house dog, likely aware of his guilt for barking without reason and eager to make amends, came over to us, timidly wagging his tail. The engineer bent down and rubbed him between the ears.
“Why are you barking for nothing, creature?” he said in the tone in which good-natured people talk to children and dogs. “Have you had a bad dream or what? Here, doctor, let me commend to your attention,” he said, turning to me, “a wonderfully nervous subject! Would you believe it, he can’t endure solitude—he is always having terrible dreams and suffering from nightmares; and when you shout at him he has something like an attack of hysterics.”
“Why are you barking for no reason, little guy?” he said in the friendly way that good-natured people talk to kids and dogs. “Did you have a bad dream or something? Here, doctor, let me bring to your attention,” he said, turning to me, “a remarkably nervous case! Would you believe it, he can’t stand being alone—he’s always having awful dreams and dealing with nightmares; and when you shout at him, he has something like a hysterical fit.”
“Yes, a dog of refined feelings,” the student chimed in.
“Yes, a dog with refined feelings,” the student chimed in.
Azorka must have understood that the conversation was concerning him. He turned his head upwards and grinned plaintively, as though to say, “Yes, at times I suffer unbearably, but please excuse it!”
Azorka must have realized that the conversation was about him. He looked up and gave a sad grin, as if to say, “Yeah, sometimes I suffer a lot, but please forgive me!”
It was an August night, there were stars, but it was dark. Owing to the fact that I had never in my life been in such exceptional surroundings, as I had chanced to come into now, the starry night seemed to me gloomy, inhospitable, and darker than it was in reality. I was on a railway line which was still in process of construction. The high, half-finished embankment, the mounds of sand, clay, and rubble, the holes, the wheel-barrows standing here and there, the flat tops of the mud huts in which the workmen lived—all this muddle, coloured to one tint by the darkness, gave the earth a strange, wild aspect that suggested the times of chaos. There was so little order in all that lay before me that it was somehow strange in the midst of the hideously excavated, grotesque-looking earth to see the silhouettes of human beings and the slender telegraph posts. Both spoiled the ensemble of the picture, and seemed to belong to a different world. It was still, and the only sound came from the telegraph wire droning its wearisome refrain somewhere very high above our heads.
It was an August night, there were stars, but it was dark. Since I had never experienced such unusual surroundings as I had now, the starry night felt gloomy, unwelcoming, and darker than it actually was. I was on a railway line that was still being built. The tall, half-finished embankment, the piles of sand, clay, and rubble, the holes, the wheelbarrows scattered here and there, the flat roofs of the mud huts where the workers lived—all this chaos, covered by the darkness, gave the ground a strange, wild look that reminded me of chaotic times. There was so little order in what lay before me that it felt odd to see the silhouettes of people and the slender telegraph poles among the grotesque, excavated earth. Both disrupted the scene and seemed to belong to a different world. It was quiet, and the only sound came from the telegraph wire humming its monotonous tune somewhere high above us.
We climbed up on the embankment and from its height looked down upon the earth. A hundred yards away where the pits, holes, and mounds melted into the darkness of the night, a dim light was twinkling. Beyond it gleamed another light, beyond that a third, then a hundred paces away two red eyes glowed side by side—probably the windows of some hut—and a long series of such lights, growing continually closer and dimmer, stretched along the line to the very horizon, then turned in a semicircle to the left and disappeared in the darkness of the distance. The lights were motionless. There seemed to be something in common between them and the stillness of the night and the disconsolate song of the telegraph wire. It seemed as though some weighty secret were buried under the embankment and only the lights, the night, and the wires knew of it.
We climbed up onto the embankment and from its height looked down at the ground. A hundred yards away, where the pits, holes, and mounds blended into the darkness of the night, a faint light was flickering. Beyond it shone another light, then a third, and then, a hundred paces away, two red eyes glowed side by side—probably the windows of some hut—and a long line of similar lights, getting closer and dimmer, stretched all the way to the horizon, then curved to the left and vanished into the darkness ahead. The lights were still. There seemed to be a connection between them, the stillness of the night, and the sorrowful song of the telegraph wire. It felt like some heavy secret was buried beneath the embankment, known only to the lights, the night, and the wires.
“How glorious, O Lord!” sighed Ananyev; “such space and beauty that one can’t tear oneself away! And what an embankment! It’s not an embankment, my dear fellow, but a regular Mont Blanc. It’s costing millions. . . .”
“How glorious, O Lord!” sighed Ananyev; “such space and beauty that you can’t pull yourself away! And what an embankment! It’s not just an embankment, my dear friend, it’s like a real Mont Blanc. It’s costing millions. . . .”
Going into ecstasies over the lights and the embankment that was costing millions, intoxicated by the wine and his sentimental mood, the engineer slapped Von Schtenberg on the shoulder and went on in a jocose tone:
Going wild over the lights and the embankment that was costing millions, buzzed from the wine and feeling sentimental, the engineer slapped Von Schtenberg on the shoulder and continued in a joking tone:
“Well, Mihail Mihailitch, lost in reveries? No doubt it is pleasant to look at the work of one’s own hands, eh? Last year this very spot was bare steppe, not a sight of human life, and now look: life . . . civilisation. . . And how splendid it all is, upon my soul! You and I are building a railway, and after we are gone, in another century or two, good men will build a factory, a school, a hospital, and things will begin to move! Eh!”
“Well, Mihail Mihailitch, deep in thought? No doubt it’s nice to see the results of your own hard work, right? Last year, this very spot was just empty steppe, with no sign of human life, and now look: life… civilization… And it all looks amazing, I swear! You and I are building a railway, and after we're gone, in another century or two, good people will build a factory, a school, a hospital, and things will really start to happen! Right?”
The student stood motionless with his hands thrust in his pockets, and did not take his eyes off the lights. He was not listening to the engineer, but was thinking, and was apparently in the mood in which one does not want to speak or to listen. After a prolonged silence he turned to me and said quietly:
The student stood still with his hands in his pockets, not taking his eyes off the lights. He wasn't paying attention to the engineer, lost in thought and clearly in a mood where he didn't want to talk or listen. After a long silence, he turned to me and said quietly:
“Do you know what those endless lights are like? They make me think of something long dead, that lived thousands of years ago, something like the camps of the Amalekites or the Philistines. It is as though some people of the Old Testament had pitched their camp and were waiting for morning to fight with Saul or David. All that is wanting to complete the illusion is the blare of trumpets and sentries calling to one another in some Ethiopian language.”
“Do you know what those endless lights are like? They remind me of something long gone, that existed thousands of years ago, like the camps of the Amalekites or the Philistines. It's as if some people from the Old Testament had set up their camp, waiting for morning to battle with Saul or David. All that's missing to complete the illusion is the sound of trumpets and guards calling to each other in some Ethiopian language.”
And, as though of design, the wind fluttered over the line and brought a sound like the clank of weapons. A silence followed. I don’t know what the engineer and the student were thinking of, but it seemed to me already that I actually saw before me something long dead and even heard the sentry talking in an unknown tongue. My imagination hastened to picture the tents, the strange people, their clothes, their armour.
And, as if on purpose, the wind stirred the air and carried a sound like the clanging of weapons. A silence followed. I can’t say what the engineer and the student were thinking, but it felt to me like I could actually see something long gone and even heard the guard speaking in a language I didn’t recognize. My imagination raced to envision the tents, the unusual people, their clothing, their armor.
“Yes,” muttered the student pensively, “once Philistines and Amalekites were living in this world, making wars, playing their part, and now no trace of them remains. So it will be with us. Now we are making a railway, are standing here philosophising, but two thousand years will pass—and of this embankment and of all those men, asleep after their hard work, not one grain of dust will remain. In reality, it’s awful!”
“Yeah,” murmured the student thoughtfully, “once there were Philistines and Amalekites in this world, fighting their battles, playing their roles, and now there’s not a trace of them left. We’ll end up the same way. Right now we’re building a railway, standing here philosophizing, but in two thousand years—of this embankment and all those guys, resting after their hard work, not even a speck of dust will remain. Honestly, it’s pretty terrifying!”
“You must drop those thoughts . . .” said the engineer gravely and admonishingly.
“You need to let go of those thoughts . . .” said the engineer seriously and with a warning tone.
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Because. . . . Thoughts like that are for the end of life, not for the beginning of it. You are too young for them.”
“Because... Thoughts like that are for the end of life, not for the beginning. You’re too young for them.”
“Why so?” repeated the student.
“Why?” repeated the student.
“All these thoughts of the transitoriness, the insignificance and the aimlessness of life, of the inevitability of death, of the shadows of the grave, and so on, all such lofty thoughts, I tell you, my dear fellow, are good and natural in old age when they come as the product of years of inner travail, and are won by suffering and really are intellectual riches; for a youthful brain on the threshold of real life they are simply a calamity! A calamity!” Ananyev repeated with a wave of his hand. “To my mind it is better at your age to have no head on your shoulders at all than to think on these lines. I am speaking seriously, Baron. And I have been meaning to speak to you about it for a long time, for I noticed from the very first day of our acquaintance your partiality for these damnable ideas!”
“All these thoughts about the temporary nature, the smallness, and the lack of direction in life, about the certainty of death, about the shadows of the grave, and so on—these lofty thoughts, I tell you, my friend, are meaningful and natural in old age when they come from years of inner struggle, earned through suffering, and are truly intellectual treasures. But for a young mind just stepping into real life, they are nothing but a disaster! A disaster!” Ananyev emphasized with a wave of his hand. “In my opinion, it's better at your age to not think at all than to dwell on these ideas. I’m serious, Baron. I’ve wanted to discuss this with you for a while because I noticed from the very first day we met that you have a tendency towards these awful thoughts!”
“Good gracious, why are they damnable?” the student asked with a smile, and from his voice and his face I could see that he asked the question from simple politeness, and that the discussion raised by the engineer did not interest him in the least.
“Good gracious, why are they so awful?” the student asked with a smile, and from his voice and his expression, I could tell that he was asking the question out of simple politeness, and that the discussion brought up by the engineer didn’t interest him at all.
I could hardly keep my eyes open. I was dreaming that immediately after our walk we should wish each other good-night and go to bed, but my dream was not quickly realised. When we had returned to the hut the engineer put away the empty bottles and took out of a large wicker hamper two full ones, and uncorking them, sat down to his work-table with the evident intention of going on drinking, talking, and working. Sipping a little from his glass, he made pencil notes on some plans and went on pointing out to the student that the latter’s way of thinking was not what it should be. The student sat beside him checking accounts and saying nothing. He, like me, had no inclination to speak or to listen. That I might not interfere with their work, I sat away from the table on the engineer’s crooked-legged travelling bedstead, feeling bored and expecting every moment that they would suggest I should go to bed. It was going on for one o’clock.
I could barely keep my eyes open. I was dreaming that right after our walk, we would say goodnight to each other and head off to bed, but that dream didn’t happen quickly. Once we returned to the hut, the engineer put away the empty bottles and pulled out two full ones from a large wicker basket. He uncorked them, sat down at his worktable, clearly planning to keep drinking, talking, and working. As he sipped from his glass, he made pencil notes on some plans and kept pointing out to the student that his way of thinking was off. The student sat next to him, checking accounts and saying nothing. Like me, he wasn’t in the mood to talk or listen. To avoid interrupting their work, I sat away from the table on the engineer’s crooked-legged travel bed, feeling bored and waiting for them to suggest I go to bed. It was approaching one o’clock.
Having nothing to do, I watched my new acquaintances. I had never seen Ananyev or the student before. I had only made their acquaintance on the night I have described. Late in the evening I was returning on horseback from a fair to the house of a landowner with whom I was staying, had got on the wrong road in the dark and lost my way. Going round and round by the railway line and seeing how dark the night was becoming, I thought of the “barefoot railway roughs,” who lie in wait for travellers on foot and on horseback, was frightened, and knocked at the first hut I came to. There I was cordially received by Ananyev and the student. As is usually the case with strangers casually brought together, we quickly became acquainted, grew friendly and at first over the tea and afterward over the wine, began to feel as though we had known each other for years. At the end of an hour or so, I knew who they were and how fate had brought them from town to the far-away steppe; and they knew who I was, what my occupation and my way of thinking.
Having nothing to do, I watched my new acquaintances. I had never seen Ananyev or the student before. I had only met them on the night I just described. Late in the evening, I was riding back on horseback from a fair to the house of a landowner where I was staying, but I got lost in the dark on the wrong path. As I went around in circles near the railway line and noticed how dark the night was getting, I thought of the “barefoot railway thugs” who lie in wait for travelers on foot and horseback, which scared me, so I knocked on the first hut I came across. There, Ananyev and the student welcomed me warmly. As often happens with strangers thrown together, we quickly got to know each other, became friendly, and first over tea and then over wine, began to feel like we had known each other for years. After about an hour, I learned who they were and how fate had brought them from the city to the remote steppe; they learned who I was, what I did, and how I thought.
Nikolay Anastasyevitch Ananyev, the engineer, was a broad-shouldered, thick-set man, and, judging from his appearance, he had, like Othello, begun the “descent into the vale of years,” and was growing rather too stout. He was just at that stage which old match-making women mean when they speak of “a man in the prime of his age,” that is, he was neither young nor old, was fond of good fare, good liquor, and praising the past, panted a little as he walked, snored loudly when he was asleep, and in his manner with those surrounding him displayed that calm imperturbable good humour which is always acquired by decent people by the time they have reached the grade of a staff officer and begun to grow stout. His hair and beard were far from being grey, but already, with a condescension of which he was unconscious, he addressed young men as “my dear boy” and felt himself entitled to lecture them good-humouredly about their way of thinking. His movements and his voice were calm, smooth, and self-confident, as they are in a man who is thoroughly well aware that he has got his feet firmly planted on the right road, that he has definite work, a secure living, a settled outlook. . . . His sunburnt, thick-nosed face and muscular neck seemed to say: “I am well fed, healthy, satisfied with myself, and the time will come when you young people too, will be well-fed, healthy, and satisfied with yourselves. . . .” He was dressed in a cotton shirt with the collar awry and in full linen trousers thrust into his high boots. From certain trifles, as for instance, from his coloured worsted girdle, his embroidered collar, and the patch on his elbow, I was able to guess that he was married and in all probability tenderly loved by his wife.
Nikolay Anastasyevitch Ananyev, the engineer, was a broad-shouldered, stocky man. Judging by his appearance, he had, like Othello, started the “descent into the vale of years” and was becoming a bit too heavy. He was at that stage that old matchmakers refer to as “a man in the prime of his age,” meaning he was neither young nor old, enjoyed good food and drink, and often reminisced about the past. He breathed a little heavily when he walked, snored loudly while sleeping, and showed a calm, unflappable good humor around others, which decent people usually develop by the time they’ve become staff officers and started to gain weight. His hair and beard weren’t gray yet, but he unconsciously addressed younger men as “my dear boy” and felt justified in giving them good-natured advice about their thoughts. His movements and voice were calm, smooth, and self-assured, typical of a man who knows he’s on the right path, has solid work, a stable income, and a clear perspective. His sun-kissed, thick-nosed face and muscular neck seemed to convey: “I’m well-fed, healthy, content with myself, and one day, you young folks will also be well-fed, healthy, and satisfied with your lives.” He wore a cotton shirt with a crooked collar and full linen trousers tucked into his high boots. From certain details, like his colorful worsted belt, embroidered collar, and the patch on his elbow, I could tell he was married and likely cherished by his wife.
Baron Von Schtenberg, a student of the Institute of Transport, was a young man of about three or four and twenty. Only his fair hair and scanty beard, and, perhaps, a certain coarseness and frigidity in his features showed traces of his descent from Barons of the Baltic provinces; everything else—his name, Mihail Mihailovitch, his religion, his ideas, his manners, and the expression of his face were purely Russian. Wearing, like Ananyev, a cotton shirt and high boots, with his round shoulders, his hair left uncut, and his sunburnt face, he did not look like a student or a Baron, but like an ordinary Russian workman. His words and gestures were few, he drank reluctantly without relish, checked the accounts mechanically, and seemed all the while to be thinking of something else. His movements and voice were calm, and smooth too, but his calmness was of a different kind from the engineer’s. His sunburnt, slightly ironical, dreamy face, his eyes which looked up from under his brows, and his whole figure were expressive of spiritual stagnatio—mental sloth. He looked as though it did not matter to him in the least whether the light were burning before him or not, whether the wine were nice or nasty, and whether the accounts he was checking were correct or not. . . . And on his intelligent, calm face I read: “I don’t see so far any good in definite work, a secure living, and a settled outlook. It’s all nonsense. I was in Petersburg, now I am sitting here in this hut, in the autumn I shall go back to Petersburg, then in the spring here again. . . . What sense there is in all that I don’t know, and no one knows. . . . And so it’s no use talking about it. . . .”
Baron Von Schtenberg, a student at the Institute of Transport, was a young man around twenty-three or twenty-four years old. Only his light hair and sparse beard, along with a certain roughness and coldness in his features, hinted at his descent from Barons of the Baltic provinces; everything else—his name, Mihail Mihailovitch, his religion, his beliefs, his behavior, and the expression on his face—was purely Russian. Dressed in a cotton shirt and high boots like Ananyev, with his broad shoulders, untrimmed hair, and sunburned face, he looked less like a student or a Baron and more like an ordinary Russian laborer. He spoke and gestured infrequently, drank without enthusiasm, mechanically checked accounts, and seemed to be preoccupied with something else the entire time. His movements and voice were calm and smooth, yet his calmness felt different from the engineer's. His sunburned, slightly sarcastic, dreamy face, and eyes that looked up from under his brows, along with his entire demeanor, conveyed a sense of spiritual stagnation—mental laziness. He appeared indifferent to whether the light in front of him was on or off, whether the wine was good or bad, and whether the accounts he was reviewing were accurate or not... And on his intelligent, calm face, I sensed: “I don’t see any value in steady work, a secure income, or a settled perspective. It’s all nonsense. I was in Petersburg, now I’m sitting here in this hut, in the autumn I’ll return to Petersburg, then back here in the spring... I don’t know what the point of all that is, and nobody knows... So there’s no use discussing it...”
He listened to the engineer without interest, with the condescending indifference with which cadets in the senior classes listen to an effusive and good-natured old attendant. It seemed as though there were nothing new to him in what the engineer said, and that if he had not himself been too lazy to talk, he would have said something newer and cleverer. Meanwhile Ananyev would not desist. He had by now laid aside his good-humoured, jocose tone and spoke seriously, even with a fervour which was quite out of keeping with his expression of calmness. Apparently he had no distaste for abstract subjects, was fond of them, indeed, but had neither skill nor practice in the handling of them. And this lack of practice was so pronounced in his talk that I did not always grasp his meaning at once.
He listened to the engineer without any interest, with the condescending indifference that senior cadets show to a chatty and friendly old attendant. It seemed like there was nothing new in what the engineer said, and if he hadn’t been too lazy to speak, he would have come up with something more original and clever. Meanwhile, Ananyev wouldn’t stop. He had now dropped his cheerful, joking tone and spoke seriously, even with a passion that felt out of place given his calm demeanor. It seemed like he had no aversion to abstract topics; in fact, he enjoyed them, but he lacked the skill and experience to discuss them well. This lack of practice was so evident in his words that I sometimes struggled to understand his point right away.
“I hate those ideas with all my heart!” he said, “I was infected by them myself in my youth, I have not quite got rid of them even now, and I tell you—perhaps because I am stupid and such thoughts were not the right food for my mind—they did me nothing but harm. That’s easy to understand! Thoughts of the aimlessness of life, of the insignificance and transitoriness of the visible world, Solomon’s 'vanity of vanities’ have been, and are to this day, the highest and final stage in the realm of thought. The thinker reaches that stage and—comes to a halt! There is nowhere further to go. The activity of the normal brain is completed with this, and that is natural and in the order of things. Our misfortune is that we begin thinking at that end. What normal people end with we begin with. From the first start, as soon as the brain begins working independently, we mount to the very topmost, final step and refuse to know anything about the steps below.”
“I hate those ideas with all my heart!” he said. “I was influenced by them myself when I was younger, and I still haven't completely shaken them off. I tell you—maybe because I’m not very bright and those thoughts weren’t the right nourishment for my mind—they only brought me harm. It’s easy to understand! Thoughts about the aimlessness of life, the insignificance and transience of the visible world, Solomon’s 'vanity of vanities' have been, and continue to be, the highest and final point in the realm of thought. The thinker reaches that point and—stops! There’s nowhere else to go. The normal brain's activity ends here, and that's natural and how things should be. Our misfortune is that we start thinking from that endpoint. What normal people finish with, we begin with. From the very start, as soon as the brain begins functioning independently, we jump straight to the very top, the final step, and refuse to acknowledge the steps below.”
“What harm is there in that?” said the student.
“What’s the harm in that?” said the student.
“But you must understand that it’s abnormal,” shouted Ananyev, looking at him almost wrathfully. “If we find means of mounting to the topmost step without the help of the lower ones, then the whole long ladder, that is the whole of life, with its colours, sounds, and thoughts, loses all meaning for us. That at your age such reflections are harmful and absurd, you can see from every step of your rational independent life. Let us suppose you sit down this minute to read Darwin or Shakespeare, you have scarcely read a page before the poison shows itself; and your long life, and Shakespeare, and Darwin, seem to you nonsense, absurdity, because you know you will die, that Shakespeare and Darwin have died too, that their thoughts have not saved them, nor the earth, nor you, and that if life is deprived of meaning in that way, all science, poetry, and exalted thoughts seem only useless diversions, the idle playthings of grown up people; and you leave off reading at the second page. Now, let us suppose that people come to you as an intelligent man and ask your opinion about war, for instance: whether it is desirable, whether it is morally justifiable or not. In answer to that terrible question you merely shrug your shoulders and confine yourself to some commonplace, because for you, with your way of thinking, it makes absolutely no difference whether hundreds of thousands of people die a violent death, or a natural one: the results are the same—ashes and oblivion. You and I are building a railway line. What’s the use, one may ask, of our worrying our heads, inventing, rising above the hackneyed thing, feeling for the workmen, stealing or not stealing, when we know that this railway line will turn to dust within two thousand years, and so on, and so on. . . . You must admit that with such a disastrous way of looking at things there can be no progress, no science, no art, nor even thought itself. We fancy that we are cleverer than the crowd, and than Shakespeare. In reality our thinking leads to nothing because we have no inclination to go down to the lower steps and there is nowhere higher to go, so our brain stands at the freezing point—neither up nor down; I was in bondage to these ideas for six years, and by all that is holy, I never read a sensible book all that time, did not gain a ha’porth of wisdom, and did not raise my moral standard an inch. Was not that disastrous? Moreover, besides being corrupted ourselves, we bring poison into the lives of those surrounding us. It would be all right if, with our pessimism, we renounced life, went to live in a cave, or made haste to die, but, as it is, in obedience to the universal law, we live, feel, love women, bring up children, construct railways!”
“But you have to understand that it’s not normal,” shouted Ananyev, looking at him almost angrily. “If we find a way to reach the top without using the lower steps, then the whole long ladder, which is life itself with its colors, sounds, and thoughts, loses all meaning for us. You can see from every step of your rational independent life that these thoughts are harmful and ridiculous at your age. Let's say you sit down right now to read Darwin or Shakespeare; you’ve barely read a page before the negativity hits you, and your entire life, along with Shakespeare and Darwin, feels like nonsense and absurdity because you realize you will die, just like Shakespeare and Darwin did, that their ideas didn’t save them, the world, or you, and if life is stripped of its meaning in that way, then all science, poetry, and high-minded thoughts seem like useless distractions, just playthings of adults; and you’d stop reading by the second page. Now, let’s say people approach you, as an intelligent person, and ask your opinion about war, for instance: whether it’s desirable or morally justifiable. In response to that heavy question, you just shrug and stick to some cliché, because for you, with your mindset, it really doesn’t matter if hundreds of thousands of people die violently or naturally—the outcome is the same—ashes and oblivion. You and I are building a railway line. One might ask, what’s the point of us stressing out, innovating, rising above the ordinary, sympathizing with the workers, whether we steal or not, when we know that this railway line will turn to dust in two thousand years, and so on, and so forth... You have to admit that with such a bleak worldview, there can be no progress, no science, no art, not even thought itself. We think we’re smarter than the masses or Shakespeare. In reality, our thinking leads nowhere because we refuse to go back to the lower steps and there’s nowhere higher to go, so our minds freeze—neither up nor down; I was trapped in these ideas for six years, and honestly, I never read a sensible book during that time, didn’t gain a bit of wisdom, and didn’t raise my moral standards at all. Wasn’t that tragic? Moreover, beyond corrupting ourselves, we spread negativity into the lives of those around us. It would be fine if, with our pessimism, we renounced life, retreated to a cave, or hurried to die, but instead, in line with the universal law, we live, feel, love women, raise children, and build railways!”
“Our thoughts make no one hot or cold,” the student said reluctantly.
“Our thoughts don’t make anyone feel hot or cold,” the student said reluctantly.
“Ah! there you are again!—do stop it! You have not yet had a good sniff at life. But when you have lived as long as I have you will know a thing or two! Our theory of life is not so innocent as you suppose. In practical life, in contact with human beings, it leads to nothing but horrors and follies. It has been my lot to pass through experiences which I would not wish a wicked Tatar to endure.”
“Ah! There you are again! Please stop it! You haven't really taken a good look at life yet. But once you've lived as long as I have, you'll understand a thing or two! Our view of life isn't as naive as you think. In real life, dealing with people, it leads to nothing but disasters and foolishness. I've gone through experiences that I wouldn't wish on anyone, not even a wicked Tatar.”
“For instance?” I asked.
"For example?" I asked.
“For instance?” repeated the engineer.
“For example?” repeated the engineer.
He thought a minute, smiled and said:
He thought for a moment, smiled, and said:
“For instance, take this example. More correctly, it is not an example, but a regular drama, with a plot and a dénouement. An excellent lesson! Ah, what a lesson!”
“For instance, consider this situation. Actually, it’s not just an example, but a real story, with a plot and a resolution. A great lesson! Oh, what a lesson!”
He poured out wine for himself and us, emptied his glass, stroked his broad chest with his open hands, and went on, addressing himself more to me than to the student.
He filled his glass with wine for himself and us, drank it all, ran his hands over his broad chest, and continued talking, directing his words more to me than to the student.
“It was in the year 187—, soon after the war, and when I had just left the University. I was going to the Caucasus, and on the way stopped for five days in the seaside town of N. I must tell you that I was born and grew up in that town, and so there is nothing odd in my thinking N. extraordinarily snug, cosy, and beautiful, though for a man from Petersburg or Moscow, life in it would be as dreary and comfortless as in any Tchuhloma or Kashira. With melancholy I passed by the high school where I had been a pupil; with melancholy I walked about the very familiar park, I made a melancholy attempt to get a nearer look at people I had not seen for a long time—all with the same melancholy.
“It was in the year 187—, soon after the war, and when I had just left the University. I was heading to the Caucasus, and on the way, I stopped for five days in the seaside town of N. I should mention that I was born and raised in that town, so it’s not surprising that I find N. incredibly snug, cozy, and beautiful, although for someone from Petersburg or Moscow, life there would feel as dull and uncomfortable as in any Tchuhloma or Kashira. I walked past the high school where I had been a student with sadness; I roamed the very familiar park, making a sad attempt to get a closer look at people I hadn’t seen in a long time—all with the same sense of sadness.”
“Among other things, I drove out one evening to the so-called Quarantine. It was a small mangy copse in which, at some forgotten time of plague, there really had been a quarantine station, and which was now the resort of summer visitors. It was a drive of three miles from the town along a good soft road. As one drove along one saw on the left the blue sea, on the right the unending gloomy steppe; there was plenty of air to breathe, and wide views for the eyes to rest on. The copse itself lay on the seashore. Dismissing my cabman, I went in at the familiar gates and first turned along an avenue leading to a little stone summer-house which I had been fond of in my childhood. In my opinion that round, heavy summer-house on its clumsy columns, which combined the romantic charm of an old tomb with the ungainliness of a Sobakevitch,* was the most poetical nook in the whole town. It stood at the edge above the cliff, and from it there was a splendid view of the sea.
“Among other things, I drove out one evening to the so-called Quarantine. It was a small, scrappy grove where, during some long-forgotten time of plague, there had actually been a quarantine station, and now it was a hangout for summer visitors. It was a three-mile drive from the town along a nice, smooth road. As I drove, I could see the blue sea on the left and the endless gloomy steppe on the right; there was plenty of fresh air, and wide views for my eyes to take in. The grove itself was right by the seashore. I dismissed my cab driver and entered through the familiar gates, first taking a path that led to a little stone summer house I had loved as a child. To me, that round, heavy summer house on its clunky columns, which combined the romantic charm of an old tomb with the awkwardness of a Sobakevitch,* was the most poetic spot in the whole town. It was perched at the edge of the cliff, offering a stunning view of the sea.”
*A character in Gogol’s Dead Souls.—Translator’s Note.
*A character in Gogol’s Dead Souls.—Translator’s Note.*
“I sat down on the seat, and, bending over the parapet, looked down. A path ran from the summer-house along the steep, almost overhanging cliff, between the lumps of clay and tussocks of burdock. Where it ended, far below on the sandy shore, low waves were languidly foaming and softly purring. The sea was as majestic, as infinite, and as forbidding as seven years before when I left the high school and went from my native town to the capital; in the distance there was a dark streak of smoke—a steamer was passing—and except for this hardly visible and motionless streak and the sea-swallows that flitted over the water, there was nothing to give life to the monotonous view of sea and sky. To right and left of the summer-house stretched uneven clay cliffs.
“I sat down on the seat and leaned over the railing to take a look down. A path wound from the summer house along the steep, almost overhanging cliff, weaving between clumps of clay and patches of burdock. Where it ended, far below on the sandy shore, low waves were lazily foaming and softly purring. The sea was as grand, as endless, and as intimidating as it had been seven years ago when I graduated from high school and left my hometown for the capital; in the distance, a dark plume of smoke indicated a steamer passing by—and aside from this barely visible, stationary streak and the sea-swallows darting above the water, there was nothing to liven up the monotonous view of sea and sky. On both sides of the summer house, uneven clay cliffs stretched out.”
“You know that when a man in a melancholy mood is left tête-à-tête with the sea, or any landscape which seems to him grandiose, there is always, for some reason, mixed with melancholy, a conviction that he will live and die in obscurity, and he reflectively snatches up a pencil and hastens to write his name on the first thing that comes handy. And that, I suppose, is why all convenient solitary nooks like my summer-house are always scrawled over in pencil or carved with penknives. I remember as though it were to-day; looking at the parapet I read: ‘Ivan Korolkov, May 16, 1876.’ Beside Korolkov some local dreamer had scribbled freely, adding:
“You know that when a guy feels down and is left alone with the sea or any landscape that seems impressive to him, there’s always, for some reason, a mix of sadness and the belief that he will live and die unnoticed. He then picks up a pencil and quickly writes his name on the first thing he can find. And that’s probably why all those convenient solitary spots like my summer-house are always covered in pencil marks or carved with knives. I remember it like it was yesterday; looking at the parapet, I saw: ‘Ivan Korolkov, May 16, 1876.’ Next to Korolkov, some local dreamer had scrawled freely, adding:
“‘He stood on the desolate ocean’s strand, While his soul was filled with imaginings grand.’
“‘He stood on the lonely beach by the ocean, While his soul was filled with great dreams and emotions.’
And his handwriting was dreamy, limp like wet silk. An individual called Kross, probably an insignificant, little man, felt his unimportance so deeply that he gave full licence to his penknife and carved his name in deep letters an inch high. I took a pencil out of my pocket mechanically, and I too scribbled on one of the columns. All that is irrelevant, however. . . You must forgive me—I don’t know how to tell a story briefly.
And his handwriting was dreamy, soft like wet silk. A guy named Kross, probably a pretty minor character, felt his lack of importance so intensely that he let his penknife go wild and carved his name in deep letters an inch high. I took a pencil out of my pocket without thinking, and I also wrote on one of the columns. But all that doesn't really matter... You have to forgive me—I just can’t tell a story briefly.
“I was sad and a little bored. Boredom, the stillness, and the purring of the sea gradually brought me to the line of thought we have been discussing. At that period, towards the end of the 'seventies, it had begun to be fashionable with the public, and later, at the beginning of the ‘eighties, it gradually passed from the general public into literature, science, and politics. I was no more than twenty-six at the time, but I knew perfectly well that life was aimless and had no meaning, that everything was a deception and an illusion, that in its essential nature and results a life of penal servitude in Sahalin was not in any way different from a life spent in Nice, that the difference between the brain of a Kant and the brain of a fly was of no real significance, that no one in this world is righteous or guilty, that everything was stuff and nonsense and damn it all! I lived as though I were doing a favour to some unseen power which compelled me to live, and to which I seemed to say: ‘Look, I don’t care a straw for life, but I am living!’ I thought on one definite line, but in all sorts of keys, and in that respect I was like the subtle gourmand who could prepare a hundred appetising dishes from nothing but potatoes. There is no doubt that I was one-sided and even to some extent narrow, but I fancied at the time that my intellectual horizon had neither beginning nor end, and that my thought was as boundless as the sea. Well, as far as I can judge by myself, the philosophy of which we are speaking has something alluring, narcotic in its nature, like tobacco or morphia. It becomes a habit, a craving. You take advantage of every minute of solitude to gloat over thoughts of the aimlessness of life and the darkness of the grave. While I was sitting in the summer-house, Greek children with long noses were decorously walking about the avenues. I took advantage of the occasion and, looking at them, began reflecting in this style:
“I was feeling sad and a bit bored. The boredom, the stillness, and the sound of the sea slowly led me to the thoughts we've been discussing. Back in the late '70s, it started to become popular with the public, and later, in the early '80s, it gradually moved from the public to literature, science, and politics. At just twenty-six, I was fully aware that life was pointless and meaningless, that everything was a deception and an illusion, that fundamentally a life of hard labor in Sakhalin was no different from one spent in Nice, that the difference between Kant's mind and a fly's mind was insignificant, that no one in this world is truly righteous or guilty, that everything was nonsense and damn it all! I lived as if I were doing a favor to some unseen force that compelled me to go on living, and I seemed to say to it: ‘Look, I don’t care at all about life, but I’m still here!’ I focused on one specific line of thought, but in various tones, and in that way, I was like a refined cook who could whip up a hundred delicious dishes from just potatoes. There's no doubt I was one-sided and somewhat narrow-minded, but at the time, I believed my intellectual horizon was boundless, and that my thoughts were as limitless as the sea. Well, as far as I can tell, the philosophy we're talking about has a captivating, almost narcotic quality, like tobacco or morphine. It becomes a habit, a craving. You seize every moment of solitude to dwell on the pointlessness of life and the darkness of death. While I was sitting in the summer house, Greek children with long noses were gracefully walking around the paths. I took the opportunity to observe them and began reflecting in this way:
“‘Why are these children born, and what are they living for? Is there any sort of meaning in their existence? They grow up, without themselves knowing what for; they will live in this God-forsaken, comfortless hole for no sort of reason, and then they will die. . . .’
“‘Why are these kids born, and what are they living for? Is there any point to their existence? They grow up without even knowing why; they'll live in this godforsaken, uncomfortable place for no reason at all, and then they'll die. . . .’”
“And I actually felt vexed with those children because they were walking about decorously and talking with dignity, as though they did not hold their little colourless lives so cheap and knew what they were living for. . . . I remember that far away at the end of an avenue three feminine figures came into sight. Three young ladies, one in a pink dress, two in white, were walking arm-in-arm, talking and laughing. Looking after them, I thought:
“And I actually felt annoyed with those kids because they were walking around properly and talking seriously, as if they didn’t view their little bland lives as worthless and actually knew what they were living for. . . . I remember that far down at the end of an avenue, three female figures came into view. Three young women, one in a pink dress and two in white, were walking arm-in-arm, chatting and laughing. Watching them, I thought:
“‘It wouldn’t be bad to have an affair with some woman for a couple of days in this dull place.’
“‘It wouldn’t be so bad to have a fling with some woman for a few days in this boring place.’”
“I recalled by the way that it was three weeks since I had visited my Petersburg lady, and thought that a passing love affair would come in very appropriately for me just now. The young lady in white in the middle was rather younger and better looking than her companions, and judging by her manners and her laugh, she was a high-school girl in an upper form. I looked, not without impure thoughts, at her bust, and at the same time reflected about her: 'She will be trained in music and manners, she will be married to some Greek—God help us!—will lead a grey, stupid, comfortless life, will bring into the world a crowd of children without knowing why, and then will die. An absurd life!’
“I remembered that it had been three weeks since I visited my lady in Petersburg and thought that a casual romance would be perfect for me right now. The young woman in white in the center was younger and more attractive than her friends, and judging by her behavior and laugh, she seemed to be a high school senior. I looked at her figure with some inappropriate thoughts, and at the same time reflected: 'She will be trained in music and etiquette, she will marry some Greek—God help us!—will live a dull, miserable life, will have a bunch of kids without really knowing why, and then will die. What a ridiculous life!’”
“I must say that as a rule I was a great hand at combining my lofty ideas with the lowest prose.
“I have to say that, generally, I was really good at mixing my high-minded ideas with the most basic writing.
“Thoughts of the darkness of the grave did not prevent me from giving busts and legs their full due. Our dear Baron’s exalted ideas do not prevent him from going on Saturdays to Vukolovka on amatory expeditions. To tell the honest truth, as far as I remember, my attitude to women was most insulting. Now, when I think of that high-school girl, I blush for my thoughts then, but at the time my conscience was perfectly untroubled. I, the son of honourable parents, a Christian, who had received a superior education, not naturally wicked or stupid, felt not the slightest uneasiness when I paid women Blutgeld, as the Germans call it, or when I followed high-school girls with insulting looks. . . . The trouble is that youth makes its demands, and our philosophy has nothing in principle against those demands, whether they are good or whether they are loathsome. One who knows that life is aimless and death inevitable is not interested in the struggle against nature or the conception of sin: whether you struggle or whether you don’t, you will die and rot just the same. . . . Secondly, my friends, our philosophy instils even into very young people what is called reasonableness. The predominance of reason over the heart is simply overwhelming amongst us. Direct feeling, inspiration—everything is choked by petty analysis. Where there is reasonableness there is coldness, and cold people—it’s no use to disguise it—know nothing of chastity. That virtue is only known to those who are warm, affectionate, and capable of love. Thirdly, our philosophy denies the significance of each individual personality. It’s easy to see that if I deny the personality of some Natalya Stepanovna, it’s absolutely nothing to me whether she is insulted or not. To-day one insults her dignity as a human being and pays her Blutgeld, and next day thinks no more of her.
“Thoughts about the darkness of the grave didn't stop me from appreciating busts and legs. Our dear Baron's high ideals don't stop him from going to Vukolovka on Saturdays for romantic adventures. Honestly, looking back, my attitude toward women was pretty insulting. Now, when I think of that high school girl, I blush for my past thoughts, but at that time, my conscience was totally clear. I, the child of respectable parents, a Christian who had a good education, not naturally wicked or stupid, felt no discomfort when I gave women Blutgeld, as the Germans call it, or when I leered at high school girls. . . . The problem is that youth has its demands, and our philosophy doesn’t fundamentally oppose those demands, whether they're good or terrible. Someone who knows life is pointless and death is unavoidable isn’t interested in battling nature or the idea of sin: whether you fight or not, you’ll still die and decay the same way. . . . Secondly, my friends, our philosophy teaches even very young people something called reasonableness. The dominance of reason over emotion is overwhelming among us. Direct feelings, inspiration—everything gets stifled by trivial analysis. Where there's reasonableness, there's coldness, and let's be honest—cold people know nothing about chastity. That virtue is only understood by those who are warm, affectionate, and capable of love. Thirdly, our philosophy dismisses the importance of individual personality. It's clear that if I disregard the personality of someone like Natalya Stepanovna, I really don’t care if she gets insulted or not. Today someone insults her dignity as a human being and pays her Blutgeld, and the next day forgets all about her.”
“So I sat in the summer-house and watched the young ladies. Another woman’s figure appeared in the avenue, with fair hair, her head uncovered and a white knitted shawl on her shoulders. She walked along the avenue, then came into the summer-house, and taking hold of the parapet, looked indifferently below and into the distance over the sea. As she came in she paid no attention to me, as though she did not notice me. I scrutinised her from foot to head (not from head to foot, as one scrutinises men) and found that she was young, not more than five-and-twenty, nice-looking, with a good figure, in all probability married and belonging to the class of respectable women. She was dressed as though she were at home, but fashionably and with taste, as ladies are, as a rule, in N.
“So I sat in the summer house and watched the young ladies. Another woman appeared in the pathway, with fair hair, her head uncovered and a white knitted shawl draped over her shoulders. She walked along the path, then entered the summer house, and leaning on the railing, looked down and out at the sea with indifference. When she came in, she ignored my presence, as if I didn’t exist. I examined her from foot to head (not head to foot, as one might do with men) and noticed that she was young, probably not more than twenty-five, attractive, with a nice figure, most likely married and part of the respectable class. She was dressed casually, but with style and taste, like ladies typically are in N.”
“‘This one would do nicely,’ I thought, looking at her handsome figure and her arms; ‘she is all right. . . . She is probably the wife of some doctor or schoolmaster. . . .’
"‘This one would be perfect,’ I thought, looking at her attractive figure and arms; ‘she seems like a good choice. . . . She’s probably the wife of some doctor or teacher. . . .’"
“But to make up to her—that is, to make her the heroine of one of those impromptu affairs to which tourists are so prone—was not easy and, indeed, hardly possible. I felt that as I gazed at her face. The way she looked, and the expression of her face, suggested that the sea, the smoke in the distance, and the sky had bored her long, long ago, and wearied her sight. She seemed to be tired, bored, and thinking about something dreary, and her face had not even that fussy, affectedly indifferent expression which one sees in the face of almost every woman when she is conscious of the presence of an unknown man in her vicinity.
“But trying to impress her—that is, to make her the star of one of those spontaneous adventures that tourists often enjoy—was not easy and, honestly, hardly possible. I felt that as I looked at her face. The way she appeared and the expression on her face suggested that the sea, the smoke in the distance, and the sky had worn her out a long time ago, and that she was tired of seeing them. She seemed exhausted, bored, and lost in some gloomy thoughts, and her face didn't even have that fussy, pretentiously indifferent look that you see on almost every woman when she's aware of an unknown man nearby.”
“The fair-haired lady took a bored and passing glance at me, sat down on a seat and sank into reverie, and from her face I saw that she had no thoughts for me, and that I, with my Petersburg appearance, did not arouse in her even simple curiosity. But yet I made up my mind to speak to her, and asked: ‘Madam, allow me to ask you at what time do the waggonettes go from here to the town?’
“The blonde lady gave me a brief, indifferent look, sat down on a seat, and fell into thought. From her expression, it was clear that I didn't cross her mind at all, and that my Petersburg look didn't even spark her basic curiosity. Still, I decided to talk to her and asked, ‘Excuse me, could you tell me what time the wagons leave for the town?’”
“‘At ten or eleven, I believe. . . .’”
“‘At ten or eleven, I think. . . .’”
“I thanked her. She glanced at me once or twice, and suddenly there was a gleam of curiosity, then of something like wonder on her passionless face. . . . I made haste to assume an indifferent expression and to fall into a suitable attitude; she was catching on! She suddenly jumped up from the seat, as though something had bitten her, and examining me hurriedly, with a gentle smile, asked timidly:
“I thanked her. She looked at me a couple of times, and then there was a spark of curiosity, followed by something like wonder on her emotionless face. . . . I quickly tried to look indifferent and get into the right position; she was starting to get it! Suddenly, she jumped up from her seat as if something had stung her, and, examining me quickly, with a soft smile, asked shyly:
“‘Oh, aren’t you Ananyev?’
“‘Oh, aren’t you Ananyev?’”
“‘Yes, I am Ananyev,’ I answered.
"Yeah, I'm Ananyev," I replied.
“‘And don’t you recognise me? No?’
“‘And don't you recognize me? No?’”
“I was a little confused. I looked intently at her, and—would you believe it?—I recognised her not from her face nor her figure, but from her gentle, weary smile. It was Natalya Stepanovna, or, as she was called, Kisotchka, the very girl I had been head over ears in love with seven or eight years before, when I was wearing the uniform of a high-school boy. The doings of far, vanished days, the days of long ago. . . . I remember this Kisotchka, a thin little high-school girl of fifteen or sixteen, when she was something just for a schoolboy’s taste, created by nature especially for Platonic love. What a charming little girl she was! Pale, fragile, light—she looked as though a breath would send her flying like a feather to the skies—a gentle, perplexed face, little hands, soft long hair to her belt, a waist as thin as a wasp’s—altogether something ethereal, transparent like moonlight—in fact, from the point of view of a high-school boy a peerless beauty. . . . Wasn’t I in love with her! I did not sleep at night. I wrote verses. . . . Sometimes in the evenings she would sit on a seat in the park while we schoolboys crowded round her, gazing reverently; in response to our compliments, our sighing, and attitudinising, she would shrink nervously from the evening damp, screw up her eyes, and smile gently, and at such times she was awfully like a pretty little kitten. As we gazed at her every one of us had a desire to caress her and stroke her like a cat, hence her nickname of Kisotchka.
“I was a bit confused. I looked closely at her, and—can you believe it?—I didn’t recognize her by her face or her figure, but rather by her gentle, tired smile. It was Natalya Stepanovna, or as she was called, Kisotchka, the very girl I had been completely in love with seven or eight years ago when I was still in high school. The memories of those long-gone days... I remember this Kisotchka, a thin little high school girl of fifteen or sixteen, who was just perfect for a schoolboy’s taste, made by nature for Platonic love. What a charming little girl she was! Pale, delicate, and light—she looked as if a gentle breeze could lift her like a feather to the sky—a sweet, puzzled face, small hands, soft long hair down to her waist, a waist as thin as a wasp’s—altogether something ethereal, transparent like moonlight—in fact, from a high school boy’s perspective, she was an unparalleled beauty... Wasn’t I in love with her! I couldn't sleep at night. I wrote poems... Sometimes in the evenings, she would sit on a bench in the park while we schoolboys gathered around her, gazing in awe; in response to our compliments, our sighs, and our poses, she would nervously shrink from the evening chill, squint her eyes, and smile gently, and during those moments, she looked just like a cute little kitten. As we looked at her, each of us felt the urge to pet her and stroke her like a cat, which is how she got her nickname, Kisotchka.
“In the course of the seven or eight years since we had met, Kisotchka had greatly changed. She had grown more robust and stouter, and had quite lost the resemblance to a soft, fluffy kitten. It was not that her features looked old or faded, but they had somehow lost their brilliance and looked sterner, her hair seemed shorter, she looked taller, and her shoulders were quite twice as broad, and what was most striking, there was already in her face the expression of motherliness and resignation commonly seen in respectable women of her age, and this, of course, I had never seen in her before. . . . In short, of the school-girlish and the Platonic her face had kept the gentle smile and nothing more. . . .
“In the seven or eight years since we first met, Kisotchka had changed a lot. She had become more solid and thicker, losing any resemblance to a soft, fluffy kitten. It wasn't that her features looked old or faded, but they seemed to have lost their brightness and looked more serious; her hair appeared shorter, she looked taller, and her shoulders were definitely broader. Most noticeably, her face now showed the nurturing and resigned expression often found in respectable women her age, something I had never seen in her before. In short, from her school-girl days, the only thing her face kept was the gentle smile and nothing more…”
“We got into conversation. Learning that I was already an engineer, Kisotchka was immensely delighted.
“We started talking. When Kisotchka found out that I was already an engineer, she was incredibly happy.”
“‘How good that is!’ she said, looking joyfully into my face. ‘Ah, how good! And how splendid you all are! Of all who left with you, not one has been a failure—they have all turned out well. One an engineer, another a doctor, a third a teacher, another, they say, is a celebrated singer in Petersburg. . . . You are all splendid, all of you. . . . Ah, how good that is!’
“‘How wonderful that is!’ she said, looking happily into my face. ‘Ah, how great! And how amazing all of you are! Of everyone who left with you, not one has failed—they've all succeeded. One's an engineer, another's a doctor, a third's a teacher, and one, they say, is a famous singer in Petersburg. . . . You’re all amazing, every one of you. . . . Ah, how wonderful that is!’”
“Kisotchka’s eyes shone with genuine goodwill and gladness. She was admiring me like an elder sister or a former governess. ‘While I looked at her sweet face and thought, It wouldn’t be bad to get hold of her to-day!’
“Kisotchka’s eyes sparkled with true kindness and happiness. She looked at me like an older sister or a former governess. ‘As I gazed at her lovely face, I thought, It wouldn’t be a bad idea to connect with her today!’”
“‘Do you remember, Natalya Stepanovna,’ I asked her, ‘how I once brought you in the park a bouquet with a note in it? You read my note, and such a look of bewilderment came into your face. . . .’
“‘Do you remember, Natalya Stepanovna,’ I asked her, ‘how I once brought you a bouquet in the park with a note in it? You read my note, and a look of confusion filled your face. . . .’
“‘No, I don’t remember that,’ she said, laughing. ‘But I remember how you wanted to challenge Florens to a duel over me. . . .’
“‘No, I don’t remember that,’ she said, laughing. ‘But I remember how you wanted to challenge Florens to a duel over me. . . .’
“‘Well, would you believe it, I don’t remember that. . . .’
“‘Well, can you believe it? I don’t remember that. . .’”
“‘Well, that’s all over and done with . . .’ sighed Kisotchka. ‘At one time I was your idol, and now it is my turn to look up to all of you. . . .’
“‘Well, that's all in the past . . .’ sighed Kisotchka. ‘I used to be your idol, and now it's my turn to look up to all of you. . . .’”
“From further conversation I learned that two years after leaving the high school, Kisotchka had been married to a resident in the town who was half Greek, half Russian, had a post either in the bank or in the insurance society, and also carried on a trade in corn. He had a strange surname, something in the style of Populaki or Skarandopulo. . . . Goodness only knows—I have forgotten. . . . As a matter of fact, Kisotchka spoke little and with reluctance about herself. The conversation was only about me. She asked me about the College of Engineering, about my comrades, about Petersburg, about my plans, and everything I said moved her to eager delight and exclamations of, ‘Oh, how good that is!’
“From our conversation, I found out that two years after graduating from high school, Kisotchka had married a local guy who was half Greek and half Russian. He worked either at the bank or in the insurance company and also dealt in corn. He had a pretty unusual last name, something like Populaki or Skarandopulo... Goodness knows—I’ve forgotten... In fact, Kisotchka talked very little and seemed reluctant to share much about herself. The entire conversation focused on me. She asked about the College of Engineering, my friends, Petersburg, my plans, and everything I said brought her eager excitement and exclamations of, ‘Oh, how great that is!’”
“We went down to the sea and walked over the sands; then when the night air began to blow chill and damp from the sea we climbed up again. All the while our talk was of me and of the past. We walked about until the reflection of the sunset had died away from the windows of the summer villas.
“We went down to the sea and walked over the sand; then, when the night air started to blow cold and damp from the sea, we climbed back up. Throughout our time together, our conversation was about me and the past. We walked around until the reflection of the sunset faded from the windows of the summer villas.”
“‘Come in and have some tea,’ Kisotchka suggested. ‘The samovar must have been on the table long ago. . . . I am alone at home,’ she said, as her villa came into sight through the green of the acacias. ‘My husband is always in the town and only comes home at night, and not always then, and I must own that I am so dull that it’s simply deadly.’
“‘Come in and have some tea,’ Kisotchka suggested. ‘The samovar must have been on the table for a while now. . . . I’m home alone,’ she said as her villa appeared through the greenery of the acacias. ‘My husband is always in town and only comes home at night, and not even every night, and I have to admit that I’m so bored it’s just unbearable.’”
“I followed her in, admiring her back and shoulders. I was glad that she was married. Married women are better material for temporary love affairs than girls. I was also pleased that her husband was not at home. At the same time I felt that the affair would not come off. . . .
“I followed her in, admiring her back and shoulders. I was glad that she was married. Married women are better for temporary love affairs than single girls. I was also pleased that her husband wasn’t home. At the same time, I felt that the affair wouldn’t happen...”
“We went into the house. The rooms were smallish and had low ceilings, and the furniture was typical of the summer villa (Russians like having at their summer villas uncomfortable heavy, dingy furniture which they are sorry to throw away and have nowhere to put), but from certain details I could observe that Kisotchka and her husband were not badly off, and must be spending five or six thousand roubles a year. I remember that in the middle of the room which Kisotchka called the dining-room there was a round table, supported for some reason on six legs, and on it a samovar and cups. At the edge of the table lay an open book, a pencil, and an exercise book. I glanced at the book and recognised it as ‘Malinin and Burenin’s Arithmetical Examples.’ It was open, as I now remember, at the ‘Rules of Compound Interest.’
“We went into the house. The rooms were kind of small and had low ceilings, and the furniture was typical for a summer villa (Russians tend to have heavy, dingy furniture at their summer villas that they feel bad about getting rid of and have nowhere else to store), but from a few details, I could see that Kisotchka and her husband were doing okay financially and must be spending about five or six thousand roubles a year. I remember that in the middle of the room that Kisotchka called the dining room, there was a round table, oddly supported by six legs, and on it sat a samovar and cups. On the edge of the table lay an open book, a pencil, and an exercise book. I glanced at the book and recognized it as 'Malinin and Burenin’s Arithmetical Examples.' It was open, I now remember, to the 'Rules of Compound Interest.'”
“‘To whom are you giving lessons?’ I asked Kisotchka.
“‘Who are you giving lessons to?’ I asked Kisotchka.”
“‘Nobody,’ she answered. ‘I am just doing some. . . . I have nothing to do, and am so bored that I think of the old days and do sums.’
“‘Nobody,’ she replied. ‘I’m just doing some... I have nothing to do, and I’m so bored that I keep thinking about the old days and doing math.’”
“‘Have you any children?’
"Do you have any kids?"
“‘I had a baby boy, but he only lived a week.’
“I had a baby boy, but he only lived for a week.”
“We began drinking tea. Admiring me, Kisotchka said again how good it was that I was an engineer, and how glad she was of my success. And the more she talked and the more genuinely she smiled, the stronger was my conviction that I should go away without having gained my object. I was a connoisseur in love affairs in those days, and could accurately gauge my chances of success. You can boldly reckon on success if you are tracking down a fool or a woman as much on the look out for new experiences and sensations as yourself, or an adventuress to whom you are a stranger. If you come across a sensible and serious woman, whose face has an expression of weary submission and goodwill, who is genuinely delighted at your presence, and, above all, respects you, you may as well turn back. To succeed in that case needs longer than one day.
“We started drinking tea. Admiring me, Kisotchka once again mentioned how great it was that I was an engineer and how happy she was about my success. The more she talked and genuinely smiled, the more I felt convinced that I would leave without achieving what I wanted. I was quite experienced in romantic matters back then and could accurately assess my chances. You can confidently expect success if you're pursuing someone naive or a woman who's just as eager for new experiences and sensations as you are, or an adventuress who doesn't know you. But if you meet a sensible and serious woman whose face shows tired acceptance and kindness, who genuinely enjoys your company, and most importantly, respects you, you might as well give up. Succeeding in that situation takes longer than a single day.”
“And by evening light Kisotchka seemed even more charming than by day. She attracted me more and more, and apparently she liked me too, and the surroundings were most appropriate: the husband not at home, no servants visible, stillness around. . . . Though I had little confidence in success, I made up my mind to begin the attack anyway. First of all it was necessary to get into a familiar tone and to change Kisotchka’s lyrically earnest mood into a more frivolous one.
“And by evening light, Kisotchka looked even more captivating than during the day. I found myself drawn to her more and more, and it seemed like she liked me too. The atmosphere was just right: her husband wasn't home, there were no servants around, and everything was quiet. . . . Even though I didn't have much faith in my chances, I decided to go for it anyway. First, I needed to establish a more casual vibe and shift Kisotchka’s deeply serious mood into something more playful.”
“‘Let us change the conversation, Natalya Stepanovna,’ I began. 'Let us talk of something amusing. First of all, allow me, for the sake of old times, to call you Kisotchka.’
“‘Let’s change the subject, Natalya Stepanovna,’ I started. ‘Let’s talk about something fun. First of all, for old times’ sake, let me call you Kisotchka.’”
“She allowed me.
“She let me.
“‘Tell me, please, Kisotchka,’ I went on, ‘what is the matter with all the fair sex here. What has happened to them? In old days they were all so moral and virtuous, and now, upon my word, if one asks about anyone, one is told such things that one is quite shocked at human nature. . . . One young lady has eloped with an officer; another has run away and carried off a high-school boy with her; another—a married woman—has run away from her husband with an actor; a fourth has left her husband and gone off with an officer, and so on and so on. It’s a regular epidemic! If it goes on like this there won’t be a girl or a young woman left in your town!’
“‘Please tell me, Kisotchka,’ I continued, ‘what's going on with all the women here? What happened to them? In the past, they were so moral and virtuous, and now, honestly, if you ask about anyone, you hear things that completely shock you about human nature... One young woman has run off with an officer; another has eloped with a high school student; another—a married woman—has left her husband for an actor; a fourth has abandoned her husband to be with an officer, and it just keeps going! It’s like an epidemic! At this rate, there won’t be a single girl or young woman left in your town!’”
“I spoke in a vulgar, playful tone. If Kisotchka had laughed in response I should have gone on in this style: ‘You had better look out, Kisotchka, or some officer or actor will be carrying you off!’ She would have dropped her eyes and said: ‘As though anyone would care to carry me off; there are plenty younger and better looking . . . .’ And I should have said: ‘Nonsense, Kisotchka—I for one should be delighted!’ And so on in that style, and it would all have gone swimmingly. But Kisotchka did not laugh in response; on the contrary, she looked grave and sighed.
“I spoke in a casual, playful tone. If Kisotchka had laughed back, I would have continued like this: ‘You better watch out, Kisotchka, or some officer or actor might sweep you away!’ She would have looked down and said, ‘As if anyone would want to take me; there are plenty of younger and better-looking options out there…’ And I would have replied, ‘Nonsense, Kisotchka—I would be thrilled!’ And the banter would have flowed perfectly. But Kisotchka didn’t laugh; instead, she looked serious and sighed.
“‘All you have been told is true,’ she said. ‘My cousin Sonya ran away from her husband with an actor. Of course, it is wrong. . . . Everyone ought to bear the lot that fate has laid on him, but I do not condemn them or blame them. . . . Circumstances are sometimes too strong for anyone!’
“‘Everything you've been told is true,’ she said. ‘My cousin Sonya left her husband for an actor. Of course, it’s wrong... Everyone should accept the fate they've been given, but I don’t judge them or blame them... Sometimes circumstances are too powerful for anyone!’”
“‘That is so, Kisotchka, but what circumstances can produce a regular epidemic?’
“‘That’s true, Kisotchka, but what conditions can create a regular epidemic?’”
“‘It’s very simple and easy to understand,’ replied Kisotchka, raising her eyebrows. ‘There is absolutely nothing for us educated girls and women to do with ourselves. Not everyone is able to go to the University, to become a teacher, to live for ideas, in fact, as men do. They have to be married. . . . And whom would you have them marry? You boys leave the high-school and go away to the University, never to return to your native town again, and you marry in Petersburg or Moscow, while the girls remain. . . . To whom are they to be married? Why, in the absence of decent cultured men, goodness knows what sort of men they marry—stockbrokers and such people of all kinds, who can do nothing but drink and get into rows at the club. . . . A girl married like that, at random. . . . And what is her life like afterwards? You can understand: a well-educated, cultured woman is living with a stupid, boorish man; if she meets a cultivated man, an officer, an actor, or a doctor—well, she gets to love him, her life becomes unbearable to her, and she runs away from her husband. And one can’t condemn her!’
“‘It’s really simple and easy to get,’ replied Kisotchka, raising her eyebrows. ‘There’s absolutely nothing for us educated girls and women to do with ourselves. Not everyone can go to university, become a teacher, and live for ideas like men do. They have to get married... And who do you expect them to marry? You boys finish high school and head off to university, never to come back to your hometown, and you marry in Petersburg or Moscow, while the girls are left here... Who are they supposed to marry? Without decent, cultured men around, who knows what kind of men they end up with—stockbrokers and all sorts—who can only drink and cause trouble at the club... A girl married off like that, without thought... And what’s her life like after that? You can see it: a well-educated, cultured woman stuck with a stupid, rude man; if she meets a cultured man, like an officer, an actor, or a doctor—she falls for him, her life becomes unbearable, and she runs away from her husband. And you can’t blame her!’”
“‘If that is so, Kisotchka, why get married?’ I asked.
“‘If that’s the case, Kisotchka, why get married?’ I asked.”
“‘Yes, of course,’ said Kisotchka with a sigh, ‘but you know every girl fancies that any husband is better than nothing. . . . Altogether life is horrid here, Nikolay Anastasyevitch, very horrid! Life is stifling for a girl and stifling when one is married. . . . Here they laugh at Sonya for having run away from her husband, but if they could see into her soul they would not laugh. . . .’”
“‘Yes, of course,’ said Kisotchka with a sigh, ‘but you know every girl thinks that any husband is better than none. . . . Overall, life is terrible here, Nikolay Anastasyevitch, really terrible! Life is suffocating for a girl and just as suffocating when she’s married. . . . They laugh at Sonya for leaving her husband, but if they could see into her soul, they wouldn’t laugh. . . .’”
Azorka began barking outside again. He growled angrily at some one, then howled miserably and dashed with all his force against the wall of the hut. . . . Ananyev’s face was puckered with pity; he broke off his story and went out. For two minutes he could be heard outside comforting his dog. “Good dog! poor dog!”
Azorka started barking outside again. He growled angrily at someone, then howled sadly and ran full force into the wall of the hut... Ananyev's face was twisted with pity; he stopped his story and went outside. For two minutes, he could be heard reassuring his dog. "Good boy! Poor dog!"
“Our Nikolay Anastasyevitch is fond of talking,” said Von Schtenberg, laughing. “He is a good fellow,” he added after a brief silence.
“Our Nikolay Anastasyevitch loves to talk,” said Von Schtenberg, laughing. “He’s a great guy,” he added after a short pause.
Returning to the hut, the engineer filled up our glasses and, smiling and stroking his chest, went on:
Returning to the
“And so my attack was unsuccessful. There was nothing for it, I put off my unclean thoughts to a more favourable occasion, resigned myself to my failure and, as the saying is, waved my hand. What is more, under the influence of Kisotchka’s voice, the evening air, and the stillness, I gradually myself fell into a quiet sentimental mood. I remember I sat in an easy chair by the wide-open window and glanced at the trees and darkened sky. The outlines of the acacias and the lime trees were just the same as they had been eight years before; just as then, in the days of my childhood, somewhere far away there was the tinkling of a wretched piano, and the public had just the same habit of sauntering to and fro along the avenues, but the people were not the same. Along the avenues there walked now not my comrades and I and the object of my adoration, but schoolboys and young ladies who were strangers. And I felt melancholy. When to my inquiries about acquaintances I five times received from Kisotchka the answer, ‘He is dead,’ my melancholy changed into the feeling one has at the funeral service of a good man. And sitting there at the window, looking at the promenading public and listening to the tinkling piano, I saw with my own eyes for the first time in my life with what eagerness one generation hastens to replace another, and what a momentous significance even some seven or eight years may have in a man’s life!
“And so my attempt was unsuccessful. I had no choice but to put off my inappropriate thoughts for a later time, accept my failure, and, as the saying goes, wave it off. What's more, under the influence of Kisotchka’s voice, the evening air, and the stillness, I gradually slipped into a quiet sentimental mood. I remember sitting in a comfy chair by the wide-open window and glancing at the trees and darkening sky. The shapes of the acacias and lime trees were just like they had been eight years ago; just as back then, during my childhood, I could hear the distant sound of a sad piano, and the public still had the same habit of wandering up and down the avenues, but the people were different. Instead of my friends, myself, and the object of my affection, there were now schoolboys and young ladies who were strangers. And I felt a sense of melancholy. When I asked about acquaintances and received the answer ‘He is dead’ five times from Kisotchka, my melancholy transformed into the feeling one gets at the funeral of a good man. Sitting there at the window, watching the people stroll by and listening to the tinkling piano, I saw for the first time how eagerly one generation rushes to replace another, and how significant even a mere seven or eight years can be in a person’s life!”
“Kisotchka put a bottle of red wine on the table. I drank it off, grew sentimental, and began telling a long story about something or other. Kisotchka listened as before, admiring me and my cleverness. And time passed. The sky was by now so dark that the outlines of the acacias and lime trees melted into one, the public was no longer walking up and down the avenues, the piano was silent and the only sound was the even murmur of the sea.
“Kisotchka placed a bottle of red wine on the table. I finished it, got sentimental, and started sharing a long story about something or other. Kisotchka listened as usual, admiring me and my cleverness. And time went by. The sky had darkened so much that the shapes of the acacias and lime trees blended together, there were no more people strolling up and down the avenues, the piano was quiet, and the only sound was the soft murmur of the sea.”
“Young people are all alike. Be friendly to a young man, make much of him, regale him with wine, let him understand that he is attractive and he will sit on and on, forget that it is time to go, and talk and talk and talk. . . . His hosts cannot keep their eyes open, it’s past their bedtime, and he still stays and talks. That was what I did. Once I chanced to look at the clock; it was half-past ten. I began saying good-bye.
“Young people are all the same. Be nice to a young guy, make a big deal out of him, treat him to drinks, let him know he’s good-looking, and he’ll just keep sitting there, oblivious to the time, and talk and talk and talk... His hosts can barely keep their eyes open since it’s way past their bedtime, but he just stays and chats. That’s exactly what I did. One time, I happened to glance at the clock; it was 10:30. I started saying my goodbyes."
“‘Have another glass before your walk,’ said Kisotchka.
“‘Have another glass before your walk,’ said Kisotchka.
“I took another glass, again I began talking at length, forgot it was time to go, and sat down. Then there came the sound of men’s voices, footsteps and the clank of spurs.
“I took another glass, and once again I started talking for a while, lost track of time to leave, and sat down. Then I heard the sounds of men’s voices, footsteps, and the clanking of spurs.
“‘I think my husband has come in . . . .’ said Kisotchka listening.
“‘I think my husband is back . . . .’ said Kisotchka, listening.
“The door creaked, two voices came now from the passage and I saw two men pass the door that led into the dining-room: one a stout, solid, dark man with a hooked nose, wearing a straw hat, and the other a young officer in a white tunic. As they passed the door they both glanced casually and indifferently at Kisotchka and me, and I fancied both of them were drunk.
“The door creaked, and I heard two voices coming from the hallway. I saw two men walk by the door that led into the dining room: one was a stout, solid, dark man with a hooked nose, wearing a straw hat, and the other was a young officer in a white uniform. As they walked past the door, they both glanced casually and indifferently at Kisotchka and me, and I thought both of them seemed drunk.”
“‘She told you a lie then, and you believed her!’ we heard a loud voice with a marked nasal twang say a minute later. ‘To begin with, it wasn’t at the big club but at the little one.’
“‘She lied to you, and you fell for it!’ we heard a loud voice with a strong nasal twang say a minute later. ‘First of all, it wasn’t at the big club but at the small one.’”
“‘You are angry, Jupiter, so you are wrong . . . .’ said another voice, obviously the officer’s, laughing and coughing. ‘I say, can I stay the night? Tell me honestly, shall I be in your way?’
“‘You’re angry, Jupiter, so you’re mistaken . . . .’ said another voice, clearly the officer’s, laughing and coughing. ‘I’m asking, can I stay the night? Just tell me honestly, will I be a bother?’”
“‘What a question! Not only you can, but you must. What will you have, beer or wine?’
“'What a question! Not only can you, but you have to. What do you want, beer or wine?'”
“They were sitting two rooms away from us, talking loudly, and apparently feeling no interest in Kisotchka or her visitor. A perceptible change came over Kisotchka on her husband’s arrival. At first she flushed red, then her face wore a timid, guilty expression; she seemed to be troubled by some anxiety, and I began to fancy that she was ashamed to show me her husband and wanted me to go.
“They were sitting two rooms away from us, talking loudly, and clearly not interested in Kisotchka or her guest. A noticeable change came over Kisotchka when her husband arrived. At first, she turned red, then her face showed a shy, guilty look; she seemed to be anxious, and I started to think that she was embarrassed to introduce me to her husband and wanted me to leave.”
“I began taking leave. Kisotchka saw me to the front door. I remember well her gentle mournful smile and kind patient eyes as she pressed my hand and said:
“I started taking time off. Kisotchka walked me to the front door. I clearly remember her soft, sad smile and kind, understanding eyes as she held my hand and said:
“‘Most likely we shall never see each other again. Well, God give you every blessing. Thank you!’
“‘It’s very likely we won’t see each other again. Well, I wish you all the best. Thank you!’”
“Not one sigh, not one fine phrase. As she said good-bye she was holding the candle in her hand; patches of light danced over her face and neck, as though chasing her mournful smile. I pictured to myself the old Kisotchka whom one used to want to stroke like a cat, I looked intently at the present Kisotchka, and for some reason recalled her words: ‘Everyone ought to bear the lot that fate has laid on him.’ And I had a pang at my heart. I instinctively guessed how it was, and my conscience whispered to me that I, in my happiness and indifference, was face to face with a good, warm-hearted, loving creature, who was broken by suffering.
“Not a single sigh, not one beautiful phrase. As she said goodbye, she was holding the candle in her hand; patches of light danced over her face and neck, as if they were chasing her sad smile. I imagined the old Kisotchka, the one people used to want to pet like a cat. I stared at the current Kisotchka and, for some reason, remembered her words: ‘Everyone has to accept the fate they’ve been given.’ It gave me a twinge in my heart. I instinctively sensed what was happening, and my conscience reminded me that I, in my happiness and indifference, was standing in front of a good, warm-hearted, loving person who had been shattered by suffering.”
“I said good-bye and went to the gate. By now it was quite dark. In the south the evenings draw in early in July and it gets dark rapidly. Towards ten o’clock it is so dark that you can’t see an inch before your nose. I lighted a couple of dozen matches before, almost groping, I found my way to the gate.
“I said goodbye and walked to the gate. It was pretty dark now. In the south, evenings start to get dark early in July, and it goes dark quickly. By around ten o’clock, it's so dark that you can’t see an inch in front of your face. I lit a couple of dozen matches before, almost feeling my way, I found my way to the gate.”
“‘Cab!’ I shouted, going out of the gate; not a sound, not a sigh in answer. . . . ‘Cab,’ I repeated, ‘hey, Cab!’
