This is a modern-English version of Some Christmas Stories, originally written by Dickens, Charles.
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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Transcribed from the 1911 Chapman and Hall Christmas Stories edition, Volume 1, by David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org
Charles DickensShort Christmas Stories
by
Charles Dickens
CONTENTS.
PAGE |
PAGE PAGE |
Christmas Tree |
|
What Christmas Means as We Get Older |
|
The Story of the Underdog |
|
The Kid's Story |
|
The Schoolboy's Tale |
|
No One's Story |
I have been looking on, this
evening, at a merry company of children assembled round that
pretty German toy, a Christmas Tree. The tree was planted
in the middle of a great round table, and towered high above
their heads. It was brilliantly lighted by a multitude of
little tapers; and everywhere sparkled and glittered with bright
objects. There were rosy-cheeked dolls, hiding behind the
green leaves; and there were real watches (with movable hands, at
least, and an endless capacity of being wound up) dangling from
innumerable twigs; there were French-polished tables, chairs,
bedsteads, wardrobes, eight-day clocks, and various other
articles of domestic furniture (wonderfully made, in tin, at
Wolverhampton), perched among the boughs, as if in preparation
for some fairy housekeeping; there were jolly, broad-faced little
men, much more agreeable in appearance than many real
men—and no wonder, for their heads took off, and showed
them to be full of sugar-plums; there were fiddles and drums;
there were tambourines, books, work-boxes, paint-boxes,
sweetmeat-boxes, peep-show boxes, and all kinds of boxes; there
were trinkets for the elder girls, far brighter than any grown-up
gold and jewels; there were baskets and pincushions in all
devices; there were guns, swords, and banners; there were witches
standing in enchanted rings of pasteboard, to tell fortunes;
there were teetotums, humming-tops, needle-cases, pen-wipers,
smelling-bottles, conversation-cards, bouquet-holders; real
fruit, made artificially dazzling with gold leaf; imitation
apples, pears, and walnuts, crammed with surprises; in short, as
a pretty child, before me, delightedly whispered to another
pretty child, her bosom friend, “There was everything, and
more.” This motley collection of odd objects,
clustering on the tree like magic fruit, and flashing back the
bright looks directed towards it from every side—some of
the diamond-eyes admiring it were hardly on a level with the
table, and a few were languishing in timid wonder on the bosoms
of pretty mothers, aunts, and nurses—made a lively
realisation of the fancies of childhood; and set me thinking how
all the trees that grow and all the things that come into
existence on the earth, have their wild adornments at that
well-remembered time.
p. 1A
CHRISTMAS TREE.
[1850]
I have been looking on, this evening, at a merry company of children assembled round that pretty German toy, a Christmas Tree. The tree was planted in the middle of a great round table, and towered high above their heads. It was brilliantly lighted by a multitude of little tapers; and everywhere sparkled and glittered with bright objects. There were rosy-cheeked dolls, hiding behind the green leaves; and there were real watches (with movable hands, at least, and an endless capacity of being wound up) dangling from innumerable twigs; there were French-polished tables, chairs, bedsteads, wardrobes, eight-day clocks, and various other articles of domestic furniture (wonderfully made, in tin, at Wolverhampton), perched among the boughs, as if in preparation for some fairy housekeeping; there were jolly, broad-faced little men, much more agreeable in appearance than many real men—and no wonder, for their heads took off, and showed them to be full of sugar-plums; there were fiddles and drums; there were tambourines, books, work-boxes, paint-boxes, sweetmeat-boxes, peep-show boxes, and all kinds of boxes; there were trinkets for the elder girls, far brighter than any grown-up gold and jewels; there were baskets and pincushions in all devices; there were guns, swords, and banners; there were witches standing in enchanted rings of pasteboard, to tell fortunes; there were teetotums, humming-tops, needle-cases, pen-wipers, smelling-bottles, conversation-cards, bouquet-holders; real fruit, made artificially dazzling with gold leaf; imitation apples, pears, and walnuts, crammed with surprises; in short, as a pretty child, before me, delightedly whispered to another pretty child, her bosom friend, “There was everything, and more.” This motley collection of odd objects, clustering on the tree like magic fruit, and flashing back the bright looks directed towards it from every side—some of the diamond-eyes admiring it were hardly on a level with the table, and a few were languishing in timid wonder on the bosoms of pretty mothers, aunts, and nurses—made a lively realisation of the fancies of childhood; and set me thinking how all the trees that grow and all the things that come into existence on the earth, have their wild adornments at that well-remembered time.
I’ve been watching a cheerful group of children this evening gathered around that charming German creation, a Christmas Tree. The tree was set in the center of a large round table, standing high above their heads. It was brightly lit by a multitude of small candles and sparkled everywhere with shiny objects. There were rosy-cheeked dolls peeking out from behind the green leaves, and real watches (at least with moving hands and an endless ability to be wound up) hanging from countless branches; there were polished tables, chairs, beds, wardrobes, eight-day clocks, and various other pieces of furniture (wonderfully made from tin in Wolverhampton) nestled among the branches, as if preparing for some magical housekeeping; there were jolly, broad-faced little men, much more pleasant to look at than many real men—and it’s no surprise, since their heads came off to reveal they were filled with candies; there were fiddles and drums; tambourines, books, sewing kits, paint sets, candy boxes, peep-show boxes, and all kinds of boxes; there were trinkets for the older girls, brighter than any adults’ gold and jewels; there were baskets and pincushions in all designs; guns, swords, and flags; witches standing in enchanted rings made of cardboard, ready to tell fortunes; spinning tops, humming tops, needle cases, pen wipes, perfume bottles, conversation cards, bouquet holders; real fruit made artificially dazzling with gold leaf; fake apples, pears, and walnuts stuffed with surprises; in short, as a lovely child whispered delightedly to another lovely child, her best friend, “There was everything, and more.” This colorful collection of odd items clustered on the tree like magical fruit, reflecting the bright faces gazing at it from every angle—some of the wide-eyed admirers were barely level with the table, while a few were languishing in shy wonder on the laps of pretty mothers, aunts, and nurses—created a lively realization of childhood wishes; and made me think about how all the trees that grow and everything that comes into existence on earth has its wild decorations at that well-remembered time.
Being now at home again, and alone, the only person in the house awake, my thoughts are drawn back, by a fascination which I do not care to resist, to my own childhood. I begin to consider, what do we all remember best upon the branches of the Christmas Tree of our own young Christmas days, by which we climbed to real life.
Being back at home now, and all alone, the only person in the house awake, I find myself drawn back to my childhood, a pull I don’t want to fight. I start to think about what we all remember most on the branches of the Christmas tree from our own childhood Christmases, which helped us reach real life.
Straight, in the middle of the room, cramped in the freedom of its growth by no encircling walls or soon-reached ceiling, a shadowy tree arises; and, looking up into the dreamy brightness of its top—for I observe in this tree the singular property that it appears to grow downward towards the earth—I look into my youngest Christmas recollections!
Right in the center of the room, restricted in its growth by no surrounding walls or easily reached ceiling, a shadowy tree stands tall; and, gazing up into the dreamy brightness of its top—for I notice something unique about this tree, that it seems to grow downward towards the earth—I find myself looking into my earliest Christmas memories!
All toys at first, I find. Up yonder, among the green holly and red berries, is the Tumbler with his hands in his pockets, who wouldn’t lie down, but whenever he was put upon the floor, persisted in rolling his fat body about, until he rolled himself still, and brought those lobster eyes of his to bear upon me—when I affected to laugh very much, but in my heart of hearts was extremely doubtful of him. Close beside him is that infernal snuff-box, out of which there sprang a demoniacal Counsellor in a black gown, with an obnoxious head of hair, and a red cloth mouth, wide open, who was not to be endured on any terms, but could not be put away either; for he used suddenly, in a highly magnified state, to fly out of Mammoth Snuff-boxes in dreams, when least expected. Nor is the frog with cobbler’s wax on his tail, far off; for there was no knowing where he wouldn’t jump; and when he flew over the candle, and came upon one’s hand with that spotted back—red on a green ground—he was horrible. The cardboard lady in a blue-silk skirt, who was stood up against the candlestick to dance, and whom I see on the same branch, was milder, and was beautiful; but I can’t say as much for the larger cardboard man, who used to be hung against the wall and pulled by a string; there was a sinister expression in that nose of his; and when he got his legs round his neck (which he very often did), he was ghastly, and not a creature to be alone with.
All toys at first, I think. Up there, among the green holly and red berries, is the Tumbler with his hands in his pockets, who wouldn’t lie down, but whenever he was put on the floor, kept rolling his chubby body around until he rolled himself still and fixed those lobster eyes on me—when I pretended to laugh a lot, but deep down I was really unsure about him. Right next to him is that annoying snuff-box, from which a demonic Counsellor in a black gown emerged, with a ridiculous head of hair and a wide-open red mouth that was unbearable, yet couldn’t be ignored either; he would unexpectedly fly out of Giant Snuff-boxes in dreams when you least expected it. And the frog with cobbler’s wax on his tail isn’t far off; because he could jump anywhere; and when he flew over the candle and landed on your hand with that spotted back—red on a green background—it was terrifying. The cardboard lady in a blue-silk skirt, who was propped up against the candlestick to dance, and whom I see on the same branch, was gentler and beautiful; but I can’t say the same about the larger cardboard man, who used to be hung against the wall and pulled by a string; there was something sinister about his nose; and when he got his legs twisted around his neck (which happened a lot), he looked ghastly, not someone you’d want to be alone with.
When did that dreadful Mask first look at me? Who put it on, and why was I so frightened that the sight of it is an era in my life? It is not a hideous visage in itself; it is even meant to be droll, why then were its stolid features so intolerable? Surely not because it hid the wearer’s face. An apron would have done as much; and though I should have preferred even the apron away, it would not have been absolutely insupportable, like the mask. Was it the immovability of the mask? The doll’s face was immovable, but I was not afraid of her. Perhaps that fixed and set change coming over a real face, infused into my quickened heart some remote suggestion and dread of the universal change that is to come on every face, and make it still? Nothing reconciled me to it. No drummers, from whom proceeded a melancholy chirping on the turning of a handle; no regiment of soldiers, with a mute band, taken out of a box, and fitted, one by one, upon a stiff and lazy little set of lazy-tongs; no old woman, made of wires and a brown-paper composition, cutting up a pie for two small children; could give me a permanent comfort, for a long time. Nor was it any satisfaction to be shown the Mask, and see that it was made of paper, or to have it locked up and be assured that no one wore it. The mere recollection of that fixed face, the mere knowledge of its existence anywhere, was sufficient to awake me in the night all perspiration and horror, with, “O I know it’s coming! O the mask!”
When did that terrible Mask first look at me? Who put it on, and why was I so scared that just seeing it marks a significant time in my life? It’s not an ugly face by itself; it’s even supposed to be funny, so why were its dull features so unbearable? Surely not just because it covered the wearer’s face. An apron would have done the same; and while I would have preferred even that away, it wouldn’t have been completely unbearable like the mask. Was it the unchanging nature of the mask? The doll's face was also expressionless, but I wasn't afraid of her. Maybe that rigid, set change happening to a real face stirred up some distant fear in my heart about the inevitable change coming to every face, making it lifeless? Nothing could make me feel better about it. No drummers making a sad chirping sound as they turned a handle; no regiment of soldiers, with a silent band, taken out of a box and set up one by one on a stiff and lazy little pair of tongs; no old woman made of wires and brown paper, cutting up a pie for two small children; could give me any lasting comfort for a long time. And it didn’t help to be shown the Mask and see that it was made of paper, or to have it locked away and be assured that no one wore it. The mere memory of that fixed face, the mere knowledge that it existed anywhere, was enough to wake me up in the night, drenched in sweat and terror, thinking, “Oh, I know it’s coming! Oh, the mask!”
I never wondered what the dear old donkey with the panniers—there he is! was made of, then! His hide was real to the touch, I recollect. And the great black horse with the round red spots all over him—the horse that I could even get upon—I never wondered what had brought him to that strange condition, or thought that such a horse was not commonly seen at Newmarket. The four horses of no colour, next to him, that went into the waggon of cheeses, and could be taken out and stabled under the piano, appear to have bits of fur-tippet for their tails, and other bits for their manes, and to stand on pegs instead of legs, but it was not so when they were brought home for a Christmas present. They were all right, then; neither was their harness unceremoniously nailed into their chests, as appears to be the case now. The tinkling works of the music-cart, I did find out, to be made of quill tooth-picks and wire; and I always thought that little tumbler in his shirt sleeves, perpetually swarming up one side of a wooden frame, and coming down, head foremost, on the other, rather a weak-minded person—though good-natured; but the Jacob’s Ladder, next him, made of little squares of red wood, that went flapping and clattering over one another, each developing a different picture, and the whole enlivened by small bells, was a mighty marvel and a great delight.
I never really thought about what the old donkey with the saddlebags—there he is!—was made of! His skin felt real, I remember. And the big black horse with the round red spots all over him—the horse I could actually ride—I never questioned what had caused him to be in such a strange state, nor did I think that a horse like that wasn’t usually seen at Newmarket. The four colorless horses next to him, which went into the cheese wagon and could be taken out and kept under the piano, seemed to have pieces of fur for their tails and other pieces for their manes, standing on pegs instead of legs, but that wasn’t the case when we brought them home as a Christmas gift. They were perfectly fine then; their harness wasn’t crudely nailed into their chests like it seems to be now. I figured out that the tinkling mechanisms of the music cart were made from toothpicks and wire; and I always thought that little tumbler in his shirt sleeves, constantly climbing up one side of a wooden frame and coming down headfirst on the other, was a bit silly—though good-hearted. But the Jacob’s Ladder next to him, made of little red wooden squares that flapped and clattered over each other, each showing a different picture and made lively by little bells, was truly a marvel and a great joy.
Ah! The Doll’s house!—of which I was not proprietor, but where I visited. I don’t admire the Houses of Parliament half so much as that stone-fronted mansion with real glass windows, and door-steps, and a real balcony—greener than I ever see now, except at watering places; and even they afford but a poor imitation. And though it did open all at once, the entire house-front (which was a blow, I admit, as cancelling the fiction of a staircase), it was but to shut it up again, and I could believe. Even open, there were three distinct rooms in it: a sitting-room and bed-room, elegantly furnished, and best of all, a kitchen, with uncommonly soft fire-irons, a plentiful assortment of diminutive utensils—oh, the warming-pan!—and a tin man-cook in profile, who was always going to fry two fish. What Barmecide justice have I done to the noble feasts wherein the set of wooden platters figured, each with its own peculiar delicacy, as a ham or turkey, glued tight on to it, and garnished with something green, which I recollect as moss! Could all the Temperance Societies of these later days, united, give me such a tea-drinking as I have had through the means of yonder little set of blue crockery, which really would hold liquid (it ran out of the small wooden cask, I recollect, and tasted of matches), and which made tea, nectar. And if the two legs of the ineffectual little sugar-tongs did tumble over one another, and want purpose, like Punch’s hands, what does it matter? And if I did once shriek out, as a poisoned child, and strike the fashionable company with consternation, by reason of having drunk a little teaspoon, inadvertently dissolved in too hot tea, I was never the worse for it, except by a powder!
Ah! The Doll's house!—which I didn't own, but where I used to visit. I don’t admire the Houses of Parliament nearly as much as that stone-fronted mansion with real glass windows, doorsteps, and a real balcony—greener than I ever see now, except at resorts; and even those are just a poor imitation. And even though it did open all at once, the whole house front (which was a letdown, I admit, as it ruined the illusion of a staircase), it was only to close it up again, and I could believe. Even when open, it had three distinct rooms: a sitting room and a bedroom, nicely furnished, and best of all, a kitchen, with surprisingly soft fire irons, a plentiful assortment of tiny utensils—oh, the warming pan!—and a tin man-cook in profile, who was always about to fry two fish. What Barmecide justice have I done to the grand meals where the set of wooden plates appeared, each with its own special dish, like ham or turkey, glued tightly onto it, and garnished with something green, which I remember as moss! Could all the Temperance Societies of today, if united, give me such a tea-drinking experience as I had with that little set of blue crockery, which actually held liquid (it spilled out of the small wooden barrel, I remember, and tasted like matches), and which turned tea into nectar. And if the two legs of the ineffective little sugar tongs did tumble over one another and lacked purpose, like Punch’s hands, what does it matter? And if I once shrieked out, like a poisoned child, and shocked the fashionable crowd because I accidentally drank a tiny teaspoon that had dissolved in too hot tea, I was never the worse for it, except for a bit of a hangover!
Upon the next branches of the tree, lower down, hard by the green roller and miniature gardening-tools, how thick the books begin to hang. Thin books, in themselves, at first, but many of them, and with deliciously smooth covers of bright red or green. What fat black letters to begin with! “A was an archer, and shot at a frog.” Of course he was. He was an apple-pie also, and there he is! He was a good many things in his time, was A, and so were most of his friends, except X, who had so little versatility, that I never knew him to get beyond Xerxes or Xantippe—like Y, who was always confined to a Yacht or a Yew Tree; and Z condemned for ever to be a Zebra or a Zany. But, now, the very tree itself changes, and becomes a bean-stalk—the marvellous bean-stalk up which Jack climbed to the Giant’s house! And now, those dreadfully interesting, double-headed giants, with their clubs over their shoulders, begin to stride along the boughs in a perfect throng, dragging knights and ladies home for dinner by the hair of their heads. And Jack—how noble, with his sword of sharpness, and his shoes of swiftness! Again those old meditations come upon me as I gaze up at him; and I debate within myself whether there was more than one Jack (which I am loth to believe possible), or only one genuine original admirable Jack, who achieved all the recorded exploits.
On the lower branches of the tree, right next to the green roller and the tiny gardening tools, the books start to hang thickly. They are initially thin books, but there are so many of them, with delightfully smooth covers in bright red or green. What bold black letters to start with! “A was an archer, and shot at a frog.” Of course he was. He was also an apple pie, and there he is! A was a lot of things in his time, as were most of his friends, except X, who had so little range that I never saw him get past Xerxes or Xantippe—just like Y, who was always stuck with a Yacht or a Yew Tree; and Z, who was forever condemned to be a Zebra or a Zany. But now, the very tree itself transforms into a bean stalk—the incredible bean stalk that Jack climbed to the Giant’s house! And now, those fascinating, double-headed giants, with their clubs over their shoulders, start to swagger along the branches in a perfect crowd, dragging knights and ladies home for dinner by their hair. And Jack—how noble, with his sharp sword and swift shoes! Those old thoughts come back to me as I look up at him; and I wonder to myself whether there was more than one Jack (which I’m reluctant to believe), or just one true original admirable Jack who accomplished all the heroic feats.
Good for Christmas-time is the ruddy colour of the cloak, in which—the tree making a forest of itself for her to trip through, with her basket—Little Red Riding-Hood comes to me one Christmas Eve to give me information of the cruelty and treachery of that dissembling Wolf who ate her grandmother, without making any impression on his appetite, and then ate her, after making that ferocious joke about his teeth. She was my first love. I felt that if I could have married Little Red Riding-Hood, I should have known perfect bliss. But, it was not to be; and there was nothing for it but to look out the Wolf in the Noah’s Ark there, and put him late in the procession on the table, as a monster who was to be degraded. O the wonderful Noah’s Ark! It was not found seaworthy when put in a washing-tub, and the animals were crammed in at the roof, and needed to have their legs well shaken down before they could be got in, even there—and then, ten to one but they began to tumble out at the door, which was but imperfectly fastened with a wire latch—but what was that against it! Consider the noble fly, a size or two smaller than the elephant: the lady-bird, the butterfly—all triumphs of art! Consider the goose, whose feet were so small, and whose balance was so indifferent, that he usually tumbled forward, and knocked down all the animal creation. Consider Noah and his family, like idiotic tobacco-stoppers; and how the leopard stuck to warm little fingers; and how the tails of the larger animals used gradually to resolve themselves into frayed bits of string!
The bright red color of the cloak is perfect for Christmas time, as Little Red Riding-Hood makes her way through the forest with her basket, coming to me one Christmas Eve to tell me about the cruelty and deceit of that tricky Wolf who ate her grandmother without losing his appetite, and then went on to devour her after making that awful joke about his teeth. She was my first love. I felt that if I could have married Little Red Riding-Hood, I would have experienced complete happiness. But it wasn't meant to be; all I could do was find the Wolf in the Noah’s Ark over there and place him last in the procession on the table, as a monster meant to be humiliated. Oh, the amazing Noah’s Ark! It didn’t hold up well when placed in a washing tub, and the animals were stuffed in at the top, needing a good shake to fit in at all—and then, chances were they'd start falling out at the door, which was barely fastened with a wire latch—but what did that matter? Think about the noble fly, just a bit smaller than the elephant: the ladybug, the butterfly—all masterpieces! Think about the goose, with such small feet and such bad balance that it usually fell forward, knocking over all the other animals. Think about Noah and his family, like silly tobacco stoppers; and how the leopard stuck to warm little fingers; and how the tails of the bigger animals would eventually turn into frayed bits of string!
Hush! Again a forest, and somebody up in a tree—not Robin Hood, not Valentine, not the Yellow Dwarf (I have passed him and all Mother Bunch’s wonders, without mention), but an Eastern King with a glittering scimitar and turban. By Allah! two Eastern Kings, for I see another, looking over his shoulder! Down upon the grass, at the tree’s foot, lies the full length of a coal-black Giant, stretched asleep, with his head in a lady’s lap; and near them is a glass box, fastened with four locks of shining steel, in which he keeps the lady prisoner when he is awake. I see the four keys at his girdle now. The lady makes signs to the two kings in the tree, who softly descend. It is the setting-in of the bright Arabian Nights.
Hush! Again, it’s a forest, and someone is up in a tree—not Robin Hood, not Valentine, not the Yellow Dwarf (I’ve passed him and all of Mother Bunch’s wonders without mentioning them), but an Eastern King with a shiny scimitar and a turban. By Allah! There are two Eastern Kings, because I see another one looking over his shoulder! Down on the grass, at the base of the tree, lies a coal-black Giant, sprawled asleep with his head in a lady’s lap; and nearby is a glass box, sealed with four shining steel locks, where he keeps the lady imprisoned when he’s awake. I can see the four keys hanging from his belt now. The lady signals to the two kings in the tree, who quietly come down. It’s the beginning of the bright Arabian Nights.
