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13675 (Illustrated with small old Woodcuts)

GOODY TWO-SHOES

A FACSIMILE REPRODUCTION

OF THE

EDITION OF 1766

WITH AN INTRODUCTION

BY

CHARLES WELSH





GRIFFITH & FARRAN

Successors to Newbery & Harris
WEST CORNER OF ST PAUL'S CHURCHYARD, LONDON
1 8 8 1

[ii]
[iii]

INTRODUCTION.


In The London Chronicle for December 19--January 1, 1765--the following advertisement appeared:--

In The London Chronicle for December 19–January 1, 1765—the following advertisement appeared:—

"The Philosophers, Politicians, Necromancers, and the Learned in every Faculty are desired to observe that on the 1st of January, being New Year's Day (Oh, that we may all lead new Lives!), Mr Newbery intends to publish the following important volumes, bound and gilt, and hereby invites all his little friends who are good to call for them at the Bible and Sun, in St [iv]Paul's Churchyard: but those who are naughty are to have none.

"The philosophers, politicians, necromancers, and experts in every field are asked to note that on January 1st, New Year's Day (Oh, may we all start fresh!), Mr. Newbery plans to release the following important books, bound and gilded, and he invites all his well-behaved little friends to pick them up at the Bible and Sun, in St [iv] Paul's Churchyard: however, those who misbehave will not receive any."

1. The Renowned History of Giles Gingerbread: a little boy who lived upon learning.
2. The Easter Gift; or the way to be good; a book much wanted.
3. The Whitsuntide Gift: or the way to be happy; a book very necessary for all families.
4. The Valentine Gift: or how to behave with honour, integrity, and humanity: very useful with a Trading Nation.
5. The Fairing: or a golden present for children. In which they can see all the fun of the fair, and at home be as happy as if they were there, a Book of great consequence to all whom it may concern.

"We are also desired to give notice that there is in the Press, and speedily will be published either by subscription or otherwise, as the Public shall please to determine, The History of Little Goody Two Shoes, otherwise called Margery Two Shoes. Printed and sold at The Bible and Sun in St Paul's Churchyard, where may be had all Mr Newbery's little books for the children and youth of these kingdoms and the colonies. New Editions of those which were out of print are now republished.

"We also want to let you know that there’s a book in the works that will soon be available for purchase, either by subscription or in a way that the public decides. It’s called The History of Little Goody Two Shoes, also known as Margery Two Shoes. It will be printed and sold at The Bible and Sun in St Paul's Churchyard, where you can find all of Mr. Newbery's children's books for the kids and young adults in this country and the colonies. New editions of those previously out of print are now being republished."

"The publication of the Lilliputian System of Politics is postponed till the meeting of Parliament. This work, which will be replete with cuts and characters, is not intended to exalt or depress any particular country, to support the pride of any particular family, or to feed the folly of any particular party, but to [vi]stimulate the mind to virtue, to promote universal benevolence, to make mankind happy. Those who would know more of the matter may enquire of Mr Newbery."

"The release of the Lilliputian System of Politics is delayed until the Parliament meets. This work, filled with illustrations and characters, is meant neither to praise nor criticize any specific country, to uphold the pride of any specific family, or to indulge the foolishness of any specific party, but to [vi]encourage virtue, promote universal kindness, and make humanity happy. Those who want to know more about it can ask Mr. Newbery."

This quaint and curious announcement, with its sly humour and serious playfulness, is characteristic of the house of John Newbery, in the latter part of the last century; and there is no need to speak here of the fame of the books for children which he published; "the philanthropic publisher of St Paul's Churchyard," as Goldsmith calls him, conferred inestimable benefits upon thousands of little folk, of both high and low estate. It is said of Southey when a child that

This charming and intriguing announcement, with its clever humor and lighthearted seriousness, is typical of John Newbery's publishing house from the late 18th century. There's no need to discuss the renowned children's books he published; "the philanthropic publisher of St Paul's Churchyard," as Goldsmith referred to him, provided immeasurable benefits to thousands of kids, regardless of their background. It is said that Southey, as a child, that

"The well-known publishers of "Goody Two Shoes," "Giles Gingerbread," and other such delectable histories, in [vii]sixpenny books for children, splendidly bound in the flowered and gilt Dutch paper of former days, sent him twenty such volumes, and laid the foundation of a love of books which grew with the child's growth, and did not cease even when the vacant mind and eye could only gaze in piteous, though blissful imbecility upon the things they loved."[A]

"The famous publishers of 'Goody Two Shoes,' 'Giles Gingerbread,' and other delightful stories, in [vii]sixpenny books for children, beautifully bound in the floral and gold-embossed Dutch paper of earlier times, sent him twenty of these volumes, laying the groundwork for a love of books that developed as the child grew, and continued even when his empty mind and eyes could only stare in a pitiful yet blissful daze at the things they cherished."[A]

Many of these little books have been doubtless long since forgotten, though they did not deserve such a fate; but the name of "Goody Two Shoes" is still familiar to the ears of English children, though the book itself may be unknown to thousands of little ones of this later generation.

Many of these little books have probably been long forgotten, even though they didn’t deserve that fate; but the name "Goody Two Shoes" is still well-known to English children, even though the book itself might be unknown to thousands of kids in this newer generation.

"Goody Two Shoes" was published in April 1765, and few nursery books have had a wider circulation, or have retained their position so long. The number of editions that have been published both in England and America is legion, and it has appeared in mutilated versions under the auspices of numerous publishing houses in London and the provinces, although of late years there have been no new issues. Even in 1802, Charles Lamb in writing to Coleridge, said--

"Goody Two Shoes" was published in April 1765, and few children's books have been more widely circulated or have held their place for so long. There have been countless editions published in both England and America, and it has been released in shortened versions by various publishing houses in London and the regions, though there haven’t been any new editions in recent years. Even in 1802, Charles Lamb, when writing to Coleridge, said--

" "Goody Two Shoes" is almost out of print. Mrs Barbauld's stuff has banished all the old classics of the nursery, and the shopman at Newbery's hardly deigned to reach them off an old exploded corner of a shelf, when Mary asked for them. Mrs Barbauld's and Mrs Trimmer's nonsense lay in piles about. Knowledge, [ix]insignificant and vapid as Mrs Barbauld's books convey, it seems must come to a child in the shape of knowledge; and his empty noddle must be turned with conceit of his own powers when he has learnt that a horse is an animal, and Billy is better than a horse, and such like, instead of that beautiful interest in wild tales, which made the child a man, while all the time he suspected himself to be no bigger than a child. Science has succeeded to poetry no less in the little walks of children than with men. Is there no possibility of averting this sore evil? Think what you would have been now, if instead of being fed with tales and old wives' fables in childhood, you had been crammed with geography and natural history!

"Goody Two Shoes" is almost out of print. Mrs. Barbauld's stuff has pushed aside all the old nursery classics, and the shop assistant at Newbery's barely bothered to grab them from a dusty corner of a shelf when Mary asked for them. Mrs. Barbauld's and Mrs. Trimmer's nonsense is piled everywhere. Knowledge, as insignificant and dull as Mrs. Barbauld's books seem, must come to a child in the form of information, and the child’s empty head must be filled with a sense of pride about his abilities when he learns that a horse is an animal and Billy is better than a horse, and so on, instead of fostering a genuine fascination with wild stories that would help him grow up, all while he secretly thought of himself as just a kid. Science has taken the place of poetry in the little experiences of children just as it has with adults. Is there any way to stop this terrible trend? Just think about who you would be now if, instead of being raised on stories and old wives' tales, you had been stuffed with geography and natural history!

"Hang them!--I mean the cursed Barbauld [x]crew, those blights and blasts of all that is human in man and child."[B]

"Hang them!--I mean the damn Barbauld [x] crew, those pests and curses of everything that is human in men and children."[B]

There must, however, be many parents still living who remember the delight that the little story gave them in their younger days, and they will, no doubt, be pleased to see it once more in the form which was then so familiar to them. The children of to-day, too, will look on it with some curiosity, on account of the fact that it is one of the oldest of our nursery tales, and amused and edified their grand-parents and great grand-parents when they were children, while they cannot fail to be attracted by its simple, pretty, and interesting story.

There are probably still many parents around who remember the joy that this little story brought them when they were younger, and they’ll surely be happy to see it again in the version they knew so well. Today's children will also be curious about it since it's one of the oldest nursery tales we have, which entertained and taught their grandparents and great-grandparents when they were kids. They can't help but be drawn in by its simple, charming, and engaging story.


The question of the authorship of the book is still an unsettled one. It was at one time commonly attributed to Oliver Goldsmith, and no one who reads the book will consider it to be unworthy of the poet's pen. We find, however, in Nichol's Literary Anecdotes, that

The question of who wrote the book is still not settled. At one point, it was widely believed to be by Oliver Goldsmith, and anyone who reads the book would agree it's worthy of the poet's talent. However, we discover in Nichol's Literary Anecdotes that

"It is not perhaps generally known that to Mr Griffith Jones, and a brother of his, Mr Giles Jones, in conjunction with Mr John Newbery, the public are indebted for the origin of those numerous and popular little books for the amusement and instruction of children which have been ever since received with universal approbation. The Lilliputian histories of Goody Two Shoes, Giles Gingerbread, Tommy Trip, &c., &c., are remarkable proofs of the benevolent minds of the projectors of this plan of [xii]instruction, and respectable instances of the accommodation of superior talents to the feeble intellects of infantine felicity."

"It might not be widely known that Mr. Griffith Jones, along with his brother Mr. Giles Jones and Mr. John Newbery, are the ones to thank for the creation of those numerous and popular little books designed to entertain and educate children, which have always been met with widespread approval. The charming stories of Goody Two Shoes, Giles Gingerbread, Tommy Trip, etc., are striking examples of the kind-hearted nature of the creators of this plan for [xii]instruction, and they show how talented individuals can adapt their skills for the simple minds of happy children."

Mr Giles Jones was the grandfather of the late Mr Winter Jones, formerly the Principal Librarian of the British Museum, and the book is attributed to the first-named gentleman in the catalogue of the British Museum. It is claimed also that the book offers internal evidence in support of Mr Giles Jones' authorship, inasmuch as Goody Two Shoes becomes Lady Jones, and one of the prominent families in the book is also named Jones.

Mr. Giles Jones was the grandfather of the late Mr. Winter Jones, who was the Principal Librarian of the British Museum, and the book is credited to the former in the British Museum's catalog. It's also claimed that the book provides internal evidence supporting Mr. Giles Jones' authorship, as Goody Two Shoes becomes Lady Jones, and one of the key families in the book is also named Jones.

Beyond this, however, there appears to be no evidence as to Mr Giles Jones being the writer, and I think something may be said as to the claim on behalf of the poet Goldsmith, although I am by no means anxious that the [xiii]honour of having written it should be ascribed either to the one or to the other: the following remarks, which are mainly taken from an article I contributed to the Athenæum in April 1881, are offered simply as speculations which may not be without interest to lovers of the little book. They may, perhaps, show that there is some reason for attributing the work to Oliver Goldsmith, although, of course, it is not claimed that they absolutely establish the fact.

Beyond this, though, there doesn't seem to be any evidence that Mr. Giles Jones is the author, and I think there's a case to be made for attributing the work to the poet Goldsmith. However, I'm not particularly eager for the [xiii] honor of authorship to go to either of them. The following comments, which are mostly drawn from an article I wrote for the Athenæum in April 1881, are simply offered as speculations that might interest fans of this little book. They may suggest some reasons to attribute the work to Oliver Goldsmith, although, of course, it can't be claimed that they definitively prove it.

Having occasion to examine carefully as many of the books for children published by John Newbery as I could procure (and they are as scarce as blackberries in midwinter, for what among books has so brief a life as a nursery book?), I was struck while perusing them with a certain distinct literary flavour, so to [xiv]speak, which appeared to be common to a group of little volumes, all published about the same period. These were: "Goody Two Shoes," "Giles Gingerbread," "Tom Thumb's Folio," "The Lilliputian Magazine," "The Lilliputian Masquerade," "The Easter Gift," "A Pretty Plaything," "The Fairing," "Be Merry and Wise," "The Valentine's Gift," "Pretty Poems for the Amusement of Children Three Feet High," "A Pretty Book of Pictures," "Tom Telescope," and a few others. I give abbreviated titles only, but if space permitted I mould like to quote them in full; they are remarkable no less for their curious quaintness and their clever ingenuity than for their attractiveness to both parents (who, it must not be forgotten, are more often the real buyers [xv]of children's books) and the young people for whom they were written, and they are in themselves most entertaining and amusing reading. This group of little books possesses, moreover, another characteristic that is sufficiently remarkable of itself to be noticed. While they all evince a real genius for writing in a style suited to the capacities of little folk, there is a nameless something about them which, far more than is the case with thousands of other books for the young, is calculated to enforce the attention and excite the interest of "children of a larger growth."

Having the chance to closely examine as many children's books published by John Newbery as I could find (and they’re as rare as blackberries in winter, since what has a shorter lifespan than a nursery book?), I was struck while reading them by a certain distinct literary flavor, so to speak, which seemed common to a group of little volumes all published around the same time. These included: "Goody Two Shoes," "Giles Gingerbread," "Tom Thumb's Folio," "The Lilliputian Magazine," "The Lilliputian Masquerade," "The Easter Gift," "A Pretty Plaything," "The Fairing," "Be Merry and Wise," "The Valentine's Gift," "Pretty Poems for the Amusement of Children Three Feet High," "A Pretty Book of Pictures," "Tom Telescope," and a few others. I’m only providing shortened titles here, but if I had more space, I would love to quote them in full; they are noteworthy not just for their quirky charm and clever creativity but also for their appeal to both parents (who, let’s not forget, are usually the ones buying children's books) and the young readers for whom they were created, and they are genuinely entertaining and fun to read. This collection of little books also has another characteristic that stands out enough to be mentioned. While they all show a real talent for writing in a style that suits young children, there’s a certain something about them that, much more than in thousands of other books aimed at young readers, is likely to grab the attention and spark the interest of “older children.”

Now one of this little group, "The Lilliputian Magazine," is attributed in the British Museum Catalogue to Oliver Goldsmith; and so strong is the family likeness in all the books I have mentioned, [xvi]that I cannot but believe they are all by the same hand--a belief which I think will be shared by any one who will take the trouble to compare them carefully. But I should advise him to rely on the Newbery editions alone, for grievously garbled versions of nearly every one of these books have been issued from many different houses throughout the country.

Now, one of this little group, "The Lilliputian Magazine," is credited in the British Museum Catalogue to Oliver Goldsmith; and the resemblance among all the books I mentioned is so striking that I can't help but believe they were all written by the same person—a belief I think anyone who takes the time to compare them closely will share. However, I would recommend sticking to the Newbery editions, as seriously distorted versions of almost every one of these books have been published by many different publishers across the country.

Many authorities have supported the view that Goldsmith was the author of "Goody Two Shoes." Conspicuous among them was Washington Irving, who says, "It is suggested with great probability that he wrote for Mr Newbery the famous nursery story of 'Goody Two Shoes.'" It is said also that William Godwin held this opinion; and I believe there is authority for [xvii]stating that the Misses Bewick, the daughters of the celebrated engraver, who illustrated an edition of the book for T. Saint, of Newcastle, understood from their father that it was by Oliver Goldsmith.

Many experts have backed the idea that Goldsmith wrote "Goody Two Shoes." A notable supporter was Washington Irving, who said, "It's suggested with strong likelihood that he wrote for Mr. Newbery the famous nursery story of 'Goody Two Shoes.'" It's also said that William Godwin shared this belief; and I think there’s evidence for [xvii] claiming that the Misses Bewick, the daughters of the famous engraver who illustrated an edition of the book for T. Saint of Newcastle, were told by their father that it was written by Oliver Goldsmith.

But let us turn to the book itself and see if it furnishes any evidence on the point. The very title, with its quaint phrasing, shows no common genius, and as Washington Irving says, "bears the stamp of his [Goldsmith's] sly and playful humour." As the book was published in 1765, it would most likely have been written just at the time when Goldsmith was working most industriously in the service of Newbery (1763-4), at which period it will be remembered that he was living near Newbery at Islington, and his publisher was paying for his board and lodging.

But let's focus on the book itself and see if it provides any evidence on the matter. The title, with its unique phrasing, shows a distinct talent, and as Washington Irving puts it, "bears the stamp of his [Goldsmith's] sly and playful humor." Since the book was published in 1765, it was likely written around the time when Goldsmith was working hard for Newbery (1763-4). At that time, he was living near Newbery in Islington, and his publisher was covering his food and housing costs.

Without, of course, claiming that similarity of idea in different writings necessarily betokens the same authorship, I think the parallels that are to be found in this little book, with many of the sentiments in Oliver Goldsmith's acknowledged work--to say nothing of the almost universally recognized likeness to Goldsmith's style that is found in "Goody Two Shoes" may fairly be considered as throwing some light upon the question.

Without claiming that similar ideas in different writings mean they were written by the same person, I believe the parallels found in this little book, along with many sentiments in Oliver Goldsmith's well-known work—let alone the almost universally acknowledged resemblance to Goldsmith's style in "Goody Two Shoes"—can provide some insight into the question.

The most striking of these parallels is perhaps that furnished by the curious little political preface to the work--a preface which is quite unnecessary to the book, and I think would only have been inserted by one who was full of the unjustnesses at which he was preparing to aim a still heavier blow. In [xix]describing the parish of Mouldwell, where little Margery was born, an exact picture is drawn of "The Deserted Village," where

The most striking of these parallels might be the odd little political preface to the work—one that isn't really needed for the book, and I believe was only included by someone who was full of the injustices they were getting ready to attack with an even stronger strike. In [xix] describing the parish of Mouldwell, where little Margery was born, a precise picture is painted of "The Deserted Village," where

  One only master grasps the whole domain
  And half a tillage tints thy smiling plain;

Only one master understands the entire area
And half a farm adds color to your cheerful landscape;

And where

And where?

      ---- the man of wealth and pride
  Takes up a space that many a poor supplied:
  Space for his lakes his park's extended bounds,
  Space for his horses, equipage, and hounds.

      ---- the man of wealth and pride
  Occupies an area that many in need filled:
  Room for his lakes, the boundaries of his park,
  Room for his horses, his carriage, and his hounds.

And by this and other tyrannies, and being also

And by this and other oppressive acts, and being also

  Scourged by famine from the smiling land,

Stricken by hunger from the cheerful land,

for he was "unfortunate in his business" at about the same time, Sir Timothy accomplishes his aim, and

for he was "unlucky in his business" around the same time, Sir Timothy achieves his goal, and

  Indignant spurns the cottage from the green.

  Angrily rejects the cottage from the green.

Ruined by this oppression, poor Mr [xx]Meanwell is turned out of doors,
and flew to another parish for succour.

Ruined by this oppression, poor Mr [xx]Meanwell is kicked out,
and ran to another parish for help.

  Where, then, ah! where shall poverty reside
  To 'scape the pressure of contiguous pride?

Where, then, oh! where can poverty live
To escape the burden of nearby arrogance?

Sir Timothy, however, suffers for his injustice and wickedness, for "great part of the land lay untilled for some years, which was deemed a just reward for such diabolical proceedings."

Sir Timothy, however, pays for his unfairness and evil, because "a large portion of the land remained uncultivated for several years, which was considered a fitting punishment for such wicked actions."

  Ill fares the land, to hastening ills a prey,
  Where wealth accumulates and men decay.

The land suffers, becoming a target for quick misfortunes,
Where money gathers and people decline.

Miss Charlotte Yonge, to whom I shall refer again, lays upon this: "If the conjecture be true which attributes this tale to Oliver Goldsmith, we have seen the same spirit which prompted his poem of 'The Deserted Village,' namely, indignation and dismay at the discouragement of small holdings in the early part [xxi]of the eighteenth century."[C] Indeed, it may well be that we have in this preface even a more true picture of Lissoy than that given in the poem, which, as Mr William Black says in his monograph on Goldsmith, "is there seen through the softening and beautifying mist of years."

Miss Charlotte Yonge, whom I will mention again, emphasizes this: "If the theory is correct that this story comes from Oliver Goldsmith, we witness the same spirit that inspired his poem 'The Deserted Village,' which reflects his indignation and dismay over the decline of small farms in the early part of the eighteenth century." Indeed, it may be that this preface offers an even more accurate portrayal of Lissoy than what is depicted in the poem, which, as Mr. William Black points out in his study on Goldsmith, "is seen through the softening and beautifying haze of time."

Much more might be said of the characteristics of this little book, which contains so much that reminds us not only of the style but the matter of many of Goldsmith's writings. Miss Yonge says: "There is a certain dry humour in some passages and a tenderness in others that incline us much to the belief that it could come from no one else but the writer of 'The Vicar of Wakefield' [xxii]and 'The Deserted Village.' Indeed, we could almost imagine that Dr Primrose himself had described the panic at the supposed ghost in the church in the same tone as the ride to church, the family portrait, or the gross of green spectacles.'[D] We find in "Goody Two Shoes" every one of those distinctive qualities of Goldsmith's writings which Mr William Black so well summarizes in the book already referred to--"his genuine and tender pathos, that never at any time verges on the affected or theatrical;" his "quaint, delicate, delightful humour;" his "broader humour, that is not afraid to provoke the wholesome laughter of mankind by dealing with common and familiar ways [xxiii]and manners and men;" his "choiceness of diction;" his "lightness and grace of touch, that lend a charm even to" his "ordinary hack work."

Much more could be said about the features of this little book, which has so much that reminds us not only of the style but also of the content of many of Goldsmith's works. Miss Yonge states: "There's a certain dry humor in some sections and a tenderness in others that strongly suggests it could only come from the author of 'The Vicar of Wakefield' [xxii]and 'The Deserted Village.' In fact, we could almost picture Dr. Primrose himself describing the panic over the supposed ghost in the church in the same manner as the ride to church, the family portrait, or the set of green spectacles." We find in "Goody Two Shoes" each of those distinct qualities of Goldsmith’s writings that Mr. William Black succinctly summarizes in the previously mentioned book—"his genuine and tender pathos, which never slips into being affected or theatrical;" his "quirky, delicate, delightful humor;" his "broader humor, which is unafraid to evoke the healthy laughter of people by addressing everyday ways [xxiii]and manners and people;" his "elegance of language;" his "lightness and grace of expression, which even bring charm to" his "ordinary routine work."


The reprint which is here presented is a photographic facsimile of the earliest complete copy that we have been able to procure. Judging from fragments of earlier editions in the possession of the publishers, it would appear to be printed from exactly the same types as the original issue of April 1765. The copy from which the reprint is made was kindly lent to the publishers by Mr Ernest Hartley Coleridge, whose collection at the South Kensington Museum of eighteenth century books for children is well known. The actual size of that book is 4 inches by 2-3/4, but it has been thought better to print on somewhat larger paper. The original is bound in the once familiar Dutch flowered and gilt pattern paper, and we had hoped to present the [xxiv]reprint in a similar cover, but it was found impossible, as nothing like it could be procured, nor could the manufacturers of the present day exactly reproduce it.

