This is a modern-English version of The Duel and Other Stories, originally written by Chekhov, Anton Pavlovich.
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and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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THE DUEL AND OTHER STORIES
By Anton Tchekhov
Translated by Constance Garnett
CONTENTS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
THE DUEL
I
It was eight o’clock in the morning—the time when the officers, the local officials, and the visitors usually took their morning dip in the sea after the hot, stifling night, and then went into the pavilion to drink tea or coffee. Ivan Andreitch Laevsky, a thin, fair young man of twenty-eight, wearing the cap of a clerk in the Ministry of Finance and with slippers on his feet, coming down to bathe, found a number of acquaintances on the beach, and among them his friend Samoylenko, the army doctor.
It was eight in the morning—the time when the officers, local officials, and visitors usually took their morning swim in the sea after a hot, stuffy night, and then headed to the pavilion for tea or coffee. Ivan Andreitch Laevsky, a slim, light-haired young man of twenty-eight, wearing a clerk's cap from the Ministry of Finance and slippers on his feet, came down to swim and found several acquaintances on the beach, including his friend Samoylenko, the army doctor.
With his big cropped head, short neck, his red face, his big nose, his shaggy black eyebrows and grey whiskers, his stout puffy figure and his hoarse military bass, this Samoylenko made on every newcomer the unpleasant impression of a gruff bully; but two or three days after making his acquaintance, one began to think his face extraordinarily good-natured, kind, and even handsome. In spite of his clumsiness and rough manner, he was a peaceable man, of infinite kindliness and goodness of heart, always ready to be of use. He was on familiar terms with every one in the town, lent every one money, doctored every one, made matches, patched up quarrels, arranged picnics at which he cooked shashlik and an awfully good soup of grey mullets. He was always looking after other people’s affairs and trying to interest some one on their behalf, and was always delighted about something. The general opinion about him was that he was without faults of character. He had only two weaknesses: he was ashamed of his own good nature, and tried to disguise it by a surly expression and an assumed gruffness; and he liked his assistants and his soldiers to call him “Your Excellency,” although he was only a civil councillor.
With his big cropped head, short neck, red face, big nose, shaggy black eyebrows, and gray whiskers, his stout, puffy figure and his hoarse military bass voice, Samoylenko gave every newcomer an unpleasant impression of a gruff bully. But after two or three days of getting to know him, you started to see his face as surprisingly good-natured, kind, and even handsome. Despite his clumsiness and rough demeanor, he was a peaceful man, full of kindness and goodness, always ready to help out. He was friendly with everyone in town, lending money, helping with medical issues, matchmaking, resolving conflicts, and organizing picnics where he cooked shashlik and an incredibly good soup made from gray mullets. He was always busy looking after other people's affairs and trying to promote their interests, and he was always delighted by something. The general consensus about him was that he had no character flaws. He only had two weaknesses: he was embarrassed by his own kindness and tried to cover it up with a grumpy expression and an act of gruffness; and he liked his assistants and soldiers to call him “Your Excellency,” even though he was just a civil councilor.
“Answer one question for me, Alexandr Daviditch,” Laevsky began, when both he and Samoylenko were in the water up to their shoulders. “Suppose you had loved a woman and had been living with her for two or three years, and then left off caring for her, as one does, and began to feel that you had nothing in common with her. How would you behave in that case?”
“Answer one question for me, Alexandr Daviditch,” Laevsky started, while both he and Samoylenko were in the water up to their shoulders. “Imagine you had loved a woman and had been living with her for two or three years, and then you stopped caring for her, as people do, and started to feel like you had nothing in common with her. How would you handle that situation?”
“It’s very simple. ‘You go where you please, madam’—and that would be the end of it.”
“It’s really straightforward. ‘You can go wherever you want, ma'am’—and that would be the end of it.”
“It’s easy to say that! But if she has nowhere to go? A woman with no friends or relations, without a farthing, who can’t work . . .”
“It’s easy to say that! But what if she has nowhere to go? A woman with no friends or family, without a cent to her name, who can’t work . . .”
“Well? Five hundred roubles down or an allowance of twenty-five roubles a month—and nothing more. It’s very simple.”
“Well? Five hundred rubles upfront or a monthly allowance of twenty-five rubles—and that’s it. It’s pretty straightforward.”
“Even supposing you have five hundred roubles and can pay twenty-five roubles a month, the woman I am speaking of is an educated woman and proud. Could you really bring yourself to offer her money? And how would you do it?”
“Even if you have five hundred rubles and can pay twenty-five rubles a month, the woman I'm talking about is educated and proud. Could you truly bring yourself to offer her money? And how would you go about it?”
Samoylenko was going to answer, but at that moment a big wave covered them both, then broke on the beach and rolled back noisily over the shingle. The friends got out and began dressing.
Samoylenko was about to answer, but at that moment, a huge wave crashed over them both, then receded noisily over the pebbles on the beach. The friends climbed out and started putting on their clothes.
“Of course, it is difficult to live with a woman if you don’t love her,” said Samoylenko, shaking the sand out of his boots. “But one must look at the thing humanely, Vanya. If it were my case, I should never show a sign that I did not love her, and I should go on living with her till I died.”
“Of course, it’s hard to live with a woman if you don’t love her,” said Samoylenko, shaking the sand out of his boots. “But you have to look at it from a human perspective, Vanya. If I were in that situation, I would never let on that I didn’t love her, and I’d keep living with her until I died.”
He was at once ashamed of his own words; he pulled himself up and said:
He immediately felt embarrassed by his words; he straightened himself and said:
“But for aught I care, there might be no females at all. Let them all go to the devil!”
“But for all I care, there could be no women at all. Let them all go to hell!”
The friends dressed and went into the pavilion. There Samoylenko was quite at home, and even had a special cup and saucer. Every morning they brought him on a tray a cup of coffee, a tall cut glass of iced water, and a tiny glass of brandy. He would first drink the brandy, then the hot coffee, then the iced water, and this must have been very nice, for after drinking it his eyes looked moist with pleasure, he would stroke his whiskers with both hands, and say, looking at the sea:
The friends got dressed and headed into the pavilion. Samoylenko was right at home there, even having his own special cup and saucer. Every morning, they’d bring him a tray with a cup of coffee, a tall glass of iced water, and a small glass of brandy. He would usually drink the brandy first, then the hot coffee, followed by the iced water. It must have been really enjoyable because after drinking it, his eyes would gleam with pleasure, he’d stroke his whiskers with both hands, and say, gazing at the sea:
“A wonderfully magnificent view!”
“Amazing view!”
After a long night spent in cheerless, unprofitable thoughts which prevented him from sleeping, and seemed to intensify the darkness and sultriness of the night, Laevsky felt listless and shattered. He felt no better for the bathe and the coffee.
After a long night filled with gloomy, unproductive thoughts that kept him awake and seemed to amplify the darkness and stuffiness of the night, Laevsky felt drained and broken. He didn't feel any better after the bath and the coffee.
“Let us go on with our talk, Alexandr Daviditch,” he said. “I won’t make a secret of it; I’ll speak to you openly as to a friend. Things are in a bad way with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and me . . . a very bad way! Forgive me for forcing my private affairs upon you, but I must speak out.”
“Let’s continue our conversation, Alexandr Daviditch,” he said. “I won’t keep it a secret; I’ll talk to you openly as a friend. Things are really not good between Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and me... very bad! I apologize for bringing my personal issues to you, but I have to get it off my chest.”
Samoylenko, who had a misgiving of what he was going to speak about, dropped his eyes and drummed with his fingers on the table.
Samoylenko, who felt uneasy about what he was going to talk about, dropped his eyes and tapped his fingers on the table.
“I’ve lived with her for two years and have ceased to love her,” Laevsky went on; “or, rather, I realised that I never had felt any love for her. . . . These two years have been a mistake.”
“I’ve lived with her for two years and I’ve stopped loving her,” Laevsky continued; “or, actually, I realized that I never really loved her at all. . . . These two years have been a mistake.”
It was Laevsky’s habit as he talked to gaze attentively at the pink palms of his hands, to bite his nails, or to pinch his cuffs. And he did so now.
It was Laevsky’s habit as he talked to focus intently on the pink palms of his hands, to bite his nails, or to pinch his cuffs. And he did that now.
“I know very well you can’t help me,” he said. “But I tell you, because unsuccessful and superfluous people like me find their salvation in talking. I have to generalise about everything I do. I’m bound to look for an explanation and justification of my absurd existence in somebody else’s theories, in literary types—in the idea that we, upper-class Russians, are degenerating, for instance, and so on. Last night, for example, I comforted myself by thinking all the time: ‘Ah, how true Tolstoy is, how mercilessly true!’ And that did me good. Yes, really, brother, he is a great writer, say what you like!”
“I know you can’t help me,” he said. “But I’m saying this because people like me, who are unsuccessful and unnecessary, find their release in talking. I have to generalize everything I do. I’m always searching for an explanation and justification for my ridiculous existence in someone else’s theories, in literary figures—like the idea that we, upper-class Russians, are degenerating, for example, and so on. Last night, I kept telling myself: ‘Ah, how true Tolstoy is, how brutally honest!’ And that helped me. Yes, really, brother, he is a great writer, whether you agree or not!”
Samoylenko, who had never read Tolstoy and was intending to do so every day of his life, was a little embarrassed, and said:
Samoylenko, who had never read Tolstoy and planned to do so every day of his life, felt a bit embarrassed and said:
“Yes, all other authors write from imagination, but he writes straight from nature.”
“Yes, other authors use their imagination, but he writes directly from nature.”
“My God!” sighed Laevsky; “how distorted we all are by civilisation! I fell in love with a married woman and she with me. . . . To begin with, we had kisses, and calm evenings, and vows, and Spencer, and ideals, and interests in common. . . . What a deception! We really ran away from her husband, but we lied to ourselves and made out that we ran away from the emptiness of the life of the educated class. We pictured our future like this: to begin with, in the Caucasus, while we were getting to know the people and the place, I would put on the Government uniform and enter the service; then at our leisure we would pick out a plot of ground, would toil in the sweat of our brow, would have a vineyard and a field, and so on. If you were in my place, or that zoologist of yours, Von Koren, you might live with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna for thirty years, perhaps, and might leave your heirs a rich vineyard and three thousand acres of maize; but I felt like a bankrupt from the first day. In the town you have insufferable heat, boredom, and no society; if you go out into the country, you fancy poisonous spiders, scorpions, or snakes lurking under every stone and behind every bush, and beyond the fields—mountains and the desert. Alien people, an alien country, a wretched form of civilisation—all that is not so easy, brother, as walking on the Nevsky Prospect in one’s fur coat, arm-in-arm with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, dreaming of the sunny South. What is needed here is a life and death struggle, and I’m not a fighting man. A wretched neurasthenic, an idle gentleman . . . . From the first day I knew that my dreams of a life of labour and of a vineyard were worthless. As for love, I ought to tell you that living with a woman who has read Spencer and has followed you to the ends of the earth is no more interesting than living with any Anfissa or Akulina. There’s the same smell of ironing, of powder, and of medicines, the same curl-papers every morning, the same self-deception.”
“My God!” sighed Laevsky; “how twisted we all are by civilization! I fell in love with a married woman, and she fell in love with me. At first, we had kisses, quiet evenings, promises, and shared interests in Spencer and ideals. What a deception! We really ran away from her husband, but we lied to ourselves and claimed we were escaping the emptiness of educated life. We dreamed of our future like this: we’d start in the Caucasus, getting to know the people and the place, I would put on the Government uniform and join the service; then we’d leisurely choose a piece of land, work hard, and have a vineyard and fields, and so on. If you were in my position, or that zoologist of yours, Von Koren, you might live with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna for thirty years, maybe leave your heirs a rich vineyard and three thousand acres of corn; but I felt like a failure from day one. In town, there’s unbearable heat, boredom, and no community; if you go out into the countryside, you imagine venomous spiders, scorpions, or snakes lurking under every rock and behind every bush, and beyond the fields—mountains and desert. Strange people, an unfamiliar country, a poor excuse for civilization—all that is not as easy, brother, as strolling down Nevsky Prospect in a fur coat, arm-in-arm with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, dreaming of sunny places. What’s needed here is a life-and-death struggle, and I’m not a fighter. A pathetic, anxious, idle guy… From day one, I knew my dreams of a life of labor and vineyards were useless. And about love, I have to tell you that living with a woman who has read Spencer and followed you to the ends of the earth is no more interesting than living with any Anfissa or Akulina. There’s the same smell of laundry, powder, and medicines, the same curlers every morning, the same self-deception.”
“You can’t get on in the house without an iron,” said Samoylenko, blushing at Laevsky’s speaking to him so openly of a lady he knew. “You are out of humour to-day, Vanya, I notice. Nadyezhda Fyodorovna is a splendid woman, highly educated, and you are a man of the highest intellect. Of course, you are not married,” Samoylenko went on, glancing round at the adjacent tables, “but that’s not your fault; and besides . . . one ought to be above conventional prejudices and rise to the level of modern ideas. I believe in free love myself, yes. . . . But to my thinking, once you have settled together, you ought to go on living together all your life.”
“You can’t get by in the house without an iron,” said Samoylenko, blushing at Laevsky’s straightforward talk about a woman he knew. “You seem a bit off today, Vanya, I’ve noticed. Nadyezhda Fyodorovna is a fantastic woman, very educated, and you're a man of great intellect. Of course, you’re not married,” Samoylenko continued, glancing around at the nearby tables, “but that’s not your fault; and besides… one should rise above conventional prejudices and embrace modern ideas. I believe in free love myself, yes… But I think that once you decide to settle down together, you should continue living together for life.”
“Without love?”
"Without love?"
“I will tell you directly,” said Samoylenko. “Eight years ago there was an old fellow, an agent, here—a man of very great intelligence. Well, he used to say that the great thing in married life was patience. Do you hear, Vanya? Not love, but patience. Love cannot last long. You have lived two years in love, and now evidently your married life has reached the period when, in order to preserve equilibrium, so to speak, you ought to exercise all your patience. . . .”
“I'll be straight with you,” said Samoylenko. “Eight years ago, there was an old guy, an agent, here—a man of great intelligence. He used to say that the key to a successful marriage is patience. Do you get that, Vanya? Not love, but patience. Love doesn’t last forever. You’ve been in love for two years, and now it’s clear your marriage is at a point where, to keep things balanced, you need to use all your patience. . . .”
“You believe in your old agent; to me his words are meaningless. Your old man could be a hypocrite; he could exercise himself in the virtue of patience, and, as he did so, look upon a person he did not love as an object indispensable for his moral exercises; but I have not yet fallen so low. If I want to exercise myself in patience, I will buy dumb-bells or a frisky horse, but I’ll leave human beings alone.”
“You trust your old agent; to me, his words don’t mean anything. Your old man could be a hypocrite; he might practice the virtue of patience while seeing someone he doesn’t love as just a necessary part of his moral training. But I haven’t sunk that low yet. If I want to work on my patience, I’ll get some dumbbells or a lively horse, but I’ll stay away from people.”
Samoylenko asked for some white wine with ice. When they had drunk a glass each, Laevsky suddenly asked:
Samoylenko asked for a glass of white wine with ice. After they each had a drink, Laevsky suddenly asked:
“Tell me, please, what is the meaning of softening of the brain?”
“Can you please tell me what softening of the brain means?”
“How can I explain it to you? . . . It’s a disease in which the brain becomes softer . . . as it were, dissolves.”
“How can I explain this to you? . . . It’s an illness where the brain becomes softer . . . in a way, it dissolves.”
“Is it curable?”
"Can it be cured?"
“Yes, if the disease is not neglected. Cold douches, blisters. . . . Something internal, too.”
“Yes, if the disease is not ignored. Cold showers, blisters... Something internal as well.”
“Oh! . . . Well, you see my position; I can’t live with her: it is more than I can do. While I’m with you I can be philosophical about it and smile, but at home I lose heart completely; I am so utterly miserable, that if I were told, for instance, that I should have to live another month with her, I should blow out my brains. At the same time, parting with her is out of the question. She has no friends or relations; she cannot work, and neither she nor I have any money. . . . What could become of her? To whom could she go? There is nothing one can think of. . . . Come, tell me, what am I to do?”
“Oh! . . . Well, you see my situation; I can’t live with her: it’s more than I can handle. When I’m with you, I can be philosophical about it and smile, but at home, I completely lose hope; I’m so utterly unhappy that if I were told, for example, that I had to live another month with her, I’d be at my breaking point. At the same time, separating from her isn’t an option. She has no friends or family; she can’t work, and neither of us has any money. . . . What would happen to her? Where could she go? There’s just no solution to this. . . . Come on, tell me, what should I do?”
“H’m! . . .” growled Samoylenko, not knowing what to answer. “Does she love you?”
“Hm...,” Samoylenko grumbled, unsure of how to respond. “Does she love you?”
“Yes, she loves me in so far as at her age and with her temperament she wants a man. It would be as difficult for her to do without me as to do without her powder or her curl-papers. I am for her an indispensable, integral part of her boudoir.”
“Yes, she loves me as much as a woman her age and with her personality wants a man. It would be just as hard for her to be without me as it would be to be without her makeup or her curlers. I am an essential, integral part of her dressing room.”
Samoylenko was embarrassed.
Samoylenko felt embarrassed.
“You are out of humour to-day, Vanya,” he said. “You must have had a bad night.”
“You're not in a good mood today, Vanya,” he said. “You must have had a rough night.”
“Yes, I slept badly. . . . Altogether, I feel horribly out of sorts, brother. My head feels empty; there’s a sinking at my heart, a weakness. . . . I must run away.”
“Yes, I didn’t sleep well. . . . Overall, I feel really off, brother. My mind feels blank; there’s a heaviness in my chest, a weakness. . . . I need to get away.”
“Run where?”
“Where to run?”
“There, to the North. To the pines and the mushrooms, to people and ideas. . . . I’d give half my life to bathe now in some little stream in the province of Moscow or Tula; to feel chilly, you know, and then to stroll for three hours even with the feeblest student, and to talk and talk endlessly. . . . And the scent of the hay! Do you remember it? And in the evening, when one walks in the garden, sounds of the piano float from the house; one hears the train passing. . . .”
“There, up North. To the pines and the mushrooms, to people and ideas. . . . I’d give half my life to soak in a little stream in the Moscow or Tula region; to feel that chill, you know, and then to wander for three hours even with the lightest student, and to talk and talk endlessly. . . . And the smell of the hay! Do you remember it? And in the evening, when you walk in the garden, you can hear the piano floating from the house; you can hear the train passing. . . .”
Laevsky laughed with pleasure; tears came into his eyes, and to cover them, without getting up, he stretched across the next table for the matches.
Laevsky laughed with joy; tears filled his eyes, and to hide them without standing up, he reached over to the next table for the matches.
“I have not been in Russia for eighteen years,” said Samoylenko. “I’ve forgotten what it is like. To my mind, there is not a country more splendid than the Caucasus.”
“I haven't been to Russia in eighteen years,” said Samoylenko. “I've forgotten what it's like. To me, there isn’t a place more beautiful than the Caucasus.”
“Vereshtchagin has a picture in which some men condemned to death are languishing at the bottom of a very deep well. Your magnificent Caucasus strikes me as just like that well. If I were offered the choice of a chimney-sweep in Petersburg or a prince in the Caucasus, I should choose the job of chimney-sweep.”
“Vereshtchagin has a painting where some men sentenced to death are suffering at the bottom of a very deep well. Your beautiful Caucasus feels just like that well to me. If I had to choose between being a chimney sweep in Petersburg or a prince in the Caucasus, I would pick being a chimney sweep.”
Laevsky grew pensive. Looking at his stooping figure, at his eyes fixed dreamily at one spot, at his pale, perspiring face and sunken temples, at his bitten nails, at the slipper which had dropped off his heel, displaying a badly darned sock, Samoylenko was moved to pity, and probably because Laevsky reminded him of a helpless child, he asked:
Laevsky became lost in thought. Looking at his slumped posture, his eyes staring vacantly at one spot, his pale, sweaty face and sunken temples, his chewed nails, and the slipper that had slipped off his heel, revealing a poorly mended sock, Samoylenko felt a surge of sympathy. Probably because Laevsky reminded him of a vulnerable child, he asked:
“Is your mother living?”
"Is your mom alive?"
“Yes, but we are on bad terms. She could not forgive me for this affair.”
“Yes, but we’re not on good terms. She couldn't forgive me for this situation.”
Samoylenko was fond of his friend. He looked upon Laevsky as a good-natured fellow, a student, a man with no nonsense about him, with whom one could drink, and laugh, and talk without reserve. What he understood in him he disliked extremely. Laevsky drank a great deal and at unsuitable times; he played cards, despised his work, lived beyond his means, frequently made use of unseemly expressions in conversation, walked about the streets in his slippers, and quarrelled with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna before other people—and Samoylenko did not like this. But the fact that Laevsky had once been a student in the Faculty of Arts, subscribed to two fat reviews, often talked so cleverly that only a few people understood him, was living with a well-educated woman—all this Samoylenko did not understand, and he liked this and respected Laevsky, thinking him superior to himself.
Samoylenko cared for his friend. He saw Laevsky as a nice guy, a student, someone straightforward, with whom you could drink, laugh, and chat openly. There were things about Laevsky that he really disliked. Laevsky drank a lot and at inappropriate times; he played cards, looked down on his work, spent more than he could afford, often used inappropriate language in conversations, strolled around the streets in his slippers, and argued with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna in front of others—and Samoylenko didn’t appreciate that. However, the fact that Laevsky had once been a student in the Faculty of Arts, subscribed to two popular magazines, often spoke so smartly that only a few could follow him, and lived with a well-educated woman—all of this was beyond Samoylenko's understanding, yet he admired and respected Laevsky, believing he was superior to him.
“There is another point,” said Laevsky, shaking his head. “Only it is between ourselves. I’m concealing it from Nadyezhda Fyodorovna for the time. . . . Don’t let it out before her. . . . I got a letter the day before yesterday, telling me that her husband has died from softening of the brain.”
“There’s one more thing,” Laevsky said, shaking his head. “But it's just between us. I’m keeping it from Nadyezhda Fyodorovna for now. . . . Don’t mention it in front of her. . . . I got a letter the day before yesterday, saying that her husband died from brain degeneration.”
“The Kingdom of Heaven be his!” sighed Samoylenko. “Why are you concealing it from her?”
“The Kingdom of Heaven be his!” sighed Samoylenko. “Why are you hiding it from her?”
“To show her that letter would be equivalent to ‘Come to church to be married.’ And we should first have to make our relations clear. When she understands that we can’t go on living together, I will show her the letter. Then there will be no danger in it.”
“To show her that letter would be like saying ‘Come to church to get married.’ We first need to clarify our relationship. Once she realizes that we can’t keep living together, I’ll show her the letter. Then it won’t be risky.”
“Do you know what, Vanya,” said Samoylenko, and a sad and imploring expression came into his face, as though he were going to ask him about something very touching and were afraid of being refused. “Marry her, my dear boy!”
“Do you know what, Vanya,” said Samoylenko, and a sad and pleading look came into his face, as though he were about to ask him something very emotional and feared being turned down. “Marry her, my dear boy!”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Do your duty to that splendid woman! Her husband is dead, and so Providence itself shows you what to do!”
“Do your duty to that amazing woman! Her husband has passed away, and so fate is showing you what to do!”
“But do understand, you queer fellow, that it is impossible. To marry without love is as base and unworthy of a man as to perform mass without believing in it.”
“But you need to understand, you quirky guy, that it’s impossible. Marrying without love is just as low and unworthy of a man as performing mass without truly believing in it.”
“But it’s your duty to.”
“But it’s your responsibility to.”
“Why is it my duty?” Laevsky asked irritably.
“Why is it my responsibility?” Laevsky asked irritably.
“Because you took her away from her husband and made yourself responsible for her.”
“Because you took her away from her husband and made yourself responsible for her.”
“But now I tell you in plain Russian, I don’t love her!”
“But now I’m telling you straight up, I don’t love her!”
“Well, if you’ve no love, show her proper respect, consider her wishes. . . .”
“Well, if you don’t love her, at least show her some proper respect and think about her wishes. . . .”
“‘Show her respect, consider her wishes,’” Laevsky mimicked him. “As though she were some Mother Superior! . . . You are a poor psychologist and physiologist if you think that living with a woman one can get off with nothing but respect and consideration. What a woman thinks most of is her bedroom.”
“‘Show her respect, consider her wishes,’” Laevsky imitated him. “As if she were some kind of Mother Superior! . . . You have no clue about psychology or human nature if you think that just being respectful and considerate is enough to be with a woman. What’s most on a woman’s mind is her bedroom.”
“Vanya, Vanya!” said Samoylenko, overcome with confusion.
“Vanya, Vanya!” said Samoylenko, feeling completely confused.
“You are an elderly child, a theorist, while I am an old man in spite of my years, and practical, and we shall never understand one another. We had better drop this conversation. Mustapha!” Laevsky shouted to the waiter. “What’s our bill?”
“You're a young thinker, while I'm just an old man, even with my age, and I’m more practical. We’re never going to understand each other. Let's just end this conversation. Mustapha!” Laevsky shouted to the waiter. “What's our bill?”
“No, no . . .” the doctor cried in dismay, clutching Laevsky’s arm. “It is for me to pay. I ordered it. Make it out to me,” he cried to Mustapha.
“No, no . . .” the doctor exclaimed in distress, gripping Laevsky’s arm. “I should pay for it. I ordered it. Make it out to me,” he shouted to Mustapha.
The friends got up and walked in silence along the sea-front. When they reached the boulevard, they stopped and shook hands at parting.
The friends got up and walked quietly along the waterfront. When they reached the boulevard, they paused and shook hands before saying goodbye.
“You are awfully spoilt, my friend!” Samoylenko sighed. “Fate has sent you a young, beautiful, cultured woman, and you refuse the gift, while if God were to give me a crooked old woman, how pleased I should be if only she were kind and affectionate! I would live with her in my vineyard and . . .”
“You're incredibly spoiled, my friend!” Samoylenko sighed. “Fate has blessed you with a young, beautiful, cultured woman, and you turn down the opportunity, while if God were to give me a crooked old woman, I would be so pleased if she were just kind and loving! I would live with her in my vineyard and . . .”
Samoylenko caught himself up and said:
Samoylenko got himself together and said:
“And she might get the samovar ready for me there, the old hag.”
“And she might get the samovar ready for me there, the old witch.”
After parting with Laevsky he walked along the boulevard. When, bulky and majestic, with a stern expression on his face, he walked along the boulevard in his snow-white tunic and superbly polished boots, squaring his chest, decorated with the Vladimir cross on a ribbon, he was very much pleased with himself, and it seemed as though the whole world were looking at him with pleasure. Without turning his head, he looked to each side and thought that the boulevard was extremely well laid out; that the young cypress-trees, the eucalyptuses, and the ugly, anemic palm-trees were very handsome and would in time give abundant shade; that the Circassians were an honest and hospitable people.
After parting with Laevsky, he walked down the boulevard. He felt quite proud of himself as he strolled along in his snow-white tunic and shiny polished boots, chest out and decorated with the Vladimir cross on a ribbon. He seemed to think that everyone around was admiring him. Without turning his head, he glanced to either side and thought the boulevard was incredibly well designed; the young cypress trees, eucalyptuses, and the unattractive, pale palm trees were quite beautiful and would eventually provide plenty of shade; and that the Circassians were honest and welcoming people.
“It’s strange that Laevsky does not like the Caucasus,” he thought, “very strange.”
“It’s odd that Laevsky doesn’t like the Caucasus,” he thought, “really odd.”
Five soldiers, carrying rifles, met him and saluted him. On the right side of the boulevard the wife of a local official was walking along the pavement with her son, a schoolboy.
Five soldiers, carrying rifles, met him and saluted him. On the right side of the boulevard, the wife of a local official was walking along the sidewalk with her son, a schoolboy.
“Good-morning, Marya Konstantinovna,” Samoylenko shouted to her with a pleasant smile. “Have you been to bathe? Ha, ha, ha! . . . My respects to Nikodim Alexandritch!”
“Good morning, Marya Konstantinovna,” Samoylenko called out to her with a friendly smile. “Have you been for a swim? Ha, ha, ha! . . . Please send my regards to Nikodim Alexandritch!”
And he went on, still smiling pleasantly, but seeing an assistant of the military hospital coming towards him, he suddenly frowned, stopped him, and asked:
And he continued on, still smiling nicely, but when he saw a staff member from the military hospital approaching him, he suddenly frowned, stopped him, and asked:
“Is there any one in the hospital?”
“Is anyone at the hospital?”
“No one, Your Excellency.”
"Nobody, Your Excellency."
“Eh?”
"What's up?"
“No one, Your Excellency.”
“No one, Your Honor.”
“Very well, run along. . . .”
“Alright, go ahead. . . .”
Swaying majestically, he made for the lemonade stall, where sat a full-bosomed old Jewess, who gave herself out to be a Georgian, and said to her as loudly as though he were giving the word of command to a regiment:
Swaying gracefully, he headed towards the lemonade stand, where an older Jewish woman with a generous figure proclaimed herself to be Georgian. He spoke to her as loudly as if he were issuing orders to a regiment:
“Be so good as to give me some soda-water!”
“Could you please get me some soda water?”
II
Laevsky’s not loving Nadyezhda Fyodorovna showed itself chiefly in the fact that everything she said or did seemed to him a lie, or equivalent to a lie, and everything he read against women and love seemed to him to apply perfectly to himself, to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and her husband. When he returned home, she was sitting at the window, dressed and with her hair done, and with a preoccupied face was drinking coffee and turning over the leaves of a fat magazine; and he thought the drinking of coffee was not such a remarkable event that she need put on a preoccupied expression over it, and that she had been wasting her time doing her hair in a fashionable style, as there was no one here to attract and no need to be attractive. And in the magazine he saw nothing but falsity. He thought she had dressed and done her hair so as to look handsomer, and was reading in order to seem clever.
Laevsky’s lack of love for Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was mainly shown in the way that everything she said or did felt like a lie, or something like a lie, and everything he read about women and love seemed to perfectly reflect his own situation, as well as that of Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and her husband. When he got home, she was sitting by the window, dressed up and with her hair done, wearing a thoughtful expression while sipping coffee and flipping through the pages of a thick magazine. He thought that drinking coffee wasn’t something special that would require a thoughtful expression and that she had wasted her time styling her hair because there was no one around to impress and no real need to look attractive. To him, the magazine was filled with nothing but falsehoods. He believed she had dressed up and styled her hair to appear more attractive and was reading to come across as smart.
“Will it be all right for me to go to bathe to-day?” she said.
“Is it okay for me to go take a bath today?” she asked.
“Why? There won’t be an earthquake whether you go or not, I suppose . . . .”
“Why? I guess there won't be an earthquake whether you go or not . . .”
“No, I only ask in case the doctor should be vexed.”
“No, I only ask in case the doctor gets upset.”
“Well, ask the doctor, then; I’m not a doctor.”
“Well, ask the doctor then; I’m not a doctor.”
On this occasion what displeased Laevsky most in Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was her white open neck and the little curls at the back of her head. And he remembered that when Anna Karenin got tired of her husband, what she disliked most of all was his ears, and thought: “How true it is, how true!”
On this occasion, what bothered Laevsky the most about Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was her open white neckline and the small curls at the back of her head. He remembered that when Anna Karenina grew tired of her husband, what she disliked the most were his ears, and thought, “How true that is, how true!”
Feeling weak and as though his head were perfectly empty, he went into his study, lay down on his sofa, and covered his face with a handkerchief that he might not be bothered by the flies. Despondent and oppressive thoughts always about the same thing trailed slowly across his brain like a long string of waggons on a gloomy autumn evening, and he sank into a state of drowsy oppression. It seemed to him that he had wronged Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and her husband, and that it was through his fault that her husband had died. It seemed to him that he had sinned against his own life, which he had ruined, against the world of lofty ideas, of learning, and of work, and he conceived that wonderful world as real and possible, not on this sea-front with hungry Turks and lazy mountaineers sauntering upon it, but there in the North, where there were operas, theatres, newspapers, and all kinds of intellectual activity. One could only there—not here—be honest, intelligent, lofty, and pure. He accused himself of having no ideal, no guiding principle in life, though he had a dim understanding now what it meant. Two years before, when he fell in love with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, it seemed to him that he had only to go with her as his wife to the Caucasus, and he would be saved from vulgarity and emptiness; in the same way now, he was convinced that he had only to part from Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and to go to Petersburg, and he would get everything he wanted.
Feeling weak and like his mind was completely blank, he went into his study, lay down on the sofa, and covered his face with a handkerchief to avoid being bothered by flies. Despairing and heavy thoughts constantly circling around the same issues drifted through his mind like a long string of freight cars on a gloomy autumn evening, and he slipped into a state of drowsy heaviness. He felt he had wronged Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and her husband, believing it was his fault that her husband had passed away. He thought he had sinned against his own life, which he had squandered, against the world of high ideals, knowledge, and hard work, envisioning that ideal world as real and attainable—not here by the sea with starving Turks and lazy mountain dwellers hanging around—but up North, where there were operas, theaters, newspapers, and all sorts of intellectual activities. Only there—not here—could one truly be honest, intelligent, noble, and pure. He blamed himself for having no ideals or guiding principles in life, even though he now had a vague understanding of what that meant. Two years earlier, when he fell in love with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, he had thought that simply going to the Caucasus with her as his wife would save him from mediocrity and emptiness; now, he was convinced that all he had to do was part ways with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and head to Petersburg, and he would achieve everything he desired.
“Run away,” he muttered to himself, sitting up and biting his nails. “Run away!”
“Run away,” he mumbled to himself, sitting up and biting his nails. “Run away!”
He pictured in his imagination how he would go aboard the steamer and then would have some lunch, would drink some cold beer, would talk on deck with ladies, then would get into the train at Sevastopol and set off. Hurrah for freedom! One station after another would flash by, the air would keep growing colder and keener, then the birches and the fir-trees, then Kursk, Moscow. . . . In the restaurants cabbage soup, mutton with kasha, sturgeon, beer, no more Asiaticism, but Russia, real Russia. The passengers in the train would talk about trade, new singers, the Franco-Russian entente; on all sides there would be the feeling of keen, cultured, intellectual, eager life. . . . Hasten on, on! At last Nevsky Prospect, and Great Morskaya Street, and then Kovensky Place, where he used to live at one time when he was a student, the dear grey sky, the drizzling rain, the drenched cabmen. . . .
He imagined how he would board the steamer, have some lunch, drink cold beer, chat on deck with ladies, then catch the train at Sevastopol and be on his way. Hooray for freedom! One station after another would pass by, the air would get colder and sharper, then the birches and fir trees, then Kursk, Moscow... In the restaurants, there would be cabbage soup, mutton with kasha, sturgeon, beer—no more Asiatic influence, but Russia, real Russia. The passengers on the train would discuss trade, new singers, the Franco-Russian entente; everywhere, there would be a sense of vibrant, cultured, intellectual, eager life... Hurry on! Finally, Nevsky Prospect, Great Morskaya Street, and then Kovensky Place, where he used to live as a student, the familiar grey sky, the drizzling rain, the soaked cab drivers...
“Ivan Andreitch!” some one called from the next room. “Are you at home?”
“Ivan Andreitch!” someone called from the next room. “Are you there?”
“I’m here,” Laevsky responded. “What do you want?”
“I’m here,” Laevsky replied. “What do you need?”
“Papers.”
"Documents."
Laevsky got up languidly, feeling giddy, walked into the other room, yawning and shuffling with his slippers. There, at the open window that looked into the street, stood one of his young fellow-clerks, laying out some government documents on the window-sill.
Laevsky got up slowly, feeling dizzy, walked into the other room, yawning and shuffling in his slippers. There, at the open window that faced the street, stood one of his young colleagues, spreading out some government documents on the window sill.
“One minute, my dear fellow,” Laevsky said softly, and he went to look for the ink; returning to the window, he signed the papers without looking at them, and said: “It’s hot!”
“One minute, my friend,” Laevsky said softly, and he went to find the ink; returning to the window, he signed the papers without looking at them, and said: “It’s so hot!”
“Yes. Are you coming to-day?”
“Yes. Are you coming today?”
“I don’t think so. . . . I’m not quite well. Tell Sheshkovsky that I will come and see him after dinner.”
“I don’t think so... I’m not feeling well. Tell Sheshkovsky that I’ll come see him after dinner.”
The clerk went away. Laevsky lay down on his sofa again and began thinking:
The clerk left. Laevsky lay back down on his sofa and started to think:
“And so I must weigh all the circumstances and reflect on them. Before I go away from here I ought to pay up my debts. I owe about two thousand roubles. I have no money. . . . Of course, that’s not important; I shall pay part now, somehow, and I shall send the rest, later, from Petersburg. The chief point is Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. . . . First of all we must define our relations. . . . Yes.”
“And so I need to consider all the circumstances and think them through. Before I leave here, I should settle my debts. I owe about two thousand rubles. I don’t have any money... Of course, that’s not a big deal; I’ll pay a part now, somehow, and I’ll send the rest later from Petersburg. The main issue is Nadyezhda Fyodorovna... First, we need to clarify our relationship... Yes.”
A little later he was considering whether it would not be better to go to Samoylenko for advice.
A little later, he was wondering if it would be better to go to Samoylenko for advice.
“I might go,” he thought, “but what use would there be in it? I shall only say something inappropriate about boudoirs, about women, about what is honest or dishonest. What’s the use of talking about what is honest or dishonest, if I must make haste to save my life, if I am suffocating in this cursed slavery and am killing myself? . . . One must realise at last that to go on leading the life I do is something so base and so cruel that everything else seems petty and trivial beside it. To run away,” he muttered, sitting down, “to run away.”
“I could go,” he thought, “but what would be the point? I’d just end up saying something inappropriate about boudoirs, about women, about what’s honest or dishonest. What’s the point of discussing honesty if I have to rush to save my life, if I’m suffocating in this damned slavery and destroying myself? . . . I have to realize that continuing to live this way is so degrading and cruel that everything else feels petty and insignificant compared to it. To escape,” he mumbled, sitting down, “to escape.”
The deserted seashore, the insatiable heat, and the monotony of the smoky lilac mountains, ever the same and silent, everlastingly solitary, overwhelmed him with depression, and, as it were, made him drowsy and sapped his energy. He was perhaps very clever, talented, remarkably honest; perhaps if the sea and the mountains had not closed him in on all sides, he might have become an excellent Zemstvo leader, a statesman, an orator, a political writer, a saint. Who knows? If so, was it not stupid to argue whether it were honest or dishonest when a gifted and useful man—an artist or musician, for instance—to escape from prison, breaks a wall and deceives his jailers? Anything is honest when a man is in such a position.
The empty beach, the relentless heat, and the dullness of the smoky lilac mountains, always the same and quiet, eternally alone, weighed him down with sadness and made him feel drowsy and drained his energy. He might have been very smart, talented, and truly honest; maybe if the sea and the mountains hadn’t surrounded him on all sides, he could have become a great Zemstvo leader, a statesman, an orator, a political writer, or even a saint. Who knows? If that’s the case, wasn't it foolish to debate whether it was honest or dishonest when a gifted and valuable person—an artist or musician, for example—breaks through a wall and tricks his captors to escape from prison? Anything can be considered honest when someone is in such a situation.
At two o’clock Laevsky and Nadyezhda Fyodorovna sat down to dinner. When the cook gave them rice and tomato soup, Laevsky said:
At two o'clock, Laevsky and Nadyezhda Fyodorovna sat down for dinner. When the cook served them rice and tomato soup, Laevsky said:
“The same thing every day. Why not have cabbage soup?”
“The same thing every day. Why not have cabbage soup?”
“There are no cabbages.”
"No cabbages available."
“It’s strange. Samoylenko has cabbage soup and Marya Konstantinovna has cabbage soup, and only I am obliged to eat this mawkish mess. We can’t go on like this, darling.”
“It’s weird. Samoylenko has cabbage soup and Marya Konstantinovna has cabbage soup, and I’m the only one stuck eating this mushy stuff. We can’t keep doing this, babe.”
As is common with the vast majority of husbands and wives, not a single dinner had in earlier days passed without scenes and fault-finding between Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and Laevsky; but ever since Laevsky had made up his mind that he did not love her, he had tried to give way to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna in everything, spoke to her gently and politely, smiled, and called her “darling.”
As is typical for most married couples, not a single dinner in the past had gone by without arguments and complaints between Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and Laevsky. However, ever since Laevsky decided he didn’t love her, he had made an effort to accommodate Nadyezhda Fyodorovna in everything, spoke to her softly and courteously, smiled, and referred to her as “darling.”
“This soup tastes like liquorice,” he said, smiling; he made an effort to control himself and seem amiable, but could not refrain from saying: “Nobody looks after the housekeeping. . . . If you are too ill or busy with reading, let me look after the cooking.”
“This soup tastes like licorice,” he said with a smile; he tried to keep himself composed and appear friendly, but couldn't help adding: “No one is taking care of the housekeeping... If you’re too sick or caught up in reading, let me handle the cooking.”
In earlier days she would have said to him, “Do by all means,” or, “I see you want to turn me into a cook”; but now she only looked at him timidly and flushed crimson.
In the past, she would have said to him, “Go right ahead,” or, “I see you want me to be a cook”; but now she just looked at him shyly and turned bright red.
“Well, how do you feel to-day?” he asked kindly.
“Well, how do you feel today?” he asked kindly.
“I am all right to-day. There is nothing but a little weakness.”
“I’m feeling okay today. Just a bit weak.”
“You must take care of yourself, darling. I am awfully anxious about you.”
“You need to look after yourself, sweetheart. I'm really worried about you.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was ill in some way. Samoylenko said she had intermittent fever, and gave her quinine; the other doctor, Ustimovitch, a tall, lean, unsociable man, who used to sit at home in the daytime, and in the evenings walk slowly up and down on the sea-front coughing, with his hands folded behind him and a cane stretched along his back, was of opinion that she had a female complaint, and prescribed warm compresses. In old days, when Laevsky loved her, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s illness had excited his pity and terror; now he saw falsity even in her illness. Her yellow, sleepy face, her lustreless eyes, her apathetic expression, and the yawning that always followed her attacks of fever, and the fact that during them she lay under a shawl and looked more like a boy than a woman, and that it was close and stuffy in her room—all this, in his opinion, destroyed the illusion and was an argument against love and marriage.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was unwell in some way. Samoylenko said she had a fever that came and went, and he treated her with quinine; the other doctor, Ustimovitch, a tall, thin, unfriendly man, who spent his days at home and in the evenings walked slowly along the seafront coughing, with his hands behind him and a cane resting along his back, believed she had a female issue and suggested warm compresses. In the past, when Laevsky was in love with her, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s illness had filled him with pity and fear; now he saw insincerity even in her sickness. Her yellow, weary face, her dull eyes, her indifferent expression, and the yawning that consistently followed her fever attacs, along with the way she lay under a shawl and looked more like a boy than a woman, and the stuffy atmosphere in her room—all of this, in his view, shattered the illusion and served as an argument against love and marriage.
The next dish given him was spinach with hard-boiled eggs, while Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, as an invalid, had jelly and milk. When with a preoccupied face she touched the jelly with a spoon and then began languidly eating it, sipping milk, and he heard her swallowing, he was possessed by such an overwhelming aversion that it made his head tingle. He recognised that such a feeling would be an insult even to a dog, but he was angry, not with himself but with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, for arousing such a feeling, and he understood why lovers sometimes murder their mistresses. He would not murder her, of course, but if he had been on a jury now, he would have acquitted the murderer.
The next dish he was served was spinach with hard-boiled eggs, while Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, being an invalid, had jelly and milk. As her face reflected deep thought, she touched the jelly with a spoon and then slowly started eating it, sipping milk, and he could hear her swallowing. This caused him such intense disgust that it made his head throb. He realized that feeling this way would be an insult to even a dog, but he was angry, not with himself but with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna for provoking such a reaction. He understood why lovers sometimes resort to murder against their partners. He would never actually kill her, of course, but if he were on a jury right now, he would have voted to acquit the murderer.
“Merci, darling,” he said after dinner, and kissed Nadyezhda Fyodorovna on the forehead.
“Thanks, darling,” he said after dinner, and kissed Nadyezhda Fyodorovna on the forehead.
Going back into his study, he spent five minutes in walking to and fro, looking at his boots; then he sat down on his sofa and muttered:
Going back into his study, he spent five minutes pacing back and forth, looking at his shoes; then he sat down on his couch and muttered:
“Run away, run away! We must define the position and run away!”
“Run away, run away! We need to figure out our position and get out of here!”
He lay down on the sofa and recalled again that Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s husband had died, perhaps, by his fault.
He lay down on the sofa and remembered again that Nadyezhda Fyodorovna's husband had died, maybe because of him.
“To blame a man for loving a woman, or ceasing to love a woman, is stupid,” he persuaded himself, lying down and raising his legs in order to put on his high boots. “Love and hatred are not under our control. As for her husband, maybe I was in an indirect way one of the causes of his death; but again, is it my fault that I fell in love with his wife and she with me?”
“To blame a guy for loving a woman, or for stopping loving her, is just dumb,” he convinced himself, lying down and lifting his legs to put on his high boots. “Love and hate aren't things we can control. As for her husband, maybe I was indirectly one of the reasons he died; but then again, is it my fault that I fell in love with his wife and she loved me back?”
Then he got up, and finding his cap, set off to the lodgings of his colleague, Sheshkovsky, where the Government clerks met every day to play vint and drink beer.
Then he got up, found his cap, and headed to his colleague Sheshkovsky's place, where the government clerks gathered every day to play vint and drink beer.
“My indecision reminds me of Hamlet,” thought Laevsky on the way. “How truly Shakespeare describes it! Ah, how truly!”
“My indecision makes me think of Hamlet,” Laevsky reflected on the way. “How accurately Shakespeare captures it! Ah, how accurately!”
III
For the sake of sociability and from sympathy for the hard plight of newcomers without families, who, as there was not an hotel in the town, had nowhere to dine, Dr. Samoylenko kept a sort of table d’hôte. At this time there were only two men who habitually dined with him: a young zoologist called Von Koren, who had come for the summer to the Black Sea to study the embryology of the medusa, and a deacon called Pobyedov, who had only just left the seminary and been sent to the town to take the duty of the old deacon who had gone away for a cure. Each of them paid twelve roubles a month for their dinner and supper, and Samoylenko made them promise to turn up at two o’clock punctually.
For the sake of socializing and out of empathy for the newcomers without families, who had nowhere to eat since there was no hotel in town, Dr. Samoylenko hosted a kind of communal dining. At this time, only two men regularly dined with him: a young zoologist named Von Koren, who had come to the Black Sea for the summer to study the embryology of the jellyfish, and a deacon named Pobyedov, who had just left seminary and been sent to the town to replace the old deacon who had gone away for treatment. Each of them paid twelve roubles a month for their dinner and supper, and Samoylenko insisted that they arrive promptly at two o’clock.
Von Koren was usually the first to appear. He sat down in the drawing-room in silence, and taking an album from the table, began attentively scrutinising the faded photographs of unknown men in full trousers and top-hats, and ladies in crinolines and caps. Samoylenko only remembered a few of them by name, and of those whom he had forgotten he said with a sigh: “A very fine fellow, remarkably intelligent!” When he had finished with the album, Von Koren took a pistol from the whatnot, and screwing up his left eye, took deliberate aim at the portrait of Prince Vorontsov, or stood still at the looking-glass and gazed a long time at his swarthy face, his big forehead, and his black hair, which curled like a negro’s, and his shirt of dull-coloured cotton with big flowers on it like a Persian rug, and the broad leather belt he wore instead of a waistcoat. The contemplation of his own image seemed to afford him almost more satisfaction than looking at photographs or playing with the pistols. He was very well satisfied with his face, and his becomingly clipped beard, and the broad shoulders, which were unmistakable evidence of his excellent health and physical strength. He was satisfied, too, with his stylish get-up, from the cravat, which matched the colour of his shirt, down to his brown boots.
Von Koren was usually the first to show up. He quietly sat down in the drawing-room and picked up an album from the table, carefully examining the faded photographs of unfamiliar men in baggy trousers and top hats, and women in crinolines and bonnets. Samoylenko could only remember a few of them by name, and for those he had forgotten, he sighed and said, “A really great guy, remarkably smart!” Once he finished with the album, Von Koren grabbed a pistol from the shelf, squinting with his left eye as he aimed deliberately at the portrait of Prince Vorontsov. He also stood still in front of the mirror, staring for a long time at his dark complexion, large forehead, and tightly curled black hair, along with his plain cotton shirt covered in big floral designs like a Persian rug, and the broad leather belt he wore instead of a waistcoat. Watching his own reflection seemed to give him even more satisfaction than looking at the photos or playing with the pistols. He felt very pleased with his face, his neatly trimmed beard, and his broad shoulders, which were clear signs of his great health and physical prowess. He was also happy with his stylish outfit, from the cravat that matched his shirt to his brown boots.
While he was looking at the album and standing before the glass, at that moment, in the kitchen and in the passage near, Samoylenko, without his coat and waistcoat, with his neck bare, excited and bathed in perspiration, was bustling about the tables, mixing the salad, or making some sauce, or preparing meat, cucumbers, and onion for the cold soup, while he glared fiercely at the orderly who was helping him, and brandished first a knife and then a spoon at him.
While he was looking at the album and standing in front of the mirror, at that moment, in the kitchen and the nearby hallway, Samoylenko, without his coat and vest, with his neck exposed, excited and sweating, was rushing around the tables, mixing the salad, making some sauce, or preparing meat, cucumbers, and onions for the cold soup, while he glared fiercely at the orderly who was assisting him, brandishing a knife first and then a spoon at him.
“Give me the vinegar!” he said. “That’s not the vinegar—it’s the salad oil!” he shouted, stamping. “Where are you off to, you brute?”
“Give me the vinegar!” he said. “That’s not vinegar—it’s salad oil!” he yelled, stomping his foot. “Where are you going, you jerk?”
“To get the butter, Your Excellency,” answered the flustered orderly in a cracked voice.
“To get the butter, Your Excellency,” replied the flustered aide in a shaky voice.
“Make haste; it’s in the cupboard! And tell Daria to put some fennel in the jar with the cucumbers! Fennel! Cover the cream up, gaping laggard, or the flies will get into it!”
“Hurry up; it’s in the cupboard! And tell Daria to add some fennel to the jar with the cucumbers! Fennel! Cover the cream, slowpoke, or the flies will get into it!”
And the whole house seemed resounding with his shouts. When it was ten or fifteen minutes to two the deacon would come in; he was a lanky young man of twenty-two, with long hair, with no beard and a hardly perceptible moustache. Going into the drawing-room, he crossed himself before the ikon, smiled, and held out his hand to Von Koren.
And the whole house echoed with his shouts. When it was about ten or fifteen minutes to two, the deacon walked in; he was a tall, skinny guy of twenty-two with long hair, no beard, and a barely noticeable mustache. Entering the drawing-room, he crossed himself in front of the icon, smiled, and extended his hand to Von Koren.
“Good-morning,” the zoologist said coldly. “Where have you been?”
“Good morning,” the zoologist said flatly. “Where have you been?”
“I’ve been catching sea-gudgeon in the harbour.”
“I’ve been catching sea-gudgeon in the harbor.”
“Oh, of course. . . . Evidently, deacon, you will never be busy with work.”
“Oh, of course... Apparently, deacon, you’ll never have anything to do.”
“Why not? Work is not like a bear; it doesn’t run off into the woods,” said the deacon, smiling and thrusting his hands into the very deep pockets of his white cassock.
“Why not? Work isn't like a bear; it doesn’t just run off into the woods,” said the deacon, smiling and putting his hands into the deep pockets of his white robe.
“There’s no one to whip you!” sighed the zoologist.
“There’s no one to whip you!” sighed the zoologist.
Another fifteen or twenty minutes passed and they were not called to dinner, and they could still hear the orderly running into the kitchen and back again, noisily treading with his boots, and Samoylenko shouting:
Another fifteen or twenty minutes went by, and they still hadn’t been called to dinner. They could hear the orderly rushing in and out of the kitchen, stomping around in his boots, with Samoylenko yelling:
“Put it on the table! Where are your wits? Wash it first.”
“Put it on the table! Where's your common sense? Wash it first.”
The famished deacon and Von Koren began tapping on the floor with their heels, expressing in this way their impatience like the audience at a theatre. At last the door opened and the harassed orderly announced that dinner was ready! In the dining-room they were met by Samoylenko, crimson in the face, wrathful, perspiring from the heat of the kitchen; he looked at them furiously, and with an expression of horror, took the lid off the soup tureen and helped each of them to a plateful; and only when he was convinced that they were eating it with relish and liked it, he gave a sigh of relief and settled himself in his deep arm-chair. His face looked blissful and his eyes grew moist. . . . He deliberately poured himself out a glass of vodka and said:
The hungry deacon and Von Koren started tapping their heels on the floor, showing their impatience like an audience at a theater. Finally, the door opened, and the stressed-out orderly announced that dinner was ready! In the dining room, they were greeted by Samoylenko, his face red, angry, and sweating from the heat of the kitchen; he looked at them angrily and with a look of horror, lifted the lid off the soup tureen and served each of them a plateful. Only when he was sure they were enjoying it did he let out a sigh of relief and settle into his deep armchair. His face looked blissful, and his eyes became watery... He intentionally poured himself a glass of vodka and said:
“To the health of the younger generation.”
“To the health of the younger generation.”
After his conversation with Laevsky, from early morning till dinner Samoylenko had been conscious of a load at his heart, although he was in the best of humours; he felt sorry for Laevsky and wanted to help him. After drinking a glass of vodka before the soup, he heaved a sigh and said:
After his conversation with Laevsky, from early morning until dinner, Samoylenko felt a weight on his heart, even though he was in a great mood; he felt sorry for Laevsky and wanted to help him. After having a glass of vodka before the soup, he sighed and said:
“I saw Vanya Laevsky to-day. He is having a hard time of it, poor fellow! The material side of life is not encouraging for him, and the worst of it is all this psychology is too much for him. I’m sorry for the lad.”
“I saw Vanya Laevsky today. He's really struggling, poor guy! The practical side of life isn't going well for him, and on top of that, all this psychology is overwhelming for him. I feel bad for the guy.”
“Well, that is a person I am not sorry for,” said Von Koren. “If that charming individual were drowning, I would push him under with a stick and say, ‘Drown, brother, drown away.’ . . .”
“Well, that’s someone I don’t feel bad for,” said Von Koren. “If that charming person were drowning, I’d poke him under with a stick and say, ‘Drown, brother, drown away.’ . . .”
“That’s untrue. You wouldn’t do it.”
"That's not true. You wouldn't do that."
“Why do you think that?” The zoologist shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just as capable of a good action as you are.”
"Why do you think that?" The zoologist shrugged. "I'm just as capable of doing something good as you are."
“Is drowning a man a good action?” asked the deacon, and he laughed.
“Is drowning a guy a good thing to do?” asked the deacon, laughing.
“Laevsky? Yes.”
“Is that Laevsky? Yes.”
“I think there is something amiss with the soup . . .” said Samoylenko, anxious to change the conversation.
“I think there’s something wrong with the soup . . .” said Samoylenko, anxious to change the topic.
“Laevsky is absolutely pernicious and is as dangerous to society as the cholera microbe,” Von Koren went on. “To drown him would be a service.”
“Laevsky is completely harmful and just as dangerous to society as the cholera germ,” Von Koren continued. “Drowning him would be a favor.”
“It does not do you credit to talk like that about your neighbour. Tell us: what do you hate him for?”
“It’s not right to speak about your neighbor like that. Tell us: what do you hate him for?”
“Don’t talk nonsense, doctor. To hate and despise a microbe is stupid, but to look upon everybody one meets without distinction as one’s neighbour, whatever happens—thanks very much, that is equivalent to giving up criticism, renouncing a straightforward attitude to people, washing one’s hands of responsibility, in fact! I consider your Laevsky a blackguard; I do not conceal it, and I am perfectly conscientious in treating him as such. Well, you look upon him as your neighbour—and you may kiss him if you like: you look upon him as your neighbour, and that means that your attitude to him is the same as to me and to the deacon; that is no attitude at all. You are equally indifferent to all.”
“Don’t talk nonsense, doctor. It’s foolish to hate and look down on a microbe, but seeing everyone you meet as your neighbor—no matter what—thanks very much, that’s just giving up on criticism, abandoning an honest stance towards people, and washing your hands of responsibility altogether! I think your Laevsky is a scoundrel; I’m not hiding it, and I’m totally honest in treating him that way. Well, you see him as your neighbor—and you can kiss him if you want. To you, he’s just like me and the deacon; that’s not a genuine attitude. You’re indifferent to everyone.”
“To call a man a blackguard!” muttered Samoylenko, frowning with distaste—“that is so wrong that I can’t find words for it!”
“To call a man a scoundrel!” muttered Samoylenko, frowning in disgust—“that is so wrong that I can't even find the words for it!”
“People are judged by their actions,” Von Koren continued. “Now you decide, deacon. . . . I am going to talk to you, deacon. Mr. Laevsky’s career lies open before you, like a long Chinese puzzle, and you can read it from beginning to end. What has he been doing these two years that he has been living here? We will reckon his doings on our fingers. First, he has taught the inhabitants of the town to play vint: two years ago that game was unknown here; now they all play it from morning till late at night, even the women and the boys. Secondly, he has taught the residents to drink beer, which was not known here either; the inhabitants are indebted to him for the knowledge of various sorts of spirits, so that now they can distinguish Kospelov’s vodka from Smirnov’s No. 21, blindfold. Thirdly, in former days, people here made love to other men’s wives in secret, from the same motives as thieves steal in secret and not openly; adultery was considered something they were ashamed to make a public display of. Laevsky has come as a pioneer in that line; he lives with another man’s wife openly. . . . Fourthly . . .”
“People are judged by their actions,” Von Koren continued. “Now you decide, deacon. . . . I’m going to talk to you, deacon. Mr. Laevsky’s life is laid out in front of you, like a long Chinese puzzle, and you can read it from start to finish. What has he been doing these two years that he’s been living here? Let’s count his actions. First, he taught the townspeople to play vint: two years ago, no one here knew about that game; now everyone plays it from morning until late at night, even the women and kids. Secondly, he introduced the residents to beer, which was also unfamiliar here; they owe it to him for knowing different types of alcohol, so now they can tell Kospelov’s vodka from Smirnov’s No. 21, even when blindfolded. Thirdly, in the past, people here would secretly flirt with other men’s wives, just like thieves steal in secret and not out in the open; adultery was seen as something to be ashamed of and hidden from view. Laevsky has broken that mold; he openly lives with another man’s wife. . . . Fourthly . . .”
Von Koren hurriedly ate up his soup and gave his plate to the orderly.
Von Koren quickly finished his soup and handed his plate to the orderly.
“I understood Laevsky from the first month of our acquaintance,” he went on, addressing the deacon. “We arrived here at the same time. Men like him are very fond of friendship, intimacy, solidarity, and all the rest of it, because they always want company for vint, drinking, and eating; besides, they are talkative and must have listeners. We made friends—that is, he turned up every day, hindered me working, and indulged in confidences in regard to his mistress. From the first he struck me by his exceptional falsity, which simply made me sick. As a friend I pitched into him, asking him why he drank too much, why he lived beyond his means and got into debt, why he did nothing and read nothing, why he had so little culture and so little knowledge; and in answer to all my questions he used to smile bitterly, sigh, and say: ‘I am a failure, a superfluous man’; or: ‘What do you expect, my dear fellow, from us, the debris of the serf-owning class?’ or: ‘We are degenerate. . . .’ Or he would begin a long rigmarole about Onyegin, Petchorin, Byron’s Cain, and Bazarov, of whom he would say: ‘They are our fathers in flesh and in spirit.’ So we are to understand that it was not his fault that Government envelopes lay unopened in his office for weeks together, and that he drank and taught others to drink, but Onyegin, Petchorin, and Turgenev, who had invented the failure and the superfluous man, were responsible for it. The cause of his extreme dissoluteness and unseemliness lies, do you see, not in himself, but somewhere outside in space. And so—an ingenious idea!—it is not only he who is dissolute, false, and disgusting, but we . . . ‘we men of the eighties,’ ‘we the spiritless, nervous offspring of the serf-owning class’; ‘civilisation has crippled us’ . . . in fact, we are to understand that such a great man as Laevsky is great even in his fall: that his dissoluteness, his lack of culture and of moral purity, is a phenomenon of natural history, sanctified by inevitability; that the causes of it are world-wide, elemental; and that we ought to hang up a lamp before Laevsky, since he is the fated victim of the age, of influences, of heredity, and so on. All the officials and their ladies were in ecstasies when they listened to him, and I could not make out for a long time what sort of man I had to deal with, a cynic or a clever rogue. Such types as he, on the surface intellectual with a smattering of education and a great deal of talk about their own nobility, are very clever in posing as exceptionally complex natures.”
“I got Laevsky from the first month we met,” he continued, talking to the deacon. “We arrived here at the same time. Guys like him really enjoy friendship, closeness, and camaraderie because they always want company for drinking and eating; plus, they love to talk and need someone to listen. We became friends—that is, he showed up every day, interrupted my work, and shared his secrets about his girlfriend. Right from the beginning, I was struck by his extreme dishonesty, which made me feel sick. As a friend, I confronted him, asking why he drank too much, why he lived beyond his means and got into debt, why he did nothing and read nothing, and why he had so little culture and knowledge; in response to all my questions, he would smile bitterly, sigh, and say: ‘I’m a failure, a superfluous man’; or: ‘What do you expect from us, the leftovers of the serf-owning class?’ or: ‘We are degenerate...’ Or he would launch into a long rant about Onyegin, Petchorin, Byron’s Cain, and Bazarov, saying: ‘They are our fathers in body and spirit.’ So we’re supposed to believe that it’s not his fault that government papers sat unopened in his office for weeks, and that he drank and encouraged others to drink, but it’s Onyegin, Petchorin, and Turgenev, who came up with the idea of the failure and the superfluous man, who are to blame. He argues that his total moral decay and poor behavior are not his fault but rather something external. And so—what a clever idea!—it’s not just him who is dissolute, dishonest, and revolting, but it’s all of us... ‘we men of the eighties,’ ‘we the spiritless, nervous descendants of the serf-owning class’; ‘civilization has crippled us’... in reality, we’re expected to believe that such a significant figure as Laevsky is still great in his downfall: that his immorality, lack of culture, and moral corruption are natural phenomena, justified by inevitability; that the causes are global, elemental; and that we should honor Laevsky, as he is the doomed victim of his time, of influences, of heredity, and so on. All the officials and their ladies were raving when they listened to him, and for a long time, I couldn’t figure out what kind of person he really was, a cynic or a clever fraud. People like him, who seem intellectual with a bit of education and a lot of talk about their own nobility, are really skilled at projecting themselves as exceptionally complicated characters.”
“Hold your tongue!” Samoylenko flared up. “I will not allow a splendid fellow to be spoken ill of in my presence!”
“Be quiet!” Samoylenko snapped. “I won’t let anyone speak badly about a great guy in front of me!”
“Don’t interrupt, Alexandr Daviditch,” said Von Koren coldly; “I am just finishing. Laevsky is by no means a complex organism. Here is his moral skeleton: in the morning, slippers, a bathe, and coffee; then till dinner-time, slippers, a constitutional, and conversation; at two o’clock slippers, dinner, and wine; at five o’clock a bathe, tea and wine, then vint and lying; at ten o’clock supper and wine; and after midnight sleep and la femme. His existence is confined within this narrow programme like an egg within its shell. Whether he walks or sits, is angry, writes, rejoices, it may all be reduced to wine, cards, slippers, and women. Woman plays a fatal, overwhelming part in his life. He tells us himself that at thirteen he was in love; that when he was a student in his first year he was living with a lady who had a good influence over him, and to whom he was indebted for his musical education. In his second year he bought a prostitute from a brothel and raised her to his level—that is, took her as his kept mistress, and she lived with him for six months and then ran away back to the brothel-keeper, and her flight caused him much spiritual suffering. Alas! his sufferings were so great that he had to leave the university and spend two years at home doing nothing. But this was all for the best. At home he made friends with a widow who advised him to leave the Faculty of Jurisprudence and go into the Faculty of Arts. And so he did. When he had taken his degree, he fell passionately in love with his present . . . what’s her name? . . . married lady, and was obliged to flee with her here to the Caucasus for the sake of his ideals, he would have us believe, seeing that . . . to-morrow, if not to-day, he will be tired of her and flee back again to Petersburg, and that, too, will be for the sake of his ideals.”
“Don’t interrupt, Alexandr Daviditch,” Von Koren said coldly; “I’m just finishing. Laevsky isn’t a complicated person. Here’s his moral routine: in the morning, he wears slippers, takes a bath, and drinks coffee; then until dinner, he wears slippers, goes for a walk, and chats; at two o’clock, it’s slippers, dinner, and wine; at five o’clock, another bath, tea and wine, then a bit of downtime and lounging; at ten o’clock, supper and more wine; and after midnight, sleep and a woman. His life is constrained within this tight schedule like an egg inside its shell. Whether he’s walking or sitting, getting angry, writing, or feeling happy, it can all be summed up as wine, cards, slippers, and women. Women play a crucial, dominating role in his life. He has told us that at thirteen he was in love; that when he was a first-year student, he lived with a woman who positively influenced him and helped him with his musical education. In his second year, he bought a prostitute from a brothel and elevated her to his level—that is, he made her his mistress, and she stayed with him for six months before going back to her pimp, which caused him a lot of emotional pain. Unfortunately, his anguish was so intense that he had to withdraw from university and spent two years at home doing nothing. But it turned out to be the best thing. While at home, he befriended a widow who advised him to change from the Faculty of Law to the Faculty of Arts. So he did. After graduating, he fell head over heels for his current... what’s her name?... married woman, and felt he had to escape with her here to the Caucasus for the sake of his ideals, or so he would have us believe, since... tomorrow, if not today, he’ll likely grow tired of her and run back to Petersburg, and that, too, will be for his ideals.”
“How do you know?” growled Samoylenko, looking angrily at the zoologist. “You had better eat your dinner.”
“How do you know?” Samoylenko snapped, glaring at the zoologist. “You should probably eat your dinner.”
The next course consisted of boiled mullet with Polish sauce. Samoylenko helped each of his companions to a whole mullet and poured out the sauce with his own hand. Two minutes passed in silence.
The next course was boiled mullet with Polish sauce. Samoylenko served each of his friends a whole mullet and poured the sauce himself. Two minutes went by in silence.
“Woman plays an essential part in the life of every man,” said the deacon. “You can’t help that.”
“Women play a crucial role in every man's life,” said the deacon. “You can't change that.”
“Yes, but to what degree? For each of us woman means mother, sister, wife, friend. To Laevsky she is everything, and at the same time nothing but a mistress. She—that is, cohabitation with her— is the happiness and object of his life; he is gay, sad, bored, disenchanted—on account of woman; his life grows disagreeable —woman is to blame; the dawn of a new life begins to glow, ideals turn up—and again look for the woman. . . . He only derives enjoyment from books and pictures in which there is woman. Our age is, to his thinking, poor and inferior to the forties and the sixties only because we do not know how to abandon ourselves obviously to the passion and ecstasy of love. These voluptuaries must have in their brains a special growth of the nature of sarcoma, which stifles the brain and directs their whole psychology. Watch Laevsky when he is sitting anywhere in company. You notice: when one raises any general question in his presence, for instance, about the cell or instinct, he sits apart, and neither speaks nor listens; he looks languid and disillusioned; nothing has any interest for him, everything is vulgar and trivial. But as soon as you speak of male and female—for instance, of the fact that the female spider, after fertilisation, devours the male—his eyes glow with curiosity, his face brightens, and the man revives, in fact. All his thoughts, however noble, lofty, or neutral they may be, they all have one point of resemblance. You walk along the street with him and meet a donkey, for instance. . . . ‘Tell me, please,’ he asks, ‘what would happen if you mated a donkey with a camel?’ And his dreams! Has he told you of his dreams? It is magnificent! First, he dreams that he is married to the moon, then that he is summoned before the police and ordered to live with a guitar . . .”
“Yes, but to what extent? For each of us, a woman represents a mother, sister, wife, and friend. To Laevsky, she is everything, yet at the same time, just a lover. She—meaning being with her—is the happiness and focus of his life; he feels happy, sad, bored, and disillusioned—because of women. His life becomes unpleasant—women are to blame; a new life is beginning to take shape, ideals emerge—and again he seeks out women. He only finds pleasure in books and art that feature women. In his view, our time is poor and inferior to the forties and sixties simply because we aren't able to fully surrender to the passion and ecstasy of love. These hedonists must have some sort of abnormal growth in their brains, like a sarcoma, that stifles thought and shapes their entire psychology. Watch Laevsky when he's with others. You'll notice that when someone raises a general topic in his presence, like cells or instincts, he zones out—he neither speaks nor listens; he appears tired and jaded; nothing interests him, everything seems common and unremarkable. But as soon as you mention anything about men and women—for example, that the female spider eats the male after mating—his eyes light up with curiosity, his expression brightens, and he comes alive. All his thoughts, no matter how noble, high-minded, or neutral, share one common theme. You're walking down the street with him and see a donkey for instance... ‘Can you tell me,’ he asks, ‘what would happen if you mated a donkey with a camel?’ And his dreams! Has he shared his dreams with you? They're fantastic! First, he dreams that he's married to the moon, then that he's summoned by the police and told to live with a guitar…”
The deacon burst into resounding laughter; Samoylenko frowned and wrinkled up his face angrily so as not to laugh, but could not restrain himself, and laughed.
The deacon broke into loud laughter; Samoylenko scowled and scrunched up his face angrily to avoid laughing, but he couldn't hold it in and started laughing too.
“And it’s all nonsense!” he said, wiping his tears. “Yes, by Jove, it’s nonsense!”
“And it's all nonsense!” he said, wiping his tears. “Yeah, by God, it’s nonsense!”
IV
The deacon was very easily amused, and laughed at every trifle till he got a stitch in his side, till he was helpless. It seemed as though he only liked to be in people’s company because there was a ridiculous side to them, and because they might be given ridiculous nicknames. He had nicknamed Samoylenko “the tarantula,” his orderly “the drake,” and was in ecstasies when on one occasion Von Koren spoke of Laevsky and Nadyezhda Fyodorovna as “Japanese monkeys.” He watched people’s faces greedily, listened without blinking, and it could be seen that his eyes filled with laughter and his face was tense with expectation of the moment when he could let himself go and burst into laughter.
The deacon was easily entertained, laughing at everything trivial until he got a stitch in his side and became helpless. It seemed like he only enjoyed being around people because they had a silly side, and he could give them ridiculous nicknames. He had called Samoylenko “the tarantula,” his orderly “the drake,” and he was ecstatic when Von Koren once referred to Laevsky and Nadyezhda Fyodorovna as “Japanese monkeys.” He watched people's faces intently, listened without blinking, and it was clear that his eyes sparkled with laughter and his face was tense with the anticipation of when he could finally let loose and laugh out loud.
“He is a corrupt and depraved type,” the zoologist continued, while the deacon kept his eyes riveted on his face, expecting he would say something funny. “It is not often one can meet with such a nonentity. In body he is inert, feeble, prematurely old, while in intellect he differs in no respect from a fat shopkeeper’s wife who does nothing but eat, drink, and sleep on a feather-bed, and who keeps her coachman as a lover.”
“He's a corrupt and depraved guy,” the zoologist continued, while the deacon kept his eyes locked on his face, expecting him to say something funny. “It's not often you come across such a nobody. Physically, he's inactive, weak, and looks old before his time, while mentally, he’s no different from a lazy shopkeeper's wife who just eats, drinks, and sleeps on a comfy bed, and keeps her chauffeur as a lover.”
The deacon began guffawing again.
The deacon started laughing again.
“Don’t laugh, deacon,” said Von Koren. “It grows stupid, at last. I should not have paid attention to his insignificance,” he went on, after waiting till the deacon had left off laughing; “I should have passed him by if he were not so noxious and dangerous. His noxiousness lies first of all in the fact that he has great success with women, and so threatens to leave descendants—that is, to present the world with a dozen Laevskys as feeble and as depraved as himself. Secondly, he is in the highest degree contaminating. I have spoken to you already of vint and beer. In another year or two he will dominate the whole Caucasian coast. You know how the mass, especially its middle stratum, believe in intellectuality, in a university education, in gentlemanly manners, and in literary language. Whatever filthy thing he did, they would all believe that it was as it should be, since he is an intellectual man, of liberal ideas and university education. What is more, he is a failure, a superfluous man, a neurasthenic, a victim of the age, and that means he can do anything. He is a charming fellow, a regular good sort, he is so genuinely indulgent to human weaknesses; he is compliant, accommodating, easy and not proud; one can drink with him and gossip and talk evil of people. . . . The masses, always inclined to anthropomorphism in religion and morals, like best of all the little gods who have the same weaknesses as themselves. Only think what a wide field he has for contamination! Besides, he is not a bad actor and is a clever hypocrite, and knows very well how to twist things round. Only take his little shifts and dodges, his attitude to civilisation, for instance. He has scarcely sniffed at civilisation, yet: ‘Ah, how we have been crippled by civilisation! Ah, how I envy those savages, those children of nature, who know nothing of civilisation!’ We are to understand, you see, that at one time, in ancient days, he has been devoted to civilisation with his whole soul, has served it, has sounded it to its depths, but it has exhausted him, disillusioned him, deceived him; he is a Faust, do you see?—a second Tolstoy. . . . As for Schopenhauer and Spencer, he treats them like small boys and slaps them on the shoulder in a fatherly way: ‘Well, what do you say, old Spencer?’ He has not read Spencer, of course, but how charming he is when with light, careless irony he says of his lady friend: ‘She has read Spencer!’ And they all listen to him, and no one cares to understand that this charlatan has not the right to kiss the sole of Spencer’s foot, let alone speaking about him in that tone! Sapping the foundations of civilisation, of authority, of other people’s altars, spattering them with filth, winking jocosely at them only to justify and conceal one’s own rottenness and moral poverty is only possible for a very vain, base, and nasty creature.”
“Don’t laugh, deacon,” said Von Koren. “It’s becoming ridiculous in the end. I shouldn’t have paid attention to his unimportance,” he continued after waiting for the deacon to stop laughing; “I should have ignored him if he weren’t so harmful and dangerous. His harmfulness is mainly because he finds great success with women, which means he might leave behind children—basically, a dozen Laevskys who are just as weak and corrupt as he is. Secondly, he is extremely contaminating. I’ve already told you about vint and beer. In a year or two, he’ll control the entire Caucasian coast. You know how the average person, especially those in the middle class, believe in being intellectual, having a university education, upholding gentlemanly behavior, and using proper language. No matter what filthy act he commits, they’ll all think it’s acceptable since he’s an intellectual with liberal ideas and a university degree. What's more, he’s a failure, a superfluous man, a neurasthenic, a victim of the times, and that means he can get away with anything. He’s a likable guy, genuinely easygoing about human flaws; he’s accommodating, friendly, easygoing, and not arrogant; you can drink with him and gossip about people. . . . The masses, always inclined to see human traits in their morals and religion, prefer little gods who share the same flaws as they do. Just think of the vast opportunities he has for spreading his corruption! Plus, he’s not a bad actor and knows how to play the hypocrite and twist narratives. Just look at his little tricks and how he approaches civilization. He’s barely acknowledged civilization, yet he exclaims, ‘Oh, how civilization has crippled us! Oh, how I envy those savages, those children of nature, who know nothing of civilization!’ We’re meant to believe that, at some ancient time, he was fully devoted to civilization, served it, and explored it deeply, but it has worn him out, disillusioned him, and betrayed him; he’s a Faust, you see?—a second Tolstoy. . . . As for Schopenhauer and Spencer, he talks down to them like they’re little kids, giving them a friendly pat on the back: ‘So, what do you think, old Spencer?’ He hasn’t read Spencer, of course, but how charming he is when he lightly mocks his lady friend by saying, ‘She’s read Spencer!’ And everyone listens to him, not caring to understand that this fraud doesn’t have the right to kiss the ground Spencer walks on, let alone speak about him like that! Undermining the foundation of civilization, authority, and other people's beliefs, while covering them in dirt and jokingly dismissing them just to justify and hide one’s own decay and moral emptiness is only possible for a very vain, base, and despicable person.”
“I don’t know what it is you expect of him, Kolya,” said Samoylenko, looking at the zoologist, not with anger now, but with a guilty air. “He is a man the same as every one else. Of course, he has his weaknesses, but he is abreast of modern ideas, is in the service, is of use to his country. Ten years ago there was an old fellow serving as agent here, a man of the greatest intelligence . . . and he used to say . . .”
“I don’t know what you expect from him, Kolya,” said Samoylenko, looking at the zoologist, not with anger now, but with a guilty expression. “He’s just a man like everyone else. Sure, he has his flaws, but he’s up to date with modern ideas, is in service, and is useful to his country. Ten years ago, there was an older guy working as an agent here, a man of great intelligence . . . and he used to say . . .”
“Nonsense, nonsense!” the zoologist interrupted. “You say he is in the service; but how does he serve? Do you mean to tell me that things have been done better because he is here, and the officials are more punctual, honest, and civil? On the contrary, he has only sanctioned their slackness by his prestige as an intellectual university man. He is only punctual on the 20th of the month, when he gets his salary; on the other days he lounges about at home in slippers and tries to look as if he were doing the Government a great service by living in the Caucasus. No, Alexandr Daviditch, don’t stick up for him. You are insincere from beginning to end. If you really loved him and considered him your neighbour, you would above all not be indifferent to his weaknesses, you would not be indulgent to them, but for his own sake would try to make him innocuous.”
“Nonsense, nonsense!” the zoologist interrupted. “You say he’s in the service; but how does he serve? Are you really saying that things have improved because he’s here, and that the officials are more punctual, honest, and polite? On the contrary, he’s just encouraged their laziness with his reputation as an educated guy. He’s only punctual on the 20th of the month when he gets his paycheck; on other days, he just hangs out at home in slippers, pretending he’s doing the Government a huge favor by living in the Caucasus. No, Alexandr Daviditch, don’t defend him. You’re being insincere from start to finish. If you truly cared about him and saw him as a neighbor, you wouldn’t be indifferent to his flaws. You wouldn’t turn a blind eye to them, but for his own good, you’d try to help him change.”
“That is?”
“What’s that?”
“Innocuous. Since he is incorrigible, he can only be made innocuous in one way. . . .” Von Koren passed his finger round his throat. “Or he might be drowned . . .”, he added. “In the interests of humanity and in their own interests, such people ought to be destroyed. They certainly ought.”
“Innocuous. Since he’s unchangeable, the only way to make him harmless is...,” Von Koren said, running his finger around his throat. “Or he could be drowned...,” he added. “For the sake of humanity and their own well-being, people like that should be eliminated. They really should.”
“What are you saying?” muttered Samoylenko, getting up and looking with amazement at the zoologist’s calm, cold face. “Deacon, what is he saying? Why—are you in your senses?”
“What are you talking about?” muttered Samoylenko, getting up and staring in shock at the zoologist’s composed, cold face. “Deacon, what is he saying? Why—are you out of your mind?”
“I don’t insist on the death penalty,” said Von Koren. “If it is proved that it is pernicious, devise something else. If we can’t destroy Laevsky, why then, isolate him, make him harmless, send him to hard labour.”
“I’m not saying we should have the death penalty,” Von Koren said. “If it turns out to be harmful, come up with another solution. If we can’t get rid of Laevsky, then isolate him, make him harmless, or send him to hard labor.”
“What are you saying!” said Samoylenko in horror. “With pepper, with pepper,” he cried in a voice of despair, seeing that the deacon was eating stuffed aubergines without pepper. “You with your great intellect, what are you saying! Send our friend, a proud intellectual man, to penal servitude!”
“What are you talking about!” Samoylenko exclaimed in shock. “With pepper, with pepper,” he shouted in a tone of despair, noticing that the deacon was eating stuffed eggplants without pepper. “You and your so-called intelligence, what are you saying! Sending our friend, a proud intellectual, to hard labor!”
“Well, if he is proud and tries to resist, put him in fetters!”
“Well, if he’s arrogant and tries to resist, put him in chains!”
Samoylenko could not utter a word, and only twiddled his fingers; the deacon looked at his flabbergasted and really absurd face, and laughed.
Samoylenko couldn't say a word and just fidgeted with his fingers; the deacon looked at his shocked and truly ridiculous face and laughed.
“Let us leave off talking of that,” said the zoologist. “Only remember one thing, Alexandr Daviditch: primitive man was preserved from such as Laevsky by the struggle for existence and by natural selection; now our civilisation has considerably weakened the struggle and the selection, and we ought to look after the destruction of the rotten and worthless for ourselves; otherwise, when the Laevskys multiply, civilisation will perish and mankind will degenerate utterly. It will be our fault.”
“Let’s stop talking about that,” said the zoologist. “Just remember one thing, Alexandr Daviditch: primitive man survived people like Laevsky because of the struggle for survival and natural selection; but now our civilization has greatly weakened both the struggle and the selection, and we need to take responsibility for getting rid of the worthless and corrupt ourselves; otherwise, if Laevskys multiply, civilization will collapse and humanity will completely decline. It will be our fault.”
“If it depends on drowning and hanging,” said Samoylenko, “damnation take your civilisation, damnation take your humanity! Damnation take it! I tell you what: you are a very learned and intelligent man and the pride of your country, but the Germans have ruined you. Yes, the Germans! The Germans!”
“If it comes down to drowning and hanging,” said Samoylenko, “damn your civilization, damn your humanity! Damn it all! Let me tell you something: you’re a highly educated and intelligent man and the pride of your country, but the Germans have ruined you. Yes, the Germans! The Germans!”
Since Samoylenko had left Dorpat, where he had studied medicine, he had rarely seen a German and had not read a single German book, but, in his opinion, every harmful idea in politics or science was due to the Germans. Where he had got this notion he could not have said himself, but he held it firmly.
Since Samoylenko had left Dorpat, where he had studied medicine, he had rarely seen a German and hadn't read a single German book. However, he believed that every harmful idea in politics or science was caused by the Germans. He couldn't say where he got this idea, but he held it firmly.
“Yes, the Germans!” he repeated once more. “Come and have some tea.”
“Yes, the Germans!” he said again. “Come and have some tea.”
All three stood up, and putting on their hats, went out into the little garden, and sat there under the shade of the light green maples, the pear-trees, and a chestnut-tree. The zoologist and the deacon sat on a bench by the table, while Samoylenko sank into a deep wicker chair with a sloping back. The orderly handed them tea, jam, and a bottle of syrup.
All three stood up, put on their hats, and went out to the small garden, sitting under the shade of the light green maples, the pear trees, and a chestnut tree. The zoologist and the deacon sat on a bench by the table, while Samoylenko settled into a deep wicker chair with a sloping back. The orderly brought them tea, jam, and a bottle of syrup.