“‘Cab!’ I shouted, stepping out of the gate; not a sound, not even a sigh in response. . . . ‘Cab,’ I said again, ‘hey, Cab!’”
“But there was no cab of any description. The silence of the grave. I could hear nothing but the murmur of the drowsy sea and the beating of my heart from the wine. Lifting my eyes to the sky I found not a single star. It was dark and sullen. Evidently the sky was covered with clouds. For some reason I shrugged my shoulders, smiling foolishly, and once more, not quite so resolutely, shouted for a cab.
“But there was no cab in sight. It was dead quiet. I could only hear the soft sound of the sleepy sea and my heart beating from the wine. Looking up at the sky, I saw not a single star. It was dark and gloomy. Clearly, the sky was filled with clouds. For some reason, I shrugged my shoulders, smiling stupidly, and once again, not quite so confidently, called out for a cab.”
“The echo answered me. A walk of three miles across open country and in the pitch dark was not an agreeable prospect. Before making up my mind to walk, I spent a long time deliberating and shouting for a cab; then, shrugging my shoulders, I walked lazily back to the copse, with no definite object in my mind. It was dreadfully dark in the copse. Here and there between the trees the windows of the summer villas glowed a dull red. A raven, disturbed by my steps and the matches with which I lighted my way to the summer-house, flew from tree to tree and rustled among the leaves. I felt vexed and ashamed, and the raven seemed to understand this, and croaked 'krrra!’ I was vexed that I had to walk, and ashamed that I had stayed on at Kisotchka’s, chatting like a boy.
“The echo responded to me. A three-mile walk across open country in pitch darkness wasn’t an appealing thought. Before deciding to walk, I spent a while weighing my options and calling for a cab; then, shrugging my shoulders, I slowly made my way back to the copse, aimlessly. It was incredibly dark in the copse. Here and there, between the trees, the windows of the summer villas glowed a dim red. A raven, startled by my footsteps and the matches I used to light my way to the summer house, flitted from tree to tree and rustled in the leaves. I felt annoyed and embarrassed, and the raven seemed to sense this, cawing 'krrra!’ I was annoyed that I had to walk and embarrassed that I had lingered at Kisotchka’s, chatting like a kid.”
“I made my way to the summer-house, felt for the seat and sat down. Far below me, behind a veil of thick darkness, the sea kept up a low angry growl. I remember that, as though I were blind, I could see neither sky nor sea, nor even the summer-house in which I was sitting. And it seemed to me as though the whole world consisted only of the thoughts that were straying through my head, dizzy from the wine, and of an unseen power murmuring monotonously somewhere below. And afterwards, as I sank into a doze, it began to seem that it was not the sea murmuring, but my thoughts, and that the whole world consisted of nothing but me. And concentrating the whole world in myself in this way, I thought no more of cabs, of the town, and of Kisotchka, and abandoned myself to the sensation I was so fond of: that is, the sensation of fearful isolation when you feel that in the whole universe, dark and formless, you alone exist. It is a proud, demoniac sensation, only possible to Russians whose thoughts and sensations are as large, boundless, and gloomy as their plains, their forests, and their snow. If I had been an artist I should certainly have depicted the expression of a Russian’s face when he sits motionless and, with his legs under him and his head clasped in his hands, abandons himself to this sensation. . . . And together with this sensation come thoughts of the aimlessness of life, of death, and of the darkness of the grave. . . . The thoughts are not worth a brass farthing, but the expression of face must be fine. . . .
“I made my way to the summer house, felt for the seat, and sat down. Far below me, behind a thick veil of darkness, the sea let out a low, angry growl. I remember that, even though I couldn’t see, I felt as if I were blind; there was neither sky nor sea, nor even the summer house I was in. It seemed to me that the entire world was just the swirling thoughts in my head, spinning from the wine, and an unseen power murmuring monotonously somewhere below. Later, as I drifted into a doze, it began to feel like it wasn’t the sea that was murmuring, but my own thoughts, and that the entire world revolved around me. With the whole universe condensed into myself like this, I stopped thinking about cabs, the town, or Kisotchka, and surrendered to the feeling I loved so much: a kind of fearful isolation where you sense that in the vast, dark, formless universe, you are the only one who exists. It’s a proud, demonic feeling, only possible for Russians whose thoughts and feelings are as big, limitless, and gloomy as their plains, forests, and snow. If I were an artist, I would definitely capture the expression on a Russian’s face when he sits still, with his legs tucked under him and his head in his hands, completely lost in this feeling... Along with this feeling come thoughts about the aimlessness of life, about death, and the darkness of the grave... The thoughts aren’t worth anything, but the expression on the face must be beautiful...”
“While I was sitting and dozing, unable to bring myself to get up—I was warm and comfortable—all at once, against the even monotonous murmur of the sea, as though upon a canvas, sounds began to grow distinct which drew my attention from myself. . . . Someone was coming hurriedly along the avenue. Reaching the summer-house this someone stopped, gave a sob like a little girl, and said in the voice of a weeping child: ‘My God, when will it all end! Merciful Heavens!’
“While I was sitting and dozing, too cozy to get up—I felt warm and comfortable—all of a sudden, against the steady, calming sound of the sea, I started to hear distinct noises that pulled my focus away from myself. . . . Someone was rushing down the path. When they reached the summer house, they stopped, let out a sob like a little girl, and said in a voice like a crying child: ‘Oh my God, when will it all end! Please, help us!’”
“Judging from the voice and the weeping I took it to be a little girl of ten or twelve. She walked irresolutely into the summer-house, sat down, and began half-praying, half-complaining aloud. . . .
“From the voice and the crying, I figured it was a little girl, about ten or twelve. She walked cautiously into the summer-house, sat down, and started half-praying, half-complaining out loud. . . .
“‘Merciful God!’ she said, crying, ‘it’s unbearable. It’s beyond all endurance! I suffer in silence, but I want to live too. . . . Oh, my God! My God!’
“‘Merciful God!’ she exclaimed, crying, ‘it’s unbearable. It’s beyond all endurance! I suffer in silence, but I want to live too. . . . Oh, my God! My God!’”
“And so on in the same style.
“And so on in the same style.
“I wanted to look at the child and speak to her. So as not to frighten her I first gave a loud sigh and coughed, then cautiously struck a match. . . . There was a flash of bright light in the darkness, which lighted up the weeping figure. It was Kisotchka!”
“I wanted to look at the child and talk to her. To avoid scaring her, I first let out a loud sigh and coughed, then carefully struck a match. . . . There was a flash of bright light in the darkness, illuminating the weeping figure. It was Kisotchka!”
“Marvels upon marvels!” said Von Schtenberg with a sigh. “Black night, the murmur of the sea; she in grief, he with a sensation of world—solitude. . . . It’s too much of a good thing. . . . You only want Circassians with daggers to complete it.”
“Unbelievable!” said Von Schtenberg with a sigh. “Dark night, the sound of the sea; she's in pain, he feels a sense of being alone in the world. . . . It’s too much of a good thing. . . . All we need now are Circassians with daggers to finish it off.”
“I am not telling you a tale, but fact.”
“I’m not sharing a story, but the truth.”
“Well, even if it is a fact . . . it all proves nothing, and there is nothing new in it. . . .”
“Well, even if it is a fact . . . it all proves nothing, and there’s nothing new in it. . . .”
“Wait a little before you find fault! Let me finish,” said Ananyev, waving his hand with vexation; “don’t interfere, please! I am not telling you, but the doctor. . . . Well,” he went on, addressing me and glancing askance at the student who bent over his books and seemed very well satisfied at having gibed at the engineer—“well, Kisotchka was not surprised or frightened at seeing me. It seemed as though she had known beforehand that she would find me in the summer-house. She was breathing in gasps and trembling all over as though in a fever, while her tear-stained face, so far as I could distinguish it as I struck match after match, was not the intelligent, submissive weary face I had seen before, but something different, which I cannot understand to this day. It did not express pain, nor anxiety, nor misery—nothing of what was expressed by her words and her tears. . . . I must own that, probably because I did not understand it, it looked to me senseless and as though she were drunk.
“Hold on a second before you criticize! Let me finish,” said Ananyev, waving his hand in annoyance. “Please don’t interrupt! I'm not talking to you, but to the doctor… Anyway,” he continued, turning to me and glancing sideways at the student who was bent over his books and seemed pleased with himself for having made fun of the engineer—“well, Kisotchka wasn’t surprised or scared to see me. It was like she already knew she would find me in the summer-house. She was gasping for breath and trembling all over, almost like she had a fever, and her tear-streaked face, as far as I could make out while striking match after match, wasn’t the intelligent, resigned, weary face I had seen before, but something different, something I still can’t understand. It didn’t show pain, anxiety, or misery—none of what her words and tears conveyed… I have to admit that, probably because I didn’t get it, it seemed senseless to me, almost like she was drunk.
“‘I can’t bear it,’ muttered Kisotchka in the voice of a crying child. ‘It’s too much for me, Nikolay Anastasyitch. Forgive me, Nikolav Anastasyitch. I can’t go on living like this. . . . I am going to the town to my mother’s. . . . Take me there. . . . Take me there, for God’s sake!’
“‘I can’t take it anymore,’ Kisotchka whispered like a sobbing child. ‘It’s too much for me, Nikolay Anastasyitch. Please forgive me, Nikolay Anastasyitch. I can’t keep living like this. . . . I’m going to the town to see my mom. . . . Please take me there. . . . Take me there, for God’s sake!’”
“In the presence of tears I can neither speak nor be silent. I was flustered and muttered some nonsense trying to comfort her.
“In the presence of tears, I can neither speak nor stay quiet. I was flustered and mumbled some nonsense trying to comfort her.
“‘No, no; I will go to my mother’s,’ said Kisotchka resolutely, getting up and clutching my arm convulsively (her hands and her sleeves were wet with tears). ‘Forgive me, Nikolay Anastasyitch, I am going. . . . I can bear no more. . . .’
“‘No, no; I’m going to my mom’s,’ Kisotchka said firmly, standing up and grabbing my arm tightly (her hands and sleeves were soaked with tears). ‘Please forgive me, Nikolay Anastasyitch, I have to go. . . . I can’t take it anymore. . . .’”
“‘Kisotchka, but there isn’t a single cab,’ I said. ‘How can you go?’
“‘Kisotchka, but there isn’t a single cab,’ I said. ‘How can you go?’”
“‘No matter, I’ll walk. . . . It’s not far. I can’t bear it. . . .’
“‘It’s fine, I’ll walk. . . . It’s not far. I can’t stand it. . . .’”
“I was embarrassed, but not touched. Kisotchka’s tears, her trembling, and the blank expression of her face suggested to me a trivial, French or Little Russian melodrama, in which every ounce of cheap shallow feeling is washed down with pints of tears.
“I felt embarrassed, but not moved. Kisotchka’s tears, her trembling, and the blank look on her face reminded me of a trivial French or Little Russian melodrama, where every bit of cheap, shallow emotion is drowned in pints of tears."
“I didn’t understand her, and knew I did not understand her; I ought to have been silent, but for some reason, most likely for fear my silence might be taken for stupidity, I thought fit to try to persuade her not to go to her mother’s, but to stay at home. When people cry, they don’t like their tears to be seen. And I lighted match after match and went on striking till the box was empty. What I wanted with this ungenerous illumination, I can’t conceive to this day. Cold-hearted people are apt to be awkward, and even stupid.
“I didn’t understand her, and I knew I didn’t understand her; I should have stayed quiet, but for some reason, probably because I was afraid my silence would be seen as ignorance, I felt it was necessary to try to convince her not to go to her mom’s, but to stay at home. When people cry, they don’t want their tears to be seen. I lit match after match and kept striking until the box was empty. I still can’t figure out what I wanted with this unkind light. Cold-hearted people tend to be clumsy and even foolish.”
“In the end Kisotchka took my arm and we set off. Going out of the gate, we turned to the right and sauntered slowly along the soft dusty road. It was dark. As my eyes grew gradually accustomed to the darkness, I began to distinguish the silhouettes of the old gaunt oaks and lime trees which bordered the road. The jagged, precipitous cliffs, intersected here and there by deep, narrow ravines and creeks, soon showed indistinctly, a black streak on the right. Low bushes nestled by the hollows, looking like sitting figures. It was uncanny. I looked sideways suspiciously at the cliffs, and the murmur of the sea and the stillness of the country alarmed my imagination. Kisotchka did not speak. She was still trembling, and before she had gone half a mile she was exhausted with walking and was out of breath. I too was silent.
“In the end, Kisotchka took my arm and we set off. As we walked out of the gate, we turned right and strolled slowly along the soft, dusty road. It was dark. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I started to make out the shapes of the old, thin oaks and lime trees lining the road. The jagged, steep cliffs, marked here and there by deep, narrow ravines and creeks, soon appeared faintly as a black line on the right. Low bushes sat in the hollows, looking like figures sitting down. It was eerie. I glanced suspiciously at the cliffs, and the sound of the sea along with the quiet of the countryside stirred my imagination. Kisotchka didn’t say anything. She was still trembling, and after walking less than half a mile, she was exhausted and out of breath. I remained silent as well.”
“Three-quarters of a mile from the Quarantine Station there was a deserted building of four storeys, with a very high chimney in which there had once been a steam flour mill. It stood solitary on the cliff, and by day it could be seen for a long distance, both by sea and by land. Because it was deserted and no one lived in it, and because there was an echo in it which distinctly repeated the steps and voices of passers-by, it seemed mysterious. Picture me in the dark night arm-in-arm with a woman who was running away from her husband near this tall long monster which repeated the sound of every step I took and stared at me fixedly with its hundred black windows. A normal young man would have been moved to romantic feelings in such surroundings, but I looked at the dark windows and thought: ‘All this is very impressive, but time will come when of that building and of Kisotchka and her troubles and of me with my thoughts, not one grain of dust will remain. . . . All is nonsense and vanity. . . .’
“Three-quarters of a mile from the Quarantine Station, there was an abandoned four-story building with a tall chimney that had once housed a steam flour mill. It stood alone on the cliff, visible from a distance both by sea and land during the day. Because it was empty and uninhabited, and there was an echo that distinctly reflected the footsteps and voices of those passing by, it felt mysterious. Imagine me in the dark night, arm-in-arm with a woman fleeing from her husband near this tall, looming structure that echoed every step I took, staring back at me with its hundred dark windows. A typical young man would probably feel romantic in such a setting, but I glanced at the dark windows and thought: ‘This is all very impressive, but eventually, nothing will remain of that building, of Kisotchka and her troubles, or of me and my thoughts—not even a grain of dust... Everything is meaningless and vain...’”
“When we reached the flour mill Kisotchka suddenly stopped, took her arm out of mine, and said, no longer in a childish voice, but in her own:
“When we got to the flour mill, Kisotchka suddenly stopped, pulled her arm away from mine, and said, no longer in a childish voice, but in her own:
“‘Nikolay Anastasvitch, I know all this seems strange to you. But I am terribly unhappy! And you cannot even imagine how unhappy! It’s impossible to imagine it! I don’t tell you about it because one can’t talk about it. . . . Such a life, such a life! . . .’
“‘Nikolay Anastasvitch, I know this all seems strange to you. But I am incredibly unhappy! And you can’t even begin to imagine how unhappy I am! It’s beyond imagination! I don’t share it with you because it’s something you just can’t talk about. . . . Such a life, such a life! . . .’”
“Kisotchka did not finish. She clenched her teeth and moaned as though she were doing her utmost not to scream with pain.
“Kisotchka did not finish. She gritted her teeth and groaned as if she were doing everything she could to avoid screaming from the pain.
“‘Such a life!’ she repeated with horror, with the cadence and the southern, rather Ukrainian accent which particularly in women gives to emotional speech the effect of singing. ‘It is a life! Ah, my God, my God! what does it mean? Oh, my God, my God!’
“‘Such a life!’ she repeated with horror, with the rhythm and the southern, somewhat Ukrainian accent that in women makes emotional speech sound like singing. ‘It is a life! Oh my God, my God! What does it mean? Oh my God, my God!’”
“As though trying to solve the riddle of her fate, she shrugged her shoulders in perplexity, shook her head, and clasped her hands. She spoke as though she were singing, moved gracefully, and reminded me of a celebrated Little Russian actress.
“As if trying to figure out the puzzle of her destiny, she shrugged her shoulders in confusion, shook her head, and clasped her hands. She spoke like she was singing, moved elegantly, and reminded me of a famous Little Russian actress.”
“‘Great God, it is as though I were in a pit,’ she went on. ‘If one could live for one minute in happiness as other people live! Oh, my God, my God! I have come to such disgrace that before a stranger I am running away from my husband by night, like some disreputable creature! Can I expect anything good after that?’
“‘Great God, it feels like I’m in a pit,’ she continued. ‘If only I could experience one minute of happiness like other people do! Oh, my God, my God! I’ve fallen into such disgrace that I’m sneaking away from my husband at night, like some shameful person! What can I expect after that?’”
“As I admired her movements and her voice, I began to feel annoyed that she was not on good terms with her husband. ‘It would be nice to have got on into relations with her!’ flitted through my mind; and this pitiless thought stayed in my brain, haunted me all the way and grew more and more alluring.
“As I admired her movements and her voice, I started to feel frustrated that she wasn’t getting along with her husband. ‘It would be nice to have connected with her!’ crossed my mind, and this relentless thought stuck in my head, haunting me all the way and becoming more and more tempting.”
“About a mile from the flour mill we had to turn to the left by the cemetery. At the turning by the corner of the cemetery there stood a stone windmill, and by it a little hut in which the miller lived. We passed the mill and the hut, turned to the left and reached the gates of the cemetery. There Kisotchka stopped and said:
“About a mile from the flour mill, we had to turn left by the cemetery. At the corner of the cemetery, there was a stone windmill, and next to it, a small hut where the miller lived. We passed the mill and the hut, turned left, and arrived at the gates of the cemetery. There, Kisotchka stopped and said:
“‘I am going back, Nikolay Anastasyitch! You go home, and God bless you, but I am going back. I am not frightened.’
“‘I’m going back, Nikolay Anastasyitch! You go home, and God bless you, but I’m going back. I’m not scared.’”
“‘Well, what next!’ I said, disconcerted. ‘If you are going, you had better go!’
"‘Well, what now!’ I said, feeling confused. ‘If you’re leaving, you should just go!’"
“‘I have been too hasty. . . . It was all about nothing that mattered. You and your talk took me back to the past and put all sort of ideas into my head. . . . I was sad and wanted to cry, and my husband said rude things to me before that officer, and I could not bear it. . . . And what’s the good of my going to the town to my mother’s? Will that make me any happier? I must go back. . . . But never mind . . . let us go on,’ said Kisotchka, and she laughed. 'It makes no difference!’
"’I was way too quick to judge. . . . It was all about nothing important. You and your conversation reminded me of the past and filled my head with all kinds of thoughts. . . . I felt sad and wanted to cry, and my husband said rude things to me in front of that officer, and I just couldn’t handle it. . . . And what’s the point of going to town to see my mom? Will that really make me any happier? I have to go back. . . . But never mind . . . let’s keep going,’ said Kisotchka, and she laughed. 'It doesn’t matter!’"
“I remembered that over the gate of the cemetery there was an inscription: ‘The hour will come wherein all they that lie in the grave will hear the voice of the Son of God.’ I knew very well that sooner or later I and Kisotchka and her husband and the officer in the white tunic would lie under the dark trees in the churchyard; I knew that an unhappy and insulted fellow-creature was walking beside me. All this I recognised distinctly, but at the same time I was troubled by an oppressive and unpleasant dread that Kisotchka would turn back, and that I should not manage to say to her what had to be said. Never at any other time in my life have thoughts of a higher order been so closely interwoven with the basest animal prose as on that night. . . . It was horrible!
“I remembered that over the gate of the cemetery there was an inscription: ‘The hour will come when all those who lie in the grave will hear the voice of the Son of God.’ I knew very well that sooner or later I, Kisotchka, her husband, and the officer in the white tunic would all lie under the dark trees in the churchyard; I knew that an unhappy and insulted fellow being was walking beside me. I clearly recognized all of this, but at the same time, I was overwhelmed by an oppressive and unpleasant fear that Kisotchka would turn back, and that I wouldn’t manage to say to her what needed to be said. Never in my life had thoughts of a higher order been so closely intertwined with the most base animal instincts as they were that night. . . . It was horrifying!
“Not far from the cemetery we found a cab. When we reached the High Street, where Kisotchka’s mother lived, we dismissed the cab and walked along the pavement. Kisotchka was silent all the while, while I looked at her, and I raged at myself, ‘Why don’t you begin? Now’s the time!’ About twenty paces from the hotel where I was staying, Kisotchka stopped by the lamp-post and burst into tears.
“Not far from the cemetery, we found a taxi. When we got to High Street, where Kisotchka’s mom lived, we got out of the taxi and walked along the sidewalk. Kisotchka stayed quiet the whole time, while I kept looking at her, angry with myself, thinking, ‘Why don’t you say something? Now’s the moment!’ About twenty steps from the hotel where I was staying, Kisotchka paused by the lamppost and started crying.”
“‘Nikolay Anastasyitch!’ she said, crying and laughing and looking at me with wet shining eyes, ‘I shall never forget your sympathy . . . . How good you are! All of you are so splendid—all of you! Honest, great-hearted, kind, clever. . . . Ah, how good that is!’
“‘Nikolay Anastasyitch!’ she said, both crying and laughing, looking at me with her shiny, wet eyes, ‘I will never forget your kindness . . . . You’re so wonderful! All of you are amazing—all of you! Honest, big-hearted, kind, smart. . . . Ah, how wonderful that is!’”
“She saw in me a highly educated man, advanced in every sense of the word, and on her tear-stained laughing face, together with the emotion and enthusiasm aroused by my personality, there was clearly written regret that she so rarely saw such people, and that God had not vouchsafed her the bliss of being the wife of one of them. She muttered, ‘Ah, how splendid it is!’ The childish gladness on her face, the tears, the gentle smile, the soft hair, which had escaped from under the kerchief, and the kerchief itself thrown carelessly over her head, in the light of the street lamp reminded me of the old Kisotchka whom one had wanted to stroke like a kitten.
“She saw me as a highly educated man, advanced in every sense of the word, and on her tear-stained, laughing face, along with the emotions and excitement sparked by my personality, there was a clear expression of regret that she so rarely encountered such people, and that God had not granted her the joy of being the wife of one of them. She murmured, ‘Ah, how wonderful it is!’ The childlike happiness on her face, the tears, the gentle smile, the soft hair that had slipped out from under the kerchief, and the kerchief itself tossed casually over her head, in the glow of the street lamp, reminded me of the old Kisotchka whom one wanted to pet like a kitten.”
“I could not restrain myself, and began stroking her hair, her shoulders, and her hands.
“I couldn't help myself, and started to stroke her hair, her shoulders, and her hands.
“‘Kisotchka, what do you want?’ I muttered. ‘I’ll go to the ends of the earth with you if you like! I will take you out of this hole and give you happiness. I love you. . . . Let us go, my sweet? Yes? Will you?’
“‘Kisotchka, what do you want?’ I mumbled. ‘I'll go to the ends of the earth with you if that's what you want! I’ll get you out of this dump and give you happiness. I love you. . . . Let’s go, my sweet? Yeah? Will you?’”
“Kisotchka’s face was flooded with bewilderment. She stepped back from the street lamp and, completely overwhelmed, gazed at me with wide-open eyes. I gripped her by the arm, began showering kisses on her face, her neck, her shoulders, and went on making vows and promises. In love affairs vows and promises are almost a physiological necessity. There’s no getting on without them. Sometimes you know you are lying and that promises are not necessary, but still you vow and protest. Kisotchka, utterly overwhelmed, kept staggering back and gazing at me with round eyes.
“Kisotchka’s face was filled with confusion. She stepped back from the street lamp and, completely stunned, stared at me with wide eyes. I grabbed her arm and started showering kisses on her face, her neck, her shoulders, while making vows and promises. In love, vows and promises are practically a requirement. You can't proceed without them. Sometimes you know you're not being truthful and that promises aren't needed, but you still make them and insist on them. Kisotchka, completely taken aback, kept stepping back and looking at me with wide eyes."
“‘Please don’t! Please don’t!’ she muttered, holding me off with her hands.
“‘Please don’t! Please don’t!’ she whispered, pushing me away with her hands.
“I clasped her tightly in my arms. All at once she broke into hysterical tears. And her face had the same senseless blank expression that I had seen in the summer-house when I lighted the matches. Without asking her consent, preventing her from speaking, I dragged her forcibly towards my hotel. She seemed almost swooning and did not walk, but I took her under the arms and almost carried her. . . . I remember, as we were going up the stairs, some man with a red band in his cap looked wonderingly at me and bowed to Kisotchka. . . .”
“I held her tightly in my arms. Suddenly, she burst into hysterical tears. Her face wore the same blank expression I had seen in the summer house when I lit the matches. Without asking for her permission and stopping her from speaking, I forcefully dragged her toward my hotel. She seemed almost to faint and wasn’t walking, so I took her under the arms and nearly carried her. . . . I remember, as we ascended the stairs, a man with a red band on his cap looked at me in surprise and bowed to Kisotchka. . . .”
Ananyev flushed crimson and paused. He walked up and down near the table in silence, scratched the back of his head with an air of vexation, and several times shrugged his shoulders and twitched his shoulder-blades, while a shiver ran down his huge back. The memory was painful and made him ashamed, and he was struggling with himself.
Ananyev turned bright red and stopped. He paced back and forth by the table in silence, scratching the back of his head in frustration. Several times, he shrugged his shoulders and twitched his shoulder blades while a shiver ran down his large back. The memory was painful and made him feel embarrassed, and he was battling with his own thoughts.
“It’s horrible!” he said, draining a glass of wine and shaking his head. “I am told that in every introductory lecture on women’s diseases the medical students are admonished to remember that each one of them has a mother, a sister, a fiancée, before undressing and examining a female patient. . . . That advice would be very good not only for medical students but for everyone who in one way or another has to deal with a woman’s life. Now that I have a wife and a little daughter, oh, how well I understand that advice! How I understand it, my God! You may as well hear the rest, though. . . . As soon as she had become my mistress, Kisotchka’s view of the position was very different from mine. First of all she felt for me a deep and passionate love. What was for me an ordinary amatory episode was for her an absolute revolution in her life. I remember, it seemed to me that she had gone out of her mind. Happy for the first time in her life, looking five years younger, with an inspired enthusiastic face, not knowing what to do with herself for happiness, she laughed and cried and never ceased dreaming aloud how next day we would set off for the Caucasus, then in the autumn to Petersburg; how we would live afterwards.
“It’s awful!” he said, finishing a glass of wine and shaking his head. “I hear that in every introductory lecture on women’s health issues, medical students are reminded that each of them has a mother, a sister, a fiancée, before they undress and examine a female patient. . . . That advice would be great not just for medical students but for anyone who has to deal with a woman’s life in any way. Now that I have a wife and a little daughter, oh, how much I get that advice! How deeply I understand it, my God! You might as well hear the rest, though. . . . Once she became my mistress, Kisotchka’s perspective changed completely from mine. First of all, she felt a deep and passionate love for me. What was just a casual romantic encounter for me was a total turning point in her life. I remember, it felt like she had lost her mind. Happy for the first time in her life, looking five years younger, with a face full of inspiration and excitement, not knowing what to do with herself out of joy, she laughed and cried, constantly dreaming out loud about how the next day we would head to the Caucasus, then in the autumn to Petersburg; how we would live afterwards.
“‘Don’t worry yourself about my husband,’ she said to reassure me. 'He is bound to give me a divorce. Everyone in the town knows that he is living with the elder Kostovitch. We will get a divorce and be married.’
“‘Don’t worry about my husband,’ she said to reassure me. 'He’s definitely going to give me a divorce. Everyone in town knows he’s living with the older Kostovitch. We’ll get divorced and get married.’”
“When women love they become acclimatised and at home with people very quickly, like cats. Kisotchka had only spent an hour and a half in my room when she already felt as though she were at home and was ready to treat my property as though it were her own. She packed my things in my portmanteau, scolded me for not hanging my new expensive overcoat on a peg instead of flinging it on a chair, and so on.
“When women love, they adapt and feel at home with people really quickly, just like cats. Kisotchka had only been in my room for an hour and a half when she already felt at home and was ready to treat my belongings as if they were hers. She packed my stuff in my suitcase, criticized me for not hanging my new expensive coat on a hook instead of tossing it on a chair, and so on.”
“I looked at her, listened, and felt weariness and vexation. I was conscious of a slight twinge of horror at the thought that a respectable, honest, and unhappy woman had so easily, after some three or four hours, succumbed to the first man she met. As a respectable man, you see, I didn’t like it. Then, too, I was unpleasantly impressed by the fact that women of Kisotchka’s sort, not deep or serious, are too much in love with life, and exalt what is in reality such a trifle as love for a man to the level of bliss, misery, a complete revolution in life. . . . Moreover, now that I was satisfied, I was vexed with myself for having been so stupid as to get entangled with a woman whom I should have to deceive. And in spite of my disorderly life I must observe that I could not bear telling lies.
“I looked at her, listened, and felt tired and annoyed. I couldn’t shake off a slight feeling of horror at the idea that a respectable, honest, and unhappy woman had so easily given in to the first man she encountered after just three or four hours. As a decent man, you see, it bothered me. Also, I was put off by the truth that women like Kisotchka, who aren't deep or serious, are overly enamored with life and elevate what is really a trivial thing like love for a man to the status of bliss, misery, a complete upheaval in life. . . . Besides, now that I was satisfied, I was frustrated with myself for being foolish enough to get involved with someone I’d have to deceive. And despite my chaotic lifestyle, I couldn’t stand telling lies.
“I remember that Kisotchka sat down at my feet, laid her head on my knees, and, looking at me with shining, loving eyes, asked:
“I remember that Kisotchka sat down at my feet, laid her head on my knees, and, looking at me with shining, loving eyes, asked:
“‘Kolya, do you love me? Very, very much?’
“‘Kolya, do you love me? A lot, really a lot?’”
“And she laughed with happiness. . . . This struck me as sentimental, affected, and not clever; and meanwhile I was already inclined to look for ‘depth of thought’ before everything.
“And she laughed with happiness. . . . This seemed sentimental, forced, and not smart; and meanwhile I was already leaning towards looking for ‘depth of thought’ in everything.”
“‘Kisotchka, you had better go home,’ I said, or else your people will be sure to miss you and will be looking for you all over the town; and it would be awkward for you to go to your mother in the morning.’
“‘Kisotchka, you should really head home,’ I said, ‘or your family will definitely miss you and will be searching all over town for you; plus, it would be uncomfortable for you to see your mom in the morning.’”
“Kisotchka agreed. At parting we arranged to meet at midday next morning in the park, and the day after to set off together to Pyatigorsk. I went into the street to see her home, and I remember that I caressed her with genuine tenderness on the way. There was a minute when I felt unbearably sorry for her, for trusting me so implicitly, and I made up my mind that I would really take her to Pyatigorsk, but remembering that I had only six hundred roubles in my portmanteau, and that it would be far more difficult to break it off with her in the autumn than now, I made haste to suppress my compassion.
"Kisotchka agreed. As we said our goodbyes, we planned to meet at noon the next day in the park, and the day after that, we would leave together for Pyatigorsk. I stepped outside to walk her home, and I remember that I genuinely showed her some affection along the way. There was a moment when I felt overwhelming pity for her for trusting me so completely, and I decided that I would really take her to Pyatigorsk. But then I remembered that I only had six hundred roubles in my suitcase, and that it would be much harder to break things off with her in the fall than it was now, so I hurried to push down my sympathy."
“We reached the house where Kisotchka’s mother lived. I pulled at the bell. When footsteps were heard at the other side of the door Kisotchka suddenly looked grave, glanced upwards to the sky, made the sign of the Cross over me several times and, clutching my hand, pressed it to her lips.
“We arrived at the house where Kisotchka's mother lived. I rang the bell. When we heard footsteps on the other side of the door, Kisotchka suddenly looked serious, glanced up at the sky, crossed herself several times over me, and, holding my hand, pressed it to her lips.”
“‘Till to-morrow,’ she said, and disappeared into the house.
“‘See you tomorrow,’ she said, and vanished into the house.
“I crossed to the opposite pavement and from there looked at the house. At first the windows were in darkness, then in one of the windows there was the glimmer of the faint bluish flame of a newly lighted candle; the flame grew, gave more light, and I saw shadows moving about the rooms together with it.
“I walked over to the other side of the street and looked at the house from there. At first, the windows were dark, then a faint bluish flame from a freshly lit candle flickered in one of them; the flame increased, shining brighter, and I saw shadows moving around the rooms along with it."
“‘They did not expect her,’ I thought.
“‘They didn’t expect her,’ I thought.
“Returning to my hotel room I undressed, drank off a glass of red wine, ate some fresh caviare which I had bought that day in the bazaar, went to bed in a leisurely way, and slept the sound, untroubled sleep of a tourist.
“Returning to my hotel room, I got undressed, finished a glass of red wine, ate some fresh caviar that I bought earlier at the market, leisurely went to bed, and enjoyed the deep, untroubled sleep of a tourist.”
“In the morning I woke up with a headache and in a bad humour. Something worried me.
“In the morning, I woke up with a headache and in a bad mood. Something was bothering me.”
“‘What’s the matter?’ I asked myself, trying to explain my uneasiness. 'What’s upsetting me?’
“‘What’s going on?’ I asked myself, trying to figure out my unease. 'What’s bothering me?’"
“And I put down my uneasiness to the dread that Kisotchka might turn up any minute and prevent my going away, and that I should have to tell lies and act a part before her. I hurriedly dressed, packed my things, and left the hotel, giving instructions to the porter to take my luggage to the station for the seven o’clock train in the evening. I spent the whole day with a doctor friend and left the town that evening. As you see, my philosophy did not prevent me from taking to my heels in a mean and treacherous flight. . . .
“And I attributed my uneasiness to the fear that Kisotchka might show up at any moment and stop me from leaving, forcing me to lie and pretend in front of her. I quickly got dressed, packed my stuff, and left the hotel, instructing the porter to take my luggage to the station for the seven o’clock train that evening. I spent the entire day with a doctor friend and left the town that evening. As you can see, my philosophy didn’t stop me from making a cowardly and sneaky escape…”
“All the while that I was at my friend’s, and afterwards driving to the station, I was tormented by anxiety. I fancied that I was afraid of meeting with Kisotchka and a scene. In the station I purposely remained in the toilet room till the second bell rang, and while I was making my way to my compartment, I was oppressed by a feeling as though I were covered all over with stolen things. With what impatience and terror I waited for the third bell!
“All the time I was at my friend’s and then on my way to the station, I was filled with anxiety. I thought I was afraid of running into Kisotchka and having a confrontation. At the station, I intentionally stayed in the restroom until the second bell rang, and while I was heading to my compartment, I felt like I was covered in stolen goods. I couldn’t wait for the third bell with such impatience and dread!”
“At last the third bell that brought my deliverance rang at last, the train moved; we passed the prison, the barracks, came out into the open country, and yet, to my surprise, the feeling of uneasiness still persisted, and still I felt like a thief passionately longing to escape. It was queer. To distract my mind and calm myself I looked out of the window. The train ran along the coast. The sea was smooth, and the turquoise sky, almost half covered with the tender, golden crimson light of sunset, was gaily and serenely mirrored in it. Here and there fishing boats and rafts made black patches on its surface. The town, as clean and beautiful as a toy, stood on the high cliff, and was already shrouded in the mist of evening. The golden domes of its churches, the windows and the greenery reflected the setting sun, glowing and melting like shimmering gold. . . . The scent of the fields mingled with the soft damp air from the sea.
“At last, the third bell that signaled my escape rang, and the train moved; we passed the prison and the barracks, entering the open countryside. Yet, to my surprise, the feeling of unease still lingered, and I felt like a thief desperately wanting to flee. It was strange. To distract myself and calm my thoughts, I looked out the window. The train ran along the coast. The sea was calm, and the turquoise sky, almost half-covered with the soft, golden crimson light of sunset, was brightly and peacefully reflected in it. Here and there, fishing boats and rafts created dark patches on its surface. The town, as clean and beautiful as a toy, sat on the high cliff, already wrapped in evening mist. The golden domes of its churches, the windows, and the greenery caught the fading sunlight, glowing and melting like shimmering gold... The scent of the fields mixed with the soft, damp air from the sea.”
“The train flew rapidly along. I heard the laughter of passengers and guards. Everyone was good-humoured and light-hearted, yet my unaccountable uneasiness grew greater and greater. . . . I looked at the white mist that covered the town and I imagined how a woman with a senseless blank face was hurrying up and down in that mist by the churches and the houses, looking for me and moaning, ‘Oh, my God! Oh, my God!’ in the voice of a little girl or the cadences of a Little Russian actress. I recalled her grave face and big anxious eyes as she made the sign of the Cross over me, as though I belonged to her, and mechanically I looked at the hand which she had kissed the day before.
“The train sped along quickly. I could hear the laughter of passengers and staff. Everyone was in a good mood and carefree, but my strange feeling of unease kept increasing. . . . I stared at the white mist that blanketed the town and imagined a woman with a blank, expressionless face rushing around in that mist near the churches and houses, searching for me and lamenting, ‘Oh, my God! Oh, my God!’ in the voice of a little girl or the tones of a Little Russian actress. I remembered her serious face and worried eyes as she made the sign of the Cross over me, as if I were hers, and I involuntarily glanced at the hand she had kissed the day before."
“‘Surely I am not in love?’ I asked myself, scratching my hand.
“‘Am I really in love?’ I asked myself, scratching my hand.
“Only as night came on when the passengers were asleep and I was left tête-à-tête with my conscience, I began to understand what I had not been able to grasp before. In the twilight of the railway carriage the image of Kisotchka rose before me, haunted me and I recognised clearly that I had committed a crime as bad as murder. My conscience tormented me. To stifle this unbearable feeling, I assured myself that everything was nonsense and vanity, that Kisotchka and I would die and decay, that her grief was nothing in comparison with death, and so on and so on . . . and that if you come to that, there is no such thing as freewill, and that therefore I was not to blame. But all these arguments only irritated me and were extraordinarily quickly crowded out by other thoughts. There was a miserable feeling in the hand that Kisotchka had kissed. . . . I kept lying down and getting up again, drank vodka at the stations, forced myself to eat bread and butter, fell to assuring myself again that life had no meaning, but nothing was of any use. A strange and if you like absurd ferment was going on in my brain. The most incongruous ideas crowded one after another in disorder, getting more and more tangled, thwarting each other, and I, the thinker, 'with my brow bent on the earth,’ could make out nothing and could not find my bearings in this mass of essential and non-essential ideas. It appeared that I, the thinker, had not mastered the technique of thinking, and that I was no more capable of managing my own brain than mending a watch. For the first time in my life I was really thinking eagerly and intensely, and that seemed to me so monstrous that I said to myself: ‘I am going off my head.’ A man whose brain does not work at all times, but only at painful moments, is often haunted by the thought of madness.
“Only when night fell, and the passengers were asleep, did I find myself alone tête-à-tête with my conscience, starting to grasp what I hadn’t understood before. In the dim light of the train carriage, the image of Kisotchka appeared before me, haunting me, and I recognized clearly that I had committed a crime as serious as murder. My conscience tortured me. To silence this unbearable feeling, I told myself that it was all nonsense and vanity, that Kisotchka and I would eventually die and decay, that her grief meant nothing in comparison to death, and so on and so forth... and that if you get right down to it, free will doesn’t exist, so I wasn’t to blame. But all these arguments only frustrated me and were quickly overrun by other thoughts. I felt a miserable sensation in the hand that Kisotchka had kissed... I kept lying down and getting up again, drinking vodka at the stations, forcing myself to eat bread and butter, convincing myself again that life had no meaning, but nothing helped. A strange, and if you want to call it absurd, turmoil was happening in my mind. The most mismatched ideas came rushing in one after another, getting more tangled and contradicting each other, and I, the thinker, 'with my brow bent on the earth,' couldn’t make sense of it all or find my way through this jumble of important and unimportant ideas. It seemed that I, the thinker, hadn’t mastered the art of thinking and couldn’t manage my own mind any more than I could fix a watch. For the first time in my life, I was really thinking eagerly and intensely, and that felt so monstrous that I told myself: ‘I’m losing my mind.’ A man whose brain works only during painful moments often worries about going mad.”
“I spent a day and a night in this misery, then a second night, and learning from experience how little my philosophy was to me, I came to my senses and realised at last what sort of a creature I was. I saw that my ideas were not worth a brass farthing, and that before meeting Kisotchka I had not begun to think and had not even a conception of what thinking in earnest meant; now through suffering I realised that I had neither convictions nor a definite moral standard, nor heart, nor reason; my whole intellectual and moral wealth consisted of specialist knowledge, fragments, useless memories, other people’s ideas—and nothing else; and my mental processes were as lacking in complexity, as useless and as rudimentary as a Yakut’s. . . . If I had disliked lying, had not stolen, had not murdered, and, in fact, made obviously gross mistakes, that was not owing to my convictions—I had none, but because I was in bondage, hand and foot, to my nurse’s fairy tales and to copy-book morals, which had entered into my flesh and blood and without my noticing it guided me in life, though I looked on them as absurd. . . .
“I spent a day and a night in this misery, then another night, and realizing from experience how little my philosophy meant to me, I finally came to my senses and understood what kind of person I really was. I saw that my ideas were worthless and that before I met Kisotchka, I hadn’t even started to think or grasped what serious thinking truly meant; now, through suffering, I recognized that I had no convictions, no clear moral standards, no heart, and no reason; my entire intellectual and moral wealth consisted of specialized knowledge, fragments, useless memories, other people's ideas—and nothing more; my mental processes were as simple, useless, and basic as a Yakut’s. . . . If I had disliked lying, if I hadn’t stolen, if I hadn’t murdered, and if I’d made obviously bad mistakes, it wasn’t because I had convictions—I had none—but because I was completely tied down by my nurse’s fairy tales and by copybook morals, which had become ingrained in me and quietly guided me through life, even though I viewed them as absurd. . . .”
“I realised that I was not a thinker, not a philosopher, but simply a dilettante. God had given me a strong healthy Russian brain with promise of talent. And, only fancy, here was that brain at twenty-six, undisciplined, completely free from principles, not weighed down by any stores of knowledge, but only lightly sprinkled with information of a sort in the engineering line; it was young and had a physiological craving for exercise, it was on the look-out for it, when all at once quite casually the fine juicy idea of the aimlessness of life and the darkness beyond the tomb descends upon it. It greedily sucks it in, puts its whole outlook at its disposal and begins playing with it, like a cat with a mouse. There is neither learning nor system in the brain, but that does not matter. It deals with the great ideas with its own innate powers, like a self-educated man, and before a month has passed the owner of the brain can turn a potato into a hundred dainty dishes, and fancies himself a philosopher . . . .
“I realized that I wasn’t a thinker or a philosopher, but just a hobbyist. God had given me a strong, healthy Russian brain with the potential for talent. And, just think, here was that brain at twenty-six, undisciplined, completely free from principles, not weighed down by any extensive knowledge, but only lightly sprinkled with some information related to engineering; it was young and had a natural craving for exercise, actively seeking it out, when suddenly the intriguing concept of life's aimlessness and the mystery beyond death hit it. It eagerly absorbed this idea, offered its entire perspective for consideration, and began to play with it, like a cat with a mouse. There was no formal education or system in the brain, but that didn’t matter. It engaged with the big ideas using its own innate abilities, like a self-taught person, and within a month the owner of the brain could turn a potato into a hundred fancy dishes and fancied himself a philosopher….”
“Our generation has carried this dilettantism, this playing with serious ideas into science, into literature, into politics, and into everything which it is not too lazy to go into, and with its dilettantism has introduced, too, its coldness, its boredom, and its one-sidedness and, as it seems to me, it has already succeeded in developing in the masses a new hitherto non-existent attitude to serious ideas.
“Our generation has brought this superficial approach, this casual engagement with serious ideas into science, literature, politics, and everything else it’s not too lazy to explore. With this superficiality, it has also introduced coldness, boredom, and narrow-mindedness. It seems to me that it has already succeeded in shaping in the masses a new attitude toward serious ideas that didn’t exist before.”
“I realised and appreciated my abnormality and utter ignorance, thanks to a misfortune. My normal thinking, so it seems to me now, dates from the day when I began again from the A, B, C, when my conscience sent me flying back to N., when with no philosophical subleties I repented, besought Kisotchka’s forgiveness like a naughty boy and wept with her. . . .”
“I recognized and valued my weirdness and total lack of knowledge, thanks to a stroke of bad luck. My clear-headed thinking, as I see it now, started from the day I had to go back to the basics, when my conscience sent me back to N., when without any philosophical complexities I felt regret, begged Kisotchka for her forgiveness like a misbehaving kid, and cried with her. . . .”
Ananyev briefly described his last interview with Kisotchka.
Ananyev briefly described his last interview with Kisotchka.
“H’m. . . .” the student filtered through his teeth when the engineer had finished. “That’s the sort of thing that happens.”
“H’m. . . .” the student muttered through his teeth when the engineer was done. “That's the kind of thing that happens.”
His face still expressed mental inertia, and apparently Ananyev’s story had not touched him in the least. Only when the engineer after a moment’s pause, began expounding his view again and repeating what he had said at first, the student frowned irritably, got up from the table and walked away to his bed. He made his bed and began undressing.
His face still showed a lack of mental engagement, and it seemed that Ananyev’s story hadn’t affected him at all. Only when the engineer paused for a moment and then started explaining his opinion again, repeating what he had said before, did the student frown in annoyance, get up from the table, and walk over to his bed. He made his bed and started taking off his clothes.
“You look as though you have really convinced some one this time,” he said irritably.
“You look like you actually convinced someone this time,” he said impatiently.
“Me convince anybody!” said the engineer. “My dear soul, do you suppose I claim to do that? God bless you! To convince you is impossible. You can reach conviction only by way of personal experience and suffering!”
“Convince anyone else!” said the engineer. “My dear, do you really think I’m trying to do that? God bless you! Convincing you is impossible. You can only find conviction through personal experience and suffering!”
“And then—it’s queer logic!” grumbled the student as he put on his nightshirt. “The ideas which you so dislike, which are so ruinous for the young are, according to you, the normal thing for the old; it’s as though it were a question of grey hairs. . . . Where do the old get this privilege? What is it based upon? If these ideas are poison, they are equally poisonous for all?”
“And then—it’s strange logic!” grumbled the student as he put on his nightshirt. “The ideas that you dislike so much, which are so harmful for the young, are, according to you, totally acceptable for the old; it’s like it’s a matter of gray hairs. . . . Where do the old get this privilege? What’s it based on? If these ideas are toxic, they’re equally toxic for everyone?”
“Oh, no, my dear soul, don’t say so!” said the engineer with a sly wink. “Don’t say so. In the first place, old men are not dilettanti. Their pessimism comes to them not casually from outside, but from the depths of their own brains, and only after they have exhaustively studied the Hegels and Kants of all sorts, have suffered, have made no end of mistakes, in fact—when they have climbed the whole ladder from bottom to top. Their pessimism has both personal experience and sound philosophic training behind it. Secondly, the pessimism of old thinkers does not take the form of idle talk, as it does with you and me, but of Weltschmertz, of suffering; it rests in them on a Christian foundation because it is derived from love for humanity and from thoughts about humanity, and is entirely free from the egoism which is noticeable in dilettanti. You despise life because its meaning and its object are hidden just from you, and you are only afraid of your own death, while the real thinker is unhappy because the truth is hidden from all and he is afraid for all men. For instance, there is living not far from here the Crown forester, Ivan Alexandritch. He is a nice old man. At one time he was a teacher somewhere, and used to write something; the devil only knows what he was, but anyway he is a remarkably clever fellow and in philosophy he is A1. He has read a great deal and he is continually reading now. Well, we came across him lately in the Gruzovsky district. . . . They were laying the sleepers and rails just at the time. It’s not a difficult job, but Ivan Alexandritch, not being a specialist, looked at it as though it were a conjuring trick. It takes an experienced workman less than a minute to lay a sleeper and fix a rail on it. The workmen were in good form and really were working smartly and rapidly; one rascal in particular brought his hammer down with exceptional smartness on the head of the nail and drove it in at one blow, though the handle of the hammer was two yards or more in length and each nail was a foot long. Ivan Alexandritch watched the workmen a long time, was moved, and said to me with tears in his eyes:
“Oh, no, my dear friend, don’t say that!” said the engineer with a sly wink. “Don’t say that. First of all, old men are not just amateurs. Their pessimism doesn't come to them casually from outside; it stems from deep within their own minds, and only after thoroughly studying various philosophers like Hegel and Kant, enduring suffering, and making countless mistakes—essentially, after climbing the entire ladder from bottom to top. Their pessimism is backed by both personal experience and solid philosophical training. Secondly, the pessimism of older thinkers doesn’t just manifest as idle chatter, like it might for you and me, but as Weltschmerz, true suffering; it is rooted in a Christian foundation because it comes from love for humanity and contemplation about it, completely free from the selfishness often seen in amateurs. You disdain life because its meaning and purpose are hidden from you, and you're only anxious about your own death, while the true thinker is troubled because the truth is obscured for everyone, and he worries for all people. For example, not far from here lives the Crown forester, Ivan Alexandritch. He’s a nice old guy. At one time, he was a teacher somewhere and used to write—who knows what he really was? But he’s an exceptionally smart guy and in philosophy, he’s top-notch. He has read a lot and continues to read to this day. Well, we ran into him recently in the Gruzovsky district… They were laying the sleepers and rails at that moment. It’s not a hard job, but Ivan Alexandritch, not being a specialist, looked at it as if it were a magic trick. An experienced worker can lay a sleeper and secure a rail in under a minute. The workers were in great shape and really moving fast; one guy in particular brought his hammer down with incredible precision on the nail’s head and driven it in with a single hit, even though the hammer handle was more than two yards long and each nail was a foot long. Ivan Alexandritch watched the workers for a long time, was moved, and said to me with tears in his eyes:
“‘What a pity that these splendid men will die!’ Such pessimism I understand.”
“‘What a shame that these amazing men will die!’ I totally get that pessimism.”
“All that proves nothing and explains nothing,” said the student, covering himself up with a sheet; “all that is simply pounding liquid in a mortar. No one knows anything and nothing can be proved by words.”
“None of that proves anything or explains anything,” said the student, wrapping himself in a sheet. “All that is just grinding liquid in a bowl. No one knows anything, and nothing can be proven with words.”
He peeped out from under the sheet, lifted up his head and, frowning irritably, said quickly:
He peeked out from under the sheet, lifted his head, and, frowning in irritation, said quickly:
“One must be very naïve to believe in human words and logic and to ascribe any determining value to them. You can prove and disprove anything you like with words, and people will soon perfect the technique of language to such a point that they will prove with mathematical certainty that twice two is seven. I am fond of reading and listening, but as to believing, no thank you; I can’t, and I don’t want to. I believe only in God, but as for you, if you talk to me till the Second Coming and seduce another five hundred Kisothchkas, I shall believe in you only when I go out of my mind . . . . Goodnight.”
“One has to be really naïve to trust in human words and logic and to give them any real value. You can prove and disprove anything you want with words, and people will soon get so good at using language that they’ll convince you with certainty that two plus two equals seven. I enjoy reading and listening, but when it comes to believing, no thanks; I can't, and I don't want to. I only believe in God, but as for you, even if you talk to me until the Second Coming and charm another five hundred Kisothchkas, I’ll only believe in you when I lose my mind . . . . Goodnight.”
The student hid his head under the sheet and turned his face towards the wall, meaning by this action to let us know that he did not want to speak or listen. The argument ended at that.
The student buried his head under the blanket and faced the wall, making it clear that he didn't want to talk or listen. That ended the argument.
Before going to bed the engineer and I went out of the hut, and I saw the lights once more.
Before going to bed, the engineer and I stepped out of the hut, and I saw the lights once again.
“We have tired you out with our chatter,” said Ananyev, yawning and looking at the sky. “Well, my good sir! The only pleasure we have in this dull hole is drinking and philosophising. . . . What an embankment, Lord have mercy on us!” he said admiringly, as we approached the embankment; “it is more like Mount Ararat than an embankment.”
“We’ve worn you out with our talk,” said Ananyev, yawning and gazing at the sky. “Well, my good man! The only fun we have in this boring place is drinking and philosophizing... What an embankment, dear God!” he said in admiration as we got closer to the embankment; “it’s more like Mount Ararat than an embankment.”
He paused for a little, then said: “Those lights remind the Baron of the Amalekites, but it seems to me that they are like the thoughts of man. . . . You know the thoughts of each individual man are scattered like that in disorder, stretch in a straight line towards some goal in the midst of the darkness and, without shedding light on anything, without lighting up the night, they vanish somewhere far beyond old age. But enough philosophising! It’s time to go bye-bye.”
He paused for a moment, then said: “Those lights remind the Baron of the Amalekites, but to me, they’re like a person’s thoughts. You know, each person’s thoughts are scattered like that in chaos, stretching in a straight line towards some goal in the darkness and, without illuminating anything, without brightening the night, they disappear somewhere far beyond old age. But enough of this deep thinking! It’s time to say goodbye.”
When we were back in the hut the engineer began begging me to take his bed.
When we got back to the hut, the engineer started pleading with me to take his bed.
“Oh please!” he said imploringly, pressing both hands on his heart. “I entreat you, and don’t worry about me! I can sleep anywhere, and, besides, I am not going to bed just yet. Please do—it’s a favour!”
“Oh please!” he said earnestly, pressing both hands on his heart. “I’m begging you, and don’t worry about me! I can sleep anywhere, and besides, I’m not going to bed just yet. Please do—it’s a favor!”
I agreed, undressed, and went to bed, while he sat down to the table and set to work on the plans.
I agreed, took off my clothes, and went to bed, while he sat down at the table and started working on the plans.
“We fellows have no time for sleep,” he said in a low voice when I had got into bed and shut my eyes. “When a man has a wife and two children he can’t think of sleep. One must think now of food and clothes and saving for the future. And I have two of them, a little son and a daughter. . . . The boy, little rascal, has a jolly little face. He’s not six yet, and already he shows remarkable abilities, I assure you. . . . I have their photographs here, somewhere. . . . Ah, my children, my children!”
“We guys don’t have time to sleep,” he said quietly after I climbed into bed and closed my eyes. “When a man has a wife and two kids, he can't afford to think about sleep. You have to focus on food, clothes, and saving for the future. And I have two of them, a little boy and a girl... The boy, that little troublemaker, has such a cheerful face. He’s not even six yet, and already he shows incredible talents, I promise you... I have their pictures around here somewhere... Ah, my kids, my kids!”
He rummaged among his papers, found their photographs, and began looking at them. I fell asleep.
He searched through his papers, found their photos, and started looking at them. I fell asleep.
I was awakened by the barking of Azorka and loud voices. Von Schtenberg with bare feet and ruffled hair was standing in the doorway dressed in his underclothes, talking loudly with some one . . . . It was getting light. A gloomy dark blue dawn was peeping in at the door, at the windows, and through the crevices in the hut walls, and casting a faint light on my bed, on the table with the papers, and on Ananyev. Stretched on the floor on a cloak, with a leather pillow under his head, the engineer lay asleep with his fleshy, hairy chest uppermost; he was snoring so loudly that I pitied the student from the bottom of my heart for having to sleep in the same room with him every night.
I was woken up by Azorka barking and loud voices. Von Schtenberg, with bare feet and messy hair, was standing in the doorway in his underwear, loudly talking to someone . . . . It was getting light. A gloomy dark blue dawn was filtering in through the door, the windows, and the cracks in the hut walls, casting a faint glow on my bed, the table with the papers, and on Ananyev. He was sprawled out on the floor on a cloak, with a leather pillow under his head, sound asleep with his bulky, hairy chest exposed; he was snoring so loudly that I genuinely felt sorry for the student having to sleep in the same room with him every night.
“Why on earth are we to take them?” shouted Von Schtenberg. “It has nothing to do with us! Go to Tchalisov! From whom do the cauldrons come?”
“Why are we even supposed to take them?” shouted Von Schtenberg. “It has nothing to do with us! Go to Tchalisov! Where do the cauldrons come from?”
“From Nikitin . . .” a bass voice answered gruffly.
“From Nikitin . . .” a deep voice replied gruffly.
“Well, then, take them to Tchalisov. . . . That’s not in our department. What the devil are you standing there for? Drive on!”
“Well, then, take them to Tchalisov. . . . That’s not our responsibility. What the hell are you standing there for? Keep going!”
“Your honour, we have been to Tchalisov already,” said the bass voice still more gruffly. “Yesterday we were the whole day looking for him down the line, and were told at his hut that he had gone to the Dymkovsky section. Please take them, your honour! How much longer are we to go carting them about? We go carting them on and on along the line, and see no end to it.”
“Your honor, we've already been to Tchalisov,” said the deep voice, sounding even rougher. “Yesterday, we spent the whole day searching for him along the line and were told at his place that he had gone to the Dymkovsky section. Please take them, your honor! How much longer are we going to keep dragging them around? We keep hauling them along the line and see no end to it.”
“What is it?” Ananyev asked huskily, waking up and lifting his head quickly.
“What is it?” Ananyev asked hoarsely, waking up and quickly lifting his head.
“They have brought some cauldrons from Nikitin’s,” said the student, “and he is begging us to take them. And what business is it of ours to take them?”
“They’ve brought some cauldrons from Nikitin’s,” said the student, “and he’s asking us to take them. And why should we take them?”
“Do be so kind, your honour, and set things right! The horses have been two days without food and the master, for sure, will be angry. Are we to take them back, or what? The railway ordered the cauldrons, so it ought to take them. . . .”
“Please be so kind, your honor, and fix this! The horses haven't eaten for two days, and the master is definitely going to be angry. Are we supposed to take them back or what? The railway ordered the cauldrons, so they should take them...”
“Can’t you understand, you blockhead, that it has nothing to do with us? Go on to Tchalisov!”
“Can’t you get it through your thick skull that this has nothing to do with us? Just go on to Tchalisov!”
“What is it? Who’s there?” Ananyev asked huskily again. “Damnation take them all,” he said, getting up and going to the door. “What is it?”
“What is it? Who’s there?” Ananyev asked hoarsely again. “Damn them all,” he said, getting up and walking to the door. “What is it?”
I dressed, and two minutes later went out of the hut. Ananyev and the student, both in their underclothes and barefooted, were angrily and impatiently explaining to a peasant who was standing before them bare-headed, with his whip in his hand, apparently not understanding them. Both faces looked preoccupied with workaday cares.
I got dressed and two minutes later stepped out of the hut. Ananyev and the student, both in their underwear and barefoot, were angrily and impatiently trying to explain something to a peasant who stood before them, bareheaded and holding a whip, seemingly not understanding them. Both of their faces looked troubled by everyday worries.
“What use are your cauldrons to me,” shouted Ananyev. “Am I to put them on my head, or what? If you can’t find Tchalisov, find his assistant, and leave us in peace!”
“What good are your cauldrons to me,” shouted Ananyev. “Am I supposed to wear them on my head or something? If you can’t find Tchalisov, locate his assistant and let us be!”
Seeing me, the student probably recalled the conversation of the previous night. The workaday expression vanished from his sleepy face and a look of mental inertia came into it. He waved the peasant off and walked away absorbed in thought.
Seeing me, the student likely remembered our conversation from the night before. The usual blank look disappeared from his tired face, replaced by a sense of mental sluggishness. He dismissed the peasant and walked away, lost in thought.
It was a cloudy morning. On the line where the lights had been gleaming the night before, the workmen, just roused from sleep, were swarming. There was a sound of voices and the squeaking of wheelbarrows. The working day was beginning. One poor little nag harnessed with cord was already plodding towards the embankment, tugging with its neck, and dragging along a cartful of sand.
It was a cloudy morning. On the line where the lights had shone the night before, the workers, just waking up, were bustling around. There were voices and the squeaking of wheelbarrows. The workday was starting. One poor little horse, tied up with a rope, was already making its way towards the embankment, straining with its neck, and pulling along a cart full of sand.
I began saying good-bye. . . . A great deal had been said in the night, but I carried away with me no answer to any question, and in the morning, of the whole conversation there remained in my memory, as in a filter, only the lights and the image of Kisotchka. As I got on the horse, I looked at the student and Ananyev for the last time, at the hysterical dog with the lustreless, tipsy-looking eyes, at the workmen flitting to and fro in the morning fog, at the embankment, at the little nag straining with its neck, and thought:
I started saying goodbye... A lot had been discussed during the night, but I left without any answers to my questions. In the morning, all that stuck in my mind, as if filtered, was just the lights and the image of Kisotchka. As I got on the horse, I looked at the student and Ananyev one last time, at the hysterical dog with its dull, tipsy-looking eyes, at the workers moving back and forth in the morning fog, at the embankment, and at the little horse straining with its neck, and thought:
“There is no making out anything in this world.”
“There’s no figuring anything out in this world.”
And when I lashed my horse and galloped along the line, and when a little later I saw nothing before me but the endless gloomy plain and the cold overcast sky, I recalled the questions which were discussed in the night. I pondered while the sun-scorched plain, the immense sky, the oak forest, dark on the horizon and the hazy distance, seemed saying to me:
And when I whipped my horse and rushed along the line, and a little later when I saw nothing ahead of me but the endless gloomy plain and the cold, overcast sky, I remembered the questions that were talked about during the night. I reflected while the sun-baked plain, the vast sky, the oak forest, dark on the horizon and the hazy distance, seemed to be speaking to me:
“Yes, there’s no understanding anything in this world!”
“Yes, there’s no way to understand anything in this world!”
The sun began to rise. . . .
The sun started to rise. . . .
A STORY WITHOUT AN END
SOON after two o’clock one night, long ago, the cook, pale and agitated, rushed unexpectedly into my study and informed me that Madame Mimotih, the old woman who owned the house next door, was sitting in her kitchen.
SOON after two o’clock one night, a while back, the cook, looking pale and frazzled, burst into my study and told me that Madame Mimotih, the old lady who owned the house next door, was sitting in her kitchen.
“She begs you to go in to her, sir . . .” said the cook, panting. “Something bad has happened about her lodger. . . . He has shot himself or hanged himself. . . .”
“She’s asking you to come in, sir . . .” said the cook, breathing heavily. “Something terrible has happened with her lodger. . . . He’s either shot himself or hanged himself. . . .”
“What can I do?” said I. “Let her go for the doctor or for the police!”
“What can I do?” I said. “Let her call the doctor or the police!”
“How is she to look for a doctor! She can hardly breathe, and she has huddled under the stove, she is so frightened. . . . You had better go round, sir.”
“How is she supposed to find a doctor? She can barely breathe, and she’s curled up under the stove because she’s so scared... You should go check on her, sir.”
I put on my coat and hat and went to Madame Mimotih’s house. The gate towards which I directed my steps was open. After pausing beside it, uncertain what to do, I went into the yard without feeling for the porter’s bell. In the dark and dilapidated porch the door was not locked. I opened it and walked into the entry. Here there was not a glimmer of light, it was pitch dark, and, moreover, there was a marked smell of incense. Groping my way out of the entry I knocked my elbow against something made of iron, and in the darkness stumbled against a board of some sort which almost fell to the floor. At last the door covered with torn baize was found, and I went into a little hall.
I put on my coat and hat and headed to Madame Mimotih’s house. The gate I walked toward was open. After pausing beside it, not sure what to do, I walked into the yard without feeling for the porter’s bell. In the dark, run-down porch, the door wasn’t locked. I opened it and stepped into the entry. It was completely dark, and there was a strong smell of incense. As I made my way out of the entry, I bumped my elbow against something made of iron and stumbled over a board that was almost on the floor. Finally, I found the door covered in torn fabric and entered a small hall.
I am not at the moment writing a fairy tale, and am far from intending to alarm the reader, but the picture I saw from the passage was fantastic and could only have been drawn by death. Straight before me was a door leading to a little drawing-room. Three five-kopeck wax candles, standing in a row, threw a scanty light on the faded slate-coloured wallpaper. A coffin was standing on two tables in the middle of the little room. The two candles served only to light up a swarthy yellow face with a half-open mouth and sharp nose. Billows of muslin were mingled in disorder from the face to the tips of the two shoes, and from among the billows peeped out two pale motionless hands, holding a wax cross. The dark gloomy corners of the little drawing-room, the ikons behind the coffin, the coffin itself, everything except the softly glimmering lights, were still as death, as the tomb itself.
I’m not writing a fairy tale right now and definitely don’t mean to scare anyone, but the scene I saw from the hallway was surreal and could only have been inspired by death. Right in front of me was a door leading to a small drawing room. Three five-kopeck wax candles lined up, casting a dim light on the faded slate-gray wallpaper. A coffin sat on two tables in the center of the small room. The two candles only illuminated a dark yellow face with a half-open mouth and a sharp nose. Billows of muslin were scattered messily from the face down to the tips of two shoes, and peeking out from among the fabric were two pale, still hands clutching a wax cross. The dark, gloomy corners of the small drawing room, the icons behind the coffin, the coffin itself—everything except the softly glowing lights was as still as death, like the tomb itself.
“How strange!” I thought, dumbfoundered by the unexpected panorama of death. “Why this haste? The lodger has hardly had time to hang himself, or shoot himself, and here is the coffin already!”
“How strange!” I thought, stunned by the unexpected scene of death. “Why the rush? The tenant has barely had time to hang himself or shoot himself, and here’s the coffin already!”
I looked round. On the left there was a door with a glass panel; on the right a lame hat-stand with a shabby fur coat on it. . . .
I looked around. On the left, there was a door with a glass panel; on the right, a wobbly coat rack with a worn-out fur coat hanging on it. . . .
“Water. . . .” I heard a moan.
“Water. . . .” I heard someone moaning.
The moan came from the left, beyond the door with the glass panel. I opened the door and walked into a little dark room with a solitary window, through which there came a faint light from a street lamp outside.
The moan came from the left, beyond the door with the glass panel. I opened the door and stepped into a small dark room with a single window, where a faint light from a street lamp outside filtered in.
“Is anyone here?” I asked.
“Is anyone here?” I asked.
And without waiting for an answer I struck a match. This is what I saw while it was burning. A man was sitting on the blood-stained floor at my very feet. If my step had been a longer one I should have trodden on him. With his legs thrust forward and his hands pressed on the floor, he was making an effort to raise his handsome face, which was deathly pale against his pitch-black beard. In the big eyes which he lifted upon me, I read unutterable terror, pain, and entreaty. A cold sweat trickled in big drops down his face. That sweat, the expression of his face, the trembling of the hands he leaned upon, his hard breathing and his clenched teeth, showed that he was suffering beyond endurance. Near his right hand in a pool of blood lay a revolver.
And without waiting for a response, I struck a match. This is what I saw while it burned. A man was sitting on the blood-stained floor right at my feet. If I had taken a longer step, I would have stepped on him. With his legs stretched out and his hands pressed against the floor, he was trying to lift his handsome face, which was deathly pale against his pitch-black beard. In the large eyes he raised to me, I saw unimaginable terror, pain, and a plea for help. A cold sweat dripped in large drops down his face. That sweat, the expression on his face, the trembling of the hands he leaned on, his heavy breathing, and his clenched teeth showed that he was suffering beyond what anyone could bear. Near his right hand, in a pool of blood, lay a revolver.
“Don’t go away,” I heard a faint voice when the match had gone out. “There’s a candle on the table.”
“Don’t leave,” I heard a soft voice when the match had gone out. “There’s a candle on the table.”
I lighted the candle and stood still in the middle of the room not knowing what to do next. I stood and looked at the man on the floor, and it seemed to me that I had seen him before.
I lit the candle and stood still in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do next. I looked at the man on the floor, and it felt like I had seen him before.
“The pain is insufferable,” he whispered, “and I haven’t the strength to shoot myself again. Incomprehensible lack of will.”
“The pain is unbearable,” he whispered, “and I don’t have the strength to shoot myself again. Unfathomable lack of will.”
I flung off my overcoat and attended to the sick man. Lifting him from the floor like a baby, I laid him on the American-leather covered sofa and carefully undressed him. He was shivering and cold when I took off his clothes; the wound which I saw was not in keeping either with his shivering nor the expression on his face. It was a trifling one. The bullet had passed between the fifth and sixth ribs on the left side, only piercing the skin and the flesh. I found the bullet itself in the folds of the coat-lining near the back pocket. Stopping the bleeding as best I could and making a temporary bandage of a pillow-case, a towel, and two handkerchiefs, I gave the wounded man some water and covered him with a fur coat that was hanging in the passage. We neither of us said a word while the bandaging was being done. I did my work while he lay motionless looking at me with his eyes screwed up as though he were ashamed of his unsuccessful shot and the trouble he was giving me.
I threw off my overcoat and focused on the sick man. Lifting him from the floor like a baby, I laid him on the leather-covered sofa and carefully took off his clothes. He was shivering and cold as I removed his garments; the injury I saw didn’t match his shivering or the look on his face. It was a minor one. The bullet had gone through between the fifth and sixth ribs on the left side, only breaking the skin and flesh. I found the bullet itself in the lining of his coat near the back pocket. I tried to stop the bleeding as best I could and made a temporary bandage out of a pillowcase, a towel, and two handkerchiefs. I gave the injured man some water and covered him with a fur coat that was hanging in the hallway. Neither of us said a word while I worked on his bandage. I did my job while he lay still, staring at me with his eyes squinted as if he were embarrassed about his failed shot and the trouble he was causing me.
“Now I must trouble you to lie still,” I said, when I had finished the bandaging, “while I run to the chemist and get something.”
“Now I need you to lie still,” I said, after I finished the bandaging, “while I run to the pharmacy and grab something.”
“No need!” he muttered, clutching me by the sleeve and opening his eyes wide.
“No need!” he mumbled, gripping my sleeve and widening his eyes.
I read terror in his eyes. He was afraid of my going away.
I saw fear in his eyes. He was scared of me leaving.
“No need! Stay another five minutes . . . ten. If it doesn’t disgust you, do stay, I entreat you.”
“Don’t worry about it! Stay another five minutes… ten. If it doesn’t bother you, please stay, I urge you.”
As he begged me he was trembling and his teeth were chattering. I obeyed, and sat down on the edge of the sofa. Ten minutes passed in silence. I sat silent, looking about the room into which fate had brought me so unexpectedly. What poverty! This man who was the possessor of a handsome, effeminate face and a luxuriant well-tended beard, had surroundings which a humble working man would not have envied. A sofa with its American-leather torn and peeling, a humble greasy-looking chair, a table covered with a little of paper, and a wretched oleograph on the wall, that was all I saw. Damp, gloomy, and grey.