Oh, now all common things become uncommon and enchanted to me. All lamps are wonderful; all rings are talismans. Common flower-pots are full of treasure, with a little earth scattered on the top; trees are for Ali Baba to hide in; beef-steaks are to throw down into the Valley of Diamonds, that the precious stones may stick to them, and be carried by the eagles to their nests, whence the traders, with loud cries, will scare them. Tarts are made, according to the recipe of the Vizier’s son of Bussorah, who turned pastrycook after he was set down in his drawers at the gate of Damascus; cobblers are all Mustaphas, and in the habit of sewing up people cut into four pieces, to whom they are taken blind-fold.
Oh, now all ordinary things feel special and magical to me. All lamps are amazing; all rings are charms. Regular flower pots are full of treasures, with a little dirt sprinkled on top; trees are places for Ali Baba to hide; steaks are meant to be tossed into the Valley of Diamonds so that the gems will stick to them and be carried off by the eagles to their nests, where traders will scare them away with loud calls. Tarts are made using the recipe from the Vizier’s son of Bussorah, who became a pastry chef after he was dropped off in his pajamas at the gate of Damascus; cobblers are all Mustaphas, and they sew up people who have been cut into four pieces, to whom they are taken blindfolded.
Any iron ring let into stone is the entrance to a cave which only waits for the magician, and the little fire, and the necromancy, that will make the earth shake. All the dates imported come from the same tree as that unlucky date, with whose shell the merchant knocked out the eye of the genie’s invisible son. All olives are of the stock of that fresh fruit, concerning which the Commander of the Faithful overheard the boy conduct the fictitious trial of the fraudulent olive merchant; all apples are akin to the apple purchased (with two others) from the Sultan’s gardener for three sequins, and which the tall black slave stole from the child. All dogs are associated with the dog, really a transformed man, who jumped upon the baker’s counter, and put his paw on the piece of bad money. All rice recalls the rice which the awful lady, who was a ghoule, could only peck by grains, because of her nightly feasts in the burial-place. My very rocking-horse,—there he is, with his nostrils turned completely inside-out, indicative of Blood!—should have a peg in his neck, by virtue thereof to fly away with me, as the wooden horse did with the Prince of Persia, in the sight of all his father’s Court.
Any iron ring set into stone is the entrance to a cave that just waits for the magician, the small fire, and the magic that will make the earth tremble. All the dates that come in are from the same tree as the unlucky date, which the merchant used to poke out the eye of the genie’s unseen son. All olives come from the same stock as that fresh fruit, about which the Commander of the Faithful overheard the boy conducting the fake trial of the deceitful olive merchant; all apples are related to the apple bought (along with two others) from the Sultan’s gardener for three sequins, and which the tall black slave stole from the child. All dogs are linked to the dog, really a transformed man, who jumped on the baker’s counter and put his paw on the piece of counterfeit money. All rice reminds me of the rice that the horrifying lady, who was a ghoul, could only peck at grain by grain because of her nightly feasts in the graveyard. My very rocking horse—there he is, with his nostrils completely turned inside out, proof of Blood!—should have a peg in his neck, so he could fly away with me, like the wooden horse did with the Prince of Persia, in front of all his father’s Court.
Yes, on every object that I recognise among those upper branches of my Christmas Tree, I see this fairy light! When I wake in bed, at daybreak, on the cold, dark, winter mornings, the white snow dimly beheld, outside, through the frost on the window-pane, I hear Dinarzade. “Sister, sister, if you are yet awake, I pray you finish the history of the Young King of the Black Islands.” Scheherazade replies, “If my lord the Sultan will suffer me to live another day, sister, I will not only finish that, but tell you a more wonderful story yet.” Then, the gracious Sultan goes out, giving no orders for the execution, and we all three breathe again.
Yes, on every object I recognize among the top branches of my Christmas Tree, I see this fairy light! When I wake up in bed at dawn, on those cold, dark winter mornings, with the white snow faintly visible outside through the frost on the window, I hear Dinarzade. “Sister, sister, if you’re still awake, please finish the story of the Young King of the Black Islands.” Scheherazade replies, “If my lord the Sultan allows me to live another day, sister, I’ll not only finish that but tell you an even more wonderful story.” Then, the kind Sultan leaves, giving no orders for the execution, and we all three breathe a sigh of relief.
At this height of my tree I begin to see, cowering among the leaves—it may be born of turkey, or of pudding, or mince pie, or of these many fancies, jumbled with Robinson Crusoe on his desert island, Philip Quarll among the monkeys, Sandford and Merton with Mr. Barlow, Mother Bunch, and the Mask—or it may be the result of indigestion, assisted by imagination and over-doctoring—a prodigious nightmare. It is so exceedingly indistinct, that I don’t know why it’s frightful—but I know it is. I can only make out that it is an immense array of shapeless things, which appear to be planted on a vast exaggeration of the lazy-tongs that used to bear the toy soldiers, and to be slowly coming close to my eyes, and receding to an immeasurable distance. When it comes closest, it is worse. In connection with it I descry remembrances of winter nights incredibly long; of being sent early to bed, as a punishment for some small offence, and waking in two hours, with a sensation of having been asleep two nights; of the laden hopelessness of morning ever dawning; and the oppression of a weight of remorse.
At this height in my tree, I start to see, huddled among the leaves—it could come from turkey, pudding, or mince pie, or from a mix of many ideas, scrambled together with Robinson Crusoe on his deserted island, Philip Quarll with the monkeys, Sandford and Merton with Mr. Barlow, Mother Bunch, and the Mask—or it might just be a product of indigestion, fueled by imagination and too many doctors—a massive nightmare. It's so fuzzy that I can't figure out why it's scary—but I know it is. All I can make out is a huge collection of formless things that seem to be resting on an exaggerated version of the lazy-tongs that used to hold toy soldiers, slowly moving closer to my eyes and then fading into a vast distance. When it gets closest, it's even worse. Connected to it, I see memories of incredibly long winter nights; of being sent to bed early as punishment for a minor offense, and waking up two hours later, feeling like I'd been asleep for two nights; of the heavy hopelessness of morning ever arriving; and the burden of a weight of guilt.
And now, I see a wonderful row of little lights rise smoothly out of the ground, before a vast green curtain. Now, a bell rings—a magic bell, which still sounds in my ears unlike all other bells—and music plays, amidst a buzz of voices, and a fragrant smell of orange-peel and oil. Anon, the magic bell commands the music to cease, and the great green curtain rolls itself up majestically, and The Play begins! The devoted dog of Montargis avenges the death of his master, foully murdered in the Forest of Bondy; and a humorous Peasant with a red nose and a very little hat, whom I take from this hour forth to my bosom as a friend (I think he was a Waiter or an Hostler at a village Inn, but many years have passed since he and I have met), remarks that the sassigassity of that dog is indeed surprising; and evermore this jocular conceit will live in my remembrance fresh and unfading, overtopping all possible jokes, unto the end of time. Or now, I learn with bitter tears how poor Jane Shore, dressed all in white, and with her brown hair hanging down, went starving through the streets; or how George Barnwell killed the worthiest uncle that ever man had, and was afterwards so sorry for it that he ought to have been let off. Comes swift to comfort me, the Pantomime—stupendous Phenomenon!—when clowns are shot from loaded mortars into the great chandelier, bright constellation that it is; when Harlequins, covered all over with scales of pure gold, twist and sparkle, like amazing fish; when Pantaloon (whom I deem it no irreverence to compare in my own mind to my grandfather) puts red-hot pokers in his pocket, and cries “Here’s somebody coming!” or taxes the Clown with petty larceny, by saying, “Now, I sawed you do it!” when Everything is capable, with the greatest ease, of being changed into Anything; and “Nothing is, but thinking makes it so.” Now, too, I perceive my first experience of the dreary sensation—often to return in after-life—of being unable, next day, to get back to the dull, settled world; of wanting to live for ever in the bright atmosphere I have quitted; of doting on the little Fairy, with the wand like a celestial Barber’s Pole, and pining for a Fairy immortality along with her. Ah, she comes back, in many shapes, as my eye wanders down the branches of my Christmas Tree, and goes as often, and has never yet stayed by me!
And now, I see a wonderful row of little lights rising smoothly out of the ground, in front of a vast green curtain. Now, a bell rings—a magical bell, which still echoes in my ears unlike any other bell—and music plays, surrounded by a buzz of voices and a fragrant smell of orange peel and oil. Soon, the magic bell commands the music to stop, and the great green curtain rolls up majestically, and The Play begins! The devoted dog of Montargis avenges the death of his master, brutally murdered in the Forest of Bondy; and a humorous peasant with a red nose and a tiny hat, whom I will embrace as a friend from this moment on (I think he was a waiter or a hostler at a village inn, but many years have passed since I last saw him), remarks that the sassiness of that dog is indeed surprising; and this funny quip will forever remain fresh and vivid in my memory, surpassing all possible jokes until the end of time. Or now, I learn with bitter tears how poor Jane Shore, dressed all in white, with her brown hair hanging down, wandered starving through the streets; or how George Barnwell killed the worthiest uncle that anyone could have, and was so sorry afterwards that he should have been forgiven. Then comes the Pantomime to comfort me—what an incredible spectacle!—when clowns are shot from loaded mortars into the grand chandelier; when Harlequins, covered in scales of pure gold, twist and sparkle like amazing fish; when Pantaloon (whom I don’t think it’s disrespectful to compare to my grandfather) sticks red-hot pokers in his pocket and shouts, “Here comes somebody!” or accuses the Clown of petty theft, saying, “Now, I saw you do it!” when everything can easily transform into anything; and “Nothing is, but thinking makes it so.” Now, too, I feel for the first time the dreary sensation—often to return later in life—of being unable, the next day, to return to the dull, settled world; of wanting to live forever in the bright atmosphere I've just left; of doting on the little Fairy, with her wand like a celestial barber’s pole, and yearning for a Fairy immortality alongside her. Ah, she returns in many forms as my gaze wanders down the branches of my Christmas Tree, and just as often, she leaves, never staying with me!
Out of this delight springs the toy-theatre,—there it is, with its familiar proscenium, and ladies in feathers, in the boxes!—and all its attendant occupation with paste and glue, and gum, and water colours, in the getting-up of The Miller and his Men, and Elizabeth, or the Exile of Siberia. In spite of a few besetting accidents and failures (particularly an unreasonable disposition in the respectable Kelmar, and some others, to become faint in the legs, and double up, at exciting points of the drama), a teeming world of fancies so suggestive and all-embracing, that, far below it on my Christmas Tree, I see dark, dirty, real Theatres in the day-time, adorned with these associations as with the freshest garlands of the rarest flowers, and charming me yet.
Out of this joy comes the toy theater—there it is, with its familiar stage and ladies in feathered hats in the boxes!—and all the related activities with paste, glue, gum, and watercolors to create The Miller and His Men and Elizabeth, or the Exile of Siberia. Despite a few minor mishaps and failures (especially an odd tendency for the respectable Kelmar and some others to get wobbly and collapse at thrilling moments in the play), there's an overflowing world of ideas so imaginative and all-encompassing that, far below it on my Christmas tree, I see dark, dusty, real theaters in the daytime, decorated with these memories like the freshest garlands of the rarest flowers, still enchanting me.
But hark! The Waits are playing, and they break my childish sleep! What images do I associate with the Christmas music as I see them set forth on the Christmas Tree? Known before all the others, keeping far apart from all the others, they gather round my little bed. An angel, speaking to a group of shepherds in a field; some travellers, with eyes uplifted, following a star; a baby in a manger; a child in a spacious temple, talking with grave men; a solemn figure, with a mild and beautiful face, raising a dead girl by the hand; again, near a city gate, calling back the son of a widow, on his bier, to life; a crowd of people looking through the opened roof of a chamber where he sits, and letting down a sick person on a bed, with ropes; the same, in a tempest, walking on the water to a ship; again, on a sea-shore, teaching a great multitude; again, with a child upon his knee, and other children round; again, restoring sight to the blind, speech to the dumb, hearing to the deaf, health to the sick, strength to the lame, knowledge to the ignorant; again, dying upon a Cross, watched by armed soldiers, a thick darkness coming on, the earth beginning to shake, and only one voice heard, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
But listen! The musicians are playing, and they wake me from my childish sleep! What images come to mind with the Christmas music as I see them displayed on the Christmas Tree? Known before all the others, keeping distant from the rest, they gather around my little bed. An angel speaking to a group of shepherds in a field; some travelers, gazing upward, following a star; a baby in a manger; a child in a large temple, conversing with serious men; a solemn figure with a gentle and beautiful face, bringing a dead girl back to life by the hand; again, near a city gate, bringing back to life the son of a widow who lies on his coffin; a crowd peering through the opened roof of a room where he sits, lowering a sick person on a bed with ropes; the same figure, walking on water during a storm toward a ship; again, on a beach, teaching a large crowd; again, with a child on his knee and other children around; again, giving sight to the blind, speech to the mute, hearing to the deaf, health to the sick, strength to the lame, and knowledge to the ignorant; again, dying on a Cross, watched by armed soldiers, as thick darkness falls, the earth begins to tremble, and only one voice is heard, “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Still, on the lower and maturer branches of the Tree, Christmas associations cluster thick. School-books shut up; Ovid and Virgil silenced; the Rule of Three, with its cool impertinent inquiries, long disposed of; Terence and Plautus acted no more, in an arena of huddled desks and forms, all chipped, and notched, and inked; cricket-bats, stumps, and balls, left higher up, with the smell of trodden grass and the softened noise of shouts in the evening air; the tree is still fresh, still gay. If I no more come home at Christmas-time, there will be boys and girls (thank Heaven!) while the World lasts; and they do! Yonder they dance and play upon the branches of my Tree, God bless them, merrily, and my heart dances and plays too!
Still, on the lower and more mature branches of the Tree, Christmas memories gather thick. Schoolbooks are closed; Ovid and Virgil are quiet; the Rule of Three, with its cool, annoying questions, is long gone; Terence and Plautus aren't performed anymore, in a space of crowded desks and benches, all chipped, notched, and covered in ink; cricket bats, stumps, and balls are left higher up, with the smell of crushed grass and the faint sounds of laughter in the evening air; the tree is still fresh, still cheerful. Even if I don’t come home for Christmas anymore, there will still be boys and girls (thank goodness!) while the world lasts; and there are! Over there, they dance and play on the branches of my Tree, God bless them, happily, and my heart dances and plays too!
And I do come home at Christmas. We all do, or we all should. We all come home, or ought to come home, for a short holiday—the longer, the better—from the great boarding-school, where we are for ever working at our arithmetical slates, to take, and give a rest. As to going a visiting, where can we not go, if we will; where have we not been, when we would; starting our fancy from our Christmas Tree!
And I do come home for Christmas. We all do, or we all should. We all come home, or should come home, for a short holiday—the longer, the better—away from the big boarding school, where we’re always busy with our math exercises, to take a break and relax. As for visiting, where can't we go if we want? Where haven't we been when we wanted to? We start dreaming from our Christmas Tree!
Away into the winter prospect. There are many such upon the tree! On, by low-lying, misty grounds, through fens and fogs, up long hills, winding dark as caverns between thick plantations, almost shutting out the sparkling stars; so, out on broad heights, until we stop at last, with sudden silence, at an avenue. The gate-bell has a deep, half-awful sound in the frosty air; the gate swings open on its hinges; and, as we drive up to a great house, the glancing lights grow larger in the windows, and the opposing rows of trees seem to fall solemnly back on either side, to give us place. At intervals, all day, a frightened hare has shot across this whitened turf; or the distant clatter of a herd of deer trampling the hard frost, has, for the minute, crushed the silence too. Their watchful eyes beneath the fern may be shining now, if we could see them, like the icy dewdrops on the leaves; but they are still, and all is still. And so, the lights growing larger, and the trees falling back before us, and closing up again behind us, as if to forbid retreat, we come to the house.
Away into the winter landscape. There are many like it on the tree! On, through low-lying, misty grounds, across marshes and fogs, up long hills, winding dark like caves between thick woods, almost blocking out the sparkling stars; so, out on wide heights, until we finally stop, suddenly silent, at an avenue. The gatebell sounds deep and eerie in the frosty air; the gate swings open on its hinges; and as we drive up to a large house, the flickering lights in the windows grow bigger, and the rows of trees on either side seem to solemnly step back to make way for us. Throughout the day, a startled hare has dashed across this white turf; or the distant noise of a herd of deer trampling on the hard frost has momentarily shattered the silence. Their watchful eyes beneath the ferns might be shining now, if we could see them, like icy dewdrops on the leaves; but they are still, and everything is quiet. And so, with the lights growing larger and the trees stepping back before us, then closing up again behind us as if to prevent our retreat, we arrive at the house.
There is probably a smell of roasted chestnuts and other good comfortable things all the time, for we are telling Winter Stories—Ghost Stories, or more shame for us—round the Christmas fire; and we have never stirred, except to draw a little nearer to it. But, no matter for that. We came to the house, and it is an old house, full of great chimneys where wood is burnt on ancient dogs upon the hearth, and grim portraits (some of them with grim legends, too) lower distrustfully from the oaken panels of the walls. We are a middle-aged nobleman, and we make a generous supper with our host and hostess and their guests—it being Christmas-time, and the old house full of company—and then we go to bed. Our room is a very old room. It is hung with tapestry. We don’t like the portrait of a cavalier in green, over the fireplace. There are great black beams in the ceiling, and there is a great black bedstead, supported at the foot by two great black figures, who seem to have come off a couple of tombs in the old baronial church in the park, for our particular accommodation. But, we are not a superstitious nobleman, and we don’t mind. Well! we dismiss our servant, lock the door, and sit before the fire in our dressing-gown, musing about a great many things. At length we go to bed. Well! we can’t sleep. We toss and tumble, and can’t sleep. The embers on the hearth burn fitfully and make the room look ghostly. We can’t help peeping out over the counterpane, at the two black figures and the cavalier—that wicked-looking cavalier—in green. In the flickering light they seem to advance and retire: which, though we are not by any means a superstitious nobleman, is not agreeable. Well! we get nervous—more and more nervous. We say “This is very foolish, but we can’t stand this; we’ll pretend to be ill, and knock up somebody.” Well! we are just going to do it, when the locked door opens, and there comes in a young woman, deadly pale, and with long fair hair, who glides to the fire, and sits down in the chair we have left there, wringing her hands. Then, we notice that her clothes are wet. Our tongue cleaves to the roof of our mouth, and we can’t speak; but, we observe her accurately. Her clothes are wet; her long hair is dabbled with moist mud; she is dressed in the fashion of two hundred years ago; and she has at her girdle a bunch of rusty keys. Well! there she sits, and we can’t even faint, we are in such a state about it. Presently she gets up, and tries all the locks in the room with the rusty keys, which won’t fit one of them; then, she fixes her eyes on the portrait of the cavalier in green, and says, in a low, terrible voice, “The stags know it!” After that, she wrings her hands again, passes the bedside, and goes out at the door. We hurry on our dressing-gown, seize our pistols (we always travel with pistols), and are following, when we find the door locked. We turn the key, look out into the dark gallery; no one there. We wander away, and try to find our servant. Can’t be done. We pace the gallery till daybreak; then return to our deserted room, fall asleep, and are awakened by our servant (nothing ever haunts him) and the shining sun. Well! we make a wretched breakfast, and all the company say we look queer. After breakfast, we go over the house with our host, and then we take him to the portrait of the cavalier in green, and then it all comes out. He was false to a young housekeeper once attached to that family, and famous for her beauty, who drowned herself in a pond, and whose body was discovered, after a long time, because the stags refused to drink of the water. Since which, it has been whispered that she traverses the house at midnight (but goes especially to that room where the cavalier in green was wont to sleep), trying the old locks with the rusty keys. Well! we tell our host of what we have seen, and a shade comes over his features, and he begs it may be hushed up; and so it is. But, it’s all true; and we said so, before we died (we are dead now) to many responsible people.
There's probably a smell of roasted chestnuts and other cozy things all the time because we're sharing Winter Stories—Ghost Stories, shame on us—around the Christmas fire; and we haven’t moved, except to get a little closer to it. But that doesn’t matter. We arrived at the house, which is old, filled with large chimneys where wood burns on ancient dogs on the hearth, and somber portraits (some with grim legends, too) look down from the oak-paneled walls with suspicion. We are a middle-aged nobleman, enjoying a generous supper with our host, hostess, and their guests since it's Christmas time and the old house is full of company—and then we head to bed. Our room is very old. It’s adorned with tapestries. We’re not fond of the portrait of a cavalier in green above the fireplace. The ceiling has huge black beams, and there’s a massive black bedstead, supported at the foot by two large black figures resembling those from tombs in the old baronial church in the park, just for us. But we aren't a superstitious nobleman, so it doesn't bother us. Well! We dismiss our servant, lock the door, and sit before the fire in our dressing gown, lost in thought about many things. Eventually, we go to bed. Well! We can’t sleep. We toss and turn, unable to drift off. The embers on the hearth flicker and cast a ghostly glow in the room. We can’t resist peeking out from under the blanket at the two black figures and that wicked-looking cavalier in green. In the shifting light, they seem to move closer and then pull away, which, while we’re not superstitious, is unsettling. Well! We become increasingly nervous. We think, “This is ridiculous, but we can’t take this anymore; let’s pretend to be ill and wake someone up.” Just as we're about to do it, the locked door opens, and a young woman walks in, deathly pale, with long fair hair, gliding to the fire and sitting down in the chair we've left there, wringing her hands. We then notice that her clothes are wet. Our tongue sticks to the roof of our mouth, rendering us speechless; however, we observe her closely. Her clothes are damp; her long hair is matted with muddy water; she’s dressed in the style of two centuries ago; and at her waist, she carries a bunch of rusty keys. There she sits, and we can't even faint, we're so rattled by it. Soon, she stands up and tries all the locks in the room with the rusty keys, but none fit; then she fixes her gaze on the portrait of the cavalier in green and says in a low, chilling voice, “The stags know it!” After that, she wrings her hands again, walks past the bed, and exits through the door. We hurriedly put on our dressing gown, grab our pistols (we always travel with them), and follow, only to find the door locked. We turn the key, look out into the dark hallway; no one is there. We wander off, trying to find our servant. No luck. We pace the hallway until daybreak, then return to our empty room, fall asleep, and are awakened by our servant (who is never haunted) and the bright morning sun. Well! We have a terrible breakfast, and everyone says we look strange. After breakfast, we explore the house with our host, then take him to see the portrait of the cavalier in green, and that’s when everything comes to light. He was unfaithful to a beautiful young housekeeper once connected to that family, who ended up drowning herself in a pond, and her body wasn’t found for a long time because the stags refused to drink from that water. Since that day, it’s been said that she roams the house at midnight (but particularly seeks that room where the cavalier in green used to sleep), trying the old locks with the rusty keys. Well! We tell our host what we experienced, and a shadow crosses his face, and he asks that it be kept quiet; and so it goes. But it’s all true; we stated so, before our death (we're dead now) to many responsible individuals.