The reprint presented here is a photographic facsimile of the earliest complete copy we've been able to obtain. Based on fragments of earlier editions held by the publishers, it seems to be printed from exactly the same types as the original issue from April 1765. The copy used for the reprint was generously lent to the publishers by Mr. Ernest Hartley Coleridge, whose collection of eighteenth-century children’s books at the South Kensington Museum is well-known. The actual size of that book is 4 inches by 2-3/4, but we thought it would be better to print on slightly larger paper. The original is bound in the once-familiar Dutch flowered and gilt patterned paper, and we had hoped to present the [xxiv] reprint in a similar cover, but it proved impossible, as nothing like it could be found, nor could today’s manufacturers reproduce it exactly.

[Footnote A: Essays from the Times. Robert Southey. By Samuel Phillips, pp. 168-169, vol. i.]

[Footnote A: Essays from the Times. Robert Southey. By Samuel Phillips, pp. 168-169, vol. i.]

[Footnote B: See "The Works of Charles Lamb." By Percy Fitzgerald, M.A., F.S.A. Vol. 1. Page 420. London: E. Moxon & Co., 1876.]

[Footnote B: See "The Works of Charles Lamb." By Percy Fitzgerald, M.A., F.S.A. Vol. 1. Page 420. London: E. Moxon & Co., 1876.]

[Footnote C: "A Storehouse of Stories," p. 69, First Series.]

[Footnote C: "A Storehouse of Stories," p. 69, First Series.]

[Footnote D: "A Storehouse of Stories," First Series, preface.]

[Footnote D: "A Storehouse of Stories," First Series, preface.]



Little Goody Two-Shoes
[1]

T H E

H I S T O R Y

O F

Little GOODY TWO-SHOES;

Otherwise called,

Mrs. MARGERY TWO-SHOES.

W I T H

The Means by which she acquired her Learning and Wisdom, and in consequence thereof her Estate; set forth at large for the Benefit of those,

The ways she gained her knowledge and wisdom, and as a result her wealth; detailed fully for the benefit of those,

  Who from a State of Rags and Care
  And having Shoes but half a Pair;
  Their Fortune and their Fame would fix,
  And gallop in a Coach and Six.

Who from a state of rags and struggle
And having shoes that are only half a pair;
Their fortune and their fame would secure,
And ride in a coach with six horses.

See the Original Manuscript in the Vatican at Rome, and the Cuts by Michael Angelo. Illustrated with the Comments of our great modern Critics.

See the Original Manuscript in the Vatican at Rome, and the Sculptures by Michelangelo. Illustrated with the insights from our leading contemporary critics.


The T H I R D   E D I T I O N.

L O N D O N :

Printed for J. NEWBERY, at the Bible and
Sun in St. Paul's-Church-Yard, 1766.
[Price Six-pence.]




[3]

T O  A L L

Young Gentlemen and Ladies,

Who are good, or intend to be good,

This B O O K

Is inscribed by

Their old Friend

In St. Paul's Church-yard.




[4]

The Renowned

H I S T O R Y

O F

Little GOODY TWO-SHOES;

Commonly called,

Old GOODY TWO-SHOES.


P  A  R T   I.

INTRODUCTION.         By the Editor.

INTRODUCTION. By the Editor.

All the World must allow, that Two Shoes was not her real Name. No; her Father's Name was Meanwell; and he was for many Years a considerable Farmer in the Parish where Margery was born; but by the [5]Misfortunes which he met with in Business, and the wicked Persecutions of Sir Timothy Gripe, and an over-grown Farmer called Graspall, he was effectually ruined.

All the world must agree that Two Shoes wasn't her real name. No, her father's name was Meanwell, and he was a well-known farmer in the parish where Margery was born. However, due to the [5]misfortunes he faced in business and the cruel harassment from Sir Timothy Gripe and a large farmer named Graspall, he was completely ruined.

The Case was thus. The Parish of Mouldwell where they lived, had for many Ages been let by the Lord of the Manor into twelve different Farms, in which the Tenants lived comfortably, brought up large Families, and carefully supported the poor People who laboured for them; until the Estate by Marriage and by Death came into the Hands of Sir Timothy.

The situation was like this. The Parish of Mouldwell, where they lived, had been divided by the Lord of the Manor into twelve different farms for many years. The tenants lived well, raised large families, and took good care of the poor people who worked for them, until the estate eventually came into the hands of Sir Timothy through marriage and death.

This Gentleman, who loved himself better than all his Neighbours, thought it less Trouble to write one Receipt for his Rent than twelve, and Farmer Graspall offering to take all the Farms as the Leases expired, Sir Timothy agreed with him, and in Process of [6]Time he was possessed of every Farm, but that occupied by little Margery's Father; which he also wanted; for as Mr. Meanwell was a charitable good Man, he stood up for the Poor at the Parish Meetings, and was unwilling to have them oppressed by Sir Timothy, and this avaricious Farmer.--Judge, oh kind, humane and courteous Reader, what a terrible Situation the Poor must be in, when this covetous Man was perpetual Overseer, and every Thing for their Maintenance was drawn from his hard Heart and cruel Hand. But he was not only perpetual Overseer, but perpetual Church-warden; and judge, oh ye Christians, what State the Church must be in, when supported by a Man without Religion or Virtue. He was also perpetual Surveyor of the Highways, and what Sort of Roads he kept up for the [7]Convenience of Travellers, those best know who have had the Misfortune to be obliged to pass thro' that Parish.--Complaints indeed were made, but to what Purpose are Complaints, when brought against a Man, who can hunt, drink, and smoak with the Lord of the Manor, who is also the Justice of Peace?

This guy, who loved himself more than all his neighbors, figured it was easier to write one bill for his rent than twelve. So, when Farmer Graspall offered to take all the farms as the leases expired, Sir Timothy agreed with him, and eventually he ended up owning every farm except the one occupied by little Margery's dad; which he also wanted. Mr. Meanwell, a kind-hearted man, advocated for the poor at parish meetings and didn’t want them to suffer under Sir Timothy and this greedy farmer. Think about how terrible the situation must be for the poor when this greedy man was always in charge, and their survival depended on his cold heart and cruel hand. He wasn't just always in charge; he was also the constant churchwarden. Imagine what shape the church must be in, supported by a man with no faith or virtue. He was also the ongoing surveyor of the highways, and anyone who has had the misfortune of going through that parish knows just how terrible the roads were for travelers. Complaints were indeed made, but what’s the point of complaining against a man who can hunt, drink, and smoke with the lord of the manor, who also happens to be the Justice of the Peace?

The Opposition which little Margery's Father made to this Man's Tyranny, gave Offence to Sir Timothy, who endeavoured to force him out of his Farm; and to oblige him to throw up the Lease, ordered both a Brick Kiln and a Dog-kennel to be erected in the Farmer's Orchard. This was contrary to Law, and a Suit was commenced, in which Margery's Father got the better. The same Offence was again committed three different Times, and as many Actions brought, [8]in all of which the Farmer had a Verdict and Costs paid him; but notwithstanding these Advantages, the Law was so expensive, that he was ruined in the Contest, and obliged to give up all he had to his Creditors; which effectually answered the Purpose of Sir Timothy, who erected those Nuisances in the Farmer's Orchard with that Intention only. Ah, my dear Reader, we brag of Liberty, and boast of our Laws: but the Blessings of the one, and the Protection of the other, seldom fall to the Lot of the Poor; and especially when a rich Man is their Adversary. How, in the Name of Goodness, can a poor Wretch obtain Redress, when thirty Pounds are insufficient to try his Cause? Where is he to find Money to see Council, or how can he plead his Cause himself (even if he [9]was permitted) when our Laws are so obscure, and so multiplied, that an Abridgment of them cannot be contained in fifty Volumes in Folio?

The opposition that little Margery's father had to this man's tyranny upset Sir Timothy, who tried to force him off his farm. To pressure him into giving up the lease, he ordered a brick kiln and a dog kennel to be built in the farmer's orchard. This was against the law, and a lawsuit was filed in which Margery's father came out on top. The same offense was committed three more times, resulting in as many lawsuits, [8] all of which the farmer won, receiving a verdict and costs. However, despite these victories, the legal costs were so high that he was left bankrupt and had to surrender everything to his creditors. This effectively achieved Sir Timothy's goal, as he set up those nuisances in the farmer's orchard with that very intention. Ah, my dear reader, we boast about our freedom and take pride in our laws, but the benefits of one and the protection of the other rarely reach the poor, especially when a wealthy person is their opponent. How, for heaven's sake, can a poor person find justice when thirty pounds isn’t enough to fight their case? Where can they find money for legal counsel, or how can they argue their case themselves (even if they were allowed to) when our laws are so complicated and so numerous that a summary of them would fill fifty hefty volumes?

turned the Farmer, his Wife, little Margery, and her Brother out of Doors

As soon as Mr. Meanwell had called together his Creditors, Sir Timothy seized for a Year's Rent, and turned the Farmer, his Wife, little Margery, and her Brother out of Doors, without any of the Necessaries of Life to support them.

As soon as Mr. Meanwell gathered his creditors, Sir Timothy took possession for a year's rent and threw the farmer, his wife, little Margery, and her brother out of the house, leaving them without any essentials to survive.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

This elated the Heart of Mr. Graspall, this crowned his Hopes, and filled the Measure of his Iniquity; for besides gratifying his Revenge, this Man's Overthrow gave him the sole Dominion of the Poor, whom he depressed and abused in a Manner too horrible to mention.

This thrilled Mr. Graspall's heart, fulfilled his hopes, and filled him with wickedness; because in addition to satisfying his desire for revenge, this man's downfall gave him complete control over the poor, whom he mistreated and exploited in ways too horrific to describe.

Margery's Father flew into another Parish for Succour, and all those who were able to move left their Dwellings and sought Employment elsewhere, as they found it would be impossible to live under the Tyranny of two such People. The very old, the very lame and the blind were obliged to stay behind, and whether they were starved, or what became of them, History does not say; but the Character of the great Sir Timothy, and his avaricious Tenant, were so infamous, that nobody would work for them by the Day, and [11]Servants were afraid to engage themselves by the Year, lest any unforeseen Accident should leave them Parishioners in a Place, where they knew they must perish miserably; so that great Part of the Land lay untilled for some Years, which was deemed a just Reward for such diabolical Proceedings.

Margery's father fled to another parish for help, and all those who could pack up and leave abandoned their homes in search of work elsewhere, knowing they couldn't survive under the tyranny of two such people. The very old, the disabled, and the blind were forced to stay behind, and whether they starved or what happened to them remains unknown; but the reputation of the great Sir Timothy and his greedy tenant was so terrible that no one would work for them daily, and [11] servants were hesitant to sign annual contracts, fearing any unexpected issues might trap them in a place where they knew they would suffer greatly. As a result, a large part of the land remained uncultivated for several years, which was seen as a fitting consequence for such wicked actions.

But what, says the Reader, can occasion all this? Do you intend this for Children, Mr. NEWBERY? Why, do you suppose this is written by Mr. NEWBERY, Sir? This may come from another Hand. This is not the Book, Sir, mentioned in the Title, but the Introduction to that Book; and it is intended, Sir, not for those Sort of Children, but for Children of six Feet high, of which, as my Friend has justly observed, there are many Millions in the Kingdom; and these [12]Reflections, Sir, have been rendered necessary, by the unaccountable and diabolical Scheme which many Gentlemen now give into, of laying a Number of Farms into one, and very often of a whole Parish into one Farm; which in the End must reduce the common People to a State of Vassalage, worse than that under the Barons of old, or of the Clans in Scotland; and will in Time depopulate the Kingdom. But as you are tired of the Subject, I shall take myself away, and you may visit Little Margery. So, Sir, your Servant,

But what, the Reader asks, could be behind all this? Do you mean this for kids, Mr. NEWBERY? Why, do you think this is written by Mr. NEWBERY, Sir? This could come from someone else. This isn’t the Book, Sir, mentioned in the Title, but the Introduction to that Book; and it’s meant, Sir, not for the usual kind of kids, but for kids who are six feet tall, of which, as my Friend rightly pointed out, there are millions in the Kingdom; and these [12] Reflections, Sir, have become necessary due to the strange and terrible plan that many Gentlemen are now following, which involves merging multiple Farms into one, and often turning an entire Parish into a single Farm; which in the end will reduce the common people to a state of serfdom, worse than what was faced under the Barons of old, or the Clans in Scotland; and will eventually depopulate the Kingdom. But since you’re tired of the topic, I’ll take my leave, and you can go see Little Margery. So, Sir, your servant,

The EDITOR.

The EDITOR.





[13]

C  H  A  P.   I.

How and about Little Margery and her Brother.

How about Little Margery and her Brother.

Margery' father seized with a violent Fever

Care and Discontent shortened the Days of Little Margery's Father.--He was forced from his Family, and seized with a violent Fever in a Place where Dr. James's Powder was not to be had, and where he died miserably. Margery's poor Mother survived the Loss of her Husband but a few Days, and died of a broken Heart, leaving Margery and her little Brother to the wide World; but, poor Woman, it would have melted your Heart to have seen how frequently she heaved up her Head, while she lay speechless, to survey with languishing Looks her little Orphans, [14]as much as to say, Do Tommy, do Margery, come with me. They cried, poor Things, and she sighed away her Soul; and I hope is happy.

Care and Discontent shortened the days of little Margery's father. He was separated from his family and struck by a severe fever in a place where Dr. James's Powder was unavailable, and he died in agony. Margery's poor mother endured the loss of her husband for just a few days before dying of a broken heart, leaving Margery and her little brother to face the world alone. But, poor woman, it would have touched your heart to see how often she lifted her head, while lying speechless, to gaze with longing looks at her little orphans, [14] as if to say, Do Tommy, do Margery, come with me. They cried, poor things, while she sighed away her soul; and I hope she is happy.

It would both have excited your Pity, and have done your Heart good, to have seen how fond these two little ones were of each other, and how, Hand in Hand, they trotted about. Pray see them.

It would have both stirred your compassion and warmed your heart to see how much these two little ones cared for each other and how they walked hand in hand as they trotted around. Please take a look at them.

Hand in Hand

They were both very ragged, and Tommy had two Shoes, but Margery had but one. They had nothing, poor Things, to support them (not being in their own Parish) but what they picked from the Hedges, or got from the poor People, and they lay every Night in a Barn. Their Relations took no Notice of them; no, they were rich, and ashamed to own [16]such a poor little ragged Girl as Margery, and such a dirty little curl-pated Boy as Tommy. Our Relations and Friends seldom take Notice of us when we are poor; but as we grow rich they grow fond. And this will always be the Case, while People love Money better than Virtue, or better than they do GOD Almighty. But such wicked Folks, who love nothing but Money, and are proud and despise the Poor, never come to any good in the End, as we shall see by and by.

They were both looking pretty rough, and Tommy had two shoes, while Margery only had one. They had nothing to support them (since they were not in their own neighborhood) except what they gathered from the hedges or received from the kind-hearted, and they spent every night in a barn. Their relatives completely ignored them; yes, they were wealthy and too embarrassed to acknowledge [16]a poor little ragged girl like Margery and a dirty little curly-haired boy like Tommy. Our relatives and friends rarely pay attention to us when we're struggling; but as we become wealthy, they start to care. This will always be the case, as long as people value money more than virtue, or even more than they value GOD Almighty. But those wicked individuals, who care only about money and look down on the poor, never end up doing well in the end, as we will see later.





C  H  A  P.   II.

How and about Mr. Smith.

What's up with Mr. Smith?

Mr. Smith

Mr. Smith was a very worthy Clergyman, who lived in the Parish where Little Margery and [17]Tommy were born; and having a Relation come to see him, who was a charitable good Man, he sent for these Children to him. The Gentleman ordered Little Margery a new Pair of Shoes, gave Mr. Smith some Money to buy her Cloathes; and said, he would take Tommy and make him a little Sailor; and accordingly had a Jacket and Trowsers made for him, in which he now appears. Pray look at him.

Mr. Smith was a very respectable clergyman who lived in the parish where Little Margery and [17]Tommy were born. When a relative visited him, who was a kind-hearted man, he called for the children to come to him. The gentleman ordered Little Margery a new pair of shoes, gave Mr. Smith some money to buy her clothes, and said that he would take Tommy and make him a little sailor. He then had a jacket and trousers made for him, which he now wears. Please take a look at him.

After some Days the Gentleman intended to go to London, and take little Tommy with him, of whom you will know more by and by, for we shall at a proper Time present you with some Part of his History, his Travels and Adventures.

After a few days, the gentleman planned to head to London and take little Tommy with him, about whom you'll learn more later, as we'll share some of his story, travels, and adventures at the right time.

Tommy wiped off her Tears with the End of his Jacket

The Parting between these two little Children was very affecting, Tommy cried, and Margery cried, and they kissed each other an hundred Times. At last Tommy thus wiped off her Tears [19]with the End of his Jacket, and bid her cry no more, for that he would come to her again, when he returned from Sea. However, as they were so very fond, the Gentleman would not suffer them to take Leave of each other; but told Tommy he should ride out with him, and come back at Night. When night came, Little Margery grew very uneasy about her Brother, and after sitting up as late as Mr. Smith would let her, she went crying to Bed.

The goodbye between these two little kids was very emotional. Tommy cried, and Margery cried, and they kissed each other a hundred times. Finally, Tommy wiped her tears away [19] with the end of his jacket and told her not to cry anymore, because he would come back to her when he returned from the sea. However, since they were so close, the gentleman wouldn’t let them say goodbye; he told Tommy that he should go out with him and come back at night. When night came, little Margery became very worried about her brother, and after staying up as late as Mr. Smith would allow her, she went to bed crying.





C  H  A  P.   III.

How Little Margery obtained the Name of
Goody Two-Shoes, and what happened in the Parish.

How Little Margery got the Name of
Goody Two-Shoes, and what happened in the Parish.

Two Shoes, Mame, see two Shoes

As soon as Little Margery got up in the Morning, which was [20]very early, she ran all round the Village, crying for her Brother; and after some Time returned greatly distressed. However, at this Instant, the Shoemaker very opportunely came in with the new Shoes, for which she had been measured by the Gentleman's Order.

As soon as Little Margery got up in the morning, which was [20]very early, she ran all around the village, calling for her brother; and after some time, she returned feeling very upset. Just then, the shoemaker conveniently arrived with the new shoes that she had been measured for by the gentleman's order.

Nothing could have supported Little Margery under the Affliction she was in for the Loss of her Brother, but the Pleasure she took in her two Shoes. She ran out to Mrs. Smith as soon as they were put on, and stroking down her ragged Apron thus, [21]cried out, Two Shoes, Mame, see two Shoes. And so she behaved to all the People she met, and by that Means obtained the Name of Goody Two-Shoes, though her Playmates called her Old Goody Two-Shoes.

Nothing could help Little Margery get through the sadness of losing her brother except the joy she found in her two shoes. As soon as she put them on, she ran out to Mrs. Smith, smoothed down her tattered apron, and shouted, Two shoes, Mame, check out my two shoes! She did the same with everyone she met, which is how she earned the nickname Goody Two-Shoes, although her playmates called her Old Goody Two-Shoes.

Little Margery was very happy in being with Mr. and Mrs. Smith, who were very charitable and good to her, and had agreed to breed her up with [22]their Family; but as soon as that Tyrant of the Parish, that Graspall, heard of her being there, he applied first to Mr. Smith, and threatened to reduce his Tythes if he kept her; and after that he spoke to Sir Timothy, who sent Mr. Smith a peremptory Message by his Servant, that he should send back Meanwell's Girl to be kept by her Relations, and not harbour her in the Parish. This so distressed Mr. Smith that he shed Tears, and cried, Lord have Mercy on the Poor!

Little Margery was very happy being with Mr. and Mrs. Smith, who were kind and generous to her, and had agreed to raise her with [22] their family; but as soon as that tyrant of the parish, Graspall, heard she was there, he first approached Mr. Smith and threatened to cut his Tithes if he kept her; after that, he spoke to Sir Timothy, who sent Mr. Smith a forceful message through his servant, demanding that he should return Meanwell's girl to be cared for by her relatives, and not allow her to stay in the parish. This so upset Mr. Smith that he shed tears and cried, Lord have mercy on the poor!

The Prayers of the Righteous fly upwards, and reach unto the Throne of Heaven, as will be seen in the Sequel.

The prayers of the righteous rise up and reach the Throne of Heaven, as will be shown later.

Mrs. Smith was also greatly concerned at being thus obliged to discard poor Little Margery. She kissed her and cried; [23]as also did Mr. Smith, but they were obliged to send her away; for the People who had ruined her Father could at any Time have ruined them.

Mrs. Smith was really worried about having to give up little Margery. She kissed her and cried; [23]so did Mr. Smith, but they had no choice but to send her away; because the people who had destroyed her father could easily do the same to them.

Mr. Smith kissed her




[24]

C  H  A  P.   IV.

How Little Margery learned to read,
and by Degrees taught others.

How Little Margery learned to read,
and gradually taught others.

Little Margery saw how good, and how wise Mr. Smith was, and concluded, that this was owing to his great Learning, therefore she wanted of all Things to learn to read. For this Purpose she used to meet the little Boys and Girls as they came from School, borrow their Books, and sit down and read till they returned;

Little Margery saw how kind and smart Mr. Smith was and thought this was because of his extensive knowledge. So, she really wanted to learn to read. To achieve this, she would meet the boys and girls as they came home from school, borrow their books, and sit down to read until they got back;

Boys and Girls sit down and read

By this Means she soon got more Learning than any of her Playmates, and laid the following Scheme for instructing those who were more ignorant than herself. She found, that only the following Letters were required to spell all the Words in the World; but as some of these Letters are large and some small, she with[26] her Knife cut out of several Pieces of Wood ten Setts of each of these:

By doing this, she quickly learned more than any of her friends and came up with a plan to teach those who knew less than she did. She discovered that only the following letters were needed to spell all the words in the world; however, since some of these letters are uppercase and some are lowercase, she used her knife to cut out ten sets of each letter from various pieces of wood:

a   b   c   d   e   f   g   h   i   j   k   l   m   n   o
p   q   r   (s)   s   t   u   v   w   x   y   z.

[Post-processor's note: (s) is an old-English style non-terminating letter "s".]

[Post-processor's note: (s) is an old-English style non-terminating letter "s".]

And six Setts of these:

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   K   L   M   N   O
P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z.

And having got an old Spelling-Book, she made her Companions set up all the Words they wanted to spell, and after that she taught them to compose Sentences. You know what a Sentence is, my Dear, I will be good, is a Sentence; and is made up, as you see, of several Words.

And after getting an old Spelling Book, she had her friends write down all the words they wanted to spell, and then she taught them how to form sentences. You know what a sentence is, my dear; I will be good is a sentence and is made up, as you can see, of several words.