As he pleaded with me, he was shaking and his teeth were chattering. I complied and sat down on the edge of the sofa. Ten minutes went by in silence. I sat there quietly, taking in the room where fate had brought me so unexpectedly. What a mess! This man, with his handsome, delicate face and well-groomed beard, lived in conditions that even a modest working man would find hard to envy. A sofa with its faux leather torn and peeling, a shabby greasy-looking chair, a table cluttered with some papers, and a miserable oleograph on the wall— that was all I could see. Damp, gloomy, and gray.
“What a wind!” said the sick man, without opening his eyes, “How it whistles!”
“What a wind!” said the sick man, without opening his eyes, “How it howls!”
“Yes,” I said. “I say, I fancy I know you. Didn’t you take part in some private theatricals in General Luhatchev’s villa last year?”
“Yes,” I said. “I think I recognize you. Didn’t you perform in some private plays at General Luhatchev’s villa last year?”
“What of it?” he asked, quickly opening his eyes.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, quickly opening his eyes.
A cloud seemed to pass over his face.
A cloud appeared to pass over his face.
“I certainly saw you there. Isn’t your name Vassilyev?”
“I definitely saw you there. Isn’t your name Vassilyev?”
“If it is, what of it? It makes it no better that you should know me.”
“If it is, so what? It doesn't make it any better that you know me.”
“No, but I just asked you.”
“No, but I just asked you.”
Vassilyev closed his eyes and, as though offended, turned his face to the back of the sofa.
Vassilyev closed his eyes and, feeling offended, turned his face to the back of the sofa.
“I don’t understand your curiosity,” he muttered. “You’ll be asking me next what it was drove me to commit suicide!”
“I don’t get why you’re so curious,” he muttered. “You’ll be asking me next what made me want to kill myself!”
Before a minute had passed, he turned round towards me again, opened his eyes and said in a tearful voice:
Before a minute had gone by, he turned back to me, opened his eyes, and said in a teary voice:
“Excuse me for taking such a tone, but you’ll admit I’m right! To ask a convict how he got into prison, or a suicide why he shot himself is not generous . . . and indelicate. To think of gratifying idle curiosity at the expense of another man’s nerves!”
“Sorry for sounding this way, but you have to agree I’m right! It’s not fair to ask a prisoner how he ended up in jail, or a person who attempted suicide why he took that step. It’s not kind or respectful. It’s selfish to feed our curiosity at the cost of someone else’s feelings!”
“There is no need to excite yourself. . . . It never occurred to me to question you about your motives.”
“There’s no need to get worked up. . . . I never thought to ask you about your reasons.”
“You would have asked. . . . It’s what people always do. Though it would be no use to ask. If I told you, you would not believe or understand. . . . I must own I don’t understand it myself. . . . There are phrases used in the police reports and newspapers such as: ‘unrequited love,’ and ‘hopeless poverty,’ but the reasons are not known. . . . They are not known to me, nor to you, nor to your newspaper offices, where they have the impudence to write ‘The diary of a suicide.’ God alone understands the state of a man’s soul when he takes his own life; but men know nothing about it.”
“You would have asked. . . . It’s what people always do. But asking wouldn’t help. If I told you, you wouldn’t believe or understand. . . . I have to admit I don’t understand it myself. . . . There are terms used in police reports and newspapers like: ‘unrequited love,’ and ‘hopeless poverty,’ but the reasons are unknown. . . . They’re unknown to me, to you, and to your newspaper offices, where they have the audacity to write ‘The diary of a suicide.’ Only God understands the state of a person’s soul when they take their own life; but humans know nothing about it.”
“That is all very nice,” I said, “but you oughtn’t to talk. . . .”
“That’s all really nice,” I said, “but you shouldn’t talk. . . .”
But my suicide could not be stopped, he leaned his head on his fist, and went on in the tone of some great professor:
But I couldn't stop my suicide. He rested his head on his fist and continued speaking like some famous professor:
“Man will never understand the psychological subtleties of suicide! How can one speak of reasons? To-day the reason makes one snatch up a revolver, while to-morrow the same reason seems not worth a rotten egg. It all depends most likely on the particular condition of the individual at the given moment. . . . Take me for instance. Half an hour ago, I had a passionate desire for death, now when the candle is lighted, and you are sitting by me, I don’t even think of the hour of death. Explain that change if you can! Am I better off, or has my wife risen from the dead? Is it the influence of the light on me, or the presence of an outsider?”
“People will never grasp the psychological complexities of suicide! How can anyone talk about reasons? Today, a reason makes someone grab a gun, while tomorrow that same reason seems insignificant. It likely depends on the individual's state of mind at that moment. . . . Take me, for example. Half an hour ago, I had an intense urge to die; now, with the candle lit and you sitting next to me, I don’t even think about death. Explain that change if you can! Am I feeling better, or has my wife come back to life? Is it the effect of the light on me, or the presence of someone else?”
“The light certainly has an influence . . .” I muttered for the sake of saying something. “The influence of light on the organism . . . .”
“The light definitely has an impact . . .” I mumbled just to say something. “The effect of light on living things . . . .”
“The influence of light. . . . We admit it! But you know men do shoot themselves by candle-light! And it would be ignominious indeed for the heroes of your novels if such a trifling thing as a candle were to change the course of the drama so abruptly. All this nonsense can be explained perhaps, but not by us. It’s useless to ask questions or give explanations of what one does not understand. . . .”
“The influence of light... We admit it! But you know that people do end their lives by candlelight! And it would be really embarrassing for the heroes in your stories if something as minor as a candle could suddenly change the course of the drama like that. Sure, all this nonsense can maybe be explained, but not by us. It's pointless to ask questions or try to explain what you don't understand...”
“Forgive me,” I said, “but . . . judging by the expression of your face, it seems to me that at this moment you . . . are posing.”
“Forgive me,” I said, “but . . . looking at your face, it seems to me that right now you . . . are posing.”
“Yes,” Vassilyev said, startled. “It’s very possible! I am naturally vain and fatuous. Well, explain it, if you believe in your power of reading faces! Half an hour ago I shot myself, and just now I am posing. . . . Explain that if you can.”
“Yes,” Vassilyev said, surprised. “It’s totally possible! I’m naturally vain and foolish. Well, explain it, if you think you can read faces! Half an hour ago I shot myself, and now I’m posing. . . . Explain that if you can.”
These last words Vassilyev pronounced in a faint, failing voice. He was exhausted, and sank into silence. A pause followed. I began scrutinising his face. It was as pale as a dead man’s. It seemed as though life were almost extinct in him, and only the signs of the suffering that the “vain and fatuous” man was feeling betrayed that it was still alive. It was painful to look at that face, but what must it have been for Vassilyev himself who yet had the strength to argue and, if I were not mistaken, to pose?
These last words Vassilyev spoke in a faint, weakened voice. He was exhausted and fell silent. A pause followed. I started to examine his face. It was as pale as a dead person's. It seemed like life was almost gone from him, and only the signs of suffering that the "vain and foolish" man was experiencing showed that he was still alive. It was painful to look at that face, but what must it have been like for Vassilyev himself, who still had the strength to debate and, if I wasn't mistaken, to pose?
“You here—are you here?” he asked suddenly, raising himself on his elbow. “My God, just listen!”
“You here—are you really here?” he suddenly asked, propping himself up on his elbow. “Oh my God, just listen!”
I began listening. The rain was pattering angrily on the dark window, never ceasing for a minute. The wind howled plaintively and lugubriously.
I started to listen. The rain was hitting the dark window with irritation, never stopping for a second. The wind howled sadly and mournfully.
“‘And I shall be whiter than snow, and my ears will hear gladness and rejoicing.’” Madame Mimotih, who had returned, was reading in the drawing-room in a languid, weary voice, neither raising nor dropping the monotonous dreary key.
“‘And I shall be whiter than snow, and my ears will hear gladness and rejoicing.’” Madame Mimotih, who had come back, was reading in the living room in a tired, weary voice, neither raising nor lowering the monotonous dreary tone.
“It is cheerful, isn’t it?” whispered Vassilyev, turning his frightened eyes towards me. “My God, the things a man has to see and hear! If only one could set this chaos to music! As Hamlet says, 'it would—
“It’s cheerful, isn’t it?” whispered Vassilyev, turning his scared eyes towards me. “My God, the things a guy has to see and hear! If only we could set this chaos to music! As Hamlet says, 'it would—
“Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed, The very faculties of eyes and ears.”
“Confuse the clueless, and truly astonish, The very abilities of sight and sound.”
“How well I should have understood that music then! How I should have felt it! What time is it?”
“How well I would have understood that music back then! How I would have felt it! What time is it?”
“Five minutes to three.”
"Five minutes until three."
“Morning is still far off. And in the morning there’s the funeral. A lovely prospect! One follows the coffin through the mud and rain. One walks along, seeing nothing but the cloudy sky and the wretched scenery. The muddy mutes, taverns, woodstacks. . . . One’s trousers drenched to the knees. The never-ending streets. The time dragging out like eternity, the coarse people. And on the heart a stone, a stone!”
“Morning is still a long way off. And in the morning, there's the funeral. What a lovely thought! You follow the coffin through the mud and rain. You walk along, seeing nothing but the overcast sky and the grim surroundings. The muddy streets, bars, woodpiles... Your pants are soaked to the knees. The endless streets. Time drags on like eternity, surrounded by rough people. And in your heart, a weight, a weight!”
After a brief pause he suddenly asked: “Is it long since you saw General Luhatchev?”
After a short pause, he suddenly asked, "How long has it been since you saw General Luhatchev?"
“I haven’t seen him since last summer.”
“I haven't seen him since last summer.”
“He likes to be cock of the walk, but he is a nice little old chap. And are you still writing?”
“He likes to act like he's the best, but he's a nice little old guy. And are you still writing?”
“Yes, a little.”
"Yeah, a bit."
“Ah. . . . Do you remember how I pranced about like a needle, like an enthusiastic ass at those private theatricals when I was courting Zina? It was stupid, but it was good, it was fun. . . . The very memory of it brings back a whiff of spring. . . . And now! What a cruel change of scene! There is a subject for you! Only don’t you go in for writing ‘the diary of a suicide.’ That’s vulgar and conventional. You make something humorous of it.”
“Ah... Do you remember how I danced around like a needle, like an excited fool at those private plays when I was trying to win Zina over? It was silly, but it was nice, it was fun... Just thinking about it brings back a hint of spring... And now! What a harsh change of scene! That's a topic for you! Just don’t go writing ‘the diary of a suicide.’ That’s cliché and boring. You should make something funny out of it.”
“Again you are . . . posing,” I said. “There’s nothing humorous in your position.”
“Once again, you’re just posing,” I said. “There’s nothing funny about your stance.”
“Nothing laughable? You say nothing laughable?” Vassilyev sat up, and tears glistened in his eyes. An expression of bitter distress came into his pale face. His chin quivered.
“Nothing funny? You really think there’s nothing funny?” Vassilyev sat up, and tears shone in his eyes. A look of deep distress crossed his pale face. His chin trembled.
“You laugh at the deceit of cheating clerks and faithless wives,” he said, “but no clerk, no faithless wife has cheated as my fate has cheated me! I have been deceived as no bank depositor, no duped husband has ever been deceived! Only realise what an absurd fool I have been made! Last year before your eyes I did not know what to do with myself for happiness. And now before your eyes. . . .”
“You laugh at the trickery of dishonest clerks and unfaithful wives,” he said, “but no clerk, no unfaithful wife has betrayed me the way my fate has! I have been misled like no bank customer, no cheated husband has ever been misled! Just understand what an absolute fool I’ve been made to look! Last year, right in front of you, I didn’t know what to do with myself from sheer happiness. And now, right in front of you. . . .”
Vassilyev’s head sank on the pillow and he laughed.
Vassilyev’s head dropped onto the pillow, and he laughed.
“Nothing more absurd and stupid than such a change could possibly be imagined. Chapter one: spring, love, honeymoon . . . honey, in fact; chapter two: looking for a job, the pawnshop, pallor, the chemist’s shop, and . . . to-morrow’s splashing through the mud to the graveyard.”
“Nothing more ridiculous and foolish than such a change could possibly be imagined. Chapter one: spring, love, honeymoon . . . honey, in fact; chapter two: job searching, the pawnshop, looking pale, the pharmacy, and . . . tomorrow’s splashing through the mud to the cemetery.”
He laughed again. I felt acutely uncomfortable and made up my mind to go.
He laughed again. I felt really uncomfortable and decided to leave.
“I tell you what,” I said, “you lie down, and I will go to the chemist’s.”
“I'll tell you what,” I said, “you lie down, and I'll head to the pharmacy.”
He made no answer. I put on my great-coat and went out of his room. As I crossed the passage I glanced at the coffin and Madame Mimotih reading over it. I strained my eyes in vain, I could not recognise in the swarthy, yellow face Zina, the lively, pretty ingénue of Luhatchev’s company.
He didn't reply. I put on my overcoat and left his room. As I walked through the hallway, I glanced at the coffin and Madame Mimotih reading over it. I strained my eyes in vain; I couldn't recognize Zina, the lively, pretty ingénue from Luhatchev’s company, in the dark, yellow face.
“Sic transit,” I thought.
"Sic transit," I thought.
With that I went out, not forgetting to take the revolver, and made my way to the chemist’s. But I ought not to have gone away. When I came back from the chemist’s, Vassilyev lay on the sofa fainting. The bandages had been roughly torn off, and blood was flowing from the reopened wound. It was daylight before I succeeded in restoring him to consciousness. He was raving in delirium, shivering, and looking with unseeing eyes about the room till morning had come, and we heard the booming voice of the priest as he read the service over the dead.
With that, I went out, making sure to grab the revolver, and headed to the pharmacy. But I really shouldn't have left. When I returned from the pharmacy, Vassilyev was lying on the sofa, unconscious. The bandages had been roughly pulled off, and blood was streaming from the reopened wound. It took me until daylight to bring him back to consciousness. He was rambling in delirium, shivering, and staring with vacant eyes around the room until morning arrived, and we could hear the booming voice of the priest as he performed the service for the dead.
When Vassilyev’s rooms were crowded with old women and mutes, when the coffin had been moved and carried out of the yard, I advised him to remain at home. But he would not obey me, in spite of the pain and the grey, rainy morning. He walked bareheaded and in silence behind the coffin all the way to the cemetery, hardly able to move one leg after the other, and from time to time clutching convulsively at his wounded side. His face expressed complete apathy. Only once when I roused him from his lethargy by some insignificant question he shifted his eyes over the pavement and the grey fence, and for a moment there was a gleam of gloomy anger in them.
When Vassilyev’s rooms were filled with old women and mute people, when the coffin had been moved and taken out of the yard, I suggested he stay at home. But he wouldn’t listen to me, despite the pain and the grey, rainy morning. He walked bareheaded and silently behind the coffin all the way to the cemetery, struggling to move one leg after the other, occasionally clutching at his wounded side. His face showed total indifference. Only once, when I pulled him out of his daze with a trivial question, did he briefly glance at the pavement and the grey fence, and for a moment, there was a flicker of dark anger in his eyes.
“‘Weelright,’” he read on a signboard. “Ignorant, illiterate people, devil take them!”
“‘Weelright,’” he read on a signboard. “Ignorant, illiterate people, damn them!”
I led him home from the cemetery.
I walked him home from the cemetery.
——
Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.
Only one year has passed since that night, and Vassilyev has hardly had time to wear out the boots in which he tramped through the mud behind his wife’s coffin.
Only a year has gone by since that night, and Vassilyev has barely had the chance to wear out the boots he used to trudge through the mud behind his wife’s coffin.
At the present time as I finish this story, he is sitting in my drawing-room and, playing on the piano, is showing the ladies how provincial misses sing sentimental songs. The ladies are laughing, and he is laughing too. He is enjoying himself.
At this moment, as I wrap up this story, he is sitting in my living room, and while playing the piano, he’s demonstrating to the ladies how local girls sing sentimental songs. The ladies are laughing, and he’s laughing too. He’s having a great time.
I call him into my study. Evidently not pleased at my taking him from agreeable company, he comes to me and stands before me in the attitude of a man who has no time to spare. I give him this story, and ask him to read it. Always condescending about my authorship, he stifles a sigh, the sigh of a lazy reader, sits down in an armchair and begins upon it.
I call him into my office. Clearly annoyed at being pulled away from pleasant company, he approaches and stands in front of me like someone who doesn't have time to waste. I hand him this story and ask him to read it. Always dismissive of my writing, he suppresses a sigh, the sigh of a reluctant reader, sits down in an armchair, and starts reading.
“Hang it all, what horrors,” he mutters with a smile.
“Seriously, what a nightmare,” he says with a smile.
But the further he gets into the reading, the graver his face becomes. At last, under the stress of painful memories, he turns terribly pale, he gets up and goes on reading as he stands. When he has finished he begins pacing from corner to corner.
But the deeper he gets into the reading, the more serious his expression becomes. Finally, overwhelmed by painful memories, he turns very pale, gets up, and continues reading while standing. Once he’s done, he starts pacing back and forth.
“How does it end?” I ask him.
“How does it end?” I ask.
“How does it end? H’m. . . .”
"How does it end? Hmm..."
He looks at the room, at me, at himself. . . . He sees his new fashionable suit, hears the ladies laughing and . . . sinking on a chair, begins laughing as he laughed on that night.
He looks around the room, at me, and at himself. . . . He sees his new trendy suit, hears the ladies laughing, and . . . sinking into a chair, he starts laughing just like he did that night.
“Wasn’t I right when I told you it was all absurd? My God! I have had burdens to bear that would have broken an elephant’s back; the devil knows what I have suffered—no one could have suffered more, I think, and where are the traces? It’s astonishing. One would have thought the imprint made on a man by his agonies would have been everlasting, never to be effaced or eradicated. And yet that imprint wears out as easily as a pair of cheap boots. There is nothing left, not a scrap. It’s as though I hadn’t been suffering then, but had been dancing a mazurka. Everything in the world is transitory, and that transitoriness is absurd! A wide field for humorists! Tack on a humorous end, my friend!”
“Wasn’t I right when I told you it was all ridiculous? Oh my God! I’ve had burdens to carry that would have broken an elephant’s back; who knows what I’ve gone through—no one could have suffered more, I think, and yet where are the signs? It’s astonishing. You’d think the mark left on a person by their pain would be permanent, never to be erased or removed. And still, that mark fades away just as easily as a cheap pair of shoes. There’s nothing left, not a trace. It’s like I wasn’t suffering at all, but just dancing a mazurka. Everything in the world is temporary, and that temporary nature is absurd! A great opportunity for comedians! Add a funny ending, my friend!”
“Pyotr Nikolaevitch, are you coming soon?” The impatient ladies call my hero.
“Pyotr Nikolaevitch, are you coming soon?” The impatient ladies are calling my hero.
“This minute,” answers the “vain and fatuous” man, setting his tie straight. “It’s absurd and pitiful, my friend, pitiful and absurd, but what’s to be done? Homo sum. . . . And I praise Mother Nature all the same for her transmutation of substances. If we retained an agonising memory of toothache and of all the terrors which every one of us has had to experience, if all that were everlasting, we poor mortals would have a bad time of it in this life.”
“This minute,” replies the “vain and silly” guy, adjusting his tie. “It’s ridiculous and sad, my friend, sad and ridiculous, but what can we do? Homo sum . . . . And I still appreciate Mother Nature for her transformation of substances. If we had to hold onto the painful memory of toothaches and all the fears that each of us has faced, if all that were permanent, we poor humans would really struggle in this life.”
I look at his smiling face and I remember the despair and the horror with which his eyes were filled a year ago when he looked at the dark window. I see him, entering into his habitual rôle of intellectual chatterer, prepare to show off his idle theories, such as the transmutation of substances before me, and at the same time I recall him sitting on the floor in a pool of blood with his sick imploring eyes.
I look at his smiling face and remember the despair and horror in his eyes a year ago when he stared at the dark window. I see him slipping back into his usual role as an intellectual chatterbox, getting ready to flaunt his pointless theories, like the transmutation of substances, and at the same time, I recall him sitting on the floor in a pool of blood with his pleading, sick eyes.
“How will it end?” I ask myself aloud.
“How will it end?” I ask myself out loud.
Vassilyev, whistling and straightening his tie, walks off into the drawing-room, and I look after him, and feel vexed. For some reason I regret his past sufferings, I regret all that I felt myself on that man’s account on that terrible night. It is as though I had lost something. . . .
Vassilyev, whistling and adjusting his tie, walks into the drawing-room, and I watch him leave, feeling annoyed. For some reason, I regret his past hardships; I regret everything I felt for that man on that dreadful night. It feels like I've lost something...
MARI D’ELLE
IT was a free night. Natalya Andreyevna Bronin (her married name was Nikitin), the opera singer, is lying in her bedroom, her whole being abandoned to repose. She lies, deliciously drowsy, thinking of her little daughter who lives somewhere far away with her grandmother or aunt. . . . The child is more precious to her than the public, bouquets, notices in the papers, adorers . . . and she would be glad to think about her till morning. She is happy, at peace, and all she longs for is not to be prevented from lying undisturbed, dozing and dreaming of her little girl.
IT was a relaxing night. Natalya Andreyevna Bronin (her married name is Nikitin), the opera singer, is lying in her bedroom, completely at ease. She lies there, blissfully drowsy, thinking about her little daughter who is living far away with her grandmother or aunt. . . . The child means more to her than fans, bouquets, newspaper mentions, or admirers . . . and she would happily think about her until morning. She feels content, at peace, and all she wishes for is not to be disturbed, just dozing and dreaming of her little girl.
All at once the singer starts, and opens her eyes wide: there is a harsh abrupt ring in the entry. Before ten seconds have passed the bell tinkles a second time and a third time. The door is opened noisily and some one walks into the entry stamping his feet like a horse, snorting and puffing with the cold.
All of a sudden, the singer begins and opens her eyes wide: there’s a sharp, sudden sound at the door. Before ten seconds go by, the bell rings again, and then a third time. The door swings open loudly, and someone walks into the hallway, stomping their feet like a horse, snorting and puffing from the cold.
“Damn it all, nowhere to hang one’s coat!” the singer hears a husky bass voice. “Celebrated singer, look at that! Makes five thousand a year, and can’t get a decent hat-stand!”
“Damn it all, there’s nowhere to hang my coat!” the singer hears a deep, raspy voice. “A famous singer, look at that! Makes five thousand a year and can't even find a decent coat rack!”
“My husband!” thinks the singer, frowning. “And I believe he has brought one of his friends to stay the night too. . . . Hateful!”
“My husband!” thinks the singer, frowning. “And I believe he’s brought one of his friends to stay the night too. . . . Ugh!”
No more peace. When the loud noise of some one blowing his nose and putting off his goloshes dies away, the singer hears cautious footsteps in her bedroom. . . . It is her husband, mari d’elle, Denis Petrovitch Nikitin. He brings a whiff of cold air and a smell of brandy. For a long while he walks about the bedroom, breathing heavily, and, stumbling against the chairs in the dark, seems to be looking for something. . . .
No more peace. When the loud noise of someone blowing their nose and taking off their galoshes fades away, the singer hears careful footsteps in her bedroom. . . . It’s her husband, mari d’elle, Denis Petrovitch Nikitin. He brings a chill of cold air and a scent of brandy. For a while, he paces around the bedroom, breathing heavily, and, tripping over the chairs in the dark, seems to be searching for something. . . .
“What do you want?” his wife moans, when she is sick of his fussing about. “You have woken me.”
“What do you want?” his wife complains, when she is tired of his fussing around. “You’ve woken me.”
“I am looking for the matches, my love. You . . . you are not asleep then? I have brought you a message. . . . Greetings from that . . . what’s-his-name? . . . red-headed fellow who is always sending you bouquets. . . . Zagvozdkin. . . . I have just been to see him.”
“I’m looking for the matches, my love. You... you’re not asleep then? I have a message for you... Greetings from that... what’s-his-name? ... red-headed guy who keeps sending you flowers... Zagvozdkin... I just went to see him.”
“What did you go to him for?”
"What did you go see him for?"
“Oh, nothing particular. . . . We sat and talked and had a drink. Say what you like, Nathalie, I dislike that individual—I dislike him awfully! He is a rare blockhead. He is a wealthy man, a capitalist; he has six hundred thousand, and you would never guess it. Money is no more use to him than a radish to a dog. He does not eat it himself nor give it to others. Money ought to circulate, but he keeps tight hold of it, is afraid to part with it. . . . What’s the good of capital lying idle? Capital lying idle is no better than grass.”
“Oh, nothing special. . . . We sat and chatted and had a drink. Say what you want, Nathalie, I really dislike that guy—I dislike him a lot! He’s such a fool. He’s a wealthy man, a capitalist; he has six hundred thousand, and you’d never guess it. Money is as useful to him as a radish is to a dog. He doesn’t spend it on himself or share it with anyone else. Money should flow, but he clings to it, afraid to let go of it. . . . What’s the point of capital just sitting there? Capital sitting idle is no better than grass.”
Mari d’elle gropes his way to the edge of the bed and, puffing, sits down at his wife’s feet.
Mari d’elle makes his way to the edge of the bed and, panting, sits down at his wife’s feet.
“Capital lying idle is pernicious,” he goes on. “Why has business gone downhill in Russia? Because there is so much capital lying idle among us; they are afraid to invest it. It’s very different in England. . . . There are no such queer fish as Zagvozdkin in England, my girl. . . . There every farthing is in circulation . . . . Yes. . . . They don’t keep it locked up in chests there . . . .”
“Capital sitting unused is harmful,” he continues. “Why has business declined in Russia? Because there’s so much capital sitting idle; people are afraid to invest it. It’s very different in England... There are no odd characters like Zagvozdkin in England, my girl... There, every penny is in circulation... Yes... They don’t keep it locked away in chests there...”
“Well, that’s all right. I am sleepy.”
"That’s cool. I'm tired."
“Directly. . . . Whatever was it I was talking about? Yes. . . . In these hard times hanging is too good for Zagvozdkin. . . . He is a fool and a scoundrel. . . . No better than a fool. If I asked him for a loan without security—why, a child could see that he runs no risk whatever. He doesn’t understand, the ass! For ten thousand he would have got a hundred. In a year he would have another hundred thousand. I asked, I talked . . . but he wouldn’t give it me, the blockhead.”
“Directly... What was I talking about? Yes... In these tough times, hanging is too good for Zagvozdkin... He’s a fool and a crook... No better than a fool. If I asked him for a loan without collateral—anyone could see he had no risk at all. He doesn’t get it, the idiot! For ten thousand, he could’ve earned a hundred. In a year, he would have another hundred thousand. I asked, I talked... but he wouldn’t give it to me, the thickhead.”
“I hope you did not ask him for a loan in my name.”
“I hope you didn’t ask him for a loan using my name.”
“H’m. . . . A queer question. . . .” Mari d’elle is offended. “Anyway he would sooner give me ten thousand than you. You are a woman, and I am a man anyway, a business-like person. And what a scheme I propose to him! Not a bubble, not some chimera, but a sound thing, substantial! If one could hit on a man who would understand, one might get twenty thousand for the idea alone! Even you would understand if I were to tell you about it. Only you . . . don’t chatter about it . . . not a word . . . but I fancy I have talked to you about it already. Have I talked to you about sausage-skins?”
“Hm... that's an odd question...” Mari d’elle is offended. “Anyway, he would prefer to give me ten thousand than you. You’re a woman, and I’m a man, a practical person. And what a plan I’m proposing to him! Not a fantasy, not some illusion, but a solid idea, something real! If only I could find someone who understands, I could get twenty thousand just for the idea! Even you would get it if I explained it to you. Just... don’t say anything about it... not a word... but I think I’ve already mentioned it to you. Have I told you about sausage casings?”
“M’m . . . by and by.”
"Um . . . eventually."
“I believe I have. . . . Do you see the point of it? Now the provision shops and the sausage-makers get their sausage-skins locally, and pay a high price for them. Well, but if one were to bring sausage-skins from the Caucasus where they are worth nothing, and where they are thrown away, then . . . where do you suppose the sausage-makers would buy their skins, here in the slaughterhouses or from me? From me, of course! Why, I shall sell them ten times as cheap! Now let us look at it like this: every year in Petersburg and Moscow and in other centres these same skins would be bought to the . . . to the sum of five hundred thousand, let us suppose. That’s the minimum. Well, and if. . . .”
“I think I have. . . . Do you get the idea? Right now, the local grocery stores and sausage makers get their sausage casings nearby and pay a high price for them. But if someone were to bring sausage casings from the Caucasus, where they cost almost nothing and are practically thrown away, then . . . where do you think the sausage makers would buy their casings? Here at the slaughterhouses or from me? From me, obviously! I’d sell them for ten times cheaper! Now, let’s consider this: every year in Petersburg, Moscow, and other major cities, these same casings would be purchased for . . . let’s say five hundred thousand, at the very least. That’s the minimum. Well, and if. . . .”
“You can tell me to-morrow . . . later on. . . .”
“You can tell me tomorrow . . . later on. . . .”
“Yes, that’s true. You are sleepy, pardon, I am just going . . . say what you like, but with capital you can do good business everywhere, wherever you go. . . . With capital even out of cigarette ends one may make a million. . . . Take your theatrical business now. Why, for example, did Lentovsky come to grief? It’s very simple. He did not go the right way to work from the very first. He had no capital and he went headlong to the dogs. . . . He ought first to have secured his capital, and then to have gone slowly and cautiously . . . . Nowadays, one can easily make money by a theatre, whether it is a private one or a people’s one. . . . If one produces the right plays, charges a low price for admission, and hits the public fancy, one may put a hundred thousand in one’s pocket the first year. . . . You don’t understand, but I am talking sense. . . . You see you are fond of hoarding capital; you are no better than that fool Zagvozdkin, you heap it up and don’t know what for. . . . You won’t listen, you don’t want to. . . . If you were to put it into circulation, you wouldn’t have to be rushing all over the place . . . . You see for a private theatre, five thousand would be enough for a beginning. . . . Not like Lentovsky, of course, but on a modest scale in a small way. I have got a manager already, I have looked at a suitable building. . . . It’s only the money I haven’t got. . . . If only you understood things you would have parted with your Five per cents . . . your Preference shares. . . .”
“Yes, that’s true. You’re feeling sleepy, excuse me, I’m just going . . . say what you want, but with money you can do good business anywhere, no matter where you go. . . . With money, even from cigarette butts you can make a million. . . . Take your theater business now. Why did Lentovsky fail? It’s simple. He didn’t go about it the right way from the start. He had no money and he went straight to ruin. . . . He should have secured his capital first, then proceeded slowly and carefully . . . . Nowadays, you can easily make money with a theater, whether it’s private or public. . . . If you choose the right plays, keep ticket prices low, and capture the audience’s interest, you could pocket a hundred thousand in the first year. . . . You might not get it, but I’m being logical. . . . You see, you’re obsessed with saving money; you’re no better than that fool Zagvozdkin, you just pile it up without knowing why. . . . You won’t listen, you don’t want to. . . . If you invested it instead, you wouldn’t have to be running around everywhere . . . . For a private theater, five thousand would be enough to start. . . . Not like Lentovsky, of course, but on a smaller, more modest scale. I already have a manager, and I’ve found a suitable building. . . . It’s just the money I’m missing. . . . If only you understood things, you would have let go of your Five percent bonds . . . your Preference shares. . . .”
“No, merci. . . . You have fleeced me enough already. . . . Let me alone, I have been punished already. . . .”
“No, thanks. . . . You’ve taken advantage of me enough already. . . . Leave me alone, I’ve been punished enough. . . .”
“If you are going to argue like a woman, then of course . . .” sighs Nikitin, getting up. “Of course. . . .”
“If you’re going to argue like a woman, then of course . . .” sighs Nikitin, getting up. “Of course. . . .”
“Let me alone. . . . Come, go away and don’t keep me awake. . . . I am sick of listening to your nonsense.”
“Leave me alone. . . . Just go away and stop keeping me awake. . . . I’m tired of hearing your nonsense.”
“H’m. . . . To be sure . . . of course! Fleeced. . . plundered. . . . What we give we remember, but we don’t remember what we take.”
“H’m. . . . For sure . . . of course! Swindled. . . robbed. . . . What we give we remember, but we don’t remember what we take.”
“I have never taken anything from you.”
“I’ve never taken anything from you.”
“Is that so? But when we weren’t a celebrated singer, at whose expense did we live then? And who, allow me to ask, lifted you out of beggary and secured your happiness? Don’t you remember that?”
“Is that really the case? But when we weren’t a famous singer, who did we rely on for our livelihood? And who, if I may ask, pulled you out of poverty and brought you happiness? Don’t you remember that?”
“Come, go to bed. Go along and sleep it off.”
“Come on, go to bed. Just go and sleep it off.”
“Do you mean to say you think I am drunk? . . . if I am so low in the eyes of such a grand lady. . . I can go away altogether.”
“Are you saying you think I’m drunk? . . . If I’m looked down upon by someone as impressive as you . . . I might as well just leave completely.”
“Do. A good thing too.”
“Do. That's a good thing too.”
“I will, too. I have humbled myself enough. And I will go.”
“I will, too. I've humbled myself enough. And I'm going.”
“Oh, my God! Oh, do go, then! I shall be delighted!”
“Oh my God! Oh, please go! I’ll be thrilled!”
“Very well, we shall see.”
"Alright, we will see."
Nikitin mutters something to himself, and, stumbling over the chairs, goes out of the bedroom. Then sounds reach her from the entry of whispering, the shuffling of goloshes and a door being shut. Mari d’elle has taken offence in earnest and gone out.
Nikitin mumbles something to himself and, tripping over the chairs, leaves the bedroom. Then she hears sounds from the entry—whispering, the shuffling of galoshes, and a door slamming shut. Mari d’elle has seriously taken offense and left.
“Thank God, he has gone!” thinks the singer. “Now I can sleep.”
“Thank goodness, he’s gone!” thinks the singer. “Now I can sleep.”
And as she falls asleep she thinks of her mari d’elle, “what sort of a man he is, and how this affliction has come upon her. At one time he used to live at Tchernigov, and had a situation there as a book-keeper. As an ordinary obscure individual and not the mari d’elle, he had been quite endurable: he used to go to his work and take his salary, and all his whims and projects went no further than a new guitar, fashionable trousers, and an amber cigarette-holder. Since he had become “the husband of a celebrity” he was completely transformed. The singer remembered that when first she told him she was going on the stage he had made a fuss, been indignant, complained to her parents, turned her out of the house. She had been obliged to go on the stage without his permission. Afterwards, when he learned from the papers and from various people that she was earning big sums, he had ‘forgiven her,’ abandoned book-keeping, and become her hanger-on. The singer was overcome with amazement when she looked at her hanger-on: when and where had he managed to pick up new tastes, polish, and airs and graces? Where had he learned the taste of oysters and of different Burgundies? Who had taught him to dress and do his hair in the fashion and call her ‘Nathalie’ instead of Natasha?”
And as she drifts off to sleep, she thinks about her mari d’elle, “what kind of man he is, and how this situation has come to be. He used to live in Tchernigov and worked there as a bookkeeper. As an ordinary, unremarkable person and not the mari d’elle, he was pretty tolerable: he would go to work, collect his paycheck, and his whims and dreams were limited to a new guitar, trendy pants, and an amber cigarette holder. Ever since he became 'the husband of a celebrity,' he’s completely changed. The singer remembered that when she first told him she was going to perform on stage, he made a scene, got upset, complained to her parents, and kicked her out of the house. She had to go on stage without his approval. Later, when he found out from newspapers and various people that she was making a lot of money, he had 'forgiven her,' quit his bookkeeping job, and become her follower. The singer was amazed as she looked at her follower: when and where had he picked up new tastes, refinement, and pretensions? Where did he learn to appreciate oysters and different Burgundies? Who taught him to dress and style his hair fashionably and call her 'Nathalie' instead of Natasha?”
“It’s strange,” thinks the singer. “In old days he used to get his salary and put it away, but now a hundred roubles a day is not enough for him. In old days he was afraid to talk before schoolboys for fear of saying something silly, and now he is overfamiliar even with princes . . . wretched, contemptible little creature!”
“It’s weird,” thinks the singer. “Back in the day, he used to get his paycheck and save it, but now a hundred roubles a day isn’t enough for him. He used to be scared to speak in front of schoolboys because he was worried about saying something stupid, and now he’s way too familiar even with princes . . . pathetic, despicable little creature!”
But then the singer starts again; again there is the clang of the bell in the entry. The housemaid, scolding and angrily flopping with her slippers, goes to open the door. Again some one comes in and stamps like a horse.
But then the singer starts again; once more, there's the clang of the bell at the entrance. The housemaid, upset and angrily shuffling in her slippers, heads to open the door. Again, someone walks in and stomps like a horse.
“He has come back!” thinks the singer. “When shall I be left in peace? It’s revolting!” She is overcome by fury.
“He's back!” the singer thinks. “When will I be left alone? It’s disgusting!” She is filled with rage.
“Wait a bit. . . . I’ll teach you to get up these farces! You shall go away. I’ll make you go away!”
“Hang on a second. . . . I’ll show you how to handle these ridiculous situations! You need to leave. I’ll make you leave!”
The singer leaps up and runs barefoot into the little drawing-room where her mari usually sleeps. She comes at the moment when he is undressing, and carefully folding his clothes on a chair.
The singer jumps up and runs barefoot into the small living room where her mari usually sleeps. She arrives just as he is getting undressed and folding his clothes neatly on a chair.
“You went away!” she says, looking at him with bright eyes full of hatred. “What did you come back for?”
“You left!” she says, looking at him with bright eyes full of hatred. “Why did you come back?”
Nikitin remains silent, and merely sniffs.
Nikitin stays quiet and just sniffs.
“You went away! Kindly take yourself off this very minute! This very minute! Do you hear?”
“You left! Please get out right now! Right now! Do you hear me?”
Mari d’elle coughs and, without looking at his wife, takes off his braces.
Mari d’elle coughs and, without looking at his wife, removes his suspenders.
“If you don’t go away, you insolent creature, I shall go,” the singer goes on, stamping her bare foot, and looking at him with flashing eyes. “I shall go! Do you hear, insolent . . . worthless wretch, flunkey, out you go!”
“If you don’t leave, you arrogant jerk, I’ll leave instead,” the singer continues, stamping her bare foot and giving him a fiery look. “I’ll leave! Do you hear me, you insolent... worthless loser, get out!”
“You might have some shame before outsiders,” mutters her husband . . . .
“You might feel a bit embarrassed in front of others,” her husband mutters . . . .
The singer looks round and only then sees an unfamiliar countenance that looks like an actor’s. . . . The countenance, seeing the singer’s uncovered shoulders and bare feet, shows signs of embarrassment, and looks ready to sink through the floor.
The singer looks around and only then spots an unfamiliar face that resembles an actor’s. . . . The face, noticing the singer’s bare shoulders and feet, shows signs of embarrassment and seems ready to disappear through the floor.
“Let me introduce . . .” mutters Nikitin, “Bezbozhnikov, a provincial manager.”
“Let me introduce . . .” mumbles Nikitin, “Bezbozhnikov, a local manager.”
The singer utters a shriek, and runs off into her bedroom.
The singer lets out a scream and rushes into her bedroom.
“There, you see . . .” says mari d’elle, as he stretches himself on the sofa, “it was all honey just now . . . my love, my dear, my darling, kisses and embraces . . . but as soon as money is touched upon, then. . . . As you see . . . money is the great thing. . . . Good night!”
“There, you see . . .” says mari d’elle, as he stretches out on the sofa, “it was all sweet just a moment ago . . . my love, my dear, my darling, kisses and hugs . . . but as soon as money comes up, then. . . . As you can see . . . money is the big deal. . . . Good night!”
A minute later there is a snore.
A minute later, there’s a snore.
A LIVING CHATTEL
GROHOLSKY embraced Liza, kept kissing one after another all her little fingers with their bitten pink nails, and laid her on the couch covered with cheap velvet. Liza crossed one foot over the other, clasped her hands behind her head, and lay down.
GROHOLSKY hugged Liza, showering her little fingers with kisses, each one sporting bitten pink nails, and laid her down on the couch covered in cheap velvet. Liza crossed one foot over the other, clasped her hands behind her head, and relaxed.
Groholsky sat down in a chair beside her and bent over. He was entirely absorbed in contemplation of her.
Groholsky sat in a chair next to her and leaned forward. He was completely focused on thinking about her.
How pretty she seemed to him, lighted up by the rays of the setting sun!
How pretty she looked to him, illuminated by the rays of the setting sun!
There was a complete view from the window of the setting sun, golden, lightly flecked with purple.
There was a full view from the window of the setting sun, golden, lightly speckled with purple.
The whole drawing-room, including Liza, was bathed by it with brilliant light that did not hurt the eyes, and for a little while covered with gold.
The entire living room, along with Liza, was filled with a bright light that was easy on the eyes, and for a moment, everything was coated in gold.
Groholsky was lost in admiration. Liza was so incredibly beautiful. It is true her little kittenish face with its brown eyes, and turn up nose was fresh, and even piquant, his scanty hair was black as soot and curly, her little figure was graceful, well proportioned and mobile as the body of an electric eel, but on the whole. . . . However my taste has nothing to do with it. Groholsky who was spoilt by women, and who had been in love and out of love hundreds of times in his life, saw her as a beauty. He loved her, and blind love finds ideal beauty everywhere.
Groholsky was completely captivated. Liza was absolutely stunning. Her cute, kitten-like face with its brown eyes and upturned nose was fresh and even a bit spicy. Her sparse hair was as black as soot and curly, and her little figure was graceful, well-proportioned, and as flexible as an electric eel. But overall... Anyway, my opinion doesn’t matter. Groholsky, who was pampered by women and had fallen in and out of love hundreds of times in his life, saw her as beautiful. He loved her, and blind love finds ideal beauty in everything.
“I say,” he said, looking straight into her eyes, “I have come to talk to you, my precious. Love cannot bear anything vague or indefinite. . . . Indefinite relations, you know, I told you yesterday, Liza . . . we will try to-day to settle the question we raised yesterday. Come, let us decide together. . . .”
“I’m here,” he said, looking her straight in the eyes, “to talk to you, my dear. Love can’t handle anything unclear or uncertain. . . . Unclear relationships, as I mentioned yesterday, Liza . . . let’s try to figure out what we discussed yesterday. Come on, let’s decide together. . . .”
“What are we to do?”
"What should we do?"
Liza gave a yawn and scowling, drew her right arm from under her head.
Liza yawned and, frowning, pulled her right arm out from under her head.
“What are we to do?” she repeated hardly audibly after Groholsky.
“What are we supposed to do?” she repeated barely audibly after Groholsky.
“Well, yes, what are we to do? Come, decide, wise little head . . . I love you, and a man in love is not fond of sharing. He is more than an egoist. It is too much for me to go shares with your husband. I mentally tear him to pieces, when I remember that he loves you too. In the second place you love me. . . . Perfect freedom is an essential condition for love. . . . And are you free? Are you not tortured by the thought that that man towers for ever over your soul? A man whom you do not love, whom very likely and quite naturally, you hate. . . . That’s the second thing. . . . And thirdly. . . . What is the third thing? Oh yes. . . . We are deceiving him and that . . . is dishonourable. Truth before everything, Liza. Let us have done with lying!”
“Well, yes, what should we do? Come on, decide, wise little head . . . I love you, and a man in love doesn’t like to share. He’s more than just selfish. It’s too much for me to share you with your husband. I mentally tear him apart when I remember that he loves you too. Secondly, you love me . . . Perfect freedom is essential for love . . . And are you free? Aren’t you tortured by the thought that man will always loom over your soul? A man you don’t love, someone you probably and quite naturally even hate . . . That’s the second thing . . . And thirdly . . . What is the third thing? Oh yes . . . We’re deceiving him and that . . . is dishonorable. Truth above everything, Liza. Let’s stop lying!”
“Well, then, what are we to do?”
“Well, what should we do now?”
“You can guess. . . . I think it necessary, obligatory, to inform him of our relations and to leave him, to begin to live in freedom. Both must be done as quickly as possible. . . . This very evening, for instance. . . . It’s time to make an end of it. Surely you must be sick of loving like a thief?”
“You can guess. . . . I think it's necessary, essential, to let him know about our relationship and to allow him to start living freely. Both things need to happen as soon as possible. . . . This very evening, for example. . . . It's time to put a stop to it. You must be tired of loving like a criminal, right?”
“Tell! tell Vanya?”
"Tell Vanya!"
“Why, yes!”
"Sure thing!"
“That’s impossible! I told you yesterday, Michel, that it is impossible.”
"That’s impossible! I told you yesterday, Michel, that it is impossible."
“Why?”
“Why?”
“He will be upset. He’ll make a row, do all sorts of unpleasant things. . . . Don’t you know what he is like? God forbid! There’s no need to tell him. What an idea!”
“He's going to be upset. He'll cause a scene, do all kinds of unpleasant things... Don’t you know what he's like? God forbid! There’s no reason to tell him. What a thought!”
Groholsky passed his hand over his brow, and heaved a sigh.
Groholsky ran his hand over his forehead and sighed.
“Yes,” he said, “he will be more than upset. I am robbing him of his happiness. Does he love you?”
“Yes,” he said, “he will be more than upset. I’m taking away his happiness. Does he love you?”
“He does love me. Very much.”
“He really loves me. A lot.”
“There’s another complication! One does not know where to begin. To conceal it from him is base, telling him would kill him. . . . Goodness knows what’s one to do. Well, how is it to be?”
“There’s another complication! It’s hard to know where to start. Hiding it from him is low, telling him would destroy him. . . . Who knows what to do? Well, what’s the plan?”
Groholsky pondered. His pale face wore a frown.
Groholsky thought. His pale face had a frown.
“Let us go on always as we are now,” said Liza. “Let him find out for himself, if he wants to.”
“Let’s keep things the way they are now,” Liza said. “He can figure it out on his own if he wants to.”
“But you know that . . . is sinful, and besides the fact is you are mine, and no one has the right to think that you do not belong to me but to someone else! You are mine! I will not give way to anyone! . . . I am sorry for him—God knows how sorry I am for him, Liza! It hurts me to see him! But . . . it can’t be helped after all. You don’t love him, do you? What’s the good of your going on being miserable with him? We must have it out! We will have it out with him, and you will come to me. You are my wife, and not his. Let him do what he likes. He’ll get over his troubles somehow. . . . He is not the first, and he won’t be the last. . . . Will you run away? Eh? Make haste and tell me! Will you run away?”
“But you know that . . . is wrong, and besides, the truth is you are mine, and no one has the right to think you belong to anyone else! You are mine! I won’t give in to anyone! . . . I feel sorry for him—God knows how sorry I am for him, Liza! It hurts me to see him! But . . . there’s nothing we can do about it. You don’t love him, do you? What’s the point of continuing to be miserable with him? We need to talk this out! We will confront him, and you will come to me. You are my wife, not his. Let him do what he wants. He'll get over it eventually. . . . He’s not the first, and he won’t be the last. . . . Will you run away? Huh? Hurry and tell me! Will you run away?”
Liza got up and looked inquiringly at Groholsky.
Liza got up and looked at Groholsky with curiosity.
“Run away?”
“Run away?”
“Yes. . . . To my estate. . . . Then to the Crimea. . . . We will tell him by letter. . . . We can go at night. There is a train at half past one. Well? Is that all right?”
“Yes. . . . To my place. . . . Then to Crimea. . . . We'll let him know by letter. . . . We can leave at night. There's a train at one-thirty. So? Is that good?”
Liza scratched the bridge of her nose, and hesitated.
Liza scratched the bridge of her nose and hesitated.
“Very well,” she said, and burst into tears.
“Alright,” she said, and started crying.
Patches of red came out of her cheeks, her eyes swelled, and tears flowed down her kittenish face. . . .
Patches of red showed on her cheeks, her eyes were puffy, and tears streamed down her cute face. . . .
“What is it?” cried Groholsky in a flutter. “Liza! what’s the matter? Come! what are you crying for? What a girl! Come, what is it? Darling! Little woman!”
“What’s wrong?” Groholsky exclaimed, flustered. “Liza! What’s the matter? Come on! Why are you crying? What’s with you? Come on, tell me! Sweetheart! Little lady!”
Liza held out her hands to Groholsky, and hung on his neck. There was a sound of sobbing.
Liza reached out her hands to Groholsky and wrapped her arms around his neck. She was sobbing.
“I am sorry for him . . .” muttered Liza. “Oh, I am so sorry for him!”
“I feel sorry for him . . .” muttered Liza. “Oh, I really feel sorry for him!”
“Sorry for whom?”
“Sorry for who?”
“Va—Vanya. . . .”
"Va—Vanya..."
“And do you suppose I’m not? But what’s to be done? We are causing him suffering. . . . He will be unhappy, will curse us . . . but is it our fault that we love one another?”
“And do you think I’m not? But what can we do? We're making him suffer... He will be unhappy, he will curse us... but is it our fault that we love each other?”
As he uttered the last word, Groholsky darted away from Liza as though he had been stung and sat down in an easy chair. Liza sprang away from his neck and rapidly—in one instant—dropped on the lounge.
As he said the last word, Groholsky jumped away from Liza as if he had been stung and plopped down into a comfy chair. Liza quickly pulled away from him and, in an instant, collapsed onto the couch.
They both turned fearfully red, dropped their eyes, and coughed.
They both turned bright red, looked down, and cleared their throats.
A tall, broad-shouldered man of thirty, in the uniform of a government clerk, had walked into the drawing-room. He had walked in unnoticed. Only the bang of a chair which he knocked in the doorway had warned the lovers of his presence, and made them look round. It was the husband.
A tall, broad-shouldered man in his thirties, dressed in a government clerk's uniform, entered the drawing-room. He walked in without being noticed. Only the sound of a chair he bumped against in the doorway alerted the couple to his presence and made them look over. It was the husband.
They had looked round too late.
They had looked around too late.
He had seen Groholsky’s arm round Liza’s waist, and had seen Liza hanging on Groholsky’s white and aristocratic neck.
He had seen Groholsky's arm around Liza's waist and had seen Liza clinging to Groholsky's white, aristocratic neck.
“He saw us!” Liza and Groholsky thought at the same moment, while they did not know what to do with their heavy hands and embarrassed eyes. . . .
“He saw us!” Liza and Groholsky thought at the same time, while they didn’t know what to do with their heavy hands and embarrassed eyes...
The petrified husband, rosy-faced, turned white.
The shocked husband, with his rosy cheeks, turned pale.
An agonising, strange, soul-revolting silence lasted for three minutes. Oh, those three minutes! Groholsky remembers them to this day.
An excruciating, strange, soul-chilling silence lasted for three minutes. Oh, those three minutes! Groholsky remembers them to this day.
The first to move and break the silence was the husband. He stepped up to Groholsky and, screwing his face into a senseless grimace like a smile, gave him his hand. Groholsky shook the soft perspiring hand and shuddered all over as though he had crushed a cold frog in his fist.
The first to break the silence was the husband. He approached Groholsky and, contorting his face into a goofy smile, offered him his hand. Groholsky shook the clammy hand and recoiled as if he had just squeezed a cold frog in his grip.
“Good evening,” he muttered.
“Good evening,” he said quietly.
“How are you?” the husband brought out in a faint husky, almost inaudible voice, and he sat down opposite Groholsky, straightening his collar at the back of his neck.
“How are you?” the husband said in a faint, husky, almost inaudible voice as he sat down across from Groholsky, straightening his collar at the back of his neck.
Again, an agonising silence followed . . . but that silence was no longer so stupid. . . . The first step, most difficult and colourless, was over.
Again, a painful silence followed . . . but that silence was no longer so empty. . . . The first step, the hardest and most bland, was done.
All that was left now was for one of the two to depart in search of matches or on some such trifling errand. Both longed intensely to get away. They sat still, not looking at one another, and pulled at their beards while they ransacked their troubled brains for some means of escape from their horribly awkward position. Both were perspiring. Both were unbearably miserable and both were devoured by hatred. They longed to begin the tussle but how were they to begin and which was to begin first? If only she would have gone out!
All that was left now was for one of them to leave in search of matches or some other trivial task. Both of them desperately wanted to get away. They sat in silence, avoiding eye contact, and tugged at their beards while they frantically searched their troubled minds for a way to escape their painfully awkward situation. Both were sweating. Both were unbearably unhappy, and both were consumed by hatred. They wanted to start the fight, but how were they supposed to begin, and who would go first? If only she had left!
“I saw you yesterday at the Assembly Hall,” muttered Bugrov (that was the husband’s name).
“I saw you yesterday at the Assembly Hall,” muttered Bugrov (that was the husband’s name).
“Yes, I was there . . . the ball . . . did you dance?”
“Yes, I was there . . . the party . . . did you dance?”
“M’m . . . yes . . . with that . . . with the younger Lyukovtsky . . . . She dances heavily. . . . She dances impossibly. She is a great chatterbox.” (Pause.) “She is never tired of talking.”
“M’m . . . yeah . . . with that . . . with the younger Lyukovtsky . . . She dances really heavily. . . . She dances in a way that's almost unbelievable. She talks a lot.” (Pause.) “She never seems to get tired of chatting.”
“Yes. . . . It was slow. I saw you too. . .”
“Yes... It took a while. I noticed you too...”
Groholsky accidentally glanced at Bugrov. . . . He caught the shifting eyes of the deceived husband and could not bear it. He got up quickly, quickly seized Bugrov’s hand, shook it, picked up his hat, and walked towards the door, conscious of his own back. He felt as though thousands of eyes were looking at his back. It is a feeling known to the actor who has been hissed and is making his exit from the stage, and to the young dandy who has received a blow on the back of the head and is being led away in charge of a policeman.
Groholsky accidentally glanced at Bugrov. . . . He caught the shifting eyes of the betrayed husband and couldn't handle it. He quickly stood up, grabbed Bugrov's hand, shook it, picked up his hat, and walked toward the door, acutely aware of his own back. He felt like thousands of eyes were staring at him. It's a feeling familiar to an actor who has been booed and is leaving the stage, and to a young dandy who has just been punched in the head and is being escorted away by a cop.
As soon as the sound of Groholsky’s steps had died away and the door in the hall creaked, Bugrov leapt up, and after making two or three rounds of the drawing-room, strolled up to his wife. The kittenish face puckered up and began blinking its eyes as though expecting a slap. Her husband went up to her, and with a pale, distorted face, with arms, head, and shoulders shaking, stepped on her dress and knocked her knees with his.
As soon as Groholsky’s footsteps faded and the door in the hallway creaked, Bugrov jumped up, took a couple of laps around the living room, and walked over to his wife. Her playful face scrunched up, and she started blinking her eyes as if anticipating a slap. He approached her, and with a pale, twisted expression, his arms, head, and shoulders trembling, stepped on her dress and bumped his knees against hers.
“If, you wretched creature,” he began in a hollow, wailing voice, “you let him come here once again, I’ll. . . . Don’t let him dare to set his foot. . . . I’ll kill you. Do you understand? A-a-ah . . . worthless creature, you shudder! Fil-thy woman!”
“If you pitiful thing,” he began in a hollow, wailing voice, “if you let him come here again, I’ll... Don’t let him even think about stepping foot here... I’ll kill you. Do you understand? A-a-ah... useless creature, you tremble! Filthy woman!”
Bugrov seized her by the elbow, shook her, and flung her like an indiarubber ball towards the window. . . .
Bugrov grabbed her by the elbow, shook her, and threw her like a rubber ball towards the window. . . .
“Wretched, vulgar woman! you have no shame!”
“Disgraceful, trashy woman! You have no shame!”
She flew towards the window, hardly touching the floor with her feet, and caught at the curtains with her hands.
She soared toward the window, barely grazing the floor with her feet, and grabbed the curtains with her hands.
“Hold your tongue,” shouted her husband, going up to her with flashing eyes and stamping his foot.
“Be quiet,” shouted her husband, walking up to her with angry eyes and stomping his foot.
She did hold her tongue, she looked at the ceiling, and whimpered while her face wore the expression of a little girl in disgrace expecting to be punished.
She bit her tongue, stared at the ceiling, and whimpered while her face showed the look of a little girl in trouble, bracing for punishment.
“So that’s what you are like! Eh? Carrying on with a fop! Good! And your promise before the altar? What are you? A nice wife and mother. Hold your tongue!”
“So that's what you're like! Huh? Messing around with a dandy! Good! And what about your promise before the altar? What are you? A good wife and mother. Be quiet!”
And he struck her on her pretty supple shoulder. “Hold your tongue, you wretched creature. I’ll give you worse than that! If that scoundrel dares to show himself here ever again, if I see you—listen!—with that blackguard ever again, don’t ask for mercy! I’ll kill you, if I go to Siberia for it! And him too. I shouldn’t think twice about it! You can go, I don’t want to see you!”
And he hit her on her nice, soft shoulder. “Shut up, you miserable thing. I’ll do worse than that! If that jerk dares to come back here again, if I see you—listen!—with that lowlife ever again, don’t expect any mercy! I’ll kill you, even if it lands me in Siberia! And him too. I wouldn’t think twice about it! You can leave, I don’t want to see you!”
Bugrov wiped his eyes and his brow with his sleeve and strode about the drawing-room, Liza sobbing more and more loudly, twitching her shoulders and her little turned up nose, became absorbed in examining the lace on the curtain.
Bugrov wiped his eyes and brow with his sleeve and paced around the drawing-room, while Liza cried harder, shaking her shoulders and her little upturned nose, becoming engrossed in studying the lace on the curtain.
“You are crazy,” her husband shouted. “Your silly head is full of nonsense! Nothing but whims! I won’t allow it, Elizaveta, my girl! You had better be careful with me! I don’t like it! If you want to behave like a pig, then . . . then out you go, there is no place in my house for you! Out you pack if. . . . You are a wife, so you must forget these dandies, put them out of your silly head! It’s all foolishness! Don’t let it happen again! You try defending yourself! Love your husband! You have been given to your husband, so you must love him. Yes, indeed! Is one not enough? Go away till . . . . Torturers!”
“You're crazy,” her husband yelled. “Your head is full of nonsense! Just ridiculous ideas! I won’t allow it, Elizaveta, my girl! You’d better watch yourself! I don’t like it! If you want to act like a fool, then... then get out; there’s no room for you in my house! Pack your things if... You’re a wife, so you need to forget about those guys, get them out of your silly head! It’s all nonsense! Don’t let it happen again! You think you can defend yourself? Love your husband! You’ve been given to your husband, so you need to love him. Yes, really! Is one not enough? Go away until... Torturers!”
Bugrov paused; then shouted:
Bugrov hesitated; then shouted:
“Go away I tell you, go to the nursery! Why are you blubbering, it is your own fault, and you blubber! What a woman! Last year you were after Petka Totchkov, now you are after this devil. Lord forgive us! . . . Tfoo, it’s time you understood what you are! A wife! A mother! Last year there were unpleasantnesses, and now there will be unpleasantnesses. . . . Tfoo!”
“Go away, I’m serious, go to the nursery! Why are you crying? It’s your own fault, and you’re still crying! Unbelievable! Last year you were all over Petka Totchkov, and now you’re chasing this guy. God help us! Tch, it's time you realized what you are! A wife! A mother! Last year there were problems, and now there will be more problems... Tch!”
Bugrov heaved a loud sigh, and the air was filled with the smell of sherry. He had come back from dining and was slightly drunk . . . .
Bugrov let out a loud sigh, and the air was filled with the scent of sherry. He had returned from dinner and was a bit tipsy . . . .
“Don’t you know your duty? No! . . . you must be taught, you’ve not been taught so far! Your mamma was a gad-about, and you . . . you can blubber. Yes! blubber away. . . .”
“Don’t you know what you’re supposed to do? No! . . . you need to learn, you haven’t been taught yet! Your mom was always out and about, and you . . . you can just cry. Yes! Cry away. . . .”
Bugrov went up to his wife and drew the curtain out of her hands.
Bugrov approached his wife and took the curtain from her hands.
“Don’t stand by the window, people will see you blubbering. . . . Don’t let it happen again. You’ll go from embracing to worse trouble. You’ll come to grief. Do you suppose I like to be made a fool of? And you will make a fool of me if you carry on with them, the low brutes. . . . Come, that’s enough. . . . Don’t you. . . . Another time. . . . Of course I . . Liza . . . stay. . . .”
“Don’t stand by the window; people will see you crying. . . . Don’t let it happen again. You’ll go from bad to worse. You’ll get hurt. Do you think I enjoy being embarrassed? And you’ll embarrass me if you keep it up with them, those horrible people. . . . Come on, that’s enough. . . . Don’t you. . . . Not again. . . . Of course I . . Liza . . . stay. . . .”
Bugrov heaved a sigh and enveloped Liza in the fumes of sherry.
Bugrov let out a sigh and surrounded Liza with the scent of sherry.
“You are young and silly, you don’t understand anything. . . . I am never at home. . . . And they take advantage of it. You must be sensible, prudent. They will deceive you. And then I won’t endure it. . . . Then I may do anything. . . . Of course! Then you can just lie down, and die. I . . . I am capable of doing anything if you deceive me, my good girl. I might beat you to death. . . . And . . . I shall turn you out of the house, and then you can go to your rascals.”
“You're young and naive; you don't get it at all. I’m hardly ever home, and they take advantage of that. You need to be wise and careful. They’ll trick you, and I won't stand for it. Then I might do something drastic. Of course! You could just give up and die. I… I could do anything if you betray me, my dear. I might even hurt you badly… And… I’ll kick you out of the house, and then you can go hang out with your troublemakers.”
And Bugrov (horribile dictu) wiped the wet, tearful face of the traitress Liza with his big soft hand. He treated his twenty-year-old wife as though she were a child.
And Bugrov (horribile dictu) wiped the wet, tearful face of the traitor Liza with his big, soft hand. He treated his twenty-year-old wife as if she were a child.
“Come, that’s enough. . . . I forgive you. Only God forbid it should happen again! I forgive you for the fifth time, but I shall not forgive you for the sixth, as God is holy. God does not forgive such as you for such things.”
“Come on, that's enough. . . . I forgive you. Just please, don't let it happen again! I forgive you for the fifth time, but I won't forgive you for the sixth, as God is holy. God doesn't forgive people like you for things like this.”
Bugrov bent down and put out his shining lips towards Liza’s little head. But the kiss did not follow. The doors of the hall, of the dining-room, of the parlour, and of the drawing-room all slammed, and Groholsky flew into the drawing-room like a whirlwind. He was pale and trembling. He was flourishing his arms and crushing his expensive hat in his hands. His coat fluttered upon him as though it were on a peg. He was the incarnation of acute fever. When Bugrov saw him he moved away from his wife and began looking out of the other window. Groholsky flew up to him, and waving his arms and breathing heavily and looking at no one, he began in a shaking voice:
Bugrov bent down and leaned his shining lips towards Liza’s little head. But the kiss didn’t happen. The doors to the hall, dining room, parlor, and drawing room all slammed shut, and Groholsky burst into the drawing room like a whirlwind. He was pale and trembling. He was flailing his arms and squeezing his expensive hat in his hands. His coat flapped around him as if it were on a hanger. He was the picture of high anxiety. When Bugrov saw him, he moved away from his wife and started looking out of the other window. Groholsky rushed over to him, waving his arms, breathing heavily, and not making eye contact, he began in a shaky voice:
“Ivan Petrovitch! Let us leave off keeping up this farce with one another! We have deceived each other long enough! It’s too much! I cannot stand it. You must do as you like, but I cannot! It’s hateful and mean, it’s revolting! Do you understand that it is revolting?”
“Ivan Petrovitch! Let’s stop pretending with each other! We’ve been fooling each other for way too long! It’s too much! I can’t take it anymore. You can do whatever you want, but I can’t! It’s hateful and petty, it’s disgusting! Do you get that it’s disgusting?”
Groholsky spluttered and gasped for breath.
Groholsky coughed and struggled to breathe.
“It’s against my principles. And you are an honest man. I love her! I love her more than anything on earth! You have noticed it and . . . it’s my duty to say this!”
“It goes against my values. And you’re a good man. I love her! I love her more than anything else in the world! You’ve seen it and… it’s my responsibility to say this!”
“What am I to say to him?” Ivan Petrovitch wondered.
“What should I say to him?” Ivan Petrovitch wondered.
“We must make an end of it. This farce cannot drag on much longer! It must be settled somehow.”
“We have to put a stop to this. This nonsense can't go on any longer! It needs to be resolved somehow.”
Groholsky drew a breath and went on:
Groholsky took a breath and continued:
“I cannot live without her; she feels the same. You are an educated man, you will understand that in such circumstances your family life is impossible. This woman is not yours, so . . . in short, I beg you to look at the matter from an indulgent humane point of view. . . . Ivan Petrovitch, you must understand at last that I love her—love her more than myself, more than anything in the world, and to struggle against that love is beyond my power!”
“I can’t live without her; she feels the same way. You’re a smart guy, so you get that under these circumstances, having a family life is impossible. This woman isn’t yours, so... to put it simply, I ask you to consider this from a compassionate and understanding perspective... Ivan Petrovitch, you need to realize that I love her—love her more than myself, more than anything in the world, and fighting against that love is something I just can’t do!”
“And she?” Bugrov asked in a sullen, somewhat ironical tone.
“And her?” Bugrov asked in a grumpy, slightly sarcastic tone.
“Ask her; come now, ask her! For her to live with a man she does not love, to live with you is . . . is a misery!”
“Ask her; come on, ask her! For her to live with a man she doesn't love, to live with you is... is a misery!”
“And she?” Bugrov repeated, this time not in an ironical tone.
“And she?” Bugrov repeated, this time not sarcastically.
“She . . . she loves me! We love each other, Ivan Petrovitch! Kill us, despise us, pursue us, do as you will, but we can no longer conceal it from you. We are standing face to face—you may judge us with all the severity of a man whom we . . . whom fate has robbed of happiness!”
"She... she loves me! We love each other, Ivan Petrovitch! You can kill us, hate us, chase us—do whatever you want, but we can't hide it from you anymore. We're standing here face to face—you can judge us with all the harshness of someone whom fate has taken happiness from!"
Bugrov turned as red as a boiled crab, and looked out of one eye at Liza. He began blinking. His fingers, his lips, and his eyelids twitched. Poor fellow! The eyes of his weeping wife told him that Groholsky was right, that it was a serious matter.
Bugrov turned as red as a boiled crab and glanced at Liza with one eye. He started blinking. His fingers, lips, and eyelids twitched. Poor guy! The eyes of his crying wife showed him that Groholsky was right, that this was a serious situation.
“Well!” he muttered. “If you. . . . In these days. . . . You are always. . . .”
“Well!” he muttered. “If you... In today's world... You are always...”
“As God is above,” Groholsky shrilled in his high tenor, “we understand you. Do you suppose we have no sense, no feeling? I know what agonies I am causing you, as God’s above! But be indulgent, I beseech you! We are not to blame. Love is not a crime. No will can struggle against it. . . . Give her up to me, Ivan Petrovitch! Let her go with me! Take from me what you will for your sufferings. Take my life, but give me Liza. I am ready to do anything. . . . Come, tell me how I can do something to make up in part at least! To make up for that lost happiness, I can give you other happiness. I can, Ivan Petrovitch; I am ready to do anything! It would be base on my part to leave you without satisfaction. . . . I understand you at this moment.”
“As God is above,” Groholsky yelled in his high voice, “we understand you. Do you think we have no sense, no feelings? I know how much pain I’m causing you, as God is my witness! But please, be forgiving! We’re not at fault. Love isn’t a crime. No one can fight against it. . . . Give her to me, Ivan Petrovitch! Let her come with me! Take whatever you need from me for your suffering. Take my life, but give me Liza. I’m willing to do anything. . . . Come on, tell me how I can do something to at least make it a little better! To compensate for that lost happiness, I can offer you other happiness. I can, Ivan Petrovitch; I’m ready to do anything! It would be wrong of me to leave you without some form of satisfaction. . . . I understand you in this moment.”
Bugrov waved his hand as though to say, ‘For God’s sake, go away.’ His eyes began to be dimmed by a treacherous moisture—in a moment they would see him crying like a child.
Bugrov waved his hand as if to say, 'For God's sake, just leave me alone.' His eyes started to get blurry with treacherous tears—in a moment, they would see him crying like a kid.
“I understand you, Ivan Petrovitch. I will give you another happiness, such as hitherto you have not known. What would you like? I have money, my father is an influential man. . . . Will you? Come, how much do you want?”
“I get you, Ivan Petrovitch. I can give you a happiness like you've never experienced before. What do you want? I have money; my dad is a powerful guy. . . . Will you? Just tell me how much you need.”
Bugrov’s heart suddenly began throbbing. . . . He clutched at the window curtains with both hands. . . .
Bugrov's heart suddenly started pounding. . . . He grabbed the window curtains with both hands. . . .
“Will you have fifty thousand? Ivan Petrovitch, I entreat you. . . . It’s not a bribe, not a bargain. . . . I only want by a sacrifice on my part to atone a little for your inevitable loss. Would you like a hundred thousand? I am willing. A hundred thousand?”
“Will you accept fifty thousand? Ivan Petrovitch, I’m begging you. . . . It’s not a bribe, not a deal. . . . I just want to make a small sacrifice to atone for your unavoidable loss. Would you prefer a hundred thousand? I’m willing to do that. A hundred thousand?”
My God! Two immense hammers began beating on the perspiring temples of the unhappy Ivan Petrovitch. Russian sledges with tinkling bells began racing in his ears. . . .
My God! Two massive hammers started pounding on the sweating temples of the unfortunate Ivan Petrovitch. Russian sledges with jingling bells began racing in his ears...
“Accept this sacrifice from me,” Groholsky went on, “I entreat you! You will take a load off my conscience. . . . I implore you!”
“Please accept this sacrifice from me,” Groholsky continued, “I beg you! You'll ease my conscience. . . . I’m pleading with you!”
My God! A smart carriage rolled along the road wet from a May shower, passed the window through which Bugrov’s wet eyes were looking. The horses were fine, spirited, well-trained beasts. People in straw hats, with contented faces, were sitting in the carriage with long fishing-rods and bags. . . . A schoolboy in a white cap was holding a gun. They were driving out into the country to catch fish, to shoot, to walk about and have tea in the open air. They were driving to that region of bliss in which Bugrov as a boy—the barefoot, sunburnt, but infinitely happy son of a village deacon—had once raced about the meadows, the woods, and the river banks. Oh, how fiendishly seductive was that May! How happy those who can take off their heavy uniforms, get into a carriage and fly off to the country where the quails are calling and there is the scent of fresh hay. Bugrov’s heart ached with a sweet thrill that made him shiver. A hundred thousand! With the carriage there floated before him all the secret dreams over which he had gloated, through the long years of his life as a government clerk as he sat in the office of his department or in his wretched little study. . . . A river, deep, with fish, a wide garden with narrow avenues, little fountains, shade, flowers, arbours, a luxurious villa with terraces and turrets with an Aeolian harp and little silver bells (he had heard of the existence of an Aeolian harp from German romances); a cloudless blue sky; pure limpid air fragrant with the scents that recall his hungry, barefoot, crushed childhood. . . . To get up at five, to go to bed at nine; to spend the day catching fish, talking with the peasants. . . . What happiness!