It was very hot, thirty degrees Réaumur in the shade. The sultry air was stagnant and motionless, and a long spider-web, stretching from the chestnut-tree to the ground, hung limply and did not stir.
It was really hot, thirty degrees Réaumur in the shade. The muggy air was still and unmoving, and a long spider web, reaching from the chestnut tree to the ground, hung lifelessly and didn’t move.
The deacon took up the guitar, which was constantly lying on the ground near the table, tuned it, and began singing softly in a thin voice:
The deacon picked up the guitar that was always lying on the ground next to the table, tuned it, and started to sing softly in a thin voice:
“‘Gathered round the tavern were the seminary lads,’”
“‘Gathered around the pub were the seminary guys,’”
but instantly subsided, overcome by the heat, mopped his brow and glanced upwards at the blazing blue sky. Samoylenko grew drowsy; the sultry heat, the stillness and the delicious after-dinner languor, which quickly pervaded all his limbs, made him feel heavy and sleepy; his arms dropped at his sides, his eyes grew small, his head sank on his breast. He looked with almost tearful tenderness at Von Koren and the deacon, and muttered:
but quickly calmed down, overwhelmed by the heat, wiped his brow, and looked up at the blazing blue sky. Samoylenko felt drowsy; the muggy heat, the stillness, and the pleasant after-dinner fatigue that soon spread through his body made him feel heavy and sleepy; his arms hung by his sides, his eyes narrowed, and his head drooped onto his chest. He gazed with almost tearful affection at Von Koren and the deacon, and murmured:
“The younger generation. . . A scientific star and a luminary of the Church. . . . I shouldn’t wonder if the long-skirted alleluia will be shooting up into a bishop; I dare say I may come to kissing his hand. . . . Well . . . please God. . . .”
“The younger generation... A scientific star and a shining light of the Church... I wouldn’t be surprised if the long-skirted alleluia becomes a bishop; I might end up kissing his hand... Well... God willing...”
Soon a snore was heard. Von Koren and the deacon finished their tea and went out into the street.
Soon, a snore was heard. Von Koren and the deacon finished their tea and went out into the street.
“Are you going to the harbour again to catch sea-gudgeon?” asked the zoologist.
“Are you going to the harbor again to catch sea-gudgeon?” asked the zoologist.
“No, it’s too hot.”
"No, it's too warm."
“Come and see me. You can pack up a parcel and copy something for me. By the way, we must have a talk about what you are to do. You must work, deacon. You can’t go on like this.”
“Come and see me. You can pack up a package and copy something for me. By the way, we need to discuss what you should do. You have to work, deacon. You can’t keep going on like this.”
“Your words are just and logical,” said the deacon. “But my laziness finds an excuse in the circumstances of my present life. You know yourself that an uncertain position has a great tendency to make people apathetic. God only knows whether I have been sent here for a time or permanently. I am living here in uncertainty, while my wife is vegetating at her father’s and is missing me. And I must confess my brain is melting with the heat.”
“Your words make sense,” said the deacon. “But my laziness uses the situation I’m in as an excuse. You know that being in an uncertain position can really make people indifferent. Only God knows if I've been sent here temporarily or for good. I'm stuck in this uncertainty while my wife is back at her dad’s place and is missing me. And I have to admit that my mind is melting from the heat.”
“That’s all nonsense,” said the zoologist. “You can get used to the heat, and you can get used to being without the deaconess. You mustn’t be slack; you must pull yourself together.”
“That’s all nonsense,” said the zoologist. “You can adjust to the heat, and you can adjust to being without the deaconess. Don’t be inactive; you need to get it together.”
V
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna went to bathe in the morning, and her cook, Olga, followed her with a jug, a copper basin, towels, and a sponge. In the bay stood two unknown steamers with dirty white funnels, obviously foreign cargo vessels. Some men dressed in white and wearing white shoes were walking along the harbour, shouting loudly in French, and were answered from the steamers. The bells were ringing briskly in the little church of the town.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna went to take a bath in the morning, and her cook, Olga, followed her with a jug, a copper basin, towels, and a sponge. In the bay, there were two unfamiliar steamers with dirty white funnels, clearly foreign cargo ships. Some men dressed in white and wearing white shoes were walking along the harbor, shouting loudly in French, and were being answered from the steamers. The bells were ringing cheerfully in the town's little church.
“To-day is Sunday!” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna remembered with pleasure.
“To-day is Sunday!” Nadya Fyodorovna thought happily.
She felt perfectly well, and was in a gay holiday humour. In a new loose-fitting dress of coarse thick tussore silk, and a big wide-brimmed straw hat which was bent down over her ears, so that her face looked out as though from a basket, she fancied she looked very charming. She thought that in the whole town there was only one young, pretty, intellectual woman, and that was herself, and that she was the only one who knew how to dress herself cheaply, elegantly, and with taste. That dress, for example, cost only twenty-two roubles, and yet how charming it was! In the whole town she was the only one who could be attractive, while there were numbers of men, so they must all, whether they would or not, be envious of Laevsky.
She felt great and was in a cheerful vacation mood. Wearing a new, loose-fitting dress made of thick tussore silk and a wide-brimmed straw hat that sat low over her ears, making her look like her face was peeking out from a basket, she thought she looked quite charming. She believed that in the entire town, she was the only young, pretty, intellectual woman and that she alone knew how to dress elegantly and affordably. For instance, that dress only cost twenty-two roubles, yet it looked so lovely! She was sure she was the only attractive woman in town, while there were plenty of men around, so they must all, like it or not, be jealous of Laevsky.
She was glad that of late Laevsky had been cold to her, reserved and polite, and at times even harsh and rude; in the past she had met all his outbursts, all his contemptuous, cold or strange incomprehensible glances, with tears, reproaches, and threats to leave him or to starve herself to death; now she only blushed, looked guiltily at him, and was glad he was not affectionate to her. If he had abused her, threatened her, it would have been better and pleasanter, since she felt hopelessly guilty towards him. She felt she was to blame, in the first place, for not sympathising with the dreams of a life of hard work, for the sake of which he had given up Petersburg and had come here to the Caucasus, and she was convinced that he had been angry with her of late for precisely that. When she was travelling to the Caucasus, it seemed that she would find here on the first day a cosy nook by the sea, a snug little garden with shade, with birds, with little brooks, where she could grow flowers and vegetables, rear ducks and hens, entertain her neighbours, doctor poor peasants and distribute little books amongst them. It had turned out that the Caucasus was nothing but bare mountains, forests, and huge valleys, where it took a long time and a great deal of effort to find anything and settle down; that there were no neighbours of any sort; that it was very hot and one might be robbed. Laevsky had been in no hurry to obtain a piece of land; she was glad of it, and they seemed to be in a tacit compact never to allude to a life of hard work. He was silent about it, she thought, because he was angry with her for being silent about it.
She was relieved that lately Laevsky had been cold towards her, distant and polite, and at times even harsh and rude; in the past, she had reacted to all his outbursts, all his contemptuous, cold, or oddly incomprehensible looks, with tears, accusations, and threats to leave him or starve herself; now she simply blushed, looked at him with guilt, and was grateful he wasn’t affectionate. If he had insulted her or threatened her, it would have been better and more pleasant, as she felt hopelessly guilty towards him. She believed she was primarily to blame for not sharing his dreams of a life of hard work, for which he had sacrificed Petersburg and come to the Caucasus, and she was sure he had been upset with her lately for that reason. On her journey to the Caucasus, she thought she would instantly find a cozy spot by the sea, a lovely little garden with shade, birds, and small streams, where she could grow flowers and vegetables, raise ducks and chickens, entertain her neighbors, help poor peasants, and share little books with them. It turned out the Caucasus was nothing but bare mountains, forests, and vast valleys, where finding anything and settling down took a long time and a lot of effort; there were no neighbors at all; it was extremely hot, and one could easily get robbed. Laevsky had been in no rush to get a piece of land; she was glad about that, and it felt like they had a silent agreement never to mention a life of hard work. She thought he was quiet about it because he was angry with her for not mentioning it either.
In the second place, she had without his knowledge during those two years bought various trifles to the value of three hundred roubles at Atchmianov’s shop. She had bought the things by degrees, at one time materials, at another time silk or a parasol, and the debt had grown imperceptibly.
In the second place, she had, without his knowledge, spent a total of three hundred roubles on various small items at Atchmianov’s shop over those two years. She had gradually bought the items: sometimes materials, other times silk or a parasol, and the debt had increased little by little.
“I will tell him about it to-day . . .”, she used to decide, but at once reflected that in Laevsky’s present mood it would hardly be convenient to talk to him of debts.
“I’ll talk to him about it today . . .,” she would decide, but then quickly realized that given Laevsky’s current mood, it probably wouldn’t be a good time to discuss debts.
Thirdly, she had on two occasions in Laevsky’s absence received a visit from Kirilin, the police captain: once in the morning when Laevsky had gone to bathe, and another time at midnight when he was playing cards. Remembering this, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna flushed crimson, and looked round at the cook as though she might overhear her thoughts. The long, insufferably hot, wearisome days, beautiful languorous evenings and stifling nights, and the whole manner of living, when from morning to night one is at a loss to fill up the useless hours, and the persistent thought that she was the prettiest young woman in the town, and that her youth was passing and being wasted, and Laevsky himself, though honest and idealistic, always the same, always lounging about in his slippers, biting his nails, and wearying her with his caprices, led by degrees to her becoming possessed by desire, and as though she were mad, she thought of nothing else day and night. Breathing, looking, walking, she felt nothing but desire. The sound of the sea told her she must love; the darkness of evening—the same; the mountains—the same. . . . And when Kirilin began paying her attentions, she had neither the power nor the wish to resist, and surrendered to him. . . .
Thirdly, there were two times when Kirilin, the police captain, visited her while Laevsky was gone: once in the morning when Laevsky went to take a bath, and another time at midnight while he was playing cards. Remembering this, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna blushed deeply and glanced at the cook as if she might read her thoughts. The long, unbearably hot, exhausting days, beautiful lazy evenings, and stifling nights, along with the entire way of life, where she was constantly at a loss to fill the pointless hours, combined with the nagging feeling that she was the prettiest young woman in town, and that her youth was slipping away and being wasted. Laevsky himself, though honest and idealistic, remained the same—always lounging around in his slippers, biting his nails, and tiring her with his moods—gradually led her to become consumed by desire. It felt maddening; she thought of nothing else day and night. Breathing, looking, walking, she felt nothing but desire. The sound of the sea told her she must love; the darkness of the evening—the same; the mountains—the same... And when Kirilin started showing her attention, she neither had the strength nor the desire to resist and surrendered to him...
Now the foreign steamers and the men in white reminded her for some reason of a huge hall; together with the shouts of French she heard the strains of a waltz, and her bosom heaved with unaccountable delight. She longed to dance and talk French.
Now the foreign ships and the people in white somehow reminded her of a big ballroom; along with the shouts of French, she could hear the sound of a waltz, and her heart filled with an inexplicable joy. She yearned to dance and speak French.
She reflected joyfully that there was nothing terrible about her infidelity. Her soul had no part in her infidelity; she still loved Laevsky, and that was proved by the fact that she was jealous of him, was sorry for him, and missed him when he was away. Kirilin had turned out to be very mediocre, rather coarse though handsome; everything was broken off with him already and there would never be anything more. What had happened was over; it had nothing to do with any one, and if Laevsky found it out he would not believe in it.
She happily realized that there was nothing awful about her cheating. Her heart had nothing to do with her infidelity; she still loved Laevsky, and that was clear because she felt jealous of him, cared for him, and missed him when he was gone. Kirilin turned out to be pretty average, kind of rough around the edges but attractive; everything with him was already over and there would never be anything more. What had happened was in the past; it had nothing to do with anyone else, and if Laevsky found out, he wouldn’t believe it.
There was only one bathing-house for ladies on the sea-front; men bathed under the open sky. Going into the bathing-house, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna found there an elderly lady, Marya Konstantinovna Bityugov, and her daughter Katya, a schoolgirl of fifteen; both of them were sitting on a bench undressing. Marya Konstantinovna was a good-natured, enthusiastic, and genteel person, who talked in a drawling and pathetic voice. She had been a governess until she was thirty-two, and then had married Bityugov, a Government official—a bald little man with his hair combed on to his temples and with a very meek disposition. She was still in love with him, was jealous, blushed at the word “love,” and told every one she was very happy.
There was only one bathing house for women by the beach; men swam outside under the open sky. When Nadyezhda Fyodorovna entered the bathing house, she saw an older woman, Marya Konstantinovna Bityugov, and her daughter Katya, a fifteen-year-old schoolgirl. Both were sitting on a bench getting undressed. Marya Konstantinovna was kind, enthusiastic, and refined, speaking in a slow, dramatic voice. She had worked as a governess until she was thirty-two, after which she married Bityugov, a government official—a small, bald man with his hair combed over to his temples and a very mild temperament. She was still in love with him, felt jealous, blushed at the mention of “love,” and told everyone she was very happy.
“My dear,” she cried enthusiastically, on seeing Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, assuming an expression which all her acquaintances called “almond-oily.” “My dear, how delightful that you have come! We’ll bathe together —that’s enchanting!”
“My dear,” she exclaimed excitedly when she saw Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, taking on an expression that all her friends called “almond-oily.” “My dear, how wonderful that you’ve come! We’ll swim together—that’s amazing!”
Olga quickly flung off her dress and chemise, and began undressing her mistress.
Olga quickly took off her dress and slip, and started undressing her boss.
“It’s not quite so hot to-day as yesterday?” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, shrinking at the coarse touch of the naked cook. “Yesterday I almost died of the heat.”
“Isn’t it a little cooler today than it was yesterday?” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, flinching at the rough touch of the naked cook. “Yesterday, I felt like I might pass out from the heat.”
“Oh, yes, my dear; I could hardly breathe myself. Would you believe it? I bathed yesterday three times! Just imagine, my dear, three times! Nikodim Alexandritch was quite uneasy.”
“Oh, yes, my dear; I could barely breathe myself. Can you believe it? I bathed three times yesterday! Just think about that, my dear, three times! Nikodim Alexandritch was really worried.”
“Is it possible to be so ugly?” thought Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, looking at Olga and the official’s wife; she glanced at Katya and thought: “The little girl’s not badly made.”
“Is it really possible to be this ugly?” thought Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, looking at Olga and the official’s wife; she glanced at Katya and thought, “The little girl is not bad-looking.”
“Your Nikodim Alexandritch is very charming!” she said. “I’m simply in love with him.”
“Your Nikodim Alexandritch is so charming!” she said. “I’m just in love with him.”
“Ha, ha, ha!” cried Marya Konstantinovna, with a forced laugh; “that’s quite enchanting.”
“Ha, ha, ha!” laughed Marya Konstantinovna, with a forced chuckle; “that’s really charming.”
Free from her clothes, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna felt a desire to fly. And it seemed to her that if she were to wave her hands she would fly upwards. When she was undressed, she noticed that Olga looked scornfully at her white body. Olga, a young soldier’s wife, was living with her lawful husband, and so considered herself superior to her mistress. Marya Konstantinovna and Katya were afraid of her, and did not respect her. This was disagreeable, and to raise herself in their opinion, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna said:
Free from her clothes, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna felt like she wanted to fly. It seemed to her that if she waved her arms, she would lift off into the air. When she was undressed, she noticed that Olga looked down on her white body. Olga, a young soldier’s wife, lived with her legitimate husband, and felt superior to her mistress. Marya Konstantinovna and Katya were afraid of her and didn’t respect her. This was unpleasant, so to elevate her standing in their eyes, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna said:
“At home, in Petersburg, summer villa life is at its height now. My husband and I have so many friends! We ought to go and see them.”
“At home in Petersburg, summer villa life is in full swing now. My husband and I have a ton of friends! We should go visit them.”
“I believe your husband is an engineer?” said Marya Konstantinovna timidly.
“I believe your husband is an engineer?” Marya Konstantinovna said hesitantly.
“I am speaking of Laevsky. He has a great many acquaintances. But unfortunately his mother is a proud aristocrat, not very intelligent. . . .”
“I’m talking about Laevsky. He has a lot of acquaintances. But unfortunately, his mother is a proud aristocrat who isn’t very smart. . . .”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna threw herself into the water without finishing; Marya Konstantinovna and Katya made their way in after her.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna jumped into the water without finishing; Marya Konstantinovna and Katya followed her in.
“There are so many conventional ideas in the world,” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna went on, “and life is not so easy as it seems.”
“There are so many traditional ideas in the world,” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna continued, “and life isn't as simple as it seems.”
Marya Konstantinovna, who had been a governess in aristocratic families and who was an authority on social matters, said:
Marya Konstantinovna, who had worked as a governess for wealthy families and was an expert on social issues, said:
“Oh yes! Would you believe me, my dear, at the Garatynskys’ I was expected to dress for lunch as well as for dinner, so that, like an actress, I received a special allowance for my wardrobe in addition to my salary.”
“Oh yes! Can you believe it, my dear? At the Garatynskys’, I had to get dressed for lunch just like I did for dinner, so, like an actress, I got a special allowance for my wardrobe on top of my salary.”
She stood between Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and Katya as though to screen her daughter from the water that washed the former.
She stood between Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and Katya as if to shield her daughter from the water that flowed over the former.
Through the open doors looking out to the sea they could see some one swimming a hundred paces from their bathing-place.
Through the open doors looking out to the sea, they could see someone swimming a hundred yards from their spot.
“Mother, it’s our Kostya,” said Katya.
“Mom, it’s our Kostya,” said Katya.
“Ach, ach!” Marya Konstantinovna cackled in her dismay. “Ach, Kostya!” she shouted, “Come back! Kostya, come back!”
“Ah, ah!” Marya Konstantinovna exclaimed in her distress. “Oh, Kostya!” she shouted, “Come back! Kostya, come back!”
Kostya, a boy of fourteen, to show off his prowess before his mother and sister, dived and swam farther, but began to be exhausted and hurried back, and from his strained and serious face it could be seen that he could not trust his own strength.
Kostya, a fourteen-year-old boy, wanted to impress his mom and sister, so he dove in and swam farther. But he started to feel tired and quickly swam back. The strained and serious expression on his face showed that he didn't trust his own strength anymore.
“The trouble one has with these boys, my dear!” said Marya Konstantinovna, growing calmer. “Before you can turn round, he will break his neck. Ah, my dear, how sweet it is, and yet at the same time how difficult, to be a mother! One’s afraid of everything.”
“The trouble you have with these boys, my dear!” said Marya Konstantinovna, relaxing a bit. “Before you know it, he’ll break his neck. Ah, my dear, how lovely it is, and yet how hard, to be a mother! You worry about everything.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna put on her straw hat and dashed out into the open sea. She swam some thirty feet and then turned on her back. She could see the sea to the horizon, the steamers, the people on the sea-front, the town; and all this, together with the sultry heat and the soft, transparent waves, excited her and whispered that she must live, live. . . . A sailing-boat darted by her rapidly and vigorously, cleaving the waves and the air; the man sitting at the helm looked at her, and she liked being looked at. . . .
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna put on her straw hat and ran out to the open sea. She swam about thirty feet and then flipped onto her back. She could see the sea stretching to the horizon, the steamers, the people along the waterfront, the town; and all of this, along with the sultry heat and the gentle, clear waves, thrilled her and urged her to live, to truly live. A sailboat zipped past her, cutting through the waves and the air; the man at the helm glanced at her, and she enjoyed being looked at.
After bathing, the ladies dressed and went away together.
After bathing, the women got dressed and left together.
“I have fever every alternate day, and yet I don’t get thin,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, licking her lips, which were salt from the bathe, and responding with a smile to the bows of her acquaintances. “I’ve always been plump, and now I believe I’m plumper than ever.”
“I have a fever every other day, and yet I don't lose weight,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, licking her lips, which were salty from the bath, and smiling in response to the bows of her acquaintances. “I've always been curvy, and now I think I'm curvier than ever.”
“That, my dear, is constitutional. If, like me, one has no constitutional tendency to stoutness, no diet is of any use. . . . But you’ve wetted your hat, my dear.”
“That, my dear, is constitutional. If, like me, someone has no natural inclination towards being overweight, no diet will help. . . . But you’ve gotten your hat wet, my dear.”
“It doesn’t matter; it will dry.”
“It doesn’t matter; it will dry.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna saw again the men in white who were walking on the sea-front and talking French; and again she felt a sudden thrill of joy, and had a vague memory of some big hall in which she had once danced, or of which, perhaps, she had once dreamed. And something at the bottom of her soul dimly and obscurely whispered to her that she was a pretty, common, miserable, worthless woman. . . .
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna saw the men in white again, walking along the seaside and speaking French; once more, she felt a sudden wave of joy and had a hazy memory of a grand hall where she had once danced, or maybe somewhere she had only dreamed of. Deep down in her soul, something vaguely whispered to her that she was a pretty, ordinary, miserable, worthless woman...
Marya Konstantinovna stopped at her gate and asked her to come in and sit down for a little while.
Marya Konstantinovna paused at her gate and invited her to come in and sit down for a bit.
“Come in, my dear,” she said in an imploring voice, and at the same time she looked at Nadyezhda Fyodorovna with anxiety and hope; perhaps she would refuse and not come in!
“Come in, my dear,” she said in a pleading voice, and at the same time, she looked at Nadyezhda Fyodorovna with both anxiety and hope; maybe she would say no and decide not to come in!
“With pleasure,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, accepting. “You know how I love being with you!”
“With pleasure,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, accepting. “You know how much I love hanging out with you!”
And she went into the house. Marya Konstantinovna sat her down and gave her coffee, regaled her with milk rolls, then showed her photographs of her former pupils, the Garatynskys, who were by now married. She showed her, too, the examination reports of Kostya and Katya. The reports were very good, but to make them seem even better, she complained, with a sigh, how difficult the lessons at school were now. . . . She made much of her visitor, and was sorry for her, though at the same time she was harassed by the thought that Nadyezhda Fyodorovna might have a corrupting influence on the morals of Kostya and Katya, and was glad that her Nikodim Alexandritch was not at home. Seeing that in her opinion all men are fond of “women like that,” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna might have a bad effect on Nikodim Alexandritch too.
And she went into the house. Marya Konstantinovna sat her down and gave her coffee, treated her to milk rolls, then showed her photos of her former students, the Garatynskys, who were now married. She also showed her the exam results of Kostya and Katya. The results were really good, but to make them seem even better, she sighed and complained about how tough the lessons at school were now... She was very attentive to her guest and felt sorry for her, but at the same time, she was worried that Nadyezhda Fyodorovna might negatively influence Kostya and Katya’s morals, and she was relieved that her Nikodim Alexandritch wasn’t home. Believing that all men are attracted to “women like that,” she thought Nadyezhda Fyodorovna might also have a bad influence on Nikodim Alexandritch.
As she talked to her visitor, Marya Konstantinovna kept remembering that they were to have a picnic that evening, and that Von Koren had particularly begged her to say nothing about it to the “Japanese monkeys”—that is, Laevsky and Nadyezhda Fyodorovna; but she dropped a word about it unawares, crimsoned, and said in confusion:
As she chatted with her guest, Marya Konstantinovna couldn't help but remember that they were having a picnic that evening, and that Von Koren had specifically asked her not to mention it to the “Japanese monkeys”—meaning Laevsky and Nadyezhda Fyodorovna; but she accidentally let it slip, blushed, and said in embarrassment:
“I hope you will come too!”
“I hope you can come too!”
VI
It was agreed to drive about five miles out of town on the road to the south, to stop near a duhan at the junction of two streams —the Black River and the Yellow River—and to cook fish soup. They started out soon after five. Foremost of the party in a char-à-banc drove Samoylenko and Laevsky; they were followed by Marya Konstantinovna, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, Katya and Kostya, in a coach with three horses, carrying with them the crockery and a basket with provisions. In the next carriage came the police captain, Kirilin, and the young Atchmianov, the son of the shopkeeper to whom Nadyezhda Fyodorovna owed three hundred roubles; opposite them, huddled up on the little seat with his feet tucked under him, sat Nikodim Alexandritch, a neat little man with hair combed on to his temples. Last of all came Von Koren and the deacon; at the deacon’s feet stood a basket of fish.
They decided to drive about five miles out of town on the road to the south, to stop near a duhan at the junction of two streams—the Black River and the Yellow River—and to make fish soup. They set off soon after five. Leading the group in a char-à-banc were Samoylenko and Laevsky; following them were Marya Konstantinovna, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, Katya, and Kostya, in a coach pulled by three horses, bringing along dishes and a basket of food. In the next carriage were the police captain, Kirilin, and the young Atchmianov, the shopkeeper's son to whom Nadyezhda Fyodorovna owed three hundred roubles; opposite them, curled up on the little seat with his feet tucked under him, was Nikodim Alexandritch, a tidy little man with hair combed down to his temples. Lastly, Von Koren and the deacon came along; at the deacon’s feet was a basket of fish.
“R-r-right!” Samoylenko shouted at the top of his voice when he met a cart or a mountaineer riding on a donkey.
“R-right!” Samoylenko shouted at the top of his lungs when he encountered a cart or a mountaineer riding a donkey.
“In two years’ time, when I shall have the means and the people ready, I shall set off on an expedition,” Von Koren was telling the deacon. “I shall go by the sea-coast from Vladivostok to the Behring Straits, and then from the Straits to the mouth of the Yenisei. We shall make the map, study the fauna and the flora, and make detailed geological, anthropological, and ethnographical researches. It depends upon you to go with me or not.”
“In two years, when I have the resources and people lined up, I’m going on an expedition,” Von Koren was telling the deacon. “I’ll travel along the coast from Vladivostok to the Bering Straits, and then from the Straits to the mouth of the Yenisei. We’ll create a map, study the wildlife and plants, and conduct detailed geological, anthropological, and ethnographic research. It’s up to you whether you want to join me or not.”
“It’s impossible,” said the deacon.
"It's not possible," said the deacon.
“Why?”
“Why?”
“I’m a man with ties and a family.”
“I’m a guy with connections and a family.”
“Your wife will let you go; we will provide for her. Better still if you were to persuade her for the public benefit to go into a nunnery; that would make it possible for you to become a monk, too, and join the expedition as a priest. I can arrange it for you.”
“Your wife will let you go; we’ll take care of her. Even better if you could convince her, for the good of the community, to enter a convent; that way, you could become a monk too and join the mission as a priest. I can set it up for you.”
The deacon was silent.
The deacon didn't say anything.
“Do you know your theology well?” asked the zoologist.
“Do you know your theology pretty well?” asked the zoologist.
“No, rather badly.”
“No, pretty badly.”
“H’m! . . . I can’t give you any advice on that score, because I don’t know much about theology myself. You give me a list of books you need, and I will send them to you from Petersburg in the winter. It will be necessary for you to read the notes of religious travellers, too; among them are some good ethnologists and Oriental scholars. When you are familiar with their methods, it will be easier for you to set to work. And you needn’t waste your time till you get the books; come to me, and we will study the compass and go through a course of meteorology. All that’s indispensable.”
“Hmm! I can’t really give you any advice on that, because I don’t know much about theology myself. Just give me a list of the books you need, and I’ll send them to you from Petersburg in the winter. You should also read the notes of religious travelers; there are some good ethnologists and Oriental scholars among them. Once you’re familiar with their methods, it’ll be easier for you to get started. And you don’t have to waste your time waiting for the books; come to me, and we’ll study the compass and go over a course in meteorology. That’s all essential.”
“To be sure . . .” muttered the deacon, and he laughed. “I was trying to get a place in Central Russia, and my uncle, the head priest, promised to help me. If I go with you I shall have troubled them for nothing.”
“To be sure . . .” muttered the deacon, and he laughed. “I was trying to get a position in Central Russia, and my uncle, the head priest, promised to help me. If I go with you, I’ll have troubled them for nothing.”
“I don’t understand your hesitation. If you go on being an ordinary deacon, who is only obliged to hold a service on holidays, and on the other days can rest from work, you will be exactly the same as you are now in ten years’ time, and will have gained nothing but a beard and moustache; while on returning from this expedition in ten years’ time you will be a different man, you will be enriched by the consciousness that something has been done by you.”
“I don’t get why you’re hesitating. If you keep being just an ordinary deacon, only required to hold a service on holidays and able to take it easy the rest of the time, you’ll be exactly the same in ten years, only with a beard and a mustache; but if you go on this expedition and return in ten years, you’ll be a different person, enriched by knowing that you’ve accomplished something.”
From the ladies’ carriage came shrieks of terror and delight. The carriages were driving along a road hollowed in a literally overhanging precipitous cliff, and it seemed to every one that they were galloping along a shelf on a steep wall, and that in a moment the carriages would drop into the abyss. On the right stretched the sea; on the left was a rough brown wall with black blotches and red veins and with climbing roots; while on the summit stood shaggy fir-trees bent over, as though looking down in terror and curiosity. A minute later there were shrieks and laughter again: they had to drive under a huge overhanging rock.
From the ladies’ carriage came screams of both fear and excitement. The carriages were driving along a road carved into a steep cliff, and it felt to everyone like they were racing along a narrow ledge on a towering wall, ready to fall into the drop below. On the right was the sea; on the left, a rough brown wall marked with dark spots and red streaks, dotted with climbing roots; while at the top, scraggly fir trees leaned over, as if peering down in both fear and curiosity. A moment later, there were more screams and laughter: they had to drive beneath a massive overhanging rock.
“I don’t know why the devil I’m coming with you,” said Laevsky. “How stupid and vulgar it is! I want to go to the North, to run away, to escape; but here I am, for some reason, going to this stupid picnic.”
“I don’t know why the hell I’m going with you,” said Laevsky. “It’s so dumb and tacky! I want to head to the North, to get away, to escape; but here I am, for some reason, going to this ridiculous picnic.”
“But look, what a view!” said Samoylenko as the horses turned to the left, and the valley of the Yellow River came into sight and the stream itself gleamed in the sunlight, yellow, turbid, frantic.
“But look, what a view!” Samoylenko exclaimed as the horses turned left, and the valley of the Yellow River appeared, the stream sparkling in the sunlight, yellow, muddy, and wild.
“I see nothing fine in that, Sasha,” answered Laevsky. “To be in continual ecstasies over nature shows poverty of imagination. In comparison with what my imagination can give me, all these streams and rocks are trash, and nothing else.”
“I don't find anything great about that, Sasha,” Laevsky replied. “Being constantly thrilled by nature reflects a lack of imagination. Compared to what my imagination can offer, all these rivers and rocks are just junk, and nothing more.”
The carriages now were by the banks of the stream. The high mountain banks gradually grew closer, the valley shrank together and ended in a gorge; the rocky mountain round which they were driving had been piled together by nature out of huge rocks, pressing upon each other with such terrible weight, that Samoylenko could not help gasping every time he looked at them. The dark and beautiful mountain was cleft in places by narrow fissures and gorges from which came a breath of dewy moisture and mystery; through the gorges could be seen other mountains, brown, pink, lilac, smoky, or bathed in vivid sunlight. From time to time as they passed a gorge they caught the sound of water falling from the heights and splashing on the stones.
The carriages were now by the banks of the stream. The steep mountain banks gradually drew closer, the valley narrowed and ended in a gorge. The rocky mountain they were driving around had been formed by nature from massive boulders pressing against each other with such immense weight that Samoylenko couldn’t help gasping every time he looked at them. The dark and stunning mountain had narrow cracks and gorges that released a breath of dewy moisture and mystery; through the gorges, other mountains could be seen—brown, pink, lilac, smoky, or glowing in bright sunlight. Occasionally, as they passed a gorge, they heard the sound of water falling from the heights and splashing on the rocks.
“Ach, the damned mountains!” sighed Laevsky. “How sick I am of them!”
“Ugh, these damn mountains!” sighed Laevsky. “I’m so over them!”
At the place where the Black River falls into the Yellow, and the water black as ink stains the yellow and struggles with it, stood the Tatar Kerbalay’s duhan, with the Russian flag on the roof and with an inscription written in chalk: “The Pleasant duhan.” Near it was a little garden, enclosed in a hurdle fence, with tables and chairs set out in it, and in the midst of a thicket of wretched thornbushes stood a single solitary cypress, dark and beautiful.
At the spot where the Black River flows into the Yellow, and the water, black as ink, mixes and struggles with the yellow, stood the Tatar Kerbalay’s duhan, topped with a Russian flag and a sign written in chalk: “The Pleasant duhan.” Nearby was a small garden, surrounded by a hurdle fence, with tables and chairs arranged inside, and in the middle of a patch of scraggly thornbushes stood a lone, beautiful cypress, dark and striking.
Kerbalay, a nimble little Tatar in a blue shirt and a white apron, was standing in the road, and, holding his stomach, he bowed low to welcome the carriages, and smiled, showing his glistening white teeth.
Kerbalay, a quick little Tatar wearing a blue shirt and a white apron, was standing in the road. He held his stomach and bowed low to greet the carriages, smiling and showing off his bright white teeth.
“Good-evening, Kerbalay,” shouted Samoylenko. “We are driving on a little further, and you take along the samovar and chairs! Look sharp!”
“Good evening, Kerbalay,” shouted Samoylenko. “We’re driving a bit further, so grab the samovar and chairs! Hurry up!”
Kerbalay nodded his shaven head and muttered something, and only those sitting in the last carriage could hear: “We’ve got trout, your Excellency.”
Kerbalay nodded his bald head and murmured something, and only those sitting in the last carriage could hear: “We’ve got trout, your Excellency.”
“Bring them, bring them!” said Von Koren.
“Bring them, bring them!” said Von Koren.
Five hundred paces from the duhan the carriages stopped. Samoylenko selected a small meadow round which there were scattered stones convenient for sitting on, and a fallen tree blown down by the storm with roots overgrown by moss and dry yellow needles. Here there was a fragile wooden bridge over the stream, and just opposite on the other bank there was a little barn for drying maize, standing on four low piles, and looking like the hut on hen’s legs in the fairy tale; a little ladder sloped from its door.
Five hundred steps from the duhan, the carriages stopped. Samoylenko picked a small meadow surrounded by scattered stones that were good for sitting on, along with a fallen tree knocked down by the storm, its roots covered in moss and dry yellow needles. There was a delicate wooden bridge over the stream, and directly across on the opposite bank, there was a small barn for drying corn, perched on four low piles and resembling the hut on chicken legs from the fairy tale; a small ladder leaned against its door.
The first impression in all was a feeling that they would never get out of that place again. On all sides wherever they looked, the mountains rose up and towered above them, and the shadows of evening were stealing rapidly, rapidly from the duhan and dark cypress, making the narrow winding valley of the Black River narrower and the mountains higher. They could hear the river murmuring and the unceasing chirrup of the grasshoppers.
The first impression for everyone was a sense that they would never escape that place. No matter where they looked, the mountains loomed over them, and the evening shadows were quickly creeping away from the duhan and dark cypress trees, making the narrow, winding valley of the Black River even tighter and the mountains seem taller. They could hear the river softly flowing and the constant chirping of the grasshoppers.
“Enchanting!” said Marya Konstantinovna, heaving deep sighs of ecstasy. “Children, look how fine! What peace!”
“Enchanting!” said Marya Konstantinovna, letting out deep sighs of joy. “Kids, look how beautiful! What tranquility!”
“Yes, it really is fine,” assented Laevsky, who liked the view, and for some reason felt sad as he looked at the sky and then at the blue smoke rising from the chimney of the duhan. “Yes, it is fine,” he repeated.
“Yes, it really is nice,” agreed Laevsky, who appreciated the view, and for some reason felt a twinge of sadness as he gazed at the sky and then at the blue smoke curling up from the chimney of the duhan. “Yes, it’s nice,” he said again.
“Ivan Andreitch, describe this view,” Marya Konstantinovna said tearfully.
“Ivan Andreitch, describe this view,” Marya Konstantinovna said with tears in her eyes.
“Why?” asked Laevsky. “The impression is better than any description. The wealth of sights and sounds which every one receives from nature by direct impression is ranted about by authors in a hideous and unrecognisable way.”
“Why?” Laevsky asked. “The experience is better than any description. The richness of sights and sounds that everyone receives from nature directly is talked about by authors in a terrible and unrecognizable way.”
“Really?” Von Koren asked coldly, choosing the biggest stone by the side of the water, and trying to clamber up and sit upon it. “Really?” he repeated, looking directly at Laevsky. “What of ‘Romeo and Juliet’? Or, for instance, Pushkin’s ‘Night in the Ukraine’? Nature ought to come and bow down at their feet.”
“Seriously?” Von Koren asked icily, picking the largest stone by the water and attempting to climb up and sit on it. “Seriously?” he repeated, staring directly at Laevsky. “What about ‘Romeo and Juliet’? Or, let’s say, Pushkin’s ‘Night in the Ukraine’? Nature should come and pay homage to them.”
“Perhaps,” said Laevsky, who was too lazy to think and oppose him. “Though what is ‘Romeo and Juliet’ after all?” he added after a short pause. “The beauty of poetry and holiness of love are simply the roses under which they try to hide its rottenness. Romeo is just the same sort of animal as all the rest of us.”
“Maybe,” said Laevsky, who couldn’t be bothered to think and argue with him. “But what is ‘Romeo and Juliet’ anyway?” he added after a brief pause. “The beauty of poetry and the sanctity of love are just a facade to cover up its decay. Romeo is just as flawed as the rest of us.”
“Whatever one talks to you about, you always bring it round to . . .” Von Koren glanced round at Katya and broke off.
“Whatever anyone talks to you about, you always turn it back to . . .” Von Koren looked over at Katya and stopped.
“What do I bring it round to?” asked Laevsky.
“What should I get to the point about?” asked Laevsky.
“One tells you, for instance, how beautiful a bunch of grapes is, and you answer: ‘Yes, but how ugly it is when it is chewed and digested in one’s stomach!’ Why say that? It’s not new, and . . . altogether it is a queer habit.”
“One person tells you how beautiful a bunch of grapes is, and you reply, ‘Sure, but how ugly it becomes after it’s chewed and digested in your stomach!’ Why say that? It’s not original, and... it’s a really odd habit.”
Laevsky knew that Von Koren did not like him, and so was afraid of him, and felt in his presence as though every one were constrained and some one were standing behind his back. He made no answer and walked away, feeling sorry he had come.
Laevsky knew that Von Koren didn't like him, so he was scared of him and felt as if everyone was on edge and someone was standing right behind him. He didn't respond and walked away, regretting that he had come.
“Gentlemen, quick march for brushwood for the fire!” commanded Samoylenko.
“Gentlemen, quickly gather brushwood for the fire!” commanded Samoylenko.
They all wandered off in different directions, and no one was left but Kirilin, Atchmianov, and Nikodim Alexandritch. Kerbalay brought chairs, spread a rug on the ground, and set a few bottles of wine.
They all wandered off in different directions, leaving only Kirilin, Atchmianov, and Nikodim Alexandritch. Kerbalay brought out some chairs, laid a rug on the ground, and set out a few bottles of wine.
The police captain, Kirilin, a tall, good-looking man, who in all weathers wore his great-coat over his tunic, with his haughty deportment, stately carriage, and thick, rather hoarse voice, looked like a young provincial chief of police; his expression was mournful and sleepy, as though he had just been waked against his will.
The police captain, Kirilin, a tall, attractive man, who wore his great coat over his tunic in all kinds of weather, with his arrogant demeanor, dignified stance, and deep, somewhat raspy voice, resembled a young provincial police chief; his expression was sad and drowsy, as if he had just been awakened against his wishes.
“What have you brought this for, you brute?” he asked Kerbalay, deliberately articulating each word. “I ordered you to give us kvarel, and what have you brought, you ugly Tatar? Eh? What?”
“What did you bring this for, you brute?” he asked Kerbalay, deliberately enunciating each word. “I told you to give us kvarel, and what did you bring, you ugly Tatar? Huh? What?”
“We have plenty of wine of our own, Yegor Alekseitch,” Nikodim Alexandritch observed, timidly and politely.
“We have plenty of our own wine, Yegor Alekseitch,” Nikodim Alexandritch remarked, shyly and courteously.
“What? But I want us to have my wine, too; I’m taking part in the picnic and I imagine I have full right to contribute my share. I im-ma-gine so! Bring ten bottles of kvarel.”
“What? But I want us to have my wine, too; I’m joining in on the picnic, and I think I have every right to contribute my share. I believe so! Bring ten bottles of kvarel.”
“Why so many?” asked Nikodim Alexandritch, in wonder, knowing Kirilin had no money.
“Why so many?” asked Nikodim Alexandritch, astonished, knowing Kirilin had no money.
“Twenty bottles! Thirty!” shouted Kirilin.
"Twenty bottles! Thirty!" shouted Kirilin.
“Never mind, let him,” Atchmianov whispered to Nikodim Alexandritch; “I’ll pay.”
“Forget it, let him,” Atchmianov whispered to Nikodim Alexandritch; “I’ll cover it.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was in a light-hearted, mischievous mood; she wanted to skip and jump, to laugh, to shout, to tease, to flirt. In her cheap cotton dress with blue pansies on it, in her red shoes and the same straw hat, she seemed to herself, little, simple, light, ethereal as a butterfly. She ran over the rickety bridge and looked for a minute into the water, in order to feel giddy; then, shrieking and laughing, ran to the other side to the drying-shed, and she fancied that all the men were admiring her, even Kerbalay. When in the rapidly falling darkness the trees began to melt into the mountains and the horses into the carriages, and a light gleamed in the windows of the duhan, she climbed up the mountain by the little path which zigzagged between stones and thorn-bushes and sat on a stone. Down below, the camp-fire was burning. Near the fire, with his sleeves tucked up, the deacon was moving to and fro, and his long black shadow kept describing a circle round it; he put on wood, and with a spoon tied to a long stick he stirred the cauldron. Samoylenko, with a copper-red face, was fussing round the fire just as though he were in his own kitchen, shouting furiously:
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was in a playful, cheeky mood; she wanted to skip and jump, laugh, shout, tease, and flirt. In her inexpensive cotton dress with blue pansies, her red shoes, and the same straw hat, she felt small, simple, light, and delicate like a butterfly. She dashed across the rickety bridge and paused for a moment to look into the water, hoping to feel dizzy; then, shrieking and laughing, she ran to the other side towards the drying shed, convinced that all the men were admiring her, even Kerbalay. As the quickly falling darkness made the trees blend into the mountains and the horses merge into the carriages, and as a light shone in the windows of the duhan, she climbed up the mountain by the little path that zigzagged between stones and thorn-bushes and sat on a stone. Down below, the campfire was burning. Near the fire, with his sleeves rolled up, the deacon was moving back and forth, and his long black shadow was drawing a circle around it; he added wood, and with a spoon tied to a long stick, he stirred the cauldron. Samoylenko, with a copper-red face, was bustling around the fire as if he were in his own kitchen, shouting furiously:
“Where’s the salt, gentlemen? I bet you’ve forgotten it. Why are you all sitting about like lords while I do the work?”
“Where’s the salt, guys? I bet you forgot it. Why are you all sitting around like you’re royalty while I do all the work?”
Laevsky and Nikodim Alexandritch were sitting side by side on the fallen tree looking pensively at the fire. Marya Konstantinovna, Katya, and Kostya were taking the cups, saucers, and plates out of the baskets. Von Koren, with his arms folded and one foot on a stone, was standing on a bank at the very edge of the water, thinking about something. Patches of red light from the fire moved together with the shadows over the ground near the dark human figures, and quivered on the mountain, on the trees, on the bridge, on the drying-shed; on the other side the steep, scooped-out bank was all lighted up and glimmering in the stream, and the rushing turbid water broke its reflection into little bits.
Laevsky and Nikodim Alexandritch were sitting next to each other on the fallen tree, lost in thought as they watched the fire. Marya Konstantinovna, Katya, and Kostya were unpacking cups, saucers, and plates from the baskets. Von Koren stood on the bank at the water's edge, arms crossed and one foot resting on a stone, deep in contemplation. Patches of red light from the fire danced with the shadows on the ground near the dark figures, flickering on the mountain, the trees, the bridge, and the drying-shed; on the opposite side, the steep, scooped-out bank was illuminated and sparkled in the stream, while the rushing murky water shattered its reflection into small fragments.
The deacon went for the fish which Kerbalay was cleaning and washing on the bank, but he stood still half-way and looked about him.
The deacon went for the fish that Kerbalay was cleaning and washing on the bank, but he paused midway and looked around him.
“My God, how nice it is!” he thought. “People, rocks, the fire, the twilight, a monstrous tree—nothing more, and yet how fine it is!”
“My God, how nice it is!” he thought. “People, rocks, the fire, the twilight, a massive tree—nothing more, and yet how great it is!”
On the further bank some unknown persons made their appearance near the drying-shed. The flickering light and the smoke from the camp-fire puffing in that direction made it impossible to get a full view of them all at once, but glimpses were caught now of a shaggy hat and a grey beard, now of a blue shirt, now of a figure, ragged from shoulder to knee, with a dagger across the body; then a swarthy young face with black eyebrows, as thick and bold as though they had been drawn in charcoal. Five of them sat in a circle on the ground, and the other five went into the drying-shed. One was standing at the door with his back to the fire, and with his hands behind his back was telling something, which must have been very interesting, for when Samoylenko threw on twigs and the fire flared up, and scattered sparks and threw a glaring light on the shed, two calm countenances with an expression on them of deep attention could be seen, looking out of the door, while those who were sitting in a circle turned round and began listening to the speaker. Soon after, those sitting in a circle began softly singing something slow and melodious, that sounded like Lenten Church music. . . . Listening to them, the deacon imagined how it would be with him in ten years’ time, when he would come back from the expedition: he would be a young priest and monk, an author with a name and a splendid past; he would be consecrated an archimandrite, then a bishop; and he would serve mass in the cathedral; in a golden mitre he would come out into the body of the church with the ikon on his breast, and blessing the mass of the people with the triple and the double candelabra, would proclaim: “Look down from Heaven, O God, behold and visit this vineyard which Thy Hand has planted,” and the children with their angel voices would sing in response: “Holy God. . .”
On the other side of the river, some unknown people appeared near the drying shed. The flickering light and the smoke from the campfire made it hard to see them clearly all at once, but glimpses were caught of a shaggy hat and a gray beard, then a blue shirt, and a ragged figure from shoulder to knee with a dagger across his body; then a dark young face with thick, bold black eyebrows, as if they had been drawn in charcoal. Five of them sat in a circle on the ground, while the other five went into the drying shed. One person stood at the door with his back to the fire, his hands behind his back, telling something that must have been really interesting because when Samoylenko added twigs to the fire and it flared up, scattering sparks and casting a bright light on the shed, two calm faces with looks of deep attention could be seen peering out of the door, while those sitting in the circle turned around to listen to the speaker. Soon after, the people in the circle began softly singing something slow and melodic that sounded like Lenten Church music. . . . Listening to them, the deacon imagined what his life would be like in ten years when he returned from the expedition: he would be a young priest and monk, a recognized author with a remarkable past; he would be consecrated as an archimandrite, then a bishop; he would serve mass in the cathedral; wearing a golden mitre, he would come out into the congregation with the ikon on his chest, and, blessing the mass of the people with the triple and double candlesticks, would proclaim: “Look down from Heaven, O God, behold and visit this vineyard which Thy Hand has planted,” and the children with their angelic voices would sing in response: “Holy God. . .”
“Deacon, where is that fish?” he heard Samoylenko’s voice.
“Deacon, where's that fish?” he heard Samoylenko's voice.
As he went back to the fire, the deacon imagined the Church procession going along a dusty road on a hot July day; in front the peasants carrying the banners and the women and children the ikons, then the boy choristers and the sacristan with his face tied up and a straw in his hair, then in due order himself, the deacon, and behind him the priest wearing his calotte and carrying a cross, and behind them, tramping in the dust, a crowd of peasants—men, women, and children; in the crowd his wife and the priest’s wife with kerchiefs on their heads. The choristers sing, the babies cry, the corncrakes call, the lark carols. . . . Then they make a stand and sprinkle the herd with holy water. . . . They go on again, and then kneeling pray for rain. Then lunch and talk. . . .
As he walked back to the fire, the deacon pictured the Church procession traveling down a dusty road on a hot July day; up front were the peasants carrying the banners, followed by the women and children holding the icons, then the boy choristers and the sacristan with his face wrapped up and a straw in his hair, then himself, the deacon, in order, and behind him the priest wearing his calotte and carrying a cross, with a crowd of peasants—men, women, and children—trailing behind them, walking through the dust; among them were his wife and the priest’s wife wearing kerchiefs on their heads. The choristers sang, the babies cried, the corncrakes called, and the lark sang. . . . Then they took a break to sprinkle the herd with holy water. . . . They continued on and then knelt to pray for rain. Then came lunch and chatting. . . .
“And that’s nice too . . .” thought the deacon.
“And that’s nice too . . .” thought the deacon.
VII
Kirilin and Atchmianov climbed up the mountain by the path. Atchmianov dropped behind and stopped, while Kirilin went up to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna.
Kirilin and Atchmianov climbed the mountain along the path. Atchmianov fell behind and paused, while Kirilin continued up to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna.
“Good-evening,” he said, touching his cap.
“Good evening,” he said, tipping his cap.
“Good-evening.”
“Good evening.”
“Yes!” said Kirilin, looking at the sky and pondering.
“Yes!” Kirilin said, gazing at the sky and thinking.
“Why ‘yes’?” asked Nadyezhda Fyodorovna after a brief pause, noticing that Atchmianov was watching them both.
“Why ‘yes’?” asked Nadyezhda Fyodorovna after a short pause, noticing that Atchmianov was watching them both.
“And so it seems,” said the officer, slowly, “that our love has withered before it has blossomed, so to speak. How do you wish me to understand it? Is it a sort of coquetry on your part, or do you look upon me as a nincompoop who can be treated as you choose.”
“And so it seems,” said the officer, slowly, “that our love has faded before it even had a chance to grow, so to speak. How do you want me to take this? Is it a kind of flirting on your part, or do you see me as a fool who can be treated however you like?”
“It was a mistake! Leave me alone!” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna said sharply, on that beautiful, marvellous evening, looking at him with terror and asking herself with bewilderment, could there really have been a moment when that man attracted her and had been near to her?
“It was a mistake! Leave me alone!” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna said sharply on that beautiful, amazing evening, looking at him in fear and wondering in confusion, could there really have been a time when that man had attracted her and been close to her?
“So that’s it!” said Kirilin; he thought in silence for a few minutes and said: “Well, I’ll wait till you are in a better humour, and meanwhile I venture to assure you I am a gentleman, and I don’t allow any one to doubt it. Adieu!”
“So that’s it!” said Kirilin; he thought quietly for a few minutes and then said, “Well, I’ll wait until you’re in a better mood, and in the meantime, I want to assure you that I’m a gentleman, and I won’t let anyone doubt that. Goodbye!”
He touched his cap again and walked off, making his way between the bushes. After a short interval Atchmianov approached hesitatingly.
He touched his cap again and walked away, making his way through the bushes. After a brief moment, Atchmianov approached nervously.
“What a fine evening!” he said with a slight Armenian accent.
“What a great evening!” he said with a slight Armenian accent.
He was nice-looking, fashionably dressed, and behaved unaffectedly like a well-bred youth, but Nadyezhda Fyodorovna did not like him because she owed his father three hundred roubles; it was displeasing to her, too, that a shopkeeper had been asked to the picnic, and she was vexed at his coming up to her that evening when her heart felt so pure.
He was attractive, dressed stylishly, and acted casually like a well-mannered young man, but Nadyezhda Fyodorovna didn't like him because she owed his father three hundred rubles; it also bothered her that a shopkeeper had been invited to the picnic, and she was annoyed when he approached her that evening while she felt so at peace.
“The picnic is a success altogether,” he said, after a pause.
“The picnic was a total success,” he said after a moment.
“Yes,” she agreed, and as though suddenly remembering her debt, she said carelessly: “Oh, tell them in your shop that Ivan Andreitch will come round in a day or two and will pay three hundred roubles . . . . I don’t remember exactly what it is.”
“Yes,” she agreed, and as if she suddenly remembered her debt, she said casually: “Oh, let them know in your shop that Ivan Andreitch will stop by in a day or two and will pay three hundred roubles... I can’t remember exactly what it is.”
“I would give another three hundred if you would not mention that debt every day. Why be prosaic?”
“I'd pay another three hundred if you’d stop bringing up that debt every day. Why be so dull?”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna laughed; the amusing idea occurred to her that if she had been willing and sufficiently immoral she might in one minute be free from her debt. If she, for instance, were to turn the head of this handsome young fool! How amusing, absurd, wild it would be really! And she suddenly felt a longing to make him love her, to plunder him, throw him over, and then to see what would come of it.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna laughed; it struck her as funny that if she were willing and a bit immoral, she could be free from her debt in just a minute. What if she seduced this handsome young fool? How funny, ridiculous, and wild that would be! Suddenly, she felt a strong urge to make him fall in love with her, take advantage of him, ditch him, and then see what happened next.
“Allow me to give you one piece of advice,” Atchmianov said timidly. “I beg you to beware of Kirilin. He says horrible things about you everywhere.”
“Let me give you a piece of advice,” Atchmianov said nervously. “I urge you to watch out for Kirilin. He talks badly about you everywhere.”
“It doesn’t interest me to know what every fool says of me,” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna said coldly, and the amusing thought of playing with handsome young Atchmianov suddenly lost its charm.
“It doesn't interest me to know what every fool thinks of me,” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna said coldly, and the fun idea of flirting with charming young Atchmianov suddenly lost its appeal.
“We must go down,” she said; “they’re calling us.”
“We have to go down,” she said, “they're calling us.”
The fish soup was ready by now. They were ladling it out by platefuls, and eating it with the religious solemnity with which this is only done at a picnic; and every one thought the fish soup very good, and thought that at home they had never eaten anything so nice. As is always the case at picnics, in the mass of dinner napkins, parcels, useless greasy papers fluttering in the wind, no one knew where was his glass or where his bread. They poured the wine on the carpet and on their own knees, spilt the salt, while it was dark all round them and the fire burnt more dimly, and every one was too lazy to get up and put wood on. They all drank wine, and even gave Kostya and Katya half a glass each. Nadyezhda Fyodorovna drank one glass and then another, got a little drunk and forgot about Kirilin.
The fish soup was ready by now. They were serving it in heaping platefuls and eating it with the kind of serious enjoyment that's only found at a picnic; everyone thought the fish soup was really good, and believed they had never tasted anything so nice at home. As is typical at picnics, amidst the piles of dinner napkins, packages, and useless greasy papers fluttering in the wind, no one could find their glass or their bread. They spilled wine on the carpet and on their laps, knocked over the salt, while it was dark all around them and the fire burned dimly, and everyone was too lazy to get up and add more wood. They all drank wine, even giving Kostya and Katya half a glass each. Nadyezhda Fyodorovna drank one glass, then another, got a little tipsy, and forgot about Kirilin.
“A splendid picnic, an enchanting evening,” said Laevsky, growing lively with the wine. “But I should prefer a fine winter to all this. ‘His beaver collar is silver with hoar-frost.’”
“A great picnic, a lovely evening,” said Laevsky, getting more animated with the wine. “But I’d rather have a nice winter than all this. ‘His beaver collar is silver with frost.’”
“Every one to his taste,” observed Von Koren.
"Everyone has their own taste," noted Von Koren.
Laevsky felt uncomfortable; the heat of the campfire was beating upon his back, and the hatred of Von Koren upon his breast and face: this hatred on the part of a decent, clever man, a feeling in which there probably lay hid a well-grounded reason, humiliated him and enervated him, and unable to stand up against it, he said in a propitiatory tone:
Laevsky felt uneasy; the warmth of the campfire was beating down on his back, and Von Koren's hatred was pressed against his chest and face. This disdain from a respectable, intelligent man, a sentiment likely rooted in a valid reason, humiliated him and weakened him. Unable to confront it, he said in a conciliatory tone:
“I am passionately fond of nature, and I regret that I’m not a naturalist. I envy you.”
“I am really into nature, and I wish I were a naturalist. I envy you.”
“Well, I don’t envy you, and don’t regret it,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. “I don’t understand how any one can seriously interest himself in beetles and ladybirds while the people are suffering.”
“Well, I don’t envy you, and I don’t regret it,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. “I just don’t see how anyone can seriously be interested in beetles and ladybugs while people are suffering.”
Laevsky shared her opinion. He was absolutely ignorant of natural science, and so could never reconcile himself to the authoritative tone and the learned and profound air of the people who devoted themselves to the whiskers of ants and the claws of beetles, and he always felt vexed that these people, relying on these whiskers, claws, and something they called protoplasm (he always imagined it in the form of an oyster), should undertake to decide questions involving the origin and life of man. But in Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s words he heard a note of falsity, and simply to contradict her he said: “The point is not the ladybirds, but the deductions made from them.”
Laevsky shared his thoughts. He was completely clueless about natural science, so he could never get used to the authoritative tone and the serious vibe of those who focused on the whiskers of ants and the claws of beetles. It always annoyed him that these people, who based their conclusions on those whiskers, claws, and something they called protoplasm (which he always pictured as an oyster), should take it upon themselves to decide questions about the origin and life of humanity. But in Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s words, he sensed a hint of insincerity, and just to argue with her, he said, “The issue isn't the ladybirds, but the conclusions drawn from them.”
VIII
It was late, eleven o’clock, when they began to get into the carriages to go home. They took their seats, and the only ones missing were Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and Atchmianov, who were running after one another, laughing, the other side of the stream.
It was late, around eleven o'clock, when they started getting into the carriages to head home. They took their seats, and the only ones not there were Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and Atchmianov, who were chasing each other, laughing, on the other side of the stream.
“Make haste, my friends,” shouted Samoylenko.
“Hurry, my friends,” shouted Samoylenko.
“You oughtn’t to give ladies wine,” said Von Koren in a low voice.
“You shouldn’t give women wine,” said Von Koren in a low voice.
Laevsky, exhausted by the picnic, by the hatred of Von Koren, and by his own thoughts, went to meet Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and when, gay and happy, feeling light as a feather, breathless and laughing, she took him by both hands and laid her head on his breast, he stepped back and said dryly:
Laevsky, worn out from the picnic, the animosity of Von Koren, and his own thoughts, went to meet Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. When she, cheerful and joyful, feeling light as a feather, breathless and laughing, took him by both hands and rested her head on his chest, he stepped back and said flatly:
“You are behaving like a . . . cocotte.”
“You're acting like a . . . prostitute.”
It sounded horribly coarse, so that he felt sorry for her at once. On his angry, exhausted face she read hatred, pity and vexation with himself, and her heart sank at once. She realised instantly that she had gone too far, had been too free and easy in her behaviour, and overcome with misery, feeling herself heavy, stout, coarse, and drunk, she got into the first empty carriage together with Atchmianov. Laevsky got in with Kirilin, the zoologist with Samoylenko, the deacon with the ladies, and the party set off.
It sounded really harsh, and he immediately felt sorry for her. On his angry, tired face, she saw hatred, pity, and frustration with himself, and her heart dropped. She realized right away that she had crossed a line, had been too casual in her behavior, and overwhelmed with sadness, feeling heavy, awkward, and tipsy, she got into the first empty carriage with Atchmianov. Laevsky got in with Kirilin, the zoologist with Samoylenko, the deacon with the women, and they all set off.
“You see what the Japanese monkeys are like,” Von Koren began, rolling himself up in his cloak and shutting his eyes. “You heard she doesn’t care to take an interest in beetles and ladybirds because the people are suffering. That’s how all the Japanese monkeys look upon people like us. They’re a slavish, cunning race, terrified by the whip and the fist for ten generations; they tremble and burn incense only before violence; but let the monkey into a free state where there’s no one to take it by the collar, and it relaxes at once and shows itself in its true colours. Look how bold they are in picture galleries, in museums, in theatres, or when they talk of science: they puff themselves out and get excited, they are abusive and critical . . . they are bound to criticise—it’s the sign of the slave. You listen: men of the liberal professions are more often sworn at than pickpockets—that’s because three-quarters of society are made up of slaves, of just such monkeys. It never happens that a slave holds out his hand to you and sincerely says ‘Thank you’ to you for your work.”
“You see what the Japanese monkeys are like,” Von Koren started, wrapping himself in his cloak and closing his eyes. “You heard she doesn’t care about beetles and ladybugs because people are suffering. That’s how all the Japanese monkeys view people like us. They’re a submissive, clever bunch, scared of punishment and authority for generations; they only show fear and burn incense in the face of violence. But put a monkey in a free environment where no one can grab it by the collar, and it quickly relaxes and reveals its true self. Look at how bold they are in art galleries, museums, theaters, or when discussing science: they puff themselves up and get all riled up, being rude and critical... they have to criticize—it’s a sign of a slave. Just listen: professionals in liberal fields are cursed at more often than pickpockets—that’s because three-quarters of society is made up of such slaves, those same monkeys. It rarely happens that a slave extends their hand to you and genuinely says ‘Thank you’ for your work.”
“I don’t know what you want,” said Samoylenko, yawning; “the poor thing, in the simplicity of her heart, wanted to talk to you of scientific subjects, and you draw a conclusion from that. You’re cross with him for something or other, and with her, too, to keep him company. She’s a splendid woman.”
"I don’t know what you want," said Samoylenko, yawning; "the poor thing, in her innocence, wanted to talk to you about scientific topics, and you jumped to a conclusion from that. You’re upset with him for some reason, and taking it out on her too, just to keep him company. She’s a wonderful woman."
“Ah, nonsense! An ordinary kept woman, depraved and vulgar. Listen, Alexandr Daviditch; when you meet a simple peasant woman, who isn’t living with her husband, who does nothing but giggle, you tell her to go and work. Why are you timid in this case and afraid to tell the truth? Simply because Nadyezhda Fyodorovna is kept, not by a sailor, but by an official.”
“Ah, come on! She's just a regular kept woman, corrupted and crude. Listen, Alexandr Daviditch; when you meet an ordinary peasant woman who's not living with her husband and just giggles all the time, you tell her to go and work. Why are you being shy about this and scared to speak the truth? It's just because Nadyezhda Fyodorovna is being supported, not by a sailor, but by an official.”
“What am I to do with her?” said Samoylenko, getting angry. “Beat her or what?
“What am I supposed to do with her?” Samoylenko said, getting angry. “Should I beat her or what?”
“Not flatter vice. We curse vice only behind its back, and that’s like making a long nose at it round a corner. I am a zoologist or a sociologist, which is the same thing; you are a doctor; society believes in us; we ought to point out the terrible harm which threatens it and the next generation from the existence of ladies like Nadyezhda Ivanovna.”
“Let’s not flatter vice. We only criticize vice when it’s not around, and that’s just like sticking our nose out at it from behind a wall. I’m a zoologist or a sociologist, which are basically the same; you’re a doctor; society trusts us; we should highlight the serious damage that the presence of women like Nadyezhda Ivanovna poses to it and the next generation.”
“Fyodorovna,” Samoylenko corrected. “But what ought society to do?”
“Fyodorovna,” Samoylenko corrected. “But what should society do?”
“Society? That’s its affair. To my thinking the surest and most direct method is—compulsion. Manu militari she ought to be returned to her husband; and if her husband won’t take her in, then she ought to be sent to penal servitude or some house of correction.”
“Society? That’s their problem. In my opinion, the most effective and straightforward approach is—force. Manu militari she should be returned to her husband; and if her husband won’t take her back, then she should be sent to prison or some kind of correctional facility.”
“Ouf!” sighed Samoylenko. He paused and asked quietly: “You said the other day that people like Laevsky ought to be destroyed. . . . Tell me, if you . . . if the State or society commissioned you to destroy him, could you . . . bring yourself to it?”
“Ouf!” sighed Samoylenko. He paused and asked quietly, “You mentioned the other day that people like Laevsky should be eliminated... Tell me, if you... if the State or society asked you to get rid of him, could you... bring yourself to do it?”
“My hand would not tremble.”
"My hand won't tremble."
IX
When they got home, Laevsky and Nadyezhda Fyodorovna went into their dark, stuffy, dull rooms. Both were silent. Laevsky lighted a candle, while Nadyezhda Fyodorovna sat down, and without taking off her cloak and hat, lifted her melancholy, guilty eyes to him.
When they got home, Laevsky and Nadyezhda Fyodorovna entered their dim, stuffy, boring rooms. Both were quiet. Laevsky lit a candle, while Nadyezhda Fyodorovna sat down, and without taking off her coat and hat, raised her sad, guilty eyes to him.
He knew that she expected an explanation from him, but an explanation would be wearisome, useless and exhausting, and his heart was heavy because he had lost control over himself and been rude to her. He chanced to feel in his pocket the letter which he had been intending every day to read to her, and thought if he were to show her that letter now, it would turn her thoughts in another direction.
He knew she was waiting for him to explain himself, but talking it out would be tiring, pointless, and draining, and he felt bad because he had lost his cool and been rude to her. He happened to feel the letter in his pocket that he had planned to read to her every day, and he thought that if he showed her that letter now, it might redirect her thoughts.
“It is time to define our relations,” he thought. “I will give it her; what is to be will be.”
“It’s time to figure out where we stand,” he thought. “I’ll let her know; what’s meant to happen will happen.”
He took out the letter and gave it her.
He took out the letter and handed it to her.
“Read it. It concerns you.”
“Read it. It’s about you.”
Saying this, he went into his own room and lay down on the sofa in the dark without a pillow. Nadyezhda Fyodorovna read the letter, and it seemed to her as though the ceiling were falling and the walls were closing in on her. It seemed suddenly dark and shut in and terrible. She crossed herself quickly three times and said:
Saying this, he went into his own room and lay down on the sofa in the dark without a pillow. Nadyezhda Fyodorovna read the letter, and it felt to her like the ceiling was collapsing and the walls were closing in on her. It suddenly seemed dark and confined and frightening. She quickly crossed herself three times and said:
“Give him peace, O Lord . . . give him peace. . . .”
“Give him peace, God... give him peace...”
And she began crying.
And she started crying.
“Vanya,” she called. “Ivan Andreitch!”
“Vanya,” she called. “Ivan!”
There was no answer. Thinking that Laevsky had come in and was standing behind her chair, she sobbed like a child, and said:
There was no response. Assuming Laevsky had entered and was standing behind her chair, she cried like a child and said:
“Why did you not tell me before that he was dead? I wouldn’t have gone to the picnic; I shouldn’t have laughed so horribly. . . . The men said horrid things to me. What a sin, what a sin! Save me, Vanya, save me. . . . I have been mad. . . . I am lost. . . .”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier that he was dead? I wouldn’t have gone to the picnic; I shouldn’t have laughed so badly. . . . The guys said terrible things to me. What a shame, what a shame! Help me, Vanya, help me. . . . I’ve been crazy. . . . I am lost. . . .”
Laevsky heard her sobs. He felt stifled and his heart was beating violently. In his misery he got up, stood in the middle of the room, groped his way in the dark to an easy-chair by the table, and sat down.
Laevsky heard her crying. He felt suffocated, and his heart was racing. In his distress, he got up, stood in the center of the room, fumbled his way in the dark to an armchair by the table, and sat down.
“This is a prison . . .” he thought. “I must get away . . . I can’t bear it.”
“This is a prison . . .” he thought. “I have to escape . . . I can’t stand it.”
It was too late to go and play cards; there were no restaurants in the town. He lay down again and covered his ears that he might not hear her sobbing, and he suddenly remembered that he could go to Samoylenko. To avoid going near Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, he got out of the window into the garden, climbed over the garden fence and went along the street. It was dark. A steamer, judging by its lights, a big passenger one, had just come in. He heard the clank of the anchor chain. A red light was moving rapidly from the shore in the direction of the steamer: it was the Customs boat going out to it.
It was too late to go play cards; there weren't any restaurants in town. He lay back down and covered his ears so he wouldn't hear her crying, and then he suddenly remembered that he could go to Samoylenko. To avoid getting close to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, he climbed out of the window into the garden, went over the garden fence, and walked down the street. It was dark. A steamer, judging by its lights—a big passenger one—had just arrived. He heard the clanking of the anchor chain. A red light was moving quickly from the shore toward the steamer; it was the Customs boat heading out to it.
“The passengers are asleep in their cabins . . .” thought Laevsky, and he envied the peace of mind of other people.
“The passengers are asleep in their cabins . . .” thought Laevsky, and he envied the peace of mind of everyone else.
The windows in Samoylenko’s house were open. Laevsky looked in at one of them, then in at another; it was dark and still in the rooms.
The windows in Samoylenko’s house were open. Laevsky looked in at one of them, then at another; it was dark and quiet in the rooms.
“Alexandr Daviditch, are you asleep?” he called. “Alexandr Daviditch!”
“Alexandr Daviditch, are you awake?” he called. “Alexandr Daviditch!”
He heard a cough and an uneasy shout:
He heard a cough and a nervous shout:
“Who’s there? What the devil?”
“Who’s there? What the heck?”
“It is I, Alexandr Daviditch; excuse me.”
“It’s me, Alexandr Daviditch; sorry about that.”
A little later the door opened; there was a glow of soft light from the lamp, and Samoylenko’s huge figure appeared all in white, with a white nightcap on his head.
A little later, the door opened; a soft light from the lamp filled the room, and Samoylenko’s large figure appeared, dressed completely in white, with a white nightcap on his head.
“What now?” he asked, scratching himself and breathing hard from sleepiness. “Wait a minute; I’ll open the door directly.”
“What now?” he asked, scratching himself and breathing heavily from sleepiness. “Just a second; I’ll open the door right away.”
“Don’t trouble; I’ll get in at the window. . . .”
“Don’t worry; I’ll get in through the window. . . .”
Laevsky climbed in at the window, and when he reached Samoylenko, seized him by the hand.
Laevsky climbed in through the window, and when he got to Samoylenko, he grabbed his hand.
“Alexandr Daviditch,” he said in a shaking voice, “save me! I beseech you, I implore you. Understand me! My position is agonising. If it goes on for another two days I shall strangle myself like . . . like a dog.”
“Alexandr Daviditch,” he said in a trembling voice, “help me! I’m begging you, I’m pleading with you. Please understand me! My situation is unbearable. If this continues for another two days, I might kill myself like... like a dog.”
“Wait a bit. . . . What are you talking about exactly?”
“Hold on a second. . . . What exactly are you talking about?”
“Light a candle.”
"Light a candle."
“Oh . . . oh! . . .” sighed Samoylenko, lighting a candle. “My God! My God! . . . Why, it’s past one, brother.”
“Oh . . . oh! . . .” sighed Samoylenko, lighting a candle. “My God! My God! . . . It’s already after one, brother.”
“Excuse me, but I can’t stay at home,” said Laevsky, feeling great comfort from the light and the presence of Samoylenko. “You are my best, my only friend, Alexandr Daviditch. . . . You are my only hope. For God’s sake, come to my rescue, whether you want to or not. I must get away from here, come what may! . . . Lend me the money!”
“Excuse me, but I can’t stay home,” Laevsky said, feeling a lot of comfort from the light and Samoylenko's presence. “You’re my best, my only friend, Alexandr Daviditch. . . . You’re my only hope. For God’s sake, help me, whether you want to or not. I have to get out of here, no matter what! . . . Lend me the money!”
“Oh, my God, my God! . . .” sighed Samoylenko, scratching himself. “I was dropping asleep and I hear the whistle of the steamer, and now you . . . Do you want much?”
“Oh my God, oh my God!” sighed Samoylenko, scratching himself. “I was dozing off and then I hear the steamer’s whistle, and now you... Do you need a lot?”
“Three hundred roubles at least. I must leave her a hundred, and I need two hundred for the journey. . . . I owe you about four hundred already, but I will send it you all . . . all. . . .”
“Three hundred roubles at least. I need to leave her a hundred, and I need two hundred for the trip. . . . I already owe you about four hundred, but I’ll send it all to you. . . all. . . .”
Samoylenko took hold of both his whiskers in one hand, and standing with his legs wide apart, pondered.
Samoylenko grabbed both his whiskers with one hand and stood with his legs spread apart, deep in thought.
“Yes . . .” he muttered, musing. “Three hundred. . . . Yes. . . . But I haven’t got so much. I shall have to borrow it from some one.”
“Yeah . . .” he mumbled, thinking. “Three hundred. . . . Yeah. . . . But I don’t have that much. I’ll have to borrow it from someone.”
“Borrow it, for God’s sake!” said Laevsky, seeing from Samoylenko’s face that he wanted to lend him the money and certainly would lend it. “Borrow it, and I’ll be sure to pay you back. I will send it from Petersburg as soon as I get there. You can set your mind at rest about that. I’ll tell you what, Sasha,” he said, growing more animated; “let us have some wine.”
“Borrow it, for goodness’ sake!” Laevsky said, noticing from Samoylenko’s expression that he wanted to lend him the money and definitely would. “Borrow it, and I promise I’ll pay you back. I’ll send it from Petersburg as soon as I get there. You can relax about that. Here’s an idea, Sasha,” he continued, becoming more enthusiastic; “let’s get some wine.”
“Yes . . . we can have some wine, too.”
“Yes... we can have some wine, too.”
They both went into the dining-room.
They both entered the dining room.
“And how about Nadyezhda Fyodorovna?” asked Samoylenko, setting three bottles and a plate of peaches on the table. “Surely she’s not remaining?”
“And what about Nadyezhda Fyodorovna?” asked Samoylenko, putting three bottles and a plate of peaches on the table. “She’s not staying, is she?”
“I will arrange it all, I will arrange it all,” said Laevsky, feeling an unexpected rush of joy. “I will send her the money afterwards and she will join me. . . . Then we will define our relations. To your health, friend.”
“I'll organize everything, I’ll organize everything,” Laevsky said, feeling an unexpected wave of joy. “I’ll send her the money later and she’ll come to me. . . . Then we can define our relationship. Cheers to you, my friend.”
“Wait a bit,” said Samoylenko. “Drink this first. . . . This is from my vineyard. This bottle is from Navaridze’s vineyard and this one is from Ahatulov’s. . . . Try all three kinds and tell me candidly. . . . There seems a little acidity about mine. Eh? Don’t you taste it?”
“Hold on a second,” said Samoylenko. “Drink this first... This one is from my vineyard. This bottle is from Navaridze’s vineyard and this one is from Ahatulov’s... Try all three types and let me know honestly... Mine seems to have a bit of acidity, doesn’t it? Can you taste it?”
“Yes. You have comforted me, Alexandr Daviditch. Thank you. . . . I feel better.”
“Yes. You’ve made me feel better, Alexandr Daviditch. Thank you. . . . I feel good now.”
“Is there any acidity?”
"Is there any acidity?"
“Goodness only knows, I don’t know. But you are a splendid, wonderful man!”
“Honestly, I have no idea. But you are an amazing, wonderful man!”
Looking at his pale, excited, good-natured face, Samoylenko remembered Von Koren’s view that men like that ought to be destroyed, and Laevsky seemed to him a weak, defenceless child, whom any one could injure and destroy.
Looking at his pale, excited, good-natured face, Samoylenko remembered Von Koren’s belief that people like that should be eliminated, and Laevsky seemed to him like a weak, defenseless child, someone anyone could hurt and destroy.
“And when you go, make it up with your mother,” he said. “It’s not right.”
“And when you leave, make amends with your mom,” he said. “It’s not okay.”
“Yes, yes; I certainly shall.”
“Yes, definitely; I will.”
They were silent for a while. When they had emptied the first bottle, Samoylenko said:
They were quiet for a bit. After they finished the first bottle, Samoylenko said:
“You ought to make it up with Von Koren too. You are both such splendid, clever fellows, and you glare at each other like wolves.”
“You should definitely make amends with Von Koren too. You’re both such great, smart guys, and you’re staring at each other like wolves.”
“Yes, he’s a fine, very intelligent fellow,” Laevsky assented, ready now to praise and forgive every one. “He’s a remarkable man, but it’s impossible for me to get on with him. No! Our natures are too different. I’m an indolent, weak, submissive nature. Perhaps in a good minute I might hold out my hand to him, but he would turn away from me . . . with contempt.”
“Yes, he’s a great, smart guy,” Laevsky agreed, now willing to praise and forgive everyone. “He’s an exceptional person, but I just can’t connect with him. No! Our personalities are way too different. I’m lazy, weak, and submissive. Maybe in a good moment, I could reach out to him, but he would just turn away from me… with disdain.”
Laevsky took a sip of wine, walked from corner to corner and went on, standing in the middle of the room:
Laevsky took a sip of wine, walked from corner to corner, and continued, standing in the middle of the room:
“I understand Von Koren very well. His is a resolute, strong, despotic nature. You have heard him continually talking of ‘the expedition,’ and it’s not mere talk. He wants the wilderness, the moonlit night: all around in little tents, under the open sky, lie sleeping his sick and hungry Cossacks, guides, porters, doctor, priest, all exhausted with their weary marches, while only he is awake, sitting like Stanley on a camp-stool, feeling himself the monarch of the desert and the master of these men. He goes on and on and on, his men groan and die, one after another, and he goes on and on, and in the end perishes himself, but still is monarch and ruler of the desert, since the cross upon his tomb can be seen by the caravans for thirty or forty miles over the desert. I am sorry the man is not in the army. He would have made a splendid military genius. He would not have hesitated to drown his cavalry in the river and make a bridge out of dead bodies. And such hardihood is more needed in war than any kind of fortification or strategy. Oh, I understand him perfectly! Tell me: why is he wasting his substance here? What does he want here?”
“I get Von Koren really well. He's a determined, strong, and tyrannical person. You’ve heard him constantly talking about ‘the expedition,’ and it’s not just talk. He craves the wilderness, the moonlit nights: all around him, his sick and hungry Cossacks, guides, porters, doctor, priest, are sleeping in little tents under the open sky, all worn out from their exhausting journeys, while he is the only one awake, sitting like Stanley on a camp-stool, feeling like the king of the desert and in charge of these men. He keeps pushing forward, even as his men groan and die, one after another, and he continues on, ultimately perishing himself, yet remains the king and ruler of the desert, as the cross on his grave can be seen by caravans from thirty or forty miles away. I wish he were in the army. He would have been an incredible military leader. He wouldn’t hesitate to drown his cavalry in the river and build a bridge from their bodies. That kind of boldness is more essential in war than any fortifications or strategies. Oh, I understand him completely! Tell me: why is he wasting his resources here? What does he want here?”
“He is studying the marine fauna.”
“He's studying marine life.”
“No, no, brother, no!” Laevsky sighed. “A scientific man who was on the steamer told me the Black Sea was poor in animal life, and that in its depths, thanks to the abundance of sulphuric hydrogen, organic life was impossible. All the serious zoologists work at the biological station at Naples or Villefranche. But Von Koren is independent and obstinate: he works on the Black Sea because nobody else is working there; he is at loggerheads with the university, does not care to know his comrades and other scientific men because he is first of all a despot and only secondly a zoologist. And you’ll see he’ll do something. He is already dreaming that when he comes back from his expedition he will purify our universities from intrigue and mediocrity, and will make the scientific men mind their p’s and q’s. Despotism is just as strong in science as in the army. And he is spending his second summer in this stinking little town because he would rather be first in a village than second in a town. Here he is a king and an eagle; he keeps all the inhabitants under his thumb and oppresses them with his authority. He has appropriated every one, he meddles in other people’s affairs; everything is of use to him, and every one is afraid of him. I am slipping out of his clutches, he feels that and hates me. Hasn’t he told you that I ought to be destroyed or sent to hard labour?”
“No, no, brother, no!” Laevsky sighed. “A scientist on the steamer told me the Black Sea has very little marine life, and that in its depths, due to the high levels of hydrogen sulfide, organic life can't thrive. All the serious zoologists work at research stations in Naples or Villefranche. But Von Koren is independent and stubborn: he studies the Black Sea because no one else is; he’s in constant conflict with the university, doesn’t care to know his peers or other scientists because he’s mainly a tyrant and only secondarily a zoologist. And you’ll see he’ll accomplish something. He’s already fantasizing that when he returns from his expedition, he will cleanse our universities of intrigue and mediocrity, and enforce discipline among the scientists. Tyranny is just as prevalent in science as it is in the military. He’s spending his second summer in this foul little town because he prefers being the best in a small place than second in a larger one. Here, he’s a king and an eagle; he keeps all the locals under control and oppresses them with his authority. He has claimed everyone, he interferes in other people’s business; everything is useful to him, and everyone is scared of him. I’m slipping out of his grasp, and he knows it and hates me. Hasn’t he told you I should be eliminated or sent away to hard labor?”
“Yes,” laughed Samoylenko.
"Yes," Samoylenko laughed.
Laevsky laughed too, and drank some wine.
Laevsky laughed as well and had a sip of wine.
“His ideals are despotic too,” he said, laughing, and biting a peach. “Ordinary mortals think of their neighbour—me, you, man in fact—if they work for the common weal. To Von Koren men are puppets and nonentities, too trivial to be the object of his life. He works, will go for his expedition and break his neck there, not for the sake of love for his neighbour, but for the sake of such abstractions as humanity, future generations, an ideal race of men. He exerts himself for the improvement of the human race, and we are in his eyes only slaves, food for the cannon, beasts of burden; some he would destroy or stow away in Siberia, others he would break by discipline, would, like Araktcheev, force them to get up and go to bed to the sound of the drum; would appoint eunuchs to preserve our chastity and morality, would order them to fire at any one who steps out of the circle of our narrow conservative morality; and all this in the name of the improvement of the human race. . . . And what is the human race? Illusion, mirage . . . despots have always been illusionists. I understand him very well, brother. I appreciate him and don’t deny his importance; this world rests on men like him, and if the world were left only to such men as us, for all our good-nature and good intentions, we should make as great a mess of it as the flies have of that picture. Yes.”
“His ideals are tyrannical too,” he said, laughing, and biting into a peach. “Regular people think about their neighbors—me, you, human beings in general—when they work for the common good. To Von Koren, people are just puppets and nonentities, too insignificant to be the focus of his life. He’s driven to go on his expedition and risk his life there, not out of love for his fellow man, but for abstract ideas like humanity, future generations, and an ideal race of people. He pushes himself for the betterment of the human race, and in his eyes, we are merely slaves, cannon fodder, beasts of burden; some he would eliminate or send away to Siberia, others he would break down through discipline, forcing them to wake up and go to sleep to the sound of a drum, just like Araktcheev; he would appoint eunuchs to safeguard our purity and morals, commanding them to shoot anyone who steps outside our narrow conservative values; and all of this in the name of improving the human race... And what is the human race? An illusion, a mirage... tyrants have always been illusionists. I understand him quite well, brother. I recognize his value and don’t deny his significance; this world relies on men like him, and if the world were left only to people like us, despite our good nature and good intentions, we would create just as much chaos as the flies have made of that picture. Yes.”
Laevsky sat down beside Samoylenko, and said with genuine feeling: “I’m a foolish, worthless, depraved man. The air I breathe, this wine, love, life in fact—for all that, I have given nothing in exchange so far but lying, idleness, and cowardice. Till now I have deceived myself and other people; I have been miserable about it, and my misery was cheap and common. I bow my back humbly before Von Koren’s hatred because at times I hate and despise myself.”
