
There was a young person of Bantry,
Who frequently slept in the pantry;
When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,
That judicious young person of Bantry.

There was a young person from Bantry,
Who often napped in the pantry;
When the mice got too loud, she calmed them down proud,
That wise young person from Bantry.

There was an Old Man at a Junction,
Whose feelings were wrung with compunction
When they said, "The Train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How forlorn!"
But remained on the rails of the Junction.

There was an old man at a junction,
Whose feelings were filled with regret.
When they said, "The train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How sad!"
But he stayed on the tracks at the junction.

There was an old person of Minety,
Who purchased five hundred and ninety
Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares
At the heads of the people of Minety.

There was an old guy from Minety,
Who bought five hundred and ninety
Big apples and pears, which he tossed unexpectedly
At the heads of the folks in Minety.

There was an old man of Thermopylae,
Who never did anything properly;
But they said, "If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,
You shall never remain in Thermopylae."

There was an old man from Thermopylae,
Who never did anything right;
But they said, "If you decide to boil eggs in your shoes,
You won't be staying in Thermopylae."

There was an old person of Deal,
Who in walking used only his heel;
When they said, "Tell us why?" he made no reply,
That mysterious old person of Deal.

There was an old man from Deal,
Who would only walk on his heel;
When they asked, "Why's that?" he didn't respond,
That mysterious old man from Deal.

There was an old man on the Humber,
Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;
When he said, "It's enough!" they only said, "Stuff!
You amazing old man on the Humber!"

There was an old man on the Humber,
Who had a cake made of Burnt Umber;
When he said, "That's enough!" they just said, "Oh, come on!
You incredible old man on the Humber!"

There was an old man in a barge,
Whose nose was exceedingly large;
But in fishing by night, it supported a light,
Which helped that old man in a barge.

There was an old man in a barge,
Whose nose was really big;
But while fishing at night, it served as a light,
Which helped that old man in a barge.

There was an old man of Dunrose;
A parrot seized hold of his nose.
When he grew melancholy, they said, "His name's Polly,"
Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.

There was an old man from Dunrose;
A parrot grabbed onto his nose.
When he felt down, they said, "His name's Polly,"
Which cheered up that old man from Dunrose.

There was an old man of Toulouse
Who purchased a new pair of shoes;
When they asked, "Are they pleasant?" he said, "Not at present!"
That turbid old man of Toulouse.

There was an old guy from Toulouse
Who bought himself a new pair of shoes;
When they asked, "Are they nice?" he said, "Not right now!"
That grumpy old guy from Toulouse.

There was an old person of Bree,
Who frequented the depths of the sea;
She nurs'd the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,
And swam back again into Bree.

There was an old person from Bree,
Who often visited the sea;
She cared for the little fish, and cleaned all the dishes,
And swam back home to Bree.

There was an old person of Bromley,
Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;
He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,
That unpleasing old person of Bromley.

There was an old person from Bromley,
Whose manner wasn't cheerful or friendly;
He sat in the dirt, eating spiders and dessert,
That unpleasant old person from Bromley.

There was an old person of Shields,
Who frequented the vallies and fields;
All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,
Followed after that person of Shields.

There was an old person from Shields,
Who often visited the valleys and fields;
All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,
Followed that person from Shields.

There was an old man of Dunluce,
Who went out to sea on a goose:
When he'd gone out a mile, he observ'd with a smile,
"It is time to return to Dunluce."

There was an old man from Dunluce,
Who set out to sea on a goose:
When he had gone a mile, he noticed with a smile,
"It’s time to head back to Dunluce."

There was an old man of Dee-side
Whose hat was exceedingly wide,
But he said, "Do not fail, if it happen to hail,
To come under my hat at Dee-side!"

There was an old man from Dee-side
Whose hat was super wide,
But he said, "Don't forget, if it starts to hail,
Make sure to get under my hat at Dee-side!"

There was an old person in black,
A Grasshopper jumped on his back;
When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,
That helpless old person in black.

There was an old person in black,
A grasshopper jumped on his back;
When it chirped in his ear, he was filled with fear,
That helpless old person in black.

There was an old man of the Dargle
Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;
For he said, "I'll sit still, and will roll them down hill,
For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."

There was an old man from the Dargle
Who bought six barrels of Gargle;
For he said, "I’ll just sit here and roll them down the hill,
For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."