The usual Manner of Spelling, or carrying on the Game, as they called [27]it, was this: Suppose the Word to be spelt was Plumb Pudding (and who can suppose a better) the Children were placed in a Circle, and the first brought the Letter P, the next l, the next u, the next m, and so on till the Whole was spelt; and if any one brought a wrong Letter, he was to pay a Fine, or play no more. This was at their Play; and every Morning she used to go round to teach the Children with these Rattle-traps in a Basket, as you see in the Print.

The typical way of spelling, or playing the Game, as they called it, was like this: If the word to be spelled was Plumb Pudding (and who could think of a better one?), the children formed a circle, and the first child brought the letter P, the next l, the next u, the next m, and so on until the whole word was spelled out. If anyone brought a wrong letter, they had to pay a fine or could no longer play. This was during their playtime; and every morning, she used to go around to teach the children with these noisemakers in a basket, as you can see in the picture.

Rattle-traps in a Basket

I once went her Rounds with her, and was highly diverted, as you may be, if you please to look into the next Chapter.

I once accompanied her on her rounds, and I found it very entertaining, just as you might if you check out the next chapter.





C  H  A  P.   V.

How Little Two-Shoes became a trotting Tutoress
and how she taught her young Pupils.

How Little Two-Shoes became a running Tutor
and how she taught her young Students.

It was about seven o'Clock in the Morning when we set out on this [29]important Business, and the first House we came to was Farmer Wilson's. See here it is.

It was around seven o'clock in the morning when we started on this [29]important business, and the first house we got to was Farmer Wilson's. Here it is.

Farmer Wilson's house

Here Margery stopped, and ran up to the Door, Tap, tap, tap. Who's there? Only little goody Two-Shoes, answered Margery, come to teach Billy. Oh Little Goody, says Mrs. Wilson, with Pleasure in her Face, I am glad to see you, Billy wants [30]you sadly, for he has learned all his Lesson. Then out came the little Boy. How do doody Two-Shoes, says he, not able to speak plain. Yet this little Boy had learned all his Letters; for she threw down this Alphabet mixed together thus:

Here Margery stopped and ran up to the door, Tap, tap, tap. Who's there? Just little goody Two-Shoes, Margery replied, here to teach Billy. Oh, little Goody, says Mrs. Wilson, beaming with happiness, I’m so glad to see you. Billy needs you badly, as he has learned all his lessons. Then out came the little boy. How do you do, Two-Shoes? he said, struggling to enunciate clearly. Yet this little boy had learned all his letters; she tossed this mixed-up alphabet down like this:

b   d   f   h   k   m   o   q   s   u   w   y   z   [s]
a   c   e   g   i   l   n   p   r   t   v   x   j

and he picked them up, called them by their right Names, and put them all in order thus:

and he picked them up, called them by their proper names, and arranged them all like this:

a   b   c   d   e   f   g   h   i   j   k   l   m   n   o
p   q   r   (s)   s   t   u   v   w   x   y   z.

[Post-processor's note: (s) is an old-English style non-terminating letter "s".]

[Post-processor's note: (s) is an old-English style non-terminating letter "s".]

She then threw down the Alphabet of Capital Letters in the Manner you here see them.

She then tossed the capital letters of the alphabet down in the way you see them here.

B   D   F   H   K   M   O   Q   S   U   W   Y   Z
A   C   E   G   I   L   N   P   R   T   V   X   J.

and he picked them all up, and having told their Names, placed them thus:

and he picked them all up, and after saying their names, placed them like this:

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M
N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z.

Now, pray little Reader, take this Bodkin, and see if you can point out the Letters from these mixed Alphabets, and tell how they should be placed as well as little Boy Billy.

Now, please, dear Reader, take this tool and see if you can pick out the letters from these mixed alphabets, and tell how they should be arranged, just like little Boy Billy.

The next Place we came to was Farmer Simpson's, and here it is.

The next place we arrived at was Farmer Simpson's, and here it is.

Farmer Simpson's house

Bow wow, wow, says the Dog at the Door. Sirrah, says his Mistress, what do you bark at Little Two-Shoes. Come in Madge; here, Sally wants you sadly, she has learned all her Lesson. Then out came the little one: So Madge! say she; so Sally! answered the other, have you learned your Lesson? Yes, that's what I have, replied the little one in [33]the Country Manner; and immediately taking the Letters she set up these Syllables:

Bow wow, wow, says the Dog at the Door. Hey, says his Mistress, why are you barking at Little Two-Shoes? Come in Madge; here, Sally needs you badly, she has learned all her lesson. Then out came the little one: So Madge! she says; so Sally! replied the other, have you learned your lesson? Yes, I have, answered the little one in [33]the Country Manner; and right away taking the Letters, she started forming these Syllables:

ba   be   bi   bo   bu,   ca   ce   ci   co   cu
da   de   di   do   du,   fa   fe   fi   so   fu.

and gave them their exact Sounds as she composed them; after which she set up the following;

and gave them their exact sounds as she created them; after which she established the following;

ac   ec   ic   oc   uc,   ad   ed   id   od   ud
af   ef   if   of   uf,   ag   eg   ig   og   ug.

And pronounced them likewise. She then sung the Cuzz's Chorus (which may be found in the Little Pretty Play Thing, published by Mr. N E W B E R Y) and to the same Tune to which it is there set.

And said them the same way. She then sang the Cuzz's Chorus (which can be found in the Little Pretty Play Thing, published by Mr. N E W B E R Y) to the same tune that's used there.

After this, Little Two-Shoes taught her to spell Words of one Syllable, [34]and she soon set up Pear, Plumb. Top, Ball, Pin, Puss, Dog, Hog, Fawn, Buck, Doe, Lamb, Sheep, Ram, Cow, Bull, Cock, Hen, and many more.

After that, Little Two-Shoes taught her to spell one-syllable words, [34] and she quickly started with Pear, Plum, Top, Ball, Pin, Cat, Dog, Pig, Fawn, Buck, Doe, Lamb, Sheep, Ram, Cow, Bull, Rooster, Hen, and many others.

The next Place we came to was Gaffer Cook's Cottage; there you see it before you.

The next place we arrived at was Gaffer Cook's Cottage; there it is right in front of you.

Gaffer Cook's Cottage

Here a number of poor Children were met to learn; who all came [35]round Little Margery at once; and, having pulled out her Letters, she asked the little Boy next her, what he had for Dinner? Who answered, Bread. (the poor Children in many Places live very hard) Well then, says she, set the first Letter. He put up the Letter B, to which the next added r, and the next e, the next a, the next d, and it stood thus, Bread.

Here, a group of poor children gathered to learn, all surrounding little Margery at once. She pulled out her letters and asked the little boy next to her what he had for dinner. He replied, Bread. (The poor children in many places live very tough lives.) "Well then," she said, "set the first letter." He placed the letter B, then the next added r, the next e, the next a, and finally, the last one put up d, and it spelled Bread.

And what had you Polly Comb for your Dinner? Apple-pye answered the little Girl: Upon which the next in Turn set up a great A, the two next a p each, and so on till the two Words Apple and Pye were united and stood thus, Apple-pye.

And what did you have for dinner, Polly Comb? Apple pie, answered the little girl. Then the next person in line shouted out a big "A," the next two said "p," and so on until the two words Apple and Pie were joined together, forming Apple-pie.

The next had Potatoes, the next Beef and Turnip which were spelt with many others, till the Game [36]of Spelling was finished. She then set them another Task, and we proceeded.

The next was Potatoes, the next Beef and Turnip which were spelled along with many others, until the Game [36] of Spelling was done. She then gave them another task, and we continued.

The next Place we came to was Farmer Thompson's, where there were a great many little ones waiting for her.

The next place we reached was Farmer Thompson's, where there were a lot of kids waiting for her.

So little Mrs. Goody Two-Shoes, says one of them, where have you been so long? I have been teaching, says she, longer than I intended, and am afraid I am come too soon for you now. No, but indeed you are not, replied the other; for I have got my Lesson, and so has Sally Dawson, and so has Harry Wilson, and so we have all; and they capered about as if they were overjoyed to see her. Why then, says she, you are all very good, and GOD Almighty will love you; so let us begin our Lessons. They all huddled round [37]her, and though at the other Place they were employed about Words and Syllables, here we had People of much greater Understanding who dealt only in Sentences.

So little Mrs. Goody Two-Shoes, one of them said, where have you been for so long? I’ve been teaching, she replied, longer than I planned, and I’m afraid I came back too soon for you now. No, you definitely didn’t, the other one said; I’ve got my lesson, and so has Sally Dawson, and so has Harry Wilson, and we all have; and they danced around as if they were thrilled to see her. Well then, she said, you’re all very good, and GOD Almighty will love you; so let’s start our lessons. They all crowded around [37] her, and although at the other place they were working on words and syllables, here we had people with much greater understanding who focused only on sentences.

The Letters being brought upon the Table, one of the little ones set up the following Sentence.

The letters were placed on the table, and one of the little ones wrote the following sentence.

The Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may be always good, and say my Prayers, and love the Lord my God with all my Heart, with all my Soul, and with all my Strength; and honour the King, and all good Men in Authority under him.

Lord, have mercy on me, and help me to always be good, say my prayers, and love my God with all my heart, all my soul, and all my strength; and honor the king and all the good people in authority under him.

Then the next took the Letters, and composed this Sentence.

Then the next person took the letters and formed this sentence.

Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may love my Neighbour as myself, and do unto all Men as I would have them do unto me, and tell no Lies; but be honest and just in all my Dealings.

Lord, have mercy on me, and help me love my neighbor as myself, treat everyone the way I want to be treated, and avoid lying; instead, let me be honest and fair in all my dealings.

The third composed the following Sentence.

The third wrote the following sentence.

The Lord have Mercy upon me, and grant that I may honour my Father and Mother, and love my Brothers and Sisters, Relations and Friends, and all my Playmates, and every Body, and endeavour to make them happy.

Lord, have mercy on me and help me to honor my father and mother, love my brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, all my playmates, and everyone else, and do my best to make them happy.

The fourth composed the following.

The fourth wrote the following.

I pray GOD to bless this whole Company, and all our Friends, and all our Enemies.

I pray GOD to bless this entire group, and all our friends, and all our enemies.

To this last Polly Sullen objected, and said, truly, she did not know why she should pray for her Enemies? Not pray for your Enemies, says Little Margery; yes, you must, you are no Christian, if you don't forgive your Enemies, and do Good for Evil. Polly still pouted; upon which Little Margery said, though she was [39]poor, and obliged to lie in a Barn, she would not keep Company with such a naughty, proud, perverse Girl as Polly; and was going away; however the Difference was made up, and she set them to compose the following

To this, Polly Sullen objected and said, honestly, she didn't see why she should pray for her enemies. "Not pray for your enemies?" said little Margery; "yes, you have to. You're not a true Christian if you don't forgive your enemies and do good for evil." Polly continued to sulk, which made little Margery say that even though she was [39]poor and had to sleep in a barn, she wouldn’t associate with a naughty, proud, contrary girl like Polly; and she started to leave. However, they worked things out, and she got them to write the following.


L E S S O N S

For  the  C  O  N   D  U  C  T   of   L I F E.

For the C O N D U C T of L I F E.

L  E  S   S  O  N    I.

L E S S O N I.

  He that will thrive,
  Must rise by Five.
  He that hath thriv'n,
  May lie till Seven.
  Truth may be blam'd,
  But cannot be sham'd.
  Tell me with whom you go;
  And I'll tell what you do.
[40]   A Friend in your Need,
  Is a Friend indeed.
  They ne'er can be wise,
  Who good Counsel despise.

He who wants to succeed,
  Must get up by Five.
  He who has succeeded,
  Can sleep until Seven.
  Truth may be criticized,
  But it can't be embarrassed.
  Tell me who you hang out with;
  And I'll tell you what you do.
[40]   A friend in your time of need,
  Is a true friend.
  They can never be wise,
  Who disregard good advice.

L  E  S   S  O  N    II.

L E S N II.

  A wise Head makes a close Mouth.
  Don't burn your Lips with another Man's Broth.
  Wit is Folly, unless a wise Man hath the keeping of it.
  Use soft Words and hard Arguments.
  Honey catches more Flies than Vinegar.
  To forget a Wrong is the best Revenge.
  Patience is a Plaister for all Sores.
  Where Pride goes, Shame will follow.
  When Vice enters the Room, Vengeance is near the Door.
[41]   Industry is Fortune's right Hand, and Frugality her left.
  Make much of Three-pence, or you ne'er will be worth a Groat.

A wise head keeps a tight mouth.
  Don't burn your lips on someone else's soup.
  Wit is foolishness unless a wise person is in charge of it.
  Use gentle words and solid arguments.
  Honey attracts more flies than vinegar.
  Forgetting a wrong is the best revenge.
  Patience is a bandage for all wounds.
  Where there's pride, shame will follow.
  When vice enters the room, vengeance is right at the door.
[41]   Hard work is fortune's right hand, and frugality is her left.
  Value every penny, or you'll never be worth anything.

L  E  S   S  O  N    III.

L E S S O N III.

  A Lie stands upon one Leg, but Truth upon two.
  When a Man talks much, believe but half what he says.
  Fair Words butter no Parsnips.
  Bad Company poisons the Mind.
  A covetous Man is never satisfied.
  Abundance, like Want, ruins many.
  Contentment is the best Fortune.
  A contented Mind is a continual Feast.

A lie stands on one leg, but the truth stands on two.
  When a person talks a lot, believe only half of what they say.
  Nice words don’t achieve anything.
  Bad company corrupts the mind.
  A greedy person is never satisfied.
  Having too much, just like having too little, ruins many.
  Contentment is the best wealth.
  A satisfied mind is a constant celebration.

A  L  E  S   S  O  N   in  Religion.

A L E S S O N in Religion.

  Love GOD, for he is good.
  Fear GOD, for he is just.
[42]   Pray to GOD, for all good Things come from him.
  Praise GOD, for great is his Mercy towards us, and wonderful are all his Works.
  Those who strive to be good, have GOD on their Side.
  Those who have GOD for their Friend, shall want nothing.
  Confess your Sins to GOD, and if you repent he will forgive you.
  Remember that all you do, is done in the Presence of GOD.
  The Time will come, my Friends, when we must give
  Account to GOD, how we on Earth did live.

Love God, for he is good.
  Fear God, for he is just.
[42]   Pray to God, for all good things come from him.
  Praise God, for great is his mercy towards us, and wonderful are all his works.
  Those who strive to be good have God on their side.
  Those who have God as their friend will lack nothing.
  Confess your sins to God, and if you repent, he will forgive you.
  Remember that everything you do is done in the presence of God.
  The time will come, my friends, when we must give
  account to God for how we lived on Earth.

A  Moral  L  E  S   S  O  N.

A Moral L E S S O N

  A good Boy will make a good Man.
  Honour your Parents, and the World will honour you.
[43]   Love your Friends, and your Friends will love you.
  He that swims in Sin, will sink in Sorrow.
  Learn to live, as you would wish to die.
    As you expect all Men should deal by you:
    So deal by them, and give each Man his Due.

A good boy grows into a good man.
  Honor your parents, and the world will honor you.
[43]   Love your friends, and they will love you back.
  Those who indulge in sin will drown in sorrow.
  Learn to live in a way you'd be proud to die.
    Treat others the way you want to be treated:
    So treat them fairly and give everyone what they deserve.

As we were returning Home, we saw a Gentleman, who was very ill, sitting under a shady Tree at the Corner of his Rookery. Though ill, he began to joke with Little Margery, and said, laughingly, so, Goody Two-Shoes, they tell me you are a cunning little Baggage; pray, can you tell me what I shall do to get well? Yes, Sir, says she, go to Bed when [44]your Rooks do. You see they are going to Rest already:

As we were heading home, we saw a man who was really sick, sitting under a shady tree at the edge of his place. Despite being unwell, he started joking with little Margery and said playfully, "So, Goody Two-Shoes, I've heard you're a clever little rascal; can you tell me what I should do to get better?" "Yes, sir," she replied, "go to bed when [44] your rooks do. You can see they're already heading to rest."

they are going to Rest

Do you so likewise, and get up with them in the morning; earn, as they do, every Day what you eat, and eat and drink no more than you earn; and you'll get Health and keep it. What should induce the Rooks to frequent Gentlemens Houses only, but to tell them how to lead a [45]prudent Life? They never build over Cottages or Farm-houses, because they see, that these People know how to live without their Admonition.

Do the same, and wake up with them in the morning; earn, like they do, what you eat every day, and only eat and drink as much as you earn; and you'll gain health and maintain it. What would make the rooks visit only the houses of the wealthy, if not to advise them on how to live a [45]prudent life? They never build over cottages or farmhouses because they see that those people know how to live without their guidance.

  Thus Health and Wit you may improve,
  Taught by the Tenants of the Grove.

  So you can enhance your health and wit,
  Learning from the residents of the grove.

The Gentleman laughing gave Margery Sixpence; and told her she was a sensible Hussey.

The gentleman laughed and gave Margery six pence, telling her she was a smart woman.





C  H  A  P.   VI.

How the whole Parish was frighted.

How the whole Parish was scared.

Who does not know Lady Ducklington, or who does not know that she was buried at this Parish Church?

Who doesn't know Lady Ducklington, or who isn't aware that she was buried at this Parish Church?

Parish Church

Well, I never saw so grand a Funeral in all my Life; but the Money they squandered away, would have been better laid out in little Books for Children, or in Meat, Drink, and Cloaths for the Poor.

Well, I’ve never seen such an extravagant funeral in my life; but the money they wasted would have been better spent on children's books, or on food, drink, and clothes for the poor.

Fine Hearse

This if a fine Hearse indeed, and the nodding Plumes on the Horses [47]look very grand; but what End does that answer, otherwise than to display the Pride of the Living, or the Vanity of the Dead. Fie upon such Folly, say I, and Heaven grant that those who want more Sense may have it.

This is quite a fine hearse, and the nodding plumes on the horses look very impressive; but what purpose does that serve, other than to show off the pride of the living or the vanity of the dead? I say, shame on such foolishness, and may heaven grant that those who lack sense may find it.

But all the Country round came to see the Burying, and it was late before the Corpse was interred. [48]After which, in the Night, or rather about Four o'Clock in the Morning, the Bells were heard to jingle in the Steeple, which frightened the People prodigiously, who all thought it was Lady Ducklington 's Ghost dancing among the Bell-ropes. The People flocked to Will Dobbins the Clerk, and wanted him to go and see what it was; but William said, he was sure it was a Ghost, and that he would not offer to open the Door. At length Mr. Long the Rector, hearing such an Uproar in the Village, went to the Clerk, to know why he did not go into the Church; and see who was there. I go, Sir, says William, why the Ghost would frighten me out of my Wits.--Mrs. Dobbins too cried, and laying hold of her Husband said, he should not be eat up by the Ghost. A Ghost, you Blockheads, says Mr. [49]Long in a Pet, did either of you ever see a Ghost, or know any Body that did? Yes, says the Clerk, my Father did once in the Shape of a Windmill, and it walked all round the Church in a white Sheet, with Jack Boots on, and had a Gun by its Side instead of a Sword. A fine Picture of a Ghost truly, says Mr. Long, give me the Key of the Church, you Monkey; for I tell you there is no such Thing now, whatever may have been formerly.--Then taking the Key, he went to the Church, all the people following him. As soon as he had opened the Door, what Sort of a Ghost do ye think appeared? Why Little Two-Shoes, who being weary, had fallen asleep in one of the Pews during the Funeral Service, and was shut in all Night. She immediately asked Mr. Long 's Pardon for the [50]Trouble she had given him, told him, she had been locked into the Church, and said, she should not have rung the Bells, but that she was very cold, and hearing Farmer Boult 's Man go whistling by with his Horses, she was in Hopes he would have went to the Clerk for the Key to let her out.

But everyone around came to see the burial, and it was late before the body was laid to rest. [48]Later that night, or rather around four in the morning, the bells in the steeple started jingling, which scared the people greatly, who all thought it was Lady Ducklington's ghost dancing among the bell ropes. The crowd gathered around Will Dobbins the clerk, urging him to check it out, but William insisted it was a ghost and refused to open the door. Eventually, Mr. Long the rector, hearing the commotion in the village, went to the clerk to ask why he hadn’t gone into the church to see who was there. "I would, Sir," said William, "but the ghost would scare me out of my wits." Mrs. Dobbins also cried out and grabbed her husband, saying he shouldn't be devoured by the ghost. "A ghost, you fools," said Mr. [49]Long angrily, "have either of you ever seen a ghost or known anyone who has?" "Yes," replied the clerk, "my father did once in the shape of a windmill, and it walked all around the church in a white sheet, wearing Jack boots, and had a gun by its side instead of a sword." "A lovely picture of a ghost," said Mr. Long, "give me the key to the church, you monkey; because I tell you there’s no such thing now, whatever may have been the case in the past." Then, taking the key, he went to the church, with all the people following him. As soon as he opened the door, what kind of ghost do you think appeared? It was little Two-Shoes, who, tired out, had fallen asleep in one of the pews during the funeral service and had been shut in all night. She immediately asked Mr. Long for forgiveness for the [50]trouble she’d caused him, explained that she had been locked in the church, and said she wouldn’t have rung the bells if she hadn't been so cold, and hearing Farmer Boult's man whistling by with his horses, she had hoped he would go to the clerk for the key to let her out.

Sleepy Two-Shoes




[51]

C  H  A  P.   VII.

Containing an Account of all the Spirits,
or Ghosts, she saw in the Church.

Featuring a description of all the spirits,
or ghosts, she encountered in the church.

The People were ashamed to ask Little Madge any Questions before Mr. Long, but as soon as he was gone, they all got round her to satisfy their Curiousity, and desired she would give them a particular Account of all that she had heard and seen.

The people felt embarrassed to ask Little Madge any questions in front of Mr. Long, but as soon as he left, they all gathered around her to satisfy their curiosity and asked her to give them a detailed account of everything she had heard and seen.

Her  T  A  L  E.

I went to the Church, said she, as most of you did last Night, to see the Burying, and being very weary, I sate me down in Mr. Jones's Pew, [52]and fell fast asleep. At Eleven of the Clock I awoke; which I believe was in some measure occasioned by the Clock's striking, for I heard it. I started up, and could not at first tell where I was; but after some Time I recollected the Funeral, and soon found that I was shut in the Church. It was dismal dark, and I could see nothing; but while I was standing in the Pew, something jumped up upon me behind, and laid, as I thought, its Hands over my Shoulders.----I own, I was a little afraid at first; however, I considered that I had always been constant at Prayers and at Church, and that I had done nobody any Harm, but had endeavoured to do what Good I could; and then, thought I, what have I to fear? yet I kneeled down to say my Prayers. As soon as I was on my Knees [53]something very cold, as cold as Marble, ay, as cold as Ice, touched my Neck, which made me start; however, I continued my Prayers, and having begged Protection from Almighty GOD, I found my Spirits come, and I was sensible that I had nothing to fear; for GOD Almighty protects not only all those who are good, but also all those who endeavour to be good.----Nothing can withstand the Power, and exceed the Goodness of GOD Almighty. Armed with the Confidence of his Protection, I walked down the Church Isle, when I heard something, pit pat, pit pat, pit pat, come after me, and something touched my Hand, which seemed as cold as a Marble Monument. I could not think what this was, yet I knew it could not hurt me, and therefore I made myself easy, but being very cold, and [54]the Church being paved with Stone, which was very damp, I felt my Way as well as I could to the Pulpit, in doing which something brushed by me, and almost threw me down. However I was not frightened, for I knew, that GOD Almighty would suffer nothing to hurt me.

