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FAMOUS MODERN GHOST STORIES
SELECTED, WITH AN INTRODUCTION
BY
DOROTHY SCARBOROUGH, Ph.D.DOROTHY SCARBOROUGH, Ph.D.
LECTURER IN ENGLISH, COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY
AUTHOR OF THE SUPERNATURAL IN MODERN ENGLISH FICTION,
FUGITIVE VERSES, FROM A SOUTHERN PORCH, ETC.
COMPILER OF HUMOROUS GHOST STORIES
G.P. PUTNAM'S SONS
NEW YORK AND LONDON
The Knickerbocker Press
G.P. PUTNAM'S SONS
NEW YORK AND LONDON
The Knickerbocker Press
1921
1921
Printed in the United States of America
Printed in the United States of America
To
ASHLEY HORACE THORNDIKE, Litt. D.
Professor of English, Columbia University
who guided my earlier studies in the supernatural
To
ASHLEY HORACE THORNDIKE, Litt. D.
Professor of English, Columbia University
who guided my earlier studies in the supernatural
CONTENTS
- Introduction: The Imperishable Ghost
-
The Willows
- By Algernon Blackwood
-
The Shadows on the Wall
- By Mary E. Wilkins Freeman
-
The Messenger
- By Robert W. Chambers
-
Lazarus
- By Leonid Andreyev
-
The Beast with Five Fingers
- By W. F. Harvey
-
The Mass of Shadows
- By Anatole France
-
What Was It?
- By Fitz-James O'Brien
-
The Middle Toe of the Right Foot
- By Ambrose Bierce
-
The Shell of Sense
- By Olivia Howard Dunbar
-
The Woman at Seven Brothers
- By Wilbur Daniel Steele
-
At the Gate
- By Myla Jo Closser
-
Ligeia
- By Edgar Allan Poe
-
The Haunted Orchard
- By Richard Le Gallienne
-
The Bowmen
- By Arthur Machen
-
A Ghost
- By Guy de Maupassant
The Imperishable Ghost
INTRODUCTION
Ghosts are the true immortals, and the dead grow more alive all the time. Wraiths have a greater vitality to-day than ever before. They are far more numerous than at any time in the past, and people are more interested in them. There are persons that claim to be acquainted with specific spirits, to speak with them, to carry on correspondence with them, and even some who insist that they are private secretaries to the dead. Others of us mortals, more reserved, are content to keep such distance as we may from even the shadow of a shade. But there's no getting away from ghosts nowadays, for even if you shut your eyes to them in actual life, you stumble over them in the books you read, you see them on the stage and on the screen, and you hear them on the lecture platform. Even a Lodge in any vast wilderness would have the company of spirits. Man's love for the supernatural, which is one of the most natural things about him, was never more marked than at present. You may go a-ghosting in any company to-day, and all aspects of literature, novels, short stories, poetry, and drama alike, reflect the shadeless spirit. The latest census of the haunting world shows a vast increase in population, which might be explained on various grounds.
Ghosts are the true immortals, and the dead seem more alive all the time. Wraiths have a greater energy today than ever before. They are much more numerous than in the past, and people are more intrigued by them. Some claim to have connections with specific spirits, to talk with them, to exchange letters with them, and a few even insist that they act as personal secretaries to the dead. Others of us mortals, being more reserved, prefer to keep some distance from even the faintest trace of a ghost. But escaping ghosts these days is impossible, as even if you try to ignore them in real life, you trip over them in the books you read, see them on stage and on screen, and hear them at lectures. Even a cabin in the middle of nowhere would have the presence of spirits. Humanity's fascination with the supernatural, which is one of the most natural things about us, has never been clearer than now. You can explore ghostly themes in any social setting today, and all forms of literature—novels, short stories, poetry, and drama—reflect the unending presence of spirits. The latest census of the haunting world shows a significant increase in numbers, which could be explained in various ways.
Life is so inconveniently complex nowadays, what with income taxes and other visitations of government, that it is hard for us to have the added risk of wraiths, but there's no escaping. Many persons of to-day are in the same mental state as one Mr. Boggs, told of in a magazine story, a rural gentleman who was agitated over spectral visitants. He had once talked at a séance with a speaker who claimed to be the spirit of his brother, Wesley Boggs, but who conversed only on blue suspenders, a subject not of vital interest to Wesley in the flesh. "Still," Mr. Boggs reflected, "I'm not so darn sure!" In answer to a suggestion regarding subliminal consciousness and dual personality as explanation of the strange things that come bolting into life, he said, "It's crawly any way you look at it. Ghosts inside you are as bad as ghosts outside you." There are others to-day who are "not so darn sure!"
Life is incredibly complicated these days, what with income taxes and other government regulations, making it tough for us to deal with the added risk of ghosts, but there's no way to avoid it. Many people today share the same mindset as a man named Mr. Boggs from a magazine story, a country gentleman who was disturbed by ghostly visitors. He once spoke at a séance with a person claiming to be the spirit of his brother, Wesley Boggs, but the conversation only revolved around blue suspenders, a topic that wasn’t really important to Wesley when he was alive. "Still," Mr. Boggs thought, "I'm not so sure!" When presented with the idea of subliminal consciousness and dual personality as a way to explain the strange occurrences that suddenly come to life, he said, "It's creepy no matter how you look at it. Ghosts inside you are just as bad as ghosts outside you." There are plenty of others today who feel "not so sure!"
One may conjecture divers reasons for this multitude of ghosts in late literature. Perhaps spooks are like small boys that rush to fires, unwilling to miss anything, and craving new sensations. And we mortals read about them to get vicarious thrills through the safe medium of fiction. The war made sensationalists of us all, and the drab everydayness of mortal life bores us. Man's imagination, always bigger than his environment, overleaps the barriers of time and space and claims all worlds as eminent domain, so that literature, which he has the power to create, as he cannot create his material surroundings, possesses a dramatic intensity, an epic sweep, unknown in actuality. In the last analysis, man is as great as his daydreams—or his nightmares!
One might speculate about various reasons for the abundance of ghosts in recent literature. Maybe ghosts are like little boys who rush towards fires, eager not to miss anything and longing for new experiences. And we humans read about them to get thrilling experiences through the safe medium of fiction. The war turned us all into sensationalists, and the dullness of everyday life bores us. A person's imagination, always bigger than their surroundings, jumps over the limits of time and space and claims all worlds as its territory, so that literature, which we can create—as we can't fully shape our material surroundings—has a dramatic intensity and an epic scope unknown in real life. Ultimately, a person is as great as their daydreams—or their nightmares!
Ghosts have always haunted literature, and doubtless always will. Specters seem never to wear out or to die, but renew their tissue both of person and of raiment, in marvelous fashion, so that their number increases with a Malthusian relentlessness. We of to-day have the ghosts that haunted our ancestors, as well as our own modern revenants, and there's no earthly use trying to banish or exorcise them by such a simple thing as disbelief in them. Schopenhauer asserts that a belief in ghosts is born with man, that it is found in all ages and in all lands, and that no one is free from it. Since accounts vary, and our earliest antecedents were poor diarists, it is difficult to establish the apostolic succession of spooks in actual life, but in literature, the line reaches back as far as the primeval picture writing. A study of animism in primitive culture shows many interesting links between the past and the present in this matter. And anyhow, since man knows that whether or not he has seen a ghost, presently he'll be one, he's fascinated with the subject. And he creates ghosts, not merely in his own image, but according to his dreams of power.
Ghosts have always been a part of literature and will probably always be. Spirits never seem to fade away or die, but instead, they transform in amazing ways, causing their numbers to grow without limit. We today have the ghosts that haunted our ancestors, along with our own modern apparitions, and there's no point in trying to get rid of them by simply not believing in them. Schopenhauer argues that a belief in ghosts is inherent to humans, found in every era and every culture, and that no one is truly free from it. Since stories differ, and our earliest ancestors were not great record-keepers, it’s hard to trace the history of ghosts in real life, but in literature, their lineage goes all the way back to ancient pictographs. Studying animism in primitive cultures reveals many fascinating connections between past and present regarding this topic. And ultimately, since humans understand that whether or not they've seen a ghost, they too will become one someday, they are captivated by this subject. They create ghosts not just in their own likeness, but also based on their dreams of power.
The more man knows of natural laws, the keener he is about the supernatural. He may claim to have laid aside superstition, but he isn't to be believed in that. Though he has discarded witchcraft and alchemy, it is only that he may have more time for psychical research; true, he no longer dabbles with ancient magic, but that is because the modern types, as the ouija board, entertain him more. He dearly loves to traffic with that other world of which he knows so little and concerning which he is so curious.
The more people understand natural laws, the more interested they become in the supernatural. They might say they’ve given up superstition, but that’s not true. Even though they’ve rejected witchcraft and alchemy, it only frees up more time for exploring psychic phenomena; it's true they don’t mess with ancient magic anymore, but that’s just because modern things like the Ouija board are more entertaining to them. They really love to engage with that other world they know so little about and are so curious about.
Perhaps the war, or possibly an increase in class consciousness, or unionization of spirits, or whatever, has greatly energized the ghost in our day and given him both ambition and strength to do more things than ever. Maybe "pep tablets" have been discovered on the other side as well! No longer is the ghost content to be seen and not heard, to slink around in shadowy corners as apologetically as poor relations. Wraiths now have a rambunctious vitality and self-assurance that are astonishing. Even the ghosts of folks dead so long they have forgotten about themselves are yawning, stretching their skeletons, and starting out to do a little haunting. Spooky creatures in such a wide diversity are abroad to-day that one is sometimes at a loss to know what to do "gin a body meet a body." Ghosts are entering all sorts of activities now, so that mortals had better look alive, else they'll be crowded out of their place in the shade. The dead are too much with us!
Maybe the war, or maybe a rise in class awareness, or the awakening of spirits, or whatever, has really energized the ghost in our time and given him both the drive and strength to do more than ever before. Perhaps "pep tablets" have been found on the other side too! No longer is the ghost satisfied to be seen but not heard, sneaking around in dark corners like shy relatives. Spirits now have a lively energy and confidence that are surprising. Even the ghosts of people who have been dead so long they’ve forgotten themselves are yawning, stretching their bones, and getting ready to do a little haunting. Strange beings in such a wide variety are out and about today that one sometimes wonders what to do "if a body meets a body." Ghosts are getting involved in all sorts of activities now, so the living better stay alert, or they’ll be pushed out of their spot in the shadows. The dead are much too present with us!
Modern ghosts are less simple and primitive than their ancestors, and are developing complexes of various kinds. They are more democratic than of old, and have more of a diversity of interests, so that mortals have scarcely the ghost of a chance with them. They employ all the agencies and mechanisms known to mortals, and have in addition their own methods of transit and communication. Whereas in the past a ghost had to stalk or glide to his haunts, now he limousines or airplanes, so that naturally he can get in more work than before. He uses the wireless to send his messages, and is expert in all manner of scientific lines.
Modern ghosts are more complex than their predecessors and are developing various intricate personalities. They're more democratic than before and have a wider range of interests, making it nearly impossible for living people to compete with them. They use all the tools and technology that humans do, plus their own special ways of traveling and communicating. While ghosts once had to creep or float to their destinations, now they can take limousines or airplanes, allowing them to accomplish much more than in the past. They use wireless technology to send messages and are skilled in various scientific fields.
In fact, his infernal efficiency and knowledge of science constitute the worst terror of the current specter. Who can combat a ghost that knows all about a chemical laboratory, that can add electricity to his other shocks, and can employ all mortal and immortal agencies as his own? Science itself is supernatural, as we see when we look at it properly.
In fact, his impressive efficiency and understanding of science represent the greatest fear of the current ghost. Who can fight against a spirit that understands everything about a chemical lab, that can incorporate electricity into his other surprises, and can use all human and supernatural forces as his own? Science itself is supernatural, as we realize when we examine it closely.
Modern literature, especially the most recent, shows a revival of old types of ghosts, together with the innovations of the new. There are specters that take a real part in the plot complication, and those that merely cast threatening looks at the living, or at least, are content to speak a piece and depart. Some spirits are dumb, while others are highly elocutionary.
Modern literature, especially the latest, is seeing a comeback of traditional ghost types alongside new innovations. There are spirits that actively participate in the story's conflict and those that just loom menacingly over the living, or at least, they’re satisfied to say their piece and then leave. Some ghosts are silent, while others are very articulate.
Ghosts vary in many respects. Some are like the pallid shades of the past, altogether unlike the living and with an unmistakable spectral form—or lack of it. They sweep like mist through the air, or flutter like dead leaves in the gale—a gale always accompanying them as part of the stock furnishings. On the other hand, some revenants are so successfully made up that one doesn't believe them when they pridefully announce that they are wraiths. Some of them are, in fact, so alive that they don't themselves know they're dead. It's going to be a great shock to some of them one of these days to wake up and find out they're demised!
Ghosts come in many different forms. Some are like pale shadows from the past, completely different from the living and with a clear ghostly appearance—or sometimes without one at all. They drift like mist in the air or flutter like dead leaves in the wind—always accompanied by a breeze that feels like part of their essence. On the other hand, some spirits are so convincingly disguised that you can't believe them when they proudly claim to be ghosts. Some of them are so full of life that they don't even realize they're dead. It's going to be a huge shock for some of them one day when they wake up and realize they’ve passed on!
Ghosts are more gregarious than in the past. Formerly a shade slunk off by himself, as if ashamed of his profession, as if aware of the lack of cordiality with which he would be received, knowing that mortals shunned and feared him, and chary even of associating with his fellow-shades. He wraithed all by himself. The specters of the past—save in scenes of the lower world,—were usually solitary creatures, driven to haunt mortals from very lonesomeness. Now we have a chance to study the mob psychology of ghosts, for they come in madding crowds whenever they like.
Ghosts are more social now than they used to be. In the past, a spirit would quietly hide away, almost embarrassed by what he was, aware of how unfriendly people would be towards him, knowing that humans avoided and feared him, and were even hesitant to be around other ghosts. He wandered alone. The spirits of the past—except in the underworld—were typically lonely beings, haunting the living out of sheer isolation. Now, we can observe the crowd mentality of ghosts, as they gather in large groups whenever they want.
Ghosts at present are showing an active interest not only in public affairs, but in the arts as well. At least, we now have pictures and writing attributed to them. Perhaps annoyed by some of the inaccuracies published concerning them—for authors have in the past taken advantage of the belief that ghosts couldn't write back—they have recently developed itching pens. They use all manner of utensils for expression now. There's the magic typewriter that spooks for John Kendrick Bangs, the boardwalk that Patience Worth executes for Mrs. Curran, and innumerable other specters that commandeer fountain pens and pencils and brushes to give their versions of infinity. There's a passion on the part of ghosts for being interviewed just now. At present book-reviewers, for instance, had better be careful, lest the wraiths take their own method of answering criticism. It isn't safe to speak or write with anything but respect of ghosts now. De mortuis nil nisi bonum, indeed! One should never make light of a shade.
Ghosts today are showing a strong interest not just in public affairs, but also in the arts. We now have artwork and writing attributed to them. Perhaps irritated by some of the inaccuracies published about them—since authors in the past have exploited the idea that ghosts couldn’t respond—they’ve recently taken up writing. They use all kinds of tools for expression now. There’s the magic typewriter that spooks use for John Kendrick Bangs, the boardwalk that Patience Worth creates for Mrs. Curran, and countless other spirits who grab fountain pens, pencils, and brushes to share their versions of infinity. Ghosts are really eager to be interviewed right now. Book reviewers, for instance, better watch out, or the spirits might find their own way to respond to criticism. It’s not safe to speak or write about ghosts without respect nowadays. De mortuis nil nisi bonum, indeed! One should never make fun of a ghost.
Modern ghosts have a more pronounced personality than the specters of the past. They have more strength, of mind as well as of body, than the colorless revenants of earlier literature, and they produce a more vivid effect on the beholder and the reader. They know more surely what they wish to do, and they advance relentlessly and with economy of effort to the effecting of their purpose, whether it be of pure horror, of beauty, or pathos of humor. We have now many spirits in fiction that are pathetic without frightfulness, many that move us with a sense of poetic beauty rather than of curdling horror, who touch the heart as well as the spine of the reader. And the humorous ghost is a distinctive shade of to-day, with his quips and pranks and haunting grin. Whatever a modern ghost wishes to do or to be, he is or does, with confidence and success.
Modern ghosts have a more defined personality than the ghosts of the past. They possess greater strength, both mentally and physically, compared to the bland spirits in earlier literature, and they create a more striking impact on viewers and readers. They clearly know what they want to achieve and pursue their goals relentlessly and efficiently, whether it’s pure horror, beauty, or humor. Today, we have many fictional spirits that are moving without being frightening, many that inspire us with a sense of poetic beauty instead of chilling horror, reaching both the heart and the spine of the reader. The humorous ghost is a unique presence today, with his jokes, antics, and mischievous smile. Whatever a modern ghost wants to do or be, he does so confidently and successfully.
The spirit of to-day is terrifyingly visible or invisible at will. The dreadful presence of a ghost that one cannot see is more unbearable than the specter that one can locate and attempt to escape from. The invisible haunting is represented in this volume by Fitz-James O'Brien's What Was It? one of the very best of the type, and one that has strongly influenced others. O'Brien's story preceded Guy de Maupassant's Le Horla by several years, and must surely have suggested to Maupassant as to Bierce, in his The Damned Thing, the power of evil that can be felt but not seen.
The spirit of today is terrifyingly visible or invisible at will. The dreadful presence of a ghost that you can't see is more unbearable than a specter you can spot and try to run from. The invisible haunting is showcased in this book by Fitz-James O'Brien's What Was It?, one of the best of its kind, and one that has greatly influenced others. O'Brien's story came out several years before Guy de Maupassant's Le Horla and must have surely inspired Maupassant, as well as Bierce in his The Damned Thing, regarding the power of evil that can be felt but not seen.
The wraith of the present carries with him more vital energy than his predecessors, is more athletic in his struggles with the unlucky wights he visits, and can coerce mortals to do his will by the laying on of hands as well as by the look or word. He speaks with more emphasis and authority, as well as with more human naturalness, than the earlier ghosts. He has not only all the force he possessed in life, but in many instances has an access of power, which makes man a poor protagonist for him. Algernon Blackwood's spirits of evil, for example, have a more awful potentiality than any living person could have, and their will to harm has been increased immeasurably by the accident of death. If the facts bear out the fear that such is the case in life as in fiction, some of our social customs will be reversed. A man will strive by all means to keep his deadly enemy alive, lest death may endow him with tenfold power to hurt. Dark discarnate passions, disembodied hates, work evil where a simple ghost might be helpless and abashed. Algernon Blackwood has command over the spirits of air and fire and wave, so that his pages thrill with beauty and terror. He has handled almost all known aspects of the supernatural, and from his many stories he has selected for this volume The Willows as the best example of his ghostly art.
The ghost of the present carries more energy than those before him, is more vigorous in his interactions with the unfortunate souls he visits, and can compel humans to follow his commands through touch as well as by his gaze or words. He communicates with greater emphasis and authority, along with a more relatable human quality, than earlier ghosts. He not only retains all the strength he had in life, but often has an increase in power, making it difficult for humans to stand against him. For example, Algernon Blackwood's evil spirits possess a more terrifying potential than any living person, and their desire to cause harm has greatly intensified due to their death. If the evidence supports the fear that this applies in both life and fiction, some of our social norms will need to change. A person will go to great lengths to keep their deadly enemy alive, for fear that death could give them tenfold the power to inflict pain. Dark, unembodied emotions and resentments can cause harm where an ordinary ghost might feel powerless. Algernon Blackwood has mastery over the spirits of air, fire, and water, which makes his work both beautiful and terrifying. He has explored nearly every known aspect of the supernatural, and from his numerous stories, he has chosen this volume’s best example of his ghostly artistry, The Willows.
Apparitions are more readily recognizable at present than in the past, for they carry into eternity all the disfigurements or physical peculiarities that the living bodies possessed—a fact discouraging to all persons not conspicuous for good looks. Freckles and warts, long noses and missing limbs distinguish the ghosts and aid in crucial identification. The thrill of horror in Ambrose Bierce's story, The Middle Toe of the Right Foot, is intensified by the fact that the dead woman who comes back in revenge to haunt her murderer, has one toe lacking as in life. And in a recent story a surgeon whose desire to experiment has caused him needlessly to sacrifice a man's life on the operating table, is haunted to death by the dismembered arm. Fiction shows us various ghosts with half faces, and at least one notable spook that comes in half. Such ability, it will be granted, must necessarily increase the haunting power, for if a ghost may send a foot or an arm or a leg to harry one person, he can dispatch his back-bone or his liver or his heart to upset other human beings simultaneously in a sectional haunting at once economically efficient and terrifying.
Apparitions are easier to recognize today than in the past because they carry into eternity all the flaws and physical traits that their living bodies had—this is discouraging for those who aren't conventionally attractive. Freckles and warts, long noses and missing limbs help identify the ghosts. The horror in Ambrose Bierce's story, The Middle Toe of the Right Foot, is heightened by the fact that the dead woman who returns to haunt her murderer is missing a toe, just like in life. In a recent story, a surgeon whose wish to experiment led him to needlessly sacrifice a man's life on the operating table is haunted to death by the severed arm. Fiction presents various ghosts with half faces and at least one notable spirit that appears in two parts. Such ability, it must be acknowledged, greatly enhances the haunting power, because if a ghost can send a foot, an arm, or a leg to torment one person, it can also send its backbone, liver, or heart to disrupt others at the same time in a haunting that is both economically efficient and terrifying.
The Beast with Five Fingers, for instance, has a loathsome horror that a complete skeleton or conventionally equipped wraith could not achieve. Who can doubt that a bodiless hand leaping around on its errands of evil has a menace that a complete six-foot frame could not duplicate? Yet, in Quiller-Couch's A Pair of Hands, what pathos and beauty in the thought of the child hands coming back to serve others in homely tasks! Surely no housewife in these helpless days would object to being haunted in such delicate fashion.
The Beast with Five Fingers, for example, has a terrifying quality that a full skeleton or a typical ghost just can’t match. Who can deny that a disembodied hand moving around on its evil missions has a threat that a complete six-foot figure couldn’t replicate? Yet, in Quiller-Couch's A Pair of Hands, what sadness and beauty in the idea of childlike hands returning to help others with everyday tasks! Surely no housewife in these vulnerable times would mind being haunted in such a gentle way.
Ghosts of to-day have an originality that antique specters lacked. For instance, what story of the past has the awful thrill in Andreyev's Lazarus, that story of the man who came back from the grave, living, yet dead, with the horror of the unknown so manifest in his face that those who looked into his deep eyes met their doom? Present-day writers skillfully combine various elements of awe with the supernatural, as madness with the ghostly, adding to the chill of fear which each concept gives. Wilbur Daniel Steele's The Woman at Seven Brothers is an instance of that method.
Ghosts today have a creativity that old specters didn't have. For example, what story from the past gives you the same terrifying thrill as Andreyev's Lazarus, the tale of a man who returned from the grave, somehow alive yet dead, with the fear of the unknown so evident on his face that anyone who gazed into his deep eyes faced their doom? Contemporary writers expertly blend different elements of fear with the supernatural, mixing madness with ghostly themes, heightening the chill of fear that each idea brings. Wilbur Daniel Steele's The Woman at Seven Brothers is an example of that technique.
Poe's Ligeia, one of the best stories in any language, reveals the unrelenting will of the dead to effect its desire,—the dead wife triumphantly coming back to life through the second wife's body. Olivia Howard Dunbar's The Shell of Sense is another instance of jealousy reaching beyond the grave. The Messenger, one of Robert W. Chambers's early stories and an admirable example of the supernatural, has various thrills, with its river of blood, its death's head moth, and the ancient but very active skull of the Black Priest who was shot as a traitor to his country, but lived on as an energetic and curseful ghost.
Poe's Ligeia, one of the greatest stories in any language, shows the unyielding desire of the dead to fulfill their wishes—the dead wife triumphantly returning to life through the second wife's body. Olivia Howard Dunbar's The Shell of Sense is another example of jealousy reaching beyond the grave. The Messenger, one of Robert W. Chambers's early stories and a great example of the supernatural, has various thrills, featuring its river of blood, its death's head moth, and the ancient yet very active skull of the Black Priest who was shot as a traitor to his country but continued to live on as an energetic and vengeful ghost.
The Shadows on the Wall, by Mary E. Wilkins Freeman,—which one prominent librarian considers the best ghost story ever written,—is original in the method of its horrific manifestation. Isn't it more devastating to one's sanity to see the shadow of a revenge ghost cast on the wall,—to know that a vindictive spirit is beside one but invisible—than to see the specter himself? Under such circumstances, the sight of a skeleton or a sheeted phantom would be downright comforting.
The Shadows on the Wall, by Mary E. Wilkins Freeman, which one well-known librarian thinks is the best ghost story ever written, is unique in how it presents horror. Isn't it more mentally unsettling to see the shadow of a vengeful ghost on the wall—knowing that an angry spirit is nearby but unseen—than to actually see the ghost itself? In such cases, spotting a skeleton or a ghost covered in a sheet would be downright reassuring.
The Mass of Shadows, by Anatole France, is an example of the modern tendency to show phantoms in groups, as contrasted with the solitary habits of ancient specters. Here the spirits of those who had sinned for love could meet and celebrate mass together in one evening of the year.
The Mass of Shadows, by Anatole France, is an example of the modern trend of depicting ghosts in groups, as opposed to the solitary nature of ancient spirits. Here, the souls of those who have sinned for love can gather and celebrate mass together on one evening each year.
The delicate beauty of many of the modern ghostly stories is apparent in The Haunted Orchard, by Richard Le Gallienne, for this prose poem has an appeal of tenderness rather than of terror. And everybody who has had affection for a dog will appreciate the pathos of the little sketch, by Myla J. Closser, At the Gate. The dog appears more frequently as a ghost than does any other animal, perhaps because man feels that he is nearer the human,—though the horse is as intelligent and as much beloved. There is an innate pathos about a dog somehow, that makes his appearance in ghostly form more credible and sympathetic, while the ghost of any other animal would tend to have a comic connotation. Other animals in fiction have power of magic—notably the cat—but they don't appear as spirits. But the dog is seen as a pathetic symbol of faithfulness, as a tragic sufferer, or as a terrible revenge ghost. Dogs may come singly or in groups—Edith Wharton has five of different sorts in Kerfol—or in packs, as in Eden Phillpotts's Another Little Heath Hound.
The delicate beauty of many modern ghost stories is clear in The Haunted Orchard, by Richard Le Gallienne, as this prose poem appeals more to tenderness than to terror. Anyone who has loved a dog will relate to the emotions in the little sketch by Myla J. Closser, At the Gate. Dogs appear more often as ghosts than any other animal, perhaps because people feel they're closer to humans—although horses are just as intelligent and beloved. There’s an innate sadness about dogs that makes their ghostly presence more believable and sympathetic, while the ghost of any other animal tends to have a humorous twist. Other animals in fiction possess magical abilities—notably cats—but they don’t show up as spirits. Dogs, however, are viewed as a poignant symbol of loyalty, as tragic victims, or as vengeful ghosts. They may appear alone or in groups—Edith Wharton features five different types in Kerfol—or in packs, as seen in Eden Phillpotts's Another Little Heath Hound.
An illuminating instance of the power of fiction over human faith is furnished by the case of Arthur Machen's The Bowmen, included here. This story it is which started the whole tissue of legendry concerning supernatural aid given the allied armies during the war. This purely fictitious account of an angel army that saved the day at Mons was so vivid that its readers accepted it as truth and obstinately clung to that idea in the face of Mr. Machen's persistent and bewildered explanations that he had invented the whole thing. Editors wrote leading articles about it, ministers preached sermons on it, and the general public preferred to believe in the Mons angels rather than in Arthur Machen. Mr. Machen has shown himself an artist in the supernatural, one whom his generation has not been discerning enough to appreciate. Some of his material is painfully morbid, but his pen is magic and his inkwell holds many dark secrets.
An enlightening example of the influence of fiction on human belief is found in Arthur Machen's The Bowmen, which is included here. This story sparked the entire legend about supernatural assistance given to the allied armies during the war. This entirely fictional tale of an army of angels that saved the day at Mons was so compelling that readers accepted it as reality and stubbornly held onto that belief despite Mr. Machen's repeated and confused explanations that he had made the whole thing up. Editors wrote opinion pieces about it, ministers delivered sermons on it, and the general public preferred to believe in the Mons angels rather than in Arthur Machen himself. Mr. Machen has proven to be a master of the supernatural, someone his generation hasn’t fully appreciated. Some of his material is quite disturbing, but his writing is enchanting and his inkwell holds many dark secrets.
In this collection I have attempted to include specimens of a few of the distinctive types of modern ghosts, as well as to show the art of individual stories. Examples of the humorous ghosts are omitted here, as a number of them will be brought together in Humorous Ghost Stories, the companion volume to this. The ghost lover who reads these pages will think of others that he would like to see included—for I believe that readers are more passionately attached to their own favorite ghost tales than to any other form of literature. But critics will admit the manifest impossibility of bringing together in one volume all the famous examples of the art. Some of the well-known tales, particularly the older ones on which copyright has expired, have been reprinted so often as to be almost hackneyed, while others have been of necessity omitted because of the limitations of space.
In this collection, I've tried to include examples of some of the distinct types of modern ghosts, as well as highlight the art of individual stories. Humorous ghosts are left out here since many of them will be compiled in Humorous Ghost Stories, the companion volume to this one. Ghost enthusiasts reading this will certainly think of others they’d like to see included—because I believe that readers have a deeper connection to their favorite ghost stories than to any other kind of literature. However, critics will acknowledge the clear challenge of bringing together all the famous examples in one book. Some well-known tales, especially the older ones whose copyrights have expired, have been reprinted so many times that they feel overdone, while others have necessarily been left out due to space constraints.
D.S.
D.S.
New York,
March, 1921.
New York,
March 1921.
The Willows
By ALGERNON BLACKWOODBy Algernon Blackwood
From The Listener, by Algernon Blackwood. Published in America by E.P. Dutton, and in England by Everleigh Nash, Ltd. By permission of the publishers and Algernon Blackwood.
From The Listener, by Algernon Blackwood. Published in America by E.P. Dutton, and in England by Everleigh Nash, Ltd. By permission of the publishers and Algernon Blackwood.
I
After leaving Vienna, and long before you come to Buda-Pesth, the Danube enters a region of singular loneliness and desolation, where its waters spread away on all sides regardless of a main channel, and the country becomes a swamp for miles upon miles, covered by a vast sea of low willow-bushes. On the big maps this deserted area is painted in a fluffy blue, growing fainter in color as it leaves the banks, and across it may be seen in large straggling letters the word Sümpfe, meaning marshes.
After leaving Vienna, and long before you reach Buda-Pesth, the Danube flows into a uniquely isolating and desolate area, where its waters spread out in all directions without following a main channel, turning the land into a swamp for miles and miles, covered by a vast sea of low willow bushes. On large maps, this empty region is shaded in a soft blue, fading in color as it moves away from the banks, and across it, you can see the word Sümpfe, which means marshes.
In high flood this great acreage of sand, shingle-beds, and willow-grown islands is almost topped by the water, but in normal seasons the bushes bend and rustle in the free winds, showing their silver leaves to the sunshine in an ever-moving plain of bewildering beauty. These willows never attain to the dignity of trees; they have no rigid trunks; they remain humble bushes, with rounded tops and soft outline, swaying on slender stems that answer to the least pressure of the wind; supple as grasses, and so continually shifting that they somehow give the impression that the entire plain is moving and alive. For the wind sends waves rising and falling over the whole surface, waves of leaves instead of waves of water, green swells like the sea, too, until the branches turn and lift, and then silvery white as their under-side turns to the sun.
In high flood, this vast area of sand, gravel beds, and willow-covered islands is nearly submerged, but during normal seasons, the bushes bend and sway in the open winds, displaying their silver leaves to the sunlight in an ever-changing landscape of stunning beauty. These willows never grow into full trees; they lack sturdy trunks and stay as humble bushes, with rounded tops and soft shapes, swaying on delicate stems that respond to even the slightest breeze; flexible like grasses, and so constantly moving that they somehow make the whole area seem to be shifting and alive. The wind creates waves that rise and fall across the entire surface, waves of leaves instead of waves of water, green swells like the sea, until the branches twist and lift, revealing their silvery white undersides shining in the sun.
Happy to slip beyond the control of stern banks, the Danube here wanders about at will among the intricate network of channels intersecting the islands everywhere with broad avenues down which the waters pour with a shouting sound; making whirlpools, eddies, and foaming rapids; tearing at the sandy banks; carrying away masses of shore and willow-clumps; and forming new islands innumerable which shift daily in size and shape and possess at best an impermanent life, since the flood-time obliterates their very existence.
Happy to break free from the control of strict banks, the Danube wanders freely here among the complex network of channels that cross the islands, with wide paths where the water rushes loudly; creating whirlpools, eddies, and frothy rapids; eroding the sandy banks; washing away clumps of shore and willow; and forming countless new islands that change in size and shape every day, having at most a temporary existence, as the flood season wipes them out completely.
Properly speaking, this fascinating part of the river's life begins soon after leaving Pressburg, and we, in our Canadian canoe, with gipsy tent and frying-pan on board, reached it on the crest of a rising flood about mid-July. That very same morning, when the sky was reddening before sunrise, we had slipped swiftly through still-sleeping Vienna, leaving it a couple of hours later a mere patch of smoke against the blue hills of the Wienerwald on the horizon; we had breakfasted below Fischeramend under a grove of birch trees roaring in the wind; and had then swept on the tearing current past Orth, Hainburg, Petronell (the old Roman Carnuntum of Marcus Aurelius), and so under the frowning heights of Theben on a spur of the Carpathians, where the March steals in quietly from the left and the frontier is crossed between Austria and Hungary.
To be accurate, this fascinating part of the river's journey starts soon after leaving Pressburg, and we, in our Canadian canoe with a gypsy tent and frying pan on board, arrived on the crest of a rising flood around mid-July. That very morning, as the sky began to brighten before sunrise, we glided swiftly through still-sleeping Vienna, leaving it a couple of hours later as just a patch of smoke against the blue hills of the Wienerwald on the horizon; we had breakfasted below Fischeramend under a grove of birch trees swaying in the wind; and then we swept on the rushing current past Orth, Hainburg, Petronell (the old Roman Carnuntum of Marcus Aurelius), and so under the looming heights of Theben on a spur of the Carpathians, where the March quietly flows in from the left and the border is crossed between Austria and Hungary.
Racing along at twelve kilometers an hour soon took us well into Hungary, and the muddy waters—sure sign of flood—sent us aground on many a shingle-bed, and twisted us like a cork in many a sudden belching whirlpool before the towers of Pressburg (Hungarian, Poszóny) showed against the sky; and then the canoe, leaping like a spirited horse, flew at top speed under the gray walls, negotiated safely the sunken chain of the Fliegende Brücke ferry, turned the corner sharply to the left, and plunged on yellow foam into the wilderness of islands, sand-banks, and swamp-land beyond—the land of the willows.
Speeding along at twelve kilometers an hour quickly took us deep into Hungary, and the muddy waters—clear evidence of flooding—stranded us on many gravel banks, twisting us like a cork in sudden whirlpools before the towers of Pressburg (Hungarian, Poszóny) appeared against the sky. Then the canoe, jumping like an eager horse, raced at full speed under the gray walls, safely navigated the submerged chain of the Fliegende Brücke ferry, took a sharp left turn, and charged into the yellow foam of the wilderness filled with islands, sandbanks, and swamplands beyond—the land of the willows.
The change came suddenly, as when a series of bioscope pictures snaps down on the streets of a town and shifts without warning into the scenery of lake and forest. We entered the land of desolation on wings, and in less than half an hour there was neither boat nor fishing-hut nor red roof, nor any single sign of human habitation and civilization within sight. The sense of remoteness from the world of human kind, the utter isolation, the fascination of this singular world of willows, winds, and waters, instantly laid its spell upon us both, so that we allowed laughingly to one another that we ought by rights to have held some special kind of passport to admit us, and that we had, somewhat audaciously, come without asking leave into a separate little kingdom of wonder and magic—a kingdom that was reserved for the use of others who had a right to it, with everywhere unwritten warnings to trespassers for those who had the imagination to discover them.
The change happened suddenly, like when a series of movies transitions from the streets of a town to scenes of lakes and forests without warning. We entered this desolate land in a flash, and in less than half an hour, there were no boats, no fishing huts, no red roofs, and no signs of human life or civilization in sight. The feeling of being far removed from the world of humanity, the sheer isolation, and the allure of this unique world of willows, winds, and waters quickly captivated us both. We jokingly said to each other that we should have had some kind of special passport to gain entry and that we had, a bit boldly, entered a separate little kingdom of wonder and magic—a kingdom meant for others who belonged there, with unspoken warnings for those daring enough to notice them.
Though still early in the afternoon, the ceaseless buffetings of a most tempestuous wind made us feel weary, and we at once began casting about for a suitable camping-ground for the night. But the bewildering character of the islands made landing difficult; the swirling flood carried us in-shore and then swept us out again; the willow branches tore our hands as we seized them to stop the canoe, and we pulled many a yard of sandy bank into the water before at length we shot with a great sideways blow from the wind into a backwater and managed to beach the bows in a cloud of spray. Then we lay panting and laughing after our exertions on hot yellow sand, sheltered from the wind, and in the full blaze of a scorching sun, a cloudless blue sky above, and an immense army of dancing, shouting willow bushes, closing in from all sides, shining with spray and clapping their thousand little hands as though to applaud the success of our efforts.
Though it was still early afternoon, the constant battering from a very fierce wind made us feel exhausted, and we immediately started looking for a good spot to camp for the night. But the confusing nature of the islands made it hard to land; the rushing water pulled us toward the shore and then swept us back out again; the willow branches scraped our hands as we grabbed them to stop the canoe, and we pulled a lot of sandy bank into the water before we finally got pushed with a strong gust from the wind into a quiet area and managed to beach the front of the canoe in a splash of water. Then we lay there, out of breath and laughing after our efforts on hot yellow sand, sheltered from the wind, under the blazing sun, with a clear blue sky above us, and an enormous number of dancing, shouting willow bushes closing in from all sides, sparkling with spray and clapping their many little hands as if to applaud the success of our efforts.
"What a river!" I said to my companion, thinking of all the way we had traveled from the source in the Black Forest, and how we had often been obliged to wade and push in the upper shallows at the beginning of June.
"What a river!" I said to my companion, remembering all the way we had traveled from the source in the Black Forest and how we often had to wade and push through the shallow parts at the beginning of June.
"Won't stand much nonsense now, will it?" he said, pulling the canoe a little farther into safety up the sand, and then composing himself for a nap.
"Won't tolerate much nonsense now, will it?" he said, pulling the canoe a little further up the sand for safety and then getting comfortable for a nap.
I lay by his side, happy and peaceful in the bath of the elements—water, wind, sand, and the great fire of the sun—thinking of the long journey that lay behind us, and of the great stretch before us to the Black Sea, and how lucky I was to have such a delightful and charming traveling companion as my friend, the Swede.
I lay next to him, feeling happy and calm in the mix of the elements—water, wind, sand, and the blazing sun—reflecting on the long journey we had behind us, and the vast distance ahead to the Black Sea, realizing how fortunate I was to have such a wonderful and charming travel buddy as my friend, the Swede.
We had made many similar journeys together, but the Danube, more than any other river I knew, impressed us from the very beginning with its aliveness. From its tiny bubbling entry into the world among the pinewood gardens of Donaueschingen, until this moment when it began to play the great river-game of losing itself among the deserted swamps, unobserved, unrestrained, it had seemed to us like following the growth of some living creature. Sleepy at first, but later developing violent desires as it became conscious of its deep soul, it rolled, like some huge fluid being, through all the countries we had passed, holding our little craft on its mighty shoulders, playing roughly with us sometimes, yet always friendly and well-meaning, till at length we had come inevitably to regard it as a Great Personage.
We had taken many similar trips together, but the Danube, more than any other river I knew, captivated us from the start with its vitality. From its small, bubbling entry into the world among the pine gardens of Donaueschingen, to this moment when it began to play the grand river game of losing itself in the abandoned swamps—unnoticed and unfettered—it felt like we were witnessing the growth of a living being. At first it seemed sleepy, but later it developed intense desires as it became aware of its deep nature. It flowed through all the countries we had visited like some massive, fluid entity, carrying our small boat on its powerful shoulders, sometimes playing roughly with us but always remaining friendly and well-meaning, until we inevitably came to see it as a Great Personage.
How, indeed, could it be otherwise, since it told us so much of its secret life? At night we heard it singing to the moon as we lay in our tent, uttering that odd sibilant note peculiar to itself and said to be caused by the rapid tearing of the pebbles along its bed, so great is its hurrying speed. We knew, too, the voice of its gurgling whirlpools, suddenly bubbling up on a surface previously quite calm; the roar of its shallows and swift rapids; its constant steady thundering below all mere surface sounds; and that ceaseless tearing of its icy waters at the banks. How it stood up and shouted when the rains fell flat upon its face! And how its laughter roared out when the wind blew upstream and tried to stop its growing speed! We knew all its sounds and voices, its tumblings and foamings, its unnecessary splashing against the bridges; that self-conscious chatter when there were hills to look on; the affected dignity of its speech when it passed through the little towns, far too important to laugh; and all these faint, sweet whisperings when the sun caught it fairly in some slow curve and poured down upon it till the steam rose.
How could it be any different when it revealed so much about its hidden life? At night, we heard it singing to the moon as we lay in our tent, making that strange hissing sound that was unique to it, said to be caused by the rapid movement of pebbles along its bed, such was its swift current. We also recognized the sound of its gurgling whirlpools, suddenly bubbling up on a previously calm surface; the roar of its shallows and fast rapids; its steady thunder beneath all the surface noise; and that endless tearing of its icy waters against the banks. We saw how it surged and shouted when the rain poured down on it! And how its laughter roared when the wind blew upstream, trying to slow it down! We knew all its sounds and voices, its tumbles and foams, its unnecessary splashing against the bridges; that self-aware chatter when there were hills to admire; the pretentious dignity of its flow as it passed through the little towns, far too important to laugh; and all those soft, sweet whispers when the sun caught it just right in some slow bend and poured down on it until steam rose.
It was full of tricks, too, in its early life before the great world knew it. There were places in the upper reaches among the Swabian forests, when yet the first whispers of its destiny had not reached it, where it elected to disappear through holes in the ground, to appear again on the other side of the porous limestone hills and start a new river with another name; leaving, too, so little water in its own bed that we had to climb out and wade and push the canoe through miles of shallows!
It was full of tricks in its early days, before the wider world discovered it. There were spots in the upper areas among the Swabian forests, where the first hints of its destiny hadn't reached it yet, where it chose to vanish through holes in the ground, only to reemerge on the other side of the porous limestone hills and start a new river with a different name; leaving so little water in its own bed that we had to climb out, wade, and push the canoe through miles of shallow stretches!
And a chief pleasure, in those early days of its irresponsible youth, was to lie low, like Brer Fox, just before the little turbulent tributaries came to join it from the Alps, and to refuse to acknowledge them when in, but to run for miles side by side, the dividing line well marked, the very levels different, the Danube utterly declining to recognize the new-comer. Below Passau, however, it gave up this particular trick, for there the Inn comes in with a thundering power impossible to ignore, and so pushes and incommodes the parent river that there is hardly room for them in the long twisting gorge that follows, and the Danube is shoved this way and that against the cliffs, and forced to hurry itself with great waves and much dashing to and fro in order to get through in time. And during the fight our canoe slipped down from its shoulder to its breast, and had the time of its life among the struggling waves. But the Inn taught the old river a lesson, and after Passau it no longer pretended to ignore new arrivals.
And one of the main pleasures in those early days of its carefree youth was to lie low, like Brer Fox, just before the little turbulent tributaries joined it from the Alps, refusing to acknowledge them once they were in. Instead, it would run for miles side by side, with a clear dividing line, the levels distinctly different, with the Danube completely refusing to recognize the newcomer. However, below Passau, it gave up this particular act because the Inn came in with a thunderous force that couldn't be ignored. It pushed and crowded the main river so much that there was hardly enough space for them in the long twisting gorge that followed, causing the Danube to be shoved this way and that against the cliffs and forced to hurry through with big waves and a lot of splashing around. During the struggle, our canoe slid from its shoulder down to its chest and had the time of its life among the fighting waves. But the Inn taught the old river a lesson, and after Passau, it no longer pretended to ignore new arrivals.
This was many days back, of course, and since then we had come to know other aspects of the great creature, and across the Bavarian wheat plain of Straubing she wandered so slowly under the blazing June sun that we could well imagine only the surface inches were water, while below there moved, concealed as by a silken mantle, a whole army of Undines, passing silently and unseen down to the sea, and very leisurely too, lest they be discovered.
This was many days ago, of course, and since then we had come to learn more about the great creature. As she wandered slowly across the Bavarian wheat fields of Straubing under the scorching June sun, we could easily picture that only the top layer was water, while beneath, hidden as if by a silken veil, an entire army of Undines was making its way silently and unseen down to the sea, moving at a leisurely pace to avoid being spotted.
Much, too, we forgave her because of her friendliness to the birds and animals that haunted the shores. Cormorants lined the banks in lonely places in rows like short black palings; gray crows crowded the shingle-beds; storks stood fishing in the vistas of shallower water that opened up between the islands, and hawks, swans, and marsh birds of all sorts filled the air with glinting wings and singing, petulant cries. It was impossible to feel annoyed with the river's vagaries after seeing a deer leap with a splash into the water at sunrise and swim past the bows of the canoe; and often we saw fawns peering at us from the underbrush, or looked straight into the brown eyes of a stag as we charged full tilt round a corner and entered another reach of the river. Foxes, too, everywhere haunted the banks, tripping daintily among the driftwood and disappearing so suddenly that it was impossible to see how they managed it.
We forgave her a lot because of her friendliness to the birds and animals that roamed the shores. Cormorants lined the banks in secluded spots in rows like short black fences; gray crows crowded the pebbly beaches; storks were fishing in the shallow water that opened up between the islands, and hawks, swans, and all kinds of marsh birds filled the air with shimmering wings and loud, impatient calls. It was hard to feel annoyed with the river’s unpredictability after witnessing a deer leap with a splash into the water at sunrise and swim past the front of the canoe; and often we spotted fawns peeking at us from the underbrush or looked straight into the brown eyes of a stag as we rushed around a bend and entered another stretch of the river. Foxes, too, were always found along the banks, moving delicately among the driftwood and disappearing so quickly that it was impossible to see how they did it.
But now, after leaving Pressburg, everything changed a little, and the Danube became more serious. It ceased trifling. It was halfway to the Black Sea, within scenting distance almost of other, stranger countries where no tricks would be permitted or understood. It became suddenly grown-up, and claimed our respect and even our awe. It broke out into three arms, for one thing, that only met again a hundred kilometers farther down, and for a canoe there were no indications which one was intended to be followed.
But now, after leaving Pressburg, everything changed slightly, and the Danube became more formidable. It stopped being playful. It was halfway to the Black Sea, almost close enough to smell other, unfamiliar countries where no games would be allowed or understood. It suddenly felt mature and demanded our respect and even our awe. It split into three branches, which only came back together a hundred kilometers later, and there were no signs for a canoe to indicate which one was meant to be followed.
"If you take a side channel," said the Hungarian officer we met in the Pressburg shop while buying provisions, "you may find yourselves, when the flood subsides, forty miles from anywhere, high and dry, and you may easily starve. There are no people, no farms, no fishermen. I warn you not to continue. The river, too, is still rising, and this wind will increase."
"If you take a side channel," said the Hungarian officer we met in the Pressburg shop while buying supplies, "you could end up, when the flood recedes, forty miles from anywhere, stranded and dry, and you might easily starve. There are no people, no farms, no fishermen. I advise you not to go any further. The river is still rising, and this wind is going to get stronger."
The rising river did not alarm us in the least, but the matter of being left high and dry by a sudden subsidence of the waters might be serious, and we had consequently laid in an extra stock of provisions. For the rest, the officer's prophecy held true, and the wind, blowing down a perfectly clear sky, increased steadily till it reached the dignity of a westerly gale.
The rising river didn’t worry us at all, but the idea of being stranded by a sudden drop in the water could be serious, so we stocked up on extra supplies. Other than that, the officer's prediction turned out to be accurate, and the wind, sweeping in from a completely clear sky, gradually picked up until it turned into a strong westerly gale.
It was earlier than usual when we camped, for the sun was a good hour or two from the horizon, and leaving my friend still asleep on the hot sand, I wandered about in desultory examination of our hotel. The island, I found, was less than an acre in extent, a mere sandy bank standing some two or three feet above the level of the river. The far end, pointing into the sunset, was covered with flying spray which the tremendous wind drove off the crests of the broken waves. It was triangular in shape, with the apex upstream.
It was earlier than usual when we set up camp, since the sun was still a good hour or two from the horizon. Leaving my friend asleep on the hot sand, I wandered around casually checking out our hotel. I discovered that the island was less than an acre in size, just a sandy bank rising about two or three feet above the river's level. The far end, facing the sunset, was misty with flying spray that the strong wind whipped off the tops of the choppy waves. It was triangular in shape, with the point facing upstream.
I stood there for several minutes, watching the impetuous crimson flood bearing down with a shouting roar, dashing in waves against the bank as though to sweep it bodily away, and then swirling by in two foaming streams on either side. The ground seemed to shake with the shock and rush while the furious movement of the willow bushes as the wind poured over them increased the curious illusion that the island itself actually moved. Above, for a mile or two, I could see the great river descending upon me: it was like looking up the slope of a sliding hill, white with foam, and leaping up everywhere to show itself to the sun.
I stood there for several minutes, watching the rushing red flood come toward me with a loud roar, crashing in waves against the bank as if it wanted to wash it away completely, then swirling past in two foaming streams on either side. The ground seemed to shake with the force of it all, and the wild movement of the willow bushes in the wind made it feel like the island itself was actually moving. Above me, for a mile or two, I could see the massive river coming down: it looked like looking up a steep, slippery hill, covered in foam and leaping up everywhere to catch the sunlight.
The rest of the island was too thickly grown with willows to make walking pleasant, but I made the tour, nevertheless. From the lower end the light, of course, changed, and the river looked dark and angry. Only the backs of the flying waves were visible, streaked with foam, and pushed forcibly by the great puffs of wind that fell upon them from behind. For a short mile it was visible, pouring in and out among the islands, and then disappearing with a huge sweep into the willows, which closed about it like a herd of monstrous antediluvian creatures crowding down to drink. They made me think of gigantic sponge-like growths that sucked the river up into themselves. They caused it to vanish from sight. They herded there together in such overpowering numbers.
The rest of the island was too densely packed with willows to make walking enjoyable, but I completed the loop anyway. From the lower end, the light shifted, and the river appeared dark and furious. Only the tops of the churning waves were visible, streaked with foam, pushed forcefully by strong gusts of wind from behind. For a brief mile, it was in view, flowing in and out among the islands, before disappearing with a wide curve into the willows, which closed in around it like a group of enormous prehistoric creatures coming to drink. They reminded me of giant sponge-like formations that absorbed the river into themselves. They made it disappear from sight, gathered together in such overwhelming numbers.
Altogether it was an impressive scene, with its utter loneliness, its bizarre suggestion; and as I gazed, long and curiously, a singular emotion began stir somewhere in the depths of me. Midway in my delight of the wild beauty, there crept unbidden and unexplained, a curious feeling of disquietude, almost of alarm.
Altogether it was an impressive scene, with its utter loneliness and strange suggestions; and as I gazed, long and curiously, a unique emotion began to stir somewhere deep inside me. Amid my delight in the wild beauty, an unusual feeling of unease, almost of alarm, crept in unexpectedly and without explanation.
A rising river, perhaps, always suggests something of the ominous: many of the little islands I saw before me would probably have been swept away by the morning; this resistless, thundering flood of water touched the sense of awe. Yet I was aware that my uneasiness lay deeper far than the emotions of awe and wonder. It was not that I felt. Nor had it directly to do with the power of the driving wind—this shouting hurricane that might almost carry up a few acres of willows into the air and scatter them like so much chaff over the landscape. The wind was simply enjoying itself, for nothing rose out of the flat landscape to stop it, and I was conscious of sharing its great game with a kind of pleasurable excitement. Yet this novel emotion had nothing to do with the wind. Indeed, so vague was the sense of distress I experienced, that it was impossible to trace it to its source and deal with it accordingly, though I was aware somehow that it had to do with my realization of our utter insignificance before this unrestrained power of the elements about me. The huge-grown river had something to do with it too—a vague, unpleasant idea that we had somehow trifled with these great elemental forces in whose power we lay helpless every hour of the day and night. For here, indeed, they were gigantically at play together, and the sight appealed to the imagination.
A rising river always suggests something ominous: many of the small islands I saw in front of me would probably be swept away by morning; this unstoppable, thundering flood of water evoked a sense of awe. Yet I knew that my uneasiness went much deeper than just feelings of awe and wonder. It wasn’t just that I felt uneasy, nor was it directly related to the powerful wind—this howling hurricane that could almost lift a few acres of willows into the air and scatter them like chaff across the landscape. The wind was simply enjoying itself, as nothing rose from the flat land to stop it, and I felt a sort of excited thrill in sharing its wild game. Still, this new emotion had nothing to do with the wind. In fact, my sense of distress was so vague that I couldn’t pinpoint its source and address it properly, even though I somehow knew it related to my realization of our complete insignificance in front of the uncontrolled power of nature around me. The enormous river contributed to this feeling as well—a vague, uncomfortable idea that we had somehow toyed with these great elemental forces that we lay powerless before, every hour of every day and night. Here, indeed, they were playfully engaged on a gigantic scale, and the sight sparked the imagination.
But my emotion, so far as I could understand it, seemed to attach itself more particularly to the willow bushes, to these acres and acres of willows, crowding, so thickly growing there, swarming everywhere the eye could reach, pressing upon the river as though to suffocate it, standing in dense array mile after mile beneath the sky, watching, waiting, listening. And, apart quite from the elements, the willows connected themselves subtly with my malaise, attacking the mind insidiously somehow by reason of their vast numbers, and contriving in some way or other to represent to the imagination a new and mighty power, a power, moreover, not altogether friendly to us.
But my feelings, as much as I could grasp them, seemed to be especially linked to the willow bushes, to the sprawling acres of willows, growing so densely and crowding everywhere my gaze could reach, pressing against the river as if trying to smother it, standing thickly mile after mile beneath the sky, watching, waiting, listening. And, entirely separate from the surroundings, the willows somehow connected with my unease, subtly affecting my mind due to their overwhelming numbers, and somehow depicting in my imagination a new and formidable force, a force that wasn’t entirely friendly to us.
Great revelations of nature, of course, never fail to impress in one way or another, and I was no stranger to moods of the kind. Mountains overawe and oceans terrify, while the mystery of great forests exercises a spell peculiarly its own. But all these, at one point or another, somewhere link on intimately with human life and human experience. They stir comprehensible, even if alarming, emotions. They tend on the whole to exalt.
Great revelations of nature always impress in one way or another, and I was not unfamiliar with those kinds of moods. Mountains inspire awe and oceans bring fear, while the mystery of vast forests has a magic all its own. Yet, all of these, at some point, connect closely with human life and experience. They evoke understandable, even if unsettling, emotions. Overall, they tend to uplift.
With this multitude of willows, however, it was something far different, I felt. Some essence emanated from them that besieged the heart. A sense of awe awakened, true, but of awe touched somewhere by a vague terror. Their serried ranks growing everywhere darker about me as the shadows deepened, moving furiously yet softly in the wind, woke in me the curious and unwelcome suggestion that we had trespassed here upon the borders of an alien world, a world where we were intruders, a world where we were not wanted or invited to remain—where we ran grave risks perhaps!
With all these willows around me, I felt something completely different. There was an essence coming from them that struck at my heart. I experienced a sense of awe, yes, but it was mixed with a vague sense of fear. Their dense ranks grew darker as the shadows deepened, moving softly yet frantically in the wind, stirring in me a curious and unsettling thought that we had stepped into the borders of a strange world, a place where we were intruders, a place where we weren’t welcome or invited to stay—where we might be in serious danger!
The feeling, however, though it refused to yield its meaning entirely to analysis, did not at the time trouble me by passing into menace. Yet it never left me quite, even during the very practical business of putting up the tent in a hurricane of wind and building a fire for the stew-pot. It remained, just enough to bother and perplex, and to rob a most delightful camping-ground of a good portion of its charm. To my companion, however, I said nothing, for he was a man I considered devoid of imagination. In the first place, I could never have explained to him what I meant, and in the second, he would have laughed stupidly at me if I had.
The feeling, however, even though it wouldn’t fully reveal its meaning through analysis, didn’t bother me at the time by turning into a real threat. Yet it was always there, even during the practical tasks of setting up the tent in a strong wind and making a fire for the stew. It lingered just enough to annoy and confuse me, taking away some of the charm from an otherwise wonderful camping spot. I didn’t say anything to my companion, though, because I thought he lacked imagination. First, I could never explain what I meant, and second, he would have just laughed at me if I had.
There was a slight depression in the center of the island, and here we pitched the tent. The surrounding willows broke the wind a bit.
There was a small dip in the middle of the island, and that's where we set up the tent. The nearby willows shielded us from the wind a little.
"A poor camp," observed the imperturbable Swede when at last the tent stood upright; "no stones and precious little firewood. I'm for moving on early to-morrow—eh? This sand won't hold anything."
"A lousy campsite," said the unflappable Swede once the tent was finally set up; "no rocks and hardly any firewood. I say we move on first thing tomorrow—what do you think? This sand won't support anything."
But the experience of a collapsing tent at midnight had taught us many devices, and we made the cosy gipsy house as safe as possible, and then set about collecting a store of wood to last till bedtime. Willow bushes drop no branches, and driftwood was our only source of supply. We hunted the shores pretty thoroughly. Everywhere the banks were crumbling as the rising flood tore at them and carried away great portions with a splash and a gurgle.
But the experience of a collapsing tent at midnight had taught us a lot of tricks, so we made the cozy gypsy house as safe as we could, and then started gathering enough wood to last until bedtime. Willow bushes don’t shed branches, and driftwood was our only way to gather supplies. We searched the shores pretty thoroughly. Everywhere the banks were eroding as the rising flood attacked them and took away large chunks with a splash and a gurgle.
"The island's much smaller than when we landed," said the accurate Swede. "It won't last long at this rate. We'd better drag the canoe close to the tent, and be ready to start at a moment's notice. I shall sleep in my clothes."
"The island's a lot smaller than when we landed," said the accurate Swede. "It won't last long at this rate. We should pull the canoe close to the tent and be ready to leave at a moment's notice. I will sleep in my clothes."
He was a little distance off, climbing along the bank, and I heard his rather jolly laugh as he spoke.
He was a short way away, climbing along the riverbank, and I heard his pretty cheerful laugh as he talked.
"By Jove!" I heard him call, a moment later, and turned to see what had caused his exclamation; but for the moment he was hidden by the willows, and I could not find him.
"Wow!" I heard him shout a moment later, and I turned to see what had made him say that; but for the moment he was hidden by the willows, and I couldn't see him.
"What in the world's this?" I heard him cry again, and this time his voice had become serious.
"What in the world is this?" I heard him shout again, and this time his voice was serious.
I ran up quickly and joined him on the bank. He was looking over the river, pointing at something in the water.
I rushed up and joined him on the riverbank. He was gazing at the water, pointing at something below the surface.
"Good Heavens, it's a man's body!" he cried excitedly. "Look!"
"Wow, it's a man's body!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Check it out!"
A black thing, turning over and over in the foaming waves, swept rapidly past. It kept disappearing and coming up to the surface again. It was about twenty feet from the shore, and just as it was opposite to where we stood it lurched round and looked straight at us. We saw its eyes reflecting the sunset, and gleaming an odd yellow as the body turned over. Then it gave a swift, gulping plunge, and dived out of sight in a flash.
A dark shape, rolling over and over in the churning waves, rushed by quickly. It kept vanishing and then resurfacing. It was about twenty feet from the shore, and just when it was in front of us, it suddenly turned and looked right at us. We saw its eyes shining in the sunset, glowing a strange yellow as the body flipped over. Then it took a quick, gulping dive and disappeared in an instant.
"An otter, by gad!" we exclaimed in the same breath, laughing.
"An otter, wow!" we said at the same time, laughing.
It was an otter, alive, and out on the hunt; yet it had looked exactly like the body of a drowned man turning helplessly in the current. Far below it came to the surface once again, and we saw its black skin, wet and shining in the sunlight.
It was an otter, alive and out hunting; yet it looked just like the body of a drowned man turning helplessly in the current. Far below, it came to the surface once again, and we saw its black skin, wet and shining in the sunlight.
Then, too, just as we turned back, our arms full of driftwood, another thing happened to recall us to the river bank. This time it really was a man, and what was more, a man in a boat. Now a small boat on the Danube was an unusual sight at any time, but here in this deserted region, and at flood time, it was so unexpected as to constitute a real event. We stood and stared.
Then, just as we were heading back with our arms full of driftwood, something else brought our attention back to the riverbank. This time it was definitely a man, and even more surprisingly, a man in a boat. A small boat on the Danube is an unusual sight any time, but in this deserted area, especially during flood season, it was so unexpected that it felt like a significant event. We stood there staring.
Whether it was due to the slanting sunlight, or the refraction from the wonderfully illumined water, I cannot say, but, whatever the cause, I found it difficult to focus my sight properly upon the flying apparition. It seemed, however, to be a man standing upright in a sort of flat-bottomed boat, steering with a long oar, and being carried down the opposite shore at a tremendous pace. He apparently was looking across in our direction, but the distance was too great and the light too uncertain for us to make out very plainly what he was about. It seemed to me that he was gesticulating and making signs at us. His voice came across the water to us shouting something furiously but the wind drowned it so that no single word was audible. There was something curious about the whole appearance—man, boat, signs, voice—that made an impression on me out of all proportion to its cause.
Whether it was the angle of the sunlight or the way the beautifully lit water was refracting, I can’t say, but whatever the reason, I found it hard to focus on the flying figure. It looked like a man standing upright in a flat-bottomed boat, steering with a long oar and being carried down the opposite shore at an incredible speed. He seemed to be looking our way, but the distance was too far and the light too unclear for us to see what he was doing very clearly. It appeared to me that he was gesturing and making signs toward us. His voice carried across the water, shouting something angrily, but the wind drowned it out, and we couldn't hear a single word. There was something strange about the whole scene—man, boat, gestures, voice—that made a lasting impression on me that felt way bigger than the actual situation.
"He's crossing himself!" I cried. "Look, he's making the sign of the cross!"
"He's crossing himself!" I shouted. "Look, he's making the sign of the cross!"
"I believe you're right," the Swede said, shading his eyes with his hand and watching the man out of sight. He seemed to be gone in a moment, melting away down there into the sea of willows where the sun caught them in the bend of the river and turned them into a great crimson wall of beauty. Mist, too, had begun to rise, so that the air was hazy.
"I think you’re right," the Swede said, shading his eyes with his hand and watching the man disappear. He seemed to vanish in an instant, blending into the sea of willows where the sun hit them in the river bend and turned them into a stunning crimson wall. Mist had also started to rise, making the air feel hazy.
"But what in the world is he doing at nightfall on this flooded river?" I said, half to myself. "Where is he going at such a time, and what did he mean by his signs and shouting? D'you think he wished to warn us about something?"
"But what on earth is he doing at nightfall on this flooded river?" I said, mostly to myself. "Where is he going at this time, and what did he mean by his gestures and shouting? Do you think he wanted to warn us about something?"
"He saw our smoke, and thought we were spirits probably," laughed my companion. "These Hungarians believe in all sorts of rubbish: you remember the shopwoman at Pressburg warning us that no one ever landed here because it belonged to some sort of beings outside man's world! I suppose they believe in fairies and elementals, possibly demons too. That peasant in the boat saw people on the islands for the first time in his life," he added, after a slight pause, "and it scared him, that's all." The Swede's tone of voice was not convincing, and his manner lacked something that was usually there. I noted the change instantly while he talked, though without being able to label it precisely.
"He saw our smoke and probably thought we were spirits," my friend laughed. "These Hungarians believe in all kinds of nonsense: remember the shopkeeper in Pressburg warning us that no one ever set foot here because it belonged to beings outside of human existence! I guess they believe in fairies, elementals, and probably demons too. That peasant in the boat saw people on the islands for the first time in his life," he added after a brief pause, "and it just scared him, that’s all." The Swede's tone didn't sound convincing, and his demeanor was missing something that was usually there. I noticed the change immediately while he spoke, though I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
"If they had enough imagination," I laughed loudly—I remember trying to make as much noise as I could—"they might well people a place like this with the old gods of antiquity. The Romans must have haunted all this region more or less with their shrines and sacred groves and elemental deities."
"If they had enough imagination," I laughed out loud—I remember trying to make as much noise as I could—"they could easily fill a place like this with the ancient gods from the past. The Romans must have roamed this area with their shrines, sacred groves, and elemental deities."
The subject dropped and we returned to our stew-pot, for my friend was not given to imaginative conversation as a rule. Moreover, just then I remember feeling distinctly glad that he was not imaginative; his stolid, practical nature suddenly seemed to me welcome and comforting. It was an admirable temperament, I felt: he could steer down rapids like a red Indian, shoot dangerous bridges and whirlpools better than any white man I ever saw in a canoe. He was a grand fellow for an adventurous trip, a tower of strength when untoward things happened. I looked at his strong face and light curly hair as he staggered along under his pile of driftwood (twice the size of mine!), and I experienced a feeling of relief. Yes, I was distinctly glad just then that the Swede was—what he was, and that he never made remarks that suggested more than they said.
The topic came to an end, and we went back to our stew-pot because my friend usually wasn’t one for imaginative conversation. At that moment, I remember feeling really glad he wasn’t imaginative; his steady, practical nature felt reassuring. I thought it was a great temperament; he could navigate rapids like a Native American, and handle treacherous bridges and whirlpools better than any white man I’d ever seen in a canoe. He was an excellent companion for an adventurous trip, a solid support when unexpected things happened. I looked at his strong face and light curly hair as he lumbered along with his huge load of driftwood (twice the size of mine!), and I felt a sense of relief. Yes, I was definitely glad in that moment that the Swede was exactly who he was, and that he never said anything that hinted at more than it actually meant.
"The river's still rising, though," he added, as if following out some thoughts of his own, and dropping his load with a gasp. "This island will be under water in two days if it goes on."
"The river's still rising, though," he added, as if he was following his own thoughts and dropped his load with a gasp. "This island will be underwater in two days if it keeps this up."
"I wish the wind would go down," I said. "I don't care a fig for the river."
"I wish the wind would die down," I said. "I don't care at all about the river."
The flood, indeed, had no terrors for us; we could get off at ten minutes' notice, and the more water the better we liked it. It meant an increasing current and the obliteration of the treacherous shingle-beds that so often threatened to tear the bottom out of our canoe.
The flood didn't scare us at all; we could leave at a moment's notice, and the more water, the better. It meant a stronger current and the disappearance of the dangerous gravel beds that often tried to rip the bottom out of our canoe.
Contrary to our expectations, the wind did not go down with the sun. It seemed to increase with the darkness, howling overhead and shaking the willows round us like straws. Curious sounds accompanied it sometimes, like the explosion of heavy guns, and it fell upon the water and the island in great flat blows of immense power. It made me think of the sounds a planet must make, could we only hear it, driving along through space.
Contrary to what we expected, the wind didn’t calm down with the sunset. Instead, it seemed to pick up as it got darker, howling above us and shaking the willows around like they were made of straw. Sometimes it brought strange sounds, like the booming of heavy guns, and it hit the water and the island with powerful, flat blows. It made me think of the noises a planet might make if we could only hear it moving through space.
But the sky kept wholly clear of clouds, and soon after supper the full moon rose up in the east and covered the river and the plain of shouting willows with a light like the day.
But the sky remained completely free of clouds, and shortly after dinner, the full moon rose in the east, illuminating the river and the field of rustling willows with a brightness like daytime.
We lay on the sandy patch beside the fire, smoking, listening to the noises of the night round us, and talking happily of the journey we had already made, and of our plans ahead. The map lay spread in the door of the tent, but the high wind made it hard to study, and presently we lowered the curtain and extinguished the lantern. The firelight was enough to smoke and see each other's faces by, and the sparks flew about overhead like fireworks. A few yards beyond, the river gurgled and hissed, and from time to time a heavy splash announced the falling away of further portions of the bank.
We were sprawled on the sandy patch next to the fire, smoking, listening to the night sounds around us, and chatting excitedly about the journey we’d already taken and our plans for what was next. The map was spread out at the tent door, but the strong wind made it difficult to see, so we eventually closed the curtain and put out the lantern. The firelight was enough for us to smoke and see each other’s faces, with sparks floating overhead like fireworks. A few yards away, the river splashed and hissed, and occasionally a loud splash signaled the collapse of more bits of the bank.
Our talk, I noticed, had to do with the far-away scenes and incidents of our first camps in the Black Forest, or of other subjects altogether remote from the present setting, for neither of us spoke of the actual moment more than was necessary—almost as though we had agreed tacitly to avoid discussion of the camp and its incidents. Neither the otter nor the boatman, for instance, received the honor of a single mention, though ordinarily these would have furnished discussion for the greater part of the evening. They were, of course, distinct events in such a place.
Our conversation, I noticed, revolved around the distant scenes and events from our first camps in the Black Forest, or about other topics completely unrelated to our current environment, because neither of us spoke about the present moment more than necessary—almost as if we had silently agreed to steer clear of discussing the camp and what happened there. Neither the otter nor the boatman, for example, got a single mention, even though they would usually provide enough material for most of the evening. They were, of course, significant occurrences in such a setting.
The scarcity of wood made it a business to keep the fire going, for the wind, that drove the smoke in our faces wherever we sat, helped at the same time to make a forced draught. We took it in turn to make foraging expeditions into the darkness, and the quantity the Swede brought back always made me feel that he took an absurdly long time finding it; for the fact was I did not care much about being left alone, and yet it always seemed to be my turn to grub about among the bushes or scramble along the slippery banks in the moonlight. The long day's battle with wind and water—such wind and such water!—had tired us both, and an early bed was the obvious program. Yet neither of us made the move for the tent. We lay there, tending the fire, talking in desultory fashion, peering about us into the dense willow bushes, and listening to the thunder of wind and river. The loneliness of the place had entered our very bones, and silence seemed natural, for after a bit the sound of our voices became a trifle unreal and forced; whispering would have been the fitting mode of communication, I felt, and the human voice, always rather absurd amid the roar of the elements, now carried with it something almost illegitimate. It was like talking out loud in church, or in some place where it was not lawful, perhaps not quite safe, to be overheard.
The shortage of wood turned keeping the fire alive into a task, since the wind blew smoke in our faces no matter where we sat, while also creating an unnatural draft. We took turns going out into the darkness to gather more, and the amount the Swede brought back always made me think he took way too long to find it; the truth was, I didn’t like being left alone, yet it always seemed to be my turn to rummage through the bushes or slip along the muddy banks in the moonlight. We were both exhausted from the long day battling the wind and water—what a wind and what a water!—so going to bed early was an obvious choice. Yet neither of us made a move toward the tent. We lay there, maintaining the fire, chatting casually, peering into the thick willow bushes, and listening to the roaring wind and river. The emptiness of the place had seeped into our bones, and silence felt natural, turning our voices after a while into something a bit surreal and forced; I felt that whispering would have been the right way to communicate, as the human voice, always a bit ridiculous against the backdrop of nature’s fury, now felt almost inappropriate. It was like speaking out loud in church, or in a place where it wasn’t quite okay, or perhaps not entirely safe, to be overheard.
The eeriness of this lonely island, set among a million willows, swept by a hurricane, and surrounded by hurrying deep waters, touched us both, I fancy. Untrodden by man, almost unknown to man, it lay there beneath the moon, remote from human influence, on the frontier of another world, an alien world, a world tenanted by willows only and the souls of willows. And we, in our rashness, had dared to invade it, even to make use of it! Something more than the power of its mystery stirred in me as I lay on the sand, feet to fire, and peered up through the leaves at the stars. For the last time I rose to get firewood.
The eeriness of this lonely island, surrounded by countless willows, battered by a hurricane, and encircled by rushing deep waters, affected both of us, I think. Untouched by humans, nearly unknown to people, it rested there under the moonlight, far from human reach, on the edge of another world, a strange world, a world inhabited only by willows and the spirits of willows. And we, in our boldness, had dared to intrude upon it, even to make use of it! Something more than its mystery stirred within me as I lay on the sand, feet by the fire, looking up through the leaves at the stars. For the last time, I got up to gather firewood.
"When this has burnt up," I said firmly, "I shall turn in," and my companion watched me lazily as I moved off into the surrounding shadows.
"When this is finished," I said confidently, "I'm going to bed," and my friend watched me casually as I walked into the surrounding darkness.
For an unimaginative man I thought he seemed unusually receptive that night, unusually open to suggestion of things other than sensory. He too was touched by the beauty and loneliness of the place. I was not altogether pleased, I remember, to recognize this slight change in him, and instead of immediately collecting sticks, I made my way to the far point of the island where the moonlight on plain and river could be seen to better advantage. The desire to be alone had come suddenly upon me; my former dread returned in force; there was a vague feeling in me I wished to face and probe to the bottom.
For a guy who usually lacks imagination, he seemed surprisingly open that night, unusually receptive to ideas beyond just the physical. He was also moved by the beauty and isolation of the place. I wasn't entirely happy, I remember, to notice this subtle shift in him, and rather than immediately gathering sticks, I headed to the far edge of the island where the moonlight on the land and river looked even more amazing. The urge to be alone hit me suddenly; my earlier fear came back strong; there was a nagging feeling inside me that I wanted to confront and explore deeply.
When I reached the point of sand jutting out among the waves, the spell of the place descended upon me with a positive shock. No mere "scenery" could have produced such an effect. There was something more here, something to alarm.
When I got to the stretch of sand sticking out among the waves, the vibe of the place hit me like a jolt. No ordinary "view" could create such an impact. There was something deeper here, something unsettling.
I gazed across the waste of wild waters; I watched the whispering willows; I heard the ceaseless beating of the tireless wind; and, one and all, each in its own way, stirred in me this sensation of a strange distress. But the willows especially: for ever they went on chattering and talking among themselves, laughing a little, shrilly crying out, sometimes sighing—but what it was they made so much to-do about belonged to the secret life of the great plain they inhabited. And it was utterly alien to the world I knew, or to that of the wild yet kindly elements. They made me think of a host of beings from another plane of life, another evolution altogether, perhaps, all discussing a mystery known only to themselves. I watched them moving busily together, oddly shaking their big bushy heads, twirling their myriad leaves even when there was no wind. They moved of their own will as though alive, and they touched, by some incalculable method, my own keen sense of the horrible.
I looked out over the stretch of wild waters; I observed the rustling willows; I heard the endless sound of the persistent wind; and each one, in its own way, stirred a feeling of strange unease within me. But the willows especially caught my attention: they constantly chattered and communicated among themselves, laughing a bit, occasionally crying out sharply, sometimes sighing—but what they were so animated about belonged to the hidden life of the vast plain they lived in. It was completely foreign to the world I knew, or to the wild yet gentle forces around me. They reminded me of a multitude of beings from another realm of existence, perhaps from a different evolution altogether, all debating a mystery known only to them. I watched them moving together energetically, oddly shaking their large, bushy heads, twirling their countless leaves even when there was no breeze. They moved as if by their own will, almost as if alive, and they somehow touched my deep sense of the horrible.
There they stood in the moonlight, like a vast army surrounding our camp, shaking their innumerable silver spears defiantly, formed all ready for an attack.
There they stood in the moonlight, like a massive army surrounding our camp, shaking their countless silver spears defiantly, all set for an attack.
The psychology of places, for some imaginations at least, is very vivid; for the wanderer, especially, camps have their "note" either of welcome or rejection. At first it may not always be apparent, because the busy preparations of tent and cooking prevent, but with the first pause—after supper usually—it comes and announces itself. And the note of this willow-camp now became unmistakably plain to me: we were interlopers, trespassers, we were not welcomed. The sense of unfamiliarity grew upon me as I stood there watching. We touched the frontier of a region where our presence was resented. For a night's lodging we might perhaps be tolerated; but for a prolonged and inquisitive stay—No! by all the gods of the trees and the wilderness, no! We were the first human influences upon this island, and we were not wanted. The willows were against us.
The psychology of places, at least for some people, is very vivid; for travelers, especially, camps have a distinct vibe of either invitation or exclusion. At first, it might not be obvious, since the busy tasks of setting up tents and cooking distract you, but once things settle down—usually after dinner—it hits you. And the vibe of this willow camp became really clear to me: we were outsiders, intruders, and we weren't welcome. The feeling of unfamiliarity grew stronger as I stood there observing. We had crossed into a space where our presence was not appreciated. For one night, we might be tolerated, but for a longer and more curious visit—No! By all the spirits of the trees and nature, absolutely not! We were the first humans to set foot on this island, and we were not wanted. The willows were against us.
Strange thoughts like these, bizarre fancies, borne I know not whence, found lodgment in my mind as I stood listening. What, I thought, if, after all, these crouching willows proved to be alive; if suddenly they should rise up, like a swarm of living creatures, marshaled by the gods whose territory we had invaded, sweep towards us off the vast swamps, booming overhead in the night—and then settle down! As I looked it was so easy to imagine they actually moved, crept nearer, retreated a little, huddled together in masses, hostile, waiting for the great wind that should finally start them a-running. I could have sworn their aspect changed a little, and their ranks deepened and pressed more closely together.
Strange thoughts like these, bizarre ideas, I don't know where they came from, settled in my mind as I listened. What if, I wondered, those crouching willows were actually alive; what if they suddenly rose up, like a swarm of living beings, summoned by the gods whose land we had intruded on, rushing toward us from the vast swamps, booming above us in the night—and then settled down! As I looked, it was easy to imagine they were actually moving, creeping closer, pulling back a bit, huddled together in groups, hostile, waiting for the big wind that would finally set them off running. I could have sworn their appearance changed slightly, and their ranks deepened and pressed more closely together.
The melancholy shrill cry of a night bird sounded overhead, and suddenly I nearly lost my balance as the piece of bank I stood upon fell with a great splash into the river, undermined by the flood. I stepped back just in time, and went on hunting for firewood again, half laughing at the odd fancies that crowded so thickly into my mind and cast their spell upon me. I recall the Swede's remark about moving on next day, and I was just thinking that I fully agreed with him, when I turned with a start and saw the subject of my thoughts standing immediately in front of me. He was quite close. The roar of the elements had covered his approach.
The sad, high-pitched cry of a night bird echoed above me, and suddenly I almost lost my balance as the section of the bank I was standing on collapsed with a loud splash into the river, weakened by the flood. I stepped back just in time and resumed my search for firewood, half-laughing at the strange thoughts that crowded into my mind and captivated me. I remembered the Swede's comment about moving on the next day, and I was just thinking about how much I agreed with him when I jumped in surprise and saw him standing right in front of me. He was very close. The noise of the storm had masked his approach.
"You've been gone so long," he shouted above the wind, "I thought something must have happened to you."
"You've been gone for so long," he yelled over the wind, "I thought something might have happened to you."
But there was that in his tone, and a certain look in his face as well, that conveyed to me more than his actual words, and in a flash I understood the real reason for his coming. It was because the spell of the place had entered his soul too, and he did not like being alone.
But there was something in his tone, along with a look on his face, that told me more than his actual words did, and in an instant, I understood the real reason for his visit. It was because the magic of the place had gotten to him as well, and he didn’t like being alone.
"River still rising," he cried, pointing to the flood in the moonlight, "and the wind's simply awful."
"River's still rising," he shouted, pointing at the flood in the moonlight, "and the wind is just terrible."
He always said the same things, but it was the cry for companionship that gave the real importance to his words.
He always said the same things, but it was his plea for companionship that gave real meaning to his words.
"Lucky," I cried back, "our tent's in the hollow. I think it'll hold all right." I added something about the difficulty of finding wood, in order to explain my absence, but the wind caught my words and flung them across the river, so that he did not hear, but just looked at me through the branches, nodding his head.
"Lucky," I shouted back, "our tent's in the hollow. I think it'll be fine." I mentioned something about how hard it was to find wood to explain why I was gone, but the wind swept my words away and tossed them across the river, so he didn’t hear me and just looked at me through the branches, nodding his head.
"Lucky if we get away without disaster!" he shouted, or words to that effect; and I remember feeling half angry with him for putting the thought into words, for it was exactly what I felt myself. There was disaster impending somewhere, and the sense of presentiment lay unpleasantly upon me.
"Lucky if we can get through this without a disaster!" he shouted, or something like that; and I remember feeling a bit angry with him for saying it out loud, because it was exactly what I was thinking. There was a disaster looming somewhere, and the feeling of foreboding weighed heavily on me.
We went back to the fire and made a final blaze, poking it up with our feet. We took a last look round. But for the wind the heat would have been unpleasant. I put this thought into words, and I remember my friend's reply struck me oddly: that he would rather have the heat, the ordinary July weather, than this "diabolical wind."
We returned to the fire and built it up one last time, prodding it with our feet. We took a final look around. If it weren't for the wind, the heat would have been uncomfortable. I voiced this thought, and I remember my friend's response surprised me: he said he’d prefer the heat, the typical July weather, over this "devilish wind."
Everything was snug for the night; the canoe lying turned over beside the tent, with both yellow paddles beneath her; the provision sack hanging from a willow stem, and the washed-up dishes removed to a safe distance from the fire, all ready for the morning meal.
Everything was cozy for the night; the canoe was turned upside down next to the tent, with both yellow paddles underneath it; the food bag was hanging from a willow branch, and the cleaned dishes were moved to a safe distance from the fire, all set for the breakfast in the morning.
We smothered the embers of the fire with sand, and then turned in. The flap of the tent door was up, and I saw the branches and the stars and the white moonlight. The shaking willows and the heavy buffetings of the wind against our taut little house were the last things I remembered as sleep came down and covered all with its soft and delicious forgetfulness.
We covered the dying fire with sand and then went to bed. The tent door was open, and I could see the branches, the stars, and the bright moonlight. The trembling willows and the strong gusts of wind against our small tent were the last things I remembered before sleep came and wrapped everything in its soft and comforting embrace.
II
Suddenly I found myself lying awake, peering from my sandy mattress through the door of the tent. I looked at my watch pinned against the canvas, and saw by the bright moonlight that it was past twelve o'clock—the threshold of a new day—and I had therefore slept a couple of hours. The Swede was asleep still beside me; the wind howled as before something plucked at my heart and made me feel afraid. There was a sense of disturbance in my immediate neighborhood.
Suddenly, I found myself lying awake, looking through the door of the tent from my sandy mattress. I checked my watch pressed against the canvas and saw in the bright moonlight that it was past midnight—the start of a new day—and I had therefore slept for a few hours. The Swede was still asleep beside me; the wind howled just like before, and something tugged at my heart, making me feel scared. There was a sense of unease in my immediate surroundings.
I sat up quickly and looked out. The trees were swaying violently to and fro as the gusts smote them, but our little bit of green canvas lay snugly safe in the hollow, for the wind passed over it without meeting enough resistance to make it vicious. The feeling of disquietude did not pass however, and I crawled quietly out of the tent to see if our belongings were safe. I moved carefully so as not to waken my companion. A curious excitement was on me.
I sat up quickly and looked outside. The trees were swaying wildly back and forth as the strong gusts hit them, but our little patch of green canvas was securely tucked in the hollow, as the wind flowed over it without enough force to be harmful. However, the feeling of unease didn't go away, and I quietly crawled out of the tent to check if our things were okay. I moved carefully so I wouldn’t wake my companion. A strange excitement filled me.
I was halfway out, kneeling on all fours, when my eye first took in that the tops of the bushes opposite, with their moving tracery of leaves, made shapes against the sky. I sat back on my haunches and stared. It was incredible, surely, but there, opposite and slightly above me, were shapes of some indeterminate sort among the willows, and as the branches swayed in the wind they seemed to group themselves about these shapes, forming a series of monstrous outlines that shifted rapidly beneath the moon. Close, about fifty feet in front of me, I saw these things.
I was halfway out, kneeling on all fours, when I first noticed that the tops of the bushes across from me, with their moving leaves, were creating shapes against the sky. I sat back on my heels and stared. It was amazing, for there, slightly above me, were shapes of some unclear sort among the willows, and as the branches swayed in the wind, they seemed to circle around these shapes, forming a series of monstrous outlines that shifted quickly under the moon. I could see these things clearly, about fifty feet in front of me.
My first instinct was to waken my companion that he too might see them, but something made me hesitate—the sudden realization, probably, that I should not welcome corroboration; and meanwhile I crouched there staring in amazement with smarting eyes. I was wide awake. I remember saying to myself that I was not dreaming.
My first instinct was to wake up my friend so he could see them too, but something held me back—most likely the sudden realization that I didn’t really want confirmation; and in the meantime, I crouched there staring in amazement with eyes that stung. I was fully awake. I remember telling myself that I was not dreaming.
They first became properly visible, these huge figures, just within the tops of the bushes—immense bronze-colored, moving, and wholly independent of the swaying of the branches. I saw them plainly and noted, now I came to examine them more calmly, that they were very much larger than human, and indeed that something in their appearance proclaimed them to be not human at all. Certainly they were not merely the moving tracery of the branches against the moonlight. They shifted independently. They rose upwards in a continuous stream from earth to sky, vanishing utterly as soon as they reached the dark of the sky. They were interlaced one with another, making a great column, and I saw their limbs and huge bodies melting in and out of each other, forming this serpentine line that bent and swayed and twisted spirally with the contortions of the wind-tossed trees. They were nude, fluid shapes, passing up the bushes, within the leaves almost—rising up in a living column into the heavens. Their faces I never could see. Unceasingly they poured upwards, swaying in great bending curves, with a hue of dull bronze upon their skins.
They first became clearly visible, these huge figures, just at the top of the bushes—massive bronze-colored, moving, and completely separate from the swaying branches. I saw them clearly and noted, as I calmed down to examine them, that they were much larger than humans, and something about their appearance indicated that they were not human at all. They definitely weren’t just the moving outlines of branches against the moonlight. They moved independently. They rose continuously from the ground to the sky, completely disappearing as soon as they hit the dark sky. They intertwined with each other, forming a huge column, and I saw their limbs and enormous bodies merging and separating, creating this serpentine shape that bent and swayed and twisted with the movements of the wind-tossed trees. They were nude, fluid forms, climbing up the bushes, within the leaves almost—rising into a living column towards the heavens. I could never see their faces. They continuously flowed upwards, swaying in large bending curves, with a dull bronze hue on their skin.
I stared, trying to force every atom of vision from my eyes. For a long time I thought they must every moment disappear and resolve themselves into the movements of the branches and prove to be an optical illusion. I searched everywhere for a proof of reality, when all the while I understood quite well that the standard of reality had changed. For the longer I looked the more certain I became that these figures were real and living, though perhaps not according to the standards that the camera and the biologist would insist upon.
I stared, trying to will every particle of sight from my eyes. For a long time, I thought they must disappear at any moment and turn into the movements of the branches, proving to be just an optical illusion. I searched everywhere for proof of reality, all the while knowing that the standard of reality had shifted. The longer I looked, the more convinced I became that these figures were real and alive, though maybe not in the way that a camera or a biologist would require.
Far from feeling fear, I was possessed with a sense of awe and wonder such as I have never known. I seemed to be gazing at the personified elemental forces of this haunted and primeval region. Our intrusion had stirred the powers of the place into activity. It was we who were the cause of the disturbance, and my brain filled to bursting with stories and legends of the spirits and deities of places that have been acknowledged and worshiped by men in all ages of the world's history. But, before I could arrive at any possible explanation, something impelled me to go farther out, and I crept forward on to the sand and stood upright. I felt the ground still warm under my bare feet; the wind tore at my hair and face; and the sound of the river burst upon my ears with a sudden roar. These things, I knew, were real, and proved that my senses were acting normally. Yet the figures still rose from earth to heaven, silent, majestically, in a great spiral of grace and strength that overwhelmed me at length with a genuine deep emotion of worship. I felt that I must fall down and worship—absolutely worship.
Far from feeling scared, I was filled with a sense of awe and wonder like I had never experienced before. It felt like I was looking at the elemental forces of this haunted and ancient place. Our presence had awakened the power of the area. We were the ones causing the disturbance, and my mind overflowed with stories and legends of the spirits and deities that have been recognized and revered by people throughout history. But before I could make sense of it all, something pushed me to go further, so I stepped onto the sand and stood up. I felt the ground still warm beneath my bare feet; the wind whipped through my hair and across my face; and the sound of the river suddenly roared in my ears. I knew these things were real, proving that my senses were functioning normally. Yet the figures still rose from the ground to the sky, silent and majestic, in a graceful and powerful spiral that eventually moved me to a deep feeling of worship. I felt compelled to kneel and worship—completely worship.
Perhaps in another minute I might have done so, when a gust of wind swept against me with such force that it blew me sideways, and I nearly stumbled and fell. It seemed to shake the dream violently out of me. At least it gave me another point of view somehow. The figures still remained, still ascended into heaven from the heart of the night, but my reason at last began to assert itself. It must be a subjective experience, I argued—none the less real for that, but still subjective. The moonlight and the branches combined to work out these pictures upon the mirror of my imagination, and for some reason I projected them outwards and made them appear objective. I knew this must be the case, of course. I was the subject of a vivid and interesting hallucination. I took courage, and began to move forward across the open patches of sand. By Jove, though, was it all hallucination? Was it merely subjective? Did not my reason argue in the old futile way from the little standard of the known?
Maybe in another minute I would have done that, when a sudden gust of wind hit me so hard that it knocked me sideways, and I almost tripped and fell. It felt like it violently shook the dream out of me. At least it gave me a different perspective somehow. The figures still lingered, still rising into the sky from the heart of the night, but my reasoning finally started to kick in. It had to be a subjective experience, I told myself—no less real for that, but still subjective. The moonlight and the branches came together to create these images in my mind, and for some reason, I projected them outward, making them seem real. I knew this had to be true, of course. I was experiencing a vivid and interesting hallucination. I gathered my courage and started moving forward across the open patches of sand. But was it really all just a hallucination? Was it merely subjective? Didn't my reasoning still argue in that old, pointless way based on what I already knew?
I only know that great column of figures ascended darkly into the sky for what seemed a very long period of time, and with a very complete measure of reality as most men are accustomed to gauge reality. Then suddenly they were gone!
I only know that huge column of numbers rose up darkly into the sky for what felt like a really long time, with a very solid sense of reality that most people are used to measuring reality. Then, just like that, they were gone!
And, once they were gone and the immediate wonder of their great presence had passed, fear came down upon me with a cold rush. The esoteric meaning of this lonely and haunted region suddenly flamed up within me and I began to tremble dreadfully. I took a quick look round—a look of horror that came near to panic—calculating vainly ways of escape; and then, realizing how helpless I was to achieve anything really effective, I crept back silently into the tent and lay down again upon my sandy mattress, first lowering the door-curtain to shut out the sight of the willows in the moonlight, and then burying my head as deeply as possible beneath the blankets to deaden the sound of the terrifying wind.
And once they were gone and the shock of their great presence faded, fear hit me like a cold wave. The strange meaning of this lonely and eerie place suddenly surged within me, and I started to tremble uncontrollably. I quickly glanced around—a look of horror that almost turned into panic—desperately trying to think of ways to escape; but then, realizing how powerless I was to actually do anything, I silently crawled back into the tent and lay down again on my sandy mattress, first pulling down the door curtain to block out the view of the willows in the moonlight, and then burying my head as deep as I could under the blankets to muffle the sound of the terrifying wind.
III
As though further to convince me that I had not been dreaming, I remember that it was a long time before I fell again into a troubled and restless sleep; and even then only the upper crust of me slept, and underneath there was something that never quite lost consciousness, but lay alert and on the watch.
As if to further prove that I hadn’t been dreaming, I recall that it took me a long time to drift back into a restless and troubled sleep; and even then, only the surface of me was asleep, while something deep inside remained aware and vigilant.
But this second time I jumped up with a genuine start of terror. It was neither the wind nor the river that woke me, but the slow approach of something that caused the sleeping portion of me to grow smaller and smaller till at last it vanished altogether, and I found myself sitting bolt upright—listening.
But this time, I jumped up in real terror. It wasn't the wind or the river that woke me, but the slow presence of something that made the sleepy part of me fade away until it disappeared completely, and I realized I was sitting straight up—listening.
Outside there was a sound of multitudinous little patterings. They had been coming, I was aware, for a long time, and in my sleep they had first become audible. I sat there nervously wide awake as though I had not slept at all. It seemed to me that my breathing came with difficulty, and that there was a great weight upon the surface of my body. In spite of the hot night, I felt clammy with cold and shivered. Something surely was pressing steadily against the sides of the tent and weighing down upon it from above. Was it the body of the wind? Was this the pattering rain, the dripping of the leaves? The spray blown from the river by the wind and gathering in big drops? I thought quickly of a dozen things.
Outside, there was a sound of countless little patters. I realized they had been going on for a long time, and they had first become noticeable in my sleep. I sat there, nervously wide awake as if I hadn’t slept at all. It felt like my breathing was labored, and there was a heavy weight pressing down on my body. Despite the warm night, I felt cold and shivery. Something was definitely pushing against the sides of the tent and pressing down from above. Was it the force of the wind? Was it the rain pattering, or the dripping leaves? Was it the spray from the river being blown by the wind and gathering in large drops? I quickly thought of a dozen possibilities.
Then suddenly the explanation leaped into my mind: a bough from the poplar, the only large tree on the island, had fallen with the wind. Still half caught by the other branches, it would fall with the next gust and crush us, and meanwhile its leaves brushed and tapped upon the tight canvas surface of the tent. I raised the loose flap and rushed out, calling to the Swede to follow.
Then suddenly it hit me: a branch from the poplar, the only big tree on the island, had fallen in the wind. Still caught up in the other branches, it would drop with the next gust and crush us, and in the meantime, its leaves were brushing and tapping against the tight canvas surface of the tent. I lifted the loose flap and rushed out, calling for the Swede to follow.
But when I got out and stood upright I saw that the tent was free. There was no hanging bough; there was no rain or spray; nothing approached.
But when I got out and stood up, I saw that the tent was clear. There were no branches hanging down; there was no rain or mist; nothing was coming close.
A cold, gray light filtered down through the bushes and lay on the faintly gleaming sand. Stars still crowded the sky directly overhead, and the wind howled magnificently, but the fire no longer gave out any glow, and I saw the east reddening in streaks through the trees. Several hours must have passed since I stood there before, watching the ascending figures, and the memory of it now came back to me horribly, like an evil dream. Oh, how tired it made me feel, that ceaseless raging wind! Yet, though the deep lassitude of a sleepless night was on me, my nerves were tingling with the activity of an equally tireless apprehension, and all idea of repose was out of the question. The river I saw had risen further. Its thunder filled the air, and a fine spray made itself felt through my thin sleeping shirt.
A cold, gray light filtered through the bushes and rested on the faintly shining sand. Stars still crowded the sky directly above me, and the wind howled powerfully, but the fire had lost its glow, and I could see the east turning red in streaks through the trees. Several hours must have passed since I was last standing there, watching the figures rise, and the memory of it came back to me unsettlingly, like a bad dream. Oh, how exhausted that relentless wind made me feel! Yet, despite the heavy fatigue from a sleepless night, my nerves were tingling with a restless anxiety, making any thought of rest seem impossible. The river I saw had risen even further. Its roar filled the air, and a fine spray reached me through my thin sleeping shirt.
Yet nowhere did I discover the slightest evidences of anything to cause alarm. This deep, prolonged disturbance in my heart remained wholly unaccounted for.
Yet I found no sign of anything to worry about. This deep, ongoing unease in my heart remained completely unexplained.
My companion had not stirred when I called him, and there was no need to waken him now. I looked about me carefully, noting everything: the turned-over canoe; the yellow paddles—two of them, I'm certain; the provision sack and the extra lantern hanging together from the tree; and, crowding everywhere about me, enveloping all, the willows, those endless, shaking willows. A bird uttered its morning cry, and a string of duck passed with whirring flight overhead in the twilight. The sand whirled, dry and stinging, about my bare feet in the wind.
My companion hadn’t moved when I called him, and there was no reason to wake him now. I looked around carefully, taking in everything: the overturned canoe; the yellow paddles—I'm sure there were two; the food bag and the extra lantern hanging from the tree; and everywhere around me, surrounding me, the willows, those endless, swaying willows. A bird made its morning sound, and a group of ducks flew overhead with a whirring flight in the dim light. The dry, stinging sand swirled around my bare feet in the wind.
I walked round the tent and then went out a little way into the bush, so that I could see across the river to the farther landscape, and the same profound yet indefinable emotion of distress seized upon me again as I saw the interminable sea of bushes stretching to the horizon, looking ghostly and unreal in the wan light of dawn. I walked softly here and there, still puzzling over that odd sound of infinite pattering, and of that pressure upon the tent that had wakened me. It must have been the wind, I reflected—the wind beating upon the loose, hot sand, driving the dry particles smartly against the taut canvas—the wind dropping heavily upon our fragile roof.
I walked around the tent and then stepped a bit into the bushes so I could see across the river to the distant landscape. The same deep yet hard-to-define feeling of distress came over me again as I looked at the endless sea of bushes stretching to the horizon, appearing ghostly and unreal in the pale light of dawn. I walked quietly around, still trying to figure out that strange sound of endless pattering and the pressure on the tent that had woken me up. It must have been the wind, I thought—the wind hitting the loose, hot sand, pushing the dry particles sharply against the tight canvas—the wind falling heavily on our delicate roof.
Yet all the time my nervousness and malaise increased appreciably.
Yet all the while, my anxiety and unease grew significantly.
I crossed over to the farther shore and noted how the coast line had altered in the night, and what masses of sand the river had torn away. I dipped my hands and feet into the cool current, and bathed my forehead. Already there was a glow of sunrise in the sky and the exquisite freshness of coming day. On my way back I passed purposely beneath the very bushes where I had seen the column of figures rising into the air, and midway among the clumps I suddenly found myself overtaken by a sense of vast terror. From the shadows a large figure went swiftly by. Some one passed me, as sure as ever man did....
I crossed over to the other side and noticed how the coastline had changed overnight, and what huge amounts of sand the river had washed away. I dipped my hands and feet into the cool water and splashed my forehead. There was already a hint of sunrise in the sky and the beautiful freshness of a new day. On my way back, I intentionally walked under the exact bushes where I had seen the group of figures rising into the air, and in the middle of the thickets, I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of terror. A large figure rushed past from the shadows. Someone went by me, as surely as any man ever did....
It was a great staggering blow from the wind that helped me forward again, and once out in the more open space, the sense of terror diminished strangely. The winds were about and walking, I remember saying to myself; for the winds often move like great presences under the trees. And altogether the fear that hovered about me was such an unknown and immense kind of fear, so unlike anything I had ever felt before, that it woke a sense of awe and wonder in me that did much to counteract its worst effects; and when I reached a high point in the middle of the island from which I could see the wide stretch of river, crimson in the sunrise, the whole magical beauty of it all was so overpowering that a sort of wild yearning woke in me and almost brought a cry up into the throat.
A powerful gust of wind pushed me forward, and once I was in the more open space, the feeling of terror faded oddly. The winds were swirling around, and I remember telling myself that; the winds often move like huge forces beneath the trees. Overall, the fear surrounding me was a strange and immense kind of fear, so different from anything I had ever experienced before, that it sparked a sense of awe and wonder in me, which helped lessen its most intense effects. When I reached a high point in the middle of the island where I could see the wide stretch of river, glowing red in the sunrise, the whole magical beauty of it was so overwhelming that a kind of wild longing rose in me and almost made me cry out.
But this cry found no expression, for as my eyes wandered from the plain beyond to the island round me and noted our little tent half hidden among the willows, a dreadful discovery leaped out at me, compared to which my terror of the walking winds seemed as nothing at all.
But this cry went unanswered, because as my eyes drifted from the open field to the island around me and spotted our small tent partially concealed by the willows, a horrifying realization hit me, one that made my fear of the moving winds seem trivial.
For a change, I thought, had somehow come about in the arrangement of the landscape. It was not that my point of vantage gave me a different view, but that an alteration had apparently been effected in the relation of the tent to the willows, and of the willows to the tent. Surely the bushes now crowded much closer—unnecessarily, unpleasantly close. They had moved nearer.
For a change, I thought, something had somehow shifted in the layout of the landscape. It wasn't that my perspective offered a different view, but that there seemed to be a change in how the tent related to the willows, and how the willows related to the tent. Surely the bushes were now much closer—unnecessarily, uncomfortably close. They had moved nearer.
Creeping with silent feet over the shifting sands, drawing imperceptibly nearer by soft, unhurried movements, the willows had come closer during the night. But had the wind moved them, or had they moved of themselves? I recalled the sound of infinite small patterings and the pressure upon the tent and upon my own heart that caused me to wake in terror. I swayed for a moment in the wind like a tree, finding it hard to keep my upright position on the sandy hillock. There was a suggestion here of personal agency, of deliberate intention, of aggressive hostility, and it terrified me into a sort of rigidity.
Creeping silently over the shifting sands, getting closer with soft, unhurried movements, the willows had come nearer during the night. But had the wind moved them, or did they come on their own? I remembered the sound of countless small patterings and the pressure on the tent and my own heart that jolted me awake in fear. I swayed for a moment in the wind like a tree, struggling to stay upright on the sandy hill. There was a sense of personal agency, of deliberate intention, of aggressive hostility, and it terrified me into a kind of rigidity.
Then the reaction followed quickly. The idea was so bizarre, so absurd, that I felt inclined to laugh. But the laughter came no more readily than the cry, for the knowledge that my mind was so receptive to such dangerous imaginings brought the additional terror that it was through our minds and not through our physical bodies that the attack would come, and was coming.
Then the reaction came quickly. The idea was so strange, so ridiculous, that I felt like laughing. But the laughter didn’t come any easier than the scream, because knowing that my mind was so open to such dangerous thoughts added another layer of fear: the attack would come not through our bodies but through our minds, and it was already happening.
The wind buffeted me about, and, very quickly it seemed, the sun came up over the horizon, for it was after four o'clock, and I must have stood on that little pinnacle of sand longer than I knew, afraid to come down at close quarters with the willows. I returned quietly, creepily, to the tent, first taking another exhaustive look round and—yes, I confess it—making a few measurements. I paced out on the warm sand the distances between the willows and the tent, making a note of the shortest distance particularly.
The wind pushed me around, and before I knew it, the sun rose over the horizon since it was already after four o'clock. I must have stood on that small sand peak longer than I realized, hesitant to get too close to the willows. I quietly and carefully made my way back to the tent, first taking another thorough look around and—yes, I admit it—making a few measurements. I walked along the warm sand to measure the distances between the willows and the tent, especially noting the shortest distance.
I crawled stealthily into my blankets. My companion, to all appearances, still slept soundly, and I was glad that this was so. Provided my experiences were not corroborated, I could find strength somehow to deny them, perhaps. With the daylight I could persuade myself that it was all a subjective hallucination, a fantasy of the night, a projection of the excited imagination.
I quietly slipped under my blankets. My friend, from what I could tell, was still sleeping peacefully, and I was relieved about that. As long as I didn't have to share what I'd gone through, I might be able to convince myself to ignore it, maybe. Once the sun came up, I could make myself believe that it was just a figment of my imagination, a night-time fantasy, an overactive mind at work.
Nothing further came to disturb me, and I fell asleep almost at once, utterly exhausted, yet still in dread of hearing again that weird sound of multitudinous pattering, or of feeling the pressure upon my heart that had made it difficult to breathe.