My God! A fancy carriage rolled down the road, still wet from a May shower, passing by the window where Bugrov’s tear-filled eyes were peering out. The horses were beautiful, lively, and well-trained. People in straw hats, looking satisfied, were sitting in the carriage with long fishing rods and bags. . . . A schoolboy in a white cap was holding a gun. They were heading out to the countryside to fish, shoot, stroll, and enjoy tea outdoors. They were driving to that paradise where Bugrov, as a boy—barefoot, sunburned, but endlessly happy as the son of a village deacon—had once run through meadows, woods, and riverbanks. Oh, how irresistibly alluring was that May! How fortunate those are who can take off their heavy uniforms, hop into a carriage, and escape to the countryside where the quails are calling and the air is filled with the scent of fresh hay. Bugrov's heart ached with a sweet thrill that made him shiver. A hundred thousand! Along with the carriage came all the secret dreams he had cherished throughout the long years of his life as a government clerk, sitting in the office of his department or in his miserable little study. . . . A deep river, filled with fish, a wide garden with narrow paths, little fountains, shade, flowers, arbors, an extravagant villa with terraces and towers featuring an Aeolian harp and tiny silver bells (he had learned about the Aeolian harp from German novels); a clear blue sky; fresh, clean air filled with scents that reminded him of his hungry, barefoot, rough childhood. . . . To wake up at five, to go to bed at nine; to spend the day fishing, chatting with the peasants. . . . What happiness!
“Ivan Petrovitch, do not torture me! Will you take a hundred thousand?”
“Ivan Petrovitch, please stop torturing me! Will you take a hundred thousand?”
“H’m . . . a hundred and fifty thousand!” muttered Bugrov in a hollow voice, the voice of a husky bull. He muttered it, and bowed his head, ashamed of his words, and awaiting the answer.
“Hm... a hundred and fifty thousand!” Bugrov muttered in a hollow voice, like a rough bull. He said it and lowered his head, embarrassed by his words, waiting for a response.
“Good,” said Groholsky, “I agree. I thank you, Ivan Petrovitch . . . . In a minute. . . . I will not keep you waiting. . . .”
“Good,” said Groholsky, “I agree. Thank you, Ivan Petrovitch . . . . Just a minute . . . . I won’t keep you waiting . . . .”
Groholsky jumped up, put on his hat, and staggering backwards, ran out of the drawing-room.
Groholsky jumped up, put on his hat, and stumbled backward as he ran out of the living room.
Bugrov clutched the window curtains more tightly than ever. . . . He was ashamed . . . . There was a nasty, stupid feeling in his soul, but, on the other hand, what fair shining hopes swarmed between his throbbing temples! He was rich!
Bugrov gripped the window curtains tighter than ever. . . . He felt ashamed . . . . There was a horrible, dumb feeling in his heart, but, on the other hand, what bright, shining hopes buzzed around in his mind! He was rich!
Liza, who had grasped nothing of what was happening, darted through the half-opened door trembling all over and afraid that he would come to her window and fling her away from it. She went into the nursery, laid herself down on the nurse’s bed, and curled herself up. She was shivering with fever.
Liza, who didn’t understand what was going on, rushed through the slightly open door, shaking all over and scared that he would come to her window and throw her out. She went into the nursery, lay down on the nurse’s bed, and curled up. She was trembling from the fever.
Bugrov was left alone. He felt stifled, and he opened the window. What glorious air breathed fragrance on his face and neck! It would be good to breathe such air lolling on the cushions of a carriage . . . . Out there, far beyond the town, among the villages and the summer villas, the air was sweeter still. . . . Bugrov actually smiled as he dreamed of the air that would be about him when he would go out on the verandah of his villa and admire the view. A long while he dreamed. . . . The sun had set, and still he stood and dreamed, trying his utmost to cast out of his mind the image of Liza which obstinately pursued him in all his dreams.
Bugrov was left alone. He felt suffocated, so he opened the window. What a beautiful breeze brushed against his face and neck! It would be nice to breathe in such air while lounging on the cushions of a carriage... Out there, far beyond the town, among the villages and summer homes, the air was even sweeter... Bugrov actually smiled as he imagined the fresh air surrounding him when he stepped out onto the porch of his villa and took in the view. He daydreamed for a long time... The sun had set, and he still stood there lost in thought, doing his best to push away the image of Liza that stubbornly followed him in all his dreams.
“I have brought it, Ivan Petrovitch!” Groholsky, re-entering, whispered above his ear. “I have brought it—take it. . . . Here in this roll there are forty thousand. . . . With this cheque will you kindly get twenty the day after to-morrow from Valentinov? . . . Here is a bill of exchange . . . a cheque. . . . The remaining thirty thousand in a day or two. . . . My steward will bring it to you.”
“I’ve got it, Ivan Petrovitch!” Groholsky said as he came back in, leaning in to whisper in his ear. “I’ve got it—take it. . . . In this roll, there’s forty thousand. . . . Could you please get twenty from Valentinov the day after tomorrow with this check? . . . Here’s a bill of exchange . . . a check. . . . My steward will bring you the remaining thirty thousand in a day or two. . . .”
Groholsky, pink and excited, with all his limbs in motion, laid before Bugrov a heap of rolls of notes and bundles of papers. The heap was big, and of all sorts of hues and tints. Never in the course of his life had Bugrov seen such a heap. He spread out his fat fingers and, not looking at Groholsky, fell to going through the bundles of notes and bonds. . . .
Groholsky, pink and thrilled, with all his limbs moving, laid a huge pile of rolled-up notes and stacks of papers in front of Bugrov. The pile was large and came in all sorts of colors and shades. Never in his life had Bugrov seen such a stack. He spread out his thick fingers and, not looking at Groholsky, began sorting through the bundles of notes and bonds...
Groholsky spread out all the money, and moved restlessly about the room, looking for the Dulcinea who had been bought and sold.
Groholsky spread out all the money and paced anxiously around the room, searching for the Dulcinea who had been bought and sold.
Filling his pockets and his pocket-book, Bugrov thrust the securities into the table drawer, and, drinking off half a decanter full of water, dashed out into the street.
Filling his pockets and wallet, Bugrov shoved the securities into the table drawer, and after downing half a decanter of water, rushed out into the street.
“Cab!” he shouted in a frantic voice.
“Taxi!” he shouted in a frantic voice.
At half-past eleven that night he drove up to the entrance of the Paris Hotel. He went noisily upstairs and knocked at the door of Groholsky’s apartments. He was admitted. Groholsky was packing his things in a portmanteau, Liza was sitting at the table trying on bracelets. They were both frightened when Bugrov went in to them. They fancied that he had come for Liza and had brought back the money which he had taken in haste without reflection. But Bugrov had not come for Liza. Ashamed of his new get-up and feeling frightfully awkward in it, he bowed and stood at the door in the attitude of a flunkey. The get-up was superb. Bugrov was unrecognisable. His huge person, which had never hitherto worn anything but a uniform, was clothed in a fresh, brand-new suit of fine French cloth and of the most fashionable cut. On his feet spats shone with sparkling buckles. He stood ashamed of his new get-up, and with his right hand covered the watch-chain for which he had, an hour before, paid three hundred roubles.
At 11:30 that night, he pulled up to the entrance of the Paris Hotel. He made his way upstairs with a lot of noise and knocked on Groholsky’s door. He was let in. Groholsky was packing his things into a suitcase while Liza sat at the table trying on bracelets. Both of them looked scared when Bugrov entered. They thought he had come for Liza and was returning the money he had taken impulsively. But Bugrov wasn’t there for Liza. Feeling embarrassed in his new outfit and awkward overall, he bowed and stood at the door like a servant. The outfit was impressive. Bugrov was unrecognizable. His large frame, which had only ever worn a uniform before, was dressed in a fresh, brand-new suit made of fine French fabric and tailored in the latest style. Sparkling buckles shone on his spats. He stood there, embarrassed by his new look, using his right hand to cover the watch chain he had just bought for three hundred roubles an hour earlier.
“I have come about something,” he began. “A business agreement is beyond price. I am not going to give up Mishutka. . . .”
“I’m here about something,” he started. “A business deal is invaluable. I’m not giving up Mishutka. . . .”
“What Mishutka?” asked Groholsky.
“What Mishutka?” Groholsky asked.
“My son.”
"My kid."
Groholsky and Liza looked at each other. Liza’s eyes bulged, her cheeks flushed, and her lips twitched. . . .
Groholsky and Liza looked at each other. Liza’s eyes widened, her cheeks turned red, and her lips twitched. . . .
“Very well,” she said.
“Okay,” she said.
She thought of Mishutka’s warm little cot. It would be cruel to exchange that warm little cot for a chilly sofa in the hotel, and she consented.
She thought about Mishutka’s cozy little bed. It would be harsh to trade that warm little bed for a cold sofa in the hotel, so she agreed.
“I shall see him,” she said.
“I will see him,” she said.
Bugrov bowed, walked out, and flew down the stairs in his splendour, cleaving the air with his expensive cane. . . .
Bugrov bowed, walked out, and hurried down the stairs in his grandeur, slicing through the air with his pricey cane. . . .
“Home,” he said to the cabman. “I am starting at five o’clock to-morrow morning. . . . You will come; if I am asleep, you will wake me. We are driving out of town.”
“Home,” he told the cab driver. “I’m leaving at five o’clock tomorrow morning. . . . You’ll come; if I’m asleep, you’ll wake me. We’re heading out of town.”
II
It was a lovely August evening. The sun, set in a golden background lightly flecked with purple, stood above the western horizon on the point of sinking behind the far-away tumuli. In the garden, shadows and half-shadows had vanished, and the air had grown damp, but the golden light was still playing on the tree-tops. . . . It was warm. . . . Rain had just fallen, and made the fresh, transparent fragrant air still fresher.
It was a beautiful August evening. The sun, set against a golden sky lightly speckled with purple, hung above the western horizon, about to dip behind the distant mounds. In the garden, shadows and half-shadows had disappeared, and the air had turned damp, but the golden light still danced on the tree-tops. . . . It was warm. . . . Rain had just fallen, making the fresh, clear, fragrant air even fresher.
I am not describing the August of Petersburg or Moscow, foggy, tearful, and dark, with its cold, incredibly damp sunsets. God forbid! I am not describing our cruel northern August. I ask the reader to move with me to the Crimea, to one of its shores, not far from Feodosia, the spot where stands the villa of one of our heroes. It is a pretty, neat villa surrounded by flower-beds and clipped bushes. A hundred paces behind it is an orchard in which its inmates walk. . . . Groholsky pays a high rent for that villa, a thousand roubles a year, I believe. . . . The villa is not worth that rent, but it is pretty. . . . Tall, with delicate walls and very delicate parapets, fragile, slender, painted a pale blue colour, hung with curtains, portières, draperies, it suggests a charming, fragile Chinese lady. . . .
I’m not talking about the August of Petersburg or Moscow, which is foggy, tearful, and dark, with its cold, incredibly damp sunsets. God forbid! I’m not describing our harsh northern August. I ask the reader to join me in the Crimea, to one of its shores not far from Feodosia, where the villa of one of our heroes stands. It’s a pretty, tidy villa surrounded by flower beds and trimmed bushes. A hundred paces behind it is an orchard where the residents stroll. . . . Groholsky pays a high rent for that villa, around a thousand roubles a year, I think. . . . The villa isn’t worth that much, but it’s lovely. . . . Tall, with delicate walls and very delicate parapets, fragile and slender, painted a light blue, adorned with curtains, portières, and draperies, it reminds one of a charming, delicate Chinese lady. . . .
On the evening described above, Groholsky and Liza were sitting on the verandah of this villa. Groholsky was reading Novoye Vremya and drinking milk out of a green mug. A syphon of Seltzer water was standing on the table before him. Groholsky imagined that he was suffering from catarrh of the lungs, and by the advice of Dr. Dmitriev consumed an immense quantity of grapes, milk, and Seltzer water. Liza was sitting in a soft easy chair some distance from the table. With her elbows on the parapet, and her little face propped on her little fists, she was gazing at the villa opposite. . . . The sun was playing upon the windows of the villa opposite, the glittering panes reflected the dazzling light. . . . Beyond the little garden and the few trees that surrounded the villa there was a glimpse of the sea with its waves, its dark blue colour, its immensity, its white masts. . . . It was so delightful! Groholsky was reading an article by Anonymous, and after every dozen lines he raised his blue eyes to Liza’s back. . . . The same passionate, fervent love was shining in those eyes still. . . . He was infinitely happy in spite of his imaginary catarrh of the lungs. . . . Liza was conscious of his eyes upon her back, and was thinking of Mishutka’s brilliant future, and she felt so comfortable, so serene . . . .
On the evening mentioned earlier, Groholsky and Liza were sitting on the porch of the villa. Groholsky was reading Novoye Vremya and drinking milk from a green mug. A seltzer water siphon was placed on the table in front of him. Groholsky thought he had lung inflammation, and following Dr. Dmitriev's advice, he consumed a huge amount of grapes, milk, and seltzer. Liza was lounging in a soft chair some distance from the table. With her elbows resting on the railing and her little face supported by her tiny fists, she was staring at the villa across the way... The sun was shining on the windows of the villa opposite, and the sparkling panes reflected the bright light... Beyond the small garden and the few trees surrounding the villa, there was a view of the sea with its waves, deep blue color, vastness, and white masts... It was so lovely! Groholsky was reading an article by Anonymous, and after every dozen lines, he raised his blue eyes to Liza’s back... The same passionate, intense love was still shining in those eyes... He was incredibly happy despite his imaginary lung inflammation... Liza was aware of his gaze on her back and was thinking about Mishutka’s bright future, and she felt so at ease, so peaceful...
She was not so much interested by the sea, and the glittering reflection on the windows of the villa opposite as by the waggons which were trailing up to that villa one after another.
She was more interested in the wagons slowly making their way up to the villa one after another than in the sea or the sparkling reflection on the windows of the villa across the way.
The waggons were full of furniture and all sorts of domestic articles. Liza watched the trellis gates and big glass doors of the villa being opened and the men bustling about the furniture and wrangling incessantly. Big armchairs and a sofa covered with dark raspberry coloured velvet, tables for the hall, the drawing-room and the dining-room, a big double bed and a child’s cot were carried in by the glass doors; something big, wrapped up in sacking, was carried in too. A grand piano, thought Liza, and her heart throbbed.
The wagons were packed with furniture and all kinds of household items. Liza watched as the trellis gates and large glass doors of the villa swung open, and the men hurried around, dealing with the furniture and arguing nonstop. They brought in large armchairs and a sofa covered in dark raspberry velvet, tables for the hall, drawing room, and dining room, a big double bed, and a child's crib through the glass doors; something large, wrapped in burlap, was brought in as well. A grand piano, Liza thought, and her heart raced.
It was long since she had heard the piano, and she was so fond of it. They had not a single musical instrument in their villa. Groholsky and she were musicians only in soul, no more. There were a great many boxes and packages with the words: “with care” upon them carried in after the piano.
It had been a long time since she heard the piano, and she loved it so much. They didn’t have any musical instruments in their villa. Groholsky and she were musicians only in spirit, nothing more. There were lots of boxes and packages labeled “handle with care” brought in after the piano.
They were boxes of looking-glasses and crockery. A gorgeous and luxurious carriage was dragged in, at the gate, and two white horses were led in looking like swans.
They had boxes of mirrors and dishes. A beautiful and fancy carriage was brought in at the gate, and two white horses were led in, looking like swans.
“My goodness, what riches!” thought Liza, remembering her old pony which Groholsky, who did not care for riding, had bought her for a hundred roubles. Compared with those swan-like steeds, her pony seemed to her no better than a bug. Groholsky, who was afraid of riding fast, had purposely bought Liza a poor horse.
“My goodness, what wealth!” thought Liza, recalling her old pony that Groholsky, who didn’t care for riding, had bought her for a hundred roubles. Compared to those elegant horses, her pony seemed no better than a bug. Groholsky, who was afraid of riding quickly, had intentionally bought Liza a low-quality horse.
“What wealth!” Liza thought and murmured as she gazed at the noisy carriers.
“What wealth!” Liza thought and murmured as she looked at the noisy delivery people.
The sun hid behind the tumuli, the air began to lose its dryness and limpidity, and still the furniture was being driven up and hauled into the house. At last it was so dark that Groholsky left off reading the newspaper while Liza still gazed and gazed.
The sun disappeared behind the burial mounds, the air started to lose its dryness and clarity, and the furniture was still being brought up and carried into the house. Eventually, it got so dark that Groholsky stopped reading the newspaper while Liza continued to watch intently.
“Shouldn’t we light the lamp?” said Groholsky, afraid that a fly might drop into his milk and be swallowed in the darkness.
“Shouldn’t we turn on the lamp?” said Groholsky, worried that a fly might fall into his milk and get swallowed in the dark.
“Liza! shouldn’t we light the lamp? Shall we sit in darkness, my angel?”
“Liza! Shouldn't we turn on the lamp? Do you want to sit in the dark, my angel?”
Liza did not answer. She was interested in a chaise which had driven up to the villa opposite. . . . What a charming little mare was in that chaise. Of medium size, not large, but graceful. . . . A gentleman in a top hat was sitting in the chaise, a child about three, apparently a boy, was sitting on his knees waving his little hands. . . . He was waving his little hands and shouting with delight.
Liza didn't reply. She was focused on a carriage that had just pulled up to the villa across the way. . . . What a lovely little mare was pulling that carriage. Medium-sized, not too big, but elegant. . . . A man wearing a top hat sat in the carriage, and a child around three, seemingly a boy, sat on his knees, waving his little hands. . . . He was waving his hands and shouting with joy.
Liza suddenly uttered a shriek, rose from her seat and lurched forward.
Liza suddenly let out a scream, jumped out of her seat, and stumbled forward.
“What is the matter?” asked Groholsky.
“What's happening?” asked Groholsky.
“Nothing. . . I only . . . I fancied. . . .”
"Nothing... I just... I thought..."
The tall, broad-shouldered gentleman in the top hat jumped out of the chaise, lifted the boy down, and with a skip and a hop ran gaily in at the glass door. The door opened noisily and he vanished into the darkness of the villa apartments.
The tall, broad-shouldered man in the top hat hopped out of the carriage, picked the boy up, and with a skip and a hop, cheerfully ran through the glass door. The door swung open with a loud noise, and he disappeared into the darkness of the villa apartments.
Two smart footmen ran up to the horse in the chaise, and most respectfully led it to the gate. Soon the villa opposite was lighted up, and the clatter of plates, knives, and forks was audible. The gentleman in the top hat was having his supper, and judging by the duration of the clatter of crockery, his supper lasted long. Liza fancied she could smell chicken soup and roast duck. After supper discordant sounds of the piano floated across from the villa. In all probability the gentleman in the top hat was trying to amuse the child in some way, and allowing it to strum on it.
Two smart footmen rushed over to the horse in the carriage and respectfully led it to the gate. Soon, the villa across the street was lit up, and the sound of plates, knives, and forks could be heard. The man in the top hat was having his dinner, and judging by how long the clattering lasted, it seemed to be a lengthy meal. Liza thought she could smell chicken soup and roast duck. After dinner, discordant piano sounds drifted over from the villa. It was likely that the man in the top hat was trying to entertain the child somehow, letting it play around on the piano.
Groholsky went up to Liza and put his arm round her waist.
Groholsky walked over to Liza and put his arm around her waist.
“What wonderful weather!” he said. “What air! Do you feel it? I am very happy, Liza, very happy indeed. My happiness is so great that I am really afraid of its destruction. The greatest things are usually destroyed, and do you know, Liza, in spite of all my happiness, I am not absolutely . . . at peace. . . . One haunting thought torments me . . . it torments me horribly. It gives me no peace by day or by night. . . .”
“What wonderful weather!” he said. “What fresh air! Do you feel it? I'm really happy, Liza, truly happy. My happiness is so intense that I’m actually scared it might go away. The best things usually get ruined, and you know, Liza, even with all this happiness, I'm not completely . . . at peace . . . There’s this nagging thought that haunts me . . . it really torments me. It doesn’t let me rest, day or night. . . .”
“What thought?”
“What idea?”
“An awful thought, my love. I am tortured by the thought of your husband. I have been silent hitherto. I have feared to trouble your inner peace, but I cannot go on being silent. Where is he? What has happened to him? What has become of him with his money? It is awful! Every night I see his face, exhausted, suffering, imploring. . . . Why, only think, my angel—can the money he so generously accepted make up to him for you? He loved you very much, didn’t he?”
“Such a terrible thought, my love. I’m tormented by thoughts of your husband. I've stayed quiet until now, afraid to disturb your peace, but I can't keep silent any longer. Where is he? What’s happened to him? What’s become of him and his money? It’s awful! Every night, I see his face, worn out, suffering, begging... Just think about it, my angel—can the money he accepted make up for losing you? He loved you deeply, didn’t he?”
“Very much!”
“Absolutely!”
“There you see! He has either taken to drink now, or . . . I am anxious about him! Ah, how anxious I am! Should we write to him, do you think? We ought to comfort him . . . a kind word, you know.”
“There you see! He’s either started drinking now, or... I’m really worried about him! Oh, how worried I am! Should we write to him, do you think? We should reach out to comfort him... just a kind word, you know.”
Groholsky heaved a deep sigh, shook his head, and sank into an easy chair exhausted by painful reflection. Leaning his head on his fists he fell to musing. Judging from his face, his musings were painful.
Groholsky let out a heavy sigh, shook his head, and sank into a comfy chair, drained from struggling with his thoughts. Resting his head on his fists, he started to reflect. By the look on his face, those thoughts were troubling.
“I am going to bed,” said Liza; “it’s time.”
“I’m going to bed,” Liza said; “it’s time.”
Liza went to her own room, undressed, and dived under the bedclothes. She used to go to bed at ten o’clock and get up at ten. She was fond of her comfort.
Liza went to her room, got undressed, and slipped under the covers. She used to go to bed at 10 PM and wake up at 10 AM. She loved her comfort.
She was soon in the arms of Morpheus. Throughout the whole night she had the most fascinating dreams. . . . She dreamed whole romances, novels, Arabian Nights. . . . The hero of all these dreams was the gentleman in the top hat, who had caused her to utter a shriek that evening.
She soon fell into a deep sleep. Throughout the night, she had the most captivating dreams. . . . She dreamed entire romances, novels, and tales from the Arabian Nights. . . . The star of all these dreams was the man in the top hat, who had made her scream that evening.
The gentleman in the top hat was carrying her off from Groholsky, was singing, was beating Groholsky and her, was flogging the boy under the window, was declaring his love, and driving her off in the chaise. . . . Oh, dreams! In one night, lying with one’s eyes shut, one may sometimes live through more than ten years of happiness . . . . That night Liza lived through a great variety of experiences, and very happy ones, even in spite of the beating.
The guy in the top hat was taking her away from Groholsky, was singing, was fighting Groholsky and her, was hitting the boy under the window, was professing his love, and driving her off in the carriage... Oh, dreams! In just one night, with your eyes closed, you can sometimes experience more than ten years of happiness... That night Liza went through a wide range of experiences, and they were very happy ones, even with the fighting.
Waking up between six and seven, she flung on her clothes, hurriedly did her hair, and without even putting on her Tatar slippers with pointed toes, ran impulsively on to the verandah. Shading her eyes from the sun with one hand, and with the other holding up her slipping clothes, she gazed at the villa opposite. Her face beamed . . . . There could be no further doubt it was he.
Waking up between six and seven, she quickly put on her clothes, hurriedly did her hair, and without even putting on her pointed Tatar slippers, impulsively ran out onto the veranda. Shading her eyes from the sun with one hand and holding up her slipping clothes with the other, she stared at the villa across from her. Her face lit up... There was no longer any doubt it was him.
On the verandah in the villa opposite there was a table in front of the glass door. A tea service was shining and glistening on the table with a silver samovar at the head. Ivan Petrovitch was sitting at the table. He had in his hand a glass in a silver holder, and was drinking tea. He was drinking it with great relish. That fact could be deduced from the smacking of his lips, the sound of which reached Liza’s ears. He was wearing a brown dressing-gown with black flowers on it. Massive tassels fell down to the ground. It was the first time in her life Liza had seen her husband in a dressing-gown, and such an expensive-looking one.
On the porch of the villa across from them, there was a table in front of the glass door. A shiny tea set sparkled on the table, complete with a silver samovar at the end. Ivan Petrovitch was seated at the table, holding a glass in a silver holder, enjoying his tea. He was savoring it, which was clear from the smacking of his lips that Liza could hear. He was wearing a brown robe adorned with black flowers, and the big tassels hung down to the ground. It was the first time in her life that Liza had seen her husband in a robe, and such a fancy one at that.
Mishutka was sitting on one of his knees, and hindering him from drinking his tea. The child jumped up and down and tried to clutch his papa’s shining lip. After every three or four sips the father bent down to his son and kissed him on the head. A grey cat with its tail in the air was rubbing itself against one of the table legs, and with a plaintive mew proclaiming its desire for food. Liza hid behind the verandah curtain, and fastened her eyes upon the members of her former family; her face was radiant with joy.
Mishutka was sitting on one of his knees, getting in the way of him drinking his tea. The child jumped up and down and tried to grab his dad’s shiny lip. After every three or four sips, the father leaned down to his son and kissed him on the head. A gray cat with its tail up was rubbing against one of the table legs and meowing sadly, asking for food. Liza was hiding behind the porch curtain, watching her former family; her face was glowing with happiness.
“Misha!” she murmured, “Misha! Are you really here, Misha? The darling! And how he loves Vanya! Heavens!”
“Misha!” she whispered, “Misha! Is it really you, Misha? The sweetheart! And how much he loves Vanya! Wow!”
And Liza went off into a giggle when Mishutka stirred his father’s tea with a spoon. “And how Vanya loves Misha! My darlings!”
And Liza burst into giggles when Mishutka stirred his dad's tea with a spoon. “And how Vanya loves Misha! My sweethearts!”
Liza’s heart throbbed, and her head went round with joy and happiness. She sank into an armchair and went on observing them, sitting down.
Liza’s heart raced, and her head spun with joy and happiness. She sank into an armchair and continued to watch them as they sat down.
“How did they come here?” she wondered as she sent airy kisses to Mishutka. “Who gave them the idea of coming here? Heavens! Can all that wealth belong to them? Can those swan-like horses that were led in at the gate belong to Ivan Petrovitch? Ah!”
“How did they get here?” she wondered as she blew playful kisses to Mishutka. “Who inspired them to come here? Goodness! Can all that wealth really be theirs? Can those elegant horses that were brought in at the gate belong to Ivan Petrovitch? Ah!”
When he had finished his tea, Ivan Petrovitch went into the house. Ten minutes later, he appeared on the steps and Liza was astounded . . . . He, who in his youth only seven years ago had been called Vanushka and Vanka and had been ready to punch a man in the face and turn the house upside down over twenty kopecks, was dressed devilishly well. He had on a broad-brimmed straw hat, exquisite brilliant boots, a piqué waistcoat. . . . Thousands of suns, big and little, glistened on his watch-chain. With much chic he held in his right hand his gloves and cane.
When he finished his tea, Ivan Petrovitch went inside the house. Ten minutes later, he showed up on the steps, and Liza was amazed... He, who just seven years earlier had been called Vanushka and Vanka and was ready to punch someone in the face and turn the house upside down over twenty kopecks, was dressed exceptionally well. He wore a wide-brimmed straw hat, fancy shiny boots, and a piqué waistcoat... Thousands of sun-shaped charms, big and small, sparkled on his watch chain. With a lot of style, he held his gloves and cane in his right hand.
And what swagger, what style there was in his heavy figure when, with a graceful motion of his hand, he bade the footman bring the horse round.
And what confidence, what flair there was in his sturdy figure when, with a smooth wave of his hand, he signaled for the footman to bring the horse around.
He got into the chaise with dignity, and told the footmen standing round the chaise to give him Mishutka and the fishing tackle they had brought. Setting Mishutka beside him, and putting his left arm round him, he held the reins and drove off.
He got into the carriage with grace and told the footmen around the carriage to hand him Mishutka and the fishing gear they had brought. After placing Mishutka next to him and wrapping his left arm around him, he took the reins and drove off.
“Ge-ee up!” shouted Mishutka.
“Giddy up!” shouted Mishutka.
Liza, unaware of what she was doing, waved her handkerchief after them. If she had looked in the glass she would have been surprised at her flushed, laughing, and, at the same time, tear-stained face. She was vexed that she was not beside her gleeful boy, and that she could not for some reason shower kisses on him at once.
Liza, not realizing what she was doing, waved her handkerchief after them. If she had looked in the mirror, she would have been surprised at her flushed, laughing, and tear-stained face. She was frustrated that she wasn't next to her happy boy and that for some reason she couldn't immediately shower him with kisses.
For some reason! . . . Away with all your petty delicacies!
For some reason!... Forget all your trivial indulgences!
“Grisha! Grisha!” Liza ran into Groholsky’s bedroom and set to work to wake him. “Get up, they have come! The darling!”
“Grisha! Grisha!” Liza rushed into Groholsky’s bedroom and got to work waking him up. “Get up, they’re here! The sweetheart!”
“Who has come?” asked Groholsky, waking up.
“Who’s there?” Groholsky asked, waking up.
“Our people . . . Vanya and Misha, they have come, they are in the villa opposite. . . . I looked out, and there they were drinking tea. . . . And Misha too. . . . What a little angel our Misha has grown! If only you had seen him! Mother of God!”
“Our people... Vanya and Misha, they’re here, they’re in the villa across the way... I looked out, and there they were having tea... And Misha too... What a little angel our Misha has become! If only you could see him! Mother of God!”
“Seen whom? Why, you are. . . . Who has come? Come where?”
“Seen who? Why, it’s you. . . . Who’s here? Here for what?”
“Vanya and Misha. . . . I have been looking at the villa opposite, while they were sitting drinking tea. Misha can drink his tea by himself now. . . . Didn’t you see them moving in yesterday, it was they who arrived!”
“Vanya and Misha... I’ve been watching the villa across the way while they were sitting and drinking tea. Misha can drink his tea on his own now... Didn’t you see them moving in yesterday? It was them who arrived!”
Groholsky rubbed his forehead and turned pale.
Groholsky rubbed his forehead and turned pale.
“Arrived? Your husband?” he asked.
“Your husband here?” he asked.
“Why, yes.”
"Yes."
“What for?”
"Why?"
“Most likely he is going to live here. They don’t know we are here. If they did, they would have looked at our villa, but they drank their tea and took no notice.”
“Most likely he’s going to live here. They don’t know we’re here. If they did, they would have checked out our villa, but they just drank their tea and didn’t pay any attention.”
“Where is he now? But for God’s sake do talk sense! Oh, where is he?”
“Where is he now? For God’s sake, make sense! Oh, where is he?”
“He has gone fishing with Misha in the chaise. Did you see the horses yesterday? Those are their horses . . . Vanya’s . . . Vanya drives with them. Do you know what, Grisha? We will have Misha to stay with us. . . . We will, won’t we? He is such a pretty boy. Such an exquisite boy!”
“He has gone fishing with Misha in the carriage. Did you see the horses yesterday? Those are their horses... Vanya's... Vanya drives them. Do you know what, Grisha? We’re going to have Misha stay with us... We are, right? He's such a handsome boy. Such an exquisite boy!”
Groholsky pondered, while Liza went on talking and talking.
Groholsky thought while Liza kept on talking and talking.
“This is an unexpected meeting,” said Groholsky, after prolonged and, as usual, harrassing reflection. “Well, who could have expected that we should meet here? Well. . . There it is. . . . So be it. It seems that it is fated. I can imagine the awkwardness of his position when he meets us.”
“This is an unexpected meeting,” Groholsky said after a long and, as usual, stressful contemplation. “Well, who could have thought we’d run into each other here? Anyway... It is what it is... So be it. I can picture how awkward his situation will be when he sees us.”
“Shall we have Misha to stay with us?”
“Should we have Misha stay with us?”
“Yes, we will. . . . It will be awkward meeting him. . . . Why, what can I say to him? What can I talk of? It will be awkward for him and awkward for me. . . . We ought not to meet. We will carry on communications, if necessary, through the servants. . . . My head does ache so, Lizotchka. My arms and legs too, I ache all over. Is my head feverish?”
“Yes, we will. . . . It’s going to be awkward meeting him. . . . What can I say to him? What do I even talk about? It’ll be uncomfortable for both of us. . . . We shouldn’t meet. We can communicate, if needed, through the servants. . . . My head really hurts, Lizotchka. My arms and legs ache too; I’m sore all over. Do I feel feverish?”
Liza put her hand on his forehead and found that his head was hot.
Liza placed her hand on his forehead and noticed that he was running a fever.
“I had dreadful dreams all night . . . I shan’t get up to-day. I shall stay in bed . . . I must take some quinine. Send me my breakfast here, little woman.”
“I had terrible dreams all night . . . I'm not getting up today. I’ll stay in bed . . . I need to take some quinine. Bring my breakfast here, dear.”
Groholsky took quinine and lay in bed the whole day. He drank warm water, moaned, had the sheets and pillowcase changed, whimpered, and induced an agonising boredom in all surrounding him.
Groholsky took quinine and stayed in bed all day. He drank warm water, moaned, had the sheets and pillowcase changed, whimpered, and created an unbearable boredom for everyone around him.
He was insupportable when he imagined he had caught a chill. Liza had continually to interrupt her inquisitive observations and run from the verandah to his room. At dinner-time she had to put on mustard plasters. How boring all this would have been, O reader, if the villa opposite had not been at the service of my heroine! Liza watched that villa all day long and was gasping with happiness.
He was unbearable when he thought he had caught a cold. Liza had to constantly interrupt her curious observations and run from the porch to his room. At dinner time, she had to put on mustard plasters. How dull all this would have been, dear reader, if the villa across the street hadn’t been there for my heroine! Liza watched that villa all day long and was filled with happiness.
At ten o’clock Ivan Petrovitch and Mishutka came back from fishing and had breakfast. At two o’clock they had dinner, and at four o’clock they drove off somewhere in a carriage. The white horses bore them away with the swiftness of lightning. At seven o’clock visitors came to see them—all of them men. They were playing cards on two tables in the verandah till midnight. One of the men played superbly on the piano. The visitors played, ate, drank, and laughed. Ivan Petrovitch guffawing loudly, told them an anecdote of Armenian life at the top of his voice, so that all the villas round could hear. It was very gay and Mishutka sat up with them till midnight.
At ten o’clock, Ivan Petrovitch and Mishutka returned from fishing and had breakfast. At two o’clock, they had lunch, and at four o’clock, they set off somewhere in a carriage. The white horses took off with lightning speed. At seven o’clock, visitors came to see them—all men. They played cards on two tables in the veranda until midnight. One of the men played the piano beautifully. The visitors played, ate, drank, and laughed. Ivan Petrovitch laughed loudly, telling them a story about Armenian life at the top of his voice so that everyone in the nearby villas could hear. It was very lively, and Mishutka stayed up with them until midnight.
“Misha is merry, he is not crying,” thought Liza, “so he does not remember his mamma. So he has forgotten me!”
“Misha is happy, he’s not crying,” thought Liza, “so he doesn’t remember his mom. So he’s forgotten me!”
And there was a horrible bitter feeling in Liza’s soul. She spent the whole night crying. She was fretted by her little conscience, and by vexation and misery, and the desire to talk to Mishutka and kiss him. . . . In the morning she got up with a headache and tear-stained eyes. Her tears Groholsky put down to his own account.
And there was a terrible, bitter feeling in Liza’s heart. She spent the entire night crying. She was troubled by her guilty conscience, along with frustration and sadness, and the urge to talk to Mishutka and kiss him... In the morning, she woke up with a headache and eyes stained with tears. Groholsky assumed her tears were because of him.
“Do not weep, darling,” he said to her, “I am all right to-day, my chest is a little painful, but that is nothing.”
“Don’t cry, darling,” he said to her, “I’m fine today, my chest hurts a bit, but that’s nothing.”
While they were having tea, lunch was being served at the villa opposite. Ivan Petrovitch was looking at his plate, and seeing nothing but a morsel of goose dripping with fat.
While they were having tea, lunch was being served at the villa across the way. Ivan Petrovitch was staring at his plate, seeing nothing but a piece of goose dripping with fat.
“I am very glad,” said Groholsky, looking askance at Bugrov, “very glad that his life is so tolerable! I hope that decent surroundings anyway may help to stifle his grief. Keep out of sight, Liza! They will see you . . . I am not disposed to talk to him just now . . . God be with him! Why trouble his peace?”
“I’m really glad,” Groholsky said, glancing sideways at Bugrov, “really glad that his life is bearable! I hope that having decent surroundings might help ease his pain. Stay out of sight, Liza! They’ll see you . . . I’m not in the mood to talk to him right now . . . God be with him! Why disturb his peace?”
But the dinner did not pass off so quietly. During dinner precisely that “awkward position” which Groholsky so dreaded occurred. Just when the partridges, Groholsky’s favorite dish, had been put on the table, Liza was suddenly overcome with confusion, and Groholsky began wiping his face with his dinner napkin. On the verandah of the villa opposite they saw Bugrov. He was standing with his arms leaning on the parapet, and staring straight at them, with his eyes starting out of his head.
But the dinner didn't go as smoothly as expected. Right at the moment when the partridges, Groholsky’s favorite dish, were served, Liza suddenly became flustered, and Groholsky started wiping his face with his napkin. On the veranda of the villa across the way, they spotted Bugrov. He was leaning on the railing, staring directly at them, his eyes bulging.
“Go in, Liza, go in,” Groholsky whispered. “I said we must have dinner indoors! What a girl you are, really. . . .”
“Go in, Liza, go in,” Groholsky whispered. “I said we need to have dinner inside! What a girl you are, seriously. . . .”
Bugrov stared and stared, and suddenly began shouting. Groholsky looked at him and saw a face full of astonishment. . . .
Bugrov kept staring, and then suddenly started shouting. Groholsky looked at him and saw a face full of shock. . . .
“Is that you?” bawled Ivan Petrovitch, “you! Are you here too?”
“Is that you?” shouted Ivan Petrovitch. “You! Are you here too?”
Groholsky passed his fingers from one shoulder to another, as though to say, “My chest is weak, and so I can’t shout across such a distance.” Liza’s heart began throbbing, and everything turned round before her eyes. Bugrov ran from his verandah, ran across the road, and a few seconds later was standing under the verandah on which Groholsky and Liza were dining. Alas for the partridges!
Groholsky glided his fingers from one shoulder to the other, as if to say, “My chest is weak, so I can’t shout that far.” Liza’s heart started racing, and everything spun before her eyes. Bugrov dashed out from his porch, crossed the road, and moments later was standing under the porch where Groholsky and Liza were having dinner. Poor partridges!
“How are you?” he began, flushing crimson, and stuffing his big hands in his pockets. “Are you here? Are you here too?”
“How are you?” he started, his face turning red, as he shoved his big hands into his pockets. “Are you here? Are you here too?”
“Yes, we are here too. . . .”
“Yes, we’re here too. . . .”
“How did you get here?”
"How did you arrive here?"
“Why, how did you?”
"How did you do that?"
“I? It’s a long story, a regular romance, my good friend! But don’t put yourselves out—eat your dinner! I’ve been living, you know, ever since then . . . in the Oryol province. I rented an estate. A splendid estate! But do eat your dinner! I stayed there from the end of May, but now I have given it up. . . . It was cold there, and—well, the doctor advised me to go to the Crimea. . . .”
“I? It’s a long story, a typical romance, my good friend! But don’t worry about me—enjoy your dinner! I’ve been living, you know, ever since then... in the Oryol province. I rented a place. A beautiful place! But do eat your dinner! I stayed there from the end of May, but now I’ve given it up... It was cold there, and—well, the doctor suggested I go to the Crimea...”
“Are you ill, then?” inquired Groholsky.
“Are you sick, then?” Groholsky asked.
“Oh, well. . . . There always seems, as it were . . . something gurgling here. . . .”
“Oh, well... There always seems to be, you know... something gurgling here...”
And at the word “here” Ivan Petrovitch passed his open hand from his neck down to the middle of his stomach.
And at the word “here,” Ivan Petrovitch ran his open hand from his neck down to the middle of his stomach.
“So you are here too. . . . Yes . . . that’s very pleasant. Have you been here long?”
“So you’re here too… Yes… that’s really nice. Have you been here long?”
“Since July.”
"Since July."
“Oh, and you, Liza, how are you? Quite well?”
“Oh, and you, Liza, how are you? Doing alright?”
“Quite well,” answered Liza, and was embarrassed.
“Pretty good,” Liza replied, feeling embarrassed.
“You miss Mishutka, I’ll be bound. Eh? Well, he’s here with me. . . . I’ll send him over to you directly with Nikifor. This is very nice. Well, good-bye! I have to go off directly. . . . I made the acquaintance of Prince Ter-Haimazov yesterday; delightful man, though he is an Armenian. So he has a croquet party to-day; we are going to play croquet. . . . Good-bye! The carriage is waiting . . . .”
“You're missing Mishutka, aren’t you? Well, he's right here with me. I’ll send him over to you right away with Nikifor. This is really nice. Anyway, I have to head out now. I met Prince Ter-Haimazov yesterday; he’s a charming guy, even if he is Armenian. He’s having a croquet party today; we’re going to play croquet. So, good-bye! The carriage is waiting for me…”
Ivan Petrovitch whirled round, tossed his head, and, waving adieu to them, ran home.
Ivan Petrovitch spun around, tossed his head, and, waving goodbye to them, ran home.
“Unhappy man,” said Groholsky, heaving a deep sigh as he watched him go off.
“Unhappy guy,” Groholsky said with a deep sigh as he watched him walk away.
“In what way is he unhappy?” asked Liza.
“In what way is he unhappy?” Liza asked.
“To see you and not have the right to call you his!”
“To see you and not be allowed to call you his!”
“Fool!” Liza was so bold to think. “Idiot!”
"Fool!" Liza thought boldly. "Idiot!"
Before evening Liza was hugging and kissing Mishutka. At first the boy howled, but when he was offered jam, he was all friendly smiles.
Before evening, Liza was hugging and kissing Mishutka. At first, the boy howled, but when he was offered jam, he was all friendly smiles.
For three days Groholsky and Liza did not see Bugrov. He had disappeared somewhere, and was only at home at night. On the fourth day he visited them again at dinner-time. He came in, shook hands with both of them, and sat down to the table. His face was serious.
For three days, Groholsky and Liza didn't see Bugrov. He had vanished somewhere and was only at home at night. On the fourth day, he came to visit them again around dinner time. He walked in, shook hands with both of them, and sat down at the table. His expression was serious.
“I have come to you on business,” he said. “Read this.” And he handed Groholsky a letter. “Read it! Read it aloud!”
“I’ve come to you for business,” he said. “Read this.” And he handed Groholsky a letter. “Read it! Read it out loud!”
Groholsky read as follows:
Groholsky stated the following:
“My beloved and consoling, never-forgotten son Ioann! I have received the respectful and loving letter in which you invite your aged father to the mild and salubrious Crimea, to breathe the fragrant air, and behold strange lands. To that letter I reply that on taking my holiday, I will come to you, but not for long. My colleague, Father Gerasim, is a frail and delicate man, and cannot be left alone for long. I am very sensible of your not forgetting your parents, your father and your mother. . . . You rejoice your father with your affection, and you remember your mother in your prayers, and so it is fitting to do. Meet me at Feodosia. What sort of town is Feodosia—what is it like? It will be very agreeable to see it. Your godmother, who took you from the font, is called Feodosia. You write that God has been graciously pleased that you should win two hundred thousand roubles. That is gratifying to me. But I cannot approve of your having left the service while still of a grade of little importance; even a rich man ought to be in the service. I bless you always, now and hereafter. Ilya and Seryozhka Andronov send you their greetings. You might send them ten roubles each—they are badly off!
“My beloved and comforting, never-forgotten son Ioann! I received your thoughtful and loving letter inviting your aging father to the pleasant and healthy Crimea, to enjoy the fresh air and see new places. In response, I’ll visit you during my vacation, but I won’t stay long. My colleague, Father Gerasim, is a fragile man who can’t be left alone for too long. I truly appreciate that you haven’t forgotten your parents, your father and your mother... Your affection brings joy to your father, and your prayers for your mother are just right. Let’s meet in Feodosia. What kind of place is Feodosia—what’s it like? I’d really enjoy seeing it. Your godmother, who was there for your baptism, is named Feodosia. You mentioned that God has blessed you with a fortune of two hundred thousand roubles. That makes me happy. However, I can’t support your decision to leave your position while still at a low rank; even a wealthy person should be in a job. I always bless you, now and forever. Ilya and Seryozhka Andronov send their regards. You should consider sending them ten roubles each—they’re in a tough spot!”
“Your loving Father, “Pyotr Bugrov, Priest.”
“Your loving Dad, “Pyotr Bugrov, Priest.”
Groholsky read this letter aloud, and he and Liza both looked inquiringly at Bugrov.
Groholsky read the letter out loud, and he and Liza both looked at Bugrov with curiosity.
“You see what it is,” Ivan Petrovitch began hesitatingly. “I should like to ask you, Liza, not to let him see you, to keep out of his sight while he is here. I have written to him that you are ill and gone to the Caucasus for a cure. If you meet him. . . You see yourself. . . . It’s awkward. . . H’m. . . .”
“You get what I mean,” Ivan Petrovitch started nervously. “I’d like to ask you, Liza, to avoid him, to stay out of his sight while he’s here. I told him you’re sick and have gone to the Caucasus for treatment. If you run into him… You can see how that would be… It’s complicated… Hm…”
“Very well,” said Liza.
"Alright," said Liza.
“We can do that,” thought Groholsky, “since he makes sacrifices, why shouldn’t we?”
“We can do that,” thought Groholsky, “if he’s making sacrifices, why shouldn’t we?”
“Please do. . . . If he sees you there will be trouble. . . . My father is a man of strict principles. He would curse me in seven churches. Don’t go out of doors, Liza, that is all. He won’t be here long. Don’t be afraid.”
“Please do. . . . If he sees you, there will be trouble. . . . My father is very principled. He would disown me in a heartbeat. Don’t go outside, Liza, that’s all. He won’t be around for long. Don’t be scared.”
Father Pyotr did not long keep them waiting. One fine morning Ivan Petrovitch ran in and hissed in a mysterious tone:
Father Pyotr didn’t make them wait long. One nice morning, Ivan Petrovitch ran in and whispered in a mysterious tone:
“He has come! He is asleep now, so please be careful.”
“He’s here! He’s asleep right now, so please be careful.”
And Liza was shut up within four walls. She did not venture to go out into the yard or on to the verandah. She could only see the sky from behind the window curtain. Unluckily for her, Ivan Petrovitch’s papa spent his whole time in the open air, and even slept on the verandah. Usually Father Pyotr, a little parish priest, in a brown cassock and a top hat with a curly brim, walked slowly round the villas and gazed with curiosity at the “strange lands” through his grandfatherly spectacles. Ivan Petrovitch with the Stanislav on a little ribbon accompanied him. He did not wear a decoration as a rule, but before his own people he liked to show off. In their society he always wore the Stanislav.
And Liza was stuck inside. She didn’t dare to go out into the yard or onto the porch. The only view of the sky she had was through the window curtain. Unfortunately for her, Ivan Petrovitch's dad spent all his time outside and even slept on the porch. Usually, Father Pyotr, a small-town priest dressed in a brown robe and a top hat with a curly brim, strolled slowly around the villas, curiously looking at the “strange lands” through his grandfatherly glasses. Ivan Petrovitch, wearing the Stanislav on a little ribbon, accompanied him. He typically didn’t wear a medal, but in front of his own people, he liked to show it off. In their company, he always wore the Stanislav.
Liza was bored to death. Groholsky suffered too. He had to go for his walks alone without a companion. He almost shed tears, but . . . had to submit to his fate. And to make things worse, Bugrov would run across every morning and in a hissing whisper would give some quite unnecessary bulletin concerning the health of Father Pyotr. He bored them with those bulletins.
Liza was completely bored. Groholsky felt the same way. He had to take his walks alone without anyone to join him. He was close to crying, but... he had to accept his situation. To make matters worse, Bugrov would rush by every morning and, in a hissing whisper, share some completely unnecessary updates about Father Pyotr's health. Those updates annoyed them.
“He slept well,” he informed them. “Yesterday he was put out because I had no salted cucumbers. . . He has taken to Mishutka; he keeps patting him on the head.”
“He slept well,” he told them. “Yesterday he was upset because I didn’t have any salted cucumbers... He’s taken a liking to Mishutka; he keeps petting him on the head.”
At last, a fortnight later, little Father Pyotr walked for the last time round the villas and, to Groholsky’s immense relief, departed. He had enjoyed himself, and went off very well satisfied. Liza and Groholsky fell back into their old manner of life. Groholsky once more blessed his fate. But his happiness did not last for long. A new trouble worse than Father Pyotr followed. Ivan Petrovitch took to coming to see them every day. Ivan Petrovitch, to be frank, though a capital fellow, was a very tedious person. He came at dinner-time, dined with them and stayed a very long time. That would not have mattered. But they had to buy vodka, which Groholsky could not endure, for his dinner. He would drink five glasses and talk the whole dinner-time. That, too, would not have mattered. . . . But he would sit on till two o’clock in the morning, and not let them get to bed, and, worse still, he permitted himself to talk of things about which he should have been silent. When towards two o’clock in the morning he had drunk too much vodka and champagne, he would take Mishutka in his arms, and weeping, say to him, before Groholsky and Liza:
At last, two weeks later, little Father Pyotr walked around the villas for the last time, and to Groholsky’s great relief, he left. He had a good time and went off feeling very satisfied. Liza and Groholsky slipped back into their usual routine. Groholsky once again felt grateful for his situation. But his happiness didn't last long. A new trouble, worse than Father Pyotr, arrived. Ivan Petrovitch started visiting them every day. To be honest, Ivan Petrovitch was a good guy, but he was also really boring. He would come during dinner, eat with them, and stick around for a long time. That wouldn't have been a big deal, but they had to buy vodka for him, which Groholsky couldn’t stand. He would drink five glasses and talk the whole dinner. That wouldn’t have been so bad... But he would keep talking until two in the morning, not letting them go to bed, and even worse, he talked about things he should have kept quiet about. When he had drunk too much vodka and champagne around two in the morning, he would pick up Mishutka and, crying, say to him in front of Groholsky and Liza:
“Mihail, my son, what am I? I . . . am a scoundrel. I have sold your mother! Sold her for thirty pieces of silver, may the Lord punish me! Mihail Ivanitch, little sucking pig, where is your mother? Lost! Gone! Sold into slavery! Well, I am a scoundrel.”
“Mihail, my son, what am I? I... am a disgrace. I’ve sold your mother! Sold her for thirty pieces of silver, may the Lord punish me! Mihail Ivanitch, little piglet, where is your mother? Lost! Gone! Sold into slavery! Well, I’m a disgrace.”
These tears and these words turned Groholsky’s soul inside out. He would look timidly at Liza’s pale face and wring his hands.
These tears and words revealed Groholsky’s true feelings. He would glance nervously at Liza’s pale face and nervously wring his hands.
“Go to bed, Ivan Petrovitch,” he would say timidly.
“Go to bed, Ivan Petrovitch,” he would say softly.
“I am going. . . . Come along, Mishutka. . . . The Lord be our judge! I cannot think of sleep while I know that my wife is a slave . . . . But it is not Groholsky’s fault. . . . The goods were mine, the money his. . . . Freedom for the free and Heaven for the saved.”
“I’m leaving. . . . Come on, Mishutka. . . . May the Lord be our judge! I can’t think about sleeping while my wife is a slave . . . . But it’s not Groholsky’s fault. . . . The goods were mine, the money was his. . . . Freedom for the free and Heaven for the saved.”
By day Ivan Petrovitch was no less insufferable to Groholsky. To Groholsky’s intense horror, he was always at Liza’s side. He went fishing with her, told her stories, walked with her, and even on one occasion, taking advantage of Groholsky’s having a cold, carried her off in his carriage, goodness knows where, and did not bring her back till night!
By day, Ivan Petrovitch was just as unbearable to Groholsky. To Groholsky’s utmost horror, he was always by Liza’s side. He went fishing with her, told her stories, walked with her, and even one time, taking advantage of Groholsky’s cold, whisked her off in his carriage, who knows where, and didn’t bring her back until night!
“It’s outrageous, inhuman,” thought Groholsky, biting his lips.
“It’s outrageous, inhumane,” thought Groholsky, biting his lips.
Groholsky liked to be continually kissing Liza. He could not exist without those honeyed kisses, and it was awkward to kiss her before Ivan Petrovitch. It was agony. The poor fellow felt forlorn, but fate soon had compassion on him. Ivan Petrovitch suddenly went off somewhere for a whole week. Visitors had come and carried him off with them . . . And Mishutka was taken too.
Groholsky loved to be kissing Liza all the time. He couldn't live without those sweet kisses, and it felt weird to kiss her in front of Ivan Petrovitch. It was torture for him. The poor guy felt lonely, but fate soon showed him some mercy. Ivan Petrovitch suddenly left for a whole week. Some visitors came and took him away... And Mishutka went with him too.
One fine morning Groholsky came home from a walk good-humoured and beaming.
One beautiful morning, Groholsky returned home from a walk, cheerful and smiling.
“He has come,” he said to Liza, rubbing his hands. “I am very glad he has come. Ha-ha-ha!”
“He's here,” he told Liza, rubbing his hands together. “I’m really glad he’s here. Ha-ha-ha!”
“What are you laughing at?”
“What’s so funny?”
“There are women with him.”
“Women are with him.”
“What women?”
"What women?"
“I don’t know. . . . It’s a good thing he has got women. . . . A capital thing, in fact. . . . He is still young and fresh. Come here! Look!”
“I don’t know... It’s a good thing he has women. ... A great thing, actually... He’s still young and fresh. Come here! Look!”
Groholsky led Liza on to the verandah, and pointed to the villa opposite. They both held their sides, and roared with laughter. It was funny. Ivan Petrovitch was standing on the verandah of the villa opposite, smiling. Two dark-haired ladies and Mishutka were standing below, under the verandah. The ladies were laughing, and loudly talking French.
Groholsky took Liza out to the porch and directed her attention to the villa across the way. They both doubled over and burst into laughter. It was hilarious. Ivan Petrovitch was on the porch of the villa across the way, smiling. Two dark-haired women and Mishutka were standing below, under the porch. The women were laughing and chatting loudly in French.
“French women,” observed Groholsky. “The one nearest us isn’t at all bad-looking. Lively damsels, but that’s no matter. There are good women to be found even among such. . . . But they really do go too far.”
“French women,” Groholsky noted. “The one closest to us isn’t bad-looking at all. They’re lively, but that doesn’t matter. You can find good women even among them. . . . But they really do go overboard.”
What was funny was that Ivan Petrovitch bent across the verandah, and stretching with his long arms, put them round the shoulders of one of the French girls, lifted her in the air, and set her giggling on the verandah. After lifting up both ladies on to the verandah, he lifted up Mishutka too. The ladies ran down and the proceedings were repeated.
What was funny was that Ivan Petrovitch leaned over the verandah, and reaching out with his long arms, put them around the shoulders of one of the French girls, lifted her up, and made her giggle on the verandah. After raising both ladies onto the verandah, he lifted up Mishutka too. The ladies ran downstairs and the whole thing happened again.
“Powerful muscles, I must say,” muttered Groholsky looking at this scene. The operation was repeated some six times, the ladies were so amiable as to show no embarrassment whatever when the boisterous wind disposed of their inflated skirts as it willed while they were being lifted. Groholsky dropped his eyes in a shamefaced way when the ladies flung their legs over the parapet as they reached the verandah. But Liza watched and laughed! What did she care? It was not a case of men misbehaving themselves, which would have put her, as a woman, to shame, but of ladies.
“Powerful muscles, I have to say,” Groholsky muttered, taking in the scene. The process was repeated about six times, and the women were so gracious that they showed no embarrassment at all when the strong wind lifted their billowing skirts as it pleased while they were being raised. Groholsky lowered his gaze in an embarrassed manner when the women swung their legs over the parapet as they reached the veranda. But Liza watched and laughed! What did she care? It wasn't a situation of men behaving badly, which would have embarrassed her as a woman, but rather of ladies.
In the evening, Ivan Petrovitch flew over, and with some embarrassment announced that he was now a man with a household to look after . . . .
In the evening, Ivan Petrovitch came over and, feeling a bit awkward, announced that he was now a man responsible for a household to take care of . . . .
“You mustn’t imagine they are just anybody,” he said. “It is true they are French. They shout at the top of their voices, and drink . . . but we all know! The French are brought up to be like that! It can’t be helped. . . . The prince,” Ivan Petrovitch added, “let me have them almost for nothing. . . . He said: ‘take them, take them. . . .’ I must introduce you to the prince sometime. A man of culture! He’s for ever writing, writing. . . . And do you know what their names are? One is Fanny, the other Isabella. . . . There’s Europe, ha-ha-ha! . . . The west! Good-bye!”
“You shouldn't think they're just anyone,” he said. “It's true they're French. They yell at the top of their lungs and drink... but we all know! The French are raised to be like that! There's nothing you can do about it... The prince,” Ivan Petrovitch added, “let me have them for almost nothing... He said: ‘take them, take them...’ I really should introduce you to the prince sometime. A cultured man! He's always writing, writing... And do you know their names? One is Fanny, the other Isabella... Just look at Europe, ha-ha-ha!... The West! Goodbye!”
Ivan Petrovitch left Liza and Groholsky in peace, and devoted himself to his ladies. All day long sound of talk, laughter, and the clatter of crockery came from his villa. . . . The lights were not put out till far into the night. . . . Groholsky was in bliss. . . . At last, after a prolonged interval of agony, he felt happy and at peace again. Ivan Petrovitch with his two ladies had no such happiness as he had with one. But alas, destiny has no heart. She plays with the Groholskys, the Lizas, the Ivans, and the Mishutkas as with pawns. . . . Groholsky lost his peace again. . . .
Ivan Petrovitch left Liza and Groholsky alone and focused on his ladies. All day long, the sounds of conversation, laughter, and the clattering of dishes came from his villa. The lights stayed on late into the night. Groholsky was in bliss. After a long period of distress, he finally felt happy and at peace again. Ivan Petrovitch with his two ladies didn’t have the same happiness as he did with one. But unfortunately, fate has no compassion. It treats the Groholskys, the Lizas, the Ivans, and the Mishutkas like pieces on a chessboard. Groholsky lost his peace once again.
One morning, about ten days afterwards, on waking up late, he went out on to the verandah and saw a spectacle which shocked him, revolted him, and moved him to intense indignation. Under the verandah of the villa opposite stood the French women, and between them Liza. She was talking and looking askance at her own villa as though to see whether that tyrant, that despot were awake (so Groholsky interpreted those looks). Ivan Petrovitch standing on the verandah with his sleeves tucked up, lifted Isabella into the air, then Fanny, and then Liza. When he was lifting Liza it seemed to Groholsky that he pressed her to himself. . . . Liza too flung one leg over the parapet. . . . Oh these women! All sphinxes, every one of them!
One morning, about ten days later, after waking up late, he stepped out onto the balcony and saw a scene that shocked, revolted, and filled him with intense anger. Under the balcony of the villa across from him stood the French women, with Liza among them. She was chatting and glancing back at her own villa as if checking to see whether that tyrant, that despot, was awake (so Groholsky interpreted those glances). Ivan Petrovitch stood on the balcony with his sleeves rolled up, lifting Isabella into the air, then Fanny, and then Liza. When he lifted Liza, Groholsky felt as if he was pulling her close. . . . Liza also swung one leg over the railing. . . . Oh, these women! All sphinxes, every one of them!
When Liza returned home from her husband’s villa and went into the bedroom on tip-toe, as though nothing had happened, Groholsky, pale, with hectic flushes on his cheeks, was lying in the attitude of a man at his last gasp and moaning.
When Liza got back home from her husband's villa and quietly entered the bedroom, as if nothing had happened, Groholsky was lying there, pale with feverish flushes on his cheeks, looking like a man on the brink of death and moaning.
On seeing Liza, he sprang out of bed, and began pacing about the bedroom.
On seeing Liza, he jumped out of bed and started pacing around the bedroom.
“So that’s what you are like, is it?” he shrieked in a high tenor. “So that’s it! Very much obliged to you! It’s revolting, madam! Immoral, in fact! Let me tell you that!”
“So that’s what you’re like, huh?” he yelled in a high-pitched voice. “So that’s how it is! Thanks a lot! It’s disgusting, ma’am! It’s actually immoral! Just so you know!”
Liza turned pale, and of course burst into tears. When women feel that they are in the right, they scold and shed tears; when they are conscious of being in fault, they shed tears only.
Liza went pale and immediately started crying. When women believe they are right, they scold and cry; when they know they are in the wrong, they only cry.
“On a level with those depraved creatures! It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s . . . lower than any impropriety! Why, do you know what they are? They are kept women! Cocottes! And you a respectable woman go rushing off where they are. . . And he . . . He! What does he want? What more does he want of me? I don’t understand it! I have given him half of my property—I have given him more! You know it yourself! I have given him what I have not myself. . . . I have given him almost all. . . . And he! I’ve put up with your calling him Vanya, though he has no right whatever to such intimacy. I have put up with your walks, kisses after dinner. . . . I have put up with everything, but this I will not put up with. . . . Either he or I! Let him go away, or I go away! I’m not equal to living like this any longer, no! You can see that for yourself! . . . Either he or I. . . . Enough! The cup is brimming over. . . . I have suffered a great deal as it is. . . . I am going to talk to him at once—this minute! What is he, after all? What has he to be proud of? No, indeed. . . . He has no reason to think so much of himself . . . .”
“On the same level as those depraved people! It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s . . . worse than any wrongdoing! Do you even know what they are? They are kept women! Prostitutes! And you, a respectable woman, rushing off to where they are. . . And him . . . He! What does he want? What else does he want from me? I don’t get it! I’ve given him half of my property—I’ve given him even more! You know it! I’ve given him what I don’t even have for myself. . . . I’ve given him almost everything. . . . And he! I’ve tolerated you calling him Vanya, even though he has no right to such familiarity. I’ve allowed your walks, your kisses after dinner. . . . I’ve put up with everything, but I won’t put up with this anymore. . . . Either he leaves, or I leave! I can't live like this any longer, no! You can see that for yourself! . . . Either he or I. . . . Enough! I’ve had it up to here. . . . I’ve already suffered so much. . . . I’m going to talk to him right now—this very minute! What is he, anyway? What does he have to be proud of? No, really. . . . He has no reason to think so highly of himself . . . .”
Groholsky said a great many more valiant and stinging things, but did not “go at once”; he felt timid and abashed. . . . He went to Ivan Petrovitch three days later.
Groholsky said many more brave and biting things, but did not “go at once”; he felt shy and embarrassed. . . . He visited Ivan Petrovitch three days later.
When he went into his apartment, he gaped with astonishment. He was amazed at the wealth and luxury with which Bugrov had surrounded himself. Velvet hangings, fearfully expensive chairs. . . . One was positively ashamed to step on the carpet. Groholsky had seen many rich men in his day, but he had never seen such frenzied luxury. . . . And the higgledy-piggledy muddle he saw when, with an inexplicable tremor, he walked into the drawing-room—plates with bits of bread on them were lying about on the grand piano, a glass was standing on a chair, under the table there was a basket with a filthy rag in it. . . . Nut shells were strewn about in the windows. Bugrov himself was not quite in his usual trim when Groholsky walked in . . . . With a red face and uncombed locks he was pacing about the room in deshabille, talking to himself, apparently much agitated. Mishutka was sitting on the sofa there in the drawing-room, and was making the air vibrate with a piercing scream.
When he entered his apartment, he was stunned. He couldn’t believe the wealth and luxury that Bugrov had surrounded himself with. Velvet drapes, outrageously expensive chairs... It felt almost embarrassing to step on the carpet. Groholsky had seen many wealthy people in his time, but he had never encountered such extreme luxury... And the chaotic mess he found when, with an unexplainable tremor, he stepped into the living room—plates with leftover bread scattered on the grand piano, a glass perched on a chair, a basket with a filthy rag under the table... Nut shells were scattered on the windowsills. Bugrov himself didn’t look quite put together when Groholsky walked in... With a flushed face and messy hair, he was pacing the room in disarray, talking to himself, clearly agitated. Mishutka was sitting on the sofa in the living room, filling the air with a piercing scream.
“It’s awful, Grigory Vassilyevitch!” Bugrov began on seeing Groholsky, “such disorder . . . such disorder . . . Please sit down. You must excuse my being in the costume of Adam and Eve. . . . It’s of no consequence. . . . Horrible disorderliness! I don’t understand how people can exist here, I don’t understand it! The servants won’t do what they are told, the climate is horrible, everything is expensive. . . . Stop your noise,” Bugrov shouted, suddenly coming to a halt before Mishutka; “stop it, I tell you! Little beast, won’t you stop it?”
“It’s terrible, Grigory Vassilyevitch!” Bugrov said when he saw Groholsky, “such chaos... such chaos... Please sit down. You have to excuse me for being in this Adam and Eve outfit... It doesn’t matter... This horrible mess! I can’t believe how people can live here, I just can’t get it! The servants won’t listen, the weather is awful, everything costs a fortune... Quiet down,” Bugrov shouted, suddenly stopping in front of Mishutka; “be quiet, I’m telling you! Little pest, can’t you be quiet?”
And Bugrov pulled Mishutka’s ear.
And Bugrov tugged Mishutka’s ear.
“That’s revolting, Ivan Petrovitch,” said Groholsky in a tearful voice. “How can you treat a tiny child like that? You really are. . .”
"That's disgusting, Ivan Petrovitch," Groholsky said, his voice shaking with emotion. "How can you treat a little kid like that? You really are. . ."
“Let him stop yelling then. . . . Be quiet—I’ll whip you!”
“Then let him stop yelling. . . . Quiet down—I’ll beat you!”
“Don’t cry, Misha darling. . . . Papa won’t touch you again. Don’t beat him, Ivan Petrovitch; why, he is hardly more than a baby. . . . There, there. . . . Would you like a little horse? I’ll send you a little horse. . . . You really are hard-hearted. . . .”
“Don’t cry, Misha darling. . . . Dad won’t hurt you again. Don’t hit him, Ivan Petrovitch; he’s barely more than a baby. . . . There, there. . . . Would you like a little horse? I’ll get you a little horse. . . . You really are cold-hearted. . . .”
Groholsky paused, and then asked:
Groholsky paused and then asked:
“And how are your ladies getting on, Ivan Petrovitch?”
“And how are your ladies doing, Ivan Petrovitch?”
“Not at all. I’ve turned them out without ceremony. I might have gone on keeping them, but it’s awkward. . . . The boy will grow up . . . . A father’s example. . . . If I were alone, then it would be a different thing. . . . Besides, what’s the use of my keeping them? Poof . . . it’s a regular farce! I talk to them in Russian, and they answer me in French. They don’t understand a thing—you can’t knock anything into their heads.”
“Not at all. I’ve sent them away without any fuss. I could have kept them, but it’s complicated... The boy will grow up... A father’s influence... If I were by myself, it would be a different story... Besides, what’s the point of keeping them? Ugh... it’s a complete joke! I speak to them in Russian, and they reply in French. They don’t get a thing—you can’t drill anything into their heads.”
“I’ve come to you about something, Ivan Petrovitch, to talk things over. . . . H’m. . . . It’s nothing very particular. But just . . . two or three words. . . . In reality, I have a favour to ask of you.”
“I’ve come to talk to you about something, Ivan Petrovitch. Hm... It’s nothing too specific. Just... a couple of words. Actually, I have a favor to ask you.”
“What’s that?”
"What's that?"
“Would you think it possible, Ivan Petrovitch, to go away? We are delighted that you are here; it’s very agreeable for us, but it’s inconvenient, don’t you know. . . . You will understand me. It’s awkward in a way. . . . Such indefinite relations, such continual awkwardness in regard to one another. . . . We must part. . . . It’s essential in fact. Excuse my saying so, but . . . you must see for yourself, of course, that in such circumstances to be living side by side leads to . . . reflections . . . that is . . . not to reflections, but there is a certain awkward feeling. . . .”
“Do you think it’s possible, Ivan Petrovitch, for you to leave? We’re really happy you’re here; it’s great for us, but it’s a bit inconvenient, you know... You see what I mean. It’s kind of awkward... These undefined connections, this constant awkwardness between us... We need to separate... It’s actually essential. I hate to say it, but... you must realize, of course, that living so close in these circumstances leads to... thoughts... that is... not just thoughts, but it creates a certain awkward feeling...”
“Yes. . . . That is so, I have thought of it myself. Very good, I will go away.”
“Yes... That’s true, I’ve thought about it too. Alright, I’ll leave.”
“We shall be very grateful to you. . . . Believe me, Ivan Petrovitch, we shall preserve the most flattering memory of you. The sacrifice which you. . .”
“We will be very grateful to you. . . . Believe me, Ivan Petrovitch, we will keep the most flattering memory of you. The sacrifice that you. . .”
“Very good. . . . Only what am I to do with all this? I say, you buy this furniture of mine! What do you say? It’s not expensive, eight thousand . . . ten. . . . The furniture, the carriage, the grand piano. . . .”
“Great. . . . But what am I supposed to do with all this? Look, you should buy this furniture from me! What do you think? It’s not expensive, eight thousand . . . ten. . . . The furniture, the carriage, the grand piano. . . .”
“Very good. . . . I will give you ten thousand. . . .”
“Very good... I’ll give you ten thousand...”
“Well, that is capital! I will set off to-morrow. I shall go to Moscow. It’s impossible to live here. Everything is so dear! Awfully dear! The money fairly flies. . . . You can’t take a step without spending a thousand! I can’t go on like that. I have a child to bring up. . . . Well, thank God that you will buy my furniture. . . . That will be a little more in hand, or I should have been regularly bankrupt. . . .”