I went to the church, she said, just like many of you did last night, to see the burial, and feeling really tired, I sat down in Mr. Jones's pew, [52] and quickly fell asleep. I woke up at eleven o'clock, which I think was partly because of the clock striking since I heard it. I jumped up and at first couldn't figure out where I was; but after a while, I remembered the funeral and realized I was locked in the church. It was really dark, and I couldn't see anything; but while I was standing in the pew, something jumped on me from behind and laid what I thought were its hands on my shoulders. I admit, I was a bit scared at first; however, I thought about how I had always been devoted to prayers and church, that I hadn't harmed anyone, and had tried to do as much good as I could; so then I thought, what do I have to fear? Still, I knelt down to say my prayers. As soon as I got on my knees, [53] something really cold, as cold as marble, maybe even as cold as ice, touched my neck, which startled me; however, I continued my prayers, and after asking for protection from Almighty GOD, I felt my spirits lift, and I was aware that I had nothing to fear; because Almighty GOD protects not only those who are good but also those who try to be good. Nothing can resist the power or exceed the goodness of Almighty GOD. With the confidence of His protection, I walked down the aisle of the church when I heard something, pit pat, pit pat, pit pat, chasing after me, and something touched my hand that felt as cold as a marble monument. I couldn't figure out what it was, but I knew it couldn’t hurt me, so I calmed myself down. However, since I was really cold and [54] the church was paved with damp stone, I felt my way to the pulpit as best as I could, during which something brushed past me and nearly knocked me over. Still, I wasn't scared because I knew that Almighty GOD wouldn’t let anything harm me.

At last, I found out the Pulpit, and having shut too the Door, I laid me down on the Mat and Cushion to sleep; when something thrust and pulled the Door, as I thought for Admittance, which prevented my going to sleep. At last it cries, Bow, wow, wow; and I concluded it must be Mr. Saunderson 's Dog, which had followed me from their House to Church, so I opened the Door, and called Snip, Snip, and the Dog jumped up upon me immediately. After this Snip and I lay down together, [55]and had a most comfortable Nap; for when I awoke again it was almost light. I then walked up and down all the Isles of the Church to keep myself warm; and though I went into the Vault, and trod on Lady Ducklington's Coffin, I saw no Ghost, and I believe it was owing to the Reason Mr. Long has given you, namely, that there is no such Thing to be seen. As to my Part, I would as soon lie all Night in the Church as in any other Place; and I am sure that any little Boy or Girl, who is good, and loves GOD Almighty, and keeps his Commandments, may as safely lie in the Church, or the Church-yard, as any where else, if they take Care not to get Cold; for I am sure there are no Ghosts, either to hurt, or to frighten them; though any one possessed of Fear [56]might have taken Neighbour Saunderson 's Dog with his cold Nose for a Ghost; and if they had not been undeceived, as I was, would never have thought otherwise. All the Company acknowledged the Justness of the Observation, and thanked Little Two-Shoes for her Advice.

At last, I found the pulpit, and after closing the door, I laid down on the mat and cushion to sleep. Just then, something started pushing and pulling the door, which I thought was someone wanting to come in, and it kept me from falling asleep. Finally, it barked, Bow, wow, wow; I figured it must be Mr. Saunderson’s dog that had followed me from their house to the church. So, I opened the door and called, Snip, Snip, and the dog jumped right up on me. After that, Snip and I lay down together, [55] and had a really comfortable nap; when I woke up again, it was almost light outside. I then walked up and down the aisles of the church to keep warm, and even went into the vault and stepped on Lady Ducklington's coffin. I didn’t see any ghosts, and I believe it’s because of the reason Mr. Long told you—that there’s no such thing as ghosts. For my part, I’d just as soon lie all night in the church as anywhere else, and I’m sure any little boy or girl who is good, loves GOD Almighty, and follows His commandments can safely lie in the church or the churchyard just like anywhere else, as long as they make sure not to get cold. I really believe there are no ghosts to harm or scare them; though someone who is scared [56] might mistake neighbor Saunderson’s dog with his cold nose for a ghost, and if they hadn’t been set straight like I was, they would never have thought otherwise. Everyone agreed with this observation and thanked Little Two-Shoes for her advice.

R  E  F   L  E  C  T   I  O  N.


After this, my dear Children, I hope you will not believe any foolish Stories that ignorant, weak, or designing People may tell you about Ghosts; for the Tales of Ghosts, Witches, and Fairies, are the Frolicks of a distempered Brain. No wise Man ever saw either of them. Little Margery you see was not afraid; no, she had good Sense, and a good Conscience, which is a Cure for all these imaginary Evils.

After this, my dear children, I hope you won't believe any silly stories that ignorant, weak, or scheming people might tell you about ghosts; because the tales of ghosts, witches, and fairies are just the tricks of a confused mind. No wise person has ever seen any of them. Little Margery, as you can see, was not afraid; no, she had common sense and a clear conscience, which cure all these imaginary fears.





[57]

C  H  A  P.   VIII.

Of something which happened to Little Two-Shoes
in a Barn, more dreadful than the Ghost in the Church;
and how she returned Good for Evil to her Enemy Sir
Timothy.

Of something that happened to Little Two-Shoes
in a Barn, even more terrible than the Ghost in the Church;
and how she responded to her Enemy Sir
Timothy with kindness despite the harm he did.

Farmer's Barn

Some Days after this a more dreadful Accident befel Little Madge. She happened to be coming late from teaching, when it rained, thundered, and lightened, and therefore she took Shelter in a Farmer's Barn [58]at a Distance from the Village. Soon after, the Tempest drove in four Thieves, who, not seeing such a little creep-mouse Girl as Two-Shoes, lay down on the Hay next to her, and began to talk over their Exploits, and to settle Plans for future Robberies. Little Margery on hearing them, covered herself with Straw. To be sure she was sadly frighted, but her good [59]Sense taught her, that the only Security she had was in keeping herself concealed; therefore she laid very still, and breathed very softly. About Four o'Clock these wicked People came to a Resolution to break both Sir William Dove's House, and Sir Timothy Gripe's, and by Force of Arms to carry off all their Money, Plate and Jewels; but as it was thought then too late, they agreed to defer it till the next Night. After laying this Scheme they all set out upon their Pranks, which greatly rejoiced Margery, as it would any other little Girl in her Situation. Early in the Morning she went to Sir William, and told him the whole of their Conversation. Upon which, he asked her Name, gave her Something, and bid her call at his House the Day following. She also went to Sir Timothy [60]notwithstanding he had used her so ill; for she knew it was her Duty to do Good for Evil. As soon as he was informed who she was, he took no Notice of her; upon which she desired to speak to Lady Gripe; and having informed her Ladyship of the Affair, she went her Way. This Lady had more Sense than her Husband, which indeed is not a singular Case; for instead of despising Little Margery and her Information, she privately set People to guard the House. The Robbers divided themselves, and went about the Time mentioned to both Houses, and were surprized by the Guards, and taken. Upon examining these Wretches, one of which turned Evidence, both Sir William and Sir Timothy found that they owed their Lives to the Discovery made by Little Margery, and the first took [61]great Notice of her, and would no longer let her lie in a Barn; but Sir Timothy only said, that he was ashamed to owe his Life to the Daughter of one who was his Enemy; so true it is, that a proud Man seldom forgives those he has injured.

A few days later, something even more terrifying happened to Little Madge. She was coming home late from teaching when it started to rain, thunder, and lightning, so she sought shelter in a farmer's barn [58] away from the village. Soon after, the storm drove in four thieves, who, not noticing such a tiny girl like Two-Shoes, lay down on the hay next to her and started discussing their crimes and planning future robberies. Little Margery heard them and covered herself with straw. She was indeed very frightened, but her common sense told her that her only safety lay in staying hidden; so she remained very still and breathed quietly. Around four o'clock, these criminals decided to break into both Sir William Dove's and Sir Timothy Gripe's houses, intending to armedly steal all their money, silver, and jewels; however, since it was too late, they agreed to postpone their plan until the next night. After formulating this scheme, they all went off to carry out their mischief, which made Margery very happy, just like any other little girl in her situation would be. Early the next morning, she went to Sir William and told him everything they had discussed. He asked for her name, gave her something, and told her to visit his house the following day. She also went to see Sir Timothy [60] despite how poorly he had treated her; she felt it was her duty to do good in return for evil. When he found out who she was, he ignored her; so she asked to speak to Lady Gripe; after informing her ladyship about the situation, she left. This lady was smarter than her husband, which isn't surprising; instead of looking down on Little Margery and her warning, she discreetly arranged for people to guard the house. The robbers split up and headed toward both houses at the appointed time, only to be caught by the guards. When these criminals were questioned, one of them turned state's evidence, and both Sir William and Sir Timothy realized that they owed their lives to Little Margery's information. Sir William took [61] great notice of her and would no longer let her sleep in a barn; but Sir Timothy merely said he was ashamed to owe his life to the daughter of someone he considered an enemy; it's true, that a proud man seldom forgives those he has wronged.





C  H  A  P.   IX.

How Little Margery was made Principal of a Country College.

How Little Margery became the Principal of a Country College.

Mrs. Williams, of whom I have given a particular Account in my New Year's Gift, and who kept a College for instructing little Gentlemen and Ladies in the Science of A, B, C, was at this Time very old and infirm, and wanted to decline that important Trust. This being told to Sir William Dove, who lived [62]in the Parish, he sent for Mrs. Williams, and desired she would examine Little Two-Shoes, and see whether she was qualified for the Office.----This was done, and Mrs. Williams made the following Report in her Favour, namely, that Little Margery was the best Scholar, and had the best Head, and the best Heart of any one she had examined. All the Country had a great Opinion of Mrs. Williams, and this Character gave them also a great Opinion of Mrs. Margery; for so we must now call her.

Mrs. Williams, whom I've specifically described in my New Year's Gift, and who ran a school for teaching young gentlemen and ladies the basics of reading and writing, was at this time very old and frail and wanted to step down from that important responsibility. When Sir William Dove, who lived [62] in the parish, heard this, he called for Mrs. Williams and asked her to assess Little Two-Shoes to see if she was suitable for the role. ---- This was done, and Mrs. Williams reported the following in her favor: that Little Margery was the best student, had the best mind, and the kindest heart of anyone she had evaluated. Everyone in the area held Mrs. Williams in high regard, and this endorsement also raised their opinion of Mrs. Margery; for so we shall now refer to her.

This Mrs. Margery thought the happiest Period of her Life; but more Happiness was in Store for her. GOD Almighty heaps up Blessings for all those who love him, and though for a Time he may suffer them to be poor and distressed, and hide his good Purposes from human Sight, yet in [63]the End they are generally crowned with Happiness here, and no one can doubt of their being so hereafter.

This Mrs. Margery thought it was the happiest time of her life, but even more happiness was ahead for her. GOD Almighty pours out blessings on all who love Him. Though He may allow them to experience poverty and distress for a time and keep His good plans hidden from human view, in the end, they are usually rewarded with happiness here, and no one can question that they will be so in the future.

On this Occasion the following Hymn, or rather a Translation of the twenty-third Psalm, is said to have been written, and was soon after published in the Spectator.

On this occasion, the following hymn, or rather a translation of the twenty-third Psalm, is said to have been written and was soon after published in the Spectator.

  I.

I.

  The Lord my Pasture shall prepare,
  And feed me with a Shepherd's Care:
  His Presence shall my Wants supply,
  And guard me with a watchful Eye;
  My Noon-day Walks he shall attend,
  And all my Midnight Hours defend.

The Lord, my shepherd, will take care of me,
  And nourish me with a shepherd's care:
  His presence will meet all my needs,
  And watch over me with a keen eye;
  He'll be there for my afternoon walks,
  And protect me during my midnight hours.

  II.

II.

  When in the sultry Glebe I faint,
  Or on the thirsty Mountain pant;
  To fertile Vales and dewy Meads,
  My weary wand'ring Steps he leads;
  Where peaceful Rivers, soft and slow,
  Amid the verdant Landskip flow.

When I'm feeling faint in the hot Glebe,
  Or panting on the dry Mountain;
  He guides my tired wandering Steps
  To fertile Valleys and dewy Meadows;
  Where peaceful Rivers, gentle and slow,
  Flow through the lush Landscape.

  III.

III.

  Tho' in the Paths of Death I tread,
  With gloomy Horrors overspread,
  My stedfast Heart shall fear no ill,
  For thou, O Lord, art with me still;
  Thy friendly Crook shall give me Aid,
  And guide me thro' the dreadful Shade.

Though I walk through the valley of death,
  With dark fears surrounding me,
  My steadfast heart will fear no harm,
  For you, O Lord, are still with me;
  Your comforting staff will help me,
  And guide me through the frightening shadows.

  IV.

IV.

  Tho' in a bare and rugged Way,
  Thro' devious lonely Wilds I stray,
  Thy Bounty shall my Pains beguile:
  The barren Wilderness shall smile,
  With sudden Greens & herbage crown'd,
  And Streams shall murmur all around.

Though I wander in a harsh and rugged way,
  Through winding, lonely wilderness, I stray,
  Your generosity will ease my pain:
  The barren wilderness will smile,
  With sudden greenery and crowned with plants,
  And streams will softly murmur all around.

Here ends the History of Little Two Shoes. Those who would know how she behaved after she came to be Mrs. Margery Two-Shoes must read the Second Part of this Work, in which an Account of the Remainder of her Life, her Marriage, and Death are set forth at large, according to Act of Parliament.

Here ends the History of Little Two Shoes. Those who want to know how she acted after she became Mrs. Margery Two-Shoes should read the Second Part of this Work, which provides a detailed account of the rest of her life, her marriage, and her death, as outlined by law.






[65]

The Renowned

H I S T O R Y

O F

Mrs. MARGERY   TWO-SHOES.


P  A  R T   II.

I  N  T  R  O   D  U  C  T   I  O  N.

I N T R O D U C T I O N.

In the first Part of this Work, the young Student has read, and I hope with Pleasure and Improvement, the History of this Lady, while she was known and distinguished by the Name of Little Two-Shoes; we are now come to a Period of her Life when that Name was discarded, and a more eminent one bestowed upon her, [66]I mean that of Mrs. Margery Two-Shoes: For as she was now President of the A, B, C College, it became necessary to exalt her in Title as well as in Place.

In the first part of this work, the young student has read, and I hope enjoyed and learned from, the story of this lady when she was known as Little Two-Shoes; we have now reached a time in her life when that name was dropped, and a more notable one was given to her, [66] which is Mrs. Margery Two-Shoes: Since she was now the President of the A, B, C College, it was necessary to elevate her title as well as her position.

No sooner was she settled in this Office, but she laid every possible Scheme to promote the Welfare and Happiness of all her Neighbours, and especially of the Little Ones, in whom she took great Delight, and all those whose Parents could not afford to pay for their Education, she taught for nothing, but the Pleasure she had in their Company, for you are to observe, that they were very good, or were soon made so by her good Management.

No sooner did she get settled in this office than she started devising every possible plan to enhance the well-being and happiness of all her neighbors, especially the little ones, who she delighted in. For those whose parents couldn’t afford their education, she taught them for free, simply for the joy of their company. You should note that they were very well-behaved, or quickly became so, thanks to her effective management.





C  H  A  P.   I.

Of her School, her Ushers, or Assistants, and her Manner of Teaching.

About her School, her Teachers, or Assistants, and her Teaching Style.

We have already informed the Reader, that the School where she taught, was that which was before kept by Mrs. Williams, whose Character you may find in my New Year's Gift. The Room was large, and as she knew, that Nature intended Children should be always in Action, she placed her different Letters, or Alphabets, all round the School, so that every one was obliged to get up to fetch a Letter, or to spell a Word, when it came to their Turn; which not only kept them in Health, but fixed the Letters and Points firmly in their Minds.

We’ve already let the reader know that the school where she taught used to be run by Mrs. Williams, whose character you can find in my New Year's Gift. The room was spacious, and knowing that nature intended for children to be active, she placed different letters or alphabets around the room, so everyone had to get up to grab a letter or spell a word when it was their turn. This not only kept them healthy but also helped them remember the letters and punctuation marks more firmly.

She had the following Assistants or Ushers to help her, and I will tell you how she came by them. Mrs. Margery, you must know, was very humane and compassionate; and her Tenderness extended not only to all Mankind, but even to all Animals that were not noxious; as your's ought to do, if you would be happy here, and go to Heaven hereafter. These are GOD Almighty's Creatures as well as we. He made both them and us; and for wise Purposes, best known to himself, placed them in this World to live among us; so that they are our fellow Tenants of the Globe. How then can People dare to torture and wantonly destroy GOD Almighty's Creatures? They as well as you are capable of feeling Pain, and of receiving Pleasure, and how can you, who want to be made [69]happy yourself, delight in making your fellow Creatures miserable? Do you think the poor Birds, whose Nest and young ones that wicked Boy Dick Wilson ran away with Yesterday, do not feel as much Pain, as your Father and Mother would have felt, had any one pulled down their House and ran away with you? To be sure they do. Mrs. Two-Shoes used to speak of those Things, and of naughty Boys throwing at Cocks, torturing Flies, and whipping Horses and Dogs, with Tears in her Eyes, and would never suffer any one to come to her School who did so.

She had the following assistants or ushers to help her, and I’ll tell you how she got them. Mrs. Margery, you should know, was very kind and compassionate; her kindness extended not only to all people but also to all harmless animals; as it should for you if you want to be happy here and go to heaven later. These are GOD Almighty's creatures just like us. He created both them and us; and for reasons only known to Him, placed them in this world to live among us; so they are our fellow tenants of the Earth. How can people dare to hurt and carelessly destroy GOD Almighty's creatures? They, just like you, can feel pain and experience pleasure, and how can you, who want to be made [69]happy, take delight in making your fellow creatures miserable? Do you think the poor birds, whose nest and young ones that cruel boy Dick Wilson took yesterday, don’t feel as much pain as your father and mother would have felt if someone tore down their home and took you away? Of course they do. Mrs. Two-Shoes used to talk about those things, and about naughty boys throwing at roosters, torturing flies, and whipping horses and dogs, with tears in her eyes, and would never allow anyone who did that to come to her school.

One Day, as she was going through the next Village, she met with some wicked Boys who had got a young Raven, which they were going to throw at, she wanted to get the poor Creature out of their cruel Hands,[70] and therefore gave them a Penny for him, and brought him home. She called his Name Ralph, and a fine Bird he is. Do look at him and remember what Solomon says, The Eye that despiseth his Father, and regardeth not the Distress of his Mother, the Ravens of the Valley shall peck it out, and the young Eagles eat it. Now this Bird she taught to speak, to spell and to read; and as he was particularly fond of [71]playing with the large Letters, the Children used to call this Ralph's Alphabet.

One day, while she was passing through the next village, she encountered some mean boys who had caught a young raven that they were going to throw around. She wanted to rescue the poor creature from their cruel hands, so she gave them a penny for it and took it home. She named him Ralph, and he turned out to be a fine bird. Look at him and remember what Solomon says: The eye that despises its father and ignores the distress of its mother, the ravens of the valley shall peck it out, and the young eagles shall eat it. She taught this bird to speak, spell, and read, and since he particularly enjoyed [71] playing with the large letters, the children used to call it Ralph's Alphabet.

A   B   C   D   E   F   G   H   I   J   K   L   M
N   O   P   Q   R   S   T   U   V   W   X   Y   Z.

He always sat at her Elbow, as you see in the first Picture, and when any of the Children were wrong, she used to call out, Put them right Ralph.

He always sat next to her, like you see in the first picture, and when any of the kids were misbehaving, she would call out, Put them right, Ralph.

Ralph the Raven

Some Days after she had met with the Raven, as she was walking in the Fields, she saw some naughty Boys, who had taken a Pidgeon, and tied a String to its Leg, in order to let it fly, and draw it back again when they pleased; and by this Means they tortured the poor Animal with the Hopes of Liberty and repeated Disappointment. This Pidgeon she also bought, and taught him how to spell and read, though not to talk, and he performed all those [72]extraordinary Things which are recorded of the famous Bird, that was some Time since advertised in the Haymarket, and visited by most of the great People in the Kingdom. This Pidgeon was a very pretty Fellow, and she called him Tom. See here he is.

Some days after she met the Raven, while she was walking in the fields, she saw some mischievous boys who had caught a pigeon and tied a string to its leg to let it fly and pull it back whenever they wanted. They tortured the poor animal with hopes of freedom followed by repeated disappointment. She bought this pigeon and taught it how to spell and read, though not to talk, and it performed all those [72] extraordinary things that are recorded about the famous bird that was once advertised in the Haymarket and visited by many of the great people in the kingdom. This pigeon was a very handsome fellow, and she named him Tom. Here he is.

Tom the Pidgeon

And as the Raven Ralph was fond of the large Letters, Tom the Pidgeon took Care of the small ones, of which he composed this Alphabet.

And since the Raven Ralph liked the capital letters, Tom the Pigeon took care of the lowercase ones, creating this alphabet.

a   b   c   d   e   f   g   h   i   j   k   l   m
n   o   p   q   r   s   t   u   v   w   x   y   z.

The Neighbours knowing that Mrs. Two Shoes was very good, as to be sure nobody was better, made her a Present of a little Sky-lark, and a fine Bird he is.

The neighbors, knowing that Mrs. Two Shoes was really great—no one could say otherwise—gave her a gift of a little skylark, and what a fine bird he is.

Sky-lark

Now as many People, even at that Time had learned to lie in Bed long in the Morning, she thought the Lark might be of Use to her and her Pupils, and tell them when to get up.

Now, as many people had learned to sleep in late in the morning, she thought the lark could be helpful for her and her students by telling them when to get up.

For be that is fond of his Bed, and lays 'till Noon, lives but half his Days, the rest being lost in Sleep, which is a Kind of Death.

For someone who loves to stay in bed and sleeps until noon lives only half their days, as the rest is wasted in sleep, which is a sort of death.

Some Time after this a poor Lamb had lost its Dam, and the Farmer being about to kill it, she bought it of him, and brought it home with her to play with the Children, and teach them when to go to Bed; for it was a Rule with the wise Men of that Age (and a very good one, let me tell you) to

Some time later, a poor lamb had lost its mother, and the farmer was about to kill it. She bought it from him and brought it home to play with the kids and teach them when to go to bed. It was a rule among the wise people of that time (and a really good one, let me tell you) to

  Rise with the Lark, and lie down with the Lamb.

  Wake up with the birds, and go to sleep with the sheep.

This Lamb she called Will, and a pretty Fellow he is; do, look at him.

This lamb she called Will, and he's such a cute little guy; come, take a look at him.