Nothing else bothered me, and I fell asleep almost immediately, completely worn out, yet still afraid of hearing that strange sound of countless footsteps again, or of feeling the pressure on my heart that had made it hard to breathe.
IV
The sun was high in the heavens when my companion woke me from a heavy sleep and announced that the porridge was cooked and there was just time to bathe. The grateful smell of frizzling bacon entered the tent door.
The sun was high in the sky when my friend woke me from a deep sleep and said that the porridge was ready and there was just enough time to take a shower. The delicious smell of sizzling bacon came in through the tent door.
"River still rising," he said, "and several islands out in midstream have disappeared altogether. Our own island's much smaller."
"River's still rising," he said, "and several islands out in the middle have completely disappeared. Our own island is a lot smaller."
"Any wood left?" I asked sleepily.
"Is there any wood left?" I asked groggily.
"The wood and the island will finish to-morrow in a dead heat," he laughed, "but there's enough to last us till then."
"The wood and the island will wrap up tomorrow in a tie," he laughed, "but there's enough to get us through until then."
I plunged in from the point of the island, which had indeed altered a lot in size and shape during the night, and was swept down in a moment to the landing place opposite the tent. The water was icy, and the banks flew by like the country from an express train. Bathing under such conditions was an exhilarating operation, and the terror of the night seemed cleansed out of me by a process of evaporation in the brain. The sun was blazing hot; not a cloud showed itself anywhere; the wind, however, had not abated one little jot.
I jumped in from the point of the island, which had really changed a lot in size and shape overnight, and I was quickly swept down to the landing spot across from the tent. The water was freezing, and the banks went past like scenery from an express train. Swimming in those conditions was an exciting experience, and the fear from the night seemed to evaporate from my mind. The sun was blazing hot; there wasn't a cloud in sight; however, the wind hadn't died down at all.
Quite suddenly then the implied meaning of the Swede's words flashed across me, showing that he no longer wished to leave posthaste, and had changed his mind. "Enough to last till to-morrow"—he assumed we should stay on the island another night. It struck me as odd. The night before he was so positive the other way. How had the change come about?
Quite suddenly, the implied meaning of the Swede's words hit me, revealing that he no longer wanted to leave right away and had changed his mind. "Enough to last until tomorrow"—he assumed we would stay on the island for another night. It seemed strange to me. The night before, he was so sure it should be the opposite. What had caused the change?
Great crumblings of the banks occurred at breakfast, with heavy splashings and clouds of spray which the wind brought into our frying-pan, and my fellow-traveler talked incessantly about the difficulty the Vienna-Pesth steamers must have to find the channel in flood. But the state of his mind interested and impressed me far more than the state of the river or the difficulties of the steamers. He had changed somehow since the evening before. His manner was different—a trifle excited, a trifle shy, with a sort of suspicion about his voice and gestures. I hardly know how to describe it now in cold blood, but at the time I remember being quite certain of one thing, viz., that he had become frightened!
Great chunks of the banks crumbled away at breakfast, sending heavy splashes and clouds of spray into our frying pan, which the wind blew in. My travel companion talked non-stop about how difficult it must be for the Vienna-Pesth steamers to find the channel during the flood. But I was much more interested in and impressed by his state of mind than the condition of the river or the challenges the steamers faced. He had changed somehow since the night before. His demeanor was different—slightly excited, slightly shy, and there was a hint of suspicion in his voice and gestures. I can’t quite put it into words now, but at the time, I was certain of one thing: he had become frightened!
He ate very little breakfast, and for once omitted to smoke his pipe. He had the map spread open beside him, and kept studying its markings.
He had a tiny breakfast and, for once, skipped smoking his pipe. The map was laid out next to him, and he kept examining its details.
"We'd better get off sharp in an hour," I said presently, feeling for an opening that must bring him indirectly to a partial confession at any rate. And his answer puzzled me uncomfortably: "Rather! If they'll let us."
"We should leave soon, in about an hour," I said after a moment, looking for a way to gently prompt him towards some kind of admission. His response left me feeling uneasy: "Definitely! If they allow us."
"Who'll let us? The elements?" I asked quickly, with affected indifference.
"Who's going to let us? The elements?" I asked quickly, pretending not to care.
"The powers of this awful place, whoever they are," he replied, keeping his eyes on the map. "The gods are here, if they are anywhere at all in the world."
"The forces of this terrible place, whoever they are," he replied, keeping his eyes on the map. "The gods are here, if they exist anywhere in the world."
"The elements are always the true immortals," I replied, laughing as naturally as I could manage, yet knowing quite well that my face reflected my true feelings when he looked up gravely at me and spoke across the smoke:
"The elements are always the real immortals," I replied, laughing as effortlessly as I could, but deep down I knew my face showed my true emotions when he looked up at me seriously and spoke through the smoke:
"We shall be fortunate if we get away without further disaster."
"We'll be lucky if we manage to get away without more trouble."
This was exactly what I had dreaded, and I screwed myself up to the point of the direct question. It was like agreeing to allow the dentist to extract the tooth; it had to come anyhow in the long run, and the rest was all pretense.
This was exactly what I had feared, and I braced myself for the direct question. It was like agreeing to let the dentist remove the tooth; it had to happen eventually, and everything else was just pretending.
"Further disaster! Why, what's happened?"
"Another disaster! What happened?"
"For one thing—the steering paddle's gone," he said quietly.
"For one thing—the steering paddle's missing," he said quietly.
"The steering paddle gone!" I repeated, greatly excited, for this was our rudder, and the Danube in flood without a rudder was suicide. "But what——"
"The steering paddle is gone!" I said again, feeling really anxious, because this was our rudder, and being on the flooded Danube without a rudder was certain disaster. "But what——"
"And there's a tear in the bottom of the canoe," he added, with a genuine little tremor in his voice.
"And there's a tear in the bottom of the canoe," he added, with a real little quiver in his voice.
I continued staring at him, able only to repeat the words in his face somewhat foolishly. There, in the heat of the sun, and on this burning sand, I was aware of a freezing atmosphere descending round us. I got up to follow him, for he merely nodded his head gravely and led the way towards the tent a few yards on the other side of the fireplace. The canoe still lay there as I had last seen her in the night, ribs uppermost, the paddles, or rather, the paddle, on the sand beside her.
I kept staring at him, only able to repeat the words in his expression a bit foolishly. There, under the hot sun and on this scorching sand, I felt a chilling atmosphere settling around us. I stood up to follow him as he simply nodded his head seriously and walked towards the tent a few yards beyond the fireplace. The canoe was still there just like I had seen it last night, with its ribs facing up and the paddle, or rather, the paddle, lying on the sand beside it.
"There's only one," he said, stooping to pick it up. "And here's the rent in the base-board."
"There's only one," he said, bending down to pick it up. "And here's the gap in the baseboard."
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I had clearly noticed two paddles a few hours before, but a second impulse made me think better of it, and I said nothing. I approached to see.
It was right on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I had clearly noticed two paddles a few hours earlier, but a second thought made me reconsider, and I kept quiet. I stepped closer to take a look.
There was a long, finely made tear in the bottom of the canoe where a little slither of wood had been neatly taken clean out; it looked as if the tooth of a sharp rock or snag had eaten down her length, and investigation showed that the hole went through. Had we launched out in her without observing it we must inevitably have foundered. At first the water would have made the wood swell so as to close the hole, but once out in midstream the water must have poured in, and the canoe, never more than two inches above the surface, would have filled and sunk very rapidly.
There was a long, clean tear at the bottom of the canoe where a small piece of wood had been neatly removed; it looked like a sharp rock or snag had worn it down along its length, and upon investigation, we found that the hole went all the way through. If we had launched it without noticing this, we definitely would have sunk. At first, the water would have made the wood swell enough to close the hole, but once we were out in the middle of the stream, the water would have rushed in, and the canoe, which was never more than two inches above the surface, would have quickly filled up and sunk.
"There, you see, an attempt to prepare a victim for the sacrifice," I heard him saying, more to himself than to me, "two victims rather," he added as he bent over and ran his fingers along the slit.
"There, you see, I'm trying to get a victim ready for the sacrifice," I heard him saying, more to himself than to me. "Two victims, actually," he added as he leaned over and glided his fingers along the slit.
I began to whistle—a thing I always do unconsciously when utterly nonplused—and purposely paid no attention to his words. I was determined to consider them foolish.
I started to whistle—something I always do without thinking when I'm completely confused—and deliberately ignored what he said. I was set on thinking of his words as silly.
"It wasn't there last night," he said presently, straightening up from his examination and looking anywhere but at me.
"It wasn't there last night," he said, sitting up from his inspection and looking anywhere but at me.
"We must have scratched her in landing, of course," I stopped whistling to say, "The stones are very sharp——"
"We must have scratched her when we landed, of course," I stopped whistling to say, "The stones are really sharp——"
I stopped abruptly, for at that moment he turned round and met my eye squarely. I knew just as well as he did how impossible my explanation was. There were no stones, to begin with.
I stopped suddenly because he turned around and looked me straight in the eye. I knew just as well as he did how impossible my explanation was. There were no stones, to start with.
"And then there's this to explain too," he added quietly, handing me the paddle and pointing to the blade.
"And then there's this to explain too," he said softly, handing me the paddle and pointing to the blade.
A new and curious emotion spread freezingly over me as I took and examined it. The blade was scraped down all over, beautifully scraped, as though someone had sand-papered it with care, making it so thin that the first vigorous stroke must have snapped it off at the elbow.
A new and strange feeling washed over me as I took a look at it. The blade was all scraped up, elegantly scraped, as if someone had carefully sandpapered it, making it so thin that the first strong movement would have broken it right at the elbow.
"One of us walked in his sleep and did this thing," I said feebly, "or—or it has been filed by the constant stream of sand particles blown against it by the wind, perhaps."
"One of us walked in his sleep and did this," I said weakly, "or maybe it has been covered by the steady flow of sand particles blown against it by the wind."
"Ah," said the Swede, turning away, laughing a little, "you can explain everything!"
"Ah," said the Swede, turning away and chuckling a bit, "you can explain everything!"
"The same wind that caught the steering paddle and flung it so near the bank that it fell in with the next lump that crumbled," I called out after him, absolutely determined to find an explanation for everything he showed me.
"The same wind that grabbed the steering paddle and tossed it so close to the shore that it fell in with the next piece that broke apart," I shouted after him, completely determined to get an explanation for everything he was showing me.
"I see," he shouted back, turning his head to look at me before disappearing among the willow bushes.
"I see," he shouted back, turning his head to look at me before vanishing into the willow bushes.
Once alone with these perplexing evidences of personal agency, I think my first thought took the form of "One of us must have done this thing, and it certainly was not I." But my second thought decided how impossible it was to suppose, under all the circumstances, that either of us had done it. That my companion, the trusted friend of a dozen similar expeditions, could have knowingly had a hand in it, was a suggestion not to be entertained for a moment. Equally absurd seemed the explanation that this imperturbable and densely practical nature had suddenly become insane and was busied with insane purposes.
Once I was alone with these confusing signs of personal involvement, my first thought was, "One of us must have done this, and I definitely didn’t." But my second thought made me realize how impossible it was to believe that either of us could have done it, given the circumstances. The idea that my companion, a trusted friend from many similar adventures, could have knowingly been involved was something I couldn’t consider for even a second. It also seemed equally ridiculous to think that this calm and practical person had suddenly gone crazy and was up to insane things.
Yet the fact remained that what disturbed me most, and kept my fear actively alive even in this blaze of sunshine and wild beauty, was the clear certainty that some curious alteration had come about in his mind—that he was nervous, timid, suspicious, aware of goings on he did not speak about, watching a series of secret and hitherto unmentionable events—waiting, in a word, for a climax that he expected, and, I thought, expected very soon. This grew up in my mind intuitively—I hardly knew how.
Yet the fact remained that what disturbed me the most, and kept my fear alive even in this bright sunshine and wild beauty, was the clear certainty that some strange change had occurred in his mind—that he was nervous, timid, suspicious, aware of things happening that he didn’t mention, keeping an eye on a series of secret and previously unspoken events—waiting, in short, for a climax that he anticipated, and, I thought, expected very soon. This idea took hold in my mind intuitively—I barely understood how.
I made a hurried examination of the tent and its surroundings, but the measurements of the night remained the same. There were deep hollows formed in the sand, I now noticed for the first time, basin-shaped and of various depths and sizes, varying from that of a teacup to a large bowl. The wind, no doubt, was responsible for these miniature craters, just as it was for lifting the paddle and tossing it towards the water. The rent in the canoe was the only thing that seemed quite inexplicable; and, after all, it was conceivable that a sharp point had caught it when we landed. The examination I made of the shore did not assist this theory, but all the same I clung to it with that diminishing portion of my intelligence which I called my "reason." An explanation of some kind was an absolute necessity, just as some working explanation of the universe is necessary—however absurd—to the happiness of every individual who seeks to do his duty in the world and face the problems of life. The simile seemed to me at the time an exact parallel.
I quickly checked out the tent and the area around it, but everything from the night still felt the same. For the first time, I noticed deep hollows in the sand, shaped like basins and varying in depth and size, from the size of a teacup to that of a large bowl. The wind was probably what created these little craters, just as it had lifted the paddle and thrown it toward the water. The tear in the canoe was the only thing that didn’t make sense; after all, it was possible that a sharp edge had snagged it when we landed. My look at the shore didn’t support this theory, but I still held onto it with the small bit of my mind I called my "reason." I needed some sort of explanation, just like everyone needs a way to understand the universe—no matter how ridiculous it seems—to find happiness while trying to do what's right and tackle life’s challenges. That comparison felt spot on to me at the time.
I at once set the pitch melting, and presently the Swede joined me at the work, though under the best conditions in the world the canoe could not be safe for traveling till the following day. I drew his attention casually to the hollows in the sand.
I quickly started melting the pitch, and soon the Swede joined me in the task, even though, under the best circumstances, the canoe wouldn’t be safe for travel until the next day. I casually pointed out the hollows in the sand to him.
"Yes," he said, "I know. They're all over the island. But you can explain them, no doubt!"
"Yeah," he said, "I know. They're everywhere on the island. But you can definitely explain them!"
"Wind, of course," I answered without hesitation. "Have you never watched those little whirlwinds in the street that twist and twirl everything into a circle? This sand's loose enough to yield, that's all."
"Wind, obviously," I replied instantly. "Haven't you ever seen those small whirlwinds in the street that spin and swirl everything around? This sand is loose enough to move, that's all."
He made no reply, and we worked on in silence for a bit. I watched him surreptitiously all the time, and I had an idea he was watching me. He seemed, too, to be always listening attentively to something I could not hear, or perhaps for something that he expected to hear, for he kept turning about and staring into the bushes, and up into the sky, and out across the water where it was visible through the openings among the willows. Sometimes he even put his hand to his ear and held it there for several minutes. He said nothing to me, however, about it, and I asked no questions. And meanwhile, as he mended that torn canoe with the skill and address of a red Indian, I was glad to notice his absorption in the work, for there was a vague dread in my heart that he would speak of the changed aspect of the willows. And, if he had noticed that, my imagination could no longer be held a sufficient explanation of it.
He didn’t say anything, and we worked in silence for a while. I kept an eye on him secretly, and I had a feeling he was watching me too. He always seemed to be listening closely to something I couldn’t hear, or maybe waiting for something he expected to hear. He kept turning around, staring into the bushes, looking up at the sky, and gazing out across the water where it peeked through the gaps in the willows. Sometimes, he even put his hand to his ear and kept it there for several minutes. He didn’t mention anything about it to me, and I didn’t ask any questions. Meanwhile, as he skillfully fixed that torn canoe like a Native American, I was relieved to see how focused he was on the task. I felt a vague sense of dread in my heart that he might bring up the altered appearance of the willows. If he had noticed that, my imagination could no longer serve as a good enough explanation.
At length, after a long pause, he began to talk.
At last, after a long pause, he started to speak.
"Queer thing," he added in a hurried sort of voice, as though he wanted to say something and get it over. "Queer thing, I mean, about that otter last night."
"Strange thing," he added in a rush, as if he wanted to say something and move on. "Strange thing, I mean, about that otter last night."
I had expected something so totally different that he caught me with surprise, and I looked up sharply.
I was expecting something completely different, so he took me by surprise, and I looked up abruptly.
"Shows how lonely this place is. Otters are awfully shy things—"
"Shows how lonely this place is. Otters are really shy creatures—"
"I don't mean that, of course," he interrupted. "I mean—do you think—did you think it really was an otter?"
"I don't mean that, of course," he interrupted. "I mean—do you think—did you actually think it was really an otter?"
"What else, in the name of Heaven, what else?"
"What else, for heaven's sake, what else?"
"You know, I saw it before you did, and at first it seemed—so much bigger than an otter."
"You know, I saw it before you did, and at first it seemed—so much bigger than an otter."
"The sunset as you looked upstream magnified it, or something," I replied.
"The sunset, when you looked upstream, made it seem bigger, or something," I replied.
He looked at me absently a moment, as though his mind were busy with other thoughts.
He glanced at me distractedly for a moment, as if his mind was occupied with other things.
"It had such extraordinary yellow eyes," he went on half to himself.
"It had such amazing yellow eyes," he continued, mostly to himself.
"That was the sun too," I laughed, a trifle boisterously. "I suppose you'll wonder next if that fellow in the boat——"
"That was the sun too," I laughed, a little too loudly. "I guess you'll be wondering next if that guy in the boat——"
I suddenly decided not to finish the sentence. He was in the act again of listening, turning his head to the wind, and something in the expression of his face made me halt. The subject dropped, and we went on with our caulking. Apparently he had not noticed my unfinished sentence. Five minutes later, however, he looked at me across the canoe, the smoking pitch in his hand, his face exceedingly grave.
I suddenly decided not to finish my sentence. He was once again listening, turning his head to the wind, and something in his expression made me stop. The topic was dropped, and we continued with our work. It seemed he hadn't noticed my incomplete sentence. Five minutes later, though, he looked at me across the canoe, the smoking pitch in his hand, his face very serious.
"I did rather wonder, if you want to know," he said slowly, "what that thing in the boat was. I remember thinking at the time it was not a man. The whole business seemed to rise quite suddenly out of the water."
"I did wonder, if you want to know," he said slowly, "what that thing in the boat was. I remember thinking at the time it wasn't a man. The whole thing seemed to come out of the water really suddenly."
I laughed again boisterously in his face, but this time there was impatience and a strain of anger too, in my feeling.
I laughed loudly in his face again, but this time there was impatience and a hint of anger in my feelings.
"Look here now," I cried, "this place is quite queer enough without going out of our way to imagine things! That boat was an ordinary boat, and the man in it was an ordinary man, and they were both going downstream as fast as they could lick. And that otter was an otter, so don't let's play the fool about it!"
"Listen up," I exclaimed, "this place is strange enough without trying to invent things! That boat was just a regular boat, and the guy in it was just a regular guy, and they were both moving downstream as fast as they could go. And that otter was an otter, so let’s not act silly about it!"
He looked steadily at me with the same grave expression. He was not in the least annoyed. I took courage from his silence.
He stared at me with the same serious expression. He wasn’t annoyed at all. I felt braver because of his quietness.
"And for heaven's sake," I went on, "don't keep pretending you hear things, because it only gives me the jumps, and there's nothing to hear but the river and this cursed old thundering wind."
"And for goodness' sake," I continued, "stop pretending you hear things, because it just freaks me out, and there’s nothing to hear except the river and this annoying old howling wind."
"You fool!" he answered in a low, shocked voice, "you utter fool. That's just the way all victims talk. As if you didn't understand just as well as I do!" he sneered with scorn in his voice, and a sort of resignation. "The best thing you can do is to keep quiet and try to hold your mind as firm as possible. This feeble attempt at self-deception only makes the truth harder when you're forced to meet it."
"You fool!" he replied in a quiet, startled tone, "you complete fool. That's exactly how all victims sound. As if you don't understand just as well as I do!" he mocked with disdain in his voice, and a hint of acceptance. "The best thing you can do is stay quiet and try to keep your mind as steady as possible. This weak attempt at fooling yourself only makes the truth harder to face when you eventually have to."
My little effort was over, and I found nothing more to say, for I knew quite well his words were true, and that I was the fool, not he. Up to a certain stage in the adventure he kept ahead of me easily, and I think I felt annoyed to be out of it, to be thus proved less psychic, less sensitive than himself to these extraordinary happenings, and half ignorant all the time of what was going on under my very nose. He knew from the very beginning, apparently. But at the moment I wholly missed the point of his words about the necessity of there being a victim, and that we ourselves were destined to satisfy the want. I dropped all pretense thenceforward, but thenceforward likewise my fear increased steadily to the climax.
My small effort was done, and I had nothing more to say, because I knew deep down that his words were true and that I was the fool, not him. Up to a certain point in the adventure, he easily stayed ahead of me, and I think I felt frustrated to be left out, to realize that I was less perceptive and less aware than he was about these strange events, and I was mostly in the dark about what was happening right in front of me. He had apparently known from the very start. But at that moment, I completely missed the meaning of his words about the need for a victim and that we were the ones meant to fulfill that role. From then on, I dropped all pretense, but my fear also grew steadily toward a peak.
"But you're quite right about one thing," he added, before the subject passed, "and that is that we're wiser not to talk about it, or even to think about it, because what one thinks finds expression in words, and what one says, happens."
"But you're absolutely right about one thing," he added, before the topic shifted, "and that is that it’s smarter not to discuss it, or even dwell on it, because what you think comes out in words, and what you say tends to happen."
That afternoon, while the canoe dried and hardened, we spent trying to fish, testing the leak, collecting wood, and watching the enormous flood of rising water. Masses of driftwood swept near our shores sometimes, and we fished for them with long willow branches. The island grew perceptibly smaller as the banks were torn away with great gulps and splashes. The weather kept brilliantly fine till about four o'clock, and then for the first time for three days the wind showed signs of abating. Clouds began to gather in the southwest, spreading thence slowly over the sky.
That afternoon, while the canoe dried and set, we spent our time fishing, checking the leak, gathering wood, and watching the massive surge of rising water. Large pieces of driftwood sometimes flowed close to our shores, and we fished for them with long willow branches. The island noticeably shrank as the banks eroded with big gulps and splashes. The weather stayed beautifully clear until around four o’clock, and for the first time in three days, the wind began to calm down. Clouds started to gather in the southwest, slowly spreading across the sky.
This lessening of the wind came as a great relief, for the incessant roaring, banging, and thundering had irritated our nerves. Yet the silence that came about five o'clock with its sudden cessation was in a manner quite as oppressive. The booming of the river had everything its own way then: it filled the air with deep murmurs, more musical than the wind noises, but infinitely more monotonous. The wind held many notes, rising, falling, always beating out some sort of great elemental tune; whereas the river's song lay between three notes at most—dull pedal notes, that held a lugubrious quality foreign to the wind, and somehow seemed to me, in my then nervous state, to sound wonderfully well the music of doom.
The calming of the wind brought a huge sense of relief, as the nonstop roaring, banging, and thundering had been getting on our nerves. However, the silence that arrived around five o'clock, with its abrupt stopping, felt just as heavy in a different way. The river’s booming then had everything to itself: it filled the air with deep murmurs, more harmonious than the noises of the wind but much more monotone. The wind carried a variety of notes, rising and falling, always creating some sort of powerful elemental melody; while the river's song sat between just three notes at most—dull pedal notes that had a mournful quality unlike the wind and somehow seemed to me, in my anxious state, to sound eerily like the music of doom.
It was extraordinary, too, how the withdrawal suddenly of bright sunlight took everything out of the landscape that made for cheerfulness; and since this particular landscape had already managed to convey the suggestion of something sinister, the change of course was all the more unwelcome and noticeable. For me, I know, the darkening outlook became distinctly more alarming, and I found myself more than once calculating how soon after sunset the full moon would get up in the east, and whether the gathering clouds would greatly interfere with her lighting of the little island.
It was amazing how the sudden absence of bright sunlight drained all the cheerfulness from the landscape. Since this particular setting already hinted at something ominous, the change was even more unwelcome and noticeable. For me, the darkening sky felt increasingly frightening, and I caught myself more than once figuring out how soon after sunset the full moon would rise in the east and whether the clouds would significantly block her light from shining on the small island.
With this general hush of the wind—though it still indulged in occasional brief gusts—the river seemed to me to grow blacker, the willows to stand more densely together. The latter, too, kept up a sort of independent movement of their own, rustling among themselves when no wind stirred, and shaking oddly from the roots upwards. When common objects in this way become charged with the suggestion of horror, they stimulate the imagination far more than things of unusual appearance; and these bushes, crowding huddled about us, assumed for me in the darkness a bizarre grotesquerie of appearance that lent to them somehow the aspect of purposeful and living creatures. Their very ordinariness, I felt, masked what was malignant and hostile to us. The forces of the region drew nearer with the coming of night. They were focusing upon our island, and more particularly upon ourselves. For thus, somehow, in the terms of the imagination, did my really indescribable sensations in this extraordinary place present themselves.
With the general calm of the wind—though it still had occasional brief gusts—the river seemed to darken, and the willows appeared to cluster together more tightly. The willows also moved independently, rustling among themselves even when there was no breeze, shaking oddly from their roots upwards. When ordinary objects take on an air of horror, they can stir the imagination more than things that look unusual; these bushes, huddled around us in the darkness, took on a bizarre grotesqueness that made them seem like purposeful, living beings. Their very normality, I sensed, hid something malignant and hostile towards us. The forces of the area drew closer as night fell, zeroing in on our island and, more specifically, on us. Thus, in the realm of imagination, my truly indescribable feelings in this strange place presented themselves.
I had slept a good deal in the early afternoon, and had thus recovered somewhat from the exhaustion of a disturbed night, but this only served apparently to render me more susceptible than before to the obsessing spell of the haunting. I fought against it, laughing at my feelings as absurd and childish, with very obvious physiological explanations, yet, in spite of every effort, they gained in strength upon me so that I dreaded the night as a child lost in a forest must dread the approach of darkness.
I had slept a lot in the early afternoon, which helped me recover a bit from the exhaustion of a restless night, but that only seemed to make me more vulnerable to the unsettling influence of the haunting. I tried to resist it, laughing at my feelings as ridiculous and immature, believing there were clear physical reasons behind them, yet, despite my every effort, those feelings grew stronger, causing me to fear the night like a lost child dreads the darkness approaching in a forest.
The canoe we had carefully covered with a waterproof sheet during the day, and the one remaining paddle had been securely tied by the Swede to the base of a tree, lest the wind should rob us of that too. From five o'clock onwards I busied myself with the stew-pot and preparations for dinner, it being my turn to cook that night. We had potatoes, onions, bits of bacon fat to add flavour, and a general thick residue from former stews at the bottom of the pot; with black bread broken up into it the result was most excellent, and it was followed by a stew of plums with sugar and a brew of strong tea with dried milk. A good pile of wood lay close at hand, and the absence of wind made my duties easy. My companion sat lazily watching me, dividing his attentions between cleaning his pipe and giving useless advice—an admitted privilege of the off-duty man. He had been very quiet all the afternoon, engaged in re-caulking the canoe, strengthening the tent ropes, and fishing for driftwood while I slept. No more talk about undesirable things had passed between us, and I think his only remarks had to do with the gradual destruction of the island, which he declared was now fully a third smaller than when we first landed.
We carefully covered the canoe with a waterproof sheet during the day, and the last paddle had been securely tied by the Swede to the base of a tree, just in case the wind decided to take that too. After five o'clock, I kept myself busy with the stew pot and getting dinner ready since it was my turn to cook that night. We had potatoes, onions, some bacon fat for flavor, and a thick residue from previous stews at the bottom of the pot; adding in some broken black bread made it really tasty, and we followed that with a plum stew sweetened with sugar and a strong brew of tea with dried milk. A good pile of firewood was nearby, and with no wind, my cooking duties were pretty easy. My companion sat back and watched me, splitting his attention between cleaning his pipe and giving pointless advice—an acknowledged perk of being off-duty. He had been pretty quiet all afternoon, busy re-caulking the canoe, strengthening the tent ropes, and fishing for driftwood while I napped. We had stopped talking about unpleasant topics, and I think his only comments were about the gradual erosion of the island, which he said was now about a third smaller than when we first arrived.
The pot had just begun to bubble when I heard his voice calling to me from the bank, where he had wandered away without my noticing. I ran up.
The pot had just started to bubble when I heard him calling to me from the bank, where he had wandered off without me noticing. I ran up.
"Come and listen," he said, "and see what you make of it." He held his hand cupwise to his ear, as so often before.
"Come and listen," he said, "and see what you think of it." He cupped his hand to his ear, just like he often did.
"Now do you hear anything?" he asked, watching me curiously.
"Now do you hear anything?" he asked, watching me curiously.
We stood there, listening attentively together. At first I heard only the deep note of the water and the hissings rising from its turbulent surface. The willows, for once, were motionless and silent. Then a sound began to reach my ears faintly, a peculiar sound—something like the humming of a distant gong. It seemed to come across to us in the darkness from the waste of swamps and willows opposite. It was repeated at regular intervals, but it was certainly neither the sound of a bell nor the hooting of a distant steamer. I can liken it to nothing so much as to the sound of an immense gong, suspended far up in the sky, repeating incessantly its muffled metallic note, soft and musical, as it was repeatedly struck. My heart quickened as I listened.
We stood there, listening closely together. At first, I could only hear the deep sound of the water and the hissing rising from its choppy surface. The willows were still and quiet for once. Then, a sound started to reach my ears softly, a strange sound—something like the humming of a distant gong. It seemed to drift toward us from the dark swamp and willows on the other side. It repeated at regular intervals, but it was definitely neither the sound of a bell nor the hooting of a distant steamer. I could compare it to nothing so much as the sound of a huge gong, hanging far up in the sky, continuously echoing its muffled metallic note, soft and musical, as it was struck again and again. My heart raced as I listened.
"I've heard it all day," said my companion. "While you slept this afternoon it came all round the island. I hunted it down, but could never get near enough to see—to localize it correctly. Sometimes it was overhead, and sometimes it seemed under the water. Once or twice, too, I could have sworn it was not outside at all, but within myself—you know—the way a sound in the fourth dimension is supposed to come."
"I've heard it all day," my friend said. "While you were sleeping this afternoon, it went all around the island. I tried to track it down, but I could never get close enough to really see it or figure out where it was. Sometimes it was above me, and other times it felt like it was underwater. A couple of times, I could have sworn it wasn't outside at all, but inside me—you know—the way a sound from the fourth dimension is said to be."
I was too much puzzled to pay much attention to his words. I listened carefully, striving to associate it with any known familiar sound I could think of, but without success. It changed in direction, too, coming nearer, and then sinking utterly away into remote distance. I cannot say that it was ominous in quality, because to me it seemed distinctly musical, yet I must admit it set going a distressing feeling that made me wish I had never heard it.
I was too confused to really focus on what he was saying. I listened intently, trying to connect it with any familiar sound I could think of, but I couldn’t. It changed direction, getting closer, and then faded completely into the distance. I can’t say it felt threatening because, to me, it sounded pretty melodic, but I have to admit it stirred up an unsettling feeling that made me wish I had never heard it.
"The wind blowing in those sand-funnels," I said, determined to find an explanation, "or the bushes rubbing together after the storm perhaps."
"The wind blowing in those sand funnels," I said, determined to find an explanation, "or the bushes rubbing together after the storm, maybe."
"It comes off the whole swamp," my friend answered. "It comes from everywhere at once." He ignored my explanations. "It comes from the willow bushes somehow——"
"It comes from the whole swamp," my friend replied. "It comes from everywhere at once." He brushed off my explanations. "It comes from the willow bushes somehow——"
"But now the wind has dropped," I objected "The willows can hardly make a noise by themselves, can they?"
"But now the wind has stopped," I said. "The willows can hardly make any noise on their own, right?"
His answer frightened me, first because I had dreaded it, and secondly, because I knew intuitively it was true.
His answer scared me, first because I had been dreading it, and secondly, because I knew deep down it was true.
"It is because the wind has dropped we now hear it. It was drowned before. It is the cry, I believe of the——"
"It’s because the wind has died down that we hear it now. It was muffled before. I think it’s the cry of the—"
I dashed back to my fire, warned by a sound of bubbling that the stew was in danger, but determined at the same time to escape from further conversation. I was resolute, if possible, to avoid the exchanging of views. I dreaded, too, that he would begin again about the gods, or the elemental forces, or something else disquieting, and I wanted to keep myself well in hand for what might happen later. There was another night to be faced before we escaped from this distressing place, and there was no knowing yet what it might bring forth.
I rushed back to my fire, alerted by the bubbling sound that the stew was in trouble, but I was also determined to avoid any more conversation. I was set on avoiding an exchange of opinions. I also feared he would start again about the gods, the elemental forces, or some other unsettling topic, and I wanted to stay composed for what might happen later. We had another night to face before getting out of this difficult situation, and it was hard to tell what it might bring.
"Come and cut up bread for the pot," I called to him, vigorously stirring the appetizing mixture. That stew-pot held sanity for us both, and the thought made me laugh.
"Come and slice the bread for the pot," I called to him, vigorously stirring the delicious mixture. That stew pot held our sanity, and the thought made me laugh.
He came over slowly and took the provision sack from the tree, fumbling in its mysterious depths, and then emptying the entire contents upon the ground-sheet at his feet.
He walked over slowly and grabbed the supply bag from the tree, rummaging through its mysterious depths, and then dumped all the contents onto the groundsheet at his feet.
"Hurry up!" I cried; "it's boiling."
"Hurry up!" I shouted; "it's boiling."
The Swede burst out into a roar of laughter that startled me. It was forced laughter, not artificial exactly, but mirthless.
The Swede let out a loud laugh that took me by surprise. It was forced laughter, not completely fake, but lacking any real joy.
"There's nothing here!" he shouted, holding his sides.
"There's nothing here!" he yelled, clutching his sides.
"Bread, I mean."
"Bread, you know."
"It's gone. There is no bread. They've taken it!"
"It's gone. There's no bread. They took it!"
I dropped the long spoon and ran up. Everything the sack had contained lay upon the ground-sheet, but there was no loaf.
I dropped the long spoon and ran up. Everything the bag had contained was spread out on the ground sheet, but there was no loaf.
The whole dead weight of my growing fear fell upon me and shook me. Then I burst out laughing too. It was the only thing to do: and the sound of my own laughter also made me understand his. The strain of psychical pressure caused it—this explosion of unnatural laughter in both of us; it was an effort of repressed forces to seek relief; it was a temporary safety valve. And with both of us it ceased quite suddenly.
The full burden of my increasing fear hit me hard and shook me. Then I started laughing too. It was the only thing I could do, and the sound of my own laughter helped me understand his. The mental strain triggered it—this outburst of unnatural laughter in both of us; it was a way for our repressed emotions to find relief; it was a temporary escape. Then, just as suddenly, it stopped for both of us.
"How criminally stupid of me!" I cried, still determined to be consistent and find an explanation. "I clean forgot to buy a loaf at Pressburg. That chattering woman put everything out of my head, and I must have left it lying on the counter or——"
"How ridiculously stupid of me!" I exclaimed, still wanting to stay consistent and figure out what happened. "I completely forgot to pick up a loaf at Pressburg. That talkative woman distracted me, and I must have left it sitting on the counter or——"
"The oatmeal, too, is much less than it was this morning," the Swede interrupted.
"The oatmeal is way less than it was this morning," the Swede interrupted.
Why in the world need he draw attention to it? I thought angrily.
Why on earth does he need to bring attention to it? I thought, angry.
"There's enough for to-morrow," I said, stirring vigorously, "and we can get lots more at Komorn or Gran. In twenty-four hours we shall be miles from here."
"There's enough for tomorrow," I said, stirring strongly, "and we can get plenty more in Komorn or Gran. In twenty-four hours, we'll be miles away from here."
"I hope so—to God," he muttered, putting the things back into the sack, "unless we're claimed first as victims for the sacrifice," he added with a foolish laugh. He dragged the sack into the tent, for safety's sake, I suppose, and I heard him mumbling on to himself, but so indistinctly that it seemed quite natural for me to ignore his words.
"I hope so—God willing," he muttered, putting things back into the sack. "Unless we get picked first as victims for the sacrifice," he added with a silly laugh. He dragged the sack into the tent, probably for safety, and I heard him mumbling to himself, but it was so unclear that it felt completely normal for me to ignore what he was saying.
Our meal was beyond question a gloomy one, and we ate it almost in silence, avoiding one another's eyes, and keeping the fire bright. Then we washed up and prepared for the night, and, once smoking, our minds unoccupied with any definite duties, the apprehension I had felt all day long became more and more acute. It was not then active fear, I think, but the very vagueness of its origin distressed me far more than if I had been able to ticket and face it squarely. The curious sound I have likened to the note of a gong became now almost incessant, and filled the stillness of the night with a faint, continuous ringing rather than a series of distinct notes. At one time it was behind and at another time in front of us. Sometimes I fancied it came from the bushes on our left, and then again from the clumps on our right. More often it hovered directly overhead like the whirring of wings. It was really everywhere at once, behind, in front, at our sides and over our heads, completely surrounding us. The sound really defies description. But nothing within my knowledge is like that ceaseless muffled humming rising off the deserted world of swamps and willows.
Our meal was undeniably gloomy, and we ate it almost in silence, avoiding each other’s eyes while keeping the fire bright. After we cleaned up and got ready for the night, and once we started smoking, my mind, free from any specific tasks, made the anxiety I had felt all day intensify. It wasn’t exactly active fear, I think, but the sheer uncertainty of its source bothered me much more than if I had been able to identify and confront it directly. The strange sound I compared to a gong was now almost constant, filling the stillness of the night with a faint, continuous ringing rather than a series of distinct notes. At times it seemed to come from behind us, and at other times from in front. Sometimes I thought it came from the bushes on our left, and then again from the thickets on our right. More often it hovered directly above us like the sound of flapping wings. It truly felt like it was everywhere at once—behind us, in front, at our sides, and above our heads, completely surrounding us. The sound really defies description. But nothing I know compares to that unending muffled hum rising from the abandoned world of swamps and willows.
We sat smoking in comparative silence, the strain growing every minute greater. The worst feature of the situation seemed to me that we did not know what to expect, and could therefore make no sort of preparation by way of defense. We could anticipate nothing. My explanations made in the sunshine, moreover, now came to haunt me with their foolish and wholly unsatisfactory nature, and it was more and more clear to me that some kind of plain talk with my companion was inevitable, whether I liked it or not. After all, we had to spend the night together, and to sleep in the same tent side by side. I saw that I could not get along much longer without the support of his mind, and for that, of course, plain talk was imperative. As long as possible, however, I postponed this little climax, and tried to ignore or laugh at the occasional sentences he flung into the emptiness.
We sat smoking in relative silence, the tension growing stronger by the minute. The worst part of the situation was that we didn’t know what to expect, so we couldn’t prepare any kind of defense. We could anticipate nothing. My earlier explanations, made in the sunlight, now haunted me with their absurd and completely unsatisfactory nature, and it became increasingly clear to me that a straightforward conversation with my companion was unavoidable, whether I wanted it or not. After all, we had to spend the night together and sleep in the same tent side by side. I realized I couldn’t go much longer without his support, and for that, honest communication was necessary. However, as long as I could, I put off this little confrontation and tried to ignore or laugh off the occasional comments he tossed into the silence.
Some of these sentences, moreover, were confoundedly disquieting to me, coming as they did to corroborate much that I felt myself: corroboration, too—which made it so much more convincing—from a totally different point of view. He composed such curious sentences, and hurled them at me in such an inconsequential sort of way, as though his main line of thought was secret to himself, and these fragments were the bits he found it impossible to digest. He got rid of them by uttering them. Speech relieved him. It was like being sick.
Some of these sentences were really unsettling to me, especially since they supported a lot of what I felt myself: validation, too—which made it even more persuasive—from a completely different perspective. He crafted such interesting sentences and tossed them at me in such a casual manner, as if his main line of thought was hidden from himself, and these fragments were the pieces he couldn’t quite process. He released them by saying them out loud. Speaking helped him. It was like being unwell.
"There are things about us, I'm sure, that make for disorder, disintegration, destruction, our destruction," he said once, while the fire blazed between us. "We've strayed out of a safe line somewhere."
"There are things about us, I'm sure, that lead to chaos, breakdown, destruction, our destruction," he said once, while the fire blazed between us. "We've crossed a line somewhere that's no longer safe."
And another time, when the gong sounds had come nearer, ringing much louder than before, and directly over our heads, he said, as though talking to himself:
And another time, when the gong sounds got closer, ringing much louder than before, and right above us, he said, almost like he was talking to himself:
"I don't think a phonograph would show any record of that. The sound doesn't come to me by the ears at all. The vibrations reach me in another manner altogether, and seem to be within me, which is precisely how a fourth dimension sound might be supposed to make itself heard."
"I don't think a phonograph would pick up that sound. The noise doesn't come to me through my ears at all. The vibrations hit me in a completely different way and feel like they're inside me, which is exactly how you might expect a sound from a fourth dimension to be heard."
I purposely made no reply to this, but I sat up a little closer to the fire and peered about me into the darkness. The clouds were massed all over the sky and no trace of moonlight came through. Very still, too, everything was, so that the river and the frogs had things all their own way.
I intentionally said nothing in response to this, but I sat up a bit closer to the fire and looked around into the darkness. The clouds were piled everywhere in the sky, and no hint of moonlight came through. Everything was very quiet, allowing the river and the frogs to have things completely to themselves.
"It has that about it," he went on, "which is utterly out of common experience. It is unknown. Only one thing describes it really: it is a non-human sound; I mean a sound outside humanity."
"It has something about it," he continued, "that is completely outside of common experience. It is unknown. Only one thing really describes it: it’s a non-human sound; I mean a sound beyond humanity."
Having rid himself of this indigestible morsel, he lay quiet for a time; but he had so admirably expressed my own feeling that it was a relief to have the thought out, and to have confined it by the limitation of words from dangerous wandering to and fro in the mind.
Having gotten rid of this difficult thought, he lay still for a while; but he had captured my own feelings so perfectly that it was a relief to have that thought out in the open, contained by words to prevent it from wandering aimlessly in my mind.
The solitude of that Danube camping-place, can I ever forget it? The feeling of being utterly alone on an empty planet! My thoughts ran incessantly upon cities and the haunts of men. I would have given my soul, as the saying is, for the "feel" of those Bavarian villages we had passed through by the score; for the normal, human commonplaces, peasants drinking beer, tables beneath the trees, hot sunshine, and a ruined castle on the rocks behind the red-roofed church. Even the tourists would have been welcome.
Can I ever forget the isolation of that camping spot by the Danube? The sensation of being completely alone on a deserted planet! My mind constantly drifted to cities and the places where people gather. I would have given just about anything for the atmosphere of those Bavarian villages we had passed through in droves; for the simple, everyday scenes of peasants enjoying beer, tables placed under trees, warm sunshine, and a crumbling castle on the rocks behind the red-roofed church. Even the tourists would have been a welcome sight.
Yet what I felt of dread was no ordinary ghostly fear. It was infinitely greater, stranger, and seemed to arise from some dim ancestral sense of terror more profoundly disturbing than anything I had known or dreamed of. We had "strayed," as the Swede put it, into some region or some set of conditions where the risks were great, yet unintelligible to us; where the frontiers of some unknown world lay close about us. It was a spot held by the dwellers in some outer space, a sort of peephole whence they could spy upon the earth, themselves unseen, a point where the veil between had worn a little thin. As the final result of too long a sojourn here, we should be carried over the border and deprived of what we called "our lives," yet by mental, not physical, processes. In that sense, as he said, we should be the victims of our adventure—a sacrifice.
But what I felt was no ordinary fear. It was much greater and stranger, seeming to come from some deep, ancestral sense of terror that was more unsettling than anything I had experienced or imagined. We had "strayed," as the Swede put it, into a place or situation where the dangers were significant, yet completely beyond our understanding; where the boundaries of some unknown world were close around us. It was a location held by beings from another realm, like a peep hole through which they could watch the earth, themselves unseen, a point where the barrier between worlds had worn a bit thin. As a result of staying here too long, we would be taken over the border and lose what we considered "our lives," but through mental, not physical, means. In that regard, as he said, we would become victims of our adventure—a sacrifice.
It took us in different fashion, each according to the measure of his sensitiveness and powers of resistance. I translated it vaguely into a personification of the mightily disturbed elements, investing them with the horror of a deliberate and malefic purpose, resentful of our audacious intrusion into their breeding-place; whereas my friend threw it into the unoriginal form at first of a trespass on some ancient shrine, some place where the old gods still held sway, where the emotional forces of former worshipers still clung, and the ancestral portion of him yielded to the old pagan spell.
It affected each of us differently, depending on our sensitivity and ability to cope. I vaguely interpreted it as a personification of the intensely disturbed elements, giving them the terrifying intention of a deliberate and malicious purpose, angry at our bold intrusion into their sanctuary; while my friend initially saw it as a trespass on some ancient shrine, a place where the old gods still had power, where the emotional energy of past worshipers lingered, and his ancestral ties succumbed to the old pagan influence.
At any rate, here was a place unpolluted by men, kept clean by the winds from coarsening human influences, a place where spiritual agencies were within reach and aggressive. Never, before or since, have I been so attacked by indescribable suggestions of a "beyond region," of another scheme of life, another evolution not parallel to the human. And in the end our minds would succumb under the weight of the awful spell, and we should be drawn across the frontier into their world.
At any rate, this was a spot untouched by people, kept clean by the winds from rough human influences, a place where spiritual forces were close and intense. Never, before or since, have I been so confronted by indescribable hints of a "beyond region," of a different way of life, another evolution that isn’t parallel to humanity. Ultimately, our minds would give in to the weight of the terrifying spell, and we would be pulled across the boundary into their world.
Small things testified to this amazing influence of the place, and now in the silence round the fire they allowed themselves to be noted by the mind. The very atmosphere had proved itself a magnifying medium to distort every indication: the otter rolling in the current, the hurrying boatman making signs, the shifting willows, one and all had been robbed of its natural character, and revealed in something of its other aspect—as it existed across the border in that other region. And this changed aspect I felt was new not merely to me, but to the race. The whole experience whose verge we touched was unknown to humanity at all. It was a new order of experience, and in the true sense of the word unearthly.
Small things highlighted the incredible influence of the place, and now in the silence around the fire, they let themselves be acknowledged by the mind. The very atmosphere had acted as a magnifying lens, distorting every detail: the otter rolling in the current, the hurried boatman signaling, the swaying willows—all had lost their natural character and revealed an entirely different aspect, as they existed across the border in that other region. And this altered appearance felt new not just to me, but to humanity. The entire experience we were on the edge of was unknown to people at all. It was a new kind of experience, and in the true sense of the word unearthly.
"It's the deliberate, calculating purpose that reduces one's courage to zero," the Swede said suddenly, as if he had been actually following my thoughts. "Otherwise imagination might count for much. But the paddle, the canoe, the lessening food——"
"It's the intentional, strategic aim that totally drains your courage," the Swede said out of the blue, as if he had been truly following my thoughts. "Otherwise, imagination could really matter. But the paddle, the canoe, the dwindling food——"
"Haven't I explained all that once?" I interrupted viciously.
"Haven't I explained all of that already?" I cut in sharply.
"You have," he answered dryly; "you have indeed."
"You have," he replied flatly; "you really do."
He made other remarks too, as usual, about what he called the "plain determination to provide a victim"; but, having now arranged my thoughts better, I recognized that this was simply the cry of his frightened soul against the knowledge that he was being attacked in a vital part, and that he would be somehow taken or destroyed. The situation called for a courage and calmness of reasoning that neither of us could compass, and I have never before been so clearly conscious of two persons in me—the one that explained everything, and the other that laughed at such foolish explanations, yet was horribly afraid.
He made other comments too, as he always did, about what he called the "simple need to find a scapegoat"; but as I organized my thoughts better, I realized this was just the desperate plea of his scared self against the realization that he was being attacked at his core, and that he would be somehow caught or destroyed. The situation required a bravery and clear thinking that neither of us could muster, and I had never been so aware of two sides within me—the one that rationalized everything, and the other that mocked such silly justifications, yet was deeply terrified.
Meanwhile, in the pitchy night the fire died down and the woodpile grew small. Neither of us moved to replenish the stock, and the darkness consequently came up very close to our faces. A few feet beyond the circle of firelight it was inky black. Occasionally a stray puff of wind set the billows shivering about us, but apart from this not very welcome sound a deep and depressing silence reigned, broken only by the gurgling of the river and the humming in the air overhead.
Meanwhile, in the dark night, the fire burned low, and the woodpile got smaller. Neither of us made a move to add more, so the darkness crept in closer to our faces. Just a few feet beyond the circle of light, it was pitch black. Every now and then, a gust of wind made the flames dance around us, but aside from that unwelcome noise, a deep and heavy silence surrounded us, interrupted only by the gurgling of the river and the hum in the air above.
We both missed, I think, the shouting company of the winds.
We both missed, I think, the noisy presence of the winds.
At length, at a moment when a stray puff prolonged itself as though the wind were about to rise again, I reached the point for me of saturation, the point where it was absolutely necessary to find relief in plain speech, or else to betray myself by some hysterical extravagance that must have been far worse in its effect upon both of us. I kicked the fire into a blaze, and turned to my companion abruptly. He looked up with a start.
At last, at a moment when a random gust lingered as if the wind was about to pick up again, I reached my limit, the point where I absolutely needed to express myself clearly, or else risk revealing my emotions in a dramatic way that would have been much worse for both of us. I stirred the fire into a blaze and turned to my companion abruptly. He looked up, startled.
"I can't disguise it any longer," I said; "I don't like this place, and the darkness, and the noises, and the awful feelings I get. There's something here that beats me utterly. I'm in a blue funk, and that's the plain truth. If the other shore was—different, I swear I'd be inclined to swim for it!"
"I can't hide it anymore," I said; "I don't like this place, the darkness, the noises, or the terrible feelings I get. There's something here that really gets to me. I'm feeling totally down, and that's the honest truth. If the other side was—better, I swear I'd be tempted to swim over!"
The Swede's face turned very white beneath the deep tan of sun and wind. He stared straight at me and answered quietly, but his voice betrayed his huge excitement by its unnatural calmness. For the moment, at any rate, he was the strong man of the two. He was more phlegmatic, for one thing.
The Swede's face went pale under the deep tan from the sun and wind. He looked directly at me and responded softly, but his voice revealed his intense excitement through its unusual calmness. For now, at least, he was the stronger of the two. He was more composed, for one thing.
"It's not a physical condition we can escape from by running away," he replied, in the tone of a doctor diagnosing some grave disease; "we must sit tight and wait. There are forces close here that could kill a herd of elephants in a second as easily as you or I could squash a fly. Our only chance is to keep perfectly still. Our insignificance perhaps may save us."
"It's not something we can get away from by running," he said, sounding like a doctor diagnosing a serious illness; "we need to stay put and wait. There are forces nearby that could wipe out a herd of elephants in an instant, just like you or I could squish a fly. Our only hope is to remain completely still. Maybe our insignificance will save us."
I put a dozen questions into my expression of face, but found no words. It was precisely like listening to an accurate description of a disease whose symptoms had puzzled me.
I had a dozen questions on my face, but no words came out. It felt exactly like listening to a perfect description of an illness whose symptoms had confused me.
"I mean that so far, although aware of our disturbing presence, they have not found us—not 'located' us, as the Americans say," he went on. "They're blundering about like men hunting for a leak of gas. The paddle and canoe and provisions prove that. I think they feel us, but cannot actually see us. We must keep our minds quiet—it's our minds they feel. We must control our thoughts, or it's all up with us."
"I mean that up to now, even though they know we're around, they haven't actually found us—not 'located' us, as the Americans would say," he continued. "They're fumbling around like people looking for a gas leak. The paddle, canoe, and supplies show that. I think they sense us, but can't really see us. We have to keep our minds calm—it’s our thoughts they pick up on. We have to manage our thinking, or we're done for."
"Death you mean?" I stammered, icy with the horror of his suggestion.
"Death, you mean?" I stammered, frozen with horror at his suggestion.
"Worse—by far," he said. "Death, according to one's belief, means either annihilation or release from the limitations of the senses, but it involves no change of character. You don't suddenly alter just because the body's gone. But this means a radical alteration, a complete change, a horrible loss of oneself by substitution—far worse than death, and not even annihilation. We happen to have camped in a spot where their region touches ours where the veil between has worn thin"—horrors! he was using my very own phrase, my actual words—"so that they are aware of our being in their neighborhood."
"Worse—by far," he said. "Death, depending on what you believe, means either total nothingness or freedom from the limits of our senses, but it doesn't change who you are. You don't suddenly transform just because your body is gone. But this represents a drastic shift, a complete change, a terrible loss of oneself through replacement—much worse than death, and not even nothingness. We've set up camp in a place where their territory meets ours, where the barrier between us has thinned"—horrors! he was using my exact phrase, my real words—"so they are aware of our presence in their area."
"But who are aware?" I asked.
"But who is aware?" I asked.
I forgot the shaking of the willows in the windless calm, the humming overhead, everything except that I was waiting for an answer that I dreaded more than I can possibly explain.
I forgot the way the willows shook in the still air, the humming above, everything except that I was waiting for an answer that I feared more than I can explain.
He lowered his voice at once to reply, leaning forward a little over the fire, an indefinable change in his face that made me avoid his eyes and look down upon the ground.
He immediately lowered his voice to respond, leaning a bit closer to the fire, a subtle change in his expression that made me look away from his eyes and down at the ground.
"All my life," he said, "I have been strangely, vividly conscious of another region—not far removed from our own world in one sense, yet wholly different in kind—where great things go on unceasingly, where immense and terrible personalities hurry by, intent on vast purposes compared to which earthly affairs, the rise and fall of nations, the destinies of empires, the fate of armies and continents, are all as dust in the balance; vast purposes, I mean, that deal directly with the soul, and not indirectly with mere expressions of the soul—"
"All my life," he said, "I've been strangely aware of another realm—not far from our own world in some ways, yet completely different in others—where incredible things happen constantly, where immense and formidable beings rush by, focused on grand purposes that make earthly concerns, the rise and fall of nations, the fates of empires, the destinies of armies and continents, seem like nothing; grand purposes, I mean, that directly relate to the soul, not just to its mere expressions—"
"I suggest just now—" I began, seeking to stop him, feeling as though I was face to face with a madman. But he instantly overbore me with his torrent that had to come.
"I suggest right now—" I started, trying to interrupt him, feeling like I was staring down a crazy person. But he quickly overwhelmed me with the flood of words that had to spill out.
"You think," he said, "it is the spirits of the elements, and I thought perhaps it was the old gods. But I tell you now it is—neither. These would be comprehensible entities, for they have relations with men, depending upon them for worship or sacrifice, whereas these beings who are now about us have absolutely nothing to do with mankind, and it is mere chance that their space happens just at this spot to touch our own."
"You think," he said, "it's the spirits of the elements, and I thought maybe it was the old gods. But I'm telling you now, it’s—neither. Those would be understandable beings since they have connections with humans, relying on them for worship or sacrifice. But these beings around us have nothing to do with mankind at all, and it's just a coincidence that their space happens to intersect with ours right here."
The mere conception, which his words somehow made so convincing, as I listened to them there in the dark stillness of that lonely island, set me shaking a little all over. I found it impossible to control my movements.
The very idea, which his words somehow made so convincing, left me shaking a bit as I listened to them in the dark silence of that lonely island. I couldn't control my movements at all.
"And what do you propose?" I began again.
"And what do you suggest?" I started again.
"A sacrifice, a victim, might save us by distracting them until we could get away," he went on, "just as the wolves stop to devour the dogs and give the sleigh another start. But—I see no chance of any other victim now."
"A sacrifice, a victim, could save us by drawing their attention away until we can escape," he continued, "just like the wolves pause to eat the dogs, allowing the sled to get moving again. But—I don't see any other potential victim now."
I stared blankly at him. The gleam in his eyes was dreadful. Presently he continued.
I stared at him, completely confused. The look in his eyes was terrifying. Then he went on.
"It's the willows, of course. The willows mask the others, but the others are feeling about for us. If we let our minds betray our fear, we're lost, lost utterly." He looked at me with an expression so calm, so determined, so sincere, that I no longer had any doubts as to his sanity. He was as sane as any man ever was. "If we can hold out through the night," he added, "we may get off in the daylight unnoticed, or rather, undiscovered."
"It's the willows, of course. The willows hide the others, but the others are searching for us. If we let our minds give in to our fear, we're done for, completely lost." He looked at me with a calm, determined, and sincere expression that made me confident in his sanity. He was as sane as any man could be. "If we can get through the night," he continued, "we might be able to leave in the daylight without being seen, or rather, without being discovered."
"But you really think a sacrifice would——"
"But do you really think a sacrifice would——"
That gong-like humming came down very close over our heads as I spoke, but it was my friend's scared face that really stopped my mouth.
That gong-like humming passed very close over our heads as I spoke, but it was my friend's terrified expression that really made me stop.
"Hush!" he whispered, holding up his hand. "Do not mention them more than you can help. Do not refer to them by name. To name is to reveal: it is the inevitable clue, and our only hope lies in ignoring them, in order that they may ignore us."
"Hush!" he whispered, raising his hand. "Don't talk about them more than necessary. Don't mention them by name. To name them is to expose them: it's the unavoidable hint, and our only chance is to ignore them so they can ignore us."
"Even in thought?" He was extraordinarily agitated.
"Even when thinking?" He was extremely agitated.
"Especially in thought. Our thoughts make spirals in their world. We must keep them out of our minds at all costs if possible."
"Especially in thought. Our thoughts create spirals in their world. We have to keep them out of our minds at all costs if we can."
I raked the fire together to prevent the darkness having everything its own way. I never longed for the sun as I longed for it then in the awful blackness of that summer night.
I gathered the fire to stop the darkness from taking over completely. I never craved the sun as much as I did in the terrifying blackness of that summer night.
"Were you awake all last night?" he went on suddenly.
"Were you up all night?" he asked suddenly.
"I slept badly a little after dawn," I replied evasively, trying to follow his instructions, which I knew instinctively were true, "but the wind, of course—"
"I didn't sleep well just after dawn," I replied evasively, trying to follow his advice, which I instinctively knew was right, "but the wind, of course—"
"I know. But the wind won't account for all the noises."
"I get it. But the wind isn't responsible for all the sounds."
"Then you heard it too?"
"Did you hear it too?"
"The multiplying countless little footsteps I heard," he said, adding, after a moment's hesitation, "and that other sound—"
"The countless little footsteps I heard," he said, pausing for a moment, "and that other sound—"
"You mean above the tent, and the pressing down upon us of something tremendous, gigantic?"
"You mean above the tent, and the heavy weight of something huge and overwhelming pressing down on us?"
He nodded significantly.
He nodded meaningfully.
"It was like the beginning of a sort of inner suffocation?" I said.
"It felt like the start of a kind of inner suffocation?" I said.
"Partly, yes. It seemed to me that the weight of the atmosphere had been altered—had increased enormously, so that we should be crushed."
"Partly, yes. It felt like the weight of the atmosphere had changed—had increased drastically, so that we might be crushed."
"And that," I went on, determined to have it all out, pointing upwards where the gong-like note hummed ceaselessly, rising and falling like wind. "What do you make of that?"
"And that," I continued, determined to get it all out, pointing up where the gong-like sound buzzed endlessly, rising and falling like the wind. "What do you think of that?"
"It's their sound," he whispered gravely. "It's the sound of their world, the humming in their region. The division here is so thin that it leaks through somehow. But, if you listen carefully, you'll find it's not above so much as around us. It's in the willows. It's the willows themselves humming, because here the willows have been made symbols of the forces that are against us."
"It's their sound," he whispered seriously. "It's the sound of their world, the humming in their area. The separation here is so slight that it seeps through somehow. But if you listen closely, you'll realize it's not above us but all around us. It's in the willows. It's the willows themselves humming, because here the willows have become symbols of the forces that are against us."
I could not follow exactly what he meant by this, yet the thought and idea in my mind were beyond question the thought and idea in his. I realized what he realized, only with less power of analysis than his. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him at last about my hallucination of the ascending figures and the moving bushes, when he suddenly thrust his face again close into mine across the firelight and began to speak in a very earnest whisper. He amazed me by his calmness and pluck, his apparent control of the situation. This man I had for years deemed unimaginative, stolid!
I couldn't quite grasp what he meant by this, but the thought in my mind was undoubtedly the same as his. I understood what he understood, just with less analytical ability than he had. It was almost on the tip of my tongue to finally tell him about my hallucination of the figures rising and the moving bushes, when he suddenly leaned his face in close to mine across the firelight and began to speak in a very serious whisper. I was surprised by his calmness and courage, his clear control of the situation. This was a man I had thought for years was unimaginative and dull!
"Now listen," he said. "The only thing for us to do is to go on as though nothing had happened, follow our usual habits, go to bed, and so forth; pretend we feel nothing and notice nothing. It is a question wholly of the mind, and the less we think about them the better our chance of escape. Above all, don't think, for what you think happens!"
"Now listen," he said. "The only thing we can do is carry on like nothing's happened, stick to our normal routines, go to bed, and so on; act like we feel nothing and notice nothing. It's all in the mind, and the less we think about them, the better our chance of getting away. Above all, don't think, because what you think ends up happening!"
"All right," I managed to reply, simply breathless with his words and the strangeness of it all; "all right, I'll try, but tell me one thing more first. Tell me what you make of those hollows in the ground all about us, those sand-funnels?"
"Okay," I finally said, completely overwhelmed by what he said and how weird everything felt; "okay, I’ll give it a shot, but first, tell me one more thing. What do you think of those holes in the ground around us, those sand funnels?"
"No!" he cried, forgetting to whisper in his excitement. "I dare not, simply dare not, put the thought into words. If you have not guessed I am glad. Don't try to. They have put it into my mind; try your hardest to prevent their putting it into yours."
"No!" he exclaimed, forgetting to keep his voice down in his excitement. "I can't, I just can't, say it out loud. If you haven't figured it out, I'm happy. Don't try to. They put it in my head; do your best to stop them from putting it in yours."
He sank his voice again to a whisper before he finished, and I did not press him to explain. There was already just about as much horror in me as I could hold. The conversation came to an end, and we smoked our pipes busily in silence.
He lowered his voice to a whisper again before he finished, and I didn’t push him to explain. I already felt as much horror as I could handle. The conversation ended, and we smoked our pipes quietly in silence.
Then something happened, something unimportant apparently, as the way is when the nerves are in a very great state of tension, and this small thing for a brief space gave me an entirely different point of view. I chanced to look down at my sand-shoe—the sort we used for the canoe—and something to do with the hole at the toe suddenly recalled to me the London shop where I had bought them, the difficulty the man had in fitting me, and other details of the uninteresting but practical operation. At once, in its train, followed a wholesome view of the modern skeptical world I was accustomed to move in at home. I thought of roast beef and ale, motor-cars, policemen, brass bands, and a dozen other things that proclaimed the soul of ordinariness or utility. The effect was immediate and astonishing even to myself. Psychologically, I suppose, it was simply a sudden and violent reaction after the strain of living in an atmosphere of things that to the normal consciousness must seem impossible and incredible. But, whatever the cause, it momentarily lifted the spell from my heart, and left me for the short space of a minute feeling free and utterly unafraid. I looked up at my friend opposite.
Then something happened, something apparently unimportant, as it often does when nerves are really on edge, and this small thing for a brief moment gave me a totally different perspective. I happened to glance down at my sneaker—the kind we used for the canoe—and something about the hole in the toe suddenly reminded me of the London shop where I had bought them, the trouble the guy had fitting me, and other details of that boring but practical experience. Immediately, along with that memory, came a clear view of the modern skeptical world I was used to at home. I thought about roast beef and beer, cars, cops, brass bands, and a bunch of other things that shouted the essence of everyday life or practicality. The effect was immediate and surprising, even to me. Psychologically, I guess it was just a sudden, intense reaction after the strain of living in a setting that to normal consciousness must seem impossible and unbelievable. But, whatever the reason, it momentarily lifted the weight from my heart, leaving me for that brief minute feeling free and completely unafraid. I looked up at my friend across from me.
"You damned old pagan!" I cried, laughing aloud in his face. "You imaginative idiot! You superstitious idolator! You——"
"You ridiculous old pagan!" I shouted, laughing right in his face. "You creative fool! You superstitious idol-worshipper! You——"
I stopped in the middle, seized anew by the old horror. I tried to smother the sound of my voice as something sacrilegious. The Swede, of course, heard it too—that strange cry overhead in the darkness—and that sudden drop in the air as though something had come nearer.
I paused, overcome once more by the familiar fear. I tried to silence my voice, feeling it was something blasphemous. The Swede definitely heard it too—that eerie cry above us in the dark—and that sudden shift in the air, as if something had gotten closer.
He had turned ashen white under the tan. He stood bolt upright in front of the fire, stiff as a rod, staring at me.
He had gone pale under his tan. He stood straight up in front of the fire, stiff as a board, staring at me.
"After that," he said in a sort of helpless, frantic way, "we must go! We can't stay now; we must strike camp this very instant and go on—down the river."
"After that," he said in a somewhat desperate, frantic way, "we have to go! We can't stay here now; we need to pack up our camp right this second and move on—down the river."
He was talking, I saw, quite wildly, his words dictated by abject terror—the terror he had resisted so long, but which had caught him at last.
He was speaking, I noticed, quite frantically, his words driven by complete fear—the fear he had fought against for so long, but which had finally overwhelmed him.
"In the dark?" I exclaimed, shaking with fear after my hysterical outburst, but still realizing our position better than he did. "Sheer madness! The river's in flood, and we've only got a single paddle. Besides, we only go deeper into their country! There's nothing ahead for fifty miles but willows, willows, willows!"
"In the dark?" I shouted, trembling with fear after my outburst, but I still understood our situation better than he did. "This is insane! The river is overflowing, and we only have one paddle. Plus, we're just heading further into their territory! There's nothing for fifty miles except willows, willows, willows!"
He sat down again in a state of semi-collapse. The positions, by one of those kaleidoscopic changes nature loves, were suddenly reversed, and the control of our forces passed over into my hands. His mind at last had reached the point where it was beginning to weaken.
He sat down again, feeling almost defeated. The roles, in one of those sudden shifts that nature enjoys, were unexpectedly switched, and the command of our forces came to rest in my hands. His mind had finally reached a point where it was starting to falter.
"What on earth possessed you to do such a thing?" he whispered, with the awe of genuine terror in his voice and face.
"What on earth made you do that?" he whispered, his voice and face reflecting genuine terror.
I crossed round to his side of the fire. I took both his hands in mine, kneeling down beside him and looking straight into his frightened eyes.
I moved around to his side of the fire. I took both of his hands in mine, kneeling down next to him and looking straight into his scared eyes.
"We'll make one more blaze," I said firmly, "and then turn in for the night. At sunrise we'll be off full speed for Komorn. Now, pull yourself together a bit, and remember your own advice about not thinking fear!"
"We'll make one more fire," I said firmly, "and then call it a night. At sunrise, we'll head out at full speed for Komorn. Now, pull yourself together a bit, and remember your own advice about not thinking fear!"
He said no more, and I saw that he would agree and obey. In some measure, too, it was a sort of relief to get up and make an excursion into the darkness for more wood. We kept close together, almost touching, groping among the bushes and along the bank. The humming overhead never ceased, but seemed to me to grow louder as we increased our distance from the fire. It was shivery work!
He didn't say anything else, and I could tell he would agree and go along with it. In a way, it was kind of a relief to get up and venture into the darkness for more wood. We stayed close together, almost touching, feeling our way through the bushes and along the bank. The humming overhead never stopped, but it felt like it got louder as we moved further from the fire. It was really chilling work!
We were grubbing away in the middle of a thickish clump of willows where some driftwood from a former flood had caught high among the branches, when my body was seized in a grip that made me half drop upon the sand. It was the Swede. He had fallen against me, and was clutching me for support. I heard his breath coming and going in short gasps.
We were digging around in a dense patch of willows where some driftwood from a past flood had gotten stuck high in the branches when I suddenly felt a strong grip that almost made me collapse onto the sand. It was the Swede. He had leaned against me and was holding onto me for support. I could hear his breathing coming in quick gasps.
"Look! By my soul!" he whispered, and for the first time in my experience I knew what it was to hear tears of terror in a human voice. He was pointing to the fire, some fifty feet away. I followed the direction of his finger, and I swear my heart missed a beat.
"Look! I swear!" he whispered, and for the first time in my life, I understood what it was like to hear tears of fear in someone's voice. He was pointing at the fire, about fifty feet away. I followed his finger, and I swear my heart skipped a beat.
There, in front of the dim glow, something was moving.
There, in front of the dim glow, something was moving.
I saw it through a veil that hung before my eyes like the gauze drop-curtain used at the back of a theater—hazily a little. It was neither a human figure nor an animal. To me it gave the strange impression of being as large as several animals grouped together, like horses, two or three, moving slowly. The Swede, too, got a similar result, though expressing it differently, for he thought it was shaped and sized like a clump of willow bushes, rounded at the top, and moving all over upon its surface—"coiling upon itself like smoke," he said afterwards.
I saw it through a veil that hung before my eyes like the gauzy curtain used at the back of a theater—slightly hazy. It was neither a human figure nor an animal. To me, it strangely seemed as large as several animals grouped together, like two or three horses moving slowly. The Swede also had a similar impression, although he described it differently; he thought it looked like a clump of willow bushes, rounded at the top, moving all over its surface—"coiling upon itself like smoke," he said afterward.
"I watched it settle downwards through the bushes," he sobbed at me. "Look, by God! It's coming this way! Oh, oh!"—he gave a kind of whistling cry. "They've found us."
"I saw it drop down through the bushes," he cried to me. "Look, oh my God! It's coming this way! Oh, oh!"—he made a sort of whistling sound. "They've found us."
I gave one terrified glance, which just enabled me to see that the shadowy form was swinging towards us through the bushes, and then I collapsed backwards with a crash into the branches. These failed, of course, to support my weight, so that with the Swede on the top of me we fell in a struggling heap upon the sand. I really hardly knew what was happening. I was conscious only of a sort of enveloping sensation of icy fear that plucked the nerves out of their fleshly covering, twisted them this way and that, and replaced them quivering. My eyes were tightly shut; something in my throat choked me; a feeling that my consciousness was expanding, extending out into space, swiftly gave way to another feeling that I was losing it altogether, and about to die.
I took a quick, terrified look, just enough to see that the dark shape was moving toward us through the bushes, and then I fell back with a thud into the branches. They obviously couldn’t hold my weight, and with the Swede on top of me, we tumbled down in a tangled mess onto the sand. I barely understood what was going on. All I felt was an overwhelming, icy fear that stripped my nerves bare, twisted them around, and left them trembling. My eyes were squeezed shut; something was tightening in my throat; a sensation that my mind was expanding out into the emptiness quickly shifted to the feeling that I was losing it completely and about to die.
An acute spasm of pain passed through me, and I was aware that the Swede had hold of me in such a way that he hurt me abominably. It was the way he caught at me in falling.
A sharp spasm of pain struck me, and I realized that the Swede was holding me in a way that hurt like hell. It was how he grabbed me as he fell.
But it was this pain, he declared afterwards, that saved me: it caused me to forget them and think of something else at the very instant when they were about to find me. It concealed my mind from them at the moment of discovery, yet just in time to evade their terrible seizing of me. He himself, he says, actually swooned at the same moment, and that was what saved him.
But it was this pain, he later said, that saved me: it made me forget them and focus on something else right when they were about to find me. It kept my mind hidden from them at the moment of discovery, just in time to escape their terrifying grasp. He claims that he actually fainted at the same moment, and that was what saved him.
I only know that at a later time, how long or short is impossible to say, I found myself scrambling up out of the slippery network of willow branches, and saw my companion standing in front of me holding out a hand to assist me. I stared at him in a dazed way, rubbing the arm he had twisted for me. Nothing came to me to say, somehow.
I only know that at some point later, how long or short is impossible to say, I found myself climbing out of the slippery tangle of willow branches and saw my friend in front of me, reaching out a hand to help me. I looked at him in a dazed way, rubbing the arm he had twisted for me. Somehow, nothing came to mind to say.
"I lost consciousness for a moment or two," I heard him say. "That's what saved me. It made me stop thinking about them."
"I blacked out for a minute or two," I heard him say. "That's what saved me. It made me stop thinking about them."
"You nearly broke my arm in two," I said, uttering my only connected thought at the moment. A numbness came over me.
"You almost broke my arm in two," I said, expressing my only coherent thought at that moment. A numbness washed over me.
"That's what saved you!" he replied. "Between us, we've managed to set them off on a false tack somewhere. The humming has ceased. It's gone—for the moment at any rate!"
"That's what saved you!" he replied. "Together, we've managed to lead them in the wrong direction. The humming has stopped. It's gone—for now, at least!"
A wave of hysterical laughter seized me again, and this time spread to my friend too—great healing gusts of shaking laughter that brought a tremendous sense of relief in their train. We made our way back to the fire and put the wood on so that it blazed at once. Then we saw that the tent had fallen over and lay in a tangled heap upon the ground.
A wave of uncontrollable laughter hit me again, and this time it spread to my friend too—powerful bursts of laughter that brought an overwhelming sense of relief with them. We went back to the fire and added more wood so it blazed up right away. Then we noticed that the tent had collapsed and was lying in a messy pile on the ground.
We picked it up, and during the process tripped more than once and caught our feet in sand.
We picked it up, and during the process, we tripped more than once and got our feet stuck in the sand.
"It's those sand-funnels," exclaimed the Swede, when the tent was up again and the firelight lit up the ground for several yards about us. "And look at the size of them!"
"It's those sand funnels," exclaimed the Swede, once the tent was set up again and the firelight illuminated the ground for several yards around us. "And check out how big they are!"
All round the tent and about the fireplace where we had seen the moving shadows there were deep funnel-shaped hollows in the sand, exactly similar to the ones we had already found over the island, only far bigger and deeper, beautifully formed, and wide enough in some instances to admit the whole of my foot and leg.
All around the tent and the campfire, where we had noticed the moving shadows, there were deep, funnel-shaped hollows in the sand. These were just like the ones we had already discovered on the island, only much larger and deeper, perfectly shaped, and wide enough in some cases to fit my entire foot and leg.
Neither of us said a word. We both knew that sleep was the safest thing we could do, and to bed we went accordingly without further delay, having first thrown sand on the fire and taken the provision sack and the paddle inside the tent with us. The canoe, too, we propped in such a way at the end of the tent that our feet touched it, and the least motion would disturb and wake us.
Neither of us said anything. We both understood that sleep was the best option, so we headed to bed right away, throwing sand on the fire first and bringing the supply bag and paddle into the tent with us. We also positioned the canoe at the end of the tent so our feet rested on it; any movement would wake us up.
In case of emergency, too, we again went to bed in our clothes, ready for a sudden start.
In case of an emergency, we went to bed in our clothes again, prepared for a quick escape.
V
It was my firm intention to lie awake all night and watch, but the exhaustion of nerves and body decreed otherwise, and sleep after a while came over me with a welcome blanket of oblivion. The fact that my companion also slept quickened its approach. At first he fidgeted and constantly sat up, asking me if I "heard this" or "heard that." He tossed about on his cork mattress, and said the tent was moving and the river had risen over the point of the island; but each time I went out to look I returned with the report that all was well, and finally he grew calmer and lay still. Then at length his breathing became regular and I heard unmistakable sounds of snoring—the first and only time in my life when snoring has been a welcome and calming influence.
I was determined to stay awake all night and watch, but the exhaustion of my nerves and body had other plans, and eventually, sleep wrapped around me like a welcome blanket of oblivion. The fact that my companion also fell asleep made it come faster. At first, he fidgeted and kept sitting up, asking if I "heard this" or "heard that." He tossed around on his cork mattress, saying the tent was moving and the river had risen over the point of the island; but each time I went out to check, I came back with the news that everything was fine, and eventually he calmed down and lay still. Then, after a while, his breathing became steady, and I heard unmistakable sounds of snoring—the first and only time in my life when snoring has felt like a comforting presence.
This, I remember, was the last thought in my mind before dozing off.
This, I remember, was the last thought on my mind before dozing off.
A difficulty in breathing woke me, and I found the blanket over my face. But something else besides the blanket was pressing upon me, and my first thought was that my companion had rolled off his mattress on to my own in his sleep. I called to him and sat up, and at the same moment it came to me that the tent was surrounded. That sound of multitudinous soft pattering was again audible outside, filling the night with horror.
A struggle to breathe woke me up, and I realized the blanket was over my face. But something else was pressing down on me, and my first thought was that my friend had rolled off his mattress and onto mine while sleeping. I called out to him and sat up, and at the same time, it hit me that the tent was surrounded. That sound of countless soft pattering was once again audible outside, filling the night with dread.
I called again to him, louder than before. He did not answer, but I missed the sound of his snoring, and also noticed that the flap of the tent door was down. This was the unpardonable sin. I crawled out in the darkness to hook it back securely, and it was then for the first time I realized positively that the Swede was not there. He had gone.
I called out to him again, louder than before. He didn’t respond, and I missed the sound of his snoring. I also noticed that the tent door flap was closed. That was a big mistake. I crawled out into the darkness to fasten it back securely, and it was then that I realized for sure that the Swede was gone. He had left.
I dashed out in a mad run, seized by a dreadful agitation, and the moment I was out I plunged into a sort of torrent of humming that surrounded me completely and came out of every quarter of the heavens at once. It was that same familiar humming—gone mad! A swarm of great invisible bees might have been about me in the air. The sound seemed to thicken the very atmosphere, and I felt that my lungs worked with difficulty.
I ran out in a panic, overwhelmed by a terrible anxiety, and as soon as I was outside, I was engulfed in a torrent of buzzing that surrounded me from every direction. It was that same familiar buzzing—now insane! It felt like there was a swarm of huge invisible bees buzzing around me in the air. The noise seemed to thicken the very air, and I struggled to breathe.
But my friend was in danger, and I could not hesitate.
But my friend was in trouble, and I couldn’t hesitate.
The dawn was just about to break, and a faint whitish light spread upwards over the clouds from a thin strip of clear horizon. No wind stirred. I could just make out the bushes and river beyond, and the pale sandy patches. In my excitement I ran frantically to and fro about the island, calling him by name, shouting at the top of my voice the first words that came into my head. But the willows smothered my voice, and the humming muffled it, so that the sound only traveled a few feet round me. I plunged among the bushes, tripping headlong, tumbling over roots, and scraping my face as I tore this way and that among the preventing branches.
The dawn was just about to break, and a faint white light spread upward over the clouds from a thin strip of clear horizon. No wind stirred. I could barely see the bushes and river beyond, along with the pale sandy patches. In my excitement, I ran frantically back and forth across the island, calling his name and shouting the first words that came to mind at the top of my lungs. But the willows muffled my voice, and the buzzing toned it down, so the sound only traveled a few feet around me. I plunged into the bushes, tripping headfirst, tumbling over roots, and scraping my face as I tore this way and that among the obstructing branches.
Then, quite unexpectedly, I came out upon the island's point and saw a dark figure outlined between the water and the sky. It was the Swede. And already he had one foot in the river! A moment more and he would have taken the plunge.
Then, quite unexpectedly, I reached the island's edge and saw a dark figure against the water and the sky. It was the Swede. He already had one foot in the river! One more moment, and he would have jumped in.
I threw myself upon him, flinging my arms about his waist and dragging him shorewards with all my strength. Of course he struggled furiously, making a noise all the time just like that cursed humming, and using the most outlandish phrases in his anger about "going inside to Them," and "taking the way of the water and the wind," and God only knows what more besides, that I tried in vain to recall afterwards, but which turned me sick with horror and amazement as I listened. But in the end I managed to get him into the comparative safety of the tent, and flung him breathless and cursing upon the mattress, where I held him until the fit had passed.
I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him towards the shore with all my strength. Naturally, he fought back hard, making a noise like that cursed humming, and shouting the wildest phrases in his anger about "going inside to Them," and "taking the path of the water and the wind," and God knows what else that I tried unsuccessfully to remember later, but which made me sick with horror and amazement as I listened. But in the end, I got him to the relative safety of the tent and threw him down, breathless and cursing, onto the mattress, where I held him until the fit had passed.
I think the suddenness with which it all went and he grew calm, coinciding as it did with the equally abrupt cessation of the humming and pattering outside—I think this was almost the strangest part of the whole business perhaps. For he just opened his eyes and turned his tired face up to me so that the dawn threw a pale light upon it through the doorway, and said, for all the world just like a frightened child:
I think the suddenness of everything and how he became calm, happening right when the humming and pattering outside suddenly stopped—that was probably the strangest part of the whole situation. He simply opened his eyes and turned his weary face up to me, so the dawn cast a faint light on it through the doorway, and said, just like a scared child:
"My life, old man—it's my life I owe you. But it's all over now anyhow. They've found a victim in our place!"
"My life, old man—it's my life I owe you. But it’s all over now anyway. They’ve found a victim in our place!"
Then he dropped back upon his blankets and went to sleep literally under my eyes. He simply collapsed, and began to snore again as healthily as though nothing had happened and he had never tried to offer his own life as a sacrifice by drowning. And when the sunlight woke him three hours later—hours of ceaseless vigil for me—it became so clear to me that he remembered absolutely nothing of what he had attempted to do, that I deemed it wise to hold my peace and ask no dangerous questions.
Then he fell back onto his blankets and went to sleep right in front of me. He just collapsed and started snoring as healthily as if nothing had happened and he had never tried to sacrifice his life by drowning. And when the sunlight woke him three hours later—hours of endless watching for me—it became clear that he remembered absolutely nothing of what he had tried to do, so I decided it was best to stay quiet and not ask any risky questions.
He woke naturally and easily, as I have said, when the sun was already high in a windless hot sky, and he at once got up and set about the preparation of the fire for breakfast. I followed him anxiously at bathing, but he did not attempt to plunge in, merely dipping his head and making some remark about the extra coldness of the water.
He woke up naturally and easily, as I mentioned, when the sun was already high in a still, hot sky. He immediately got up and started getting the fire ready for breakfast. I nervously followed him to bathe, but he didn’t try to jump in, only dipping his head and commenting on how extra cold the water was.
"River's falling at last," he said, "and I'm glad of it."
"River's finally falling," he said, "and I'm happy about it."
"The humming has stopped too," I said.
"The humming has stopped too," I said.
He looked up at me quietly with his normal expression. Evidently he remembered everything except his own attempt at suicide.
He looked up at me calmly with his usual expression. Clearly, he remembered everything except for his own suicide attempt.
"Everything has stopped," he said, "because——"
"Everything has stopped," he said, "because——"
He hesitated. But I knew some reference to that remark he had made just before he fainted was in his mind, and I was determined to know it.
He hesitated. But I knew he was thinking about that comment he made just before he passed out, and I was set on finding out what it was.
"Because 'They've found another victim'?" I said, forcing a little laugh.
"Because 'They've found another victim'?" I said, forcing a little laugh.
"Exactly," he answered, "exactly! I feel as positive of it as though—as though—I feel quite safe again, I mean," he finished.
"Exactly," he replied, "exactly! I feel as sure of it as if—as if—I feel totally safe again, I mean," he finished.
He began to look curiously about him. The sunlight lay in hot patches on the sand. There was no wind. The willows were motionless. He slowly rose to feet.
He started to glance around with curiosity. The sunlight rested in warm spots on the sand. There was no breeze. The willows stood still. He gradually got to his feet.
"Come," he said; "I think if we look, we shall find it."
"Come on," he said; "I think if we look, we'll find it."
He started off on a run, and I followed him. He kept to the banks, poking with a stick among the sandy bays and caves and little back-waters, myself always close on his heels.
He took off running, and I chased after him. He stuck to the banks, prodding with a stick among the sandy coves, caves, and small backwaters, with me always right on his tail.
"Ah!" he exclaimed presently, "ah!"
"Ah!" he exclaimed then, "ah!"
The tone of his voice somehow brought back to me a vivid sense of the horror of the last twenty-four hours, and I hurried up to join him. He was pointing with his stick at a large black object that lay half in the water and half on the sand. It appeared to be caught by some twisted willow roots so that the river could not sweep it away. A few hours before the spot must have been under water.
The tone of his voice instantly reminded me of the terrifying events of the last twenty-four hours, and I quickly rushed to join him. He was pointing with his stick at a large black object that was half in the water and half on the sand. It seemed to be snagged by some twisted willow roots, preventing the river from carrying it away. A few hours earlier, that spot must have been underwater.
"See," he said quietly, "the victim that made our escape possible!"
"See," he said softly, "the victim who made our escape possible!"
And when I peered across his shoulder I saw that his stick rested on the body of a man. He turned it over. It was the corpse of a peasant, and the face was hidden in the sand. Clearly the man had been drowned but a few hours before, and his body must have been swept down upon our island somewhere about the hour of the dawn—at the very time the fit had passed.
And when I looked over his shoulder, I saw that his stick was resting on a man's body. He flipped it over. It was the corpse of a peasant, and the face was buried in the sand. It was clear that the man had drowned just a few hours earlier, and his body must have been washed onto our island around dawn—at the exact moment the fit had passed.
"We must give it a decent burial, you know."
"We need to give it a proper burial, you know."
"I suppose so," I replied. I shuddered a little in spite of myself, for there was something about the appearance of that poor drowned man that turned me cold.
"I guess so," I replied. I shivered a bit despite myself, because there was something about the sight of that poor drowned man that chilled me.
The Swede glanced up sharply at me, and began clambering down the bank. I followed him more leisurely. The current, I noticed, had torn away much of the clothing from the body, so that the neck and part of the chest lay bare.
The Swede looked up at me suddenly and started climbing down the bank. I followed him at a slower pace. I noticed that the current had ripped away a lot of the clothing from the body, leaving the neck and part of the chest exposed.
Halfway down the bank my companion suddenly stopped and held up his hand in warning; but either my foot slipped, or I had gained too much momentum to bring myself quickly to a halt, for I bumped into him and sent him forward with a sort of leap to save himself. We tumbled together on to the hard sand so that our feet splashed into the water. And, before anything could be done, we had collided a little heavily against the corpse.
Halfway down the bank, my friend suddenly stopped and raised his hand to warn me; but either my foot slipped, or I was moving too fast to stop quickly, because I ran into him and he had to leap forward to catch himself. We fell onto the hard sand, splashing our feet into the water. Before we could react, we had collided quite hard with the corpse.
The Swede uttered a sharp cry. And I sprang back as if I had been shot.
The Swede let out a loud scream. I jumped back like I had been shot.
At the moment we touched the body there arose from its surface the loud sound of humming—the sound of several hummings—which passed with a vast commotion as of winged things in the air about us and disappeared upwards into the sky, growing fainter and fainter till they finally ceased in the distance. It was exactly as though we had disturbed some living yet invisible creatures at work.
As soon as we touched the body, a loud humming sound came from its surface—like multiple hums—that created a huge commotion, like winged creatures flying around us, and then vanished into the sky, growing fainter and fainter until it finally stopped in the distance. It felt just like we had interrupted some living but invisible beings busy at work.
My companion clutched me, and I think I clutched him, but before either of us had time properly to recover from the unexpected shock, we saw that a movement of the current was turning the corpse round so that it became released from the grip of the willow roots. A moment later it had turned completely over, the dead face uppermost, staring at the sky. It lay on the edge of the main stream. In another moment it would be swept away.
My friend held onto me, and I believe I held onto him, but before we could fully process the unexpected shock, we noticed the current was moving the body, freeing it from the grasp of the willow roots. In an instant, it rolled completely over, the lifeless face up, gazing at the sky. It rested on the edge of the main stream, and in a moment, it would be carried away.
The Swede started to save it, shouting again something I did not catch about a "proper burial" and then abruptly dropped upon his knees on the sand and covered his eyes with his hands. I was beside him in an instant.
The Swede began to save it, shouting again something I didn’t catch about a “proper burial,” and then suddenly dropped to his knees in the sand and covered his eyes with his hands. I was next to him in an instant.
I saw what he had seen.
I saw what he had seen.
For just as the body swung round to the current the face and the exposed chest turned full towards us, and showed plainly how the skin and flesh were indented with small hollows, beautifully formed, and exactly similar in shape and kind to the sand-funnels that we had found all over the island.
For just as the body turned to face the current, the face and exposed chest came fully towards us, clearly showing how the skin and flesh were marked with small indentations, beautifully formed and exactly resembling the sand funnels we had seen all over the island.
"Their mark!" I heard my companion mutter under his breath. "Their awful mark!"
"Their mark!" I heard my friend mutter softly. "Their terrible mark!"
And when I turned my eyes again from his ghastly face to the river, the current had done its work, and the body had been swept away into midstream and was already beyond our reach and almost out of sight, turning over and over on the waves like an otter.
And when I looked away from his horrifying face back at the river, the current had done its job, and the body had been carried out into the middle of the stream, already beyond our reach and nearly out of sight, rolling over and over on the waves like an otter.
The Shadows on the Wall
By MARY E. WILKINS FREEMANBy Mary E. Wilkins Freeman
From The Wind in the Rose-bush, by Mary E. Wilkins Freeman. Copyright by Harper and Brothers. By permission of the publishers and Mary E. Wilkins Freeman.
From The Wind in the Rose-bush, by Mary E. Wilkins Freeman. Copyright by Harper and Brothers. By permission of the publishers and Mary E. Wilkins Freeman.
"Henry had words with Edward in the study the night before Edward died," said Caroline Glynn.
"Henry had a conversation with Edward in the study the night before Edward died," Caroline Glynn said.
She spoke not with acrimony, but with grave severity. Rebecca Ann Glynn gasped by way of assent. She sat in a wide flounce of black silk in the corner of the sofa, and rolled terrified eyes from her sister Caroline to her sister Mrs. Stephen Brigham, who had been Emma Glynn, the one beauty of the family. The latter was beautiful still, with a large, splendid, full-blown beauty, she filled a great rocking-chair with her superb bulk of femininity, and swayed gently back and forth, her black silks whispering and her black frills fluttering. Even the shock of death—for her brother Edward lay dead in the house—could not disturb her outward serenity of demeanor.
She spoke not with bitterness, but with serious intensity. Rebecca Ann Glynn gasped in agreement. She sat in a wide flow of black silk in the corner of the sofa, rolling her terrified eyes from her sister Caroline to her sister Mrs. Stephen Brigham, who had been Emma Glynn, the family's only beauty. The latter was still beautiful, with a large, stunning, full-blown beauty, and she filled a big rocking chair with her impressive femininity, swaying gently back and forth, her black silks whispering and her black frills fluttering. Even the shock of death—since her brother Edward lay dead in the house—could not disturb her outward calmness.
But even her expression of masterly placidity changed before her sister Caroline's announcement and her sister Rebecca Ann's gasp of terror and distress in response.
But even her calm expression changed when her sister Caroline announced something, prompting a gasp of fear and distress from her sister Rebecca Ann in response.
"I think Henry might have controlled his temper, when poor Edward was so near his end," she said with an asperity which disturbed slightly the roseate curves of her beautiful mouth.
"I think Henry could have kept his cool when poor Edward was so close to the end," she said with a sharpness that slightly disrupted the soft curves of her beautiful mouth.
"Of course he did not know," murmured Rebecca Ann in a faint tone.
"Of course he didn't know," Rebecca Ann whispered softly.
"Of course he did not know it," said Caroline quickly. She turned on her sister with a strange, sharp look of suspicion. Then she shrank as if from the other's possible answer.
"Of course he didn’t know that," Caroline said quickly. She shot her sister a strange, sharp look of suspicion. Then she recoiled as if anticipating the other's potential response.
Rebecca gasped again. The married sister, Mrs. Emma Brigham, was now sitting up straight in her chair; she had ceased rocking, and was eyeing them both intently with a sudden accentuation of family likeness in her face.
Rebecca gasped again. The married sister, Mrs. Emma Brigham, was now sitting up straight in her chair; she had stopped rocking and was staring at them both intently, with a sudden emphasis on the family resemblance in her face.
"What do you mean?" said she impartially to them both. Then she, too, seemed to shrink before a possible answer. She even laughed an evasive sort of laugh.
"What do you mean?" she said evenly to them both. Then she, too, seemed to pull back at the thought of an answer. She even let out a nervous sort of laugh.
"Nobody means anything," said Caroline firmly. She rose and crossed the room toward the door with grim decisiveness.
"Nobody means anything," Caroline said firmly. She got up and walked across the room toward the door with determined seriousness.
"Where are you going?" asked Mrs. Brigham.
"Where are you headed?" Mrs. Brigham asked.
"I have something to see to," replied Caroline, and the others at once knew by her tone that she had some solemn and sad duty to perform in the chamber of death.
"I have something to take care of," replied Caroline, and the others immediately understood from her tone that she had a serious and sad responsibility to fulfill in the room of death.
"Oh," said Mrs. Brigham.
"Oh," said Mrs. Brigham.
After the door had closed behind Caroline, she turned to Rebecca.
After the door closed behind Caroline, she turned to Rebecca.
"Did Henry have many words with him?" she asked.
"Did Henry talk a lot?" she asked.
"They were talking very loud," replied Rebecca evasively.
"They were talking really loudly," replied Rebecca evasively.
Mrs. Brigham looked at her. She had not resumed rocking. She still sat up straight, with a slight knitting of intensity on her fair forehead, between the pretty rippling curves of her auburn hair.
Mrs. Brigham looked at her. She hadn't started rocking again. She still sat up straight, with a slight furrow of concentration on her fair forehead, between the pretty flowing curls of her auburn hair.
"Did you—ever hear anything?" she asked in a low voice with a glance toward the door.
"Did you ever hear anything?" she asked quietly, glancing at the door.
"I was just across the hall in the south parlor, and that door was open and this door ajar," replied Rebecca with a slight flush.
"I was just across the hall in the south parlor, and that door was open and this door was slightly ajar," Rebecca replied, with a slight blush.
"Then you must have——"
"Then you must have ———"
"I couldn't help it."
"I couldn't help myself."
"Everything?"
"All of it?"
"Most of it."
"Most of it."
"What was it?"
"What was that?"
"The old story."
"The classic tale."
"I suppose Henry was mad, as he always was, because Edward was living on here for nothing, when he had wasted all the money father left him."
"I guess Henry was upset, as he usually was, because Edward was staying here for free after wasting all the money their father left him."
Rebecca nodded, with a fearful glance at the door.
Rebecca nodded, casting a worried look at the door.
When Emma spoke again her voice was still more hushed. "I know how he felt," said she. "It must have looked to him as if Edward was living at his expense, but he wasn't."
When Emma spoke again, her voice was even quieter. "I know how he felt," she said. "It must have seemed to him like Edward was living off him, but he wasn't."
"No, he wasn't."
"No, he wasn't."
"And Edward had a right here according to the terms of father's will, and Henry ought to have remembered it."
"And Edward had a rightful claim here according to the terms of Dad's will, and Henry should have remembered it."
"Yes, he ought."
"Yeah, he should."
"Did he say hard things?"
"Did he say tough things?"
"Pretty hard, from what I heard."
"Sounds pretty tough, from what I've heard."
"What?"
"What?"
"I heard him tell Edward that he had no business here at all, and he thought he had better go away."
"I heard him tell Edward that he didn’t belong here at all, and he thought it would be best to leave."
"What did Edward say?"
"What did Ed say?"
"That he would stay here as long as he lived and afterward, too, if he was a mind to, and he would like to see Henry get him out; and then——"
"That he would stay here for as long as he lived and even after, if he wanted to, and he would love to see Henry help him get out; and then——"
"What?"
"What?"
"Then he laughed."
"Then he chuckled."
"What did Henry say?"
"What did Henry say?"
"I didn't hear him say anything, but——"
"I didn't hear him say anything, but——"
"But what?"
"But what now?"
"I saw him when he came out of this room."
"I saw him when he walked out of this room."
"He looked mad?"
"Did he look angry?"
"You've seen him when he looked so."
"You've seen him when he looked like that."
Emma nodded. The expression of horror on her face had deepened.
Emma nodded. The look of horror on her face had intensified.
"Do you remember that time he killed the cat because she had scratched him?"
"Do you remember that time he killed the cat because she scratched him?"
"Yes. Don't!"
"Yes. Don't do it!"
Then Caroline reentered the room; she went up to the stove, in which a wood fire was burning—it was a cold, gloomy day of fall—and she warmed her hands, which were reddened from recent washing in cold water.
Then Caroline walked back into the room; she approached the stove, where a wood fire was crackling—it was a chilly, dreary fall day—and she warmed her hands, which were red from washing them in cold water.
Mrs. Brigham looked at her and hesitated. She glanced at the door, which was still ajar; it did not easily shut, being still swollen with the damp weather of the summer. She rose and pushed it together with a sharp thud, which jarred the house. Rebecca started painfully with a half-exclamation. Caroline looked at her disapprovingly.
Mrs. Brigham looked at her and hesitated. She glanced at the door, which was still slightly open; it didn't close easily, having swelled from the damp summer weather. She stood up and pushed it shut with a loud thud that shook the house. Rebecca flinched instinctively with a half-exclamation. Caroline looked at her with disapproval.
"It is time you controlled your nerves, Rebecca," she said.
"It’s time you got a grip on your nerves, Rebecca," she said.
Mrs. Brigham, returning from the closed door, said imperiously that it ought to be fixed, it shut so hard.
Mrs. Brigham, coming back from the closed door, said firmly that it should be fixed since it shuts so hard.
"It will shrink enough after we have had the fire a few days," replied Caroline.
"It will shrink enough after we've had the fire going for a few days," replied Caroline.
"I think Henry ought to be ashamed of himself for talking as he did to Edward," said Mrs. Brigham abruptly, but in an almost inaudible voice.
"I think Henry should be ashamed of himself for the way he talked to Edward," Mrs. Brigham said abruptly, but in a voice that was barely audible.
"Hush," said Caroline, with a glance of actual fear at the closed door.
"Hush," Caroline said, glancing at the closed door with genuine fear.
"Nobody can hear with the door shut. I say again I think Henry ought to be ashamed of himself. I shouldn't think he'd ever get over it, having words with poor Edward the very night before he died. Edward was enough sight better disposition than Henry, with all his faults."
"Nobody can hear with the door closed. I’ll say it again: I think Henry should be ashamed of himself. I can’t imagine he’ll ever get past it, arguing with poor Edward the very night before he died. Edward was definitely a better person than Henry, despite all his flaws."
"I never heard him speak a cross word, unless he spoke cross to Henry that last night. I don't know but he did from what Rebecca overheard."
"I never heard him say an angry word, unless he was upset with Henry that last night. I’m not sure, but it seems he might have from what Rebecca overheard."
"Not so much cross, as sort of soft, and sweet, and aggravating," sniffed Rebecca.
"Not really angry, more like kind of gentle, sweet, and frustrating," sniffed Rebecca.
"What do you really think ailed Edward?" asked Emma in hardly more than a whisper. She did not look at her sister.
"What do you honestly think was wrong with Edward?" Emma asked, barely above a whisper. She didn't look at her sister.
"I know you said that he had terrible pains in his stomach, and had spasms, but what do you think made him have them?"
"I know you said he had terrible stomach pains and was having spasms, but what do you think caused them?"
"Henry called it gastric trouble. You know Edward has always had dyspepsia."
"Henry referred to it as stomach issues. You know Edward has always struggled with indigestion."
Mrs. Brigham hesitated a moment. "Was there any talk of an—examination?" said she.
Mrs. Brigham hesitated for a moment. "Was there any discussion about an—exam?" she asked.
Then Caroline turned on her fiercely.
Then Caroline snapped at her fiercely.
"No," said she in a terrible voice. "No."
"No," she said in a terrible voice. "No."
The three sisters' souls seemed to meet on one common ground of terrified understanding through their eyes.
The three sisters' souls appeared to connect on a shared level of fear and understanding through their eyes.
The old-fashioned latch of the door was heard to rattle, and a push from without made the door shake ineffectually. "It's Henry," Rebecca sighed rather than whispered. Mrs. Brigham settled herself, after a noiseless rush across the floor, into her rocking-chair again, and was swaying back and forth with her head comfortably leaning back, when the door at last yielded and Henry Glynn entered. He cast a covertly sharp, comprehensive glance at Mrs. Brigham with her elaborate calm; at Rebecca quietly huddled in the corner of the sofa with her handkerchief to her face and only one small uncovered reddened ear as attentive as a dog's, and at Caroline sitting with a strained composure in her armchair by the stove. She met his eyes quite firmly with a look of inscrutable fear, and defiance of the fear and of him.
The old-fashioned latch on the door rattled, and a push from outside made it shake uselessly. "It's Henry," Rebecca sighed more than whispered. Mrs. Brigham settled back into her rocking chair after quickly gliding across the floor in silence, swaying gently with her head leaning comfortably back, when the door finally gave way and Henry Glynn walked in. He took a discreetly sharp, thorough look at Mrs. Brigham, who appeared so composed; at Rebecca, quietly curled up in the corner of the sofa, handkerchief to her face and just one small, uncovered, reddened ear perked up like a dog's; and at Caroline, sitting with strained composure in her armchair by the stove. She met his gaze steadily, her expression a mix of inscrutable fear and defiance toward both him and her fear.
Henry Glynn looked more like this sister than the others. Both had the same hard delicacy of form and aquilinity of feature. They confronted each other with the pitiless immovability of two statues in whose marble lineaments emotions were fixed for all eternity.
Henry Glynn looked more like his sister than the others. Both shared the same fragile yet sharp features and similar facial structures. They faced each other with the unyielding stillness of two statues, their emotional expressions forever frozen in time.
Then Henry Glynn smiled and the smile transformed his face. He looked suddenly years younger, and an almost boyish recklessness appeared in his face. He flung himself into a chair with a gesture which was bewildering from its incongruity with his general appearance. He leaned his head back, flung one leg over the other, and looked laughingly at Mrs. Brigham.
Then Henry Glynn smiled, and it changed his whole face. He suddenly looked years younger, and a kind of youthful mischief appeared in his expression. He threw himself into a chair in a way that seemed surprising given his usual demeanor. He leaned back, crossed one leg over the other, and looked at Mrs. Brigham with a laugh.
"I declare, Emma, you grow younger every year," he said.
"I swear, Emma, you get younger every year," he said.
She flushed a little, and her placid mouth widened at the corners. She was susceptible to praise.
She blushed a little, and the corners of her calm mouth curled up. She was easily affected by compliments.
"Our thoughts to-day ought to belong to the one of us who will never grow older," said Caroline in a hard voice.
"Our thoughts today should belong to the one of us who will never grow older," Caroline said in a harsh voice.
Henry looked at her, still smiling. "Of course, we none of us forget that," said he, in a deep, gentle voice; "but we have to speak to the living, Caroline, and I have not seen Emma for a long time, and the living are as dear as the dead."
Henry looked at her, still smiling. "Of course, we all remember that," he said in a deep, gentle voice; "but we have to talk to the living, Caroline, and I haven't seen Emma in a long time, and the living are just as dear as the dead."
"Not to me," said Caroline.
"Not to me," Caroline said.
She rose and went abruptly out of the room again. Rebecca also rose and hurried after her, sobbing loudly.
She got up and quickly left the room again. Rebecca also got up and rushed after her, crying loudly.
Henry looked slowly after them.
Henry looked slowly after them.
"Caroline is completely unstrung," said he.
"Caroline is totally on edge," he said.
Mrs. Brigham rocked. A confidence in him inspired by his manner was stealing over her. Out of that confidence she spoke quite easily and naturally.
Mrs. Brigham rocked. A sense of confidence in him, inspired by his demeanor, was washing over her. Out of that confidence, she spoke quite easily and naturally.
"His death was very sudden," said she.
"His death was really sudden," she said.
Henry's eyelids quivered slightly but his gaze was unswerving.
Henry's eyelids fluttered a bit, but his gaze was steady.
"Yes," said he, "it was very sudden. He was sick only a few hours."
"Yeah," he said, "it was really sudden. He was only sick for a few hours."
"What did you call it?"
"What do you call it?"
"Gastric."
