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FOUR WEIRD TALES
BY
ALGERNON BLACKWOOD
INCLUDING:
The Insanity of Jones
The Man Who Found Out
The Glamour of the Snow
Sand
A NOTE ON THE TEXT
These stories first appeared in Blackwood's story collections: "The Insanity of Jones" in The Listener and Other Stories (1907); "The Man Who Found Out" in The Wolves of God and Other Fey Stories (1921); "The Glamour of the Snow," and "Sand" in Pan's Garden (1912).
These stories were first published in Blackwood's collections: "The Insanity of Jones" in The Listener and Other Stories (1907); "The Man Who Found Out" in The Wolves of God and Other Fey Stories (1921); "The Glamour of the Snow," and "Sand" in Pan's Garden (1912).
The Insanity of Jones
(A Study in Reincarnation)
I
Adventures come to the adventurous, and mysterious things fall in the way of those who, with wonder and imagination, are on the watch for them; but the majority of people go past the doors that are half ajar, thinking them closed, and fail to notice the faint stirrings of the great curtain that hangs ever in the form of appearances between them and the world of causes behind.
Adventures come to those who seek them, and mysterious things appear for those who are curious and imaginative enough to look for them; however, most people walk past doors that are slightly open, believing they are shut, and miss the subtle movements of the great curtain that constantly separates them from the deeper truths hidden behind the surface.
For only to the few whose inner senses have been quickened, perchance by some strange suffering in the depths, or by a natural temperament bequeathed from a remote past, comes the knowledge, not too welcome, that this greater world lies ever at their elbow, and that any moment a chance combination of moods and forces may invite them to cross the shifting frontier.
For only a few whose inner senses have been awakened, maybe by some unusual suffering deep within or by a natural temperament passed down from long ago, comes the somewhat unwelcome realization that this bigger world is always right beside them, and at any moment, a random mix of moods and forces might encourage them to step across the ever-changing boundary.
Some, however, are born with this awful certainty in their hearts, and are called to no apprenticeship, and to this select company Jones undoubtedly belonged.
Some, however, are born with this terrible certainty in their hearts, and don’t need any training, and to this exclusive group, Jones definitely belonged.
All his life he had realised that his senses brought to him merely a more or less interesting set of sham appearances; that space, as men measure it, was utterly misleading; that time, as the clock ticked it in a succession of minutes, was arbitrary nonsense; and, in fact, that all his sensory perceptions were but a clumsy representation of real things behind the curtain—things he was for ever trying to get at, and that sometimes he actually did get at.
All his life, he had come to understand that his senses only provided him with a somewhat interesting collection of false appearances; that space, as people measured it, was completely deceptive; that time, as it was marked by the ticking clock in a series of minutes, was meaningless nonsense; and, in reality, that all his sensory perceptions were just a rough depiction of real things behind the veil—things he was always trying to reach, and that sometimes he actually did grasp.
He had always been tremblingly aware that he stood on the borderland of another region, a region where time and space were merely forms of thought, where ancient memories lay open to the sight, and where the forces behind each human life stood plainly revealed and he could see the hidden springs at the very heart of the world. Moreover, the fact that he was a clerk in a fire insurance office, and did his work with strict attention, never allowed him to forget for one moment that, just beyond the dingy brick walls where the hundred men scribbled with pointed pens beneath the electric lamps, there existed this glorious region where the important part of himself dwelt and moved and had its being. For in this region he pictured himself playing the part of a spectator to his ordinary workaday life, watching, like a king, the stream of events, but untouched in his own soul by the dirt, the noise, and the vulgar commotion of the outer world.
He had always been nervously aware that he stood on the edge of another realm, a realm where time and space were just ideas, where ancient memories were visible, and where the forces behind each human life were clearly displayed, allowing him to see the hidden mechanisms at the very core of the world. Furthermore, the fact that he was a clerk in a fire insurance office and did his job with strict attention never let him forget for a moment that, just beyond the drab brick walls where a hundred men scribbled with pointed pens under the electric lamps, there existed this magnificent realm where the essential part of himself lived and thrived. In this realm, he imagined himself as a spectator to his ordinary daily life, observing, like a king, the flow of events, but remaining unaffected in his own soul by the grime, the noise, and the crass chaos of the outside world.
And this was no poetic dream merely. Jones was not playing prettily with idealism to amuse himself. It was a living, working belief. So convinced was he that the external world was the result of a vast deception practised upon him by the gross senses, that when he stared at a great building like St. Paul's he felt it would not very much surprise him to see it suddenly quiver like a shape of jelly and then melt utterly away, while in its place stood all at once revealed the mass of colour, or the great intricate vibrations, or the splendid sound—the spiritual idea—which it represented in stone.
And this was no mere poetic dream. Jones wasn’t just playing around with idealism to entertain himself. It was a real, working belief. He was so convinced that the external world was the result of a huge deception played on him by his senses that when he looked at a big building like St. Paul's, it wouldn’t surprise him at all to see it suddenly shake like jelly and then completely disappear, revealing all at once the mass of colors, intricate vibrations, or beautiful sounds—the spiritual idea—it represented in stone.
For something in this way it was that his mind worked.
For this reason, that's how his mind worked.
Yet, to all appearances, and in the satisfaction of all business claims, Jones was normal and unenterprising. He felt nothing but contempt for the wave of modern psychism. He hardly knew the meaning of such words as "clairvoyance" and "clairaudience." He had never felt the least desire to join the Theosophical Society and to speculate in theories of astral-plane life, or elementals. He attended no meetings of the Psychical Research Society, and knew no anxiety as to whether his "aura" was black or blue; nor was he conscious of the slightest wish to mix in with the revival of cheap occultism which proves so attractive to weak minds of mystical tendencies and unleashed imaginations.
Yet, to everyone around him, and according to all business standards, Jones seemed normal and unambitious. He felt nothing but disdain for the trend of modern psychism. He barely understood terms like "clairvoyance" and "clairaudience." He had never had the slightest interest in joining the Theosophical Society or speculating about astral-plane life or elementals. He didn't attend any meetings of the Psychical Research Society and had no worries about whether his "aura" was black or blue; nor did he have any desire to get involved with the resurgence of cheap occultism that attracts so many impressionable minds with mystical tendencies and vivid imaginations.
There were certain things he knew, but none he cared to argue about; and he shrank instinctively from attempting to put names to the contents of this other region, knowing well that such names could only limit and define things that, according to any standards in use in the ordinary world, were simply undefinable and illusive.
There were some things he knew, but none he wanted to debate; and he instinctively avoided trying to label the things in this other realm, fully aware that such labels would only restrict and clarify things that, by any regular standards, were simply unexplainable and elusive.
So that, although this was the way his mind worked, there was clearly a very strong leaven of common sense in Jones. In a word, the man the world and the office knew as Jones was Jones. The name summed him up and labelled him correctly—John Enderby Jones.
So, even though this was how his mind operated, it was clear that Jones had a solid dose of common sense. In short, the person the world and the office recognized as Jones was Jones. The name captured his essence and accurately identified him—John Enderby Jones.
Among the things that he knew, and therefore never cared to speak or speculate about, one was that he plainly saw himself as the inheritor of a long series of past lives, the net result of painful evolution, always as himself, of course, but in numerous different bodies each determined by the behaviour of the preceding one. The present John Jones was the last result to date of all the previous thinking, feeling, and doing of John Jones in earlier bodies and in other centuries. He pretended to no details, nor claimed distinguished ancestry, for he realised his past must have been utterly commonplace and insignificant to have produced his present; but he was just as sure he had been at this weary game for ages as that he breathed, and it never occurred to him to argue, to doubt, or to ask questions. And one result of this belief was that his thoughts dwelt upon the past rather than upon the future; that he read much history, and felt specially drawn to certain periods whose spirit he understood instinctively as though he had lived in them; and that he found all religions uninteresting because, almost without exception, they start from the present and speculate ahead as to what men shall become, instead of looking back and speculating why men have got here as they are.
Among the things that he knew, and therefore never bothered to talk or think about, one was that he clearly saw himself as the heir to a long series of past lives, the cumulative result of painful evolution, always himself, of course, but in many different bodies, each shaped by the behavior of the one before it. The current John Jones was the latest outcome of all the previous thinking, feeling, and doing of John Jones in earlier bodies and in other centuries. He didn’t pretend to know the specifics, nor did he claim any distinguished ancestry, because he understood that his past must have been completely ordinary and insignificant to have led to his present; but he was just as certain that he had been at this exhausting game for ages as he was that he breathed, and it never crossed his mind to argue, doubt, or ask questions. One result of this belief was that his thoughts focused more on the past than on the future; he read a lot of history and felt particularly drawn to certain periods whose essence he understood instinctively as if he had lived in them; and he found all religions uninteresting because, almost without exception, they start from the present and speculate about what people will become, rather than looking back and questioning how people ended up where they are.
In the insurance office he did his work exceedingly well, but without much personal ambition. Men and women he regarded as the impersonal instruments for inflicting upon him the pain or pleasure he had earned by his past workings, for chance had no place in his scheme of things at all; and while he recognised that the practical world could not get along unless every man did his work thoroughly and conscientiously, he took no interest in the accumulation of fame or money for himself, and simply, therefore, did his plain duty, with indifference as to results.
In the insurance office, he did his job really well, but without much personal ambition. He saw men and women as just tools that brought him the rewards or hardships he thought he deserved from his past efforts, since luck didn’t factor into his view of things at all. While he understood that society couldn't function without everyone doing their jobs properly and responsibly, he wasn't interested in gaining fame or wealth for himself. So, he just did his basic duties, indifferent to the outcomes.
In common with others who lead a strictly impersonal life, he possessed the quality of utter bravery, and was always ready to face any combination of circumstances, no matter how terrible, because he saw in them the just working-out of past causes he had himself set in motion which could not be dodged or modified. And whereas the majority of people had little meaning for him, either by way of attraction or repulsion, the moment he met some one with whom he felt his past had been vitally interwoven his whole inner being leapt up instantly and shouted the fact in his face, and he regulated his life with the utmost skill and caution, like a sentry on watch for an enemy whose feet could already be heard approaching.
Like others who live a strictly impersonal life, he had a strong sense of bravery and was always ready to confront any situation, no matter how terrible, because he recognized that they were simply the results of past actions he had initiated, which he couldn't avoid or change. While most people didn't mean much to him, whether in a positive or negative way, the moment he encountered someone he felt was deeply connected to his past, his whole inner self sprang to life and made that clear. He navigated his life with great skill and caution, like a guard on alert for an enemy whose footsteps he could already hear approaching.
Thus, while the great majority of men and women left him uninfluenced—since he regarded them as so many souls merely passing with him along the great stream of evolution—there were, here and there, individuals with whom he recognised that his smallest intercourse was of the gravest importance. These were persons with whom he knew in every fibre of his being he had accounts to settle, pleasant or otherwise, arising out of dealings in past lives; and into his relations with these few, therefore, he concentrated as it were the efforts that most people spread over their intercourse with a far greater number. By what means he picked out these few individuals only those conversant with the startling processes of the subconscious memory may say, but the point was that Jones believed the main purpose, if not quite the entire purpose, of his present incarnation lay in his faithful and thorough settling of these accounts, and that if he sought to evade the least detail of such settling, no matter how unpleasant, he would have lived in vain, and would return to his next incarnation with this added duty to perform. For according to his beliefs there was no Chance, and could be no ultimate shirking, and to avoid a problem was merely to waste time and lose opportunities for development.
Thus, while most men and women left him unaffected—since he viewed them as just souls moving with him along the grand river of evolution—there were a few individuals with whom he recognized that even the smallest interaction was extremely significant. These were people with whom he felt deep inside that he had unresolved issues, whether good or bad, stemming from past lives; and so, he focused his energy on these few rather than spreading it thin over many. How he identified these individuals is something only those familiar with the surprising workings of the subconscious mind might understand, but the key point was that Jones believed the main, if not the sole, purpose of his current life was to diligently and completely settle these accounts, and that if he tried to dodge even the smallest detail of this process, no matter how uncomfortable, he would have lived in vain and would come back in his next life with this extra responsibility. For in his view, there was no such thing as Chance, and ultimately, there could be no escaping responsibilities; avoiding a problem was just wasting time and missing out on opportunities for growth.
And there was one individual with whom Jones had long understood clearly he had a very large account to settle, and towards the accomplishment of which all the main currents of his being seemed to bear him with unswerving purpose. For, when he first entered the insurance office as a junior clerk ten years before, and through a glass door had caught sight of this man seated in an inner room, one of his sudden overwhelming flashes of intuitive memory had burst up into him from the depths, and he had seen, as in a flame of blinding light, a symbolical picture of the future rising out of a dreadful past, and he had, without any act of definite volition, marked down this man for a real account to be settled.
And there was one person with whom Jones had long realized he had a significant debt to settle, and all the major currents of his life seemed to be guiding him toward that goal with unwavering determination. When he first joined the insurance office as a junior clerk ten years earlier, and had caught a glimpse of this man sitting in an inner room through a glass door, one of those overwhelming flashes of intuitive memory surged up from deep within him. He saw, as if in a blinding light, a symbolic vision of the future emerging from a painful past, and, without any conscious decision, he identified this man as someone with whom he needed to settle a real account.
"With that man I shall have much to do," he said to himself, as he noted the big face look up and meet his eye through the glass. "There is something I cannot shirk—a vital relation out of the past of both of us."
"With that guy I have a lot to deal with," he thought to himself, as he saw the large face look up and catch his eye through the glass. "There’s something I can’t avoid—a crucial connection from our past."
And he went to his desk trembling a little, and with shaking knees, as though the memory of some terrible pain had suddenly laid its icy hand upon his heart and touched the scar of a great horror. It was a moment of genuine terror when their eyes had met through the glass door, and he was conscious of an inward shrinking and loathing that seized upon him with great violence and convinced him in a single second that the settling of this account would be almost, perhaps, more than he could manage.
And he approached his desk, trembling slightly and with shaky knees, as if the memory of some terrible pain had suddenly gripped his heart and touched the scar of a deep fear. It was a moment of real terror when their eyes met through the glass door, and he felt an inner shrinking and a nausea that overwhelmed him completely, convincing him in an instant that settling this score would be almost, perhaps, more than he could handle.
The vision passed as swiftly as it came, dropping back again into the submerged region of his consciousness; but he never forgot it, and the whole of his life thereafter became a sort of natural though undeliberate preparation for the fulfilment of the great duty when the time should be ripe.
The vision faded as quickly as it appeared, sinking back into the hidden depths of his mind; but he never forgot it, and his entire life afterward became a kind of natural yet unintentional preparation for fulfilling the great duty when the time was right.
In those days—ten years ago—this man was the Assistant Manager, but had since been promoted as Manager to one of the company's local branches; and soon afterwards Jones had likewise found himself transferred to this same branch. A little later, again, the branch at Liverpool, one of the most important, had been in peril owing to mismanagement and defalcation, and the man had gone to take charge of it, and again, by mere chance apparently, Jones had been promoted to the same place. And this pursuit of the Assistant Manager had continued for several years, often, too, in the most curious fashion; and though Jones had never exchanged a single word with him, or been so much as noticed indeed by the great man, the clerk understood perfectly well that these moves in the game were all part of a definite purpose. Never for one moment did he doubt that the Invisibles behind the veil were slowly and surely arranging the details of it all so as to lead up suitably to the climax demanded by justice, a climax in which himself and the Manager would play the leading rôles.
Ten years ago, this guy was the Assistant Manager, but he had since been promoted to Manager of one of the company's local branches; soon after that, Jones also found himself transferred to the same branch. Not long after, the Liverpool branch, one of the most important, was in trouble due to poor management and fraud, and the man took charge of it again. By what seemed like sheer coincidence, Jones was promoted to the same position once more. This pursuit of the Assistant Manager went on for several years, often in the most unusual ways; even though Jones had never spoken a single word to him or even been acknowledged by the important man, the clerk understood very well that these changes were all part of a clear plan. He never doubted for a second that the unseen forces were carefully orchestrating everything to lead up to a climax demanded by justice, a climax in which he and the Manager would take on the leading roles.
"It is inevitable," he said to himself, "and I feel it may be terrible; but when the moment comes I shall be ready, and I pray God that I may face it properly and act like a man."
"It’s unavoidable," he said to himself, "and I think it could be awful; but when the time comes, I’ll be prepared, and I hope God helps me to handle it well and act like a man."
Moreover, as the years passed, and nothing happened, he felt the horror closing in upon him with steady increase, for the fact was Jones hated and loathed the Manager with an intensity of feeling he had never before experienced towards any human being. He shrank from his presence, and from the glance of his eyes, as though he remembered to have suffered nameless cruelties at his hands; and he slowly began to realise, moreover, that the matter to be settled between them was one of very ancient standing, and that the nature of the settlement was a discharge of accumulated punishment which would probably be very dreadful in the manner of its fulfilment.
Moreover, as the years went by and nothing changed, he felt the terror closing in on him more and more. The truth was, Jones hated and despised the Manager with a depth of feeling he had never felt for anyone else. He recoiled from his presence and avoided his gaze as if he remembered having endured unspoken cruelties at his hands. He gradually started to understand that the issue to be resolved between them had been going on for a long time, and that the resolution would likely involve a release of long-held punishment, probably in a way that would be very terrifying.
When, therefore, the chief cashier one day informed him that the man was to be in London again—this time as General Manager of the head office—and said that he was charged to find a private secretary for him from among the best clerks, and further intimated that the selection had fallen upon himself, Jones accepted the promotion quietly, fatalistically, yet with a degree of inward loathing hardly to be described. For he saw in this merely another move in the evolution of the inevitable Nemesis which he simply dared not seek to frustrate by any personal consideration; and at the same time he was conscious of a certain feeling of relief that the suspense of waiting might soon be mitigated. A secret sense of satisfaction, therefore, accompanied the unpleasant change, and Jones was able to hold himself perfectly well in hand when it was carried into effect and he was formally introduced as private secretary to the General Manager.
When the chief cashier informed him one day that the man would be in London again—this time as the General Manager of the head office—and mentioned that he was tasked with finding a private secretary from among the best clerks, and hinted that the choice had been made for him, Jones accepted the promotion quietly and resignedly, though with a level of inner disgust that is hard to describe. He saw this as just another step in the evolution of the unavoidable fate that he couldn’t attempt to escape through any personal feelings; at the same time, he felt a certain relief that the anxiety of waiting would soon be eased. So, a hidden sense of satisfaction came along with the unwelcome change, and Jones managed to keep himself composed when it was put into action, and he was officially introduced as the private secretary to the General Manager.
Now the Manager was a large, fat man, with a very red face and bags beneath his eyes. Being short-sighted, he wore glasses that seemed to magnify his eyes, which were always a little bloodshot. In hot weather a sort of thin slime covered his cheeks, for he perspired easily. His head was almost entirely bald, and over his turn-down collar his great neck folded in two distinct reddish collops of flesh. His hands were big and his fingers almost massive in thickness.
Now, the Manager was a big, overweight guy with a very red face and bags under his eyes. Being short-sighted, he wore glasses that made his eyes look bigger, which were always slightly bloodshot. In hot weather, a sort of thin sweat covered his cheeks, as he perspired easily. His head was almost completely bald, and over his turned-down collar, his thick neck folded into two distinct reddish rolls of flesh. His hands were large, and his fingers were almost thick.
He was an excellent business man, of sane judgment and firm will, without enough imagination to confuse his course of action by showing him possible alternatives; and his integrity and ability caused him to be held in universal respect by the world of business and finance. In the important regions of a man's character, however, and at heart, he was coarse, brutal almost to savagery, without consideration for others, and as a result often cruelly unjust to his helpless subordinates.
He was a great businessman, with sound judgment and a strong will, lacking enough imagination to complicate his decisions with possible alternatives; and his integrity and skills earned him widespread respect in the business and finance world. However, in the crucial areas of a person's character, he was rough, almost savage, showing no concern for others, which often made him cruelly unfair to his vulnerable subordinates.
In moments of temper, which were not infrequent, his face turned a dull purple, while the top of his bald head shone by contrast like white marble, and the bags under his eyes swelled till it seemed they would presently explode with a pop. And at these times he presented a distinctly repulsive appearance.
In moments of anger, which happened quite often, his face turned a dull purple, while the top of his bald head shone brightly like white marble, and the bags under his eyes swelled until it looked like they might burst. During these times, he looked distinctly unpleasant.
But to a private secretary like Jones, who did his duty regardless of whether his employer was beast or angel, and whose mainspring was principle and not emotion, this made little difference. Within the narrow limits in which any one could satisfy such a man, he pleased the General Manager; and more than once his piercing intuitive faculty, amounting almost to clairvoyance, assisted the chief in a fashion that served to bring the two closer together than might otherwise have been the case, and caused the man to respect in his assistant a power of which he possessed not even the germ himself. It was a curious relationship that grew up between the two, and the cashier, who enjoyed the credit of having made the selection, profited by it indirectly as much as any one else.
But to a personal assistant like Jones, who did his job regardless of whether his boss was difficult or kind, and whose motivation came from principle rather than emotions, this made little difference. Within the narrow limits in which anyone could please such a man, he satisfied the General Manager; and more than once, his sharp intuition, almost like a sixth sense, helped the chief in a way that brought them closer together than might have otherwise happened, and made the man respect a capability in his assistant that he didn't even possess himself. It was an interesting relationship that developed between the two, and the cashier, who was credited with making the choice, benefited from it indirectly just like everyone else.
So for some time the work of the office continued normally and very prosperously. John Enderby Jones received a good salary, and in the outward appearance of the two chief characters in this history there was little change noticeable, except that the Manager grew fatter and redder, and the secretary observed that his own hair was beginning to show rather greyish at the temples.
So for a while, the office work went on as usual and was quite successful. John Enderby Jones earned a decent salary, and there wasn't much noticeable change in the outward appearance of the two main characters in this story, except that the Manager got heavier and redder, while the secretary noticed that his hair was starting to turn a bit gray at the temples.
There were, however, two changes in progress, and they both had to do with Jones, and are important to mention.
There were, however, two changes happening, both related to Jones, and they are worth mentioning.
One was that he began to dream evilly. In the region of deep sleep, where the possibility of significant dreaming first develops itself, he was tormented more and more with vivid scenes and pictures in which a tall thin man, dark and sinister of countenance, and with bad eyes, was closely associated with himself. Only the setting was that of a past age, with costumes of centuries gone by, and the scenes had to do with dreadful cruelties that could not belong to modern life as he knew it.
One was that he started to have disturbing dreams. In the deep sleep phase, where intense dreaming first occurs, he was increasingly troubled by vivid scenes and images featuring a tall, thin man with a dark, sinister look and evil eyes, who was closely connected to him. The setting, however, was from a bygone era, complete with clothing from centuries past, and the scenes involved horrific acts of cruelty that seemed out of place in the modern life he knew.
The other change was also significant, but is not so easy to describe, for he had in fact become aware that some new portion of himself, hitherto unawakened, had stirred slowly into life out of the very depths of his consciousness. This new part of himself amounted almost to another personality, and he never observed its least manifestation without a strange thrill at his heart.
The other change was also significant, but it’s not easy to put into words, because he had come to realize that a new part of himself, which had previously been dormant, had slowly come to life from the depths of his consciousness. This new aspect of himself was almost like another personality, and he felt a strange thrill in his heart every time he noticed even the slightest sign of its presence.
For he understood that it had begun to watch the Manager!
For he realized that it had started to watch the Manager!
II
It was the habit of Jones, since he was compelled to work among conditions that were utterly distasteful, to withdraw his mind wholly from business once the day was over. During office hours he kept the strictest possible watch upon himself, and turned the key on all inner dreams, lest any sudden uprush from the deeps should interfere with his duty. But, once the working day was over, the gates flew open, and he began to enjoy himself.
It was Jones's routine, since he had to work in conditions he found completely unappealing, to completely disconnect from work once the day ended. During office hours, he monitored himself closely and locked away all his inner thoughts, making sure nothing would suddenly pop up and distract him from his responsibilities. But once the workday was over, he let loose and started having fun.
He read no modern books on the subjects that interested him, and, as already said, he followed no course of training, nor belonged to any society that dabbled with half-told mysteries; but, once released from the office desk in the Manager's room, he simply and naturally entered the other region, because he was an old inhabitant, a rightful denizen, and because he belonged there. It was, in fact, really a case of dual personality; and a carefully drawn agreement existed between Jones-of-the-fire-insurance-office and Jones-of-the-mysteries, by the terms of which, under heavy penalties, neither region claimed him out of hours.
He didn’t read any modern books on the topics that intrigued him, and, as mentioned before, he didn’t follow any training programs or belong to any groups that dealt with half-revealed mysteries. But, once he was done at the desk in the Manager's office, he naturally moved into the other realm, because he was an old resident, a legitimate member, and it was where he fit in. It was actually a clear case of a split personality, and there was a carefully crafted agreement between Jones-from-the-fire-insurance-office and Jones-from-the-mysteries, stipulating that neither area could claim him after hours under heavy consequences.
For the moment he reached his rooms under the roof in Bloomsbury, and had changed his city coat to another, the iron doors of the office clanged far behind him, and in front, before his very eyes, rolled up the beautiful gates of ivory, and he entered into the places of flowers and singing and wonderful veiled forms. Sometimes he quite lost touch with the outer world, forgetting to eat his dinner or go to bed, and lay in a state of trance, his consciousness working far out of the body. And on other occasions he walked the streets on air, half-way between the two regions, unable to distinguish between incarnate and discarnate forms, and not very far, probably, beyond the strata where poets, saints, and the greatest artists have moved and thought and found their inspiration. But this was only when some insistent bodily claim prevented his full release, and more often than not he was entirely independent of his physical portion and free of the real region, without let or hindrance.
As soon as he got to his room in Bloomsbury and changed out of his city coat, the heavy doors of the office slammed shut behind him. In front of him, the stunning ivory gates opened, leading him into a place filled with flowers, music, and amazing veiled figures. Sometimes he completely lost touch with the outside world, forgetting to eat dinner or go to bed, and would lie in a trance, his mind drifting far from his body. Other times, he felt like he was walking on air, caught between those two realms, unable to tell the difference between physical beings and spirits, likely not far from where poets, saints, and the greatest artists have lived, thought, and drawn their inspiration. But this only happened when some persistent physical urge kept him from fully disconnecting; more often than not, he was completely detached from his body and free from the physical world, without any constraints.
One evening he reached home utterly exhausted after the burden of the day's work. The Manager had been more than usually brutal, unjust, ill-tempered, and Jones had been almost persuaded out of his settled policy of contempt into answering back. Everything seemed to have gone amiss, and the man's coarse, underbred nature had been in the ascendant all day long: he had thumped the desk with his great fists, abused, found fault unreasonably, uttered outrageous things, and behaved generally as he actually was—beneath the thin veneer of acquired business varnish. He had done and said everything to wound all that was woundable in an ordinary secretary, and though Jones fortunately dwelt in a region from which he looked down upon such a man as he might look down on the blundering of a savage animal, the strain had nevertheless told severely upon him, and he reached home wondering for the first time in his life whether there was perhaps a point beyond which he would be unable to restrain himself any longer.
One evening he came home completely drained after the weight of the day’s work. The Manager had been unusually brutal, unfair, and ill-tempered, and Jones had almost been pushed out of his usual attitude of disdain into responding. Everything seemed to go wrong, and the man's rude, uncultured nature had dominated all day: he had slammed his fists on the desk, yelled, picked unreasonable fights, said outrageous things, and generally acted exactly as he was—underneath the thin layer of polished business demeanor. He had done and said everything to hurt all that could be hurt in an ordinary secretary, and although Jones thankfully perceived himself as looking down on such a man like he would on the clumsy behavior of a wild animal, the tension had still taken a heavy toll on him, and he came home wondering for the first time in his life if there might be a point where he couldn't hold himself back any longer.
For something out of the usual had happened. At the close of a passage of great stress between the two, every nerve in the secretary's body tingling from undeserved abuse, the Manager had suddenly turned full upon him, in the corner of the private room where the safes stood, in such a way that the glare of his red eyes, magnified by the glasses, looked straight into his own. And at this very second that other personality in Jones—the one that was ever watching—rose up swiftly from the deeps within and held a mirror to his face.
For something unusual had happened. At the end of a highly charged moment between the two, every nerve in the secretary's body was tingling from unwarranted mistreatment, when the Manager suddenly confronted him in the corner of the private room where the safes were, causing the glare of his red eyes, amplified by his glasses, to bore directly into the secretary's own gaze. And at that very moment, the other side of Jones—the one that was always watching—emerged quickly from deep within and held a mirror up to his face.
A moment of flame and vision rushed over him, and for one single second—one merciless second of clear sight—he saw the Manager as the tall dark man of his evil dreams, and the knowledge that he had suffered at his hands some awful injury in the past crashed through his mind like the report of a cannon.
A moment of fire and insight washed over him, and for just one brief second—one unrelenting second of clarity—he saw the Manager as the tall, dark figure from his nightmares, and the realization that he had endured some terrible harm at his hands in the past hit him like the sound of a cannon.
It all flashed upon him and was gone, changing him from fire to ice, and then back again to fire; and he left the office with the certain conviction in his heart that the time for his final settlement with the man, the time for the inevitable retribution, was at last drawing very near.
It all hit him and was gone, turning him from fire to ice, and then back to fire again; and he left the office with a strong belief in his heart that the moment for his final reckoning with the man, the moment for the unavoidable payback, was finally approaching very soon.
According to his invariable custom, however, he succeeded in putting the memory of all this unpleasantness out of his mind with the changing of his office coat, and after dozing a little in his leather chair before the fire, he started out as usual for dinner in the Soho French restaurant, and began to dream himself away into the region of flowers and singing, and to commune with the Invisibles that were the very sources of his real life and being.
According to his usual routine, he managed to push all the unpleasant memories out of his mind by changing out of his office coat. After dozing a bit in his leather chair by the fire, he headed out as he always did for dinner at the French restaurant in Soho. There, he began to drift off into a world of flowers and music, connecting with the unseen forces that were the true essence of his life and existence.
For it was in this way that his mind worked, and the habits of years had crystallised into rigid lines along which it was now necessary and inevitable for him to act.
For this was how his mind operated, and the patterns of years had solidified into strict paths that he now had to follow.
At the door of the little restaurant he stopped short, a half-remembered appointment in his mind. He had made an engagement with some one, but where, or with whom, had entirely slipped his memory. He thought it was for dinner, or else to meet just after dinner, and for a second it came back to him that it had something to do with the office, but, whatever it was, he was quite unable to recall it, and a reference to his pocket engagement book showed only a blank page. Evidently he had even omitted to enter it; and after standing a moment vainly trying to recall either the time, place, or person, he went in and sat down.
At the door of the small restaurant, he suddenly stopped, a faint memory of an appointment lingering in his mind. He had made plans with someone, but he couldn’t remember where or with whom. He thought it was for dinner, or maybe to meet right after dinner, and for a brief moment, he remembered it was related to work, but he couldn’t recall any details. Checking his pocket calendar revealed only a blank page. Clearly, he hadn’t even written it down; after standing there for a moment, fruitlessly trying to remember the time, place, or person, he went inside and sat down.
But though the details had escaped him, his subconscious memory seemed to know all about it, for he experienced a sudden sinking of the heart, accompanied by a sense of foreboding anticipation, and felt that beneath his exhaustion there lay a centre of tremendous excitement. The emotion caused by the engagement was at work, and would presently cause the actual details of the appointment to reappear.
But even though he couldn't remember the details, his subconscious seemed to understand everything, as he suddenly felt a sinking feeling in his heart, mixed with a sense of anxious anticipation. He sensed that beneath his tiredness, there was a core of intense excitement. The feelings triggered by the engagement were active, and would soon bring the actual details of the appointment back to him.
Inside the restaurant the feeling increased, instead of passing: some one was waiting for him somewhere—some one whom he had definitely arranged to meet. He was expected by a person that very night and just about that very time. But by whom? Where? A curious inner trembling came over him, and he made a strong effort to hold himself in hand and to be ready for anything that might come.
Inside the restaurant, the feeling intensified instead of fading away: someone was waiting for him somewhere—someone he had definitely planned to meet. He was expected by someone that very night and around that exact time. But who? Where? A strange inner excitement washed over him, and he made a strong effort to keep himself composed and to be ready for anything that might happen.
And then suddenly came the knowledge that the place of appointment was this very restaurant, and, further, that the person he had promised to meet was already here, waiting somewhere quite close beside him.
And then suddenly he realized that the meeting spot was this very restaurant, and, moreover, that the person he was supposed to meet was already here, waiting not far from him.
He looked up nervously and began to examine the faces round him. The majority of the diners were Frenchmen, chattering loudly with much gesticulation and laughter; and there was a fair sprinkling of clerks like himself who came because the prices were low and the food good, but there was no single face that he recognised until his glance fell upon the occupant of the corner seat opposite, generally filled by himself.
He looked up anxiously and started to check out the faces around him. Most of the diners were French men, chatting loudly with a lot of gestures and laughter; there were also a good number of clerks like him who came because the prices were cheap and the food was good, but he didn’t recognize a single face until his eyes landed on the person sitting in the corner seat across from him, a spot he usually filled.
"There's the man who's waiting for me!" thought Jones instantly.
"There's the guy who's waiting for me!" thought Jones immediately.
He knew it at once. The man, he saw, was sitting well back into the corner, with a thick overcoat buttoned tightly up to the chin. His skin was very white, and a heavy black beard grew far up over his cheeks. At first the secretary took him for a stranger, but when he looked up and their eyes met, a sense of familiarity flashed across him, and for a second or two Jones imagined he was staring at a man he had known years before. For, barring the beard, it was the face of an elderly clerk who had occupied the next desk to his own when he first entered the service of the insurance company, and had shown him the most painstaking kindness and sympathy in the early difficulties of his work. But a moment later the illusion passed, for he remembered that Thorpe had been dead at least five years. The similarity of the eyes was obviously a mere suggestive trick of memory.
He recognized it immediately. The man was sitting deep in the corner, wearing a thick overcoat tightly buttoned up to his chin. His skin was very pale, and a heavy black beard grew high up on his cheeks. At first, the secretary thought he was a stranger, but when he looked up and their eyes met, a sense of familiarity washed over him, and for a second or two, Jones imagined he was looking at someone he had known years ago. Except for the beard, it was the face of an older clerk who had sat at the desk next to his when he first started working at the insurance company, and who had shown him great kindness and support during the early challenges of his job. But moments later, the illusion faded as he remembered that Thorpe had been dead for at least five years. The similarity in the eyes was clearly just a trick of memory.
The two men stared at one another for several seconds, and then Jones began to act instinctively, and because he had to. He crossed over and took the vacant seat at the other's table, facing him; for he felt it was somehow imperative to explain why he was late, and how it was he had almost forgotten the engagement altogether.
The two men looked at each other for a few seconds, and then Jones started to act on instinct, and because he had to. He walked over and took the empty seat at the other guy's table, facing him; he felt it was somehow necessary to explain why he was late and how he had almost forgotten about the meeting altogether.
No honest excuse, however, came to his assistance, though his mind had begun to work furiously.
No convincing excuse, however, came to his aid, even though his mind had started to race.
"Yes, you are late," said the man quietly, before he could find a single word to utter. "But it doesn't matter. Also, you had forgotten the appointment, but that makes no difference either."
"Yes, you are late," the man said softly, before he could come up with a single word to say. "But it’s fine. And you forgot the appointment, but that doesn't change anything either."
"I knew—that there was an engagement," Jones stammered, passing his hand over his forehead; "but somehow—"
"I knew that there was an engagement," Jones stuttered, running his hand over his forehead. "But somehow—"
"You will recall it presently," continued the other in a gentle voice, and smiling a little. "It was in deep sleep last night we arranged this, and the unpleasant occurrences of to-day have for the moment obliterated it."
"You'll remember it soon," the other said softly, smiling slightly. "We planned this in a deep sleep last night, and the unfortunate things that happened today have temporarily wiped it from your mind."
A faint memory stirred within him as the man spoke, and a grove of trees with moving forms hovered before his eyes and then vanished again, while for an instant the stranger seemed to be capable of self-distortion and to have assumed vast proportions, with wonderful flaming eyes.
A faint memory stirred within him as the man spoke, and a grove of trees with shifting shapes appeared before his eyes, only to disappear again. For a moment, the stranger looked like he could change his form, towering with incredible, fiery eyes.
"Oh!" he gasped. "It was there—in the other region?"
"Oh!" he gasped. "It was there—in the other area?"
"Of course," said the other, with a smile that illumined his whole face. "You will remember presently, all in good time, and meanwhile you have no cause to feel afraid."
"Of course," said the other, with a smile that lit up his whole face. "You'll remember soon enough, and for now, there's no reason for you to be afraid."
There was a wonderful soothing quality in the man's voice, like the whispering of a great wind, and the clerk felt calmer at once. They sat a little while longer, but he could not remember that they talked much or ate anything. He only recalled afterwards that the head waiter came up and whispered something in his ear, and that he glanced round and saw the other people were looking at him curiously, some of them laughing, and that his companion then got up and led the way out of the restaurant.
There was a wonderfully calming quality to the man's voice, like the gentle breeze of a strong wind, and the clerk instantly felt more at ease. They sat for a little while longer, but he couldn’t remember talking much or eating anything. He only remembered later that the head waiter came over and whispered something in his ear, and as he looked around, he noticed other people watching him with curiosity, some of them laughing. Then his companion stood up and led the way out of the restaurant.
They walked hurriedly through the streets, neither of them speaking; and Jones was so intent upon getting back the whole history of the affair from the region of deep sleep, that he barely noticed the way they took. Yet it was clear he knew where they were bound for just as well as his companion, for he crossed the streets often ahead of him, diving down alleys without hesitation, and the other followed always without correction.
They walked quickly through the streets, not saying a word; and Jones was so focused on piecing together the entire story of what had happened from the depths of sleep that he hardly noticed the path they were taking. Still, it was obvious he knew where they were headed just as well as his companion did, because he frequently crossed the streets ahead of him, darting down alleys without a second thought, and the other followed closely without question.
The pavements were very full, and the usual night crowds of London were surging to and fro in the glare of the shop lights, but somehow no one impeded their rapid movements, and they seemed to pass through the people as if they were smoke. And, as they went, the pedestrians and traffic grew less and less, and they soon passed the Mansion House and the deserted space in front of the Royal Exchange, and so on down Fenchurch Street and within sight of the Tower of London, rising dim and shadowy in the smoky air.
The sidewalks were packed, and the usual nightly crowds of London were flowing back and forth under the bright shop lights, but somehow no one got in the way of their quick movements, and they seemed to glide through the people like smoke. As they moved on, the number of pedestrians and vehicles decreased, and soon they passed the Mansion House and the empty area in front of the Royal Exchange, continuing down Fenchurch Street and catching a glimpse of the Tower of London, looming faintly and shadowy in the smoky air.
Jones remembered all this perfectly well, and thought it was his intense preoccupation that made the distance seem so short. But it was when the Tower was left behind and they turned northwards that he began to notice how altered everything was, and saw that they were in a neighbourhood where houses were suddenly scarce, and lanes and fields beginning, and that their only light was the stars overhead. And, as the deeper consciousness more and more asserted itself to the exclusion of the surface happenings of his mere body during the day, the sense of exhaustion vanished, and he realised that he was moving somewhere in the region of causes behind the veil, beyond the gross deceptions of the senses, and released from the clumsy spell of space and time.
Jones remembered all of this clearly and thought it was his intense focus that made the distance seem shorter. But it was when they left the Tower behind and headed north that he started to notice how everything had changed. He saw they were in a neighborhood where houses were suddenly rare, with lanes and fields starting to appear, and their only light was the stars above. As his deeper awareness increasingly took over, pushing aside the surface concerns of his body throughout the day, the feeling of exhaustion faded. He realized he was moving into a realm of underlying causes, beyond the misleading illusions of the senses, and freed from the heavy constraints of space and time.
Without great surprise, therefore, he turned and saw that his companion had altered, had shed his overcoat and black hat, and was moving beside him absolutely without sound. For a brief second he saw him, tall as a tree, extending through space like a great shadow, misty and wavering of outline, followed by a sound like wings in the darkness; but, when he stopped, fear clutching at his heart, the other resumed his former proportions, and Jones could plainly see his normal outline against the green field behind.
Without any real surprise, he turned and noticed that his companion had changed; he had taken off his overcoat and black hat, and was walking next to him completely silent. For a brief moment, he saw him, towering like a tree, spreading out through the air like a massive shadow, blurred and flickering at the edges, followed by a sound like wings in the dark; but when he stopped, fear gripping his heart, the other returned to his normal size, and Jones could clearly see his regular shape against the green field behind.
Then the secretary saw him fumbling at his neck, and at the same moment the black beard came away from the face in his hand.
Then the secretary saw him awkwardly touching his neck, and at the same moment, the black beard came off the face he was holding.
"Then you are Thorpe!" he gasped, yet somehow without overwhelming surprise.
"Then you are Thorpe!" he said, a little out of breath, but not really shocked.
They stood facing one another in the lonely lane, trees meeting overhead and hiding the stars, and a sound of mournful sighing among the branches.
They stood facing each other in the empty lane, trees meeting overhead and blocking out the stars, with a sound of sad sighing among the branches.
"I am Thorpe," was the answer in a voice that almost seemed part of the wind. "And I have come out of our far past to help you, for my debt to you is large, and in this life I had but small opportunity to repay."
"I am Thorpe," came the response in a voice that felt almost like it was carried by the wind. "I've come from our distant past to help you, because I owe you a lot, and in this life, I had little chance to pay you back."
Jones thought quickly of the man's kindness to him in the office, and a great wave of feeling surged through him as he began to remember dimly the friend by whose side he had already climbed, perhaps through vast ages of his soul's evolution.
Jones swiftly recalled the man's kindness to him at the office, and a powerful wave of emotion washed over him as he started to vaguely remember the friend he had once stood beside, maybe through countless ages of his soul's growth.
"To help me now?" he whispered.
"To help me now?" he whispered.
"You will understand me when you enter into your real memory and recall how great a debt I have to pay for old faithful kindnesses of long ago," sighed the other in a voice like falling wind.
"You'll get what I mean once you tap into your true memories and remember how much I owe for all the old kindnesses from back in the day," the other person sighed, their voice soft like a gentle breeze.
"Between us, though, there can be no question of debt," Jones heard himself saying, and remembered the reply that floated to him on the air and the smile that lightened for a moment the stern eyes facing him.
"Between us, though, there can be no question of debt," Jones heard himself saying, and remembered the reply that drifted to him on the air and the smile that briefly brightened the serious eyes looking at him.
"Not of debt, indeed, but of privilege."
"Not out of debt, really, but out of privilege."
Jones felt his heart leap out towards this man, this old friend, tried by centuries and still faithful. He made a movement to seize his hand. But the other shifted like a thing of mist, and for a moment the clerk's head swam and his eyes seemed to fail.
Jones felt his heart leap at the sight of this man, this old friend, tested by the ages and still loyal. He reached out to grab his hand. But the other shifted like a wisp of fog, and for a moment, the clerk's head spun, and his vision blurred.
"Then you are dead?" he said under his breath with a slight shiver.
"Then you are dead?" he said quietly with a slight shiver.
"Five years ago I left the body you knew," replied Thorpe. "I tried to help you then instinctively, not fully recognising you. But now I can accomplish far more."
"Five years ago I left the body you knew," Thorpe responded. "I tried to help you back then without completely understanding who you were. But now I can do so much more."
With an awful sense of foreboding and dread in his heart, the secretary was beginning to understand.
With a terrible sense of dread and unease in his heart, the secretary was starting to get it.
"It has to do with—with—?"
"It’s about—about—?"
"Your past dealings with the Manager," came the answer, as the wind rose louder among the branches overhead and carried off the remainder of the sentence into the air.
"Your previous interactions with the Manager," came the reply, as the wind picked up among the branches overhead and swept the rest of the sentence away into the air.
Jones's memory, which was just beginning to stir among the deepest layers of all, shut down suddenly with a snap, and he followed his companion over fields and down sweet-smelling lanes where the air was fragrant and cool, till they came to a large house, standing gaunt and lonely in the shadows at the edge of a wood. It was wrapped in utter stillness, with windows heavily draped in black, and the clerk, as he looked, felt such an overpowering wave of sadness invade him that his eyes began to burn and smart, and he was conscious of a desire to shed tears.
Jones's memory, which was just starting to wake up from the deepest parts of his mind, suddenly snapped shut, and he followed his friend over fields and along sweet-smelling paths where the air was fresh and cool, until they reached a large house, standing stark and lonely in the shadows at the edge of a forest. It was wrapped in complete silence, with windows heavily covered in black, and the clerk, as he looked, felt an overwhelming wave of sadness wash over him, making his eyes burn and sting, and he felt a strong urge to cry.
The key made a harsh noise as it turned in the lock, and when the door swung open into a lofty hall they heard a confused sound of rustling and whispering, as of a great throng of people pressing forward to meet them. The air seemed full of swaying movement, and Jones was certain he saw hands held aloft and dim faces claiming recognition, while in his heart, already oppressed by the approaching burden of vast accumulated memories, he was aware of the uncoiling of something that had been asleep for ages.
The key made a loud noise as it turned in the lock, and when the door opened into a high hall, they heard a mix of rustling and whispering, like a huge crowd of people pushing forward to greet them. The air felt alive with movement, and Jones was sure he saw hands raised and dim faces looking for recognition, while in his heart, already weighed down by the growing burden of countless memories, he sensed the uncoiling of something that had been dormant for ages.
As they advanced he heard the doors close with a muffled thunder behind them, and saw that the shadows seemed to retreat and shrink away towards the interior of the house, carrying the hands and faces with them. He heard the wind singing round the walls and over the roof, and its wailing voice mingled with the sound of deep, collective breathing that filled the house like the murmur of a sea; and as they walked up the broad staircase and through the vaulted rooms, where pillars rose like the stems of trees, he knew that the building was crowded, row upon row, with the thronging memories of his own long past.
As they moved forward, he heard the doors slam shut behind them with a dull thud and noticed that the shadows seemed to pull back and shrink into the house, taking the hands and faces with them. He heard the wind whistling around the walls and across the roof, and its haunting voice blended with the sound of deep, collective breathing that filled the house like the murmur of the ocean; and as they climbed the wide staircase and wandered through the arched rooms, where pillars stood like tree trunks, he realized that the building was packed, row after row, with the bustling memories of his distant past.
"This is the House of the Past," whispered Thorpe beside him, as they moved silently from room to room; "the house of your past. It is full from cellar to roof with the memories of what you have done, thought, and felt from the earliest stages of your evolution until now.
"This is the House of the Past," Thorpe whispered beside him as they moved quietly from room to room. "It's the house of your past. It's packed from the basement to the roof with the memories of everything you've done, thought, and felt from the very beginning of your journey until now."
"The house climbs up almost to the clouds, and stretches back into the heart of the wood you saw outside, but the remoter halls are filled with the ghosts of ages ago too many to count, and even if we were able to waken them you could not remember them now. Some day, though, they will come and claim you, and you must know them, and answer their questions, for they can never rest till they have exhausted themselves again through you, and justice has been perfectly worked out.
"The house rises nearly to the clouds and extends deep into the woods you saw outside, but the more distant rooms are filled with the spirits of countless ages, and even if we managed to wake them, you wouldn't remember them now. Someday, though, they will come and find you, and you will have to know them and answer their questions, because they can never find peace until they’ve played out their stories through you, and justice has been fully served."
"But now follow me closely, and you shall see the particular memory for which I am permitted to be your guide, so that you may know and understand a great force in your present life, and may use the sword of justice, or rise to the level of a great forgiveness, according to your degree of power."
"But now pay attention, and you will see the specific memory I'm allowed to share with you, so that you can recognize and understand a significant influence in your current life, and learn to wield the sword of justice, or elevate yourself to a state of great forgiveness, depending on your level of strength."
Icy thrills ran through the trembling clerk, and as he walked slowly beside his companion he heard from the vaults below, as well as from more distant regions of the vast building, the stirring and sighing of the serried ranks of sleepers, sounding in the still air like a chord swept from unseen strings stretched somewhere among the very foundations of the house.
Icy chills ran through the trembling clerk, and as he walked slowly next to his companion, he heard from the vaults below, as well as from farther away in the huge building, the stirring and sighing of the tightly packed sleepers, echoing in the still air like a chord played from invisible strings stretched somewhere deep within the very foundations of the house.
Stealthily, picking their way among the great pillars, they moved up the sweeping staircase and through several dark corridors and halls, and presently stopped outside a small door in an archway where the shadows were very deep.
Stealthily, picking their way among the large pillars, they made their way up the wide staircase and through several dark corridors and halls, and soon stopped outside a small door in an archway where the shadows were very deep.
"Remain close by my side, and remember to utter no cry," whispered the voice of his guide, and as the clerk turned to reply he saw his face was stern to whiteness and even shone a little in the darkness.
"Stay close to me, and remember not to make any noise," whispered his guide. As the clerk turned to respond, he noticed that his guide's face was pale and even glowed slightly in the darkness.
The room they entered seemed at first to be pitchy black, but gradually the secretary perceived a faint reddish glow against the farther end, and thought he saw figures moving silently to and fro.
The room they walked into appeared completely dark at first, but gradually the secretary noticed a faint reddish glow at the far end and thought he saw figures moving quietly back and forth.
"Now watch!" whispered Thorpe, as they pressed close to the wall near the door and waited. "But remember to keep absolute silence. It is a torture scene."
"Now watch!" Thorpe whispered as they huddled against the wall near the door, waiting. "But make sure to stay completely silent. This is a torture scene."
Jones felt utterly afraid, and would have turned to fly if he dared, for an indescribable terror seized him and his knees shook; but some power that made escape impossible held him remorselessly there, and with eyes glued on the spots of light he crouched against the wall and waited.
Jones felt completely terrified, and would have run away if he could, because an overwhelming fear gripped him and his knees trembled; but some force that made escape impossible kept him stuck there, and with his eyes fixed on the lights, he crouched against the wall and waited.
The figures began to move more swiftly, each in its own dim light that shed no radiance beyond itself, and he heard a soft clanking of chains and the voice of a man groaning in pain. Then came the sound of a door closing, and thereafter Jones saw but one figure, the figure of an old man, naked entirely, and fastened with chains to an iron framework on the floor. His memory gave a sudden leap of fear as he looked, for the features and white beard were familiar, and he recalled them as though of yesterday.
The figures started to move faster, each in its own dim light that didn't shine beyond itself, and he heard a quiet clinking of chains along with a man groaning in pain. Then there was the sound of a door closing, and after that, Jones saw just one figure, an old man, completely naked and chained to an iron framework on the floor. A wave of fear shot through him as he looked, because the features and white beard were familiar, recalling them as if from just yesterday.
The other figures had disappeared, and the old man became the centre of the terrible picture. Slowly, with ghastly groans; as the heat below him increased into a steady glow, the aged body rose in a curve of agony, resting on the iron frame only where the chains held wrists and ankles fast. Cries and gasps filled the air, and Jones felt exactly as though they came from his own throat, and as if the chains were burning into his own wrists and ankles, and the heat scorching the skin and flesh upon his own back. He began to writhe and twist himself.
The other figures had vanished, and the old man became the focus of the horrifying scene. Slowly, with chilling groans, as the heat beneath him intensified into a constant glow, his frail body arched in pain, supported by the iron frame only where the chains clamped down on his wrists and ankles. Cries and gasps filled the air, and Jones felt as if those sounds were coming from his own throat, as if the chains were searing into his own wrists and ankles, and the heat was burning his skin and flesh on his back. He started to writhe and twist.
"Spain!" whispered the voice at his side, "and four hundred years ago."
"Spain!" whispered the voice next to him, "and four hundred years ago."
"And the purpose?" gasped the perspiring clerk, though he knew quite well what the answer must be.
"And the purpose?" gasped the sweating clerk, even though he knew exactly what the answer had to be.
"To extort the name of a friend, to his death and betrayal," came the reply through the darkness.
"To force out the name of a friend, leading to his death and betrayal," came the reply through the darkness.
A sliding panel opened with a little rattle in the wall immediately above the rack, and a face, framed in the same red glow, appeared and looked down upon the dying victim. Jones was only just able to choke a scream, for he recognised the tall dark man of his dreams. With horrible, gloating eyes he gazed down upon the writhing form of the old man, and his lips moved as in speaking, though no words were actually audible.
A sliding panel opened with a slight rattle in the wall right above the rack, and a face, bathed in the same red light, appeared and looked down at the dying man. Jones barely managed to suppress a scream because he recognized the tall dark man from his dreams. With a disturbing, triumphant gaze, he stared down at the writhing figure of the old man, and his lips moved as if he were speaking, although no words were actually heard.
"He asks again for the name," explained the other, as the clerk struggled with the intense hatred and loathing that threatened every moment to result in screams and action. His ankles and wrists pained him so that he could scarcely keep still, but a merciless power held him to the scene.
"He asks again for the name," the other explained, while the clerk fought against the overwhelming hatred and disgust that almost erupted into screams and chaos at any moment. His ankles and wrists ached so badly that he could barely stay still, but an unyielding force kept him stuck in that situation.
He saw the old man, with a fierce cry, raise his tortured head and spit up into the face at the panel, and then the shutter slid back again, and a moment later the increased glow beneath the body, accompanied by awful writhing, told of the application of further heat. There came the odour of burning flesh; the white beard curled and burned to a crisp; the body fell back limp upon the red-hot iron, and then shot up again in fresh agony; cry after cry, the most awful in the world, rang out with deadened sound between the four walls; and again the panel slid back creaking, and revealed the dreadful face of the torturer.
He saw the old man let out a fierce scream as he lifted his tortured head and spat into the face of the panel. Then the shutter slid back again, and a moment later, the increased glow beneath the body, along with terrible writhing, indicated that more heat was being applied. The smell of burning flesh filled the air; the white beard curled and scorched to a crisp; the body fell back limply onto the red-hot iron, only to shoot up again in fresh agony. Scream after scream, the most horrifying in the world, echoed with muffled sound between the four walls; and once more, the panel creaked open, revealing the dreadful face of the torturer.
Again the name was asked for, and again it was refused; and this time, after the closing of the panel, a door opened, and the tall thin man with the evil face came slowly into the chamber. His features were savage with rage and disappointment, and in the dull red glow that fell upon them he looked like a very prince of devils. In his hand he held a pointed iron at white heat.
Again, they asked for the name, and again it was denied; and this time, after the panel closed, a door opened, and the tall, thin man with the sinister face entered the room slowly. His expression was filled with rage and disappointment, and in the dull red light that illuminated his features, he resembled a true prince of darkness. In his hand, he held a pointed iron glowing bright white.
"Now the murder!" came from Thorpe in a whisper that sounded as if it was outside the building and far away.
"Now the murder!" Thorpe whispered, his voice sounding like it came from outside the building and far away.
Jones knew quite well what was coming, but was unable even to close his eyes. He felt all the fearful pains himself just as though he were actually the sufferer; but now, as he stared, he felt something more besides; and when the tall man deliberately approached the rack and plunged the heated iron first into one eye and then into the other, he heard the faint fizzing of it, and felt his own eyes burst in frightful pain from his head. At the same moment, unable longer to control himself, he uttered a wild shriek and dashed forward to seize the torturer and tear him to a thousand pieces. Instantly, in a flash, the entire scene vanished; darkness rushed in to fill the room, and he felt himself lifted off his feet by some force like a great wind and borne swiftly away into space.
Jones knew exactly what was about to happen, but he couldn't even close his eyes. He experienced all the terrifying pain as if he were the one suffering; but now, as he watched, he felt something more. When the tall man purposefully walked up to the rack and plunged the heated iron into one eye and then the other, he heard the faint sizzling sound and felt his own eyes bursting from his head in excruciating pain. At that moment, unable to hold back any longer, he let out a wild scream and lunged forward to grab the torturer and tear him to pieces. In an instant, the entire scene disappeared; darkness flooded the room, and he felt himself being lifted off his feet by a force like a strong wind, quickly whisked away into the void.
When he recovered his senses he was standing just outside the house and the figure of Thorpe was beside him in the gloom. The great doors were in the act of closing behind him, but before they shut he fancied he caught a glimpse of an immense veiled figure standing upon the threshold, with flaming eyes, and in his hand a bright weapon like a shining sword of fire.
When he regained his senses, he found himself standing just outside the house, with Thorpe’s figure beside him in the shadows. The massive doors were in the process of closing behind him, but before they shut completely, he thought he saw a huge veiled figure standing in the doorway, with blazing eyes, holding a bright weapon that looked like a gleaming sword of fire.
"Come quickly now—all is over!" Thorpe whispered.
"Come quickly now—all is done!" Thorpe whispered.
"And the dark man—?" gasped the clerk, as he moved swiftly by the other's side.
"And what about the dark man?" the clerk gasped, quickly moving alongside the other person.
"In this present life is the Manager of the company."
"In this present life, the company's manager."
"And the victim?"
"And the victim?"
"Was yourself!"
"Be yourself!"
"And the friend he—I refused to betray?"
"And the friend he—I refused to betray?"
"I was that friend," answered Thorpe, his voice with every moment sounding more and more like the cry of the wind. "You gave your life in agony to save mine."
"I was that friend," Thorpe replied, his voice increasingly resembling the sound of the wind. "You sacrificed yourself in pain to save me."
"And again, in this life, we have all three been together?"
"And once more, in this life, we have all three been together?"
"Yes. Such forces are not soon or easily exhausted, and justice is not satisfied till all have reaped what they sowed."
"Yes. These forces aren't quickly or easily drained, and justice isn't fulfilled until everyone has faced the consequences of their actions."
Jones had an odd feeling that he was slipping away into some other state of consciousness. Thorpe began to seem unreal. Presently he would be unable to ask more questions. He felt utterly sick and faint with it all, and his strength was ebbing.
Jones had a strange feeling that he was drifting off into another state of awareness. Thorpe started to feel unreal. Soon, he wouldn't be able to ask any more questions. He felt completely nauseous and weak from it all, and his energy was fading.
"Oh, quick!" he cried, "now tell me more. Why did I see this? What must I do?"
"Oh, hurry!" he shouted, "now tell me more. Why did I see this? What should I do?"
The wind swept across the field on their right and entered the wood beyond with a great roar, and the air round him seemed filled with voices and the rushing of hurried movement.
The wind blew across the field on their right and rushed into the woods beyond with a loud roar, and the air around him felt filled with voices and the sounds of frantic movement.
"To the ends of justice," answered the other, as though speaking out of the centre of the wind and from a distance, "which sometimes is entrusted to the hands of those who suffered and were strong. One wrong cannot be put right by another wrong, but your life has been so worthy that the opportunity is given to—"
"To achieve justice," replied the other, as if speaking from the heart of the storm and from afar, "which is sometimes entrusted to those who have endured and shown strength. One wrong can't be fixed by another wrong, but your life has been so valuable that the chance is offered to—"
The voice grew fainter and fainter, already it was far overhead with the rushing wind.
The voice grew softer and softer, already high above with the rushing wind.
"You may punish or—" Here Jones lost sight of Thorpe's figure altogether, for he seemed to have vanished and melted away into the wood behind him. His voice sounded far across the trees, very weak, and ever rising.
"You can punish or—" Here Jones lost sight of Thorpe entirely, as he seemed to have disappeared and blended into the woods behind him. His voice drifted faintly across the trees, very weak, and continually rising.
