This is a modern-English version of New Grub Street, originally written by Gissing, George. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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NEW GRUB STREET



By George Gissing



1891















NEW GRUB STREET





PART I.





CHAPTER I. A MAN OF HIS DAY

As the Milvains sat down to breakfast the clock of Wattleborough parish church struck eight; it was two miles away, but the strokes were borne very distinctly on the west wind this autumn morning. Jasper, listening before he cracked an egg, remarked with cheerfulness:

As the Milvains sat down to breakfast, the clock at Wattleborough parish church struck eight. It was two miles away, but the chimes carried clearly on the west wind this autumn morning. Jasper, listening before he cracked an egg, cheerfully remarked:

‘There’s a man being hanged in London at this moment.’

‘There’s a man being hanged in London right now.’

‘Surely it isn’t necessary to let us know that,’ said his sister Maud, coldly.

“Surely, we don’t need to be told that,” Maud said coldly.

‘And in such a tone, too!’ protested his sister Dora.

‘And in that tone, too!’ protested his sister Dora.

‘Who is it?’ inquired Mrs Milvain, looking at her son with pained forehead.

"Who is it?" Mrs. Milvain asked, looking at her son with a pained expression.

‘I don’t know. It happened to catch my eye in the paper yesterday that someone was to be hanged at Newgate this morning. There’s a certain satisfaction in reflecting that it is not oneself.’

‘I don’t know. I saw in the paper yesterday that someone was going to be hanged at Newgate this morning. There’s a certain satisfaction in realizing that it’s not happening to you.’

‘That’s your selfish way of looking at things,’ said Maud.

"That’s your selfish way of seeing things," Maud said.

‘Well,’ returned Jasper, ‘seeing that the fact came into my head, what better use could I make of it? I could curse the brutality of an age that sanctioned such things; or I could grow doleful over the misery of the poor fellow. But those emotions would be as little profitable to others as to myself. It just happened that I saw the thing in a light of consolation. Things are bad with me, but not so bad as THAT. I might be going out between Jack Ketch and the Chaplain to be hanged; instead of that, I am eating a really fresh egg, and very excellent buttered toast, with coffee as good as can be reasonably expected in this part of the world.—(Do try boiling the milk, mother.)—The tone in which I spoke was spontaneous; being so, it needs no justification.’

‘Well,’ Jasper replied, ‘since this thought popped into my head, what better way could I use it? I could complain about the cruelty of a time that allowed such things; or I could feel sad for the poor guy. But those feelings wouldn’t help anyone, including myself. I just happened to see it as a source of comfort. Things are tough for me, but not as bad as THAT. I could be heading out to face the noose with Jack Ketch and the Chaplain; instead, I’m enjoying a really fresh egg and some excellent buttered toast, with coffee that’s as good as you can reasonably expect around here.—(Do try boiling the milk, mom.)—The way I spoke was natural; being natural, it needs no explanation.’

He was a young man of five-and-twenty, well built, though a trifle meagre, and of pale complexion. He had hair that was very nearly black, and a clean-shaven face, best described, perhaps, as of bureaucratic type. The clothes he wore were of expensive material, but had seen a good deal of service. His stand-up collar curled over at the corners, and his necktie was lilac-sprigged.

He was a 25-year-old man, fit but a bit thin, with a pale complexion. His hair was almost black, and he had a clean-shaven face that could be described as rather bureaucratic. The clothes he wore were made of expensive fabric but looked well-worn. His stand-up collar curled at the edges, and his necktie had a lilac pattern.

Of the two sisters, Dora, aged twenty, was the more like him in visage, but she spoke with a gentleness which seemed to indicate a different character. Maud, who was twenty-two, had bold, handsome features, and very beautiful hair of russet tinge; hers was not a face that readily smiled. Their mother had the look and manners of an invalid, though she sat at table in the ordinary way. All were dressed as ladies, though very simply. The room, which looked upon a small patch of garden, was furnished with old-fashioned comfort, only one or two objects suggesting the decorative spirit of 1882.

Of the two sisters, Dora, who was twenty, looked more like him, but she spoke with a softness that suggested a different personality. Maud, aged twenty-two, had striking features and beautiful russet hair; her face wasn’t one that smiled easily. Their mother had the appearance and demeanor of an invalid, even though she sat at the table like everyone else. They were all dressed as ladies, though quite simply. The room, which overlooked a small patch of garden, was furnished with old-fashioned comfort, with only a couple of items hinting at the decorative style of 1882.

‘A man who comes to be hanged,’ pursued Jasper, impartially, ‘has the satisfaction of knowing that he has brought society to its last resource. He is a man of such fatal importance that nothing will serve against him but the supreme effort of law. In a way, you know, that is success.’

‘A man who is about to be hanged,’ continued Jasper, fairly, ‘has the reassurance of knowing that he has pushed society to its breaking point. He is someone of such grave significance that nothing will work against him except the utmost force of the law. In a way, you see, that’s a form of success.’

‘In a way,’ repeated Maud, scornfully.

“In a way,” Maud repeated, with disdain.

‘Suppose we talk of something else,’ suggested Dora, who seemed to fear a conflict between her sister and Jasper.

‘How about we talk about something else?’ suggested Dora, who seemed to worry about a clash between her sister and Jasper.

Almost at the same moment a diversion was afforded by the arrival of the post. There was a letter for Mrs Milvain, a letter and newspaper for her son. Whilst the girls and their mother talked of unimportant news communicated by the one correspondent, Jasper read the missive addressed to himself.

Almost at the same moment, there was a distraction with the arrival of the mail. There was a letter for Mrs. Milvain and a letter along with a newspaper for her son. While the girls and their mother chatted about trivial news from one correspondent, Jasper read the letter addressed to him.

‘This is from Reardon,’ he remarked to the younger girl. ‘Things are going badly with him. He is just the kind of fellow to end by poisoning or shooting himself.’

‘This is from Reardon,’ he said to the younger girl. ‘Things are going badly for him. He’s exactly the type to end up poisoning or shooting himself.’

‘But why?’

'But why?'

‘Can’t get anything done; and begins to be sore troubled on his wife’s account.’

‘Can't get anything done and starts to feel really worried about his wife.’

‘Is he ill?’

"Is he sick?"

‘Overworked, I suppose. But it’s just what I foresaw. He isn’t the kind of man to keep up literary production as a paying business. In favourable circumstances he might write a fairly good book once every two or three years. The failure of his last depressed him, and now he is struggling hopelessly to get another done before the winter season. Those people will come to grief.’

‘Overworked, I guess. But it’s exactly what I expected. He’s not the type of person who can maintain a steady output in writing as a way to earn a living. Under the right conditions, he might write a decent book once every two or three years. The failure of his last one got him down, and now he’s desperately trying to finish another one before winter. Those people are going to fail.’

‘The enjoyment with which he anticipates it!’ murmured Maud, looking at her mother.

"The excitement he feels about it!" Maud murmured, glancing at her mother.

‘Not at all,’ said Jasper. ‘It’s true I envied the fellow, because he persuaded a handsome girl to believe in him and share his risks, but I shall be very sorry if he goes to the—to the dogs. He’s my one serious friend. But it irritates me to see a man making such large demands upon fortune. One must be more modest—as I am. Because one book had a sort of success he imagined his struggles were over. He got a hundred pounds for “On Neutral Ground,” and at once counted on a continuance of payments in geometrical proportion. I hinted to him that he couldn’t keep it up, and he smiled with tolerance, no doubt thinking “He judges me by himself.” But I didn’t do anything of the kind.—(Toast, please, Dora.)—I’m a stronger man than Reardon; I can keep my eyes open, and wait.’

“Not at all,” said Jasper. “It’s true I envied the guy because he managed to convince a beautiful girl to trust him and share his risks, but I’ll really be sad if he ends up ruining himself. He’s my only real friend. But it annoys me to see someone making such big demands on fate. You have to be more realistic—like I am. Just because one book did somewhat well, he thought his struggles were over. He got a hundred pounds for ‘On Neutral Ground,’ and right away he expected the payments to keep coming in massive amounts. I suggested to him that he couldn’t keep it up, and he smiled patiently, probably thinking, ‘He judges me by himself.’ But that’s not true.—(Toast, please, Dora.)—I’m stronger than Reardon; I can stay alert and wait.”

‘Is his wife the kind of person to grumble?’ asked Mrs Milvain.

‘Is his wife the type to complain?’ asked Mrs. Milvain.

‘Well, yes, I suspect that she is. The girl wasn’t content to go into modest rooms—they must furnish a flat. I rather wonder he didn’t start a carriage for her. Well, his next book brought only another hundred, and now, even if he finishes this one, it’s very doubtful if he’ll get as much. “The Optimist” was practically a failure.’

‘Well, yes, I think she is. The girl wasn’t satisfied with modest rooms—they had to have a whole flat. I’m surprised he didn’t get her a carriage. Anyway, his next book only brought in another hundred, and now, even if he finishes this one, it’s questionable whether he’ll make that much. “The Optimist” was pretty much a failure.’

‘Mr Yule may leave them some money,’ said Dora.

‘Mr. Yule might leave them some money,’ said Dora.

‘Yes. But he may live another ten years, and he would see them both in Marylebone Workhouse before he advanced sixpence, or I’m much mistaken in him. Her mother has only just enough to live upon; can’t possibly help them. Her brother wouldn’t give or lend twopence halfpenny.’

‘Yes. But he might live another ten years, and he would see them both in the Marylebone Workhouse before he gave a penny, or I’m really wrong about him. Her mother has barely enough to get by; she can’t possibly help them. Her brother wouldn’t give or lend a dime.’

‘Has Mr Reardon no relatives!’

"Does Mr. Reardon have no relatives?"

‘I never heard him make mention of a single one. No, he has done the fatal thing. A man in his position, if he marry at all, must take either a work-girl or an heiress, and in many ways the work-girl is preferable.’

‘I never heard him mention even one. No, he has made a terrible mistake. A man in his position, if he chooses to marry, should either take a working-class girl or a wealthy heiress, and in many ways, the working-class girl is the better choice.’

‘How can you say that?’ asked Dora. ‘You never cease talking about the advantages of money.’

‘How can you say that?’ asked Dora. ‘You never stop talking about the benefits of money.’

‘Oh, I don’t mean that for ME the work-girl would be preferable; by no means; but for a man like Reardon. He is absurd enough to be conscientious, likes to be called an “artist,” and so on. He might possibly earn a hundred and fifty a year if his mind were at rest, and that would be enough if he had married a decent little dressmaker. He wouldn’t desire superfluities, and the quality of his work would be its own reward. As it is, he’s ruined.’

‘Oh, I don’t mean that I would prefer the working girl; not at all; but for a guy like Reardon. He’s ridiculous enough to have a conscience, likes to be seen as an “artist,” and all that. He might be able to earn about one hundred and fifty a year if he weren’t so stressed, and that would be enough if he married a good little dressmaker. He wouldn’t want extra stuff, and the quality of his work would be its own reward. As it stands, he’s finished.’

‘And I repeat,’ said Maud, ‘that you enjoy the prospect.’

‘And I’ll say it again,’ Maud said, ‘you’re looking forward to it.’

‘Nothing of the kind. If I seem to speak exultantly it’s only because my intellect enjoys the clear perception of a fact.—A little marmalade, Dora; the home-made, please.’

‘Nothing of the sort. If I seem to be speaking excitedly it’s just because my mind appreciates the clear understanding of a fact.—Just a little marmalade, Dora; the homemade kind, please.’

‘But this is very sad, Jasper,’ said Mrs Milvain, in her half-absent way. ‘I suppose they can’t even go for a holiday?’

‘But this is really sad, Jasper,’ said Mrs. Milvain, in her somewhat distracted way. ‘I guess they can’t even take a vacation?’

‘Quite out of the question.’

'Absolutely not.'

‘Not even if you invited them to come here for a week?’

‘Not even if you asked them to come here for a week?’

‘Now, mother,’ urged Maud, ‘THAT’S impossible, you know very well.’

‘Now, Mom,’ urged Maud, ‘THAT’S impossible, you know it.’

‘I thought we might make an effort, dear. A holiday might mean everything to him.’

‘I thought we could try, dear. A vacation could mean everything to him.’

‘No, no,’ fell from Jasper, thoughtfully. ‘I don’t think you’d get along very well with Mrs Reardon; and then, if her uncle is coming to Mr Yule’s, you know, that would be awkward.’

‘No, no,’ Jasper said thoughtfully. ‘I don’t think you’d get along very well with Mrs. Reardon; and then, if her uncle is coming to Mr. Yule’s, you know, that would be awkward.’

‘I suppose it would; though those people would only stay a day or two, Miss Harrow said.’

‘I guess it would; but those people would only stick around for a day or two,’ Miss Harrow said.

‘Why can’t Mr Yule make them friends, those two lots of people?’ asked Dora. ‘You say he’s on good terms with both.’

‘Why can’t Mr. Yule get those two groups of people to be friends?’ asked Dora. ‘You say he gets along well with both.’

‘I suppose he thinks it’s no business of his.’

‘I guess he thinks it’s none of his business.’

Jasper mused over the letter from his friend.

Jasper thought about the letter from his friend.

‘Ten years hence,’ he said, ‘if Reardon is still alive, I shall be lending him five-pound notes.’

‘Ten years from now,’ he said, ‘if Reardon is still alive, I’ll be lending him fifty-pound notes.’

A smile of irony rose to Maud’s lips. Dora laughed.

A wry smile appeared on Maud’s face. Dora laughed.

‘To be sure! To be sure!’ exclaimed their brother. ‘You have no faith. But just understand the difference between a man like Reardon and a man like me. He is the old type of unpractical artist; I am the literary man of 1882. He won’t make concessions, or rather, he can’t make them; he can’t supply the market. I—well, you may say that at present I do nothing; but that’s a great mistake, I am learning my business. Literature nowadays is a trade. Putting aside men of genius, who may succeed by mere cosmic force, your successful man of letters is your skilful tradesman. He thinks first and foremost of the markets; when one kind of goods begins to go off slackly, he is ready with something new and appetising. He knows perfectly all the possible sources of income. Whatever he has to sell he’ll get payment for it from all sorts of various quarters; none of your unpractical selling for a lump sum to a middleman who will make six distinct profits. Now, look you: if I had been in Reardon’s place, I’d have made four hundred at least out of “The Optimist”; I should have gone shrewdly to work with magazines and newspapers and foreign publishers, and—all sorts of people. Reardon can’t do that kind of thing, he’s behind his age; he sells a manuscript as if he lived in Sam Johnson’s Grub Street. But our Grub Street of to-day is quite a different place: it is supplied with telegraphic communication, it knows what literary fare is in demand in every part of the world, its inhabitants are men of business, however seedy.’

‘Of course! Of course!’ their brother exclaimed. ‘You have no belief in this. But just grasp the difference between a guy like Reardon and a guy like me. He represents the old-school impractical artist; I’m the writer of 1882. He won’t make compromises, or rather, he can’t; he can’t meet the market’s needs. I—well, you might say that right now I’m doing nothing; but that’s a big mistake, I’m learning my trade. Literature nowadays is a business. Setting aside genius, who might succeed by sheer force, today’s successful writer is a skilled tradesperson. He thinks first and foremost about the markets; when a certain type of product starts to sell poorly, he’s ready with something new and appealing. He knows all the potential sources of income. Whatever he’s selling, he’ll get paid for it from a variety of places; none of this impractical selling for a one-time fee to a middleman who’ll pocket all the profits. Now, look: if I’d been in Reardon’s shoes, I’d have made at least four hundred from “The Optimist”; I would have approached magazines, newspapers, foreign publishers, and all kinds of people with strategy. Reardon can’t do that; he’s out of touch with the times; he sells a manuscript as if he lived in Sam Johnson’s Grub Street. But our Grub Street today is a totally different place: it has telegraphic communication, it knows what literary content is in demand all over the world, and its residents are business-minded, no matter how shabby they might look.’

‘It sounds ignoble,’ said Maud.

"It sounds unrefined," said Maud.

‘I have nothing to do with that, my dear girl. Now, as I tell you, I am slowly, but surely, learning the business. My line won’t be novels; I have failed in that direction, I’m not cut out for the work. It’s a pity, of course; there’s a great deal of money in it. But I have plenty of scope. In ten years, I repeat, I shall be making my thousand a year.’

‘I have nothing to do with that, my dear girl. Now, as I’m telling you, I am slowly but surely learning the business. My focus won’t be on novels; I’ve failed in that area, I’m just not made for that kind of work. It’s a shame, of course; there’s a lot of money in it. But I have plenty of opportunities. In ten years, I’ll be making my thousand a year.’

‘I don’t remember that you stated the exact sum before,’ Maud observed.

‘I don’t remember you mentioning the exact amount before,’ Maud said.

‘Let it pass. And to those who have shall be given. When I have a decent income of my own, I shall marry a woman with an income somewhat larger, so that casualties may be provided for.’

‘Let it go. And to those who have, more will be given. When I have a decent income of my own, I’ll marry a woman with a somewhat larger income, so that we can handle any setbacks.’

Dora exclaimed, laughing:

Dora laughed, exclaiming:

‘It would amuse me very much if the Reardons got a lot of money at Mr Yule’s death—and that can’t be ten years off, I’m sure.’

“It would really entertain me if the Reardons inherited a lot of money when Mr. Yule passes away—and I’m sure that won't be more than ten years from now.”

‘I don’t see that there’s any chance of their getting much,’ replied Jasper, meditatively. ‘Mrs Reardon is only his niece. The man’s brother and sister will have the first helping, I suppose. And then, if it comes to the second generation, the literary Yule has a daughter, and by her being invited here I should think she’s the favourite niece. No, no; depend upon it they won’t get anything at all.’

‘I don’t think they’ll get much,’ Jasper replied thoughtfully. ‘Mrs. Reardon is just his niece. I assume the man’s brother and sister will get first dibs. And then, if it goes to the next generation, the literary Yule has a daughter, and since she’s been invited here, I’d say she’s the favorite niece. No, no; mark my words, they won’t get anything at all.’

Having finished his breakfast, he leaned back and began to unfold the London paper that had come by post.

Having finished his breakfast, he leaned back and started to open the London paper that had arrived in the mail.

‘Had Mr Reardon any hopes of that kind at the time of his marriage, do you think?’ inquired Mrs Milvain.

‘Do you think Mr. Reardon had any hopes like that when he got married?’ asked Mrs. Milvain.

‘Reardon? Good heavens, no! Would he were capable of such forethought!’

‘Reardon? Good heavens, no! I wish he were capable of such forethought!’

In a few minutes Jasper was left alone in the room. When the servant came to clear the table he strolled slowly away, humming a tune.

In a few minutes, Jasper was left alone in the room. When the servant came to clear the table, he walked away slowly, humming a tune.

The house was pleasantly situated by the roadside in a little village named Finden. Opposite stood the church, a plain, low, square-towered building. As it was cattle-market to-day in the town of Wattleborough, droves of beasts and sheep occasionally went by, or the rattle of a grazier’s cart sounded for a moment. On ordinary days the road saw few vehicles, and pedestrians were rare.

The house was nicely located by the roadside in a small village called Finden. Across from it was the church, a simple, low building with a square tower. Since today was cattle market day in the town of Wattleborough, herds of cattle and sheep occasionally passed by, or the sound of a grazer’s cart could be heard for a moment. On regular days, there were hardly any vehicles on the road, and pedestrians were uncommon.

Mrs Milvain and her daughters had lived here for the last seven years, since the death of the father, who was a veterinary surgeon. The widow enjoyed an annuity of two hundred and forty pounds, terminable with her life; the children had nothing of their own. Maud acted irregularly as a teacher of music; Dora had an engagement as visiting governess in a Wattleborough family. Twice a year, as a rule, Jasper came down from London to spend a fortnight with them; to-day marked the middle of his autumn visit, and the strained relations between him and his sisters which invariably made the second week rather trying for all in the house had already become noticeable.

Mrs. Milvain and her daughters had been living here for the past seven years, since their father, who was a vet, passed away. The widow received an annuity of two hundred forty pounds, ending when she died; the children had no money of their own. Maud occasionally worked as a music teacher, while Dora was a visiting governess for a family in Wattleborough. Typically, Jasper would come down from London twice a year to spend two weeks with them; today marked the halfway point of his autumn visit, and the tense relationship between him and his sisters, which always made the second week pretty difficult for everyone in the house, was already starting to show.

In the course of the morning Jasper had half an hour’s private talk with his mother, after which he set off to roam in the sunshine. Shortly after he had left the house, Maud, her domestic duties dismissed for the time, came into the parlour where Mrs Milvain was reclining on the sofa.

In the morning, Jasper had a half-hour private chat with his mom, after which he headed out to enjoy the sunshine. Shortly after he left the house, Maud, having set aside her household tasks for the moment, came into the living room where Mrs. Milvain was resting on the couch.

‘Jasper wants more money,’ said the mother, when Maud had sat in meditation for a few minutes.

‘Jasper wants more money,’ said the mother, when Maud had sat in thought for a few minutes.

‘Of course. I knew that. I hope you told him he couldn’t have it.’

‘Of course. I knew that. I hope you told him he couldn't have it.’

‘I really didn’t know what to say,’ returned Mrs Milvain, in a feeble tone of worry.

‘I really didn’t know what to say,’ replied Mrs. Milvain, in a weak tone of worry.

‘Then you must leave the matter to me, that’s all. There’s no money for him, and there’s an end of it.’

‘Then you just have to leave it to me, that’s all. There’s no money for him, and that’s final.’

Maud set her features in sullen determination. There was a brief silence.

Maud set her face in a sulky determination. There was a short pause.

‘What’s he to do, Maud?’

‘What’s he supposed to do, Maud?’

‘To do? How do other people do? What do Dora and I do?’

‘What should I do? How do other people do it? What do Dora and I do?’

‘You don’t earn enough for your support, my dear.’

‘You don’t earn enough to support yourself, my dear.’

‘Oh, well!’ broke from the girl. ‘Of course, if you grudge us our food and lodging—’

‘Oh, well!’ the girl exclaimed. ‘Of course, if you resent giving us food and a place to stay—’

‘Don’t be so quick-tempered. You know very well I am far from grudging you anything, dear. But I only meant to say that Jasper does earn something, you know.’

‘Don’t be so quick to anger. You know I’m not holding anything against you, dear. But I just meant to point out that Jasper does earn something, you know.’

‘It’s a disgraceful thing that he doesn’t earn as much as he needs. We are sacrificed to him, as we always have been. Why should we be pinching and stinting to keep him in idleness?’

‘It’s shameful that he doesn’t make enough money. We’ve always been sacrificed for him. Why should we be cutting back and saving to keep him from working?’

‘But you really can’t call it idleness, Maud. He is studying his profession.’

‘But you really can’t call it laziness, Maud. He is studying for his career.’

‘Pray call it trade; he prefers it. How do I know that he’s studying anything? What does he mean by “studying”? And to hear him speak scornfully of his friend Mr Reardon, who seems to work hard all through the year! It’s disgusting, mother. At this rate he will never earn his own living. Who hasn’t seen or heard of such men? If we had another hundred a year, I would say nothing. But we can’t live on what he leaves us, and I’m not going to let you try. I shall tell Jasper plainly that he’s got to work for his own support.’

‘Let’s call it what it is—he prefers to think of it as trade. How can I tell if he’s actually studying anything? What does he mean by “studying”? And it’s infuriating to hear him talk down about his friend Mr. Reardon, who seems to work hard all year round! It’s ridiculous, Mom. At this pace, he’ll never support himself. Who hasn’t seen or heard of guys like that? If we had another hundred a year, I wouldn’t complain. But we can’t survive on what he brings in, and I’m not going to let you struggle with that. I’ll make it clear to Jasper that he needs to start working to support himself.’

Another silence, and a longer one. Mrs Milvain furtively wiped a tear from her cheek.

Another silence, and a longer one. Mrs. Milvain quietly wiped a tear from her cheek.

‘It seems very cruel to refuse,’ she said at length, ‘when another year may give him the opportunity he’s waiting for.’

‘It seems really harsh to say no,’ she finally said, ‘when another year might give him the chance he’s hoping for.’

‘Opportunity? What does he mean by his opportunity?’

‘Opportunity? What does he mean by his opportunity?’

‘He says that it always comes, if a man knows how to wait.’

‘He says that it always comes if a person knows how to wait.’

‘And the people who support him may starve meanwhile! Now just think a bit, mother. Suppose anything were to happen to you, what becomes of Dora and me? And what becomes of Jasper, too? It’s the truest kindness to him to compel him to earn a living. He gets more and more incapable of it.’