"Gastro."
"You did not think of an examination?"
"You didn't think about a test?"
"There was no need. I am perfectly certain as to the cause of his death."
"There was no need. I'm completely sure about the cause of his death."
Suddenly Mrs. Brigham felt a creep as of some live horror over her very soul. Her flesh prickled with cold, before an inflection of his voice. She rose, tottering on weak knees.
Suddenly, Mrs. Brigham felt a chill, like some living horror, wash over her soul. Her skin prickled with cold at the sound of his voice. She stood up, her knees shaking.
"Where are you going?" asked Henry in a strange, breathless voice.
"Where are you going?" Henry asked in a strange, breathless voice.
Mrs. Brigham said something incoherent about some sewing which she had to do—some black for the funeral—and was out of the room. She went up to the front chamber which she occupied. Caroline was there. She went close to her and took her hands, and the two sisters looked at each other.
Mrs. Brigham mumbled something about some sewing she needed to do—some black for the funeral—and left the room. She went up to the front room she stayed in. Caroline was there. She moved close to her and took her hands, and the two sisters looked at each other.
"Don't speak, don't, I won't have it!" said Caroline finally in an awful whisper.
"Don't say anything, don't, I can't take it!" Caroline finally said in a terrible whisper.
"I won't," replied Emma.
"I won't," Emma replied.
That afternoon the three sisters were in the study.
That afternoon, the three sisters were in the study.
Mrs. Brigham was hemming some black material. At last she laid her work on her lap.
Mrs. Brigham was sewing the hem of some black fabric. Finally, she placed her work on her lap.
"It's no use, I cannot see to sew another stitch until we have a light," said she.
"It's no use, I can't see to sew another stitch until we have some light," she said.
Caroline, who was writing some letters at the table, turned to Rebecca, in her usual place on the sofa.
Caroline, who was writing some letters at the table, turned to Rebecca, who was in her usual spot on the sofa.
"Rebecca, you had better get a lamp," she said.
"Rebecca, you should really get a lamp," she said.
Rebecca started up; even in the dusk her face showed her agitation.
Rebecca started up; even in the dim light, her face revealed her anxiety.
"It doesn't seem to me that we need a lamp quite yet," she said in a piteous, pleading voice like a child's.
"It doesn't seem like we need a lamp just yet," she said in a sad, begging voice like a child's.
"Yes, we do," returned Mrs. Brigham peremptorily. "I can't see to sew another stitch."
"Yes, we do," Mrs. Brigham replied firmly. "I can't see to sew another stitch."
Rebecca rose and left the room. Presently she entered with a lamp. She set it on the table, an old-fashioned card-table which was placed against the opposite wall from the window. That opposite wall was taken up with three doors; the one small space was occupied by the table.
Rebecca got up and left the room. Soon, she came back with a lamp. She put it on the table, an old-fashioned card table that was positioned against the wall opposite the window. That opposite wall had three doors; the only small space was taken up by the table.
"What have you put that lamp over there for?" asked Mrs. Brigham, with more of impatience than her voice usually revealed. "Why didn't you set it in the hall, and have done with it? Neither Caroline nor I can see if it is on that table."
"What did you put that lamp over there for?" Mrs. Brigham asked, sounding more impatient than usual. "Why didn't you just put it in the hall and be done with it? Neither Caroline nor I can see if it’s on that table."
"I thought perhaps you would move," replied Rebecca hoarsely.
"I thought maybe you would move," replied Rebecca hoarsely.
"If I do move, we can't both sit at that table. Caroline has her paper all spread around. Why don't you set the lamp on the study table in the middle of the room, then we can both see?"
"If I move, we can't both sit at that table. Caroline has her paper all spread out. Why don't you put the lamp on the study table in the middle of the room, then we can both see?"
Rebecca hesitated. Her face was very pale. She looked with an appeal that was fairly agonizing at her sister Caroline.
Rebecca hesitated. Her face was very pale. She looked with an appeal that was almost unbearable at her sister Caroline.
"Why don't you put the lamp on this table, as she says?" asked Caroline, almost fiercely. "Why do you act so, Rebecca?"
"Why don't you put the lamp on this table, like she said?" Caroline asked, almost fiercely. "Why are you acting like this, Rebecca?"
Rebecca took the lamp and set it on the table in the middle of the room without another word. Then she seated herself on the sofa and placed a hand over her eyes as if to shade them, and remained so.
Rebecca picked up the lamp and put it on the table in the center of the room without saying anything else. Then she sat down on the sofa and covered her eyes with her hand as if to block the light, and stayed like that.
"Does the light hurt your eyes, and is that the reason why you didn't want the lamp?" asked Mrs. Brigham kindly.
"Does the light hurt your eyes, and is that why you didn't want the lamp?" asked Mrs. Brigham kindly.
"I always like to sit in the dark," replied Rebecca chokingly. Then she snatched her handkerchief hastily from her pocket and began to weep. Caroline continued to write, Mrs. Brigham to sew.
"I always like to sit in the dark," Rebecca replied, struggling to hold back tears. Then she quickly grabbed her handkerchief from her pocket and started to cry. Caroline kept writing, while Mrs. Brigham continued to sew.
Suddenly Mrs. Brigham as she sewed glanced at the opposite wall. The glance became a steady stare. She looked intently, her work suspended in her hands. Then she looked away again and took a few more stitches, then she looked again, and again turned to her task. At last she laid her work in her lap and stared concentratedly. She looked from the wall round the room, taking note of the various objects. Then she turned to her sisters.
Suddenly, Mrs. Brigham glanced at the opposite wall while she was sewing. The quick look turned into a steady stare. She focused intently, her work paused in her hands. Then she looked away again and took a few more stitches, only to look back once more, before returning to her task. Finally, she set her work in her lap and stared intently. She scanned the wall and then the room, noticing all the different objects. After that, she turned to her sisters.
"What is that?" said she.
"What is that?" she said.
"What?" asked Caroline harshly.
"What?" Caroline asked sharply.
"That strange shadow on the wall," replied Mrs. Brigham.
"That strange shadow on the wall," Mrs. Brigham replied.
Rebecca sat with her face hidden; Caroline dipped her pen in the inkstand.
Rebecca sat with her face hidden; Caroline dipped her pen in the inkwell.
"Why don't you turn around and look?" asked Mrs. Brigham in a wondering and somewhat aggrieved way.
"Why don't you turn around and look?" Mrs. Brigham asked, sounding curious and a bit annoyed.
"I am in a hurry to finish this letter," replied Caroline shortly.
"I’m in a hurry to finish this letter," Caroline replied quickly.
Mrs. Brigham rose, her work slipping to the floor, and began walking round the room, moving various articles of furniture, with her eyes on the shadow.
Mrs. Brigham stood up, her work falling to the floor, and started walking around the room, rearranging different pieces of furniture, her gaze fixed on the shadow.
Then suddenly she shrieked out:
Then she suddenly shrieked:
"Look at this awful shadow! What is it? Caroline, look, look! Rebecca, look! What is it?"
"Look at this scary shadow! What is it? Caroline, look, look! Rebecca, look! What is it?"
All Mrs. Brigham's triumphant placidity was gone. Her handsome face was livid with horror. She stood stiffly pointing at the shadow.
All of Mrs. Brigham's triumphant calm was gone. Her beautiful face was pale with fear. She stood rigidly, pointing at the shadow.
Then after a shuddering glance at the wall Rebecca burst out in a wild wail.
Then, after a trembling look at the wall, Rebecca broke out in a wild sob.
"Oh, Caroline, there it is again, there it is again!"
"Oh, Caroline, it's happening again, it's happening again!"
"Caroline Glynn, you look!" said Mrs. Brigham. "Look! What is that dreadful shadow?"
"Caroline Glynn, look at you!" said Mrs. Brigham. "What is that terrible shadow?"
Caroline rose, turned, and stood confronting the wall.
Caroline got up, turned around, and faced the wall.
"How should I know?" she said.
"How am I supposed to know?" she said.
"It has been there every night since he died!" cried Rebecca.
"It’s been there every night since he passed away!" cried Rebecca.
"Every night?"
"Every night?"
"Yes; he died Thursday and this is Saturday; that makes three nights," said Caroline rigidly. She stood as if holding her calm with a vise of concentrated will.
"Yes, he died on Thursday and today is Saturday; that makes three nights," Caroline said firmly. She stood like she was holding her composure with a tight grip of focused determination.
"It—it looks like—like—" stammered Mrs. Brigham in a tone of intense horror.
"It—it looks like—like—" Mrs. Brigham stammered, her voice filled with extreme horror.
"I know what it looks like well enough," said Caroline. "I've got eyes in my head."
"I know what it looks like," Caroline said. "I have eyes in my head."
"It looks like Edward," burst out Rebecca in a sort of frenzy of fear. "Only——"
"It looks like Edward," Rebecca exclaimed in a kind of panic. "But——"
"Yes, it does," assented Mrs. Brigham, whose horror-stricken tone matched her sisters', "only—Oh, it is awful! What is it, Caroline?"
"Yes, it does," agreed Mrs. Brigham, her shocked tone matching her sister's, "but—Oh, it’s terrible! What is it, Caroline?"
"I ask you again, how should I know?" replied Caroline. "I see it there like you. How should I know any more than you?"
"I ask you again, how should I know?" replied Caroline. "I see it there just like you do. How should I know any more than you?"
"It must be something in the room," said Mrs. Brigham, staring wildly around.
"It has to be something in the room," said Mrs. Brigham, looking around frantically.
"We moved everything in the room the first night it came," said Rebecca; "it is not anything in the room."
"We moved everything in the room the first night it arrived," said Rebecca; "it's not about anything in the room."
Caroline turned upon her with a sort of fury. "Of course it is something in the room," said she. "How you act! What do you mean talking so? Of course it is something in the room."
Caroline turned to her with a kind of anger. "Of course it's something in the room," she said. "Why are you acting like this? What do you mean talking like that? Of course it's something in the room."
"Of course it is," agreed Mrs. Brigham, looking at Caroline suspiciously. "It must be something in the room."
"Of course it is," Mrs. Brigham said,eyeing Caroline suspiciously. "It has to be something in the room."
"It is not anything in the room," repeated Rebecca with obstinate horror.
"It’s not anything in the room," Rebecca repeated with stubborn fear.
The door opened suddenly and Henry Glynn entered. He began to speak, then his eyes followed the direction of the others. He stood staring at the shadow on the wall.
The door swung open unexpectedly and Henry Glynn walked in. He started to say something, but then his eyes followed where the others were looking. He stood there, staring at the shadow on the wall.
"What is that?" he demanded in a strange voice.
"What is that?" he asked in a strange voice.
"It must be due to something in the room," Mrs. Brigham said faintly.
"It must be something in the room," Mrs. Brigham said softly.
Henry Glynn stood and stared a moment longer. His face showed a gamut of emotions. Horror, conviction, then furious incredulity. Suddenly he began hastening hither and thither about the room. He moved the furniture with fierce jerks, turning ever to see the effect upon the shadow on the wall. Not a line of its terrible outlines wavered.
Henry Glynn stood and stared for a moment longer. His face showed a range of emotions: horror, determination, and then furious disbelief. Suddenly, he started rushing around the room. He moved the furniture with intense movements, constantly turning to see how it affected the shadow on the wall. Not a single part of its terrifying shape shifted.
"It must be something in the room!" he declared in a voice which seemed to snap like a lash.
"It has to be something in this room!" he shouted, his voice sharp like a whip.
His face changed, the inmost secrecy of his nature seemed evident upon his face, until one almost lost sight of his lineaments. Rebecca stood close to her sofa, regarding him with woeful, fascinated eyes. Mrs. Brigham clutched Caroline's hand. They both stood in a corner out of his way. For a few moments he raged about the room like a caged wild animal. He moved every piece of furniture; when the moving of a piece did not affect the shadow he flung it to the floor.
His expression shifted, the deepest truths of his character became clear on his face, almost obscuring his features. Rebecca stood near her sofa, watching him with sorrowful, captivated eyes. Mrs. Brigham grabbed Caroline's hand. They both stood in a corner, trying to stay out of his way. For a few moments, he stormed around the room like a trapped wild animal. He moved every piece of furniture; if moving a piece didn't change the shadow he cast, he threw it to the floor.
Then suddenly he desisted. He laughed.
Then suddenly he stopped. He laughed.
"What an absurdity," he said easily. "Such a to-do about a shadow."
"What a ridiculous situation," he said casually. "All this fuss over a shadow."
"That's so," assented Mrs. Brigham, in a scared voice which she tried to make natural. As she spoke she lifted a chair near her.
"That's right," Mrs. Brigham agreed, her voice shaky as she tried to sound casual. As she spoke, she picked up a chair next to her.
"I think you have broken the chair that Edward was fond of," said Caroline.
"I think you broke the chair that Edward liked," said Caroline.
Terror and wrath were struggling for expression on her face. Her mouth was set, her eyes shrinking. Henry lifted the chair with a show of anxiety.
Terror and anger were battling to show on her face. Her mouth was tight, her eyes narrowing. Henry picked up the chair, clearly anxious.
"Just as good as ever," he said pleasantly. He laughed again, looking at his sisters. "Did I scare you?" he said. "I should think you might be used to me by this time. You know my way of wanting to leap to the bottom of a mystery, and that shadow does look—queer, like—and I thought if there was any way of accounting for it I would like to without any delay."
"Just as good as ever," he said cheerfully. He laughed again, glancing at his sisters. "Did I scare you?" he asked. "I figured you might be used to me by now. You know how I always want to dive straight into a mystery, and that shadow does look strange, right? I thought if there was any way to explain it, I’d want to do it right away."
"You don't seem to have succeeded," remarked Caroline dryly, with a slight glance at the wall.
"You don't seem to have succeeded," Caroline said flatly, casting a brief glance at the wall.
Henry's eyes followed hers and he quivered perceptibly.
Henry's eyes met hers, and he noticeably shivered.
"Oh, there is no accounting for shadows," he said, and he laughed again. "A man is a fool to try to account for shadows."
"Oh, you can't make sense of shadows," he said, and he laughed again. "A person is a fool to try to make sense of shadows."
Then the supper bell rang, and they all left the room, but Henry kept his back to the wall—as did, indeed, the others.
Then the dinner bell rang, and they all left the room, but Henry kept his back against the wall—just like the others.
Henry led the way with an alert motion like a boy; Rebecca brought up the rear. She could scarcely walk, her knees trembled so.
Henry walked ahead with a quick, attentive movement like a young boy; Rebecca followed behind. She could barely walk, her knees were shaking so much.
"I can't sit in that room again this evening," she whispered to Caroline after supper.
"I can't sit in that room again tonight," she whispered to Caroline after dinner.
"Very well; we will sit in the south room," replied Caroline. "I think we will sit in the south parlor," she said aloud; "it isn't as damp as the study, and I have a cold."
"Alright; we'll sit in the south room," Caroline replied. "I think we'll sit in the south parlor," she said out loud; "it’s not as damp as the study, and I have a cold."
So they all sat in the south room with their sewing. Henry read the newspaper, his chair drawn close to the lamp on the table. About nine o'clock he rose abruptly and crossed the hall to the study. The three sisters looked at one another. Mrs. Brigham rose, folded her rustling skirts compactly round her, and began tiptoeing toward the door.
So they all sat in the south room with their sewing. Henry read the newspaper, his chair pulled close to the lamp on the table. Around nine o'clock, he suddenly stood up and walked across the hall to the study. The three sisters exchanged glances. Mrs. Brigham got up, neatly folded her rustling skirts around herself, and started quietly heading toward the door.
"What are you going to do?" inquired Rebecca agitatedly.
"What are you going to do?" Rebecca asked anxiously.
"I am going to see what he is about," replied Mrs. Brigham cautiously.
"I’m going to find out what he’s all about," replied Mrs. Brigham cautiously.
As she spoke she pointed to the study door across the hall; it was ajar. Henry had striven to pull it together behind him, but it had somehow swollen beyond the limit with curious speed. It was still ajar and a streak of light showed from top to bottom.
As she spoke, she pointed to the study door across the hall; it was slightly open. Henry had tried to close it behind him, but it had somehow swelled quickly beyond its limit. It was still ajar, and a strip of light shone through from top to bottom.
Mrs. Brigham folded her skirts so tightly that her bulk with its swelling curves was revealed in a black silk sheath, and she went with a slow toddle across the hall to the study door. She stood there, her eye at the crack.
Mrs. Brigham folded her skirts so tightly that her figure, with its curvy shape, was shown off in a black silk dress, and she walked slowly across the hall to the study door. She paused there, peering through the crack.
In the south room Rebecca stopped sewing and sat watching with dilated eyes. Caroline sewed steadily. What Mrs. Brigham, standing at the crack in the study door, saw was this:
In the south room, Rebecca stopped sewing and sat watching with wide eyes. Caroline sewed steadily. What Mrs. Brigham, standing at the crack in the study door, saw was this:
Henry Glynn, evidently reasoning that the source of the strange shadow must be between the table on which the lamp stood and the wall, was making systematic passes and thrusts with an old sword which had belonged to his father all over and through the intervening space. Not an inch was left unpierced. He seemed to have divided the space into mathematical sections. He brandished the sword with a sort of cold fury and calculation; the blade gave out flashes of light, the shadow remained unmoved. Mrs. Brigham, watching, felt herself cold with horror.
Henry Glynn, clearly thinking that the strange shadow must be between the table the lamp was on and the wall, was making deliberate swings and jabs with an old sword that had belonged to his father all over the empty space. Not a single inch was left untouched. It looked like he had split the area into precise sections. He waved the sword with a mix of cold anger and focus; the blade sparkled with light, but the shadow stayed still. Mrs. Brigham, observing this, felt a chill of horror.
Finally Henry ceased and stood with the sword in hand and raised as if to strike, surveying the shadow on the wall threateningly. Mrs. Brigham toddled back across the hall and shut the south room door behind her before she related what she had seen.
Finally, Henry stopped and stood with the sword held up as if to strike, glaring at the shadow on the wall. Mrs. Brigham walked back across the hall and shut the south room door behind her before she shared what she had seen.
"He looked like a demon," she said again. "Have you got any of that old wine in the house, Caroline? I don't feel as if I could stand much more."
"He looked like a monster," she said again. "Do you have any of that old wine at home, Caroline? I don't think I can handle much more."
"Yes, there's plenty," said Caroline; "you can have some when you go to bed."
"Yes, there's plenty," Caroline said. "You can have some when you go to bed."
"I think we had all better take some," said Mrs. Brigham. "Oh, Caroline, what——"
"I think we all should take some," said Mrs. Brigham. "Oh, Caroline, what——"
"Don't ask; don't speak," said Caroline.
"Don't ask; don't say anything," Caroline said.
"No, I'm not going to," replied Mrs. Brigham; "but——"
"No, I'm not going to," Mrs. Brigham replied; "but——"
Soon the three sisters went to their chambers and the south parlor was deserted. Caroline called to Henry in the study to put out the light before he came upstairs. They had been gone about an hour when he came into the room bringing the lamp which had stood in the study. He set it on the table, and waited a few minutes, pacing up and down. His face was terrible, his fair complexion showed livid, and his blue eyes seemed dark blanks of awful reflections.
Soon, the three sisters went to their rooms, leaving the south parlor empty. Caroline shouted to Henry in the study to turn off the light before he came upstairs. About an hour later, he entered the room carrying the lamp that had been in the study. He placed it on the table and paced back and forth for a few minutes. His face looked horrible, his fair skin appeared pale, and his blue eyes seemed like dark voids filled with dread.
Then he took up the lamp and returned to the library. He set the lamp on the center table and the shadow sprang out on the wall. Again he studied the furniture and moved it about, but deliberately, with none of his former frenzy. Nothing affected the shadow. Then he returned to the south room with the lamp and again waited. Again he returned to the study and placed the lamp on the table, and the shadow sprang out upon the wall. It was midnight before he went upstairs. Mrs. Brigham and the other sisters, who could not sleep, heard him.
Then he picked up the lamp and went back to the library. He placed the lamp on the center table, and the shadow leaped onto the wall. Again, he examined the furniture and rearranged it, but this time thoughtfully, without the previous urgency. The shadow was unaffected. Then he went back to the south room with the lamp and waited again. He returned to the study, set the lamp on the table once more, and the shadow jumped on the wall. It was midnight before he went upstairs. Mrs. Brigham and the other sisters, who couldn't sleep, heard him.
The next day was the funeral. That evening the family sat in the south room. Some relatives were with them. Nobody entered the study until Henry carried a lamp in there after the others had retired for the night. He saw again the shadow on the wall leap to an awful life before the light.
The next day was the funeral. That evening, the family sat in the south room. Some relatives were with them. Nobody went into the study until Henry brought a lamp in after the others had turned in for the night. He saw the shadow on the wall spring to a horrifying life in front of the light.
The next morning at breakfast Henry Glynn announced that he had to go to the city for three days. The sisters looked at him with surprise. He very seldom left home, and just now his practice had been neglected on account of Edward's death.
The next morning at breakfast, Henry Glynn announced that he had to go to the city for three days. The sisters looked at him in surprise. He rarely left home, and his practice had been neglected lately due to Edward's death.
"How can you leave your patients now?" asked Mrs. Brigham wonderingly.
"How can you leave your patients now?" asked Mrs. Brigham, filled with curiosity.
"I don't know how to, but there is no other way," replied Henry easily. "I have had a telegram from Dr. Mitford."
"I don't know how to do it, but there's no other option," Henry said casually. "I got a telegram from Dr. Mitford."
"Consultation?" inquired Mrs. Brigham.
"Consultation?" asked Mrs. Brigham.
"I have business," replied Henry.
"I have work," replied Henry.
Doctor Mitford was an old classmate of his who lived in a neighboring city and who occasionally called upon him in the case of a consultation.
Doctor Mitford was an old classmate of his who lived in a nearby city and sometimes came to him for consultations.
After he had gone, Mrs. Brigham said to Caroline that, after all, Henry had not said that he was going to consult with Doctor Mitford, and she thought it very strange.
After he left, Mrs. Brigham told Caroline that, after all, Henry hadn’t said he was going to talk to Doctor Mitford, and she found it very strange.
"Everything is very strange," said Rebecca with a shudder.
"Everything is so strange," said Rebecca with a shudder.
"What do you mean?" inquired Caroline.
"What do you mean?" Caroline asked.
"Nothing," replied Rebecca.
"Nothing," Rebecca replied.
Nobody entered the study that day, nor the next. The third day Henry was expected home, but he did not arrive and the last train from the city had come.
Nobody went into the study that day or the next. On the third day, Henry was supposed to come home, but he didn’t show up, and the last train from the city had arrived.
"I call it pretty queer work," said Mrs. Brigham. "The idea of a doctor leaving his patients at such a time as this, and the idea of a consultation lasting three days! There is no sense in it, and now he has not come. I don't understand it, for my part."
"I think it's really strange," said Mrs. Brigham. "The idea of a doctor abandoning his patients at a time like this, and a consultation lasting three days! It doesn't make any sense, and now he still hasn't shown up. I just don't get it."
"I don't either," said Rebecca.
"I don't either," Rebecca said.
They were all in the south parlor. There was no light in the study; the door was ajar.
They were all in the south parlor. There was no light in the study; the door was slightly open.
Presently Mrs. Brigham rose—she could not have told why; something seemed to impel her—some will outside her own. She went out of the room, again wrapping her rustling skirts round that she might pass noiselessly, and began pushing at the swollen door of the study.
Presently, Mrs. Brigham stood up—she couldn't quite say why; something seemed to push her—some force beyond her control. She left the room, again wrapping her rustling skirts around her so she could pass quietly, and started pushing at the swollen door of the study.
"She has not got any lamp," said Rebecca in a shaking voice.
"She doesn't have any lamp," said Rebecca in a shaky voice.
Caroline, who was writing letters, rose again, took the only remaining lamp in the room, and followed her sister. Rebecca had risen, but she stood trembling, not venturing to follow.
Caroline, who was writing letters, stood up again, grabbed the only lamp left in the room, and went after her sister. Rebecca had stood up, but she was shaking, too afraid to follow.
The doorbell rang, but the others did not hear it; it was on the south door on the other side of the house from the study. Rebecca, after hesitating until the bell rang the second time, went to the door; she remembered that the servant was out.
The doorbell rang, but the others didn't hear it; it was at the south door on the other side of the house from the study. Rebecca, after hesitating until the bell rang a second time, went to the door; she remembered that the servant was out.
Caroline and her sister Emma entered the study. Caroline set the lamp on the table. They looked at the wall, and there were two shadows. The sisters stood clutching each other, staring at the awful things on the wall. Then Rebecca came in, staggering, with a telegram in her hand. "Here is—a telegram," she gasped. "Henry is—dead."
Caroline and her sister Emma walked into the study. Caroline placed the lamp on the table. They glanced at the wall, where there were two shadows. The sisters stood holding onto each other, staring at the horrifying images on the wall. Then Rebecca came in, swaying, with a telegram in her hand. "Here's a telegram," she gasped. "Henry is dead."
The Messenger
By ROBERT W. CHAMBERSBy Robert W. Chambers
Little gray messenger,
Little gray messenger,
Robed like painted Death,
Dressed like a painted Death,
Your robe is dust.
Your robe is dusty.
Whom do you seek
Who are you looking for?
Among lilies and closed buds
Among lilies and closed buds
At dusk?
At sunset?
Among lilies and closed buds
Among lilies and closed blooms
At dusk,
At twilight,
Whom do you seek,
Who are you looking for,
Little gray messenger,
Little gray messenger,
Robed in the awful panoply
Dressed in the terrible outfit
Of painted Death?
Of illustrated Death?
R.W.C.
R.W.C.
From The Mystery of Choice, by Robert W. Chambers. Published, 1897, by D. Appleton and Company. Copyright by Robert W. Chambers. By permission of Robert W. Chambers.
From The Mystery of Choice, by Robert W. Chambers. Published, 1897, by D. Appleton and Company. Copyright by Robert W. Chambers. By permission of Robert W. Chambers.
All-wise,
All-knowing,
Hast thou seen all there is to see with thy two eyes?
Have you seen everything there is to see with your two eyes?
Dost thou know all there is to know, and so,
Dost thou know all there is to know, and so,
Omniscient,
All-knowing,
Darest thou still to say thy brother lies?
Do you still dare to say your brother is lying?
R.W.C.
R.W.C.
I
"The bullet entered here," said Max Fortin, and he placed his middle finger over a smooth hole exactly in the center of the forehead.
"The bullet entered here," said Max Fortin, placing his middle finger over a smooth hole right in the middle of the forehead.
I sat down upon a mound of dry seaweed and unslung my fowling piece.
I sat down on a pile of dry seaweed and took off my shotgun.
The little chemist cautiously felt the edges of the shot-hole, first with his middle finger, and then with his thumb.
The little chemist carefully touched the edges of the shot-hole, first with his middle finger and then with his thumb.
"Let me see the skull again," said I.
"Can I see the skull again?" I said.
Max Fortin picked it up from the sod.
Max Fortin picked it up from the ground.
"It's like all the others," he repeated, wiping his glasses on his handkerchief. "I thought you might care to see one of the skulls, so I brought this over from the gravel pit. The men from Bannalec are digging yet. They ought to stop."
"It's like all the others," he said again, cleaning his glasses with his handkerchief. "I thought you might want to see one of the skulls, so I brought this over from the gravel pit. The guys from Bannalec are still digging. They should really stop."
"How many skulls are there altogether?" I inquired.
"How many skulls are there in total?" I asked.
"They found thirty-eight skulls; there are thirty-nine noted in the list. They lie piled up in the gravel pit on the edge of Le Bihan's wheat field. The men are at work yet. Le Bihan is going to stop them."
"They found thirty-eight skulls; there are thirty-nine listed. They are stacked in the gravel pit on the edge of Le Bihan's wheat field. The men are still working. Le Bihan is going to put a stop to it."
"Let's go over," said I; and I picked up my gun and started across the cliffs, Portin on one side, Môme on the other.
"Let’s head over," I said; and I grabbed my gun and started across the cliffs, Portin on one side, Môme on the other.
"Who has the list?" I asked, lighting my pipe. "You say there is a list?"
"Who has the list?" I asked, lighting my pipe. "You say there's a list?"
"The list was found rolled up in a brass cylinder," said the chemist. He added: "You should not smoke here. You know that if a single spark drifted into the wheat—"
"The list was found rolled up in a brass tube," said the chemist. He added, "You shouldn't smoke here. You know that if even one spark drifted into the wheat—"
"Ah, but I have a cover to my pipe," said I, smiling.
"Ah, but I have a cover for my pipe," I said, smiling.
Fortin watched me as I closed the pepper-box arrangement over the glowing bowl of the pipe. Then he continued:
Fortin watched me as I put the pepper-box arrangement back over the glowing bowl of the pipe. Then he went on:
"The list was made out on thick yellow paper; the brass tube has preserved it. It is as fresh to-day as it was in 1760. You shall see it."
"The list was written on thick yellow paper; the brass tube has kept it safe. It looks as fresh today as it did in 1760. You'll see it."
"Is that the date?"
"Is that the date?"
"The list is dated 'April, 1760.' The Brigadier Durand has it. It is not written in French."
"The list is dated 'April, 1760.' Brigadier Durand has it. It isn't written in French."
"Not written in French!" I exclaimed.
"Not in French!" I said.
"No," replied Fortin solemnly, "it is written in Breton."
"No," Fortin replied seriously, "it's written in Breton."
"But," I protested, "the Breton language was never written or printed in 1760."
"But," I argued, "the Breton language was never written down or printed in 1760."
"Except by priests," said the chemist.
"Except by priests," said the chemist.
"I have heard of but one priest who ever wrote the Breton language," I began.
"I've only heard of one priest who ever wrote in Breton," I started.
Fortin stole a glance at my face.
Fortin looked at my face.
"You mean—the Black Priest?" he asked.
"You mean—the Black Priest?" he asked.
I nodded.
I agreed.
Fortin opened his mouth to speak again, hesitated, and finally shut his teeth obstinately over the wheat stem that he was chewing.
Fortin opened his mouth to speak again, hesitated, and finally clamped his teeth stubbornly over the wheat stem he was chewing.
"And the Black Priest?" I suggested encouragingly. But I knew it was useless; for it is easier to move the stars from their courses than to make an obstinate Breton talk. We walked on for a minute or two in silence.
"And the Black Priest?" I said encouragingly. But I knew it was pointless; it's easier to move the stars from their paths than to get a stubborn Breton to talk. We walked in silence for a minute or two.
"Where is the Brigadier Durand?" I asked, motioning Môme to come out of the wheat, which he was trampling as though it were heather. As I spoke we came in sight of the farther edge of the wheat field and the dark, wet mass of cliffs beyond.
"Where's Brigadier Durand?" I asked, signaling Môme to step out of the wheat he was crushing like it was heather. As I spoke, we reached the far edge of the wheat field and saw the dark, wet mass of cliffs in the distance.
"Durand is down there—you can see him; he stands just behind the mayor of St. Gildas."
"Durand is down there—you can see him; he’s standing just behind the mayor of St. Gildas."
"I see," said I; and we struck straight down, following a sun-baked cattle path across the heather.
"I see," I said; and we went straight down, following a sun-baked cattle path through the heather.
When we reached the edge of the wheat field, Le Bihan, the mayor of St. Gildas, called to me, and I tucked my gun under my arm and skirted the wheat to where he stood.
When we got to the edge of the wheat field, Le Bihan, the mayor of St. Gildas, called out to me, so I tucked my gun under my arm and walked around the wheat to where he was standing.
"Thirty-eight skulls," he said in his thin, high-pitched voice; "there is but one more, and I am opposed to further search. I suppose Fortin told you?"
"Thirty-eight skulls," he said in his thin, high-pitched voice; "there's just one more, and I'm against looking any further. I assume Fortin told you?"
I shook hands with him, and returned the salute of the Brigadier Durand.
I shook hands with him and returned the salute to Brigadier Durand.
"I am opposed to further search," repeated Le Bihan, nervously picking at the mass of silver buttons which covered the front of his velvet and broadcloth jacket like a breastplate of scale armor.
"I don't support any more searching," Le Bihan repeated, nervously fidgeting with the cluster of silver buttons that decorated the front of his velvet and broadcloth jacket like a suit of scale armor.
Durand pursed up his lips, twisted his tremendous mustache, and hooked his thumbs in his saber belt.
Durand puckered his lips, twirled his impressive mustache, and tucked his thumbs into his saber belt.
"As for me," he said, "I am in favor of further search."
"As for me," he said, "I support continuing the search."
"Further search for what—for the thirty-ninth skull?" I asked.
"What's the point of searching for the thirty-ninth skull?" I asked.
Le Bihan nodded. Durand frowned at the sunlit sea, rocking like a bowl of molten gold from the cliffs to the horizon. I followed his eyes. On the dark glistening cliffs, silhouetted against the glare of the sea, sat a cormorant, black, motionless, its horrible head raised toward heaven.
Le Bihan nodded. Durand frowned at the sunlit sea, swaying like a bowl of molten gold from the cliffs to the horizon. I followed his gaze. On the dark, shining cliffs, outlined against the bright sea, sat a cormorant, black, still, its ugly head raised toward the sky.
"Where is that list, Durand?" I asked.
"Where's that list, Durand?" I asked.
The gendarme rummaged in his despatch pouch and produced a brass cylinder about a foot long. Very gravely he unscrewed the head and dumped out a scroll of thick yellow paper closely covered with writing on both sides. At a nod from Le Bihan he handed me the scroll. But I could make nothing of the coarse writing, now faded to a dull brown.
The officer searched through his dispatch pouch and pulled out a brass cylinder about a foot long. Seriously, he unscrewed the top and emptied a scroll of thick yellow paper that was covered in writing on both sides. At Le Bihan's nod, he handed me the scroll. But I couldn’t understand the rough writing, which had now faded to a dull brown.
"Come, come, Le Bihan," I said impatiently, "translate it, won't you? You and Max Fortin make a lot of mystery out of nothing, it seems."
"Come on, Le Bihan," I said impatiently, "just translate it, will you? You and Max Fortin are making a big deal out of nothing, it seems."
Le Bihan went to the edge of the pit where the three Bannalec men were digging, gave an order or two in Breton, and turned to me.
Le Bihan went to the edge of the pit where the three Bannalec men were digging, gave a couple of orders in Breton, and turned to me.
As I came to the edge of the pit the Bannalec men were removing a square piece of sailcloth from what appeared to be a pile of cobblestones.
As I reached the edge of the pit, the Bannalec men were taking a square piece of sailcloth from what looked like a pile of cobblestones.
"Look!" said Le Bihan shrilly. I looked. The pile below was a heap of skulls. After a moment I clambered down the gravel sides of the pit and walked over to the men of Bannalec. They saluted me gravely, leaning on their picks and shovels, and wiping their sweating faces with sunburned hands.
"Look!" Le Bihan shouted. I looked. The pile below was a mound of skulls. After a moment, I climbed down the gravel sides of the pit and walked over to the men of Bannalec. They greeted me seriously, resting on their picks and shovels, and wiping their sweaty faces with sunburned hands.
"How many?" said I in Breton.
"How many?" I asked in Breton.
"Thirty-eight," they replied.
"38," they replied.
I glanced around. Beyond the heap of skulls lay two piles of human bones. Beside these was a mound of broken, rusted bits of iron and steel. Looking closer, I saw that this mound was composed of rusty bayonets, saber blades, scythe blades, with here and there a tarnished buckle attached to a bit of leather hard as iron.
I looked around. Beyond the pile of skulls were two stacks of human bones. Next to these was a heap of broken, rusted pieces of iron and steel. Looking closer, I noticed that this heap was made up of rusty bayonets, saber blades, and scythe blades, with a few tarnished buckles still attached to pieces of leather that were as hard as iron.
I picked up a couple of buttons and a belt plate. The buttons bore the royal arms of England; the belt plate was emblazoned with the English arms and also with the number "27."
I picked up a couple of buttons and a belt plate. The buttons had the royal arms of England on them; the belt plate was decorated with the English arms and also had the number "27."
"I have heard my grandfather speak of the terrible English regiment, the 27th Foot, which landed and stormed the fort up there," said one of the Bannalec men.
"I've heard my grandfather talk about the terrible English regiment, the 27th Foot, that landed and attacked the fort up there," said one of the Bannalec men.
"Oh!" said I; "then these are the bones of English soldiers?"
"Oh!" I said, "so these are the bones of English soldiers?"
"Yes," said the men of Bannalec.
"Yeah," said the men of Bannalec.
Le Bihan was calling to me from the edge of the pit above, and I handed the belt plate and buttons to the men and climbed the side of the excavation.
Le Bihan was calling to me from the edge of the pit above, and I handed the belt plate and buttons to the guys and climbed up the side of the excavation.
"Well," said I, trying to prevent Môme from leaping up and licking my face as I emerged from the pit, "I suppose you know what these bones are. What are you going to do with them?"
"Well," I said, trying to stop Môme from jumping up and licking my face as I climbed out of the pit, "I guess you know what these bones are. What are you going to do with them?"
"There was a man," said Le Bihan angrily, "an Englishman, who passed here in a dog-cart on his way to Quimper about an hour ago, and what do you suppose he wished to do?"
"There was a man," Le Bihan said angrily, "an Englishman, who drove by here in a dog-cart on his way to Quimper about an hour ago, and what do you think he wanted to do?"
"Buy the relics?" I asked, smiling.
"Buy the relics?" I asked with a smile.
"Exactly—the pig!" piped the mayor of St. Gildas. "Jean Marie Tregunc, who found the bones, was standing there where Max Fortin stands, and do you know what he answered? He spat upon the ground, and said: 'Pig of an Englishman, do you take me for a desecrator of graves?'"
"Exactly—the pig!" shouted the mayor of St. Gildas. "Jean Marie Tregunc, who discovered the bones, was standing right where Max Fortin is now, and do you know what he said? He spat on the ground and said: 'You English pig, do you think I'm a grave desecrator?'"
I knew Tregunc, a sober, blue-eyed Breton, who lived from one year's end to the other without being able to afford a single bit of meat for a meal.
I knew Tregunc, a serious, blue-eyed Breton, who lived from one year to the next without being able to afford even a little bit of meat for a meal.
"How much did the Englishman offer Tregunc?" I asked.
"How much did the Englishman offer Tregunc?" I asked.
"Two hundred francs for the skulls alone."
"Two hundred francs just for the skulls."
I thought of the relic hunters and the relic buyers on the battlefields of our civil war.
I thought about the people searching for relics and the buyers on the battlefields of our civil war.
"Seventeen hundred and sixty is long ago," I said.
"Seventeen hundred and sixty was a long time ago," I said.
"Respect for the dead can never die," said Fortin.
"Respect for the dead never fades," said Fortin.
"And the English soldiers came here to kill your fathers and burn your homes," I continued.
"And the English soldiers came here to kill your fathers and burn your homes," I continued.
"They were murderers and thieves, but—they are dead," said Tregunc, coming up from the beach below, his long sea rake balanced on his dripping jersey.
"They were killers and criminals, but—they're dead," said Tregunc, walking up from the beach below, his long sea rake balanced on his wet jersey.
"How much do you earn every year, Jean Marie?" I asked, turning to shake hands with him.
"How much do you make each year, Jean Marie?" I asked, turning to shake hands with him.
"Two hundred and twenty francs, monsieur."
"Two hundred and twenty francs, sir."
"Forty-five dollars a year," I said. "Bah! you are worth more, Jean. Will you take care of my garden for me? My wife wished me to ask you. I think it would be worth one hundred francs a month to you and to me. Come on, Le Bihan—come along, Fortin—and you, Durand. I want somebody to translate that list into French for me."
"Forty-five dollars a year," I said. "Come on! You're worth more than that, Jean. Will you take care of my garden for me? My wife asked me to bring it up. I think it would be worth a hundred francs a month for both of us. Come on, Le Bihan—let’s go, Fortin—and you, Durand. I need someone to translate that list into French for me."
Tregunc stood gazing at me, his blue eyes dilated.
Tregunc stared at me, his blue eyes wide open.
"You may begin at once," I said, smiling, "if the salary suits you?"
"You can start right away," I said with a smile, "if the salary works for you?"
"It suits," said Tregunc, fumbling for his pipe in a silly way that annoyed Le Bihan.
"It fits," said Tregunc, awkwardly searching for his pipe in a way that irritated Le Bihan.
"Then go and begin your work," cried the mayor impatiently; and Tregunc started across the moors toward St. Gildas, taking off his velvet-ribboned cap to me and gripping his sea rake very hard.
"Then go and start your work," the mayor shouted impatiently; and Tregunc headed across the moors toward St. Gildas, tipping his velvet-ribboned cap to me and gripping his sea rake tightly.
"You offer him more than my salary," said the mayor, after a moment's contemplation of his silver buttons.
"You’re offering him more than my salary," the mayor said, after thinking for a moment about his silver buttons.
"Pooh!" said I, "what do you do for your salary except play dominoes with Max Portin at the Groix Inn?"
"Pooh!" I said, "what do you do for your salary besides play dominoes with Max Portin at the Groix Inn?"
Le Bihan turned red, but Durand rattled his saber and winked at Max Fortin, and I slipped my arm through the arm of the sulky magistrate, laughing.
Le Bihan blushed, but Durand shook his saber and winked at Max Fortin, while I linked my arm with the grumpy magistrate, laughing.
"There's a shady spot under the cliff," I said; "come on, Le Bihan, and read me what is in the scroll."
"There's a shady spot under the cliff," I said; "come on, Le Bihan, and read me what's in the scroll."
In a few moments we reached the shadow of the cliff, and I threw myself upon the turf, chin on hand, to listen.
In just a few moments, we reached the shade of the cliff, and I lay down on the grass, resting my chin on my hand, to listen.
The gendarme, Durand, also sat down, twisting his mustache into needlelike points. Fortin leaned against the cliff, polishing his glasses and examining us with vague, near-sighted eyes; and Le Bihan, the mayor, planted himself in our midst, rolling up the scroll and tucking it under his arm.
The officer, Durand, also took a seat, twisting his mustache into sharp points. Fortin leaned against the cliff, cleaning his glasses and looking at us with his blurry, near-sighted eyes; and Le Bihan, the mayor, positioned himself among us, rolling up the scroll and tucking it under his arm.
"First of all," he began in a shrill voice, "I am going to light my pipe, and while lighting it I shall tell you what I have heard about the attack on the fort yonder. My father told me; his father told him."
"First of all," he started in a high-pitched voice, "I'm going to light my pipe, and while I do that, I'll share what I've heard about the attack on the fort over there. My dad told me; his dad told him."
He jerked his head in the direction of the ruined fort, a small, square stone structure on the sea cliff, now nothing but crumbling walls. Then he slowly produced a tobacco pouch, a bit of flint and tinder, and a long-stemmed pipe fitted with a microscopical bowl of baked clay. To fill such a pipe requires ten minutes' close attention. To smoke it to a finish takes but four puffs. It is very Breton, this Breton pipe. It is the crystallization of everything Breton.
He nodded toward the ruined fort, a small, square stone building on the cliff by the sea, now just crumbling walls. Then he slowly took out a tobacco pouch, some flint and tinder, and a long-stemmed pipe with a tiny bowl made of baked clay. Filling this type of pipe takes about ten minutes of careful attention. Smoking it all the way through only requires four puffs. This pipe is very much a part of Breton culture; it represents everything Breton.
"Go on," said I, lighting a cigarette.
"Go ahead," I said, lighting a cigarette.
"The fort," said the mayor, "was built by Louis XIV, and was dismantled twice by the English. Louis XV restored it in 1730. In 1760 it was carried by assault by the English. They came across from the island of Groix—three shiploads, and they stormed the fort and sacked St. Julien yonder, and they started to burn St. Gildas—you can see the marks of their bullets on my house yet; but the men of Bannalec and the men of Lorient fell upon them with pike and scythe and blunderbuss, and those who did not run away lie there below in the gravel pit now—thirty-eight of them."
"The fort," the mayor said, "was built by Louis XIV and was taken down twice by the English. Louis XV restored it in 1730. In 1760, the English attacked and captured it. They came over from the island of Groix with three shiploads, stormed the fort, sacked St. Julien over there, and started burning St. Gildas—you can still see the marks of their bullets on my house; but the men from Bannalec and the men from Lorient charged at them with pikes, sickles, and blunderbusses, and those who didn’t flee are now buried in the gravel pit down there—thirty-eight of them."
"And the thirty-ninth skull?" I asked, finishing my cigarette.
"And what about the thirty-ninth skull?" I asked, finishing my cigarette.
The mayor had succeeded in filling his pipe, and now he began to put his tobacco pouch away.
The mayor had successfully filled his pipe, and now he started to put his tobacco pouch away.
"The thirty-ninth skull," he mumbled, holding the pipe stem between his defective teeth—"the thirty-ninth skull is no business of mine. I have told the Bannalec men to cease digging."
"The thirty-ninth skull," he mumbled, holding the pipe stem between his bad teeth—"the thirty-ninth skull is none of my concern. I've told the Bannalec guys to stop digging."
"But what is—whose is the missing skull?" I persisted curiously.
"But what is—whose is the missing skull?" I asked, curious.
The mayor was busy trying to strike a spark to his tinder. Presently he set it aglow, applied it to his pipe, took the prescribed four puffs, knocked the ashes out of the bowl, and gravely replaced the pipe in his pocket.
The mayor was busy trying to ignite his tinder. Soon he got it glowing, lit his pipe, took the recommended four puffs, emptied the ashes from the bowl, and seriously put the pipe back in his pocket.
"The missing skull?" he asked.
"Where's the missing skull?" he asked.
"Yes," said I, impatiently.
"Yes," I said, impatiently.
The mayor slowly unrolled the scroll and began to read, translating from the Breton into French. And this is what he read:
The mayor carefully unrolled the scroll and started to read, translating from Breton to French. And this is what he read:
"On the Cliffs of St. Gildas,
April 13, 1760.
On the Cliffs of St. Gildas,
April 13, 1760.
"On this day, by order of the Count of Soisic, general in chief of the Breton forces now lying in Kerselec Forest, the bodies of thirty-eight English soldiers of the 27th, 50th, and 72d regiments of Foot were buried in this spot, together with their arms and equipments."
"On this day, by order of the Count of Soisic, chief general of the Breton forces currently stationed in Kerselec Forest, the bodies of thirty-eight English soldiers from the 27th, 50th, and 72nd regiments of Foot were buried here, along with their weapons and equipment."
The mayor paused and glanced at me reflectively.
The mayor paused and looked at me thoughtfully.
"Go on, Le Bihan," I said.
"Go ahead, Le Bihan," I said.
"With them," continued the mayor, turning the scroll and reading on the other side, "was buried the body of that vile traitor who betrayed the fort to the English. The manner of his death was as follows: By order of the most noble Count of Soisic, the traitor was first branded upon the forehead with the brand of an arrowhead. The iron burned through the flesh and was pressed heavily so that the brand should even burn into the bone of the skull. The traitor was then led out and bidden to kneel. He admitted having guided the English from the island of Groix. Although a priest and a Frenchman, he had violated his priestly office to aid him in discovering the password to the fort. This password he extorted during confession from a young Breton girl who was in the habit of rowing across from the island of Groix to visit her husband in the fort. When the fort fell, this young girl, crazed by the death of her husband, sought the Count of Soisic and told how the priest had forced her to confess to him all she knew about the fort. The priest was arrested at St. Gildas as he was about to cross the river to Lorient. When arrested he cursed the girl, Marie Trevec——"
"With them," continued the mayor, turning the scroll and reading on the other side, "was buried the body of that despicable traitor who betrayed the fort to the English. His death happened like this: By order of the most noble Count of Soisic, the traitor was first branded on the forehead with the mark of an arrowhead. The iron burned through his skin and was pressed down hard so that the mark even burned into the bone of his skull. The traitor was then taken out and ordered to kneel. He confessed to guiding the English from the island of Groix. Even though he was a priest and a Frenchman, he abused his position to help find out the password to the fort. He got this password during confession from a young Breton girl who regularly rowed across from the island of Groix to see her husband in the fort. When the fort was taken, this young girl, driven mad by her husband's death, went to the Count of Soisic and revealed how the priest had forced her to tell him everything she knew about the fort. The priest was arrested at St. Gildas just as he was about to cross the river to Lorient. When arrested, he cursed the girl, Marie Trevec——"
"What!" I exclaimed, "Marie Trevec!"
"What!" I exclaimed, "Marie Trevec!"
"Marie Trevec," repeated Le Bihan; "the priest cursed Marie Trevec, and all her family and descendants. He was shot as he knelt, having a mask of leather over his face, because the Bretons who composed the squad of execution refused to fire at a priest unless his face was concealed. The priest was l'Abbé Sorgue, commonly known as the Black Priest on account of his dark face and swarthy eyebrows. He was buried with a stake through his heart."
"Marie Trevec," Le Bihan repeated; "the priest cursed Marie Trevec and all her family and descendants. He was shot while kneeling, wearing a leather mask over his face, because the Bretons in the execution squad wouldn’t shoot a priest unless his face was covered. The priest was l'Abbé Sorgue, commonly called the Black Priest because of his dark complexion and thick eyebrows. He was buried with a stake through his heart."
Le Bihan paused, hesitated, looked at me, and handed the manuscript back to Durand. The gendarme took it and slipped it into the brass cylinder.
Le Bihan paused, hesitated, looked at me, and handed the manuscript back to Durand. The gendarme took it and slipped it into the brass cylinder.
"So," said I, "the thirty-ninth skull is the skull of the Black Priest."
"So," I said, "the thirty-ninth skull is the skull of the Black Priest."
"Yes," said Fortin. "I hope they won't find it."
"Yeah," said Fortin. "I hope they don't find it."
"I have forbidden them to proceed," said the mayor querulously. "You heard me, Max Fortin."
"I've told them to stop," the mayor said irritably. "You heard me, Max Fortin."
I rose and picked up my gun. Môme came and pushed his head into my hand.
I got up and grabbed my gun. Môme came over and nudged his head into my hand.
"That's a fine dog," observed Durand, also rising.
"That's a great dog," Durand said, getting up as well.
"Why don't you wish to find his skull?" I asked Le Bihan. "It would be curious to see whether the arrow brand really burned into the bone."
"Why don't you want to find his skull?" I asked Le Bihan. "It would be interesting to see if the arrow mark actually burned into the bone."
"There is something in that scroll that I didn't read to you," said the mayor grimly. "Do you wish to know what it is?"
"There’s something in that scroll that I didn’t read to you," the mayor said solemnly. "Do you want to know what it is?"
"Of course," I replied in surprise.
"Sure," I said, surprised.
"Give me the scroll again, Durand," he said; then he read from the bottom: "I, l'Abbé Sorgue, forced to write the above by my executioners, have written it in my own blood; and with it I leave my curse. My curse on St. Gildas, on Marie Trevec, and on her descendants. I will come back to St. Gildas when my remains are disturbed. Woe to that Englishman whom my branded skull shall touch!"
"Give me the scroll again, Durand," he said; then he read from the bottom: "I, l'Abbé Sorgue, forced to write this by my executioners, have written it in my own blood; and with it, I leave my curse. My curse on St. Gildas, on Marie Trevec, and on her descendants. I will return to St. Gildas when my remains are disturbed. Woe to that Englishman whom my branded skull touches!"
"What rot!" I said. "Do you believe it was really written in his own blood?"
"What nonsense!" I said. "Do you really think it was written in his own blood?"
"I am going to test it," said Fortin, "at the request of Monsieur le Maire. I am not anxious for the job, however."
"I’m going to test it," said Fortin, "at the request of the Mayor. I’m not thrilled about the job, though."
"See," said Le Bihan, holding out the scroll to me, "it is signed, 'L'Abbé Sorgue.'"
"Look," Le Bihan said, handing me the scroll, "it's signed, 'L'Abbé Sorgue.'"
I glanced curiously over the paper.
I looked over the paper with curiosity.
"It must be the Black Priest," I said. "He was the only man who wrote in the Breton language. This is a wonderfully interesting discovery, for now, at last, the mystery of the Black Priest's disappearance is cleared up. You will, of course, send this scroll to Paris, Le Bihan?"
"It has to be the Black Priest," I said. "He was the only person who wrote in Breton. This is such an interesting discovery because, at last, we have an explanation for the mystery of the Black Priest's disappearance. You will, of course, send this scroll to Paris, right, Le Bihan?"
"No," said the mayor obstinately, "it shall be buried in the pit below where the rest of the Black Priest lies."
"No," the mayor said stubbornly, "it will be buried in the pit below where the rest of the Black Priest is buried."
I looked at him and recognized that argument would be useless. But still I said, "It will be a loss to history, Monsieur Le Bihan."
I looked at him and realized that arguing would be pointless. But I still said, "It will be a loss to history, Monsieur Le Bihan."
"All the worse for history, then," said the enlightened Mayor of St. Gildas.
"All the worse for history, then," said the informed Mayor of St. Gildas.
We had sauntered back to the gravel pit while speaking. The men of Bannalec were carrying the bones of the English soldiers toward the St. Gildas cemetery, on the cliffs to the east, where already a knot of white-coiffed women stood in attitudes of prayer; and I saw the somber robe of a priest among the crosses of the little graveyard.
We had strolled back to the gravel pit while chatting. The men from Bannalec were carrying the bones of the English soldiers toward the St. Gildas cemetery, on the cliffs to the east, where a group of white-haired women were already standing in prayer; and I saw the dark robe of a priest among the crosses in the small graveyard.
"They were thieves and assassins; they are dead now," muttered Max Fortin.
"They were thieves and killers; they’re dead now," muttered Max Fortin.
"Respect the dead," repeated the Mayor of St. Gildas, looking after the Bannalec men.
"Respect the dead," said the Mayor of St. Gildas, watching the Bannalec men.
"It was written in that scroll that Marie Trevec, of Groix Island, was cursed by the priest—she and her descendants," I said, touching Le Bihan on the arm. "There was a Marie Trevec who married an Yves Trevec of St. Gildas——"
"It was written in that scroll that Marie Trevec, from Groix Island, was cursed by the priest—her and her descendants," I said, tapping Le Bihan on the arm. "There was a Marie Trevec who married an Yves Trevec from St. Gildas——"
"It is the same," said Le Bihan, looking at me obliquely.
"It’s the same," Le Bihan said, glancing at me sideways.
"Oh!" said I; "then they were ancestors of my wife."
"Oh!" I said. "So they were my wife's ancestors."
"Do you fear the curse?" asked Le Bihan.
"Are you afraid of the curse?" asked Le Bihan.
"What?" I laughed.
"What?" I chuckled.
"There was the case of the Purple Emperor," said Max Fortin timidly.
"There was the situation with the Purple Emperor," Max Fortin said shyly.
Startled for a moment, I faced him, then shrugged my shoulders and kicked at a smooth bit of rock which lay near the edge of the pit, almost embedded in gravel.
Startled for a moment, I looked at him, then shrugged my shoulders and kicked at a smooth rock lying near the edge of the pit, nearly buried in gravel.
"Do you suppose the Purple-Emperor drank himself crazy because he was descended from Marie Trevec?" I asked contemptuously.
"Do you think the Purple-Emperor went nuts drinking because he was related to Marie Trevec?" I asked with disdain.
"Of course not," said Max Fortin hastily.
"Of course not," Max Fortin said quickly.
"Of course not," piped the mayor. "I only—Hellow! what's that you're kicking?"
"Of course not," the mayor said. "Wait! What are you kicking?"
"What?" said I, glancing down, at the same time involuntarily giving another kick. The smooth bit of rock dislodged itself and rolled out of the loosened gravel at my feet.
"What?" I said, looking down while unintentionally kicking again. The smooth rock came loose and rolled out of the disturbed gravel at my feet.
"The thirty-ninth skull!" I exclaimed. "By jingo, it's the noddle of the Black Priest! See! there is the arrowhead branded on the front!"
"The thirty-ninth skull!" I shouted. "Wow, it's the head of the Black Priest! Look! There's the arrowhead marked on the front!"
The mayor stepped back. Max Fortin also retreated. There was a pause, during which I looked at them, and they looked anywhere but at me.
The mayor stepped back. Max Fortin also backed off. There was a pause, during which I looked at them, and they avoided making eye contact with me.
"I don't like it," said the mayor at last, in a husky, high voice. "I don't like it! The scroll says he will come back to St. Gildas when his remains are disturbed. I—I don't like it, Monsieur Darrel—"
"I don't like it," said the mayor finally, in a hoarse, high voice. "I don't like it! The scroll says he will return to St. Gildas when his remains are disturbed. I—I don't like it, Monsieur Darrel—"
"Bosh!" said I; "the poor wicked devil is where he can't get out. For Heaven's sake, Le Bihan, what is this stuff you are talking in the year of grace 1896?"
"Bosh!" I said; "the poor wicked devil is stuck where he can’t get out. For heaven's sake, Le Bihan, what is this nonsense you’re talking about in the year 1896?"
The mayor gave me a look.
The mayor gave me a glance.
"And he says 'Englishman.' You are an Englishman, Monsieur Darrel," he announced.
"And he says 'Englishman.' You are an Englishman, Mr. Darrel," he declared.
"You know better. You know I'm an American."
"You know better. You know I'm American."
"It's all the same," said the Mayor of St. Gildas, obstinately.
"It's all the same," said the Mayor of St. Gildas, stubbornly.
"No, it isn't!" I answered, much exasperated, and deliberately pushed the skull till it rolled into the bottom of the gravel pit below.
"No, it isn't!" I replied, very annoyed, and intentionally pushed the skull until it rolled to the bottom of the gravel pit below.
"Cover it up," said I; "bury the scroll with it too, if you insist, but I think you ought to send it to Paris. Don't look so gloomy, Fortin, unless you believe in werewolves and ghosts. Hey! what the—what the devil's the matter with you, anyway? What are you staring at, Le Bihan?"
"Just cover it up," I said. "Bury the scroll with it too, if you really want, but I think you should send it to Paris. Don't look so gloomy, Fortin, unless you actually believe in werewolves and ghosts. Hey! What's going on with you, anyway? What are you staring at, Le Bihan?"
"Come, come," muttered the mayor in a low, tremulous voice, "it's time we got out of this. Did you see? Did you see, Fortin?"
"Come on," mumbled the mayor in a quiet, shaky voice, "it's time we got out of this. Did you see? Did you see, Fortin?"
"I saw," whispered Max Fortin, pallid with fright.
"I saw," whispered Max Fortin, pale with fear.
The two men were almost running across the sunny pasture now, and I hastened after them, demanding to know what was the matter.
The two men were nearly sprinting across the sunny field now, and I hurried after them, asking what was going on.
"Matter!" chattered the mayor, gasping with exasperation and terror. "The skull is rolling up hill again," and he burst into a terrified gallop, Max Fortin followed close behind.
"Matter!" the mayor exclaimed, panting with frustration and fear. "The skull is rolling uphill again," and he took off in a frantic run, with Max Fortin right behind him.
I watched them stampeding across the pasture, then turned toward the gravel pit, mystified, incredulous. The skull was lying on the edge of the pit, exactly where it had been before I pushed it over the edge. For a second I stared at it; a singular chilly feeling crept up my spinal column, and I turned and walked away, sweat starting from the root of every hair on my head. Before I had gone twenty paces the absurdity of the whole thing struck me. I halted, hot with shame and annoyance, and retraced my steps.
I watched them running across the field, then turned toward the gravel pit, confused and disbelieving. The skull was lying at the edge of the pit, exactly where it was before I pushed it over. For a moment, I just stared at it; a cold feeling crawled up my spine, and I turned and walked away, sweat starting from the roots of every hair on my head. Before I'd taken twenty steps, the ridiculousness of the entire situation hit me. I stopped, feeling hot with shame and irritation, and walked back.
There lay the skull.
The skull was lying there.
"I rolled a stone down instead of the skull," I muttered to myself. Then with the butt of my gun I pushed the skull over the edge of the pit and watched it roll to the bottom; and as it struck the bottom of the pit, Môme, my dog, suddenly whipped his tail between his legs, whimpered, and made off across the moor.
"I kicked a stone down instead of the skull," I whispered to myself. Then with the end of my gun, I nudged the skull over the edge of the pit and watched it tumble to the bottom; and as it hit the bottom of the pit, Môme, my dog, suddenly tucked his tail between his legs, whimpered, and ran off across the moor.
"Môme!" I shouted, angry and astonished; but the dog only fled the faster, and I ceased calling from sheer surprise.
"Môme!" I shouted, angry and shocked; but the dog just ran away faster, and I stopped calling out from sheer surprise.
"What the mischief is the matter with that dog!" I thought. He had never before played me such a trick.
"What on earth is wrong with that dog!" I thought. He had never pulled a stunt like this on me before.
Mechanically I glanced into the pit, but I could not see the skull. I looked down. The skull lay at my feet again, touching them.
Mechanically, I looked into the pit, but I couldn't see the skull. I looked down. The skull was at my feet again, touching them.
"Good heavens!" I stammered, and struck at it blindly with my gunstock. The ghastly thing flew into the air, whirling over and over, and rolled again down the sides of the pit to the bottom. Breathlessly I stared at it, then, confused and scarcely comprehending, I stepped back from the pit, still facing it, one, ten, twenty paces, my eyes almost starting from my head, as though I expected to see the thing roll up from the bottom of the pit under my very gaze. At last I turned my back to the pit and strode out across the gorse-covered moorland toward my home. As I reached the road that winds from St. Gildas to St. Julien I gave one hasty glance at the pit over my shoulder. The sun shone hot on the sod about the excavation. There was something white and bare and round on the turf at the edge of the pit. It might have been a stone; there were plenty of them lying about.
"Good heavens!" I exclaimed, hitting it blindly with the stock of my gun. The horrifying thing flew into the air, spinning around and rolling down the sides of the pit to the bottom. Breathless, I stared at it, then, feeling confused and barely understanding, I stepped back from the pit, still facing it, taking one, ten, twenty steps away, my eyes wide open as if I expected to see the thing roll back up from the bottom of the pit right before me. Finally, I turned away from the pit and walked out across the gorse-covered moorland toward my home. As I reached the road that leads from St. Gildas to St. Julien, I glanced back at the pit over my shoulder. The sun beat down on the soil around the excavation. There was something white and bare and round on the grass at the edge of the pit. It could have been a stone; there were plenty scattered around.
II
When I entered my garden I saw Môme sprawling on the stone doorstep. He eyed me sideways and flopped his tail.
When I walked into my garden, I saw Môme lying across the stone doorstep. He glanced at me with one eye and wagged his tail.
"Are you not mortified, you idiot dog?" I said, looking about the upper windows for Lys.
"Are you not embarrassed, you fool dog?" I said, looking around the upper windows for Lys.
Môme rolled over on his back and raised one deprecating forepaw, as though to ward off calamity.
Môme rolled onto his back and lifted one paw in a self-deprecating gesture, as if trying to fend off disaster.
"Don't act as though I was in the habit of beating you to death," I said, disgusted. I had never in my life raised whip to the brute. "But you are a fool dog," I continued. "No, you needn't come to be babied and wept over; Lys can do that, if she insists, but I am ashamed of you, and you can go to the devil."
"Don't pretend like I often beat you to a pulp," I said, disgusted. I had never, in my life, raised a whip against the brute. "But you are a foolish dog," I continued. "No, you don't need to come here to be coddled and cried over; Lys can do that if she wants, but I'm ashamed of you, and you can go to hell."
Môme slunk off into the house, and I followed, mounting directly to my wife's boudoir. It was empty.
Môme sneaked into the house, and I followed, going straight to my wife's bedroom. It was empty.
"Where has she gone?" I said, looking hard at Môme, who had followed me. "Oh! I see you don't know. Don't pretend you do. Come off that lounge! Do you think Lys wants tan-colored hairs all over her lounge?"
"Where did she go?" I said, glaring at Môme, who had followed me. "Oh! I see you don’t know. Don’t act like you do. Get off that couch! Do you think Lys wants tan-colored fur all over her couch?"
I rang the bell for Catherine and Fine, but they didn't know where "madame" had gone; so I went into my room, bathed, exchanged my somewhat grimy shooting clothes for a suit of warm, soft knickerbockers, and, after lingering some extra moments over my toilet—for I was particular, now that I had married Lys—I went down to the garden and took a chair out under the fig-trees.
I called for Catherine and Fine, but they didn’t know where “madame” had gone; so I went into my room, took a shower, changed out of my somewhat dirty shooting clothes into a warm, soft pair of knickerbockers, and after spending some extra time getting ready—since I was particular now that I had married Lys—I headed down to the garden and grabbed a chair under the fig trees.
"Where can she be?" I wondered, Môme came sneaking out to be comforted, and I forgave him for Lys's sake, whereupon he frisked.
"Where could she be?" I wondered, as Môme came sneaking out to seek comfort, and I forgave him for Lys's sake, after which he played around happily.
"You bounding cur," said I, "now what on earth started you off across the moor? If you do it again I'll push you along with a charge of dust shot."
"You annoying dog," I said, "what on earth made you run off across the moor? If you do it again, I'll send you flying with a blast of dust shot."
As yet I had scarcely dared think about the ghastly hallucination of which I had been a victim, but now I faced it squarely, flushing a little with mortification at the thought of my hasty retreat from the gravel pit.
As of now, I had barely allowed myself to think about the terrifying illusion I had experienced, but now I confronted it directly, feeling a bit embarrassed at the memory of my quick escape from the gravel pit.
"To think," I said aloud, "that those old woman's tales of Max Fortin and Le Bihan should have actually made me see what didn't exist at all! I lost my nerve like a schoolboy in a dark bedroom." For I knew now that I had mistaken a round stone for a skull each time, and had pushed a couple of big pebbles into the pit instead of the skull itself.
"Can you believe," I said out loud, "that those old women's stories about Max Fortin and Le Bihan actually made me see things that weren't there at all! I completely lost my nerve like a kid in a dark room." Because I now realized that I had confused a round stone for a skull every time and had ended up throwing a couple of big pebbles into the pit instead of the actual skull.
"By jingo!" said I, "I'm nervous; my liver must be in a devil of a condition if I see such things when I'm awake! Lys will know what to give me."
"Wow!" I said, "I'm really anxious; my liver must be in terrible shape if I'm seeing things like this when I'm awake! Lys will know what to give me."
I felt mortified and irritated and sulky, and thought disgustedly of Le Bihan and Max Fortin.
I felt embarrassed, annoyed, and in a bad mood, and I thought in disgust about Le Bihan and Max Fortin.
But after a while I ceased speculating, dismissed the mayor, the chemist, and the skull from my mind, and smoked pensively, watching the sun low dipping in the western ocean. As the twilight fell for a moment over ocean and moorland, a wistful, restless happiness filled my heart, the happiness that all men know—all men who have loved.
But after a while, I stopped thinking about the mayor, the chemist, and the skull, and I just smoked thoughtfully while watching the sun dip low in the western ocean. As twilight spread over the ocean and moorland, a bittersweet, restless happiness filled my heart—the kind of happiness that everyone knows—all people who have loved.
Slowly the purple mist crept out over the sea; the cliffs darkened; the forest was shrouded.
Slowly, the purple mist spread over the sea; the cliffs grew darker; the forest was covered.
Suddenly the sky above burned with the afterglow, and the world was alight again.
Suddenly, the sky above ignited with a warm glow, and the world was bright once more.
Cloud after cloud caught the rose dye; the cliffs were tinted with it; moor and pasture, heather and forest burned and pulsated with the gentle flush. I saw the gulls turning and tossing above the sand bar, their snowy wings tipped with pink; I saw the sea swallows sheering the surface of the still river, stained to its placid depths with warm reflections of the clouds. The twitter of drowsy hedge birds broke out in the stillness; a salmon rolled its shining side above tidewater.
Cloud after cloud caught the pink hues; the cliffs were tinted with it; moors and pastures, heather and forests burned and pulsed with the soft glow. I saw the gulls swirling and diving above the sandbar, their white wings touched with pink; I saw the sea swallows skim the surface of the calm river, colored to its tranquil depths with warm reflections of the clouds. The chirping of sleepy hedge birds pierced the stillness; a salmon rolled its shiny side above the tidewater.
The interminable monotone of the ocean intensified the silence. I sat motionless, holding my breath as one who listens to the first low rumor of an organ. All at once the pure whistle of a nightingale cut the silence, and the first moonbeam silvered the wastes of mist-hung waters.
The endless calm of the ocean deepened the silence. I sat still, holding my breath like someone listening to the soft beginning of an organ. Suddenly, the clear song of a nightingale broke the silence, and the first moonbeam glinted on the misty waters.
I raised my head.
I lifted my head.
Lys stood before me in the garden.
Lys stood in front of me in the garden.
When we had kissed each other, we linked arms and moved up and down the gravel walks, watching the moonbeams sparkle on the sand bar as the tide ebbed and ebbed. The broad beds of white pinks about us were atremble with hovering white moths; the October roses hung all abloom, perfuming the salt wind.
When we kissed, we linked arms and strolled along the gravel paths, watching the moonlight flicker on the sandbar as the tide went out. The large patches of white pinks around us were buzzing with fluttering white moths; the October roses were in full bloom, filling the salty breeze with their fragrance.
"Sweetheart," I said, "where is Yvonne? Has she promised to spend Christmas with us?"
"Sweetheart," I said, "where's Yvonne? Has she said she would spend Christmas with us?"
"Yes, Dick; she drove me down from Plougat this afternoon. She sent her love to you. I am not jealous. What did you shoot?"
"Yeah, Dick; she drove me down from Plougat this afternoon. She sent her love to you. I’m not jealous. What did you shoot?"
"A hare and four partridges. They are in the gun room. I told Catherine not to touch them until you had seen them."
"A hare and four partridges. They're in the gun room. I told Catherine not to touch them until you had a chance to see them."
Now I suppose I knew that Lys could not be particularly enthusiastic over game or guns; but she pretended she was, and always scornfully denied that it was for my sake and not for the pure love of sport. So she dragged me off to inspect the rather meager game bag, and she paid me pretty compliments, and gave a little cry of delight and pity as I lifted the enormous hare out of the sack by his ears.
Now I guess I understood that Lys wasn't really into hunting or guns, but she acted like she was and always dismissively insisted it was for her own love of the sport, not for me. So she pulled me along to check out the rather sparse game bag, and she showered me with compliments, letting out a little cry of joy and sympathy as I pulled the huge hare out of the sack by its ears.
"He'll eat no more of our lettuce," I said attempting to justify the assassination.
"He won't eat any more of our lettuce," I said, trying to justify the assassination.
"Unhappy little bunny—and what a beauty! O Dick, you are a splendid shot, are you not?"
"Sad little bunny—and what a beauty! Oh Dick, you're an amazing shot, aren’t you?"
I evaded the question and hauled out a partridge.
I dodged the question and pulled out a partridge.
"Poor little dead things'" said Lys in a whisper; "it seems a pity—doesn't it, Dick? But then you are so clever——"
"Poor little dead things," Lys whispered. "It seems like a shame, doesn't it, Dick? But then again, you are so clever—"
"We'll have them broiled," I said guardedly, "tell Catherine."
"We'll have them grilled," I said carefully, "let Catherine know."
Catherine came in to take away the game, and presently 'Fine Lelocard, Lys's maid, announced dinner, and Lys tripped away to her boudoir.
Catherine came in to take the game away, and soon 'Fine Lelocard, Lys's maid, announced dinner, and Lys quickly headed to her boudoir.
I stood an instant contemplating her blissfully, thinking, "My boy, you're the happiest fellow in the world—you're in love with your wife'"
I paused for a moment, looking at her happily, thinking, "Dude, you're the luckiest guy alive—you love your wife."
I walked into the dining-room, beamed at the plates, walked out again; met Tregunc in the hallway, beamed on him; glanced into the kitchen, beamed at Catherine, and went up stairs, still beaming.
I walked into the dining room, smiled at the plates, walked out again; saw Tregunc in the hallway, smiled at him; peeked into the kitchen, smiled at Catherine, and went upstairs, still smiling.
Before I could knock at Lys's door it opened, and Lys came hastily out. When she saw me she gave a little cry of relief, and nestled close to my breast.
Before I could knock on Lys's door, it opened, and Lys hurried out. When she saw me, she let out a small cry of relief and snuggled close to my chest.
"There is something peering in at my window," she said.
"There’s something looking in at my window," she said.
"What!" I cried angrily.
"What?!" I exclaimed angrily.
"A man, I think, disguised as a priest, and he has a mask on. He must have climbed up by the bay tree."
"A man, I think, dressed as a priest, and he’s wearing a mask. He must have climbed up by the bay tree."
I was down the stairs and out of doors in no time. The moonlit garden was absolutely deserted. Tregunc came up, and together we searched the hedge and shrubbery around the house and out to the road.
I quickly made my way down the stairs and outside. The garden, lit by the moon, was completely empty. Tregunc joined me, and together we looked through the hedges and bushes around the house and down to the road.
"Jean Marie," said I at length, "loose my bulldog—he knows you—and take your supper on the porch where you can watch. My wife says the fellow is disguised as a priest, and wears a mask."
"Jean Marie," I finally said, "let my bulldog go—he knows you—and have your dinner on the porch where you can keep an eye on things. My wife says the guy is pretending to be a priest and is wearing a mask."
Tregunc showed his white teeth in a smile. "He will not care to venture in here again, I think, Monsieur Darrel."
Tregunc smiled, showing his white teeth. "I don’t think he’ll want to come back in here again, Monsieur Darrel."
I went back and found Lys seated quietly at the table.
I returned and found Lys sitting quietly at the table.
"The soup is ready, dear," she said. "Don't worry; it was only some foolish lout from Bannalec. No one in St. Gildas or St. Julien would do such a thing."
"The soup is ready, hun," she said. "Don't worry; it was just some idiot from Bannalec. No one in St. Gildas or St. Julien would do something like that."
I was too much exasperated to reply at first, but Lys treated it as a stupid joke, and after a while I began to look at it in that light.
I was too frustrated to respond at first, but Lys saw it as a silly joke, and after a while, I started to view it that way too.
Lys told me about Yvonne, and reminded me of my promise to have Herbert Stuart down to meet her.
Lys told me about Yvonne and reminded me of my promise to bring Herbert Stuart to meet her.
"You wicked diplomat!" I protested. "Herbert is in Paris, and hard at work for the Salon."
"You sneaky diplomat!" I said. "Herbert is in Paris, and working hard for the Salon."
"Don't you think he might spare a week to flirt with the prettiest girl in Finistere?" inquired Lys innocently.
"Don’t you think he could take a week to flirt with the prettiest girl in Finistere?" Lys asked innocently.
"Prettiest girl! Not much!" I said.
"Prettiest girl! Not a lot!" I said.
"Who is, then?" urged Lys.
"Who is it, then?" urged Lys.
I laughed a trifle sheepishly.
I laughed a little sheepishly.
"I suppose you mean me, Dick," said Lys, coloring up.
"I guess you're talking about me, Dick," said Lys, blushing.
"Now I bore you, don't I?"
"Now I'm boring you, aren't I?"
"Bore me? Ah, no, Dick."
"Bore me? Nope, Dick."
After coffee and cigarettes were served I spoke about Tregunc, and Lys approved.
After coffee and cigarettes were served, I talked about Tregunc, and Lys agreed.
"Poor Jean! He will be glad, won't he? What a dear fellow you are!"
"Poor Jean! He's going to be happy, right? What a lovely guy you are!"
"Nonsense," said I; "we need a gardener; you said so yourself, Lys."
"Nonsense," I said; "we need a gardener; you said it yourself, Lys."
But Lys leaned over and kissed me, and then bent down and hugged Môme—who whistled through his nose in sentimental appreciation.
But Lys leaned over and kissed me, then bent down and hugged Môme—who whistled through his nose in sentimental appreciation.
"I am a very happy woman," said Lys.
"I’m a really happy woman," said Lys.
"Môme was a very bad dog to-day," I observed.
"Môme was a really bad dog today," I noted.
"Poor Môme!" said Lys, smiling.
"Poor Môme!" said Lys, smiling.
When dinner was over and Môme lay snoring before the blaze—for the October nights are often chilly in Finistere—Lys curled up in the chimney corner with her embroidery, and gave me a swift glance from under her dropping lashes.
When dinner was done and Môme was snoring by the fire—because the October nights can be pretty cold in Finistere—Lys settled into the corner by the fireplace with her embroidery and shot me a quick look from beneath her drooping lashes.
"You look like a schoolgirl, Lys," I said teasingly. "I don't believe you are sixteen yet."
"You look like a schoolgirl, Lys," I said playfully. "I can't believe you're actually sixteen."
She pushed back her heavy burnished hair thoughtfully. Her wrist was as white as surf foam.
She pushed her shiny, thick hair back, lost in thought. Her wrist was as pale as ocean foam.
"Have we been married four years? I don't believe it," I said.
"Have we been married for four years? I can't believe it," I said.
She gave me another swift glance and touched the embroidery on her knee, smiling faintly.
She shot me another quick look and brushed her fingers over the embroidery on her knee, smiling softly.
"I see," said I, also smiling at the embroidered garment. "Do you think it will fit?"
"I get it," I said, smiling at the embroidered piece of clothing. "Do you think it will fit?"
"Fit?" repeated Lys. Then she laughed
"Fit?" Lys repeated. Then she laughed.
"And," I persisted, "are you perfectly sure that you—er—we shall need it?"
"And," I pressed on, "are you absolutely sure that you—um—we will need it?"
"Perfectly," said Lys. A delicate color touched her cheeks and neck. She held up the little garment, all fluffy with misty lace and wrought with quaint embroidery.
"Perfectly," said Lys. A soft blush colored her cheeks and neck. She held up the little garment, all fluffy with sheer lace and featuring charming embroidery.
"It is very gorgeous," said I; "don't use your eyes too much, dearest. May I smoke a pipe?"
"It looks beautiful," I said; "don't strain your eyes too much, dear. Can I smoke a pipe?"
"Of course," she said selecting a skein of pale blue silk.
"Of course," she said, picking out a skein of light blue silk.
For a while I sat and smoked in silence, watching her slender fingers among the tinted silks and thread of gold.
For a while, I sat and smoked in silence, watching her slender fingers among the colored silks and threads of gold.
Presently she spoke: "What did you say your crest is, Dick?"
Presently she said, "What did you say your crest is, Dick?"
"My crest? Oh, something or other rampant on a something or other——"
"My crest? Oh, it’s something upright on another something——"
"Dick!"
"Dude!"
"Dearest?"
"Darling?"
"Don't be flippant."
"Don’t be dismissive."
"But I really forget. It's an ordinary crest; everybody in New York has them. No family should be without 'em."
"But I really forget. It's just a typical crest; everyone in New York has them. No family should be without them."
"You are disagreeable, Dick. Send Josephine upstairs for my album."
"You’re being difficult, Dick. Send Josephine upstairs for my album."
"Are you going to put that crest on the—the—whatever it is?"
"Are you going to put that emblem on the—uh—the—whatever it is?"
"I am; and my own crest, too."
"I am; and my own emblem, too."
I thought of the Purple Emperor and wondered a little.
I thought about the Purple Emperor and felt a bit curious.
"You didn't know I had one, did you?" she smiled.
"You didn't know I had one, did you?" she smiled.
"What is it?" I replied evasively.
"What is it?" I answered vaguely.
"You shall see. Ring for Josephine."
"You'll see. Call Josephine."
I rang, and, when 'Fine appeared, Lys gave her some orders in a low voice, and Josephine trotted away, bobbing her white-coiffed head with a "Bien, Madame!"
I rang the bell, and when 'Fine showed up, Lys quietly gave her some instructions, and Josephine hurried off, nodding her white-coiffed head with a "Yes, Madame!"
After a few minutes she returned, bearing a tattered, musty volume, from which the gold and blue had mostly disappeared.
After a few minutes, she came back with a worn-out, musty book, from which the gold and blue had mostly faded.
I took the book in my hands and examined the ancient emblazoned covers.
I picked up the book and looked over the old decorated covers.
"Lilies!" I exclaimed.
"Lilies!" I said.
"Fleur-de-lis," said my wife demurely.
"Fleur-de-lis," my wife said shyly.
"Oh!" said I, astonished, and opened the book.
"Oh!" I said, amazed, and opened the book.
"You have never before seen this book?" asked Lys, with a touch of malice in her eyes.
"You've never seen this book before?" asked Lys, a hint of mischief in her eyes.
"You know I haven't. Hello! What's this? Oho! So there should be a de before Trevec? Lys de Trevec? Then why in the world did the Purple Emperor——"
"You know I haven't. Hey! What's this? Oh! So there should be a 'de' before Trevec? Lys de Trevec? Then why in the world did the Purple Emperor——"
"Dick!" cried Lys.
"Dude!" cried Lys.
"All right," said I. "Shall I read about the Sieur de Trevec who rode to Saladin's tent alone to seek for medicine for St. Louise? Or shall I read about—what is it? Oh, here it is, all down in black and white—about the Marquis de Trevec who drowned himself before Alva's eyes rather than surrender the banner of the fleur-de-lis to Spain? It's all written here. But, dear, how about that soldier named Trevec who was killed in the old fort on the cliff yonder?"
"Alright," I said. "Should I read about the Sieur de Trevec who rode alone to Saladin's tent to find medicine for St. Louise? Or should I read about—what is it? Oh, here it is, all written out—about the Marquis de Trevec who took his own life in front of Alva rather than hand over the fleur-de-lis banner to Spain? It’s all in here. But, my dear, what about that soldier named Trevec who was killed in the old fort over there on the cliff?"
"He dropped the de, and the Trevecs since then have been Republicans," said Lys—"all except me."
"He dropped the de, and since then, the Trevecs have been Republicans," said Lys—"everyone except me."
"That's quite right," said I; "it is time that we Republicans should agree upon some feudal system. My dear, I drink to the king!" and I raised my wine glass and looked at Lys.
"That's absolutely right," I said; "it's time for us Republicans to settle on some sort of feudal system. My dear, I raise my glass to the king!" and I lifted my wine glass and glanced at Lys.
"To the king," said Lys, flushing. She smoothed out the tiny garment on her knees; she touched the glass with her lips; her eyes were very sweet. I drained the glass to the king.
"To the king," said Lys, blushing. She smoothed the small garment on her lap; she touched the glass with her lips; her eyes were very gentle. I finished the glass to the king.
After a silence I said: "I will tell the king stories. His majesty shall be amused."
After a moment of silence, I said, "I'll tell the king some stories. He’ll be entertained."
"His majesty," repeated Lys softly.
"Your majesty," repeated Lys softly.
"Or hers," I laughed. "Who knows?"
"Or hers," I laughed. "Who knows?"
"Who knows?" murmured Lys; with a gentle sigh.
"Who knows?" murmured Lys, letting out a gentle sigh.
"I know some stories about Jack the Giant-Killer," I announced. "Do you, Lys?"
"I know some stories about Jack the Giant-Killer," I said. "Do you, Lys?"
"I? No, not about a giant-killer, but I know all about the werewolf, and Jeanne-la-Flamme, and the Man in Purple Tatters, and—O dear me, I know lots more."
"I? No, not about a giant-killer, but I know all about the werewolf, and Jeanne-la-Flamme, and the Man in Purple Tatters, and—oh dear, I know a whole lot more."
"You are very wise," said I. "I shall teach his majesty, English."
"You’re really wise," I said. "I’ll teach his majesty English."
"And I Breton," cried Lys jealously.
"And I Breton," Lys cried out, feeling jealous.
"I shall bring playthings to the king," said I—"big green lizards from the gorse, little gray mullets to swim in glass globes, baby rabbits from the forest of Kerselec——"
"I'll bring toys to the king," I said—"big green lizards from the gorse, little gray mullets to swim in glass globes, baby rabbits from the forest of Kerselec——"
"And I," said Lys, "will bring the first primrose, the first branch of aubepine, the first jonquil, to the king—my king."
"And I," said Lys, "will bring the first primrose, the first branch of hawthorn, the first jonquil, to the king—my king."
"Our king," said I; and there was peace in Finistere.
"Our king," I said; and there was peace in Finistere.
I lay back, idly turning the leaves of the curious old volume.
I leaned back, casually flipping through the pages of the intriguing old book.
"I am looking," said I, "for the crest."
"I’m looking," I said, "for the crest."
"The crest, dear? It is a priest's head with an arrow-shaped mark on the forehead, on a field——"
"The crest, dear? It's a priest's head with an arrow-shaped mark on the forehead, on a field——"
I sat up and stared at my wife.
I sat up and looked at my wife.
"Dick, whatever is the matter?" she smiled. "The story is there in that book. Do you care to read it? No? Shall I tell it to you? Well, then: It happened in the third crusade. There was a monk whom men called the Black Priest. He turned apostate, and sold himself to the enemies of Christ. A Sieur de Trevec burst into the Saracen camp, at the head of only one hundred lances, and carried the Black Priest away out of the very midst of their army."
"Dick, what's wrong?" she smiled. "The story is right there in that book. Do you want to read it? No? Should I tell it to you? Okay, here it goes: It happened during the third crusade. There was a monk known as the Black Priest. He renounced his faith and sold himself to Christ's enemies. A Sieur de Trevec charged into the Saracen camp with just a hundred lances and took the Black Priest away from right in the middle of their army."
"So that is how you come by the crest," I said quietly; but I thought of the branded skull in the gravel pit, and wondered.
"So that's how you got the crest," I said softly; but I thought of the branded skull in the gravel pit and wondered.
"Yes," said Lys. "The Sieur de Trevec cut the Black Priest's head off, but first he branded him with an arrow mark on the forehead. The book says it was a pious action, and the Sieur de Trevec got great merit by it. But I think it was cruel, the branding," she sighed.
"Yeah," said Lys. "The Sieur de Trevec chopped off the Black Priest's head, but first he burned an arrow mark into his forehead. The book says it was a righteous act, and the Sieur de Trevec earned a lot of credit for it. But I think branding him was really harsh," she sighed.
"Did you ever hear of any other Black Priest?"
"Have you ever heard of any other Black priest?"
"Yes. There was one in the last century, here in St. Gildas. He cast a white shadow in the sun. He wrote in the Breton language. Chronicles, too, I believe. I never saw them. His name was the same as that of the old chronicler, and of the other priest, Jacques Sorgue. Some said he was a lineal descendant of the traitor. Of course the first Black Priest was bad enough for anything. But if he did have a child, it need not have been the ancestor of the last Jacques Sorgue. They say he was so good he was not allowed to die, but was caught up to heaven one day," added Lys, with believing eyes.
"Yes. There was one in the last century, here in St. Gildas. He cast a white shadow in the sun. He wrote in the Breton language and also chronicled events, I think. I never saw those writings. His name was the same as that of the old chronicler and the other priest, Jacques Sorgue. Some said he was a direct descendant of the traitor. Of course, the first Black Priest was bad enough for anything. But if he did have a child, it doesn’t necessarily mean they were the ancestor of the last Jacques Sorgue. They say he was so good that he wasn’t allowed to die, but was taken up to heaven one day," added Lys, with trusting eyes.
I smiled.
I smiled.
"But he disappeared," persisted Lys.
"But he vanished," persisted Lys.
"I'm afraid his journey was in another direction," I said jestingly, and thoughtlessly told her the story of the morning. I had utterly forgotten the masked man at her window, but before I finished I remembered him fast enough, and realized what I had done as I saw her face whiten.
"I'm afraid he was heading in a different direction," I said jokingly and carelessly shared the story of my morning. I had completely forgotten about the masked man at her window, but before I finished, I quickly remembered him and realized my mistake when I saw her face go pale.
"Lys," I urged tenderly, "that was only some clumsy clown's trick. You said so yourself. You are not superstitious, my dear?"
"Lys," I urged gently, "that was just a silly prank by some clown. You said so yourself. You're not superstitious, are you?"
Her eyes were on mine. She slowly drew the little gold cross from her bosom and kissed it. But her lips trembled as they pressed the symbol of faith.
Her eyes were locked on mine. She gently pulled the small gold cross from her chest and kissed it. But her lips shook as they touched the symbol of faith.
III
About nine o'clock the next morning I walked into the Groix Inn and sat down at the long discolored oaken table, nodding good-day to Marianne Bruyere, who in turn bobbed her white coiffe at me.
About nine o'clock the next morning, I walked into the Groix Inn and sat down at the long, worn oak table, giving a nod to Marianne Bruyere, who, in return, bobbed her white cap at me.
"My clever Bannalec maid," said I, "what is good for a stirrup-cup at the Groix Inn?"
"My clever maid from Bannalec," I said, "what's a good drink for a stirrup cup at the Groix Inn?"
"Schist?" she inquired in Breton.
"Schist?" she asked in Breton.
"With a dash of red wine, then," I replied.
"With a splash of red wine, then," I replied.
She brought the delicious Quimperle cider, and I poured a little Bordeaux into it. Marianne watched me with laughing black eyes.
She brought the tasty Quimperle cider, and I poured a little Bordeaux into it. Marianne watched me with her sparkling black eyes.
"What makes your cheeks so red, Marianne?" I asked. "Has Jean Marie been here?"
"What’s got your cheeks so red, Marianne?" I asked. "Has Jean Marie been around?"
"We are to be married, Monsieur Darrel," she laughed.
"We're going to get married, Mr. Darrel," she laughed.
"Ah! Since when has Jean Marie Tregunc lost his head?"
"Wow! Since when has Jean Marie Tregunc lost it?"
"His head? Oh, Monsieur Darrel—his heart, you mean!"
"His head? Oh, Mr. Darrel—his heart, you mean!"
"So I do," said I. "Jean Marie is a practical fellow."
"So I do," I said. "Jean Marie is a practical guy."
"It is all due to your kindness—" began the girl, but I raised my hand and held up the glass.
"It’s all because of your kindness—" the girl started, but I raised my hand and lifted the glass.
"It's due to himself. To your happiness, Marianne"; and I took a hearty draught of the schist. "Now," said I, "tell me where I can find Le Bihan and Max Fortin."
"It's because of him. For your happiness, Marianne," and I took a big gulp of the schist. "Now," I said, "tell me where I can find Le Bihan and Max Fortin."
"Monsieur Le Bihan and Monsieur Fortin are above in the broad room. I believe they are examining the Red Admiral's effects."
"Mister Le Bihan and Mister Fortin are up in the large room. I think they are going through the Red Admiral's belongings."
"To send them to Paris? Oh, I know. May I go up, Marianne?"
"To send them to Paris? Oh, I know. Can I go up, Marianne?"
"And God go with you," smiled the girl.
"And may God be with you," smiled the girl.
When I knocked at the door of the broad room above little Max Fortin opened it. Dust covered his spectacles and nose; his hat, with the tiny velvet ribbons fluttering, was all awry.
When I knocked on the door of the big room above, little Max Fortin opened it. Dust covered his glasses and nose; his hat, with the tiny velvet ribbons fluttering, was all askew.
"Come in, Monsieur Darrel," he said; "the mayor and I are packing up the effects of the Purple Emperor and of the poor Red Admiral."
"Come in, Mr. Darrel," he said; "the mayor and I are packing up the belongings of the Purple Emperor and the unfortunate Red Admiral."
"The collections?" I asked, entering the room. "You must be very careful in packing those butterfly cases; the slightest jar might break wings and antennas, you know."
"The collections?" I asked as I walked into the room. "You really need to be careful when packing those butterfly cases; even the smallest bump could break the wings and antennas, you know."
Le Bihan shook hands with me and pointed to the great pile of boxes.
Le Bihan shook my hand and pointed to the huge stack of boxes.
"They're all cork lined," he said, "but Fortin and I are putting felt around each box. The Entomological Society of Paris pays the freight."
"They're all lined with cork," he said, "but Fortin and I are wrapping each box in felt. The Entomological Society of Paris covers the shipping costs."
The combined collection of the Red Admiral and the Purple Emperor made a magnificent display.
The combined collection of the Red Admiral and the Purple Emperor was a stunning display.
I lifted and inspected case after case set with gorgeous butterflies and moths, each specimen carefully labelled with the name in Latin. There were cases filled with crimson tiger moths all aflame with color; cases devoted to the common yellow butterflies; symphonies in orange and pale yellow; cases of soft gray and dun-colored sphinx moths; and cases of grayish nettle-bed butterflies of the numerous family of Vanessa.
I picked up and looked at case after case filled with beautiful butterflies and moths, each one carefully labeled with its name in Latin. There were cases packed with vibrant red tiger moths; cases dedicated to the common yellow butterflies; displays in shades of orange and light yellow; cases of soft gray and brown sphinx moths; and cases of grayish nettle-bed butterflies from the large Vanessa family.
All alone in a great case by itself was pinned the purple emperor, the Apatura Iris, that fatal specimen that had given the Purple Emperor his name and quietus.
All by itself in a big display case was pinned the purple emperor, the Apatura Iris, that infamous specimen that had given the Purple Emperor his name and end.
I remembered the butterfly, and stood looking at it with bent eyebrows.
I remembered the butterfly and stood there looking at it with furrowed brows.
Le Bihan glanced up from the floor where he was nailing down the lid of a box full of cases.
Le Bihan looked up from the floor where he was nailing down the lid of a box filled with cases.
"It is settled, then," said he, "that madame, your wife, gives the Purple Emperor's entire Collection to the city of Paris?"
"It’s decided, then," he said, "that your wife, madame, is giving the entire Purple Emperor's Collection to the city of Paris?"
I nodded.
I agreed.
"Without accepting anything for it?"
"Without expecting anything in return?"
"It is a gift," I said.
"It's a gift," I said.
"Including the purple emperor there in the case? That butterfly is worth a great deal of money," persisted Le Bihan.
"Including the purple emperor in the case? That butterfly is really valuable," insisted Le Bihan.
"You don't suppose that we would wish to sell that specimen, do you?" I answered a trifle sharply.
"You don't think we'd want to sell that specimen, do you?" I replied a bit sharply.
"If I were you I should destroy it," said the mayor in his high-pitched voice.
"If I were you, I would destroy it," said the mayor in his high-pitched voice.
"That would be nonsense," said I, "like your burying the brass cylinder and scroll yesterday."
"That would be ridiculous," I said, "like when you buried the brass cylinder and scroll yesterday."
"It was not nonsense," said Le Bihan doggedly, "and I should prefer not to discuss the subject of the scroll."
"It wasn't nonsense," Le Bihan insisted, "and I would rather not talk about the scroll."
I looked at Max Portin, who immediately avoided my eyes.
I glanced at Max Portin, who quickly looked away.
"You are a pair of superstitious old women," said I, digging my hands into my pockets; "you swallow every nursery tale that is invented."
"You two are a couple of superstitious old ladies," I said, shoving my hands into my pockets; "you believe every silly story that gets made up."
"What of it?" said Le Bihan sulkily; "there's more truth than lies in most of 'em."
"What about it?" said Le Bihan sulkily; "there's more truth than falsehood in most of them."
"Oh!" I sneered, "does the Mayor of St. Gildas and St. Julien believe in the loup-garou?"
"Oh!" I scoffed, "does the Mayor of St. Gildas and St. Julien really believe in the werewolf?"
"No, not in the loup-garou."
"No, not in the werewolf."
"In what, then—Jeanne-la-Flamme?"
"In what, then—Jeanne-la-Flamme?"
"That," said Le Bihan with conviction, "is history."
"That," Le Bihan said firmly, "is history."
"The devil it is!" said I; "and perhaps, Monsieur the mayor, your faith in giants is unimpaired?"
"The devil it is!" I said; "and maybe, Mr. Mayor, your belief in giants is still intact?"
"There were giants—everybody knows it," growled Max Fortin.
"There were giants—everyone knows it," growled Max Fortin.
"And you a chemist!" I observed scornfully.
"And you’re a chemist!" I said mockingly.
"Listen, Monsieur Darrel," squeaked Le Bihan; "you know yourself that the Purple Emperor was a scientific man. Now suppose I should tell you that he always refused to include in his collection a Death's Messenger?"
"Listen, Mr. Darrel," squeaked Le Bihan; "you know yourself that the Purple Emperor was a scientific man. Now suppose I told you that he always refused to include a Death's Messenger in his collection?"
"A what?" I exclaimed.
"A what?" I said.
"You know what I mean—that moth that flies by night; some call it the Death's Head, but in St. Gildas we call it 'Death's Messenger.'"
"You know what I mean—that moth that flies at night; some call it the Death's Head, but in St. Gildas we call it 'Death's Messenger.'"
"Oh!" said I, "you mean that big sphinx moth that is commonly known as the 'death's-head moth.' Why the mischief should the people here call it death's messenger?"
"Oh!" I said, "you mean that big sphinx moth that's usually called the 'death's-head moth.' Why on earth do the people here call it death's messenger?"
"For hundreds of years it has been known as death's messenger in St. Gildas," said Max Fortin. "Even Froissart speaks of it in his commentaries on Jacques Sorgue's Chronicles. The book is in your library."
"For hundreds of years, it’s been known as death’s messenger in St. Gildas," Max Fortin said. "Even Froissart mentions it in his commentaries on Jacques Sorgue's Chronicles. The book is in your library."
"Sorgue? And who was Jacques Sorgue? I never read his book."
"Sorgue? And who was Jacques Sorgue? I never read his book."
"Jacques Sorgue was the son of some unfrocked priest—I forget. It was during the crusades."
"Jacques Sorgue was the son of some defrocked priest—I can't remember. It was during the crusades."
"Good Heavens!" I burst out, "I've been hearing of nothing but crusades and priests and death and sorcery ever since I kicked that skull into the gravel pit, and I am tired of it, I tell you frankly. One would think we lived in the dark ages. Do you know what year of our Lord it is, Le Bihan?"
"Good heavens!" I exclaimed, "I’ve been hearing nothing but crusades, priests, death, and sorcery ever since I kicked that skull into the gravel pit, and frankly, I’m tired of it. You’d think we were living in the Dark Ages. Do you know what year it is, Le Bihan?"
"Eighteen hundred and ninety-six," replied the mayor.
"1896," said the mayor.
"And yet you two hulking men are afraid of a death's-head moth."
"And yet you two big guys are afraid of a death's-head moth."
"I don't care to have one fly into the window," said Max Fortin; "it means evil to the house and the people in it."
"I don't want one flying into the window," said Max Fortin; "it brings bad luck to the house and the people in it."
"God alone knows why he marked one of his creatures with a yellow death's head on the back," observed Le Bihan piously, "but I take it that he meant it as a warning; and I propose to profit by it," he added triumphantly.
"Only God knows why He marked one of His creatures with a yellow skull on its back," Le Bihan said with a pious tone, "but I see it as a warning; and I plan to take advantage of it," he added proudly.
"See here, Le Bihan," I said; "by a stretch of imagination one can make out a skull on the thorax of a certain big sphinx moth. What of it?"
"Listen, Le Bihan," I said; "if you use a bit of imagination, you can see a skull on the thorax of a certain large sphinx moth. So what?"
"It is a bad thing to touch," said the mayor wagging his head.
"It’s not a good idea to touch," said the mayor, shaking his head.
"It squeaks when handled," added Max Fortin.
"It squeaks when you handle it," Max Fortin added.
"Some creatures squeak all the time," I observed, looking hard at Le Bihan.
"Some creatures squeak all the time," I said, staring intently at Le Bihan.
"Pigs," added the mayor.
"Pigs," the mayor added.
"Yes, and asses," I replied. "Listen, Le Bihan: do you mean to tell me that you saw that skull roll uphill yesterday?"
"Yeah, and donkeys," I replied. "Listen, Le Bihan: are you really saying that you saw that skull roll uphill yesterday?"
The mayor shut his mouth tightly and picked up his hammer.
The mayor clenched his jaw and grabbed his hammer.
"Don't be obstinate," I said; "I asked you a question."
"Don't be stubborn," I said; "I asked you a question."
"And I refuse to answer," snapped Le Bihan. "Fortin saw what I saw; let him talk about it."
"And I’m not going to answer," Le Bihan snapped. "Fortin saw what I saw; let him talk about it."
I looked searchingly at the little chemist.
I looked closely at the little pharmacist.
"I don't say that I saw it actually roll up out of the pit, all by itself," said Fortin with a shiver, "but—but then, how did it come up out of the pit, if it didn't roll up all by itself?"
"I’m not saying I actually saw it roll up out of the pit all on its own," Fortin said, shivering, "but if it didn’t roll up by itself, then how did it come up out of the pit?"
"It didn't come up at all; that was a yellow cobblestone that you mistook for the skull again," I replied. "You were nervous, Max."
"It didn't come up at all; that was a yellow cobblestone that you mistook for the skull again," I replied. "You were nervous, Max."
"A—a very curious cobblestone, Monsieur Darrel," said Fortin.
"A—a really interesting cobblestone, Monsieur Darrel," said Fortin.
"I also was a victim to the same hallucination," I continued, "and I regret to say that I took the trouble to roll two innocent cobblestones into the gravel pit, imagining each time that it was the skull I was rolling."
"I also fell victim to the same hallucination," I continued, "and I regret to admit that I went through the trouble of rolling two innocent cobblestones into the gravel pit, imagining each time that it was a skull I was rolling."
"It was," observed Le Bihan with a morose shrug.
"It was," Le Bihan remarked with a gloomy shrug.
"It just shows," said I, ignoring the mayor's remark, "how easy it is to fix up a train of coincidences so that the result seems to savor of the supernatural. Now, last night my wife imagined that she saw a priest in a mask peer in at her window——"
"It just shows," I said, ignoring the mayor's comment, "how easy it is to create a series of coincidences that make the outcome feel supernatural. Last night, my wife thought she saw a masked priest looking in at her window—"
Fortin and Le Bihan scrambled hastily from their knees, dropping hammer and nails.
Fortin and Le Bihan quickly got up from their knees, dropping the hammer and nails.
"W-h-a-t—what's that?" demanded the mayor.
"What's that?" demanded the mayor.
I repeated what I had said. Max Fortin turned livid.
I said what I had said again. Max Fortin turned pale with rage.
"My God!" muttered Le Bihan, "the Black Priest is in St. Gildas!"
"My God!" whispered Le Bihan, "the Black Priest is in St. Gildas!"
"D-don't you—you know the old prophecy?" stammered Fortin; "Froissart quotes it from Jacques Sorgue:
"D-don't you—you know the old prophecy?" stammered Fortin; "Froissart quotes it from Jacques Sorgue:
"'When the Black Priest rises from the dead,
'When the Black Priest rises from the dead,
St. Gildas folk shall shriek in bed;
St. Gildas people will scream in bed;
When the Black Priest rises from his grave,
When the Black Priest rises from his grave,
May the good God St. Gildas save!'"
May the good God St. Gildas save us!
"Aristide Le Bihan," I said angrily, "and you, Max Fortin, I've got enough of this nonsense! Some foolish lout from Bannalec has been in St. Gildas playing tricks to frighten old fools like you. If you have nothing better to talk about than nursery legends I'll wait until you come to your senses. Good-morning." And I walked out, more disturbed than I cared to acknowledge to myself.
"Aristide Le Bihan," I said angrily, "and you, Max Fortin, I've had enough of this nonsense! Some idiot from Bannalec has been in St. Gildas pulling pranks to scare old fools like you. If all you can talk about are silly stories, I'll wait until you come to your senses. Good morning." And I walked out, more upset than I wanted to admit to myself.
The day had become misty and overcast. Heavy, wet clouds hung in the east. I heard the surf thundering against the cliffs, and the gray gulls squealed as they tossed and turned high in the sky. The tide was creeping across the river sands, higher, higher, and I saw the seaweed floating on the beach, and the lancons springing from the foam, silvery threadlike flashes in the gloom. Curlew were flying up the river in twos and threes; the timid sea swallows skimmed across the moors toward some quiet, lonely pool, safe from the coming tempest. In every hedge field birds were gathering, huddling together, twittering restlessly.
The day had become foggy and cloudy. Thick, wet clouds hung in the east. I heard the surf crashing against the cliffs, and the gray gulls cried as they twisted and turned high in the sky. The tide was slowly coming in over the river sands, higher and higher, and I saw seaweed floating on the shore, with small fish springing from the foam, shimmering threadlike flashes in the gloom. Curlews were flying up the river in pairs and threes; the shy sea swallows skimmed across the moors toward some quiet, lonely pool, safe from the approaching storm. In every hedgerow, birds were gathering, huddling together, chirping restlessly.