"Or if you can rise to the level of a great forgiveness—"
"Or if you can reach the level of a great forgiveness—"
The voice became inaudible.... The wind came crying out of the wood again.
The voice faded away.... The wind swept through the woods, howling once more.
Jones shivered and stared about him. He shook himself violently and rubbed his eyes. The room was dark, the fire was out; he felt cold and stiff. He got up out of his armchair, still trembling, and lit the gas. Outside the wind was howling, and when he looked at his watch he saw that it was very late and he must go to bed.
Jones shivered and looked around. He shook himself hard and rubbed his eyes. The room was dark, the fire was out; he felt cold and stiff. He got up from his armchair, still trembling, and turned on the gas. Outside, the wind was howling, and when he checked his watch, he saw it was really late, and he needed to go to bed.
He had not even changed his office coat; he must have fallen asleep in the chair as soon as he came in, and he had slept for several hours. Certainly he had eaten no dinner, for he felt ravenous.
He hadn't even taken off his office coat; he must have dozed off in the chair as soon as he got in, and he'd been asleep for several hours. He definitely hadn't had any dinner, because he felt starving.
III
Next day, and for several weeks thereafter, the business of the office went on as usual, and Jones did his work well and behaved outwardly with perfect propriety. No more visions troubled him, and his relations with the Manager became, if anything, somewhat smoother and easier.
Next day, and for several weeks afterward, the office routine continued as normal, and Jones did his job well and behaved perfectly properly on the surface. He was no longer troubled by visions, and his relationship with the Manager became, if anything, a bit smoother and easier.
True, the man looked a little different, because the clerk kept seeing him with his inner and outer eye promiscuously, so that one moment he was broad and red-faced, and the next he was tall, thin, and dark, enveloped, as it were, in a sort of black atmosphere tinged with red. While at times a confusion of the two sights took place, and Jones saw the two faces mingled in a composite countenance that was very horrible indeed to contemplate. But, beyond this occasional change in the outward appearance of the Manager, there was nothing that the secretary noticed as the result of his vision, and business went on more or less as before, and perhaps even with a little less friction.
True, the man looked a bit different because the clerk kept seeing him with both his inner and outer eye mixed up, so one moment he was broad and red-faced, and the next he was tall, thin, and dark, wrapped, so to speak, in a sort of black atmosphere tinged with red. Sometimes there was a confusing overlap of the two images, and Jones saw the two faces combined into a composite expression that was really quite disturbing to look at. But besides this occasional change in the Manager's appearance, there was nothing else that the secretary noticed as a result of his vision, and business proceeded pretty much as usual, maybe even with a little less friction.
But in the rooms under the roof in Bloomsbury it was different, for there it was perfectly clear to Jones that Thorpe had come to take up his abode with him. He never saw him, but he knew all the time he was there. Every night on returning from his work he was greeted by the well-known whisper, "Be ready when I give the sign!" and often in the night he woke up suddenly out of deep sleep and was aware that Thorpe had that minute moved away from his bed and was standing waiting and watching somewhere in the darkness of the room. Often he followed him down the stairs, though the dim gas jet on the landings never revealed his outline; and sometimes he did not come into the room at all, but hovered outside the window, peering through the dirty panes, or sending his whisper into the chamber in the whistling of the wind.
But in the rooms under the roof in Bloomsbury, things were different. It was clear to Jones that Thorpe had come to live with him. He never actually saw him, but he felt his presence all the time. Every night, when he returned from work, he was welcomed by the familiar whisper, "Be ready when I give the sign!" and often, in the middle of the night, he would wake up suddenly from a deep sleep and realize that Thorpe had just moved away from his bed and was standing somewhere in the darkness of the room, waiting and watching. He often followed him down the stairs, even though the weak gas light on the landings never showed his outline; sometimes, he didn't even come into the room but lingered outside the window, looking through the dirty glass, or sending his whisper into the room with the wind's whistle.
For Thorpe had come to stay, and Jones knew that he would not get rid of him until he had fulfilled the ends of justice and accomplished the purpose for which he was waiting.
For Thorpe had come to stay, and Jones knew that he wouldn’t be able to get rid of him until he had served justice and achieved the reason for his presence.
Meanwhile, as the days passed, he went through a tremendous struggle with himself, and came to the perfectly honest decision that the "level of a great forgiveness" was impossible for him, and that he must therefore accept the alternative and use the secret knowledge placed in his hands—and execute justice. And once this decision was arrived at, he noticed that Thorpe no longer left him alone during the day as before, but now accompanied him to the office and stayed more or less at his side all through business hours as well. His whisper made itself heard in the streets and in the train, and even in the Manager's room where he worked; sometimes warning, sometimes urging, but never for a moment suggesting the abandonment of the main purpose, and more than once so plainly audible that the clerk felt certain others must have heard it as well as himself.
Meanwhile, as the days went by, he struggled a lot with himself and came to the honest conclusion that the "level of great forgiveness" was impossible for him, and therefore he had to accept the alternative and use the secret knowledge he had—and deliver justice. Once he made this decision, he noticed that Thorpe no longer left him alone during the day like before, but now accompanied him to the office and stayed by his side throughout business hours as well. His whispers could be heard on the streets and in the train, and even in the Manager's room where he worked; sometimes warning, sometimes urging, but never suggesting to abandon the main goal, and more than once it was so clearly audible that the clerk felt sure others must have heard it as well.
The obsession was complete. He felt he was always under Thorpe's eye day and night, and he knew he must acquit himself like a man when the moment came, or prove a failure in his own sight as well in the sight of the other.
The obsession was all-consuming. He felt like he was always under Thorpe's watch, day and night, and he knew he had to prove himself like a man when the time came, or he'd be a failure not only in his own eyes but also in the eyes of others.
And now that his mind was made up, nothing could prevent the carrying out of the sentence. He bought a pistol, and spent his Saturday afternoons practising at a target in lonely places along the Essex shore, marking out in the sand the exact measurements of the Manager's room. Sundays he occupied in like fashion, putting up at an inn overnight for the purpose, spending the money that usually went into the savings bank on travelling expenses and cartridges. Everything was done very thoroughly, for there must be no possibility of failure; and at the end of several weeks he had become so expert with his six-shooter that at a distance of 25 feet, which was the greatest length of the Manager's room, he could pick the inside out of a halfpenny nine times out of a dozen, and leave a clean, unbroken rim.
And now that he had made up his mind, nothing could stop him from going through with it. He bought a pistol and spent his Saturday afternoons practicing at a target in secluded spots along the Essex coast, marking out in the sand the exact dimensions of the Manager's room. He spent his Sundays in a similar way, staying overnight at an inn for this purpose and using the money that typically went into his savings for travel expenses and cartridges. Everything was done very thoroughly because he couldn’t afford to fail; after several weeks, he became so skilled with his six-shooter that at a distance of 25 feet, the length of the Manager's room, he could hit the inside of a halfpenny nine times out of twelve, leaving a clean, unbroken rim.
There was not the slightest desire to delay. He had thought the matter over from every point of view his mind could reach, and his purpose was inflexible. Indeed, he felt proud to think that he had been chosen as the instrument of justice in the infliction of so well-deserved and so terrible a punishment. Vengeance may have had some part in his decision, but he could not help that, for he still felt at times the hot chains burning his wrists and ankles with fierce agony through to the bone. He remembered the hideous pain of his slowly roasting back, and the point when he thought death must intervene to end his suffering, but instead new powers of endurance had surged up in him, and awful further stretches of pain had opened up, and unconsciousness seemed farther off than ever. Then at last the hot irons in his eyes.... It all came back to him, and caused him to break out in icy perspiration at the mere thought of it ... the vile face at the panel ... the expression of the dark face.... His fingers worked. His blood boiled. It was utterly impossible to keep the idea of vengeance altogether out of his mind.
There was no desire to hesitate. He had thought about the situation from every angle his mind could grasp, and his decision was unwavering. In fact, he felt a sense of pride in being chosen as the tool of justice to deliver such a deserved and severe punishment. Revenge might have played a role in his choice, but he couldn't help it, as he still sometimes felt the searing chains burning his wrists and ankles with intense pain down to the bone. He remembered the terrible agony of his painfully roasting back, and the moment when he thought death must come to end his suffering, yet instead, new powers of endurance had surged within him, and even more terrible stretches of pain had opened up, making unconsciousness feel farther away than ever. Then finally the hot irons in his eyes... It all flooded back to him, causing him to break out in cold sweat at just the thought of it... the horrid face at the panel... the expression of that dark face... His fingers moved. His blood boiled. It was absolutely impossible to keep thoughts of revenge out of his mind.
Several times he was temporarily baulked of his prey. Odd things happened to stop him when he was on the point of action. The first day, for instance, the Manager fainted from the heat. Another time when he had decided to do the deed, the Manager did not come down to the office at all. And a third time, when his hand was actually in his hip pocket, he suddenly heard Thorpe's horrid whisper telling him to wait, and turning, he saw that the head cashier had entered the room noiselessly without his noticing it. Thorpe evidently knew what he was about, and did not intend to let the clerk bungle the matter.
Several times he was briefly interrupted from getting what he wanted. Weird things happened just as he was about to take action. On the first day, for example, the Manager fainted from the heat. Another time, when he was ready to go through with it, the Manager didn’t come down to the office at all. And a third time, when his hand was actually in his pocket, he suddenly heard Thorpe's nasty whisper telling him to wait, and when he turned, he saw that the head cashier had slipped into the room quietly without him noticing. Thorpe clearly knew what he was doing and wasn’t going to let the clerk mess it up.
He fancied, moreover, that the head cashier was watching him. He was always meeting him in unexpected corners and places, and the cashier never seemed to have an adequate excuse for being there. His movements seemed suddenly of particular interest to others in the office as well, for clerks were always being sent to ask him unnecessary questions, and there was apparently a general design to keep him under a sort of surveillance, so that he was never much alone with the Manager in the private room where they worked. And once the cashier had even gone so far as to suggest that he could take his holiday earlier than usual if he liked, as the work had been very arduous of late and the heat exceedingly trying.
He thought, too, that the head cashier was keeping an eye on him. He kept running into him in unexpected spots, and the cashier never seemed to have a good reason for being there. His actions also appeared to attract the interest of others in the office, as clerks were constantly being sent to ask him pointless questions, and it seemed like there was a collective effort to keep him under a sort of watch, so he was hardly ever alone with the Manager in the private room where they worked. One time, the cashier even suggested that he could take his vacation earlier than usual if he wanted, since the work had been very demanding lately and the heat was extremely tough to deal with.
He noticed, too, that he was sometimes followed by a certain individual in the streets, a careless-looking sort of man, who never came face to face with him, or actually ran into him, but who was always in his train or omnibus, and whose eye he often caught observing him over the top of his newspaper, and who on one occasion was even waiting at the door of his lodgings when he came out to dine.
He also noticed that he was occasionally followed by a guy in the streets, someone who looked a bit disheveled. This guy never confronted him directly or bumped into him, but he was always in the same area, on the same bus, and he often caught the guy watching him from over the top of his newspaper. One time, he even found him waiting at the door of his apartment when he stepped out to grab dinner.
There were other indications too, of various sorts, that led him to think something was at work to defeat his purpose, and that he must act at once before these hostile forces could prevent.
There were also other signs, of different kinds, that made him believe something was going on to thwart his plans, and that he needed to take action immediately before these opposing forces could stop him.
And so the end came very swiftly, and was thoroughly approved by Thorpe.
And so the end came quickly and was completely approved by Thorpe.
It was towards the close of July, and one of the hottest days London had ever known, for the City was like an oven, and the particles of dust seemed to burn the throats of the unfortunate toilers in street and office. The portly Manager, who suffered cruelly owing to his size, came down perspiring and gasping with the heat. He carried a light-coloured umbrella to protect his head.
It was late July, and one of the hottest days London had ever experienced. The city felt like an oven, with dust particles making it hard for the unfortunate workers in the streets and offices to breathe. The heavyset Manager, who was really struggling because of the heat, came down sweating and gasping. He was carrying a light-colored umbrella to shield his head.
"He'll want something more than that, though!" Jones laughed quietly to himself when he saw him enter.
"He'll want more than that, though!" Jones chuckled quietly to himself when he saw him walk in.
The pistol was safely in his hip pocket, every one of its six chambers loaded.
The pistol was securely in his hip pocket, each of its six chambers loaded.
The Manager saw the smile on his face, and gave him a long steady look as he sat down to his desk in the corner. A few minutes later he touched the bell for the head cashier—a single ring—and then asked Jones to fetch some papers from another safe in the room upstairs.
The Manager noticed the smile on his face and gave him a long, steady look as he sat down at his desk in the corner. A few minutes later, he rang the bell for the head cashier—a single ring—and then asked Jones to get some papers from another safe in the room upstairs.
A deep inner trembling seized the secretary as he noticed these precautions, for he saw that the hostile forces were at work against him, and yet he felt he could delay no longer and must act that very morning, interference or no interference. However, he went obediently up in the lift to the next floor, and while fumbling with the combination of the safe, known only to himself, the cashier, and the Manager, he again heard Thorpe's horrid whisper just behind him:
A deep inner tremor gripped the secretary as he noticed these precautions, realizing that hostile forces were working against him. Still, he felt he couldn’t wait any longer and needed to act that very morning, interference or not. However, he obediently took the elevator to the next floor, and while he fumbled with the safe's combination, known only to him, the cashier, and the Manager, he again heard Thorpe's awful whisper right behind him:
"You must do it to-day! You must do it to-day!"
"You have to do it today! You have to do it today!"
He came down again with the papers, and found the Manager alone. The room was like a furnace, and a wave of dead heated air met him in the face as he went in. The moment he passed the doorway he realised that he had been the subject of conversation between the head cashier and his enemy. They had been discussing him. Perhaps an inkling of his secret had somehow got into their minds. They had been watching him for days past. They had become suspicious.
He came back downstairs with the papers and found the Manager alone. The room felt like a furnace, and a wave of stale, hot air hit him as he entered. The moment he stepped through the doorway, he realized that he had been the topic of conversation between the head cashier and his rival. They had been discussing him. Maybe a hint of his secret had somehow entered their minds. They had been watching him for days. They had become suspicious.
Clearly, he must act now, or let the opportunity slip by perhaps for ever. He heard Thorpe's voice in his ear, but this time it was no mere whisper, but a plain human voice, speaking out loud.
Clearly, he has to act now, or risk letting the opportunity pass him by, possibly forever. He heard Thorpe's voice in his ear, but this time it was no longer just a whisper; it was a clear human voice, speaking out loud.
"Now!" it said. "Do it now!"
"Now!" it said. "Do it now!"
The room was empty. Only the Manager and himself were in it.
The room was empty. Only the Manager and he were in it.
Jones turned from his desk where he had been standing, and locked the door leading into the main office. He saw the army of clerks scribbling in their shirt-sleeves, for the upper half of the door was of glass. He had perfect control of himself, and his heart was beating steadily.
Jones turned away from his desk where he had been standing and locked the door to the main office. He saw a bunch of clerks taking notes in their shirt sleeves, since the top half of the door was made of glass. He was completely in control and his heart was beating steadily.
The Manager, hearing the key turn in the lock, looked up sharply.
The manager, hearing the key turn in the lock, looked up quickly.
"What's that you're doing?" he asked quickly.
"What's that you're doing?" he asked quickly.
"Only locking the door, sir," replied the secretary in a quite even voice.
"Just locking the door, sir," replied the secretary in a calm voice.
"Why? Who told you to—?"
"Why? Who told you to—?"
"The voice of Justice, sir," replied Jones, looking steadily into the hated face.
"The voice of Justice, sir," Jones replied, staring unwaveringly at the loathed face.
The Manager looked black for a moment, and stared angrily across the room at him. Then suddenly his expression changed as he stared, and he tried to smile. It was meant to be a kind smile evidently, but it only succeeded in being frightened.
The Manager looked furious for a moment and glared angrily across the room at him. Then suddenly his expression changed as he continued to stare, and he tried to smile. It was supposed to be a kind smile, but it just came off as creepy.
"That is a good idea in this weather," he said lightly, "but it would be much better to lock it on the outside, wouldn't it, Mr. Jones?"
"That's a good idea in this weather," he said casually, "but it would be much better to lock it on the outside, wouldn't it, Mr. Jones?"
"I think not, sir. You might escape me then. Now you can't."
"I don't think so, sir. You might be able to get away from me then. But right now, you can't."
Jones took his pistol out and pointed it at the other's face. Down the barrel he saw the features of the tall dark man, evil and sinister. Then the outline trembled a little and the face of the Manager slipped back into its place. It was white as death, and shining with perspiration.
Jones took out his gun and aimed it at the other man's face. Down the barrel, he saw the features of the tall, dark man, looking evil and sinister. Then the outline shook a bit, and the Manager's face slipped back into view. It was pale as death and glistening with sweat.
"You tortured me to death four hundred years ago," said the clerk in the same steady voice, "and now the dispensers of justice have chosen me to punish you."
"You tortured me to death four hundred years ago," said the clerk in the same steady voice, "and now the enforcers of justice have chosen me to punish you."
The Manager's face turned to flame, and then back to chalk again. He made a quick movement towards the telephone bell, stretching out a hand to reach it, but at the same moment Jones pulled the trigger and the wrist was shattered, splashing the wall behind with blood.
The manager's face turned red with anger, then pale again. He quickly reached for the telephone, but just then, Jones pulled the trigger, shattering his wrist and splattering blood on the wall behind him.
"That's one place where the chains burnt," he said quietly to himself. His hand was absolutely steady, and he felt that he was a hero.
"That's one place where the chains burned," he said quietly to himself. His hand was completely steady, and he felt like a hero.
The Manager was on his feet, with a scream of pain, supporting himself with his right hand on the desk in front of him, but Jones pressed the trigger again, and a bullet flew into the other wrist, so that the big man, deprived of support, fell forward with a crash on to the desk.
The Manager was standing up, screaming in pain, propping himself up with his right hand on the desk in front of him, but Jones pulled the trigger again, and a bullet hit his other wrist, causing the big man to lose his support and crash forward onto the desk.
"You damned madman!" shrieked the Manager. "Drop that pistol!"
"You crazy idiot!" yelled the Manager. "Put that gun down!"
"That's another place," was all Jones said, still taking careful aim for another shot.
"That’s another place," Jones said simply, still carefully aiming for another shot.
The big man, screaming and blundering, scrambled beneath the desk, making frantic efforts to hide, but the secretary took a step forward and fired two shots in quick succession into his projecting legs, hitting first one ankle and then the other, and smashing them horribly.
The big guy, yelling and stumbling, scrambled under the desk, trying desperately to hide, but the secretary stepped forward and fired two shots in quick succession into his visible legs, first hitting one ankle and then the other, and shattering them horribly.
"Two more places where the chains burnt," he said, going a little nearer.
"Two more spots where the chains burned," he said, stepping a bit closer.
The Manager, still shrieking, tried desperately to squeeze his bulk behind the shelter of the opening beneath the desk, but he was far too large, and his bald head protruded through on the other side. Jones caught him by the scruff of his great neck and dragged him yelping out on to the carpet. He was covered with blood, and flopped helplessly upon his broken wrists.
The Manager, still screaming, desperately tried to squeeze his large body behind the opening under the desk, but he was way too big, and his bald head stuck out on the other side. Jones grabbed him by the collar and yanked him out onto the carpet, making him yelp. He was covered in blood and flopped helplessly on his broken wrists.
"Be quick now!" cried the voice of Thorpe.
" Hurry up!" shouted Thorpe's voice.
There was a tremendous commotion and banging at the door, and Jones gripped his pistol tightly. Something seemed to crash through his brain, clearing it for a second, so that he thought he saw beside him a great veiled figure, with drawn sword and flaming eyes, and sternly approving attitude.
There was a loud commotion and banging at the door, and Jones held his pistol tightly. Something seemed to hit him like a bolt, clearing his mind for a moment, so that he thought he saw next to him a large veiled figure, with a drawn sword and burning eyes, looking at him with a sternly approving attitude.
"Remember the eyes! Remember the eyes!" hissed Thorpe in the air above him.
"Remember the eyes! Remember the eyes!" Thorpe hissed in the air above him.
Jones felt like a god, with a god's power. Vengeance disappeared from his mind. He was acting impersonally as an instrument in the hands of the Invisibles who dispense justice and balance accounts. He bent down and put the barrel close into the other's face, smiling a little as he saw the childish efforts of the arms to cover his head. Then he pulled the trigger, and a bullet went straight into the right eye, blackening the skin. Moving the pistol two inches the other way, he sent another bullet crashing into the left eye. Then he stood upright over his victim with a deep sigh of satisfaction.
Jones felt like a god, wielding god-like power. Vengeance faded from his mind. He was acting without personal interest as a tool in the hands of the Invisibles who deliver justice and settle scores. He leaned down and aimed the barrel close to the other person's face, smirking slightly as he noticed their childish attempts to shield their head. Then he pulled the trigger, and a bullet struck directly into the right eye, causing the skin to blacken. Shifting the pistol a couple of inches the other way, he fired another bullet that smashed into the left eye. Then he stood over his victim with a deep sigh of satisfaction.
The Manager wriggled convulsively for the space of a single second, and then lay still in death.
The Manager twitched for a moment, and then lay still in death.
There was not a moment to lose, for the door was already broken in and violent hands were at his neck. Jones put the pistol to his temple and once more pressed the trigger with his finger.
There wasn’t a second to spare, because the door was already kicked in and rough hands were around his neck. Jones pressed the gun to his head and once again pulled the trigger with his finger.
But this time there was no report. Only a little dead click answered the pressure, for the secretary had forgotten that the pistol had only six chambers, and that he had used them all. He threw the useless weapon on to the floor, laughing a little out loud, and turned, without a struggle, to give himself up.
But this time there was no sound. Only a small dead click responded to the trigger pull, because the secretary had forgotten that the gun had only six chambers, and that he had used them all. He tossed the useless weapon onto the floor, chuckling a bit, and turned himself in without putting up a fight.
"I had to do it," he said quietly, while they tied him. "It was simply my duty! And now I am ready to face the consequences, and Thorpe will be proud of me. For justice has been done and the gods are satisfied."
"I had to do it," he said quietly as they tied him up. "It was just my duty! And now I'm ready to face the consequences, and Thorpe will be proud of me. Justice has been served, and the gods are satisfied."
He made not the slightest resistance, and when the two policemen marched him off through the crowd of shuddering little clerks in the office, he again saw the veiled figure moving majestically in front of him, making slow sweeping circles with the flaming sword, to keep back the host of faces that were thronging in upon him from the Other Region.
He didn’t resist at all, and as the two policemen escorted him through the crowd of trembling little clerks in the office, he saw the veiled figure moving gracefully ahead of him, making slow sweeping circles with the flaming sword to keep away the swarm of faces pressing in on him from the Other Region.
The Man Who Found Out
(A Nightmare)
1
Professor Mark Ebor, the scientist, led a double life, and the only persons who knew it were his assistant, Dr. Laidlaw, and his publishers. But a double life need not always be a bad one, and, as Dr. Laidlaw and the gratified publishers well knew, the parallel lives of this particular man were equally good, and indefinitely produced would certainly have ended in a heaven somewhere that can suitably contain such strangely opposite characteristics as his remarkable personality combined.
Professor Mark Ebor, the scientist, lived a double life, and the only people who knew about it were his assistant, Dr. Laidlaw, and his publishers. But a double life doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and, as Dr. Laidlaw and the pleased publishers knew well, the two sides of this particular man were equally positive, and if he had continued to live like this indefinitely, it would likely have resulted in a paradise somewhere that could appropriately hold such uniquely contrasting traits as his remarkable personality combined.
For Mark Ebor, F.R.S., etc., etc., was that unique combination hardly ever met with in actual life, a man of science and a mystic.
For Mark Ebor, F.R.S., etc., etc., was that rare combination rarely seen in real life, a scientist and a mystic.
As the first, his name stood in the gallery of the great, and as the second—but there came the mystery! For under the pseudonym of "Pilgrim" (the author of that brilliant series of books that appealed to so many), his identity was as well concealed as that of the anonymous writer of the weather reports in a daily newspaper. Thousands read the sanguine, optimistic, stimulating little books that issued annually from the pen of "Pilgrim," and thousands bore their daily burdens better for having read; while the Press generally agreed that the author, besides being an incorrigible enthusiast and optimist, was also—a woman; but no one ever succeeded in penetrating the veil of anonymity and discovering that "Pilgrim" and the biologist were one and the same person.
As the first, his name was among the greats, and as the second—but here’s the mystery! Under the pen name "Pilgrim" (the author of that amazing series of books that resonated with so many), his identity was as hidden as that of the unknown writer of weather reports in a daily newspaper. Thousands read the hopeful, cheerful, and inspiring little books that came out every year from "Pilgrim," and countless people dealt with their daily struggles better after reading them; while the Press generally agreed that the author, besides being an unrelenting enthusiast and optimist, was also—a woman; but no one ever managed to uncover the secret and realize that "Pilgrim" and the biologist were the same person.
Mark Ebor, as Dr. Laidlaw knew him in his laboratory, was one man; but Mark Ebor, as he sometimes saw him after work was over, with rapt eyes and ecstatic face, discussing the possibilities of "union with God" and the future of the human race, was quite another.
Mark Ebor, as Dr. Laidlaw knew him in his lab, was one person; but Mark Ebor, as he sometimes saw him after work was done, with sparkling eyes and an ecstatic expression, talking about the possibilities of "union with God" and the future of humanity, was something entirely different.
"I have always held, as you know," he was saying one evening as he sat in the little study beyond the laboratory with his assistant and intimate, "that Vision should play a large part in the life of the awakened man—not to be regarded as infallible, of course, but to be observed and made use of as a guide-post to possibilities—"
"I've always believed, as you know," he was saying one evening as he sat in the small study next to the lab with his assistant and close friend, "that Vision should play a significant role in the life of an awakened person—not to be seen as infallible, of course, but to be observed and used as a guide to possibilities—"
"I am aware of your peculiar views, sir," the young doctor put in deferentially, yet with a certain impatience.
"I know about your unusual views, sir," the young doctor said respectfully, but with a hint of impatience.
"For Visions come from a region of the consciousness where observation and experiment are out of the question," pursued the other with enthusiasm, not noticing the interruption, "and, while they should be checked by reason afterwards, they should not be laughed at or ignored. All inspiration, I hold, is of the nature of interior Vision, and all our best knowledge has come—such is my confirmed belief—as a sudden revelation to the brain prepared to receive it—"
"For visions come from a part of the mind where observation and experimentation aren't possible," the other person continued enthusiastically, not noticing the interruption, "and while they should be evaluated with reason later, they shouldn't be laughed at or dismissed. I believe that all inspiration is a kind of inner vision, and all our best knowledge has emerged—as I firmly believe—through a sudden revelation to a mind that is ready to accept it—"
"Prepared by hard work first, by concentration, by the closest possible study of ordinary phenomena," Dr. Laidlaw allowed himself to observe.
"Prepared through hard work first, through focus, and by studying ordinary phenomena as closely as possible," Dr. Laidlaw noted.
"Perhaps," sighed the other; "but by a process, none the less, of spiritual illumination. The best match in the world will not light a candle unless the wick be first suitably prepared."
"Maybe," sighed the other; "but still, it’s a process of spiritual enlightenment. The best match in the world won't light a candle unless the wick is properly prepared first."
It was Laidlaw's turn to sigh. He knew so well the impossibility of arguing with his chief when he was in the regions of the mystic, but at the same time the respect he felt for his tremendous attainments was so sincere that he always listened with attention and deference, wondering how far the great man would go and to what end this curious combination of logic and "illumination" would eventually lead him.
It was Laidlaw's turn to sigh. He knew all too well how pointless it was to argue with his boss when he was in a mystical mood, but at the same time, his genuine respect for the man's incredible achievements made him listen attentively and respectfully, curious about how far the great man would take it and where this strange mix of logic and "enlightenment" would ultimately lead.
"Only last night," continued the elder man, a sort of light coming into his rugged features, "the vision came to me again—the one that has haunted me at intervals ever since my youth, and that will not be denied."
"Just last night," the older man went on, a kind of light entering his weathered face, "the vision came to me again—the one that's haunted me off and on since I was young, and that won't be ignored."
Dr. Laidlaw fidgeted in his chair.
Dr. Laidlaw shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"About the Tablets of the Gods, you mean—and that they lie somewhere hidden in the sands," he said patiently. A sudden gleam of interest came into his face as he turned to catch the professor's reply.
"About the Tablets of the Gods, you mean—and that they’re hidden somewhere in the sands," he said patiently. A sudden spark of interest appeared on his face as he turned to hear the professor's response.
"And that I am to be the one to find them, to decipher them, and to give the great knowledge to the world—"
"And I’m the one who has to find them, figure them out, and share the great knowledge with the world—"
"Who will not believe," laughed Laidlaw shortly, yet interested in spite of his thinly-veiled contempt.
"Who wouldn't believe that?" laughed Laidlaw briefly, though he was intrigued despite his barely hidden disdain.
"Because even the keenest minds, in the right sense of the word, are hopelessly—unscientific," replied the other gently, his face positively aglow with the memory of his vision. "Yet what is more likely," he continued after a moment's pause, peering into space with rapt eyes that saw things too wonderful for exact language to describe, "than that there should have been given to man in the first ages of the world some record of the purpose and problem that had been set him to solve? In a word," he cried, fixing his shining eyes upon the face of his perplexed assistant, "that God's messengers in the far-off ages should have given to His creatures some full statement of the secret of the world, of the secret of the soul, of the meaning of life and death—the explanation of our being here, and to what great end we are destined in the ultimate fullness of things?"
"Because even the brightest minds, in the right context, are hopelessly unscientific," replied the other gently, his face glowing with the memory of his vision. "Yet what’s more likely," he continued after a brief pause, gazing into space with rapt eyes that saw things too amazing for exact words to capture, "than that in the early ages of the world, humanity was given some record of the purpose and problem we were meant to solve? In other words," he exclaimed, locking his bright eyes onto the face of his puzzled assistant, "that God’s messengers in ancient times should have shared with us a complete understanding of the world’s mysteries, the secret of the soul, the meaning of life and death—the explanation of why we are here and the great purpose we are destined for in the grand scheme of things?"
Dr. Laidlaw sat speechless. These outbursts of mystical enthusiasm he had witnessed before. With any other man he would not have listened to a single sentence, but to Professor Ebor, man of knowledge and profound investigator, he listened with respect, because he regarded this condition as temporary and pathological, and in some sense a reaction from the intense strain of the prolonged mental concentration of many days.
Dr. Laidlaw sat in silence. He had seen these bursts of mystical enthusiasm before. With anyone else, he wouldn't have paid attention to a single word, but with Professor Ebor, a knowledgeable and deep investigator, he listened with respect. He viewed this state as temporary and abnormal, and in a way, as a response to the intense stress of days spent in deep concentration.
He smiled, with something between sympathy and resignation as he met the other's rapt gaze.
He smiled, caught between sympathy and resignation as he met the other person's intense gaze.
"But you have said, sir, at other times, that you consider the ultimate secrets to be screened from all possible—"
"But you have said, sir, at other times, that you think the ultimate secrets should be kept hidden from all possible—"
"The ultimate secrets, yes," came the unperturbed reply; "but that there lies buried somewhere an indestructible record of the secret meaning of life, originally known to men in the days of their pristine innocence, I am convinced. And, by this strange vision so often vouchsafed to me, I am equally sure that one day it shall be given to me to announce to a weary world this glorious and terrific message."
"The ultimate secrets, yes," came the calm reply; "but I am convinced that there is an indestructible record of the secret meaning of life buried somewhere, originally known to people in their days of pure innocence. And through this strange vision I often receive, I am equally sure that one day I will be able to share this amazing and awe-inspiring message with a tired world."
And he continued at great length and in glowing language to describe the species of vivid dream that had come to him at intervals since earliest childhood, showing in detail how he discovered these very Tablets of the Gods, and proclaimed their splendid contents—whose precise nature was always, however, withheld from him in the vision—to a patient and suffering humanity.
And he went on for a long time, using exciting language to talk about the kind of vivid dreams he had experienced since he was a child. He explained in detail how he found these very Tablets of the Gods and shared their amazing contents—though the exact details were always kept from him during the vision—with a patient and suffering humanity.
"The Scrutator, sir, well described 'Pilgrim' as the Apostle of Hope," said the young doctor gently, when he had finished; "and now, if that reviewer could hear you speak and realize from what strange depths comes your simple faith—"
"The Scrutator, sir, described 'Pilgrim' as the Apostle of Hope," the young doctor said gently after he finished, "and now, if that reviewer could hear you speak and understand the unusual depths from which your simple faith comes—"
The professor held up his hand, and the smile of a little child broke over his face like sunshine in the morning.
The professor raised his hand, and a child's smile spread across his face like morning sunshine.
"Half the good my books do would be instantly destroyed," he said sadly; "they would say that I wrote with my tongue in my cheek. But wait," he added significantly; "wait till I find these Tablets of the Gods! Wait till I hold the solutions of the old world-problems in my hands! Wait till the light of this new revelation breaks upon confused humanity, and it wakes to find its bravest hopes justified! Ah, then, my dear Laidlaw—"
"Half the good my books do would be instantly destroyed," he said sadly; "they would claim I wrote with sarcasm. But wait," he added importantly; "wait until I discover these Tablets of the Gods! Wait until I have the solutions to the ancient world's problems in my hands! Wait until the light of this new revelation shines on confused humanity, and they wake up to find their boldest hopes validated! Ah, then, my dear Laidlaw—"
He broke off suddenly; but the doctor, cleverly guessing the thought in his mind, caught him up immediately.
He suddenly stopped speaking, but the doctor, quickly understanding what he was thinking, jumped in right away.
"Perhaps this very summer," he said, trying hard to make the suggestion keep pace with honesty; "in your explorations in Assyria—your digging in the remote civilization of what was once Chaldea, you may find—what you dream of—"
"Maybe this summer," he said, trying hard to stay truthful; "during your explorations in Assyria—your digging in the ancient civilization of what used to be Chaldea, you might discover—what you’ve been dreaming of—"
The professor held up his hand, and the smile of a fine old face.
The professor raised his hand, smiling with his kind, aging features.
"Perhaps," he murmured softly, "perhaps!"
"Maybe," he whispered softly, "maybe!"
And the young doctor, thanking the gods of science that his leader's aberrations were of so harmless a character, went home strong in the certitude of his knowledge of externals, proud that he was able to refer his visions to self-suggestion, and wondering complaisantly whether in his old age he might not after all suffer himself from visitations of the very kind that afflicted his respected chief.
And the young doctor, grateful to the gods of science that his leader's quirks were so harmless, went home confident in his knowledge of the outside world, proud that he could attribute his visions to self-suggestion, and wondering casually if, in his old age, he might end up experiencing the same issues that troubled his respected chief.
And as he got into bed and thought again of his master's rugged face, and finely shaped head, and the deep lines traced by years of work and self-discipline, he turned over on his pillow and fell asleep with a sigh that was half of wonder, half of regret.
And as he got into bed and thought once more about his master's rough face, well-defined head, and the deep lines created by years of hard work and self-discipline, he turned over on his pillow and fell asleep with a sigh that was part wonder, part regret.
2
It was in February, nine months later, when Dr. Laidlaw made his way to Charing Cross to meet his chief after his long absence of travel and exploration. The vision about the so-called Tablets of the Gods had meanwhile passed almost entirely from his memory.
It was in February, nine months later, when Dr. Laidlaw headed to Charing Cross to meet his boss after a lengthy trip. The idea of the so-called Tablets of the Gods had almost completely faded from his memory in the meantime.
There were few people in the train, for the stream of traffic was now running the other way, and he had no difficulty in finding the man he had come to meet. The shock of white hair beneath the low-crowned felt hat was alone enough to distinguish him by easily.
There were only a few people on the train since the flow of traffic was now going in the opposite direction, and he had no trouble spotting the man he was there to meet. The shock of white hair under the low-crowned felt hat was enough to easily identify him.
"Here I am at last!" exclaimed the professor, somewhat wearily, clasping his friend's hand as he listened to the young doctor's warm greetings and questions. "Here I am—a little older, and much dirtier than when you last saw me!" He glanced down laughingly at his travel-stained garments.
"Here I am at last!" the professor said, a bit tired, shaking his friend's hand as he listened to the young doctor's enthusiastic greetings and questions. "Here I am—slightly older and way dirtier than when you last saw me!" He looked down and laughed at his travel-stained clothes.
"And much wiser," said Laidlaw, with a smile, as he bustled about the platform for porters and gave his chief the latest scientific news.
"And way wiser," said Laidlaw, smiling as he moved around the platform for porters and shared the latest scientific news with his boss.
At last they came down to practical considerations.
At last, they got down to practical matters.
"And your luggage—where is that? You must have tons of it, I suppose?" said Laidlaw.
"And your luggage—where is it? You must have a lot of it, I guess?" said Laidlaw.
"Hardly anything," Professor Ebor answered. "Nothing, in fact, but what you see."
"Not much," Professor Ebor replied. "Actually, just what you see."
"Nothing but this hand-bag?" laughed the other, thinking he was joking.
"Is this really just a handbag?" laughed the other, thinking he was joking.
"And a small portmanteau in the van," was the quiet reply. "I have no other luggage."
"And a small suitcase in the van," was the quiet reply. "I have no other luggage."
"You have no other luggage?" repeated Laidlaw, turning sharply to see if he were in earnest.
"You don't have any other luggage?" Laidlaw asked again, turning quickly to check if he was serious.
"Why should I need more?" the professor added simply.
"Why should I need more?" the professor said plainly.
Something in the man's face, or voice, or manner—the doctor hardly knew which—suddenly struck him as strange. There was a change in him, a change so profound—so little on the surface, that is—that at first he had not become aware of it. For a moment it was as though an utterly alien personality stood before him in that noisy, bustling throng. Here, in all the homely, friendly turmoil of a Charing Cross crowd, a curious feeling of cold passed over his heart, touching his life with icy finger, so that he actually trembled and felt afraid.
Something about the man's face, voice, or manner— the doctor couldn't tell which— suddenly seemed odd to him. There was a change in him, a change so deep—so subtle on the surface—that at first he hadn’t noticed it. For a moment, it felt like an entirely foreign personality was standing before him in that loud, busy crowd. Here, amid the familiar, friendly chaos of a Charing Cross crowd, a strange chill swept over him, touching his life with an icy finger, causing him to actually shake and feel scared.
He looked up quickly at his friend, his mind working with startled and unwelcome thoughts.
He quickly looked up at his friend, his mind racing with surprising and unwanted thoughts.
"Only this?" he repeated, indicating the bag. "But where's all the stuff you went away with? And—have you brought nothing home—no treasures?"
"Is this it?" he repeated, pointing at the bag. "But where's everything you took with you? And—didn't you bring anything back—not even any treasures?"
"This is all I have," the other said briefly. The pale smile that went with the words caused the doctor a second indescribable sensation of uneasiness. Something was very wrong, something was very queer; he wondered now that he had not noticed it sooner.
"This is all I have," the other replied tersely. The faint smile that accompanied the words gave the doctor a second, indescribable feeling of unease. Something was seriously wrong, something felt off; he wondered why he hadn't noticed it earlier.
"The rest follows, of course, by slow freight," he added tactfully, and as naturally as possible. "But come, sir, you must be tired and in want of food after your long journey. I'll get a taxi at once, and we can see about the other luggage afterwards."
"The rest will come later, of course," he added tactfully, trying to keep it natural. "But come on, sir, you must be tired and hungry after your long trip. I'll grab a taxi right away, and we can deal with the other luggage later."
It seemed to him he hardly knew quite what he was saying; the change in his friend had come upon him so suddenly and now grew upon him more and more distressingly. Yet he could not make out exactly in what it consisted. A terrible suspicion began to take shape in his mind, troubling him dreadfully.
It felt to him like he barely knew what he was saying; his friend's change had happened so suddenly and was now weighing on him more and more distressingly. Yet he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. A disturbing suspicion started to form in his mind, worrying him greatly.
"I am neither very tired, nor in need of food, thank you," the professor said quietly. "And this is all I have. There is no luggage to follow. I have brought home nothing—nothing but what you see."
"I’m not really tired or hungry, thanks," the professor said quietly. "This is all I have. There’s no luggage coming later. I didn’t bring anything back—nothing but what you see."
His words conveyed finality. They got into a taxi, tipped the porter, who had been staring in amazement at the venerable figure of the scientist, and were conveyed slowly and noisily to the house in the north of London where the laboratory was, the scene of their labours of years.
His words left no room for doubt. They hopped into a taxi, tipped the porter, who had been watching in awe at the aging scientist, and were driven slowly and loudly to the house in north London where the laboratory was, the site of their years of work.
And the whole way Professor Ebor uttered no word, nor did Dr. Laidlaw find the courage to ask a single question.
And the entire time, Professor Ebor said nothing, and Dr. Laidlaw didn't have the courage to ask even one question.
It was only late that night, before he took his departure, as the two men were standing before the fire in the study—that study where they had discussed so many problems of vital and absorbing interest—that Dr. Laidlaw at last found strength to come to the point with direct questions. The professor had been giving him a superficial and desultory account of his travels, of his journeys by camel, of his encampments among the mountains and in the desert, and of his explorations among the buried temples, and, deeper, into the waste of the pre-historic sands, when suddenly the doctor came to the desired point with a kind of nervous rush, almost like a frightened boy.
It was only late that night, before he left, while the two men were standing by the fire in the study—where they had talked about so many important and engaging issues—that Dr. Laidlaw finally found the courage to ask direct questions. The professor had been giving him a casual and scattered account of his travels, his journeys by camel, his camping experiences in the mountains and the desert, and his explorations of buried temples and deeper into the prehistoric sands, when suddenly the doctor blurted out what he wanted to know with a kind of nervous urgency, almost like a scared kid.
"And you found—" he began stammering, looking hard at the other's dreadfully altered face, from which every line of hope and cheerfulness seemed to have been obliterated as a sponge wipes markings from a slate—"you found—"
"And you found—" he started stuttering, staring intensely at the other person's horrifically changed face, from which every trace of hope and happiness seemed to have been erased like a sponge cleans markings off a slate—"you found—"
"I found," replied the other, in a solemn voice, and it was the voice of the mystic rather than the man of science—"I found what I went to seek. The vision never once failed me. It led me straight to the place like a star in the heavens. I found—the Tablets of the Gods."
"I found," replied the other, in a serious tone, and it was more the voice of a mystic than a scientist—"I found what I was looking for. The vision never let me down. It guided me directly to the location like a star in the sky. I found—the Tablets of the Gods."
Dr. Laidlaw caught his breath, and steadied himself on the back of a chair. The words fell like particles of ice upon his heart. For the first time the professor had uttered the well-known phrase without the glow of light and wonder in his face that always accompanied it.
Dr. Laidlaw caught his breath and steadied himself on the back of a chair. The words hit him like particles of ice on his heart. For the first time, the professor had said the familiar phrase without the usual glow of light and wonder on his face that always accompanied it.
"You have—brought them?" he faltered.
"You brought them?" he faltered.
"I have brought them home," said the other, in a voice with a ring like iron; "and I have—deciphered them."
"I've brought them home," said the other, in a voice that sounded like metal; "and I've—figured them out."
Profound despair, the bloom of outer darkness, the dead sound of a hopeless soul freezing in the utter cold of space seemed to fill in the pauses between the brief sentences. A silence followed, during which Dr. Laidlaw saw nothing but the white face before him alternately fade and return. And it was like the face of a dead man.
Profound despair, the bloom of outer darkness, the dead sound of a hopeless soul freezing in the utter cold of space seemed to fill the pauses between the brief sentences. A silence followed, during which Dr. Laidlaw saw nothing but the white face before him alternately fade and return. And it was like the face of a dead man.
"They are, alas, indestructible," he heard the voice continue, with its even, metallic ring.
"They are, unfortunately, indestructible," he heard the voice continue, with its steady, metallic tone.
"Indestructible," Laidlaw repeated mechanically, hardly knowing what he was saying.
"Indestructible," Laidlaw repeated automatically, barely aware of what he was saying.
Again a silence of several minutes passed, during which, with a creeping cold about his heart, he stood and stared into the eyes of the man he had known and loved so long—aye, and worshipped, too; the man who had first opened his own eyes when they were blind, and had led him to the gates of knowledge, and no little distance along the difficult path beyond; the man who, in another direction, had passed on the strength of his faith into the hearts of thousands by his books.
Again, a silence of several minutes passed, during which, with a creeping cold in his heart, he stood and stared into the eyes of the man he had known and loved for so long—yes, and worshipped too; the man who had first opened his eyes when they were blind and had guided him to the gates of knowledge, and a good way along the challenging path beyond; the man who, in another way, had passed on the strength of his faith into the hearts of thousands through his books.
"I may see them?" he asked at last, in a low voice he hardly recognized as his own. "You will let me know—their message?"
"I can see them?" he asked finally, in a quiet voice he barely recognized as his own. "You’ll let me know—their message?"
Professor Ebor kept his eyes fixedly upon his assistant's face as he answered, with a smile that was more like the grin of death than a living human smile.
Professor Ebor kept his gaze locked on his assistant's face as he replied, with a smile that was more akin to a death grin than a genuine human smile.
"When I am gone," he whispered; "when I have passed away. Then you shall find them and read the translation I have made. And then, too, in your turn, you must try, with the latest resources of science at your disposal to aid you, to compass their utter destruction." He paused a moment, and his face grew pale as the face of a corpse. "Until that time," he added presently, without looking up, "I must ask you not to refer to the subject again—and to keep my confidence meanwhile—ab—so—lute—ly."
"When I'm gone," he whispered, "when I've passed away. Then you will find them and read the translation I've made. And then, in your turn, you must also try, with the latest scientific resources at your disposal to help you, to ensure their complete destruction." He paused for a moment, and his face turned as pale as a corpse. "Until then," he added quietly, without looking up, "I need you not to bring this up again—and to keep my confidence meanwhile—ab—so—lute—ly."
3
A year passed slowly by, and at the end of it Dr. Laidlaw had found it necessary to sever his working connexion with his friend and one-time leader. Professor Ebor was no longer the same man. The light had gone out of his life; the laboratory was closed; he no longer put pen to paper or applied his mind to a single problem. In the short space of a few months he had passed from a hale and hearty man of late middle life to the condition of old age—a man collapsed and on the edge of dissolution. Death, it was plain, lay waiting for him in the shadows of any day—and he knew it.
A year went by slowly, and by the end of it, Dr. Laidlaw felt it was necessary to end his professional relationship with his friend and former mentor. Professor Ebor was no longer the same person. The spark had vanished from his life; the lab was shut down; he no longer wrote or engaged with any problems. In just a few months, he had gone from a strong and healthy man in his late middle age to someone who seemed to be in the grips of old age—a man who had collapsed and was on the brink of giving up. It was clear that death was lurking in the shadows, ready to take him at any moment—and he was aware of it.
To describe faithfully the nature of this profound alteration in his character and temperament is not easy, but Dr. Laidlaw summed it up to himself in three words: Loss of Hope. The splendid mental powers remained indeed undimmed, but the incentive to use them—to use them for the help of others—had gone. The character still held to its fine and unselfish habits of years, but the far goal to which they had been the leading strings had faded away. The desire for knowledge—knowledge for its own sake—had died, and the passionate hope which hitherto had animated with tireless energy the heart and brain of this splendidly equipped intellect had suffered total eclipse. The central fires had gone out. Nothing was worth doing, thinking, working for. There was nothing to work for any longer!
Describing the profound change in his character and temperament is challenging, but Dr. Laidlaw summed it up in three words: Loss of Hope. His remarkable mental abilities remained sharp, but the motivation to use them—to help others—was gone. His character still adhered to its admirable and selfless habits developed over the years, but the distant goals that had guided those habits had faded. The desire for knowledge—knowledge for its own sake—had vanished, and the passionate hope that had previously fueled the heart and mind of this brilliant intellect had completely disappeared. The inner spark had extinguished. Nothing felt worth doing, thinking, or working for. There was nothing left to strive for!
The professor's first step was to recall as many of his books as possible; his second to close his laboratory and stop all research. He gave no explanation, he invited no questions. His whole personality crumbled away, so to speak, till his daily life became a mere mechanical process of clothing the body, feeding the body, keeping it in good health so as to avoid physical discomfort, and, above all, doing nothing that could interfere with sleep. The professor did everything he could to lengthen the hours of sleep, and therefore of forgetfulness.
The professor's first move was to collect as many of his books as he could; his second was to shut down his lab and halt all research. He offered no explanation and welcomed no questions. His entire personality seemed to disintegrate, turning his daily routine into a simple mechanical process of dressing, eating, and maintaining his health to avoid any physical discomfort, and, most importantly, doing nothing that might disrupt his sleep. The professor did everything possible to extend his hours of sleep, and thus, his hours of forgetfulness.
It was all clear enough to Dr. Laidlaw. A weaker man, he knew, would have sought to lose himself in one form or another of sensual indulgence—sleeping-draughts, drink, the first pleasures that came to hand. Self-destruction would have been the method of a little bolder type; and deliberate evil-doing, poisoning with his awful knowledge all he could, the means of still another kind of man. Mark Ebor was none of these. He held himself under fine control, facing silently and without complaint the terrible facts he honestly believed himself to have been unfortunate enough to discover. Even to his intimate friend and assistant, Dr. Laidlaw, he vouchsafed no word of true explanation or lament. He went straight forward to the end, knowing well that the end was not very far away.
It was all clear enough to Dr. Laidlaw. A weaker man, he knew, would have tried to escape into some form of pleasure—sleeping pills, alcohol, whatever satisfaction was within reach. Self-destruction would have been the choice of a bolder type; and intentionally doing harm, spreading his dreadful knowledge as far as he could, would be the method of yet another kind of man. Mark Ebor was none of these. He maintained tight control, facing the horrible truths he honestly believed he had been unlucky enough to uncover, silently and without complaint. Even to his close friend and assistant, Dr. Laidlaw, he offered no words of real explanation or regret. He moved forward resolutely, fully aware that the end was not far off.
And death came very quietly one day to him, as he was sitting in the arm-chair of the study, directly facing the doors of the laboratory—the doors that no longer opened. Dr. Laidlaw, by happy chance, was with him at the time, and just able to reach his side in response to the sudden painful efforts for breath; just in time, too, to catch the murmured words that fell from the pallid lips like a message from the other side of the grave.
And one day, death came quietly to him while he was sitting in the armchair of the study, right in front of the laboratory doors—the doors that no longer opened. Dr. Laidlaw happened to be with him at that moment and was just able to reach his side in response to the sudden, painful struggles for breath; just in time, too, to hear the whispered words that slipped from his pale lips like a message from beyond the grave.
"Read them, if you must; and, if you can—destroy. But"—his voice sank so low that Dr. Laidlaw only just caught the dying syllables—"but—never, never—give them to the world."
"Read them, if you have to; and, if you’re able—destroy. But"—his voice fell so low that Dr. Laidlaw could barely catch the fading words—"but—never, ever—give them to the world."
And like a grey bundle of dust loosely gathered up in an old garment the professor sank back into his chair and expired.
And like a grey bundle of dust loosely gathered up in an old piece of clothing, the professor sank back into his chair and died.
But this was only the death of the body. His spirit had died two years before.
But this was just the end of the body. His spirit had died two years earlier.
4
The estate of the dead man was small and uncomplicated, and Dr. Laidlaw, as sole executor and residuary legatee, had no difficulty in settling it up. A month after the funeral he was sitting alone in his upstairs library, the last sad duties completed, and his mind full of poignant memories and regrets for the loss of a friend he had revered and loved, and to whom his debt was so incalculably great. The last two years, indeed, had been for him terrible. To watch the swift decay of the greatest combination of heart and brain he had ever known, and to realize he was powerless to help, was a source of profound grief to him that would remain to the end of his days.
The deceased man's estate was small and straightforward, and Dr. Laidlaw, as the sole executor and main beneficiary, had no trouble settling it. A month after the funeral, he sat alone in his upstairs library, having completed the last sad tasks, his mind filled with bittersweet memories and regrets over the loss of a friend he had admired and loved, to whom he owed an immeasurable debt. The last two years had been particularly difficult for him. Watching the rapid decline of the most extraordinary combination of heart and intellect he had ever known, while feeling powerless to help, caused him deep sorrow that would stay with him for the rest of his life.
At the same time an insatiable curiosity possessed him. The study of dementia was, of course, outside his special province as a specialist, but he knew enough of it to understand how small a matter might be the actual cause of how great an illusion, and he had been devoured from the very beginning by a ceaseless and increasing anxiety to know what the professor had found in the sands of "Chaldea," what these precious Tablets of the Gods might be, and particularly—for this was the real cause that had sapped the man's sanity and hope—what the inscription was that he had believed to have deciphered thereon.
At the same time, he was filled with an unquenchable curiosity. The study of dementia wasn’t really his area of expertise, but he understood enough to realize how a minor detail could lead to a huge misconception. From the very start, he had been consumed by an ever-growing anxiety to find out what the professor discovered in the sands of "Chaldea," what these valuable Tablets of the Gods could be, and especially—this was the main reason that had drained the man's sanity and hope— what the inscription was that he thought he had deciphered on them.
The curious feature of it all to his own mind was, that whereas his friend had dreamed of finding a message of glorious hope and comfort, he had apparently found (so far as he had found anything intelligible at all, and not invented the whole thing in his dementia) that the secret of the world, and the meaning of life and death, was of so terrible a nature that it robbed the heart of courage and the soul of hope. What, then, could be the contents of the little brown parcel the professor had bequeathed to him with his pregnant dying sentences?
The strange thing for him was that while his friend had imagined he would uncover a message full of hope and comfort, he seemed to have discovered (assuming he truly found anything clear and didn’t just make it all up in his madness) that the secret of the world, and the meaning of life and death, was so horrifying that it drained courage from the heart and hope from the soul. So, what could be inside the little brown parcel that the professor had left him with his significant last words?
Actually his hand was trembling as he turned to the writing-table and began slowly to unfasten a small old-fashioned desk on which the small gilt initials "M.E." stood forth as a melancholy memento. He put the key into the lock and half turned it. Then, suddenly, he stopped and looked about him. Was that a sound at the back of the room? It was just as though someone had laughed and then tried to smother the laugh with a cough. A slight shiver ran over him as he stood listening.
Actually, his hand was shaking as he turned to the writing table and slowly started to undo a small old-fashioned desk with the little gold initials "M.E." standing out as a sad reminder. He inserted the key into the lock and partially turned it. Then suddenly, he paused and scanned the room. Was that a sound coming from the back? It was like someone had laughed and then tried to cover it up with a cough. A slight shiver went down his spine as he stood there, listening.
"This is absurd," he said aloud; "too absurd for belief—that I should be so nervous! It's the effect of curiosity unduly prolonged." He smiled a little sadly and his eyes wandered to the blue summer sky and the plane trees swaying in the wind below his window. "It's the reaction," he continued. "The curiosity of two years to be quenched in a single moment! The nervous tension, of course, must be considerable."
"This is ridiculous," he said out loud; "too ridiculous to believe—that I should be this nervous! It's the result of curiosity dragged out for too long." He smiled a bit sadly, and his eyes drifted to the blue summer sky and the plane trees swaying in the wind outside his window. "It's the aftermath," he continued. "Two years of curiosity to be satisfied in a single moment! The nervous tension, of course, must be significant."
He turned back to the brown desk and opened it without further delay. His hand was firm now, and he took out the paper parcel that lay inside without a tremor. It was heavy. A moment later there lay on the table before him a couple of weather-worn plaques of grey stone—they looked like stone, although they felt like metal—on which he saw markings of a curious character that might have been the mere tracings of natural forces through the ages, or, equally well, the half-obliterated hieroglyphics cut upon their surface in past centuries by the more or less untutored hand of a common scribe.
He turned back to the brown desk and opened it without wasting any time. His hand was steady now, and he pulled out the paper package that was inside without shaking. It was heavy. A moment later, there were a couple of weathered grey stone plaques laying on the table in front of him—they looked like stone, even though they felt like metal—onto which he saw markings of an unusual kind that could have been just the patterns made by natural forces over time, or, just as easily, the faded hieroglyphics carved into their surface in centuries past by the somewhat untrained hand of an ordinary scribe.
He lifted each stone in turn and examined it carefully. It seemed to him that a faint glow of heat passed from the substance into his skin, and he put them down again suddenly, as with a gesture of uneasiness.
He picked up each stone one by one and looked at it closely. It felt to him like a slight warmth was transferring from the stone to his skin, and he suddenly put them down, as if feeling uneasy.
"A very clever, or a very imaginative man," he said to himself, "who could squeeze the secrets of life and death from such broken lines as those!"
"A really smart or incredibly creative person," he thought to himself, "could uncover the secrets of life and death from such fragmented lines as these!"
Then he turned to a yellow envelope lying beside them in the desk, with the single word on the outside in the writing of the professor—the word Translation.
Then he turned to a yellow envelope lying next to them on the desk, with a single word written on the outside in the professor's handwriting—the word Translation.
"Now," he thought, taking it up with a sudden violence to conceal his nervousness, "now for the great solution. Now to learn the meaning of the worlds, and why mankind was made, and why discipline is worth while, and sacrifice and pain the true law of advancement."
"Now," he thought, grabbing it with sudden force to hide his anxiety, "now for the big answer. Now to understand the meaning of life, why people were created, why discipline matters, and why sacrifice and pain are the real keys to progress."
There was the shadow of a sneer in his voice, and yet something in him shivered at the same time. He held the envelope as though weighing it in his hand, his mind pondering many things. Then curiosity won the day, and he suddenly tore it open with the gesture of an actor who tears open a letter on the stage, knowing there is no real writing inside at all.
There was a hint of a sneer in his voice, but at the same time, something inside him trembled. He held the envelope as if he were weighing it in his hand, his mind racing with thoughts. Then curiosity took over, and he abruptly ripped it open with the flair of an actor tearing open a letter on stage, fully aware there was no real writing inside.
A page of finely written script in the late scientist's handwriting lay before him. He read it through from beginning to end, missing no word, uttering each syllable distinctly under his breath as he read.
A page of neat handwriting from the late scientist was in front of him. He read it thoroughly from start to finish, not skipping a word, clearly pronouncing each syllable quietly to himself as he read.
The pallor of his face grew ghastly as he neared the end. He began to shake all over as with ague. His breath came heavily in gasps. He still gripped the sheet of paper, however, and deliberately, as by an intense effort of will, read it through a second time from beginning to end. And this time, as the last syllable dropped from his lips, the whole face of the man flamed with a sudden and terrible anger. His skin became deep, deep red, and he clenched his teeth. With all the strength of his vigorous soul he was struggling to keep control of himself.
The pallor of his face became eerie as he approached the end. He started shaking all over, like he had a fever. His breathing was heavy and labored. Still, he held onto the sheet of paper and, with a determined effort, read it all the way through again from start to finish. And this time, as the last word escaped his lips, his entire face erupted with sudden and fierce anger. His skin turned a deep, dark red, and he gritted his teeth. With all the strength of his strong will, he fought to maintain control over himself.
For perhaps five minutes he stood there beside the table without stirring a muscle. He might have been carved out of stone. His eyes were shut, and only the heaving of the chest betrayed the fact that he was a living being. Then, with a strange quietness, he lit a match and applied it to the sheet of paper he held in his hand. The ashes fell slowly about him, piece by piece, and he blew them from the window-sill into the air, his eyes following them as they floated away on the summer wind that breathed so warmly over the world.