“Well, that’s great! I’ll leave tomorrow. I’m heading to Moscow. It’s impossible to live here. Everything is so expensive! Really expensive! The money just disappears... You can’t take a step without spending a thousand! I can’t keep this up. I have a child to raise... Well, thank God you’ll buy my furniture... That’ll give me a bit more cash, or I would have been totally bankrupt...”
Groholsky got up, took leave of Bugrov, and went home rejoicing. In the evening he sent him ten thousand roubles.
Groholsky got up, said goodbye to Bugrov, and went home feeling happy. That evening, he sent him ten thousand roubles.
Early next morning Bugrov and Mishutka were already at Feodosia.
Early the next morning, Bugrov and Mishutka were already in Feodosia.
III
Several months had passed; spring had come. With spring, fine bright days had come too. Life was not so dull and hateful, and the earth was more fair to look upon. . . . There was a warm breeze from the sea and the open country. . . . The earth was covered with fresh grass, fresh leaves were green upon the trees. Nature had sprung into new life, and had put on new array.
Several months went by; spring arrived. With spring came beautiful, bright days. Life felt less dull and unpleasant, and the Earth looked nicer. There was a warm breeze coming from the sea and the countryside. The ground was covered in fresh grass, and new green leaves adorned the trees. Nature had come to life again, putting on a new dress.
It might be thought that new hopes and new desires would surge up in man when everything in nature is renewed, and young and fresh . . . but it is hard for man to renew life. . . .
It might seem that new hopes and desires would arise in people when everything in nature is refreshed and vibrant... but it's tough for people to renew their lives...
Groholsky was still living in the same villa. His hopes and desires, small and unexacting, were still concentrated on the same Liza, on her alone, and on nothing else! As before, he could not take his eyes off her, and gloated over the thought: how happy I am! The poor fellow really did feel awfully happy. Liza sat as before on the verandah, and unaccountably stared with bored eyes at the villa opposite and the trees near it through which there was a peep at the dark blue sea. . . . As before, she spent her days for the most part in silence, often in tears and from time to time in putting mustard plasters on Groholsky. She might be congratulated on one new sensation, however. There was a worm gnawing at her vitals. . . . That worm was misery. . . . She was fearfully miserable, pining for her son, for her old, her cheerful manner of life. Her life in the past had not been particularly cheerful, but still it was livelier than her present existence. When she lived with her husband she used from time to time to go to a theatre, to an entertainment, to visit acquaintances. But here with Groholsky it was all quietness and emptiness. . . . Besides, here there was one man, and he with his ailments and his continual mawkish kisses, was like an old grandfather for ever shedding tears of joy.
Groholsky was still living in the same villa. His hopes and desires, small and unassuming, were still focused on Liza, just her, and nothing else! Like before, he couldn't take his eyes off her and reveled in the thought: how happy I am! The poor guy genuinely felt incredibly happy. Liza sat as before on the verandah, inexplicably staring with bored eyes at the villa across the way and the trees nearby, through which there was a glimpse of the dark blue sea. . . . As before, she spent most of her days in silence, often in tears, and from time to time applying mustard plasters to Groholsky. However, she could be congratulated on one new sensation: there was a worm gnawing at her insides. . . . That worm was misery. . . . She was extremely miserable, longing for her son, for her old, cheerful way of life. Her life in the past hadn't been particularly cheerful, but it was definitely more lively than her current existence. When she lived with her husband, she would occasionally go to the theater, to social events, to visit friends. But here with Groholsky, it was all quiet and empty. . . . Besides, there was just one man here, and with his ailments and constant sentimental kisses, he was like an old grandfather always crying tears of joy.
It was boring! Here she had not Mihey Sergeyitch who used to be fond of dancing the mazurka with her. She had not Spiridon Nikolaitch, the son of the editor of the Provincial News. Spiridon Nikolaitch sang well and recited poetry. Here she had not a table set with lunch for visitors. She had not Gerasimovna, the old nurse who used to be continually grumbling at her for eating too much jam. . . . She had no one! There was simply nothing for her but to lie down and die of depression. Groholsky rejoiced in his solitude, but . . . he was wrong to rejoice in it. All too soon he paid for his egoism. At the beginning of May when the very air seemed to be in love and faint with happiness, Groholsky lost everything; the woman he loved and. . .
It was so dull! She didn't have Mihey Sergeyitch, who used to love dancing the mazurka with her. She didn't have Spiridon Nikolaitch, the son of the editor of the Provincial News. Spiridon Nikolaitch sang beautifully and recited poetry. She didn't have a table laid out with lunch for guests. She didn't have Gerasimovna, the old nurse who was always complaining about her eating too much jam. . . . She had no one! There was nothing left for her but to lie down and die of sadness. Groholsky enjoyed his solitude, but . . . he was wrong to take pleasure in it. Sooner or later, he had to pay for his selfishness. At the beginning of May, when the air felt like it was in love and full of happiness, Groholsky lost everything; the woman he loved and. . .
That year Bugrov, too, visited the Crimea. He did not take the villa opposite, but pottered about, going from one town to another with Mishutka. He spent his time eating, drinking, sleeping, and playing cards. He had lost all relish for fishing, shooting and the French women, who, between ourselves, had robbed him a bit. He had grown thin, lost his broad and beaming smiles, and had taken to dressing in canvas. Ivan Petrovitch from time to time visited Groholsky’s villa. He brought Liza jam, sweets, and fruit, and seemed trying to dispel her ennui. Groholsky was not troubled by these visits, especially as they were brief and infrequent, and were apparently paid on account of Mishutka, who could not under any circumstances have been altogether deprived of the privilege of seeing his mother. Bugrov came, unpacked his presents, and after saying a few words, departed. And those few words he said not to Liza but to Groholsky . . . . With Liza he was silent and Groholsky’s mind was at rest; but there is a Russian proverb which he would have done well to remember: “Don’t fear the dog that barks, but fear the dog that’s quiet. . . .” A fiendish proverb, but in practical life sometimes indispensable.
That year, Bugrov also visited Crimea. He didn't stay at the villa across the way but wandered from one town to another with Mishutka. He spent his time eating, drinking, sleeping, and playing cards. He had lost all interest in fishing, shooting, and the French women who, between us, had taken advantage of him a bit. He had become thin, lost his broad and cheerful smiles, and started dressing in canvas. Ivan Petrovitch visited Groholsky's villa from time to time. He brought Liza jam, sweets, and fruit, trying to lift her spirits. Groholsky didn’t mind these visits, especially since they were short and infrequent, and were clearly for Mishutka, who absolutely had to have the chance to see his mother. Bugrov arrived, unpacked his gifts, and after saying a few words, left. And those few words were directed at Groholsky, not Liza... With Liza, he stayed silent, which put Groholsky’s mind at ease; but there's a Russian proverb he should have kept in mind: “Don’t fear the dog that barks, but fear the dog that’s quiet...” A sinister proverb, but sometimes indispensable in real life.
As he was walking in the garden one day, Groholsky heard two voices in conversation. One voice was a man’s, the other was a woman’s. One belonged to Bugrov, the other to Liza. Groholsky listened, and turning white as death, turned softly towards the speakers. He halted behind a lilac bush, and proceeded to watch and listen. His arms and legs turned cold. A cold sweat came out upon his brow. He clutched several branches of the lilac that he might not stagger and fall down. All was over!
As he was walking in the garden one day, Groholsky heard two voices chatting. One voice was a man’s, the other was a woman’s. One belonged to Bugrov, the other to Liza. Groholsky listened, and turning pale, quietly moved closer to the speakers. He stopped behind a lilac bush and continued to watch and listen. His arms and legs felt cold. A cold sweat broke out on his forehead. He grabbed a few branches of the lilac to keep himself steady. It was all over!
Bugrov had his arm round Liza’s waist, and was saying to her:
Bugrov had his arm around Liza's waist and was saying to her:
“My darling! what are we to do? It seems it was God’s will. . . . I am a scoundrel. . . . I sold you. I was seduced by that Herod’s money, plague take him, and what good have I had from the money? Nothing but anxiety and display! No peace, no happiness, no position . . . . One sits like a fat invalid at the same spot, and never a step forwarder. . . . Have you heard that Andrushka Markuzin has been made a head clerk? Andrushka, that fool! While I stagnate. . . . Good heavens! I have lost you, I have lost my happiness. I am a scoundrel, a blackguard, how do you think I shall feel at the dread day of judgment?”
“My darling! What are we going to do? It seems it was God’s will... I’m a scoundrel... I sold you. I was tempted by that greedy man’s money, curse him, and what have I gained from it? Nothing but anxiety and showing off! No peace, no happiness, no standing... I’m stuck like an overweight invalid in the same spot, never moving forward... Have you heard that Andrushka Markuzin got promoted to head clerk? Andrushka, that fool! While I’m just stagnating... Good heavens! I’ve lost you, I’ve lost my happiness. I am a scoundrel, a lowlife; how do you think I will feel on that terrible day of judgment?”
“Let us go away, Vanya,” wailed Liza. “I am dull. . . . I am dying of depression.”
“Let’s get out of here, Vanya,” Liza cried. “I’m bored. . . . I’m dying of sadness.”
“We cannot, the money has been taken. . . .”
“We can’t, the money has been taken. . . .”
“Well, give it back again.”
“Okay, give it back.”
“I should be glad to, but . . . wait a minute. I have spent it all. We must submit, my girl. God is chastising us. Me for my covetousness and you for your frivolity. Well, let us be tortured. . . . It will be the better for us in the next world.”
“I’d love to, but... hold on. I’ve spent it all. We have to accept this, my girl. God is punishing us. Me for being greedy and you for being careless. Well, let’s endure this... It’ll be better for us in the next life.”
And in an access of religious feeling, Bugrov turned up his eyes to heaven.
And in a surge of religious emotion, Bugrov looked up to the sky.
“But I cannot go on living here; I am miserable.”
“But I can’t keep living here; I’m so unhappy.”
“Well, there is no help for it. I’m miserable too. Do you suppose I am happy without you? I am pining and wasting away! And my chest has begun to be bad! . . . You are my lawful wife, flesh of my flesh . . . one flesh. . . . You must live and bear it! While I . . . will drive over . . . visit you.”
“Well, there’s nothing we can do about it. I’m miserable too. Do you think I’m happy without you? I’m longing for you and wasting away! And my health is starting to decline! . . . You are my legal wife, part of me . . . one body. . . . You have to endure this! While I . . . will drive over . . . to see you.”
And bending down to Liza, Bugrov whispered, loudly enough, however, to be heard several yards away:
And leaning down to Liza, Bugrov whispered, but loud enough to be heard several yards away:
“I will come to you at night, Lizanka. . . . Don’t worry. . . . I am staying at Feodosia close by. . . . I will live here near you till I have run through everything . . . and I soon shall be at my last farthing! A-a-ah, what a life it is! Dreariness, ill . . . my chest is bad, and my stomach is bad.”
“I'll come to you at night, Lizanka... Don't worry... I'm staying nearby in Feodosia... I'll be living here close to you until I've exhausted everything... and I’ll soon be down to my last penny! Ugh, what a life this is! It's so dreary and miserable... my chest hurts, and my stomach is upset.”
Bugrov ceased speaking, and then it was Liza’s turn. . . . My God, the cruelty of that woman! She began weeping, complaining, enumerating all the defects of her lover and her own sufferings. Groholsky as he listened to her, felt that he was a villain, a miscreant, a murderer.
Bugrov stopped talking, and then it was Liza’s turn. . . . My God, the cruelty of that woman! She started to cry, venting her frustrations, listing all the flaws of her lover and her own pain. As Groholsky listened to her, he felt like a villain, a scoundrel, a murderer.
“He makes me miserable. . . .” Liza said in conclusion.
“He makes me miserable...” Liza said, wrapping up.
After kissing Liza at parting, and going out at the garden gate, Bugrov came upon Groholsky, who was standing at the gate waiting for him.
After kissing Liza goodbye and walking out through the garden gate, Bugrov ran into Groholsky, who was standing by the gate waiting for him.
“Ivan Petrovitch,” said Groholsky in the tone of a dying man, “I have seen and heard it all. . . It’s not honourable on your part, but I do not blame you. . . . You love her too, but you must understand that she is mine. Mine! I cannot live without her! How is it you don’t understand that? Granted that you love her, that you are miserable. . . . Have I not paid you, in part at least, for your sufferings? For God’s sake, go away! For God’s sake, go away! Go away from here for ever, I implore you, or you will kill me. . . .”
“Ivan Petrovitch,” Groholsky said in a voice like someone nearing death, “I’ve seen and heard everything. It’s not honorable of you, but I can’t blame you. You love her too, but you need to realize that she belongs to me. Mine! I can’t live without her! How can you not see that? Sure, you love her and feel miserable... Haven’t I at least compensated you for your pain? For God’s sake, just go! Please, go away! Leave this place forever, I beg you, or you’ll drive me to madness...”
“I have nowhere to go,” Bugrov said thickly.
“I have nowhere to go,” Bugrov said, his voice thick.
“H’m, you have squandered everything. . . . You are an impulsive man. Very well. . . . Go to my estate in the province of Tchernigov. If you like I will make you a present of the property. It’s a small estate, but a good one. . . . On my honour, it’s a good one!”
“Hmm, you’ve wasted everything... You’re an impulsive man. Fine... Go to my estate in the Tchernigov region. If you want, I’ll give you the property as a gift. It’s a small estate, but it’s a good one... I swear, it’s a good one!”
Bugrov gave a broad grin. He suddenly felt himself in the seventh heaven.
Bugrov beamed. He suddenly felt like he was on cloud nine.
“I will give it you. . . . This very day I will write to my steward and send him an authorisation for completing the purchase. You must tell everyone you have bought it. . . . Go away, I entreat you.”
“I will give it to you. . . . Today, I will write to my steward and send him the authorization to finalize the purchase. You need to tell everyone that you bought it. . . . Please, just go.”
“Very good, I will go. I understand.”
“Alright, I’ll go. I get it.”
“Let us go to a notary . . . at once,” said Groholsky, greatly cheered, and he went to order the carriage.
“Let’s go to a notary . . . right now,” said Groholsky, feeling really excited, and he went to call for the carriage.
On the following evening, when Liza was sitting on the garden seat where her rendezvous with Ivan Petrovitch usually took place, Groholsky went quietly to her. He sat down beside her, and took her hand.
On the next evening, while Liza was sitting on the garden bench where she usually met Ivan Petrovitch, Groholsky quietly approached her. He sat down next to her and took her hand.
“Are you dull, Lizotchka?” he said, after a brief silence. “Are you depressed? Why shouldn’t we go away somewhere? Why is it we always stay at home? We want to go about, to enjoy ourselves, to make acquaintances. . . . Don’t we?”
“Are you feeling down, Lizotchka?” he asked after a short pause. “Are you feeling sad? Why shouldn’t we go somewhere? Why do we always stay at home? We want to get out, have some fun, meet new people. . . . Don’t we?”
“I want nothing,” said Liza, and turned her pale, thin face towards the path by which Bugrov used to come to her.
“I want nothing,” Liza said, turning her pale, thin face toward the path that Bugrov used to take to her.
Groholsky pondered. He knew who it was she expected, who it was she wanted.
Groholsky thought about it. He knew who she was waiting for, who she really wanted.
“Let us go home, Liza,” he said, “it is damp here. . . .”
“Let’s go home, Liza,” he said, “it’s damp here. . . .”
“You go; I’ll come directly.”
"You go; I’ll follow."
Groholsky pondered again.
Groholsky thought again.
“You are expecting him?” he asked, and made a wry face as though his heart had been gripped with red-hot pincers.
“You're expecting him?” he asked, making a twisted face like his heart was being squeezed by red-hot pincers.
“Yes. . . . I want to give him the socks for Misha. . . .”
“Yes. . . . I want to give him the socks for Misha. . . .”
“He will not come.”
“He’s not coming.”
“How do you know?”
“How do you know that?”
“He has gone away. . . .”
“He's gone away. . . .”
Liza opened her eyes wide. . . .
Liza opened her eyes wide. . . .
“He has gone away, gone to the Tchernigov province. I have given him my estate. . . .”
“He’s gone away, gone to the Tchernigov province. I’ve given him my estate. . . .”
Liza turned fearfully pale, and caught at Groholsky’s shoulder to save herself from falling.
Liza went pale with fear and grabbed Groholsky's shoulder to keep from falling.
“I saw him off at the steamer at three o’clock.”
“I saw him off at the boat at three o’clock.”
Liza suddenly clutched at her head, made a movement, and falling on the seat, began shaking all over.
Liza suddenly grabbed her head, made a movement, and collapsed into the seat, shaking uncontrollably.
“Vanya,” she wailed, “Vanya! I will go to Vanya. . . . Darling!”
“Vanya,” she cried, “Vanya! I’m going to Vanya. . . . Honey!”
She had a fit of hysterics. . . .
She had a panic attack. . . .
And from that evening, right up to July, two shadows could be seen in the park in which the summer visitors took their walks. The shadows wandered about from morning till evening, and made the summer visitors feel dismal. . . . After Liza’s shadow invariably walked the shadow of Groholsky. . . . I call them shadows because they had both lost their natural appearance. They had grown thin and pale and shrunken, and looked more like shadows than living people. . . . Both were pining away like fleas in the classic anecdote of the Jew who sold insect powder.
And from that evening until July, two shadows could be seen in the park where summer visitors took their walks. The shadows roamed around from morning until evening, making the summer visitors feel gloomy. . . . Following Liza’s shadow was always Groholsky’s shadow. . . . I call them shadows because they had both lost their natural appearance. They had become thin, pale, and frail, looking more like shadows than real people. . . . Both were withering away like fleas in the classic story about the Jew who sold insect powder.
At the beginning of July, Liza ran away from Groholsky, leaving a note in which she wrote that she was going for a time to “her son” . . . For a time! She ran away by night when Groholsky was asleep . . . . After reading her letter Groholsky spent a whole week wandering round about the villa as though he were mad, and neither ate nor slept. In August, he had an attack of recurrent fever, and in September he went abroad. There he took to drink. . . . He hoped in drink and dissipation to find comfort. . . . He squandered all his fortune, but did not succeed, poor fellow, in driving out of his brain the image of the beloved woman with the kittenish face . . . . Men do not die of happiness, nor do they die of misery. Groholsky’s hair went grey, but he did not die: he is alive to this day. . . . He came back from abroad to have “just a peep” at Liza . . . . Bugrov met him with open arms, and made him stay for an indefinite period. He is staying with Bugrov to this day.
At the beginning of July, Liza ran away from Groholsky, leaving a note saying she was going to see “her son” for a while. She left at night while Groholsky was asleep. After reading her letter, Groholsky spent a whole week wandering around the villa as if he were insane, and he neither ate nor slept. In August, he had a bout of recurring fever, and in September he went abroad. There, he turned to drinking. He hoped that through alcohol and partying he would find solace. He wasted all his money, but unfortunately, he couldn’t get the image of the woman he loved with the kittenish face out of his mind. People don’t die from happiness, nor do they die from misery. Groholsky's hair turned grey, but he didn’t die; he is still alive today. He returned from abroad to “just take a look” at Liza. Bugrov welcomed him with open arms and made him stay indefinitely. He has been living with Bugrov ever since.
This year I happened to be passing through Groholyovka, Bugrov’s estate. I found the master and the mistress of the house having supper. . . . Ivan Petrovitch was highly delighted to see me, and fell to pressing good things upon me. . . . He had grown rather stout, and his face was a trifle puffy, though it was still rosy and looked sleek and well-nourished. . . . He was not bald. Liza, too, had grown fatter. Plumpness did not suit her. Her face was beginning to lose the kittenish look, and was, alas! more suggestive of the seal. Her cheeks were spreading upwards, outwards, and to both sides. The Bugrovs were living in first-rate style. They had plenty of everything. The house was overflowing with servants and edibles. . . .
This year, I happened to pass through Groholyovka, Bugrov’s estate. I found the master and mistress of the house having dinner. Ivan Petrovitch was really happy to see me and kept offering me delicious food. He had gotten a bit heavier, and his face was slightly puffy, but it was still rosy and looked healthy and well-fed. He wasn’t bald. Liza had also gained some weight. The extra pounds didn’t suit her. Her face was starting to lose its cute look and was, unfortunately, becoming more like a seal’s. Her cheeks were spreading upwards, outwards, and to both sides. The Bugrovs were living in great style. They had more than enough of everything. The house was full of servants and food.
When we had finished supper we got into conversation. Forgetting that Liza did not play, I asked her to play us something on the piano.
When we finished dinner, we started chatting. Forgetting that Liza didn't play, I asked her to play something for us on the piano.
“She does not play,” said Bugrov; “she is no musician. . . . Hey, you there! Ivan! call Grigory Vassilyevitch here! What’s he doing there?” And turning to me, Bugrov added, “Our musician will come directly; he plays the guitar. We keep the piano for Mishutka—we are having him taught. . . .”
“She doesn’t play,” said Bugrov; “she’s not a musician. . . . Hey, you there! Ivan! Bring Grigory Vassilyevitch here! What’s he doing over there?” And turning to me, Bugrov added, “Our musician will be here soon; he plays the guitar. We’re saving the piano for Mishutka—we’re having him taught. . . .”
Five minutes later, Groholsky walked into the room—sleepy, unkempt, and unshaven. . . . He walked in, bowed to me, and sat down on one side.
Five minutes later, Groholsky walked into the room—sleepy, messy, and unshaven. He walked in, nodded to me, and sat down on one side.
“Why, whoever goes to bed so early?” said Bugrov, addressing him. “What a fellow you are really! He’s always asleep, always asleep . . . The sleepy head! Come, play us something lively. . . .”
“Why, who goes to bed so early?” Bugrov said to him. “What a guy you are! Always sleeping, always sleeping . . . The sleepyhead! Come on, play us something fun. . . .”
Groholsky turned the guitar, touched the strings, and began singing:
Groholsky flipped the guitar around, strummed the strings, and started singing:
“Yesterday I waited for my dear one. . . .”
“Yesterday I waited for my loved one...”
I listened to the singing, looked at Bugrov’s well-fed countenance, and thought: “Nasty brute!” I felt like crying. . . . When he had finished singing, Groholsky bowed to us, and went out.
I listened to the singing, looked at Bugrov’s plump face, and thought: “What a horrible guy!” I felt like crying. . . . When he finished singing, Groholsky bowed to us and left.
“And what am I to do with him?” Bugrov said when he had gone away. “I do have trouble with him! In the day he is always brooding and brooding. . . . And at night he moans. . . . He sleeps, but he sighs and moans in his sleep. . . . It is a sort of illness. . . . What am I to do with him, I can’t think! He won’t let us sleep. . . . I am afraid that he will go out of his mind. People think he is badly treated here. . . . In what way is he badly treated? He eats with us, and he drinks with us. . . . Only we won’t give him money. If we were to give him any he would spend it on drink or waste it . . . . That’s another trouble for me! Lord forgive me, a sinner!”
“And what am I supposed to do with him?” Bugrov said after he had left. “He’s really a handful! During the day, he just sits there brooding and brooding... And at night, he moans... He sleeps, but he sighs and moans in his sleep... It’s like a sort of illness... I can't figure out what to do with him! He won't let us sleep... I'm worried he'll lose his mind. People think he’s being mistreated here... But how is he mistreated? He eats with us and drinks with us... We just won't give him any money. If we did, he'd spend it on booze or waste it... That’s yet another problem for me! Lord forgive me, a sinner!”
They made me stay the night. When I woke next morning, Bugrov was giving some one a lecture in the adjoining room. . . .
They made me stay the night. When I woke up the next morning, Bugrov was giving someone a lecture in the next room. . . .
“Set a fool to say his prayers, and he will crack his skull on the floor! Why, who paints oars green! Do think, blockhead! Use your sense! Why don’t you speak?”
“Let a fool say his prayers, and he’ll end up hitting his head on the floor! Seriously, who paints oars green? Think, you idiot! Use your brain! Why aren’t you talking?”
“I . . . I . . . made a mistake,” said a husky tenor apologetically.
“I... I... made a mistake,” said a raspy tenor apologetically.
The tenor belonged to Groholsky.
The tenor belonged to Groholsky.
Groholsky saw me to the station.
Groholsky took me to the station.
“He is a despot, a tyrant,” he kept whispering to me all the way. “He is a generous man, but a tyrant! Neither heart nor brain are developed in him. . . . He tortures me! If it were not for that noble woman, I should have gone away long ago. I am sorry to leave her. It’s somehow easier to endure together.”
“He's a dictator, a tyrant,” he kept whispering to me the whole time. “He's a generous guy, but a tyrant! He has no heart or brain developed in him... He tortures me! If it weren't for that amazing woman, I would have left a long time ago. I’m sad to leave her. It's somehow easier to go through this together.”
Groholsky heaved a sigh, and went on:
Groholsky sighed and went on:
“She is with child. . . . You notice it? It is really my child. . . . Mine. . . . She soon saw her mistake, and gave herself to me again. She cannot endure him. . . .”
“She’s pregnant. . . . Did you notice? It’s really my baby. . . . Mine. . . . She quickly realized her mistake and returned to me. She can’t stand him. . . .”
“You are a rag,” I could not refrain from saying to Groholsky.
“You're a mess,” I couldn’t help but say to Groholsky.
“Yes, I am a man of weak character. . . . That is quite true. I was born so. Do you know how I came into the world? My late papa cruelly oppressed a certain little clerk—it was awful how he treated him! He poisoned his life. Well . . . and my late mama was tender-hearted. She came from the people, she was of the working class. . . . She took that little clerk to her heart from pity. . . . Well . . . and so I came into the world. . . . The son of the ill-treated clerk. How could I have a strong will? Where was I to get it from? But that’s the second bell. . . . Good-bye. Come and see us again, but don’t tell Ivan Petrovitch what I have said about him.”
“Yes, I’m a man of weak character. . . . That’s true. I was born this way. Do you know how I came into this world? My late father treated a certain little clerk horribly—it was terrible how he was treated! He ruined that man’s life. Well . . . and my late mother was very kind-hearted. She came from a working-class background. . . . She took that little clerk to her heart out of pity. . . . So that’s how I came into this world. . . . The son of the mistreated clerk. How could I possibly have a strong will? Where would I get it from? But that’s the second bell. . . . Goodbye. Come visit us again, but don’t tell Ivan Petrovitch what I’ve said about him.”
I pressed Groholsky’s hand, and got into the train. He bowed towards the carriage, and went to the water-barrel—I suppose he was thirsty!
I shook Groholsky’s hand and got on the train. He nodded toward the carriage and went to the water tank—I guess he was thirsty!
THE DOCTOR
IT was still in the drawing-room, so still that a house-fly that had flown in from outside could be distinctly heard brushing against the ceiling. Olga Ivanovna, the lady of the villa, was standing by the window, looking out at the flower-beds and thinking. Dr. Tsvyetkov, who was her doctor as well as an old friend, and had been sent for to treat her son Misha, was sitting in an easy chair and swinging his hat, which he held in both hands, and he too was thinking. Except them, there was not a soul in the drawing-room or in the adjoining rooms. The sun had set, and the shades of evening began settling in the corners under the furniture and on the cornices.
It was quiet in the living room, so quiet that you could hear a housefly that had come in from outside buzzing against the ceiling. Olga Ivanovna, the lady of the villa, stood by the window, looking out at the flowerbeds and lost in thought. Dr. Tsvyetkov, her doctor and an old friend who had been called to treat her son Misha, sat in a comfy chair, swinging his hat, which he held with both hands, also deep in thought. Aside from them, there was no one else in the living room or the nearby rooms. The sun had set, and evening shadows were beginning to creep into the corners under the furniture and along the edges.
The silence was broken by Olga Ivanovna.
The silence was interrupted by Olga Ivanovna.
“No misfortune more terrible can be imagined,” she said, without turning from the window. “You know that life has no value for me whatever apart from the boy.”
“No misfortune could be worse,” she said, without looking away from the window. “You know that life means nothing to me at all without the boy.”
“Yes, I know that,” said the doctor.
“Yes, I know that,” said the doctor.
“No value whatever,” said Olga Ivanovna, and her voice quivered. “He is everything to me. He is my joy, my happiness, my wealth. And if, as you say, I cease to be a mother, if he . . . dies, there will be nothing left of me but a shadow. I cannot survive it.”
“No value at all,” said Olga Ivanovna, her voice shaking. “He means everything to me. He is my joy, my happiness, my wealth. And if, as you say, I stop being a mother, if he... dies, there will be nothing left of me but a shadow. I can’t survive that.”
Wringing her hands, Olga Ivanovna walked from one window to the other and went on:
Wringing her hands, Olga Ivanovna paced between the windows and continued:
“When he was born, I wanted to send him away to the Foundling Hospital, you remember that, but, my God, how can that time be compared with now? Then I was vulgar, stupid, feather-headed, but now I am a mother, do you understand? I am a mother, and that’s all I care to know. Between the present and the past there is an impassable gulf.”
“When he was born, I wanted to send him to the Foundling Hospital, you remember that, but, oh my God, how can I compare that time to now? Back then I was shallow, foolish, clueless, but now I’m a mother, do you get it? I am a mother, and that’s all that matters to me. There’s an unbridgeable gap between the present and the past.”
Silence followed again. The doctor shifted his seat from the chair to the sofa and impatiently playing with his hat, kept his eyes fixed upon Olga Ivanovna. From his face it could be seen that he wanted to speak, and was waiting for a fitting moment.
Silence fell once more. The doctor moved from the chair to the sofa and, impatiently fiddling with his hat, kept his gaze on Olga Ivanovna. His expression showed that he wanted to say something and was waiting for the right moment.
“You are silent, but still I do not give up hope,” said the lady, turning round. “Why are you silent?”
“You're quiet, but I still won’t lose hope,” said the lady, turning around. “Why are you quiet?”
“I should be as glad of any hope as you, Olga, but there is none,” Tsvyetkov answered, “we must look the hideous truth in the face. The boy has a tumour on the brain, and we must try to prepare ourselves for his death, for such cases never recover.”
“I should be just as hopeful as you, Olga, but there isn’t any,” Tsvyetkov replied. “We have to confront the awful truth. The boy has a brain tumor, and we need to brace ourselves for his death because cases like this never recover.”
“Nikolay, are you certain you are not mistaken?”
“Nikolay, are you sure you’re not mistaken?”
“Such questions lead to nothing. I am ready to answer as many as you like, but it will make it no better for us.”
“Those questions don’t lead anywhere. I’m willing to answer as many as you want, but it won’t improve our situation.”
Olga Ivanovna pressed her face into the window curtains, and began weeping bitterly. The doctor got up and walked several times up and down the drawing-room, then went to the weeping woman, and lightly touched her arm. Judging from his uncertain movements, from the expression of his gloomy face, which looked dark in the dusk of the evening, he wanted to say something.
Olga Ivanovna pressed her face into the window curtains and started crying hard. The doctor stood up and paced back and forth in the drawing-room a few times, then approached the crying woman and gently touched her arm. From his hesitant movements and the look on his serious face, which seemed even darker in the evening shadows, it was clear he wanted to say something.
“Listen, Olga,” he began. “Spare me a minute’s attention; there is something I must ask you. You can’t attend to me now, though. I’ll come later, afterwards. . . .” He sat down again, and sank into thought. The bitter, imploring weeping, like the weeping of a little girl, continued. Without waiting for it to end, Tsvyetkov heaved a sigh and walked out of the drawing-room. He went into the nursery to Misha. The boy was lying on his back as before, staring at one point as though he were listening. The doctor sat down on his bed and felt his pulse.
“Listen, Olga,” he started. “Give me a minute; I need to ask you something. You can’t talk to me right now, though. I’ll come back later... ” He sat down again and got lost in thought. The bitter, desperate crying, like that of a little girl, went on. Without waiting for it to stop, Tsvyetkov sighed and left the drawing room. He went into the nursery to Misha. The boy was lying on his back as before, staring at one spot as if he were listening. The doctor sat on his bed and checked his pulse.
“Misha, does your head ache?” he asked.
“Misha, is your head hurting?” he asked.
Misha answered, not at once: “Yes. I keep dreaming.”
Misha replied after a moment, "Yeah. I keep dreaming."
“What do you dream?”
“What do you wish for?”
“All sorts of things. . . .”
“All kinds of things. . . .”
The doctor, who did not know how to talk with weeping women or with children, stroked his burning head, and muttered:
The doctor, who didn't know how to talk to crying women or children, rubbed his aching head and mumbled:
“Never mind, poor boy, never mind. . . . One can’t go through life without illness. . . . Misha, who am I—do you know me?”
“It's okay, poor boy, it's okay. . . . You can’t go through life without getting sick. . . . Misha, who am I—do you know me?”
Misha did not answer.
Misha didn't respond.
“Does your head ache very badly?”
“Does your head hurt really badly?”
“Ve-ery. I keep dreaming.”
"Very. I keep dreaming."
After examining him and putting a few questions to the maid who was looking after the sick child, the doctor went slowly back to the drawing-room. There it was by now dark, and Olga Ivanovna, standing by the window, looked like a silhouette.
After checking on him and asking a few questions to the maid who was caring for the sick child, the doctor slowly made his way back to the living room. It was dark by now, and Olga Ivanovna, standing by the window, appeared as a silhouette.
“Shall I light up?” asked Tsvyetkov.
“Should I light it up?” asked Tsvyetkov.
No answer followed. The house-fly was still brushing against the ceiling. Not a sound floated in from outside as though the whole world, like the doctor, were thinking, and could not bring itself to speak. Olga Ivanovna was not weeping now, but as before, staring at the flower-bed in profound silence. When Tsvyetkov went up to her, and through the twilight glanced at her pale face, exhausted with grief, her expression was such as he had seen before during her attacks of acute, stupefying, sick headache.
No answer came. The housefly continued to buzz against the ceiling. Not a sound could be heard from outside, as if the whole world, like the doctor, was lost in thought and unable to speak. Olga Ivanovna wasn't crying now, but she was still staring at the flowerbed in deep silence. When Tsvyetkov approached her and glanced at her pale face, worn out from grief, her expression resembled what he had seen before during her episodes of severe, debilitating headaches.
“Nikolay Trofimitch!” she addressed him, “and what do you think about a consultation?”
“Nikolay Trofimitch!” she called out to him, “what do you think about having a consultation?”
“Very good; I’ll arrange it to-morrow.”
“Sounds good; I’ll take care of it tomorrow.”
From the doctor’s tone it could be easily seen that he put little faith in the benefit of a consultation. Olga Ivanovna would have asked him something else, but her sobs prevented her. Again she pressed her face into the window curtain. At that moment, the strains of a band playing at the club floated in distinctly. They could hear not only the wind instruments, but even the violins and the flutes.
From the doctor's tone, it was clear that he had little faith in the value of a consultation. Olga Ivanovna would have asked him something else, but her sobs held her back. Once more, she buried her face in the window curtain. At that moment, the sounds of a band playing at the club came through distinctly. They could hear not only the wind instruments but even the violins and flutes.
“If he is in pain, why is he silent?” asked Olga Ivanovna. “All day long, not a sound, he never complains, and never cries. I know God will take the poor boy from us because we have not known how to prize him. Such a treasure!”
“If he’s in pain, why isn’t he saying anything?” asked Olga Ivanovna. “All day long, not a sound, he never complains, and never cries. I know God will take the poor boy from us because we haven’t known how to appreciate him. Such a treasure!”
The band finished the march, and a minute later began playing a lively waltz for the opening of the ball.
The band finished the march, and a minute later started playing a lively waltz for the opening of the ball.
“Good God, can nothing really be done?” moaned Olga Ivanovna. “Nikolay, you are a doctor and ought to know what to do! You must understand that I can’t bear the loss of him! I can’t survive it.”
“Good God, can’t anything be done?” moaned Olga Ivanovna. “Nikolay, you’re a doctor and should know what to do! You have to understand that I can’t handle losing him! I can’t survive this.”
The doctor, who did not know how to talk to weeping women, heaved a sigh, and paced slowly about the drawing-room. There followed a succession of oppressive pauses interspersed with weeping and the questions which lead to nothing. The band had already played a quadrille, a polka, and another quadrille. It got quite dark. In the adjoining room, the maid lighted the lamp; and all the while the doctor kept his hat in his hands, and seemed trying to say something. Several times Olga Ivanovna went off to her son, sat by him for half an hour, and came back again into the drawing-room; she was continually breaking into tears and lamentations. The time dragged agonisingly, and it seemed as though the evening had no end.
The doctor, who wasn’t great at comforting crying women, let out a sigh and slowly walked around the living room. There were a series of heavy pauses filled with sobbing and pointless questions. The band had already played a quadrille, a polka, and another quadrille. It was getting really dark. In the next room, the maid turned on the lamp, and all the while, the doctor held his hat in his hands, looking like he wanted to say something. A few times, Olga Ivanovna went to her son, sat with him for half an hour, and then returned to the living room; she kept breaking down in tears and mourning. Time dragged on painfully, and it felt like the evening would never end.
At midnight, when the band had played the cotillion and ceased altogether, the doctor got ready to go.
At midnight, after the band finished playing the cotillion and stopped completely, the doctor prepared to leave.
“I will come again to-morrow,” he said, pressing the mother’s cold hand. “You go to bed.”
“I'll come back tomorrow,” he said, holding the mother’s cold hand. “You should go to bed.”
After putting on his greatcoat in the passage and picking up his walking-stick, he stopped, thought a minute, and went back into the drawing-room.
After putting on his coat in the hallway and grabbing his walking stick, he paused, thought for a moment, and went back into the living room.
“I’ll come to-morrow, Olga,” he repeated in a quivering voice. “Do you hear?”
“I’ll come tomorrow, Olga,” he repeated in a trembling voice. “Do you hear?”
She did not answer, and it seemed as though grief had robbed her of all power of speech. In his greatcoat and with his stick still in his hand, the doctor sat down beside her, and began in a soft, tender half-whisper, which was utterly out of keeping with his heavy, dignified figure:
She didn’t reply, and it looked like grief had taken away her ability to speak. In his overcoat and with his cane still in his hand, the doctor sat down next to her and started to speak in a soft, gentle half-whisper that totally contrasted with his large, imposing presence:
“Olga! For the sake of your sorrow which I share. . . . Now, when falsehood is criminal, I beseech you to tell me the truth. You have always declared that the boy is my son. Is that the truth?”
“Olga! Because I feel your pain... Now, when dishonesty is serious, I urge you to be honest with me. You've always said that the boy is my son. Is that true?”
Olga Ivanovna was silent.
Olga Ivanovna didn't say anything.
“You have been the one attachment in my life,” the doctor went on, “and you cannot imagine how deeply my feeling is wounded by falsehood . . . . Come, I entreat you, Olga, for once in your life, tell me the truth. . . . At these moments one cannot lie. Tell me that Misha is not my son. I am waiting.”
“You’ve been the only person I’ve really connected with in my life,” the doctor continued, “and you can’t imagine how hurt I feel by these lies . . . . Please, I’m begging you, Olga, for once in your life, tell me the truth. . . . In moments like this, you can’t lie. Tell me that Misha isn’t my son. I’m waiting.”
“He is.”
"Yep, he is."
Olga Ivanovna’s face could not be seen, but in her voice the doctor could hear hesitation. He sighed.
Olga Ivanovna’s face was hidden, but the doctor could sense hesitation in her voice. He sighed.
“Even at such moments you can bring yourself to tell a lie,” he said in his ordinary voice. “There is nothing sacred to you! Do listen, do understand me. . . . You have been the one only attachment in my life. Yes, you were depraved, vulgar, but I have loved no one else but you in my life. That trivial love, now that I am growing old, is the one solitary bright spot in my memories. Why do you darken it with deception? What is it for?”
“Even in moments like this, you can still manage to lie,” he said in his usual tone. “There’s nothing sacred to you! Please, listen and understand me. . . . You’ve been my only real connection in life. Yes, you were corrupt and crude, but you’re the only one I’ve loved. That trivial love, as I’m getting older, is the one shining moment in my memories. Why do you tarnish it with lies? What’s the point?”
“I don’t understand you.”
"I don’t get you."
“Oh my God!” cried Tsvyetkov. “You are lying, you understand very well!” he cried more loudly, and he began pacing about the drawing-room, angrily waving his stick. “Or have you forgotten? Then I will remind you! A father’s rights to the boy are equally shared with me by Petrov and Kurovsky the lawyer, who still make you an allowance for their son’s education, just as I do! Yes, indeed! I know all that quite well! I forgive your lying in the past, what does it matter? But now when you have grown older, at this moment when the boy is dying, your lying stifles me! How sorry I am that I cannot speak, how sorry I am!”
“Oh my God!” Tsvyetkov yelled. “You’re lying, and you know it!” he shouted even louder, pacing around the living room and angrily waving his cane. “Or have you forgotten? Let me remind you! A father’s rights to the boy are equally held with me by Petrov and lawyer Kurovsky, who still provide you with money for their son’s education, just like I do! Yes, indeed! I know all that very well! I can overlook your past lies; what does it even matter? But now, as you’ve grown older, at this very moment when the boy is dying, your lying suffocates me! I'm so sorry I can't speak, I’m so sorry!”
The doctor unbuttoned his overcoat, and still pacing about, said:
The doctor unbuttoned his coat and continued pacing as he said:
“Wretched woman! Even such moments have no effect on her! Even now she lies as freely as nine years ago in the Hermitage Restaurant! She is afraid if she tells me the truth I shall leave off giving her money, she thinks that if she did not lie I should not love the boy! You are lying! It’s contemptible!”
“Wretched woman! Even moments like these don't affect her! Even now, she lies just as easily as she did nine years ago in the Hermitage Restaurant! She’s afraid that if she tells me the truth, I’ll stop giving her money; she thinks that if she didn't lie, I wouldn't love the boy! You’re lying! It’s despicable!”
The doctor rapped the floor with his stick, and cried:
The doctor tapped the floor with his cane and shouted:
“It’s loathsome. Warped, corrupted creature! I must despise you, and I ought to be ashamed of my feeling. Yes! Your lying has stuck in my throat these nine years, I have endured it, but now it’s too much—too much.”
“It’s disgusting. Twisted, messed up creature! I have to hate you, and I should be ashamed of how I feel. Yes! Your lies have been stuck in my throat for these nine years; I’ve put up with it, but now it’s too much—way too much.”
From the dark corner where Olga Ivanovna was sitting there came the sound of weeping. The doctor ceased speaking and cleared his throat. A silence followed. The doctor slowly buttoned up his over-coat, and began looking for his hat which he had dropped as he walked about.
From the dark corner where Olga Ivanovna was sitting, there was the sound of crying. The doctor stopped talking and cleared his throat. A silence followed. The doctor slowly buttoned up his overcoat and started looking for his hat, which he had dropped while walking around.
“I lost my temper,” he muttered, bending down to the floor. “I quite lost sight of the fact that you cannot attend to me now. . . . God knows what I have said. . . . Don’t take any notice of it, Olga.”
“I lost my temper,” he muttered, bending down to the floor. “I totally lost track of the fact that you can't pay attention to me right now. . . . God knows what I've said. . . . Don’t worry about it, Olga.”
He found his hat and went towards the dark corner.
He found his hat and walked over to the dark corner.
“I have wounded you,” he said in a soft, tender half-whisper, “but once more I entreat you, tell me the truth; there should not be lying between us. . . . I blurted it out, and now you know that Petrov and Kurovsky are no secret to me. So now it is easy for you to tell me the truth.”
“I've hurt you,” he said softly, almost whispering, “but once again I ask you, please tell me the truth; there shouldn't be any lies between us. . . . I let it slip, and now you know that Petrov and Kurovsky aren't a secret to me. So now it's easy for you to be honest with me.”
Olga Ivanovna thought a moment, and with perceptible hesitation, said:
Olga Ivanovna paused for a moment and, with clear hesitation, said:
“Nikolay, I am not lying—Misha is your child.”
“Nikolay, I’m not lying—Misha is your kid.”
“My God,” moaned the doctor, “then I will tell you something more: I have kept your letter to Petrov in which you call him Misha’s father! Olga, I know the truth, but I want to hear it from you! Do you hear?”
“My God,” the doctor groaned, “then let me tell you something else: I have kept your letter to Petrov where you refer to him as Misha’s father! Olga, I know the truth, but I need to hear it from you! Do you understand?”
Olga Ivanovna made no reply, but went on weeping. After waiting for an answer the doctor shrugged his shoulders and went out.
Olga Ivanovna didn't respond but kept crying. After waiting for a reply, the doctor shrugged and left.
“I will come to-morrow,” he called from the passage.
“I'll come tomorrow,” he called from the hallway.
All the way home, as he sat in his carriage, he was shrugging his shoulders and muttering:
All the way home, as he sat in his carriage, he kept shrugging his shoulders and muttering:
“What a pity that I don’t know how to speak! I haven’t the gift of persuading and convincing. It’s evident she does not understand me since she lies! It’s evident! How can I make her see? How?”
“What a shame that I can’t communicate! I lack the ability to persuade and convince. It’s clear she doesn’t understand me since she’s lying! It’s obvious! How can I make her realize? How?”
TOO EARLY!
THE bells are ringing for service in the village of Shalmovo. The sun is already kissing the earth on the horizon; it has turned crimson and will soon disappear. In Semyon’s pothouse, which has lately changed its name and become a restaurant—a title quite out of keeping with the wretched little hut with its thatch torn off its roof, and its couple of dingy windows—two peasant sportsmen are sitting. One of them is called Filimon Slyunka; he is an old man of sixty, formerly a house-serf, belonging to the Counts Zavalin, by trade a carpenter. He has at one time been employed in a nail factory, has been turned off for drunkenness and idleness, and now lives upon his old wife, who begs for alms. He is thin and weak, with a mangy-looking little beard, speaks with a hissing sound, and after every word twitches the right side of his face and jerkily shrugs his right shoulder. The other, Ignat Ryabov, a sturdy, broad-shouldered peasant who never does anything and is everlastingly silent, is sitting in the corner under a big string of bread rings. The door, opening inwards, throws a thick shadow upon him, so that Slyunka and Semyon the publican can see nothing but his patched knees, his long fleshy nose, and a big tuft of hair which has escaped from the thick uncombed tangle covering his head. Semyon, a sickly little man, with a pale face and a long sinewy neck, stands behind his counter, looks mournfully at the string of bread rings, and coughs meekly.
THE bells are ringing for service in the village of Shalmovo. The sun is already touching the earth on the horizon; it has turned red and will soon vanish. In Semyon’s bar, which has recently renamed itself a restaurant—a name that doesn't quite fit the shabby little shack with its thatch peeling off the roof and its couple of dirty windows—two local sportsmen are sitting. One of them is named Filimon Slyunka; he’s an old man of sixty, formerly a house-serf for the Counts Zavalin, and he works as a carpenter. He used to work in a nail factory but got fired for drinking and laziness, and now he relies on his elderly wife who begs for money. He’s thin and frail, with a scruffy little beard, speaks with a hissing sound, and twitches the right side of his face and jerks his right shoulder after every word. The other, Ignat Ryabov, is a solid, broad-shouldered peasant who never does anything and remains perpetually quiet, sitting in the corner under a large string of bread rings. The door, opening inward, casts a thick shadow over him, so that Slyunka and Semyon the bar owner can only see his patched knees, his long fleshy nose, and a big tuft of hair that’s escaped from the thick uncombed mess on his head. Semyon, a frail little man with a pale face and a long skinny neck, stands behind his counter, looking sadly at the string of bread rings and coughing softly.
“You think it over now, if you have any sense,” Slyunka says to him, twitching his cheek. “You have the thing lying by unused and get no sort of benefit from it. While we need it. A sportsman without a gun is like a sacristan without a voice. You ought to understand that, but I see you don’t understand it, so you can have no real sense. . . . Hand it over!”
“You should think about it now, if you have any common sense,” Slyunka says to him, twitching his cheek. “You have this thing sitting around unused and getting no benefit from it. Meanwhile, we need it. A sportsman without a gun is like a sacristan without a voice. You should get that, but clearly, you don’t, which means you have no real sense... Hand it over!”
“You left the gun in pledge, you know!” says Semyon in a thin womanish little voice, sighing deeply, and not taking his eyes off the string of bread rings. “Hand over the rouble you borrowed, and then take your gun.”
“You left the gun as collateral, you know!” says Semyon in a high-pitched, almost delicate voice, sighing deeply and not taking his eyes off the string of bread rings. “Pay back the ruble you borrowed, and then you can have your gun.”
“I haven’t got a rouble. I swear to you, Semyon Mitritch, as God sees me: you give me the gun and I will go to-day with Ignashka and bring it you back again. I’ll bring it back, strike me dead. May I have happiness neither in this world nor the next, if I don’t.”
“I don’t have a rouble. I swear to you, Semyon Mitritch, as God is my witness: you give me the gun and I will go today with Ignashka and bring it back to you. I’ll bring it back, I swear. May I find no happiness in this world or the next if I don’t.”
“Semyon Mitritch, do give it,” Ignat Ryabov says in his bass, and his voice betrays a passionate desire to get what he asks for.
“Semyon Mitritch, just give it,” Ignat Ryabov says in his deep voice, and his tone reveals a strong urge to get what he wants.
“But what do you want the gun for?” sighs Semyon, sadly shaking his head. “What sort of shooting is there now? It’s still winter outside, and no game at all but crows and jackdaws.”
“But what do you want the gun for?” sighs Semyon, sadly shaking his head. “What kind of shooting is there now? It’s still winter outside, and there’s no game at all except for crows and jackdaws.”
“Winter, indeed,” says Slyunka, hooing the ash out of his pipe with his finger, “it is early yet of course, but you never can tell with the snipe. The snipe’s a bird that wants watching. If you are unlucky, you may sit waiting at home, and miss his flying over, and then you must wait till autumn. . . . It is a business! The snipe is not a rook. . . . Last year he was flying the week before Easter, while the year before we had to wait till the week after Easter! Come, do us a favour, Semyon Mitritch, give us the gun. Make us pray for you for ever. As ill-luck would have it, Ignashka has pledged his gun for drink too. Ah, when you drink you feel nothing, but now . . . ah, I wish I had never looked at it, the cursed vodka! Truly it is the blood of Satan! Give it us, Semyon Mitritch!”
“Winter, indeed,” says Slyunka, clearing the ash out of his pipe with his finger, “it's still early, of course, but you never know with the snipe. The snipe is a bird you have to keep an eye on. If you're not lucky, you might sit at home waiting and miss it flying by, and then you'll have to wait until autumn... It's a hassle! The snipe isn't a rook... Last year it was flying the week before Easter, while the year before we had to wait until the week after Easter! Come on, do us a favor, Semyon Mitritch, give us the gun. Let us pray for you forever. As luck would have it, Ignashka has also pawned his gun for drinks. Ah, when you drink you feel nothing, but now... ah, I wish I had never touched that cursed vodka! It truly is the blood of Satan! Give it to us, Semyon Mitritch!”
“I won’t give it you,” says Semyon, clasping his yellow hands on his breast as though he were going to pray. “You must act fairly, Filimonushka. . . . A thing is not taken out of pawn just anyhow; you must pay the money. . . . Besides, what do you want to kill birds for? What’s the use? It’s Lent now—you are not going to eat them.”
“I won’t give it to you,” says Semyon, placing his yellow hands over his chest as if he’s about to pray. “You need to be fair, Filimonushka. . . . You can’t just take something out of pawn without paying the money. . . . Besides, why do you want to kill birds? What’s the point? It’s Lent now—you’re not going to eat them.”
Slyunka exchanges glances with Ryabov in embarrassment, sighs, and says: “We would only go stand-shooting.”
Slyunka shares an awkward glance with Ryabov, sighs, and says: “We would just go do some target shooting.”
“And what for? It’s all foolishness. You are not the sort of man to spend your time in foolishness. . . . Ignashka, to be sure, is a man of no understanding, God has afflicted him, but you, thank the Lord, are an old man. It’s time to prepare for your end. Here, you ought to go to the midnight service.”
“And what for? It’s all nonsense. You’re not the kind of person to waste your time on nonsense. . . . Ignashka, of course, is a clueless guy, God has burdened him, but you, thank the Lord, are an old man. It’s time to get ready for your end. You should go to the midnight service.”
The allusion to his age visibly stings Slyunka. He clears his throat, wrinkles up his forehead, and remains silent for a full minute.
The mention of his age clearly bothers Slyunka. He clears his throat, furrows his brow, and stays silent for a whole minute.
“I say, Semyon Mitritch,” he says hotly, getting up and twitching not only in his right cheek but all over his face. “It’s God’s truth. . . . May the Almighty strike me dead, after Easter I shall get something from Stepan Kuzmitch for an axle, and I will pay you not one rouble but two! May the Lord chastise me! Before the holy image, I tell you, only give me the gun!”
“I swear, Semyon Mitritch,” he says passionately, standing up and twitching not just in his right cheek but all over his face. “It's the truth! . . . If God is my witness, after Easter I’ll get something from Stepan Kuzmitch for an axle, and I’ll pay you not just one rouble but two! May the Lord punish me! In front of this holy image, I’m telling you, just give me the gun!”
“Gi-ive it,” Ryabov says in his growling bass; they can hear him breathing hard, and it seems that he would like to say a great deal, but cannot find the words. “Gi-ive it.”
“Give it,” Ryabov says in his deep voice; they can hear him breathing heavily, and it seems like he wants to say a lot, but can't find the words. “Give it.”
“No, brothers, and don’t ask,” sighs Semyon, shaking his head mournfully. “Don’t lead me into sin. I won’t give you the gun. It’s not the fashion for a thing to be taken out of pawn and no money paid. Besides—why this indulgence? Go your way and God bless you!”
“No, guys, and don’t even ask,” Semyon sighs, shaking his head sadly. “Don’t push me into sin. I’m not giving you the gun. It’s not common to take something out of pawn without paying. Besides—why the leniency? Just go on your way, and God bless you!”
Slyunka rubs his perspiring face with his sleeve and begins hotly swearing and entreating. He crosses himself, holds out his hands to the ikon, calls his deceased father and mother to bear witness, but Semyon sighs and meekly looks as before at the string of bread rings. In the end Ignashka Ryabov, hitherto motionless, gets up impulsively and bows down to the ground before the innkeeper, but even that has no effect on him.
Slyunka wipes the sweat from his face with his sleeve and starts angrily cursing and pleading. He crosses himself, raises his hands to the icon, and calls on his deceased parents to bear witness, but Semyon just sighs and continues to look calmly at the string of bread rings. Finally, Ignashka Ryabov, who had been sitting quietly, suddenly gets up and bows down to the ground before the innkeeper, but even that doesn't change anything.
“May you choke with my gun, you devil,” says Slyunka, with his face twitching, and his shoulders, shrugging. “May you choke, you plague, you scoundrelly soul.”
“May you choke on my gun, you devil,” Slyunka says, his face twitching and his shoulders shrugging. “May you choke, you plague, you despicable soul.”
Swearing and shaking his fists, he goes out of the tavern with Ryabov and stands still in the middle of the road.
Swearing and shaking his fists, he exits the tavern with Ryabov and stands still in the middle of the road.
“He won’t give it, the damned brute,” he says, in a weeping voice, looking into Ryabov’s face with an injured air.
“He won’t give it, the damn brute,” he says, in a weeping voice, looking into Ryabov’s face with an injured expression.
“He won’t give it,” booms Ryabov.
“He won’t give it,” Ryabov yells.
The windows of the furthest huts, the starling cote on the tavern, the tops of the poplars, and the cross on the church are all gleaming with a bright golden flame. Now they can see only half of the sun, which, as it goes to its night’s rest, is winking, shedding a crimson light, and seems laughing gleefully. Slyunka and Ryabov can see the forest lying, a dark blur, to the right of the sun, a mile and a half from the village, and tiny clouds flitting over the clear sky, and they feel that the evening will be fine and still.
The windows of the farthest huts, the starling coop on the tavern, the tops of the poplar trees, and the cross on the church are all shining with a bright golden light. Now they can see only half of the sun, which, as it settles down for the night, is winking, casting a crimson glow, and seems to be laughing joyfully. Slyunka and Ryabov can see the forest lying there, a dark shadow, to the right of the sun, a mile and a half from the village, and tiny clouds moving across the clear sky, and they can sense that the evening will be lovely and calm.
“Now is just the time,” says Slyunka, with his face twitching. “It would be nice to stand for an hour or two. He won’t give it us, the damned brute. May he . . .”
“Now is the perfect moment,” says Slyunka, his face twitching. “It would be nice to hold out for an hour or two. He won’t give it to us, the damn brute. May he . . .”
“For stand-shooting, now is the very time . . .” Ryabov articulated, as though with an effort, stammering.
“For stand-shooting, now is the perfect time . . .” Ryabov articulated, as if he were trying hard, stumbling over his words.
After standing still for a little they walk out of the village, without saying a word to each other, and look towards the dark streak of the forest. The whole sky above the forest is studded with moving black spots, the rooks flying home to roost. The snow, lying white here and there on the dark brown plough-land, is lightly flecked with gold by the sun.
After pausing for a moment, they walk out of the village without saying a word and glance toward the dark line of the forest. The sky above the forest is dotted with moving black spots, the rooks heading home to roost. The snow, scattered here and there on the dark brown plowed land, is gently touched with gold by the sunlight.
“This time last year I went stand-shooting in Zhivki,” says Slyunka, after a long silence. “I brought back three snipe.”
“This time last year I went stand-shooting in Zhivki,” Slyunka says after a long pause. “I brought back three snipe.”
Again there follows a silence. Both stand a long time and look towards the forest, and then lazily move and walk along the muddy road from the village.
Again, there's silence. They both stand for a long time, looking toward the forest, and then slowly start moving, walking along the muddy road from the village.
“It’s most likely the snipe haven’t come yet,” says Slyunka, “but may be they are here.”
“It’s probably that the snipe haven’t arrived yet,” says Slyunka, “but maybe they are here.”
“Kostka says they are not here yet.”
“Kostka says they aren't here yet.”
“Maybe they are not, who can tell; one year is not like another. But what mud!”
“Maybe they aren't, who knows; one year isn’t the same as another. But what a mess!”
“But we ought to stand.”
“But we should stand.”
“To be sure we ought—why not?”
“To be sure we should—why not?”
“We can stand and watch; it wouldn’t be amiss to go to the forest and have a look. If they are there we will tell Kostka, or maybe get a gun ourselves and come to-morrow. What a misfortune, God forgive me. It was the devil put it in my mind to take my gun to the pothouse! I am more sorry than I can tell you, Ignashka.”
“We can stand and watch; it wouldn’t hurt to go to the forest and check it out. If they’re there, we’ll tell Kostka, or maybe get a gun ourselves and come back tomorrow. What a misfortune; God forgive me. It was the devil who put it in my mind to take my gun to the tavern! I’m more sorry than I can express, Ignashka.”
Conversing thus, the sportsmen approach the forest. The sun has set and left behind it a red streak like the glow of a fire, scattered here and there with clouds; there is no catching the colours of those clouds: their edges are red, but they themselves are one minute grey, at the next lilac, at the next ashen.
Conversing like this, the athletes make their way toward the forest. The sun has set, leaving behind a red streak that looks like the glow of a fire, scattered with clouds here and there; it's impossible to pin down the colors of those clouds: their edges are red, but one minute they’re grey, the next lilac, and then ashen.
In the forest, among the thick branches of fir-trees and under the birch bushes, it is dark, and only the outermost twigs on the side of the sun, with their fat buds and shining bark, stand out clearly in the air. There is a smell of thawing snow and rotting leaves. It is still; nothing stirs. From the distance comes the subsiding caw of the rooks.
In the forest, beneath the thick branches of fir trees and among the birch bushes, it's dark, and only the outermost twigs on the sunny side, with their plump buds and shiny bark, are clearly visible in the air. There’s a smell of melting snow and decaying leaves. It's quiet; nothing is moving. In the distance, you can hear the fading caw of the rooks.
“We ought to be standing in Zhivki now,” whispers Slyunka, looking with awe at Ryabov; “there’s good stand-shooting there.”
“We should be standing in Zhivki right now,” whispers Slyunka, looking at Ryabov with awe; “the shooting is great there.”
Ryabov too looks with awe at Slyunka, with unblinking eyes and open mouth.
Ryabov also stares in awe at Slyunka, his eyes wide and mouth open.
“A lovely time,” Slyunka says in a trembling whisper. “The Lord is sending a fine spring . . . and I should think the snipe are here by now. . . . Why not? The days are warm now. . . . The cranes were flying in the morning, lots and lots of them.”
“A lovely time,” Slyunka says in a shaking whisper. “The Lord is bringing a beautiful spring . . . and I would assume the snipe are here by now. . . . Why not? The days are warm now. . . . The cranes were flying this morning, so many of them.”
Slyunka and Ryabov, splashing cautiously through the melting snow and sticking in the mud, walk two hundred paces along the edge of the forest and there halt. Their faces wear a look of alarm and expectation of something terrible and extraordinary. They stand like posts, do not speak nor stir, and their hands gradually fall into an attitude as though they were holding a gun at the cock. . . .
Slyunka and Ryabov, carefully splashing through the melting snow and getting stuck in the mud, walk two hundred steps along the edge of the forest and then stop. Their faces show a mix of fear and anticipation of something awful and extraordinary. They stand there like statues, not saying a word or moving, and their hands gradually drop into a position as if they were holding a gun at the ready. . . .
A big shadow creeps from the left and envelops the earth. The dusk of evening comes on. If one looks to the right, through the bushes and tree trunks, there can be seen crimson patches of the after-glow. It is still and damp. . . .
A big shadow creeps in from the left and covers the land. Evening is settling in. If you look to the right, through the bushes and tree trunks, you can see red patches of the afterglow. It's still and damp...
“There’s no sound of them,” whispers Slyunka, shrugging with the cold and sniffing with his chilly nose.
“There’s no sound of them,” whispers Slyunka, shrugging in the cold and sniffing with his cold nose.
But frightened by his own whisper, he holds his finger up at some one, opens his eyes wide, and purses up his lips. There is a sound of a light snapping. The sportsmen look at each other significantly, and tell each other with their eyes that it is nothing. It is the snapping of a dry twig or a bit of bark. The shadows of evening keep growing and growing, the patches of crimson gradually grow dim, and the dampness becomes unpleasant.
But scared by his own whisper, he raises a finger at someone, opens his eyes wide, and puckers his lips. There’s a sound of something snapping lightly. The hunters glance at each other knowingly, silently agreeing that it’s nothing. It’s just the snap of a dry twig or a piece of bark. The evening shadows keep deepening, the patches of crimson slowly fade, and the dampness becomes uncomfortable.
The sportsmen remain standing a long time, but they see and hear nothing. Every instant they expect to see a delicate leaf float through the air, to hear a hurried call like the husky cough of a child, and the flutter of wings.
The athletes stand still for a long time, but they see and hear nothing. Every moment, they expect to see a delicate leaf drifting through the air, hear a rushed call like a child's raspy cough, and the flapping of wings.
“No, not a sound,” Slyunka says aloud, dropping his hands and beginning to blink. “So they have not come yet.”
“No, not a sound,” Slyunka says, dropping his hands and starting to blink. “So they haven't arrived yet.”
“It’s early!”
“It’s too early!”
“You are right there.”
“You're right there.”
The sportsmen cannot see each other’s faces, it is getting rapidly dark.
The athletes can't see each other's faces; it's getting dark quickly.
“We must wait another five days,” says Slyunka, as he comes out from behind a bush with Ryabov. “It’s too early!”
“We have to wait another five days,” says Slyunka, as he steps out from behind a bush with Ryabov. “It’s too soon!”
They go homewards, and are silent all the way.
They head home and stay quiet the entire way.
THE COSSACK
MAXIM TORTCHAKOV, a farmer in southern Russia, was driving home from church with his young wife and bringing back an Easter cake which had just been blessed. The sun had not yet risen, but the east was all tinged with red and gold and had dissipated the haze which usually, in the early morning, screens the blue of the sky from the eyes. It was quiet. . . . The birds were hardly yet awake . . . . The corncrake uttered its clear note, and far away above a little tumulus, a sleepy kite floated, heavily flapping its wings, and no other living creature could be seen all over the steppe.
MAXIM TORTCHAKOV, a farmer in southern Russia, was driving home from church with his young wife, bringing back an Easter cake that had just been blessed. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but the east was already colored with red and gold, clearing away the haze that usually hides the blue sky in the early morning. It was quiet... The birds were barely awake... The corncrake made its distinct call, and far above a small hill, a sleepy kite floated, flapping its wings heavily, with no other living creatures visible across the steppe.
Tortchakov drove on and thought that there was no better nor happier holiday than the Feast of Christ’s Resurrection. He had only lately been married, and was now keeping his first Easter with his wife. Whatever he looked at, whatever he thought about, it all seemed to him bright, joyous, and happy. He thought about his farming, and thought that it was all going well, that the furnishing of his house was all the heart could desire—there was enough of everything and all of it good; he looked at his wife, and she seemed to him lovely, kind, and gentle. He was delighted by the glow in the east, and the young grass, and his squeaking chaise, and the kite. . . . And when on the way, he ran into a tavern to light his cigarette and drank a glass, he felt happier still.
Tortchakov drove on, thinking there was no better or happier holiday than Easter. He had just gotten married and was celebrating his first Easter with his wife. Everything he saw and thought about seemed bright, joyful, and full of happiness. He reflected on his farming, convinced it was going well, and that his house was furnished just as he had hoped—there was plenty of everything, and all of it was great; he looked at his wife, and she appeared lovely, kind, and gentle. He was enchanted by the glow in the east, the fresh green grass, his squeaky carriage, and the kite... And when he stopped at a tavern to light his cigarette and had a drink, he felt even happier.
“It is said, ‘Great is the day,’” he chattered. “Yes, it is great! Wait a bit, Lizaveta, the sun will begin to dance. It dances every Easter. So it rejoices too!”
“It’s said, ‘Great is the day,’” he chattered. “Yes, it is great! Just wait a minute, Lizaveta, the sun is going to start dancing. It dances every Easter. So it celebrates too!”
“It is not alive,” said his wife.
“It’s not alive,” said his wife.
“But there are people on it!” exclaimed Tortchakov, “there are really! Ivan Stepanitch told me that there are people on all the planets—on the sun, and on the moon! Truly . . . but maybe the learned men tell lies—the devil only knows! Stay, surely that’s not a horse? Yes, it is!”
“But there are people on it!” shouted Tortchakov. “There really are! Ivan Stepanitch told me there are people on all the planets—on the sun and on the moon! It’s true… but maybe the educated folks are lying—the devil knows! Wait, is that not a horse? Yes, it is!"
At the Crooked Ravine, which was just half-way on the journey home, Tortchakov and his wife saw a saddled horse standing motionless, and sniffing last year’s dry grass. On a hillock beside the roadside a red-haired Cossack was sitting doubled up, looking at his feet.
At the Crooked Ravine, which was halfway on the journey home, Tortchakov and his wife saw a saddled horse standing still, sniffing the dry grass from last year. On a little hill by the roadside, a red-haired Cossack was sitting hunched over, staring at his feet.
“Christ is risen!” Maxim shouted to him. “Wo-o-o!”
“Christ is risen!” Maxim shouted at him. “Woo-hoo!”
“Truly He is risen,” answered the Cossack, without raising his head.
“Really, He has risen,” replied the Cossack, without lifting his head.
“Where are you going?”
"Where are you headed?"
“Home on leave.”
“Home for leave.”
“Why are you sitting here, then?”
“Why are you sitting here, then?”
“Why . . . I have fallen ill . . . I haven’t the strength to go on.”
“Why ... I’m not feeling well ... I don’t have the energy to continue.”
“What is wrong?”
"What's wrong?"
“I ache all over.”
“I hurt all over.”
“H’m. What a misfortune! People are keeping holiday, and you fall sick! But you should ride on to a village or an inn, what’s the use of sitting here!”
“H’m. What a shame! Everyone is celebrating, and you get sick! But you should head to a village or an inn; what’s the point of just sitting here!”
The Cossack raised his head, and with big, exhausted eyes, scanned Maxim, his wife, and the horse.
The Cossack lifted his head and, with tired, wide eyes, looked over Maxim, his wife, and the horse.
“Have you come from church?” he asked.
“Did you just come from church?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Sure.”
“The holiday found me on the high road. It was not God’s will for me to reach home. I’d get on my horse at once and ride off, but I haven’t the strength. . . . You might, good Christians, give a wayfarer some Easter cake to break his fast!”
“The holiday found me on the main road. It wasn’t meant to be for me to get home. I would get on my horse right away and ride off, but I don’t have the strength. . . . You might, good Christians, offer a traveler some Easter cake to break his fast!”
“Easter cake?” Tortchakov repeated, “That we can, to be sure. . . . Stay, I’ll. . . .”
“Easter cake?” Tortchakov repeated, “We can definitely do that. . . . Hold on, I’ll. . . .”
Maxim fumbled quickly in his pockets, glanced at his wife, and said:
Maxim quickly searched his pockets, looked at his wife, and said:
“I haven’t a knife, nothing to cut it with. And I don’t like to break it, it would spoil the whole cake. There’s a problem! You look and see if you haven’t a knife?”
“I don’t have a knife, nothing to cut it with. And I don’t want to break it, that would ruin the whole cake. There’s a problem! Can you check to see if you have a knife?”
The Cossack got up groaning, and went to his saddle to get a knife.
The Cossack got up groaning and headed to his saddle to grab a knife.
“What an idea,” said Tortchakov’s wife angrily. “I won’t let you slice up the Easter cake! What should I look like, taking it home already cut! Ride on to the peasants in the village, and break your fast there!”
“What an idea,” Tortchakov’s wife said angrily. “I won’t let you cut the Easter cake! What will I look like, bringing it home already sliced? Just ride on to the village and break your fast there!”
The wife took the napkin with the Easter cake in it out of her husband’s hands and said:
The wife took the napkin with the Easter cake from her husband's hands and said:
“I won’t allow it! One must do things properly; it’s not a loaf, but a holy Easter cake. And it’s a sin to cut it just anyhow.”
“I won't allow it! You have to do things right; it’s not just a loaf, but a sacred Easter cake. And it’s a sin to cut it any old way.”
“Well, Cossack, don’t be angry,” laughed Tortchakov. “The wife forbids it! Good-bye. Good luck on your journey!”
“Well, Cossack, don’t get mad,” laughed Tortchakov. “My wife says I can’t! Goodbye. Safe travels!”
Maxim shook the reins, clicked to his horse, and the chaise rolled on squeaking. For some time his wife went on grumbling, and declaring that to cut the Easter cake before reaching home was a sin and not the proper thing. In the east the first rays of the rising sun shone out, cutting their way through the feathery clouds, and the song of the lark was heard in the sky. Now not one but three kites were hovering over the steppe at a respectful distance from one another. Grasshoppers began churring in the young grass.