When I reached the cliffs I sat down, resting my chin on my clenched hands. Already a vast curtain of rain, sweeping across the ocean miles away, hid the island of Groix. To the east, behind the white semaphore on the hills, black clouds crowded up over the horizon. After a little the thunder boomed, dull, distant, and slender skeins of lightning unraveled across the crest of the coming storm. Under the cliff at my feet the surf rushed foaming over the shore, and the lancons jumped and skipped and quivered until they seemed to be but the reflections of the meshed lightning.
When I got to the cliffs, I sat down, resting my chin on my clenched hands. A vast curtain of rain, sweeping across the ocean miles away, was already obscuring the island of Groix. To the east, behind the white semaphore on the hills, dark clouds were gathering over the horizon. After a bit, thunder rumbled, dull and distant, while thin flashes of lightning danced across the crest of the approaching storm. Below the cliff at my feet, the surf rushed and foamed over the shore, and the waves jumped and skipped, shimmering until they seemed like reflections of the tangled lightning.
I turned to the east. It was raining over Groix, it was raining at Sainte Barbe, it was raining now at the semaphore. High in the storm whirl a few gulls pitched; a nearer cloud trailed veils of rain in its wake; the sky was spattered with lightning; the thunder boomed.
I turned to the east. It was raining over Groix, it was raining at Sainte Barbe, it was raining now at the semaphore. High in the storm, a few gulls circled; a nearby cloud trailed veils of rain behind it; the sky was filled with flashes of lightning; the thunder roared.
As I rose to go, a cold raindrop fell upon the back of my hand, and another, and yet another on my face. I gave a last glance at the sea, where the waves were bursting into strange white shapes that seemed to fling out menacing arms toward me. Then something moved on the cliff, something black as the black rock it clutched—a filthy cormorant, craning its hideous head at the sky.
As I got up to leave, a cold raindrop hit the back of my hand, followed by another, and then another on my face. I took one last look at the sea, where the waves were crashing into odd white shapes that seemed to reach out threateningly toward me. Then I noticed something moving on the cliff, something as black as the rock it was holding onto—a dirty cormorant, stretching its ugly head up to the sky.
Slowly I plodded homeward across the somber moorland, where the gorse stems glimmered with a dull metallic green, and the heather, no longer violet and purple, hung drenched and dun-colored among the dreary rocks. The wet turf creaked under my heavy boots, the black-thorn scraped and grated against knee and elbow. Over all lay a strange light, pallid, ghastly, where the sea spray whirled across the landscape and drove into my face until it grew numb with the cold. In broad bands, rank after rank, billow on billow, the rain burst out across the endless moors, and yet there was no wind to drive it at such a pace.
Slowly, I trudged home across the gloomy moorland, where the gorse stems shimmered with a dull metallic green, and the heather, no longer violet and purple, hung soaked and brown among the dreary rocks. The wet ground creaked under my heavy boots, and the blackthorn scraped and scratched against my knees and elbows. A strange light covered everything, pale and ghostly, as the sea spray swirled across the landscape and stung my face until it felt numb from the cold. In broad bands, row after row, wave after wave, the rain burst across the endless moors, yet there was no wind to push it along at that speed.
Lys stood at the door as I turned into the garden, motioning me to hasten; and then for the first time I became conscious that I was soaked to the skin.
Lys stood at the door as I walked into the garden, waving me to hurry up; and then for the first time, I realized I was drenched.
"However in the world did you come to stay out when such a storm threatened?" she said. "Oh, you are dripping! Go quickly and change; I have laid your warm underwear on the bed, Dick."
"How on earth did you stay out when such a storm was coming?" she said. "Oh, you're soaking! Go change quickly; I’ve put your warm clothes on the bed, Dick."
I kissed my wife, and went upstairs to change my dripping clothes for something more comfortable.
I kissed my wife and went upstairs to change out of my soaked clothes into something more comfortable.
When I returned to the morning room there was a driftwood fire on the hearth, and Lys sat in the chimney corner embroidering.
When I got back to the morning room, there was a driftwood fire in the fireplace, and Lys was sitting in the corner by the chimney, working on her embroidery.
"Catherine tells me that the fishing fleet from Lorient is out. Do you think they are in danger, dear?" asked Lys, raising her blue eyes to mine as I entered.
"Catherine told me that the fishing fleet from Lorient is out. Do you think they're in danger, dear?" asked Lys, raising her blue eyes to mine as I walked in.
"There is no wind, and there will be no sea," said I, looking out of the window. Far across the moor I could see the black cliffs looming in the mist.
"There’s no wind, and there won’t be any sea," I said, looking out the window. Far across the moor, I could see the black cliffs rising in the mist.
"How it rains!" murmured Lys; "come to the fire, Dick."
"Wow, it's really raining!" murmured Lys; "come sit by the fire, Dick."
I threw myself on the fur rug, my hands in my pockets, my head on Lys's knees.
I collapsed onto the fur rug, my hands in my pockets, my head resting on Lys's knees.
"Tell me a story," I said. "I feel like a boy of ten."
"Tell me a story," I said. "I feel like I'm ten years old."
Lys raised a finger to her scarlet lips. I always waited for her to do that.
Lys raised a finger to her red lips. I always waited for her to do that.
"Will you be very still, then?" she said.
"Will you be very still, then?" she asked.
"Still as death."
"Still as the grave."
"Death," echoed a voice, very softly.
"Death," a voice whispered softly.
"Did you speak, Lys?" I asked, turning so that I could see her face.
"Did you say something, Lys?" I asked, turning so that I could see her face.
"No; did you, Dick?"
"Nope; did you, Dick?"
"Who said 'death'?" I asked, startled.
"Who said 'death'?" I asked, surprised.
"Death," echoed a voice, softly.
"Death," a voice softly echoed.
I sprang up and looked about. Lys rose too, her needles and embroidery falling to the floor. She seemed about to faint, leaning heavily on me, and I led her to the window and opened it a little way to give her air. As I did so the chain lightning split the zenith, the thunder crashed, and a sheet of rain swept into the room, driving with it something that fluttered—something that flapped, and squeaked, and beat upon the rug with soft, moist wings.
I jumped up and glanced around. Lys got up too, her needles and embroidery dropping to the floor. She looked like she was about to faint, leaning heavily on me, so I took her to the window and opened it a little to let in some fresh air. Just as I did that, a chain of lightning lit up the sky, thunder boomed, and a wave of rain rushed into the room, bringing with it something that fluttered—something that flapped, squeaked, and thudded softly onto the rug with damp wings.
We bent over it together, Lys clinging to me, and we saw that it was a death's-head moth drenched with rain.
We leaned over it together, Lys holding onto me, and we saw that it was a death's-head moth soaked with rain.
The dark day passed slowly as we sat beside the fire, hand in hand, her head against my breast, speaking of sorrow and mystery and death. For Lys believed that there were things on earth that none might understand, things that must be nameless forever and ever, until God rolls up the scroll of life and all is ended. We spoke of hope and fear and faith, and the mystery of the saints; we spoke of the beginning and the end, of the shadow of sin, of omens, and of love. The moth still lay on the floor quivering its somber wings in the warmth of the fire, the skull and ribs clearly etched upon its neck and body.
The dark day dragged on as we sat by the fire, hand in hand, her head resting against my chest, talking about sorrow, mystery, and death. Lys believed there were things on earth that nobody could understand, things that would remain nameless forever, until God closes the book of life and everything is finished. We talked about hope, fear, and faith, and the mystery of the saints; we discussed the beginning and the end, the shadow of sin, omens, and love. The moth still lay on the floor, trembling its dark wings in the warmth of the fire, its skull and ribs clearly visible on its neck and body.
"If it is a messenger of death to this house," I said, "why should we fear, Lys?"
"If it's a messenger of death for this house," I said, "why should we be afraid, Lys?"
"Death should be welcome to those who love God," murmured Lys, and she drew the cross from her breast and kissed it.
"Death should be welcomed by those who love God," murmured Lys, and she took the cross from her chest and kissed it.
"The moth might die if I threw it out into the storm," I said after a silence.
"The moth could die if I tossed it out into the storm," I said after a pause.
"Let it remain," sighed Lys.
"Let it stay," sighed Lys.
Late that night my wife lay sleeping, and I sat beside her bed and read in the Chronicle of Jacques Sorgue. I shaded the candle, but Lys grew restless, and finally I took the book down into the morning room, where the ashes of the fire rustled and whitened on the hearth.
Late that night, my wife was sleeping, and I sat by her bed reading the Chronicle of Jacques Sorgue. I dimmed the candlelight, but Lys became restless, so eventually, I took the book down to the morning room, where the ashes of the fire crackled and turned white on the hearth.
The death's-head moth lay on the rug before the fire where I had left it. At first I thought it was dead, but when I looked closer I saw a lambent fire in its amber eyes. The straight white shadow it cast across the floor wavered as the candle flickered.
The death's-head moth was on the rug in front of the fire where I had left it. At first, I thought it was dead, but when I looked closer, I saw a soft glow in its amber eyes. The straight white shadow it cast on the floor flickered as the candlelight danced.
The pages of the Chronicle of Jacques Sorgue were damp and sticky; the illuminated gold and blue initials left flakes of azure and gilt where my hand brushed them.
The pages of the Chronicle of Jacques Sorgue were wet and sticky; the gold and blue illuminated initials left bits of blue and gold wherever my hand touched them.
"It is not paper at all; it is thin parchment," I said to myself; and I held the discolored page close to the candle flame and read, translating laboriously:
"It’s not paper at all; it’s thin parchment," I said to myself, and I held the discolored page close to the candle flame and read, translating it slowly:
"I, Jacques Sorgue, saw all these things. And I saw the Black Mass celebrated in the chapel of St. Gildas-on-the-Cliff. And it was said by the Abbé Sorgue, my kinsman: for which deadly sin the apostate priest was seized by the most noble Marquis of Plougastel and by him condemned to be burned with hot irons, until his seared soul quit its body and fly to its master the devil. But when the Black Priest lay in the crypt of Plougastel, his master Satan came at night and set him free, and carried him across land and sea to Mahmoud, which is Soldan or Saladin. And I, Jacques Sorgue, traveling afterward by sea, beheld with my own eyes my kinsman, the Black Priest of St. Gildas, borne along in the air upon a vast black wing, which was the wing of his master Satan. And this was seen also by two men of the crew."
"I, Jacques Sorgue, witnessed all of this. I saw the Black Mass taking place in the chapel of St. Gildas-on-the-Cliff. It was led by Abbé Sorgue, my relative, for which he was captured by the noble Marquis of Plougastel and sentenced to be burned with hot irons until his scorched soul left its body and flew to his master, the devil. But when the Black Priest was in the crypt of Plougastel, his master Satan came at night and freed him, carrying him across land and sea to Mahmoud, also known as Soldan or Saladin. Later, while traveling by sea, I, Jacques Sorgue, saw with my own eyes my relative, the Black Priest of St. Gildas, being carried through the air on a huge black wing, which belonged to his master Satan. This was also witnessed by two members of the crew."
I turned the page. The wings of the moth on the floor began to quiver. I read on and on, my eyes blurring under the shifting candle flame. I read of battles and of saints, and I learned how the Great Soldan made his pact with Satan, and then I came to the Sieur de Trevec, and read how he seized the Black Priest in the midst of Saladin's tents and carried him away and cut off his head first branding him on the forehead. "And before he suffered," said the Chronicle, "he cursed the Sieur de Trevec and his descendants, and he said he would surely return to St. Gildas. 'For the violence you do to me, I will do violence to you. For the evil I suffer at your hands, I will work evil on you and your descendants. Woe to your children, Sieur de Trevec!'" There was a whirr, a beating of strong wings, and my candle flashed up as in a sudden breeze. A humming filled the room; the great moth darted hither and thither, beating, buzzing, on ceiling and wall. I flung down my book and stepped forward. Now it lay fluttering upon the window sill, and for a moment I had it under my hand, but the thing squeaked and I shrank back. Then suddenly it darted across the candle flame; the light flared and went out, and at the same moment a shadow moved in the darkness outside. I raised my eyes to the window. A masked face was peering in at me.
I turned the page. The wings of the moth on the floor started to flutter. I kept reading, my eyes blurring under the flickering candlelight. I read about battles and saints, and I learned how the Great Soldan made his deal with Satan, and then I came to the Sieur de Trevec, where it described how he captured the Black Priest in the middle of Saladin's tents, took him away, and beheaded him, branding him on the forehead first. "And before he died," the Chronicle said, "he cursed the Sieur de Trevec and his descendants, declaring he would definitely return to St. Gildas. 'For the violence you inflict on me, I will return it upon you. For the evil I endure at your hands, I will bring evil upon you and your descendants. Woe to your children, Sieur de Trevec!'" There was a rush, a flapping of strong wings, and my candle flared up suddenly as if caught in a gust of wind. A humming filled the room; the large moth zipped around, buzzing against the ceiling and walls. I dropped my book and stepped forward. Now it was fluttering on the windowsill, and for a moment I had it under my hand, but it squeaked and I pulled back. Then suddenly it zipped across the candle flame; the light flared and went out, and at that same moment, I noticed a shadow moving in the darkness outside. I looked up at the window. A masked face was staring in at me.
Quick as thought I whipped out my revolver and fired every cartridge, but the face advanced beyond the window, the glass melting away before it like mist, and through the smoke of my revolver I saw something creep swiftly into the room. Then I tried to cry out, but the thing was at my throat, and I fell backward among the ashes of the hearth.
Quick as a thought, I pulled out my revolver and fired off every bullet, but the face moved closer to the window, the glass disappearing like mist, and through the smoke from my gun, I saw something quickly crawl into the room. Then I tried to scream, but the thing was at my throat, and I fell backward into the ashes of the fireplace.
When my eyes unclosed I was lying on the hearth, my head among the cold ashes. Slowly I got on my knees, rose painfully, and groped my way to a chair. On the floor lay my revolver, shining in the pale light of early morning. My mind clearing by degrees, I looked, shuddering, at the window. The glass was unbroken. I stooped stiffly, picked up my revolver and opened the cylinder. Every cartridge had been fired. Mechanically I closed the cylinder and placed the revolver in my pocket. The book, the Chronicles of Jacques Sorgue, lay on the table beside me, and as I started to close it I glanced at the page. It was all splashed with rain, and the lettering had run, so that the page was merely a confused blur of gold and red and black. As I stumbled toward the door I cast a fearful glance over my shoulder. The death's-head moth crawled shivering on the rug.
When I opened my eyes, I was lying on the hearth, my head resting in the cold ashes. Slowly, I got to my knees, stood up with difficulty, and felt my way to a chair. My revolver lay on the floor, glinting in the pale light of early morning. As my mind gradually cleared, I looked at the window, shuddering. The glass was unbroken. I bent down stiffly, picked up my revolver, and opened the cylinder. Every bullet had been fired. Automatically, I closed the cylinder and put the revolver in my pocket. The book, the Chronicles of Jacques Sorgue, was on the table next to me, and as I began to close it, I glanced at the page. It was soaked with rain, and the ink had run, making the page a messy blur of gold, red, and black. As I stumbled toward the door, I nervously looked over my shoulder. The death's-head moth was crawling shivering on the rug.
IV
The sun was about three hours high. I must have slept, for I was aroused by the sudden gallop of horses under our window. People were shouting and calling in the road. I sprang up and opened the sash. Le Bihan was there, an image of helplessness, and Max Fortin stood beside him polishing his glasses. Some gendarmes had just arrived from Quimperle, and I could hear them around the corner of the house, stamping, and rattling their sabres and carbines, as they led their horses into my stable.
The sun was about three hours high. I must have dozed off because I was jolted awake by the sound of galloping horses outside our window. People were shouting and calling out on the road. I jumped up and opened the window. Le Bihan was there, looking completely helpless, and Max Fortin stood next to him, cleaning his glasses. Some police officers had just arrived from Quimperle, and I could hear them around the corner of the house, stomping and clanging their sabers and rifles as they brought their horses into my stable.
Lys sat up, murmuring half-sleepy, half-anxious questions.
Lys sat up, mumbling a mix of sleepy and anxious questions.
"I don't know," I answered. "I am going out to see what it means."
"I don't know," I replied. "I'm going to find out what it means."
"It is like the day they came to arrest you," Lys said, giving me a troubled look. But I kissed her and laughed at her until she smiled too. Then I flung on coat and cap and hurried down the stairs.
"It’s just like the day they came to arrest you," Lys said, giving me a worried look. But I kissed her and laughed until she smiled as well. Then I threw on my coat and hat and rushed down the stairs.
The first person I saw standing in the road was the Brigadier Durand.
The first person I saw standing in the road was Brigadier Durand.
"Hello!" said I, "have you come to arrest me again? What the devil is all this fuss about, anyway?"
"Hello!" I said, "are you here to arrest me again? What's all this fuss about, anyway?"
"We were telegraphed for an hour ago," said Durand briskly, "and for a sufficient reason, I think. Look there, Monsieur Darrel!"
"We got a telegram about an hour ago," Durand said quickly, "and I believe it’s for a good reason. Look over there, Monsieur Darrel!"
He pointed to the ground almost under my feet.
He pointed to the ground nearly right below me.
"Good heavens!" I cried, "where did that puddle of blood come from?"
"Wow!" I exclaimed, "where did that puddle of blood come from?"
"That's what I want to know, Monsieur Darrel. Max Fortin found it at daybreak. See, it's splashed all over the grass, too. A trail of it leads into your garden, across the flower beds to your very window, the one that opens from the morning room. There is another trail leading from this spot across the road to the cliffs, then to the gravel pit, and thence across the moor to the forest of Kerselec. We are going to mount in a minute and search the bosquets. Will you join us? Bon Dieu! but the fellow bled like an ox. Max Fortin says it's human blood, or I should not have believed it."
"That's what I want to know, Mr. Darrel. Max Fortin found it at dawn. Look, it's all over the grass, too. A trail of it goes into your garden, across the flower beds to your window, the one that opens from the morning room. There's another trail leading from this spot across the road to the cliffs, then to the gravel pit, and then across the moor to the Kerselec forest. We're going to head out in a minute and search the bushes. Will you join us? Good Lord! That guy bled like a stuck pig. Max Fortin says it's human blood, or I wouldn't have believed it."
The little chemist of Quimperle came up at that moment, rubbing his glasses with a colored handkerchief.
The young chemist from Quimperle appeared at that moment, wiping his glasses with a colored handkerchief.
"Yes, it is human blood," he said, "but one thing puzzles me: the corpuscles are yellow. I never saw any human blood before with yellow corpuscles. But your English Doctor Thompson asserts that he has——"
"Yes, it is human blood," he said, "but one thing puzzles me: the cells are yellow. I've never seen human blood before with yellow cells. But your English Doctor Thompson claims that he has——"
"Well, it's human blood, anyway—isn't it?" insisted Durand, impatiently.
"Well, it's human blood, anyway, right?" Durand insisted, impatiently.
"Ye-es," admitted Max Fortin.
"Yeah," admitted Max Fortin.
"Then it's my business to trail it," said the big gendarme, and he called his men and gave the order to mount.
"Then it's my job to follow it," said the big cop, and he called his men and ordered them to get on their horses.
"Did you hear anything last night?" asked Durand of me.
"Did you hear anything last night?" Durand asked me.
"I heard the rain. I wonder the rain did not wash away these traces."
"I heard the rain. I wonder why the rain didn't wash away these traces."
"They must have come after the rain ceased. See this thick splash, how it lies over and weighs down the wet grass blades. Pah!"
"They must have come after the rain stopped. Look at this thick splash, how it sits on and weighs down the wet grass blades. Ugh!"
It was a heavy, evil-looking clot, and I stepped back from it, my throat closing in disgust.
It was a thick, nasty blob, and I stepped back from it, my throat tightening in disgust.
"My theory," said the brigadier, "is this: Some of those Biribi fishermen, probably the Icelanders, got an extra glass of cognac into their hides and quarreled on the road. Some of them were slashed, and staggered to your house. But there is only one trail, and yet—and yet, how could all that blood come from only one person? Well, the wounded man, let us say, staggered first to your house and then back here, and he wandered off, drunk and dying, God knows where. That's my theory."
"My theory," the brigadier said, "is this: Some of those Biribi fishermen, probably the Icelanders, had one too many glasses of cognac and got into a fight on the way. A few of them got cut and stumbled to your house. But there's only one trail, and still—how could all that blood come from just one person? Well, let’s say the injured guy first made it to your house and then came back here, and after that, he wandered off, drunk and dying, God knows where. That’s my theory."
"A very good one," said I calmly. "And you are going to trail him?"
"A really good one," I said calmly. "And you're going to follow him?"
"Yes."
"Yeah."
"When?"
"When will it happen?"
"At once. Will you come?"
"Right now. Will you come?"
"Not now. I'll gallop over by-and-bye. You are going to the edge of the Kerselec forest?"
"Not right now. I'll ride over later. Are you headed to the edge of the Kerselec forest?"
"Yes; you will hear us calling. Are you coming, Max Fortin? And you, Le Bihan? Good; take the dog-cart."
"Yes; you'll hear us calling. Are you coming, Max Fortin? And you, Le Bihan? Great; take the dog cart."
The big gendarme tramped around the corner to the stable and presently returned mounted on a strong gray horse, his sabre shone on his saddle; his pale yellow and white facings were spotless. The little crowd of white-coiffed women with their children fell back as Durand touched spurs and clattered away followed by his two troopers. Soon after Le Bihan and Max Fortin also departed in the mayor's dingy dog-cart.
The big cop marched around the corner to the stable and soon came back riding a strong gray horse, his sword shining on his saddle; his pale yellow and white uniform was spotless. The small group of white-haired women with their kids stepped back as Durand spurred his horse and clattered away with his two officers following him. Shortly after, Le Bihan and Max Fortin also left in the mayor's shabby old cart.
"Are you coming?" piped Le Bihan shrilly.
"Are you coming?" called Le Bihan sharply.
"In a quarter of an hour," I replied, and went back to the house.
"In fifteen minutes," I said, and went back inside the house.
When I opened the door of the morning room the death's-head moth was beating its strong wings against the window. For a second I hesitated, then walked over and opened the sash. The creature fluttered out, whirred over the flower beds a moment, then darted across the moorland toward the sea. I called the servants together and questioned them. Josephine, Catherine, Jean Marie Tregunc, not one of them had heard the slightest disturbance during the night. Then I told Jean Marie to saddle my horse, and while I was speaking Lys came down.
When I opened the door to the morning room, the death's-head moth was banging its strong wings against the window. For a moment, I hesitated, then went over and opened the window. The moth fluttered out, buzzed over the flower beds for a moment, then darted across the moorland toward the sea. I gathered the servants and questioned them. Josephine, Catherine, Jean Marie Tregunc—none of them had heard the slightest noise during the night. Then I told Jean Marie to saddle my horse, and while I was talking, Lys came down.
"Dearest," I began, going to her.
"Dearest," I started, walking over to her.
"You must tell me everything you know, Dick," she interrupted, looking me earnestly in the face.
"You have to tell me everything you know, Dick," she interrupted, looking me straight in the eye.
"But there is nothing to tell—only a drunken brawl, and some one wounded."
"But there's nothing to say—just a drunken fight, and someone hurt."
"And you are going to ride—where, Dick?"
"And where are you going to ride, Dick?"
"Well, over to the edge of Kerselec forest. Durand and the mayor, and Max Fortin, have gone on, following a—a trail."
"Well, over to the edge of Kerselec forest. Durand, the mayor, and Max Fortin have moved on, following a trail."
"What trail?"
"What path?"
"Some blood."
"Some blood."
"Where did they find it?"
"Where did they discover it?"
"Out in the road there." Lys crossed herself.
"Out on the road there." Lys made the sign of the cross.
"Does it come near our house?"
"Does it come close to our house?"
"Yes."
"Yep."
"How near?"
"How close?"
"It comes up to the morning room window," said I, giving in.
"It reaches the morning room window," I said, giving in.
Her hand on my arm grew heavy. "I dreamed last night——"
Her hand on my arm felt heavy. "I dreamed last night—"
"So did I—" but I thought of the empty cartridges in my revolver, and stopped.
"So did I—" but I remembered the empty cartridges in my revolver and stopped.
"I dreamed that you were in great danger, and I could not move hand or foot to save you; but you had your revolver, and I called out to you to fire——"
"I dreamed you were in serious danger, and I couldn't move to help you; but you had your gun, and I shouted for you to shoot——"
"I did fire!" I cried excitedly.
"I did fire!" I shouted with excitement.
"You—you fired?"
"You—did you get fired?"
I took her in my arms. "My darling," I said "something strange has happened—something that I cannot understand as yet. But, of course, there is an explanation. Last night I thought I fired at the Black Priest."
I held her close. "My love," I said, "something weird has happened—something I can't quite grasp yet. But, of course, there’s an explanation. Last night, I thought I shot at the Black Priest."
"Ah!" gasped Lys.
"Wow!" gasped Lys.
"Is that what you dreamed?"
"Is that what you wished for?"
"Yes, yes, that was it! I begged you to fire——"
"Yes, yes, that was it! I begged you to let me go——"
"And I did."
"And I did."
Her heart was beating against my breast. I held her close in silence.
Her heart was pounding against my chest. I held her tightly in silence.
"Dick," she said at length, "perhaps you killed the—the thing."
"Dick," she finally said, "maybe you killed the—the thing."
"If it was human I did not miss," I answered grimly. "And it was human," I went on, pulling myself together, ashamed of having so nearly gone to pieces. "Of course it was human! The whole affair is plain enough. Not a drunken brawl, as Durand thinks; it was a drunken lout's practical joke, for which he has suffered. I suppose I must have filled him pretty full of bullets, and he has crawled away to die in Kerselec forest. It's a terrible affair; I'm sorry I fired so hastily; but that idiot Le Bihan and Max Fortin have been working on my nerves till I am as hysterical as a schoolgirl," I ended angrily.
"If it was human, I didn't miss," I replied grimly. "And it was human," I continued, gathering myself, embarrassed for almost breaking down. "Of course it was human! The whole situation is pretty clear. Not a drunken fight, like Durand thinks; it was a practical joke by some drunk idiot, for which he has paid the price. I must have pumped him full of bullets, and now he's crawled off to die in Kerselec forest. It's an awful situation; I regret firing so quickly; but that fool Le Bihan and Max Fortin have been getting on my nerves until I'm as hysterical as a schoolgirl," I concluded angrily.
"You fired—but the window glass was not shattered," said Lys in a low voice.
"You shot, but the window glass didn't break," said Lys quietly.
"Well, the window was open, then. And as for the—the rest—I've got nervous indigestion, and a doctor will settle the Black Priest for me, Lys."
"Well, the window was open, then. And as for the rest, I have nervous indigestion, and a doctor will take care of the Black Priest for me, Lys."
I glanced out of the window at Tregunc waiting with my horse at the gate.
I looked out the window at Tregunc, waiting with my horse at the gate.
"Dearest, I think I had better go to join Durand and the others."
"Dear, I think I should go join Durand and the others."
"I will go, too."
"I'm going, too."
"Oh, no!"
"Oh, no!"
"Yes, Dick."
"Yeah, Dick."
"Don't, Lys."
"Don't do it, Lys."
"I shall suffer every moment you are away."
"I'll feel the pain every second you’re gone."
"The ride is too fatiguing, and we can't tell what unpleasant sight you may come upon. Lys, you don't really think there is anything supernatural in this affair?"
"The ride is too exhausting, and we can't predict what unpleasant sight you might encounter. Lys, do you really think there's anything supernatural going on in this situation?"
"Dick," she answered gently, "I am a Bretonne." With both arms around my neck, my wife said, "Death is the gift of God. I do not fear it when we are together. But alone—oh, my husband, I should fear a God who could take you away from me!"
"Dick," she replied softly, "I am a Bretonne." With both arms wrapped around my neck, my wife said, "Death is a gift from God. I don’t fear it when we’re together. But alone—oh, my husband, I would fear a God who could take you away from me!"
We kissed each other soberly, simply, like two children. Then Lys hurried away to change her gown, and I paced up and down the garden waiting for her.
We kissed each other seriously, just like two kids. Then Lys rushed off to change her dress, and I walked back and forth in the garden waiting for her.
She came, drawing on her slender gauntlets. I swung her into the saddle, gave a hasty order to Jean Marie, and mounted.
She arrived, putting on her slim gloves. I lifted her into the saddle, quickly shouted an order to Jean Marie, and got on my own horse.
Now, to quail under thoughts of terror on a morning like this, with Lys in the saddle beside me, no matter what had happened or might happen was impossible. Moreover, Môme came sneaking after us. I asked Tregunc to catch him, for I was afraid he might be brained by our horses' hoofs if he followed, but the wily puppy dodged and bolted after Lys, who was trotting along the highroad. "Never mind," I thought; "if he's hit he'll live, for he has no brains to lose."
Now, feeling scared on a morning like this, with Lys riding next to me, no matter what had happened or could happen, was impossible. Plus, Môme was sneaking after us. I asked Tregunc to catch him because I was worried he might get trampled by our horses, but the clever little pup dodged and ran after Lys, who was trotting down the road. "Never mind," I thought; "if he gets hit, he'll survive since he has no brains to lose."
Lys was waiting for me in the road beside the Shrine of Our Lady of St. Gildas when I joined her. She crossed herself, I doffed my cap, then we shook out our bridles and galloped toward the forest of Kerselec.
Lys was waiting for me on the road next to the Shrine of Our Lady of St. Gildas when I arrived. She crossed herself, I took off my hat, then we shook out our reins and raced toward the Kerselec forest.
We said very little as we rode. I always loved to watch Lys in the saddle. Her exquisite figure and lovely face were the incarnation of youth and grace; her curling hair glistened like threaded gold.
We didn't say much as we rode. I always loved watching Lys in the saddle. Her beautiful figure and pretty face embodied youth and grace; her curly hair shone like spun gold.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw the spoiled puppy Môme come bounding cheerfully alongside, oblivious of our horses' heels. Our road swung close to the cliffs. A filthy cormorant rose from the black rocks and flapped heavily across our path. Lys's horse reared, but she pulled him down, and pointed at the bird with her riding crop.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the spoiled puppy Môme bounding happily alongside, completely unaware of our horses' hooves. Our path ran close to the cliffs. A dirty cormorant took off from the dark rocks and flapped heavily across our way. Lys's horse jumped up, but she brought him back down and pointed at the bird with her riding crop.
"I see," said I; "it seems to be going our way. Curious to see a cormorant in a forest, isn't it?"
"I see," I said; "it looks like things are going our way. It's interesting to see a cormorant in a forest, right?"
"It is a bad sign," said Lys. "You know the Morbihan proverb: 'When the cormorant turns from the sea, Death laughs in the forest, and wise woodsmen build boats.'"
"It’s a bad sign," said Lys. "You know the Morbihan saying: 'When the cormorant turns away from the sea, Death laughs in the forest, and smart woodsmen build boats.'"
"I wish," said I sincerely, "that there were fewer proverbs in Brittany."
"I really wish," I said earnestly, "that there were fewer proverbs in Brittany."
We were in sight of the forest now; across the gorse I could see the sparkle of gendarmes' trappings, and the glitter of Le Bihan's silver-buttoned jacket. The hedge was low and we took it without difficulty, and trotted across the moor to where Le Bihan and Durand stood gesticulating.
We could now see the forest; through the gorse, I caught a glimpse of the sparkle from the gendarmes' gear and the shine of Le Bihan's jacket with silver buttons. The hedge was low, so we crossed it easily and trotted across the moor to where Le Bihan and Durand were gesturing wildly.
They bowed ceremoniously to Lys as we rode up.
They bowed politely to Lys as we rode up.
"The trail is horrible—it is a river," said the mayor in his squeaky voice. "Monsieur Darrel, I think perhaps madame would scarcely care to come any nearer."
"The trail is terrible—it’s a river," said the mayor in his high-pitched voice. "Monsieur Darrel, I think madame probably wouldn’t want to come any closer."
Lys drew bridle and looked at me.
Lys pulled up the reins and looked at me.
"It is horrible!" said Durand, walking up beside me; "it looks as though a bleeding regiment had passed this way. The trail winds and winds about here in the thickets; we lose it at times, but we always find it again. I can't understand how one man—no, nor twenty—could bleed like that!"
"It’s terrible!" Durand exclaimed as he walked up beside me. "It looks like a bleeding regiment went through here. The path twists and turns through the bushes; sometimes we lose it, but we always find it again. I can’t understand how one person—let alone twenty—could bleed like this!"
A halloo, answered by another, sounded from the depths of the forest.
A shout, answered by another, echoed from deep within the forest.
"It's my men; they are following the trail," muttered the brigadier. "God alone knows what is at the end!"
"It's my men; they're following the trail," whispered the brigadier. "Only God knows what's at the end!"
"Shall we gallop back, Lys?" I asked.
"Should we ride back quickly, Lys?" I asked.
"No; let us ride along the western edge of the woods and dismount. The sun is so hot now, and I should like to rest for a moment," she said.
"No; let’s ride along the western edge of the woods and get off. The sun is really hot now, and I’d like to take a break for a moment," she said.
"The western forest is clear of anything disagreeable," said Durand.
"The western forest is free from anything unpleasant," said Durand.
"Very well," I answered; "call me, Le Bihan, if you find anything."
"Alright," I said; "let me know, Le Bihan, if you find anything."
Lys wheeled her mare, and I followed across the springy heather, Môme trotting cheerfully in the rear.
Lys turned her horse around, and I followed over the springy heather, Môme happily trotting behind us.
We entered the sunny woods about a quarter of a kilometer from where we left Durand. I took Lys from her horse, flung both bridles over a limb, and, giving my wife my arm, aided her to a flat mossy rock which overhung a shallow brook gurgling among the beech trees. Lys sat down and drew off her gauntlets. Môme pushed his head into her lap, received an undeserved caress, and came doubtfully toward me. I was weak enough to condone his offense, but I made him lie down at my feet, greatly to his disgust.
We entered the sunny woods about a quarter of a kilometer from where we left Durand. I took Lys off her horse, tossed both bridles over a branch, and, offering my arm to my wife, helped her onto a flat, mossy rock that overlooked a shallow brook bubbling between the beech trees. Lys sat down and removed her gloves. Môme nudged his head into her lap, got an undeserved scratch, and then hesitantly approached me. I was weak enough to forgive his misbehavior, but I made him lie down at my feet, much to his irritation.
I rested my head on Lys's knees, looking up at the sky through the crossed branches of the trees.
I rested my head on Lys's knees, gazing up at the sky through the crossed branches of the trees.
"I suppose I have killed him," I said. "It shocks me terribly, Lys."
"I guess I’ve killed him," I said. "It really shocks me, Lys."
"You could not have known, dear. He may have been a robber, and—if—not—did—have you ever fired your revolver since that day four years ago when the Red Admiral's son tried to kill you? But I know you have not."
"You couldn’t have known, dear. He might have been a thief, and—if not—have you ever fired your gun since that day four years ago when the Red Admiral's son tried to kill you? But I know you haven’t."
"No," said I, wondering. "It's a fact, I have not. Why?"
"No," I said, puzzled. "It's true, I haven't. Why?"
"And don't you remember that I asked you to let me load it for you the day when Yves went off, swearing to kill you and his father?"
"And don't you remember that I asked you to let me load it for you the day when Yves left, swearing he would kill you and his dad?"
"Yes, I do remember. Well?"
"Yes, I remember. What’s up?"
"Well, I—I took the cartridges first to St. Gildas chapel and dipped them in holy water. You must not laugh, Dick," said Lys gently, laying her cool hands on my lips.
"Well, I—I took the cartridges first to St. Gildas chapel and dipped them in holy water. You mustn't laugh, Dick," Lys said gently, placing her cool hands over my lips.
"Laugh, my darling!"
"LOL, my darling!"
Overhead the October sky was pale amethyst, and the sunlight burned like orange flame through the yellow leaves of beech and oak. Gnats and midges danced and wavered overhead; a spider dropped from a twig halfway to the ground and hung suspended on the end of his gossamer thread.
Overhead, the October sky was a light purple, and the sunlight shone brightly like an orange flame through the yellow leaves of beech and oak. Gnats and midges floated and moved around above; a spider dropped from a twig halfway to the ground and dangled from the end of its delicate thread.
"Are you sleepy, dear?" asked Lys, bending over me.
"Are you tired, sweetheart?" asked Lys, leaning over me.
"I am—a little; I scarcely slept two hours last night," I answered.
"I’m a bit tired; I hardly slept for two hours last night," I replied.
"You may sleep, if you wish," said Lys, and touched my eyes caressingly.
"You can sleep if you want," Lys said, gently touching my eyes.
"Is my head heavy on your knees?"
"Is my head feeling heavy on your knees?"
"No, Dick."
"No, dude."
I was already in a half doze; still I heard the brook babbling under the beeches and the humming of forest flies overhead. Presently even these were stilled.
I was already half asleep; still, I heard the brook gurgling under the beeches and the buzzing of forest flies above. Soon, even these sounds faded away.
The next thing I knew I was sitting bolt upright, my ears ringing with a scream, and I saw Lys cowering beside me, covering her white face with both hands.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting up straight, my ears ringing from a scream, and I saw Lys huddled beside me, covering her pale face with both hands.
As I sprang to my feet she cried again and clung to my knees. I saw my dog rush growling into a thicket, then I heard him whimper, and he came backing out, whining, ears flat, tail down. I stooped and disengaged Lys's hand.
As I jumped to my feet, she shouted again and clung to my knees. I saw my dog rush growling into a bush, then I heard him whimper, and he came backing out, whining, ears flat, tail down. I bent down and pulled Lys’s hand away.
"Don't go, Dick!" she cried. "O God, it's the Black Priest!"
"Don't leave, Dick!" she exclaimed. "Oh God, it's the Black Priest!"
In a moment I had leaped across the brook and pushed my way into the thicket. It was empty. I stared about me; I scanned every tree trunk, every bush. Suddenly I saw him. He was seated on a fallen log, his head resting in his hands, his rusty black robe gathered around him. For a moment my hair stirred under my cap; sweat started on forehead and cheek bone; then I recovered my reason, and understood that the man was human and was probably wounded to death. Ay, to death; for there at my feet, lay the wet trail of blood, over leaves and stones, down into the little hollow, across to the figure in black resting silently under the trees.
In a moment, I had jumped across the stream and pushed my way into the thicket. It was empty. I looked around; I scanned every tree trunk and every bush. Suddenly, I spotted him. He was sitting on a fallen log, his head resting in his hands, his worn black robe gathered around him. For a moment, my hair stood up under my cap; sweat trickled down my forehead and cheekbone; then I regained my composure and realized that the man was human and was probably mortally wounded. Yes, mortally wounded; for there at my feet lay a wet trail of blood, smeared over leaves and stones, leading down into the little hollow, across to the figure in black resting silently under the trees.
I saw that he could not escape even if he had the strength, for before him, almost at his very feet, lay a deep, shining swamp.
I saw that he couldn't escape even if he were strong, because right in front of him, almost at his feet, was a deep, shining swamp.
As I stepped forward my foot broke a twig. At the sound the figure started a little, then its head fell forward again. Its face was masked. Walking up to the man, I bade him tell where he was wounded. Durand and the others broke through the thicket at the same moment and hurried to my side.
As I stepped forward, my foot snapped a twig. At the noise, the figure jumped slightly, then its head dropped forward again. Its face was covered. I walked up to the man and asked him where he was hurt. Durand and the others pushed through the bushes at the same time and rushed to my side.
"Who are you who hide a masked face in a priest's robe?" said the gendarme loudly.
"Who are you hiding behind a masked face in a priest's robe?" said the gendarme loudly.
There was no answer.
No response.
"See—see the stiff blood all over his robe," muttered Le Bihan to Fortin.
"Look—look at the thick blood all over his robe," murmured Le Bihan to Fortin.
"He will not speak," said I.
"He won't chat," I said.
"He may be too badly wounded," whispered Le Bihan.
"He might be too badly hurt," whispered Le Bihan.
"I saw him raise his head," I said, "my wife saw him creep up here."
"I saw him lift his head," I said, "my wife saw him sneak up here."
Durand stepped forward and touched the figure.
Durand stepped forward and touched the figure.
"Speak!" he said.
"Talk!" he said.
"Speak!" quavered Fortin.
"Talk!" quavered Fortin.
Durand waited a moment, then with a sudden upward movement he stripped off the mask and threw back the man's head. We were looking into the eye sockets of a skull. Durand stood rigid; the mayor shrieked. The skeleton burst out from its rotting robes and collapsed on the ground before us. From between the staring ribs and the grinning teeth spurted a torrent of black blood, showering the shrinking grasses; then the thing shuddered, and fell over into the black ooze of the bog. Little bubbles of iridescent air appeared from the mud; the bones were slowly engulfed, and, as the last fragments sank out of sight, up from the depths and along the bank crept a creature, shiny, shivering, quivering its wings.
Durand paused for a moment, then suddenly pulled off the mask and tilted the man's head back. We were staring into the eye sockets of a skull. Durand stood still; the mayor screamed. The skeleton erupted from its decaying robes and collapsed on the ground in front of us. A torrent of black blood spurted from the gaping ribs and grinning teeth, showering the withering grass; then the thing trembled and fell into the dark muck of the bog. Little bubbles of shimmering air rose from the mud; the bones were slowly swallowed up, and as the last pieces disappeared, a creature emerged from the depths and along the bank, shiny, shivering, fluttering its wings.
It was a death's-head moth.
It was a skull moth.
I wish I had time to tell you how Lys outgrew superstitions—for she never knew the truth about the affair, and she never will know, since she has promised not to read this book. I wish I might tell you about the king and his coronation, and how the coronation robe fitted. I wish that I were able to write how Yvonne and Herbert Stuart rode to a boar hunt in Quimperle, and how the hounds raced the quarry right through the town, overturning three gendarmes, the notary, and an old woman. But I am becoming garrulous and Lys is calling me to come and hear the king say that he is sleepy. And his highness shall not be kept waiting.
I wish I had time to tell you how Lys moved past her superstitions—she never learned the truth about the whole situation, and she never will since she promised not to read this book. I wish I could share the story of the king and his coronation, and how the coronation robe fit him so well. I wish I could write about Yvonne and Herbert Stuart riding out to a boar hunt in Quimperle, and how the hounds chased the boar right through the town, knocking over three cops, the notary, and an old woman. But I'm talking too much, and Lys is calling me to come and hear the king say he’s feeling sleepy. And we can’t keep his highness waiting.
THE KING'S CRADLE SONG
The King's Lullaby
Seal with a seal of gold
Seal with a gold stamp
The scroll of a life unrolled;
The story of a life unfolded;
Swathe him deep in his purple stole;
Swathe him deep in his purple robe;
Ashes of diamonds, crystalled coal,
Diamond ashes, crystallized coal,
Drops of gold in each scented fold.
Drops of gold in every fragrant layer.
Crimson wings of the Little Death,
Crimson wings of the Little Death,
Stir his hair with your silken breath;
Stir his hair with your soft breath;
Flaming wings of sins to be,
Flaming wings of sins to come,
Splendid pinions of prophecy,
Amazing wings of prophecy,
Smother his eyes with hues and dyes,
Smother his eyes with colors and tints,
While the white moon spins and the winds arise,
While the bright moon spins and the winds pick up,
And the stars drip through the skies.
And the stars flow through the sky.
Wave, O wings of the Little Death!
Wave, oh wings of the Little Death!
Seal his sight and stifle his breath,
Seal his vision and suffocate his breath,
Cover his breast with the gemmed shroud pressed;
Cover his chest with the jeweled shroud pressed;
From north to north, from west to west,
From north to north, from west to west,
Wave, O wings of the Little Death!
Wave, O wings of the Little Death!
Till the white moon reels in the cracking skies,
Till the bright moon spins in the breaking skies,
And the ghosts of God arise.
And the spirits of God rise.
Lazarus
By LEONID ANDREYEVBy Leonid Andreev
TRANSLATED BY ABRAHAM YARMOLINSKY
From Lazarus and the Gentleman from San Francisco. Published by The Stratford Company. By permission of the publishers.
From Lazarus and the Gentleman from San Francisco. Published by The Stratford Company. By permission of the publishers.
I
When Lazarus left the grave, where, for three days and three nights he had been under the enigmatical sway of death, and returned alive to his dwelling, for a long time no one noticed in him those sinister oddities, which, as time went on, made his very name a terror. Gladdened unspeakably by the sight of him who had been returned to life, those near to him caressed him unceasingly, and satiated their burning desire to serve him, in solicitude for his food and drink and garments. And they dressed him gorgeously, in bright colors of hope and laughter, and when, like to a bridegroom in his bridal vestures, he sat again among them at the table, and again ate and drank, they wept, overwhelmed with tenderness. And they summoned the neighbors to look at him who had risen miraculously from the dead. These came and shared the serene joy of the hosts. Strangers from far-off towns and hamlets came and adored the miracle in tempestuous words. Like to a beehive was the house of Mary and Martha.
When Lazarus emerged from the grave, where he had been under the mysterious influence of death for three days and nights, and returned alive to his home, it took a long time for anyone to notice the unsettling changes in him that, over time, turned his name into something frightening. Those close to him were indescribably happy to see him back from the dead. They showered him with affection and eagerly took care of his needs, making sure he had enough food, drink, and clothes. They dressed him beautifully in bright colors full of hope and joy, and when he sat at the table among them, looking like a groom in his wedding attire, and ate and drank again, they wept with overwhelming tenderness. They called over the neighbors to see the man who had miraculously come back to life. People from nearby towns and villages came to witness the miracle and expressed their awe with excited words. The house of Mary and Martha was bustling like a beehive.
Whatever was found new in Lazarus' face and gestures was thought to be some trace of a grave illness and of the shocks recently experienced. Evidently, the destruction wrought by death on the corpse was only arrested by the miraculous power, but its effects were still apparent; and what death had succeeded in doing with Lazarus' face and body, was like an artist's unfinished sketch seen under thin glass. On Lazarus' temples, under his eyes, and in the hollows of his cheeks, lay a deep and cadaverous blueness; cadaverously blue also were his long fingers, and around his fingernails, grown long in the grave, the blue had become purple and dark. On his lips the skin, swollen in the grave, had burst in places, and thin, reddish cracks were formed, shining as though covered with transparent mica. And he had grown stout. His body, puffed up in the grave, retained its monstrous size and showed those frightful swellings, in which one sensed the presence of the rank liquid of decomposition. But the heavy corpse-like odor which penetrated Lazarus' graveclothes and, it seemed, his very body, soon entirely disappeared, the blue spots on his face and hands grew paler, and the reddish cracks closed up, although they never disappeared altogether. That is how Lazarus looked when he appeared before people, in his second life, but his face looked natural to those who had seen him in the coffin.
Whatever was newly noticed in Lazarus' face and gestures was seen as signs of a severe illness and the shocks he had recently endured. Clearly, the damage caused by death to his body had only been halted by a miraculous force, but its effects were still visible; what death had done to Lazarus' face and body resembled an artist's incomplete sketch viewed through thin glass. On Lazarus' temples, beneath his eyes, and in the hollows of his cheeks, there was a deep, corpse-like blueness; his long fingers were also cadaverously blue, and around his fingernails, which had grown long in the grave, the blue turned purple and dark. The skin on his lips, swollen from the grave, had split in places, forming thin, reddish cracks that shone as if coated with transparent mica. And he had gained weight. His body, puffed up in the grave, retained its grotesque size, showing those horrid swellings that hinted at the presence of the foul liquid of decay. But the heavy, corpse-like smell that had seeped into Lazarus' burial clothes and seemingly into his very body quickly vanished, the blue spots on his face and hands faded, and the reddish cracks closed up, even though they never completely disappeared. That is how Lazarus appeared before people in his second life, but his face seemed normal to those who had seen him in the coffin.
In addition to the changes in his appearance, Lazarus' temper seemed to have undergone a transformation, but this circumstance startled no one and attracted no attention. Before his death Lazarus had always been cheerful and carefree, fond of laughter and a merry joke. It was because of this brightness and cheerfulness, with not a touch of malice and darkness, that the Master had grown so fond of him. But now Lazarus had grown grave and taciturn, he never jested, himself, nor responded with laughter to other people's jokes; and the words which he uttered, very infrequently, were the plainest, most ordinary, and necessary words, as deprived of depth and significance, as those sounds with which animals express pain and pleasure, thirst and hunger. They were the words that one can say all one's life, and yet they give no indication of what pains and gladdens the depths of the soul.
Along with the changes in his appearance, Lazarus' mood seemed to have shifted, but this didn’t surprise anyone or draw attention. Before his death, Lazarus was always cheerful and carefree, enjoying laughter and a good joke. It was this brightness and joy, completely absent of malice or darkness, that made the Master grow so fond of him. But now, Lazarus had become serious and withdrawn; he no longer joked or laughed at others' jokes. The words he spoke, rarely, were the plainest and most basic, stripped of depth and meaning, like the sounds animals make to show pain and pleasure, thirst and hunger. They were words that could be said throughout one’s life, yet they revealed nothing of the joys and sorrows deep within the soul.
Thus, with the face of a corpse which for three days had been under the heavy sway of death, dark and taciturn, already appallingly transformed, but still unrecognized by anyone in his new self, he was sitting at the feasting table, among friends and relatives, and his gorgeous nuptial garments glittered with yellow gold and bloody scarlet. Broad waves of jubilation, now soft, now tempestuously sonorous surged around him; warm glances of love were reaching out for his face, still cold with the coldness of the grave; and a friend's warm palm caressed his blue, heavy hand. And music played the tympanum and the pipe, the cithara and the harp. It was as though bees hummed, grasshoppers chirped and birds warbled over the happy house of Mary and Martha.
So there he was, with a face that looked like a corpse after three days of being heavily under the grip of death—dark and silent, already shockingly changed, yet still unrecognized by anyone in his new form. He sat at the banquet table surrounded by friends and family, his beautiful wedding clothes sparkling with yellow gold and bloody red. Waves of celebration, sometimes soft and sometimes roaring, surged around him; warm looks of love reached for his face, still cold as if from the grave; and a friend's warm hand gently touched his blue, heavy hand. Music played the drums and the pipes, the lyre and the harp. It felt like bees buzzed, grasshoppers chirped, and birds sang over the joyful home of Mary and Martha.
II
One of the guests incautiously lifted the veil. By a thoughtless word he broke the serene charm and uncovered the truth in all its naked ugliness. Ere the thought formed itself in his mind, his lips uttered with a smile:
One of the guests carelessly lifted the veil. With a careless comment, he shattered the tranquil spell and revealed the truth in all its raw ugliness. Before the thought even fully formed in his mind, he smiled and said:
"Why dost thou not tell us what happened yonder?"
"Why don't you tell us what happened over there?"
And all grew silent, startled by the question. It was as if it occurred to them only now that for three days Lazarus had been dead, and they looked at him, anxiously awaiting his answer. But Lazarus kept silence.
And everyone fell quiet, taken aback by the question. It was as if they just realized that Lazarus had been dead for three days, and they stared at him, nervously waiting for his response. But Lazarus remained silent.
"Thou dost not wish to tell us,"—wondered the man, "is it so terrible yonder?"
"You don't want to tell us," the man wondered, "is it really that terrible over there?"
And again his thought came after his words. Had it been otherwise, he would not have asked this question, which at that very moment oppressed his heart with its insufferable horror. Uneasiness seized all present, and with a feeling of heavy weariness they awaited Lazarus' words, but he was silent, sternly and coldly, and his eyes were lowered. And as if for the first time, they noticed the frightful blueness of his face and his repulsive obesity. On the table, as though forgotten by Lazarus, rested his bluish-purple wrist, and to this all eyes turned, as if it were from it that the awaited answer was to come. The musicians were still playing, but now the silence reached them too, and even as water extinguishes scattered embers, so were their merry tunes extinguished in the silence. The pipe grew silent; the voices of the sonorous tympanum and the murmuring harp died away; and as if the strings had burst, the cithara answered with a tremulous, broken note. Silence.
And again his thoughts followed his words. If it had been different, he wouldn’t have asked this question, which at that moment weighed heavily on his heart with its unbearable horror. Unease gripped everyone present, and with a sense of deep fatigue, they waited for Lazarus to speak, but he remained silent, looking stern and cold, his eyes cast down. It was as if, for the first time, they noticed the terrible blueness of his face and his disgusting obesity. On the table, as if forgotten by Lazarus, lay his bluish-purple wrist, and all eyes turned to it, as if they expected the answer to come from there. The musicians continued to play, but now the silence reached them too, and just like water puts out scattered embers, their cheerful melodies faded away into the silence. The pipe fell silent; the sounds of the resonant timpani and the murmuring harp vanished; and as if the strings had snapped, the lyre responded with a shaky, broken note. Silence.
"Thou dost not wish to say?" repeated the guest, unable to check his chattering tongue. But the stillness remained unbroken, and the bluish-purple hand rested motionless. And then he stirred slightly and everyone felt relieved. He lifted up his eyes, and lo! straightway embracing everything in one heavy glance, fraught with weariness and horror, he looked at them,—Lazarus who had arisen from the dead.
"You don't want to say anything?" the guest repeated, unable to stop his rambling. But the silence stayed unbroken, and the bluish-purple hand remained still. Then he moved slightly, and everyone felt a sense of relief. He lifted his gaze, and there! In an instant, taking in everything with a single tired and horrifying glance, he looked at them—Lazarus who had come back from the dead.
It was the third day since Lazarus had left the grave. Ever since then many had experienced the pernicious power of his eye, but neither those who were crushed by it forever, nor those who found the strength to resist in it the primordial sources of life,—which is as mysterious as death,—never could they explain the horror which lay motionless in the depth of his black pupils. Lazarus looked calmly and simply with no desire to conceal anything, but also with no intention to say anything; he looked coldly, as he who is infinitely indifferent to those alive. Many carefree people came close to him without noticing him, and only later did they learn with astonishment and fear who that calm stout man was, that walked slowly by, almost touching them with his gorgeous and dazzling garments. The sun did not cease shining, when he was looking, nor did the fountain hush its murmur, and the sky overhead remained cloudless and blue. But the man under the spell of his enigmatical look heard no more the fountain and saw not the sky overhead. Sometimes, he wept bitterly, sometimes he tore his hair and in frenzy called for help; but more often it came to pass that apathetically and quietly he began to die, and so he languished many years, before everybody's very eyes, wasted away, colorless, flabby, dull, like a tree, silently drying up in a stony soil. And of those who gazed at him, the ones who wept madly, sometimes felt again the stir of life; the others never.
It had been three days since Lazarus left the grave. Since then, many people had felt the dangerous power of his gaze, but neither those who were forever crushed by it nor those who found the strength to resist its primal sources of life—which is as mysterious as death—could explain the horror that lay motionless in the depths of his dark pupils. Lazarus looked on calmly and simply, with no desire to hide anything, but also with no intention to say anything; he looked coldly, as one who is infinitely indifferent to the living. Many carefree people approached him without noticing him, only to later discover with astonishment and fear who that calm, stout man was, walking slowly by, almost brushing against them in his stunning and dazzling clothes. The sun continued to shine while he looked on, the fountain didn’t stop its murmur, and the sky above remained clear and blue. But those under the spell of his enigmatic gaze could no longer hear the fountain or see the sky above. Sometimes they wept bitterly, sometimes they tore their hair out in frenzy, calling for help; but more often, they simply began to die apathetically and quietly, lingering for many years before everyone’s eyes, fading away, colorless, flabby, dull, like a tree silently drying up in rocky soil. Of those who gazed at him, those who wept madly sometimes felt a flicker of life again; the others never did.
"So thou dost not wish to tell us what thou hast seen yonder?" repeated the man. But now his voice was impassive and dull, and deadly gray weariness showed in Lazarus' eyes. And deadly gray weariness covered like dust all the faces, and with dull amazement the guests stared at each other and did not understand wherefore they had gathered here and sat at the rich table. The talk ceased. They thought it was time to go home, but could not overcome the flaccid lazy weariness which glued their muscles, and they kept on sitting there, yet apart and torn away from each other, like pale fires scattered over a dark field.
"So you don’t want to tell us what you saw over there?" the man repeated. But now his voice was emotionless and flat, and a heavy gray tiredness showed in Lazarus’ eyes. This same gray tiredness hung over everyone's faces like dust, and the guests stared at each other in dull shock, not understanding why they had gathered here to sit at the lavish table. The conversation stopped. They thought it was time to go home, but couldn’t shake off the overwhelming, lazy fatigue that weighed down their bodies, leaving them sitting there, yet separate and disconnected, like faint lights scattered across a dark field.
But the musicians were paid to play and again they took their instruments and again tunes full of studied mirth and studied sorrow began to flow and to rise. They unfolded the customary melody but the guests hearkened in dull amazement. Already they knew not wherefore is it necessary, and why is it well, that people should pluck strings, inflate their cheeks, blow in thin pipes, and produce a bizarre, many-voiced noise.
But the musicians were hired to play, and once more they picked up their instruments, filling the air with tunes that were both carefully joyful and carefully melancholic. They started the familiar melody, but the guests listened in dull disbelief. They already wondered why it was necessary, and why it was good, for people to strum strings, puff up their cheeks, blow into thin pipes, and create a strange, multi-layered sound.
"What bad music," said someone.
"What terrible music," said someone.
The musicians took offense and left. Following them, the guests left one after another, for night was already come. And when placid darkness encircled them and they began to breathe with more ease, suddenly Lazarus' image loomed up before each one in formidable radiance: the blue face of a corpse, grave-clothes gorgeous and resplendent, a cold look, in the depths of which lay motionless an unknown horror. As though petrified, they were standing far apart, and darkness enveloped them, but in the darkness blazed brighter and brighter the supernatural vision of him who for three days had been under the enigmatical sway of death. For three days had he been dead: thrice had the sun risen and set, but he had been dead; children had played, streams murmured over pebbles, the wayfarer had lifted up hot dust in the highroad,—but he had been dead. And now he is again among them,—touches them,—looks at them,—looks at them! and through the black discs of his pupils, as through darkened glass, stares the unknowable Yonder.
The musicians were offended and left. After that, the guests followed suit, leaving one by one, as night had already fallen. When the calm darkness surrounded them and they began to breathe more easily, suddenly, Lazarus’ image appeared before each of them in striking brilliance: the blue face of a corpse, ornate burial clothes shimmering and radiant, a cold gaze, where an unknown horror lay motionless in the depths. Petrified, they stood far apart, enveloped in darkness, but in that darkness, the supernatural vision of him who had been under the mysterious grip of death for three days shone brighter and brighter. He had been dead for three days: the sun had risen and set three times, yet he had remained dead; children had played, streams had flowed over pebbles, travelers had kicked up hot dust on the road—but he had been dead. And now he was here with them again—touching them—looking at them—looking at them! And through the dark pupils of his eyes, like through shaded glass, gazed the unknowable Beyond.
III
No one was taking care of Lazarus, for no friends no relatives were left to him, and the great desert which encircled the holy city, came near the very threshold of his dwelling. And the desert entered his house, and stretched on his couch, like a wife and extinguished the fires. No one was taking care of Lazarus. One after the other, his sisters—Mary and Martha—forsook him. For a long while Martha was loath to abandon him, for she knew not who would feed him and pity him, she wept and prayed. But one night, when the wind was roaming in the desert and with a hissing sound the cypresses were bending over the roof, she dressed noiselessly and secretly left the house. Lazarus probably heard the door slam; it banged against the side-post under the gusts of the desert wind, but he did not rise to go out and to look at her that was abandoning him. All the night long the cypresses hissed over his head and plaintively thumped the door, letting in the cold, greedy desert.
No one was taking care of Lazarus because he had no friends or family left, and the vast desert surrounding the holy city was almost at his doorstep. The desert seeped into his home, stretched out on his couch like a wife, and snuffed out the flames. No one was looking after Lazarus. One by one, his sisters—Mary and Martha—abandoned him. For a long time, Martha hesitated to leave him because she didn't know who would feed or care for him; she cried and prayed. But one night, as the wind swept through the desert and the cypress trees rustled ominously against the roof, she got dressed quietly and sneaked out of the house. Lazarus probably heard the door slam; it banged against the frame in the gusty desert wind, but he didn’t get up to see her leave him. All night long, the cypress trees hissed above him and knocked softly on the door, letting in the cold, hungry desert.
Like a leper he was shunned by everyone, and it was proposed to tie a bell to his neck, as is done with lepers, to warn people against sudden meetings. But someone remarked, growing frightfully pale, that it would be too horrible if by night the moaning of Lazarus' bell were suddenly heard under the windows,—and so the project was abandoned.
Like a leper, he was rejected by everyone, and it was suggested to tie a bell around his neck, similar to what is done with lepers, to alert people about unexpected encounters. But someone, turning incredibly pale, pointed out that it would be too terrifying if, at night, the sound of Lazarus' bell was suddenly heard outside the windows—and so the idea was dropped.
And since he did not take care of himself, he would probably have starved to death, had not the neighbors brought him food in fear of something that they sensed but vaguely. The food was brought to him by children; they were not afraid of Lazarus, nor did they mock him with naive cruelty, as children are wont to do with the wretched and miserable. They were indifferent to him, and Lazarus answered them with the same coldness; he had no desire to caress the black little curls, and to look into their innocent shining eyes. Given to Time and to the Desert, his house was crumbling down, and long since had his famishing, lowing goats wandered away to the neighboring pastures. And his bridal garments became threadbare. Ever since that happy day, when the musicians played, he had worn them unaware of the difference of the new and the worn. The bright colors grew dull and faded; vicious dogs and the sharp thorn of the Desert turned the tender fabric into rags.
And because he didn’t take care of himself, he would probably have starved to death if the neighbors hadn’t brought him food, driven by a vague instinct about something wrong. The food was delivered by children; they weren’t scared of Lazarus, nor did they mock him with naive cruelty, as children often do with the unfortunate. They were indifferent to him, and Lazarus responded with the same detachment; he had no interest in touching their little black curls or looking into their innocent bright eyes. Time and the Desert had taken their toll, and his house was falling apart, while his starving goats had long since wandered off to the neighboring pastures. His wedding clothes were worn thin. Ever since that joyful day when the musicians played, he had worn them without realizing the difference between the new and the old. The bright colors had faded; wild dogs and the harsh thorns of the Desert had turned the delicate fabric into rags.
By day, when the merciless sun slew all things alive, and even scorpions sought shelter under stones and writhed there in a mad desire to sting, he sat motionless under the sunrays, his blue face and the uncouth, bushy beard lifted up, bathing in the fiery flood.
By day, when the relentless sun killed everything alive, and even scorpions hid under rocks, wriggling there with a frantic urge to sting, he sat still in the sunlight, his blue face and wild, bushy beard raised, soaking in the scorching heat.
When people still talked to him, he was once asked:
When people still talked to him, someone once asked:
"Poor Lazarus, does it please thee to sit thus and to stare at the sun?"
"Poor Lazarus, do you enjoy sitting like this and staring at the sun?"
And he had answered:
And he replied:
"Yes, it does."
"Sure does."
So strong, it seemed, was the cold of his three days' grave, so deep the darkness, that there was no heat on earth to warm Lazarus, nor a splendor that could brighten the darkness of his eyes. That is what came to the mind of those who spoke to Lazarus, and with a sigh they left him.
So intense was the cold of his three days in the grave, so profound the darkness, that no warmth on earth could revive Lazarus, nor any light brighten the darkness of his eyes. This thought crossed the minds of those who spoke to Lazarus, and with a sigh, they departed.
And when the scarlet, flattened globe would lower, Lazarus would set out for the desert and walk straight toward the sun, as though striving to reach it. He always walked straight toward the sun and those who tried to follow him and to spy upon what he was doing at night in the desert, retained in their memory the black silhouette of a tall stout man against the red background of an enormous flattened disc. Night pursued them with her horrors, and so they did not learn of Lazarus' doings in the desert, but the vision of the black on red was forever branded on their brain. Just as a beast with a splinter in its eye furiously rubs its muzzle with its paws, so they too foolishly rubbed their eyes, but what Lazarus had given was indelible, and Death alone could efface it.
And when the red, flat sun began to set, Lazarus would head out to the desert and walk straight toward it, as if he was trying to reach it. He always walked directly toward the sun, and anyone who tried to follow him and see what he was doing at night in the desert remembered the dark outline of a tall, sturdy man against the vast red backdrop. Night chased them with its terrors, and so they never discovered what Lazarus was doing in the desert, but the image of the black figure against the red was permanently etched in their minds. Just like a beast with a splinter in its eye desperately rubs its face with its paws, they too foolishly rubbed their eyes, but what Lazarus had given was unforgettable, and only Death could erase it.
But there were people who lived far away, who never saw Lazarus and knew of him only by report. With daring curiosity, which is stronger than fear and feeds upon it, with hidden mockery, they would come to Lazarus who was sitting in the sun and enter into conversation with him. By this time Lazarus' appearance had changed for the better and was not so terrible. The first minute they snapped their fingers and thought of how stupid the inhabitants of the holy city were; but when the short talk was over and they started homeward, their looks were such that the inhabitants of the holy city recognized them at once and said:
But there were people who lived far away, who had never seen Lazarus and only knew of him through stories. With a bold curiosity that is stronger than fear and thrives on it, and with a touch of hidden mockery, they would approach Lazarus, who was sitting in the sun, and strike up a conversation with him. By then, Lazarus' appearance had improved and wasn't as frightening anymore. For the first minute, they snapped their fingers and thought about how foolish the people of the holy city were; but when the brief conversation ended and they started heading home, their expressions were such that the people of the holy city recognized them immediately and said:
"Look, there is one more fool on whom Lazarus has set his eye,"—and they shook their heads regretfully, and lifted up their arms.
"Look, there's another fool that Lazarus has taken an interest in,"—and they shook their heads sadly and raised their arms.
There came brave, intrepid warriors, with tinkling weapons; happy youths came with laughter and song; busy tradesmen, jingling their money, ran in for a moment, and haughty priests leaned their crosiers against Lazarus' door, and they were all strangely changed, as they came back. The same terrible shadow swooped down upon their souls and gave a new appearance to the old familiar world.
Brave, fearless warriors showed up, their weapons making jingling sounds; lively young people arrived with laughter and song; hard-working tradesmen, jingling their coins, popped in for a moment, and proud priests leaned their staffs against Lazarus' door. They were all strangely different when they came back. The same dark presence descended upon their souls, giving the old familiar world a new look.
Those who still had the desire to speak, expressed their feelings thus:
Those who still wanted to speak shared their feelings like this:
"All things tangible and visible grew hollow, light, and transparent,—similar to lightsome shadows in the darkness of night;
"Everything that was solid and visible felt empty, light, and transparent—like cheerful shadows in the darkness of night;
"for, that great darkness, which holds the whole cosmos, was dispersed neither by the sun or by the moon and the stars, but like an immense black shroud enveloped the earth and, like a mother, embraced it;
"for that great darkness, which envelops the entire universe, was not dispersed by the sun, the moon, or the stars, but like a massive black shroud, it covered the earth and, like a mother, embraced it;
"it penetrated all the bodies, iron and stone,—and the particles of the bodies, having lost their ties, grew lonely; and it penetrated into the depth of the particles, and the particles of particles became lonely;
"it went through all the bodies, iron and stone,—and the particles of the bodies, having lost their connections, became lonely; and it reached into the depth of the particles, and the particles of particles became lonely;
"for that great void, which encircles the cosmos, was not filled by things visible: neither by the sun, nor by the moon and the stars, but reigned unrestrained, penetrating everywhere, severing body from body, particle from particle;
"for that vast emptiness that surrounds the universe wasn't filled with visible things: not by the sun, nor by the moon and the stars, but ruled freely, reaching everywhere, dividing body from body, particle from particle;
"in the void hollow trees spread hollow roots threatening a fantastic fall; temples, palaces, and horses loomed up and they were hollow; and in the void men moved about restlessly but they were light and hollow like shadows;
"in the emptiness, hollow trees stretched with empty roots, hinting at a fantastic collapse; temples, palaces, and horses rose up, but they were empty; and in the void, men moved around anxiously, yet they were light and hollow like shadows;
"for, Time was no more, and the beginning of all things came near their end: the building was still being built, and builders were still hammering away, and its ruins were already seen and the void in its place; the man was still being born, but already funeral candles were burning at his head, and now they were extinguished, and there was the void in place of the man and of the funeral candles.
"for, Time was no more, and the beginning of all things came near their end: the building was still being built, and builders were still hammering away, and its ruins were already seen and the void in its place; the man was still being born, but already funeral candles were burning at his head, and now they were extinguished, and there was the void in place of the man and of the funeral candles."
"and wrapped by void and darkness the man in despair trembled in the face of the Horror of the Infinite."
"and surrounded by emptiness and darkness, the man in despair trembled in the presence of the Horror of the Infinite."
Thus spake the men who had still a desire to speak. But, surely, much more could have told those who wished not to speak, and died in silence.
Thus spoke the men who still wanted to share their thoughts. But, surely, much more could have been said by those who didn’t want to speak and passed away quietly.
IV
At that time there lived in Rome a renowned sculptor. In clay, marble, and bronze he wrought bodies of gods and men, and such was their beauty, that people called them immortal. But he himself was discontented and asserted that there was something even more beautiful, that he could not embody either in marble or in bronze. "I have not yet gathered the glimmers of the moon, nor have I my fill of sunshine," he was wont to say, "and there is no soul in my marble, no life in my beautiful bronze." And when on moonlit nights he slowly walked along the road, crossing the black shadows of cypresses, his white tunic glittering in the moonshine, those who met him would laugh in a friendly way and say:
At that time, there was a famous sculptor living in Rome. He shaped bodies of gods and men out of clay, marble, and bronze, and their beauty was so stunning that people called them immortal. But he himself was unhappy and insisted that there was something even more beautiful that he could not capture in marble or bronze. "I haven't yet caught the glimmers of the moon, nor am I satisfied with sunshine," he often said, "and there's no soul in my marble, no life in my beautiful bronze." And when he walked slowly along the road on moonlit nights, crossing the dark shadows of cypresses, his white robe shimmering in the moonlight, those who encountered him would laugh in a friendly way and say:
"Art thou going to gather moonshine, Aurelius? Why then didst thou not fetch baskets?"
"Are you going to collect moonlight, Aurelius? Then why didn't you bring baskets?"
And he would answer, laughing and pointing to his eyes:
And he would answer, laughing and pointing to his eyes:
"Here are the baskets wherein I gather the sheen of the moon and the glimmer of the sun."
"Here are the baskets where I collect the glow of the moon and the sparkle of the sun."
And so it was: the moon glimmered in his eyes and the sun sparkled therein. But he could not translate them into marble and therein lay the serene tragedy of his life.
And so it was: the moon shone in his eyes and the sun sparkled within them. But he couldn’t turn them into marble, and that was the quiet tragedy of his life.
He was descended from an ancient patrician race, had a good wife and children, and suffered from no want.
He came from an old noble family, had a loving wife and kids, and didn’t lack for anything.
When the obscure rumor about Lazarus reached him, he consulted his wife and friends and undertook the far journey to Judea to see him who had miraculously risen from the dead. He was somewhat weary in those days and he hoped that the road would sharpen his blunted senses. What was said of Lazarus did not frighten him: he had pondered much over Death, did not like it, but he disliked also those who confused it with life.
When the vague rumor about Lazarus reached him, he talked it over with his wife and friends and decided to take the long trip to Judea to see the man who had miraculously come back to life. He was feeling a bit tired during that time and hoped that the journey would refresh his dull senses. What people said about Lazarus didn't scare him; he had thought a lot about death, didn’t like it, but he also couldn’t stand those who mixed it up with life.
"In this life,—life and beauty;
"In this life—life and beauty;"
beyond,—Death, the enigmatical"—
beyond, "Death, the mysterious"—
thought he, and there is no better thing for a man to do than to delight in life and in the beauty of all things living. He had even a vainglorious desire to convince Lazarus of the truth of his own view and restore his soul to life, as his body had been restored. This seemed so much easier because the rumors, shy and strange, did not render the whole truth about Lazarus and but vaguely warned against something frightful.
thought he, and there’s nothing better for a person to do than to enjoy life and appreciate the beauty of all living things. He even had a proud desire to prove to Lazarus that his perspective was correct and bring his spirit back to life, just as his body had been revived. This felt much more manageable because the rumors, hesitant and odd, didn’t convey the full truth about Lazarus and only vaguely cautioned against something terrifying.
Lazarus had just risen from the stone in order to follow the sun which was setting in the desert, when a rich Roman attended by an armed slave, approached him and addressed him in a sonorous tone of voice:
Lazarus had just gotten up from the stone to follow the sun as it set in the desert when a wealthy Roman, accompanied by an armed slave, approached him and spoke in a deep, resonant voice:
"Lazarus!"
"Lazarus!"
And Lazarus beheld a superb face, lit with glory, and arrayed in fine clothes, and precious stones sparkling in the sun. The red light lent to the Roman's face and head the appearance of gleaming bronze—that also Lazarus noticed. He resumed obediently his place and lowered his weary eyes.
And Lazarus saw an amazing face, shining with glory, dressed in elegant clothes, with precious stones sparkling in the sunlight. The red light gave the Roman's face and head a look of shining bronze—that's something Lazarus noticed too. He obediently took his place again and lowered his tired eyes.
"Yes, thou art ugly, my poor Lazarus,"—quietly said the Roman, playing with his golden chain; "thou art even horrible, my poor friend; and Death was not lazy that day when thou didst fall so heedlessly into his hands. But thou art stout, and, as the great Cæsar used to say, fat people are not ill-tempered; to tell the truth, I don't understand why men fear thee. Permit me to spend the night in thy house; the hour is late, and I have no shelter."
"Yes, you’re ugly, my poor Lazarus," the Roman said quietly, playing with his golden chain. "You’re even horrible, my poor friend; and Death wasn’t lazy that day you carelessly fell into his grasp. But you’re strong, and as the great Caesar used to say, fat people aren’t bad-tempered; honestly, I don’t get why people fear you. Please let me spend the night in your house; it’s late, and I have no place to stay."
Never had anyone asked Lazarus' hospitality.
Never had anyone asked for Lazarus's hospitality.
"I have no bed," said he.
"I don't have a bed," he said.
"I am somewhat of a soldier and I can sleep sitting," the Roman answered. "We shall build a fire."
"I’m kind of a soldier, and I can sleep sitting up," the Roman replied. "Let’s start a fire."
"I have no fire."
"I don't have any fire."
"Then we shall have our talk in the darkness, like two friends. I think thou wilt find a bottle of wine."
"Then we'll have our chat in the dark, like two friends. I think you'll find a bottle of wine."
"I have no wine."
"I don't have any wine."
The Roman laughed.
The Roman chuckled.
"Now I see why thou art so somber and dislikest thy second life. No wine! Why, then we shall do without it: there are words that make the head go round better than the Falernian."
"Now I get why you're so serious and don't like your second life. No wine! Well, we'll manage without it: there are words that can make your head spin better than the Falernian."
By a sign he dismissed the slave, and they remained all alone. And again the sculptor started speaking, but it was as if, together with the setting sun, life had left his words; and they grew pale and hollow, as if they staggered on unsteady feet, as if they slipped and fell down, drunk with the heavy lees of weariness and despair. And black chasms grew up between the words—like far-off hints of the great void and the great darkness.
By a gesture, he sent the servant away, leaving them both alone. Again, the sculptor began to speak, but it felt as if, along with the setting sun, life had drained from his words; they became weak and empty, stumbling forward like they were on unsteady legs, as if they were about to collapse, overwhelmed by deep exhaustion and hopelessness. Gaping voids appeared between his words—like distant echoes of immense emptiness and deep darkness.
"Now I am thy guest, and thou wilt not be unkind to me, Lazarus!"—said he. "Hospitality is the duty even of those who for three days were dead. Three days, I was told, thou didst rest in the grave. There it must be cold ... and that is whence comes thy ill habit of going without fire and wine. As to me, I like fire; it grows dark here so rapidly.... The lines of thy eyebrows and forehead are quite, quite interesting: they are like ruins of strange palaces, buried in ashes after an earthquake. But why dost thou wear such ugly and queer garments? I have seen bridegrooms in thy country, and they wear such clothes—are they not funny—and terrible.... But art thou a bridegroom?"
"Now I'm your guest, and you won’t be unkind to me, Lazarus!" he said. "Hospitality is something everyone should offer, even those who have been dead for three days. I heard that you rested in the grave for three days. It must have been cold there... and that's probably why you have this strange habit of going without fire and wine. As for me, I enjoy fire; it gets dark here so quickly.... The lines of your eyebrows and forehead are really fascinating: they look like the ruins of strange palaces, buried in ashes after an earthquake. But why are you wearing such ugly and strange clothes? I've seen grooms in your country, and they wear outfits like those—aren't they funny and terrible.... But are you a groom?"
The sun had already disappeared, a monstrous black shadow came running from the east—it was as if gigantic bare feet began rumbling on the sand, and the wind sent a cold wave along the backbone.
The sun had already set, and a huge black shadow came racing in from the east—it felt like massive bare feet were thundering on the sand, and the wind brought a chill that ran down my spine.
"In the darkness thou seemest still larger, Lazarus, as if thou hast grown stouter in these moments. Dost thou feed on darkness, Lazarus? I would fain have a little fire—at least a little fire, a little fire. I feel somewhat chilly, your nights are so barbarously cold.... Were it not so dark, I should say that thou wert looking at me, Lazarus. Yes, it seems to me, thou art looking.... Why, thou art looking at me, I feel it,—but there thou art smiling."
"In the darkness, you seem even bigger, Lazarus, as if you've gotten thicker in these moments. Do you feed on darkness, Lazarus? I wish I had a little fire—just a little fire, please. I feel a bit cold; your nights are so brutally chilly... If it weren't so dark, I would say you’re looking at me, Lazarus. Yes, it feels like you are looking... Why, you are looking at me, I can feel it—but there you are smiling."
Night came, and filled the air with heavy blackness.
Night fell, casting a thick darkness everywhere.
"How well it will be, when the sun will rise to-morrow anew.... I am a great sculptor, thou knowest; that is how my friends call me. I create. Yes, that is the word ... but I need daylight. I give life to the cold marble, I melt sonorous bronze in fire, in bright hot fire.... Why didst thou touch me with thy hand?"
"How great it will be when the sun rises again tomorrow.... I’m a talented sculptor, as my friends say. I create. Yes, that’s the right word... but I need daylight. I give life to cold marble, I melt resonant bronze in fire, in bright, hot fire.... Why did you touch me with your hand?"
"Come"—said Lazarus—"Thou art my guest."
"Come," said Lazarus. "You are my guest."
And they went to the house. And a long night enveloped the earth.
And they went to the house. A long night covered the earth.
The slave, seeing that his master did not come, went to seek him, when the sun was already high in the sky. And he beheld his master side by side with Lazarus: in profound silence were they sitting right under the dazzling and scorching sunrays and looking upward. The slave began to weep and cried out:
The slave, noticing that his master hadn’t arrived, went to look for him when the sun was already high in the sky. He saw his master sitting quietly next to Lazarus, both of them under the harsh and blazing sunlight, gazing upward. The slave began to cry and shouted:
"My master, what has befallen thee, master?"
"My master, what has happened to you, master?"
The very same day the sculptor left for Rome. On the way Aurelius was pensive and taciturn, staring attentively at everything—the men, the ship, the sea, as though trying to retain something. On the high sea a storm burst upon them, and all through it Aurelius stayed on the deck and eagerly scanned the seas looming near and sinking with a thud.
The very same day, the sculptor left for Rome. On the way, Aurelius was deep in thought and quiet, watching everything—the people, the ship, the sea—as if trying to hold onto something. In the open sea, a storm hit them, and throughout it all, Aurelius stayed on deck, eagerly looking at the waves rising and crashing down.
At home his friends were frightened at the change which had taken place in Aurelius, but he calmed them, saying meaningly:
At home, his friends were scared by the change that had happened in Aurelius, but he reassured them, saying meaningfully:
"I have found it."
"I've found it."
And without changing the dusty clothes he wore on his journey, he fell to work, and the marble obediently resounded under his sonorous hammer. Long and eagerly worked he, admitting no one, until one morning he announced that the work was ready and ordered his friends to be summoned, severe critics and connoisseurs of art. And to meet them he put on bright and gorgeous garments, that glittered with yellow gold—and—scarlet byssus.
And without changing the dusty clothes he wore on his journey, he got to work, and the marble responded to his powerful hammer. He worked long and hard, not letting anyone in, until one morning he announced that the work was finished and called for his friends, the tough critics and art experts. To meet them, he put on bright and beautiful clothes that sparkled with yellow gold and red silk.
"Here is my work," said he thoughtfully.
"Here’s my work," he said thoughtfully.
His friends glanced and a shadow of profound sorrow covered their faces. It was something monstrous, deprived of all the lines and shapes familiar to the eye, but not without a hint at some new, strange image.
His friends exchanged looks, and a deep sadness washed over their faces. It was something monstrous, stripped of all the familiar lines and shapes, yet hinting at some new, strange image.
On a thin, crooked twig, or rather on an ugly likeness of a twig rested askew a blind, ugly, shapeless, outspread mass of something utterly and inconceivably distorted, a mad leap of wild and bizarre fragments, all feebly and vainly striving to part from one another. And, as if by chance, beneath one of the wildly-rent salients a butterfly was chiseled with divine skill, all airy loveliness, delicacy, and beauty, with transparent wings, which seemed to tremble with an impotent desire to take flight.
On a thin, crooked twig, or rather on a twisted version of a twig, lay a blind, ugly, shapeless mass of something completely and ridiculously distorted, an insane jumble of wild and bizarre pieces, all weakly and futilely trying to separate from each other. And, almost by coincidence, beneath one of the ragged protrusions, there was a butterfly crafted with divine skill, full of airy beauty, delicacy, and grace, with transparent wings that seemed to vibrate with a helpless longing to take off.
"Wherefore this wonderful butterfly, Aurelius?" said somebody falteringly.
"Why this amazing butterfly, Aurelius?" someone said hesitantly.
"I know not"—was the sculptor's answer.
"I don’t know," was the sculptor's answer.
But it was necessary to tell the truth, and one of his friends who loved him best said firmly:
But it was important to be honest, and one of his closest friends said firmly:
"This is ugly, my poor friend. It must be destroyed. Give me the hammer."
"This is awful, my poor friend. It needs to be smashed. Hand me the hammer."
And with two strokes he broke the monstrous man into pieces, leaving only the infinitely delicate butterfly untouched.
And with two strikes, he shattered the monstrous man into pieces, leaving only the incredibly delicate butterfly unharmed.
From that time on Aurelius created nothing. With profound indifference he looked at marble and bronze, and on his former divine works, where everlasting beauty rested. With the purpose of arousing his former fervent passion for work and, awakening his deadened soul, his friends took him to see other artists' beautiful works,—but he remained indifferent as before, and the smile did not warm up his tightened lips. And only after listening to lengthy talks about beauty, he would retort wearily and indolently:
From that point on, Aurelius stopped creating anything. He looked at marble and bronze with deep indifference, as well as at his past masterpieces, where timeless beauty lingered. To spark his previous passion for work and revive his numb soul, his friends took him to see beautiful creations by other artists—but he stayed as indifferent as ever, and the smile didn’t soften his tight lips. And after enduring long conversations about beauty, he would tiredly and lazily respond:
"But all this is a lie."
"But all of this is a lie."
And by the day, when the sun was shining, he went into his magnificent, skilfully built garden and having found a place without shadow, he exposed his bare head to the glare and heat. Red and white butterflies fluttered around; from the crooked lips of a drunken satyr, water streamed down with a splash into a marble cistern, but he sat motionless and silent,—like a pallid reflection of him who, in the far-off distance, at the very gates of the stony desert, sat under the fiery sun.
And during the day when the sun was shining, he entered his impressive, skillfully designed garden and found a spot without shade, exposing his bare head to the bright light and heat. Red and white butterflies flitted around; water splashed down from the crooked lips of a drunken satyr into a marble basin, but he remained still and silent—like a pale reflection of the one who, far away at the very edge of the stony desert, sat under the blazing sun.
V
And now it came to pass that the great, deified Augustus himself summoned Lazarus. The imperial messengers dressed him gorgeously, in solemn nuptial clothes, as if Time had legalized them, and he was to remain until his very death the bridegroom of an unknown bride. It was as though an old, rotting coffin had been gilt and furnished with new, gay tassels. And men, all in trim and bright attire, rode after him, as if in bridal procession indeed, and those foremost trumpeted loudly, bidding people to clear the way for the emperor's messengers. But Lazarus' way was deserted: his native land cursed the hateful name of him who had miraculously risen from the dead, and people scattered at the very news of his appalling approach. The solitary voice of the brass trumpets sounded in the motionless air, and the wilderness alone responded with its languid echo.
And now it happened that the great, revered Augustus himself called for Lazarus. The imperial messengers dressed him in lavish wedding attire, as if Time had sanctioned it, and he was to remain the groom of an unknown bride until his death. It was like an old, decaying coffin had been gilded and adorned with new, cheerful tassels. And men, all dressed neatly and brightly, rode behind him, as if in a wedding procession, with those at the front loudly announcing for people to clear the way for the emperor's messengers. But Lazarus' path was empty: his homeland cursed the hated name of the one who had miraculously returned from the dead, and people fled at the mere word of his dreadful approach. The lone sound of the brass trumpets echoed in the still air, and only the wilderness replied with its faint echo.
Then Lazarus went by sea. And his was the most magnificently arrayed and the most mournful ship that ever mirrored itself in the azure waves of the Mediterranean Sea. Many were the travelers aboard, but like a tomb was the ship, all silence and stillness, and the despairing water sobbed at the steep, proudly curved prow. All alone sat Lazarus exposing his head to the blaze of the sun, silently listening to the murmur and splash of the wavelets, and afar seamen and messengers were sitting, a vague group of weary shadows. Had the thunder burst and the wind attacked the red sails, the ships would probably have perished, for none of those aboard had either the will or the strength to struggle for life. With a supreme effort some mariners would reach the board and eagerly scan the blue, transparent deep, hoping to see a naiad's pink shoulder flash in the hollow of an azure wave, or a drunken gay centaur dash along and in frenzy splash the wave with his hoof. But the sea was like a wilderness, and the deep was dumb and deserted.
Then Lazarus traveled by sea. His ship was the most beautifully decorated and sorrowful vessel that ever floated on the clear waves of the Mediterranean Sea. Many travelers were on board, but the ship felt like a tomb, filled with silence and stillness, while the melancholy water crashed against the proud, curvy bow. All alone, Lazarus sat with his head exposed to the blazing sun, silently listening to the whisper and splash of the small waves, while in the distance, sailors and messengers formed a vague group of tired shadows. If a thunderstorm had struck and the wind had attacked the red sails, the ship would likely have sunk, as none of those on board had the will or strength to fight for their lives. With all their might, some sailors would reach the edge of the ship and eagerly look into the clear, deep blue, hoping to catch a glimpse of a water nymph's pink shoulder flashing in the hollow of an azure wave, or a wild, drunken centaur racing along and splashing the water with his hooves. But the sea was like a wasteland, and the deep was silent and empty.
With utter indifference did Lazarus set his feet on the street of the eternal city. As though all her wealth, all the magnificence of her palaces built by giants, all the resplendence, beauty, and music of her refined life were but the echo of the wind in the wilderness, the reflection of the desert quicksand. Chariots were dashing, and along the streets were moving crowds of strong, fair, proud builders of the eternal city and haughty participants in her life; a song sounded; fountains and women laughed a pearly laughter; drunken philosophers harangued, and the sober listened to them with a smile; hoofs struck the stone pavements. And surrounded by cheerful noise, a stout, heavy man was moving, a cold spot of silence and despair, and on his way he sowed disgust, anger, and vague, gnawing weariness. Who dares to be sad in Rome, wondered indignantly the citizens, and frowned. In two days the entire city already knew all about him who had miraculously risen from the dead, and shunned him shyly.
Lazarus stepped onto the streets of the eternal city with complete indifference. It was as if all her wealth, the splendor of her giant-built palaces, and the beauty, grace, and music of her elegant life were nothing more than the wind echoing in the wilderness or the reflection of barren quicksand. Chariots raced by, and the streets bustled with strong, attractive, proud builders of the eternal city and their arrogant participants; a song filled the air, fountains splashed, and women laughed joyfully. Drunken philosophers gave speeches, and the sober listened with smiles; hooves clattered on the stone pavements. Amidst the cheerful noise, a stout, heavy man moved through, radiating an aura of cold silence and despair, spreading disgust, anger, and a vague, gnawing weariness in his wake. Who dares to be sad in Rome, the citizens wondered indignantly, frowning. In just two days, the entire city knew about the man who had miraculously risen from the dead and avoided him with shyness.
But some daring people there were, who wanted to test their strength, and Lazarus obeyed their imprudent summons. Kept busy by state affairs, the emperor constantly delayed the reception, and seven days did he who had risen from the dead go about visiting others.
But there were some bold people who wanted to test their strength, and Lazarus responded to their reckless invitation. The emperor, preoccupied with state matters, kept postponing the meeting, and for seven days, the man who had risen from the dead went around visiting others.
And Lazarus came to a cheerful Epicurean, and the host met him with laughter on his lips:
And Lazarus approached a joyful Epicurean, and the host greeted him with a smile.
"Drink, Lazarus, drink!"—shouted he. "Would not Augustus laugh to see thee drunk!"
"Drink, Lazarus, drink!" he shouted. "Wouldn't Augustus laugh to see you drunk!"
And half-naked drunken women laughed, and rose petals fell on Lazarus' blue hands. But then the Epicurean looked into Lazarus' eyes, and his gaiety ended forever. Drunkard remained he for the rest of his life; never did he drink, yet forever was he drunk. But instead of the gay reverie which wine brings with it, frightful dreams began to haunt him, the sole food of his stricken spirit. Day and night he lived in the poisonous vapors of his nightmares, and death itself was not more frightful than her raving, monstrous forerunners.
And half-naked drunk women laughed, and rose petals fell on Lazarus' blue hands. But then the Epicurean looked into Lazarus' eyes, and his happiness ended forever. He remained a drunk for the rest of his life; he never actually drank again, yet he was always inebriated. But instead of the cheerful daydreams that come with wine, terrifying nightmares started to haunt him, the only nourishment for his troubled spirit. Day and night he lived in the toxic fogs of his nightmares, and death itself was not more frightening than her crazy, monstrous precursors.
And Lazarus came to a youth and his beloved, who loved each other and were most beautiful in their passions. Proudly and strongly embracing his love, the youth said with serene regret:
And Lazarus approached a young couple, deeply in love and incredibly beautiful in their emotions. Proudly and passionately holding his love, the young man spoke with calm regret:
"Look at us, Lazarus, and share our joy. Is there anything stronger than love?"
"Look at us, Lazarus, and share our happiness. Is there anything stronger than love?"
And Lazarus looked. And for the rest of their life they kept on loving each other, but their passion grew gloomy and joyless, like those funeral cypresses whose roots feed on the decay of the graves and whose black summits in a still evening hour seek in vain to reach the sky. Thrown by the unknown forces of life into each other's embraces, they mingled tears with kisses, voluptuous pleasures with pain, and they felt themselves doubly slaves, obedient slaves to life, and patient servants of the silent Nothingness. Ever united, ever severed, they blazed like sparks and like sparks lost themselves in the boundless Dark.
And Lazarus looked. And for the rest of their lives, they continued to love each other, but their passion became dark and joyless, like those funeral cypress trees whose roots feed on the decay of graves and whose black tops, in the stillness of the evening, strive in vain to touch the sky. Thrown together by the unknown forces of life, they mixed tears with kisses, indulgent pleasures with pain, and they felt like doubly bound slaves, obedient to life and enduring servants to the silent Nothingness. Always united, always apart, they blazed like sparks and, like sparks, lost themselves in the endless Dark.
And Lazarus came to a haughty sage, and the sage said to him:
And Lazarus approached an arrogant scholar, and the scholar said to him:
"I know all the horrors thou canst reveal to me. Is there anything thou canst frighten me with?"
"I know all the horrors you can show me. Is there anything you can scare me with?"
But before long the sage felt that the knowledge of horror was far from being the horror itself, and that the vision of Death, was not Death. And he felt that wisdom and folly are equal before the face of Infinity, for Infinity knows them not. And it vanished, the dividing-line between knowledge and ignorance, truth and falsehood, top and bottom, and the shapeless thought hung suspended in the void. Then the sage clutched his gray head and cried out frantically:
But before long, the wise one realized that knowing about horror was far from actually experiencing it, and that the idea of Death was not the same as Death itself. He understood that wisdom and foolishness are equal in the eyes of Infinity, for Infinity doesn't recognize them. Then, the lines separating knowledge and ignorance, truth and falsehood, top and bottom, disappeared, and shapeless thoughts hung suspended in the emptiness. The sage then held his gray head and cried out in desperation:
"I cannot think! I cannot think!"
"I can't think! I can't think!"
Thus under the indifferent glance for him, who miraculously had risen from the dead, perished everything that asserts life, its significance and joys. And it was suggested that it was dangerous to let him see the emperor, that it was better to kill him and, having buried him secretly, to tell the emperor that he had disappeared no one knew whither. Already swords were being whetted and youths devoted to the public welfare prepared for the murder, when Augustus ordered Lazarus to be brought before him next morning, thus destroying the cruel plans.
So, under the indifferent gaze of the one who had miraculously come back to life, everything that signifies life, its importance, and its joys was lost. It was suggested that it was risky to let him see the emperor, and that it would be better to kill him and bury him secretly, telling the emperor that he had vanished without a trace. Swords were already being sharpened, and young men dedicated to the public good were preparing for the murder, when Augustus ordered Lazarus to be brought before him the next morning, thereby putting an end to their cruel plans.
If there was no way of getting rid of Lazarus, at least it was possible to soften the terrible impression his face produced. With this in view, skillful painters, barbers, and artists were summoned, and all night long they were busy over Lazarus' head. They cropped his beard, curled it, and gave it a tidy, agreeable appearance. By means of paints they concealed the corpse-like blueness of his hands and face. Repulsive were the wrinkles of suffering that furrowed his old face, and they were puttied, painted, and smoothed; then, over the smooth background, wrinkles of good-tempered laughter and pleasant, carefree mirth were skillfully painted with fine brushes.
If there was no way to get rid of Lazarus, at least it was possible to soften the awful impression his face made. With that in mind, skilled painters, barbers, and artists were called in, and they spent all night working on Lazarus' head. They trimmed his beard, curled it, and gave it a neat, pleasant look. Using makeup, they covered up the corpse-like blue tint of his hands and face. The deep wrinkles of suffering that marked his old face were filled in, painted over, and smoothed out; then, on the smooth surface, they expertly painted cheerful laughter lines and hints of carefree joy with fine brushes.
Lazarus submitted indifferently to everything that was done to him. Soon he was turned into a becomingly stout, venerable old man, into a quiet and kind grandfather of numerous offspring. It seemed that the smile, with which only a while ago he was spinning funny yarns, was still lingering on his lips, and that in the corner of his eye serene tenderness was hiding, the companion of old age. But people did not dare change his nuptial garments, and they could not change his eyes, two dark and frightful glasses through which looked at men, the unknowable Yonder.
Lazarus submitted passively to everything that happened to him. Before long, he became a pleasantly plump, respectable old man, a gentle and kind grandfather to many grandchildren. It seemed like the smile he used to wear while telling amusing stories was still lingering on his lips, and there was a quiet tenderness in the corner of his eye, the companion of old age. But people didn’t dare to change his wedding clothes, and they couldn’t change his eyes, two dark and frightening windows through which stared at men, the mysterious Beyond.
VI
Lazarus was not moved by the magnificence of the imperial palace. It was as though he saw no difference between the crumbling house, closely pressed by the desert, and the stone palace, solid and fair, and indifferently he passed into it. And the hard marble of the floors under his feet grew similar to the quicksand of the desert, and the multitude of richly dressed and haughty men became like void air under his glance. No one looked into his face, as Lazarus passed by, fearing to fall under the appalling influence of his eyes; but when the sound of his heavy footsteps had sufficiently died down, the courtiers raised their heads and with fearful curiosity examined the figure of a stout, tall, slightly bent old man, who was slowly penetrating into the very heart of the imperial palace. Were Death itself passing, it would be faced with no greater fear: for until then the dead alone knew Death, and those alive knew Life only—and there was no bridge between them. But this extraordinary man, although alive, knew Death, and enigmatical, appalling, was his cursed knowledge. "Woe," people thought, "he will take the life of our great, deified Augustus," and they sent curses after Lazarus, who meanwhile kept on advancing into the interior of the palace.
Lazarus was not impressed by the splendor of the imperial palace. It was as if he saw no difference between the worn-down house, surrounded by the desert, and the solid, beautiful stone palace, and he walked into it without a care. The hard marble floors felt like the quicksand of the desert beneath his feet, and the crowd of well-dressed, arrogant men seemed like empty air under his gaze. No one met his eyes as he passed, afraid of being overwhelmed by the terrifying power of his gaze; but once the sound of his heavy footsteps faded away, the courtiers looked up and, with a mix of fear and curiosity, scrutinized the figure of a stout, tall, slightly hunched old man slowly making his way into the heart of the imperial palace. If Death itself were to appear, it wouldn't evoke more fear: until then, only the dead understood Death, while the living knew only Life—and there was no connection between them. But this extraordinary man, though alive, understood Death, and his ominous knowledge was truly chilling. "Oh no," the people thought, "he's going to take the life of our great, deified Augustus," and they hurled curses after Lazarus, who continued to make his way deeper into the palace.
Already did the emperor know who Lazarus was, and prepared to meet him. But the monarch was a brave man, and felt his own tremendous, unconquerable power, and in his fatal duel with him who had miraculously risen from the dead he wanted not to invoke human help. And so he met Lazarus face to face:
Already, the emperor knew who Lazarus was and got ready to meet him. But the king was a brave man, confident in his own immense, unbeatable power. In his inevitable showdown with the one who had miraculously risen from the dead, he didn't want to rely on anyone else. So he faced Lazarus directly:
"Lift not thine eyes upon me, Lazarus," he ordered. "I heard thy face is like that of Medusa and turns into stone whomsoever thou lookest at. Now, I wish to see thee and to have a talk with thee, before I turn into stone,"—added he in a tone of kingly jesting, not devoid of fear.
"Don't look at me, Lazarus," he commanded. "I heard your face is like Medusa's and turns anyone who looks at you to stone. Now, I want to see you and talk to you before I turn to stone,"—he added in a playful, kingly tone that still had a hint of fear.
Coming close to him, he carefully examined Lazarus' face and his strange festal garments. And although he had a keen eye, he was deceived by his appearance.
Coming close to him, he carefully examined Lazarus' face and his odd festive clothes. And even though he had a sharp eye, he was fooled by his appearance.
"So. Thou dost not appear terrible, my venerable old man. But the worse for us, if horror assumes such a respectable and pleasant air. Now let us have a talk."
"So, you don’t seem scary, my respected old man. But that’s worse for us if terror looks so respectable and pleasant. Now let’s have a conversation."
Augustus sat, and questioning Lazarus with his eye as much as with words, started the conversation:
Augustus sat down, looking at Lazarus questioningly as much with his eyes as with his words, and began the conversation:
"Why didst thou not greet me as thou enteredst?"
"Why didn't you greet me when you entered?"
Lazarus answered indifferent:
Lazarus replied nonchalantly:
"I knew not it was necessary."
"I didn't know it was necessary."
"Art thou a Christian?"
"Are you a Christian?"
"No."
"Nope."
Augustus approvingly shook his head.
Augustus nodded in approval.
"That is good. I do not like Christians. They shake the tree of life before it is covered with fruit, and disperse its odorous bloom to the winds. But who art thou?"
"That's good. I don't like Christians. They shake the tree of life before it’s full of fruit, scattering its fragrant blossoms to the wind. But who are you?"
With a visible effort Lazarus answered:
With clear effort, Lazarus replied:
"I was dead."
"I'm dead."
"I had heard that. But who art thou now?"
"I had heard that. But who are you now?"
Lazarus was silent, but at last repeated in a tone of weary apathy:
Lazarus was quiet, but eventually repeated in a tone of tired indifference:
"I was dead."
"I was gone."
"Listen to me, stranger," said the emperor, distinctly and severely giving utterance to the thought that had come to him at the beginning, "my realm is the realm of Life, my people are of the living, not of the dead. Thou art here one too many. I know not who thou art and what thou sawest there; but, if thou liest, I hate thy lies, and if thou tellst the truth, I hate thy truth. In my bosom I feel the throb of life; I feel strength in my arm, and my proud thoughts, like eagles, pierce the space. And yonder in the shelter of my rule, under the protection of laws created by me, people live and toil and rejoice. Dost thou hear the battle-cry, the challenge men throw into the face of the future?"
"Listen to me, stranger," the emperor said, clearly and sternly expressing the thought that had first come to him, "my realm is the realm of Life, my people are the living, not the dead. You're one too many here. I don’t know who you are or what you saw, but if you're lying, I hate your lies, and if you're telling the truth, I hate your truth. In my heart, I feel the pulse of life; I feel strength in my arm, and my proud thoughts soar like eagles, cutting through the air. And over there, under my protection and the laws I've created, people live, work, and find joy. Do you hear the battle cry, the challenge that people throw at the future?"
Augustus, as in prayer, stretched forth his arms and exclaimed solemnly:
Augustus, in a gesture of prayer, raised his arms and said solemnly:
"Be blessed, O great and divine Life!"
"Be blessed, oh great and divine Life!"
Lazarus was silent, and with growing sternness the emperor went on:
Lazarus was quiet, and with increasing seriousness, the emperor continued:
"Thou art not wanted here, miserable remnant, snatched from under Death's teeth, thou inspirest weariness and disgust with life; like a caterpillar in the fields, thou gloatest on the rich ear of joy and belchest out the drivel of despair and sorrow. Thy truth is like a rusty sword in the hands of a nightly murderer,—and as a murderer thou shalt be executed. But before that, let me look into thine eyes. Perchance, only cowards are afraid of them, but in the brave they awake the thirst for strife and victory; then thou shalt be rewarded, not executed.... Now, look at me, Lazarus."
"You aren't welcome here, pathetic remnant, torn from Death’s grasp. You bring fatigue and disgust with life; like a caterpillar in the fields, you feast on the rich harvest of joy and spew out the nonsense of despair and sorrow. Your truth is like a rusty sword in the hands of a night-time killer—and like a killer, you will be sentenced. But before that, let me look into your eyes. Perhaps only cowards fear them, but in the brave, they stir the thirst for conflict and victory; then you will be rewarded, not punished... Now, look at me, Lazarus."
At first it appeared to the deified Augustus that a friend was looking at him,—so soft, so tenderly fascinating was Lazarus' glance. It promised not horror, but sweet rest and the Infinite seemed to him a tender mistress, a compassionate sister, a mother. But stronger and stronger grew its embraces, and already the mouth, greedy of hissing kisses, interfered with the monarch's breathing, and already to the surface of the soft tissues of the body came the iron of the bones and tightened its merciless circle,—and unknown fangs, blunt and cold, touched his heart and sank into it with slow indolence.
At first, the deified Augustus felt like a friend was looking at him—Lazarus' gaze was so soft and tenderly captivating. It didn't promise horror, but rather sweet rest, and to him, the Infinite felt like a gentle lover, a caring sister, a mother. But the embrace grew stronger and stronger, and already the mouth, hungry for hissing kisses, was interfering with the monarch's breathing. The iron of his bones surfaced through the soft tissues of his body, tightening its merciless grip, and unknown fangs, dull and cold, pressed against his heart and sank into it with a slow lethargy.
"It pains," said the deified Augustus, growing pale. "But look at me, Lazarus, look."
"It hurts," said the divine Augustus, turning pale. "But look at me, Lazarus, look."