For about five minutes, he stood there next to the table without moving at all. He looked like he was made of stone. His eyes were closed, and the only thing that showed he was alive was the rising and falling of his chest. Then, with an unusual calmness, he struck a match and held it to the piece of paper in his hand. The ashes drifted down around him, bit by bit, and he blew them off the windowsill into the air, watching them as they soared away on the warm summer breeze that flowed gently over the world.
He turned back slowly into the room. Although his actions and movements were absolutely steady and controlled, it was clear that he was on the edge of violent action. A hurricane might burst upon the still room any moment. His muscles were tense and rigid. Then, suddenly, he whitened, collapsed, and sank backwards into a chair, like a tumbled bundle of inert matter. He had fainted.
He turned back into the room slowly. Even though his actions and movements were completely steady and controlled, it was obvious he was teetering on the brink of something violent. A storm could unleash itself in the quiet room at any moment. His muscles were tense and stiff. Then, all of a sudden, he turned pale, collapsed, and sank back into a chair, like a loose pile of lifeless matter. He had fainted.
In less than half an hour he recovered consciousness and sat up. As before, he made no sound. Not a syllable passed his lips. He rose quietly and looked about the room.
In less than half an hour, he regained consciousness and sat up. As before, he remained silent. Not a word escaped his lips. He quietly got up and scanned the room.
Then he did a curious thing.
Then he did something weird.
Taking a heavy stick from the rack in the corner he approached the mantlepiece, and with a heavy shattering blow he smashed the clock to pieces. The glass fell in shivering atoms.
Grabbing a heavy stick from the rack in the corner, he walked over to the mantlepiece and smashed the clock with a powerful blow. The glass shattered into tiny pieces.
"Cease your lying voice for ever," he said, in a curiously still, even tone. "There is no such thing as time!"
"Shut your lying voice forever," he said in a strangely calm, even tone. "There’s no such thing as time!"
He took the watch from his pocket, swung it round several times by the long gold chain, smashed it into smithereens against the wall with a single blow, and then walked into his laboratory next door, and hung its broken body on the bones of the skeleton in the corner of the room.
He pulled the watch out of his pocket, spun it around several times by the long gold chain, smashed it against the wall with one strong hit, and then walked into his lab next door, hanging its shattered remains on the skeleton’s bones in the corner of the room.
"Let one damned mockery hang upon another," he said smiling oddly. "Delusions, both of you, and cruel as false!"
"Let one ridiculous joke follow another," he said with a strange smile. "You're both deluded, and as cruel as the lies!"
He slowly moved back to the front room. He stopped opposite the bookcase where stood in a row the "Scriptures of the World," choicely bound and exquisitely printed, the late professor's most treasured possession, and next to them several books signed "Pilgrim."
He slowly walked back to the front room. He stopped in front of the bookcase where the "Scriptures of the World" stood in a row, beautifully bound and printed, the late professor's most valued possession, and next to them were several books labeled "Pilgrim."
One by one he took them from the shelf and hurled them through the open window.
One by one, he grabbed them from the shelf and threw them out the open window.
"A devil's dreams! A devil's foolish dreams!" he cried, with a vicious laugh.
"A devil's dreams! A devil's stupid dreams!" he shouted, with a cruel laugh.
Presently he stopped from sheer exhaustion. He turned his eyes slowly to the wall opposite, where hung a weird array of Eastern swords and daggers, scimitars and spears, the collections of many journeys. He crossed the room and ran his finger along the edge. His mind seemed to waver.
Presently, he stopped from pure exhaustion. He slowly turned his gaze to the wall opposite, where a strange display of Eastern swords and daggers, scimitars and spears hung—collections from many journeys. He crossed the room and traced his finger along the edge. His mind seemed to waver.
"No," he muttered presently; "not that way. There are easier and better ways than that."
"No," he muttered after a moment; "not like that. There are easier and better ways to do it."
He took his hat and passed downstairs into the street.
He grabbed his hat and went downstairs into the street.
5
It was five o'clock, and the June sun lay hot upon the pavement. He felt the metal door-knob burn the palm of his hand.
It was five o'clock, and the June sun was blazing on the pavement. He felt the metal doorknob scorching the palm of his hand.
"Ah, Laidlaw, this is well met," cried a voice at his elbow; "I was in the act of coming to see you. I've a case that will interest you, and besides, I remembered that you flavoured your tea with orange leaves!—and I admit—"
"Ah, Laidlaw, good to see you," exclaimed a voice next to him; "I was just about to come and find you. I have a case that will catch your interest, and also, I remembered that you put orange leaves in your tea!—and I confess—"
It was Alexis Stephen, the great hypnotic doctor.
It was Alexis Stephen, the renowned hypnotist.
"I've had no tea to-day," Laidlaw said, in a dazed manner, after staring for a moment as though the other had struck him in the face. A new idea had entered his mind.
"I haven't had any tea today," Laidlaw said, sounding dazed after staring for a moment as if the other person had just hit him in the face. A new thought had popped into his mind.
"What's the matter?" asked Dr. Stephen quickly. "Something's wrong with you. It's this sudden heat, or overwork. Come, man, let's go inside."
"What's wrong?" Dr. Stephen asked quickly. "Something's off with you. It must be this sudden heat or too much work. Come on, let’s go inside."
A sudden light broke upon the face of the younger man, the light of a heaven-sent inspiration. He looked into his friend's face, and told a direct lie.
A sudden light appeared on the younger man's face, the light of a life-changing idea. He looked into his friend's face and told a straightforward lie.
"Odd," he said, "I myself was just coming to see you. I have something of great importance to test your confidence with. But in your house, please," as Stephen urged him towards his own door—"in your house. It's only round the corner, and I—I cannot go back there—to my rooms—till I have told you.
"That's weird," he said, "I was actually just on my way to see you. I have something really important to talk to you about. But let's do it in your house, please," as Stephen tried to guide him to his own door—"in your house. It's just around the corner, and I—I can't go back to my place—until I've told you.
"I'm your patient—for the moment," he added stammeringly as soon as they were seated in the privacy of the hypnotist's sanctum, "and I want—er—"
"I'm your patient—for now," he added hesitantly as soon as they were settled in the privacy of the hypnotist's room, "and I want—um—"
"My dear Laidlaw," interrupted the other, in that soothing voice of command which had suggested to many a suffering soul that the cure for its pain lay in the powers of its own reawakened will, "I am always at your service, as you know. You have only to tell me what I can do for you, and I will do it." He showed every desire to help him out. His manner was indescribably tactful and direct.
"My dear Laidlaw," the other interjected, using that calming authoritative tone that had led many a troubled person to believe that the solution to their pain was in their own revived determination, "I’m always here for you, as you know. Just let me know what I can do for you, and I’ll make it happen." He was clearly eager to assist him. His approach was incredibly tactful and straightforward.
Dr. Laidlaw looked up into his face.
Dr. Laidlaw looked up at him.
"I surrender my will to you," he said, already calmed by the other's healing presence, "and I want you to treat me hypnotically—and at once. I want you to suggest to me"—his voice became very tense—"that I shall forget—forget till I die—everything that has occurred to me during the last two hours; till I die, mind," he added, with solemn emphasis, "till I die."
"I give my will to you," he said, feeling reassured by the other person's comforting presence, "and I want you to hypnotize me—right now. I want you to suggest to me"—his voice became very intense—"that I will forget—forget until I die—everything that happened to me in the last two hours; until I die, mind," he emphasized solemnly, "until I die."
He floundered and stammered like a frightened boy. Alexis Stephen looked at him fixedly without speaking.
He struggled and stammered like a scared kid. Alexis Stephen stared at him intently without saying anything.
"And further," Laidlaw continued, "I want you to ask me no questions. I wish to forget for ever something I have recently discovered—something so terrible and yet so obvious that I can hardly understand why it is not patent to every mind in the world—for I have had a moment of absolute clear vision—of merciless clairvoyance. But I want no one else in the whole world to know what it is—least of all, old friend, yourself."
"And also," Laidlaw continued, "I don’t want you to ask me any questions. I want to forget something I’ve recently discovered—something so awful yet so obvious that I can barely grasp why it isn’t clear to everyone. I’ve had a moment of absolute clear vision—of ruthless insight. But I don’t want anyone else in the world to know what it is—not even you, my old friend."
He talked in utter confusion, and hardly knew what he was saying. But the pain on his face and the anguish in his voice were an instant passport to the other's heart.
He spoke in complete confusion and barely understood what he was saying. But the pain on his face and the anguish in his voice immediately touched the other person's heart.
"Nothing is easier," replied Dr. Stephen, after a hesitation so slight that the other probably did not even notice it. "Come into my other room where we shall not be disturbed. I can heal you. Your memory of the last two hours shall be wiped out as though it had never been. You can trust me absolutely."
"Nothing’s easier," Dr. Stephen replied, after a hesitation so brief that the other person probably didn’t even notice. "Come into my other room where we won’t be disturbed. I can fix this for you. Your memory of the last two hours will be erased like it never happened. You can completely trust me."
"I know I can," Laidlaw said simply, as he followed him in.
"I know I can," Laidlaw said plainly, as he followed him inside.
6
An hour later they passed back into the front room again. The sun was already behind the houses opposite, and the shadows began to gather.
An hour later, they returned to the front room. The sun had already gone down behind the houses across the street, and the shadows started to grow.
"I went off easily?" Laidlaw asked.
"I got off easily?" Laidlaw asked.
"You were a little obstinate at first. But though you came in like a lion, you went out like a lamb. I let you sleep a bit afterwards."
"You were a bit stubborn at first. But even though you came in strong, you left feeling calm. I let you rest a little afterward."
Dr. Stephen kept his eyes rather steadily upon his friend's face.
Dr. Stephen kept his gaze fixed on his friend's face.
"What were you doing by the fire before you came here?" he asked, pausing, in a casual tone, as he lit a cigarette and handed the case to his patient.
"What were you doing by the fire before you got here?" he asked, pausing in a casual way as he lit a cigarette and handed the case to his patient.
"I? Let me see. Oh, I know; I was worrying my way through poor old Ebor's papers and things. I'm his executor, you know. Then I got weary and came out for a whiff of air." He spoke lightly and with perfect naturalness. Obviously he was telling the truth. "I prefer specimens to papers," he laughed cheerily.
"I? Let me think. Oh, I remember; I was stressing over poor old Ebor's papers and stuff. I'm his executor, you know. Then I got tired and stepped outside for some fresh air." He spoke casually and with complete ease. Clearly, he was being honest. "I like specimens more than paperwork," he laughed happily.
"I know, I know," said Dr. Stephen, holding a lighted match for the cigarette. His face wore an expression of content. The experiment had been a complete success. The memory of the last two hours was wiped out utterly. Laidlaw was already chatting gaily and easily about a dozen other things that interested him. Together they went out into the street, and at his door Dr. Stephen left him with a joke and a wry face that made his friend laugh heartily.
"I know, I know," said Dr. Stephen, holding a lit match for the cigarette. He looked content. The experiment had worked perfectly. The last two hours were completely erased from Laidlaw's memory. He was already talking cheerfully and effortlessly about a bunch of other things that caught his interest. They both went out into the street, and at his door, Dr. Stephen left him with a joke and a wry smile that made his friend laugh loudly.
"Don't dine on the professor's old papers by mistake," he cried, as he vanished down the street.
"Don't accidentally eat the professor's old papers!" he shouted as he disappeared down the street.
Dr. Laidlaw went up to his study at the top of the house. Half way down he met his housekeeper, Mrs. Fewings. She was flustered and excited, and her face was very red and perspiring.
Dr. Laidlaw went up to his study at the top of the house. Halfway up, he ran into his housekeeper, Mrs. Fewings. She seemed flustered and excited, and her face was bright red and sweaty.
"There've been burglars here," she cried excitedly, "or something funny! All your things is just any'ow, sir. I found everything all about everywhere!" She was very confused. In this orderly and very precise establishment it was unusual to find a thing out of place.
"There have been burglars here," she exclaimed excitedly, "or something strange! All your things are just everywhere, sir. I found everything all over the place!" She was very flustered. In this neat and very organized place, it was unusual to find anything out of order.
"Oh, my specimens!" cried the doctor, dashing up the rest of the stairs at top speed. "Have they been touched or—"
"Oh, my specimens!" the doctor shouted, racing up the rest of the stairs at full speed. "Have they been touched or—"
He flew to the door of the laboratory. Mrs. Fewings panted up heavily behind him.
He ran to the lab door. Mrs. Fewings was breathing heavily behind him.
"The labatry ain't been touched," she explained, breathlessly, "but they smashed the libry clock and they've 'ung your gold watch, sir, on the skelinton's hands. And the books that weren't no value they flung out er the window just like so much rubbish. They must have been wild drunk, Dr. Laidlaw, sir!"
"The laboratory hasn't been touched," she explained, breathlessly, "but they smashed the library clock and they've hung your gold watch, sir, on the skeleton's hands. And the books that were of no value, they tossed out of the window like so much garbage. They must have been completely drunk, Dr. Laidlaw, sir!"
The young scientist made a hurried examination of the rooms. Nothing of value was missing. He began to wonder what kind of burglars they were. He looked up sharply at Mrs. Fewings standing in the doorway. For a moment he seemed to cast about in his mind for something.
The young scientist quickly checked the rooms. Nothing valuable was gone. He started to think about what kind of burglars they could be. He glanced sharply at Mrs. Fewings, who was standing in the doorway. For a moment, he appeared to search his mind for something.
"Odd," he said at length. "I only left here an hour ago and everything was all right then."
"That's strange," he said after a moment. "I just left here an hour ago and everything was fine back then."
"Was it, sir? Yes, sir." She glanced sharply at him. Her room looked out upon the courtyard, and she must have seen the books come crashing down, and also have heard her master leave the house a few minutes later.
"Was it, sir? Yes, sir." She shot him a quick look. Her room faced the courtyard, so she must have seen the books fall and also heard her master leave the house a few minutes later.
"And what's this rubbish the brutes have left?" he cried, taking up two slabs of worn gray stone, on the writing-table. "Bath brick, or something, I do declare."
"And what's this mess the animals have left?" he shouted, picking up two pieces of worn gray stone from the writing table. "Bath brick, or something like that, I really can't believe it."
He looked very sharply again at the confused and troubled housekeeper.
He glanced intently again at the confused and worried housekeeper.
"Throw them on the dust heap, Mrs. Fewings, and—and let me know if anything is missing in the house, and I will notify the police this evening."
"Throw them in the trash, Mrs. Fewings, and—and let me know if anything is missing from the house, and I'll call the police tonight."
When she left the room he went into the laboratory and took his watch off the skeleton's fingers. His face wore a troubled expression, but after a moment's thought it cleared again. His memory was a complete blank.
When she left the room, he went into the lab and took his watch off the skeleton's fingers. He looked troubled, but after a moment of thought, his expression cleared up again. His memory was a total blank.
"I suppose I left it on the writing-table when I went out to take the air," he said. And there was no one present to contradict him.
"I guess I left it on the writing desk when I stepped outside for some fresh air," he said. And there was no one around to challenge him.
He crossed to the window and blew carelessly some ashes of burned paper from the sill, and stood watching them as they floated away lazily over the tops of the trees.
He walked over to the window and carelessly blew some ashes from burned paper off the sill, then stood there watching them drift lazily over the treetops.
The Glamour of the Snow
I
Hibbert, always conscious of two worlds, was in this mountain village conscious of three. It lay on the slopes of the Valais Alps, and he had taken a room in the little post office, where he could be at peace to write his book, yet at the same time enjoy the winter sports and find companionship in the hotels when he wanted it.
Hibbert, always aware of two worlds, was in this mountain village aware of three. It was situated on the slopes of the Valais Alps, and he had rented a room in the small post office, where he could find peace to write his book, while also enjoying winter sports and having the option for companionship in the hotels whenever he felt like it.
The three worlds that met and mingled here seemed to his imaginative temperament very obvious, though it is doubtful if another mind less intuitively equipped would have seen them so well-defined. There was the world of tourist English, civilised, quasi-educated, to which he belonged by birth, at any rate; there was the world of peasants to which he felt himself drawn by sympathy—for he loved and admired their toiling, simple life; and there was this other—which he could only call the world of Nature. To this last, however, in virtue of a vehement poetic imagination, and a tumultuous pagan instinct fed by his very blood, he felt that most of him belonged. The others borrowed from it, as it were, for visits. Here, with the soul of Nature, hid his central life.
The three worlds that came together and blended here were very clear to his imaginative nature, though it's questionable if someone less intuitively gifted would have seen them so distinctly. There was the world of tourist English, refined and somewhat educated, to which he belonged by birth, at least; there was the world of peasants, which he felt drawn to out of sympathy because he loved and admired their hardworking, simple life; and then there was this other world—which he could only describe as the world of Nature. To this last one, due to his intense poetic imagination and a wild pagan instinct fueled by his very essence, he felt that most of him truly belonged. The others seemed to borrow from it, so to speak, for their visits. Here, with the soul of Nature, hid his true life.
Between all three was conflict—potential conflict. On the skating-rink each Sunday the tourists regarded the natives as intruders; in the church the peasants plainly questioned: "Why do you come? We are here to worship; you to stare and whisper!" For neither of these two worlds accepted the other. And neither did Nature accept the tourists, for it took advantage of their least mistakes, and indeed, even of the peasant-world "accepted" only those who were strong and bold enough to invade her savage domain with sufficient skill to protect themselves from several forms of—death.
Between all three was conflict—potential conflict. At the skating rink every Sunday, the tourists saw the locals as intruders; in church, the peasants clearly questioned, "Why are you here? We're here to worship; you’re just here to stare and whisper!" Neither of these two worlds accepted the other. And neither did Nature accept the tourists, as it seized upon their slightest mistakes, and indeed, even the peasant world "accepted" only those who were strong and brave enough to enter her wild domain with the right skills to protect themselves from various types of—death.
Now Hibbert was keenly aware of this potential conflict and want of harmony; he felt outside, yet caught by it—torn in the three directions because he was partly of each world, but wholly in only one. There grew in him a constant, subtle effort—or, at least, desire—to unify them and decide positively to which he should belong and live in. The attempt, of course, was largely subconscious. It was the natural instinct of a richly imaginative nature seeking the point of equilibrium, so that the mind could feel at peace and his brain be free to do good work.
Now Hibbert was very aware of this potential conflict and lack of harmony; he felt like an outsider, yet entangled in it—pulled in three different directions because he was partly from each world, but fully in only one. He experienced a constant, subtle effort—or at least a desire—to bring them together and firmly decide where he should belong and live. This struggle, of course, was mostly subconscious. It was the natural instinct of a highly imaginative nature seeking balance, so his mind could be at peace and his brain could be free to do great work.
Among the guests no one especially claimed his interest. The men were nice but undistinguished—athletic schoolmasters, doctors snatching a holiday, good fellows all; the women, equally various—the clever, the would-be-fast, the dare-to-be-dull, the women "who understood," and the usual pack of jolly dancing girls and "flappers." And Hibbert, with his forty odd years of thick experience behind him, got on well with the lot; he understood them all; they belonged to definite, predigested types that are the same the world over, and that he had met the world over long ago.
Among the guests, no one particularly stood out to him. The men were nice but unremarkable—athletic teachers, doctors enjoying a break, all good guys; the women were just as diverse—the smart ones, the wannabe trendy, the dare-to-be-boring, the women "who got it," and the usual group of cheerful dancers and "flappers." Hibbert, with his forty-plus years of extensive experience behind him, got along well with everyone; he understood them all; they fit into clear, familiar types that are the same everywhere, and that he had encountered all over the world long ago.
But to none of them did he belong. His nature was too "multiple" to subscribe to the set of shibboleths of any one class. And, since all liked him, and felt that somehow he seemed outside of them—spectator, looker-on—all sought to claim him.
But he didn't really belong to any of them. His nature was too "diverse" to fit into the specific beliefs of any one group. And since everyone liked him and felt that he was somehow separate from them—an observer, a bystander—they all tried to claim him.
In a sense, therefore, the three worlds fought for him: natives, tourists, Nature....
In a way, the three worlds were fighting for him: locals, visitors, Nature....
It was thus began the singular conflict for the soul of Hibbert. In his own soul, however, it took place. Neither the peasants nor the tourists were conscious that they fought for anything. And Nature, they say, is merely blind and automatic.
It was thus began the unique struggle for Hibbert's soul. In his own soul, however, it happened. Neither the peasants nor the tourists realized they were fighting for anything. And Nature, they say, is just blind and automatic.
The assault upon him of the peasants may be left out of account, for it is obvious that they stood no chance of success. The tourist world, however, made a gallant effort to subdue him to themselves. But the evenings in the hotel, when dancing was not in order, were—English. The provincial imagination was set upon a throne and worshipped heavily through incense of the stupidest conventions possible. Hibbert used to go back early to his room in the post office to work.
The attack by the peasants can be ignored because it’s clear they had no chance of winning. The tourist crowd, however, made a brave attempt to win him over. But the evenings at the hotel, when dancing wasn’t scheduled, were very English. The country’s imagination was placed on a pedestal and celebrated with the most ridiculous conventions. Hibbert would often return early to his room at the post office to get some work done.
"It is a mistake on my part to have realised that there is any conflict at all," he thought, as he crunched home over the snow at midnight after one of the dances. "It would have been better to have kept outside it all and done my work. Better," he added, looking back down the silent village street to the church tower, "and—safer."
"It was a mistake for me to have realized that there’s any conflict at all," he thought as he trudged home through the snow at midnight after one of the dances. "It would have been better to have stayed out of it all and just focused on my work. Better,” he added, glancing back down the quiet village street toward the church tower, “and—safer."
The adjective slipped from his mind before he was aware of it. He turned with an involuntary start and looked about him. He knew perfectly well what it meant—this thought that had thrust its head up from the instinctive region. He understood, without being able to express it fully, the meaning that betrayed itself in the choice of the adjective. For if he had ignored the existence of this conflict he would at the same time, have remained outside the arena. Whereas now he had entered the lists. Now this battle for his soul must have issue. And he knew that the spell of Nature was greater for him than all other spells in the world combined—greater than love, revelry, pleasure, greater even than study. He had always been afraid to let himself go. His pagan soul dreaded her terrific powers of witchery even while he worshipped.
The adjective popped into his mind before he even realized it. He turned around in surprise and looked around. He fully understood what it meant—this thought that had emerged from his instincts. He recognized, even if he couldn't articulate it completely, the meaning revealed in his choice of adjective. If he had ignored this conflict, he would have stayed on the sidelines. But now he had stepped into the arena. Now this battle for his soul had to be resolved. And he knew that the pull of nature was stronger for him than any other attraction in the world combined—stronger than love, partying, pleasure, and even study. He had always been scared to let himself fully experience it. His pagan soul feared her overwhelming powers of enchantment even as he adored her.
The little village already slept. The world lay smothered in snow. The châlet roofs shone white beneath the moon, and pitch-black shadows gathered against the walls of the church. His eye rested a moment on the square stone tower with its frosted cross that pointed to the sky: then travelled with a leap of many thousand feet to the enormous mountains that brushed the brilliant stars. Like a forest rose the huge peaks above the slumbering village, measuring the night and heavens. They beckoned him. And something born of the snowy desolation, born of the midnight and the silent grandeur, born of the great listening hollows of the night, something that lay 'twixt terror and wonder, dropped from the vast wintry spaces down into his heart—and called him. Very softly, unrecorded in any word or thought his brain could compass, it laid its spell upon him. Fingers of snow brushed the surface of his heart. The power and quiet majesty of the winter's night appalled him....
The small village was already asleep. The world was covered in snow. The chalet roofs sparkled white under the moon, and deep black shadows gathered against the church walls. His gaze lingered for a moment on the square stone tower with its frosted cross pointing to the sky; then it soared thousands of feet up to the massive mountains that brushed against the brilliant stars. The huge peaks rose like a forest above the sleeping village, measuring the night and the heavens. They called to him. And something born from the snowy desolation, born from midnight and silent grandeur, something that existed between fear and awe, fell from the vast wintry expanse into his heart—and beckoned him. Very softly, unexpressed in any words or thoughts his mind could grasp, it cast its spell on him. Fingers of snow grazed the surface of his heart. The power and quiet majesty of the winter night filled him with a sense of dread....
Fumbling a moment with the big unwieldy key, he let himself in and went upstairs to bed. Two thoughts went with him—apparently quite ordinary and sensible ones:
Fumbling for a moment with the large, awkward key, he let himself in and headed upstairs to bed. Two thoughts followed him—seemingly quite ordinary and reasonable ones:
"What fools these peasants are to sleep through such a night!" And the other:
"What fools these peasants are to sleep through such a night!" And the other:
"Those dances tire me. I'll never go again. My work only suffers in the morning." The claims of peasants and tourists upon him seemed thus in a single instant weakened.
"Those dances wear me out. I'm never going back. My work just suffers in the morning." The demands of the peasants and tourists on him seemed instantly diminished.
The clash of battle troubled half his dreams. Nature had sent her Beauty of the Night and won the first assault. The others, routed and dismayed, fled far away.
The chaos of battle disturbed half his dreams. Nature had brought her Beauty of the Night and won the first fight. The others, defeated and shaken, ran away far.
II
"Don't go back to your dreary old post office. We're going to have supper in my room—something hot. Come and join us. Hurry up!"
"Don't head back to that boring old post office. We're having dinner in my room—something warm. Come and join us. Hurry up!"
There had been an ice carnival, and the last party, tailing up the snow-slope to the hotel, called him. The Chinese lanterns smoked and sputtered on the wires; the band had long since gone. The cold was bitter and the moon came only momentarily between high, driving clouds. From the shed where the people changed from skates to snow-boots he shouted something to the effect that he was "following"; but no answer came; the moving shadows of those who had called were already merged high up against the village darkness. The voices died away. Doors slammed. Hibbert found himself alone on the deserted rink.
There had been an ice carnival, and the last party, making its way up the snow-covered slope to the hotel, called to him. The Chinese lanterns smoked and flickered on the wires; the band had long since packed up. The cold was harsh, and the moon peeked out only briefly through the high, racing clouds. From the shed where people switched from skates to snow boots, he shouted something like he was "following," but there was no response; the moving shadows of those who called out were already lost against the dark village. The voices faded away. Doors slammed. Hibbert found himself alone on the empty rink.
And it was then, quite suddenly, the impulse came to—stay and skate alone. The thought of the stuffy hotel room, and of those noisy people with their obvious jokes and laughter, oppressed him. He felt a longing to be alone with the night; to taste her wonder all by himself there beneath the stars, gliding over the ice. It was not yet midnight, and he could skate for half an hour. That supper party, if they noticed his absence at all, would merely think he had changed his mind and gone to bed.
And then, all of a sudden, he felt the urge to stay and skate alone. The idea of the cramped hotel room and those loud people with their obvious jokes and laughter weighed him down. He craved to be alone with the night, to immerse himself in its magic beneath the stars, gliding over the ice. It wasn’t even midnight yet, and he could skate for half an hour. That dinner party, if they noticed he was gone at all, would just assume he’d changed his mind and gone to bed.
It was an impulse, yes, and not an unnatural one; yet even at the time it struck him that something more than impulse lay concealed behind it. More than invitation, yet certainly less than command, there was a vague queer feeling that he stayed because he had to, almost as though there was something he had forgotten, overlooked, left undone. Imaginative temperaments are often thus; and impulse is ever weakness. For with such ill-considered opening of the doors to hasty action may come an invasion of other forces at the same time—forces merely waiting their opportunity perhaps!
It was an impulse, sure, and not an unusual one; still, even then, he felt that there was something deeper behind it. More than just an invitation, yet definitely less than a command, there was a strange feeling that he stayed because he needed to, almost as if there was something he had forgotten, overlooked, or left unfinished. People with imaginative temperaments often feel this way; and impulse is always a weakness. Because when you carelessly open the door to hasty actions, other forces might come rushing in at the same time—forces that are just waiting for their chance!
He caught the fugitive warning even while he dismissed it as absurd, and the next minute he was whirling over the smooth ice in delightful curves and loops beneath the moon. There was no fear of collision. He could take his own speed and space as he willed. The shadows of the towering mountains fell across the rink, and a wind of ice came from the forests, where the snow lay ten feet deep. The hotel lights winked and went out. The village slept. The high wire netting could not keep out the wonder of the winter night that grew about him like a presence. He skated on and on, keen exhilarating pleasure in his tingling blood, and weariness all forgotten.
He noticed the warning about the fugitive, even while he brushed it off as ridiculous, and a moment later, he was gliding over the smooth ice in beautiful curves and loops under the moonlight. There was no chance of colliding with anything. He could control his speed and space however he wanted. The shadows of the towering mountains stretched across the rink, and a cold breeze swept in from the forests, where the snow was piled ten feet high. The hotel lights flickered and went out. The village was asleep. The high wire fencing couldn't stop the magic of the winter night that surrounded him like a presence. He kept skating, feeling a sharp, exhilarating joy in his veins, completely forgetting his fatigue.
And then, midway in the delight of rushing movement, he saw a figure gliding behind the wire netting, watching him. With a start that almost made him lose his balance—for the abruptness of the new arrival was so unlooked for—he paused and stared. Although the light was dim he made out that it was the figure of a woman and that she was feeling her way along the netting, trying to get in. Against the white background of the snow-field he watched her rather stealthy efforts as she passed with a silent step over the banked-up snow. She was tall and slim and graceful; he could see that even in the dark. And then, of course, he understood. It was another adventurous skater like himself, stolen down unawares from hotel or châlet, and searching for the opening. At once, making a sign and pointing with one hand, he turned swiftly and skated over to the little entrance on the other side.
And then, in the middle of his exhilarating rush, he noticed a figure behind the wire mesh, watching him. He was so surprised that he almost lost his balance—he hadn't expected anyone to appear so suddenly. He paused and stared. Even in the dim light, he made out that it was a woman, and she was carefully making her way along the netting, trying to get in. Against the bright white of the snowy field, he watched her cautious movements as she stepped silently over the piled-up snow. She was tall, slim, and graceful; he could see that even in the dark. And then, of course, he realized. It was another adventurous skater like him, sneaking out unnoticed from a hotel or chalet, looking for a way in. Without hesitation, he signaled and pointed with one hand, then turned quickly and skated over to the small entrance on the other side.
But, even before he got there, there was a sound on the ice behind him and, with an exclamation of amazement he could not suppress, he turned to see her swerving up to his side across the width of the rink. She had somehow found another way in.
But, even before he arrived, he heard a sound on the ice behind him and, with an involuntary gasp of surprise, he turned to see her gliding up to his side across the rink. She had somehow found another way in.
Hibbert, as a rule, was punctilious, and in these free-and-easy places, perhaps, especially so. If only for his own protection he did not seek to make advances unless some kind of introduction paved the way. But for these two to skate together in the semi-darkness without speech, often of necessity brushing shoulders almost, was too absurd to think of. Accordingly he raised his cap and spoke. His actual words he seems unable to recall, nor what the girl said in reply, except that she answered him in accented English with some commonplace about doing figures at midnight on an empty rink. Quite natural it was, and right. She wore grey clothes of some kind, though not the customary long gloves or sweater, for indeed her hands were bare, and presently when he skated with her, he wondered with something like astonishment at their dry and icy coldness.
Hibbert was usually very proper, especially in these casual places. For his own protection, he didn’t make advances unless there was some sort of introduction. But for the two of them to skate together in the dim light without talking, often almost bumping into each other, was too ridiculous to consider. So, he tipped his cap and spoke. He can’t remember exactly what he said or what the girl replied, except that she responded in accented English, saying something ordinary about doing figures at midnight on an empty rink. It felt natural and appropriate. She wore some kind of grey outfit, though not the usual long gloves or sweater; her hands were bare, and when he skated with her, he was surprised by how dry and icy cold they were.
And she was delicious to skate with—supple, sure, and light, fast as a man yet with the freedom of a child, sinuous and steady at the same time. Her flexibility made him wonder, and when he asked where she had learned she murmured—he caught the breath against his ear and recalled later that it was singularly cold—that she could hardly tell, for she had been accustomed to the ice ever since she could remember.
And she was a joy to skate with—flexible, confident, and light, as fast as a man but with the carefree spirit of a child, graceful and steady at the same time. Her agility amazed him, and when he asked where she had learned, she softly replied—he felt her breath against his ear and later remembered that it was unusually cold—that she could hardly say, since she had been on the ice for as long as she could remember.
But her face he never properly saw. A muffler of white fur buried her neck to the ears, and her cap came over the eyes. He only saw that she was young. Nor could he gather her hotel or châlet, for she pointed vaguely, when he asked her, up the slopes. "Just over there—" she said, quickly taking his hand again. He did not press her; no doubt she wished to hide her escapade. And the touch of her hand thrilled him more than anything he could remember; even through his thick glove he felt the softness of that cold and delicate softness.
But he never really saw her face. A white fur scarf covered her neck all the way up to her ears, and her cap came down over her eyes. All he could tell was that she was young. He couldn't figure out where her hotel or cabin was, because when he asked, she pointed vaguely up the slopes. "Right over there—" she said, quickly taking his hand again. He didn’t push her; she probably wanted to keep her little adventure a secret. And the feel of her hand sent a thrill through him like nothing he could remember; even through his thick glove, he felt the cold, delicate softness.
The clouds thickened over the mountains. It grew darker. They talked very little, and did not always skate together. Often they separated, curving about in corners by themselves, but always coming together again in the centre of the rink; and when she left him thus Hibbert was conscious of—yes, of missing her. He found a peculiar satisfaction, almost a fascination, in skating by her side. It was quite an adventure—these two strangers with the ice and snow and night!
The clouds got heavier over the mountains. It became darker. They talked very little and didn't always skate together. Often, they split up, gliding around the corners on their own, but always reunited in the center of the rink; when she left him like that, Hibbert realized he—yes, he missed her. He felt a strange satisfaction, almost an attraction, in skating beside her. It was quite an adventure—these two strangers with the ice and snow and night!
Midnight had long since sounded from the old church tower before they parted. She gave the sign, and he skated quickly to the shed, meaning to find a seat and help her take her skates off. Yet when he turned—she had already gone. He saw her slim figure gliding away across the snow ... and hurrying for the last time round the rink alone he searched in vain for the opening she had twice used in this curious way.
Midnight had long passed from the old church tower before they separated. She gave the signal, and he rushed to the shed, intending to find a seat and help her take off her skates. But when he turned around—she was already gone. He saw her slender figure gliding away across the snow... and as he hurried around the rink for the last time, searching in vain for the opening she had used twice in this strange manner.
"How very queer!" he thought, referring to the wire netting. "She must have lifted it and wriggled under ...!"
"How odd!" he thought, referring to the wire netting. "She must have lifted it and crawled underneath...!"
Wondering how in the world she managed it, what in the world had possessed him to be so free with her, and who in the world she was, he went up the steep slope to the post office and so to bed, her promise to come again another night still ringing delightfully in his ears. And curious were the thoughts and sensations that accompanied him. Most of all, perhaps, was the half suggestion of some dim memory that he had known this girl before, had met her somewhere, more—that she knew him. For in her voice—a low, soft, windy little voice it was, tender and soothing for all its quiet coldness—there lay some faint reminder of two others he had known, both long since gone: the voice of the woman he had loved, and—the voice of his mother.
Wondering how she had pulled it off, what had made him so open with her, and who she really was, he climbed the steep path to the post office and then to bed, her promise to return another night still pleasantly echoing in his ears. He had a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings swirling around him. Most notably was the vague nagging feeling that he had met this girl before, that they had crossed paths somewhere, and more—that she recognized him. In her voice—a soft, gentle, airy little voice, tender and comforting despite its quiet chill—there was a faint hint of two others he had known, both long gone: the voice of the woman he had loved and—the voice of his mother.
But this time through his dreams there ran no clash of battle. He was conscious, rather, of something cold and clinging that made him think of sifting snowflakes climbing slowly with entangling touch and thickness round his feet. The snow, coming without noise, each flake so light and tiny none can mark the spot whereon it settles, yet the mass of it able to smother whole villages, wove through the very texture of his mind—cold, bewildering, deadening effort with its clinging network of ten million feathery touches.
But this time, his dreams were free of the sounds of battle. Instead, he felt something cold and clinging that reminded him of sifting snowflakes slowly wrapping around his feet with their entangling touch and thickness. The snow fell silently, each flake so light and small that no one can pinpoint where it lands. Yet, in large amounts, it can bury entire villages. It wove through the very fabric of his thoughts—cold, confusing, and numbing, with its clingy web of ten million soft touches.
III
In the morning Hibbert realised he had done, perhaps, a foolish thing. The brilliant sunshine that drenched the valley made him see this, and the sight of his work-table with its typewriter, books, papers, and the rest, brought additional conviction. To have skated with a girl alone at midnight, no matter how innocently the thing had come about, was unwise—unfair, especially to her. Gossip in these little winter resorts was worse than in a provincial town. He hoped no one had seen them. Luckily the night had been dark. Most likely none had heard the ring of skates.
In the morning, Hibbert realized he had probably made a foolish decision. The bright sunshine that filled the valley made him see this clearly, and the sight of his work table—with its typewriter, books, papers, and everything else—only reinforced that feeling. Skating alone with a girl at midnight, no matter how innocent it seemed, was unwise—especially unfair to her. Gossip in these small winter resorts was worse than in a small town. He hoped no one had seen them. Luckily, the night had been dark. Most likely, no one had heard the sound of the skates.
Deciding that in future he would be more careful, he plunged into work, and sought to dismiss the matter from his mind.
Deciding that he would be more careful in the future, he threw himself into work and tried to push the matter out of his mind.
But in his times of leisure the memory returned persistently to haunt him. When he "ski-d," "luged," or danced in the evenings, and especially when he skated on the little rink, he was aware that the eyes of his mind forever sought this strange companion of the night. A hundred times he fancied that he saw her, but always sight deceived him. Her face he might not know, but he could hardly fail to recognise her figure. Yet nowhere among the others did he catch a glimpse of that slim young creature he had skated with alone beneath the clouded stars. He searched in vain. Even his inquiries as to the occupants of the private châlets brought no results. He had lost her. But the queer thing was that he felt as though she were somewhere close; he knew she had not really gone. While people came and left with every day, it never once occurred to him that she had left. On the contrary, he felt assured that they would meet again.
But during his free time, the memories kept coming back to haunt him. When he skied, luged, or danced in the evenings, and especially when he skated on the little rink, he felt like his mind was always searching for that strange companion from the night. A hundred times he thought he saw her, but he was always mistaken. He might not recognize her face, but he could easily identify her figure. Yet, he didn’t catch sight of that slim young girl he had skated with alone under the cloudy stars. He looked in vain. Even asking about the people in the private chalets didn’t help. He had lost her. But the strange part was that he felt like she was close by; he knew she hadn’t really left. While people were coming and going every day, it never crossed his mind that she had gone. On the contrary, he was certain that they would meet again.
This thought he never quite acknowledged. Perhaps it was the wish that fathered it only. And, even when he did meet her, it was a question how he would speak and claim acquaintance, or whether she would recognise himself. It might be awkward. He almost came to dread a meeting, though "dread," of course, was far too strong a word to describe an emotion that was half delight, half wondering anticipation.
This thought he never completely acknowledged. Maybe it was just a desire that created it. And even when he did meet her, he wondered how he would introduce himself or if she would recognize him. It could be awkward. He almost started to look forward to the meeting with a sense of dread, although "dread" was definitely too strong a word to describe an emotion that was part excitement, part curious anticipation.
Meanwhile the season was in full swing. Hibbert felt in perfect health, worked hard, ski-d, skated, luged, and at night danced fairly often—in spite of his decision. This dancing was, however, an act of subconscious surrender; it really meant he hoped to find her among the whirling couples. He was searching for her without quite acknowledging it to himself; and the hotel-world, meanwhile, thinking it had won him over, teased and chaffed him. He made excuses in a similar vein; but all the time he watched and searched and—waited.
Meanwhile, the season was in full swing. Hibbert felt perfectly healthy, worked hard, skied, skated, luged, and danced fairly often at night—despite his decision. This dancing was actually a subconscious surrender; it showed he hoped to find her among the swirling couples. He was looking for her without fully admitting it to himself, while the hotel crowd, thinking they had won him over, teased and joked with him. He made excuses along those lines, but all the while he watched and searched—and waited.
For several days the sky held clear and bright and frosty, bitterly cold, everything crisp and sparkling in the sun; but there was no sign of fresh snow, and the ski-ers began to grumble. On the mountains was an icy crust that made "running" dangerous; they wanted the frozen, dry, and powdery snow that makes for speed, renders steering easier and falling less severe. But the keen east wind showed no signs of changing for a whole ten days. Then, suddenly, there came a touch of softer air and the weather-wise began to prophesy.
For several days, the sky was clear, bright, and frosty—bitterly cold—with everything crisp and sparkling in the sun. But there was no sign of fresh snow, and the skiers started to complain. The mountains had an icy crust that made "running" dangerous; they wanted the frozen, dry, powdery snow that provides speed, makes steering easier, and softens falls. However, the biting east wind showed no signs of changing for an entire ten days. Then, all of a sudden, there was a hint of softer air, and the weather-savvy began to predict what was coming.
Hibbert, who was delicately sensitive to the least change in earth or sky, was perhaps the first to feel it. Only he did not prophesy. He knew through every nerve in his body that moisture had crept into the air, was accumulating, and that presently a fall would come. For he responded to the moods of Nature like a fine barometer.
Hibbert, who was highly attuned to even the slightest shift in the earth or sky, was probably the first to notice it. But he didn’t make any predictions. He could feel it in every nerve of his body that moisture had entered the air, building up, and that soon it would rain. He reacted to Nature’s moods like a sensitive barometer.
And the knowledge, this time, brought into his heart a strange little wayward emotion that was hard to account for—a feeling of unexplained uneasiness and disquieting joy. For behind it, woven through it rather, ran a faint exhilaration that connected remotely somewhere with that touch of delicious alarm, that tiny anticipating "dread," that so puzzled him when he thought of his next meeting with his skating companion of the night. It lay beyond all words, all telling, this queer relationship between the two; but somehow the girl and snow ran in a pair across his mind.
And this time, the knowledge stirred up a strange and unpredictable feeling in his heart—an unsettling mix of anxiety and joy. Underneath it all, there was a slight excitement that linked somehow to that tantalizing sense of apprehension, that little bit of "dread" that confused him when he thought about his next meeting with his skating partner from the night. This odd connection between the two was beyond words, but somehow the girl and the snow kept flashing through his mind together.
Perhaps for imaginative writing-men, more than for other workers, the smallest change of mood betrays itself at once. His work at any rate revealed this slight shifting of emotional values in his soul. Not that his writing suffered, but that it altered, subtly as those changes of sky or sea or landscape that come with the passing of afternoon into evening—imperceptibly. A subconscious excitement sought to push outwards and express itself ... and, knowing the uneven effect such moods produced in his work, he laid his pen aside and took instead to reading that he had to do.
Perhaps for imaginative writers more than for anyone else, the slightest change in mood becomes obvious right away. His work, at least, showed this subtle shift in emotional values within him. Not that his writing suffered, but it changed, just like the gradual changes in the sky, sea, or landscape that occur as afternoon turns into evening—almost unnoticeably. A subconscious excitement pushed to emerge and express itself... and knowing how uneven such moods made his work, he set his pen down and chose to focus on the reading he needed to do instead.
Meanwhile the brilliance passed from the sunshine, the sky grew slowly overcast; by dusk the mountain tops came singularly close and sharp; the distant valley rose into absurdly near perspective. The moisture increased, rapidly approaching saturation point, when it must fall in snow. Hibbert watched and waited.
Meanwhile, the brightness faded from the sunlight, and the sky gradually became cloudy; by dusk, the mountain tops looked unusually close and defined; the far-off valley appeared to be absurdly near. The humidity increased, quickly nearing the point of saturation, when it would have to turn into snow. Hibbert observed and waited.
And in the morning the world lay smothered beneath its fresh white carpet. It snowed heavily till noon, thickly, incessantly, chokingly, a foot or more; then the sky cleared, the sun came out in splendour, the wind shifted back to the east, and frost came down upon the mountains with its keenest and most biting tooth. The drop in the temperature was tremendous, but the ski-ers were jubilant. Next day the "running" would be fast and perfect. Already the mass was settling, and the surface freezing into those moss-like, powdery crystals that make the ski run almost of their own accord with the faint "sishing" as of a bird's wings through the air.
And in the morning, the world was covered in a fresh white blanket. It snowed heavily until noon—thick, nonstop, and suffocatingly, a foot or more; then the sky cleared, and the sun shone brilliantly. The wind shifted back to the east, and frost descended upon the mountains with its sharpest, most biting chill. The drop in temperature was huge, but the skiers were thrilled. The next day, the "running" would be fast and perfect. Already, the mass was settling, and the surface was freezing into those moss-like, powdery crystals that make skiing feel effortless, with a soft "sishing" sound like bird wings through the air.
IV
That night there was excitement in the little hotel-world, first because there was a bal costumé, but chiefly because the new snow had come. And Hibbert went—felt drawn to go; he did not go in costume, but he wanted to talk about the slopes and ski-ing with the other men, and at the same time....
That night, there was a buzz in the small hotel, first because there was a costume party, but mainly because the new snow had arrived. And Hibbert went—he felt compelled to go; he didn’t wear a costume, but he wanted to chat about the slopes and skiing with the other guys, and at the same time....
Ah, there was the truth, the deeper necessity that called. For the singular connection between the stranger and the snow again betrayed itself, utterly beyond explanation as before, but vital and insistent. Some hidden instinct in his pagan soul—heaven knows how he phrased it even to himself, if he phrased it at all—whispered that with the snow the girl would be somewhere about, would emerge from her hiding place, would even look for him.
Ah, there was the truth, the deeper need that beckoned. The unique bond between the stranger and the snow revealed itself once more, completely unexplainable like before, but crucial and persistent. Some hidden instinct in his pagan soul—who knows how he articulated it even to himself, if he could articulate it at all—whispered that with the snow the girl would be nearby, would come out from her hiding spot, would even search for him.
Absolutely unwarranted it was. He laughed while he stood before the little glass and trimmed his moustache, tried to make his black tie sit straight, and shook down his dinner jacket so that it should lie upon the shoulders without a crease. His brown eyes were very bright. "I look younger than I usually do," he thought. It was unusual, even significant, in a man who had no vanity about his appearance and certainly never questioned his age or tried to look younger than he was. Affairs of the heart, with one tumultuous exception that left no fuel for lesser subsequent fires, had never troubled him. The forces of his soul and mind not called upon for "work" and obvious duties, all went to Nature. The desolate, wild places of the earth were what he loved; night, and the beauty of the stars and snow. And this evening he felt their claims upon him mightily stirring. A rising wildness caught his blood, quickened his pulse, woke longing and passion too. But chiefly snow. The snow whirred softly through his thoughts like white, seductive dreams.... For the snow had come; and She, it seemed, had somehow come with it—into his mind.
It was completely unjustified. He laughed as he stood in front of the mirror, grooming his mustache, trying to adjust his black tie, and making sure his dinner jacket lay smoothly over his shoulders. His brown eyes were very bright. "I look younger than I usually do," he thought. This was out of the ordinary, even notable, for a man who had no vanity about his looks and certainly never questioned his age or tried to appear younger than he was. Matters of the heart, aside from one intense exception that left no spark for lesser flings, had never bothered him. The energies of his soul and mind, not engaged in "work" or obvious responsibilities, were all directed toward Nature. He loved the desolate, wild parts of the earth; the night, and the beauty of the stars and snow. And this evening, he felt their pull strongly stirring within him. A rising wildness surged through his veins, quickening his pulse, awakening desire and passion as well. But mostly snow. The snow whirled softly through his thoughts like white, seductive dreams.... For the snow had arrived; and she, it seemed, had somehow come along with it—into his mind.
And yet he stood before that twisted mirror and pulled his tie and coat askew a dozen times, as though it mattered. "What in the world is up with me?" he thought. Then, laughing a little, he turned before leaving the room to put his private papers in order. The green morocco desk that held them he took down from the shelf and laid upon the table. Tied to the lid was the visiting card with his brother's London address "in case of accident." On the way down to the hotel he wondered why he had done this, for though imaginative, he was not the kind of man who dealt in presentiments. Moods with him were strong, but ever held in leash.
And yet he stood in front of that warped mirror and adjusted his tie and coat a dozen times, as if it made a difference. "What's wrong with me?" he thought. Then, chuckling a bit, he turned before leaving the room to organize his personal papers. He took the green morocco desk down from the shelf and placed it on the table. Tied to the lid was the business card with his brother's London address "in case of emergency." On his way down to the hotel, he wondered why he had done this, since even though he was imaginative, he wasn't the type to believe in premonitions. His moods were intense but always kept in check.
"It's almost like a warning," he thought, smiling. He drew his thick coat tightly round the throat as the freezing air bit at him. "Those warnings one reads of in stories sometimes ...!"
"It's almost like a warning," he thought, smiling. He pulled his thick coat tightly around his neck as the freezing air stung him. "Those warnings you read about in stories sometimes ...!"
A delicious happiness was in his blood. Over the edge of the hills across the valley rose the moon. He saw her silver sheet the world of snow. Snow covered all. It smothered sound and distance. It smothered houses, streets, and human beings. It smothered—life.
A delicious happiness flowed through his veins. The moon rose over the hills across the valley. He watched her silver glow blanket the snowy world. Snow covered everything. It quieted sounds and blurred distances. It enveloped houses, streets, and people. It smothered—life.
V
In the hall there was light and bustle; people were already arriving from the other hotels and châlets, their costumes hidden beneath many wraps. Groups of men in evening dress stood about smoking, talking "snow" and "ski-ing." The band was tuning up. The claims of the hotel-world clashed about him faintly as of old. At the big glass windows of the verandah, peasants stopped a moment on their way home from the café to peer. Hibbert thought laughingly of that conflict he used to imagine. He laughed because it suddenly seemed so unreal. He belonged so utterly to Nature and the mountains, and especially to those desolate slopes where now the snow lay thick and fresh and sweet, that there was no question of a conflict at all. The power of the newly fallen snow had caught him, proving it without effort. Out there, upon those lonely reaches of the moonlit ridges, the snow lay ready—masses and masses of it—cool, soft, inviting. He longed for it. It awaited him. He thought of the intoxicating delight of ski-ing in the moonlight....
In the hall, there was light and excitement; people were already coming in from the other hotels and chalets, their outfits hidden beneath layers of clothing. Groups of men in evening attire stood around smoking and talking about "snow" and "skiing." The band was tuning up. The discussions of the hotel scene echoed around him faintly like before. At the large glass windows of the veranda, locals paused briefly on their way home from the café to look in. Hibbert thought humorously about that imaginary conflict he used to envision. He laughed because it suddenly felt so unreal. He felt completely connected to Nature and the mountains, especially to those barren slopes where the snow now lay thick, fresh, and inviting. There was no question of a conflict at all. The power of the newly fallen snow had captivated him effortlessly. Out there, on those lonely stretches of the moonlit ridges, the snow lay ready—lots and lots of it—cool, soft, inviting. He longed for it. It was waiting for him. He thought of the exhilarating joy of skiing in the moonlight...
Thus, somehow, in vivid flashing vision, he thought of it while he stood there smoking with the other men and talking all the "shop" of ski-ing.
Thus, somehow, in a vivid flash of insight, he thought about it while he stood there smoking with the other guys and chatting about all the ski-related stuff.
And, ever mysteriously blended with this power of the snow, poured also through his inner being the power of the girl. He could not disabuse his mind of the insinuating presence of the two together. He remembered that queer skating-impulse of ten days ago, the impulse that had let her in. That any mind, even an imaginative one, could pass beneath the sway of such a fancy was strange enough; and Hibbert, while fully aware of the disorder, yet found a curious joy in yielding to it. This insubordinate centre that drew him towards old pagan beliefs had assumed command. With a kind of sensuous pleasure he let himself be conquered.
And ever so mysteriously mixed with the power of the snow, the influence of the girl also flowed through his inner being. He couldn't shake off the nagging feeling of their presence together. He recalled that odd impulse to skate from ten days ago, the one that had allowed her in. It was strange that any mind, even an imaginative one, could fall under the spell of such a fancy; yet, Hibbert, fully aware of the chaos, found a strange joy in giving in to it. This rebellious force that pulled him towards ancient beliefs had taken control. With a kind of sensual pleasure, he allowed himself to be overtaken.
And snow that night seemed in everybody's thoughts. The dancing couples talked of it; the hotel proprietors congratulated one another; it meant good sport and satisfied their guests; every one was planning trips and expeditions, talking of slopes and telemarks, of flying speed and distance, of drifts and crust and frost. Vitality and enthusiasm pulsed in the very air; all were alert and active, positive, radiating currents of creative life even into the stuffy atmosphere of that crowded ball-room. And the snow had caused it, the snow had brought it; all this discharge of eager sparkling energy was due primarily to the—Snow.
And the snow that night was on everyone's mind. The dancing couples were talking about it; the hotel owners were congratulating each other; it meant good times and made their guests happy; everyone was planning trips and adventures, discussing slopes and telemarks, flying speeds and distances, drifts and crusts and frost. Energy and excitement filled the air; everyone was alert and active, positive, radiating waves of creative life even in the stuffy atmosphere of that crowded ballroom. And it was the snow that caused it, the snow that brought it all; this burst of eager, sparkling energy was mainly because of the—Snow.
But in the mind of Hibbert, by some swift alchemy of his pagan yearnings, this energy became transmuted. It rarefied itself, gleaming in white and crystal currents of passionate anticipation, which he transferred, as by a species of electrical imagination, into the personality of the girl—the Girl of the Snow. She somewhere was waiting for him, expecting him, calling to him softly from those leagues of moonlit mountain. He remembered the touch of that cool, dry hand; the soft and icy breath against his cheek; the hush and softness of her presence in the way she came and the way she had gone again—like a flurry of snow the wind sent gliding up the slopes. She, like himself, belonged out there. He fancied that he heard her little windy voice come sifting to him through the snowy branches of the trees, calling his name ... that haunting little voice that dived straight to the centre of his life as once, long years ago, two other voices used to do....
But in Hibbert's mind, through some quick transformation of his pagan desires, this energy shifted. It refined itself, shimmering in bright and clear waves of eager anticipation, which he channeled, almost like a kind of electrical imagination, into the essence of the girl—the Girl of the Snow. She was out there somewhere, waiting for him, expecting him, softly calling to him from those miles of moonlit mountains. He recalled the feel of that cool, dry hand; the soft and chilly breath against his cheek; the quiet and gentle presence she had when she appeared and how she had left—like a flurry of snow the wind sent gliding up the slopes. She, like him, belonged out there. He imagined he could hear her soft, whispery voice drifting to him through the snowy branches of the trees, calling his name ... that haunting little voice that reached straight to the core of his life as once, many years ago, two other voices had done....
But nowhere among the costumed dancers did he see her slender figure. He danced with one and all, distrait and absent, a stupid partner as each girl discovered, his eyes ever turning towards the door and windows, hoping to catch the luring face, the vision that did not come ... and at length, hoping even against hope. For the ball-room thinned; groups left one by one, going home to their hotels and châlets; the band tired obviously; people sat drinking lemon-squashes at the little tables, the men mopping their foreheads, everybody ready for bed.
But he couldn't find her slender figure among all the costumed dancers. He danced with everyone, distracted and distant, a frustrating partner as each girl realized, his eyes constantly drifting to the door and windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of her enticing face, the sight that never appeared... and eventually, hoping even against all odds. The ballroom was thinning out; groups were leaving one by one, heading back to their hotels and chalets; the band was clearly worn out; people sat sipping lemonades at the little tables, the men wiping their foreheads, everyone ready for bed.
It was close on midnight. As Hibbert passed through the hall to get his overcoat and snow-boots, he saw men in the passage by the "sport-room," greasing their ski against an early start. Knapsack luncheons were being ordered by the kitchen swing doors. He sighed. Lighting a cigarette a friend offered him, he returned a confused reply to some question as to whether he could join their party in the morning. It seemed he did not hear it properly. He passed through the outer vestibule between the double glass doors, and went into the night.
It was almost midnight. As Hibbert walked through the hall to grab his overcoat and snow boots, he noticed guys in the hallway by the "sport-room," waxing their skis for an early start. The kitchen swing doors were buzzing with orders for knapsack lunches. He sighed. Lighting a cigarette that a friend had handed him, he gave a muddled response to a question about joining their group in the morning. It seemed like he hadn’t caught it right. He walked through the outer vestibule between the double glass doors and stepped out into the night.
The man who asked the question watched him go, an expression of anxiety momentarily in his eyes.
The man who asked the question watched him leave, a look of anxiety briefly in his eyes.
"Don't think he heard you," said another, laughing. "You've got to shout to Hibbert, his mind's so full of his work."
"Don't think he heard you," said another, laughing. "You have to shout to Hibbert; his mind is so focused on his work."
"He works too hard," suggested the first, "full of queer ideas and dreams."
"He works too hard," suggested the first, "filled with strange ideas and dreams."
But Hibbert's silence was not rudeness. He had not caught the invitation, that was all. The call of the hotel-world had faded. He no longer heard it. Another wilder call was sounding in his ears.
But Hibbert's silence wasn't rude. He just hadn't picked up on the invitation, that's all. The pull of the hotel world had faded. He could no longer hear it. A different, wilder call was ringing in his ears.
For up the street he had seen a little figure moving. Close against the shadows of the baker's shop it glided—white, slim, enticing.
For up the street, he spotted a small figure moving. It slipped along the shadows of the bakery—white, slender, and inviting.
VI
And at once into his mind passed the hush and softness of the snow—yet with it a searching, crying wildness for the heights. He knew by some incalculable, swift instinct she would not meet him in the village street. It was not there, amid crowding houses, she would speak to him. Indeed, already she had disappeared, melted from view up the white vista of the moonlit road. Yonder, he divined, she waited where the highway narrowed abruptly into the mountain path beyond the châlets.
And suddenly, he felt the quiet and gentleness of the snow—yet along with it, a wild longing for the heights. He instinctively knew she wouldn't meet him in the village street. It wasn’t there, among the crowded houses, that she would talk to him. In fact, she had already vanished, disappearing up the white stretch of the moonlit road. He sensed she was waiting where the main road sharply turned into the mountain path beyond the cabins.
It did not even occur to him to hesitate; mad though it seemed, and was—this sudden craving for the heights with her, at least for open spaces where the snow lay thick and fresh—it was too imperious to be denied. He does not remember going up to his room, putting the sweater over his evening clothes, and getting into the fur gauntlet gloves and the helmet cap of wool. Most certainly he has no recollection of fastening on his ski; he must have done it automatically. Some faculty of normal observation was in abeyance, as it were. His mind was out beyond the village—out with the snowy mountains and the moon.
It didn't even cross his mind to hesitate; crazy as it seemed, and it was—this sudden urge to be in the mountains with her, at least in open areas where the snow was thick and fresh—it was too strong to resist. He doesn't remember going to his room, putting on the sweater over his evening clothes, or slipping on the fur gloves and the wool hat. He definitely has no memory of strapping on his skis; he must have done it without thinking. Some part of his normal awareness was switched off, so to speak. His mind was already beyond the village—out with the snowy mountains and the moon.