Maxim shook the reins, clicked to his horse, and the carriage rolled on with a squeak. For a while, his wife kept complaining, saying that cutting the Easter cake before getting home was a sin and just not right. In the east, the first rays of the rising sun shone through the feathery clouds, and the song of the lark filled the sky. Now there were not one but three kites flying over the steppe, keeping a respectful distance from each other. Grasshoppers started chirping in the young grass.
When they had driven three-quarters of a mile from the Crooked Ravine, Tortchakov looked round and stared intently into the distance.
When they had driven three-quarters of a mile from the Crooked Ravine, Tortchakov looked around and gazed intently into the distance.
“I can’t see the Cossack,” he said. “Poor, dear fellow, to take it into his head to fall ill on the road. There couldn’t be a worse misfortune, to have to travel and not have the strength. . . . I shouldn’t wonder if he dies by the roadside. We didn’t give him any Easter cake, Lizaveta, and we ought to have given it. I’ll be bound he wants to break his fast too.”
“I can’t see the Cossack,” he said. “Poor guy, to decide to get sick on the road. There couldn’t be a worse misfortune than having to travel and not having the strength. . . . I wouldn’t be surprised if he dies by the roadside. We didn’t give him any Easter cake, Lizaveta, and we really should have. I bet he wants to break his fast too.”
The sun had risen, but whether it was dancing or not Tortchakov did not see. He remained silent all the way home, thinking and keeping his eyes fixed on the horse’s black tail. For some unknown reason he felt overcome by depression, and not a trace of the holiday gladness was left in his heart. When he had arrived home and said, “Christ is risen” to his workmen, he grew cheerful again and began talking, but when he had sat down to break the fast and had taken a bite from his piece of Easter cake, he looked regretfully at his wife, and said:
The sun had come up, but whether it was shining bright or not, Tortchakov didn't notice. He stayed quiet all the way home, lost in thought and staring at the horse's black tail. For some reason, he felt a wave of sadness wash over him, and not a trace of the holiday cheer remained in his heart. When he got home and greeted his workers with, “Christ is risen,” he felt uplifted again and started chatting, but once he sat down to break the fast and took a bite of his Easter cake, he looked sadly at his wife and said:
“It wasn’t right of us, Lizaveta, not to give that Cossack something to eat.”
“It wasn’t fair of us, Lizaveta, not to give that Cossack something to eat.”
“You are a queer one, upon my word,” said Lizaveta, shrugging her shoulders in surprise. “Where did you pick up such a fashion as giving away the holy Easter cake on the high road? Is it an ordinary loaf? Now that it is cut and lying on the table, let anyone eat it that likes—your Cossack too! Do you suppose I grudge it?”
“You're quite something, I must say,” Lizaveta remarked, shrugging her shoulders in surprise. “Where did you get the idea to give away the Easter cake on the road? Is it just a regular loaf? Now that it's cut and sitting on the table, anyone can eat it who wants to—your Cossack included! Do you really think I mind?”
“That’s all right, but we ought to have given the Cossack some. . . . Why, he was worse off than a beggar or an orphan. On the road, and far from home, and sick too.”
"That's fine, but we should have given the Cossack some... Why, he was worse off than a beggar or an orphan. Stuck on the road, far from home, and sick too."
Tortchakov drank half a glass of tea, and neither ate nor drank anything more. He had no appetite, the tea seemed to choke him, and he felt depressed again. After breaking their fast, his wife and he lay down to sleep. When Lizaveta woke two hours later, he was standing by the window, looking into the yard.
Tortchakov drank half a glass of tea and didn’t eat or drink anything else. He had no appetite; the tea felt like it was choking him, and he was feeling down again. After having their meal, he and his wife lay down to sleep. When Lizaveta woke up two hours later, he was standing by the window, looking out into the yard.
“Are you up already?” asked his wife.
“Are you up already?” his wife asked.
“I somehow can’t sleep. . . . Ah, Lizaveta,” he sighed. “We were unkind, you and I, to that Cossack!”
“I just can’t seem to sleep. . . . Ah, Lizaveta,” he sighed. “We were really unkind, you and I, to that Cossack!”
“Talking about that Cossack again!” yawned his wife. “You have got him on the brain.”
“Talking about that Cossack again!” his wife yawned. “You can’t stop thinking about him.”
“He has served his Tsar, shed his blood maybe, and we treated him as though he were a pig. We ought to have brought the sick man home and fed him, and we did not even give him a morsel of bread.”
“He has served his Tsar, shed his blood maybe, and we treated him as if he were a pig. We should have brought the sick man home and fed him, but we didn’t even give him a crumb of bread.”
“Catch me letting you spoil the Easter cake for nothing! And one that has been blessed too! You would have cut it on the road, and shouldn’t I have looked a fool when I got home?”
“Catch me letting you ruin the Easter cake for no reason! And one that’s been blessed too! You would have cut it in the street, and shouldn’t I have looked like a fool when I got home?”
Without saying anything to his wife, Maxim went into the kitchen, wrapped a piece of cake up in a napkin, together with half a dozen eggs, and went to the labourers in the barn.
Without saying anything to his wife, Maxim walked into the kitchen, wrapped a piece of cake in a napkin along with half a dozen eggs, and headed to the workers in the barn.
“Kuzma, put down your concertina,” he said to one of them. “Saddle the bay, or Ivantchik, and ride briskly to the Crooked Ravine. There you will see a sick Cossack with a horse, so give him this. Maybe he hasn’t ridden away yet.”
“Kuzma, put down your concertina,” he said to one of them. “Saddle the bay or Ivantchik, and ride quickly to the Crooked Ravine. There you’ll find a sick Cossack with a horse, so give him this. Maybe he hasn’t ridden off yet.”
Maxim felt cheerful again, but after waiting for Kuzma for some hours, he could bear it no longer, so he saddled a horse and went off to meet him. He met him just at the Ravine.
Maxim was feeling happy again, but after waiting for Kuzma for several hours, he couldn't take it anymore, so he saddled a horse and set off to find him. He found him right at the Ravine.
“Well, have you seen the Cossack?”
“Well, have you seen the Cossack?”
“I can’t find him anywhere, he must have ridden on.”
“I can’t find him anywhere; he must have moved on.”
“H’m . . . a queer business.”
“Hm . . . a strange situation.”
Tortchakov took the bundle from Kuzma, and galloped on farther. When he reached Shustrovo he asked the peasants:
Tortchakov grabbed the bundle from Kuzma and rode on. When he got to Shustrovo, he asked the villagers:
“Friends, have you seen a sick Cossack with a horse? Didn’t he ride by here? A red-headed fellow on a bay horse.”
“Hey friends, have you spotted a sick Cossack with a horse? Didn’t he ride past here? A red-haired guy on a brown horse.”
The peasants looked at one another, and said they had not seen the Cossack.
The peasants glanced at each other and said they hadn't seen the Cossack.
“The returning postman drove by, it’s true, but as for a Cossack or anyone else, there has been no such.”
“The returning postman drove by, it’s true, but as for a Cossack or anyone else, there hasn’t been anyone like that.”
Maxim got home at dinner time.
Maxim got home for dinner.
“I can’t get that Cossack out of my head, do what you will!” he said to his wife. “He gives me no peace. I keep thinking: what if God meant to try us, and sent some saint or angel in the form of a Cossack? It does happen, you know. It’s bad, Lizaveta; we were unkind to the man!”
“I can’t stop thinking about that Cossack, no matter what!” he told his wife. “He won’t leave me alone. I keep wondering: what if God is testing us and sent a saint or angel disguised as a Cossack? It happens, you know. It’s wrong, Lizaveta; we were unkind to him!”
“What do you keep pestering me with that Cossack for?” cried Lizaveta, losing patience at last. “You stick to it like tar!”
“What do you keep bothering me with that Cossack for?” shouted Lizaveta, finally losing her patience. “You cling to it like glue!”
“You are not kind, you know . . .” said Maxim, looking into his wife’s face.
“You're not nice, you know . . .” said Maxim, looking into his wife’s face.
And for the first time since his marriage he perceived that he wife was not kind.
And for the first time since his marriage, he realized that his wife was not kind.
“I may be unkind,” cried Lizaveta, tapping angrily with her spoon, “but I am not going to give away the holy Easter cake to every drunken man in the road.”
“I might be mean,” Lizaveta shouted, angrily tapping her spoon, “but I’m not going to give the sacred Easter cake to every drunk guy on the street.”
“The Cossack wasn’t drunk!”
“The Cossack wasn’t drunk!”
“He was drunk!”
“He's drunk!”
“Well, you are a fool then!”
"Well, you're an idiot then!"
Maxim got up from the table and began reproaching his young wife for hard-heartedness and stupidity. She, getting angry too, answered his reproaches with reproaches, burst into tears, and went away into their bedroom, declaring she would go home to her father’s. This was the first matrimonial squabble that had happened in the Tortchakov’s married life. He walked about the yard till the evening, picturing his wife’s face, and it seemed to him now spiteful and ugly. And as though to torment him the Cossack haunted his brain, and Maxim seemed to see now his sick eyes, now his unsteady walk.
Maxim got up from the table and started criticizing his young wife for being cold-hearted and foolish. She, getting angry as well, shot back with her own criticisms, broke down in tears, and went into their bedroom, stating that she was going to move back in with her father. This was the first argument they had as a married couple. He wandered around the yard until evening, imagining his wife's face, which now seemed hurtful and ugly to him. As if to torment him, the Cossack filled his mind, and Maxim found himself seeing his sickly eyes one moment and his unsteady gait the next.
“Ah, we were unkind to the man,” he muttered.
“Ah, we were harsh to the guy,” he muttered.
When it got dark, he was overcome by an insufferable depression such as he had never felt before. Feeling so dreary, and being angry with his wife, he got drunk, as he had sometimes done before he was married. In his drunkenness he used bad language and shouted to his wife that she had a spiteful, ugly face, and that next day he would send her packing to her father’s. On the morning of Easter Monday, he drank some more to sober himself, and got drunk again.
When it got dark, he was hit by an unbearable sadness like he had never experienced before. Feeling low and angry with his wife, he got drunk, just like he used to before he got married. In his drunken state, he cursed and yelled at his wife, saying she had a spiteful, ugly face, and that he would send her back to her father the next day. On Easter Monday morning, he drank some more to try and sober up, but ended up getting drunk again.
And with that his downfall began.
And with that, his downfall started.
His horses, cows, sheep, and hives disappeared one by one from the yard; Maxim was more and more often drunk, debts mounted up, he felt an aversion for his wife. Maxim put down all his misfortunes to the fact that he had an unkind wife, and above all, that God was angry with him on account of the sick Cossack.
His horses, cows, sheep, and beehives vanished one by one from the yard; Maxim was getting drunk more often, his debts piled up, and he grew increasingly distant from his wife. Maxim blamed all his misfortunes on his unkind wife and, more than anything, on the idea that God was upset with him because of the sick Cossack.
Lizaveta saw their ruin, but who was to blame for it she did not understand.
Lizaveta saw their downfall, but she couldn't figure out who was responsible for it.
ABORIGINES
BETWEEN nine and ten in the morning. Ivan Lyashkevsky, a lieutenant of Polish origin, who has at some time or other been wounded in the head, and now lives on his pension in a town in one of the southern provinces, is sitting in his lodgings at the open window talking to Franz Stepanitch Finks, the town architect, who has come in to see him for a minute. Both have thrust their heads out of the window, and are looking in the direction of the gate near which Lyashkevsky’s landlord, a plump little native with pendulous perspiring cheeks, in full, blue trousers, is sitting on a bench with his waistcoat unbuttoned. The native is plunged in deep thought, and is absent-mindedly prodding the toe of his boot with a stick.
BETWEEN nine and ten in the morning, Ivan Lyashkevsky, a lieutenant of Polish descent who has at some point been injured in the head and now lives on his pension in a town in one of the southern provinces, is sitting in his room by the open window chatting with Franz Stepanitch Finks, the town architect, who dropped by for a quick visit. Both of them have their heads poking out of the window, gazing towards the gate where Lyashkevsky’s landlord, a chubby little local with droopy, sweaty cheeks, is sitting on a bench in full blue trousers with his waistcoat unbuttoned. The landlord is deep in thought, absentmindedly poking the toe of his boot with a stick.
“Extraordinary people, I tell you,” grumbled Lyashkevsky, looking angrily at the native, “here he has sat down on the bench, and so he will sit, damn the fellow, with his hands folded till evening. They do absolutely nothing. The wastrels and loafers! It would be all right, you scoundrel, if you had money lying in the bank, or had a farm of your own where others would be working for you, but here you have not a penny to your name, you eat the bread of others, you are in debt all round, and you starve your family—devil take you! You wouldn’t believe me, Franz Stepanitch, sometimes it makes me so cross that I could jump out of the window and give the low fellow a good horse-whipping. Come, why don’t you work? What are you sitting there for?”
“Extraordinary people, I tell you,” grumbled Lyashkevsky, looking angrily at the local, “here he is sitting on the bench, and he will just sit there, damn the guy, with his hands folded until evening. They do absolutely nothing. The lazy good-for-nothings! It would be one thing if you had money in the bank or owned a farm where others worked for you, but here you have not a penny to your name, you live off others' bread, you’re in debt everywhere, and you’re starving your family—damn you! You wouldn't believe it, Franz Stepanitch, sometimes it makes me so mad that I could jump out of the window and give that lowlife a good beating. Come on, why don’t you work? What are you sitting there for?”
The native looks indifferently at Lyashkevsky, tries to say something but cannot; sloth and the sultry heat have paralysed his conversational faculties. . . . Yawning lazily, he makes the sign of the cross over his mouth, and turns his eyes up towards the sky where pigeons fly, bathing in the hot air.
The native looks at Lyashkevsky with indifference, tries to say something but can't; fatigue and the sweltering heat have left him speechless. . . . Yawning lazily, he crosses himself over his mouth and gazes up at the sky where pigeons are flying, enjoying the warm air.
“You must not be too severe in your judgments, honoured friend,” sighs Finks, mopping his big bald head with his handkerchief. “Put yourself in their place: business is slack now, there’s unemployment all round, a bad harvest, stagnation in trade.”
“You shouldn’t be too harsh in your judgments, my esteemed friend,” Finks sighs, wiping his large bald head with his handkerchief. “Try to see things from their perspective: business is slow right now, there’s unemployment everywhere, a poor harvest, and trade is stagnant.”
“Good gracious, how you talk!” cries Lyashkevsky in indignation, angrily wrapping his dressing gown round him. “Supposing he has no job and no trade, why doesn’t he work in his own home, the devil flay him! I say! Is there no work for you at home? Just look, you brute! Your steps have come to pieces, the plankway is falling into the ditch, the fence is rotten; you had better set to and mend it all, or if you don’t know how, go into the kitchen and help your wife. Your wife is running out every minute to fetch water or carry out the slops. Why shouldn’t you run instead, you rascal? And then you must remember, Franz Stepanitch, that he has six acres of garden, that he has pigsties and poultry houses, but it is all wasted and no use. The flower garden is overgrown with weeds and almost baked dry, while the boys play ball in the kitchen garden. Isn’t he a lazy brute? I assure you, though I have only the use of an acre and a half with my lodgings, you will always find radishes, and salad, and fennel, and onions, while that blackguard buys everything at the market.”
“Good grief, how can you talk like that!” Lyashkevsky exclaims in irritation, angrily wrapping his robe around himself. “So what if he doesn't have a job or a trade? Why doesn’t he work at home, for heaven's sake? I mean it! Is there no work for you at your place? Just look at this, you fool! Your walkways are falling apart, the path is crumbling into the ditch, the fence is falling apart; you should get out there and fix it all up, or if you don’t know how, go help your wife in the kitchen. Your wife is constantly running out to get water or haul out the slop. Why shouldn’t you step up instead, you scoundrel? And don’t forget, Franz Stepanitch, that he has six acres of garden, pigsties, and chicken coops, but it all just goes to waste. The flower garden is overrun with weeds and nearly dried out, while the kids play ball in the vegetable garden. Isn’t he just a lazy good-for-nothing? I promise you, even though I only have an acre and a half along with my lodging, you’ll always find radishes, salad, fennel, and onions at my place, while that jerk buys everything at the market.”
“He is a Russian, there is no doing anything with him,” said Finks with a condescending smile; “it’s in the Russian blood. . . . They are a very lazy people! If all property were given to Germans or Poles, in a year’s time you would not recognise the town.”
“He's Russian, there's nothing you can do with him,” Finks said with a condescending smile; “it’s in their blood... They’re a really lazy people! If all the property were given to Germans or Poles, in a year you wouldn’t recognize the town.”
The native in the blue trousers beckons a girl with a sieve, buys a kopeck’s worth of sunflower seeds from her and begins cracking them.
The guy in the blue pants waves over a girl with a sieve, buys a kopeck's worth of sunflower seeds from her, and starts cracking them open.
“A race of curs!” says Lyashkevsky angrily. “That’s their only occupation, they crack sunflower seeds and they talk politics! The devil take them!”
"A bunch of idiots!" Lyashkevsky says angrily. "That's all they do; they crack sunflower seeds and talk politics! To hell with them!"
Staring wrathfully at the blue trousers, Lyashkevsky is gradually roused to fury, and gets so excited that he actually foams at the mouth. He speaks with a Polish accent, rapping out each syllable venomously, till at last the little bags under his eyes swell, and he abandons the Russian “scoundrels, blackguards, and rascals,” and rolling his eyes, begins pouring out a shower of Polish oaths, coughing from his efforts. “Lazy dogs, race of curs. May the devil take them!”
Staring angrily at the blue pants, Lyashkevsky gradually gets worked up into a rage, to the point where he actually starts foaming at the mouth. He speaks with a Polish accent, spitting out each word with venom, until finally the little bags under his eyes puff up, and he drops the Russian insults of “scoundrels, blackguards, and rascals,” rolling his eyes, and starts unleashing a stream of Polish curses, coughing from the effort. “Lazy dogs, worthless breed. May the devil take them!”
The native hears this abuse distinctly, but, judging from the appearance of his crumpled little figure, it does not affect him. Apparently he has long ago grown as used to it as to the buzzing of the flies, and feels it superfluous to protest. At every visit Finks has to listen to a tirade on the subject of the lazy good-for-nothing aborigines, and every time exactly the same one.
The native hears this abuse clearly, but judging by his crumpled little frame, it doesn't seem to bother him. He’s apparently gotten so used to it, like the buzzing of flies, that he finds it pointless to complain. Every time Finks visits, he has to endure a rant about the lazy, good-for-nothing natives, and it’s always the exact same one.
“But . . . I must be going,” he says, remembering that he has no time to spare. “Good-bye!”
“But . . . I have to leave,” he says, realizing that he doesn't have any time to waste. “Bye!”
“Where are you off to?”
“Where are you going?”
“I only looked in on you for a minute. The wall of the cellar has cracked in the girls’ high school, so they asked me to go round at once to look at it. I must go.”
“I just checked in on you for a minute. The cellar wall at the girls' high school has cracked, so they asked me to go take a look at it right away. I need to go now.”
“H’m. . . . I have told Varvara to get the samovar,” says Lyashkevsky, surprised. “Stay a little, we will have some tea; then you shall go.”
“Hm… I told Varvara to get the samovar,” says Lyashkevsky, surprised. “Stay a bit, we’ll have some tea; then you can go.”
Finks obediently puts down his hat on the table and remains to drink tea. Over their tea Lyashkevsky maintains that the natives are hopelessly ruined, that there is only one thing to do, to take them all indiscriminately and send them under strict escort to hard labour.
Finks obediently places his hat on the table and continues to drink tea. While having their tea, Lyashkevsky argues that the locals are irreparably damaged, and that there’s only one option: to round them all up without discrimination and send them under strict guard to do hard labor.
“Why, upon my word,” he says, getting hot, “you may ask what does that goose sitting there live upon! He lets me lodgings in his house for seven roubles a month, and he goes to name-day parties, that’s all that he has to live on, the knave, may the devil take him! He has neither earnings nor an income. They are not merely sluggards and wastrels, they are swindlers too, they are continually borrowing money from the town bank, and what do they do with it? They plunge into some scheme such as sending bulls to Moscow, or building oil presses on a new system; but to send bulls to Moscow or to press oil you want to have a head on your shoulders, and these rascals have pumpkins on theirs! Of course all their schemes end in smoke . . . . They waste their money, get into a mess, and then snap their fingers at the bank. What can you get out of them? Their houses are mortgaged over and over again, they have no other property—it’s all been drunk and eaten up long ago. Nine-tenths of them are swindlers, the scoundrels! To borrow money and not return it is their rule. Thanks to them the town bank is going smash!”
“Honestly,” he says, getting worked up, “you might wonder what that fool sitting there lives on! He rents me a room in his house for seven roubles a month, and he just goes to name-day parties—that’s all he has to survive on, the jerk, may the devil take him! He has no job or income. They’re not just lazy and useless, they’re also con artists, constantly borrowing money from the town bank, and what do they do with it? They dive into some crazy schemes like sending bulls to Moscow or building oil presses with some new idea; but to actually send bulls to Moscow or press oil, you need to be smart, and these idiots have nothing but empty heads! Of course, all their plans go up in smoke… They waste their money, create a disaster, and then just snap their fingers at the bank. What can you expect from them? Their homes are mortgaged multiple times, they own nothing else—it’s all been drunk and eaten away ages ago. Nine out of ten of them are swindlers, those scoundrels! Borrowing money and not paying it back is their game. Thanks to them, the town bank is going to collapse!”
“I was at Yegorov’s yesterday,” Finks interrupts the Pole, anxious to change the conversation, “and only fancy, I won six roubles and a half from him at picquet.”
“I was at Yegorov’s yesterday,” Finks interrupts the Pole, eager to change the subject, “and guess what, I won six and a half roubles from him playing picquet.”
“I believe I still owe you something at picquet,” Lyashkevsky recollects, “I ought to win it back. Wouldn’t you like one game?”
“I think I still owe you something from our picquet game,” Lyashkevsky remembers, “I should try to win it back. Would you like to play one game?”
“Perhaps just one,” Finks assents. “I must make haste to the high school, you know.”
“Maybe just one,” Finks agrees. “I really need to get to the high school, you know.”
Lyashkevsky and Finks sit down at the open window and begin a game of picquet. The native in the blue trousers stretches with relish, and husks of sunflower seeds fall in showers from all over him on to the ground. At that moment from the gate opposite appears another native with a long beard, wearing a crumpled yellowish-grey cotton coat. He screws up his eyes affectionately at the blue trousers and shouts:
Lyashkevsky and Finks sit at the open window and start a game of picquet. The local guy in the blue trousers stretches out and sunflower seed shells rain down from him onto the ground. At that moment, another local guy with a long beard comes into view from the opposite gate, wearing a wrinkled yellowish-grey cotton coat. He squints affectionately at the guy in the blue trousers and shouts:
“Good-morning, Semyon Nikolaitch, I have the honour to congratulate you on the Thursday.”
“Good morning, Semyon Nikolaitch, I’m honored to congratulate you on Thursday.”
“And the same to you, Kapiton Petrovitch!”
“And the same to you, Kapiton Petrovitch!”
“Come to my seat! It’s cool here!”
“Come sit with me! It’s nice and cool here!”
The blue trousers, with much sighing and groaning and waddling from side to side like a duck, cross the street.
The blue pants, accompanied by a lot of sighing and groaning and waddling from side to side like a duck, cross the street.
“Tierce major . . .” mutters Lyashkevsky, “from the queen. . . . Five and fifteen. . . . The rascals are talking of politics. . . . Do you hear? They have begun about England. I have six hearts.”
“Major tierce . . .” mutters Lyashkevsky, “from the queen. . . . Five and fifteen. . . . Those rascals are discussing politics. . . . Do you hear? They've started talking about England. I have six hearts.”
“I have the seven spades. My point.”
“I have the seven of spades. My turn.”
“Yes, it’s yours. Do you hear? They are abusing Beaconsfield. They don’t know, the swine, that Beaconsfield has been dead for ever so long. So I have twenty-nine. . . . Your lead.”
“Yes, it’s yours. Do you hear? They’re disrespecting Beaconsfield. They don’t realize, those idiots, that Beaconsfield has been dead for ages. So I have twenty-nine. . . . Your turn.”
“Eight . . . nine . . . ten . . . . Yes, amazing people, these Russians! Eleven . . . twelve. . . . The Russian inertia is unique on the terrestrial globe.”
“Eight . . . nine . . . ten . . . Yes, incredible people, these Russians! Eleven . . . twelve . . . The Russian inertia is one of a kind on this planet.”
“Thirty . . . Thirty-one. . . . One ought to take a good whip, you know. Go out and give them Beaconsfield. I say, how their tongues are wagging! It’s easier to babble than to work. I suppose you threw away the queen of clubs and I didn’t realise it.”
“Thirty... Thirty-one... You really should grab a good whip, you know. Go out and show them Beaconsfield. I mean, look at how they're talking! It's way easier to chatter than to actually work. I guess you tossed the queen of clubs and I didn’t notice.”
“Thirteen . . . Fourteen. . . . It’s unbearably hot! One must be made of iron to sit in such heat on a seat in the full sun! Fifteen.”
“Thirteen . . . Fourteen. . . . It’s ridiculously hot! You have to be made of metal to sit in this heat on a bench in the blazing sun! Fifteen.”
The first game is followed by a second, the second by a third. . . . Finks loses, and by degrees works himself up into a gambling fever and forgets all about the cracking walls of the high school cellar. As Lyashkevsky plays he keeps looking at the aborigines. He sees them, entertaining each other with conversation, go to the open gate, cross the filthy yard and sit down on a scanty patch of shade under an aspen tree. Between twelve and one o’clock the fat cook with brown legs spreads before them something like a baby’s sheet with brown stains upon it, and gives them their dinner. They eat with wooden spoons, keep brushing away the flies, and go on talking.
The first game is followed by a second, the second by a third... Finks loses and gradually gets caught up in a gambling frenzy, completely forgetting about the cracked walls of the high school cellar. As Lyashkevsky plays, he keeps glancing at the locals. He sees them chatting with each other, walking to the open gate, crossing the dirty yard, and sitting down on a small patch of shade under an aspen tree. Between noon and one o’clock, the chubby cook with brown legs lays out something like a baby’s blanket with brown stains on it and serves them their lunch. They eat with wooden spoons, swat away the flies, and continue their conversation.
“The devil, it is beyond everything,” cries Lyashkevsky, revolted. “I am very glad I have not a gun or a revolver or I should have a shot at those cattle. I have four knaves—fourteen. . . . Your point. . . . It really gives me a twitching in my legs. I can’t see those ruffians without being upset.”
“The devil, it’s just unbelievable,” Lyashkevsky exclaims, feeling enraged. “I’m really glad I don’t have a gun or a revolver, or I would take a shot at those guys. I have four villains—fourteen...Your point...It honestly makes my legs twitch. I can’t look at those thugs without getting upset.”
“Don’t excite yourself, it is bad for you.”
“Don’t get worked up, it’s not good for you.”
“But upon my word, it is enough to try the patience of a stone!”
“But I swear, it’s enough to test the patience of a stone!”
When he has finished dinner the native in blue trousers, worn out and exhausted, staggering with laziness and repletion, crosses the street to his own house and sinks feebly on to his bench. He is struggling with drowsiness and the gnats, and is looking about him as dejectedly as though he were every minute expecting his end. His helpless air drives Lyashkevsky out of all patience. The Pole pokes his head out of the window and shouts at him, spluttering:
When he finishes dinner, the guy in blue pants, worn out and drained, stumbling from laziness and being too full, crosses the street to his house and weakly collapses onto his bench. He’s fighting off drowsiness and swatting at the gnats, looking around as if he’s dreading his end any minute. His pathetic demeanor drives Lyashkevsky completely crazy. The Pole sticks his head out the window and yells at him, sputtering:
“Been gorging? Ah, the old woman! The sweet darling. He has been stuffing himself, and now he doesn’t know what to do with his tummy! Get out of my sight, you confounded fellow! Plague take you!”
“Been gorging? Oh, that old woman! The sweet darling. He’s been stuffing himself, and now he doesn’t know what to do with his belly! Get out of my sight, you irritating guy! Curse you!”
The native looks sourly at him, and merely twiddles his fingers instead of answering. A school-boy of his acquaintance passes by him with his satchel on his back. Stopping him the native ponders a long time what to say to him, and asks:
The local gives him a sour look and just fidgets with his fingers instead of responding. A schoolboy he knows walks by with his backpack on. The native stops him, thinks for a long time about what to say, and asks:
“Well, what now?”
"What's next?"
“Nothing.”
“Nothing.”
“How, nothing?”
“Why, nothing?”
“Why, just nothing.”
“Seriously, nothing.”
“H’m. . . . And which subject is the hardest?”
“Hmm. . . . So, which subject is the toughest?”
“That’s according.” The school-boy shrugs his shoulders.
"That’s right." The schoolboy shrugs his shoulders.
“I see—er . . . What is the Latin for tree?”
“I see—uh . . . What’s the Latin word for tree?”
“Arbor.”
"Tree."
“Aha. . . . And so one has to know all that,” sighs the blue trousers. “You have to go into it all. . . . It’s hard work, hard work. . . . Is your dear Mamma well?”
“Aha. . . . So you really have to know all that,” sighs the blue trousers. “You have to get into it all. . . . It’s tough, really tough. . . . Is your dear Mom doing okay?”
“She is all right, thank you.”
"She's good, thanks."
“Ah. . . . Well, run along.”
“Ah. . . . Alright, go ahead.”
After losing two roubles Finks remembers the high school and is horrified.
After losing two rubles, Finks recalls high school and feels horrified.
“Holy Saints, why it’s three o’clock already. How I have been staying on. Good-bye, I must run. . . .”
“Wow, it’s already three o’clock. I’ve really lost track of time. I have to go now. . . .”
“Have dinner with me, and then go,” says Lyashkevsky. “You have plenty of time.”
“Have dinner with me, and then you can leave,” Lyashkevsky says. “You have plenty of time.”
Finks stays, but only on condition that dinner shall last no more than ten minutes. After dining he sits for some five minutes on the sofa and thinks of the cracked wall, then resolutely lays his head on the cushion and fills the room with a shrill whistling through his nose. While he is asleep, Lyashkevsky, who does not approve of an afternoon nap, sits at the window, stares at the dozing native, and grumbles:
Finks stays, but only if dinner lasts no more than ten minutes. After eating, he sits on the sofa for about five minutes, thinking about the cracked wall, then he lays his head on the cushion and fills the room with a loud whistling through his nose. While he sleeps, Lyashkevsky, who isn't a fan of afternoon naps, sits by the window, looks at the sleeping guy, and complains:
“Race of curs! I wonder you don’t choke with laziness. No work, no intellectual or moral interests, nothing but vegetating . . . . disgusting. Tfoo!”
“Bunch of lazy people! I’m surprised you don’t choke on your own idleness. No effort, no intellectual or moral interests, just sitting around . . . . gross. Ugh!”
At six o’clock Finks wakes up.
At six o’clock, Finks wakes up.
“It’s too late to go to the high school now,” he says, stretching. “I shall have to go to-morrow, and now. . . . How about my revenge? Let’s have one more game. . . .”
“It’s too late to go to high school now,” he says, stretching. “I’ll have to go tomorrow, and now... What about my revenge? Let’s play one more game...”
After seeing his visitor off, between nine and ten, Lyashkevsky looks after him for some time, and says:
After seeing his visitor off, between nine and ten, Lyashkevsky watches him for a while and says:
“Damn the fellow, staying here the whole day and doing absolutely nothing. . . . Simply get their salary and do no work; the devil take them! . . . The German pig. . . .”
“Damn that guy, hanging around all day and doing absolutely nothing... Just collecting their paycheck and not putting in any effort; to hell with them!... The German idiot...”
He looks out of the window, but the native is no longer there. He has gone to bed. There is no one to grumble at, and for the first time in the day he keeps his mouth shut, but ten minutes passes and he cannot restrain the depression that overpowers him, and begins to grumble, shoving the old shabby armchair:
He looks out the window, but the native is gone. He has gone to bed. There's no one to complain about, and for the first time all day, he stays quiet, but after ten minutes, he can't hold back the overwhelming sadness, and starts to grumble, pushing the old, worn-out armchair.
“You only take up room, rubbishly old thing! You ought to have been burnt long ago, but I keep forgetting to tell them to chop you up. It’s a disgrace!”
“You're just taking up space, you worthless old thing! You should have been burned a long time ago, but I keep forgetting to tell them to get rid of you. It’s such a shame!”
And as he gets into bed he presses his hand on a spring of the mattress, frowns and says peevishly:
And as he gets into bed, he presses his hand on a spring of the mattress, frowns, and says irritably:
“The con—found—ed spring! It will cut my side all night. I will tell them to rip up the mattress to-morrow and get you out, you useless thing.”
“The confused spring! It will dig into my side all night. I’ll tell them to rip up the mattress tomorrow and get you out, you useless thing.”
He falls asleep at midnight, and dreams that he is pouring boiling water over the natives, Finks, and the old armchair.
He falls asleep at midnight and dreams that he is pouring boiling water over the locals, Finks, and the old armchair.
AN INQUIRY
IT was midday. Voldyrev, a tall, thick-set country gentleman with a cropped head and prominent eyes, took off his overcoat, mopped his brow with his silk handkerchief, and somewhat diffidently went into the government office. There they were scratching away. . . .
IT was midday. Voldyrev, a tall, stocky country gentleman with a short haircut and noticeable eyes, took off his overcoat, wiped his forehead with his silk handkerchief, and a bit hesitantly walked into the government office. Inside, people were hard at work. . . .
“Where can I make an inquiry here?” he said, addressing a porter who was bringing a trayful of glasses from the furthest recesses of the office. “I have to make an inquiry here and to take a copy of a resolution of the Council.”
“Where can I ask a question around here?” he said, talking to a porter who was carrying a tray full of glasses from the back of the office. “I need to make an inquiry and get a copy of a Council resolution.”
“That way please! To that one sitting near the window!” said the porter, indicating with the tray the furthest window. Voldyrev coughed and went towards the window; there, at a green table spotted like typhus, was sitting a young man with his hair standing up in four tufts on his head, with a long pimply nose, and a long faded uniform. He was writing, thrusting his long nose into the papers. A fly was walking about near his right nostril, and he was continually stretching out his lower lip and blowing under his nose, which gave his face an extremely care-worn expression.
“That way, please! To the one by the window!” said the porter, pointing with the tray to the farthest window. Voldyrev coughed and walked toward the window; there, at a green table covered in spots, sat a young man with his hair sticking up in four tufts, a long pimply nose, and an old faded uniform. He was writing, leaning his long nose over the papers. A fly was crawling near his right nostril, and he kept stretching out his lower lip and blowing under his nose, which gave his face a very tired look.
“May I make an inquiry about my case here . . . of you? My name is Voldyrev. And, by the way, I have to take a copy of the resolution of the Council of the second of March.”
“Can I ask about my case here? My name is Voldyrev. And by the way, I need to get a copy of the resolution from the Council dated March 2nd.”
The clerk dipped his pen in the ink and looked to see if he had got too much on it. Having satisfied himself that the pen would not make a blot, he began scribbling away. His lip was thrust out, but it was no longer necessary to blow: the fly had settled on his ear.
The clerk dipped his pen in the ink and checked to make sure he hadn't gotten too much on it. Once he was sure the pen wouldn't make a mess, he started writing quickly. His lip was pushed out, but he no longer needed to blow; the fly had landed on his ear.
“Can I make an inquiry here?” Voldyrev repeated a minute later, “my name is Voldyrev, I am a landowner. . . .”
“Can I ask a question here?” Voldyrev repeated a minute later, “My name is Voldyrev, and I’m a landowner. . . .”
“Ivan Alexeitch!” the clerk shouted into the air as though he had not observed Voldyrev, “will you tell the merchant Yalikov when he comes to sign the copy of the complaint lodged with the police! I’ve told him a thousand times!”
“Ivan Alexeitch!” the clerk shouted into the air as if he hadn’t noticed Voldyrev, “can you let the merchant Yalikov know when he comes to sign the copy of the complaint filed with the police? I’ve told him a thousand times!”
“I have come in reference to my lawsuit with the heirs of Princess Gugulin,” muttered Voldyrev. “The case is well known. I earnestly beg you to attend to me.”
“I’m here about my lawsuit with the heirs of Princess Gugulin,” muttered Voldyrev. “The case is well-known. I sincerely ask you to pay attention to me.”
Still failing to observe Voldyrev, the clerk caught the fly on his lip, looked at it attentively and flung it away. The country gentleman coughed and blew his nose loudly on his checked pocket handkerchief. But this was no use either. He was still unheard. The silence lasted for two minutes. Voldyrev took a rouble note from his pocket and laid it on an open book before the clerk. The clerk wrinkled up his forehead, drew the book towards him with an anxious air and closed it.
Still unable to notice Voldyrev, the clerk caught a fly on his lip, looked at it closely, and then flicked it away. The country gentleman coughed and blew his nose loudly into his checkered pocket handkerchief. But this didn’t help at all. He was still ignored. The silence stretched on for two minutes. Voldyrev took a ruble note from his pocket and placed it on an open book in front of the clerk. The clerk furrowed his brow, pulled the book towards him anxiously, and closed it.
“A little inquiry. . . . I want only to find out on what grounds the heirs of Princess Gugulin. . . . May I trouble you?”
“A quick question... I just want to find out on what basis the heirs of Princess Gugulin... Can I ask you for your help?”
The clerk, absorbed in his own thoughts, got up and, scratching his elbow, went to a cupboard for something. Returning a minute later to his table he became absorbed in the book again: another rouble note was lying upon it.
The clerk, lost in his thoughts, stood up and, scratching his elbow, went to a cupboard for something. A minute later, he returned to his table and got lost in the book again: another rouble note lay on it.
“I will trouble you for one minute only. . . . I have only to make an inquiry.”
“I just need a minute of your time. . . . I only have a quick question.”
The clerk did not hear, he had begun copying something.
The clerk didn't hear; he had started copying something.
Voldyrev frowned and looked hopelessly at the whole scribbling brotherhood.
Voldyrev frowned and looked helplessly at the entire group of scribblers.
“They write!” he thought, sighing. “They write, the devil take them entirely!”
“They're writing!” he thought, sighing. “They're writing, damn them completely!”
He walked away from the table and stopped in the middle of the room, his hands hanging hopelessly at his sides. The porter, passing again with glasses, probably noticed the helpless expression of his face, for he went close up to him and asked him in a low voice:
He walked away from the table and stopped in the middle of the room, his hands hanging uselessly at his sides. The porter, passing by again with glasses, likely noticed the distressed look on his face, so he approached him and asked in a quiet voice:
“Well? Have you inquired?”
"Well? Have you checked?"
“I’ve inquired, but he wouldn’t speak to me.”
“I’ve asked, but he wouldn’t talk to me.”
“You give him three roubles,” whispered the porter.
“You give him three rubles,” whispered the porter.
“I’ve given him two already.”
"I’ve given him two already."
“Give him another.”
"Give him another one."
Voldyrev went back to the table and laid a green note on the open book.
Voldyrev returned to the table and placed a green bill on the open book.
The clerk drew the book towards him again and began turning over the leaves, and all at once, as though by chance, lifted his eyes to Voldyrev. His nose began to shine, turned red, and wrinkled up in a grin.
The clerk pulled the book back towards himself and started flipping through the pages. Suddenly, almost by accident, he looked up at Voldyrev. His nose started to shine, turned red, and crinkled into a grin.
“Ah . . . what do you want?” he asked.
“Ah . . . what do you need?” he asked.
“I want to make an inquiry in reference to my case. . . . My name is Voldyrev.”
“I want to ask about my case. . . . My name is Voldyrev.”
“With pleasure! The Gugulin case, isn’t it? Very good. What is it then exactly?”
“With pleasure! The Gugulin case, right? Very good. So what is it exactly?”
Voldyrev explained his business.
Voldyrev explained his business.
The clerk became as lively as though he were whirled round by a hurricane. He gave the necessary information, arranged for a copy to be made, gave the petitioner a chair, and all in one instant. He even spoke about the weather and asked after the harvest. And when Voldyrev went away he accompanied him down the stairs, smiling affably and respectfully, and looking as though he were ready any minute to fall on his face before the gentleman. Voldyrev for some reason felt uncomfortable, and in obedience to some inward impulse he took a rouble out of his pocket and gave it to the clerk. And the latter kept bowing and smiling, and took the rouble like a conjuror, so that it seemed to flash through the air.
The clerk became as energetic as if he were caught in a whirlwind. He provided the required information, arranged for a copy to be made, offered the petitioner a chair, all in an instant. He even chatted about the weather and checked on the harvest. When Voldyrev left, the clerk accompanied him down the stairs, smiling warmly and respectfully, looking as if he were ready to fall to his knees before the gentleman at any moment. For some reason, Voldyrev felt uneasy, and acting on some inner urge, he pulled a rouble from his pocket and handed it to the clerk. The clerk kept bowing and smiling, taking the rouble in a way that made it seem like a magic trick, as if it flashed through the air.
“Well, what people!” thought the country gentleman as he went out into the street, and he stopped and mopped his brow with his handkerchief.
“Well, what a crowd!” thought the country gentleman as he stepped out into the street, and he paused to wipe his brow with his handkerchief.
MARTYRS
LIZOTCHKA KUDRINSKY, a young married lady who had many admirers, was suddenly taken ill, and so seriously that her husband did not go to his office, and a telegram was sent to her mamma at Tver. This is how she told the story of her illness:
LIZOTCHKA KUDRINSKY, a young married woman with many admirers, suddenly fell seriously ill, to the point where her husband stayed home from work and a telegram was sent to her mom in Tver. This is how she recounted her illness:
“I went to Lyesnoe to auntie’s. I stayed there a week and then I went with all the rest to cousin Varya’s. Varya’s husband is a surly brute and a despot (I’d shoot a husband like that), but we had a very jolly time there. To begin with I took part in some private theatricals. It was A Scandal in a Respectable Family. Hrustalev acted marvellously! Between the acts I drank some cold, awfully cold, lemon squash, with the tiniest nip of brandy in it. Lemon squash with brandy in it is very much like champagne. . . . I drank it and I felt nothing. Next day after the performance I rode out on horseback with that Adolf Ivanitch. It was rather damp and there was a strong wind. It was most likely then that I caught cold. Three days later I came home to see how my dear, good Vassya was getting on, and while here to get my silk dress, the one that has little flowers on it. Vassya, of course, I did not find at home. I went into the kitchen to tell Praskovya to set the samovar, and there I saw on the table some pretty little carrots and turnips like playthings. I ate one little carrot and well, a turnip too. I ate very little, but only fancy, I began having a sharp pain at once—spasms . . . spasms . . . spasms . . . ah, I am dying. Vassya runs from the office. Naturally he clutches at his hair and turns white. They run for the doctor. . . . Do you understand, I am dying, dying.”
“I went to Lyesnoe to visit my aunt. I stayed there for a week and then went with everyone else to cousin Varya’s. Varya’s husband is a grumpy bully and a tyrant (I’d shoot a husband like that), but we had a great time there. To start, I took part in some private plays. It was A Scandal in a Respectable Family. Hrustalev performed amazingly! In between acts, I drank some cold, really cold, lemon squash with just a tiny splash of brandy in it. Lemon squash with brandy is a lot like champagne... I drank it and didn’t feel anything. The next day after the performance, I went horseback riding with that Adolf Ivanitch. It was pretty damp, and there was a strong wind. I probably caught a cold then. Three days later, I came home to check on how my dear, sweet Vassya was doing, and to grab my silk dress, the one with little flowers on it. Of course, Vassya wasn’t home. I went into the kitchen to tell Praskovya to set up the samovar, and there on the table, I saw some cute little carrots and turnips that looked like toys. I ate a little carrot and, well, a turnip too. I barely ate anything, but then all of a sudden, I started having sharp pain—spasms... spasms... spasms... oh, I’m dying. Vassya runs in from the office. Naturally, he grabs his hair and turns pale. They rush to get the doctor... Do you understand, I’m dying, dying.”
The spasms began at midday, before three o’clock the doctor came, and at six Lizotchka fell asleep and slept soundly till two o’clock in the morning.
The spasms started around noon, the doctor arrived before three o’clock, and by six, Lizotchka fell asleep and slept deeply until two in the morning.
It strikes two. . . . The light of the little night lamp filters scantily through the pale blue shade. Lizotchka is lying in bed, her white lace cap stands out sharply against the dark background of the red cushion. Shadows from the blue lamp-shade lie in patterns on her pale face and her round plump shoulders. Vassily Stepanovitch is sitting at her feet. The poor fellow is happy that his wife is at home at last, and at the same time he is terribly alarmed by her illness.
It strikes two. . . . The light from the small night lamp barely shines through the pale blue shade. Lizotchka is lying in bed, her white lace cap contrasting sharply with the dark background of the red cushion. Shadows from the blue lampshade create patterns on her pale face and her round, plump shoulders. Vassily Stepanovitch is sitting at her feet. The poor guy is happy that his wife is finally home, but at the same time, he's really worried about her illness.
“Well, how do you feel, Lizotchka?” he asks in a whisper, noticing that she is awake.
“Well, how do you feel, Lizotchka?” he asks quietly, noticing that she is awake.
“I am better,” moans Lizotchka. “I don’t feel the spasms now, but there is no sleeping. . . . I can’t get to sleep!”
“I’m feeling better,” Lizotchka groans. “I don’t feel the spasms anymore, but I can’t sleep... I just can’t fall asleep!”
“Isn’t it time to change the compress, my angel?”
“Isn’t it time to change the bandage, my love?”
Lizotchka sits up slowly with the expression of a martyr and gracefully turns her head on one side. Vassily Stepanovitch with reverent awe, scarcely touching her hot body with his fingers, changes the compress. Lizotchka shrinks, laughs at the cold water which tickles her, and lies down again.
Lizotchka sits up slowly with a martyr's expression and elegantly tilts her head to one side. Vassily Stepanovitch, with deep respect, barely brushes his fingers against her warm body as he changes the compress. Lizotchka flinches, giggles at the cold water that tickles her, and lies back down.
“You are getting no sleep, poor boy!” she moans.
"You aren’t getting any sleep, poor thing!" she whines.
“As though I could sleep!”
"As if I could sleep!"
“It’s my nerves, Vassya, I am a very nervous woman. The doctor has prescribed for stomach trouble, but I feel that he doesn’t understand my illness. It’s nerves and not the stomach, I swear that it is my nerves. There is only one thing I am afraid of, that my illness may take a bad turn.”
“It’s my nerves, Vassya, I am a very anxious woman. The doctor has given me something for my stomach issues, but I feel like he doesn’t grasp what’s really wrong with me. It’s not my stomach, it’s my nerves, I promise it’s just my nerves. The only thing I’m scared of is that my condition might get worse.”
“No, Lizotchka, no, to-morrow you will be all right!”
“No, Lizotchka, no, tomorrow you’ll be fine!”
“Hardly likely! I am not afraid for myself. . . . I don’t care, indeed, I shall be glad to die, but I am sorry for you! You’ll be a widower and left all alone.”
“Not a chance! I'm not scared for myself. . . . Honestly, I wouldn’t mind dying, but I feel sorry for you! You'll be a widower and all by yourself.”
Vassitchka rarely enjoys his wife’s society, and has long been used to solitude, but Lizotchka’s words agitate him.
Vassitchka rarely likes spending time with his wife and has gotten used to being alone, but Lizotchka’s words annoy him.
“Goodness knows what you are saying, little woman! Why these gloomy thoughts?”
“Who knows what you’re talking about, little lady! Why are you so down?”
“Well, you will cry and grieve, and then you will get used to it. You’ll even get married again.”
“Well, you will cry and grieve, and then you’ll get used to it. You’ll even get married again.”
The husband clutches his head.
The husband grabs his head.
“There, there, I won’t!” Lizotchka soothes him, “only you ought to be prepared for anything.”
“There, there, I won’t!” Lizotchka reassures him, “but you should be ready for anything.”
“And all of a sudden I shall die,” she thinks, shutting her eyes.
“And suddenly I’m going to die,” she thinks, closing her eyes.
And Lizotchka draws a mental picture of her own death, how her mother, her husband, her cousin Varya with her husband, her relations, the admirers of her “talent” press round her death bed, as she whispers her last farewell. All are weeping. Then when she is dead they dress her, interestingly pale and dark-haired, in a pink dress (it suits her) and lay her in a very expensive coffin on gold legs, full of flowers. There is a smell of incense, the candles splutter. Her husband never leaves the coffin, while the admirers of her talent cannot take their eyes off her, and say: “As though living! She is lovely in her coffin!” The whole town is talking of the life cut short so prematurely. But now they are carrying her to the church. The bearers are Ivan Petrovitch, Adolf Ivanitch, Varya’s husband, Nikolay Semyonitch, and the black-eyed student who had taught her to drink lemon squash with brandy. It’s only a pity there’s no music playing. After the burial service comes the leave-taking. The church is full of sobs, they bring the lid with tassels, and . . . Lizotchka is shut off from the light of day for ever, there is the sound of hammering nails. Knock, knock, knock.
And Lizotchka imagines her own death, picturing her mother, her husband, her cousin Varya and her husband, her relatives, and the fans of her “talent” gathered around her deathbed as she whispers her final goodbye. Everyone is crying. Once she passes away, they dress her, interestingly pale and dark-haired, in a pink dress (it looks good on her) and lay her in an expensive coffin with gold legs, surrounded by flowers. There's the smell of incense and the candles flicker. Her husband stays by the coffin, while her admirers can’t take their eyes off her, saying, “It’s like she’s alive! She looks beautiful in her coffin!” The whole town is talking about her life, cut short so soon. But now they’re taking her to the church. The pallbearers are Ivan Petrovitch, Adolf Ivanitch, Varya’s husband, Nikolay Semyonitch, and the dark-eyed student who had taught her to drink lemon squash with brandy. It’s just a shame there’s no music playing. After the burial service, it’s time for goodbyes. The church is filled with sobs as they bring the lid with tassels, and... Lizotchka is sealed off from the light of day forever, and there’s the sound of hammering nails. Knock, knock, knock.
Lizotchka shudders and opens her eyes.
Lizotchka shivers and opens her eyes.
“Vassya, are you here?” she asks. “I have such gloomy thoughts. Goodness, why am I so unlucky as not to sleep. Vassya, have pity, do tell me something!”
“Vassya, are you there?” she asks. “I’ve been having such dark thoughts. Oh my, why am I so unlucky that I can’t sleep? Vassya, please have mercy and tell me something!”
“What shall I tell you?”
"What should I tell you?"
“Something about love,” Lizotchka says languidly. “Or some anecdote about Jews. . . .”
“Something about love,” Lizotchka says slowly. “Or some story about Jews. . . .”
Vassily Stepanovitch, ready for anything if only his wife will be cheerful and not talk about death, combs locks of hair over his ears, makes an absurd face, and goes up to Lizotchka.
Vassily Stepanovitch, prepared for anything as long as his wife stays positive and doesn't mention death, brushes hair over his ears, makes a silly face, and approaches Lizotchka.
“Does your vatch vant mending?” he asks.
“Does your watch need fixing?” he asks.
“It does, it does,” giggles Lizotchka, and hands him her gold watch from the little table. “Mend it.”
“It does, it does,” giggles Lizotchka, and hands him her gold watch from the little table. “Fix it.”
Vassya takes the watch, examines the mechanism for a long time, and wriggling and shrugging, says: “She can not be mended . . . in vun veel two cogs are vanting. . . .”
Vassya takes the watch, looks at the mechanism for a long time, and wriggling and shrugging, says: “It can’t be fixed... two gears are missing...”
This is the whole performance. Lizotchka laughs and claps her hands.
This is the entire show. Lizotchka laughs and claps her hands.
“Capital,” she exclaims. “Wonderful. Do you know, Vassya, it’s awfully stupid of you not to take part in amateur theatricals! You have a remarkable talent! You are much better than Sysunov. There was an amateur called Sysunov who played with us in It’s My Birthday. A first-class comic talent, only fancy: a nose as thick as a parsnip, green eyes, and he walks like a crane. . . . We all roared; stay, I will show you how he walks.”
“Capital,” she exclaims. “Wonderful. Do you know, Vassya, it’s really silly of you not to take part in amateur theater! You have an amazing talent! You’re way better than Sysunov. There was this amateur named Sysunov who acted with us in It’s My Birthday. A top-notch comic talent, just imagine: a nose as thick as a parsnip, green eyes, and he walks like a crane. . . . We all laughed; wait, I’ll show you how he walks.”
Lizotchka springs out of bed and begins pacing about the floor, barefooted and without her cap.
Lizotchka jumps out of bed and starts pacing around the floor, barefoot and without her cap.
“A very good day to you!” she says in a bass, imitating a man’s voice. “Anything pretty? Anything new under the moon? Ha, ha, ha!” she laughs.
“A great day to you!” she says in a deep voice, pretending to be a man. “Anything nice? Anything new under the moon? Ha, ha, ha!” she laughs.
“Ha, ha, ha!” Vassya seconds her. And the young pair, roaring with laughter, forgetting the illness, chase one another about the room. The race ends in Vassya’s catching his wife by her nightgown and eagerly showering kisses upon her. After one particularly passionate embrace Lizotchka suddenly remembers that she is seriously ill. . . .
“Ha, ha, ha!” Vassya laughs along with her. The young couple, bursting with laughter and forgetting about the illness, chase each other around the room. The chase ends when Vassya grabs his wife by her nightgown and eagerly showers her with kisses. After one especially passionate embrace, Lizotchka suddenly remembers that she is seriously ill. . . .
“What silliness!” she says, making a serious face and covering herself with the quilt. “I suppose you have forgotten that I am ill! Clever, I must say!”
“What nonsense!” she says, making a serious face and wrapping herself in the quilt. “I guess you forgot that I’m sick! Smart move, I must say!”
“Sorry . . .” falters her husband in confusion.
“Sorry . . .” her husband stumbles in confusion.
“If my illness takes a bad turn it will be your fault. Not kind! not good!”
“If my illness gets worse, it will be your fault. Not nice! Not good!”
Lizotchka closes her eyes and is silent. Her former languor and expression of martyrdom return again, there is a sound of gentle moans. Vassya changes the compress, and glad that his wife is at home and not gadding off to her aunt’s, sits meekly at her feet. He does not sleep all night. At ten o’clock the doctor comes.
Lizotchka closes her eyes and remains quiet. Her previous weariness and look of suffering come back, accompanied by soft moans. Vassya changes the compress and, relieved that his wife is at home instead of visiting her aunt, sits patiently at her feet. He doesn’t sleep all night. At ten o’clock, the doctor arrives.
“Well, how are we feeling?” he asks as he takes her pulse. “Have you slept?”
“Well, how are we feeling?” he asks while checking her pulse. “Did you get any sleep?”
“Badly,” Lizotchka’s husband answers for her, “very badly.”
“Not well,” Lizotchka’s husband replies for her, “really not well.”
The doctor walks away to the window and stares at a passing chimney-sweep.
The doctor moves to the window and watches a chimney sweep walk by.
“Doctor, may I have coffee to-day?” asks Lizotchka.
“Doctor, can I have coffee today?” asks Lizotchka.
“You may.”
"Go for it."
“And may I get up?”
“Can I get up?”
“You might, perhaps, but . . . you had better lie in bed another day.”
“You might, but... it’s probably best if you stay in bed another day.”
“She is awfully depressed,” Vassya whispers in his ear, “such gloomy thoughts, such pessimism. I am dreadfully uneasy about her.”
“She’s really depressed,” Vassya whispers in his ear, “so many gloomy thoughts, such pessimism. I’m really worried about her.”
The doctor sits down to the little table, and rubbing his forehead, prescribes bromide of potassium for Lizotchka, then makes his bow, and promising to look in again in the evening, departs. Vassya does not go to the office, but sits all day at his wife’s feet.
The doctor sits down at the small table and, rubbing his forehead, prescribes potassium bromide for Lizotchka. Then he bows, promises to return in the evening, and leaves. Vassya skips the office and spends the whole day at his wife's feet.
At midday the admirers of her talent arrive in a crowd. They are agitated and alarmed, they bring masses of flowers and French novels. Lizotchka, in a snow-white cap and a light dressing jacket, lies in bed with an enigmatic look, as though she did not believe in her own recovery. The admirers of her talent see her husband, but readily forgive his presence: they and he are united by one calamity at that bedside!
At noon, her fans gather in a crowd. They’re restless and anxious, bringing lots of flowers and French novels. Lizotchka, wearing a white cap and a light robe, lies in bed with a mysterious expression, as if she’s doubtful about her recovery. Her admirers see her husband but easily overlook his presence: they are all connected by the same misfortune at that bedside!
At six o’clock in the evening Lizotchka falls asleep, and again sleeps till two o’clock in the morning. Vassya as before sits at her feet, struggles with drowsiness, changes her compress, plays at being a Jew, and in the morning after a second night of suffering, Liza is prinking before the looking-glass and putting on her hat.
At six o’clock in the evening, Lizotchka falls asleep and sleeps until two in the morning. Vassya, as before, sits at her feet, battles drowsiness, changes her compress, pretends to be a Jew, and by morning, after another night of suffering, Liza is getting ready in front of the mirror and putting on her hat.
“Wherever are you going, my dear?” asks Vassya, with an imploring look at her.
“Where are you going, my dear?” asks Vassya, looking at her with a pleading expression.
“What?” says Lizotchka in wonder, assuming a scared expression, “don’t you know that there is a rehearsal to-day at Marya Lvovna’s?”
“What?” Lizotchka says in disbelief, putting on a scared face. “Don’t you know there’s a rehearsal today at Marya Lvovna’s?”
After escorting her there, Vassya having nothing to do to while away his boredom, takes his portfolio and goes to the office. His head aches so violently from his sleepless nights that his left eye shuts of itself and refuses to open. . . .
After leading her there, Vassya, with nothing to do to pass the time, grabs his portfolio and heads to the office. His head hurts so much from his sleepless nights that his left eye closes on its own and won't open. . . .
“What’s the matter with you, my good sir?” his chief asks him. “What is it?”
“What’s wrong with you, my good man?” his boss asks him. “What’s going on?”
Vassya waves his hand and sits down.
Vassya waves and takes a seat.
“Don’t ask me, your Excellency,” he says with a sigh. “What I have suffered in these two days, what I have suffered! Liza has been ill!”
“Don’t ask me, your Excellency,” he says with a sigh. “What I’ve been through in these two days, what I’ve been through! Liza has been sick!”
“Good heavens,” cried his chief in alarm. “Lizaveta Pavlovna, what is wrong with her?”
“Good heavens,” his boss exclaimed in shock. “Lizaveta Pavlovna, what’s wrong with her?”
Vassily Stepanovitch merely throws up his hands and raises his eyes to the ceiling, as though he would say: “It’s the will of Providence.”
Vassily Stepanovitch just throws up his hands and looks up at the ceiling, as if to say: “It’s the will of Fate.”
“Ah, my boy, I can sympathise with you with all my heart!” sighs his chief, rolling his eyes. “I’ve lost my wife, my dear, I understand. That is a loss, it is a loss! It’s awful, awful! I hope Lizaveta Pavlovna is better now! What doctor is attending her?”
“Ah, my boy, I can truly sympathize with you!” sighs his chief, rolling his eyes. “I’ve lost my wife, my dear, I understand. That’s a loss, it really is! It’s terrible, just terrible! I hope Lizaveta Pavlovna is feeling better now! Which doctor is taking care of her?”
“Von Schterk.”
“Von Schterk.”
“Von Schterk! But you would have been better to have called in Magnus or Semandritsky. But how very pale your face is. You are ill yourself! This is awful!”
“Von Schterk! But it would have been better to call in Magnus or Semandritsky. But your face is so pale. You're not feeling well! This is terrible!”
“Yes, your Excellency, I haven’t slept. What I have suffered, what I have been through!”
“Yeah, your Excellency, I haven’t slept. What I’ve gone through, what I’ve endured!”
“And yet you came! Why you came I can’t understand? One can’t force oneself like that! One mustn’t do oneself harm like that. Go home and stay there till you are well again! Go home, I command you! Zeal is a very fine thing in a young official, but you mustn’t forget as the Romans used to say: ‘mens sana in corpore sano,’ that is, a healthy brain in a healthy body.”
“And yet you came! I can’t understand why you came. You can’t force yourself like that! You shouldn’t harm yourself like that. Go home and stay there until you’re better! Go home, I’m telling you! Enthusiasm is great in a young official, but remember what the Romans used to say: ‘a healthy mind in a healthy body.’”
Vassya agrees, puts his papers back in his portfolio, and, taking leave of his chief, goes home to bed.
Vassya agrees, puts his papers back in his bag, and, saying goodbye to his boss, heads home to sleep.
THE LION AND THE SUN
IN one of the towns lying on this side of the Urals a rumour was afloat that a Persian magnate, called Rahat-Helam, was staying for a few days in the town and putting up at the “Japan Hotel.” This rumour made no impression whatever upon the inhabitants; a Persian had arrived, well, so be it. Only Stepan Ivanovitch Kutsyn, the mayor of the town, hearing of the arrival of the oriental gentleman from the secretary of the Town Hall, grew thoughtful and inquired:
IN one of the towns on this side of the Urals, a rumor was going around that a Persian nobleman named Rahat-Helam was staying for a few days in the town at the “Japan Hotel.” This rumor didn’t really affect the locals; a Persian had come, and that was that. Only Stepan Ivanovitch Kutsyn, the town’s mayor, upon hearing about the arrival of the foreign gentleman from the Town Hall secretary, became thoughtful and asked:
“Where is he going?”
"Where's he going?"
“To Paris or to London, I believe.”
“To Paris or to London, I guess.”
“H’m. . . . Then he is a big-wig, I suppose?”
“H’m. . . . So he's a big deal, I guess?”
“The devil only knows.”
"The devil knows."
As he went home from the Town Hall and had his dinner, the mayor sank into thought again, and this time he went on thinking till the evening. The arrival of the distinguished Persian greatly intrigued him. It seemed to him that fate itself had sent him this Rahat-Helam, and that a favourable opportunity had come at last for realising his passionate, secretly cherished dream. Kutsyn had already two medals, and the Stanislav of the third degree, the badge of the Red Cross, and the badge of the Society of Saving from Drowning, and in addition to these he had made himself a little gold gun crossed by a guitar, and this ornament, hung from a buttonhole in his uniform, looked in the distance like something special, and delightfully resembled a badge of distinction. It is well known that the more orders and medals you have the more you want—and the mayor had long been desirous of receiving the Persian order of The Lion and the Sun; he desired it passionately, madly. He knew very well that there was no need to fight, or to subscribe to an asylum, or to serve on committees to obtain this order; all that was needed was a favourable opportunity. And now it seemed to him that this opportunity had come.
As he headed home from the Town Hall and had his dinner, the mayor fell deep into thought again, and this time he kept thinking until the evening. The arrival of the distinguished Persian really fascinated him. It felt like fate itself had brought him this Rahat-Helam, and that a great opportunity had finally arrived for him to fulfill his passionate, secretly cherished dream. Kutsyn already had two medals, the Stanislav of the third degree, the badge of the Red Cross, and the badge of the Society for Saving from Drowning. On top of that, he had created a little gold gun crossed with a guitar, and this ornament, pinned on his uniform, looked special from a distance and charmingly resembled a badge of distinction. It’s well known that the more orders and medals you have, the more you want—and the mayor had long wanted to receive the Persian order of The Lion and the Sun; he wanted it passionately, crazily. He understood that he didn’t need to fight, or subscribe to an asylum, or volunteer on committees to get this order; all he needed was a favorable opportunity. And now it felt like that opportunity had come.
At noon on the following day he put on his chain and all his badges of distinction and went to the ‘Japan.’ Destiny favoured him. When he entered the distinguished Persian’s apartment the latter was alone and doing nothing. Rahat-Helam, an enormous Asiatic, with a long nose like the beak of a snipe, with prominent eyes, and with a fez on his head, was sitting on the floor rummaging in his portmanteau.
At noon the next day, he put on his chain and all his badges of distinction and went to the ‘Japan.’ Fate was on his side. When he walked into the prestigious Persian’s room, the latter was alone and idle. Rahat-Helam, a huge Asian man with a long nose like a snipe's beak, bulging eyes, and a fez on his head, was sitting on the floor, going through his suitcase.
“I beg you to excuse my disturbing you,” began Kutsyn, smiling. “I have the honour to introduce myself, the hereditary, honourable citizen and cavalier, Stepan Ivanovitch Kutsyn, mayor of this town. I regard it as my duty to honour, in the person of your Highness, so to say, the representative of a friendly and neighbourly state.”
“I’m really sorry to interrupt you,” Kutsyn started, smiling. “I’m honored to introduce myself as Stepan Ivanovitch Kutsyn, a lifelong, respected citizen and knight, and the mayor of this town. I feel it’s my duty to pay my respects to you, your Highness, as a representative of a friendly and neighboring state.”
The Persian turned and muttered something in very bad French, that sounded like tapping a board with a piece of wood.
The Persian turned and mumble something in really poor French, which sounded like tapping a board with a stick.
“The frontiers of Persia”—Kutsyn continued the greeting he had previously learned by heart—“are in close contact with the borders of our spacious fatherland, and therefore mutual sympathies impel me, so to speak, to express my solidarity with you.”
“The borders of Persia”—Kutsyn continued the greeting he had memorized—“are close to the borders of our vast homeland, and so I feel compelled to express my solidarity with you.”
The illustrious Persian got up and again muttered something in a wooden tongue. Kutsyn, who knew no foreign language, shook his head to show that he did not understand.
The famous Persian stood up and mumbled something in a stiff manner. Kutsyn, who didn't know any foreign languages, shook his head to indicate that he didn’t understand.
“Well, how am I to talk to him?” he thought. “It would be a good thing to send for an interpreter at once, but it is a delicate matter, I can’t talk before witnesses. The interpreter would be chattering all over the town afterwards.”
“Well, how am I supposed to talk to him?” he thought. “It would be smart to call for an interpreter right away, but it’s a sensitive issue; I can’t speak in front of anyone else. The interpreter would end up gossiping about it all over town later.”
And Kutsyn tried to recall the foreign words he had picked up from the newspapers.
And Kutsyn tried to remember the foreign words he had learned from the newspapers.
“I am the mayor of the town,” he muttered. “That is the lord mayor . . . municipalais . . . Vwee? Kompreney?”
“I’m the mayor of the town,” he muttered. “That’s the lord mayor . . . municipalais . . . Vwee? Understand?”
He wanted to express his social position in words or in gesture, and did not know how. A picture hanging on the wall with an inscription in large letters, “The Town of Venice,” helped him out of his difficulties. He pointed with his finger at the town, then at his own head, and in that way obtained, as he imagined, the phrase: “I am the head of the town.” The Persian did not understand, but he gave a smile, and said:
He wanted to show his social status through words or gestures but didn't know how. A picture on the wall with the big letters “The Town of Venice” came to his rescue. He pointed at the town, then at his own head, and thought he conveyed the idea: “I am the head of the town.” The Persian didn’t get it, but he smiled and said:
“Goot, monsieur . . . goot . . . . .” Half-an-hour later the mayor was slapping the Persian, first on the knee and then on the shoulder, and saying:
“Good, sir . . . good . . . . .” Half an hour later, the mayor was patting the Persian, first on the knee and then on the shoulder, and saying:
“Kompreney? Vwee? As lord mayor and municipalais I suggest that you should take a little promenage . . . kompreney? Promenage.”
“Understand? You get it? As lord mayor and municipal I suggest you take a little walk . . . understand? Walk.”
Kutsyn pointed at Venice, and with two fingers represented walking legs. Rahat-Helam who kept his eyes fixed on his medals, and was apparently guessing that this was the most important person in the town, understood the word promenage and grinned politely. Then they both put on their coats and went out of the room. Downstairs near the door leading to the restaurant of the ‘Japan,’ Kutsyn reflected that it would not be amiss to entertain the Persian. He stopped and indicating the tables, said:
Kutsyn pointed at Venice and mimed walking with two fingers. Rahat-Helam, who was focused on his medals and seemed to think this was the most important person in town, understood the word promenage and smiled politely. Then they both put on their coats and left the room. Downstairs near the door to the 'Japan' restaurant, Kutsyn thought it would be a good idea to entertain the Persian. He paused and pointed to the tables, saying:
“By Russian custom it wouldn’t be amiss . . . puree, entrekot, champagne and so on, kompreney.”
“According to Russian custom, it wouldn’t be inappropriate . . . puree, entrekot, champagne, and so on, you know.”
The illustrious visitor understood, and a little later they were both sitting in the very best room of the restaurant, eating, and drinking champagne.
The distinguished guest got it, and a bit later they were both sitting in the finest room of the restaurant, eating and drinking champagne.
“Let us drink to the prosperity of Persia!” said Kutsyn. “We Russians love the Persians. Though we are of another faith, yet there are common interests, mutual, so to say, sympathies . . . progress . . . Asiatic markets. . . . The campaigns of peace so to say. . . .”
“Let’s raise a glass to the prosperity of Persia!” said Kutsyn. “We Russians have a fondness for the Persians. Even though we follow a different faith, we still share common interests and, you could say, mutual sympathies… progress… Asian markets… The campaigns for peace, so to speak…”
The illustrious Persian ate and drank with an excellent appetite, he stuck his fork into a slice of smoked sturgeon, and wagging his head, enthusiastically said: “Goot, bien.”
The distinguished Persian ate and drank with a great appetite, he stabbed his fork into a piece of smoked sturgeon, and nodding his head, said excitedly: “Good, good.”
“You like it?” said the mayor delighted. “Bien, that’s capital.” And turning to the waiter he said: “Luka, my lad, see that two pieces of smoked sturgeon, the best you have, are sent up to his Highness’s room!”
“You like it?” the mayor said, thrilled. “Great, that’s awesome.” Turning to the waiter, he said, “Luka, my friend, make sure two pieces of the best smoked sturgeon you have are sent up to his Highness’s room!”
Then the mayor and the Persian magnate went to look at the menagerie. The townspeople saw their Stepan Ivanovitch, flushed with champagne, gay and very well pleased, leading the Persian about the principal streets and the bazaar, showing him the points of interest of the town, and even taking him to the fire tower.
Then the mayor and the Persian businessman went to check out the zoo. The townspeople saw their Stepan Ivanovitch, flushed from champagne, cheerful and very happy, leading the Persian around the main streets and the market, showing him the town's highlights, and even taking him to the fire tower.