There was an old person of Pinner,
As thin as a lath, if not thinner;
They dressed him in white, and roll'd him up tight,
That elastic old person of Pinner.

There was an old person from Pinner,
As thin as a stick, if not thinner;
They dressed him in white, and rolled him up tight,
That flexible old person from Pinner.

There was an old person of China,
Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,
Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,
And all of them settled in China.

There was an old person from China,
Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,
Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,
And they all lived in China.

There was an old man in a Marsh,
Whose manners were futile and harsh;
He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,
That instructive old man in a Marsh.

There was an old man in a marsh,
Whose manners were pointless and mean;
He sat on a log and sang songs to a frog,
That wise old man in a marsh.

There was an old person of Brill,
Who purchased a shirt with a frill;
But they said, "Don't you wish, you mayn't look like a fish,
You obsequious old person of Brill?"

There was an old person from Brill,
Who bought a shirt with a frill;
But they said, "Don't you wish, you might look like a fish,
You sycophantic old person from Brill?"

There was an old person of Wick,
Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;
Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he said nothing more,
That laconic old person of Wick.

There was an old guy from Wick,
Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;
Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he didn’t say anything else,
That quiet old guy from Wick.

There was an old man at a Station,
Who made a promiscuous oration;
But they said, "Take some snuff!—You have talk'd quite enough,
You afflicting old man at a Station!"

There was an old man at a station,
Who gave a confusing speech;
But they said, "Have some snuff!—You've talked enough,
You troubling old man at a station!"

There was an old man of Three Bridges,
Whose mind was distracted by midges,
He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,
Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.

There was an old man from Three Bridges,
Whose mind was troubled by gnats,
He sat on a wheel, eating raw veal,
Which helped that old man from Three Bridges.

There was an old man of Hong Kong,
Who never did anything wrong;
He lay on his back, with his head in a sack,
That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.

There was an old guy from Hong Kong,
Who never did anything wrong;
He relaxed on his back, with his head in a sack,
That harmless old guy from Hong Kong.

There was a young person in green,
Who seldom was fit to be seen;
She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all,
Which enveloped that person in green.

There was a young person dressed in green,
Who was rarely presentable; it seemed;
She wore a long shawl, over hat and all,
Which wrapped that person in green.

There was an old person of Fife,
Who was greatly disgusted with life;
They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,
Which cured that old person of Fife.

There was an old person from Fife,
Who was really frustrated with life;
They sang him a song, and served him some salad,
Which fixed that old person from Fife.

There was an old man who screamed out
Whenever they knocked him about:
So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,
And continued to knock him about.

There was an old man who yelled loud
Whenever they pushed him around:
So they took off his boots, fed him some fruits,
And kept right on pushing him around.

There was a young lady in white,
Who looked out at the depths of the night;
But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,
And oppressed that young lady in white.

There was a young woman in white,
Who gazed out into the dark of night;
But the birds in the sky filled her heart with sorrow,
And weighed down that young woman in white.

There was an old person of Slough,
Who danced at the end of a bough;
But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,
You imprudent old person of Slough."

There was an old person from Slough,
Who danced at the end of a branch;
But they said, "If you sneeze, you might hurt the trees,
You reckless old person from Slough."

There was an old person of Down,
Whose face was adorned with a frown;
When he opened the door, for one minute or more,
He alarmed all the people of Down.

There was an old guy from Down,
Whose face had a permanent frown;
When he opened the door, for a minute or more,
He freaked out everyone in Down.

There was a young person in red,
Who carefully covered her head,
With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather,
Besides some long ribands of red.

There was a young person in red,
Who carefully covered her head,
With a leather bonnet, and three lines of feathers,
Along with some long red ribbons.

There was an old person of Hove,
Who frequented the depths of a grove;
Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,
That tranquil old person of Hove.

There was an elderly man from Hove,
Who often visited the depths of a grove;
Where he read his books, with the wrens and the rooks,
That peaceful old man from Hove.

There was a young person in pink,
Who called out for something to drink;
But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water!"
Which vexed that young person in pink.

There was a young person in pink,
Who asked for something to drink;
But they said, "Oh my daughter, there’s only water!"
Which annoyed that young person in pink.

There was an old lady of France,
Who taught little ducklings to dance;
When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they only said, "Quack!"
Which grieved that old lady of France.

There was an old woman from France,
Who taught little ducklings to dance;
When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they just said, "Quack!"
Which made that old woman from France sad.

There was an old person of Putney,
Whose food was roast spiders and chutney,
Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea,
That romantic old person of Putney.