It was as though some heavy gates, ever closed, were slowly moving apart, and through the growing interstice the appalling horror of the Infinite poured in slowly and steadily. Like two shadows there entered the shoreless void and the unfathomable darkness; they extinguished the sun, ravished the earth from under the feet, and the roof from over the head. No more did the frozen heart ache.
It felt like some massive gates, always shut, were gradually opening, and through the widening gap, the terrifying vastness of the Infinite slowly seeped in. Like two shadows, the endless emptiness and the unfathomable darkness entered; they snuffed out the sun, tore the earth from beneath our feet, and stripped away the roof above our heads. No longer did the frozen heart feel pain.
"Look, look, Lazarus," ordered Augustus tottering.
"Look, look, Lazarus," commanded Augustus, swaying unsteadily.
Time stood still, and the beginning of each thing grew frightfully near to its end. Augustus' throne just erected, crumbled down, and the void was already in the place of the throne and of Augustus. Noiselessly did Rome crumble down, and a new city stood on its site and it too was swallowed by the void. Like fantastic giants, cities, states, and countries fell down and vanished in the void darkness—and with uttermost indifference did the insatiable black womb of the Infinite swallow them.
Time seemed to freeze, and the start of everything was frighteningly close to its end. Augustus' newly built throne collapsed, leaving nothing but emptiness where the throne and Augustus once were. Quietly, Rome fell apart, and a new city arose in its place, only to be consumed by the void as well. Like mythical giants, cities, states, and nations crumbled and disappeared into the dark void—and with complete indifference, the insatiable black depths of the Infinite devoured them.
"Halt!"—ordered the emperor.
"Stop!"—ordered the emperor.
In his voice sounded already a note of indifference, his hands dropped in languor, and in the vain struggle with the onrushing darkness his fiery eyes now blazed up, and now went out.
In his voice, there was already a hint of indifference, his hands fell in exhaustion, and in the futile battle with the overwhelming darkness, his passionate eyes would flare up, then fade away.
"My life thou hast taken from me, Lazarus,"—said he in a spiritless, feeble voice.
"My life you have taken from me, Lazarus," he said in a lifeless, weak voice.
And these words of hopelessness saved him. He remembered his people, whose shield he was destined to be, and keen salutary pain pierced his deadened heart. "They are doomed to death," he thought wearily. "Serene shadows in the darkness of the Infinite," thought he, and horror grew upon him. "Frail vessels with living seething blood with a heart that knows sorrow and also great joy," said he in his heart, and tenderness pervaded it.
And these words of hopelessness saved him. He remembered his people, for whom he was meant to be a protector, and a sharp, painful awareness pierced his numb heart. "They are facing death," he thought tiredly. "Calm shadows in the darkness of the Infinite," he reflected, and a feeling of terror washed over him. "Delicate beings with warm, flowing blood and hearts that feel both sorrow and great joy," he said to himself, and a sense of compassion filled him.
Thus pondering and oscillating between the poles of Life and Death, he slowly came back to life, to find in its suffering and in its joys a shield against the darkness of the void and the horror of the Infinite.
So, while reflecting and wavering between the extremes of Life and Death, he gradually came back to consciousness, discovering in its pain and its pleasures a barrier against the emptiness of the void and the dread of the Infinite.
"No, thou hast not murdered me, Lazarus," said he firmly, "but I will take thy life. Be gone."
"No, you haven't killed me, Lazarus," he said firmly, "but I will take your life. Get out of here."
That evening the deified Augustus partook of his meats and drinks with particular joy. Now and then his lifted hand remained suspended in the air, and a dull glimmer replaced the bright sheen of his fiery eye. It was the cold wave of Horror that surged at his feet. Defeated, but not undone, ever awaiting its hour, that Horror stood at the emperor's bedside, like a black shadow all through his life; it swayed his nights, but yielded the days to the sorrows and joys of life.
That evening, the revered Augustus enjoyed his food and drinks with noticeable happiness. Occasionally, his raised hand lingered in the air, and a dull glow replaced the once bright shine in his intense eyes. It was the chilling wave of Horror that crept up to him. Defeated but not defeated, always waiting for its moment, that Horror loomed by the emperor's bedside, like a dark shadow throughout his life; it influenced his nights but allowed the days to be filled with the sorrows and joys of life.
The following day, the hangman with a hot iron burned out Lazarus' eyes. Then he was sent home. The deified Augustus dared not kill him.
The next day, the executioner used a hot iron to burn out Lazarus' eyes. After that, he was sent home. The revered Augustus didn't dare to kill him.
Lazarus returned to the desert, and the wilderness met him with hissing gusts of wind and the heat of the blazing sun. Again he was sitting on a stone, his rough, bushy beard lifted up; and the two black holes in place of his eyes looked at the sky with an expression of dull terror. Afar-off the holy city stirred noisily and restlessly, but around him everything was deserted and dumb. No one approached the place where lived he who had miraculously risen from the dead, and long since his neighbors had forsaken their houses. Driven by the hot iron into the depth of his skull, his cursed knowledge hid there in an ambush. As though leaping out from an ambush it plunged its thousand invisible eyes into the man,—and no one dared look at Lazarus.
Lazarus returned to the desert, and the wilderness confronted him with hissing gusts of wind and the intense heat of the blazing sun. Once again, he sat on a stone, his rough, bushy beard lifted up; and the two dark holes where his eyes used to be stared up at the sky with an expression of dull terror. In the distance, the holy city stirred noisily and restlessly, but all around him, everything was deserted and silent. No one approached the place where he lived, the man who had miraculously risen from the dead, and long ago his neighbors had abandoned their homes. Driven by the hot iron into the depths of his skull, his cursed knowledge lay hidden there in ambush. As if suddenly springing from concealment, it plunged its thousand invisible eyes into the man—and no one dared to look at Lazarus.
And in the evening, when the sun, reddening and growing wider, would come nearer and nearer the western horizon, the blind Lazarus would slowly follow it. He would stumble against stones and fall, stout and weak as he was; would rise heavily to his feet and walk on again; and on the red screen of the sunset his black body and outspread hands would form a monstrous likeness of a cross.
And in the evening, when the sun turned red and got bigger, coming closer to the western horizon, the blind Lazarus would slowly follow it. He would trip over stones and fall, strong and weak as he was; he would get back up with effort and walk on again; and against the red backdrop of the sunset, his dark body and outstretched hands would create a huge silhouette resembling a cross.
And it came to pass that once he went out and did not come back. Thus seemingly ended the second life of him who for three days had been under the enigmatical sway of death, and rose miraculously from the dead.
And then one day, he went out and didn’t return. That seemed to mark the end of the second life of the one who had been mysteriously under the power of death for three days and rose back to life in a miraculous way.
The Beast with Five Fingers
By W. F. HARVEYBy W. F. Harvey
From The New Decameron, by Various Hands. Copyright, 1919, by Robert M. McBride and Company. By permission of the publishers.
From The New Decameron, by Various Authors. Copyright, 1919, by Robert M. McBride and Company. By permission of the publishers.
When I was a little boy I once went with my father to call on Adrian Borlsover. I played on the floor with a black spaniel while my father appealed for a subscription. Just before we left my father said, "Mr. Borlsover, may my son here shake hands with you? It will be a thing to look back upon with pride when he grows to be a man."
When I was a kid, I once went with my dad to visit Adrian Borlsover. I played on the floor with a black spaniel while my dad asked for a subscription. Just before we left, my dad said, "Mr. Borlsover, can my son shake your hand? It will be something he can look back on with pride when he grows up."
I came up to the bed on which the old man was lying and put my hand in his, awed by the still beauty of his face. He spoke to me kindly, and hoped that I should always try to please my father. Then he placed his right hand on my head and asked for a blessing to rest upon me. "Amen!" said my father, and I followed him out of the room, feeling as if I wanted to cry. But my father was in excellent spirits.
I walked over to the bed where the old man was lying and took his hand, struck by the calm beauty of his face. He spoke to me kindly, wishing that I would always try to make my father happy. Then he placed his right hand on my head and asked for a blessing to be upon me. "Amen!" said my father, and I followed him out of the room, feeling like I wanted to cry. But my father was in great spirits.
"That old gentleman, Jim," said he, "is the most wonderful man in the whole town. For ten years he has been quite blind."
"That old guy, Jim," he said, "is the most amazing man in the whole town. He's been completely blind for ten years."
"But I saw his eyes," I said. "They were ever so black and shiny; they weren't shut up like Nora's puppies. Can't he see at all?"
"But I saw his eyes," I said. "They were so black and shiny; they weren't closed like Nora's puppies. Can’t he see anything at all?"
And so I learnt for the first time that a man might have eyes that looked dark and beautiful and shining without being able to see.
And so I learned for the first time that a man could have eyes that looked dark, beautiful, and shining without being able to see.
"Just like Mrs. Tomlinson has big ears," I said, "and can't hear at all except when Mr. Tomlinson shouts."
"Just like Mrs. Tomlinson has huge ears," I said, "and can't hear anything unless Mr. Tomlinson yells."
"Jim," said my father, "it's not right to talk about a lady's ears. Remember what Mr. Borlsover said about pleasing me and being a good boy."
"Jim," my father said, "it's not right to talk about a lady's ears. Remember what Mr. Borlsover said about making me happy and being a good boy."
That was the only time I saw Adrian Borlsover. I soon forgot about him and the hand which he laid in blessing on my head. But for a week I prayed that those dark tender eyes might see.
That was the only time I saw Adrian Borlsover. I quickly forgot about him and the hand he placed in blessing on my head. But for a week, I prayed that those dark, gentle eyes might see.
"His spaniel may have puppies," I said in my prayers, "and he will never be able to know how funny they look with their eyes all closed up. Please let old Mr. Borlsover see."
"His spaniel might have puppies," I said in my prayers, "and he’ll never get to see how funny they look with their eyes all shut. Please let old Mr. Borlsover see."
Adrian Borlsover, as my father had said, was a wonderful man. He came of an eccentric family. Borlsovers' sons, for some reason, always seemed to marry very ordinary women, which perhaps accounted for the fact that no Borlsover had been a genius, and only one Borlsover had been mad. But they were great champions of little causes, generous patrons of odd sciences, founders of querulous sects, trustworthy guides to the bypath meadows of erudition.
Adrian Borlsover, as my father used to say, was an amazing guy. He came from an eccentric family. For some reason, the Borlsover sons always seemed to marry very ordinary women, which might explain why no Borlsover had ever been a genius, and only one had been crazy. But they were strong supporters of niche causes, generous backers of unusual sciences, founders of complaining sects, and reliable guides to the obscure fields of knowledge.
Adrian was an authority on the fertilization of orchids. He had held at one time the family living at Borlsover Conyers, until a congenital weakness of the lungs obliged him to seek a less rigorous climate in the sunny south coast watering-place where I had seen him. Occasionally he would relieve one or other of the local clergy. My father described him as a fine preacher, who gave long and inspiring sermons from what many men would have considered unprofitable texts. "An excellent proof," he would add, "of the truth of the doctrine of direct verbal inspiration."
Adrian was an expert on orchid fertilization. He had once held a position at Borlsover Conyers until a hereditary lung issue forced him to find a milder climate in the sunny coastal resort where I had met him. Occasionally, he would step in for other local clergy. My father described him as a great preacher who delivered long and inspiring sermons based on what many would think were unworthy texts. "An excellent example," he would say, "of the truth behind the doctrine of direct verbal inspiration."
Adrian Borlsover was exceedingly clever with his hands. His penmanship was exquisite. He illustrated all his scientific papers, made his own woodcuts, and carved the reredos that is at present the chief feature of interest in the church at Borlsover Conyers. He had an exceedingly clever knack in cutting silhouettes for young ladies and paper pigs and cows for little children, and made more than one complicated wind instrument of his own devising.
Adrian Borlsover was incredibly skilled with his hands. His handwriting was beautiful. He illustrated all his scientific papers, created his own woodcuts, and carved the altarpiece that is currently the main attraction in the church at Borlsover Conyers. He had a real talent for cutting silhouettes for young women and making paper pigs and cows for kids, and he crafted more than one intricate wind instrument of his own design.
When he was fifty years old Adrian Borlsover lost his sight. In a wonderfully short time he had adapted himself to the new conditions of life. He quickly learned to read Braille. So marvelous indeed was his sense of touch that he was still able to maintain his interest in botany. The mere passing of his long supple fingers over a flower was sufficient means for its identification, though occasionally he would use his lips. I have found several letters of his among my father's correspondence. In no case was there anything to show that he was afflicted with blindness and this in spite of the fact that he exercised undue economy in the spacing of lines. Towards the close of his life the old man was credited with powers of touch that seemed almost uncanny: it has been said that he could tell at once the color of a ribbon placed between his fingers. My father would neither confirm nor deny the story.
When Adrian Borlsover turned fifty, he lost his sight. In a remarkably short time, he adapted to his new way of life. He quickly learned to read Braille. His sense of touch was so incredible that he still managed to keep his passion for botany. Just running his long, flexible fingers over a flower was enough for him to identify it, although sometimes he would use his lips. I found several letters from him among my father's correspondence. In none of them was there any indication that he was blind, even though he was somewhat stingy with line spacing. Towards the end of his life, the old man was said to have almost supernatural powers of touch: it was claimed that he could instantly identify the color of a ribbon placed between his fingers. My father wouldn’t confirm or deny the story.
I
Adrian Borlsover was a bachelor. His elder brother George had married late in life, leaving one son, Eustace, who lived in the gloomy Georgian mansion at Borlsover Conyers, where he could work undisturbed in collecting material for his great book on heredity.
Adrian Borlsover was single. His older brother George had married later in life, leaving behind one son, Eustace, who lived in the dark Georgian mansion at Borlsover Conyers, where he could work uninterrupted on gathering research for his important book on heredity.
Like his uncle, he was a remarkable man. The Borlsovers had always been born naturalists, but Eustace possessed in a special degree the power of systematizing his knowledge. He had received his university education in Germany, and then, after post-graduate work in Vienna and Naples, had traveled for four years in South America and the East, getting together a huge store of material for a new study into the processes of variation.
Like his uncle, he was an exceptional man. The Borlsovers had always been naturalists, but Eustace had a special talent for organizing his knowledge. He got his university education in Germany, and after doing post-graduate work in Vienna and Naples, he spent four years traveling in South America and the East, gathering an extensive collection of material for a new study on the processes of variation.
He lived alone at Borlsover Conyers with Saunders his secretary, a man who bore a somewhat dubious reputation in the district, but whose powers as a mathematician, combined with his business abilities, were invaluable to Eustace.
He lived alone at Borlsover Conyers with Saunders, his secretary, a man who had a somewhat questionable reputation in the area, but whose skills as a mathematician, along with his business acumen, were essential to Eustace.
Uncle and nephew saw little of each other. The visits of Eustace were confined to a week in the summer or autumn: long weeks, that dragged almost as slowly as the bath-chair in which the old man was drawn along the sunny sea front. In their way the two men were fond of each other, though their intimacy would doubtless have been greater had they shared the same religious views. Adrian held to the old-fashioned evangelical dogmas of his early manhood; his nephew for many years had been thinking of embracing Buddhism. Both men possessed, too, the reticence the Borlsovers had always shown, and which their enemies sometimes called hypocrisy. With Adrian it was a reticence as to the things he had left undone; but with Eustace it seemed that the curtain which he was so careful to leave undrawn hid something more than a half-empty chamber.
Uncle and nephew didn’t see much of each other. Eustace’s visits were limited to a week in the summer or fall: long weeks that dragged on almost as slowly as the wheelchair that carried the old man along the sunny beachfront. In their own way, the two men cared for each other, although their bond would likely have been stronger if they shared the same religious beliefs. Adrian stuck to the traditional evangelical doctrines of his younger years; his nephew had been considering embracing Buddhism for many years. Both men also had the reserve that the Borlsovers had always displayed, which their critics sometimes labeled as hypocrisy. For Adrian, it was a reserve about the things he hadn’t done; for Eustace, it seemed that the curtain he carefully kept drawn concealed more than just a half-empty room.
Two years before his death Adrian Borlsover developed, unknown to himself, the not uncommon power of automatic writing. Eustace made the discovery by accident. Adrian was sitting reading in bed, the forefinger of his left hand tracing the Braille characters, when his nephew noticed that a pencil the old man held in his right hand was moving slowly along the opposite page. He left his seat in the window and sat down beside the bed. The right hand continued to move, and now he could see plainly that they were letters and words which it was forming.
Two years before his death, Adrian Borlsover unknowingly developed the fairly common ability of automatic writing. Eustace stumbled upon this by chance. Adrian was lying in bed, reading with the index finger of his left hand following the Braille characters, when his nephew noticed that a pencil in Adrian's right hand was slowly moving across the opposite page. He got up from his seat by the window and sat next to the bed. The right hand kept moving, and now he could clearly see that it was forming letters and words.
"Adrian Borlsover," wrote the hand, "Eustace Borlsover, George Borlsover, Francis Borlsover Sigismund Borlsover, Adrian Borlsover, Eustace Borlsover, Saville Borlsover. B, for Borlsover. Honesty is the Best Policy. Beautiful Belinda Borlsover."
"Adrian Borlsover," the handwriting said, "Eustace Borlsover, George Borlsover, Francis Borlsover, Sigismund Borlsover, Adrian Borlsover, Eustace Borlsover, Saville Borlsover. B, for Borlsover. Honesty is the Best Policy. Beautiful Belinda Borlsover."
"What curious nonsense!" said Eustace to himself.
"What a strange thing to think!" Eustace said to himself.
"King George the Third ascended the throne in 1760," wrote the hand. "Crowd, a noun of multitude; a collection of individuals—Adrian Borlsover, Eustace Borlsover."
"King George III came to the throne in 1760," wrote the hand. "Crowd, a noun for many; a group of individuals—Adrian Borlsover, Eustace Borlsover."
"It seems to me," said his uncle, closing the book, "that you had much better make the most of the afternoon sunshine and take your walk now." "I think perhaps I will," Eustace answered as he picked up the volume. "I won't go far, and when I come back I can read to you those articles in Nature about which we were speaking."
"It seems to me," said his uncle, closing the book, "that you should really take advantage of the afternoon sunshine and go for a walk now." "I think I will," Eustace replied as he picked up the book. "I won't go far, and when I get back, I can read you those articles in Nature that we were talking about."
He went along the promenade, but stopped at the first shelter, and seating himself in the corner best protected from the wind, he examined the book at leisure. Nearly every page was scored with a meaningless jungle of pencil marks: rows of capital letters, short words, long words, complete sentences, copy-book tags. The whole thing, in fact, had the appearance of a copy-book, and on a more careful scrutiny Eustace thought that there was ample evidence to show that the handwriting at the beginning of the book, good though it was was not nearly so good as the handwriting at the end.
He walked down the promenade but stopped at the first shelter. Sitting in the corner that was best protected from the wind, he casually looked through the book. Almost every page was covered with a chaotic mess of pencil marks: lines of capital letters, short words, long words, complete sentences, and copybook tags. It all looked like a copybook, and on closer inspection, Eustace noticed that there was plenty of evidence showing that the handwriting at the beginning of the book, though decent, was nowhere near as good as the handwriting at the end.
He left his uncle at the end of October, with a promise to return early in December. It seemed to him quite clear that the old man's power of automatic writing was developing rapidly, and for the first time he looked forward to a visit that combined duty with interest.
He left his uncle at the end of October, promising to return early in December. It was clear to him that the old man's ability for automatic writing was growing quickly, and for the first time, he was looking forward to a visit that mixed obligation with excitement.
But on his return he was at first disappointed. His uncle, he thought, looked older. He was listless too, preferring others to read to him and dictating nearly all his letters. Not until the day before he left had Eustace an opportunity of observing Adrian Borlsover's new-found faculty.
But when he got back, he was initially let down. He thought his uncle looked older. He also seemed indifferent, wanting others to read to him and dictating almost all his letters. Eustace didn’t get a chance to see Adrian Borlsover’s new talent until the day before he left.
The old man, propped up in bed with pillows, had sunk into a light sleep. His two hands lay on the coverlet, his left hand tightly clasping his right. Eustace took an empty manuscript book and placed a pencil within reach of the fingers of the right hand. They snatched at it eagerly; then dropped the pencil to unloose the left hand from its restraining grasp.
The old man, supported by pillows in bed, had drifted into a light sleep. His hands rested on the blanket, his left hand gripping his right one tightly. Eustace picked up an empty notebook and set a pencil within reach of the fingers of the right hand. They reached for it eagerly, then let go of the pencil to free the left hand from its tight hold.
"Perhaps to prevent interference I had better hold that hand," said Eustace to himself, as he watched the pencil. Almost immediately it began to write.
"Maybe to avoid any distractions I should hold that hand," Eustace thought to himself as he watched the pencil. Almost right away, it started to write.
"Blundering Borlsovers, unnecessarily unnatural, extraordinarily eccentric, culpably curious."
"Clumsy Borlsovers, unreasonably weird, exceptionally quirky, and inappropriately nosy."
"Who are you?" asked Eustace, in a low voice.
"Who are you?" Eustace asked quietly.
"Never you mind," wrote the hand of Adrian.
"Don't worry about it," wrote Adrian's hand.
"Is it my uncle who is writing?"
"Is my uncle the one writing?"
"Oh, my prophetic soul, mine uncle."
"Oh, my prophetic soul, my uncle."
"Is it anyone I know?"
"Is it someone I know?"
"Silly Eustace, you'll see me very soon."
"Silly Eustace, you'll see me soon."
"When shall I see you?"
"When will I see you?"
"When poor old Adrian's dead."
"When poor old Adrian is gone."
"Where shall I see you?"
"Where will I see you?"
"Where shall you not?"
"Where won't you go?"
Instead of speaking his next question, Borlsover wrote it. "What is the time?"
Instead of asking his next question aloud, Borlsover wrote it down. "What time is it?"
The fingers dropped the pencil and moved three or four times across the paper. Then, picking up the pencil, they wrote:
The fingers let go of the pencil and moved back and forth a few times across the paper. Then, picking it up again, they wrote:
"Ten minutes before four. Put your book away, Eustace. Adrian mustn't find us working at this sort of thing. He doesn't know what to make of it, and I won't have poor old Adrian disturbed. Au revoir."
"Ten minutes before four. Put your book away, Eustace. Adrian can't find us doing this kind of thing. He doesn't know how to handle it, and I won't let poor old Adrian get upset. See you later."
Adrian Borlsover awoke with a start.
Adrian Borlsover suddenly woke up.
"I've been dreaming again," he said; "such queer dreams of leaguered cities and forgotten towns. You were mixed up in this one, Eustace, though I can't remember how. Eustace, I want to warn you. Don't walk in doubtful paths. Choose your friends well. Your poor grandfather——"
"I've been dreaming again," he said; "such strange dreams of besieged cities and abandoned towns. You were part of this one, Eustace, though I can’t quite recall how. Eustace, I want to give you a warning. Don’t tread uncertain paths. Pick your friends wisely. Your poor grandfather——"
A fit of coughing put an end to what he was saying, but Eustace saw that the hand was still writing. He managed unnoticed to draw the book away. "I'll light the gas," he said, "and ring for tea." On the other side of the bed curtain he saw the last sentences that had been written.
A coughing fit interrupted what he was saying, but Eustace noticed that the hand kept writing. He quietly pulled the book away. "I'll turn on the gas," he said, "and order some tea." On the other side of the bed curtain, he saw the last sentences that had been written.
"It's too late, Adrian," he read. "We're friends already; aren't we, Eustace Borlsover?"
"It's too late, Adrian," he read. "We're already friends; aren’t we, Eustace Borlsover?"
On the following day Eustace Borlsover left. He thought his uncle looked ill when he said good-by, and the old man spoke despondently of the failure his life had been.
On the next day, Eustace Borlsover left. He thought his uncle looked sick when he said goodbye, and the old man spoke sadly about how his life had been a failure.
"Nonsense, uncle!" said his nephew. "You have got over your difficulties in a way not one in a hundred thousand would have done. Every one marvels at your splendid perseverance in teaching your hand to take the place of your lost sight. To me it's been a revelation of the possibilities of education."
"Nonsense, Uncle!" said his nephew. "You've overcome your challenges in a way that one in a hundred thousand couldn't have. Everyone admires your amazing determination in teaching your hands to compensate for your lost sight. To me, it's been a revelation of what education can achieve."
"Education," said his uncle dreamily, as if the word had started a new train of thought, "education is good so long as you know to whom and for what purpose you give it. But with the lower orders of men, the base and more sordid spirits, I have grave doubts as to its results. Well, good-by, Eustace, I may not see you again. You are a true Borlsover, with all the Borlsover faults. Marry, Eustace. Marry some good, sensible girl. And if by any chance I don't see you again, my will is at my solicitor's. I've not left you any legacy, because I know you're well provided for, but I thought you might like to have my books. Oh, and there's just one other thing. You know, before the end people often lose control over themselves and make absurd requests. Don't pay any attention to them, Eustace. Good-by!" and he held out his hand. Eustace took it. It remained in his a fraction of a second longer than he had expected, and gripped him with a virility that was surprising. There was, too, in its touch a subtle sense of intimacy.
"Education," his uncle said dreamily, as if the word had sparked a new train of thought, "education is great as long as you know who to give it to and what purpose it serves. But with the lower classes, the more base and sordid souls, I have serious doubts about its effectiveness. Well, goodbye, Eustace, I might not see you again. You’re a true Borlsover, with all the classic Borlsover flaws. Marry, Eustace. Marry a good, sensible girl. And if by any chance I don’t see you again, my will is with my lawyer. I haven’t left you any inheritance because I know you’re well taken care of, but I thought you might like my books. Oh, and there’s just one more thing. You know, near the end, people often lose their grip and make ridiculous requests. Don’t pay any mind to those, Eustace. Goodbye!" and he extended his hand. Eustace took it. It lingered in his a fraction of a second longer than he’d expected and gripped him with surprising strength. There was, too, in its touch a subtle sense of intimacy.
"Why, uncle!" he said, "I shall see you alive and well for many long years to come."
"Why, uncle!" he said, "I’ll see you alive and well for a lot of years to come."
Two months later Adrian Borlsover died.
Two months later, Adrian Borlsover died.
II
Eustace Borlsover was in Naples at the time. He read the obituary notice in the Morning Post on the day announced for the funeral.
Eustace Borlsover was in Naples at the time. He read the obituary notice in the Morning Post on the day that the funeral was scheduled.
"Poor old fellow!" he said. "I wonder where I shall find room for all his books."
"Poor guy!" he said. "I wonder where I’ll find space for all his books."
The question occurred to him again with greater force when three days later he found himself standing in the library at Borlsover Conyers, a huge room built for use, and not for beauty, in the year of Waterloo by a Borlsover who was an ardent admirer of the great Napoleon. It was arranged on the plan of many college libraries, with tall, projecting bookcases forming deep recesses of dusty silence, fit graves for the old hates of forgotten controversy, the dead passions of forgotten lives. At the end of the room, behind the bust of some unknown eighteenth-century divine, an ugly iron corkscrew stair led to a shelf-lined gallery. Nearly every shelf was full.
The question hit him harder again three days later when he found himself standing in the library at Borlsover Conyers, a massive room designed for function, not for looks, built in the year of Waterloo by a Borlsover who was a passionate admirer of Napoleon. It was laid out like many college libraries, with tall, protruding bookcases creating deep corners of dusty silence, like resting places for old grudges of forgotten debates, the lifeless emotions of vanished lives. At the end of the room, behind the bust of some unknown 18th-century religious figure, an unsightly iron corkscrew staircase led up to a gallery lined with shelves. Almost every shelf was packed.
"I must talk to Saunders about it," said Eustace. "I suppose that it will be necessary to have the billiard-room fitted up with book cases."
"I need to talk to Saunders about this," said Eustace. "I guess we’ll need to set up the billiard room with bookcases."
The two men met for the first time after many weeks in the dining-room that evening.
The two men met for the first time in weeks that evening in the dining room.
"Hullo!" said Eustace, standing before the fire with his hands in his pockets. "How goes the world, Saunders? Why these dress togs?" He himself was wearing an old shooting-jacket. He did not believe in mourning, as he had told his uncle on his last visit; and though he usually went in for quiet-colored ties, he wore this evening one of an ugly red, in order to shock Morton the butler, and to make them thrash out the whole question of mourning for themselves in the servants' hall. Eustace was a true Borlsover. "The world," said Saunders, "goes the same as usual, confoundedly slow. The dress togs are accounted for by an invitation from Captain Lockwood to bridge."
"Hey!" said Eustace, standing in front of the fire with his hands in his pockets. "How's it going, Saunders? Why the fancy clothes?" He was wearing an old shooting jacket. He didn’t believe in mourning, as he had told his uncle during his last visit; and even though he usually preferred understated ties, tonight he wore a hideous red one to shock Morton the butler and make them debate the whole mourning thing for themselves in the servants' hall. Eustace was a true Borlsover. "The world," said Saunders, "moves at its usual painfully slow pace. The fancy clothes are because of an invitation from Captain Lockwood to play bridge."
"How are you getting there?"
"How are you getting there?"
"I've told your coachman to drive me in your carriage. Any objection?"
"I told your driver to take me in your carriage. Any objections?"
"Oh, dear me, no! We've had all things in common for far too many years for me to raise objections at this hour of the day."
"Oh, come on, no! We’ve shared everything for way too long for me to start complaining now."
"You'll find your correspondence in the library," went on Saunders. "Most of it I've seen to. There are a few private letters I haven't opened. There's also a box with a rat, or something, inside it that came by the evening post. Very likely it's the six-toed albino. I didn't look, because I didn't want to mess up my things but I should gather from the way it's jumping about that it's pretty hungry."
"You'll find your mail in the library," Saunders continued. "I've gone through most of it. There are a few personal letters I haven't opened. There's also a box with a rat, or something, inside that arrived by evening post. It's probably the six-toed albino. I didn't check, because I didn't want to mess up my stuff, but judging by how it's jumping around, it seems pretty hungry."
"Oh, I'll see to it," said Eustace, "while you and the Captain earn an honest penny."
"Oh, I'll handle it," said Eustace, "while you and the Captain make some honest money."
Dinner over and Saunders gone, Eustace went into the library. Though the fire had been lit the room was by no means cheerful.
Dinner was finished, and Saunders had left, so Eustace went into the library. Even though the fire was going, the room didn't feel cheerful at all.
"We'll have all the lights on at any rate," he said, as he turned the switches. "And, Morton," he added, when the butler brought the coffee, "get me a screwdriver or something to undo this box. Whatever the animal is, he's kicking up the deuce of a row. What is it? Why are you dawdling?"
"We'll keep all the lights on anyway," he said, as he flipped the switches. "And, Morton," he added, when the butler brought the coffee, "get me a screwdriver or something to open this box. Whatever creature is in there is causing a big fuss. What is it? Why are you taking so long?"
"If you please, sir, when the postman brought it he told me that they'd bored the holes in the lid at the post-office. There were no breathin' holes in the lid, sir, and they didn't want the animal to die. That is all, sir."
"If you don’t mind me saying, sir, when the postman delivered it, he mentioned that they had drilled holes in the lid at the post office. There were no breathing holes in the lid, sir, and they didn’t want the animal to die. That’s all, sir."
"It's culpably careless of the man, whoever he was," said Eustace, as he removed the screws, "packing an animal like this in a wooden box with no means of getting air. Confound it all! I meant to ask Morton to bring me a cage to put it in. Now I suppose I shall have to get one myself."
"It's recklessly careless of the guy, whoever he is," said Eustace, as he took off the screws, "to pack an animal like this in a wooden box without any way to get air. Damn it all! I meant to ask Morton to bring me a cage to put it in. Now I guess I’ll have to get one myself."
He placed a heavy book on the lid from which the screws had been removed, and went into the billiard-room. As he came back into the library with an empty cage in his hand he heard the sound of something falling, and then of something scuttling along the floor.
He put a heavy book on the lid after taking out the screws, and walked into the billiard room. When he returned to the library holding an empty cage, he heard something fall, followed by the sound of something scurrying across the floor.
"Bother it! The beast's got out. How in the world am I to find it again in this library!"
"Bother it! The beast got out. How on earth am I supposed to find it again in this library!"
To search for it did indeed seem hopeless. He tried to follow the sound of the scuttling in one of the recesses where the animal seemed to be running behind the books in the shelves, but it was impossible to locate it. Eustace resolved to go on quietly reading. Very likely the animal might gain confidence and show itself. Saunders seemed to have dealt in his usual methodical manner with most of the correspondence. There were still the private letters.
Searching for it really did seem pointless. He tried to track the sound of the rustling in one of the corners where the animal seemed to be moving behind the books on the shelves, but he couldn’t pinpoint it. Eustace decided to keep reading quietly. The animal might get braver and reveal itself. Saunders had handled most of the correspondence in his usual methodical way. There were still the personal letters left.
What was that? Two sharp clicks and the lights in the hideous candelabra that hung from the ceiling suddenly went out.
What was that? Two quick clicks and the lights in the ugly candelabra hanging from the ceiling suddenly went out.
"I wonder if something has gone wrong with the fuse," said Eustace, as he went to the switches by the door. Then he stopped. There was a noise at the other end of the room, as if something was crawling up the iron corkscrew stair. "If it's gone into the gallery," he said, "well and good." He hastily turned on the lights, crossed the room, and climbed up the stair. But he could see nothing. His grandfather had placed a little gate at the top of the stair, so that children could run and romp in the gallery without fear of accident. This Eustace closed, and having considerably narrowed the circle of his search, returned to his desk by the fire.
"I wonder if something's wrong with the fuse," Eustace said as he went over to the switches by the door. Then he paused. He heard a noise at the other end of the room, like something was crawling up the iron corkscrew staircase. "If it's gone into the gallery, that's fine," he said. He quickly turned on the lights, crossed the room, and climbed up the stairs. But he couldn't see anything. His grandfather had put a little gate at the top of the stairs so that kids could run and play in the gallery without worrying about accidents. Eustace closed it, and, having significantly narrowed down his search, returned to his desk by the fire.
How gloomy the library was! There was no sense of intimacy about the room. The few busts that an eighteenth-century Borlsover had brought back from the grand tour, might have been in keeping in the old library. Here they seemed out of place. They made the room feel cold, in spite of the heavy red damask curtains and great gilt cornices.
How dreary the library was! There was no feeling of closeness in the room. The few busts that an eighteenth-century Borlsover had brought back from the grand tour might have suited the old library, but here they seemed out of place. They made the room feel cold, despite the heavy red damask curtains and large gilt cornices.
With a crash two heavy books fell from the gallery to the floor; then, as Borlsover looked, another and yet another.
With a crash, two heavy books fell from the balcony to the floor; then, as Borlsover watched, one more and then another.
"Very well; you'll starve for this, my beauty!" he said. "We'll do some little experiments on the metabolism of rats deprived of water. Go on! Chuck them down! I think I've got the upper hand." He turned once again to his correspondence. The letter was from the family solicitor. It spoke of his uncle's death and of the valuable collection of books that had been left to him in the will.
"Alright; you're really going to suffer for this, my dear!" he said. "We'll conduct some small experiments on the metabolism of rats that haven't had water. Go ahead! Drop them in! I think I've got the advantage." He turned back to his correspondence. The letter was from the family lawyer. It mentioned his uncle's death and the valuable collection of books that he had inherited in the will.
"There was one request," he read, "which certainly came as a surprise to me. As you know, Mr. Adrian Borlsover had left instructions that his body was to be buried in as simple a manner as possible at Eastbourne. He expressed a desire that there should be neither wreaths nor flowers of any kind, and hoped that his friends and relatives would not consider it necessary to wear mourning. The day before his death we received a letter canceling these instructions. He wished his body to be embalmed (he gave us the address of the man we were to employ—Pennifer, Ludgate Hill), with orders that his right hand was to be sent to you, stating that it was at your special request. The other arrangements as to the funeral remained unaltered."
"There was one request," he read, "that definitely surprised me. As you know, Mr. Adrian Borlsover had instructed that his body be buried as simply as possible in Eastbourne. He didn’t want any wreaths or flowers at all and hoped that his friends and family wouldn’t feel the need to wear mourning clothes. The day before his death, we got a letter canceling those instructions. He wanted his body to be embalmed (he provided the address of the person we should hire—Pennifer, Ludgate Hill), and he instructed that his right hand be sent to you, noting that it was at your special request. The other funeral arrangements remain unchanged."
"Good Lord!" said Eustace; "what in the world was the old boy driving at? And what in the name of all that's holy is that?"
"Good Lord!" said Eustace; "what on earth was the old guy getting at? And what the heck is that?"
Someone was in the gallery. Someone had pulled the cord attached to one of the blinds, and it had rolled up with a snap. Someone must be in the gallery, for a second blind did the same. Someone must be walking round the gallery, for one after the other the blinds sprang up, letting in the moonlight.
Someone was in the gallery. Someone had pulled the cord attached to one of the blinds, and it rolled up with a snap. Someone had to be in the gallery because a second blind did the same. Someone must be walking around the gallery, as one after another, the blinds sprang up, letting in the moonlight.
"I haven't got to the bottom of this yet," said Eustace, "but I will do before the night is very much older," and he hurried up the corkscrew stair. He had just got to the top when the lights went out a second time, and he heard again the scuttling along the floor. Quickly he stole on tiptoe in the dim moonshine in the direction of the noise, feeling as he went for one of the switches. His fingers touched the metal knob at last. He turned on the electric light.
"I haven't figured this out yet," Eustace said, "but I will before the night is too much older." He hurried up the spiral staircase. He had just reached the top when the lights went out again, and he heard the scuttling noise along the floor once more. Quickly, he tiptoed in the dim moonlight toward the sound, feeling for one of the switches as he moved. Finally, his fingers found the metal knob. He turned on the electric light.
About ten yards in front of him, crawling along the floor, was a man's hand. Eustace stared at it in utter astonishment. It was moving quickly, in the manner of a geometer caterpillar, the fingers humped up one moment, flattened out the next; the thumb appeared to give a crab-like motion to the whole. While he was looking, too surprised to stir, the hand disappeared round the corner. Eustace ran forward. He no longer saw it, but he could hear it as it squeezed its way behind the books on one of the shelves. A heavy volume had been displaced. There was a gap in the row of books where it had got in. In his fear lest it should escape him again, he seized the first book that came to his hand and plugged it into the hole. Then, emptying two shelves of their contents, he took the wooden boards and propped them up in front to make his barrier doubly sure.
About ten yards in front of him, crawling along the floor, was a man's hand. Eustace stared at it in complete shock. It was moving quickly, like a inchworm, the fingers curling up one moment, flattening out the next; the thumb seemed to give a crab-like motion to the whole thing. While he was staring, too surprised to move, the hand disappeared around the corner. Eustace ran forward. He couldn’t see it anymore, but he could hear it as it squeezed its way behind the books on one of the shelves. A heavy book had been knocked to the side. There was a gap in the row of books where it had gotten in. Afraid it would escape him again, he grabbed the first book he could find and stuffed it into the gap. Then, emptying two shelves of their contents, he took the wooden boards and propped them up in front to make his barrier even more secure.
"I wish Saunders was back," he said; "one can't tackle this sort of thing alone." It was after eleven, and there seemed little likelihood of Saunders returning before twelve. He did not dare to leave the shelf unwatched, even to run downstairs to ring the bell. Morton the butler often used to come round about eleven to see that the windows were fastened, but he might not come. Eustace was thoroughly unstrung. At last he heard steps down below.
"I wish Saunders would come back," he said; "you can't handle this kind of thing by yourself." It was after eleven, and it didn't look like Saunders would be back before twelve. He didn't want to leave the shelf unattended, even to run downstairs to ring the bell. Morton, the butler, usually came around about eleven to check that the windows were locked, but he might not show up. Eustace was completely on edge. Finally, he heard footsteps downstairs.
"Morton!" he shouted; "Morton!"
"Morton!" he called; "Morton!"
"Sir?"
"Excuse me?"
"Has Mr. Saunders got back yet?"
"Has Mr. Saunders come back yet?"
"Not yet, sir."
"Not yet, sir."
"Well, bring me some brandy, and hurry up about it. I'm up here in the gallery, you duffer."
"Well, bring me some brandy, and make it quick. I'm up here in the gallery, you fool."
"Thanks," said Eustace, as he emptied the glass. "Don't go to bed yet, Morton. There are a lot of books that have fallen down by accident; bring them up and put them back in their shelves."
"Thanks," said Eustace, as he finished the drink. "Don’t go to bed yet, Morton. A bunch of books have fallen down by accident; bring them up and put them back on their shelves."
Morton had never seen Borlsover in so talkative a mood as on that night. "Here," said Eustace, when the books had been put back and dusted, "you might hold up these boards for me, Morton. That beast in the box got out, and I've been chasing it all over the place."
Morton had never seen Borlsover so chatty as he was that night. "Here," Eustace said, after putting the books back and dusting them, "could you hold up these boards for me, Morton? That beast in the box got out, and I've been chasing it everywhere."
"I think I can hear it chawing at the books, sir. They're not valuable, I hope? I think that's the carriage, sir; I'll go and call Mr. Saunders."
"I think I can hear it chewing on the books, sir. They’re not valuable, I hope? I think that’s the carriage, sir; I’ll go and call Mr. Saunders."
It seemed to Eustace that he was away for five minutes, but it could hardly have been more than one when he returned with Saunders. "All right, Morton, you can go now. I'm up here, Saunders."
It felt like Eustace was gone for five minutes, but it was probably only about a minute when he came back with Saunders. "Okay, Morton, you can leave now. I'm up here, Saunders."
"What's all the row?" asked Saunders, as he lounged forward with his hands in his pockets. The luck had been with him all the evening. He was completely satisfied, both with himself and with Captain Lockwood's taste in wines. "What's the matter? You look to me to be in an absolute blue funk."
"What's all the fuss about?" asked Saunders, leaning forward with his hands in his pockets. He had been lucky all evening. He felt completely satisfied, both with himself and with Captain Lockwood's choice of wines. "What’s wrong? You seem to be in a total panic."
"That old devil of an uncle of mine," began Eustace—"oh, I can't explain it all. It's his hand that's been playing old Harry all the evening. But I've got it cornered behind these books. You've got to help me catch it."
"That tricky uncle of mine," Eustace started, "oh, I can't explain everything. He's the one who's been causing all sorts of trouble all evening. But I've got it trapped behind these books. You have to help me catch it."
"What's up with you, Eustace? What's the game?"
"What's going on with you, Eustace? What's the deal?"
"It's no game, you silly idiot! If you don't believe me take out one of those books and put your hand in and feel."
"It's not a joke, you foolish person! If you don't believe me, take one of those books, put your hand inside, and feel."
"All right," said Saunders; "but wait till I've rolled up my sleeve. The accumulated dust of centuries, eh?" He took off his coat, knelt down, and thrust his arm along the shelf.
"Okay," said Saunders, "but hold on while I roll up my sleeve. The dust of ages, right?" He took off his coat, knelt down, and reached his arm along the shelf.
"There's something there right enough," he said. "It's got a funny stumpy end to it, whatever it is, and nips like a crab. Ah, no, you don't!" He pulled his hand out in a flash. "Shove in a book quickly. Now it can't get out."
"There's definitely something there," he said. "It has a weird stumpy end, whatever it is, and pinches like a crab. Oh no, you don't!" He yanked his hand back quickly. "Grab a book fast. Now it can't escape."
"What was it?" asked Eustace.
"What was that?" asked Eustace.
"It was something that wanted very much to get hold of me. I felt what seemed like a thumb and forefinger. Give me some brandy."
"It was something that really wanted to grab hold of me. I felt what seemed like a thumb and forefinger. Give me some brandy."
"How are we to get it out of there?"
"How are we going to get it out of there?"
"What about a landing net?"
"How about a landing net?"
"No good. It would be too smart for us. I tell you, Saunders, it can cover the ground far faster than I can walk. But I think I see how we can manage it. The two books at the end of the shelf are big ones that go right back against the wall. The others are very thin. I'll take out one at a time, and you slide the rest along until we have it squashed between the end two."
"No good. It would be too clever for us. I’m telling you, Saunders, it can cover the ground way faster than I can walk. But I think I have a plan. The two books at the end of the shelf are big ones that press right up against the wall. The others are really thin. I’ll take one out at a time, and you slide the rest along until we’ve got it squeezed between the last two."
It certainly seemed to be the best plan. One by one, as they took out the books, the space behind grew smaller and smaller. There was something in it that was certainly very much alive. Once they caught sight of fingers pressing outward for a way of escape. At last they had it pressed between the two big books.
It definitely looked like the best plan. One by one, as they took the books out, the space behind them got smaller and smaller. There was definitely something in there that was very much alive. At one point, they saw fingers pushing against the sides, trying to escape. Finally, they managed to trap it between the two big books.
"There's muscle there, if there isn't flesh and blood," said Saunders, as he held them together. "It seems to be a hand right enough, too. I suppose this is a sort of infectious hallucination. I've read about such cases before."
"There's muscle there, even if there's not flesh and blood," said Saunders, as he held them together. "It definitely seems to be a hand. I guess this is some kind of contagious hallucination. I've read about cases like this before."
"Infectious fiddlesticks!" said Eustace, his face white with anger; "bring the thing downstairs. We'll get it back into the box."
"Infectious fiddlesticks!" Eustace exclaimed, his face pale with anger. "Bring the thing downstairs. We'll put it back in the box."
It was not altogether easy, but they were successful at last. "Drive in the screws," said Eustace, "we won't run any risks. Put the box in this old desk of mine. There's nothing in it that I want. Here's the key. Thank goodness, there's nothing wrong with the lock."
It wasn't entirely simple, but they finally succeeded. "Screw it in," Eustace said, "let's not take any chances. Put the box in this old desk of mine. There's nothing in there that I need. Here's the key. Thank goodness, the lock's working fine."
"Quite a lively evening," said Saunders. "Now let's hear more about your uncle."
"That was quite an exciting evening," Saunders said. "Now let's hear more about your uncle."
They sat up together until early morning. Saunders had no desire for sleep. Eustace was trying to explain and to forget: to conceal from himself a fear that he had never felt before—the fear of walking alone down the long corridor to his bedroom.
They stayed up together until early morning. Saunders didn't want to sleep. Eustace was trying to explain and forget: to hide from himself a fear he had never felt before—the fear of walking alone down the long hallway to his bedroom.
III
"Whatever it was," said Eustace to Saunders on the following morning, "I propose that we drop the subject. There's nothing to keep us here for the next ten days. We'll motor up to the Lakes and get some climbing."
"Whatever it was," Eustace said to Saunders the next morning, "I think we should just drop it. There's no reason for us to stay here for the next ten days. Let’s drive up to the Lakes and do some climbing."
"And see nobody all day, and sit bored to death with each other every night. Not for me thanks. Why not run up to town? Run's the exact word in this case, isn't it? We're both in such a blessed funk. Pull yourself together Eustace, and let's have another look at the hand."
"And see nobody all day, and sit around bored to death with each other every night. No thanks, not for me. Why not head into town? 'Head' is the perfect word here, isn't it? We're both in such a terrible mood. Get it together, Eustace, and let's take another look at the hand."
"As you like," said Eustace; "there's the key." They went into the library and opened the desk. The box was as they had left it on the previous night.
"As you wish," said Eustace; "there's the key." They entered the library and unlocked the desk. The box was just as they had left it the night before.
"What are you waiting for?" asked Eustace.
"What are you waiting for?" Eustace asked.
"I am waiting for you to volunteer to open the lid. However, since you seem to funk it, allow me. There doesn't seem to be the likelihood of any rumpus this morning, at all events." He opened the lid and picked out the hand.
"I’m waiting for you to step up and open the lid. But since you seem hesitant, let me do it. It doesn’t look like there’s going to be any trouble this morning, anyway." He lifted the lid and took out the hand.
"Cold?" asked Eustace.
"Cold?" Eustace asked.
"Tepid. A bit below blood-heat by the feel. Soft and supple too. If it's the embalming, it's a sort of embalming I've never seen before. Is it your uncle's hand?"
"Tepid. A little below body temperature to the touch. Soft and flexible too. If this is embalming, it's a kind I've never encountered before. Is it your uncle's hand?"
"Oh, yes, it's his all right," said Eustace. "I should know those long thin fingers anywhere. Put it back in the box, Saunders. Never mind about the screws. I'll lock the desk, so that there'll be no chance of its getting out. We'll compromise by motoring up to town for a week. If we get off soon after lunch we ought to be at Grantham or Stamford by night."
"Oh, yes, it’s definitely his," said Eustace. "I’d recognize those long, thin fingers anywhere. Put it back in the box, Saunders. Don’t worry about the screws. I’ll lock the desk, so there’s no chance of it getting out. We’ll compromise by driving up to town for a week. If we leave soon after lunch, we should get to Grantham or Stamford by night."
"Right," said Saunders; "and to-morrow—Oh, well, by to-morrow we shall have forgotten all about this beastly thing."
"Right," Saunders said, "and tomorrow—Oh well, by tomorrow we’ll have completely forgotten about this terrible thing."
If when the morrow came they had not forgotten, it was certainly true that at the end of the week they were able to tell a very vivid ghost story at the little supper Eustace gave on Hallow E'en.
If when the next day came they hadn’t forgotten, it was definitely true that by the end of the week they could share a really vivid ghost story at the little dinner Eustace hosted on Halloween.
"You don't want us to believe that it's true, Mr. Borlsover? How perfectly awful!"
"You really don't want us to believe that's true, Mr. Borlsover? How completely terrible!"
"I'll take my oath on it, and so would Saunders here; wouldn't you, old chap?"
"I swear to it, and so would Saunders here; wouldn't you, buddy?"
"Any number of oaths," said Saunders. "It was a long thin hand, you know, and it gripped me just like that."
"Any number of promises," said Saunders. "It was a long, slender hand, you know, and it grabbed me just like that."
"Don't Mr. Saunders! Don't! How perfectly horrid! Now tell us another one, do. Only a really creepy one, please!"
"Don't Mr. Saunders! Don't! How absolutely awful! Now tell us another one, please. Just a really creepy one!"
"Here's a pretty mess!" said Eustace on the following day as he threw a letter across the table to Saunders. "It's your affair, though. Mrs. Merrit, if I understand it, gives a month's notice."
"Here's quite a mess!" Eustace said the next day as he tossed a letter across the table to Saunders. "It's your problem, though. Mrs. Merrit, if I'm getting it right, is giving a month's notice."
"Oh, that's quite absurd on Mrs. Merrit's part," Saunders replied. "She doesn't know what she's talking about. Let's see what she says."
"Oh, that’s really ridiculous coming from Mrs. Merrit," Saunders replied. "She has no idea what she's talking about. Let’s see what she says."
"Dear Sir," he read, "this is to let you know that I must give you a month's notice as from Tuesday the 13th. For a long time I've felt the place too big for me, but when Jane Parfit, and Emma Laidlaw go off with scarcely as much as an 'if you please,' after frightening the wits out of the other girls, so that they can't turn out a room by themselves or walk alone down the stairs for fear of treading on half-frozen toads or hearing it run along the passages at night, all I can say is that it's no place for me. So I must ask you, Mr. Borlsover, sir, to find a new housekeeper that has no objection to large and lonely houses, which some people do say, not that I believe them for a minute, my poor mother always having been a Wesleyan, are haunted.
"Dear Sir/Madam," he read, "I’m writing to let you know that I need to give you a month's notice starting Tuesday the 13th. For a while now, I’ve felt like this place is too much for me, especially since Jane Parfit and Emma Laidlaw left without so much as a 'please,' after scaring the life out of the other girls. They’re too frightened to even tidy up a room by themselves or go down the stairs alone for fear of stepping on half-frozen toads or hearing things scurry down the halls at night. Honestly, this isn't the right place for me. So, I must ask you, Mr. Borlsover, to find a new housekeeper who has no problem with big, lonely houses, which some people claim, though I don’t believe them for a second—my poor mother having always been a Wesleyan—are haunted."
"Yours faithfully,
Elizabeth Merrit.
"Best regards,
Elizabeth Merrit.
"P.S.—I should be obliged if you would give my respects to Mr. Saunders. I hope that he won't run no risks with his cold."
"P.S.—I would appreciate it if you could send my regards to Mr. Saunders. I hope he won't take any risks with his cold."
"Saunders," said Eustace, "you've always had a wonderful way with you in dealing with servants. You mustn't let poor old Merrit go."
"Saunders," Eustace said, "you've always had a great way of handling staff. You can't let poor old Merrit go."
"Of course she shan't go," said Saunders. "She's probably only angling for a rise in salary. I'll write to her this morning."
"Of course she shouldn’t go," said Saunders. "She’s probably just trying to get a raise. I’ll write to her this morning."
"No; there's nothing like a personal interview. We've had enough of town. We'll go back to-morrow, and you must work your cold for all it's worth. Don't forget that it's got on to the chest, and will require weeks of feeding up and nursing."
"No; nothing beats a personal interview. We've had enough of the town. We'll head back tomorrow, and you need to make the most of your cold. Don't forget that it’s settled in your chest and will need weeks of recovery and care."
"All right. I think I can manage Mrs. Merrit."
"Okay. I think I can handle Mrs. Merrit."
But Mrs. Merrit was more obstinate than he had thought. She was very sorry to hear of Mr. Saunders's cold, and how he lay awake all night in London coughing; very sorry indeed. She'd change his room for him gladly, and get the south room aired. And wouldn't he have a basin of hot bread and milk last thing at night? But she was afraid that she would have to leave at the end of the month.
But Mrs. Merrit was more stubborn than he had expected. She was really sorry to hear about Mr. Saunders's cold and how he had been up all night in London coughing; truly very sorry. She'd gladly change his room for him and make sure the south room was aired out. And wouldn't he like a bowl of hot bread and milk at bedtime? But she was worried that she would have to leave at the end of the month.
"Try her with an increase of salary," was the advice of Eustace.
"Give her a raise," was Eustace's advice.
It was no use. Mrs. Merrit was obdurate, though she knew of a Mrs. Handyside who had been housekeeper to Lord Gargrave, who might be glad to come at the salary mentioned.
It was pointless. Mrs. Merrit was stubborn, even though she knew a Mrs. Handyside who had worked as a housekeeper for Lord Gargrave and might be happy to come at the salary mentioned.
"What's the matter with the servants, Morton?" asked Eustace that evening when he brought the coffee into the library. "What's all this about Mrs. Merrit wanting to leave?"
"What's going on with the staff, Morton?" asked Eustace that evening when he brought the coffee into the library. "What's this about Mrs. Merrit wanting to leave?"
"If you please, sir, I was going to mention it myself. I have a confession to make, sir. When I found your note asking me to open that desk and take out the box with the rat, I broke the lock as you told me, and was glad to do it, because I could hear the animal in the box making a great noise, and I thought it wanted food. So I took out the box, sir, and got a cage, and was going to transfer it, when the animal got away."
"If you don’t mind, sir, I was going to bring it up myself. I have something to confess, sir. When I found your note asking me to open that desk and take out the box with the rat, I broke the lock like you said, and I was happy to do it because I could hear the animal in the box making a lot of noise, and I thought it needed food. So, I took out the box, sir, and got a cage, and was about to transfer it when the animal got away."
"What in the world are you talking about? I never wrote any such note."
"What on earth are you talking about? I never wrote any note like that."
"Excuse me, sir, it was the note I picked up here on the floor on the day you and Mr. Saunders left. I have it in my pocket now."
"Excuse me, sir, it was the note I found here on the floor the day you and Mr. Saunders left. I have it in my pocket now."
It certainly seemed to be in Eustace's handwriting. It was written in pencil, and began somewhat abruptly.
It definitely looked like it was in Eustace's handwriting. It was written in pencil and started off rather abruptly.
"Get a hammer, Morton," he read, "or some other tool, and break open the lock in the old desk in the library. Take out the box that is inside. You need not do anything else. The lid is already open. Eustace Borlsover."
"Get a hammer, Morton," he read, "or another tool, and break open the lock on the old desk in the library. Take out the box that's inside. You don't need to do anything else. The lid is already open. Eustace Borlsover."
"And you opened the desk?"
"And you opened the drawer?"
"Yes, sir; and as I was getting the cage ready the animal hopped out."
"Yes, sir; and while I was getting the cage ready, the animal jumped out."
"What animal?"
"What animal is that?"
"The animal inside the box, sir."
"The animal in the box, sir."
"What did it look like?"
"What did it look like?"
"Well, sir, I couldn't tell you," said Morton nervously; "my back was turned, and it was halfway down the room when I looked up."
"Well, I can't say, sir," Morton said nervously; "I had my back turned, and it was halfway down the room when I glanced up."
"What was its color?" asked Saunders; "black?"
"What color was it?" asked Saunders. "Black?"
"Oh, no, sir, a grayish white. It crept along in a very funny way, sir. I don't think it had a tail."
"Oh, no, sir, a grayish white. It moved in a really strange way, sir. I don't think it had a tail."
"What did you do then?"
"What did you do next?"
"I tried to catch it, but it was no use. So I set the rat-traps and kept the library shut. Then that girl Emma Laidlaw left the door open when she was cleaning, and I think it must have escaped."
"I tried to catch it, but it didn’t work. So I set the rat traps and kept the library closed. Then that girl Emma Laidlaw left the door open while she was cleaning, and I think it must have gotten away."
"And you think it was the animal that's been frightening the maids?"
"And you think it was the animal that's been scaring the maids?"
"Well, no, sir, not quite. They said it was—you'll excuse me, sir—a hand that they saw. Emma trod on it once at the bottom of the stairs. She thought then it was a half-frozen toad, only white. And then Parfit was washing up the dishes in the scullery. She wasn't thinking about anything in particular. It was close on dusk. She took her hands out of the water and was drying them absent-minded like on the roller towel, when she found that she was drying someone else's hand as well, only colder than hers."
"Well, no, sir, not exactly. They said it was—you’ll have to excuse me, sir—a hand that they saw. Emma stepped on it once at the bottom of the stairs. At first, she thought it was a half-frozen toad, but it was white. Then Parfit was washing the dishes in the scullery. She wasn't really thinking about anything in particular. It was almost dusk. She pulled her hands out of the water and was drying them absent-mindedly on the roller towel when she realized she was drying someone else's hand too, but it was colder than hers."
"What nonsense!" exclaimed Saunders.
"What nonsense!" shouted Saunders.
"Exactly, sir; that's what I told her; but we couldn't get her to stop."
"Exactly, sir; that's what I told her; but we couldn't make her stop."
"You don't believe all this?" said Eustace, turning suddenly towards the butler.
"You don't believe any of this?" Eustace asked, suddenly turning to the butler.
"Me, sir? Oh, no, sir! I've not seen anything."
"Me, sir? Oh no, sir! I haven't seen anything."
"Nor heard anything?"
"Or heard anything?"
"Well, sir, if you must know, the bells do ring at odd times, and there's nobody there when we go; and when we go round to draw the blinds of a night, as often as not somebody's been there before us. But as I says to Mrs. Merrit, a young monkey might do wonderful things, and we all know that Mr. Borlsover has had some strange animals about the place."
"Well, sir, if you really want to know, the bells do ring at odd times, and there’s no one around when we arrive; and when we go to close the blinds at night, just as often someone’s been there before us. But as I told Mrs. Merrit, a young monkey could do amazing things, and we all know that Mr. Borlsover has had some unusual animals around here."
"Very well, Morton, that will do."
"Alright, Morton, that will be enough."
"What do you make of it?" asked Saunders when they were alone. "I mean of the letter he said you wrote."
"What do you think about it?" asked Saunders when they were alone. "I mean about the letter he said you wrote."
"Oh, that's simple enough," said Eustace. "See the paper it's written on? I stopped using that years ago, but there were a few odd sheets and envelopes left in the old desk. We never fastened up the lid of the box before locking it in. The hand got out, found a pencil, wrote this note, and shoved it through a crack on to the floor where Morton found it. That's plain as daylight."
"Oh, that's easy to figure out," said Eustace. "You see the paper it’s written on? I stopped using that stuff years ago, but there were a few random sheets and envelopes left in the old desk. We never sealed the lid of the box before locking it up. The hand got out, found a pencil, wrote this note, and slipped it through a crack onto the floor where Morton found it. That’s as clear as day."
"But the hand couldn't write?"
"But the hand can't write?"
"Couldn't it? You've not seen it do the things I've seen," and he told Saunders more of what had happened at Eastbourne.
"Couldn’t it? You haven’t seen it do the things I’ve seen," and he told Saunders more about what had happened at Eastbourne.
"Well," said Saunders, "in that case we have at least an explanation of the legacy. It was the hand which wrote unknown to your uncle that letter to your solicitor, bequeathing itself to you. Your uncle had no more to do with that request than I. In fact, it would seem that he had some idea of this automatic writing, and feared it."
"Well," said Saunders, "in that case, we at least have an explanation for the inheritance. It was the hand that wrote that letter to your lawyer, leaving everything to you, without your uncle knowing. Your uncle had nothing to do with that request, just like I didn’t. In fact, it seems that he had some awareness of this automatic writing and was afraid of it."
"Then if it's not my uncle, what is it?"
"Then if it's not my uncle, what is it?"
"I suppose some people might say that a disembodied spirit had got your uncle to educate and prepare a little body for it. Now it's got into that little body and is off on its own."
"I guess some people might say that a disembodied spirit got your uncle to teach and ready a little body for it. Now it’s taken over that little body and is off on its own."
"Well, what are we to do?"
"Well, what are we supposed to do?"
"We'll keep our eyes open," said Saunders, "and try to catch it. If we can't do that, we shall have to wait till the bally clockwork runs down. After all, if it's flesh and blood, it can't live for ever."
"We'll stay alert," said Saunders, "and try to catch it. If we can't do that, we'll have to wait until the damn clock runs out. After all, if it's made of flesh and blood, it can't live forever."
For two days nothing happened. Then Saunders saw it sliding down the banister in the hall. He was taken unawares, and lost a full second before he started in pursuit, only to find that the thing had escaped him. Three days later, Eustace, writing alone in the library at night, saw it sitting on an open book at the other end of the room. The fingers crept over the page, feeling the print as if it were reading; but before he had time to get up from his seat, it had taken the alarm and was pulling itself up the curtains. Eustace watched it grimly as it hung on to the cornice with three fingers, flicking thumb and forefinger at him in an expression of scornful derision.
For two days nothing happened. Then Saunders saw it sliding down the banister in the hallway. He was caught off guard and lost a full second before he started chasing it, only to find that the thing had gotten away. Three days later, Eustace, writing alone in the library at night, saw it sitting on an open book at the far end of the room. Its fingers moved over the page, feeling the print as if it were reading; but before he could get up from his seat, it got spooked and started climbing up the curtains. Eustace watched it grimly as it hung onto the cornice with three fingers, flicking its thumb and forefinger at him in a gesture of scornful mockery.
"I know what I'll do," he said. "If I only get it into the open I'll set the dogs on to it."
"I know what I'll do," he said. "If I can just get it out in the open, I'll let the dogs loose on it."
He spoke to Saunders of the suggestion.
He mentioned the suggestion to Saunders.
"It's jolly good idea," he said; "only we won't wait till we find it out of doors. We'll get the dogs. There are the two terriers and the under-keeper's Irish mongrel that's on to rats like a flash. Your spaniel has not got spirit enough for this sort of game." They brought the dogs into the house, and the keeper's Irish mongrel chewed up the slippers, and the terriers tripped up Morton as he waited at table; but all three were welcome. Even false security is better than no security at all.
"It's a great idea," he said; "but we won't wait until we find it outside. We'll get the dogs. We have the two terriers and the under-keeper's Irish mix that’s quick on rats. Your spaniel just doesn't have the energy for this kind of game." They brought the dogs inside, and the keeper's Irish mix chewed up the slippers, while the terriers tripped Morton as he stood at the table; but all three were welcome. Even a bit of false security is better than no security at all.
For a fortnight nothing happened. Then the hand was caught, not by the dogs, but by Mrs. Merrit's gray parrot. The bird was in the habit of periodically removing the pins that kept its seed and water tins in place, and of escaping through the holes in the side of the cage. When once at liberty Peter would show no inclination to return, and would often be about the house for days. Now, after six consecutive weeks of captivity, Peter had again discovered a new means of unloosing his bolts and was at large, exploring the tapestried forests of the curtains and singing songs in praise of liberty from cornice and picture rail.
For two weeks, nothing happened. Then the hand was caught, not by the dogs, but by Mrs. Merrit's gray parrot. The bird usually had a habit of periodically removing the pins that held its food and water bowls in place and escaping through the holes in the side of the cage. Once free, Peter would have no interest in coming back and would often roam around the house for days. Now, after six weeks of being locked up, Peter had found a new way to unfasten his bolts and was out, exploring the fabric-covered forests of the curtains and singing songs celebrating freedom from the cornice and picture rail.
"It's no use your trying to catch him," said Eustace to Mrs. Merrit, as she came into the study one afternoon towards dusk with a step-ladder. "You'd much better leave Peter alone. Starve him into surrender, Mrs. Merrit, and don't leave bananas and seed about for him to peck at when he fancies he's hungry. You're far too softhearted."
"It's pointless to try to catch him," Eustace said to Mrs. Merrit as she walked into the study one evening with a step ladder. "You should just leave Peter alone. Starve him until he gives in, Mrs. Merrit, and don’t leave bananas and seeds lying around for him to snack on whenever he thinks he's hungry. You're way too soft-hearted."
"Well, sir, I see he's right out of reach now on that picture rail, so if you wouldn't mind closing the door, sir, when you leave the room, I'll bring his cage in to-night and put some meat inside it. He's that fond of meat, though it does make him pull out his feathers to suck the quills. They do say that if you cook—"
"Well, sir, I see he's just out of reach now on that picture rail, so if you wouldn't mind closing the door when you leave the room, I'll bring his cage in tonight and put some meat inside it. He's really into meat, although it does make him pull out his feathers to suck the quills. They do say that if you cook—"
"Never mind, Mrs. Merrit," said Eustace, who was busy writing. "That will do; I'll keep an eye on the bird."
"Don't worry about it, Mrs. Merrit," Eustace said, focused on his writing. "That's enough; I'll watch the bird."
There was silence in the room, unbroken but for the continuous whisper of his pen.
There was silence in the room, interrupted only by the constant whisper of his pen.
"Scratch poor Peter," said the bird. "Scratch poor old Peter!"
"Scratch poor Peter," said the bird. "Scratch poor old Peter!"
"Be quiet, you beastly bird!"
"Be quiet, you noisy bird!"
"Poor old Peter! Scratch poor Peter, do."
"Poor old Peter! Go on, give poor Peter a scratch."
"I'm more likely to wring your neck if I get hold of you." He looked up at the picture rail, and there was the hand holding on to a hook with three fingers, and slowly scratching the head of the parrot with the fourth. Eustace ran to the bell and pressed it hard; then across to the window, which he closed with a bang. Frightened by the noise the parrot shook its wings preparatory to flight, and as it did so the fingers of the hand got hold of it by the throat. There was a shrill scream from Peter as he fluttered across the room, wheeling round in circles that ever descended, borne down under the weight that clung to him. The bird dropped at last quite suddenly, and Eustace saw fingers and feathers rolled into an inextricable mass on the floor. The struggle abruptly ceased as finger and thumb squeezed the neck; the bird's eyes rolled up to show the whites, and there was a faint, half-choked gurgle. But before the fingers had time to loose their hold, Eustace had them in his own.
"I'm more likely to snap your neck if I get my hands on you." He looked up at the picture rail, and there was a hand gripping a hook with three fingers, slowly scratching the parrot's head with the fourth. Eustace dashed to the bell and pressed it hard; then he raced across to the window, which he slammed shut. Startled by the noise, the parrot flapped its wings, preparing to take off, and as it did, the fingers of the hand grabbed it by the throat. Peter let out a high-pitched scream as he fluttered across the room, spinning in circles that spiraled downwards, weighed down by the grip on him. Finally, the bird dropped suddenly, and Eustace saw fingers and feathers tangled together on the floor. The struggle suddenly stopped as the finger and thumb squeezed the neck; the bird's eyes rolled back, showing the whites, and it let out a soft, half-choked gurgle. But before the fingers had a chance to release their grip, Eustace had them in his own.
"Send Mr. Saunders here at once," he said to the maid who came in answer to the bell. "Tell him I want him immediately."
"Send Mr. Saunders here right away," he said to the maid who came in response to the bell. "Let him know I need him immediately."
Then he went with the hand to the fire. There was a ragged gash across the back where the bird's beak had torn it, but no blood oozed from the wound. He noticed with disgust that the nails had grown long and discolored.
Then he put his hand near the fire. There was a jagged cut across the back where the bird's beak had ripped it, but no blood was coming from the wound. He noticed with disgust that his nails had grown long and discolored.
"I'll burn the beastly thing," he said. But he could not burn it. He tried to throw it into the flames, but his own hands, as if restrained by some old primitive feeling, would not let him. And so Saunders found him pale and irresolute, with the hand still clasped tightly in his fingers.
"I'll burn the horrible thing," he said. But he couldn't burn it. He tried to toss it into the flames, but his own hands, as if held back by some old instinct, wouldn't let him. And so Saunders found him pale and uncertain, with the object still tightly gripped in his fingers.
"I've got it at last," he said in a tone of triumph.
"I finally have it," he said triumphantly.
"Good; let's have a look at it."
"Alright, let’s check it out."
"Not when it's loose. Get me some nails and a hammer and a board of some sort."
"Not when it's loose. Bring me some nails, a hammer, and a piece of wood."
"Can you hold it all right?"
"Are you able to hold it all okay?"
"Yes, the thing's quite limp; tired out with throttling poor old Peter, I should say."
"Yeah, it's pretty limp; I’d say it’s worn out from choking poor old Peter."
"And now," said Saunders when he returned with the things, "what are we going to do?"
"And now," said Saunders when he came back with the stuff, "what are we going to do?"
"Drive a nail through it first, so that it can't get away; then we can take our time over examining it."
"First, drive a nail through it so it can't escape; then we can take our time looking it over."
"Do it yourself," said Saunders. "I don't mind helping you with guinea-pigs occasionally when there's something to be learned; partly because I don't fear a guinea-pig's revenge. This thing's different."
"Do it yourself," Saunders said. "I don’t mind helping you with guinea pigs sometimes when there’s something to learn; partly because I’m not afraid of a guinea pig’s revenge. This situation is different."
"All right, you miserable skunk. I won't forget the way you've stood by me."
"Okay, you lousy jerk. I won't forget how you supported me."
He took up a nail, and before Saunders had realised what he was doing had driven it through the hand, deep into the board.
He picked up a nail, and before Saunders realized what he was doing, he drove it through his hand, deep into the board.
"Oh, my aunt," he giggled hysterically, "look at it now," for the hand was writhing in agonized contortions, squirming and wriggling upon the nail like a worm upon the hook.
"Oh, my aunt," he laughed uncontrollably, "look at it now," because the hand was twisting in painful contortions, squirming and wriggling on the nail like a worm on a hook.
"Well," said Saunders, "you've done it now. I'll leave you to examine it."
"Well," said Saunders, "you've really done it now. I'll let you check it out."
"Don't go, in heaven's name. Cover it up, man, cover it up! Shove a cloth over it! Here!" and he pulled off the antimacassar from the back of a chair and wrapped the board in it. "Now get the keys from my pocket and open the safe. Chuck the other things out. Oh, Lord, it's getting itself into frightful knots! and open it quick!" He threw the thing in and banged the door.
"Don't leave, for heaven's sake. Cover it up, man, cover it up! Throw a cloth over it! Here!" He yanked the antimacassar off the back of a chair and wrapped the board in it. "Now grab the keys from my pocket and open the safe. Get rid of the other stuff. Oh, man, it’s getting all tangled up! Open it fast!" He tossed the item in and slammed the door.
"We'll keep it there till it dies," he said. "May I burn in hell if I ever open the door of that safe again."
"We'll leave it there until it’s dead," he said. "I swear I'll go to hell if I ever open that safe again."
Mrs. Merrit departed at the end of the month. Her successor certainly was more successful in the management of the servants. Early in her rule she declared that she would stand no nonsense, and gossip soon withered and died. Eustace Borlsover went back to his old way of life. Old habits crept over and covered his new experience. He was, if anything, less morose, and showed a greater inclination to take his natural part in country society.
Mrs. Merrit left at the end of the month. Her replacement was definitely better at managing the staff. Early on, she made it clear that she wouldn’t tolerate any nonsense, and the gossip quickly faded away. Eustace Borlsover returned to his old lifestyle. Familiar habits returned and overshadowed his new experiences. If anything, he was less gloomy and more willing to engage in country society.
"I shouldn't be surprised if he marries one of these days," said Saunders. "Well, I'm in no hurry for such an event. I know Eustace far too well for the future Mrs. Borlsover to like me. It will be the same old story again: a long friendship slowly made—marriage—and a long friendship quickly forgotten."
"I wouldn't be surprised if he gets married one of these days," said Saunders. "Well, I’m not in a rush for that to happen. I know Eustace too well for the future Mrs. Borlsover to be a fan of mine. It’ll be the same old story: a long friendship that slowly develops—marriage—then a long friendship that’s quickly forgotten."
IV
But Eustace Borlsover did not follow the advice of his uncle and marry. He was too fond of old slippers and tobacco. The cooking, too, under Mrs. Handyside's management was excellent, and she seemed, too, to have a heaven-sent faculty in knowing when to stop dusting.
But Eustace Borlsover didn't take his uncle's advice and get married. He loved his old slippers and tobacco too much. Plus, the cooking was fantastic under Mrs. Handyside's care, and she also seemed to have a natural talent for knowing when to stop dusting.
Little by little the old life resumed its old power. Then came the burglary. The men, it was said, broke into the house by way of the conservatory. It was really little more than an attempt, for they only succeeded in carrying away a few pieces of plate from the pantry. The safe in the study was certainly found open and empty, but, as Mr. Borlsover informed the police inspector, he had kept nothing of value in it during the last six months.
Slowly but surely, life began to regain its normalcy. Then came the break-in. People said the men got into the house through the conservatory. It was more of an attempt than anything, as they only managed to steal a few pieces of silver from the pantry. The safe in the study was definitely left open and empty, but, as Mr. Borlsover told the police inspector, he hadn't stored anything valuable in it for the past six months.
"Then you're lucky in getting off so easily, sir," the man replied. "By the way they have gone about their business, I should say they were experienced cracksmen. They must have caught the alarm when they were just beginning their evening's work."
"Then you're lucky to get away so easily, sir," the man replied. "From the way they've gone about their business, I'd say they were experienced thieves. They must have heard the alarm right when they were starting their evening's work."
"Yes," said Eustace, "I suppose I am lucky."
"Yeah," said Eustace, "I guess I'm lucky."
"I've no doubt," said the inspector, "that we shall be able to trace the men. I've said that they must have been old hands at the game. The way they got in and opened the safe shows that. But there's one little thing that puzzles me. One of them was careless enough not to wear gloves, and I'm bothered if I know what he was trying to do. I've traced his finger-marks on the new varnish on the window sashes in every one of the downstairs rooms. They are very distinct ones too."
"I have no doubt," said the inspector, "that we will be able to track down the men. I've mentioned that they must be experienced at this. The way they got in and opened the safe proves it. But there's one small detail that confuses me. One of them was careless enough not to wear gloves, and I can't figure out what he was trying to accomplish. I’ve found his fingerprints on the new varnish on the window sashes in every one of the downstairs rooms. They are quite distinct, too."
"Right hand or left, or both?" asked Eustace.
"Right hand or left, or both?" Eustace asked.
"Oh, right every time. That's the funny thing. He must have been a foolhardy fellow, and I rather think it was him that wrote that." He took out a slip of paper from his pocket. "That's what he wrote, sir. 'I've got out, Eustace Borlsover, but I'll be back before long.' Some gaol bird just escaped, I suppose. It will make it all the easier for us to trace him. Do you know the writing, sir?"
"Oh, right every time. That’s the funny thing. He must have been a reckless guy, and I really think he was the one who wrote this." He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "This is what he wrote, sir. 'I've gotten out, Eustace Borlsover, but I'll be back before long.' Some jailbird must have just escaped, I guess. It will make it easier for us to track him down. Do you recognize the handwriting, sir?"
"No," said Eustace; "it's not the writing of anyone I know."
"No," Eustace said, "it's not written by anyone I know."
"I'm not going to stay here any longer," said Eustace to Saunders at luncheon. "I've got on far better during the last six months than ever I expected, but I'm not going to run the risk of seeing that thing again. I shall go up to town this afternoon. Get Morton to put my things together, and join me with the car at Brighton on the day after to-morrow. And bring the proofs of those two papers with you. We'll run over them together."
"I'm not staying here any longer," Eustace said to Saunders at lunch. "I've been doing much better over the last six months than I ever expected, but I’m not taking the chance of seeing that thing again. I'm heading to the city this afternoon. Have Morton pack my stuff, and meet me with the car in Brighton the day after tomorrow. And bring the proofs of those two papers with you. We'll go over them together."
"How long are you going to be away?"
"How long will you be gone?"
"I can't say for certain, but be prepared to stay for some time. We've stuck to work pretty closely through the summer, and I for one need a holiday. I'll engage the rooms at Brighton. You'll find it best to break the journey at Hitchin. I'll wire to you there at the Crown to tell you the Brighton address."
"I can't say for sure, but get ready to stay for a while. We've been working hard all summer, and I definitely need a break. I'll book the rooms in Brighton. It’s best to stop at Hitchin on the way. I'll send you a message there at the Crown with the Brighton address."
The house he chose at Brighton was in a terrace. He had been there before. It was kept by his old college gyp, a man of discreet silence, who was admirably partnered by an excellent cook. The rooms were on the first floor. The two bedrooms were at the back, and opened out of each other. "Saunders can have the smaller one, though it is the only one with a fireplace," he said. "I'll stick to the larger of the two, since it's got a bathroom adjoining. I wonder what time he'll arrive with the car."
The house he picked in Brighton was part of a row. He had been there before. It was run by his old college manager, a man of few words, who was well complemented by a great cook. The rooms were on the first floor. The two bedrooms were at the back and opened into each other. "Saunders can take the smaller one, even though it's the only one with a fireplace," he said. "I'll take the bigger one since it has a bathroom attached. I wonder what time he'll show up with the car."
Saunders came about seven, cold and cross and dirty. "We'll light the fire in the dining-room," said Eustace, "and get Prince to unpack some of the things while we are at dinner. What were the roads like?"
Saunders arrived around seven, chilly, grumpy, and dirty. "We'll light the fire in the dining room," Eustace said, "and have Prince unpack some of the stuff while we eat dinner. What were the roads like?"
"Rotten; swimming with mud, and a beastly cold wind against us all day. And this is July. Dear old England!"
"Rotten; stuck in the mud with a freezing cold wind blowing against us all day. And this is July. Good old England!"
"Yes," said Eustace, "I think we might do worse than leave dear old England for a few months."
"Yeah," Eustace said, "I think we could do worse than leave good old England for a few months."
They turned in soon after twelve.
They went to bed shortly after midnight.
"You oughtn't to feel cold, Saunders," said Eustace, "when you can afford to sport a great cat-skin lined coat like this. You do yourself very well, all things considered. Look at those gloves, for instance. Who could possibly feel cold when wearing them?"
"You shouldn't feel cold, Saunders," Eustace said, "when you can afford to wear a fancy coat lined with cat fur like this. You treat yourself pretty well, all things considered. Just look at those gloves, for example. Who could possibly feel cold while wearing those?"
"They are far too clumsy though for driving. Try them on and see," and he tossed them through the door on to Eustace's bed, and went on with his unpacking. A minute later he heard a shrill cry of terror. "Oh, Lord," he heard, "it's in the glove! Quick, Saunders, quick!" Then came a smacking thud. Eustace had thrown it from him. "I've chucked it into the bathroom," he gasped, "it's hit the wall and fallen into the bath. Come now if you want to help." Saunders, with a lighted candle in his hand, looked over the edge of the bath. There it was, old and maimed, dumb and blind, with a ragged hole in the middle, crawling, staggering, trying to creep up the slippery sides, only to fall back helpless.
"They're way too clumsy for driving, though. Try them on and see," he said, tossing them onto Eustace's bed and continuing with his unpacking. A minute later, he heard a shrill scream of panic. "Oh no," he heard, "it's in the glove! Quick, Saunders, quick!" Then there was a loud thud. Eustace had thrown it away from him. "I threw it into the bathroom," he panted, "it hit the wall and fell into the tub. Come on if you want to help." Saunders, holding a lit candle, peered over the edge of the tub. There it was, old and damaged, deaf and blind, with a ragged hole in the middle, crawling, staggering, trying to climb the slippery sides, only to fall back down helplessly.
"Stay there," said Saunders. "I'll empty a collar box or something, and we'll jam it in. It can't get out while I'm away."
"Stay put," said Saunders. "I'll clear out a collar box or something, and we can shove it in there. It won't be able to get out while I'm gone."
"Yes, it can," shouted Eustace. "It's getting out now. It's climbing up the plug chain. No, you brute, you filthy brute, you don't! Come back, Saunders, it's getting away from me. I can't hold it; it's all slippery. Curse its claw! Shut the window, you idiot! The top too, as well as the bottom. You utter idiot! It's got out!" There was the sound of something dropping on to the hard flagstones below, and Eustace fell back fainting.
"Yes, it can!" shouted Eustace. "It's getting out now. It's climbing up the drain chain. No, you monster, you filthy monster, don’t! Come back, Saunders, it’s getting away from me. I can’t hold it; it’s so slippery. Curse its claw! Shut the window, you fool! The top too, as well as the bottom. You complete idiot! It’s gotten out!" There was the sound of something dropping onto the hard stone below, and Eustace collapsed, fainting.
For a fortnight he was ill.
For two weeks, he was sick.
"I don't know what to make of it," the doctor said to Saunders. "I can only suppose that Mr. Borlsover has suffered some great emotional shock. You had better let me send someone to help you nurse him. And by all means indulge that whim of his never to be left alone in the dark. I would keep a light burning all night if I were you. But he must have more fresh air. It's perfectly absurd this hatred of open windows."
"I’m not sure what to think about it," the doctor said to Saunders. "I can only assume that Mr. Borlsover has gone through some intense emotional distress. You should let me send someone to assist you in taking care of him. And do make sure to cater to his wish never to be left alone in the dark. I would keep a light on all night if I were you. But he needs more fresh air. It’s completely ridiculous this aversion to open windows."
Eustace, however, would have no one with him but Saunders. "I don't want the other men," he said. "They'd smuggle it in somehow. I know they would."
Eustace, however, only wanted Saunders with him. "I don’t want the other guys," he said. "They’d find a way to sneak it in. I just know it."
"Don't worry about it, old chap. This sort of thing can't go on indefinitely. You know I saw it this time as well as you. It wasn't half so active. It won't go on living much longer, especially after that fall. I heard it hit the flags myself. As soon as you're a bit stronger we'll leave this place; not bag and baggage, but with only the clothes on our backs, so that it won't be able to hide anywhere. We'll escape it that way. We won't give any address, and we won't have any parcels sent after us. Cheer up, Eustace! You'll be well enough to leave in a day or two. The doctor says I can take you out in a chair to-morrow."
"Don't worry about it, buddy. This kind of thing can't go on forever. You know I saw it this time just like you did. It wasn't nearly as active. It won't be around much longer, especially after that fall. I heard it hit the ground myself. As soon as you're feeling a bit stronger, we'll leave this place; not with everything we own but just the clothes on our backs, so it won't be able to hide anywhere. We'll get away that way. We won't give out any address, and we won't have any packages sent to us. Cheer up, Eustace! You'll be well enough to leave in a day or two. The doctor says I can take you out in a chair tomorrow."
"What have I done?" asked Eustace. "Why does it come after me? I'm no worse than other men. I'm no worse than you, Saunders; you know I'm not. It was you who were at the bottom of that dirty business in San Diego, and that was fifteen years ago."
"What have I done?" Eustace asked. "Why is it coming after me? I'm no worse than anyone else. I'm no worse than you, Saunders; you know I'm not. It was you who was behind that shady deal in San Diego, and that was fifteen years ago."
"It's not that, of course," said Saunders. "We are in the twentieth century, and even the parsons have dropped the idea of your old sins finding you out. Before you caught the hand in the library it was filled with pure malevolence—to you and all mankind. After you spiked it through with that nail it naturally forgot about other people, and concentrated its attention on you. It was shut up in the safe, you know, for nearly six months. That gives plenty of time for thinking of revenge."
"It's not like that at all," said Saunders. "We're in the twentieth century now, and even the ministers have let go of the idea that your old sins will catch up with you. Before you caught the hand in the library, it was filled with pure hatred—toward you and everyone else. After you nailed it down, it naturally stopped caring about other people and focused solely on you. It was locked in the safe, you know, for almost six months. That’s plenty of time to think about getting back at you."
Eustace Borlsover would not leave his room, but he thought that there might be something in Saunders's suggestion to leave Brighton without notice. He began rapidly to regain his strength.
Eustace Borlsover wouldn’t leave his room, but he considered that there might be something to Saunders’s idea of leaving Brighton without telling anyone. He started to quickly regain his strength.
"We'll go on the first of September," he said.
"We'll go on September first," he said.
The evening of August 31st was oppressively warm. Though at midday the windows had been wide open, they had been shut an hour or so before dusk. Mrs. Prince had long since ceased to wonder at the strange habits of the gentlemen on the first floor. Soon after their arrival she had been told to take down the heavy window curtains in the two bedrooms, and day by day the rooms had seemed to grow more bare. Nothing was left lying about.
The evening of August 31st was uncomfortably warm. Although the windows had been wide open during the day, they had been closed an hour or so before dusk. Mrs. Prince had stopped being curious about the odd habits of the gentlemen on the first floor a long time ago. Shortly after they arrived, she was instructed to remove the heavy window curtains in the two bedrooms, and day by day, the rooms seemed to become more empty. There was nothing left lying around.
"Mr. Borlsover doesn't like to have any place where dirt can collect," Saunders had said as an excuse. "He likes to see into all the corners of the room."
"Mr. Borlsover doesn’t like to have any spots where dirt can build up," Saunders had said as an excuse. "He likes to be able to see into every corner of the room."
"Couldn't I open the window just a little?" he said to Eustace that evening. "We're simply roasting in here, you know."
"Can I just open the window a bit?" he asked Eustace that evening. "We're really baking in here, you know."
"No, leave well alone. We're not a couple of boarding-school misses fresh from a course of hygiene lectures. Get the chessboard out."
"No, leave it be. We're not a couple of prep school girls just back from hygiene class. Bring out the chessboard."
They sat down and played. At ten o'clock Mrs. Prince came to the door with a note. "I am sorry I didn't bring it before," she said, "but it was left in the letter-box."
They sat down and started playing. At ten o'clock, Mrs. Prince came to the door with a note. "I'm sorry I didn't bring it sooner," she said, "but it was left in the mailbox."
"Open it, Saunders, and see if it wants answering."
"Open it, Saunders, and check if it needs a response."
It was very brief. There was neither address nor signature.
It was very short. There was no address or signature.
"Will eleven o'clock to-night be suitable for our last appointment?"
"Is eleven o'clock tonight good for our final meeting?"
"Who is it from?" asked Borlsover.
"Who is it from?" Borlsover asked.
"It was meant for me," said Saunders. "There's no answer, Mrs. Prince," and he put the paper into his pocket. "A dunning letter from a tailor; I suppose he must have got wind of our leaving."
"It was meant for me," Saunders said. "There’s no answer, Mrs. Prince," and he put the letter in his pocket. "A collection letter from a tailor; I guess he must have heard we’re leaving."
It was a clever lie, and Eustace asked no more questions. They went on with their game.
It was a smart lie, and Eustace didn’t ask any more questions. They continued with their game.
On the landing outside Saunders could hear the grandfather's clock whispering the seconds, blurting out the quarter-hours.
On the landing outside, Saunders could hear the grandfather clock quietly ticking away the seconds, chiming at each quarter-hour.
"Check!" said Eustace. The clock struck eleven. At the same time there was a gentle knocking on the door; it seemed to come from the bottom panel.
"Check!" Eustace said. The clock struck eleven. At the same time, there was a gentle knocking on the door; it seemed to come from the bottom panel.
"Who's there?" asked Eustace.
"Who's there?" Eustace asked.
There was no answer.
No response.
"Mrs. Prince, is that you?"
"Is that you, Mrs. Prince?"
"She is up above," said Saunders; "I can hear her walking about the room."
"She's up there," said Saunders; "I can hear her moving around the room."
"Then lock the door; bolt it too. Your move, Saunders."
"Then lock the door; also bolt it. Your turn, Saunders."
While Saunders sat with his eyes on the chessboard, Eustace walked over to the window and examined the fastenings. He did the same in Saunders's room and the bathroom. There were no doors between the three rooms, or he would have shut and locked them too.
While Saunders focused on the chessboard, Eustace went over to the window to check the locks. He did the same in Saunders's room and the bathroom. There were no doors connecting the three rooms, or else he would have shut and locked them too.
"Now, Saunders," he said, "don't stay all night over your move. I've had time to smoke one cigarette already. It's bad to keep an invalid waiting. There's only one possible thing for you to do. What was that?"
"Now, Saunders," he said, "don’t take all night making your move. I’ve already had time to smoke a cigarette. It’s not good to keep someone who's unwell waiting. There’s only one thing you can do. What was it?"
"The ivy blowing against the window. There, it's your move now, Eustace."
"The ivy is swaying against the window. Now it's your turn, Eustace."
"It wasn't the ivy, you idiot. It was someone tapping at the window," and he pulled up the blind. On the outer side of the window, clinging to the sash, was the hand.
"It wasn't the ivy, you fool. It was someone tapping on the window," and he pulled up the blind. Outside the window, clinging to the sash, was a hand.
"What is it that it's holding?"
"What’s it holding?"
"It's a pocket-knife. It's going to try to open the window by pushing back the fastener with the blade."
"It's a pocket knife. It's going to try to open the window by pushing back the latch with the blade."
"Well, let it try," said Eustace. "Those fasteners screw down; they can't be opened that way. Anyhow, we'll close the shutters. It's your move, Saunders. I've played."
"Well, let it try," said Eustace. "Those fasteners screw down; they can't be opened that way. Anyway, we'll close the shutters. It's your move, Saunders. I've played."
But Saunders found it impossible to fix his attention on the game. He could not understand Eustace, who seemed all at once to have lost his fear. "What do you say to some wine?" he asked. "You seem to be taking things coolly, but I don't mind confessing that I'm in a blessed funk."
But Saunders found it impossible to focus on the game. He couldn't understand Eustace, who suddenly seemed to have lost his fear. "How about some wine?" he asked. "You seem to be taking things easy, but I honestly admit that I'm really anxious."
"You've no need to be. There's nothing supernatural about that hand, Saunders. I mean it seems to be governed by the laws of time and space. It's not the sort of thing that vanishes into thin air or slides through oaken doors. And since that's so, I defy it to get in here. We'll leave the place in the morning. I for one have bottomed the depths of fear. Fill your glass, man! The windows are all shuttered, the door is locked and bolted. Pledge me my uncle Adrian! Drink, man! What are you waiting for?"
"You don't need to be. That hand isn’t supernatural, Saunders. It seems to follow the laws of time and space. It’s not the kind of thing that just disappears or slips through solid doors. And since that’s the case, I challenge it to get in here. We’ll leave this place in the morning. I, for one, have faced the depths of fear. Fill your glass, man! All the windows are shut, and the door is locked and bolted. Raise a toast to my uncle Adrian! Drink up, man! What are you waiting for?"
Saunders was standing with his glass half raised. "It can get in," he said hoarsely; "it can get in! We've forgotten. There's the fireplace in my bedroom. It will come down the chimney."
Saunders was standing with his glass half up. "It can get in," he said hoarsely; "it can get in! We've forgotten. There's the fireplace in my bedroom. It will come down the chimney."
"Quick!" said Eustace, as he rushed into the other room; "we haven't a minute to lose. What can we do? Light the fire, Saunders. Give me a match, quick!"
"Quick!" Eustace shouted as he rushed into the other room. "We don't have a minute to waste. What should we do? Light the fire, Saunders. Hand me a match, fast!"
"They must be all in the other room. I'll get them."
"They must all be in the other room. I’ll go get them."
"Hurry, man, for goodness' sake! Look in the bookcase! Look in the bathroom! Here, come and stand here; I'll look."
"Hurry, dude, for crying out loud! Check the bookshelf! Look in the bathroom! Come over here and stand by me; I'll take a look."
"Be quick!" shouted Saunders. "I can hear something!"
" Hurry up!" shouted Saunders. "I can hear something!"
"Then plug a sheet from your bed up the chimney. No, here's a match." He had found one at last that had slipped into a crack in the floor.
"Then shove a sheet from your bed up the chimney. No, here's a match." He had finally found one that had slipped into a crack in the floor.
"Is the fire laid? Good, but it may not burn. I know—the oil from that old reading-lamp and this cotton-wool. Now the match, quick! Pull the sheet away, you fool! We don't want it now."
"Is the fire set? Great, but it might not light. I know—the oil from that old reading lamp and this cotton wool. Now the match, fast! Move the sheet away, you idiot! We don't need it now."
There was a great roar from the grate as the flames shot up. Saunders had been a fraction of a second too late with the sheet. The oil had fallen on to it. It, too, was burning.
There was a loud roar from the fireplace as the flames surged. Saunders had been just a split second too late with the sheet. The oil had spilled onto it. Now, it was burning too.
"The whole place will be on fire!" cried Eustace, as he tried to beat out the flames with a blanket. "It's no good! I can't manage it. You must open the door, Saunders, and get help."
"The whole place is going to burn down!" shouted Eustace, as he attempted to put out the flames with a blanket. "It's not working! I can't handle it. You need to open the door, Saunders, and get help."
Saunders ran to the door and fumbled with the bolts. The key was stiff in the lock.
Saunders rushed to the door and struggled with the bolts. The key was stuck in the lock.
"Hurry!" shouted Eustace; "the whole place is ablaze!"
"Hurry!" shouted Eustace. "The whole place is on fire!"
The key turned in the lock at last. For half a second Saunders stopped to look back. Afterwards he could never be quite sure as to what he had seen, but at the time he thought that something black and charred was creeping slowly, very slowly, from the mass of flames towards Eustace Borlsover. For a moment he thought of returning to his friend, but the noise and the smell of the burning sent him running down the passage crying, "Fire! Fire!" He rushed to the telephone to summon help, and then back to the bathroom—he should have thought of that before—for water. As he burst open the bedroom door there came a scream of terror which ended suddenly, and then the sound of a heavy fall.
The key finally turned in the lock. For half a second, Saunders paused to look back. Later, he could never be completely sure of what he saw, but at that moment, he thought something black and burned was slowly creeping, very slowly, from the flames towards Eustace Borlsover. For a moment, he considered going back to his friend, but the noise and the smell of the fire made him run down the hall shouting, "Fire! Fire!" He dashed to the phone to call for help and then back to the bathroom—he should have thought of that earlier—for water. As he burst through the bedroom door, he heard a terrified scream that abruptly stopped, followed by the sound of a heavy fall.
The Mass of Shadows
By ANATOLE FRANCEBy Anatole France
From Mother of Pearl, by Anatole France. Copyright by John Lane Company. By permission of the publishers.
From Mother of Pearl, by Anatole France. Copyright by John Lane Company. By permission of the publishers.
This tale the sacristan of the church of St. Eulalie at Neuville d'Aumont told me, as we sat under the arbor of the White Horse, one fine summer evening, drinking a bottle of old wine to the health of the dead man, now very much at his ease, whom that very morning he had borne to the grave with full honors, beneath a pall powdered with smart silver tears.
This story was told to me by the sacristan of the St. Eulalie church in Neuville d'Aumont, as we sat under the arbor of the White Horse one beautiful summer evening, drinking a bottle of old wine to toast the health of the deceased, who was now quite at peace, and whom he had laid to rest that very morning with full honors, under a pall sprinkled with shiny silver tears.
"My poor father who is dead" (it is the sacristan who is speaking,) "was in his lifetime a grave-digger. He was of an agreeable disposition, the result, no doubt, of the calling he followed, for it has often been pointed out that people who work in cemeteries are of a jovial turn. Death has no terrors for them; they never give it a thought. I, for instance, monsieur, enter a cemetery at night as little perturbed as though it were the arbor of the White Horse. And if by chance I meet with a ghost, I don't disturb myself in the least about it, for I reflect that he may just as likely have business of his own to attend to as I. I know the habits of the dead, and I know their character. Indeed, so far as that goes, I know things of which the priests themselves are ignorant. If I were to tell you all I have seen, you would be astounded. But a still tongue makes a wise head, and my father, who, all the same, delighted in spinning a yarn, did not disclose a twentieth part of what he knew. To make up for this he often repeated the same stories, and to my knowledge he told the story of Catherine Fontaine at least a hundred times.
"My poor father who has passed away" (it's the sacristan who is speaking), "was a grave-digger during his life. He had a friendly personality, probably because of the job he did, since it's often said that people who work in cemeteries are pretty cheerful. Death doesn’t scare them; they hardly think about it. I, for example, sir, walk into a cemetery at night just as relaxed as if it were the garden of the White Horse. And if I happen to come across a ghost, it doesn’t bother me at all, because I figure he might have his own business to take care of just like I do. I understand the ways of the dead and their nature. In fact, I know things that even the priests don’t. If I were to tell you everything I’ve seen, you’d be amazed. But a quiet tongue shows wisdom, and my father, who enjoyed telling tales, didn’t share even a small fraction of what he knew. To make up for it, he often repeated the same stories, and as far as I know, he told the story of Catherine Fontaine at least a hundred times."
"Catherine Fontaine was an old maid whom he well remembered having seen when he was a mere child. I should not be surprised if there were still, perhaps, three old fellows in the district who could remember having heard folks speak of her, for she was very well known and of excellent reputation, though poor enough. She lived at the corner of the Rue aux Nonnes, in the turret which is still to be seen there, and which formed part of an old half-ruined mansion looking on to the garden of the Ursuline nuns. On that turret can still be traced certain figures and half-obliterated inscriptions. The late curé of St. Eulalie, Monsieur Levasseur, asserted that there are the words in Latin, Love is stronger than death, 'which is to be understood,' so he would add, 'of divine love.'
Catherine Fontaine was an old maid whom he clearly remembered seeing when he was just a child. I wouldn't be surprised if there were still maybe three old men in the area who could recall hearing people talk about her, as she was very well-known and had an excellent reputation, despite being quite poor. She lived at the corner of Rue aux Nonnes, in the turret that's still visible there, which was part of an old, half-ruined mansion overlooking the garden of the Ursuline nuns. On that turret, you can still see certain figures and faded inscriptions. The late priest of St. Eulalie, Monsieur Levasseur, claimed that there are words in Latin, Love is stronger than death, 'which is meant,' he would add, 'to refer to divine love.'
"Catherine Fontaine lived by herself in this tiny apartment. She was a lace-maker. You know, of course, that the lace made in our part of the world was formerly held in high esteem. No one knew anything of her relatives or friends. It was reported that when she was eighteen years of age she had loved the young Chevalier d'Aumont-Cléry, and had been secretly affianced to him. But decent folk didn't believe a word of it, and said it was nothing but a tale concocted because Catherine Fontaine's demeanor was that of a lady rather than that of a working woman, and because, moreover, she possessed beneath her white locks the remains of great beauty. Her expression was sorrowful, and on one finger she wore one of those rings fashioned by the goldsmith into the semblance of two tiny hands clasped together. In former days folks were accustomed to exchange such rings at their betrothal ceremony. I am sure you know the sort of thing I mean.
Catherine Fontaine lived alone in a small apartment. She was a lace-maker. You probably know that the lace made in our area used to be highly regarded. No one knew anything about her family or friends. It was said that when she was eighteen, she had fallen in love with the young Chevalier d'Aumont-Cléry and had secretly been engaged to him. But respectable people didn’t believe it at all, claiming it was just a story made up because Catherine Fontaine carried herself like a lady rather than a working woman, and also because, despite her white hair, she still had traces of great beauty. Her expression was sad, and on one finger, she wore a ring made by the goldsmith that looked like two tiny hands clasped together. People used to exchange such rings during their engagement ceremony. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
"Catherine Fontaine lived a saintly life. She spent a great deal of time in churches, and every morning, whatever might be the weather, she went to assist at the six o'clock Mass at St. Eulalie.
"Catherine Fontaine lived a virtuous life. She spent a lot of time in churches, and every morning, no matter the weather, she attended the six o'clock Mass at St. Eulalie."
"Now one December night, whilst she was in her little chamber, she was awakened by the sound of bells, and nothing doubting that they were ringing for the first Mass, the pious woman dressed herself, and came downstairs and out into the street. The night was so obscure that not even the walls of the houses were visible, and not a ray of light shone from the murky sky. And such was the silence amid this black darkness, that there was not even the sound of a distant dog barking, and a feeling of aloofness from every living creature was perceptible. But Catherine Fontaine knew well every single stone she stepped on, and, as she could have found her way to the church with her eyes shut, she reached without difficulty the corner of the Rue aux Nonnes and the Rue de la Paroisse, where the timbered house stands with the tree of Jesse carved on one of its massive beams. When she reached this spot she perceived that the church doors were open, and that a great light was streaming out from the wax tapers. She resumed her journey, and when she had passed through the porch she found herself in the midst of a vast congregation which entirely filled the church. But she did not recognize any of the worshipers and was surprised to observe that all of these people were dressed in velvets and brocades, with feathers in their hats, and that they wore swords in the fashion of days gone by. Here were gentlemen who carried tall canes with gold knobs, and ladies with lace caps fastened with coronet-shaped combs. Chevaliers of the Order of St. Louis extended their hands to these ladies, who concealed behind their fans painted faces, of which only the powdered brow and the patch at the corner of the eye were visible! All of them proceeded to take their places without the slightest sound, and as they moved neither the sound of their footsteps on the pavement, nor the rustle of their garments could be heard. The lower places were filled with a crowd of young artisans in brown jackets, dimity breeches, and blue stockings, with their arms round the waists of pretty blushing girls who lowered their eyes. Near the holy water stoups peasant women, in scarlet petticoats and laced bodices, sat upon the ground as immovable as domestic animals, whilst young lads, standing up behind them, stared out from wide-open eyes and twirled their hats round and round on their fingers, and all these sorrowful countenances seemed centred irremovably on one and the same thought, at once sweet and sorrowful. On her knees, in her accustomed place, Catherine Fontaine saw the priest advance toward the altar, preceded by two servers. She recognized neither priest nor clerks. The Mass began. It was a silent Mass, during which neither the sound of the moving lips nor the tinkle of the bell was audible. Catherine Fontaine felt that she was under the observation and the influence also of her mysterious neighbor, and when, scarcely turning her head, she stole a glance at him, she recognized the young Chevalier d'Aumont-Cléry, who had once loved her, and who had been dead for five and forty years. She recognized him by a small mark which he had over the left ear, and above all by the shadow which his long black eyelashes cast upon his cheeks. He was dressed in his hunting clothes, scarlet with gold lace, the very clothes he wore that day when he met her in St. Leonard's Wood, begged of her a drink, and stole a kiss. He had preserved his youth and good looks. When he smiled, he still displayed magnificent teeth. Catherine said to him in an undertone:
"On a December night, while she was in her small room, she was awakened by the sound of bells. Thinking they were ringing for the first Mass, the devout woman got dressed, went downstairs, and stepped out into the street. The night was so dark that even the walls of the houses were invisible, and no light shone from the cloudy sky. The silence was so profound amidst this darkness that not even a distant dog barked, and a sense of isolation from all living beings was palpable. But Catherine Fontaine knew every stone she walked on, and since she could have found her way to the church with her eyes closed, she easily reached the corner of Rue aux Nonnes and Rue de la Paroisse, where the timbered house with the tree of Jesse carved on one of its large beams stood. As she arrived at this spot, she noticed the church doors were open, and a bright light was streaming out from the wax candles. She continued on, and once she passed through the porch, she found herself in the midst of a large congregation that completely filled the church. However, she didn’t recognize any of the worshipers and was surprised to see that everyone was dressed in velvets and brocades, with feathers in their hats, and that they wore swords like in days gone by. There were gentlemen carrying tall canes with gold knobs and ladies in lace caps secured with coronet-shaped combs. Knights of the Order of St. Louis extended their hands to these ladies, who hid their painted faces behind fans, with only their powdered foreheads and a patch at the corner of their eyes visible. They all took their places without making a sound, and as they moved, neither the sound of their footsteps nor the rustle of their garments could be heard. The front rows were filled with a group of young artisans in brown jackets, dimity breeches, and blue stockings, with their arms wrapped around the waists of pretty, blushing girls who kept their eyes down. Near the holy water stoups, peasant women in scarlet petticoats and laced bodices sat on the ground as still as domestic animals, while young boys stood behind them, staring wide-eyed and twirling their hats on their fingers. All these sorrowful faces seemed fixed on one single thought, both sweet and melancholic. On her knees, in her usual spot, Catherine Fontaine saw the priest approach the altar, accompanied by two servers. She didn’t recognize either the priest or the clerks. The Mass began. It was a silent Mass, during which neither the sound of lips moving nor the tinkling of a bell was audible. Catherine Fontaine felt as if she were under the watchful gaze and influence of her mysterious neighbor, and when, barely turning her head, she stole a glance at him, she recognized the young Chevalier d’Aumont-Cléry, who had once loved her and who had been dead for forty-five years. She identified him by a small mark above his left ear, and especially by the shadow that his long black eyelashes cast on his cheeks. He wore his hunting outfit, scarlet with gold lace, the same outfit he had on the day he met her in St. Leonard’s Wood, asked her for a drink, and stole a kiss. He had retained his youth and good looks. When he smiled, he still had magnificent teeth. Catherine said to him softly:"
"'Monseigneur, you who were my friend, and to whom in days gone by I gave all that a girl holds most dear, may God keep you in His grace! O, that He would at length inspire me with regret for the sin I committed in yielding to you; for it is a fact that, though my hair is white and I approach my end, I have not yet repented of having loved you. But, dear dead friend and noble seigneur, tell me, who are these folk, habited after the antique fashion, who are here assisting at this silent Mass?'