‘And the people who support him might starve in the meantime! Just think about it, mom. If something were to happen to you, what would happen to Dora and me? And what about Jasper? It’s actually the kindest thing to him to make him earn a living. He’s becoming less and less capable of doing it.’

‘You can’t say that, Maud. He earns a little more each year. But for that, I should have my doubts. He has made thirty pounds already this year, and he only made about twenty-five the whole of last. We must be fair to him, you know. I can’t help feeling that he knows what he’s about. And if he does succeed, he’ll pay us all back.’

‘You can’t say that, Maud. He makes a little more each year. But because of that, I have my doubts. He has already made thirty pounds this year, and he only made about twenty-five in total last year. We need to be fair to him, you know. I can’t shake the feeling that he knows what he’s doing. And if he does succeed, he’ll pay us all back.’

Maud began to gnaw her fingers, a disagreeable habit she had in privacy.

Maud started to chew on her fingers, an unpleasant habit she had when she was alone.

‘Then why doesn’t he live more economically?’

‘Then why doesn’t he live more frugally?’

‘I really don’t see how he can live on less than a hundred and fifty a year. London, you know—’

‘I really don’t see how he can get by on less than a hundred and fifty a year. London, you know—’

‘The cheapest place in the world.’

‘The most affordable place in the world.’

‘Nonsense, Maud!’

“Ridiculous, Maud!”

‘But I know what I’m saying. I’ve read quite enough about such things. He might live very well indeed on thirty shillings a week, even buying his clothes out of it.’

‘But I know what I’m talking about. I’ve read plenty about this stuff. He could definitely live well on thirty shillings a week, even if he buys his clothes with that.’

‘But he has told us so often that it’s no use to him to live like that. He is obliged to go to places where he must spend a little, or he makes no progress.’

‘But he has told us so many times that living like that isn’t useful to him. He has to go to places where he needs to spend a little, or he won’t make any progress.’

‘Well, all I can say is,’ exclaimed the girl impatiently, ‘it’s very lucky for him that he’s got a mother who willingly sacrifices her daughters to him.’

‘Well, all I can say is,’ the girl said impatiently, ‘it's really fortunate for him that he has a mother who willingly sacrifices her daughters for him.’

‘That’s how you always break out. You don’t care what unkindness you say!’

‘That’s how you always break free. You don’t care about the hurtful things you say!’

‘It’s a simple truth.’

"It’s a simple truth."

‘Dora never speaks like that.’

"Dora doesn't talk like that."

‘Because she’s afraid to be honest.’

‘Because she’s scared to be honest.’

‘No, because she has too much love for her mother. I can’t bear to talk to you, Maud. The older I get, and the weaker I get, the more unfeeling you are to me.’

‘No, because she loves her mother too much. I can't stand talking to you, Maud. The older I get and the weaker I become, the more heartless you are towards me.’

Scenes of this kind were no uncommon thing. The clash of tempers lasted for several minutes, then Maud flung out of the room. An hour later, at dinner-time, she was rather more caustic in her remarks than usual, but this was the only sign that remained of the stormy mood.

Scenes like this happened fairly often. The argument went on for several minutes before Maud stormed out of the room. An hour later, at dinner, she was a bit more cutting in her comments than usual, but that was the only indication left of her earlier anger.

Jasper renewed the breakfast-table conversation.

Jasper restarted the breakfast chat.

‘Look here,’ he began, ‘why don’t you girls write something? I’m convinced you could make money if you tried. There’s a tremendous sale for religious stories; why not patch one together? I am quite serious.’

‘Listen,’ he started, ‘why don’t you girls write something? I’m sure you could make some money if you gave it a go. There’s a huge demand for religious stories; why not put one together? I’m serious about this.’

‘Why don’t you do it yourself,’ retorted Maud.

‘Why don’t you do it yourself?’ Maud shot back.

‘I can’t manage stories, as I have told you; but I think you could. In your place, I’d make a speciality of Sunday-school prize-books; you know the kind of thing I mean. They sell like hot cakes. And there’s so deuced little enterprise in the business. If you’d give your mind to it, you might make hundreds a year.’

‘I can’t handle stories, as I’ve mentioned; but I think you could. If I were you, I’d focus on Sunday-school prize books; you know the type I mean. They sell like crazy. And there’s so little competition in that area. If you put your mind to it, you could make hundreds a year.’

‘Better say “abandon your mind to it.”’

"Better to say 'let yourself go with it.'"

‘Why, there you are! You’re a sharp enough girl. You can quote as well as anyone I know.’

‘Well, there you are! You’re a clever girl. You can quote just as well as anyone I know.’

‘And please, why am I to take up an inferior kind of work?’

‘And seriously, why should I settle for a lower quality job?’

‘Inferior? Oh, if you can be a George Eliot, begin at the earliest opportunity. I merely suggested what seemed practicable. But I don’t think you have genius, Maud. People have got that ancient prejudice so firmly rooted in their heads—that one mustn’t write save at the dictation of the Holy Spirit. I tell you, writing is a business. Get together half-a-dozen fair specimens of the Sunday-school prize; study them; discover the essential points of such composition; hit upon new attractions; then go to work methodically, so many pages a day. There’s no question of the divine afflatus; that belongs to another sphere of life. We talk of literature as a trade, not of Homer, Dante, and Shakespeare. If I could only get that into poor Reardon’s head. He thinks me a gross beast, often enough. What the devil—I mean what on earth is there in typography to make everything it deals with sacred? I don’t advocate the propagation of vicious literature; I speak only of good, coarse, marketable stuff for the world’s vulgar. You just give it a thought, Maud; talk it over with Dora.’

‘Inferior? Oh, if you can be a George Eliot, start as soon as possible. I just suggested what seemed doable. But I don’t think you have genius, Maud. People are so stuck on the old belief that you shouldn’t write unless inspired by the Holy Spirit. I’m telling you, writing is a job. Gather a few good examples of Sunday school prize winners; analyze them; figure out the key elements of that style; come up with fresh ideas; then work systematically, so many pages a day. There’s no question of divine inspiration; that belongs to another part of life. We discuss literature as a trade, not Homer, Dante, and Shakespeare. If only I could get that into poor Reardon’s mind. He thinks I’m a terrible person often enough. What on earth is it about typography that makes everything it touches sacred? I’m not promoting bad literature; I’m only talking about solid, marketable stuff for the general public. Just think about it, Maud; discuss it with Dora.’

He resumed presently:

He continued shortly:

‘I maintain that we people of brains are justified in supplying the mob with the food it likes. We are not geniuses, and if we sit down in a spirit of long-eared gravity we shall produce only commonplace stuff. Let us use our wits to earn money, and make the best we can of our lives. If only I had the skill, I would produce novels out-trashing the trashiest that ever sold fifty thousand copies. But it needs skill, mind you: and to deny it is a gross error of the literary pedants. To please the vulgar you must, one way or another, incarnate the genius of vulgarity. For my own part, I shan’t be able to address the bulkiest multitude; my talent doesn’t lend itself to that form. I shall write for the upper middle-class of intellect, the people who like to feel that what they are reading has some special cleverness, but who can’t distinguish between stones and paste. That’s why I’m so slow in warming to the work. Every month I feel surer of myself, however.

‘I believe that we, the intellectuals, have every right to give the masses the entertainment they crave. We’re not geniuses, and if we approach our work with too much seriousness, we’ll only create average content. Let’s use our intelligence to make money and make the most of our lives. If only I had the talent, I could write novels that would outshine even the trashiest ones that have sold fifty thousand copies. But it requires talent, mind you, and denying this is a major mistake of the literary experts. To please the masses, you must, in one way or another, embody the essence of popular taste. As for me, I won’t be able to reach the vastest audience; my skills don’t fit that style. I’ll write for the intellectually curious middle class, the kind of people who appreciate reading something with a touch of cleverness but can’t really tell the difference between real gems and imitation. That’s why I’m taking my time getting into the work. However, every month, I feel more confident in myself.'

That last thing of mine in The West End distinctly hit the mark; it wasn’t too flashy, it wasn’t too solid. I heard fellows speak of it in the train.’

That last piece of mine in The West End really resonated; it wasn’t too showy, and it wasn’t too stiff. I heard guys talking about it on the train.

Mrs Milvain kept glancing at Maud, with eyes which desired her attention to these utterances. None the less, half an hour after dinner, Jasper found himself encountered by his sister in the garden, on her face a look which warned him of what was coming.

Mrs. Milvain kept looking at Maud, her eyes wanting her to pay attention to what was being said. Still, half an hour after dinner, Jasper found himself faced with his sister in the garden, her expression signaling what was about to happen.

‘I want you to tell me something, Jasper. How much longer shall you look to mother for support? I mean it literally; let me have an idea of how much longer it will be.’

‘I want you to tell me something, Jasper. How much longer are you going to rely on Mom for support? I mean it seriously; give me an idea of how much longer it will be.’

He looked away and reflected.

He turned away and thought.

‘To leave a margin,’ was his reply, ‘let us say twelve months.’

‘To leave some room,’ was his reply, ‘let’s say a year.’

‘Better say your favourite “ten years” at once.’

‘You might as well just say your favorite “ten years” right away.’

‘No. I speak by the card. In twelve months’ time, if not before, I shall begin to pay my debts. My dear girl, I have the honour to be a tolerably long-headed individual. I know what I’m about.’

‘No. I speak honestly. In twelve months, if not sooner, I will start paying my debts. My dear girl, I take pride in being a reasonably smart person. I know what I'm doing.’

‘And let us suppose mother were to die within half a year?’

‘And let’s say mom were to die in six months?’

‘I should make shift to do very well.’

'I should manage to do very well.'

‘You? And please—what of Dora and me?’

‘You? And come on—what about Dora and me?’

‘You would write Sunday-school prizes.’

"You'd write Sunday school prizes."

Maud turned away and left him.

Maud turned away and walked out on him.

He knocked the dust out of the pipe he had been smoking, and again set off for a stroll along the lanes. On his countenance was just a trace of solicitude, but for the most part he wore a thoughtful smile. Now and then he stroked his smoothly-shaven jaws with thumb and fingers. Occasionally he became observant of wayside details—of the colour of a maple leaf, the shape of a tall thistle, the consistency of a fungus. At the few people who passed he looked keenly, surveying them from head to foot.

He knocked the ash out of the pipe he had been smoking and set off for a walk along the lanes again. There was a hint of concern on his face, but mostly he wore a thoughtful smile. Every now and then, he stroked his smooth jawline with his thumb and fingers. Occasionally, he noticed details along the way—the color of a maple leaf, the shape of a tall thistle, the texture of a fungus. He looked closely at the few people who passed by, taking in their appearance from head to toe.

On turning, at the limit of his walk, he found himself almost face to face with two persons, who were coming along in silent companionship; their appearance interested him. The one was a man of fifty, grizzled, hard featured, slightly bowed in the shoulders; he wore a grey felt hat with a broad brim and a decent suit of broadcloth. With him was a girl of perhaps two-and-twenty, in a slate-coloured dress with very little ornament, and a yellow straw hat of the shape originally appropriated to males; her dark hair was cut short, and lay in innumerable crisp curls. Father and daughter, obviously. The girl, to a casual eye, was neither pretty nor beautiful, but she had a grave and impressive face, with a complexion of ivory tone; her walk was gracefully modest, and she seemed to be enjoying the country air.

On turning at the end of his walk, he found himself almost face to face with two people who were walking silently together; their appearance caught his attention. One was a man in his fifties, grizzled, with sharp features, slightly hunched shoulders; he wore a gray felt hat with a wide brim and a nice suit made of broadcloth. Accompanying him was a girl of about twenty-two, dressed in a slate-colored outfit with very few embellishments, and a yellow straw hat originally designed for men; her dark hair was cut short and was styled in countless tight curls. They were clearly father and daughter. To a casual observer, the girl was neither pretty nor beautiful, but she had a serious and striking face, with an ivory-toned complexion; her walk was gracefully modest, and she seemed to be enjoying the fresh country air.

Jasper mused concerning them. When he had walked a few yards, he looked back; at the same moment the unknown man also turned his head.

Jasper thought about them. After he had walked a few yards, he looked back; at that moment, the unknown man also turned his head.

‘Where the deuce have I seen them—him and the girl too?’ Milvain asked himself.

‘Where on earth have I seen them—him and the girl too?’ Milvain asked himself.

And before he reached home the recollection he sought flashed upon his mind.

And before he got home, the memory he was looking for suddenly came to him.

‘The Museum Reading-room, of course!’

"The Museum Reading Room, obviously!"





CHAPTER II. THE HOUSE OF YULE

‘I think’ said Jasper, as he entered the room where his mother and Maud were busy with plain needlework, ‘I must have met Alfred Yule and his daughter.’

"I think," said Jasper, as he walked into the room where his mother and Maud were focused on simple needlework, "I must have met Alfred Yule and his daughter."

‘How did you recognise them?’ Mrs Milvain inquired.

‘How did you recognize them?’ Mrs. Milvain asked.

‘I passed an old buffer and a pale-faced girl whom I know by sight at the British Museum. It wasn’t near Yule’s house, but they were taking a walk.’

‘I walked past an older guy and a pale-faced girl I recognize from the British Museum. They weren’t near Yule’s house, but they were out for a walk.’

‘They may have come already. When Miss Harrow was here last, she said “in about a fortnight.”’

‘They might have already come. When Miss Harrow was here last, she said “in about two weeks.”’

‘No mistaking them for people of these parts, even if I hadn’t remembered their faces. Both of them are obvious dwellers in the valley of the shadow of books.’

‘There’s no way to confuse them with locals, even if I hadn’t recognized their faces. Both of them clearly belong to the valley of the shadow of books.’

‘Is Miss Yule such a fright then?’ asked Maud.

‘Is Miss Yule really that scary?’ asked Maud.

‘A fright! Not at all. A good example of the modern literary girl. I suppose you have the oddest old-fashioned ideas of such people. No, I rather like the look of her. Simpatica, I should think, as that ass Whelpdale would say. A very delicate, pure complexion, though morbid; nice eyes; figure not spoilt yet. But of course I may be wrong about their identity.’

‘A shock! Not at all. A great example of the modern literary girl. I guess you have the weirdest old-fashioned ideas about people like that. No, I actually like how she looks. Nice, I should say, like that idiot Whelpdale would put it. She has a very delicate, pure complexion, though a bit sickly; nice eyes; her figure isn’t ruined yet. But of course, I could be wrong about who she is.’

Later in the afternoon Jasper’s conjecture was rendered a certainty. Maud had walked to Wattleborough, where she would meet Dora on the latter’s return from her teaching, and Mrs Milvain sat alone, in a mood of depression; there was a ring at the door-bell, and the servant admitted Miss Harrow.

Later in the afternoon, Jasper's guess became a certainty. Maud had walked to Wattleborough, where she was supposed to meet Dora when she returned from her teaching, and Mrs. Milvain sat alone, feeling down. There was a ring at the doorbell, and the servant let in Miss Harrow.

This lady acted as housekeeper to Mr John Yule, a wealthy resident in this neighbourhood; she was the sister of his deceased wife—a thin, soft-speaking, kindly woman of forty-five. The greater part of her life she had spent as a governess; her position now was more agreeable, and the removal of her anxiety about the future had developed qualities of cheerfulness which formerly no one would have suspected her to possess. The acquaintance between Mrs Milvain and her was only of twelve months’ standing; prior to that, Mr Yule had inhabited a house at the end of Wattleborough remote from Finden.

This woman worked as a housekeeper for Mr. John Yule, a wealthy resident in the area; she was the sister of his late wife—a thin, soft-spoken, kind woman in her mid-forties. She had spent most of her life as a governess, but her current position was more enjoyable, and the removal of her worries about the future had revealed qualities of cheerfulness that no one would have suspected she had before. The friendship between Mrs. Milvain and her had only begun a year ago; before that, Mr. Yule had lived in a house at the far end of Wattleborough, away from Finden.

‘Our London visitors came yesterday,’ she began by saying.

‘Our visitors from London arrived yesterday,’ she started by saying.

Mrs Milvain mentioned her son’s encounter an hour or two ago.

Mrs. Milvain talked about her son's encounter a little while ago.

‘No doubt it was they,’ said the visitor. ‘Mrs Yule hasn’t come; I hardly expected she would, you know. So very unfortunate when there are difficulties of that kind, isn’t it?’

‘No doubt it was them,’ said the visitor. ‘Mrs. Yule hasn’t come; I barely expected she would, you know. It’s really unfortunate when there are complications like that, isn’t it?’

She smiled confidentially.

She smiled with confidence.

‘The poor girl must feel it,’ said Mrs Milvain.

‘The poor girl must be feeling it,’ said Mrs. Milvain.

‘I’m afraid she does. Of course it narrows the circle of her friends at home. She’s a sweet girl, and I should so like you to meet her. Do come and have tea with us to-morrow afternoon, will you? Or would it be too much for you just now?’

‘I’m afraid she does. Of course, it limits the circle of her friends at home. She’s a lovely girl, and I’d really like you to meet her. Please come and have tea with us tomorrow afternoon, will you? Or would that be too much for you right now?’

‘Will you let the girls call? And then perhaps Miss Yule will be so good as to come and see me?’

‘Will you let the girls call? And maybe Miss Yule will be kind enough to come and see me?’

‘I wonder whether Mr Milvain would like to meet her father? I have thought that perhaps it might be some advantage to him. Alfred is so closely connected with literary people, you know.’

‘I wonder if Mr. Milvain would be interested in meeting her father? I thought it might be beneficial for him. Alfred is really well connected with literary people, you know.’

‘I feel sure he would be glad,’ replied Mrs Milvain. ‘But—what of Jasper’s friendship with Mrs Edmund Yule and the Reardons? Mightn’t it be a little awkward?’

‘I’m pretty sure he would be happy,’ replied Mrs. Milvain. ‘But—what about Jasper’s friendship with Mrs. Edmund Yule and the Reardons? Couldn’t that be a bit awkward?’

‘Oh, I don’t think so, unless he himself felt it so. There would be no need to mention that, I should say. And, really, it would be so much better if those estrangements came to an end. John makes no scruple of speaking freely about everyone, and I don’t think Alfred regards Mrs Edmund with any serious unkindness. If Mr Milvain would walk over with the young ladies to-morrow, it would be very pleasant.’

‘Oh, I don’t think so, unless he felt that way himself. There wouldn’t be any need to bring it up, I think. And honestly, it would be so much better if those rifts were healed. John has no problem speaking openly about everyone, and I don’t think Alfred has any serious issues with Mrs. Edmund. If Mr. Milvain could come over with the young ladies tomorrow, it would be very nice.’

‘Then I think I may promise that he will. I’m sure I don’t know where he is at this moment. We don’t see very much of him, except at meals.’

‘Then I think I can promise that he will. I honestly have no idea where he is right now. We don’t see him much, except during meals.’

‘He won’t be with you much longer, I suppose?’

'He won't be with you much longer, I guess?'

‘Perhaps a week.’

"Maybe a week."

Before Miss Harrow’s departure Maud and Dora reached home. They were curious to see the young lady from the valley of the shadow of books, and gladly accepted the invitation offered them.

Before Miss Harrow left, Maud and Dora got home. They were eager to meet the young woman from the valley of the shadow of books and happily accepted the invitation given to them.

They set out on the following afternoon in their brother’s company. It was only a quarter of an hour’s walk to Mr Yule’s habitation, a small house in a large garden. Jasper was coming hither for the first time; his sisters now and then visited Miss Harrow, but very rarely saw Mr Yule himself who made no secret of the fact that he cared little for female society. In Wattleborough and the neighbourhood opinions varied greatly as to this gentleman’s character, but women seldom spoke very favourably of him. Miss Harrow was reticent concerning her brother-in-law; no one, however, had any reason to believe that she found life under his roof disagreeable. That she lived with him at all was of course occasionally matter for comment, certain Wattleborough ladies having their doubts regarding the position of a deceased wife’s sister under such circumstances; but no one was seriously exercised about the relations between this sober lady of forty-five and a man of sixty-three in broken health.

They set out the next afternoon with their brother. It was just a 15-minute walk to Mr. Yule’s place, a small house surrounded by a large garden. Jasper was going there for the first time; his sisters visited Miss Harrow from time to time but rarely saw Mr. Yule himself, who made it clear that he didn’t care much for female company. In Wattleborough and the surrounding area, opinions about this man varied widely, but women typically didn’t speak well of him. Miss Harrow was quiet about her brother-in-law; however, no one had any reason to believe she found life with him unpleasant. The fact that she lived with him sometimes raised eyebrows, as certain ladies in Wattleborough questioned the appropriateness of a deceased wife’s sister living in such a situation. Still, no one was genuinely concerned about the relationship between this reserved 45-year-old woman and the 63-year-old man in declining health.

A word of the family history.

A note on the family history.

John, Alfred, and Edmund Yule were the sons of a Wattleborough stationer. Each was well educated, up to the age of seventeen, at the town’s grammar school. The eldest, who was a hot-headed lad, but showed capacities for business, worked at first with his father, endeavouring to add a bookselling department to the trade in stationery; but the life of home was not much to his taste, and at one-and-twenty he obtained a clerk’s place in the office of a London newspaper. Three years after, his father died, and the small patrimony which fell to him he used in making himself practically acquainted with the details of paper manufacture, his aim being to establish himself in partnership with an acquaintance who had started a small paper-mill in Hertfordshire.

John, Alfred, and Edmund Yule were the sons of a stationer from Wattleborough. Each received a good education at the town’s grammar school until they were seventeen. The eldest, a hot-headed guy with a knack for business, initially worked with his father, trying to add a book-selling section to their stationery store. However, he didn't really enjoy the home life, and by the age of twenty-one, he secured a clerk position at a London newspaper. Three years later, after his father's death, he used his small inheritance to learn about paper manufacturing, aiming to team up with a friend who had started a small paper mill in Hertfordshire.

His speculation succeeded, and as years went on he became a thriving manufacturer. His brother Alfred, in the meantime, had drifted from work at a London bookseller’s into the modern Grub Street, his adventures in which region will concern us hereafter.

His speculation paid off, and as the years went by, he became a successful manufacturer. In the meantime, his brother Alfred had moved on from working at a London bookstore into the modern Grub Street, and his experiences in that area will be relevant to us later.

Edmund carried on the Wattleborough business, but with small success. Between him and his eldest brother existed a good deal of affection, and in the end John offered him a share in his flourishing paper works; whereupon Edmund married, deeming himself well established for life. But John’s temper was a difficult one; Edmund and he quarrelled, parted; and when the younger died, aged about forty, he left but moderate provision for his widow and two children.

Edmund continued the Wattleborough business, but it didn’t go very well. He had a close bond with his older brother, and eventually, John offered him a stake in his successful paper factory. Feeling secure, Edmund got married, thinking he was set for life. However, John had a tough temper; Edmund and he fought and eventually separated. When the younger brother passed away at around forty, he left only a modest amount for his wife and two kids.

Only when he had reached middle age did John marry; the experiment could not be called successful, and Mrs Yule died three years later, childless.

Only when he reached middle age did John get married; the experiment couldn’t be called a success, and Mrs. Yule died three years later, without any children.

At fifty-four John Yule retired from active business; he came back to the scenes of his early life, and began to take an important part in the municipal affairs of Wattleborough. He was then a remarkably robust man, fond of out-of-door exercise; he made it one of his chief efforts to encourage the local Volunteer movement, the cricket and football clubs, public sports of every kind, showing no sympathy whatever with those persons who wished to establish free libraries, lectures, and the like. At his own expense he built for the Volunteers a handsome drill-shed; he founded a public gymnasium; and finally he allowed it to be rumoured that he was going to present the town with a park. But by presuming too far upon the bodily vigour which prompted these activities, he passed of a sudden into the state of a confirmed invalid. On an autumn expedition in the Hebrides he slept one night under the open sky, with the result that he had an all but fatal attack of rheumatic fever. After that, though the direction of his interests was unchanged, he could no longer set the example to Wattleborough youth of muscular manliness. The infliction did not improve his temper; for the next year or two he was constantly at warfare with one or other of his colleagues and friends, ill brooking that the familiar control of various local interests should fall out of his hands. But before long he appeared to resign himself to his fate, and at present Wattleborough saw little of him. It seemed likely that he might still found the park which was to bear his name; but perhaps it would only be done in consequence of directions in his will. It was believed that he could not live much longer.