There was an old person from Putney,
Whose meals were roast spiders and chutney,
Which he enjoyed with his tea, overlooking the sea,
That whimsical old person from Putney.

There was an old person of Loo,
Who said, "What on earth shall I do?"
When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay,
That vexatious old person of Loo.

There was an elderly person from Loo,
Who said, "What in the world should I do?"
When they said, "Just leave!" she chose to believe,
That annoying old person from Loo.

There was an old person of Woking,
Whose mind was perverse and provoking;
He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail,
That illusive old person of Woking.

There was an old guy from Woking,
Whose thoughts were twisted and annoying;
He sat on a rail, with his head in a pail,
That tricky old guy from Woking.

There was an old person of Dean
Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"
That cautious old person of Dean.

There was an old person from Dean
Who ate just one pea and one bean;
He said, "Anything more would make me too fat,"
That careful old person from Dean.

There was a young lady in blue,
Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?"
When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!"
That ungracious young lady in blue.

There was a young woman in blue,
Who asked, "Is it you? Is it you?"
When they answered, "Yes, it is," she just said, "Whizz!"
That rude young woman in blue.

There was an old Man in a Garden,
Who always begged every one's pardon;
When they asked him, "What for?" he replied, "You're a bore!
And I trust you'll go out of my garden."

There was an old man in a garden,
Who always apologized to everyone;
When they asked him, "Why?" he replied, "You're a drag!
And I hope you'll leave my garden."

There was an old person of Pisa,
Whose daughters did nothing to please her;
She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day,
Round the walls of the city of Pisa.

There was an elderly woman from Pisa,
Whose daughters never did anything that made her happy;
She dressed them in gray and scolded them all day,
Around the walls of the city of Pisa.

There was an old person of Florence,
Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,
Which choked that old person of Florence.

There was an old guy from Florence,
Who absolutely hated mutton chops;
He bought a Bustard and cooked it in Mustard,
Which ended up choking that old guy from Florence.

There was an old person of Sheen,
Whose expression was calm and serene;
He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,
That placid old person of Sheen.

There was an old guy from Sheen,
Who always looked calm and serene;
He sat in the water, drinking bottled beer,
That easygoing old guy from Sheen.

There was an old person of Ware,
Who rode on the back of a bear;
When they ask'd, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!
He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"

There was an old person from Ware,
Who rode on the back of a bear;
When they asked, "Does it trot?" he'd say, "Of course not!
He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"

There was a young person of Janina,
Whose uncle was always a fanning her;
When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said,
"You propitious old person of Janina!"

There was a young person from Janina,
Whose uncle was always fanning her;
When he fanned her head, she smiled sweetly and said,
"You fortunate old person from Janina!"

There was an old man of Cashmere,
Whose movements were scroobious and queer;
Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,
And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.

There was an old man from Cashmere,
Whose actions were strange and unclear;
Being tall and thin, he looked over the rim,
And spotted two plump ducks from Cashmere.

There was an old person of Cassel,
Whose nose finished off in a tassel;
But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell!"
Which perplexed that old person of Cassel.

There was an old person from Cassel,
Whose nose ended in a tassel;
But they called out, "Oh well! Doesn’t it look like a bell!"
Which confused that old person from Cassel.

There was an old person of Pett,
Who was partly consumed by regret;
He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,
Which relieved that old person of Pett.

There was an old person from Pett,
Who felt a lot of regret;
He sat in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,
Which helped that old person from Pett.

There was an old man of Spithead,
Who opened the window, and said,—
"Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"
That doubtful old man of Spithead.

There was an old man from Spithead,
Who opened the window and said,—
"Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"
That uncertain old man from Spithead.

There was an old man on the Border,
Who lived in the utmost disorder;
He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,
Which vexed all the folks on the Border.

There was an old man on the Border,
Who lived in total chaos;
He danced with the cat and brewed tea in his hat,
Which annoyed everyone in the area.

There was an old man of Dumbree,
Who taught little owls to drink tea;
For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"
That amiable man of Dumbree.

There was an old man from Dumbree,
Who taught little owls to drink tea;
He said, "Eating mice is neither proper nor nice,"
That friendly man from Dumbree.

There was an old person of Filey,
Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,
And delighted the people of Filey.

There was an elderly man from Filey,
Whom his friends praised greatly;
He danced just right, to the sound of a bell,
And brought joy to the people of Filey.
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There was an old man whose remorse
Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;
For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,
It will certainly soothe your remorse!"