"'Monseigneur, you who were my friend, and to whom I once gave everything a girl holds most dear, may God keep you in His grace! Oh, that He would finally inspire me with regret for the sin I committed by giving myself to you; for the truth is, even though my hair is gray and I am nearing the end, I still haven't regretted having loved you. But, dear departed friend and noble lord, tell me, who are these people dressed in old-fashioned attire, who are here attending this silent Mass?'"
"The Chevalier d'Aumont-Cléry replied in a voice feebler than a breath, but none the less crystal clear:
"The Chevalier d'Aumont-Cléry replied in a voice weaker than a whisper, but still crystal clear:"
"'Catherine, these men and women are souls from purgatory who have grieved God by sinning as we ourselves sinned through love of the creature, but who are not on that account cast off by God, inasmuch as their sin, like ours, was not deliberate.
"'Catherine, these men and women are souls from purgatory who have displeased God by sinning just as we did out of love for the creature, but they are not rejected by God for that reason, since their sin, like ours, was not intentional.
"'Whilst separated from those whom they loved upon earth, they are purified in the cleansing fires of purgatory, they suffer the pangs of absence, which is for them the most cruel of tortures. They are so unhappy that an angel from heaven takes pity upon their love-torment. By the permission of the Most High, for one hour in the night, he reunites each year lover to loved in their parish church, where they are permitted to assist at the Mass of Shadows, hand clasped in hand. These are the facts. If it has been granted to me to see thee before thy death, Catherine, it is a boon which is bestowed by God's special permission.'
"'While separated from those they loved on earth, they are purified in the cleansing fires of purgatory. They suffer the pangs of absence, which is the most cruel of tortures for them. They are so unhappy that an angel from heaven takes pity on their love torment. By the permission of the Most High, for one hour each year in the night, he reunites each lover with their beloved in their parish church, where they are allowed to attend the Mass of Shadows, hand in hand. These are the facts. If I have been granted the chance to see you before your death, Catherine, it is a blessing given by God's special permission.'"
"And Catherine Fontaine answered him:
"And Catherine Fontaine replied to him:
"'I would die gladly enough, dear, dead lord, if I might recover the beauty that was mine when I gave you to drink in the forest.'
"'I would gladly die, dear, dead lord, if I could get back the beauty I had when I gave you to drink in the forest.'"
"Whilst they thus conversed under their breath, a very old canon was taking the collection and proffering to the worshipers a great copper dish, wherein they let fall, each in his turn, ancient coins which have long since ceased to pass current: écus of six livres, florins, ducats and ducatoons, jacobuses and rose-nobles, and the pieces fell silently into the dish. When at length it was placed before the Chevalier, he dropped into it a louis which made no more sound than had the other pieces of gold and silver.
While they whispered to each other, an elderly canon was collecting donations, offering a large copper dish to the worshipers. Each in turn dropped ancient coins that had long lost their value: écus of six livres, florins, ducats and ducatoons, jacobuses and rose-nobles, and the coins fell quietly into the dish. When it was finally put in front of the Chevalier, he dropped in a louis that made no more noise than the other gold and silver pieces.
"Then the old canon stopped before Catherine Fontaine, who fumbled in her pocket without being able to find a farthing. Then, being unwilling to allow the dish to pass without an offering from herself, she slipped from her finger the ring which the Chevalier had given her the day before his death, and cast it into the copper bowl. As the golden ring fell, a sound like the heavy clang of a bell rang out, and on the stroke of this reverberation the Chevalier, the canon, the celebrant, the servers, the ladies and their cavaliers, the whole assembly vanished utterly; the candles guttered out, and Catherine Fontaine was left alone in the darkness."
"Then the old canon stopped in front of Catherine Fontaine, who searched her pocket but couldn't find a penny. Not wanting to let the dish pass without making an offering, she took off the ring the Chevalier had given her the day before he died and threw it into the copper bowl. As the gold ring fell, it made a sound like a loud bell ringing, and at that moment, the Chevalier, the canon, the celebrant, the servers, the ladies and their partners—everyone—vanished completely; the candles went out, and Catherine Fontaine was left alone in the dark."
Having concluded his narrative after this fashion, the sacristan drank a long draught of wine, remained pensive for a moment, and then resumed his talk in these words:
Having finished his story like this, the sacristan took a long sip of wine, paused to think for a moment, and then continued his conversation with these words:
"I have told you this tale exactly as my father has told it to me over and over again, and I believe that it is authentic, because it agrees in all respects with what I have observed of the manners and customs peculiar to those who have passed away. I have associated a good deal with the dead ever since my childhood, and I know that they are accustomed to return to what they have loved.
"I've shared this story just as my father told it to me countless times, and I trust it's true because it matches everything I've seen about the traditions and habits of those who are no longer here. Since I was a child, I've spent a lot of time with the dead, and I know they tend to come back to the things they once loved."
"It is on this account that the miserly dead wander at night in the neighborhood of the treasures they conceal during their life time. They keep a strict watch over their gold; but the trouble they give themselves, far from being of service to them, turns to their disadvantage; and it is not a rare thing at all to come upon money buried in the ground on digging in a place haunted by a ghost. In the same way deceased husbands come by night to harass their wives who have made a second matrimonial venture, and I could easily name several who have kept a better watch over their wives since death than they ever did while living.
"It's for this reason that greedy spirits roam at night around the treasures they hid during their lives. They vigilantly guard their gold; however, the stress they put themselves through only harms them. It's not uncommon to discover money buried in the ground in places haunted by a ghost. Similarly, deceased husbands return at night to torment their wives who have remarried, and I could easily mention several who have monitored their wives more closely after death than they ever did while they were alive."
"That sort of thing is blameworthy, for in all fairness the dead have no business to stir up jealousies. Still I do but tell you what I have observed myself. It is a matter to take into account if one marries a widow. Besides, the tale I have told you is vouchsafed for in the manner following:
"That kind of thing is wrong because, honestly, the dead shouldn't create jealousy. Still, I’m just sharing what I’ve personally noticed. It's something to consider if you marry a widow. Plus, the story I’ve shared is backed up in this way:
"The morning after that extraordinary night Catherine Fontaine was discovered dead in her chamber. And the beadle attached to St. Eulalie found in the copper bowl used for the collection a gold ring with two clasped hands. Besides, I'm not the kind of man to make jokes. Suppose we order another bottle of wine?..."
"The morning after that incredible night, Catherine Fontaine was found dead in her room. The beadle from St. Eulalie discovered a gold ring with two clasped hands in the copper bowl used for the collection. Besides, I'm not the type to make jokes. How about we order another bottle of wine?..."
What Was It?
By FITZ-JAMES O'BRIENBy Fitz-James O'Brien
It is, I confess, with considerable diffidence, that I approach the strange narrative which I am about to relate. The events which I purpose detailing are of so extraordinary a character that I am quite prepared to meet with an unusual amount of incredulity and scorn. I accept all such beforehand. I have, I trust, the literary courage to face unbelief. I have, after mature consideration resolved to narrate, in as simple and straightforward a manner as I can compass, some facts that passed under my observation, in the month of July last, and which, in the annals of the mysteries of physical science, are wholly unparalleled.
I admit, with some hesitation, that I’m about to share a strange story. The events I want to describe are so extraordinary that I fully expect to encounter a fair amount of skepticism and ridicule. I acknowledge this in advance. I believe I have the literary courage to confront disbelief. After careful thought, I’ve decided to tell, in the simplest and clearest way possible, some facts that I witnessed last July, which are completely unique in the history of physical science.
I live at No. —— Twenty-sixth Street, in New York. The house is in some respects a curious one. It has enjoyed for the last two years the reputation of being haunted. It is a large and stately residence, surrounded by what was once a garden, but which is now only a green enclosure used for bleaching clothes. The dry basin of what has been a fountain, and a few fruit trees ragged and unpruned, indicate that this spot in past days was a pleasant, shady retreat, filled with fruits and flowers and the sweet murmur of waters.
I live at No. —— Twenty-sixth Street in New York. The house is quite interesting in some ways. For the past two years, it has had a reputation for being haunted. It’s a large and impressive home, surrounded by what used to be a garden, but is now just a green space used for drying clothes. The dry basin of what used to be a fountain and a few scraggly, unpruned fruit trees suggest that this area was once a lovely, shady getaway, full of fruits, flowers, and the gentle sound of water.
The house is very spacious. A hall of noble size leads to a large spiral staircase winding through its center, while the various apartments are of imposing dimensions. It was built some fifteen or twenty years since by Mr. A——, the well-known New York merchant, who five years ago threw the commercial world into convulsions by a stupendous bank fraud. Mr. A——, as everyone knows, escaped to Europe, and died not long after, of a broken heart. Almost immediately after the news of his decease reached this country and was verified, the report spread in Twenty-sixth Street that No. —— was haunted. Legal measures had dispossessed the widow of its former owner, and it was inhabited merely by a caretaker and his wife, placed there by the house agent into whose hands it had passed for the purposes of renting or sale. These people declared that they were troubled with unnatural noises. Doors were opened without any visible agency. The remnants of furniture scattered through the various rooms were, during the night, piled one upon the other by unknown hands. Invisible feet passed up and down the stairs in broad daylight, accompanied by the rustle of unseen silk dresses, and the gliding of viewless hands along the massive balusters. The caretaker and his wife declared they would live there no longer. The house agent laughed, dismissed them, and put others in their place. The noises and supernatural manifestations continued. The neighborhood caught up the story, and the house remained untenanted for three years. Several persons negotiated for it; but, somehow, always before the bargain was closed they heard the unpleasant rumors and declined to treat any further.
The house is really spacious. A grand hallway leads to a large spiral staircase that winds through the center, while the various rooms are impressively sized. It was built about fifteen or twenty years ago by Mr. A——, the famous New York merchant, who five years ago shook up the business world with a massive bank fraud. Mr. A——, as everyone knows, fled to Europe and died shortly after from a broken heart. Almost immediately after the news of his death reached this country and was confirmed, reports began circulating on Twenty-sixth Street that No. —— was haunted. Legal actions had taken the house away from the widow of its former owner, and it was only inhabited by a caretaker and his wife, placed there by the real estate agent who was managing it for rental or sale. These people claimed they were disturbed by strange noises. Doors opened on their own without anyone around. The leftover furniture scattered throughout the various rooms was mysteriously piled one on top of the other at night by unseen hands. Invisible footsteps could be heard going up and down the stairs in broad daylight, accompanied by the rustling of unseen silk dresses and the soft brushing of invisible hands along the sturdy banisters. The caretaker and his wife said they wouldn’t stay there any longer. The real estate agent laughed them off, let them go, and put someone else in their place. The noises and supernatural occurrences persisted. The neighborhood picked up the story, and the house remained unoccupied for three years. Several people tried to negotiate for it, but somehow, right before the deal was finalized, they heard the unsettling rumors and chose not to proceed.
It was in this state of things that my landlady, who at that time kept a boarding-house in Bleecker Street, and who wished to move further up town, conceived the bold idea of renting No. —— Twenty-sixth Street. Happening to have in her house rather a plucky and philosophical set of boarders, she laid her scheme before us, stating candidly everything she had heard respecting the ghostly qualities of the establishment to which she wished to remove us. With the exception of two timid persons,—a sea-captain and a returned Californian, who immediately gave notice that they would leave,—all of Mrs. Moffat's guests declared that they would accompany her in her chivalric incursion into the abode of spirits.
It was in this situation that my landlady, who was running a boarding house on Bleecker Street at the time and wanted to move further uptown, came up with the bold idea of renting a place on No. —— Twenty-sixth Street. Since she had a pretty brave and philosophical group of boarders, she shared her plan with us, honestly explaining everything she had heard about the spooky reputation of the place she wanted us to move to. Aside from two nervous individuals—a sea captain and a guy who had just returned from California—who quickly announced they would be leaving, all of Mrs. Moffat's guests said they would join her in her adventurous move to a haunted house.
Our removal was effected in the month of May, and we were charmed with our new residence. The portion of Twenty-sixth Street where our house is situated, between Seventh and Eighth Avenues, is one of the pleasantest localities in New York. The gardens back of the houses, running down nearly to the Hudson, form, in the summer time, a perfect avenue of verdure. The air is pure and invigorating, sweeping, as it does, straight across the river from the Weehawken heights, and even the ragged garden which surrounded the house, although displaying on washing days rather too much clothesline, still gave us a piece of greensward to look at, and a cool retreat in the summer evenings, where we smoked our cigars in the dusk, and watched the fireflies flashing their dark lanterns in the long grass.
We moved in May, and we loved our new home. The part of Twenty-sixth Street where our house is located, between Seventh and Eighth Avenues, is one of the nicest areas in New York. The gardens behind the houses stretch almost down to the Hudson, creating a beautiful green space in the summer. The air is fresh and invigorating, blowing straight across the river from the Weehawken heights. Even the messy garden around our house, which tended to have a lot of clotheslines on wash days, still provided us with a patch of grass to look at and a cool spot on summer evenings where we could smoke our cigars in the twilight and watch the fireflies flickering their little lights in the tall grass.
Of course we had no sooner established ourselves at No. —— than we began to expect ghosts. We absolutely awaited their advent with eagerness. Our dinner conversation was supernatural. One of the boarders, who had purchased Mrs. Crowe's Night Side of Nature for his own private delectation, was regarded as a public enemy by the entire household for not having bought twenty copies. The man led a life of supreme wretchedness while he was reading this volume. A system of espionage was established, of which he was the victim. If he incautiously laid the book down for an instant and left the room, it was immediately seized and read aloud in secret places to a select few. I found myself a person of immense importance, it having leaked out that I was tolerably well versed in the history of supernaturalism, and had once written a story the foundation of which was a ghost. If a table or a wainscot panel happened to warp when we were assembled in the large drawing-room, there was an instant silence, and everyone was prepared for an immediate clanking of chains and a spectral form.
Of course, we had barely settled in at No. —— before we started expecting ghosts. We were actually looking forward to their arrival with excitement. Our dinner conversations turned supernatural. One of the tenants, who bought Mrs. Crowe's Night Side of Nature for his own enjoyment, was considered a public enemy by the entire household for not purchasing twenty copies. This guy lived in complete misery while reading that book. A spying system was put in place, with him as the target. If he carelessly set the book down for a moment and left the room, it would be immediately grabbed and secretly read aloud to a select few. I found myself playing a crucial role because it got out that I was fairly knowledgeable about the history of the supernatural and had once written a story based on a ghost. If a table or a panel warped while we were all gathered in the big drawing room, there would be an immediate hush, and everyone would brace themselves for the sound of chains and a ghostly figure.
After a month of psychological excitement, it was with the utmost dissatisfaction that we were forced to acknowledge that nothing in the remotest degree approaching the supernatural had manifested itself. Once the black butler asseverated that his candle had been blown out by some invisible agency while he was undressing himself for the night; but as I had more than once discovered this colored gentleman in a condition when one candle must have appeared to him like two, thought it possible that, by going a step further in his potations, he might have reversed this phenomenon, and seen no candle at all where he ought to have beheld one.
After a month of intense anticipation, it was with great disappointment that we had to admit that nothing even remotely supernatural had occurred. Once, the black butler claimed that an invisible force had extinguished his candle while he was getting ready for bed; however, I had often found him in a state where one candle would appear to him as two, so I wondered if, by drinking a bit more, he might have reversed that experience and seen no candle at all when he should have seen one.
Things were in this state when an accident took place so awful and inexplicable in its character that my reason fairly reels at the bare memory of the occurrence. It was the tenth of July. After dinner was over I repaired, with my friend Dr. Hammond, to the garden to smoke my evening pipe. Independent of certain mental sympathies which existed between the Doctor and myself, we were linked together by a vice. We both smoked opium. We knew each other's secret, and respected it. We enjoyed together that wonderful expansion of thought, that marvelous intensifying of the perceptive faculties, that boundless feeling of existence when we seem to have points of contact with the whole universe,—in short, that unimaginable spiritual bliss, which I would not surrender for a throne, and which I hope you, reader, will never—never taste.
Things were like this when an accident occurred that was so terrible and beyond explanation that just remembering it makes my mind spin. It was the tenth of July. After dinner, I went with my friend Dr. Hammond to the garden to smoke my evening pipe. Besides the mental connection between us, we were bonded by a shared habit. We both smoked opium. We knew each other's secret and respected it. Together, we experienced that incredible expansion of thought, that amazing intensification of the senses, that limitless feeling of existence when it seems like we’re connected to the entire universe—in short, that unimaginable spiritual bliss, which I would never give up for a throne, and which I hope you, reader, will never—never—experience.
Those hours of opium happiness which the Doctor and I spent together in secret were regulated with a scientific accuracy. We did not blindly smoke the drug of paradise, and leave our dreams to chance. While smoking, we carefully steered our conversation through the brightest and calmest channels of thought. We talked of the East, and endeavored to recall the magical panorama of its glowing scenery. We criticized the most sensuous poets,—those who painted life ruddy with health, brimming with passion, happy in the possession of youth and strength and beauty. If we talked of Shakespeare's Tempest, we lingered over Ariel, and avoided Caliban. Like the Guebers, we turned our faces to the East, and saw only the sunny side of the world.
Those hours of blissful opium that the Doctor and I spent together in secret were precisely timed. We didn’t just mindlessly smoke the paradise drug and leave our dreams to fate. While smoking, we carefully guided our conversation through the brightest and calmest thoughts. We talked about the East and tried to recall the stunning views of its vibrant landscape. We critiqued the most sensual poets—those who depicted life as vibrant with health, overflowing with passion, and joyful in youth, strength, and beauty. When discussing Shakespeare's Tempest, we lingered on Ariel and steered clear of Caliban. Like the Guebers, we faced the East and only saw the sunny side of the world.
This skillful coloring of our train of thought produced in our subsequent visions a corresponding tone. The splendors of Arabian fairyland dyed our dreams. We paced the narrow strip of grass with the tread and port of kings. The song of the Rana arborea, while he clung to the bark of the ragged plum-tree, sounded like the strains of divine musicians. Houses, walls, and streets melted like rain clouds, and vistas of unimaginable glory stretched away before us. It was a rapturous companionship. We enjoyed the vast delight more perfectly because, even in our most ecstatic moments, we were conscious of each other's presence. Our pleasures, while individual, were still twin, vibrating and moving in musical accord.
This colorful way of thinking influenced our later visions with a similar vibe. The beauty of an Arabian fairy tale colored our dreams. We walked along the narrow strip of grass like royalty. The song of the Rana arborea, clinging to the rough bark of the plum tree, sounded like the music of angels. Houses, walls, and streets faded away like rain clouds, revealing breathtaking views stretched out in front of us. It was an exhilarating companionship. We savored this immense joy even more because, in our most blissful moments, we were aware of each other's presence. Our pleasures, while personal, still felt like a perfect duet, resonating and moving together in harmony.
On the evening in question, the tenth of July, the Doctor and myself drifted into an unusually metaphysical mood. We lit our large meerschaums, filled with fine Turkish tobacco, in the core of which burned a little black nut of opium, that, like the nut in the fairy tale, held within its narrow limits wonders beyond the reach of kings; we paced to and fro, conversing. A strange perversity dominated the currents of our thought. They would not flow through the sun-lit channels into which we strove to divert them. For some unaccountable reason, they constantly diverged into dark and lonesome beds, where a continual gloom brooded. It was in vain that, after our old fashion, we flung ourselves on the shores of the East, and talked of its gay bazaars, of the splendors of the time of Haroun, of harems and golden palaces. Black afreets continually arose from the depths of our talk, and expanded, like the one the fisherman released from the copper vessel, until they blotted everything bright from our vision. Insensibly, we yielded to the occult force that swayed us, and indulged in gloomy speculation. We had talked some time upon the proneness of the human mind to mysticism, and the almost universal love of the terrible, when Hammond suddenly said to me. "What do you consider to be the greatest element of terror?"
On the evening in question, the tenth of July, the Doctor and I fell into a particularly philosophical mood. We lit our large meerschaums, filled with fine Turkish tobacco, which contained a small black nut of opium that, like the one in the fairy tale, held wonders beyond the grasp of kings. We paced back and forth, deep in conversation. A strange perversity influenced our thoughts. They would not flow down the sunny paths we tried to steer them towards. For some inexplicable reason, they kept veering into dark and lonely channels, where an overwhelming gloom lingered. It was useless that, as was our custom, we tried to escape to the shores of the East, discussing its lively markets, the glories of Haroun's era, harems, and golden palaces. Dark spirits constantly emerged from the depths of our dialogue, growing like the one the fisherman freed from the copper vessel, until they obscured everything bright from our sight. Gradually, we succumbed to the mysterious force pulling us, indulging in somber thoughts. We had been discussing the tendency of the human mind towards mysticism and the almost universal fascination with the horrifying when Hammond suddenly asked me, "What do you think is the greatest source of terror?"
The question puzzled me. That many things were terrible, I knew. Stumbling over a corpse in the dark; beholding, as I once did, a woman floating down a deep and rapid river, with wildly lifted arms, and awful, upturned face, uttering, as she drifted, shrieks that rent one's heart while we, spectators, stood frozen at a window which overhung the river at a height of sixty feet, unable to make the slightest effort to save her, but dumbly watching her last supreme agony and her disappearance. A shattered wreck, with no life visible, encountered floating listlessly on the ocean, is a terrible object, for it suggests a huge terror, the proportions of which are veiled. But it now struck me, for the first time, that there must be one great and ruling embodiment of fear,—a King of Terrors, to which all others must succumb. What might it be? To what train of circumstances would it owe its existence?
The question confused me. I knew that many things were awful. Tripping over a corpse in the dark; witnessing, as I once did, a woman being swept down a deep, fast-moving river, her arms thrown up in desperation and her face twisted in horror, screaming as she floated by, shredding our hearts while we, the onlookers, stood frozen at a window sixty feet above the river, unable to do anything to save her, just helplessly watching her final moments and her disappearance. A wrecked ship, with no visible life aboard, drifting aimlessly in the ocean, is a horrific sight because it hints at a large, concealed terror. But it struck me for the first time that there must be one ultimate embodiment of fear—a King of Terrors that all others must bow to. What could it be? What circumstances would bring it about?
"I confess, Hammond," I replied to my friend, "I never considered the subject before. That there must be one Something more terrible than any other thing, I feel. I cannot attempt, however, even the most vague definition."
"I admit, Hammond," I said to my friend, "I never thought about this before. I do feel there has to be one thing that's worse than everything else. However, I can't even try to come up with a vague definition."
"I am somewhat like you, Harry," he answered. "I feel my capacity to experience a terror greater than anything yet conceived by the human mind;—something combining in fearful and unnatural amalgamation hitherto supposed incompatible elements. The calling of the voices in Brockden Brown's novel of Wieland is awful; so is the picture of the Dweller of the Threshold, in Bulwer's Zanoni; but," he added, shaking his head gloomily, "there is something more horrible still than those."
"I'm a bit like you, Harry," he replied. "I sense my ability to feel a fear greater than anything the human mind has ever imagined—something that brings together terrifying and unnatural elements that were thought to be incompatible. The voices in Brockden Brown's novel, Wieland, are terrifying; so is the image of the Dweller of the Threshold in Bulwer's Zanoni; but," he added, shaking his head sadly, "there's something even more horrifying than those."
"Look here, Hammond," I rejoined, "let us drop this kind of talk, for Heaven's sake! We shall suffer for it, depend on it."
"Listen, Hammond," I replied, "let's drop this kind of talk, for Heaven's sake! We'll regret it, trust me."
"I don't know what's the matter with me to-night," he replied, "but my brain is running upon all sorts of weird and awful thoughts. I feel as if I could write a story like Hoffman, to-night, if I were only master of a literary style."
"I don't know what's wrong with me tonight," he said, "but my mind is racing with all kinds of strange and terrible thoughts. I feel like I could write a story like Hoffmann tonight, if only I had a good writing style."
"Well, if we are going to be Hoffmanesque in our talk, I'm off to bed. Opium and nightmares should never be brought together. How sultry it is! Good-night, Hammond."
"Well, if we’re going to be Hoffman-like in our conversation, I’m heading to bed. Opium and nightmares should never mix. It’s so muggy! Good night, Hammond."
"Good-night, Harry. Pleasant dreams to you."
"Good night, Harry. Sleep well!"
"To you, gloomy wretch, afreets, ghouls, and enchanters."
"To you, miserable soul, spirits, monsters, and sorcerers."
We parted, and each sought his respective chamber. I undressed quickly and got into bed, taking with me, according to my usual custom, a book, over which I generally read myself to sleep. I opened the volume as soon as I had laid my head upon the pillow, and instantly flung it to the other side of the room. It was Goudon's History of Monsters,—a curious French work, which I had lately imported from Paris, but which, in the state of mind I had then reached, was anything but an agreeable companion. I resolved to go to sleep at once; so, turning down my gas until nothing but a little blue point of light glimmered on the top of the tube, I composed myself to rest.
We said our goodbyes and each headed to our own rooms. I quickly got undressed and climbed into bed, taking a book with me as I usually did, which I typically read until I dozed off. I opened the book as soon as my head hit the pillow, but immediately tossed it to the other side of the room. It was Goudon's History of Monsters, a fascinating French book I had recently brought back from Paris, but in the frame of mind I was in at that moment, it was far from enjoyable. I decided to just go to sleep right away; so, I turned down the gas until only a tiny blue light flickered at the top of the tube, and settled in to rest.
The room was in total darkness. The atom of gas that still remained alight did not illuminate a distance of three inches round the burner. I desperately drew my arm across my eyes, as if to shut out even the darkness, and tried to think of nothing. It was in vain. The confounded themes touched on by Hammond in the garden kept obtruding themselves on my brain. I battled against them. I erected ramparts of would-be blackness of intellect to keep them out. They still crowded upon me. While I was lying still as a corpse, hoping that by a perfect physical inaction I should hasten mental repose, an awful incident occurred. A Something dropped, as it seemed, from the ceiling, plumb upon my chest, and the next instant I felt two bony hands encircling my throat, endeavoring to choke me.
The room was completely dark. The tiny flame that was still burning barely lit up a few inches around the burner. I desperately rubbed my eyes, trying to block out even the darkness, and attempted to think of nothing. It was useless. The annoying topics brought up by Hammond in the garden kept invading my mind. I fought against them. I built up walls of supposed mental darkness to keep them at bay. They still pressed in on me. While I lay still as a corpse, hoping that perfect physical stillness would bring me mental calm, something terrifying happened. A thing seemed to drop from the ceiling right onto my chest, and the next moment, I felt two bony hands wrapping around my throat, trying to choke me.
I am no coward, and am possessed of considerable physical strength. The suddenness of the attack, instead of stunning me, strung every nerve to its highest tension. My body acted from instinct, before my brain had time to realize the terrors of my position. In an instant I wound two muscular arms around the creature, and squeezed it, with all the strength of despair, against my chest. In a few seconds the bony hands that had fastened on my throat loosened their hold, and I was free to breathe once more. Then commenced a struggle of awful intensity. Immersed in the most profound darkness, totally ignorant of the nature of the Thing by which I was so suddenly attacked, finding my grasp slipping every moment, by reason, it seemed to me, of the entire nakedness of my assailant, bitten with sharp teeth in the shoulder, neck, and chest, having every moment to protect my throat against a pair of sinewy, agile hands, which my utmost efforts could not confine,—these were a combination of circumstances to combat which required all the strength, skill, and courage that I possessed.
I’m no coward and I have quite a bit of physical strength. The suddenness of the attack didn’t shock me; instead, it made every nerve in my body come alive. My body reacted instinctively before my brain could fully comprehend how terrifying my situation was. In an instant, I wrapped my strong arms around the creature and squeezed it with every bit of desperation I had against my chest. After a few seconds, the bony hands that had gripped my throat loosened, and I was able to breathe again. Then began a struggle of terrifying intensity. Engulfed in complete darkness, completely unaware of what was attacking me, and feeling my grip slipping constantly—likely because my assailant was completely bare—being bitten with sharp teeth in the shoulder, neck, and chest, while trying to protect my throat from a pair of strong, agile hands that I couldn’t contain. These were circumstances that demanded all the strength, skill, and courage I had.
At last, after a silent, deadly, exhausting struggle, I got my assailant under by a series of incredible efforts of strength. Once pinned, with my knee on what I made out to be its chest, I knew that I was victor. I rested for a moment to breathe. I heard the creature beneath me panting in the darkness, and felt the violent throbbing of a heart. It was apparently as exhausted as I was; that was one comfort. At this moment I remembered that I usually placed under my pillow, before going to bed, a large yellow silk pocket handkerchief. I felt for it instantly; it was there. In a few seconds more I had, after a fashion, pinioned the creature's arms.
Finally, after a silent, intense, exhausting struggle, I managed to subdue my attacker through an incredible effort of strength. Once I had it pinned down, with my knee on what I realized was its chest, I knew I had won. I took a moment to catch my breath. I could hear the creature beneath me gasping in the darkness and felt the pounding of its heart. It seemed just as worn out as I was; that offered some relief. At that moment, I remembered that I usually placed a large yellow silk handkerchief under my pillow before going to bed. I quickly felt for it, and it was right there. Within a few more seconds, I had somehow secured the creature's arms.
I now felt tolerably secure. There was nothing more to be done but to turn on the gas, and, having first seen what my midnight assailant was like, arouse the household. I will confess to being actuated by a certain pride in not giving the alarm before; I wished to make the capture alone and unaided.
I now felt pretty secure. There was nothing left to do but turn on the gas and, after seeing what my midnight attacker looked like, wake up the household. I'll admit I was motivated by a bit of pride for not raising the alarm earlier; I wanted to make the capture by myself.
Never losing my hold for an instant, I slipped from the bed to the floor, dragging my captive with me. I had but a few steps to make to reach the gas-burner; these I made with the greatest caution, holding the creature in a grip like a vice. At last I got within arm's length of the tiny speck of blue light which told me where the gas-burner lay. Quick as lightning I released my grasp with one hand and let on the full flood of light. Then I turned to look at my captive.
Never letting go for a moment, I slipped out of bed and onto the floor, pulling my captive along with me. I only had a few steps to take to get to the gas burner; I moved with extreme caution, holding the creature in a grip like a vise. Finally, I was within arm's reach of the small blue light indicating where the gas burner was. In a flash, I released my grip with one hand and turned on the full light. Then I turned to look at my captive.
I cannot even attempt to give any definition of my sensations the instant after I turned on the gas. I suppose I must have shrieked with terror, for in less than a minute afterward my room was crowded with the inmates of the house. I shudder now as I think of that awful moment. I saw nothing! Yes; I had one arm firmly clasped round a breathing, panting, corporeal shape, my other hand gripped with all its strength a throat as warm, as apparently fleshy, as my own; and yet, with this living substance in my grasp, with its body pressed against my own, and all in the bright glare of a large jet of gas, I absolutely beheld nothing! Not even an outline,—a vapor!
I can't even begin to describe how I felt right after I turned on the gas. I must have screamed in fear because, within a minute, my room was filled with everyone in the house. I shudder now just thinking about that terrible moment. I saw nothing! Yes; I had one arm tightly wrapped around a warm, breathing figure, while my other hand was gripping a throat that felt just as warm and real as my own; and yet, with this living being in my grasp, pressed against me, and everything brightly lit by a large gas flame, I could see absolutely nothing! Not even a shape—just a mist!
I do not, even at this hour, realize the situation in which I found myself. I cannot recall the astounding incident thoroughly. Imagination in vain tries to compass the awful paradox.
I still don't fully understand the situation I'm in, even at this moment. I can't remember the incredible event completely. My imagination struggles to grasp the terrifying contradiction.
It breathed. I felt its warm breath upon my cheek. It struggled fiercely. It had hands. They clutched me. Its skin was smooth, like my own. There it lay, pressed close up against me, solid as stone,—and yet utterly invisible!
It breathed. I felt its warm breath on my cheek. It struggled fiercely. It had hands. They gripped me. Its skin was smooth, like my own. There it lay, pressed closely against me, solid as stone—and yet completely invisible!
I wonder that I did not faint or go mad on the instant. Some wonderful instinct must have sustained me; for, absolutely, in place of loosening my hold on the terrible Enigma, I seemed to gain an additional strength in my moment of horror, and tightened my grasp with such wonderful force that I felt the creature shivering with agony.
I don't know how I didn't faint or go crazy right then. Some amazing instinct must have kept me steady; instead of letting go of the horrific mystery, I felt like I gained extra strength in that moment of fear and tightened my grip so powerfully that I could feel the creature trembling in pain.
Just then Hammond entered my room at the head of the household. As soon as he beheld my face—which, I suppose, must have been an awful sight to look at—he hastened forward, crying, "Great heaven, Harry! what has happened?"
Just then, Hammond walked into my room at the front of the household. As soon as he saw my face—which I can imagine must have looked terrible—he rushed over, exclaiming, "Oh my god, Harry! What happened?"
"Hammond! Hammond!" I cried, "come here. O, this is awful! I have been attacked in bed by something or other, which I have hold of; but I can't see it,—I can't see it!"
"Hammond! Hammond!" I shouted, "come here. Oh, this is terrible! I’ve been attacked in bed by something, and I’ve got it, but I can’t see it—I can’t see it!"
Hammond, doubtless struck by the unfeigned horror expressed in my countenance, made one or two steps forward with an anxious yet puzzled expression. A very audible titter burst from the remainder of my visitors. This suppressed laughter made me furious. To laugh at a human being in my position! It was the worst species of cruelty. Now, I can understand why the appearance of a man struggling violently, as it would seem, with an airy nothing, and calling for assistance against a vision, should have appeared ludicrous. Then, so great was my rage against the mocking crowd that had I the power I would have stricken them dead where they stood.
Hammond, clearly taken aback by the genuine horror on my face, took a couple of steps forward, looking anxious yet confused. A loud snicker came from the rest of my visitors. Their suppressed laughter made me furious. To mock someone in my position! It was the worst kind of cruelty. Now, I get why someone who looks like they’re desperately fighting against thin air and calling for help against a vision might seem ridiculous. Then, my anger toward the mocking crowd was so intense that if I could, I would have struck them dead where they stood.
"Hammond! Hammond!" I cried again, despairingly, "for God's sake come to me. I can hold the—the thing but a short while longer. It is overpowering me. Help me! Help me!"
"Hammond! Hammond!" I shouted again, desperately, "please, for God's sake, come to me. I can hold the—the thing for just a little longer. It's overwhelming me. Help me! Help me!"
"Harry," whispered Hammond, approaching me, "you have been smoking too much opium."
"Harry," whispered Hammond, coming closer to me, "you've been smoking way too much opium."
"I swear to you, Hammond, that this is no vision," I answered, in the same low tone. "Don't you see how it shakes my whole frame with its struggles? If you don't believe me, convince yourself. Feel it,—touch it."
"I promise you, Hammond, that this isn't some kind of illusion," I replied, in the same quiet tone. "Can't you see how it shakes my entire body with its struggles? If you don't believe me, see for yourself. Feel it—touch it."
Hammond advanced and laid his hand in the spot I indicated. A wild cry of horror burst from him. He had felt it!
Hammond moved forward and placed his hand on the spot I pointed out. A shocking scream escaped him. He had felt it!
In a moment he had discovered somewhere in my room a long piece of cord, and was the next instant winding it and knotting it about the body of the unseen being that I clasped in my arms.
In an instant, he found a long piece of cord somewhere in my room and was quickly winding it and knotting it around the body of the unseen being I held in my arms.
"Harry," he said, in a hoarse, agitated voice, for, though he preserved his presence of mind, he was deeply moved, "Harry, it's all safe now. You may let go, old fellow, if you're tired. The Thing can't move."
"Harry," he said, in a rough, shaky voice, because even though he kept his composure, he was really affected, "Harry, it's all okay now. You can let go, my friend, if you're tired. The thing can't move."
I was utterly exhausted, and I gladly loosed my hold.
I was completely worn out, and I happily let go.
Hammond stood holding the ends of the cord that bound the Invisible, twisted round his hand, while before him, self-supporting as it were, he beheld a rope laced and interlaced, and stretching tightly around a vacant space. I never saw a man look so thoroughly stricken with awe. Nevertheless his face expressed all the courage and determination which I knew him to possess. His lips, although white, were set firmly, and one could perceive at a glance that, although stricken with fear, he was not daunted.
Hammond stood holding the ends of the cord that connected the Invisible, twisted around his hand, while in front of him, seemingly standing on its own, he saw a rope woven and intertwined, stretched tight around an empty space. I had never seen a man look so completely overcome with awe. Still, his face showed all the courage and determination I knew he had. His lips, though pale, were set firmly, and it was clear at a glance that, although filled with fear, he was not intimidated.
The confusion that ensued among the guests of the house who were witnesses of this extraordinary scene between Hammond and myself,—who beheld the pantomime of binding this struggling Something,—who beheld me almost sinking from physical exhaustion when my task of jailer was over,—the confusion and terror that took possession of the bystanders, when they saw all this, was beyond description. The weaker ones fled from the apartment. The few who remained clustered near the door and could not be induced to approach Hammond and his Charge. Still incredulity broke out through their terror. They had not the courage to satisfy themselves, and yet they doubted. It was in vain that I begged of some of the men to come near and convince themselves by touch of the existence in that room of a living being which was invisible. They were incredulous, but did not dare to undeceive themselves. How could a solid, living, breathing body be invisible, they asked. My reply was this. I gave a sign to Hammond, and both of us—conquering our fearful repugnance to touch the invisible creature—lifted it from the ground, manacled as it was, and took it to my bed. Its weight was about that of a boy of fourteen.
The confusion among the guests in the house, who were witnesses to this extraordinary scene between Hammond and me—who watched the pantomime of binding this struggling Something—who saw me nearly collapse from exhaustion once my task as the jailer was over—the confusion and terror that took over the bystanders when they witnessed all this was indescribable. The weaker ones fled the room. The few who stayed gathered near the door and couldn’t be convinced to approach Hammond and his Charge. Still, disbelief emerged through their fear. They didn’t have the courage to check for themselves, yet they were doubtful. I pleaded with some of the men to come closer and feel the presence of a living being in that room, even though it was invisible. They were skeptical but didn’t dare to prove themselves wrong. How could a solid, living, breathing body be invisible, they asked. My answer was this: I nodded to Hammond, and both of us—overcoming our intense reluctance to touch the unseen creature—lifted it from the ground, manacles and all, and brought it to my bed. It weighed about as much as a fourteen-year-old boy.
"Now my friends," I said, as Hammond and myself held the creature suspended over the bed, "I can give you self-evident proof that here is a solid, ponderable body, which, nevertheless, you cannot see. Be good enough to watch the surface of the bed attentively."
"Now, my friends," I said, as Hammond and I held the creature over the bed, "I can give you undeniable proof that here is a solid, tangible body that you still can’t see. Please pay close attention to the surface of the bed."
I was astonished at my own courage in treating this strange event so calmly; but I had recovered from my first terror, and felt a sort of scientific pride in the affair, which dominated every other feeling.
I was amazed by my own bravery in handling this bizarre situation so coolly; I had gotten over my initial fear and felt a kind of scientific pride in it, which took over all my other emotions.
The eyes of the bystanders were immediately fixed on my bed. At a given signal Hammond and I let the creature fall. There was a dull sound of a heavy body alighting on a soft mass. The timbers of the bed creaked. A deep impression marked itself distinctly on the pillow, and on the bed itself. The crowd who witnessed this gave a low cry, and rushed from the room. Hammond and I were left alone with our Mystery.
The eyes of the bystanders were immediately focused on my bed. At a signal, Hammond and I let the creature drop. There was a dull thud as its heavy body landed on the soft mass. The bed creaked. A deep impression was clearly etched into the pillow and the bed itself. The crowd that witnessed this gasped and hurried out of the room. Hammond and I were left alone with our Mystery.
We remained silent for some time, listening to the low, irregular breathing of the creature on the bed, and watching the rustle of the bedclothes as it impotently struggled to free itself from confinement. Then Hammond spoke.
We stayed quiet for a while, listening to the soft, uneven breathing of the creature on the bed and watching the bedcovers shift as it tried weakly to break free from its constraints. Then Hammond spoke.
"Harry, this is awful."
"Harry, this is terrible."
"Ay, awful."
"Yeah, terrible."
"But not unaccountable."
"But still responsible."
"Not unaccountable! What do you mean? Such a thing has never occurred since the birth of the world. I know not what to think, Hammond. God grant that I am not mad, and that this is not an insane fantasy!"
"Not unaccountable! What do you mean? That’s never happened since the world began. I don’t know what to think, Hammond. I hope I’m not losing my mind, and that this isn’t some crazy illusion!"
"Let us reason a little, Harry. Here is a solid body which we touch, but which we cannot see. The fact is so unusual that it strikes us with terror. Is there no parallel, though, for such a phenomenon? Take a piece of pure glass. It is tangible and transparent. A certain chemical coarseness is all that prevents its being so entirely transparent as to be totally invisible. It is not theoretically impossible, mind you, to make a glass which shall not reflect a single ray of light,—a glass so pure and homogeneous in its atoms that the rays from the sun will pass through it as they do through the air, refracted but not reflected. We do not see the air, and yet we feel it."
"Let's think about this a bit, Harry. Here’s a solid object that we can touch, but we can’t see. The fact is so strange that it terrifies us. But isn’t there a similar example for such a phenomenon? Consider a piece of clear glass. It’s tangible and transparent. The only thing that keeps it from being completely transparent to the point of being invisible is a certain chemical roughness. It’s not theoretically impossible to create glass that doesn’t reflect any light at all—a glass so pure and uniform in its atoms that sunlight passes through it like it does through air, bent but not bounced back. We can’t see the air, yet we can feel it."
"That's all very well, Hammond, but these are inanimate substances. Glass does not breathe, air does not breathe. This thing has a heart that palpitates,—a will that moves it,—lungs that play, and inspire and respire."
"That's great, Hammond, but these are lifeless materials. Glass doesn’t breathe, air doesn’t breathe. This thing has a beating heart, a will that drives it, lungs that function, and allows for breathing in and out."
"You forget the phenomena of which we have so often heard of late," answered the Doctor, gravely. "At the meetings called 'spirit circles,' invisible hands have been thrust into the hands of those persons round the table,—warm, fleshly hands that seemed to pulsate with mortal life."
"You’re forgetting the things we’ve been hearing about a lot lately,” the Doctor replied seriously. “In the meetings known as ‘spirit circles,’ invisible hands have reached out and touched the hands of the people around the table—warm, human hands that seemed to pulse with life."
"What? Do you think, then, that this thing is——"
"What? Do you think this thing is——"
"I don't know what it is," was the solemn reply; "but please the gods I will, with your assistance, thoroughly investigate it."
"I’m not sure what it is," was the serious response; "but hopefully, with your help, I’ll be able to look into it thoroughly."
We watched together, smoking many pipes, all night long, by the bedside of the unearthly being that tossed and panted until it was apparently wearied out. Then we learned by the low, regular breathing that it slept.
We sat together, smoking several pipes, all night long, by the bedside of the otherworldly being that tossed and sighed until it seemed completely exhausted. Then we noticed by its soft, steady breathing that it had fallen asleep.
The next morning the house was all astir. The boarders congregated on the landing outside my room, and Hammond and myself were lions. We had to answer a thousand questions as to the state of our extraordinary prisoner, for as yet not one person in the house except ourselves could be induced to set foot in the apartment.
The next morning, the house was buzzing with activity. The guests gathered on the landing outside my room, and Hammond and I were the center of attention. We had to answer a million questions about the condition of our unusual prisoner, because so far, no one else in the house could be convinced to step into the room.
The creature was awake. This was evidenced by the convulsive manner in which the bedclothes were moved in its efforts to escape. There was something truly terrible in beholding, as it were, those second-hand indications of the terrible writhings and agonized struggles for liberty which themselves were invisible.
The creature was awake. This was clear from the way the blankets shook as it tried to escape. It was genuinely horrifying to witness those indirect signs of the creature's desperate and painful attempts for freedom, even though the creature itself was unseen.
Hammond and myself had racked our brains during the long night to discover some means by which we might realize the shape and general appearance of the Enigma. As well as we could make out by passing our hands over the creature's form, its outlines and lineaments were human. There was a mouth; a round, smooth head without hair; a nose, which, however, was little elevated above the cheeks; and its hands and feet felt like those of a boy. At first we thought of placing the being on a smooth surface and tracing its outlines with chalk, as shoemakers trace the outline of the foot. This plan was given up as being of no value. Such an outline would give not the slightest idea of its conformation.
Hammond and I spent the long night trying to figure out a way to understand the shape and overall appearance of the Enigma. From what we could make out by feeling the creature, its outlines and features seemed human. It had a mouth, a round, smooth head without hair, a nose that was only slightly raised above the cheeks, and its hands and feet felt like those of a boy. At first, we considered placing the being on a flat surface and tracing its outline with chalk, like shoemakers do with a foot. But we abandoned that idea since it wouldn’t really show us anything about its actual form.
A happy thought struck me. We would take a cast of it in plaster of Paris. This would give us the solid figure, and satisfy all our wishes. But how to do it? The movements of the creature would disturb the setting of the plastic covering, and distort the mold. Another thought. Why not give it chloroform? It had respiratory organs,—that was evident by its breathing. Once reduced to a state of insensibility, we could do with it what we would. Doctor X—— was sent for; and after the worthy physician had recovered from the first shock of amazement, he proceeded to administer the chloroform. In three minutes afterward we were enabled to remove the fetters from the creature's body, and a modeler was busily engaged in covering the invisible form with the moist clay. In five minutes more we had a mold, and before evening a rough facsimile of the Mystery. It was shaped like a man—distorted, uncouth, and horrible, but still a man. It was small, not over four feet and some inches in height, and its limbs revealed a muscular development that was unparalleled. Its face surpassed in hideousness anything I had ever seen. Gustav Doré, or Callot, or Tony Johannot, never conceived anything so horrible. There is a face in one of the latter's illustrations to Un Voyage où il vous plaira, which somewhat approaches the countenance of this creature, but does not equal it. It was the physiognomy of what I should fancy a ghoul might be. It looked as if it was capable of feeding on human flesh.
A happy thought hit me. We would make a cast of it in plaster of Paris. This would give us a solid figure and fulfill all our wishes. But how to do it? The creature's movements would disturb the setting of the plastic covering and distort the mold. Then I had another thought. Why not use chloroform? It had breathing organs—that was clear from its breath. Once it was knocked out, we could do whatever we wanted with it. Doctor X—— was called; and after the doctor recovered from the initial shock, he began administering the chloroform. Three minutes later, we were able to remove the restraints from the creature’s body, and a modeler was working quickly to cover the invisible form with moist clay. In five more minutes, we had a mold, and by evening we had a rough replica of the Mystery. It was shaped like a man—distorted, awkward, and horrifying, but still a man. It was small, a little over four feet tall, and its limbs showed an unmatched muscular development. Its face was uglier than anything I had ever seen. Gustav Doré, Callot, or Tony Johannot never imagined anything so terrible. There’s a face in one of Callot’s illustrations for Un Voyage où il vous plaira that somewhat resembles this creature’s face but doesn’t come close to it. It had the look of what I would imagine a ghoul to be. It seemed like it could feed on human flesh.
Having satisfied our curiosity, and bound every one in the house to secrecy, it became a question what was to be done with our Enigma? It was impossible that we should keep such a horror in our house; it was equally impossible that such an awful being should be let loose upon the world. I confess that I would have gladly voted for the creature's destruction. But who would shoulder the responsibility? Who would undertake the execution of this horrible semblance of a human being? Day after day this question was deliberated gravely. The boarders all left the house. Mrs. Moffat was in despair, and threatened Hammond and myself with all sorts of legal penalties if we did not remove the Horror. Our answer was, "We will go if you like, but we decline taking this creature with us. Remove it yourself if you please. It appeared in your house. On you the responsibility rests." To this there was, of course, no answer. Mrs. Moffat could not obtain for love or money a person who would even approach the Mystery.
Once we had satisfied our curiosity and ensured that everyone in the house would keep it a secret, the question arose: what were we going to do with our Enigma? It was clear that we couldn't keep such a horrifying being in our home; it was just as impossible to let such an awful creature roam free in the world. I admit I would have gladly voted for its destruction. But who would take on that responsibility? Who would carry out the execution of this nightmarish version of a human being? Day after day, we seriously debated this issue. All the boarders left the house. Mrs. Moffat was in despair and threatened Hammond and me with all sorts of legal consequences if we didn't get rid of the Horror. Our response was, "We can leave if you want, but we're not taking this creature with us. If you want it gone, you’ll have to remove it yourself. It appeared in your house. The responsibility is yours." Of course, there was no response to that. Mrs. Moffat couldn't find anyone, no matter how much she begged or paid, who would even come near the Mystery.
The most singular part of the affair was that we were entirely ignorant of what the creature habitually fed on. Everything in the way of nutriment that we could think of was placed before it, but was never touched. It was awful to stand by, day after day, and see the clothes toss, and hear the hard breathing, and know that it was starving.
The strangest part of the situation was that we had no idea what the creature usually ate. We put out every type of food we could think of, but it never touched any of it. It was terrible to stand by, day after day, and see the clothes move, hear the heavy breathing, and realize that it was starving.
Ten, twelve days, a fortnight passed, and it still lived. The pulsations of the heart, however, were daily growing fainter, and had now nearly ceased. It was evident that the creature was dying for want of sustenance. While this terrible life-struggle was going on, I felt miserable. I could not sleep. Horrible as the creature was, it was pitiful to think of the pangs it was suffering.
Ten, twelve days, a fortnight passed, and it was still alive. The beats of its heart, however, were getting weaker every day and were almost gone now. It was clear that the creature was dying from lack of nourishment. During this awful struggle for life, I felt very unhappy. I couldn’t sleep. Horrible as the creature was, it was heartbreaking to think of the pain it was going through.
At last it died. Hammond and I found it cold and stiff one morning in the bed. The heart had ceased to beat, the lungs to inspire. We hastened to bury it in the garden. It was a strange funeral, the dropping of that viewless corpse into the damp hole. The cast of its form I gave to Doctor X——, who keeps it in his museum in Tenth Street.
At last it died. Hammond and I found it cold and stiff one morning in bed. The heart had stopped beating, and the lungs had stopped breathing. We rushed to bury it in the garden. It was an odd funeral, dropping that invisible body into the damp hole. I gave the shape of it to Doctor X——, who keeps it in his museum on Tenth Street.
As I am on the eve of a long journey from which I may not return, I have drawn up this narrative of an event the most singular that has ever come to my knowledge.
As I stand on the brink of a long journey from which I might not return, I have created this account of an event the most unique that I have ever encountered.
The Middle Toe of the Right Foot
By AMBROSE BIERCEBy Ambrose Bierce
From Can Such Things Be? by Ambrose Bierce. Copyright by the Neale Publishing Company. By permission of the publishers.
From Can Such Things Be? by Ambrose Bierce. Copyright by the Neale Publishing Company. By permission of the publishers.
I
It is well known that the old Manton house is haunted. In all the rural district near about, and even in the town of Marshall, a mile away, not one person of unbiased mind entertains a doubt of it; incredulity is confined to those opinionated persons who will be called "cranks" as soon as the useful word shall have penetrated the intellectual demesne of the Marshall Advance. The evidence that the house is haunted is of two kinds; the testimony of disinterested witnesses who have had ocular proof, and that of the house itself. The former may be disregarded and ruled out on any of the various grounds of objection which may be urged against it by the ingenious; but facts within the observation of all are material and controlling.
It's well known that the old Manton house is haunted. In all the rural areas nearby, and even in the town of Marshall, a mile away, no one with an open mind doubts it; disbelief is reserved for those opinionated folks who will be labeled "cranks" as soon as that handy term makes its way into the Marshall Advance. There are two types of evidence that the house is haunted: the accounts of unbiased witnesses who have seen things for themselves, and the conditions of the house itself. The former can be dismissed based on various objections that clever people might raise, but the facts that anyone can observe are significant and decisive.
In the first place the Manton house has been unoccupied by mortals for more than ten years, and with its outbuildings is slowly falling into decay—a circumstance which in itself the judicious will hardly venture to ignore. It stands a little way off the loneliest reach of the Marshall and Harriston road, in an opening which was once a farm and is still disfigured with strips of rotting fence and half covered with brambles overrunning a stony and sterile soil long unacquainted with the plow. The house itself is in tolerably good condition, though badly weather-stained and in dire need of attention from the glazier, the smaller male population of the region having attested in the manner of its kind its disapproval of dwelling without dwellers. It is two stories in height, nearly square, its front pierced by a single doorway flanked on each side by a window boarded up to the very top. Corresponding windows above, not protected, serve to admit light and rain to the rooms of the upper floor. Grass and weeds grow pretty rankly all about, and a few shade trees, somewhat the worse for wind, and leaning all in one direction, seem to be making a concerted effort to run away. In short, as the Marshall town humorist explained in the columns of the Advance, "the proposition that the Manton house is badly haunted is the only logical conclusion from the premises." The fact that in this dwelling Mr. Manton thought it expedient one night some ten years ago to rise and cut the throats of his wife and two small children, removing at once to another part of the country, has no doubt done its share in directing public attention to the fitness of the place for supernatural phenomena.
First of all, the Manton house has been empty for over ten years, and along with its outbuildings, it's slowly falling apart—a fact that smart people won't overlook. It’s situated a little off the loneliest stretch of the Marshall and Harriston road, in a clearing that used to be a farm, now marred by decaying fence posts and overrun with brambles, covering a rocky and barren land that hasn’t felt a plow in ages. The house itself is in fairly decent shape, although it’s badly weathered and desperately needs some work from a glass repairman, as the local kids have made it clear they don’t approve of a house without inhabitants. It’s two stories tall, nearly square, with a single front door and a window on either side, all boarded up to the top. The corresponding windows above, not boarded, let light and rain into the upper rooms. Grass and weeds grow quite thick around it, and a few shade trees, somewhat wind-damaged and leaning in one direction, seem to be trying to escape. In short, as the town jokester said in the pages of the Advance, "the idea that the Manton house is seriously haunted is the only logical conclusion based on the facts." The history of Mr. Manton rising one night about ten years ago to murder his wife and two young children before disappearing to another part of the country has certainly contributed to the public's interest in the house being a hotspot for supernatural events.
To this house, one summer evening, came four men in a wagon. Three of them promptly alighted, and the one who had been driving hitched the team to the only remaining post of what had been a fence. The fourth remained seated in the wagon. "Come," said one of his companions, approaching him, while the others moved away in the direction of the dwelling—"this is the place."
One summer evening, four men arrived at this house in a wagon. Three of them quickly got out, and the one who had been driving tied the team to the last post of what used to be a fence. The fourth man stayed seated in the wagon. "Come on," said one of his friends, walking over to him while the others headed toward the house—"this is the place."
The man addressed did not move. "By God!" he said harshly, "this is a trick, and it looks to me as if you were in it."
The man being spoken to didn’t move. "Seriously?" he said sharply, "this is a trick, and it seems like you’re involved in it."
"Perhaps I am," the other said, looking him straight in the face and speaking in a tone which had something of contempt in it. "You will remember, however, that the choice of place was with your own assent left to the other side. Of course if you are afraid of spooks—"
"Maybe I am," the other replied, looking him directly in the eye and speaking in a tone that held a hint of disdain. "But you should remember that the decision of the location was agreed upon by you as well. Of course, if you're scared of ghosts—"
"I am afraid of nothing," the man interrupted with another oath, and sprang to the ground. The two then joined the others at the door, which one of them had already opened with some difficulty, caused by rust of lock and hinge. All entered. Inside it was dark, but the man who had unlocked the door produced a candle and matches and made a light. He then unlocked a door on their right as they stood in the passage. This gave them entrance to a large, square room that the candle but dimly lighted. The floor had a thick carpeting of dust, which partly muffled their footfalls. Cobwebs were in the angles of the walls and depended from the ceiling like strips of rotting lace making undulatory movements in the disturbed air. The room had two windows in adjoining sides, but from neither could anything be seen except the rough inner surfaces of boards a few inches from the glass. There was no fireplace, no furniture; there was nothing: besides the cobwebs and the dust, the four men were the only objects there which were not a part of the structure.
"I’m not afraid of anything," the man interrupted with another curse and jumped down. The two then joined the others at the door, which one of them had already managed to open with some difficulty due to the rust on the lock and hinge. They all went inside. It was dark, but the man who had unlocked the door lit a candle with matches. He then unlocked a door to their right as they stood in the hallway. This led them into a large, square room that the candle barely illuminated. The floor was covered in a thick layer of dust, which partially muffled their footsteps. Cobwebs filled the corners of the walls and hung from the ceiling like strips of rotting lace, swaying in the disturbed air. The room had two windows on adjacent sides, but from neither could they see anything except the rough inner surfaces of the boards just a few inches from the glass. There was no fireplace, no furniture; there was nothing—besides the cobwebs and dust, the four men were the only things in the room that weren’t part of the building.
Strange enough they looked in the yellow light of the candle. The one who had so reluctantly alighted was especially spectacular—he might have been called sensational. He was of middle age, heavily built, deep chested, and broad shouldered. Looking at his figure, one would have said that he had a giant's strength; at his features, that he would use it like a giant. He was clean shaven, his hair rather closely cropped and gray. His low forehead was seamed with wrinkles above the eyes, and over the nose these became vertical. The heavy black brows followed the same law, saved from meeting only by an upward turn at what would otherwise have been the point of contact. Deeply sunken beneath these, glowed in the obscure light a pair of eyes of uncertain color, but obviously enough too small. There was something forbidding in their expression, which was not bettered by the cruel mouth and wide jaw. The nose was well enough, as noses go; one does not expect much of noses. All that was sinister in the man's face seemed accentuated by an unnatural pallor—he appeared altogether bloodless.
Strange enough, they looked in the yellow light of the candle. The one who had so reluctantly gotten off was especially striking—he might have been called sensational. He was middle-aged, heavily built, deep-chested, and broad-shouldered. Looking at his figure, one would say he had a giant's strength; at his features, that he would use it like a giant. He was clean-shaven, his hair was cropped short and gray. His low forehead was lined with wrinkles above his eyes, and above his nose, these became vertical. The heavy black eyebrows followed the same pattern, saved from meeting only by an upward curve at what would otherwise have been the point of contact. Deeply sunken beneath these, a pair of eyes glowed in the dim light, their color uncertain but clearly too small. There was something forbidding in their expression, which wasn’t helped by the cruel mouth and wide jaw. The nose was decent enough, as noses go; one doesn’t expect much from noses. All that was sinister in the man's face seemed emphasized by an unnatural pallor—he looked completely bloodless.
The appearance of the other men was sufficiently commonplace; they were such persons as one meets and forgets that he met. All were younger than the man described, between whom and the eldest of the others, who stood apart, there was apparently no kindly feeling. They avoided looking at each other.
The other guys looked pretty ordinary; they were the kind of people you meet and then forget. All of them were younger than the main guy described, and there didn't seem to be any friendly feelings between him and the oldest of the others, who stood off to the side. They avoided looking at each other.
"Gentlemen," said the man holding the candle and keys, "I believe everything is right. Are you ready, Mr. Rosser?"
"Gentlemen," said the man holding the candle and keys, "I think everything is in order. Are you ready, Mr. Rosser?"
The man standing apart from the group bowed and smiled.
The man standing away from the group bowed and smiled.
"And you, Mr. Grossmith?"
"And you, Mr. Grossmith?"
The heavy man bowed and scowled.
The heavy guy frowned and bowed his head.
"You will be pleased to remove your outer clothing."
"You'll be happy to take off your outer clothing."
Their hats, coats, waistcoats, and neckwear were soon removed and thrown outside the door, in the passage. The man with the candle now nodded, and the fourth man—he who had urged Grossmith to leave the wagon—produced from the pocket of his overcoat two long, murderous-looking bowie-knives, which he drew now from their leather scabbards.
Their hats, coats, vests, and ties were quickly taken off and tossed outside the door into the hallway. The guy with the candle nodded, and the fourth man—who had encouraged Grossmith to get out of the wagon—pulled out two long, deadly-looking bowie knives from the pocket of his overcoat, taking them out of their leather sheaths.
"They are exactly alike," he said, presenting one to each of the two principals—for by this time the dullest observer would have understood the nature of this meeting. It was to be a duel to the death.
"They are exactly the same," he said, handing one to each of the two main people—by this point, even the slowest observer would have realized what this meeting was about. It was going to be a duel to the death.
Each combatant took a knife, examined it critically near the candle and tested the strength of the blade and handle across his lifted knee. Their persons were then searched in turn, each by the second of the other.
Each fighter took a knife, looked it over carefully by the candle, and tested the strength of the blade and handle against his raised knee. Then, they searched each other one by one, with one serving as the second for the other.
"If it is agreeable to you, Mr. Grossmith," said the man holding the light, "you will place yourself in that corner."
"If that works for you, Mr. Grossmith," said the man holding the light, "you can stand in that corner."
He indicated the angle of the room farthest from the door, whither Grossmith retired, his second parting from him with a grasp of the hand which had nothing of cordiality in it. In the angle nearest the door Mr. Rosser stationed himself, and after a whispered consultation his second left him, joining the other near the door. At that moment the candle was suddenly extinguished, leaving all in profound darkness. This may have been done by a draught from the opened door; whatever the cause, the effect was startling.
He pointed to the corner of the room farthest from the door, where Grossmith went, parting from him for the second time with a handshake that felt anything but friendly. Mr. Rosser positioned himself in the corner closest to the door, and after a quick whispered discussion, his companion left him to join the other near the door. At that moment, the candle unexpectedly went out, plunging everyone into deep darkness. This might have been caused by a draft from the open door; whatever the reason, the effect was shocking.
"Gentlemen," said a voice which sounded strangely unfamiliar in the altered condition affecting the relations of the senses—"gentlemen, you will not move until you hear the closing of the outer door."
"Gentlemen," said a voice that sounded oddly unfamiliar in the changed circumstances affecting how we perceive things—"gentlemen, you will not move until you hear the outer door close."
A sound of trampling ensued, then the closing of the inner door; and finally the outer one closed with a concussion which shook the entire building.
A noise of footsteps followed, then the inner door shut; and finally, the outer door slammed shut with a bang that shook the whole building.
A few minutes afterward a belated farmer's boy met a light wagon which was being driven furiously toward the town of Marshall. He declared that behind the two figures on the front seat stood a third, with its hands upon the bowed shoulders of the others, who appeared to struggle vainly to free themselves from its grasp. This figure, unlike the others, was clad in white, and had undoubtedly boarded the wagon as it passed the haunted house. As the lad could boast a considerable former experience with the supernatural thereabouts his word had the weight justly due to the testimony of an expert. The story (in connection with the next day's events) eventually appeared in the Advance, with some slight literary embellishments and a concluding intimation that the gentlemen referred to would be allowed the use of the paper's columns for their version of the night's adventure. But the privilege remained without a claimant.
A few minutes later, a delayed farmer's boy encountered a light wagon speeding towards the town of Marshall. He reported that behind the two figures on the front seat stood a third figure, with its hands on the bowed shoulders of the others, who seemed to struggle hopelessly to break free from its grip. This figure, unlike the others, was dressed in white and had clearly jumped onto the wagon as it passed the haunted house. Since the boy had considerable previous experience with the supernatural in that area, his account carried the proper weight due to the testimony of an expert. The story, related to the events of the next day, eventually appeared in the Advance, with some minor literary embellishments and a final note that the gentlemen mentioned would be given the opportunity to share their version of the night's adventure in the paper. However, the privilege remained unclaimed.
II
The events that led up to this "duel in the dark" were simple enough. One evening three young men of the town of Marshall were sitting in a quiet corner of the porch of the village hotel, smoking and discussing such matters as three educated young men of a Southern village would naturally find interesting. Their names were King, Sancher, and Rosser. At a little distance, within easy hearing, but taking no part in the conversation, sat a fourth. He was a stranger to the others. They merely knew that on his arrival by the stage-coach that afternoon he had written in the hotel register the name of Robert Grossmith. He had not been observed to speak to anyone except the hotel clerk. He seemed, indeed, singularly fond of his own company—or, as the personnel of the Advance expressed it, "grossly addicted to evil associations." But then it should be said in justice to the stranger that the personnel was himself of a too convivial disposition fairly to judge one differently gifted, and had, moreover, experienced a slight rebuff in an effort at an "interview."
The events that led up to this "duel in the dark" were simple enough. One evening, three young men from the town of Marshall were sitting in a quiet corner of the village hotel porch, smoking and discussing things that three educated young men from a Southern village would naturally find interesting. Their names were King, Sancher, and Rosser. A little distance away, within earshot but not joining the conversation, sat a fourth man. He was a stranger to the others. They only knew that when he arrived by stagecoach that afternoon, he signed the hotel register with the name Robert Grossmith. He hadn’t spoken to anyone except the hotel clerk. He seemed, in fact, to really enjoy his own company—or, as the personnel of the Advance put it, "grossly addicted to evil associations." But, to be fair to the stranger, the personnel was himself too sociable to fairly judge someone with different inclinations, and he had also faced a mild rejection in an attempt at an "interview."
"I hate any kind of deformity in a woman," said King, "whether natural or—acquired. I have a theory that any physical defect has its correlative mental and moral defect."
"I can't stand any kind of imperfection in a woman," said the King, "whether it's natural or something she's developed. I believe that any physical flaw has a corresponding mental and moral flaw."
"I infer, then," said Rosser, gravely, "that a lady lacking the moral advantage of a nose would find the struggle to become Mrs. King an arduous enterprise."
"I deduce, then," said Rosser, seriously, "that a woman without the moral advantage of a nose would find the effort to become Mrs. King a challenging task."
"Of course you may put it that way," was the reply; "but, seriously, I once threw over a most charming girl on learning quite accidentally that she had suffered amputation of a toe. My conduct was brutal if you like, but if I had married that girl I should have been miserable for life and should have made her so."
"Sure, you could say it that way," was the response; "but honestly, I once dumped a really lovely girl when I found out, quite by chance, that she'd had a toe amputated. My behavior was harsh, I know, but if I had married her, I would have been unhappy for life and would have made her miserable too."
"Whereas," said Sancher, with a light laugh, "by marrying a gentleman of more liberal view she escaped with a parted throat."
"Well," Sancher said with a light laugh, "by marrying a guy with more progressive views, she got away with a split throat."
"Ah, you know to whom I refer. Yes, she married Manton, but I don't know about his liberality; I'm not sure but he cut her throat because he discovered that she lacked that excellent thing in woman, the middle toe of the right foot."
"Ah, you know who I'm talking about. Yes, she married Manton, but I have no idea about his generosity; for all I know, he could have killed her when he found out that she was missing that important thing in a woman, the middle toe on her right foot."
"Look at that chap!" said Rosser in a low voice, his eyes fixed upon the stranger.
"Check out that guy!" said Rosser quietly, his eyes locked on the stranger.
That chap was obviously listening intently to the conversation.
That guy was clearly listening closely to the conversation.
"Damn his impudence!" muttered King—"what ought we to do?"
"Damn his boldness!" muttered the King—"what should we do?"
"That's an easy one," Rosser replied, rising. "Sir," he continued, addressing the stranger, "I think it would be better if you would remove your chair to the other end of the veranda. The presence of gentlemen is evidently an unfamiliar situation to you."
"That's an easy one," Rosser said, standing up. "Sir," he continued, addressing the stranger, "I think it would be best if you moved your chair to the other end of the porch. It seems like having gentlemen around is a new experience for you."
The man sprang to his feet and strode forward with clenched hands, his face white with rage. All were now standing. Sancher stepped between the belligerents.
The man jumped to his feet and walked forward with his fists clenched, his face pale with anger. Everyone was now standing. Sancher stepped between the two confrontational parties.
"You are hasty and unjust," he said to Rosser; "this gentleman has done nothing to deserve such language."
"You’re being rash and unfair," he said to Rosser; "this man hasn’t done anything to earn that kind of talk."
But Rosser would not withdraw a word. By the custom of the country and the time there could be but one outcome to the quarrel.
But Rosser wouldn’t back down an inch. Given the customs of the country and the era, there could only be one result to the conflict.
"I demand the satisfaction due to a gentleman," said the stranger, who had become more calm. "I have not an acquaintance in this region. Perhaps you, sir," bowing to Sancher, "will be kind enough to represent me in this matter."
"I expect the respect that a gentleman deserves," said the stranger, who had become calmer. "I don't have any friends in this area. Perhaps you, sir," bowing to Sancher, "will kindly represent me in this situation."
Sancher accepted the trust—somewhat reluctantly it must be confessed, for the man's appearance and manner were not at all to his liking. King, who during the colloquy had hardly removed his eyes from the stranger's face and had not spoken a word, consented with a nod to act for Rosser, and the upshot of it was that, the principals having retired, a meeting was arranged for the next evening. The nature of the arrangements has been already disclosed. The duel with knives in a dark room was once a commoner feature of Southwestern life than it is likely to be again. How thin a veneering of "chivalry" covered the essential brutality of the code under which such encounters were possible we shall see.
Sancher reluctantly accepted the responsibility—it's fair to say he wasn't thrilled about it, as he found the man's appearance and behavior completely unappealing. King, who had barely taken his eyes off the stranger's face during their discussion and hadn’t spoken at all, nodded in agreement to represent Rosser. As a result, after the main parties left, a meeting was set for the following evening. The details of the arrangements have already been mentioned. Duels with knives in a dark room used to be a more common aspect of life in the Southwest than they are likely to be again. Just how thin the layer of "chivalry" was that masked the underlying brutality of the code that allowed for such confrontations will be revealed.
III
In the blaze of a midsummer noonday the old Manton house was hardly true to its traditions. It was of the earth, earthy. The sunshine caressed it warmly and affectionately, with evident disregard of its bad reputation. The grass greening all the expanse in its front seemed to grow, not rankly, but with a natural and joyous exuberance, and the weeds blossomed quite like plants. Full of charming lights and shadows and populous with pleasant-voiced birds, the neglected shade trees no longer struggled to run away, but bent reverently beneath their burdens of sun and song. Even in the glassless upper windows was an expression of peace and contentment, due to the light within. Over the stony fields the visible heat danced with a lively tremor incompatible with the gravity which is an attribute of the supernatural.
On a blazing midsummer noon, the old Manton house didn't quite live up to its history. It was very much of the earth. The sunshine wrapped around it warmly and lovingly, clearly ignoring its bad reputation. The grass covering the yard grew not wildly, but with a natural and joyful energy, and the weeds bloomed just like real flowers. Full of lovely lights and shadows and filled with cheerful birds, the neglected shade trees no longer tried to escape but instead bowed respectfully under the weight of the sun and song. Even in the upper windows without glass, there was a sense of peace and contentment from the light inside. Over the rocky fields, you could see the heat shimmering with a lively movement that felt totally unlike the seriousness of the supernatural.
Such was the aspect under which the place presented itself to Sheriff Adams and two other men who had come out from Marshall to look at it. One of these men was Mr. King, the sheriff's deputy; the other, whose name was Brewer, was a brother of the late Mrs. Manton. Under a beneficent law of the State relating to property which has been for a certain period abandoned by an owner whose residence cannot be ascertained, the sheriff was legal custodian of the Manton farm and appurtenances thereunto belonging. His present visit was in mere perfunctory compliance with some order of a court in which Mr. Brewer had an action to get possession of the property as heir to his deceased sister. By a mere coincidence, the visit was made on the day after the night that Deputy King had unlocked the house for another and very different purpose. His presence now was not of his own choosing: he had been ordered to accompany his superior, and at the moment could think of nothing more prudent than simulated alacrity in obedience to the command.
The place looked like this to Sheriff Adams and two other men who had come from Marshall to check it out. One of them was Mr. King, the sheriff's deputy; the other, named Brewer, was the brother of the late Mrs. Manton. According to a helpful law in the state about property abandoned for a certain time by an owner whose whereabouts are unknown, the sheriff was the legal custodian of the Manton farm and its associated properties. He was visiting now just to fulfill a court order related to Mr. Brewer's effort to claim the property as his deceased sister's heir. Coincidentally, this visit happened the day after Deputy King had unlocked the house for a totally different reason. He didn’t choose to be here; he was instructed to accompany his boss, and at that moment, he could think of nothing better than pretending to be eager to follow orders.
Carelessly opening the front door, which to his surprise was not locked, the sheriff was amazed to see, lying on the floor of the passage into which it opened, a confused heap of men's apparel. Examination showed it to consist of two hats, and the same number of coats, waistcoats, and scarves all in a remarkably good state of preservation, albeit somewhat defiled by the dust in which they lay. Mr. Brewer was equally astonished, but Mr. King's emotion is not of record. With a new and lively interest in his own actions the sheriff now unlatched and pushed open a door on the right, and the three entered. The room was apparently vacant—no; as their eyes became accustomed to the dimmer light something was visible in the farthest angle of the wall. It was a human figure—that of a man crouching close in the corner. Something in the attitude made the intruders halt when they had barely passed the threshold. The figure more and more clearly defined itself. The man was upon one knee, his back in the angle of the wall, his shoulders elevated to the level of his ears, his hands before his face, palms outward, the fingers spread and crooked like claws; the white face turned upward on the retracted neck had an expression of unutterable fright, the mouth half open, the eyes incredibly expanded. He was stone dead. Yet with the exception of a bowie-knife, which had evidently fallen from his own hand, not another object was in the room.
Carelessly opening the front door, which surprisingly wasn't locked, the sheriff was astonished to find a jumbled pile of men's clothing on the floor of the hallway. A closer look revealed two hats, two coats, two waistcoats, and two scarves, all in surprisingly good condition, although they were a bit dirty from lying in the dust. Mr. Brewer was just as shocked, but Mr. King's reaction isn't noted. With a newfound and keen interest in what he was doing, the sheriff then unlatched and pushed open a door to the right, and the three of them stepped in. The room seemed empty—no; as their eyes adjusted to the dim light, something became visible in the far corner of the wall. It was a human figure—a man hunched down in the corner. Something about his position made the intruders stop just as they stepped inside. The figure became clearer. The man was on one knee, his back against the wall, shoulders raised up to his ears, hands in front of his face, palms out, fingers spread and bent like claws; his white face tilted upward on his retracted neck showed an expression of utter terror, mouth half-open, eyes unbelievably wide. He was dead. Except for a bowie knife that had clearly fallen from his own hand, there was nothing else in the room.
In thick dust that covered the floor were some confused footprints near the door and along the wall through which it opened. Along one of the adjoining walls, too, past the boarded-up windows was the trail made by the man himself in reaching his corner. Instinctively in approaching the body the three men followed that trail. The sheriff grasped one of the outthrown arms; it was as rigid as iron, and the application of a gentle force rocked the entire body without altering the relation of its parts. Brewer, pale with excitement, gazed intently into the distorted face. "God of mercy!" he suddenly cried, "it is Manton!"
In the thick dust covering the floor, there were some confused footprints near the door and along the wall where it opened. Along one of the adjoining walls, past the boarded-up windows, was the trail made by the man himself as he reached his corner. Instinctively, as they approached the body, the three men followed that trail. The sheriff took hold of one of the outstretched arms; it was as stiff as iron, and when he applied gentle force, the entire body moved without changing the position of its parts. Brewer, pale with excitement, stared intently at the distorted face. "God of mercy!" he suddenly exclaimed, "it’s Manton!"
"You are right," said King, with an evident attempt at calmness: "I knew Manton. He then wore a full beard and his hair long, but this is he."
"You’re right," said King, trying to stay calm. "I knew Manton. He had a full beard and long hair back then, but that's definitely him."
He might have added: "I recognized him when he challenged Rosser. I told Rosser and Sancher who he was before we played him this horrible trick. When Rosser left this dark room at our heels, forgetting his outer clothing in the excitement, and driving away with us in his shirt sleeves—all through the discreditable proceedings we knew with whom we were dealing, murderer and coward that he was!"
He might have added: "I recognized him when he confronted Rosser. I told Rosser and Sancher who he was before we pulled this awful trick on him. When Rosser left this dark room behind us, forgetting his coat in the excitement, and drove away with us in his shirt sleeves—all through this disgraceful situation we knew exactly who we were dealing with, murderer and coward that he was!"
But nothing of this did Mr. King say. With his better light he was trying to penetrate the mystery of the man's death. That he had not once moved from the corner where he had been stationed; that his posture was that of neither attack nor defense; that he had dropped his weapon; that he had obviously perished of sheer horror of something that he saw—these were circumstances which Mr. King's disturbed intelligence could not rightly comprehend.
But Mr. King didn't say any of this. With his better light, he was trying to figure out the mystery of the man's death. The fact that the man hadn't moved from the corner where he had been positioned, that his stance was neither offensive nor defensive, that he had dropped his weapon, and that he had clearly died from sheer terror of something he saw—these were details that Mr. King's troubled mind couldn't fully grasp.
Groping in intellectual darkness for a clew to his maze of doubt, his gaze, directed mechanically downward in the way of one who ponders momentous matters, fell upon something which, there, in the light of day and in the presence of living companions, affected him with terror. In the dust of years that lay thick upon the floor—leading from the door by which they had entered, straight across the room to within a yard of Manton's crouching corpse—were three parallel lines of footprints—light but definite impressions of bare feet, the outer ones those of small children, the inner a woman's. From the point at which they ended they did not return; they pointed all one way. Brewer, who had observed them at the same moment, was leaning forward in an attitude of rapt attention, horribly pale.
Groping in intellectual darkness for a clue to his maze of doubt, he mechanically directed his gaze downward like someone deep in thought about serious matters. There, in the light of day and surrounded by living companions, he saw something that filled him with terror. In the thick dust that had settled on the floor—leading from the door they had entered through, straight across the room to within a yard of Manton's crouching corpse—were three parallel lines of footprints—light but clear impressions of bare feet, with the outer ones belonging to small children and the inner ones to a woman. From the point where they ended, they didn’t turn back; they all pointed in one direction. Brewer, who had noticed them at the same moment, leaned forward in rapt attention, looking horribly pale.
"Look at that!" he cried, pointing with both hands at the nearest print of the woman's right foot, where she had apparently stopped and stood. "The middle toe is missing—it was Gertrude!"
"Check that out!" he shouted, pointing with both hands at the nearest print of the woman's right foot, where she had clearly stopped and stood. "The middle toe is missing—it was Gertrude!"
Gertrude was the late Mrs. Manton, sister to Mr. Brewer.
Gertrude was the late Mrs. Manton, sister of Mr. Brewer.
The Shell of Sense
By OLIVIA HOWARD DUNBARBy Olivia Howard Dunbar
From Harper's Magazine, December, 1908. By permission of Harper and Brothers and Olivia Howard Dunbar.
From Harper's Magazine, December 1908. By permission of Harper and Brothers and Olivia Howard Dunbar.
It was intolerably unchanged, the dim, dark-toned room. In an agony of recognition my glance ran from one to another of the comfortable, familiar things that my earthly life had been passed among. Incredibly distant from it all as I essentially was. I noted sharply that the very gaps that I myself had left in my bookshelves still stood unfilled; that the delicate fingers of the ferns that I had tended were still stretched futilely toward the light; that the soft agreeable chuckle of my own little clock, like some elderly woman with whom conversation has become automatic, was undiminished.
It was painfully unchanged, the dim, dark-toned room. In a moment of realization, my gaze moved from one to another of the comfortable, familiar things that had surrounded my earthly life. I felt incredibly distant from it all. I sharply noted that the very spaces I had left empty on my bookshelves were still unfilled; that the delicate fingers of the ferns I had cared for were still reaching helplessly toward the light; that the soft, pleasant tick of my little clock, like an elderly woman with whom conversation had become routine, was still the same.
Unchanged—or so it seemed at first. But there were certain trivial differences that shortly smote me. The windows were closed too tightly; for I had always kept the house very cool, although I had known that Theresa preferred warm rooms. And my work-basket was in disorder; it was preposterous that so small a thing should hurt me so. Then, for this was my first experience of the shadow-folded transition, the odd alteration of my emotions bewildered me. For at one moment the place seemed so humanly familiar, so distinctly my own proper envelope, that for love of it I could have laid my cheek against the wall; while in the next I was miserably conscious of strange new shrillnesses. How could they be endured—and had I ever endured them?—those harsh influences that I now perceived at the window; light and color so blinding that they obscured the form of the wind, tumult so discordant that one could scarcely hear the roses open in the garden below?
Unchanged—or so it seemed at first. But there were certain small differences that soon struck me. The windows were closed too tightly; I had always kept the house cool, even though I knew Theresa preferred warmer rooms. And my work-basket was messy; it was silly that such a minor thing could bother me so much. Then, since this was my first experience of this confusing emotional shift, the strange change in my feelings left me puzzled. At one moment, the place felt so comfortably familiar, so clearly my own space, that I could have pressed my cheek against the wall out of love for it; yet in the next, I was painfully aware of new, harsh sounds. How could I stand them—and had I ever been able to?—those jarring influences I now noticed at the window; light and color so dazzling that they hid the form of the wind, chaos so noisy that I could barely hear the roses opening in the garden below?
But Theresa did not seem to mind any of these things. Disorder, it is true, the dear child had never minded. She was sitting all this time at my desk—at my desk—occupied, I could only too easily surmise how. In the light of my own habits of precision it was plain that that sombre correspondence should have been attended to before; but I believe that I did not really reproach Theresa, for I knew that her notes, when she did write them, were perhaps less perfunctory than mine. She finished the last one as I watched her, and added it to the heap of black-bordered envelopes that lay on the desk. Poor girl! I saw now that they had cost her tears. Yet, living beside her day after day, year after year, I had never discovered what deep tenderness my sister possessed. Toward each other it had been our habit to display only a temperate affection, and I remember having always thought it distinctly fortunate for Theresa, since she was denied my happiness, that she could live so easily and pleasantly without emotions of the devastating sort.... And now, for the first time, I was really to behold her.... Could it be Theresa, after all, this tangle of subdued turbulences? Let no one suppose that it is an easy thing to bear, the relentlessly lucid understanding that I then first exercised; or that, in its first enfranchisement, the timid vision does not yearn for its old screens and mists.
But Theresa didn’t seem to care about any of this. Disorder, it’s true, had never bothered the dear child. She was sitting at my desk—at my desk—clearly engaged, and I could easily guess how. Given my own habits of precision, it was obvious that the serious correspondence should have been dealt with earlier; but I didn’t really blame Theresa, because I knew that her notes, when she finally wrote them, were probably less routine than mine. She finished the last one while I watched her, adding it to the pile of black-bordered envelopes on the desk. Poor girl! I realized that they had cost her tears. Yet, living beside her day after day, year after year, I had never discovered how deep my sister’s tenderness was. We had always shown each other only a moderate affection, and I had always thought it was indeed fortunate for Theresa, since she was deprived of my happiness, that she could go on living so easily and happily without overwhelming emotions... And now, for the first time, I was truly seeing her.... Could this really be Theresa, this mix of subdued turbulence? Let no one think it’s an easy thing to bear, the clear understanding I first experienced then; or that, in its initial freedom, the timid vision doesn’t long for its old screens and fog.
Suddenly, as Theresa sat there, her head, filled with its tender thoughts of me, held in her gentle hands, I felt Allan's step on the carpeted stair outside. Theresa felt it, too,—but how? for it was not audible. She gave a start, swept the black envelopes out of sight, and pretended to be writing in a little book. Then I forgot to watch her any longer in my absorption in Allan's coming. It was he, of course, that I was awaiting. It was for him that I had made this first lonely, frightened effort to return, to recover.... It was not that I had supposed he would allow himself to recognize my presence, for I had long been sufficiently familiar with his hard and fast denials of the invisible. He was so reasonable always, so sane—so blindfolded. But I had hoped that because of his very rejection of the ether that now contained me I could perhaps all the more safely, the more secretly, watch him, linger near him. He was near now, very near,—but why did Theresa, sitting there in the room that had never belonged to her, appropriate for herself his coming? It was so manifestly I who had drawn him, I whom he had come to seek.
Suddenly, as Theresa sat there, her head filled with gentle thoughts of me, held in her delicate hands, I sensed Allan's footsteps on the carpeted stairs outside. Theresa sensed it too—but how? It wasn’t loud. She jumped, quickly pushed the black envelopes out of view, and pretended to be writing in a little notebook. Then I stopped paying attention to her, absorbed in the anticipation of Allan's arrival. It was he, of course, whom I was waiting for. It was for him that I had made this first lonely, scared attempt to return and recover... I didn’t really think he would acknowledge my presence, as I had long been familiar with his firm denials of the unseen. He was always so reasonable, so sane—so blindfolded. But I hoped that because of his rejection of the ether that now surrounded me, I could perhaps watch him more safely, more secretly, and linger close by. He was near now, very near—but why did Theresa, sitting there in the room that never belonged to her, act as if his arrival was for her? It was so clearly me who had drawn him in, me whom he had come to find.
The door was ajar. He knocked softly at it "Are you there, Theresa?" he called. He expected to find her, then, there in my room? I shrank back, fearing, almost, to stay.
The door was slightly open. He knocked gently on it. "Are you there, Theresa?" he called out. He thought he would find her there in my room. I stepped back, almost afraid to stay.
"I shall have finished in a moment," Theresa told him, and he sat down to wait for her.
"I'll be done in a minute," Theresa told him, and he sat down to wait for her.
No spirit still unreleased can understand the pang that I felt with Allan sitting almost within my touch. Almost irresistibly the wish beset me to let him for an instant feel my nearness. Then I checked myself, remembering—oh, absurd, piteous human fears!—that my too unguarded closeness might alarm him. It was not so remote a time that I myself had known them, those blind, uncouth timidities. I came, therefore, somewhat nearer—but I did not touch him. I merely leaned toward him and with incredible softness whispered his name. That much I could not have forborne; the spell of life was still too strong in me.
No spirit that hasn't been released can understand the ache I felt with Allan sitting so close, almost within reach. The urge to let him feel my presence was almost overwhelming. But I stopped myself, remembering—oh, those silly, pitiful human fears!—that my unguarded closeness might scare him. It wasn't that long ago that I had experienced those blind, clumsy feelings myself. So, I moved a little closer—but I didn't touch him. I simply leaned in and softly whispered his name. I couldn't hold back that much; the pull of life was still too strong in me.
But it gave him no comfort, no delight. "Theresa!" he called, in a voice dreadful with alarm—and in that instant the last veil fell, and desperately, scarce believingly, I beheld how it stood between them, those two.
But it brought him no comfort, no joy. "Theresa!" he called, in a voice filled with panic—and in that moment the last barrier dropped, and desperately, hardly believing it, I saw how it stood between them, those two.
She turned to him that gentle look of hers.
She gave him that gentle look of hers.
"Forgive me," came from him hoarsely. "But I had suddenly the most—unaccountable sensation. Can there be too many windows open? There is such a—chill—about."
"Forgive me," he said hoarsely. "But I suddenly had the most unexplainable feeling. Can there be too many windows open? There's such a chill in the air."
"There are no windows open," Theresa assured him. "I took care to shut out the chill. You are not well, Allan!"
"There are no windows open," Theresa assured him. "I made sure to keep the cold out. You’re not feeling well, Allan!"
"Perhaps not." He embraced the suggestion. "And yet I feel no illness apart from this abominable sensation that persists—persists.... Theresa, you must tell me: do I fancy it, or do you, too, feel—something—strange here?"
"Maybe not." He accepted the idea. "But still, I don’t feel sick aside from this horrible feeling that won’t go away—won’t go away.... Theresa, you have to tell me: am I imagining this, or do you also feel—something—off here?"
"Oh, there is something very strange here," she half sobbed. "There always will be."
"Oh, there's something really weird going on here," she half sobbed. "There always will be."
"Good heavens, child, I didn't mean that!" He rose and stood looking about him. "I know, of course, that you have your beliefs, and I respect them, but you know equally well that I have nothing of the sort! So—don't let us conjure up anything inexplicable."
"Good heavens, kid, I didn't mean that!" He got up and looked around. "I understand that you have your beliefs, and I respect that, but you also know that I have nothing like that! So—let's not create anything unexplainable."
I stayed impalpably, imponderably near him. Wretched and bereft though I was, I could not have left him while he stood denying me.
I stayed quietly, almost weightlessly near him. Even though I felt miserable and lost, I couldn't leave him while he was rejecting me.
"What I mean," he went on, in his low, distinct voice, "is a special, an almost ominous sense of cold. Upon my soul, Theresa,"—he paused—"if I were superstitious, if I were a woman, I should probably imagine it to seem—a presence!"
"What I mean," he continued, in his low, clear voice, "is a special, almost eerie sense of cold. Honestly, Theresa,"—he paused—"if I were superstitious, if I were a woman, I’d probably think it felt like—a presence!"
He spoke the last word very faintly, but Theresa shrank from it nevertheless.
He said the last word very softly, but Theresa recoiled from it anyway.
"Don't say that, Allan!" she cried out. "Don't think it, I beg of you! I've tried so hard myself not to think it—and you must help me. You know it is only perturbed, uneasy spirits that wander. With her it is quite different. She has always been so happy—she must still be."
"Don't say that, Allan!" she shouted. "Please don't think it! I've worked so hard not to think it myself—and you need to help me. You know that only troubled, restless spirits wander. With her, it’s completely different. She's always been so happy—she has to still be."
I listened, stunned, to Theresa's sweet dogmatism. From what blind distances came her confident misapprehensions, how dense, both for her and for Allan, was the separating vapor!
I listened, shocked, to Theresa's charming certainty. From what distant ignorance did her confident misunderstandings come, and how heavy was the fog separating her and Allan!
Allan frowned. "Don't take me literally, Theresa," he explained; and I, who a moment before had almost touched him, now held myself aloof and heard him with a strange untried pity, new born in me. "I'm not speaking of what you call—spirits. It's something much more terrible." He allowed his head to sink heavily on his chest. "If I did not positively know that I had never done her any harm, I should suppose myself to be suffering from guilt, from remorse.... Theresa, you know better than I, perhaps. Was she content, always? Did she believe in me?"
Allan frowned. "Don't take me literally, Theresa," he said. I, who just moments ago had almost touched him, now kept my distance and listened to him with a strange, unfamiliar pity that had just emerged in me. "I'm not talking about what you call—spirits. It's something much more terrifying." He let his head drop heavily onto his chest. "If I didn't know for sure that I never harmed her, I would think I'm feeling guilty, full of remorse... Theresa, you might know better than I do. Was she always happy? Did she have faith in me?"
"Believe in you?—when she knew you to be so good!—when you adored her!"
"Believe in you?—when she knew how amazing you were!—when you loved her so much!"
"She thought that? She said it? Then what in Heaven's name ails me?—unless it is all as you believe, Theresa, and she knows now what she didn't know then, poor dear, and minds——"
"She thought that? She said it? Then what the heck is wrong with me?—unless it's all true, Theresa, and she knows now what she didn't back then, poor thing, and is upset——"
"Minds what? What do you mean, Allan?"
"Minds what? What are you talking about, Allan?"
I, who with my perhaps illegitimate advantage saw so clear, knew that he had not meant to tell her: I did him that justice, even in my first jealousy. If I had not tortured him so by clinging near him, he would not have told her. But the moment came, and overflowed, and he did tell her—passionate, tumultuous story that it was. During all our life together, Allan's and mine, he had spared me, had kept me wrapped in the white cloak of an unblemished loyalty. But it would have been kinder, I now bitterly thought, if, like many husbands, he had years ago found for the story he now poured forth some clandestine listener; I should not have known. But he was faithful and good, and so he waited till I, mute and chained, was there to hear him. So well did I know him, as I thought, so thoroughly had he once been mine, that I saw it in his eyes, heard it in his voice, before the words came. And yet, when it came, it lashed me with the whips of an unbearable humiliation. For I, his wife, had not known how greatly he could love.
I, who perhaps had an unfair advantage and saw things so clearly, knew that he didn't intend to tell her: I even recognized this in my initial jealousy. If I hadn't tormented him by staying close, he wouldn't have told her. But the moment came, and it overflowed, and he did tell her—such a passionate, tumultuous story it was. Throughout our life together, Allan's and mine, he had protected me, keeping me wrapped in the white cloak of unblemished loyalty. But now I bitterly thought it would have been kinder if, like many husbands, he had found some secret listener for the story he now shared years ago; I would have remained oblivious. Instead, he was faithful and good, and he waited until I, mute and trapped, was there to hear him. I thought I knew him so well, he had once been entirely mine, that I saw it in his eyes, heard it in his voice, before the words came. Yet, when the words did come, they struck me with the lashes of unbearable humiliation. For I, his wife, had no idea how deeply he could love.
And that Theresa, soft little traitor, should, in her still way, have cared too! Where was the iron in her, I moaned within my stricken spirit, where the steadfastness? From the moment he bade her, she turned her soft little petals up to him—and my last delusion was spent. It was intolerable; and none the less so that in another moment she had, prompted by some belated thought of me, renounced him. Allan was hers, yet she put him from her; and it was my part to watch them both.
And that Theresa, the soft little traitor, should care too, in her quiet way! Where was her strength, I lamented within my broken spirit, where was her determination? The moment he asked her, she turned her delicate petals toward him—and my last hope was gone. It was unbearable; and even more so because in a moment, prompted by some late thought of me, she rejected him. Allan belonged to her, yet she pushed him away; and I was left to watch them both.
Then in the anguish of it all I remembered, awkward, untutored spirit that I was, that I now had the Great Recourse. Whatever human things were unbearable, I had no need to bear. I ceased, therefore, to make the effort that kept me with them. The pitiless poignancy was dulled, the sounds and the light ceased, the lovers faded from me, and again I was mercifully drawn into the dim, infinite spaces.
Then, in all the pain of it, I remembered, an awkward, clueless person that I was, that I now had the Great Recourse. Whatever human struggles were too much to handle, I didn’t have to endure them anymore. So, I stopped trying to hold on to them. The sharp sorrow faded, the sounds and the light disappeared, the lovers slipped away from me, and once again I was gratefully pulled into the dim, endless spaces.
There followed a period whose length I cannot measure and during which I was able to make no progress in the difficult, dizzying experience of release. "Earth-bound" my jealousy relentlessly kept me. Though my two dear ones had forsworn each other, I could not trust them, for theirs seemed to me an affectation of a more than mortal magnanimity. Without a ghostly sentinel to prick them with sharp fears and recollections, who could believe that they would keep to it? Of the efficacy of my own vigilance, so long as I might choose to exercise it, I could have no doubt, for I had by this time come to have a dreadful exultation in the new power that lived in me. Repeated delicate experiment had taught me how a touch or a breath, a wish or a whisper, could control Allan's acts, could keep him from Theresa. I could manifest myself as palely, as transiently, as a thought. I could produce the merest necessary flicker, like the shadow of a just-opened leaf, on his trembling, tortured consciousness. And these unrealized perceptions of me he interpreted, as I had known that he would, as his soul's inevitable penance. He had come to believe that he had done evil in silently loving Theresa all these years, and it was my vengeance to allow him to believe this, to prod him ever to believe it afresh.
There was a time whose length I can't measure, during which I made no progress in the challenging, disorienting experience of letting go. My jealousy kept me "earth-bound" relentlessly. Even though my two loved ones had sworn off each other, I couldn't trust them, as their commitment seemed like a show of more than human generosity. Without a ghostly watchman to poke them with sharp fears and memories, who could believe they would stick to it? I had no doubt about the effectiveness of my own vigilance, as long as I chose to exercise it, because by this time I had developed a frightening thrill in the new power that lived within me. Repeated careful experimentation had taught me how a touch or a breath, a wish or a whisper, could influence Allan's actions, could keep him away from Theresa. I could present myself as faintly, as momentarily, as a thought. I could create the slightest necessary flicker, like the shadow of a freshly opened leaf, on his trembling, tortured mind. And these unacknowledged perceptions of me he interpreted, as I had expected, as his soul's unavoidable punishment. He had come to believe that he had wronged by silently loving Theresa all these years, and it was my revenge to let him believe this, to push him to believe it again and again.
I am conscious that this frame of mind was not continuous in me. For I remember, too, that when Allan and Theresa were safely apart and sufficiently miserable I loved them as dearly as I ever had, more dearly perhaps. For it was impossible that I should not perceive, in my new emancipation, that they were, each of them, something more and greater than the two beings I had once ignorantly pictured them. For years they had practiced a selflessness of which I could once scarcely have conceived, and which even now I could only admire without entering into its mystery. While I had lived solely for myself, these two divine creatures had lived exquisitely for me. They had granted me everything, themselves nothing. For my undeserving sake their lives had been a constant torment of renunciation—a torment they had not sought to alleviate by the exchange of a single glance of understanding. There were even marvelous moments when, from the depths of my newly informed heart, I pitied them—poor creatures, who, withheld from the infinite solaces that I had come to know, were still utterly within that
I’m aware that this mindset didn’t stay with me all the time. I also remember that when Allan and Theresa were safely apart and pretty miserable, I loved them just as much as I always had, maybe even more. I realized, in my newfound freedom, that they were each something more and greater than the two people I had once naively imagined them to be. For years, they had shown a selflessness I could barely comprehend, and even now, I could only admire it without fully understanding it. While I had lived entirely for myself, these two amazing people had lived beautifully for me. They had given me everything, yet kept nothing for themselves. For my unworthy benefit, their lives had been a constant struggle of giving things up—a struggle they hadn’t tried to ease with even a single look of understanding. There were even incredible moments when, deep in my newly awakened heart, I felt sorry for them—poor souls, who, denied the endless comforts that I had come to know, were still completely within that.
Shell of sense
Mindset
So frail, so piteously contrived for pain.
So weak, so sadly designed for suffering.
Within it, yes; yet exercising qualities that so sublimely transcended it. Yet the shy, hesitating compassion that thus had birth in me was far from being able to defeat the earlier, earthlier emotion. The two, I recognized, were in a sort of conflict; and I, regarding it, assumed that the conflict would never end; that for years, as Allan and Theresa reckoned time, I should be obliged to withhold myself from the great spaces and linger suffering, grudging, shamed, where they lingered.
Inside, yes; but also showing qualities that went way beyond it. However, the timid, uncertain compassion that was born in me couldn’t compete with the earlier, more basic feelings. I realized that the two were in a kind of conflict, and I assumed this conflict would never be resolved; that for years, as Allan and Theresa measured time, I would have to hold myself back from the vastness and remain in suffering, begrudging, ashamed, where they stayed.
It can never have been explained, I suppose, what, to devitalized perception such as mine, the contact of mortal beings with each other appears to be. Once to have exercised this sense-freed perception is to realize that the gift of prophecy, although the subject of such frequent marvel, is no longer mysterious. The merest glance of our sensitive and uncloyed vision can detect the strength of the relation between two beings, and therefore instantly calculate its duration. If you see a heavy weight suspended from a slender string, you can know, without any wizardry, that in a few moments the string will snap; well, such, if you admit the analogy, is prophecy, is foreknowledge. And it was thus that I saw it with Theresa and Allan. For it was perfectly visible to me that they would very little longer have the strength to preserve, near each other, the denuded impersonal relation that they, and that I, behind them, insisted on; and that they would have to separate. It was my sister, perhaps the more sensitive, who first realized this. It had now become possible for me to observe them almost constantly, the effort necessary to visit them had so greatly diminished; so that I watched her, poor, anguished girl, prepare to leave him. I saw each reluctant movement that she made. I saw her eyes, worn from self-searching; I heard her step grown timid from inexplicable fears; I entered her very heart and heard its pitiful, wild beating. And still I did not interfere.
I guess it can never be explained how, to someone like me with a dulled perception, the interactions between mortal beings seem. Once you’ve experienced a liberated sense of perception, you understand that the gift of prophecy—though often marveled at—is no longer a mystery. Just a brief look from our sensitive, untainted vision can reveal the strength of the bond between two people, allowing us to instantly gauge how long it might last. If you see a heavy weight hanging from a thin string, you can tell, without any magic, that the string will break in a moment; well, that's what prophecy and foreknowledge are like. That's how I saw things with Theresa and Allan. It was clear to me that they wouldn't be able to maintain their stripped-down impersonal relationship, which they, along with me, tried to uphold for much longer, and that they would have to part ways. My sister, perhaps the more perceptive one, was the first to sense this. I was now able to observe them almost all the time; the effort to visit had become significantly less, allowing me to watch her, the poor, tortured girl, get ready to leave him. I saw every hesitant movement she made. I noticed her eyes, weary from self-examination; I heard her steps, now timid from unexplainable fears; I connected with her very heart and felt its pitiful, frantic beating. And still, I didn’t interfere.
For at this time I had a wonderful, almost demoniacal sense of disposing of matters to suit my own selfish will. At any moment I could have checked their miseries, could have restored happiness and peace. Yet it gave me, and I could weep to admit it, a monstrous joy to know that Theresa thought she was leaving Allan of her own free intention, when it was I who was contriving, arranging, insisting.... And yet she wretchedly felt my presence near her; I am certain of that.
At this moment, I had an amazing, almost wicked feeling of being able to control things to satisfy my own selfish desires. At any time, I could have stopped their suffering and brought back happiness and peace. Yet it filled me, and I’m ashamed to say it, with a twisted joy to know that Theresa believed she was leaving Allan by her own choice, when it was actually me who was plotting, organizing, and pushing for it.... And still, she sadly sensed my presence close to her; I’m sure of that.
A few days before the time of her intended departure my sister told Allan that she must speak with him after dinner. Our beautiful old house branched out from a circular hall with great arched doors at either end; and it was through the rear doorway that always in summer, after dinner, we passed out into the garden adjoining. As usual, therefore, when the hour came, Theresa led the way. That dreadful daytime brilliance that in my present state I found so hard to endure was now becoming softer. A delicate, capricious twilight breeze danced inconsequently through languidly whispering leaves. Lovely pale flowers blossomed like little moons in the dusk, and over them the breath of mignonette hung heavily. It was a perfect place—and it had so long been ours, Allan's and mine. It made me restless and a little wicked that those two should be there together now.