At fifty-four, John Yule retired from active business; he returned to the places of his early life and started to take an active role in the community affairs of Wattleborough. He was a notably strong man, passionate about outdoor activities; he made it one of his main goals to promote the local Volunteer movement, cricket and football clubs, and public sports of all kinds, showing no interest at all in those who wanted to set up free libraries, lectures, and similar initiatives. At his own expense, he built a nice drill-shed for the Volunteers, started a public gym, and eventually let it be known that he was planning to gift the town a park. However, by pushing himself too far based on his physical strength, he suddenly became a serious invalid. During an autumn trip in the Hebrides, he slept outside one night, which led to a nearly fatal bout of rheumatic fever. After that, although his interests remained the same, he could no longer serve as a role model of physical vigor for the youth of Wattleborough. His illness did not improve his mood; for the next couple of years, he was constantly at odds with one or another of his colleagues and friends, resentful that the familiar control of various local issues was slipping from his grasp. But before long, he seemed to accept his situation, and now Wattleborough saw very little of him. It seemed likely that he might still establish the park that would bear his name, but it might only happen as a result of instructions in his will. It was believed that he would not live much longer.

With his kinsfolk he held very little communication. Alfred Yule, a battered man of letters, had visited Wattleborough only twice (including the present occasion) since John’s return hither. Mrs Edmund Yule, with her daughter—now Mrs Reardon—had been only once, three years ago. These two families, as you have heard, were not on terms of amity with each other, owing to difficulties between Mrs Alfred and Mrs Edmund; but John seemed to regard both impartially. Perhaps the only real warmth of feeling he had ever known was bestowed upon Edmund, and Miss Harrow had remarked that he spoke with somewhat more interest of Edmund’s daughter, Amy, than of Alfred’s daughter, Marian. But it was doubtful whether the sudden disappearance from the earth of all his relatives would greatly have troubled him. He lived a life of curious self-absorption, reading newspapers (little else), and talking with old friends who had stuck to him in spite of his irascibility.

With his family, he barely communicated. Alfred Yule, a worn-out writer, had only come to Wattleborough twice (including this visit) since John returned here. Mrs. Edmund Yule, along with her daughter—now Mrs. Reardon—had only been once, three years ago. As you’ve heard, these two families weren’t on friendly terms due to issues between Mrs. Alfred and Mrs. Edmund; however, John seemed to treat both sides equally. Perhaps the only genuine affection he ever felt was for Edmund, and Miss Harrow noted that he talked with a bit more interest about Edmund’s daughter, Amy, than about Alfred’s daughter, Marian. But it’s uncertain if the sudden disappearance of all his relatives would have truly bothered him. He lived a life of peculiar self-absorption, mainly reading newspapers (not much else) and chatting with old friends who had stuck by him despite his temper.

Miss Harrow received her visitors in a small and soberly furnished drawing-room. She was nervous, probably because of Jasper Milvain, whom she had met but once—last spring—and who on that occasion had struck her as an alarmingly modern young man. In the shadow of a window-curtain sat a slight, simply-dressed girl, whose short curly hair and thoughtful countenance Jasper again recognised. When it was his turn to be presented to Miss Yule, he saw that she doubted for an instant whether or not to give her hand; yet she decided to do so, and there was something very pleasant to him in its warm softness. She smiled with a slight embarrassment, meeting his look only for a second.

Miss Harrow welcomed her guests in a small, simply furnished living room. She seemed nervous, probably because of Jasper Milvain, whom she had only met once—last spring—and who had struck her as a strikingly modern young man. In the shadow of a window curtain sat a slim, plainly dressed girl, whose short curly hair and thoughtful expression Jasper recognized again. When it was his turn to be introduced to Miss Yule, he noticed that she hesitated for a moment about whether to shake hands; however, she decided to do so, and he found something very pleasant in its warm softness. She smiled with a hint of embarrassment, making eye contact with him only for a second.

‘I have seen you several times, Miss Yule,’ he said in a friendly way, ‘though without knowing your name. It was under the great dome.’

‘I’ve seen you a few times, Miss Yule,’ he said warmly, ‘even though I didn’t know your name. It was under the big dome.’

She laughed, readily understanding his phrase.

She laughed, easily getting his point.

‘I am there very often,’ was her reply.

‘I go there a lot,’ was her reply.

‘What great dome?’ asked Miss Harrow, with surprise.

‘What great dome?’ asked Miss Harrow, surprised.

‘That of the British Museum Reading-room,’ explained Jasper; ‘known to some of us as the valley of the shadow of books. People who often work there necessarily get to know each other by sight.

‘That of the British Museum Reading Room,’ Jasper explained; ‘often referred to by some of us as the valley of the shadow of books. People who regularly work there inevitably recognize each other by sight.

In the same way I knew Miss Yule’s father when I happened to pass him in the road yesterday.’

In the same way, I recognized Miss Yule’s dad when I ran into him on the road yesterday.

The three girls began to converse together, perforce of trivialities. Marian Yule spoke in rather slow tones, thoughtfully, gently; she had linked her fingers, and laid her hands, palms downwards, upon her lap—a nervous action. Her accent was pure, unpretentious; and she used none of the fashionable turns of speech which would have suggested the habit of intercourse with distinctly metropolitan society.

The three girls started chatting about little things. Marian Yule spoke in a slow, thoughtful, and gentle way; she had linked her fingers and rested her hands, palms down, on her lap—a nervous habit. Her accent was clear and straightforward; she didn't use any of the trendy phrases that would hint at mingling with the city crowd.

‘You must wonder how we exist in this out-of-the-way place,’ remarked Maud.

‘You must be curious about how we live in this remote area,’ said Maud.

‘Rather, I envy you,’ Marian answered, with a slight emphasis.

“I actually envy you,” Marian replied, adding a slight emphasis.

The door opened, and Alfred Yule presented himself. He was tall, and his head seemed a disproportionate culmination to his meagre body, it was so large and massively featured. Intellect and uncertainty of temper were equally marked upon his visage; his brows were knitted in a permanent expression of severity. He had thin, smooth hair, grizzled whiskers, a shaven chin. In the multitudinous wrinkles of his face lay a history of laborious and stormy life; one readily divined in him a struggling and embittered man. Though he looked older than his years, he had by no means the appearance of being beyond the ripeness of his mental vigour.

The door opened, and Alfred Yule walked in. He was tall, and his head seemed an oversized finish to his slim body; it was so large and strongly featured. You could clearly see both intelligence and a hint of volatility in his expression; his brows were permanently furrowed in a serious look. He had thin, sleek hair, gray whiskers, and a clean-shaven chin. The many wrinkles on his face told the story of a hard and tumultuous life; it was easy to see that he was a struggling and bitter man. Although he appeared older than he was, he definitely didn’t look like he had lost any of his mental sharpness.

‘It pleases me to meet you, Mr Milvain,’ he said, as he stretched out his bony hand. ‘Your name reminds me of a paper in The Wayside a month or two ago, which you will perhaps allow a veteran to say was not ill done.’

‘It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Milvain,’ he said, reaching out his bony hand. ‘Your name reminds me of an article in The Wayside a month or two ago, which I hope you’ll allow an old-timer to say was quite good.’

‘I am grateful to you for noticing it,’ replied Jasper.

"I appreciate you noticing it," replied Jasper.

There was positively a touch of visible warmth upon his cheek. The allusion had come so unexpectedly that it caused him keen pleasure.

There was definitely a noticeable warmth on his cheek. The suggestion had come so unexpectedly that it brought him great joy.

Mr Yule seated himself awkwardly, crossed his legs, and began to stroke the back of his left hand, which lay on his knee. He seemed to have nothing more to say at present, and allowed Miss Harrow and the girls to support conversation. Jasper listened with a smile for a minute or two, then he addressed the veteran.‘Have you seen The Study this week, Mr Yule?’

Mr. Yule sat down awkwardly, crossed his legs, and started to stroke the back of his left hand resting on his knee. He didn't seem to have anything else to say at the moment, letting Miss Harrow and the girls keep the conversation going. Jasper listened with a smile for a minute or two, then turned to the veteran. "Have you seen The Study this week, Mr. Yule?"

‘Yes.’

"Yep."

‘Did you notice that it contains a very favourable review of a novel which was tremendously abused in the same columns three weeks ago?’

‘Did you see that it has a really positive review of a novel that was harshly criticized in the same columns three weeks ago?’

Mr Yule started, but Jasper could perceive at once that his emotion was not disagreeable.

Mr. Yule flinched, but Jasper could immediately tell that his emotion wasn't negative.

‘You don’t say so.’

"Really?"

‘Yes. The novel is Miss Hawk’s “On the Boards.” How will the editor get out of this?’

‘Yes. The novel is Miss Hawk’s “On the Boards.” How will the editor handle this?’

‘H’m! Of course Mr Fadge is not immediately responsible; but it’ll be unpleasant for him, decidedly unpleasant.’ He smiled grimly. ‘You hear this, Marian?’

‘H’m! Of course Mr. Fadge isn't directly responsible; but it’s going to be uncomfortable for him, definitely uncomfortable.’ He smiled grimly. ‘Do you hear this, Marian?’

‘How is it explained, father?’

'How is it explained, Dad?'

‘May be accident, of course; but—well, there’s no knowing. I think it very likely this will be the end of Mr Fadge’s tenure of office. Rackett, the proprietor, only wants a plausible excuse for making a change. The paper has been going downhill for the last year; I know of two publishing houses who have withdrawn their advertising from it, and who never send their books for review. Everyone foresaw that kind of thing from the day Mr Fadge became editor. The tone of his paragraphs has been detestable. Two reviews of the same novel, eh? And diametrically opposed? Ha! Ha!’

‘It could just be a coincidence, but—well, who knows? I think it’s very likely that this will be the end of Mr. Fadge’s time in office. Rackett, the owner, just needs a good reason to make a change. The paper has been declining for the past year; I know of two publishing companies that have pulled their ads and stopped sending their books for review. Everyone expected this kind of thing from the moment Mr. Fadge became editor. His writing has been awful. Two reviews of the same novel, right? And completely opposite? Ha! Ha!’

Gradually he had passed from quiet appreciation of the joke to undisguised mirth and pleasure. His utterance of the name ‘Mr Fadge’ sufficiently intimated that he had some cause of personal discontent with the editor of The Study.

Gradually, he went from quietly enjoying the joke to openly laughing and feeling happy. Just saying the name "Mr. Fadge" made it clear that he had some personal issues with the editor of The Study.

‘The author,’ remarked Milvain, ‘ought to make a good thing out of this.’

‘The author,’ Milvain said, ‘should be able to profit from this.’

‘Will, no doubt. Ought to write at once to the papers, calling attention to this sample of critical impartiality. Ha! ha!’

‘Will, for sure. Should write to the newspapers right away, pointing out this example of unbiased criticism. Ha! ha!’

He rose and went to the window, where for several minutes he stood gazing at vacancy, the same grim smile still on his face. Jasper in the meantime amused the ladies (his sisters had heard him on the subject already) with a description of the two antagonistic notices. But he did not trust himself to express so freely as he had done at home his opinion of reviewing in general; it was more than probable that both Yule and his daughter did a good deal of such work.

He stood up and went to the window, where he spent several minutes staring into space, still wearing that same grim smile. Meanwhile, Jasper entertained the ladies (his sisters had already heard him talk about it) with a description of the two opposing notices. However, he didn't feel comfortable sharing his thoughts on reviewing as openly as he had at home; it was likely that both Yule and his daughter did quite a bit of that kind of work.

‘Suppose we go into the garden,’ suggested Miss Harrow, presently. ‘It seems a shame to sit indoors on such a lovely afternoon.’

‘How about we head into the garden?’ suggested Miss Harrow after a moment. ‘It feels like a waste to stay inside on such a beautiful afternoon.’

Hitherto there had been no mention of the master of the house. But Mr Yule now remarked to Jasper:

Hitherto there had been no mention of the master of the house. But Mr Yule now remarked to Jasper:

‘My brother would be glad if you would come and have a word with him. He isn’t quite well enough to leave his room to-day.’

‘My brother would be happy if you could come and talk with him. He isn’t well enough to leave his room today.’

So, as the ladies went gardenwards, Jasper followed the man of letters upstairs to a room on the first floor. Here, in a deep cane chair, which was placed by the open window, sat John Yule. He was completely dressed, save that instead of coat he wore a dressing-gown. The facial likeness between him and his brother was very strong, but John’s would universally have been judged the finer countenance; illness notwithstanding, he had a complexion which contrasted in its pure colour with Alfred’s parchmenty skin, and there was more finish about his features. His abundant hair was reddish, his long moustache and trimmed beard a lighter shade of the same hue.

So, as the women walked towards the garden, Jasper followed the writer upstairs to a room on the first floor. There, in a deep cane chair positioned by the open window, sat John Yule. He was fully dressed, except he was wearing a dressing gown instead of a coat. The resemblance between him and his brother was very striking, but people would generally agree that John had the better face; despite his illness, he had a complexion with a pure color that stood in sharp contrast to Alfred’s parchment-like skin, and his features were better defined. His thick hair was reddish, and his long mustache and neatly trimmed beard were a lighter shade of the same color.

‘So you too are in league with the doctors,’ was his bluff greeting, as he held a hand to the young man and inspected him with a look of slighting good-nature.

‘So you’re in cahoots with the doctors too,’ was his casual greeting, as he extended a hand to the young man and examined him with a slightly condescending friendliness.

‘Well, that certainly is one way of regarding the literary profession,’ admitted Jasper, who had heard enough of John’s way of thinking to understand the remark.

‘Well, that’s definitely one way to look at the literary profession,’ admitted Jasper, who had heard enough of John’s perspective to get the remark.

‘A young fellow with all the world before him, too. Hang it, Mr Milvain, is there no less pernicious work you can turn your hand to?’

‘A young guy with the whole world ahead of him, too. Come on, Mr. Milvain, can't you find some less harmful work to do?’

‘I’m afraid not, Mr Yule. After all, you know, you must be held in a measure responsible for my depravity.’

‘I’m afraid not, Mr. Yule. After all, you know you have to take some responsibility for my corruption.’

‘How’s that?’

"How's that looking?"

‘I understand that you have devoted most of your life to the making of paper. If that article were not so cheap and so abundant, people wouldn’t have so much temptation to scribble.’

‘I get that you’ve spent most of your life making paper. If that article wasn't so cheap and easy to get, people wouldn't have so much temptation to write all over it.’

Alfred Yule uttered a short laugh.

Alfred Yule let out a quick laugh.

‘I think you are cornered, John.’

"I think you're trapped, John."

‘I wish,’ answered John, ‘that you were both condemned to write on such paper as I chiefly made; it was a special kind of whitey-brown, used by shopkeepers.’

‘I wish,’ replied John, ‘that you both had to write on the same kind of paper I mainly used; it was a special shade of whitey-brown that shopkeepers used.’

He chuckled inwardly, and at the same time reached out for a box of cigarettes on a table near him. His brother and Jasper each took one as he offered them, and began to smoke.

He laughed to himself and reached for a pack of cigarettes on a nearby table. His brother and Jasper each took one as he handed them out and started to smoke.

‘You would like to see literary production come entirely to an end?’ said Milvain.

"You want to see all literary production stop completely?" said Milvain.

‘I should like to see the business of literature abolished.’

‘I would like to see the business of literature eliminated.’

‘There’s a distinction, of course. But, on the whole, I should say that even the business serves a good purpose.’

‘There’s a difference, of course. But overall, I’d say that even the business has a good purpose.’

‘What purpose?’

‘What’s the point?’

‘It helps to spread civilisation.’

"It helps spread civilization."

‘Civilisation!’ exclaimed John, scornfully. ‘What do you mean by civilisation? Do you call it civilising men to make them weak, flabby creatures, with ruined eyes and dyspeptic stomachs? Who is it that reads most of the stuff that’s poured out daily by the ton from the printing-press? Just the men and women who ought to spend their leisure hours in open-air exercise; the people who earn their bread by sedentary pursuits, and who need to live as soon as they are free from the desk or the counter, not to moon over small print. Your Board schools, your popular press, your spread of education! Machinery for ruining the country, that’s what I call it.’

‘Civilization!’ John exclaimed, scornfully. ‘What do you mean by civilization? Is it civilizing people to turn them into weak, soft creatures with ruined eyes and bad stomachs? Who do you think reads all the stuff that gets pumped out by the ton from the printing press every day? It’s just the men and women who should be spending their free time getting exercise outdoors; the folks who earn a living through desk jobs, and who need to live life as soon as they’re away from their desks or counters, not to get lost in fine print. Your public schools, your popular newspapers, the spread of education! I call it a way to ruin the country.’

‘You have done a good deal, I think, to counteract those influences in Wattleborough.’

‘I think you’ve done a lot to counter those influences in Wattleborough.’

‘I hope so; and if only I had kept the use of my limbs I’d have done a good deal more. I have an idea of offering substantial prizes to men and women engaged in sedentary work who take an oath to abstain from all reading, and keep it for a certain number of years. There’s a good deal more need for that than for abstinence from strong liquor. If I could have had my way I would have revived prize-fighting.’

‘I hope so; and if I had just been able to use my limbs, I would have accomplished a lot more. I’m thinking about offering significant rewards to men and women in desk jobs who promise to stop all reading and stick to it for a certain number of years. There's a lot more need for that than for giving up strong alcohol. If I had my way, I would have brought back prizefighting.’

His brother laughed with contemptuous impatience.

His brother laughed with a dismissive impatience.

‘You would doubtless like to see military conscription introduced into England?’ said Jasper.

"You probably want to see military conscription introduced in England?" Jasper said.

‘Of course I should! You talk of civilising; there’s no such way of civilising the masses of the people as by fixed military service. Before mental training must come training of the body. Go about the Continent, and see the effect of military service on loutish peasants and the lowest classes of town population. Do you know why it isn’t even more successful? Because the damnable education movement interferes. If Germany would shut up her schools and universities for the next quarter of a century and go ahead like blazes with military training there’d be a nation such as the world has never seen. After that, they might begin a little book-teaching again—say an hour and a half a day for everyone above nine years old. Do you suppose, Mr Milvain, that society is going to be reformed by you people who write for money? Why, you are the very first class that will be swept from the face of the earth as soon as the reformation really begins!’

‘Of course I should! You talk about civilizing; there’s no better way to civilize the masses than through mandatory military service. Before you focus on mental training, you need to train the body. Travel across the continent and see the impact of military service on uncultured peasants and the lower classes in cities. Do you know why it isn’t even more effective? Because that terrible education movement gets in the way. If Germany would close its schools and universities for the next 25 years and push forward with military training, there’d be a nation like the world has never seen. After that, they could start with a bit of book-learning again—maybe an hour and a half a day for everyone over nine years old. Do you really think, Mr. Milvain, that society will be reformed by you writers who make money off your work? You are the very first group that will be wiped out as soon as the real reformation starts!’

Alfred puffed at his cigarette. His thoughts were occupied with Mr Fadge and The Study. He was considering whether he could aid in bringing public contempt upon that literary organ and its editor. Milvain listened to the elder man’s diatribe with much amusement.

Alfred took a drag from his cigarette. He was focused on Mr. Fadge and The Study. He was thinking about whether he could help to bring public disdain toward that literary magazine and its editor. Milvain listened to the older man's rant with great amusement.

‘You, now,’ pursued John, ‘what do you write about?’

‘You, now,’ John continued, ‘what do you write about?’

‘Nothing in particular. I make a salable page or two out of whatever strikes my fancy.’

‘Nothing specific. I create a sellable page or two out of whatever catches my interest.’

‘Exactly! You don’t even pretend that you’ve got anything to say. You live by inducing people to give themselves mental indigestion—and bodily, too, for that matter.’

‘Exactly! You don’t even act like you’ve got something to say. You thrive on making people overthink—and physically uncomfortable, too, for that matter.’

‘Do you know, Mr Yule, that you have suggested a capital idea to me? If I were to take up your views, I think it isn’t at all unlikely that I might make a good thing of writing against writing. It should be my literary specialty to rail against literature. The reading public should pay me for telling them that they oughtn’t to read. I must think it over.’

‘Do you know, Mr. Yule, that you’ve given me a brilliant idea? If I were to adopt your views, I think it’s quite possible that I could really succeed at writing against writing. My literary niche could be to criticize literature. The reading public should pay me for telling them they shouldn’t read. I need to think it over.’

‘Carlyle has anticipated you,’ threw in Alfred.

‘Carlyle has already expected you,’ added Alfred.

‘Yes, but in an antiquated way. I would base my polemic on the newest philosophy.’

‘Yes, but in an outdated way. I would base my argument on the latest philosophy.’

He developed the idea facetiously, whilst John regarded him as he might have watched a performing monkey.

He developed the idea jokingly, while John looked at him as if he were watching a performing monkey.

‘There again! your new philosophy!’ exclaimed the invalid. ‘Why, it isn’t even wholesome stuff, the kind of reading that most of you force on the public. Now there’s the man who has married one of my nieces—poor lass! Reardon, his name is. You know him, I dare say. Just for curiosity I had a look at one of his books; it was called “The Optimist.” Of all the morbid trash I ever saw, that beat everything. I thought of writing him a letter, advising a couple of anti-bilious pills before bedtime for a few weeks.’

‘There it is again! Your new philosophy!’ the sick man exclaimed. ‘Honestly, it’s not even decent reading, the kind of stuff you all push on the public. Take the guy who married one of my nieces—poor girl! His name is Reardon. I’m sure you know him. Out of curiosity, I checked out one of his books; it was called “The Optimist.” Of all the depressing junk I’ve ever seen, that took the cake. I thought about writing him a letter, suggesting he take a couple of anti-bilious pills before bed for a few weeks.’

Jasper glanced at Alfred Yule, who wore a look of indifference.

Jasper looked at Alfred Yule, who had an indifferent expression.

‘That man deserves penal servitude in my opinion,’ pursued John. ‘I’m not sure that it isn’t my duty to offer him a couple of hundred a year on condition that he writes no more.’

‘That man deserves hard labor in my opinion,’ continued John. ‘I’m not sure it isn’t my responsibility to give him a few hundred a year on the condition that he stops writing.’

Milvain, with a clear vision of his friend in London, burst into laughter. But at that point Alfred rose from his chair.

Milvain, picturing his friend in London, burst out laughing. But at that moment, Alfred got up from his chair.

‘Shall we rejoin the ladies?’ he said, with a certain pedantry of phrase and manner which often characterised him.

"Shall we go back to the ladies?" he said, with a certain pedantic style and manner that often defined him.

‘Think over your ways whilst you’re still young,’ said John as he shook hands with his visitor.

‘Think about your choices while you’re still young,’ said John as he shook hands with his visitor.

‘Your brother speaks quite seriously, I suppose?’ Jasper remarked when he was in the garden with Alfred.

‘Your brother speaks very seriously, I guess?’ Jasper said when he was in the garden with Alfred.

‘I think so. It’s amusing now and then, but gets rather tiresome when you hear it often. By-the-bye, you are not personally acquainted with Mr Fadge?’

‘I think so. It’s funny every now and then, but it gets pretty annoying when you hear it a lot. By the way, you don’t happen to know Mr. Fadge personally, do you?’

‘I didn’t even know his name until you mentioned it.’

‘I didn’t even know his name until you brought it up.’

‘The most malicious man in the literary world. There’s no uncharitableness in feeling a certain pleasure when he gets into a scrape. I could tell you incredible stories about him; but that kind of thing is probably as little to your taste as it is to mine.’

‘The most ruthless person in the literary world. There's no shame in taking a bit of pleasure when he finds himself in trouble. I could share some unbelievable stories about him; but I guess that kind of thing is probably as unappealing to you as it is to me.’

Miss Harrow and her companions, having caught sight of the pair, came towards them. Tea was to be brought out into the garden.

Miss Harrow and her friends, having spotted the two, walked over to them. Tea was going to be served in the garden.

‘So you can sit with us and smoke, if you like,’ said Miss Harrow to Alfred. ‘You are never quite at your ease, I think, without a pipe.’

‘So you can join us and smoke if you want,’ Miss Harrow said to Alfred. ‘You never seem fully relaxed without a pipe.’

But the man of letters was too preoccupied for society. In a few minutes he begged that the ladies would excuse his withdrawing; he had two or three letters to write before post-time, which was early at Finden.

But the writer was too busy for company. In a few minutes, he asked the ladies to excuse him as he needed to write a couple of letters before the post went out, which was early in Finden.