There was an old man who, feeling sorry for himself,
Started drinking Caper Sauce;
Because they said, "If you mix it with some cold claret-cup,
It will definitely ease your guilt!"

There was an old man of Ibreem,
Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;
But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue,
You disgusting old man of Ibreem!"

There was an old man from Ibreem,
Who suddenly threatened to scream;
But they said, "If you do, we’ll beat you black and blue,
You gross old man from Ibreem!"

There was an old person of Wilts,
Who constantly walked upon stilts;
He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,
That elegant person of Wilts.

There was an elderly guy from Wilts,
Who always walked around on stilts;
He decorated them with lilies and daffodils,
That classy person from Wilts.

There was an old person of Grange,
Whose manners were scroobious and strange;
He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,
That aquatic old person of Grange.

There was an old guy from Grange,
Whose behavior was weird and strange;
He traveled to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,
That quirky old guy from Grange.

There was an old person of Newry,
Whose manners were tinctured with fury;
He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,
Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.

There was an old guy from Newry,
Whose behavior was filled with rage;
He ripped up all the rugs and smashed all the jugs,
Within a twenty-mile radius of Newry.

There was an old man of Dumblane,
Who greatly resembled a crane;
But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"

There was an old man from Dumblane,
Who looked just like a crane;
But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
To ask you not to stick around Dumblane?"

There was an old man of Port Grigor,
Whose actions were noted for vigour;
He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,
That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.

There was an old man from Port Grigor,
Whose actions were known for their energy;
He stood on his head until his waistcoat turned red,
That quirky old man from Port Grigor.

There was an old man of El Hums,
Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.

There was an old man from El Hums,
Who lived on nothing but crumbs,
Which he picked up from the ground, with the other birds around,
In the streets and alleys of El Hums.

There was an old man of West Dumpet,
Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,
And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.

There was an old man from West Dumpet,
Who had a big nose like a trumpet;
When he blew it loud, it amazed the crowd,
And everyone in West Dumpet could hear it.

There was an old person of Sark,
Who made an unpleasant remark;
But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be,
You obnoxious old person of Sark!"

There was an old person from Sark,
Who made a rude comment;
But they said, "Can't you see how horrible you are,
You annoying old person from Sark!"

There was an old man whose despair
Induced him to purchase a hare:
Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away,
Which partly assuaged his despair.

There was an old man whose sadness
Led him to buy a hare:
And one nice day he rode off completely,
Which helped to ease his sadness a bit.

There was an old person of Barnes,
Whose garments were covered with darns;
But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out,
You luminous person of Barnes!"

There was an old person from Barnes,
Whose clothes were full of patches;
But they said, "No doubt, you'll wear them out soon,
You bright person from Barnes!"

There was an old person of Nice,
Whose associates were usually Geese.
They walked out together in all sorts of weather,
That affable person of Nice!

There was an old person from Nice,
Whose friends were usually geese.
They went out together in all kinds of weather,
That friendly person from Nice!

There was a young lady of Greenwich,
Whose garments were border'd with Spinach;
But a large spotty Calf bit her shawl quite in half,
Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.

There was a young woman from Greenwich,
Whose clothes were trimmed with spinach;
But a big spotted calf bit her shawl right in half,
Which startled that young woman from Greenwich.

There was an old person of Cannes,
Who purchased three fowls and a fan;
Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool
She constantly fanned them at Cannes.

There was an old person from Cannes,
Who bought three chickens and a fan;
She put them on a stool, and to keep them cool
She kept fanning them in Cannes.

There was an old person of Ickley,
Who could not abide to ride quickly;
He rode to Karnak on a tortoise's back,
That moony old person of Ickley.

There was an old guy from Ickley,
Who just couldn't stand to ride fast;
He traveled to Karnak on a tortoise's back,
That wacky old guy from Ickley.

There was an old person of Hyde,
Who walked by the shore with his bride,
Till a Crab who came near fill'd their bosoms with fear,
And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"

There was an old person from Hyde,
Who walked by the shore with his bride,
But a crab that came near made them both filled with fear,
And they said, "We wish we had never left Hyde!"

There was an old person in gray,
Whose feelings were tinged with dismay;
She purchased two parrots, and fed them with carrots,
Which pleased that old person in gray.