Laevsky sat down next to Samoylenko and said with real emotion: “I’m a foolish, worthless, and depraved person. The air I breathe, this wine, love, life in general—I haven’t given anything in return except lies, laziness, and cowardice. Until now, I've deceived myself and others; I’ve felt miserable about it, but my misery was cheap and ordinary. I humbly accept Von Koren’s hatred because sometimes I hate and look down on myself.”
Laevsky began again pacing from one end of the room to the other in excitement, and said:
Laevsky started pacing back and forth across the room in excitement and said:
“I’m glad I see my faults clearly and am conscious of them. That will help me to reform and become a different man. My dear fellow, if only you knew how passionately, with what anguish, I long for such a change. And I swear to you I’ll be a man! I will! I don’t know whether it is the wine that is speaking in me, or whether it really is so, but it seems to me that it is long since I have spent such pure and lucid moments as I have just now with you.”
“I’m glad I can see my flaws clearly and recognize them. That will help me to change and become a different person. My dear friend, if only you knew how deeply, with what pain, I long for such a transformation. And I promise you, I’ll be a man! I really will! I don’t know if it’s the wine talking or if it’s the truth, but it feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve had such honest and clear moments as I just had with you.”
“It’s time to sleep, brother,” said Samoylenko.
“It’s time to sleep, bro,” said Samoylenko.
“Yes, yes. . . . Excuse me; I’ll go directly.”
“Yes, yes. . . . Sorry; I’ll head right there.”
Laevsky moved hurriedly about the furniture and windows, looking for his cap.
Laevsky rushed around the furniture and windows, searching for his cap.
“Thank you,” he muttered, sighing. “Thank you. . . . Kind and friendly words are better than charity. You have given me new life.”
“Thanks,” he mumbled, sighing. “Thanks... Kind and friendly words are better than charity. You’ve given me a new lease on life.”
He found his cap, stopped, and looked guiltily at Samoylenko.
He found his cap, paused, and glanced at Samoylenko with a guilty expression.
“Alexandr Daviditch,” he said in an imploring voice.
“Alexandr Daviditch,” he said in a pleading tone.
“What is it?”
“What’s that?”
“Let me stay the night with you, my dear fellow!”
“Let me spend the night with you, my dear friend!”
“Certainly. . . . Why not?”
“Sure. . . . Why not?”
Laevsky lay down on the sofa, and went on talking to the doctor for a long time.
Laevsky lay down on the couch and talked to the doctor for a long time.
X
Three days after the picnic, Marya Konstantinovna unexpectedly called on Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and without greeting her or taking off her hat, seized her by both hands, pressed them to her breast and said in great excitement:
Three days after the picnic, Marya Konstantinovna unexpectedly dropped by Nadyezhda Fyodorovna's place, and without saying hello or taking off her hat, grabbed her by both hands, pressed them to her chest, and said with a lot of excitement:
“My dear, I am deeply touched and moved: our dear kind-hearted doctor told my Nikodim Alexandritch yesterday that your husband was dead. Tell me, my dear . . . tell me, is it true?”
“My dear, I am really touched and moved: our kind-hearted doctor told my Nikodim Alexandritch yesterday that your husband has died. Please, my dear... tell me, is it true?”
“Yes, it’s true; he is dead,” answered Nadyezhda Fyodorovna.
“Yes, it’s true; he’s dead,” replied Nadyezhda Fyodorovna.
“That is awful, awful, my dear! But there’s no evil without some compensation; your husband was no doubt a noble, wonderful, holy man, and such are more needed in Heaven than on earth.”
“That's terrible, really terrible, my dear! But there’s no bad situation without some good; your husband was undoubtedly a noble, wonderful, holy person, and people like him are needed more in Heaven than here on earth.”
Every line and feature in Marya Konstantinovna’s face began quivering as though little needles were jumping up and down under her skin; she gave an almond-oily smile and said, breathlessly, enthusiastically:
Every line and feature in Marya Konstantinovna’s face started to tremble like tiny needles were bouncing all over under her skin; she flashed an oily smile and said, breathlessly and excitedly:
“And so you are free, my dear. You can hold your head high now, and look people boldly in the face. Henceforth God and man will bless your union with Ivan Andreitch. It’s enchanting. I am trembling with joy, I can find no words. My dear, I will give you away. . . . Nikodim Alexandritch and I have been so fond of you, you will allow us to give our blessing to your pure, lawful union. When, when do you think of being married?”
“And so you are free, my dear. You can hold your head high now and look people boldly in the face. From now on, God and man will bless your union with Ivan Andreitch. It’s enchanting. I’m trembling with joy; I can’t find the words. My dear, I will give you away. . . . Nikodim Alexandritch and I have been so fond of you, and you will let us give our blessing to your pure, lawful union. When, when do you plan to get married?”
“I haven’t thought of it,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, freeing her hands.
“I haven’t thought about it,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, letting her hands go free.
“That’s impossible, my dear. You have thought of it, you have.”
"That's impossible, my dear. You've thought of it, you really have."
“Upon my word, I haven’t,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, laughing. “What should we be married for? I see no necessity for it. We’ll go on living as we have lived.”
“Honestly, I haven’t,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, laughing. “Why should we get married? I don’t see the point. We’ll just keep living as we have been.”
“What are you saying!” cried Marya Konstantinovna in horror. “For God’s sake, what are you saying!”
“What are you talking about!” Marya Konstantinovna exclaimed in shock. “For heaven's sake, what are you saying!”
“Our getting married won’t make things any better. On the contrary, it will make them even worse. We shall lose our freedom.”
“Our getting married won’t improve things. In fact, it will probably make them worse. We’ll lose our freedom.”
“My dear, my dear, what are you saying!” exclaimed Marya Konstantinovna, stepping back and flinging up her hands. “You are talking wildly! Think what you are saying. You must settle down!”
“My dear, my dear, what are you talking about!” exclaimed Marya Konstantinovna, stepping back and throwing up her hands. “You’re speaking crazily! Think about what you’re saying. You need to calm down!”
“‘Settle down.’ How do you mean? I have not lived yet, and you tell me to settle down.”
“‘Settle down.’ What do you mean? I haven’t experienced life yet, and you’re telling me to settle down.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna reflected that she really had not lived. She had finished her studies in a boarding-school and had been married to a man she did not love; then she had thrown in her lot with Laevsky, and had spent all her time with him on this empty, desolate coast, always expecting something better. Was that life?
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna thought about how she really hadn’t lived. She had finished her studies at a boarding school and married a man she didn’t love; then she had chosen to be with Laevsky and had spent all her time with him on this empty, desolate coast, always hoping for something better. Was that what life really was?
“I ought to be married though,” she thought, but remembering Kirilin and Atchmianov she flushed and said:
“I really should get married,” she thought, but when she remembered Kirilin and Atchmianov, she blushed and said:
“No, it’s impossible. Even if Ivan Andreitch begged me to on his knees—even then I would refuse.”
“No, it's impossible. Even if Ivan Andreitch begged me on his knees—even then I would refuse.”
Marya Konstantinovna sat on the sofa for a minute in silence, grave and mournful, gazing fixedly into space; then she got up and said coldly:
Marya Konstantinovna sat on the sofa for a minute in silence, serious and sad, staring blankly into space; then she got up and said coldly:
“Good-bye, my dear! Forgive me for having troubled you. Though it’s not easy for me, it’s my duty to tell you that from this day all is over between us, and, in spite of my profound respect for Ivan Andreitch, the door of my house is closed to you henceforth.”
“Goodbye, my dear! I'm sorry for causing you any trouble. Even though this is hard for me, I need to let you know that from this day forward, everything is finished between us. Despite my deep respect for Ivan Andreitch, you are no longer welcome in my home.”
She uttered these words with great solemnity and was herself overwhelmed by her solemn tone. Her face began quivering again; it assumed a soft almond-oily expression. She held out both hands to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, who was overcome with alarm and confusion, and said in an imploring voice:
She said these words with a lot of seriousness and was taken aback by her own serious tone. Her face started to tremble again; it took on a gentle, almost oily look. She reached out both hands to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, who was filled with alarm and confusion, and said in a pleading voice:
“My dear, allow me if only for a moment to be a mother or an elder sister to you! I will be as frank with you as a mother.”
“My dear, let me for just a moment be a mother or big sister to you! I’ll be completely honest with you like a mother would.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna felt in her bosom warmth, gladness, and pity for herself, as though her own mother had really risen up and were standing before her. She impulsively embraced Marya Konstantinovna and pressed her face to her shoulder. Both of them shed tears. They sat down on the sofa and for a few minutes sobbed without looking at one another or being able to utter a word.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna felt warmth, happiness, and pity for herself, as if her own mother had truly come back and was standing right in front of her. She impulsively hugged Marya Konstantinovna and pressed her face against her shoulder. Both of them cried. They sat down on the sofa and for a few minutes sobbed without looking at each other or being able to say a word.
“My dear child,” began Marya Konstantinovna, “I will tell you some harsh truths, without sparing you.”
“My dear child,” Marya Konstantinovna started, “I’m going to share some tough truths with you, and I won’t hold back.”
“For God’s sake, for God’s sake, do!”
“For goodness' sake, please do!”
“Trust me, my dear. You remember of all the ladies here, I was the only one to receive you. You horrified me from the very first day, but I had not the heart to treat you with disdain like all the rest. I grieved over dear, good Ivan Andreitch as though he were my son —a young man in a strange place, inexperienced, weak, with no mother; and I was worried, dreadfully worried. . . . My husband was opposed to our making his acquaintance, but I talked him over . . . persuaded him. . . . We began receiving Ivan Andreitch, and with him, of course, you. If we had not, he would have been insulted. I have a daughter, a son. . . . You understand the tender mind, the pure heart of childhood . . . ‘who so offendeth one of these little ones.’ . . . I received you into my house and trembled for my children. Oh, when you become a mother, you will understand my fears. And every one was surprised at my receiving you, excuse my saying so, as a respectable woman, and hinted to me . . . well, of course, slanders, suppositions. . . . At the bottom of my heart I blamed you, but you were unhappy, flighty, to be pitied, and my heart was wrung with pity for you.”
“Trust me, my dear. You remember, out of all the ladies here, I was the only one to welcome you. You scared me from the very first day, but I couldn’t bring myself to treat you like the others did. I felt sad for dear, good Ivan Andreitch as if he were my own son—a young man in a strange place, inexperienced, weak, with no mother; and I was worried, terribly worried... My husband didn’t want us to get to know him, but I talked him into it... persuaded him... We started welcoming Ivan Andreitch, and of course, you too. If we hadn’t, he would have felt insulted. I have a daughter, a son... You understand the tender mind, the pure heart of childhood... ‘whoever harms one of these little ones’... I took you into my home and feared for my children. Oh, when you become a mother, you’ll understand my worries. And everyone was surprised that I received you, excuse me for saying this, as a respectable woman, and hinted to me... well, of course, slanders, assumptions... Deep down, I blamed you, but you were unhappy, restless, deserving of pity, and my heart ached for you.”
“But why, why?” asked Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, trembling all over. “What harm have I done any one?”
"But why, why?" asked Nadya, shaking all over. "What harm have I done to anyone?"
“You are a terrible sinner. You broke the vow you made your husband at the altar. You seduced a fine young man, who perhaps had he not met you might have taken a lawful partner for life from a good family in his own circle, and would have been like every one else now. You have ruined his youth. Don’t speak, don’t speak, my dear! I never believe that man is to blame for our sins. It is always the woman’s fault. Men are frivolous in domestic life; they are guided by their minds, and not by their hearts. There’s a great deal they don’t understand; woman understands it all. Everything depends on her. To her much is given and from her much will be required. Oh, my dear, if she had been more foolish or weaker than man on that side, God would not have entrusted her with the education of boys and girls. And then, my dear, you entered on the path of vice, forgetting all modesty; any other woman in your place would have hidden herself from people, would have sat shut up at home, and would only have been seen in the temple of God, pale, dressed all in black and weeping, and every one would have said in genuine compassion: ‘O Lord, this erring angel is coming back again to Thee . . . .’ But you, my dear, have forgotten all discretion; have lived openly, extravagantly; have seemed to be proud of your sin; you have been gay and laughing, and I, looking at you, shuddered with horror, and have been afraid that thunder from Heaven would strike our house while you were sitting with us. My dear, don’t speak, don’t speak,” cried Marya Konstantinovna, observing that Nadyezhda Fyodorovna wanted to speak. “Trust me, I will not deceive you, I will not hide one truth from the eyes of your soul. Listen to me, my dear. . . . God marks great sinners, and you have been marked-out: only think—your costumes have always been appalling.”
“You're a terrible sinner. You broke the vow you made to your husband at the altar. You seduced a fine young man who, if he hadn't met you, might have chosen a lawful partner for life from a good family in his circle and would have been just like everyone else now. You've ruined his youth. Don’t say anything, my dear! I never believe that men are to blame for our sins. It’s always the woman’s fault. Men are careless in domestic life; they’re guided by their minds, not their hearts. There’s so much they don’t get; women understand everything. Everything depends on her. Much is given to her, and much will be expected from her. Oh, my dear, if women were more foolish or weaker than men in that regard, God wouldn’t have entrusted them with the education of boys and girls. And then, my dear, you chose the path of vice, forgetting all modesty; any other woman in your position would have hidden from society, would have stayed at home, and would only have appeared in the temple of God, pale, dressed in black and weeping, and everyone would have said with real compassion: ‘O Lord, this wayward angel is coming back to Thee…’ But you, my dear, have forgotten all discretion; you’ve lived openly and extravagantly; you’ve acted as if you were proud of your sin; you've been cheerful and laughing, and I, watching you, have shuddered with horror, afraid that thunder from Heaven would strike our home while you were with us. My dear, don’t say anything, don’t say anything,” cried Marya Konstantinovna, seeing that Nadyezhda Fyodorovna wanted to speak. “Trust me, I won’t deceive you, I won’t hide any truth from your soul’s eyes. Listen to me, my dear… God marks great sinners, and you’ve been marked: just think—your outfits have always been appalling.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, who had always had the highest opinion of her costumes, left off crying and looked at her with surprise.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, who always thought highly of her outfits, stopped crying and looked at her in surprise.
“Yes, appalling,” Marya Konstantinovna went on. “Any one could judge of your behaviour from the elaboration and gaudiness of your attire. People laughed and shrugged their shoulders as they looked at you, and I grieved, I grieved. . . . And forgive me, my dear; you are not nice in your person! When we met in the bathing-place, you made me tremble. Your outer clothing was decent enough, but your petticoat, your chemise. . . . My dear, I blushed! Poor Ivan Andreitch! No one ever ties his cravat properly, and from his linen and his boots, poor fellow! one can see he has no one at home to look after him. And he is always hungry, my darling, and of course, if there is no one at home to think of the samovar and the coffee, one is forced to spend half one’s salary at the pavilion. And it’s simply awful, awful in your home! No one else in the town has flies, but there’s no getting rid of them in your rooms: all the plates and dishes are black with them. If you look at the windows and the chairs, there’s nothing but dust, dead flies, and glasses. . . . What do you want glasses standing about for? And, my dear, the table’s not cleared till this time in the day. And one’s ashamed to go into your bedroom: underclothes flung about everywhere, india-rubber tubes hanging on the walls, pails and basins standing about. . . . My dear! A husband ought to know nothing, and his wife ought to be as neat as a little angel in his presence. I wake up every morning before it is light, and wash my face with cold water that my Nikodim Alexandritch may not see me looking drowsy.”
“Yes, it's shocking,” Marya Konstantinovna continued. “Anyone could judge your behavior by how flashy and over-the-top your outfit is. People laughed and shook their heads when they saw you, and I felt so sad, I really did. And forgive me, my dear; you don’t look good! When we ran into each other at the bathing place, I was taken aback. Your outer clothes were fine, but your petticoat, your chemise... My dear, I turned red! Poor Ivan Andreitch! No one ever ties his cravat properly, and just by looking at his linen and boots, you can tell he has no one at home to take care of him. And he’s always hungry, my darling, of course, if no one is home to think about the samovar and coffee, you end up spending half your salary at the pavilion. And it’s just terrible, absolutely terrible at your place! No one else in town has flies, but there’s no getting rid of them in your rooms: all the plates and dishes are crawling with them. If you look at the windows and chairs, it’s just dust, dead flies, and glasses... What do you need all those glasses for? And, my dear, the table isn’t cleared even at this hour of the day. It’s embarrassing to step into your bedroom: clothes tossed around everywhere, rubber tubes hanging on the walls, buckets and basins lying around... My dear! A husband shouldn’t know anything, and his wife should be as tidy as a little angel when he’s around. I wake up every morning before dawn and splash cold water on my face so that my Nikodim Alexandritch doesn’t see me looking sleepy.”
“That’s all nonsense,” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna sobbed. “If only I were happy, but I am so unhappy!”
“That's all ridiculous,” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna cried. “If only I were happy, but I’m so unhappy!”
“Yes, yes; you are very unhappy!” Marya Konstantinovna sighed, hardly able to restrain herself from weeping. “And there’s terrible grief in store for you in the future! A solitary old age, ill-health; and then you will have to answer at the dread judgment seat. . . It’s awful, awful. Now fate itself holds out to you a helping hand, and you madly thrust it from you. Be married, make haste and be married!”
“Yes, yes; you’re very unhappy!” Marya Konstantinovna sighed, barely able to hold back her tears. “And there’s terrible sorrow ahead for you! A lonely old age, bad health; and then you’ll have to face the terrifying judgment. . . It’s awful, just awful. Now fate itself is reaching out to help you, and you’re foolishly pushing it away. Get married, hurry up and get married!”
“Yes, we must, we must,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna; “but it’s impossible!”
“Yes, we have to, we have to,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna; “but it’s impossible!”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“It’s impossible. Oh, if only you knew!”
“It’s impossible. Oh, if only you knew!”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna had an impulse to tell her about Kirilin, and how the evening before she had met handsome young Atchmianov at the harbour, and how the mad, ridiculous idea had occurred to her of cancelling her debt for three hundred; it had amused her very much, and she returned home late in the evening feeling that she had sold herself and was irrevocably lost. She did not know herself how it had happened. And she longed to swear to Marya Konstantinovna that she would certainly pay that debt, but sobs and shame prevented her from speaking.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna felt a strong urge to tell her about Kirilin, and how just the night before she had met the attractive young Atchmianov at the harbor, and how the crazy, absurd idea had popped into her head to cancel her debt of three hundred; it had amused her a lot, and she returned home late that night feeling like she had sold herself and was hopelessly lost. She didn’t even know how it had happened. And she wanted to promise Marya Konstantinovna that she would definitely pay that debt, but her sobs and shame stopped her from speaking.
“I am going away,” she said. “Ivan Andreitch may stay, but I am going.”
“I’m leaving,” she said. “Ivan Andreitch can stay, but I’m going.”
“Where?”
“Where at?”
“To Russia.”
"To Russia."
“But how will you live there? Why, you have nothing.”
“But how will you live there? You have nothing.”
“I will do translation, or . . . or I will open a library . . . .”
“I'll do translations, or... or I'll start a library...”
“Don’t let your fancy run away with you, my dear. You must have money for a library. Well, I will leave you now, and you calm yourself and think things over, and to-morrow come and see me, bright and happy. That will be enchanting! Well, good-bye, my angel. Let me kiss you.”
“Don’t get carried away with your imagination, my dear. You need to have money for a library. Well, I’ll leave you now, so take some time to calm down and think things through. Come see me tomorrow, feeling bright and happy. That will be wonderful! Well, goodbye, my angel. Let me kiss you.”
Marya Konstantinovna kissed Nadyezhda Fyodorovna on the forehead, made the sign of the cross over her, and softly withdrew. It was getting dark, and Olga lighted up in the kitchen. Still crying, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna went into the bedroom and lay down on the bed. She began to be very feverish. She undressed without getting up, crumpled up her clothes at her feet, and curled herself up under the bedclothes. She was thirsty, and there was no one to give her something to drink.
Marya Konstantinovna kissed Nadyezhda Fyodorovna on the forehead, made the sign of the cross over her, and quietly walked away. It was getting dark, and Olga turned on the lights in the kitchen. Still crying, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna went into the bedroom and lay down on the bed. She started to feel very feverish. She undressed without getting up, tossed her clothes at her feet, and curled up under the blankets. She was thirsty, and there was no one to bring her something to drink.
“I’ll pay it back!” she said to herself, and it seemed to her in delirium that she was sitting beside some sick woman, and recognised her as herself. “I’ll pay it back. It would be stupid to imagine that it was for money I . . . I will go away and send him the money from Petersburg. At first a hundred . . . then another hundred . . . and then the third hundred. . . .”
“I’ll pay it back!” she told herself, and in her daze, it felt like she was sitting next to a sick woman, recognizing that woman as herself. “I’ll pay it back. It would be foolish to think it was for the money I... I will leave and send him the money from Petersburg. First a hundred... then another hundred... and then the third hundred...”
It was late at night when Laevsky came in.
It was late at night when Laevsky walked in.
“At first a hundred . . .” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna said to him, “then another hundred . . .”
“At first a hundred . . .” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna said to him, “then another hundred . . .”
“You ought to take some quinine,” he said, and thought, “To-morrow is Wednesday; the steamer goes and I am not going in it. So I shall have to go on living here till Saturday.”
“You should take some quinine,” he said, thinking, “Tomorrow is Wednesday; the steamer leaves, and I'm not going on it. So I guess I’ll have to keep living here until Saturday.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna knelt up in bed.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna knelt up in bed.
“I didn’t say anything just now, did I?” she asked, smiling and screwing up her eyes at the light.
“I didn’t say anything just now, did I?” she asked, smiling and squinting at the light.
“No, nothing. We shall have to send for the doctor to-morrow morning. Go to sleep.”
“No, nothing. We’ll need to call the doctor tomorrow morning. Go to sleep.”
He took his pillow and went to the door. Ever since he had finally made up his mind to go away and leave Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, she had begun to raise in him pity and a sense of guilt; he felt a little ashamed in her presence, as though in the presence of a sick or old horse whom one has decided to kill. He stopped in the doorway and looked round at her.
He grabbed his pillow and headed to the door. Ever since he had finally decided to leave Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, she had started to stir feelings of pity and guilt in him; he felt somewhat ashamed around her, like he was in front of a sick or old horse that he had chosen to put down. He paused in the doorway and looked back at her.
“I was out of humour at the picnic and said something rude to you. Forgive me, for God’s sake!”
“I was in a bad mood at the picnic and said something rude to you. Please forgive me, for God’s sake!”
Saying this, he went off to his study, lay down, and for a long while could not get to sleep.
Saying this, he went to his study, lay down, and for a long time couldn’t fall asleep.
Next morning when Samoylenko, attired, as it was a holiday, in full-dress uniform with epaulettes on his shoulders and decorations on his breast, came out of the bedroom after feeling Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s pulse and looking at her tongue, Laevsky, who was standing in the doorway, asked him anxiously: “Well? Well?”
Next morning when Samoylenko, dressed up in full dress uniform with epaulettes on his shoulders and medals on his chest because it was a holiday, came out of the bedroom after checking Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s pulse and looking at her tongue, Laevsky, who was standing in the doorway, asked him anxiously: “Well? Well?”
There was an expression of terror, of extreme uneasiness, and of hope on his face.
There was a look of terror, deep anxiety, and hope on his face.
“Don’t worry yourself; there’s nothing dangerous,” said Samoylenko; “it’s the usual fever.”
“Don’t worry; it’s nothing serious,” said Samoylenko; “it’s just the usual fever.”
“I don’t mean that.” Laevsky frowned impatiently. “Have you got the money?”
“I don’t mean that.” Laevsky frowned impatiently. “Do you have the money?”
“My dear soul, forgive me,” he whispered, looking round at the door and overcome with confusion.
“My dear soul, please forgive me,” he whispered, glancing at the door and filled with embarrassment.
“For God’s sake, forgive me! No one has anything to spare, and I’ve only been able to collect by five- and by ten-rouble notes. . . . Only a hundred and ten in all. To-day I’ll speak to some one else. Have patience.”
“For God’s sake, forgive me! No one has anything to spare, and I’ve only been able to collect five- and ten-rouble notes. . . . Only a hundred and ten in total. Today I’ll talk to someone else. Please be patient.”
“But Saturday is the latest date,” whispered Laevsky, trembling with impatience. “By all that’s sacred, get it by Saturday! If I don’t get away by Saturday, nothing’s any use, nothing! I can’t understand how a doctor can be without money!”
“But Saturday is the latest date,” whispered Laevsky, shaking with impatience. “For all that's holy, get it by Saturday! If I don’t get away by Saturday, nothing matters, nothing! I can’t understand how a doctor can be broke!”
“Lord have mercy on us!” Samoylenko whispered rapidly and intensely, and there was positively a breaking note in his throat. “I’ve been stripped of everything; I am owed seven thousand, and I’m in debt all round. Is it my fault?”
"Lord, have mercy on us!" Samoylenko whispered quickly and urgently, and there was definitely a cracking sound in his voice. "I've been stripped of everything; I’m owed seven thousand and I'm in debt all over. Is it my fault?"
“Then you’ll get it by Saturday? Yes?”
“so you’ll have it by Saturday? Right?”
“I’ll try.”
"I'll give it a shot."
“I implore you, my dear fellow! So that the money may be in my hands by Friday morning!”
“I beg you, my friend! I need the money in my hands by Friday morning!”
Samoylenko sat down and prescribed solution of quinine and kalii bromati and tincture of rhubarb, tincturæ gentianæ, aquæ foeniculi —all in one mixture, added some pink syrup to sweeten it, and went away.
Samoylenko sat down and prescribed a solution of quinine and potassium bromide, along with tincture of rhubarb, tincture of gentian, and fennel water—all in one mixture. He added some pink syrup to sweeten it and then left.
XI
“You look as though you were coming to arrest me,” said Von Koren, seeing Samoylenko coming in, in his full-dress uniform.
“You look like you're here to arrest me,” said Von Koren, seeing Samoylenko walk in, wearing his full-dress uniform.
“I was passing by and thought: ‘Suppose I go in and pay my respects to zoology,’” said Samoylenko, sitting down at the big table, knocked together by the zoologist himself out of plain boards. “Good-morning, holy father,” he said to the deacon, who was sitting in the window, copying something. “I’ll stay a minute and then run home to see about dinner. It’s time. . . . I’m not hindering you?”
“I was walking by and thought, ‘Maybe I should pop in and pay my respects to zoology,’” said Samoylenko, sitting down at the large table that the zoologist had built out of simple boards. “Good morning, holy father,” he said to the deacon, who was sitting by the window, copying something. “I’ll stay for a minute and then head home to check on dinner. It’s about that time... I’m not interrupting, am I?”
“Not in the least,” answered the zoologist, laying out over the table slips of paper covered with small writing. “We are busy copying.”
“Not at all,” replied the zoologist, spreading slips of paper filled with tiny handwriting across the table. “We’re busy making copies.”
“Ah! . . . Oh, my goodness, my goodness! . . .” sighed Samoylenko. He cautiously took up from the table a dusty book on which there was lying a dead dried spider, and said: “Only fancy, though; some little green beetle is going about its business, when suddenly a monster like this swoops down upon it. I can fancy its terror.”
“Ah! . . . Oh, my gosh, my gosh! . . .” sighed Samoylenko. He carefully picked up a dusty book from the table that had a dead, dried spider on it and said: “Just imagine; some little green beetle is going about its day when suddenly a monster like this drops down on it. I can imagine the fear it must feel.”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
"Yeah, I guess so."
“Is poison given it to protect it from its enemies?”
“Is poison given to it to protect it from its enemies?”
“Yes, to protect it and enable it to attack.”
“Yes, to safeguard it and allow it to strike.”
“To be sure, to be sure. . . . And everything in nature, my dear fellows, is consistent and can be explained,” sighed Samoylenko; “only I tell you what I don’t understand. You’re a man of very great intellect, so explain it to me, please. There are, you know, little beasts no bigger than rats, rather handsome to look at, but nasty and immoral in the extreme, let me tell you. Suppose such a little beast is running in the woods. He sees a bird; he catches it and devours it. He goes on and sees in the grass a nest of eggs; he does not want to eat them—he is not hungry, but yet he tastes one egg and scatters the others out of the nest with his paw. Then he meets a frog and begins to play with it; when he has tormented the frog he goes on licking himself and meets a beetle; he crushes the beetle with his paw . . . and so he spoils and destroys everything on his way. . . . He creeps into other beasts’ holes, tears up the anthills, cracks the snail’s shell. If he meets a rat, he fights with it; if he meets a snake or a mouse, he must strangle it; and so the whole day long. Come, tell me: what is the use of a beast like that? Why was he created?”
“To be sure, to be sure... And everything in nature, my dear friends, is consistent and can be explained,” sighed Samoylenko; “but here’s something I don’t get. You’re a very intelligent person, so please explain it to me. There are little creatures no bigger than rats, quite nice to look at, but they’re really nasty and extremely immoral, I must say. Imagine such a little creature running through the woods. It spots a bird, catches it, and eats it. Then it comes across a nest of eggs in the grass; it doesn’t feel like eating them—it's not hungry—but it tastes one egg and knocks the others out of the nest with its paw. Next, it finds a frog and starts to play with it; after tormenting the frog, it goes back to licking itself and encounters a beetle, which it squashes with its paw... and so it ruins and destroys everything in its path. It creeps into other animals' burrows, digs up anthills, and breaks snail shells. If it sees a rat, it fights with it; if it sees a snake or a mouse, it strangles them; and that’s how it spends the whole day. Come on, tell me: what’s the point of a creature like that? Why was it created?”
“I don’t know what animal you are talking of,” said Von Koren; “most likely one of the insectivora. Well, he got hold of the bird because it was incautious; he broke the nest of eggs because the bird was not skilful, had made the nest badly and did not know how to conceal it. The frog probably had some defect in its colouring or he would not have seen it, and so on. Your little beast only destroys the weak, the unskilful, the careless—in fact, those who have defects which nature does not think fit to hand on to posterity. Only the cleverer, the stronger, the more careful and developed survive; and so your little beast, without suspecting it, is serving the great ends of perfecting creation.”
“I don’t know what animal you’re talking about,” said Von Koren; “most likely one of the insectivores. Well, it caught the bird because it wasn’t careful; it broke the nest of eggs because the bird wasn’t skilled, built its nest poorly, and didn’t know how to hide it. The frog probably had some flaw in its coloring, or it wouldn’t have been noticed, and so on. Your little creature only harms the weak, the unskilled, the careless—in fact, those with traits that nature doesn’t consider worthy of passing on to future generations. Only the smarter, stronger, more careful, and more developed ones survive; and so your little creature, without realizing it, is helping to perfect creation.”
“Yes, yes, yes. . . . By the way, brother,” said Samoylenko carelessly, “lend me a hundred roubles.”
“Yes, yes, yes... By the way, brother,” Samoylenko said casually, “can you lend me a hundred roubles?”
“Very good. There are some very interesting types among the insectivorous mammals. For instance, the mole is said to be useful because he devours noxious insects. There is a story that some German sent William I. a fur coat made of moleskins, and the Emperor ordered him to be reproved for having destroyed so great a number of useful animals. And yet the mole is not a bit less cruel than your little beast, and is very mischievous besides, as he spoils meadows terribly.”
“Very good. There are some really interesting types among the insect-eating mammals. For example, the mole is said to be helpful because it eats harmful insects. There's a story that some Germans sent William I a fur coat made of moleskins, and the Emperor ordered him to be reprimanded for killing so many useful animals. Yet, the mole is no less cruel than your little creature, and it's quite mischievous too, as it really damages meadows.”
Von Koren opened a box and took out a hundred-rouble note.
Von Koren opened a box and pulled out a hundred-rouble bill.
“The mole has a powerful thorax, just like the bat,” he went on, shutting the box; “the bones and muscles are tremendously developed, the mouth is extraordinarily powerfully furnished. If it had the proportions of an elephant, it would be an all-destructive, invincible animal. It is interesting when two moles meet underground; they begin at once as though by agreement digging a little platform; they need the platform in order to have a battle more conveniently. When they have made it they enter upon a ferocious struggle and fight till the weaker one falls. Take the hundred roubles,” said Von Koren, dropping his voice, “but only on condition that you’re not borrowing it for Laevsky.”
“The mole has a strong chest, just like the bat,” he continued, closing the box; “its bones and muscles are incredibly developed, and its mouth is exceptionally powerful. If it were the size of an elephant, it would be an all-destructive, unbeatable creature. It's fascinating when two moles meet underground; they immediately start digging a little platform, almost as if they’ve agreed on it. They need this platform to have a more convenient fight. Once they’ve made it, they engage in a brutal struggle until the weaker one falls. Take the hundred rubles,” said Von Koren, lowering his voice, “but only if you’re not borrowing it for Laevsky.”
“And if it were for Laevsky,” cried Samoylenko, flaring up, “what is that to you?”
“And if it’s for Laevsky,” shouted Samoylenko, getting fired up, “what does that matter to you?”
“I can’t give it to you for Laevsky. I know you like lending people money. You would give it to Kerim, the brigand, if he were to ask you; but, excuse me, I can’t assist you in that direction.”
“I can’t give it to you for Laevsky. I know you enjoy lending money to people. You would lend it to Kerim, the thug, if he asked you; but, sorry, I can’t help you with that.”
“Yes, it is for Laevsky I am asking it,” said Samoylenko, standing up and waving his right arm. “Yes! For Laevsky! And no one, fiend or devil, has a right to dictate to me how to dispose of my own money. It doesn’t suit you to lend it me? No?”
“Yes, I'm asking it for Laevsky,” Samoylenko said, standing up and waving his right arm. “Yes! For Laevsky! And no one, not a fiend or a devil, has the right to tell me how to handle my own money. You don’t want to lend it to me? No?”
The deacon began laughing.
The deacon started laughing.
“Don’t get excited, but be reasonable,” said the zoologist. “To shower benefits on Mr. Laevsky is, to my thinking, as senseless as to water weeds or to feed locusts.”
“Don’t get too excited, but be realistic,” said the zoologist. “Giving benefits to Mr. Laevsky is, in my opinion, as pointless as watering weeds or feeding locusts.”
“To my thinking, it is our duty to help our neighbours!” cried Samoylenko.
“To my mind, it's our responsibility to help our neighbors!” shouted Samoylenko.
“In that case, help that hungry Turk who is lying under the fence! He is a workman and more useful and indispensable than your Laevsky. Give him that hundred-rouble note! Or subscribe a hundred roubles to my expedition!”
“In that case, help that hungry Turk who’s lying under the fence! He’s a worker and way more useful and essential than your Laevsky. Give him that hundred-rouble note! Or donate a hundred roubles to my expedition!”
“Will you give me the money or not? I ask you!”
“Will you give me the money or not? I’m asking you!”
“Tell me openly: what does he want money for?”
“Tell me directly: what does he need the money for?”
“It’s not a secret; he wants to go to Petersburg on Saturday.”
“It’s no secret; he wants to go to Petersburg on Saturday.”
“So that is it!” Von Koren drawled out. “Aha! . . . We understand. And is she going with him, or how is it to be?”
“So that’s it!” Von Koren said slowly. “Aha! . . . We get it. Is she going with him, or what’s the deal?”
“She’s staying here for the time. He’ll arrange his affairs in Petersburg and send her the money, and then she’ll go.”
“She’s staying here for now. He’ll sort out his stuff in Petersburg and send her the money, and then she’ll leave.”
“That’s smart!” said the zoologist, and he gave a short tenor laugh. “Smart, well planned.”
"That's clever!" said the zoologist, and he let out a quick laugh. "Clever, well thought out."
He went rapidly up to Samoylenko, and standing face to face with him, and looking him in the eyes, asked: “Tell me now honestly: is he tired of her? Yes? tell me: is he tired of her? Yes?”
He quickly approached Samoylenko, standing directly in front of him, looking him in the eyes, and asked, "Tell me honestly: is he tired of her? Yes? Just tell me: is he tired of her? Yes?"
“Yes,” Samoylenko articulated, beginning to perspire.
“Yes,” Samoylenko said, starting to sweat.
“How repulsive it is!” said Von Koren, and from his face it could be seen that he felt repulsion. “One of two things, Alexandr Daviditch: either you are in the plot with him, or, excuse my saying so, you are a simpleton. Surely you must see that he is taking you in like a child in the most shameless way? Why, it’s as clear as day that he wants to get rid of her and abandon her here. She’ll be left a burden on you. It is as clear as day that you will have to send her to Petersburg at your expense. Surely your fine friend can’t have so blinded you by his dazzling qualities that you can’t see the simplest thing?”
“How disgusting!” said Von Koren, and his expression clearly showed his disgust. “One of two things, Alexandr Daviditch: either you are in on the scheme with him, or, pardon my saying so, you’re just not very bright. You must realize that he’s playing you like a fool in the most shameless way, right? It’s obvious that he wants to get rid of her and leave her here. She’ll end up being your burden. It’s plain to see that you’ll have to send her to Petersburg at your own expense. Surely your charming friend hasn’t dazzled you so much that you can’t see something so simple?”
“That’s all supposition,” said Samoylenko, sitting down.
"That's all speculation," said Samoylenko, sitting down.
“Supposition? But why is he going alone instead of taking her with him? And ask him why he doesn’t send her off first. The sly beast!”
“Assumption? But why is he going alone instead of bringing her along? And ask him why he doesn’t send her away first. The sneaky jerk!”
Overcome with sudden doubts and suspicions about his friend, Samoylenko weakened and took a humbler tone.
Overcome with sudden doubts and suspicions about his friend, Samoylenko softened and adopted a more humble tone.
“But it’s impossible,” he said, recalling the night Laevsky had spent at his house. “He is so unhappy!”
"But it's impossible," he said, remembering the night Laevsky stayed at his place. "He's so miserable!"
“What of that? Thieves and incendiaries are unhappy too!”
“What about that? Thieves and arsonists are unhappy too!”
“Even supposing you are right . . .” said Samoylenko, hesitating. “Let us admit it. . . . Still, he’s a young man in a strange place . . . a student. We have been students, too, and there is no one but us to come to his assistance.”
“Even if you’re right . . .” said Samoylenko, hesitating. “Let’s admit it. . . . Still, he’s a young guy in an unfamiliar place . . . a student. We’ve been students too, and no one else is here to help him.”
“To help him to do abominable things, because he and you at different times have been at universities, and neither of you did anything there! What nonsense!”
“To help him do horrible things, just because you both attended universities at different times, and neither of you accomplished anything there! What nonsense!”
“Stop; let us talk it over coolly. I imagine it will be possible to make some arrangement. . . .” Samoylenko reflected, twiddling his fingers. “I’ll give him the money, you see, but make him promise on his honour that within a week he’ll send Nadyezhda Fyodorovna the money for the journey.”
“Wait; let’s discuss this calmly. I think we can work something out. . . .” Samoylenko thought for a moment, fiddling with his fingers. “I’ll give him the money, but I want him to promise on his honor that he’ll send Nadyezhda Fyodorovna the money for the trip within a week.”
“And he’ll give you his word of honour—in fact, he’ll shed tears and believe in it himself; but what’s his word of honour worth? He won’t keep it, and when in a year or two you meet him on the Nevsky Prospect with a new mistress on his arm, he’ll excuse himself on the ground that he has been crippled by civilisation, and that he is made after the pattern of Rudin. Drop him, for God’s sake! Keep away from the filth; don’t stir it up with both hands!”
“And he'll give you his word of honor—actually, he might even cry about it and genuinely believe in it himself; but how much is his word worth? He won't stand by it, and when you see him a year or two later on Nevsky Prospect with a new girlfriend, he'll justify himself by saying that he's been messed up by society and that he's just like Rudin. Just forget about him, for your own sake! Stay away from the mess; don’t get involved!”
Samoylenko thought for a minute and said resolutely:
Samoylenko thought for a moment and said firmly:
“But I shall give him the money all the same. As you please. I can’t bring myself to refuse a man simply on an assumption.”
“But I’m going to give him the money anyway. As you wish. I just can’t bring myself to say no to someone based solely on a guess.”
“Very fine, too. You can kiss him if you like.”
“Sure, you can kiss him if you want.”
“Give me the hundred roubles, then,” Samoylenko asked timidly.
“Please give me the hundred rubles, then,” Samoylenko asked shyly.
“I won’t.”
“I won't.”
A silence followed. Samoylenko was quite crushed; his face wore a guilty, abashed, and ingratiating expression, and it was strange to see this pitiful, childish, shamefaced countenance on a huge man wearing epaulettes and orders of merit.
A silence followed. Samoylenko was completely defeated; his face had a guilty, embarrassed, and overly eager expression, and it was odd to see this pitiful, childlike, shamefaced look on a big man wearing epaulettes and medals.
“The bishop here goes the round of his diocese on horseback instead of in a carriage,” said the deacon, laying down his pen. “It’s extremely touching to see him sit on his horse. His simplicity and humility are full of Biblical grandeur.”
“The bishop rides around his diocese on horseback instead of using a carriage,” said the deacon, putting down his pen. “It’s really moving to watch him on his horse. His simplicity and humility are incredibly inspiring.”
“Is he a good man?” asked Von Koren, who was glad to change the conversation.
“Is he a good guy?” asked Von Koren, who was happy to shift the conversation.
“Of course! If he hadn’t been a good man, do you suppose he would have been consecrated a bishop?”
“Of course! If he hadn’t been a good person, do you really think he would have been made a bishop?”
“Among the bishops are to be found good and gifted men,” said Von Koren. “The only drawback is that some of them have the weakness to imagine themselves statesmen. One busies himself with Russification, another criticises the sciences. That’s not their business. They had much better look into their consistory a little.”
“Among the bishops, there are good and talented men,” said Von Koren. “The only downside is that some of them mistakenly think they are statesmen. One focuses on Russification, while another critiques the sciences. That’s not their area. They would be better off paying a bit more attention to their consistory.”
“A layman cannot judge of bishops.”
“An outsider cannot judge bishops.”
“Why so, deacon? A bishop is a man just the same as you or I.”
“Why is that, deacon? A bishop is just a man like you or me.”
“The same, but not the same.” The deacon was offended and took up his pen. “If you had been the same, the Divine Grace would have rested upon you, and you would have been bishop yourself; and since you are not bishop, it follows you are not the same.”
“The same, but not the same.” The deacon was offended and picked up his pen. “If you had been the same, Divine Grace would have been upon you, and you would have been a bishop yourself; and since you’re not a bishop, it follows that you’re not the same.”
“Don’t talk nonsense, deacon,” said Samoylenko dejectedly. “Listen to what I suggest,” he said, turning to Von Koren. “Don’t give me that hundred roubles. You’ll be having your dinners with me for three months before the winter, so let me have the money beforehand for three months.”
“Stop talking nonsense, deacon,” Samoylenko said sadly. “Listen to my suggestion,” he said, turning to Von Koren. “Don't give me that hundred roubles. You'll be having dinner with me for three months before winter, so just give me the money upfront for those three months.”
“I won’t.”
"I won't."
Samoylenko blinked and turned crimson; he mechanically drew towards him the book with the spider on it and looked at it, then he got up and took his hat.
Samoylenko blinked and turned red; he automatically pulled the book with the spider on it closer and stared at it, then he stood up and grabbed his hat.
Von Koren felt sorry for him.
Von Koren felt sympathy for him.
“What it is to have to live and do with people like this,” said the zoologist, and he kicked a paper into the corner with indignation. “You must understand that this is not kindness, it is not love, but cowardice, slackness, poison! What’s gained by reason is lost by your flabby good-for-nothing hearts! When I was ill with typhoid as a schoolboy, my aunt in her sympathy gave me pickled mushrooms to eat, and I very nearly died. You, and my aunt too, must understand that love for man is not to be found in the heart or the stomach or the bowels, but here!”
“What it's like to deal with people like this,” said the zoologist, kicking a piece of paper into the corner in frustration. “You need to understand that this isn’t kindness, it isn’t love, but cowardice, laziness, poison! What’s gained by reason is lost by your weak, useless hearts! When I had typhoid as a schoolboy, my aunt, in her sympathy, gave me pickled mushrooms to eat, and I almost died. You, and my aunt too, need to realize that love for humanity isn’t found in the heart or the stomach or the bowels, but right here!”
Von Koren slapped himself on the forehead.
Von Koren facepalmed.
“Take it,” he said, and thrust a hundred-rouble note into his hand.
“Take it,” he said, and shoved a hundred-ruble note into his hand.
“You’ve no need to be angry, Kolya,” said Samoylenko mildly, folding up the note. “I quite understand you, but . . . you must put yourself in my place.”
“You don’t need to be upset, Kolya,” Samoylenko said calmly, folding the note. “I totally get where you’re coming from, but . . . you have to try to see things from my perspective.”
“You are an old woman, that’s what you are.”
"You’re just an old woman, that’s what you are."
The deacon burst out laughing.
The deacon laughed out loud.
“Hear my last request, Alexandr Daviditch,” said Von Koren hotly. “When you give that scoundrel the money, make it a condition that he takes his lady with him, or sends her on ahead, and don’t give it him without. There’s no need to stand on ceremony with him. Tell him so, or, if you don’t, I give you my word I’ll go to his office and kick him downstairs, and I’ll break off all acquaintance with you. So you’d better know it.”
“Hear my last request, Alexandr Daviditch,” said Von Koren passionately. “When you give that jerk the money, make it a requirement that he takes his lady with him, or sends her ahead, and don’t give it to him without that condition. There’s no need to be formal with him. Tell him that, or if you don’t, I swear I’ll go to his office and throw him down the stairs, and I’ll cut off all ties with you. So you better understand that.”
“Well! To go with her or send her on beforehand will be more convenient for him,” said Samoylenko. “He’ll be delighted indeed. Well, goodbye.”
“Well! It’ll be more convenient for him if she goes with him or heads out first,” said Samoylenko. “He’ll be really happy about it. Well, goodbye.”
He said good-bye affectionately and went out, but before shutting the door after him, he looked round at Von Koren and, with a ferocious face, said:
He said goodbye warmly and stepped outside, but before closing the door behind him, he glanced back at Von Koren and, with an intense expression, said:
“It’s the Germans who have ruined you, brother! Yes! The Germans!”
“It’s the Germans who have messed you up, brother! Yes! The Germans!”
XII
Next day, Thursday, Marya Konstantinovna was celebrating the birthday of her Kostya. All were invited to come at midday and eat pies, and in the evening to drink chocolate. When Laevsky and Nadyezhda Fyodorovna arrived in the evening, the zoologist, who was already sitting in the drawing-room, drinking chocolate, asked Samoylenko:
Next day, Thursday, Marya Konstantinovna was celebrating her Kostya’s birthday. Everyone was invited to come at noon for pies, and in the evening for chocolate. When Laevsky and Nadyezhda Fyodorovna arrived in the evening, the zoologist, who was already in the living room drinking chocolate, asked Samoylenko:
“Have you talked to him?”
"Have you spoken to him?"
“Not yet.”
“Not yet.”
“Mind now, don’t stand on ceremony. I can’t understand the insolence of these people! Why, they know perfectly well the view taken by this family of their cohabitation, and yet they force themselves in here.”
“Listen, don’t be formal about it. I can’t believe the nerve of these people! They know exactly how this family feels about their living situation, and yet they still barge in here.”
“If one is to pay attention to every prejudice,” said Samoylenko, “one could go nowhere.”
“If you pay attention to every bias,” said Samoylenko, “you won’t get anywhere.”
“Do you mean to say that the repugnance felt by the masses for illicit love and moral laxity is a prejudice?”
“Are you saying that the disgust the public feels for forbidden love and moral looseness is just a bias?”
“Of course it is. It’s prejudice and hate. When the soldiers see a girl of light behaviour, they laugh and whistle; but just ask them what they are themselves.”
“Of course it is. It’s prejudice and hate. When the soldiers see a girl who acts flirtatiously, they laugh and whistle; but just ask them what they are like themselves.”
“It’s not for nothing they whistle. The fact that girls strangle their illegitimate children and go to prison for it, and that Anna Karenin flung herself under the train, and that in the villages they smear the gates with tar, and that you and I, without knowing why, are pleased by Katya’s purity, and that every one of us feels a vague craving for pure love, though he knows there is no such love—is all that prejudice? That is the one thing, brother, which has survived intact from natural selection, and, if it were not for that obscure force regulating the relations of the sexes, the Laevskys would have it all their own way, and mankind would degenerate in two years.”
“It’s not like they whistle for no reason. The fact that girls end up killing their illegitimate children and getting locked up for it, and that Anna Karenina threw herself under a train, and that in the villages they cover the gates with tar, and that you and I, without really knowing why, feel a sense of satisfaction from Katya’s innocence, and that every one of us has a vague desire for pure love, even though we know it doesn’t really exist—is all of that just prejudice? That’s the one thing, brother, that has survived intact from natural selection, and if it weren’t for that mysterious force controlling the relationships between men and women, the Laevskys would have everything their way, and humanity would decline in just two years.”
Laevsky came into the drawing-room, greeted every one, and shaking hands with Von Koren, smiled ingratiatingly. He waited for a favourable moment and said to Samoylenko:
Laevsky walked into the living room, said hello to everyone, and shook hands with Von Koren while smiling pleasantly. He waited for the right moment and said to Samoylenko:
“Excuse me, Alexandr Daviditch, I must say two words to you.”
“Excuse me, Alexandr Daviditch, I need to say a couple of things to you.”
Samoylenko got up, put his arm round Laevsky’s waist, and both of them went into Nikodim Alexandritch’s study.
Samoylenko stood up, wrapped his arm around Laevsky’s waist, and they both walked into Nikodim Alexandritch’s study.
“To-morrow’s Friday,” said Laevsky, biting his nails. “Have you got what you promised?”
“Tomorrow's Friday,” Laevsky said, biting his nails. “Do you have what you promised?”
“I’ve only got two hundred. I’ll get the rest to-day or to-morrow. Don’t worry yourself.”
“I’ve only got two hundred. I’ll get the rest today or tomorrow. Don’t worry about it.”
“Thank God . . .” sighed Laevsky, and his hands began trembling with joy. “You are saving me, Alexandr Daviditch, and I swear to you by God, by my happiness and anything you like, I’ll send you the money as soon as I arrive. And I’ll send you my old debt too.”
“Thank God . . .” Laevsky sighed, his hands shaking with joy. “You’re saving me, Alexandr Daviditch, and I swear to you by God, by my happiness, and anything else you want, I’ll send you the money as soon as I get there. And I’ll pay you back my old debt too.”
“Look here, Vanya . . .” said Samoylenko, turning crimson and taking him by the button. “You must forgive my meddling in your private affairs, but . . . why shouldn’t you take Nadyezhda Fyodorovna with you?”
“Look, Vanya . . .” said Samoylenko, turning red and grabbing him by the button. “You have to forgive me for getting involved in your personal matters, but . . . why not take Nadyezhda Fyodorovna with you?”
“You queer fellow. How is that possible? One of us must stay, or our creditors will raise an outcry. You see, I owe seven hundred or more to the shops. Only wait, and I will send them the money. I’ll stop their mouths, and then she can come away.”
“You weird guy. How is that even possible? One of us has to stay, or our creditors will cause a fuss. You see, I owe seven hundred or more to the stores. Just wait, and I’ll send them the money. I’ll shut them up, and then she can leave.”
“I see. . . . But why shouldn’t you send her on first?”
“I get it. . . . But why not send her first?”
“My goodness, as though that were possible!” Laevsky was horrified. “Why, she’s a woman; what would she do there alone? What does she know about it? That would only be a loss of time and a useless waste of money.”
“My goodness, as if that could happen!” Laevsky was shocked. “Why, she’s a woman; what would she do there by herself? What does she understand about it? That would just be a waste of time and money.”
“That’s reasonable . . .” thought Samoylenko, but remembering his conversation with Von Koren, he looked down and said sullenly: “I can’t agree with you. Either go with her or send her first; otherwise . . . otherwise I won’t give you the money. Those are my last words. . .”
“That’s reasonable . . .” thought Samoylenko, but recalling his conversation with Von Koren, he looked down and said gloomily: “I can’t agree with you. Either go with her or send her first; otherwise . . . otherwise I won’t give you the money. Those are my final words. . .”
He staggered back, lurched backwards against the door, and went into the drawing-room, crimson, and overcome with confusion.
He stumbled back, leaned against the door, and entered the living room, blushing and feeling embarrassed.
“Friday . . . Friday,” thought Laevsky, going back into the drawing-room. “Friday. . . .”
“Friday . . . Friday,” Laevsky thought as he walked back into the drawing-room. “Friday. . . .”
He was handed a cup of chocolate; he burnt his lips and tongue with the scalding chocolate and thought: “Friday . . . Friday. . . .”
He was given a cup of hot chocolate; he burned his lips and tongue with the scorching drink and thought: “Friday . . . Friday. . . .”
For some reason he could not get the word “Friday” out of his head; he could think of nothing but Friday, and the only thing that was clear to him, not in his brain but somewhere in his heart, was that he would not get off on Saturday. Before him stood Nikodim Alexandritch, very neat, with his hair combed over his temples, saying:
For some reason, he couldn’t shake the word “Friday” from his mind; all he could think about was Friday, and the only thing that felt certain to him, not in his mind but somewhere in his heart, was that he wouldn’t be free on Saturday. In front of him stood Nikodim Alexandritch, looking very sharp, with his hair slicked back over his temples, saying:
“Please take something to eat. . . .”
"Please grab something to eat..."
Marya Konstantinovna showed the visitors Katya’s school report and said, drawling:
Marya Konstantinovna showed the visitors Katya's school report and said, stretching out the words:
“It’s very, very difficult to do well at school nowadays! So much is expected . . .”
“It’s really, really hard to do well in school these days! So much is expected . . .”
“Mamma!” groaned Katya, not knowing where to hide her confusion at the praises of the company.
“Mama!” groaned Katya, unsure of where to hide her confusion at the compliments from the group.
Laevsky, too, looked at the report and praised it. Scripture, Russian language, conduct, fives and fours, danced before his eyes, and all this, mixed with the haunting refrain of “Friday,” with the carefully combed locks of Nikodim Alexandritch and the red cheeks of Katya, produced on him a sensation of such immense overwhelming boredom that he almost shrieked with despair and asked himself: “Is it possible, is it possible I shall not get away?”
Laevsky also glanced at the report and complimented it. Scriptures, Russian language, behavior, fives and fours danced before his eyes, and all of this, mixed with the haunting refrain of “Friday,” the neatly combed hair of Nikodim Alexandritch, and Katya’s flushed cheeks, filled him with an immense sense of overwhelming boredom that he nearly yelled out in despair and wondered to himself: “Is it possible, is it possible I won't be able to escape?”
They put two card tables side by side and sat down to play post. Laevsky sat down too.
They set up two card tables next to each other and sat down to play post. Laevsky sat down as well.
“Friday . . . Friday . . .” he kept thinking, as he smiled and took a pencil out of his pocket. “Friday. . . .”
“Friday . . . Friday . . .” he kept thinking, as he smiled and pulled a pencil out of his pocket. “Friday. . . .”
He wanted to think over his position, and was afraid to think. It was terrible to him to realise that the doctor had detected him in the deception which he had so long and carefully concealed from himself. Every time he thought of his future he would not let his thoughts have full rein. He would get into the train and set off, and thereby the problem of his life would be solved, and he did not let his thoughts go farther. Like a far-away dim light in the fields, the thought sometimes flickered in his mind that in one of the side-streets of Petersburg, in the remote future, he would have to have recourse to a tiny lie in order to get rid of Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and pay his debts; he would tell a lie only once, and then a completely new life would begin. And that was right: at the price of a small lie he would win so much truth.
He wanted to think about his situation, but he was scared to do so. It was awful for him to realize that the doctor had seen through the deception he had carefully hidden from himself for so long. Whenever he thought about his future, he wouldn’t let his mind wander freely. He would get on the train and leave, and by doing that, the problem of his life would be solved, and he didn’t let his thoughts go any further. Sometimes, like a distant, faint light in the fields, the idea would flicker in his mind that in some side street in Petersburg, in the distant future, he would have to resort to a small lie to get rid of Nadyezhda Fyodorovna and pay his debts; he would tell a lie just once, and then a whole new life would start. And that seemed right: at the cost of a small lie, he would gain so much truth.
Now when by his blunt refusal the doctor had crudely hinted at his deception, he began to understand that he would need deception not only in the remote future, but to-day, and to-morrow, and in a month’s time, and perhaps up to the very end of his life. In fact, in order to get away he would have to lie to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, to his creditors, and to his superiors in the Service; then, in order to get money in Petersburg, he would have to lie to his mother, to tell her that he had already broken with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna; and his mother would not give him more than five hundred roubles, so he had already deceived the doctor, as he would not be in a position to pay him back the money within a short time. Afterwards, when Nadyezhda Fyodorovna came to Petersburg, he would have to resort to a regular series of deceptions, little and big, in order to get free of her; and again there would be tears, boredom, a disgusting existence, remorse, and so there would be no new life. Deception and nothing more. A whole mountain of lies rose before Laevsky’s imagination. To leap over it at one bound and not to do his lying piecemeal, he would have to bring himself to stern, uncompromising action; for instance, to getting up without saying a word, putting on his hat, and at once setting off without money and without explanation. But Laevsky felt that was impossible for him.
Now that the doctor had bluntly hinted at his deception with his refusal, Laevsky started to realize that he would need to keep deceiving not just in the distant future but today, tomorrow, and even in a month, possibly for the rest of his life. To escape, he would have to lie to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, his creditors, and his bosses in the Service. Then, to get money in Petersburg, he'd have to lie to his mother, telling her that he had already broken things off with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. She wouldn't give him more than five hundred roubles, so he had already deceived the doctor, knowing he wouldn’t be able to pay him back soon. Later, when Nadyezhda Fyodorovna arrived in Petersburg, he would have to engage in a series of lies, both big and small, to free himself from her; and once again, there would be tears, boredom, a miserable existence, and remorse, meaning there would be no new life—only deception. A whole mountain of lies loomed in Laevsky’s mind. To leap over it at once instead of lying bit by bit, he would need to muster up some stern, decisive action—like getting up without saying a word, putting on his hat, and leaving immediately without money or explanation. But Laevsky felt that was impossible for him.
“Friday, Friday . . .” he thought. “Friday. . . .”
“Friday, Friday . . .” he thought. “Friday. . . .”
They wrote little notes, folded them in two, and put them in Nikodim Alexandritch’s old top-hat. When there were a sufficient heap of notes, Kostya, who acted the part of postman, walked round the table and delivered them. The deacon, Katya, and Kostya, who received amusing notes and tried to write as funnily as they could, were highly delighted.
They wrote little notes, folded them in half, and placed them in Nikodim Alexandritch’s old top hat. When there was a big enough pile of notes, Kostya, who played the role of the postman, walked around the table and delivered them. The deacon, Katya, and Kostya, who received funny notes and tried to write as humorously as they could, were really happy.
“We must have a little talk,” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna read in a little note; she glanced at Marya Konstantinovna, who gave her an almond-oily smile and nodded.
“We need to have a quick chat,” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna read in a small note; she looked at Marya Konstantinovna, who returned her with an almond-oily smile and nodded.
“Talk of what?” thought Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. “If one can’t tell the whole, it’s no use talking.”
“Talk about what?” thought Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. “If you can't share the whole story, there's no point in talking.”
Before going out for the evening she had tied Laevsky’s cravat for him, and that simple action filled her soul with tenderness and sorrow. The anxiety in his face, his absent-minded looks, his pallor, and the incomprehensible change that had taken place in him of late, and the fact that she had a terrible revolting secret from him, and the fact that her hands trembled when she tied his cravat—all this seemed to tell her that they had not long left to be together. She looked at him as though he were an ikon, with terror and penitence, and thought: “Forgive, forgive.”
Before heading out for the evening, she tied Laevsky’s cravat for him, and that simple act filled her with both tenderness and sadness. The anxiety on his face, his distracted glances, his pale complexion, and the mysterious change that had occurred in him recently, along with the terrible secret she was keeping from him, and the way her hands trembled while she tied his cravat—all of this made her feel like their time together was limited. She looked at him as if he were an ikon, filled with fear and remorse, thinking: “Forgive, forgive.”
Opposite her was sitting Atchmianov, and he never took his black, love-sick eyes off her. She was stirred by passion; she was ashamed of herself, and afraid that even her misery and sorrow would not prevent her from yielding to impure desire to-morrow, if not to-day —and that, like a drunkard, she would not have the strength to stop herself.
Opposite her sat Atchmianov, his dark, lovesick eyes fixed on her. She was overwhelmed with passion; she felt ashamed of herself and feared that even her misery and sorrow wouldn't keep her from giving in to impure desire tomorrow, if not today—and that, like a drunk, she wouldn't have the strength to hold herself back.
She made up her mind to go away that she might not continue this life, shameful for herself, and humiliating for Laevsky. She would beseech him with tears to let her go; and if he opposed her, she would go away secretly. She would not tell him what had happened; let him keep a pure memory of her.
She decided to leave so she wouldn't continue this life, which was shameful for her and humiliating for Laevsky. She would beg him in tears to let her go; and if he tried to stop her, she would leave quietly. She wouldn't tell him what happened; she wanted him to remember her fondly.
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she read. It was from Atchmianov.
“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she read. It was from Atchmianov.
She would live in some far remote place, would work and send Laevsky, “anonymously,” money, embroidered shirts, and tobacco, and would return to him only in old age or if he were dangerously ill and needed a nurse. When in his old age he learned what were her reasons for leaving him and refusing to be his wife, he would appreciate her sacrifice and forgive.
She would live in a distant place, working and sending Laevsky, “anonymously,” money, embroidered shirts, and tobacco, and would only come back to him in his old age or if he got seriously ill and needed care. When he got old and discovered her reasons for leaving him and not wanting to be his wife, he would understand her sacrifice and forgive her.
“You’ve got a long nose.” That must be from the deacon or Kostya.
“You have a long nose.” That must be from the deacon or Kostya.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna imagined how, parting from Laevsky, she would embrace him warmly, would kiss his hand, and would swear to love him all her life, all her life, and then, living in obscurity among strangers, she would every day think that somewhere she had a friend, some one she loved—a pure, noble, lofty man who kept a pure memory of her.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna pictured how, when saying goodbye to Laevsky, she would hug him tightly, kiss his hand, and promise to love him for the rest of her life. Then, living in solitude among unfamiliar faces, she would think every day that somewhere out there she had a friend, someone she loved—a good, honorable, and elevated man who remembered her fondly.
“If you don’t give me an interview to-day, I shall take measures, I assure you on my word of honour. You can’t treat decent people like this; you must understand that.” That was from Kirilin.
“If you don’t give me an interview today, I will take action, I promise you on my word of honor. You can’t treat good people like this; you have to understand that.” That was from Kirilin.
XIII
Laevsky received two notes; he opened one and read: “Don’t go away, my darling.”
Laevsky received two notes; he opened one and read: “Don't leave, my love.”
“Who could have written that?” he thought. “Not Samoylenko, of course. And not the deacon, for he doesn’t know I want to go away. Von Koren, perhaps?”
“Who could have written that?” he thought. “Not Samoylenko, of course. And not the deacon, since he doesn’t know I want to leave. Maybe Von Koren?”
The zoologist bent over the table and drew a pyramid. Laevsky fancied that his eyes were smiling.
The zoologist leaned over the table and sketched a pyramid. Laevsky thought he looked like he was smiling.
“Most likely Samoylenko . . . has been gossiping,” thought Laevsky.
“Most likely Samoylenko . . . has been spreading rumors,” thought Laevsky.
In the other note, in the same disguised angular handwriting with long tails to the letters, was written: “Somebody won’t go away on Saturday.”
In the other note, written in the same disguised angular handwriting with long tails to the letters, it said: “Somebody won’t leave on Saturday.”
“A stupid gibe,” thought Laevsky. “Friday, Friday. . . .”
“A dumb insult,” thought Laevsky. “Friday, Friday. . . .”
Something rose in his throat. He touched his collar and coughed, but instead of a cough a laugh broke from his throat.
Something rose in his throat. He touched his collar and coughed, but instead of a cough, a laugh escaped from his throat.
“Ha-ha-ha!” he laughed. “Ha-ha-ha! What am I laughing at? Ha-ha-ha!”
“Ha-ha-ha!” he laughed. “Ha-ha-ha! What am I laughing at? Ha-ha-ha!”
He tried to restrain himself, covered his mouth with his hand, but the laugh choked his chest and throat, and his hand could not cover his mouth.
He tried to hold back, covering his mouth with his hand, but the laugh caught in his chest and throat, and his hand couldn’t keep his mouth shut.
“How stupid it is!” he thought, rolling with laughter. “Have I gone out of my mind?”
“How ridiculous this is!” he thought, bursting into laughter. “Have I lost my mind?”
The laugh grew shriller and shriller, and became something like the bark of a lap-dog. Laevsky tried to get up from the table, but his legs would not obey him and his right hand was strangely, without his volition, dancing on the table, convulsively clutching and crumpling up the bits of paper. He saw looks of wonder, Samoylenko’s grave, frightened face, and the eyes of the zoologist full of cold irony and disgust, and realised that he was in hysterics.
The laughter got sharper and sharper, almost like a small dog barking. Laevsky tried to stand up from the table, but his legs wouldn’t listen to him, and his right hand was moving on the table against his will, nervously grabbing and crumpling the scraps of paper. He saw expressions of astonishment, Samoylenko’s serious, scared face, and the zoologist's eyes filled with cold irony and disgust, and he realized he was having a hysterical episode.
“How hideous, how shameful!” he thought, feeling the warmth of tears on his face. “. . . Oh, oh, what a disgrace! It has never happened to me. . . .”
“How terrible, how embarrassing!” he thought, feeling the warmth of tears on his face. “. . . Oh, what a shame! This has never happened to me. . . .”
They took him under his arms, and supporting his head from behind, led him away; a glass gleamed before his eyes and knocked against his teeth, and the water was spilt on his breast; he was in a little room, with two beds in the middle, side by side, covered by two snow-white quilts. He dropped on one of the beds and sobbed.
They lifted him by his arms, supporting his head from behind, and guided him away; a glass shimmered in front of his eyes and hit his teeth, spilling water on his chest; he found himself in a small room, with two beds in the center, placed side by side, each covered with two pure white quilts. He collapsed onto one of the beds and began to sob.
“It’s nothing, it’s nothing,” Samoylenko kept saying; “it does happen . . . it does happen. . . .”
“It’s no big deal, it’s no big deal,” Samoylenko kept saying; “it happens . . . it happens. . . .”
Chill with horror, trembling all over and dreading something awful, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna stood by the bedside and kept asking:
Chilled with fear, shaking all over and fearing something terrible, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna stood by the bedside and kept asking:
“What is it? What is it? For God’s sake, tell me.”
“What is it? What is it? For heaven's sake, just tell me.”
“Can Kirilin have written him something?” she thought.
“Could Kirilin have written him something?” she thought.
“It’s nothing,” said Laevsky, laughing and crying; “go away, darling.”
“It’s nothing,” Laevsky said, laughing and crying; “just go away, sweetheart.”
His face expressed neither hatred nor repulsion: so he knew nothing; Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was somewhat reassured, and she went into the drawing-room.
His face showed no hatred or disgust: so he didn’t know anything; Nadyezhda Fyodorovna felt a little more at ease, and she went into the drawing room.
“Don’t agitate yourself, my dear!” said Marya Konstantinovna, sitting down beside her and taking her hand. “It will pass. Men are just as weak as we poor sinners. You are both going through a crisis. . . . One can so well understand it! Well, my dear, I am waiting for an answer. Let us have a little talk.”
“Don’t stress yourself out, dear!” said Marya Konstantinovna, sitting down next to her and taking her hand. “This will pass. Men are just as weak as we poor souls. You’re both going through a tough time. . . . It’s completely understandable! Now, my dear, I’m waiting for your response. Let’s have a little chat.”
“No, we are not going to talk,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, listening to Laevsky’s sobs. “I feel depressed. . . . You must allow me to go home.”
“No, we’re not going to talk,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, listening to Laevsky’s sobs. “I’m feeling down… You need to let me go home.”
“What do you mean, what do you mean, my dear?” cried Marya Konstantinovna in alarm. “Do you think I could let you go without supper? We will have something to eat, and then you may go with my blessing.”
“What do you mean, what do you mean, my dear?” Marya Konstantinovna exclaimed in alarm. “Do you think I could let you leave without dinner? We will have something to eat, and then you can go with my blessing.”
“I feel miserable . . .” whispered Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and she caught at the arm of the chair with both hands to avoid falling.
“I feel miserable . . .” whispered Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, gripping the arm of the chair with both hands to keep from falling.
“He’s got a touch of hysterics,” said Von Koren gaily, coming into the drawing-room, but seeing Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, he was taken aback and retreated.
“He's a bit overdramatic,” said Von Koren cheerfully, entering the drawing room, but upon seeing Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, he was taken aback and stepped back.
When the attack was over, Laevsky sat on the strange bed and thought.
When the attack was over, Laevsky sat on the odd bed and thought.
“Disgraceful! I’ve been howling like some wretched girl! I must have been absurd and disgusting. I will go away by the back stairs . . . . But that would seem as though I took my hysterics too seriously. I ought to take it as a joke. . . .”
“Shameful! I’ve been crying like some miserable girl! I must have seemed ridiculous and gross. I should sneak out the back stairs . . . . But that would make it look like I’m taking my freak-out too seriously. I should treat it like a joke. . . .”
He looked in the looking-glass, sat there for some time, and went back into the drawing-room.
He looked in the mirror, sat there for a while, and then went back into the living room.
“Here I am,” he said, smiling; he felt agonisingly ashamed, and he felt others were ashamed in his presence. “Fancy such a thing happening,” he said, sitting down. “I was sitting here, and all of a sudden, do you know, I felt a terrible piercing pain in my side . . . unendurable, my nerves could not stand it, and . . . and it led to this silly performance. This is the age of nerves; there is no help for it.”
“Here I am,” he said, smiling; he felt incredibly ashamed, and he sensed others were embarrassed to be around him. “Can you believe this happened?” he said, sitting down. “I was just sitting here, and suddenly, you know, I felt a horrible, stabbing pain in my side... it was unbearable, my nerves couldn’t handle it, and... and that’s how this ridiculous situation came about. We live in a time of anxiety; there’s nothing we can do about it.”
At supper he drank some wine, and, from time to time, with an abrupt sigh rubbed his side as though to suggest that he still felt the pain. And no one, except Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, believed him, and he saw that.
At dinner, he drank some wine and occasionally let out a sudden sigh while rubbing his side, as if to indicate that he was still in pain. And no one, except Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, believed him, and he noticed that.
After nine o’clock they went for a walk on the boulevard. Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, afraid that Kirilin would speak to her, did her best to keep all the time beside Marya Konstantinovna and the children. She felt weak with fear and misery, and felt she was going to be feverish; she was exhausted and her legs would hardly move, but she did not go home, because she felt sure that she would be followed by Kirilin or Atchmianov or both at once. Kirilin walked behind her with Nikodim Alexandritch, and kept humming in an undertone:
After nine o’clock, they went for a walk on the boulevard. Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, worried that Kirilin would talk to her, did her best to stay close to Marya Konstantinovna and the kids. She felt weak with fear and sadness and sensed she might get a fever; she was drained, and her legs could barely move, but she didn’t go home because she was sure Kirilin or Atchmianov, or maybe both, were following her. Kirilin walked behind her with Nikodim Alexandritch, continuously humming softly:
“I don’t al-low people to play with me! I don’t al-low it.”
“I don’t let people play with me! I don’t allow it.”
From the boulevard they went back to the pavilion and walked along the beach, and looked for a long time at the phosphorescence on the water. Von Koren began telling them why it looked phosphorescent.
From the boulevard, they returned to the pavilion and strolled along the beach, gazing for a long time at the glowing light on the water. Von Koren started explaining why it appeared phosphorescent.
XIV
“It’s time I went to my vint. . . . They will be waiting for me,” said Laevsky. “Good-bye, my friends.”
“It’s time I headed to my vint . . . They will be expecting me,” said Laevsky. “Goodbye, my friends.”
“I’ll come with you; wait a minute,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and she took his arm.
“I’ll come with you; just a minute,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and she took his arm.
They said good-bye to the company and went away. Kirilin took leave too, and saying that he was going the same way, went along beside them.
They said goodbye to the company and walked away. Kirilin said his goodbyes too, mentioning that he was heading the same way, and walked alongside them.
“What will be, will be,” thought Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. “So be it. . . .”
“What will be, will be,” thought Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. “So be it. . . .”
And it seemed to her that all the evil memories in her head had taken shape and were walking beside her in the darkness, breathing heavily, while she, like a fly that had fallen into the inkpot, was crawling painfully along the pavement and smirching Laevsky’s side and arm with blackness.
And it felt to her like all the bad memories in her mind had come to life and were walking next to her in the dark, breathing heavily, while she, like a fly that had fallen into an inkpot, was struggling painfully along the pavement and smudging Laevsky’s side and arm with darkness.
If Kirilin should do anything horrid, she thought, not he but she would be to blame for it. There was a time when no man would have talked to her as Kirilin had done, and she had torn up her security like a thread and destroyed it irrevocably—who was to blame for it? Intoxicated by her passions she had smiled at a complete stranger, probably just because he was tall and a fine figure. After two meetings she was weary of him, had thrown him over, and did not that, she thought now, give him the right to treat her as he chose?
If Kirilin were to do something terrible, she thought, it wouldn’t be him but her who's at fault. There was a time when no man would have spoken to her the way Kirilin did, and she had ripped apart her sense of security like a piece of thread and completely ruined it—who could she blame for that? Overcome by her feelings, she had smiled at a total stranger, probably just because he was tall and had a great physique. After two meetings, she was tired of him, had ended things, and didn’t that, she thought now, give him the right to treat her however he wanted?
“Here I’ll say good-bye to you, darling,” said Laevsky. “Ilya Mihalitch will see you home.”
“Here I’ll say goodbye to you, darling,” said Laevsky. “Ilya Mihalitch will take you home.”
He nodded to Kirilin, and, quickly crossing the boulevard, walked along the street to Sheshkovsky’s, where there were lights in the windows, and then they heard the gate bang as he went in.
He nodded to Kirilin, and, quickly crossing the boulevard, walked down the street to Sheshkovsky’s, where the lights were on in the windows, and then they heard the gate slam as he went inside.
“Allow me to have an explanation with you,” said Kirilin. “I’m not a boy, not some Atchkasov or Latchkasov, Zatchkasov. . . . I demand serious attention.”
“Let me have a word with you,” said Kirilin. “I’m not a kid, not some Atchkasov or Latchkasov, Zatchkasov. . . . I deserve to be taken seriously.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s heart began beating violently. She made no reply.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s heart started pounding wildly. She didn’t respond.
“The abrupt change in your behaviour to me I put down at first to coquetry,” Kirilin went on; “now I see that you don’t know how to behave with gentlemanly people. You simply wanted to play with me, as you are playing with that wretched Armenian boy; but I’m a gentleman and I insist on being treated like a gentleman. And so I am at your service. . . .”
“The sudden shift in how you act towards me I initially attributed to flirting,” Kirilin continued; “now I realize that you just don’t know how to interact with gentlemen. You merely wanted to toy with me, just like you’re toying with that poor Armenian boy; but I’m a gentleman, and I expect to be treated as one. So, I am at your service. . . .”
“I’m miserable,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna beginning to cry, and to hide her tears she turned away.
“I’m so unhappy,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, starting to cry, and to hide her tears, she turned away.
“I’m miserable too,” said Kirilin, “but what of that?”
“I’m miserable too,” Kirilin said, “but so what?”
Kirilin was silent for a space, then he said distinctly and emphatically:
Kirilin was quiet for a moment, then he said clearly and with emphasis:
“I repeat, madam, that if you do not give me an interview this evening, I’ll make a scandal this very evening.”
“I’m saying it again, ma’am, if you don’t meet with me tonight, I’ll cause a scene this very evening.”
“Let me off this evening,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and she did not recognise her own voice, it was so weak and pitiful.
“Let me off this evening,” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and she didn’t recognize her own voice; it sounded so weak and pitiful.
“I must give you a lesson. . . . Excuse me for the roughness of my tone, but it’s necessary to give you a lesson. Yes, I regret to say I must give you a lesson. I insist on two interviews—to-day and to-morrow. After to-morrow you are perfectly free and can go wherever you like with any one you choose. To-day and to-morrow.”
“I need to teach you a lesson. . . . Sorry if I sound harsh, but it’s important to give you this lesson. Yes, I regret to say I have to teach you. I’m insisting on two meetings—today and tomorrow. After tomorrow, you’re completely free and can go wherever you want with whoever you choose. Today and tomorrow.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna went up to her gate and stopped.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna walked up to her gate and paused.
“Let me go,” she murmured, trembling all over and seeing nothing before her in the darkness but his white tunic. “You’re right: I’m a horrible woman. . . . I’m to blame, but let me go . . . I beg you.” She touched his cold hand and shuddered. “I beseech you. . . .”
“Let me go,” she whispered, shaking all over and seeing nothing in the darkness except his white tunic. “You’re right: I’m a terrible person... I’m at fault, but please let me go... I’m begging you.” She touched his cold hand and shivered. “I’m asking you...”
“Alas!” sighed Kirilin, “alas! it’s not part of my plan to let you go; I only mean to give you a lesson and make you realise. And what’s more, madam, I’ve too little faith in women.”
“Unfortunately!” sighed Kirilin, “unfortunately! It’s not my intention to let you go; I only want to teach you a lesson and help you understand. And besides, madam, I have very little faith in women.”
“I’m miserable. . . .”
“I’m so miserable...”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna listened to the even splash of the sea, looked at the sky studded with stars, and longed to make haste and end it all, and get away from the cursed sensation of life, with its sea, stars, men, fever.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna listened to the steady sound of the sea, gazed at the star-filled sky, and felt a strong urge to rush and put an end to everything, wanting to escape the damned feeling of life, with its sea, stars, people, and fever.
“Only not in my home,” she said coldly. “Take me somewhere else.”
“Just not here in my house,” she said icily. “Take me somewhere else.”
“Come to Muridov’s. That’s better.”
"Go to Muridov’s. That’s better."
“Where’s that?”
"Where is that?"
“Near the old wall.”
“By the old wall.”
She walked quickly along the street and then turned into the side-street that led towards the mountains. It was dark. There were pale streaks of light here and there on the pavement, from the lighted windows, and it seemed to her that, like a fly, she kept falling into the ink and crawling out into the light again. At one point he stumbled, almost fell down and burst out laughing.
She hurried down the street and then turned onto the side street that went toward the mountains. It was dark. There were faint patches of light scattered on the pavement from the lit windows, and it felt to her like she kept getting trapped in darkness like a fly, only to crawl back into the light again. At one point, she tripped, nearly fell, and burst out laughing.
“He’s drunk,” thought Nadyezhda Fyodorovna. “Never mind. . . . Never mind. . . . So be it.”
“He's drunk,” Nadyezhda Fyodorovna thought. “Whatever. . . . Whatever. . . . It is what it is.”
Atchmianov, too, soon took leave of the party and followed Nadyezhda Fyodorovna to ask her to go for a row. He went to her house and looked over the fence: the windows were wide open, there were no lights.
Atchmianov also soon left the gathering and went after Nadyezhda Fyodorovna to invite her to go for a row. He arrived at her house and peered over the fence: the windows were wide open, and there were no lights on.
“Nadyezhda Fyodorovna!” he called.
"Nadya!" he called.
A moment passed, he called again.
A moment later, he called again.
“Who’s there?” he heard Olga’s voice.
“Who’s there?” he heard Olga say.
“Is Nadyezhda Fyodorovna at home?”
“Is Nadyezhda Fyodorovna home?”
“No, she has not come in yet.”
“No, she hasn’t come in yet.”
“Strange . . . very strange,” thought Atchmianov, feeling very uneasy. “She went home. . . .”
“Strange . . . really strange,” thought Atchmianov, feeling very uneasy. “She went home. . . .”
He walked along the boulevard, then along the street, and glanced in at the windows of Sheshkovsky’s. Laevsky was sitting at the table without his coat on, looking attentively at his cards.
He strolled down the boulevard, then along the street, and looked into the windows of Sheshkovsky’s. Laevsky was sitting at the table without his coat, focused intently on his cards.
“Strange, strange,” muttered Atchmianov, and remembering Laevsky’s hysterics, he felt ashamed. “If she is not at home, where is she?”
“That's so weird,” muttered Atchmianov, and thinking about Laevsky’s outburst, he felt embarrassed. “If she’s not home, where could she be?”
He went to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s lodgings again, and looked at the dark windows.
He went back to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s place and looked at the dark windows.
“It’s a cheat, a cheat . . .” he thought, remembering that, meeting him at midday at Marya Konstantinovna’s, she had promised to go in a boat with him that evening.
“It’s a scam, a scam . . .” he thought, remembering that when he met her at midday at Marya Konstantinovna’s, she had promised to go out on a boat with him that evening.
The windows of the house where Kirilin lived were dark, and there was a policeman sitting asleep on a little bench at the gate. Everything was clear to Atchmianov when he looked at the windows and the policeman. He made up his mind to go home, and set off in that direction, but somehow found himself near Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s lodgings again. He sat down on the bench near the gate and took off his hat, feeling that his head was burning with jealousy and resentment.
The windows of the house where Kirilin lived were dark, and there was a policeman asleep on a small bench at the gate. Everything was clear to Atchmianov as he looked at the windows and the policeman. He decided to go home and started in that direction, but somehow ended up back near Nadyezhda Fyodorovna’s place again. He sat down on the bench by the gate and took off his hat, feeling his head burning with jealousy and resentment.
The clock in the town church only struck twice in the twenty-four hours—at midday and midnight. Soon after it struck midnight he heard hurried footsteps.
The clock in the town church only chimed twice in a day—at noon and midnight. Shortly after it chimed midnight, he heard quick footsteps.
“To-morrow evening, then, again at Muridov’s,” Atchmianov heard, and he recognised Kirilin’s voice. “At eight o’clock; good-bye!”
“Tomorrow evening, then, again at Muridov’s,” Atchmianov heard, and he recognized Kirilin’s voice. “At eight o’clock; goodbye!”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna made her appearance near the garden. Without noticing that Atchmianov was sitting on the bench, she passed beside him like a shadow, opened the gate, and leaving it open, went into the house. In her own room she lighted the candle and quickly undressed, but instead of getting into bed, she sank on her knees before a chair, flung her arms round it, and rested her head on it.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna appeared near the garden. Not noticing that Atchmianov was sitting on the bench, she passed by him like a shadow, opened the gate, and leaving it open, went into the house. In her room, she lit a candle and quickly got undressed, but instead of getting into bed, she sank to her knees in front of a chair, threw her arms around it, and rested her head on it.
It was past two when Laevsky came home.
It was after two when Laevsky got home.