There is no end to the old houses, with resounding galleries, and dismal state-bedchambers, and haunted wings shut up for many years, through which we may ramble, with an agreeable creeping up our back, and encounter any number of ghosts, but (it is worthy of remark perhaps) reducible to a very few general types and classes; for, ghosts have little originality, and “walk” in a beaten track. Thus, it comes to pass, that a certain room in a certain old hall, where a certain bad lord, baronet, knight, or gentleman, shot himself, has certain planks in the floor from which the blood will not be taken out. You may scrape and scrape, as the present owner has done, or plane and plane, as his father did, or scrub and scrub, as his grandfather did, or burn and burn with strong acids, as his great-grandfather did, but, there the blood will still be—no redder and no paler—no more and no less—always just the same. Thus, in such another house there is a haunted door, that never will keep open; or another door that never will keep shut, or a haunted sound of a spinning-wheel, or a hammer, or a footstep, or a cry, or a sigh, or a horse’s tramp, or the rattling of a chain. Or else, there is a turret-clock, which, at the midnight hour, strikes thirteen when the head of the family is going to die; or a shadowy, immovable black carriage which at such a time is always seen by somebody, waiting near the great gates in the stable-yard. Or thus, it came to pass how Lady Mary went to pay a visit at a large wild house in the Scottish Highlands, and, being fatigued with her long journey, retired to bed early, and innocently said, next morning, at the breakfast-table, “How odd, to have so late a party last night, in this remote place, and not to tell me of it, before I went to bed!” Then, every one asked Lady Mary what she meant? Then, Lady Mary replied, “Why, all night long, the carriages were driving round and round the terrace, underneath my window!” Then, the owner of the house turned pale, and so did his Lady, and Charles Macdoodle of Macdoodle signed to Lady Mary to say no more, and every one was silent. After breakfast, Charles Macdoodle told Lady Mary that it was a tradition in the family that those rumbling carriages on the terrace betokened death. And so it proved, for, two months afterwards, the Lady of the mansion died. And Lady Mary, who was a Maid of Honour at Court, often told this story to the old Queen Charlotte; by this token that the old King always said, “Eh, eh? What, what? Ghosts, ghosts? No such thing, no such thing!” And never left off saying so, until he went to bed.
There’s no shortage of old houses, with echoing hallways, gloomy bedrooms, and haunted wings that have been closed off for years. We can wander through them, feeling a pleasant chill down our spine, and come across countless ghosts, but it's worth noting that they fit into just a few general types; ghosts aren’t very original and tend to stick to familiar patterns. So, for example, in a certain room in a certain old mansion, where a certain terrible lord, baronet, knight, or gentleman took his own life, there are particular floorboards where the blood just won’t wash out. You can scrape and scrape, like the current owner has done, or plane and plane, as his father did, or scrub and scrub, like his grandfather, or burn and burn with harsh acids, as his great-grandfather tried, but the blood will always remain—no brighter, no duller—always exactly the same. In another house, there’s a haunted door that never will stay open; or another door that never will stay shut; or a haunted sound of a spinning wheel, of a hammer, of footsteps, of a cry, of a sigh, of a horse's hooves, or the clanking of a chain. Then there’s the turret clock that strikes thirteen at midnight when the head of the family is about to die; or a shadowy, unmoving black carriage that is always seen by someone waiting near the grand gates in the stable yard during such times. Such was the case when Lady Mary visited a large, eerie house in the Scottish Highlands. Tired from her journey, she went to bed early and innocently remarked at breakfast the next morning, “How strange to have such a late party last night in this remote place, and no one told me before I went to bed!” Everyone asked her what she meant. Lady Mary replied, “Well, all night long, carriages were driving around and around the terrace beneath my window!” The owner of the house turned pale, as did his wife, and Charles Macdoodle of Macdoodle signaled to Lady Mary not to say more, and everyone fell silent. After breakfast, Charles Macdoodle explained to Lady Mary that it was a family tradition that those rumbling carriages on the terrace indicated a death. And so it turned out, for two months later, the Lady of the house passed away. Lady Mary, who served as a Maid of Honour at Court, frequently shared this story with the old Queen Charlotte, reminding everyone that the old King always said, “Eh, eh? What, what? Ghosts, ghosts? No such thing, no such thing!” And he kept insisting that until he went to bed.
Or, a friend of somebody’s whom most of us know, when he was a young man at college, had a particular friend, with whom he made the compact that, if it were possible for the Spirit to return to this earth after its separation from the body, he of the twain who first died, should reappear to the other. In course of time, this compact was forgotten by our friend; the two young men having progressed in life, and taken diverging paths that were wide asunder. But, one night, many years afterwards, our friend being in the North of England, and staying for the night in an inn, on the Yorkshire Moors, happened to look out of bed; and there, in the moonlight, leaning on a bureau near the window, steadfastly regarding him, saw his old college friend! The appearance being solemnly addressed, replied, in a kind of whisper, but very audibly, “Do not come near me. I am dead. I am here to redeem my promise. I come from another world, but may not disclose its secrets!” Then, the whole form becoming paler, melted, as it were, into the moonlight, and faded away.
Or, a friend of someone we all know, when he was a young man in college, had a close friend with whom he made a pact that, if it were possible for the spirit to return to this earth after separating from the body, whoever died first would come back to the other. Over time, our friend forgot about this pact as the two young men moved on in life and took very different paths. But one night, many years later, while our friend was in the North of England and staying at an inn on the Yorkshire Moors, he happened to look out of bed. There, in the moonlight, leaning on a dresser near the window and looking steadily at him, was his old college friend! When addressed solemnly, the apparition responded in a whisper that was still very clear, “Do not come near me. I am dead. I am here to fulfill my promise. I come from another world, but I cannot reveal its secrets!” Then, the figure grew paler and seemed to dissolve into the moonlight before fading away.
Or, there was the daughter of the first occupier of the picturesque Elizabethan house, so famous in our neighbourhood. You have heard about her? No! Why, She went out one summer evening at twilight, when she was a beautiful girl, just seventeen years of age, to gather flowers in the garden; and presently came running, terrified, into the hall to her father, saying, “Oh, dear father, I have met myself!” He took her in his arms, and told her it was fancy, but she said, “Oh no! I met myself in the broad walk, and I was pale and gathering withered flowers, and I turned my head, and held them up!” And, that night, she died; and a picture of her story was begun, though never finished, and they say it is somewhere in the house to this day, with its face to the wall.
Or, there was the daughter of the first owner of the beautiful Elizabethan house that is so well-known in our neighborhood. You’ve heard about her? No? Well, she went out one summer evening at dusk, when she was a stunning girl, just seventeen, to pick flowers in the garden; then she came running back, terrified, to her father, saying, “Oh, dear father, I saw myself!” He held her close and said it was just her imagination, but she insisted, “Oh no! I saw myself on the path, and I was pale and picking wilted flowers, and I turned my head and held them up!” That night, she died, and a story about her began, though it was never completed, and they say it’s still somewhere in the house to this day, facing the wall.
Or, the uncle of my brother’s wife was riding home on horseback, one mellow evening at sunset, when, in a green lane close to his own house, he saw a man standing before him, in the very centre of a narrow way. “Why does that man in the cloak stand there!” he thought. “Does he want me to ride over him?” But the figure never moved. He felt a strange sensation at seeing it so still, but slackened his trot and rode forward. When he was so close to it, as almost to touch it with his stirrup, his horse shied, and the figure glided up the bank, in a curious, unearthly manner—backward, and without seeming to use its feet—and was gone. The uncle of my brother’s wife, exclaiming, “Good Heaven! It’s my cousin Harry, from Bombay!” put spurs to his horse, which was suddenly in a profuse sweat, and, wondering at such strange behaviour, dashed round to the front of his house. There, he saw the same figure, just passing in at the long French window of the drawing-room, opening on the ground. He threw his bridle to a servant, and hastened in after it. His sister was sitting there, alone. “Alice, where’s my cousin Harry?” “Your cousin Harry, John?” “Yes. From Bombay. I met him in the lane just now, and saw him enter here, this instant.” Not a creature had been seen by any one; and in that hour and minute, as it afterwards appeared, this cousin died in India.
Or, the uncle of my brother’s wife was riding home on horseback one pleasant evening at sunset when he saw a man standing in front of him in the middle of a narrow lane close to his house. “Why is that guy in the cloak standing there?” he wondered. “Does he want me to ride over him?” But the figure didn’t move. He felt a strange sensation seeing it so still, but he slowed his horse and rode forward. When he got so close that he was almost touching it with his stirrup, his horse startled, and the figure glided up the bank in a strange, otherworldly way—backward, without appearing to use its feet—and vanished. The uncle of my brother’s wife exclaimed, “Good heavens! It’s my cousin Harry from Bombay!” and urged his horse, which was suddenly all sweaty, and, puzzled by this bizarre behavior, dashed around to the front of his house. There, he saw the same figure just passing through the long French window of the drawing-room on the ground floor. He tossed the reins to a servant and hurried in after it. His sister was sitting there alone. “Alice, where’s my cousin Harry?” “Your cousin Harry, John?” “Yes. From Bombay. I just saw him in the lane, and he came in here just now.” Nobody else had seen him at all; and at that very moment, as it turned out later, this cousin died in India.
Or, it was a certain sensible old maiden lady, who died at ninety-nine, and retained her faculties to the last, who really did see the Orphan Boy; a story which has often been incorrectly told, but, of which the real truth is this—because it is, in fact, a story belonging to our family—and she was a connexion of our family. When she was about forty years of age, and still an uncommonly fine woman (her lover died young, which was the reason why she never married, though she had many offers), she went to stay at a place in Kent, which her brother, an Indian-Merchant, had newly bought. There was a story that this place had once been held in trust by the guardian of a young boy; who was himself the next heir, and who killed the young boy by harsh and cruel treatment. She knew nothing of that. It has been said that there was a Cage in her bedroom in which the guardian used to put the boy. There was no such thing. There was only a closet. She went to bed, made no alarm whatever in the night, and in the morning said composedly to her maid when she came in, “Who is the pretty forlorn-looking child who has been peeping out of that closet all night?” The maid replied by giving a loud scream, and instantly decamping. She was surprised; but she was a woman of remarkable strength of mind, and she dressed herself and went downstairs, and closeted herself with her brother. “Now, Walter,” she said, “I have been disturbed all night by a pretty, forlorn-looking boy, who has been constantly peeping out of that closet in my room, which I can’t open. This is some trick.” “I am afraid not, Charlotte,” said he, “for it is the legend of the house. It is the Orphan Boy. What did he do?” “He opened the door softly,” said she, “and peeped out. Sometimes, he came a step or two into the room. Then, I called to him, to encourage him, and he shrunk, and shuddered, and crept in again, and shut the door.” “The closet has no communication, Charlotte,” said her brother, “with any other part of the house, and it’s nailed up.” This was undeniably true, and it took two carpenters a whole forenoon to get it open, for examination. Then, she was satisfied that she had seen the Orphan Boy. But, the wild and terrible part of the story is, that he was also seen by three of her brother’s sons, in succession, who all died young. On the occasion of each child being taken ill, he came home in a heat, twelve hours before, and said, Oh, Mamma, he had been playing under a particular oak-tree, in a certain meadow, with a strange boy—a pretty, forlorn-looking boy, who was very timid, and made signs! From fatal experience, the parents came to know that this was the Orphan Boy, and that the course of that child whom he chose for his little playmate was surely run.
Or, it was a certain sensible old maiden lady, who died at ninety-nine and kept her wits about her until the end, who really did see the Orphan Boy; a story that has often been misinterpreted, but the real truth is this—because this is, in fact, a story that belongs to our family—and she was connected to our family. When she was around forty years old, and still an unusually attractive woman (her lover died young, which is why she never married, although she had many proposals), she went to stay at a place in Kent that her brother, an Indian merchant, had just purchased. There was a tale that this place had once been managed by the guardian of a young boy; who was the next heir and who mistreated the young boy to death. She knew nothing about that. It was said that there was a cage in her bedroom where the guardian would put the boy. There was no such thing. There was only a closet. She went to bed, didn’t make any noise throughout the night, and in the morning calmly said to her maid when she came in, “Who is the pretty forlorn-looking child who has been peeking out of that closet all night?” The maid responded with a loud scream and immediately ran away. She was surprised, but she was a woman of extraordinary strength of mind, so she got dressed and went downstairs to talk to her brother. “Now, Walter,” she said, “I’ve been disturbed all night by a pretty, forlorn-looking boy who constantly peeked out of that closet in my room, which I can’t open. This must be some kind of trick.” “I’m afraid not, Charlotte,” he said, “because it’s the legend of the house. It’s the Orphan Boy. What did he do?” “He opened the door softly,” she said, “and peered out. Sometimes, he came a step or two into the room. Then, I called to him to encourage him, and he shrank back, shuddered, and crept in again, shutting the door.” “The closet doesn’t connect to any other part of the house, Charlotte,” her brother said, “and it’s nailed shut.” This was undeniably true, and it took two carpenters an entire morning to get it opened for inspection. Afterward, she was convinced that she had seen the Orphan Boy. But the wild and eerie part of the story is that he was also seen by three of her brother’s sons, one after the other, all of whom died young. Each time one of the children fell ill, he would come home heated and say, “Oh, Mama, I was playing under a specific oak tree in a certain meadow with a strange boy—a pretty, forlorn-looking boy who was very shy and made gestures!” From painful experience, the parents learned that this was the Orphan Boy, and that the fate of the child he chose as his little playmate was surely sealed.
Legion is the name of the German castles, where we sit up alone to wait for the Spectre—where we are shown into a room, made comparatively cheerful for our reception—where we glance round at the shadows, thrown on the blank walls by the crackling fire—where we feel very lonely when the village innkeeper and his pretty daughter have retired, after laying down a fresh store of wood upon the hearth, and setting forth on the small table such supper-cheer as a cold roast capon, bread, grapes, and a flask of old Rhine wine—where the reverberating doors close on their retreat, one after another, like so many peals of sullen thunder—and where, about the small hours of the night, we come into the knowledge of divers supernatural mysteries. Legion is the name of the haunted German students, in whose society we draw yet nearer to the fire, while the schoolboy in the corner opens his eyes wide and round, and flies off the footstool he has chosen for his seat, when the door accidentally blows open. Vast is the crop of such fruit, shining on our Christmas Tree; in blossom, almost at the very top; ripening all down the boughs!
Legion is the name of the German castles where we sit alone waiting for the Spectre—where we’re led into a room made relatively cheerful for our arrival—where we glance around at the shadows cast on the blank walls by the crackling fire—where we feel very lonely when the village innkeeper and his pretty daughter leave, after laying down a fresh supply of wood on the hearth and setting out on the small table a simple supper of cold roast chicken, bread, grapes, and a flask of old Rhine wine—where the echoing doors close behind them one after another, like distant thunder—and where, in the early hours of the night, we uncover various supernatural mysteries. Legion is also the name of the haunted German students with whom we draw closer to the fire, while the schoolboy in the corner opens his eyes wide and leaps off the footstool he chose for his seat when the door unexpectedly swings open. There’s a vast harvest of such fruit, shining on our Christmas Tree; blossoming almost at the very top; ripening down the branches!
Among the later toys and fancies hanging there—as idle often and less pure—be the images once associated with the sweet old Waits, the softened music in the night, ever unalterable! Encircled by the social thoughts of Christmas-time, still let the benignant figure of my childhood stand unchanged! In every cheerful image and suggestion that the season brings, may the bright star that rested above the poor roof, be the star of all the Christian World! A moment’s pause, O vanishing tree, of which the lower boughs are dark to me as yet, and let me look once more! I know there are blank spaces on thy branches, where eyes that I have loved have shone and smiled; from which they are departed. But, far above, I see the raiser of the dead girl, and the Widow’s Son; and God is good! If Age be hiding for me in the unseen portion of thy downward growth, O may I, with a grey head, turn a child’s heart to that figure yet, and a child’s trustfulness and confidence!
Among the later toys and decorations hanging there—often forgotten and less genuine—are the images once connected with the sweet old carolers, the comforting music in the night, always constant! Surrounded by the warm thoughts of Christmas time, let the kind figure from my childhood remain unchanged! In every joyful image and idea that this season brings, may the bright star that shone above the humble home be the star of all Christians! I take a moment’s pause, O fading tree, whose lower branches are still dark to me, and let me take another look! I know there are empty spots on your branches, where faces I have loved have shone and smiled, but from which they are gone. Yet, far above, I see the one who raised the dead girl and the Widow’s Son; and God is good! If old age is waiting for me in the unseen parts of your downward growth, may I, with grey hair, still turn a child’s heart toward that figure, with a child’s trust and confidence!
Now, the tree is decorated with bright merriment, and song, and dance, and cheerfulness. And they are welcome. Innocent and welcome be they ever held, beneath the branches of the Christmas Tree, which cast no gloomy shadow! But, as it sinks into the ground, I hear a whisper going through the leaves. “This, in commemoration of the law of love and kindness, mercy and compassion. This, in remembrance of Me!”
Now, the tree is adorned with bright joy, song, dance, and cheer. And they are welcomed. Innocent and forever welcome, they are embraced beneath the branches of the Christmas Tree, which casts no dark shadow! But, as it sinks into the ground, I hear a whisper rustling through the leaves. “This, in honor of the law of love and kindness, mercy and compassion. This, in remembrance of Me!”
p. 23p. 23WHAT
CHRISTMAS IS AS WE GROW OLDER.
[1851]
Time was, with most of us, when Christmas Day encircling all our limited world like a magic ring, left nothing out for us to miss or seek; bound together all our home enjoyments, affections, and hopes; grouped everything and every one around the Christmas fire; and made the little picture shining in our bright young eyes, complete.
Time was, for many of us, when Christmas Day stretched across our small world like a magical ring, leaving nothing for us to miss or yearn for; bringing together all our cozy moments, love, and dreams; gathering everything and everyone around the Christmas fire; and creating a beautiful scene in our bright young eyes that felt whole.
Time came, perhaps, all so soon, when our thoughts over-leaped that narrow boundary; when there was some one (very dear, we thought then, very beautiful, and absolutely perfect) wanting to the fulness of our happiness; when we were wanting too (or we thought so, which did just as well) at the Christmas hearth by which that some one sat; and when we intertwined with every wreath and garland of our life that some one’s name.
Time passed, perhaps too quickly, when our thoughts crossed that thin line; when there was someone (very dear to us, we believed then, very beautiful, and completely perfect) essential to our happiness; when we felt that absence too (or so we thought, which was just as meaningful) at the Christmas gathering where that someone was present; and when we wove that someone’s name into every wreath and garland of our lives.
That was the time for the bright visionary Christmases which have long arisen from us to show faintly, after summer rain, in the palest edges of the rainbow! That was the time for the beatified enjoyment of the things that were to be, and never were, and yet the things that were so real in our resolute hope that it would be hard to say, now, what realities achieved since, have been stronger!
That was the time for the bright, hopeful Christmases that have faded from us, now merely showing up in the faint edges of the rainbow after a summer rain! That was the time for the blessed enjoyment of things that were meant to be but never happened, and yet those things felt so real in our steadfast hope that it’s hard to say, now, what real experiences we've had since that have been stronger!
What! Did that Christmas never really come when we and the priceless pearl who was our young choice were received, after the happiest of totally impossible marriages, by the two united families previously at daggers—drawn on our account? When brothers and sisters-in-law who had always been rather cool to us before our relationship was effected, perfectly doted on us, and when fathers and mothers overwhelmed us with unlimited incomes? Was that Christmas dinner never really eaten, after which we arose, and generously and eloquently rendered honour to our late rival, present in the company, then and there exchanging friendship and forgiveness, and founding an attachment, not to be surpassed in Greek or Roman story, which subsisted until death? Has that same rival long ceased to care for that same priceless pearl, and married for money, and become usurious? Above all, do we really know, now, that we should probably have been miserable if we had won and worn the pearl, and that we are better without her?
What! Did that Christmas never actually happen when we and the priceless pearl who was our young choice were welcomed, after the happiest of totally impossible marriages, by the two families that had been feuding over us? When brothers and sisters-in-law who had always been somewhat indifferent to us before our relationship became official were suddenly all over us, and when our parents showered us with unlimited resources? Was that Christmas dinner never really enjoyed, after which we stood up and generously and eloquently honored our late rival, who was present in the room, exchanging friendship and forgiveness right then and there, and forming a bond that couldn’t be surpassed in any Greek or Roman tale, which lasted until death? Has that same rival long stopped caring for that priceless pearl, married for wealth, and become greedy? Above all, do we really understand now that we probably would have been miserable if we had won and kept the pearl, and that it's better for us without her?
That Christmas when we had recently achieved so much fame; when we had been carried in triumph somewhere, for doing something great and good; when we had won an honoured and ennobled name, and arrived and were received at home in a shower of tears of joy; is it possible that that Christmas has not come yet?
That Christmas when we had just gained so much fame; when we had been celebrated for achieving something great and good; when we had earned a respected and elevated name, and came home to a joyful shower of tears; could it be that that Christmas hasn’t happened yet?
And is our life here, at the best, so constituted that, pausing as we advance at such a noticeable mile-stone in the track as this great birthday, we look back on the things that never were, as naturally and full as gravely as on the things that have been and are gone, or have been and still are? If it be so, and so it seems to be, must we come to the conclusion that life is little better than a dream, and little worth the loves and strivings that we crowd into it?
And is our life here, at its best, set up in such a way that, stopping to reflect at a significant milestone like this big birthday, we look back on the things that never happened just as naturally and seriously as we do on the things that have happened and are gone, or that have happened and still exist? If that's the case, and it seems to be, should we conclude that life is hardly more than a dream, and not really worth the love and effort we put into it?
No! Far be such miscalled philosophy from us, dear Reader, on Christmas Day! Nearer and closer to our hearts be the Christmas spirit, which is the spirit of active usefulness, perseverance, cheerful discharge of duty, kindness and forbearance! It is in the last virtues especially, that we are, or should be, strengthened by the unaccomplished visions of our youth; for, who shall say that they are not our teachers to deal gently even with the impalpable nothings of the earth!