There was an elderly woman in gray,
Whose emotions were filled with dismay;
She bought two parrots and fed them carrots,
Which made that elderly woman in gray happy.

There was an old man of Ancona,
Who found a small dog with no owner,
Which he took up and down all the streets of the town,
That anxious old man of Ancona.

There was an old man from Ancona,
Who found a small dog with no owner,
He took it around all the streets in town,
That worried old man from Ancona.

There was an old person of Sestri,
Who sate himself down in the vestry;
When they said, "You are wrong!" he merely said "Bong!"
That repulsive old person of Sestri.

There was an old guy from Sestri,
Who sat himself down in the church room;
When they said, "You're mistaken!" he just replied "Bong!"
That annoying old guy from Sestri.

There was an old person of Blythe,
Who cut up his meat with a scythe;
When they said, "Well! I never!" he cried, "Scythes for ever!"
That lively old person of Blythe.

There was an old guy from Blythe,
Who chopped his meat with a scythe;
When they said, "No way! I can't believe it!" he shouted, "Scythes forever!"
That cheerful old guy from Blythe.

There was a young person of Ayr,
Whose head was remarkably square:
On the top, in fine weather, she wore a gold feather;
Which dazzled the people of Ayr.

There was a young person from Ayr,
Whose head was incredibly square:
On top, in nice weather, she wore a gold feather;
That dazzled the folks in Ayr.

There was an old person of Rimini,
Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!"
When they said, "Please be still!" she ran down a hill,
And was never more heard of at Rimini.

There was an elderly person from Rimini,
who exclaimed, "Wow! Oh my gosh! O Gimini!"
When they told her, "Please be quiet!" she sprinted down a hill,
and was never heard from again in Rimini.

There is a young lady, whose nose,
Continually prospers and grows;
When it grew out of sight, she exclaimed in a fright,
"Oh! Farewell to the end of my nose!"

There’s a young woman whose nose,
Just keeps getting bigger, I suppose;
When it grew out of sight, she cried in fright,
"Oh! Goodbye to the tip of my nose!"

There was an old person of Ealing,
Who was wholly devoid of good feeling;
He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig,
Which distressed all the people of Ealing.

There was an old person from Ealing,
Who completely lacked any good feeling;
He drove a small cart, with three owls and a pig,
Which annoyed everyone in Ealing.

There was an old man of Thames Ditton,
Who called out for something to sit on;
But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon that,
You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"

There was an old man from Thames Ditton,
Who asked for something to sit on;
But they brought him a hat and said, "Sit on that,
You rude old man from Thames Ditton!"

There was an old person of Bray,
Who sang through the whole of the day
To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs,
That valuable person of Bray.

There was an old guy from Bray,
Who sang all day long, come what may
To his ducks and his pigs, feeding them figs,
That special person from Bray.

There was a young person whose history
Was always considered a mystery;
She sate in a ditch, although no one knew which,
And composed a small treatise on history.

There was a young person whose story
Was always seen as a mystery;
She sat in a ditch, though no one knew where,
And wrote a brief piece on history.

There was an old person of Bow,
Whom nobody happened to know;
So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope
You will go back directly to Bow!"

There was an old guy from Bow,
Whom no one really knew;
So they handed him some soap and said coolly, "We hope
You head back straight to Bow!"

There was an old person of Rye,
Who went up to town on a fly;
But they said, "If you cough, you are safe to fall off!
You abstemious old person of Rye!"

There was an old person from Rye,
Who took a trip to town on a fly;
But they warned, "If you cough, you're bound to fall off!
You temperate old person from Rye!"

There was an old person of Crowle,
Who lived in the nest of an owl;
When they screamed in the nest, he screamed out with the rest,
That depressing old person of Crowle.

There was an old guy from Crowle,
Who lived in an owl's nest;
When they screamed in the nest, he screamed with the rest,
That sad old guy from Crowle.

There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,
Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see
On the floor of my room, sweep it up with the broom!"
That exhaustive old Lady of Winchelsea!

There was an old lady from Winchelsea,
Who said, "If you see a needle or pin
On the floor of my room, sweep it up with the broom!"
That thorough old lady from Winchelsea!

There was an old man in a tree,
Whose whiskers were lovely to see;
But the birds of the air pluck'd them perfectly bare,
To make themselves nests in that tree.

There was an old man in a tree,
Whose whiskers were lovely to see;
But the birds in the air pulled them all bare,
To make themselves nests in that tree.