Jasper, relieved by the veteran’s departure, began at once to make himself very agreeable company. When he chose to lay aside the topic of his own difficulties and ambitions, he could converse with a spontaneous gaiety which readily won the good-will of listeners. Naturally he addressed himself very often to Marian Yule, whose attention complimented him. She said little, and evidently was at no time a free talker, but the smile on her face indicated a mood of quiet enjoyment. When her eyes wandered, it was to rest on the beauties of the garden, the moving patches of golden sunshine, the forms of gleaming cloud. Jasper liked to observe her as she turned her head: there seemed to him a particular grace in the movement; her head and neck were admirably formed, and the short hair drew attention to this.

Jasper, relieved by the veteran’s departure, immediately set out to be very pleasant company. When he decided to put aside his own troubles and ambitions, he could engage in conversation with a natural cheerfulness that easily won over his listeners. Naturally, he often directed his attention toward Marian Yule, whose focus flattered him. She said little and was clearly not one for chitchat, but the smile on her face showed she was enjoying herself quietly. When her gaze drifted, it settled on the beauty of the garden, the moving patches of golden sunlight, and the shapes of glistening clouds. Jasper liked watching her as she turned her head; he thought there was a particular elegance in the movement; her head and neck were beautifully shaped, and her short hair highlighted this.

It was agreed that Miss Harrow and Marian should come on the second day after to have tea with the Milvains. And when Jasper took leave of Alfred Yule, the latter expressed a wish that they might have a walk together one of these mornings.

It was agreed that Miss Harrow and Marian would come over for tea with the Milvains on the second day after. And when Jasper said goodbye to Alfred Yule, Alfred expressed a desire for them to go for a walk together one of these mornings.





CHAPTER III. HOLIDAY

Jasper’s favourite walk led him to a spot distant perhaps a mile and a half from home. From a tract of common he turned into a short lane which crossed the Great Western railway, and thence by a stile into certain meadows forming a compact little valley. One recommendation of this retreat was that it lay sheltered from all winds; to Jasper a wind was objectionable. Along the bottom ran a clear, shallow stream, overhung with elder and hawthorn bushes; and close by the wooden bridge which spanned it was a great ash tree, making shadow for cows and sheep when the sun lay hot upon the open field. It was rare for anyone to come along this path, save farm labourers morning and evening.

Jasper’s favorite walk took him to a spot about a mile and a half from home. From a stretch of common land, he turned into a short lane that crossed the Great Western railway, and then through a stile into some meadows forming a cozy little valley. One of the great things about this spot was that it was sheltered from all winds; to Jasper, wind was a hassle. A clear, shallow stream ran along the bottom, shaded by elder and hawthorn bushes. Nearby, a wooden bridge spanned the stream, and there was a big ash tree providing shade for cows and sheep when the sun beat down on the open field. It was rare for anyone to walk down this path, except for farm laborers in the morning and evening.

But to-day—the afternoon that followed his visit to John Yule’s house—he saw from a distance that his lounging-place on the wooden bridge was occupied. Someone else had discovered the pleasure there was in watching the sun-flecked sparkle of the water as it flowed over the clean sand and stones. A girl in a yellow-straw hat; yes, and precisely the person he had hoped, at the first glance, that it might be. He made no haste as he drew nearer on the descending path. At length his footstep was heard; Marian Yule turned her head and clearly recognised him.

But today—the afternoon after his visit to John Yule’s house—he saw from a distance that his favorite spot on the wooden bridge was taken. Someone else had found joy in watching the sun-dappled sparkle of the water as it flowed over the clean sand and stones. A girl in a yellow straw hat; yes, exactly the person he had hoped, at first glance, it would be. He took his time as he walked closer down the path. Eventually, his footsteps were heard; Marian Yule turned her head and recognized him immediately.

She assumed an upright position, letting one of her hands rest upon the rail. After the exchange of ordinary greetings, Jasper leaned back against the same support and showed himself disposed for talk.

She stood up straight, resting one hand on the rail. After they exchanged casual greetings, Jasper leaned back against the same support and seemed ready to chat.

‘When I was here late in the spring,’ he said, ‘this ash was only just budding, though everything else seemed in full leaf.’

‘When I was here late in the spring,’ he said, ‘this ash was just starting to bud, even though everything else was fully green.’

‘An ash, is it?’ murmured Marian. ‘I didn’t know. I think an oak is the only tree I can distinguish. Yet,’ she added quickly, ‘I knew that the ash was late; some lines of Tennyson come to my memory.’

‘An ash, is it?’ whispered Marian. ‘I didn’t realize. I think the only tree I can recognize is an oak. Still,’ she added quickly, ‘I knew that the ash was late; some lines from Tennyson come to mind.’

‘Which are those?’

'Which ones are those?'

     ‘Delaying, as the tender ash delays
     To clothe herself when all the woods are green,
‘Delaying, like the gentle ash delays  
To dress herself when all the woods are green,

somewhere in the “Idylls.”’

somewhere in the "Idylls."

‘I don’t remember; so I won’t pretend to—though I should do so as a rule.’

‘I don’t remember, so I won’t pretend to—though I probably should.’

She looked at him oddly, and seemed about to laugh, yet did not.

She looked at him strangely and seemed like she was about to laugh, but she didn’t.

‘You have had little experience of the country?’ Jasper continued.

‘You haven't spent much time in the countryside?’ Jasper continued.

‘Very little. You, I think, have known it from childhood?’

‘Not much. I believe you’ve known it since childhood?’

‘In a sort of way. I was born in Wattleborough, and my people have always lived here. But I am not very rural in temperament. I have really no friends here; either they have lost interest in me, or I in them. What do you think of the girls, my sisters?’

‘In a way. I was born in Wattleborough, and my family has always lived here. But I’m not really a rural person at heart. I don’t have any real friends here; either they’ve lost interest in me, or I’ve lost interest in them. What do you think of the girls, my sisters?’

The question, though put with perfect simplicity, was embarrassing.

The question, although asked with complete simplicity, was awkward.

‘They are tolerably intellectual,’ Jasper went on, when he saw that it would be difficult for her to answer. ‘I want to persuade them to try their hands at literary work of some kind or other. They give lessons, and both hate it.’

‘They’re reasonably smart,’ Jasper continued, noticing it would be hard for her to respond. ‘I want to convince them to attempt some sort of writing work. They teach classes, and neither of them enjoys it.’

‘Would literary work be less—burdensome?’ said Marian, without looking at him.

‘Would literary work be less—burdensome?’ Marian asked, not looking at him.

‘Rather more so, you think?’

"More than that, you think?"

She hesitated.

She paused.

‘It depends, of course, on—on several things.’

‘It depends, of course, on a few different things.’

‘To be sure,’ Jasper agreed. ‘I don’t think they have any marked faculty for such work; but as they certainly haven’t for teaching, that doesn’t matter. It’s a question of learning a business. I am going through my apprenticeship, and find it a long affair. Money would shorten it, and, unfortunately, I have none.’

‘Sure,’ Jasper agreed. ‘I doubt they have any special talent for this kind of work; but since they definitely don’t have any for teaching, it’s irrelevant. It’s all about learning a trade. I’m currently doing my apprenticeship, and it’s taking a long time. Money would speed things up, and, unfortunately, I don’t have any.’

‘Yes,’ said Marian, turning her eyes upon the stream, ‘money is a help in everything.’

‘Yes,’ said Marian, looking at the stream, ‘money helps in everything.’

‘Without it, one spends the best part of one’s life in toiling for that first foothold which money could at once purchase. To have money is becoming of more and more importance in a literary career; principally because to have money is to have friends. Year by year, such influence grows of more account. A lucky man will still occasionally succeed by dint of his own honest perseverance, but the chances are dead against anyone who can’t make private interest with influential people; his work is simply overwhelmed by that of the men who have better opportunities.’

‘Without it, you spend most of your life working hard for that first step up, which money could easily buy. Having money is becoming more and more important in a literary career; mainly because having money means having friends. Year by year, this influence becomes more significant. A lucky person may still occasionally succeed through their own genuine effort, but the odds are stacked against anyone who can’t build personal connections with influential people; their work is simply overshadowed by those who have better opportunities.’

‘Don’t you think that, even to-day, really good work will sooner or later be recognised?’

‘Don’t you think that even today, really good work will eventually be recognized?’

‘Later, rather than sooner; and very likely the man can’t wait; he starves in the meantime. You understand that I am not speaking of genius; I mean marketable literary work. The quantity turned out is so great that there’s no hope for the special attention of the public unless one can afford to advertise hugely. Take the instance of a successful all-round man of letters; take Ralph Warbury, whose name you’ll see in the first magazine you happen to open. But perhaps he is a friend of yours?’

‘Later, rather than sooner; and it’s very likely the man can’t wait; he’s struggling in the meantime. You realize I’m not talking about genius; I mean sellable literary work. The amount produced is so vast that there’s no chance for the public to pay special attention unless one can afford to advertise significantly. Take the example of a successful versatile writer; take Ralph Warbury, whose name you’ll find in the first magazine you happen to open. But maybe he’s a friend of yours?’

‘Oh no!’

‘Oh no!’

‘Well, I wasn’t going to abuse him. I was only going to ask: Is there any quality which distinguishes his work from that of twenty struggling writers one could name? Of course not. He’s a clever, prolific man; so are they. But he began with money and friends; he came from Oxford into the thick of advertised people; his name was mentioned in print six times a week before he had written a dozen articles. This kind of thing will become the rule. Men won’t succeed in literature that they may get into society, but will get into society that they may succeed in literature.’

‘Well, I wasn’t going to insult him. I was just going to ask: Is there anything that sets his work apart from that of twenty other struggling writers we could name? Of course not. He’s a smart, productive guy; so are they. But he started with money and connections; he came from Oxford right into the midst of well-known people; his name was mentioned in print six times a week before he had even written a dozen articles. This kind of thing is going to become the norm. Men won’t succeed in literature to enter society, but will enter society to succeed in literature.’

‘Yes, I know it is true,’ said Marian, in a low voice.

‘Yeah, I know it’s true,’ said Marian, in a quiet voice.

‘There’s a friend of mine who writes novels,’ Jasper pursued. ‘His books are not works of genius, but they are glaringly distinct from the ordinary circulating novel. Well, after one or two attempts, he made half a success; that is to say, the publishers brought out a second edition of the book in a few months. There was his opportunity. But he couldn’t use it; he had no friends, because he had no money. A book of half that merit, if written by a man in the position of Warbury when he started, would have established the reputation of a lifetime. His influential friends would have referred to it in leaders, in magazine articles, in speeches, in sermons. It would have run through numerous editions, and the author would have had nothing to do but to write another book and demand his price. But the novel I’m speaking of was practically forgotten a year after its appearance; it was whelmed beneath the flood of next season’s literature.’

‘There’s a friend of mine who writes novels,’ Jasper continued. ‘His books aren’t masterpieces, but they stand out clearly from the typical popular novel. After a couple of tries, he had a bit of success; that is to say, the publishers released a second edition of the book a few months later. That was his chance. But he couldn’t take advantage of it; he had no connections because he had no money. A book of that quality, if written by someone in Warbury's position when he started, would have built a lifelong reputation. His influential friends would have mentioned it in major articles, magazine pieces, speeches, and sermons. It would have gone through multiple editions, and the author would only need to write another book and set his price. But the novel I’m talking about was basically forgotten a year after it came out; it was buried under the wave of next season’s literature.’

Marian urged a hesitating objection.

Marian voiced a hesitant objection.

‘But, under the circumstances, wasn’t it in the author’s power to make friends? Was money really indispensable?’

‘But, given the situation, wasn’t it up to the author to make friends? Was money really necessary?’

‘Why, yes—because he chose to marry. As a bachelor he might possibly have got into the right circles, though his character would in any case have made it difficult for him to curry favour.

‘Why, yes—because he chose to marry. As a single man, he might have been able to fit into the right circles, although his personality would have made it hard for him to win anyone over.

But as a married man, without means, the situation was hopeless. Once married you must live up to the standard of the society you frequent; you can’t be entertained without entertaining in return. Now if his wife had brought him only a couple of thousand pounds all might have been well. I should have advised him, in sober seriousness, to live for two years at the rate of a thousand a year. At the end of that time he would have been earning enough to continue at pretty much the same rate of expenditure.’

But as a married man without any money, the situation was hopeless. Once you're married, you have to meet the standards of the social circles you’re part of; you can’t be entertained without hosting in return. If his wife had brought him just a couple of thousand pounds, everything might have been fine. I would have seriously advised him to live for two years on a thousand a year. After that time, he would have been making enough to keep spending at pretty much the same level.

‘Perhaps.’

"Maybe."

‘Well, I ought rather to say that the average man of letters would be able to do that. As for Reardon—’

‘Well, I should say that the average writer would be able to do that. As for Reardon—’

He stopped. The name had escaped him unawares.

He stopped. The name had slipped his mind without him realizing it.

‘Reardon?’ said Marian, looking up. ‘You are speaking of him?’

‘Reardon?’ Marian asked, looking up. ‘Are you talking about him?’

‘I have betrayed myself Miss Yule.’

'I have betrayed myself, Miss Yule.'

‘But what does it matter? You have only spoken in his favour.’

‘But what does it matter? You’ve only spoken positively about him.’

‘I feared the name might affect you disagreeably.’

‘I was worried the name might bother you.’

Marian delayed her reply.

Marian took her time responding.

‘It is true,’ she said, ‘we are not on friendly terms with my cousin’s family. I have never met Mr Reardon. But I shouldn’t like you to think that the mention of his name is disagreeable to me.’

‘It’s true,’ she said, ‘we’re not on good terms with my cousin’s family. I’ve never met Mr. Reardon. But I wouldn’t want you to think that hearing his name bothers me.’

‘It made me slightly uncomfortable yesterday—the fact that I am well acquainted with Mrs Edmund Yule, and that Reardon is my friend. Yet I didn’t see why that should prevent my making your father’s acquaintance.’

‘It made me a bit uneasy yesterday—the fact that I know Mrs. Edmund Yule quite well and that Reardon is my friend. Still, I didn’t see why that should stop me from meeting your father.’

‘Surely not. I shall say nothing about it; I mean, as you uttered the name unintentionally.’

‘Definitely not. I won’t say anything about it; I mean, since you mentioned the name by accident.’

There was a pause in the dialogue. They had been speaking almost confidentially, and Marian seemed to become suddenly aware of an oddness in the situation. She turned towards the uphill path, as if thinking of resuming her walk.

There was a pause in the conversation. They had been talking almost privately, and Marian suddenly noticed something strange about the situation. She turned toward the uphill path, as if considering starting her walk again.

‘You are tired of standing still,’ said Jasper. ‘May I walk back a part of the way with you?’

‘You’re tired of standing still,’ Jasper said. ‘Can I walk part of the way back with you?’

‘Thank you; I shall be glad.’

“Thanks; I’ll be happy.”

They went on for a few minutes in silence.

They remained silent for a few minutes.

‘Have you published anything with your signature, Miss Yule?’ Jasper at length inquired.

"Have you published anything with your name on it, Miss Yule?" Jasper finally asked.

‘Nothing. I only help father a little.’

'Nothing. I just help my dad a bit.'

The silence that again followed was broken this time by Marian.

The silence that followed was broken this time by Marian.

‘When you chanced to mention Mr Reardon’s name,’ she said, with a diffident smile in which lay that suggestion of humour so delightful upon a woman’s face, ‘you were going to say something more about him?’

‘When you happened to mention Mr. Reardon’s name,’ she said, with a shy smile that held that charming hint of humor so appealing on a woman’s face, ‘were you going to say more about him?’

‘Only that—’ he broke off and laughed. ‘Now, how boyish it was, wasn’t it? I remember doing just the same thing once when I came home from school and had an exciting story to tell, with preservation of anonymities. Of course I blurted out a name in the first minute or two, to my father’s great amusement. He told me that I hadn’t the diplomatic character. I have been trying to acquire it ever since.

‘Only that—’ he paused and laughed. ‘Wasn’t that so childish? I remember doing the exact same thing once when I got home from school with an exciting story to tell, keeping names out of it. Of course, I ended up saying a name in the first minute or two, which really amused my dad. He told me that I just didn’t have the diplomatic skills. I’ve been trying to work on that ever since.

‘But why?’

‘But why though?’

‘It’s one of the essentials of success in any kind of public life. And I mean to succeed, you know. I feel that I am one of the men who do succeed. But I beg your pardon; you asked me a question. Really, I was only going to say of Reardon what I had said before: that he hasn’t the tact requisite for acquiring popularity.’

‘It’s one of the key factors for success in any public role. And I plan to succeed, you know. I believe I’m one of those who actually achieves success. But I’m sorry; you asked me a question. Honestly, I was just going to say what I’ve said before about Reardon: that he doesn’t have the social skills needed to gain popularity.’

‘Then I may hope that it isn’t his marriage with my cousin which has proved a fatal misfortune?’

‘Then I can hope that it isn’t his marriage to my cousin that has turned out to be a disastrous mistake?’

‘In no case,’ replied Milvain, averting his look, ‘would he have used his advantages.’

‘In no case,’ Milvain replied, looking away, ‘would he have taken advantage of his benefits.’

‘And now? Do you think he has but poor prospects?’

‘And now? Do you think his prospects are weak?’

‘I wish I could see any chance of his being estimated at his right value. It’s very hard to say what is before him.’

‘I wish I could see any chance of him being valued properly. It’s really hard to say what lies ahead for him.’

‘I knew my cousin Amy when we were children,’ said Marian, presently. ‘She gave promise of beauty.’

‘I knew my cousin Amy when we were kids,’ Marian said now. ‘She showed signs of being beautiful.’

‘Yes, she is beautiful.’

"Yeah, she's beautiful."

‘And—the kind of woman to be of help to such a husband?’

‘And—what kind of woman would be helpful to such a husband?’

‘I hardly know how to answer, Miss Yule,’ said Jasper, looking frankly at her. ‘Perhaps I had better say that it’s unfortunate they are poor.’

‘I’m not really sure how to respond, Miss Yule,’ said Jasper, looking directly at her. ‘Maybe I should just say that it’s a pity they’re poor.’

Marian cast down her eyes.

Marian looked down.

‘To whom isn’t it a misfortune?’ pursued her companion. ‘Poverty is the root of all social ills; its existence accounts even for the ills that arise from wealth. The poor man is a man labouring in fetters. I declare there is no word in our language which sounds so hideous to me as “Poverty.”’

‘Who doesn’t consider it a misfortune?’ her companion continued. ‘Poverty is the source of all social problems; its presence is responsible even for the issues that come from wealth. The poor man is someone working in chains. I swear there is no word in our language that sounds as awful to me as “Poverty.”’

Shortly after this they came to the bridge over the railway line. Jasper looked at his watch.

Shortly after this, they reached the bridge over the railway line. Jasper checked his watch.

‘Will you indulge me in a piece of childishness?’ he said. ‘In less than five minutes a London express goes by; I have often watched it here, and it amuses me. Would it weary you to wait?’

‘Will you indulge me in a bit of childishness?’ he said. ‘In less than five minutes, a London express train goes by; I’ve often watched it from here, and it entertains me. Would you mind waiting?’

‘I should like to,’ she replied with a laugh.

‘I’d like to,’ she replied with a laugh.

The line ran along a deep cutting, from either side of which grew hazel bushes and a few larger trees. Leaning upon the parapet of the bridge, Jasper kept his eye in the westward direction, where the gleaming rails were visible for more than a mile. Suddenly he raised his finger.

The track ran along a deep trench, with hazel bushes and a few larger trees growing on both sides. Leaning on the bridge's railing, Jasper looked westward, where the shiny rails stretched out for over a mile. Suddenly, he raised his finger.

‘You hear?’

"Did you hear?"

Marian had just caught the far-off sound of the train. She looked eagerly, and in a few moments saw it approaching. The front of the engine blackened nearer and nearer, coming on with dread force and speed. A blinding rush, and there burst against the bridge a great volley of sunlit steam. Milvain and his companion ran to the opposite parapet, but already the whole train had emerged, and in a few seconds it had disappeared round a sharp curve. The leafy branches that grew out over the line swayed violently backwards and forwards in the perturbed air.

Marian had just heard the distant sound of the train. She looked eagerly and, in a few moments, saw it coming closer. The front of the engine grew larger and larger, charging forward with terrifying force and speed. With a blinding rush, a massive cloud of bright steam burst against the bridge. Milvain and his friend rushed to the opposite railing, but the entire train had already come into view, and within seconds it had vanished around a sharp bend. The leafy branches that hung over the tracks swayed violently back and forth in the disturbed air.

‘If I were ten years younger,’ said Jasper, laughing, ‘I should say that was jolly! It enspirits me. It makes me feel eager to go back and plunge into the fight again.’

‘If I were ten years younger,’ said Jasper, laughing, ‘I’d say that was great! It lifts my spirits. It makes me feel excited to go back and dive into the battle again.’

‘Upon me it has just the opposite effect,’ fell from Marian, in very low tones.

“Actually, it has the opposite effect on me,” Marian said quietly.

‘Oh, don’t say that! Well, it only means that you haven’t had enough holiday yet. I have been in the country more than a week; a few days more and I must be off. How long do you think of staying?’

‘Oh, don’t say that! Well, it just means you haven’t had enough vacation yet. I’ve been in the countryside for over a week; a few more days and I have to leave. How long do you plan on staying?’

‘Not much more than a week, I think.’

‘Not much more than a week, I guess.’

‘By-the-bye, you are coming to have tea with us to-morrow,’ Jasper remarked a propos of nothing. Then he returned to another subject that was in his thoughts.

‘By the way, you’re coming over for tea with us tomorrow,’ Jasper said out of the blue. Then he shifted back to another topic that was on his mind.

‘It was by a train like that that I first went up to London. Not really the first time; I mean when I went to live there, seven years ago. What spirits I was in! A boy of eighteen going to live independently in London; think of it!’

‘It was on a train like that that I first went up to London. Well, not really the first time; I mean when I moved there, seven years ago. I was so excited! An eighteen-year-old heading to live on my own in London; can you believe it!’

‘You went straight from school?’

"Did you go straight from school?"

‘I was for two years at Redmayne College after leaving Wattleborough Grammar School. Then my father died, and I spent nearly half a year at home. I was meant to be a teacher, but the prospect of entering a school by no means appealed to me. A friend of mine was studying in London for some Civil Service exam., so I declared that I would go and do the same thing.’

‘I spent two years at Redmayne College after finishing Wattleborough Grammar School. Then my dad passed away, and I stayed at home for almost six months. I was supposed to become a teacher, but the idea of working in a school didn’t interest me at all. A friend of mine was preparing for a Civil Service exam in London, so I decided I would do the same.’

‘Did you succeed?’

"Did you make it?"

‘Not I! I never worked properly for that kind of thing. I read voraciously, and got to know London. I might have gone to the dogs, you know; but by when I had been in London a year a pretty clear purpose began to form in me. Strange to think that you were growing up there all the time. I may have passed you in the street now and then.’

‘Not me! I never really worked hard for that sort of thing. I read a lot and got to know London. I might have gone down a bad path, you know; but after I had been in London for a year, a clear purpose started to take shape in me. It's strange to think that you were growing up there all the time. I might have walked past you in the street now and then.’

Marian laughed.

Marian chuckled.

‘And I did at length see you at the British Museum, you know.’

'And I finally saw you at the British Museum, you know.'

They turned a corner of the road, and came full upon Marian’s father, who was walking in this direction with eyes fixed upon the ground.

They turned a corner of the road and came right up to Marian’s father, who was walking this way with his eyes focused on the ground.

‘So here you are!’ he exclaimed, looking at the girl, and for the moment paying no attention to Jasper. ‘I wondered whether I should meet you.’ Then, more dryly, ‘How do you do, Mr Milvain?’

‘So here you are!’ he exclaimed, looking at the girl and momentarily ignoring Jasper. ‘I was wondering if I’d run into you.’ Then, more matter-of-factly, ‘How do you do, Mr. Milvain?’

In a tone of easy indifference Jasper explained how he came to be accompanying Miss Yule.

In a casually indifferent tone, Jasper explained how he ended up accompanying Miss Yule.

‘Shall I walk on with you, father?’ Marian asked, scrutinising his rugged features.

‘Should I walk with you, Dad?’ Marian asked, studying his rugged features.

‘Just as you please; I don’t know that I should have gone much further. But we might take another way back.’

‘As you wish; I’m not sure I would have gone much further. But we could take a different way back.’