No! Let’s save that so-called philosophy for another time, dear Reader, on Christmas Day! The Christmas spirit, which embodies active kindness, perseverance, the cheerful fulfillment of duty, and tolerance, is what we hold dearer to our hearts! It’s in these virtues, especially, that we are, or should be, inspired by the unfulfilled dreams of our youth; for who can say they’re not our guides to treat even the insignificant things on earth with gentleness!
Therefore, as we grow older, let us be more thankful that the circle of our Christmas associations and of the lessons that they bring, expands! Let us welcome every one of them, and summon them to take their places by the Christmas hearth.
Therefore, as we get older, let’s be more grateful that our circle of Christmas connections and the lessons they bring are growing! Let’s welcome each one of them and invite them to gather around the Christmas hearth.
Welcome, old aspirations, glittering creatures of an ardent fancy, to your shelter underneath the holly! We know you, and have not outlived you yet. Welcome, old projects and old loves, however fleeting, to your nooks among the steadier lights that burn around us. Welcome, all that was ever real to our hearts; and for the earnestness that made you real, thanks to Heaven! Do we build no Christmas castles in the clouds now? Let our thoughts, fluttering like butterflies among these flowers of children, bear witness! Before this boy, there stretches out a Future, brighter than we ever looked on in our old romantic time, but bright with honour and with truth. Around this little head on which the sunny curls lie heaped, the graces sport, as prettily, as airily, as when there was no scythe within the reach of Time to shear away the curls of our first-love. Upon another girl’s face near it—placider but smiling bright—a quiet and contented little face, we see Home fairly written. Shining from the word, as rays shine from a star, we see how, when our graves are old, other hopes than ours are young, other hearts than ours are moved; how other ways are smoothed; how other happiness blooms, ripens, and decays—no, not decays, for other homes and other bands of children, not yet in being nor for ages yet to be, arise, and bloom and ripen to the end of all!
Welcome, old dreams, shining beings of a passionate imagination, to your shelter under the holly! We know you and still hold onto you. Welcome, old projects and old loves, no matter how brief, to your cozy spots among the steady lights that surround us. Welcome, all that was ever genuine to our hearts; and for the sincerity that made you real, thank goodness! Are we not building any Christmas castles in the clouds now? Let our thoughts, fluttering like butterflies among these children’s flowers, confirm that! Before this boy lies a Future, brighter than anything we ever imagined back in our old romantic days, but bright with honor and truth. Around this little head, topped with sunny curls, the graces dance just as beautifully and lightly as when Time didn't have a scythe to cut down the curls of our first love. On another girl’s face nearby—calm yet smiling brightly—we see the essence of Home written clearly. Shining from that word, like rays from a star, we understand how, when our graves are old, other hopes besides ours will be young, other hearts besides ours will beat; how other paths will be smoothed; how other happiness will bloom, ripen, and—no, not decay, because other homes and other groups of children, not even conceived yet or for ages to come, will rise, bloom, and flourish until the end of all!
Welcome, everything! Welcome, alike what has been, and what never was, and what we hope may be, to your shelter underneath the holly, to your places round the Christmas fire, where what is sits open-hearted! In yonder shadow, do we see obtruding furtively upon the blaze, an enemy’s face? By Christmas Day we do forgive him! If the injury he has done us may admit of such companionship, let him come here and take his place. If otherwise, unhappily, let him go hence, assured that we will never injure nor accuse him.
Welcome, everyone! Welcome to everything that has been, what never was, and what we hope for in the future, to your shelter under the holly, to your spots around the Christmas fire, where we embrace what is with open hearts! In that shadow, do we see an enemy's face creeping into the light? On Christmas Day, we forgive him! If the harm he has caused us allows for such company, let him come here and take his place. If not, unfortunately, let him leave, knowing that we will never hurt or blame him.
On this day we shut out Nothing!
On this day, we shut out nothing!
“Pause,” says a low voice. “Nothing? Think!”
“Hold on,” says a quiet voice. “Nothing? Think!”
“On Christmas Day, we will shut out from our fireside, Nothing.”
“On Christmas Day, we will keep out the cold from our fireside, Nothing.”
“Not the shadow of a vast City where the withered leaves are lying deep?” the voice replies. “Not the shadow that darkens the whole globe? Not the shadow of the City of the Dead?”
“Is it not the shadow of a huge City where the dried-up leaves are piled high?” the voice responds. “Is it not the shadow that casts darkness over the entire world? Not the shadow of the City of the Dead?”
Not even that. Of all days in the year, we will turn our faces towards that City upon Christmas Day, and from its silent hosts bring those we loved, among us. City of the Dead, in the blessed name wherein we are gathered together at this time, and in the Presence that is here among us according to the promise, we will receive, and not dismiss, thy people who are dear to us!
Not even that. Of all days in the year, we will turn our faces toward that City on Christmas Day, and from its silent hosts, bring those we loved among us. City of the Dead, in the blessed name in which we are gathered together at this time, and in the Presence that is here with us according to the promise, we will receive, and not dismiss, your people who are dear to us!
Yes. We can look upon these children angels that alight, so solemnly, so beautifully among the living children by the fire, and can bear to think how they departed from us. Entertaining angels unawares, as the Patriarchs did, the playful children are unconscious of their guests; but we can see them—can see a radiant arm around one favourite neck, as if there were a tempting of that child away. Among the celestial figures there is one, a poor misshapen boy on earth, of a glorious beauty now, of whom his dying mother said it grieved her much to leave him here, alone, for so many years as it was likely would elapse before he came to her—being such a little child. But he went quickly, and was laid upon her breast, and in her hand she leads him.
Yes. We can see these children as angels that come down, so solemnly and beautifully among the living children by the fire, and we can bear to think about how they left us. Entertaining angels without realizing it, like the Patriarchs did, the playful children are unaware of their guests; but we can see them—we can see a radiant arm around one favorite neck, as if that child is being tempted away. Among the heavenly figures, there is one, a poor misshapen boy on earth, now transformed into glorious beauty, of whom his dying mother said it saddened her greatly to leave him here, alone, for so many years that would probably pass before he would come to her—being such a little child. But he went quickly and was laid upon her breast, and in her hand, she leads him.
There was a gallant boy, who fell, far away, upon a burning sand beneath a burning sun, and said, “Tell them at home, with my last love, how much I could have wished to kiss them once, but that I died contented and had done my duty!” Or there was another, over whom they read the words, “Therefore we commit his body to the deep,” and so consigned him to the lonely ocean and sailed on. Or there was another, who lay down to his rest in the dark shadow of great forests, and, on earth, awoke no more. O shall they not, from sand and sea and forest, be brought home at such a time!
There was a brave boy who fell far away on burning sand under an intense sun and said, “Tell them at home, with my last love, how much I would have loved to kiss them just once, but I died content and fulfilled my duty!” Or there was another, over whom they read the words, “Therefore we commit his body to the deep,” and thus sent him to the lonely ocean and continued on. Or there was another who laid down to rest in the dark shadows of vast forests, and on earth, he didn’t wake up again. Oh, shouldn’t they be brought home from sand, sea, and forest at such a time!
There was a dear girl—almost a woman—never to be one—who made a mourning Christmas in a house of joy, and went her trackless way to the silent City. Do we recollect her, worn out, faintly whispering what could not be heard, and falling into that last sleep for weariness? O look upon her now! O look upon her beauty, her serenity, her changeless youth, her happiness! The daughter of Jairus was recalled to life, to die; but she, more blest, has heard the same voice, saying unto her, “Arise for ever!”
There was a beloved girl—almost a woman—who would never fully become one—who brought sorrow to a joyful Christmas and made her way to the quiet City. Do we remember her, exhausted, softly whispering things no one could hear, and drifting into that final sleep from sheer tiredness? Oh, look at her now! Oh, look at her beauty, her calmness, her eternal youth, her joy! The daughter of Jairus was brought back to life, only to die again; but she, even more blessed, has heard the same voice saying to her, “Rise forever!”
We had a friend who was our friend from early days, with whom we often pictured the changes that were to come upon our lives, and merrily imagined how we would speak, and walk, and think, and talk, when we came to be old. His destined habitation in the City of the Dead received him in his prime. Shall he be shut out from our Christmas remembrance? Would his love have so excluded us? Lost friend, lost child, lost parent, sister, brother, husband, wife, we will not so discard you! You shall hold your cherished places in our Christmas hearts, and by our Christmas fires; and in the season of immortal hope, and on the birthday of immortal mercy, we will shut out Nothing!
We had a friend from our early days, someone we often imagined the changes that would come into our lives with, and we happily pictured how we would talk, walk, think, and act when we got older. His final resting place in the City of the Dead took him in while he was still young. Should we exclude him from our Christmas memories? Would his love have wanted that? Lost friend, lost child, lost parent, sister, brother, husband, wife, we won’t forget you! You will hold your special places in our Christmas hearts and by our Christmas fires; in this season of eternal hope, and on the birthday of eternal mercy, we will exclude nothing!
The winter sun goes down over town and village; on the sea it makes a rosy path, as if the Sacred tread were fresh upon the water. A few more moments, and it sinks, and night comes on, and lights begin to sparkle in the prospect. On the hill-side beyond the shapelessly-diffused town, and in the quiet keeping of the trees that gird the village-steeple, remembrances are cut in stone, planted in common flowers, growing in grass, entwined with lowly brambles around many a mound of earth. In town and village, there are doors and windows closed against the weather, there are flaming logs heaped high, there are joyful faces, there is healthy music of voices. Be all ungentleness and harm excluded from the temples of the Household Gods, but be those remembrances admitted with tender encouragement! They are of the time and all its comforting and peaceful reassurances; and of the history that re-united even upon earth the living and the dead; and of the broad beneficence and goodness that too many men have tried to tear to narrow shreds.
The winter sun sets over towns and villages; on the sea, it creates a rosy path, as if the Sacred had just walked across the water. In just a few more moments, it disappears, night falls, and lights begin to twinkle in the distance. On the hillside beyond the loosely scattered town, and in the peaceful embrace of the trees that surround the village steeple, memories are etched in stone, planted in common flowers, growing in the grass, intertwined with humble brambles around many mounds of earth. In both town and village, doors and windows are closed against the cold, there are bright logs stacked high, there are happy faces, and the cheerful music of voices fills the air. May all unkindness and harm be kept away from the homes of the Household Gods, but let those memories be welcomed with gentle encouragement! They reflect the time and all its comforting and peaceful reassurances; and the history that brought together, even on earth, the living and the dead; and the broader kindness and goodness that too many have tried to tear into narrow pieces.
p. 31p. 31THE
POOR RELATION’S STORY.
[1852]
He was very reluctant to take precedence of so many respected members of the family, by beginning the round of stories they were to relate as they sat in a goodly circle by the Christmas fire; and he modestly suggested that it would be more correct if “John our esteemed host” (whose health he begged to drink) would have the kindness to begin. For as to himself, he said, he was so little used to lead the way that really— But as they all cried out here, that he must begin, and agreed with one voice that he might, could, would, and should begin, he left off rubbing his hands, and took his legs out from under his armchair, and did begin.
He was very hesitant to take the lead in front of so many respected family members by starting the round of stories they were about to share as they sat in a cozy circle by the Christmas fire; he modestly suggested that it would be more appropriate if “John our esteemed host” (whose health he raised a toast to) would kindly kick things off. As for himself, he said he was so unaccustomed to leading that really— But when they all shouted that he must start and unanimously agreed that he could, would, and should go first, he stopped rubbing his hands, pulled his legs out from under his armchair, and began.
I have no doubt (said the poor relation) that I shall surprise the assembled members of our family, and particularly John our esteemed host to whom we are so much indebted for the great hospitality with which he has this day entertained us, by the confession I am going to make. But, if you do me the honour to be surprised at anything that falls from a person so unimportant in the family as I am, I can only say that I shall be scrupulously accurate in all I relate.
I have no doubt (said the poor relation) that I will surprise the gathered members of our family, especially John, our respected host, to whom we owe so much for the wonderful hospitality with which he has welcomed us today, with the confession I'm about to make. However, if you are kind enough to be surprised by anything that comes from someone as insignificant in the family as I am, I can only assure you that I will be completely accurate in everything I share.
I am not what I am supposed to be. I am quite another thing. Perhaps before I go further, I had better glance at what I am supposed to be.
I am not who I'm supposed to be. I’m something else entirely. Maybe before I continue, I should take a quick look at what I am supposed to be.
It is supposed, unless I mistake—the assembled members of our family will correct me if I do, which is very likely (here the poor relation looked mildly about him for contradiction); that I am nobody’s enemy but my own. That I never met with any particular success in anything. That I failed in business because I was unbusiness-like and credulous—in not being prepared for the interested designs of my partner. That I failed in love, because I was ridiculously trustful—in thinking it impossible that Christiana could deceive me. That I failed in my expectations from my uncle Chill, on account of not being as sharp as he could have wished in worldly matters. That, through life, I have been rather put upon and disappointed in a general way. That I am at present a bachelor of between fifty-nine and sixty years of age, living on a limited income in the form of a quarterly allowance, to which I see that John our esteemed host wishes me to make no further allusion.
It’s assumed, unless I'm mistaken—the family members will correct me if I am, which is very possible (here the poor relative looked around for someone to disagree with him); that I’m nobody’s enemy but my own. That I’ve never really had much success in anything. That I went bankrupt because I was naive and too trusting—unprepared for my partner’s self-serving plans. That I failed in love because I was foolishly trusting—thinking it was impossible for Christiana to deceive me. That I was let down by my uncle Chill because I wasn’t as savvy as he wanted in practical matters. That, throughout my life, I’ve felt pretty much used and disappointed overall. That I’m currently a bachelor between fifty-nine and sixty years old, living on a tight budget in the form of a quarterly allowance, which I can tell John, our respected host, wants me to stop bringing up.
The supposition as to my present pursuits and habits is to the following effect.
The assumption about what I'm currently doing and my habits is as follows.
I live in a lodging in the Clapham Road—a very clean back room, in a very respectable house—where I am expected not to be at home in the day-time, unless poorly; and which I usually leave in the morning at nine o’clock, on pretence of going to business. I take my breakfast—my roll and butter, and my half-pint of coffee—at the old-established coffee-shop near Westminster Bridge; and then I go into the City—I don’t know why—and sit in Garraway’s Coffee House, and on ’Change, and walk about, and look into a few offices and counting-houses where some of my relations or acquaintance are so good as to tolerate me, and where I stand by the fire if the weather happens to be cold. I get through the day in this way until five o’clock, and then I dine: at a cost, on the average, of one and threepence. Having still a little money to spend on my evening’s entertainment, I look into the old-established coffee-shop as I go home, and take my cup of tea, and perhaps my bit of toast. So, as the large hand of the clock makes its way round to the morning hour again, I make my way round to the Clapham Road again, and go to bed when I get to my lodging—fire being expensive, and being objected to by the family on account of its giving trouble and making a dirt.
I live in a room at a place on Clapham Road—it's a really clean back room in a respectable house—where I'm expected not to be home during the day unless I'm sick; and I usually leave in the morning around nine, pretending to go to work. I have my breakfast—just a roll and butter, and half a pint of coffee—at an old coffee shop near Westminster Bridge; then I head into the City—I’m not sure why—and sit at Garraway’s Coffee House, hang around on the Exchange, walk around a bit, and peek into a few offices and counting houses where some of my family or friends are kind enough to put up with me, standing by the fire if it’s cold outside. I get through the day like this until five o’clock, and then I have dinner, which usually costs me about one shilling and three pence. Since I still have a bit of money left for my evening entertainment, I stop by the old coffee shop again on my way home for a cup of tea and maybe a piece of toast. So, as the big hand on the clock ticks back around to morning again, I make my way back to Clapham Road and go to bed when I get to my place—since heating is expensive and the family objects to it because it causes trouble and mess.
Sometimes, one of my relations or acquaintances is so obliging as to ask me to dinner. Those are holiday occasions, and then I generally walk in the Park. I am a solitary man, and seldom walk with anybody. Not that I am avoided because I am shabby; for I am not at all shabby, having always a very good suit of black on (or rather Oxford mixture, which has the appearance of black and wears much better); but I have got into a habit of speaking low, and being rather silent, and my spirits are not high, and I am sensible that I am not an attractive companion.
Sometimes, a relative or acquaintance is kind enough to invite me to dinner. Those are festive occasions, and I usually take a stroll in the park afterward. I’m a solitary person and rarely walk with anyone. It’s not that people avoid me because I look shabby; I’m actually well-dressed, usually wearing a nice black suit (or more accurately, an Oxford mixture that looks black and wears much better). However, I've developed a habit of speaking quietly and being pretty reserved, and my mood isn’t always great, so I know I’m not the most engaging company.
The only exception to this general rule is the child of my first cousin, Little Frank. I have a particular affection for that child, and he takes very kindly to me. He is a diffident boy by nature; and in a crowd he is soon run over, as I may say, and forgotten. He and I, however, get on exceedingly well. I have a fancy that the poor child will in time succeed to my peculiar position in the family. We talk but little; still, we understand each other. We walk about, hand in hand; and without much speaking he knows what I mean, and I know what he means. When he was very little indeed, I used to take him to the windows of the toy-shops, and show him the toys inside. It is surprising how soon he found out that I would have made him a great many presents if I had been in circumstances to do it.
The only exception to this general rule is my first cousin's child, Little Frank. I have a special affection for him, and he seems to like me a lot. He’s naturally shy; in a crowd, he easily gets overlooked and forgotten. However, we get along really well. I have a feeling that the poor kid will eventually take my unique place in the family. We don’t talk much, but we understand each other. We walk around hand in hand, and without saying much, he knows what I mean, and I know what he means. When he was very little, I used to take him to the toy shop windows and show him the toys inside. It’s amazing how quickly he realized that I would have given him many gifts if I could have.
Little Frank and I go and look at the outside of the Monument—he is very fond of the Monument—and at the Bridges, and at all the sights that are free. On two of my birthdays, we have dined on à-la-mode beef, and gone at half-price to the play, and been deeply interested. I was once walking with him in Lombard Street, which we often visit on account of my having mentioned to him that there are great riches there—he is very fond of Lombard Street—when a gentleman said to me as he passed by, “Sir, your little son has dropped his glove.” I assure you, if you will excuse my remarking on so trivial a circumstance, this accidental mention of the child as mine, quite touched my heart and brought the foolish tears into my eyes.
Little Frank and I go and check out the outside of the Monument—he really loves the Monument—and the Bridges, and all the free sights. On two of my birthdays, we've had à-la-mode beef for dinner, gone to the theater at half-price, and been genuinely interested. I was once walking with him in Lombard Street, which we visit often because I told him there’s a lot of wealth there—he really likes Lombard Street—when a gentleman passed by and said to me, “Sir, your little son has dropped his glove.” I assure you, if you’ll forgive me for mentioning something so trivial, this random reference to the child as mine really touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes.
When Little Frank is sent to school in the country, I shall be very much at a loss what to do with myself, but I have the intention of walking down there once a month and seeing him on a half holiday. I am told he will then be at play upon the Heath; and if my visits should be objected to, as unsettling the child, I can see him from a distance without his seeing me, and walk back again. His mother comes of a highly genteel family, and rather disapproves, I am aware, of our being too much together. I know that I am not calculated to improve his retiring disposition; but I think he would miss me beyond the feeling of the moment if we were wholly separated.
When Little Frank is sent to school in the countryside, I'll be really unsure about what to do with myself. However, I plan to walk down there once a month to see him on a half day. I’ve heard that he’ll be playing on the Heath, and if anyone thinks my visits are upsetting for him, I can just watch from a distance without him noticing and then head back. His mom comes from a pretty fancy family and I know she’s not too keen on us spending too much time together. I get that I’m probably not the best influence on his shy nature, but I believe he would miss me more than he realizes if we were completely apart.
When I die in the Clapham Road, I shall not leave much more in this world than I shall take out of it; but, I happen to have a miniature of a bright-faced boy, with a curling head, and an open shirt-frill waving down his bosom (my mother had it taken for me, but I can’t believe that it was ever like), which will be worth nothing to sell, and which I shall beg may he given to Frank. I have written my dear boy a little letter with it, in which I have told him that I felt very sorry to part from him, though bound to confess that I knew no reason why I should remain here. I have given him some short advice, the best in my power, to take warning of the consequences of being nobody’s enemy but his own; and I have endeavoured to comfort him for what I fear he will consider a bereavement, by pointing out to him, that I was only a superfluous something to every one but him; and that having by some means failed to find a place in this great assembly, I am better out of it.
When I die on Clapham Road, I won’t leave much more behind in this world than what I take with me; however, I do have a small portrait of a cheerful boy, with curly hair and an open collar that falls down his chest (my mother had it taken for me, but I can't believe it was ever like that), which won’t be worth anything to sell, and I would like to ask that it be given to Frank. I’ve written my dear boy a little letter to go along with it, where I’ve told him that I feel very sad to part from him, even though I have to admit that I don’t know why I should stay here. I’ve given him some brief advice, the best I could, to be mindful of the consequences of being nobody’s enemy but his own; and I’ve tried to comfort him for what I fear he will see as a loss, by pointing out that I was only an extra person to everyone but him; and that since I somehow failed to find a place in this big gathering, I’m better off out of it.
Such (said the poor relation, clearing his throat and beginning to speak a little louder) is the general impression about me. Now, it is a remarkable circumstance which forms the aim and purpose of my story, that this is all wrong. This is not my life, and these are not my habits. I do not even live in the Clapham Road. Comparatively speaking, I am very seldom there. I reside, mostly, in a—I am almost ashamed to say the word, it sounds so full of pretension—in a Castle. I do not mean that it is an old baronial habitation, but still it is a building always known to every one by the name of a Castle. In it, I preserve the particulars of my history; they run thus:
Such (said the less fortunate relative, clearing his throat and starting to speak a little louder) is the general impression people have of me. Now, it’s interesting to note that this perception is completely wrong. This isn’t my life, and these aren’t my habits. I don’t even live on Clapham Road. To be honest, I’m rarely there. I primarily reside in a—I’m almost embarrassed to say it because it sounds so pretentious—in a Castle. I don’t mean it’s some old noble estate, but it is a place that everyone knows by the name Castle. In it, I keep the details of my history; they go like this:
It was when I first took John Spatter (who had been my clerk) into partnership, and when I was still a young man of not more than five-and-twenty, residing in the house of my uncle Chill, from whom I had considerable expectations, that I ventured to propose to Christiana. I had loved Christiana a long time. She was very beautiful, and very winning in all respects. I rather mistrusted her widowed mother, who I feared was of a plotting and mercenary turn of mind; but, I thought as well of her as I could, for Christiana’s sake. I never had loved any one but Christiana, and she had been all the world, and O far more than all the world, to me, from our childhood!