Will the Lamb

No sooner was Tippy the Lark and Will the Ba-lamb brought into the School, but that sensible Rogue Ralph, the Raven, composed the [76]following Verse, which every little good Boy and Girl should get by Heart.

No sooner were Tippy the Lark and Will the Ba-lamb brought into the School than that clever trickster Ralph, the Raven, came up with the [76]following verse, which every little good boy and girl should memorize.

  Early to Bed, and early to rise;
  Is the Way to be healthy, and wealthy, and wise
.

  Going to bed early and getting up early;
  Is the way to be healthy, wealthy, and smart.

A sly Rogue; but it is true enough; for those who do not go to Bed early cannot rise early; and those who do not rise early cannot do much Business. Pray, let this be told at the Court, and to People who have Routs and Rackets.

A cunning rogue; but it's true enough; because those who don’t go to bed early can’t get up early; and those who don’t get up early can’t accomplish much. Please share this at the court and with people who have parties and distractions.

Soon after this, a Present was made to Mrs. Margery of little Dog Jumper, and a pretty Dog he is. Pray, look at him.

Soon after this, Mrs. Margery received a gift of a little dog named Jumper, and he’s such a cute dog. Please, take a look at him.

Jumper the Dog

Jumper, Jumper, Jumper! He is always in a good Humour, and playing and jumping about, and therefore he was called Jumper. The Place assigned for Jumper was that of keeping the Door, so that he may be called the Porter of the College, for he would let nobody go out, or any one come in, without the Leave of his Mistress. See how he sits, a saucy Rogue.

Jumper, Jumper, Jumper! He's always in a good mood, playing and jumping around, which is why he was called Jumper. His job at the College was to guard the door, making him like the doorman, since he wouldn’t let anyone in or out without his Mistress's permission. Look at him sitting there, such a cheeky little rascal.

Billy the Ba-lamb was a chearful Fellow, and all the Children were fond of him, wherefore Mrs. Two-Shoes made it a Rule, that those who behaved best should have Will home with them at Night to carry their Satchel or Basket at his Back, and bring it in the Morning. See what a fine Fellow he is, and how he trudges along.

Billy the Ba-lamb was a cheerful guy, and all the kids loved him, so Mrs. Two-Shoes decided that those who behaved the best could take Will home with them at night to carry their bag or basket on his back and bring it back in the morning. Check out what a great guy he is and how he walks along.





C  H  A  P.   II.

A Scene of Distress in the School.

A Scene of Distress in the School.

the Pidgeon rode on the his head

It happened one Day, when Mrs. Two-Shoes was diverting the Children after Dinner, as she usually did with some innocent Games, or entertaining and instructive Stories, that a Man arrived with the melancholy News of Sally Jones's Father being [79]thrown from his Horse, and thought past all Recovery; nay, the Messenger said, that he was seemingly dying, when he came away. Poor Sally was greatly distressed, as indeed were all the School, for she dearly loved her Father, and Mrs. Two-Shoes, and all the Children dearly loved her. It is generally said, that we never know the real Value of our Parents or Friends till we have lost them; but poor Sally felt this by Affection, and her Mistress knew it by Experience. All the School were in Tears, and the Messenger was obliged to return; but before he went, Mrs. Two-Shoes, unknown to the Children, ordered Tom Pidgeon to go home with the Man, and bring a Letter to inform her how Mr. Jones did. They set out together, [80]and the Pidgeon rode on the Man's Head, (as you see here) for the Man was able to carry the Pidgeon, though the Pidgeon was not able to carry the Man, if he had, they would have been there much sooner, for Tom Pidgeon was very good, and never staid on an Errand.

It happened one day when Mrs. Two-Shoes was keeping the kids entertained after dinner, as she usually did with some fun games or engaging stories, that a man arrived with the sad news that Sally Jones's father had been thrown from his horse and was thought to be beyond recovery; in fact, the messenger said he was seemingly dying when he left. Poor Sally was really upset, and so was the whole school, because she loved her father dearly, and Mrs. Two-Shoes and all the kids loved her just as much. It’s often said that we don’t realize how much our parents or friends mean to us until we lose them; but poor Sally felt this through love, while her mistress understood it through experience. Everyone in the school was in tears, and the messenger had to go back; but before he left, Mrs. Two-Shoes, without the children knowing, told Tom Pidgeon to go home with the man and bring back a letter to let her know how Mr. Jones was doing. They set out together, [80] and the Pidgeon rode on the man’s head (as you can see here) because the man was able to carry the Pidgeon, but the Pidgeon couldn't carry the man; if he could have, they would have arrived much sooner, since Tom Pidgeon was very reliable and never dawdled on an errand.

Soon after the Man was gone the [81]Pidgeon was lost, and the Concern the Children were under for Mr. Jones and little Sally was in some Measure diverted, and Part of their Attention turned after Tom, who was a great Favourite, and consequently much bewailed. Mrs. Margery, who knew the great Use and Necessity of teaching Children to submit chearfully to the Will of Providence, bid them wipe away their Tears, and then kissing Sally, you must be a good Girl, says she, and depend upon GOD Almighty for his Blessing and Protection; for he is a Father to the Fatherless, and defendeth all those who put their Trust in him. She then told them a Story, which I shall relate in as few Words as possible.

Soon after the Man left, the [81]Pigeon was lost, and the Concern the Children felt for Mr. Jones and little Sally was somewhat shifted, with part of their Attention turning to Tom, who was a great Favorite and was dearly missed. Mrs. Margery, who understood the importance of teaching Children to accept the Will of Providence cheerfully, told them to wipe away their Tears, and then, kissing Sally, she said, "You must be a good Girl, and trust GOD Almighty for his Blessing and Protection; for he is a Father to the Fatherless, and defends all those who put their Trust in him." She then told them a Story, which I will relate in as few Words as possible.

The History of Mr. Lovewell, Father to Lady Lucy.

The History of Mr. Lovewell, Father to Lady Lucy.

Mr. Lovewell was born at Bath, and apprenticed to a laborious Trade in London, which being too hard for him, he parted with his Master by Consent, and hired himself as a common Servant to a Merchant in the City. Here he spent his leisure Hours not as Servants too frequently do, in Drinking and Schemes of Pleasure, but in improving his Mind; and among other Acquirements, he made himself a complete Master of Accompts. His Sobriety, Honesty, and the Regard he paid to his Master's Interest, greatly recommended him in the whole Family, and he had several Offices of Trust committed to his Charge, in which he [83]acquitted himself so well, that the Merchant removed him from the Stable into the Counting-house.

Mr. Lovewell was born in Bath and apprenticed to a demanding trade in London. Since it was too tough for him, he left his master by agreement and took a job as a regular servant for a merchant in the city. Instead of spending his free time like many servants do, drinking and chasing after fun, he focused on self-improvement. Among other skills, he became proficient in accounting. His sobriety, honesty, and dedication to his master's interests earned him a great reputation within the family, and he was given several trusted responsibilities. He managed those so well that the merchant promoted him from the stables to the counting house.

Here he soon made himself Master of the Business, and became so useful to the Merchant, that in regard to his faithful Services, and the Affection he had for him, he married him to his own Niece, a prudent agreeable young Lady; and gave him a Share in the Business. See what Honesty and Industry will do for us. Half the great Men in London, I am told, have made themselves by this Means, and who would but be honest and industrious, when it is so much our Interest and our Duty.

Here, he quickly took control of the business and became so valuable to the merchant that, out of appreciation for his loyalty and the affection he had for him, he married him to his own niece, a smart and charming young woman, and gave him a share in the business. Look at what honesty and hard work can achieve for us. I've heard that half the successful people in London have built their fortunes this way, and who wouldn't want to be honest and hardworking when it's in our best interest and our responsibility?

After some Years the Merchant died, and left Mr. Lovewell possessed of many fine Ships at Sea, and much Money, and he was happy in a Wife, who had brought him a Son and two [84]Daughters, all dutiful and obedient. The Treasures and good Things, however, of this Life are so uncertain, that a Man can never be happy, unless he lays the Foundation for it in his own Mind. So true is that Copy in our Writing Books, which tells us, that a contented Mind is a continual Feast.

After some years, the merchant passed away and left Mr. Lovewell with many fine ships at sea and a lot of money. He was happy with a wife who had given him a son and two [84] daughters, all of whom were dutiful and obedient. However, the treasures and good things of this life are so uncertain that a person can never truly be happy unless they build that happiness in their own mind. It's so true what we learn in our writing books that a contented mind is a continual feast.

After some Years successful Trade, he thought his Circumstances sufficient to insure his own Ships, or, in other Words, to send his Ships and Goods to Sea without being insured by others, as is customary among Merchants; when, unfortunately for him, four of them richly laden were lost at Sea. This he supported with becoming Resolution; but the next Mail brought him Advice, that nine others were taken by the French, with whom we were then at War; and this, [85]together with the Failure of three foreign Merchants whom he had trusted, compleated his Ruin. He was then obliged to call his Creditors together, who took his Effects, and being angry with him for the imprudent Step of not insuring his Ships, left him destitute of all Subsistence. Nor did the Flatterers of his Fortune, those who had lived by his Bounty when in his Prosperity, pay the least Regard either to him or his Family. So true is another Copy, that you will find in your Writing Book, which says, Misfortune tries our Friends. All these Slights of his pretended Friends, and the ill Usage of his Creditors, both he and his Family bore with Christian Fortitude; but other Calamities fell upon him, which he felt more sensibly.

After several years of successful trading, he believed his situation was stable enough to insure his own ships, or in other words, to send his ships and goods to sea without the usual insurance from others. Unfortunately for him, four of his heavily loaded ships were lost at sea. He handled this with composure, but the next mail brought news that nine more ships had been captured by the French, with whom we were then at war. This, [85] along with the failure of three foreign merchants he had trusted, completed his ruin. He was then forced to gather his creditors, who took his belongings, and being upset with him for the foolish decision not to insure his ships, left him without any means to support himself. The flatterers who had benefited from his generosity during his prosperous times paid no attention to him or his family. Truly, another saying you’ll find in your notebook is correct: Misfortune tries our friends. Both he and his family endured the disdain from his so-called friends and the mistreatment from his creditors with Christian strength, but other misfortunes struck him that he felt even more intensely.

In his Distress, one of his [86]Relations, who lived at Florence, offered to take his Son; and another, who lived at Barbadoes, sent for one of his Daughters. The Ship which his Son sailed in was cast away, and all the Crew supposed to be lost; and the Ship, in which his Daughter went a Passenger, was taken by Pyrates, and one Post brought the miserable Father an Account of the Loss of his two Children. This was the severest Stroke of all: It made him compleatly wretched, and he knew it must have a dreadful Effect on his Wife and Daughter; he therefore endeavoured to conceal it from them. But the perpetual Anxiety he was in, together with the Loss of his Appetite and Want of Rest, soon alarmed his Wife. She found something was labouring in his Breast, which was concealed from her; and one [87]Night being disturbed in a Dream, with what was ever in his Thoughts, and calling out upon his dear Children; she awoke him, and insisted upon knowing the Cause of his Inquietude. Nothing, my Dear, nothing, says he, The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the Name of the Lord. This was sufficient to alarm the poor Woman; she lay till his Spirits were composed, and as she thought asleep, then stealing out of Bed, got the Keys and opened his Bureau, where she found the fatal Account. In the Height of her Distractions, she flew to her Daughter's Room, and waking her with her Shrieks, put the Letters into her Hands. The young Lady, unable to support this Load of Misery, fell into a Fit, from which it was thought she never could have been recovered. [88]However, at last she revived; but the Shock was so great, that it entirely deprived her of her Speech.

In his distress, one of his [86]relatives, who lived in Florence, offered to take his son, and another relative, living in Barbados, asked for one of his daughters. The ship his son was on sank, and all the crew was thought to be lost; the ship that his daughter was a passenger on was captured by pirates, and one letter brought the miserable father news of the loss of both his children. This was the hardest blow of all: it left him completely devastated, and he knew it would have a terrible effect on his wife and daughter, so he tried to hide it from them. But the constant anxiety he felt, combined with a loss of appetite and lack of sleep, soon worried his wife. She sensed something was bothering him, which he was hiding from her, and one [87]night, disturbed by a dream filled with thoughts of his dear children, he called out in his sleep. She woke him and insisted on knowing what was troubling him. Nothing, my dear, nothing, he said, The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord. This was enough to alarm the poor woman; she lay there until he seemed calm, and thinking he was asleep, she quietly got out of bed, found the keys, and opened his bureau, where she discovered the heartbreaking news. Overwhelmed, she rushed to her daughter's room and, waking her with her cries, handed her the letters. The young woman, unable to bear such a heavy burden of grief, collapsed into a fit, from which it seemed she would never recover. [88]However, she eventually came to, but the shock was so intense that it completely robbed her of speech.

Thus loaded with Misery, and unable to bear the Slights and Disdain of those who had formerly professed themselves Friends, this unhappy Family retired into a Country, where they were unknown, in order to hide themselves from the World; when, to support their Independency, the Father laboured as well as he could at Husbandry, and the Mother and Daughter sometimes got spinning and knitting Work, to help to furnish the Means of Subsistence; which however was so precarious and uncertain, that they often, for many Weeks together, lived on nothing but Cabbage and Bread boiled in Water. But GOD never forsaketh the Righteous, nor suffereth those to [89]perish who put their Trust in him. At this Time a Lady, who was just come to England, sent to take a pleasant Seat ready furnished in that Neighbourhood, and the Person who was employed for the Purpose, was ordered to deliver a Bank Note of an hundred Pounds to Mr. Lovewell, another hundred to his Wife, and fifty to the Daughter, desiring them to take Possession of the House, and get it well aired against she came down, which would be in two or three Days at most. This, to People who were almost starving, was a sweet and seasonable Relief, and they were all sollicitous to know their Benefactress, but of that the Messenger himself was too ignorant to inform them. However, she came down sooner than was expected, and with Tears embraced them again and [90]again: After which she told the Father and Mother she had heard from their Daughter, who was her Acquaintance, and that she was well and on her Return to England. This was the agreeable Subject of their Conversation till after Dinner, when drinking their Healths, she again with Tears saluted them, and falling upon her Knees asked their Blessings.

Thus burdened with misery and unable to endure the insults and disdain of those who had once called themselves friends, this unfortunate family withdrew to a countryside where they were unknown, hoping to escape the world. To sustain their independence, the father worked as best he could in farming, while the mother and daughter occasionally took on spinning and knitting jobs to help provide for their survival. However, their situation was so precarious and uncertain that they often lived for many weeks on nothing but boiled cabbage and bread. But God never abandons the righteous nor allows those who trust in Him to perish. At that time, a lady who had just arrived in England sought out a furnished home in that neighborhood. The person assigned to help her was instructed to give a banknote of a hundred pounds to Mr. Lovewell, another hundred to his wife, and fifty to the daughter, urging them to take possession of the house and air it out before she arrived, which would be in two or three days at most. To people who were nearly starving, this was a sweet and timely relief, and they were all eager to meet their benefactor, although the messenger himself knew too little to inform them. However, she arrived sooner than expected and embraced them repeatedly with tears of joy. Afterward, she told the father and mother that she had heard from their daughter, who was her acquaintance, and that she was well and on her way back to England. This was the pleasant topic of their conversation until after dinner, when, raising a toast to their health, she again tearfully saluted them and knelt down, asking for their blessings.

falling upon her Knees and asked their blessings

Tis impossible to express the mutual [91]Joy which this occasioned. Their Conversation was made up of the most endearing Expressions, intermingled with Tears and Caresses. Their Torrent of Joy, however, was for a Moment interrupted, by a Chariot which stopped at the Gate, and which brought as they thought a very unseasonable Visitor, and therefore she sent to be excused from seeing Company.

It's impossible to describe the shared [91]joy that this brought about. Their conversation was filled with the most affectionate words, mixed with tears and hugs. However, their flood of joy was momentarily interrupted by a carriage that stopped at the gate, which they thought brought an unwelcome visitor. So, she asked to be excused from seeing anyone.

Chariot

But this had no Effect, for a Gentleman richly dressed jumped out of the Chariot, and pursuing the Servant into the Parlour saluted them round, who were all astonished at his Behaviour. But when the Tears trickled from his Cheeks, the Daughter, who had been some Years dumb, immediately cried out, my Brother! my Brother! my Brother! and from that Instant recovered her Speech. The mutual Joy which this occasioned, is better felt than expressed. Those who have proper Sentiments of Humanity, Gratitude, and filial Piety will rejoice at the Event, and those who have a proper Idea of the Goodness of GOD, and his gracious Providence, will from this, as well as other Instances of his Goodness and Mercy, glorify his holy Name, and magnify his Wisdom and Power, who is a [93]Shield to the Righteous, and defendeth all those who put their Trust in him.

But this had no effect, as a well-dressed gentleman jumped out of the carriage and chased the servant into the parlor, greeting everyone there, who were all surprised by his behavior. But when tears streamed down his cheeks, the daughter, who had been mute for several years, immediately cried out, my brother! my brother! my brother! and at that moment, she regained her speech. The joy that followed is better felt than described. Those who understand true humanity, gratitude, and family loyalty will rejoice at this event, and those who grasp the goodness of God and his gracious providence will, from this and other examples of his goodness and mercy, glorify his holy name and acknowledge his wisdom and power, who is a [93] shield to the righteous and protects all those who trust in him.

As you, my dear Children, may be sollicitous to know how this happy Event was brought about, I must inform you, that Mr. Lovewell 's Son, when the Ship foundered, had with some others got into the long Boat, and was taken up by a Ship at Sea, and carried to the East Indies, where in a little Time he made a large Fortune; and the Pirates who took his Daughter, attempted to rob her of her Chastity; but finding her Inflexible, and determined to die rather than to submit, some of them behaved to her in a very cruel Manner; but others, who had more Honour and Generosity, became her Defenders; upon which a Quarrel arose between them, and the Captain, who was the worst [94]of the Gang, being killed, the rest of the Crew carried the Ship into a Port of the Manilla Islands, belonging to the Spaniards; where, when her Story was known, she was treated with great Respect, and courted by a young Gentleman, who was taken ill of a Fever, and died before the Marriage was agreed on, but left her his whole Fortune.

As you, my dear children, might be curious about how this happy event happened, I need to tell you that Mr. Lovewell's son, when the ship sank, managed to get into the lifeboat with some others and was rescued by another ship at sea. He was taken to the East Indies, where he quickly made a large fortune. The pirates who captured his daughter tried to force her to give up her virtue, but finding her steadfast and willing to die rather than submit, some treated her very cruelly. However, others, who had more honor and decency, defended her, leading to a conflict among the pirates. The captain, who was the worst of the gang, was killed, and the rest of the crew took the ship to a port in the Manilla Islands, which belonged to the Spaniards. Once her story was known there, she was treated with great respect and pursued by a young man, who fell ill with a fever and died before they could arrange the marriage, but left her his entire fortune.

You see, my dear Sally, how wonderfully these People were preserved, and made happy after such extreme Distress; we are therefore never to despair, even under the greatest Misfortunes, for GOD Almighty is All-powerful and can deliver us at any Time. Remember Job, but I think you have not read so far, take the Bible, Billy Jones, and read the History of that good and patient Man. At this Instant something was heard to [95]flap at the Window, Wow, wow, wow, says Jumper, and attempted to leap up and open the Door, at which the Children were surprized; but Mrs. Margery knowing what it was, opened the Casement, as Noah did the Window of the Ark, and drew in Tom Pidgeon with a Letter, and see here he is.

You see, my dear Sally, how wonderfully these people were preserved and made happy after such extreme distress; we should never lose hope, even in the face of the greatest misfortunes, for God Almighty is all-powerful and can save us at any moment. Remember Job, though I think you haven't read that far—pick up the Bible, Billy Jones, and read the story of that good and patient man. At this moment, something was heard to [95] flap at the window. “Wow, wow, wow,” says Jumper, and he tried to jump up and open the door, surprising the children. But Mrs. Margery, knowing what it was, opened the window like Noah did with the Ark, and brought in Tom Pidgeon with a letter, and here he is.

Tom Pidgeon with a Letter

As soon as he was placed on the Table, he walked up to little Sally, [96]and dropping the Letter, cried, Co, Co, Coo, as much as to say, there read it. Now this poor Pidgeon had travelled fifty Miles in about an Hour, to bring Sally this Letter, and who would destroy such pretty Creatures.----But let us read the Letter.

As soon as he was put on the table, he walked over to little Sally, [96] and dropping the letter, exclaimed, Co, Co, Coo, as if to say, here, read this. Now this poor pigeon had traveled fifty miles in about an hour to bring Sally this letter, and who would harm such beautiful creatures? ---- But let’s read the letter.

    My dear Sally,

    Dear Sally,

G
OD
Almighty has been very merciful, and restored your Pappa to us again, who is now so well as to be able to sit up. I hear you are a good Girl, my Dear, and I hope you will never forget to praise the Lord for this his great Goodness and Mercy to us--What a sad Thing it would have been if your Father had died, and left both you and me, and little
Tommy
in Distress, and without a Friend: Your Father sends his Blessing
with mine--Be good, my dear Child, and G
OD
Almighty will also bless you, whose Blessing is above all Things.


    I am, my Dear Sally,

    I am, my dear Sally,

        Your ever affectionate Mother,

Your loving Mom,

                  M A R T H A  J O N E S.

M A R T H A J O N E S.





C  H  A  P.   III.

Of the amazing Sagacity and Instincts of a little Dog.

About the incredible intelligence and instincts of a small dog.

Soon after this, a dreadful Accident happened in the School. It was on a Thursday Morning, I very well remember, when the Children having learned their Lessons soon, she had given them Leave to [98]play, and they were all running about the School, and diverting themselves with the Birds and the Lamb; at this Time the Dog, all of a sudden, laid hold of his Mistress's Apron, and endeavoured to pull her out of the School. She was at first surprized, however, she followed him to see what he intended. No sooner had he led her into the Garden, but he ran back, and pulled out one of the Children in the same manner; upon which she ordered them all to leave the School immediately, and they had not been out five Minutes, before the Top of the House fell in. What a miraculous Deliverance was here! How gracious! How good was GOD Almighty, to save all these Children from Destruction, and to make Use of such an Instrument, as a little sagacious Animal to accomplish [99]his Divine Will. I should have observed, that as soon as they were all in the Garden, the Dog came leaping round them to express his Joy, and when the House was fallen, laid himself down quietly by his Mistress.

Soon after this, a terrible accident occurred at the school. It was on a Thursday morning, and I remember it well. The children had finished their lessons quickly, so she let them go out to [98]play, and they were all running around the school, enjoying themselves with the birds and the lamb. At that moment, the dog suddenly grabbed his owner's apron and tried to pull her out of the school. She was initially surprised but followed him to see what he was up to. As soon as he led her into the garden, he ran back and pulled out one of the children in the same way. She then ordered everyone to leave the school immediately, and they hadn’t been outside for five minutes before the top of the house collapsed. What a miraculous escape! How gracious! How good was GOD Almighty to save all these children from destruction and to use such an instrument as a clever little animal to fulfill [99]his divine will. I should mention that as soon as they were all in the garden, the dog jumped around them to show his joy, and when the house fell, he lay down calmly by his owner.