Jasper readily adapted himself to the wish he discerned in Mr Yule; at once he offered leave-taking in the most natural way. Nothing was said on either side about another meeting.

Jasper quickly adjusted to what he sensed was Mr. Yule's desire; he immediately offered his goodbye in the most casual manner. Neither of them mentioned anything about meeting again.

The young man proceeded homewards, but, on arriving, did not at once enter the house. Behind the garden was a field used for the grazing of horses; he entered it by the unfastened gate, and strolled idly hither and thither, now and then standing to observe a poor worn-out beast, all skin and bone, which had presumably been sent here in the hope that a little more labour might still be exacted from it if it were suffered to repose for a few weeks. There were sores upon its back and legs; it stood in a fixed attitude of despondency, just flicking away troublesome flies with its grizzled tail.

The young man headed home, but when he arrived, he didn't go straight inside. Behind the garden was a field where horses grazed; he walked through the unlocked gate and wandered around aimlessly, occasionally stopping to look at a poor, worn-out horse, nothing but skin and bones. It seemed to have been brought here in hopes that a bit more work could still be squeezed out of it after some rest for a few weeks. The horse had sores on its back and legs and stood there in a state of despair, swatting away annoying flies with its graying tail.

It was tea-time when he went in. Maud was not at home, and Mrs Milvain, tormented by a familiar headache, kept her room; so Jasper and Dora sat down together. Each had an open book on the table; throughout the meal they exchanged only a few words.

It was tea time when he walked in. Maud wasn't home, and Mrs. Milvain, troubled by a familiar headache, stayed in her room; so Jasper and Dora sat down together. Each had an open book on the table; during the meal, they only exchanged a few words.

‘Going to play a little?’ Jasper suggested when they had gone into the sitting-room.

‘Going to play a bit?’ Jasper suggested when they had entered the sitting room.

‘If you like.’

"Sure, if you want."

She sat down at the piano, whilst her brother lay on the sofa, his hands clasped beneath his head. Dora did not play badly, but an absentmindedness which was commonly observable in her had its effect upon the music. She at length broke off idly in the middle of a passage, and began to linger on careless chords. Then, without turning her head, she asked:

She sat down at the piano while her brother lay on the sofa, his hands clasped under his head. Dora didn’t play badly, but her usual absentmindedness affected the music. Eventually, she stopped in the middle of a passage and started to play some random chords. Then, without looking away, she asked:

‘Were you serious in what you said about writing storybooks?’

‘Were you serious about what you said regarding writing storybooks?’

‘Quite. I see no reason why you shouldn’t do something in that way. But I tell you what; when I get back, I’ll inquire into the state of the market. I know a man who was once engaged at Jolly & Monk’s—the chief publishers of that kind of thing, you know; I must look him up—what a mistake it is to neglect any acquaintance!—and get some information out of him. But it’s obvious what an immense field there is for anyone who can just hit the taste of the new generation of Board school children. Mustn’t be too goody-goody; that kind of thing is falling out of date. But you’d have to cultivate a particular kind of vulgarity.

‘Absolutely. I don’t see why you shouldn’t go about it that way. But here’s the deal; when I get back, I’ll check on the state of the market. I know someone who used to work at Jolly & Monk’s—the top publishers for that stuff, you know; I should reach out to him—what a mistake it is to ignore any connection!—and get some insight from him. But it’s clear there’s a huge opportunity for anyone who can capture the interest of the new generation of Board school kids. You can’t be too preachy; that approach is becoming outdated. But you’d need to embrace a specific kind of rawness.

There’s an idea, by-the-bye. I’ll write a paper on the characteristics of that new generation; it may bring me a few guineas, and it would be a help to you.’

There’s an idea, by the way. I’ll write a paper on the traits of that new generation; it might earn me some cash, and it would be helpful for you.’

‘But what do you know about the subject?’ asked Dora doubtfully.

‘But what do you know about this topic?’ asked Dora, unsure.

‘What a comical question! It is my business to know something about every subject—or to know where to get the knowledge.’

‘What a funny question! It’s my job to know a bit about every topic—or to know where to find the information.’

‘Well,’ said Dora, after a pause, ‘there’s no doubt Maud and I ought to think very seriously about the future. You are aware, Jasper, that mother has not been able to save a penny of her income.’

‘Well,’ said Dora, after a pause, ‘there’s no doubt that Maud and I really need to think seriously about the future. You know, Jasper, that Mom hasn’t been able to save a single penny from her earnings.’

‘I don’t see how she could have done. Of course I know what you’re thinking; but for me, it would have been possible. I don’t mind confessing to you that the thought troubles me a little now and then; I shouldn’t like to see you two going off governessing in strangers’ houses. All I can say is, that I am very honestly working for the end which I am convinced will be most profitable.

‘I don’t see how she could have done it. Of course, I know what you’re thinking; but for me, it would have been possible. I won’t lie, the thought does bother me a little from time to time; I wouldn’t want to see you two going off being governesses in strangers’ homes. All I can say is that I’m genuinely working towards an outcome that I believe will be the most beneficial.’

I shall not desert you; you needn’t fear that. But just put your heads together, and cultivate your writing faculty. Suppose you could both together earn about a hundred a year in Grub Street, it would be better than governessing; wouldn’t it?’

I won’t abandon you; you don’t need to worry about that. Just collaborate and work on your writing skills. If you could both manage to make around a hundred a year in Grub Street, it would be better than being a governess, right?

‘You say you don’t know what Miss Yule writes?’

‘You say you don’t know what Miss Yule writes?’

‘Well, I know a little more about her than I did yesterday. I’ve had an hour’s talk with her this afternoon.’

‘Well, I know a bit more about her than I did yesterday. I talked to her for an hour this afternoon.’

‘Indeed?’

'Really?'

‘Met her down in the Leggatt fields. I find she doesn’t write independently; just helps her father. What the help amounts to I can’t say. There’s something very attractive about her. She quoted a line or two of Tennyson; the first time I ever heard a woman speak blank verse with any kind of decency.’

‘Met her down in the Leggatt fields. I've noticed she doesn’t write on her own; she just assists her father. I can't say how much that help is worth. There's something really appealing about her. She quoted a line or two from Tennyson; it was the first time I ever heard a woman recite blank verse with any kind of grace.’

‘She was walking alone?’

"Was she walking alone?"

‘Yes. On the way back we met old Yule; he seemed rather grumpy, I thought. I don’t think she’s the kind of girl to make a paying business of literature. Her qualities are personal. And it’s pretty clear to me that the valley of the shadow of books by no means agrees with her disposition. Possibly old Yule is something of a tyrant.’

‘Yes. On the way back, we ran into old Yule; he seemed pretty grumpy, I thought. I don’t think she’s the kind of girl to make a profit from literature. Her qualities are personal. And it’s pretty clear to me that the world of books doesn’t really suit her temperament. Maybe old Yule is a bit of a tyrant.’

‘He doesn’t impress me very favourably. Do you think you will keep up their acquaintance in London?’

‘He doesn’t really impress me. Do you think you’ll stay in touch with them in London?’

‘Can’t say. I wonder what sort of a woman that mother really is? Can’t be so very gross, I should think.’

‘Can't say. I wonder what kind of woman that mother really is? Can't be that bad, I would think.’

‘Miss Harrow knows nothing about her, except that she was a quite uneducated girl.’

‘Miss Harrow knows nothing about her, except that she was a completely uneducated girl.’

‘But, dash it! by this time she must have got decent manners. Of course there may be other objections. Mrs Reardon knows nothing against her.’

‘But, damn it! by now she should have decent manners. Of course, there might be other issues. Mrs. Reardon doesn’t have anything against her.’

Midway in the following morning, as Jasper sat with a book in the garden, he was surprised to see Alfred Yule enter by the gate.

Midway through the next morning, as Jasper sat in the garden with a book, he was surprised to see Alfred Yule walk in through the gate.

‘I thought,’ began the visitor, who seemed in high spirits, ‘that you might like to see something I received this morning.’

‘I thought,’ began the visitor, who seemed really cheerful, ‘that you might want to see something I got this morning.’

He unfolded a London evening paper, and indicated a long letter from a casual correspondent. It was written by the authoress of ‘On the Boards,’ and drew attention, with much expenditure of witticism, to the conflicting notices of that book which had appeared in The Study. Jasper read the thing with laughing appreciation.

He opened a London evening newspaper and pointed out a long letter from a random correspondent. It was written by the author of 'On the Boards' and humorously highlighted the contradictory reviews of that book that had been published in The Study. Jasper read it with a chuckle.

‘Just what one expected!’

"Exactly what was expected!"

‘And I have private letters on the subject,’ added Mr Yule.

‘And I have private letters about it,’ added Mr. Yule.

‘There has been something like a personal conflict between Fadge and the man who looks after the minor notices. Fadge, more so, charged the other man with a design to damage him and the paper. There’s talk of legal proceedings. An immense joke!’

‘There’s been some kind of personal clash between Fadge and the guy who handles the minor notices. Fadge, especially, accused the other man of trying to harm him and the paper. There’s gossip about legal action. What a huge joke!’

He laughed in his peculiar croaking way.

He laughed in his unique croaky voice.

‘Do you feel disposed for a turn along the lanes, Mr Milvain?’

‘Do you feel like going for a walk along the lanes, Mr. Milvain?’

‘By all means.—There’s my mother at the window; will you come in for a moment?’

‘Of course.—There’s my mom at the window; do you want to come in for a minute?’

With a step of quite unusual sprightliness Mr Yule entered the house. He could talk of but one subject, and Mrs Milvain had to listen to a laboured account of the blunder just committed by The Study. It was Alfred’s Yule’s characteristic that he could do nothing lighthandedly. He seemed always to converse with effort; he took a seat with stiff ungainliness; he walked with a stumbling or sprawling gait.

With an unusually cheerful step, Mr. Yule entered the house. He had only one topic to discuss, and Mrs. Milvain had to endure a tedious explanation of the mistake just made by The Study. Alfred Yule had a tendency to do everything in an awkward manner. He always seemed to engage in conversation with difficulty; he sat down clumsily; he walked in a stumbling or awkward way.

When he and Jasper set out for their ramble, his loquacity was in strong contrast with the taciturn mood he had exhibited yesterday and the day before. He fell upon the general aspects of contemporary literature.

When he and Jasper went out for their walk, he was chatting away, which was a stark contrast to the quiet mood he had shown yesterday and the day before. He started discussing the overall themes of modern literature.

‘... The evil of the time is the multiplication of ephemerides. Hence a demand for essays, descriptive articles, fragments of criticism, out of all proportion to the supply of even tolerable work. The men who have an aptitude for turning out this kind of thing in vast quantities are enlisted by every new periodical, with the result that their productions are ultimately watered down into worthlessness.... Well now, there’s Fadge. Years ago some of Fadge’s work was not without a certain—a certain conditional promise of—of comparative merit; but now his writing, in my opinion, is altogether beneath consideration; how Rackett could be so benighted as to give him The Study—especially after a man like Henry Hawkridge—passes my comprehension. Did you read a paper of his, a few months back, in The Wayside, a preposterous rehabilitation of Elkanah Settle? Ha! Ha! That’s what such men are driven to. Elkanah Settle! And he hadn’t even a competent acquaintance with his paltry subject. Will you credit that he twice or thrice referred to Settle’s reply to “Absalom and Achitophel” by the title of “Absalom Transposed,” when every schoolgirl knows that the thing was called “Achitophel Transposed”! This was monstrous enough, but there was something still more contemptible. He positively, I assure you, attributed the play of “Epsom Wells” to Crowne! I should have presumed that every student of even the most trivial primer of literature was aware that “Epsom Wells” was written by Shadwell.... Now, if one were to take Shadwell for the subject of a paper, one might very well show how unjustly his name has fallen into contempt. It has often occurred to me to do this. “But Shadwell never deviates into sense.” The sneer, in my opinion, is entirely unmerited. For my own part, I put Shadwell very high among the dramatists of his time, and I think I could show that his absolute worth is by no means inconsiderable. Shadwell has distinct vigour of dramatic conception; his dialogue....’

‘... The problem nowadays is the sheer number of shallow publications. There's a huge demand for essays, descriptive articles, and bits of criticism, far greater than the supply of even decent work. The writers who can churn out this stuff in large amounts are snapped up by every new magazine, leading to their work being diluted and losing all value. Well, take Fadge, for instance. Years ago, some of Fadge's work had a hint of—well, a hint of potential merit; but now, in my opinion, his writing is completely unworthy of consideration. I can't understand how Rackett could be so blind as to give him The Study—especially after someone like Henry Hawkridge. Did you read one of his papers a few months ago in The Wayside, a ridiculous attempt to rehabilitate Elkanah Settle? Ha! Ha! That's what such guys are forced to do. Elkanah Settle! And he didn’t even have a proper grasp of his trivial subject. Can you believe he referred to Settle's response to “Absalom and Achitophel” as “Absalom Transposed” not once, but two or three times, when every schoolgirl knows it was called “Achitophel Transposed”! That was bad enough, but what’s even worse is that he actually credited the play “Epsom Wells” to Crowne! I would have thought anyone who’s read even the most basic literature primer would know “Epsom Wells” was written by Shadwell.... Now, if one were to write a paper on Shadwell, it would be quite valid to explore how unfairly his name has fallen into disrepute. I've often thought of doing this. “But Shadwell never makes sense.” I think that criticism is completely unfounded. Personally, I hold Shadwell in high regard among the dramatists of his time, and I believe I could demonstrate that his genuine value is far from insignificant. Shadwell possesses a clear vigor in his dramatic ideas; his dialogue....’

And as he talked the man kept describing imaginary geometrical figures with the end of his walking-stick; he very seldom raised his eyes from the ground, and the stoop in his shoulders grew more and more pronounced, until at a little distance one might have taken him for a hunchback. At one point Jasper made a pause to speak of the pleasant wooded prospect that lay before them; his companion regarded it absently, and in a moment or two asked:

And while he talked, the guy kept sketching imaginary geometric shapes with the tip of his walking stick; he hardly ever looked up from the ground, and the slump in his shoulders became more and more noticeable, until from a distance, one might have mistaken him for a hunchback. At one point, Jasper paused to mention the nice wooded view ahead of them; his companion glanced at it absentmindedly, and after a moment or two asked:

‘Did you ever come across Cottle’s poem on the Malvern Hills? No?

‘Did you ever come across Cottle’s poem about the Malvern Hills? No?

It contains a couple of the richest lines ever put into print:

It includes some of the richest lines ever written:

      It needs the evidence of close deduction
      To know that I shall ever reach the top.
      It requires solid reasoning  
      To believe that I will ever make it to the top.

Perfectly serious poetry, mind you!’

Totally serious poetry, just so you know!

He barked in laughter. Impossible to interest him in anything apart from literature; yet one saw him to be a man of solid understanding, and not without perception of humour. He had read vastly; his memory was a literary cyclopaedia. His failings, obvious enough, were the results of a strong and somewhat pedantic individuality ceaselessly at conflict with unpropitious circumstances.

He laughed out loud. It was impossible to get him interested in anything other than literature; still, it was clear that he was a man of solid understanding and had a good sense of humor. He had read extensively; his memory was like a literary encyclopedia. His flaws, which were quite evident, stemmed from a strong and somewhat pedantic personality that was constantly at odds with unfavorable circumstances.

Towards the young man his demeanour varied between a shy cordiality and a dignified reserve which was in danger of seeming pretentious. On the homeward part of the walk he made a few discreet inquiries regarding Milvain’s literary achievements and prospects, and the frank self-confidence of the replies appeared to interest him. But he expressed no desire to number Jasper among his acquaintances in town, and of his own professional or private concerns he said not a word.

Towards the young man, his behavior shifted between a shy friendliness and a dignified distance that risked coming off as pretentious. On the way home, he asked a few careful questions about Milvain's writing accomplishments and future plans, and he seemed intrigued by the frank self-assurance in the answers. However, he showed no interest in adding Jasper to his circle of acquaintances in the city, and he didn’t mention anything about his own professional or personal matters.

‘Whether he could be any use to me or not, I don’t exactly know,’ Jasper remarked to his mother and sisters at dinner. ‘I suspect it’s as much as he can do to keep a footing among the younger tradesmen. But I think he might have said he was willing to help me if he could.’

‘Whether he can be of any help to me or not, I’m not really sure,’ Jasper said to his mom and sisters at dinner. ‘I suspect it’s all he can manage to stay relevant among the younger tradesmen. But I think he could have mentioned that he’s willing to help me if possible.’

‘Perhaps,’ replied Maud, ‘your large way of talking made him think any such offer superfluous.’

"Maybe," Maud replied, "your grand way of speaking made him feel that any such offer was unnecessary."

‘You have still to learn,’ said Jasper, ‘that modesty helps a man in no department of modern life. People take you at your own valuation. It’s the men who declare boldly that they need no help to whom practical help comes from all sides. As likely as not Yule will mention my name to someone. “A young fellow who seems to see his way pretty clear before him.” The other man will repeat it to somebody else, “A young fellow whose way is clear before him,” and so I come to the ears of a man who thinks “Just the fellow I want; I must look him up and ask him if he’ll do such-and-such a thing.” But I should like to see these Yules at home; I must fish for an invitation.’

“You still need to learn,” said Jasper, “that being humble doesn’t help a guy in any part of modern life. People see you the way you see yourself. It’s the guys who confidently say they don’t need any help who get practical support from everywhere. Most likely, Yule will mention my name to someone. ‘A young guy who seems to have a clear path ahead of him.’ The other person will pass it on to someone else, ‘A young guy whose path is clear ahead of him,’ and then I get noticed by someone who thinks, ‘Just the person I need; I must find him and see if he’ll help with such-and-such.’ But I’d really like to see these Yules at home; I need to work on getting an invitation.”

In the afternoon, Miss Harrow and Marian came at the expected hour. Jasper purposely kept out of the way until he was summoned to the tea-table.

In the afternoon, Miss Harrow and Marian arrived right on time. Jasper intentionally stayed out of sight until he was called to the tea table.

The Milvain girls were so far from effusive, even towards old acquaintances, that even the people who knew them best spoke of them as rather cold and perhaps a trifle condescending; there were people in Wattleborough who declared their airs of superiority ridiculous and insufferable. The truth was that nature had endowed them with a larger share of brains than was common in their circle, and had added that touch of pride which harmonised so ill with the restrictions of poverty. Their life had a tone of melancholy, the painful reserve which characterises a certain clearly defined class in the present day. Had they been born twenty years earlier, the children of that veterinary surgeon would have grown up to a very different, and in all probability a much happier, existence, for their education would have been limited to the strictly needful, and—certainly in the case of the girls—nothing would have encouraged them to look beyond the simple life possible to a poor man’s offspring. But whilst Maud and Dora were still with their homely schoolmistress, Wattleborough saw fit to establish a Girls’ High School, and the moderateness of the fees enabled these sisters to receive an intellectual training wholly incompatible with the material conditions of their life. To the relatively poor (who are so much worse off than the poor absolutely) education is in most cases a mocking cruelty. The burden of their brother’s support made it very difficult for Maud and Dora even to dress as became their intellectual station; amusements, holidays, the purchase of such simple luxuries as were all but indispensable to them, could not be thought of. It resulted that they held apart from the society which would have welcomed them, for they could not bear to receive without offering in turn. The necessity of giving lessons galled them; they felt—and with every reason—that it made their position ambiguous. So that, though they could not help knowing many people, they had no intimates; they encouraged no one to visit them, and visited other houses as little as might be.

The Milvain girls were so far from being warm or friendly, even to old acquaintances, that even those who knew them best described them as rather cold and maybe a bit condescending; some people in Wattleborough thought their sense of superiority was absurd and unbearable. The truth was that they were naturally smarter than most people in their circle and had a touch of pride that didn’t fit well with their poor circumstances. Their lives had a melancholy tone, marked by the painful restraint that characterizes a specific social class today. If they had been born twenty years earlier, the children of that veterinary surgeon would have grown up in a very different, likely happier, situation, as their education would have been limited to essential needs, and—especially for the girls—nothing would have prompted them to aspire beyond the simple life typical of a poor man’s children. But while Maud and Dora were still with their modest schoolteacher, Wattleborough decided to create a Girls’ High School, and the affordable fees allowed these sisters to receive an education that didn’t align with their financial reality. For those who are relatively poor (who are in a much worse situation than the absolutely poor), education often feels like a cruel joke. The responsibility of supporting their brother made it very hard for Maud and Dora even to dress appropriately for their intellectual status; they couldn’t consider entertainment, vacations, or buying simple luxuries that were almost essential for them. As a result, they kept their distance from the society that would have welcomed them, as they couldn’t stand receiving without being able to give something in return. The need to give lessons frustrated them; they felt—and with good reason—that it made their position unclear. Thus, even though they knew many people, they had no close friends; they didn’t encourage anyone to visit them and rarely visited others.

In Marian Yule they divined a sympathetic nature. She was unlike any girl with whom they had hitherto associated, and it was the impulse of both to receive her with unusual friendliness. The habit of reticence could not be at once overcome, and Marian’s own timidity was an obstacle in the way of free intercourse, but Jasper’s conversation at tea helped to smooth the course of things.

In Marian Yule, they saw a kind and understanding nature. She was different from any girl they had met before, and both felt a strong urge to welcome her with extra warmth. Their usual shyness was hard to break, and Marian’s own nervousness made it tough to connect freely, but Jasper’s talk during tea helped make things easier.

‘I wish you lived anywhere near us,’ Dora said to their visitor, as the three girls walked in the garden afterwards, and Maud echoed the wish.

"I wish you lived close to us," Dora said to their guest, as the three girls strolled in the garden afterwards, and Maud agreed with her.

‘It would be very nice,’ was Marian’s reply. ‘I have no friends of my own age in London.’

‘That would be great,’ Marian replied. ‘I don’t have any friends my age in London.’

‘None?’

‘No one?’

‘Not one!’

“Not a single one!”

She was about to add something, but in the end kept silence.

She was about to say something, but in the end, she stayed silent.

‘You seem to get along with Miss Yule pretty well, after all,’ said Jasper, when the family were alone again.

‘You seem to get along with Miss Yule pretty well, after all,’ said Jasper, when the family was alone again.

‘Did you anticipate anything else?’ Maud asked.

"Did you expect anything different?" Maud asked.

‘It seemed doubtful, up at Yule’s house. Well, get her to come here again before I go. But it’s a pity she doesn’t play the piano,’ he added, musingly.

‘It seemed uncertain at Yule’s place. Well, let’s get her to come here again before I leave. But it’s a shame she doesn’t play the piano,’ he added, thoughtfully.

For two days nothing was seen of the Yules. Jasper went each afternoon to the stream in the valley, but did not again meet Marian. In the meanwhile he was growing restless. A fortnight always exhausted his capacity for enjoying the companionship of his mother and sisters, and this time he seemed anxious to get to the end of his holiday. For all that, there was no continuance of the domestic bickering which had begun. Whatever the reason, Maud behaved with unusual mildness to her brother, and Jasper in turn was gently disposed to both the girls.

For two days, there was no sign of the Yules. Jasper went to the stream in the valley each afternoon, but he didn’t see Marian again. Meanwhile, he was becoming restless. A fortnight always drained his ability to enjoy time with his mother and sisters, and this time he seemed eager for his holiday to end. Despite that, the family arguments that had started didn't continue. For some reason, Maud was unusually gentle with her brother, and Jasper, in turn, was kind to both girls.

On the morning of the third day—it was Saturday—he kept silence through breakfast, and just as all were about to rise from the table, he made a sudden announcement:

On the morning of the third day—it was Saturday—he remained quiet during breakfast, and just as everyone was about to get up from the table, he made a sudden announcement:

‘I shall go to London this afternoon.’

‘I’m going to London this afternoon.’

‘This afternoon?’ all exclaimed. ‘But Monday is your day.’

‘This afternoon?’ everyone said. ‘But Monday is your day.’

‘No, I shall go this afternoon, by the 2.45.’

‘No, I’ll go this afternoon, on the 2:45.’

And he left the room. Mrs Milvain and the girls exchanged looks.

And he left the room. Mrs. Milvain and the girls exchanged glances.

‘I suppose he thinks the Sunday will be too wearisome,’ said the mother.

‘I guess he thinks Sunday will be too boring,’ said the mother.

‘Perhaps so,’ Maud agreed, carelessly.

"Maybe," Maud agreed, casually.