XV
Having made up his mind to lie, not all at once but piecemeal, Laevsky went soon after one o’clock next day to Samoylenko to ask for the money that he might be sure to get off on Saturday. After his hysterical attack, which had added an acute feeling of shame to his depressed state of mind, it was unthinkable to remain in the town. If Samoylenko should insist on his conditions, he thought it would be possible to agree to them and take the money, and next day, just as he was starting, to say that Nadyezhda Fyodorovna refused to go. He would be able to persuade her that evening that the whole arrangement would be for her benefit. If Samoylenko, who was obviously under the influence of Von Koren, should refuse the money altogether or make fresh conditions, then he, Laevsky, would go off that very evening in a cargo vessel, or even in a sailing-boat, to Novy Athon or Novorossiisk, would send from there an humiliating telegram, and would stay there till his mother sent him the money for the journey.
Having decided to lie, not all at once but gradually, Laevsky went to see Samoylenko just after one o'clock the next day to ask for the money he needed to ensure he could leave on Saturday. After his emotional breakdown, which left him feeling intensely ashamed in addition to his already low spirits, staying in town was out of the question. If Samoylenko insisted on his terms, Laevsky thought he could agree to them and take the money, then, just as he was about to leave the next day, he could say that Nadyezhda Fyodorovna refused to go. He would be able to convince her that the whole plan would actually benefit her. If Samoylenko, clearly influenced by Von Koren, refused to give him the money altogether or set new conditions, Laevsky would leave that very evening on a cargo ship or even a sailing boat to Novy Athon or Novorossiisk, would send a humiliating telegram from there, and would stay until his mother sent him money for the trip.
When he went into Samoylenko’s, he found Von Koren in the drawing-room. The zoologist had just arrived for dinner, and, as usual, was turning over the album and scrutinising the gentlemen in top-hats and the ladies in caps.
When he entered Samoylenko's place, he found Von Koren in the living room. The zoologist had just arrived for dinner and, as usual, was flipping through the album and examining the gentlemen in top hats and the ladies in caps.
“How very unlucky!” thought Laevsky, seeing him. “He may be in the way. Good-morning.”
“How unlucky!” thought Laevsky, seeing him. “He might be a problem. Good morning.”
“Good-morning,” answered Von Koren, without looking at him.
“Good morning,” replied Von Koren, not looking at him.
“Is Alexandr Daviditch at home?”
“Is Alexandr Daviditch home?”
“Yes, in the kitchen.”
“Yeah, in the kitchen.”
Laevsky went into the kitchen, but seeing from the door that Samoylenko was busy over the salad, he went back into the drawing-room and sat down. He always had a feeling of awkwardness in the zoologist’s presence, and now he was afraid there would be talk about his attack of hysterics. There was more than a minute of silence. Von Koren suddenly raised his eyes to Laevsky and asked:
Laevsky walked into the kitchen, but when he saw from the doorway that Samoylenko was focused on the salad, he returned to the drawing room and sat down. He always felt uncomfortable around the zoologist, and now he worried there would be discussions about his recent hysterical episode. There was over a minute of silence. Von Koren suddenly looked up at Laevsky and asked:
“How do you feel after yesterday?”
“How do you feel after yesterday?”
“Very well indeed,” said Laevsky, flushing. “It really was nothing much. . . .”
“Sounds good,” said Laevsky, blushing. “It honestly wasn't a big deal. . . .”
“Until yesterday I thought it was only ladies who had hysterics, and so at first I thought you had St. Vitus’s dance.”
“Up until yesterday, I believed only women had hysterics, so at first, I thought you had St. Vitus's dance.”
Laevsky smiled ingratiatingly, and thought:
Laevsky smiled sweetly, and thought:
“How indelicate on his part! He knows quite well how unpleasant it is for me. . . .”
“How inconsiderate of him! He knows very well how uncomfortable it is for me. . . .”
“Yes, it was a ridiculous performance,” he said, still smiling. “I’ve been laughing over it the whole morning. What’s so curious in an attack of hysterics is that you know it is absurd, and are laughing at it in your heart, and at the same time you sob. In our neurotic age we are the slaves of our nerves; they are our masters and do as they like with us. Civilisation has done us a bad turn in that way. . . .”
“Yes, it was a ridiculous performance,” he said, still smiling. “I’ve been laughing about it all morning. What’s interesting about an attack of hysteria is that you realize it’s absurd, and you’re secretly laughing at it, yet at the same time, you’re sobbing. In our neurotic age, we’re slaves to our nerves; they control us and do whatever they want with us. Civilization has really messed us up in that regard…”
As Laevsky talked, he felt it disagreeable that Von Koren listened to him gravely, and looked at him steadily and attentively as though studying him; and he was vexed with himself that in spite of his dislike of Von Koren, he could not banish the ingratiating smile from his face.
As Laevsky talked, he found it uncomfortable that Von Koren was listening to him seriously, looking at him intently as if he were studying him; and he was annoyed with himself that despite his dislike for Von Koren, he couldn't wipe the friendly smile off his face.
“I must admit, though,” he added, “that there were immediate causes for the attack, and quite sufficient ones too. My health has been terribly shaky of late. To which one must add boredom, constantly being hard up . . . the absence of people and general interests . . . . My position is worse than a governor’s.”
“I have to admit, though,” he added, “that there were immediate reasons for the attack, and pretty valid ones too. My health has been really unstable lately. Plus, there’s the boredom, always being short on cash... the lack of people and general interests... My situation is worse than a governor’s.”
“Yes, your position is a hopeless one,” answered Von Koren.
“Yes, your situation is a hopeless one,” replied Von Koren.
These calm, cold words, implying something between a jeer and an uninvited prediction, offended Laevsky. He recalled the zoologist’s eyes the evening before, full of mockery and disgust. He was silent for a space and then asked, no longer smiling:
These calm, cold words, hinting at something between a sneer and an unwanted prediction, offended Laevsky. He remembered the zoologist’s eyes from the night before, filled with mockery and disgust. He stayed quiet for a moment and then asked, no longer smiling:
“How do you know anything of my position?”
“How do you know anything about my situation?”
“You were only just speaking of it yourself. Besides, your friends take such a warm interest in you, that I am hearing about you all day long.”
“You were just talking about it yourself. Besides, your friends care about you so much that I hear about you all day long.”
“What friends? Samoylenko, I suppose?”
"What friends? Samoylenko, I guess?"
“Yes, he too.”
"Yes, him too."
“I would ask Alexandr Daviditch and my friends in general not to trouble so much about me.”
“I would ask Alexandr Daviditch and my friends not to worry so much about me.”
“Here is Samoylenko; you had better ask him not to trouble so much about you.”
“Here’s Samoylenko; you should probably ask him not to worry so much about you.”
“I don’t understand your tone,” Laevsky muttered, suddenly feeling as though he had only just realised that the zoologist hated and despised him, and was jeering at him, and was his bitterest and most inveterate enemy.
“I don’t get your tone,” Laevsky muttered, suddenly feeling like he had just realized that the zoologist hated and despised him, was mocking him, and was his fiercest and most longstanding enemy.
“Keep that tone for some one else,” he said softly, unable to speak aloud for the hatred with which his chest and throat were choking, as they had been the night before with laughter.
“Save that tone for someone else,” he said quietly, unable to speak up because of the anger that was choking him in his chest and throat, just like it had the night before with laughter.
Samoylenko came in in his shirt-sleeves, crimson and perspiring from the stifling kitchen.
Samoylenko came in with his shirt sleeves rolled up, red-faced and sweaty from the stuffy kitchen.
“Ah, you here?” he said. “Good-morning, my dear boy. Have you had dinner? Don’t stand on ceremony. Have you had dinner?”
“Hey, is that you?” he said. “Good morning, my dear boy. Have you had dinner? Don't be formal. Have you had dinner?”
“Alexandr Daviditch,” said Laevsky, standing up, “though I did appeal to you to help me in a private matter, it did not follow that I released you from the obligation of discretion and respect for other people’s private affairs.”
“Alexandr Daviditch,” Laevsky said, standing up, “even though I asked for your help with a personal issue, it doesn't mean I’ve freed you from the duty to be discreet and respect other people’s private matters.”
“What’s this?” asked Samoylenko, in astonishment.
“What’s this?” asked Samoylenko, shocked.
“If you have no money,” Laevsky went on, raising his voice and shifting from one foot to the other in his excitement, “don’t give it; refuse it. But why spread abroad in every back street that my position is hopeless, and all the rest of it? I can’t endure such benevolence and friend’s assistance where there’s a shilling-worth of talk for a ha’p’orth of help! You can boast of your benevolence as much as you please, but no one has given you the right to gossip about my private affairs!”
“If you don’t have any money,” Laevsky continued, raising his voice and shifting from one foot to the other in his excitement, “then don’t give it; just refuse it. But why go around every back alley saying my situation is hopeless and all that? I can’t stand this so-called kindness and friendly help when there’s a lot of talk but hardly any real support! You can show off your generosity as much as you want, but nobody has given you the right to talk about my personal matters!”
“What private affairs?” asked Samoylenko, puzzled and beginning to be angry. “If you’ve come here to be abusive, you had better clear out. You can come again afterwards!”
“What private matters?” asked Samoylenko, confused and starting to get angry. “If you’re here to be rude, you should leave. You can come back later!”
He remembered the rule that when one is angry with one’s neighbour, one must begin to count a hundred, and one will grow calm again; and he began rapidly counting.
He recalled the rule that when you’re mad at your neighbor, you should start counting to a hundred to calm down; so he started counting quickly.
“I beg you not to trouble yourself about me,” Laevsky went on. “Don’t pay any attention to me, and whose business is it what I do and how I live? Yes, I want to go away. Yes, I get into debt, I drink, I am living with another man’s wife, I’m hysterical, I’m ordinary. I am not so profound as some people, but whose business is that? Respect other people’s privacy.”
“I really wish you wouldn't worry about me,” Laevsky continued. “Don’t pay any attention to me. What I do and how I live is nobody’s business. Yes, I want to leave. Yes, I get into debt, I drink, I’m living with another man’s wife, I’m emotional, I’m just like anyone else. I'm not as deep as some people, but why does that matter? Respect other people’s privacy.”
“Excuse me, brother,” said Samoylenko, who had counted up to thirty-five, “but . . .”
“Excuse me, brother,” said Samoylenko, who had counted up to thirty-five, “but . . .”
“Respect other people’s individuality!” interrupted Laevsky. “This continual gossip about other people’s affairs, this sighing and groaning and everlasting prying, this eavesdropping, this friendly sympathy . . . damn it all! They lend me money and make conditions as though I were a schoolboy! I am treated as the devil knows what! I don’t want anything,” shouted Laevsky, staggering with excitement and afraid that it might end in another attack of hysterics. “I shan’t get away on Saturday, then,” flashed through his mind. “I want nothing. All I ask of you is to spare me your protecting care. I’m not a boy, and I’m not mad, and I beg you to leave off looking after me.”
“Respect other people’s individuality!” interrupted Laevsky. “This constant gossip about other people’s business, this sighing and moaning and endless snooping, this eavesdropping, this so-called friendly sympathy... damn it all! They lend me money and make demands as if I were a schoolboy! I’m treated like you wouldn’t believe! I don’t want anything,” shouted Laevsky, reeling with excitement and worried it might lead to another hysterical episode. “I won’t be able to leave on Saturday, then,” flashed through his mind. “I want nothing. All I ask of you is to stop being so protective. I’m not a kid, and I’m not crazy, and I’m asking you to stop looking after me.”
The deacon came in, and seeing Laevsky pale and gesticulating, addressing his strange speech to the portrait of Prince Vorontsov, stood still by the door as though petrified.
The deacon entered and, noticing Laevsky looking pale and waving his hands, directing his odd words at the portrait of Prince Vorontsov, paused by the door as if frozen.
“This continual prying into my soul,” Laevsky went on, “is insulting to my human dignity, and I beg these volunteer detectives to give up their spying! Enough!”
“This constant invasion of my privacy,” Laevsky continued, “is disrespectful to my human dignity, and I urge these self-appointed detectives to stop their nosiness! That's enough!”
“What’s that . . . what did you say?” said Samoylenko, who had counted up to a hundred. He turned crimson and went up to Laevsky.
“What’s that... what did you say?” Samoylenko said, having counted to a hundred. He blushed deep red and approached Laevsky.
“It’s enough,” said Laevsky, breathing hard and snatching up his cap.
“It’s enough,” Laevsky said, breathing heavily and grabbing his cap.
“I’m a Russian doctor, a nobleman by birth, and a civil councillor,” said Samoylenko emphatically. “I’ve never been a spy, and I allow no one to insult me!” he shouted in a breaking voice, emphasising the last word. “Hold your tongue!”
“I’m a Russian doctor, a nobleman by birth, and a civil councillor,” Samoylenko said firmly. “I’ve never been a spy, and I won’t let anyone insult me!” he shouted, his voice cracking as he emphasized the last word. “Shut up!”
The deacon, who had never seen the doctor so majestic, so swelling with dignity, so crimson and so ferocious, shut his mouth, ran out into the entry and there exploded with laughter.
The deacon, who had never seen the doctor so impressive, so full of dignity, so red, and so fierce, shut his mouth, ran out into the hallway, and burst out laughing.
As though through a fog, Laevsky saw Von Koren get up and, putting his hands in his trouser-pockets, stand still in an attitude of expectancy, as though waiting to see what would happen. This calm attitude struck Laevsky as insolent and insulting to the last degree.
As if through a haze, Laevsky saw Von Koren get up, put his hands in his pockets, and stand there in a waiting stance, as if he was curious about what would unfold. This calm demeanor struck Laevsky as extremely rude and offensive.
“Kindly take back your words,” shouted Samoylenko.
“Please take back your words,” shouted Samoylenko.
Laevsky, who did not by now remember what his words were, answered:
Laevsky, who couldn't remember what he had said anymore, replied:
“Leave me alone! I ask for nothing. All I ask is that you and German upstarts of Jewish origin should let me alone! Or I shall take steps to make you! I will fight you!”
“Leave me alone! I want nothing from you. All I ask is that you and those German newcomers of Jewish descent just leave me be! Or I will take action to ensure you do! I will stand up to you!”
“Now we understand,” said Von Koren, coming from behind the table. “Mr. Laevsky wants to amuse himself with a duel before he goes away. I can give him that pleasure. Mr. Laevsky, I accept your challenge.”
“Now we get it,” said Von Koren, stepping out from behind the table. “Mr. Laevsky wants to have some fun with a duel before he leaves. I can give him that thrill. Mr. Laevsky, I accept your challenge.”
“A challenge,” said Laevsky, in a low voice, going up to the zoologist and looking with hatred at his swarthy brow and curly hair. “A challenge? By all means! I hate you! I hate you!”
“A challenge,” Laevsky said quietly as he approached the zoologist, staring with anger at his dark skin and curly hair. “A challenge? Absolutely! I hate you! I hate you!”
“Delighted. To-morrow morning early near Kerbalay’s. I leave all details to your taste. And now, clear out!”
“Delighted. Tomorrow morning early near Kerbalay’s. I’ll leave all the details to your preference. And now, get out!”
“I hate you,” Laevsky said softly, breathing hard. “I have hated you a long while! A duel! Yes!”
“I hate you,” Laevsky said quietly, breathing heavily. “I’ve hated you for a long time! A duel! Yes!”
“Get rid of him, Alexandr Daviditch, or else I’m going,” said Von Koren. “He’ll bite me.”
“Get rid of him, Alexandr Daviditch, or I’m out of here,” said Von Koren. “He’ll bite me.”
Von Koren’s cool tone calmed the doctor; he seemed suddenly to come to himself, to recover his reason; he put both arms round Laevsky’s waist, and, leading him away from the zoologist, muttered in a friendly voice that shook with emotion:
Von Koren’s calm tone reassured the doctor; he seemed to suddenly regain his composure, to gather his thoughts; he wrapped both arms around Laevsky’s waist and, guiding him away from the zoologist, mumbled in a friendly voice that trembled with emotion:
“My friends . . . dear, good . . . you’ve lost your tempers and that’s enough . . . and that’s enough, my friends.”
"My friends... dear, good... you've lost your tempers, and that's it... and that's it, my friends."
Hearing his soft, friendly voice, Laevsky felt that something unheard of, monstrous, had just happened to him, as though he had been nearly run over by a train; he almost burst into tears, waved his hand, and ran out of the room.
Hearing his soft, friendly voice, Laevsky felt that something unbelievable, monstrous, had just happened to him, as if he had almost been hit by a train; he nearly cried, waved his hand, and dashed out of the room.
“To feel that one is hated, to expose oneself before the man who hates one, in the most pitiful, contemptible, helpless state. My God, how hard it is!” he thought a little while afterwards as he sat in the pavilion, feeling as though his body were scarred by the hatred of which he had just been the object.
“To feel that someone hates you, to lay yourself bare in front of the person who despises you, in the most vulnerable, pitiful, helpless way. My God, how tough it is!” he thought a little while later as he sat in the pavilion, feeling as if his body were marked by the hatred he had just experienced.
“How coarse it is, my God!”
“How rough it is, my God!”
Cold water with brandy in it revived him. He vividly pictured Von Koren’s calm, haughty face; his eyes the day before, his shirt like a rug, his voice, his white hand; and heavy, passionate, hungry hatred rankled in his breast and clamoured for satisfaction. In his thoughts he felled Von Koren to the ground, and trampled him underfoot. He remembered to the minutest detail all that had happened, and wondered how he could have smiled ingratiatingly to that insignificant man, and how he could care for the opinion of wretched petty people whom nobody knew, living in a miserable little town which was not, it seemed, even on the map, and of which not one decent person in Petersburg had heard. If this wretched little town suddenly fell into ruins or caught fire, the telegram with the news would be read in Russia with no more interest than an advertisement of the sale of second-hand furniture. Whether he killed Von Koren next day or left him alive, it would be just the same, equally useless and uninteresting. Better to shoot him in the leg or hand, wound him, then laugh at him, and let him, like an insect with a broken leg lost in the grass—let him be lost with his obscure sufferings in the crowd of insignificant people like himself.
Cold water with brandy in it brought him back to life. He could clearly see Von Koren’s calm, arrogant face; his eyes from the day before, his shirt like a rug, his voice, his white hand; and a deep, passionate, hungry hatred boiled inside him, demanding satisfaction. In his mind, he knocked Von Koren to the ground and stomped on him. He recalled every little detail of what had happened and wondered how he could have smiled so eagerly at that trivial man, and how he could care about the opinions of pathetic, small-minded people nobody knew, living in a miserable little town that seemed to not even be on the map, a town no decent person in Petersburg had ever heard of. If this wretched little town suddenly crumbled or caught fire, the news would be received in Russia with no more interest than a flyer for a garage sale. Whether he killed Von Koren the next day or let him live, it would be just the same—equally pointless and dull. It would be better to shoot him in the leg or hand, wound him, then laugh at him, and let him, like an insect with a broken leg lost in the grass—let him drown in his obscure sufferings among the crowd of insignificant people just like himself.
Laevsky went to Sheshkovsky, told him all about it, and asked him to be his second; then they both went to the superintendent of the postal telegraph department, and asked him, too, to be a second, and stayed to dinner with him. At dinner there was a great deal of joking and laughing. Laevsky made jests at his own expense, saying he hardly knew how to fire off a pistol, calling himself a royal archer and William Tell.
Laevsky went to Sheshkovsky, filled him in on everything, and asked him to be his second; then they both went to the head of the postal telegraph department and asked him to be a second as well, staying for dinner with him. At dinner, there was a lot of joking and laughter. Laevsky made fun of himself, saying he barely knew how to shoot a pistol, referring to himself as a royal archer and William Tell.
“We must give this gentleman a lesson . . .” he said.
“We need to teach this guy a lesson . . .” he said.
After dinner they sat down to cards. Laevsky played, drank wine, and thought that duelling was stupid and senseless, as it did not decide the question but only complicated it, but that it was sometimes impossible to get on without it. In the given case, for instance, one could not, of course, bring an action against Von Koren. And this duel was so far good in that it made it impossible for Laevsky to remain in the town afterwards. He got a little drunk and interested in the game, and felt at ease.
After dinner, they sat down to play cards. Laevsky played, drank wine, and thought that dueling was pointless and ridiculous because it didn’t really resolve anything, only made things more complicated. Yet sometimes, it felt like there was no way around it. In this situation, for example, he couldn’t possibly take legal action against Von Koren. At least this duel had the benefit of ensuring that Laevsky couldn’t stay in town afterward. He got a little tipsy and got into the game, feeling more at ease.
But when the sun had set and it grew dark, he was possessed by a feeling of uneasiness. It was not fear at the thought of death, because while he was dining and playing cards, he had for some reason a confident belief that the duel would end in nothing; it was dread at the thought of something unknown which was to happen next morning for the first time in his life, and dread of the coming night. . . . He knew that the night would be long and sleepless, and that he would have to think not only of Von Koren and his hatred, but also of the mountain of lies which he had to get through, and which he had not strength or ability to dispense with. It was as though he had been taken suddenly ill; all at once he lost all interest in the cards and in people, grew restless, and began asking them to let him go home. He was eager to get into bed, to lie without moving, and to prepare his thoughts for the night. Sheshkovsky and the postal superintendent saw him home and went on to Von Koren’s to arrange about the duel.
But when the sun set and it got dark, he was overwhelmed by a feeling of unease. It wasn't fear of death; while he was having dinner and playing cards, he somehow felt confident that the duel would lead to nothing. It was more about the dread of something unknown that would happen the next morning for the first time in his life, and the anxiety about the long night ahead. He knew that the night would be long and sleepless, and that he would have to think not just about Von Koren and his hatred, but also about the pile of lies he had to navigate, which he didn’t have the strength or ability to deal with. It felt like he had suddenly fallen ill; he lost interest in the cards and in the people around him, became restless, and started asking to go home. He was eager to get into bed, to lie still, and to gather his thoughts for the night. Sheshkovsky and the postal superintendent walked him home and then went to Von Koren’s to sort out the details of the duel.
Near his lodgings Laevsky met Atchmianov. The young man was breathless and excited.
Near his place, Laevsky ran into Atchmianov. The young man was out of breath and excited.
“I am looking for you, Ivan Andreitch,” he said. “I beg you to come quickly. . . .”
“I’m looking for you, Ivan Andreitch,” he said. “I’m begging you to come quickly...”
“Where?”
"Where at?"
“Some one wants to see you, some one you don’t know, about very important business; he earnestly begs you to come for a minute. He wants to speak to you of something. . . . For him it’s a question of life and death. . . .” In his excitement Atchmianov spoke in a strong Armenian accent.
“Someone wants to see you, someone you don’t know, about really important business; he urgently asks you to come for a minute. He wants to talk to you about something. . . . For him, it’s a matter of life and death. . . .” In his excitement, Atchmianov spoke with a strong Armenian accent.
“Who is it?” asked Laevsky.
"Who is it?" Laevsky asked.
“He asked me not to tell you his name.”
“He asked me not to tell you his name.”
“Tell him I’m busy; to-morrow, if he likes. . . .”
“Tell him I’m busy; tomorrow, if he wants. . . .”
“How can you!” Atchmianov was aghast. “He wants to tell you something very important for you . . . very important! If you don’t come, something dreadful will happen.”
“How can you!” Atchmianov exclaimed in shock. “He wants to share something really important with you . . . very important! If you don’t go, something terrible will happen.”
“Strange . . .” muttered Laevsky, unable to understand why Atchmianov was so excited and what mysteries there could be in this dull, useless little town.
“Strange . . .” muttered Laevsky, not getting why Atchmianov was so worked up and what secrets there could possibly be in this boring, pointless little town.
“Strange,” he repeated in hesitation. “Come along, though; I don’t care.”
“Strange,” he said, hesitating. “But come on; I don’t mind.”
Atchmianov walked rapidly on ahead and Laevsky followed him. They walked down a street, then turned into an alley.
Atchmianov walked quickly ahead, and Laevsky followed him. They walked down a street and then turned into an alley.
“What a bore this is!” said Laevsky.
“What a drag this is!” said Laevsky.
“One minute, one minute . . . it’s near.”
“One minute, one minute... it's close.”
Near the old rampart they went down a narrow alley between two empty enclosures, then they came into a sort of large yard and went towards a small house.
Near the old wall, they walked down a narrow alley between two empty lots, then they entered a large yard and approached a small house.
“That’s Muridov’s, isn’t it?” asked Laevsky.
"That’s Muridov's, right?" Laevsky asked.
“Yes.”
"Yeah."
“But why we’ve come by the back yards I don’t understand. We might have come by the street; it’s nearer. . . .”
“But I don’t understand why we went through the backyards. We could have taken the street; it’s closer. . . .”
“Never mind, never mind. . . .”
“Never mind, never mind. . . .”
It struck Laevsky as strange, too, that Atchmianov led him to a back entrance, and motioned to him as though bidding him go quietly and hold his tongue.
It seemed odd to Laevsky that Atchmianov brought him to a back entrance and signaled for him to be quiet and not to say anything.
“This way, this way . . .” said Atchmianov, cautiously opening the door and going into the passage on tiptoe. “Quietly, quietly, I beg you . . . they may hear.”
“This way, this way . . .” said Atchmianov, cautiously opening the door and entering the hallway on tiptoe. “Quietly, quietly, please . . . they might hear us.”
He listened, drew a deep breath and said in a whisper:
He listened, took a deep breath, and said softly:
“Open that door, and go in . . . don’t be afraid.”
“Open that door and go in... don’t be scared.”
Laevsky, puzzled, opened the door and went into a room with a low ceiling and curtained windows.
Laevsky, confused, opened the door and walked into a room with a low ceiling and covered windows.
There was a candle on the table.
There was a candle on the table.
“What do you want?” asked some one in the next room. “Is it you, Muridov?”
“What do you want?” someone asked from the next room. “Is that you, Muridov?”
Laevsky turned into that room and saw Kirilin, and beside him Nadyezhda Fyodorovna.
Laevsky walked into that room and saw Kirilin, and next to him was Nadyezhda Fyodorovna.
He didn’t hear what was said to him; he staggered back, and did not know how he found himself in the street. His hatred for Von Koren and his uneasiness—all had vanished from his soul. As he went home he waved his right arm awkwardly and looked carefully at the ground under his feet, trying to step where it was smooth. At home in his study he walked backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands, and awkwardly shrugging his shoulders and neck, as though his jacket and shirt were too tight; then he lighted a candle and sat down to the table. . . .
He didn’t hear what was said to him; he staggered back and wasn’t sure how he ended up on the street. His hatred for Von Koren and his uneasiness—all of it had disappeared from his mind. As he walked home, he waved his right arm awkwardly and scanned the ground under his feet, trying to step on the smooth parts. Once he was home in his study, he paced back and forth, rubbing his hands and awkwardly shrugging his shoulders and neck, as if his jacket and shirt were too tight; then he lit a candle and sat down at the table. . . .
XVI
“The ‘humane studies’ of which you speak will only satisfy human thought when, as they advance, they meet the exact sciences and progress side by side with them. Whether they will meet under a new microscope, or in the monologues of a new Hamlet, or in a new religion, I do not know, but I expect the earth will be covered with a crust of ice before it comes to pass. Of all humane learning the most durable and living is, of course, the teaching of Christ; but look how differently even that is interpreted! Some teach that we must love all our neighbours but make an exception of soldiers, criminals, and lunatics. They allow the first to be killed in war, the second to be isolated or executed, and the third they forbid to marry. Other interpreters teach that we must love all our neighbours without exception, with no distinction of plus or minus. According to their teaching, if a consumptive or a murderer or an epileptic asks your daughter in marriage, you must let him have her. If crêtins go to war against the physically and mentally healthy, don’t defend yourselves. This advocacy of love for love’s sake, like art for art’s sake, if it could have power, would bring mankind in the long run to complete extinction, and so would become the vastest crime that has ever been committed upon earth. There are very many interpretations, and since there are many of them, serious thought is not satisfied by any one of them, and hastens to add its own individual interpretation to the mass. For that reason you should never put a question on a philosophical or so-called Christian basis; by so doing you only remove the question further from solution.”
“The ‘humane studies’ you’re talking about will only satisfy human thought when they progress alongside the exact sciences. Whether that will happen under a new microscope, in the soliloquies of a new Hamlet, or through a new religion, I can’t say, but I expect the earth will be frozen over before it happens. Among all areas of humane learning, the most lasting and vibrant is undoubtedly the teaching of Christ; but just look at how differently even that is interpreted! Some say we must love all our neighbors except for soldiers, criminals, and the mentally ill. They permit the first to be killed in war, the second to be locked up or executed, and the third they forbid from marrying. Other interpreters argue that we must love all our neighbors without exception, with no distinctions. According to their teaching, if a person with tuberculosis or a murderer or an epileptic asks your daughter to marry him, you have to let him marry her. If people with disabilities go to war against the physically and mentally healthy, don’t defend yourselves. This notion of love for love’s sake, just like art for art’s sake, if it were to gain power, would ultimately lead humanity to complete extinction, making it the greatest crime ever committed on earth. There are numerous interpretations, and since there are so many, serious thought isn’t satisfied with any single one, prompting it to add its own interpretation to the mix. For this reason, you should never frame a question on a philosophical or so-called Christian basis; by doing so, you only push the question further away from a solution.”
The deacon listened to the zoologist attentively, thought a little, and asked:
The deacon listened to the zoologist carefully, thought for a moment, and asked:
“Have the philosophers invented the moral law which is innate in every man, or did God create it together with the body?”
“Did philosophers create the moral law that exists in every person, or did God make it at the same time as the body?”
“I don’t know. But that law is so universal among all peoples and all ages that I fancy we ought to recognise it as organically connected with man. It is not invented, but exists and will exist. I don’t tell you that one day it will be seen under the microscope, but its organic connection is shown, indeed, by evidence: serious affections of the brain and all so-called mental diseases, to the best of my belief, show themselves first of all in the perversion of the moral law.”
“I don’t know. But that law is so universal across all cultures and throughout history that I think we should acknowledge it as inherently linked to humanity. It’s not something we created; it exists and will continue to exist. I’m not saying that one day it will be examined under a microscope, but its inherent connection is demonstrated by clear evidence: serious brain disorders and all so-called mental illnesses, as far as I believe, first manifest in the distortion of the moral law.”
“Good. So then, just as our stomach bids us eat, our moral sense bids us love our neighbours. Is that it? But our natural man through self-love opposes the voice of conscience and reason, and this gives rise to many brain-racking questions. To whom ought we to turn for the solution of those questions if you forbid us to put them on the philosophic basis?”
“Okay. So, just like our stomach tells us to eat, our sense of right and wrong tells us to love our neighbors. Is that right? But our human nature, driven by self-love, contradicts the voice of our conscience and logic, leading to a lot of complicated questions. Who should we turn to for answers to those questions if you don’t want us to approach them from a philosophical standpoint?”
“Turn to what little exact science we have. Trust to evidence and the logic of facts. It is true it is but little, but, on the other hand, it is less fluid and shifting than philosophy. The moral law, let us suppose, demands that you love your neighbour. Well? Love ought to show itself in the removal of everything which in one way or another is injurious to men and threatens them with danger in the present or in the future. Our knowledge and the evidence tells us that the morally and physically abnormal are a menace to humanity. If so you must struggle against the abnormal; if you are not able to raise them to the normal standard you must have strength and ability to render them harmless—that is, to destroy them.”
“Let's focus on the little bit of exact science we do have. Rely on evidence and the logic of facts. It may be limited, but it’s more solid and stable than philosophy. The moral law, for instance, suggests that we should love our neighbor. So what? Love should manifest itself in eliminating anything that harms people and poses a threat now or in the future. Our knowledge and evidence tell us that what is morally and physically abnormal is a danger to humanity. If that’s the case, you need to fight against the abnormal; if you can’t bring them up to a normal standard, you have to be strong and capable enough to make them harmless—that is, to eliminate them.”
“So love consists in the strong overcoming the weak.”
“So love is about the strong overpowering the weak.”
“Undoubtedly.”
"Definitely."
“But you know the strong crucified our Lord Jesus Christ,” said the deacon hotly.
“But you know the powerful crucified our Lord Jesus Christ,” the deacon said passionately.
“The fact is that those who crucified Him were not the strong but the weak. Human culture weakens and strives to nullify the struggle for existence and natural selection; hence the rapid advancement of the weak and their predominance over the strong. Imagine that you succeeded in instilling into bees humanitarian ideas in their crude and elementary form. What would come of it? The drones who ought to be killed would remain alive, would devour the honey, would corrupt and stifle the bees, resulting in the predominance of the weak over the strong and the degeneration of the latter. The same process is taking place now with humanity; the weak are oppressing the strong. Among savages untouched by civilisation the strongest, cleverest, and most moral takes the lead; he is the chief and the master. But we civilised men have crucified Christ, and we go on crucifying Him, so there is something lacking in us. . . . And that something one ought to raise up in ourselves, or there will be no end to these errors.”
“The truth is that those who crucified Him weren’t the strong but the weak. Human culture weakens and aims to eliminate the struggle for existence and natural selection; this is why the weak advance quickly and dominate the strong. Imagine if you could somehow implant humanitarian ideas into bees in their basic form. What would happen? The drones that should be eliminated would stay alive, consume the honey, and corrupt the bees, leading to the dominance of the weak over the strong and the decline of the latter. The same thing is happening with humanity today; the weak are overpowering the strong. Among savages untouched by civilization, the strongest, smartest, and most moral rises to the top; he becomes the chief and the leader. But we civilized people have crucified Christ, and we continue to do so, indicating that something is missing in us. . . . And that missing piece needs to be nurtured within ourselves, or these mistakes will never end.”
“But what criterion have you to distinguish the strong from the weak?”
“But what standard do you use to tell the strong apart from the weak?”
“Knowledge and evidence. The tuberculous and the scrofulous are recognised by their diseases, and the insane and the immoral by their actions.”
“Knowledge and evidence. People with tuberculosis and scrofula are identified by their illnesses, while the insane and immoral are recognized by their behavior.”
“But mistakes may be made!”
"But mistakes could happen!"
“Yes, but it’s no use to be afraid of getting your feet wet when you are threatened with the deluge!”
“Yes, but there's no point in being afraid of getting your feet wet when you're facing a flood!”
“That’s philosophy,” laughed the deacon.
"That's philosophy," chuckled the deacon.
“Not a bit of it. You are so corrupted by your seminary philosophy that you want to see nothing but fog in everything. The abstract studies with which your youthful head is stuffed are called abstract just because they abstract your minds from what is obvious. Look the devil straight in the eye, and if he’s the devil, tell him he’s the devil, and don’t go calling to Kant or Hegel for explanations.”
“Not at all. You’ve been so influenced by your seminary philosophy that you can only see confusion in everything. The theoretical studies that fill your young mind are called abstract precisely because they distract you from what’s clear. Look the devil straight in the eye, and if he is the devil, tell him he is the devil. Don’t go asking Kant or Hegel for explanations.”
The zoologist paused and went on:
The zoologist stopped for a moment and continued:
“Twice two’s four, and a stone’s a stone. Here to-morrow we have a duel. You and I will say it’s stupid and absurd, that the duel is out of date, that there is no real difference between the aristocratic duel and the drunken brawl in the pot-house, and yet we shall not stop, we shall go there and fight. So there is some force stronger than our reasoning. We shout that war is plunder, robbery, atrocity, fratricide; we cannot look upon blood without fainting; but the French or the Germans have only to insult us for us to feel at once an exaltation of spirit; in the most genuine way we shout ‘Hurrah!’ and rush to attack the foe. You will invoke the blessing of God on our weapons, and our valour will arouse universal and general enthusiasm. Again it follows that there is a force, if not higher, at any rate stronger, than us and our philosophy. We can no more stop it than that cloud which is moving upwards over the sea. Don’t be hypocritical, don’t make a long nose at it on the sly; and don’t say, ‘Ah, old-fashioned, stupid! Ah, it’s inconsistent with Scripture!’ but look it straight in the face, recognise its rational lawfulness, and when, for instance, it wants to destroy a rotten, scrofulous, corrupt race, don’t hinder it with your pilules and misunderstood quotations from the Gospel. Leskov has a story of a conscientious Danila who found a leper outside the town, and fed and warmed him in the name of love and of Christ. If that Danila had really loved humanity, he would have dragged the leper as far as possible from the town, and would have flung him in a pit, and would have gone to save the healthy. Christ, I hope, taught us a rational, intelligent, practical love.”
“Two times two is four, and a stone is just a stone. Tomorrow we have a duel. You and I will say it’s stupid and ridiculous, that dueling is outdated, that there’s no real difference between an aristocratic duel and a drunken brawl at the bar, and yet we won’t stop; we’ll go there and fight. So there’s something stronger than our reasoning. We shout that war is stealing, destruction, cruelty, and brother-on-brother killing; we can’t look at blood without feeling faint; but if the French or the Germans insult us, we’ll immediately feel a rush of excitement; genuinely, we shout ‘Hurrah!’ and charge at the enemy. You’ll ask for God’s blessing on our weapons, and our bravery will spark widespread enthusiasm. Again, this shows there’s a force, if not higher, at least stronger than us and our philosophy. We can’t stop it any more than we can stop that cloud moving upwards over the sea. Don’t be hypocritical; don’t pretend otherwise; and don’t say, ‘Oh, how old-fashioned and dumb! Oh, it contradicts Scripture!’ Instead, face it directly, recognize its rationality, and when it wants to eliminate a rotten, diseased, corrupt group, don’t try to stop it with your pills and misinterpreted quotes from the Gospel. Leskov has a story about a conscientious Danila who found a leper outside the town and cared for him out of love for Christ. If that Danila had truly loved humanity, he would have dragged the leper as far away from town as possible, tossed him into a pit, and gone to help the healthy people. I hope Christ taught us a rational, intelligent, practical love.”
“What a fellow you are!” laughed the deacon. “You don’t believe in Christ. Why do you mention His name so often?”
“What a guy you are!” laughed the deacon. “You don’t believe in Christ. Why do you bring Him up so much?”
“Yes, I do believe in Him. Only, of course, in my own way, not in yours. Oh, deacon, deacon!” laughed the zoologist; he put his arm round the deacon’s waist, and said gaily: “Well? Are you coming with us to the duel to-morrow?”
“Yes, I do believe in Him. Just, of course, in my own way, not in yours. Oh, deacon, deacon!” laughed the zoologist; he wrapped his arm around the deacon’s waist and said cheerfully: “So? Are you joining us for the duel tomorrow?”
“My orders don’t allow it, or else I should come.”
"My orders won't let me, otherwise I would come."
“What do you mean by ‘orders’?”
“What do you mean by ‘orders’?”
“I have been consecrated. I am in a state of grace.”
“I have been consecrated. I am in a state of grace.”
“Oh, deacon, deacon,” repeated Von Koren, laughing, “I love talking to you.”
“Oh, deacon, deacon,” Von Koren said with a laugh, “I love chatting with you.”
“You say you have faith,” said the deacon. “What sort of faith is it? Why, I have an uncle, a priest, and he believes so that when in time of drought he goes out into the fields to pray for rain, he takes his umbrella and leather overcoat for fear of getting wet through on his way home. That’s faith! When he speaks of Christ, his face is full of radiance, and all the peasants, men and women, weep floods of tears. He would stop that cloud and put all those forces you talk about to flight. Yes . . . faith moves mountains.”
“You say you have faith,” said the deacon. “What kind of faith is it? Well, I have an uncle who's a priest, and he believes so much that when there's a drought and he goes out to pray for rain, he takes his umbrella and leather coat just in case he gets wet on the way home. That’s faith! When he talks about Christ, his face shines with joy, and all the peasants, both men and women, cry tears of sorrow. He could stop that cloud and send all those forces you keep mentioning away. Yes . . . faith moves mountains.”
The deacon laughed and slapped the zoologist on the shoulder.
The deacon laughed and gave the zoologist a friendly pat on the shoulder.
“Yes . . .” he went on; “here you are teaching all the time, fathoming the depths of the ocean, dividing the weak and the strong, writing books and challenging to duels—and everything remains as it is; but, behold! some feeble old man will mutter just one word with a holy spirit, or a new Mahomet, with a sword, will gallop from Arabia, and everything will be topsy-turvy, and in Europe not one stone will be left standing upon another.”
“Yes . . .” he continued; “here you are teaching all the time, exploring the depths of the ocean, sorting the weak from the strong, writing books and challenging people to duels—and everything stays the same; but look! some frail old man will whisper just one word with a divine spark, or a new Muhammad, with a sword, will ride in from Arabia, and everything will be turned upside down, and in Europe not a single stone will be left standing on another.”
“Well, deacon, that’s on the knees of the gods.”
“Well, deacon, that's up to the gods.”
“Faith without works is dead, but works without faith are worse still—mere waste of time and nothing more.”
“Faith without actions is dead, but actions without faith are even worse—just a waste of time and nothing else.”
The doctor came into sight on the sea-front. He saw the deacon and the zoologist, and went up to them.
The doctor appeared on the beach. He spotted the deacon and the zoologist, and walked over to them.
“I believe everything is ready,” he said, breathing hard. “Govorovsky and Boyko will be the seconds. They will start at five o’clock in the morning. How it has clouded over,” he said, looking at the sky. “One can see nothing; there will be rain directly.”
“I think everything’s set,” he said, breathing heavily. “Govorovsky and Boyko will be the seconds. They’ll start at five in the morning. Look how overcast it’s gotten,” he said, glancing at the sky. “You can’t see a thing; it’s going to rain soon.”
“I hope you are coming with us?” said the zoologist.
“I hope you’re coming with us?” said the zoologist.
“No, God preserve me; I’m worried enough as it is. Ustimovitch is going instead of me. I’ve spoken to him already.”
“No, God save me; I’m worried enough as it is. Ustimovitch is going instead of me. I’ve already talked to him.”
Far over the sea was a flash of lightning, followed by a hollow roll of thunder.
Far across the sea, a flash of lightning illuminated the sky, quickly followed by a distant rumble of thunder.
“How stifling it is before a storm!” said Von Koren. “I bet you’ve been to Laevsky already and have been weeping on his bosom.”
“How suffocating it is before a storm!” said Von Koren. “I bet you’ve already been to Laevsky and have been crying on his shoulder.”
“Why should I go to him?” answered the doctor in confusion. “What next?”
“Why should I go to him?” the doctor replied, feeling confused. “What now?”
Before sunset he had walked several times along the boulevard and the street in the hope of meeting Laevsky. He was ashamed of his hastiness and the sudden outburst of friendliness which had followed it. He wanted to apologise to Laevsky in a joking tone, to give him a good talking to, to soothe him and to tell him that the duel was a survival of mediæval barbarism, but that Providence itself had brought them to the duel as a means of reconciliation; that the next day, both being splendid and highly intelligent people, they would, after exchanging shots, appreciate each other’s noble qualities and would become friends. But he could not come across Laevsky.
Before sunset, he had walked up and down the boulevard and the street several times, hoping to run into Laevsky. He felt embarrassed about his impulsiveness and the sudden expression of friendliness that had followed. He wanted to apologize to Laevsky in a light-hearted way, to give him a piece of his mind, to calm him down, and to explain that the duel was just a remnant of medieval barbarism, but that fate itself had brought them to this duel as a way to make amends; that the next day, as two remarkable and intelligent people, they would, after exchanging shots, recognize each other’s admirable qualities and become friends. But he couldn’t find Laevsky.
“What should I go and see him for?” repeated Samoylenko. “I did not insult him; he insulted me. Tell me, please, why he attacked me. What harm had I done him? I go into the drawing-room, and, all of a sudden, without the least provocation: ‘Spy!’ There’s a nice thing! Tell me, how did it begin? What did you say to him?”
“What should I go and see him for?” Samoylenko repeated. “I didn’t insult him; he insulted me. Can you tell me why he came at me? What did I ever do to him? I walk into the living room, and suddenly, without any reason: ‘Spy!’ How crazy is that? Can you tell me how it all started? What did you say to him?”
“I told him his position was hopeless. And I was right. It is only honest men or scoundrels who can find an escape from any position, but one who wants to be at the same time an honest man and a scoundrel —it is a hopeless position. But it’s eleven o’clock, gentlemen, and we have to be up early to-morrow.”
“I told him his situation was impossible. And I was right. Only honest people or shady characters can find a way out of any situation, but someone who wants to be both honest and shady — that’s a losing battle. But it’s eleven o’clock, everyone, and we need to get up early tomorrow.”
There was a sudden gust of wind; it blew up the dust on the sea-front, whirled it round in eddies, with a howl that drowned the roar of the sea.
There was a sudden gust of wind; it whipped up the dust on the beach, swirling it in eddies with a howl that overwhelmed the roar of the ocean.
“A squall,” said the deacon. “We must go in, our eyes are getting full of dust.”
“A storm,” said the deacon. “We need to go inside; our eyes are filling with dust.”
As they went, Samoylenko sighed and, holding his hat, said:
As they walked, Samoylenko sighed and, holding his hat, said:
“I suppose I shan’t sleep to-night.”
“I guess I won’t get any sleep tonight.”
“Don’t you agitate yourself,” laughed the zoologist. “You can set your mind at rest; the duel will end in nothing. Laevsky will magnanimously fire into the air—he can do nothing else; and I daresay I shall not fire at all. To be arrested and lose my time on Laevsky’s account—the game’s not worth the candle. By the way, what is the punishment for duelling?”
“Don’t stress yourself out,” laughed the zoologist. “You can relax; the duel won’t lead to anything. Laevsky will generously shoot into the air—there’s nothing else he can do; and I bet I won’t shoot at all. Getting arrested and wasting my time for Laevsky's sake—the effort isn’t worth it. By the way, what’s the penalty for dueling?”
“Arrest, and in the case of the death of your opponent a maximum of three years’ imprisonment in the fortress.”
“Arrest, and if your opponent dies, a maximum of three years in prison.”
“The fortress of St. Peter and St. Paul?”
“The fortress of St. Peter and St. Paul?”
“No, in a military fortress, I believe.”
“No, I think it’s in a military fortress.”
“Though this fine gentleman ought to have a lesson!”
“Though this nice guy needs a lesson!”
Behind them on the sea, there was a flash of lightning, which for an instant lighted up the roofs of the houses and the mountains. The friends parted near the boulevard. When the doctor disappeared in the darkness and his steps had died away, Von Koren shouted to him:
Behind them on the sea, there was a flash of lightning that briefly illuminated the rooftops of the houses and the mountains. The friends separated near the boulevard. When the doctor vanished into the darkness and his footsteps faded away, Von Koren called out to him:
“I only hope the weather won’t interfere with us to-morrow!”
“I just hope the weather won’t mess with our plans tomorrow!”
“Very likely it will! Please God it may!”
“It's very likely it will! Hopefully, it will!”
“Good-night!”
“Good night!”
“What about the night? What do you say?”
“What about tonight? What do you think?”
In the roar of the wind and the sea and the crashes of thunder, it was difficult to hear.
In the loud howl of the wind, the crashing waves, and the rumble of thunder, it was hard to hear.
“It’s nothing,” shouted the zoologist, and hurried home.
“It’s nothing,” shouted the zoologist, and rushed home.
XVII
“Upon my mind, weighed down with woe, Crowd thoughts, a heavy multitude: In silence memory unfolds Her long, long scroll before my eyes. Loathing and shuddering I curse And bitterly lament in vain, And bitter though the tears I weep I do not wash those lines away.” PUSHKIN.
“On my mind, burdened with sorrow, Thoughts crowd in, a heavy swarm: In silence, memories reveal Their long, long list before my eyes. With disgust and shivering, I curse And lament bitterly in vain, And despite the bitter tears I cry, I cannot erase those lines away.” PUSHKIN.
Whether they killed him next morning, or mocked at him—that is, left him his life—he was ruined, anyway. Whether this disgraced woman killed herself in her shame and despair, or dragged on her pitiful existence, she was ruined anyway.
Whether they killed him the next morning or mocked him—that is, let him live—he was ruined, regardless. Whether this disgraced woman took her own life out of shame and despair or continued her miserable existence, she was ruined anyway.
So thought Laevsky as he sat at the table late in the evening, still rubbing his hands. The windows suddenly blew open with a bang; a violent gust of wind burst into the room, and the papers fluttered from the table. Laevsky closed the windows and bent down to pick up the papers. He was aware of something new in his body, a sort of awkwardness he had not felt before, and his movements were strange to him. He moved timidly, jerking with his elbows and shrugging his shoulders; and when he sat down to the table again, he again began rubbing his hands. His body had lost its suppleness.
So Laevsky thought as he sat at the table late in the evening, still rubbing his hands. The windows suddenly flew open with a bang; a strong gust of wind rushed into the room, and the papers flew off the table. Laevsky shut the windows and bent down to pick up the papers. He felt something new in his body, a kind of awkwardness he hadn’t experienced before, and his movements felt strange to him. He moved hesitantly, twitching with his elbows and shrugging his shoulders; and when he sat down at the table again, he started rubbing his hands once more. His body had lost its flexibility.
On the eve of death one ought to write to one’s nearest relation. Laevsky thought of this. He took a pen and wrote with a tremulous hand:
On the eve of death, one should write to their closest relative. Laevsky thought about this. He picked up a pen and wrote with a shaky hand:
“Mother!”
"Mom!"
He wanted to write to beg his mother, for the sake of the merciful God in whom she believed, that she would give shelter and bring a little warmth and kindness into the life of the unhappy woman who, by his doing, had been disgraced and was in solitude, poverty, and weakness, that she would forgive and forget everything, everything, everything, and by her sacrifice atone to some extent for her son’s terrible sin. But he remembered how his mother, a stout, heavily-built old woman in a lace cap, used to go out into the garden in the morning, followed by her companion with the lap-dog; how she used to shout in a peremptory way to the gardener and the servants, and how proud and haughty her face was—he remembered all this and scratched out the word he had written.
He wanted to write to ask his mother, for the sake of the merciful God she believed in, to provide shelter and bring a little warmth and kindness into the life of the unhappy woman who, because of him, had been shamed and was now living in solitude, poverty, and weakness. He hoped she would forgive and forget everything, everything, everything, and that her sacrifice would help atone a bit for her son’s terrible sin. But he recalled how his mother, a stout, heavily-built older woman in a lace cap, used to go out into the garden in the morning, followed by her companion with the lap-dog; how she would shout commandingly at the gardener and the servants, and how proud and haughty her face was—he remembered all this and crossed out the word he had written.
There was a vivid flash of lightning at all three windows, and it was followed by a prolonged, deafening roll of thunder, beginning with a hollow rumble and ending with a crash so violent that all the window-panes rattled. Laevsky got up, went to the window, and pressed his forehead against the pane. There was a fierce, magnificent storm. On the horizon lightning-flashes were flung in white streams from the storm-clouds into the sea, lighting up the high, dark waves over the far-away expanse. And to right and to left, and, no doubt, over the house too, the lightning flashed.
There was a bright flash of lightning at all three windows, followed by a long, deafening rumble of thunder that started with a deep growl and ended with a crash so loud that all the window panes shook. Laevsky got up, walked to the window, and pressed his forehead against the glass. There was a fierce, beautiful storm. On the horizon, lightning bolts shot out in white streams from the storm clouds into the sea, illuminating the tall, dark waves across the distant expanse. To the right and left, and probably over the house too, the lightning flashed.
“The storm!” whispered Laevsky; he had a longing to pray to some one or to something, if only to the lightning or the storm-clouds. “Dear storm!”
“The storm!” whispered Laevsky; he felt an urge to pray to someone or something, even if it was just to the lightning or the storm clouds. “Dear storm!”
He remembered how as a boy he used to run out into the garden without a hat on when there was a storm, and how two fair-haired girls with blue eyes used to run after him, and how they got wet through with the rain; they laughed with delight, but when there was a loud peal of thunder, the girls used to nestle up to the boy confidingly, while he crossed himself and made haste to repeat: “Holy, holy, holy. . . .” Oh, where had they vanished to! In what sea were they drowned, those dawning days of pure, fair life? He had no fear of the storm, no love of nature now; he had no God. All the confiding girls he had ever known had by now been ruined by him and those like him. All his life he had not planted one tree in his own garden, nor grown one blade of grass; and living among the living, he had not saved one fly; he had done nothing but destroy and ruin, and lie, lie. . . .
He remembered how, as a kid, he used to run out into the garden without a hat when there was a storm, and how two blonde girls with blue eyes would chase after him, getting soaked in the rain; they laughed with joy, but when there was a loud clap of thunder, the girls would snuggle up to him trustingly while he hurried to cross himself and murmured, “Holy, holy, holy. . . .” Oh, where had they gone! In what ocean were they drowned, those early days of innocent, bright life? He felt no fear of the storm, no love for nature now; he had no God. All the trusting girls he had ever known had by now been ruined by him and others like him. Throughout his life, he hadn’t planted a single tree in his own garden, nor grown even a blade of grass; and living among the living, he hadn’t saved a single fly; he had done nothing but destroy and ruin, and lie, lie. . . .
“What in my past was not vice?” he asked himself, trying to clutch at some bright memory as a man falling down a precipice clutches at the bushes.
“What in my past was not a vice?” he asked himself, trying to grasp a bright memory like a man falling off a cliff clinging to the bushes.
School? The university? But that was a sham. He had neglected his work and forgotten what he had learnt. The service of his country? That, too, was a sham, for he did nothing in the Service, took a salary for doing nothing, and it was an abominable swindling of the State for which one was not punished.
School? University? But that was a joke. He had slacked off and forgotten everything he had learned. Serving his country? That was a joke too, because he did nothing in the Service, collected a paycheck for doing nothing, and it was a disgusting scam against the State that went unpunished.
He had no craving for truth, and had not sought it; spellbound by vice and lying, his conscience had slept or been silent. Like a stranger, like an alien from another planet, he had taken no part in the common life of men, had been indifferent to their sufferings, their ideas, their religion, their sciences, their strivings, and their struggles. He had not said one good word, not written one line that was not useless and vulgar; he had not done his fellows one ha’p’orth of service, but had eaten their bread, drunk their wine, seduced their wives, lived on their thoughts, and to justify his contemptible, parasitic life in their eyes and in his own, he had always tried to assume an air of being higher and better than they. Lies, lies, lies. . . .
He had no desire for the truth and hadn’t looked for it; captivated by vice and deception, his conscience had either slept or stayed silent. Like a stranger, like someone from another world, he hadn’t engaged in the everyday life of people, showing indifference to their suffering, their beliefs, their sciences, their ambitions, and their struggles. He hadn’t said a single good word, hadn’t written a line that wasn’t worthless and crude; he hadn’t given his fellow humans even a tiny bit of help but had consumed their resources, drunk their wine, seduced their wives, lived off their ideas, and to justify his pathetic, parasitic existence in their eyes and his own, he always tried to act like he was superior and better than they were. Lies, lies, lies...
He vividly remembered what he had seen that evening at Muridov’s, and he was in an insufferable anguish of loathing and misery. Kirilin and Atchmianov were loathsome, but they were only continuing what he had begun; they were his accomplices and his disciples. This young weak woman had trusted him more than a brother, and he had deprived her of her husband, of her friends and of her country, and had brought her here—to the heat, to fever, and to boredom; and from day to day she was bound to reflect, like a mirror, his idleness, his viciousness and falsity—and that was all she had had to fill her weak, listless, pitiable life. Then he had grown sick of her, had begun to hate her, but had not had the pluck to abandon her, and he had tried to entangle her more and more closely in a web of lies. . . . These men had done the rest.
He clearly remembered what he had seen that evening at Muridov's, and he was in unbearable pain, filled with disgust and sadness. Kirilin and Atchmianov were repulsive, but they were only following through on what he had started; they were his partners and his followers. This young, weak woman had trusted him more than a brother, and he had taken away her husband, her friends, and her home, bringing her here—to the heat, to illness, and to boredom; and day by day, she had to reflect, like a mirror, his laziness, his wickedness, and his deceit—and that was all she had to fill her fragile, aimless, pitiful life. Then he had grown tired of her, had started to hate her, but he hadn't had the courage to leave her, and he had tried to trap her more deeply in a web of lies... These men had done the rest.
Laevsky sat at the table, then got up and went to the window; at one minute he put out the candle and then he lighted it again. He cursed himself aloud, wept and wailed, and asked forgiveness; several times he ran to the table in despair, and wrote:
Laevsky sat at the table, then got up and went to the window; at one minute he blew out the candle and then he lit it again. He cursed himself out loud, cried and lamented, and begged for forgiveness; several times he ran to the table in despair and wrote:
“Mother!”
“Mom!”
Except his mother, he had no relations or near friends; but how could his mother help him? And where was she? He had an impulse to run to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, to fall at her feet, to kiss her hands and feet, to beg her forgiveness; but she was his victim, and he was afraid of her as though she were dead.
Except for his mother, he had no family or close friends; but how could his mother help him? And where was she? He felt the urge to rush to Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, to fall at her feet, to kiss her hands and feet, to ask for her forgiveness; but she was the one he had wronged, and he was afraid of her as if she were dead.
“My life is ruined,” he repeated, rubbing his hands. “Why am I still alive, my God! . . .”
“My life is ruined,” he repeated, rubbing his hands. “Why am I still alive, my God! . . .”
He had cast out of heaven his dim star; it had fallen, and its track was lost in the darkness of night. It would never return to the sky again, because life was given only once and never came a second time. If he could have turned back the days and years of the past, he would have replaced the falsity with truth, the idleness with work, the boredom with happiness; he would have given back purity to those whom he had robbed of it. He would have found God and goodness, but that was as impossible as to put back the fallen star into the sky, and because it was impossible he was in despair.
He had thrown his dim star out of heaven; it had fallen, and its path was lost in the darkness of night. It would never return to the sky again because life is given only once and never comes again. If he could have turned back the days and years, he would have replaced the lies with the truth, the laziness with hard work, and the boredom with happiness; he would have restored purity to those he had taken it from. He would have discovered God and goodness, but that was as impossible as putting the fallen star back in the sky, and because it was impossible, he was in despair.
When the storm was over, he sat by the open window and thought calmly of what was before him. Von Koren would most likely kill him. The man’s clear, cold theory of life justified the destruction of the rotten and the useless; if it changed at the crucial moment, it would be the hatred and the repugnance that Laevsky inspired in him that would save him. If he missed his aim or, in mockery of his hated opponent, only wounded him, or fired in the air, what could he do then? Where could he go?
When the storm passed, he sat by the open window and calmly thought about what lay ahead. Von Koren would probably kill him. The man’s clear, cold view on life justified getting rid of the rotten and useless; if something changed at the critical moment, it would be the hatred and disgust that Laevsky stirred in him that would save him. If he missed his shot or, out of spite for his hated rival, only wounded him or shot into the air, what could he do then? Where could he escape to?
“Go to Petersburg?” Laevsky asked himself. But that would mean beginning over again the old life which he cursed. And the man who seeks salvation in change of place like a migrating bird would find nothing anywhere, for all the world is alike to him. Seek salvation in men? In whom and how? Samoylenko’s kindness and generosity could no more save him than the deacon’s laughter or Von Koren’s hatred. He must look for salvation in himself alone, and if there were no finding it, why waste time? He must kill himself, that was all. . . .
“Go to Petersburg?” Laevsky thought. But that would mean starting over with the old life that he despised. And a person who looks for salvation in changing places, like a migrating bird, wouldn’t find anything anywhere because the whole world feels the same to him. Look for salvation in people? In whom and how? Samoylenko’s kindness and generosity couldn’t save him any more than the deacon’s laughter or Von Koren’s hatred. He had to find salvation within himself, and if he couldn’t find it, why waste time? He had to end his life, that was all. . . .
He heard the sound of a carriage. It was getting light. The carriage passed by, turned, and crunching on the wet sand, stopped near the house. There were two men in the carriage.
He heard the sound of a carriage. It was getting light. The carriage passed by, turned, and crunched on the wet sand, stopping near the house. There were two men in the carriage.
“Wait a minute; I’m coming directly,” Laevsky said to them out of the window. “I’m not asleep. Surely it’s not time yet?”
“Wait a minute; I’m coming right now,” Laevsky said to them from the window. “I’m not asleep. It can’t be time yet, can it?”
“Yes, it’s four o’clock. By the time we get there . . . .”
“Yes, it’s four o’clock. By the time we get there . . . .”
Laevsky put on his overcoat and cap, put some cigarettes in his pocket, and stood still hesitating. He felt as though there was something else he must do. In the street the seconds talked in low voices and the horses snorted, and this sound in the damp, early morning, when everybody was asleep and light was hardly dawning in the sky, filled Laevsky’s soul with a disconsolate feeling which was like a presentiment of evil. He stood for a little, hesitating, and went into the bedroom.
Laevsky put on his coat and cap, stuffed some cigarettes in his pocket, and stood there hesitating. He felt like there was something else he needed to do. Outside, the seconds murmured softly and the horses snorted, and this noise in the damp, early morning, when everyone was asleep and light was just beginning to break in the sky, filled Laevsky’s heart with a heavy feeling that felt like a premonition of something bad. He stood there for a moment, unsure, and then went into the bedroom.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was lying stretched out on the bed, wrapped from head to foot in a rug. She did not stir, and her whole appearance, especially her head, suggested an Egyptian mummy. Looking at her in silence, Laevsky mentally asked her forgiveness, and thought that if the heavens were not empty and there really were a God, then He would save her; if there were no God, then she had better perish—there was nothing for her to live for.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna was lying sprawled on the bed, completely wrapped in a blanket. She didn’t move, and her whole look, especially her head, reminded one of an Egyptian mummy. Watching her in silence, Laevsky silently asked for her forgiveness and thought that if there was a God out there, He would save her; but if there was no God, then it would be better for her to perish—she had nothing to live for.
All at once she jumped up, and sat up in bed. Lifting her pale face and looking with horror at Laevsky, she asked:
All of a sudden, she sat up straight in bed. Raising her pale face and staring at Laevsky in terror, she asked:
“Is it you? Is the storm over?”
“Is it you? Is the storm done?”
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
She remembered; put both hands to her head and shuddered all over.
She remembered, pressed both hands to her head, and shuddered all over.
“How miserable I am!” she said. “If only you knew how miserable I am! I expected,” she went on, half closing her eyes, “that you would kill me or turn me out of the house into the rain and storm, but you delay . . . delay . . .”
“I'm so miserable!” she said. “If only you understood how miserable I am! I expected,” she continued, half closing her eyes, “that you would either kill me or throw me out of the house into the rain and storm, but you keep delaying... delaying...”
Warmly and impulsively he put his arms round her and covered her knees and hands with kisses. Then when she muttered something and shuddered with the thought of the past, he stroked her hair, and looking into her face, realised that this unhappy, sinful woman was the one creature near and dear to him, whom no one could replace.
Warmly and impulsively, he wrapped his arms around her and showered her knees and hands with kisses. Then, when she mumbled something and shivered at the thought of the past, he gently stroked her hair and, looking into her face, realized that this unhappy, troubled woman was the one person in his life who was irreplaceable.
When he went out of the house and got into the carriage he wanted to return home alive.
When he left the house and got into the carriage, all he wanted was to get back home safely.
XVIII
The deacon got up, dressed, took his thick, gnarled stick and slipped quietly out of the house. It was dark, and for the first minute when he went into the street, he could not even see his white stick. There was not a single star in the sky, and it looked as though there would be rain again. There was a smell of wet sand and sea.
The deacon got up, got dressed, grabbed his thick, gnarled stick, and quietly slipped out of the house. It was dark, and for the first minute he was outside, he couldn't even see his white stick. There wasn’t a single star in the sky, and it looked like it might rain again. The air was filled with the scent of wet sand and sea.
“It’s to be hoped that the mountaineers won’t attack us,” thought the deacon, hearing the tap of the stick on the pavement, and noticing how loud and lonely the taps sounded in the stillness of the night.
“It’s to be hoped that the mountain climbers won’t attack us,” thought the deacon, hearing the tap of the stick on the pavement and noticing how loud and lonely the taps sounded in the stillness of the night.
When he got out of town, he began to see both the road and his stick. Here and there in the black sky there were dark cloudy patches, and soon a star peeped out and timidly blinked its one eye. The deacon walked along the high rocky coast and did not see the sea; it was slumbering below, and its unseen waves broke languidly and heavily on the shore, as though sighing “Ouf!” and how slowly! One wave broke—the deacon had time to count eight steps; then another broke, and six steps; later a third. As before, nothing could be seen, and in the darkness one could hear the languid, drowsy drone of the sea. One could hear the infinitely faraway, inconceivable time when God moved above chaos.
When he left town, he started to notice both the road and his stick. Here and there in the dark sky, there were patches of clouds, and soon a star peeked out, shyly blinking its one eye. The deacon walked along the high rocky coast but didn’t see the sea; it was sleeping below, and its unseen waves lazily and heavily crashed against the shore, as if sighing “Ouf!” and how slowly! One wave crashed—the deacon had time to count eight steps; then another crashed, and six steps; later a third. As before, nothing could be seen, and in the darkness, one could hear the lazy, sleepy hum of the sea. One could hear the unimaginably distant, inconceivable time when God moved over chaos.
The deacon felt uncanny. He hoped God would not punish him for keeping company with infidels, and even going to look at their duels. The duel would be nonsensical, bloodless, absurd, but however that might be, it was a heathen spectacle, and it was altogether unseemly for an ecclesiastical person to be present at it. He stopped and wondered—should he go back? But an intense, restless curiosity triumphed over his doubts, and he went on.
The deacon felt uneasy. He hoped God wouldn't punish him for hanging out with non-believers, even going to watch their duels. The duel would be pointless, bloodless, and ridiculous, but no matter how you look at it, it was a pagan event, and it was completely inappropriate for a churchman to be there. He paused and wondered—should he turn back? But an intense, restless curiosity won out over his doubts, and he continued on.
“Though they are infidels they are good people, and will be saved,” he assured himself. “They are sure to be saved,” he said aloud, lighting a cigarette.
“Even though they don’t share our beliefs, they are good people and will be saved,” he reassured himself. “They’re definitely going to be saved,” he said out loud, lighting a cigarette.
By what standard must one measure men’s qualities, to judge rightly of them? The deacon remembered his enemy, the inspector of the clerical school, who believed in God, lived in chastity, and did not fight duels; but he used to feed the deacon on bread with sand in it, and on one occasion almost pulled off the deacon’s ear. If human life was so artlessly constructed that every one respected this cruel and dishonest inspector who stole the Government flour, and his health and salvation were prayed for in the schools, was it just to shun such men as Von Koren and Laevsky, simply because they were unbelievers? The deacon was weighing this question, but he recalled how absurd Samoylenko had looked yesterday, and that broke the thread of his ideas. What fun they would have next day! The deacon imagined how he would sit under a bush and look on, and when Von Koren began boasting next day at dinner, he, the deacon, would begin laughing and telling him all the details of the duel.
By what standard should we measure people’s qualities to judge them fairly? The deacon remembered his rival, the inspector of the clerical school, who believed in God, lived a chaste life, and didn’t participate in duels; yet he used to give the deacon bread filled with sand, and once nearly tore off the deacon's ear. If life was so simply made that everyone respected this cruel and dishonest inspector who stole government flour, and his health and salvation were prayed for in schools, was it fair to avoid men like Von Koren and Laevsky just because they didn’t believe? The deacon was pondering this question, but then he recalled how ridiculous Samoylenko had looked yesterday, which broke his train of thought. What fun they would have the next day! The deacon pictured himself sitting under a bush and watching, and when Von Koren started bragging at dinner, he would laugh and share all the details about the duel.
“How do you know all about it?” the zoologist would ask.
“How do you know so much about it?” the zoologist would ask.
“Well, there you are! I stayed at home, but I know all about it.”
“Well, there you are! I stayed home, but I know all about it.”
It would be nice to write a comic description of the duel. His father-in-law would read it and laugh. A good story, told or written, was more than meat and drink to his father-in-law.
It would be nice to write a funny description of the duel. His father-in-law would read it and laugh. A good story, whether told or written, was more than just food and drink to his father-in-law.
The valley of the Yellow River opened before him. The stream was broader and fiercer for the rain, and instead of murmuring as before, it was raging. It began to get light. The grey, dingy morning, and the clouds racing towards the west to overtake the storm-clouds, the mountains girt with mist, and the wet trees, all struck the deacon as ugly and sinister. He washed at the brook, repeated his morning prayer, and felt a longing for tea and hot rolls, with sour cream, which were served every morning at his father-in-law’s. He remembered his wife and the “Days past Recall,” which she played on the piano. What sort of woman was she? His wife had been introduced, betrothed, and married to him all in one week: he had lived with her less than a month when he was ordered here, so that he had not had time to find out what she was like. All the same, he rather missed her.
The valley of the Yellow River lay before him. The stream was wider and more violent from the rain, and instead of the gentle murmur he remembered, it was now raging. The light began to creep in. The gray, dull morning with clouds racing westward to catch up with the storm clouds, the mountains shrouded in mist, and the wet trees all struck the deacon as ugly and ominous. He washed in the brook, repeated his morning prayer, and felt a craving for tea and hot rolls with sour cream that his father-in-law served every morning. He thought about his wife and the “Days Past Recall” that she played on the piano. What kind of woman was she? He had met her, got engaged, and married her all in one week: he had spent less than a month with her before he was sent here, so he hadn’t had the chance to truly get to know her. Still, he found himself missing her a bit.
“I must write her a nice letter . . .” he thought. The flag on the duhan hung limp, soaked by the rain, and the duhan itself with its wet roof seemed darker and lower than it had been before. Near the door was standing a cart; Kerbalay, with two mountaineers and a young Tatar woman in trousers—no doubt Kerbalay’s wife or daughter—were bringing sacks of something out of the duhan, and putting them on maize straw in the cart.
“I need to write her a nice letter . . .” he thought. The flag on the duhan hung limply, soaked by the rain, and the duhan itself, with its wet roof, looked darker and lower than before. Near the door, there was a cart; Kerbalay, along with two mountaineers and a young Tatar woman in trousers—probably Kerbalay’s wife or daughter—were unloading sacks of something from the duhan and placing them on maize straw in the cart.
Near the cart stood a pair of asses hanging their heads. When they had put in all the sacks, the mountaineers and the Tatar woman began covering them over with straw, while Kerbalay began hurriedly harnessing the asses.
Near the cart stood a pair of donkeys with their heads hanging low. Once they had loaded all the sacks, the mountain folks and the Tatar woman started covering them with straw, while Kerbalay quickly began harnessing the donkeys.
“Smuggling, perhaps,” thought the deacon.
“Maybe smuggling,” thought the deacon.
Here was the fallen tree with the dried pine-needles, here was the blackened patch from the fire. He remembered the picnic and all its incidents, the fire, the singing of the mountaineers, his sweet dreams of becoming a bishop, and of the Church procession. . . . The Black River had grown blacker and broader with the rain. The deacon walked cautiously over the narrow bridge, which by now was reached by the topmost crests of the dirty water, and went up through the little copse to the drying-shed.
Here was the fallen tree covered in dry pine needles, and here was the charred spot from the fire. He recalled the picnic and everything that happened there: the fire, the mountaineers singing, his dreams of becoming a bishop, and the church procession. . . . The Black River had turned darker and wider with the rain. The deacon carefully crossed the narrow bridge, which was now almost submerged by the high water, and made his way through the small grove to the drying shed.
“A splendid head,” he thought, stretching himself on the straw, and thinking of Von Koren. “A fine head—God grant him health; only there is cruelty in him. . . .”
“A great head,” he thought, lying back on the straw and thinking about Von Koren. “A nice head—God give him health; but there’s cruelty in him. . . .”
Why did he hate Laevsky and Laevsky hate him? Why were they going to fight a duel? If from their childhood they had known poverty as the deacon had; if they had been brought up among ignorant, hard-hearted, grasping, coarse and ill-mannered people who grudged you a crust of bread, who spat on the floor and hiccoughed at dinner and at prayers; if they had not been spoilt from childhood by the pleasant surroundings and the select circle of friends they lived in—how they would have rushed at each other, how readily they would have overlooked each other’s shortcomings and would have prized each other’s strong points! Why, how few even outwardly decent people there were in the world! It was true that Laevsky was flighty, dissipated, queer, but he did not steal, did not spit loudly on the floor; he did not abuse his wife and say, “You’ll eat till you burst, but you don’t want to work;” he would not beat a child with reins, or give his servants stinking meat to eat— surely this was reason enough to be indulgent to him? Besides, he was the chief sufferer from his failings, like a sick man from his sores. Instead of being led by boredom and some sort of misunderstanding to look for degeneracy, extinction, heredity, and other such incomprehensible things in each other, would they not do better to stoop a little lower and turn their hatred and anger where whole streets resounded with moanings from coarse ignorance, greed, scolding, impurity, swearing, the shrieks of women. . . .
Why did he hate Laevsky and Laevsky hate him? Why were they planning to duel? If they had known poverty in their childhood like the deacon did; if they had grown up among ignorant, selfish, rude, and ill-mannered people who begrudged you even a piece of bread, who spat on the floor and hiccuped during meals and prayers; if they hadn’t been spoiled in their youth by comfortable surroundings and a select group of friends—how eagerly would they have charged at each other, how easily would they have overlooked each other’s flaws and recognized each other’s strengths! Why, there are so few people in the world who even seem decent! It was true that Laevsky was erratic, reckless, and odd, but he didn’t steal, didn’t loudly spit on the floor; he didn’t mistreat his wife and say, “You’ll eat until you burst, but you don’t want to work;” he wouldn’t beat a child with reins or give his servants rotten meat to eat—surely that was enough reason to be lenient with him? Plus, he was the one who suffered most from his flaws, like a sick person from their wounds. Instead of letting boredom and some misunderstanding lead them to look for problems, decay, heredity, or other baffling things in each other, wouldn’t they be better off looking down a bit lower and directing their hatred and anger where entire streets echoed with the cries of ignorance, greed, yelling, filth, swearing, the screams of women…
The sound of a carriage interrupted the deacon’s thoughts. He glanced out of the door and saw a carriage and in it three persons: Laevsky, Sheshkovsky, and the superintendent of the post-office.
The sound of a carriage broke into the deacon’s thoughts. He looked out the door and saw a carriage with three people inside: Laevsky, Sheshkovsky, and the post-office superintendent.
“Stop!” said Sheshkovsky.
“Stop!” said Sheshkovsky.
All three got out of the carriage and looked at one another.
All three got out of the carriage and looked at each other.
“They are not here yet,” said Sheshkovsky, shaking the mud off. “Well? Till the show begins, let us go and find a suitable spot; there’s not room to turn round here.”
“They aren’t here yet,” said Sheshkovsky, shaking off the mud. “So? Until the show starts, let’s go find a good spot; there’s no room to move around here.”
They went further up the river and soon vanished from sight. The Tatar driver sat in the carriage with his head resting on his shoulder and fell asleep. After waiting ten minutes the deacon came out of the drying-shed, and taking off his black hat that he might not be noticed, he began threading his way among the bushes and strips of maize along the bank, crouching and looking about him. The grass and maize were wet, and big drops fell on his head from the trees and bushes. “Disgraceful!” he muttered, picking up his wet and muddy skirt. “Had I realised it, I would not have come.”
They went further up the river and quickly disappeared from view. The Tatar driver slumped in the carriage with his head resting on his shoulder and dozed off. After waiting for ten minutes, the deacon emerged from the drying-shed, removed his black hat to avoid being seen, and started to make his way through the bushes and patches of corn along the bank, crouching and checking around him. The grass and corn were damp, and large drops fell on his head from the trees and bushes. “This is ridiculous!” he muttered, picking up his wet and muddy skirt. “If I had known, I wouldn't have come.”
Soon he heard voices and caught sight of them. Laevsky was walking rapidly to and fro in the small glade with bowed back and hands thrust in his sleeves; his seconds were standing at the water’s edge, rolling cigarettes.
Soon he heard voices and saw them. Laevsky was pacing back and forth in the small clearing, his back hunched and his hands buried in his sleeves; his companions were standing by the water's edge, rolling cigarettes.
“Strange,” thought the deacon, not recognising Laevsky’s walk; “he looks like an old man. . . .”
“Strange,” thought the deacon, not recognizing Laevsky’s walk; “he looks like an old man. . . .”
“How rude it is of them!” said the superintendent of the post-office, looking at his watch. “It may be learned manners to be late, but to my thinking it’s hoggish.”
“How rude of them!” said the post office superintendent, checking his watch. “Maybe it’s considered polite to be late, but in my opinion, it’s just selfish.”
Sheshkovsky, a stout man with a black beard, listened and said:
Sheshkovsky, a heavyset man with a black beard, listened and said:
“They’re coming!”
“They're here!”
XIX
“It’s the first time in my life I’ve seen it! How glorious!” said Von Koren, pointing to the glade and stretching out his hands to the east. “Look: green rays!”
“It’s the first time in my life I’ve seen it! How amazing!” said Von Koren, pointing to the clearing and stretching out his hands to the east. “Look: green rays!”
In the east behind the mountains rose two green streaks of light, and it really was beautiful. The sun was rising.
In the east, behind the mountains, two green beams of light appeared, and it was truly beautiful. The sun was coming up.
“Good-morning!” the zoologist went on, nodding to Laevsky’s seconds. “I’m not late, am I?”
“Good morning!” the zoologist continued, nodding to Laevsky’s seconds. “I’m not late, am I?”
He was followed by his seconds, Boyko and Govorovsky, two very young officers of the same height, wearing white tunics, and Ustimovitch, the thin, unsociable doctor; in one hand he had a bag of some sort, and in the other hand, as usual, a cane which he held behind him. Laying the bag on the ground and greeting no one, he put the other hand, too, behind his back and began pacing up and down the glade.
He was followed by his seconds, Boyko and Govorovsky, two young officers of the same height, wearing white tunics, and Ustimovitch, the thin, unfriendly doctor; in one hand he had a bag of some sort, and in the other, as usual, a cane which he held behind him. Setting the bag on the ground and not greeting anyone, he put his other hand behind his back too and started pacing back and forth in the clearing.
Laevsky felt the exhaustion and awkwardness of a man who is soon perhaps to die, and is for that reason an object of general attention. He wanted to be killed as soon as possible or taken home. He saw the sunrise now for the first time in his life; the early morning, the green rays of light, the dampness, and the men in wet boots, seemed to him to have nothing to do with his life, to be superfluous and embarrassing. All this had no connection with the night he had been through, with his thoughts and his feeling of guilt, and so he would have gladly gone away without waiting for the duel.
Laevsky felt the fatigue and awkwardness of someone who knows they might die soon and is therefore the center of attention. He wanted to either be killed quickly or taken home. For the first time in his life, he was seeing the sunrise; the early morning, the green rays of light, the damp air, and the men in wet boots all felt irrelevant and uncomfortable to him. None of this was connected to the night he had experienced, along with his thoughts and feelings of guilt, and he would have happily left without waiting for the duel.
Von Koren was noticeably excited and tried to conceal it, pretending that he was more interested in the green light than anything. The seconds were confused, and looked at one another as though wondering why they were here and what they were to do.
Von Koren was clearly excited and tried to hide it, pretending to be more interested in the green light than anything else. The seconds were disoriented and glanced at each other as if they were questioning why they were there and what they were supposed to do.
“I imagine, gentlemen, there is no need for us to go further,” said Sheshkovsky. “This place will do.”
“I think, gentlemen, we don’t need to go any further,” said Sheshkovsky. “This place is fine.”
“Yes, of course,” Von Koren agreed.
“Yes, of course,” Von Koren said.
A silence followed. Ustimovitch, pacing to and fro, suddenly turned sharply to Laevsky and said in a low voice, breathing into his face:
A silence followed. Ustimovitch, pacing back and forth, suddenly turned sharply to Laevsky and said in a low voice, breathing into his face:
“They have very likely not told you my terms yet. Each side is to pay me fifteen roubles, and in the case of the death of one party, the survivor is to pay thirty.”
“They probably haven’t informed you of my terms yet. Each side is to pay me fifteen roubles, and if one party dies, the surviving party is to pay thirty.”
Laevsky was already acquainted with the man, but now for the first time he had a distinct view of his lustreless eyes, his stiff moustaches, and wasted, consumptive neck; he was a money-grubber, not a doctor; his breath had an unpleasant smell of beef.
Laevsky already knew the man, but this was the first time he clearly noticed his dull eyes, stiff mustache, and thin, sickly neck; he was more of a greedy businessman than a doctor; his breath had an unpleasant odor of beef.
“What people there are in the world!” thought Laevsky, and answered: “Very good.”
“What a lot of people there are in the world!” thought Laevsky, and replied: “Very good.”
The doctor nodded and began pacing to and fro again, and it was evident he did not need the money at all, but simply asked for it from hatred. Every one felt it was time to begin, or to end what had been begun, but instead of beginning or ending, they stood about, moved to and fro and smoked. The young officers, who were present at a duel for the first time in their lives, and even now hardly believed in this civilian and, to their thinking, unnecessary duel, looked critically at their tunics and stroked their sleeves. Sheshkovsky went up to them and said softly: “Gentlemen, we must use every effort to prevent this duel; they ought to be reconciled.”
The doctor nodded and started pacing back and forth again, and it was clear he didn't need the money at all, but only asked for it out of spite. Everyone felt it was time to either begin or end what had been started, but instead of doing either, they just stood around, moving aimlessly and smoking. The young officers, who were witnessing a duel for the first time in their lives, and still barely believed in this civilian duel that seemed unnecessary to them, were critically examining their tunics and smoothing their sleeves. Sheshkovsky approached them and said quietly, “Gentlemen, we need to do everything we can to stop this duel; they should reconcile.”
He flushed crimson and added:
He blushed and added:
“Kirilin was at my rooms last night complaining that Laevsky had found him with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and all that sort of thing.”
“Kirilin was at my place last night saying that Laevsky caught him with Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and all that drama.”
“Yes, we know that too,” said Boyko.
“Yes, we know that too,” Boyko said.
“Well, you see, then . . . Laevsky’s hands are trembling and all that sort of thing . . . he can scarcely hold a pistol now. To fight with him is as inhuman as to fight a man who is drunk or who has typhoid. If a reconciliation cannot be arranged, we ought to put off the duel, gentlemen, or something. . . . It’s such a sickening business, I can’t bear to see it.”
“Well, you see, Laevsky’s hands are shaking and all that. He can barely hold a gun now. Fighting him is as cruel as fighting someone who’s drunk or has typhoid. If we can’t work out a reconciliation, we should postpone the duel, gentlemen, or something. It’s such a disgusting situation; I can't stand to watch it.”
“Talk to Von Koren.”
"Speak with Von Koren."
“I don’t know the rules of duelling, damnation take them, and I don’t want to either; perhaps he’ll imagine Laevsky funks it and has sent me to him, but he can think what he likes—I’ll speak to him.”
“I don’t know the rules of dueling, and honestly, I don’t care to learn them either; maybe he'll think Laevsky is avoiding him and has sent me in his place, but he can think whatever he wants—I’m going to talk to him.”
Sheshkovsky hesitatingly walked up to Von Koren with a slight limp, as though his leg had gone to sleep; and as he went towards him, clearing his throat, his whole figure was a picture of indolence.