Henri Défago, putting up the shutters over his café windows, saw him pass, and wondered mildly: "Un monsieur qui fait du ski à cette heure! Il est Anglais, done ...!" He shrugged his shoulders, as though a man had the right to choose his own way of death. And Marthe Perotti, the hunchback wife of the shoemaker, looking by chance from her window, caught his figure moving swiftly up the road. She had other thoughts, for she knew and believed the old traditions of the witches and snow-beings that steal the souls of men. She had even heard, 'twas said, the dreaded "synagogue" pass roaring down the street at night, and now, as then, she hid her eyes. "They've called to him ... and he must go," she murmured, making the sign of the cross.
Henri Défago, closing the shutters on his café windows, saw him pass by and thought mildly, "A guy skiing at this hour! He must be English...!" He shrugged, as if to say a man has the right to choose his own way to die. And Marthe Perotti, the hunchback wife of the shoemaker, happened to look out her window and spotted him moving quickly up the road. She had different thoughts, as she knew and believed in the old legends of witches and snow creatures that steal men’s souls. She had even heard, or so it was said, the dreaded "synagogue" roar down the street at night, and just like before, she hid her eyes. "They've called to him... and he has to go," she whispered, making the sign of the cross.
But no one sought to stop him. Hibbert recalls only a single incident until he found himself beyond the houses, searching for her along the fringe of forest where the moonlight met the snow in a bewildering frieze of fantastic shadows. And the incident was simply this—that he remembered passing the church. Catching the outline of its tower against the stars, he was aware of a faint sense of hesitation. A vague uneasiness came and went—jarred unpleasantly across the flow of his excited feelings, chilling exhilaration. He caught the instant's discord, dismissed it, and—passed on. The seduction of the snow smothered the hint before he realised that it had brushed the skirts of warning.
But no one tried to stop him. Hibbert only remembers one moment until he found himself past the houses, looking for her along the edge of the forest where the moonlight met the snow in an astonishing display of strange shadows. And that moment was simply this—he remembered passing the church. He saw the outline of its tower against the stars and felt a slight hesitation. A vague uneasiness flickered for a moment—interrupting the rush of his excited feelings and cooling his exhilaration. He noticed the sudden discord, pushed it aside, and—moved on. The allure of the snow muffled the warning before he realized it had touched his awareness.
And then he saw her. She stood there waiting in a little clear space of shining snow, dressed all in white, part of the moonlight and the glistening background, her slender figure just discernible.
And then he saw her. She stood there waiting in a small clear space of sparkling snow, dressed all in white, blending with the moonlight and the shimmering background, her slender figure barely visible.
"I waited, for I knew you would come," the silvery little voice of windy beauty floated down to him. "You had to come."
"I waited because I knew you would come," the soft, silvery voice of the gentle breeze drifted down to him. "You had to come."
"I'm ready," he answered, "I knew it too."
"I'm ready," he replied, "I knew it as well."
The world of Nature caught him to its heart in those few words—the wonder and the glory of the night and snow. Life leaped within him. The passion of his pagan soul exulted, rose in joy, flowed out to her. He neither reflected nor considered, but let himself go like the veriest schoolboy in the wildness of first love.
The world of Nature embraced him in those few words—the beauty and excitement of the night and snow. He felt a surge of life within him. The enthusiasm of his wild spirit soared, filled with joy, and extended towards her. He didn’t think or ponder; he just surrendered like a carefree schoolboy caught up in the thrill of first love.
"Give me your hand," he cried, "I'm coming ...!"
"Give me your hand," he shouted, "I'm coming...!"
"A little farther on, a little higher," came her delicious answer. "Here it is too near the village—and the church."
"A bit further along, a bit higher," came her delightful reply. "It's too close to the village—and the church."
And the words seemed wholly right and natural; he did not dream of questioning them; he understood that, with this little touch of civilisation in sight, the familiarity he suggested was impossible. Once out upon the open mountains, 'mid the freedom of huge slopes and towering peaks, the stars and moon to witness and the wilderness of snow to watch, they could taste an innocence of happy intercourse free from the dead conventions that imprison literal minds.
And the words felt completely right and natural; he never thought to question them; he realized that, with this little hint of civilization in view, the closeness he suggested was out of the question. Once they were out in the open mountains, surrounded by the freedom of vast slopes and towering peaks, with the stars and moon as their witnesses and the snowy wilderness to observe, they could experience a pure innocence of joyful connection, free from the stiff conventions that restrict literal thinking.
He urged his pace, yet did not quite overtake her. The girl kept always just a little bit ahead of his best efforts.... And soon they left the trees behind and passed on to the enormous slopes of the sea of snow that rolled in mountainous terror and beauty to the stars. The wonder of the white world caught him away. Under the steady moonlight it was more than haunting. It was a living, white, bewildering power that deliciously confused the senses and laid a spell of wild perplexity upon the heart. It was a personality that cloaked, and yet revealed, itself through all this sheeted whiteness of snow. It rose, went with him, fled before, and followed after. Slowly it dropped lithe, gleaming arms about his neck, gathering him in....
He quickened his pace, but couldn't quite catch up to her. The girl stayed just a little ahead of him, no matter how hard he tried... Soon, they left the trees behind and moved onto the vast slopes of the snow, which rolled in both daunting beauty and magnificence toward the stars. The wonder of the white landscape captivated him. Under the constant moonlight, it was more than just eerie; it was a living, white, mesmerizing energy that tantalizingly overwhelmed the senses and cast a spell of wild confusion on his heart. It felt like a presence that both concealed and revealed itself amidst all that white snow. It rose, walked with him, escaped ahead, and trailed behind. Gradually, it slipped cool, shimmering arms around his neck, drawing him in...
Certainly some soft persuasion coaxed his very soul, urging him ever forwards, upwards, on towards the higher icy slopes. Judgment and reason left their throne, it seemed, completely, as in the madness of intoxication. The girl, slim and seductive, kept always just ahead, so that he never quite came up with her. He saw the white enchantment of her face and figure, something that streamed about her neck flying like a wreath of snow in the wind, and heard the alluring accents of her whispering voice that called from time to time: "A little farther on, a little higher.... Then we'll run home together!"
Certainly some gentle persuasion urged him on, pushing him forward, upward, towards the higher icy slopes. It seemed that judgment and reason had completely abandoned him, as if he were caught in a state of intoxicated madness. The girl, slender and alluring, always stayed just ahead, preventing him from fully catching up with her. He saw the captivating beauty of her face and figure, something that flowed around her neck like a wreath of snow in the wind, and heard the enticing tones of her whispering voice calling out occasionally: "Just a little further, a little higher... Then we'll run home together!"
Sometimes he saw her hand stretched out to find his own, but each time, just as he came up with her, he saw her still in front, the hand and arm withdrawn. They took a gentle angle of ascent. The toil seemed nothing. In this crystal, wine-like air fatigue vanished. The sishing of the ski through the powdery surface of the snow was the only sound that broke the stillness; this, with his breathing and the rustle of her skirts, was all he heard. Cold moonshine, snow, and silence held the world. The sky was black, and the peaks beyond cut into it like frosted wedges of iron and steel. Far below the valley slept, the village long since hidden out of sight. He felt that he could never tire.... The sound of the church clock rose from time to time faintly through the air—more and more distant.
Sometimes he saw her hand reaching out to find his, but each time, just as he got close, he noticed her pulling it back. They climbed at a gentle angle. The effort felt effortless. In this crystal-clear, wine-like air, fatigue disappeared. The only sound that disturbed the silence was the swish of the ski gliding through the soft snow; this, along with his breathing and the rustling of her skirts, was all he could hear. Cold moonlight, snow, and silence enveloped the world. The sky was dark, and the peaks beyond jutted into it like frosted wedges of iron and steel. Far below, the valley was at rest, the village long hidden from view. He felt he could never tire... The sound of the church clock chimed faintly from time to time, growing more and more distant.
"Give me your hand. It's time now to turn back."
"Give me your hand. It's time to go back now."
"Just one more slope," she laughed. "That ridge above us. Then we'll make for home." And her low voice mingled pleasantly with the purring of their ski. His own seemed harsh and ugly by comparison.
"Just one more slope," she laughed. "That ridge above us. Then we'll head home." Her soft voice blended nicely with the sound of their skis. His own sounded rough and out of place next to hers.
"But I have never come so high before. It's glorious! This world of silent snow and moonlight—and you. You're a child of the snow, I swear. Let me come up—closer—to see your face—and touch your little hand."
"But I've never been this high before. It's amazing! This world of quiet snow and moonlight—and you. You're like a child of the snow, I swear. Let me come up—closer—to see your face—and touch your little hand."
Her laughter answered him.
Her laughter replied to him.
"Come on! A little higher. Here we're quite alone together."
"Come on! A bit higher. We're all alone together here."
"It's magnificent," he cried. "But why did you hide away so long? I've looked and searched for you in vain ever since we skated—" he was going to say "ten days ago," but the accurate memory of time had gone from him; he was not sure whether it was days or years or minutes. His thoughts of earth were scattered and confused.
"It's amazing," he exclaimed. "But why did you stay hidden for so long? I've been searching for you in vain ever since we skated—" he was about to say "ten days ago," but his sense of time was gone; he wasn't sure if it had been days, years, or just minutes. His thoughts about the world felt scattered and confused.
"You looked for me in the wrong places," he heard her murmur just above him. "You looked in places where I never go. Hotels and houses kill me. I avoid them." She laughed—a fine, shrill, windy little laugh.
"You searched for me in the wrong spots," he heard her whisper just above him. "You looked in places I never visit. Hotels and houses make me feel trapped. I steer clear of them." She laughed—a quick, high-pitched, airy little laugh.
"I loathe them too—"
"I hate them too—"
He stopped. The girl had suddenly come quite close. A breath of ice passed through his very soul. She had touched him.
He paused. The girl had unexpectedly come very close. A chill ran through his entire being. She had made contact with him.
"But this awful cold!" he cried out, sharply, "this freezing cold that takes me. The wind is rising; it's a wind of ice. Come, let us turn ...!"
"But this terrible cold!" he exclaimed, sharply, "this freezing cold that's enveloping me. The wind is picking up; it's an icy wind. Come on, let's turn ...!"
But when he plunged forward to hold her, or at least to look, the girl was gone again. And something in the way she stood there a few feet beyond, and stared down into his eyes so steadfastly in silence, made him shiver. The moonlight was behind her, but in some odd way he could not focus sight upon her face, although so close. The gleam of eyes he caught, but all the rest seemed white and snowy as though he looked beyond her—out into space....
But when he reached out to grab her, or at least to see her, the girl was gone again. And something about the way she stood a few feet away, staring silently and intensely into his eyes, made him shiver. The moonlight was behind her, but for some strange reason, he couldn't focus on her face, even though she was so close. He could see the shine of her eyes, but everything else seemed blank and bright, as if he was looking past her—out into the void...
The sound of the church bell came up faintly from the valley far below, and he counted the strokes—five. A sudden, curious weakness seized him as he listened. Deep within it was, deadly yet somehow sweet, and hard to resist. He felt like sinking down upon the snow and lying there.... They had been climbing for five hours.... It was, of course, the warning of complete exhaustion.
The sound of the church bell echoed faintly from the valley far below, and he counted the chimes—five. A sudden, strange weakness washed over him as he listened. Deep inside it was, fatal yet somehow appealing, and hard to fight off. He felt like collapsing onto the snow and lying there.... They had been climbing for five hours.... It was, of course, the sign of total exhaustion.
With a great effort he fought and overcame it. It passed away as suddenly as it came.
With a lot of effort, he fought and got through it. It disappeared just as suddenly as it appeared.
"We'll turn," he said with a decision he hardly felt. "It will be dawn before we reach the village again. Come at once. It's time for home."
"We'll turn," he said, making a decision he barely felt. "It'll be dawn before we get back to the village. Come on. It's time to head home."
The sense of exhilaration had utterly left him. An emotion that was akin to fear swept coldly through him. But her whispering answer turned it instantly to terror—a terror that gripped him horribly and turned him weak and unresisting.
The feeling of excitement had completely faded. A sensation similar to fear chilled him. But her whispered response instantly transformed it into pure terror—a terror that held him tight, leaving him weak and unable to resist.
"Our home is—here!" A burst of wild, high laughter, loud and shrill, accompanied the words. It was like a whistling wind. The wind had risen, and clouds obscured the moon. "A little higher—where we cannot hear the wicked bells," she cried, and for the first time seized him deliberately by the hand. She moved, was suddenly close against his face. Again she touched him.
"Our home is—here!" A burst of wild, high laughter, loud and sharp, followed her words. It was like a whistling wind. The wind had picked up, and clouds were covering the moon. "A little higher—where we can't hear the evil bells," she shouted, and for the first time, she intentionally took his hand. She moved in, suddenly close to his face. Again, she touched him.
And Hibbert tried to turn away in escape, and so trying, found for the first time that the power of the snow—that other power which does not exhilarate but deadens effort—was upon him. The suffocating weakness that it brings to exhausted men, luring them to the sleep of death in her clinging soft embrace, lulling the will and conquering all desire for life—this was awfully upon him. His feet were heavy and entangled. He could not turn or move.
And Hibbert tried to turn away and escape, but in doing so, he realized for the first time that the power of the snow—that other force that doesn't uplift but drains energy—was upon him. The suffocating weakness it brings to exhausted people, pulling them into a death-like sleep in its clinging, soft embrace, lulling the will and defeating all desire for life—this was overwhelmingly on him. His feet felt heavy and entangled. He couldn’t turn or move.
The girl stood in front of him, very near; he felt her chilly breath upon his cheeks; her hair passed blindingly across his eyes; and that icy wind came with her. He saw her whiteness close; again, it seemed, his sight passed through her into space as though she had no face. Her arms were round his neck. She drew him softly downwards to his knees. He sank; he yielded utterly; he obeyed. Her weight was upon him, smothering, delicious. The snow was to his waist.... She kissed him softly on the lips, the eyes, all over his face. And then she spoke his name in that voice of love and wonder, the voice that held the accent of two others—both taken over long ago by Death—the voice of his mother, and of the woman he had loved.
The girl stood close to him, her chilly breath brushing against his cheeks; her hair swept blindingly across his eyes, and that icy wind came with her. He could see her whiteness up close; once again, it felt like his gaze passed through her into the void as if she didn’t have a face. Her arms wrapped around his neck. She gently pulled him down to his knees. He sank; he completely surrendered; he followed her lead. Her weight was on him, overwhelming yet pleasurable. The snow was up to his waist... She kissed him softly on the lips, on the eyes, all over his face. Then she said his name in that voice filled with love and wonder, a voice that carried the tone of two others—both long since taken by Death—the voice of his mother and the woman he had loved.
He made one more feeble effort to resist. Then, realising even while he struggled that this soft weight about his heart was sweeter than anything life could ever bring, he let his muscles relax, and sank back into the soft oblivion of the covering snow. Her wintry kisses bore him into sleep.
He made one last weak attempt to resist. Then, realizing even as he fought that this gentle weight on his heart was sweeter than anything life could ever offer, he let his muscles relax and sank back into the soft oblivion of the snow. Her chilly kisses carried him into sleep.
VII
They say that men who know the sleep of exhaustion in the snow find no awakening on the hither side of death.... The hours passed and the moon sank down below the white world's rim. Then, suddenly, there came a little crash upon his breast and neck, and Hibbert—woke.
They say that guys who experience the deep sleep of exhaustion in the snow don’t wake up on this side of death.... The hours went by, and the moon dipped below the edge of the white landscape. Then, all of a sudden, there was a little crash on his chest and neck, and Hibbert—woke.
He slowly turned bewildered, heavy eyes upon the desolate mountains, stared dizzily about him, tried to rise. At first his muscles would not act; a numbing, aching pain possessed him. He uttered a long, thin cry for help, and heard its faintness swallowed by the wind. And then he understood vaguely why he was only warm—not dead. For this very wind that took his cry had built up a sheltering mound of driven snow against his body while he slept. Like a curving wave it ran beside him. It was the breaking of its over-toppling edge that caused the crash, and the coldness of the mass against his neck that woke him.
He slowly turned his confused, heavy eyes toward the empty mountains, looked around him in a daze, and tried to get up. At first, his muscles wouldn’t respond; a numbing, aching pain consumed him. He let out a long, thin scream for help, and heard its faintness get swallowed by the wind. Then he vaguely realized why he was only warm—not dead. Because that very wind that took his cry had piled up a protective mound of blown snow against his body while he slept. It curved like a wave beside him. It was the breaking of its crumbling edge that caused the crash, and the coldness of the mass against his neck that woke him.
Dawn kissed the eastern sky; pale gleams of gold shot every peak with splendour; but ice was in the air, and the dry and frozen snow blew like powder from the surface of the slopes. He saw the points of his ski projecting just below him. Then he—remembered. It seems he had just strength enough to realise that, could he but rise and stand, he might fly with terrific impetus towards the woods and village far beneath. The ski would carry him. But if he failed and fell ...!
Dawn brightened the eastern sky; soft golden glimmers lit up every peak with beauty; but there was a chill in the air, and the dry, frozen snow blew around him like powder from the slopes. He noticed the tips of his skis just below him. Then he remembered. It seemed he had just enough strength to realize that if he could get up and stand, he could soar with incredible speed towards the woods and the village far below. The skis would take him there. But if he failed and fell ...!
How he contrived it Hibbert never knew; this fear of death somehow called out his whole available reserve force. He rose slowly, balanced a moment, then, taking the angle of an immense zigzag, started down the awful slopes like an arrow from a bow. And automatically the splendid muscles of the practised ski-er and athlete saved and guided him, for he was hardly conscious of controlling either speed or direction. The snow stung face and eyes like fine steel shot; ridge after ridge flew past; the summits raced across the sky; the valley leaped up with bounds to meet him. He scarcely felt the ground beneath his feet as the huge slopes and distance melted before the lightning speed of that descent from death to life.
How Hibbert managed it, he never understood; this fear of death somehow tapped into all his available strength. He stood up slowly, paused for a moment, then took off down the steep slopes in a wild zigzag, like an arrow shot from a bow. Instinctively, the amazing muscles of the experienced skier and athlete took over, guiding him, as he barely registered controlling either his speed or direction. The snow blasted his face and eyes like tiny steel pellets; ridge after ridge flew by; the peaks raced across the sky; the valley seemed to leap up to meet him. He hardly felt the ground beneath him as the vast slopes and distances blurred away during that lightning-fast descent from death to life.
He took it in four mile-long zigzags, and it was the turning at each corner that nearly finished him, for then the strain of balancing taxed to the verge of collapse the remnants of his strength.
He navigated it in four mile-long zigzags, and it was the turn at each corner that almost did him in, because the effort to maintain his balance pushed what little strength he had left to the breaking point.
Slopes that have taken hours to climb can be descended in a short half-hour on ski, but Hibbert had lost all count of time. Quite other thoughts and feelings mastered him in that wild, swift dropping through the air that was like the flight of a bird. For ever close upon his heels came following forms and voices with the whirling snow-dust. He heard that little silvery voice of death and laughter at his back. Shrill and wild, with the whistling of the wind past his ears, he caught its pursuing tones; but in anger now, no longer soft and coaxing. And it was accompanied; she did not follow alone. It seemed a host of these flying figures of the snow chased madly just behind him. He felt them furiously smite his neck and cheeks, snatch at his hands and try to entangle his feet and ski in drifts. His eyes they blinded, and they caught his breath away.
Slopes that take hours to climb can be descended in just half an hour on skis, but Hibbert had completely lost track of time. Different thoughts and feelings took over him as he raced down through the air, feeling like a bird in flight. Right behind him came more figures and voices carried by the swirling snow. He heard that little silvery voice of death and laughter trailing him. Sharp and wild, with the wind whistling past his ears, he caught its chasing tones, but now it was angry, no longer soft and seductive. And it wasn’t just one voice; she wasn’t alone. It felt like a whole crowd of these snow figures was chasing him madly just behind. He felt them fiercely hit his neck and cheeks, grab at his hands, and try to trip him up in the snowdrifts. They blinded his eyes and took his breath away.
The terror of the heights and snow and winter desolation urged him forward in the maddest race with death a human being ever knew; and so terrific was the speed that before the gold and crimson had left the summits to touch the ice-lips of the lower glaciers, he saw the friendly forest far beneath swing up and welcome him.
The fear of the heights and the snowy winter desolation pushed him into the craziest race against death that anyone has ever experienced; and the speed was so intense that before the gold and crimson light had left the peaks to touch the icy edges of the lower glaciers, he saw the welcoming forest far below rise up to greet him.
And it was then, moving slowly along the edge of the woods, he saw a light. A man was carrying it. A procession of human figures was passing in a dark line laboriously through the snow. And—he heard the sound of chanting.
And it was then, moving slowly along the edge of the woods, he saw a light. A man was carrying it. A line of people was trudging through the snow in the dark. And—he heard the sound of chanting.
Instinctively, without a second's hesitation, he changed his course. No longer flying at an angle as before, he pointed his ski straight down the mountain-side. The dreadful steepness did not frighten him. He knew full well it meant a crashing tumble at the bottom, but he also knew it meant a doubling of his speed—with safety at the end. For, though no definite thought passed through his mind, he understood that it was the village curé who carried that little gleaming lantern in the dawn, and that he was taking the Host to a châlet on the lower slopes—to some peasant in extremis. He remembered her terror of the church and bells. She feared the holy symbols.
Instinctively, without a moment's hesitation, he changed his path. No longer flying at an angle like before, he pointed his ski straight down the mountainside. The terrifying steepness didn’t scare him. He fully understood it meant a hard crash at the bottom, but he also knew it meant he would double his speed—with safety at the end. For, although no specific thought crossed his mind, he realized it was the village priest who carried that little shining lantern in the dawn, and he was taking the Eucharist to a cabin on the lower slopes—to some peasant on the brink of death. He remembered her fear of the church and the bells. She was afraid of the holy symbols.
There was one last wild cry in his ears as he started, a shriek of the wind before his face, and a rush of stinging snow against closed eyelids—and then he dropped through empty space. Speed took sight from him. It seemed he flew off the surface of the world.
There was one last wild scream in his ears as he began, a howl of the wind in front of him, and a flurry of biting snow against his closed eyelids—and then he fell through empty air. Speed blinded him. It felt like he was soaring off the edge of the world.
Indistinctly he recalls the murmur of men's voices, the touch of strong arms that lifted him, and the shooting pains as the ski were unfastened from the twisted ankle ... for when he opened his eyes again to normal life he found himself lying in his bed at the post office with the doctor at his side. But for years to come the story of "mad Hibbert's" ski-ing at night is recounted in that mountain village. He went, it seems, up slopes, and to a height that no man in his senses ever tried before. The tourists were agog about it for the rest of the season, and the very same day two of the bolder men went over the actual ground and photographed the slopes. Later Hibbert saw these photographs. He noticed one curious thing about them—though he did not mention it to any one:
Indistinctly he recalls the murmur of men's voices, the grip of strong arms that lifted him, and the sharp pains as the skis were unbuckled from his twisted ankle... because when he opened his eyes again to reality, he found himself lying in his bed at the post office with the doctor beside him. But for years to come, the tale of "mad Hibbert's" nighttime skiing is told in that mountain village. It seems he went up slopes to a height that no sane person ever attempted before. The tourists were buzzing about it for the rest of the season, and the very same day, two of the braver men checked out the actual spot and took pictures of the slopes. Later, Hibbert saw these photos. He noticed one strange thing about them—though he didn’t mention it to anyone:
There was only a single track.
There was just one track.
Sand
I
As Felix Henriot came through the streets that January night the fog was stifling, but when he reached his little flat upon the top floor there came a sound of wind. Wind was stirring about the world. It blew against his windows, but at first so faintly that he hardly noticed it. Then, with an abrupt rise and fall like a wailing voice that sought to claim attention, it called him. He peered through the window into the blurred darkness, listening.
As Felix Henriot walked through the streets that January night, the fog was suffocating, but when he reached his small apartment on the top floor, he heard the wind. The wind was moving across the world. It hit against his windows, but at first so softly that he barely noticed it. Then, with a sudden rise and fall like a crying voice trying to get his attention, it called to him. He looked out the window into the hazy darkness, listening.
There is no cry in the world like that of the homeless wind. A vague excitement, scarcely to be analysed, ran through his blood. The curtain of fog waved momentarily aside. Henriot fancied a star peeped down at him.
There’s no sound in the world like the cry of the homeless wind. A vague thrill, hard to pin down, coursed through his veins. The fog briefly parted. Henriot thought he saw a star looking down at him.
"It will change things a bit—at last," he sighed, settling back into his chair. "It will bring movement!"
"It'll change things a bit—finally," he sighed, leaning back in his chair. "It'll bring some action!"
Already something in himself had changed. A restlessness, as of that wandering wind, woke in his heart—the desire to be off and away. Other things could rouse this wildness too: falling water, the singing of a bird, an odour of wood-fire, a glimpse of winding road. But the cry of wind, always searching, questioning, travelling the world's great routes, remained ever the master-touch. High longing took his mood in hand. Mid seven millions he felt suddenly—lonely.
Already something in him had changed. A restlessness, like that wandering wind, stirred in his heart—the desire to get up and go. Other things could spark this wildness too: falling water, the song of a bird, the smell of wood smoke, a peek at a winding road. But the call of the wind, always searching, questioning, traveling the world's vast routes, remained the ultimate touch. A deep longing gripped his mood. Among seven million people, he suddenly felt—lonely.
He murmured the words over softly to himself. The emotion that produced Innisfree passed strongly through him. He too would be over the hills and far away. He craved movement, change, adventure—somewhere far from shops and crowds and motor-'busses. For a week the fog had stifled London. This wind brought life.
He softly whispered the words to himself. The feeling that inspired Innisfree flowed strongly through him. He too wanted to escape to the hills and far away. He longed for movement, change, adventure—somewhere far from stores, crowds, and buses. For a week, the fog had suffocated London. This wind brought new life.
Where should he go? Desire was long; his purse was short.
Where should he go? He wanted a lot; his money was limited.
He glanced at his books, letters, newspapers. They had no interest now. Instead he listened. The panorama of other journeys rolled in colour through the little room, flying on one another's heels. Henriot enjoyed this remembered essence of his travels more than the travels themselves. The crying wind brought so many voices, all of them seductive:
He looked at his books, letters, and newspapers. They held no appeal now. Instead, he listened. The memories of other journeys played out in vibrant colors through the small room, intertwining with one another. Henriot found this essence of his travels more enjoyable than the trips themselves. The howling wind carried so many voices, all of them alluring:
There was a soft crashing of waves upon the Black Sea shores, where the huge Caucasus beckoned in the sky beyond; a rustling in the umbrella pines and cactus at Marseilles, whence magic steamers start about the world like flying dreams. He heard the plash of fountains upon Mount Ida's slopes, and the whisper of the tamarisk on Marathon. It was dawn once more upon the Ionian Sea, and he smelt the perfume of the Cyclades. Blue-veiled islands melted in the sunshine, and across the dewy lawns of Tempe, moistened by the spray of many waterfalls, he saw—Great Heavens above!—the dancing of white forms ... or was it only mist the sunshine painted against Pelion?... "Methought, among the lawns together, we wandered underneath the young grey dawn. And multitudes of dense white fleecy clouds shepherded by the slow, unwilling wind...."
There was a gentle crashing of waves on the Black Sea shores, where the massive Caucasus loomed in the sky beyond; a rustling in the umbrella pines and cactus at Marseille, from where magical steamers set off to explore the world like flying dreams. He heard the sound of fountains on the slopes of Mount Ida, and the whisper of the tamarisk on Marathon. It was dawn once again over the Ionian Sea, and he smelled the fragrance of the Cyclades. Blue-veiled islands faded in the sunlight, and across the dewy lawns of Tempe, dampened by the spray of many waterfalls, he saw—Great Heavens above!—the dancing of white forms ... or was it just mist that the sunshine was painting against Pelion?... "I thought, among the lawns together, we wandered beneath the young grey dawn. And countless dense, white, fluffy clouds shepherded by the slow, unwilling wind...."
And then, into his stuffy room, slipped the singing perfume of a wall-flower on a ruined tower, and with it the sweetness of hot ivy. He heard the "yellow bees in the ivy bloom." Wind whipped over the open hills—this very wind that laboured drearily through the London fog.
And then, into his cramped room, came the fragrant scent of a wallflower on a decaying tower, along with the sweetness of warm ivy. He heard the "yellow bees in the ivy blossoms." The wind rushed over the open hills—this same wind that struggled tiredly through the London fog.
And—he was caught. The darkness melted from the city. The fog whisked off into an azure sky. The roar of traffic turned into booming of the sea. There was a whistling among cordage, and the floor swayed to and fro. He saw a sailor touch his cap and pocket the two-franc piece. The syren hooted—ominous sound that had started him on many a journey of adventure—and the roar of London became mere insignificant clatter of a child's toy carriages.
And—he was caught. The darkness vanished from the city. The fog floated away into a clear blue sky. The noise of traffic transformed into the crashing of the sea. He heard a whistling among the ropes, and the floor rocked back and forth. He saw a sailor tip his cap and pocket the two-franc coin. The siren honked—an ominous sound that had sparked countless adventures for him—and the roar of London turned into the trivial clattering of a child's toy cars.
He loved that syren's call; there was something deep and pitiless in it. It drew the wanderers forth from cities everywhere: "Leave your known world behind you, and come with me for better or for worse! The anchor is up; it is too late to change. Only—beware! You shall know curious things—and alone!"
He loved that siren's call; there was something profound and merciless in it. It lured wanderers out of cities everywhere: "Leave your familiar world behind and come with me, for better or for worse! The anchor is up; it's too late to turn back. Just—be careful! You will discover strange things—and alone!"
Henriot stirred uneasily in his chair. He turned with sudden energy to the shelf of guide-books, maps and time-tables—possessions he most valued in the whole room. He was a happy-go-lucky, adventure-loving soul, careless of common standards, athirst ever for the new and strange.
Henriot shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He quickly turned to the shelf filled with guidebooks, maps, and timetables—his most prized possessions in the whole room. He was an easygoing, adventure-seeking person, indifferent to conventional standards, always eager for the new and unusual.
"That's the best of having a cheap flat," he laughed, "and no ties in the world. I can turn the key and disappear. No one cares or knows—no one but the thieving caretaker. And he's long ago found out that there's nothing here worth taking!"
"That's the best part about having an inexpensive apartment," he laughed, "and no attachments at all. I can just lock the door and vanish. No one cares or notices—except for the sneaky caretaker. And he's figured out long ago that there's nothing here worth stealing!"
There followed then no lengthy indecision. Preparation was even shorter still. He was always ready for a move, and his sojourn in cities was but breathing-space while he gathered pennies for further wanderings. An enormous kit-bag—sack-shaped, very worn and dirty—emerged speedily from the bottom of a cupboard in the wall. It was of limitless capacity. The key and padlock rattled in its depths. Cigarette ashes covered everything while he stuffed it full of ancient, indescribable garments. And his voice, singing of those "yellow bees in the ivy bloom," mingled with the crying of the rising wind about his windows. His restlessness had disappeared by magic.
There was no long hesitation after that. The preparation was even quicker. He was always ready to move, and his time in the cities was just a break while he saved up for more travels. A huge bag—sack-shaped, very worn and dirty—quickly appeared from the bottom of a cupboard in the wall. It had unlimited space. The key and padlock rattled inside it. Cigarette ashes covered everything as he stuffed it full of old, indescribable clothes. And his voice, singing about "yellow bees in the ivy bloom," blended with the howling wind outside his windows. His restlessness had vanished like magic.
This time, however, there could be no haunted Pelion, nor shady groves of Tempe, for he lived in sophisticated times when money markets regulated movement sternly. Travelling was only for the rich; mere wanderers must pig it. He remembered instead an opportune invitation to the Desert. "Objective" invitation, his genial hosts had called it, knowing his hatred of convention. And Helouan danced into letters of brilliance upon the inner map of his mind. For Egypt had ever held his spirit in thrall, though as yet he had tried in vain to touch the great buried soul of her. The excavators, the Egyptologists, the archaeologists most of all, plastered her grey ancient face with labels like hotel advertisements on travellers' portmanteaux. They told where she had come from last, but nothing of what she dreamed and thought and loved. The heart of Egypt lay beneath the sand, and the trifling robbery of little details that poked forth from tombs and temples brought no true revelation of her stupendous spiritual splendour. Henriot, in his youth, had searched and dived among what material he could find, believing once—or half believing—that the ceremonial of that ancient system veiled a weight of symbol that was reflected from genuine supersensual knowledge. The rituals, now taken literally, and so pityingly explained away, had once been genuine pathways of approach. But never yet, and least of all in his previous visits to Egypt itself, had he discovered one single person, worthy of speech, who caught at his idea. "Curious," they said, then turned away—to go on digging in the sand. Sand smothered her world to-day. Excavators discovered skeletons. Museums everywhere stored them—grinning, literal relics that told nothing.
This time, though, there were no haunted Pelion or shady Tempe groves, because he lived in an era where money markets strictly controlled movement. Travel was only for the wealthy; ordinary wanderers had to struggle. He instead recalled an unexpected invitation to the Desert. His friendly hosts had called it an "objective" invitation, fully aware of his disdain for convention. And Helouan danced into vivid images on the inner map of his mind. Egypt had always captivated his spirit, but he had yet to connect with her great buried soul. The excavators, Egyptologists, and especially the archaeologists plastered her gray ancient face with labels like hotel ads on travelers' luggage. They detailed where she came from last but revealed nothing of her dreams, thoughts, and loves. The heart of Egypt lay beneath the sand, and the trivial theft of tiny details emerging from tombs and temples offered no real insight into her immense spiritual beauty. In his youth, Henriot had searched and explored all the material he could find, once believing—or half-believing—that the rituals of that ancient system concealed a depth of symbols reflecting true higher knowledge. The rituals, now taken literally and sadly explained away, had once been genuine paths of approach. But never, not even during his prior visits to Egypt, had he encountered a single person worthy of conversation who understood his idea. "Curious," they would say, then turn away to keep digging in the sand. Sand suffocated her world today. Excavators unearthed skeletons. Museums everywhere displayed them—grinning, literal relics that revealed nothing.
But now, while he packed and sang, these hopes of enthusiastic younger days stirred again—because the emotion that gave them birth was real and true in him. Through the morning mists upon the Nile an old pyramid bowed hugely at him across London roofs: "Come," he heard its awful whisper beneath the ceiling, "I have things to show you, and to tell." He saw the flock of them sailing the Desert like weird grey solemn ships that make no earthly port. And he imagined them as one: multiple expressions of some single unearthly portent they adumbrated in mighty form—dead symbols of some spiritual conception long vanished from the world.
But now, as he packed and sang, those hopes from his enthusiastic younger days came to life again—because the feelings that sparked them were real and genuine in him. Through the morning mist over the Nile, an old pyramid loomed large against the London skyline: "Come," he heard its eerie whisper above him, "I have things to show you and tell you." He saw them gliding across the Desert like strange, gray ships that have no earthly destination. And he imagined them as one: different expressions of some single otherworldly omen they represented in grand form—lifeless symbols of some spiritual idea long gone from the world.
"I mustn't dream like this," he laughed, "or I shall get absent-minded and pack fire-tongs instead of boots. It looks like a jumble sale already!" And he stood on a heap of things to wedge them down still tighter.
"I shouldn't dream like this," he laughed, "or I'll get distracted and pack fire tongs instead of boots. It already looks like a jumble sale!" And he stood on a pile of things to cram them down even tighter.
But the pictures would not cease. He saw the kites circling high in the blue air. A couple of white vultures flapped lazily away over shining miles. Felucca sails, like giant wings emerging from the ground, curved towards him from the Nile. The palm-trees dropped long shadows over Memphis. He felt the delicious, drenching heat, and the Khamasin, that over-wind from Nubia, brushed his very cheeks. In the little gardens the mish-mish was in bloom.... He smelt the Desert ... grey sepulchre of cancelled cycles.... The stillness of her interminable reaches dropped down upon old London....
But the images wouldn’t stop. He saw the kites circling high in the blue sky. A pair of white vultures lazily flapped away over gleaming miles. Felucca sails, like giant wings rising from the earth, curved toward him from the Nile. The palm trees cast long shadows over Memphis. He felt the delicious, soaking heat, and the Khamasin, that strong wind from Nubia, brushed against his cheeks. In the small gardens, the apricot trees were in bloom... He smelled the Desert... gray tomb of forgotten cycles.... The stillness of its endless stretches descended upon old London....
The magic of the sand stole round him in its silent-footed tempest.
The magic of the sand swirled around him in its quiet storm.
And while he struggled with that strange, capacious sack, the piles of clothing ran into shapes of gleaming Bedouin faces; London garments settled down with the mournful sound of camels' feet, half dropping wind, half water flowing underground—sound that old Time has brought over into modern life and left a moment for our wonder and perhaps our tears.
And as he dealt with that strange, oversized bag, the heaps of clothing morphed into shiny Bedouin faces; London clothes settled with the heavy sound of camel feet, half like the wind and half like water flowing underground—a sound that old Time has carried into modern life, leaving a moment for us to marvel at and perhaps shed a few tears.
He rose at length with the excitement of some deep enchantment in his eyes. The thought of Egypt plunged ever so deeply into him, carrying him into depths where he found it difficult to breathe, so strangely far away it seemed, yet indefinably familiar. He lost his way. A touch of fear came with it.
He eventually stood up, his eyes filled with a thrill of enchantment. The idea of Egypt affected him profoundly, taking him to depths where he found it hard to breathe; it felt strangely distant yet unforgettably familiar. He lost his sense of direction. A hint of fear accompanied that.
"A sack like that is the wonder of the world," he laughed again, kicking the unwieldy, sausage-shaped monster into a corner of the room, and sitting down to write the thrilling labels: "Felix Henriot, Alexandria via Marseilles." But his pen blotted the letters; there was sand in it. He rewrote the words. Then he remembered a dozen things he had left out. Impatiently, yet with confusion somewhere, he stuffed them in. They ran away into shifting heaps; they disappeared; they emerged suddenly again. It was like packing hot, dry, flowing sand. From the pockets of a coat—he had worn it last summer down Dorset way—out trickled sand. There was sand in his mind and thoughts.
"A sack like that is a wonder of the world," he laughed again, kicking the awkward, sausage-shaped monster into a corner of the room and sitting down to write the exciting labels: "Felix Henriot, Alexandria via Marseilles." But his pen smeared the letters; there was sand in it. He rewrote the words. Then he recalled a dozen things he had forgotten. Impatiently, yet with some confusion, he crammed them in. They scattered into shifting piles; they disappeared; they suddenly reappeared. It was like packing hot, dry, flowing sand. From the pockets of a coat—he had worn it last summer down in Dorset—sand trickled out. There was sand in his mind and thoughts.
And his dreams that night were full of winds, the old sad winds of Egypt, and of moving, sifting sand. Arabs and Afreets danced amazingly together across dunes he could never reach. For he could not follow fast enough. Something infinitely older than these ever caught his feet and held him back. A million tiny fingers stung and pricked him. Something flung a veil before his eyes. Once it touched him—his face and hands and neck. "Stay here with us," he heard a host of muffled voices crying, but their sound was smothered, buried, rising through the ground. A myriad throats were choked. Till, at last, with a violent effort he turned and seized it. And then the thing he grasped at slipped between his fingers and ran easily away. It had a grey and yellow face, and it moved through all its parts. It flowed as water flows, and yet was solid. It was centuries old.
And that night, his dreams were filled with winds, the old sad winds of Egypt, and shifting sand. Arabs and Afreets danced together across dunes he could never reach. He couldn’t keep up. Something much older than him was holding him back. A million tiny fingers stung and pricked him. Something threw a veil over his eyes. Once it touched him—his face, hands, and neck. "Stay here with us," he heard a multitude of muffled voices crying, but their sound was muffled, buried, and rising up from the ground. Countless throats were choked. Finally, with a sudden effort, he turned and grabbed it. But then what he grabbed slipped through his fingers and escaped easily. It had a grey and yellow face, and it moved fluidly. It flowed like water flows, yet it was solid. It was centuries old.
He cried out to it. "Who are you? What is your name? I surely know you ... but I have forgotten ...?"
He shouted at it, "Who are you? What's your name? I definitely know you... but I can't remember...?"
And it stopped, turning from far away its great uncovered countenance of nameless colouring. He caught a voice. It rolled and boomed and whispered like the wind. And then he woke, with a curious shaking in his heart, and a little touch of chilly perspiration on the skin.
And it stopped, turning away its vast, exposed face of unknown colors. He heard a voice. It rolled and echoed and whispered like the wind. Then he woke up, with a strange shaking in his heart and a slight chill of sweat on his skin.
But the voice seemed in the room still—close beside him:
But the voice felt present in the room—right next to him:
"I am the Sand," he heard, before it died away.
"I am the Sand," he heard, before it faded away.
And next he realised that the glitter of Paris lay behind him, and a steamer was taking him with much unnecessary motion across a sparkling sea towards Alexandria. Gladly he saw the Riviera fade below the horizon, with its hard bright sunshine, treacherous winds, and its smear of rich, conventional English. All restlessness now had left him. True vagabond still at forty, he only felt the unrest and discomfort of life when caught in the network of routine and rigid streets, no chance of breaking loose. He was off again at last, money scarce enough indeed, but the joy of wandering expressing itself in happy emotions of release. Every warning of calculation was stifled. He thought of the American woman who walked out of her Long Island house one summer's day to look at a passing sail—and was gone eight years before she walked in again. Eight years of roving travel! He had always felt respect and admiration for that woman.
And then he realized that the sparkle of Paris was behind him, and a steamer was taking him with a lot of unnecessary movement across a sparkling sea toward Alexandria. He happily watched the Riviera disappear below the horizon, with its harsh bright sunshine, fickle winds, and its mix of rich, typical English. All restlessness had left him now. True wanderer at forty, he only felt the unease and discomfort of life when trapped in the web of routine and rigid streets, with no chance of breaking free. He was off again at last, money tight, but the joy of wandering spilling over in the happy feelings of freedom. Every warning of caution was silenced. He thought of the American woman who walked out of her Long Island house one summer day to look at a passing sail—and didn’t come back for eight years. Eight years of traveling! He had always felt respect and admiration for that woman.
For Felix Henriot, with his admixture of foreign blood, was philosopher as well as vagabond, a strong poetic and religious strain sometimes breaking out through fissures in his complex nature. He had seen much life; had read many books. The passionate desire of youth to solve the world's big riddles had given place to a resignation filled to the brim with wonder. Anything might be true. Nothing surprised him. The most outlandish beliefs, for all he knew, might fringe truth somewhere. He had escaped that cheap cynicism with which disappointed men soothe their vanity when they realise that an intelligible explanation of the universe lies beyond their powers. He no longer expected final answers.
For Felix Henriot, who had a mix of foreign heritage, was both a philosopher and a wanderer, with a strong poetic and spiritual side sometimes breaking through the cracks of his complex personality. He had experienced a lot in life and read many books. The intense urge of youth to unravel the world's big mysteries had shifted to a resignation filled with wonder. Anything might be true. Nothing shocked him. The wildest beliefs, for all he knew, might touch on reality somewhere. He had moved past that shallow cynicism that disappointed people use to protect their egos when they realize that a clear explanation of the universe is beyond their grasp. He no longer expected definitive answers.
For him, even the smallest journeys held the spice of some adventure; all minutes were loaded with enticing potentialities. And they shaped for themselves somehow a dramatic form. "It's like a story," his friends said when he told his travels. It always was a story.
For him, even the shortest trips had a touch of excitement; every minute was filled with appealing possibilities. And somehow, they took on a dramatic shape. "It's like a story," his friends said when he shared his travels. It always was a story.
But the adventure that lay waiting for him where the silent streets of little Helouan kiss the great Desert's lips, was of a different kind to any Henriot had yet encountered. Looking back, he has often asked himself, "How in the world can I accept it?"
But the adventure waiting for him where the quiet streets of little Helouan meet the vast Desert was unlike anything Henriot had ever experienced. Looking back, he often wondered, "How on earth can I accept this?"
And, perhaps, he never yet has accepted it. It was sand that brought it. For the Desert, the stupendous thing that mothers little Helouan, produced it.
And maybe he still hasn't accepted it. It was sand that brought it. The Desert, the incredible place that gives life to little Helouan, created it.
II
He slipped through Cairo with the same relief that he left the Riviera, resenting its social vulgarity so close to the imperial aristocracy of the Desert; he settled down into the peace of soft and silent little Helouan. The hotel in which he had a room on the top floor had been formerly a Khedivial Palace. It had the air of a palace still. He felt himself in a country-house, with lofty ceilings, cool and airy corridors, spacious halls. Soft-footed Arabs attended to his wants; white walls let in light and air without a sign of heat; there was a feeling of a large, spread tent pitched on the very sand; and the wind that stirred the oleanders in the shady gardens also crept in to rustle the palm leaves of his favourite corner seat. Through the large windows where once the Khedive held high court, the sunshine blazed upon vistaed leagues of Desert.
He slipped through Cairo with the same relief he felt leaving the Riviera, annoyed by its social vulgarity so close to the elite class of the Desert; he settled into the tranquility of the quiet and peaceful Helouan. The hotel where he had a room on the top floor used to be a Khedivial Palace. It still had the ambiance of a palace. He felt like he was in a country house, with high ceilings, cool airy hallways, and spacious rooms. Soft-footed locals catered to his needs; white walls allowed in light and air without any sign of heat; it felt like a large tent pitched directly on the sand; and the wind that stirred the oleanders in the shady gardens also came in to rustle the palm leaves of his favorite corner seat. Through the large windows where the Khedive once held court, the sunlight flooded in, illuminating endless stretches of Desert.
And from his bedroom windows he watched the sun dip into gold and crimson behind the swelling Libyan sands. This side of the pyramids he saw the Nile meander among palm groves and tilled fields. Across his balcony railings the Egyptian stars trooped down beside his very bed, shaping old constellations for his dreams; while, to the south, he looked out upon the vast untamable Body of the sands that carpeted the world for thousands of miles towards Upper Egypt, Nubia, and the dread Sahara itself. He wondered again why people thought it necessary to go so far afield to know the Desert. Here, within half an hour of Cairo, it lay breathing solemnly at his very doors.
And from his bedroom windows, he watched the sun set in gold and crimson behind the rising Libyan sands. On this side of the pyramids, he saw the Nile winding through palm groves and cultivated fields. Across his balcony railings, the Egyptian stars gathered right beside his bed, forming familiar constellations for his dreams; while to the south, he gazed out at the vast, wild stretch of sand that covered thousands of miles toward Upper Egypt, Nubia, and the daunting Sahara itself. He again wondered why people felt the need to travel so far to experience the Desert. Here, just half an hour from Cairo, it lay, breathing solemnly right at his doorstep.
For little Helouan, caught thus between the shoulders of the Libyan and Arabian Deserts, is utterly sand-haunted. The Desert lies all round it like a sea. Henriot felt he never could escape from it, as he moved about the island whose coasts are washed with sand. Down each broad and shining street the two end houses framed a vista of its dim immensity—glimpses of shimmering blue, or flame-touched purple. There were stretches of deep sea-green as well, far off upon its bosom. The streets were open channels of approach, and the eye ran down them as along the tube of a telescope laid to catch incredible distance out of space. Through them the Desert reached in with long, thin feelers towards the village. Its Being flooded into Helouan, and over it. Past walls and houses, churches and hotels, the sea of Desert pressed in silently with its myriad soft feet of sand. It poured in everywhere, through crack and slit and crannie. These were reminders of possession and ownership. And every passing wind that lifted eddies of dust at the street corners were messages from the quiet, powerful Thing that permitted Helouan to lie and dream so peacefully in the sunshine. Mere artificial oasis, its existence was temporary, held on lease, just for ninety-nine centuries or so.
For little Helouan, caught between the Libyan and Arabian Deserts, is completely haunted by sand. The Desert surrounds it like an ocean. Henriot felt he could never escape it as he moved around the island, whose shores are covered in sand. Down each broad, shining street, the two end houses framed a view of its dim vastness—glimpses of shimmering blue or fiery purple. There were also stretches of deep sea-green far out on its surface. The streets were open passages, and the eye traveled down them like a telescope aimed to capture incredible distances in space. Through them, the Desert reached in with long, thin tendrils towards the village. Its presence flooded into Helouan and over it. Past walls and houses, churches and hotels, the sea of Desert pressed in silently with its countless soft feet of sand. It seeped in everywhere, through cracks and gaps. These were reminders of possession and ownership. And every passing wind that stirred up dust at the street corners carried messages from the quiet, powerful force that allowed Helouan to lie and dream so peacefully in the sunlight. A mere artificial oasis, its existence was temporary, held on lease for just about ninety-nine centuries or so.
This sea idea became insistent. For, in certain lights, and especially in the brief, bewildering dusk, the Desert rose—swaying towards the small white houses. The waves of it ran for fifty miles without a break. It was too deep for foam or surface agitation, yet it knew the swell of tides. And underneath flowed resolute currents, linking distance to the centre. These many deserts were really one. A storm, just retreated, had tossed Helouan upon the shore and left it there to dry; but any morning he would wake to find it had been carried off again into the depths. Some fragment, at least, would disappear. The grim Mokattam Hills were rollers that ever threatened to topple down and submerge the sandy bar that men called Helouan.
This ocean idea became persistent. In certain lights, especially during the brief, confusing dusk, the Desert appeared—swaying towards the small white houses. Its waves stretched for fifty miles without interruption. It was too deep for foam or surface agitation, yet it felt the rise and fall of tides. Beneath, strong currents flowed, connecting the distance to the center. These many deserts were truly one. A storm had just passed, tossing Helouan onto the shore and leaving it there to dry; but any morning, he'd wake to find it had been swept back into the depths. At least some piece would vanish. The harsh Mokattam Hills were like rollers always threatening to crash down and cover the sandy bar that people called Helouan.
Being soundless, and devoid of perfume, the Desert's message reached him through two senses only—sight and touch; chiefly, of course, the former. Its invasion was concentrated through the eyes. And vision, thus uncorrected, went what pace it pleased. The Desert played with him. Sand stole into his being—through the eyes.
Being silent and lacking any scent, the Desert's message reached him through just two senses—sight and touch; mainly, of course, sight. Its influence came primarily through his eyes. And sight, thus unfiltered, moved at its own speed. The Desert toyed with him. Sand seeped into his existence—through his eyes.
And so obsessing was this majesty of its close presence, that Henriot sometimes wondered how people dared their little social activities within its very sight and hearing; how they played golf and tennis upon reclaimed edges of its face, picnicked so blithely hard upon its frontiers, and danced at night while this stern, unfathomable Thing lay breathing just beyond the trumpery walls that kept it out. The challenge of their shallow admiration seemed presumptuous, almost provocative. Their pursuit of pleasure suggested insolent indifference. They ran fool-hardy hazards, he felt; for there was no worship in their vulgar hearts. With a mental shudder, sometimes he watched the cheap tourist horde go laughing, chattering past within view of its ancient, half-closed eyes. It was like defying deity.
And so obsessed was this ruler by its close presence that Henriot sometimes wondered how people had the nerve to engage in their little social activities right in its sight and hearing; how they played golf and tennis on the reclaimed edges of its surface, picnicked so carefree near its borders, and danced at night while this stern, unfathomable Thing lay breathing just beyond the flimsy walls that kept it away. The challenge of their shallow admiration seemed presumptuous, almost provoking. Their pursuit of pleasure gave off a sense of arrogant indifference. He felt they were taking reckless risks; there was no reverence in their crass hearts. With a mental shudder, sometimes he watched the cheap tourist crowd go laughing and chatting by, oblivious to its ancient, half-closed eyes. It felt like defying a deity.
For, to his stirred imagination the sublimity of the Desert dwarfed humanity. These people had been wiser to choose another place for the flaunting of their tawdry insignificance. Any minute this Wilderness, "huddled in grey annihilation," might awake and notice them ...!
For his vivid imagination, the greatness of the Desert made humanity seem small. These people would have been smarter to pick a different spot to show off their cheap insignificance. Any moment now, this Wilderness, "huddled in grey annihilation," might wake up and notice them...!
In his own hotel were several "smart," so-called "Society" people who emphasised the protest in him to the point of definite contempt. Overdressed, the latest worldly novel under their arms, they strutted the narrow pavements of their tiny world, immensely pleased with themselves. Their vacuous minds expressed themselves in the slang of their exclusive circle—value being the element excluded. The pettiness of their outlook hardly distressed him—he was too familiar with it at home—but their essential vulgarity, their innate ugliness, seemed more than usually offensive in the grandeur of its present setting. Into the mighty sands they took the latest London scandal, gabbling it over even among the Tombs and Temples. And "it was to laugh," the pains they spent wondering whom they might condescend to know, never dreaming that they themselves were not worth knowing. Against the background of the noble Desert their titles seemed the cap and bells of clowns.
In his hotel, there were several "smart," so-called "society" people who pushed his irritation to the point of outright disdain. Overdressed and clutching the latest trendy novel, they strutted along the narrow sidewalks of their little world, clearly pleased with themselves. Their empty minds communicated in the slang of their exclusive circle—value being the one thing they didn’t consider. The pettiness of their perspective barely bothered him—he was too used to it at home—but their fundamental vulgarity and natural ugliness felt especially offensive in such a grand setting. They brought the latest London gossip into the majestic sands, chattering about it even among the Tombs and Temples. It was almost laughable, the effort they put into deciding whom they might lower themselves to acknowledge, never realizing that they themselves weren’t worth knowing. Against the backdrop of the stunning Desert, their titles looked like the cap and bells of fools.
And Henriot, knowing some of them personally, could not always escape their insipid company. Yet he was the gainer. They little guessed how their commonness heightened contrast, set mercilessly thus beside the strange, eternal beauty of the sand.
And Henriot, knowing some of them personally, couldn't always get away from their dull company. Yet he benefited from it. They had no idea how their ordinariness made the stunning, timeless beauty of the sand stand out even more.
Occasionally the protest in his soul betrayed itself in words, which of course they did not understand. "He is so clever, isn't he?" And then, having relieved his feelings, he would comfort himself characteristically:
Occasionally, the unrest in his soul showed itself in words, which they obviously didn't understand. "He's really smart, isn't he?" And then, after expressing his feelings, he would typically calm himself down:
"The Desert has not noticed them. The Sand is not aware of their existence. How should the sea take note of rubbish that lies above its tide-line?"
"The Desert hasn't noticed them. The Sand isn't aware of their existence. How could the sea pay attention to trash that lies above its tide line?"
For Henriot drew near to its great shifting altars in an attitude of worship. The wilderness made him kneel in heart. Its shining reaches led to the oldest Temple in the world, and every journey that he made was like a sacrament. For him the Desert was a consecrated place. It was sacred.
For Henriot approached its massive, changing altars with a sense of reverence. The wildness made him humble inside. Its bright expanses led to the oldest temple in the world, and every journey he took felt like a sacred ritual. To him, the Desert was a holy place. It was sacred.
And his tactful hosts, knowing his peculiarities, left their house open to him when he cared to come—they lived upon the northern edge of the oasis—and he was as free as though he were absolutely alone. He blessed them; he rejoiced that he had come. Little Helouan accepted him. The Desert knew that he was there.
And his thoughtful hosts, aware of his quirks, kept their home open to him whenever he wanted to visit—they lived on the northern edge of the oasis—and he felt as free as if he were entirely alone. He expressed his gratitude to them and was glad he came. Little Helouan welcomed him. The Desert acknowledged his presence.
From his corner of the big dining-room he could see the other guests, but his roving eye always returned to the figure of a solitary man who sat at an adjoining table, and whose personality stirred his interest. While affecting to look elsewhere, he studied him as closely as might be. There was something about the stranger that touched his curiosity—a certain air of expectation that he wore. But it was more than that: it was anticipation, apprehension in it somewhere. The man was nervous, uneasy. His restless way of suddenly looking about him proved it. Henriot tried every one else in the room as well; but, though his thought settled on others too, he always came back to the figure of this solitary being opposite, who ate his dinner as if afraid of being seen, and glanced up sometimes as if fearful of being watched. Henriot's curiosity, before he knew it, became suspicion. There was mystery here. The table, he noticed, was laid for two.
From his corner of the big dining room, he could see the other guests, but his wandering gaze always returned to the lone man sitting at the next table, whose presence piqued his interest. While pretending to look elsewhere, he studied him as closely as he could. There was something about this stranger that captured his curiosity—a certain air of expectation surrounding him. But it was more than that: there was an element of anticipation, even apprehension, in his demeanor. The man appeared nervous and uneasy. His restless habit of glancing around the room confirmed it. Henriot also observed everyone else in the room; yet, despite his thoughts drifting to others, he always returned to this solitary figure across from him, who ate his dinner as if he were afraid of being seen and occasionally looked up as if he feared being watched. Before he realized it, Henriot's curiosity turned into suspicion. There was an air of mystery here. He noticed that the table was set for two.
"Is he an actor, a priest of some strange religion, an enquiry agent, or just—a crank?" was the thought that first occurred to him. And the question suggested itself without amusement. The impression of subterfuge and caution he conveyed left his observer unsatisfied.
"Is he an actor, a priest of some weird religion, a private investigator, or just—a weirdo?" was the thought that first came to him. And the question popped up without any humor. The vibe of secrecy and wariness he gave off left his observer feeling uneasy.
The face was clean shaven, dark, and strong; thick hair, straight yet bushy, was slightly unkempt; it was streaked with grey; and an unexpected mobility when he smiled ran over the features that he seemed to hold rigid by deliberate effort. The man was cut to no quite common measure. Henriot jumped to an intuitive conclusion: "He's not here for pleasure or merely sight-seeing. Something serious has brought him out to Egypt." For the face combined too ill-assorted qualities: an obstinate tenacity that might even mean brutality, and was certainly repulsive, yet, with it, an undecipherable dreaminess betrayed by lines of the mouth, but above all in the very light blue eyes, so rarely raised. Those eyes, he felt, had looked upon unusual things; "dreaminess" was not an adequate description; "searching" conveyed it better. The true source of the queer impression remained elusive. And hence, perhaps, the incongruous marriage in the face—mobility laid upon a matter-of-fact foundation underneath. The face showed conflict.
The face was clean-shaven, dark, and strong; thick, straight, yet messy hair had a slight touch of gray. There was an unexpected liveliness in his smile that contrasted with the rigid features he seemed to control with effort. This man wasn't ordinary. Henriot quickly concluded, "He's not here for fun or just to sightsee. Something serious has brought him to Egypt." The face held conflicting traits: a stubborn determination that could even hint at brutality, which was certainly off-putting, yet there was also an unexplainable dreaminess reflected in the lines of his mouth and especially in his very light blue eyes, which were rarely lifted. Henriot sensed those eyes had seen remarkable things; "dreaminess" didn't quite capture it, while "searching" described it better. The true source of the strange impression stayed unclear. This might explain the odd combination in his face—expressiveness layered over a solid, down-to-earth base. The face revealed inner conflict.
And Henriot, watching him, felt decidedly intrigued. "I'd like to know that man, and all about him." His name, he learned later, was Richard Vance; from Birmingham; a business man. But it was not the Birmingham he wished to know; it was the—other: cause of the elusive, dreamy searching. Though facing one another at so short a distance, their eyes, however, did not meet. And this, Henriot well knew, was a sure sign that he himself was also under observation. Richard Vance, from Birmingham, was equally taking careful note of Felix Henriot, from London.