A few days before she was set to leave, my sister told Allan that she needed to talk to him after dinner. Our beautiful old house had a circular hall with large arched doors on both ends, and it was through the back door that we always went out to the garden in the summer after dinner. So, when the time came, Theresa led the way as usual. The harsh daylight that I found so hard to deal with was starting to soften. A gentle, playful twilight breeze danced through the softly whispering leaves. Beautiful pale flowers bloomed like little moons in the dim light, and the fragrance of mignonette hung thickly over them. It was a perfect place—and it had been ours, Allan's and mine, for so long. It made me feel restless and a little mischievous to see those two together now.
For a little they walked about together, speaking of common, daily things. Then suddenly Theresa burst out:
For a while, they walked around together, chatting about everyday stuff. Then suddenly, Theresa exclaimed:
"I am going away, Allan. I have stayed to do everything that needed to be done. Now your mother will be here to care for you, and it is time for me to go."
"I'm leaving, Allan. I've stayed to take care of everything that needed to be done. Now your mom will be here to look after you, and it's time for me to go."
He stared at her and stood still. Theresa had been there so long, she so definitely, to his mind, belonged there. And she was, as I also had jealously known, so lovely there, the small, dark, dainty creature, in the old hall, on the wide staircases, in the garden.... Life there without Theresa, even the intentionally remote, the perpetually renounced Theresa—he had not dreamed of it, he could not, so suddenly, conceive of it.
He stared at her and stayed still. Theresa had been there so long that, in his mind, she completely belonged there. And she was, as I also had envied, so beautiful there—the small, dark, delicate figure, in the old hall, on the wide staircases, in the garden.... Life there without Theresa, even the purposely distant, the always rejected Theresa—he had never imagined it, he couldn’t, so suddenly, grasp it.
"Sit here," he said, and drew her down beside him on a bench, "and tell me what it means, why you are going. Is it because of something that I have been—have done?"
"Sit here," he said, pulling her down next to him on a bench, "and tell me what it means, why you’re leaving. Is it because of something I’ve been—something I’ve done?"
She hesitated. I wondered if she would dare tell him. She looked out and away from him, and he waited long for her to speak.
She paused. I wondered if she would actually tell him. She gazed off, avoiding him, and he waited a long time for her to say something
The pale stars were sliding into their places. The whispering of the leaves was almost hushed. All about them it was still and shadowy and sweet. It was that wonderful moment when, for lack of a visible horizon, the not yet darkened world seems infinitely greater—a moment when anything can happen, anything be believed in. To me, watching, listening, hovering, there came a dreadful purpose and a dreadful courage. Suppose for one moment, Theresa should not only feel, but see me—would she dare to tell him then?
The pale stars were settling into their spots. The whispering of the leaves was almost silent. Everything around them was calm, shadowy, and sweet. It was that amazing moment when, because there was no visible horizon, the not yet dark world feels endlessly bigger—a moment when anything can happen, and anything can be believed in. As I watched, listened, and lingered, a terrible purpose and a fierce courage came over me. What if, for just a moment, Theresa not only felt me, but actually saw me—would she then have the courage to tell him?
There came a brief space of terrible effort, all my fluttering, uncertain forces strained to the utmost. The instant of my struggle was endlessly long and the transition seemed to take place outside me—as one sitting in a train, motionless, sees the leagues of earth float by. And then, in a bright, terrible flash I knew I had achieved it—I had attained visibility. Shuddering, insubstantial, but luminously apparent, I stood there before them. And for the instant that I maintained the visible state I looked straight into Theresa's soul.
There was a brief moment of intense effort, with all my shaky, uncertain energy pushed to the limit. The moment of my struggle felt incredibly long, and the change seemed to happen outside of me—like someone sitting in a train, still, watching the miles of landscape zip by. Then, in a bright, shocking flash, I realized I had done it—I had become visible. Trembling, ethereal, but clearly present, I stood there before them. And for the brief moment I stayed in that visible state, I looked directly into Theresa's soul.
She gave a cry. And then, thing of silly, cruel impulses that I was, I saw what I had done. The very thing that I wished to avert I had precipitated. For Allan, in his sudden terror and pity, had bent and caught her in his arms. For the first time they were together; and it was I who had brought them.
She let out a scream. And then, being the silly, cruel person that I was, I realized what I had done. The exact thing I wanted to prevent had actually happened. Allan, in his sudden fear and sympathy, had leaned down and picked her up in his arms. For the first time, they were together; and it was I who had made this happen.
Then, to his whispered urging to tell the reason of her cry, Theresa said:
Then, in response to his quiet insistence to explain why she was crying, Theresa said:
"Frances was here. You did not see her, standing there, under the lilacs, with no smile on her face?"
"Frances was here. Didn’t you see her, standing there, under the lilacs, with a blank look on her face?"
"My dear, my dear!" was all that Allan said. I had so long now lived invisibly with them, he knew that she was right.
"My dear, my dear!" was all that Allan said. I had lived invisibly with them for such a long time now that he knew she was right.
"I suppose you know what it means?" she asked him, calmly.
"I guess you know what that means?" she asked him, calmly.
"Dear Theresa," Allan said, slowly, "if you and I should go away somewhere, could we not evade all this ghostliness? And will you come with me?"
"Dear Theresa," Allan said slowly, "if you and I went away somewhere, could we escape all this spookiness? And will you come with me?"
"Distance would not banish her," my sister confidently asserted. And then she said, softly: "Have you thought what a lonely, awesome thing it must be to be so newly dead? Pity her, Allan. We who are warm and alive should pity her. She loves you still,—that is the meaning of it all, you know—and she wants us to understand that for that reason we must keep apart. Oh, it was so plain in her white face as she stood there. And you did not see her?"
"Distance wouldn't drive her away," my sister confidently said. Then she added softly, "Have you considered how lonely and overwhelming it must be to be newly dead? We should feel sorry for her, Allan. We who are warm and alive should pity her. She still loves you—that's what it all means—and she wants us to understand that we need to stay apart for that reason. Oh, it was so clear in her pale face as she stood there. And you didn't see her?"
"It was your face that I saw," Allan solemnly told her—oh, how different he had grown from the Allan that I had known!—"and yours is the only face that I shall ever see." And again he drew her to him.
"It was your face that I saw," Allan said seriously to her—oh, how much he had changed from the Allan I once knew!—"and yours is the only face I will ever see." And again he pulled her close to him.
She sprang from him. "You are defying her, Allan!" she cried. "And you must not. It is her right to keep us apart, if she wishes. It must be as she insists. I shall go, as I told you. And, Allan, I beg of you, leave me the courage to do as she demands!"
She jumped away from him. "You’re going against her, Allan!" she shouted. "And you shouldn’t. It’s her right to separate us if she wants to. It has to be the way she says. I'm leaving, like I told you. And, Allan, please give me the strength to do what she asks!"
They stood facing each other in the deep dusk, and the wounds that I had dealt them gaped red and accusing. "We must pity her," Theresa had said. And as I remembered that extraordinary speech, and saw the agony in her face, and the greater agony in Allan's, there came the great irreparable cleavage between mortality and me. In a swift, merciful flame the last of my mortal emotions—gross and tenacious they must have been—was consumed. My cold grasp of Allan loosened and a new unearthly love of him bloomed in my heart.
They stood facing each other in the fading light, and the wounds I had inflicted on them were open and glaring. "We have to feel sorry for her," Theresa had said. As I recalled that powerful speech and saw the pain in her face, and the deeper pain in Allan's, I felt a profound separation between myself and humanity. In a quick, merciful moment, the last of my human emotions—whatever they were—was burned away. My tight hold on Allan relaxed, and a new, otherworldly love for him blossomed in my heart.
I was now, however, in a difficulty with which my experience in the newer state was scarcely sufficient to deal. How could I make it plain to Allan and Theresa that I wished to bring them together, to heal the wounds that I had made?
I was now, however, in a situation that my experience in this new state was hardly enough to handle. How could I make it clear to Allan and Theresa that I wanted to bring them together, to mend the wounds I had caused?
Pityingly, remorsefully, I lingered near them all that night and the next day. And by that time had brought myself to the point of a great determination. In the little time that was left, before Theresa should be gone and Allan bereft and desolate, I saw the one way that lay open to me to convince them of my acquiescence in their destiny.
Sadly and regretfully, I stayed close to them all night and the next day. By then, I had reached a strong decision. In the short time left before Theresa would leave and Allan would be left alone and heartbroken, I realized the one way I could show them that I accepted their fate.
In the deepest darkness and silence of the next night I made a greater effort than it will ever be necessary for me to make again. When they think of me, Allan and Theresa, I pray now that they will recall what I did that night, and that my thousand frustrations and selfishnesses may shrivel and be blown from their indulgent memories.
In the deepest darkness and silence of the next night, I put in more effort than I will ever need to again. When Allan and Theresa think of me, I hope they remember what I did that night, and that my countless frustrations and selfishness fade away from their kind memories.
Yet the following morning, as she had planned, Theresa appeared at breakfast dressed for her journey. Above in her room there were the sounds of departure. They spoke little during the brief meal, but when it was ended Allan said:
Yet the following morning, just as she had planned, Theresa showed up for breakfast ready for her trip. Above in her room, the sounds of leaving could be heard. They talked very little during the quick meal, but when it was over, Allan said:
"Theresa, there is half an hour before you go. Will you come upstairs with me? I had a dream that I must tell you of."
"Theresa, there's half an hour before you leave. Will you come upstairs with me? I had a dream I need to tell you about."
"Allan!" She looked at him, frightened, but went with him. "It was of Frances you dreamed," she said, quietly, as they entered the library together.
"Allan!" She looked at him, scared, but went with him. "You dreamed about Frances," she said softly as they entered the library together.
"Did I say it was a dream? But I was awake—thoroughly awake. I had not been sleeping well, and I heard, twice, the striking of the clock. And as I lay there, looking out at the stars, and thinking—thinking of you, Theresa,—she came to me, stood there before me, in my room. It was no sheeted specter, you understand; it was Frances, literally she. In some inexplicable fashion I seemed to be aware that she wanted to make me know something, and I waited, watching her face. After a few moments it came. She did not speak, precisely. That is, I am sure I heard no sound. Yet the words that came from her were definite enough. She said: 'Don't let Theresa leave you. Take her and keep her.' Then she went away. Was that a dream?"
"Did I say it was a dream? But I was awake—completely awake. I hadn’t been sleeping well, and I heard the clock strike twice. As I lay there looking out at the stars, thinking—thinking of you, Theresa—she appeared before me, right in my room. It wasn't some ghostly figure, you see; it was Frances, really her. In some strange way, I felt like she wanted to tell me something, and I waited, watching her face. After a few moments, it happened. She didn’t speak, exactly. I’m sure I didn’t hear any sound. But the words that came from her were clear enough. She said: 'Don’t let Theresa leave you. Take her and keep her.' Then she vanished. Was that a dream?"
"I had not meant to tell you," Theresa eagerly answered, "but now I must. It is too wonderful. What time did your clock strike, Allan?"
"I didn't mean to tell you," Theresa eagerly replied, "but now I have to. It's too amazing. What time did your clock chime, Allan?"
"One, the last time."
"One last time."
"Yes; it was then that I awoke. And she had been with me. I had not seen her, but her arm had been about me and her kiss was on my cheek. Oh. I knew; it was unmistakable. And the sound of her voice was with me."
"Yes; that’s when I woke up. And she had been there with me. I didn’t see her, but her arm was around me and her kiss was on my cheek. Oh. I knew; there was no mistaking it. And her voice echoed in my mind."
"Then she bade you, too——"
"Then she told you, too——"
"Yes, to stay with you. I am glad we told each other." She smiled tearfully and began to fasten her wrap.
"Yes, to be with you. I'm so glad we shared that." She smiled with tears in her eyes and started to put on her wrap.
"But you are not going—now!" Allan cried. "You know that you cannot, now that she has asked you to stay."
"But you're not leaving—not now!" Allan shouted. "You know you can't, especially since she asked you to stay."
"Then you believe, as I do, that it was she?" Theresa demanded.
"Then you believe, like I do, that it was her?" Theresa demanded.
"I can never understand, but I know," he answered her. "And now you will not go?"
"I can never understand, but I know," he replied. "So you won’t leave now?"
I am freed. There will be no further semblance of me in my old home, no sound of my voice, no dimmest echo of my earthly self. They have no further need of me, the two that I have brought together. Theirs is the fullest joy that the dwellers in the shell of sense can know. Mine is the transcendent joy of the unseen spaces.
I am free. There will be no trace of me in my old home, no sound of my voice, no faint echo of my earthly self. They no longer need me, the two I brought together. Their joy is the greatest pleasure that those who live in the realm of senses can experience. Mine is the bliss of the unseen realms.
The Woman at Seven Brothers
By WILBUR DANIEL STEELEBy Wilbur Daniel Steele
From Land's End, by Wilbur Daniel Steele. Copyright, 1908, by Harper and Brothers. By permission of the publishers and Wilbur Daniel Steele.
From Land's End, by Wilbur Daniel Steele. Copyright, 1908, by Harper and Brothers. By permission of the publishers and Wilbur Daniel Steele.
I tell you sir, I was innocent. I didn't know any more about the world at twenty-two than some do at twelve. My uncle and aunt in Duxbury brought me up strict; I studied hard in high school, I worked hard after hours, and I went to church twice on Sundays, and I can't see it's right to put me in a place like this, with crazy people. Oh yes, I know they're crazy—you can't tell me. As for what they said in court about finding her with her husband, that's the Inspector's lie, sir, because he's down on me, and wants to make it look like my fault.
I swear, sir, I was innocent. At twenty-two, I didn't understand the world any better than some do at twelve. My uncle and aunt in Duxbury raised me strictly; I studied hard in high school, worked hard after school, and went to church twice on Sundays. I don’t think it’s fair to put me in a place like this, with people who are insane. Oh yes, I know they're insane—you can't convince me otherwise. As for what they said in court about finding her with her husband, that’s the Inspector’s lie, sir, because he has it out for me and wants to make it seem like it’s my fault.
No, sir, I can't say as I thought she was handsome—not at first. For one thing, her lips were too thin and white, and her color was bad. I'll tell you a fact, sir; that first day I came off to the Light I was sitting on my cot in the store-room (that's where the assistant keeper sleeps at the Seven Brothers), as lonesome as I could be, away from home for the first time, and the water all around me, and, even though it was a calm day, pounding enough on the ledge to send a kind of a woom-woom-woom whining up through all that solid rock of the tower. And when old Fedderson poked his head down from the living-room with the sunshine above making a kind of bright frame around his hair and whiskers, to give me a cheery, "Make yourself to home, son!" I remember I said to myself: "He's all right. I'll get along with him. But his wife's enough to sour milk." That was queer, because she was so much under him in age—'long about twenty-eight or so, and him nearer fifty. But that's what I said, sir.
No, sir, I can't say I thought she was attractive—not at first. For one thing, her lips were too thin and pale, and her complexion wasn't great. I'll tell you something, sir; that first day I arrived at the Light, I was sitting on my cot in the store-room (that's where the assistant keeper sleeps at the Seven Brothers), feeling as lonely as could be, away from home for the first time, with water all around me, and even though it was a calm day, the waves were crashing enough on the ledge to send a sort of a woom-woom-woom sound whining up through all that solid rock of the tower. And when old Fedderson poked his head down from the living room with the sunshine above creating a bright halo around his hair and whiskers to cheer me up with a, "Make yourself at home, son!" I remember thinking to myself: "He's all right. I can get along with him. But his wife's enough to spoil milk." That was strange, because she was so much younger than him—around twenty-eight or so, and him nearly fifty. But that's what I thought, sir.
Of course that feeling wore off, same as any feeling will wear off sooner or later in a place like the Seven Brothers. Cooped up in a place like that you come to know folks so well that you forget what they do look like. There was a long time I never noticed her, any more than you'd notice the cat. We used to sit of an evening around the table, as if you were Fedderson there, and me here, and her somewhere back there, in the rocker, knitting. Fedderson would be working on his Jacob's-ladder, and I'd be reading. He'd been working on that Jacob's-ladder a year, I guess, and every time the Inspector came off with the tender he was so astonished to see how good that ladder was that the old man would go to work and make it better. That's all he lived for.
Of course that feeling faded away, just like any feeling eventually does in a place like the Seven Brothers. Being stuck in a place like that, you get to know people so well that you forget what they actually look like. For a long time, I didn’t really notice her, any more than you’d notice the cat. We used to sit in the evenings around the table, like you were Fedderson over there, and I was here, and she was somewhere behind us, in the rocking chair, knitting. Fedderson would be working on his Jacob's ladder, and I’d be reading. He’d been working on that Jacob's ladder for a year, I guess, and every time the Inspector came in with the tender, he was so impressed with how good that ladder was that the old man would just go back to work and make it even better. That’s all he lived for.
If I was reading, as I say, I daren't take my eyes off the book, or Fedderson had me. And then he'd begin—what the Inspector said about him. How surprised the member of the board had been, that time, to see everything so clean about the light. What the Inspector had said about Fedderson's being stuck here in a second-class light—best keeper on the coast. And so on and so on, till either he or I had to go aloft and have a look at the wicks.
If I was reading, like I said, I couldn’t take my eyes off the book, or Fedderson would have me. Then he’d start—what the Inspector said about him. How shocked the board member had been that time to see everything so tidy around the light. What the Inspector had said about Fedderson being stuck here in a second-rate light—best keeper on the coast. And on and on, until either he or I had to go up and check the wicks.
He'd been there twenty-three years, all told, and he'd got used to the feeling that he was kept down unfair—so used to it, I guess, that he fed on it, and told himself how folks ashore would talk when he was dead and gone—best keeper on the coast—kept down unfair. Not that he said that to me. No, he was far too loyal and humble and respectful, doing his duty without complaint, as anybody could see.
He'd been there for twenty-three years in total, and he had gotten used to the feeling that he was being held back unfairly—so used to it, I suppose, that he thrived on it, convincing himself of how people on land would talk about him once he was gone—best keeper on the coast—held back unfairly. Not that he ever said that to me. No, he was much too loyal, humble, and respectful; he did his job without any complaints, as anyone could see.
And all that time, night after night, hardly ever a word out of the woman. As I remember it, she seemed more like a piece of furniture than anything else—not even a very good cook, nor over and above tidy. One day, when he and I were trimming the lamp, he passed the remark that his first wife used to dust the lens and take a pride in it. Not that he said a word against Anna, though. He never said a word against any living mortal; he was too upright.
And all that time, night after night, hardly ever a word from the woman. As I remember it, she seemed more like a piece of furniture than anything else—not even a very good cook, nor particularly tidy. One day, when he and I were fixing the lamp, he mentioned that his first wife used to clean the lens and took pride in it. Not that he said anything bad about Anna, though. He never said a word against any living person; he was too principled.
I don't know how it came about; or, rather, I do know, but it was so sudden, and so far away from my thoughts, that it shocked me, like the world turned over. It was at prayers. That night I remember Fedderson was uncommon long-winded. We'd had a batch of newspapers out by the tender, and at such times the old man always made a long watch of it, getting the world straightened out. For one thing, the United States minister to Turkey was dead. Well, from him and his soul, Fedderson got on to Turkey and the Presbyterian college there, and from that to heathen in general. He rambled on and on, like the surf on the ledge, woom-woom-woom, never coming to an end.
I’m not sure how it happened; or, actually, I do know, but it was so sudden and so distant from my thoughts that it shocked me, like the world flipped upside down. It was during prayers. That night, I remember Fedderson was especially long-winded. We had a stack of newspapers out by the tender, and during those times the old man always spent a lot of time getting everything sorted out. For one thing, the U.S. minister to Turkey had died. Well, from him and his soul, Fedderson started on Turkey and the Presbyterian college there, and then moved on to heathens in general. He kept going and going, like the surf on the rocks, woom-woom-woom, never seeming to stop.
You know how you'll be at prayers sometimes. My mind strayed. I counted the canes in the chair-seat where I was kneeling; I plaited a corner of the table-cloth between my fingers for a spell, and by and by my eyes went wandering up the back of the chair.
You know how it is during prayers sometimes. My mind drifted. I counted the fibers in the chair seat where I was kneeling; I twisted a corner of the tablecloth between my fingers for a bit, and eventually, my eyes started to wander up the back of the chair.
The woman, sir, was looking at me. Her chair was back to mine, close, and both our heads were down in the shadow under the edge of the table, with Fedderson clear over on the other side by the stove. And there were her two eyes hunting mine between the spindles in the shadow. You won't believe me, sir, but I tell you I felt like jumping to my feet and running out of the room—it was so queer.
The woman was looking at me, sir. Her chair was facing away from mine, close by, and both our heads were down in the shadow under the edge of the table, with Fedderson way over on the other side by the stove. And there were her two eyes searching for mine through the spindles in the shadow. You might not believe me, sir, but I felt like jumping up and running out of the room—it was so strange.
I don't know what her husband was praying about after that. His voice didn't mean anything, no more than the seas on the ledge away down there. I went to work to count the canes in the seat again, but all my eyes were in the top of my head. It got so I couldn't stand it. We were at the Lord's prayer, saying it singsong together, when I had to look up again. And there her two eyes were, between the spindles, hunting mine. Just then all of us were saying, "Forgive us our trespasses—" I thought of it afterward.
I have no idea what her husband was praying about after that. His voice meant nothing, just like the waves on the shore down there. I tried to focus on counting the canes in the seat again, but all I could think about was her. It got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. We were reciting the Lord's prayer together in a singsong voice when I had to look up again. And there she was, her two eyes peering through the spindles, looking for mine. Just then, we were all saying, "Forgive us our trespasses—" I thought about it later.
When we got up she was turned the other way, but I couldn't help seeing her cheeks were red. It was terrible. I wondered if Fedderson would notice, though I might have known he wouldn't—not him. He was in too much of a hurry to get at his Jacob's-ladder, and then he had to tell me for the tenth time what the Inspector'd said that day about getting him another light—Kingdom Come, maybe, he said.
When we got up, she was turned the other way, but I couldn't help noticing her cheeks were red. It was awful. I wondered if Fedderson would notice, though I should have known he wouldn't—not him. He was too eager to get to his Jacob’s ladder, and then he had to tell me for the tenth time what the Inspector had said that day about getting him another light—maybe Kingdom Come, he said.
I made some excuse or other and got away. Once in the store-room, I sat down on my cot and stayed there a long time, feeling queerer than anything. I read a chapter in the Bible, I don't know why. After I'd got my boots off I sat with them in my hands for as much as an hour, I guess, staring at the oil-tank and its lopsided shadow on the wall. I tell you, sir, I was shocked. I was only twenty-two remember, and I was shocked and horrified.
I came up with some excuse and managed to slip away. Once I was in the storage room, I sat down on my cot and stayed there for a long time, feeling stranger than anything. I read a chapter in the Bible, although I don’t really know why. After I took off my boots, I sat there holding them for about an hour, staring at the oil tank and its crooked shadow on the wall. I tell you, sir, I was stunned. Keep in mind I was only twenty-two, and I was shocked and horrified.
And when I did turn in, finally, I didn't sleep at all well. Two or three times I came to, sitting straight up in bed. Once I got up and opened the outer door to have a look. The water was like glass, dim, without a breath of wind, and the moon just going down. Over on the black shore I made out two lights in a village, like a pair of eyes watching. Lonely? My, yes! Lonely and nervous. I had a horror of her, sir. The dinghy-boat hung on its davits just there in front of the door, and for a minute I had an awful hankering to climb into it, lower away, and row off, no matter where. It sounds foolish.
And when I finally went to bed, I didn't sleep well at all. A couple of times I woke up, sitting straight up in bed. Once, I got up and opened the outer door to take a look. The water was like glass, dim, without a breath of wind, and the moon was just setting. Over on the dark shore, I could see two lights in a village, like a pair of eyes watching. Lonely? Absolutely! Lonely and on edge. I felt a real dread of her, sir. The dinghy was hanging on its davits right in front of the door, and for a moment, I had an overwhelming urge to climb into it, lower it down, and row off, no matter where. It sounds silly.
Well, it seemed foolish next morning, with the sun shining and everything as usual—Fedderson sucking his pen and wagging his head over his eternal "log," and his wife down in the rocker with her head in the newspaper, and her breakfast work still waiting. I guess that jarred it out of me more than anything else—sight of her slouched down there, with her stringy, yellow hair and her dusty apron and the pale back of her neck, reading the Society Notes. Society Notes! Think of it! For the first time since I came to Seven Brothers I wanted to laugh.
Well, the next morning felt silly, with the sun shining and everything as usual—Fedderson chewing on his pen and nodding his head over his never-ending "log," and his wife sitting in the rocker with her head buried in the newspaper, while her breakfast chores were still waiting. I guess seeing her slouched there, with her thin, yellow hair and dusty apron and the pale back of her neck reading the Society Notes, was what really got to me. Society Notes! Can you believe it? For the first time since I arrived in Seven Brothers, I actually felt like laughing.
I guess I did laugh when I went aloft to clean the lamp and found everything so free and breezy, gulls flying high and little whitecaps making under a westerly. It was like feeling a big load dropped off your shoulders. Fedderson came up with his dust-rag and cocked his head at me.
I guess I laughed when I climbed up to clean the lamp and found everything so fresh and airy, with seagulls soaring high and small whitecaps forming in the west wind. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Fedderson came up with his dust cloth and tilted his head at me.
"What's the matter, Ray?" said he.
"What's up, Ray?" he asked.
"Nothing," said I. And then I couldn't help it. "Seems kind of out of place for society notes," said I, "out here at Seven Brothers."
"Nothing," I said. And then I couldn't hold back. "It seems a bit out of place for society notes," I said, "out here at Seven Brothers."
He was the other side of the lens, and when he looked at me he had a thousand eyes, all sober. For a minute I thought he was going on dusting, but then he came out and sat down on a sill.
He was on the other side of the lens, and when he looked at me, it felt like he had a thousand serious eyes. For a moment, I thought he was going to keep cleaning, but then he came out and sat down on a ledge.
"Sometimes," said he, "I get to thinking it may be a mite dull for her out here. She's pretty young, Ray. Not much more'n a girl, hardly."
"Sometimes," he said, "I think it might be a little boring for her out here. She's really young, Ray. Barely more than a girl."
"Not much more'n a girl!" It gave me a turn, sir, as though I'd seen my aunt in short dresses.
"Not much more than a girl!" It surprised me, sir, as if I’d seen my aunt in a short dress.
"It's a good home for her, though," he went on slow. "I've seen a lot worse ashore, Ray. Of course if I could get a shore light——"
"It's a good place for her, though," he continued slowly. "I've seen a lot worse on land, Ray. Of course, if I could get a shore light——"
"Kingdom Come's a shore light."
"Kingdom Come's a guiding light."
He looked at me out of his deep-set eyes, and then he turned them around the light-room, where he'd been so long.
He looked at me with his deep-set eyes, then he scanned the brightly lit room where he had spent so much time.
"No," said he, wagging his head. "It ain't for such as me."
"No," he said, shaking his head. "It’s not for someone like me."
I never saw so humble a man.
I have never seen such a humble person.
"But look here," he went on, more cheerful. "As I was telling her just now, a month from yesterday's our fourth anniversary, and I'm going to take her ashore for the day and give her a holiday—new hat and everything. A girl wants a mite of excitement now and then, Ray."
"But listen," he continued, feeling more upbeat. "As I was just telling her, a month from yesterday is our fourth anniversary, and I'm going to take her onshore for the day and give her a break—new hat and all. A girl needs a little excitement now and then, Ray."
There it was again, that "girl." It gave me the fidgets, sir. I had to do something about it. It's close quarters for last names in a light, and I'd taken to calling him Uncle Matt soon after I came. Now, when I was at table that noon I spoke over to where she was standing by the stove, getting him another help of chowder.
There it was again, that "girl." It made me anxious, sir. I had to do something about it. It’s tight for last names in a small place, and I had started calling him Uncle Matt soon after I arrived. Now, when I was at the table that afternoon, I called over to where she was standing by the stove, getting him another serving of chowder.
"I guess I'll have some, too, Aunt Anna," said I, matter of fact.
"I guess I'll have some, too, Aunt Anna," I said, matter-of-factly.
She never said a word nor gave a sign—just stood there kind of round-shouldered, dipping the chowder. And that night at prayers I hitched my chair around the table, with its back the other way.
She didn’t say a thing or give any sign—just stood there, kind of slouched, ladling the chowder. And that night at prayer time, I turned my chair around at the table, with its back facing the others.
You get awful lazy in a lighthouse, some ways. No matter how much tinkering you've got, there's still a lot of time and there's such a thing as too much reading. The changes in weather get monotonous, too, by and by; the light burns the same on a thick night as it does on a fair one. Of course there's the ships, north-bound, south-bound—wind-jammers, freighters, passenger-boats full of people. In the watches at night you can see their lights go by, and wonder what they are, how they're laden, where they'll fetch up, and all. I used to do that almost every evening when it was my first watch, sitting out on the walk-around up there with my legs hanging over the edge and my chin propped on the railing—lazy. The Boston boat was the prettiest to see, with her three tiers of port-holes lit, like a string of pearls wrapped round and round a woman's neck—well away, too, for the ledge must have made a couple of hundred fathoms off the Light, like a white dog-tooth of a breaker, even on the darkest night.
You get pretty lazy in a lighthouse in some ways. No matter how much you tinker, there's still a lot of downtime, and there’s such a thing as too much reading. The weather changes get boring after a while; the light shines the same on a thick night as it does on a clear one. Of course, there are the ships, heading north and south—sailing ships, cargo ships, passenger boats packed with people. During the night shifts, you can see their lights passing by and wonder what they are, what they're carrying, and where they’re going. I used to do that almost every evening on my first watch, sitting out on the walkway up there with my legs hanging over the edge and my chin resting on the railing—feeling lazy. The Boston boat was the prettiest to watch, with her three tiers of portholes lit up, like a string of pearls wrapped around a woman's neck—far away too, since the ledge must have dropped a couple of hundred fathoms off the Light, like a white dogtooth of a wave, even on the darkest night.
Well, I was lolling there one night, as I say, watching the Boston boat go by, not thinking of anything special, when I heard the door on the other side of the tower open and footsteps coming around to me.
Well, I was lounging there one night, like I said, watching the Boston boat go by, not thinking about anything in particular, when I heard the door on the other side of the tower open and footsteps approaching me.
By and by I nodded toward the boat and passed the remark that she was fetching in uncommon close to-night. No answer. I made nothing of that, for oftentimes Fedderson wouldn't answer, and after I'd watched the lights crawling on through the dark a spell, just to make conversation I said I guessed there'd be a bit of weather before long.
Eventually, I nodded toward the boat and mentioned that she was coming in unusually close tonight. No response. I thought nothing of it since Fedderson often wouldn't reply, and after I had watched the lights moving through the dark for a while, just to keep the conversation going, I said I figured there would be some bad weather soon.
"I've noticed," said I, "when there's weather coming on, and the wind in the northeast, you can hear the orchestra playing aboard of her just over there. I make it out now. Do you?"
"I've noticed," I said, "when bad weather is coming and the wind is from the northeast, you can hear the orchestra playing on that ship over there. I can hear it clearly now. Can you?"
"Yes. Oh—yes—! I hear it all right!"
"Yes. Oh—yes—! I hear it all right!"
You can imagine I started. It wasn't him, but her. And there was something in the way she said that speech, sir—something—well—unnatural. Like a hungry animal snapping at a person's hand.
You can imagine I started. It wasn't him, but her. And there was something in the way she delivered that speech, sir—something—well—off. Like a hungry animal snapping at someone's hand.
I turned and looked at her sidewise. She was standing by the railing, leaning a little outward, the top of her from the waist picked out bright by the lens behind her. I didn't know what in the world to say, and yet I had a feeling I ought not to sit there mum.
I turned and glanced at her from the side. She was standing by the railing, leaning slightly outward, the top of her waist highlighted brightly by the lens behind her. I had no idea what to say, but I felt like I shouldn't just sit there silent.
"I wonder," said I, "what that captain's thinking of, fetching in so handy to-night. It's no way. I tell you, if 'twasn't for this light, she'd go to work and pile up on the ledge some thick night——"
"I wonder," I said, "what that captain is thinking, coming in so close tonight. It's not right. I'm telling you, if it weren't for this light, she'd end up crashing on the ledge some dark night——"
She turned at that and stared straight into the lens. I didn't like the look of her face. Somehow, with its edges cut hard all around and its two eyes closed down to slits, like a cat's, it made a kind of mask.
She turned at that and stared straight into the camera. I didn’t like the look on her face. Somehow, with its sharply defined features and her two eyes narrowed down to slits like a cat’s, it created a kind of mask.
"And then," I went on, uneasy enough—"and then where'd all their music be of a sudden, and their goings-on and their singing——"
"And then," I continued, feeling pretty uneasy—"and then where did all their music go all of a sudden, and their activities and their singing——"
"And dancing!" She clipped me off so quick it took my breath.
"And dancing!" She cut me off so fast it took my breath away.
"D-d-dancing?" said I.
"Is this dancing?" I asked.
"That's dance-music," said she. She was looking at the boat again.
"That’s dance music," she said. She was looking at the boat again.
"How do you know?" I felt I had to keep on talking.
"How do you know?" I felt like I needed to keep talking.
Well, sir—she laughed. I looked at her. She had on a shawl of some stuff or other that shined in the light; she had it pulled tight around her with her two hands in front at her breast, and I saw her shoulders swaying in tune.
Well, sir—she laughed. I looked at her. She was wearing a shiny shawl that glimmered in the light; she had it wrapped tightly around her, holding it in front of her chest with both hands, and I noticed her shoulders swaying along with the rhythm.
"How do I know?" she cried. Then she laughed again, the same kind of a laugh. It was queer, sir, to see her, and to hear her. She turned, as quick as that, and leaned toward me. "Don't you know how to dance, Ray?" said she.
"How do I know?" she exclaimed. Then she laughed again, the same kind of laugh. It was strange, sir, to see her and hear her. She turned, just like that, and leaned toward me. "Don't you know how to dance, Ray?" she asked.
"N-no," I managed, and I was going to say "Aunt Anna," but the thing choked in my throat.
"N-no," I managed, and I was going to say "Aunt Anna," but the words got stuck in my throat.
I tell you she was looking square at me all the time with her two eyes and moving with the music as if she didn't know it. By heavens, sir, it came over me of a sudden that she wasn't so bad-looking, after all. I guess I must have sounded like a fool.
I swear she was staring right at me the whole time with her two eyes, swaying to the music as if she wasn’t even aware of it. Honestly, it hit me all at once that she wasn’t so bad-looking, after all. I probably sounded like an idiot.
"You—you see," said I, "she's cleared the rip there now, and the music's gone. You—you hear?"
"You—you see," I said, "she's cleared the rip over there now, and the music's gone. You—you hear?"
"Yes," said she, turning back slow. "That's where it stops every night—night after night—it stops just there—at the rip."
"Yes," she said, slowly turning back. "That's where it stops every night—night after night—it stops right there—at the rip."
When she spoke again her voice was different. I never heard the like of it, thin and taut as a thread. It made me shiver, sir.
When she spoke again, her voice had changed. I had never heard anything like it, thin and tight like a thread. It gave me chills, sir.
"I hate 'em!" That's what she said. "I hate 'em all. I'd like to see 'em dead. I'd love to see 'em torn apart on the rocks, night after night. I could bathe my hands in their blood, night after night."
"I hate them!" That's what she said. "I hate them all. I'd like to see them dead. I'd love to see them torn apart on the rocks, night after night. I could bathe my hands in their blood, night after night."
And do you know, sir, I saw it with my own eyes, her hands moving in each other above the rail. But it was her voice, though. I didn't know what to do, or what to say, so I poked my head through the railing and looked down at the water. I don't think I'm a coward, sir, but it was like a cold—ice-cold—hand, taking hold of my beating heart.
And you know, sir, I saw it with my own eyes, her hands moving over each other above the railing. But it was her voice that struck me. I didn’t know what to do or what to say, so I poked my head through the railing and looked down at the water. I don’t think I’m a coward, sir, but it felt like a cold—ice-cold—hand gripping my beating heart.
When I looked up finally, she was gone. By and by I went in and had a look at the lamp, hardly knowing what I was about. Then, seeing by my watch it was time for the old man to come on duty, I started to go below. In the Seven Brothers, you understand, the stair goes down in a spiral through a well against the south wall and first there's the door to the keeper's room and then you come to another, and that's the living-room, and then down to the store-room. And at night, if you don't carry a lantern, it's as black as the pit.
When I finally looked up, she had disappeared. Eventually, I went inside and checked the lamp, barely aware of what I was doing. Then, noticing by my watch that it was time for the old man to start his shift, I began to head downstairs. In the Seven Brothers, the stairs spiral down through a well on the south wall; first, there's the door to the keeper's room, then you reach another door, which leads to the living room, and finally down to the storage room. At night, if you don’t have a lantern, it’s as dark as the depths.
Well, down I went, sliding my hand along the rail, and as usual I stopped to give a rap on the keeper's door, in case he was taking a nap after supper. Sometimes he did.
Well, down I went, sliding my hand along the railing, and as usual, I stopped to knock on the keeper's door, just in case he was taking a nap after dinner. Sometimes he did.
I stood there, blind as a bat, with my mind still up on the walk-around. There was no answer to my knock. I hadn't expected any. Just from habit, and with my right foot already hanging down for the next step, I reached out to give the door one more tap for luck.
I stood there, completely clueless, still lost in my thoughts from the walk. There was no response to my knock. I hadn’t anticipated one. Out of habit, with my right foot already poised for the next step, I reached out to give the door one more tap for good luck.
Do you know, sir, my hand didn't fetch up on anything. The door had been there a second before, and now the door wasn't there. My hand just went on going through the dark, on and on, and I didn't seem to have sense or power enough to stop it. There didn't seem any air in the well to breathe, and my ears were drumming to the surf—that's how scared I was. And then my hand touched the flesh of a face, and something in the dark said, "Oh!" no louder than a sigh.
Do you know, sir, my hand didn't touch anything. The door was there just a moment ago, and now it wasn't. My hand kept moving through the darkness, and I didn’t seem to have the strength or sense to stop it. It felt like there was no air in the well to breathe, and my ears were pounding like the waves—that's how terrified I was. Then my hand brushed against someone's face, and something in the dark whispered, "Oh!" no louder than a sigh.
Next thing I knew, sir, I was down in the living-room, warm and yellow-lit, with Fedderson cocking his head at me across the table, where he was at that eternal Jacob's-ladder of his.
Next thing I knew, sir, I was down in the living room, warm and lit with a yellow glow, with Fedderson tilting his head at me from across the table, where he was at that never-ending Jacob's ladder of his.
"What's the matter, Ray?" said he. "Lord's sake, Ray!"
"What's wrong, Ray?" he asked. "For heaven's sake, Ray!"
"Nothing," said I. Then I think I told him I was sick. That night I wrote a letter to A.L. Peters, the grain-dealer in Duxbury, asking for a job—even though it wouldn't go ashore for a couple of weeks, just the writing of it made me feel better.
"Nothing," I said. Then I think I told him I was sick. That night I wrote a letter to A.L. Peters, the grain dealer in Duxbury, asking for a job—even though it wouldn't be sent out for a couple of weeks, just writing it made me feel better.
It's hard to tell you how those two weeks went by. I don't know why, but I felt like hiding in a corner all the time. I had to come to meals, but I didn't look at her, though, not once, unless it was by accident. Fedderson thought I was still ailing and nagged me to death with advice and so on. One thing I took care not to do, I can tell you, and that was to knock on his door till I'd made certain he wasn't below in the living-room—though I was tempted to.
It's hard to describe how those two weeks passed. I don't know why, but I felt like hiding in a corner the entire time. I had to join for meals, but I didn't look at her, not even once, unless it happened by accident. Fedderson thought I was still unwell and nagged me endlessly with advice and other things. One thing I made sure not to do, I'll tell you, was knock on his door until I was sure he wasn't down in the living room—though I was tempted.
Yes, sir; that's a queer thing, and I wouldn't tell you if I hadn't set out to give you the truth. Night after night, stopping there on the landing in that black pit, the air gone out of my lungs and the surf drumming in my ears and sweat standing cold on my neck—and one hand lifting up in the air—God forgive me, sir! Maybe I did wrong not to look at her more, drooping about her work in her gingham apron, with her hair stringing.
Yes, sir; that's a strange thing, and I wouldn't tell you if I hadn't made the decision to be honest with you. Night after night, stopping there on the landing in that dark place, the air taken out of my lungs and the sound of the surf pounding in my ears and sweat chilling on my neck—and one hand raised up in the air—God forgive me, sir! Maybe I was wrong not to look at her more, slumped over her work in her checkered apron, with her hair hanging down.
When the Inspector came off with the tender, that time, I told him I was through. That's when he took the dislike to me, I guess, for he looked at me kind of sneering and said, soft as I was, I'd have to put up with it till next relief. And then, said he, there'd be a whole house-cleaning at Seven Brothers, because he'd gotten Fedderson the berth at Kingdom Come. And with that he slapped the old man on the back.
When the Inspector came off with the tender that time, I told him I was done. That’s when he seemed to take a dislike to me, I guess, because he looked at me with a sneer and said, as soft as I was, I'd have to deal with it until the next relief. Then he said there would be a big house-cleaning at Seven Brothers since he’d gotten Fedderson the position at Kingdom Come. With that, he slapped the old man on the back.
I wish you could have seen Fedderson, sir. He sat down on my cot as if his knees had given 'way. Happy? You'd think he'd be happy, with all his dreams come true. Yes, he was happy, beaming all over—for a minute. Then, sir, he began to shrivel up. It was like seeing a man cut down in his prime before your eyes. He began to wag his head.
I wish you could have seen Fedderson, sir. He sat down on my cot as if his knees had given out. Happy? You'd think he’d be happy, with all his dreams coming true. Yes, he was happy, shining all over—for a minute. Then, sir, he started to shrink down. It was like watching a man brought down in his prime right in front of you. He started to shake his head.
"No," said he. "No, no; it's not for such as me. I'm good enough for Seven Brothers, and that's all, Mr. Bayliss. That's all."
"No," he said. "No, no; it’s not meant for someone like me. I’m good enough for Seven Brothers, and that’s it, Mr. Bayliss. That’s all."
And for all the Inspector could say, that's what he stuck to. He'd figured himself a martyr so many years, nursed that injustice like a mother with her first-born, sir; and now in his old age, so to speak, they weren't to rob him of it. Fedderson was going to wear out his life in a second-class light, and folks would talk—that was his idea. I heard him hailing down as the tender was casting off:
And no matter what the Inspector said, that’s what he clung to. He had seen himself as a martyr for so many years, cared for that injustice like a mother with her first child; and now in his old age, so to speak, they weren’t going to take that away from him. Fedderson was going to waste his life in a second-class way, and people would have something to say—that was his belief. I heard him calling out as the tender was pulling away:
"See you to-morrow, Mr. Bayliss. Yep. Coming ashore with the wife for a spree. Anniversary. Yep."
"See you tomorrow, Mr. Bayliss. Yep. Coming ashore with the wife for a fun time. Anniversary. Yep."
But he didn't sound much like a spree. They had, robbed him, partly, after all. I wondered what she thought about it. I didn't know till night. She didn't show up to supper, which Fedderson and I got ourselves—had a headache, be said. It was my early watch. I went and lit up and came back to read a spell. He was finishing off the Jacob's-ladder, and thoughtful, like a man that's lost a treasure. Once or twice I caught him looking about the room on the sly. It was pathetic, sir.
But he didn’t sound like he was having a good time. They had robbed him, after all. I wondered what she thought about it. I didn’t find out until night. She didn’t come to dinner, which Fedderson and I made ourselves—he said he had a headache. It was my early watch. I went and lit up and came back to read for a while. He was finishing the Jacob’s ladder and looked pensive, like someone who’s lost something precious. A couple of times, I noticed him sneaking glances around the room. It was sad, sir.
Going up the second time, I stepped out on the walk-around to have a look at things. She was there on the seaward side, wrapped in that silky thing. A fair sea was running across the ledge and it was coming on a little thick—not too thick. Off to the right the Boston boat was blowing, whroom-whroom! Creeping up on us, quarter-speed. There was another fellow behind her, and a fisherman's conch farther offshore.
Going up for the second time, I stepped out onto the walkway to take a look around. She was there on the ocean side, wrapped in that silky fabric. A nice sea was rolling over the ledge, and it was getting a bit rough—not too rough though. To the right, the Boston boat was making its noise, whroom-whroom! Slowly approaching us at a quarter-speed. There was another guy behind her, and a fisherman’s conch farther out at sea.
I don't know why, but I stopped beside her and leaned on the rail. She didn't appear to notice me, one way or another. We stood and we stood, listening to the whistles, and the longer we stood the more it got on my nerves, her not noticing me. I suppose she'd been too much on my mind lately. I began to be put out. I scraped my feet. I coughed. By and by I said out loud:
I don't know why, but I stopped next to her and leaned on the rail. She didn’t seem to notice me at all. We stood there for a while, listening to the whistles, and the longer we stood there, the more it irritated me that she wasn’t acknowledging me. I guess I had been thinking about her too much lately. I started to get annoyed. I shuffled my feet. I coughed. Eventually, I said loudly:
"Look here, I guess I better get out the fog-horn and give those fellows a toot."
"Look, I guess I should grab the foghorn and give those guys a honk."
"Why?" said she, without moving her head—calm as that.
"Why?" she said, without turning her head—calm like that.
"Why?" It gave me a turn, sir. For a minute I stared at her. "Why? Because if she don't pick up this light before very many minutes she'll be too close in to wear—tide'll have her on the rocks—that's why!"
"Why?" It caught me off guard, sir. For a moment, I just stared at her. "Why? Because if she doesn't pick up this light soon, she'll be too close in to wear— the tide will have her on the rocks— that's why!"
I couldn't see her face, but I could see one of her silk shoulders lift a little, like a shrug. And there I kept on staring at her, a dumb one, sure enough. I know what brought me to was hearing the Boston boat's three sharp toots as she picked up the light—mad as anything—and swung her helm a-port. I turned away from her, sweat stringing down my face, and walked around to the door. It was just as well, too, for the feed-pipe was plugged in the lamp and the wicks were popping. She'd have been out in another five minutes, sir.
I couldn't see her face, but I noticed one of her silky shoulders lift slightly, like she was shrugging. And there I was, just staring at her, like an idiot, for sure. I think what pulled me back to reality was hearing the Boston boat’s three sharp horn blasts as it picked up the light—totally frantic—and turned its helm to the left. I turned away from her, sweat dripping down my face, and walked over to the door. It was probably for the best, too, because the feed pipe was blocked in the lamp and the wicks were popping. She would have been out in another five minutes, sir.
When I'd finished, I saw that woman standing in the doorway. Her eyes were bright. I had a horror of her, sir, a living horror.
When I was done, I saw that woman standing in the doorway. Her eyes were bright. I was terrified of her, sir, a real nightmare.
"If only the light had been out," said she, low and sweet.
"If only the light had been off," she said softly and sweetly.
"God forgive you," said I. "You don't know what you're saying."
"God forgive you," I said. "You have no idea what you're talking about."
She went down the stair into the well, winding out of sight, and as long as I could see her, her eyes were watching mine. When I went, myself, after a few minutes, she was waiting for me on that first landing, standing still in the dark. She took hold of my hand, though I tried to get it away.
She went down the stairs into the well, disappearing from view, and as long as I could see her, her eyes were locked on mine. When I followed a few minutes later, she was waiting for me on that first landing, standing still in the dark. She grabbed my hand, even though I tried to pull it away.
"Good-by," said she in my ear.
"Goodbye," she whispered in my ear.
"Good-by?" said I. I didn't understand.
"Goodbye?" I said. I didn't get it.
"You heard what he said to-day—about Kingdom Come? Be it so—on his own head. I'll never come back here. Once I set foot ashore—I've got friends in Brightonboro, Ray."
"You heard what he said today—about Kingdom Come? Let it be on him. I’m never coming back here. Once I step foot on land—I have friends in Brightonboro, Ray."
I got away from her and started on down. But I stopped. "Brightonboro?" I whispered back. "Why do you tell me?" My throat was raw to the words, like a sore.
I got away from her and started down. But I stopped. "Brightonboro?" I whispered back. "Why are you telling me?" My throat felt scratchy from the words, like a sore.
"So you'd know," said she.
"So you'd know," she said.
Well, sir, I saw them off next morning, down that new Jacob's-ladder into the dinghy-boat, her in a dress of blue velvet and him in his best cutaway and derby—rowing away, smaller and smaller, the two of them. And then I went back and sat on my cot, leaving the door open and the ladder still hanging down the wall, along with the boat-falls.
Well, sir, I saw them off the next morning, down that new Jacob's ladder into the dinghy, her in a blue velvet dress and him in his best cutaway and derby—rowing away, getting smaller and smaller, the two of them. Then I went back and sat on my cot, leaving the door open and the ladder still hanging down the wall, along with the boat falls.
I don't know whether it was relief, or what. I suppose I must have been worked up even more than I'd thought those past weeks, for now it was all over I was like a rag. I got down on my knees, sir, and prayed to God for the salvation of my soul, and when I got up and climbed to the living-room it was half past twelve by the clock. There was rain on the windows and the sea was running blue-black under the sun. I'd sat there all that time not knowing there was a squall.
I don't know if it was relief or something else. I guess I must have been more worked up than I realized over those past weeks, because now that it was all over, I felt completely exhausted. I got down on my knees, sir, and prayed to God for the salvation of my soul. When I got up and climbed to the living room, it was half past twelve by the clock. There was rain on the windows, and the sea was a dark blue-black under the sun. I had been sitting there the whole time, not knowing there was a storm brewing.
It was funny; the glass stood high, but those black squalls kept coming and going all afternoon, while I was at work up in the light-room. And I worked hard, to keep myself busy. First thing I knew it was five, and no sign of the boat yet. It began to get dim and kind of purplish-gray over the land. The sun was down. I lit up, made everything snug, and got out the night-glasses to have another look for that boat. He'd said he intended to get back before five. No sign. And then, standing there, it came over me that of course he wouldn't be coming off—he'd be hunting her, poor old fool. It looked like I had to stand two men's watches that night.
It was funny; the glass was high, but those dark squalls kept coming and going all afternoon while I was working up in the light-room. I worked hard to keep myself occupied. Before I knew it, it was five, and still no sign of the boat. It started to get dim and sort of purplish-gray over the land. The sun had set. I turned on the lights, made everything cozy, and got out the night-glasses to look for that boat again. He had said he planned to return before five. No sign. And then, standing there, it hit me that of course he wouldn't be coming back—he'd be searching for her, poor old fool. It looked like I'd have to cover two men's watches that night.
Never mind. I felt like myself again, even if I hadn't had any dinner or supper. Pride came to me that night on the walk-around, watching the boats go by—little boats, big boats, the Boston boat with all her pearls and her dance-music. They couldn't see me; they didn't know who I was; but to the last of them, they depended on me. They say a man must be born again. Well, I was born again. I breathed deep in the wind.
Never mind. I felt like myself again, even though I hadn’t eaten any dinner or supper. Pride filled me that night as I strolled around, watching the boats go by—little boats, big boats, the Boston boat with all its pearls and dance music. They couldn’t see me; they didn’t know who I was; but to the last of them, they relied on me. They say a man must be born again. Well, I was born again. I took a deep breath in the wind.
Dawn broke hard and red as a dying coal. I put out the light and started to go below. Born again; yes, sir. I felt so good I whistled in the well, and when I came to the first door on the stair I reached out in the dark to give it a rap for luck. And then, sir, the hair prickled all over my scalp, when I found my hand just going on and on through the air, the same as it had gone once before, and all of a sudden I wanted to yell, because I thought I was going to touch flesh. It's funny what their just forgetting to close their door did to me, isn't it?
Dawn broke fiercely and red like a dying ember. I turned off the light and started to head downstairs. Born again; you bet. I felt so good I whistled in the hallway, and when I reached the first door on the stairs, I reached out in the dark to give it a knock for good luck. And then, suddenly, I felt the hair on my neck stand up when I realized my hand just kept going through the air, just like it had before, and out of nowhere, I wanted to scream because I thought I was about to touch someone. It's strange how their forgetting to close the door affected me, isn’t it?
Well, I reached for the latch and pulled it to with a bang and ran down as if a ghost was after me. I got up some coffee and bread and bacon for breakfast. I drank the coffee. But somehow I couldn't eat, all along of that open door. The light in the room was blood. I got to thinking. I thought how she'd talked about those men, women, and children on the rocks, and how she'd made to bathe her hands over the rail. I almost jumped out of my chair then; it seemed for a wink she was there beside the stove watching me with that queer half-smile—really, I seemed to see her for a flash across the red table-cloth in the red light of dawn.
Well, I reached for the latch and slammed it shut, then ran down as if a ghost was after me. I grabbed some coffee, bread, and bacon for breakfast. I drank the coffee, but for some reason, I just couldn't eat, all because of that open door. The light in the room was eerie. I started thinking about how she had talked about those men, women, and children on the rocks, and how she nearly dipped her hands over the rail. I almost jumped out of my chair then; it felt like for a moment she was there beside the stove, watching me with that strange half-smile—really, I could almost see her for a second across the red tablecloth in the red light of dawn.
"Look here!" said I to myself, sharp enough; and then I gave myself a good laugh and went below. There I took a look out of the door, which was still open, with the ladder hanging down. I made sure to see the poor old fool come pulling around the point before very long now.
"Check this out!" I thought to myself, a bit amused, and then I had a good laugh before going downstairs. There, I looked out the door, which was still open with the ladder hanging down. I made sure to watch for the poor old fool to come around the corner soon.
My boots were hurting a little, and, taking them off, I lay down on the cot to rest, and somehow I went to sleep. I had horrible dreams. I saw her again standing in that blood-red kitchen, and she seemed to be washing her hands, and the surf on the ledge was whining up the tower, louder and louder all the time, and what it whined was, "Night after night—night after night." What woke me was cold water in my face.
My boots were hurting a bit, so I took them off, lay down on the cot to rest, and somehow fell asleep. I had terrible dreams. I saw her again standing in that blood-red kitchen, and she seemed to be washing her hands. The waves crashing on the ledge were whining up the tower, getting louder and louder the whole time, and what it was whining was, "Night after night—night after night." I was jolted awake by cold water on my face.
The store-room was in gloom. That scared me at first; I thought night had come, and remembered the light. But then I saw the gloom was of a storm. The floor was shining wet, and the water in my face was spray, flung up through the open door. When I ran to close it, it almost made me dizzy to see the gray-and-white breakers marching past. The land was gone; the sky shut down heavy overhead; there was a piece of wreckage on the back of a swell, and the Jacob's-ladder was carried clean away. How that sea had picked up so quick I can't think. I looked at my watch and it wasn't four in the afternoon yet.
The storeroom was dark. At first, it scared me; I thought night had fallen and remembered the light. But then I realized the darkness was from a storm. The floor was shiny and wet, and the water on my face was spray, splashed up through the open door. When I ran to close it, it almost made me dizzy to see the gray-and-white waves rolling by. The land was gone; the sky was heavy overhead; there was a piece of wreckage on a swell, and the Jacob's ladder was completely washed away. I can't believe how quickly the sea had picked up. I looked at my watch, and it wasn't even four in the afternoon yet.
When I closed the door, sir, it was almost dark in the store-room. I'd never been in the Light before in a gale of wind. I wondered why I was shivering so, till I found it was the floor below me shivering, and the walls and stair. Horrible crunchings and grindings ran away up the tower, and now and then there was a great thud somewhere, like a cannon-shot in a cave. I tell you, sir, I was alone, and I was in a mortal fright for a minute or so. And yet I had to get myself together. There was the light up there not tended to, and an early dark coming on and a heavy night and all, and I had to go. And I had to pass that door.
When I closed the door, sir, it was almost dark in the storage room. I had never experienced the light during such a strong wind before. I wondered why I was shivering so much until I realized it was the floor beneath me shaking, along with the walls and stairs. Terrifying crunching and grinding sounds echoed up the tower, and every now and then there was a loud thud, like a cannon going off in a cave. I tell you, sir, I was alone, and I was really scared for a minute or so. And yet I had to pull myself together. The light up there needed attention, and it was getting dark early with a heavy night ahead, and I had to go. I had to pass that door.
You'll say it's foolish, sir, and maybe it was foolish. Maybe it was because I hadn't eaten. But I began thinking of that door up there the minute I set foot on the stair, and all the way up through that howling dark well I dreaded to pass it. I told myself I wouldn't stop. I didn't stop. I felt the landing underfoot and I went on, four steps, five—and then I couldn't. I turned and went back. I put out my hand and it went on into nothing. That door, sir, was open again.
You'll say it's stupid, sir, and maybe it was stupid. Maybe it was because I hadn’t eaten. But I started thinking about that door up there the moment I stepped on the stair, and all the way up through that howling dark, I dreaded passing it. I told myself I wouldn’t stop. I didn’t stop. I felt the landing under my feet and I kept going, four steps, five—and then I couldn’t. I turned and went back. I reached out my hand and it went into nothing. That door, sir, was open again.
I left it be; I went on up to the light-room and set to work. It was Bedlam there, sir, screeching Bedlam, but I took no notice. I kept my eyes down. I trimmed those seven wicks, sir, as neat as ever they were trimmed; I polished the brass till it shone, and I dusted the lens. It wasn't till that was done that I let myself look back to see who it was standing there, half out of sight in the well. It was her, sir.
I left it alone and went up to the light room to get to work. It was chaotic there, sir, absolute chaos, but I ignored it. I kept my head down. I trimmed those seven wicks as neatly as ever; I polished the brass until it shone, and I dusted the lens. It wasn't until I finished that I allowed myself to look back and see who was standing there, half-hidden in the well. It was her, sir.
"Where'd you come from?" I asked. I remember my voice was sharp.
"Where did you come from?" I asked. I remember my voice was sharp.
"Up Jacob's-ladder," said she, and hers was like the syrup of flowers.
"Up Jacob's-ladder," she said, and hers was like the sweet syrup of flowers.
I shook my head. I was savage, sir. "The ladder's carried away."
I shook my head. I was ruthless, sir. "The ladder's gone."
"I cast it off," said she, with a smile.
"I threw it away," she said, smiling.
"Then," said I, "you must have come while I was asleep." Another thought came on me heavy as a ton of lead. "And where's he?" said I. "Where's the boat?"
"Then," I said, "you must have come while I was asleep." Another thought hit me like a ton of bricks. "And where's he?" I asked. "Where's the boat?"
"He's drowned," said she, as easy as that. "And I let the boat go adrift. You wouldn't hear me when I called."
"He's drowned," she said, just like that. "And I let the boat drift away. You didn't hear me when I called."
"But look here," said I. "If you came through the store-room, why didn't you wake me up? Tell me that!" It sounds foolish enough, me standing like a lawyer in court, trying to prove she couldn't be there.
"But look here," I said. "If you came through the store-room, why didn't you wake me up? Explain that!" It sounds pretty silly, me standing there like a lawyer in court, trying to prove she couldn't be there.
She didn't answer for a moment. I guess she sighed, though I couldn't hear for the gale, and her eyes grew soft, sir, so soft.
She didn’t reply for a moment. I think she sighed, but I couldn’t hear over the wind, and her eyes became gentle, really gentle.
"I couldn't," said she. "You looked so peaceful—dear one."
"I couldn't," she said. "You looked so peaceful—my dear."
My cheeks and neck went hot, sir, as if a warm iron was laid on them. I didn't know what to say. I began to stammer, "What do you mean—" but she was going back down the stair, out of sight. My God sir, and I used not to think she was good-looking!
My cheeks and neck flushed, sir, like a warm iron was pressed against them. I didn’t know what to say. I started to stutter, "What do you mean—" but she was heading down the stairs, out of sight. Oh my God, sir, and I used to think she wasn't attractive!
I started to follow her. I wanted to know what she meant. Then I said to myself, "If I don't go—if I wait here—she'll come back." And I went to the weather side and stood looking out of the window. Not that there was much to see. It was growing dark, and the Seven Brothers looked like the mane of a running horse, a great, vast, white horse running into the wind. The air was a-welter with it. I caught one peep of a fisherman, lying down flat trying to weather the ledge, and I said, "God help them all to-night," and then I went hot at sound of that "God."
I started to follow her because I wanted to understand what she meant. Then I told myself, "If I don't go—if I just wait here—she'll come back." So, I moved to the side with the best view and stood looking out the window. Not that there was much to see. It was getting dark, and the Seven Brothers looked like the mane of a galloping horse, a huge, white horse rushing into the wind. The air was filled with it. I caught a glimpse of a fisherman lying flat, trying to handle the ledge, and I thought, "God help them all tonight," and then I felt a heat at the mention of "God."
I was right about her, though. She was back again. I wanted her to speak first, before I turned, but she wouldn't. I didn't hear her go out; I didn't know what she was up to till I saw her coming outside on the walk-around, drenched wet already. I pounded on the glass for her to come in and not be a fool; if she heard she gave no sign of it.
I was right about her, though. She was back again. I wanted her to speak first before I turned, but she wouldn’t. I didn’t hear her leave; I didn’t know what she was doing until I saw her come outside on the walkway, already completely soaked. I banged on the glass for her to come in and not act foolish; if she heard, she didn’t show it.
There she stood, and there I stood watching her. Lord, sir—was it just that I'd never had eyes to see? Or are there women who bloom? Her clothes were shining on her, like a carving, and her hair was let down like a golden curtain tossing and streaming in the gale, and there she stood with her lips half open, drinking, and her eyes half closed, gazing straight away over the Seven Brothers, and her shoulders swaying, as if in tune with the wind and water and all the ruin. And when I looked at her hands over the rail, sir, they were moving in each other as if they bathed, and then I remembered, sir.
There she was, and there I was watching her. Wow, was it that I just never really saw her before? Or do some women just shine like this? Her clothes hugged her perfectly, like a sculpture, and her hair flowed down like a golden curtain blowing in the wind. She stood there with her lips slightly parted, drinking, and her eyes half closed, staring out over the Seven Brothers. Her shoulders swayed, almost in harmony with the wind and water and all the chaos around her. And when I looked at her hands resting on the rail, they seemed to intertwine like they were dancing, and then I remembered.
A cold horror took me. I knew now why she had come back again. She wasn't a woman—she was a devil. I turned my back on her. I said to myself: "It's time to light up. You've got to light up"—like that, over and over, out loud. My hand was shivering so I could hardly find a match; and when I scratched it, it only flared a second and then went out in the back draught from the open door. She was standing in the doorway, looking at me. It's queer, sir, but I felt like a child caught in mischief.
A chilling fear washed over me. I finally understood why she had returned. She wasn't just a woman—she was a devil. I turned away from her. I kept telling myself, "It's time to light up. You need to light up"—saying it over and over, out loud. My hand was shaking so much that I could barely find a match; and when I struck it, it only flared for a moment before going out from the draft coming through the open door. She was standing in the doorway, watching me. It's strange, but I felt like a kid who had been caught doing something wrong.
"I—I—was going to light up," I managed to say, finally.
"I—I—was going to light up," I finally managed to say.
"Why?" said she. No, I can't say it as she did.
"Why?" she said. No, I can't say it like she did.
"Why?" said I. "My God!"
"Why?" I said. "My God!"
She came nearer, laughing, as if with pity, low, you know. "Your God? And who is your God? What is God? What is anything on a night like this?"
She approached, laughing softly, almost mockingly, you know. "Your God? And who is your God? What is God? What does anything matter on a night like this?"
I drew back from her. All I could say anything about was the light.
I pulled away from her. All I could talk about was the light.
"Why not the dark?" said she. "Dark is softer than light—tenderer—dearer than light. From the dark up here, away up here in the wind and storm, we can watch the ships go by, you and I. And you love me so. You've loved me so long, Ray."
"Why not the dark?" she said. "Dark is softer than light—more tender—more precious than light. From up here in the dark, away from the wind and storm, we can watch the ships pass by, you and me. And you love me so. You've loved me for so long, Ray."
"I never have!" I struck out at her. "I don't! I don't!"
"I never have!" I snapped at her. "I don't! I don't!"
Her voice was lower than ever, but there was the same laughing pity in it. "Oh yes, you have." And she was near me again.
Her voice was quieter than ever, but it still had that same playful pity in it. "Oh yeah, you have." And she was close to me again.
"I have?" I yelled. "I'll show you! I'll show you if I have!"
"I have?" I shouted. "I'll prove it to you! I'll prove it if I do!"
I got another match, sir, and scratched it on the brass. I gave it to the first wick, the little wick that's inside all the others. It bloomed like a yellow flower. "I have?" I yelled, and gave it to the next.
I got another match, sir, and scratched it on the brass. I gave it to the first wick, the tiny wick that's inside all the others. It bloomed like a yellow flower. "I have?" I yelled, and passed it to the next.
Then there was a shadow, and I saw she was leaning beside me, her two elbows on the brass, her two arms stretched out above the wicks, her bare forearms and wrists and hands. I gave a gasp:
Then there was a shadow, and I saw she was leaning beside me, her elbows on the brass, her arms stretched out above the wicks, her bare forearms, wrists, and hands. I gasped:
"Take care! You'll burn them! For God's sake——"
"Be careful! You'll burn them! For goodness' sake——"
She didn't move or speak. The match burned my fingers and went out, and all I could do was stare at those arms of hers, helpless. I'd never noticed her arms before. They were rounded and graceful and covered with a soft down, like a breath of gold. Then I heard her speaking close to my ear.
She didn't move or say anything. The match burned my fingers and went out, and all I could do was stare at her arms, feeling helpless. I had never noticed her arms before. They were rounded and graceful, covered with a soft fuzz, like a hint of gold. Then I heard her speaking right next to my ear.
"Pretty arms," she said. "Pretty arms!"
"Nice arms," she said. "Nice arms!"
I turned. Her eyes were fixed on mine. They seemed heavy, as if with sleep, and yet between their lids they were two wells, deep and deep, and as if they held all the things I'd ever thought or dreamed in them. I looked away from them, at her lips. Her lips were red as poppies, heavy with redness. They moved, and I heard them speaking:
I turned. Her eyes were locked onto mine. They looked heavy, as if filled with sleep, yet between her eyelids, they were two deep wells, as if they contained everything I had ever thought or dreamed. I looked away from them and focused on her lips. Her lips were as red as poppies, full of color. They moved, and I heard her speaking:
"Poor boy, you love me so, and you want to kiss me—don't you?"
"Poor boy, you love me so much, and you want to kiss me—don't you?"
"No," said I. But I couldn't turn around. I looked at her hair. I'd always thought it was stringy hair. Some hair curls naturally with damp, they say, and perhaps that was it, for there were pearls of wet on it, and it was thick and shimmering around her face, making soft shadows by the temples. There was green in it, queer strands of green like braids.
"No," I said. But I couldn't turn around. I looked at her hair. I had always thought it was stringy. Some hair curls naturally when it's damp, they say, and maybe that was what was happening, because there were droplets of water on it, and it was thick and shining around her face, casting soft shadows by her temples. There were green strands in it, odd bits of green like braids.
"What is it?" said I.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Nothing but weed," said she, with that slow, sleepy smile.
"Just weed," she said with that slow, sleepy smile.
Somehow or other I felt calmer than I had any time. "Look here," said I. "I'm going to light this lamp." I took out a match, scratched it, and touched the third wick. The flame ran around, bigger than the other two together. But still her arms hung there. I bit my lip. "By God, I will!" said I to myself, and I lit the fourth.
Somehow, I felt calmer than ever before. "Look," I said. "I'm going to light this lamp." I took out a match, struck it, and touched the third wick. The flame flared up, bigger than the other two combined. But her arms still hung there. I bit my lip. "I swear, I will!" I said to myself, and I lit the fourth.
It was fierce, sir, fierce! And yet those arms never trembled. I had to look around at her. Her eyes were still looking into mine, so deep and deep, and her red lips were still smiling with that queer, sleepy droop; the only thing was that tears were raining down her cheeks—big, glowing round, jewel tears. It wasn't human, sir. It was like a dream.
It was intense, sir, intense! Yet her arms never shook. I had to glance at her. Her eyes were still locked on mine, so deep and profound, and her red lips were still smiling with that strange, sleepy droop; the only difference was that tears were streaming down her cheeks—big, glowing, round, jewel-like tears. It wasn't human, sir. It felt like a dream.
"Pretty arms," she sighed, and then, as if those words had broken something in her heart, there came a great sob bursting from her lips. To hear it drove me mad. I reached to drag her away, but she was too quick, sir; she cringed from me and slipped out from between my hands. It was like she faded away, sir, and went down in a bundle, nursing her poor arms and mourning over them with those terrible, broken sobs.
"Beautiful arms," she sighed, and then, as if those words had shattered something in her heart, a loud sob escaped her lips. Hearing it drove me crazy. I tried to pull her away, but she was too quick, sir; she recoiled from me and slipped out from my grasp. It was like she disappeared, sir, collapsing in a heap, cradling her poor arms and mourning over them with those awful, broken sobs.
The sound of them took the manhood out of me—you'd have been the same, sir. I knelt down beside her on the floor and covered my face.
The sound of them made me feel less like a man—you would have felt the same, sir. I knelt down next to her on the floor and covered my face.
"Please!" I moaned. "Please! Please!" That's all I could say. I wanted her to forgive me. I reached out a hand, blind, for forgiveness, and I couldn't find her anywhere. I had hurt her so, and she was afraid of me, of me, sir, who loved her so deep it drove me crazy.
"Please!" I begged. "Please! Please!" That was all I could say. I wanted her to forgive me. I reached out a hand, desperately searching for forgiveness, but I couldn't find her anywhere. I had hurt her so much, and she was scared of me, of me, who loved her so deeply it drove me insane.
I could see her down the stair, though it was dim and my eyes were filled with tears. I stumbled after her, crying, "Please! Please!" The little wicks I'd lit were blowing in the wind from the door and smoking the glass beside them black. One went out. I pleaded with them, the same as I would plead with a human being. I said I'd be back in a second. I promised. And I went on down the stair, crying like a baby because I'd hurt her, and she was afraid of me—of me, sir.
I could see her down the stairs, even though it was dim and my eyes were filled with tears. I stumbled after her, crying, "Please! Please!" The little candles I had lit were flickering in the wind from the door, and they were smoking the glass beside them black. One went out. I begged them, just like I would beg a person. I said I’d be back in a second. I promised. And I continued down the stairs, crying like a baby because I had hurt her, and she was scared of me—of me, sir.
She had gone into her room. The door was closed against me and I could hear her sobbing beyond it, broken-hearted. My heart was broken too. I beat on the door with my palms. I begged her to forgive me. I told her I loved her. And all the answer was that sobbing in the dark.
She went into her room. The door was shut against me, and I could hear her crying on the other side, heartbroken. My heart was broken too. I pounded on the door with my hands. I asked her to forgive me. I told her I loved her. And all that came back was that sobbing in the dark.
And then I lifted the latch and went in, groping, pleading. "Dearest—please! Because I love you!"
And then I lifted the latch and went in, feeling my way, begging. "Darling—please! Because I love you!"
I heard her speak down near the floor. There wasn't any anger in her voice; nothing but sadness and despair.
I heard her speaking down near the floor. There was no anger in her voice; just sadness and despair.
"No," said she. "You don't love me, Ray. You never have."
"No," she said. "You don't love me, Ray. You never have."
"I do! I have!"
"I do! I have!"
"No, no," said she, as if she was tired out.
"No, no," she said, sounding exhausted.
"Where are you?" I was groping for her. I thought, and lit a match. She had got to the door and was standing there as if ready to fly. I went toward her, and she made me stop. She took my breath away. "I hurt your arms," said I, in a dream.
"Where are you?" I was reaching out for her. I thought for a moment and lit a match. She had reached the door and was standing there, as if ready to take off. I walked toward her, but she made me stop. She took my breath away. "I hurt your arms," I said, feeling dazed.
"No," said she, hardly moving her lips. She held them out to the match's light for me to look and there was never a scar on them—not even that soft, golden down was singed, sir. "You can't hurt my body," said she, sad as anything. "Only my heart, Ray; my poor heart."
"No," she said, barely moving her lips. She held her hands out to the match's light for me to see, and there was never a scar on them—not even that soft, golden down was burned, sir. "You can't hurt my body," she said, as sad as anything. "Only my heart, Ray; my poor heart."
I tell you again, she took my breath away. I lit another match. "How can you be so beautiful?" I wondered.
I’ll say it again, she took my breath away. I lit another match. "How can you be so beautiful?" I thought.
She answered in riddles—but oh, the sadness of her, sir.
She responded with riddles—but oh, the sadness in her, sir.
"Because," said she, "I've always so wanted to be."
"Because," she said, "I've always wanted to be."
"How come your eyes so heavy?" said I.
"Why are your eyes so heavy?" I asked.
"Because I've seen so many things I never dreamed of," said she.
"Because I've seen so many things I never imagined," she said.
"How come your hair so thick?"
"Why is your hair so thick?"
"It's the seaweed makes it thick," said she smiling queer, queer.
"It's the seaweed that makes it thick," she said, smiling strangely.
"How come seaweed there?"
"Why is there seaweed?"
"Out of the bottom of the sea."
"From the depths of the ocean."
She talked in riddles, but it was like poetry to hear her, or a song.
She spoke in riddles, but it was like listening to poetry, or a song.
"How come your lips so red?" said I.
"Why are your lips so red?" I asked.
"Because they've wanted so long to be kissed."
"Because they've wanted to be kissed for so long."
Fire was on me, sir. I reached out to catch her, but she was gone, out of the door and down the stair. I followed, stumbling. I must have tripped on the turn, for I remember going through the air and fetching up with a crash, and I didn't know anything for a spell—how long I can't say. When I came to, she was there, somewhere, bending over me, crooning, "My love—my love—" under her breath like, a song.
Fire was all around me, sir. I reached out to grab her, but she was already out the door and down the stairs. I followed, tripping as I went. I must have stumbled on the turn because I remember flying through the air and crashing down, and I lost consciousness for a while—I can't say how long. When I came to, she was there, leaning over me, softly singing, "My love—my love—" under her breath like a song.
But then when I got up, she was not where my arms went; she was down the stair again, just ahead of me. I followed her. I was tottering and dizzy and full of pain. I tried to catch up with her in the dark of the store-room, but she was too quick for me, sir, always a little too quick for me. Oh, she was cruel to me, sir. I kept bumping against things, hurting myself still worse, and it was cold and wet and a horrible noise all the while, sir; and then, sir, I found the door was open, and a sea had parted the hinges.
But when I got up, she wasn't where I reached for; she was down the stairs again, just ahead of me. I followed her. I was staggering, dizzy, and in pain. I tried to catch up with her in the dark of the storeroom, but she was too fast for me, sir, always just a bit quicker. Oh, she was so cruel to me, sir. I kept bumping into things, hurting myself even more, and it was cold and wet with a terrible noise the whole time, sir; and then, sir, I found the door was open, and a sea had parted the hinges.
I don't know how it all went, sir. I'd tell you if I could, but it's all so blurred—sometimes it seems more like a dream. I couldn't find her any more; I couldn't hear her; I went all over, everywhere. Once, I remember, I found myself hanging out of that door between the davits, looking down into those big black seas and crying like a baby. It's all riddles and blur. I can't seem to tell you much, sir. It was all—all—I don't know.
I’m not sure how it all happened, sir. I’d share if I could, but it’s all a blur—sometimes it feels more like a dream. I couldn’t find her anymore; I couldn’t hear her; I went everywhere. Once, I remember, I found myself hanging out of that door between the davits, looking down into those huge, dark waves and crying like a baby. It’s all confusing and hazy. I can’t really tell you much, sir. It was all— it was just—I don’t know.
I was talking to somebody else—not her. It was the Inspector. I hardly knew it was the Inspector. His face was as gray as a blanket, and his eyes were bloodshot, and his lips were twisted. His left wrist hung down, awkward. It was broken coming aboard the Light in that sea. Yes, we were in the living-room. Yes, sir, it was daylight—gray daylight. I tell you, sir, the man looked crazy to me. He was waving his good arm toward the weather windows, and what he was saying, over and over, was this:
I was talking to someone else—not her. It was the Inspector. I barely recognized him. His face was as gray as a blanket, his eyes were bloodshot, and his lips were twisted. His left wrist hung down awkwardly. It was broken when he came aboard the Light in that rough sea. Yes, we were in the living room. Yes, sir, it was daylight—gray daylight. I tell you, sir, the guy looked crazy to me. He was waving his good arm toward the weather windows, and what he kept saying was this:
"Look what you done, damn you! Look what you done!"
"Look at what you've done, damn you! Look at what you've done!"
And what I was saying was this:
And what I was saying was this:
"I've lost her!"
"I've lost her!"
I didn't pay any attention to him, nor him to me. By and by he did, though. He stopped his talking all of a sudden, and his eyes looked like the devil's eyes. He put them up close to mine. He grabbed my arm with his good hand, and I cried, I was so weak.
I ignored him, and he ignored me. Eventually, though, he stopped talking all of a sudden, and his eyes looked wild. He brought them in close to mine. He grabbed my arm with his good hand, and I cried out because I felt so weak.
"Johnson," said he, "is that it? By the living God—if you got a woman out here, Johnson!"
"Johnson," he said, "is that it? By the living God—if you have a woman out here, Johnson!"
"No," said I. "I've lost her."
"No," I said. "I've lost her."
"What do you mean—lost her?"
"What do you mean—lost her?"
"It was dark," said I—and it's funny how my head was clearing up—"and the door was open—the store-room door—and I was after her—and I guess she stumbled, maybe—and I lost her."
"It was dark," I said—and it's funny how my mind was clearing up—"and the door was open—the store-room door—and I was after her—and I guess she tripped, maybe—and I lost her."
"Johnson," said he, "what do you mean? You sound crazy—downright crazy. Who?"
"Johnson," he said, "what do you mean? You sound insane—totally insane. Who?"
"Her," said I. "Fedderson's wife."
"Her," I said. "Fedderson's wife."
"Who?"
"Who?"
"Her," said I. And with that he gave my arm another jerk.
"Her," I said. With that, he gave my arm another jerk.
"Listen," said he, like a tiger. "Don't try that on me. It won't do any good—that kind of lies—not where you're going to. Fedderson and his wife, too—the both of 'em's drowned deader 'n a door-nail."
"Listen," he said, like a tiger. "Don’t try that with me. It won’t work—those kinds of lies—not where you’re headed. Fedderson and his wife, too—both of them are dead as a doornail."
"I know," said I, nodding my head. I was so calm it made him wild.
"I know," I said, nodding my head. I was so calm it drove him crazy.
"You're crazy! Crazy as a loon, Johnson!" And he was chewing his lip red. "I know, because it was me that found the old man laying on Back Water Flats yesterday morning—me! And she'd been with him in the boat, too, because he had a piece of her jacket tore off, tangled in his arm."
"You're insane! Insane as can be, Johnson!" He was gnawing on his lip until it was red. "I know, because I was the one who discovered the old man lying on Back Water Flats yesterday morning—me! And she had been with him in the boat too, because he had a torn piece of her jacket caught in his arm."
"I know," said I, nodding again, like that.
"I know," I said, nodding again, like that.
"You know what, you crazy, murdering fool?" Those were his words to me, sir.
"You know what, you crazy, murdering fool?" Those were his words to me, sir.
"I know," said I, "what I know."
"I know," I said, "what I know."
"And I know," said he, "what I know."
"And I know," he said, "what I know."
And there you are, sir. He's Inspector. I'm—nobody.
And there you are, sir. He's the Inspector. I'm—nobody.
At the Gate
By MYLA JO CLOSSERBy Myla Jo Closser
From the Century Magazine. By permission of the Century Company and Myla J. Closser.
From the Century Magazine. By permission of the Century Company and Myla J. Closser.
A shaggy Airedale scented his way along the highroad. He had not been there before, but he was guided by the trail of his brethren who had preceded him. He had gone unwillingly upon this journey, yet with the perfect training of dogs he had accepted it without complaint. The path had been lonely, and his heart would have failed him, traveling as he must without his people, had not these traces of countless dogs before him promised companionship of a sort at the end of the road.
A scruffy Airedale followed the scent along the road. He hadn’t been there before, but he was led by the trail left by other dogs who had come before him. He hadn’t wanted to go on this journey, but with the training of a dog, he accepted it without complaint. The path had been lonely, and he would have felt discouraged, traveling alone without his people, if it weren’t for the signs of many dogs before him that promised some kind of companionship at the end of the road.
The landscape had appeared arid at first, for the translation from recent agony into freedom from pain had been so numbing in its swiftness that it was some time before he could fully appreciate the pleasant dog-country through which he was passing. There were woods with leaves upon the ground through which to scurry, long grassy slopes for extended runs, and lakes into which he might plunge for sticks and bring them back to—But he did not complete his thought, for the boy was not with him. A little wave of homesickness possessed him.
The landscape initially seemed dry because the shift from recent suffering to freedom from pain had been so overwhelming that it took him a while to truly enjoy the lovely countryside he was moving through. There were woods with leaves scattered on the ground to run through, long grassy hills for running, and lakes where he could dive in for sticks and bring them back to—But he didn’t finish his thought because the boy wasn’t with him. A wave of homesickness hit him.
It made his mind easier to see far ahead a great gate as high as the heavens, wide enough for all. He understood that only man built such barriers and by straining his eyes he fancied he could discern humans passing through to whatever lay beyond. He broke into a run that he might the more quickly gain this inclosure made beautiful by men and women; but his thoughts outran his pace, and he remembered that he had left the family behind, and again this lovely new compound became not perfect, since it would lack the family.
It eased his mind to see a massive gate ahead, towering like the sky and wide enough for everyone. He realized that only humans created such barriers, and by squinting, he imagined he could see people moving through to whatever was beyond. He broke into a run, eager to reach this beautiful space made by men and women; but his thoughts raced ahead of him, and he remembered he had left his family behind, making this lovely new place feel less perfect since it would be missing them.
The scent of the dogs grew very strong now, and coming nearer, he discovered, to his astonishment that of the myriads of those who had arrived ahead of him thousands were still gathered on the outside of the portal. They sat in a wide circle spreading out on each side of the entrance, big, little, curly, handsome, mongrel, thoroughbred dogs of every age, complexion, and personality. All were apparently waiting for something, someone, and at the pad of the Airedale's feet on the hard road they arose and looked in his direction.
The smell of the dogs was really strong now, and as he got closer, he was amazed to see that out of the countless dogs that had come before him, thousands were still gathered outside the entrance. They sat in a wide circle on either side of the portal, big and small, curly and sleek, beautiful and mixed-breed dogs of every age, color, and personality. All of them seemed to be waiting for something, someone, and as the Airedale approached, they stood up and looked in his direction.
That the interest passed as soon as they discovered the new-comer to be a dog puzzled him. In his former dwelling-place a four-footed brother was greeted with enthusiasm when he was a friend, with suspicious diplomacy when a stranger, and with sharp reproof when an enemy; but never had he been utterly ignored.
That the interest faded as soon as they realized the newcomer was a dog confused him. In his previous home, a four-legged friend was welcomed with excitement when he was familiar, approached with cautious diplomacy when he was unknown, and met with stern disapproval when he was a foe; but he had never been completely overlooked.
He remembered something that he had read many times on great buildings with lofty entrances. "Dogs not admitted," the signs had said, and he feared this might be the reason for the waiting circle outside the gate. It might be that this noble portal stood as the dividing-line between mere dogs and humans. But he had been a member of the family, romping with them in the living-room, sitting at meals with them in the dining-room, going upstairs at night with them, and the thought that he was to be "kept out" would be unendurable.
He remembered something he had read many times on grand buildings with tall entrances. "No dogs allowed," the signs had said, and he worried this might be why there was a waiting circle outside the gate. It could be that this impressive entrance marked the line between just dogs and humans. But he had been part of the family, playing with them in the living room, eating meals with them in the dining room, going upstairs at night with them, and the thought of being "kept out" would be unbearable.
He despised the passive dogs. They should be treating a barrier after the fashion of their old country, leaping against it, barking, and scratching the nicely painted door. He bounded up the last little hill to set them an example, for he was still full of the rebellion of the world; but he found no door to leap against. He could see beyond the entrance dear masses of people, yet no dog crossed the threshold. They continued in their patient ring, their gaze upon the winding road.
He hated the lazy dogs. They should be acting like they did back in their old country, jumping against a barrier, barking, and scratching at the nicely painted door. He charged up the last little hill to show them how it’s done because he was still filled with the rebellion of the world; but there was no door to jump against. He could see beyond the entrance a huge crowd of people, yet no dog crossed the line. They just stayed in their patient circle, looking at the winding road.
He now advanced cautiously to examine the gate. It occurred to him that it must be fly-time in this region, and he did not wish to make himself ridiculous before all these strangers by trying to bolt through an invisible mesh like the one that had baffled him when he was a little chap. Yet there were no screens, and despair entered his soul. What bitter punishment these poor beasts must have suffered before they learned to stay on this side the arch that led to human beings! What had they done on earth to merit this? Stolen bones troubled his conscience, runaway days, sleeping in the best chair until the key clicked in the lock. These were sins.
He carefully approached the gate to take a look. It dawned on him that it was likely fly season around here, and he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of all these strangers by trying to rush through an invisible barrier like the one that had confused him when he was a kid. But there were no screens, and despair filled him. What terrible suffering these poor animals must have endured before they learned to stay on this side of the arch that led to humans! What had they done to deserve this? Stolen bones weighed on his conscience, carefree days, dozing in the best chair until the key turned in the lock. These were his wrongs.
At that moment an English bull-terrier, white, with liver-colored spots and a jaunty manner, approached him, snuffling in a friendly way. No sooner had the bull-terrier smelt his collar than he fell to expressing his joy at meeting him. The Airedale's reserve was quite thawed by this welcome, though he did not know just what to make of it.
At that moment, a white English bull-terrier with liver-colored spots and a playful attitude came up to him, sniffing in a friendly way. As soon as the bull-terrier caught the scent of his collar, he started showing his excitement at meeting him. The Airedale's aloofness melted away at this warm greeting, even though he wasn't quite sure how to respond.
"I know you! I know you!" exclaimed the bull-terrier, adding inconsequently, "What's your name?"
"I know you! I know you!" the bull-terrier exclaimed, adding seemingly out of nowhere, "What's your name?"
"Tam o'Shanter. They call me Tammy," was the answer, with a pardonable break in the voice.
"Tam o'Shanter. They call me Tammy," was the reply, with a slight tremor in the voice.
"I know them," said the bull-terrier. "Nice folks."
"I know them," said the bull-terrier. "Good people."
"Best ever," said the Airedale, trying to be nonchalant, and scratching a flea which was not there. "I don't remember you. When did you know them?"
"Best ever," said the Airedale, trying to act cool, and scratching at a nonexistent flea. "I don't remember you. When did you meet them?"
"About fourteen tags ago, when they were first married. We keep track of time here by the license-tags. I had four."
"About fourteen tags ago, when they first got married. We keep track of time here by the license tags. I had four."
"This is my first and only one. You were before my time, I guess." He felt young and shy.
"This is my first and only one. I guess you were before my time." He felt young and shy.
"Come for a walk, and tell me all about them," was his new friend's invitation.
"Come take a walk and tell me all about them," was his new friend's invitation.
"Aren't we allowed in there?" asked Tam, looking toward the gate.
"Aren't we allowed in there?" Tam asked, looking toward the gate.
"Sure. You can go in whenever you want to. Some of us do at first, but we don't stay."
"Sure. You can go in whenever you want. Some of us do at first, but we don't stick around."
"Like it better outside?"
"Prefer being outside?"
"No, no; it isn't that."
"No, that's not it."
"Then why are all you fellows hanging around here? Any old dog can see it's better beyond the arch."
"Then why are you guys just hanging around here? Anyone can tell it's better beyond the arch."
"You see, we're waiting for our folks to come."
"You see, we’re waiting for our people to arrive."
The Airedale grasped it at once, and nodded understandingly.
The Airedale understood immediately and nodded in agreement.
"I felt that way when I came along the road. It wouldn't be what it's supposed to be without them. It wouldn't be the perfect place."
"I felt that way when I walked along the road. It wouldn't be what it's meant to be without them. It wouldn't be the perfect place."
"Not to us," said the bull-terrier.
"Not for us," said the bull terrier.
"Fine! I've stolen bones, but it must be that I have been forgiven, if I'm to see them here again. It's the great good place all right. But look here," he added as a new thought struck him, "do they wait for us?"
"Okay! I've taken bones, but I must have been forgiven if I'm seeing them here again. This place is definitely amazing. But wait," he added as a new thought crossed his mind, "are they waiting for us?"
The older inhabitant coughed in slight embarrassment.
The older resident cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed.
"The humans couldn't do that very well. It wouldn't be the thing to have them hang around outside for just a dog—not dignified."
"The people couldn't do that very well. It wouldn't be right to have them wait outside for just a dog—not dignified."
"Quite right," agreed Tam. "I'm glad they go straight to their mansions. I'd—I'd hate to have them missing me as I am missing them." He sighed. "But, then, they wouldn't have to wait so long."
"That's true," Tam replied. "I'm glad they head straight to their homes. I—I'd hate for them to miss me like I'm missing them." He sighed. "But, then, they wouldn't have to wait so long."
"Oh, well, they're getting on. Don't be discouraged," comforted the terrier. "And in the meantime it's like a big hotel in summer—watching the new arrivals. See, there is something doing now."
"Oh, well, they're making progress. Don't be discouraged," comforted the terrier. "And for now, it's like a big hotel in the summer—watching the new arrivals. Look, something is happening right now."
All the dogs were aroused to excitement by a little figure making its way uncertainly up the last slope. Half of them started to meet it, crowding about in a loving, eager pack.
All the dogs were stirred up with excitement by a small figure making its way hesitantly up the final hill. Half of them rushed to greet it, crowding around in a loving, eager bunch.
"Look out; don't scare it," cautioned the older animals, while word was passed to those farthest from the gate: "Quick! Quick! A baby's come!"
"Watch out; don’t frighten it," warned the older animals, while word spread to those farthest from the gate: "Hurry! Hurry! A baby’s arrived!"
Before they had entirely assembled, however, a gaunt yellow hound pushed through the crowd, gave one sniff at the small child, and with a yelp of joy crouched at its feet. The baby embraced the hound in recognition, and the two moved toward the gate. Just outside the hound stopped to speak to an aristocratic St. Bernard who had been friendly:
Before they were completely gathered, though, a skinny yellow dog pushed through the crowd, sniffed the small child, and with a happy yelp, crouched at its feet. The baby hugged the dog in recognition, and the two headed toward the gate. Just outside the gate, the dog paused to chat with a fancy St. Bernard who had been friendly:
"Sorry to leave you, old fellow," he said, "but I'm going in to watch over the kid. You see, I'm all she has up here."
"Sorry to leave you, my friend," he said, "but I need to go in and take care of the kid. You see, I'm all she's got up here."
The bull-terrier looked at the Airedale for appreciation.
The bull terrier glanced at the Airedale in admiration.
"That's the way we do it," he said proudly.
"That's how we do it," he said proudly.
"Yes, but—" the Airedale put his head on one side in perplexity.
"Yeah, but—" the Airedale tilted his head to the side in confusion.
"Yes, but what?" asked the guide.
"Yes, but what?" asked the guide.
"The dogs that don't have any people—the nobodies' dogs?"
"The dogs that don't have any people—the nobody's dogs?"
"That's the best of all. Oh, everything is thought out here. Crouch down,—you must be tired,—and watch," said the bull-terrier.
"That's the best part of it all. Oh, everything is well thought out here. Crouch down—you must be tired—and take a look," said the bull-terrier.
Soon they spied another small form making the turn in the road. He wore a Boy Scout's uniform, but he was a little fearful, for all that, so new was this adventure. The dogs rose again and snuffled, but the better groomed of the circle held back, and in their place a pack of odds and ends of the company ran down to meet him. The Boy Scout was reassured by their friendly attitude, and after petting them impartially, he chose an old-fashioned black and tan, and the two passed in.
Soon they spotted another small figure rounding the bend in the road. He was wearing a Boy Scout uniform, but he looked a bit nervous, as this adventure was so new to him. The dogs got up again and sniffed around, but the more well-groomed ones in the group held back, and instead, a mix of other dogs from the company ran down to greet him. The Boy Scout felt reassured by their friendly behavior, and after giving them some affection equally, he picked an old-fashioned black and tan dog, and the two moved on.
Tam looked questioningly.
Tam looked puzzled.
"They didn't know each other!" he exclaimed.
"They didn't know each other!" he said.
"But they've always wanted to. That's one of the boys who used to beg for a dog, but his father wouldn't let him have one. So all our strays wait for just such little fellows to come along. Every boy gets a dog, and every dog gets a master."
"But they've always wanted to. That's one of the boys who used to beg for a dog, but his dad wouldn't let him have one. So all our strays wait for just such kids to come along. Every boy gets a dog, and every dog gets a owner."
"I expect the boy's father would like to know that now," commented the Airedale. "No doubt he thinks quite often, 'I wish I'd let him have a dog.'"
"I imagine the boy's dad would like to know that now," commented the Airedale. "I'm sure he thinks pretty often, 'I wish I'd let him have a dog.'"
The bull-terrier laughed.
The bull-terrier chuckled.
"You're pretty near the earth yet, aren't you?"
"You're still pretty close to the ground, right?"
Tam admitted it.
Tam confessed it.
"I've a lot of sympathy with fathers and with boys, having them both in the family, and a mother as well."
"I really feel for dads and boys since I have both in the family, along with a mom too."
The bull-terrier leaped up in astonishment.
The bull-terrier jumped up in surprise.
"You don't mean to say they keep a boy?"
"You can't be serious that they keep a boy?"
"Sure; greatest boy on earth. Ten this year."
"Sure, the best boy in the world. He's ten this year."
"Well, well, this is news! I wish they'd kept a boy when I was there."
"Wow, this is surprising! I wish they had kept a guy when I was there."
The Airedale looked at his new friend intently.
The Airedale stared at his new friend closely.
"See here, who are you?" he demanded.
"Hey, who are you?" he asked.
But the other hurried on:
But the other rushed ahead:
"I used to run away from them just to play with a boy. They'd punish me, and I always wanted to tell them it was their fault for not getting one."
"I used to run away from them just to hang out with a boy. They'd punish me, and I always wanted to tell them it was their fault for not getting one."
"Who are you, anyway?" repeated Tam. "Talking all this interest in me, too. Whose dog were you?"
"Who are you, anyway?" Tam said again. "Talking all this interest in me, too. Whose dog were you?"
"You've already guessed. I see it in your quivering snout. I'm the old dog that had to leave them about ten years ago."
"You've already figured it out. I can see it in your trembling nose. I'm the old dog who had to leave them around ten years ago."
"Their old dog Bully?"
"Their old dog, Bully?"
"Yes, I'm Bully." They nosed each other with deeper affection, then strolled about the glades shoulder to shoulder. Bully the more eagerly pressed for news. "Tell me, how are they getting along?"
"Yeah, I'm Bully." They nudged each other with more affection, then walked through the glades side by side. Bully eagerly asked for news. "So, how are they doing?"
"Very well indeed; they've paid for the house."
"That's great; they've bought the house."
"I—I suppose you occupy the kennel?"
"I—I guess you stay in the kennel?"
"No. They said they couldn't stand it to see another dog in your old place."
"No. They said they couldn't handle seeing another dog in your old spot."
Bully stopped to howl gently.
Bully paused to howl softly.
"That touches me. It's generous in you to tell it. To think they missed me!"
"That really means a lot to me. It’s so kind of you to share that. Can you believe they actually missed me?"
For a little while they went on in silence, but as evening fell, and the light from the golden streets inside of the city gave the only glow to the scene, Bully grew nervous and suggested that they go back.
For a little while, they continued in silence, but as evening set in and the light from the golden streets in the city provided the only illumination, Bully became anxious and proposed that they head back.
"We can't see so well at night, and I like to be pretty close to the path, especially toward morning."
"We can't see very well at night, and I prefer to stay close to the path, especially in the early morning."
Tam assented.
Tam agreed.
"And I will point them out. You might not know them just at first."
"And I'll point them out. You might not recognize them right away."
"Oh, we know them. Sometimes the babies have so grown up they're rather hazy in their recollection of how we look. They think we're bigger than we are; but you can't fool us dogs."
"Oh, we know them. Sometimes the babies have grown up so much that they’re a bit fuzzy on how we really look. They think we're bigger than we are, but you can't trick us dogs."
"It's understood," Tam cunningly arranged, "that when he or she arrives you'll sort of make them feel at home while I wait for the boy?"
"It's understood," Tam cleverly arranged, "that when he or she arrives, you'll help them feel at home while I wait for the boy?"
"That's the best plan," assented Bully, kindly. "And if by any chance the little fellow should come first,—there's been a lot of them this summer—of course you'll introduce me?"
"That's the best plan," agreed Bully, kindly. "And if by any chance the little guy happens to come first—there have been a lot of them this summer—of course you'll introduce me?"
"I shall be proud to do it."
"I'll be proud to do it."
And so with muzzles sunk between their paws, and with their eyes straining down the pilgrims' road, they wait outside the gate.
And so, with their snouts resting between their paws and their eyes focused down the pilgrim's path, they wait outside the gate.
Ligeia
By EDGAR ALLAN POEBy Edgar Allan Poe
And the will therein lieth, which dieth not. Who knoweth the mystery of the will, with its vigor? For God is but a great will pervading all things by nature of its intentness. Man doth not yield himself to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will.—Joseph Glanvill.
The will is where it resides, something that never dies. Who understands the mystery of the will and its strength? Because God is simply a powerful will that inherently fills everything with its intention. A person does not fully surrender to angels or death, except through the weakness of their feeble will.—Joseph Glanvill.
I cannot, for my soul, remember how, when, or even precisely where, I first became acquainted with the lady Ligeia. Long years have since elapsed, and my memory is feeble through much suffering. Or, perhaps, I cannot now bring these points to mind, because, in truth, the character of my beloved, her rare learning, her singular yet placid cast of beauty, and the thrilling and enthralling eloquence of her low musical language, made their way into my heart by paces so steadily and stealthily progressive, that they have been unnoticed and unknown. Yet I believe that I met her first and most frequently in some large, old, decaying city near the Rhine. Of her family—I have surely heard her speak. That it is of a remotely ancient date cannot be doubted. Ligeia! Ligeia! Buried in studies of a nature more than all else adapted to deaden impressions of the outward world, it is by that sweet word alone—by Ligeia—that I bring before mine eyes in fancy the image of her who is no more. And now, while I write, a recollection flashes upon me that I have never known the paternal name of her who was my friend and my bethrothed, and who became the partner of my studies, and finally the wife of my bosom. Was it a playful charge on the part of my Ligeia? or was it a test of my strength of affection, that I should institute no inquiries upon this point? or was it rather a caprice of my own—a wildly romantic offering on the shrine of the most passionate devotion? I but indistinctly recall the fact itself—what wonder that I have utterly forgotten the circumstances which originated or attended it? And, indeed, if ever that spirit which is entitled Romance—if ever she, the wan misty-winged Ashtophet of idolatrous Egypt, presided, as they tell, over marriages ill-omened, then most surely she presided over mine.
I can’t for the life of me remember how, when, or exactly where I first met the lady Ligeia. Many years have passed since then, and my memory is weak due to so much suffering. Or maybe I can’t recall these details now because the qualities of my beloved—her rare intelligence, her unique yet calm beauty, and the captivating and enchanting way she spoke in her soft, musical voice—crept into my heart so gradually that I barely noticed. Still, I believe I first saw her and spent the most time with her in some large, old, crumbling city near the Rhine. I’m sure I’ve heard her talk about her family. There’s no doubt it has ancient roots. Ligeia! Ligeia! Lost in studies that more than anything else numbed my perceptions of the outside world, it’s that sweet name—Ligeia—that brings to my mind the image of the woman who is gone. And now, as I write, a thought strikes me: I’ve never known the last name of the woman who was my friend and fiancée, who partnered with me in my studies and eventually became my beloved wife. Was it a playful challenge from Ligeia? Or a test of how deeply I cared for her that I should never ask about it? Or was it just my own whim—a wildly romantic gesture in the name of my passionate devotion? I only vaguely remember the fact itself—so it’s no surprise I’ve completely forgotten the details surrounding it. In fact, if ever there was a spirit known as Romance—if ever she, the pale, misty-winged Ashtophet of idolatrous Egypt, oversaw marriages doomed to misfortune, then she surely presided over mine.
There is one dear topic, however, on which my memory fails me not. It is the person of Ligeia. In stature she was tall, somewhat slender, and, in her latter days, even emaciated. I would in vain attempt to portray the majesty, the quiet ease of her demeanor, or the incomprehensible lightness and elasticity of her footfall. She came and departed as a shadow. I was never made aware of her entrance into my closed study, save by the dear music of her low sweet voice, as she placed her marble hand upon my shoulder. In beauty of face no maiden ever equaled her. It was the radiance of an opium-dream—an airy and spirit-lifting vision more wildly divine than the phantasies which hovered about the slumbering souls of the daughters of Delos. Yet her features were not of that regular mold which we have been falsely taught to worship in the classical labors of the heathen. "There is no exquisite beauty," says Bacon, Lord Verulam, speaking truly of all the forms and genera of beauty, "without some strangeness in the proportion." Yet, although I saw that the features of Ligeia were not of a classic regularity—although I perceived that her loveliness was indeed "exquisite," and felt that there was much of "strangeness" pervading it, yet I have tried in vain to detect the irregularity and to trace home my own perception of "the strange." I examined the contour of the lofty and pale forehead—it was faultless—how cold indeed that word when applied to a majesty so divine!—the skin rivaling the purest ivory, the commanding extent and repose, the gentle prominence of the regions above the temples; and then the raven-black, the glossy, the luxuriant, and naturally-curling tresses, setting forth the full force of the Homeric epithet, "hyacinthine!" I looked at the delicate outlines of the nose—and nowhere but in the graceful medallions of the Hebrews had I beheld a similar perfection. There were the same luxurious smoothness of surface, the same scarcely perceptible tendency to the aquiline, the same harmoniously curved nostrils speaking the free spirit. I regarded the sweet mouth. Here was indeed the triumph of all things heavenly—the magnificent turn of the short upper lip—the soft, voluptuous slumber of the under—the dimples which sported, and the color which spoke—the teeth glancing back, with a brilliancy almost startling, every ray of the holy light which fell upon them in her serene and placid yet most exultingly radiant of all smiles. I scrutinized the formation of the chin—and, here, too, I found the gentleness of breadth, the softness and the majesty, the fullness and the spirituality, of the Greek—the contour which the god Apollo revealed but in a dream, to Cleomenes, the son of the Athenian. And then I peered into the large eyes of Ligeia.
There's one cherished topic that I still remember clearly. It's about Ligeia. She was tall and somewhat slender, and in her later years, even a bit emaciated. I could never adequately describe the majesty and calmness of her presence or the mysterious lightness and grace of her footsteps. She entered and left like a shadow. I only knew she had come into my closed study when I heard the sweet music of her soft voice as she placed her marble hand on my shoulder. No maiden ever matched her beauty. It was like the brightness of an opium dream—an ethereal and uplifting vision more wildly divine than the fantasies that floated around the sleeping souls of Delos's daughters. However, her features didn’t fit the regular mold we’ve been wrongly taught to admire in classical art. "There is no exquisite beauty," says Francis Bacon, speaking truthfully about all forms and kinds of beauty, "without some strangeness in the proportion." Even though I recognized that Ligeia's features weren’t classically regular—though I could see her beauty was indeed "exquisite," and felt that it had a lot of "strangeness" in it—I still struggled to pinpoint that irregularity and understand my own perception of "the strange." I looked at the line of her tall, pale forehead—it was flawless—though calling it cold seems ridiculous when applied to such divine majesty! Her skin was as pure as the finest ivory, with a commanding presence and calmness, and the gentle rise of the areas above her temples; then there were her raven-black, glossy, wild, and naturally curling locks, embodying the full power of the Homeric term "hyacinthine!" I examined the delicate shape of her nose—no other place, except in the elegant medallions of the Hebrews, had I seen such perfection. The same luxurious smoothness of surface, the same barely noticeable tendency toward being aquiline, and the same beautifully curved nostrils that expressed her free spirit. I looked at her sweet mouth. Here was indeed the triumph of all heavenly attributes—the magnificent curve of her short upper lip, the soft, seductive rest of her lower lip, the dimples that played, and the color that spoke—the teeth reflecting back, with an almost startling brilliance, every ray of the holy light that fell upon them during her calm and serene yet most joyfully radiant smiles. I examined the shape of her chin—and once again, I found a gentle breadth, softness mixed with majesty, fullness intertwined with spirituality, the contour that the god Apollo revealed only in a dream to Cleomenes, the son of an Athenian. And then I gazed into Ligeia's large eyes.