Half an hour later, just as Dora was ready to leave the house for her engagements in Wattleborough, her brother came into the hall and took his hat, saying:

Half an hour later, just as Dora was about to leave the house for her appointments in Wattleborough, her brother walked into the hallway and grabbed his hat, saying:

‘I’ll walk a little way with you, if you don’t mind.’

‘I’ll walk a bit with you, if that’s okay.’

When they were in the road, he asked her in an offhand manner:

When they were on the road, he casually asked her:

‘Do you think I ought to say good-bye to the Yules? Or won’t it signify?’

‘Do you think I should say goodbye to the Yules? Or does it not matter?’

‘I should have thought you would wish to.’

'I thought you would want to.'

‘I don’t care about it. And, you see, there’s been no hint of a wish on their part that I should see them in London. No, I’ll just leave you to say good-bye for me.’

‘I don’t care about it. And, you see, there’s been no suggestion from them that I should see them in London. No, I’ll just let you say goodbye for me.’

‘But they expect to see us to-day or to-morrow. You told them you were not going till Monday, and you don’t know but Mr Yule might mean to say something yet.’

'But they expect to see us today or tomorrow. You told them you weren’t going until Monday, and you don’t know if Mr. Yule might still want to say something.'

‘Well, I had rather he didn’t,’ replied Jasper, with a laugh.

'Well, I'd prefer if he didn't,' replied Jasper, laughing.

‘Oh, indeed?’

"Oh, really?"

‘I don’t mind telling you,’ he laughed again. ‘I’m afraid of that girl. No, it won’t do! You understand that I’m a practical man, and I shall keep clear of dangers. These days of holiday idleness put all sorts of nonsense into one’s head.’

‘I don’t mind telling you,’ he laughed again. ‘I’m scared of that girl. No, that won’t work! You get that I’m a practical guy, and I’m going to stay away from dangers. This holiday laziness puts all kinds of nonsense in your head.’

Dora kept her eyes down, and smiled ambiguously.

Dora looked down and smiled in a slightly unclear way.

‘You must act as you think fit,’ she remarked at length.

‘You should do what you think is best,’ she said finally.

‘Exactly. Now I’ll turn back. You’ll be with us at dinner?’

'Exactly. I'm going to head back now. Will you join us for dinner?'

They parted. But Jasper did not keep to the straight way home. First of all, he loitered to watch a reaping-machine at work; then he turned into a lane which led up the hill on which was John Yule’s house. Even if he had purposed making a farewell call, it was still far too early; all he wanted to do was to pass an hour of the morning, which threatened to lie heavy on his hands. So he rambled on, and went past the house, and took the field-path which would lead him circuitously home again.

They went their separate ways. But Jasper didn’t head straight home. First, he stopped to watch a reaping machine in action; then he wandered down a lane that led up to John Yule’s house. Even if he meant to drop by for a goodbye, it was way too early for that; all he really wanted was to kill some time in the morning, which felt like it would drag on. So he strolled past the house and took the path through the fields that would eventually lead him home.

His mother desired to speak to him. She was in the dining-room; in the parlour Maud was practising music.

His mom wanted to talk to him. She was in the dining room; in the living room, Maud was practicing music.

‘I think I ought to tell you of something I did yesterday, Jasper,’ Mrs Milvain began. ‘You see, my dear, we have been rather straitened lately, and my health, you know, grows so uncertain, and, all things considered, I have been feeling very anxious about the girls. So I wrote to your uncle William, and told him that I must positively have that money. I must think of my own children before his.’

‘I think I should tell you about something I did yesterday, Jasper,’ Mrs. Milvain started. ‘You see, my dear, we’ve been a bit tight on money lately, and my health, as you know, is quite unpredictable, and, all things considered, I’ve been really worried about the girls. So, I wrote to your uncle William and let him know that I absolutely need that money. I have to prioritize my own children over his.’

The matter referred to was this. The deceased Mr Milvain had a brother who was a struggling shopkeeper in a Midland town. Some ten years ago, William Milvain, on the point of bankruptcy, had borrowed a hundred and seventy pounds from his brother in Wattleborough, and this debt was still unpaid; for on the death of Jasper’s father repayment of the loan was impossible for William, and since then it had seemed hopeless that the sum would ever be recovered. The poor shopkeeper had a large family, and Mrs Milvain, notwithstanding her own position, had never felt able to press him; her relative, however, often spoke of the business, and declared his intention of paying whenever he could.

The situation was as follows. The late Mr. Milvain had a brother who was a struggling shopkeeper in a town in the Midlands. About ten years ago, William Milvain, facing bankruptcy, borrowed one hundred seventy pounds from his brother in Wattleborough, and he still hadn't paid it back. After Jasper’s father passed away, William found it impossible to repay the loan, and since then, it seemed unlikely the money would ever be recovered. The poor shopkeeper had a large family, and Mrs. Milvain, despite her own circumstance, never felt she could pressure him for repayment; however, her relative often brought up the debt and claimed he intended to pay it back when he could.

‘You can’t recover by law now, you know,’ said Jasper.

'You can't get anything back through legal means right now, you know,' said Jasper.

‘But we have a right to the money, law or no law. He must pay it.’

‘But we have a right to the money, law or no law. He has to pay it.’

‘He will simply refuse—and be justified. Poverty doesn’t allow of honourable feeling, any more than of compassion. I’m sorry you wrote like that. You won’t get anything, and you might as well have enjoyed the reputation of forbearance.’

‘He will just refuse—and he'll have every right to. Poverty doesn’t allow for honorable feelings any more than it allows for compassion. I’m sorry you wrote that way. You won’t get anything, and you might as well have enjoyed the reputation for being patient.’

Mrs Milvain was not able to appreciate this characteristic remark. Anxiety weighed upon her, and she became irritable.

Mrs. Milvain couldn't appreciate this remark. Anxiety hung over her, and she got irritable.

‘I am obliged to say, Jasper, that you seem rather thoughtless. If it were only myself I would make any sacrifice for you; but you must remember—’

‘I have to say, Jasper, that you seem pretty thoughtless. If it were just me, I would do anything for you; but you need to remember—’

‘Now listen, mother,’ he interrupted, laying a hand on her shoulder; ‘I have been thinking about all this, and the fact of the matter is, I shall do my best to ask you for no more money. It may or may not be practicable, but I’ll have a try. So don’t worry. If uncle writes that he can’t pay, just explain why you wrote, and keep him gently in mind of the thing, that’s all. One doesn’t like to do brutal things if one can avoid them, you know.’

‘Now listen, Mom,’ he interrupted, placing a hand on her shoulder. ‘I’ve been thinking about all this, and the truth is, I’ll do my best to not ask you for any more money. It might be possible or it might not, but I’ll give it a shot. So don’t stress. If Uncle writes back saying he can’t pay, just explain why you reached out and gently remind him about it, that’s all. Nobody likes to be harsh if they can help it, you know.’

The young man went to the parlour and listened to Maud’s music for awhile. But restlessness again drove him forth. Towards eleven o’clock he was again ascending in the direction of John Yule’s house. Again he had no intention of calling, but when he reached the iron gates he lingered.

The young man went to the living room and listened to Maud’s music for a while. But restlessness soon pushed him to leave again. Around eleven o’clock, he was heading back toward John Yule’s house. He still didn’t plan on stopping by, but when he got to the iron gates, he hesitated.

‘I will, by Jove!’ he said within himself at last. ‘Just to prove I have complete command of myself. It’s to be a display of strength, not weakness.’

‘I will, for sure!’ he thought to himself at last. ‘Just to show I have full control over myself. It’s meant to be a show of strength, not weakness.’

At the house door he inquired for Mr Alfred Yule. That gentleman had gone in the carriage to Wattleborough, half an hour ago, with his brother.

At the front door, he asked for Mr. Alfred Yule. That guy had left in the carriage for Wattleborough half an hour ago with his brother.

‘Miss Yule?’

'Ms. Yule?'

Yes, she was within. Jasper entered the sitting-room, waited a few moments, and Marian appeared. She wore a dress in which Milvain had not yet seen her, and it had the effect of making him regard her attentively. The smile with which she had come towards him passed from her face, which was perchance a little warmer of hue than commonly.

Yes, she was inside. Jasper walked into the living room, waited a moment, and Marian showed up. She was wearing a dress that Milvain hadn't seen her in before, and it made him look at her closely. The smile she had when she approached him faded from her face, which was perhaps a bit more flushed than usual.

‘I’m sorry your father is away, Miss Yule,’ Jasper began, in an animated voice. ‘I wanted to say good-bye to him. I return to London in a few hours.’

‘I’m sorry your dad is away, Miss Yule,’ Jasper started, in an upbeat voice. ‘I wanted to say goodbye to him. I’m heading back to London in a few hours.’

‘You are going sooner than you intended?’

'Are you leaving sooner than you planned?'

‘Yes, I feel I mustn’t waste any more time. I think the country air is doing you good; you certainly look better than when I passed you that first day.’

‘Yes, I feel like I shouldn’t waste any more time. I think the country air is doing you good; you definitely look better than when I saw you that first day.’

‘I feel better, much.’

"I feel much better."

‘My sisters are anxious to see you again. I shouldn’t wonder if they come up this afternoon.’

‘My sisters are eager to see you again. I wouldn’t be surprised if they come over this afternoon.’

Marian had seated herself on the sofa, and her hands were linked upon her lap in the same way as when Jasper spoke with her here before, the palms downward. The beautiful outline of her bent head was relieved against a broad strip of sunlight on the wall behind her.

Marian had sat down on the sofa, and her hands were clasped on her lap just like when Jasper talked to her here before, palms facing down. The lovely shape of her bent head was highlighted by a wide patch of sunlight on the wall behind her.

‘They deplore,’ he continued in a moment, ‘that they should come to know you only to lose you again so soon.

“They regret,” he continued after a moment, “that they’ve come to know you only to lose you again so quickly.”

‘I have quite as much reason to be sorry,’ she answered, looking at him with the slightest possible smile. ‘But perhaps they will let me write to them, and hear from them now and then.’

‘I have just as much reason to be sorry,’ she replied, giving him the faintest smile. ‘But maybe they’ll let me write to them and hear from them every once in a while.’

‘They would think it an honour. Country girls are not often invited to correspond with literary ladies in London.’

‘They would see it as an honor. Country girls aren't often invited to communicate with literary women in London.’

He said it with as much jocoseness as civility allowed, then at once rose.

He said it as playfully as politeness would allow, then immediately stood up.

‘Father will be very sorry,’ Marian began, with one quick glance towards the window and then another towards the door. ‘Perhaps he might possibly be able to see you before you go?’

‘Dad will be really sorry,’ Marian started, glancing quickly at the window and then at the door. ‘Maybe he could see you before you leave?’

Jasper stood in hesitation. There was a look on the girl’s face which, under other circumstances, would have suggested a ready answer.

Jasper paused, unsure. The expression on the girl's face, in any other situation, would have hinted at a quick response.

‘I mean,’ she added, hastily, ‘he might just call, or even see you at the station?’

“I mean,” she added quickly, “he could just call or maybe even see you at the station?”

‘Oh, I shouldn’t like to give Mr Yule any trouble. It’s my own fault, for deciding to go to-day. I shall leave by the 2.45.’

‘Oh, I wouldn’t want to burden Mr. Yule. It’s my own fault for choosing to go today. I’ll be leaving by the 2:45.’

He offered his hand.

He extended his hand.

‘I shall look for your name in the magazines, Miss Yule.’

‘I will look for your name in the magazines, Miss Yule.’

‘Oh, I don’t think you will ever find it there.’

‘Oh, I don’t think you’ll ever find it there.’

He laughed incredulously, shook hands with her a second time, and strode out of the room, head erect—feeling proud of himself.

He laughed in disbelief, shook her hand again, and marched out of the room, head held high—feeling proud of himself.

When Dora came home at dinner-time, he informed her of what he had done.

When Dora got home for dinner, he told her what he had done.

‘A very interesting girl,’ he added impartially. ‘I advise you to make a friend of her. Who knows but you may live in London some day, and then she might be valuable—morally, I mean. For myself, I shall do my best not to see her again for a long time; she’s dangerous.’

‘A really interesting girl,’ he said without bias. ‘I suggest you become friends with her. You never know, you might end up living in London someday, and she could be useful—morally speaking. As for me, I’ll try my hardest not to see her again for a while; she’s a risk.’

Jasper was unaccompanied when he went to the station. Whilst waiting on the platform, he suffered from apprehension lest Alfred Yule’s seamed visage should present itself; but no acquaintance approached him. Safe in the corner of his third-class carriage, he smiled at the last glimpse of the familiar fields, and began to think of something he had decided to write for The West End.

Jasper went to the station alone. While he waited on the platform, he felt nervous that Alfred Yule might show up; but no one he knew approached him. Comfortable in the corner of his third-class carriage, he smiled at the last sight of the familiar fields and started to think about something he had planned to write for The West End.





CHAPTER IV. AN AUTHOR AND HIS WIFE

Eight flights of stairs, consisting alternately of eight and nine steps. Amy had made the calculation, and wondered what was the cause of this arrangement. The ascent was trying, but then no one could contest the respectability of the abode. In the flat immediately beneath resided a successful musician, whose carriage and pair came at a regular hour each afternoon to take him and his wife for a most respectable drive. In this special building no one else seemed at present to keep a carriage, but all the tenants were gentlefolk.

Eight flights of stairs, alternating between eight and nine steps. Amy had done the math and wondered why it was set up this way. The climb was tough, but no one could argue with the prestige of the place. Right below her lived a successful musician, whose pair of horses and carriage arrived like clockwork every afternoon to take him and his wife out for a very respectable drive. In this particular building, it seemed that no one else currently owned a carriage, but all the residents were well-to-do.

And as to living up at the very top, why, there were distinct advantages—as so many people of moderate income are nowadays hastening to discover. The noise from the street was diminished at this height; no possible tramplers could establish themselves above your head; the air was bound to be purer than that of inferior strata; finally, one had the flat roof whereon to sit or expatiate in sunny weather. True that a gentle rain of soot was wont to interfere with one’s comfort out there in the open, but such minutiae are easily forgotten in the fervour of domestic description. It was undeniable that on a fine day one enjoyed extensive views. The green ridge from Hampstead to Highgate, with Primrose Hill and the foliage of Regent’s Park in the foreground; the suburban spaces of St John’s Wood, Maida Vale, Kilburn; Westminster Abbey and the Houses of Parliament, lying low by the side of the hidden river, and a glassy gleam on far-off hills which meant the Crystal Palace; then the clouded majesty of eastern London, crowned by St Paul’s dome. These things one’s friends were expected to admire. Sunset often afforded rich effects, but they were for solitary musing.

And living at the very top had its clear advantages—just as so many people with moderate incomes are discovering today. The noise from the street was less at this height; no noisy neighbors could be above you; the air was definitely cleaner than at lower levels; and finally, you had the flat roof where you could sit or relax in sunny weather. Sure, a gentle drizzle of soot might disrupt your comfort out there in the open, but such little details are easily overlooked in the excitement of home life. It was undeniable that on a nice day you could enjoy wide views. The green hill from Hampstead to Highgate, with Primrose Hill and the trees of Regent’s Park in the foreground; the suburban areas of St John’s Wood, Maida Vale, Kilburn; Westminster Abbey and the Houses of Parliament, low by the side of the hidden river, and a shiny glint on distant hills that meant the Crystal Palace; then the grand view of eastern London, topped by the dome of St Paul's. These were the sights your friends were expected to admire. Sunsets often created beautiful scenes, but they were for personal reflection.

A sitting-room, a bedroom, a kitchen. But the kitchen was called dining-room, or even parlour at need; for the cooking-range lent itself to concealment behind an ornamental screen, the walls displayed pictures and bookcases, and a tiny scullery which lay apart sufficed for the coarser domestic operations. This was Amy’s territory during the hours when her husband was working, or endeavouring to work. Of necessity, Edwin Reardon used the front room as his study. His writing-table stood against the window; each wall had its shelves of serried literature; vases, busts, engravings (all of the inexpensive kind) served for ornaments.

A living room, a bedroom, a kitchen. But the kitchen was also called the dining room or even the parlor when needed; the cooking range could easily be hidden behind a decorative screen, the walls showcased pictures and bookshelves, and a small pantry separated from everything else was enough for the rougher household tasks. This was Amy’s domain during the hours when her husband was working or trying to work. Naturally, Edwin Reardon used the front room as his office. His writing desk was against the window; each wall had shelves filled with books; vases, busts, and prints (all of the budget-friendly kind) were used as decorations.

A maid-servant, recently emancipated from the Board school, came at half-past seven each morning, and remained until two o’clock, by which time the Reardons had dined; on special occasions, her services were enlisted for later hours. But it was Reardon’s habit to begin the serious work of the day at about three o’clock, and to continue with brief interruptions until ten or eleven; in many respects an awkward arrangement, but enforced by the man’s temperament and his poverty.

A maid, recently freed from the Board school, came in at 7:30 each morning and stayed until 2:00, by which time the Reardons had finished lunch; on special occasions, she was needed for later hours. However, it was Reardon’s routine to start his serious work around 3:00 and keep going with short breaks until 10:00 or 11:00; it was a bit of an awkward setup, but necessary due to his personality and financial situation.

One evening he sat at his desk with a slip of manuscript paper before him. It was the hour of sunset. His outlook was upon the backs of certain large houses skirting Regent’s Park, and lights had begun to show here and there in the windows: in one room a man was discoverable dressing for dinner, he had not thought it worth while to lower the blind; in another, some people were playing billiards. The higher windows reflected a rich glow from the western sky.

One evening, he was sitting at his desk with a piece of manuscript paper in front of him. It was sunset. He looked out at the backs of some large houses bordering Regent’s Park, and lights started to appear in the windows here and there: in one room, a man was visible getting ready for dinner; he hadn’t bothered to close the blind. In another room, some people were playing billiards. The higher windows reflected a warm glow from the western sky.

For two or three hours Reardon had been seated in much the same attitude. Occasionally he dipped his pen into the ink and seemed about to write: but each time the effort was abortive. At the head of the paper was inscribed ‘Chapter III.,’ but that was all.

For two or three hours, Reardon had been sitting in almost the same position. Occasionally, he dipped his pen into the ink and looked ready to write, but each time, he couldn't manage it. The top of the paper said 'Chapter III.,' but that was it.

And now the sky was dusking over; darkness would soon fall.

And now the sky was getting darker; night would be here soon.

He looked something older than his years, which were two-and-thirty; on his face was the pallor of mental suffering. Often he fell into a fit of absence, and gazed at vacancy with wide, miserable eyes. Returning to consciousness, he fidgeted nervously on his chair, dipped his pen for the hundredth time, bent forward in feverish determination to work. Useless; he scarcely knew what he wished to put into words, and his brain refused to construct the simplest sentence.

He looked older than his thirty-two years, and there was a pale look on his face from mental distress. He often spaced out, staring into nothing with wide, miserable eyes. When he came back to reality, he fidgeted nervously in his chair, dipped his pen for the hundredth time, and leaned forward with a desperate determination to get to work. It was pointless; he barely knew what he wanted to say, and his mind wouldn't put together even the simplest sentence.

The colours faded from the sky, and night came quickly. Reardon threw his arms upon the desk, let his head fall forward, and remained so, as if asleep.

The colors faded from the sky, and night fell fast. Reardon threw his arms on the desk, let his head drop forward, and stayed that way, as if he were asleep.

Presently the door opened, and a young, clear voice made inquiry:

Presently, the door opened, and a young, bright voice asked:

‘Don’t you want the lamp, Edwin?’

‘Don’t you want the lamp, Edwin?’

The man roused himself, turned his chair a little, and looked towards the open door.

The man woke up, shifted his chair slightly, and glanced toward the open door.

‘Come here, Amy.’

"Come here, Amy."

His wife approached. It was not quite dark in the room, for a glimmer came from the opposite houses.

His wife came over. It wasn't completely dark in the room, as there was a glimmer from the houses across the street.

‘What’s the matter? Can’t you do anything?’

‘What’s wrong? Can’t you do anything?’

‘I haven’t written a word to-day. At this rate, one goes crazy. Come and sit by me a minute, dearest.’

‘I haven’t written a word today. At this rate, I’ll go crazy. Come and sit by me for a minute, my love.’

‘I’ll get the lamp.’

"I'll grab the lamp."

‘No; come and talk to me; we can understand each other better.’

‘No; come and talk to me; we can understand each other better.’

‘Nonsense; you have such morbid ideas. I can’t bear to sit in the gloom.’

‘Nonsense; you have such dark thoughts. I can’t stand sitting in the gloom.’

At once she went away, and quickly reappeared with a reading-lamp, which she placed on the square table in the middle of the room.

At once, she left and quickly came back with a reading lamp, which she set on the square table in the center of the room.

‘Draw down the blind, Edwin.’

‘Close the blind, Edwin.’

She was a slender girl, but not very tall; her shoulders seemed rather broad in proportion to her waist and the part of her figure below it. The hue of her hair was ruddy gold; loosely arranged tresses made a superb crown to the beauty of her small, refined head. Yet the face was not of distinctly feminine type; with short hair and appropriate clothing, she would have passed unquestioned as a handsome boy of seventeen, a spirited boy too, and one much in the habit of giving orders to inferiors. Her nose would have been perfect but for ever so slight a crook which made it preferable to view her in full face than in profile; her lips curved sharply out, and when she straightened them of a sudden, the effect was not reassuring to anyone who had counted upon her for facile humour. In harmony with the broad shoulders, she had a strong neck; as she bore the lamp into the room a slight turn of her head showed splendid muscles from the ear downward. It was a magnificently clear-cut bust; one thought, in looking at her, of the newly-finished head which some honest sculptor has wrought with his own hand from the marble block; there was a suggestion of ‘planes’ and of the chisel. The atmosphere was cold; ruddiness would have been quite out of place on her cheeks, and a flush must have been the rarest thing there.

She was a slim girl, but not very tall; her shoulders looked somewhat broad compared to her waist and the lower part of her figure. Her hair had a reddish-gold hue; loosely arranged strands formed a stunning crown to the beauty of her small, refined head. However, her face was not distinctly feminine; with short hair and suitable clothing, she could easily pass as a handsome 17-year-old boy, a spirited one who often gave orders to those below him. Her nose would have been perfect except for a slight crook that made it better to see her from the front rather than in profile; her lips curved sharply out, and when she suddenly straightened them, it wasn’t reassuring for anyone expecting her to be funny. In line with her broad shoulders, she had a strong neck; as she carried the lamp into the room, a slight turn of her head revealed impressive muscles from her ear down. Her bust was magnificently defined; looking at her one thought of a freshly finished sculpture crafted by a skilled sculptor from a block of marble, evoking a sense of ‘planes’ and the chisel. The atmosphere was cold; a rosy glow would have been completely out of place on her cheeks, and a flush must have been the rarest thing there.

Her age was not quite two-and-twenty; she had been wedded nearly two years, and had a child ten months old.

Her age was just under twenty-two; she had been married for almost two years and had a ten-month-old child.

As for her dress, it was unpretending in fashion and colour, but of admirable fit. Every detail of her appearance denoted scrupulous personal refinement. She walked well; you saw that the foot, however gently, was firmly planted. When she seated herself her posture was instantly graceful, and that of one who is indifferent about support for the back.

Her dress was simple in style and color, but it fit her perfectly. Every detail about her looked polished and well put together. She walked confidently; you could see that her foot, even when taking light steps, was planted firmly. When she sat down, her posture was instantly elegant, showing that she didn’t care much about needing back support.

‘What is the matter?’ she began. ‘Why can’t you get on with the story?’

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked. ‘Why can’t you just get on with the story?’

It was the tone of friendly remonstrance, not exactly of affection, not at all of tender solicitude.

It was a friendly warning, not really full of affection, and definitely not of caring concern.

Reardon had risen and wished to approach her, but could not do so directly. He moved to another part of the room, then came round to the back of her chair, and bent his face upon her shoulder.

Reardon had gotten up and wanted to go over to her, but he couldn’t do that directly. He walked to another part of the room, then came around to the back of her chair and leaned his face on her shoulder.

‘Amy—’

‘Amy—’

‘Well.’

‘Okay.’

‘I think it’s all over with me. I don’t think I shall write any more.’

‘I think it’s all over for me. I don’t think I’ll write anymore.’

‘Don’t be so foolish, dear. What is to prevent your writing?’

“Don’t be so naive, dear. What’s stopping you from writing?”