And Henriot, watching him, felt really intrigued. "I want to know that guy and everything about him." He later learned the man's name was Richard Vance; he was from Birmingham and was a businessman. But it wasn't the Birmingham he was interested in; it was the—other: the reason for the elusive, dreamy searching. Even though they were facing each other at such a close distance, their eyes didn’t meet. Henriot knew this was a clear sign that he was also being watched. Richard Vance, from Birmingham, was also carefully observing Felix Henriot, from London.
Thus, he could wait his time. They would come together later. An opportunity would certainly present itself. The first links in a curious chain had already caught; soon the chain would tighten, pull as though by chance, and bring their lives into one and the same circle. Wondering in particular for what kind of a companion the second cover was laid, Henriot felt certain that their eventual coming together was inevitable. He possessed this kind of divination from first impressions, and not uncommonly it proved correct.
Thus, he could bide his time. They would meet again later. An opportunity would definitely arise. The initial connections in a strange sequence had already started; soon the chain would tighten, pulling as if by coincidence, and bringing their lives into the same circle. Curious about what kind of companion the second cover was meant for, Henriot felt certain that their eventual meeting was unavoidable. He had a knack for reading first impressions, and more often than not, he was right.
Following instinct, therefore, he took no steps towards acquaintance, and for several days, owing to the fact that he dined frequently with his hosts, he saw nothing more of Richard Vance, the business man from Birmingham. Then, one night, coming home late from his friend's house, he had passed along the great corridor, and was actually a step or so into his bedroom, when a drawling voice sounded close behind him. It was an unpleasant sound. It was very near him too—
Following his instincts, he didn't try to get to know anyone. Since he often dined with his hosts, he didn't see Richard Vance, the businessman from Birmingham, for several days. Then one night, coming home late from a friend's place, he walked down the long hallway and had actually taken a step into his bedroom when a slow, dragging voice came from right behind him. It was an unpleasant sound and too close for comfort—
"I beg your pardon, but have you, by any chance, such a thing as a compass you could lend me?"
"Excuse me, but do you have a compass I could borrow?"
The voice was so close that he started. Vance stood within touching distance of his body. He had stolen up like a ghostly Arab, must have followed him, too, some little distance, for further down the passage the light of an open door—he had passed it on his way—showed where he came from.
The voice was so close that he jumped. Vance was standing right next to him. He had snuck up like a ghostly figure, probably having followed him for a bit, because further down the hallway, the light from an open door—he had seen it on his way—indicated where he came from.
"Eh? I beg your pardon? A—compass, did you say?" He felt disconcerted for a moment. How short the man was, now that he saw him standing. Broad and powerful too. Henriot looked down upon his thick head of hair. The personality and voice repelled him. Possibly his face, caught unawares, betrayed this.
"Excuse me? Did you say a compass?" He felt a bit thrown off for a moment. The man was so short now that he saw him standing. He was also broad and strong. Henriot looked down at his thick head of hair. The guy's personality and voice turned him off. Maybe his face, caught off guard, showed this feeling.
"Forgive my startling you," said the other apologetically, while the softer expression danced in for a moment and disorganised the rigid set of the face. "The soft carpet, you know. I'm afraid you didn't hear my tread. I wondered"—he smiled again slightly at the nature of the request—"if—by any chance—you had a pocket compass you could lend me?"
"Sorry for surprising you," the other person said apologetically, as a softer look crossed their face for a moment, breaking the rigid expression. "The soft carpet, you know. I’m afraid you didn't notice me walk in. I was wondering,"—he smiled slightly at the nature of the request—"if—by any chance—you have a pocket compass you could lend me?"
"Ah, a compass, yes! Please don't apologise. I believe I have one—if you'll wait a moment. Come in, won't you? I'll have a look."
"Ah, a compass, yes! No need to apologize. I think I have one—if you don’t mind waiting a moment. Please come in! I’ll take a look."
The other thanked him but waited in the passage. Henriot, it so happened, had a compass, and produced it after a moment's search.
The other person thanked him but waited in the hallway. Henriot happened to have a compass and took it out after a moment of searching.
"I am greatly indebted to you—if I may return it in the morning. You will forgive my disturbing you at such an hour. My own is broken, and I wanted—er—to find the true north."
"I really appreciate your help—if I can return it tomorrow morning. I'm sorry to bother you at this late hour. My compass is broken, and I wanted—uh—to figure out which way is north."
Henriot stammered some reply, and the man was gone. It was all over in a minute. He locked his door and sat down in his chair to think. The little incident had upset him, though for the life of him he could not imagine why. It ought by rights to have been almost ludicrous, yet instead it was the exact reverse—half threatening. Why should not a man want a compass? But, again, why should he? And at midnight? The voice, the eyes, the near presence—what did they bring that set his nerves thus asking unusual questions? This strange impression that something grave was happening, something unearthly—how was it born exactly? The man's proximity came like a shock. It had made him start. He brought—thus the idea came unbidden to his mind—something with him that galvanised him quite absurdly, as fear does, or delight, or great wonder. There was a music in his voice too—a certain—well, he could only call it lilt, that reminded him of plainsong, intoning, chanting. Drawling was not the word at all.
Henriot stammered a reply, and the man was gone. It was all over in a minute. He locked his door and sat down in his chair to think. The little incident had upset him, though he couldn’t figure out why. It should have been almost funny, yet instead it felt completely the opposite—half threatening. Why wouldn’t a man want a compass? But then again, why would he? And at midnight? The voice, the eyes, the close presence—what was it that set his nerves on edge and made him ask such strange questions? This odd feeling that something serious was happening, something otherworldly—how did it come about, exactly? The man's closeness had shocked him. It made him jump. He thought—quite unexpectedly—that the man brought something with him that stirred him just as fear, joy, or great wonder does. There was a music in his voice too—a certain—well, he could only describe it as a lilt, reminiscent of plainsong, intoning, chanting. "Drawling" wasn’t the right word at all.
He tried to dismiss it as imagination, but it would not be dismissed. The disturbance in himself was caused by something not imaginary, but real. And then, for the first time, he discovered that the man had brought a faint, elusive suggestion of perfume with him, an aromatic odour, that made him think of priests and churches. The ghost of it still lingered in the air. Ah, here then was the origin of the notion that his voice had chanted: it was surely the suggestion of incense. But incense, intoning, a compass to find the true north—at midnight in a Desert hotel!
He tried to brush it off as just his imagination, but it wouldn't go away. The unease he felt was caused by something real, not imagined. Then, for the first time, he noticed that the man carried a faint, elusive hint of perfume with him, a fragrant scent that reminded him of priests and churches. The trace of it still hung in the air. Ah, so this was where the thought that his voice had chanted came from: it was definitely the scent of incense. But incense, chanting, a guide to find true north—at midnight in a desert hotel!
A touch of uneasiness ran through the curiosity and excitement that he felt.
A hint of uneasiness ran through the curiosity and excitement he felt.
And he undressed for bed. "Confound my old imagination," he thought, "what tricks it plays me! It'll keep me awake!"
And he got ready for bed. "Damn my silly imagination," he thought, "what tricks it plays on me! It's going to keep me awake!"
But the questions, once started in his mind, continued. He must find explanation of one kind or another before he could lie down and sleep, and he found it at length in—the stars. The man was an astronomer of sorts; possibly an astrologer into the bargain! Why not? The stars were wonderful above Helouan. Was there not an observatory on the Mokattam Hills, too, where tourists could use the telescopes on privileged days? He had it at last. He even stole out on to his balcony to see if the stranger perhaps was looking through some wonderful apparatus at the heavens. Their rooms were on the same side. But the shuttered windows revealed no stooping figure with eyes glued to a telescope. The stars blinked in their many thousands down upon the silent desert. The night held neither sound nor movement. There was a cool breeze blowing across the Nile from the Lybian Sands. It nipped; and he stepped back quickly into the room again. Drawing the mosquito curtains carefully about the bed, he put the light out and turned over to sleep.
But once the questions started swirling in his mind, they didn't stop. He needed to find some kind of explanation before he could lie down and sleep, and he finally found it in—the stars. The man was somewhat of an astronomer; maybe even an astrologer! Why not? The stars were magnificent above Helouan. Was there not an observatory on the Mokattam Hills, too, where tourists could use the telescopes on certain days? He had figured it out at last. He even sneaked out onto his balcony to see if the stranger was perhaps looking through some amazing device at the sky. Their rooms were on the same side. But the closed windows showed no hunched figure with eyes glued to a telescope. The stars twinkled in their thousands above the quiet desert. The night was devoid of sound and movement. A cool breeze was blowing from the Nile, coming from the Libyan Sands. It was sharp, and he quickly stepped back into the room. Carefully drawing the mosquito curtains around the bed, he turned off the light and turned over to sleep.
And sleep came quickly, contrary to his expectations, though it was a light and surface sleep. That last glimpse of the darkened Desert lying beneath the Egyptian stars had touched him with some hand of awful power that ousted the first, lesser excitement. It calmed and soothed him in one sense, yet in another, a sense he could not understand, it caught him in a net of deep, deep feelings whose mesh, while infinitely delicate, was utterly stupendous. His nerves this deeper emotion left alone: it reached instead to something infinite in him that mere nerves could neither deal with nor interpret. The soul awoke and whispered in him while his body slept.
And sleep arrived quickly, surprisingly, even though it was a light and shallow sleep. That last view of the dark Desert under the Egyptian stars had struck him with a powerful force that pushed aside the initial, lesser excitement. It calmed and comforted him in one way, yet in another way, which he couldn't fully grasp, it ensnared him in a web of profound emotions whose threads, while incredibly delicate, were immensely powerful. This deeper emotion didn’t agitate his nerves; instead, it connected with something boundless inside him that mere nerves couldn’t handle or understand. His soul stirred and whispered to him while his body rested.
And the little, foolish dreams that ran to and fro across this veil of surface sleep brought oddly tangled pictures of things quite tiny and at the same time of others that were mighty beyond words. With these two counters Nightmare played. They interwove. There was the figure of this dark-faced man with the compass, measuring the sky to find the true north, and there were hints of giant Presences that hovered just outside some curious outline that he traced upon the ground, copied in some nightmare fashion from the heavens. The excitement caused by his visitor's singular request mingled with the profounder sensations his final look at the stars and Desert stirred. The two were somehow inter-related.
And the little, silly dreams that darted around this shallow sleep brought together strangely mixed images of things that were really small and, at the same time, of others that were incredibly huge. Nightmare played with these two elements. They intertwined. There was a dark-faced man with a compass, trying to measure the sky to find true north, and there were hints of giant figures that hovered just outside some strange outline he traced on the ground, copied in a nightmare way from the heavens. The thrill from his visitor's unusual request blended with the deeper feelings stirred by his last look at the stars and the desert. The two somehow connected.
Some hours later, before this surface sleep passed into genuine slumber, Henriot woke—with an appalling feeling that the Desert had come creeping into his room and now stared down upon him where he lay in bed. The wind was crying audibly about the walls outside. A faint, sharp tapping came against the window panes.
Some hours later, before this light sleep turned into real slumber, Henriot woke up, overwhelmed by the terrible feeling that the Desert had crept into his room and was now looking down at him as he lay in bed. The wind was howling loudly around the walls outside. A soft, sharp tapping sounded against the window panes.
He sprang instantly out of bed, not yet awake enough to feel actual alarm, yet with the nightmare touch still close enough to cause a sort of feverish, loose bewilderment. He switched the lights on. A moment later he knew the meaning of that curious tapping, for the rising wind was flinging tiny specks of sand against the glass. The idea that they had summoned him belonged, of course, to dream.
He jumped out of bed right away, not fully awake enough to feel real panic, but still shaken by the nightmare enough to feel a bit disoriented. He turned on the lights. Moments later, he realized what the strange tapping was—it was the wind hurling tiny grains of sand against the window. The thought that they had called him, of course, was just part of the dream.
He opened the window, and stepped out on to the balcony. The stone was very cold under his bare feet. There was a wash of wind all over him. He saw the sheet of glimmering, pale desert near and far; and something stung his skin below the eyes.
He opened the window and stepped onto the balcony. The stone felt really cold under his bare feet. A rush of wind surrounded him. He looked out at the shimmering, pale desert both nearby and far away; something stung his skin right below his eyes.
"The sand," he whispered, "again the sand; always the sand. Waking or sleeping, the sand is everywhere—nothing but sand, sand, Sand...."
"The sand," he whispered, "it's the sand again; always the sand. Whether I'm awake or asleep, the sand is everywhere—nothing but sand, sand, sand...."
He rubbed his eyes. It was like talking in his sleep, talking to Someone who had questioned him just before he woke. But was he really properly awake? It seemed next day that he had dreamed it. Something enormous, with rustling skirts of sand, had just retreated far into the Desert. Sand went with it—flowing, trailing, smothering the world. The wind died down.
He rubbed his eyes. It felt like he was talking in his sleep, responding to someone who had asked him something just before he woke up. But was he actually awake? The next day, it seemed like it had all been a dream. Something massive, with rustling skirts of sand, had just moved far into the Desert. Sand followed it—flowing, trailing, covering everything. The wind calmed down.
And Henriot went back to sleep, caught instantly away into unconsciousness; covered, blinded, swept over by this spreading thing of reddish brown with the great, grey face, whose Being was colossal yet quite tiny, and whose fingers, wings and eyes were countless as the stars.
And Henriot fell back asleep, quickly slipping into unconsciousness; enveloped, blinded, and swept away by this expansive reddish-brown entity with the enormous grey face, whose existence was vast yet minuscule, and whose fingers, wings, and eyes were as countless as the stars.
But all night long it watched and waited, rising to peer above the little balcony, and sometimes entering the room and piling up beside his very pillow. He dreamed of Sand.
But all night long it watched and waited, rising to look over the little balcony, and sometimes coming into the room and piling up right next to his pillow. He dreamed of Sand.
III
For some days Henriot saw little of the man who came from Birmingham and pushed curiosity to a climax by asking for a compass in the middle of the night. For one thing, he was a good deal with his friends upon the other side of Helouan, and for another, he slept several nights in the Desert.
For a few days, Henriot barely saw the guy who came from Birmingham and peaked his curiosity by asking for a compass in the middle of the night. He spent a lot of time with his friends on the other side of Helouan, and on top of that, he slept in the Desert for several nights.
He loved the gigantic peace the Desert gave him. The world was forgotten there; and not the world merely, but all memory of it. Everything faded out. The soul turned inwards upon itself.
He loved the enormous peace the Desert provided him. The world was forgotten there; not just the world, but all memory of it. Everything faded away. The soul turned inward upon itself.
An Arab boy and donkey took out sleeping-bag, food and water to the Wadi Hof, a desolate gorge about an hour eastwards. It winds between cliffs whose summits rise some thousand feet above the sea. It opens suddenly, cut deep into the swaying world of level plateaux and undulating hills. It moves about too; he never found it in the same place twice—like an arm of the Desert that shifted with the changing lights. Here he watched dawns and sunsets, slept through the mid-day heat, and enjoyed the unearthly colouring that swept Day and Night across the huge horizons. In solitude the Desert soaked down into him. At night the jackals cried in the darkness round his cautiously-fed camp fire—small, because wood had to be carried—and in the day-time kites circled overhead to inspect him, and an occasional white vulture flapped across the blue. The weird desolation of this rocky valley, he thought, was like the scenery of the moon. He took no watch with him, and the arrival of the donkey boy an hour after sunrise came almost from another planet, bringing things of time and common life out of some distant gulf where they had lain forgotten among lost ages.
An Arab boy and his donkey brought a sleeping bag, food, and water to Wadi Hof, a barren gorge about an hour to the east. It winds between cliffs that rise about a thousand feet above the sea. It opens up unexpectedly, deeply carved into the swaying expanse of flat plateaus and rolling hills. It also moves; he never found it in the same spot twice—like an extension of the Desert that shifted with the changing light. Here, he watched sunrises and sunsets, napped through the midday heat, and savored the otherworldly colors that swept across the vast horizons during Day and Night. In solitude, the Desert seeped into him. At night, jackals called out in the darkness around his carefully tended campfire—small, since he had to carry the wood—and during the day, kites circled overhead to check him out, while an occasional white vulture flapped across the blue sky. The strange emptiness of this rocky valley, he thought, was like the landscape of the moon. He didn’t bring a watch, and the arrival of the donkey boy an hour after sunrise felt almost like it came from another planet, bringing reminders of time and ordinary life from some distant abyss where they had been forgotten among lost ages.
The short hour of twilight brought, too, a bewitchment into the silence that was a little less than comfortable. Full light or darkness he could manage, but this time of half things made him want to shut his eyes and hide. Its effect stepped over imagination. The mind got lost. He could not understand it. For the cliffs and boulders of discoloured limestone shone then with an inward glow that signalled to the Desert with veiled lanterns. The misshappen hills, carved by wind and rain into ominous outlines, stirred and nodded. In the morning light they retired into themselves, asleep. But at dusk the tide retreated. They rose from the sea, emerging naked, threatening. They ran together and joined shoulders, the entire army of them. And the glow of their sandy bodies, self-luminous, continued even beneath the stars. Only the moonlight drowned it. For the moonrise over the Mokattam Hills brought a white, grand loveliness that drenched the entire Desert. It drew a marvellous sweetness from the sand. It shone across a world as yet unfinished, whereon no life might show itself for ages yet to come. He was alone then upon an empty star, before the creation of things that breathed and moved.
The brief hour of twilight brought a kind of magic to the silence that felt a bit unsettling. He could handle full light or complete darkness, but this in-between time made him want to close his eyes and hide. Its impact went beyond imagination. His mind got lost in it. He couldn't grasp it. The cliffs and boulders of discolored limestone glowed with an inner light that communicated with the Desert like hidden lanterns. The oddly shaped hills, shaped by wind and rain into eerie outlines, stirred and seemed to nod. In the morning light, they withdrew into themselves, asleep. But at dusk, the tide pulled back. They emerged from the sea, bare and imposing. They came together, joining forces, the whole army of them. Their sandy bodies, glowing with their own light, continued to shine even under the stars. Only the moonlight could overshadow it. The moonrise over the Mokattam Hills brought a beautiful whiteness that enveloped the entire Desert. It drew a wonderful sweetness from the sand. It illuminated a world still incomplete, where no life would appear for ages to come. He was alone then on an empty star, before anything that breathed or moved was created.
What impressed him, however, more than everything else was the enormous vitality that rose out of all this apparent death. There was no hint of the melancholy that belongs commonly to flatness; the sadness of wide, monotonous landscape was not here. The endless repetition of sweeping vale and plateau brought infinity within measurable comprehension. He grasped a definite meaning in the phrase "world without end": the Desert had no end and no beginning. It gave him a sense of eternal peace, the silent peace that star-fields know. Instead of subduing the soul with bewilderment, it inspired with courage, confidence, hope. Through this sand which was the wreck of countless geological ages, rushed life that was terrific and uplifting, too huge to include melancholy, too deep to betray itself in movement. Here was the stillness of eternity. Behind the spread grey masque of apparent death lay stores of accumulated life, ready to break forth at any point. In the Desert he felt himself absolutely royal.
What impressed him more than anything else was the incredible energy that emerged from all this seeming death. There was no hint of the sadness usually associated with flatness; the sorrow of a wide, monotonous landscape was absent here. The endless repetition of sweeping valleys and plateaus brought infinity into understandable perspective. He understood the phrase "world without end" in a new way: the Desert had no beginning and no end. It filled him with a sense of eternal peace, the quiet tranquility that star fields possess. Instead of overwhelming the soul with confusion, it sparked courage, confidence, and hope. Through this sand, which was the remains of countless geological ages, surged life that was breathtaking and uplifting, too vast to allow for sadness, too profound to reveal itself in motion. Here was the stillness of eternity. Beneath the grey façade of seeming death lay stores of life, ready to burst forth at any moment. In the Desert, he felt utterly regal.
And this contrast of Life, veiling itself in Death, was a contradiction that somehow intoxicated. The Desert exhilaration never left him. He was never alone. A companionship of millions went with him, and he felt the Desert close, as stars are close to one another, or grains of sand.
And this contrast of Life hiding in Death was a contradiction that was somehow thrilling. The excitement of the Desert never left him. He was never alone. The companionship of millions accompanied him, and he felt the Desert surround him, like stars are close to each other, or grains of sand.
It was the Khamasin, the hot wind bringing sand, that drove him in—with the feeling that these few days and nights had been immeasurable, and that he had been away a thousand years. He came back with the magic of the Desert in his blood, hotel-life tasteless and insipid by comparison. To human impressions thus he was fresh and vividly sensitive. His being, cleaned and sensitized by pure grandeur, "felt" people—for a time at any rate—with an uncommon sharpness of receptive judgment. He returned to a life somehow mean and meagre, resuming insignificance with his dinner jacket. Out with the sand he had been regal; now, like a slave, he strutted self-conscious and reduced.
It was the Khamasin, the hot wind carrying sand, that drove him inside—with the feeling that those few days and nights had been endless, and that he had been gone for a thousand years. He returned with the magic of the Desert in his veins, and hotel life felt bland and dull by comparison. He was fresh and sharply aware of human interactions. His spirit, cleansed and heightened by pure greatness, "felt" people—with an unusual clarity of judgment, at least for a while. He came back to a life that felt somehow small and insignificant, slipping back into mediocrity with his dinner jacket. Out in the sand, he had felt royal; now, like a servant, he walked around self-consciously and diminished.
But this imperial standard of the Desert stayed a little time beside him, its purity focussing judgment like a lens. The specks of smaller emotions left it clear at first, and as his eye wandered vaguely over the people assembled in the dining-room, it was arrested with a vivid shock upon two figures at the little table facing him.
But this imperial standard of the Desert lingered for a moment beside him, its purity sharpening his judgment like a lens. The small emotions initially made it clear, and as his gaze drifted aimlessly over the people gathered in the dining room, it was suddenly drawn to two figures at the small table facing him.
He had forgotten Vance, the Birmingham man who sought the North at midnight with a pocket compass. He now saw him again, with an intuitive discernment entirely fresh. Before memory brought up her clouding associations, some brilliance flashed a light upon him. "That man," Henriot thought, "might have come with me. He would have understood and loved it!" But the thought was really this—a moment's reflection spread it, rather: "He belongs somewhere to the Desert; the Desert brought him out here." And, again, hidden swiftly behind it like a movement running below water—"What does he want with it? What is the deeper motive he conceals? For there is a deeper motive; and it is concealed."
He had forgotten Vance, the guy from Birmingham who headed North at midnight with a pocket compass. Now, he saw him again, with a fresh, intuitive understanding. Before memories could bring up their usual associations, a spark of insight lit him up. "That guy," Henriot thought, "could have come with me. He would have understood and loved it!" But really, the thought was this—a moment's reflection made it clear: "He belongs somewhere to the Desert; the Desert brought him out here." And then, again, hidden quickly behind it like something stirring beneath the surface—"What does he want with this? What is the deeper reason he’s hiding? Because there is a deeper reason; and it is hidden."
But it was the woman seated next him who absorbed his attention really, even while this thought flashed and went its way. The empty chair was occupied at last. Unlike his first encounter with the man, she looked straight at him. Their eyes met fully. For several seconds there was steady mutual inspection, while her penetrating stare, intent without being rude, passed searchingly all over his face. It was disconcerting. Crumbling his bread, he looked equally hard at her, unable to turn away, determined not to be the first to shift his gaze. And when at length she lowered her eyes he felt that many things had happened, as in a long period of intimate conversation. Her mind had judged him through and through. Questions and answer flashed. They were no longer strangers. For the rest of dinner, though he was careful to avoid direct inspection, he was aware that she felt his presence and was secretly speaking with him. She asked questions beneath her breath. The answers rose with the quickened pulses in his blood. Moreover, she explained Richard Vance. It was this woman's power that shone reflected in the man. She was the one who knew the big, unusual things. Vance merely echoed the rush of her vital personality.
But it was the woman sitting next to him who really captured his attention, even as that thought quickly passed through his mind. The empty chair was finally filled. Unlike his first encounter with the man, she looked directly at him. Their eyes locked. For several seconds, they engaged in a steady examination of each other, her intense gaze exploring his face without being impolite. It was unsettling. Crumbling his bread, he looked just as intently at her, unable to look away, determined not to be the first to break eye contact. When she finally lowered her gaze, he felt as if a lot had happened, like in a long conversation. She had assessed him thoroughly. Questions and answers flashed between them. They were no longer strangers. Throughout the rest of dinner, even though he was careful to avoid staring, he sensed that she was aware of his presence and was quietly communicating with him. She whispered questions to herself. The answers surged with the heightened rhythm of his heartbeat. Moreover, she provided insight about Richard Vance. It was this woman's influence that was reflected in the man. She was the one who understood the big, unusual things. Vance merely mirrored the energy of her dynamic personality.
This was the first impression that he got—from the most striking, curious face he had ever seen in a woman. It remained very near him all through the meal: she had moved to his table, it seemed she sat beside him. Their minds certainly knew contact from that moment.
This was the first impression he got—from the most striking, intriguing face he had ever seen on a woman. It stayed with him throughout the meal: she had moved to his table, and it felt like she was sitting right next to him. Their minds definitely connected from that moment.
It is never difficult to credit strangers with the qualities and knowledge that oneself craves for, and no doubt Henriot's active fancy went busily to work. But, none the less, this thing remained and grew: that this woman was aware of the hidden things of Egypt he had always longed to know. There was knowledge and guidance she could impart. Her soul was searching among ancient things. Her face brought the Desert back into his thoughts. And with it came—the sand.
It’s never hard to attribute the qualities and knowledge that you desire to strangers, and surely Henriot's imagination was at work. Still, there was something that persisted and expanded: this woman seemed to have insight into the hidden aspects of Egypt that he had always wanted to understand. She had knowledge and guidance to share. Her spirit was exploring the depths of ancient mysteries. Her face reminded him of the Desert. And along with that came—the sand.
Here was the flash. The sight of her restored the peace and splendour he had left behind him in his Desert camps. The rest, of course, was what his imagination constructed upon this slender basis. Only,—not all of it was imagination.
Here was the moment of clarity. Seeing her brought back the peace and beauty he had left behind in his Desert camps. The rest, of course, was just what his imagination built on this fragile foundation. Only—not everything was just in his head.
Now, Henriot knew little enough of women, and had no pose of "understanding" them. His experience was of the slightest; the love and veneration felt for his own mother had set the entire sex upon the heights. His affairs with women, if so they may be called, had been transient—all but those of early youth, which having never known the devastating test of fulfilment, still remained ideal and superb. There was unconscious humour in his attitude—from a distance; for he regarded women with wonder and respect, as puzzles that sweetened but complicated life, might even endanger it. He certainly was not a marrying man! But now, as he felt the presence of this woman so deliberately possess him, there came over him two clear, strong messages, each vivid with certainty. One was that banal suggestion of familiarity claimed by lovers and the like—he had often heard of it—"I have known that woman before; I have met her ages ago somewhere; she is strangely familiar to me"; and the other, growing out of it almost: "Have nothing to do with her; she will bring you trouble and confusion; avoid her, and be warned";—in fact, a distinct presentiment.
Now, Henriot didn’t know much about women and didn’t pretend to "understand" them. His experience was very limited; the love and admiration he felt for his mother placed all women on a pedestal. His interactions with women, if they could be called that, were brief—except for those in his early youth, which, having never faced the harsh reality of fulfillment, remained ideal and wonderful. There was an innocent humor in his attitude—from a distance; he viewed women with wonder and respect, as puzzles that sweetened but complicated life, and could even pose a risk. He definitely wasn’t the marrying type! But now, feeling this woman deliberately take hold of him, he experienced two clear, strong thoughts, each filled with certainty. One was that cliché of intimacy claimed by lovers and others—he had often heard it—“I know this woman; I’ve met her somewhere ages ago; she seems strangely familiar to me”; and the other, almost stemming from it: “Stay away from her; she’ll bring you trouble and confusion; avoid her, and take heed”;—in fact, a strong intuition.
Yet, although Henriot dismissed both impressions as having no shred of evidence to justify them, the original clear judgment, as he studied her extraordinary countenance, persisted through all denials The familiarity, and the presentiment, remained. There also remained this other—an enormous imaginative leap!—that she could teach him "Egypt."
Yet, even though Henriot brushed aside both impressions as completely unsubstantiated, his initial clear assessment, as he observed her remarkable face, lingered through all the denials. The familiarity, and the intuition, stayed with him. There was also this other—an incredible imaginative leap!—that she could teach him "Egypt."
He watched her carefully, in a sense fascinated. He could only describe the face as black, so dark it was with the darkness of great age. Elderly was the obvious, natural word; but elderly described the features only. The expression of the face wore centuries. Nor was it merely the coal-black eyes that betrayed an ancient, age-travelled soul behind them. The entire presentment mysteriously conveyed it. This woman's heart knew long-forgotten things—the thought kept beating up against him. There were cheek-bones, oddly high, that made him think involuntarily of the well-advertised Pharaoh, Ramases; a square, deep jaw; and an aquiline nose that gave the final touch of power. For the power undeniably was there, and while the general effect had grimness in it, there was neither harshness nor any forbidding touch about it. There was an implacable sternness in the set of lips and jaw, and, most curious of all, the eyelids over the steady eyes of black were level as a ruler. This level framing made the woman's stare remarkable beyond description. Henriot thought of an idol carved in stone, stone hard and black, with eyes that stared across the sand into a world of things non-human, very far away, forgotten of men. The face was finely ugly. This strange dark beauty flashed flame about it.
He watched her closely, almost mesmerized. The only way he could describe her face was black, so deeply dark that it seemed to carry the weight of great age. "Elderly" was the obvious word, but that only captured the features. The expression on her face spoke of centuries. It wasn't just her coal-black eyes that revealed an ancient, seasoned soul behind them; the entire presence mysteriously communicated this. This woman's heart held long-forgotten truths—the thought kept striking him. Her cheekbones were oddly high, reminding him involuntarily of the famous Pharaoh, Ramses; she had a strong, deep jaw and an aquiline nose that added the final touch of power. That power was unmistakable, and even though the overall appearance had a certain grimness, there was neither harshness nor any forbidding quality about it. The set of her lips and jaw had an unyielding sternness, and, most intriguingly, her eyelids over those steady black eyes were perfectly even. This level framing made her gaze remarkably striking. Henriot thought of an idol carved from stone, hard and black, with eyes that looked across the sands into a realm of non-human things, far away, forgotten by humanity. Her face was strikingly ugly. This strange dark beauty radiated a fierce intensity.
And, as the way ever was with him, Henriot next fell to constructing the possible lives of herself and her companion, though without much success. Imagination soon stopped dead. She was not old enough to be Vance's mother, and assuredly she was not his wife. His interest was more than merely piqued—it was puzzled uncommonly. What was the contrast that made the man seem beside her—vile? Whence came, too, the impression that she exercised some strong authority, though never directly exercised, that held him at her mercy? How did he guess that the man resented it, yet did not dare oppose, and that, apparently acquiescing good-humouredly, his will was deliberately held in abeyance, and that he waited sulkily, biding his time? There was furtiveness in every gesture and expression. A hidden motive lurked in him; unworthiness somewhere; he was determined yet ashamed. He watched her ceaselessly and with such uncanny closeness.
And, as he always did, Henriot started to imagine the possible lives of herself and her companion, though not with much success. Her imagination quickly hit a wall. She wasn’t old enough to be Vance’s mother, and she definitely wasn’t his wife. His interest was more than just piqued—it was genuinely confusing. What was it about her that made the man seem so lowly? Where did the sense come from that she had some kind of strong control over him, even if it was never overtly shown, that kept him at her mercy? How did she know that the man resented it, yet didn’t dare to challenge her, and that, while apparently going along with it in a good-natured way, his will was intentionally held back, waiting sulkily for his moment? There was a sense of secrecy in every move and look. A hidden motive lingered within him; a sense of unworthiness somewhere; he was both determined and ashamed. He watched her constantly, with an unsettling intensity.
Henriot imagined he divined all this. He leaped to the guess that his expenses were being paid. A good deal more was being paid besides. She was a rich relation, from whom he had expectations; he was serving his seven years, ashamed of his servitude, ever calculating escape—but, perhaps, no ordinary escape. A faint shudder ran over him. He drew in the reins of imagination.
Henriot thought he understood all this. He jumped to the conclusion that his expenses were being covered. A lot more was being paid for, too. She was a wealthy relative, from whom he hoped to inherit; he was doing his seven years, embarrassed by his situation, always planning his getaway—but maybe not just any getaway. A slight shiver went through him. He pulled back his imagination.
Of course, the probabilities were that he was hopelessly astray—one usually is on such occasions—but this time, it so happened, he was singularly right. Before one thing only his ready invention stopped every time. This vileness, this notion of unworthiness in Vance, could not be negative merely. A man with that face was no inactive weakling. The motive he was at such pains to conceal, betraying its existence by that very fact, moved, surely, towards aggressive action. Disguised, it never slept. Vance was sharply on the alert. He had a plan deep out of sight. And Henriot remembered how the man's soft approach along the carpeted corridor had made him start. He recalled the quasi shock it gave him. He thought again of the feeling of discomfort he had experienced.
Of course, the odds were that he was completely lost—people usually are in situations like this—but this time, he happened to be spot on. His quick thinking kept getting stuck on one thing only. This ugliness, this idea of unworthiness in Vance, couldn't be just a negative trait. A guy with that face was no passive weakling. The motive he was trying hard to hide, which revealed itself by just being there, definitely pushed toward taking action. Hidden, it was always awake. Vance was wide awake, alert. He had a plan that was deeply buried out of sight. And Henriot remembered how the man's smooth stride down the carpeted hallway had startled him. He recalled the near shock it gave him. He thought again about the feeling of unease he had felt.
Next, his eager fancy sought to plumb the business these two had together in Egypt—in the Desert. For the Desert, he felt convinced, had brought them out. But here, though he constructed numerous explanations, another barrier stopped him. Because he knew. This woman was in touch with that aspect of ancient Egypt he himself had ever sought in vain; and not merely with stones the sand had buried so deep, but with the meanings they once represented, buried so utterly by the sands of later thought.
Next, his curious mind tried to figure out what these two were doing together in Egypt—in the Desert. He was sure the Desert had brought them together. But even though he came up with many explanations, another barrier blocked him. Because he knew. This woman was connected to that part of ancient Egypt he had always sought but never found; not just with the stones buried deep in the sand, but with the meanings they once held, completely buried by later interpretations.
And here, being ignorant, he found no clue that could lead to any satisfactory result, for he possessed no knowledge that might guide him. He floundered—until Fate helped him. And the instant Fate helped him, the warning and presentiment he had dismissed as fanciful, became real again. He hesitated. Caution acted. He would think twice before taking steps to form acquaintance. "Better not," thought whispered. "Better leave them alone, this queer couple. They're after things that won't do you any good." This idea of mischief, almost of danger, in their purposes was oddly insistent; for what could possibly convey it? But, while he hesitated, Fate, who sent the warning, pushed him at the same time into the circle of their lives: at first tentatively—he might still have escaped; but soon urgently—curiosity led him inexorably towards the end.
And here, being clueless, he found no hint that could lead to any satisfactory outcome, as he had no knowledge to guide him. He stumbled—until Fate intervened. The moment Fate stepped in, the warning and sense of foreboding he had disregarded as silly became real once more. He paused. Caution kicked in. He would think twice before trying to get to know them. "Better not," a thought whispered. "Better just leave this odd couple alone. They're after things that won’t do you any good." This sense of trouble, almost danger, in their intentions was strangely persistent; what could possibly hint at it? But while he hesitated, Fate, who gave the warning, simultaneously pushed him into their lives: initially cautiously—he could still have backed out; but soon more insistently—curiosity pulled him inevitably towards the conclusion.
IV
It was so simple a manoeuvre by which Fate began the innocent game. The woman left a couple of books behind her on the table one night, and Henriot, after a moment's hesitation, took them out after her. He knew the titles—The House of the Master, and The House of the Hidden Places, both singular interpretations of the Pyramids that once had held his own mind spellbound. Their ideas had been since disproved, if he remembered rightly, yet the titles were a clue—a clue to that imaginative part of his mind that was so busy constructing theories and had found its stride. Loose sheets of paper, covered with notes in a minute handwriting, lay between the pages; but these, of course, he did not read, noticing only that they were written round designs of various kinds—intricate designs.
It was such a simple move that Fate started the innocent game. One night, the woman left a couple of books on the table, and Henriot, after a moment of hesitation, took them after her. He recognized the titles—The House of the Master and The House of the Hidden Places, both unique takes on the Pyramids that had once fascinated him. Their ideas had since been disproven, if he remembered correctly, but the titles were a hint—a hint to that imaginative part of his mind that was busy coming up with theories and was gaining momentum. Loose sheets of paper filled with notes in tiny handwriting lay between the pages; but of course, he didn’t read them, only noticing that they were written around various intricate designs.
He discovered Vance in a corner of the smoking-lounge. The woman had disappeared.
He found Vance in a corner of the smoking lounge. The woman was gone.
Vance thanked him politely. "My aunt is so forgetful sometimes," he said, and took them with a covert eagerness that did not escape the other's observation. He folded up the sheets and put them carefully in his pocket. On one there was an ink-sketched map, crammed with detail, that might well have referred to some portion of the Desert. The points of the compass stood out boldly at the bottom. There were involved geometrical designs again. Henriot saw them. They exchanged, then, the commonplaces of conversation, but these led to nothing further. Vance was nervous and betrayed impatience. He presently excused himself and left the lounge. Ten minutes later he passed through the outer hall, the woman beside him, and the pair of them, wrapped up in cloak and ulster, went out into the night. At the door, Vance turned and threw a quick, investigating glance in his direction. There seemed a hint of questioning in that glance; it might almost have been a tentative invitation. But, also, he wanted to see if their exit had been particularly noticed—and by whom.
Vance thanked him politely. "My aunt can be really forgetful sometimes," he said, taking them with a hidden eagerness that didn’t escape the other’s notice. He folded the sheets and put them carefully in his pocket. On one of them was an ink-sketched map, filled with details, that could have been a reference to some part of the Desert. The points of the compass stood out clearly at the bottom. There were complicated geometric designs again. Henriot noticed them. They exchanged the usual small talk, but it didn’t lead anywhere further. Vance was nervous and showed signs of impatience. He soon excused himself and left the lounge. Ten minutes later, he walked through the outer hall with the woman beside him, both wrapped up in a cloak and an overcoat, heading out into the night. At the door, Vance turned and gave a quick, probing glance in the other direction. There seemed to be a hint of questioning in that glance; it almost felt like a tentative invitation. But he also wanted to check if anyone had taken particular notice of their exit—and by whom.
This, briefly told, was the first manoeuvre by which Fate introduced them. There was nothing in it. The details were so insignificant, so slight the conversation, so meagre the pieces thus added to Henriot's imaginative structure. Yet they somehow built it up and made it solid; the outline in his mind began to stand foursquare. That writing, those designs, the manner of the man, their going out together, the final curious look—each and all betrayed points of a hidden thing. Subconsciously he was excavating their buried purposes. The sand was shifting. The concentration of his mind incessantly upon them removed it grain by grain and speck by speck. Tips of the smothered thing emerged. Presently a subsidence would follow with a rush and light would blaze upon its skeleton. He felt it stirring underneath his feet—this flowing movement of light, dry, heaped-up sand. It was always—sand.
This, in short, was the first move by which Fate brought them together. There was nothing significant about it. The details were so trivial, the conversation so minimal, the bits added to Henriot's imaginative structure so sparse. Yet somehow, they formed something substantial; the outline in his mind began to take shape. That writing, those designs, the man’s demeanor, their time together, that final curious glance—each one hinted at something deeper. Subconsciously, he was uncovering their hidden motives. The sand was shifting. His constant focus on them gradually cleared it away, grain by grain and speck by speck. Tips of the buried matter began to show. Soon, there would be a sudden collapse and light would shine on its structure. He felt it moving beneath him—this flowing movement of light, dry, piled-up sand. It was always—sand.
Then other incidents of a similar kind came about, clearing the way to a natural acquaintanceship. Henriot watched the process with amusement, yet with another feeling too that was only a little less than anxiety. A keen observer, no detail escaped him; he saw the forces of their lives draw closer. It made him think of the devices of young people who desire to know one another, yet cannot get a proper introduction. Fate condescended to such little tricks. They wanted a third person, he began to feel. A third was necessary to some plan they had on hand, and—they waited to see if he could fill the place. This woman, with whom he had yet exchanged no single word, seemed so familiar to him, well known for years. They weighed and watched him, wondering if he would do.
Then other similar incidents happened, paving the way for a natural connection. Henriot watched this unfold with amusement, but also with a slight sense of anxiety. As a keen observer, he noticed every detail; he saw how the forces of their lives were pulling closer together. It reminded him of the strategies young people use when they want to get to know each other but can’t find a proper introduction. Fate allowed for such small games. He began to sense that they wanted a third person. A third party was essential to some plan they had, and— they were waiting to see if he could fit into that role. This woman, with whom he had not yet exchanged a single word, felt so familiar to him, as if they had known each other for years. They gauged and observed him, wondering if he would measure up.
None of the devices were too obviously used, but at length Henriot picked up so many forgotten articles, and heard so many significant phrases, casually let fall, that he began to feel like the villain in a machine-made play, where the hero for ever drops clues his enemy is intended to discover.
None of the devices looked too obviously used, but eventually, Henriot picked up enough forgotten items and overheard enough meaningful phrases that he started to feel like the bad guy in a formulaic play, where the hero constantly drops hints for his enemy to find.
Introduction followed inevitably. "My aunt can tell you; she knows Arabic perfectly." He had been discussing the meaning of some local name or other with a neighbour after dinner, and Vance had joined them. The neighbour moved away; these two were left standing alone, and he accepted a cigarette from the other's case. There was a rustle of skirts behind them. "Here she comes," said Vance; "you will let me introduce you." He did not ask for Henriot's name; he had already taken the trouble to find it out—another little betrayal, and another clue.
Introduction followed inevitably. "My aunt can tell you; she speaks Arabic fluently." He had been talking about the meaning of some local name or another with a neighbor after dinner, and Vance had joined them. The neighbor moved away; these two were left standing alone, and he accepted a cigarette from the other’s case. There was a rustle of skirts behind them. "Here she comes," said Vance; "I’ll introduce you." He didn’t ask for Henriot's name; he had already taken the time to find it out—another little betrayal, and another clue.
It was in a secluded corner of the great hall, and Henriot turned to see the woman's stately figure coming towards them across the thick carpet that deadened her footsteps. She came sailing up, her black eyes fixed upon his face. Very erect, head upright, shoulders almost squared, she moved wonderfully well; there was dignity and power in her walk. She was dressed in black, and her face was like the night. He found it impossible to say what lent her this air of impressiveness and solemnity that was almost majestic. But there was this touch of darkness and of power in the way she came that made him think of some sphinx-like figure of stone, some idol motionless in all its parts but moving as a whole, and gliding across—sand. Beneath those level lids her eyes stared hard at him. And a faint sensation of distress stirred in him deep, deep down. Where had he seen those eyes before?
It was in a quiet corner of the great hall, and Henriot turned to see the woman’s impressive figure approaching them across the thick carpet that muffled her footsteps. She glided toward him, her dark eyes locked onto his face. Standing tall, head held high, shoulders squared, she moved with remarkable grace; there was dignity and strength in her stride. Dressed in black, her face resembled the night. He found it hard to pinpoint what gave her this aura of seriousness and presence that was almost majestic. But there was this hint of darkness and power in her approach that made him think of a sphinx-like statue, an idol completely still yet gliding across the sand. Beneath her lowered lids, her eyes bore down on him intensely. A faint feeling of unease stirred deep within him. Where had he seen those eyes before?
He bowed, as she joined them, and Vance led the way to the armchairs in a corner of the lounge. The meeting, as the talk that followed, he felt, were all part of a preconceived plan. It had happened before. The woman, that is, was familiar to him—to some part of his being that had dropped stitches of old, old memory.
He bowed as she joined them, and Vance led the way to the armchairs in a corner of the lounge. The meeting, along with the conversation that followed, felt like all part of a prearranged plan. It had happened before. The woman, in particular, was someone he recognized—some part of him that had unearthed fragments of distant memories.
Lady Statham! At first the name had disappointed him. So many folk wear titles, as syllables in certain tongues wear accents—without them being mute, unnoticed, unpronounced. Nonentities, born to names, so often claim attention for their insignificance in this way. But this woman, had she been Jemima Jones, would have made the name distinguished and select. She was a big and sombre personality. Why was it, he wondered afterwards, that for a moment something in him shrank, and that his mind, metaphorically speaking, flung up an arm in self-protection? The instinct flashed and passed. But it seemed to him born of an automatic feeling that he must protect—not himself, but the woman from the man. There was confusion in it all; links were missing. He studied her intently. She was a woman who had none of the external feminine signals in either dress or manner, no graces, no little womanly hesitations and alarms, no daintiness, yet neither anything distinctly masculine. Her charm was strong, possessing; only he kept forgetting that he was talking to a—woman; and the thing she inspired in him included, with respect and wonder, somewhere also this curious hint of dread. This instinct to protect her fled as soon as it was born, for the interest of the conversation in which she so quickly plunged him obliterated all minor emotions whatsoever. Here, for the first time, he drew close to Egypt, the Egypt he had sought so long. It was not to be explained. He felt it.
Lady Statham! At first, the name had disappointed him. So many people hold titles like accents in certain languages—there, but often unnoticed, unspoken. Nonentities, born to names, frequently seek attention for their unimportance this way. But this woman, even if she had been called Jemima Jones, would have made that name stand out and feel exclusive. She had a powerful and serious presence. He wondered later why, for a moment, something inside him recoiled, and metaphorically speaking, his mind raised a protective barrier. The instinct flashed and faded. But it felt like an automatic reaction to protect—not himself, but the woman from the man. There was confusion in it all; something was missing. He studied her closely. She was a woman who lacked the typical feminine markers in either her clothing or demeanor—no gestures, no little feminine hesitations or fears, no delicateness, yet nothing overtly masculine either. Her charm was strong and captivating; he just kept forgetting he was speaking to a woman; and what she evoked in him included, with respect and wonder, also this strange hint of fear. This instinct to protect her vanished as quickly as it appeared, for the engaging conversation she pulled him into quickly overshadowed all minor feelings. Here, for the first time, he felt close to Egypt, the Egypt he had searched for so long. It couldn't be explained. He felt it.
Beginning with commonplaces, such as "You like Egypt? You find here what you expected?" she led him into better regions with "One finds here what one brings." He knew the delightful experience of talking fluently on subjects he was at home in, and to some one who understood. The feeling at first that to this woman he could not say mere anythings, slipped into its opposite—that he could say everything. Strangers ten minutes ago, they were at once in deep and intimate talk together. He found his ideas readily followed, agreed with up to a point—the point which permits discussion to start from a basis of general accord towards speculation. In the excitement of ideas he neglected the uncomfortable note that had stirred his caution, forgot the warning too. Her mind, moreover, seemed known to him; he was often aware of what she was going to say before he actually heard it; the current of her thoughts struck a familiar gait, and more than once he experienced vividly again the odd sensation that it all had happened before. The very sentences and phrases with which she pointed the turns of her unusual ideas were never wholly unexpected.
Starting with simple questions like, "Do you like Egypt? Is this what you expected?" she guided him into more profound topics with, "You find here what you bring." He enjoyed the thrill of discussing topics he was passionate about, especially with someone who understood him. Initially, he felt he couldn’t say anything trivial to her, but that quickly changed to realizing he could say anything. Just ten minutes ago, they were strangers, and now they were engaged in deep, personal conversation. He noticed she followed his ideas easily and agreed with him up to a point—the point that allows for discussion to move from shared agreement into speculation. Caught up in the excitement of exchanging ideas, he ignored the unease that had made him cautious and forgot the warning signs. Moreover, her mind seemed familiar to him; he often sensed what she would say before he actually heard it; her thoughts had a recognizable rhythm, and several times he felt the strange sensation that this had all happened before. The very sentences and phrases she used to articulate her unique ideas were never entirely surprising.
For her ideas were decidedly unusual, in the sense that she accepted without question speculations not commonly deemed worth consideration at all, indeed not ordinarily even known. Henriot knew them, because he had read in many fields. It was the strength of her belief that fascinated him. She offered no apologies. She knew. And while he talked, she listening with folded arms and her black eyes fixed upon his own, Richard Vance watched with vigilant eyes and listened too, ceaselessly alert. Vance joined in little enough, however, gave no opinions, his attitude one of general acquiescence. Twice, when pauses of slackening interest made it possible, Henriot fancied he surprised another quality in this negative attitude. Interpreting it each time differently, he yet dismissed both interpretations with a smile. His imagination leaped so absurdly to violent conclusions. They were not tenable: Vance was neither her keeper, nor was he in some fashion a detective. Yet in his manner was sometimes this suggestion of the detective order. He watched with such deep attention, and he concealed it so clumsily with an affectation of careless indifference.
Her ideas were definitely unusual, as she accepted theories that most people wouldn’t even consider, and many were not widely known at all. Henriot was aware of them because he had read extensively in many subjects. It was the strength of her conviction that captivated him. She made no excuses. She was sure. While he spoke, she listened with her arms crossed and her dark eyes fixed on his. Richard Vance observed with keen interest and listened closely, always alert. However, Vance didn’t contribute much; he kept his opinions to himself and showed general agreement. Twice, during moments of waning interest, Henriot thought he noticed another aspect of Vance’s passive demeanor. Interpreting it differently each time, he ultimately dismissed both interpretations with a smile. His imagination jumped to wildly unlikely conclusions. They didn’t hold up: Vance was neither her guardian nor some sort of investigator. Yet there was sometimes a hint of a detective vibe in his behavior. He watched intently and awkwardly masked his focus with a façade of casual indifference.
There is nothing more dangerous than that impulsive intimacy strangers sometimes adopt when an atmosphere of mutual sympathy takes them by surprise, for it is akin to the false frankness friends affect when telling "candidly" one another's faults. The mood is invariably regretted later. Henriot, however, yielded to it now with something like abandon. The pleasure of talking with this woman was so unexpected, and so keen.
There’s nothing more dangerous than the impulsive closeness that strangers sometimes develop when they unexpectedly feel a sense of mutual understanding, as it’s similar to the fake honesty friends put on when they “candidly” point out each other’s flaws. That mood is almost always regretted later. Henriot, however, gave in to it now with a sort of recklessness. The joy of talking with this woman was so surprising and intense.
For Lady Statham believed apparently in some Egypt of her dreams. Her interest was neither historical, archaeological, nor political. It was religious—yet hardly of this earth at all. The conversation turned upon the knowledge of the ancient Egyptians from an unearthly point of view, and even while he talked he was vaguely aware that it was her mind talking through his own. She drew out his ideas and made him say them. But this he was properly aware of only afterwards—that she had cleverly, mercilessly pumped him of all he had ever known or read upon the subject. Moreover, what Vance watched so intently was himself, and the reactions in himself this remarkable woman produced. That also he realised later.
For Lady Statham seemed to believe in a dream version of Egypt. Her interest wasn’t historical, archaeological, or political. It was spiritual—yet not really of this world at all. The conversation shifted to the knowledge of the ancient Egyptians from otherworldly perspectives, and even as he spoke, he was vaguely aware that it was her thoughts coming through his. She drew out his ideas and made him express them. But he only fully realized afterward that she had skillfully and ruthlessly extracted everything he knew or had read about the topic. Furthermore, what Vance was observing so closely was himself and the reactions this extraordinary woman stirred within him. He understood that later too.
His first impression that these two belonged to what may be called the "crank" order was justified by the conversation. But, at least, it was interesting crankiness, and the belief behind it made it even fascinating. Long before the end he surprised in her a more vital form of his own attitude that anything may be true, since knowledge has never yet found final answers to any of the biggest questions.
His first impression that these two were part of what might be called the "crank" category was confirmed by their conversation. However, at least it was an interesting kind of crankiness, and the reasoning behind it made it even more captivating. Long before it ended, he discovered in her a more intense version of his own belief that anything may be true, since knowledge has never really provided final answers to any of the biggest questions.
He understood, from sentences dropped early in the talk, that she was among those few "superstitious" folk who think that the old Egyptians came closer to reading the eternal riddles of the world than any others, and that their knowledge was a remnant of that ancient Wisdom Religion which existed in the superb, dark civilization of the sunken Atlantis, lost continent that once joined Africa to Mexico. Eighty thousand years ago the dim sands of Poseidonis, great island adjoining the main continent which itself had vanished a vast period before, sank down beneath the waves, and the entire known world to-day was descended from its survivors.
He gathered from comments made early in the conversation that she was one of those few "superstitious" people who believed that the ancient Egyptians had a better grasp on the eternal mysteries of the world than anyone else, and that their knowledge was a remnant of that ancient Wisdom Religion that thrived in the magnificent, mysterious civilization of the sunken Atlantis, a lost continent that once connected Africa to Mexico. Eighty thousand years ago, the dim sands of Poseidonis, a large island next to the mainland that had already disappeared long before, sank beneath the waves, and today's entire known world is descended from its survivors.
Hence the significant fact that all religions and "mythological" systems begin with a story of a flood—some cataclysmic upheaval that destroyed the world. Egypt itself was colonised by a group of Atlantean priests who brought their curious, deep knowledge with them. They had foreseen the cataclysm.
Hence the significant fact that all religions and "mythological" systems start with a story of a flood—some catastrophic event that wiped out the world. Egypt itself was settled by a group of Atlantean priests who brought their unique, profound knowledge with them. They had predicted the disaster.
Lady Statham talked well, bringing into her great dream this strong, insistent quality of belief and fact. She knew, from Plato to Donelly, all that the minds of men have ever speculated upon the gorgeous legend. The evidence for such a sunken continent—Henriot had skimmed it too in years gone by—she made bewilderingly complete. He had heard Baconians demolish Shakespeare with an array of evidence equally overwhelming. It catches the imagination though not the mind. Yet out of her facts, as she presented them, grew a strange likelihood. The force of this woman's personality, and her calm and quiet way of believing all she talked about, took her listener to some extent—further than ever before, certainly—into the great dream after her. And the dream, to say the least, was a picturesque one, laden with wonderful possibilities. For as she talked the spirit of old Egypt moved up, staring down upon him out of eyes lidded so curiously level. Hitherto all had prated to him of the Arabs, their ancient faith and customs, and the splendour of the Bedouins, those Princes of the Desert. But what he sought, barely confessed in words even to himself, was something older far than this. And this strange, dark woman brought it close. Deeps in his soul, long slumbering, awoke. He heard forgotten questions.
Lady Statham spoke eloquently, infusing her grand vision with a strong, determined sense of belief and reality. She was well-versed, from Plato to Donelly, in all the speculations that people have ever had about the magnificent legend. The evidence for such a sunken continent—Henriot had touched on it years ago—she made astonishingly complete. He had listened to Baconians dismantle Shakespeare with just as much compelling evidence. It captures the imagination but not necessarily logic. Yet from her presentation of facts emerged a strange plausibility. The power of this woman’s personality, along with her calm and unwavering belief in everything she discussed, drew her listener in—further than ever before, for sure—into the grand vision she described. And the vision, to say the least, was vivid and filled with amazing possibilities. As she spoke, the spirit of ancient Egypt seemed to rise up, gazing down at him with eyes that were oddly level. Until now, everyone had only talked to him about the Arabs, their ancient beliefs and customs, and the splendor of the Bedouins, those Princes of the Desert. But what he truly sought, barely admitted even to himself, was something much older than that. And this mysterious, dark woman brought it close. Deep within his soul, long dormant, stirred to life. He remembered forgotten questions.
Only in this brief way could he attempt to sum up the storm she roused in him.
Only this briefly could he try to summarize the storm she stirred up in him.
She carried him far beyond mere outline, however, though afterwards he recalled the details with difficulty. So much more was suggested than actually expressed. She contrived to make the general modern scepticism an evidence of cheap mentality. It was so easy; the depth it affects to conceal, mere emptiness. "We have tried all things, and found all wanting"—the mind, as measuring instrument, merely confessed inadequate. Various shrewd judgments of this kind increased his respect, although her acceptance went so far beyond his own. And, while the label of credulity refused to stick to her, her sense of imaginative wonder enabled her to escape that dreadful compromise, a man's mind in a woman's temperament. She fascinated him.
She took him much deeper than just surface-level understanding, although later he found it hard to remember the details. So much more was implied than actually said. She managed to turn the general modern skepticism into proof of a shallow mindset. It was so simple; the depth it pretends to hide is just emptiness. "We have tried everything and found it all lacking"—the mind, as a tool for measurement, simply admitted its limitations. Her various sharp insights only increased his admiration for her, even though her acceptance went way further than his own. And while the label of naivety never stuck to her, her sense of imaginative wonder allowed her to dodge that awful compromise of having a man's mind in a woman's temperament. She captivated him.
The spiritual worship of the ancient Egyptians, she held, was a symbolical explanation of things generally alluded to as the secrets of life and death; their knowledge was a remnant of the wisdom of Atlantis. Material relics, equally misunderstood, still stood to-day at Karnac, Stonehenge, and in the mysterious writings on buried Mexican temples and cities, so significantly akin to the hieroglyphics upon the Egyptian tombs.
The spiritual worship of the ancient Egyptians, she believed, symbolically explained concepts commonly referred to as the secrets of life and death; their knowledge was a remnant of the wisdom from Atlantis. Material relics, equally misinterpreted, still exist today at Karnac, Stonehenge, and in the mysterious writings on buried Mexican temples and cities, which are strikingly similar to the hieroglyphics found on Egyptian tombs.
"The one misinterpreted as literally as the other," she suggested, "yet both fragments of an advanced knowledge that found its grave in the sea. The Wisdom of that old spiritual system has vanished from the world, only a degraded literalism left of its undecipherable language. The jewel has been lost, and the casket is filled with sand, sand, sand."
"The one misunderstood just like the other," she proposed, "yet both pieces of a deeper knowledge that got buried in the ocean. The wisdom of that ancient spiritual system has disappeared from the world, leaving behind only a twisted literalism of its unreadable language. The jewel is gone, and the box is filled with sand, sand, sand."
How keenly her black eyes searched his own as she said it, and how oddly she made the little word resound. The syllable drew out almost into chanting. Echoes answered from the depths within him, carrying it on and on across some desert of forgotten belief. Veils of sand flew everywhere about his mind. Curtains lifted. Whole hills of sand went shifting into level surfaces whence gardens of dim outline emerged to meet the sunlight.
How intensely her dark eyes searched his as she said it, and how strangely she made that small word resonate. The syllable elongated almost like a chant. Echoes responded from deep within him, carrying it endlessly across a desert of forgotten beliefs. Clouds of sand swirled around in his thoughts. Barriers lifted. Entire hills of sand shifted into flat ground from which faintly outlined gardens appeared to greet the sunlight.
"But the sand may be removed." It was her nephew, speaking almost for the first time, and the interruption had an odd effect, introducing a sharply practical element. For the tone expressed, so far as he dared express it, disapproval. It was a baited observation, an invitation to opinion.
"But the sand can be taken out." It was her nephew, speaking almost for the first time, and his interruption had a strange effect, adding a distinctly practical touch. His tone conveyed, as much as he was willing to show, disapproval. It was a pointed comment, a prompt for a response.