Some of the Neighbours, who saw the School fall, and who were in great Pain for Margery and the little ones, soon spread the News through the Village, and all the Parents, terrified for their Children, came crowding in Abundance; they had, however, the Satisfaction to find them all safe, and upon their Knees, with their Mistress, giving GOD thanks for their happy Deliverance.

Some of the neighbors who saw the school collapse and were really worried about Margery and the little ones quickly spread the news throughout the village. All the parents, frightened for their children, rushed in large numbers. However, they were relieved to find them all safe, kneeling with their teacher, giving thanks to God for their safe escape.

A D V I C E  from the M A N in the M O O N.

A D V I C E from the M A N in the M O O N.

Jumper, Jumper, Jumper, what a pretty Dog he is, and how sensible? [100]Had Mankind half the Sagacity of Jumper, they would guard against Accidents of this Sort, by having a public Survey, occasionally made of all the Houses in every Parish (especially of those, which are old and decayed) and not suffer them to remain in a crazy State, 'till they fall down on the Heads of the poor Inhabitants, and crush them to Death. Why, it was but Yesterday, that a whole House fell down in Grace-church-street, and another in Queen's-street, and an hundred more are to tumble, before this Time twelve Months; so Friends, take Care of yourselves, and tell the Legislature, they ought to take Care for you. How can you be so careless? Most of your Evils arise from Carelesness and Extravagance, and yet you excuse yourselves, and lay the Fault [101]upon Fortune. Fortune is a Fool, and you are a Blockhead, if you put it in her Power to play Tricks with you.

Jumper, Jumper, Jumper, what a beautiful dog he is, and how smart! [100]If humanity had even half the brains of Jumper, they would prevent accidents like this by regularly inspecting all the houses in each neighborhood (especially those that are old and falling apart) and not letting them stay in such dangerous condition until they collapse on the heads of unsuspecting residents and crush them to death. Just yesterday, a whole building fell down on Grace-church-street, and another one on Queen's-street, and a hundred more are likely to collapse within the next year; so friends, take care of yourselves and tell the government they need to take care of you. How can you be so careless? Most of your problems come from negligence and extravagance, yet you excuse yourselves and blame [101] fate. Fate is a fool, and you’re foolish if you let it have power over you to mess with your life.

        Yours,

          Best regards,

                  The M A N in the M O O N.

The M A N in the M O O N.

You are not to wonder, my dear Reader, that this little Dog should have more Sense than you, or your Father, or your Grandfather.

You shouldn't be surprised, my dear Reader, that this little Dog has more sense than you, your Father, or your Grandfather.

Nightingale

Though GOD Almighty has made Man the Lord of the Creation, and endowed him with Reason, yet in many Respects, he has been altogether as bountiful to other Creatures of his forming. Some of the Senses of other Animals are more acute than ours, as we find by daily Experience. You know this little Bird, [102]sweet Jug, Jug, Jug, 'tis a Nightingale. This little Creature, after she has entertained us with her Songs all the Spring, and bred up her little ones, flies into a foreign Country, and finds her Way over the Great Sea, without any of the Instruments and Helps which Men are obliged to make Use of for that Purpose. Was you as wise as the Nightingale, [103]you might make all the Sailors happy, and have twenty thousand Pounds for teaching them the Longitude.

Though God Almighty has made Man the master of Creation and gifted him with Reason, He has also generously provided for other creatures in many ways. Some senses of other animals are sharper than ours, as we see in our daily experience. You know this little bird, [102]sweet Jug, Jug, Jug, it’s a Nightingale. This little creature, after entertaining us with her songs all spring and raising her young, flies to a foreign country and navigates across the Great Sea without any of the tools and aids that humans need for that purpose. If you were as wise as the Nightingale, [103]you could make all the sailors happy and earn twenty thousand pounds for teaching them how to find their longitude.

You would not think Ralph the Raven half so wise and so good as he is, though you see him here reading his book. Yet when the Prophet Elijah, was obliged to fly from Ahab King of Israel, and hide himself in a Cave, the Ravens, at the Command of GOD Almighty, fed him every Day, and preserved his Life.

You wouldn't think Ralph the Raven is as wise and good as he is, even though you see him here reading his book. Yet when the Prophet Elijah had to escape from Ahab, the King of Israel, and hide in a cave, the Ravens, at the command of GOD Almighty, fed him every day and kept him alive.

And the Word of the Lord came unto Elijah, saying, Hide thyself by the Brook Cherith, that is before Jordan, and I have commanded the Ravens to feed thee there. And the Ravens brought him Bread and Flesh in the Morning, and Bread and Flesh in the Evening, and he drank of the Brook, Kings, B.I.C. 17.

And the Word of the Lord came to Elijah, saying, Hide out by the Brook Cherith, which is east of Jordan, and I have instructed the Ravens to feed you there. And the Ravens brought him Bread and Meat in the Morning, and Bread and Meat in the Evening, and he drank from the Brook, Kings, B.I.C. 17.

And the pretty Pidgeon when the [104]World was drowned, and he was confined with Noah in the Ark, was sent forth by him to see whether the Waters were abated, And he sent forth a Dove from him, to see if the Waters were abated from off the Face of the Ground. And the Dove came in to him in the Evening, and lo, in her Mouth was an Olive Leaf plucked off: So Noah knew that the Waters were abated from off the Earth. Gen. viii. 8. 11.

And the pretty pigeon, when the [104] world was flooded and he was stuck with Noah in the Ark, was sent out by him to see if the waters had gone down. And he sent out a dove to check if the waters had receded from the surface of the ground. The dove returned to him in the evening, and look, in her mouth was an olive leaf she had picked: So Noah knew that the waters had receded from the earth. Gen. viii. 8. 11.

As these, and other Animals, are so sensible and kind to us, we ought to be tender and good to them, and not beat them about, and kill them, and take away their young ones, as many wicked Boys do. Does not the Horse and the Ass carry you and your burthens; don't the Ox plough your Ground, the Cow give you Milk, the Sheep cloath your Back, [105]the Dog watch your House, the Goose find you in Quills to write with, the Hen bring Eggs for your Custards and Puddings, and the Cock call you up in the Morning, when you are lazy, and like to hurt yourselves by laying too long in Bed? If so, how can you be so cruel to them, and abuse GOD Almighty's good Creatures? Go, naughty Boy, go; be sorry for what you have done, and do so no more, that GOD Almighty may forgive you. Amen, say I, again and again. GOD will bless you, but not unless you are merciful and good.

Since these and other animals are so aware and kind to us, we should be gentle and good to them, not hit them, kill them, or take their young ones, as many cruel boys do. Don't horses and donkeys carry you and your loads? Don't oxen plow your fields, cows give you milk, sheep provide you with clothing, [105]dogs watch your home, geese supply you with quills to write with, hens lay eggs for your custards and puddings, and roosters wake you up in the morning when you're lazy and might hurt yourself by sleeping in? If so, how can you be so cruel to them and mistreat God Almighty's good creatures? Go, naughty boy, go; feel remorse for what you've done and stop, so that God Almighty may forgive you. Amen, I say, time and again. God will bless you, but only if you are merciful and kind.

The downfal of the School, was a great Misfortune to Mrs. Margery; for she not only lost all her Books, but was destitute of a Place to teach in; but Sir William Dove, being informed of this, ordered the House to be built at his own Expence, and [106]'till that could be done, Farmer Grove was so kind, as to let her have his large Hall to teach in.

The downfall of the School was a big misfortune for Mrs. Margery; not only did she lose all her books, but she also had no place to teach. However, Sir William Dove, hearing about this, decided to have a house built at his own expense, and [106] until that could be done, Farmer Grove kindly let her use his large hall to teach in.

The House built by Sir
William
, had a Statue erected over the Door of a Boy sliding on the Ice, and under it were these Lines, written by Mrs.
Two-Shoes
, and engraved at her Expence.


Boy sliding on the Ice

  On S I N.   A S I M I L E.

On S I N. A S I M I L E.

  As a poor Urchin on the Ice,
  When he has tumbl'd once or twice,
  With cautious Step, and trembling goes,
  The drop-stile Pendant on his Nose,
  And trudges on to seek the Shore,
  Resolv'd to trust the Ice no more:
  But meeting with a daring Mate,
  Who often us'd to slide and scate,
  Again is into Danger led,
  And falls again, and breaks his head.

  So Youth when first they're drawn to sin,
  And see the Danger they are in,
  Would gladly quit the thorney Way,
  And think it is unsafe to stay;
  But meeting with their wicked Train,
  Return with them to sin again:
  With them the Paths of Vice explore;
  With them are ruin'd ever more.

As a poor kid on the ice,
  After slipping a couple of times,
  He cautiously walks, scared and unsure,
  The drop-styled pendant on his nose,
  And heads on to find the shore,
  Determined to trust the ice no more:
  But coming across a bold friend,
  Who often used to slide and skate,
  He’s led back into danger again,
  And falls again, hurting himself.

  So young people, when they're first tempted to sin,
  And see the danger they’re in,
  Would gladly leave the thorny path,
  And think it’s unsafe to stay;
  But meeting with their wicked friends,
  They go back to sinning again:
  They explore the paths of vice with them;
  And with them, they’re ruined forever more.





C  H  A  P.   IV.

What happened at Farmer Grove's; and how
she gratified him for the Use of his Room
.

What went down at Farmer Grove's; and how
she thanked him for letting her use his room
.

While at Mr. Grove's, which was in the Heart of the Village, she not only taught the Children in the Day Time, but the Farmer's Servants, and all the Neighbours, to read and write in the Evening; and it was a constant Practice before they went away, to make them all go to Prayers, and sing Psalms. By this Means, the People grew extremely regular, his Servants were always at Home, instead of being at the Ale-house, and he had more Work done than ever. This [109]gave not only Mr. Grove, but all the Neighbours, an high Opinion of her good Sense and prudent Behaviour: And she was so much esteemed, that most of the Differences in the Parish were left to her Decision; and if a Man and Wife quarrelled (which sometimes happened in that Part of the Kingdom) both Parties certainly came to her for Advice. Every Body knows, that Martha Wilson was a passionate scolding Jade, and that John her husband, was a surly ill-tempered Fellow. These were one Day brought by the Neighbours for Margery to talk to them, when they fairly quarrelled before her, and were going to Blows; but she stepping between them, thus addressed the Husband; John, says she, you are a Man, and ought to have more Sense than to fly [110]in a Passion, at every Word that is said amiss by your Wife; and Martha, says she, you ought to know your Duty better, than to say any Thing to aggravate your Husband's Resentment. These frequent Quarrels, arise from the Indulgence of your violent Passions; for I know, you both love one another, notwithstanding what has passed between you. Now, pray tell me John, and tell me Martha, when you have had a Quarrel the over Night, are you not both sorry for it the next Day? They both declared that they were: Why then, says she, I'll tell you how to prevent this for the future, if you will both promise to take my Advice. They both promised her. You know, says she, that a small Spark will set Fire to Tinder, and that Tinder [111]properly placed will fire a House; an angry Word is with you as that Spark, for you are both as touchy as Tinder, and very often make your own House too hot to hold you. To prevent this, therefore, and to live happily for the future, you must solemnly agree, that if one speaks an angry Word, the other will not answer, 'till he or she has distinctly called over all the Letters in the Alphabet, and the other not reply, 'till he has told twenty; by this Means your Passions will be stifled, and Reason will have Time to take the Rule.

While at Mr. Grove's, located in the center of the Village, she not only taught the children during the day but also helped the farmer's workers and all the neighbors learn to read and write in the evenings. It became a regular practice before they left to gather everyone for prayers and to sing psalms. As a result, the people became very disciplined; his workers were always at home instead of at the pub, and he got more work done than ever. This [109] earned not just Mr. Grove but all the neighbors a high regard for her good judgment and sensible behavior. She was so respected that most disputes in the parish were left to her to resolve, and whenever a man and woman argued (which occasionally happened in that part of the country), both sides came to her for advice. Everyone knew that Martha Wilson was a hot-tempered scold and that her husband John was a grumpy, ill-natured guy. One day, the neighbors brought them for Margery to mediate when they started arguing right in front of her and were about to come to blows. But she stepped in and addressed the husband: John, she said, you’re a man and should have more sense than to fly off the handle at every little thing your wife says. And Martha, she continued, you need to know your responsibilities better than to say anything that stirs up your husband's anger. These frequent arguments arise from your unchecked emotions because I know you both love each other, despite what has happened between you. Now, please tell me, John, and you too, Martha, when you’ve argued the night before, aren’t you both sorry about it the next day? They both admitted they were. Well then, she said, I’ll tell you how to stop this from happening in the future if you both promise to follow my advice. They promised her. You know, she explained, a small spark can ignite tinder, and tinder [111] arranged correctly can burn down a house; an angry word works the same way because you’re both as sensitive as tinder and often make your home too heated for comfort. To avoid this and to live happily moving forward, you must agree that if one of you says something angry, the other will not respond until he or she has mentally gone through all the letters of the alphabet, and the other won’t reply until they’ve counted to twenty. This way, your tempers will cool off and reason will have a chance to take charge.

This is the best Recipe that was ever given for a married Couple to live in Peace: Though John and his Wife frequently attempted to quarrel afterwards, they never could get their Passions to any considerable Height, [112]for there was something so droll in thus carrying on the Dispute, that before they got to the End of the Argument, they saw the Absurdity of it, laughed, kissed, and were Friends.

This is the best recipe ever given for a married couple to live in peace: Although John and his wife often tried to argue afterwards, they could never let their emotions get too intense, [112] because there was something so funny about continuing the dispute that by the time they reached the end of the argument, they recognized the absurdity of it, laughed, kissed, and made up.

Just as Mrs. Margery had settled this Difference between John and his Wife, the Children (who had been sent out to play, while that Business was transacting) returned some in Tears, and others very disconsolate, for the Loss of a little Dormouse they were very fond of, and which was just dead. Mrs. Margery, who had the Art of moralizing and drawing Instructions from every Accident, took this Opportunity of reading them a Lecture on the Uncertainty of Life, and the Necessity of being always prepared for Death. You should [113]get up in the Morning, says she, and to conduct yourselves, as if that Day was to be your last, and lie down at Night, as if you never expected to see this World any more. This may be done, says she, without abating of your Chearfulness, for you are not to consider Death as an Evil, but as a Convenience, as an useful Pilot, who is to convey you to a Place of greater Happiness: Therefore, play my dear Children, and be merry; but be innocent and good. The good Man sets Death at Defiance, for his Darts are only dreadful to the Wicked.

Just as Mrs. Margery had resolved the disagreement between John and his wife, the children (who had been sent outside to play while that matter was being settled) returned, some in tears and others quite upset, over the loss of a little dormouse they loved, which had just died. Mrs. Margery, who had a knack for moralizing and finding lessons in every situation, took this opportunity to give them a talk about the uncertainty of life and the importance of always being ready for death. You should [113] wake up in the morning, she said, and live your day as if it were your last, and go to bed at night as if you never expected to see this world again. This can be done, she explained, without diminishing your cheerfulness, because you shouldn't see death as something bad, but as a helpful guide that takes you to a place of greater happiness. So, my dear children, enjoy your playtime and be joyful; but also be innocent and good. A good person is not afraid of death, as its dangers only scare the wicked.

After this, she permitted the Children to bury the little Dormouse, and desired one of them to write his Epitaph, and here it is.

After that, she allowed the children to bury the little Dormouse and asked one of them to write its epitaph, and here it is.

Epitaph on a D O R M O U S E, really
written by a little
BOY.

Epitaph on a D O R M O U S E, really
written by a little
BOY.

                  I.

I.

    In Paper Case,
    Hard by this Place,
  Dead a poor Dormouse lies;
    And soon or late,
    Summon'd by Fate,
  Each Prince, each Monarch dies.

In Paper Case,
    Near this Spot,
  Lies a poor Dormouse dead;
    And soon or later,
    Called by Fate,
  Every Prince, every Monarch dies.

                 II.

II.

    Ye Sons of Verse,
    While I rehearse,
  Attend instructive Rhyme;
    No Sins had Dor,
    To answer for,
  Repent of yours in Time.

You Sons of Verse,
    While I recite,
  Pay attention to this lesson in Rhyme;
    No Sins did Dor,
    Have to answer for,
  So repent of yours in Time.





C  H  A  P.   V.

The whole History of the Considering Cap, set forth
at large for the Benefit of all whom it may concern
.

The complete story of the Considering Cap, presented
in detail for the benefit of everyone it may concern.

Considering Cap

The great Reputation Mrs. Margery acquired by composing Differences in Families, and especially, between Man and Wife, induced her to cultivate that Part of her System of Morality and Economy, in order to render it more extensively useful. For this Purpose, she contrived what she called a Charm for the Passions; which was a considering Cap, almost as large as a Grenadier's, but of three equal Sides; on the first of which was written, I  M A Y  B E  W R O N G  ; on the second, I T  I S  F I F T Y  T O  O N E  B U T  Y O U  A R E ; [116]and on the third, I' L L  C O N S I D E R  O F  I T  . The other Parts on the out-side, were filled with odd Characters, as unintelligible as the Writings of the old Egyptians; but within Side there was a Direction for its Use, of the utmost Consequence; for it strictly enjoined the Possessor to put on the Cap, whenever he found his Passions begin to grow turbulent, and not to [117]deliver a Word whilst it was on, but with great Coolness and Moderation. As this Cap was an universal Cure for Wrong-headedness, and prevented numberless Disputes and Quarrels, it greatly hurt the Trade of the poor Lawyers, but was of the utmost Service to the rest of the Community. They were bought by Husbands and Wives, who had themselves frequent Occasion for them, and sometimes lent them to their Children: They were also purchased in large Quantities by Masters and Servants; by young Folks, who were intent on Matrimony, by Judges, Jurymen, and even Physicians and Divines; nay, if we may believe History, the Legislators of the Land did not disdain the Use of them; and we are told, that when any important Debate arose, Cap, was the Word, and [118]each House looked like a grand Synod of Egyptian Priests. Nor was this Cap of less Use to Partners in Trade, for with these, as well as with Husband and Wife, if one was out of Humour, the other threw him the Cap, and he was obliged to put it on, and keep it till all was quiet. I myself saw thirteen Caps worn at a Time in one Family, which could not have subsisted an Hour without them; and I was particularly pleased at Sir Humphry Huffum's, to hear a little Girl, when her Father was out of Humour, ask her Mamma, if she should reach down the Cap ? These Caps, indeed, were of such Utility, that People of Sense never went without them; and it was common in the Country, when a Booby made his Appearance, and talked Nonsense, to say, he had no Cap in his Pocket.

The great reputation Mrs. Margery gained from writing about family conflicts, especially between husbands and wives, motivated her to further develop that aspect of her moral and economic system to make it more widely useful. To achieve this, she created what she called a charm for managing emotions; it was a thinking cap, almost as big as a grenadier's, but with three equal sides. On the first side, it said, I M A Y B E W R O N G; on the second side, IT I S F I F T Y T O O N E B U T Y O U A R E; [116]and on the third side, I' L L C O N S I D E R O F I T. The other parts on the outside were filled with strange characters that were just as unreadable as the writings of the ancient Egyptians; however, the inside had essential instructions for use, which strictly required the wearer to put on the cap whenever their emotions started to flare up, and not to [117]say a word while wearing it, but to act with great calmness and moderation. Since this cap was a universal remedy for stubbornness and prevented countless disputes and arguments, it significantly hurt the business of poor lawyers, but was incredibly beneficial to the rest of the community. They were purchased by husbands and wives, who often needed them, and sometimes lent them to their children. They were also bought in bulk by employers and employees, young people eager to marry, judges, jurors, and even doctors and ministers. Indeed, if history is to be believed, the lawmakers of the land didn't shy away from using them either, and it was said that when any significant debate arose, Cap was the word, and [118]each house resembled a grand assembly of Egyptian priests. This cap was also very useful for business partners, so that if one was in a bad mood, the other would toss him the cap, and he would have to wear it until things calmed down. I personally witnessed thirteen caps being worn at one time in one family, which couldn’t have lasted an hour without them, and I was especially amused by Sir Humphry Huffum's situation when a little girl asked her mom if she should reach down the cap when her dad was grumpy. These caps were so practical that sensible people never left home without them; and it became a common saying in the countryside that when a fool made an appearance and talked nonsense, they would say, he had no cap in his pocket.

Friar Bacon

Advice from F R I A R  B A C O N.

Advice from F R I A R B A C O N.

What was Fortunatus 's Wishing Cap, when compared to this? That Cap, is said to have conveyed People instantly from one Place to another; but, as the Change of Place does not change the Temper and Disposition of the Mind, little Benefit can be expected from it; nor indeed is much [120]to be hoped from his famous Purse: That Purse, it is said, was never empty, and such a Purse, may be sometimes convenient; but as Money will not purchase Peace, it is not necessary for a Man to encumber himself with a great deal of it. Peace and Happiness depend so much upon the State of a Man's own Mind, and upon the Use of the considering Cap, that it is generally his own Fault, if he is miserable. One of these Caps will last a Man his whole Life, and is a Discovery of much greater Importance to the Public than the Philosopher's Stone. Remember what was said by my Brazen Head, Time is, Time was, Time is past: Now the Time is, therefore buy the Cap immediately, and make a proper Use of it, and be happy before the Time is past.

What was Fortunatus’s Wishing Cap compared to this? That Cap is said to have transported people instantly from one place to another; however, since a change of location doesn’t change a person’s mindset or attitude, little benefit can be expected from it. Likewise, not much [120] can be gained from his famous Purse: it’s said to have never been empty, and while such a Purse can be useful at times, money won’t buy peace, so there’s no need for a person to burden themselves with a lot of it. Peace and happiness depend heavily on a person’s state of mind and on using the thinking Cap, which means it’s usually a person’s own fault if they are unhappy. One of these Caps can last a person a lifetime and is far more valuable to the public than the Philosopher's Stone. Remember what my Brazen Head said, Time is, Time was, Time is past: Now Time is, so buy the Cap right away, make good use of it, and be happy before Time is past.

        Yours R O G E R  B A C O N.

Yours R O G E R B A C O N.





C  H  A  P.   VI.

How Mrs. MARGERY was taken up for a Witch,
and what happened on that Occasion.

How Mrs. MARGERY was accused of being a witch,
and what happened on that occasion.

And so it is true? And they have taken up Mrs. Margery then, and accused her of being a Witch, only because she was wiser than some of her Neighbours! Mercy upon me! People stuff Children's Heads with Stories of Ghosts, Faries, Witches, and such Nonsense when they are young, and so they continue Fools all their Days. The whole World ought to be made acquainted with her Case, and here it is at their Service.

And so is it really true? They've accused Mrs. Margery of being a witch just because she's smarter than some of her neighbors! Goodness! People fill children's heads with stories about ghosts, fairies, witches, and all that nonsense when they're young, and they end up being fools their whole lives. The whole world should know about her situation, and here it is for everyone to see.

The Case of Mrs. MARGERY.