‘Perhaps I am only out of sorts. But I begin to be horribly afraid. My will seems to be fatally weakened. I can’t see my way to the end of anything; if I get hold of an idea which seems good, all the sap has gone out of it before I have got it into working shape. In these last few months, I must have begun a dozen different books; I have been ashamed to tell you of each new beginning. I write twenty pages, perhaps, and then my courage fails. I am disgusted with the thing, and can’t go on with it—can’t! My fingers refuse to hold the pen. In mere writing, I have done enough to make much more than three volumes; but it’s all destroyed.’

‘Maybe I’m just out of sorts. But I’m starting to feel really scared. My willpower seems to be completely shot. I can’t see a way to finish anything; whenever I get an idea that seems good, it loses all its energy before I can shape it into something real. In the last few months, I must have started a dozen different books; I’ve been embarrassed to tell you about each new attempt. I write maybe twenty pages, and then my courage gives out. I’m frustrated with it and can’t continue—can’t! My fingers refuse to hold the pen. Just in writing, I’ve done enough to create more than three volumes; but it’s all gone.’

‘Because of your morbid conscientiousness. There was no need to destroy what you had written. It was all good enough for the market.’

‘Because of your obsessive attention to detail. There was no need to ruin what you had written. It was all good enough for the market.’

‘Don’t use that word, Amy. I hate it!’

‘Don’t use that word, Amy. I can’t stand it!’

‘You can’t afford to hate it,’ was her rejoinder, in very practical tones. ‘However it was before, you must write for the market now. You have admitted that yourself.’

‘You can’t afford to hate it,’ she replied practically. ‘No matter how it was before, you need to write for the market now. You’ve already admitted that yourself.’

He kept silence.

He stayed quiet.

‘Where are you?’ she went on to ask. ‘What have you actually done?’

‘Where are you?’ she continued to ask. ‘What have you really done?’

‘Two short chapters of a story I can’t go on with. The three volumes lie before me like an interminable desert. Impossible to get through them. The idea is stupidly artificial, and I haven’t a living character in it.’

‘Two short chapters of a story I can't continue. The three volumes sit in front of me like an endless desert. It’s impossible to get through them. The concept is ridiculously artificial, and I don’t have a single believable character in it.’

‘The public don’t care whether the characters are living or not.—Don’t stand behind me, like that; it’s such an awkward way of talking. Come and sit down.’

‘The public doesn't care whether the characters are real or not.—Don't stand behind me like that; it makes talking so awkward. Come and sit down.’

He drew away, and came to a position whence he could see her face, but kept at a distance.

He stepped back and moved to a spot where he could see her face, but stayed at a distance.

‘Yes,’ he said, in a different way, ‘that’s the worst of it.’

‘Yeah,’ he said, in a different way, ‘that’s the worst part.’

‘What is?’

'What is it?'

‘That you—well, it’s no use.’

‘That you—well, it’s pointless.’

‘That I—what?’

"Wait, what?"

She did not look at him; her lips, after she had spoken, drew in a little.

She didn’t look at him; her lips pulled in slightly after she spoke.

‘That your disposition towards me is being affected by this miserable failure. You keep saying to yourself that I am not what you thought me. Perhaps you even feel that I have been guilty of a sort of deception. I don’t blame you; it’s natural enough.’

‘Your feelings towards me are being influenced by this unfortunate failure. You keep telling yourself that I’m not who you thought I was. Maybe you even feel that I’ve been somewhat deceptive. I don’t hold that against you; it’s quite understandable.’

‘I’ll tell you quite honestly what I do think,’ she replied, after a short silence. ‘You are much weaker than I imagined. Difficulties crush you, instead of rousing you to struggle.’

“I'll be completely honest about what I think,” she replied after a brief silence. “You’re much weaker than I expected. Challenges break you down instead of motivating you to fight back.”

‘True. It has always been my fault.’

‘True. It’s always been my fault.’

‘But don’t you feel it’s rather unmanly, this state of things? You say you love me, and I try to believe it. But whilst you are saying so, you let me get nearer and nearer to miserable, hateful poverty. What is to become of me—of us? Shall you sit here day after day until our last shilling is spent?’

‘But don’t you think it’s a bit unmanly, how things are? You say you love me, and I want to believe it. But while you say that, you let me get closer and closer to miserable, ugly poverty. What’s going to happen to me—us? Are you just going to sit here day after day until we’ve spent our last penny?’

‘No; of course I must do something.’

‘No; of course I have to do something.’

‘When shall you begin in earnest? In a day or two you must pay this quarter’s rent, and that will leave us just about fifteen pounds in the world. Where is the rent at Christmas to come from?

‘When will you actually start? In a day or two, you need to pay this quarter’s rent, and that will leave us with just about fifteen pounds. Where will the rent for Christmas come from?

What are we to live upon? There’s all sorts of clothing to be bought; there’ll be all the extra expenses of winter. Surely it’s bad enough that we have had to stay here all the summer; no holiday of any kind. I have done my best not to grumble about it, but I begin to think that it would be very much wiser if I did grumble.’

What are we supposed to live on? There are all kinds of clothes to buy; there are going to be all the extra costs for winter. It’s already bad enough that we had to stay here all summer without any break. I’ve tried my best not to complain about it, but I’m starting to think it would be a lot smarter if I did complain.

She squared her shoulders, and gave her head just a little shake, as if a fly had troubled her.

She squared her shoulders and gave her head a slight shake, as if a fly had bothered her.

‘You bear everything very well and kindly,’ said Reardon. ‘My behaviour is contemptible; I know that. Good heavens! if I only had some business to go to, something I could work at in any state of mind, and make money out of! Given this chance, I would work myself to death rather than you should lack anything you desire. But I am at the mercy of my brain; it is dry and powerless. How I envy those clerks who go by to their offices in the morning! There’s the day’s work cut out for them; no question of mood and feeling; they have just to work at something, and when the evening comes, they have earned their wages, they are free to rest and enjoy themselves. What an insane thing it is to make literature one’s only means of support! When the most trivial accident may at any time prove fatal to one’s power of work for weeks or months. No, that is the unpardonable sin! To make a trade of an art! I am rightly served for attempting such a brutal folly.’

‘You handle everything so well and graciously,’ Reardon said. ‘I know my behavior is shameful; I realize that. Good grief! If only I had some job to go to, something I could dive into regardless of how I feel, and actually make money from! Given that opportunity, I would work myself to exhaustion just to ensure you have everything you want. But I'm at the mercy of my mind; it feels empty and useless. I envy those office workers who head to their jobs in the morning! They have their day all planned out; there’s no worrying about mood or feelings; they just get to work, and when evening comes, they’ve earned their pay and can relax and enjoy life. What a crazy idea it is to rely solely on literature for a living! When even the slightest mishap can wipe out your ability to work for weeks or months. No, that’s the unforgivable sin! Turning an art into a job! I’m getting exactly what I deserve for trying such a foolish thing.’

He turned away in a passion of misery.

He turned away in overwhelming sadness.

‘How very silly it is to talk like this!’ came in Amy’s voice, clearly critical. ‘Art must be practised as a trade, at all events in our time. This is the age of trade. Of course if one refuses to be of one’s time, and yet hasn’t the means to live independently, what can result but breakdown and wretchedness? The fact of the matter is, you could do fairly good work, and work which would sell, if only you would bring yourself to look at things in a more practical way. It’s what Mr Milvain is always saying, you know.’

"How ridiculous it is to talk like that!" Amy said, clearly critical. "Art has to be treated like a business, especially in our time. This is the age of business. If someone refuses to adapt to their time and doesn’t have the means to live independently, what can come of it but failure and misery? The truth is, you could do pretty good work that would sell if you would just approach things with a more practical mindset. That’s what Mr. Milvain is always saying, you know."

‘Milvain’s temperament is very different from mine. He is naturally light-hearted and hopeful; I am naturally the opposite.

‘Milvain’s temperament is very different from mine. He is naturally cheerful and optimistic; I am naturally the opposite.

What you and he say is true enough; the misfortune is that I can’t act upon it. I am no uncompromising artistic pedant; I am quite willing to try and do the kind of work that will sell; under the circumstances it would be a kind of insanity if I refused. But power doesn’t answer to the will. My efforts are utterly vain; I suppose the prospect of pennilessness is itself a hindrance; the fear haunts me. With such terrible real things pressing upon me, my imagination can shape nothing substantial. When I have laboured out a story, I suddenly see it in a light of such contemptible triviality that to work at it is an impossible thing.’

What you and he say is true enough; the unfortunate part is that I can't act on it. I'm not a rigid artistic purist; I'm completely open to creating work that will sell. Given the circumstances, it would be a kind of madness to refuse. But power doesn't respond to desire. My efforts are completely pointless; I guess the fear of being broke is a barrier in itself; it’s something that constantly weighs on me. With such overwhelming realities bearing down on me, my imagination can’t create anything meaningful. When I finally craft a story, I suddenly see it as so laughably insignificant that working on it becomes impossible.

‘You are ill, that’s the fact of the matter. You ought to have had a holiday. I think even now you had better go away for a week or two. Do, Edwin!’

‘You’re sick, that’s the reality. You should have taken a vacation. I really think you should go away for a week or two, even now. Please, Edwin!’

‘Impossible! It would be the merest pretence of holiday. To go away and leave you here—no!’

‘No way! It would just be a total fake holiday. To leave and go away while you’re here—absolutely not!’

‘Shall I ask mother or Jack to lend us some money?’

‘Should I ask mom or Jack to lend us some money?’

‘That would be intolerable.’

‘That would be unacceptable.’

‘But this state of things is intolerable!’

'But this situation is not okay!'

Reardon walked the length of the room and back again.

Reardon walked to one end of the room and then back again.

‘Your mother has no money to lend, dear, and your brother would do it so unwillingly that we can’t lay ourselves under such an obligation.’

‘Your mother doesn’t have any money to lend, dear, and your brother would do it so reluctantly that we can’t put ourselves in that position.’

‘Yet it will come to that, you know,’ remarked Amy, calmly.

‘Yet it will come to that, you know,’ Amy said calmly.

‘No, it shall not come to that. I must and will get something done long before Christmas. If only you—’

‘No, it won’t come to that. I have to and will get something done long before Christmas. If only you—’

He came and took one of her hands.

He came over and took one of her hands.

‘If only you will give me more sympathy, dearest. You see, that’s one side of my weakness. I am utterly dependent upon you. Your kindness is the breath of life to me. Don’t refuse it!’

'If you could just show me a little more sympathy, my dear. You see, that’s part of my weakness. I’m completely reliant on you. Your kindness is essential to my existence. Please don’t turn me away!'

‘But I have done nothing of the kind.’

‘But I haven't done anything like that.’

‘You begin to speak very coldly. And I understand your feeling of disappointment. The mere fact of your urging me to do anything that will sell is a proof of bitter disappointment. You would have looked with scorn at anyone who talked to me like that two years ago. You were proud of me because my work wasn’t altogether common, and because I had never written a line that was meant to attract the vulgar. All that’s over now. If you knew how dreadful it is to see that you have lost your hopes of me!’

‘You're starting to speak very coldly. I get why you're feeling disappointed. The fact that you're pushing me to do anything just to sell is proof of that disappointment. You would have looked down on anyone who talked to me like this two years ago. You were proud of me because my work wasn’t average, and because I never wrote anything that aimed to attract the masses. All of that is gone now. If only you knew how terrible it is to see that you’ve lost your hopes for me!’

‘Well, but I haven’t—altogether,’ Amy replied, meditatively. ‘I know very well that, if you had a lot of money, you would do better things than ever.’

‘Well, but I haven’t—totally,’ Amy replied, thoughtfully. ‘I know very well that if you had a lot of money, you would do much better things than ever.’

‘Thank you a thousand times for saying that, my dearest.’

‘Thank you so much for saying that, my dear.’

‘But, you see, we haven’t money, and there’s little chance of our getting any. That scrubby old uncle won’t leave anything to us; I feel too sure of it. I often feel disposed to go and beg him on my knees to think of us in his will.’ She laughed. ‘I suppose it’s impossible, and would be useless; but I should be capable of it if I knew it would bring money.’

‘But, you see, we don’t have any money, and there’s not much chance of us getting any. That stingy old uncle won’t leave us anything; I’m pretty sure of it. I often think about going and begging him on my knees to consider us in his will.’ She laughed. ‘I guess it’s impossible and would be pointless; but I would do it if I knew it would get us some money.’

Reardon said nothing.

Reardon stayed silent.

‘I didn’t think so much of money when we were married,’ Amy continued. ‘I had never seriously felt the want of it, you know. I did think—there’s no harm in confessing it—that you were sure to be rich some day; but I should have married you all the same if I had known that you would win only reputation.’

‘I didn’t value money as much when we got married,’ Amy continued. ‘I had never really felt its lack, you know. I did think—there’s no harm in admitting it—that you were bound to become wealthy someday; but I would have married you just the same if I had known that you would only gain a good name.’

‘You are sure of that?’

"Are you sure about that?"

‘Well, I think so. But I know the value of money better now. I know it is the most powerful thing in the world. If I had to choose between a glorious reputation with poverty and a contemptible popularity with wealth, I should choose the latter.’

‘Well, I think so. But I understand the value of money much better now. I realize it’s the most powerful thing in the world. If I had to choose between having a glorious reputation while being poor and having a popular but unworthy status with wealth, I would choose the latter.’

‘No!’

‘Nope!’

‘I should.’

"I should."

‘Perhaps you are right.’

"Maybe you're right."

He turned away with a sigh.

He turned away with a sigh.

‘Yes, you are right. What is reputation? If it is deserved, it originates with a few score of people among the many millions who would never have recognised the merit they at last applaud. That’s the lot of a great genius. As for a mediocrity like me—what ludicrous absurdity to fret myself in the hope that half-a-dozen folks will say I am “above the average!” After all, is there sillier vanity than this? A year after I have published my last book, I shall be practically forgotten; ten years later, I shall be as absolutely forgotten as one of those novelists of the early part of this century, whose names one doesn’t even recognise. What fatuous posing!’

‘Yes, you’re right. What is reputation? If it’s deserved, it starts with a few dozen people among the many millions who would never have seen the value they eventually praise. That’s the fate of a great genius. As for someone average like me—what a ridiculous idea to worry that half a dozen people will say I’m “above average!” After all, is there any sillier vanity than this? A year after I publish my last book, I’ll be practically forgotten; ten years later, I’ll be as completely forgotten as one of those novelists from the early part of this century, whose names nobody even recognizes. What pointless posturing!’

Amy looked askance at him, but replied nothing.

Amy gave him a sideways glance but said nothing in response.

‘And yet,’ he continued, ‘of course it isn’t only for the sake of reputation that one tries to do uncommon work. There’s the shrinking from conscious insincerity of workmanship—which most of the writers nowadays seem never to feel. “It’s good enough for the market”; that satisfies them. And perhaps they are justified.

‘And yet,’ he continued, ‘it’s not just about reputation that people aim to do exceptional work. There’s a discomfort with being deliberately insincere in craftsmanship—which most writers today don’t seem to experience. “It’s good enough for the market”; that’s enough for them. And maybe they have a point.’

I can’t pretend that I rule my life by absolute ideals; I admit that everything is relative. There is no such thing as goodness or badness, in the absolute sense, of course. Perhaps I am absurdly inconsistent when—though knowing my work can’t be first rate—I strive to make it as good as possible. I don’t say this in irony, Amy; I really mean it. It may very well be that I am just as foolish as the people I ridicule for moral and religious superstition. This habit of mine is superstitious. How well I can imagine the answer of some popular novelist if he heard me speak scornfully of his books. “My dear fellow,” he might say, “do you suppose I am not aware that my books are rubbish? I know it just as well as you do. But my vocation is to live comfortably. I have a luxurious house, a wife and children who are happy and grateful to me for their happiness. If you choose to live in a garret, and, what’s worse, make your wife and children share it with you, that’s your concern.” The man would be abundantly right.’

I can’t pretend that I live my life by strict ideals; I admit that everything is relative. There’s no such thing as absolute good or bad. Maybe I’m being absurdly inconsistent when—despite knowing my work isn’t top-notch—I still strive to make it the best I can. I’m not saying this ironically, Amy; I really mean it. It’s possible that I’m just as foolish as those I mock for their moral and religious superstitions. This tendency of mine is superstitious. I can easily imagine how a popular novelist would respond if he heard me talk disparagingly about his books. “My dear fellow,” he might say, “do you think I don’t realize my books are trash? I know it just as well as you do. But my goal is to live comfortably. I have a nice house, a wife and kids who are happy and thankful to me for their happiness. If you choose to live in a run-down place and, worse, make your wife and kids share it with you, that’s your issue.” He would be completely right.

‘But,’ said Amy, ‘why should you assume that his books are rubbish? Good work succeeds—now and then.’

‘But,’ said Amy, ‘why do you think his books are garbage? Good work sometimes succeeds.’

‘I speak of the common kind of success, which is never due to literary merit. And if I speak bitterly, well, I am suffering from my powerlessness. I am a failure, my poor girl, and it isn’t easy for me to look with charity on the success of men who deserved it far less than I did, when I was still able to work.’

‘I’m talking about the kind of success that has nothing to do with literary talent. And if I sound bitter, it’s because I’m feeling helpless. I’ve failed, my poor girl, and it’s hard for me to genuinely accept the success of men who deserve it far less than I did when I was still able to work.’

‘Of course, Edwin, if you make up your mind that you are a failure, you will end by being so. But I’m convinced there’s no reason that you should fail to make a living with your pen. Now let me advise you; put aside all your strict ideas about what is worthy and what is unworthy, and just act upon my advice. It’s impossible for you to write a three-volume novel; very well, then do a short story of a kind that’s likely to be popular. You know Mr Milvain is always saying that the long novel has had its day, and that in future people will write shilling books. Why not try?

"Of course, Edwin, if you decide that you're a failure, you’ll end up being one. But I'm sure there's no reason you can't earn a living with your writing. So here’s my advice: set aside all your strict ideas about what’s worthy and what’s not, and just follow my suggestion. It's impossible for you to write a three-volume novel; fine, then write a short story that’s likely to be popular. You know Mr. Milvain always says that the long novel is outdated and that in the future people will write affordable books. Why not give it a try?"

Give yourself a week to invent a sensational plot, and then a fortnight for the writing. Have it ready for the new season at the end of October. If you like, don’t put your name to it; your name certainly would have no weight with this sort of public. Just make it a matter of business, as Mr Milvain says, and see if you can’t earn some money.’

Give yourself a week to come up with an amazing story, and then two weeks for the writing. Have it ready for the new season at the end of October. If you prefer, don’t put your name on it; your name definitely wouldn’t mean much to this kind of audience. Just treat it like a business venture, as Mr. Milvain suggests, and see if you can’t make some money.

He stood and regarded her. His expression was one of pained perplexity.

He stood and looked at her. His expression was one of troubled confusion.

‘You mustn’t forget, Amy, that it needs a particular kind of faculty to write stories of this sort. The invention of a plot is just the thing I find most difficult.’

‘You mustn’t forget, Amy, that it takes a special talent to write stories like this. Coming up with a plot is honestly the hardest part for me.’

‘But the plot may be as silly as you like, providing it holds the attention of vulgar readers. Think of “The Hollow Statue”, what could be more idiotic? Yet it sells by thousands.’

‘But the story can be as ridiculous as you want, as long as it keeps the attention of everyday readers. Take “The Hollow Statue”, what could be more foolish? Yet it sells by the thousands.’

‘I don’t think I can bring myself to that,’ Reardon said, in a low voice.

"I don't think I can do that," Reardon said quietly.

‘Very well, then will you tell me what you propose to do?’

‘Alright, so what do you plan to do?’

‘I might perhaps manage a novel in two volumes, instead of three.’

"I might be able to write a novel in two volumes instead of three."

He seated himself at the writing-table, and stared at the blank sheets of paper in an anguish of hopelessness.

He sat down at the writing table and stared at the blank sheets of paper, feeling a deep sense of hopelessness.

‘It will take you till Christmas,’ said Amy, ‘and then you will get perhaps fifty pounds for it.’

"It'll take you until Christmas," Amy said, "and then you might get about fifty pounds for it."

‘I must do my best. I’ll go out and try to get some ideas. I—’

‘I have to do my best. I’ll go out and try to gather some ideas. I—’

He broke off and looked steadily at his wife.

He paused and looked intently at his wife.

‘What is it?’ she asked.

"What is it?" she asked.

‘Suppose I were to propose to you to leave this flat and take cheaper rooms?’

‘What if I suggested that we leave this apartment and find cheaper places to stay?’

He uttered it in a shamefaced way, his eyes falling. Amy kept silence.

He said it shamefully, his eyes dropping. Amy stayed quiet.

‘We might sublet it,’ he continued, in the same tone, ‘for the last year of the lease.’

‘We could sublet it,’ he said, in the same tone, ‘for the last year of the lease.’

‘And where do you propose to live?’ Amy inquired, coldly.

‘And where are you planning to live?’ Amy asked, coldly.

‘There’s no need to be in such a dear neighbourhood. We could go to one of the outer districts. One might find three unfurnished rooms for about eight-and-sixpence a week—less than half our rent here.’

‘There's no need to be in such an expensive neighborhood. We could go to one of the outer districts. You might find three unfurnished rooms for about eight shillings and sixpence a week—less than half our rent here.’

‘You must do as seems good to you.’

‘You should do what feels right to you.’

‘For Heaven’s sake, Amy, don’t speak to me in that way! I can’t stand that! Surely you can see that I am driven to think of every possible resource. To speak like that is to abandon me. Say you can’t or won’t do it, but don’t treat me as if you had no share in my miseries!’

‘For Heaven’s sake, Amy, don’t talk to me like that! I can’t take it! Surely you can see that I’m trying to think of every possible option. Talking like that feels like you’re giving up on me. Say you can’t or won’t do it, but don’t act like you have no part in my struggles!’

She was touched for the moment.

She was moved for a moment.

‘I didn’t mean to speak unkindly, dear. But think what it means, to give up our home and position. That is open confession of failure. It would be horrible.’

‘I didn’t mean to say anything hurtful, dear. But consider what it means to give up our home and status. That’s a clear admission of failure. It would be awful.’

‘I won’t think of it. I have three months before Christmas, and I will finish a book!’

‘I won't think about it. I have three months until Christmas, and I'm going to finish a book!’

‘I really can’t see why you shouldn’t. Just do a certain number of pages every day. Good or bad, never mind; let the pages be finished. Now you have got two chapters—’

‘I really can’t see why you shouldn’t. Just write a certain number of pages every day. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter; just get the pages done. Now you’ve got two chapters—’

‘No; that won’t do. I must think of a better subject.’

‘No; that won’t work. I need to come up with a better topic.’

Amy made a gesture of impatience.

Amy waved her hand in frustration.

‘There you are! What does the subject matter? Get this book finished and sold, and then do something better next time.’

‘There you are! What’s the topic? Finish this book and sell it, then do something even better next time.’

‘Give me to-night, just to think. Perhaps one of the old stories I have thrown aside will come back in a clearer light. I’ll go out for an hour; you don’t mind being left alone?’

‘Give me tonight, just to think. Maybe one of the old stories I’ve set aside will come back to me in a clearer way. I’ll be out for an hour; you don’t mind being left alone, do you?’

‘You mustn’t think of such trifles as that.’

‘You shouldn’t think about such trivial things.’

‘But nothing that concerns you in the slightest way is a trifle to me—nothing! I can’t bear that you should forget that. Have patience with me, darling, a little longer.’

‘But nothing that concerns you in the slightest way is insignificant to me—nothing! I can’t stand the thought of you forgetting that. Please be patient with me, sweetheart, just a little longer.’

He knelt by her, and looked up into her face.

He knelt beside her and looked up at her face.

‘Say only one or two kind words—like you used to!’

‘Just say a few kind words—like you used to!’

She passed her hand lightly over his hair, and murmured something with a faint smile.

She gently ran her hand over his hair and whispered something with a slight smile.

Then Reardon took his hat and stick and descended the eight flights of stone steps, and walked in the darkness round the outer circle of Regent’s Park, racking his fagged brain in a hopeless search for characters, situations, motives.

Then Reardon grabbed his hat and cane, went down the eight flights of stone steps, and walked in the dark around the outer edge of Regent’s Park, struggling to come up with characters, situations, and motives.





CHAPTER V. THE WAY HITHER

Even in mid-rapture of his marriage month he had foreseen this possibility; but fate had hitherto rescued him in sudden ways when he was on the brink of self-abandonment, and it was hard to imagine that this culmination of triumphant joy could be a preface to base miseries.