"We are not sand-diggers, Mr. Henriot," put in Lady Statham, before he decided to respond. "Our object is quite another one; and I believe—I have a feeling," she added almost questioningly, "that you might be interested enough to help us perhaps."
"We're not here to dig in the sand, Mr. Henriot," interrupted Lady Statham, before he chose to reply. "Our goal is something entirely different; and I think—I have a feeling," she added somewhat uncertainly, "that you might be interested enough to maybe help us."
He only wondered the direct attack had not come sooner. Its bluntness hardly surprised him. He felt himself leap forward to accept it. A sudden subsidence had freed his feet.
He just wondered why the direct attack hadn't happened sooner. Its straightforwardness didn’t really shock him. He felt himself jump forward to accept it. A sudden sinking had released his feet.
Then the warning operated suddenly—for an instant. Henriot was interested; more, he was half seduced; but, as yet, he did not mean to be included in their purposes, whatever these might be. That shrinking dread came back a moment, and was gone again before he could question it. His eyes looked full at Lady Statham. "What is it that you know?" they asked her. "Tell me the things we once knew together, you and I. These words are merely trifling. And why does another man now stand in my place? For the sands heaped upon my memory are shifting, and it is you who are moving them away."
Then the warning hit him suddenly—for a moment. Henriot was interested; more than that, he was almost tempted; but, for now, he didn’t intend to be part of their plans, whatever they were. That feeling of dread came back for a brief second, then disappeared before he could question it. His eyes focused intently on Lady Statham. "What is it that you know?" they seemed to ask her. "Tell me the things we once knew together, you and I. These words are just small talk. And why does another man now take my place? Because the memories piling up in my mind are shifting, and it is you who are moving them away."
His soul whispered it; his voice said quite another thing, although the words he used seemed oddly chosen:
His soul whispered it; his voice said something completely different, even though the words he used felt strangely picked:
"There is much in the ideas of ancient Egypt that has attracted me ever since I can remember, though I have never caught up with anything definite enough to follow. There was majesty somewhere in their conceptions—a large, calm majesty of spiritual dominion, one might call it perhaps. I am interested."
"There’s a lot about ancient Egyptian ideas that has fascinated me for as long as I can remember, but I’ve never quite managed to find anything solid enough to pursue. There was a sense of majesty in their beliefs—maybe a grand, serene majesty of spiritual power, you could say. I am interested."
Her face remained expressionless as she listened, but there was grave conviction in the eyes that held him like a spell. He saw through them into dim, faint pictures whose background was always sand. He forgot that he was speaking with a woman, a woman who half an hour ago had been a stranger to him. He followed these faded mental pictures, though he never caught them up.... It was like his dream in London.
Her face was blank as she listened, but her eyes held a serious intensity that captivated him. Through them, he glimpsed dim, distant images where the background was always sand. He forgot he was talking to a woman, a woman who had been a stranger to him just half an hour ago. He chased these blurry mental images, even though he could never quite grasp them.... It reminded him of his dream in London.
Lady Statham was talking—he had not noticed the means by which she effected the abrupt transition—of familiar beliefs of old Egypt; of the Ka, or Double, by whose existence the survival of the soul was possible, even its return into manifested, physical life; of the astrology, or influence of the heavenly bodies upon all sublunar activities; of terrific forms of other life, known to the ancient worship of Atlantis, great Potencies that might be invoked by ritual and ceremonial, and of their lesser influence as recognised in certain lower forms, hence treated with veneration as the "Sacred Animal" branch of this dim religion. And she spoke lightly of the modern learning which so glibly imagined it was the animals themselves that were looked upon as "gods"—the bull, the bird, the crocodile, the cat. "It's there they all go so absurdly wrong," she said, "taking the symbol for the power symbolised. Yet natural enough. The mind to-day wears blinkers, studies only the details seen directly before it. Had none of us experienced love, we should think the first lover mad. Few to-day know the Powers they knew, hence deny them. If the world were deaf it would stand with mockery before a hearing group swayed by an orchestra, pitying both listeners and performers. It would deem our admiration of a great swinging bell mere foolish worship of form and movement. Similarly, with high Powers that once expressed themselves in common forms—where best they could—being themselves bodiless. The learned men classify the forms with painstaking detail. But deity has gone out of life. The Powers symbolised are no longer experienced."
Lady Statham was talking—he hadn’t noticed how she made the sudden shift—to familiar beliefs of ancient Egypt; about the Ka, or Double, which allowed for the survival of the soul, even its return to manifested, physical life; about astrology, or the influence of celestial bodies on all earthly activities; and about the terrifying forms of other life associated with the ancient worship of Atlantis, the great Powers that could be invoked through rituals and ceremonies. She also mentioned their lesser influence, recognized in certain lower forms, and thus treated with respect as the "Sacred Animal" aspect of this ancient religion. She lightly critiqued the modern belief that thought the animals themselves were seen as "gods"—the bull, the bird, the crocodile, the cat. "That's where they all go so ridiculously wrong," she said, "mistaking the symbol for the power it represents. Yet it's understandable. People today are narrow-minded, only focused on what they can see directly in front of them. If none of us had experienced love, we would think the first lover was insane. Few today know the Powers they once knew, which is why they deny their existence. If the world were deaf, it would ridicule a group that could hear, swayed by an orchestra, pitying both the listeners and the performers. It would consider our admiration of a great swinging bell to be merely foolish worship of form and movement. Similarly, with the high Powers that once expressed themselves in familiar forms—doing the best they could—being themselves bodiless. Scholars meticulously classify these forms. But divinity has faded from life. The Powers they symbolize are no longer felt."
"These Powers, you suggest, then—their Kas, as it were—may still—"
"These Powers, you suggest, then—their Kas, so to speak—may still—"
But she waved aside the interruption. "They are satisfied, as the common people were, with a degraded literalism," she went on. "Nut was the Heavens, who spread herself across the earth in the form of a woman; Shu, the vastness of space; the ibis typified Thoth, and Hathor was the Patron of the Western Hills; Khonsu, the moon, was personified, as was the deity of the Nile. But the high priest of Ra, the sun, you notice, remained ever the Great One of Visions."
But she dismissed the interruption. "They're happy, just like the common people were, with a twisted literalism," she continued. "Nut was the sky, who spread herself across the earth as a woman; Shu represented the vastness of space; the ibis symbolized Thoth, and Hathor was the Patron of the Western Hills; Khonsu, the moon, was personified, just like the god of the Nile. But the high priest of Ra, the sun, you’ll notice, always remained the Great One of Visions."
The High Priest, the Great One of Visions!—How wonderfully again she made the sentence sing. She put splendour into it. The pictures shifted suddenly closer in his mind. He saw the grandeur of Memphis and Heliopolis rise against the stars and shake the sand of ages from their stern old temples.
The High Priest, the Great One of Visions!—How beautifully she made the sentence resonate again. She infused it with brilliance. The images suddenly became clearer in his mind. He saw the magnificence of Memphis and Heliopolis emerge against the stars and shed the dust of centuries from their formidable old temples.
"You think it possible, then, to get into touch with these High Powers you speak of, Powers once manifested in common forms?"
"You think it’s possible, then, to connect with these High Powers you’re talking about, Powers that were once shown in everyday forms?"
Henriot asked the question with a degree of conviction and solemnity that surprised himself. The scenery changed about him as he listened. The spacious halls of this former khedivial Palace melted into Desert spaces. He smelt the open wilderness, the sand that haunted Helouan. The soft-footed Arab servants moved across the hall in their white sheets like eddies of dust the wind stirred from the Libyan dunes. And over these two strangers close beside him stole a queer, indefinite alteration. Moods and emotions, nameless as unknown stars, rose through his soul, trailing dark mists of memory from unfathomable distances.
Henriot asked the question with a level of conviction and seriousness that surprised him. The scenery around him shifted as he listened. The grand halls of this former royal palace faded into desert landscapes. He could smell the open wilderness, the sand that lingered in Helouan. The quiet Arab servants moved through the hall in their white robes like swirls of dust stirred by the wind from the Libyan dunes. And over the two strangers close to him, an odd, vague change came over him. Moods and feelings, unnamed like uncharted stars, rose in his soul, trailing dark clouds of memory from distant depths.
Lady Statham answered him indirectly. He found himself wishing that those steady eyes would sometimes close.
Lady Statham responded to him indirectly. He found himself wishing those steady eyes would close once in a while.
"Love is known only by feeling it," she said, her voice deepening a little. "Behind the form you feel the person loved. The process is an evocation, pure and simple. An arduous ceremonial, involving worship and devotional preparation, is the means. It is a difficult ritual—the only one acknowledged by the world as still effectual. Ritual is the passage way of the soul into the Infinite."
"Love can only be understood by experiencing it," she said, her voice becoming a bit deeper. "Once you look past the surface, you truly feel the person you love. It’s a straightforward process of evocation. It involves a demanding ceremony that includes worship and preparation. It's a tough ritual— the only one the world recognizes as still effective. Ritual is the path for the soul into the Infinite."
He might have said the words himself. The thought lay in him while she uttered it. Evocation everywhere in life was as true as assimilation. Nevertheless, he stared his companion full in the eyes with a touch of almost rude amazement. But no further questions prompted themselves; or, rather, he declined to ask them. He recalled, somehow uneasily, that in ceremonial the points of the compass have significance, standing for forces and activities that sleep there until invoked, and a passing light fell upon that curious midnight request in the corridor upstairs. These two were on the track of undesirable experiments, he thought.... They wished to include him too.
He could have said those words himself. The thought was inside him while she spoke it. The idea of evocation in life was just as real as assimilation. Still, he looked his companion straight in the eyes with almost rude surprise. But no more questions came to mind; or rather, he chose not to ask them. He remembered, somewhat uneasily, that in rituals, the directions hold meaning, representing forces and activities that lie dormant until called upon, and a fleeting realization hit him about that strange midnight request in the hallway upstairs. He thought these two were dabbling in dangerous experiments... and they wanted to involve him too.
"You go at night sometimes into the Desert?" he heard himself saying. It was impulsive and miscalculated. His feeling that it would be wise to change the conversation resulted in giving it fresh impetus instead.
"You go into the Desert at night sometimes?" he heard himself say. It was impulsive and poorly thought out. His urge to change the subject only gave it more momentum instead.
"We saw you there—in the Wadi Hof," put in Vance, suddenly breaking his long silence; "you too sleep out, then? It means, you know, the Valley of Fear."
"We saw you there—in the Wadi Hof," Vance said, suddenly breaking his long silence. "So you sleep outside too? That means, you know, the Valley of Fear."
"We wondered—" It was Lady Statham's voice, and she leaned forward eagerly as she said it, then abruptly left the sentence incomplete. Henriot started; a sense of momentary acute discomfort again ran over him. The same second she continued, though obviously changing the phrase—"we wondered how you spent your day there, during the heat. But you paint, don't you? You draw, I mean?"
"We were curious—" It was Lady Statham's voice, and she leaned forward eagerly as she said it, then suddenly left the sentence hanging. Henriot jumped; a wave of sharp discomfort ran through him again. In the same breath, she continued, obviously altering her words—"we were curious about how you spent your day there in the heat. But you paint, right? I mean, you draw?"
The commonplace question, he realised in every fibre of his being, meant something they deemed significant. Was it his talent for drawing that they sought to use him for? Even as he answered with a simple affirmative, he had a flash of intuition that might be fanciful, yet that might be true: that this extraordinary pair were intent upon some ceremony of evocation that should summon into actual physical expression some Power—some type of life—known long ago to ancient worship, and that they even sought to fix its bodily outline with the pencil—his pencil.
The ordinary question, he felt deeply, was something they found important. Was it his drawing talent that they wanted to utilize? Even as he simply said yes, he had a sudden feeling that could be fanciful, but might be true: that this remarkable duo was focused on some kind of ritual to call forth a real physical presence of a Power—some kind of life—recognized long ago in ancient worship, and that they even wanted to shape its physical form with a pencil—his pencil.
A gateway of incredible adventure opened at his feet. He balanced on the edge of knowing unutterable things. Here was a clue that might lead him towards the hidden Egypt he had ever craved to know. An awful hand was beckoning. The sands were shifting. He saw the million eyes of the Desert watching him from beneath the level lids of centuries. Speck by speck, and grain by grain, the sand that smothered memory lifted the countless wrappings that embalmed it.
A gateway to incredible adventure opened up before him. He stood on the verge of understanding things beyond words. Here was a hint that could lead him to the hidden Egypt he had always wanted to discover. A dark force was calling to him. The sands were changing. He felt the millions of eyes of the Desert watching him from below the surface of time. Little by little, the sand that buried memories began to uncover the many layers that protected them.
And he was willing, yet afraid. Why in the world did he hesitate and shrink? Why was it that the presence of this silent, watching personality in the chair beside him kept caution still alive, with warning close behind? The pictures in his mind were gorgeously coloured. It was Richard Vance who somehow streaked them through with black. A thing of darkness, born of this man's unassertive presence, flitted ever across the scenery, marring its grandeur with something evil, petty, dreadful. He held a horrible thought alive. His mind was thinking venal purposes.
And he was willing, but scared. Why was he hesitating and holding back? Why did the presence of this quiet, observant person sitting next to him keep his caution alive, with a sense of warning right behind it? The images in his mind were vivid and colorful. It was Richard Vance who somehow darkened them. A shadowy figure, born from this man's unassuming presence, flickered across the scene, ruining its beauty with something evil, small, and terrifying. He was keeping a terrible thought alive. His mind was considering selfish motives.
In Henriot himself imagination had grown curiously heated, fed by what had been suggested rather than actually said. Ideas of immensity crowded his brain, yet never assumed definite shape. They were familiar, even as this strange woman was familiar. Once, long ago, he had known them well; had even practised them beneath these bright Egyptian stars. Whence came this prodigious glad excitement in his heart, this sense of mighty Powers coaxed down to influence the very details of daily life? Behind them, for all their vagueness, lay an archetypal splendour, fraught with forgotten meanings. He had always been aware of it in this mysterious land, but it had ever hitherto eluded him. It hovered everywhere. He had felt it brooding behind the towering Colossi at Thebes, in the skeletons of wasted temples, in the uncouth comeliness of the Sphinx, and in the crude terror of the Pyramids even. Over the whole of Egypt hung its invisible wings. These were but isolated fragments of the Body that might express it. And the Desert remained its cleanest, truest symbol. Sand knew it closest. Sand might even give it bodily form and outline.
In Henriot, imagination had become strangely intense, fueled by what had been implied rather than explicitly stated. Ideas of vastness filled his mind, yet never took a clear form. They felt familiar, just like this unusual woman felt familiar. Long ago, he had known them well; he had even practiced them beneath these bright Egyptian stars. Where did this immense joy in his heart come from, this feeling of powerful forces drawn down to affect the smallest details of everyday life? Behind their ambiguity lay an archetypal beauty filled with forgotten meanings. He had always sensed it in this mysterious land, but it had always eluded him before. It seemed to linger everywhere. He had felt it hovering behind the towering Colossi at Thebes, in the remnants of crumbled temples, in the strange beauty of the Sphinx, and even in the raw awe of the Pyramids. An unseen presence covered all of Egypt. These were just isolated pieces of the larger entity that might express it. And the Desert remained its purest, truest symbol. Sand knew it best. Sand could even give it form and outline.
But, while it escaped description in his mind, as equally it eluded visualisation in his soul, he felt that it combined with its vastness something infinitely small as well. Of such wee particles is the giant Desert born....
But, while it was beyond description in his mind, just as it slipped away from visualization in his soul, he sensed that it held, alongside its vastness, something infinitely tiny as well. From such tiny particles, the giant Desert is formed...
Henriot started nervously in his chair, convicted once more of unconscionable staring; and at the same moment a group of hotel people, returning from a dance, passed through the hall and nodded him good-night. The scent of the women reached him; and with it the sound of their voices discussing personalities just left behind. A London atmosphere came with them. He caught trivial phrases, uttered in a drawling tone, and followed by the shrill laughter of a girl. They passed upstairs, discussing their little things, like marionettes upon a tiny stage.
Henriot jumped nervously in his chair, once again feeling guilty about staring. At the same moment, a group of hotel guests who had just come back from a dance walked through the lobby and nodded goodnight to him. He caught the scent of the women, along with their voices chatting about the people they had just left behind. A London vibe came with them. He overheard trivial phrases spoken in a lazy drawl, followed by the high-pitched laughter of a girl. They went upstairs, talking about their little dramas, like puppets on a small stage.
But their passage brought him back to things of modern life, and to some standard of familiar measurement. The pictures that his soul had gazed at so deep within, he realised, were a pictorial transfer caught incompletely from this woman's vivid mind. He had seen the Desert as the grey, enormous Tomb where hovered still the Ka of ancient Egypt. Sand screened her visage with the veil of centuries. But She was there, and She was living. Egypt herself had pitched a temporary camp in him, and then moved on.
But their passage reminded him of modern life and brought him back to familiar standards. He realized that the images his soul had deeply contemplated were just a partial reproduction of this woman's vivid imagination. He had envisioned the Desert as the vast, gray Tomb where the spirit of ancient Egypt lingered. Sand obscured her face with the veil of centuries. But she was present, and she was alive. Egypt itself had set up a temporary camp within him and then moved on.
There was a momentary break, a sense of abruptness and dislocation. And then he became aware that Lady Statham had been speaking for some time before he caught her actual words, and that a certain change had come into her voice as also into her manner.
There was a brief pause, a feeling of suddenness and disconnection. And then he realized that Lady Statham had been talking for a while before he actually heard her words, and that a noticeable shift had occurred in her voice as well as in her demeanor.
V
She was leaning closer to him, her face suddenly glowing and alive. Through the stone figure coursed the fires of a passion that deepened the coal-black eyes and communicated a hint of light—of exaltation—to her whole person. It was incredibly moving. To this deep passion was due the power he had felt. It was her entire life; she lived for it, she would die for it. Her calmness of manner enhanced its effect. Hence the strength of those first impressions that had stormed him. The woman had belief; however wild and strange, it was sacred to her. The secret of her influence was—conviction.
She was leaning closer to him, her face suddenly glowing and full of life. A fire of passion ran through the stone figure, deepening her coal-black eyes and adding a hint of light—of joy—to her whole being. It was incredibly moving. This deep passion was the source of the power he felt. It was her whole life; she lived for it, she would die for it. Her calm demeanor heightened its impact. That’s why those first impressions had overwhelmed him. The woman had belief; no matter how wild or strange, it was sacred to her. The secret of her influence was—conviction.
His attitude shifted several points then. The wonder in him passed over into awe. The things she knew were real. They were not merely imaginative speculations.
His attitude changed significantly then. The wonder in him transformed into awe. The things she knew were real. They weren't just imaginative ideas.
"I knew I was not wrong in thinking you in sympathy with this line of thought," she was saying in lower voice, steady with earnestness, and as though she had read his mind. "You, too, know, though perhaps you hardly realise that you know. It lies so deep in you that you only get vague feelings of it—intimations of memory. Isn't that the case?"
"I knew I wasn't wrong in thinking you agreed with this way of thinking," she said in a lower voice, steady with sincerity, as if she had read his mind. "You also know, even if you don't quite realize it. It’s buried so deep inside you that you only have vague feelings about it—hints of memories. Isn't that true?"
Henriot gave assent with his eyes; it was the truth.
Henriot nodded in agreement; it was the truth.
"What we know instinctively," she continued, "is simply what we are trying to remember. Knowledge is memory." She paused a moment watching his face closely. "At least, you are free from that cheap scepticism which labels these old beliefs as superstition." It was not even a question.
"What we know instinctively," she continued, "is just what we're trying to remember. Knowledge is memory." She paused for a moment, watching his face closely. "At least, you're free from that shallow skepticism that calls these old beliefs superstition." It wasn't even a question.
"I—worship real belief—of any kind," he stammered, for her words and the close proximity of her atmosphere caused a strange upheaval in his heart that he could not account for. He faltered in his speech. "It is the most vital quality in life—rarer than deity." He was using her own phrases even. "It is creative. It constructs the world anew—"
"I—worship genuine belief—of any kind," he stuttered, as her words and the closeness of her presence stirred something unexpected in his heart. He hesitated in his speech. "It’s the most essential quality in life—rarer than a god." He was even echoing her own phrases. "It’s creative. It rebuilds the world—"
"And may reconstruct the old."
"And may recreate the old."
She said it, lifting her face above him a little, so that her eyes looked down into his own. It grew big and somehow masculine. It was the face of a priest, spiritual power in it. Where, oh where in the echoing Past had he known this woman's soul? He saw her in another setting, a forest of columns dim about her, towering above giant aisles. Again he felt the Desert had come close. Into this tent-like hall of the hotel came the sifting of tiny sand. It heaped softly about the very furniture against his feet, blocking the exits of door and window. It shrouded the little present. The wind that brought it stirred a veil that had hung for ages motionless....
She said it, lifting her face slightly above him so that her eyes looked down into his. It became wider and somehow more masculine. It was the face of a priest, holding spiritual power. Where, oh where in the distant past had he encountered this woman's soul? He imagined her in a different setting, a forest of columns dimly surrounding her, towering over giant aisles. He once again felt that the desert had come close. Tiny grains of sand filtered into this tent-like hall of the hotel. It gathered softly around the furniture at his feet, blocking the exits of the doors and windows. It obscured the small present. The wind that brought it stirred a veil that had hung motionless for ages...
She had been saying many things that he had missed while his mind went searching. "There were types of life the Atlantean system knew it might revive—life unmanifested to-day in any bodily form," was the sentence he caught with his return to the actual present.
She had been saying a lot of things that he had missed while his mind was wandering. "There were types of life that the Atlantean system knew it could bring back—life that isn’t currently shown in any physical form," was the sentence he caught as he returned to the present moment.
"A type of life?" he whispered, looking about him, as though to see who it was had joined them; "you mean a—soul? Some kind of soul, alien to humanity, or to—to any forms of living thing in the world to-day?" What she had been saying reached him somehow, it seemed, though he had not heard the words themselves. Still hesitating, he was yet so eager to hear. Already he felt she meant to include him in her purposes, and that in the end he must go willingly. So strong was her persuasion on his mind.
"A type of life?" he whispered, glancing around as if to figure out who else was present; "you mean a—soul? Some sort of soul, foreign to humanity, or to—to any forms of life in the world today?" What she had said seemed to register with him somehow, even though he hadn’t caught the actual words. Still unsure, he was nonetheless eager to listen. He could already tell she intended to involve him in her plans, and that ultimately, he would have to agree. Her influence over his thoughts was that powerful.
And he felt as if he knew vaguely what was coming. Before she answered his curious question—prompting it indeed—rose in his mind that strange idea of the Group-Soul: the theory that big souls cannot express themselves in a single individual, but need an entire group for their full manifestation.
And he had a sense that he knew vaguely what was coming. Before she answered his curious question—which actually prompted it—he recalled that strange idea of the Group-Soul: the theory that large souls can't fully express themselves through just one person but require an entire group for their complete manifestation.
He listened intently. The reflection that this sudden intimacy was unnatural, he rejected, for many conversations were really gathered into one. Long watching and preparation on both sides had cleared the way for the ripening of acquaintance into confidence—how long he dimly wondered? But if this conception of the Group-Soul was not new, the suggestion Lady Statham developed out of it was both new and startling—and yet always so curiously familiar. Its value for him lay, not in far-fetched evidence that supported it, but in the deep belief which made it a vital asset in an honest inner life.
He listened closely. He dismissed the thought that this sudden closeness was unnatural because many conversations came together into one. Long periods of observation and preparation on both sides had laid the groundwork for familiarity to grow into trust—he wondered how long that had taken, though it was unclear. But while the idea of the Group-Soul wasn't new, the point that Lady Statham made from it was both fresh and surprising—and yet somehow always felt familiar. Its significance for him wasn't found in obscure evidence backing it up, but in the strong belief that made it an essential part of a genuine inner life.
"An individual," she said quietly, "one soul expressed completely in a single person, I mean, is exceedingly rare. Not often is a physical instrument found perfect enough to provide it with adequate expression. In the lower ranges of humanity—certainly in animal and insect life—one soul is shared by many. Behind a tribe of savages stands one Savage. A flock of birds is a single Bird, scattered through the consciousness of all. They wheel in mid-air, they migrate, they obey the deep intelligence called instinct—all as one. The life of any one lion is the life of all—the lion group-soul that manifests itself in the entire genus. An ant-heap is a single Ant; through the bees spreads the consciousness of a single Bee."
"An individual," she said quietly, "a single soul fully expressed in one person, is extremely rare. It's not often that a physical being is found perfect enough to fully convey it. Among lower forms of humanity—definitely in animal and insect life—one soul is shared by many. Behind a tribe of savages stands one Savage. A flock of birds represents one Bird, spread out across the awareness of all. They fly in unison, they migrate, they follow the deep intelligence we call instinct—all as one. The life of any one lion reflects the life of all—it's the lion group-soul that shows itself in the entire species. An ant colony is one Ant; through the bees, the consciousness of a single Bee extends."
Henriot knew what she was working up to. In his eagerness to hasten disclosure he interrupted—
Henriot knew what she was getting at. In his eagerness to speed things up, he interrupted—
"And there may be types of life that have no corresponding bodily expression at all, then?" he asked as though the question were forced out of him. "They exist as Powers—unmanifested on the earth to-day?"
"And there might be kinds of life that don’t have any physical form at all, right?" he asked as if the question had to come out. "They exist as Powers—unseen on Earth today?"
"Powers," she answered, watching him closely with unswerving stare, "that need a group to provide their body—their physical expression—if they came back."
"Powers," she replied, observing him intently with a steady gaze, "that require a group to manifest their body—their physical expression—if they were to return."
"Came back!" he repeated below his breath.
"Came back!" he said under his breath.
But she heard him. "They once had expression. Egypt, Atlantis knew them—spiritual Powers that never visit the world to-day."
But she heard him. "They once had expression. Egypt, Atlantis knew them—spiritual powers that never visit the world today."
"Bodies," he whispered softly, "actual bodies?"
"Bodies," he whispered softly, "real bodies?"
"Their sphere of action, you see, would be their body. And it might be physical outline. So potent a descent of spiritual life would select materials for its body where it could find them. Our conventional notion of a body—what is it? A single outline moving altogether in one direction. For little human souls, or fragments, this is sufficient. But for vaster types of soul an entire host would be required."
"Their range of influence, as you can see, would be their body. And it might represent their physical form. Such a powerful influx of spiritual energy would gather materials for its body wherever possible. Our typical idea of a body—what is it? A single shape moving as one. For small human souls, or fragments, this is enough. But for larger types of souls, an entire army would be necessary."
"A church?" he ventured. "Some Body of belief, you surely mean?"
"A church?" he asked. "You must mean some kind of belief system?"
She bowed her head a moment in assent. She was determined he should seize her meaning fully.
She nodded her head for a moment in agreement. She was determined that he should completely understand what she meant.
"A wave of spiritual awakening—a descent of spiritual life upon a nation," she answered slowly, "forms itself a church, and the body of true believers are its sphere of action. They are literally its bodily expression. Each individual believer is a corpuscle in that Body. The Power has provided itself with a vehicle of manifestation. Otherwise we could not know it. And the more real the belief of each individual, the more perfect the expression of the spiritual life behind them all. A Group-soul walks the earth. Moreover, a nation naturally devout could attract a type of soul unknown to a nation that denies all faith. Faith brings back the gods.... But to-day belief is dead, and Deity has left the world."
"A wave of spiritual awakening—a surge of spiritual life over a nation," she replied slowly, "creates a church, and the true believers are where it acts. They are, in fact, its physical expression. Each believer is like a cell in that Body. The Power has given itself a way to show itself. Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to recognize it. And the more genuine each person's faith is, the clearer the expression of the spiritual life that connects them all. A collective spirit walks the earth. Furthermore, a naturally devout nation can draw in a type of soul that's absent in a nation that rejects all faith. Faith brings back the gods.... But today, belief is dead, and the Divine has departed from the world."
She talked on and on, developing this main idea that in days of older faiths there were deific types of life upon the earth, evoked by worship and beneficial to humanity. They had long ago withdrawn because the worship which brought them down had died the death. The world had grown pettier. These vast centres of Spiritual Power found no "Body" in which they now could express themselves or manifest.... Her thoughts and phrases poured over him like sand. It was always sand he felt—burying the Present and uncovering the Past....
She went on and on, expanding on the main idea that in the days of older religions, there were divine beings on Earth, called forth by worship and beneficial to humanity. They had long since withdrawn because the worship that summoned them had faded away. The world had become smaller and less significant. These great centers of Spiritual Power found no "Body" in which they could express themselves or manifest now.... Her thoughts and words washed over him like sand. It was always sand he felt—burying the Present and revealing the Past....
He tried to steady his mind upon familiar objects, but wherever he looked Sand stared him in the face. Outside these trivial walls the Desert lay listening. It lay waiting too. Vance himself had dropped out of recognition. He belonged to the world of things to-day. But this woman and himself stood thousands of years away, beneath the columns of a Temple in the sands. And the sands were moving. His feet went shifting with them ... running down vistas of ageless memory that woke terror by their sheer immensity of distance....
He tried to focus on familiar things, but everywhere he looked, sand was staring back at him. Outside these unremarkable walls, the desert lay in wait. Vance himself had faded from recognition. He was part of the world as it is today. But this woman and he felt like they were thousands of years away, beneath the columns of a temple in the sand. And the sand was shifting. His feet were moving with it...running down endless paths of ancient memories that stirred fear with their overwhelming distance....
Like a muffled voice that called to him through many veils and wrappings, he heard her describe the stupendous Powers that evocation might coax down again among the world of men.
Like a muffled voice calling to him through multiple layers and coverings, he heard her describe the incredible Powers that evocation might summon back into the world of humans.
"To what useful end?" he asked at length, amazed at his own temerity, and because he knew instinctively the answer in advance. It rose through these layers of coiling memory in his soul.
"What's the point?" he asked finally, surprised at his own boldness, and because he already knew the answer deep down. It emerged from these layers of tangled memories in his soul.
"The extension of spiritual knowledge and the widening of life," she answered. "The link with the 'unearthly kingdom' wherein this ancient system went forever searching, would be re-established. Complete rehabilitation might follow. Portions—little portions of these Powers—expressed themselves naturally once in certain animal types, instinctive life that did not deny or reject them. The worship of sacred animals was the relic of a once gigantic system of evocation—not of monsters," and she smiled sadly, "but of Powers that were willing and ready to descend when worship summoned them."
"The expansion of spiritual knowledge and the broadening of life," she replied. "The connection with the 'otherworldly realm' that this ancient system constantly sought would be restored. Complete healing might follow. Bits—small bits of these Powers—used to express themselves naturally in certain animal types, instinctive life that didn’t deny or reject them. The worship of sacred animals was a remnant of a once-massive system of evocation—not of monsters," and she smiled sadly, "but of Powers that were willing and ready to come down when called upon by worship."
Again, beneath his breath, Henriot heard himself murmur—his own voice startled him as he whispered it: "Actual bodily shape and outline?"
Again, under his breath, Henriot heard himself murmur—his own voice surprised him as he whispered it: "Actual body shape and outline?"
"Material for bodies is everywhere," she answered, equally low; "dust to which we all return; sand, if you prefer it, fine, fine sand. Life moulds it easily enough, when that life is potent."
"Material for bodies is everywhere," she replied softly; "dust to which we all return; sand, if you like, fine, fine sand. Life shapes it pretty easily when that life is strong."
A certain confusion spread slowly through his mind as he heard her. He lit a cigarette and smoked some minutes in silence. Lady Statham and her nephew waited for him to speak. At length, after some inner battling and hesitation, he put the question that he knew they waited for. It was impossible to resist any longer.
A certain confusion gradually settled in his mind as he listened to her. He lit a cigarette and smoked in silence for a few minutes. Lady Statham and her nephew waited for him to say something. Finally, after some internal struggle and hesitation, he asked the question he knew they were waiting for. It was impossible to hold back any longer.
"It would be interesting to know the method," he said, "and to revive, perhaps, by experiment—"
"It would be interesting to know the method," he said, "and to try to bring it back, maybe, through experimentation—"
Before he could complete his thought, she took him up:
Before he could finish his thought, she interrupted him:
"There are some who claim to know it," she said gravely—her eyes a moment masterful. "A clue, thus followed, might lead to the entire reconstruction I spoke of."
"There are some who say they know it," she said seriously—her eyes briefly commanding. "A clue, if pursued, could lead to the complete reconstruction I mentioned."
"And the method?" he repeated faintly.
"And the method?" he echoed weakly.
"Evoke the Power by ceremonial evocation—the ritual is obtainable—and note the form it assumes. Then establish it. This shape or outline once secured, could then be made permanent—a mould for its return at will—its natural physical expression here on earth."
"Evoke the Power through ceremonial invocation—the ritual is available—and observe the form it takes. Then solidify it. Once you have secured this shape or outline, it can be made permanent—a mold for its return whenever desired—its natural physical expression here on earth."
"Idol!" he exclaimed.
"Icon!" he exclaimed.
"Image," she replied at once. "Life, before we can know it, must have a body. Our souls, in order to manifest here, need a material vehicle."
"Image," she replied immediately. "Life, before we can understand it, needs to have a physical form. Our souls, in order to express themselves here, require a tangible vehicle."
"And—to obtain this form or outline?" he began; "to fix it, rather?"
"And—to get this shape or outline?" he started; "to establish it, right?"
"Would be required the clever pencil of a fearless looker-on—some one not engaged in the actual evocation. This form, accurately made permanent in solid matter, say in stone, would provide a channel always open. Experiment, properly speaking, might then begin. The cisterns of Power behind would be accessible."
"Creating this would need the skillful hand of a brave observer—someone not directly involved in the actual process. This form, precisely captured in a solid medium like stone, would establish a constantly available channel. Real experimentation could then commence. The sources of Power behind would be reachable."
"An amazing proposition!" Henriot exclaimed. What surprised him was that he felt no desire to laugh, and little even to doubt.
"An amazing idea!" Henriot exclaimed. What surprised him was that he felt no urge to laugh, and hardly any doubt at all.
"Yet known to every religion that ever deserved the name," put in Vance like a voice from a distance. Blackness came somehow with his interruption—a touch of darkness. He spoke eagerly.
"Yet known to every religion that ever deserved the name," Vance interjected, almost like a voice from afar. His interruption brought a sense of darkness with it—an air of blackness. He spoke with enthusiasm.
To all the talk that followed, and there was much of it, Henriot listened with but half an ear. This one idea stormed through him with an uproar that killed attention. Judgment was held utterly in abeyance. He carried away from it some vague suggestion that this woman had hinted at previous lives she half remembered, and that every year she came to Egypt, haunting the sands and temples in the effort to recover lost clues. And he recalled afterwards that she said, "This all came to me as a child, just as though it was something half remembered." There was the further suggestion that he himself was not unknown to her; that they, too, had met before. But this, compared to the grave certainty of the rest, was merest fantasy that did not hold his attention. He answered, hardly knowing what he said. His preoccupation with other thoughts deep down was so intense, that he was probably barely polite, uttering empty phrases, with his mind elsewhere. His one desire was to escape and be alone, and it was with genuine relief that he presently excused himself and went upstairs to bed. The halls, he noticed, were empty; an Arab servant waited to put the lights out. He walked up, for the lift had long ceased running.
To all the chatter that followed, and there was a lot of it, Henriot listened with only half an ear. One idea crashed through him with a noise that drowned out everything else. His judgment was completely sidelined. He left with a vague impression that this woman had mentioned past lives she kind of remembered and that she came to Egypt every year, wandering the sands and temples in search of lost clues. He recalled later that she said, "This all came to me as a child, just like it was something half remembered." There was also the suggestion that he wasn’t unfamiliar to her; that they had met before. But this, compared to the serious certainty of everything else, felt like mere fantasy that didn’t capture his attention. He responded, hardly aware of what he was saying. His preoccupation with other thoughts deep down was so intense that he was probably barely polite, spouting meaningless phrases, with his mind elsewhere. His only desire was to get away and be alone, and he felt a genuine sense of relief when he finally excused himself and went upstairs to bed. The halls, he noticed, were empty; an Arab servant was waiting to turn out the lights. He walked up, as the lift had long stopped running.
And the magic of old Egypt stalked beside him. The studies that had fascinated his mind in earlier youth returned with the power that had subdued his mind in boyhood. The cult of Osiris woke in his blood again; Horus and Nephthys stirred in their long-forgotten centres. There revived in him, too long buried, the awful glamour of those liturgal rites and vast body of observances, those spells and formulae of incantation of the oldest known recension that years ago had captured his imagination and belief—the Book of the Dead. Trumpet voices called to his heart again across the desert of some dim past. There were forms of life—impulses from the Creative Power which is the Universe—other than the soul of man. They could be known. A spiritual exaltation, roused by the words and presence of this singular woman, shouted to him as he went.
And the magic of ancient Egypt walked alongside him. The studies that had captivated his mind in his younger years returned with the intensity that had overwhelmed him in childhood. The worship of Osiris awakened within him again; Horus and Nephthys stirred in their long-forgotten places. He felt rise again, too long buried, the chilling allure of those ceremonial rituals and vast set of observances, those spells and formulas of incantation from the oldest known version that had captured his imagination and faith years ago—the Book of the Dead. Voiced like trumpets, echoes from a distant past called to his heart. There were forms of life—impulses from the Creative Power that is the Universe—beyond just the human soul. They could be understood. A spiritual uplift, ignited by the words and presence of this extraordinary woman, beckoned to him as he proceeded.
Then, as he closed his bedroom door, carefully locking it, there stood beside him—Vance. The forgotten figure of Vance came up close—the watching eyes, the simulated interest, the feigned belief, the detective mental attitude, these broke through the grandiose panorama, bringing darkness. Vance, strong personality that hid behind assumed nonentity for some purpose of his own, intruded with sudden violence, demanding an explanation of his presence.
Then, as he closed his bedroom door and carefully locked it, Vance was right there next to him. The long-forgotten figure of Vance stepped closer—those watchful eyes, the fake interest, the pretend belief, the detective-like mentality, all cut through the grand scene, bringing a sense of foreboding. Vance, a strong personality hiding behind a facade of insignificance for his own reasons, intruded with startling intensity, demanding to know why he was there.
And, with an equal suddenness, explanation offered itself then and there. It came unsought, its horror of certainty utterly unjustified; and it came in this unexpected fashion:
And then, just as suddenly, an explanation presented itself right then and there. It appeared uninvited, its shocking certainty completely unjustified; and it came in this unexpected way:
Behind the interest and acquiescence of the man ran—fear: but behind the vivid fear ran another thing that Henriot now perceived was vile. For the first time in his life, Henriot knew it at close quarters, actual, ready to operate. Though familiar enough in daily life to be of common occurrence, Henriot had never realised it as he did now, so close and terrible. In the same way he had never realised that he would die—vanish from the busy world of men and women, forgotten as though he had never existed, an eddy of wind-blown dust. And in the man named Richard Vance this thing was close upon blossom. Henriot could not name it to himself. Even in thought it appalled him.
Behind the man's interest and agreement was fear: but beneath that vivid fear was something else that Henriot now recognized as vile. For the first time in his life, Henriot felt it up close, real, and ready to act. Although he had seen it often in daily life, he had never understood it the way he did now, so near and terrifying. Similarly, he had never fully understood that he would die—disappear from the bustling world of men and women, forgotten as if he had never existed, like a swirl of dust in the wind. And in the man named Richard Vance, this idea was about to bloom. Henriot couldn’t put a name to it, even in his thoughts it horrified him.
He undressed hurriedly, almost with the child's idea of finding safety between the sheets. His mind undressed itself as well. The business of the day laid itself automatically aside; the will sank down; desire grew inactive. Henriot was exhausted. But, in that stage towards slumber when thinking stops, and only fugitive pictures pass across the mind in shadowy dance, his brain ceased shouting its mechanical explanations, and his soul unveiled a peering eye. Great limbs of memory, smothered by the activities of the Present, stirred their stiffened lengths through the sands of long ago—sands this woman had begun to excavate from some far-off pre-existence they had surely known together. Vagueness and certainty ran hand in hand. Details were unrecoverable, but the emotions in which they were embedded moved.
He quickly undressed, almost like a child looking for safety under the covers. His mind shed its worries too. The day’s concerns faded away; his willpower weakened; his desires became dormant. Henriot was worn out. But in that moment just before falling asleep, when thoughts fade and only fleeting images flicker in the mind, his brain stopped its constant chatter, and his soul revealed a curious side. Powerful memories, buried beneath the busyness of the present, began to stretch and awaken from the distant past—memories that this woman seemed to unearth from some shared previous existence. Confusion and clarity walked hand in hand. The specifics eluded him, but the feelings tied to them stirred.
He turned restlessly in his bed, striving to seize the amazing clues and follow them. But deliberate effort hid them instantly again; they retired instantly into the subconsciousness. With the brain of this body he now occupied they had nothing to do. The brain stored memories of each life only. This ancient script was graven in his soul. Subconsciousness alone could interpret and reveal. And it was his subconscious memory that Lady Statham had been so busily excavating.
He tossed and turned in his bed, trying to grasp the incredible clues and chase after them. But whenever he tried to focus, they vanished right away; they slipped back into his subconscious. The brain of the body he was in had nothing to do with them. It only held memories of each life. This ancient writing was etched in his soul. Only the subconscious could make sense of it and uncover it. And it was his subconscious memory that Lady Statham had been digging into so intently.
Dimly it stirred and moved about the depths within him, never clearly seen, indefinite, felt as a yearning after unrecoverable knowledge. Against the darker background of Vance's fear and sinister purpose—both of this present life, and recent—he saw the grandeur of this woman's impossible dream, and knew, beyond argument or reason, that it was true. Judgment and will asleep, he left the impossibility aside, and took the grandeur. The Belief of Lady Statham was not credulity and superstition; it was Memory. Still to this day, over the sands of Egypt, hovered immense spiritual potencies, so vast that they could only know physical expression in a group—in many. Their sphere of bodily manifestation must be a host, each individual unit in that host a corpuscle in the whole.
Dimly, it stirred and moved around in the depths of him, never clearly seen, indefinite, felt as a longing for knowledge that couldn't be recovered. Against the darker backdrop of Vance's fear and sinister intentions—both in this life and recently—he recognized the grandeur of this woman's impossible dream, and knew, beyond any argument or reason, that it was true. With his judgment and will asleep, he set aside the impossibility and embraced the grandeur. Lady Statham's belief wasn't just gullibility or superstition; it was memory. Even to this day, over the sands of Egypt, immense spiritual forces hovered, so vast that they could only express themselves physically in a group—in many. Their realm of physical manifestation had to be a multitude, with each individual unit being a part of the whole.
The wind, rising from the Lybian wastes across the Nile, swept up against the exposed side of the hotel, and made his windows rattle—the old, sad winds of Egypt. Henriot got out of bed to fasten the outside shutters. He stood a moment and watched the moon floating down behind the Sakkara Pyramids. The Pleiades and Orion's Belt hung brilliantly; the Great Bear was close to the horizon. In the sky above the Desert swung ten thousand stars. No sounds rose from the streets of Helouan. The tide of sand was coming slowly in.
The wind, blowing from the Libyan desert across the Nile, hit the exposed side of the hotel, causing his windows to rattle—the old, mournful winds of Egypt. Henriot got out of bed to close the outside shutters. He paused for a moment and watched the moon sinking behind the Sakkara Pyramids. The Pleiades and Orion's Belt shone brightly; the Great Bear was near the horizon. The sky above the desert was filled with thousands of stars. No sounds came from the streets of Helouan. The sand was gradually shifting in.
And a flock of enormous thoughts swooped past him from fields of this unbelievable, lost memory. The Desert, pale in the moon, was coextensive with the night, too huge for comfort or understanding, yet charged to the brim with infinite peace. Behind its majesty of silence lay whispers of a vanished language that once could call with power upon mighty spiritual Agencies. Its skirts were folded now, but, slowly across the leagues of sand, they began to stir and rearrange themselves. He grew suddenly aware of this enveloping shroud of sand—as the raw material of bodily expression: Form.
And a wave of massive thoughts swept past him from the fields of this incredible, forgotten memory. The Desert, pale under the moon, stretched endlessly into the night, far too vast for comfort or understanding, yet filled to the brim with endless peace. Behind its majestic silence were whispers of a lost language that once could summon powerful spiritual forces. Its edges were still now, but slowly across the stretches of sand, they began to shift and reorganize. He suddenly became aware of this enveloping layer of sand—as the fundamental element of physical expression: Form.
The sand was in his imagination and his mind. Shaking loosely the folds of its gigantic skirts, it rose; it moved a little towards him. He saw the eternal countenance of the Desert watching him—immobile and unchanging behind these shifting veils the winds laid so carefully over it. Egypt, the ancient Egypt, turned in her vast sarcophagus of Desert, wakening from her sleep of ages at the Belief of approaching worshippers.
The sand was in his imagination and his mind. Shaking the folds of its huge skirts, it rose; it moved a little toward him. He saw the eternal face of the Desert watching him—still and unchanging behind the shifting veils the winds laid so carefully over it. Egypt, ancient Egypt, stirred in her vast sarcophagus of Desert, waking from her long sleep at the thought of coming worshippers.
Only in this insignificant manner could he express a letter of the terrific language that crowded to seek expression through his soul.... He closed the shutters and carefully fastened them. He turned to go back to bed, curiously trembling. Then, as he did so, the whole singular delusion caught him with a shock that held him motionless. Up rose the stupendous apparition of the entire Desert and stood behind him on that balcony. Swift as thought, in silence, the Desert stood on end against his very face. It towered across the sky, hiding Orion and the moon; it dipped below the horizons. The whole grey sheet of it rose up before his eyes and stood. Through its unfolding skirts ran ten thousand eddies of swirling sand as the creases of its grave-clothes smoothed themselves out in moonlight. And a bleak, scarred countenance, huge as a planet, gazed down into his own....
Only in this small way could he convey a piece of the incredible language that was trying to find a voice through his soul... He closed the shutters and securely locked them. He turned to head back to bed, feeling a strange tremor. Then, as he did, the whole bizarre illusion hit him like a shock that kept him frozen. Up rose the immense vision of the entire Desert, standing behind him on that balcony. As quick as thought, the Desert loomed in silence right in front of him. It towered across the sky, blocking Orion and the moon; it dipped below the horizons. The entire grey expanse rose before his eyes and stood still. Through its unfolding edges, ten thousand swirls of sand danced as the folds of its shrouds smoothed out in the moonlight. And a bleak, scarred face, as large as a planet, looked down into his own...
Through his dreamless sleep that night two things lay active and awake ... in the subconscious part that knows no slumber. They were incongruous. One was evil, small and human; the other unearthly and sublime. For the memory of the fear that haunted Vance, and the sinister cause of it, pricked at him all night long. But behind, beyond this common, intelligible emotion, lay the crowding wonder that caught his soul with glory:
Through his dreamless sleep that night, two things remained active and awake in the subconscious part that doesn't sleep. They were mismatched. One was evil, small, and human; the other was unearthly and sublime. The memory of the fear that haunted Vance, along with its sinister cause, nagged at him all night. But behind and beyond this familiar, understandable emotion lay the overwhelming wonder that filled his soul with glory:
The Sand was stirring, the Desert was awake. Ready to mate with them in material form, brooded close the Ka of that colossal Entity that once expressed itself through the myriad life of ancient Egypt.
The sand was shifting, the desert was alive. Ready to connect with them in a physical way, the essence of that massive being that once manifested itself through the countless lives of ancient Egypt hovered nearby.
VI
Next day, and for several days following, Henriot kept out of the path of Lady Statham and her nephew. The acquaintanceship had grown too rapidly to be quite comfortable. It was easy to pretend that he took people at their face value, but it was a pose; one liked to know something of antecedents. It was otherwise difficult to "place" them. And Henriot, for the life of him, could not "place" these two. His Subconsciousness brought explanation when it came—but the Subconsciousness is only temporarily active. When it retired he floundered without a rudder, in confusion.
The next day, and for several days afterward, Henriot stayed clear of Lady Statham and her nephew. Their relationship had developed too quickly to feel entirely comfortable. He could easily act like he took people at face value, but that was just a facade; he preferred to understand a little about their backgrounds. Otherwise, it was hard to "place" them. And Henriot, for the life of him, couldn't "place" these two. His subconscious would provide explanations eventually—but it only worked temporarily. When it faded away, he was left stumbling around without direction, feeling confused.
With the flood of morning sunshine the value of much she had said evaporated. Her presence alone had supplied the key to the cipher. But while the indigestible portions he rejected, there remained a good deal he had already assimilated. The discomfort remained; and with it the grave, unholy reality of it all. It was something more than theory. Results would follow—if he joined them. He would witness curious things.
With the morning sunshine pouring in, a lot of what she had said seemed to fade away. Just her being there had unlocked the code. But while he dismissed the parts he couldn't handle, there was still a lot he had taken in. The unease lingered, along with the serious, unsettling truth of it all. It was more than just theory. There would be consequences—if he got involved. He would see some strange things.
The force with which it drew him brought hesitation. It operated in him like a shock that numbs at first by its abrupt arrival, and needs time to realise in the right proportions to the rest of life. These right proportions, however, did not come readily, and his emotions ranged between sceptical laughter and complete acceptance. The one detail he felt certain of was this dreadful thing he had divined in Vance. Trying hard to disbelieve it, he found he could not. It was true. Though without a shred of real evidence to support it, the horror of it remained. He knew it in his very bones.
The force that pulled him in made him hesitate. It hit him like a sudden shock that numbs you at first, needing time to settle in alongside everything else in life. However, those right proportions didn't come easily, and his emotions swung between skeptical laughter and full acceptance. The one thing he was sure of was this terrible truth he sensed in Vance. Despite trying hard to doubt it, he found he couldn't. It was real. Even without any solid evidence, the horror of it lingered. He felt it deep in his bones.
And this, perhaps, was what drove him to seek the comforting companionship of folk he understood and felt at home with. He told his host and hostess about the strangers, though omitting the actual conversation because they would merely smile in blank miscomprehension. But the moment he described the strong black eyes beneath the level eyelids, his hostess turned with a start, her interest deeply roused: "Why, it's that awful Statham woman," she exclaimed, "that must be Lady Statham, and the man she calls her nephew."
And maybe this was what made him look for the comforting company of people he understood and felt comfortable with. He shared with his host and hostess about the strangers, leaving out the actual conversation because they would just smile in confusion. But as soon as he described the intense black eyes under the straight eyelids, his hostess jumped in surprise, her interest piqued: "Oh, that terrible Statham woman," she said, "that has to be Lady Statham, and the man she calls her nephew."
"Sounds like it, certainly," her husband added. "Felix, you'd better clear out. They'll bewitch you too."
"Sounds like it, for sure," her husband added. "Felix, you should better get out of here. They'll put a spell on you too."
And Henriot bridled, yet wondering why he did so. He drew into his shell a little, giving the merest sketch of what had happened. But he listened closely while these two practical old friends supplied him with information in the gossiping way that human nature loves. No doubt there was much embroidery, and more perversion, exaggeration too, but the account evidently rested upon some basis of solid foundation for all that. Smoke and fire go together always.
And Henriot felt defensive, although he wasn't sure why. He retreated a bit, offering just a brief outline of what had happened. But he listened intently as these two practical old friends filled him in with the kind of gossip that people enjoy. There was probably a lot of embellishment, distortion, and exaggeration, but the story clearly had some solid truth behind it. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
"He is her nephew right enough," Mansfield corrected his wife, before proceeding to his own man's form of elaboration; "no question about that, I believe. He's her favourite nephew, and she's as rich as a pig. He follows her out here every year, waiting for her empty shoes. But they are an unsavoury couple. I've met 'em in various parts, all over Egypt, but they always come back to Helouan in the end. And the stories about them are simply legion. You remember—" he turned hesitatingly to his wife—"some people, I heard," he changed his sentence, "were made quite ill by her."
"He is her nephew for sure," Mansfield corrected his wife, then added in his own way, "no doubt about that. He's her favorite nephew, and she's loaded. He follows her out here every year, just waiting for her to kick off her shoes. But they are quite a nasty pair. I've seen them in various places all over Egypt, but they always end up back in Helouan. And the stories about them are countless. You remember—" he turned to his wife hesitantly—"I heard that some people were actually made sick by her."
"I'm sure Felix ought to know, yes," his wife boldly took him up, "my niece, Fanny, had the most extraordinary experience." She turned to Henriot. "Her room was next to Lady Statham in some hotel or other at Assouan or Edfu, and one night she woke and heard a kind of mysterious chanting or intoning next her. Hotel doors are so dreadfully thin. There was a funny smell too, like incense of something sickly, and a man's voice kept chiming in. It went on for hours, while she lay terrified in bed—"
"I'm sure Felix should know, yes," his wife boldly replied, "my niece, Fanny, had the most unbelievable experience." She turned to Henriot. "Her room was next to Lady Statham's in some hotel at Assouan or Edfu, and one night she woke up to hear a sort of mysterious chanting or singing next door. Hotel doors are really thin. There was also a strange smell, like some kind of incense, and a man's voice kept coming in. It went on for hours while she lay there terrified in bed—"
"Frightened, you say?" asked Henriot.
"Scared, you say?" asked Henriot.
"Out of her skin, yes; she said it was so uncanny—made her feel icy. She wanted to ring the bell, but was afraid to leave her bed. The room was full of—of things, yet she could see nothing. She felt them, you see. And after a bit the sound of this sing-song voice so got on her nerves, it half dazed her—a kind of enchantment—she felt choked and suffocated. And then—" It was her turn to hesitate.
"Out of her skin, for sure; she said it was so strange—it made her feel cold. She wanted to ring the bell, but was scared to get out of bed. The room was filled with—well, things, but she couldn’t actually see anything. She felt them, you know. And after a while, the sound of that sing-song voice started getting on her nerves; it half-dazed her—a sort of enchantment—it made her feel choked and suffocated. And then—" It was her turn to hesitate.
"Tell it all," her husband said, quite gravely too.
"Tell me everything," her husband said, quite seriously too.
"Well—something came in. At least, she describes it oddly, rather; she said it made the door bulge inwards from the next room, but not the door alone; the walls bulged or swayed as if a huge thing pressed against them from the other side. And at the same moment her windows—she had two big balconies, and the venetian shutters were fastened—both her windows darkened—though it was two in the morning and pitch dark outside. She said it was all one thing—trying to get in; just as water, you see, would rush in through every hole and opening it could find, and all at once. And in spite of her terror—that's the odd part of it—she says she felt a kind of splendour in her—a sort of elation."
"Well—something came in. At least, she described it strangely; she said it made the door bulge inward from the next room, but not just the door; the walls bulged or swayed as if a massive force was pressing against them from the other side. At the same time, her windows—she had two big balconies, and the Venetian shutters were fastened—both her windows darkened—even though it was two in the morning and pitch dark outside. She said it was all one thing—trying to get in; just like water, you see, would rush in through every hole and opening it could find, all at once. And despite her terror—that's the strange part—she said she felt a kind of splendor in her—a sort of elation."
"She saw nothing?"
"She didn't see anything?"
"She says she doesn't remember. Her senses left her, I believe—though she won't admit it."
"She says she doesn't remember. I believe her senses abandoned her—though she won't admit it."
"Fainted for a minute, probably," said Mansfield.
"Probably fainted for a minute," Mansfield said.
"So there it is," his wife concluded, after a silence. "And that's true. It happened to my niece, didn't it, John?"
"So that’s it," his wife wrapped up after a pause. "And that’s true. It happened to my niece, right, John?"
Stories and legendary accounts of strange things that the presence of these two brought poured out then. They were obviously somewhat mixed, one account borrowing picturesque details from another, and all in disproportion, as when people tell stories in a language they are little familiar with. But, listening with avidity, yet also with uneasiness, somehow, Henriot put two and two together. Truth stood behind them somewhere. These two held traffic with the powers that ancient Egypt knew.
Stories and legendary accounts of the strange things brought about by these two began to flow. They were clearly a bit jumbled, with one story taking vivid details from another, and all of it feeling out of proportion, like when people share stories in a language they don’t know well. However, as Henriot listened eagerly yet uneasily, he started to piece things together. There was some truth behind them. These two had connections with the powers that ancient Egypt recognized.
"Tell Felix, dear, about the time you met the nephew—horrid creature—in the Valley of the Kings," he heard his wife say presently. And Mansfield told it plainly enough, evidently glad to get it done, though.
"Tell Felix about the time you met the nephew—such a terrible guy—in the Valley of the Kings," he heard his wife say shortly after. And Mansfield recounted it clearly enough, seeming relieved to have it over with, though.
"It was some years ago now, and I didn't know who he was then, or anything about him. I don't know much more now—except that he's a dangerous sort of charlatan-devil, I think. But I came across him one night up there by Thebes in the Valley of the Kings—you know, where they buried all their Johnnies with so much magnificence and processions and masses, and all the rest. It's the most astounding, the most haunted place you ever saw, gloomy, silent, full of gorgeous lights and shadows that seem alive—terribly impressive; it makes you creep and shudder. You feel old Egypt watching you."
"It was a few years ago, and I had no idea who he was or anything about him. I still don’t know much more now—except that he seems like a dangerous kind of con artist, I think. But I ran into him one night up near Thebes in the Valley of the Kings—you know, where they buried all their important people with so much grandeur and ceremonies and everything else. It's the most incredible, the most eerie place you’ve ever seen, dark, quiet, filled with beautiful lights and shadows that feel alive—really impressive; it gives you chills. You can almost feel ancient Egypt watching you."
"Get on, dear," said his wife.
"Come on, dear," said his wife.
"Well, I was coming home late on a blasted lazy donkey, dog-tired into the bargain, when my donkey boy suddenly ran for his life and left me alone. It was after sunset. The sand was red and shining, and the big cliffs sort of fiery. And my donkey stuck its four feet in the ground and wouldn't budge. Then, about fifty yards away, I saw a fellow—European apparently—doing something—Heaven knows what, for I can't describe it—among the boulders that lie all over the ground there. Ceremony, I suppose you'd call it. I was so interested that at first I watched. Then I saw he wasn't alone. There were a lot of moving things round him, towering big things, that came and went like shadows. That twilight is fearfully bewildering; perspective changes, and distance gets all confused. It's fearfully hard to see properly. I only remember that I got off my donkey and went up closer, and when I was within a dozen yards of him—well, it sounds such rot, you know, but I swear the things suddenly rushed off and left him there alone. They went with a roaring noise like wind; shadowy but tremendously big, they were, and they vanished up against the fiery precipices as though they slipped bang into the stone itself. The only thing I can think of to describe 'em is—well, those sand-storms the Khamasin raises—the hot winds, you know."
"Well, I was heading home late on a stubborn donkey, exhausted to boot, when my donkey boy suddenly took off and left me by myself. It was after sunset. The sand had a red glow, and the tall cliffs looked almost fiery. My donkey planted its four feet on the ground and refused to move. Then, about fifty yards away, I spotted a guy—apparently European—doing something—God knows what, because I can't describe it—among the boulders scattered all over the place. I guess you'd call it a ceremony. I was so intrigued that I started watching him. Then I noticed he wasn’t alone. There were a bunch of moving things around him, massive figures that came and went like shadows. That twilight can be really confusing; perspective shifts, and distances become distorted. It's truly hard to see clearly. I only remember getting off my donkey and walking closer, and when I was about a dozen yards away from him—well, it sounds crazy, but I swear those things suddenly bolted and left him there by himself. They made a roaring sound like the wind; shadowy but incredibly large, they disappeared against the fiery cliffs as if they melted right into the stone. The only thing I can think of to describe them is—well, those sandstorms the Khamasin kicks up—the hot winds, you know."