For eyes we have no models in the remotely antique. It might have been, too, that in these eyes of my beloved lay the secret to which Lord Verulam alludes. They were, I must believe, far larger than the ordinary eyes of our own race. They were even fuller than the fullest of the gazelle eyes of the tribe of the valley of Nourjahad. Yet it was only at intervals—in moments of intense excitement—that this peculiarity became more than slightly noticeable in Ligeia. And at such moments was her beauty—in my heated fancy thus it appeared perhaps—the beauty of beings either above or apart from the earth—the beauty of the fabulous Houri of the Turk. The hue of the orbs was the most brilliant of black, and, far over them, hung jetty lashes of great length. The brows, slightly irregular in outline, had the same tint. The "strangeness," however, which I found in the eyes was of a nature distinct from the formation, or the color, or the brilliancy of the features, and must, after all, be referred to the expression. Ah, word of no meaning! behind whose vast latitude of mere sound we intrench our ignorance of so much of the spiritual. The expression of the eyes of Ligeia! How for long hours have I pondered upon it! How have I, through the whole of a midsummer night, struggled to fathom it! What was it—that something more profound than the well of Democritus—which lay far within the pupils of my beloved? What was it? I was possessed with a passion to discover. Those eyes! those large, those shining, those divine orbs! they became to me twin stars of Leda, and I to them devoutest of astrologers.
For eyes, we have no models from the distant past. It might also be that in the eyes of my beloved lies the secret that Lord Verulam hints at. I must believe they were much larger than the ordinary eyes of our kind. They were even more expressive than the fullest gazelle eyes from the valley of Nourjahad. Yet it was only at times—in moments of intense excitement—that this peculiarity became more than just slightly noticeable in Ligeia. And in those moments, her beauty—at least in my heated imagination—seemed to be that of beings either above or apart from the earth—the beauty of the mythical Houri of the Turk. The color of her irises was the most brilliant black, and above them hung long, jet-black lashes. The brows, slightly uneven in shape, had the same shade. However, the "strangeness" I found in her eyes came from something distinct, not from their shape, color, or brilliance, and must ultimately be attributed to the expression. Ah, that word is so vague! Behind its vast range of mere sound lies our ignorance of so much of the spiritual. The expression in Ligeia's eyes! How long have I pondered it! How have I spent an entire midsummer night trying to understand it! What was that something deeper than the well of Democritus that lay far within the pupils of my beloved? What was it? I was consumed with a passion to uncover it. Those eyes! Those large, shining, divine orbs! They became to me twin stars of Leda, with me as their most devoted astrologer.
There is no point, among the many incomprehensible anomalies of the science of mind, more thrillingly exciting than the fact—never, I believe, noticed in the schools—than in our endeavors to recall to memory something long forgotten, we often find ourselves upon the very verge of remembrance, without being able, in the end, to remember. And thus how frequently, in my intense scrutiny of Ligeia's eyes, have I felt approaching the full knowledge of their expression—felt it approaching—yet not quite be mine—and so at length entirely depart! And (strange, oh, strangest mystery of all!) I found, in the commonest objects of the universe, a circle of analogies to that expression. I mean to say that, subsequently to the period when Ligeia's beauty passed into my spirit, there dwelling as in a shrine, I derived, from many existences in the material world, a sentiment such as I felt always around, within me, by her large and luminous orbs. Yet not the more could I define that sentiment, or analyze, or even steadily view it. I recognized it, let me repeat, sometimes in the survey of a rapidly growing vine—in the contemplation of a moth, a butterfly, a chrysalis, a stream of running water. I have felt it in the ocean—in the falling of a meteor. I have felt it in the glances of unusually aged people. And there are one or two stars in heaven (one especially, a star of the sixth magnitude, double and changeable, to be found near the large star in Lyra) in a telescopic scrutiny of which I have been made aware of the feeling. I have been filled with it by certain sounds from stringed instruments, and not unfrequently by passages from books. Among innumerable other instances, I well remember something in a volume of Joseph Glanvill, which (perhaps merely from its quaintness—who shall say?) never failed to inspire me with the sentiment: "And the will therein lieth, which dieth not. Who knoweth the mysteries of the will, with its vigor? For God is but a great will pervading all things by nature of its intentness. Man doth not yield him to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will."
There’s nothing more exciting, among the countless puzzling mysteries of the mind, than the fact—something I don’t think anyone in school has ever pointed out—that when we try to bring to mind something we’ve long forgotten, we often find ourselves on the very edge of remembering, yet ultimately fail to do so. And so, how often, in my intense examination of Ligeia's eyes, have I felt I was close to fully understanding their expression—felt it coming closer—yet it never truly became mine—and eventually faded away completely! And (strangely, the strangest mystery of all!) I discovered, in the simplest objects around me, a circle of similarities to that expression. What I mean is that, after Ligeia's beauty became embedded in my spirit, residing there like a treasure, I felt a sensation similar to what I always experienced from her large, bright eyes in many things in the physical world. Yet I still couldn’t define that feeling, analyze it, or even clearly observe it. I recognized it, I’ll say again, sometimes when observing a rapidly growing vine—when contemplating a moth, a butterfly, a chrysalis, or a stream of flowing water. I’ve felt it in the ocean—in the fall of a meteor. I’ve sensed it in the gazes of unusually old people. And there are one or two stars in the sky (one especially, a star of the sixth magnitude, double and variable, located near the large star in Lyra) that have made me aware of that feeling during telescopic observations. Certain sounds from stringed instruments have filled me with it, and at times, passages from books have as well. Among countless other examples, I vividly remember something in a book by Joseph Glanvill, which (perhaps just due to its peculiarity—who's to say?) always inspired me with that feeling: "And the will therein lieth, which dieth not. Who knows the mysteries of the will, with its power? For God is but a great will pervading all things by the nature of its intensity. Man does not completely submit to the angels, nor to death, except through the weakness of his feeble will."
Length of years and subsequent reflection have enabled me to trace, indeed, some remote connection between this passage in the English moralist and a portion of the character of Ligeia. An intensity in thought, action, or speech was possibly, in her, a result, or at least an index, of that gigantic volition which, during our long intercourse, failed to give other and more immediate evidence of its existence. Of all the women whom I have ever known, she, the outwardly calm, the ever-placid Ligeia, was the most violently a prey to the tumultuous vultures of stern passion. And of such passion I could form no estimate, save by the miraculous expansion of those eyes which at once so delighted and appalled me,—by the almost magical melody, modulation, distinctness, and placidity of her very low voice,—and by the fierce energy (rendered doubly effective by contrast with her manner of utterance) of the wild words which she habitually uttered.
The number of years I've lived and the reflections I've had have allowed me to see some distant connection between this passage in the English moralist and part of Ligeia's character. An intensity in her thoughts, actions, or speech was likely a sign of that colossal willpower, which, during our long time together, never provided any other more obvious proof of its presence. Of all the women I've ever known, she—calm on the surface and always composed, Ligeia—was the one most deeply consumed by the chaotic vultures of intense passion. I could only gauge such passion by the extraordinary depth of her eyes that both fascinated and frightened me, by the almost magical quality of her very soft voice—its melody, modulation, clarity, and calmness—and by the fierce energy of the wild words she often spoke (which became even more impactful when contrasted with her way of speaking).
I have spoken of the learning of Ligeia: it was immense—such as I have never known in woman. In the classical tongues was she deeply proficient, and as far as my own acquaintance extended in regard to the modern dialects of Europe, I have never known her at fault. Indeed upon any theme of the most admired because simply the most abstruse of the boasted erudition of the Academy, have I ever found Ligeia at fault? How singularly—how thrillingly, this one point in the nature of my wife has forced itself, at this late period only, upon my attention! I said her knowledge was such as I have never known in woman—but where breathes the man who has traversed, and successfully, all the wide areas of moral, physical, and mathematical science? I saw not then what I now clearly perceive that the acquisitions of Ligeia were gigantic, were astounding; yet I was sufficiently aware of her infinite supremacy to resign myself, with a child-like confidence, to her guidance through the chaotic world of metaphysical investigation at which I was most busily occupied during the earlier years of our marriage. With how vast a triumph—with how vivid a delight—with how much of all that is ethereal in hope did I feel, as she bent over me in studies but little sought—but less known,—that delicious vista by slow degrees expanding before me, down whose long, gorgeous, and all untrodden path, I might at length pass onward to the goal of a wisdom too divinely precious not to be forbidden.
I've talked about Ligeia's knowledge: it was vast—like nothing I've ever seen in a woman. She was deeply skilled in classical languages, and as far as my own understanding goes regarding the modern languages of Europe, I’ve never seen her make a mistake. In fact, on any topic, even those highly esteemed for their complexity in the knowledge of the Academy, have I ever found Ligeia wrong? How uniquely—how excitingly, this one trait of my wife has struck me, only now, this late in life! I mentioned her knowledge was unlike anything I've known in a woman—but where is the man who has explored all the vast areas of moral, physical, and mathematical science successfully? Back then, I didn’t see what I now clearly recognize: Ligeia’s knowledge was immense and astonishing; yet I was aware enough of her incredible superiority to trust her, with a child-like faith, to lead me through the chaotic realm of metaphysical inquiry that I was engrossed in during the early years of our marriage. With how great a triumph—with how vibrant a joy—with so much of the ethereal in hope did I feel, as she leaned over me in studies that were rarely pursued—but even less understood,—that wonderful vista gradually unfolding before me, down that long, beautiful, and completely untraveled path, where I could eventually move toward a wisdom too divinely precious to be out of reach.
How poignant, then, must have been the grief with which, after some years, I beheld my well-grounded expectations take wings to themselves and fly away! Without Ligeia I was but as a child groping benighted. Her presence, her readings alone, rendered vividly luminous the many mysteries of the transcendentalism in which we were immersed. Wanting the radiant luster of her eyes, letters, lambent and golden, grew duller than Saturnian lead. And now those eyes shone less and less frequently upon the pages over which I pored. Ligeia grew ill. The wild eyes blazed with a too—too glorious effulgence; the pale fingers became of the transparent waxen hue of the grave; and the blue veins upon the lofty forehead swelled and sank impetuously with the tides of the most gentle emotion. I saw that she must die—and I struggled desperately in spirit with the grim Azrael. And the struggles of the passionate wife were, to my astonishment, even more energetic than my own. There had been much in her stern nature to impress me with the belief that, to her, death would have come without its terrors; but not so. Words are impotent to convey any just idea of the fierceness of resistance with which she wrestled with the Shadow. I groaned in anguish at the pitiable spectacle. I would have soothed—I would have reasoned; but in the intensity of her wild desire for life—for life—but for life—solace and reason were alike the uttermost of folly. Yet not until the last instance, amid the most convulsive writhings of her fierce spirit, was shaken the external placidity of her demeanor. Her voice grew more gentle—grew more low—yet I would not wish to dwell upon the wild meaning of the quietly uttered words. My brain reeled as I hearkened, entranced, to a melody more than mortal—to assumptions and aspirations which mortality had never before known.
How heartbreaking it must have been for me, after some years, to see my well-founded hopes take flight and disappear! Without Ligeia, I felt like a lost child in the dark. Her presence and her readings alone illuminated the many mysteries of the transcendental ideas we were immersed in. Without the brilliant glow of her eyes, the letters, once bright and golden, became duller than lead. And now those eyes shone less and less often on the pages I studied. Ligeia fell ill. Her wild eyes blazed with an overwhelming brightness; her pale fingers took on the transparent waxy color of death; and the blue veins on her high forehead surged and subsided with the lightest emotions. I realized she was going to die—and I fought desperately in spirit against the grim figure of death. To my surprise, her struggles were even more intense than my own. There had been much in her stern nature that led me to believe death would not terrify her; but I was wrong. Words cannot express the fierce resistance with which she battled against the Shadow. I groaned in anguish at the sad sight. I wanted to comfort her—I wanted to reason with her; but in her intense desire for life—just life—comfort and reasoning felt utterly foolish. Yet not until the very end, amidst the most convulsive struggles of her fierce spirit, did her outward calm waver. Her voice became softer—lower—but I wouldn't want to dwell on the wild meaning behind her quietly spoken words. My mind spun as I listened, captivated, to a melody beyond the mortal realm—to hopes and dreams that humanity had never known before.
That she loved me I should not have doubted; and I might have been easily aware that, in a bosom such as hers, love would have reigned no ordinary passion. But in death only was I fully impressed with the strength of her affection. For long hours, detaining my hand, would she pour out before me the overflowing of a heart whose more than passionate devotion amounted to idolatry. How had I deserved to be so blessed by such confessions?—how had I deserved to be so cursed with the removal of my beloved in the hour of my making them? But upon this subject I cannot bear to dilate. Let me say only, that in Ligeia's more than womanly abandonment to a love, alas! all unmerited, all unworthily bestowed, I at length, recognized the principle of her longing, with so wildly earnest a desire, for the life which was now fleeing so rapidly away. It is this wild longing—it is this eager vehemence of desire for life—but for life—that I have no power to portray—no utterance capable of expressing.
That she loved me, I should never have doubted; and I could have easily realized that, in a heart like hers, love would have been no ordinary feeling. But it was only in death that I truly grasped the depth of her affection. For long hours, holding my hand, she would share with me the overflowing of a heart whose devotion was more than just passion—it was like idolatry. How had I earned such blessings from her confessions?—how had I deserved to be so cursed with losing my beloved just as I was hearing them? But I can’t dwell on this. Let me just say that in Ligeia's profound and selfless love, so undeserved and unworthy on my part, I finally recognized the essence of her intense longing for the life that was slipping away so quickly. It is this wild longing—it is this desperate desire for life—but just for life—that I can’t express—I have no words to capture it.
At high noon of the night in which she departed, beckoning me, peremptorily, to her side, she bade me repeat certain verses composed by herself not many days before. I obeyed her. They were these:—
At midnight on the night she left, calling me insistently to her, she asked me to repeat some verses she had written just a few days earlier. I complied with her request. They were these:—
Lo! 'tis a gala night
Hey! It's a party night
Within the lonesome latter years!
In the lonely later years!
An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
A crowd of winged angels
In veils, and drowned in tears,
In veils, and overwhelmed with tears,
Sit in a theatre, to see
Sit in a theater, to see
A play of hopes and fears,
A mix of hopes and fears,
While the orchestra breathes fitfully
While the orchestra plays restlessly
The music of the spheres.
The harmony of the universe.
Mimes, in the form of God on high,
Mimes, as a representation of the divine,
Mutter and mumble low,
Mutter and mumble quietly,
And hither and thither fly;
And here and there fly;
Mere puppets they, who come and go
Mere puppets they are, who come and go.
At bidding of vast formless things
At the request of enormous, shapeless entities
That shift the scenery to and fro,
That moves the scenery back and forth,
Flapping from out their condor wings
Flapping their condor wings
Invisible Wo!
Invisible Wow!
That motley drama!—oh, be sure
That crazy drama!—oh, be sure
It shall not be forgot!
It won't be forgotten!
With its Phantom chased for evermore
With its Phantom chased forever
By a crowd that seize it not,
By a crowd that doesn't seize it,
Through a circle that ever returneth in
Through a circle that keeps coming back in
To the self-same spot;
To the same spot;
And much of Madness, and more of Sin
And a lot of madness, and even more sin
And Horror, the soul of the plot!
And horror, the heart of the story!
But see, amid the mimic rout,
But look, amidst the fake chaos,
A crawling shape intrude!
A crawling figure intrudes!
A blood-red thing that writhes from out
A blood-red thing that writhes from out
The scenic solitude!
The beautiful peace!
It writhes!—it writhes!—with mortal pangs
It writhes!—it writhes!—in agony
The mimes become its food,
The mimes become its meal,
And the seraphs sob at vermin fangs
And the seraphim weep at the fangs of vermin.
In human gore imbued.
In human blood immersed.
Out—out are the lights—out all:
Out—out go the lights—all:
And over each quivering form,
And over each trembling form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
The curtain, a mourning shroud,
Comes down with the rush of a storm—
Hits like a storm—
And the angels, all pallid and wan,
And the angels, all pale and lifeless,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
Rebellion, disclosure, confirm
That the play is the tragedy, "Man,"
That the play is the tragedy, "Man,"
And its hero, the conqueror Worm.
And its hero, the conqueror Worm.
"O God!" half shrieked Ligeia, leaping to her feet and extending her arms aloft with a spasmodic movement, as I made an end of these lines—"O God! O Divine Father!—shall these things be undeviatingly so?—shall this conqueror be not once conquered? Are we not part and parcel in Thee? Who—who knoweth the mysteries of the will with its vigor? Man doth not yield him to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will."
"O God!" half shrieked Ligeia, jumping to her feet and raising her arms above her head with a sudden movement as I finished these lines—"O God! O Divine Father!—will it always be this way?—will this conqueror never be defeated? Are we not all part of You? Who—who understands the mysteries of willpower and its strength? Man does not surrender to the angels, nor to death completely, except through the weakness of his frail will."
And now, as if exhausted with emotion, she suffered her white arms to fall, and returned solemnly to her bed of death. And as she breathed her last sighs, there came mingled with them a low murmur from her lips. I bent to them my ear, and distinguished, again, the concluding words of the passage in Glanvill: "Man doth not yield him to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will."
And now, as if she was drained from all the emotion, she let her white arms fall and solemnly returned to her deathbed. As she took her last breaths, a soft murmur escaped her lips. I leaned in to listen and caught the final words of the passage from Glanvill: "Man does not surrender to the angels or to death completely, except through the weakness of his frail will."
She died: and I, crushed into the very dust with sorrow, could no longer endure the lonely desolation of my dwelling in the dim and decaying city by the Rhine. I had no lack of what the world calls wealth. Ligeia had brought me far more, very far more, than ordinarily falls to the lot of mortals. After a few months, therefore, of weary and aimless wandering, I purchased and put in some repair, an abbey, which I shall not name, in one of the wildest and least frequented portions of fair England. The gloomy and dreary grandeur of the building, the almost savage aspect of the domain, the many melancholy and time-honored memories connected with both, had much in unison with the feelings of utter abandonment which had driven me into that remote and unsocial region of the country. Yet although the external abbey, with its verdant decay hanging about it, suffered but little alteration, I gave way, with a child-like perversity, and perchance with a faint hope of alleviating my sorrows, to a display of more than regal magnificence within. For such follies, even in childhood, I had imbibed a taste, and now they came back to me as if in the dotage of grief. Alas, I feel how much even of incipient madness might have been discovered in the gorgeous and fantastic draperies, in the solemn carvings of Egypt, in the wild cornices and furniture, in the Bedlam patterns of the carpets of tufted gold! I had become a bounden slave in the trammels of opium, and my labors and my orders had taken a coloring from my dreams. But these absurdities I must not pause to detail. Let me speak only of that one chamber, ever accursed, whither, in a moment of mental alienation, I led from the altar as my bride—as the successor of the unforgotten Ligeia—the fair-haired and blue-eyed Lady Rowena Trevanion, of Tremaine.
She died, and I, overwhelmed with sorrow, could no longer bear the lonely emptiness of my home in the dim and crumbling city by the Rhine. I had no shortage of what the world calls wealth. Ligeia had given me much more—far more—than what most people usually have. After a few months of tiring and aimless wandering, I bought and renovated an abbey, which I won't name, in one of the wildest and least visited parts of beautiful England. The gloomy and dreary grandeur of the building, the almost savage look of the land, and the many sad and ancient memories associated with both resonated with the feelings of total abandonment that had driven me to that remote and unfriendly area. However, while the exterior of the abbey, surrounded by its lush decay, changed very little, I indulged, with a child-like stubbornness and perhaps with a faint hope of easing my pain, in an extravagant display of more than royal magnificence inside. I had developed a taste for such whims even in childhood, and now they returned to me as if in the haze of grief. Alas, I realize how much even hints of insanity could be found in the gorgeous and fantastical draperies, the solemn Egyptian carvings, the wild cornices and furniture, and the chaotic designs of the carpets woven with gold! I had become a bound slave to the chains of opium, and my efforts and commands had taken on the hues of my dreams. But I won't dwell on those absurdities. Let me speak only of that one chamber, forever cursed, where, in a moment of mental disarray, I led from the altar as my bride—my successor to the unforgettable Ligeia—the fair-haired and blue-eyed Lady Rowena Trevanion, of Tremaine.
There is no individual portion of the architecture and decoration of that bridal chamber which is not visibly before me. Where were the souls of the haughty family of the bride, when, through thirst of gold, they permitted to pass the threshold of an apartment so bedecked, a maiden and a daughter so beloved? I have said, that I minutely remember the details of the chamber—yet I am sadly forgetful on topics of deep moment; and here there was no system, no keeping, in the fantastic display to take hold upon the memory. The room lay in a high turret of the castellated abbey, was pentagonal in shape, and of capacious size. Occupying the whole southern face of the pentagonal was the sole window—an immense sheet of unbroken glass from Venice—a single pane, and tinted of a leaden hue, so that the rays of either the sun or moon passing through it, fell with a ghastly luster on the objects within. Over the upper portion of this huge window extended the trellis-work of an aged vine, which clambered up the massy walls of the turret. The ceiling, of gloomy-looking oak, was excessively lofty, vaulted, and elaborately fretted with the wildest and most grotesque specimens of a semi-Gothic, semi-Druidical device. From out the most central recess of this melancholy vaulting, depended, by a single chain of gold with long links, a huge censer of the same metal, Saracenic in pattern, and with many perforations so contrived that there writhed in and out of them, as if endued with a serpent vitality, a continual succession of parti-colored fires.
I can clearly picture every part of the architecture and decoration of that bridal chamber. Where were the proud family of the bride when, driven by their greed, they allowed a maiden and a beloved daughter to enter such an ornately adorned room? I've said I remember the details of the chamber well—yet I struggle to recall things of great importance; and here there was no discernible order or consistency in the strange display that made it memorable. The room was located in a high turret of the castle-like abbey, pentagonal in shape and quite spacious. The entire southern side of the pentagon featured a single massive window—an enormous sheet of unbroken glass from Venice—a single pane tinted with a leaden hue, so that both sunlight and moonlight passing through it cast a ghastly glow on everything inside. Over the top of this large window, an old vine trellis spread across the thick walls of the turret. The ceiling, made of dark oak, was extremely high, vaulted, and intricately carved with wild and grotesque patterns that blended semi-Gothic and semi-Druidical styles. From the center of this gloomy vault hung a large censer made of gold, designed in a Saracenic style, with many openings that seemed to writhe with a snake-like vitality, letting a continuous stream of colorful flames weave in and out of them.
Some few ottomans and golden candelabra, of Eastern figure, were in various stations about; and there was the couch, too—the bridal couch—of an Indian model, and low, and sculptured of solid ebony, with a pall-like canopy above. In each of the angles of the chamber stood on end a gigantic sarcophagus of black granite, from the tombs of the kings over against Luxor, with their aged lids full of immemorial sculpture. But in the draping of the apartment lay, alas! the chief phantasy of all. The lofty walls, gigantic in height—even unproportionably so—were hung from summit to foot, in vast folds, with a heavy and massive-looking tapestry—tapestry of a material which was found alike as a carpet on the floor, as a covering for the ottomans and the ebony bed, as a canopy for the bed, and as the gorgeous volutes of the curtains which partially shaded the window. The material was the richest cloth of gold. It was spotted all over, at irregular intervals, with arabesque figures, about a foot in diameter, and wrought upon the cloth in patterns of the most jetty black. But these figures partook of the true character of the arabesque only when regarded from a single point of view. By a contrivance now common, and indeed traceable to a very remote period of antiquity, they were made changeable in aspect. To one entering the room, they bore the appearance of simple monstrosities; but upon a farther advance, this appearance gradually departed; and, step by step, as the visitor moved his station in the chamber, he saw himself surrounded by an endless succession of the ghastly forms which belong to the superstition of the Norman, or arise in the guilty slumbers of the monk. The phantasmagoric effect was vastly heightened by the artificial introduction of a strong continual current of wind behind the draperies—giving a hideous and uneasy animation to the whole.
A few ottomans and golden candelabra, styled in an Eastern design, were scattered around the room; and there was also the bridal couch—low, Indian-style, crafted from solid ebony, with a heavy canopy above. In each corner of the room stood a massive sarcophagus made of black granite, taken from the tombs of the kings near Luxor, their ancient lids covered in timeless carvings. But the real spectacle of the room lay in its drapery. The tall walls, exceptionally high to the point of being overwhelming, were draped from top to bottom in thick, heavy tapestry—made from the same material used as the carpet on the floor, the coverings for the ottomans and the ebony bed, a canopy over the bed, and the extravagant folds of the curtains partially shading the window. This material was the richest gold fabric. It was dappled all over with arabesque designs about a foot in diameter, intricately woven in deep black patterns. However, these designs only revealed their true arabesque character when viewed from a specific angle. By a technique that has been common for ages, dating back to ancient times, they appeared to change depending on one's perspective. To someone entering the room, they seemed like bizarre shapes; but as one moved further in, that impression gradually faded away. Step by step, as the visitor changed positions in the room, they found themselves surrounded by an endless array of eerie forms associated with Norman superstition or arising in the guilty dreams of a monk. The otherworldly effect was greatly intensified by the deliberate introduction of a strong, steady wind behind the draperies—giving an unsettling and eerie movement to the entire scene.
In halls such as these—in a bridal chamber such as this—I passed, with the Lady of Tremaine, the unhallowed hours of the first month of our marriage—passed them with but little disquietude. That my wife dreaded the fierce moodiness of my temper—that she shunned me, and loved me but little—I could not help perceiving; but it gave me rather pleasure than otherwise. I loathed her with a hatred belonging more to demon than to man. My memory flew back (oh, with what intensity of regret!) to Ligeia, the beloved, the august, the beautiful, the entombed. I reveled in recollections of her purity, of her wisdom, of her lofty—her ethereal nature, of her passionate, her idolatrous love. Now, then, did my spirit fully and freely burn with more than all the fires of her own. In the excitement of my opium dreams (for I was habitually fettered in the shackles of the drug), I would call aloud upon her name, during the silence of the night, or among the sheltered recesses of the glens by day, as if, through the wild eagerness, the solemn passion, the consuming ardor of my longing for the departed, I could restore her to the pathways she had abandoned—ah, could it be forever?—upon the earth.
In rooms like this—in a bridal suite like this—I spent, with the Lady of Tremaine, the uneasy hours of our first month of marriage—spending them with little distress. I could tell that my wife feared the intense moodiness of my temper—that she avoided me and cared for me only a little—but it pleased me more than upset me. I hated her with a rage more like that of a demon than a man. My thoughts drifted back (oh, with what intense regret!) to Ligeia, the one I loved, the one who was grand, beautiful, and now entombed. I indulged in memories of her purity, her wisdom, her elevated—her ethereal nature, and her passionate, idolizing love. In those moments, my spirit burned with more than all the fires of her own. In the thrill of my opium dreams (since I was constantly chained by the drug), I would call out her name, during the quiet of the night or in the hidden corners of the valleys by day, as if, through the wild eagerness, the deep passion, the consuming desire for the one who was gone, I could bring her back to the paths she had left—ah, could it be forever?—on this earth.
About the commencement of the second month of the marriage, the Lady Rowena was attacked with sudden illness, from which her recovery was slow. The fever which consumed her rendered her nights uneasy; and in her perturbed state of half-slumber, she spoke of sounds, and of motions, in and about the chamber of the turret, which I concluded had no origin save in the distemper of her fancy, or perhaps in the phantasmagoric influences of the chamber itself. She became at length convalescent—finally, well. Yet but a second more violent disorder again threw her upon a bed of suffering; and from this attack her frame, at all times feeble, never altogether recovered. Her illnesses were, after this epoch, of alarming character, and of more alarming recurrence, defying alike the knowledge and the great exertions of her physicians. With the increase of the chronic disease, which had thus, apparently, taken too sure hold upon her constitution to be eradicated by human means, I could not fail to observe a similar increase in the nervous irritation of her temperament, and in her excitability by trivial causes of fear. She spoke again, and now more frequently and pertinaciously, of the sounds—of the slight sounds—and of the unusual motions among the tapestries, to which she had formerly alluded.
Around the beginning of the second month of their marriage, Lady Rowena suddenly fell ill, and her recovery was slow. The fever that consumed her made her nights restless, and in her disturbed half-sleep state, she talked about sounds and movements in and around the turret room, which I assumed had no origin other than the turmoil of her imagination, or perhaps the eerie atmosphere of the room itself. Eventually, she started to get better—she was finally well. But soon after, a more severe illness struck again, leaving her in pain; and after this episode, her already frail body never fully bounced back. Her illnesses, from then on, were alarming in nature and frequently occurred, defying the understanding and efforts of her doctors. As her chronic condition seemed to take hold of her body beyond the reach of medical help, I couldn’t help but notice an increase in her nervousness and sensitivity to small fears. She began to speak again, now more often and insistently, about the sounds—the faint sounds—and unusual movements among the tapestries that she had mentioned before.
One night, near the closing in of September, she pressed this distressing subject with more than usual emphasis upon my attention. She had just awakened from an unquiet slumber, and I had been watching, with feelings half of anxiety, half of vague terror, the workings of her emaciated countenance. I sat by the side of her ebony bed, upon one of the ottomans of India. She partly arose, and spoke, in an earnest low whisper, of sounds which she then heard, but which I could not hear—of motions which she then saw, but which I could not perceive. The wind was rushing hurriedly behind the tapestries, and I wished to show her (what, let me confess it, I could not all believe) that those almost inarticulate breathings, and those very gentle variations of the figures upon the wall, were but the natural effects of that customary rushing of the wind. But a deadly pallor, overspreading her face, had proved to me that my exertions to reassure her would be fruitless. She appeared to be fainting, and no attendants were within call. I remembered where was deposited a decanter of light wine which had been ordered by her physicians, and hastened across the chamber to procure it. But, as I stepped beneath the light of the censer, two circumstances of a startling nature attracted my attention. I had felt that some palpable although invisible object had passed lightly by my person; and I saw that there lay upon the golden carpet, in the very middle of the rich luster thrown from the censer, a shadow—a faint, indefinite shadow of angelic aspect—such as might be fancied for the shadow of a shade. But I was wild with the excitement of an immoderate dose of opium, and heeded these things but little, nor spoke of them to Rowena. Having found the wine, I recrossed the chamber, and poured out a gobletful, which I held to the lips of the fainting lady. She had now partially recovered, however, and took the vessel herself, while I sank upon an ottoman near me, with my eyes fastened upon her person. It was then that I became distinctly aware of a gentle footfall upon the carpet, and near the couch; and in a second thereafter, as Rowena was in the act of raising the wine to her lips, I saw, or may have dreamed that I saw, fall within the goblet, as if from some invisible spring in the atmosphere of the room, three or four large drops of a brilliant and ruby colored fluid. If this I saw—not so Rowena. She swallowed the wine unhesitatingly, and I forebore to speak to her of a circumstance which must, after all, I considered, have been but the suggestion of a vivid imagination, rendered morbidly active by the terror of the lady, by the opium, and by the hour.
One night, toward the end of September, she pressed this disturbing topic on me with more intensity than usual. She had just woken from a troubled sleep, and I had been watching, with a mix of anxiety and vague fear, the signs on her gaunt face. I sat beside her dark bed, on one of the Indian ottomans. She partially sat up and spoke in a low, urgent whisper about sounds that she could hear but I couldn’t—about movements she could see but I couldn’t sense. The wind was rushing behind the curtains, and I wanted to convince her (though I must admit I couldn't fully believe it myself) that those faint, almost inaudible breathings and subtle changes in the figures on the wall were just normal effects of the wind blowing. But the deadly pallor spreading across her face made it clear that my attempts to reassure her would be futile. She looked like she was about to faint, and there were no attendants nearby. I remembered a decanter of light wine that her doctors had prescribed and rushed across the room to get it. However, as I stepped into the light of the censer, two shocking things caught my attention. I felt some tangible yet invisible object brush past me, and I saw a shadow—faint and undefined, with a somewhat angelic quality—lying on the golden carpet, right in the center of the rich glow from the censer, almost like the shadow of a ghost. But I was overwhelmed by the intense effects of an excessive dose of opium, and I paid little attention to these things and didn’t mention them to Rowena. After finding the wine, I crossed the room again and poured a glass, which I held to the lips of the fainting lady. By this point, she had partially recovered and took the glass herself, while I sank onto an ottoman nearby, my eyes fixed on her. That’s when I distinctly noticed a gentle footstep on the carpet, close to the couch; and just then, as Rowena was lifting the wine to her lips, I saw—or might have dreamed I saw—three or four large drops of brilliant, ruby-colored liquid fall into the glass, as if from an invisible source in the room’s atmosphere. If I saw this, Rowena did not. She drank the wine without hesitation, and I chose not to mention the incident to her, considering that it must have been a product of a vivid imagination, morbidly heightened by her fear, the opium, and the late hour.
Yet I cannot conceal it from my own perception that, immediately subsequent to the fall of the ruby drops, a rapid change for the worse took place in the disorder of my wife; so that, on the third subsequent night, the hands of her menials prepared her for the tomb, and on the fourth, I sat alone, with her shrouded body, in that fantastic chamber which had received her as my bride. Wild visions, opium-engendered, flitted, shadow-like, before me. I gazed with unquiet eye upon the sarcophagi in the angles of the room, upon the varying figures of the drapery, and upon the writhing of the parti-colored fires in the censer overhead. My eyes then fell, as I called to mind the circumstances of a former night, to the spot beneath the glare of the censer where I had seen the faint traces of the shadow. It was there, however, no longer; and breathing with greater freedom, I turned my glances to the pallid and rigid figure upon the bed. Then rushed upon me a thousand memories of Ligeia—and then came back upon my heart, with the turbulent violence of a flood, the whole of that unutterable woe with which I had regarded her thus enshrouded. The night waned; and still, with a bosom full of bitter thoughts of the one only and supremely beloved, I remained gazing upon the body of Rowena.
Yet I can’t hide from myself that right after the ruby drops fell, my wife's condition took a swift turn for the worse. By the third night after that, her staff was preparing her for the grave, and on the fourth night, I was alone with her covered body in that strange room where I had welcomed her as my wife. Wild, drug-induced visions flitted like shadows before me. I stared uneasily at the sarcophagi in the corners of the room, the shifting shapes of the drapery, and the flickering, colorful lights from the censer above. My gaze then dropped to the spot under the censer's light where I had once seen the faint traces of a shadow. It wasn’t there anymore; breathing easier, I shifted my focus to the pale and stiff figure on the bed. Suddenly, a flood of memories of Ligeia came rushing back to me, overwhelming my heart with a deep sorrow as I looked upon her like this, enshrouded. The night passed on; still, my mind was filled with bitter thoughts of my one true love as I stared at Rowena’s body.
It might have been midnight, or perhaps earlier, or later, for I had taken no note of time, when a sob, low, gentle, but very distinct, startled me from my revery. I felt that it came from the bed of ebony—the bed of death. I listened in an agony of superstitious terror—but there was no repetition of the sound. I strained my vision to detect any motion in the corpse—but there was not the slightest perceptible. Yet I could not have been deceived. I had heard the noise, however faint, and my soul was awakened within me. I resolutely and perseveringly kept my attention riveted upon the body. Many minutes elapsed before any circumstance occurred tending to throw light upon the mystery. At length it became evident that a slight, a very feeble, and barely noticeable tinge of color had flushed up within the cheeks, and along the sunken small veins of the eyelids. Through a species of unutterable horror and awe, for which the language of mortality has no sufficiently energetic expression, I felt my heart cease to beat, my limbs grow rigid where I sat. Yet a sense of duty finally operated to restore my self-possession. I could no longer doubt that we had been precipitate in our preparations—that Rowena still lived. It was necessary that some immediate exertion be made; yet the turret was altogether apart from the portion of the abbey tenanted by the servants—there were none within call—I had no means of summoning them to my aid without leaving the room for many minutes—and this I could not venture to do. I therefore struggled alone in my endeavors to call back the spirit still hovering. In a short period it was certain, however, that a relapse had taken place; the color disappeared from both eyelid and cheek, leaving a wanness even more than that of marble; the lips became doubly shriveled and pinched up in the ghastly expression of death; a repulsive clamminess and coldness overspread rapidly the surface of the body; and all the usual rigorous stiffness immediately supervened. I fell back with a shudder upon the couch from which I had been so startlingly aroused, and again gave myself up to passionate waking visions of Ligeia.
It might have been midnight, or maybe earlier or later, since I hadn’t been paying attention to the time, when a soft, gentle sob, very distinct, jolted me from my daydream. I sensed that it came from the ebony bed—the bed of death. I listened in a panic of superstitious fear—but there was no repeat of the sound. I strained to see any movement in the corpse—but there wasn't the slightest indication. Yet I couldn’t have been mistaken. I had heard the noise, no matter how faint, and it stirred something deep within me. I stubbornly focused my attention on the body. Many minutes passed before anything happened that could shed light on the mystery. Finally, it became clear that a slight, very faint, barely noticeable hint of color had appeared in the cheeks and along the sunken small veins of the eyelids. Through a kind of indescribable horror and awe, for which there are no strong enough words in human language, I felt my heart stop beating, my limbs grow stiff where I sat. But a sense of duty ultimately helped me regain my composure. I could no longer doubt that we had rushed our preparations—that Rowena was still alive. It was necessary to take some immediate action; however, the turret was completely separate from the part of the abbey where the servants stayed—there were none within reach—I had no way to summon them without leaving the room for several minutes—and I couldn’t risk doing that. So, I struggled alone to call back the spirit that was still lingering. Soon, however, it was clear that a relapse had occurred; the color faded from both the eyelid and cheek, leaving an even paler appearance than marble; the lips shriveled even more and tightened in the ghastly expression of death; a repulsive clamminess and coldness quickly spread over the surface of the body; and all the usual rigor mortis set in immediately. I fell back with a shudder onto the couch from which I had been so startlingly awoken, and once again surrendered to passionate waking visions of Ligeia.
An hour thus elapsed, when (could it be possible?) I was a second time aware of some vague sound issuing from the region of the bed. I listened—in extremity of horror. The sound came again—it was a sigh. Rushing to the corpse, I saw—distinctly saw—a tremor upon the lips. In a minute afterward they relaxed, disclosing a bright line of the pearly teeth. Amazement now struggled in my bosom with the profound awe which had hitherto reigned there alone. I felt that my vision grew dim, that my reason wandered; and it was only by a violent effort that I at length succeeded in nerving myself to the task which duty thus once more had pointed out. There was now a partial glow upon the forehead and upon the cheek and throat; a perceptible warmth pervaded the whole frame; there was even a slight pulsation at the heart. The lady lived; and with redoubled ardor I betook myself to the task of restoration. I chafed and bathed the temples and the hands and used every exertion which experience, and no little medical reading, could suggest. But in vain. Suddenly, the color fled, the pulsation ceased, the lips resumed the expression of the dead, and, in an instant afterward, the whole body took upon itself the icy chilliness, the livid hue, the intense rigidity, the sunken outline, and all the loathsome peculiarities of that which has been, for many days, a tenant of the tomb.
An hour went by when, could it be possible, I suddenly became aware of some vague sound coming from the area of the bed. I listened in sheer horror. The sound came again—it was a sigh. I rushed to the corpse and distinctly saw a tremor on the lips. A minute later, they relaxed, revealing a bright line of pearly teeth. Amazement battled with the deep awe that had, until then, filled me completely. I felt my vision dim and my mind wander; it took a strong effort for me to finally gather the courage to do what duty had once more pointed out. There was now a faint glow on the forehead, cheeks, and throat; a noticeable warmth spread through the entire body; there was even a slight pulse at the heart. The lady lived; and with renewed determination, I set to work on bringing her back. I rubbed and bathed her temples and hands and used every method my experience and a bit of medical knowledge could suggest. But it was all in vain. Suddenly, the color drained away, the pulse stopped, the lips returned to that of the dead, and an instant later, the whole body felt icy cold, took on a pale hue, became intensely rigid, had a sunken shape, and exhibited all the dreadful traits of something that has been, for many days, a resident of the grave.
And again I sunk into visions of Ligeia—and again (what marvel that I shudder while I write?), again there reached my ears a low sob from the region of the ebony bed. But why shall I minutely detail the unspeakable horrors of that night? Why shall I pause to relate how, time after time, until near the period of the gray dawn, this hideous drama of revivification was repeated; how each terrific relapse was only into a sterner and apparently more irredeemable death; how each agony wore the aspect of a struggle with some invisible foe; and how each struggle was succeeded by I know not what of wild change in the personal appearance of the corpse? Let me hurry to a conclusion.
And once again, I fell into thoughts of Ligeia—and once again (is it any wonder I shudder as I write?), again I heard a faint sob from the area of the dark bed. But why should I go into detail about the unimaginable horrors of that night? Why should I stop to share how, time after time, until just before dawn, this terrifying cycle of revival repeated itself; how each horrific episode led only to a more severe and seemingly irreversible death; how each agony resembled a fight against some unseen enemy; and how every struggle was followed by I don’t know what of wild changes in the corpse's appearance? Let me rush to an ending.
The greater part of the fearful night had worn away, and she who had been dead once again stirred—and now more vigorously than hitherto, although arousing from a dissolution more appalling in its utter hopelessness than any. I had long ceased to struggle or to move, and remained sitting rigidly upon the ottoman, a helpless prey to a whirl of violent emotions, of which extreme awe was perhaps the least terrible, the least consuming. The corpse, I repeat, stirred, and now more vigorously than before. The hues of life flushed up with unwonted energy into the countenance—the limbs relaxed—and, save that the eyelids were yet pressed heavily together, and that the bandages and draperies of the grave still imparted their charnel character to the figure, I might have dreamed that Rowena had indeed shaken off, utterly, the fetters of Death. But if this idea was not, even then, altogether adopted, I could at least doubt no longer, when, arising from the bed, tottering, with feeble steps, with closed eyes, and with the manner of one bewildered in a dream, the thing that was enshrouded advanced boldly and palpably into the middle of the apartment.
Most of the terrifying night was gone, and she who had once been dead stirred again—and now more vigorously than before, even though she was emerging from a state more horrifying in its complete hopelessness than anything else. I had long stopped struggling or moving, sitting rigidly on the ottoman, completely overwhelmed by a whirlwind of intense emotions, of which extreme awe was perhaps the least frightening, the least consuming. The corpse, I say again, stirred, and now even more vigorously than earlier. The colors of life flushed back into her face with unexpected energy—the limbs relaxed—and except for the fact that her eyelids were still pressed tightly shut, and the wrappings and garments of the grave still gave her figure a deathly aura, I could have believed that Rowena had truly shaken off the chains of Death. But even if I wasn't fully convinced of that idea, I could no longer doubt when she rose from the bed, staggering with weak steps, eyes closed, and moving like someone lost in a dream, the figure that was shrouded stepped boldly and visibly into the middle of the room.
I trembled not—I stirred not—for a crowd of unutterable fancies connected with the air, the stature, the demeanor, of the figure, rushing hurriedly through my brain, had paralyzed—had chilled me into stone. I stirred not—but gazed upon the apparition. There was a mad disorder in my thoughts—a tumult unappeasable. Could it, indeed, be the living Rowena who confronted me? Could it, indeed, be Rowena at all—the fair-haired, the blue-eyed Lady Rowena Trevanion of Tremaine? Why, why should I doubt it? The bandage lay heavily about the mouth—but then might it not be the mouth of the breathing Lady of Tremaine? And the cheeks—there were the roses as in her noon of life—yes, these might indeed be the fair cheeks of the living Lady of Tremaine. And the chin, with its dimples, as in health, might it not be hers?—but had she then grown taller since her malady? What inexpressible madness seized me with that thought? One bound, and I had reached her feet! Shrinking from my touch, she let fall from her head, unloosened, the ghastly cerements which had confined it, and there streamed forth into the rushing atmosphere of the chamber huge masses of long and disheveled hair; it was blacker than the raven wings of midnight. And now slowly opened the eyes of the figure which stood before me. "Here then, at least," I shrieked aloud, "can I never—can I never be mistaken—these are the full, and the black, and the wild eyes—of my lost love—of the Lady—of the LADY LIGEIA."
I didn't move—I was frozen—because a flood of unspeakable thoughts connected to the presence, size, and behavior of the figure rushed through my mind, paralyzing me—turning me into stone. I didn't move but just stared at the apparition. My thoughts were in chaos—a tumult that wouldn't quiet down. Could it really be the living Rowena standing in front of me? Could it really be Rowena at all—the fair-haired, blue-eyed Lady Rowena Trevanion of Tremaine? Why, why should I doubt it? The bandage was tightly wrapped around her mouth—but could it not be the mouth of the living Lady of Tremaine? And her cheeks—there were the roses from her prime—yes, these could indeed be the cheeks of the living Lady of Tremaine. And the chin, with its dimples like when she was healthy, could it not be hers?—but had she really grown taller since her illness? What indescribable madness seized me with that thought? In one leap, I was at her feet! Pulling away from my touch, she let fall the ghastly wrappings that had confined her head, and massive strands of long, unkempt hair streamed into the air of the room; it was blacker than the raven wings of midnight. And now, the figure that stood before me slowly opened its eyes. "Here then, at least," I screamed, "I can never—can I never be mistaken—these are the full, dark, wild eyes—of my lost love—of the Lady—of the LADY LIGEIA."
The Haunted Orchard
By RICHARD LE GALLIENNEBy RICHARD LE GALLIENNE
From Harper's Magazine, January, 1912. By permission of Harper and Brothers and Richard Le Gallienne.
From Harper's Magazine, January, 1912. By permission of Harper and Brothers and Richard Le Gallienne.
Spring was once more in the world. As she sang to herself in the faraway woodlands her voice reached even the ears of the city, weary with the long winter. Daffodils flowered at the entrances to the Subway, furniture removing vans blocked the side streets, children clustered like blossoms on the doorsteps, the open cars were running, and the cry of the "cash clo'" man was once more heard in the land.
Spring was here again. As she sang to herself in the distant woods, her voice could even be heard in the tired city, recovering from the long winter. Daffodils bloomed at the entrances to the Subway, moving vans blocked the side streets, children gathered like flowers on the doorsteps, open cars were driving around, and the shout of the "cash clothes" man was heard once more throughout the land.
Yes, it was the spring, and the city dreamed wistfully of lilacs and the dewy piping of birds in gnarled old apple-trees, of dogwood lighting up with sudden silver the thickening woods, of water-plants unfolding their glossy scrolls in pools of morning freshness.
Yes, it was spring, and the city longed for lilacs and the fresh sounds of birds in twisted old apple trees, for dogwood suddenly shining with silver in the thickening woods, for water plants unfolding their shiny leaves in pools of morning freshness.
On Sunday mornings, the outbound trains were thronged with eager pilgrims, hastening out of the city, to behold once more the ancient marvel of the spring; and, on Sunday evenings, the railway termini were aflower with banners of blossom from rifled woodland and orchard carried in the hands of the returning pilgrims, whose eyes still shone with the spring magic, in whose ears still sang the fairy music.
On Sunday mornings, the outbound trains were packed with eager travelers rushing out of the city to see the ancient wonder of spring once again. On Sunday evenings, the train stations were filled with colorful flowers from the picked woods and orchards held by those returning, whose eyes still sparkled with the magic of spring, and whose ears still resonated with the enchanting melodies.
And as I beheld these signs of the vernal equinox I knew that I, too, must follow the music, forsake awhile the beautiful siren we call the city, and in the green silences meet once more my sweetheart Solitude.
And as I looked at these signs of the spring equinox, I knew that I had to follow the music, leave behind the beautiful siren we call the city for a while, and in the green quiets, meet once again my dear Solitude.
As the train drew out of the Grand Central, I hummed to myself,
As the train pulled away from Grand Central, I hummed to myself,
"I've a neater, sweeter maiden, in a greener, cleaner land"
"I have a tidier, sweeter girl in a greener, cleaner place."
and so I said good-by to the city, and went forth with beating heart to meet the spring.
and so I said goodbye to the city, and left with a racing heart to embrace the spring.
I had been told of an almost forgotten corner on the south coast of Connecticut, where the spring and I could live in an inviolate loneliness—a place uninhabited save by birds and blossoms, woods and thick grass, and an occasional silent farmer, and pervaded by the breath and shimmer of the Sound.
I had heard about a nearly forgotten spot on the southern coast of Connecticut, where spring and I could live in untouched solitude—a place inhabited only by birds and flowers, woods and tall grass, and an occasional quiet farmer, filled with the scent and sparkle of the Sound.
Nor had rumor lied, for when the train set me down at my destination I stepped out into the most wonderful green hush, a leafy Sabbath silence through which the very train, as it went farther on its way, seemed to steal as noiselessly as possible for fear of breaking the spell.
Nor had the rumors been wrong, for when the train dropped me off at my destination, I stepped into the most amazing quietude, a leafy, peaceful silence through which the train, as it continued on its journey, seemed to move as quietly as possible, almost afraid of breaking the spell.
After a winter in the town, to be dropped thus suddenly into the intense quiet of the country-side makes an almost ghostly impression upon one, as of an enchanted silence, a silence that listens and watches but never speaks, finger on lip. There is a spectral quality about everything upon which the eye falls: the woods, like great green clouds, the wayside flowers, the still farm-houses half lost in orchard bloom—all seem to exist in a dream. Everything is so still, everything so supernaturally green. Nothing moves or talks, except the gentle susurrus of the spring wind swaying the young buds high up in the quiet sky, or a bird now and again, or a little brook singing softly to itself among the crowding rushes.
After spending a winter in town, being suddenly dropped into the deep quiet of the countryside feels almost ghostly, like an enchanted silence that listens and watches but never speaks, with a finger pressed to its lips. Everything your eyes land on has an otherworldly quality: the woods, resembling huge green clouds, the wildflowers by the roadside, the peaceful farmhouses half-hidden in orchard blossoms—all seem to exist in a dream. Everything is so quiet, everything so unbelievably green. Nothing moves or makes noise, except for the gentle rustle of the spring wind swaying the young buds high up in the serene sky, an occasional bird, or a little brook softly singing to itself among the thick rushes.
Though, from the houses one notes here and there, there are evidently human inhabitants of this green silence, none are to be seen. I have often wondered where the countryfolk hide themselves, as I have walked hour after hour, past farm and croft and lonely door-yards, and never caught sight of a human face. If you should want to ask the way, a farmer is as shy as a squirrel, and if you knock at a farm-house door, all is as silent as a rabbit-warren.
Though you can tell from the houses scattered around that there are definitely people living in this peaceful green area, none of them can be seen. I've often wondered where the locals go as I walk for hours past farms, fields, and empty doorsteps without seeing a single person. If you want to ask for directions, a farmer is as shy as a squirrel, and if you knock on a farmhouse door, it's as quiet as a rabbit warren.
As I walked along in the enchanted stillness, I came at length to a quaint old farm-house—"old Colonial" in its architecture—embowered in white lilacs, and surrounded by an orchard of ancient apple-trees which cast a rich shade on the deep spring grass. The orchard had the impressiveness of those old religious groves, dedicated to the strange worship of sylvan gods, gods to be found now only in Horace or Catullus, and in the hearts of young poets to whom the beautiful antique Latin is still dear.
As I strolled through the magical quiet, I eventually came upon a charming old farmhouse—"old Colonial" in style—nestled among white lilacs and surrounded by an orchard of ancient apple trees that provided a deep shade on the lush spring grass. The orchard felt like those old sacred groves, dedicated to the mysterious worship of forest gods, gods that now exist only in the works of Horace or Catullus, and in the hearts of young poets who still cherish the beautiful classical Latin.
The old house seemed already the abode of Solitude. As I lifted the latch of the white gate and walked across the forgotten grass, and up on to the veranda already festooned with wistaria, and looked into the window, I saw Solitude sitting by an old piano, on which no composer later than Bach had ever been played.
The old house felt like a home for loneliness. As I lifted the latch on the white gate and walked across the overgrown grass, up to the porch already draped with wisteria, I looked in the window and saw Loneliness sitting by an old piano, on which no composer later than Bach had ever been played.
In other words, the house was empty; and going round to the back, where old barns and stables leaned together as if falling asleep, I found a broken pane, and so climbed in and walked through the echoing rooms. The house was very lonely. Evidently no one had lived in it for a long time. Yet it was all ready for some occupant, for whom it seemed to be waiting. Quaint old four-poster bedsteads stood in three rooms—dimity curtains and spotless linen—old oak chests and mahogany presses; and, opening drawers in Chippendale sideboards, I came upon beautiful frail old silver and exquisite china that set me thinking of a beautiful grandmother of mine, made out of old lace and laughing wrinkles and mischievous old blue eyes.
In other words, the house was empty. I went around to the back, where old barns and stables leaned together like they were dozing off. I found a broken windowpane, so I climbed in and walked through the echoing rooms. The house felt very lonely. Clearly, no one had lived there for a long time. Yet it seemed ready for someone to move in, as if it were waiting. Charming old four-poster beds were in three rooms—dimity curtains and spotless linens—along with old oak chests and mahogany cabinets. When I opened drawers in the Chippendale sideboards, I discovered beautiful, delicate old silver and exquisite china that reminded me of a lovely grandmother of mine, made of old lace, laughing wrinkles, and mischievous blue eyes.
There was one little room that particularly interested me, a tiny bedroom all white, and at the window the red roses were already in bud. But what caught my eye with peculiar sympathy was a small bookcase, in which were some twenty or thirty volumes, wearing the same forgotten expression—forgotten and yet cared for—which lay like a kind of memorial charm upon everything in the old house. Yes, everything seemed forgotten and yet everything, curiously—even religiously—remembered. I took out book after book from the shelves, once or twice flowers fell out from the pages—and I caught sight of a delicate handwriting here and there and frail markings. It was evidently the little intimate library of a young girl. What surprised me most was to find that quite half the books were in French—French poets and French romancers: a charming, very rare edition of Ronsard, a beautifully printed edition of Alfred de Musset, and a copy of Théophile Gautier's Mademoiselle de Maupin. How did these exotic books come to be there alone in a deserted New England farm-house?
There was one little room that really caught my attention, a tiny all-white bedroom, where the red roses at the window were already budding. But what really stood out to me was a small bookcase, filled with about twenty or thirty books, all wearing the same forgotten but still cared-for look, like a kind of memorial charm that surrounded everything in the old house. Yes, everything felt forgotten, yet somehow everything was—curiously, even reverently—remembered. I pulled out book after book from the shelves, and once or twice, flowers fell out from the pages. I noticed delicate handwriting here and there and fragile markings. It clearly belonged to a young girl's personal library. What surprised me the most was finding that nearly half the books were in French—French poets and romancers: a charming, very rare edition of Ronsard, a beautifully printed edition of Alfred de Musset, and a copy of Théophile Gautier's Mademoiselle de Maupin. How did these exotic books end up alone in an abandoned New England farmhouse?
This question was to be answered later in a strange way. Meanwhile I had fallen in love with the sad, old, silent place, and as I closed the white gate and was once more on the road, I looked about for someone who could tell me whether or not this house of ghosts might be rented for the summer by a comparatively living man.
This question would be answered later in an unusual way. In the meantime, I had fallen in love with the melancholy, ancient, quiet place, and as I closed the white gate and was back on the road, I looked around for someone who could tell me if this house of ghosts could be rented for the summer by a relatively living person.
I was referred to a fine old New England farm-house shining white through the trees a quarter of a mile away. There I met an ancient couple, a typical New England farmer and his wife; the old man, lean, chin-bearded, with keen gray eyes flickering occasionally with a shrewd humor, the old lady with a kindly old face of the withered-apple type and ruddy. They were evidently prosperous people, but their minds—for some reason I could not at the moment divine—seemed to be divided between their New England desire to drive a hard bargain and their disinclination to let the house at all.
I was directed to a charming old New England farmhouse shining white through the trees about a quarter of a mile away. There, I met an elderly couple, a typical New England farmer and his wife; the old man was lean with a chin beard, and his keen gray eyes occasionally sparkled with a sharp sense of humor. The old woman had a warm, wrinkled face that resembled a withered apple but was rosy. They seemed to be well-off, but for some reason I couldn't quite figure out at the moment, their thoughts appeared to be torn between their New England instinct to haggle hard and their reluctance to rent the house at all.
Over and over again they spoke of the loneliness of the place. They feared I would find it very lonely. No one had lived in it for a long time, and so on. It seemed to me that afterwards I understood their curious hesitation, but at the moment only regarded it as a part of the circuitous New England method of bargaining. At all events, the rent I offered finally overcame their disinclination, whatever its cause, and so I came into possession—for four months—of that silent old house, with the white lilacs, and the drowsy barns, and the old piano, and the strange orchard; and, as the summer came on, and the year changed its name from May to June, I used to lie under the apple-trees in the afternoons, dreamily reading some old book, and through half-sleepy eyelids watching the silken shimmer of the Sound.
Again and again, they talked about how lonely the place was. They were worried I would find it really lonely. No one had lived there for a long time, and so on. Afterward, I thought I understood their strange hesitation, but at the time, I just saw it as part of the roundabout New England way of negotiating. In any case, the rent I finally offered eased their reluctance, whatever the reason, and so I took possession—for four months—of that quiet old house, with the white lilacs, the sleepy barns, the old piano, and the unusual orchard; and as summer approached and the year shifted from May to June, I would lie under the apple trees in the afternoons, dreamily reading some old book, and through my half-closed eyes, I watched the silken shimmer of the Sound.
I had lived in the old house for about a month, when one afternoon a strange thing happened to me. I remember the date well. It was the afternoon of Tuesday, June 13th. I was reading, or rather dipping here and there, in Burton's Anatomy of Melancholy. As I read, I remember that a little unripe apple, with a petal or two of blossom still clinging to it, fell upon the old yellow page. Then I suppose I must have fallen into a dream, though it seemed to me that both my eyes and my ears were wide open, for I suddenly became aware of a beautiful young voice singing very softly somewhere among the leaves. The singing was very frail, almost imperceptible, as though it came out of the air. It came and went fitfully, like the elusive fragrance of sweetbrier—as though a girl was walking to and fro, dreamily humming to herself in the still afternoon. Yet there was no one to be seen. The orchard had never seemed more lonely. And another fact that struck me as strange was that the words that floated to me out of the aerial music were French, half sad, half gay snatches of some long-dead singer of old France, I looked about for the origin of the sweet sounds, but in vain. Could it be the birds that were singing in French in this strange orchard? Presently the voice seemed to come quite close to me, so near that it might have been the voice of a dryad singing to me out of the tree against which I was leaning. And this time I distinctly caught the words of the sad little song:
I had been living in the old house for about a month when one afternoon something strange happened to me. I remember the date clearly—it was Tuesday, June 13th. I was reading, or more like skimming through, Burton's Anatomy of Melancholy. As I read, a small unripe apple, with a petal or two still hanging onto it, fell onto the old yellow page. Then I must have dozed off, even though it felt like both my eyes and ears were wide open, because I suddenly became aware of a beautiful young voice softly singing somewhere among the leaves. The singing was delicate, almost unnoticeable, as if it were drifting through the air. It came and went in waves, like the fleeting scent of sweetbriar—like a girl wandering around, dreamily humming to herself in the quiet afternoon. Yet there was no one in sight. The orchard had never felt more deserted. Another odd thing was that the words drifting to me from the ethereal music were in French, a mix of half-sad, half-happy snippets from some long-gone singer of old France. I looked around for the source of the sweet sounds but found nothing. Could it be the birds singing in French in this strange orchard? Gradually, the voice seemed to draw closer, so near that it felt like the voice of a dryad singing to me from the tree I was leaning against. And this time, I clearly heard the words of the sad little song:
"Chante, rossignol, chante,
"Sing, nightingale, sing,"
Toi qui as le cœur gai;
You who have a cheerful heart;
Tu as le cœur à rire,
You have a heart full of laughter,
Moi, je l'ai-t-à pleurer."
I made him cry.
But, though the voice was at my shoulder, I could see no one, and then the singing stopped with what sounded like a sob; and a moment or two later I seemed to hear a sound of sobbing far down the orchard. Then there followed silence, and I was left to ponder on the strange occurrence. Naturally, I decided that it was just a day-dream between sleeping and waking over the pages of an old book; yet when next day and the day after the invisible singer was in the orchard again, I could not be satisfied with such mere matter-of-fact explanation.
But even though the voice was right next to me, I couldn’t see anyone, and then the singing stopped with what sounded like a sob; a moment later, I thought I heard sobbing coming from deep in the orchard. After that, there was silence, and I was left to think about the strange event. Naturally, I assumed it was just a daydream while I was drifting between sleep and waking, reading an old book; yet when the invisible singer was in the orchard again the next day and the day after that, I couldn’t settle for such a simple explanation.
"A la claire fontaine,"
"A la claire fontaine,"
went the voice to and fro through the thick orchard boughs,
went the voice back and forth through the thick orchard branches,
"M'en allant promener,
Going for a walk,
J'ai trouvé l'eau si belle
I found the water so beautiful.
Que je m'y suis baigné,
That I've bathed in it,
Lui y a longtemps que je t'aime,
I have loved you for a long time,
Jamais je ne t'oubliai."
"Never will I forget you."
It was certainly uncanny to hear that voice going to and fro the orchard, there somewhere amid the bright sun-dazzled boughs—yet not a human creature to be seen—not another house even within half a mile. The most materialistic mind could hardly but conclude that here was something "not dreamed of in our philosophy." It seemed to me that the only reasonable explanation was the entirely irrational one—that my orchard was haunted: haunted by some beautiful young spirit, with some sorrow of lost joy that would not let her sleep quietly in her grave.
It was definitely strange to hear that voice moving back and forth in the orchard, somewhere among the bright, sunlit branches—yet there was no one in sight—not even another house within half a mile. Even the most skeptical person would have to conclude that there was something "not dreamed of in our philosophy" happening here. It appeared to me that the only reasonable explanation was the completely irrational one—that my orchard was haunted: haunted by a beautiful young spirit, burdened by some sorrow of lost joy that wouldn’t let her rest peacefully in her grave.
And next day I had a curious confirmation of my theory. Once more I was lying under my favorite apple-tree, half reading and half watching the Sound, lulled into a dream by the whir of insects and the spices called up from the earth by the hot sun. As I bent over the page, I suddenly had the startling impression that someone was leaning over my shoulder and reading with me, and that a girl's long hair was falling over me down on to the page. The book was the Ronsard I had found in the little bedroom. I turned, but again there was nothing there. Yet this time I knew that I had not been dreaming, and I cried out:
And the next day I got a strange confirmation of my theory. Once again, I was lying under my favorite apple tree, half reading and half watching the Sound, lulled into a trance by the buzz of insects and the aromas released from the earth by the hot sun. As I leaned over the page, I suddenly felt the surprising sensation that someone was leaning over my shoulder and reading with me, and that a girl's long hair was falling down onto the page. The book was the Ronsard I had found in the little bedroom. I turned, but once again there was nothing there. Yet this time I knew I wasn't dreaming, and I shouted:
"Poor child! tell me of your grief—that I may help your sorrowing heart to rest."
"Poor child! Tell me about your grief so I can help ease your troubled heart."
But, of course, there was no answer; yet that night I dreamed a strange dream. I thought I was in the orchard again in the afternoon and once again heard the strange singing—but this time, as I looked up, the singer was no longer invisible. Coming toward me was a young girl with wonderful blue eyes filled with tears and gold hair that fell to her waist. She wore a straight, white robe that might have been a shroud or a bridal dress. She appeared not to see me, though she came directly to the tree where I was sitting. And there she knelt and buried her face in the grass and sobbed as if her heart would break. Her long hair fell over her like a mantle, and in my dream I stroked it pityingly and murmured words of comfort for a sorrow I did not understand.... Then I woke suddenly as one does from dreams. The moon was shining brightly into the room. Rising from my bed, I looked out into the orchard. It was almost as bright as day. I could plainly see the tree of which I had been dreaming, and then a fantastic notion possessed me. Slipping on my clothes, I went out into one of the old barns and found a spade. Then I went to the tree where I had seen the girl weeping in my dream and dug down at its foot.
But, of course, there was no answer; that night I had a strange dream. I found myself in the orchard again in the afternoon, and once more I heard the peculiar singing—but this time, when I looked up, the singer was no longer invisible. Coming towards me was a young girl with beautiful blue eyes filled with tears and golden hair that fell to her waist. She wore a simple white robe that could have been either a shroud or a wedding dress. She seemed oblivious to me as she walked directly to the tree where I was sitting. There, she knelt down, buried her face in the grass, and sobbed as if her heart would break. Her long hair draped over her like a cloak, and in my dream, I stroked it gently and whispered comforting words for a sorrow I couldn’t comprehend.... Then I suddenly woke up, like one does from dreams. The moon was shining brightly into the room. I got out of bed and looked out into the orchard. It was almost as bright as day. I could clearly see the tree I had dreamed about, and then a wild idea struck me. I quickly put on my clothes, went to one of the old barns, and found a spade. Then I returned to the tree where I had seen the girl weeping in my dream and started digging at its base.
I had dug little more than a foot when my spade struck upon some hard substance, and in a few more moments I had uncovered and exhumed a small box, which, on examination, proved to be one of those pretty old-fashioned Chippendale work-boxes used by our grandmothers to keep their thimbles and needles in, their reels of cotton and skeins of silk. After smoothing down the little grave in which I had found it, I carried the box into the house, and under the lamplight examined its contents.
I had dug down barely a foot when my spade hit something solid, and moments later I uncovered a small box, which turned out to be one of those lovely old Chippendale work boxes our grandmothers used to store their thimbles and needles, along with their spools of cotton and skeins of silk. After I tidied up the little hole where I found it, I took the box into the house and, under the lamp light, looked through its contents.
Then at once I understood why that sad young spirit went to and fro the orchard singing those little French songs—for the treasure-trove I had found under the apple-tree, the buried treasure of an unquiet, suffering soul, proved to be a number of love-letters written mostly in French in a very picturesque hand—letters, too, written but some five or six years before. Perhaps I should not have read them—yet I read them with such reverence for the beautiful, impassioned love that animated them, and literally made them "smell sweet and blossom in the dust," that I felt I had the sanction of the dead to make myself the confidant of their story. Among the letters were little songs, two of which I had heard the strange young voice singing in the orchard, and, of course, there were many withered flowers and such like remembrances of bygone rapture.
Then suddenly I realized why that sad young spirit wandered back and forth in the orchard singing those little French songs—for the treasure I had discovered under the apple tree, the hidden treasure of a restless, suffering soul, turned out to be a collection of love letters mostly written in French in a very beautiful handwriting—letters that were penned just five or six years earlier. Maybe I shouldn’t have read them—yet I read them with such reverence for the beautiful, passionate love that filled them, making them literally "smell sweet and bloom in the dust," that I felt I had the permission of the deceased to be the confidant of their story. Among the letters were little songs, two of which I had heard the strange young voice singing in the orchard, and naturally, there were many dried flowers and similar tokens of past joy.
Not that night could I make out all the story, though it was not difficult to define its essential tragedy, and later on a gossip in the neighborhood and a headstone in the churchyard told me the rest. The unquiet young soul that had sung so wistfully to and fro the orchard was my landlord's daughter. She was the only child of her parents, a beautiful, willful girl, exotically unlike those from whom she was sprung and among whom she lived with a disdainful air of exile. She was, as a child, a little creature of fairy fancies, and as she grew up it was plain to her father and mother that she had come from another world than theirs. To them she seemed like a child in an old fairy-tale strangely found on his hearth by some shepherd as he returns from the fields at evening—a little fairy girl swaddled in fine linen, and dowered with a mysterious bag of gold.
That night, I couldn’t figure out the whole story, but it wasn’t hard to grasp its core tragedy. Later, neighborhood gossip and a headstone in the churchyard filled in the gaps. The restless young spirit that had sung so wistfully in the orchard was my landlord's daughter. She was her parents’ only child, a beautiful, strong-willed girl, strikingly different from her roots and living among her community with an air of disdain. As a child, she was a whimsical little creature filled with fairy fantasies, and as she grew up, it became clear to her parents that she had come from another world. To them, she seemed like a child from an old fairy tale, unexpectedly found by a shepherd returning home from the fields at dusk—a little fairy girl wrapped in fine linen, gifted with a mysterious bag of gold.
Soon she developed delicate spiritual needs to which her simple parents were strangers. From long truancies in the woods she would come home laden with mysterious flowers, and soon she came to ask for books and pictures and music, of which the poor souls that had given her birth had never heard. Finally she had her way, and went to study at a certain fashionable college; and there the brief romance of her life began. There she met a romantic young Frenchman who had read Ronsard to her and written her those picturesque letters I had found in the old mahogany work-box. And after a while the young Frenchman had gone back to France, and the letters had ceased. Month by month went by, and at length one day, as she sat wistful at the window, looking out at the foolish sunlit road, a message came. He was dead. That headstone in the village churchyard tells the rest. She was very young to die—scarcely nineteen years; and the dead who have died young, with all their hopes and dreams still like unfolded buds within their hearts, do not rest so quietly in the grave as those who have gone through the long day from morning until evening and are only too glad to sleep.
Soon she developed sensitive spiritual needs that her simple parents didn't understand. After long absences in the woods, she would return home with mysterious flowers, and soon she started asking for books, pictures, and music—things her parents had never heard of. Eventually, she got her way and went to a trendy college; that’s where the brief romance of her life began. There, she met a romantic young Frenchman who had read Ronsard to her and written those beautiful letters I found in the old mahogany workbox. After a while, the young Frenchman returned to France, and the letters stopped. Month after month passed, and one day, as she sat longingly at the window, gazing out at the bright, foolish road, she received a message. He was dead. That headstone in the village churchyard tells the rest. She was very young to die—barely nineteen; and those who die young, with all their hopes and dreams still like unopened buds in their hearts, do not rest as peacefully in the grave as those who have lived through the long day from morning till evening and are only too glad to sleep.
Next day I took the little box to a quiet corner of the orchard, and made a little pyre of fragrant boughs—for so I interpreted the wish of that young, unquiet spirit—and the beautiful words are now safe, taken up again into the aerial spaces from which they came.
The next day, I took the small box to a quiet spot in the orchard and built a little pyre of fragrant branches—this is how I understood the wish of that young, restless spirit—and the beautiful words are now safe, returned to the airy realm from which they came.
But since then the birds sing no more little French songs in my old orchard.
But since then, the birds no longer sing those little French songs in my old orchard.
The Bowmen
By ARTHUR MACHENBy Arthur Machen
From The Bowmen, by Arthur Machen. Published in England by Simpkin, Marshall, Hamilton, Kent & Co., Ltd., and in America by G.P. Putnam's Sons. By permission of the publishers and Arthur Machen.
From The Bowmen, by Arthur Machen. Published in England by Simpkin, Marshall, Hamilton, Kent & Co., Ltd., and in America by G.P. Putnam's Sons. By permission of the publishers and Arthur Machen.
It was during the Retreat of the Eighty Thousand, and the authority of the Censorship is sufficient excuse for not being more explicit. But it was on the most awful day of that awful time, on the day when ruin and disaster came so near that their shadow fell over London far away; and, without any certain news, the hearts of men failed within them and grew faint; as if the agony of the army in the battlefield had entered into their souls.
It was during the Retreat of the Eighty Thousand, and the authority of the Censorship is a good reason for not being more specific. But it was on the most terrible day of that terrible time, on the day when destruction and disaster came so close that their shadow fell over distant London; and, without any clear news, the hearts of men sank within them and grew weak; as if the suffering of the army on the battlefield had entered their souls.
On this dreadful day, then, when three hundred thousand men in arms with all their artillery swelled like a flood against the little English company, there was one point above all other points in our battle line that was for a time in awful danger, not merely of defeat, but of utter annihilation. With the permission of the Censorship and of the military expert, this corner may, perhaps, be described as a salient, and if this angle were crushed and broken, then the English force as a whole would be shattered, the Allied left would be turned, and Sedan would inevitably follow.
On this terrible day, when three hundred thousand armed men and all their artillery surged like a flood against the small English group, there was one spot in our battle line that was at serious risk, not just of defeat, but of complete destruction. With the approval of the Censorship and the military expert, this point might be referred to as a salient, and if this angle were overwhelmed and broken, the entire English force would be shattered, the Allied left would be compromised, and Sedan would inevitably fall.
All the morning the German guns had thundered and shrieked against this corner, and against the thousand or so of men who held it. The men joked at the shells, and found funny names for them, and had bets about them, and greeted them with scraps of music-hall songs. But the shells came on and burst, and tore good Englishmen limb from limb, and tore brother from brother, and as the heat of the day increased so did the fury of that terrific cannonade. There was no help, it seemed. The English artillery was good, but there was not nearly enough of it; it was being steadily battered into scrap iron.
All morning, the German guns had roared and screamed at this spot and the thousand or so men defending it. The soldiers laughed off the shells, came up with funny names for them, made bets about them, and greeted them with bits of music-hall songs. But the shells kept coming, exploding and ripping good Englishmen apart, separating brothers from each other, and as the day got hotter, so did the intensity of that relentless bombardment. It seemed there was no rescue in sight. The English artillery was decent, but there just wasn't enough of it; it was being steadily smashed into scrap metal.
There comes a moment in a storm at sea when people say to one another, "It is at its worst; it can blow no harder," and then there is a blast ten times more fierce than any before it. So it was in these British trenches.
There comes a point in a storm at sea when people tell each other, "This is the worst of it; it can't get any worse," and then a gust comes that’s ten times more intense than anything that has come before. That’s how it was in these British trenches.
There were no stouter hearts in the whole world than the hearts of these men; but even they were appalled as this seven-times-heated hell of the German cannonade fell upon them and overwhelmed them and destroyed them. And at this very moment they saw from their trenches that a tremendous host was moving against their lines. Five hundred of the thousand remained, and as far as they could see the German infantry was pressing on against them, column upon column, a gray world of men, ten thousand of them, as it appeared afterwards.
There were no braver hearts in the world than those of these men; yet even they were terrified as the intense bombardment from the German cannons rained down on them, overwhelming and destroying them. At that very moment, they saw from their trenches that a massive force was advancing toward their lines. Five hundred out of a thousand remained, and as far as they could see, the German soldiers were pushing forward against them, one column after another, a gray sea of men, probably around ten thousand of them, as it turned out later.
There was no hope at all. They shook hands, some of them. One man improvised a new version of the battle-song, "Good-by, good-by to Tipperary," ending with "And we shan't get there." And they all went on firing steadily. The officer pointed out that such an opportunity for high-class fancy shooting might never occur again; the Tipperary humorist asked, "What price Sidney Street?" And the few machine guns did their best. But everybody knew it was of no use. The dead gray bodies lay in companies and battalions, as others came on and on and on, and they swarmed and stirred, and advanced from beyond and beyond.
There was no hope at all. They shook hands, some of them. One man made up a new version of the battle song, "Goodbye, goodbye to Tipperary," ending with "And we won't get there." And they all kept firing steadily. The officer pointed out that such an opportunity for skilled shooting might never happen again; the Tipperary jokester asked, "What about Sidney Street?" And the few machine guns did their best. But everyone knew it was pointless. The lifeless gray bodies lay in groups and battalions, as others kept coming and coming, swarming and shifting, advancing from beyond and beyond.
"World without end. Amen," said one of the British soldiers with some irrelevance as he took aim and fired. And then he remembered—he says he cannot think why or wherefore—a queer vegetarian restaurant in London where he had once or twice eaten eccentric dishes of cutlets made of lentils and nuts that pretended to be steak. On all the plates in this restaurant there was printed a figure of St. George in blue, with the motto, "Adsit Anglis Sanctus Georgius"—"May St. George be a present help to the English." This soldier happened to know Latin and other useless things, and now, as he fired at his man in the gray advancing mass—three hundred yards away—he uttered the pious vegetarian motto. He went on firing to the end, and at last Bill on his right had to clout him cheerfully over the head to make him stop, pointing out as he did so that the King's ammunition cost money and was not lightly to be wasted in drilling funny patterns into dead Germans.
"World without end. Amen," said one of the British soldiers somewhat randomly as he took aim and shot. And then he recalled—he claims he has no idea why or how—a strange vegetarian restaurant in London where he had eaten a couple of times odd dishes of cutlets made from lentils and nuts that pretended to be steak. On all the plates in this restaurant, there was a blue figure of St. George printed with the motto, "Adsit Anglis Sanctus Georgius"—"May St. George be a present help to the English." This soldier happened to know Latin and other useless facts, and now, as he fired at his target in the gray mass advancing—three hundred yards away—he recited the pious vegetarian motto. He kept firing until the end, and finally, Bill on his right had to cheerfully thump him on the head to get him to stop, pointing out as he did so that the King's ammunition was expensive and shouldn't be lightly wasted on creating funny patterns in dead Germans.
For as the Latin scholar uttered his invocation he felt something between a shudder and an electric shock pass through his body. The roar of the battle died down in his ears to a gentle murmur; instead of it, he says, he heard a great voice and a shout louder than a thunder-peal crying, "Array, array, array!"
For when the Latin scholar said his invocation, he felt something like a shiver or an electric jolt run through his body. The sounds of battle faded in his ears to a soft murmur; instead, he heard a powerful voice and a shout louder than a thunderclap calling, "Get ready, get ready, get ready!"
His heart grew hot as a burning coal, it grew cold as ice within him, as it seemed to him that a tumult of voices answered to his summons. He heard, or seemed to hear, thousands shouting: "St. George! St. George!"
His heart burned like a hot coal, then turned cold as ice inside him, as he felt a wave of voices responding to his call. He heard, or thought he heard, thousands shouting: "St. George! St. George!"
"Ha! Messire, ha! sweet Saint, grant us good deliverance!"
"Ha! Sir, ha! sweet Saint, please grant us a safe escape!"
"St. George for merry England!"
"St. George for happy England!"
"Harow! Harow! Monseigneur St. George, succor us!"
"Help! Help! Lord St. George, save us!"
"Ha! St. George! Ha! St. George! a long bow and a strong bow."
"Ha! St. George! Ha! St. George! a long bow and a strong bow."
"Heaven's Knight, aid us!"
"Heaven's Knight, help us!"
And as the soldier heard these voices he saw before him, beyond the trench, a long line of shapes, with a shining about them. They were like men who drew the bow, and with another shout, their cloud of arrows flew singing and tingling through the air towards the German hosts.
And as the soldier heard these voices, he saw in front of him, beyond the trench, a long line of figures, glowing around them. They looked like men with bows, and with another shout, their swarm of arrows shot through the air, singing and buzzing toward the German troops.
The other men in the trench were firing all the while. They had no hope; but they aimed just as if they had been shooting at Bisley.
The other guys in the trench were firing the whole time. They had no hope, but they aimed as if they were shooting at Bisley.
Suddenly one of them lifted up his voice in the plainest English.
Suddenly, one of them spoke up in the clearest English.
"Gawd help us!" he bellowed to the man next to him, "but we're blooming marvels! Look at those gray ... gentlemen, look at them! D'ye see them? They're not going down in dozens nor in 'undreds; it's thousands, it is. Look! look! there's a regiment gone while I'm talking to ye."
"Gosh help us!" he shouted to the man next to him, "but we're blooming miracles! Look at those gray ... gentlemen, see them? They're not going down in dozens or in hundreds; it’s thousands, it is. Look! Look! There's a whole regiment gone while I'm talking to you."
"Shut it!" the other soldier bellowed, taking aim, "what are ye gassing about?"
"Shut up!" the other soldier shouted, aiming his weapon. "What are you talking about?"
But he gulped with astonishment even as he spoke, for, indeed, the gray men were falling by the thousands. The English could hear the guttural scream of the German officers, the crackle of their revolvers as they shot the reluctant; and still line after line crashed to the earth.
But he gasped in shock even as he talked, because, really, the gray men were dropping by the thousands. The English could hear the harsh screams of the German officers and the crack of their revolvers as they shot the unwilling; and still, line after line fell to the ground.
All the while the Latin-bred soldier heard the cry:
All the while, the soldier from a Latin background heard the cry:
"Harow! Harow! Monseigneur, dear Saint, quick to our aid! St. George help us!"
"Help! Help! Monseigneur, dear Saint, come quickly to our aid! St. George, help us!"
"High Chevalier, defend us!"
"High Knight, protect us!"
The singing arrows fled so swift and thick that they darkened the air, the heathen horde melted from before them.
The arrows flew so fast and densely that they darkened the sky, causing the enemy group to retreat.
"More machine guns!" Bill yelled to Tom.
"More machine guns!" Bill shouted to Tom.
"Don't hear them," Tom yelled back.
"Don't listen to them," Tom shouted back.
"But, thank God, anyway; they've got it in the neck."
"But, thank God, at least; they're getting what they deserve."
In fact, there were ten thousand dead German soldiers left before that salient of the English army, and consequently there was no Sedan. In Germany, a country ruled by scientific principles, the Great General Staff decided that the contemptible English must have employed shells containing an unknown gas of a poisonous nature, as no wounds were discernible on the bodies of the dead German soldiers. But the man who knew what nuts tasted like when they called themselves steak knew also that St. George had brought his Agincourt Bowmen to help the English.
In fact, there were ten thousand dead German soldiers left in front of the English army, so there was no Sedan. In Germany, a country governed by scientific principles, the Great General Staff concluded that the despised English must have used shells containing some unknown poisonous gas since there were no visible wounds on the bodies of the dead German soldiers. But the man who knew what nuts tasted like when they claimed to be steak also knew that St. George had brought his Agincourt Bowmen to aid the English.
A Ghost
By GUY DE MAUPASSANTBy Guy de Maupassant
Translated for this volume by M. Charles Sommer.
Translated for this volume by M. Charles Sommer.
We were speaking of sequestration, alluding to a recent lawsuit. It was at the close of a friendly evening in a very old mansion in the Rue de Grenelle, and each of the guests had a story to tell, which he assured us was true.
We were talking about sequestration, referring to a recent lawsuit. It was the end of a nice evening in a very old mansion on Rue de Grenelle, and each guest had a story to share, claiming it was true.
Then the old Marquis de la Tour-Samuel, eighty-two years of age, rose and came forward to lean on the mantelpiece. He told the following story in his slightly quavering voice.
Then the old Marquis de la Tour-Samuel, eighty-two years old, stood up and walked over to lean on the mantelpiece. He told the following story in his slightly shaky voice.
"I, also, have witnessed a strange thing—so strange that it has been the nightmare of my life. It happened fifty-six years ago, and yet there is not a month when I do not see it again in my dreams. From that day I have borne a mark, a stamp of fear,—do you understand?
"I, too, have seen something bizarre—so bizarre that it has haunted me for my entire life. It happened fifty-six years ago, and still, there isn’t a month that goes by without it appearing in my dreams. Ever since that day, I have carried a mark, a stamp of fear—do you get what I mean?"
"Yes, for ten minutes I was a prey to terror, in such a way that ever since a constant dread has remained in my soul. Unexpected sounds chill me to the heart; objects which I can ill distinguish in the evening shadows make me long to flee. I am afraid at night.
"Yes, for ten minutes I was filled with terror, and ever since, a constant fear has lingered in my heart. Sudden noises send chills down my spine; things I can barely make out in the evening shadows make me want to run away. I’m scared at night."
"No! I would not have owned such a thing before reaching my present age. But now I may tell everything. One may fear imaginary dangers at eighty-two years old. But before actual danger I have never turned back, mesdames.
"No! I wouldn't have owned something like that before I reached my current age. But now I can share everything. One might fear imaginary threats at eighty-two years old. But I've never backed down from real danger, ladies."
"That affair so upset my mind, filled me with such a deep, mysterious unrest that I never could tell it. I kept it in that inmost part, that corner where we conceal our sad, our shameful secrets, all the weaknesses of our life which cannot be confessed.
"That situation disturbed me so much, filled me with such a deep, mysterious anxiety that I could never talk about it. I kept it in that innermost part, that corner where we hide our painful, shameful secrets, all the weaknesses of our lives that we can’t confess."
"I will tell you that strange happening just as it took place, with no attempt to explain it. Unless I went mad for one short hour it must be explainable, though. Yet I was not mad, and I will prove it to you. Imagine what you will. Here are the simple facts:
"I’m going to share that weird event just as it happened, without trying to explain it. Unless I lost my mind for just an hour, it has to be explainable, though. But I wasn’t crazy, and I’ll show you that. Picture whatever you want. Here are the basic facts:
"It was in 1827, in July. I was quartered with my regiment in Rouen.
"It was July 1827. I was stationed with my regiment in Rouen."
"One day, as I was strolling on the quay, I came across a man I believed I recognized, though I could not place him with certainty. I instinctively went more slowly, ready to pause. The stranger saw my impulse, looked at me, and fell into my arms.
"One day, as I was walking along the dock, I saw a guy I thought I recognized, but I couldn’t quite figure out who he was. I naturally slowed down, getting ready to stop. The stranger noticed my hesitation, looked at me, and collapsed into my arms."
"It was a friend of my younger days, of whom I had been very fond. He seemed to have become half a century older in the five years since I had seen him. His hair was white, and he stooped in his walk, as if he were exhausted. He understood my amazement and told me the story of his life.
"It was a friend from my younger days, someone I had really cared about. He looked like he had aged fifty years in the five years since I last saw him. His hair was white, and he hunched over as he walked, as if he were tired. He noticed my shock and shared the story of his life with me."
"A terrible event had broken him down. He had fallen madly in love with a young girl and married her in a kind of dreamlike ecstasy. After a year of unalloyed bliss and unexhausted passion, she had died suddenly of heart disease, no doubt killed by love itself.
"A terrible event had shattered him. He had fallen head over heels in love with a young girl and married her in a sort of dreamy ecstasy. After a year of pure happiness and endless passion, she suddenly died from heart disease, most likely brought on by love itself."
"He had left the country on the very day of her funeral, and had come to live in his hotel at Rouen. He remained there, solitary and desperate, grief slowly mining him, so wretched that he constantly thought of suicide.
"He had left the country on the very day of her funeral and moved into his hotel in Rouen. He stayed there, alone and desperate, with grief slowly eating away at him, so miserable that he constantly thought about suicide."
"'As I thus came across you again,' he said, 'I shall ask a great favor of you. I want you to go to my château and get some papers I urgently need. They are in the writing-desk of my room, of our room. I cannot send a servant or a lawyer, as the errand must be kept private. I want absolute silence.
"'As I came across you again,' he said, 'I have a huge favor to ask. I need you to go to my château and grab some papers I urgently need. They’re in the writing desk of my room, of our room. I can't send a servant or a lawyer because this needs to stay private. I need complete confidentiality.'
"'I shall give you the key of the room, which I locked carefully myself before leaving, and the key to the writing-desk. I shall also give you a note for the gardener, who will let you in.
"I'll give you the key to the room that I locked up carefully myself before leaving, and the key to the writing desk. I'll also give you a note for the gardener, who will let you in."
"'Come to breakfast with me to-morrow, and we'll talk the matter over.'
"'Join me for breakfast tomorrow, and we'll discuss it then.'"
"I promised to render him that slight service. It would mean but a pleasant excursion for me, his home not being more than twenty-five miles from Rouen. I could go there in an hour on horseback.
"I promised to do him that small favor. It would just be a nice trip for me, since his home is only about twenty-five miles from Rouen. I could get there in an hour on horseback."
"At ten o'clock the next day I was with him. We breakfasted alone together, yet he did not utter more than twenty words. He asked me to excuse him. The thought that I was going to visit the room where his happiness lay shattered, upset him, he said. Indeed, he seemed perturbed, worried, as if some mysterious struggle were taking place in his soul.
"At ten o'clock the next day, I was with him. We had breakfast together, but he didn’t say more than twenty words. He asked me to understand. The idea of me going to see the room where his happiness was destroyed upset him, he said. In fact, he seemed troubled, anxious, as if a mysterious battle was happening within him."
"At last he explained exactly what I was to do. It was very simple. I was to take two packages of letters and some papers, locked in the first drawer at the right of the desk of which I had the key. He added:
"Finally, he clarified exactly what I needed to do. It was really easy. I was supposed to take two packages of letters and some papers, locked in the first drawer on the right side of the desk, for which I had the key. He added:"
"'I need not ask you not to glance at them.'
'I don't need to ask you not to look at them.'
"I was almost hurt by his words, and told him so, rather sharply. He stammered:
"I was almost hurt by his words, and I told him that, pretty sharply. He stammered:
"'Forgive me. I suffer so much!'
"'Forgive me. I'm in so much pain!'"
"And tears came to his eyes.
"And tears filled his eyes."
"I left about one o'clock to accomplish my errand.
I left around one o'clock to take care of my errand.
"The day was radiant, and I rushed through the meadows, listening to the song of the larks, and the rhythmical beat of my sword on my riding-boots.
The day was bright, and I hurried through the fields, listening to the larks sing and the steady tapping of my sword against my riding boots.
"Then I entered the forest, and I set my horse to walking. Branches of the trees softly caressed my face, and now and then I would catch a leaf between my teeth and bite it with avidity, full of the joy of life, such as fills you without reason, with a tumultuous happiness almost indefinable, a kind of magical strength.
"Then I walked into the forest, guiding my horse along. The branches of the trees gently brushed against my face, and occasionally I would grab a leaf with my teeth and chew on it eagerly, filled with a joy for life that comes without explanation, a wild happiness that's hard to put into words, a kind of magical energy."
"As I neared the house I took out the letter for the gardener, and noted with surprise that it was sealed. I was so amazed and so annoyed that I almost turned back without fulfilling my mission. Then I thought that I should thus display over-sensitiveness and bad taste. My friend might have sealed it unconsciously, worried as he was.
As I got closer to the house, I pulled out the letter for the gardener and noticed with surprise that it was sealed. I was so shocked and annoyed that I almost turned back without completing my task. Then I realized that I would be acting overly sensitive and lacking in good taste. My friend might have sealed it without thinking, given how worried he was.
"The manor looked as though it had been deserted the last twenty years. The gate, wide-open and rotten, held, one wondered how. Grass filled the paths; you could not tell the flower-beds from the lawn.
"The manor looked like it had been abandoned for the last twenty years. The gate, wide open and decaying, somehow managed to stay upright. Grass covered the paths; you couldn't tell the flower beds apart from the lawn."
"At the noise I made kicking a shutter, an old man came out from a side-door and was apparently amazed to see me there. I dismounted from my horse and gave him the letter. He read it once or twice, turned it over, looked at me with suspicion, and asked:
"At the noise I made kicking a shutter, an old man came out from a side door and seemed surprised to see me there. I got off my horse and handed him the letter. He read it once or twice, flipped it over, looked at me with suspicion, and asked:
"'Well, what do you want?'
"'So, what do you want?'"
"I answered sharply:
"I replied sharply:"
"'You must know it as you have read your master's orders. I want to get in the house.'
"'You must know it since you've read your boss's orders. I want to get into the house.'"
"He appeared overwhelmed. He said:
"He looked overwhelmed. He said:"
"'So—you are going in—in his room?'
"So—you’re going into his room?"
"I was getting impatient.
I was getting restless.
"'Parbleu! Do you intend to question me, by chance?'
"'Wow! Are you planning to question me, by any chance?'"
"He stammered:
"He stuttered:
"'No—monsieur—only—it has not been opened since—since the death. If you will wait five minutes, I will go in to see whether——'
"'No—sir—it's just that it hasn't been opened since—since the death. If you could wait five minutes, I will go in to check whether——'
"I interrupted angrily:
"I interrupted, angry:"
"'See here, are you joking? You can't go in that room, as I have the key!'
"'Hey, are you serious? You can't go in that room, since I have the key!'"
"He no longer knew what to say.
He didn't know what to say anymore.
"'Then, monsieur, I will show you the way.'
'Then, sir, I will show you the way.'
"'Show me the stairs and leave me alone. I can find it without your help.'
"'Show me the stairs and leave me alone. I can find it without your help.'"
"'But—still—monsieur——'
"'But—still—sir——'"
"Then I lost my temper.
Then I blew my cool.
"'Now be quiet! Else you'll be sorry!'
"'Now be quiet! Or you'll regret it!'"
"I roughly pushed him aside and went into the house.
I roughly shoved him aside and walked into the house.
"I first went through the kitchen, then crossed two small rooms occupied by the man and his wife. From there I stepped into a large hall. I went up the stairs, and I recognized the door my friend had described to me.
"I first went through the kitchen, then crossed two small rooms occupied by the man and his wife. From there I stepped into a large hall. I went up the stairs, and I recognized the door my friend had described to me."
"I opened it with ease and went in.
I opened it easily and went inside.
"The room was so dark that at first I could not distinguish anything. I paused, arrested by that moldy and stale odor peculiar to deserted and condemned rooms, of dead rooms. Then gradually my eyes grew accustomed to the gloom, and I saw rather clearly a great room in disorder, a bed without sheets having still its mattresses and pillows, one of which bore the deep print of an elbow or a head, as if someone had just been resting on it.
"The room was so dark that at first I couldn't see anything. I stopped, caught off guard by that musty and stale smell typical of empty and abandoned rooms, of lifeless spaces. Then, slowly, my eyes got used to the dim light, and I could clearly make out a large, messy room, a bed stripped of sheets but still with its mattresses and pillows, one of which had a deep impression of an elbow or head, as if someone had just been lying there."
"The chairs seemed all in confusion. I noticed that a door, probably that of a closet, had remained ajar.
The chairs looked all messed up. I noticed that a door, probably a closet door, was left slightly open.
"I first went to the window and opened it to get some light, but the hinges of the outside shutters were so rusted that I could not loosen them.
"I first went to the window and opened it to let in some light, but the hinges of the outside shutters were so rusted that I couldn't get them to budge."
"I even tried to break them with my sword, but did not succeed. As those fruitless attempts irritated me, and as my eyes were by now adjusted to the dim light, I gave up hope of getting more light and went toward the writing-desk.
"I even tried to break them with my sword, but I didn't succeed. As those pointless attempts frustrated me, and since my eyes had adjusted to the dim light, I lost hope of getting more light and went toward the writing desk."
"I sat down in an arm-chair, folded back the top, and opened the drawer. It was full to the edge. I needed but three packages, which I knew how to distinguish, and I started looking for them.
"I sat down in an armchair, pulled back the top, and opened the drawer. It was overflowing. I only needed three packages, which I knew how to identify, so I began searching for them."
"I was straining my eyes to decipher the inscriptions, when I thought I heard, or rather felt a rustle behind me. I took no notice, thinking a draft had lifted some curtain. But a minute later, another movement, almost indistinct, sent a disagreeable little shiver over my skin. It was so ridiculous to be moved thus even so slightly, that I would not turn round, being ashamed. I had just discovered the second package I needed, and was on the point of reaching for the third, when a great and sorrowful sigh, close to my shoulder, made me give a mad leap two yards away. In my spring I had turned round, my hand on the hilt of my sword, and surely had I not felt that, I should have fled like a coward.
I was straining my eyes to read the inscriptions when I thought I heard, or rather felt, a rustle behind me. I brushed it off, thinking a draft had stirred some curtain. But a minute later, another almost indistinct movement sent an unpleasant shiver down my spine. It was so silly to be affected like that, even slightly, that I wouldn't turn around out of embarrassment. I had just found the second package I needed and was about to reach for the third when a deep, sorrowful sigh right next to my shoulder made me jump back two yards. In my leap, I turned around, my hand on the hilt of my sword, and if I hadn't felt that, I would have run away like a coward.
"A tall woman, dressed in white, was facing me, standing behind the chair in which I had sat a second before.
"A tall woman in white was facing me, standing behind the chair where I had just been sitting."
"Such a shudder ran through me that I almost fell back! Oh, no one who has not felt them can understand those gruesome and ridiculous terrors! The soul melts; your heart seems to stop; your whole body becomes limp as a sponge, and your innermost parts seem collapsing.
"Such a shiver ran through me that I almost fell back! Oh, no one who hasn’t experienced them can understand those terrifying and absurd fears! Your soul feels like it’s melting; your heart seems to stop; your whole body goes limp like a sponge, and your insides feel like they’re collapsing."
"I do not believe in ghosts; and yet I broke down before the hideous fear of the dead; and I suffered, oh, I suffered more in a few minutes, in the irresistible anguish of supernatural dread, than I have suffered in all the rest of my life!
"I don't believe in ghosts; and yet I fell apart in the face of the terrible fear of the dead; and I suffered, oh, I suffered more in just a few minutes, in the overwhelming agony of supernatural terror, than I have in all the rest of my life!"
"If she had not spoken, I might have died. But she did speak; she spoke in a soft and plaintive voice which set my nerves vibrating. I could not say that I regained my self-control. No, I was past knowing what I did; but the kind of pride I have in me, as well as a military pride, helped me to maintain, almost in spite of myself, an honorable countenance. I was making a pose, a pose for myself, and for her, for her, whatever she was, woman, or phantom. I realized this later, for at the time of the apparition, I could think of nothing. I was afraid.
"If she hadn't said anything, I might have died. But she did speak; her soft, sad voice made my nerves tingle. I can't say I got my composure back. No, I was too far gone to know what I was doing; but the pride I have, along with a sense of military honor, pushed me to keep a brave face, almost against my will. I was putting on an act, an act for both myself and for her, whatever she was, whether a woman or a ghost. I realized this later; at the moment of the vision, I could think of nothing. I was scared."
"She said:
"She said:"
"'Oh, you can be of great help to me, monsieur!'
"'Oh, you can really help me out, sir!'"
"I tried to answer, but I was unable to utter one word. A vague sound came from my throat.
"I tried to respond, but I couldn't say a single word. A faint sound escaped from my throat."
"She continued:
"She went on:"
"'Will you? You can save me, cure me. I suffer terribly. I always suffer. I suffer, oh, I suffer!'
"'Will you? You can save me, fix me. I’m in so much pain. I always hurt. I’m hurting, oh, I’m hurting!'"
"And she sat down gently in my chair. She looked at me.
"And she sat down softly in my chair. She looked at me."
"'Will you?'
"'Will you?'"
"I nodded my head, being still paralyzed.
"I nodded my head, staying frozen in place."
"Then she handed me a woman's comb of tortoise-shell, and murmured:
"Then she handed me a woman's tortoiseshell comb and whispered:
"'Comb my hair! Oh, comb my hair! That will cure me. Look at my head—how I suffer! And my hair—how it hurts!'
"'Comb my hair! Oh, please comb my hair! That will make me feel better. Look at my head—I'm in so much pain! And my hair—it really hurts!'"
"Her loose hair, very long, very black, it seemed to me, hung over the back of the chair, touching the floor.
"Her long, black hair hung over the back of the chair and brushed the floor."
"Why did I do it? Why did I, shivering, accept that comb, and why did I take between my hands her long hair, which left on my skin a ghastly impression of cold, as if I had handled serpents? I do not know.
"Why did I do it? Why did I, trembling, accept that comb, and why did I take her long hair in my hands, which left a chilling impression on my skin, as if I had touched snakes? I don’t know."
"That feeling still clings about my fingers, and I shiver when I recall it.
"That feeling still lingers on my fingers, and I shiver when I think back to it."
"I combed her, I handled, I know not how, that hair of ice. I bound and unbound it; I plaited it as one plaits a horse's mane. She sighed, bent her head, seemed happy.
"I brushed her hair, I touched it, I don't even know how, that icy hair. I tied it and untied it; I braided it like you braid a horse's mane. She sighed, lowered her head, and looked content."
"Suddenly she said, 'Thank you!' tore the comb from my hands, and fled through the door which I had noticed was half opened.
"Suddenly she said, 'Thank you!' grabbed the comb from my hands, and ran out through the door that I had seen was half open."
"Left alone, I had for a few seconds the hazy feeling one feels in waking up from a nightmare. Then I recovered myself. I ran to the window and broke the shutters by my furious assault.
"Left alone, I had for a few seconds the hazy feeling one feels in waking up from a nightmare. Then I recovered myself. I ran to the window and broke the shutters with my furious assault."
"A stream of light poured in. I rushed to the door through which that being had gone. I found it locked and immovable.
A stream of light flooded in. I hurried to the door that the figure had gone through. I found it locked and impossible to open.
"Then a fever of flight seized on me, a panic, the true panic of battle. I quickly grasped the three packages of letters from the open desk; I crossed the room running, I took the steps of the stairway four at a time. I found myself outside, I don't know how, and seeing my horse close by, I mounted in one leap and left at a full gallop.
"Then a wave of panic hit me, the real terror of battle. I quickly grabbed the three bundles of letters from the open desk, dashed across the room, and raced up the stairs four steps at a time. I found myself outside—I don’t even know how—and when I saw my horse nearby, I jumped on in one motion and took off at a full gallop."
"I didn't stop till I reached Rouen and drew up in front of my house. Having thrown the reins to my orderly, I flew to my room and locked myself in to think.
"I didn’t stop until I got to Rouen and parked in front of my house. After handing the reins to my assistant, I rushed to my room and locked myself in to think."
"Then for an hour I asked myself whether I had not been the victim of an hallucination. Certainly I must have had one of those nervous shocks, one of those brain disorders such as give rise to miracles, to which the supernatural owes its strength.
"Then for an hour, I wondered if I had been a victim of an hallucination. I must have experienced one of those nervous shocks, one of those mental disturbances that lead to miracles, which is what gives the supernatural its power."
"And I had almost concluded that it was a vision, an illusion of my senses, when I came near to the window. My eyes by chance looked down. My tunic was covered with hairs, long woman's hairs which had entangled themselves around the buttons!
"And I had almost decided that it was just a vision, an illusion of my senses, when I got close to the window. My eyes happened to glance down. My tunic was covered with hairs, long women's hairs that had tangled around the buttons!"
"I took them off one by one and threw them out of the window with trembling fingers.
"I removed them one by one and tossed them out of the window with shaking hands."
"I then called my orderly. I felt too perturbed, too moved, to go and see my friend on that day. Besides, I needed to think over what I should tell him.
"I then called my assistant. I felt too unsettled, too emotional, to visit my friend that day. Besides, I needed to think about what I should say to him."
"I had his letters delivered to him. He gave a receipt to the soldier. He inquired after me and was told that I was not well. I had had a sunstroke, or something. He seemed distressed.
"I had his letters handed to him. He signed for them with the soldier. He asked about me and was told I wasn't feeling well. I had a sunstroke or something. He looked worried."
"I went to see him the next day, early in the morning, bent on telling him the truth. He had gone out the evening before and had not come back.
"I went to see him the next day, early in the morning, determined to tell him the truth. He had gone out the night before and hadn't come back."
"I returned the same day, but he had not been seen. I waited a week. He did not come back. I notified the police. They searched for him everywhere, but no one could find any trace of his passing or of his retreat.
"I came back the same day, but he was nowhere to be found. I waited a week. He still didn’t return. I alerted the police. They looked for him all over, but no one could find any sign of him leaving or where he might have gone."
"A careful search was made in the deserted manor. No suspicious clue was discovered.
A thorough search was conducted in the abandoned manor. No suspicious clues were found.
"There was no sign that a woman had been concealed there.
There was no indication that a woman had been hidden there.
"The inquest gave no result, and so the search went no further.
"The inquest didn’t provide any results, so the search didn’t continue."
"And in fifty-six years I have learned nothing more. I never found out the truth."
"And in fifty-six years, I haven't learned anything more. I never discovered the truth."
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