The Case of Mrs. Margery.

Mrs. Margery, as we have frequently observed, was always doing Good, [122]and thought she could never sufficiently gratify those who had done any Thing to serve her. These generous Sentiments, naturally led her to consult the Interest of Mr. Grove, and the rest of her Neighbours; and as most of their Lands were Meadow, and they depended much on their Hay, which had been for many Years greatly damaged by wet Weather, she contrived an Instrument to direct them when to mow their Grass with Safety, and prevent their Hay being spoiled. They all came to her for Advice, and by that Means got in their Hay without Damage, while most of that in the neighbouring Villages was spoiled.

Mrs. Margery, as we've often seen, was always doing good, [122]and felt she could never thank those who had helped her enough. These kind feelings naturally led her to think about the well-being of Mr. Grove and the other neighbors. Since most of their land was meadows and they relied heavily on their hay, which had suffered a lot from wet weather over the years, she created a tool to help them know when it was safe to cut their grass and prevent their hay from going bad. They all came to her for advice, and as a result, they were able to harvest their hay without any damage, while much of what was collected in neighboring villages was ruined.

a Witch!

This made a great Noise in the Country, and so provoked were the People in the other Parishes, that they accused her of being a Witch, and [123]sent Gaffer Goosecap, a busy Fellow in other People's Concerns, to find out Evidence against her. This Wiseacre happened to come to her School, when she was walking about with the Raven on one Shoulder, the Pidgeon on the other, the Lark on her Hand, and the Lamb and the Dog by her Side; which indeed made a droll Figure, and so surprized the that he cried out, [124]a Witch! a Witch! upon this she laughing, answered, a Conjurer! a Conjurer! and so they parted; but it did not end thus, for a Warrant was issued out against Mrs. Margery, and she was carried to a Meeting of the Justices, whither all the Neighbours followed her.

This caused a huge uproar in the area, and people from other parishes were so angry that they accused her of being a witch. They sent Gaffer Goosecap, someone who meddled in other people's affairs, to gather evidence against her. This busybody happened to show up at her school while she was outside with a raven on one shoulder, a pigeon on the other, a lark on her hand, and a lamb and a dog by her side; it was quite a silly sight and surprised him so much that he yelled, [124]a witch! a witch! She laughed and replied, a conjurer! a conjurer! and they went their separate ways. But that wasn’t the end of it; a warrant was issued for Mrs. Margery, and she was taken to a meeting of the justices, where all the neighbors followed her.

At the Meeting, one of the Justices, who knew little of Life, and less of the Law, behaved very idly; and though no Body was able to prove any Thing against her, asked, who she could bring to her Character? Who can you bring against my Character, Sir, says she, there are People enough who would appear in my Defence, were it necessary; but I never supposed that any one here could be so weak, as to believe there was any such Thing as a Witch. If I am a Witch, this is my [125]Charm, and (laying a Barometer or Weather Glass on the Table) it is with this, says she, that I have taught my Neighbours to know the State of the Weather. All the Company laughed, and Sir William Dove, who was on the Bench, asked her Accusers, how they could be such Fools, as to think there was any such Thing as a Witch. It is true, continued he, many innocent and worthy People have been abused and even murdered on this absurd and foolish Supposition; which is a Scandal to our Religion, to our Laws, to our Nation, and to common Sense; but I will tell you a Story.

At the meeting, one of the justices, who knew little about life and even less about the law, acted very lazily; and although no one could prove anything against her, she asked who could vouch for her character. "Who can you bring against my character, sir?" she said. "There are plenty of people who would stand up for me if it were necessary, but I never thought anyone here could be so foolish as to believe in witches. If I am a witch, this is my [125] charm," and, placing a barometer on the table, she said, "It’s with this that I have taught my neighbors to know the state of the weather." The whole company laughed, and Sir William Dove, who was sitting on the bench, asked her accusers how they could be so foolish as to think there was such a thing as a witch. "It's true," he continued, "that many innocent and good people have been mistreated and even killed based on this ridiculous and silly assumption, which is a shame to our religion, our laws, our nation, and common sense; but let me tell you a story."

There was in the West of England a poor industrious Woman, who laboured under the same evil Report, which this good Woman is accused of. Every Hog that died with the [126]Murrain, every Cow that slipt her Calf, she was accountable for: If a Horse had the Staggers, she was supposed to be in his Head; and whenever the Wind blew a little harder than ordinary, Goody Giles was playing her Tricks, and riding upon a Broomstick in the Air. These, and a thousand other Phantasies, too ridiculous to recite, possessed the Pates of the common People: Horse-shoes were nailed with the Heels upwards, and many Tricks made use of, to mortify the poor Creature; and such was their Rage against her, that they petitioned Mr. Williams, the Parson of the Parish, not to let her come to Church; and at last, even insisted upon it: But this he over-ruled, and allowed the poor old Woman a Nook in one of the Isles to herself, where she muttered over her Prayers in the [127]best Manner she could. The Parish, thus disconcerted and enraged, withdrew the small Pittance they allowed for her Support, and would have reduced her to the Necessity of starving, had she not been still assisted by the benevolent Mr. Williams.

In the West of England, there was a poor, hardworking woman who faced the same terrible rumors that this good woman is accused of. Every pig that died from the [126]murrain, every cow that lost its calf, she was blamed for. If a horse had the staggers, it was assumed she was behind it; and whenever the wind blew a bit harder than usual, Goody Giles was said to be casting her spells and flying on a broomstick. These and countless other silly ideas took hold of the minds of the common people: horseshoes were nailed with the heels facing up, and various tricks were used to torment the poor woman. Their anger against her grew so intense that they urged Mr. Williams, the parish priest, not to allow her in church, and eventually insisted on it. But he refused, giving the old woman a corner in one of the aisles where she could softly say her prayers in the [127]best way she could. The parish, feeling upset and furious, withdrew the small stipend they provided for her support, and would have left her to starve if it weren't for the help of the kind Mr. Williams.

But I hasten to the Sequel of my Story, in which you will find, that the true Source from whence Witchcraft springs is Poverty, Age, and Ignorance; and that it is impossible for a Woman to pass for a Witch, unless she is very poor, very old, and lives in a Neighbourhood where the People are void of common Sense.

But I quickly move on to the next part of my story, where you'll discover that the real sources of witchcraft are poverty, age, and ignorance; and that it's impossible for a woman to be seen as a witch unless she is very poor, very old, and lives in a community where the people are lacking common sense.

Some Time after, a Brother of her's died in London, who, though he would not part with a Farthing while he lived, at his Death was obliged to leave her five thousand Pounds, that he could not carry with him.[128]----This altered the Face of Jane 's Affairs prodigiously: She was no longer Jane, alias Joan Giles, the ugly old Witch, but Madam Giles; her old ragged Garb was exchanged for one that was new and genteel; her greatest Enemies made their Court to her, even the Justice himself came to wish her Joy; and though several Hogs and Horses died, and the Wind frequently blew afterwards, yet Madam Giles was never supposed to have a Hand in it; and from hence it is plain, as I observed before, that a Woman must be very poor, very old, and live in a Neighbourhood, where the People are very stupid, before she can possibly pass for a Witch.

Some time later, a brother of hers died in London, who, although he never wanted to part with a penny while he was alive, had to leave her five thousand pounds at his death, which he couldn't take with him.[128]----This dramatically changed Jane's situation: She was no longer Jane, aka Joan Giles, the ugly old witch, but Madam Giles; her old ragged clothes were replaced with new, stylish attire; even her biggest enemies started to flatter her, and the Justice himself came to congratulate her; and although several pigs and horses died, and the wind often blew afterwards, Madam Giles was never thought to be involved; and from this, it is clear, as I mentioned before, that a woman must be very poor, very old, and live in a neighborhood where the people are very stupid, before she can possibly be considered a witch.

'Twas a Saying of Mr. Williams, who would sometimes be jocose, and had the Art of making even Satire [129]agreeable; that if ever Jane deserved the Character of a Witch, it was after this Money was left her; for that with her five thousand Pounds, she did more Acts of Charity and friendly Offices, than all the People of Fortune within fifty Miles of the Place.

Mr. Williams once said, jokingly, that if anyone ever deserved the title of a Witch, it was Jane, especially after she received that money. With her five thousand pounds, she performed more acts of charity and kindness than all the wealthy people within fifty miles of the area.

After this, Sir William inveighed against the absurd and foolish Notions, which the Country People had imbibed concerning Witches, and Witchcraft, and having proved that there was no such Thing, but that all were the Effects of Folly and Ignorance, he gave the Court such an Account of Mrs. Margery, and her Virtue, good Sense, and prudent Behaviour, that the Gentlemen present were enamoured with her, and returned her public Thanks for the great Service she had done the [130]Country. One Gentleman in particular, I mean Sir Charles Jones, had conceived such an high Opinion of her, that he offered her a considerable Sum to take the Care of his Family, and the Education of his Daughter, which, however, she refused; but this Gentleman, sending for her afterwards when he had a dangerous Fit of Illness, she went, and behaved so prudently in the Family, and so tenderly to him and his Daughter, that he would not permit her to leave his House, but soon after made her Proposals of Marriage. She was truly sensible of the Honour he intended her, but, though poor, she would not consent to be made a Lady, till he had effectually provided for his Daughter; for she told him, that Power was a dangerous Thing to be trusted with, and that a good Man [131]or Woman would never throw themselves into the Road of Temptation.

After this, Sir William spoke out against the ridiculous and foolish ideas that the local people had about witches and witchcraft, and after proving that there was no such thing, but that it was all just a result of ignorance and foolishness, he gave the court a glowing account of Mrs. Margery, highlighting her virtue, common sense, and wise behavior. The gentlemen present were so taken with her that they publicly thanked her for the great service she had done for the [130]country. One gentleman in particular, Sir Charles Jones, thought so highly of her that he offered her a significant amount of money to take care of his family and educate his daughter, which she politely declined. However, when he later sent for her during a serious illness, she went and handled things in the household so wisely and was so caring towards him and his daughter that he wouldn’t let her leave his home. Soon after, he proposed marriage to her. She truly appreciated the honor he intended for her, but even though she was poor, she refused to become a lady until he had made proper provisions for his daughter. She told him that power can be a dangerous thing to trust and that a good man or woman should never put themselves in the way of temptation.

the Neighbours came in Crouds to see the Wedding

All Things being settled, and the Day fixed, the Neighbours came in Crouds to see the Wedding; for they were all glad, that one who had been such a good little Girl, and was become such a virtuous and good Woman, was going to be made a Lady; but just as the Clergyman had opened his Book, a Gentleman richly dressed [132]ran into the Church, and cry'd, Stop! stop! This greatly alarmed the Congregation, particularly the intended Bride and Bridegroom, whom he first accosted, and desired to speak with them apart. After they had been talking some little Time, the People were greatly surprized to see Sir Charles stand Motionless, and his Bride cry, and faint away in the Stranger's Arms. This seeming Grief, however, was only a Prelude to a Flood of Joy, which immediately succeeded; for you must know, gentle Reader, that this Gentleman, so richly dressed and bedizened with Lace, was that identical little Boy, whom you before saw in the Sailor's Habit; in short, it was little Tom Two Shoes, Mrs. Margery's Brother, who was just come from beyond Sea, where he had made a large Fortune, [133]and hearing, as soon as he landed, of his Sister's intended Wedding, had rode Post, to see that a proper Settlement was made on her; which he thought she was now intitled to, as he himself was both able and willing to give her an ample Fortune. They soon returned to the Communion-Table, and were married in Tears, but they were Tears of Joy.

Once everything was settled and the date was set, the neighbors gathered in crowds to witness the wedding. They were all happy that someone who had been such a good little girl and turned into such a virtuous and admirable woman was about to become a lady. Just as the clergyman opened his book, a well-dressed gentleman ran into the church and shouted, "Stop! Stop!" This startled the congregation, especially the bride and groom, whom he approached and asked to speak with them privately. After a brief conversation, the crowd was shocked to see Sir Charles standing still while his bride cried and fainted in the stranger's arms. However, this apparent sorrow was just a prelude to an overwhelming joy that followed. You should know, dear reader, that the well-dressed gentleman adorned with lace was actually the same little boy you saw earlier in sailor's clothing; in fact, it was little Tom Two Shoes, Mrs. Margery's brother, who had just returned from overseas, where he had made a fortune. Upon hearing about his sister's upcoming wedding as soon as he landed, he had hurried to ensure a suitable settlement for her, believing she deserved it now that he was both able and willing to provide her with a generous fortune. They quickly returned to the communion table and were married in tears—tears of joy.

There is something wonderful in this young Gentleman's Preservation and Success in Life; which we shall acquaint the Reader of, in the History of his Life and Adventures, which will soon be published.

There is something remarkable about this young man's ability to maintain himself and achieve success in life, which we will share with the reader in the story of his life and adventures, coming soon.





C  H  A  P.   VII. and Last.

The true Use of Riches.

The Real Purpose of Wealth.

The Harmony and Affection that subsisted between this happy Couple, is inexpressible; but Time, which dissolves the closest Union, after six Years, severed Sir Charles from his Lady; for being seized with a violent Fever he died, and left her full of Grief, tho' possessed of a large Fortune.

The love and connection between this happy couple is beyond words; however, time, which breaks apart the strongest bonds, separated Sir Charles from his wife after six years. He fell seriously ill with a fever and died, leaving her heartbroken, even though she had a great fortune.

We forgot to remark, that after her Marriage, Lady Jones (for so we must now call her) ordered the Chappel to be fitted up, and allowed the Chaplain a considerable Sum out of her own private Purse, to visit the Sick, and say Prayers every Day to all the People that could attend. [135]She also gave Mr. Johnson ten Guineas a Year, to preach a Sermon, annually, on the Necessity and Duties of the marriage State, and on the Decease of Sir Charles; she gave him ten more, to preach yearly on the Subject of Death; she had put all the Parish into Mourning for the Loss of her Husband; and to those Men who attended this yearly Service, she gave Harvest Gloves, to their Wives Shoes and Stockings, and to all the Children little Books and Plumb-cakes: We must also observe, that she herself wove a Chaplet of Flowers, and before the Service, placed it on his Grave-stone; and a suitable Psalm was always sung by the Congregation.

We forgot to mention that after her marriage, Lady Jones (which is how we must now refer to her) had the chapel renovated and gave the chaplain a significant amount from her own funds to visit the sick and say prayers every day for everyone who could attend. [135]She also paid Mr. Johnson ten guineas a year to deliver a sermon each year on the necessity and duties of marriage and about the passing of Sir Charles; she gave him another ten to preach annually on the topic of death. She had put the entire parish into mourning for the loss of her husband, and for the men who attended this annual service, she provided harvest gloves, their wives received shoes and stockings, and all the children got small books and plum cakes. We should also note that she personally wove a garland of flowers, which she placed on his gravestone before the service, and a suitable psalm was always sung by the congregation.

About this Time, she heard that Mr. Smith was oppressed by Sir [136]Timothy Gripe, the Justice, and his Friend Graspall, who endeavoured to deprive him of Part of his Tythes; upon which she, in Conjunction with her Brother, defended him, and the Cause was tried in Westminster-hall, where Mr. Smith gained a Verdict; and it appearing that Sir Timothy had behaved most scandalously, as a Justice of the Peace, he was struck off the List, and no longer permitted to act in that Capacity. This was a Cut to a Man of his imperious Disposition, and this was followed by one yet more severe; for a Relation of his, who had an undoubted Right to the Mouldwell Estate, finding that it was possible to get the better at Law of a rich Man, laid Claim to it, brought his Action, and recovered the whole Manor of Mouldwell, and being [137]afterwards inclined to sell it, he, in Consideration of the Aid Lady Margery had lent him during his Distress, made her the first Offer, and she purchased the Whole, and threw it into different Farms, that the Poor might be no longer under the Dominion of two over-grown Men.

About this time, she heard that Mr. Smith was being harassed by Sir [136]Timothy Gripe, the Justice, and his friend Graspall, who tried to take away part of his tithes. In response, she, along with her brother, defended him, and the case was tried in Westminster-hall, where Mr. Smith won the verdict. Since it turned out that Sir Timothy had acted very scandalously as a Justice of the Peace, he was removed from the list and was no longer allowed to serve in that role. This was a harsh blow to someone with his controlling nature, and then he faced something even worse; a relative of his, who had a legitimate claim to the Mouldwell estate, realizing it was feasible to win in court against a wealthy man, laid claim to it, sued, and successfully recovered the entire Mouldwell manor. Later, when he was thinking about selling it, he, in gratitude for the help Lady Margery had given him during his troubles, made her the first offer, and she bought the entire estate and divided it into different farms so that the poor would no longer be under the control of two wealthy men.

This was a great Mortification to Sir Timothy, as well as to his Friend Graspall, who from this Time experienced nothing but Misfortunes, and was in a few Years so dispossessed of his Ill-gotten Wealth, that his Family were reduced to seek Subsistance from the Parish, at which those who had felt the Weight of his Iron Hand rejoiced; but Lady Margery desired, that his Children might be treated with Care and Tenderness; for they, says she, are no Ways accountable for the Actions of their Father.

This was a huge embarrassment for Sir Timothy, as well as for his friend Graspall, who from that point on faced nothing but setbacks. Within a few years, he lost all his ill-gotten wealth, leaving his family dependent on charity from the parish, which pleased those who had suffered under his harsh rule. However, Lady Margery insisted that his children be treated with care and kindness; for they, she said, are not responsible for their father's actions.

At her first coming into Power, she took Care to gratify her old Friends, especially Mr. and Mrs. Smith, whose Family she made happy.--She paid great Regard to the Poor, made their Interest her own, and to induce them to come regularly to Church, she ordered a Loaf, or the Price of a Loaf, to be given to every one who would accept of it. This brought many of them to Church, who by degrees learned their Duty, and then came on a more noble Principle. She also took Care to encourage Matrimony; and in order to induce her Tenants and Neighbours to enter into that happy State, she always gave the young Couple something towards House-keeping; and stood Godmother to all their Children, whom she had in Parties, every Sunday Evening, to teach them their Catechism, and [139]lecture them in Religion and Morality; after which she treated them with a Supper, gave them such Books as they wanted, and then dispatched them with her Blessing. Nor did she forget them at her Death, but left each a Legacy, as will be seen among other charitable Donations when we publish her Will, which we may do in some future Volume. There is one Request however so singular, that we cannot help taking some Notice of it in this Place; which is, that of her giving so many Acres of Land to be planted yearly with Potatoes, for all the Poor of any Parish who would come and fetch them for the Use of their Families; but if any took them to sell they were deprived of that Privilege ever after. And these Roots were planted and raised from the Rent arising from a Farm which she had [140]assigned over for that purpose. In short, she was a Mother to the Poor, a Physician to the Sick, and a Friend to all who were in Distress. Her Life was the greatest Blessing, and her Death the greatest Calamity that ever was felt in the Neighbourhood. A Monument, but without Inscription, was erected to her Memory in the Church-yard, over which the Poor as they pass weep continually, so that the Stone is ever bathed in Tears.

At her rise to power, she made sure to please her old friends, especially Mr. and Mrs. Smith, making their family happy. She paid great attention to the poor, made their needs her own priority, and to encourage them to attend church regularly, she arranged for a loaf of bread, or the equivalent amount of money, to be given to anyone who wanted it. This brought many of them to church, where they gradually learned their responsibilities and then came for more meaningful reasons. She also worked to promote marriage; to encourage her tenants and neighbors to enter into this happy state, she always gave the young couples a little something to help with their household expenses and became the godmother to all their children. She held gatherings every Sunday evening to teach them their catechism and lecture them on religion and morality; afterward, she treated them to supper, provided them with books they needed, and sent them off with her blessing. She didn’t forget them after her death, leaving each a legacy, as will be detailed among other charitable donations when we publish her will, which we plan to do in a future volume. There is, however, one request so unique that we must mention it here: she allocated a certain number of acres of land to be planted each year with potatoes for any poor people from the parish who would come and take them for their families; but if anyone took them to sell, they would lose that privilege forever. These potatoes were planted and grown from the rent of a farm she had [140]assigned for that purpose. In short, she was a mother to the poor, a healer to the sick, and a friend to all in distress. Her life was the greatest blessing, and her death the greatest tragedy ever felt in the neighborhood. A monument, but without any inscription, was erected in her memory in the churchyard, where the poor weep as they pass by, leaving the stone constantly wet with tears.

On this Occasion the following Lines were spoken extempore by a young Gentleman.

On this occasion, the following lines were spoken spontaneously by a young man.

  How vain the Tears that fall from you,
  And here supply the Place of Dew?
  How vain to weep the happy Dead,
  Who now to heavenly Realms are fled?
  Repine no more, your Plaints forbear,
  And all prepare to meet them there.

How pointless are the tears you shed,
And here take the place of dew?
How pointless it is to weep for the happy dead,
Who have now flown to heavenly realms?
Stop lamenting, hold back your complaints,
And get ready to meet them there.

The E  N  D.





A  P  P   E  N  D  I  X.

The G O L D E N  D R E A M  ; or, the I N G E N U O U S C O N F E S S I O N .

The G O L D E N  D R E A M  ; or, the I N G E N U O U S C O N F E S S I O N .

Appendix

To shew the Depravity of human Nature, and how apt the Mind is to be misled by Trinkets and false Appearances, Mrs. Two-Shoes does acknowledge, that after she became rich, she had like to have been too fond of Money; for on seeing her Husband receive a very large Sum, her Heart went pit pat, pit pat, all the [142]Evening, and she began to think that Guineas were pretty Things. To suppress this Turbulence of Mind, which was a Symptom of approaching Avarice, she said her Prayers earlier than usual, and at Night had the following Dream; which I shall relate in her own Words.

To show the flaws in human nature and how easily the mind can be misled by shiny objects and false appearances, Mrs. Two-Shoes admits that after she got rich, she almost became too attached to money. When she saw her husband receive a large sum, her heart raced all evening, and she started to think that guineas were pretty things. To calm this unrest, which was a sign of growing greed, she said her prayers earlier than usual and had the following dream that night, which I will share in her own words.

"Methought, as I slept, a Genii stept up to me with a French Commode, which having placed on my Head, he said, now go and be happy; for from henceforth every Thing you touch shall turn to Gold. Willing to try the Experiment, I gently touched the Bed-post and Furniture, which immediately became massy Gold burnished, and of surprizing Brightness. I then touched the Walls of the House, which assumed the same Appearance, and looked amazingly magnificent. Elated with this wonderful Gift, I rang hastily for my Maid to carry the joyful News to her Master, who, as I thought, was then walking in the Garden. Sukey came, but in the Extacy I was in, happening to touch her Hand, she became instantly an immovable Statue. [143]Go, said I, and call your Master; but she made no reply, nor could she stir. Upon this I shrieked, and in came my dear Husband, whom I ran to embrace; when no sooner had I touched him, but he became good for nothing; that is, good for nothing but his Weight in Gold; and that you know could be nothing, where Gold was so plenty. At this instant up came another Servant with a Glass of Water, thinking me ill; this I attempted to swallow, but no sooner did it touch my Mouth, than it became a hard solid Body, and unfit for drinking. My Distress now grew insupportable! I had destroyed, as I thought, my dear Husband, and my favourite Servant; and I plainly perceived, that I should die for want in the midst of so much Wealth. Ah, said I, why did I long for Riches! Having enough already, why did I covet more? Thus terrified, I began to rave, and beat my Breast, which awaked Sir Charles, who kindly called me from this State of Inquietude, and composed my Mind."