It was when I first brought John Spatter (who had been my clerk) into the partnership, and when I was still a young man of just twenty-five, living in my uncle Chill's house, from whom I had great expectations, that I dared to propose to Christiana. I had loved Christiana for a long time. She was very beautiful and charming in every way. I had some distrust of her widowed mother, who I worried might be plotting and greedy; but I tried to think well of her for Christiana's sake. I had never loved anyone but Christiana, and she meant everything to me—actually, far more than everything—since our childhood!
Christiana accepted me with her mother’s consent, and I was rendered very happy indeed. My life at my uncle Chill’s was of a spare dull kind, and my garret chamber was as dull, and bare, and cold, as an upper prison room in some stern northern fortress. But, having Christiana’s love, I wanted nothing upon earth. I would not have changed my lot with any human being.
Christiana accepted me with her mother’s approval, and I was incredibly happy. My life at my uncle Chill’s was quite boring, and my attic room was just as drab, empty, and cold as a cell in some harsh northern fortress. But with Christiana’s love, I didn’t want anything else in the world. I wouldn’t have traded my life for anyone else's.
Avarice was, unhappily, my uncle Chill’s master-vice. Though he was rich, he pinched, and scraped, and clutched, and lived miserably. As Christiana had no fortune, I was for some time a little fearful of confessing our engagement to him; but, at length I wrote him a letter, saying how it all truly was. I put it into his hand one night, on going to bed.
Avarice was, unfortunately, my uncle Chill’s biggest flaw. Even though he was wealthy, he was stingy, hoarding his money and living unhappily. Since Christiana didn’t have any money, I was a bit worried about telling him about our engagement for a while; but eventually, I wrote him a letter explaining everything. I handed it to him one night before going to bed.
As I came down-stairs next morning, shivering in the cold December air; colder in my uncle’s unwarmed house than in the street, where the winter sun did sometimes shine, and which was at all events enlivened by cheerful faces and voices passing along; I carried a heavy heart towards the long, low breakfast-room in which my uncle sat. It was a large room with a small fire, and there was a great bay window in it which the rain had marked in the night as if with the tears of houseless people. It stared upon a raw yard, with a cracked stone pavement, and some rusted iron railings half uprooted, whence an ugly out-building that had once been a dissecting-room (in the time of the great surgeon who had mortgaged the house to my uncle), stared at it.
As I came downstairs the next morning, shivering in the cold December air—colder in my uncle’s unheated house than outside, where the winter sun occasionally shone and where cheerful faces and voices passed by—I made my way with a heavy heart toward the long, low breakfast room where my uncle sat. It was a large room with a small fire, featuring a big bay window that the rain had streaked during the night, as if marking it with the tears of homeless people. It overlooked a dreary yard with cracked stone pavement and some rusted iron railings that were half uprooted, from which an ugly outbuilding that had once been a dissecting room (back when the great surgeon who had mortgaged the house to my uncle was around) gazed back at us.
We rose so early always, that at that time of the year we breakfasted by candle-light. When I went into the room, my uncle was so contracted by the cold, and so huddled together in his chair behind the one dim candle, that I did not see him until I was close to the table.
We always woke up so early that during that time of year, we had breakfast by candlelight. When I entered the room, my uncle was so hunched up from the cold and so curled up in his chair behind the one faint candle that I didn't see him until I got close to the table.
As I held out my hand to him, he caught up his stick (being infirm, he always walked about the house with a stick), and made a blow at me, and said, “You fool!”
As I reached out my hand to him, he grabbed his stick (since he was unwell, he always moved around the house with it) and swung at me, saying, “You idiot!”
“Uncle,” I returned, “I didn’t expect you to be so angry as this.” Nor had I expected it, though he was a hard and angry old man.
“Uncle,” I replied, “I didn’t expect you to be this angry.” Nor had I expected it, even though he was a tough and angry old man.
“You didn’t expect!” said he; “when did you ever expect? When did you ever calculate, or look forward, you contemptible dog?”
"You didn't expect it!" he said. "When did you ever expect anything? When did you ever plan or look ahead, you worthless dog?"
“These are hard words, uncle!”
"These are tough words, uncle!"
“Hard words? Feathers, to pelt such an idiot as you with,” said he. “Here! Betsy Snap! Look at him!”
“Harsh words? Feathers to throw at an idiot like you,” he said. “Hey! Betsy Snap! Check him out!”
Betsy Snap was a withered, hard-favoured, yellow old woman—our only domestic—always employed, at this time of the morning, in rubbing my uncle’s legs. As my uncle adjured her to look at me, he put his lean grip on the crown of her head, she kneeling beside him, and turned her face towards me. An involuntary thought connecting them both with the Dissecting Room, as it must often have been in the surgeon’s time, passed across my mind in the midst of my anxiety.
Betsy Snap was a wrinkled, tough-looking, old woman—our only housekeeper—always busy at this time of the morning rubbing my uncle’s legs. As my uncle urged her to look at me, he placed his thin hand on the top of her head while she knelt beside him and turned her face towards me. In the middle of my anxiety, a sudden thought connected them both to the Dissecting Room, as it must have often been during the surgeon’s time.
“Look at the snivelling milksop!” said my uncle. “Look at the baby! This is the gentleman who, people say, is nobody’s enemy but his own. This is the gentleman who can’t say no. This is the gentleman who was making such large profits in his business that he must needs take a partner, t’other day. This is the gentleman who is going to marry a wife without a penny, and who falls into the hands of Jezabels who are speculating on my death!”
“Look at the whiny coward!” said my uncle. “Look at the baby! This is the guy who, as people say, is nobody’s enemy but his own. This is the guy who can’t say no. This is the guy who was making such huge profits in his business that he had to take on a partner the other day. This is the guy who is going to marry a woman with no money, and who ends up in the clutches of gold diggers who are betting on my death!”
I knew, now, how great my uncle’s rage was; for nothing short of his being almost beside himself would have induced him to utter that concluding word, which he held in such repugnance that it was never spoken or hinted at before him on any account.
I realized now how deep my uncle's anger was; because nothing less than him being completely out of control would have made him say that final word, which he detested so much that it was never spoken or even suggested around him for any reason.
“On my death,” he repeated, as if he were defying me by defying his own abhorrence of the word. “On my death—death—Death! But I’ll spoil the speculation. Eat your last under this roof, you feeble wretch, and may it choke you!”
“On my death,” he repeated, as if he were challenging me by confronting his own disgust for the word. “On my death—death—Death! But I’ll ruin the speculation. Eat your last meal under this roof, you pathetic wretch, and I hope it chokes you!”
You may suppose that I had not much appetite for the breakfast to which I was bidden in these terms; but, I took my accustomed seat. I saw that I was repudiated henceforth by my uncle; still I could bear that very well, possessing Christiana’s heart.
You might think I wasn't very hungry for the breakfast I was invited to, but I took my usual seat. I realized that my uncle had completely rejected me; still, I could handle it just fine, since I had Christiana’s heart.
He emptied his basin of bread and milk as usual, only that he took it on his knees with his chair turned away from the table where I sat. When he had done, he carefully snuffed out the candle; and the cold, slate-coloured, miserable day looked in upon us.
He finished his bowl of bread and milk as usual, but this time he sat with his chair turned away from the table where I was. When he was done, he carefully blew out the candle; and the cold, gray, gloomy day came in on us.
“Now, Mr. Michael,” said he, “before we part, I should like to have a word with these ladies in your presence.”
“Now, Mr. Michael,” he said, “before we leave, I’d like to have a word with these ladies while you’re here.”
“As you will, sir,” I returned; “but you deceive yourself, and wrong us, cruelly, if you suppose that there is any feeling at stake in this contract but pure, disinterested, faithful love.”
“As you wish, sir,” I replied; “but you’re fooling yourself and treating us unfairly if you think there’s anything at stake in this agreement other than genuine, selfless, faithful love.”
To this, he only replied, “You lie!” and not one other word.
To this, he simply said, “You’re lying!” and that was it.
We went, through half-thawed snow and half-frozen rain, to the house where Christiana and her mother lived. My uncle knew them very well. They were sitting at their breakfast, and were surprised to see us at that hour.
We walked through half-thawed snow and drizzles of icy rain to the house where Christiana and her mother lived. My uncle was quite familiar with them. They were having breakfast and looked surprised to see us at that time.
“Your servant, ma’am,” said my uncle to the mother. “You divine the purpose of my visit, I dare say, ma’am. I understand there is a world of pure, disinterested, faithful love cooped up here. I am happy to bring it all it wants, to make it complete. I bring you your son-in-law, ma’am—and you, your husband, miss. The gentleman is a perfect stranger to me, but I wish him joy of his wise bargain.”
“Your servant, ma’am,” my uncle said to the mother. “I assume you can guess why I’m here, ma’am. I understand there’s a world of pure, selfless, loyal love waiting here. I’m happy to provide whatever it needs to be complete. I bring you your son-in-law, ma’am—and you, your husband, miss. This gentleman is a total stranger to me, but I wish him joy in his smart choice.”
He snarled at me as he went out, and I never saw him again.
He growled at me as he left, and I never saw him again.
It is altogether a mistake (continued the poor relation) to suppose that my dear Christiana, over-persuaded and influenced by her mother, married a rich man, the dirt from whose carriage wheels is often, in these changed times, thrown upon me as she rides by. No, no. She married me.
It’s completely wrong (continued the poor relative) to think that my dear Christiana, who was swayed and influenced by her mother, married a wealthy man, whose carriage wheels often throw dirt on me as she passes by in these changed times. No, no. She married me.
The way we came to be married rather sooner than we intended, was this. I took a frugal lodging and was saving and planning for her sake, when, one day, she spoke to me with great earnestness, and said:
The way we ended up getting married sooner than we planned was like this. I found a cheap place to live and was saving and making plans for her, when one day, she spoke to me very seriously and said:
“My dear Michael, I have given you my heart. I have said that I loved you, and I have pledged myself to be your wife. I am as much yours through all changes of good and evil as if we had been married on the day when such words passed between us. I know you well, and know that if we should be separated and our union broken off, your whole life would be shadowed, and all that might, even now, be stronger in your character for the conflict with the world would then be weakened to the shadow of what it is!”
“My dear Michael, I have given you my heart. I have said that I love you, and I have committed to being your wife. I am just as much yours through all the ups and downs as if we had been married on the day we exchanged those words. I know you well, and I understand that if we were to be separated and our union ended, your entire life would be dimmed, and all that could, even now, be stronger in your character from facing the challenges of the world would then be reduced to a mere shadow of what it is!”
“God help me, Christiana!” said I. “You speak the truth.”
“God help me, Christiana!” I said. “You're telling the truth.”
“Michael!” said she, putting her hand in mine, in all maidenly devotion, “let us keep apart no longer. It is but for me to say that I can live contented upon such means as you have, and I well know you are happy. I say so from my heart. Strive no more alone; let us strive together. My dear Michael, it is not right that I should keep secret from you what you do not suspect, but what distresses my whole life. My mother: without considering that what you have lost, you have lost for me, and on the assurance of my faith: sets her heart on riches, and urges another suit upon me, to my misery. I cannot bear this, for to bear it is to be untrue to you. I would rather share your struggles than look on. I want no better home than you can give me. I know that you will aspire and labour with a higher courage if I am wholly yours, and let it be so when you will!”
“Michael!” she said, taking my hand in hers with all the sincerity of a devoted heart, “let's not stay apart any longer. I just need to say that I can be happy with what you have, and I know you’re happy too. I truly mean that. Stop trying to handle everything alone; let’s work together. My dear Michael, it’s not fair for me to keep from you what you don’t know but which causes me so much distress. My mother, not realizing that what you’ve lost, you’ve lost for me and based on my promise to you, is focused on wealth and pushing another proposal on me, which is killing me inside. I can't stand this because to endure it would be disloyal to you. I would rather face your challenges than just watch. I don’t want a better home than what you can offer me. I know that you will aim higher and work harder if I’m completely yours, so let it be that way whenever you’re ready!”
I was blest indeed, that day, and a new world opened to me. We were married in a very little while, and I took my wife to our happy home. That was the beginning of the residence I have spoken of; the Castle we have ever since inhabited together, dates from that time. All our children have been born in it. Our first child—now married—was a little girl, whom we called Christiana. Her son is so like Little Frank, that I hardly know which is which.
I was truly blessed that day, and a whole new world opened up for me. We got married shortly after, and I took my wife to our lovely home. That marked the start of the place I've mentioned; the castle we've lived in together since then began at that time. All our children were born there. Our first child—now married—was a little girl named Christiana. Her son looks so much like Little Frank that I can barely tell them apart.
The current impression as to my partner’s dealings with me is also quite erroneous. He did not begin to treat me coldly, as a poor simpleton, when my uncle and I so fatally quarrelled; nor did he afterwards gradually possess himself of our business and edge me out. On the contrary, he behaved to me with the utmost good faith and honour.
The current impression of my partner’s behavior towards me is completely wrong. He didn’t start treating me coldly or like I was a fool when my uncle and I had that terrible fight; nor did he slowly take over our business and push me aside afterward. On the contrary, he treated me with nothing but good faith and honor.
Matters between us took this turn:—On the day of my separation from my uncle, and even before the arrival at our counting-house of my trunks (which he sent after me, not carriage paid), I went down to our room of business, on our little wharf, overlooking the river; and there I told John Spatter what had happened. John did not say, in reply, that rich old relatives were palpable facts, and that love and sentiment were moonshine and fiction. He addressed me thus:
Matters between us changed like this: On the day I parted ways with my uncle, even before my trunks arrived at our office (which he sent to me, not prepaid), I went down to our workspace on the small wharf by the river, and there I told John Spatter what had happened. John didn’t respond by saying that wealthy old relatives were obvious realities and that love and sentiment were just fantasies. He addressed me like this:
“Michael,” said John, “we were at school together, and I generally had the knack of getting on better than you, and making a higher reputation.”
“Michael,” John said, “we were in school together, and I usually had a better way of getting along than you and earning a higher reputation.”
“You had, John,” I returned.
"You had, John," I replied.
“Although” said John, “I borrowed your books and lost them; borrowed your pocket-money, and never repaid it; got you to buy my damaged knives at a higher price than I had given for them new; and to own to the windows that I had broken.”
“Even though,” said John, “I borrowed your books and lost them; took your pocket money and never paid it back; got you to buy my broken knives for more than I originally paid for them; and admitted to the windows that I had broken.”
“All not worth mentioning, John Spatter,” said I, “but certainly true.”
"Nothing to write home about, John Spatter," I said, "but it's definitely true."
“When you were first established in this infant business, which promises to thrive so well,” pursued John, “I came to you, in my search for almost any employment, and you made me your clerk.”
“When you first started this new business that looks like it’s going to do really well,” John continued, “I came to you looking for just about any job, and you hired me as your clerk.”
“Still not worth mentioning, my dear John Spatter,” said I; “still, equally true.”
“Still not worth mentioning, my dear John Spatter,” I said; “still, it’s just as true.”
“And finding that I had a good head for business, and that I was really useful to the business, you did not like to retain me in that capacity, and thought it an act of justice soon to make me your partner.”
“And realizing that I had a knack for business and that I was truly valuable to the business, you didn't want to keep me in that role and believed it was only fair to soon make me your partner.”
“Still less worth mentioning than any of those other little circumstances you have recalled, John Spatter,” said I; “for I was, and am, sensible of your merits and my deficiencies.”
“Even less worth mentioning than any of those other little things you just brought up, John Spatter,” I said; “because I was, and still am, aware of your strengths and my shortcomings.”
“Now, my good friend,” said John, drawing my arm through his, as he had had a habit of doing at school; while two vessels outside the windows of our counting-house—which were shaped like the stern windows of a ship—went lightly down the river with the tide, as John and I might then be sailing away in company, and in trust and confidence, on our voyage of life; “let there, under these friendly circumstances, be a right understanding between us. You are too easy, Michael. You are nobody’s enemy but your own. If I were to give you that damaging character among our connexion, with a shrug, and a shake of the head, and a sigh; and if I were further to abuse the trust you place in me—”
“Now, my good friend,” John said, linking his arm through mine like he used to do in school; while two boats outside the windows of our office—shaped like the back windows of a ship—glided gently down the river with the tide, almost like John and I were setting off together on our journey of life in trust and good faith; “given these friendly circumstances, let’s make sure we have a clear understanding between us. You’re too easygoing, Michael. You’re your own worst enemy. If I were to spread damaging rumors about you among our group, with just a shrug, a shake of the head, and a sigh; and if I were to betray the trust you place in me—”
“But you never will abuse it at all, John,” I observed.
“But you will never abuse it, John,” I remarked.
“Never!” said he; “but I am putting a case—I say, and if I were further to abuse that trust by keeping this piece of our common affairs in the dark, and this other piece in the light, and again this other piece in the twilight, and so on, I should strengthen my strength, and weaken your weakness, day by day, until at last I found myself on the high road to fortune, and you left behind on some bare common, a hopeless number of miles out of the way.”
“Never!” he said. “But let's consider a scenario—I mean, if I were to misuse that trust by keeping one part of our shared issues hidden, another part exposed, and yet another part in between, I would be boosting my own power while diminishing your vulnerability, day by day, until eventually I found myself on the path to success, and you left behind on some desolate stretch, hopelessly far off course.”
“Exactly so,” said I.
"Exactly," I said.
“To prevent this, Michael,” said John Spatter, “or the remotest chance of this, there must be perfect openness between us. Nothing must be concealed, and we must have but one interest.”
“To prevent this, Michael,” said John Spatter, “or even the slightest chance of it happening, we need complete transparency between us. Nothing should be hidden, and we should only have one shared interest.”
“My dear John Spatter,” I assured him, “that is precisely what I mean.”
“My dear John Spatter,” I assured him, “that's exactly what I mean.”
“And when you are too easy,” pursued John, his face glowing with friendship, “you must allow me to prevent that imperfection in your nature from being taken advantage of, by any one; you must not expect me to humour it—”
“And when you’re too accommodating,” John continued, his face beaming with friendship, “you have to let me help you prevent that flaw in your character from being exploited by anyone; you can’t expect me to go along with it—”
“My dear John Spatter,” I interrupted, “I don’t expect you to humour it. I want to correct it.”
“My dear John Spatter,” I interrupted, “I don’t expect you to entertain it. I want to fix it.”
“And I, too,” said John.
“And I, too,” John said.
“Exactly so!” cried I. “We both have the same end in view; and, honourably seeking it, and fully trusting one another, and having but one interest, ours will be a prosperous and happy partnership.”
“Exactly!” I exclaimed. “We both have the same goal in mind; and, by genuinely pursuing it, fully trusting each other, and sharing a single interest, our partnership will be successful and fulfilling.”
“I am sure of it!” returned John Spatter. And we shook hands most affectionately.
“I’m sure of it!” replied John Spatter. And we shook hands very warmly.
I took John home to my Castle, and we had a very happy day. Our partnership throve well. My friend and partner supplied what I wanted, as I had foreseen that he would, and by improving both the business and myself, amply acknowledged any little rise in life to which I had helped him.
I took John home to my place, and we had a really great day. Our partnership was thriving. My friend and partner provided exactly what I needed, just as I had expected he would, and by improving both the business and myself, he acknowledged every little improvement in life that I had contributed to.
I am not (said the poor relation, looking at the fire as he slowly rubbed his hands) very rich, for I never cared to be that; but I have enough, and am above all moderate wants and anxieties. My Castle is not a splendid place, but it is very comfortable, and it has a warm and cheerful air, and is quite a picture of Home.
I’m not very wealthy, said the poor relative, staring at the fire as he rubbed his hands together slowly. I never really wanted to be rich; I just have enough to get by, and I’m free from most wants and worries. My place isn’t luxurious, but it’s cozy and has a warm, cheerful vibe. It really feels like Home.
Our eldest girl, who is very like her mother, married John Spatter’s eldest son. Our two families are closely united in other ties of attachment. It is very pleasant of an evening, when we are all assembled together—which frequently happens—and when John and I talk over old times, and the one interest there has always been between us.
Our oldest daughter, who is a lot like her mom, married John Spatter’s oldest son. Our two families are closely connected in other ways as well. It’s really nice in the evenings when we’re all together—which happens often—and when John and I reminisce about old times and the one thing that has always linked us.
I really do not know, in my Castle, what loneliness is. Some of our children or grandchildren are always about it, and the young voices of my descendants are delightful—O, how delightful!—to me to hear. My dearest and most devoted wife, ever faithful, ever loving, ever helpful and sustaining and consoling, is the priceless blessing of my house; from whom all its other blessings spring. We are rather a musical family, and when Christiana sees me, at any time, a little weary or depressed, she steals to the piano and sings a gentle air she used to sing when we were first betrothed. So weak a man am I, that I cannot bear to hear it from any other source. They played it once, at the Theatre, when I was there with Little Frank; and the child said wondering, “Cousin Michael, whose hot tears are these that have fallen on my hand!”
I honestly have no idea what loneliness feels like in my Castle. Some of our kids or grandkids are always around, and the young voices of my descendants are a joy to hear—oh, how wonderful! My dearest and most devoted wife, always faithful, always loving, always supportive and comforting, is the priceless blessing of our home; she is the source of all its other blessings. We're quite a musical family, and whenever Christiana sees me looking a bit tired or down, she quietly goes to the piano and sings a gentle tune she used to sing when we first got engaged. I'm such a weak man that I can't stand to hear it from anyone else. They played it once at the Theatre when I was there with Little Frank, and the child asked in surprise, “Cousin Michael, whose hot tears are these that have fallen on my hand!”
Such is my Castle, and such are the real particulars of my life therein preserved. I often take Little Frank home there. He is very welcome to my grandchildren, and they play together. At this time of the year—the Christmas and New Year time—I am seldom out of my Castle. For, the associations of the season seem to hold me there, and the precepts of the season seem to teach me that it is well to be there.
This is my Castle, and these are the true details of my life stored in it. I often bring Little Frank home with me. He is very welcome to my grandchildren, and they play together. Around this time of year—the Christmas and New Year season—I rarely leave my Castle. The memories of the season seem to keep me there, and the lessons of the season remind me that it's good to be there.