Sheshkovsky walked up to Von Koren with a slight limp, as if his leg had fallen asleep. As he approached, clearing his throat, he looked like a complete picture of laziness.
“There’s something I must say to you, sir,” he began, carefully scrutinising the flowers on the zoologist’s shirt. “It’s confidential. I don’t know the rules of duelling, damnation take them, and I don’t want to, and I look on the matter not as a second and that sort of thing, but as a man, and that’s all about it.”
“There's something I need to tell you, sir,” he started, carefully examining the flowers on the zoologist's shirt. “It's confidential. I have no idea what the rules of dueling are, and honestly, I don't care to know. I see this not as being a second or anything like that, but just as a man, and that's all there is to it.”
“Yes. Well?”
“Yes. What’s up?”
“When seconds suggest reconciliation they are usually not listened to; it is looked upon as a formality. Amour propre and all that. But I humbly beg you to look carefully at Ivan Andreitch. He’s not in a normal state, so to speak, to-day—not in his right mind, and a pitiable object. He has had a misfortune. I can’t endure gossip. . . .”
“When seconds recommend making up, people usually ignore it; it’s seen as just a formality. Amour propre and all that. But I urge you to really observe Ivan Andreitch. He’s not in a normal state today—not thinking straight, and he’s a sad sight. He’s had some bad luck. I can’t stand gossip. . . .”
Sheshkovsky flushed crimson and looked round.
Sheshkovsky turned red and glanced around.
“But in view of the duel, I think it necessary to inform you, Laevsky found his madam last night at Muridov’s with . . . another gentleman.”
“But given the duel, I think it’s important to let you know that Laevsky found his lady last night at Muridov’s with . . . another guy.”
“How disgusting!” muttered the zoologist; he turned pale, frowned, and spat loudly. “Tfoo!”
“How gross!” muttered the zoologist; he turned pale, frowned, and spat loudly. “Tfoo!”
His lower lip quivered, he walked away from Sheshkovsky, unwilling to hear more, and as though he had accidentally tasted something bitter, spat loudly again, and for the first time that morning looked with hatred at Laevsky. His excitement and awkwardness passed off; he tossed his head and said aloud:
His lower lip trembled as he turned away from Sheshkovsky, not wanting to hear more. It was like he had unintentionally tasted something unpleasant, and he spat loudly again. For the first time that morning, he glared at Laevsky with hatred. His anxiety and awkwardness faded; he tossed his head and said aloud:
“Gentlemen, what are we waiting for, I should like to know? Why don’t we begin?”
“Gentlemen, what are we waiting for? I'd like to know. Why don’t we get started?”
Sheshkovsky glanced at the officers and shrugged his shoulders.
Sheshkovsky looked at the officers and shrugged.
“Gentlemen,” he said aloud, addressing no one in particular. “Gentlemen, we propose that you should be reconciled.”
“Gentlemen,” he said loudly, not really directing his words at anyone. “Gentlemen, we suggest that you come to an agreement.”
“Let us make haste and get the formalities over,” said Von Koren. “Reconciliation has been discussed already. What is the next formality? Make haste, gentlemen, time won’t wait for us.”
“Let’s hurry up and get the formalities out of the way,” said Von Koren. “We’ve already talked about reconciliation. What’s the next formality? Hurry up, gentlemen, time won’t wait for us.”
“But we insist on reconciliation all the same,” said Sheshkovsky in a guilty voice, as a man compelled to interfere in another man’s business; he flushed, laid his hand on his heart, and went on: “Gentlemen, we see no grounds for associating the offence with the duel. There’s nothing in common between duelling and offences against one another of which we are sometimes guilty through human weakness. You are university men and men of culture, and no doubt you see in the duel nothing but a foolish and out-of-date formality, and all that sort of thing. That’s how we look at it ourselves, or we shouldn’t have come, for we cannot allow that in our presence men should fire at one another, and all that.” Sheshkovsky wiped the perspiration off his face and went on: “Make an end to your misunderstanding, gentlemen; shake hands, and let us go home and drink to peace. Upon my honour, gentlemen!”
“But we still believe in reconciliation,” Sheshkovsky said with a guilty tone, as if he had to step into someone else's issues; he blushed, placed his hand on his heart, and continued: “Gentlemen, we don’t see any reason to connect the offense with the duel. There’s no relationship between dueling and the mistakes we sometimes make due to human weakness. You are educated men and cultured individuals, and surely you view dueling as nothing more than a silly and outdated formality, and all that. That’s how we see it too, or we wouldn’t have come, because we cannot allow men to shoot at each other in our presence, and all that.” Sheshkovsky wiped the sweat off his face and added: “Let’s put an end to this misunderstanding, gentlemen; shake hands, and let’s go home and toast to peace. I swear, gentlemen!”
Von Koren did not speak. Laevsky, seeing that they were looking at him, said:
Von Koren didn’t say anything. Laevsky, noticing that they were staring at him, said:
“I have nothing against Nikolay Vassilitch; if he considers I’m to blame, I’m ready to apologise to him.”
“I have nothing against Nikolay Vassilitch; if he thinks I’m to blame, I’m ready to apologize to him.”
Von Koren was offended.
Von Koren was upset.
“It is evident, gentlemen,” he said, “you want Mr. Laevsky to return home a magnanimous and chivalrous figure, but I cannot give you and him that satisfaction. And there was no need to get up early and drive eight miles out of town simply to drink to peace, to have breakfast, and to explain to me that the duel is an out-of-date formality. A duel is a duel, and there is no need to make it more false and stupid than it is in reality. I want to fight!”
“It’s clear, gentlemen,” he said, “that you want Mr. Laevsky to come back as a noble and heroic figure, but I can’t offer you or him that satisfaction. There was no reason to wake up early and drive eight miles out of town just to toast to peace, have breakfast, and explain to me that the duel is an outdated formality. A duel is a duel, and there’s no need to make it seem more fake and ridiculous than it actually is. I want to fight!”
A silence followed. Boyko took a pair of pistols out of a box; one was given to Von Koren and one to Laevsky, and then there followed a difficulty which afforded a brief amusement to the zoologist and the seconds. It appeared that of all the people present not one had ever in his life been at a duel, and no one knew precisely how they ought to stand, and what the seconds ought to say and do. But then Boyko remembered and began, with a smile, to explain.
A silence fell. Boyko took a pair of pistols out of a box; one was handed to Von Koren and the other to Laevsky, which led to a confusion that briefly entertained the zoologist and the seconds. It turned out that none of the people there had ever been in a duel, and no one was sure how they should stand or what the seconds should say and do. But then Boyko remembered and started to explain with a smile.
“Gentlemen, who remembers the description in Lermontov?” asked Von Koren, laughing. “In Turgenev, too, Bazarov had a duel with some one. . . .”
“Guys, who remembers the description in Lermontov?” asked Von Koren, laughing. “In Turgenev, too, Bazarov had a duel with someone. . . .”
“There’s no need to remember,” said Ustimovitch impatiently. “Measure the distance, that’s all.”
“There's no need to remember,” Ustimovitch said impatiently. “Just measure the distance, that's it.”
And he took three steps as though to show how to measure it. Boyko counted out the steps while his companion drew his sabre and scratched the earth at the extreme points to mark the barrier. In complete silence the opponents took their places.
And he took three steps as if to demonstrate how to measure it. Boyko counted out the steps while his companion unsheathed his sword and scratched the ground at the far ends to mark the boundary. In total silence, the opponents took their positions.
“Moles,” the deacon thought, sitting in the bushes.
“Moles,” the deacon thought, sitting in the bushes.
Sheshkovsky said something, Boyko explained something again, but Laevsky did not hear—or rather heard, but did not understand. He cocked his pistol when the time came to do so, and raised the cold, heavy weapon with the barrel upwards. He forgot to unbutton his overcoat, and it felt very tight over his shoulder and under his arm, and his arm rose as awkwardly as though the sleeve had been cut out of tin. He remembered the hatred he had felt the night before for the swarthy brow and curly hair, and felt that even yesterday at the moment of intense hatred and anger he could not have shot a man. Fearing that the bullet might somehow hit Von Koren by accident, he raised the pistol higher and higher, and felt that this too obvious magnanimity was indelicate and anything but magnanimous, but he did not know how else to do and could do nothing else. Looking at the pale, ironically smiling face of Von Koren, who evidently had been convinced from the beginning that his opponent would fire in the air, Laevsky thought that, thank God, everything would be over directly, and all that he had to do was to press the trigger rather hard. . . .
Sheshkovsky said something, Boyko explained something again, but Laevsky didn’t hear—or more like he heard but didn’t understand. He cocked his pistol when it was time and raised the cold, heavy weapon with the barrel pointing up. He forgot to unbutton his overcoat, which felt really tight on his shoulder and under his arm, and his arm lifted awkwardly as if the sleeve had been made of metal. He recalled the hatred he felt the night before for the dark brows and curly hair, and realized that even in that moment of intense anger, he couldn’t have shot a man. Worried that the bullet might accidentally hit Von Koren, he raised the pistol higher and higher, feeling that this overly obvious show of kindness was inappropriate and anything but noble, but he didn’t know what else to do and couldn't do anything else. Looking at Von Koren’s pale, ironically smiling face, who clearly believed all along that his opponent would fire into the air, Laevsky thought that, thank God, it would all be over soon, and all he had to do was pull the trigger pretty hard. . . .
He felt a violent shock on the shoulder; there was the sound of a shot and an answering echo in the mountains: ping-ting!
He felt a jolt on his shoulder; there was the sound of a gunshot and an echo bouncing back from the mountains: ping-ting!
Von Koren cocked his pistol and looked at Ustimovitch, who was pacing as before with his hands behind his back, taking no notice of any one.
Von Koren pulled back the hammer on his pistol and watched Ustimovitch, who was walking back and forth as usual with his hands behind his back, completely ignoring everyone around him.
“Doctor,” said the zoologist, “be so good as not to move to and fro like a pendulum. You make me dizzy.”
“Doctor,” said the zoologist, “please don’t sway back and forth like a pendulum. It’s making me dizzy.”
The doctor stood still. Von Koren began to take aim at Laevsky.
The doctor stayed motionless. Von Koren started to aim at Laevsky.
“It’s all over!” thought Laevsky.
“It’s all over!” Laevsky thought.
The barrel of the pistol aimed straight at his face, the expression of hatred and contempt in Von Koren’s attitude and whole figure, and the murder just about to be committed by a decent man in broad daylight, in the presence of decent men, and the stillness and the unknown force that compelled Laevsky to stand still and not to run —how mysterious it all was, how incomprehensible and terrible!
The barrel of the gun pointed directly at his face, the look of hatred and disdain in Von Koren’s demeanor and entire stance, and the fact that a decent man was on the verge of committing murder in broad daylight, in front of other decent men, along with the silence and the unseen force that made Laevsky freeze instead of fleeing—how mysterious it all was, how unfathomable and frightening!
The moment while Von Koren was taking aim seemed to Laevsky longer than a night: he glanced imploringly at the seconds; they were pale and did not stir.
The moment when Von Koren was taking aim felt to Laevsky like it lasted longer than a night: he looked at the seconds with desperation; they were pale and didn’t move.
“Make haste and fire,” thought Laevsky, and felt that his pale, quivering, and pitiful face must arouse even greater hatred in Von Koren.
“Quick, just shoot,” thought Laevsky, realizing that his pale, trembling, and sorry-looking face would only provoke even more hatred in Von Koren.
“I’ll kill him directly,” thought Von Koren, aiming at his forehead, with his finger already on the catch. “Yes, of course I’ll kill him.”
“I’m going to kill him right now,” thought Von Koren, aiming for his forehead, his finger already on the trigger. “Yeah, of course I’m going to kill him.”
“He’ll kill him!” A despairing shout was suddenly heard somewhere very close at hand.
“He’s going to kill him!” A desperate shout suddenly rang out nearby.
A shot rang out at once. Seeing that Laevsky remained standing where he was and did not fall, they all looked in the direction from which the shout had come, and saw the deacon. With pale face and wet hair sticking to his forehead and his cheeks, wet through and muddy, he was standing in the maize on the further bank, smiling rather queerly and waving his wet hat. Sheshkovsky laughed with joy, burst into tears, and moved away. . . .
A shot went off immediately. When they saw that Laevsky was still standing and hadn't fallen, everyone turned to look at where the shout had come from and spotted the deacon. With a pale face and hair soaked and sticking to his forehead, his cheeks covered in mud, he stood in the corn on the opposite bank, smiling awkwardly and waving his wet hat. Sheshkovsky laughed with happiness, started to cry, and walked away…
XX
A little while afterwards, Von Koren and the deacon met near the little bridge. The deacon was excited; he breathed hard, and avoided looking in people’s faces. He felt ashamed both of his terror and his muddy, wet garments.
A little while later, Von Koren and the deacon met by the small bridge. The deacon was agitated; he was breathing heavily and avoided making eye contact with people. He felt ashamed of both his fear and his muddy, wet clothes.
“I thought you meant to kill him . . .” he muttered. “How contrary to human nature it is! How utterly unnatural it is!”
“I thought you meant to kill him . . .” he said quietly. “How against human nature that is! How completely unnatural!”
“But how did you come here?” asked the zoologist.
“But how did you get here?” asked the zoologist.
“Don’t ask,” said the deacon, waving his hand. “The evil one tempted me, saying: ‘Go, go. . . .’ So I went and almost died of fright in the maize. But now, thank God, thank God. . . . I am awfully pleased with you,” muttered the deacon. “Old Grandad Tarantula will be glad . . . . It’s funny, it’s too funny! Only I beg of you most earnestly don’t tell anybody I was there, or I may get into hot water with the authorities. They will say: ‘The deacon was a second.’”
“Don’t ask,” said the deacon, waving his hand. “The evil one tempted me, saying: ‘Go, go. . . .’ So I went and almost died of fright in the cornfield. But now, thank God, thank God. . . . I’m really pleased with you,” muttered the deacon. “Old Grandad Tarantula will be glad . . . . It’s funny, it’s just too funny! But I seriously beg you, please don’t tell anyone I was there, or I might get in trouble with the authorities. They’ll say: ‘The deacon was a second.’”
“Gentlemen,” said Von Koren, “the deacon asks you not to tell any one you’ve seen him here. He might get into trouble.”
“Gentlemen,” said Von Koren, “the deacon is asking you not to mention that you’ve seen him here. He could get into trouble.”
“How contrary to human nature it is!” sighed the deacon. “Excuse my saying so, but your face was so dreadful that I thought you were going to kill him.”
“How against human nature it is!” sighed the deacon. “Sorry to say this, but your face looked so awful that I thought you were going to kill him.”
“I was very much tempted to put an end to that scoundrel,” said Von Koren, “but you shouted close by, and I missed my aim. The whole procedure is revolting to any one who is not used to it, and it has exhausted me, deacon. I feel awfully tired. Come along. . . .”
“I was really tempted to take out that scoundrel,” said Von Koren, “but you shouted nearby, and I missed my chance. The whole thing is disgusting to anyone who isn’t used to it, and it’s drained me, deacon. I feel so tired. Let’s go…”
“No, you must let me walk back. I must get dry, for I am wet and cold.”
“No, you have to let me walk back. I need to dry off because I'm wet and cold.”
“Well, as you like,” said the zoologist, in a weary tone, feeling dispirited, and, getting into the carriage, he closed his eyes. “As you like. . . .”
“Well, whatever you prefer,” said the zoologist, in a tired tone, feeling down, and, getting into the carriage, he closed his eyes. “Whatever you prefer. . . .”
While they were moving about the carriages and taking their seats, Kerbalay stood in the road, and, laying his hands on his stomach, he bowed low, showing his teeth; he imagined that the gentry had come to enjoy the beauties of nature and drink tea, and could not understand why they were getting into the carriages. The party set off in complete silence and only the deacon was left by the duhan.
While they were moving around the carriages and finding their seats, Kerbalay stood in the road, hands on his stomach, bowing deeply and smiling. He thought the gentry had come to appreciate the beauty of nature and have some tea, and he couldn’t understand why they were getting into the carriages. The group left in total silence, and only the deacon was left by the duhan.
“Come to the duhan, drink tea,” he said to Kerbalay. “Me wants to eat.”
“Come to the duhan, have some tea,” he said to Kerbalay. “I want to eat.”
Kerbalay spoke good Russian, but the deacon imagined that the Tatar would understand him better if he talked to him in broken Russian. “Cook omelette, give cheese. . . .”
Kerbalay spoke decent Russian, but the deacon thought the Tatar would understand him better if he used broken Russian. “Make omelette, give cheese. . . .”
“Come, come, father,” said Kerbalay, bowing. “I’ll give you everything . . . . I’ve cheese and wine. . . . Eat what you like.”
“Come on, Dad,” said Kerbalay, bowing. “I’ll give you everything . . . I have cheese and wine . . . Eat whatever you like.”
“What is ‘God’ in Tatar?” asked the deacon, going into the duhan.
“What is ‘God’ in Tatar?” asked the deacon, stepping into the duhan.
“Your God and my God are the same,” said Kerbalay, not understanding him. “God is the same for all men, only men are different. Some are Russian, some are Turks, some are English—there are many sorts of men, but God is one.”
“Your God and my God are the same,” said Kerbalay, not getting what he meant. “God is the same for everyone, but people are different. Some are Russian, some are Turks, some are English—there are many kinds of people, but God is one.”
“Very good. If all men worship the same God, why do you Mohammedans look upon Christians as your everlasting enemies?”
“Very good. If everyone worships the same God, why do you Muslims see Christians as your eternal enemies?”
“Why are you angry?” said Kerbalay, laying both hands on his stomach. “You are a priest; I am a Mussulman: you say, ‘I want to eat’—I give it you. . . . Only the rich man distinguishes your God from my God; for the poor man it is all the same. If you please, it is ready.”
“Why are you angry?” said Kerbalay, placing both hands on his stomach. “You’re a priest; I’m a Muslim: you say, ‘I’m hungry’—I’ll give you food. . . . Only the wealthy differentiate your God from my God; for the poor, it’s all the same. If you want, it’s ready.”
While this theological conversation was taking place at the duhan, Laevsky was driving home thinking how dreadful it had been driving there at daybreak, when the roads, the rocks, and the mountains were wet and dark, and the uncertain future seemed like a terrible abyss, of which one could not see the bottom; while now the raindrops hanging on the grass and on the stones were sparkling in the sun like diamonds, nature was smiling joyfully, and the terrible future was left behind. He looked at Sheshkovsky’s sullen, tear-stained face, and at the two carriages ahead of them in which Von Koren, his seconds, and the doctor were sitting, and it seemed to him as though they were all coming back from a graveyard in which a wearisome, insufferable man who was a burden to others had just been buried.
While this theological conversation was happening at the duhan, Laevsky was driving home, reflecting on how awful it had been to drive there at dawn when the roads, rocks, and mountains were wet and dark, and the uncertain future felt like a terrifying abyss with no visible bottom. Now, though, the raindrops clinging to the grass and stones sparkled in the sunlight like diamonds, nature was beaming joyfully, and the dreadful future was behind him. He glanced at Sheshkovsky’s gloomy, tear-streaked face and at the two carriages ahead of them, where Von Koren, his seconds, and the doctor were sitting, and it seemed to him that they were all returning from a graveyard where a tiresome, unbearable man, a burden to others, had just been buried.
“Everything is over,” he thought of his past, cautiously touching his neck with his fingers.
“Everything is over,” he thought about his past, carefully touching his neck with his fingers.
On the right side of his neck was a small swelling, of the length and breadth of his little finger, and he felt a pain, as though some one had passed a hot iron over his neck. The bullet had bruised it.
On the right side of his neck was a small bump, about the size of his pinky finger, and he felt a pain, as if someone had run a hot iron across his neck. The bullet had left a bruise.
Afterwards, when he got home, a strange, long, sweet day began for him, misty as forgetfulness. Like a man released from prison or from hospital, he stared at the long-familiar objects and wondered that the tables, the windows, the chairs, the light, and the sea stirred in him a keen, childish delight such as he had not known for long, long years. Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, pale and haggard, could not understand his gentle voice and strange movements; she made haste to tell him everything that had happened to her. . . . It seemed to her that very likely he scarcely heard and did not understand her, and that if he did know everything he would curse her and kill her, but he listened to her, stroked her face and hair, looked into her eyes and said:
After he got home, a strange, long, sweet day began for him, misty like forgetfulness. Like someone getting out of prison or the hospital, he stared at the familiar objects around him and was amazed that the tables, the windows, the chairs, the light, and the sea brought him a sharp, childish joy that he hadn't felt in many, many years. Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, looking pale and exhausted, couldn't understand his soft voice and odd gestures; she hurried to tell him everything that had happened to her. . . . She thought he probably barely heard her and didn’t understand, and that if he did know everything, he would curse her and kill her, but he listened to her, gently stroked her face and hair, looked into her eyes, and said:
“I have nobody but you. . . .”
“I have no one but you. . . .”
Then they sat a long while in the garden, huddled close together, saying nothing, or dreaming aloud of their happy life in the future, in brief, broken sentences, while it seemed to him that he had never spoken at such length or so eloquently.
Then they sat for a long time in the garden, huddled close together, saying nothing, or daydreaming about their happy future together, in short, broken sentences, while it felt to him that he had never spoken so much or so eloquently.
XXI
More than three months had passed.
More than three months had gone by.
The day came that Von Koren had fixed on for his departure. A cold, heavy rain had been falling from early morning, a north-east wind was blowing, and the waves were high on the sea. It was said that the steamer would hardly be able to come into the harbour in such weather. By the time-table it should have arrived at ten o’clock in the morning, but Von Koren, who had gone on to the sea-front at midday and again after dinner, could see nothing through the field-glass but grey waves and rain covering the horizon.
The day arrived that Von Koren had chosen for his departure. A cold, heavy rain had been falling since early morning, a northeast wind was blowing, and the waves were high on the sea. It was said that the steamer would probably struggle to come into the harbor in such weather. According to the schedule, it should have arrived by ten o'clock in the morning, but Von Koren, who had gone to the sea-front at noon and again after dinner, could see nothing through the binoculars but gray waves and rain obscuring the horizon.
Towards the end of the day the rain ceased and the wind began to drop perceptibly. Von Koren had already made up his mind that he would not be able to get off that day, and had settled down to play chess with Samoylenko; but after dark the orderly announced that there were lights on the sea and that a rocket had been seen.
Towards the end of the day, the rain stopped, and the wind began to calm down noticeably. Von Koren had already decided that he wouldn’t be able to leave that day and had settled in to play chess with Samoylenko; however, after dark, the orderly announced that there were lights on the sea and that a rocket had been spotted.
Von Koren made haste. He put his satchel over his shoulder, and kissed Samoylenko and the deacon. Though there was not the slightest necessity, he went through the rooms again, said good-bye to the orderly and the cook, and went out into the street, feeling that he had left something behind, either at the doctor’s or his lodging. In the street he walked beside Samoylenko, behind them came the deacon with a box, and last of all the orderly with two portmanteaus. Only Samoylenko and the orderly could distinguish the dim lights on the sea. The others gazed into the darkness and saw nothing. The steamer had stopped a long way from the coast.
Von Koren hurried. He threw his satchel over his shoulder and hugged Samoylenko and the deacon goodbye. Even though there was no real reason, he went through the rooms one more time, said farewell to the orderly and the cook, and stepped out into the street, feeling like he had forgotten something either at the doctor’s place or his own. In the street, he walked next to Samoylenko, with the deacon carrying a box behind them, and lastly, the orderly with two suitcases. Only Samoylenko and the orderly could see the faint lights on the sea. The others stared into the darkness and saw nothing. The steamer was docked far from the shore.
“Make haste, make haste,” Von Koren hurried them. “I am afraid it will set off.”
“Quick, quick,” Von Koren urged them. “I’m worried it will go off.”
As they passed the little house with three windows, into which Laevsky had moved soon after the duel, Von Koren could not resist peeping in at the window. Laevsky was sitting, writing, bent over the table, with his back to the window.
As they walked by the small house with three windows, where Laevsky had moved shortly after the duel, Von Koren couldn't help but glance inside. Laevsky was sitting at the table, writing and facing away from the window.
“I wonder at him!” said the zoologist softly. “What a screw he has put on himself!”
“I can't believe him!” said the zoologist quietly. “What a mess he has made of himself!”
“Yes, one may well wonder,” said Samoylenko. “He sits from morning till night, he’s always at work. He works to pay off his debts. And he lives, brother, worse than a beggar!”
“Yes, you might wonder,” said Samoylenko. “He sits from morning till night, always working. He works to pay off his debts. And he lives, my friend, worse than a beggar!”
Half a minute of silence followed. The zoologist, the doctor, and the deacon stood at the window and went on looking at Laevsky.
Half a minute of silence passed. The zoologist, the doctor, and the deacon stood by the window and continued watching Laevsky.
“So he didn’t get away from here, poor fellow,” said Samoylenko. “Do you remember how hard he tried?”
“So he didn’t escape from here, poor guy,” said Samoylenko. “Do you remember how hard he tried?”
“Yes, he has put a screw on himself,” Von Koren repeated. “His marriage, the way he works all day long for his daily bread, a new expression in his face, and even in his walk—it’s all so extraordinary that I don’t know what to call it.”
“Yes, he has put a screw on himself,” Von Koren repeated. “His marriage, the way he works all day for his daily bread, a new look on his face, and even in his walk—it’s all so unusual that I don’t know what to call it.”
The zoologist took Samoylenko’s sleeve and went on with emotion in his voice:
The zoologist grabbed Samoylenko's sleeve and continued with feeling in his voice:
“You tell him and his wife that when I went away I was full of admiration for them and wished them all happiness . . . and I beg him, if he can, not to remember evil against me. He knows me. He knows that if I could have foreseen this change, then I might have become his best friend.”
“You tell him and his wife that when I left, I was really impressed by them and wished them all the best... and I ask him, if he can, not to hold anything against me. He knows me. He knows that if I had seen this change coming, I might have become his best friend.”
“Go in and say good-bye to him.”
“Go in and say goodbye to him.”
“No, that wouldn’t do.”
“No, that won’t work.”
“Why? God knows, perhaps you’ll never see him again.”
“Why? Who knows, maybe you’ll never see him again.”
The zoologist reflected, and said:
The zoologist thought and said:
“That’s true.”
"That's right."
Samoylenko tapped softly at the window. Laevsky started and looked round.
Samoylenko knocked lightly on the window. Laevsky jumped and turned to look.
“Vanya, Nikolay Vassilitch wants to say goodbye to you,” said Samoylenko. “He is just going away.”
“Vanya, Nikolay Vassilitch wants to say goodbye to you,” Samoylenko said. “He’s just leaving.”
Laevsky got up from the table, and went into the passage to open the door. Samoylenko, the zoologist, and the deacon went into the house.
Laevsky stood up from the table and walked into the hallway to open the door. Samoylenko, the zoologist, and the deacon entered the house.
“I can only come for one minute,” began the zoologist, taking off his goloshes in the passage, and already wishing he had not given way to his feelings and come in, uninvited. “It is as though I were forcing myself on him,” he thought, “and that’s stupid.”
“I can only stay for a minute,” the zoologist started, taking off his boots in the hallway, already regretting his decision to give in to his emotions and come in uninvited. “It feels like I’m imposing on him,” he thought, “and that’s just ridiculous.”
“Forgive me for disturbing you,” he said as he went into the room with Laevsky, “but I’m just going away, and I had an impulse to see you. God knows whether we shall ever meet again.”
“Sorry to bother you,” he said as he entered the room with Laevsky, “but I’m just about to leave, and I felt the urge to see you. Who knows if we’ll ever see each other again.”
“I am very glad to see you. . . . Please come in,” said Laevsky, and he awkwardly set chairs for his visitors as though he wanted to bar their way, and stood in the middle of the room, rubbing his hands.
“I’m really glad to see you. . . . Please come in,” Laevsky said, awkwardly arranging chairs for his guests as if he was trying to block their way, and stood in the middle of the room, rubbing his hands.
“I should have done better to have left my audience in the street,” thought Von Koren, and he said firmly: “Don’t remember evil against me, Ivan Andreitch. To forget the past is, of course, impossible —it is too painful, and I’ve not come here to apologise or to declare that I was not to blame. I acted sincerely, and I have not changed my convictions since then. . . . It is true that I see, to my great delight, that I was mistaken in regard to you, but it’s easy to make a false step even on a smooth road, and, in fact, it’s the natural human lot: if one is not mistaken in the main, one is mistaken in the details. Nobody knows the real truth.”
“I should have done better to leave my audience in the street,” thought Von Koren, and he said firmly, “Don’t hold any grudges against me, Ivan Andreitch. Forgetting the past is, of course, impossible—it’s too painful, and I didn’t come here to apologize or to say that I wasn’t at fault. I acted with sincerity, and my beliefs haven’t changed since then... It’s true that I’m pleasantly surprised to see I was wrong about you, but it’s easy to make a mistake even on a smooth path, and that’s just the human experience: if you’re not wrong in the broad strokes, you’re wrong in the details. Nobody knows the full truth.”
“No, no one knows the truth,” said Laevsky.
“No, no one knows the truth,” Laevsky said.
“Well, good-bye. . . . God give you all happiness.”
“Well, goodbye... May God grant you all happiness.”
Von Koren gave Laevsky his hand; the latter took it and bowed.
Von Koren extended his hand to Laevsky; Laevsky took it and bowed.
“Don’t remember evil against me,” said Von Koren. “Give my greetings to your wife, and say I am very sorry not to say good-bye to her.”
“Don’t hold any grudges against me,” said Von Koren. “Send my regards to your wife, and tell her I’m really sorry I couldn’t say goodbye to her.”
“She is at home.”
"She's at home."
Laevsky went to the door of the next room, and said:
Laevsky walked over to the door of the next room and said:
“Nadya, Nikolay Vassilitch wants to say goodbye to you.”
“Nadya, Nikolay Vassilitch wants to say goodbye.”
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna came in; she stopped near the doorway and looked shyly at the visitors. There was a look of guilt and dismay on her face, and she held her hands like a schoolgirl receiving a scolding.
Nadyezhda Fyodorovna walked in; she paused by the doorway and glanced shyly at the visitors. There was an expression of guilt and distress on her face, and she held her hands like a schoolgirl about to get reprimanded.
“I’m just going away, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna,” said Von Koren, “and have come to say good-bye.”
“I’m just leaving, Nadyezhda Fyodorovna,” said Von Koren, “and I just wanted to say goodbye.”
She held out her hand uncertainly, while Laevsky bowed.
She hesitantly extended her hand as Laevsky bowed.
“What pitiful figures they are, though!” thought Von Koren. “The life they are living does not come easy to them. I shall be in Moscow and Petersburg; can I send you anything?” he asked.
“What pitiful figures they are, though!” thought Von Koren. “The life they are living doesn’t come easy for them. I’ll be in Moscow and Petersburg; can I send you anything?” he asked.
“Oh!” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and she looked anxiously at her husband. “I don’t think there’s anything. . . .”
“Oh!” said Nadyezhda Fyodorovna, and she looked worriedly at her husband. “I don’t think there’s anything. . . .”
“No, nothing . . .” said Laevsky, rubbing his hands. “Our greetings.”
“No, nothing . . .” said Laevsky, rubbing his hands. “Our greetings.”
Von Koren did not know what he could or ought to say, though as he went in he thought he would say a very great deal that would be warm and good and important. He shook hands with Laevsky and his wife in silence, and left them with a depressed feeling.
Von Koren wasn’t sure what he should say or could say, even though he thought he would express a lot of warm, kind, and significant things as he entered. He shook hands with Laevsky and his wife in silence, leaving them feeling down.
“What people!” said the deacon in a low voice, as he walked behind them. “My God, what people! Of a truth, the right hand of God has planted this vine! Lord! Lord! One man vanquishes thousands and another tens of thousands. Nikolay Vassilitch,” he said ecstatically, “let me tell you that to-day you have conquered the greatest of man’s enemies—pride.”
“What people!” the deacon said quietly as he walked behind them. “My God, what people! Truly, the right hand of God has planted this vine! Lord! Lord! One man defeats thousands and another tens of thousands. Nikolay Vassilitch,” he said excitedly, “let me tell you that today you have conquered the greatest of man's enemies—pride.”
“Hush, deacon! Fine conquerors we are! Conquerors ought to look like eagles, while he’s a pitiful figure, timid, crushed; he bows like a Chinese idol, and I, I am sad. . . .”
“Hush, deacon! What great victors we are! Victors should look like eagles, while he’s just a sad sight, scared and beaten down; he bends like a Chinese idol, and I, I feel so down…”
They heard steps behind them. It was Laevsky, hurrying after them to see him off. The orderly was standing on the quay with the two portmanteaus, and at a little distance stood four boatmen.
They heard footsteps behind them. It was Laevsky, rushing to catch up with them to say goodbye. The orderly was standing on the dock with the two suitcases, and a short distance away stood four boatmen.
“There is a wind, though. . . . Brrr!” said Samoylenko. “There must be a pretty stiff storm on the sea now! You are not going off at a nice time, Koyla.”
“There’s a wind, though. . . . Brrr!” said Samoylenko. “There must be a pretty strong storm at sea right now! You’re not leaving at a good time, Koyla.”
“I’m not afraid of sea-sickness.”
“I’m not scared of sea sickness.”
“That’s not the point. . . . I only hope these rascals won’t upset you. You ought to have crossed in the agent’s sloop. Where’s the agent’s sloop?” he shouted to the boatmen.
"That’s not the point... I just hope these troublemakers won’t bother you. You should have taken the agent’s sloop. Where’s the agent’s sloop?" he yelled to the boatmen.
“It has gone, Your Excellency.”
“It's gone, Your Excellency.”
“And the Customs-house boat?”
"And the customs boat?"
“That’s gone, too.”
"That’s gone now."
“Why didn’t you let us know,” said Samoylenko angrily. “You dolts!”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Samoylenko said angrily. “You idiots!”
“It’s all the same, don’t worry yourself . . .” said Von Koren. “Well, good-bye. God keep you.”
“It’s all the same, don’t stress about it . . .” said Von Koren. “Well, take care. God bless you.”
Samoylenko embraced Von Koren and made the sign of the cross over him three times.
Samoylenko hugged Von Koren and crossed himself three times.
“Don’t forget us, Kolya. . . . Write. . . . We shall look out for you next spring.”
“Don’t forget us, Kolya... Write... We’ll be looking for you next spring.”
“Good-bye, deacon,” said Von Koren, shaking hands with the deacon. “Thank you for your company and for your pleasant conversation. Think about the expedition.”
“Goodbye, deacon,” said Von Koren, shaking hands with the deacon. “Thanks for your company and the nice conversation. Think about the expedition.”
“Oh Lord, yes! to the ends of the earth,” laughed the deacon. “I’ve nothing against it.”
“Oh Lord, yes! to the ends of the earth,” laughed the deacon. “I’ve got nothing against it.”
Von Koren recognised Laevsky in the darkness, and held out his hand without speaking. The boatmen were by now below, holding the boat, which was beating against the piles, though the breakwater screened it from the breakers. Von Koren went down the ladder, jumped into the boat, and sat at the helm.
Von Koren spotted Laevsky in the darkness and reached out his hand without saying anything. The boatmen were already down below, holding the boat, which was bumping against the piles, even though the breakwater protected it from the waves. Von Koren climbed down the ladder, jumped into the boat, and took his place at the helm.
“Write!” Samoylenko shouted to him. “Take care of yourself.”
“Write!” Samoylenko yelled at him. “Look after yourself.”
“No one knows the real truth,” thought Laevsky, turning up the collar of his coat and thrusting his hands into his sleeves.
“No one knows the real truth,” thought Laevsky, pulling up the collar of his coat and tucking his hands into his sleeves.
The boat turned briskly out of the harbour into the open sea. It vanished in the waves, but at once from a deep hollow glided up onto a high breaker, so that they could distinguish the men and even the oars. The boat moved three yards forward and was sucked two yards back.
The boat quickly steered out of the harbor into the open sea. It disappeared in the waves, but immediately emerged from a deep dip onto a tall wave, allowing them to see the men and even the oars. The boat moved three yards forward and was pulled two yards back.
“Write!” shouted Samoylenko; “it’s devilish weather for you to go in.”
“Write!” shouted Samoylenko; “it’s terrible weather for you to go outside.”
“Yes, no one knows the real truth . . .” thought Laevsky, looking wearily at the dark, restless sea.
“Yeah, no one knows the real truth . . .” thought Laevsky, looking tiredly at the dark, restless sea.
“It flings the boat back,” he thought; “she makes two steps forward and one step back; but the boatmen are stubborn, they work the oars unceasingly, and are not afraid of the high waves. The boat goes on and on. Now she is out of sight, but in half an hour the boatmen will see the steamer lights distinctly, and within an hour they will be by the steamer ladder. So it is in life. . . . In the search for truth man makes two steps forward and one step back. Suffering, mistakes, and weariness of life thrust them back, but the thirst for truth and stubborn will drive them on and on. And who knows? Perhaps they will reach the real truth at last.”
“It pushes the boat back,” he thought; “she takes two steps forward and one step back; but the boatmen are determined, they keep rowing tirelessly, and aren’t scared of the big waves. The boat keeps going. Now it’s out of sight, but in half an hour, the boatmen will see the steamer lights clearly, and within an hour, they’ll be at the steamer ladder. It’s just like life… In the search for truth, people take two steps forward and one step back. Pain, mistakes, and the weariness of life hold them back, but the desire for truth and their stubbornness push them forward. And who knows? Maybe they’ll finally find the real truth.”
“Go—o—od-by—e,” shouted Samoylenko.
“Goodbye,” shouted Samoylenko.
“There’s no sight or sound of them,” said the deacon. “Good luck on the journey!”
“There’s no sight or sound of them,” said the deacon. “Good luck on your journey!”
It began to spot with rain.
It started to rain lightly.
EXCELLENT PEOPLE
ONCE upon a time there lived in Moscow a man called Vladimir Semyonitch Liadovsky. He took his degree at the university in the faculty of law and had a post on the board of management of some railway; but if you had asked him what his work was, he would look candidly and openly at you with his large bright eyes through his gold pincenez, and would answer in a soft, velvety, lisping baritone:
Once upon a time, there was a man named Vladimir Semyonitch Liadovsky living in Moscow. He graduated from university with a law degree and held a position on the management board of a railway company. But if you asked him what his job was, he would look at you sincerely with his large, bright eyes behind his gold pince-nez and reply in a gentle, smooth, lisping baritone:
“My work is literature.”
"My work is writing."
After completing his course at the university, Vladimir Semyonitch had had a paragraph of theatrical criticism accepted by a newspaper. From this paragraph he passed on to reviewing, and a year later he had advanced to writing a weekly article on literary matters for the same paper. But it does not follow from these facts that he was an amateur, that his literary work was of an ephemeral, haphazard character. Whenever I saw his neat spare figure, his high forehead and long mane of hair, when I listened to his speeches, it always seemed to me that his writing, quite apart from what and how he wrote, was something organically part of him, like the beating of his heart, and that his whole literary programme must have been an integral part of his brain while he was a baby in his mother’s womb. Even in his walk, his gestures, his manner of shaking off the ash from his cigarette, I could read this whole programme from A to Z, with all its claptrap, dulness, and honourable sentiments. He was a literary man all over when with an inspired face he laid a wreath on the coffin of some celebrity, or with a grave and solemn face collected signatures for some address; his passion for making the acquaintance of distinguished literary men, his faculty for finding talent even where it was absent, his perpetual enthusiasm, his pulse that went at one hundred and twenty a minute, his ignorance of life, the genuinely feminine flutter with which he threw himself into concerts and literary evenings for the benefit of destitute students, the way in which he gravitated towards the young—all this would have created for him the reputation of a writer even if he had not written his articles.
After finishing his degree at university, Vladimir Semyonitch got a piece of theatrical criticism published in a newspaper. From that piece, he moved on to reviews, and a year later, he was writing a weekly article on literary topics for the same publication. However, this doesn't mean he was just an amateur or that his writing was insignificant or random. Whenever I saw his tidy, lean figure, his high forehead, and long hair; whenever I listened to him speak, it always seemed to me that his writing was an essential part of him, like his heartbeat, and that his entire literary vision must have been formed in his mind even before he was born. Even in the way he walked, his gestures, and how he brushed the ash off his cigarette, I could see this entire vision, complete with all its nonsense, dullness, and noble sentiments. He embodied a literary persona, whether he was passionately laying a wreath on a famous person's coffin or solemnly gathering signatures for a petition; his eagerness to connect with notable writers, his talent for spotting skill even where it wasn’t present, his constant enthusiasm, his heart racing at a hundred and twenty beats per minute, his naivety about life, the genuinely emotional way he engaged in benefit concerts and literary nights for struggling students, and his tendency to gravitate toward young people—all of this would have earned him a reputation as a writer even if he hadn’t written his articles.
He was one of those writers to whom phrases like, “We are but few,” or “What would life be without strife? Forward!” were pre-eminently becoming, though he never strove with any one and never did go forward. It did not even sound mawkish when he fell to discoursing of ideals. Every anniversary of the university, on St. Tatiana’s Day, he got drunk, chanted Gaudeamus out of tune, and his beaming and perspiring countenance seemed to say: “See, I’m drunk; I’m keeping it up!” But even that suited him.
He was one of those writers who resonated with phrases like, “We are few,” or “What would life be without challenges? Let’s move forward!” even though he never really engaged with anyone and never actually moved forward. It didn’t even sound cheesy when he started talking about ideals. Every year on St. Tatiana’s Day, the anniversary of the university, he would get drunk, sing Gaudeamus out of tune, and his beaming, sweaty face seemed to say: “Look, I’m drunk; I’m keeping the party going!” But even that suited him.
Vladimir Semyonitch had genuine faith in his literary vocation and his whole programme. He had no doubts, and was evidently very well pleased with himself. Only one thing grieved him—the paper for which he worked had a limited circulation and was not very influential. But Vladimir Semyonitch believed that sooner or later he would succeed in getting on to a solid magazine where he would have scope and could display himself—and what little distress he felt on this score was pale beside the brilliance of his hopes.
Vladimir Semyonitch truly believed in his writing career and his entire mission. He had no doubts and was clearly very proud of himself. The only thing that bothered him was that the paper he worked for had a small circulation and wasn’t very influential. However, Vladimir Semyonitch was confident that sooner or later he would manage to get into a reputable magazine where he could truly express himself—and any minor concern he had about this was overshadowed by the brightness of his hopes.
Visiting this charming man, I made the acquaintance of his sister, Vera Semyonovna, a woman doctor. At first sight, what struck me about this woman was her look of exhaustion and extreme ill-health. She was young, with a good figure and regular, rather large features, but in comparison with her agile, elegant, and talkative brother she seemed angular, listless, slovenly, and sullen. There was something strained, cold, apathetic in her movements, smiles, and words; she was not liked, and was thought proud and not very intelligent.
When I visited this charming man, I met his sister, Vera Semyonovna, who was a doctor. Right away, I noticed how exhausted and unwell she looked. She was young, with a good figure and distinct, somewhat large features, but next to her lively, stylish, and chatty brother, she seemed stiff, indifferent, disheveled, and moody. There was something tense, distant, and dispassionate in how she moved, smiled, and spoke; people didn’t like her and thought she was snobbish and not very bright.
In reality, I fancy, she was resting.
In reality, I think she was resting.
“My dear friend,” her brother would often say to me, sighing and flinging back his hair in his picturesque literary way, “one must never judge by appearances! Look at this book: it has long ago been read. It is warped, tattered, and lies in the dust uncared for; but open it, and it will make you weep and turn pale. My sister is like that book. Lift the cover and peep into her soul, and you will be horror-stricken. Vera passed in some three months through experiences that would have been ample for a whole lifetime!”
“My dear friend,” her brother would often say to me, sighing and tossing his hair back dramatically, “you should never judge by appearances! Look at this book: it has been read long ago. It’s bent, torn, and lies in the dust forgotten; but open it, and it will make you cry and feel faint. My sister is like that book. Lift the cover and glance into her soul, and you will be horrified. Vera went through experiences in just three months that would be enough for an entire lifetime!”
Vladimir Semyonitch looked round him, took me by the sleeve, and began to whisper:
Vladimir Semyonitch looked around, grabbed my sleeve, and started to whisper:
“You know, after taking her degree she married, for love, an architect. It’s a complete tragedy! They had hardly been married a month when—whew—her husband died of typhus. But that was not all. She caught typhus from him, and when, on her recovery, she learnt that her Ivan was dead, she took a good dose of morphia. If it had not been for vigorous measures taken by her friends, my Vera would have been by now in Paradise. Tell me, isn’t it a tragedy? And is not my sister like an ingénue, who has played already all the five acts of her life? The audience may stay for the farce, but the ingénue must go home to rest.”
“You know, after getting her degree, she married for love to an architect. It’s just so tragic! They were barely married for a month when—wow—her husband died of typhus. But that wasn't all. She caught typhus from him, and when she recovered and found out that her Ivan was dead, she took a big dose of morphine. If it hadn't been for the strong actions taken by her friends, my Vera would have already been in Paradise. Tell me, isn’t it a tragedy? And isn’t my sister like an ingénue, who has already played all five acts of her life? The audience can stick around for the farce, but the ingénue has to go home to rest.”
After three months of misery Vera Semyonovna had come to live with her brother. She was not fitted for the practice of medicine, which exhausted her and did not satisfy her; she did not give one the impression of knowing her subject, and I never once heard her say anything referring to her medical studies.
After three months of suffering, Vera Semyonovna had moved in with her brother. She wasn't suited for a career in medicine, which drained her and left her unfulfilled; she didn’t come across as someone who understood her field, and I never once heard her mention her medical studies.
She gave up medicine, and, silent and unoccupied, as though she were a prisoner, spent the remainder of her youth in colourless apathy, with bowed head and hanging hands. The only thing to which she was not completely indifferent, and which brought some brightness into the twilight of her life, was the presence of her brother, whom she loved. She loved him himself and his programme, she was full of reverence for his articles; and when she was asked what her brother was doing, she would answer in a subdued voice as though afraid of waking or distracting him: “He is writing. . . .” Usually when he was at his work she used to sit beside him, her eyes fixed on his writing hand. She used at such moments to look like a sick animal warming itself in the sun. . . .
She gave up medicine and, quiet and aimless, as if she were a prisoner, spent the rest of her youth in dull apathy, with her head down and hands hanging. The only thing that didn’t leave her completely indifferent and that brought some light into the gloom of her life was being with her brother, whom she loved. She loved him for who he was and for his work; she deeply admired his articles. When someone asked what her brother was doing, she would reply in a soft voice, almost as if she were afraid of waking or distracting him: “He is writing….” Usually, when he was working, she would sit beside him, her eyes fixed on his writing hand. In those moments, she looked like a sick animal basking in the sun…
One winter evening Vladimir Semyonitch was sitting at his table writing a critical article for his newspaper: Vera Semyonovna was sitting beside him, staring as usual at his writing hand. The critic wrote rapidly, without erasures or corrections. The pen scratched and squeaked. On the table near the writing hand there lay open a freshly-cut volume of a thick magazine, containing a story of peasant life, signed with two initials. Vladimir Semyonitch was enthusiastic; he thought the author was admirable in his handling of the subject, suggested Turgenev in his descriptions of nature, was truthful, and had an excellent knowledge of the life of the peasantry. The critic himself knew nothing of peasant life except from books and hearsay, but his feelings and his inner convictions forced him to believe the story. He foretold a brilliant future for the author, assured him he should await the conclusion of the story with great impatience, and so on.
One winter evening, Vladimir Semyonitch was sitting at his table writing a critical article for his newspaper, while Vera Semyonovna sat beside him, watching his writing hand as usual. The critic wrote quickly, without any mistakes or corrections. The pen scratched and squeaked against the paper. On the table next to him lay an open, freshly-cut volume of a thick magazine, which contained a story about peasant life, signed with two initials. Vladimir Semyonitch was excited; he thought the author handled the subject wonderfully, suggested Turgenev in his descriptions of nature, was honest, and had a great understanding of peasant life. The critic himself had no real experience with peasant life other than from books and hearsay, but his feelings and convictions led him to believe in the story. He predicted a bright future for the author and assured him he would wait eagerly for the story's conclusion, and so on.
“Fine story!” he said, flinging himself back in his chair and closing his eyes with pleasure. “The tone is extremely good.”
“Great story!” he said, throwing himself back in his chair and closing his eyes with enjoyment. “The vibe is really good.”
Vera Semyonovna looked at him, yawned aloud, and suddenly asked an unexpected question. In the evening she had a habit of yawning nervously and asking short, abrupt questions, not always relevant.
Vera Semyonovna looked at him, yawned loudly, and suddenly asked an unexpected question. In the evenings, she had a habit of yawning nervously and asking short, abrupt questions that weren’t always relevant.
“Volodya,” she asked, “what is the meaning of non-resistance to evil?”
“Volodya,” she asked, “what does it mean to not resist evil?”
“Non-resistance to evil!” repeated her brother, opening his eyes.
“Not resisting evil!” her brother repeated, opening his eyes.
“Yes. What do you understand by it?”
“Yes. What do you think it means?”
“You see, my dear, imagine that thieves or brigands attack you, and you, instead of . . .”
“You see, my dear, imagine that thieves or bandits attack you, and you, instead of . . .”
“No, give me a logical definition.”
“No, give me a clear definition.”
“A logical definition? Um! Well.” Vladimir Semyonitch pondered. “Non-resistance to evil means an attitude of non-interference with regard to all that in the sphere of mortality is called evil.”
“A logical definition? Um! Well.” Vladimir Semyonitch thought for a moment. “Not resisting evil means having an attitude of non-interference with everything that is considered evil in the realm of life.”
Saying this, Vladimir Semyonitch bent over the table and took up a novel. This novel, written by a woman, dealt with the painfulness of the irregular position of a society lady who was living under the same roof with her lover and her illegitimate child. Vladimir Semyonitch was pleased with the excellent tendency of the story, the plot and the presentation of it. Making a brief summary of the novel, he selected the best passages and added to them in his account: “How true to reality, how living, how picturesque! The author is not merely an artist; he is also a subtle psychologist who can see into the hearts of his characters. Take, for example, this vivid description of the emotions of the heroine on meeting her husband,” and so on.
Saying this, Vladimir Semyonitch leaned over the table and picked up a novel. This novel, written by a woman, explored the struggles of a society lady living under the same roof as her lover and her illegitimate child. Vladimir Semyonitch appreciated the strong themes of the story, the plot, and the way it was presented. He made a quick summary of the novel, highlighting the best parts and adding his thoughts: “How realistic, how vivid, how colorful! The author is not just an artist; she’s also a keen psychologist who understands the emotions of her characters. Take, for instance, this powerful description of the heroine's feelings when she encounters her husband,” and so on.
“Volodya,” Vera Semyonovna interrupted his critical effusions, “I’ve been haunted by a strange idea since yesterday. I keep wondering where we should all be if human life were ordered on the basis of non-resistance to evil?”
“Volodya,” Vera Semyonovna interrupted his critical rants, “I’ve been haunted by a strange thought since yesterday. I keep wondering where we would all be if human life were based on non-resistance to evil?”
“In all probability, nowhere. Non-resistance to evil would give the full rein to the criminal will, and, to say nothing of civilisation, this would leave not one stone standing upon another anywhere on earth.”
“In all likelihood, nowhere. Non-resistance to evil would completely unleash the criminal intent, and, to say nothing of civilization, this would leave not a single stone standing on another anywhere on earth.”
“What would be left?”
“What remains?”
“Bashi-Bazouke and brothels. In my next article I’ll talk about that perhaps. Thank you for reminding me.”
“Bashi-Bazouke and brothels. I might discuss that in my next article. Thanks for bringing it up.”
And a week later my friend kept his promise. That was just at the period—in the eighties—when people were beginning to talk and write of non-resistance, of the right to judge, to punish, to make war; when some people in our set were beginning to do without servants, to retire into the country, to work on the land, and to renounce animal food and carnal love.
And a week later my friend kept his promise. That was around the time—in the eighties—when people were starting to talk and write about non-resistance, the right to judge, to punish, and to go to war; when some people in our group were beginning to live without servants, move to the countryside, work the land, and give up meat and physical relationships.
After reading her brother’s article, Vera Semyonovna pondered and hardly perceptibly shrugged her shoulders.
After reading her brother’s article, Vera Semyonovna thought for a moment and slightly shrugged her shoulders.
“Very nice!” she said. “But still there’s a great deal I don’t understand. For instance, in Leskov’s story ‘Belonging to the Cathedral’ there is a queer gardener who sows for the benefit of all—for customers, for beggars, and any who care to steal. Did he behave sensibly?”
“Very nice!” she said. “But there are still a lot of things I don’t understand. For example, in Leskov’s story ‘Belonging to the Cathedral’ there’s a strange gardener who plants for everyone’s benefit—for customers, for beggars, and anyone who wants to steal. Did he act sensibly?”
From his sister’s tone and expression Vladimir Semyonitch saw that she did not like his article, and, almost for the first time in his life, his vanity as an author sustained a shock. With a shade of irritation he answered:
From his sister’s tone and expression, Vladimir Semyonitch could tell that she didn’t like his article, and for almost the first time in his life, his pride as a writer took a hit. Feeling a bit irritated, he replied:
“Theft is immoral. To sow for thieves is to recognise the right of thieves to existence. What would you think if I were to establish a newspaper and, dividing it into sections, provide for blackmailing as well as for liberal ideas? Following the example of that gardener, I ought, logically, to provide a section for blackmailers, the intellectual scoundrels? Yes.”
“Theft is wrong. Allowing thieves to thrive means accepting their right to exist. How would you feel if I started a newspaper and dedicated sections to both blackmail and progressive ideas? Following that gardener's logic, I should also include a section for blackmailers, those intellectual crooks? Yes.”
Vera Semyonovna made no answer. She got up from the table, moved languidly to the sofa and lay down.
Vera Semyonovna didn’t respond. She got up from the table, moved slowly to the sofa, and lay down.
“I don’t know, I know nothing about it,” she said musingly. “You are probably right, but it seems to me, I feel somehow, that there’s something false in our resistance to evil, as though there were something concealed or unsaid. God knows, perhaps our methods of resisting evil belong to the category of prejudices which have become so deeply rooted in us, that we are incapable of parting with them, and therefore cannot form a correct judgment of them.”
“I don’t know; I know nothing about it,” she said thoughtfully. “You’re probably right, but it seems to me, I somehow feel that there’s something off about our resistance to evil, as if there’s something hidden or unspoken. God knows, maybe our ways of fighting against evil are just deep-rooted prejudices that we can’t let go of, and because of that, we can’t see them clearly.”
“How do you mean?”
"What do you mean?"
“I don’t know how to explain to you. Perhaps man is mistaken in thinking that he is obliged to resist evil and has a right to do so, just as he is mistaken in thinking, for instance, that the heart looks like an ace of hearts. It is very possible in resisting evil we ought not to use force, but to use what is the very opposite of force—if you, for instance, don’t want this picture stolen from you, you ought to give it away rather than lock it up. . . .”
“I’m not sure how to explain this to you. Maybe people are wrong to think they have to fight against evil and that they have the right to do so, just like they’re wrong to believe, for example, that the heart looks like an ace of hearts. It’s very possible that in resisting evil, we shouldn’t use force, but should instead use the complete opposite of force—if, for instance, you don’t want this picture to be stolen from you, you should give it away instead of locking it up. . . .”
“That’s clever, very clever! If I want to marry a rich, vulgar woman, she ought to prevent me from such a shabby action by hastening to make me an offer herself!”
"That’s smart, really smart! If I want to marry a wealthy, tacky woman, she should stop me from doing something so cheap by quickly making me an offer herself!"
The brother and sister talked till midnight without understanding each other. If any outsider had overheard them he would hardly have been able to make out what either of them was driving at.
The brother and sister talked until midnight without really understanding each other. If anyone outside had overheard them, they would have struggled to figure out what either of them was trying to say.
They usually spent the evening at home. There were no friends’ houses to which they could go, and they felt no need for friends; they only went to the theatre when there was a new play—such was the custom in literary circles—they did not go to concerts, for they did not care for music.
They typically spent their evenings at home. There weren't any friends' houses to visit, and they didn't feel the need for friends; they only went to the theater when there was a new play—this was the norm in literary circles—they didn't attend concerts because they weren't interested in music.
“You may think what you like,” Vera Semyonovna began again the next day, “but for me the question is to a great extent settled. I am firmly convinced that I have no grounds for resisting evil directed against me personally. If they want to kill me, let them. My defending myself will not make the murderer better. All I have now to decide is the second half of the question: how I ought to behave to evil directed against my neighbours?”
“You can think whatever you want,” Vera Semyonovna started again the next day, “but for me, the issue is largely settled. I truly believe that I have no reason to fight back against the evil aimed at me personally. If they want to kill me, so be it. My self-defense won’t change the murderer. What I need to figure out now is the second part of the question: how should I respond to the evil directed at my neighbors?”
“Vera, mind you don’t become rabid!” said Vladimir Semyonitch, laughing. “I see non-resistance is becoming your idée fixe!”
“Vera, just don't go overboard!” said Vladimir Semyonitch, laughing. “I see that your non-resistance is becoming your idée fixe!”
He wanted to turn off these tedious conversations with a jest, but somehow it was beyond a jest; his smile was artificial and sour. His sister gave up sitting beside his table and gazing reverently at his writing hand, and he felt every evening that behind him on the sofa lay a person who did not agree with him. And his back grew stiff and numb, and there was a chill in his soul. An author’s vanity is vindictive, implacable, incapable of forgiveness, and his sister was the first and only person who had laid bare and disturbed that uneasy feeling, which is like a big box of crockery, easy to unpack but impossible to pack up again as it was before.
He wanted to shut down these boring conversations with a joke, but somehow it felt deeper than a joke; his smile came off as fake and bitter. His sister stopped sitting next to him at the table and staring admiringly at his writing hand, and every evening he felt a presence behind him on the sofa that didn’t agree with him. His back became stiff and numb, and he felt a chill in his soul. An author’s pride can be cruel, relentless, and unforgiving, and his sister was the first and only person who had exposed and unsettled that uneasy feeling, which is like a big box of dishes—easy to unpack but impossible to pack up again the way it was before.
Weeks and months passed by, and his sister clung to her ideas, and did not sit down by the table. One spring evening Vladimir Semyonitch was sitting at his table writing an article. He was reviewing a novel which described how a village schoolmistress refused the man whom she loved and who loved her, a man both wealthy and intellectual, simply because marriage made her work as a schoolmistress impossible. Vera Semyonovna lay on the sofa and brooded.
Weeks and months went by, and his sister held on to her ideas and didn’t sit down at the table. One spring evening, Vladimir Semyonitch was sitting at his table, writing an article. He was reviewing a novel that told the story of a village schoolteacher who turned down the man she loved—who loved her back—an intelligent, wealthy man, simply because marriage would make it impossible for her to continue her work as a schoolteacher. Vera Semyonovna was lying on the sofa, lost in thought.
“My God, how slow it is!” she said, stretching. “How insipid and empty life is! I don’t know what to do with myself, and you are wasting your best years in goodness knows what. Like some alchemist, you are rummaging in old rubbish that nobody wants. My God!”
“My God, how slow it is!” she said, stretching. “How dull and empty life is! I don’t know what to do with myself, and you are squandering your best years on who knows what. Like some alchemist, you’re digging through junk that nobody wants. My God!”
Vladimir Semyonitch dropped his pen and slowly looked round at his sister.
Vladimir Semyonitch dropped his pen and slowly glanced at his sister.
“It’s depressing to look at you!” said his sister. “Wagner in ‘Faust’ dug up worms, but he was looking for a treasure, anyway, and you are looking for worms for the sake of the worms.”
“It’s depressing to look at you!” his sister said. “Wagner in ‘Faust’ dug up worms, but he was at least looking for treasure, and you’re just looking for worms for the sake of worms.”
“That’s vague!”
"That's unclear!"
“Yes, Volodya; all these days I’ve been thinking, I’ve been thinking painfully for a long time, and I have come to the conclusion that you are hopelessly reactionary and conventional. Come, ask yourself what is the object of your zealous, conscientious work? Tell me, what is it? Why, everything has long ago been extracted that can be extracted from that rubbish in which you are always rummaging. You may pound water in a mortar and analyse it as long as you like, you’ll make nothing more of it than the chemists have made already. . . .”
“Yes, Volodya; for all these days, I’ve been thinking, I’ve been thinking painfully for a long time, and I’ve come to the conclusion that you are hopelessly stuck in your ways and conventional. Come on, ask yourself what the purpose of your diligent, careful work is. Tell me, what is it? Why, everything has already been taken from that junk you keep digging through. You can pound water in a mortar and analyze it as much as you want, but you won’t get anything more out of it than what the chemists have already figured out. . . .”
“Indeed!” drawled Vladimir Semyonitch, getting up. “Yes, all this is old rubbish because these ideas are eternal; but what do you consider new, then?”
“Absolutely!” Vladimir Semyonitch replied, standing up. “Yes, all this is outdated nonsense because these ideas are timeless; but what do you think is new, then?”
“You undertake to work in the domain of thought; it is for you to think of something new. It’s not for me to teach you.”
“You're committing to work in the realm of ideas; it's up to you to come up with something fresh. I'm not here to teach you.”
“Me—an alchemist!” the critic cried in wonder and indignation, screwing up his eyes ironically. “Art, progress—all that is alchemy?”
“Me—an alchemist!” the critic exclaimed in awe and disbelief, squinting his eyes mockingly. “Art, progress—all of that is alchemy?”
“You see, Volodya, it seems to me that if all you thinking people had set yourselves to solving great problems, all these little questions that you fuss about now would solve themselves by the way. If you go up in a balloon to see a town, you will incidentally, without any effort, see the fields and the villages and the rivers as well. When stearine is manufactured, you get glycerine as a by-product. It seems to me that contemporary thought has settled on one spot and stuck to it. It is prejudiced, apathetic, timid, afraid to take a wide titanic flight, just as you and I are afraid to climb on a high mountain; it is conservative.”
“You see, Volodya, it seems to me that if all you thinkers focused on solving big issues, all those little problems you worry about now would take care of themselves naturally. If you go up in a hot air balloon to look at a town, you’ll also see the fields, villages, and rivers without even trying. When they make stearin, glycerin comes out as a by-product. It seems to me that modern thought has settled in one place and hasn't moved. It's biased, indifferent, and timid, scared to take a bold leap, just like you and I are scared to climb a tall mountain; it’s stuck in its ways.”
Such conversations could not but leave traces. The relations of the brother and sister grew more and more strained every day. The brother became unable to work in his sister’s presence, and grew irritable when he knew his sister was lying on the sofa, looking at his back; while the sister frowned nervously and stretched when, trying to bring back the past, he attempted to share his enthusiasms with her. Every evening she complained of being bored, and talked about independence of mind and those who are in the rut of tradition. Carried away by her new ideas, Vera Semyonovna proved that the work that her brother was so engrossed in was conventional, that it was a vain effort of conservative minds to preserve what had already served its turn and was vanishing from the scene of action. She made no end of comparisons. She compared her brother at one time to an alchemist, then to a musty old Believer who would sooner die than listen to reason. By degrees there was a perceptible change in her manner of life, too. She was capable of lying on the sofa all day long doing nothing but think, while her face wore a cold, dry expression such as one sees in one-sided people of strong faith. She began to refuse the attentions of the servants, swept and tidied her own room, cleaned her own boots and brushed her own clothes. Her brother could not help looking with irritation and even hatred at her cold face when she went about her menial work. In that work, which was always performed with a certain solemnity, he saw something strained and false, he saw something both pharisaical and affected. And knowing he could not touch her by persuasion, he carped at her and teased her like a schoolboy.
Such conversations could not help but leave their mark. The relationship between the brother and sister became increasingly strained each day. The brother found it impossible to work with his sister around and became irritable whenever he knew she was lying on the sofa, watching him. Meanwhile, the sister would frown anxiously and stretch whenever he tried to share his passions with her, hoping to reminisce about the past. Every evening, she complained about being bored and talked about the importance of independent thought and those stuck in the rut of tradition. Excited by her new ideas, Vera Semyonovna declared that her brother's work was conventional, a futile attempt by conservative minds to hold on to what was already outdated and fading away. She made endless comparisons, likening her brother to an alchemist one moment and to a dusty old Believer who would rather die than consider new ideas the next. Gradually, there was a noticeable change in her way of life as well. She was capable of lying on the sofa all day, doing nothing but thinking, while wearing a cold, detached expression typical of unwaveringly one-sided people. She began to decline the help of the servants, cleaned and organized her own room, polished her own boots, and brushed her own clothes. Her brother couldn't help but feel irritation, even hatred, towards her cold demeanor as she carried out her menial tasks. In her work, which always had an air of seriousness, he saw something strained and insincere; it struck him as both hypocritical and pretentious. Since he knew he couldn't persuade her otherwise, he resorted to teasing her like a schoolboy.
“You won’t resist evil, but you resist my having servants!” he taunted her. “If servants are an evil, why do you oppose it? That’s inconsistent!”
“You won’t stand up to evil, but you’re against me having servants!” he mocked her. “If servants are bad, why do you fight it? That doesn’t make sense!”
He suffered, was indignant and even ashamed. He felt ashamed when his sister began doing odd things before strangers.
He felt hurt, frustrated, and even embarrassed. He felt embarrassed when his sister started acting strangely in front of strangers.
“It’s awful, my dear fellow,” he said to me in private, waving his hands in despair. “It seems that our ingénue has remained to play a part in the farce, too. She’s become morbid to the marrow of her bones! I’ve washed my hands of her, let her think as she likes; but why does she talk, why does she excite me? She ought to think what it means for me to listen to her. What I feel when in my presence she has the effrontery to support her errors by blasphemously quoting the teaching of Christ! It chokes me! It makes me hot all over to hear my sister propounding her doctrines and trying to distort the Gospel to suit her, when she purposely refrains from mentioning how the moneychangers were driven out of the Temple. That’s, my dear fellow, what comes of being half educated, undeveloped! That’s what comes of medical studies which provide no general culture!”
“It’s terrible, my friend,” he said to me privately, waving his hands in frustration. “It seems our ingénue has stuck around to play a part in this farce, too. She’s become twisted to her core! I’ve washed my hands of her, let her believe whatever she wants; but why does she talk, why does she get to me? She should consider what it means for me to hear her. What I feel when she has the audacity to back up her mistakes by misquoting the teachings of Christ! It makes me furious! It infuriates me to hear my sister pushing her ideas and trying to twist the Gospel to fit her narrative, while conveniently ignoring how the money changers were kicked out of the Temple. That’s, my friend, what happens when someone is half-educated and underdeveloped! That’s the result of medical studies that don’t provide any real cultural education!”
One day on coming home from the office, Vladimir Semyonitch found his sister crying. She was sitting on the sofa with her head bowed, wringing her hands, and tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. The critic’s good heart throbbed with pain. Tears fell from his eyes, too, and he longed to pet his sister, to forgive her, to beg her forgiveness, and to live as they used to before. . . . He knelt down and kissed her head, her hands, her shoulders. . . . She smiled, smiled bitterly, unaccountably, while he with a cry of joy jumped up, seized the magazine from the table and said warmly:
One day, when Vladimir Semyonitch came home from work, he found his sister crying. She was sitting on the sofa with her head down, wringing her hands, and tears were streaming down her cheeks. The critic's good heart ached with sorrow. Tears fell from his eyes, too, and he desperately wanted to comfort his sister, to forgive her, to ask for her forgiveness, and to return to how they used to be… He knelt down and kissed her head, her hands, her shoulders… She smiled, a bitter, inexplicable smile, while he, with a joyful cry, jumped up, grabbed the magazine from the table, and said warmly:
“Hurrah! We’ll live as we used to, Verotchka! With God’s blessing! And I’ve such a surprise for you here! Instead of celebrating the occasion with champagne, let us read it together! A splendid, wonderful thing!”
“Hurrah! We’ll live like we used to, Verotchka! With God’s blessing! And I’ve got such a surprise for you here! Instead of celebrating with champagne, let’s read it together! It’s something splendid and wonderful!”
“Oh, no, no!” cried Vera Semyonovna, pushing away the book in alarm. “I’ve read it already! I don’t want it, I don’t want it!”
“Oh, no, no!” cried Vera Semyonovna, pushing the book away in alarm. “I’ve read it already! I don’t want it, I don’t want it!”
“When did you read it?”
“When did you read this?”
“A year . . . two years ago. . . I read it long ago, and I know it, I know it!”
“A year... two years ago... I read it a long time ago, and I know it, I know it!”
“H’m! . . . You’re a fanatic!” her brother said coldly, flinging the magazine on to the table.
“Hm! . . . You’re obsessed!” her brother said coldly, throwing the magazine onto the table.
“No, you are a fanatic, not I! You!” And Vera Semyonovna dissolved into tears again. Her brother stood before her, looked at her quivering shoulders, and thought. He thought, not of the agonies of loneliness endured by any one who begins to think in a new way of their own, not of the inevitable sufferings of a genuine spiritual revolution, but of the outrage of his programme, the outrage to his author’s vanity.
“No, you’re the fanatic, not me! You!” And Vera Semyonovna broke down in tears again. Her brother stood in front of her, watching her trembling shoulders, deep in thought. He didn’t think about the pain of loneliness experienced by anyone who starts to see the world differently, nor the unavoidable struggles of a true spiritual awakening, but rather about the violation of his plans, the blow to his ego as an author.
From this time he treated his sister coldly, with careless irony, and he endured her presence in the room as one endures the presence of old women that are dependent on one. For her part, she left off disputing with him and met all his arguments, jeers, and attacks with a condescending silence which irritated him more than ever.
From this point on, he treated his sister coldly, with a casual sarcasm, and he put up with her being in the room like one tolerates the presence of elderly relatives who rely on you. Meanwhile, she stopped arguing with him and responded to all his points, taunts, and assaults with a dismissive silence that annoyed him even more.
One summer morning Vera Semyonovna, dressed for travelling with a satchel over her shoulder, went in to her brother and coldly kissed him on the forehead.
One summer morning, Vera Semyonovna, dressed for travel with a satchel slung over her shoulder, walked into her brother’s room and gave him a cold kiss on the forehead.
“Where are you going?” he asked with surprise.
“Where are you going?” he asked, surprised.
“To the province of N. to do vaccination work.” Her brother went out into the street with her.
“To the province of N. to do vaccination work.” Her brother stepped outside with her.
“So that’s what you’ve decided upon, you queer girl,” he muttered. “Don’t you want some money?”
“So that’s what you’ve chosen, you strange girl,” he muttered. “Don’t you want some money?”
“No, thank you. Good-bye.”
“No, thanks. Goodbye.”
The sister shook her brother’s hand and set off.
The sister shook her brother's hand and left.
“Why don’t you have a cab?” cried Vladimir Semyonitch.
“Why don’t you have a taxi?” shouted Vladimir Semyonitch.
She did not answer. Her brother gazed after her, watched her rusty-looking waterproof, the swaying of her figure as she slouched along, forced himself to sigh, but did not succeed in rousing a feeling of regret. His sister had become a stranger to him. And he was a stranger to her. Anyway, she did not once look round.
She didn’t reply. Her brother stared after her, watched her old waterproof jacket, the way she slouched as she walked, tried to sigh, but couldn’t manage to feel any regret. His sister had turned into a stranger to him. And he was a stranger to her. Anyway, she didn’t look back even once.
Going back to his room, Vladimir Semyonitch at once sat down to the table and began to work at his article.
Going back to his room, Vladimir Semyonitch immediately sat down at the table and started working on his article.
I never saw Vera Semyonovna again. Where she is now I do not know. And Vladimir Semyonitch went on writing his articles, laying wreaths on coffins, singing Gaudeamus, busying himself over the Mutual Aid Society of Moscow Journalists.
I never saw Vera Semyonovna again. I don’t know where she is now. Meanwhile, Vladimir Semyonitch continued writing his articles, laying wreaths on coffins, singing Gaudeamus, and getting involved with the Mutual Aid Society of Moscow Journalists.
He fell ill with inflammation of the lungs; he was ill in bed for three months—at first at home, and afterwards in the Golitsyn Hospital. An abscess developed in his knee. People said he ought to be sent to the Crimea, and began getting up a collection for him. But he did not go to the Crimea—he died. We buried him in the Vagankovsky Cemetery, on the left side, where artists and literary men are buried.
He got sick with pneumonia; he was in bed for three months—first at home, and later at Golitsyn Hospital. An abscess formed in his knee. People said he should be sent to Crimea and started a fundraiser for him. But he never made it to Crimea—he died. We buried him in Vagankovsky Cemetery, on the left side, where artists and writers are laid to rest.
One day we writers were sitting in the Tatars’ restaurant. I mentioned that I had lately been in the Vagankovsky Cemetery and had seen Vladimir Semyonitch’s grave there. It was utterly neglected and almost indistinguishable from the rest of the ground, the cross had fallen; it was necessary to collect a few roubles to put it in order.
One day, we writers were sitting in the Tatars’ restaurant. I mentioned that I had recently been to Vagankovsky Cemetery and had seen Vladimir Semyonitch’s grave there. It was completely neglected and almost blended in with the surrounding ground; the cross had fallen over. We needed to gather a few rubles to fix it up.
But they listened to what I said unconcernedly, made no answer, and I could not collect a farthing. No one remembered Vladimir Semyonitch. He was utterly forgotten.
But they listened to what I said without a care, gave no reply, and I couldn't gather a single penny. No one remembered Vladimir Semyonitch. He was completely forgotten.
MIRE
I
GRACEFULLY swaying in the saddle, a young man wearing the snow-white tunic of an officer rode into the great yard of the vodka distillery belonging to the heirs of M. E. Rothstein. The sun smiled carelessly on the lieutenant’s little stars, on the white trunks of the birch-trees, on the heaps of broken glass scattered here and there in the yard. The radiant, vigorous beauty of a summer day lay over everything, and nothing hindered the snappy young green leaves from dancing gaily and winking at the clear blue sky. Even the dirty and soot-begrimed appearance of the bricksheds and the stifling fumes of the distillery did not spoil the general good impression. The lieutenant sprang gaily out of the saddle, handed over his horse to a man who ran up, and stroking with his finger his delicate black moustaches, went in at the front door. On the top step of the old but light and softly carpeted staircase he was met by a maidservant with a haughty, not very youthful face. The lieutenant gave her his card without speaking.
GRACEFULLY swaying in the saddle, a young man dressed in a crisp white officer's tunic rode into the large yard of the vodka distillery owned by the heirs of M. E. Rothstein. The sun smiled down casually on the lieutenant’s insignia, on the white trunks of the birch trees, and on the piles of broken glass scattered around the yard. The vibrant beauty of a summer day enveloped everything, and nothing stopped the fresh green leaves from dancing joyfully and winking at the clear blue sky. Even the dirty, soot-stained appearance of the brick buildings and the oppressive fumes from the distillery didn’t tarnish the overall positive impression. The lieutenant jumped off his horse with enthusiasm, handed it over to a man who rushed over, and, stroking his delicate black mustache with his finger, walked through the front door. At the top of the old but light and softly carpeted staircase, he was met by a maid with a haughty, not very youthful face. The lieutenant silently handed her his card.
As she went through the rooms with the card, the maid could see on it the name “Alexandr Grigoryevitch Sokolsky.” A minute later she came back and told the lieutenant that her mistress could not see him, as she was not feeling quite well. Sokolsky looked at the ceiling and thrust out his lower lip.
As she walked through the rooms with the card, the maid noticed the name “Alexandr Grigoryevitch Sokolsky” on it. A minute later, she returned and told the lieutenant that her mistress couldn’t see him because she wasn’t feeling well. Sokolsky stared at the ceiling and pouted.
“How vexatious!” he said. “Listen, my dear,” he said eagerly. “Go and tell Susanna Moiseyevna, that it is very necessary for me to speak to her—very. I will only keep her one minute. Ask her to excuse me.”
“How annoying!” he said. “Listen, my dear,” he said eagerly. “Go and tell Susanna Moiseyevna that I really need to speak with her—really. I’ll only take a minute. Please ask her to forgive me.”
The maid shrugged one shoulder and went off languidly to her mistress.
The maid shrugged one shoulder and walked slowly to her boss.
“Very well!” she sighed, returning after a brief interval. “Please walk in!”
“Alright!” she sighed, coming back after a short moment. “Please come in!”
The lieutenant went with her through five or six large, luxuriously furnished rooms and a corridor, and finally found himself in a large and lofty square room, in which from the first step he was impressed by the abundance of flowers and plants and the sweet, almost revoltingly heavy fragrance of jasmine. Flowers were trained to trellis-work along the walls, screening the windows, hung from the ceiling, and were wreathed over the corners, so that the room was more like a greenhouse than a place to live in. Tits, canaries, and goldfinches chirruped among the green leaves and fluttered against the window-panes.
The lieutenant walked with her through five or six spacious, elegantly furnished rooms and a hallway, eventually arriving in a large, high square room. From the moment he stepped inside, he was struck by the abundance of flowers and plants along with the sweet, almost overwhelmingly heavy scent of jasmine. Flowers were trained to climb trellis-work along the walls, covering the windows, hanging from the ceiling, and draped over the corners, making the room feel more like a greenhouse than a living space. Tits, canaries, and goldfinches chirped among the lush green leaves and flitted against the window panes.
“Forgive me for receiving you here,” the lieutenant heard in a mellow feminine voice with a burr on the letter r which was not without charm. “Yesterday I had a sick headache, and I’m trying to keep still to prevent its coming on again. What do you want?”
“Sorry for having you here,” the lieutenant heard in a soft feminine voice that had a charming way of pronouncing the letter r. “I had a headache yesterday, and I'm trying to stay quiet to keep it from coming back. What do you need?”
Exactly opposite the entrance, he saw sitting in a big low chair, such as old men use, a woman in an expensive Chinese dressing-gown, with her head wrapped up, leaning back on a pillow. Nothing could be seen behind the woollen shawl in which she was muffled but a pale, long, pointed, somewhat aquiline nose, and one large dark eye. Her ample dressing-gown concealed her figure, but judging from her beautiful hand, from her voice, her nose, and her eye, she might be twenty-six or twenty-eight.
Right opposite the entrance, he saw a woman sitting in a big, low chair, like the kind older people use, wearing a fancy Chinese robe, with her head wrapped up, leaning back on a pillow. The only thing visible behind the wool shawl that she was wrapped in was a pale, long, pointed, somewhat hooked nose, and one large dark eye. Her flowing robe hid her figure, but based on her lovely hand, her voice, her nose, and her eye, she could have been around twenty-six or twenty-eight.
“Forgive me for being so persistent . . .” began the lieutenant, clinking his spurs. “Allow me to introduce myself: Sokolsky! I come with a message from my cousin, your neighbour, Alexey Ivanovitch Kryukov, who . . .”
“Sorry for being so insistent . . .” the lieutenant started, jingling his spurs. “Let me introduce myself: Sokolsky! I’m here with a message from my cousin, your neighbor, Alexey Ivanovitch Kryukov, who . . .”
“I know!” interposed Susanna Moiseyevna. “I know Kryukov. Sit down; I don’t like anything big standing before me.”
“I know!” interrupted Susanna Moiseyevna. “I know Kryukov. Sit down; I don’t like anything large in front of me.”
“My cousin charges me to ask you a favour,” the lieutenant went on, clinking his spurs once more and sitting down. “The fact is, your late father made a purchase of oats from my cousin last winter, and a small sum was left owing. The payment only becomes due next week, but my cousin begs you most particularly to pay him—if possible, to-day.”
“My cousin wants me to ask you a favor,” the lieutenant continued, jingling his spurs again before sitting down. “The thing is, your late father bought oats from my cousin last winter, and there’s a small amount still owed. The payment isn’t due until next week, but my cousin kindly asks you to pay him—if possible, today.”
As the lieutenant talked, he stole side-glances about him.
As the lieutenant spoke, he casually glanced around.
“Surely I’m not in her bedroom?” he thought.
“There's no way I'm in her bedroom,” he thought.
In one corner of the room, where the foliage was thickest and tallest, under a pink awning like a funeral canopy, stood a bed not yet made, with the bedclothes still in disorder. Close by on two arm-chairs lay heaps of crumpled feminine garments. Petticoats and sleeves with rumpled lace and flounces were trailing on the carpet, on which here and there lay bits of white tape, cigarette-ends, and the papers of caramels. . . . Under the bed the toes, pointed and square, of slippers of all kinds peeped out in a long row. And it seemed to the lieutenant that the scent of the jasmine came not from the flowers, but from the bed and the slippers.
In one corner of the room, where the plants were thickest and tallest, under a pink awning that resembled a funeral canopy, sat an unmade bed with disheveled bedclothes. Nearby, on two armchairs, were piles of wrinkled women's clothes. Petticoats and sleeves with rumpled lace and frills trailed on the carpet, which also had bits of white tape, cigarette butts, and candy wrappers scattered about. Under the bed, the pointed and square toes of all kinds of slippers peeked out in a long row. The lieutenant thought the scent of jasmine came not from the flowers, but from the bed and the slippers.
“And what is the sum owing?” asked Susanna Moiseyevna.
“And what’s the total amount due?” asked Susanna Moiseyevna.
“Two thousand three hundred.”
"2,300."
“Oho!” said the Jewess, showing another large black eye. “And you call that—a small sum! However, it’s just the same paying it to-day or paying it in a week, but I’ve had so many payments to make in the last two months since my father’s death. . . . Such a lot of stupid business, it makes my head go round! A nice idea! I want to go abroad, and they keep forcing me to attend to these silly things. Vodka, oats . . .” she muttered, half closing her eyes, “oats, bills, percentages, or, as my head-clerk says, ‘percentage.’ . . . It’s awful. Yesterday I simply turned the excise officer out. He pesters me with his Tralles. I said to him: ‘Go to the devil with your Tralles! I can’t see any one!’ He kissed my hand and went away. I tell you what: can’t your cousin wait two or three months?”
“Oho!” said the Jewish woman, revealing another big black eye. “And you call that a small amount! Well, it’s the same whether I pay it today or pay it in a week, but I've had so many payments to deal with in the last two months since my father died. . . . So much pointless business, it’s making my head spin! What a nice idea! I want to go abroad, and they keep forcing me to take care of these ridiculous things. Vodka, oats . . .” she muttered, half closing her eyes, “oats, bills, percentages, or, as my head clerk says, ‘percentage.’ . . . It’s terrible. Yesterday I simply kicked the excise officer out. He keeps bugging me with his Tralles. I told him: ‘Go to hell with your Tralles! I can’t see anyone!’ He kissed my hand and left. I’ll tell you this: can’t your cousin wait two or three months?”
“A cruel question!” laughed the lieutenant. “My cousin can wait a year, but it’s I who cannot wait! You see, it’s on my own account I’m acting, I ought to tell you. At all costs I must have money, and by ill-luck my cousin hasn’t a rouble to spare. I’m forced to ride about and collect debts. I’ve just been to see a peasant, our tenant; here I’m now calling on you; from here I shall go on to somewhere else, and keep on like that until I get together five thousand roubles. I need money awfully!”