"They probably were sand," his wife suggested, burning to tell another story of her own.
"They were probably sand," his wife suggested, eager to share another story of her own.
"Possibly, only there wasn't a breath of wind, and it was hot as blazes—and—I had such extraordinary sensations—never felt anything like it before—wild and exhilarated—drunk, I tell you, drunk."
"Maybe it was just that there wasn't a single breath of wind, and it was scorching hot—and—I had these incredible feelings—I've never felt anything like it before—wild and euphoric—intoxicated, I tell you, intoxicated."
"You saw them?" asked Henriot. "You made out their shape at all, or outline?"
"You saw them?" Henriot asked. "Could you see their shape or outline at all?"
"Sphinx," he replied at once, "for all the world like sphinxes. You know the kind of face and head these limestone strata in the Desert take—great visages with square Egyptian head-dresses where the driven sand has eaten away the softer stuff beneath? You see it everywhere—enormous idols they seem, with faces and eyes and lips awfully like the sphinx—well, that's the nearest I can get to it." He puffed his pipe hard. But there was no sign of levity in him. He told the actual truth as far as in him lay, yet half ashamed of what he told. And a good deal he left out, too.
"Sphinx," he replied immediately, "just like sphinxes. You know the kind of face and head these limestone layers in the desert have—massive faces with square Egyptian headdresses where the wind has worn away the softer material underneath? You see it everywhere—huge statues they look like, with faces, eyes, and lips frighteningly similar to the sphinx—well, that’s the closest I can describe it." He smoked his pipe vigorously. But there was no hint of humor in him. He spoke the actual truth as well as he could, yet felt somewhat embarrassed about it. And he left out quite a bit, too.
"She's got a face of the same sort, that Statham horror," his wife said with a shiver. "Reduce the size, and paint in awful black eyes, and you've got her exactly—a living idol." And all three laughed, yet a laughter without merriment in it.
"She's got the same kind of face, that Statham horror," his wife said with a shiver. "If you made it smaller and added these awful black eyes, you'd have her perfectly—a living idol." And all three laughed, but it was a laughter without any joy in it.
"And you spoke to the man?"
"And you talked to the guy?"
"I did," the Englishman answered, "though I confess I'm a bit ashamed of the way I spoke. Fact is, I was excited, thunderingly excited, and felt a kind of anger. I wanted to kick the beggar for practising such bally rubbish, and in such a place too. Yet all the time—well, well, I believe it was sheer funk now," he laughed; "for I felt uncommonly queer out there in the dusk, alone with—with that kind of business; and I was angry with myself for feeling it. Anyhow, I went up—I'd lost my donkey boy as well, remember—and slated him like a dog. I can't remember what I said exactly—only that he stood and stared at me in silence. That made it worse—seemed twice as real then. The beggar said no single word the whole time. He signed to me with one hand to clear out. And then, suddenly out of nothing—she—that woman—appeared and stood beside him. I never saw her come. She must have been behind some boulder or other, for she simply rose out of the ground. She stood there and stared at me too—bang in the face. She was turned towards the sunset—what was left of it in the west—and her black eyes shone like—ugh! I can't describe it—it was shocking."
"I did," the Englishman replied, "though I have to admit I'm a bit embarrassed about how I spoke. The truth is, I was really excited—like, incredibly excited—and I felt a sort of anger. I wanted to kick the beggar for putting on such ridiculous nonsense, especially in a place like this. Yet all the while—well, well, I think it was just sheer fear now," he laughed; "because I felt really uneasy out there in the dim light, alone with—with that kind of situation; and I was mad at myself for feeling that way. Anyway, I went up—I had lost my donkey boy too, remember—and yelled at him like a dog. I can't remember exactly what I said—just that he stood there and stared at me in silence. That made it feel even more real—twice as intense. The beggar didn't say a single word the entire time. He simply gestured with one hand for me to leave. And then, suddenly out of nowhere—she—that woman—appeared and stood next to him. I didn't see her come. She must have been behind some rock, because she just seemed to rise up out of the ground. She stood there and stared at me too—right in the face. She was facing the sunset—whatever was left of it in the west—and her black eyes sparkled like—ugh! I can't put it into words—it was disturbing."
"She spoke?"
"Did she speak?"
"She said five words—and her voice—it'll make you laugh—it was metallic like a gong: 'You are in danger here.' That's all she said. I simply turned and cleared out as fast as ever I could. But I had to go on foot. My donkey had followed its boy long before. I tell you—smile as you may—my blood was all curdled for an hour afterwards."
"She said five words—and her voice—it'll make you laugh—it was sharp like a gong: 'You are in danger here.' That's all she said. I just turned and took off as fast as I could. But I had to walk. My donkey had gone with its boy long before. I tell you—smile all you want—my blood was running cold for an hour afterward."
Then he explained that he felt some kind of explanation or apology was due, since the couple lodged in his own hotel, and how he approached the man in the smoking-room after dinner. A conversation resulted—the man was quite intelligent after all—of which only one sentence had remained in his mind.
Then he explained that he felt some kind of explanation or apology was necessary since the couple was staying in his hotel, and how he approached the man in the smoking room after dinner. A conversation followed—the man was pretty smart after all—of which only one sentence stuck in his mind.
"Perhaps you can explain it, Felix. I wrote it down, as well as I could remember. The rest confused me beyond words or memory; though I must confess it did not seem—well, not utter rot exactly. It was about astrology and rituals and the worship of the old Egyptians, and I don't know what else besides. Only, he made it intelligible and almost sensible, if only I could have got the hang of the thing enough to remember it. You know," he added, as though believing in spite of himself, "there is a lot of that wonderful old Egyptian religious business still hanging about in the atmosphere of this place, say what you like."
"Maybe you can break it down for me, Felix. I wrote down what I could remember. The rest was so confusing that I can't put it into words or recall it; although, I have to admit it didn't seem—well, not completely nonsense, to be honest. It was about astrology, rituals, and the worship of the ancient Egyptians, along with some other stuff I can't recall. Still, he made it understandable and almost made sense, if only I could have grasped it enough to remember. You know," he added, as if convincing himself, "there is a lot of that amazing old Egyptian religious vibe still lingering in the air around here, no matter what you say."
"But this sentence?" Henriot asked. And the other went off to get a note-book where he had written it down.
"But what about this sentence?" Henriot asked. The other person went to grab a notebook where he had written it down.
"He was jawing, you see," he continued when he came back, Henriot and his wife having kept silence meanwhile, "about direction being of importance in religious ceremonies, West and North symbolising certain powers, or something of the kind, why people turn to the East and all that sort of thing, and speaking of the whole Universe as if it had living forces tucked away in it that expressed themselves somehow when roused up. That's how I remember it anyhow. And then he said this thing—in answer to some fool question probably that I put." And he read out of the note-book:
"He was going on and on, you know," he continued when he returned, while Henriot and his wife stayed quiet, "about how direction matters in religious ceremonies, with the West and North representing certain powers or something like that, talking about why people face East and all that stuff, and referring to the entire Universe as if it had living forces hidden within it that somehow came alive when stirred up. That's how I recall it, anyway. Then he said this—in response to some silly question I probably asked." And he read from the notebook:
"'You were in danger because you came through the Gateway of the West, and the Powers from the Gateway of the East were at that moment rising, and therefore in direct opposition to you.'"
"'You were in danger because you came through the Gateway of the West, and the Powers from the Gateway of the East were just then emerging, putting them directly against you.'"
Then came the following, apparently a simile offered by way of explanation. Mansfield read it in a shamefaced tone, evidently prepared for laughter:
Then came the following, seemingly a comparison meant to explain. Mansfield read it in an embarrassed tone, clearly bracing for laughter:
"'Whether I strike you on the back or in the face determines what kind of answering force I rouse in you. Direction is significant.' And he said it was the period called the Night of Power—time when the Desert encroaches and spirits are close."
"'Whether I hit you on the back or in the face determines what kind of response I get from you. Direction matters.' And he said it was the time known as the Night of Power—the moment when the Desert advances and spirits are near."
And tossing the book aside, he lit his pipe again and waited a moment to hear what might be said. "Can you explain such gibberish?" he asked at length, as neither of his listeners spoke. But Henriot said he couldn't. And the wife then took up her own tale of stories that had grown about this singular couple.
And throwing the book aside, he lit his pipe again and paused for a moment to listen to what might be said. "Can you make sense of this nonsense?" he finally asked, as neither of his listeners responded. But Henriot said he couldn't. Then the wife began sharing her own stories that had developed around this unique couple.
These were less detailed, and therefore less impressive, but all contributed something towards the atmosphere of reality that framed the entire picture. They belonged to the type one hears at every dinner party in Egypt—stories of the vengeance mummies seem to take on those who robbed them, desecrating their peace of centuries; of a woman wearing a necklace of scarabs taken from a princess's tomb, who felt hands about her throat to strangle her; of little Ka figures, Pasht goddesses, amulets and the rest, that brought curious disaster to those who kept them. They are many and various, astonishingly circumstantial often, and vouched for by persons the reverse of credulous. The modern superstition that haunts the desert gullies with Afreets has nothing in common with them. They rest upon a basis of indubitable experience; and they remain—inexplicable. And about the personalities of Lady Statham and her nephew they crowded like flies attracted by a dish of fruit. The Arabs, too, were afraid of her. She had difficulty in getting guides and dragomen.
These were less detailed and therefore less impressive, but they all added to the atmosphere of reality that surrounded the whole scene. They were the kind of stories you hear at every dinner party in Egypt—tales about the revenge mummies take on those who disturb their rest after centuries; about a woman wearing a necklace of scarabs taken from a princess's tomb, who felt hands around her throat trying to strangle her; about little Ka figures, Pasht goddesses, amulets, and others that brought strange misfortune to their owners. There are many of these stories, and they often have astonishing details, confirmed by people who are anything but gullible. The modern superstition about Afreets haunting the desert gullies has nothing to do with these tales. They are based on undeniable experiences and remain—mysterious. And the personalities of Lady Statham and her nephew were surrounded by these stories like flies drawn to a fruit dish. The Arabs were also afraid of her. She had trouble finding guides and dragomen.
"My dear chap," concluded Mansfield, "take my advice and have nothing to do with 'em. There is a lot of queer business knocking about in this old country, and people like that know ways of reviving it somehow. It's upset you already; you looked scared, I thought, the moment you came in." They laughed, but the Englishman was in earnest. "I tell you what," he added, "we'll go off for a bit of shooting together. The fields along the Delta are packed with birds now: they're home early this year on their way to the North. What d'ye say, eh?"
"My dear buddy," Mansfield wrapped up, "take my advice and stay away from them. There’s a lot of weird stuff going on in this country, and people like that have a way of bringing it back somehow. It’s already gotten to you; you looked uneasy when you walked in." They laughed, but the Englishman was serious. "I’ve got an idea," he continued, "let’s go shoot some birds together. The fields along the Delta are full of them now: they’re arriving early this year on their way north. What do you say, huh?"
But Henriot did not care about the quail shooting. He felt more inclined to be alone and think things out by himself. He had come to his friends for comfort, and instead they had made him uneasy and excited. His interest had suddenly doubled. Though half afraid, he longed to know what these two were up to—to follow the adventure to the bitter end. He disregarded the warning of his host as well as the premonition in his own heart. The sand had caught his feet.
But Henriot didn't care about the quail hunting. He preferred to be alone and sort through his thoughts by himself. He had come to his friends for comfort, but instead, they had made him feel anxious and excited. His interest had suddenly intensified. Even though he felt a bit scared, he was eager to find out what those two were up to—to follow the adventure to the very end. He ignored his host’s warning as well as the uneasy feeling in his own heart. The sand had grabbed hold of his feet.
There were moments when he laughed in utter disbelief, but these were optimistic moods that did not last. He always returned to the feeling that truth lurked somewhere in the whole strange business, and that if he joined forces with them, as they seemed to wish, he would witness—well, he hardly knew what—but it enticed him as danger does the reckless man, or death the suicide. The sand had caught his mind.
There were times when he laughed in complete disbelief, but those optimistic feelings didn’t stick around. He always went back to the sense that the truth was hiding somewhere in all this weirdness, and that if he teamed up with them, as they seemed to want, he would see—well, he wasn’t really sure what—but it drew him in like danger attracts the reckless or death attracts the suicidal. The sand had ensnared his thoughts.
He decided to offer himself to all they wanted—his pencil too. He would see—a shiver ran through him at the thought—what they saw, and know some eddy of that vanished tide of power and splendour the ancient Egyptian priesthood knew, and that perhaps was even common experience in the far-off days of dim Atlantis. The sand had caught his imagination too. He was utterly sand-haunted.
He decided to give himself to everything they desired—his pencil too. He would discover—a shiver ran through him at the thought—what they perceived, and feel some trace of that lost wave of power and glory that the ancient Egyptian priests experienced, and that maybe was even a shared experience in the distant days of ancient Atlantis. The sand had captured his imagination as well. He was completely haunted by the sand.
VII
And so he took pains, though without making definite suggestion, to place himself in the way of this woman and her nephew—only to find that his hints were disregarded. They left him alone, if they did not actually avoid him. Moreover, he rarely came across them now. Only at night, or in the queer dusk hours, he caught glimpses of them moving hurriedly off from the hotel, and always desertwards. And their disregard, well calculated, enflamed his desire to the point when he almost decided to propose himself. Quite suddenly, then, the idea flashed through him—how do they come, these odd revelations, when the mind lies receptive like a plate sensitised by anticipation?—that they were waiting for a certain date, and, with the notion, came Mansfield's remark about "the Night of Power," believed in by the old Egyptian Calendar as a time when the supersensuous world moves close against the minds of men with all its troop of possibilities. And the thought, once lodged in its corner of imagination, grew strong. He looked it up. Ten days from now, he found, Leyel-el-Sud would be upon him, with a moon, too, at the full. And this strange hint of guidance he accepted. In his present mood, as he admitted, smiling to himself, he could accept anything. It was part of it, it belonged to the adventure. But, even while he persuaded himself that it was play, the solemn reality, of what lay ahead increased amazingly, sketched darkly in his very soul.
And so he put in the effort, though without making any clear suggestions, to be around this woman and her nephew—only to realize that they ignored his hints. They left him alone, if not actively avoiding him. Moreover, he rarely saw them anymore. Only at night, or during those strange twilight hours, did he catch glimpses of them hurrying away from the hotel, always heading toward the desert. Their deliberate disregard fueled his desire to the point where he almost decided to propose to her. Then, suddenly, the idea struck him—how do these strange insights come about when the mind is open like a plate ready to receive?—that they were waiting for a specific date, and with that thought came Mansfield's comment about "the Night of Power," believed in by the ancient Egyptian Calendar as a time when the unseen world comes close to people's minds with all its possibilities. And once that thought took root in his imagination, it grew stronger. He looked it up. In ten days, he discovered, Leyel-el-Sud would arrive, with a full moon, too. He accepted this peculiar hint as a sign. In his current mood, as he admitted with a smile, he could accept anything. It was all part of the experience. But even while he convinced himself it was just a game, the serious reality of what lay ahead deepened significantly, darkly sketched in his very soul.
These intervening days he spent as best he could—impatiently, a prey to quite opposite emotions. In the blazing sunshine he thought of it and laughed; but at night he lay often sleepless, calculating chances of escape. He never did escape, however. The Desert that watched little Helouan with great, unwinking eyes watched also every turn and twist he made. Like this oasis, he basked in the sun of older time, and dreamed beneath forgotten moons. The sand at last had crept into his inmost heart. It sifted over him.
These intervening days, he spent as best he could—impatiently, caught in completely opposite feelings. In the blazing sunshine, he thought about it and laughed; but at night, he often lay awake, calculating his chances of escape. He never did escape, though. The Desert that kept a close watch on little Helouan with its unblinking eyes also monitored every move he made. Like this oasis, he soaked up the warmth of the past and dreamed under forgotten moons. Eventually, the sand had crept into his deepest heart. It sifted over him.
Seeking a reaction from normal, everyday things, he made tourist trips; yet, while recognising the comedy in his attitude, he never could lose sight of the grandeur that banked it up so hauntingly. These two contrary emotions grafted themselves on all he did and saw. He crossed the Nile at Bedrashein, and went again to the Tomb-World of Sakkara; but through all the chatter of veiled and helmeted tourists, the bandar-log of our modern Jungle, ran this dark under-stream of awe their monkey methods could not turn aside. One world lay upon another, but this modern layer was a shallow crust that, like the phenomenon of the "desert-film," a mere angle of falling light could instantly obliterate. Beneath the sand, deep down, he passed along the Street of Tombs, as he had often passed before, moved then merely by historical curiosity and admiration, but now by emotions for which he found no name. He saw the enormous sarcophagi of granite in their gloomy chambers where the sacred bulls once lay, swathed and embalmed like human beings, and, in the flickering candle light, the mood of ancient rites surged round him, menacing his doubts and laughter. The least human whisper in these subterraneans, dug out first four thousand years ago, revived ominous Powers that stalked beside him, forbidding and premonitive. He gazed at the spots where Mariette, unearthing them forty years ago, found fresh as of yesterday the marks of fingers and naked feet—of those who set the sixty-five ton slabs in position. And when he came up again into the sunshine he met the eternal questions of the pyramids, overtopping all his mental horizons. Sand blocked all the avenues of younger emotion, leaving the channels of something in him incalculably older, open and clean swept.
Seeking a reaction from ordinary, everyday things, he made tourist trips; yet, while acknowledging the humor in his attitude, he could never lose sight of the grandeur that hauntingly underpinned it. These two conflicting emotions intertwined with everything he did and saw. He crossed the Nile at Bedrashein and revisited the Tomb-World of Sakkara; but through all the chatter of veiled and helmeted tourists, the bandar-log of our modern jungle, ran this dark undercurrent of awe that their monkey-like behaviors couldn't dismiss. One world overlay another, but this modern layer was a thin shell that, like the phenomenon of the "desert-film," a mere angle of falling light could instantly erase. Beneath the sand, deep down, he walked along the Street of Tombs, as he had many times before, initially driven by historical curiosity and admiration, but now by emotions he couldn't name. He saw the enormous granite sarcophagi in their gloomy chambers where the sacred bulls once rested, wrapped and embalmed like humans, and in the flickering candlelight, the mood of ancient rituals surrounded him, challenging his doubts and laughter. The slightest human whisper in these subterranean chambers, excavated four thousand years ago, revived ominous Powers that walked alongside him, forbidding and foreboding. He looked at the spots where Mariette, uncovering them forty years ago, found fresh as if from yesterday the marks of fingers and bare feet—of those who positioned the sixty-five-ton slabs. And when he emerged again into the sunlight, he confronted the eternal questions of the pyramids, overshadowing all his mental horizons. Sand closed off all the paths of younger emotions, leaving the channels of something infinitely older within him open and clear.
He slipped homewards, uncomfortable and followed, glad to be with a crowd—because he was otherwise alone with more than he could dare to think about. Keeping just ahead of his companions, he crossed the desert edge where the ghost of Memphis walks under rustling palm trees that screen no stone left upon another of all its mile-long populous splendours. For here was a vista his imagination could realise; here he could know the comfort of solid ground his feet could touch. Gigantic Ramases, lying on his back beneath their shade and staring at the sky, similarly helped to steady his swaying thoughts. Imagination could deal with these.
He made his way home, feeling uneasy and shadowed, relieved to be in a crowd—because otherwise he was alone with more than he could handle. Staying just ahead of his friends, he crossed the edge of the desert where the ghost of Memphis wanders beneath rustling palm trees that hide the remnants of its once-great city. Here was a view he could envision; here he could feel the reassuring solid ground beneath his feet. The colossal Ramases, lying on his back in the shade and gazing at the sky, helped calm his racing thoughts. His imagination could manage these moments.
And daily thus he watched the busy world go to and fro to its scale of tips and bargaining, and gladly mingled with it, trying to laugh and study guidebooks, and listen to half-fledged explanations, but always seeing the comedy of his poor attempts. Not all those little donkeys, bells tinkling, beads shining, trotting beneath their comical burdens to the tune of shouting and belabouring, could stem this tide of deeper things the woman had let loose in the subconscious part of him. Everywhere he saw the mysterious camels go slouching through the sand, gurgling the water in their skinny, extended throats. Centuries passed between the enormous knee-stroke of their stride. And, every night, the sunsets restored the forbidding, graver mood, with their crimson, golden splendour, their strange green shafts of light, then—sudden twilight that brought the Past upon him with an awful leap. Upon the stage then stepped the figures of this pair of human beings, chanting their ancient plainsong of incantation in the moonlit desert, and working their rites of unholy evocation as the priests had worked them centuries before in the sands that now buried Sakkara fathoms deep.
And every day, he watched the busy world move back and forth, negotiating prices and haggling. He happily got involved, trying to laugh, read guidebooks, and listen to half-hearted explanations, but he always saw the humor in his clumsy attempts. Not even the little donkeys, with their jingling bells and shining beads, trotting under their funny loads to the sounds of shouting and beating, could wash away the deeper feelings the woman had stirred in him. Everywhere he saw the mysterious camels trudging through the sand, gurgling water in their thin, long throats. Centuries seemed to pass with each massive step they took. Every night, the sunsets brought back the heavy, serious mood, with their red and gold glory, their unusual green rays of light, followed by an abrupt twilight that threw the Past at him with a jarring intensity. Then, figures of a couple would appear on the stage, singing their ancient chant in the moonlit desert, performing their dark rituals just as priests had done centuries ago in the sands that now hid Sakkara deep below.
Then one morning he woke with a question in his mind, as though it had been asked of him in sleep and he had waked just before the answer came. "Why do I spend my time sight-seeing, instead of going alone into the Desert as before? What has made me change?"
Then one morning he woke up with a question in his mind, as if it had been asked of him in his sleep and he had woken just before the answer arrived. "Why do I spend my time sightseeing instead of going alone into the Desert like I used to? What has made me change?"
This latest mood now asked for explanation. And the answer, coming up automatically, startled him. It was so clear and sure—had been lying in the background all along. One word contained it:
This latest mood now demanded an explanation. And the answer, coming up automatically, shocked him. It was so clear and certain—it had been lurking in the background all along. One word summed it up:
Vance.
Vance.
The sinister intentions of this man, forgotten in the rush of other emotions, asserted themselves again convincingly. The human horror, so easily comprehensible, had been smothered for the time by the hint of unearthly revelations. But it had operated all the time. Now it took the lead. He dreaded to be alone in the Desert with this dark picture in his mind of what Vance meant to bring there to completion. This abomination of a selfish human will returned to fix its terror in him. To be alone in the Desert meant to be alone with the imaginative picture of what Vance—he knew it with such strange certainty—hoped to bring about there.
The sinister intentions of this man, overlooked amid a wave of other emotions, reasserted themselves strongly. The human horror, so easily understood, had been temporarily suppressed by the suggestion of otherworldly revelations. But it had been present all along. Now it came to the forefront. He feared being alone in the Desert with this dark image in his mind of what Vance intended to accomplish there. This monstrous selfish desire returned to implant its terror within him. Being alone in the Desert meant being alone with the vivid image of what Vance—he felt it with such strange certainty—aspired to achieve there.
There was absolutely no evidence to justify the grim suspicion. It seemed indeed far-fetched enough, this connection between the sand and the purpose of an evil-minded, violent man. But Henriot saw it true. He could argue it away in a few minutes—easily. Yet the instant thought ceased, it returned, led up by intuition. It possessed him, filled his mind with horrible possibilities. He feared the Desert as he might have feared the scene of some atrocious crime. And, for the time, this dread of a merely human thing corrected the big seduction of the other—the suggested "super-natural."
There was absolutely no evidence to support the dark suspicion. The idea that there was a connection between the sand and the agenda of a malicious, violent man seemed pretty far-fetched. But Henriot believed it completely. He could easily talk himself out of it in just a few minutes. Yet as soon as he stopped thinking about it, the idea came back to him, driven by intuition. It consumed him, filling his mind with terrible possibilities. He feared the Desert as one might fear a place where a horrific crime had happened. For now, this fear of something purely human countered the overwhelming allure of the other—the suggested "supernatural."
Side by side with it, his desire to join himself to the purposes of the woman increased steadily. They kept out of his way apparently; the offer seemed withdrawn; he grew restless, unable to settle to anything for long, and once he asked the porter casually if they were leaving the hotel. Lady Statham had been invisible for days, and Vance was somehow never within speaking distance. He heard with relief that they had not gone—but with dread as well. Keen excitement worked in him underground. He slept badly. Like a schoolboy, he waited for the summons to an important examination that involved portentous issues, and contradictory emotions disturbed his peace of mind abominably.
Next to that, his desire to connect with the woman's intentions grew stronger. They seemed to avoid him; the invitation felt like it had been taken back. He became restless, unable to focus on anything for long, and once casually asked the porter if they were leaving the hotel. Lady Statham had been out of sight for days, and Vance always seemed just out of reach. He felt a mix of relief and dread when he found out they hadn’t left. There was a deep excitement stirring within him. He slept poorly. Like a schoolboy anxious about a big exam that carried significant weight, conflicting emotions disrupted his peace of mind terribly.
VIII
But it was not until the end of the week, when Vance approached him with purpose in his eyes and manner, that Henriot knew his fears unfounded, and caught himself trembling with sudden anticipation—because the invitation, so desired yet so dreaded, was actually at hand. Firmly determined to keep caution uppermost, yet he went unresistingly to a secluded corner by the palms where they could talk in privacy. For prudence is of the mind, but desire is of the soul, and while his brain of to-day whispered wariness, voices in his heart of long ago shouted commands that he knew he must obey with joy.
But it wasn't until the end of the week that Vance approached him with a determined look that Henriot realized his fears were unfounded. He found himself shaking with sudden excitement—because the invitation he had both wanted and dreaded was finally here. While he was firmly resolved to stay cautious, he let himself be led to a quiet spot by the palms where they could have a private conversation. After all, caution is a mental thing, but desire comes from the soul, and even though his current mind cautioned him to be careful, the long-ago voices in his heart urged him to follow their commands with joy.
It was evening and the stars were out. Helouan, with her fairy twinkling lights, lay silent against the Desert edge. The sand was at the flood. The period of the Encroaching of the Desert was at hand, and the deeps were all astir with movement. But in the windless air was a great peace. A calm of infinite stillness breathed everywhere. The flow of Time, before it rushed away backwards, stopped somewhere between the dust of stars and Desert. The mystery of sand touched every street with its unutterable softness.
It was evening, and the stars were shining. Helouan, with her fairy lights sparkling, lay quietly at the edge of the desert. The sand was at flood level. The time of the Desert's Encroachment was approaching, and the depths were alive with movement. Yet in the windless air, there was a profound peace. A calm, infinite stillness enveloped everything. The flow of time, before it rushed backward, paused somewhere between the stardust and the desert. The mystery of the sand softly touched every street with its indescribable gentleness.
And Vance began without the smallest circumlocution. His voice was low, in keeping with the scene, but the words dropped with a sharp distinctness into the other's heart like grains of sand that pricked the skin before they smothered him. Caution they smothered instantly; resistance too.
And Vance started without any hesitation. His voice was quiet, fitting the moment, but his words landed sharply and clearly in the other person’s heart, like grains of sand that stung the skin before burying him. They immediately smothered any caution; they crushed resistance as well.
"I have a message for you from my aunt," he said, as though he brought an invitation to a picnic. Henriot sat in shadow, but his companion's face was in a patch of light that followed them from the windows of the central hall. There was a shining in the light blue eyes that betrayed the excitement his quiet manner concealed. "We are going—the day after to-morrow—to spend the night in the Desert; she wondered if, perhaps, you would care to join us?"
"I have a message for you from my aunt," he said, as if he were bringing an invitation to a picnic. Henriot sat in the shadows, but his companion's face was in a patch of light coming from the windows of the central hall. There was a spark in his light blue eyes that gave away the excitement his calm demeanor hid. "We're going—day after tomorrow—to spend the night in the Desert; she wanted to know if you might want to join us?"
"For your experiment?" asked Henriot bluntly.
"For your experiment?" Henriot asked straightforwardly.
Vance smiled with his lips, holding his eyes steady, though unable to suppress the gleam that flashed in them and was gone so swiftly. There was a hint of shrugging his shoulders.
Vance smiled with his lips, keeping his eyes steady, though he couldn't hide the brief sparkle that flashed in them and disappeared quickly. There was a slight shrug of his shoulders.
"It is the Night of Power—in the old Egyptian Calendar, you know," he answered with assumed lightness almost, "the final moment of Leyel-el-Sud, the period of Black Nights when the Desert was held to encroach with—with various possibilities of a supernatural order. She wishes to revive a certain practice of the old Egyptians. There may be curious results. At any rate, the occasion is a picturesque one—better than this cheap imitation of London life." And he indicated the lights, the signs of people in the hall dressed for gaieties and dances, the hotel orchestra that played after dinner.
"It’s the Night of Power—in the old Egyptian Calendar, you know,” he replied with a feigned lightness, “the last moment of Leyel-el-Sud, the time of Black Nights when the Desert was thought to bring forth various possibilities of a supernatural kind. She wants to bring back a certain custom of the ancient Egyptians. There might be some interesting outcomes. At any rate, the event itself is quite picturesque—much better than this cheap imitation of London life.” He gestured toward the lights, the sight of people in the hall dressed for celebrations and dances, and the hotel orchestra that played after dinner.
Henriot at the moment answered nothing, so great was the rush of conflicting emotions that came he knew not whence. Vance went calmly on. He spoke with a simple frankness that was meant to be disarming. Henriot never took his eyes off him. The two men stared steadily at one another.
Henriot didn’t respond at all, overwhelmed by a wave of mixed emotions he couldn’t identify. Vance continued speaking, maintaining a calm demeanor. His straightforward honesty was intended to put Henriot at ease. Henriot couldn’t take his eyes off him. The two men locked gazes, unflinching.
"She wants to know if you will come and help too—in a certain way only: not in the experiment itself precisely, but by watching merely and—" He hesitated an instant, half lowering his eyes.
"She wants to know if you'll come and help too—in a specific way: not actually in the experiment itself, but just by watching and—" He paused for a moment, lowering his eyes slightly.
"Drawing the picture," Henriot helped him deliberately.
"Drawing the picture," Henriot intentionally assisted him.
"Drawing what you see, yes," Vance replied, the voice turned graver in spite of himself. "She wants—she hopes to catch the outlines of anything that happens—"
"Yeah, drawing what you see," Vance replied, his voice getting more serious despite himself. "She wants—she hopes to capture the outlines of anything that happens—"
"Comes."
"Arrives."
"Exactly. Determine the shape of anything that comes. You may remember your conversation of the other night with her. She is very certain of success."
"Exactly. Figure out the form of anything that comes your way. You might recall your chat the other night with her. She's really confident about her success."
This was direct enough at any rate. It was as formal as an invitation to a dinner, and as guileless. The thing he thought he wanted lay within his reach. He had merely to say yes. He did say yes; but first he looked about him instinctively, as for guidance. He looked at the stars twinkling high above the distant Libyan Plateau; at the long arms of the Desert, gleaming weirdly white in the moonlight, and reaching towards him down every opening between the houses; at the heavy mass of the Mokattam Hills, guarding the Arabian Wilderness with strange, peaked barriers, their sand-carved ridges dark and still above the Wadi Hof.
This was straightforward enough, anyway. It was as formal as a dinner invitation and just as sincere. What he thought he wanted was within his grasp. He just had to say yes. He did say yes; but first, he instinctively glanced around for guidance. He looked at the stars twinkling high above the distant Libyan Plateau; at the long stretch of the Desert, shining eerily white in the moonlight, reaching towards him through every opening between the houses; at the heavy mass of the Mokattam Hills, guarding the Arabian Wilderness with strange, pointed barriers, their sand-carved ridges dark and still above the Wadi Hof.
These questionings attracted no response. The Desert watched him, but it did not answer. There was only the shrill whistling cry of the lizards, and the sing-song of a white-robed Arab gliding down the sandy street. And through these sounds he heard his own voice answer: "I will come—yes. But how can I help? Tell me what you propose—your plan?"
These questions got no reply. The Desert observed him, but it remained silent. All he could hear was the high-pitched whistle of the lizards and the melodic chanting of a white-clad Arab moving along the sandy street. Amidst these sounds, he heard his own voice respond: "I'll come—sure. But how can I assist? Let me know what you have in mind—your plan?"
And the face of Vance, seen plainly in the electric glare, betrayed his satisfaction. The opposing things in the fellow's mind of darkness fought visibly in his eyes and skin. The sordid motive, planning a dreadful act, leaped to his face, and with it a flash of this other yearning that sought unearthly knowledge, perhaps believed it too. No wonder there was conflict written on his features.
And Vance's face, clearly lit by the bright lights, showed his satisfaction. The conflicting emotions in his mind fought for attention in his eyes and on his skin. The dirty motive, planning a terrible act, flashed across his face, along with a glimpse of another desire that craved otherworldly knowledge, maybe even believed in it too. It’s no surprise there was a struggle reflected in his features.
Then all expression vanished again; he leaned forward, lowering his voice.
Then all expression disappeared again; he leaned in, lowering his voice.
"You remember our conversation about there being types of life too vast to manifest in a single body, and my aunt's belief that these were known to certain of the older religious systems of the world?"
"You remember our chat about the kinds of life that are too expansive to be contained in just one body, and my aunt's idea that some of the older religions in the world were aware of this?"
"Perfectly."
"Perfect!"
"Her experiment, then, is to bring one of these great Powers back—we possess the sympathetic ritual that can rouse some among them to activity—and win it down into the sphere of our minds, our minds heightened, you see, by ceremonial to that stage of clairvoyant vision which can perceive them."
"Her experiment is to bring one of these great Powers back—we have the sympathetic ritual that can stir some of them into action—and draw it into our minds, our minds elevated, you see, by ceremony to that level of clairvoyant vision that can recognize them."
"And then?" They might have been discussing the building of a house, so naturally followed answer upon question. But the whole body of meaning in the old Egyptian symbolism rushed over him with a force that shook his heart. Memory came so marvellously with it.
"And then?" They could have been talking about constructing a house, so one question led to another. But the deep significance of the ancient Egyptian symbols hit him hard, causing his heart to race. Memories flooded back with incredible clarity.
"If the Power floods down into our minds with sufficient strength for actual form, to note the outline of such form, and from your drawing model it later in permanent substance. Then we should have means of evoking it at will, for we should have its natural Body—the form it built itself, its signature, image, pattern. A starting-point, you see, for more—leading, she hopes, to a complete reconstruction."
"If the Power flows into our minds with enough strength to take on a real form, we can recognize the outline of that form and later recreate it in a lasting material. Then we would have a way to bring it forth whenever we want because we would have its natural Body—the form it created, its signature, image, pattern. This would be a starting point for more—hopefully leading to a complete reconstruction."
"It might take actual shape—assume a bodily form visible to the eye?" repeated Henriot, amazed as before that doubt and laughter did not break through his mind.
"It might actually take shape—become a physical form visible to the eye?" Henriot repeated, still amazed that doubt and laughter didn’t disrupt his thoughts.
"We are on the earth," was the reply, spoken unnecessarily low since no living thing was within earshot, "we are in physical conditions, are we not? Even a human soul we do not recognise unless we see it in a body—parents provide the outline, the signature, the sigil of the returning soul. This," and he tapped himself upon the breast, "is the physical signature of that type of life we call a soul. Unless there is life of a certain strength behind it, no body forms. And, without a body, we are helpless to control or manage it—deal with it in any way. We could not know it, though being possibly aware of it."
"We are on the earth," was the reply, said unnecessarily quietly since there was no one around to hear, "we are in a physical state, right? We can't even recognize a human soul unless we see it in a body—parents provide the outline, the sign, the symbol of the returning soul. This," and he tapped his chest, "is the physical sign of that type of life we call a soul. Unless there's a certain strength of life behind it, no body forms. And without a body, we can’t control or manage it—engage with it in any way. We might be aware of it, but we wouldn’t truly know it."
"To be aware, you mean, is not sufficient?" For he noticed the italics Vance made use of.
"Being aware, you mean, isn't enough?" He noticed the italics Vance used.
"Too vague, of no value for future use," was the reply. "But once obtain the form, and we have the natural symbol of that particular Power. And a symbol is more than image, it is a direct and concentrated expression of the life it typifies—possibly terrific."
"Too vague, not useful for future reference," was the response. "But once we get the form, we have the natural symbol of that specific Power. And a symbol is more than just an image; it's a direct and focused expression of the life it represents—potentially awesome."
"It may be a body, then, this symbol you speak of."
"It might be a body, then, this symbol you’re talking about."
"Accurate vehicle of manifestation; but 'body' seems the simplest word."
"An accurate vehicle of expression; but 'body' appears to be the easiest word."
Vance answered very slowly and deliberately, as though weighing how much he would tell. His language was admirably evasive. Few perhaps would have detected the profound significance the curious words he next used unquestionably concealed. Henriot's mind rejected them, but his heart accepted. For the ancient soul in him was listening and aware.
Vance replied slowly and carefully, as if considering how much to share. His words were impressively vague. Few might have noticed the deep meaning hidden in the peculiar words he chose next. Henriot's mind pushed them away, but his heart embraced them. The ancient part of him was listening and aware.
"Life, using matter to express itself in bodily shape, first traces a geometrical pattern. From the lowest form in crystals, upwards to more complicated patterns in the higher organisations—there is always first this geometrical pattern as skeleton. For geometry lies at the root of all possible phenomena; and is the mind's interpretation of a living movement towards shape that shall express it." He brought his eyes closer to the other, lowering his voice again. "Hence," he said softly, "the signs in all the old magical systems—skeleton forms into which the Powers evoked descended; outlines those Powers automatically built up when using matter to express themselves. Such signs are material symbols of their bodiless existence. They attract the life they represent and interpret. Obtain the correct, true symbol, and the Power corresponding to it can approach—once roused and made aware. It has, you see, a ready-made mould into which it can come down."
"Life uses matter to express itself in physical form, starting with a geometric pattern. From simple crystal structures to more complex patterns in higher organisms, there’s always this geometric pattern as the foundation. Geometry is essential to all possible phenomena; it’s the mind's way of interpreting a living movement towards a shape that embodies it." He leaned in closer to the other person, lowering his voice again. "So," he said softly, "the signs in all the ancient magical systems—skeleton forms that the Powers invoked descended into; outlines that those Powers automatically created when using matter to express themselves. These signs are material symbols of their formless existence. They draw in the life they signify and interpret. Get the correct, true symbol, and the corresponding Power can come near—once it’s awakened and made aware. It has, you see, a ready-made mold it can fit into."
"Once roused and made aware?" repeated Henriot questioningly, while this man went stammering the letters of a language that he himself had used too long ago to recapture fully.
"Once awake and aware?" Henriot asked, his tone questioning, as this man struggled to pronounce the letters of a language he had used so long ago that he couldn’t fully remember it.
"Because they have left the world. They sleep, unmanifested. Their forms are no longer known to men. No forms exist on earth to-day that could contain them. But they may be awakened," he added darkly. "They are bound to answer to the summons, if such summons be accurately made."
"Because they’ve left the world. They’re sleeping, unseen. Their shapes are no longer known to people. There are no forms on earth today that could hold them. But they can be awakened," he added ominously. "They’re bound to respond to the call, if that call is made correctly."
"Evocation?" whispered Henriot, more distressed than he cared to admit.
"Evocation?" whispered Henriot, more upset than he wanted to admit.
Vance nodded. Leaning still closer, to his companion's face, he thrust his lips forward, speaking eagerly, earnestly, yet somehow at the same time, horribly: "And we want—my aunt would ask—your draughtsman's skill, or at any rate your memory afterwards, to establish the outline of anything that comes."
Vance nodded. Leaning even closer to his companion's face, he pushed his lips forward, speaking eagerly and earnestly, yet somehow at the same time, in a disturbing way: "And we want—my aunt would ask—for your drafting skills, or at least your memory later on, to set out the outline of whatever comes next."
He waited for the answer, still keeping his face uncomfortably close.
He waited for the answer, still keeping his face uncomfortably close.
Henriot drew back a little. But his mind was fully made up now. He had known from the beginning that he would consent, for the desire in him was stronger than all the caution in the world. The Past inexorably drew him into the circle of these other lives, and the little human dread Vance woke in him seemed just then insignificant by comparison. It was merely of To-day.
Henriot pulled back slightly. But his mind was set now. He had known from the start that he would agree, because the desire inside him was stronger than all the caution in the world. The Past relentlessly pulled him into the lives of others, and the small human fear Vance stirred in him felt insignificant in comparison. It was just about Today.
"You two," he said, trying to bring judgment into it, "engaged in evocation, will be in a state of clairvoyant vision. Granted. But shall I, as an outsider, observing with unexcited mind, see anything, know anything, be aware of anything at all, let alone the drawing of it?"
"You two," he said, trying to sound authoritative, "who are engaged in evocation, will be in a state of clairvoyant vision. That's true. But will I, as an outsider, watching with a calm mind, see anything, know anything, or be aware of anything at all, much less the drawing of it?"
"Unless," the reply came instantly with decision, "the descent of Power is strong enough to take actual material shape, the experiment is a failure. Anybody can induce subjective vision. Such fantasies have no value though. They are born of an overwrought imagination." And then he added quickly, as though to clinch the matter before caution and hesitation could take effect: "You must watch from the heights above. We shall be in the valley—the Wadi Hof is the place. You must not be too close—"
"Unless," the response came right away with certainty, "the descent of Power is strong enough to take real form, the experiment fails. Anyone can create a subjective vision. Those fantasies don't hold any value. They're the product of an overactive imagination." And then he added quickly, as if to wrap things up before caution and hesitation set in: "You must watch from the heights above. We'll be in the valley—the Wadi Hof is the spot. You can't get too close—"
"Why not too close?" asked Henriot, springing forward like a flash before he could prevent the sudden impulse.
"Why not too close?" asked Henriot, jumping forward like a flash before he could stop himself.
With a quickness equal to his own, Vance answered. There was no faintest sign that he was surprised. His self-control was perfect. Only the glare passed darkly through his eyes and went back again into the sombre soul that bore it.
With a speed equal to his own, Vance replied. There wasn't the slightest hint that he
"For your own safety," he answered low. "The Power, the type of life, she would waken is stupendous. And if roused enough to be attracted by the patterned symbol into which she would decoy it down, it will take actual, physical expression. But how? Where is the Body of Worshippers through whom it can manifest? There is none. It will, therefore, press inanimate matter into the service. The terrific impulse to form itself a means of expression will force all loose matter at hand towards it—sand, stones, all it can compel to yield—everything must rush into the sphere of action in which it operates. Alone, we at the centre, and you, upon the outer fringe, will be safe. Only—you must not come too close."
"For your own safety," he said softly. "The energy and the kind of life she would awaken are incredible. And if she gets drawn in enough by the patterned symbol she uses to lure it down, it will take real, physical form. But how? Where is the Body of Worshippers through which it can show itself? There isn't one. Instead, it will use inanimate matter to express itself. The overwhelming urge to create its own means of expression will pull in all the loose matter around it—sand, stones, anything it can make submit—everything will rush into the area where it operates. Alone, we are at the center, and you, on the outer edge, will be safe. Just—don’t get too close."
But Henriot was no longer listening. His soul had turned to ice. For here, in this unguarded moment, the cloven hoof had plainly shown itself. In that suggestion of a particular kind of danger Vance had lifted a corner of the curtain behind which crouched his horrible intention. Vance desired a witness of the extraordinary experiment, but he desired this witness, not merely for the purpose of sketching possible shapes that might present themselves to excited vision. He desired a witness for another reason too. Why had Vance put that idea into his mind, this idea of so peculiar danger? It might well have lost him the very assistance he seemed so anxious to obtain.
But Henriot was no longer paying attention. His heart had turned to stone. In this unguarded moment, the true nature of Vance’s intentions had become clear. Vance had hinted at a particular kind of danger, lifting a corner of the curtain that concealed his terrible plan. Vance wanted someone to witness the extraordinary experiment, but not just to sketch the possible shapes that might arise from heightened perceptions. There was another reason he sought a witness. Why had Vance planted this idea of such a strange danger in his mind? It might very well have cost him the very help he seemed so eager to secure.
Henriot could not fathom it quite. Only one thing was clear to him. He, Henriot, was not the only one in danger.
Henriot couldn't really understand it. One thing was clear to him: he, Henriot, wasn't the only one in danger.
They talked for long after that—far into the night. The lights went out, and the armed patrol, pacing to and fro outside the iron railings that kept the desert back, eyed them curiously. But the only other thing he gathered of importance was the ledge upon the cliff-top where he was to stand and watch; that he was expected to reach there before sunset and wait till the moon concealed all glimmer in the western sky, and—that the woman, who had been engaged for days in secret preparation of soul and body for the awful rite, would not be visible again until he saw her in the depths of the black valley far below, busy with this man upon audacious, ancient purposes.
They chatted for a long time after that—well into the night. The lights went out, and the armed patrol, walking back and forth outside the iron railings that held back the desert, watched them with interest. But the only other important thing he picked up was about the ledge on the cliff-top where he was supposed to stand and keep watch; he was expected to get there before sunset and wait until the moon hid all light in the western sky, and—that the woman, who had been secretly preparing herself physically and spiritually for the terrifying ritual for days, wouldn’t be seen again until he spotted her in the depths of the dark valley far below, busy with this man on bold, ancient plans.
IX
An hour before sunset Henriot put his rugs and food upon a donkey, and gave the boy directions where to meet him—a considerable distance from the appointed spot. He went himself on foot. He slipped in the heat along the sandy street, where strings of camels still go slouching, shuffling with their loads from the quarries that built the pyramids, and he felt that little friendly Helouan tried to keep him back. But desire now was far too strong for caution. The desert tide was rising. It easily swept him down the long white street towards the enormous deeps beyond. He felt the pull of a thousand miles before him; and twice a thousand years drove at his back.
An hour before sunset, Henriot loaded his rugs and food onto a donkey and told the boy where to meet him—quite a distance from the designated spot. He went on foot. He trudged along the hot, sandy street, where strings of camels still shuffled, carrying their loads from the quarries that built the pyramids. He sensed that little friendly Helouan was trying to hold him back. But his desire was now too strong for caution. The desert tide was rising, easily dragging him down the long white street towards the vastness beyond. He felt the pull of a thousand miles ahead of him, and two thousand years urging him on from behind.
Everything still basked in the sunshine. He passed Al Hayat, the stately hotel that dominates the village like a palace built against the sky; and in its pillared colonnades and terraces he saw the throngs of people having late afternoon tea and listening to the music of a regimental band. Men in flannels were playing tennis, parties were climbing off donkeys after long excursions; there was laughter, talking, a babel of many voices. The gaiety called to him; the everyday spirit whispered to stay and join the crowd of lively human beings. Soon there would be merry dinner-parties, dancing, voices of pretty women, sweet white dresses, singing, and the rest. Soft eyes would question and turn dark. He picked out several girls he knew among the palms. But it was all many, oh so many leagues away; centuries lay between him and this modern world. An indescriable loneliness was in his heart. He went searching through the sands of forgotten ages, and wandering among the ruins of a vanished time. He hurried. Already the deeper water caught his breath.
Everything was still soaking up the sunshine. He walked past Al Hayat, the grand hotel that stands over the village like a palace reaching for the sky; and in its pillared colonnades and terraces, he saw crowds of people enjoying late afternoon tea and listening to the music of a military band. Men in dressy shorts were playing tennis, groups were getting off donkeys after long trips; there was laughter, chatter, a mix of many voices. The lively atmosphere beckoned to him; the everyday vibe urged him to stay and join the lively crowd. Soon there would be cheerful dinner parties, dancing, the voices of attractive women, elegant white dresses, singing, and everything else. Soft eyes would inquire and then darken. He spotted several girls he recognized among the palms. But it all felt so distant; centuries separated him from this modern world. An indescribable loneliness filled his heart. He wandered through the sands of forgotten ages, roaming among the ruins of a lost time. He quickened his pace. Already the deeper waters were taking his breath away.
He climbed the steep rise towards the plateau where the Observatory stands, and saw two of the officials whom he knew taking a siesta after their long day's work. He felt that his mind, too, had dived and searched among the heavenly bodies that live in silent, changeless peace remote from the world of men. They recognised him, these two whose eyes also knew tremendous distance close. They beckoned, waving the straws through which they sipped their drinks from tall glasses. Their voices floated down to him as from the star-fields. He saw the sun gleam upon the glasses, and heard the clink of the ice against the sides. The stillness was amazing. He waved an answer, and passed quickly on. He could not stop this sliding current of the years.
He climbed the steep slope toward the plateau where the Observatory is located and saw two officials he recognized taking a nap after their long day at work. He felt that his mind had also ventured into the vastness of the universe, where the stars exist in quiet, unchanging peace, far from the world of humans. These two, whose eyes also understood the vast distances, recognized him. They waved, holding the straws with which they sipped their drinks from tall glasses. Their voices floated down to him like echoes from the stars. He saw the sun glint off the glasses and heard the ice clink against the sides. The stillness was incredible. He waved back and moved on quickly. He couldn’t stop the relentless flow of time.
The tide moved faster, the draw of piled-up cycles urging it. He emerged upon the plateau, and met the cooler Desert air. His feet went crunching on the "desert-film" that spread its curious dark shiny carpet as far as the eye could reach; it lay everywhere, unswept and smooth as when the feet of vanished civilizations trod its burning surface, then dipped behind the curtains Time pins against the stars. And here the body of the tide set all one way. There was a greater strength of current, draught and suction. He felt the powerful undertow. Deeper masses drew his feet sideways, and he felt the rushing of the central body of the sand. The sands were moving, from their foundation upwards. He went unresistingly with them.
The tide moved quickly, pulled along by the buildup of cycles. He stepped onto the plateau and felt the cooler desert air. His feet crunched on the "desert-film" that spread its shiny dark carpet as far as he could see; it lay everywhere, untouched and smooth as when the feet of long-lost civilizations walked its scorching surface, then slipped behind the curtains Time stretches against the stars. And here the tide's movement was all in one direction. There was a stronger current, pull, and suction. He felt the strong undertow. Deeper layers pulled his feet sideways, and he sensed the rush of the sand's core. The sands were shifting, rising from their base. He moved along with them without resistance.
Turning a moment, he looked back at shining little Helouan in the blaze of evening light. The voices reached him very faintly, merged now in a general murmur. Beyond lay the strip of Delta vivid green, the palms, the roofs of Bedrashein, the blue laughter of the Nile with its flocks of curved felucca sails. Further still, rising above the yellow Libyan horizon, gloomed the vast triangles of a dozen Pyramids, cutting their wedge-shaped clefts out of a sky fast crimsoning through a sea of gold. Seen thus, their dignity imposed upon the entire landscape. They towered darkly, symbolic signatures of the ancient Powers that now watched him taking these little steps across their damaged territory.
Turning for a moment, he glanced back at the bright little Helouan in the evening light. The voices reached him faintly, now blending into a general murmur. Beyond was the vibrant green of the Delta, the palms, the rooftops of Bedrashein, and the blue sparkle of the Nile with its flocks of curved felucca sails. Further still, rising above the yellow Libyan horizon, loomed the massive triangles of a dozen Pyramids, cutting their wedge-shaped silhouettes against a sky turning crimson through a sea of gold. From this perspective, their dignity dominated the entire landscape. They loomed darkly, symbolic reminders of the ancient Powers that now watched him make these small steps across their damaged territory.
He gazed a minute, then went on. He saw the big pale face of the moon in the east. Above the ever-silent Thing these giant symbols once interpreted, she rose, grand, effortless, half-terrible as themselves. And, with her, she lifted up this tide of the Desert that drew his feet across the sand to Wadi Hof. A moment later he dipped below the ridge that buried Helouan and Nile and Pyramids from sight. He entered the ancient waters. Time then, in an instant, flowed back behind his footsteps, obliterating every trace. And with it his mind went too. He stepped across the gulf of centuries, moving into the Past. The Desert lay before him—an open tomb wherein his soul should read presently of things long vanished.
He stared for a moment, then continued on. He saw the large pale face of the moon in the east. Above the ever-silent Thing that those giant symbols once explained, she rose, grand and effortless, half-terrifying just like them. And with her, she lifted the tide of the Desert that drew his feet across the sand to Wadi Hof. A moment later, he dipped below the ridge that hid Helouan, the Nile, and the Pyramids from view. He entered the ancient waters. Time then, in an instant, flowed back behind his footsteps, erasing every trace. And along with it, his mind did too. He stepped across the gulf of centuries, moving into the Past. The Desert lay before him—an open tomb where his soul would soon read about things long gone.
The strange half-lights of sunset began to play their witchery then upon the landscape. A purple glow came down upon the Mokattam Hills. Perspective danced its tricks of false, incredible deception. The soaring kites that were a mile away seemed suddenly close, passing in a moment from the size of gnats to birds with a fabulous stretch of wing. Ridges and cliffs rushed close without a hint of warning, and level places sank into declivities and basins that made him trip and stumble. That indescribable quality of the Desert, which makes timid souls avoid the hour of dusk, emerged; it spread everywhere, undisguised. And the bewilderment it brings is no vain, imagined thing, for it distorts vision utterly, and the effect upon the mind when familiar sight goes floundering is the simplest way in the world of dragging the anchor that grips reality. At the hour of sunset this bewilderment comes upon a man with a disconcerting swiftness. It rose now with all this weird rapidity. Henriot found himself enveloped at a moment's notice.
The strange half-lights of sunset began to cast their spell on the landscape. A purple glow descended upon the Mokattam Hills. Perspective played its tricks of false, incredible deception. The soaring kites that were a mile away suddenly seemed close, shifting in an instant from the size of gnats to birds with enormous wings. Ridges and cliffs rushed forward without warning, and flat areas sank into dips and hollows that made him trip and stumble. That indescribable quality of the Desert, which makes timid souls avoid dusk, emerged; it spread everywhere without disguise. The confusion it brings is no mere figment of imagination, as it distorts vision completely, and the impact on the mind when familiar sights become unsteady is the quickest way to lose grip on reality. At sunset, this confusion hits a person with startling speed. It rose now with all this strange rapidity. Henriot found himself surrounded in the blink of an eye.
But, knowing well its effect, he tried to judge it and pass on. The other matters, the object of his journey chief of all, he refused to dwell upon with any imagination. Wisely, his mind, while never losing sight of it, declined to admit the exaggeration that over-elaborate thinking brings. "I'm going to witness an incredible experiment in which two enthusiastic religious dreamers believe firmly," he repeated to himself. "I have agreed to draw—anything I see. There may be truth in it, or they may be merely self-suggested vision due to an artificial exaltation of their minds. I'm interested—perhaps against my better judgment. Yet I'll see the adventure out—because I must."
But, fully aware of its impact, he tried to assess it and move on. He refused to dwell on the other matters, the main purpose of his journey. Smartly, his mind, while always keeping it in sight, didn't allow the overthinking that can lead to exaggeration. "I'm about to witness an amazing experiment where two passionate religious dreamers believe wholeheartedly," he told himself. "I've agreed to draw—whatever I see. There might be some truth in it, or it could just be self-induced visions from an artificial boost to their minds. I'm curious—maybe against my better judgment. Still, I’ll see this adventure through—because I have to."
This was the attitude he told himself to take. Whether it was the real one, or merely adopted to warm a cooling courage, he could not tell. The emotions were so complex and warring. His mind, automatically, kept repeating this comforting formula. Deeper than that he could not see to judge. For a man who knew the full content of his thought at such a time would solve some of the oldest psychological problems in the world. Sand had already buried judgment, and with it all attempt to explain the adventure by the standards acceptable to his brain of to-day. He steered subconsciously through a world of dim, huge, half-remembered wonders.
This was the mindset he decided to adopt. Whether it was genuine or just a way to boost his fading courage, he couldn’t tell. His feelings were so complicated and conflicting. His mind automatically kept repeating this reassuring mantra. Beyond that, he couldn’t see clearly enough to evaluate. A man who fully understood his thoughts in a moment like this would uncover some of the oldest psychological mysteries in existence. Judgment had already been buried under sand, taking with it any attempt to explain the experience according to the standards his mind accepted today. He navigated unconsciously through a world of vague, immense, half-remembered wonders.
The sun, with that abrupt Egyptian suddenness, was below the horizon now. The pyramid field had swallowed it. Ra, in his golden boat, sailed distant seas beyond the Libyan wilderness. Henriot walked on and on, aware of utter loneliness. He was walking fields of dream, too remote from modern life to recall companionship he once had surely known. How dim it was, how deep and distant, how lost in this sea of an incalculable Past! He walked into the places that are soundless. The soundlessness of ocean, miles below the surface, was about him. He was with One only—this unfathomable, silent thing where nothing breathes or stirs—nothing but sunshine, shadow and the wind-borne sand. Slowly, in front, the moon climbed up the eastern sky, hanging above the silence—silence that ran unbroken across the horizons to where Suez gleamed upon the waters of a sister sea in motion. That moon was glinting now upon the Arabian Mountains by its desolate shores. Southwards stretched the wastes of Upper Egypt a thousand miles to meet the Nubian wilderness. But over all these separate Deserts stirred the soft whisper of the moving sand—deep murmuring message that Life was on the way to unwind Death. The Ka of Egypt, swathed in centuries of sand, hovered beneath the moon towards her ancient tenement.
The sun, with that suddenness typical of Egypt, had set below the horizon. The pyramid field had taken it in. Ra, in his golden boat, sailed across distant waters beyond the Libyan wilderness. Henriot walked on and on, feeling completely alone. He was wandering through fields of dreams, too far removed from modern life to remember the companionship he once had. How dim it was, how deep and distant, how lost in this endless sea of an unimaginable past! He walked into places that were silent. The silence of the ocean, miles below the surface, surrounded him. He was with only One—this unfathomable, silent entity where nothing breathes or moves—nothing but sunshine, shadow, and the wind-blown sand. Slowly, ahead, the moon rose in the eastern sky, hanging above the stillness—a stillness that stretched unbroken across the horizon to where Suez shimmered on the waters of a restless sea. That moon now sparkled on the Arabian Mountains along its barren shores. To the south lay the vastness of Upper Egypt, a thousand miles meeting the Nubian wilderness. But above all these separate deserts whispered the soft murmur of the shifting sand—a deep, murmuring message that life was on its way to unraveling death. The Ka of Egypt, wrapped in centuries of sand, floated beneath the moon toward her ancient home.
For the transformation of the Desert now began in earnest. It grew apace. Before he had gone the first two miles of his hour's journey, the twilight caught the rocky hills and twisted them into those monstrous revelations of physiognomies they barely take the trouble to conceal even in the daytime. And, while he well understood the eroding agencies that have produced them, there yet rose in his mind a deeper interpretation lurking just behind their literal meanings. Here, through the motionless surfaces, that nameless thing the Desert ill conceals urged outwards into embryonic form and shape, akin, he almost felt, to those immense deific symbols of Other Life the Egyptians knew and worshipped. Hence, from the Desert, had first come, he felt, the unearthly life they typified in their monstrous figures of granite, evoked in their stately temples, and communed with in the ritual of their Mystery ceremonials.