“And the Castle is—” observed a grave, kind voice among the company.
“And the Castle is—” remarked a serious, gentle voice among the group.
“Yes. My Castle,” said the poor relation, shaking his head as he still looked at the fire, “is in the Air. John our esteemed host suggests its situation accurately. My Castle is in the Air! I have done. Will you be so good as to pass the story?”
“Yes. My Castle,” said the poor relation, shaking his head as he continued to gaze at the fire, “is in the Air. John, our esteemed host, describes its location perfectly. My Castle is in the Air! I have finished. Will you be so kind as to pass the story?”
p. 47p. 47THE
CHILD’S STORY.
[1852]
Once upon a time, a good many years ago, there was a traveller, and he set out upon a journey. It was a magic journey, and was to seem very long when he began it, and very short when he got half way through.
Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a traveler who started a journey. It was a magical journey that felt really long at the start but very short when he was halfway through.
He travelled along a rather dark path for some little time, without meeting anything, until at last he came to a beautiful child. So he said to the child, “What do you do here?” And the child said, “I am always at play. Come and play with me!”
He walked down a pretty dark path for a while, without encountering anything, until finally he saw a beautiful child. So he asked the child, “What are you doing here?” And the child replied, “I’m always playing. Come and play with me!”
So, he played with that child, the whole day long, and they were very merry. The sky was so blue, the sun was so bright, the water was so sparkling, the leaves were so green, the flowers were so lovely, and they heard such singing-birds and saw so many butteries, that everything was beautiful. This was in fine weather. When it rained, they loved to watch the falling drops, and to smell the fresh scents. When it blew, it was delightful to listen to the wind, and fancy what it said, as it came rushing from its home—where was that, they wondered!—whistling and howling, driving the clouds before it, bending the trees, rumbling in the chimneys, shaking the house, and making the sea roar in fury. But, when it snowed, that was best of all; for, they liked nothing so well as to look up at the white flakes falling fast and thick, like down from the breasts of millions of white birds; and to see how smooth and deep the drift was; and to listen to the hush upon the paths and roads.
So, he played with that child all day long, and they had a great time. The sky was so blue, the sun was so bright, the water was so sparkling, the leaves were so green, the flowers were so beautiful, and they heard lovely singing birds and saw so many butterflies that everything felt perfect. This was during nice weather. When it rained, they enjoyed watching the drops fall and smelling the fresh scents. When it got windy, it was exciting to listen to the wind and imagine what it was saying as it rushed by—where did it come from, they wondered!—whistling and howling, pushing the clouds along, bending the trees, rumbling in the chimneys, shaking the house, and making the sea roar with anger. But when it snowed, that was the best part of all; they loved nothing more than watching the white flakes fall fast and thick, like down from millions of white birds, and seeing how smooth and deep the snowdrift was, and listening to the quiet over the paths and roads.
They had plenty of the finest toys in the world, and the most astonishing picture-books: all about scimitars and slippers and turbans, and dwarfs and giants and genii and fairies, and blue-beards and bean-stalks and riches and caverns and forests and Valentines and Orsons: and all new and all true.
They had a lot of the best toys in the world and the most incredible picture books: all about swords and slippers and turbans, and dwarfs and giants and genies and fairies, and bluebeards and beanstalks and treasures and caves and forests and Valentines and Orsons: all new and all real.
But, one day, of a sudden, the traveller lost the child. He called to him over and over again, but got no answer. So, he went upon his road, and went on for a little while without meeting anything, until at last he came to a handsome boy. So, he said to the boy, “What do you do here?” And the boy said, “I am always learning. Come and learn with me.”
But one day, suddenly, the traveler lost the child. He called out for him again and again, but received no response. So he continued on his journey for a little while without encountering anything, until he finally came across a handsome boy. He asked the boy, “What are you doing here?” And the boy replied, “I’m always learning. Come and learn with me.”
So he learned with that boy about Jupiter and Juno, and the Greeks and the Romans, and I don’t know what, and learned more than I could tell—or he either, for he soon forgot a great deal of it. But, they were not always learning; they had the merriest games that ever were played. They rowed upon the river in summer, and skated on the ice in winter; they were active afoot, and active on horseback; at cricket, and all games at ball; at prisoner’s base, hare and hounds, follow my leader, and more sports than I can think of; nobody could beat them. They had holidays too, and Twelfth cakes, and parties where they danced till midnight, and real Theatres where they saw palaces of real gold and silver rise out of the real earth, and saw all the wonders of the world at once. As to friends, they had such dear friends and so many of them, that I want the time to reckon them up. They were all young, like the handsome boy, and were never to be strange to one another all their lives through.
So he learned with that boy about Jupiter and Juno, and the Greeks and the Romans, and a bunch of other stuff, and learned more than I can explain—or he could either, since he soon forgot a lot of it. But they weren’t always learning; they had the best games ever played. They rowed on the river in summer and skated on the ice in winter; they were active on foot and on horseback; playing cricket, all kinds of ball games, prisoner’s base, hare and hounds, follow my leader, and more sports than I can name; no one could beat them. They had holidays too, and Twelfth cakes, and parties where they danced until midnight, and real theaters where they watched palaces of real gold and silver rise out of the ground and saw all the wonders of the world at once. As for friends, they had such dear friends and so many of them, that I don’t have time to count them all. They were all young, like the handsome boy, and would never be strangers to one another throughout their lives.
Still, one day, in the midst of all these pleasures, the traveller lost the boy as he had lost the child, and, after calling to him in vain, went on upon his journey. So he went on for a little while without seeing anything, until at last he came to a young man. So, he said to the young man, “What do you do here?” And the young man said, “I am always in love. Come and love with me.”
Still, one day, in the middle of all these pleasures, the traveler lost the boy just like he had lost the child, and after calling out for him in vain, he continued on his journey. He walked for a little while without seeing anything until he finally came across a young man. He asked the young man, "What are you doing here?" The young man replied, "I'm always in love. Come and love with me."
So, he went away with that young man, and presently they came to one of the prettiest girls that ever was seen—just like Fanny in the corner there—and she had eyes like Fanny, and hair like Fanny, and dimples like Fanny’s, and she laughed and coloured just as Fanny does while I am talking about her. So, the young man fell in love directly—just as Somebody I won’t mention, the first time he came here, did with Fanny. Well! he was teased sometimes—just as Somebody used to be by Fanny; and they quarrelled sometimes—just as Somebody and Fanny used to quarrel; and they made it up, and sat in the dark, and wrote letters every day, and never were happy asunder, and were always looking out for one another and pretending not to, and were engaged at Christmas-time, and sat close to one another by the fire, and were going to be married very soon—all exactly like Somebody I won’t mention, and Fanny!
So, he went off with that young guy, and soon they came across one of the prettiest girls you'd ever see—just like Fanny over there—and she had eyes like Fanny, hair like Fanny, dimples like Fanny’s, and she laughed and blushed just like Fanny does while I’m talking about her. So, the young man fell in love right away—just like Someone I won’t name did the first time he came here with Fanny. Well! Sometimes he got teased—just like Someone used to by Fanny; and they fought sometimes—just like Someone and Fanny used to fight; and they made up, and sat in the dark, and wrote letters every day, and were never happy apart, and were always looking out for each other while pretending not to, and got engaged at Christmas, and sat close together by the fire, and were planning to get married very soon—all exactly like Someone I won’t name and Fanny!
But, the traveller lost them one day, as he had lost the rest of his friends, and, after calling to them to come back, which they never did, went on upon his journey. So, he went on for a little while without seeing anything, until at last he came to a middle-aged gentleman. So, he said to the gentleman, “What are you doing here?” And his answer was, “I am always busy. Come and be busy with me!”
But one day, the traveler lost them, just like he had lost his other friends. After calling for them to come back, which they never did, he continued on his journey. He went on for a bit without seeing anything until he finally came across a middle-aged man. So, he asked the man, "What are you doing here?" The man replied, "I'm always busy. Come and be busy with me!"
So, he began to be very busy with that gentleman, and they went on through the wood together. The whole journey was through a wood, only it had been open and green at first, like a wood in spring; and now began to be thick and dark, like a wood in summer; some of the little trees that had come out earliest, were even turning brown. The gentleman was not alone, but had a lady of about the same age with him, who was his Wife; and they had children, who were with them too. So, they all went on together through the wood, cutting down the trees, and making a path through the branches and the fallen leaves, and carrying burdens, and working hard.
So, he got really busy with that man, and they walked through the forest together. The entire journey was through a forest, which had started out open and green, like a spring woods; and now it was becoming dense and dark, like a summer woods; some of the young trees that had sprouted earliest were even turning brown. The man wasn't alone but had a woman about the same age with him, who was his wife; and they had their kids with them too. So, they all continued together through the forest, cutting down trees, creating a path through the branches and fallen leaves, carrying loads, and working hard.
Sometimes, they came to a long green avenue that opened into deeper woods. Then they would hear a very little, distant voice crying, “Father, father, I am another child! Stop for me!” And presently they would see a very little figure, growing larger as it came along, running to join them. When it came up, they all crowded round it, and kissed and welcomed it; and then they all went on together.
Sometimes, they would come to a long green path that led into thicker woods. Then they would hear a faint, distant voice calling, “Dad, Dad, I’m another kid! Wait for me!” Soon, they would see a small figure, getting bigger as it approached, running to catch up with them. When it arrived, they all gathered around it, kissed it, and welcomed it; then they all continued on together.
Sometimes, they came to several avenues at once, and then they all stood still, and one of the children said, “Father, I am going to sea,” and another said, “Father, I am going to India,” and another, “Father, I am going to seek my fortune where I can,” and another, “Father, I am going to Heaven!” So, with many tears at parting, they went, solitary, down those avenues, each child upon its way; and the child who went to Heaven, rose into the golden air and vanished.
Sometimes, they came to several paths at once, and then they all stood still, and one of the children said, “Dad, I’m going to sea,” and another said, “Dad, I’m going to India,” and another, “Dad, I’m going to find my fortune wherever I can,” and another, “Dad, I’m going to Heaven!” So, with many tears at parting, they went, alone, down those paths, each child on their way; and the child who went to Heaven rose into the golden sky and disappeared.
Whenever these partings happened, the traveller looked at the gentleman, and saw him glance up at the sky above the trees, where the day was beginning to decline, and the sunset to come on. He saw, too, that his hair was turning grey. But, they never could rest long, for they had their journey to perform, and it was necessary for them to be always busy.
Whenever these partings occurred, the traveler looked at the gentleman and noticed him glancing up at the sky above the trees, where the day was starting to fade and the sunset was approaching. He also noticed that the gentleman's hair was turning gray. However, they could never rest for long because they had their journey to complete, and it was important for them to stay busy.
At last, there had been so many partings that there were no children left, and only the traveller, the gentleman, and the lady, went upon their way in company. And now the wood was yellow; and now brown; and the leaves, even of the forest trees, began to fall.
At last, there had been so many goodbyes that there were no children left, and only the traveler, the gentleman, and the lady continued on their way together. Now the woods were yellow; then brown; and the leaves, even from the trees in the forest, started to fall.
So, they came to an avenue that was darker than the rest, and were pressing forward on their journey without looking down it when the lady stopped.
So, they reached a street that was darker than the others and were moving forward on their journey without glancing down it when the lady stopped.
“My husband,” said the lady. “I am called.”
“My husband,” said the woman. “I’m being summoned.”
They listened, and they heard a voice a long way down the avenue, say, “Mother, mother!”
They listened and heard a voice far down the avenue say, "Mom, Mom!"
It was the voice of the first child who had said, “I am going to Heaven!” and the father said, “I pray not yet. The sunset is very near. I pray not yet!”
It was the voice of the first child who said, "I'm going to Heaven!" and the father replied, "I hope not yet. The sunset is really close. I hope not yet!"
But, the voice cried, “Mother, mother!” without minding him, though his hair was now quite white, and tears were on his face.
But the voice cried, “Mom, Mom!” without paying any attention to him, even though his hair was now completely white and tears were streaming down his face.
Then, the mother, who was already drawn into the shade of the dark avenue and moving away with her arms still round his neck, kissed him, and said, “My dearest, I am summoned, and I go!” And she was gone. And the traveller and he were left alone together.
Then, the mother, who was already in the shade of the dark street and walking away with her arms still around his neck, kissed him and said, “My dearest, I’m being called, and I have to go!” And she was gone. And the traveler and he were left alone together.
And they went on and on together, until they came to very near the end of the wood: so near, that they could see the sunset shining red before them through the trees.
And they kept walking together until they were almost at the end of the woods: so close that they could see the sunset glowing red in front of them through the trees.
Yet, once more, while he broke his way among the branches, the traveller lost his friend. He called and called, but there was no reply, and when he passed out of the wood, and saw the peaceful sun going down upon a wide purple prospect, he came to an old man sitting on a fallen tree. So, he said to the old man, “What do you do here?” And the old man said with a calm smile, “I am always remembering. Come and remember with me!”
Yet again, as he pushed through the branches, the traveler lost track of his friend. He called out repeatedly, but there was no answer. When he emerged from the woods and saw the peaceful sun setting over a vast purple landscape, he noticed an old man sitting on a fallen tree. He approached the old man and asked, “What are you doing here?” The old man replied with a calm smile, “I’m always remembering. Come and remember with me!”
So the traveller sat down by the side of that old man, face to face with the serene sunset; and all his friends came softly back and stood around him. The beautiful child, the handsome boy, the young man in love, the father, mother, and children: every one of them was there, and he had lost nothing. So, he loved them all, and was kind and forbearing with them all, and was always pleased to watch them all, and they all honoured and loved him. And I think the traveller must be yourself, dear Grandfather, because this what you do to us, and what we do to you.
So the traveler sat down next to that old man, facing the calm sunset; and all his friends quietly returned and stood around him. The beautiful child, the handsome boy, the young man in love, the father, mother, and children: each one of them was there, and he hadn’t lost anything. He loved them all, was kind and patient with them all, and was always happy to watch them all, and they all respected and loved him. And I believe the traveler must be you, dear Grandfather, because this is what you do for us, and what we do for you.
p. 55p. 55THE
SCHOOLBOY’S STORY.
[1853]
Being rather young at present—I am getting on in years, but still I am rather young—I have no particular adventures of my own to fall back upon. It wouldn’t much interest anybody here, I suppose, to know what a screw the Reverend is, or what a griffin she is, or how they do stick it into parents—particularly hair-cutting, and medical attendance. One of our fellows was charged in his half’s account twelve and sixpence for two pills—tolerably profitable at six and threepence a-piece, I should think—and he never took them either, but put them up the sleeve of his jacket.
Being quite young at the moment—I’m a bit older now, but still pretty young—I don’t have any personal adventures to share. I doubt anyone here would be interested to learn what a jerk the Reverend is, or what a nightmare she is, or how they really take advantage of parents—especially with haircuts and medical fees. One of our guys was charged twelve and sixpence for two pills—pretty profitable at six and threepence each, I’d say—and he never even took them; he just slipped them up the sleeve of his jacket.
As to the beef, it’s shameful. It’s not beef. Regular beef isn’t veins. You can chew regular beef. Besides which, there’s gravy to regular beef, and you never see a drop to ours. Another of our fellows went home ill, and heard the family doctor tell his father that he couldn’t account for his complaint unless it was the beer. Of course it was the beer, and well it might be!
As for the beef, it’s embarrassing. It’s not beef. Regular beef doesn’t have veins. You can actually chew regular beef. Plus, regular beef comes with gravy, and you’ll never see a drop of that with ours. Another guy from our group went home sick and heard the family doctor tell his dad that he couldn’t explain his issue unless it was the beer. Of course it was the beer, and it very well could be!
However, beef and Old Cheeseman are two different things. So is beer. It was Old Cheeseman I meant to tell about; not the manner in which our fellows get their constitutions destroyed for the sake of profit.
However, beef and Old Cheeseman are two different things. So is beer. It was Old Cheeseman I meant to talk about; not the way our guys ruin their health for the sake of money.
Why, look at the pie-crust alone. There’s no flakiness in it. It’s solid—like damp lead. Then our fellows get nightmares, and are bolstered for calling out and waking other fellows. Who can wonder!
Why, just look at the pie crust. There's no flakiness at all. It's solid—like wet lead. Then our guys have nightmares and start shouting, waking up others. Who can blame them!
Old Cheeseman one night walked in his sleep, put his hat on over his night-cap, got hold of a fishing-rod and a cricket-bat, and went down into the parlour, where they naturally thought from his appearance he was a Ghost. Why, he never would have done that if his meals had been wholesome. When we all begin to walk in our sleeps, I suppose they’ll be sorry for it.
Old Cheeseman one night sleepwalked, put his hat on over his nightcap, grabbed a fishing rod and a cricket bat, and went down into the living room, where everyone naturally thought he looked like a ghost. Honestly, he wouldn’t have done that if he’d been eating better. When we all start sleepwalking, I guess they’ll regret it.
Old Cheeseman wasn’t second Latin Master then; he was a fellow himself. He was first brought there, very small, in a post-chaise, by a woman who was always taking snuff and shaking him—and that was the most he remembered about it. He never went home for the holidays. His accounts (he never learnt any extras) were sent to a Bank, and the Bank paid them; and he had a brown suit twice a-year, and went into boots at twelve. They were always too big for him, too.
Old Cheeseman wasn’t the second Latin Master back then; he was a student himself. He was first brought there, when he was very small, in a carriage, by a woman who would always take snuff and shake him—and that's about all he remembered from that time. He never went home for the holidays. His accounts (he never learned anything extra) were sent to a bank, and the bank took care of them; he got a brown suit twice a year and started wearing boots at twelve. They were always too big for him, too.
In the Midsummer holidays, some of our fellows who lived within walking distance, used to come back and climb the trees outside the playground wall, on purpose to look at Old Cheeseman reading there by himself. He was always as mild as the tea—and that’s pretty mild, I should hope!—so when they whistled to him, he looked up and nodded; and when they said, “Halloa, Old Cheeseman, what have you had for dinner?” he said, “Boiled mutton;” and when they said, “An’t it solitary, Old Cheeseman?” he said, “It is a little dull sometimes:” and then they said, “Well good-bye, Old Cheeseman!” and climbed down again. Of course it was imposing on Old Cheeseman to give him nothing but boiled mutton through a whole Vacation, but that was just like the system. When they didn’t give him boiled mutton, they gave him rice pudding, pretending it was a treat. And saved the butcher.
During the Midsummer holidays, some of our friends who lived close by used to come back and climb the trees outside the playground wall just to watch Old Cheeseman reading there by himself. He was always as easygoing as tea—and that’s pretty easygoing, I hope!—so when they whistled to him, he looked up and nodded; and when they asked, “Hey, Old Cheeseman, what did you have for dinner?” he replied, “Boiled mutton;” and when they said, “Isn’t it lonely, Old Cheeseman?” he answered, “It is a little dull sometimes:” and then they said, “Well, see you later, Old Cheeseman!” and climbed down again. Of course, it was unfair to Old Cheeseman to only give him boiled mutton for the entire break, but that was just like the system. When they didn’t give him boiled mutton, they gave him rice pudding, pretending it was a treat. And they saved money on the butcher.
So Old Cheeseman went on. The holidays brought him into other trouble besides the loneliness; because when the fellows began to come back, not wanting to, he was always glad to see them; which was aggravating when they were not at all glad to see him, and so he got his head knocked against walls, and that was the way his nose bled. But he was a favourite in general. Once a subscription was raised for him; and, to keep up his spirits, he was presented before the holidays with two white mice, a rabbit, a pigeon, and a beautiful puppy. Old Cheeseman cried about it—especially soon afterwards, when they all ate one another.
So Old Cheeseman continued on. The holidays brought him more trouble besides the loneliness, because when the guys started coming back unwillingly, he was always happy to see them; which was frustrating since they weren’t at all happy to see him, and that ended with him getting his head banged against walls, which is how his nose started bleeding. But he was generally popular. At one point, a fund was set up for him; and to lift his spirits, he was given two white mice, a rabbit, a pigeon, and a beautiful puppy just before the holidays. Old Cheeseman cried about it—particularly soon after, when they all ended up eating each other.
Of course Old Cheeseman used to be called by the names of all sorts of cheeses—Double Glo’sterman, Family Cheshireman, Dutchman, North Wiltshireman, and all that. But he never minded it. And I don’t mean to say he was old in point of years—because he wasn’t—only he was called from the first, Old Cheeseman.
Of course, Old Cheeseman was known by all kinds of cheese names—Double Gloucester, Family Cheshire, Dutchman, North Wiltshire, and so on. But he never cared. And I don't mean to say he was old in age—because he wasn’t—he just got called Old Cheeseman from the beginning.
At last, Old Cheeseman was made second Latin Master. He was brought in one morning at the beginning of a new half, and presented to the school in that capacity as “Mr. Cheeseman.” Then our fellows all agreed that Old Cheeseman was a spy, and a deserter, who had gone over to the enemy’s camp, and sold himself for gold. It was no excuse for him that he had sold himself for very little gold—two pound ten a quarter and his washing, as was reported. It was decided by a Parliament which sat about it, that Old Cheeseman’s mercenary motives could alone be taken into account, and that he had “coined our blood for drachmas.” The Parliament took the expression out of the quarrel scene between Brutus and Cassius.
At last, Old Cheeseman was made the second Latin Master. He was introduced one morning at the start of a new term and introduced to the school as “Mr. Cheeseman.” Then we all agreed that Old Cheeseman was a traitor who had switched sides and sold out for money. It didn’t matter that he sold out for very little money—two pounds ten a term and his laundry, or so the rumor went. A group of us decided that Old Cheeseman's greedy motives were all that mattered, and that he had “coined our blood for drachmas.” The group pulled that phrase from the argument between Brutus and Cassius.
When it was settled in this strong way that Old Cheeseman was a tremendous traitor, who had wormed himself into our fellows’ secrets on purpose to get himself into favour by giving up everything he knew, all courageous fellows were invited to come forward and enrol themselves in a Society for making a set against him. The President of the Society was First boy, named Bob Tarter. His father was in the West Indies, and he owned, himself, that his father was worth Millions. He had great power among our fellows, and he wrote a parody, beginning—
When it became clear that Old Cheeseman was a huge traitor, who had infiltrated our group’s secrets just to gain favor by revealing everything he knew, all the brave guys were encouraged to step up and join a Society to oppose him. The President of the Society was the top boy, named Bob Tarter. His dad was in the West Indies and he admitted that his dad was worth millions. He had a lot of influence among us, and he wrote a parody that started—
“Who made believe to be so meek
That we could hardly hear him speak,
Yet turned out an Informing Sneak?