“A tough question!” laughed the lieutenant. “My cousin can wait a year, but I can't! You see, I'm doing this for myself, I should mention. I absolutely need cash, and unfortunately, my cousin doesn’t have a ruble to spare. I’m forced to ride around collecting debts. I just visited a peasant, our tenant; now I'm here with you; from here, I’m heading somewhere else, and I’ll keep going like that until I gather five thousand rubles. I really need the money!”
“Nonsense! What does a young man want with money? Whims, mischief. Why, have you been going in for dissipation? Or losing at cards? Or are you getting married?”
“Nonsense! What does a young guy want with money? Just for fun or trouble. So, have you been partying too much? Losing at poker? Or are you getting hitched?”
“You’ve guessed!” laughed the lieutenant, and rising slightly from his seat, he clinked his spurs. “I really am going to be married.”
“You’ve guessed it!” laughed the lieutenant, and lifting himself slightly from his seat, he jingled his spurs. “I’m really getting married.”
Susanna Moiseyevna looked intently at her visitor, made a wry face, and sighed.
Susanna Moiseyevna stared closely at her visitor, made a grimace, and sighed.
“I can’t make out what possesses people to get married!” she said, looking about her for her pocket-handkerchief. “Life is so short, one has so little freedom, and they must put chains on themselves!”
“I can’t understand why people feel the need to get married!” she said, looking around for her pocket handkerchief. “Life is so short, we have so little freedom, and they have to bind themselves!”
“Every one has his own way of looking at things. . . .”
“Everyone has their own way of seeing things. . . .”
“Yes, yes, of course; every one has his own way of looking at things . . . . But, I say, are you really going to marry some one poor? Are you passionately in love? And why must you have five thousand? Why won’t four do, or three?”
“Yes, yes, of course; everyone has their own perspective on things . . . . But, I mean, are you really planning to marry someone who’s poor? Are you truly in love? And why do you need five thousand? Can’t four work, or even three?”
“What a tongue she has!” thought the lieutenant, and answered: “The difficulty is that an officer is not allowed by law to marry till he is twenty-eight; if you choose to marry, you have to leave the Service or else pay a deposit of five thousand.”
“What a sharp tongue she has!” thought the lieutenant, and replied: “The problem is that an officer isn't allowed by law to marry until he’s twenty-eight; if you want to get married, you either have to leave the Service or pay a deposit of five thousand.”
“Ah, now I understand. Listen. You said just now that every one has his own way of looking at things. . . . Perhaps your fiancée is some one special and remarkable, but . . . but I am utterly unable to understand how any decent man can live with a woman. I can’t for the life of me understand it. I have lived, thank the Lord, twenty-seven years, and I have never yet seen an endurable woman. They’re all affected minxes, immoral, liars. . . . The only ones I can put up with are cooks and housemaids, but so-called ladies I won’t let come within shooting distance of me. But, thank God, they hate me and don’t force themselves on me! If one of them wants money she sends her husband, but nothing will induce her to come herself, not from pride—no, but from cowardice; she’s afraid of my making a scene. Oh, I understand their hatred very well! Rather! I openly display what they do their very utmost to conceal from God and man. How can they help hating me? No doubt you’ve heard bushels of scandal about me already. . . .”
“Ah, now I get it. Listen. You just said that everyone has their own perspective on things. . . . Maybe your fiancée is someone special and extraordinary, but . . . I just can’t wrap my head around how any decent man can be with a woman. I honestly don’t understand it. I’ve lived, thank God, for twenty-seven years, and I’ve never met a woman I could tolerate. They’re all pretentious brats, immoral, liars. . . . The only ones I can stand are cooks and housekeepers, but I won’t let so-called ladies come anywhere near me. Luckily, they dislike me and stay away! If one of them needs money, she sends her husband, but there’s no way she’s coming by herself, not out of pride—no, it’s out of fear; she’s scared I’ll make a scene. Oh, I totally get their hatred! Absolutely! I openly show what they desperately try to hide from God and everyone else. How can they not hate me? I’m sure you’ve heard plenty of rumors about me already. . . .”
“I only arrived here so lately . . .”
“I just got here not too long ago . . .”
“Tut, tut, tut! . . . I see from your eyes! But your brother’s wife, surely she primed you for this expedition? Think of letting a young man come to see such an awful woman without warning him—how could she? Ha, ha! . . . But tell me, how is your brother? He’s a fine fellow, such a handsome man! . . . I’ve seen him several times at mass. Why do you look at me like that? I very often go to church! We all have the same God. To an educated person externals matter less than the idea. . . . That’s so, isn’t it?”
“Tut, tut, tut! . . . I can see it in your eyes! But your brother’s wife, did she really prepare you for this visit? How could she let a young man see such an awful woman without giving him a heads up? Ha, ha! . . . But seriously, how is your brother? He’s a great guy, such a handsome man! . . . I’ve seen him a few times at church. Why are you looking at me like that? I go to church quite often! We all share the same God. For an educated person, looks matter less than the idea. . . . That’s true, right?”
“Yes, of course . . .” smiled the lieutenant.
“Yes, of course . . .” smiled the lieutenant.
“Yes, the idea. . . . But you are not a bit like your brother. You are handsome, too, but your brother is a great deal better-looking. There’s wonderfully little likeness!”
“Yes, the idea… But you don't resemble your brother at all. You’re good-looking, too, but your brother is a lot better-looking. There’s very little similarity!”
“That’s quite natural; he’s not my brother, but my cousin.”
“That’s totally understandable; he’s not my brother, he’s my cousin.”
“Ah, to be sure! So you must have the money to-day? Why to-day?”
“Ah, for sure! So you must have the money today? Why today?”
“My furlough is over in a few days.”
"My time off is over in a few days."
“Well, what’s to be done with you!” sighed Susanna Moiseyevna. “So be it. I’ll give you the money, though I know you’ll abuse me for it afterwards. You’ll quarrel with your wife after you are married, and say: ‘If that mangy Jewess hadn’t given me the money, I should perhaps have been as free as a bird to-day!’ Is your fiancée pretty?”
“Well, what should I do with you!” sighed Susanna Moiseyevna. “Alright then. I’ll give you the money, even though I know you’ll blame me for it later. You’ll argue with your wife after you’re married and say: ‘If that nasty Jewess hadn’t given me the money, I might have been as free as a bird today!’ Is your fiancée pretty?”
“Oh yes. . . .”
“Oh yeah. . . .”
“H’m! . . . Anyway, better something, if it’s only beauty, than nothing. Though however beautiful a woman is, it can never make up to her husband for her silliness.”
“H’m! . . . Anyway, better to have something, even if it’s just beauty, than nothing at all. Although no matter how beautiful a woman is, it will never make up to her husband for her foolishness.”
“That’s original!” laughed the lieutenant. “You are a woman yourself, and such a woman-hater!”
“That's original!” the lieutenant laughed. “You're a woman yourself, and such a woman-hater!”
“A woman . . .” smiled Susanna. “It’s not my fault that God has cast me into this mould, is it? I’m no more to blame for it than you are for having moustaches. The violin is not responsible for the choice of its case. I am very fond of myself, but when any one reminds me that I am a woman, I begin to hate myself. Well, you can go away, and I’ll dress. Wait for me in the drawing-room.”
“A woman . . .” Susanna smiled. “It’s not my fault that God made me this way, right? I’m no more to blame for it than you are for having a mustache. The violin isn’t responsible for the case it comes in. I like who I am, but when someone points out that I’m a woman, I start to feel ashamed of it. Well, you can leave, and I’ll get ready. Wait for me in the living room.”
The lieutenant went out, and the first thing he did was to draw a deep breath, to get rid of the heavy scent of jasmine, which had begun to irritate his throat and to make him feel giddy.
The lieutenant stepped outside, and the first thing he did was take a deep breath to clear the strong smell of jasmine that had started to irritate his throat and make him feel lightheaded.
“What a strange woman!” he thought, looking about him. “She talks fluently, but . . . far too much, and too freely. She must be neurotic.”
“What a strange woman!” he thought, looking around. “She talks a lot, but... way too much and too openly. She must be neurotic.”
The drawing-room, in which he was standing now, was richly furnished, and had pretensions to luxury and style. There were dark bronze dishes with patterns in relief, views of Nice and the Rhine on the tables, old-fashioned sconces, Japanese statuettes, but all this striving after luxury and style only emphasised the lack of taste which was glaringly apparent in the gilt cornices, the gaudy wall-paper, the bright velvet table-cloths, the common oleographs in heavy frames. The bad taste of the general effect was the more complete from the lack of finish and the overcrowding of the room, which gave one a feeling that something was lacking, and that a great deal should have been thrown away. It was evident that the furniture had not been bought all at once, but had been picked up at auctions and other favourable opportunities.
The drawing room where he was standing now was lavishly furnished and aimed to exude luxury and style. There were dark bronze dishes with raised patterns, pictures of Nice and the Rhine on the tables, old-fashioned wall sconces, and Japanese figurines. However, this attempt at luxury and style only highlighted the obvious lack of taste seen in the gold-trimmed cornices, the tacky wallpaper, the bright velvet tablecloths, and the cheap oleographs in heavy frames. The overall bad taste was even more pronounced due to the unfinished look and the clutter in the room, which made it feel like something was missing and that a lot of items should have been discarded. It was clear that the furniture hadn’t all been purchased at once but had been collected from auctions and other good deals.
Heaven knows what taste the lieutenant could boast of, but even he noticed one characteristic peculiarity about the whole place, which no luxury or style could efface—a complete absence of all trace of womanly, careful hands, which, as we all know, give a warmth, poetry, and snugness to the furnishing of a room. There was a chilliness about it such as one finds in waiting-rooms at stations, in clubs, and foyers at the theatres.
Heaven knows what taste the lieutenant had, but even he noticed one standout feature about the whole place that no luxury or style could change—a total lack of any signs of womanly, careful hands, which, as we all know, bring warmth, charm, and comfort to a room's decor. It felt cold, like waiting rooms at train stations, clubs, and theater lobbies.
There was scarcely anything in the room definitely Jewish, except, perhaps, a big picture of the meeting of Jacob and Esau. The lieutenant looked round about him, and, shrugging his shoulders, thought of his strange, new acquaintance, of her free-and-easy manners, and her way of talking. But then the door opened, and in the doorway appeared the lady herself, in a long black dress, so slim and tightly laced that her figure looked as though it had been turned in a lathe. Now the lieutenant saw not only the nose and eyes, but also a thin white face, a head black and as curly as lamb’s-wool. She did not attract him, though she did not strike him as ugly. He had a prejudice against un-Russian faces in general, and he considered, too, that the lady’s white face, the whiteness of which for some reason suggested the cloying scent of jasmine, did not go well with her little black curls and thick eyebrows; that her nose and ears were astoundingly white, as though they belonged to a corpse, or had been moulded out of transparent wax. When she smiled she showed pale gums as well as her teeth, and he did not like that either.
There was hardly anything in the room that seemed distinctly Jewish, except maybe a large picture of Jacob and Esau meeting. The lieutenant looked around and, shrugging his shoulders, thought about his unusual new acquaintance, her casual demeanor, and her way of speaking. Then the door opened, and the lady herself appeared in the doorway, wearing a long black dress that was so slim and tightly fitted it made her figure look as if it had been shaped on a lathe. Now the lieutenant could see not just her nose and eyes, but also a thin white face, with hair as black and curly as lamb’s wool. She didn't attract him, though he didn't find her ugly either. He had a bias against faces that didn't look Russian, and he thought the lady's pale face, which for some reason reminded him of a heavy jasmine scent, didn't match her little black curls and thick eyebrows; her nose and ears were shockingly white, as if they belonged to a corpse or were made from clear wax. When she smiled, she revealed pale gums along with her teeth, and he didn't like that either.
“Anæmic debility . . .” he thought; “she’s probably as nervous as a turkey.”
“Anemic weakness . . .” he thought; “she’s probably as nervous as a turkey.”
“Here I am! Come along!” she said, going on rapidly ahead of him and pulling off the yellow leaves from the plants as she passed.
“Here I am! Let’s go!” she said, quickly moving ahead of him and pulling off the yellow leaves from the plants as she walked by.
“I’ll give you the money directly, and if you like I’ll give you some lunch. Two thousand three hundred roubles! After such a good stroke of business you’ll have an appetite for your lunch. Do you like my rooms? The ladies about here declare that my rooms always smell of garlic. With that culinary gibe their stock of wit is exhausted. I hasten to assure you that I’ve no garlic even in the cellar. And one day when a doctor came to see me who smelt of garlic, I asked him to take his hat and go and spread his fragrance elsewhere. There is no smell of garlic here, but the place does smell of drugs. My father lay paralyzed for a year and a half, and the whole house smelt of medicine. A year and a half! I was sorry to lose him, but I’m glad he’s dead: he suffered so!”
“I’ll give you the money directly, and if you want, I’ll treat you to lunch. Two thousand three hundred rubles! After such a successful deal, you’ll definitely be hungry for lunch. Do you like my rooms? The ladies around here say they always smell like garlic. With that culinary joke, their wit has run out. I want to assure you that I don’t have any garlic, even in the cellar. One time a doctor came to see me who reeked of garlic, and I asked him to take his hat and go spread his scent somewhere else. There’s no garlic smell here, but the place does smell like medicine. My father was paralyzed for a year and a half, and the whole house smelled of drugs. A year and a half! I was sad to lose him, but I’m relieved he’s gone: he suffered so much!”
She led the officer through two rooms similar to the drawing-room, through a large reception hall, and came to a stop in her study, where there was a lady’s writing-table covered with little knick-knacks. On the carpet near it several books lay strewn about, opened and folded back. Through a small door leading from the study he saw a table laid for lunch.
She guided the officer through two rooms that looked like the drawing-room, across a spacious reception hall, and finally stopped in her study, which had a lady's writing desk cluttered with small trinkets. On the carpet nearby, several open books were scattered around, their pages folded back. Through a small door from the study, he could see a table set for lunch.
Still chatting, Susanna took out of her pocket a bunch of little keys and unlocked an ingeniously made cupboard with a curved, sloping lid. When the lid was raised the cupboard emitted a plaintive note which made the lieutenant think of an Æolian harp. Susanna picked out another key and clicked another lock.
Still chatting, Susanna pulled a bunch of small keys from her pocket and unlocked a cleverly designed cupboard with a curved, sloping lid. When she lifted the lid, the cupboard let out a soft, sad sound that made the lieutenant think of an Aeolian harp. Susanna found another key and clicked open another lock.
“I have underground passages here and secret doors,” she said, taking out a small morocco portfolio. “It’s a funny cupboard, isn’t it? And in this portfolio I have a quarter of my fortune. Look how podgy it is! You won’t strangle me, will you?”
“I have underground passages and secret doors here,” she said, pulling out a small leather portfolio. “It’s a quirky little cupboard, right? And in this portfolio, I have a quarter of my fortune. Look how chunky it is! You won’t try to strangle me, will you?”
Susanna raised her eyes to the lieutenant and laughed good-naturedly. The lieutenant laughed too.
Susanna looked up at the lieutenant and laughed cheerfully. The lieutenant joined in the laughter.
“She’s rather jolly,” he thought, watching the keys flashing between her fingers.
“She’s pretty cheerful,” he thought, watching the keys flashing between her fingers.
“Here it is,” she said, picking out the key of the portfolio. “Now, Mr. Creditor, trot out the IOU. What a silly thing money is really! How paltry it is, and yet how women love it! I am a Jewess, you know, to the marrow of my bones. I am passionately fond of Shmuls and Yankels, but how I loathe that passion for gain in our Semitic blood. They hoard and they don’t know what they are hoarding for. One ought to live and enjoy oneself, but they’re afraid of spending an extra farthing. In that way I am more like an hussar than a Shmul. I don’t like money to be kept long in one place. And altogether I fancy I’m not much like a Jewess. Does my accent give me away much, eh?”
“Here it is,” she said, pulling out the key to the portfolio. “Now, Mr. Creditor, show me the IOU. Money really is such a silly thing! It's so trivial, and yet women adore it! I’m a Jewess, you know, to the core of my being. I have a deep fondness for Shmuls and Yankels, but I really despise that obsession with wealth in our bloodline. They hoard and have no idea why they're hoarding. One should live and enjoy life, but they’re scared to spend even a little extra. In that way, I’m more like a hussar than a Shmul. I don’t like money sitting around in one place for too long. Honestly, I think I’m not very much like a typical Jewess. Does my accent give me away too much, huh?”
“What shall I say?” mumbled the lieutenant. “You speak good Russian, but you do roll your r’s.”
“What should I say?” mumbled the lieutenant. “You speak good Russian, but you do roll your r’s.”
Susanna laughed and put the little key in the lock of the portfolio. The lieutenant took out of his pocket a little roll of IOUs and laid them with a notebook on the table.
Susanna laughed and inserted the small key into the lock of the portfolio. The lieutenant pulled a small roll of IOUs from his pocket and placed them, along with a notebook, on the table.
“Nothing betrays a Jew as much as his accent,” Susanna went on, looking gaily at the lieutenant. “However much he twists himself into a Russian or a Frenchman, ask him to say ‘feather’ and he will say ‘fedder’ . . . but I pronounce it correctly: ‘Feather! feather! feather!’”
“Nothing gives away a Jew like their accent,” Susanna continued, smiling at the lieutenant. “No matter how much they try to sound like a Russian or a Frenchman, just ask them to say ‘feather’ and they’ll say ‘fedder’ . . . but I say it right: ‘Feather! feather! feather!’”
Both laughed.
They both laughed.
“By Jove, she’s very jolly!” thought Sokolsky.
"Wow, she’s really cheerful!" thought Sokolsky.
Susanna put the portfolio on a chair, took a step towards the lieutenant, and bringing her face close to his, went on gaily:
Susanna set the portfolio on a chair, stepped toward the lieutenant, and bringing her face close to his, continued playfully:
“Next to the Jews I love no people so much as the Russian and the French. I did not do much at school and I know no history, but it seems to me that the fate of the world lies in the hands of those two nations. I lived a long time abroad. . . . I spent six months in Madrid. . . . I’ve gazed my fill at the public, and the conclusion I’ve come to is that there are no decent peoples except the Russian and the French. Take the languages, for instance. . . . The German language is like the neighing of horses; as for the English . . . you can’t imagine anything stupider. Fight—feet—foot! Italian is only pleasant when they speak it slowly. If you listen to Italians gabbling, you get the effect of the Jewish jargon. And the Poles? Mercy on us! There’s no language so disgusting! ‘Nie pieprz, Pietrze, pieprzem wieprza bo mozeoz przepieprzyé wieprza pieprzem.’ That means: ‘Don’t pepper a sucking pig with pepper, Pyotr, or perhaps you’ll over-pepper the sucking pig with pepper.’ Ha, ha, ha!”
“Next to the Jews, I love no one as much as the Russians and the French. I didn’t do much in school and I don’t know much history, but it seems to me that the fate of the world is in the hands of those two nations. I lived abroad for a long time... I spent six months in Madrid... I’ve seen plenty of people, and the conclusion I’ve reached is that there are no decent people besides the Russians and the French. Take the languages, for example... The German language sounds like horses neighing; as for English... you can't imagine anything dumber. Fight—feet—foot! Italian is only nice when spoken slowly. When Italians are chatting fast, it reminds me of the Jewish dialect. And the Poles? Oh my! There’s no language more disgusting! ‘Nie pieprz, Pietrze, pieprzem wieprza bo mozeoz przepieprzyé wieprza pieprzem.’ That means: ‘Don’t pepper a suckling pig with pepper, Pyotr, or you might over-pepper the suckling pig with pepper.’ Ha, ha, ha!”
Susanna Moiseyevna rolled her eyes and broke into such a pleasant, infectious laugh that the lieutenant, looking at her, went off into a loud and merry peal of laughter. She took the visitor by the button, and went on:
Susanna Moiseyevna rolled her eyes and burst into such a cheerful, contagious laugh that the lieutenant, watching her, joined in with a loud and joyful laugh. She grabbed the visitor by the button and continued:
“You don’t like Jews, of course . . . they’ve many faults, like all nations. I don’t dispute that. But are the Jews to blame for it? No, it’s not the Jews who are to blame, but the Jewish women! They are narrow-minded, greedy; there’s no sort of poetry about them, they’re dull. . . . You have never lived with a Jewess, so you don’t know how charming it is!” Susanna Moiseyevna pronounced the last words with deliberate emphasis and with no eagerness or laughter. She paused as though frightened at her own openness, and her face was suddenly distorted in a strange, unaccountable way. Her eyes stared at the lieutenant without blinking, her lips parted and showed clenched teeth. Her whole face, her throat, and even her bosom, seemed quivering with a spiteful, catlike expression. Still keeping her eyes fixed on her visitor, she rapidly bent to one side, and swiftly, like a cat, snatched something from the table. All this was the work of a few seconds. Watching her movements, the lieutenant saw five fingers crumple up his IOUs and caught a glimpse of the white rustling paper as it disappeared in her clenched fist. Such an extraordinary transition from good-natured laughter to crime so appalled him that he turned pale and stepped back. . . .
“You don’t like Jews, obviously . . . they have their flaws, just like all groups. I don’t argue with that. But are the Jews responsible for it? No, it’s not the Jews, but the Jewish women! They can be narrow-minded, greedy; there’s nothing poetic about them, they’re dull. . . . You’ve never lived with a Jewish woman, so you don’t know how charming it can be!” Susanna Moiseyevna stated the last words with a pointed emphasis, without any eagerness or laughter. She paused, as if startled by her own frankness, and her face suddenly twisted in an odd, inexplicable way. Her eyes fixed on the lieutenant without blinking, her lips parted to reveal clenched teeth. Her entire face, her throat, and even her chest seemed to tremble with a spiteful, catlike expression. Still keeping her gaze on her guest, she quickly bent to one side and, swiftly like a cat, grabbed something from the table. All of this happened in just a few seconds. As the lieutenant observed her actions, he saw five fingers crumple up his IOUs and caught sight of the white rustling paper vanishing into her clenched fist. This sudden shift from friendly laughter to something sinister shocked him so much that he turned pale and took a step back. . . .
And she, still keeping her frightened, searching eyes upon him, felt along her hip with her clenched fist for her pocket. Her fist struggled convulsively for the pocket, like a fish in the net, and could not find the opening. In another moment the IOUs would have vanished in the recesses of her feminine garments, but at that point the lieutenant uttered a faint cry, and, moved more by instinct than reflection, seized the Jewess by her arm above the clenched fist. Showing her teeth more than ever, she struggled with all her might and pulled her hand away. Then Sokolsky put his right arm firmly round her waist, and the other round her chest and a struggle followed. Afraid of outraging her sex or hurting her, he tried only to prevent her moving, and to get hold of the fist with the IOUs; but she wriggled like an eel in his arms with her supple, flexible body, struck him in the chest with her elbows, and scratched him, so that he could not help touching her all over, and was forced to hurt her and disregard her modesty.
And she, still looking at him with frightened, searching eyes, felt her hip with her clenched fist for her pocket. Her fist struggled desperately for the pocket, like a fish caught in a net, but couldn’t find the opening. In another moment, the IOUs would have disappeared into the depths of her feminine attire, but just then the lieutenant let out a faint cry and, driven more by instinct than thought, grabbed the Jewess by her arm above her clenched fist. Showing her teeth more than ever, she struggled with all her strength and pulled her hand away. Then Sokolsky wrapped his right arm firmly around her waist and his other arm around her chest, and a struggle ensued. Worried about disrespecting her or hurting her, he only tried to keep her from moving and to get hold of the fist with the IOUs. But she wriggled like an eel in his arms with her supple, flexible body, elbowing him in the chest and scratching him, so that he couldn’t help but touch her all over, and was forced to hurt her and ignore her modesty.
“How unusual this is! How strange!” he thought, utterly amazed, hardly able to believe his senses, and feeling rather sick from the scent of jasmine.
“How weird this is! How strange!” he thought, completely amazed, barely able to believe his senses, and feeling a bit nauseous from the smell of jasmine.
In silence, breathing heavily, stumbling against the furniture, they moved about the room. Susanna was carried away by the struggle. She flushed, closed her eyes, and forgetting herself, once even pressed her face against the face of the lieutenant, so that there was a sweetish taste left on his lips. At last he caught hold of her clenched hand. . . . Forcing it open, and not finding the papers in it, he let go the Jewess. With flushed faces and dishevelled hair, they looked at one another, breathing hard. The spiteful, catlike expression on the Jewess’s face was gradually replaced by a good-natured smile. She burst out laughing, and turning on one foot, went towards the room where lunch was ready. The lieutenant moved slowly after her. She sat down to the table, and, still flushed and breathing hard, tossed off half a glass of port.
In silence, breathing heavily and stumbling against the furniture, they moved around the room. Susanna was caught up in the struggle. She blushed, closed her eyes, and in a moment of forgetfulness, pressed her face against the lieutenant's, leaving a sweetish taste on his lips. Finally, he grabbed her clenched hand. Forcing it open and not finding any papers, he let go of the Jewess. With flushed faces and messy hair, they looked at each other, breathing hard. The spiteful, catlike expression on the Jewess's face gradually changed to a friendly smile. She burst out laughing, turned on her heel, and walked toward the room where lunch was ready. The lieutenant followed slowly behind her. She sat down at the table and, still flushed and panting, downed half a glass of port.
“Listen”—the lieutenant broke the silence—“I hope you are joking?”
“Listen,” the lieutenant interrupted the silence, “I hope you’re joking?”
“Not a bit of it,” she answered, thrusting a piece of bread into her mouth.
“Not at all,” she said, shoving a piece of bread into her mouth.
“H’m! . . . How do you wish me to take all this?”
“H’m! . . . How do you want me to take all this?”
“As you choose. Sit down and have lunch!”
"As you wish. Come sit down and grab some lunch!"
“But . . . it’s dishonest!”
“But... that’s not honest!”
“Perhaps. But don’t trouble to give me a sermon; I have my own way of looking at things.”
“Maybe. But don’t bother giving me a lecture; I have my own perspective on things.”
“Won’t you give them back?”
"Will you give them back?"
“Of course not! If you were a poor unfortunate man, with nothing to eat, then it would be a different matter. But—he wants to get married!”
“Of course not! If you were a poor, unlucky guy with nothing to eat, then it would be a different story. But—he wants to get married!”
“It’s not my money, you know; it’s my cousin’s!”
“It’s not my money, you know; it’s my cousin’s!”
“And what does your cousin want with money? To get fashionable clothes for his wife? But I really don’t care whether your belle-soeur has dresses or not.”
“And what does your cousin want with money? To buy fancy clothes for his wife? But honestly, I don’t care if your belle-soeur has dresses or not.”
The lieutenant had ceased to remember that he was in a strange house with an unknown lady, and did not trouble himself with decorum. He strode up and down the room, scowled and nervously fingered his waistcoat. The fact that the Jewess had lowered herself in his eyes by her dishonest action, made him feel bolder and more free-and-easy.
The lieutenant had stopped remembering that he was in a strange house with an unfamiliar woman, and he didn't care about manners anymore. He paced the room, frowned, and nervously fiddled with his waistcoat. The fact that the Jewess had diminished her status in his eyes with her dishonest behavior made him feel more confident and at ease.
“The devil knows what to make of it!” he muttered. “Listen. I shan’t go away from here until I get the IOUs!”
“The devil knows what to make of it!” he muttered. “Listen. I’m not leaving here until I get the IOUs!”
“Ah, so much the better,” laughed Susanna. “If you stay here for good, it will make it livelier for me.”
“Ah, that’s even better,” laughed Susanna. “If you’re staying here for good, it’ll make things more lively for me.”
Excited by the struggle, the lieutenant looked at Susanna’s laughing, insolent face, at her munching mouth, at her heaving bosom, and grew bolder and more audacious. Instead of thinking about the IOU he began for some reason recalling with a sort of relish his cousin’s stories of the Jewess’s romantic adventures, of her free way of life, and these reminiscences only provoked him to greater audacity. Impulsively he sat down beside the Jewess and thinking no more of the IOUs began to eat. . . .
Excited by the challenge, the lieutenant looked at Susanna’s laughing, cheeky face, at her munching mouth, at her rising chest, and felt bolder and more daring. Instead of dwelling on the IOU, he started recalling, with a certain enjoyment, his cousin’s stories about the Jewish woman’s romantic escapades, her carefree lifestyle, and these memories only encouraged him to be bolder. Impulsively, he sat down next to the Jewish woman and, forgetting all about the IOUs, began to eat...
“Will you have vodka or wine?” Susanna asked with a laugh. “So you will stay till you get the IOUs? Poor fellow! How many days and nights you will have to spend with me, waiting for those IOUs! Won’t your fiancée have something to say about it?”
“Will you have vodka or wine?” Susanna laughed. “So you’re going to stick around until you get the IOUs? Poor guy! How many days and nights are you going to have to spend with me waiting for those IOUs? Won’t your fiancée have something to say about that?”
II
Five hours had passed. The lieutenant’s cousin, Alexey Ivanovitch Kryukov was walking about the rooms of his country-house in his dressing-gown and slippers, and looking impatiently out of window. He was a tall, sturdy man, with a large black beard and a manly face; and as the Jewess had truly said, he was handsome, though he had reached the age when men are apt to grow too stout, puffy, and bald. By mind and temperament he was one of those natures in which the Russian intellectual classes are so rich: warm-hearted, good-natured, well-bred, having some knowledge of the arts and sciences, some faith, and the most chivalrous notions about honour, but indolent and lacking in depth. He was fond of good eating and drinking, was an ideal whist-player, was a connoisseur in women and horses, but in other things he was apathetic and sluggish as a seal, and to rouse him from his lethargy something extraordinary and quite revolting was needed, and then he would forget everything in the world and display intense activity; he would fume and talk of a duel, write a petition of seven pages to a Minister, gallop at breakneck speed about the district, call some one publicly “a scoundrel,” would go to law, and so on.
Five hours had passed. The lieutenant’s cousin, Alexey Ivanovitch Kryukov, was walking around the rooms of his country house in his bathrobe and slippers, looking impatiently out the window. He was a tall, sturdy man with a large black beard and a manly face; and as the Jewess had correctly pointed out, he was handsome, even though he had reached the age when men often start to become a bit overweight, puffy, and bald. By nature and temperament, he was one of those types that the Russian intellectual classes are rich in: warm-hearted, good-natured, well-mannered, somewhat knowledgeable in the arts and sciences, with some faith, and a strong sense of honor, but lazy and lacking in depth. He enjoyed good food and drink, was an excellent whist player, and had a keen eye for women and horses, but for other matters, he was as apathetic and sluggish as a seal. It took something truly extraordinary and quite shocking to rouse him from his slumber, and then he would forget everything else and spring into intense activity; he would get worked up and talk about a duel, write a seven-page petition to a Minister, race around the district at breakneck speed, publicly call someone “a scoundrel,” go to court, and so on.
“How is it our Sasha’s not back yet?” he kept asking his wife, glancing out of window. “Why, it’s dinner-time!”
“How come our Sasha isn’t back yet?” he kept asking his wife, looking out the window. “It’s dinner time!”
After waiting for the lieutenant till six o’clock, they sat down to dinner. When supper-time came, however, Alexey Ivanovitch was listening to every footstep, to every sound of the door, and kept shrugging his shoulders.
After waiting for the lieutenant until six o'clock, they sat down to dinner. When supper time arrived, though, Alexey Ivanovitch was listening for every footstep, every sound of the door, and kept shrugging his shoulders.
“Strange!” he said. “The rascally dandy must have stayed on at the tenant’s.”
“Strange!” he said. “That sneaky show-off must have stuck around at the tenant’s.”
As he went to bed after supper, Kryukov made up his mind that the lieutenant was being entertained at the tenant’s, where after a festive evening he was staying the night.
As he got ready for bed after dinner, Kryukov decided that the lieutenant was hanging out at the tenant's place, where he was spending the night after a fun evening.
Alexandr Grigoryevitch only returned next morning. He looked extremely crumpled and confused.
Alexandr Grigoryevitch only came back the next morning. He looked really disheveled and confused.
“I want to speak to you alone . . .” he said mysteriously to his cousin.
“I want to talk to you privately . . .” he said mysteriously to his cousin.
They went into the study. The lieutenant shut the door, and he paced for a long time up and down before he began to speak.
They walked into the study. The lieutenant closed the door and paced back and forth for a long time before he started to talk.
“Something’s happened, my dear fellow,” he began, “that I don’t know how to tell you about. You wouldn’t believe it . . .”
“Something’s happened, my friend,” he started, “that I don’t know how to explain to you. You wouldn’t believe it . . .”
And blushing, faltering, not looking at his cousin, he told what had happened with the IOUs. Kryukov, standing with his feet wide apart and his head bent, listened and frowned.
And, blushing and hesitating, avoiding eye contact with his cousin, he explained what had happened with the IOUs. Kryukov, standing with his feet apart and his head lowered, listened with a frown.
“Are you joking?” he asked.
“Are you serious?” he asked.
“How the devil could I be joking? It’s no joking matter!”
“How on earth could I be joking? This is serious!”
“I don’t understand!” muttered Kryukov, turning crimson and flinging up his hands. “It’s positively . . . immoral on your part. Before your very eyes a hussy is up to the devil knows what, a serious crime, plays a nasty trick, and you go and kiss her!”
“I don’t get it!” Kryukov grumbled, turning red and throwing up his hands. “It’s downright . . . immoral of you. Right in front of you, a troublemaker is up to who knows what, committing a serious offense, pulling a dirty trick, and you just go and kiss her!”
“But I can’t understand myself how it happened!” whispered the lieutenant, blinking guiltily. “Upon my honour, I don’t understand it! It’s the first time in my life I’ve come across such a monster! It’s not her beauty that does for you, not her mind, but that . . . you understand . . . insolence, cynicism. . . .”
“But I can’t understand how it happened!” whispered the lieutenant, blinking with guilt. “I swear, I have no idea! It’s the first time in my life I’ve encountered such a monster! It’s not her beauty or her intelligence, but that . . . you know . . . her arrogance, her cynicism. . . .”
“Insolence, cynicism . . . it’s unclean! If you’ve such a longing for insolence and cynicism, you might have picked a sow out of the mire and have devoured her alive. It would have been cheaper, anyway! Instead of two thousand three hundred!”
“Insolence, cynicism... it’s disgusting! If you have such a desire for insolence and cynicism, you might as well have picked a pig out of the mud and eaten her alive. That would have been cheaper anyway! Instead of two thousand three hundred!”
“You do express yourself elegantly!” said the lieutenant, frowning. “I’ll pay you back the two thousand three hundred!”
“You really know how to express yourself!” said the lieutenant, frowning. “I’ll pay you back the two thousand three hundred!”
“I know you’ll pay it back, but it’s not a question of money! Damn the money! What revolts me is your being such a limp rag . . . such filthy feebleness! And engaged! With a fiancée!”
“I know you’ll pay it back, but it’s not about the money! Forget the money! What disgusts me is how weak you are... such utter weakness! And you're engaged! With a fiancée!”
“Don’t speak of it . . .” said the lieutenant, blushing. “I loathe myself as it is. I should like to sink into the earth. It’s sickening and vexatious that I shall have to bother my aunt for that five thousand. . . .”
“Don’t talk about it . . .” said the lieutenant, blushing. “I already hate myself enough. I just want to disappear. It’s disgusting and frustrating that I’ll have to ask my aunt for that five thousand. . . .”
Kryukov continued for some time longer expressing his indignation and grumbling, then, as he grew calmer, he sat down on the sofa and began to jeer at his cousin.
Kryukov kept going for a while, venting his frustration and complaining, then, as he settled down, he sat on the sofa and started making fun of his cousin.
“You young officers!” he said with contemptuous irony. “Nice bridegrooms.”
“Young officers!” he said with a sarcastic tone. “Great grooms.”
Suddenly he leapt up as though he had been stung, stamped his foot, and ran about the study.
Suddenly he jumped up as if he had been stung, stamped his foot, and ran around the study.
“No, I’m not going to leave it like that!” he said, shaking his fist. “I will have those IOUs, I will! I’ll give it her! One doesn’t beat women, but I’ll break every bone in her body. . . . I’ll pound her to a jelly! I’m not a lieutenant! You won’t touch me with insolence or cynicism! No-o-o, damn her! Mishka!” he shouted, “run and tell them to get the racing droshky out for me!”
“No, I'm not leaving it like that!” he said, shaking his fist. “I’m going to get those IOUs, I really will! I’ll teach her a lesson! You don’t hit women, but I’ll break every bone in her body... I’ll beat her to a pulp! I’m not a lieutenant! You can’t treat me with disrespect or sarcasm! No, damn her! Mishka!” he shouted, “run and tell them to get the racing carriage ready for me!”
Kryukov dressed rapidly, and, without heeding the agitated lieutenant, got into the droshky, and with a wave of his hand resolutely raced off to Susanna Moiseyevna. For a long time the lieutenant gazed out of window at the clouds of dust that rolled after his cousin’s droshky, stretched, yawned, and went to his own room. A quarter of an hour later he was sound asleep.
Kryukov quickly got dressed and, ignoring the restless lieutenant, hopped into the droshky and confidently sped off to see Susanna Moiseyevna. The lieutenant stared out the window for a long time, watching the clouds of dust follow his cousin's droshky, then he stretched, yawned, and headed to his own room. Fifteen minutes later, he was fast asleep.
At six o’clock he was waked up and summoned to dinner.
At six o’clock, he was awakened and called to dinner.
“How nice this is of Alexey!” his cousin’s wife greeted him in the dining-room. “He keeps us waiting for dinner.”
“How nice of Alexey!” his cousin’s wife greeted him in the dining room. “He’s making us wait for dinner.”
“Do you mean to say he’s not come back yet?” yawned the lieutenant. “H’m! . . . he’s probably gone round to see the tenant.”
“Are you saying he hasn't come back yet?” the lieutenant yawned. “Hmm! . . . he’s probably gone over to check on the tenant.”
But Alexey Ivanovitch was not back by supper either. His wife and Sokolsky decided that he was playing cards at the tenant’s and would most likely stay the night there. What had happened was not what they had supposed, however.
But Alexey Ivanovitch still hadn't returned by dinner. His wife and Sokolsky thought he was playing cards at the tenant's place and would probably spend the night there. What actually happened wasn't what they had assumed, though.
Kryukov returned next morning, and without greeting any one, without a word, dashed into his study.
Kryukov came back the next morning and, without saying hello to anyone, rushed into his study.
“Well?” whispered the lieutenant, gazing at him round-eyed.
“Well?” whispered the lieutenant, looking at him with wide eyes.
Kryukov waved his hand and gave a snort.
Kryukov waved his hand and snorted.
“Why, what’s the matter? What are you laughing at?”
“Hey, what's going on? What are you laughing at?”
Kryukov flopped on the sofa, thrust his head in the pillow, and shook with suppressed laughter. A minute later he got up, and looking at the surprised lieutenant, with his eyes full of tears from laughing, said:
Kryukov collapsed onto the sofa, buried his head in the pillow, and shook with muffled laughter. A minute later, he got up and, looking at the astonished lieutenant with tears of laughter in his eyes, said:
“Close the door. Well . . . she is a fe-e-male, I beg to inform you!”
“Close the door. Well . . . she is a woman, just so you know!"
“Did you get the IOUs?”
“Did you receive the IOUs?”
Kryukov waved his hand and went off into a peal of laughter again.
Kryukov waved his hand and burst into laughter again.
“Well! she is a female!” he went on. “Merci for the acquaintance, my boy! She’s a devil in petticoats. I arrived; I walked in like such an avenging Jove, you know, that I felt almost afraid of myself . . . . I frowned, I scowled, even clenched my fists to be more awe-inspiring. . . . ‘Jokes don’t pay with me, madam!’ said I, and more in that style. And I threatened her with the law and with the Governor. To begin with she burst into tears, said she’d been joking with you, and even took me to the cupboard to give me the money. Then she began arguing that the future of Europe lies in the hands of the French, and the Russians, swore at women. . . . Like you, I listened, fascinated, ass that I was. . . . She kept singing the praises of my beauty, patted me on the arm near the shoulder, to see how strong I was, and . . . and as you see, I’ve only just got away from her! Ha, ha! She’s enthusiastic about you!”
“Well! She's a woman!” he continued. “Thanks for the introduction, my friend! She's a real firecracker. I arrived; I walked in like a furious god, you know, that I almost felt scared of myself . . . . I frowned, I glared, even clenched my fists to seem more intimidating. . . . ‘I don't take jokes, madam!’ I told her, and more along those lines. And I threatened her with the law and the Governor. At first, she burst into tears, said she’d been joking with you, and even took me to the cupboard to get me the money. Then she started arguing that the future of Europe is in the hands of the French and the Russians, cursing women . . . . Like you, I listened, mesmerized, the fool that I was. . . . She kept praising my looks, patted me on the arm near the shoulder to test my strength, and . . . and as you can see, I just managed to escape from her! Ha, ha! She’s crazy about you!”
“You’re a nice fellow!” laughed the lieutenant. “A married man! highly respected. . . . Well, aren’t you ashamed? Disgusted? Joking apart though, old man, you’ve got your Queen Tamara in your own neighbourhood. . . .”
“You're a nice guy!” laughed the lieutenant. “A married man! Highly respected... Well, aren’t you ashamed? Disgusted? But seriously, old man, you've got your own Queen Tamara right in your neighborhood...”
“In my own neighbourhood! Why, you wouldn’t find another such chameleon in the whole of Russia! I’ve never seen anything like it in my life, though I know a good bit about women, too. I have known regular devils in my time, but I never met anything like this. It is, as you say, by insolence and cynicism she gets over you. What is so attractive in her is the diabolical suddenness, the quick transitions, the swift shifting hues. . . . Brrr! And the IOU— phew! Write it off for lost. We are both great sinners, we’ll go halves in our sin. I shall put down to you not two thousand three hundred, but half of it. Mind, tell my wife I was at the tenant’s.”
“In my own neighborhood! You wouldn’t find another chameleon like her anywhere in Russia! I’ve never seen anything like it in my life, even though I know a fair bit about women. I’ve known some real troublemakers in my time, but I’ve never encountered anyone like this. She uses her boldness and cynicism to wrap you around her finger. What’s so captivating about her is the diabolical unpredictability, the quick changes, the rapid shifts in her demeanor... Brrr! And the IOU—forget it, it's a lost cause. We’re both in the wrong, so let’s share the blame. I won’t charge you for two thousand three hundred, just half of that. And by the way, tell my wife I was at the tenant’s.”
Kryukov and the lieutenant buried their heads in the pillows, and broke into laughter; they raised their heads, glanced at one another, and again subsided into their pillows.
Kryukov and the lieutenant buried their heads in the pillows and burst out laughing; they lifted their heads, looked at each other, and then fell back into their pillows again.
“Engaged! A lieutenant!” Kryukov jeered.
“Engaged! A lieutenant!” Kryukov mocked.
“Married!” retorted Sokolsky. “Highly respected! Father of a family!”
“Married!” Sokolsky shot back. “Well-respected! A family man!”
At dinner they talked in veiled allusions, winked at one another, and, to the surprise of the others, were continually gushing with laughter into their dinner-napkins. After dinner, still in the best of spirits, they dressed up as Turks, and, running after one another with guns, played at soldiers with the children. In the evening they had a long argument. The lieutenant maintained that it was mean and contemptible to accept a dowry with your wife, even when there was passionate love on both sides. Kryukov thumped the table with his fists and declared that this was absurd, and that a husband who did not like his wife to have property of her own was an egoist and a despot. Both shouted, boiled over, did not understand each other, drank a good deal, and in the end, picking up the skirts of their dressing-gowns, went to their bedrooms. They soon fell asleep and slept soundly.
At dinner, they spoke in subtle hints, exchanged glances, and, to the surprise of everyone else, kept bursting into laughter into their dinner napkins. After dinner, still in high spirits, they dressed up as Turks and ran around with toy guns, playing soldiers with the kids. Later in the evening, they had a long debate. The lieutenant argued that it was low and despicable to accept a dowry with your wife, even if there was deep mutual love. Kryukov slammed the table with his fists, claiming that was ridiculous and that a husband who didn't want his wife to have her own money was selfish and controlling. They both shouted, got worked up, failed to understand each other, drank quite a bit, and eventually, lifting the hems of their bathrobes, went to their bedrooms. They quickly fell asleep and slept soundly.
Life went on as before, even, sluggish and free from sorrow. The shadows lay on the earth, thunder pealed from the clouds, from time to time the wind moaned plaintively, as though to prove that nature, too, could lament, but nothing troubled the habitual tranquillity of these people. Of Susanna Moiseyevna and the IOUs they said nothing. Both of them felt, somehow, ashamed to speak of the incident aloud. Yet they remembered it and thought of it with pleasure, as of a curious farce, which life had unexpectedly and casually played upon them, and which it would be pleasant to recall in old age.
Life continued as usual, slow and free from sadness. Shadows rested on the ground, thunder rumbled from the clouds, and occasionally the wind sighed softly, as if to show that nature could grieve too. But nothing disturbed the usual calm of these people. They didn’t mention Susanna Moiseyevna or the IOUs. Both felt a bit embarrassed to talk about what happened. Still, they remembered it fondly, like a strange comedy that life had unexpectedly thrown their way, something they would enjoy reminiscing about in old age.
On the sixth or seventh day after his visit to the Jewess, Kryukov was sitting in his study in the morning writing a congratulatory letter to his aunt. Alexandr Grigoryevitch was walking to and fro near the table in silence. The lieutenant had slept badly that night; he woke up depressed, and now he felt bored. He paced up and down, thinking of the end of his furlough, of his fiancée, who was expecting him, of how people could live all their lives in the country without feeling bored. Standing at the window, for a long time he stared at the trees, smoked three cigarettes one after another, and suddenly turned to his cousin.
On the sixth or seventh day after his visit to the Jewish woman, Kryukov was sitting in his study in the morning, writing a congratulatory letter to his aunt. Alexandr Grigoryevitch was pacing back and forth near the table in silence. The lieutenant had not slept well that night; he woke up feeling down, and now he was bored. He walked up and down, thinking about the end of his leave, his fiancée who was waiting for him, and how some people could live their whole lives in the countryside without getting bored. Standing by the window, he stared at the trees for a long time, smoked three cigarettes in a row, and suddenly turned to his cousin.
“I have a favour to ask you, Alyosha,” he said. “Let me have a saddle-horse for the day. . . .”
“I have a favor to ask you, Alyosha,” he said. “Can I borrow a saddle horse for the day. . . .”
Kryukov looked searchingly at him and continued his writing with a frown.
Kryukov looked at him intently and kept writing with a frown.
“You will, then?” asked the lieutenant.
“You will, then?” asked the lieutenant.
Kryukov looked at him again, then deliberately drew out a drawer in the table, and taking out a thick roll of notes, gave it to his cousin.
Kryukov looked at him again, then purposely pulled out a drawer in the table, and taking out a thick bundle of cash, handed it to his cousin.
“Here’s five thousand . . .” he said. “Though it’s not my money, yet, God bless you, it’s all the same. I advise you to send for post-horses at once and go away. Yes, really!”
“Here’s five thousand . . .” he said. “Even though it’s not my money, still, God bless you, it’s the same. I suggest you send for post-horses right away and leave. Yes, really!”
The lieutenant in his turn looked searchingly at Kryukov and laughed.
The lieutenant, in turn, looked intently at Kryukov and laughed.
“You’ve guessed right, Alyosha,” he said, reddening. “It was to her I meant to ride. Yesterday evening when the washerwoman gave me that damned tunic, the one I was wearing then, and it smelt of jasmine, why . . . I felt I must go!”
“You’re right, Alyosha,” he said, blushing. “I meant to ride to her place. Yesterday evening when the washerwoman gave me that damn tunic, the one I was wearing then, and it smelled like jasmine, well . . . I felt I had to go!”
“You must go away.”
“Please leave.”
“Yes, certainly. And my furlough’s just over. I really will go to-day! Yes, by Jove! However long one stays, one has to go in the end. . . . I’m going!”
“Yes, definitely. And my vacation just ended. I really will go today! Yes, for sure! No matter how long you stay, you have to leave eventually... I’m going!”
The post-horses were brought after dinner the same day; the lieutenant said good-bye to the Kryukovs and set off, followed by their good wishes.
The post horses were brought after dinner that same day; the lieutenant said goodbye to the Kryukovs and left, accompanied by their best wishes.
Another week passed. It was a dull but hot and heavy day. From early morning Kryukov walked aimlessly about the house, looking out of window, or turning over the leaves of albums, though he was sick of the sight of them already. When he came across his wife or children, he began grumbling crossly. It seemed to him, for some reason that day, that his children’s manners were revolting, that his wife did not know how to look after the servants, that their expenditure was quite disproportionate to their income. All this meant that “the master” was out of humour.
Another week went by. It was a boring day, but it was hot and oppressive. From early morning, Kryukov wandered around the house aimlessly, staring out the window or flipping through the pages of albums, though he was already tired of looking at them. Whenever he ran into his wife or kids, he started grumbling irritably. For some reason that day, it seemed to him that his kids’ behavior was unbearable, that his wife didn’t know how to manage the staff, and that their spending was way out of line with their income. All of this meant that “the master” was in a bad mood.
After dinner, Kryukov, feeling dissatisfied with the soup and the roast meat he had eaten, ordered out his racing droshky. He drove slowly out of the courtyard, drove at a walking pace for a quarter of a mile, and stopped.
After dinner, Kryukov, unhappy with the soup and roast meat he had, called for his racing droshky. He drove slowly out of the courtyard, went at a slow pace for a quarter of a mile, and then stopped.
“Shall I . . . drive to her . . . that devil?” he thought, looking at the leaden sky.
“Should I . . . drive to her . . . that jerk?” he thought, looking at the overcast sky.
And Kryukov positively laughed, as though it were the first time that day he had asked himself that question. At once the load of boredom was lifted from his heart, and there rose a gleam of pleasure in his lazy eyes. He lashed the horse. . . .
And Kryukov actually laughed, as if it were the first time that day he had asked himself that question. Suddenly, the weight of boredom lifted from his heart, and a spark of joy flickered in his lazy eyes. He whipped the horse. . . .
All the way his imagination was picturing how surprised the Jewess would be to see him, how he would laugh and chat, and come home feeling refreshed. . . .
All the way, he imagined how shocked the Jewish woman would be to see him, how he would laugh and talk, and come home feeling rejuvenated...
“Once a month one needs something to brighten one up . . . something out of the common round,” he thought, “something that would give the stagnant organism a good shaking up, a reaction . . . whether it’s a drinking bout, or . . . Susanna. One can’t get on without it.”
“Once a month, you need something to lift your spirits . . . something out of the ordinary,” he thought, “something that would shake up the stagnant routine, create a reaction . . . whether it’s a night of drinking, or . . . Susanna. You can’t go on without it.”
It was getting dark when he drove into the yard of the vodka distillery. From the open windows of the owner’s house came sounds of laughter and singing:
It was getting dark when he drove into the yard of the vodka distillery. From the open windows of the owner’s house came sounds of laughter and singing:
“‘Brighter than lightning, more burning than flame. . . .’”
“‘Brighter than lightning, hotter than fire. . . .’”
sang a powerful, mellow, bass voice.
sang in a strong, smooth, deep voice.
“Aha! she has visitors,” thought Kryukov.
“Aha! She has visitors,” Kryukov thought.
And he was annoyed that she had visitors.
And he was irritated that she had guests.
“Shall I go back?” he thought with his hand on the bell, but he rang all the same, and went up the familiar staircase. From the entry he glanced into the reception hall. There were about five men there—all landowners and officials of his acquaintance; one, a tall, thin gentleman, was sitting at the piano, singing, and striking the keys with his long, thin fingers. The others were listening and grinning with enjoyment. Kryukov looked himself up and down in the looking-glass, and was about to go into the hall, when Susanna Moiseyevna herself darted into the entry, in high spirits and wearing the same black dress. . . . Seeing Kryukov, she was petrified for an instant, then she uttered a little scream and beamed with delight.
“Should I go back?” he thought with his hand on the doorbell, but he rang it anyway and climbed the familiar staircase. From the entryway, he glanced into the reception hall. There were about five men there—all landowners and officials he knew; one, a tall, thin guy, was sitting at the piano, singing and playing the keys with his long fingers. The others were listening and grinning with enjoyment. Kryukov checked himself in the mirror and was about to enter the hall when Susanna Moiseyevna suddenly dashed into the entry, full of energy and wearing the same black dress. . . . When she saw Kryukov, she froze for a moment, then let out a little scream and beamed with joy.
“Is it you?” she said, clutching his hand. “What a surprise!”
“Is that you?” she said, gripping his hand. “What a surprise!”
“Here she is!” smiled Kryukov, putting his arm round her waist. “Well! Does the destiny of Europe still lie in the hands of the French and the Russians?”
“Here she is!” Kryukov said with a smile, wrapping his arm around her waist. “So! Does the future of Europe still rest in the hands of the French and the Russians?”
“I’m so glad,” laughed the Jewess, cautiously removing his arm. “Come, go into the hall; they’re all friends there. . . . I’ll go and tell them to bring you some tea. Your name’s Alexey, isn’t it? Well, go in, I’ll come directly. . . .”
“I’m so glad,” laughed the Jewish woman, gently taking his arm away. “Come, let’s go into the hall; everyone there are friends. . . . I’ll go tell them to bring you some tea. Your name is Alexey, right? Well, go in, I’ll be right there. . . .”
She blew him a kiss and ran out of the entry, leaving behind her the same sickly smell of jasmine. Kryukov raised his head and walked into the hall. He was on terms of friendly intimacy with all the men in the room, but scarcely nodded to them; they, too, scarcely responded, as though the places in which they met were not quite decent, and as though they were in tacit agreement with one another that it was more suitable for them not to recognise one another.
She blew him a kiss and ran out of the entrance, leaving behind the same sickly smell of jasmine. Kryukov lifted his head and walked into the hall. He was on friendly terms with all the guys in the room, but barely nodded to them; they, too, barely responded, as if the places where they met weren’t quite respectable, and as if they were silently agreeing that it was better for them not to acknowledge each other.
From the hall Kryukov walked into the drawing-room, and from it into a second drawing-room. On the way he met three or four other guests, also men whom he knew, though they barely recognised him. Their faces were flushed with drink and merriment. Alexey Ivanovitch glanced furtively at them and marvelled that these men, respectable heads of families, who had known sorrow and privation, could demean themselves to such pitiful, cheap gaiety! He shrugged his shoulders, smiled, and walked on.
From the hall, Kryukov walked into the living room, and from there into a second living room. On the way, he ran into three or four other guests, also men he knew, although they barely recognized him. Their faces were flushed from drinking and having a good time. Alexey Ivanovitch glanced at them sideways and wondered how these respectable family men, who had experienced hardship and loss, could lower themselves to such pathetic, cheap fun! He shrugged his shoulders, smiled, and continued on.
“There are places,” he reflected, “where a sober man feels sick, and a drunken man rejoices. I remember I never could go to the operetta or the gipsies when I was sober: wine makes a man more good-natured and reconciles him with vice. . . .”
“There are places,” he thought, “where a sober person feels unwell, and a drunk person feels happy. I remember I could never enjoy the operetta or the gipsies when I was sober: alcohol makes a person more friendly and makes them accept their vices...”
Suddenly he stood still, petrified, and caught hold of the door-post with both hands. At the writing-table in Susanna’s study was sitting Lieutenant Alexandr Grigoryevitch. He was discussing something in an undertone with a fat, flabby-looking Jew, and seeing his cousin, flushed crimson and looked down at an album.
Suddenly, he froze, completely shocked, and gripped the door frame with both hands. At the writing desk in Susanna's study, Lieutenant Alexandr Grigoryevitch was seated. He was whispering about something with a chubby, soft-looking Jewish man, and when he spotted his cousin, he turned beet red and looked down at an album.
The sense of decency was stirred in Kryukov and the blood rushed to his head. Overwhelmed with amazement, shame, and anger, he walked up to the table without a word. Sokolsky’s head sank lower than ever. His face worked with an expression of agonising shame.
The feeling of decency was triggered in Kryukov, and his blood rushed to his head. Overwhelmed by shock, embarrassment, and anger, he approached the table without saying a word. Sokolsky's head drooped lower than ever. His face was contorted with a look of deep shame.
“Ah, it’s you, Alyosha!” he articulated, making a desperate effort to raise his eyes and to smile. “I called here to say good-bye, and, as you see. . . . But to-morrow I am certainly going.”
“Ah, it’s you, Alyosha!” he said, making a desperate effort to lift his eyes and smile. “I came here to say goodbye, and, as you can see... But tomorrow, I’m definitely leaving.”
“What can I say to him? What?” thought Alexey Ivanovitch. “How can I judge him since I’m here myself?”
“What can I even say to him? What?” thought Alexey Ivanovitch. “How can I judge him when I’m in the same situation?”
And clearing his throat without uttering a word, he went out slowly.
And after clearing his throat without saying anything, he walked out slowly.
“‘Call her not heavenly, and leave her on earth. . . .’”
“‘Don’t call her heavenly, just keep her on earth. . . .’”
The bass was singing in the hall. A little while after, Kryukov’s racing droshky was bumping along the dusty road.
The bass was playing in the hall. A little while later, Kryukov’s speeding droshky was jolting along the dusty road.
NEIGHBOURS
PYOTR MIHALITCH IVASHIN was very much out of humour: his sister, a young girl, had gone away to live with Vlassitch, a married man. To shake off the despondency and depression which pursued him at home and in the fields, he called to his aid his sense of justice, his genuine and noble ideas—he had always defended free-love! —but this was of no avail, and he always came back to the same conclusion as their foolish old nurse, that his sister had acted wrongly and that Vlassitch had abducted his sister. And that was distressing.
PYOTR MIHALITCH IVASHIN was very much in a bad mood: his sister, a young girl, had moved in with Vlassitch, a married man. To shake off the sadness and gloom that followed him at home and in the fields, he tried to rely on his sense of justice and his genuine, noble ideals—he had always supported free love! —but it didn’t help, and he always ended up back at the same conclusion as their foolish old nurse, that his sister had made a mistake and that Vlassitch had taken his sister away. And that was upsetting.
His mother did not leave her room all day long; the old nurse kept sighing and speaking in whispers; his aunt had been on the point of taking her departure every day, and her trunks were continually being brought down to the hall and carried up again to her room. In the house, in the yard, and in the garden it was as still as though there were some one dead in the house. His aunt, the servants, and even the peasants, so it seemed to Pyotr Mihalitch, looked at him enigmatically and with perplexity, as though they wanted to say “Your sister has been seduced; why are you doing nothing?” And he reproached himself for inactivity, though he did not know precisely what action he ought to have taken.
His mother stayed in her room all day; the old nurse kept sighing and speaking in whispers. His aunt seemed ready to leave every day, and her suitcases were constantly being brought down to the hall only to be taken back up to her room. The house, yard, and garden were as quiet as if someone had died inside. His aunt, the servants, and even the villagers, it seemed to Pyotr Mihalitch, looked at him with confusion and a hint of accusation, as if they wanted to say, “Your sister has been seduced; why aren’t you doing anything?” He felt guilty for not taking action, even though he wasn’t sure what he should have done.
So passed six days. On the seventh—it was Sunday afternoon—a messenger on horseback brought a letter. The address was in a familiar feminine handwriting: “Her Excy. Anna Nikolaevna Ivashin.” Pyotr Mihalitch fancied that there was something defiant, provocative, in the handwriting and in the abbreviation “Excy.” And advanced ideas in women are obstinate, ruthless, cruel.
So six days went by. On the seventh—it was Sunday afternoon—a messenger on horseback delivered a letter. The address was in a familiar feminine handwriting: “Her Excy. Anna Nikolaevna Ivashin.” Pyotr Mihalitch thought there was something defiant and provocative in the handwriting and in the abbreviation “Excy.” And progressive ideas in women are stubborn, ruthless, and harsh.
“She’d rather die than make any concession to her unhappy mother, or beg her forgiveness,” thought Pyotr Mihalitch, as he went to his mother with the letter.
“She’d rather die than give in to her unhappy mother or beg for her forgiveness,” thought Pyotr Mihalitch as he went to his mother with the letter.
His mother was lying on her bed, dressed. Seeing her son, she rose impulsively, and straightening her grey hair, which had fallen from under her cap, asked quickly:
His mother was lying on her bed, fully dressed. When she saw her son, she got up impulsively and, fixing her grey hair that had slipped out from under her cap, asked quickly:
“What is it? What is it?”
“What is it? What is it?”
“This has come . . .” said her son, giving her the letter.
“This has come . . .” her son said, handing her the letter.
Zina’s name, and even the pronoun “she” was not uttered in the house. Zina was spoken of impersonally: “this has come,” “Gone away,” and so on. . . . The mother recognised her daughter’s handwriting, and her face grew ugly and unpleasant, and her grey hair escaped again from her cap.
Zina’s name, and even the pronoun “she,” was never mentioned in the house. Zina was referred to impersonally: “this has come,” “gone away,” and so on. . . . The mother recognized her daughter’s handwriting, and her face became distorted and unpleasant, with her gray hair slipping out of her cap once more.
“No!” she said, with a motion of her hands, as though the letter scorched her fingers. “No, no, never! Nothing would induce me!”
“No!” she exclaimed, waving her hands as if the letter was burning her fingers. “No, no, never! Nothing could make me do it!”
The mother broke into hysterical sobs of grief and shame; she evidently longed to read the letter, but her pride prevented her. Pyotr Mihalitch realised that he ought to open the letter himself and read it aloud, but he was overcome by anger such as he had never felt before; he ran out into the yard and shouted to the messenger:
The mother burst into tears, overwhelmed with grief and shame; she clearly wanted to read the letter, but her pride held her back. Pyotr Mihalitch understood that he should open the letter himself and read it out loud, but he was consumed by a rage he had never experienced before; he ran out into the yard and yelled at the messenger:
“Say there will be no answer! There will be no answer! Tell them that, you beast!”
“Just say there won't be an answer! There won't be an answer! Tell them that, you monster!”
And he tore up the letter; then tears came into his eyes, and feeling that he was cruel, miserable, and to blame, he went out into the fields.
And he ripped up the letter; then tears filled his eyes, and feeling cruel, miserable, and guilty, he went out into the fields.
He was only twenty-seven, but he was already stout. He dressed like an old man in loose, roomy clothes, and suffered from asthma. He already seemed to be developing the characteristics of an elderly country bachelor. He never fell in love, never thought of marriage, and loved no one but his mother, his sister, his old nurse, and the gardener, Vassilitch. He was fond of good fare, of his nap after dinner, and of talking about politics and exalted subjects. He had in his day taken his degree at the university, but he now looked upon his studies as though in them he had discharged a duty incumbent upon young men between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five; at any rate, the ideas which now strayed every day through his mind had nothing in common with the university or the subjects he had studied there.
He was only twenty-seven, but he was already stocky. He dressed like an old man in loose, comfortable clothes, and he had asthma. He seemed to be developing the traits of an elderly country bachelor. He never fell in love, never thought about marriage, and cared for no one except his mother, his sister, his old nurse, and the gardener, Vassilitch. He enjoyed good food, his nap after dinner, and discussing politics and lofty topics. He had graduated from university, but now he viewed his studies as just a requirement for young men between eighteen and twenty-five; anyway, the ideas that wandered through his mind every day had nothing to do with the university or the subjects he had studied there.
In the fields it was hot and still, as though rain were coming. It was steaming in the wood, and there was a heavy fragrant scent from the pines and rotting leaves. Pyotr Mihalitch stopped several times and wiped his wet brow. He looked at his winter corn and his spring oats, walked round the clover-field, and twice drove away a partridge with its chicks which had strayed in from the wood. And all the while he was thinking that this insufferable state of things could not go on for ever, and that he must end it one way or another. End it stupidly, madly, but he must end it.
In the fields, it was hot and still, as if rain were on its way. It was humid in the woods, and a strong, sweet smell filled the air from the pines and decaying leaves. Pyotr Mihalitch paused several times to wipe the sweat off his forehead. He surveyed his winter corn and spring oats, walked around the clover field, and twice shooed away a partridge and its chicks that had wandered in from the woods. All the while, he kept thinking that this unbearable situation couldn’t last forever, and he had to put an end to it, whether in a foolish or crazy way. He just had to end it.
“But how? What can I do?” he asked himself, and looked imploringly at the sky and at the trees, as though begging for their help.
“But how? What can I do?” he wondered, gazing up at the sky and the trees, as if pleading for their assistance.
But the sky and the trees were mute. His noble ideas were no help, and his common sense whispered that the agonising question could have no solution but a stupid one, and that to-day’s scene with the messenger was not the last one of its kind. It was terrible to think what was in store for him!
But the sky and the trees were silent. His lofty ideas didn’t help, and his common sense suggested that the painful question could only have a foolish answer, and that today’s encounter with the messenger wouldn’t be the last of its kind. It was dreadful to consider what awaited him!
As he returned home the sun was setting. By now it seemed to him that the problem was incapable of solution. He could not accept the accomplished fact, and he could not refuse to accept it, and there was no intermediate course. When, taking off his hat and fanning himself with his handkerchief, he was walking along the road, and had only another mile and a half to go before he would reach home, he heard bells behind him. It was a very choice and successful combination of bells, which gave a clear crystal note. No one had such bells on his horses but the police captain, Medovsky, formerly an officer in the hussars, a man in broken-down health, who had been a great rake and spendthrift, and was a distant relation of Pyotr Mihalitch. He was like one of the family at the Ivashins’ and had a tender, fatherly affection for Zina, as well as a great admiration for her.
As he headed home, the sun was setting. At this point, it felt to him like the problem was unsolvable. He couldn't accept the reality, but he also couldn't push it away, and there was no middle ground. While he took off his hat and waved his handkerchief to cool himself, he walked along the road, just a mile and a half from home, when he heard bells behind him. It was a striking and perfect combination of bells, producing a clear, crystal sound. No one had bells like that on their horses except for the police captain, Medovsky, a former hussar officer in poor health, who had been quite a party-goer and spender, and was a distant relative of Pyotr Mihalitch. He was like family to the Ivashins and had a tender, fatherly affection for Zina, along with a deep admiration for her.
“I was coming to see you,” he said, overtaking Pyotr Mihalitch. “Get in; I’ll give you a lift.”
“I was on my way to see you,” he said, passing Pyotr Mihalitch. “Hop in; I’ll give you a ride.”
He was smiling and looked cheerful. Evidently he did not yet know that Zina had gone to live with Vlassitch; perhaps he had been told of it already, but did not believe it. Pyotr Mihalitch felt in a difficult position.
He was smiling and looked happy. Clearly, he didn’t know yet that Zina had moved in with Vlassitch; maybe someone had already told him, but he didn’t believe it. Pyotr Mihalitch felt stuck in a tough situation.
“You are very welcome,” he muttered, blushing till the tears came into his eyes, and not knowing how to lie or what to say. “I am delighted,” he went on, trying to smile, “but . . . Zina is away and mother is ill.”
“You're very welcome,” he mumbled, blushing until tears welled up in his eyes, unsure how to lie or what to say. “I'm glad,” he continued, trying to smile, “but ... Zina is away and my mom is sick.”
“How annoying!” said the police captain, looking pensively at Pyotr Mihalitch. “And I was meaning to spend the evening with you. Where has Zinaida Mihalovna gone?”
“How annoying!” said the police captain, looking thoughtfully at Pyotr Mihalitch. “I was planning to spend the evening with you. Where did Zinaida Mihalovna go?”
“To the Sinitskys’, and I believe she meant to go from there to the monastery. I don’t quite know.”
“To the Sinitskys’, and I think she intended to go from there to the monastery. I'm not really sure.”
The police captain talked a little longer and then turned back. Pyotr Mihalitch walked home, and thought with horror what the police captain’s feelings would be when he learned the truth. And Pyotr Mihalitch imagined his feelings, and actually experiencing them himself, went into the house.
The police captain kept talking for a bit longer and then turned away. Pyotr Mihalitch walked home, horrified at what the police captain would feel when he found out the truth. Imagining those feelings and almost experiencing them himself, he went into the house.
“Lord help us,” he thought, “Lord help us!”
“God help us,” he thought, “God help us!”
At evening tea the only one at the table was his aunt. As usual, her face wore the expression that seemed to say that though she was a weak, defenceless woman, she would allow no one to insult her. Pyotr Mihalitch sat down at the other end of the table (he did not like his aunt) and began drinking tea in silence.
At evening tea, the only person at the table was his aunt. As usual, her face had that expression that seemed to say that even though she was a weak, defenseless woman, she'd let no one insult her. Pyotr Mihalitch sat down at the other end of the table (he didn't like his aunt) and started drinking tea silently.
“Your mother has had no dinner again to-day,” said his aunt. “You ought to do something about it, Petrusha. Starving oneself is no help in sorrow.”
“Your mom hasn’t had dinner again today,” said his aunt. “You should do something about it, Petrusha. Starving yourself won’t help with your sadness.”
It struck Pyotr Mihalitch as absurd that his aunt should meddle in other people’s business and should make her departure depend on Zina’s having gone away. He was tempted to say something rude to her, but restrained himself. And as he restrained himself he felt the time had come for action, and that he could not bear it any longer. Either he must act at once or fall on the ground, and scream and bang his head upon the floor. He pictured Vlassitch and Zina, both of them progressive and self-satisfied, kissing each other somewhere under a maple tree, and all the anger and bitterness that had been accumulating in him for the last seven days fastened upon Vlassitch.
It seemed ridiculous to Pyotr Mihalitch that his aunt would interfere in other people’s lives and make her departure depend on Zina leaving. He felt like saying something harsh to her, but he held back. As he did, he recognized that it was time to take action, and he couldn't stand it any longer. He either had to do something right away or collapse on the floor, scream, and bang his head against it. He imagined Vlassitch and Zina, both so self-satisfied and modern, kissing under a maple tree, and all the anger and resentment he had built up over the past seven days focused on Vlassitch.
“One has seduced and abducted my sister,” he thought, “another will come and murder my mother, a third will set fire to the house and sack the place. . . . And all this under the mask of friendship, lofty ideas, unhappiness!”
“One has tricked and kidnapped my sister,” he thought, “another will come and kill my mother, a third will burn down the house and loot the place. . . . And all this under the guise of friendship, noble intentions, and suffering!”
“No, it shall not be!” Pyotr Mihalitch cried suddenly, and he brought his fist down on the table.
“No, it won’t be!” Pyotr Mihalitch shouted suddenly, slamming his fist down on the table.
He jumped up and ran out of the dining-room. In the stable the steward’s horse was standing ready saddled. He got on it and galloped off to Vlassitch.
He jumped up and ran out of the dining room. In the stable, the steward’s horse was standing there, saddled and ready. He got on it and galloped off to Vlassitch.
There was a perfect tempest within him. He felt a longing to do something extraordinary, startling, even if he had to repent of it all his life afterwards. Should he call Vlassitch a blackguard, slap him in the face, and then challenge him to a duel? But Vlassitch was not one of those men who do fight duels; being called a blackguard and slapped in the face would only make him more unhappy, and would make him shrink into himself more than ever. These unhappy, defenceless people are the most insufferable, the most tiresome creatures in the world. They can do anything with impunity. When the luckless man responds to well-deserved reproach by looking at you with eyes full of deep and guilty feeling, and with a sickly smile bends his head submissively, even justice itself could not lift its hand against him.
There was a perfect storm inside him. He felt a desire to do something amazing, shocking, even if he had to regret it for the rest of his life. Should he call Vlassitch a jerk, slap him in the face, and then challenge him to a duel? But Vlassitch wasn’t one of those guys who actually fight duels; being called a jerk and slapped would only make him more miserable and withdraw even further into himself. These unhappy, defenseless people are the most unbearable, the most exhausting people in the world. They can get away with anything. When the unfortunate man reacts to well-deserved criticism by looking at you with deep remorse in his eyes, and with a weak smile lowers his head in submission, even justice itself can’t bring itself to act against him.
“No matter. I’ll horsewhip him before her eyes and tell him what I think of him,” Pyotr Mihalitch decided.
“No problem. I’ll whip him in front of her and tell him what I really think of him,” Pyotr Mihalitch decided.
He was riding through his wood and waste land, and he imagined Zina would try to justify her conduct by talking about the rights of women and individual freedom, and about there being no difference between legal marriage and free union. Like a woman, she would argue about what she did not understand. And very likely at the end she would ask, “How do you come in? What right have you to interfere?”
He was riding through his forest and undeveloped land, and he thought Zina would try to defend her actions by bringing up women's rights and personal freedom, claiming there was no real difference between legal marriage and free union. Like a typical woman, she would debate about things she didn't truly grasp. And most likely, in the end, she'd ask, “What’s your deal? What right do you have to get involved?”
“No, I have no right,” muttered Pyotr Mihalitch. “But so much the better. . . . The harsher I am, the less right I have to interfere, the better.”
“No, I have no right,” mumbled Pyotr Mihalitch. “But that’s actually a good thing. . . . The harsher I am, the less right I have to get involved, the better.”
It was sultry. Clouds of gnats hung over the ground and in the waste places the peewits called plaintively. Everything betokened rain, but he could not see a cloud in the sky. Pyotr Mihalitch crossed the boundary of his estate and galloped over a smooth, level field. He often went along this road and knew every bush, every hollow in it. What now in the far distance looked in the dusk like a dark cliff was a red church; he could picture it all down to the smallest detail, even the plaster on the gate and the calves that were always grazing in the church enclosure. Three-quarters of a mile to the right of the church there was a copse like a dark blur—it was Count Koltonovitch’s. And beyond the church Vlassitch’s estate began.
It was humid. Swarms of gnats hovered near the ground, and in the overgrown areas, the peewits called out sadly. Everything suggested rain, but he couldn’t see a single cloud in the sky. Pyotr Mihalitch crossed the edge of his estate and rode quickly over a flat, smooth field. He often took this path and knew every bush and dip along it. What now appeared in the distance as a dark cliff in the twilight was actually a red church; he could visualize it down to the smallest detail, including the plaster on the gate and the calves that were always grazing in the churchyard. Three-quarters of a mile to the right of the church was a thicket that looked like a dark smudge—it belonged to Count Koltonovitch. And past the church, Vlassitch’s estate started.
From behind the church and the count’s copse a huge black storm-cloud was rising, and there were ashes of white lightning.
From behind the church and the count's grove, a massive black storm cloud was forming, and there were flashes of white lightning.
“Here it is!” thought Pyotr Mihalitch. “Lord help us, Lord help us!”
“Here it is!” thought Pyotr Mihalitch. “Lord, help us, Lord, help us!”
The horse was soon tired after its quick gallop, and Pyotr Mihalitch was tired too. The storm-cloud looked at him angrily and seemed to advise him to go home. He felt a little scared.
The horse quickly got tired after its fast run, and Pyotr Mihalitch was tired too. The storm cloud glared at him and seemed to suggest he should head home. He felt a bit scared.
“I will prove to them they are wrong,” he tried to reassure himself. “They will say that it is free-love, individual freedom; but freedom means self-control and not subjection to passion. It’s not liberty but license!”
“I will show them they’re mistaken,” he tried to convince himself. “They will argue that it’s about free love and personal freedom; but true freedom involves self-control, not giving in to passion. It’s not liberty; it’s just license!”
He reached the count’s big pond; it looked dark blue and frowning under the cloud, and a smell of damp and slime rose from it. Near the dam, two willows, one old and one young, drooped tenderly towards one another. Pyotr Mihalitch and Vlassitch had been walking near this very spot only a fortnight before, humming a students’ song:
He arrived at the count’s large pond; it appeared dark blue and gloomy under the clouds, and a damp, slimy smell rose from it. Close to the dam, two willows, one old and one young, leaned gently towards each other. Pyotr Mihalitch and Vlassitch had walked near this same spot just two weeks ago, humming a student song:
“‘Youth is wasted, life is nought, when the heart is cold and loveless.’”
“‘Youth is wasted, life means nothing, when the heart is cold and loveless.’”
A wretched song!
A terrible song!
It was thundering as Pyotr Mihalitch rode through the copse, and the trees were bending and rustling in the wind. He had to make haste. It was only three-quarters of a mile through a meadow from the copse to Vlassitch’s house. Here there were old birch-trees on each side of the road. They had the same melancholy and unhappy air as their owner Vlassitch, and looked as tall and lanky as he. Big drops of rain pattered on the birches and on the grass; the wind had suddenly dropped, and there was a smell of wet earth and poplars. Before him he saw Vlassitch’s fence with a row of yellow acacias, which were tall and lanky too; where the fence was broken he could see the neglected orchard.
It was thundering as Pyotr Mihalitch rode through the thicket, and the trees were bending and rustling in the wind. He had to hurry. It was only three-quarters of a mile across a meadow from the thicket to Vlassitch’s house. Here, old birch trees lined each side of the road. They had the same sad and unhappy vibe as their owner, Vlassitch, and looked as tall and skinny as he did. Big drops of rain pattered on the birches and on the grass; the wind had suddenly calmed down, and there was a scent of wet earth and poplars. Ahead of him, he spotted Vlassitch’s fence with a row of yellow acacias, which were tall and skinny too; where the fence was broken, he could see the overgrown orchard.
Pyotr Mihalitch was not thinking now of the horsewhip or of a slap in the face, and did not know what he would do at Vlassitch’s. He felt nervous. He felt frightened on his own account and on his sister’s, and was terrified at the thought of seeing her. How would she behave with her brother? What would they both talk about? And had he not better go back before it was too late? As he made these reflections, he galloped up the avenue of lime-trees to the house, rode round the big clumps of lilacs, and suddenly saw Vlassitch.
Pyotr Mihalitch wasn’t thinking about the horsewhip or getting slapped in the face anymore, and he didn’t know what he would do at Vlassitch’s place. He felt anxious. He was scared for himself and for his sister, and he was terrified at the thought of seeing her. How would she act with her brother? What would they even talk about? Should he just turn back before it was too late? As he thought about all this, he rode quickly up the lime-tree avenue to the house, went around the big lilac bushes, and suddenly spotted Vlassitch.
Vlassitch, wearing a cotton shirt, and top-boots, bending forward, with no hat on in the rain, was coming from the corner of the house to the front door. He was followed by a workman with a hammer and a box of nails. They must have been mending a shutter which had been banging in the wind. Seeing Pyotr Mihalitch, Vlassitch stopped.
Vlassitch, in a cotton shirt and tall boots, leaning forward without a hat in the rain, was walking from the corner of the house to the front door. He was followed by a worker carrying a hammer and a box of nails. They must have been fixing a shutter that had been flapping in the wind. Spotting Pyotr Mihalitch, Vlassitch paused.
“It’s you!” he said, smiling. “That’s nice.”
“It’s you!” he said, smiling. “That’s great.”
“Yes, I’ve come, as you see,” said Pyotr Mihalitch, brushing the rain off himself with both hands.
“Yes, I've arrived, as you can see,” said Pyotr Mihalitch, wiping the rain off himself with both hands.
“Well, that’s capital! I’m very glad,” said Vlassitch, but he did not hold out his hand: evidently he did not venture, but waited for Pyotr Mihalitch to hold out his. “It will do the oats good,” he said, looking at the sky.
“Well, that’s great! I’m really glad,” said Vlassitch, but he didn’t reach out his hand: clearly, he didn’t feel comfortable and waited for Pyotr Mihalitch to extend his. “It will be good for the oats,” he said, looking up at the sky.
“Yes.”
"Yep."
They went into the house in silence. To the right of the hall was a door leading to another hall and then to the drawing-room, and on the left was a little room which in winter was used by the steward. Pyotr Mihalitch and Vlassitch went into this little room.
They entered the house quietly. To the right of the hallway was a door that led to another hallway and then to the living room, and to the left was a small room that was used by the steward in the winter. Pyotr Mihalitch and Vlassitch went into this small room.
“Where were you caught in the rain?”
“Where did you get caught in the rain?”
“Not far off, quite close to the house.”
“Not far away, really close to the house.”
Pyotr Mihalitch sat down on the bed. He was glad of the noise of the rain and the darkness of the room. It was better: it made it less dreadful, and there was no need to see his companion’s face. There was no anger in his heart now, nothing but fear and vexation with himself. He felt he had made a bad beginning, and that nothing would come of this visit.
Pyotr Mihalitch sat on the bed. He appreciated the sound of the rain and the darkness of the room. It was better this way; it made things less frightening, and he didn't have to see his companion's face. He no longer felt angry—just fear and frustration with himself. He sensed that he had started off on the wrong foot and that nothing good would come from this visit.
Both were silent for some time and affected to be listening to the rain.
Both were quiet for a while and pretended to be listening to the rain.
“Thank you, Petrusha,” Vlassitch began, clearing his throat. “I am very grateful to you for coming. It’s generous and noble of you. I understand it, and, believe me, I appreciate it. Believe me.”
“Thank you, Petrusha,” Vlassitch started, clearing his throat. “I really appreciate you coming. It’s so generous and kind of you. I get it, and trust me, I value it. Trust me.”
He looked out of the window and went on, standing in the middle of the room:
He looked out the window and continued speaking while standing in the middle of the room:
“Everything happened so secretly, as though we were concealing it all from you. The feeling that you might be wounded and angry has been a blot on our happiness all these days. But let me justify myself. We kept it secret not because we did not trust you. To begin with, it all happened suddenly, by a kind of inspiration; there was no time to discuss it. Besides, it’s such a private, delicate matter, and it was awkward to bring a third person in, even some one as intimate as you. Above all, in all this we reckoned on your generosity. You are a very noble and generous person. I am infinitely grateful to you. If you ever need my life, come and take it.”
“Everything happened so quietly, almost like we were hiding it all from you. The thought that you might be hurt and upset has been a shadow over our happiness these past days. But let me explain myself. We kept it a secret not because we didn’t trust you. It all started unexpectedly, almost as a flash of inspiration; there wasn’t time to talk it over. Plus, it’s such a personal, sensitive issue, and it felt awkward to involve a third person, even someone as close as you. Above all, we relied on your understanding. You are a truly kind and generous person. I am endlessly grateful to you. If you ever need anything from me, just ask.”
Vlassitch talked in a quiet, hollow bass, always on the same droning note; he was evidently agitated. Pyotr Mihalitch felt it was his turn to speak, and that to listen and keep silent would really mean playing the part of a generous and noble simpleton, and that had not been his idea in coming. He got up quickly and said, breathlessly in an undertone:
Vlassitch spoke in a quiet, hollow bass, always on the same monotonous tone; he was clearly upset. Pyotr Mihalitch sensed it was his turn to talk, and that staying silent would make him look like a generous and naive fool, which wasn’t what he intended when he came. He stood up quickly and said, breathlessly in a low voice:
“Listen, Grigory. You know I liked you and could have desired no better husband for my sister; but what has happened is awful! It’s terrible to think of it!”