For the transformation of the Desert now began in earnest. It grew quickly. Before he had traveled the first two miles of his hour-long journey, twilight caught the rocky hills and distorted them into those monstrous faces they hardly bother to hide even in the daytime. While he understood the natural processes that created them, a deeper meaning seemed to emerge in his mind, just beyond their literal interpretations. Here, through the still surfaces, that nameless thing the Desert struggles to conceal pushed forward into a kind of early form and shape, something he almost felt connected to those immense divine symbols of Other Life that the Egyptians recognized and revered. Therefore, he sensed that the unearthly life they embodied in their monstrous stone figures, brought to life in their grand temples, and engaged with in the rituals of their Mystery ceremonies, first originated from the Desert.
This "watching" aspect of the Libyan Desert is really natural enough; but it is just the natural, Henriot knew, that brings the deepest revelations. The surface limestones, resisting the erosion, block themselves ominously against the sky, while the softer sand beneath sets them on altared pedestals that define their isolation splendidly. Blunt and unconquerable, these masses now watched him pass between them. The Desert surface formed them, gave them birth. They rose, they saw, they sank down again—waves upon a sea that carried forgotten life up from the depths below. Of forbidding, even menacing type, they somewhere mated with genuine grandeur. Unformed, according to any standard of human or of animal faces, they achieved an air of giant physiognomy which made them terrible. The unwinking stare of eyes—lidless eyes that yet ever succeed in hiding—looked out under well-marked, level eyebrows, suggesting a vision that included the motives and purposes of his very heart. They looked up grandly, understood why he was there, and then—slowly withdrew their mysterious, penetrating gaze.
This "watching" aspect of the Libyan Desert is really quite natural; but it’s just that naturalness, Henriot understood, that reveals the deepest truths. The surface limestones, which resist erosion, stand ominously against the sky, while the softer sand below elevates them on raised pedestals that beautifully highlight their isolation. Solid and unconquerable, these formations now observed him as he moved between them. The Desert’s surface shaped them, gave them life. They rose, they observed, and then they sank down again—waves in a sea that brought lost life from the depths below. Of a forbidding, even threatening type, they somehow combined with true grandeur. Lacking any recognizable human or animal features, they took on an unsettling giantlike presence. Their unblinking gaze—eyeless, yet capable of concealment—looked out from pronounced, level brows, suggesting an understanding of the motives and intentions in his very heart. They stared in a majestic way, recognized his presence, and then—slowly withdrew their mysterious, penetrating gaze.
The strata built them so marvellously up; the heavy, threatening brows; thick lips, curved by the ages into a semblance of cold smiles; jowls drooping into sandy heaps that climbed against the cheeks; protruding jaws, and the suggestion of shoulders just about to lift the entire bodies out of the sandy beds—this host of countenances conveyed a solemnity of expression that seemed everlasting, implacable as Death. Of human signature they bore no trace, nor was comparison possible between their kind and any animal life. They peopled the Desert here. And their smiles, concealed yet just discernible, went broadening with the darkness into a Desert laughter. The silence bore it underground. But Henriot was aware of it. The troop of faces slipped into that single, enormous countenance which is the visage of the Sand. And he saw it everywhere, yet nowhere.
The layers constructed them so wonderfully; the heavy, threatening brows; thick lips, shaped by time into a sort of cold smile; jowls sagging into sandy mounds that rose against the cheeks; jutting jaws, and the hint of shoulders ready to lift the whole bodies out of the sandy graves—this array of faces conveyed a seriousness of expression that felt eternal, unyielding as Death. They showed no trace of human identity, nor could be compared to any form of animal life. They inhabited the Desert here. And their smiles, hidden yet barely noticeable, grew wider with the darkness into a Desert laughter. The silence carried it below ground. But Henriot sensed it. The multitude of faces merged into that single, vast visage which is the face of the Sand. And he saw it everywhere, yet nowhere.
Thus with the darkness grew his imaginative interpretation of the Desert. Yet there was construction in it, a construction, moreover, that was not entirely his own. Powers, he felt, were rising, stirring, wakening from sleep. Behind the natural faces that he saw, these other things peered gravely at him as he passed. They used, as it were, materials that lay ready to their hand. Imagination furnished these hints of outline, yet the Powers themselves were real. There was this amazing movement of the sand. By no other manner could his mind have conceived of such a thing, nor dreamed of this simple, yet dreadful method of approach.
Thus, as darkness fell, so did his creative view of the Desert take shape. However, there was a structure to it that was not entirely his own. He sensed forces rising, stirring, waking from slumber. Behind the natural faces he observed, these other entities looked at him seriously as he walked by. They used, so to speak, materials that were readily available to them. His imagination provided these hints of form, yet the Powers themselves were genuine. There was this incredible movement of the sand. There was no other way his mind could have envisioned something like that, nor could it have imagined this straightforward, yet terrifying, method of approach.
Approach! that was the word that first stood out and startled him. There was approach; something was drawing nearer. The Desert rose and walked beside him. For not alone these ribs of gleaming limestone contributed towards the elemental visages, but the entire hills, of which they were an outcrop, ran to assist in the formation, and were a necessary part of them. He was watched and stared at from behind, in front, on either side, and even from below. The sand that swept him on, kept even pace with him. It turned luminous too, with a patchwork of glimmering effect that was indescribably weird; lanterns glowed within its substance, and by their light he stumbled on, glad of the Arab boy he would presently meet at the appointed place.
Approach! That was the word that jumped out and surprised him. There was an approach; something was getting closer. The Desert rose up and walked alongside him. It wasn't just these ribs of shining limestone that contributed to the elemental shapes, but the entire hills, of which they were a part, helped form them and were essential to their existence. He was being watched and stared at from behind, in front, on all sides, and even from below. The sand that carried him forward kept pace with him. It also became luminous, with a patchwork of shimmering effects that were strangely indescribable; lanterns glowed within it, and by their light, he moved ahead, grateful for the Arab boy he would soon meet at the designated spot.
The last torch of the sunset had flickered out, melting into the wilderness, when, suddenly opening at his feet, gaped the deep, wide gully known as Wadi Hof. Its curve swept past him.
The last light of the sunset had faded away, blending into the wilderness, when, suddenly opening at his feet, was the deep, wide gully called Wadi Hof. Its curve swept past him.
This first impression came upon him with a certain violence: that the desolate valley rushed. He saw but a section of its curve and sweep, but through its entire length of several miles the Wadi fled away. The moon whitened it like snow, piling black shadows very close against the cliffs. In the flood of moonlight it went rushing past. It was emptying itself.
This first impression hit him hard: the empty valley seemed to surge. He could only see part of its curve and flow, but along its entire stretch of several miles, the Wadi seemed to race away. The moon lit it up like snow, casting dark shadows right against the cliffs. In the bright moonlight, it rushed by. It was pouring out.
For a moment the stream of movement seemed to pause and look up into his face, then instantly went on again upon its swift career. It was like the procession of a river to the sea. The valley emptied itself to make way for what was coming. The approach, moreover, had already begun.
For a moment, the flow of movement seemed to stop and look up at his face, then immediately continued on its fast track. It was like a river making its way to the sea. The valley made room for what was ahead. The approach had already started, in fact.
Conscious that he was trembling, he stood and gazed into the depths, seeking to steady his mind by the repetition of the little formula he had used before. He said it half aloud. But, while he did so, his heart whispered quite other things. Thoughts the woman and the man had sown rose up in a flock and fell upon him like a storm of sand. Their impetus drove off all support of ordinary ideas. They shook him where he stood, staring down into this river of strange invisible movement that was hundreds of feet in depth and a quarter of a mile across.
Aware that he was shaking, he stood and stared into the depths, trying to calm his thoughts by repeating the small mantra he had used before. He said it half-proudly. But as he did, his heart whispered different things. Ideas planted by the woman and the man surged up like a swarm and crashed down on him like a sandstorm. Their force swept away all his usual thoughts. They unsettled him as he gazed down into this river of strange, unseen currents that was hundreds of feet deep and a quarter of a mile wide.
He sought to realise himself as he actually was to-day—mere visitor to Helouan, tempted into this wild adventure with two strangers. But in vain. That seemed a dream, unreal, a transient detail picked out from the enormous Past that now engulfed him, heart and mind and soul. This was the reality.
He wanted to understand himself as he truly was today—just a visitor to Helouan, drawn into this wild adventure with two strangers. But it was pointless. That felt like a dream, unreal, a fleeting detail taken from the vast Past that now overwhelmed him, heart and mind and soul. This was the reality.
The shapes and faces that the hills of sand built round him were the play of excited fancy only. By sheer force he pinned his thought against this fact: but further he could not get. There were Powers at work; they were being stirred, wakened somewhere into activity. Evocation had already begun. That sense of their approach as he had walked along from Helouan was not imaginary. A descent of some type of life, vanished from the world too long for recollection, was on the way,—so vast that it would manifest itself in a group of forms, a troop, a host, an army. These two were near him somewhere at this very moment, already long at work, their minds driving beyond this little world. The valley was emptying itself—for the descent of life their ritual invited.
The shapes and faces that the sand hills created around him were just a vivid imagination. He forced himself to focus on this reality, but couldn’t go any deeper. There were forces at play; something was being stirred up and awakened somewhere. The call had already started. That feeling he had while walking from Helouan wasn’t just in his head. A descent of some kind of life, lost to the world for so long that no one could remember it, was coming—so immense that it would show up in a swarm of forms, a group, a host, an army. These two were close by at this very moment, already at work, their thoughts pushing beyond this small world. The valley was emptying itself, preparing for the descent of life their ritual invited.
And the movement in the sand was likewise true. He recalled the sentences the woman had used. "My body," he reflected, "like the bodies life makes use of everywhere, is mere upright heap of earth and dust and—sand. Here in the Desert is the raw material, the greatest store of it in the world."
And the movement in the sand was just as real. He thought about the words the woman had said. "My body," he considered, "like the bodies life uses everywhere, is just a vertical pile of earth, dust, and—sand. Here in the Desert is the raw material, the largest supply of it in the world."
And on the heels of it came sharply that other thing: that this descending Life would press into its service all loose matter within its reach—to form that sphere of action which would be in a literal sense its Body.
And right after that came the other realization: that this downward Life would use all the loose matter around it to create the sphere of action that would literally be its Body.
In the first few seconds, as he stood there, he realised all this, and realised it with an overwhelming conviction it was futile to deny. The fast-emptying valley would later brim with an unaccustomed and terrific life. Yet Death hid there too—a little, ugly, insignificant death. With the name of Vance it flashed upon his mind and vanished, too tiny to be thought about in this torrent of grander messages that shook the depths within his soul. He bowed his head a moment, hardly knowing what he did. He could have waited thus a thousand years it seemed. He was conscious of a wild desire to run away, to hide, to efface himself utterly, his terror, his curiosity, his little wonder, and not be seen of anything. But it was all vain and foolish. The Desert saw him. The Gigantic knew that he was there. No escape was possible any longer. Caught by the sand, he stood amid eternal things. The river of movement swept him too.
In the first few seconds, as he stood there, he understood all of this, realizing with a powerful certainty that it was pointless to deny. The almost empty valley would later be filled with an unfamiliar and amazing life. But Death was hidden there too—a small, ugly, insignificant death. The name Vance flashed in his mind and disappeared, too tiny to ponder in this flood of greater messages that shook him to his core. He bowed his head for a moment, hardly aware of what he was doing. He felt he could have waited like this for a thousand years. He was aware of a wild urge to run away, to hide, to completely erase himself—his fear, his curiosity, his little wonder—and not to be seen by anything. But it was all pointless and foolish. The Desert saw him. The Gigantic knew he was there. No escape was possible anymore. Caught by the sand, he stood among eternal things. The river of movement swept him away too.
These hills, now motionless as statues, would presently glide forward into the cavalcade, sway like vessels, and go past with the procession. At present only the contents, not the frame, of the Wadi moved. An immense soft brush of moonlight swept it empty for what was on the way.... But presently the entire Desert would stand up and also go.
These hills, now still like statues, would soon glide forward into the parade, sway like ships, and pass by the procession. For now, only the contents, not the shape, of the Wadi were moving. An enormous, gentle wash of moonlight swept it clean for what was coming.... But soon the entire Desert would rise up and move too.
Then, making a sideways movement, his feet kicked against something soft and yielding that lay heaped upon the Desert floor, and Henriot discovered the rugs the Arab boy had carefully set down before he made full speed for the friendly lights of Helouan. The sound of his departing footsteps had long since died away. He was alone.
Then, taking a sideways step, his feet bumped into something soft and plush that was piled on the desert floor, and Henriot found the rugs the Arab boy had neatly placed down before he rushed toward the welcoming lights of Helouan. The sound of his fading footsteps had long vanished. He was alone.
The detail restored to him his consciousness of the immediate present, and, stooping, he gathered up the rugs and overcoat and began to make preparations for the night. But the appointed spot, whence he was to watch, lay upon the summit of the opposite cliffs. He must cross the Wadi bed and climb. Slowly and with labour he made his way down a steep cleft into the depth of the Wadi Hof, sliding and stumbling often, till at length he stood upon the floor of shining moonlight. It was very smooth; windless utterly; still as space; each particle of sand lay in its ancient place asleep. The movement, it seemed, had ceased.
The detail brought him back to the present moment, and, bending down, he picked up the rugs and overcoat and started getting ready for the night. But the designated spot, where he was supposed to watch from, was at the top of the cliffs on the other side. He had to cross the Wadi bed and climb up. Slowly and with effort, he made his way down a steep gap into the depth of Wadi Hof, sliding and tripping often, until finally he stood on the floor bathed in moonlight. It was very smooth; completely still, like space; each grain of sand was resting in its familiar spot. It felt like all movement had stopped.
He clambered next up the eastern side, through pitch-black shadows, and within the hour reached the ledge upon the top whence he could see below him, like a silvered map, the sweep of the valley bed. The wind nipped keenly here again, coming over the leagues of cooling sand. Loose boulders of splintered rock, started by his climbing, crashed and boomed into the depths. He banked the rugs behind him, wrapped himself in his overcoat, and lay down to wait. Behind him was a two-foot crumbling wall against which he leaned; in front a drop of several hundred feet through space. He lay upon a platform, therefore, invisible from the Desert at his back. Below, the curving Wadi formed a natural amphitheatre in which each separate boulder fallen from the cliffs, and even the little silla shrubs the camels eat, were plainly visible. He noted all the bigger ones among them. He counted them over half aloud.
He climbed up the eastern side, through dark shadows, and within an hour reached the ledge at the top where he could see below him, like a silver map, the stretch of the valley floor. The wind bit sharply here again, coming over the miles of cooling sand. Loose boulders of broken rock, disturbed by his climbing, crashed and echoed into the depths. He piled the rugs behind him, wrapped himself in his overcoat, and lay down to wait. Behind him was a two-foot crumbling wall that he leaned against; in front was a drop of several hundred feet into open space. He lay on a platform, therefore, hidden from the desert behind him. Below, the curving Wadi formed a natural amphitheater where each separate boulder that fell from the cliffs, and even the little silla shrubs that camels eat, were clearly visible. He took note of all the larger ones among them. He counted them out loud.
And the moving stream he had been unaware of when crossing the bed itself, now began again. The Wadi went rushing past before the broom of moonlight. Again, the enormous and the tiny combined in one single strange impression. For, through this conception of great movement, stirred also a roving, delicate touch that his imagination felt as bird-like. Behind the solid mass of the Desert's immobility flashed something swift and light and airy. Bizarre pictures interpreted it to him, like rapid snap-shots of a huge flying panorama: he thought of darting dragon-flies seen at Helouan, of children's little dancing feet, of twinkling butterflies—of birds. Chiefly, yes, of a flock of birds in flight, whose separate units formed a single entity. The idea of the Group-Soul possessed his mind once more. But it came with a sense of more than curiosity or wonder. Veneration lay behind it, a veneration touched with awe. It rose in his deepest thought that here was the first hint of a symbolical representation. A symbol, sacred and inviolable, belonging to some ancient worship that he half remembered in his soul, stirred towards interpretation through all his being.
And the flowing stream he had not noticed while crossing the bed itself now started again. The Wadi rushed past under the moonlight. Once more, the immense and the tiny merged into one strange impression. Through this sense of great movement, there was also a light, delicate touch that felt bird-like to his imagination. Behind the solid mass of the Desert’s stillness flashed something quick, light, and airy. Odd images flashed in his mind, like quick snapshots of a vast flying panorama: he thought of darting dragonflies he’d seen at Helouan, of children’s little dancing feet, of twinkling butterflies—of birds. Mainly, yes, of a flock of birds in flight, each one forming a single unit. The idea of the Group-Soul filled his mind again. But this time, it came with more than just curiosity or wonder. Reverence lay behind it, a reverence mixed with awe. It dawned on him that this was the first hint of a symbolic representation. A symbol, sacred and untouchable, belonging to some ancient worship that he partially remembered in his soul, stirred toward understanding through his entire being.
He lay there waiting, wondering vaguely where his two companions were, yet fear all vanished because he felt attuned to a scale of things too big to mate with definite dread. There was high anticipation in him, but not anxiety. Of himself, as Felix Henriot, indeed, he hardly seemed aware. He was some one else. Or, rather, he was himself at a stage he had known once far, far away in a remote pre-existence. He watched himself from dim summits of a Past, of which no further details were as yet recoverable.
He lay there waiting, vaguely wondering where his two companions were, but all fear had faded away because he felt connected to something much larger than any specific dread. He was filled with anticipation, but not anxiety. As Felix Henriot, he barely seemed aware of himself. He felt like someone else. Or, more accurately, he felt like himself at a stage he had once known long ago in some distant past. He observed himself from the distant heights of a Past, from which no other details could yet be recalled.
Pencil and sketching-block lay ready to his hand. The moon rose higher, tucking the shadows ever more closely against the precipices. The silver passed into a sheet of snowy whiteness, that made every boulder clearly visible. Solemnity deepened everywhere into awe. The Wadi fled silently down the stream of hours. It was almost empty now. And then, abruptly, he was aware of change. The motion altered somewhere. It moved more quietly; pace slackened; the end of the procession that evacuated the depth and length of it went trailing past and turned the distant bend.
Pencil and sketchbook were ready in his hand. The moon rose higher, pushing the shadows tighter against the cliffs. The silver light transformed into a bright, snowy glow that made every boulder stand out clearly. A serious mood deepened into a sense of awe all around. The Wadi flowed silently down the stream of time. It was almost deserted now. And then, suddenly, he sensed a change. The movement shifted somewhere. It became quieter; the pace slowed; the end of the procession that had emptied the depth and length of it drifted by and turned around the distant bend.
"It's slowing up," he whispered, as sure of it as though he had watched a regiment of soldiers filing by. The wind took off his voice like a flying feather of sound.
"It's slowing down," he whispered, completely convinced, like he had just seen a regiment of soldiers marching past. The wind carried away his voice like a drifting feather of sound.
And there was a change. It had begun. Night and the moon stood still to watch and listen. The wind dropped utterly away. The sand ceased its shifting movement. The Desert everywhere stopped still, and turned.
And there was a change. It had begun. Night and the moon stood still to watch and listen. The wind completely disappeared. The sand stopped moving. The Desert everywhere came to a halt and turned.
Some curtain, then, that for centuries had veiled the world, drew softly up, leaving a shaded vista down which the eyes of his soul peered towards long-forgotten pictures. Still buried by the sands too deep for full recovery, he yet perceived dim portions of them—things once honoured and loved passionately. For once they had surely been to him the whole of life, not merely a fragment for cheap wonder to inspect. And they were curiously familiar, even as the person of this woman who now evoked them was familiar. Henriot made no pretence to more definite remembrance; but the haunting certainty rushed over him, deeper than doubt or denial, and with such force that he felt no effort to destroy it. Some lost sweetness of spiritual ambitions, lived for with this passionate devotion, and passionately worshipped as men to-day worship fame and money, revived in him with a tempest of high glory. Centres of memory stirred from an age-long sleep, so that he could have wept at their so complete obliteration hitherto. That such majesty had departed from the world as though it never had existed, was a thought for desolation and for tears. And though the little fragment he was about to witness might be crude in itself and incomplete, yet it was part of a vast system that once explored the richest realms of deity. The reverence in him contained a holiness of the night and of the stars; great, gentle awe lay in it too; for he stood, aflame with anticipation and humility, at the gateway of sacred things.
Some curtain that had concealed the world for centuries slowly lifted, revealing a shaded view down which his soul’s eyes gazed at long-forgotten images. Still buried under sands too deep for complete recovery, he could faintly make out parts of them—things once cherished and passionately loved. For they had surely represented all of life to him, not just a mere fragment for casual observation. And they felt strangely familiar, just like the woman who now brought them to mind. Henriot made no claim to clearer memories, but a haunting certainty washed over him, deeper than doubt or denial, and so powerful that he felt no urge to dismiss it. Some lost sweetness of spiritual dreams, once pursued with passionate devotion and worshipped as men today worship fame and money, surged within him like a storm of elevated glory. Memories stirred from a long slumber, making him almost weep over their complete erasure until now. The thought that such greatness had vanished from the world as if it had never existed was one of despair and tears. And though the small piece he was about to witness might be rough and unfinished, it was part of a vast system that once explored the richest realms of divinity. The reverence he felt contained a holiness of night and stars; great, gentle awe rested within it too, for he stood, aflame with anticipation and humility, at the threshold of sacred things.
And this was the mood, no thrill of cheap excitement or alarm to weaken in, in which he first became aware that two spots of darkness he had taken all along for boulders on the snowy valley bed, were actually something very different. They were living figures. They moved. It was not the shadows slowly following the moonlight, but the stir of human beings who all these hours had been motionless as stone. He must have passed them unnoticed within a dozen yards when he crossed the Wadi bed, and a hundred times from this very ledge his eyes had surely rested on them without recognition. Their minds, he knew full well, had not been inactive as their bodies. The important part of the ancient ritual lay, he remembered, in the powers of the evoking mind.
And this was the mood, without any cheap thrills or alarms to distract from it, in which he first realized that the two dark shapes he had always thought were boulders on the snowy valley floor were actually something completely different. They were living figures. They moved. It wasn't the shadows gradually shifting with the moonlight, but the presence of human beings who had remained still as stone for all this time. He must have walked past them without noticing, just a dozen yards away when he crossed the Wadi bed, and he had likely looked at them from this very ledge a hundred times without recognizing them. He understood well that their minds had been active even if their bodies were not. The key part of the ancient ritual, he recalled, was in the powers of the mind that brings things to life.
Here, indeed, was no effective nor theatrical approach of the principal figures. It had nothing in common with the cheap external ceremonial of modern days. In forgotten powers of the soul its grandeur lay, potent, splendid, true. Long before he came, perhaps all through the day, these two had laboured with their arduous preparations. They were there, part of the Desert, when hours ago he had crossed the plateau in the twilight. To them—to this woman's potent working of old ceremonial—had been due that singular rush of imagination he had felt. He had interpreted the Desert as alive. Here was the explanation. It was alive. Life was on the way. Long latent, her intense desire summoned it back to physical expression; and the effect upon him had steadily increased as he drew nearer to the centre where she would focus its revival and return. Those singular impressions of being watched and accompanied were explained. A priest of this old-world worship performed a genuine evocation; a Great One of Vision revived the cosmic Powers.
Here, there was no impressive or dramatic approach from the main figures. It had nothing to do with the superficial ceremonies of today. Its greatness lay in the forgotten depths of the soul—strong, magnificent, and authentic. Long before he arrived, perhaps throughout the day, these two had worked hard on their preparations. They were part of the Desert, even when he crossed the plateau in the fading light hours earlier. It was this woman’s powerful use of ancient rituals that had inspired the intense rush of imagination he experienced. He perceived the Desert as alive. Here was the explanation: it truly was alive. Life was on the way. Her deep, dormant desire called it back to physical form, and the effect on him grew stronger as he neared the center where she would channel its revival. Those strange feelings of being watched and accompanied made sense. A priest of this ancient worship performed a true invocation; a Great One of Vision brought the cosmic Powers back to life.
Henriot watched the small figures far below him with a sense of dramatic splendour that only this association of far-off Memory could account for. It was their rising now, and the lifting of their arms to form a slow revolving outline, that marked the abrupt cessation of the larger river of movement; for the sweeping of the Wadi sank into sudden stillness, and these two, with motions not unlike some dance of deliberate solemnity, passed slowly through the moonlight to and fro. His attention fixed upon them both. All other movement ceased. They fastened the flow of Time against the Desert's body.
Henriot watched the small figures far below him with a sense of dramatic grandeur that only this connection to distant memories could explain. It was their rising now, and the lifting of their arms to create a slowly revolving shape, that marked the sudden stop of the larger river of movement; the flow of the Wadi fell into an unexpected stillness, and these two, with movements resembling a deliberate, solemn dance, passed slowly back and forth through the moonlight. His focus was on both of them. All other movement stopped. They anchored the flow of time against the desert's vastness.
What happened then? How could his mind interpret an experience so long denied that the power of expression, as of comprehension, has ceased to exist? How translate this symbolical representation, small detail though it was, of a transcendent worship entombed for most so utterly beyond recovery? Its splendour could never lodge in minds that conceive Deity perched upon a cloud within telephoning distance of fashionable churches. How should he phrase it even to himself, whose memory drew up pictures from so dim a past that the language fit to frame them lay unreachable and lost?
What happened next? How could his mind understand an experience that had been denied for so long that the ability to express and even grasp it had vanished? How could he translate this symbolic representation, small as it was, of a deeply meaningful worship that was so completely buried it seemed impossible to revive? Its brilliance could never be grasped by those who picture God sitting on a cloud, just a phone call away from trendy churches. How could he even describe it to himself, with memories fading into a distant past where the right words to express them were out of reach and forgotten?
Henriot did not know. Perhaps he never yet has known. Certainly, at the time, he did not even try to think. His sensations remain his own—untranslatable; and even that instinctive description the mind gropes for automatically, floundered, halted, and stopped dead. Yet there rose within him somewhere, from depths long drowned in slumber, a reviving power by which he saw, divined and recollected—remembered seemed too literal a word—these elements of a worship he once had personally known. He, too, had worshipped thus. His soul had moved amid similar evocations in some aeonian past, whence now the sand was being cleared away. Symbols of stupendous meaning flashed and went their way across the lifting mists. He hardly caught their meaning, so long it was since, he had known them; yet they were familiar as the faces seen in dreams, and some hint of their spiritual significance left faint traces in his heart by means of which their grandeur reached towards interpretation. And all were symbols of a cosmic, deific nature; of Powers that only symbols can express—prayer-books and sacraments used in the Wisdom Religion of an older time, but to-day known only in the decrepit, literal shell which is their degradation.
Henriot didn't know. Maybe he still doesn't. At that moment, he didn't even try to think. His feelings were his own—untranslatable; and even that instinctive description the mind automatically reaches for stumbled, halted, and came to a stop. Yet deep within him, from places long buried in sleep, a reviving force emerged by which he saw, understood, and remembered—“remembered” felt too straightforward—a connection to a kind of worship he had once personally experienced. He, too, had worshipped like this. His soul had responded to similar feelings in some ancient past, from which now the sand was being swept away. Symbols of immense significance flashed by through the clearing mists. He barely grasped their meaning, it had been so long since he had recognized them; yet they were as familiar as faces seen in dreams, and some trace of their spiritual importance lingered in his heart, allowing their grandeur to seek understanding. All of them were symbols of a cosmic, divine nature; of forces that can only be represented by symbols—prayer books and sacraments used in the Wisdom Religion of an earlier time, but today only known in their worn, literal form that represents their decline.
Grandly the figures moved across the valley bed. The powers of the heavenly bodies once more joined them. They moved to the measure of a cosmic dance, whose rhythm was creative. The Universe partnered them.
Grandly, the figures moved across the valley floor. The forces of the celestial bodies joined them once again. They moved to the beat of a cosmic dance, its rhythm being creative. The Universe was their partner.
There was this transfiguration of all common, external things. He realised that appearances were visible letters of a soundless language, a language he once had known. The powers of night and moon and desert sand married with points in the fluid stream of his inmost spiritual being that knew and welcomed them. He understood.
There was this transformation of everything ordinary and external. He realized that appearances were like visible letters of a silent language, a language he used to understand. The forces of night, the moon, and desert sand combined with moments in the flowing depths of his innermost spiritual self that recognized and embraced them. He understood.
Old Egypt herself stooped down from her uncovered throne. The stars sent messengers. There was commotion in the secret, sandy places of the desert. For the Desert had grown Temple. Columns reared against the sky. There rose, from leagues away, the chanting of the sand.
Old Egypt herself leaned down from her uncovered throne. The stars sent out messengers. There was a stir in the hidden, sandy spots of the desert. For the Desert had transformed into a Temple. Columns stood tall against the sky. From miles away, the chanting of the sand rose up.
The temples, where once this came to pass, were gone, their ruin questioned by alien hearts that knew not their spiritual meaning. But here the entire Desert swept in to form a shrine, and the Majesty that once was Egypt stepped grandly back across ages of denial and neglect. The sand was altar, and the stars were altar lights. The moon lit up the vast recesses of the ceiling, and the wind from a thousand miles brought in the perfume of her incense. For with that faith which shifts mountains from their sandy bed, two passionate, believing souls invoked the Ka of Egypt.
The temples, where this once happened, were gone, their ruins questioned by strangers who didn't understand their spiritual significance. But here, the entire Desert came together to create a shrine, and the greatness that once was Egypt returned majestically across ages of denial and neglect. The sand became an altar, and the stars served as altar lights. The moon illuminated the vast spaces of the ceiling, and the wind from a thousand miles carried in the scent of her incense. For with a faith that can move mountains from their sandy beds, two passionate, believing souls called upon the Ka of Egypt.
And the motions that they made, he saw, were definite harmonious patterns their dark figures traced upon the shining valley floor. Like the points of compasses, with stems invisible, and directed from the sky, their movements marked the outlines of great signatures of power—the sigils of the type of life they would evoke. It would come as a Procession. No individual outline could contain it. It needed for its visible expression—many. The descent of a group-soul, known to the worship of this mighty system, rose from its lair of centuries and moved hugely down upon them. The Ka, answering to the summons, would mate with sand. The Desert was its Body.
And the movements they made, he noticed, formed clear, harmonious patterns with their dark figures tracing shapes on the shining valley floor. Like the points of a compass, with invisible stems directed from above, their motions outlined powerful symbols—the sigils of the kind of life they would bring forth. It would arrive like a Procession. No single figure could contain it. It required many for its visible expression. The essence of a group-soul, recognized by the worship of this mighty system, rose from its centuries-old lair and moved heavily towards them. The Ka, responding to the call, would connect with the sand. The Desert was its Body.
Yet it was not this that he had come to fix with block and pencil. Not yet was the moment when his skill might be of use. He waited, watched, and listened, while this river of half-remembered things went past him. The patterns grew beneath his eyes like music. Too intricate and prolonged to remember with accuracy later, he understood that they were forms of that root-geometry which lies behind all manifested life. The mould was being traced in outline. Life would presently inform it. And a singing rose from the maze of lines whose beauty was like the beauty of the constellations.
Yet he hadn’t come to fix this with block and pencil. The moment when his skills could actually be useful hadn’t arrived yet. He waited, watched, and listened while this flow of half-remembered things passed by him. The patterns emerged before him like music. Too complex and extended to accurately recall later, he realized they were forms of that fundamental geometry underlying all living things. The mold was being outlined. Life would soon fill it in. And a melody flowed from the tangled lines, whose beauty resembled that of the constellations.
This sound was very faint at first, but grew steadily in volume. Although no echoes, properly speaking, were possible, these precipices caught stray notes that trooped in from the further sandy reaches. The figures certainly were chanting, but their chanting was not all he heard. Other sounds came to his ears from far away, running past him through the air from every side, and from incredible distances, all flocking down into the Wadi bed to join the parent note that summoned them. The Desert was giving voice. And memory, lifting her hood yet higher, showed more of her grey, mysterious face that searched his soul with questions. Had he so soon forgotten that strange union of form and sound which once was known to the evocative rituals of olden days?
This sound was really quiet at first, but it gradually got louder. Even though there weren’t technically any echoes, these cliffs picked up stray notes drifting in from the distant sandy areas. The figures were definitely chanting, but that wasn’t the only thing he heard. Other sounds reached him from far away, rushing past him through the air from all directions, and from unbelievable distances, converging into the Wadi bed to join the main note that called them. The Desert was coming alive. And memory, pushing her hood back even further, revealed more of her grey, mysterious face that probed his soul with questions. Had he really forgotten so quickly that unique blend of form and sound that was once part of the evocative rituals of ancient times?
Henriot tried patiently to disentangle this desert-music that their intoning voices woke, from the humming of the blood in his own veins. But he succeeded only in part. Sand was already in the air. There was reverberation, rhythm, measure; there was almost the breaking of the stream into great syllables. But was it due, this strange reverberation, to the countless particles of sand meeting in mid-air about him, or—to larger bodies, whose surfaces caught this friction of the sand and threw it back against his ears? The wind, now rising, brought particles that stung his face and hands, and filled his eyes with a minute fine dust that partially veiled the moonlight. But was not something larger, vaster these particles composed now also on the way?
Henriot tried to patiently untangle the desert music that their chanting voices stirred up from the buzzing of blood in his own veins. But he only managed to do it partially. Sand was already in the air. There was a vibration, a rhythm, a beat; it was almost like the stream was breaking into big syllables. But was this strange echo caused by the countless grains of sand colliding in mid-air around him, or was it due to larger bodies, whose surfaces caught the sand's friction and bounced it back against his ears? The wind, now picking up, brought particles that stung his face and hands, filling his eyes with a fine dust that partially obscured the moonlight. But was there not something larger and more expansive that these particles were also composing on their way?
Movement and sound and flying sand thus merged themselves more and more in a single, whirling torrent. But Henriot sought no commonplace explanation of what he witnessed; and here was the proof that all happened in some vestibule of inner experience where the strain of question and answer had no business. One sitting beside him need not have seen anything at all. His host, for instance, from Helouan, need not have been aware. Night screened it; Helouan, as the whole of modern experience, stood in front of the screen. This thing took place behind it. He crouched motionless, watching in some reconstructed ante-chamber of the soul's pre-existence, while the torrent grew into a veritable tempest.
Movement, sound, and swirling sand combined into a single, chaotic flow. But Henriot didn’t look for a simple explanation for what he saw; this was proof that everything occurred in a realm of inner experience where the tension of questions and answers didn’t belong. Anyone sitting next to him didn't need to see anything at all. His host, for instance, from Helouan, might not have even noticed. Night concealed it; Helouan, like all of modern experience, stood in front of that veil. This event unfolded behind it. He remained still, observing in a reimagined space of the soul's past existence, while the flow intensified into a true storm.
Yet Night remained unshaken; the veil of moonlight did not quiver; the stars dropped their slender golden pillars unobstructed. Calmness reigned everywhere as before. The stupendous representation passed on behind it all.
Yet Night remained untouched; the moonlight's veil did not tremble; the stars cast their delicate golden beams without interruption. Calmness prevailed everywhere just as before. The grand spectacle continued in the background.
But the dignity of the little human movements that he watched had become now indescribable. The gestures of the arms and bodies invested themselves with consummate grandeur, as these two strode into the caverns behind manifested life and drew forth symbols that represented vanished Powers. The sound of their chanting voices broke in cadenced fragments against the shores of language. The words Henriot never actually caught, if words they were; yet he understood their purport—these Names of Power to which the type of returning life gave answer as they approached. He remembered fumbling for his drawing materials, with such violence, however, that the pencil snapped in two between his fingers as he touched it. For now, even here, upon the outer fringe of the ceremonial ground, there was a stir of forces that set the very muscles working in him before he had become aware of it....
But the grace of the small human movements he watched had become indescribable. The gestures of their arms and bodies took on incredible grandeur as the two of them walked into the depths behind visible life and brought out symbols representing lost Powers. The sound of their chanting voices shattered into rhythmic fragments against the limits of language. Henriot never truly grasped the words, if they were words at all; yet he understood their meaning—these Names of Power to which the form of returning life responded as they drew near. He remembered reaching for his drawing materials so forcefully that the pencil broke in two between his fingers as he grabbed it. For even here, on the outer edge of the ceremonial ground, there was a buzz of energy that activated his muscles before he even realized it....
Then came the moment when his heart leaped against his ribs with a sudden violence that was almost pain, standing a second later still as death. The lines upon the valley floor ceased their maze-like dance. All movement stopped. Sound died away. In the midst of this profound and dreadful silence the sigils lay empty there below him. They waited to be in-formed. For the moment of entrance had come at last. Life was close.
Then came the moment when his heart raced against his chest with a sudden intensity that was almost painful, standing still a second later like death. The lines on the valley floor stopped their twisting dance. All movement ceased. Sound faded away. In the midst of this deep and terrifying silence, the symbols lay empty below him. They were waiting to be brought to life. The moment of entry had finally arrived. Life was near.
And he understood why this return of life had all along suggested a Procession and could be no mere momentary flash of vision. From such appalling distance did it sweep down towards the present.
And he realized why this return of life had always felt like a Procession and couldn't just be a brief flash of insight. It came sweeping down from such a shocking distance toward the present.
Upon this network, then, of splendid lines, at length held rigid, the entire Desert reared itself with walls of curtained sand, that dwarfed the cliffs, the shouldering hills, the very sky. The Desert stood on end. As once before he had dreamed it from his balcony windows, it rose upright, towering, and close against his face. It built sudden ramparts to the stars that chambered the thing he witnessed behind walls no centuries could ever bring down crumbling into dust.
On this network of impressive lines, finally held firm, the whole Desert rose up with walls of draped sand that made the cliffs, the hills, and even the sky seem small. The Desert stood upright. Just like he had dreamed it from his balcony windows before, it rose tall and right in front of him. It created sudden barriers to the stars that enclosed what he saw behind walls that no amount of time could ever reduce to dust.
He himself, in some curious fashion, lay just outside, viewing it apart. As from a pinnacle, he peered within—peered down with straining eyes into the vast picture-gallery Memory threw abruptly open. And the picture spaced its noble outline thus against the very stars. He gazed between columns, that supported the sky itself, like pillars of sand that swept across the field of vanished years. Sand poured and streamed aside, laying bare the Past.
He was lying just outside, looking in from a unique angle. From a high point, he looked inside—straining his eyes to see into the vast gallery of memories that suddenly opened up. The image framed its impressive shape against the stars. He gazed between the columns that held up the sky, like pillars of sand sweeping across the landscape of lost years. Sand poured away, revealing the Past.
For down the enormous vista into which he gazed, as into an avenue running a million miles towards a tiny point, he saw this moving Thing that came towards him, shaking loose the countless veils of sand the ages had swathed about it. The Ka of buried Egypt wakened out of sleep. She had heard the potent summons of her old, time-honoured ritual. She came. She stretched forth an arm towards the worshippers who evoked her. Out of the Desert, out of the leagues of sand, out of the immeasurable wilderness which was her mummied Form and Body, she rose and came. And this fragment of her he would actually see—this little portion that was obedient to the stammered and broken ceremonial. The partial revelation he would witness—yet so vast, even this little bit of it, that it came as a Procession and a host.
For down the vast landscape he looked, like an avenue stretching a million miles toward a tiny point, he saw this moving thing coming towards him, shaking off the countless layers of sand that the ages had covered it with. The spirit of ancient Egypt stirred from its slumber. It had heard the powerful call of its old, time-honored ritual. It approached. It reached out an arm to the worshippers who had summoned it. From the Desert, from the stretches of sand, from the endless wilderness that was its mummified form and body, it rose and came. And this fragment of it he would actually see—this small part that responded to the halting and fragmented ritual. The partial revelation he would witness—yet so immense, even this little piece of it, that it appeared as a procession and a multitude.
For a moment there was nothing. And then the voice of the woman rose in a resounding cry that filled the Wadi to its furthest precipices, before it died away again to silence. That a human voice could produce such volume, accent, depth, seemed half incredible. The walls of towering sand swallowed it instantly. But the Procession of life, needing a group, a host, an army for its physical expression, reached at that moment the nearer end of the huge avenue. It touched the Present; it entered the world of men.
For a moment, there was nothing. Then, the woman’s voice rose in a powerful cry that echoed throughout the Wadi, reaching its farthest edges before fading back into silence. It seemed almost unbelievable that a human voice could make such sound, tone, and depth. The towering sand walls absorbed it instantly. But the Procession of life, needing a group, a crowd, an army for its physical expression, at that moment reached the closer end of the vast avenue. It touched the Present; it entered the world of humans.
X
The entire range of Henriot's experience, read, imagined, dreamed, then fainted into unreality before the sheer wonder of what he saw. In the brief interval it takes to snap the fingers the climax was thus so hurriedly upon him. And, through it all, he was clearly aware of the pair of little human figures, man and woman, standing erect and commanding at the centre—knew, too, that she directed and controlled, while he in some secondary fashion supported her—and ever watched. But both were dim, dropped somewhere into a lesser scale. It was the knowledge of their presence, however, that alone enabled him to keep his powers in hand at all. But for these two human beings there within possible reach, he must have closed his eyes and swooned.
The whole range of Henriot's experiences—reading, imagining, dreaming—suddenly faded into nothingness in front of the incredible sight before him. In the blink of an eye, the climax arrived so quickly. Through it all, he was aware of the two small human figures, a man and a woman, standing tall and commanding at the center—he knew she was directing and controlling, while he supported her in a secondary role and kept watching. But both figures were vague, dropped into a lesser reality. It was the knowledge of their presence that allowed him to maintain control. Without these two human beings within reach, he would have had to close his eyes and faint.
For a tempest that seemed to toss loose stars about the sky swept round about him, pouring up the pillared avenue in front of the procession. A blast of giant energy, of liberty, came through. Forwards and backwards, circling spirally about him like a whirlwind, came this revival of Life that sought to dip itself once more in matter and in form. It came to the accurate out-line of its form they had traced for it. He held his mind steady enough to realise that it was akin to what men call a "descent" of some "spiritual movement" that wakens a body of believers into faith—a race, an entire nation; only that he experienced it in this brief, concentrated form before it has scattered down into ten thousand hearts. Here he knew its source and essence, behind the veil. Crudely, unmanageable as yet, he felt it, rushing loose behind appearances. There was this amazing impact of a twisting, swinging force that stormed down as though it would bend and coil the very ribs of the old stubborn hills. It sought to warm them with the stress of its own irresistible life-stream, to beat them into shape, and make pliable their obstinate resistance. Through all things the impulse poured and spread, like fire at white heat.
For a storm that seemed to throw stars all over the sky surrounded him, rushing up the columned path in front of the procession. A surge of powerful energy, of freedom, came through. It moved forward and backward, swirling around him like a whirlwind, this revival of Life that wanted to immerse itself once again in matter and form. It came to the precise outline of its shape they had drawn for it. He managed to keep his mind steady enough to realize that it was similar to what people call a "descent" of some "spiritual movement" that awakens a group of believers into faith—a race, an entire nation; only he felt it in this brief, concentrated form before it scattered into ten thousand hearts. Here he understood its source and essence, behind the curtain. Roughly and not yet controllable, he sensed it, rushing freely behind appearances. There was this incredible impact of a twisting, swinging force that crashed down as if it would bend and twist the very bones of the old stubborn hills. It aimed to warm them with the pressure of its own unstoppable life force, to shape them, and to make their stubborn resistance flexible. Through everything, the impulse surged and spread, like fire at white heat.
Yet nothing visible came as yet, no alteration in the actual landscape, no sign of change in things familiar to his eyes, while impetus thus fought against inertia. He perceived nothing form-al. Calm and untouched himself, he lay outside the circle of evocation, watching, waiting, scarcely daring to breathe, yet well aware that any minute the scene would transfer itself from memory that was subjective to matter that was objective.
Yet nothing visible appeared yet, no change in the actual landscape, no sign of change in the things familiar to him, while momentum fought against inertia. He noticed nothing in particular. Calm and untouched himself, he lay outside the circle of creation, watching, waiting, hardly daring to breathe, yet fully aware that any minute the scene would shift from subjective memory to objective reality.
And then, in a flash, the bridge was built, and the transfer was accomplished. How or where he did not see, he could not tell. It was there before he knew it—there before his normal, earthly sight. He saw it, as he saw the hands he was holding stupidly up to shield his face. For this terrific release of force long held back, long stored up, latent for centuries, came pouring down the empty Wadi bed prepared for its reception. Through stones and sand and boulders it came in an impetuous hurricane of power. The liberation of its life appalled him. All that was free, untied, responded instantly like chaff; loose objects fled towards it; there was a yielding in the hills and precipices; and even in the mass of Desert which provided their foundation. The hinges of the Sand went creaking in the night. It shaped for itself a bodily outline.
And then, in an instant, the bridge was built, and the transfer was completed. He couldn’t say how or where; it was there before he realized it—right before his regular, earthly sight. He saw it, just as he saw the hands he was foolishly holding up to shield his face. This incredible release of force, held back for so long and stored up, dormant for centuries, came rushing down the empty Wadi bed prepared for it. It surged through stones, sand, and boulders like an uncontrollable hurricane of power. The sheer force of its life shocked him. Everything that was free and untethered responded instantly like chaff; loose objects raced toward it; there was a shift in the hills and cliffs; and even in the vast expanse of the Desert that formed their base. The hinges of the Sand creaked in the night. It took on a physical shape.
Yet, most strangely, nothing definitely moved. How could he express the violent contradiction? For the immobility was apparent only—a sham, a counterfeit; while behind it the essential being of these things did rush and shift and alter. He saw the two things side by side: the outer immobility the senses commonly agree upon, and this amazing flying-out of their inner, invisible substance towards the vortex of attracting life that sucked them in. For stubborn matter turned docile before the stress of this returning life, taught somewhere to be plastic. It was being moulded into an approach to bodily outline. A mobile elasticity invaded rigid substance. The two officiating human beings, safe at the stationary centre, and himself, just outside the circle of operation, alone remained untouched and unaffected. But a few feet in any direction, for any one of them, meant—instantaneous death. They would be absorbed into the vortex, mere corpuscles pressed into the service of this sphere of action of a mighty Body....
Yet, strangely, nothing really moved. How could he convey the intense contradiction? The stillness was only surface-level—a facade, a fake; beneath it, the true essence of these things was rushing, shifting, and changing. He saw both aspects clearly: the outer stillness that most people agree on, and this incredible surge of their inner, unseen substance toward the life force that pulled them in. Stubborn matter became pliable under the pressure of this returning life, somehow learned to be malleable. It was being shaped into a semblance of a physical form. A flexible quality penetrated the rigid substance. The two humans overseeing everything, safe at the unmoving center, and he, just outside the area of action, remained untouched and unaffected. But just a few feet in any direction for any of them meant—instantaneous death. They would be drawn into the vortex, mere particles caught up in the workings of a powerful Body....
How these perceptions reached him with such conviction, Henriot could never say. He knew it, because he felt it. Something fell about him from the sky that already paled towards the dawn. The stars themselves, it seemed, contributed some part of the terrific, flowing impulse that conquered matter and shaped itself this physical expression.
How these perceptions reached him with such certainty, Henriot could never explain. He knew it because he felt it. Something descended upon him from the sky that was already dimming as dawn approached. The stars themselves, it seemed, played a role in the powerful, flowing energy that overcame matter and took on this physical form.
Then, before he was able to fashion any preconceived idea of what visible form this potent life might assume, he was aware of further change. It came at the briefest possible interval after the beginning—this certainty that, to and fro about him, as yet however indeterminate, passed Magnitudes that were stupendous as the desert. There was beauty in them too, though a terrible beauty hardly of this earth at all. A fragment of old Egypt had returned—a little portion of that vast Body of Belief that once was Egypt. Evoked by the worship of one human heart, passionately sincere, the Ka of Egypt stepped back to visit the material it once informed—the Sand.
Then, before he could form any clear idea of what this powerful life might look like, he noticed more changes. It happened just a moment after it all started—this realization that, all around him, as unclear as it was, there were immense forces that were as vast as the desert. There was beauty in them too, though a haunting beauty that felt almost otherworldly. A piece of ancient Egypt had returned—a small part of that grand Body of Belief that once defined Egypt. Inspired by the devotion of one genuine heart, the essence of Egypt came back to reconnect with the material it once animated—the Sand.
Yet only a portion came. Henriot clearly realised that. It stretched forth an arm. Finding no mass of worshippers through whom it might express itself completely, it pressed inanimate matter thus into its service.
Yet only a small part came. Henriot clearly understood that. It reached out an arm. Finding no crowd of worshippers through whom it could fully express itself, it pushed inanimate objects into its service.
Here was the beginning the woman had spoken of—little opening clue. Entire reconstruction lay perhaps beyond.
Here was the beginning the woman had talked about—small opening clue. Complete reconstruction might be beyond reach.
And Henriot next realised that these Magnitudes in which this group-energy sought to clothe itself as visible form, were curiously familiar. It was not a new thing that he would see. Booming softly as they dropped downwards through the sky, with a motion the size of them rendered delusive, they trooped up the Avenue towards the central point that summoned them. He realised the giant flock of them—descent of fearful beauty—outlining a type of life denied to the world for ages, countless as this sand that blew against his skin. Careering over the waste of Desert moved the army of dark Splendours, that dwarfed any organic structure called a body men have ever known. He recognised them, cold in him of death, though the outlines reared higher than the pyramids, and towered up to hide whole groups of stars. Yes, he recognised them in their partial revelation, though he never saw the monstrous host complete. But, one of them, he realised, posing its eternal riddle to the sands, had of old been glimpsed sufficiently to seize its form in stone,—yet poorly seized, as a doll may stand for the dignity of a human being or a child's toy represent an engine that draws trains....
And then Henriot realized that these shapes, which this group energy was trying to display as visible forms, felt oddly familiar. It wasn’t something new he was seeing. Softly booming as they fell through the sky, their size created an illusion, and they moved up the Avenue toward the central point that called them. He recognized the massive flock—descending with a frightening beauty—defining a type of life that had been denied to the world for ages, as numerous as the sand blowing against his skin. An army of dark splendors raced over the barren desert, dwarfing any physical form humans have ever known. He recognized them, cold within him like death, even though their outlines rose higher than the pyramids and towered up to obscure entire groups of stars. Yes, he acknowledged them in their partial display, even though he never saw the monstrous host in its entirety. But one of them, he realized, presenting its eternal mystery to the sands, had once been glimpsed enough to capture its form in stone—yet poorly captured, like a doll might represent the dignity of a human being or a child's toy might symbolize an engine that pulls trains.
And he knelt there on his narrow ledge, the world of men forgotten. The power that caught him was too great a thing for wonder or for fear; he even felt no awe. Sensation of any kind that can be named or realised left him utterly. He forgot himself. He merely watched. The glory numbed him. Block and pencil, as the reason of his presence there at all, no longer existed....
And he knelt there on his narrow ledge, the world of people forgotten. The force that held him was too immense to be wondered at or feared; he didn't even feel awed. Any sensations that could be named or understood completely left him. He lost track of himself. He just watched. The beauty left him speechless. The reasons for his being there, block and pencil, no longer mattered...
Yet one small link remained that held him to some kind of consciousness of earthly things: he never lost sight of this—that, being just outside the circle of evocation, he was safe, and that the man and woman, being stationary in its untouched centre, were also safe. But—that a movement of six inches in any direction meant for any one of them instant death.
Yet one small connection still kept him aware of earthly matters: he never forgot that being just outside the reach of influence meant he was safe, and the man and woman, staying still in its untouched center, were also safe. But—any movement of six inches in any direction would mean instant death for any one of them.
What was it, then, that suddenly strengthened this solitary link so that the chain tautened and he felt the pull of it? Henriot could not say. He came back with the rush of a descending drop to the realisation—dimly, vaguely, as from great distance—that he was with these two, now at this moment, in the Wadi Hof, and that the cold of dawn was in the air about him. The chill breath of the Desert made him shiver.
What was it, then, that suddenly made this lonely connection stronger, pulling on the chain? Henriot couldn’t say. He returned to the realization—faintly, vaguely, as if from far away—that he was with these two people, right now, in the Wadi Hof, and that the morning chill was in the air around him. The cold breath of the Desert made him shiver.
But at first, so deeply had his soul been dipped in this fragment of ancient worship, he could remember nothing more. Somewhere lay a little spot of streets and houses; its name escaped him. He had once been there; there were many people, but insignificant people. Who were they? And what had he to do with them? All recent memories had been drowned in the tide that flooded him from an immeasurable Past.
But at first, his soul was so immersed in this piece of ancient worship that he couldn't remember anything else. Somewhere there was a small area of streets and houses; he couldn't recall its name. He had been there once; there were many people, but they seemed unimportant. Who were they? And what did he have to do with them? All his recent memories had been washed away by the flood of an endless past.
And who were they—these two beings, standing on the white floor of sand below him? For a long time he could not recover their names. Yet he remembered them; and, thus robbed of association that names bring, he saw them for an instant naked, and knew that one of them was evil. One of them was vile. Blackness touched the picture there. The man, his name still out of reach, was sinister, impure and dark at the heart. And for this reason the evocation had been partial only. The admixture of an evil motive was the flaw that marred complete success.
And who were these two beings standing on the white sandy floor below him? For a long time, he couldn’t recall their names. Yet, he remembered them; and without the associations that names provide, he saw them briefly as they truly were and knew that one of them was evil. One was vile. Darkness tainted the image. The man, whose name still eluded him, was sinister, impure, and dark at heart. Because of this, the evocation was only partial. The mix of an evil motive was the flaw that prevented complete success.
The names then flashed upon him—Lady Statham—Richard Vance.
The names suddenly came to him—Lady Statham—Richard Vance.
Vance! With a horrid drop from splendour into something mean and sordid, Henriot felt the pain of it. The motive of the man was so insignificant, his purpose so atrocious. More and more, with the name, came back—his first repugnance, fear, suspicion. And human terror caught him. He shrieked. But, as in nightmare, no sound escaped his lips. He tried to move; a wild desire to interfere, to protect, to prevent, flung him forward—close to the dizzy edge of the gulf below. But his muscles refused obedience to the will. The paralysis of common fear rooted him to the rocks.
Vance! With a terrible fall from greatness into something petty and grim, Henriot felt the sting of it. The man's motive was so trivial, his purpose so horrific. More and more, with the name came back—his initial disgust, fear, suspicion. And human dread seized him. He screamed. But, like in a nightmare, no sound came from his lips. He tried to move; a frantic urge to intervene, to protect, to stop him drove him forward—right to the dizzy edge of the chasm below. But his muscles wouldn't obey his commands. The paralysis of pure fear held him to the rocks.
But the sudden change of focus instantly destroyed the picture; and so vehement was the fall from glory into meanness, that it dislocated the machinery of clairvoyant vision. The inner perception clouded and grew dark. Outer and inner mingled in violent, inextricable confusion. The wrench seemed almost physical. It happened all at once, retreat and continuation for a moment somehow combined. And, if he did not definitely see the awful thing, at least he was aware that it had come to pass. He knew it as positively as though his eye were glued against a magnifying lens in the stillness of some laboratory. He witnessed it.
But the sudden shift in focus instantly ruined the image; and the drop from greatness to insignificance was so intense that it disrupted the entire mechanism of his clairvoyant vision. His inner perception became clouded and dark. The outside and inside blended in a chaotic, tangled mess. The jolt felt almost physical. It all happened at once, with retreat and continuation somehow merging for a moment. And while he didn't clearly see the horrifying thing, he at least knew it had happened. He was aware of it as surely as if his eye were pressed against a magnifying lens in the quiet of a laboratory. He witnessed it.
The supreme moment of evocation was close. Life, through that awful sandy vortex, whirled and raged. Loose particles showered and pelted, caught by the draught of vehement life that moulded the substance of the Desert into imperial outline—when, suddenly, shot the little evil thing across that marred and blasted it.
The peak moment of realization was near. Life, through that terrible sandy whirlwind, spun and stormed. Loose particles rained down and battered, swept up by the force of intense life that shaped the essence of the Desert into grand forms—when, all of a sudden, the little wicked thing darted across and tainted it.
Into the whirlpool flew forward a particle of material that was a human being. And the Group-Soul caught and used it.
Into the whirlpool rushed a piece of matter that was a human being. And the Group-Soul seized and utilized it.
The actual accomplishment Henriot did not claim to see. He was a witness, but a witness who could give no evidence. Whether the woman was pushed of set intention, or whether some detail of sound and pattern was falsely used to effect the terrible result, he was helpless to determine. He pretends no itemised account. She went. In one second, with appalling swiftness, she disappeared, swallowed out of space and time within that awful maw—one little corpuscle among a million through which the Life, now stalking the Desert wastes, moulded itself a troop-like Body. Sand took her.
The actual achievement was something Henriot didn’t claim to have witnessed. He was there, but he couldn’t provide any proof. Whether the woman was pushed with intent, or if some sound or pattern was misused to cause the terrible outcome, he couldn’t determine. He offers no detailed account. She vanished. In an instant, with terrifying speed, she was gone, swallowed by that dreadful abyss—just one tiny speck among millions through which Life, now moving through the barren wasteland, shaped itself into a collective form. Sand consumed her.
There followed emptiness—a hush of unutterable silence, stillness, peace. Movement and sound instantly retired whence they came. The avenues of Memory closed; the Splendours all went down into their sandy tombs....
There was a moment of emptiness—a quiet, unspoken silence, stillness, peace. All movement and sound quickly faded away. The paths of Memory shut down; all the Glories sank into their sandy graves....
The moon had sunk into the Libyan wilderness; the eastern sky was red. The dawn drew out that wondrous sweetness of the Desert, which is as sister to the sweetness that the moonlight brings. The Desert settled back to sleep, huge, unfathomable, charged to the brim with life that watches, waits, and yet conceals itself behind the ruins of apparent desolation. And the Wadi, empty at his feet, filled slowly with the gentle little winds that bring the sunrise.
The moon had disappeared into the Libyan wilderness; the eastern sky was turning red. The dawn brought out that amazing sweetness of the Desert, which is similar to the sweetness that moonlight offers. The Desert settled back into slumber, vast, mysterious, full of life that observes, waits, and yet hides itself behind the remnants of what looks like desolation. And the Wadi, empty at his feet, slowly filled with the gentle winds that signal the sunrise.
Then, across the pale glimmering of sand, Henriot saw a figure moving. It came quickly towards him, yet unsteadily, and with a hurry that was ugly. Vance was on the way to fetch him. And the horror of the man's approach struck him like a hammer in the face. He closed his eyes, sinking back to hide.
Then, across the pale, shimmering sand, Henriot saw someone moving. The figure came quickly towards him, but unsteadily, with an awkward urgency. Vance was on his way to get him. The dread of the man's approach hit him like a hammer to the face. He shut his eyes, sinking back to hide.
But, before he swooned, there reached him the clatter of the
murderer's tread as he began to climb over the splintered rocks, and
the faint echo of his voice, calling him by name—falsely and in
pretence—for help.
But before he fainted, he heard the sound of the murderer’s footsteps as he started to climb over the broken rocks, and the faint echo of his voice, falsely and pretending to call him by name—for help.
THE END
[Transcriber's Note: In chapter IX of the story Sand, "indescriable" was corrected to "indescribable."]
[Transcriber's Note: In chapter IX of the story Sand, "indescriable" was corrected to "indescribable."]
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