There was a young lady of Corsica,
Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur;
Which she fed upon ham, and hot raspberry jam,
That expensive young lady of Corsica.

There was a young woman from Corsica,
Who bought a little cheeky brown pup;
She fed it ham and hot raspberry jam,
That fancy young woman from Corsica.

There was a young lady of Firle,
Whose hair was addicted to curl;
It curled up a tree, and all over the sea,
That expansive young lady of Firle.

There was a young woman from Firle,
Whose hair just loved to curl;
It curled up a tree, and all over the sea,
That lively young woman from Firle.

There was an old person of Stroud,
Who was horribly jammed in a crowd;
Some she slew with a kick, some she scrunched with a stick,
That impulsive old person of Stroud.

There was an elderly person from Stroud,
Who got totally crushed in a crowd;
Some she kicked, some she squished with a stick,
That wild old person from Stroud.

There was an old man of Boulak,
Who sate on a Crocodile's back;
But they said, "Towr'ds the night he may probably bite,
Which might vex you, old man of Boulak!"

There was an old man from Boulak,
Who sat on a crocodile's back;
But they said, "Toward night he might bite,
Which could annoy you, old man from Boulak!"

There was an old person of Skye,
Who waltz'd with a Bluebottle fly:
They buzz'd a sweet tune, to the light of the moon,
And entranced all the people of Skye.

There was an old person from Skye,
Who danced with a Bluebottle fly:
They buzzed a sweet tune, under the light of the moon,
And captivated everyone in Skye.

There was an old man of Blackheath,
Whose head was adorned with a wreath
Of lobsters and spice, pickled onions and mice,
That uncommon old man of Blackheath.

There was an old man from Blackheath,
Whose head was decorated with a wreath
Of lobsters and spice, pickled onions and mice,
That unusual old man from Blackheath.

There was an old man, who when little
Fell casually into a kettle;
But, growing too stout, he could never get out,
So he passed all his life in that kettle.

There was an old man who, when he was young,
Fell into a kettle by accident;
But as he got bigger, he couldn't get out,
So he spent his whole life in that kettle.

There was an old person of Dundalk,
Who tried to teach fishes to walk;
When they tumbled down dead, he grew weary, and said,
"I had better go back to Dundalk!"

There was an old guy from Dundalk,
Who tried to teach fish how to walk;
When they fell over dead, he got tired and said,
"I'd better head back to Dundalk!"

There was an old person of Shoreham,
Whose habits were marked by decorum;
He bought an Umbrella, and sate in the cellar,
Which pleased all the people of Shoreham.

There was an elderly person from Shoreham,
Whose behavior was very respectable;
He bought an umbrella and sat in the cellar,
Which made everyone in Shoreham happy.

There was an old person of Bar,
Who passed all her life in a jar,
Which she painted pea-green, to appear more serene,
That placid old person of Bar.

There was an old woman from Bar,
Who spent her whole life in a jar,
She painted it pea-green to look more serene,
That calm old woman from Bar.

There was a young person of Kew,
Whose virtues and vices were few;
But with blamable haste she devoured some hot paste,
Which destroyed that young person of Kew.

There was a young person from Kew,
Whose virtues and vices were few;
But in a reckless hurry, she ate some hot paste,
And that ended that young person from Kew.

There was an old person of Jodd,
Whose ways were perplexing and odd;
She purchased a whistle, and sate on a thistle,
And squeaked to the people of Jodd.

There was an elderly person from Jodd,
Whose behavior was confusing and strange;
She bought a whistle, sat on a thistle,
And squeaked to the people of Jodd.

There was an old person of Bude,
Whose deportment was vicious and crude;
He wore a large ruff of pale straw-colored stuff,
Which perplexed all the people of Bude.

There was an old guy from Bude,
Whose behavior was rude and crude;
He wore a big ruff made of light straw-colored fabric,
Which confused everyone in Bude.

There was an old person of Brigg,
Who purchased no end of a wig;
So that only his nose, and the end of his toes,
Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.

There was an old guy from Brigg,
Who bought a ridiculous wig;
So that only his nose, and the tips of his toes,
Could be seen when he strolled around Brigg.

There was an old man of Messina,
Whose daughter was named Opsibeena;
She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig,
To the perfect delight of Messina.

There was an old guy from Messina,
Whose daughter was called Opsibeena;
She wore a tiny wig and rode out on a pig,
To the absolute delight of Messina.
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