Among other things the townspeople saw him stop near some stone gates with lions on it, and point out to the Persian first the lion, then the sun overhead, and then his own breast; then again he pointed to the lion and to the sun while the Persian nodded his head as though in sign of assent, and smiling showed his white teeth. In the evening they were sitting in the London Hotel listening to the harp-players, and where they spent the night is not known.
Among other things, the townspeople saw him stop near some stone gates with lions on them and point out to the Persian first the lion, then the sun overhead, and then his own chest; then he pointed to the lion and the sun again while the Persian nodded his head as if to show agreement, smiling to reveal his white teeth. In the evening, they were at the London Hotel listening to the harp players, and where they spent the night is not known.
Next day the mayor was at the Town Hall in the morning; the officials there apparently already knew something and were making their conjectures, for the secretary went up to him and said with an ironical smile:
Next day the mayor was at the Town Hall in the morning; the officials there seemed to already know something and were making their guesses, for the secretary approached him and said with a sarcastic smile:
“It is the custom of the Persians when an illustrious visitor comes to visit you, you must slaughter a sheep with your own hands.”
“It’s the tradition of the Persians that when a distinguished guest arrives to see you, you have to slaughter a sheep yourself.”
And a little later an envelope that had come by post was handed to him. The mayor tore it open and saw a caricature in it. It was a drawing of Rahat-Helam with the mayor on his knees before him, stretching out his hands and saying:
And a little later, someone handed him an envelope that had arrived by mail. The mayor ripped it open and found a caricature inside. It was a drawing of Rahat-Helam with the mayor kneeling before him, extending his hands and saying:
“To prove our Russian friendship For Persia’s mighty realm, And show respect for you, her envoy, Myself I’d slaughter like a lamb, But, pardon me, for I’m a—donkey!”
“To show our friendship for Russia For Persia’s great kingdom, And to honor you, her messenger, I’d sacrifice myself like a lamb, But, excuse me, because I’m a—donkey!”
The mayor was conscious of an unpleasant feeling like a gnawing in the pit of the stomach, but not for long. By midday he was again with the illustrious Persian, again he was regaling him and showing him the points of interest in the town. Again he led him to the stone gates, and again pointed to the lion, to the sun and to his own breast. They dined at the ‘Japan’; after dinner, with cigars in their teeth, both, flushed and blissful, again mounted the fire tower, and the mayor, evidently wishing to entertain the visitor with an unusual spectacle, shouted from the top to a sentry walking below:
The mayor felt a nagging discomfort in his stomach, but it didn't last long. By midday, he was once again with the esteemed Persian, treating him to hospitality and highlighting the interesting sights in the town. He took him to the stone gates again and pointed out the lion, the sun, and his own chest. They had dinner at the ‘Japan’; after the meal, with cigars in their mouths, both of them, rosy and happy, climbed the fire tower again, and the mayor, clearly wanting to impress the visitor with something different, shouted from the top to a guard walking below:
“Sound the alarm!”
"Sound the alarm!"
But the alarm was not sounded as the firemen were at the baths at the moment.
But the alarm wasn’t triggered because the firefighters were at the baths at that moment.
They supped at the ‘London’ and, after supper, the Persian departed. When he saw him off, Stepan Ivanovitch kissed him three times after the Russian fashion, and even grew tearful. And when the train started, he shouted:
They had dinner at the 'London', and after dinner, the Persian left. When he saw him off, Stepan Ivanovitch kissed him three times like they do in Russia and even got a bit emotional. And when the train started, he yelled:
“Give our greeting to Persia! Tell her that we love her!”
“Send our regards to Persia! Let her know that we love her!”
A year and four months had passed. There was a bitter frost, thirty-five degrees, and a piercing wind was blowing. Stepan Ivanovitch was walking along the street with his fur coat thrown open over his chest, and he was annoyed that he met no one to see the Lion and the Sun upon his breast. He walked about like this till evening with his fur coat open, was chilled to the bone, and at night tossed from side to side and could not get to sleep.
A year and four months had gone by. It was bitterly cold, thirty-five degrees, and a sharp wind was blowing. Stepan Ivanovitch was walking down the street with his fur coat flung open over his chest, feeling annoyed that no one was around to see the Lion and the Sun on his chest. He wandered like this until evening with his coat undone, became freezing cold, and at night he tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep.
He felt heavy at heart.
He felt sad.
There was a burning sensation inside him, and his heart throbbed uneasily; he had a longing now to get a Serbian order. It was a painful, passionate longing.
There was a burning sensation inside him, and his heart throbbed uneasily; he now had a strong desire to receive a Serbian order. It was a painful, intense longing.
A DAUGHTER OF ALBION
A FINE carriage with rubber tyres, a fat coachman, and velvet on the seats, rolled up to the house of a landowner called Gryabov. Fyodor Andreitch Otsov, the district Marshal of Nobility, jumped out of the carriage. A drowsy footman met him in the hall.
A NICE carriage with rubber tires, a plump driver, and velvet seats pulled up to the home of a landowner named Gryabov. Fyodor Andreitch Otsov, the district Marshal of Nobility, hopped out of the carriage. A sleepy footman greeted him in the hallway.
“Are the family at home?” asked the Marshal.
“Is the family at home?” asked the Marshal.
“No, sir. The mistress and the children are gone out paying visits, while the master and mademoiselle are catching fish. Fishing all the morning, sir.”
“No, sir. The lady of the house and the kids have gone out visiting, while the gentleman and the young lady are out fishing. They've been fishing all morning, sir.”
Otsov stood a little, thought a little, and then went to the river to look for Gryabov. Going down to the river he found him a mile and a half from the house. Looking down from the steep bank and catching sight of Gryabov, Otsov gushed with laughter. . . . Gryabov, a large stout man, with a very big head, was sitting on the sand, angling, with his legs tucked under him like a Turk. His hat was on the back of his head and his cravat had slipped on one side. Beside him stood a tall thin Englishwoman, with prominent eyes like a crab’s, and a big bird-like nose more like a hook than a nose. She was dressed in a white muslin gown through which her scraggy yellow shoulders were very distinctly apparent. On her gold belt hung a little gold watch. She too was angling. The stillness of the grave reigned about them both. Both were motionless, as the river upon which their floats were swimming.
Otsov paused for a moment, thought for a bit, and then headed to the river to find Gryabov. When he got to the river, he spotted Gryabov a mile and a half from the house. Looking down from the steep bank and seeing Gryabov, Otsov burst out laughing. Gryabov, a big, heavyset man with a large head, was sitting on the sand, fishing, with his legs tucked under him like a Turk. His hat was pushed back on his head, and his cravat had slipped to one side. Next to him stood a tall, thin Englishwoman with bulging, crab-like eyes and a large, hook-like nose. She was wearing a white muslin dress that clearly showed her skinny yellow shoulders. A small gold watch hung from her gold belt. She was also fishing. An eerie stillness surrounded them both. They were as motionless as the river on which their floats were drifting.
“A desperate passion, but deadly dull!” laughed Otsov. “Good-day, Ivan Kuzmitch.”
“A desperate passion, but incredibly boring!” laughed Otsov. “Good day, Ivan Kuzmitch.”
“Ah . . . is that you?” asked Gryabov, not taking his eyes off the water. “Have you come?”
“Ah . . . is that you?” asked Gryabov, keeping his gaze fixed on the water. “Have you arrived?”
“As you see . . . . And you are still taken up with your crazy nonsense! Not given it up yet?”
“As you can see . . . . And you're still caught up in your ridiculous nonsense! Haven't given it up yet?”
“The devil’s in it. . . . I begin in the morning and fish all day . . . . The fishing is not up to much to-day. I’ve caught nothing and this dummy hasn’t either. We sit on and on and not a devil of a fish! I could scream!”
“The devil's in it... I start in the morning and fish all day... The fishing isn't great today. I haven't caught anything and this idiot hasn't either. We just sit here and nothing! I could scream!”
“Well, chuck it up then. Let’s go and have some vodka!”
“Well, throw it away then. Let’s go have some vodka!”
“Wait a little, maybe we shall catch something. Towards evening the fish bite better . . . . I’ve been sitting here, my boy, ever since the morning! I can’t tell you how fearfully boring it is. It was the devil drove me to take to this fishing! I know that it is rotten idiocy for me to sit here. I sit here like some scoundrel, like a convict, and I stare at the water like a fool. I ought to go to the haymaking, but here I sit catching fish. Yesterday His Holiness held a service at Haponyevo, but I didn’t go. I spent the day here with this . . . with this she-devil.”
“Wait a bit, maybe we’ll catch something. The fish bite better in the evening... I’ve been sitting here, my boy, since morning! I can’t tell you how incredibly boring it is. It was the devil who made me start this fishing! I know it’s complete nonsense for me to be sitting here. I’m here like some crook, like a prisoner, staring at the water like an idiot. I should be out haymaking, but here I am trying to catch fish. Yesterday, His Holiness held a service at Haponyevo, but I didn’t go. I spent the day here with this... with this she-devil.”
“But . . . have you taken leave of your senses?” asked Otsov, glancing in embarrassment at the Englishwoman. “Using such language before a lady and she . . . .”
“But . . . have you lost your mind?” asked Otsov, glancing in embarrassment at the Englishwoman. “Using that kind of language in front of a lady and she . . . .”
“Oh, confound her, it doesn’t matter, she doesn’t understand a syllable of Russian, whether you praise her or blame her, it is all the same to her! Just look at her nose! Her nose alone is enough to make one faint. We sit here for whole days together and not a single word! She stands like a stuffed image and rolls the whites of her eyes at the water.”
“Oh, forget her, it doesn’t matter, she doesn’t understand a word of Russian, whether you praise her or criticize her, it’s all the same to her! Just look at her nose! Her nose alone is enough to make someone faint. We sit here for days on end and not a single word! She just stands there like a statue and rolls her eyes at the water.”
The Englishwoman gave a yawn, put a new worm on, and dropped the hook into the water.
The Englishwoman yawned, put a new worm on the hook, and dropped it into the water.
“I wonder at her not a little,” Gryabov went on, “the great stupid has been living in Russia for ten years and not a word of Russian! . . . Any little aristocrat among us goes to them and learns to babble away in their lingo, while they . . . there’s no making them out. Just look at her nose, do look at her nose!”
“I can't help but wonder about her,” Gryabov continued, “this great fool has been living in Russia for ten years and hasn't learned a word of Russian! . . . Any little aristocrat among us goes to them and learns to chatter in their language, while they . . . you just can't figure them out. Just look at her nose, really take a look at her nose!”
“Come, drop it . . . it’s uncomfortable. Why attack a woman?”
“Come on, drop it... it’s uncomfortable. Why go after a woman?”
“She’s not a woman, but a maiden lady. . . . I bet she’s dreaming of suitors. The ugly doll. And she smells of something decaying . . . . I’ve got a loathing for her, my boy! I can’t look at her with indifference. When she turns her ugly eyes on me it sends a twinge all through me as though I had knocked my elbow on the parapet. She likes fishing too. Watch her: she fishes as though it were a holy rite! She looks upon everything with disdain . . . . She stands there, the wretch, and is conscious that she is a human being, and that therefore she is the monarch of nature. And do you know what her name is? Wilka Charlesovna Fyce! Tfoo! There is no getting it out!”
“She’s not a woman, just an old maid. I’m sure she’s dreaming of suitors. The ugly doll. And she smells like something rotting. I can’t stand her, my boy! I can’t look at her without feeling something. When she turns her ugly eyes on me, it makes me feel a twinge all over, like I just bumped my elbow on something hard. She likes fishing too. Just watch her: she fishes like it’s some sacred ritual! She views everything with disdain. There she stands, that miserable creature, aware that she’s human, and because of that, she thinks she’s the queen of nature. And do you know her name? Wilka Charlesovna Fyce! Ugh! It just sticks with you!”
The Englishwoman, hearing her name, deliberately turned her nose in Gryabov’s direction and scanned him with a disdainful glance; she raised her eyes from Gryabov to Otsov and steeped him in disdain. And all this in silence, with dignity and deliberation.
The Englishwoman, hearing her name, intentionally directed her gaze towards Gryabov and looked him over with a look of disdain; she then shifted her eyes from Gryabov to Otsov, subjecting him to the same contempt. And all of this was done in silence, with dignity and purpose.
“Did you see?” said Gryabov chuckling. “As though to say ‘take that.’ Ah, you monster! It’s only for the children’s sake that I keep that triton. If it weren’t for the children, I wouldn’t let her come within ten miles of my estate. . . . She has got a nose like a hawk’s . . . and her figure! That doll makes me think of a long nail, so I could take her, and knock her into the ground, you know. Stay, I believe I have got a bite. . . .”
“Did you see?” Gryabov said with a laugh. “As if to say, ‘take that.’ Ah, you monster! I only keep that triton for the kids' sake. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't let her come within ten miles of my place. . . . She has a nose like a hawk’s . . . and her figure! That doll makes me think of a long nail, so I could take her and drive her into the ground, you know. Wait, I think I’ve got a bite. . . .”
Gryabov jumped up and raised his rod. The line drew taut. . . . Gryabov tugged again, but could not pull out the hook.
Gryabov jumped up and lifted his rod. The line went tight. . . . Gryabov pulled again, but couldn't get the hook out.
“It has caught,” he said, frowning, “on a stone I expect . . . damnation take it . . . .”
“It’s stuck,” he said, frowning, “on a stone, I guess... damn it all...”
There was a look of distress on Gryabov’s face. Sighing, moving uneasily, and muttering oaths, he began tugging at the line.
There was a look of worry on Gryabov’s face. Sighing, shifting nervously, and cursing under his breath, he started pulling on the line.
“What a pity; I shall have to go into the water.”
"What a shame; I guess I have to get into the water."
“Oh, chuck it!”
“Oh, forget it!”
“I can’t. . . . There’s always good fishing in the evening. . . . What a nuisance. Lord, forgive us, I shall have to wade into the water, I must! And if only you knew, I have no inclination to undress. I shall have to get rid of the Englishwoman. . . . It’s awkward to undress before her. After all, she is a lady, you know!”
“I can’t... There’s always great fishing in the evening... What a hassle. God, forgive us, I’ll have to wade into the water, I have to! And if only you knew, I really don’t want to take my clothes off. I need to get rid of the Englishwoman... It’s uncomfortable to undress in front of her. After all, she’s a lady, you know!”
Gryabov flung off his hat, and his cravat.
Gryabov tossed aside his hat and his necktie.
“Meess . . . er, er . . .” he said, addressing the Englishwoman, “Meess Fyce, je voo pree . . . ? Well, what am I to say to her? How am I to tell you so that you can understand? I say . . . over there! Go away over there! Do you hear?”
“Miss . . . uh, um . . .” he said, talking to the Englishwoman, “Miss Fyce, do you . . . ? Well, what should I say to her? How can I explain this to you so that you get it? I say . . . over there! Go away over there! Do you understand?”
Miss Fyce enveloped Gryabov in disdain, and uttered a nasal sound.
Miss Fyce looked at Gryabov with contempt and made a nasal sound.
“What? Don’t you understand? Go away from here, I tell you! I must undress, you devil’s doll! Go over there! Over there!”
“What? Don’t you get it? Get out of here, I’m telling you! I need to take my clothes off, you creepy doll! Go over there! Over there!”
Gryabov pulled the lady by her sleeve, pointed her towards the bushes, and made as though he would sit down, as much as to say: Go behind the bushes and hide yourself there. . . . The Englishwoman, moving her eyebrows vigorously, uttered rapidly a long sentence in English. The gentlemen gushed with laughter.
Gryabov tugged at the woman’s sleeve, directed her towards the bushes, and pretended to sit down, as if to indicate: Go behind the bushes and hide there... The Englishwoman raised her eyebrows dramatically and quickly shouted a long sentence in English. The men burst into laughter.
“It’s the first time in my life I’ve heard her voice. There’s no denying, it is a voice! She does not understand! Well, what am I to do with her?”
“It’s the first time in my life I've heard her voice. There's no denying, it is a voice! She doesn't get it! Well, what am I supposed to do with her?”
“Chuck it, let’s go and have a drink of vodka!”
“Forget it, let’s go grab a drink of vodka!”
“I can’t. Now’s the time to fish, the evening. . . . It’s evening . . . . Come, what would you have me do? It is a nuisance! I shall have to undress before her. . . .”
“I can’t. It’s time to fish now, in the evening. . . . It’s evening . . . . Come on, what do you want me to do? This is a hassle! I’ll have to get undressed in front of her. . . .”
Gryabov flung off his coat and his waistcoat and sat on the sand to take off his boots.
Gryabov tossed aside his coat and waistcoat and sat down on the sand to remove his boots.
“I say, Ivan Kuzmitch,” said the marshal, chuckling behind his hand. “It’s really outrageous, an insult.”
“I mean, Ivan Kuzmitch,” said the marshal, chuckling behind his hand. “It’s really ridiculous, an insult.”
“Nobody asks her not to understand! It’s a lesson for these foreigners!”
“Nobody is telling her not to understand! It’s a lesson for these outsiders!”
Gryabov took off his boots and his trousers, flung off his undergarments and remained in the costume of Adam. Otsov held his sides, he turned crimson both from laughter and embarrassment. The Englishwoman twitched her brows and blinked . . . . A haughty, disdainful smile passed over her yellow face.
Gryabov took off his boots and pants, tossed aside his underwear, and stood there in his birthday suit. Otsov held his sides, turning red from both laughter and embarrassment. The Englishwoman raised her eyebrows and blinked... A haughty, contemptuous smile flashed across her pale face.
“I must cool off,” said Gryabov, slapping himself on the ribs. “Tell me if you please, Fyodor Andreitch, why I have a rash on my chest every summer.”
“I need to cool down,” said Gryabov, hitting himself on the ribs. “Can you tell me, please, Fyodor Andreitch, why I get a rash on my chest every summer?”
“Oh, do get into the water quickly or cover yourself with something, you beast.”
“Oh, hurry up and get into the water or cover yourself with something, you animal.”
“And if only she were confused, the nasty thing,” said Gryabov, crossing himself as he waded into the water. “Brrrr . . . the water’s cold. . . . Look how she moves her eyebrows! She doesn’t go away . . . she is far above the crowd! He, he, he . . . . and she doesn’t reckon us as human beings.”
“And if only she were just confused, the nasty thing,” said Gryabov, crossing himself as he stepped into the water. “Brrrr... the water’s freezing... Look at how she raises her eyebrows! She doesn’t leave... she’s above everyone else! He, he, he... and she doesn’t consider us human beings.”
Wading knee deep in the water and drawing his huge figure up to its full height, he gave a wink and said:
Wading knee-deep in the water and standing tall, he winked and said:
“This isn’t England, you see!”
"This isn't England, you know!"
Miss Fyce coolly put on another worm, gave a yawn, and dropped the hook in. Otsov turned away, Gryabov released his hook, ducked into the water and, spluttering, waded out. Two minutes later he was sitting on the sand and angling as before.
Miss Fyce calmly put on another worm, yawned, and dropped the hook in. Otsov turned away, Gryabov let go of his hook, bent down into the water, and, sputtering, waded back out. Two minutes later, he was sitting on the sand and fishing as before.
CHORISTERS
THE Justice of the Peace, who had received a letter from Petersburg, had set the news going that the owner of Yefremovo, Count Vladimir Ivanovitch, would soon be arriving. When he would arrive—there was no saying.
THE Justice of the Peace, who had gotten a letter from Petersburg, had spread the word that the owner of Yefremovo, Count Vladimir Ivanovitch, would be arriving soon. When he would arrive—there was no telling.
“Like a thief in the night,” said Father Kuzma, a grey-headed little priest in a lilac cassock. “And when he does come the place will be crowded with the nobility and other high gentry. All the neighbours will flock here. Mind now, do your best, Alexey Alexeitch. . . . I beg you most earnestly.”
“Like a thief in the night,” said Father Kuzma, a gray-haired little priest in a lilac cassock. “And when he does come, the place will be packed with nobles and other high society people. All the neighbors will come here. Now, make sure you do your best, Alexey Alexeitch... I’m begging you sincerely.”
“You need not trouble about me,” said Alexey Alexeitch, frowning. “I know my business. If only my enemy intones the litany in the right key. He may . . . out of sheer spite. . . .”
“You don’t need to worry about me,” said Alexey Alexeitch, frowning. “I know what I’m doing. As long as my enemy chants the litany in the right key. He might . . . just out of spite. . . .”
“There, there. . . . I’ll persuade the deacon. . . I’ll persuade him.”
“There, there... I’ll talk to the deacon... I’ll convince him.”
Alexey Alexeitch was the sacristan of the Yefremovo church. He also taught the schoolboys church and secular singing, for which he received sixty roubles a year from the revenues of the Count’s estate. The schoolboys were bound to sing in church in return for their teaching. Alexey Alexeitch was a tall, thick-set man of dignified deportment, with a fat, clean-shaven face that reminded one of a cow’s udder. His imposing figure and double chin made him look like a man occupying an important position in the secular hierarchy rather than a sacristan. It was strange to see him, so dignified and imposing, flop to the ground before the bishop and, on one occasion, after too loud a squabble with the deacon Yevlampy Avdiessov, remain on his knees for two hours by order of the head priest of the district. Grandeur was more in keeping with his figure than humiliation.
Alexey Alexeitch was the sacristan of the Yefremovo church. He also taught the schoolboys church and secular singing, earning sixty roubles a year from the Count’s estate. The schoolboys were required to sing in church in exchange for their lessons. Alexey Alexeitch was a tall, sturdy man with a dignified demeanor, and his plump, clean-shaven face resembled a cow’s udder. His impressive stature and double chin made him appear to be a person of significant importance in society rather than just a sacristan. It was odd to see him, so dignified and authoritative, drop to the ground before the bishop and, on one occasion, after an overly loud argument with the deacon Yevlampy Avdiessov, remain on his knees for two hours as instructed by the district's head priest. Grandeur suited his presence better than humiliation.
On account of the rumours of the Count’s approaching visit he had a choir practice every day, morning and evening. The choir practice was held at the school. It did not interfere much with the school work. During the practice the schoolmaster, Sergey Makaritch, set the children writing copies while he joined the tenors as an amateur.
Due to the rumors about the Count’s upcoming visit, he had choir practice every day, both morning and evening. The choir practice took place at the school and didn’t disrupt the school work much. During the practice, the schoolmaster, Sergey Makaritch, had the kids do writing exercises while he joined the tenors as an amateur.
This is how the choir practice was conducted. Alexey Alexeitch would come into the school-room, slamming the door and blowing his nose. The trebles and altos extricated themselves noisily from the school-tables. The tenors and basses, who had been waiting for some time in the yard, came in, tramping like horses. They all took their places. Alexey Alexeitch drew himself up, made a sign to enforce silence, and struck a note with the tuning fork.
This is how the choir practice was run. Alexey Alexeitch would enter the classroom, slamming the door and blowing his nose. The trebles and altos would clamorously free themselves from the school desks. The tenors and basses, who had been waiting outside for a while, came in, stomping like horses. They all took their seats. Alexey Alexeitch straightened up, signaled for silence, and struck a note with the tuning fork.
“To-to-li-to-tom . . . Do-mi-sol-do!”
“To-to-li-to-tom . . . Do-mi-sol-do!”
“Adagio, adagio. . . . Once more.”
"Take it slow... Here we go again."
After the “Amen” there followed “Lord have mercy upon us” from the Great Litany. All this had been learned long ago, sung a thousand times and thoroughly digested, and it was gone through simply as a formality. It was sung indolently, unconsciously. Alexey Alexeitch waved his arms calmly and chimed in now in a tenor, now in a bass voice. It was all slow, there was nothing interesting. . . . But before the “Cherubim” hymn the whole choir suddenly began blowing their noses, coughing and zealously turning the pages of their music. The sacristan turned his back on the choir and with a mysterious expression on his face began tuning his violin. The preparations lasted a couple of minutes.
After the “Amen,” they all followed up with “Lord have mercy upon us” from the Great Litany. Everyone had learned this long ago, sung it a thousand times, and it felt routine. It was performed lazily, almost without thought. Alexey Alexeitch waved his arms calmly and chimed in at times with a tenor voice and at times with a bass voice. Everything was slow, and there was nothing captivating. . . . But just before the “Cherubim” hymn, the whole choir suddenly started blowing their noses, coughing, and eagerly flipping through their music pages. The sacristan turned his back on the choir and, with a mysterious look, began tuning his violin. The preparations took a couple of minutes.
“Take your places. Look at your music carefully. . . . Basses, don’t overdo it . . . rather softly.”
“Take your spots. Pay close attention to your music. . . . Basses, don’t go too strong . . . keep it a bit softer.”
Bortnyansky’s “Cherubim” hymn, No. 7, was selected. At a given signal silence prevailed. All eyes were fastened on the music, the trebles opened their mouths. Alexey Alexeitch softly lowered his arm.
Bortnyansky’s “Cherubim” hymn, No. 7, was chosen. At a specific signal, silence fell. Everyone's attention was focused on the music as the trebles opened their mouths. Alexey Alexeitch gently lowered his arm.
“Piano . . . piano. . . . You see ‘piano’ is written there. . . . More lightly, more lightly.”
“Slowly… slowly… You see ‘slowly’ is written there… More gently, more gently.”
When they had to sing “piano” an expression of benevolence and amiability overspread Alexey Alexeitch’s face, as though he was dreaming of a dainty morsel.
When they had to sing “piano,” a look of kindness and friendliness spread across Alexey Alexeitch’s face, as if he were imagining a tasty treat.
“Forte . . . forte! Hold it!”
“Strong . . . strong! Hold it!”
And when they had to sing “forte” the sacristan’s fat face expressed alarm and even horror.
And when they had to sing "loud," the sacristan's chubby face showed panic and even fear.
The “Cherubim” hymn was sung well, so well that the school-children abandoned their copies and fell to watching the movements of Alexey Alexeitch. People stood under the windows. The school-watchman, Vassily, came in wearing an apron and carrying a dinner-knife in his hand and stood listening. Father Kuzma, with an anxious face appeared suddenly as though he had sprung from out of the earth. . . . After ‘Let us lay aside all earthly cares’ Alexey Alexeitch wiped the sweat off his brow and went up to Father Kuzma in excitement.
The “Cherubim” hymn was sung beautifully, so beautifully that the school kids put down their copies and started watching Alexey Alexeitch’s movements. People gathered under the windows. The school-watchman, Vassily, came in wearing an apron and holding a dinner knife, and he stood there listening. Father Kuzma appeared suddenly with an anxious expression, almost as if he had sprung up from the ground. . . . After ‘Let us lay aside all earthly cares,’ Alexey Alexeitch wiped the sweat from his brow and excitedly approached Father Kuzma.
“It puzzles me, Father Kuzma,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, “why is it that the Russian people have no understanding? It puzzles me, may the Lord chastise me! Such an uncultured people that you really cannot tell whether they have a windpipe in their throats or some other sort of internal arrangement. Were you choking, or what?” he asked, addressing the bass Gennady Semitchov, the innkeeper’s brother.
“It confuses me, Father Kuzma,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, “why is it that the Russian people have no understanding? It confuses me, may the Lord punish me! Such an uncultured people that you really can't tell whether they have a windpipe in their throats or some other kind of internal setup. Were you choking, or what?” he asked, addressing the bass Gennady Semitchov, the innkeeper’s brother.
“Why?”
“Why?”
“What is your voice like? It rattles like a saucepan. I bet you were boozing yesterday! That’s what it is! Your breath smells like a tavern. . . . E-ech! You are a clodhopper, brother! You are a lout! How can you be a chorister if you keep company with peasants in the tavern? Ech, you are an ass, brother!”
“What’s your voice like? It sounds like a rattling saucepan. I bet you were drinking yesterday! That’s what it is! Your breath smells like a bar... Ugh! You’re such a clumsy fool, bro! You’re a complete jerk! How can you sing in the choir if you hang out with peasants at the bar? Ugh, you’re such an idiot, man!”
“It’s a sin, it’s a sin, brother,” muttered Father Kuzma. “God sees everything . . . through and through . . . .”
“It’s a sin, it’s a sin, brother,” whispered Father Kuzma. “God sees everything . . . completely . . . .”
“That’s why you have no idea of singing—because you care more for vodka than for godliness, you fool.”
“That’s why you know nothing about singing—because you care more about vodka than about being good, you idiot.”
“Don’t work yourself up,” said Father Kuzma. “Don’t be cross. . . . I will persuade him.”
“Don’t get worked up,” Father Kuzma said. “Don’t be upset. . . . I’ll talk to him.”
Father Kuzma went up to Gennady Semitchov and began “persuading” him: “What do you do it for? Try and put your mind to it. A man who sings ought to restrain himself, because his throat is . . . er . . tender.”
Father Kuzma approached Gennady Semitchov and started “persuading” him: “What’s the point? Think about it. A man who sings should hold back, because his throat is... um... delicate.”
Gennady scratched his neck and looked sideways towards the window as though the words did not apply to him.
Gennady scratched his neck and glanced out the window as if the words didn't relate to him.
After the “Cherubim” hymn they sang the Creed, then “It is meet and right”; they sang smoothly and with feeling, and so right on to “Our Father.”
After the “Cherubim” hymn, they sang the Creed, then “It is meet and right”; they sang smoothly and with feeling, and continued right on to “Our Father.”
“To my mind, Father Kuzma,” said the sacristan, “the old ‘Our Father’ is better than the modern. That’s what we ought to sing before the Count.”
“To me, Father Kuzma,” said the sacristan, “the old ‘Our Father’ is better than the modern one. That’s what we should sing in front of the Count.”
“No, no. . . . Sing the modern one. For the Count hears nothing but modern music when he goes to Mass in Petersburg or Moscow. . . . In the churches there, I imagine . . . there’s very different sort of music there, brother!”
“No, no... Sing the modern one. The Count only hears modern music when he goes to Mass in Petersburg or Moscow... I imagine the music there in the churches is very different, brother!”
After “Our Father” there was again a great blowing of noses, coughing and turning over of pages. The most difficult part of the performance came next: the “concert.” Alexey Alexeitch was practising two pieces, “Who is the God of glory” and “Universal Praise.” Whichever the choir learned best would be sung before the Count. During the “concert” the sacristan rose to a pitch of enthusiasm. The expression of benevolence was continually alternating with one of alarm.
After “Our Father,” there was once again a lot of nose-blowing, coughing, and flipping through pages. The most challenging part of the performance came next: the “concert.” Alexey Alexeitch was practicing two pieces, “Who is the God of Glory” and “Universal Praise.” Whichever the choir got down best would be sung in front of the Count. During the “concert,” the sacristan became extremely enthusiastic. The look of kindness kept switching to one of worry.
“Forte!” he muttered. “Andante! let yourselves go! Sing, you image! Tenors, you don’t bring it off! To-to-ti-to-tom. . . . Sol . . . si . . . sol, I tell you, you blockhead! Glory! Basses, glo . . . o . . . ry.”
“Louder!” he muttered. “Take it easy! Let yourselves go! Sing, you image! Tenors, you’re not hitting the mark! To-to-ti-to-tom. . . . Sol . . . si . . . sol, I’m telling you, you idiot! Glory! Basses, glo . . . o . . . ry.”
His bow travelled over the heads and shoulders of the erring trebles and altos. His left hand was continually pulling the ears of the young singers. On one occasion, carried away by his feelings he flipped the bass Gennady under the chin with his bent thumb. But the choristers were not moved to tears or to anger at his blows: they realised the full gravity of their task.
His bow glided over the heads and shoulders of the off-key sopranos and altos. His left hand was constantly yanking at the ears of the young singers. At one point, caught up in his emotions, he flicked the bass Gennady under the chin with his bent thumb. But the choir members didn’t react with tears or anger at his strikes; they understood the seriousness of their responsibility.
After the “concert” came a minute of silence. Alexey Alexeitch, red, perspiring and exhausted, sat down on the window-sill, and turned upon the company lustreless, wearied, but triumphant eyes. In the listening crowd he observed to his immense annoyance the deacon Avdiessov. The deacon, a tall thick-set man with a red pock-marked face, and straw in his hair, stood leaning against the stove and grinning contemptuously.
After the “concert,” there was a minute of silence. Alexey Alexeitch, red-faced, sweating, and worn out, sat down on the windowsill and looked at the group with dull, tired, but triumphant eyes. In the crowd of listeners, he was hugely irritated to see the deacon Avdiessov. The deacon, a tall, stocky man with a red, pockmarked face and straw in his hair, leaned against the stove and grinned contemptuously.
“That’s right, sing away! Perform your music!” he muttered in a deep bass. “Much the Count will care for your singing! He doesn’t care whether you sing with music or without. . . . For he is an atheist.”
“That’s right, go ahead and sing! Do your thing!” he muttered in a deep voice. “The Count won’t care about your singing! He doesn’t care if you sing with music or not... because he’s an atheist.”
Father Kuzma looked round in a scared way and twiddled his fingers.
Father Kuzma looked around nervously and fidgeted with his fingers.
“Come, come,” he muttered. “Hush, deacon, I beg.”
“Come on, come on,” he muttered. “Please be quiet, deacon.”
After the “concert” they sang “May our lips be filled with praise,” and the choir practice was over. The choir broke up to reassemble in the evening for another practice. And so it went on every day.
After the “concert,” they sang “May our lips be filled with praise,” and the choir practice was done. The choir split up to come back together in the evening for another practice. And that’s how it continued every day.
One month passed and then a second. . . . The steward, too, had by then received a notice that the Count would soon be coming. At last the dusty sun-blinds were taken off the windows of the big house, and Yefremovo heard the strains of the broken-down, out-of-tune piano. Father Kuzma was pining, though he could not himself have said why, or whether it was from delight or alarm. . . . The deacon went about grinning.
One month went by and then another. . . . By that time, the steward had also gotten word that the Count would be arriving soon. Finally, the dusty sunshades were removed from the windows of the large house, and Yefremovo heard the sounds of the old, out-of-tune piano. Father Kuzma was feeling down, even though he couldn’t quite say why, or whether it was from happiness or worry. . . . The deacon walked around with a smile.
The following Saturday evening Father Kuzma went to the sacristan’s lodgings. His face was pale, his shoulders drooped, the lilac of his cassock looked faded.
The following Saturday evening, Father Kuzma went to the sacristan’s place. His face was pale, his shoulders slumped, and the lilac of his cassock looked washed out.
“I have just been at his Excellency’s,” he said to the sacristan, stammering. “He is a cultivated gentleman with refined ideas. But . . . er . . . it’s mortifying, brother. . . . ‘At what o’clock, your Excellency, do you desire us to ring for Mass to-morrow?’ And he said: ‘As you think best. Only, couldn’t it be as short and quick as possible without a choir.’ Without a choir! Er . . . do you understand, without, without a choir. . . .”
“I just met with his Excellency,” he said to the sacristan, hesitating. “He’s a cultured guy with sophisticated ideas. But... um... it’s embarrassing, brother... ‘What time, your Excellency, do you want us to ring for Mass tomorrow?’ And he said: ‘As you think is best. Just make it short and quick, if possible, without a choir.’ Without a choir! Um... do you get it, without, without a choir...”
Alexey Alexeitch turned crimson. He would rather have spent two hours on his knees again than have heard those words! He did not sleep all night. He was not so much mortified at the waste of his labours as at the fact that the deacon would give him no peace now with his jeers. The deacon was delighted at his discomfiture. Next day all through the service he was casting disdainful glances towards the choir where Alexey Alexeitch was booming responses in solitude. When he passed by the choir with the censer he muttered:
Alexey Alexeitch turned bright red. He would have preferred to spend two hours on his knees again rather than hear those words! He couldn't sleep all night. He was less embarrassed about wasting his efforts and more worried that the deacon would now bother him with his taunts. The deacon was thrilled at his misfortune. The next day, during the service, he kept throwing disdainful looks at the choir where Alexey Alexeitch was loudly responding all by himself. As he walked past the choir with the censer, he muttered:
“Perform your music! Do your utmost! The Count will give a ten-rouble note to the choir!”
“Play your music! Give it your all! The Count will give a ten-rouble note to the choir!”
After the service the sacristan went home, crushed and ill with mortification. At the gate he was overtaken by the red-faced deacon.
After the service, the sacristan went home, feeling defeated and sick with embarrassment. At the gate, he was caught up with the red-faced deacon.
“Stop a minute, Alyosha!” said the deacon. “Stop a minute, silly, don’t be cross! You are not the only one, I am in for it too! Immediately after the Mass Father Kuzma went up to the Count and asked: ‘And what did you think of the deacon’s voice, your Excellency. He has a deep bass, hasn’t he?’ And the Count—do you know what he answered by way of compliment? ‘Anyone can bawl,’ he said. ‘A man’s voice is not as important as his brains.’ A learned gentleman from Petersburg! An atheist is an atheist, and that’s all about it! Come, brother in misfortune, let us go and have a drop to drown our troubles!”
“Hold on a second, Alyosha!” said the deacon. “Hold on, don’t be upset! You’re not the only one dealing with this—I’m in the same boat! Right after the Mass, Father Kuzma went up to the Count and asked, ‘What did you think of the deacon’s voice, your Excellency? He has a deep bass, doesn’t he?’ And the Count—do you know what he said to compliment me? ‘Anyone can shout,’ he replied. ‘A man’s voice isn’t as important as his intelligence.’ A learned man from Petersburg! An atheist is just an atheist, and that’s all there is to it! Come on, my fellow sufferer, let’s go have a drink to wash away our troubles!”
And the enemies went out of the gate arm-in-arm.
And the enemies left the gate side by side.
NERVES
DMITRI OSIPOVITCH VAXIN, the architect, returned from town to his holiday cottage greatly impressed by the spiritualistic séance at which he had been present. As he undressed and got into his solitary bed (Madame Vaxin had gone to an all-night service) he could not help remembering all he had seen and heard. It had not, properly speaking, been a séance at all, but the whole evening had been spent in terrifying conversation. A young lady had begun it by talking, apropos of nothing, about thought-reading. From thought-reading they had passed imperceptibly to spirits, and from spirits to ghosts, from ghosts to people buried alive. . . . A gentleman had read a horrible story of a corpse turning round in the coffin. Vaxin himself had asked for a saucer and shown the young ladies how to converse with spirits. He had called up among others the spirit of his deceased uncle, Klavdy Mironitch, and had mentally asked him:
DMITRI OSIPOVITCH VAXIN, the architect, returned from town to his vacation cabin feeling quite impressed by the spiritualist séance he had attended. As he undressed and crawled into his solitary bed (Madame Vaxin had gone to an all-night service), he couldn’t help but reminisce about everything he had seen and heard. It wasn’t exactly a séance, but rather an entire evening filled with unsettling conversations. A young woman had started the discussion out of the blue by talking about thought-reading. From thought-reading, the conversation subtly shifted to spirits, then to ghosts, and eventually to the topic of people being buried alive... A gentleman had read a disturbing tale about a corpse turning over in its coffin. Vaxin himself had requested a saucer and demonstrated for the young ladies how to communicate with spirits. He had summoned, among others, the spirit of his late uncle, Klavdy Mironitch, and had mentally asked him:
“Has not the time come for me to transfer the ownership of our house to my wife?”
“Isn't it time for me to transfer the ownership of our house to my wife?”
To which his uncle’s spirit had replied:
To which his uncle's spirit responded:
“All things are good in their season.”
“All things are good in their time.”
“There is a great deal in nature that is mysterious and . . . terrible . . .” thought Vaxin, as he got into bed. “It’s not the dead but the unknown that’s so horrible.”
“There’s a lot in nature that’s mysterious and . . . terrifying . . .” thought Vaxin, as he got into bed. “It’s not the dead but the unknown that’s so awful.”
It struck one o’clock. Vaxin turned over on the other side and peeped out from beneath the bedclothes at the blue light of the lamp burning before the holy ikon. The flame flickered and cast a faint light on the ikon-stand and the big portrait of Uncle Klavdy that hung facing his bed.
It was one o’clock. Vaxin rolled over to the other side and peeked out from under the covers at the blue light of the lamp burning in front of the holy icon. The flame flickered and gave a dim glow to the icon stand and the large portrait of Uncle Klavdy that hung facing his bed.
“And what if the ghost of Uncle Klavdy should appear this minute?” flashed through Vaxin’s mind. “But, of course, that’s impossible.”
“And what if Uncle Klavdy's ghost shows up right now?” flashed through Vaxin’s mind. “But, of course, that’s impossible.”
Ghosts are, we all know, a superstition, the offspring of undeveloped intelligence, but Vaxin, nevertheless, pulled the bed-clothes over his head, and shut his eyes very tight. The corpse that turned round in its coffin came back to his mind, and the figures of his deceased mother-in-law, of a colleague who had hanged himself, and of a girl who had drowned herself, rose before his imagination. . . . Vaxin began trying to dispel these gloomy ideas, but the more he tried to drive them away the more haunting the figures and fearful fancies became. He began to feel frightened.
Ghosts are, as we all know, just a superstition, a product of unrefined intelligence, but Vaxin still pulled the sheets over his head and closed his eyes really tight. The image of the corpse turning in its coffin came back to him, along with memories of his deceased mother-in-law, a colleague who had hanged himself, and a girl who had drowned. . . . Vaxin started to try to push these dark thoughts away, but the more he tried, the more the figures and scary fantasies loomed in his mind. He began to feel scared.
“Hang it all!” he thought. “Here I am afraid in the dark like a child! Idiotic!”
“Damn it!” he thought. “Here I am, scared in the dark like a kid! Ridiculous!”
Tick . . . tick . . . tick . . . he heard the clock in the next room. The church-bell chimed the hour in the churchyard close by. The bell tolled slowly, depressingly, mournfully. . . . A cold chill ran down Vaxin’s neck and spine. He fancied he heard someone breathing heavily over his head, as though Uncle Klavdy had stepped out of his frame and was bending over his nephew. . . . Vaxin felt unbearably frightened. He clenched his teeth and held his breath in terror.
Tick . . . tick . . . tick . . . he heard the clock in the next room. The church bell rang the hour in the nearby churchyard. The bell tolled slowly, sadly, mournfully . . . A cold chill ran down Vaxin’s neck and spine. He thought he heard someone breathing heavily above him, as if Uncle Klavdy had stepped out of his picture and was leaning over his nephew . . . Vaxin felt an overwhelming fear. He gritted his teeth and held his breath in terror.
At last, when a cockchafer flew in at the open window and began buzzing over his bed, he could bear it no longer and gave a violent tug at the bellrope.
At last, when a cockchafer flew in through the open window and started buzzing over his bed, he couldn't take it anymore and yanked the bell rope hard.
“Dmitri Osipitch, was wollen Sie?” he heard the voice of the German governess at his door a moment later.
“Dmitri Osipitch, what do you want?” he heard the voice of the German governess at his door a moment later.
“Ah, it’s you, Rosalia Karlovna!” Vaxin cried, delighted. “Why do you trouble? Gavrila might just . . .”
“Wow, it’s you, Rosalia Karlovna!” Vaxin exclaimed, thrilled. “Why are you worried? Gavrila might just . . .”
“Yourself Gavrila to the town sent. And Glafira is somewhere all the evening gone. . . . There’s nobody in the house. . . . Was wollen Sie doch?”
“Gavrila, you went to town. And Glafira has been gone all evening... There’s nobody in the house... What do you want?”
“Well, what I wanted . . . it’s . . . but, please, come in . . . you needn’t mind! . . . it’s dark.”
“Well, what I wanted . . . it’s . . . but, please, come in . . . you don’t have to worry! . . . it’s dark.”
Rosalia Karlovna, a stout red-cheeked person, came in to the bedroom and stood in an expectant attitude at the door.
Rosalia Karlovna, a plump woman with rosy cheeks, entered the bedroom and stood at the door, waiting expectantly.
“Sit down, please . . . you see, it’s like this. . . . What on earth am I to ask her for?” he wondered, stealing a glance at Uncle Klavdy’s portrait and feeling his soul gradually returning to tranquility.
“Please have a seat . . . you see, it’s like this. . . . What on earth should I ask her for?” he wondered, glancing at Uncle Klavdy’s portrait and feeling his soul slowly returning to calm.
“What I really wanted to ask you was . . . Oh, when the man goes to town, don’t forget to tell him to . . . er . . . er . . . to get some cigarette-papers. . . . But do, please sit down.”
“What I really wanted to ask you was . . . Oh, when the guy goes to town, don’t forget to tell him to . . . um . . . um . . . to pick up some cigarette papers. . . . But please, do sit down.”
“Cigarette-papers? good. . . . Was wollen Sie noch?”
“Cigarette papers? Good... What else do you want?”
“Ich will . . . there’s nothing I will, but. . . But do sit down! I shall think of something else in a minute.”
“I want . . . there’s nothing I want, but. . . But do sit down! I’ll think of something else in a minute.”
“It is shocking for a maiden in a man’s room to remain. . . . Mr. Vaxin, you are, I see, a naughty man. . . . I understand. . . . To order cigarette-papers one does not a person wake. . . . I understand you. . . .”
“It’s surprising for a young woman to stay in a man’s room. . . . Mr. Vaxin, I can see you're a bit mischievous. . . . I get it. . . . You don’t wake someone up just to ask for cigarette papers. . . . I understand you. . . .”
Rosalia Karlovna turned and went out of the room.
Rosalia Karlovna turned around and left the room.
Somewhat reassured by his conversation with her and ashamed of his cowardice, Vaxin pulled the bedclothes over his head and shut his eyes. For about ten minutes he felt fairly comfortable, then the same nonsense came creeping back into his mind. . . . He swore to himself, felt for the matches, and without opening his eyes lighted a candle.
Somewhat reassured by his conversation with her and embarrassed by his cowardice, Vaxin pulled the blankets over his head and shut his eyes. For about ten minutes, he felt pretty comfortable, then the same nonsense started creeping back into his mind... He cursed to himself, reached for the matches, and without opening his eyes lit a candle.
But even the light was no use. To Vaxin’ s excited imagination it seemed as though someone were peeping round the corner and that his uncle’s eyes were moving.
But even the light was no help. To Vaxin’s excited imagination, it felt like someone was peeking around the corner and that his uncle’s eyes were moving.
“I’ll ring her up again . . . damn the woman!” he decided. “I’ll tell her I’m unwell and ask for some drops.”
“I'll call her again... damn that woman!” he decided. “I'll tell her I'm not feeling well and ask for some drops.”
Vaxin rang. There was no response. He rang again, and as though answering his ring, he heard the church-bell toll the hour.
Vaxin rang. There was no answer. He rang again, and as if responding to his call, he heard the church bell chime the hour.
Overcome with terror, cold all over, he jumped out of bed, ran headlong out of his bedroom, and making the sign of the cross and cursing himself for his cowardice, he fled barefoot in his night-shirt to the governess’s room.
Overcome with fear, cold all over, he jumped out of bed, ran straight out of his bedroom, and, making the sign of the cross and cursing himself for his cowardice, fled barefoot in his nightshirt to the governess’s room.
“Rosalia Karlovna!” he began in a shaking voice as he knocked at her door, “Rosalia Karlovna! . . . Are you asleep? . . . I feel . . . so . . . er . . . er . . . unwell. . . . Drops! . . .”
“Rosalia Karlovna!” he started in a shaky voice as he knocked on her door, “Rosalia Karlovna! . . . Are you asleep? . . . I feel . . . so . . . um . . . er . . . unwell. . . . Drops! . . .”
There was no answer. Silence reigned.
There was no response. It was silent.
“I beg you . . . do you understand? I beg you! Why this squeamishness, I can’t understand . . . especially when a man . . . is ill . . . How absurdly zierlich manierlich you are really . . . at your age. . . .”
“I’m begging you... do you get it? I’m begging you! Why are you being so sensitive? I don’t understand... especially when a man... is unwell... How ridiculously zierlich manierlich you are at your age...”
“I to your wife shall tell. . . . Will not leave an honest maiden in peace. . . . When I was at Baron Anzig’s, and the baron try to come to me for matches, I understand at once what his matches mean and tell to the baroness. . . . I am an honest maiden.”
“I will tell your wife... I won't leave an honest woman in peace... When I was at Baron Anzig’s, and the baron tried to talk to me about matches, I immediately understood what he meant and told the baroness... I am an honest woman.”
“Hang your honesty! I am ill I tell you . . . and asking you for drops. Do you understand? I’m ill!”
“Forget your honesty! I'm sick, I tell you... and I'm asking you for medicine. Do you get it? I'm sick!”
“Your wife is an honest, good woman, and you ought her to love! Ja! She is noble! . . . I will not be her foe!”
“Your wife is a sincere, good woman, and you should love her! Yes! She is noble! . . . I will not be her enemy!”
“You are a fool! simply a fool! Do you understand, a fool?”
“You're an idiot! Seriously, just an idiot! Do you get it, an idiot?”
Vaxin leaned against the door-post, folded his arms and waited for his panic to pass off. To return to his room where the lamp flickered and his uncle stared at him from his frame was more than he could face, and to stand at the governess’s door in nothing but his night-shirt was inconvenient from every point of view. What could he do?
Vaxin leaned against the doorframe, crossed his arms, and waited for his panic to fade. Going back to his room, where the lamp flickered and his uncle glared at him from the picture frame, was more than he could handle, and standing at the governess’s door in just his nightshirt was awkward from every angle. What could he do?
It struck two o’clock and his terror had not left him. There was no light in the passage and something dark seemed to be peeping out from every corner. Vaxin turned so as to face the door-post, but at that instant it seemed as though somebody tweaked his night-shirt from behind and touched him on the shoulder.
It struck two o’clock and his fear hadn’t faded. There was no light in the hallway, and something dark seemed to be lurking in every corner. Vaxin turned to face the door frame, but at that moment, it felt like someone tugged at his nightshirt from behind and touched his shoulder.
“Damnation! . . . Rosalia Karlovna!”
“Damn it! . . . Rosalia Karlovna!”
No answer. Vaxin hesitatingly opened the door and peeped into the room. The virtuous German was sweetly slumbering. The tiny flame of a night-light threw her solid buxom person into relief. Vaxin stepped into the room and sat down on a wickerwork trunk near the door. He felt better in the presence of a living creature, even though that creature was asleep.
No answer. Vaxin cautiously opened the door and peeked into the room. The virtuous German was peacefully sleeping. The small flame of a night-light highlighted her solid, curvy figure. Vaxin stepped into the room and sat down on a wicker trunk near the door. He felt reassured being near a living being, even if that being was asleep.
“Let the German idiot sleep,” he thought, “I’ll sit here, and when it gets light I’ll go back. . . . It’s daylight early now.”
“Let the German idiot sleep,” he thought, “I’ll sit here, and when it gets light, I’ll head back. . . . It’s getting light early now.”
Vaxin curled up on the trunk and put his arm under his head to await the coming of dawn.
Vaxin curled up on the trunk and rested his arm under his head to wait for dawn to arrive.
“What a thing it is to have nerves!” he reflected. “An educated, intelligent man! . . . Hang it all! . . . It’s a perfect disgrace!”
“What a thing it is to have nerves!” he thought. “An educated, intelligent guy! . . . Damn it all! . . . It’s a complete disgrace!”
As he listened to the gentle, even breathing of Rosalia Karlovna, he soon recovered himself completely.
As he listened to the soft, steady breathing of Rosalia Karlovna, he quickly calmed down completely.
At six o’clock, Vaxin’s wife returned from the all-night service, and not finding her husband in their bedroom, went to the governess to ask her for some change for the cabman.
At six o’clock, Vaxin’s wife came back from the all-night service, and not finding her husband in their bedroom, went to the governess to ask her for some change for the cab driver.
On entering the German’s room, a strange sight met her eyes.
On entering the German’s room, a strange sight greeted her.
On the bed lay stretched Rosalia Karlovna fast asleep, and a couple of yards from her was her husband curled up on the trunk sleeping the sleep of the just and snoring loudly.
On the bed, Rosalia Karlovna was fast asleep, and a couple of yards away, her husband was curled up on the trunk, sleeping soundly and snoring loudly.
What she said to her husband, and how he looked when he woke, I leave to others to describe. It is beyond my powers.
What she said to her husband and how he looked when he woke up, I leave it to others to describe. It's beyond my abilities.
A WORK OF ART
SASHA SMIRNOV, the only son of his mother, holding under his arm, something wrapped up in No. 223 of the Financial News, assumed a sentimental expression, and went into Dr. Koshelkov’s consulting-room.
SASHA SMIRNOV, the only son of his mother, carrying something wrapped in No. 223 of the Financial News, put on a sentimental look and walked into Dr. Koshelkov’s consulting room.
“Ah, dear lad!” was how the doctor greeted him. “Well! how are we feeling? What good news have you for me?”
“Ah, dear boy!” the doctor said as he welcomed him. “So! How are you feeling? What good news do you have for me?”
Sasha blinked, laid his hand on his heart and said in an agitated voice: “Mamma sends her greetings to you, Ivan Nikolaevitch, and told me to thank you. . . . I am the only son of my mother and you have saved my life . . . you have brought me through a dangerous illness and . . . we do not know how to thank you.”
Sasha blinked, placed his hand on his heart, and said in an upset tone: “Mom sends her regards to you, Ivan Nikolaevitch, and asked me to thank you. . . . I am my mother's only son, and you’ve saved my life . . . you helped me recover from a serious illness, and . . . we just don’t know how to show our gratitude.”
“Nonsense, lad!” said the doctor, highly delighted. “I only did what anyone else would have done in my place.”
“Nonsense, kid!” said the doctor, very pleased. “I just did what anyone else would have done in my situation.”
“I am the only son of my mother . . . we are poor people and cannot of course repay you, and we are quite ashamed, doctor, although, however, mamma and I . . . the only son of my mother, earnestly beg you to accept in token of our gratitude . . . this object, which . . . An object of great value, an antique bronze. . . . A rare work of art.”
“I’m my mom’s only son... we’re poor and can’t repay you, and we’re really embarrassed, doctor, but my mom and I... being my mom’s only son, sincerely ask you to accept this... as a token of our gratitude... it’s something really valuable, an antique bronze... a rare piece of art.”
“You shouldn’t!” said the doctor, frowning. “What’s this for!”
“You shouldn’t!” said the doctor, frowning. “What’s this for?”
“No, please do not refuse,” Sasha went on muttering as he unpacked the parcel. “You will wound mamma and me by refusing. . . . It’s a fine thing . . . an antique bronze. . . . It was left us by my deceased father and we have kept it as a precious souvenir. My father used to buy antique bronzes and sell them to connoisseurs . . . Mamma and I keep on the business now.”
“No, please don’t say no,” Sasha continued to mumble as he unpacked the parcel. “You’ll hurt Mom and me if you refuse. . . . It’s a great piece . . . an antique bronze. . . . It was left to us by my late father, and we’ve kept it as a cherished memento. My father used to buy antique bronzes and sell them to collectors . . . Mom and I are carrying on the business now.”
Sasha undid the object and put it solemnly on the table. It was a not very tall candelabra of old bronze and artistic workmanship. It consisted of a group: on the pedestal stood two female figures in the costume of Eve and in attitudes for the description of which I have neither the courage nor the fitting temperament. The figures were smiling coquettishly and altogether looked as though, had it not been for the necessity of supporting the candlestick, they would have skipped off the pedestal and have indulged in an orgy such as is improper for the reader even to imagine.
Sasha took apart the object and placed it seriously on the table. It was a not very tall candelabra made of old bronze with artistic craftsmanship. It featured two female figures on the pedestal, dressed as Eve, in poses that I don’t have the courage or the right mindset to describe. The figures were smiling playfully and looked like, if they didn’t need to support the candlestick, they would have jumped off the pedestal and engaged in a wild celebration that would be inappropriate for the reader to even think about.
Looking at the present, the doctor slowly scratched behind his ear, cleared his throat and blew his nose irresolutely.
Looking at the present, the doctor slowly scratched behind his ear, cleared his throat, and blew his nose uncertainly.
“Yes, it certainly is a fine thing,” he muttered, “but . . . how shall I express it? . . . it’s . . . h’m . . . it’s not quite for family reading. It’s not simply decolleté but beyond anything, dash it all. . . .”
“Yes, it definitely is nice,” he mumbled, “but . . . how should I put it? . . . it’s . . . h’m . . . it’s not really something for the family to read. It’s not just revealing; it’s way beyond that, damn it all. . . .”
“How do you mean?”
"What do you mean?"
“The serpent-tempter himself could not have invented anything worse . . . . Why, to put such a phantasmagoria on the table would be defiling the whole flat.”
“The serpent-tempter himself couldn't have come up with anything worse . . . . Why, putting such a bizarre spectacle on the table would be ruining the entire place.”
“What a strange way of looking at art, doctor!” said Sasha, offended. “Why, it is an artistic thing, look at it! There is so much beauty and elegance that it fills one’s soul with a feeling of reverence and brings a lump into one’s throat! When one sees anything so beautiful one forgets everything earthly. . . . Only look, how much movement, what an atmosphere, what expression!”
“What a weird way to look at art, doctor!” Sasha exclaimed, offended. “It's such a beautiful piece—just look at it! The beauty and elegance fill your soul with a sense of awe and make you choke up! When you see something this beautiful, you forget all about the earthly stuff... Just look at all the movement, the vibe, the expression!”
“I understand all that very well, my dear boy,” the doctor interposed, “but you know I am a family man, my children run in here, ladies come in.”
“I get all that, my dear boy,” the doctor interrupted, “but you know I'm a family guy; my kids come running in here, and ladies come by.”
“Of course if you look at it from the point of view of the crowd,” said Sasha, “then this exquisitely artistic work may appear in a certain light. . . . But, doctor, rise superior to the crowd, especially as you will wound mamma and me by refusing it. I am the only son of my mother, you have saved my life. . . . We are giving you the thing most precious to us and . . . and I only regret that I have not the pair to present to you. . . .”
“Of course, if you look at it from the crowd's perspective,” said Sasha, “this beautifully artistic work might seem a certain way. . . . But, doctor, you should rise above the crowd, especially since refusing it would hurt my mom and me. I’m my mother’s only son, and you saved my life. . . . We are offering you something most precious to us and . . . and I just wish I could give you a matching piece to go with it. . . .”
“Thank you, my dear fellow, I am very grateful . . . Give my respects to your mother but really consider, my children run in here, ladies come. . . . However, let it remain! I see there’s no arguing with you.”
“Thanks, my friend, I really appreciate it... Please say hi to your mom for me, but honestly, my kids come running in here, ladies show up... Anyway, let’s leave it at that! I can see there’s no point in arguing with you.”
“And there is nothing to argue about,” said Sasha, relieved. “Put the candlestick here, by this vase. What a pity we have not the pair to it! It is a pity! Well, good-bye, doctor.”
“And there’s nothing to argue about,” said Sasha, feeling relieved. “Put the candlestick here, next to this vase. What a shame we don’t have the matching one! It really is a shame! Well, goodbye, doctor.”
After Sasha’s departure the doctor looked for a long time at the candelabra, scratched behind his ear and meditated.
After Sasha left, the doctor stared at the candelabra for a long time, scratched behind his ear, and thought.
“It’s a superb thing, there’s no denying it,” he thought, “and it would be a pity to throw it away. . . . But it’s impossible for me to keep it. . . . H’m! . . . Here’s a problem! To whom can I make a present of it, or to what charity can I give it?”
“It’s an amazing thing, there’s no doubt about it,” he thought, “and it would be a shame to waste it. . . . But I can’t keep it. . . . H’m! . . . Here’s a dilemma! Who can I give it to, or which charity can I donate it to?”
After long meditation he thought of his good friend, the lawyer Uhov, to whom he was indebted for the management of legal business.
After thinking for a long time, he recalled his good friend, the lawyer Uhov, who was responsible for handling his legal matters.
“Excellent,” the doctor decided, “it would be awkward for him as a friend to take money from me, and it will be very suitable for me to present him with this. I will take him the devilish thing! Luckily he is a bachelor and easy-going.”
“Great,” the doctor concluded, “it would be uncomfortable for him as a friend to accept money from me, and it will be perfect for me to give him this. I’ll bring him the damn thing! Fortunately, he’s a bachelor and laid-back.”
Without further procrastination the doctor put on his hat and coat, took the candelabra and went off to Uhov’s.
Without wasting any more time, the doctor put on his hat and coat, grabbed the candelabra, and headed over to Uhov’s.
“How are you, friend!” he said, finding the lawyer at home. “I’ve come to see you . . . to thank you for your efforts. . . . You won’t take money so you must at least accept this thing here. . . . See, my dear fellow. . . . The thing is magnificent!”
“How’s it going, my friend!” he said, finding the lawyer at home. “I came to see you . . . to thank you for everything you’ve done. . . . You won’t accept payment, so you have to at least take this gift. . . . Look, my good man. . . . This is amazing!”
On seeing the bronze the lawyer was moved to indescribable delight.
Upon seeing the bronze, the lawyer was filled with indescribable joy.
“What a specimen!” he chuckled. “Ah, deuce take it, to think of them imagining such a thing, the devils! Exquisite! Ravishing! Where did you get hold of such a delightful thing?”
“What a specimen!” he laughed. “Oh, darn it, to think they could imagine something like this, those devils! Amazing! Stunning! Where did you find such a delightful thing?”
After pouring out his ecstasies the lawyer looked timidly towards the door and said: “Only you must carry off your present, my boy . . . . I can’t take it. . . .”
After expressing his excitement, the lawyer looked nervously at the door and said, “Just make sure you take your gift with you, my boy . . . . I can’t accept it. . . .”
“Why?” cried the doctor, disconcerted.
“Why?” shouted the doctor, confused.
“Why . . . because my mother is here at times, my clients . . . besides I should be ashamed for my servants to see it.”
“Why... because my mom is here sometimes, my clients... besides, I should be embarrassed for my staff to see it.”
“Nonsense! Nonsense! Don’t you dare to refuse!” said the doctor, gesticulating. “It’s piggish of you! It’s a work of art! . . . What movement . . . what expression! I won’t even talk of it! You will offend me!”
“Ridiculous! Ridiculous! Don’t you dare refuse!” said the doctor, waving his hands. “It’s selfish of you! It’s a masterpiece! . . . What movement . . . what expression! I won’t even discuss it! You’ll hurt my feelings!”
“If one could plaster it over or stick on fig-leaves . . .”
“If you could cover it up or stick on fig leaves . . .”
But the doctor gesticulated more violently than before, and dashing out of the flat went home, glad that he had succeeded in getting the present off his hands.
But the doctor waved his arms more aggressively than before, and rushing out of the apartment, he went home, relieved that he had managed to get the gift off his hands.
When he had gone away the lawyer examined the candelabra, fingered it all over, and then, like the doctor, racked his brains over the question what to do with the present.
When he left, the lawyer checked out the candelabra, touched it all over, and then, like the doctor, struggled to figure out what to do with the gift.
“It’s a fine thing,” he mused, “and it would be a pity to throw it away and improper to keep it. The very best thing would be to make a present of it to someone. . . . I know what! I’ll take it this evening to Shashkin, the comedian. The rascal is fond of such things, and by the way it is his benefit tonight.”
“It’s a nice thing,” he thought, “and it would be a shame to throw it away and wrong to keep it. The best idea would be to give it as a gift to someone. . . . I know! I’ll take it to Shashkin, the comedian, tonight. He loves stuff like this, and by the way, it’s his benefit performance this evening.”
No sooner said than done. In the evening the candelabra, carefully wrapped up, was duly carried to Shashkin’s. The whole evening the comic actor’s dressing-room was besieged by men coming to admire the present; the dressing-room was filled with the hum of enthusiasm and laughter like the neighing of horses. If one of the actresses approached the door and asked: “May I come in?” the comedian’s husky voice was heard at once: “No, no, my dear, I am not dressed!”
No sooner said than done. In the evening, the candelabra, carefully wrapped up, was taken to Shashkin’s. All evening, the comic actor’s dressing room was crowded with people coming to admire the gift; it was filled with the buzz of excitement and laughter like the sound of horses neighing. If one of the actresses approached the door and asked, “Can I come in?” the comedian’s hoarse voice immediately replied, “No, no, my dear, I’m not dressed!”
After the performance the comedian shrugged his shoulders, flung up his hands and said: “Well what am I to do with the horrid thing? Why, I live in a private flat! Actresses come and see me! It’s not a photograph that you can put in a drawer!”
After the show, the comedian shrugged his shoulders, threw up his hands, and said: “What am I supposed to do with this awful thing? I live in a private apartment! Actresses come to visit me! It’s not a photo that you can just stick in a drawer!”
“You had better sell it, sir,” the hairdresser who was disrobing the actor advised him. “There’s an old woman living about here who buys antique bronzes. Go and enquire for Madame Smirnov . . . everyone knows her.”
“You should really sell it, sir,” the hairdresser, who was getting the actor ready, suggested. “There’s an older woman around here who buys antique bronzes. Go ask about Madame Smirnov... everyone knows her.”
The actor followed his advice. . . . Two days later the doctor was sitting in his consulting-room, and with his finger to his brow was meditating on the acids of the bile. All at once the door opened and Sasha Smirnov flew into the room. He was smiling, beaming, and his whole figure was radiant with happiness. In his hands he held something wrapped up in newspaper.
The actor took his advice. Two days later, the doctor was sitting in his office, thoughtfully tapping his finger to his brow as he considered the bile acids. Suddenly, the door swung open and Sasha Smirnov rushed into the room. He was smiling, glowing, and his entire presence radiated happiness. In his hands, he held something wrapped in newspaper.
“Doctor!” he began breathlessly, “imagine my delight! Happily for you we have succeeded in picking up the pair to your candelabra! Mamma is so happy. . . . I am the only son of my mother, you saved my life. . . .”
“Doctor!” he started, breathless, “you won’t believe how thrilled I am! Luckily for you, we managed to find the matching pair for your candelabra! Mom is so happy... I’m my mother's only son, and you saved my life...”
And Sasha, all of a tremor with gratitude, set the candelabra before the doctor. The doctor opened his mouth, tried to say something, but said nothing: he could not speak.
And Sasha, filled with gratitude, placed the candelabra in front of the doctor. The doctor opened his mouth, attempted to say something, but couldn’t find the words: he was speechless.
A JOKE
IT was a bright winter midday. . . . There was a sharp snapping frost and the curls on Nadenka’s temples and the down on her upper lip were covered with silvery frost. She was holding my arm and we were standing on a high hill. From where we stood to the ground below there stretched a smooth sloping descent in which the sun was reflected as in a looking-glass. Beside us was a little sledge lined with bright red cloth.
It was a bright winter afternoon. . . . There was a sharp, biting frost, and the curls on Nadenka’s temples and the fine hair on her upper lip were covered in silvery frost. She was holding my arm, and we were standing on a high hill. From where we stood, a smooth slope stretched down to the ground below, with the sun reflecting off it like a mirror. Next to us was a small sled lined with bright red fabric.
“Let us go down, Nadyezhda Petrovna!” I besought her. “Only once! I assure you we shall be all right and not hurt.”
“Let’s go down, Nadyezhda Petrovna!” I begged her. “Just this once! I promise we’ll be fine and won’t get hurt.”
But Nadenka was afraid. The slope from her little goloshes to the bottom of the ice hill seemed to her a terrible, immensely deep abyss. Her spirit failed her, and she held her breath as she looked down, when I merely suggested her getting into the sledge, but what would it be if she were to risk flying into the abyss! She would die, she would go out of her mind.
But Nadenka was scared. The incline from her little boots to the bottom of the ice hill felt like a terrifying, bottomless pit to her. She lost her courage and held her breath as she looked down, even when I just suggested she get into the sledge. Just imagining the risk of flying into the abyss made her panic! She would die; she would lose her mind.
“I entreat you!” I said. “You mustn’t be afraid! You know it’s poor-spirited, it’s cowardly!”
“I beg you!” I said. “You can’t be scared! You know it’s weak-minded, it’s cowardly!”
Nadenka gave way at last, and from her face I saw that she gave way in mortal dread. I sat her in the sledge, pale and trembling, put my arm round her and with her cast myself down the precipice.
Nadenka finally relented, and from her expression, I could tell she was terrified. I helped her into the sled, pale and shaking, wrapped my arm around her, and together we plunged down the cliff.
The sledge flew like a bullet. The air cleft by our flight beat in our faces, roared, whistled in our ears, tore at us, nipped us cruelly in its anger, tried to tear our heads off our shoulders. We had hardly strength to breathe from the pressure of the wind. It seemed as though the devil himself had caught us in his claws and was dragging us with a roar to hell. Surrounding objects melted into one long furiously racing streak . . . another moment and it seemed we should perish.
The sled shot forward like a bullet. The air split by our speed hit our faces, roared and whistled in our ears, clawed at us, and bit us hard in its fury, trying to rip our heads from our shoulders. We could barely breathe from the force of the wind. It felt like the devil himself had grabbed us in his claws and was pulling us with a roar to hell. Everything around us blurred into one long, frantically racing streak... in another moment, it felt like we would meet our end.
“I love you, Nadya!” I said in a low voice.
“I love you, Nadya!” I said quietly.
The sledge began moving more and more slowly, the roar of the wind and the whirr of the runners was no longer so terrible, it was easier to breathe, and at last we were at the bottom. Nadenka was more dead than alive. She was pale and scarcely breathing. . . . I helped her to get up.
The sled started to move slower and slower, the howling wind and the sound of the runners weren't as overwhelming anymore, it was easier to breathe, and finally, we reached the bottom. Nadenka was more dead than alive. She was pale and barely breathing. . . . I helped her get up.
“Nothing would induce me to go again,” she said, looking at me with wide eyes full of horror. “Nothing in the world! I almost died!”
“There's no way I’m going back,” she said, staring at me with wide, terrified eyes. “Absolutely nothing in the world! I nearly died!”
A little later she recovered herself and looked enquiringly into my eyes, wondering had I really uttered those four words or had she fancied them in the roar of the hurricane. And I stood beside her smoking and looking attentively at my glove.
A little later, she collected herself and looked questioningly into my eyes, wondering if I had truly said those four words or if she had imagined them in the roar of the hurricane. I stood next to her, smoking and focused on my glove.
She took my arm and we spent a long while walking near the ice-hill. The riddle evidently would not let her rest. . . . Had those words been uttered or not? . . . Yes or no? Yes or no? It was the question of pride, or honour, of life—a very important question, the most important question in the world. Nadenka kept impatiently, sorrowfully looking into my face with a penetrating glance; she answered at random, waiting to see whether I would not speak. Oh, the play of feeling on that sweet face! I saw that she was struggling with herself, that she wanted to say something, to ask some question, but she could not find the words; she felt awkward and frightened and troubled by her joy. . . .