Old Cheeseman.”
“Who acted like he was really calm
That we could hardly hear him speak,
But ended up being a Sneaky Informant?
Old Cheeseman.”
—and on in that way through more than a dozen verses, which he used to go and sing, every morning, close by the new master’s desk. He trained one of the low boys, too, a rosy-cheeked little Brass who didn’t care what he did, to go up to him with his Latin Grammar one morning, and say it so: Nominativus pronominum—Old Cheeseman, raro exprimitur—was never suspected, nisi distinctionis—of being an informer, aut emphasis gratîa—until he proved one. Ut—for instance, Vos damnastis—when he sold the boys. Quasi—as though, dicat—he should say, Pretærea nemo—I’m a Judas! All this produced a great effect on Old Cheeseman. He had never had much hair; but what he had, began to get thinner and thinner every day. He grew paler and more worn; and sometimes of an evening he was seen sitting at his desk with a precious long snuff to his candle, and his hands before his face, crying. But no member of the Society could pity him, even if he felt inclined, because the President said it was Old Cheeseman’s conscience.
—and continued like this through more than a dozen verses, which he would sing every morning right by the new master’s desk. He also trained one of the younger boys, a rosy-cheeked little Brass who didn’t care what he did, to approach him one morning with his Latin Grammar and say it like this: Nominativus pronominum—Old Cheeseman, raro exprimitur—was never suspected, nisi distinctionis—of being an informer, aut emphasis gratîa—until he proved one. Ut—for example, Vos damnastis—when he sold the boys. Quasi—as if, dicat—he should say, Pretærea nemo—I’m a Judas! All this had a huge impact on Old Cheeseman. He never had much hair, but what he did have started to thin out more each day. He became paler and more worn out; and sometimes in the evenings, he was seen sitting at his desk with a long, precious snuff by his candle, hands before his face, crying. But no member of the Society could feel sorry for him, even if they wanted to, because the President said it was Old Cheeseman’s conscience.
So Old Cheeseman went on, and didn’t he lead a miserable life! Of course the Reverend turned up his nose at him, and of course she did—because both of them always do that at all the masters—but he suffered from the fellows most, and he suffered from them constantly. He never told about it, that the Society could find out; but he got no credit for that, because the President said it was Old Cheeseman’s cowardice.
So Old Cheeseman kept going, and didn’t he have a miserable life! Of course, the Reverend looked down on him, and of course she did too—because that's how they always treat all the masters—but he got it worst from the guys, and it was a constant struggle for him. He never talked about it in a way that the Society could discover; but he didn’t get any credit for that, because the President claimed it was just Old Cheeseman being cowardly.
He had only one friend in the world, and that one was almost as powerless as he was, for it was only Jane. Jane was a sort of wardrobe woman to our fellows, and took care of the boxes. She had come at first, I believe, as a kind of apprentice—some of our fellows say from a Charity, but I don’t know—and after her time was out, had stopped at so much a year. So little a year, perhaps I ought to say, for it is far more likely. However, she had put some pounds in the Savings’ Bank, and she was a very nice young woman. She was not quite pretty; but she had a very frank, honest, bright face, and all our fellows were fond of her. She was uncommonly neat and cheerful, and uncommonly comfortable and kind. And if anything was the matter with a fellow’s mother, he always went and showed the letter to Jane.
He had only one friend in the world, and that friend was almost as powerless as he was—Jane. Jane was kind of a wardrobe lady for the guys and took care of their things. She had come in at first, I believe, as some sort of apprentice—some of the guys say she came from a Charity, but I don’t know—and after her time was up, she stayed on for a small salary. A very small salary, really, as that’s probably more accurate. Anyway, she managed to save some money, and she was a really nice young woman. She wasn’t exactly pretty, but she had a very open, honest, bright face, and everyone liked her a lot. She was unusually tidy and cheerful, and very warm and kind. Whenever there was something wrong with a guy’s mom, he always went to show the letter to Jane.
Jane was Old Cheeseman’s friend. The more the Society went against him, the more Jane stood by him. She used to give him a good-humoured look out of her still-room window, sometimes, that seemed to set him up for the day. She used to pass out of the orchard and the kitchen garden (always kept locked, I believe you!) through the playground, when she might have gone the other way, only to give a turn of her head, as much as to say “Keep up your spirits!” to Old Cheeseman. His slip of a room was so fresh and orderly that it was well known who looked after it while he was at his desk; and when our fellows saw a smoking hot dumpling on his plate at dinner, they knew with indignation who had sent it up.
Jane was Old Cheeseman’s friend. The more the Society turned against him, the more Jane stood by his side. Sometimes, she would give him a cheerful glance from her still-room window, which seemed to lift his spirits for the day. She would walk through the playground after passing by the orchard and the kitchen garden (which was always kept locked, I assure you!), just to give a quick look back as if to say, “Stay positive!” to Old Cheeseman. His tiny room was so tidy and well-kept that everyone knew who took care of it while he was at his desk; and when our friends saw a steaming dumpling on his plate at dinner, they felt a mix of indignation and recognition of who had sent it.
Under these circumstances, the Society resolved, after a quantity of meeting and debating, that Jane should be requested to cut Old Cheeseman dead; and that if she refused, she must be sent to Coventry herself. So a deputation, headed by the President, was appointed to wait on Jane, and inform her of the vote the Society had been under the painful necessity of passing. She was very much respected for all her good qualities, and there was a story about her having once waylaid the Reverend in his own study, and got a fellow off from severe punishment, of her own kind comfortable heart. So the deputation didn’t much like the job. However, they went up, and the President told Jane all about it. Upon which Jane turned very red, burst into tears, informed the President and the deputation, in a way not at all like her usual way, that they were a parcel of malicious young savages, and turned the whole respected body out of the room. Consequently it was entered in the Society’s book (kept in astronomical cypher for fear of detection), that all communication with Jane was interdicted: and the President addressed the members on this convincing instance of Old Cheeseman’s undermining.
Under these circumstances, the Society decided, after a lot of meetings and discussions, that Jane should be asked to completely ignore Old Cheeseman; and if she refused, she would have to be ignored herself. So, a group led by the President was chosen to approach Jane and inform her of the vote the Society felt they had to make. She was highly respected for all her good qualities, and there was a story about her having once confronted the Reverend in his own study and saved someone from serious punishment because of her kind heart. So the group wasn't thrilled about the task. However, they went to her, and the President explained everything. Jane got very red, started crying, told the President and the group, in a way that wasn't at all like her usual self, that they were a bunch of cruel young savages, and kicked the entire respected group out of the room. As a result, it was recorded in the Society's book (kept in astronomical code to avoid detection) that all communication with Jane was banned: and the President addressed the members on this clear example of Old Cheeseman's manipulation.
But Jane was as true to Old Cheeseman as Old Cheeseman was false to our fellows—in their opinion, at all events—and steadily continued to be his only friend. It was a great exasperation to the Society, because Jane was as much a loss to them as she was a gain to him; and being more inveterate against him than ever, they treated him worse than ever. At last, one morning, his desk stood empty, his room was peeped into, and found to be vacant, and a whisper went about among the pale faces of our fellows that Old Cheeseman, unable to bear it any longer, had got up early and drowned himself.
But Jane was as loyal to Old Cheeseman as Old Cheeseman was deceitful to our group—in their eyes, at least—and she continued to be his only friend. This frustrated the Society immensely because Jane was as much a loss for them as she was a gain for him, and their resentment towards him grew even stronger, causing them to treat him worse than before. Finally, one morning, his desk was empty, his room was checked and found to be vacant, and a rumor spread among the pale faces of our group that Old Cheeseman, unable to take it anymore, had gotten up early and drowned himself.
The mysterious looks of the other masters after breakfast, and the evident fact that old Cheeseman was not expected, confirmed the Society in this opinion. Some began to discuss whether the President was liable to hanging or only transportation for life, and the President’s face showed a great anxiety to know which. However, he said that a jury of his country should find him game; and that in his address he should put it to them to lay their hands upon their hearts and say whether they as Britons approved of informers, and how they thought they would like it themselves. Some of the Society considered that he had better run away until he found a forest where he might change clothes with a wood-cutter, and stain his face with blackberries; but the majority believed that if he stood his ground, his father—belonging as he did to the West Indies, and being worth millions—could buy him off.
The mysterious stares from the other members after breakfast, along with the obvious fact that old Cheeseman wasn’t expected, reinforced this belief in the Society. Some started to debate whether the President faced hanging or just life in exile, and his expression showed he was really anxious to find out. Still, he claimed that a jury of his peers would see him as innocent; he planned to challenge them to put their hands on their hearts and say whether they, as Britons, approved of informers and how they would feel in the same situation. Some members thought it would be better for him to escape until he could find a forest where he could swap clothes with a woodcutter and cover his face with blackberries; however, the majority felt that if he stood his ground, his father—who was from the West Indies and worth millions—could pay to get him out of trouble.
All our fellows’ hearts beat fast when the Reverend came in, and made a sort of a Roman, or a Field Marshal, of himself with the ruler; as he always did before delivering an address. But their fears were nothing to their astonishment when he came out with the story that Old Cheeseman, “so long our respected friend and fellow-pilgrim in the pleasant plains of knowledge,” he called him—O yes! I dare say! Much of that!—was the orphan child of a disinherited young lady who had married against her father’s wish, and whose young husband had died, and who had died of sorrow herself, and whose unfortunate baby (Old Cheeseman) had been brought up at the cost of a grandfather who would never consent to see it, baby, boy, or man: which grandfather was now dead, and serve him right—that’s my putting in—and which grandfather’s large property, there being no will, was now, and all of a sudden and for ever, Old Cheeseman’s! Our so long respected friend and fellow-pilgrim in the pleasant plains of knowledge, the Reverend wound up a lot of bothering quotations by saying, would “come among us once more” that day fortnight, when he desired to take leave of us himself, in a more particular manner. With these words, he stared severely round at our fellows, and went solemnly out.
All our friends’ hearts raced when the Reverend came in and made a bit of a spectacle of himself with the ruler, as he always did before giving a speech. But their worries were nothing compared to their shock when he revealed the story that Old Cheeseman, “so long our respected friend and fellow-traveler in the joyful journey of knowledge,” as he called him—oh yes! I can believe that!—was actually the orphan child of a disinherited young woman who had married against her father’s wishes, whose young husband had died, and who eventually died of sorrow herself. Her unfortunate baby (Old Cheeseman) was raised at the expense of a grandfather who never agreed to see him, whether as a baby, boy, or man; this grandfather is now dead, and serves him right—just my opinion—since the grandfather’s large estate, with no will, was now, out of the blue and forever, Old Cheeseman’s! Our long-respected friend and fellow-traveler in the joyful journey of knowledge, the Reverend wrapped up a bunch of tedious quotes by saying he would “come among us once more” in a fortnight, when he wanted to personally say goodbye to us in a more specific way. With these words, he gave a stern look around at our friends and solemnly walked out.
There was precious consternation among the members of the Society, now. Lots of them wanted to resign, and lots more began to try to make out that they had never belonged to it. However, the President stuck up, and said that they must stand or fall together, and that if a breach was made it should be over his body—which was meant to encourage the Society: but it didn’t. The President further said, he would consider the position in which they stood, and would give them his best opinion and advice in a few days. This was eagerly looked for, as he knew a good deal of the world on account of his father’s being in the West Indies.
There was a lot of panic among the Society's members now. Many wanted to quit, and even more tried to act like they had never been a part of it. However, the President stood firm and said they had to stick together, and if there was a split, it would be over his dead body—which was supposed to motivate the Society, but it didn’t. The President also said he would assess their situation and give them his best opinion and advice in a few days. This was eagerly anticipated, as he had quite a bit of worldly knowledge because his father was in the West Indies.
After days and days of hard thinking, and drawing armies all over his slate, the President called our fellows together, and made the matter clear. He said it was plain that when Old Cheeseman came on the appointed day, his first revenge would be to impeach the Society, and have it flogged all round. After witnessing with joy the torture of his enemies, and gloating over the cries which agony would extort from them, the probability was that he would invite the Reverend, on pretence of conversation, into a private room—say the parlour into which Parents were shown, where the two great globes were which were never used—and would there reproach him with the various frauds and oppressions he had endured at his hands. At the close of his observations he would make a signal to a Prizefighter concealed in the passage, who would then appear and pitch into the Reverend, till he was left insensible. Old Cheeseman would then make Jane a present of from five to ten pounds, and would leave the establishment in fiendish triumph.
After days of intense thinking and sketching out armies on his slate, the President gathered our group and clarified the situation. He pointed out that when Old Cheeseman arrived on the designated day, his first act of revenge would be to impeach the Society and have it punished all around. After deriving joy from torturing his enemies and reveling in the screams that pain would bring from them, it was likely that he would invite the Reverend, under the guise of a conversation, into a private room—like the parlor where parents were shown, featuring the two large globes that were never used—and there he would confront him about the various deceits and oppressions he had suffered at his hands. At the end of his remarks, he would signal to a prizefighter hidden in the hallway, who would then come in and beat up the Reverend until he was left unconscious. Old Cheeseman would then give Jane a gift of five to ten pounds and leave the establishment in wicked triumph.
The President explained that against the parlour part, or the Jane part, of these arrangements he had nothing to say; but, on the part of the Society, he counselled deadly resistance. With this view he recommended that all available desks should be filled with stones, and that the first word of the complaint should be the signal to every fellow to let fly at Old Cheeseman. The bold advice put the Society in better spirits, and was unanimously taken. A post about Old Cheeseman’s size was put up in the playground, and all our fellows practised at it till it was dinted all over.
The President stated that he had no objections to the social aspect of these arrangements, but on behalf of the Society, he urged complete resistance. To this end, he suggested that all available desks should be stocked with stones, and that the first word of the complaint should signal everyone to throw them at Old Cheeseman. This bold advice lifted the Society’s spirits, and everyone agreed to it. A target depicting Old Cheeseman’s size was put up in the playground, and all the guys practiced on it until it was battered all over.
When the day came, and Places were called, every fellow sat down in a tremble. There had been much discussing and disputing as to how Old Cheeseman would come; but it was the general opinion that he would appear in a sort of triumphal car drawn by four horses, with two livery servants in front, and the Prizefighter in disguise up behind. So, all our fellows sat listening for the sound of wheels. But no wheels were heard, for Old Cheeseman walked after all, and came into the school without any preparation. Pretty much as he used to be, only dressed in black.
When the day arrived and the Places were called, everyone sat down nervously. There had been a lot of talk and debate about how Old Cheeseman would show up; the general belief was that he’d appear in a kind of triumphal car pulled by four horses, with two servants in front and the Prizefighter in disguise at the back. So, everyone sat there listening for the sound of wheels. But no wheels were heard, because Old Cheeseman actually walked in and entered the school without any fanfare. He looked pretty much the same as usual, just dressed in black.
“Gentlemen,” said the Reverend, presenting him, “our so long respected friend and fellow-pilgrim in the pleasant plains of knowledge, is desirous to offer a word or two. Attention, gentlemen, one and all!”
“Gentlemen,” said the Reverend, introducing him, “our long-respected friend and fellow traveler in the enjoyable journey of knowledge would like to say a few words. Please pay attention, everyone!”
Every fellow stole his hand into his desk and looked at the President. The President was all ready, and taking aim at old Cheeseman with his eyes.
Every guy reached into his desk and looked at the President. The President was all set, aiming at old Cheeseman with his gaze.
What did Old Cheeseman then, but walk up to his old desk, look round him with a queer smile as if there was a tear in his eye, and begin in a quavering, mild voice, “My dear companions and old friends!”
What did Old Cheeseman do then, but walk up to his old desk, look around with a strange smile as if he had a tear in his eye, and start in a trembling, gentle voice, “My dear companions and old friends!”
Every fellow’s hand came out of his desk, and the President suddenly began to cry.
Every guy's hand came out of his desk, and the President suddenly started to cry.
“My dear companions and old friends,” said Old Cheeseman, “you have heard of my good fortune. I have passed so many years under this roof—my entire life so far, I may say—that I hope you have been glad to hear of it for my sake. I could never enjoy it without exchanging congratulations with you. If we have ever misunderstood one another at all, pray, my dear boys, let us forgive and forget. I have a great tenderness for you, and I am sure you return it. I want in the fulness of a grateful heart to shake hands with you every one. I have come back to do it, if you please, my dear boys.”
“My dear friends,” said Old Cheeseman, “you’ve heard about my good luck. I’ve spent so many years under this roof—my whole life, really—that I hope you’re happy to hear about it for my sake. I could never truly enjoy it without sharing congratulations with you. If we’ve ever had any misunderstandings, let’s forgive and forget, shall we? I care deeply for you, and I know you feel the same. I want to warmly shake hands with each of you. I’ve returned to do just that, if you all are willing.”
Since the President had begun to cry, several other fellows had broken out here and there: but now, when Old Cheeseman began with him as first boy, laid his left hand affectionately on his shoulder and gave him his right; and when the President said “Indeed, I don’t deserve it, sir; upon my honour I don’t;” there was sobbing and crying all over the school. Every other fellow said he didn’t deserve it, much in the same way; but Old Cheeseman, not minding that a bit, went cheerfully round to every boy, and wound up with every master—finishing off the Reverend last.
Since the President started to cry, several other guys began to tear up here and there: but now, when Old Cheeseman stepped in as the leader, he placed his left hand affectionately on his shoulder and shook his right hand. When the President said, “Honestly, I don’t deserve this, sir; I truly don’t;” there was sobbing and crying all over the school. Every other guy said he didn’t deserve it, almost the same way; but Old Cheeseman, not caring at all, cheerfully went around to every boy and wrapped things up with every teacher—finishing with the Reverend last.
Then a snivelling little chap in a corner, who was always under some punishment or other, set up a shrill cry of “Success to Old Cheeseman! Hooray!” The Reverend glared upon him, and said, “Mr. Cheeseman, sir.” But, Old Cheeseman protesting that he liked his old name a great deal better than his new one, all our fellows took up the cry; and, for I don’t know how many minutes, there was such a thundering of feet and hands, and such a roaring of Old Cheeseman, as never was heard.
Then a whiny little kid in the corner, who was always being punished for something, shouted out, “Cheers for Old Cheeseman! Hooray!” The Reverend glared at him and said, “Mr. Cheeseman, sir.” But Old Cheeseman insisted that he preferred his old name much more than the new one, so all of us jumped on the bandwagon and joined in the chant. For I don’t know how many minutes, the noise of stomping feet and clapping hands, along with everyone roaring “Old Cheeseman,” was louder than ever before.
After that, there was a spread in the dining-room of the most magnificent kind. Fowls, tongues, preserves, fruits, confectionaries, jellies, neguses, barley-sugar temples, trifles, crackers—eat all you can and pocket what you like—all at Old Cheeseman’s expense. After that, speeches, whole holiday, double and treble sets of all manners of things for all manners of games, donkeys, pony-chaises and drive yourself, dinner for all the masters at the Seven Bells (twenty pounds a-head our fellows estimated it at), an annual holiday and feast fixed for that day every year, and another on Old Cheeseman’s birthday—Reverend bound down before the fellows to allow it, so that he could never back out—all at Old Cheeseman’s expense.
After that, there was an incredible spread in the dining room. Birds, meats, jams, fruits, sweets, jellies, drinks, barley-sugar sculptures, desserts, snacks—eat as much as you want and take home what you like—all courtesy of Old Cheeseman. Afterward, there were speeches, a whole holiday, lots of supplies for all kinds of games, donkeys, pony carts for self-drive, a dinner for all the masters at the Seven Bells (our guys figured it would cost twenty pounds a head), an annual holiday and feast set for that day every year, and another on Old Cheeseman’s birthday—Reverend was there to approve it, so he could never back out—all at Old Cheeseman’s expense.
And didn’t our fellows go down in a body and cheer outside the Seven Bells? O no!
And didn’t our guys go down together and cheer outside the Seven Bells? Oh no!
But there’s something else besides. Don’t look at the next story-teller, for there’s more yet. Next day, it was resolved that the Society should make it up with Jane, and then be dissolved. What do you think of Jane being gone, though! “What? Gone for ever?” said our fellows, with long faces. “Yes, to be sure,” was all the answer they could get. None of the people about the house would say anything more. At length, the first boy took upon himself to ask the Reverend whether our old friend Jane was really gone? The Reverend (he has got a daughter at home—turn-up nose, and red) replied severely, “Yes, sir, Miss Pitt is gone.” The idea of calling Jane, Miss Pitt! Some said she had been sent away in disgrace for taking money from Old Cheeseman; others said she had gone into Old Cheeseman’s service at a rise of ten pounds a year. All that our fellows knew, was, she was gone.
But there’s something else going on. Don’t turn to the next storyteller, because there's more to it. The next day, the group decided to reconcile with Jane and then disband. What do you think about Jane being gone, though? “What? Gone for good?” our friends said, looking grim. “Yes, for sure,” was all the response they got. None of the people around the house would say anything more. Finally, the first boy decided to ask the Reverend if our old friend Jane was really gone. The Reverend (he has a daughter at home—a turned-up nose and red hair) replied sternly, “Yes, sir, Miss Pitt is gone.” The idea of calling Jane “Miss Pitt!” Some said she was sent away in disgrace for taking money from Old Cheeseman; others said she went to work for Old Cheeseman with a pay increase of ten pounds a year. All our friends knew was, she was gone.
It was two or three months afterwards, when, one afternoon, an open carriage stopped at the cricket field, just outside bounds, with a lady and gentleman in it, who looked at the game a long time and stood up to see it played. Nobody thought much about them, until the same little snivelling chap came in, against all rules, from the post where he was Scout, and said, “It’s Jane!” Both Elevens forgot the game directly, and ran crowding round the carriage. It was Jane! In such a bonnet! And if you’ll believe me, Jane was married to Old Cheeseman.
It was two or three months later when, one afternoon, an open carriage stopped at the cricket field just outside the boundary, with a man and a woman inside who watched the game for a long time and stood up to see it played. Nobody paid much attention to them until the same little whiny kid came in, breaking all the rules, from his post where he was the Scout, and said, “It’s Jane!” Both teams immediately forgot about the game and rushed over to the carriage. It really was Jane! In that crazy bonnet! And believe it or not, Jane was married to Old Cheeseman.