“Listen, Grigory. You know I liked you and couldn't have asked for a better husband for my sister; but what has happened is awful! It’s terrible to think about!”
“Why is it terrible?” asked Vlassitch, with a quiver in his voice. “It would be terrible if we had done wrong, but that isn’t so.”
“Why is it terrible?” asked Vlassitch, his voice trembling. “It would be terrible if we had done something wrong, but that's not the case.”
“Listen, Grigory. You know I have no prejudices; but, excuse my frankness, to my mind you have both acted selfishly. Of course, I shan’t say so to my sister—it will distress her; but you ought to know: mother is miserable beyond all description.”
“Listen, Grigory. You know I don’t have any biases; but, to be honest, I think you both have acted selfishly. I won’t mention this to my sister—it would upset her; but you need to understand: Mom is incredibly unhappy.”
“Yes, that’s sad,” sighed Vlassitch. “We foresaw that, Petrusha, but what could we have done? Because one’s actions hurt other people, it doesn’t prove that they are wrong. What’s to be done! Every important step one takes is bound to distress somebody. If you went to fight for freedom, that would distress your mother, too. What’s to be done! Any one who puts the peace of his family before everything has to renounce the life of ideas completely.”
“Yes, that’s sad,” sighed Vlassitch. “We saw this coming, Petrusha, but what could we have done? Just because someone’s actions hurt others doesn’t mean they’re wrong. What can you do! Every major decision you make is bound to upset someone. If you went to fight for freedom, that would upset your mother as well. What can you do! Anyone who prioritizes their family's peace above everything else has to give up on the life of ideas completely.”
There was a vivid flash of lightning at the window, and the lightning seemed to change the course of Vlassitch’s thoughts. He sat down beside Pyotr Mihalitch and began saying what was utterly beside the point.
There was a bright flash of lightning at the window, and the lightning seemed to shift Vlassitch's thoughts. He sat down next to Pyotr Mihalitch and started talking about something completely unrelated.
“I have such a reverence for your sister, Petrusha,” he said. “When I used to come and see you, I felt as though I were going to a holy shrine, and I really did worship Zina. Now my reverence for her grows every day. For me she is something higher than a wife—yes, higher!” Vlassitch waved his hands. “She is my holy of holies. Since she is living with me, I enter my house as though it were a temple. She is an extraordinary, rare, most noble woman!”
“I have such deep respect for your sister, Petrusha,” he said. “When I used to come and see you, it felt like I was visiting a holy shrine, and I truly admired Zina. Now my respect for her increases every day. To me, she is more than just a wife—yes, more!” Vlassitch waved his hands. “She is my sacred treasure. Since she has been living with me, I enter my home as if it were a temple. She is an extraordinary, rare, incredibly noble woman!”
“Well, he’s off now!” thought Pyotr Mihalitch; he disliked the word “woman.”
“Well, he’s off now!” thought Pyotr Mihalitch; he didn’t like the word “woman.”
“Why shouldn’t you be married properly?” he asked. “How much does your wife want for a divorce?”
“Why shouldn’t you get married the right way?” he asked. “How much does your wife want for the divorce?”
“Seventy-five thousand.”
"75,000."
“It’s rather a lot. But if we were to negotiate with her?”
“It’s a bit much. But what if we negotiated with her?”
“She won’t take a farthing less. She is an awful woman, brother,” sighed Vlassitch. “I’ve never talked to you about her before—it was unpleasant to think of her; but now that the subject has come up, I’ll tell you about her. I married her on the impulse of the moment—a fine, honourable impulse. An officer in command of a battalion of our regiment—if you care to hear the details—had an affair with a girl of eighteen; that is, to put it plainly, he seduced her, lived with her for two months, and abandoned her. She was in an awful position, brother. She was ashamed to go home to her parents; besides, they wouldn’t have received her. Her lover had abandoned her; there was nothing left for her but to go to the barracks and sell herself. The other officers in the regiment were indignant. They were by no means saints themselves, but the baseness of it was so striking. Besides, no one in the regiment could endure the man. And to spite him, you understand, the indignant lieutenants and ensigns began getting up a subscription for the unfortunate girl. And when we subalterns met together and began to subscribe five or ten roubles each, I had a sudden inspiration. I felt it was an opportunity to do something fine. I hastened to the girl and warmly expressed my sympathy. And while I was on my way to her, and while I was talking to her, I loved her fervently as a woman insulted and injured. Yes. . . . Well, a week later I made her an offer. The colonel and my comrades thought my marriage out of keeping with the dignity of an officer. That roused me more than ever. I wrote a long letter, do you know, in which I proved that my action ought to be inscribed in the annals of the regiment in letters of gold, and so on. I sent the letter to my colonel and copies to my comrades. Well, I was excited, and, of course, I could not avoid being rude. I was asked to leave the regiment. I have a rough copy of it put away somewhere; I’ll give it to you to read sometime. It was written with great feeling. You will see what lofty and noble sentiments I was experiencing. I resigned my commission and came here with my wife. My father had left a few debts, I had no money, and from the first day my wife began making acquaintances, dressing herself smartly, and playing cards, and I was obliged to mortgage the estate. She led a bad life, you understand, and you are the only one of the neighbours who hasn’t been her lover. After two years I gave her all I had to set me free and she went off to town. Yes. . . . And now I pay her twelve hundred roubles a year. She is an awful woman! There is a fly, brother, which lays an egg in the back of a spider so that the spider can’t shake it off: the grub fastens upon the spider and drinks its heart’s blood. That was how this woman fastened upon me and sucks the blood of my heart. She hates and despises me for being so stupid; that is, for marrying a woman like her. My chivalry seems to her despicable. ‘A wise man cast me off,’ she says, ‘and a fool picked me up.’ To her thinking no one but a pitiful idiot could have behaved as I did. And that is insufferably bitter to me, brother. Altogether, I may say in parenthesis, fate has been hard upon me, very hard.”
“She won’t take a cent less. She’s a terrible woman, brother,” Vlassitch sighed. “I’ve never talked to you about her before—it was too unpleasant to think about her; but now that we’re on the subject, I’ll tell you about her. I married her on a whim—a noble impulse, really. An officer in charge of a battalion in our regiment—if you want to hear the details—had an affair with an eighteen-year-old girl; to put it bluntly, he seduced her, lived with her for two months, and then abandoned her. She was in a horrible position, brother. She was too ashamed to go home to her parents; besides, they wouldn’t have taken her back. Her lover had deserted her; she had no choice but to go to the barracks and sell herself. The other officers in the regiment were outraged. They weren’t saints themselves, but the cruelty of it stood out. Also, no one in the regiment could stand the guy. To spite him, you see, the outraged lieutenants and ensigns started a collection for the unfortunate girl. And when we subalterns got together and began chipping in five or ten roubles each, I suddenly felt inspired. I thought it was a chance to do something great. I rushed to the girl and sincerely expressed my sympathy. And as I was on my way to her, and while talking to her, I ardently loved her as a woman who had been insulted and wronged. Yes… A week later I proposed to her. The colonel and my comrades thought my marriage was beneath the dignity of an officer. That just fired me up even more. I wrote a long letter, you know, where I argued that my action should be recorded in the regiment's history in gold letters, and so on. I sent the letter to my colonel and copies to my comrades. Well, I was all worked up, and of course, I couldn’t help being rude. I was told to leave the regiment. I have a rough draft of that letter saved somewhere; I’ll let you read it sometime. It was written with a lot of emotion. You’ll see what lofty and noble feelings I was having. I resigned my commission and came here with my wife. My father had left some debts, I had no money, and from day one, my wife started making friends, dressing up nicely, and playing cards, which forced me to mortgage the estate. She lived a wild life, you understand, and you’re the only neighbor who hasn’t been her lover. After two years, I gave her everything I had to set me free, and she went off to the city. Yes… And now I pay her twelve hundred roubles a year. She’s a terrible woman! There’s a fly, brother, that lays an egg in the back of a spider so the spider can’t shake it off: the grub latches onto the spider and drinks its lifeblood. That’s how this woman attached herself to me and sucks the blood from my heart. She hates and looks down on me for being so foolish; that is, for marrying a woman like her. My chivalry seems pathetic to her. ‘A wise man cast me off,’ she says, ‘and a fool picked me up.’ In her eyes, only a pitiful idiot could have acted like I did. And that is incredibly bitter for me, brother. Overall, I can say in passing, fate has been really harsh on me, very harsh.”
Pyotr Mihalitch listened to Vlassitch and wondered in perplexity what it was in this man that had so charmed his sister. He was not young—he was forty-one—lean and lanky, narrow-chested, with a long nose, and grey hairs in his beard. He talked in a droning voice, had a sickly smile, and waved his hands awkwardly as he talked. He had neither health, nor pleasant, manly manners, nor savoir-faire, nor gaiety, and in all his exterior there was something colourless and indefinite. He dressed without taste, his surroundings were depressing, he did not care for poetry or painting because “they have no answer to give to the questions of the day” —that is, he did not understand them; music did not touch him. He was a poor farmer.
Pyotr Mihalitch listened to Vlassitch and wondered in confusion what it was about this man that had so enchanted his sister. He wasn't young—he was forty-one—lean and lanky, with a narrow chest, a long nose, and grey hairs in his beard. He spoke in a monotonous voice, had a sickly smile, and waved his hands awkwardly while talking. He possessed neither health, nor charming, masculine manners, nor social skills, nor cheerfulness, and his whole appearance was somewhat dull and vague. He dressed poorly, his surroundings were dreary, and he showed no interest in poetry or painting because “they don’t answer the questions of the day”—meaning he didn’t understand them; music didn’t resonate with him. He was a struggling farmer.
His estate was in a wretched condition and was mortgaged; he was paying twelve percent on the second mortgage and owed ten thousand on personal securities as well. When the time came to pay the interest on the mortgage or to send money to his wife, he asked every one to lend him money with as much agitation as though his house were on fire, and, at the same time losing his head, he would sell the whole of his winter store of fuel for five roubles and a stack of straw for three roubles, and then have his garden fence or old cucumber-frames chopped up to heat his stoves. His meadows were ruined by pigs, the peasants’ cattle strayed in the undergrowth in his woods, and every year the old trees were fewer and fewer: beehives and rusty pails lay about in his garden and kitchen-garden. He had neither talents nor abilities, nor even ordinary capacity for living like other people. In practical life he was a weak, naïve man, easy to deceive and to cheat, and the peasants with good reason called him “simple.”
His estate was in terrible shape and was under mortgage; he was paying twelve percent on the second mortgage and owed ten thousand on personal loans as well. When it was time to pay the mortgage interest or send money to his wife, he begged everyone to lend him money with as much urgency as if his house were on fire, and in his panic, he would sell all of his winter fuel for five roubles and a stack of straw for three roubles, then chop up his garden fence or old cucumber frames to heat his stoves. His meadows were destroyed by pigs, the peasants’ cattle wandered through the undergrowth in his woods, and each year, there were fewer old trees: beehives and rusty buckets were scattered around his garden and kitchen garden. He had no talents or skills, not even the basic ability to live like others. In practical terms, he was a weak, naïve man, easily fooled and taken advantage of, and the peasants rightfully called him “simple.”
He was a Liberal, and in the district was regarded as a “Red,” but even his progressiveness was a bore. There was no originality nor moving power about his independent views: he was revolted, indignant, and delighted always on the same note; it was always spiritless and ineffective. Even in moments of strong enthusiasm he never raised his head or stood upright. But the most tiresome thing of all was that he managed to express even his best and finest ideas so that they seemed in him commonplace and out of date. It reminded one of something old one had read long ago, when slowly and with an air of profundity he would begin discoursing of his noble, lofty moments, of his best years; or when he went into raptures over the younger generation, which has always been, and still is, in advance of society; or abused Russians for donning their dressing-gowns at thirty and forgetting the principles of their alma mater. If you stayed the night with him, he would put Pissarev or Darwin on your bedroom table; if you said you had read it, he would go and bring Dobrolubov.
He was a Liberal, and people in the district saw him as a “Red,” but even his progressiveness was dull. There was no originality or drive in his independent views: he was always upset, angry, and thrilled in the same boring way; it was always lifeless and ineffective. Even in moments of strong enthusiasm, he never lifted his head or stood tall. But the most tedious part was that he had a knack for making his best and greatest ideas sound so ordinary and outdated coming from him. It reminded you of something old you had read long ago when he would slowly and with an air of seriousness begin talking about his noble, elevated moments, about his best years; or when he would rave about the younger generation, who have always been ahead of society; or when he criticized Russians for wearing their bathrobes at thirty and forgetting the principles of their alma mater. If you stayed the night with him, he would put Pissarev or Darwin on your bedside table; if you said you had read it, he would go and get Dobrolubov.
In the district this was called free-thinking, and many people looked upon this free-thinking as an innocent and harmless eccentricity; it made him profoundly unhappy, however. It was for him the maggot of which he had just been speaking; it had fastened upon him and was sucking his life-blood. In his past there had been the strange marriage in the style of Dostoevsky; long letters and copies written in a bad, unintelligible hand-writing, but with great feeling, endless misunderstandings, explanations, disappointments, then debts, a second mortgage, the allowance to his wife, the monthly borrowing of money—and all this for no benefit to any one, either himself or others. And in the present, as in the past, he was still in a nervous flurry, on the lookout for heroic actions, and poking his nose into other people’s affairs; as before, at every favourable opportunity there were long letters and copies, wearisome, stereotyped conversations about the village community, or the revival of handicrafts or the establishment of cheese factories—conversations as like one another as though he had prepared them, not in his living brain, but by some mechanical process. And finally this scandal with Zina of which one could not see the end!
In the area, this was known as free-thinking, and many viewed it as an innocent and harmless quirk; however, it made him deeply unhappy. For him, it was the pest that he had just mentioned; it had latched onto him and was draining his spirit. In his past, there had been the strange marriage reminiscent of Dostoevsky's style; long letters and notes scrawled in messy, illegible writing, yet full of emotion, endless misunderstandings, explanations, disappointments, then debts, a second mortgage, an allowance for his wife, and the constant need to borrow money—none of this benefiting anyone, neither him nor others. And in the present, just like in the past, he was still anxious, always searching for heroic deeds, and meddling in other people's business; as before, at every opportunity, there were long letters and notes, tedious, formulaic chats about the village community, reviving crafts, or starting cheese factories—conversations so similar it felt like he had generated them, not from his own living mind, but through some automated process. And finally, there was this ongoing scandal with Zina that seemed to have no resolution!
And meanwhile Zina was young—she was only twenty-two—good-looking, elegant, gay; she was fond of laughing, chatter, argument, a passionate musician; she had good taste in dress, in furniture, in books, and in her own home she would not have put up with a room like this, smelling of boots and cheap vodka. She, too, had advanced ideas, but in her free-thinking one felt the overflow of energy, the vanity of a young, strong, spirited girl, passionately eager to be better and more original than others. . . . How had it happened that she had fallen in love with Vlassitch?
And meanwhile, Zina was young—only twenty-two—attractive, stylish, and cheerful; she loved to laugh, engage in conversation, argue, and was an enthusiastic musician. She had great taste in clothing, furniture, books, and in her own home, she wouldn't tolerate a room like this, which smelled of boots and cheap vodka. She also had progressive ideas, but her free-spiritedness revealed an overflow of energy, the confidence of a young, vibrant girl, eager to stand out and be more original than others. . . . How did she end up falling in love with Vlassitch?
“He is a Quixote, an obstinate fanatic, a maniac,” thought Pyotr Mihalitch, “and she is as soft, yielding, and weak in character as I am. . . . She and I give in easily, without resistance. She loves him; but, then, I, too, love him in spite of everything.”
“He’s a dreamer, stubborn and obsessed, a maniac,” thought Pyotr Mihalitch, “and she’s as gentle, compliant, and weak-willed as I am... We both give in easily, without putting up a fight. She loves him; but then, I love him too, despite everything.”
Pyotr Mihalitch considered Vlassitch a good, straightforward man, but narrow and one-sided. In his perturbations and his sufferings, and in fact in his whole life, he saw no lofty aims, remote or immediate; he saw nothing but boredom and incapacity for life. His self-sacrifice and all that Vlassitch himself called heroic actions or noble impulses seemed to him a useless waste of force, unnecessary blank shots which consumed a great deal of powder. And Vlassitch’s fanatical belief in the extraordinary loftiness and faultlessness of his own way of thinking struck him as naïve and even morbid; and the fact that Vlassitch all his life had contrived to mix the trivial with the exalted, that he had made a stupid marriage and looked upon it as an act of heroism, and then had affairs with other women and regarded that as a triumph of some idea or other was simply incomprehensible.
Pyotr Mihalitch thought Vlassitch was a good, honest guy, but also narrow-minded and one-dimensional. In his worries and suffering, and really throughout his entire life, he didn’t see any grand goals, whether far-off or immediate; he only saw boredom and an inability to truly live. To him, Vlassitch’s self-sacrifice and what Vlassitch called his heroic actions or noble impulses felt like a pointless waste of energy—unnecessary blank shots that used up a lot of resources. Vlassitch’s intense belief in the superiority and infallibility of his own thinking struck him as naive and even unhealthy; it was baffling that Vlassitch managed to blend the trivial with the significant throughout his life. He had made a foolish marriage and viewed it as an act of bravery, then had affairs with other women and considered that a victory of some kind—it just didn't make sense to him.
Nevertheless, Pyotr Mihalitch was fond of Vlassitch; he was conscious of a sort of power in him, and for some reason he had never had the heart to contradict him.
Nevertheless, Pyotr Mihalitch liked Vlassitch; he felt a kind of strength in him, and for some reason, he had never had the heart to go against him.
Vlassitch sat down quite close to him for a talk in the dark, to the accompaniment of the rain, and he had cleared his throat as a prelude to beginning on something lengthy, such as the history of his marriage. But it was intolerable for Pyotr Mihalitch to listen to him; he was tormented by the thought that he would see his sister directly.
Vlassitch sat down pretty close to him for a chat in the dark, with the sound of rain in the background, and he cleared his throat as a way to kick off something long, like the story of his marriage. But it was unbearable for Pyotr Mihalitch to listen to him; he was troubled by the thought that he would see his sister soon.
“Yes, you’ve had bad luck,” he said gently; “but, excuse me, we’ve been wandering from the point. That’s not what we are talking about.”
“Yes, you’ve had bad luck,” he said softly; “but, sorry, we’ve been going off-topic. That’s not what we’re discussing.”
“Yes, yes, quite so. Well, let us come back to the point,” said Vlassitch, and he stood up. “I tell you, Petrusha, our conscience is clear. We are not married, but there is no need for me to prove to you that our marriage is perfectly legitimate. You are as free in your ideas as I am, and, happily, there can be no disagreement between us on that point. As for our future, that ought not to alarm you. I’ll work in the sweat of my brow, I’ll work day and night— in fact, I will strain every nerve to make Zina happy. Her life will be a splendid one! You may ask, am I able to do it. I am, brother! When a man devotes every minute to one thought, it’s not difficult for him to attain his object. But let us go to Zina; it will be a joy to her to see you.”
“Yes, yes, exactly. Now, let’s get back to the point,” said Vlassitch, standing up. “I tell you, Petrusha, our conscience is clear. We’re not married, but I don’t need to prove to you that our marriage is completely legitimate. You’re as free in your beliefs as I am, and thankfully, we can agree on that. As for our future, you shouldn’t worry. I’ll work hard, day and night—I’ll do everything I can to make Zina happy. Her life will be amazing! You might ask if I can do it. I can, brother! When a man focuses all his energy on one goal, it’s not hard for him to achieve it. But let’s go see Zina; she’ll be so happy to see you.”
Pyotr Mihalitch’s heart began to beat. He got up and followed Vlassitch into the hall, and from there into the drawing-room. There was nothing in the huge gloomy room but a piano and a long row of old chairs ornamented with bronze, on which no one ever sat. There was a candle alight on the piano. From the drawing-room they went in silence into the dining-room. This room, too, was large and comfortless; in the middle of the room there was a round table with two leaves with six thick legs, and only one candle. A clock in a large mahogany case like an ikon stand pointed to half-past two.
Pyotr Mihalitch's heart started racing. He got up and followed Vlassitch into the hall, and from there into the living room. The large, dark room had nothing but a piano and a long line of old chairs decorated with bronze, which were rarely used. There was a candle lit on the piano. They moved quietly from the living room into the dining room. This room was also big and uncomfortable; in the middle stood a round table with two leaves supported by six thick legs, and only one candle flickered. A clock in a large mahogany case resembling an ikon stand showed half-past two.
Vlassitch opened the door into the next room and said:
Vlassitch opened the door to the next room and said:
“Zina, here is Petrusha come to see us!”
“Zina, look who’s come to see us—Petrusha!”
At once there was the sound of hurried footsteps and Zina came into the dining-room. She was tall, plump, and very pale, and, just as when he had seen her for the last time at home, she was wearing a black skirt and a red blouse, with a large buckle on her belt. She flung one arm round her brother and kissed him on the temple.
At that moment, the sound of quick footsteps filled the air, and Zina walked into the dining room. She was tall, plump, and very pale, just like the last time he had seen her at home. She wore a black skirt and a red blouse, with a big buckle on her belt. She threw one arm around her brother and kissed him on the temple.
“What a storm!” she said. “Grigory went off somewhere and I was left quite alone in the house.”
“What a storm!” she said. “Grigory went off somewhere, and I was left completely alone in the house.”
She was not embarrassed, and looked at her brother as frankly and candidly as at home; looking at her, Pyotr Mihalitch, too, lost his embarrassment.
She wasn't embarrassed and looked at her brother as openly and honestly as she did at home; seeing her, Pyotr Mihalitch also lost his embarrassment.
“But you are not afraid of storms,” he said, sitting down at the table.
“But you’re not afraid of storms,” he said, sitting down at the table.
“No,” she said, “but here the rooms are so big, the house is so old, and when there is thunder it all rattles like a cupboard full of crockery. It’s a charming house altogether,” she went on, sitting down opposite her brother. “There’s some pleasant memory in every room. In my room, only fancy, Grigory’s grandfather shot himself.”
“No,” she said, “but the rooms are really spacious here, the house is quite old, and when it thunders, everything shakes like a cupboard full of dishes. It’s an absolutely charming house,” she continued, sitting down across from her brother. “There’s a nice memory in every room. In my room, just imagine, Grigory’s grandfather shot himself.”
“In August we shall have the money to do up the lodge in the garden,” said Vlassitch.
“In August, we’ll have the money to fix up the lodge in the garden,” said Vlassitch.
“For some reason when it thunders I think of that grandfather,” Zina went on. “And in this dining-room somebody was flogged to death.”
“For some reason, when it thunders, I think of that grandfather,” Zina continued. “And in this dining room, someone was beaten to death.”
“That’s an actual fact,” said Vlassitch, and he looked with wide-open eyes at Pyotr Mihalitch. “Sometime in the forties this place was let to a Frenchman called Olivier. The portrait of his daughter is lying in an attic now—a very pretty girl. This Olivier, so my father told me, despised Russians for their ignorance and treated them with cruel derision. Thus, for instance, he insisted on the priest walking without his hat for half a mile round his house, and on the church bells being rung when the Olivier family drove through the village. The serfs and altogether the humble of this world, of course, he treated with even less ceremony. Once there came along this road one of the simple-hearted sons of wandering Russia, somewhat after the style of Gogol’s divinity student, Homa Brut. He asked for a night’s lodging, pleased the bailiffs, and was given a job at the office of the estate. There are many variations of the story. Some say the divinity student stirred up the peasants, others that Olivier’ s daughter fell in love with him. I don’t know which is true, only one fine evening Olivier called him in here and cross-examined him, then ordered him to be beaten. Do you know, he sat here at this table drinking claret while the stable-boys beat the man. He must have tried to wring something out of him. Towards morning the divinity student died of the torture and his body was hidden. They say it was thrown into Koltovitch’s pond. There was an inquiry, but the Frenchman paid some thousands to some one in authority and went away to Alsace. His lease was up just then, and so the matter ended.”
“That’s a fact,” said Vlassitch, looking wide-eyed at Pyotr Mihalitch. “Back in the forties, this place was rented out to a Frenchman named Olivier. The portrait of his daughter is up in the attic now—a very beautiful girl. This Olivier, according to my father, looked down on Russians for their ignorance and treated them with cruel mockery. For example, he made the priest walk without his hat for half a mile around his house and demanded that the church bells be rung whenever the Olivier family drove through the village. He treated the serfs and the less powerful people with even less respect. Once, a simple-hearted wanderer from Russia, somewhat like Gogol’s divinity student, Homa Brut, walked this road. He asked for a place to stay for the night, made the bailiffs happy, and got a job at the estate office. There are many versions of this story. Some say the divinity student stirred up the peasants, while others claim Olivier’s daughter fell in love with him. I can’t say what’s true, but I do know that one fine evening, Olivier brought him in here for questioning, then ordered him to be beaten. Can you believe he sat at this table drinking claret while the stable boys beat the man? He must have been trying to get something out of him. By morning, the divinity student died from the torture, and they hid his body. It’s said they threw it into Koltovitch’s pond. There was an investigation, but the Frenchman paid off some officials and left for Alsace. His lease was ending anyway, so that’s how it ended.”
“What scoundrels!” said Zina, shuddering.
“What jerks!” said Zina, shuddering.
“My father remembered Olivier and his daughter well. He used to say she was remarkably beautiful and eccentric. I imagine the divinity student had done both—stirred up the peasants and won the daughter’s heart. Perhaps he wasn’t a divinity student at all, but some one travelling incognito.”
“My father remembered Olivier and his daughter clearly. He often said she was incredibly beautiful and a bit eccentric. I can picture the divinity student stirring up the peasants and winning over the daughter’s heart. Maybe he wasn’t a divinity student at all, but someone traveling incognito.”
Zina grew thoughtful; the story of the divinity student and the beautiful French girl had evidently carried her imagination far away. It seemed to Pyotr Mihalitch that she had not changed in the least during the last week, except that she was a little paler. She looked calm and just as usual, as though she had come with her brother to visit Vlassitch. But Pyotr Mihalitch felt that some change had taken place in himself. Before, when she was living at home, he could have spoken to her about anything, and now he did not feel equal to asking her the simple question, “How do you like being here?” The question seemed awkward and unnecessary. Probably the same change had taken place in her. She was in no haste to turn the conversation to her mother, to her home, to her relations with Vlassitch; she did not defend herself, she did not say that free unions are better than marriages in the church; she was not agitated, and calmly brooded over the story of Olivier. . . . And why had they suddenly begun talking of Olivier?
Zina became thoughtful; the story of the theology student and the beautiful French girl had clearly taken her imagination far away. Pyotr Mihalitch felt that she hadn’t changed at all in the past week, except that she looked a bit paler. She appeared calm and just like usual, as if she had come with her brother to visit Vlassitch. But Pyotr Mihalitch sensed that something had shifted within him. When she lived at home, he could have talked to her about anything, but now he felt unable to ask her the simple question, “How do you like being here?” The question felt awkward and unnecessary. It was likely that she had experienced a similar change. She didn’t rush to bring up her mother, her home, or her relationship with Vlassitch; she didn’t defend herself, nor did she insist that free unions are better than church marriages; she was calm, lost in thought about the story of Olivier. . . . And why had they suddenly started talking about Olivier?
“You are both of you wet with the rain,” said Zina, and she smiled joyfully; she was touched by this point of resemblance between her brother and Vlassitch.
“You both are soaked from the rain,” Zina said with a cheerful smile; she was pleased by this similarity between her brother and Vlassitch.
And Pyotr Mihalitch felt all the bitterness and horror of his position. He thought of his deserted home, the closed piano, and Zina’s bright little room into which no one went now; he thought there were no prints of little feet on the garden-paths, and that before tea no one went off, laughing gaily, to bathe. What he had clung to more and more from his childhood upwards, what he had loved thinking about when he used to sit in the stuffy class-room or the lecture theatre—brightness, purity, and joy, everything that filled the house with life and light, had gone never to return, had vanished, and was mixed up with a coarse, clumsy story of some battalion officer, a chivalrous lieutenant, a depraved woman and a grandfather who had shot himself. . . . And to begin to talk about his mother or to think that the past could ever return would mean not understanding what was clear.
And Pyotr Mihalitch felt all the bitterness and horror of his situation. He thought about his empty home, the closed piano, and Zina’s bright little room that no one entered anymore; he realized there were no little footprints on the garden paths, and that before tea, no one left, laughing joyfully, to go swimming. What he had clung to more and more since childhood, what he had loved to think about while sitting in the stuffy classroom or lecture hall—brightness, purity, and joy, everything that filled the house with life and light—had disappeared, never to return, mixed up with a rough, clumsy story about some battalion officer, a chivalrous lieutenant, a corrupt woman, and a grandfather who had shot himself. . . . To start talking about his mother or to think that the past could ever come back would mean not understanding what was obvious.
Pyotr Mihalitch’s eyes filled with tears and his hand began to tremble as it lay on the table. Zina guessed what he was thinking about, and her eyes, too, glistened and looked red.
Pyotr Mihalitch's eyes filled with tears, and his hand started to shake as it rested on the table. Zina sensed what he was thinking, and her eyes shimmered and appeared red.
“Grigory, come here,” she said to Vlassitch.
“Grigory, come here,” she said to Vlassitch.
They walked away to the window and began talking of something in a whisper. From the way that Vlassitch stooped down to her and the way she looked at him, Pyotr Mihalitch realised again that everything was irreparably over, and that it was no use to talk of anything. Zina went out of the room.
They walked over to the window and started talking quietly. From how Vlassitch leaned down to her and the way she looked at him, Pyotr Mihalitch understood once more that everything was hopelessly finished, and that there was no point in discussing anything. Zina left the room.
“Well, brother!” Vlassitch began, after a brief silence, rubbing his hands and smiling. “I called our life happiness just now, but that was, so to speak, poetical license. In reality, there has not been a sense of happiness so far. Zina has been thinking all the time of you, of her mother, and has been worrying; looking at her, I, too, felt worried. Hers is a bold, free nature, but, you know, it’s difficult when you’re not used to it, and she is young, too. The servants call her ‘Miss’; it seems a trifle, but it upsets her. There it is, brother.”
“Well, brother!” Vlassitch started, after a brief pause, rubbing his hands and smiling. “I just referred to our life as happiness, but that was, you could say, poetic license. In reality, we haven't really felt happy so far. Zina has been constantly thinking about you, about her mother, and it's been stressing her out; seeing her, I started to feel stressed too. She has a bold, free spirit, but, you know, it’s tough when you’re not used to it, and she is young as well. The servants call her ‘Miss’; it may seem minor, but it really bothers her. There it is, brother.”
Zina brought in a plateful of strawberries. She was followed by a little maidservant, looking crushed and humble, who set a jug of milk on the table and made a very low bow: she had something about her that was in keeping with the old furniture, something petrified and dreary.
Zina carried in a plate of strawberries. She was followed by a young maid, looking defeated and modest, who placed a jug of milk on the table and bowed deeply: there was something about her that matched the old furniture, something hardened and gloomy.
The sound of the rain had ceased. Pyotr Mihalitch ate strawberries while Vlassitch and Zina looked at him in silence. The moment of the inevitable but useless conversation was approaching, and all three felt the burden of it. Pyotr Mihalitch’s eyes filled with tears again; he pushed away his plate and said that he must be going home, or it would be getting late, and perhaps it would rain again. The time had come when common decency required Zina to speak of those at home and of her new life.
The sound of the rain had stopped. Pyotr Mihalitch ate strawberries while Vlassitch and Zina watched him in silence. The moment for the unavoidable but pointless conversation was coming, and all three felt the weight of it. Pyotr Mihalitch’s eyes filled with tears again; he pushed his plate away and said he needed to head home, or it would get late, and maybe it would rain again. The time had come when basic decency required Zina to talk about those at home and her new life.
“How are things at home?” she asked rapidly, and her pale face quivered. “How is mother?”
“How are things at home?” she asked quickly, and her pale face trembled. “How is mom?”
“You know mother . . .” said Pyotr Mihalitch, not looking at her.
“You know, Mom . . .” said Pyotr Mihalitch, not looking at her.
“Petrusha, you’ve thought a great deal about what has happened,” she said, taking hold of her brother’s sleeve, and he knew how hard it was for her to speak. “You’ve thought a great deal: tell me, can we reckon on mother’s accepting Grigory . . . and the whole position, one day?”
“Petrusha, you’ve been thinking a lot about what happened,” she said, grabbing her brother’s sleeve, and he could tell how difficult it was for her to talk. “You’ve been thinking a lot: tell me, can we expect mom to accept Grigory... and everything else, eventually?”
She stood close to her brother, face to face with him, and he was astonished that she was so beautiful, and that he seemed not to have noticed it before. And it seemed to him utterly absurd that his sister, so like his mother, pampered, elegant, should be living with Vlassitch and in Vlassitch’s house, with the petrified servant, and the table with six legs—in the house where a man had been flogged to death, and that she was not going home with him, but was staying here to sleep.
She stood close to her brother, face to face with him, and he was amazed by how beautiful she was, realizing he hadn’t noticed it before. It struck him as completely ridiculous that his sister, so much like their mother—spoiled, graceful—was living with Vlassitch in his house, with the rigid servant and the table with six legs—where a man had been beaten to death—and that she wasn’t going home with him but was choosing to stay here to sleep.
“You know mother,” he said, not answering her question. “I think you ought to have . . . to do something, to ask her forgiveness or something. . . .”
“You know, mom,” he said, avoiding her question. “I think you should . . . do something, ask for her forgiveness or something . . .”
“But to ask her forgiveness would mean pretending we had done wrong. I’m ready to tell a lie to comfort mother, but it won’t lead anywhere. I know mother. Well, what will be, must be!” said Zina, growing more cheerful now that the most unpleasant had been said. “We’ll wait for five years, ten years, and be patient, and then God’s will be done.”
“But asking for her forgiveness would mean acting like we did something wrong. I’m willing to lie to make mom feel better, but it won’t change anything. I know mom. Well, what will be, will be!” said Zina, starting to feel more upbeat now that the hardest part was over. “We’ll wait for five years, ten years, and be patient, and then whatever happens, happens.”
She took her brother’s arm, and when she walked through the dark hall she squeezed close to him. They went out on the steps. Pyotr Mihalitch said good-bye, got on his horse, and set off at a walk; Zina and Vlassitch walked a little way with him. It was still and warm, with a delicious smell of hay; stars were twinkling brightly between the clouds. Vlassitch’s old garden, which had seen so many gloomy stories in its time, lay slumbering in the darkness, and for some reason it was mournful riding through it.
She took her brother's arm, and as they walked through the dark hallway, she pressed close to him. They stepped outside onto the porch. Pyotr Mihalitch said goodbye, mounted his horse, and started riding slowly away; Zina and Vlassitch walked a little way with him. It was still and warm, with a lovely scent of hay; stars were shining brightly between the clouds. Vlassitch's old garden, which had witnessed so many sad tales over the years, lay asleep in the darkness, and for some reason, it felt sorrowful to ride through it.
“Zina and I to-day after dinner spent some really exalted moments,” said Vlassitch. “I read aloud to her an excellent article on the question of emigration. You must read it, brother! You really must. It’s remarkable for its lofty tone. I could not resist writing a letter to the editor to be forwarded to the author. I wrote only a single line: ‘I thank you and warmly press your noble hand.’”
“Zina and I had some truly uplifting moments today after dinner,” said Vlassitch. “I read her an excellent article about emigration. You really have to read it, brother! You absolutely must. It’s impressive for its elevated tone. I couldn’t help but write a letter to the editor to be sent to the author. I wrote just a single line: ‘Thank you, and I warmly shake your noble hand.’”
Pyotr Mihalitch was tempted to say, “Don’t meddle in what does not concern you,” but he held his tongue.
Pyotr Mihalitch was tempted to say, “Stay out of things that aren’t your business,” but he kept quiet.
Vlassitch walked by his right stirrup and Zina by the left; both seemed to have forgotten that they had to go home. It was damp, and they had almost reached Koltovitch’s copse. Pyotr Mihalitch felt that they were expecting something from him, though they hardly knew what it was, and he felt unbearably sorry for them. Now as they walked by the horse with submissive faces, lost in thought, he had a deep conviction that they were unhappy, and could not be happy, and their love seemed to him a melancholy, irreparable mistake. Pity and the sense that he could do nothing to help them reduced him to that state of spiritual softening when he was ready to make any sacrifice to get rid of the painful feeling of sympathy.
Vlassitch walked by his right stirrup and Zina by the left; both seemed to have forgotten that they needed to go home. It was damp, and they had almost reached Koltovitch’s grove. Pyotr Mihalitch sensed that they were expecting something from him, even though they hardly knew what it was, and he felt incredibly sorry for them. As they walked past the horse with downcast faces, lost in thought, he was convinced that they were unhappy and could never be happy, and their love struck him as a sad, irreparable mistake. The pity he felt and the realization that he could do nothing to help them left him in a state of emotional vulnerability, making him ready to make any sacrifice just to escape the painful feeling of sympathy.
“I’ll come over sometimes for a night,” he said.
“I’ll come over sometimes for a night,” he said.
But it sounded as though he were making a concession, and did not satisfy him. When they stopped near Koltovitch’s copse to say good-bye, he bent down to Zina, touched her shoulder, and said:
But it sounded like he was giving in, and it didn't satisfy him. When they stopped near Koltovitch’s grove to say goodbye, he bent down to Zina, touched her shoulder, and said:
“You are right, Zina! You have done well.” To avoid saying more and bursting into tears, he lashed his horse and galloped into the wood. As he rode into the darkness, he looked round and saw Vlassitch and Zina walking home along the road—he taking long strides, while she walked with a hurried, jerky step beside him—talking eagerly about something.
“You’re right, Zina! You did great.” To keep from saying more and breaking down, he whipped his horse and rode off into the woods. As he entered the darkness, he looked back and saw Vlassitch and Zina walking home along the road—he taking long strides while she hurried beside him with a quick, jerky step—talking excitedly about something.
“I am an old woman!” thought Pyotr Mihalitch. “I went to solve the question and I have only made it more complicated—there it is!”
“I’m an old woman!” thought Pyotr Mihalitch. “I set out to solve the problem, and all I’ve done is make it more complicated—there it is!”
He was heavy at heart. When he got out of the copse he rode at a walk and then stopped his horse near the pond. He wanted to sit and think without moving. The moon was rising and was reflected in a streak of red on the other side of the pond. There were low rumbles of thunder in the distance. Pyotr Mihalitch looked steadily at the water and imagined his sister’s despair, her martyr-like pallor, the tearless eyes with which she would conceal her humiliation from others. He imagined her with child, imagined the death of their mother, her funeral, Zina’s horror. . . . The proud, superstitious old woman would be sure to die of grief. Terrible pictures of the future rose before him on the background of smooth, dark water, and among pale feminine figures he saw himself, a weak, cowardly man with a guilty face.
He felt heavy-hearted. When he left the grove, he rode slowly and then stopped his horse near the pond. He wanted to sit and think without moving. The moon was rising and reflected a streak of red on the opposite side of the pond. There were distant rumbles of thunder. Pyotr Mihalitch gazed steadily at the water and imagined his sister’s despair, her martyr-like paleness, the tearless eyes with which she would hide her humiliation from others. He pictured her being pregnant, imagined the death of their mother, her funeral, Zina’s horror... The proud, superstitious old woman would surely die of grief. Terrible visions of the future surfaced against the backdrop of the smooth, dark water, and among pale feminine figures, he saw himself as a weak, cowardly man with a guilty expression.
A hundred paces off on the right bank of the pond, something dark was standing motionless: was it a man or a tall post? Pyotr Mihalitch thought of the divinity student who had been killed and thrown into the pond.
A hundred steps away on the right side of the pond, something dark was standing still: was it a person or a tall post? Pyotr Mihalitch thought about the theology student who had been killed and dumped into the pond.
“Olivier behaved inhumanly, but one way or another he did settle the question, while I have settled nothing and have only made it worse,” he thought, gazing at the dark figure that looked like a ghost. “He said and did what he thought right while I say and do what I don’t think right; and I don’t know really what I do think. . . .”
“Olivier acted cruelly, but somehow he resolved the issue, while I haven’t resolved anything and just made it worse,” he thought, staring at the dark figure that resembled a ghost. “He said and did what he believed was right, while I say and do what I don’t think is right; and I don’t really know what I actually think. . . .”
He rode up to the dark figure: it was an old rotten post, the relic of some shed.
He rode up to the dark figure: it was an old, decayed post, the remnant of some shed.
From Koltovitch’s copse and garden there came a strong fragrant scent of lilies of the valley and honey-laden flowers. Pyotr Mihalitch rode along the bank of the pond and looked mournfully into the water. And thinking about his life, he came to the conclusion he had never said or acted upon what he really thought, and other people had repaid him in the same way. And so the whole of life seemed to him as dark as this water in which the night sky was reflected and water-weeds grew in a tangle. And it seemed to him that nothing could ever set it right.
From Koltovitch’s grove and garden, there was a strong, sweet scent of lilies of the valley and flowers rich with honey. Pyotr Mihalitch rode along the edge of the pond, gazing wistfully into the water. As he reflected on his life, he realized he had never truly said or acted on what he really felt, and others had treated him the same way. To him, life felt as bleak as the dark water, where the night sky was mirrored and tangled water weeds thrived. It seemed to him that nothing could ever make things right.
AT HOME
I
THE Don railway. A quiet, cheerless station, white and solitary in the steppe, with its walls baking in the sun, without a speck of shade, and, it seems, without a human being. The train goes on after leaving one here; the sound of it is scarcely audible and dies away at last. Outside the station it is a desert, and there are no horses but one’s own. One gets into the carriage—which is so pleasant after the train—and is borne along the road through the steppe, and by degrees there are unfolded before one views such as one does not see near Moscow—immense, endless, fascinating in their monotony. The steppe, the steppe, and nothing more; in the distance an ancient barrow or a windmill; ox-waggons laden with coal trail by. . . . Solitary birds fly low over the plain, and a drowsy feeling comes with the monotonous beat of their wings. It is hot. Another hour or so passes, and still the steppe, the steppe, and still in the distance the barrow. The driver tells you something, some long unnecessary tale, pointing into the distance with his whip. And tranquillity takes possession of the soul; one is loth to think of the past. . . .
THE Don railway. A quiet, dreary station, pale and alone in the steppe, its walls baking in the sun, without a single spot of shade, and seemingly without a soul in sight. The train leaves, and its sound barely registers before fading away completely. Outside the station, it’s a wasteland, and there are no horses but your own. You get into the carriage, which feels so nice after the train ride, and you're driven along the road through the steppe, revealing views that you wouldn't see near Moscow—vast, endless, captivating in their uniformity. The steppe, the steppe, and nothing else; in the distance, there’s an ancient burial mound or a windmill; ox-drawn wagons loaded with coal pass by. . . . Lonely birds fly low over the plain, bringing a drowsy sensation with the steady rhythm of their wings. It's hot. Another hour goes by, and still just the steppe, the steppe, and the barrow in the distance. The driver shares some lengthy, pointless story, pointing into the distance with his whip. And peace settles into the soul; you’re reluctant to think about the past. . . .
A carriage with three horses had been sent to fetch Vera Ivanovna Kardin. The driver put in her luggage and set the harness to rights.
A carriage pulled by three horses had been sent to pick up Vera Ivanovna Kardin. The driver loaded her luggage and adjusted the harness.
“Everything just as it always has been,” said Vera, looking about her. “I was a little girl when I was here last, ten years ago. I remember old Boris came to fetch me then. Is he still living, I wonder?”
“Everything is just as it always has been,” Vera said, looking around. “I was a little girl the last time I was here, ten years ago. I remember old Boris came to get me then. I wonder if he’s still alive?”
The driver made no reply, but, like a Little Russian, looked at her angrily and clambered on to the box.
The driver didn't respond, but, like a Little Russian, shot her an angry look and climbed onto the box.
It was a twenty-mile drive from the station, and Vera, too, abandoned herself to the charm of the steppe, forgot the past, and thought only of the wide expanse, of the freedom. Healthy, clever, beautiful, and young—she was only three-and-twenty—she had hitherto lacked nothing in her life but just this space and freedom.
It was a twenty-mile drive from the station, and Vera, too, gave in to the charm of the steppe. She forgot the past and thought only of the wide expanse and the freedom. Healthy, smart, beautiful, and young—she was only twenty-three—she had lacked nothing in her life until now except for this space and freedom.
The steppe, the steppe. . . . The horses trotted, the sun rose higher and higher; and it seemed to Vera that never in her childhood had the steppe been so rich, so luxuriant in June; the wild flowers were green, yellow, lilac, white, and a fragrance rose from them and from the warmed earth; and there were strange blue birds along the roadside. . . . Vera had long got out of the habit of praying, but now, struggling with drowsiness, she murmured:
The steppe, the steppe... The horses trotted, the sun climbed higher and higher; and it felt to Vera that never in her childhood had the steppe been so lush, so vibrant in June; the wildflowers were green, yellow, lilac, white, and a sweet scent rose from them and from the warm earth; and there were unusual blue birds along the roadside... Vera had long stopped praying, but now, fighting off sleep, she murmured:
“Lord, grant that I may be happy here.”
“God, please let me be happy here.”
And there was peace and sweetness in her soul, and she felt as though she would have been glad to drive like that all her life, looking at the steppe.
And there was peace and happiness in her soul, and she felt like she could have happily driven like that all her life, gazing at the steppe.
Suddenly there was a deep ravine overgrown with oak saplings and alder-trees; there was a moist feeling in the air—there must have been a spring at the bottom. On the near side, on the very edge of the ravine, a covey of partridges rose noisily. Vera remembered that in old days they used to go for evening walks to this ravine; so it must be near home! And now she could actually see the poplars, the barn, black smoke rising on one side—they were burning old straw. And there was Auntie Dasha coming to meet her and waving her handkerchief; grandfather was on the terrace. Oh dear, how happy she was!
Suddenly, there was a deep ravine filled with oak saplings and alder trees; the air felt damp—there must have been a spring at the bottom. On the near side, right at the edge of the ravine, a group of partridges flew up loudly. Vera remembered that in the past they used to take evening walks to this ravine; it had to be close to home! Now she could actually see the poplars, the barn, and black smoke rising on one side—they were burning old straw. And there was Auntie Dasha coming to meet her, waving her handkerchief; Grandfather was on the terrace. Oh, how happy she was!
“My darling, my darling!” cried her aunt, shrieking as though she were in hysterics. “Our real mistress has come! You must understand you are our mistress, you are our queen! Here everything is yours! My darling, my beauty, I am not your aunt, but your willing slave!”
“Sweetheart, sweetheart!” her aunt yelled, sounding like she was having a fit. “Our true mistress has arrived! You need to realize that you are our mistress, you are our queen! Everything here belongs to you! My darling, my beauty, I’m not your aunt, but your eager servant!”
Vera had no relations but her aunt and her grandfather; her mother had long been dead; her father, an engineer, had died three months before at Kazan, on his way from Siberia. Her grandfather had a big grey beard. He was stout, red-faced, and asthmatic, and walked leaning on a cane and sticking his stomach out. Her aunt, a lady of forty-two, drawn in tightly at the waist and fashionably dressed with sleeves high on the shoulder, evidently tried to look young and was still anxious to be charming; she walked with tiny steps with a wriggle of her spine.
Vera had no family except for her aunt and grandfather; her mother had passed away a long time ago, and her father, an engineer, had died three months earlier in Kazan on his way back from Siberia. Her grandfather had a big gray beard. He was plump, red-faced, and had asthma, walking with a cane and sticking his stomach out. Her aunt, a 42-year-old woman, was tightly cinched at the waist and dressed fashionably with sleeves that were high on the shoulders. She clearly tried to look younger and still wanted to be charming; she walked with tiny steps, her spine wriggling as she moved.
“Will you love us?” she said, embracing Vera, “You are not proud?”
“Will you love us?” she asked, hugging Vera. “You’re not proud, right?”
At her grandfather’s wish there was a thanksgiving service, then they spent a long while over dinner—and Vera’s new life began. She was given the best room. All the rugs in the house had been put in it, and a great many flowers; and when at night she lay down in her snug, wide, very soft bed and covered herself with a silk quilt that smelt of old clothes long stored away, she laughed with pleasure. Auntie Dasha came in for a minute to wish her good-night.
At her grandfather's request, they held a thanksgiving service, and then they spent a long time at dinner—and Vera's new life began. She got the best room. All the rugs in the house were placed in it, along with a lot of flowers; and when she lay down at night in her cozy, spacious, very soft bed and covered herself with a silk quilt that smelled like old clothes that had been stored away for a long time, she laughed with delight. Auntie Dasha came in for a minute to wish her good night.
“Here you are home again, thank God,” she said, sitting down on the bed. “As you see, we get along very well and have everything we want. There’s only one thing: your grandfather is in a poor way! A terribly poor way! He is short of breath and he has begun to lose his memory. And you remember how strong, how vigorous, he used to be! There was no doing anything with him. . . . In old days, if the servants didn’t please him or anything else went wrong, he would jump up at once and shout: ‘Twenty-five strokes! The birch!’ But now he has grown milder and you never hear him. And besides, times are changed, my precious; one mayn’t beat them nowadays. Of course, they oughtn’t to be beaten, but they need looking after.”
“Here you are home again, thank goodness,” she said, sitting down on the bed. “As you can see, we’re getting along really well and have everything we need. There’s just one thing: your grandfather isn’t doing well! He’s in really bad shape! He’s short of breath and has started to lose his memory. And remember how strong and full of life he used to be! Nothing could stop him. . . . Back in the day, if the servants upset him or anything else went wrong, he would jump up immediately and shout: ‘Twenty-five strokes! The birch!’ But now he’s become gentler and you hardly hear him. Also, times have changed, my dear; you can’t beat them nowadays. Of course, they shouldn’t be beaten, but they need proper care.”
“And are they beaten now, auntie?” asked Vera.
“And are they losing now, auntie?” asked Vera.
“The steward beats them sometimes, but I never do, bless their hearts! And your grandfather sometimes lifts his stick from old habit, but he never beats them.”
“The steward sometimes hits them, but I never do, bless their hearts! And your grandfather occasionally raises his stick out of habit, but he never hits them.”
Auntie Dasha yawned and crossed herself over her mouth and her right ear.
Auntie Dasha yawned and crossed herself over her mouth and right ear.
“It’s not dull here?” Vera inquired.
“It’s not boring here?” Vera asked.
“What shall I say? There are no landowners living here now, but there have been works built near, darling, and there are lots of engineers, doctors, and mine managers. Of course, we have theatricals and concerts, but we play cards more than anything. They come to us, too. Dr. Neshtchapov from the works comes to see us—such a handsome, interesting man! He fell in love with your photograph. I made up my mind: he is Verotchka’s destiny, I thought. He’s young, handsome, he has means—a good match, in fact. And of course you’re a match for any one. You’re of good family. The place is mortgaged, it’s true, but it’s in good order and not neglected; there is my share in it, but it will all come to you; I am your willing slave. And my brother, your father, left you fifteen thousand roubles. . . . But I see you can’t keep your eyes open. Sleep, my child.”
“What should I say? There are no landowners living here now, but there are works built nearby, sweetheart, and there are plenty of engineers, doctors, and mine managers. We have theater performances and concerts, but we mainly play cards. They come to visit us too. Dr. Neshtchapov from the works comes to see us—such a handsome, interesting guy! He fell in love with your photograph. I decided: he is Verotchka’s destiny, I thought. He’s young, attractive, and has money—a great match, really. And of course, you’re a catch for anyone. You come from a good family. The place is mortgaged, that’s true, but it's in good condition and not neglected; I have my share in it, but it will all go to you; I am your willing servant. And my brother, your father, left you fifteen thousand roubles... But I see you can’t keep your eyes open. Sleep, my child.”
Next day Vera spent a long time walking round the house. The garden, which was old and unattractive, lying inconveniently upon the slope, had no paths, and was utterly neglected; probably the care of it was regarded as an unnecessary item in the management. There were numbers of grass-snakes. Hoopoes flew about under the trees calling “Oo-too-toot!” as though they were trying to remind her of something. At the bottom of the hill there was a river overgrown with tall reeds, and half a mile beyond the river was the village. From the garden Vera went out into the fields; looking into the distance, thinking of her new life in her own home, she kept trying to grasp what was in store for her. The space, the lovely peace of the steppe, told her that happiness was near at hand, and perhaps was here already; thousands of people, in fact, would have said: “What happiness to be young, healthy, well-educated, to be living on one’s own estate!” And at the same time the endless plain, all alike, without one living soul, frightened her, and at moments it was clear to her that its peaceful green vastness would swallow up her life and reduce it to nothingness. She was very young, elegant, fond of life; she had finished her studies at an aristocratic boarding-school, had learnt three languages, had read a great deal, had travelled with her father—and could all this have been meant to lead to nothing but settling down in a remote country-house in the steppe, and wandering day after day from the garden into the fields and from the fields into the garden to while away the time, and then sitting at home listening to her grandfather’s breathing? But what could she do? Where could she go? She could find no answer, and as she was returning home she doubted whether she would be happy here, and thought that driving from the station was far more interesting than living here.
The next day, Vera spent a long time walking around the house. The garden, old and unattractive, awkwardly situated on a slope, had no paths and was completely neglected; caring for it was probably seen as an unnecessary part of the upkeep. There were lots of grass snakes, and hoopoes flew around under the trees, calling “Oo-too-toot!” as if trying to remind her of something. At the bottom of the hill, there was a river choked with tall reeds, and half a mile beyond the river lay the village. Vera stepped from the garden into the fields; gazing into the distance and thinking about her new life in her own home, she kept trying to figure out what was ahead for her. The wide-open space and the beautiful peace of the steppe suggested that happiness was close by, maybe even already here; thousands of people would have said, “What happiness to be young, healthy, educated, and living on your own estate!” Yet at the same time, the endless plain, uniform and devoid of life, scared her, and at times it struck her that its peaceful green expanse would swallow her up and reduce her existence to nothing. She was very young, elegant, and loved life; she had finished her studies at an elite boarding school, learned three languages, read a lot, and traveled with her father—and could all this really be leading to nothing but settling into a remote country house in the steppe, drifting day after day between the garden and the fields just to pass the time, and then sitting at home listening to her grandfather breathe? But what could she do? Where could she go? She couldn’t find any answers, and as she made her way back home, she questioned whether she would be happy here, thinking that the ride from the station was far more interesting than living in this place.
Dr. Neshtchapov drove over from the works. He was a doctor, but three years previously he had taken a share in the works, and had become one of the partners; and now he no longer looked upon medicine as his chief vocation, though he still practised. In appearance he was a pale, dark man in a white waistcoat, with a good figure; but to guess what there was in his heart and his brain was difficult. He kissed Auntie Dasha’s hand on greeting her, and was continually leaping up to set a chair or give his seat to some one. He was very silent and grave all the while, and, when he did speak, it was for some reason impossible to hear and understand his first sentence, though he spoke correctly and not in a low voice.
Dr. Neshtchapov drove over from the factory. He was a doctor, but three years ago he became a partner in the business and no longer saw medicine as his main career, even though he still practiced. He was a pale, dark man wearing a white waistcoat with a good build; however, it was hard to tell what he was really thinking or feeling. He kissed Auntie Dasha’s hand when he greeted her and kept getting up to offer his chair or to set one for someone else. He was very quiet and serious the whole time, and when he did talk, the first sentence was somehow difficult to hear and understand, even though he spoke clearly and not quietly.
“You play the piano?” he asked Vera, and immediately leapt up, as she had dropped her handkerchief.
“You play the piano?” he asked Vera, and he immediately jumped up as she had dropped her handkerchief.
He stayed from midday to midnight without speaking, and Vera found him very unattractive. She thought that a white waistcoat in the country was bad form, and his elaborate politeness, his manners, and his pale, serious face with dark eyebrows, were mawkish; and it seemed to her that he was perpetually silent, probably because he was stupid. When he had gone her aunt said enthusiastically:
He stayed from noon to midnight without saying a word, and Vera found him really unattractive. She felt that wearing a white waistcoat in the countryside was in bad taste, and his excessive politeness, his manners, and his pale, serious face with dark eyebrows came off as too sentimental; it seemed to her that he was always quiet, probably because he was dull. After he left, her aunt said enthusiastically:
“Well? Isn’t he charming?”
"Well? Isn't he attractive?"
II
Auntie Dasha looked after the estate. Tightly laced, with jingling bracelets on her wrists, she went into the kitchen, the granary, the cattle-yard, tripping along with tiny steps, wriggling her spine; and whenever she talked to the steward or to the peasants, she used, for some reason, to put on a pince-nez. Vera’s grandfather always sat in the same place, playing patience or dozing. He ate a very great deal at dinner and supper; they gave him the dinner cooked to-day and what was left from yesterday, and cold pie left from Sunday, and salt meat from the servants’ dinner, and he ate it all greedily. And every dinner left on Vera such an impression, that when she saw afterwards a flock of sheep driven by, or flour being brought from the mill, she thought, “Grandfather will eat that.” For the most part he was silent, absorbed in eating or in patience; but it sometimes happened at dinner that at the sight of Vera he would be touched and say tenderly:
Auntie Dasha managed the estate. Dressed tightly with jingling bracelets on her wrists, she entered the kitchen, the granary, and the cattle-yard, bouncing along with tiny steps, swaying her back; and whenever she spoke to the steward or the peasants, for some reason, she would put on a pince-nez. Vera’s grandfather always sat in the same spot, playing solitaire or dozing off. He ate a lot during lunch and dinner; they served him the meal cooked that day along with leftovers from the day before, cold pie from Sunday, and salt meat from the servants’ meal, and he devoured it all eagerly. Every meal left such an impression on Vera that when she later saw a flock of sheep being herded or flour being brought from the mill, she thought, “Grandfather will eat that.” Most of the time, he was quiet, focused on eating or his cards; but sometimes at dinner, when he saw Vera, he would be moved and say affectionately:
“My only grandchild! Verotchka!”
"My only grandkid! Verotchka!"
And tears would glisten in his eyes. Or his face would turn suddenly crimson, his neck would swell, he would look with fury at the servants, and ask, tapping with his stick:
And tears would shine in his eyes. Or his face would suddenly turn red, his neck would bulge, he would glare at the servants, and ask, tapping with his cane:
“Why haven’t you brought the horse-radish?”
“Why haven't you brought the horseradish?”
In winter he led a perfectly inactive existence; in summer he sometimes drove out into the fields to look at the oats and the hay; and when he came back he would flourish his stick and declare that everything was neglected now that he was not there to look after it.
In winter, he lived a completely inactive life; in summer, he would occasionally drive out to the fields to check on the oats and hay. When he returned, he would wave his stick and insist that everything was going to waste now that he wasn't around to take care of it.
“Your grandfather is out of humour,” Auntie Dasha would whisper. “But it’s nothing now to what it used to be in the old days: ‘Twenty-five strokes! The birch!’”
“Your grandfather is in a bad mood,” Auntie Dasha would whisper. “But it’s nothing compared to how it used to be back in the day: ‘Twenty-five strokes! The birch!’”
Her aunt complained that every one had grown lazy, that no one did anything, and that the estate yielded no profit. Indeed, there was no systematic farming; they ploughed and sowed a little simply from habit, and in reality did nothing and lived in idleness. Meanwhile there was a running to and fro, reckoning and worrying all day long; the bustle in the house began at five o’clock in the morning; there were continual sounds of “Bring it,” “Fetch it,” “Make haste,” and by the evening the servants were utterly exhausted. Auntie Dasha changed her cooks and her housemaids every week; sometimes she discharged them for immorality; sometimes they went of their own accord, complaining that they were worked to death. None of the village people would come to the house as servants; Auntie Dasha had to hire them from a distance. There was only one girl from the village living in the house, Alyona, and she stayed because her whole family—old people and children—were living upon her wages. This Alyona, a pale, rather stupid little thing, spent the whole day turning out the rooms, waiting at table, heating the stoves, sewing, washing; but it always seemed as though she were only pottering about, treading heavily with her boots, and were nothing but a hindrance in the house. In her terror that she might be dismissed and sent home, she often dropped and broke the crockery, and they stopped the value of it out of her wages, and then her mother and grandmother would come and bow down at Auntie Dasha’s feet.
Her aunt complained that everyone had become lazy, that no one did anything, and that the estate wasn’t making any money. In fact, there was no organized farming; they plowed and sowed a bit just out of habit, but really, they did nothing and lived in idleness. Meanwhile, there was constant running around, counting and worrying all day long; the hustle in the house started at five o’clock in the morning, with constant shouts of “Bring it,” “Fetch it,” “Hurry up,” and by the evening, the servants were completely worn out. Auntie Dasha changed her cooks and housemaids every week; sometimes she fired them for being immoral, while other times they left on their own, complaining they were overworked. No one from the village wanted to work as a servant at the house, so Auntie Dasha had to hire them from far away. The only girl from the village living there was Alyona, who stayed because her entire family—old folks and kids—depended on her paycheck. Alyona, a pale and somewhat slow girl, spent her whole day cleaning the rooms, serving at the table, heating the stoves, sewing, and washing. Yet it always seemed like she was just shuffling around, stomping in her boots, and was more of a burden than anything. Terrified of being fired and sent home, she often dropped and broke the dishes, and they deducted the cost from her pay, prompting her mother and grandmother to come and bow down at Auntie Dasha’s feet.
Once a week or sometimes oftener visitors would arrive. Her aunt would come to Vera and say:
Once a week or sometimes more often, visitors would arrive. Her aunt would come to Vera and say:
“You should sit a little with the visitors, or else they’ll think that you are stuck up.”
“You should spend some time with the visitors, or they’ll think you’re snobby.”
Vera would go in to the visitors and play vint with them for hours together, or play the piano for the visitors to dance; her aunt, in high spirits and breathless from dancing, would come up and whisper to her:
Vera would join the guests and play vint with them for hours on end, or she’d play the piano for the guests to dance. Her aunt, feeling cheerful and out of breath from dancing, would come over and whisper to her:
“Be nice to Marya Nikiforovna.”
"Be kind to Marya Nikiforovna."
On the sixth of December, St. Nikolay’s Day, a large party of about thirty arrived all at once; they played vint until late at night, and many of them stayed the night. In the morning they sat down to cards again, then they had dinner, and when Vera went to her room after dinner to rest from conversation and tobacco smoke, there were visitors there too, and she almost wept in despair. And when they began to get ready to go in the evening, she was so pleased they were going at last, that she said:
On December sixth, St. Nikolay’s Day, a big group of about thirty people showed up all at once; they played vint late into the night, and many of them stayed over. In the morning, they sat down to play cards again, then they had dinner, and when Vera went to her room after dinner to get a break from the chatter and cigarette smoke, there were visitors there too, and she was nearly in tears from frustration. When they finally started to get ready to leave in the evening, she felt such relief that they were finally going that she said:
“Do stay a little longer.”
“Please stay a little longer.”
She felt exhausted by the visitors and constrained by their presence; yet every day, as soon as it began to grow dark, something drew her out of the house, and she went out to pay visits either at the works or at some neighbours’, and then there were cards, dancing, forfeits, suppers. . . .The young people in the works or in the mines sometimes sang Little Russian songs, and sang them very well. It made one sad to hear them sing. Or they all gathered together in one room and talked in the dusk of the mines, of the treasures that had once been buried in the steppes, of Saur’s Grave. . . . Later on, as they talked, a shout of “Help!” sometimes reached them. It was a drunken man going home, or some one was being robbed by the pit near by. Or the wind howled in the chimneys, the shutters banged; then, soon afterwards, they would hear the uneasy church bell, as the snow-storm began.
She felt worn out by the visitors and trapped by their presence; yet every day, as soon as it started to get dark, something pulled her out of the house. She went to visit either the workers or some neighbors, and then there were card games, dancing, forfeits, and dinners. The young people at the factory or in the mines sometimes sang Little Russian songs, and they sang them really well. It was saddening to hear them. Or they all gathered in one room and talked in the dim light, about the treasures that were once buried in the steppes, about Saur’s Grave. Later, as they chatted, a shout of “Help!” would sometimes reach them. It was a drunk guy heading home, or someone was getting robbed by the nearby pit. Or the wind howled in the chimneys, the shutters slammed; then, shortly after, they would hear the uneasy church bell as the snowstorm started.
At all the evening parties, picnics, and dinners, Auntie Dasha was invariably the most interesting woman and the doctor the most interesting man. There was very little reading either at the works or at the country-houses; they played only marches and polkas; and the young people always argued hotly about things they did not understand, and the effect was crude. The discussions were loud and heated, but, strange to say, Vera had nowhere else met people so indifferent and careless as these. They seemed to have no fatherland, no religion, no public interests. When they talked of literature or debated some abstract question, it could be seen from Dr. Neshtchapov’s face that the question had no interest for him whatever, and that for long, long years he had read nothing and cared to read nothing. Serious and expressionless, like a badly painted portrait, for ever in his white waistcoat, he was silent and incomprehensible as before; but the ladies, young and old, thought him interesting and were enthusiastic over his manners. They envied Vera, who appeared to attract him very much. And Vera always came away from the visits with a feeling of vexation, vowing inwardly to remain at home; but the day passed, the evening came, and she hurried off to the works again, and it was like that almost all the winter.
At all the evening parties, picnics, and dinners, Auntie Dasha was always the most interesting woman and the doctor was the most captivating man. There wasn't much reading happening at the workplaces or the country houses; they only played marches and polkas; and the young people would always argue passionately about topics they didn’t really understand, resulting in a rough atmosphere. The discussions were loud and intense, but oddly enough, Vera had never encountered such indifference and carelessness in people before. They seemed to have no sense of nation, no faith, and no community interests. When they discussed literature or debated some abstract topic, it was clear from Dr. Neshtchapov’s expression that he had no interest in it at all and that for many years, he had read nothing and had no desire to read anything. Serious and expressionless, like a poorly painted portrait, forever in his white waistcoat, he remained silent and incomprehensible; yet, the women, young and old, found him intriguing and fawned over his demeanor. They envied Vera, who seemed to draw his attention. And Vera always left these visits feeling frustrated, promising herself to stay home, but as the day went by and evening fell, she found herself rushing back to the workplace again, and it was like that almost all winter.
She ordered books and magazines, and used to read them in her room. And she read at night, lying in bed. When the clock in the corridor struck two or three, and her temples were beginning to ache from reading, she sat up in bed and thought, “What am I to do? Where am I to go?” Accursed, importunate question, to which there were a number of ready-made answers, and in reality no answer at all.
She ordered books and magazines and used to read them in her room. And she read at night, lying in bed. When the clock in the hallway struck two or three, and her temples started to ache from reading, she sat up in bed and thought, "What am I supposed to do? Where am I meant to go?" A frustrating, persistent question, for which there were plenty of canned responses, but in reality, no answer at all.
Oh, how noble, how holy, how picturesque it must be to serve the people, to alleviate their sufferings, to enlighten them! But she, Vera, did not know the people. And how could she go to them? They were strange and uninteresting to her; she could not endure the stuffy smell of the huts, the pot-house oaths, the unwashed children, the women’s talk of illnesses. To walk over the snow-drifts, to feel cold, then to sit in a stifling hut, to teach children she disliked—no, she would rather die! And to teach the peasants’ children while Auntie Dasha made money out of the pot-houses and fined the peasants—it was too great a farce! What a lot of talk there was of schools, of village libraries, of universal education; but if all these engineers, these mine-owners and ladies of her acquaintance, had not been hypocrites, and really had believed that enlightenment was necessary, they would not have paid the schoolmasters fifteen roubles a month as they did now, and would not have let them go hungry. And the schools and the talk about ignorance—it was all only to stifle the voice of conscience because they were ashamed to own fifteen or thirty thousand acres and to be indifferent to the peasants’ lot. Here the ladies said about Dr. Neshtchapov that he was a kind man and had built a school at the works. Yes, he had built a school out of the old bricks at the works for some eight hundred roubles, and they sang the prayer for “long life” to him when the building was opened, but there was no chance of his giving up his shares, and it certainly never entered his head that the peasants were human beings like himself, and that they, too, needed university teaching, and not merely lessons in these wretched schools.
Oh, how noble, how holy, how picturesque it must be to serve the people, to ease their suffering, to enlighten them! But Vera didn’t know the people. How could she reach out to them? They felt strange and uninteresting to her; she couldn’t handle the stuffy smell of the huts, the swearing in the taverns, the unwashed children, or the women complaining about their illnesses. Walking over snowdrifts, feeling cold, then sitting in a hot, cramped hut, trying to teach kids she didn't like—no, she’d rather die! And to teach the peasants’ kids while Auntie Dasha profited from the taverns and fined the peasants—it was such a joke! There was a lot of talk about schools, village libraries, and universal education; but if all these engineers, mine owners, and ladies she knew weren't hypocrites and truly believed enlightenment was necessary, they wouldn’t pay the teachers fifteen rubles a month like they do now, and they wouldn’t let them go hungry. All this talk about schools and ignorance was just to silence their conscience because they were ashamed to own fifteen or thirty thousand acres while being indifferent to the peasants' situation. Here, the women praised Dr. Neshtchapov, saying he was a good man who built a school at the factory. Sure, he built a school out of old bricks for about eight hundred rubles, and they sang a prayer for "long life" to him when it opened, but he certainly had no intention of giving up his shares, and it never occurred to him that the peasants were human beings like him who also needed a university education, not just lessons in these miserable schools.
And Vera felt full of anger against herself and every one else. She took up a book again and tried to read it, but soon afterwards sat down and thought again. To become a doctor? But to do that one must pass an examination in Latin; besides, she had an invincible repugnance to corpses and disease. It would be nice to become a mechanic, a judge, a commander of a steamer, a scientist; to do something into which she could put all her powers, physical and spiritual, and to be tired out and sleep soundly at night; to give up her life to something that would make her an interesting person, able to attract interesting people, to love, to have a real family of her own. . . . But what was she to do? How was she to begin?
And Vera felt a surge of anger towards herself and everyone else. She picked up a book again and tried to read it, but soon after, she sat down and started thinking again. To become a doctor? But for that, she would have to pass a Latin exam; plus, she had a strong aversion to corpses and illness. It would be great to become a mechanic, a judge, a captain of a steamer, a scientist; to do something where she could invest all her energy, both physical and mental, and to feel worn out and sleep soundly at night; to dedicate her life to something that would make her an interesting person, able to attract other interesting people, to love, to have a real family of her own... But what was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to start?
One Sunday in Lent her aunt came into her room early in the morning to fetch her umbrella. Vera was sitting up in bed clasping her head in her hands, thinking.
One Sunday during Lent, her aunt came into her room early in the morning to grab her umbrella. Vera was sitting up in bed, holding her head in her hands, deep in thought.
“You ought to go to church, darling,” said her aunt, “or people will think you are not a believer.”
“You should go to church, sweetheart,” her aunt said, “or people will think you’re not a believer.”
Vera made no answer.
Vera didn’t respond.
“I see you are dull, poor child,” said Auntie Dasha, sinking on her knees by the bedside; she adored Vera. “Tell me the truth, are you bored?”
“I see you're feeling down, poor child,” said Auntie Dasha, sinking to her knees by the bedside; she adored Vera. “Tell me honestly, are you bored?”
“Dreadfully.”
“Awfully.”
“My beauty, my queen, I am your willing slave, I wish you nothing but good and happiness. . . . Tell me, why don’t you want to marry Nestchapov? What more do you want, my child? You must forgive me, darling; you can’t pick and choose like this, we are not princes . . . . Time is passing, you are not seventeen. . . . And I don’t understand it! He loves you, idolises you!”
“My beauty, my queen, I am your willing servant, I wish you nothing but good and happiness. . . . Tell me, why don’t you want to marry Nestchapov? What more do you want, my dear? Please forgive me, darling; you can’t be so selective, we aren’t royalty . . . . Time is moving on, you aren’t seventeen anymore. . . . And I don’t get it! He loves you, adores you!”
“Oh, mercy!” said Vera with vexation. “How can I tell? He sits dumb and never says a word.”
“Oh, come on!” Vera said, frustrated. “How am I supposed to know? He just sits there silent and never says anything.”
“He’s shy, darling. . . . He’s afraid you’ll refuse him!”
“He’s shy, honey. . . . He’s worried you’ll turn him down!”
And when her aunt had gone away, Vera remained standing in the middle of her room uncertain whether to dress or to go back to bed. The bed was hateful; if one looked out of the window there were the bare trees, the grey snow, the hateful jackdaws, the pigs that her grandfather would eat. . . .
And when her aunt left, Vera stood in the middle of her room, unsure whether to get dressed or go back to bed. The bed was unappealing; if she looked out the window, she saw the bare trees, the gray snow, the annoying jackdaws, and the pigs her grandfather would eat...
“Yes, after all, perhaps I’d better get married!” she thought.
“Yes, after all, maybe I should just get married!” she thought.
III
For two days Auntie Dasha went about with a tear-stained and heavily powdered face, and at dinner she kept sighing and looking towards the ikon. And it was impossible to make out what was the matter with her. But at last she made up her mind, went in to Vera, and said in a casual way:
For two days, Auntie Dasha walked around with a tear-streaked and heavily made-up face, and at dinner, she kept sighing and glancing over at the ikon. It was hard to figure out what was wrong with her. Finally, she gathered her thoughts, went to Vera, and said casually:
“The fact is, child, we have to pay interest on the bank loan, and the tenant hasn’t paid his rent. Will you let me pay it out of the fifteen thousand your papa left you?”
“The truth is, kid, we need to pay interest on the bank loan, and the tenant hasn’t paid his rent. Can I use some of the fifteen thousand your dad left you to cover it?”
All day afterwards Auntie Dasha spent in making cherry jam in the garden. Alyona, with her cheeks flushed with the heat, ran to and from the garden to the house and back again to the cellar.
All day after, Auntie Dasha was busy making cherry jam in the garden. Alyona, her cheeks flushed from the heat, kept running back and forth between the garden and the house, then back to the cellar.
When Auntie Dasha was making jam with a very serious face as though she were performing a religious rite, and her short sleeves displayed her strong, little, despotic hands and arms, and when the servants ran about incessantly, bustling about the jam which they would never taste, there was always a feeling of martyrdom in the air. . . .
When Auntie Dasha was making jam with a very serious expression as if she were performing a sacred ritual, and her short sleeves showed off her strong, little, authoritative hands and arms, and when the servants were running around constantly, busying themselves with the jam that they would never get to taste, there was always a sense of martyrdom in the atmosphere. . . .
The garden smelt of hot cherries. The sun had set, the charcoal stove had been carried away, but the pleasant, sweetish smell still lingered in the air. Vera sat on a bench in the garden and watched a new labourer, a young soldier, not of the neighbourhood, who was, by her express orders, making new paths. He was cutting the turf with a spade and heaping it up on a barrow.
The garden smelled like warm cherries. The sun had gone down, the charcoal stove had been taken away, but the nice, sweet scent still hung in the air. Vera sat on a bench in the garden and watched a new worker, a young soldier who wasn’t from the area, who was making new paths at her request. He was slicing the grass with a spade and piling it up on a wheelbarrow.
“Where were you serving?” Vera asked him.
“Where were you stationed?” Vera asked him.
“At Berdyansk.”
“At Berdyansk.”
“And where are you going now? Home?”
“And where are you headed now? Home?”
“No,” answered the labourer. “I have no home.”
“No,” replied the laborer. “I don't have a home.”
“But where were you born and brought up?”
“But where were you born and raised?”
“In the province of Oryol. Till I went into the army I lived with my mother, in my step-father’s house; my mother was the head of the house, and people looked up to her, and while she lived I was cared for. But while I was in the army I got a letter telling me my mother was dead. . . . And now I don’t seem to care to go home. It’s not my own father, so it’s not like my own home.”
“In the Oryol province, I lived with my mother in my stepfather’s house until I joined the army. My mother was the head of the household, and people respected her, so I was taken care of while she was alive. But while I was in the army, I received a letter saying my mother had passed away. . . . Now, I just don’t feel like going home. It’s not my real father, so it doesn’t feel like home to me.”
“Then your father is dead?”
“So your dad is dead?”
“I don’t know. I am illegitimate.”
“I don’t know. I was born out of wedlock.”
At that moment Auntie Dasha appeared at the window and said:
At that moment, Auntie Dasha showed up at the window and said:
“Il ne faut pas parler aux gens . . . . Go into the kitchen, my good man. You can tell your story there,” she said to the soldier.
“Don't talk to people . . . . Go into the kitchen, my good man. You can share your story there,” she said to the soldier.
And then came as yesterday and every day supper, reading, a sleepless night, and endless thinking about the same thing. At three o’clock the sun rose; Alyona was already busy in the corridor, and Vera was not asleep yet and was trying to read. She heard the creak of the barrow: it was the new labourer at work in the garden. . . . Vera sat at the open window with a book, dozed, and watched the soldier making the paths for her, and that interested her. The paths were as even and level as a leather strap, and it was pleasant to imagine what they would be like when they were strewn with yellow sand.
And then came yesterday and every day: dinner, reading, a sleepless night, and endless thoughts about the same thing. At three o'clock, the sun came up; Alyona was already busy in the hallway, and Vera wasn't asleep yet and was trying to read. She heard the creak of the wheelbarrow: it was the new laborer working in the garden... Vera sat at the open window with a book, dozed off, and watched the soldier creating the paths for her, which intrigued her. The paths were as smooth and flat as a leather strap, and it was nice to picture how they would look once they were covered with yellow sand.
She could see her aunt come out of the house soon after five o’clock, in a pink wrapper and curl-papers. She stood on the steps for three minutes without speaking, and then said to the soldier:
She saw her aunt step out of the house shortly after five o’clock, wearing a pink robe and curlers in her hair. She stood on the steps for three minutes without saying anything, and then said to the soldier:
“Take your passport and go in peace. I can’t have any one illegitimate in my house.”
“Take your passport and leave peacefully. I can’t have anyone unqualified in my home.”
An oppressive, angry feeling sank like a stone on Vera’s heart. She was indignant with her aunt, she hated her; she was so sick of her aunt that her heart was full of misery and loathing. But what was she to do? To stop her mouth? To be rude to her? But what would be the use? Suppose she struggled with her, got rid of her, made her harmless, prevented her grandfather from flourishing his stick— what would be the use of it? It would be like killing one mouse or one snake in the boundless steppe. The vast expanse, the long winters, the monotony and dreariness of life, instil a sense of helplessness; the position seems hopeless, and one wants to do nothing—everything is useless.
An oppressive, angry feeling weighed heavily on Vera’s heart. She was furious with her aunt; she hated her. She was so fed up with her aunt that her heart was filled with misery and disgust. But what could she do? Silence her? Be rude to her? But what would be the point? What if she fought with her, got rid of her, made her harmless, stopped her grandfather from waving his stick—what would that accomplish? It would be like killing one mouse or one snake in the endless steppe. The vast space, the long winters, the monotony and gloom of life instill a sense of helplessness; the situation feels hopeless, and one just wants to do nothing—everything seems pointless.
Alyona came in, and bowing low to Vera, began carrying out the arm-chairs to beat the dust out of them.
Alyona walked in, bowed to Vera, and started taking the armchairs outside to shake the dust out of them.
“You have chosen a time to clean up,” said Vera with annoyance. “Go away.”
“You picked a weird time to clean up,” Vera said, annoyed. “Just leave me alone.”
Alyona was overwhelmed, and in her terror could not understand what was wanted of her. She began hurriedly tidying up the dressing-table.
Alyona was overwhelmed, and in her panic, she couldn't figure out what was expected of her. She started quickly cleaning up the dressing table.
“Go out of the room, I tell you,” Vera shouted, turning cold; she had never had such an oppressive feeling before. “Go away!”
“Get out of the room, I’m telling you,” Vera yelled, feeling icy; she had never experienced such a heavy sensation before. “Go away!”
Alyona uttered a sort of moan, like a bird, and dropped Vera’s gold watch on the carpet.
Alyona let out a sort of moan, like a bird, and dropped Vera’s gold watch on the carpet.
“Go away!” Vera shrieked in a voice not her own, leaping up and trembling all over. “Send her away; she worries me to death!” she went on, walking rapidly after Alyona down the passage, stamping her feet. “Go away! Birch her! Beat her!” Then suddenly she came to herself, and just as she was, unwashed, uncombed, in her dressing-gown and slippers, she rushed out of the house. She ran to the familiar ravine and hid herself there among the sloe-trees, so that she might see no one and be seen by no one. Lying there motionless on the grass, she did not weep, she was not horror-stricken, but gazing at the sky open-eyed, she reflected coldly and clearly that something had happened which she could never forget and for which she could never forgive herself all her life.
“Go away!” Vera screamed in a voice that wasn’t her own, jumping up and shaking all over. “Send her away; she’s making me crazy!” She continued, quickly following Alyona down the hallway, stamping her feet. “Go away! Punish her! Hit her!” Then, suddenly regaining her senses, she bolted out of the house just as she was, unwashed, uncombed, in her bathrobe and slippers. She ran to the familiar ravine and hid among the sloe trees so she wouldn’t see anyone and wouldn’t be seen. Lying there still on the grass, she didn’t cry, she wasn’t panicked; instead, she stared wide-eyed at the sky, coldly and clearly realizing that something had happened that she could never forget and for which she could never forgive herself for the rest of her life.
“No, I can’t go on like this,” she thought. “It’s time to take myself in hand, or there’ll be no end to it. . . . I can’t go on like this. . . .”
“No, I can’t keep living like this,” she thought. “It’s time to get myself together, or this will never stop. . . . I can’t keep going like this. . . .”
At midday Dr. Neshtchapov drove by the ravine on his way to the house. She saw him and made up her mind that she would begin a new life, and that she would make herself begin it, and this decision calmed her. And following with her eyes the doctor’s well-built figure, she said, as though trying to soften the crudity of her decision:
At noon, Dr. Neshtchapov drove past the ravine on his way to the house. She saw him and decided that she would start a new life, and that she would make herself do it, and this choice made her feel at ease. As she watched the doctor's well-built figure, she said, as if trying to soften the harshness of her decision:
“He’s a nice man. . . . We shall get through life somehow.”
“He's a nice guy. . . . We'll get through life somehow.”
She returned home. While she was dressing, Auntie Dasha came into the room, and said:
She got back home. While she was getting dressed, Auntie Dasha walked into the room and said:
“Alyona upset you, darling; I’ve sent her home to the village. Her mother’s given her a good beating and has come here, crying.”
“Alyona upset you, sweetheart; I’ve sent her back to the village. Her mother gave her a good beating and has come here, crying.”
“Auntie,” said Vera quickly, “I’m going to marry Dr. Neshtchapov. Only talk to him yourself . . . I can’t.”
“Auntie,” Vera said quickly, “I’m going to marry Dr. Neshtchapov. Just talk to him yourself . . . I can’t.”