She took my arm, and we spent a long time walking near the ice-hill. The riddle was clearly bothering her. . . . Had those words been said or not? . . . Yes or no? Yes or no? It was a matter of pride, of honor, of life—a very important question, the most important question in the world. Nadenka kept looking into my face with an intense gaze, impatient and sad; she answered randomly, hoping that I would speak first. Oh, the expression of emotions on that lovely face! I could see she was fighting with herself, wanting to say something, to ask a question, but she couldn’t find the words; she felt awkward, scared, and overwhelmed by her happiness. . . .
“Do you know what,” she said without looking at me.
“Do you know what,” she said without looking at me.
“Well?” I asked.
"Well?" I asked.
“Let us . . . slide down again.”
“Let’s . . . slide down again.”
We clambered up the ice-hill by the steps again. I sat Nadenka, pale and trembling, in the sledge; again we flew into the terrible abyss, again the wind roared and the runners whirred, and again when the flight of our sledge was at its swiftest and noisiest, I said in a low voice:
We scrambled up the icy hill by the steps again. I sat Nadenka, pale and trembling, in the sled; once more we plunged into the terrifying abyss, the wind howling and the runners buzzing, and again when our sled was moving the fastest and loudest, I spoke softly:
“I love you, Nadenka!”
“I love you, Nadenka!”
When the sledge stopped, Nadenka flung a glance at the hill down which we had both slid, then bent a long look upon my face, listened to my voice which was unconcerned and passionless, and the whole of her little figure, every bit of it, even her muff and her hood expressed the utmost bewilderment, and on her face was written: “What does it mean? Who uttered those words? Did he, or did I only fancy it?”
When the sled came to a stop, Nadenka glanced at the hill we had both come down, then looked intently at my face, listened to my voice that was calm and without emotion, and the entirety of her small frame, every part of it, even her muff and her hood, showed complete confusion. Her face clearly conveyed: “What does this mean? Who said those words? Did he, or was it just my imagination?”
The uncertainty worried her and drove her out of all patience. The poor girl did not answer my questions, frowned, and was on the point of tears.
The uncertainty stressed her out and pushed her to the limit. The poor girl didn’t respond to my questions, frowned, and was about to cry.
“Hadn’t we better go home?” I asked.
“Shouldn't we head home?” I asked.
“Well, I . . . I like this tobogganning,” she said, flushing. “Shall we go down once more?”
“Well, I . . . I really enjoy this tobogganing,” she said, blushing. “Should we go down again?”
She “liked” the tobogganning, and yet as she got into the sledge she was, as both times before, pale, trembling, hardly able to breathe for terror.
She “liked” to go tobogganing, but as she got into the sled, she was, like the previous times, pale, trembling, and barely able to breathe from fear.
We went down for the third time, and I saw she was looking at my face and watching my lips. But I put my handkerchief to my lips, coughed, and when we reached the middle of the hill I succeeded in bringing out:
We went down for the third time, and I noticed she was staring at my face and watching my lips. But I covered my lips with my handkerchief, coughed, and when we got to the middle of the hill, I managed to say:
“I love you, Nadya!”
“I love you, Nadya!”
And the mystery remained a mystery! Nadenka was silent, pondering on something. . . . I saw her home, she tried to walk slowly, slackened her pace and kept waiting to see whether I would not say those words to her, and I saw how her soul was suffering, what effort she was making not to say to herself:
And the mystery stayed a mystery! Nadenka was quiet, lost in thought... I walked her home; she tried to take her time, slowed down, and kept looking to see if I would say those words to her. I could see how much her heart was aching and the struggle she was facing not to admit to herself:
“It cannot be that the wind said them! And I don’t want it to be the wind that said them!”
“It can’t be that the wind told them! And I don’t want it to be the wind that told them!”
Next morning I got a little note:
Next morning I received a short note:
“If you are tobogganning to-day, come for me.—N.”
“If you’re tobogganing today, come get me.—N.”
And from that time I began going every day tobogganning with Nadenka, and as we flew down in the sledge, every time I pronounced in a low voice the same words: “I love you, Nadya!”
And from that time on, I started going tobogganing with Nadenka every day, and as we sped down the slope in the sled, I whispered the same words each time: “I love you, Nadya!”
Soon Nadenka grew used to that phrase as to alcohol or morphia. She could not live without it. It is true that flying down the ice-hill terrified her as before, but now the terror and danger gave a peculiar fascination to words of love—words which as before were a mystery and tantalized the soul. The same two—the wind and I were still suspected. . . . Which of the two was making love to her she did not know, but apparently by now she did not care; from which goblet one drinks matters little if only the beverage is intoxicating.
Soon Nadenka got used to that phrase like she would to alcohol or morphine. She couldn’t live without it. It's true that speeding down the ice-hill still scared her, but now the fear and danger added a strange excitement to words of love—words that were still a mystery and teased the soul. The same two—the wind and I were still suspected... Which of the two was wooing her, she didn’t know, but it seemed by now she didn’t care; it doesn't matter from which goblet one drinks as long as the drink is intoxicating.
It happened I went to the skating-ground alone at midday; mingling with the crowd I saw Nadenka go up to the ice-hill and look about for me . . . then she timidly mounted the steps. . . . She was frightened of going alone—oh, how frightened! She was white as the snow, she was trembling, she went as though to the scaffold, but she went, she went without looking back, resolutely. She had evidently determined to put it to the test at last: would those sweet amazing words be heard when I was not there? I saw her, pale, her lips parted with horror, get into the sledge, shut her eyes and saying good-bye for ever to the earth, set off. . . . “Whrrr!” whirred the runners. Whether Nadenka heard those words I do not know. I only saw her getting up from the sledge looking faint and exhausted. And one could tell from her face that she could not tell herself whether she had heard anything or not. Her terror while she had been flying down had deprived of her all power of hearing, of discriminating sounds, of understanding.
I went to the skating rink alone at noon, and while mingling with the crowd, I saw Nadenka head towards the ice hill, looking around for me… then she nervously climbed the steps… She was scared to go up alone—oh, so scared! She was as pale as the snow, trembling, moving like she was walking to her execution, but she kept going, determined. She must have decided to finally find out: would those sweet, amazing words be heard when I wasn't there? I watched her, pale and her lips parted in horror, get into the sled, shut her eyes, and, saying goodbye forever to the ground, took off… “Whrrr!” the runners whipped across the ice. I don’t know if Nadenka heard those words. All I saw was her getting up from the sled, looking faint and exhausted. From her expression, you could tell she couldn’t even figure out if she had heard anything or not. The fear she felt while speeding down the hill had completely robbed her of her ability to hear, to distinguish sounds, to understand.
But then the month of March arrived . . . the spring sunshine was more kindly. . . . Our ice-hill turned dark, lost its brilliance and finally melted. We gave up tobogganning. There was nowhere now where poor Nadenka could hear those words, and indeed no one to utter them, since there was no wind and I was going to Petersburg—for long, perhaps for ever.
But then March came... the spring sunshine was warmer... Our ice hill turned dark, lost its shine, and finally melted. We stopped tobogganing. There was nowhere for poor Nadenka to hear those words, and no one to say them, since there was no wind and I was heading to Petersburg—for a long time, maybe forever.
It happened two days before my departure I was sitting in the dusk in the little garden which was separated from the yard of Nadenka’s house by a high fence with nails in it. . . . It was still pretty cold, there was still snow by the manure heap, the trees looked dead but there was already the scent of spring and the rooks were cawing loudly as they settled for their night’s rest. I went up to the fence and stood for a long while peeping through a chink. I saw Nadenka come out into the porch and fix a mournful yearning gaze on the sky. . . . The spring wind was blowing straight into her pale dejected face. . . . It reminded her of the wind which roared at us on the ice-hill when she heard those four words, and her face became very, very sorrowful, a tear trickled down her cheek, and the poor child held out both arms as though begging the wind to bring her those words once more. And waiting for the wind I said in a low voice:
It happened two days before I was set to leave. I was sitting in the dim light of the little garden that was separated from Nadenka’s yard by a tall, nail-studded fence. It was still pretty cold; there was snow by the manure pile, and the trees looked lifeless, but the smell of spring was already in the air, and the rooks were cawing loudly as they settled down for the night. I walked over to the fence and stood there for a long time, peering through a gap. I saw Nadenka step out onto the porch, looking up at the sky with a sad, yearning expression. The spring wind was blowing directly onto her pale, downcast face. It reminded her of the wind that howled at us on the ice hill when she heard those four words, and her face turned extremely sorrowful, a tear rolling down her cheek. The poor girl stretched out both arms, almost as if pleading with the wind to bring her those words back again. As I waited for the wind, I whispered:
“I love you, Nadya!”
“I love you, Nadya!”
Mercy! The change that came over Nadenka! She uttered a cry, smiled all over her face and looking joyful, happy and beautiful, held out her arms to meet the wind.
Mercy! The transformation in Nadenka! She let out a cry, smiled widely, and looking joyful, happy, and beautiful, stretched out her arms to greet the wind.
And I went off to pack up. . . .
And I went off to pack up. . . .
That was long ago. Now Nadenka is married; she married—whether of her own choice or not does not matter—a secretary of the Nobility Wardenship and now she has three children. That we once went tobogganning together, and that the wind brought her the words “I love you, Nadenka,” is not forgotten; it is for her now the happiest, most touching, and beautiful memory in her life. . . .
That was a long time ago. Now Nadenka is married; she married—whether by her own choice or not doesn’t matter—a secretary from the Nobility Wardenship, and now she has three kids. That we once went tobogganing together, and that the wind carried the words “I love you, Nadenka” to her is not forgotten; it is now the happiest, most touching, and beautiful memory of her life. . . .
But now that I am older I cannot understand why I uttered those words, what was my motive in that joke. . . .
But now that I'm older, I can't understand why I said those words, what my motive was in that joke...
A COUNTRY COTTAGE
Two young people who had not long been married were walking up and down the platform of a little country station. His arm was round her waist, her head was almost on his shoulder, and both were happy.
Two young people who had recently gotten married were strolling back and forth on the platform of a small country station. His arm was around her waist, her head was nearly resting on his shoulder, and both were happy.
The moon peeped up from the drifting cloudlets and frowned, as it seemed, envying their happiness and regretting her tedious and utterly superfluous virginity. The still air was heavy with the fragrance of lilac and wild cherry. Somewhere in the distance beyond the line a corncrake was calling.
The moon peeked out from the passing clouds and seemed to frown, as if envying their joy and regretting her boring and completely unnecessary virginity. The calm air was thick with the scent of lilac and wild cherry. Somewhere in the distance, a corncrake was calling beyond the horizon.
“How beautiful it is, Sasha, how beautiful!” murmured the young wife. “It all seems like a dream. See, how sweet and inviting that little copse looks! How nice those solid, silent telegraph posts are! They add a special note to the landscape, suggesting humanity, civilization in the distance. . . . Don’t you think it’s lovely when the wind brings the rushing sound of a train?”
“How beautiful it is, Sasha, how beautiful!” whispered the young wife. “It all feels like a dream. Look how sweet and inviting that little grove is! Those sturdy, quiet telegraph poles are so nice! They add a special touch to the scenery, hinting at humanity and civilization in the distance... Don’t you think it’s lovely when the wind carries the sound of a train rushing by?”
“Yes. . . . But what hot little hands you’ve got. . . That’s because you’re excited, Varya. . . . What have you got for our supper to-night?”
“Yes. . . . But you have really warm hands. . . That’s because you’re excited, Varya. . . . What are we having for dinner tonight?”
“Chicken and salad. . . . It’s a chicken just big enough for two . . . . Then there is the salmon and sardines that were sent from town.”
“Chicken and salad... It's a chicken just big enough for two... Then there's the salmon and sardines that were sent from town.”
The moon as though she had taken a pinch of snuff hid her face behind a cloud. Human happiness reminded her of her own loneliness, of her solitary couch beyond the hills and dales.
The moon, like she had taken a pinch of snuff, hid her face behind a cloud. Human happiness made her think of her own loneliness, of her lonely couch beyond the hills and valleys.
“The train is coming!” said Varya, “how jolly!”
“The train is coming!” Varya exclaimed, “how exciting!”
Three eyes of fire could be seen in the distance. The stationmaster came out on the platform. Signal lights flashed here and there on the line.
Three fiery eyes could be seen in the distance. The stationmaster stepped out onto the platform. Signal lights flashed on and off along the tracks.
“Let’s see the train in and go home,” said Sasha, yawning. “What a splendid time we are having together, Varya, it’s so splendid, one can hardly believe it’s true!”
“Let’s watch the train come in and head home,” said Sasha, yawning. “What a great time we’re having, Varya; it’s so amazing, it’s almost hard to believe it’s real!”
The dark monster crept noiselessly alongside the platform and came to a standstill. They caught glimpses of sleepy faces, of hats and shoulders at the dimly lighted windows.
The dark monster moved silently along the platform and stopped. They caught sight of sleepy faces, hats, and shoulders at the dimly lit windows.
“Look! look!” they heard from one of the carriages. “Varya and Sasha have come to meet us! There they are! . . . Varya! . . . Varya. . . . Look!”
“Look! Look!” they heard from one of the carriages. “Varya and Sasha have come to meet us! There they are! . . . Varya! . . . Varya. . . . Look!”
Two little girls skipped out of the train and hung on Varya’s neck. They were followed by a stout, middle-aged lady, and a tall, lanky gentleman with grey whiskers; behind them came two schoolboys, laden with bags, and after the schoolboys, the governess, after the governess the grandmother.
Two little girls hopped off the train and clung to Varya's neck. They were followed by a plump, middle-aged woman and a tall, skinny man with gray whiskers; behind them came two schoolboys carrying bags, and after the schoolboys, the governess, and after the governess the grandmother.
“Here we are, here we are, dear boy!” began the whiskered gentleman, squeezing Sasha’s hand. “Sick of waiting for us, I expect! You have been pitching into your old uncle for not coming down all this time, I daresay! Kolya, Kostya, Nina, Fifa . . . children! Kiss your cousin Sasha! We’re all here, the whole troop of us, just for three or four days. . . . I hope we shan’t be too many for you? You mustn’t let us put you out!”
“Here we are, here we are, dear boy!” began the bearded gentleman, squeezing Sasha’s hand. “I bet you’ve been tired of waiting for us! You’ve probably been giving your old uncle a hard time for not coming down all this while, I suppose! Kolya, Kostya, Nina, Fifa... kids! Give your cousin Sasha a kiss! We’re all here, the whole gang, just for three or four days… I hope we won’t be too much for you? You mustn’t let us inconvenience you!”
At the sight of their uncle and his family, the young couple were horror-stricken. While his uncle talked and kissed them, Sasha had a vision of their little cottage: he and Varya giving up their three little rooms, all the pillows and bedding to their guests; the salmon, the sardines, the chicken all devoured in a single instant; the cousins plucking the flowers in their little garden, spilling the ink, filled the cottage with noise and confusion; his aunt talking continually about her ailments and her papa’s having been Baron von Fintich. . . .
At the sight of their uncle and his family, the young couple was horrified. While his uncle chatted and kissed them, Sasha imagined their little cottage: he and Varya giving up their three small rooms, all the pillows and bedding for their guests; the salmon, the sardines, the chicken all consumed in an instant; the cousins picking flowers from their little garden, creating chaos and noise; his aunt endlessly rambling about her health issues and how her dad was Baron von Fintich...
And Sasha looked almost with hatred at his young wife, and whispered:
And Sasha looked at his young wife with almost hatred, and whispered:
“It’s you they’ve come to see! . . . Damn them!”
“It’s you they’ve come to see! ... Damn them!”
“No, it’s you,” answered Varya, pale with anger. “They’re your relations! they’re not mine!”
“No, it’s you,” Varya replied, pale with anger. “They’re your relatives! They’re not mine!”
And turning to her visitors, she said with a smile of welcome: “Welcome to the cottage!”
And turning to her guests, she said with a friendly smile, “Welcome to the cottage!”
The moon came out again. She seemed to smile, as though she were glad she had no relations. Sasha, turning his head away to hide his angry despairing face, struggled to give a note of cordial welcome to his voice as he said:
The moon appeared again. It looked like she was smiling, as if she was happy to be without any connections. Sasha, turning his head away to hide his angry, despairing expression, tried to sound cheerful as he said:
“It is jolly of you! Welcome to the cottage!”
“It's great to see you! Welcome to the cottage!”
A BLUNDER
ILYA SERGEITCH PEPLOV and his wife Kleopatra Petrovna were standing at the door, listening greedily. On the other side in the little drawing-room a love scene was apparently taking place between two persons: their daughter Natashenka and a teacher of the district school, called Shchupkin.
ILYA SERGEITCH PEPLOV and his wife Kleopatra Petrovna were standing at the door, listening intently. On the other side in the small living room, a romantic moment was apparently unfolding between two people: their daughter Natashenka and a teacher from the local school, named Shchupkin.
“He’s rising!” whispered Peplov, quivering with impatience and rubbing his hands. “Now, Kleopatra, mind; as soon as they begin talking of their feelings, take down the ikon from the wall and we’ll go in and bless them. . . . We’ll catch him. . . . A blessing with an ikon is sacred and binding. . . He couldn’t get out of it, if he brought it into court.”
“He's coming up!” whispered Peplov, shaking with impatience and rubbing his hands. “Now, Kleopatra, listen; as soon as they start discussing their feelings, take the ikon off the wall and we'll go in and bless them. . . . We'll catch him. . . . A blessing with an ikon is sacred and binding. . . He couldn't escape it, even if he brought it to court.”
On the other side of the door this was the conversation:
On the other side of the door, this was the conversation:
“Don’t go on like that!” said Shchupkin, striking a match against his checked trousers. “I never wrote you any letters!”
“Stop that!” said Shchupkin, striking a match against his checked pants. “I never wrote you any letters!”
“I like that! As though I didn’t know your writing!” giggled the girl with an affected shriek, continually peeping at herself in the glass. “I knew it at once! And what a queer man you are! You are a writing master, and you write like a spider! How can you teach writing if you write so badly yourself?”
“I like that! As if I didn’t recognize your writing!” giggled the girl with a fake shriek, constantly glancing at herself in the mirror. “I knew it right away! And what a strange guy you are! You’re a writing teacher, but you write like a spider! How can you teach writing if your own writing is so bad?”
“H’m! . . . That means nothing. The great thing in writing lessons is not the hand one writes, but keeping the boys in order. You hit one on the head with a ruler, make another kneel down. . . . Besides, there’s nothing in handwriting! Nekrassov was an author, but his handwriting’s a disgrace, there’s a specimen of it in his collected works.”
“H’m! . . . That doesn’t mean anything. The important part of teaching writing is not how well you write, but keeping the boys in line. You hit one on the head with a ruler, make another kneel down. . . . Besides, handwriting doesn’t matter! Nekrassov was an author, but his handwriting is terrible; there’s an example of it in his collected works.”
“You are not Nekrassov. . . .” (A sigh). “I should love to marry an author. He’d always be writing poems to me.”
“You're not Nekrassov. . . .” (A sigh). “I would love to marry a writer. He’d always be composing poems for me.”
“I can write you a poem, too, if you like.”
“I can write you a poem, too, if you want.”
“What can you write about?”
“What can you write on?”
“Love—passion—your eyes. You’ll be crazy when you read it. It would draw a tear from a stone! And if I write you a real poem, will you let me kiss your hand?”
“Love—passion—your eyes. You’ll go wild when you read it. It could bring a tear to a stone! And if I write you a real poem, will you let me kiss your hand?”
“That’s nothing much! You can kiss it now if you like.”
“That’s no big deal! You can kiss it now if you want.”
Shchupkin jumped up, and making sheepish eyes, bent over the fat little hand that smelt of egg soap.
Shchupkin jumped up, and with a sheepish look, leaned down over the chubby little hand that smelled of egg soap.
“Take down the ikon,” Peplov whispered in a fluster, pale with excitement, and buttoning his coat as he prodded his wife with his elbow. “Come along, now!”
“Take down the icon,” Peplov whispered anxiously, pale with excitement, as he buttoned his coat and nudged his wife with his elbow. “Come on, let’s go!”
And without a second’s delay Peplov flung open the door.
And without a moment's hesitation, Peplov swung open the door.
“Children,” he muttered, lifting up his arms and blinking tearfully, “the Lord bless you, my children. May you live—be fruitful—and multiply.”
“Kids,” he mumbled, raising his arms and blinking back tears, “may the Lord bless you, my kids. May you live—be fruitful—and multiply.”
“And—and I bless you, too,” the mamma brought out, crying with happiness. “May you be happy, my dear ones! Oh, you are taking from me my only treasure!” she said to Shchupkin. “Love my girl, be good to her. . . .”
“And—I bless you, too,” the mom said, crying with happiness. “May you be happy, my dear ones! Oh, you’re taking my only treasure from me!” she said to Shchupkin. “Love my girl, be good to her. . . .”
Shchupkin’s mouth fell open with amazement and alarm. The parents’ attack was so bold and unexpected that he could not utter a single word.
Shchupkin stood there, astonished and shocked. The parents’ assault was so daring and unexpected that he couldn’t find the words to respond.
“I’m in for it! I’m spliced!” he thought, going limp with horror. “It’s all over with you now, my boy! There’s no escape!”
“I'm done for! I'm finished!” he thought, going limp with dread. “It's all over for you now, my boy! There's no way out!”
And he bowed his head submissively, as though to say, “Take me, I’m vanquished.”
And he lowered his head submissively, as if to say, “Take me, I’m defeated.”
“Ble-blessings on you,” the papa went on, and he, too, shed tears. “Natashenka, my daughter, stand by his side. Kleopatra, give me the ikon.”
“Blessings on you,” the dad continued, and he, too, shed tears. “Natasha, my daughter, stand by his side. Cleopatra, give me the icon.”
But at this point the father suddenly left off weeping, and his face was contorted with anger.
But at that moment, the father suddenly stopped crying, and his face twisted in anger.
“You ninny!” he said angrily to his wife. “You are an idiot! Is that the ikon?”
"You idiot!" he said angrily to his wife. "Are you really that clueless? Is that the icon?"
“Ach, saints alive!”
"Wow, can you believe it!"
What had happened? The writing master raised himself and saw that he was saved; in her flutter the mamma had snatched from the wall the portrait of Lazhetchnikov, the author, in mistake for the ikon. Old Peplov and his wife stood disconcerted in the middle of the room, holding the portrait aloft, not knowing what to do or what to say. The writing master took advantage of the general confusion and slipped away.
What had happened? The writing master got up and realized that he was safe; in her panic, the mom had grabbed the portrait of Lazhetchnikov, the author, thinking it was the ikon. Old Peplov and his wife stood confused in the middle of the room, holding the portrait up, not knowing what to do or say. The writing master seized the moment of chaos and quietly slipped away.
FAT AND THIN
Two friends—one a fat man and the other a thin man—met at the Nikolaevsky station. The fat man had just dined in the station and his greasy lips shone like ripe cherries. He smelt of sherry and fleur d’orange. The thin man had just slipped out of the train and was laden with portmanteaus, bundles, and bandboxes. He smelt of ham and coffee grounds. A thin woman with a long chin, his wife, and a tall schoolboy with one eye screwed up came into view behind his back.
Two friends—one a heavy guy and the other a slim guy—met at the Nikolaevsky station. The heavy guy had just eaten in the station and his greasy lips shone like ripe cherries. He smelled like sherry and fleur d’orange. The slim guy had just stepped off the train and was weighed down with suitcases, bags, and boxes. He smelled like ham and coffee grounds. A thin woman with a long chin, his wife, and a tall schoolboy with one eye squinted appeared behind him.
“Porfiry,” cried the fat man on seeing the thin man. “Is it you? My dear fellow! How many summers, how many winters!”
“Porfiry,” shouted the heavyset man upon seeing the thin man. “Is that you? My dear friend! How many summers and winters it’s been!”
“Holy saints!” cried the thin man in amazement. “Misha! The friend of my childhood! Where have you dropped from?”
“Holy saints!” exclaimed the thin man in surprise. “Misha! The friend from my childhood! Where did you come from?”
The friends kissed each other three times, and gazed at each other with eyes full of tears. Both were agreeably astounded.
The friends kissed each other three times and looked at each other with tear-filled eyes. Both were pleasantly surprised.
“My dear boy!” began the thin man after the kissing. “This is unexpected! This is a surprise! Come have a good look at me! Just as handsome as I used to be! Just as great a darling and a dandy! Good gracious me! Well, and how are you? Made your fortune? Married? I am married as you see. . . . This is my wife Luise, her maiden name was Vantsenbach . . . of the Lutheran persuasion. . . . And this is my son Nafanail, a schoolboy in the third class. This is the friend of my childhood, Nafanya. We were boys at school together!”
“My dear boy!” began the thin man after the kiss. “This is unexpected! What a surprise! Come take a good look at me! Just as handsome as I used to be! Just as charming and stylish! Good gracious! So, how are you? Did you make your fortune? Get married? I am married, as you can see… This is my wife Luise, her maiden name was Vantsenbach… of the Lutheran faith... And this is my son Nafanail, a third grader. This is my childhood friend, Nafanya. We were schoolmates!”
Nafanail thought a little and took off his cap.
Nafanail thought for a moment and took off his hat.
“We were boys at school together,” the thin man went on. “Do you remember how they used to tease you? You were nicknamed Herostratus because you burned a hole in a schoolbook with a cigarette, and I was nicknamed Ephialtes because I was fond of telling tales. Ho—ho! . . . we were children! . . . Don’t be shy, Nafanya. Go nearer to him. And this is my wife, her maiden name was Vantsenbach, of the Lutheran persuasion. . . .”
“We were boys in school together,” the thin man continued. “Do you remember how they used to tease you? They called you Herostratus because you burned a hole in a textbook with a cigarette, and I was called Ephialtes because I loved telling stories. Ha—ha! . . . we were just kids! . . . Don’t be shy, Nafanya. Come closer to him. And this is my wife; her maiden name was Vantsenbach, and she’s of the Lutheran faith. . . .”
Nafanail thought a little and took refuge behind his father’s back.
Nafanail thought for a moment and hid behind his father’s back.
“Well, how are you doing my friend?” the fat man asked, looking enthusiastically at his friend. “Are you in the service? What grade have you reached?”
“Well, how are you doing, my friend?” the chubby man asked, looking excitedly at his friend. “Are you in the military? What rank have you reached?”
“I am, dear boy! I have been a collegiate assessor for the last two years and I have the Stanislav. The salary is poor, but that’s no great matter! The wife gives music lessons, and I go in for carving wooden cigarette cases in a private way. Capital cigarette cases! I sell them for a rouble each. If any one takes ten or more I make a reduction of course. We get along somehow. I served as a clerk, you know, and now I have been transferred here as a head clerk in the same department. I am going to serve here. And what about you? I bet you are a civil councillor by now? Eh?”
“I am, dear boy! I’ve been a college assessor for the last two years, and I have the Stanislav. The pay isn’t great, but that’s not a big deal! My wife gives music lessons, and I make carved wooden cigarette cases on the side. They’re fantastic cigarette cases! I sell them for a rouble each. If someone buys ten or more, I give a discount, of course. We manage to get by somehow. I used to work as a clerk, you know, and now I’ve been promoted to head clerk in the same department. I’m going to work here for a while. And what about you? I bet you’re a civil councillor by now, right?”
“No dear boy, go higher than that,” said the fat man. “I have risen to privy councillor already . . . I have two stars.”
“No, dear boy, aim higher than that,” said the overweight man. “I’ve already risen to privy councillor... I have two stars.”
The thin man turned pale and rigid all at once, but soon his face twisted in all directions in the broadest smile; it seemed as though sparks were flashing from his face and eyes. He squirmed, he doubled together, crumpled up. . . . His portmanteaus, bundles and cardboard boxes seemed to shrink and crumple up too. . . . His wife’s long chin grew longer still; Nafanail drew himself up to attention and fastened all the buttons of his uniform.
The thin man suddenly turned pale and stiff, but then his face broke into a wide grin; it looked like sparks were flying from his face and eyes. He wiggled, bent over, and crumpled up... His suitcases, bundles, and cardboard boxes seemed to shrink and fold up as well... His wife's long chin became even longer; Nafanail straightened up and buttoned all the buttons on his uniform.
“Your Excellency, I . . . delighted! The friend, one may say, of childhood and to have turned into such a great man! He—he!”
“Your Excellency, I… I’m so happy! The friend from my childhood who has grown into such a great man! He—he!”
“Come, come!” the fat man frowned. “What’s this tone for? You and I were friends as boys, and there is no need of this official obsequiousness!”
“Come on!” the fat man frowned. “What’s with this tone? You and I were friends as kids, and there’s no need for all this formal flattery!”
“Merciful heavens, your Excellency! What are you saying. . . ?” sniggered the thin man, wriggling more than ever. “Your Excellency’s gracious attention is like refreshing manna. . . . This, your Excellency, is my son Nafanail, . . . my wife Luise, a Lutheran in a certain sense.”
“Good heavens, your Excellency! What are you talking about...?” snickered the thin man, squirming even more. “Your Excellency’s kind attention is like refreshing manna... This, your Excellency, is my son Nafanail,... my wife Luise, a Lutheran in a way.”
The fat man was about to make some protest, but the face of the thin man wore an expression of such reverence, sugariness, and mawkish respectfulness that the privy councillor was sickened. He turned away from the thin man, giving him his hand at parting.
The overweight man was about to complain, but the thin man's face showed such a look of deep admiration, sweetness, and insincere respect that the privy councillor felt nauseated. He turned away from the thin man, shaking his hand as he said goodbye.
The thin man pressed three fingers, bowed his whole body and sniggered like a Chinaman: “He—he—he!” His wife smiled. Nafanail scraped with his foot and dropped his cap. All three were agreeably overwhelmed.
The skinny guy pressed three fingers, bent his whole body, and chuckled like someone from China: “He—he—he!” His wife smiled. Nafanail shuffled with his foot and dropped his cap. All three were pleasantly taken aback.
THE DEATH OF A GOVERNMENT CLERK
ONE fine evening, a no less fine government clerk called Ivan Dmitritch Tchervyakov was sitting in the second row of the stalls, gazing through an opera glass at the Cloches de Corneville. He gazed and felt at the acme of bliss. But suddenly. . . . In stories one so often meets with this “But suddenly.” The authors are right: life is so full of surprises! But suddenly his face puckered up, his eyes disappeared, his breathing was arrested . . . he took the opera glass from his eyes, bent over and . . . “Aptchee!!” he sneezed as you perceive. It is not reprehensible for anyone to sneeze anywhere. Peasants sneeze and so do police superintendents, and sometimes even privy councillors. All men sneeze. Tchervyakov was not in the least confused, he wiped his face with his handkerchief, and like a polite man, looked round to see whether he had disturbed any one by his sneezing. But then he was overcome with confusion. He saw that an old gentleman sitting in front of him in the first row of the stalls was carefully wiping his bald head and his neck with his glove and muttering something to himself. In the old gentleman, Tchervyakov recognised Brizzhalov, a civilian general serving in the Department of Transport.
ONE fine evening, a rather distinguished government clerk named Ivan Dmitritch Tchervyakov was sitting in the second row of the stalls, looking through binoculars at the Cloches de Corneville. He watched and felt like he was on top of the world. But suddenly… In stories, you often encounter this “But suddenly.” The authors are correct: life is full of surprises! But suddenly his face scrunched up, his eyes disappeared, his breathing stopped… he took the binoculars down, leaned over and… “Aptchee!!” he sneezed, as you can tell. It’s not wrong for anyone to sneeze anywhere. Peasants sneeze, so do police superintendents, and sometimes even privy councillors. Everybody sneezes. Tchervyakov wasn’t embarrassed at all; he wiped his face with his handkerchief and, being polite, looked around to see if he had disturbed anyone with his sneeze. But then he felt a wave of embarrassment. He noticed that an older gentleman sitting in front of him in the first row of the stalls was carefully wiping his bald head and neck with his glove while muttering something to himself. Tchervyakov recognized the older gentleman as Brizzhalov, a civilian general working in the Department of Transport.
“I have spattered him,” thought Tchervyakov, “he is not the head of my department, but still it is awkward. I must apologise.”
“I’ve splattered him,” thought Tchervyakov, “he’s not the head of my department, but it’s still uncomfortable. I need to apologize.”
Tchervyakov gave a cough, bent his whole person forward, and whispered in the general’s ear.
Tchervyakov coughed, leaned forward, and whispered in the general’s ear.
“Pardon, your Excellency, I spattered you accidentally. . . .”
“Sorry, your Excellency, I splashed you by accident. . . .”
“Never mind, never mind.”
"Don't worry about it."
“For goodness sake excuse me, I . . . I did not mean to.”
“For goodness' sake, excuse me, I . . . I didn’t mean to.”
“Oh, please, sit down! let me listen!”
“Oh, please, have a seat! I want to hear what you have to say!”
Tchervyakov was embarrassed, he smiled stupidly and fell to gazing at the stage. He gazed at it but was no longer feeling bliss. He began to be troubled by uneasiness. In the interval, he went up to Brizzhalov, walked beside him, and overcoming his shyness, muttered:
Tchervyakov felt embarrassed, smiled awkwardly, and stared at the stage. He looked at it but no longer felt happiness. A sense of uneasiness started to creep in. During the break, he approached Brizzhalov, walked alongside him, and, pushing through his shyness, muttered:
“I spattered you, your Excellency, forgive me . . . you see . . . I didn’t do it to . . . .”
“I splashed you, Your Excellency, please forgive me . . . you see . . . I didn’t mean to . . . .”
“Oh, that’s enough . . . I’d forgotten it, and you keep on about it!” said the general, moving his lower lip impatiently.
“Oh, that's enough . . . I forgot about it, and you keep going on about it!” said the general, moving his lower lip impatiently.
“He has forgotten, but there is a fiendish light in his eye,” thought Tchervyakov, looking suspiciously at the general. “And he doesn’t want to talk. I ought to explain to him . . . that I really didn’t intend . . . that it is the law of nature or else he will think I meant to spit on him. He doesn’t think so now, but he will think so later!”
“He has forgotten, but there’s a sinister glint in his eye,” thought Tchervyakov, eyeing the general with suspicion. “And he doesn’t want to talk. I should clarify for him… that I really didn’t mean to… that it’s just the way things are, or else he’ll think I meant to insult him. He doesn’t think that now, but he will think that later!”
On getting home, Tchervyakov told his wife of his breach of good manners. It struck him that his wife took too frivolous a view of the incident; she was a little frightened, but when she learned that Brizzhalov was in a different department, she was reassured.
On getting home, Tchervyakov told his wife about his bad manners. It hit him that his wife was being too lighthearted about the incident; she was a bit scared, but when she found out that Brizzhalov worked in a different department, she felt better.
“Still, you had better go and apologise,” she said, “or he will think you don’t know how to behave in public.”
“Still, you should go and apologize,” she said, “or he’ll think you don’t know how to act in public.”
“That’s just it! I did apologise, but he took it somehow queerly . . . he didn’t say a word of sense. There wasn’t time to talk properly.”
"That’s exactly it! I did apologize, but he took it really strangely... he didn’t say anything that made sense. There wasn’t time to have a proper conversation."
Next day Tchervyakov put on a new uniform, had his hair cut and went to Brizzhalov’s to explain; going into the general’s reception room he saw there a number of petitioners and among them the general himself, who was beginning to interview them. After questioning several petitioners the general raised his eyes and looked at Tchervyakov.
The next day, Tchervyakov put on a new uniform, got a haircut, and went to Brizzhalov’s to explain himself. As he entered the general’s reception room, he noticed several petitioners there, including the general himself, who was starting to interview them. After asking a few petitioners questions, the general looked up and spotted Tchervyakov.
“Yesterday at the Arcadia, if you recollect, your Excellency,” the latter began, “I sneezed and . . . accidentally spattered . . . Exc. . . .”
“Yesterday at the Arcadia, if you remember, your Excellency,” the latter began, “I sneezed and… accidentally splattered… Exc…”
“What nonsense. . . . It’s beyond anything! What can I do for you,” said the general addressing the next petitioner.
“What nonsense... It’s unbelievable! What can I do for you?” said the general, addressing the next petitioner.
“He won’t speak,” thought Tchervyakov, turning pale; “that means that he is angry. . . . No, it can’t be left like this. . . . I will explain to him.”
“He won’t talk,” Tchervyakov thought, turning pale; “that means he’s upset. . . . No, this can't stay like this. . . . I need to explain it to him.”
When the general had finished his conversation with the last of the petitioners and was turning towards his inner apartments, Tchervyakov took a step towards him and muttered:
When the general finished talking to the last petitioner and turned toward his private quarters, Tchervyakov took a step forward and mumbled:
“Your Excellency! If I venture to trouble your Excellency, it is simply from a feeling I may say of regret! . . . It was not intentional if you will graciously believe me.”
“Your Excellency! If I may trouble you, it’s simply out of a feeling of regret! . . . I assure you it was not on purpose if you would kindly believe me.”
The general made a lachrymose face, and waved his hand.
The general made a tearful face and waved his hand.
“Why, you are simply making fun of me, sir,” he said as he closed the door behind him.
“Why, you’re just teasing me, sir,” he said as he closed the door behind him.
“Where’s the making fun in it?” thought Tchervyakov, “there is nothing of the sort! He is a general, but he can’t understand. If that is how it is I am not going to apologise to that fanfaron any more! The devil take him. I’ll write a letter to him, but I won’t go. By Jove, I won’t.”
“Where’s the fun in this?” thought Tchervyakov, “there’s none at all! He’s a general, but he just doesn’t get it. If that’s the case, I’m not going to apologize to that show-off anymore! To hell with him. I’ll write him a letter, but I’m not going to go. No way, I won’t.”
So thought Tchervyakov as he walked home; he did not write a letter to the general, he pondered and pondered and could not make up that letter. He had to go next day to explain in person.
So thought Tchervyakov as he walked home; he didn’t write a letter to the general, he thought and thought and couldn’t come up with that letter. He had to go the next day to explain in person.
“I ventured to disturb your Excellency yesterday,” he muttered, when the general lifted enquiring eyes upon him, “not to make fun as you were pleased to say. I was apologising for having spattered you in sneezing. . . . And I did not dream of making fun of you. Should I dare to make fun of you, if we should take to making fun, then there would be no respect for persons, there would be. . . .”
“I took the liberty of bothering you yesterday,” he mumbled, as the general looked at him with questioning eyes, “not to joke around like you said. I was just apologizing for sneezing and getting you splattered. . . . I never meant to make fun of you. If I did dare to joke around, then there would be no respect for anyone, there really would be. . . .”
“Be off!” yelled the general, turning suddenly purple, and shaking all over.
“Get out!” shouted the general, suddenly turning purple and shaking all over.
“What?” asked Tchervyakov, in a whisper turning numb with horror.
“What?” Tchervyakov whispered, feeling numb with horror.
“Be off!” repeated the general, stamping.
“Get out!” the general repeated, stomping.
Something seemed to give way in Tchervyakov’s stomach. Seeing nothing and hearing nothing he reeled to the door, went out into the street, and went staggering along. . . . Reaching home mechanically, without taking off his uniform, he lay down on the sofa and died.
Something felt like it broke inside Tchervyakov’s stomach. Not seeing or hearing anything, he stumbled to the door, stepped out into the street, and staggered along... When he got home, almost automatically, without bothering to take off his uniform, he laid down on the sofa and died.
A PINK STOCKING
A DULL, rainy day. The sky is completely covered with heavy clouds, and there is no prospect of the rain ceasing. Outside sleet, puddles, and drenched jackdaws. Indoors it is half dark, and so cold that one wants the stove heated.
A DULL, rainy day. The sky is fully covered with thick clouds, and there’s no chance of the rain stopping. Outside, there’s sleet, puddles, and soaked jackdaws. Indoors, it’s dim and so chilly that you want the stove on.
Pavel Petrovitch Somov is pacing up and down his study, grumbling at the weather. The tears of rain on the windows and the darkness of the room make him depressed. He is insufferably bored and has nothing to do. . . . The newspapers have not been brought yet; shooting is out of the question, and it is not nearly dinner-time . . . .
Pavel Petrovitch Somov is walking back and forth in his study, complaining about the weather. The raindrops on the windows and the dimness of the room are making him feel down. He is extremely bored and has nothing to occupy his time... The newspapers haven't arrived yet; shooting is not an option, and it's not even close to dinner time...
Somov is not alone in his study. Madame Somov, a pretty little lady in a light blouse and pink stockings, is sitting at his writing table. She is eagerly scribbling a letter. Every time he passes her as he strides up and down, Ivan Petrovitch looks over her shoulder at what she is writing. He sees big sprawling letters, thin and narrow, with all sorts of tails and flourishes. There are numbers of blots, smears, and finger-marks. Madame Somov does not like ruled paper, and every line runs downhill with horrid wriggles as it reaches the margin. . . .
Somov isn't alone in his study. Madame Somov, a pretty little woman in a light blouse and pink stockings, is sitting at his writing desk. She's eagerly writing a letter. Every time he walks by as he paces back and forth, Ivan Petrovitch looks over her shoulder at what she's writing. He sees big, sprawling letters, thin and narrow, with all kinds of tails and flourishes. There are lots of blots, smears, and fingerprints. Madame Somov doesn’t like lined paper, so every line slopes downhill with horrible curves as it reaches the edge. . . .
“Lidotchka, who is it you are writing such a lot to?” Somov inquires, seeing that his wife is just beginning to scribble the sixth page.
“Lidotchka, who are you writing so much to?” Somov asks, noticing that his wife is about to start the sixth page.
“To sister Varya.”
"To Sister Varya."
“Hm . . . it’s a long letter! I’m so bored—let me read it!”
“Hm . . . it’s a long letter! I’m so bored—let me read it!”
“Here, you may read it, but there’s nothing interesting in it.”
“Here, you can read it, but there's nothing interesting in it.”
Somov takes the written pages and, still pacing up and down, begins reading. Lidotchka leans her elbows on the back of her chair and watches the expression of his face. . . . After the first page his face lengthens and an expression of something almost like panic comes into it. . . . At the third page Somov frowns and scratches the back of his head. At the fourth he pauses, looks with a scared face at his wife, and seems to ponder. After thinking a little, he takes up the letter again with a sigh. . . . His face betrays perplexity and even alarm. . . .”
Somov takes the written pages and, still pacing back and forth, starts reading. Lidotchka rests her elbows on the back of her chair and observes his expression. After the first page, his face becomes serious, and he looks almost panicked. By the third page, Somov frowns and scratches the back of his head. At the fourth page, he stops, glances at his wife with a frightened expression, and seems to think deeply. After a moment, he picks up the letter again with a sigh. His face shows confusion and even worry.
“Well, this is beyond anything!” he mutters, as he finishes reading the letter and flings the sheets on the table, “It’s positively incredible!”
“Well, this is unbelievable!” he mutters as he finishes reading the letter and tosses the sheets on the table. “It’s absolutely amazing!”
“What’s the matter?” asks Lidotchka, flustered.
"What's wrong?" asks Lidotchka, stressed.
“What’s the matter! You’ve covered six pages, wasted a good two hours scribbling, and there’s nothing in it at all! If there were one tiny idea! One reads on and on, and one’s brain is as muddled as though one were deciphering the Chinese wriggles on tea chests! Ough!”
“What’s wrong! You’ve filled six pages, spent a good two hours writing, and there’s nothing in it at all! If there was just one tiny idea! You read on and on, and your mind is as confused as if you were trying to make sense of the Chinese characters on tea crates! Ugh!”
“Yes, that’s true, Vanya, . . .” says Lidotchka, reddening. “I wrote it carelessly. . . .”
“Yes, that's true, Vanya, . . .” Lidotchka says, feeling embarrassed. “I wrote it without thinking. . . .”
“Queer sort of carelessness! In a careless letter there is some meaning and style—there is sense in it—while yours . . . excuse me, but I don’t know what to call it! It’s absolute twaddle! There are words and sentences, but not the slightest sense in them. Your whole letter is exactly like the conversation of two boys: ‘We had pancakes to-day! And we had a soldier come to see us!’ You say the same thing over and over again! You drag it out, repeat yourself . . . . The wretched ideas dance about like devils: there’s no making out where anything begins, where anything ends. . . . How can you write like that?”
“Such a strange kind of carelessness! In a careless letter, there’s some meaning and style—there’s sense in it—while yours... excuse me, but I really don’t know what to call it! It’s complete nonsense! There are words and sentences, but not the slightest bit of sense in them. Your whole letter is just like the conversation of two boys: ‘We had pancakes today! And we had a soldier come to see us!’ You keep saying the same thing over and over! You stretch it out, repeat yourself... The awful ideas flit around like demons: it’s impossible to tell where anything starts or ends... How can you write like that?”
“If I had been writing carefully,” Lidotchka says in self defence, “then there would not have been mistakes. . . .”
“If I had been writing carefully,” Lidotchka says in self-defense, “then there wouldn’t have been any mistakes. . . .”
“Oh, I’m not talking about mistakes! The awful grammatical howlers! There’s not a line that’s not a personal insult to grammar! No stops nor commas—and the spelling . . . brrr! ‘Earth’ has an a in it!! And the writing! It’s desperate! I’m not joking, Lida. . . . I’m surprised and appalled at your letter. . . . You mustn’t be angry, darling, but, really, I had no idea you were such a duffer at grammar. . . . And yet you belong to a cultivated, well-educated circle: you are the wife of a University man, and the daughter of a general! Tell me, did you ever go to school?”
“Oh, I’m not talking about mistakes! The terrible grammatical blunders! There’s not a single line that doesn’t insult grammar! No periods or commas—and the spelling... brrr! ‘Earth’ has an a in it!! And the writing! It’s a mess! I’m not joking, Lida... I’m shocked and appalled by your letter... You shouldn’t be upset, darling, but honestly, I had no idea you were so bad at grammar... And yet you come from a cultured, well-educated background: you’re the wife of a university man and the daughter of a general! Tell me, did you ever go to school?”
“What next! I finished at the Von Mebke’s boarding school. . . .”
“What’s next! I finished at the Von Mebke’s boarding school. . .”
Somov shrugs his shoulders and continues to pace up and down, sighing. Lidotchka, conscious of her ignorance and ashamed of it, sighs too and casts down her eyes. . . . Ten minutes pass in silence.
Somov shrugs his shoulders and keeps pacing back and forth, sighing. Lidotchka, aware of her lack of knowledge and embarrassed by it, sighs as well and looks down. . . . Ten minutes go by in silence.
“You know, Lidotchka, it really is awful!” says Somov, suddenly halting in front of her and looking into her face with horror. “You are a mother . . . do you understand? A mother! How can you teach your children if you know nothing yourself? You have a good brain, but what’s the use of it if you have never mastered the very rudiments of knowledge? There—never mind about knowledge . . . the children will get that at school, but, you know, you are very shaky on the moral side too! You sometimes use such language that it makes my ears tingle!”
“You know, Lidotchka, this is really terrible!” Somov says, suddenly stopping in front of her and looking at her with horror. “You’re a mother... do you get that? A mother! How can you teach your kids if you don’t know anything yourself? You have a smart mind, but what’s the point if you’ve never really learned the basics? Forget about knowledge for a second... the kids will pick that up at school, but honestly, you’re also pretty unsure about the moral stuff! Sometimes you use language that makes my ears burn!”
Somov shrugs his shoulders again, wraps himself in the folds of his dressing-gown and continues his pacing. . . . He feels vexed and injured, and at the same time sorry for Lidotchka, who does not protest, but merely blinks. . . . Both feel oppressed and miserable . . . . Absorbed in their woes, they do not notice how time is passing and the dinner hour is approaching.
Somov shrugs his shoulders again, wraps himself in the folds of his dressing gown, and keeps pacing. He feels frustrated and hurt, and at the same time, he feels sorry for Lidotchka, who doesn’t argue but just blinks. Both of them feel heavy and miserable. Caught up in their troubles, they don’t notice how time is flying by and that dinner time is getting closer.
Sitting down to dinner, Somov, who is fond of good eating and of eating in peace, drinks a large glass of vodka and begins talking about something else. Lidotchka listens and assents, but suddenly over the soup her eyes fill with tears and she begins whimpering.
Sitting down for dinner, Somov, who enjoys good food and eating in peace, drinks a big glass of vodka and starts talking about something else. Lidotchka listens and agrees, but suddenly, as she looks at the soup, her eyes fill with tears and she starts to whimper.
“It’s all mother’s fault!” she says, wiping away her tears with her dinner napkin. “Everyone advised her to send me to the high school, and from the high school I should have been sure to go on to the University!”
“It’s all mom's fault!” she says, wiping away her tears with her dinner napkin. “Everyone told her to send me to high school, and from high school, I definitely should have gone on to university!”
“University . . . high school,” mutters Somov. “That’s running to extremes, my girl! What’s the good of being a blue stocking! A blue stocking is the very deuce! Neither man nor woman, but just something midway: neither one thing nor another. . . I hate blue stockings! I would never have married a learned woman. . . .”
“University… high school,” Somov mutters. “That’s going to extremes, my girl! What’s the point of being a blue stocking? A blue stocking is the worst! Neither man nor woman, just something in between: not really one thing or the other. I hate blue stockings! I would never have married an educated woman…”
“There’s no making you out . . .”, says Lidotchka. “You are angry because I am not learned, and at the same time you hate learned women; you are annoyed because I have no ideas in my letter, and yet you yourself are opposed to my studying. . . .”
“There’s no figuring you out . . .,” Lidotchka says. “You’re upset because I’m not educated, and yet you also despise educated women; you’re frustrated because my letter has no ideas, and yet you’re against me studying. . . .”
“You do catch me up at a word, my dear,” yawns Somov, pouring out a second glass of vodka in his boredom.
“You really get me with just one word, my dear,” yawns Somov, pouring another glass of vodka out of boredom.
Under the influence of vodka and a good dinner, Somov grows more good-humoured, lively, and soft. . . . He watches his pretty wife making the salad with an anxious face and a rush of affection for her, of indulgence and forgiveness comes over him.
Under the influence of vodka and a good dinner, Somov becomes more cheerful, lively, and gentle. . . . He watches his beautiful wife making the salad with a worried expression, and a wave of affection for her, along with a feeling of tolerance and forgiveness, washes over him.
“It was stupid of me to depress her, poor girl . . . ,” he thought. “Why did I say such a lot of dreadful things? She is silly, that’s true, uncivilised and narrow; but . . . there are two sides to the question, and audiatur et altera pars. . . . Perhaps people are perfectly right when they say that woman’s shallowness rests on her very vocation. Granted that it is her vocation to love her husband, to bear children, and to mix salad, what the devil does she want with learning? No, indeed!”
“It was stupid of me to upset her, poor girl . . . ,” he thought. “Why did I say so many awful things? She is silly, that’s true, unrefined and narrow-minded; but . . . there are two sides to the issue, and audiatur et altera pars. . . . Maybe people are completely right when they say that a woman’s shallowness comes from her very role. Sure, it’s her role to love her husband, have kids, and make salad, but what on earth does she need learning for? No, really!”
At that point he remembers that learned women are usually tedious, that they are exacting, strict, and unyielding; and, on the other hand, how easy it is to get on with silly Lidotchka, who never pokes her nose into anything, does not understand so much, and never obtrudes her criticism. There is peace and comfort with Lidotchka, and no risk of being interfered with.
At that moment, he recalls that educated women can often be boring, that they tend to be demanding, strict, and uncompromising; and, on the flip side, how easy it is to get along with silly Lidotchka, who never sticks her nose into anything, doesn't understand much, and never imposes her opinions. There's a sense of peace and comfort with Lidotchka, with no worry about being interrupted.
“Confound them, those clever and learned women! It’s better and easier to live with simple ones,” he thinks, as he takes a plate of chicken from Lidotchka.
“Damn those smart and educated women! It’s better and easier to be around simple ones,” he thinks, as he takes a plate of chicken from Lidotchka.
He recollects that a civilised man sometimes feels a desire to talk and share his thoughts with a clever and well-educated woman. “What of it?” thinks Somov. “If I want to talk of intellectual subjects, I’ll go to Natalya Andreyevna . . . or to Marya Frantsovna. . . . It’s very simple! But no, I shan’t go. One can discuss intellectual subjects with men,” he finally decides.
He remembers that a civilized man sometimes wants to chat and share his thoughts with a smart, well-educated woman. “So what?” Somov thinks. “If I want to discuss intellectual topics, I’ll go to Natalya Andreyevna... or to Marya Frantsovna... It’s really simple! But no, I won’t go. I can talk about intellectual topics with men,” he ultimately decides.
AT A SUMMER VILLA
“I LOVE YOU. You are my life, my happiness—everything to me! Forgive the avowal, but I have not the strength to suffer and be silent. I ask not for love in return, but for sympathy. Be at the old arbour at eight o’clock this evening. . . . To sign my name is unnecessary I think, but do not be uneasy at my being anonymous. I am young, nice-looking . . . what more do you want?”
I LOVE YOU. You are my life, my happiness—everything to me! I apologize for being so open about it, but I can't handle suffering in silence. I don't expect love back, just some understanding. Please meet me at the old arbor at eight o’clock this evening. . . . I don't think it's necessary to sign my name, but don't worry about me being anonymous. I'm young, good-looking . . . what else do you need?”
When Pavel Ivanitch Vyhodtsev, a practical married man who was spending his holidays at a summer villa, read this letter, he shrugged his shoulders and scratched his forehead in perplexity.
When Pavel Ivanitch Vyhodtsev, a practical husband who was on vacation at a summer villa, read this letter, he shrugged his shoulders and scratched his forehead in confusion.
“What devilry is this?” he thought. “I’m a married man, and to send me such a queer . . . silly letter! Who wrote it?”
“What kind of nonsense is this?” he thought. “I’m a married man, and to send me such a weird... ridiculous letter! Who wrote it?”
Pavel Ivanitch turned the letter over and over before his eyes, read it through again, and spat with disgust.
Pavel Ivanitch flipped the letter back and forth in front of his eyes, read it again, and spat in disgust.
“‘I love you’” . . . he said jeeringly. “A nice boy she has pitched on! So I’m to run off to meet you in the arbour! . . . I got over all such romances and fleurs d’amour years ago, my girl. . . . Hm! She must be some reckless, immoral creature. . . . Well, these women are a set! What a whirligig—God forgive us!—she must be to write a letter like that to a stranger, and a married man, too! It’s real demoralisation!”
“‘I love you’” . . . he said mockingly. “What a nice guy she’s chosen! So I’m supposed to sneak off to meet you in the garden! . . . I moved past all those kinds of romances and fleurs d’amour years ago, my girl. . . . Hm! She must be some reckless, immoral person. . . . Well, these women are something else! What a whirlwind—God forgive us!—she must be to write a letter like that to a stranger, and a married man at that! It’s just pure demoralization!”
In the course of his eight years of married life Pavel Ivanitch had completely got over all sentimental feeling, and he had received no letters from ladies except letters of congratulation, and so, although he tried to carry it off with disdain, the letter quoted above greatly intrigued and agitated him.
In the eight years of his marriage, Pavel Ivanitch had completely moved past all sentimental feelings, and he hadn’t received any letters from women except for congratulatory notes. So, even though he tried to act indifferent, the letter mentioned above really intrigued and unsettled him.
An hour after receiving it, he was lying on his sofa, thinking:
An hour after getting it, he was lying on his sofa, thinking:
“Of course I am not a silly boy, and I am not going to rush off to this idiotic rendezvous; but yet it would be interesting to know who wrote it! Hm. . . . It is certainly a woman’s writing. . . . The letter is written with genuine feeling, and so it can hardly be a joke. . . . Most likely it’s some neurotic girl, or perhaps a widow . . . widows are frivolous and eccentric as a rule. Hm. . . . Who could it be?”
“Of course I’m not a naive guy, and I’m not rushing off to this ridiculous meeting; but it would be interesting to know who wrote it! Hm... It’s definitely written by a woman... The letter expresses real emotion, so it can’t be a joke... Most likely it’s some overly emotional girl, or maybe a widow... widows are usually a bit quirky and eccentric. Hm... Who could it be?”
What made it the more difficult to decide the question was that Pavel Ivanitch had not one feminine acquaintance among all the summer visitors, except his wife.
What made it even harder to decide the question was that Pavel Ivanitch didn't have a single female acquaintance among all the summer visitors, except for his wife.
“It is queer . . .” he mused. “‘I love you!’. . . When did she manage to fall in love? Amazing woman! To fall in love like this, apropos of nothing, without making any acquaintance and finding out what sort of man I am. . . . She must be extremely young and romantic if she is capable of falling in love after two or three looks at me. . . . But . . . who is she?”
“It’s strange...” he thought. “‘I love you!’ ... When did she even manage to fall in love? What an amazing woman! To fall in love like this, out of nowhere, without really knowing me or figuring out what kind of guy I am... She must be really young and romantic if she can fall in love after just two or three glances at me... But... who is she?”
Pavel Ivanitch suddenly recalled that when he had been walking among the summer villas the day before, and the day before that, he had several times been met by a fair young lady with a light blue hat and a turn-up nose. The fair charmer had kept looking at him, and when he sat down on a seat she had sat down beside him. . . .
Pavel Ivanitch suddenly remembered that when he had been walking among the summer villas the day before, and the day before that, he had run into a lovely young woman with a light blue hat and a turned-up nose several times. The beautiful girl kept glancing at him, and when he sat down on a bench, she had sat down next to him. . . .
“Can it be she?” Vyhodtsev wondered. “It can’t be! Could a delicate ephemeral creature like that fall in love with a worn-out old eel like me? No, it’s impossible!”
“Could it be her?” Vyhodtsev thought. “No way! How could such a delicate, fleeting being fall in love with a tired, old eel like me? That’s just not possible!”
At dinner Pavel Ivanitch looked blankly at his wife while he meditated:
At dinner, Pavel Ivanitch stared blankly at his wife as he thought.
“She writes that she is young and nice-looking. . . . So she’s not old. . . . Hm. . . . To tell the truth, honestly I am not so old and plain that no one could fall in love with me. My wife loves me! Besides, love is blind, we all know. . . .”
“She says she’s young and attractive. . . . So she’s not old. . . . Hmm. . . . Honestly, I’m not so old and unattractive that no one could fall in love with me. My wife loves me! Plus, we all know that love is blind. . . .”
“What are you thinking about?” his wife asked him.
“What are you thinking about?” his wife asked.
“Oh. . . my head aches a little. . .” Pavel Ivanitch said, quite untruly.
“Oh... my head hurts a bit...” Pavel Ivanitch said, not really truthfully.
He made up his mind that it was stupid to pay attention to such a nonsensical thing as a love-letter, and laughed at it and at its authoress, but—alas!—powerful is the “dacha” enemy of mankind! After dinner, Pavel Ivanitch lay down on his bed, and instead of going to sleep, reflected:
He decided it was silly to pay attention to something as ridiculous as a love letter, and he laughed at it and its writer, but—sadly!—the "dacha" is a strong enemy of humanity! After dinner, Pavel Ivanitch lay down on his bed, and instead of falling asleep, he thought:
“But there, I daresay she is expecting me to come! What a silly! I can just imagine what a nervous fidget she’ll be in and how her tournure will quiver when she does not find me in the arbour! I shan’t go, though. . . . Bother her!”
“But I bet she’s expecting me to show up! What a fool! I can totally picture how nervous she’ll be and how her tournure will shake when she realizes I’m not in the arbour! I’m not going, though... Ugh, forget her!”
But, I repeat, powerful is the enemy of mankind.
But, I say again, the enemy of humanity is powerful.
“Though I might, perhaps, just out of curiosity . . .” he was musing, half an hour later. “I might go and look from a distance what sort of a creature she is. . . . It would be interesting to have a look at her! It would be fun, and that’s all! After all, why shouldn’t I have a little fun since such a chance has turned up?”
“Even though I might, just out of curiosity . . .” he was thinking, half an hour later. “I could go and see from afar what kind of person she is. . . . It would be interesting to check her out! It would be fun, and that’s it! After all, why shouldn’t I have a little fun since this opportunity came up?”
Pavel Ivanitch got up from his bed and began dressing. “What are you getting yourself up so smartly for?” his wife asked, noticing that he was putting on a clean shirt and a fashionable tie.
Pavel Ivanitch got out of bed and started getting dressed. “Why are you dressing up so nicely?” his wife asked, seeing that he was putting on a clean shirt and a stylish tie.
“Oh, nothing. . . . I must have a walk. . . . My head aches. . . . Hm.”
“Oh, nothing... I just need to take a walk... My head hurts... Hm.”
Pavel Ivanitch dressed in his best, and waiting till eight o’clock, went out of the house. When the figures of gaily dressed summer visitors of both sexes began passing before his eyes against the bright green background, his heart throbbed.
Pavel Ivanitch put on his best clothes and waited until eight o’clock before leaving the house. As the brightly dressed summer visitors of both genders started walking by against the vibrant green backdrop, his heart raced.
“Which of them is it? . . .” he wondered, advancing irresolutely. “Come, what am I afraid of? Why, I am not going to the rendezvous! What . . . a fool! Go forward boldly! And what if I go into the arbour? Well, well . . . there is no reason I should.”
“Which one is it? . . .” he thought, moving forward uncertainly. “Come on, what am I afraid of? I’m not heading to the meeting! What a fool! Just go ahead confidently! And what if I step into the arbor? Well, well . . . there’s no reason I have to.”
Pavel Ivanitch’s heart beat still more violently. . . . Involuntarily, with no desire to do so, he suddenly pictured to himself the half-darkness of the arbour. . . . A graceful fair girl with a little blue hat and a turn-up nose rose before his imagination. He saw her, abashed by her love and trembling all over, timidly approach him, breathing excitedly, and . . . suddenly clasping him in her arms.
Pavel Ivanitch’s heart beat even more violently. . . . Without wanting to, he suddenly imagined the dimness of the arbor. . . . A graceful young woman in a little blue hat with a turned-up nose appeared in his mind. He saw her, shy because of her feelings and shaking all over, nervously approaching him, breathing heavily, and . . . suddenly wrapping her arms around him.
“If I weren’t married it would be all right . . .” he mused, driving sinful ideas out of his head. “Though . . . for once in my life, it would do no harm to have the experience, or else one will die without knowing what. . . . And my wife, what will it matter to her? Thank God, for eight years I’ve never moved one step away from her. . . . Eight years of irreproachable duty! Enough of her. . . . It’s positively vexatious. . . . I’m ready to go to spite her!”
“If I weren’t married it would be fine . . .” he thought, pushing sinful thoughts out of his mind. “But . . . for once in my life, it wouldn’t hurt to have the experience, or else I’ll die not knowing what . . . And my wife, what would it matter to her? Thank God, for eight years I’ve never strayed from her. . . . Eight years of perfect duty! Enough about her. . . . It’s really frustrating. . . . I’m ready to go just to spite her!”
Trembling all over and holding his breath, Pavel Ivanitch went up to the arbour, wreathed with ivy and wild vine, and peeped into it . . . . A smell of dampness and mildew reached him. . . .
Trembling all over and holding his breath, Pavel Ivanitch walked up to the arbor, covered in ivy and wild grapevines, and peeked inside . . . . He caught a whiff of dampness and mildew . . . .
“I believe there’s nobody . . .” he thought, going into the arbour, and at once saw a human silhouette in the corner.
“I think there’s nobody . . .” he thought, walking into the arbour, and immediately spotted a human figure in the corner.
The silhouette was that of a man. . . . Looking more closely, Pavel Ivanitch recognised his wife’s brother, Mitya, a student, who was staying with them at the villa.
The shadow was that of a man. . . . Looking closer, Pavel Ivanitch recognized his wife’s brother, Mitya, a student who was staying with them at the villa.
“Oh, it’s you . . .” he growled discontentedly, as he took off his hat and sat down.
“Oh, it’s you . . .” he grumbled unhappily, as he took off his hat and sat down.
“Yes, it’s I” . . . answered Mitya.
“Yes, it’s me” . . . answered Mitya.
Two minutes passed in silence.
Two minutes went by silently.
“Excuse me, Pavel Ivanitch,” began Mitya: “but might I ask you to leave me alone?? . . . I am thinking over the dissertation for my degree and . . . and the presence of anybody else prevents my thinking.”
“Excuse me, Pavel Ivanitch,” Mitya began, “but could you please leave me alone?? . . . I’m trying to focus on my dissertation for my degree and . . . having anyone else around makes it hard for me to think.”
“You had better go somewhere in a dark avenue. . .” Pavel Ivanitch observed mildly. “It’s easier to think in the open air, and, besides, . . . er . . . I should like to have a little sleep here on this seat. . . It’s not so hot here. . . .”
“You should probably go somewhere down a dark street...” Pavel Ivanitch remarked gently. “It’s easier to think outside, and, besides, um... I’d like to take a quick nap here on this bench... It’s not so hot here...”
“You want to sleep, but it’s a question of my dissertation . . .” Mitya grumbled. “The dissertation is more important.”
“You want to sleep, but it's about my dissertation . . .” Mitya complained. “The dissertation is more important.”
Again there was a silence. Pavel Ivanitch, who had given the rein to his imagination and was continually hearing footsteps, suddenly leaped up and said in a plaintive voice:
Again there was silence. Pavel Ivanitch, who had let his imagination run wild and was constantly hearing footsteps, suddenly jumped up and said in a whiny voice:
“Come, I beg you, Mitya! You are younger and ought to consider me . . . . I am unwell and . . . I need sleep. . . . Go away!”
“Please, I’m begging you, Mitya! You’re younger and should think about me... I’m not well and... I need some sleep... Just go away!”
“That’s egoism. . . . Why must you be here and not I? I won’t go as a matter of principle.”
“That's selfishness. . . . Why do you have to be here instead of me? I'm not going because of my principles.”
“Come, I ask you to! Suppose I am an egoist, a despot and a fool . . . but I ask you to go! For once in my life I ask you a favour! Show some consideration!”
“Come on, I’m asking you! Even if I’m selfish, controlling, and stupid . . . I’m asking you to leave! For once in my life, I’m asking you for a favor! Have some empathy!”
Mitya shook his head.
Mitya shook his head.
“What a beast! . . .” thought Pavel Ivanitch. “That can’t be a rendezvous with him here! It’s impossible with him here!”
“What a monster! . . .” thought Pavel Ivanitch. “There’s no way he can be meeting here! It’s just not possible with him around!”
“I say, Mitya,” he said, “I ask you for the last time. . . . Show that you are a sensible, humane, and cultivated man!”
“I’m telling you, Mitya,” he said, “I’m asking you for the last time... Show that you’re a reasonable, compassionate, and educated person!”
“I don’t know why you keep on so!” . . . said Mitya, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ve said I won’t go, and I won’t. I shall stay here as a matter of principle. . . .”
“I don’t know why you keep going on about this!” said Mitya, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ve said I won’t go, and I won’t. I’m staying here on principle...”
At that moment a woman’s face with a turn-up nose peeped into the arbour. . . .
At that moment, a woman's face with a upturned nose peeked into the arbour...
Seeing Mitya and Pavel Ivanitch, it frowned and vanished.
Seeing Mitya and Pavel Ivanitch, it frowned and disappeared.
“She is gone!” thought Pavel Ivanitch, looking angrily at Mitya. “She saw that blackguard and fled! It’s all spoilt!”
“She's gone!” thought Pavel Ivanitch, glaring at Mitya. “She saw that jerk and ran away! It's all ruined!”
After waiting a little longer, he got up, put on his hat and said:
After waiting a bit longer, he stood up, put on his hat, and said:
“You’re a beast, a low brute and a blackguard! Yes! A beast! It’s mean . . . and silly! Everything is at an end between us!”
“You’re a monster, a lowlife, and a scoundrel! Yes! A monster! It’s cruel . . . and ridiculous! Everything is over between us!”
“Delighted to hear it!” muttered Mitya, also getting up and putting on his hat. “Let me tell you that by being here just now you’ve played me such a dirty trick that I’ll never forgive you as long as I live.”
“Really glad to hear that!” muttered Mitya, getting up and putting on his hat. “I have to say, being here right now, you’ve pulled such a dirty trick on me that I’ll never forgive you for it as long as I live.”
Pavel Ivanitch went out of the arbour, and beside himself with rage, strode rapidly to his villa. Even the sight of the table laid for supper did not soothe him.
Pavel Ivanitch stepped out of the arbor and, consumed with anger, hurried straight to his villa. Even seeing the table set for dinner didn't calm him down.
“Once in a lifetime such a chance has turned up,” he thought in agitation; “and then it’s been prevented! Now she is offended . . . crushed!”
“Such a chance comes once in a lifetime,” he thought anxiously; “and now it's been ruined! Now she’s upset... shattered!”
At supper Pavel Ivanitch and Mitya kept their eyes on their plates and maintained a sullen silence. . . . They were hating each other from the bottom of their hearts.
At dinner, Pavel Ivanitch and Mitya stared at their plates and stayed in a gloomy silence. . . . They were deeply resentful of each other.
“What are you smiling at?” asked Pavel Ivanitch, pouncing on his wife. “It’s only silly fools who laugh for nothing!”
“What are you smiling at?” Pavel Ivanitch asked, jumping on his wife. “Only silly fools laugh for no reason!”
His wife looked at her husband’s angry face, and went off into a peal of laughter.
His wife saw her husband’s angry face and burst into laughter.
“What was that letter you got this morning?” she asked.
“What was that letter you received this morning?” she asked.
“I? . . . I didn’t get one. . . .” Pavel Ivanitch was overcome with confusion. “You are inventing . . . imagination.”
“I? . . . I didn’t get one. . . .” Pavel Ivanitch was overwhelmed with confusion. “You’re just making things up . . . it’s all in your head.”
“Oh, come, tell us! Own up, you did! Why, it was I sent you that letter! Honour bright, I did! Ha ha!”
“Oh, come on, tell us! Admit it, you did! I was the one who sent you that letter! Honestly, I did! Ha ha!”
Pavel Ivanitch turned crimson and bent over his plate. “Silly jokes,” he growled.
Pavel Ivanitch turned red and leaned over his plate. “Dumb jokes,” he grumbled.
“But what could I do? Tell me that. . . . We had to scrub the rooms out this evening, and how could we get you out of the house? There was no other way of getting you out. . . . But don’t be angry, stupid. . . . I didn’t want you to be dull in the arbour, so I sent the same letter to Mitya too! Mitya, have you been to the arbour?”
“But what could I do? Tell me that. . . . We had to clean the rooms this evening, and how could we get you out of the house? There was no other way to get you out. . . . But don’t be mad, you silly. . . . I didn’t want you to be bored in the arbor, so I sent the same letter to Mitya too! Mitya, have you been to the arbor?”
Mitya grinned and left off glaring with hatred at his rival.
Mitya grinned and stopped glaring at his rival with hatred.
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