It soon became quite a regular thing when our fellows were hard at it in the playground, to see a carriage at the low part of the wall where it joins the high part, and a lady and gentleman standing up in it, looking over. The gentleman was always Old Cheeseman, and the lady was always Jane.
It soon became a common sight when our friends were busy in the playground to see a carriage at the lower part of the wall where it meets the higher part, with a man and a woman standing up in it, looking over. The man was always Old Cheeseman, and the woman was always Jane.
The first time I ever saw them, I saw them in that way. There had been a good many changes among our fellows then, and it had turned out that Bob Tarter’s father wasn’t worth Millions! He wasn’t worth anything. Bob had gone for a soldier, and Old Cheeseman had purchased his discharge. But that’s not the carriage. The carriage stopped, and all our fellows stopped as soon as it was seen.
The first time I saw them, I saw them like that. There had been a lot of changes among our group by then, and it turned out that Bob Tarter’s dad wasn’t worth millions! He wasn’t worth anything. Bob had joined the army, and Old Cheeseman had bought his discharge. But that’s not the point. The carriage pulled up, and everyone in our group stopped as soon as they saw it.
“So you have never sent me to Coventry after all!” said the lady, laughing, as our fellows swarmed up the wall to shake hands with her. “Are you never going to do it?”
“So you never did send me to Coventry after all!” the lady said, laughing, as our friends climbed up the wall to shake hands with her. “Are you ever going to do it?”
“Never! never! never!” on all sides.
“Never! never! never!” from every direction.
I didn’t understand what she meant then, but of course I do now. I was very much pleased with her face though, and with her good way, and I couldn’t help looking at her—and at him too—with all our fellows clustering so joyfully about them.
I didn’t get what she meant back then, but I totally do now. I really liked her face and her nice demeanor, and I couldn’t help but look at her—and at him too—while all our friends were happily gathered around them.
They soon took notice of me as a new boy, so I thought I might as well swarm up the wall myself, and shake hands with them as the rest did. I was quite as glad to see them as the rest were, and was quite as familiar with them in a moment.
They quickly noticed me as the new kid, so I figured I might as well climb up the wall too and shake hands with them like everyone else. I was just as happy to see them as the others were, and I felt just as comfortable with them right away.
“Only a fortnight now,” said Old Cheeseman, “to the holidays. Who stops? Anybody?”
“Only two weeks left,” said Old Cheeseman, “until the holidays. Who’s coming? Anyone?”
A good many fingers pointed at me, and a good many voices cried “He does!” For it was the year when you were all away; and rather low I was about it, I can tell you.
A lot of people pointed fingers at me, and a lot of voices yelled, “He does!” Because it was the year when you were all gone; and I was feeling pretty down about it, I can tell you.
“Oh!” said Old Cheeseman. “But it’s solitary here in the holiday time. He had better come to us.”
“Oh!” said Old Cheeseman. “But it’s pretty lonely here during the holidays. He should definitely come to us.”
So I went to their delightful house, and was as happy as I could possibly be. They understand how to conduct themselves towards boys, they do. When they take a boy to the play, for instance, they do take him. They don’t go in after it’s begun, or come out before it’s over. They know how to bring a boy up, too. Look at their own! Though he is very little as yet, what a capital boy he is! Why, my next favourite to Mrs. Cheeseman and Old Cheeseman, is young Cheeseman.
So I went to their lovely house and was as happy as I could be. They really know how to treat boys, they do. When they take a boy to a play, for example, they actually take him. They don’t go in after it’s already started or leave before it’s finished. They also know how to raise a boy. Look at their own! Even though he’s still quite young, he’s such a great kid! Honestly, my next favorite after Mrs. Cheeseman and Old Cheeseman is young Cheeseman.
So, now I have told you all I know about Old Cheeseman. And it’s not much after all, I am afraid. Is it?
So, now I've shared everything I know about Old Cheeseman. And honestly, it's not a lot, I’m sorry to say. Is it?
p.
69p. 69NOBODY’S STORY
He lived on the bank of a mighty river, broad and deep, which was always silently rolling on to a vast undiscovered ocean. It had rolled on, ever since the world began. It had changed its course sometimes, and turned into new channels, leaving its old ways dry and barren; but it had ever been upon the flow, and ever was to flow until Time should be no more. Against its strong, unfathomable stream, nothing made head. No living creature, no flower, no leaf, no particle of animate or inanimate existence, ever strayed back from the undiscovered ocean. The tide of the river set resistlessly towards it; and the tide never stopped, any more than the earth stops in its circling round the sun.
He lived by the edge of a powerful river, wide and deep, that constantly flowed toward a vast, unexplored ocean. It had been flowing this way since the world began. Sometimes it changed its path and formed new channels, leaving its former routes dry and barren; but it always continued to flow, and it would keep flowing until time came to an end. Against its strong, unfathomable current, nothing could resist. No living creature, no flower, no leaf, no bit of animate or inanimate existence ever turned back from the undiscovered ocean. The river's tide moved relentlessly toward it; and the tide never stopped, just like the earth never stops in its orbit around the sun.
He lived in a busy place, and he worked very hard to live. He had no hope of ever being rich enough to live a month without hard work, but he was quite content, GOD knows, to labour with a cheerful will. He was one of an immense family, all of whose sons and daughters gained their daily bread by daily work, prolonged from their rising up betimes until their lying down at night. Beyond this destiny he had no prospect, and he sought none.
He lived in a bustling area, and he worked really hard to get by. He had no hope of ever being wealthy enough to take a month off from working, but he was quite happy, God knows, to work with a cheerful attitude. He was part of a large family, all of whom earned their daily bread through daily labor, which lasted from when they got up early in the morning until they went to bed at night. Beyond this fate, he had no expectations, and he didn’t look for any.
There was over-much drumming, trumpeting, and speech-making, in the neighbourhood where he dwelt; but he had nothing to do with that. Such clash and uproar came from the Bigwig family, at the unaccountable proceedings of which race, he marvelled much. They set up the strangest statues, in iron, marble, bronze, and brass, before his door; and darkened his house with the legs and tails of uncouth images of horses. He wondered what it all meant, smiled in a rough good-humoured way he had, and kept at his hard work.
There was way too much drumming, trumpeting, and speech-making in the neighborhood where he lived; but he didn’t get involved in any of that. The noise and chaos came from the Bigwig family, and he couldn't figure out what their deal was. They put up the weirdest statues in iron, marble, bronze, and brass right in front of his door, and filled his house with the limbs and tails of bizarre horse-like figures. He wondered what it all meant, smiled in his usual gruff, good-natured way, and continued with his hard work.
The Bigwig family (composed of all the stateliest people thereabouts, and all the noisiest) had undertaken to save him the trouble of thinking for himself, and to manage him and his affairs. “Why truly,” said he, “I have little time upon my hands; and if you will be so good as to take care of me, in return for the money I pay over”—for the Bigwig family were not above his money—“I shall be relieved and much obliged, considering that you know best.” Hence the drumming, trumpeting, and speech-making, and the ugly images of horses which he was expected to fall down and worship.
The Bigwig family (made up of the most prominent people around and the loudest voices) had taken it upon themselves to handle his decisions and run his life for him. “Well, I really don’t have much time to spare,” he said, “and if you could be kind enough to take care of me, in exchange for the money I give you”—since the Bigwig family definitely appreciated his money—“I’d be grateful and relieved, considering that you know what’s best.” This led to all the noise, fanfare, and speeches, along with the ridiculous statues of horses that he was supposed to bow down to.
“I don’t understand all this,” said he, rubbing his furrowed brow confusedly. “But it has a meaning, maybe, if I could find it out.”
“I don’t get all this,” he said, rubbing his furrowed brow in confusion. “But it has to mean something, maybe, if I could figure it out.”
“It means,” returned the Bigwig family, suspecting something of what he said, “honour and glory in the highest, to the highest merit.”
“It means,” replied the Bigwig family, sensing some truth in what he said, “the utmost honor and glory, given to those with the highest merit.”
“Oh!” said he. And he was glad to hear that.
“Oh!” he said. And he was happy to hear that.
But, when he looked among the images in iron, marble, bronze, and brass, he failed to find a rather meritorious countryman of his, once the son of a Warwickshire wool-dealer, or any single countryman whomsoever of that kind. He could find none of the men whose knowledge had rescued him and his children from terrific and disfiguring disease, whose boldness had raised his forefathers from the condition of serfs, whose wise fancy had opened a new and high existence to the humblest, whose skill had filled the working man’s world with accumulated wonders. Whereas, he did find others whom he knew no good of, and even others whom he knew much ill of.
But when he looked among the statues in iron, marble, bronze, and brass, he couldn't find a commendable fellow countryman of his, once the son of a wool dealer from Warwickshire, or any other countryman like him. He found none of the men whose knowledge had saved him and his children from terrible and disfiguring diseases, whose bravery had lifted his ancestors from being serfs, whose creative thinking had opened up a new and elevated life for the most humble, whose skills had enriched the working man's world with amazing achievements. Instead, he found others he didn’t think highly of, and even some he knew were quite bad.
“Humph!” said he. “I don’t quite understand it.”
“Humph!” he said. “I don’t really get it.”
So, he went home, and sat down by his fireside to get it out of his mind.
So, he went home and sat down by his fireplace to clear his mind.
Now, his fireside was a bare one, all hemmed in by blackened streets; but it was a precious place to him. The hands of his wife were hardened with toil, and she was old before her time; but she was dear to him. His children, stunted in their growth, bore traces of unwholesome nurture; but they had beauty in his sight. Above all other things, it was an earnest desire of this man’s soul that his children should be taught. “If I am sometimes misled,” said he, “for want of knowledge, at least let them know better, and avoid my mistakes. If it is hard to me to reap the harvest of pleasure and instruction that is stored in books, let it be easier to them.”
Now, his living room was bare, surrounded by blackened streets; but it was a special place to him. His wife’s hands were worn from hard work, and she was aged beyond her years; but she was precious to him. His children, small for their age, showed signs of poor upbringing; but to him, they were beautiful. Above all else, this man deeply wanted his children to be educated. “If I sometimes stumble because I lack knowledge,” he said, “at least let them know better and avoid my mistakes. If it’s hard for me to enjoy the wealth of knowledge found in books, let it be easier for them.”
But, the Bigwig family broke out into violent family quarrels concerning what it was lawful to teach to this man’s children. Some of the family insisted on such a thing being primary and indispensable above all other things; and others of the family insisted on such another thing being primary and indispensable above all other things; and the Bigwig family, rent into factions, wrote pamphlets, held convocations, delivered charges, orations, and all varieties of discourses; impounded one another in courts Lay and courts Ecclesiastical; threw dirt, exchanged pummelings, and fell together by the ears in unintelligible animosity. Meanwhile, this man, in his short evening snatches at his fireside, saw the demon Ignorance arise there, and take his children to itself. He saw his daughter perverted into a heavy, slatternly drudge; he saw his son go moping down the ways of low sensuality, to brutality and crime; he saw the dawning light of intelligence in the eyes of his babies so changing into cunning and suspicion, that he could have rather wished them idiots.
But the Bigwig family erupted into fierce arguments over what it was appropriate to teach this man’s children. Some family members insisted that one approach was essential and non-negotiable above all else, while others argued that a different approach was equally essential and non-negotiable. The Bigwig family split into factions, writing pamphlets, holding meetings, delivering accusations, speeches, and various types of discussions; they took each other to both civil and church courts; they insulted one another, exchanged blows, and got caught up in senseless animosity. Meanwhile, this man, during his brief evenings by the fire, saw the demon of Ignorance rise up and take hold of his children. He watched his daughter turn into a slovenly, heavy laborer; he saw his son sulking down the path of vice, leading to brutality and crime; he noticed the flickering promise of intelligence in his babies' eyes change into cunning and suspicion, making him wish instead that they were simpletons.
“I don’t understand this any the better,” said he; “but I think it cannot be right. Nay, by the clouded Heaven above me, I protest against this as my wrong!”
“I don’t understand this any better,” he said; “but I don’t think it’s right. No, by the overcast sky above me, I protest against this as my injustice!”
Becoming peaceable again (for his passion was usually short-lived, and his nature kind), he looked about him on his Sundays and holidays, and he saw how much monotony and weariness there was, and thence how drunkenness arose with all its train of ruin. Then he appealed to the Bigwig family, and said, “We are a labouring people, and I have a glimmering suspicion in me that labouring people of whatever condition were made—by a higher intelligence than yours, as I poorly understand it—to be in need of mental refreshment and recreation. See what we fall into, when we rest without it. Come! Amuse me harmlessly, show me something, give me an escape!”
Becoming calm again (because his enthusiasm was usually short-lived and he was a kind person), he looked around on his Sundays and holidays and noticed the monotony and weariness that surrounded him, and how that led to drunkenness and all its associated problems. Then he turned to the Bigwig family and said, “We are working-class people, and I have a feeling that working people, no matter their status, were created—by a greater intelligence than yours, as I understand it—to need mental refreshment and recreation. Look at what we fall into when we don’t have it. Come on! Entertain me in a harmless way, show me something, give me an escape!”
But, here the Bigwig family fell into a state of uproar absolutely deafening. When some few voices were faintly heard, proposing to show him the wonders of the world, the greatness of creation, the mighty changes of time, the workings of nature and the beauties of art—to show him these things, that is to say, at any period of his life when he could look upon them—there arose among the Bigwigs such roaring and raving, such pulpiting and petitioning, such maundering and memorialising, such name-calling and dirt-throwing, such a shrill wind of parliamentary questioning and feeble replying—where “I dare not” waited on “I would”—that the poor fellow stood aghast, staring wildly around.
But at that moment, the Bigwig family erupted into chaos that was absolutely deafening. When a few voices were faintly heard suggesting they should show him the wonders of the world, the greatness of creation, the powerful changes of time, the workings of nature, and the beauties of art—meaning they wanted to show him these things at any point in his life when he could appreciate them—there was such a roar and uproar among the Bigwigs, such preaching and begging, such rambling and memorializing, such name-calling and mudslinging, such a shrill wind of parliamentary questioning and weak responses—where “I dare not” followed “I would”—that the poor guy stood there stunned, staring around in shock.
“Have I provoked all this,” said he, with his hands to his affrighted ears, “by what was meant to be an innocent request, plainly arising out of my familiar experience, and the common knowledge of all men who choose to open their eyes? I don’t understand, and I am not understood. What is to come of such a state of things!”
“Did I cause all this,” he said, covering his frightened ears, “by what was supposed to be a simple request, clearly based on my own experience and the general knowledge of anyone who chooses to see? I don’t get it, and I’m not being understood. What’s going to happen in this situation?”
He was bending over his work, often asking himself the question, when the news began to spread that a pestilence had appeared among the labourers, and was slaying them by thousands. Going forth to look about him, he soon found this to be true. The dying and the dead were mingled in the close and tainted houses among which his life was passed. New poison was distilled into the always murky, always sickening air. The robust and the weak, old age and infancy, the father and the mother, all were stricken down alike.
He was focused on his work, often asking himself the question, when the news started to spread that a deadly disease had surfaced among the workers, killing them by the thousands. Stepping outside to see for himself, he quickly realized it was true. The dying and the dead were mixed together in the cramped and contaminated houses where he lived. New toxins were seeping into the always hazy, always nauseating air. The strong and the weak, the elderly and the infants, fathers and mothers, all were affected equally.
What means of flight had he? He remained there, where he was, and saw those who were dearest to him die. A kind preacher came to him, and would have said some prayers to soften his heart in his gloom, but he replied:
What means of escape did he have? He stayed right where he was and watched those he loved most die. A kind preacher came to him and tried to say some prayers to ease his heart in his sorrow, but he replied:
“O what avails it, missionary, to come to me, a man condemned to residence in this foetid place, where every sense bestowed upon me for my delight becomes a torment, and where every minute of my numbered days is new mire added to the heap under which I lie oppressed! But, give me my first glimpse of Heaven, through a little of its light and air; give me pure water; help me to be clean; lighten this heavy atmosphere and heavy life, in which our spirits sink, and we become the indifferent and callous creatures you too often see us; gently and kindly take the bodies of those who die among us, out of the small room where we grow to be so familiar with the awful change that even its sanctity is lost to us; and, Teacher, then I will hear—none know better than you, how willingly—of Him whose thoughts were so much with the poor, and who had compassion for all human sorrow!”
“Oh, what good does it do, missionary, to come to me, a man trapped in this filthy place, where every sense I have for my enjoyment becomes a source of pain, and where every minute of my limited days adds more misery to the pile under which I lie oppressed! But, give me my first glimpse of Heaven, through a little of its light and air; give me clean water; help me to be pure; lighten this heavy atmosphere and burdened life, in which our spirits sink, and we become the indifferent and unfeeling beings you too often see us as; gently and kindly take the bodies of those who die among us, out of the small room where we become so familiar with the horrifying change that even its sacredness is lost on us; and, Teacher, then I will listen—none know better than you, how willingly—of Him whose thoughts were so much with the poor, and who had compassion for all human suffering!”
He was at work again, solitary and sad, when his Master came and stood near to him dressed in black. He, also, had suffered heavily. His young wife, his beautiful and good young wife, was dead; so, too, his only child.
He was back at work, alone and sad, when his Master came and stood beside him dressed in black. He had also endured a lot. His young wife, his beautiful and kind young wife, had died; so had his only child.
“Master, ’tis hard to bear—I know it—but be comforted. I would give you comfort, if I could.”
“Master, it’s hard to take—I know it—but please find some comfort. I would help you feel better if I could.”
The Master thanked him from his heart, but, said he, “O you labouring men! The calamity began among you. If you had but lived more healthily and decently, I should not be the widowed and bereft mourner that I am this day.”
The Master thanked him sincerely, but he said, “Oh you working men! The disaster started with you. If you had just lived healthier and more decently, I wouldn’t be the widowed and grief-stricken person I am today.”
“Master,” returned the other, shaking his head, “I have begun to understand a little that most calamities will come from us, as this one did, and that none will stop at our poor doors, until we are united with that great squabbling family yonder, to do the things that are right. We cannot live healthily and decently, unless they who undertook to manage us provide the means. We cannot be instructed unless they will teach us; we cannot be rationally amused, unless they will amuse us; we cannot but have some false gods of our own, while they set up so many of theirs in all the public places. The evil consequences of imperfect instruction, the evil consequences of pernicious neglect, the evil consequences of unnatural restraint and the denial of humanising enjoyments, will all come from us, and none of them will stop with us. They will spread far and wide. They always do; they always have done—just like the pestilence. I understand so much, I think, at last.”
“Master,” replied the other, shaking his head, “I’ve started to realize that most of our problems will come from us, just like this one did, and none will stop at our doorstep until we join that big, bickering family over there to do what’s right. We can’t live healthily and decently unless those in charge of us provide the resources. We can’t be educated unless they’re willing to teach us; we can’t be entertained unless they choose to amuse us; we’ll always have some false idols of our own while they set up so many of theirs in public spaces. The negative effects of inadequate education, the impact of neglect, the consequences of unnatural restrictions, and the denial of fulfilling experiences will all originate from us, and none will end with us. They’ll spread far and wide. They always do; they always have—just like a plague. I think I finally understand this much.”
But the Master said again, “O you labouring men! How seldom do we ever hear of you, except in connection with some trouble!”
But the Master said again, “Oh you hardworking people! How rarely do we hear about you, except when there's some sort of problem!”
“Master,” he replied, “I am Nobody, and little likely to be heard of (nor yet much wanted to be heard of, perhaps), except when there is some trouble. But it never begins with me, and it never can end with me. As sure as Death, it comes down to me, and it goes up from me.”
“Master,” he said, “I’m Nobody, and I probably won’t be remembered (nor do I really want to be remembered, to be honest), unless there’s some kind of trouble. But it never starts with me, and it can never end with me. Just like Death, it comes to me, and it goes away from me.”
There was so much reason in what he said, that the Bigwig family, getting wind of it, and being horribly frightened by the late desolation, resolved to unite with him to do the things that were right—at all events, so far as the said things were associated with the direct prevention, humanly speaking, of another pestilence. But, as their fear wore off, which it soon began to do, they resumed their falling out among themselves, and did nothing. Consequently the scourge appeared again—low down as before—and spread avengingly upward as before, and carried off vast numbers of the brawlers. But not a man among them ever admitted, if in the least degree he ever perceived, that he had anything to do with it.
There was so much logic in what he said that the Bigwig family, hearing about it and being really scared by the recent devastation, decided to team up with him to do what was right—as far as those actions were directly related to preventing another outbreak. However, as their fear faded, which happened pretty quickly, they started arguing among themselves again and ended up doing nothing. As a result, the plague returned—just like before—and spread rapidly upward as it had previously, taking away many of the fighters. But not one of them ever admitted, or even realized, that they had any part in it.
So Nobody lived and died in the old, old, old way; and this, in the main, is the whole of Nobody’s story.
So Nobody lived and died in the very traditional way; and this, for the most part, is the entirety of Nobody’s story.
Had he no name, you ask? Perhaps it was Legion. It matters little what his name was. Let us call him Legion.
Had he no name, you ask? Maybe it was Legion. It doesn't really matter what his name was. Let's call him Legion.
If you were ever in the Belgian villages near the field of Waterloo, you will have seen, in some quiet little church, a monument erected by faithful companions in arms to the memory of Colonel A, Major B, Captains C, D and E, Lieutenants F and G, Ensigns H, I and J, seven non-commissioned officers, and one hundred and thirty rank and file, who fell in the discharge of their duty on the memorable day. The story of Nobody is the story of the rank and file of the earth. They bear their share of the battle; they have their part in the victory; they fall; they leave no name but in the mass. The march of the proudest of us, leads to the dusty way by which they go. O! Let us think of them this year at the Christmas fire, and not forget them when it is burnt out.
If you've ever visited the Belgian villages near the field of Waterloo, you might have seen, in a quiet little church, a memorial put up by loyal fellow soldiers in memory of Colonel A, Major B, Captains C, D, and E, Lieutenants F and G, Ensigns H, I, and J, seven non-commissioned officers, and one hundred and thirty enlisted men, who lost their lives while fulfilling their duty on that significant day. The story of Nobody represents the story of the common people. They share in the battle; they contribute to the victory; they fall; they don't leave behind any individual recognition, only their story in the larger group. The path of even the proudest among us leads to the dusty road where they journey. Oh! Let’s remember them this year by the Christmas fire, and let’s not forget them once it’s extinguished.
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