And again she went out into the fields. And wandering aimlessly about, she made up her mind that when she was married she would look after the house, doctor the peasants, teach in the school, that she would do all the things that other women of her circle did. And this perpetual dissatisfaction with herself and every one else, this series of crude mistakes which stand up like a mountain before one whenever one looks back upon one’s past, she would accept as her real life to which she was fated, and she would expect nothing better. . . . Of course there was nothing better! Beautiful nature, dreams, music, told one story, but reality another. Evidently truth and happiness existed somewhere outside real life. . . . One must give up one’s own life and merge oneself into this luxuriant steppe, boundless and indifferent as eternity, with its flowers, its ancient barrows, and its distant horizon, and then it would be well with one. . . .
And once again she walked out into the fields. As she wandered aimlessly, she decided that when she got married, she would take care of the home, help the peasants, teach at the school—basically do everything that other women in her social circle did. This constant dissatisfaction with herself and everyone else, this series of harsh mistakes that loom like a mountain whenever she reflects on her past, she would accept as her true life, the one she was destined for, expecting nothing better. . . . Of course, there was nothing better! Beautiful nature, dreams, music told one story, but reality told another. Clearly, truth and happiness existed somewhere beyond real life. . . . One had to give up their own life and immerse themselves in this lush steppe, endless and indifferent like eternity, with its flowers, ancient burial mounds, and distant horizon, and then everything would be fine. . . .
A month later Vera was living at the works.
A month later, Vera was living at the factory.
EXPENSIVE LESSONS
FOR a cultivated man to be ignorant of foreign languages is a great inconvenience. Vorotov became acutely conscious of it when, after taking his degree, he began upon a piece of research work.
FOR a cultured person to be unaware of foreign languages is a significant drawback. Vorotov realized this sharply when, after earning his degree, he started a research project.
“It’s awful,” he said, breathing hard (although he was only twenty-six he was fat, heavy, and suffered from shortness of breath).
“It’s terrible,” he said, breathing heavily (even though he was only twenty-six, he was overweight, heavy, and dealt with shortness of breath).
“It’s awful! Without languages I’m like a bird without wings. I might just as well give up the work.”
“It’s terrible! Without languages, I feel like a bird without wings. I might as well just give up on this work.”
And he made up his mind at all costs to overcome his innate laziness, and to learn French and German; and began to look out for a teacher.
And he decided he would overcome his natural laziness no matter what, and learn French and German; so he started looking for a teacher.
One winter noon, as Vorotov was sitting in his study at work, the servant told him that a young lady was inquiring for him.
One winter afternoon, while Vorotov was working in his study, the servant informed him that a young lady was asking for him.
“Ask her in,” said Vorotov.
“Invite her in,” said Vorotov.
And a young lady elaborately dressed in the last fashion walked in. She introduced herself as a teacher of French, Alice Osipovna Enquête, and told Vorotov that she had been sent to him by one of his friends.
And a young woman, dressed to the nines in the latest fashion, walked in. She introduced herself as a French teacher, Alice Osipovna Enquête, and told Vorotov that one of his friends had sent her to him.
“Delighted! Please sit down,” said Vorotov, breathing hard and putting his hand over the collar of his nightshirt (to breathe more freely he always wore a nightshirt at work instead of a stiff linen one with collar). “It was Pyotr Sergeitch sent you? Yes, yes . . . I asked him about it. Delighted!”
“Great! Please have a seat,” said Vorotov, breathing heavily and adjusting the collar of his nightshirt (he always wore a nightshirt at work instead of a stiff linen one with a collar for easier breathing). “It was Pyotr Sergeitch who sent you? Yes, yes . . . I asked him about it. Great!”
As he talked to Mdlle. Enquête he looked at her shyly and with curiosity. She was a genuine Frenchwoman, very elegant and still quite young. Judging from her pale, languid face, her short curly hair, and her unnaturally slim waist, she might have been eighteen; but looking at her broad, well-developed shoulders, the elegant lines of her back and her severe eyes, Vorotov thought that she was not less than three-and-twenty and might be twenty-five; but then again he began to think she was not more than eighteen. Her face looked as cold and business-like as the face of a person who has come to speak about money. She did not once smile or frown, and only once a look of perplexity flitted over her face when she learnt that she was not required to teach children, but a stout grown-up man.
As he spoke with Mdlle. Enquête, he glanced at her shyly and with curiosity. She was a true Frenchwoman, very stylish and still quite young. Based on her pale, languid face, her short curly hair, and her unnaturally slim waist, she could have been eighteen; but considering her broad, well-developed shoulders, the graceful lines of her back, and her serious eyes, Vorotov guessed she was at least twenty-three and maybe even twenty-five. Yet, he began to wonder if she was really no older than eighteen. Her expression was as cold and business-like as someone discussing money. She didn’t smile or frown once, and only a brief look of confusion crossed her face when she found out she was supposed to teach a stout adult man, not children.
“So, Alice Osipovna,” said Vorotov, “we’ll have a lesson every evening from seven to eight. As regards your terms—a rouble a lesson—I’ve nothing to say against that. By all means let it be a rouble. . . .”
“So, Alice Osipovna,” said Vorotov, “we’ll have a lesson every evening from seven to eight. As for your rate—a rouble a lesson—I have no objections. Let’s make it a rouble...”
And he asked her if she would not have some tea or coffee, whether it was a fine day, and with a good-natured smile, stroking the baize of the table, he inquired in a friendly voice who she was, where she had studied, and what she lived on.
And he asked her if she’d like some tea or coffee, whether it was a nice day, and with a warm smile, rubbing the surface of the table, he politely asked who she was, where she had gone to school, and how she made a living.
With a cold, business-like expression, Alice Osipovna answered that she had completed her studies at a private school and had the diploma of a private teacher, that her father had died lately of scarlet fever, that her mother was alive and made artificial flowers; that she, Mdlle. Enquête, taught in a private school till dinnertime, and after dinner was busy till evening giving lessons in different good families.
With a serious, professional tone, Alice Osipovna replied that she had finished her studies at a private school and held a diploma as a private teacher. She mentioned that her father had recently died from scarlet fever, that her mother was still alive and made artificial flowers, and that she, Mdlle. Enquête, taught at a private school until dinner and then, after dinner, worked until the evening giving lessons to various respectable families.
She went away leaving behind her the faint fragrance of a woman’s clothes. For a long time afterwards Vorotov could not settle to work, but, sitting at the table stroking its green baize surface, he meditated.
She walked away, leaving the faint scent of her clothes behind. For a long time afterward, Vorotov couldn’t focus on his work. Instead, he sat at the table, running his hand over its green felt surface, deep in thought.
“It’s very pleasant to see a girl working to earn her own living,” he thought. “On the other hand, it’s very unpleasant to think that poverty should not spare such elegant and pretty girls as Alice Osipovna, and that she, too, should have to struggle for existence. It’s a sad thing!”
“It’s really nice to see a girl working to support herself,” he thought. “But it’s also really upsetting to think that poverty affects such elegant and pretty girls like Alice Osipovna, and that she has to struggle to make a living too. It’s a sad situation!”
Having never seen virtuous Frenchwomen before, he reflected also that this elegantly dressed young lady with her well-developed shoulders and exaggeratedly small waist in all probability followed another calling as well as giving French lessons.
Having never seen virtuous French women before, he also thought that this elegantly dressed young lady with her well-defined shoulders and extremely small waist probably had another profession besides teaching French.
The next evening when the clock pointed to five minutes to seven, Mdlle. Enquête appeared, rosy from the frost. She opened Margot, which she had brought with her, and without introduction began:
The next evening, when the clock showed five minutes until seven, Mdlle. Enquête arrived, glowing from the cold. She opened Margot, which she had brought with her, and started without any introduction:
“French grammar has twenty-six letters. The first letter is called A, the second B . . .”
“French grammar has twenty-six letters. The first letter is called A, the second B . . .”
“Excuse me,” Vorotov interrupted, smiling. “I must warn you, mademoiselle, that you must change your method a little in my case. You see, I know Russian, Greek, and Latin well. . . . I’ve studied comparative philology, and I think we might omit Margot and pass straight to reading some author.”
“Excuse me,” Vorotov interrupted with a smile. “I need to warn you, miss, that you should adjust your approach a bit when it comes to me. You see, I know Russian, Greek, and Latin quite well. . . . I’ve studied comparative philology, and I think we could skip Margot and go straight to reading some author.”
And he explained to the French girl how grown-up people learn languages.
And he explained to the French girl how adults learn languages.
“A friend of mine,” he said, “wanting to learn modern languages, laid before him the French, German, and Latin gospels, and read them side by side, carefully analysing each word, and would you believe it, he attained his object in less than a year. Let us do the same. We’ll take some author and read him.”
“A friend of mine,” he said, “wanting to learn modern languages, put the French, German, and Latin gospels in front of him and read them side by side, carefully analyzing each word. Can you believe it? He achieved his goal in less than a year. Let’s do the same. We’ll pick an author and read his work.”
The French girl looked at him in perplexity. Evidently the suggestion seemed to her very naïve and ridiculous. If this strange proposal had been made to her by a child, she would certainly have been angry and have scolded it, but as he was a grown-up man and very stout and she could not scold him, she only shrugged her shoulders hardly perceptibly and said:
The French girl looked at him in confusion. Clearly, the suggestion seemed very silly and childish to her. If a child had made this strange proposal, she would definitely have been upset and have reprimanded them, but since he was an adult and quite heavyset, and she couldn't scold him, she just shrugged her shoulders slightly and said:
“As you please.”
“Do as you wish.”
Vorotov rummaged in his bookcase and picked out a dog’s-eared French book.
Vorotov searched through his bookshelf and pulled out a dog-eared French book.
“Will this do?”
"Is this okay?"
“It’s all the same,” she said.
“It’s all the same,” she said.
“In that case let us begin, and good luck to it! Let’s begin with the title . . . ‘Mémoires.’”
“In that case, let’s get started, and good luck to us! Let’s kick things off with the title . . . ‘Mémoires.’”
“Reminiscences,” Mdlle. Enquête translated.
“Reminiscences,” translated by Mdlle. Enquête.
With a good-natured smile, breathing hard, he spent a quarter of an hour over the word “Mémoires,” and as much over the word de, and this wearied the young lady. She answered his questions languidly, grew confused, and evidently did not understand her pupil well, and did not attempt to understand him. Vorotov asked her questions, and at the same time kept looking at her fair hair and thinking:
With a friendly smile, out of breath, he spent fifteen minutes on the word "Mémoires," and another fifteen on the word de, which tired the young lady out. She responded to his questions lazily, became confused, and clearly didn’t grasp her student’s point well, nor did she make an effort to understand him. Vorotov asked her questions while repeatedly glancing at her light-colored hair and thinking:
“Her hair isn’t naturally curly; she curls it. It’s a strange thing! She works from morning to night, and yet she has time to curl her hair.”
“Her hair isn’t naturally curly; she styles it that way. It’s odd! She works from morning to night, and still manages to curl her hair.”
At eight o’clock precisely she got up, and saying coldly and dryly, “Au revoir, monsieur,” walked out of the study, leaving behind her the same tender, delicate, disturbing fragrance. For a long time again her pupil did nothing; he sat at the table meditating.
At eight o’clock sharp, she got up and said coldly and dryly, “Goodbye, sir,” as she walked out of the study, leaving behind the same tender, delicate, unsettling fragrance. For a long time, her student did nothing; he sat at the table lost in thought.
During the days that followed he became convinced that his teacher was a charming, conscientious, and precise young lady, but that she was very badly educated, and incapable of teaching grown-up people, and he made up his mind not to waste his time, to get rid of her, and to engage another teacher. When she came the seventh time he took out of his pocket an envelope with seven roubles in it, and holding it in his hand, became very confused and began:
During the days that followed, he became convinced that his teacher was a charming, dedicated, and detail-oriented young woman, but that she was poorly educated and unable to teach adults. He decided not to waste his time, to let her go, and to find another teacher. When she came for the seventh time, he took out an envelope with seven rubles in it, and holding it in his hand, became very flustered and started:
“Excuse me, Alice Osipovna, but I ought to tell you . . . I’m under painful necessity . . .”
“Excuse me, Alice Osipovna, but I need to tell you . . . I’m in a difficult situation . . .”
Seeing the envelope, the French girl guessed what was meant, and for the first time during their lessons her face quivered and her cold, business-like expression vanished. She coloured a little, and dropping her eyes, began nervously fingering her slender gold chain. And Vorotov, seeing her perturbation, realised how much a rouble meant to her, and how bitter it would be to her to lose what she was earning.
Seeing the envelope, the French girl understood what it was about, and for the first time during their lessons, her face showed emotion, and her cold, business-like expression disappeared. She blushed a bit, and looking down, started nervously playing with her thin gold chain. Vorotov, noticing her distress, realized how significant a rouble was to her and how painful it would be for her to lose what she was earning.
“I ought to tell you,” he muttered, growing more and more confused, and quavering inwardly; he hurriedly stuffed the envelope into his pocket and went on: “Excuse me, I . . . I must leave you for ten minutes.”
“I should tell you,” he mumbled, getting increasingly confused and shaky inside; he quickly shoved the envelope into his pocket and continued: “Sorry, I . . . I need to step away for ten minutes.”
And trying to appear as though he had not in the least meant to get rid of her, but only to ask her permission to leave her for a short time, he went into the next room and sat there for ten minutes. And then he returned more embarrassed than ever: it struck him that she might have interpreted his brief absence in some way of her own, and he felt awkward.
And he tried to make it seem like he hadn’t really meant to get rid of her, but just wanted to ask if he could leave her for a little while. He went into the next room and sat there for ten minutes. When he came back, he was more embarrassed than before; it occurred to him that she might have taken his quick absence the wrong way, and he felt uncomfortable.
The lessons began again. Yorotov felt no interest in them. Realising that he would gain nothing from the lessons, he gave the French girl liberty to do as she liked, asking her nothing and not interrupting her. She translated away as she pleased ten pages during a lesson, and he did not listen, breathed hard, and having nothing better to do, gazed at her curly head, or her soft white hands or her neck and sniffed the fragrance of her clothes. He caught himself thinking very unsuitable thoughts, and felt ashamed, or he was moved to tenderness, and then he felt vexed and wounded that she was so cold and business-like with him, and treated him as a pupil, never smiling and seeming afraid that he might accidentally touch her. He kept wondering how to inspire her with confidence and get to know her better, and to help her, to make her understand how badly she taught, poor thing.
The lessons started up again. Yorotov had no interest in them. Realizing he wouldn’t gain anything from the lessons, he let the French girl do as she liked, asking her nothing and not interrupting her. She translated ten pages during a lesson as she pleased, and he didn’t listen, breathing heavily and having nothing better to do, stared at her curly hair, or her soft white hands, or her neck and inhaled the scent of her clothes. He caught himself thinking very inappropriate thoughts and felt ashamed, or he was touched with tenderness, and then he felt annoyed and hurt that she was so cold and business-like with him, treating him like a student, never smiling and seeming afraid he might accidentally touch her. He kept wondering how to build her trust and get to know her better, and to help her understand how poorly she taught, poor thing.
One day Mdlle. Enquête came to the lesson in a smart pink dress, slightly décolleté, and surrounded by such a fragrance that she seemed to be wrapped in a cloud, and, if one blew upon her, ready to fly away into the air or melt away like smoke. She apologised and said she could stay only half an hour for the lesson, as she was going straight from the lesson to a dance.
One day, Mdlle. Enquête arrived at the lesson wearing a stylish pink dress, slightly low-cut, and surrounded by such a fragrance that it felt like she was wrapped in a cloud. If someone blew on her, she seemed ready to float away or vanish like smoke. She apologized, saying she could only stay for half an hour because she was heading straight to a dance after the lesson.
He looked at her throat and the back of her bare neck, and thought he understood why Frenchwomen had the reputation of frivolous creatures easily seduced; he was carried away by this cloud of fragrance, beauty, and bare flesh, while she, unconscious of his thoughts and probably not in the least interested in them, rapidly turned over the pages and translated at full steam:
He looked at her throat and the back of her bare neck and thought he understood why French women had the reputation for being frivolous and easily seduced. He was overwhelmed by this mix of fragrance, beauty, and bare skin, while she, completely unaware of his thoughts and probably not the least bit interested in them, quickly flipped through the pages and translated at full speed:
“‘He was walking the street and meeting a gentleman his friend and saying, “Where are you striving to seeing your face so pale it makes me sad.”’”
“‘He was walking down the street when he ran into a friend and said, “Why do you look so pale? It makes me worried.”’”
The “Mémoires” had long been finished, and now Alice was translating some other book. One day she came an hour too early for the lesson, apologizing and saying that she wanted to leave at seven and go to the Little Theatre. Seeing her out after the lesson, Vorotov dressed and went to the theatre himself. He went, and fancied that he was going simply for change and amusement, and that he was not thinking about Alice at all. He could not admit that a serious man, preparing for a learned career, lethargic in his habits, could fling up his work and go to the theatre simply to meet there a girl he knew very little, who was unintelligent and utterly unintellectual.
The “Mémoires” had long been finished, and now Alice was translating another book. One day, she showed up an hour early for the lesson, apologizing and saying she wanted to leave at seven to go to the Little Theatre. After the lesson, Vorotov got dressed and headed to the theatre himself. He convinced himself he was going just for a change of scenery and some fun, claiming he wasn't thinking about Alice at all. He refused to accept that a serious man, preparing for an academic career and set in his ways, could abandon his work just to run into a girl he barely knew, who was not very bright and completely lacking in intellect.
Yet for some reason his heart was beating during the intervals, and without realizing what he was doing, he raced about the corridors and foyer like a boy impatiently looking for some one, and he was disappointed when the interval was over. And when he saw the familiar pink dress and the handsome shoulders under the tulle, his heart quivered as though with a foretaste of happiness; he smiled joyfully, and for the first time in his life experienced the sensation of jealousy.
Yet for some reason, his heart was racing during the breaks, and without realizing it, he dashed around the halls and lobby like a boy anxiously searching for someone. He felt let down when the break ended. When he spotted the familiar pink dress and the attractive shoulders beneath the tulle, his heart fluttered as if it were a preview of happiness; he smiled brightly, and for the first time in his life, he felt the sting of jealousy.
Alice was walking with two unattractive-looking students and an officer. She was laughing, talking loudly, and obviously flirting. Vorotov had never seen her like that. She was evidently happy, contented, warm, sincere. What for? Why? Perhaps because these men were her friends and belonged to her own circle. And Vorotov felt there was a terrible gulf between himself and that circle. He bowed to his teacher, but she gave him a chilly nod and walked quickly by; she evidently did not care for her friends to know that she had pupils, and that she had to give lessons to earn money.
Alice was walking with two not-so-good-looking students and an officer. She was laughing, talking loudly, and clearly flirting. Vorotov had never seen her like this. She seemed genuinely happy, content, warm, and sincere. Why? Maybe it was because these guys were her friends and part of her circle. Vorotov felt a huge gap between himself and that group. He nodded to his teacher, but she just gave him a cold nod and walked past quickly; she clearly didn't want her friends to know she had students and that she had to teach to make money.
After the meeting at the theatre Vorotov realised that he was in love. . . . During the subsequent lessons he feasted his eyes on his elegant teacher, and without struggling with himself, gave full rein to his imaginations, pure and impure. Mdlle. Enquête’s face did not cease to be cold; precisely at eight o’clock every evening she said coldly, “Au revoir, monsieur,” and he felt she cared nothing about him, and never would care anything about him, and that his position was hopeless.
After the meeting at the theater, Vorotov realized he was in love. During the following lessons, he admired his elegant teacher and, without fighting his feelings, let his imagination run wild, both innocent and not. Mdlle. Enquête’s expression remained cold; exactly at eight o’clock every evening, she would say coolly, “Au revoir, monsieur,” and he felt like she didn’t care about him at all, and that she never would. His situation seemed hopeless.
Sometimes in the middle of a lesson he would begin dreaming, hoping, making plans. He inwardly composed declarations of love, remembered that Frenchwomen were frivolous and easily won, but it was enough for him to glance at the face of his teacher for his ideas to be extinguished as a candle is blown out when you bring it into the wind on the verandah. Once, overcome, forgetting himself as though in delirium, he could not restrain himself, and barred her way as she was going from the study into the entry after the lesson, and, gasping for breath and stammering, began to declare his love:
Sometimes in the middle of a lesson, he would start daydreaming, making wishes and planning. He mentally crafted love declarations, recalling that French women were playful and easy to win over, but just a glance at his teacher's face would put out his thoughts like a candle flickering out in the wind on the porch. Once, overwhelmed and losing himself as if in a daze, he couldn't hold back and blocked her path as she was leaving the classroom for the hallway after class, gasping for air and stuttering, he began to confess his love:
“You are dear to me! I . . . I love you! Allow me to speak.”
“You mean so much to me! I... I love you! Please let me talk.”
And Alice turned pale—probably from dismay, reflecting that after this declaration she could not come here again and get a rouble a lesson. With a frightened look in her eyes she said in a loud whisper:
And Alice turned pale—probably from shock, realizing that after this declaration she couldn't come back here again and earn a rouble per lesson. With a scared look in her eyes, she said in a loud whisper:
“Ach, you mustn’t! Don’t speak, I entreat you! You mustn’t!”
“Ah, please don’t! Don’t say anything, I’m begging you! You shouldn’t!”
And Vorotov did not sleep all night afterwards; he was tortured by shame; he blamed himself and thought intensely. It seemed to him that he had insulted the girl by his declaration, that she would not come to him again.
And Vorotov couldn’t sleep all night afterward; he was consumed by shame; he blamed himself and thought deeply. It felt to him like he had insulted the girl with his confession, and he believed she wouldn’t come to him again.
He resolved to find out her address from the address bureau in the morning, and to write her a letter of apology. But Alice came without a letter. For the first minute she felt uncomfortable, then she opened a book and began briskly and rapidly translating as usual:
He decided to check the address bureau for her address in the morning and write her an apology letter. But Alice showed up without a letter. For the first minute, she felt awkward, then she opened a book and started translating quickly and energetically as usual:
“‘Oh, young gentleman, don’t tear those flowers in my garden which I want to be giving to my ill daughter. . . .’”
“‘Oh, young man, please don’t pick those flowers from my garden that I want to give to my sick daughter. . . .’”
She still comes to this day. Four books have already been translated, but Vorotov knows no French but the word “Mémoires,” and when he is asked about his literary researches, he waves his hand, and without answering, turns the conversation to the weather.
She still comes to this day. Four books have already been translated, but Vorotov knows no French except for the word “Mémoires,” and when he is asked about his literary research, he waves his hand, and without answering, changes the subject to the weather.
THE PRINCESS
A CARRIAGE with four fine sleek horses drove in at the big so-called Red Gate of the N—- Monastery. While it was still at a distance, the priests and monks who were standing in a group round the part of the hostel allotted to the gentry, recognised by the coachman and horses that the lady in the carriage was Princess Vera Gavrilovna, whom they knew very well.
A CARRIAGE with four elegant, sleek horses pulled into the large Red Gate of the N—- Monastery. Even from a distance, the priests and monks standing in a group near the section of the hostel reserved for the elite recognized by the coachman and horses that the lady in the carriage was Princess Vera Gavrilovna, whom they knew quite well.
An old man in livery jumped off the box and helped the princess to get out of the carriage. She raised her dark veil and moved in a leisurely way up to the priests to receive their blessing; then she nodded pleasantly to the rest of the monks and went into the hostel.
An old man in a uniform jumped down from the front of the carriage and helped the princess get out. She lifted her dark veil and walked slowly up to the priests to receive their blessing; then she smiled pleasantly at the other monks and went into the hostel.
“Well, have you missed your princess?” she said to the monk who brought in her things. “It’s a whole month since I’ve been to see you. But here I am; behold your princess. And where is the Father Superior? My goodness, I am burning with impatience! Wonderful, wonderful old man! You must be proud of having such a Superior.”
“Well, have you missed your princess?” she asked the monk who brought her things. “It’s been a whole month since I’ve seen you. But here I am; behold your princess. And where is the Father Superior? My goodness, I’m burning with impatience! Wonderful, wonderful old man! You must be proud to have such a Superior.”
When the Father Superior came in, the princess uttered a shriek of delight, crossed her arms over her bosom, and went up to receive his blessing.
When the Father Superior walked in, the princess let out a scream of joy, crossed her arms over her chest, and stepped forward to receive his blessing.
“No, no, let me kiss your hand,” she said, snatching it and eagerly kissing it three times. “How glad I am to see you at last, holy Father! I’m sure you’ve forgotten your princess, but my thoughts have been in your dear monastery every moment. How delightful it is here! This living for God far from the busy, giddy world has a special charm of its own, holy Father, which I feel with my whole soul although I cannot express it!”
“No, no, let me kiss your hand,” she said, grabbing it and eagerly kissing it three times. “I’m so happy to finally see you, holy Father! I’m sure you’ve forgotten your princess, but I’ve been thinking about your dear monastery every moment. It’s such a delightful place! This life dedicated to God away from the hectic, dizzying world has a unique charm that I feel with all my heart, even though I can’t put it into words!”
The princess’s cheeks glowed and tears came into her eyes. She talked incessantly, fervently, while the Father Superior, a grave, plain, shy old man of seventy, remained mute or uttered abruptly, like a soldier on duty, phrases such as:
The princess’s cheeks flushed, and tears filled her eyes. She spoke non-stop and passionately, while the Father Superior, a serious, unassuming, shy old man of seventy, stayed silent or responded abruptly, like a soldier on duty, with phrases such as:
“Certainly, Your Excellency. . . . Quite so. I understand.”
“Of course, Your Excellency. . . . Absolutely. I get it.”
“Has Your Excellency come for a long stay?” he inquired.
“Have you come for a long visit?” he asked.
“I shall stay the night here, and to-morrow I’m going on to Klavdia Nikolaevna’s—it’s a long time since I’ve seen her—and the day after to-morrow I’ll come back to you and stay three or four days. I want to rest my soul here among you, holy Father. . . .”
“I'll stay the night here, and tomorrow I’m heading to see Klavdia Nikolaevna—it’s been a while since I’ve seen her—and the day after tomorrow, I’ll come back to you and stay for three or four days. I want to rest my soul here with you, holy Father...”
The princess liked being at the monastery at N—-. For the last two years it had been a favourite resort of hers; she used to go there almost every month in the summer and stay two or three days, even sometimes a week. The shy novices, the stillness, the low ceilings, the smell of cypress, the modest fare, the cheap curtains on the windows—all this touched her, softened her, and disposed her to contemplation and good thoughts. It was enough for her to be half an hour in the hostel for her to feel that she, too, was timid and modest, and that she, too, smelt of cypress-wood. The past retreated into the background, lost its significance, and the princess began to imagine that in spite of her twenty-nine years she was very much like the old Father Superior, and that, like him, she was created not for wealth, not for earthly grandeur and love, but for a peaceful life secluded from the world, a life in twilight like the hostel.
The princess enjoyed her time at the monastery at N—-. For the past two years, it had become one of her favorite places; she would go there almost every month during the summer and stay for two or three days, sometimes even a week. The shy novices, the quietness, the low ceilings, the scent of cypress, the simple food, the inexpensive curtains on the windows—all of this moved her, softened her, and made her feel contemplative and kind. Just being in the hostel for half an hour made her feel that she, too, was shy and humble, and that she, too, carried the scent of cypress wood. The past faded away, losing its importance, and the princess started to believe that despite her twenty-nine years, she was very much like the old Father Superior, and that, like him, she was made not for wealth, not for worldly glory and love, but for a peaceful life away from society, a life in the twilight like the hostel.
It happens that a ray of light gleams in the dark cell of the anchorite absorbed in prayer, or a bird alights on the window and sings its song; the stern anchorite will smile in spite of himself, and a gentle, sinless joy will pierce through the load of grief over his sins, like water flowing from under a stone. The princess fancied she brought from the outside world just such comfort as the ray of light or the bird. Her gay, friendly smile, her gentle eyes, her voice, her jests, her whole personality in fact, her little graceful figure always dressed in simple black, must arouse in simple, austere people a feeling of tenderness and joy. Every one, looking at her, must think: “God has sent us an angel. . . .” And feeling that no one could help thinking this, she smiled still more cordially, and tried to look like a bird.
It happens that a ray of light shines in the dark cell of the hermit absorbed in prayer, or a bird lands on the window and sings its song; the serious hermit can’t help but smile, and a gentle, pure joy breaks through the weight of his sorrow over his sins, like water flowing out from under a stone. The princess believed she brought from the outside world just that kind of comfort, like the ray of light or the bird. Her cheerful, friendly smile, her kind eyes, her voice, her jokes, her whole personality really, and her small graceful figure always dressed in simple black, should evoke a sense of warmth and joy in simple, stern people. Everyone looking at her must think: “God has sent us an angel...” And knowing that no one could help but think this, she smiled even more warmly and tried to look like a bird.
After drinking tea and resting, she went for a walk. The sun was already setting. From the monastery garden came a moist fragrance of freshly watered mignonette, and from the church floated the soft singing of men’s voices, which seemed very pleasant and mournful in the distance. It was the evening service. In the dark windows where the little lamps glowed gently, in the shadows, in the figure of the old monk sitting at the church door with a collecting-box, there was such unruffled peace that the princess felt moved to tears.
After having tea and taking a break, she went for a walk. The sun was already setting. The monastery garden was filled with the fresh scent of watered mignonette, and the soft sound of men’s voices singing from the church floated in the air, both pleasant and a bit sad in the distance. It was time for the evening service. In the dark windows where little lamps glowed softly, in the shadows, and in the figure of the old monk sitting at the church door with a donation box, there was such a sense of calm that the princess was moved to tears.
Outside the gate, in the walk between the wall and the birch-trees where there were benches, it was quite evening. The air grew rapidly darker and darker. The princess went along the walk, sat on a seat, and sank into thought.
Outside the gate, on the path between the wall and the birch trees where there were benches, it was early evening. The air quickly grew darker and darker. The princess walked along the path, sat on a bench, and fell into deep thought.
She thought how good it would be to settle down for her whole life in this monastery where life was as still and unruffled as a summer evening; how good it would be to forget the ungrateful, dissipated prince; to forget her immense estates, the creditors who worried her every day, her misfortunes, her maid Dasha, who had looked at her impertinently that morning. It would be nice to sit here on the bench all her life and watch through the trunks of the birch-trees the evening mist gathering in wreaths in the valley below; the rooks flying home in a black cloud like a veil far, far away above the forest; two novices, one astride a piebald horse, another on foot driving out the horses for the night and rejoicing in their freedom, playing pranks like little children; their youthful voices rang out musically in the still air, and she could distinguish every word. It is nice to sit and listen to the silence: at one moment the wind blows and stirs the tops of the birch-trees, then a frog rustles in last year’s leaves, then the clock on the belfry strikes the quarter. . . . One might sit without moving, listen and think, and think. . . .
She thought about how nice it would be to settle down for her whole life in this monastery where life was as calm and peaceful as a summer evening; how great it would be to forget about the ungrateful, wild prince; to forget her huge estates, the creditors who stressed her out every day, her misfortunes, and her maid Dasha, who had looked at her disrespectfully that morning. It would be wonderful to sit here on the bench for the rest of her life and watch the evening mist gather in wisps in the valley below through the birch trees; the rooks flying home in a dark cloud like a veil far above the forest; two novices, one riding a piebald horse, the other on foot leading the horses out for the night and enjoying their freedom, playing around like little kids; their youthful voices rang out melodiously in the still air, and she could make out every word. It’s nice to sit and listen to the silence: at one moment the wind blows and rustles the tops of the birch trees, then a frog moves through last year’s leaves, then the clock on the belfry chimes the quarter… One could sit still, listen, and think, and think…
An old woman passed by with a wallet on her back. The princess thought that it would be nice to stop the old woman and to say something friendly and cordial to her, to help her. . . . But the old woman turned the corner without once looking round.
An old woman walked by with a bag on her back. The princess thought it would be nice to stop the old woman and say something friendly and warm to her, to help her... But the old woman turned the corner without looking back.
Not long afterwards a tall man with a grey beard and a straw hat came along the walk. When he came up to the princess, he took off his hat and bowed. From the bald patch on his head and his sharp, hooked nose the princess recognised him as the doctor, Mihail Ivanovitch, who had been in her service at Dubovki. She remembered that some one had told her that his wife had died the year before, and she wanted to sympathise with him, to console him.
Not long after, a tall man with a gray beard and a straw hat walked down the path. When he approached the princess, he removed his hat and bowed. From the bald spot on his head and his sharp, hooked nose, the princess recognized him as the doctor, Mihail Ivanovitch, who had worked for her at Dubovki. She recalled that someone had mentioned his wife had passed away the year before, and she felt the urge to express her sympathy and comfort him.
“Doctor, I expect you don’t recognise me?” she said with an affable smile.
“Doctor, I bet you don’t remember me?” she said with a friendly smile.
“Yes, Princess, I recognised you,” said the doctor, taking off his hat again.
“Yes, Princess, I recognized you,” said the doctor, taking off his hat again.
“Oh, thank you; I was afraid that you, too, had forgotten your princess. People only remember their enemies, but they forget their friends. Have you, too, come to pray?”
“Oh, thank you; I was worried you had forgotten about your princess too. People tend to remember their enemies but forget their friends. Have you come to pray as well?”
“I am the doctor here, and I have to spend the night at the monastery every Saturday.”
“I’m the doctor here, and I have to spend the night at the monastery every Saturday.”
“Well, how are you?” said the princess, sighing. “I hear that you have lost your wife. What a calamity!”
“Well, how are you?” said the princess with a sigh. “I heard you lost your wife. That’s such a tragedy!”
“Yes, Princess, for me it is a great calamity.”
“Yes, Princess, it’s a huge tragedy for me.”
“There’s nothing for it! We must bear our troubles with resignation. Not one hair of a man’s head is lost without the Divine Will.”
“There’s nothing we can do! We have to accept our troubles. Not a single hair on a person’s head is lost without God’s Will.”
“Yes, Princess.”
“Yeah, Princess.”
To the princess’s friendly, gentle smile and her sighs the doctor responded coldly and dryly: “Yes, Princess.” And the expression of his face was cold and dry.
To the princess’s warm, gentle smile and her sighs, the doctor replied in a cold and detached manner, “Yes, Princess.” His face looked just as cold and emotionless.
“What else can I say to him?” she wondered.
“What else can I say to him?” she thought.
“How long it is since we met!” she said. “Five years! How much water has flowed under the bridge, how many changes in that time; it quite frightens one to think of it! You know, I am married. . . . I am not a countess now, but a princess. And by now I am separated from my husband too.”
“How long has it been since we last saw each other!” she said. “Five years! So much has happened, so many changes in that time; it’s a bit overwhelming to think about it! You know, I’m married now... I’m not a countess anymore, but a princess. And I’ve also separated from my husband.”
“Yes, I heard so.”
"Yeah, I heard that."
“God has sent me many trials. No doubt you have heard, too, that I am almost ruined. My Dubovki, Sofyino, and Kiryakovo have all been sold for my unhappy husband’s debts. And I have only Baranovo and Mihaltsevo left. It’s terrible to look back: how many changes and misfortunes of all kinds, how many mistakes!”
“God has sent me many challenges. You’ve probably heard that I’m nearly broke. My Dubovki, Sofyino, and Kiryakovo have all been sold to pay off my unfortunate husband’s debts. Now, I’m left with just Baranovo and Mihaltsevo. It’s awful to reflect on it: so many changes and troubles, so many mistakes!”
“Yes, Princess, many mistakes.”
"Yes, Princess, lots of mistakes."
The princess was a little disconcerted. She knew her mistakes; they were all of such a private character that no one but she could think or speak of them. She could not resist asking:
The princess felt a bit unsettled. She was aware of her mistakes; they were all so personal that no one but she could think or talk about them. She couldn’t help but ask:
“What mistakes are you thinking about?”
“What mistakes are you thinking about?”
“You referred to them, so you know them . . .” answered the doctor, and he smiled. “Why talk about them!”
“You mentioned them, so you know them . . .” replied the doctor with a smile. “Why bother talking about them!”
“No; tell me, doctor. I shall be very grateful to you. And please don’t stand on ceremony with me. I love to hear the truth.”
“No; tell me, doctor. I would really appreciate it. And please don’t be formal with me. I love hearing the truth.”
“I am not your judge, Princess.”
"I'm not judging you, Princess."
“Not my judge! What a tone you take! You must know something about me. Tell me!”
“Not my judge! What attitude you have! You must know something about me. Tell me!”
“If you really wish it, very well. Only I regret to say I’m not clever at talking, and people can’t always understand me.”
“If you really want to, that’s fine. I just regret to say I’m not great at talking, and people don’t always get what I mean.”
The doctor thought a moment and began:
The doctor paused for a moment and started:
“A lot of mistakes; but the most important of them, in my opinion, was the general spirit that prevailed on all your estates. You see, I don’t know how to express myself. I mean chiefly the lack of love, the aversion for people that was felt in absolutely everything. Your whole system of life was built upon that aversion. Aversion for the human voice, for faces, for heads, steps . . . in fact, for everything that makes up a human being. At all the doors and on the stairs there stand sleek, rude, and lazy grooms in livery to prevent badly dressed persons from entering the house; in the hall there are chairs with high backs so that the footmen waiting there, during balls and receptions, may not soil the walls with their heads; in every room there are thick carpets that no human step may be heard; every one who comes in is infallibly warned to speak as softly and as little as possible, and to say nothing that might have a disagreeable effect on the nerves or the imagination. And in your room you don’t shake hands with any one or ask him to sit down— just as you didn’t shake hands with me or ask me to sit down. . . .”
“A lot of mistakes; but the most important one, in my opinion, was the overall atmosphere that existed on all your properties. You see, I’m not sure how to put it into words. I mean primarily the absence of love, the dislike for people that was evident in everything. Your entire way of life was built on that dislike. Dislike for the human voice, for faces, for heads, for footsteps... in fact, for everything that makes us human. At every door and on the stairs, there are slick, rude, and lazy servants in uniform to keep poorly dressed people from entering the house; in the hall, there are high-backed chairs so that the footmen waiting there during balls and receptions don’t lean their heads against the walls; in every room, there are thick carpets so that no human step can be heard; everyone who enters is always reminded to speak as quietly and as little as possible and to avoid saying anything that might be upsetting to the nerves or the imagination. And in your room, you don’t shake hands with anyone or invite them to sit down— just like you didn’t shake hands with me or ask me to sit down...”
“By all means, if you like,” said the princess, smiling and holding out her hand. “Really, to be cross about such trifles. . . .”
“Sure, if that’s what you want,” said the princess, smiling and extending her hand. “Honestly, getting upset over such small things...”
“But I am not cross,” laughed the doctor, but at once he flushed, took off his hat, and waving it about, began hotly: “To be candid, I’ve long wanted an opportunity to tell you all I think. . . . That is, I want to tell you that you look upon the mass of mankind from the Napoleonic standpoint as food for the cannon. But Napoleon had at least some idea; you have nothing except aversion.”
“But I’m not angry,” the doctor laughed, but immediately he turned red, took off his hat, and started waving it around as he exclaimed: “To be honest, I’ve really wanted to take this chance to share my thoughts with you. . . . I mean to say that you see most people as just cannon fodder, like Napoleon did. But at least Napoleon had some vision; all you seem to have is disdain.”
“I have an aversion for people?” smiled the princess, shrugging her shoulders in astonishment. “I have!”
“I have a dislike for people?” the princess smiled, shrugging her shoulders in surprise. “I do!”
“Yes, you! You want facts? By all means. In Mihaltsevo three former cooks of yours, who have gone blind in your kitchens from the heat of the stove, are living upon charity. All the health and strength and good looks that is found on your hundreds of thousands of acres is taken by you and your parasites for your grooms, your footmen, and your coachmen. All these two-legged cattle are trained to be flunkeys, overeat themselves, grow coarse, lose the ‘image and likeness,’ in fact. . . . Young doctors, agricultural experts, teachers, intellectual workers generally—think of it!—are torn away from their honest work and forced for a crust of bread to take part in all sorts of mummeries which make every decent man feel ashamed! Some young men cannot be in your service for three years without becoming hypocrites, toadies, sneaks. . . . Is that a good thing? Your Polish superintendents, those abject spies, all those Kazimers and Kaetans, go hunting about on your hundreds of thousands of acres from morning to night, and to please you try to get three skins off one ox. Excuse me, I speak disconnectedly, but that doesn’t matter. You don’t look upon the simple people as human beings. And even the princes, counts, and bishops who used to come and see you, you looked upon simply as decorative figures, not as living beings. But the worst of all, the thing that most revolts me, is having a fortune of over a million and doing nothing for other people, nothing!”
“Yes, you! You want facts? Sure thing. In Mihaltsevo, three of your former cooks, who went blind in your kitchens from the heat of the stove, are living on charity. All the health, strength, and good looks found on your hundreds of thousands of acres are taken by you and your hangers-on for your grooms, your footmen, and your coachmen. All these hired hands are trained to be yes-men, overindulge, grow rough around the edges, and lose their dignity. Think about it! Young doctors, agricultural experts, teachers, and intellectuals are being pulled away from their meaningful work and forced to participate in ridiculous performances just to scrape by! Some young men can't serve you for three years without turning into hypocrites, sycophants, and sneakers. Is that a good thing? Your Polish supervisors, those pathetic spies, all those Kazimers and Kaetans, spend their days roaming your vast lands, trying to please you by getting three skins off a single ox. Sorry, I’m rambling, but that doesn’t matter. You don’t see ordinary people as human beings. And even the princes, counts, and bishops who used to visit you were regarded as mere decorations, not as real people. But what bothers me the most—the thing that genuinely disgusts me—is having a fortune of over a million and doing absolutely nothing for others, nothing!”
The princess sat amazed, aghast, offended, not knowing what to say or how to behave. She had never before been spoken to in such a tone. The doctor’s unpleasant, angry voice and his clumsy, faltering phrases made a harsh clattering noise in her ears and her head. Then she began to feel as though the gesticulating doctor was hitting her on the head with his hat.
The princess sat in shock, stunned and insulted, unsure of what to say or how to react. She had never been spoken to like that before. The doctor's unpleasant, angry voice and his awkward, stumbling phrases sounded jarring in her ears and head. Then, she started to feel as if the gesturing doctor was hitting her on the head with his hat.
“It’s not true!” she articulated softly, in an imploring voice. “I’ve done a great deal of good for other people; you know it yourself!”
“It’s not true!” she said softly, with a pleading tone. “I’ve done a lot of good for other people; you know it yourself!”
“Nonsense!” cried the doctor. “Can you possibly go on thinking of your philanthropic work as something genuine and useful, and not a mere mummery? It was a farce from beginning to end; it was playing at loving your neighbour, the most open farce which even children and stupid peasant women saw through! Take for instance your— what was it called?—house for homeless old women without relations, of which you made me something like a head doctor, and of which you were the patroness. Mercy on us! What a charming institution it was! A house was built with parquet floors and a weathercock on the roof; a dozen old women were collected from the villages and made to sleep under blankets and sheets of Dutch linen, and given toffee to eat.”
“Ridiculous!” shouted the doctor. “How can you keep believing that your charitable work is anything real or helpful, and not just a show? It was a joke from start to finish; it was pretending to care about your neighbor, the most obvious joke that even kids and simple village women could see through! Take, for example, your—what was it called?—home for homeless elderly women without families, for which you made me something like the chief doctor and you were the patron. Good grief! What a lovely establishment it was! They built a house with nice floors and a weather vane on the roof; they gathered a dozen elderly women from the villages and made them sleep under blankets and sheets of Dutch linen, and treated them to candy.”
The doctor gave a malignant chuckle into his hat, and went on speaking rapidly and stammering:
The doctor let out a sinister laugh into his hat and continued talking quickly, stumbling over his words:
“It was a farce! The attendants kept the sheets and the blankets under lock and key, for fear the old women should soil them—‘Let the old devil’s pepper-pots sleep on the floor.’ The old women did not dare to sit down on the beds, to put on their jackets, to walk over the polished floors. Everything was kept for show and hidden away from the old women as though they were thieves, and the old women were clothed and fed on the sly by other people’s charity, and prayed to God night and day to be released from their prison and from the canting exhortations of the sleek rascals to whose care you committed them. And what did the managers do? It was simply charming! About twice a week there would be thirty-five thousand messages to say that the princess—that is, you—were coming to the home next day. That meant that next day I had to abandon my patients, dress up and be on parade. Very good; I arrive. The old women, in everything clean and new, are already drawn up in a row, waiting. Near them struts the old garrison rat—the superintendent with his mawkish, sneaking smile. The old women yawn and exchange glances, but are afraid to complain. We wait. The junior steward gallops up. Half an hour later the senior steward; then the superintendent of the accounts’ office, then another, and then another of them . . . they keep arriving endlessly. They all have mysterious, solemn faces. We wait and wait, shift from one leg to another, look at the clock—all this in monumental silence because we all hate each other like poison. One hour passes, then a second, and then at last the carriage is seen in the distance, and . . . and . . .”
“It was a total joke! The staff kept the sheets and blankets locked up because they were afraid the old ladies would mess them up—‘Let those old crones sleep on the floor.’ The old ladies didn’t even dare to sit on the beds, put on their coats, or walk on the shiny floors. Everything was just for show and hidden from them as if they were thieves, and they were quietly fed and dressed by the kindness of others, praying day and night to be freed from their confinement and from the pompous lectures of the smooth-talking scoundrels they were left with. And what did the managers do? It was just delightful! About twice a week, there were thirty-five thousand messages saying that the princess—that is, you—would be visiting the home the next day. That meant I had to ditch my patients, dress up, and be ready to show off. So I show up. The old ladies, all cleaned up and dressed in new clothes, are lined up, waiting. Nearby struts the old garrison rat—the superintendent, with his sickening, sneaky grin. The old ladies yawn and exchange looks but are too scared to say anything. We wait. The junior steward rushes in. Half an hour later, the senior steward arrives; then the head of the accounts office, and then another, and then another… they just keep coming. They all have serious, mysterious expressions. We wait and wait, shifting from one foot to the other, glancing at the clock—all in total silence because we all loathe each other. One hour passes, then a second, and finally, we see the carriage in the distance, and… and…”
The doctor went off into a shrill laugh and brought out in a shrill voice:
The doctor burst into a high-pitched laugh and spoke in a shrill voice:
“You get out of the carriage, and the old hags, at the word of command from the old garrison rat, begin chanting: ‘The Glory of our Lord in Zion the tongue of man cannot express. . .’ A pretty scene, wasn’t it?”
“You step out of the carriage, and the old hags, at the command of the old garrison rat, start chanting: ‘The Glory of our Lord in Zion the tongue of man cannot express. . .’ Quite a sight, wasn’t it?”
The doctor went off into a bass chuckle, and waved his hand as though to signify that he could not utter another word for laughing. He laughed heavily, harshly, with clenched teeth, as ill-natured people laugh; and from his voice, from his face, from his glittering, rather insolent eyes it could be seen that he had a profound contempt for the princess, for the home, and for the old women. There was nothing amusing or laughable in all that he described so clumsily and coarsely, but he laughed with satisfaction, even with delight.
The doctor broke into a deep laugh and waved his hand as if to say he couldn't say another word because he was laughing so hard. He laughed heavily and harshly, with clenched teeth, like an ill-tempered person; and from his voice, face, and his shining, somewhat arrogant eyes, it was clear he held deep contempt for the princess, the home, and the elderly women. There was nothing funny or laughable in what he awkwardly and roughly described, yet he laughed with satisfaction, even joy.
“And the school?” he went on, panting from laughter. “Do you remember how you wanted to teach peasant children yourself? You must have taught them very well, for very soon the children all ran away, so that they had to be thrashed and bribed to come and be taught. And you remember how you wanted to feed with your own hands the infants whose mothers were working in the fields. You went about the village crying because the infants were not at your disposal, as the mothers would take them to the fields with them. Then the village foreman ordered the mothers by turns to leave their infants behind for your entertainment. A strange thing! They all ran away from your benevolence like mice from a cat! And why was it? It’s very simple. Not because our people are ignorant and ungrateful, as you always explained it to yourself, but because in all your fads, if you’ll excuse the word, there wasn’t a ha’p’orth of love and kindness! There was nothing but the desire to amuse yourself with living puppets, nothing else. . . . A person who does not feel the difference between a human being and a lap-dog ought not to go in for philanthropy. I assure you, there’s a great difference between human beings and lap-dogs!”
“And the school?” he continued, laughing hard. “Do you remember how you wanted to teach the kids from the village yourself? You must have done a great job because soon all the kids ran away, and they had to be punished and bribed to come back to learn. And remember how you wanted to feed the babies whose mothers were out in the fields? You wandered around the village upset because the babies weren’t available to you since their moms took them along to work. Then the village foreman made the mothers take turns leaving their infants with you for your amusement. It’s strange! They all ran away from your kindness like mice from a cat! But why was that? It's pretty simple. Not because our people are uneducated and ungrateful, as you always told yourself, but because there was no real love or kindness in any of your ideas, if I can call them that. You just wanted to entertain yourself with living dolls, nothing more… A person who can’t tell the difference between a human and a lapdog shouldn't get involved in philanthropy. I assure you, there’s a big difference between humans and lapdogs!”
The princess’s heart was beating dreadfully; there was a thudding in her ears, and she still felt as though the doctor were beating her on the head with his hat. The doctor talked quickly, excitedly, and uncouthly, stammering and gesticulating unnecessarily. All she grasped was that she was spoken to by a coarse, ill-bred, spiteful, and ungrateful man; but what he wanted of her and what he was talking about, she could not understand.
The princess’s heart was pounding terribly; there was a thumping in her ears, and she felt like the doctor was hitting her on the head with his hat. The doctor talked fast, excitedly, and in a rough manner, stammering and waving his hands around unnecessarily. All she understood was that a rude, ill-mannered, bitter, and ungrateful man was speaking to her; but she couldn't figure out what he wanted or what he was talking about.
“Go away!” she said in a tearful voice, putting up her hands to protect her head from the doctor’s hat; “go away!”
“Leave me alone!” she said in a tearful voice, raising her hands to shield her head from the doctor’s hat; “just go away!”
“And how you treat your servants!” the doctor went on, indignantly. “You treat them as the lowest scoundrels, and don’t look upon them as human beings. For example, allow me to ask, why did you dismiss me? For ten years I worked for your father and afterwards for you, honestly, without vacations or holidays. I gained the love of all for more than seventy miles round, and suddenly one fine day I am informed that I am no longer wanted. What for? I’ve no idea to this day. I, a doctor of medicine, a gentleman by birth, a student of the Moscow University, father of a family—am such a petty, insignificant insect that you can kick me out without explaining the reason! Why stand on ceremony with me! I heard afterwards that my wife went without my knowledge three times to intercede with you for me—you wouldn’t receive her. I am told she cried in your hall. And I shall never forgive her for it, never!”
“And the way you treat your servants!” the doctor continued, outraged. “You treat them like the lowest scoundrels and don’t see them as human beings. For instance, let me ask, why did you fire me? I worked for your father and then for you for ten years, honestly, without any vacations or holidays. I earned the affection of everyone for over seventy miles around, and suddenly, one day, I’m told that I’m no longer needed. Why? I still have no idea. I, a doctor of medicine, a gentleman by birth, a student from Moscow University, a family man—am I such a petty, insignificant insect that you can just toss me out without any explanation? Why bother being polite with me! I later heard that my wife went to plead with you for me three times without my knowledge—you wouldn’t see her. I was told she cried in your hallway. And I will never forgive her for that, never!”
The doctor paused and clenched his teeth, making an intense effort to think of something more to say, very unpleasant and vindictive. He thought of something, and his cold, frowning face suddenly brightened.
The doctor stopped for a moment and gritted his teeth, trying hard to come up with something more to say, something really unpleasant and spiteful. He finally thought of something, and his cold, serious expression suddenly lit up.
“Take your attitude to this monastery!” he said with avidity. “You’ve never spared any one, and the holier the place, the more chance of its suffering from your loving-kindness and angelic sweetness. Why do you come here? What do you want with the monks here, allow me to ask you? What is Hecuba to you or you to Hecuba? It’s another farce, another amusement for you, another sacrilege against human dignity, and nothing more. Why, you don’t believe in the monks’ God; you’ve a God of your own in your heart, whom you’ve evolved for yourself at spiritualist séances. You look with condescension upon the ritual of the Church; you don’t go to mass or vespers; you sleep till midday. . . . Why do you come here? . . . You come with a God of your own into a monastery you have nothing to do with, and you imagine that the monks look upon it as a very great honour. To be sure they do! You’d better ask, by the way, what your visits cost the monastery. You were graciously pleased to arrive here this evening, and a messenger from your estate arrived on horseback the day before yesterday to warn them of your coming. They were the whole day yesterday getting the rooms ready and expecting you. This morning your advance-guard arrived—an insolent maid, who keeps running across the courtyard, rustling her skirts, pestering them with questions, giving orders. . . . I can’t endure it! The monks have been on the lookout all day, for if you were not met with due ceremony, there would be trouble! You’d complain to the bishop! ‘The monks don’t like me, your holiness; I don’t know what I’ve done to displease them. It’s true I’m a great sinner, but I’m so unhappy!’ Already one monastery has been in hot water over you. The Father Superior is a busy, learned man; he hasn’t a free moment, and you keep sending for him to come to your rooms. Not a trace of respect for age or for rank! If at least you were a bountiful giver to the monastery, one wouldn’t resent it so much, but all this time the monks have not received a hundred roubles from you!”
“Bring your attitude to this monastery!” he said eagerly. “You’ve never held back with anyone, and the more sacred the place, the more chance it has of suffering from your so-called kindness and angelic nature. Why are you here? What do you want with the monks? What does Hecuba mean to you or you to Hecuba? It’s just another joke, another entertainment for you, another insult to human dignity, and nothing more. You don’t even believe in the monks’ God; you’ve got your own version in your heart, one you created for yourself at spiritualist meetings. You look down on the Church's rituals; you don’t attend mass or vespers; you sleep until noon. . . . Why are you here? . . . You come with your own God into a monastery that you have no connection to, and think the monks see it as a huge honor. Of course they do! You might want to find out what your visits cost the monastery. You kindly decided to show up here this evening, and a messenger from your estate rode in two days ago to notify them of your arrival. They spent all day yesterday preparing the rooms and waiting for you. This morning your advance team showed up—an arrogant maid who keeps rushing across the courtyard, rustling her skirts, bothering them with questions, giving orders. . . . I can't stand it! The monks have been anxious all day because if you aren’t treated with the proper ceremony, there’ll be trouble! You’d complain to the bishop! ‘The monks don’t like me, your holiness; I don’t know what I’ve done to upset them. It’s true I’m a great sinner, but I’m so miserable!’ One monastery has already found itself in trouble because of you. The Father Superior is a busy, learned man; he doesn’t have a moment to spare, and you keep summoning him to your rooms. There’s no respect for age or rank! If only you were a generous donor to the monastery, it wouldn’t be so frustrating, but all this time the monks haven’t received even a hundred roubles from you!”
Whenever people worried the princess, misunderstood her, or mortified her, and when she did not know what to say or do, she usually began to cry. And on this occasion, too, she ended by hiding her face in her hands and crying aloud in a thin treble like a child. The doctor suddenly stopped and looked at her. His face darkened and grew stern.
Whenever people upset the princess, misinterpreted her, or embarrassed her, and when she didn’t know what to say or do, she usually started to cry. And on this occasion, too, she ended up hiding her face in her hands and crying out in a high-pitched voice like a child. The doctor suddenly stopped and stared at her. His expression darkened and became serious.
“Forgive me, Princess,” he said in a hollow voice. “I’ve given way to a malicious feeling and forgotten myself. It was not right.”
“Forgive me, Princess,” he said with a hollow tone. “I let a malicious feeling take over and lost myself. That wasn’t right.”
And coughing in an embarrassed way, he walked away quickly, without remembering to put his hat on.
And coughing awkwardly, he quickly walked away, forgetting to put on his hat.
Stars were already twinkling in the sky. The moon must have been rising on the further side of the monastery, for the sky was clear, soft, and transparent. Bats were flitting noiselessly along the white monastery wall.
Stars were already twinkling in the sky. The moon must have been rising on the other side of the monastery, since the sky was clear, soft, and transparent. Bats were flying silently along the white monastery wall.
The clock slowly struck three quarters, probably a quarter to nine. The princess got up and walked slowly to the gate. She felt wounded and was crying, and she felt that the trees and the stars and even the bats were pitying her, and that the clock struck musically only to express its sympathy with her. She cried and thought how nice it would be to go into a monastery for the rest of her life. On still summer evenings she would walk alone through the avenues, insulted, injured, misunderstood by people, and only God and the starry heavens would see the martyr’s tears. The evening service was still going on in the church. The princess stopped and listened to the singing; how beautiful the singing sounded in the still darkness! How sweet to weep and suffer to the sound of that singing!
The clock slowly chimed three quarters, probably a quarter to nine. The princess got up and walked slowly to the gate. She felt hurt and was crying, sensing that the trees, the stars, and even the bats were feeling sorry for her, and that the clock chimed beautifully just to show its sympathy. She cried and thought about how nice it would be to enter a monastery for the rest of her life. On quiet summer evenings, she would walk alone through the paths, insulted, hurt, and misunderstood by people, with only God and the starry sky witnessing her tears. The evening service was still happening in the church. The princess paused and listened to the singing; how beautiful it sounded in the still darkness! How comforting it was to weep and suffer to the sound of that singing!
Going into her rooms, she looked at her tear-stained face in the glass and powdered it, then she sat down to supper. The monks knew that she liked pickled sturgeon, little mushrooms, Malaga and plain honey-cakes that left a taste of cypress in the mouth, and every time she came they gave her all these dishes. As she ate the mushrooms and drank the Malaga, the princess dreamed of how she would be finally ruined and deserted—how all her stewards, bailiffs, clerks, and maid-servants for whom she had done so much, would be false to her, and begin to say rude things; how people all the world over would set upon her, speak ill of her, jeer at her. She would renounce her title, would renounce society and luxury, and would go into a convent without one word of reproach to any one; she would pray for her enemies—and then they would all understand her and come to beg her forgiveness, but by that time it would be too late. . . .
Going into her rooms, she looked at her tear-streaked face in the mirror and powdered it, then sat down to dinner. The monks knew she loved pickled sturgeon, tiny mushrooms, Malaga wine, and plain honey cakes that left a cypress taste in her mouth, so every time she visited, they treated her to all these dishes. As she ate the mushrooms and drank the Malaga, the princess imagined how she would eventually be ruined and abandoned—how all her stewards, bailiffs, clerks, and maids, for whom she had done so much, would betray her and start saying mean things; how people all over the world would turn against her, speak poorly of her, and mock her. She would give up her title, renounce society and luxury, and go into a convent without a single word of blame toward anyone; she would pray for her enemies—and then they would all understand her and come to ask for her forgiveness, but by that time it would be too late...
After supper she knelt down in the corner before the ikon and read two chapters of the Gospel. Then her maid made her bed and she got into it. Stretching herself under the white quilt, she heaved a sweet, deep sigh, as one sighs after crying, closed her eyes, and began to fall asleep.
After dinner, she knelt in the corner in front of the icon and read two chapters from the Gospel. Then her maid made her bed, and she got in. Stretching out under the white quilt, she let out a soft, deep sigh, like someone does after crying, closed her eyes, and started to drift off to sleep.
In the morning she waked up and glanced at her watch. It was half-past nine. On the carpet near the bed was a bright, narrow streak of sunlight from a ray which came in at the window and dimly lighted up the room. Flies were buzzing behind the black curtain at the window. “It’s early,” thought the princess, and she closed her eyes.
In the morning, she woke up and looked at her watch. It was half-past nine. On the carpet by the bed was a bright, narrow streak of sunlight from a ray that came in through the window, dimly lighting up the room. Flies were buzzing behind the black curtain at the window. “It’s early,” thought the princess, and she closed her eyes.
Stretching and lying snug in her bed, she recalled her meeting yesterday with the doctor and all the thoughts with which she had gone to sleep the night before: she remembered she was unhappy. Then she thought of her husband living in Petersburg, her stewards, doctors, neighbours, the officials of her acquaintance . . . a long procession of familiar masculine faces passed before her imagination. She smiled and thought, if only these people could see into her heart and understand her, they would all be at her feet.
Stretching out and cozy in her bed, she remembered her appointment with the doctor yesterday and all the thoughts she had gone to sleep with the night before: she realized she was unhappy. Then she thought of her husband living in Petersburg, her stewards, doctors, neighbors, and the officials she knew... a long line of familiar male faces flashed through her mind. She smiled and thought, if only these people could look into her heart and truly understand her, they would all be at her feet.
At a quarter past eleven she called her maid.
At 11:15, she called her maid.
“Help me to dress, Dasha,” she said languidly. “But go first and tell them to get out the horses. I must set off for Klavdia Nikolaevna’s.”
“Help me get dressed, Dasha,” she said wearily. “But first, go and tell them to get the horses ready. I have to leave for Klavdia Nikolaevna’s.”
Going out to get into the carriage, she blinked at the glaring daylight and laughed with pleasure: it was a wonderfully fine day! As she scanned from her half-closed eyes the monks who had gathered round the steps to see her off, she nodded graciously and said:
Going outside to get into the carriage, she squinted at the bright daylight and laughed with joy: it was an absolutely beautiful day! As she looked through her half-closed eyes at the monks gathered on the steps to see her off, she nodded politely and said:
“Good-bye, my friends! Till the day after tomorrow.”
“Goodbye, my friends! See you the day after tomorrow.”
It was an agreeable surprise to her that the doctor was with the monks by the steps. His face was pale and severe.
It was a pleasant surprise for her that the doctor was with the monks by the steps. His face was pale and serious.
“Princess,” he said with a guilty smile, taking off his hat, “I’ve been waiting here a long time to see you. Forgive me, for God’s sake. . . . I was carried away yesterday by an evil, vindictive feeling and I talked . . . nonsense. In short, I beg your pardon.”
“Princess,” he said with an embarrassed grin, taking off his hat, “I’ve been here a while waiting to see you. Please forgive me. I got caught up yesterday in a terrible, spiteful mood and said… silly things. In short, I’m really sorry.”
The princess smiled graciously, and held out her hand for him to kiss. He kissed it, turning red.
The princess smiled warmly and extended her hand for him to kiss. He kissed it, blushing.
Trying to look like a bird, the princess fluttered into the carriage and nodded in all directions. There was a gay, warm, serene feeling in her heart, and she felt herself that her smile was particularly soft and friendly. As the carriage rolled towards the gates, and afterwards along the dusty road past huts and gardens, past long trains of waggons and strings of pilgrims on their way to the monastery, she still screwed up her eyes and smiled softly. She was thinking there was no higher bliss than to bring warmth, light, and joy wherever one went, to forgive injuries, to smile graciously on one’s enemies. The peasants she passed bowed to her, the carriage rustled softly, clouds of dust rose from under the wheels and floated over the golden rye, and it seemed to the princess that her body was swaying not on carriage cushions but on clouds, and that she herself was like a light, transparent little cloud. . . .
Trying to look like a bird, the princess fluttered into the carriage and nodded in all directions. She felt a cheerful, warm, peaceful sensation in her heart, and she sensed that her smile was especially soft and friendly. As the carriage rolled toward the gates, and then along the dusty road past huts and gardens, along long lines of wagons and groups of pilgrims heading to the monastery, she continued to squint and smile gently. She thought there was no greater happiness than to bring warmth, light, and joy wherever she went, to forgive wrongs, and to smile graciously at her enemies. The peasants she passed bowed to her, the carriage rustled softly, clouds of dust rose from under the wheels and floated over the golden rye, and it felt to the princess as if her body was swaying not on carriage cushions but on clouds, and that she herself was like a light, transparent little cloud...
“How happy I am!” she murmured, shutting her eyes. “How happy I am!”
“How happy I am!” she whispered, closing her eyes. “How happy I am!”
THE CHEMIST’S WIFE
THE little town of B——, consisting of two or three crooked streets, was sound asleep. There was a complete stillness in the motionless air. Nothing could be heard but far away, outside the town no doubt, the barking of a dog in a thin, hoarse tenor. It was close upon daybreak.
The small town of B——, with its two or three winding streets, was fast asleep. The air was perfectly still. The only sound was the distant barking of a dog in a faint, raspy tone, likely coming from outside the town. Daybreak was just around the corner.
Everything had long been asleep. The only person not asleep was the young wife of Tchernomordik, a qualified dispenser who kept a chemist’s shop at B——. She had gone to bed and got up again three times, but could not sleep, she did not know why. She sat at the open window in her nightdress and looked into the street. She felt bored, depressed, vexed . . . so vexed that she felt quite inclined to cry—again she did not know why. There seemed to be a lump in her chest that kept rising into her throat. . . . A few paces behind her Tchernomordik lay curled up close to the wall, snoring sweetly. A greedy flea was stabbing the bridge of his nose, but he did not feel it, and was positively smiling, for he was dreaming that every one in the town had a cough, and was buying from him the King of Denmark’s cough-drops. He could not have been wakened now by pinpricks or by cannon or by caresses.
Everything had long been asleep. The only person awake was the young wife of Tchernomordik, a licensed pharmacist who ran a chemist's shop in B——. She had gone to bed and gotten up three times, but couldn’t sleep, and she didn’t know why. She sat at the open window in her nightgown, looking out into the street. She felt bored, down, and irritated... so irritated that she was about to cry—again, she didn’t know why. There seemed to be a lump in her chest that kept rising into her throat... A few steps behind her, Tchernomordik lay curled up against the wall, snoring peacefully. A hungry flea was biting the bridge of his nose, but he didn’t feel it and was actually smiling, as he was dreaming that everyone in town had a cough and was buying the King of Denmark’s cough drops from him. He couldn’t have been woken now by pinpricks, cannon fire, or gentle touches.
The chemist’s shop was almost at the extreme end of the town, so that the chemist’s wife could see far into the fields. She could see the eastern horizon growing pale by degrees, then turning crimson as though from a great fire. A big broad-faced moon peeped out unexpectedly from behind bushes in the distance. It was red (as a rule when the moon emerges from behind bushes it appears to be blushing).
The pharmacy was nearly on the outskirts of town, allowing the pharmacist's wife to see far into the fields. She watched as the eastern horizon gradually lightened, then turned crimson as if lit by a great fire. A large, round moon suddenly appeared from behind some distant bushes. It was red (usually, when the moon comes out from behind bushes, it looks like it's blushing).
Suddenly in the stillness of the night there came the sounds of footsteps and a jingle of spurs. She could hear voices.
Suddenly, in the quiet of the night, footsteps echoed and spurs jingled. She could hear voices.
“That must be the officers going home to the camp from the Police Captain’s,” thought the chemist’s wife.
“Those must be the officers heading back to the camp from the Police Captain’s,” the chemist’s wife thought.
Soon afterwards two figures wearing officers’ white tunics came into sight: one big and tall, the other thinner and shorter. . . . They slouched along by the fence, dragging one leg after the other and talking loudly together. As they passed the chemist’s shop, they walked more slowly than ever, and glanced up at the windows.
Soon after, two figures in white officer uniforms appeared: one was big and tall, while the other was thinner and shorter. They slouched by the fence, dragging one leg after the other and chatting loudly. As they walked past the pharmacy, they moved even slower and looked up at the windows.
“It smells like a chemist’s,” said the thin one. “And so it is! Ah, I remember. . . . I came here last week to buy some castor-oil. There’s a chemist here with a sour face and the jawbone of an ass! Such a jawbone, my dear fellow! It must have been a jawbone like that Samson killed the Philistines with.”
“It smells like a drugstore,” said the thin one. “And it definitely is! Ah, I remember… I came here last week to buy some castor oil. There’s a pharmacist here with a sour face and a jaw like an ass! What a jaw, my friend! It must have been the kind of jaw that Samson used to take down the Philistines.”
“M’yes,” said the big one in a bass voice. “The pharmacist is asleep. And his wife is asleep too. She is a pretty woman, Obtyosov.”
“M’yes,” said the big one in a deep voice. “The pharmacist is asleep. And his wife is asleep too. She’s a pretty woman, Obtyosov.”
“I saw her. I liked her very much. . . . Tell me, doctor, can she possibly love that jawbone of an ass? Can she?”
“I saw her. I liked her a lot. . . . Tell me, doctor, could she really love that jerk?”
“No, most likely she does not love him,” sighed the doctor, speaking as though he were sorry for the chemist. “The little woman is asleep behind the window, Obtyosov, what? Tossing with the heat, her little mouth half open . . . and one little foot hanging out of bed. I bet that fool the chemist doesn’t realise what a lucky fellow he is. . . . No doubt he sees no difference between a woman and a bottle of carbolic!”
“No, she probably doesn’t love him,” the doctor sighed, sounding a bit sorry for the chemist. “The little woman is asleep by the window, Obtyosov, right? Tossing in the heat, her mouth half open... and one little foot hanging out of bed. I bet that fool, the chemist, doesn’t even realize what a lucky guy he is... No doubt he sees no difference between a woman and a bottle of carbolic!”
“I say, doctor,” said the officer, stopping. “Let us go into the shop and buy something. Perhaps we shall see her.”
“I say, doctor,” said the officer, stopping. “Let’s go into the shop and buy something. Maybe we’ll see her.”
“What an idea—in the night!”
"What a great idea at night!"
“What of it? They are obliged to serve one even at night. My dear fellow, let us go in!”
“What about it? They have to serve us, even at night. My dear friend, let’s go inside!”
“If you like. . . .”
“If you want. . . .”
The chemist’s wife, hiding behind the curtain, heard a muffled ring. Looking round at her husband, who was smiling and snoring sweetly as before, she threw on her dress, slid her bare feet into her slippers, and ran to the shop.
The chemist's wife, hiding behind the curtain, heard a muffled ring. Looking at her husband, who was smiling and snoring peacefully as before, she put on her dress, slipped her bare feet into her slippers, and rushed to the shop.
On the other side of the glass door she could see two shadows. The chemist’s wife turned up the lamp and hurried to the door to open it, and now she felt neither vexed nor bored nor inclined to cry, though her heart was thumping. The big doctor and the slender Obtyosov walked in. Now she could get a view of them. The doctor was corpulent and swarthy; he wore a beard and was slow in his movements. At the slightest motion his tunic seemed as though it would crack, and perspiration came on to his face. The officer was rosy, clean-shaven, feminine-looking, and as supple as an English whip.
On the other side of the glass door, she could see two shadows. The chemist’s wife turned up the lamp and rushed to the door to open it, and now she felt neither annoyed nor bored nor ready to cry, even though her heart was pounding. The big doctor and the slim Obtyosov walked in. Now she could see them clearly. The doctor was heavyset and dark-skinned; he had a beard and moved slowly. With the slightest motion, his tunic looked like it might burst, and sweat appeared on his face. The officer was rosy-cheeked, clean-shaven, had a feminine look, and was as flexible as an English whip.
“What may I give you?” asked the chemist’s wife, holding her dress across her bosom.
“What can I get you?” asked the chemist’s wife, holding her dress across her chest.
“Give us . . . er-er . . . four pennyworth of peppermint lozenges!”
“Give us... um... four pence worth of peppermint lozenges!”
Without haste the chemist’s wife took down a jar from a shelf and began weighing out lozenges. The customers stared fixedly at her back; the doctor screwed up his eyes like a well-fed cat, while the lieutenant was very grave.
Without rushing, the chemist’s wife took a jar down from a shelf and started weighing out lozenges. The customers stared intently at her back; the doctor squinted like a well-fed cat, while the lieutenant looked very serious.
“It’s the first time I’ve seen a lady serving in a chemist’s shop,” observed the doctor.
“It’s the first time I’ve seen a woman working in a pharmacy,” the doctor noted.
“There’s nothing out of the way in it,” replied the chemist’s wife, looking out of the corner of her eye at the rosy-cheeked officer. “My husband has no assistant, and I always help him.”
“There's nothing unusual about it,” replied the chemist's wife, glancing at the rosy-cheeked officer out of the corner of her eye. “My husband doesn’t have an assistant, and I always help him.”
“To be sure. . . . You have a charming little shop! What a number of different . . . jars! And you are not afraid of moving about among the poisons? Brrr!”
“Absolutely. . . . You have a lovely little shop! So many different . . . jars! And you’re not scared of being around the poisons? Brrr!”
The chemist’s wife sealed up the parcel and handed it to the doctor. Obtyosov gave her the money. Half a minute of silence followed. . . . The men exchanged glances, took a step towards the door, then looked at one another again.
The chemist’s wife sealed the package and handed it to the doctor. Obtyosov gave her the money. A moment of silence followed... The men exchanged glances, stepped toward the door, then looked at each other again.
“Will you give me two pennyworth of soda?” said the doctor.
“Will you give me two cents worth of soda?” said the doctor.
Again the chemist’s wife slowly and languidly raised her hand to the shelf.
Again, the chemist's wife slowly and lazily raised her hand to the shelf.
“Haven’t you in the shop anything . . . such as . . .” muttered Obtyosov, moving his fingers, “something, so to say, allegorical . . . revivifying . . . seltzer-water, for instance. Have you any seltzer-water?”
“Haven’t you got anything in the shop . . . like . . .” murmured Obtyosov, moving his fingers, “something, let’s say, metaphorical . . . refreshing . . . seltzer water, for example. Do you have any seltzer water?”
“Yes,” answered the chemist’s wife.
"Yes," replied the chemist's wife.
“Bravo! You’re a fairy, not a woman! Give us three bottles!”
“Awesome! You’re a fairy, not just a woman! Get us three bottles!”
The chemist’s wife hurriedly sealed up the soda and vanished through the door into the darkness.
The chemist's wife quickly sealed up the soda and disappeared through the door into the darkness.
“A peach!” said the doctor, with a wink. “You wouldn’t find a pineapple like that in the island of Madeira! Eh? What do you say? Do you hear the snoring, though? That’s his worship the chemist enjoying sweet repose.”
“A peach!” said the doctor with a wink. “You wouldn’t find a pineapple like that on the island of Madeira! Right? What do you think? Do you hear the snoring, though? That’s the chemist enjoying some well-deserved rest.”
A minute later the chemist’s wife came back and set five bottles on the counter. She had just been in the cellar, and so was flushed and rather excited.
A minute later, the chemist's wife returned and placed five bottles on the counter. She had just come from the cellar, so she looked flushed and a bit excited.
“Sh-sh! . . . quietly!” said Obtyosov when, after uncorking the bottles, she dropped the corkscrew. “Don’t make such a noise; you’ll wake your husband.”
“Sh-sh! . . . quietly!” said Obtyosov when, after uncorking the bottles, she dropped the corkscrew. “Don’t be so noisy; you’ll wake your husband.”
“Well, what if I do wake him?”
“Well, what if I do wake him?”
“He is sleeping so sweetly . . . he must be dreaming of you. . . . To your health!”
“He’s sleeping so peacefully... he’s probably dreaming about you... Here’s to your health!”
“Besides,” boomed the doctor, hiccupping after the seltzer-water, “husbands are such a dull business that it would be very nice of them to be always asleep. How good a drop of red wine would be in this water!”
“Besides,” the doctor said loudly, hiccuping after the seltzer water, “husbands are such a boring affair that it would be really nice if they were always asleep. How great a splash of red wine would be in this water!”
“What an idea!” laughed the chemist’s wife.
“What an idea!” laughed the chemist's wife.
“That would be splendid. What a pity they don’t sell spirits in chemist’s shops! Though you ought to sell wine as a medicine. Have you any vinum gallicum rubrum?”
“That would be great. What a shame they don’t sell liquor in pharmacies! Although, you should sell wine as a medicine. Do you have any vinum gallicum rubrum?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“Well, then, give us some! Bring it here, damn it!”
“Well, then, give us some! Bring it here, damn it!”
“How much do you want?”
“How much do you need?”
“Quantum satis. . . . Give us an ounce each in the water, and afterwards we’ll see. . . . Obtyosov, what do you say? First with water and afterwards per se. . . .”
“Quantum satis. . . . Let’s each add an ounce to the water, and then we’ll figure it out. . . . Obtyosov, what do you think? First with the water and then per se. . . .”
The doctor and Obtyosov sat down to the counter, took off their caps, and began drinking the wine.
The doctor and Obtyosov sat at the counter, took off their hats, and started drinking the wine.
“The wine, one must admit, is wretched stuff! Vinum nastissimum! Though in the presence of . . . er . . . it tastes like nectar. You are enchanting, madam! In imagination I kiss your hand.”
“The wine, I have to say, is terrible! Vinum nastissimum! Though in the presence of . . . um . . . it tastes like nectar. You are captivating, madam! In my imagination, I kiss your hand.”
“I would give a great deal to do so not in imagination,” said Obtyosov. “On my honour, I’d give my life.”
“I would give a lot to do that for real,” said Obtyosov. “I swear, I’d give my life.”
“That’s enough,” said Madame Tchernomordik, flushing and assuming a serious expression.
“That's enough,” said Madame Tchernomordik, her face flushing as she took on a serious expression.
“What a flirt you are, though!” the doctor laughed softly, looking slyly at her from under his brows. “Your eyes seem to be firing shot: piff-paff! I congratulate you: you’ve conquered! We are vanquished!”
“What a flirt you are!” the doctor laughed softly, glancing at her playfully from beneath his brows. “Your eyes are like they’re shooting arrows: piff-paff! Congratulations, you've won! We surrender!”
The chemist’s wife looked at their ruddy faces, listened to their chatter, and soon she, too, grew quite lively. Oh, she felt so gay! She entered into the conversation, she laughed, flirted, and even, after repeated requests from the customers, drank two ounces of wine.
The chemist’s wife looked at their rosy faces, listened to their chatter, and soon, she felt lively too. Oh, she felt so happy! She joined in the conversation, laughed, flirted, and even, after several requests from the customers, drank two ounces of wine.
“You officers ought to come in oftener from the camp,” she said; “it’s awful how dreary it is here. I’m simply dying of it.”
“You officers should come in more often from the camp,” she said; “it’s really dull here. I’m completely fed up with it.”
“I should think so!” said the doctor indignantly. “Such a peach, a miracle of nature, thrown away in the wilds! How well Griboyedov said, ‘Into the wilds, to Saratov’! It’s time for us to be off, though. Delighted to have made your acquaintance . . . very. How much do we owe you?”
“I would think so!” the doctor said angrily. “Such a gem, a miracle of nature, just wasted in the wilderness! How well Griboyedov said, ‘Into the wilds, to Saratov’! But we should get going now. It was a pleasure meeting you . . . really. How much do we owe you?”
The chemist’s wife raised her eyes to the ceiling and her lips moved for some time.
The chemist's wife looked up at the ceiling and her lips moved for a while.
“Twelve roubles forty-eight kopecks,” she said.
“Twelve rubles and forty-eight kopecks,” she said.
Obtyosov took out of his pocket a fat pocket-book, and after fumbling for some time among the notes, paid.
Obtyosov pulled a thick wallet out of his pocket and, after searching through the bills for a while, made the payment.
“Your husband’s sleeping sweetly . . . he must be dreaming,” he muttered, pressing her hand at parting.
“Your husband’s sleeping peacefully . . . he must be having sweet dreams,” he murmured, pressing her hand as he said goodbye.
“I don’t like to hear silly remarks. . . .”
“I don’t like to hear dumb comments. . . .”
“What silly remarks? On the contrary, it’s not silly at all . . . even Shakespeare said: ‘Happy is he who in his youth is young.’”
“What silly comments? Actually, it’s not silly at all . . . even Shakespeare said: ‘Happy is he who in his youth is young.’”
“Let go of my hand.”
"Release my hand."
At last after much talk and after kissing the lady’s hand at parting, the customers went out of the shop irresolutely, as though they were wondering whether they had not forgotten something.
At last, after a lot of conversation and after kissing the lady's hand when leaving, the customers exited the shop hesitantly, as if they were questioning whether they had forgotten something.
She ran quickly into the bedroom and sat down in the same place. She saw the doctor and the officer, on coming out of the shop, walk lazily away a distance of twenty paces; then they stopped and began whispering together. What about? Her heart throbbed, there was a pulsing in her temples, and why she did not know. . . . Her heart beat violently as though those two whispering outside were deciding her fate.
She hurried into the bedroom and sat down in the same spot. She watched the doctor and the officer come out of the shop and walk away slowly about twenty steps; then they stopped and started whispering to each other. What were they talking about? Her heart raced, and she felt a pulse in her temples, though she didn't know why. Her heart pounded as if those two whispering outside were making decisions about her future.
Five minutes later the doctor parted from Obtyosov and walked on, while Obtyosov came back. He walked past the shop once and a second time. . . . He would stop near the door and then take a few steps again. At last the bell tinkled discreetly.
Five minutes later, the doctor said goodbye to Obtyosov and walked away, while Obtyosov turned back. He walked past the shop once and then again. . . . He would pause near the door and then take a few more steps. Finally, the bell rang softly.
“What? Who is there?” the chemist’s wife heard her husband’s voice suddenly. “There’s a ring at the bell, and you don’t hear it,” he said severely. “Is that the way to do things?”
“What? Who's there?” the chemist’s wife suddenly heard her husband’s voice. “The doorbell is ringing, and you don’t hear it,” he said sternly. “Is that how you handle things?”
He got up, put on his dressing-gown, and staggering, half asleep, flopped in his slippers to the shop.
He got up, put on his robe, and, stumbling and half-asleep, shuffled in his slippers to the shop.
“What . . . is it?” he asked Obtyosov.
“What is it?” he asked Obtyosov.
“Give me . . . give me four pennyworth of peppermint lozenges.”
“Give me... give me four pence worth of peppermint lozenges.”
Sniffing continually, yawning, dropping asleep as he moved, and knocking his knees against the counter, the chemist went to the shelf and reached down the jar.
Sniffling constantly, yawning, dozing off while he moved, and bumping his knees against the counter, the chemist went to the shelf and grabbed the jar.
Two minutes later the chemist’s wife saw Obtyosov go out of the shop, and, after he had gone some steps, she saw him throw the packet of peppermints on the dusty road. The doctor came from behind a corner to meet him. . . . They met and, gesticulating, vanished in the morning mist.
Two minutes later, the chemist’s wife saw Obtyosov leave the shop, and after he had walked a short distance, she saw him toss the packet of peppermints onto the dusty road. The doctor came around the corner to meet him... They met and, gesturing, disappeared into the morning mist.
“How unhappy I am!” said the chemist’s wife, looking angrily at her husband, who was undressing quickly to get into bed again. “Oh, how unhappy I am!” she repeated, suddenly melting into bitter tears. “And nobody knows, nobody knows. . . .”
“I'm so unhappy!” said the chemist’s wife, glaring at her husband, who was hastily getting undressed to climb back into bed. “Oh, I’m so unhappy!” she repeated, suddenly bursting into bitter tears. “And nobody knows, nobody knows...”
“I forgot fourpence on the counter,” muttered the chemist, pulling the quilt over him. “Put it away in the till, please. . . .”
“I forgot four pence on the counter,” muttered the chemist, pulling the quilt over him. “Put it away in the cash register, please. . . .”
And at once he fell asleep again.
And he immediately fell asleep again.
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