"I thought, as I slept, a Genie came up to me with a French Commode, which he placed on my head and said, 'Now go and be happy; from now on, everything you touch will turn to gold.' Eager to test this, I gently touched the bedpost and furniture, which instantly transformed into solid gold, shining and surprisingly bright. I then touched the walls of the house, which took on the same look and appeared incredibly grand. Overjoyed with this incredible gift, I quickly called for my maid to share the happy news with her master, who I thought was in the garden. Sukey came, but in my excitement, I accidentally touched her hand, and she instantly became an immovable statue. [143] 'Go,' I said, 'and call your master,' but she didn’t respond and couldn’t move. In a panic, I screamed, and my dear husband rushed in, and as I ran to embrace him, the moment I touched him, he became worthless; that is, only as valuable as his weight in gold, which you know was nothing since gold was so abundant. At that moment, another servant came in with a glass of water, thinking I was unwell; I tried to drink it, but as soon as it touched my mouth, it turned into a hard solid and was impossible to swallow. My distress became unbearable! I thought I had ruined my dear husband and my favorite servant, and I realized that I would starve surrounded by so much wealth. 'Why did I long for riches?' I lamented. 'Having enough already, why did I want more?' Terrified, I began to scream and beat my chest, which woke Sir Charles, who kindly pulled me from this state of distress and calmed my mind."

This Scene I have often considered as a Lesson, instructing me, that a Load of Riches bring, instead of Felicity, a Load of Troubles; and that the only Source of Happiness is Contentment. Go, therefore, you who have too much, and give it to those who are in want; so shall you be happy yourselves, by making others happy. This is a Precept from the Almighty, a Precept which must be regarded; for The Lord is about your Paths, and about your Bed, and spieth out all your Ways.

This scene is something I've often thought about as a lesson, teaching me that a lot of wealth brings not happiness, but a lot of troubles; and that the only true source of happiness is contentment. So, go ahead, you who have too much, and share it with those in need; you’ll find happiness yourself by making others happy. This is a principle from the Almighty, a principle that must be respected; for The Lord is watching over your paths and your bed, and knows all your ways.


An Anecdote, respecting T O M T W O-S H O E S, communicated by a Gentleman, who is now writing the History of his Life.

An Anecdote, regarding T O M T W O-S H O E S, shared by a Gentleman, who is currently writing his Life story.

It is generally known, that Tom Two-Shoes went to Sea when he was a very little Boy, and very poor; and that he returned a very great Man, and very rich; but no one knows how he acquired so much Wealth but myself, and a few [145]Friends, who have perused the Papers from which I am compiling the History of his Life.

It’s well known that Tom Two-Shoes went to sea when he was just a little kid and really poor, and that he came back a very important and wealthy man; but no one knows how he got so rich except for me and a few [145]friends who have read the documents I’m using to put together the story of his life.

After Tom had been at Sea some Years, he was unfortunately cast away, on that Part of the Coast of Africa inhabited by the Hottentots. Here he met with a strange Book, which the Hottentots did not understand, and which gave him some Account of Prester John's Country; and being a Lad of great Curiosity and Resolution he determined to see it; accordingly he set out on the Pursuit, attended by a young Lion, which he had tamed and made so fond of him, that he followed him like a Dog, and obeyed all his Commands; and indeed it was happy for him that he had such a Companion; for as his Road lay through large Woods and Forests, that were full of wild Beasts and without Inhabitants, he must have been soon starved or torn in Pieces, had he not been both fed and protected by this noble Animal.

After Tom had been at sea for several years, he was unfortunately shipwrecked on the part of the coast of Africa inhabited by the Hottentots. There, he came across a peculiar book that the Hottentots didn’t understand, which provided him some information about Prester John's country. Being a curious and determined young man, he decided to explore it; so he set off on his journey, accompanied by a young lion that he had tamed. The lion had become so attached to him that it followed him like a dog and obeyed all his commands. It was indeed fortunate for him to have such a companion; as his route took him through vast woods and forests, filled with wild animals and devoid of inhabitants, he would have soon starved or been torn apart had he not been fed and protected by this noble creature.

Tom and the Lion

Tom had provided himself with two Guns, a Sword, and as much Powder and Ball as he could carry; with these Arms, and such a Companion, it was mighty easy for him to get Food; for the Animals in these wild and extensive Forests, having never seen the Effects of a Gun, readily ran from the Lion, who hunted on one Side, to Tom, who hunted on the other, so that they were either caught by the Lion, or shot by his Master; and it was pleasant enough, after a [147]hunting Match, and the Meat was dressed, to see how Cheek by Joul they sat down to Dinner.

Tom had equipped himself with two guns, a sword, and as much ammo as he could carry; with these weapons and such a companion, it was really easy for him to find food. The animals in these wild and vast forests, having never experienced the effects of a gun, would quickly run from the lion hunting on one side to Tom, who was hunting on the other. This meant they were either caught by the lion or shot by their master. After a [147]hunting trip, and once the meat was cooked, it was quite enjoyable to see how they sat down to dinner side by side.

Statue of a Man

When they came info the Land of Utopia, he discovered the Statue of a Man created on an open Plain, which had this Inscription on the Pedestal: On May-day in the Morning, when the Sun rises, I shall have a Head of Gold. As it was now the latter End of April, he stayed to see this wonderful Change; and in the mean time, [148]enquiring of a poor Shepherd what was the Reason of the Statue being erected there, and with that Inscription, he was informed, that it was set up many Years ago by an Arabian Philosopher, who travelled all the World over in Search of a real Friend; that he lived with, and was extremely fond of a great Man who inhabited the next Mountain; but that on some Occasion they quarrelled, and the Philosopher, leaving the Mountain, retired into the Plain, where he erected this Statue with his own Hands, and soon after died. To this he added, that all the People for many Leagues round came there every May Morning, expecting to see the Stone-head turned to Gold.

When they arrived in the land of Utopia, he discovered the statue of a man standing on an open plain, which had this inscription on the pedestal: On May Day in the morning, when the sun rises, I shall have a head of gold. Since it was now the end of April, he decided to stay and witness this incredible transformation; meanwhile, [148] he asked a poor shepherd about the reason for the statue being there, along with the inscription. He learned that it had been erected many years ago by an Arabian philosopher, who traveled the world in search of a true friend. He had lived with and was very fond of a great man who lived on the nearby mountain; however, they had a falling out, and the philosopher, after leaving the mountain, retreated to the plain where he built this statue with his own hands before he died soon after. The shepherd added that people from many miles away came every May morning, hoping to see the stone head turn to gold.

Tom got up very early on the first of May to behold this amazing Change, and when he came near the Statue he saw a Number of People, who all ran away from him in the utmost Consternation, hating never before seen a Lion follow a Man like a Lap-dog. Being thus left alone, he fixed his Eyes on the Sun, then rising with [149]resplendent Majesty, and afterwards turned to the Statue, but could see no Change in the Stone.--Surely, says he to himself, there is some mystical Meaning in this! This Inscription must be an Ænigma, the hidden Meaning of which I will endeavour to find; for a Philosopher would never expect a Stone to be turned to Gold; accordingly he measured the Length of the Shadow, which the Statue gave on the Ground by the Sun shining on it, and marked that particular Part where the Head fell, then getting a Chopness (a Thing like a Spade) and digging, he discovered a Copper-chest, full of Gold, with this Inscription engraved on the Lid of it.

Tom woke up very early on the first of May to witness this incredible change, and when he got close to the statue, he saw a crowd of people who all ran away from him in utter panic, having never before seen a lion follow a man like a lapdog. Left on his own, he fixed his eyes on the sun, which was rising with [149] brilliant majesty, and then turned to the statue but didn't see any change in the stone. "Surely," he said to himself, "there's some hidden meaning in this! This inscription must be a riddle, and I will try to figure it out; a philosopher would never expect a stone to turn to gold." So, he measured the length of the shadow that the statue cast on the ground as the sun shone on it and marked the spot where the head fell. Then he got a Chopness (something like a spade) and dug, discovering a copper chest full of gold, with this inscription engraved on the lid.

Thy W I T,
Oh Man! whoever thou art,
Hath disclos'd the Ænigma,
And discover'd the G O L D E N  H E A D.
Take it and use it,
But use it with W I S D O M;
For know,
That G O L D, properly employ'd,
[150] May dispense Blessings,
And promote the Happiness of Morals;
But when hoarded up,
Or misapply'd,
Is but Trash, that makes Mankind miserable.
Remember
The unprofitable Servant,
Who hid his Talent in a Napkin;
And
The profligate Son,
Who squander'd away his Substance and
fed with the Swine.
As thou hast got the G O L D E N  H E A D,
Observe the Golden Mean,
Be Good and be happy.

Your Wisdom,I T,
Oh Man! whoever you are,
Has revealed the riddle,
And discovered the Golden Head.
Take it and use it,
But use it with Wisdom;
For know,
That Gold, when properly used,
[150] Can bring blessings,
And promote the happiness of morals;
But when hoarded,
Or misused,
It's just trash that makes humanity miserable.
Remember
The unprofitable servant,
Who buried his Talent in a napkin;
And
The reckless son,
Who wasted his inheritance and
fed with the pigs.
As you have found the Golden Head,
Follow the Golden Mean,
Be Good and be happy.

This Lesson, coming as it were from the Dead, struck him with such Awe, and Reverence for Piety and Virtue, that, before he removed the Treasure, he kneeled down, and earnestly and fervently prayed that he might make a prudent, just and proper Use of it. He then conveyed the Chest away; but how he got it to England, the Reader [151]will be informed in the History of his Life. It may not be improper, however, in this Place, to give the Reader some Account of the Philosopher who hid this Treasure, and took so much Pains to find a true and real Friend to enjoy it. As Tom had Reason to venerate his Memory, he was very particular in his Enquiry, and had this Character of him;--that he was a Man well acquainted with Nature and with Trade; that he was pious, friendly, and of a sweet and affable Disposition. That he had acquired a Fortune by Commerce, and having no Relations to leave it to, he travelled through Arabia, Persia, India, Libia and Utopia in search of a real Friend. In this Pursuit he found several with whom he exchanged good Offices, and that were polite and obliging, but they often flew off for Trifles; or as soon as he pretended to be in Distress, and requested their Assistance, left him to struggle with his own Difficulties. So true is that Copy in our Books, which says, Adversity is the Touchstone of Friendship. At last, however, he [152]met with the Utopian Philosopher, or the wise Man of the Mountain, as he is called, and thought in him he had found the Friend he wanted; for though he often pretended to be in Distress, and abandoned to the Frowns of Fortune, this Man always relieved him, and with such Chearfulness and Sincerity, that concluding he had found out the only Man to whom he ought to open both his Purse and his Heart, he let him so far into his Secrets, as to desire his Assistance in hiding a large Sum of Money, which he wanted to conceal, lest the Prince of the Country, who was absolute, should, by the Advice of his wicked Minister, put him to Death for his Gold. The two Philosophers met and hid the Money, which the Stranger, after some Days, went to see, but found it gone. How was he struck to the Heart, when he found that his Friend, whom he had often tried, and who had relieved him in his Distress, could not withstand this Temptation, but broke through the sacred Bonds of Friendship, and turned even [153]a Thief for Gold which he did not want, as he was already very rich. Oh! said he, what is the Heart of Man made of? Why am I condemned to live among People who have no Sincerity, and who barter the most sacred Ties of Friendship and Humanity for the Dirt that we tread on? Had I lost my Gold and found a real Friend, I should have been happy with the Exchange, but now I am most miserable. After some Time he wiped off his Tears, and being determined not to be so imposed on, he had Recourse to Cunning and the Arts of Life. He went to his pretended Friend with a chearful Countenance, told him he had more Gold to hide, and desired him to appoint a Time when they might go together, and open the Earth to put it into the same Pot; the other, in Hopes of getting more Wealth, appointed the next Evening. They went together, opened the Ground, and found the Money they had first placed there, for the artful Wretch, he so much confided in, had conveyed it again into the Pot, in order to obtain more. [154]Our Philosopher immediately took the Gold, and putting it into his Pocket, told the other he had now altered his Mind, and should bury it no more, till he found a Man more worthy of his Confidence. See what People lose by being dishonest. This calls to my Mind the Words of the Poet:

This lesson, almost like it was from beyond the grave, filled him with such awe and respect for piety and virtue that, before he took the treasure, he knelt down and fervently prayed to use it wisely and fairly. He then moved the chest away; but how he got it to England, the reader [151] will find out in the story of his life. It might be good to give the reader some background on the philosopher who hid this treasure and went to great lengths to find a true friend to share it with. Since Tom had reason to honor his memory, he was very thorough in his inquiries and learned this about him: he was knowledgeable about nature and trade; he was pious, friendly, and had a sweet and pleasant demeanor. He made his fortune through commerce, and with no relatives to leave it to, he traveled through Arabia, Persia, India, Libya, and Utopia in search of a real friend. In this quest, he met several people with whom he exchanged kindness, who were polite and accommodating, but they often disappeared over trivial matters; or as soon as he claimed to be in need and asked for their help, they left him to handle his struggles alone. How true is that saying in our books, Adversity is the touchstone of friendship. Eventually, however, he [152] met the Utopian philosopher, or the wise man of the mountain, as he's called, and thought he had found the friend he was looking for; for although he often pretended to be in distress and abandoned by fortune, this man always helped him, with such cheerfulness and sincerity, that he concluded he had found the only person he could trust with both his money and his heart. He confided in him enough to ask for help hiding a large sum of money he wanted to conceal, fearing that the local prince, who was absolute, would, on the advice of his treacherous minister, have him killed for his gold. The two philosophers met and hid the money, which the stranger later went to check on, only to find it gone. He was heartbroken when he realized that his friend, whom he had tested often and who had helped him in his distress, could not resist the temptation and broke the sacred bonds of friendship, even becoming [153] a thief for gold he didn’t need since he was already very wealthy. Oh! he exclaimed, what is the heart of man made of? Why am I condemned to live among people who lack sincerity and trade the most sacred ties of friendship and humanity for the dirt we walk on? If I had lost my gold but found a real friend, I would have been happy with that trade, but now I'm utterly miserable. After some time, he wiped away his tears and resolved not to be taken in again; he turned to cunning and life’s strategies. He approached his supposed friend with a cheerful demeanor, told him he had more gold to hide, and asked him to set a time when they could dig together to put it in the same pot; the other, hoping for more wealth, scheduled the next evening. They went together, dug in the ground, and found the money they had originally placed there because the crafty trickster he trusted had secretly returned it to the pot to get more. [154] Our philosopher quickly took the gold, put it in his pocket, and told the other that he had changed his mind and wouldn’t bury it again until he found a man more worthy of his trust. Look at what people lose by being dishonest. This reminds me of the poet's words:

  A Wit's a Feather, and a Chief's a Rod,
  An honest Man's the noblest Work of God.

A mind is a delicate thing, and a leader is a guide,
An honest person is the greatest creation of God.

Remember this Story, and take Care whom you trust; but don't be covetous, sordid and miserable; for the Gold we have is but lent us to do Good with. We received all from the Hand of God, and every Person in Distress hath a just Title to a Portion of it.

Remember this story, and be careful about whom you trust; but don’t be greedy, selfish, or miserable; for the gold we have is only lent to us to do good with. We received everything from the hand of God, and everyone in need has a rightful claim to a share of it.





A L E T T E R  from the P R I N T E R,
which he desires may be inserted.

A L from the P R I N T E R,
which he wants to be published.

S I R,

S I R,

I have done with your Copy, so you may return it to the Vatican, if you please; and pray tell Mr. Angelo to brush up the Cuts, that, in the next Edition, they may give us a good Impression.

I’m done with your Copy, so you can return it to the Vatican, if you want; and please tell Mr. Angelo to refresh the Cuts, so that in the next Edition, they can give us a good Impression.

The Foresight and Sagacity of Mrs. Margery 's Dog calls to my Mind a Circumstance, which happened when I was a Boy. Some Gentlemen in the Place where I lived had been hunting, and were got under a great Tree to shelter themselves from a Thunder Storm; when a Dog that always followed one of the Gentlemen leaped up his Horse several Times, and then ran away and barked. At last, the Gentlemen all followed to see what he would be at; and they were no sooner gone from the Tree, but it was shivered in Pieces by Lightning! 'Tis remarkable, that as soon as they came from the Tree the Dog appeared to be very well satisfied, and barked no more. The Gentleman after this always regarded the Dog as his Friend, treated him in his Old [156]Age with great Tenderness, and fed him with Milk as long as he lived.

The insight and cleverness of Mrs. Margery's dog remind me of an experience from my childhood. Some gentlemen in the area where I lived had been hunting and took shelter under a large tree during a thunderstorm. One man's dog, who always followed him, jumped up on his horse several times and then ran away barking. Eventually, the gentlemen all followed the dog to see what he was up to, and no sooner had they left the tree than it was struck by lightning and shattered! Interestingly, as soon as they moved away from the tree, the dog seemed very pleased and stopped barking. From that point on, the gentleman always regarded the dog as his friend, treated him with great care in his old age, and fed him milk for as long as he lived.

My old Master Grierson had also a Dog, that ought to be mentioned with Regard; for he used to set him up as a Pattern of Sagacity and Prudence, not only to his Journeymen, but to the whole Neighbours. This Dog had been taught a thousand Tricks, and among other Feats he could dance, tumble, and drink Wine and Punch till he was little better than mad. It happened one Day, when the Men had made him drunk with Liquor, and he was capering about, that he fell into a large Vessel of boiling Water. They soon got him out, and he recovered; but he was very much hurt, and being sensible, that this Accident arose from his losing his Senses by Drinking, he would never taste any strong Liquor afterwards.--My old Master, on relating this Story, and shewing the Dog, used to address us thus, Ah, my Friends, had you but half the Sense of this poor Dog here, you would never get fuddled, and be Fools.

My old master Grierson also had a dog that deserves a mention; he would often showcase him as an example of intelligence and caution, not just to his workers, but to all the neighbors. This dog had learned a thousand tricks, and among other skills, he could dance, tumble, and drink wine and punch until he was barely in control of himself. One day, after the men had gotten him drunk, he was prancing around and accidentally fell into a large pot of boiling water. They quickly pulled him out, and he recovered, but he was seriously hurt. Realizing that this accident happened because he lost his senses from drinking, he never touched strong liquor again. When my old master told this story and showed the dog, he would say to us, Ah, my friends, if you had just half the sense of this poor dog here, you would never get drunk and look foolish.

I am, Sir, Your's, &c.      W.B.

I am, Sir, Yours, &c. W.B.

The B O O K S usually read by the Scholars of Mrs. T W O-S H O E S, are these, and are sold at Mr. N E W B E R Y's at the Bible and Sun in St. Paul's Church-yard.

The books typically read by the scholars of Mrs. T W O-S H O E S are these, and they are sold at Mr. N E W B E R Y's at the Bible and Sun in St. Paul's Church-yard.

1. The Christmas-Box, Price 1d.
2. The History of Giles Gingerbread, 1d.
3. The New-Year's-Gift, 2d.
4. The Easter-Gift, 2d.
5. The Whitsuntide-Gift, 2d.
6. The Twelfth-Day-Gift, 1s.
7. The Valentine's-Gift, 6d.
8. The F A I R I N G or Golden Toy, 6d.
9. The Royal Battledore, 2d.
10. The Royal Primer, 3d.
11. The Little Lottery-Book, 3d.
12. The Little Pretty Pocket-Book, 6d.
13. The Infant Tutor, or pretty Little Spelling-Book, 6d.
14. The Pretty Book for Children, 6d.
15. Tom Trapwit's Art of being Merry and Wife, 6d.
16. Tom Trip's History of Birds and Beasts, Price 6d.
17. Food for the Mind, or a New Riddle Book, 6d.
18.[158] Fables in Verse and Prose by Æsop, and your old Friend Woglog, 6d.
19. The Holy Bible abridged, 6d.
20. The History of the Creation, 6d.
21. A new and noble History of England, 6d.
22. Philosophy for Children, 6d.
23. Philosophy of Tops and Balls, 1s.
24. Pretty Poems for Children 3 Foot high, 6d.
25. Pretty Poems for Children 6 Foot high, 1s.
26. Lilliputian Magazine, or Golden Library, 1s.
27. Short Histories for the Improvement of the Mind, 1s.
28. The New Testament, adapted to the Capacities of Children, 1s.
29. The Life of our Blessed S A V I O U R, 1s.
30. The Lives of the Holy Apostles and Evangelists, 1s.
31. The Lives of the Fathers of the Christian Church for the first four Centuries, 1s.
32. A Concise Exposition of the Book of Common Prayer, with the Lives of its Compilers, 1s.
33. The Museum for Youth, 1s.
34.[159] An Easy Spelling Dictionary for those who would write correctly, 1s.
35. A Pocket Dictionary for those who would know the precise Meaning of all the Words in the English Language, 3s.
36. A Compendious History of England, 2s.
37. The Present State of Great Britain, 2s.
38. A Little Book of Letters and Cards, to teach young Ladies and Gentlemen how to write to their Friends in a polite, easy and elegant Manner, 1s.
39. The Gentleman and Lady's Key to Polite Literature; or, A Compendious Dictionary of Fabulous History, 2s.
40. The News-Readers Pocket-Book; or, A Military Dictionary, 2s.
41. A Curious Collection of Voyages, selected from the Writers of all Nations, 10 Vol. Pr. bound 1l.
42. A Curious Collection of Travels, selected from the Writers of all Nations, 10 Vol; Pr. bound 1l.

By the KING'S Royal Patent,

By the KING's Royal Consent,

Are Sold by J. NEWBERY, at the Bible and Sun in St. Paul's Church-Yard.

Are sold by J. NEWBERY, at the Bible and Sun in St. Paul's Churchyard.

1. Dr. James's Powders for Fevers, the Small-Pox, Measles, Colds, &c. 2s. 6d.
2. Dr. Hooper's Female Pills, 1s.
3. Mr. Greenough's Tincture for Teeth, 1s.
4. Ditto for the Tooth-Ach, 1s.
5. Stomachic Lozenges for the Heart-burn, Cholic, Indigestion, &c. 1s. 6d.
6. The Balsam of Health, or, (as it is by some called) the Balsam of Life, 1s. 6d.
7. The Original Daffy's Elixir, 1s. 3d.
8. Dr. Anderson's Scots Pills, 1s.
9. The Original British Oil, 1s.
10. The Alterative Pills, which are a safe, and certain Cure for the King's Evil, and all Scrophulous Complaints, 5s. the Box, containing 40 Doses.----See a Dissertation on these Disorders sold at the Place above-mentioned, Price 6d.

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