Even during the peak of his honeymoon, he had expected this possibility; but fate had always saved him unexpectedly just when he was about to give up on himself, and it was difficult to believe that this pinnacle of happiness could lead to deep suffering.

He was the son of a man who had followed many different pursuits, and in none had done much more than earn a livelihood. At the age of forty—when Edwin, his only child, was ten years old—Mr Reardon established himself in the town of Hereford as a photographer, and there he abode until his death, nine years after, occasionally risking some speculation not inconsistent with the photographic business, but always with the result of losing the little capital he ventured. Mrs Reardon died when Edwin had reached his fifteenth year. In breeding and education she was superior to her husband, to whom, moreover, she had brought something between four and five hundred pounds; her temper was passionate in both senses of the word, and the marriage could hardly be called a happy one, though it was never disturbed by serious discord. The photographer was a man of whims and idealisms; his wife had a strong vein of worldly ambition. They made few friends, and it was Mrs Reardon’s frequently expressed desire to go and live in London, where fortune, she thought, might be kinder to them. Reardon had all but made up his mind to try this venture when he suddenly became a widower; after that he never summoned energy to embark on new enterprises.

He was the son of a man who had tried many different jobs, and in none of them had he done much more than make a living. At the age of forty—when Edwin, his only child, was ten years old—Mr. Reardon settled in the town of Hereford as a photographer, and he lived there until his death, nine years later, occasionally taking some risks that were somewhat related to the photography business, but always ending up losing the little money he invested. Mrs. Reardon passed away when Edwin was fifteen. In terms of upbringing and education, she was better than her husband, and she had also brought between four and five hundred pounds into the marriage; her temperament was passionate in both senses of the word, and the marriage could hardly be described as happy, although it was never disrupted by serious conflict. The photographer was a man of quirks and ideals; his wife had a strong sense of worldly ambition. They made few friends, and Mrs. Reardon often expressed her desire to move to London, where she believed fortune might treat them better. Reardon was almost ready to pursue that idea when he suddenly became a widower; after that, he never found the energy to start new ventures.

The boy was educated at an excellent local school; at eighteen he had a far better acquaintance with the ancient classics than most lads who have been expressly prepared for a university, and, thanks to an anglicised Swiss who acted as an assistant in Mr Reardon’s business, he not only read French, but could talk it with a certain haphazard fluency. These attainments, however, were not of much practical use; the best that could be done for Edwin was to place him in the office of an estate agent. His health was indifferent, and it seemed likely that open-air exercise, of which he would have a good deal under the particular circumstances of the case, might counteract the effects of study too closely pursued.

The boy was educated at a great local school; by the age of eighteen, he knew the ancient classics much better than most guys who had been specifically prepared for university. Thanks to a Swiss guy who had settled in England and worked as an assistant in Mr. Reardon's business, he not only read French but could also speak it with a bit of rough fluency. However, these skills weren't really practical; the best option for Edwin was to get a job at an estate agency. His health was not great, and it seemed likely that getting fresh air and exercise, which he would have plenty of in this situation, might help offset the negative effects of studying too hard.

At his father’s death he came into possession (practically it was put at his disposal at once, though he was little more than nineteen) of about two hundred pounds—a life-insurance for five hundred had been sacrificed to exigencies not very long before. He had no difficulty in deciding how to use this money. His mother’s desire to live in London had in him the force of an inherited motive; as soon as possible he released himself from his uncongenial occupations, converted into money all the possessions of which he had not immediate need, and betook himself to the metropolis.

At his father’s death, he inherited around two hundred pounds—practically, it was available to him right away, even though he was just over nineteen. A life insurance policy worth five hundred pounds had been cashed out due to urgent needs not long before. He had no trouble figuring out how to spend this money. His mother’s wish to live in London strongly influenced him; as soon as he could, he quit his unfulfilling jobs, sold off everything he didn’t need immediately, and moved to the city.

To become a literary man, of course.

To become a writer, of course.

His capital lasted him nearly four years, for, notwithstanding his age, he lived with painful economy. The strangest life, of almost absolute loneliness. From a certain point of Tottenham Court Road there is visible a certain garret window in a certain street which runs parallel with that thoroughfare; for the greater part of these four years the garret in question was Reardon’s home. He paid only three-and-sixpence a week for the privilege of living there; his food cost him about a shilling a day; on clothing and other unavoidable expenses he laid out some five pounds yearly. Then he bought books—volumes which cost anything between twopence and two shillings; further than that he durst not go. A strange time, I assure you.

His savings lasted him almost four years because, despite his age, he lived with a lot of discomfort. It was a very strange life, filled with almost complete loneliness. From a certain point on Tottenham Court Road, you can see a specific garret window on a street that runs parallel to that main road; for most of those four years, this garret was Reardon's home. He only paid three-and-sixpence a week to live there; his food cost him about a shilling a day; and he spent around five pounds a year on clothes and other necessary expenses. Then he bought books—volumes that cost anywhere from twopence to two shillings; he couldn't afford to go beyond that. It was a peculiar time, I assure you.

When he had completed his twenty-first year, he desired to procure a reader’s ticket for the British Museum. Now this was not such a simple matter as you may suppose; it was necessary to obtain the signature of some respectable householder, and Reardon was acquainted with no such person. His landlady was a decent woman enough, and a payer of rates and taxes, but it would look odd, to say the least of it, to present oneself in Great Russell Street armed with this person’s recommendation. There was nothing for it but to take a bold step, to force himself upon the attention of a stranger—the thing from which his pride had always shrunk. He wrote to a well-known novelist—a man with whose works he had some sympathy. ‘I am trying to prepare myself for a literary career. I wish to study in the Reading-room of the British Museum, but have no acquaintance to whom I can refer in the ordinary way. Will you help me—I mean, in this particular only?’ That was the substance of his letter. For reply came an invitation to a house in the West-end. With fear and trembling Reardon answered the summons. He was so shabbily attired; he was so diffident from the habit of living quite alone; he was horribly afraid lest it should be supposed that he looked for other assistance than he had requested. Well, the novelist was a rotund and jovial man; his dwelling and his person smelt of money; he was so happy himself that he could afford to be kind to others.

When he turned twenty-one, he wanted to get a reader’s ticket for the British Museum. However, it wasn’t as simple as you might think; he needed the signature of a reputable householder, and Reardon didn't know anyone like that. His landlady was a decent enough woman and paid her bills, but it would definitely be awkward, to put it mildly, to show up at Great Russell Street with her recommendation. The only option was to take a bold step and approach a stranger—something his pride had always kept him from doing. He wrote to a well-known novelist whose works he admired. "I’m trying to prepare for a literary career. I want to study in the Reading Room of the British Museum, but I don’t know anyone to refer me in the usual way. Could you help me—with just this?" That was the gist of his letter. In response, he received an invitation to a house in the West End. Nervously, Reardon accepted the invitation. He was dressed poorly, feeling self-conscious from spending so much time alone, and he was terrified that people would think he was asking for more help than he had requested. The novelist turned out to be a cheerful, plump man whose home and presence exuded wealth; he was so content in his own life that he easily extended kindness to others.

‘Have you published anything?’ he inquired, for the young man’s letter had left this uncertain.

‘Have you published anything?’ he asked, since the young man’s letter had left that unclear.

‘Nothing. I have tried the magazines, but as yet without success.’

‘Nothing. I’ve checked the magazines, but so far I haven’t had any luck.’

‘But what do you write?’

‘But what are you writing?’

‘Chiefly essays on literary subjects.’

‘Mainly essays on literary topics.’

‘I can understand that you would find a difficulty in disposing of them. That kind of thing is supplied either by men of established reputation, or by anonymous writers who have a regular engagement on papers and magazines. Give me an example of your topics.’

‘I can see why you'd have a hard time getting rid of them. That sort of thing usually comes from well-known people or from anonymous writers who regularly contribute to newspapers and magazines. Give me an example of your topics.’

‘I have written something lately about Tibullus.’

‘I recently wrote something about Tibullus.’

‘Oh, dear! Oh, dear!—Forgive me, Mr Reardon; my feelings were too much for me; those names have been my horror ever since I was a schoolboy. Far be it from me to discourage you, if your line is to be solid literary criticism; I will only mention, as a matter of fact, that such work is indifferently paid and in very small demand. It hasn’t occurred to you to try your hand at fiction?’

‘Oh, no! Oh, no!—I’m sorry, Mr. Reardon; I let my emotions get the best of me; those names have scared me since I was a kid. I definitely don’t want to discourage you if you’re aiming for serious literary criticism; I just want to point out that that kind of work doesn’t pay well and there isn’t much demand for it. Have you thought about giving fiction a try?’

In uttering the word he beamed; to him it meant a thousand or so a year.

In saying the word, he smiled brightly; to him, it represented around a thousand or so a year.

‘I am afraid I have no talent for that.’

‘I’m afraid I have no skill for that.’

The novelist could do no more than grant his genial signature for the specified purpose, and add good wishes in abundance. Reardon went home with his brain in a whirl. He had had his first glimpse of what was meant by literary success. That luxurious study, with its shelves of handsomely-bound books, its beautiful pictures, its warm, fragrant air—great heavens! what might not a man do who sat at his ease amid such surroundings!

The novelist could only provide his friendly signature for the stated purpose and offer plenty of good wishes. Reardon went home with his mind buzzing. He had just caught his first glimpse of what literary success looked like. That fancy study, with its shelves of beautifully bound books, its stunning pictures, its warm, fragrant air—wow! What incredible things could a person accomplish while relaxing in such an environment!

He began to work at the Reading-room, but at the same time he thought often of the novelist’s suggestion, and before long had written two or three short stories. No editor would accept them; but he continued to practise himself in that art, and by degrees came to fancy that, after all, perhaps he had some talent for fiction. It was significant, however, that no native impulse had directed him to novel-writing. His intellectual temper was that of the student, the scholar, but strongly blended with a love of independence which had always made him think with distaste of a teacher’s life. The stories he wrote were scraps of immature psychology—the last thing a magazine would accept from an unknown man.

He started working at the Reading room, but he often thought about the novelist's suggestion, and soon he had written two or three short stories. No editor would publish them; still, he kept practicing that craft and gradually began to believe that maybe he had some talent for fiction after all. However, it was notable that no inner drive had pushed him toward writing novels. His intellectual nature was that of a student, an academic, but it was also strongly mixed with a desire for independence, which had always made him view a teacher's life with disdain. The stories he wrote were pieces of immature psychology—the last thing a magazine would accept from someone unknown.

His money dwindled, and there came a winter during which he suffered much from cold and hunger. What a blessed refuge it was, there under the great dome, when he must else have sat in his windy garret with the mere pretence of a fire! The Reading-room was his true home; its warmth enwrapped him kindly; the peculiar odour of its atmosphere—at first a cause of headache—grew dear and delightful to him. But he could not sit here until his last penny should be spent. Something practical must be done, and practicality was not his strong point.

His money ran out, and there came a winter when he suffered a lot from the cold and hunger. How blessed it was to find refuge under the great dome when he would have otherwise been stuck in his drafty attic with nothing but a fake fire! The Reading-room was his real home; its warmth wrapped around him like a comforting hug; the unique smell of the place—initially a source of headaches—became precious and enjoyable to him. But he couldn’t stay there until he spent his last penny. He needed to do something practical, and that wasn’t his strong suit.

Friends in London he had none; but for an occasional conversation with his landlady he would scarcely have spoken a dozen words in a week. His disposition was the reverse of democratic, and he could not make acquaintances below his own intellectual level. Solitude fostered a sensitiveness which to begin with was extreme; the lack of stated occupation encouraged his natural tendency to dream and procrastinate and hope for the improbable. He was a recluse in the midst of millions, and viewed with dread the necessity of going forth to fight for daily food.

He had no friends in London; if it weren't for the occasional chat with his landlady, he would hardly have said more than a dozen words in a week. His personality was the complete opposite of democratic, and he couldn't associate with anyone who wasn't on his intellectual level. His isolation made him exceptionally sensitive; without a set routine, he leaned into his natural tendency to daydream, procrastinate, and wish for the impossible. He was a recluse surrounded by millions and dreaded the need to venture out to scrape by for basic necessities.

Little by little he had ceased to hold any correspondence with his former friends at Hereford. The only person to whom he still wrote and from whom he still heard was his mother’s father—an old man who lived at Derby, retired from the business of a draper, and spending his last years pleasantly enough with a daughter who had remained single. Edwin had always been a favourite with his grandfather, though they had met only once or twice during the past eight years. But in writing he did not allow it to be understood that he was in actual want, and he felt that he must come to dire extremities before he could bring himself to beg assistance.

Little by little, he had stopped communicating with his old friends in Hereford. The only person he still wrote to and heard from was his maternal grandfather—an elderly man living in Derby, who had retired from running a drapery business and was spending his later years enjoying life with his unmarried daughter. Edwin had always been a favorite of his grandfather, even though they had only met once or twice in the past eight years. However, in his letters, he made sure not to reveal that he was struggling financially, and he felt that he would have to be in desperate situations before he could ask for help.

He had begun to answer advertisements, but the state of his wardrobe forbade his applying for any but humble positions. Once or twice he presented himself personally at offices, but his reception was so mortifying that death by hunger seemed preferable to a continuance of such experiences. The injury to his pride made him savagely arrogant; for days after the last rejection he hid himself in his garret, hating the world.

He had started responding to job ads, but his wardrobe was in such bad shape that he could only apply for lowly positions. A couple of times, he went in person to offices, but the way he was treated was so humiliating that starving felt better than going through that again. The hit to his pride made him fiercely arrogant; for days after the last rejection, he shut himself away in his attic, filled with hatred for the world.

He sold his little collection of books, and of course they brought only a trifling sum. That exhausted, he must begin to sell his clothes. And then—?

He sold his small collection of books, and naturally, they fetched only a tiny amount. With that gone, he had to start selling his clothes. And then—?

But help was at hand. One day he saw it advertised in a newspaper that the secretary of a hospital in the north of London was in need of a clerk; application was to be made by letter. He wrote, and two days later, to his astonishment, received a reply asking him to wait upon the secretary at a certain hour. In a fever of agitation he kept the appointment, and found that his business was with a young man in the very highest spirits, who walked up and down a little office (the hospital was of the ‘special’ order, a house of no great size), and treated the matter in hand as an excellent joke.

But help was on the way. One day, he saw an ad in a newspaper that the secretary of a hospital in North London was looking for a clerk; applications were to be submitted by letter. He wrote in, and two days later, to his surprise, he got a reply asking him to meet with the secretary at a specific time. In a frenzy of nerves, he kept the appointment and found that his meeting was with a young man who was in great spirits, walking back and forth in a small office (the hospital was a ‘special’ type, not very large), and treated the situation like a big joke.

‘I thought, you know, of engaging someone much younger—quite a lad, in fact. But look there! Those are the replies to my advertisement.’

‘I thought about hiring someone much younger—actually a kid. But look at that! Those are the responses to my ad.’

He pointed to a heap of five or six hundred letters, and laughed consumedly.

He pointed to a pile of five or six hundred letters and laughed uncontrollably.

‘Impossible to read them all, you know. It seemed to me that the fairest thing would be to shake them together, stick my hand in, and take out one by chance. If it didn’t seem very promising, I would try a second time. But the first letter was yours, and I thought the fair thing to do was at all events to see you, you know. The fact is, I am only able to offer a pound a week.’

‘It’s impossible to read all of them, you know. I figured the fairest thing to do would be to mix them up, stick my hand in, and pick one at random. If it didn’t seem very promising, I’d give it another shot. But the first letter I picked was yours, and I thought the right thing to do was to at least meet you, you know. Honestly, I can only offer a pound a week.’

‘I shall be very glad indeed to take that,’ said Reardon, who was bathed in perspiration.

‘I’ll be really happy to take that,’ said Reardon, who was drenched in sweat.

‘Then what about references, and so on?’ proceeded the young man, chuckling and rubbing his hands together.

‘Then what about references and stuff?’ the young man continued, chuckling and rubbing his hands together.

The applicant was engaged. He had barely strength to walk home; the sudden relief from his miseries made him, for the first time, sensible of the extreme physical weakness into which he had sunk. For the next week he was very ill, but he did not allow this to interfere with his new work, which was easily learnt and not burdensome.

The applicant was engaged. He barely had the strength to walk home; the sudden escape from his suffering made him, for the first time, aware of the extreme physical weakness he had fallen into. For the next week, he was very sick, but he didn’t let this interfere with his new job, which was easy to learn and not demanding.

He held this position for three years, and during that time important things happened. When he had recovered from his state of semi-starvation, and was living in comfort (a pound a week is a very large sum if you have previously had to live on ten shillings), Reardon found that the impulse to literary production awoke in him more strongly than ever. He generally got home from the hospital about six o’clock, and the evening was his own. In this leisure time he wrote a novel in two volumes; one publisher refused it, but a second offered to bring it out on the terms of half profits to the author. The book appeared, and was well spoken of in one or two papers; but profits there were none to divide. In the third year of his clerkship he wrote a novel in three volumes; for this his publishers gave him twenty-five pounds, with again a promise of half the profits after deduction of the sum advanced. Again there was no pecuniary success. He had just got to work upon a third book, when his grandfather at Derby died and left him four hundred pounds.

He held this position for three years, and during that time important things happened. Once he recovered from his state of near-starvation and was living comfortably (a pound a week is a lot if you’ve previously been living on ten shillings), Reardon found that the urge to write became stronger than ever. He usually got home from the hospital around six o’clock, and the evenings were his own. During this free time, he wrote a novel in two volumes; one publisher turned it down, but a second one offered to publish it with a profit-sharing agreement of half the profits for the author. The book was released and received some positive reviews in a couple of papers, but there were no profits to share. In the third year of his clerkship, he wrote a novel in three volumes; for this, his publishers paid him twenty-five pounds, again with a promise of half the profits after subtracting the advance. Once more, there was no financial success. He had just started working on a third book when his grandfather in Derby passed away and left him four hundred pounds.

He could not resist the temptation to recover his freedom. Four hundred pounds, at the rate of eighty pounds a year, meant five years of literary endeavour. In that period he could certainly determine whether or not it was his destiny to live by the pen.

He couldn't resist the urge to regain his freedom. Four hundred pounds, at eighty pounds a year, meant five years of writing effort. During that time, he could definitely figure out if it was his destiny to make a living as a writer.

In the meantime his relations with the secretary of the hospital, Carter by name, had grown very friendly. When Reardon began to publish books, the high-spirited Mr Carter looked upon him with something of awe; and when the literary man ceased to be a clerk, there was nothing to prevent association on equal terms between him and his former employer. They continued to see a good deal of each other, and Carter made Reardon acquainted with certain of his friends, among whom was one John Yule, an easy-going, selfish, semi-intellectual young man who had a place in a Government office. The time of solitude had gone by for Reardon. He began to develop the power that was in him.

In the meantime, his relationship with the hospital secretary, named Carter, had become quite friendly. When Reardon started publishing books, the lively Mr. Carter looked at him with a bit of admiration; and once the writer stopped being a clerk, there was nothing stopping them from interacting as equals. They kept seeing a lot of each other, and Carter introduced Reardon to some of his friends, one of whom was John Yule—an easy-going, self-centered, semi-intellectual young man who worked in a government office. The period of solitude had passed for Reardon. He began to tap into the potential within him.

Those two books of his were not of a kind to win popularity. They dealt with no particular class of society (unless one makes a distinct class of people who have brains), and they lacked local colour. Their interest was almost purely psychological. It was clear that the author had no faculty for constructing a story, and that pictures of active life were not to be expected of him; he could never appeal to the multitude. But strong characterisation was within his scope, and an intellectual fervour, appetising to a small section of refined readers, marked all his best pages.

Those two books of his weren’t really the kind to become popular. They didn’t focus on any specific social class (unless you consider people with brains a distinct class), and they didn’t provide any local flavor. Their appeal was almost entirely psychological. It was obvious that the author wasn’t skilled at crafting a story and readers shouldn’t expect vivid portrayals of active life from him; he could never capture the masses. But strong characterization was something he excelled at, and an intellectual passion, appealing to a small group of discerning readers, characterized all his best writing.

He was the kind of man who cannot struggle against adverse conditions, but whom prosperity warms to the exercise of his powers. Anything like the cares of responsibility would sooner or later harass him into unproductiveness. That he should produce much was in any case out of the question; possibly a book every two or three years might not prove too great a strain upon his delicate mental organism, but for him to attempt more than that would certainly be fatal to the peculiar merit of his work. Of this he was dimly conscious, and, on receiving his legacy, he put aside for nearly twelve months the new novel he had begun. To give his mind a rest he wrote several essays, much maturer than those which had formerly failed to find acceptance, and two of these appeared in magazines.

He was the type of man who struggles with tough situations but thrives when things are going well. Any responsibilities would eventually stress him out, leading to a lack of productivity. Producing a lot was out of the question; maybe he could manage a book every two or three years without overwhelming his sensitive mind, but trying to do more would definitely compromise the unique quality of his work. He was vaguely aware of this, and after receiving his inheritance, he set aside the new novel he had started for nearly a year. To give his mind a break, he wrote several essays that were much more mature than those he previously wrote that weren't accepted, and two of these were published in magazines.

The money thus earned he spent—at a tailor’s. His friend Carter ventured to suggest this mode of outlay.

The money he earned was spent at a tailor's. His friend Carter suggested this way to spend it.

His third book sold for fifty pounds. It was a great improvement on its predecessors, and the reviews were generally favourable. For the story which followed, ‘On Neutral Ground,’ he received a hundred pounds. On the strength of that he spent six months travelling in the South of Europe.

His third book sold for fifty pounds. It was a significant improvement over his earlier works, and the reviews were mostly positive. For his next story, ‘On Neutral Ground,’ he earned a hundred pounds. With that money, he spent six months traveling in Southern Europe.

He returned to London at mid-June, and on the second day after his arrival befell an incident which was to control the rest of his life. Busy with the pictures in the Grosvenor Gallery, he heard himself addressed in a familiar voice, and on turning he was aware of Mr Carter, resplendent in fashionable summer attire, and accompanied by a young lady of some charms. Reardon had formerly feared encounters of this kind, too conscious of the defects of his attire; but at present there was no reason why he should shirk social intercourse. He was passably dressed, and the half-year of travel had benefited his appearance in no slight degree. Carter presented him to the young lady, of whom the novelist had already heard as affianced to his friend.

He returned to London in mid-June, and on the second day after he arrived, an incident occurred that would shape the rest of his life. While he was busy looking at the paintings in the Grosvenor Gallery, he heard a familiar voice call out to him. When he turned around, he saw Mr. Carter, looking sharp in trendy summer clothes, and he was with a charming young lady. Reardon had previously dreaded meetings like this, too aware of how he was dressed; but now, there was no reason for him to avoid socializing. He looked acceptable, and the six months of travel had really improved his appearance. Carter introduced him to the young lady, whom the novelist had already heard about as being engaged to his friend.

Whilst they stood conversing, there approached two ladies, evidently mother and daughter, whose attendant was another of Reardon’s acquaintances, Mr John Yule. This gentleman stepped briskly forward and welcomed the returned wanderer.

While they were talking, two ladies approached, clearly mother and daughter, accompanied by another of Reardon's acquaintances, Mr. John Yule. This man stepped forward quickly and greeted the returning wanderer.

‘Let me introduce you,’ he said, ‘to my mother and sister. Your fame has made them anxious to know you.’

‘Let me introduce you,’ he said, ‘to my mom and sister. Your fame has made them eager to meet you.’

Reardon found himself in a position of which the novelty was embarrassing, but scarcely disagreeable. Here were five people grouped around him, all of whom regarded him unaffectedly as a man of importance; for though, strictly speaking, he had no ‘fame’ at all, these persons had kept up with the progress of his small repute, and were all distinctly glad to number among their acquaintances an unmistakable author, one, too, who was fresh from Italy and Greece. Mrs Yule, a lady rather too pretentious in her tone to be attractive to a man of Reardon’s refinement, hastened to assure him how well his books were known in her house, ‘though for the run of ordinary novels we don’t care much.’ Miss Yule, not at all pretentious in speech, and seemingly reserved of disposition, was good enough to show frank interest in the author. As for the poor author himself, well, he merely fell in love with Miss Yule at first sight, and there was an end of the matter.

Reardon found himself in an embarrassing yet not entirely unpleasant position. Five people were gathered around him, all of whom viewed him as someone important; even though he didn’t have any real ‘fame,’ these individuals had followed the growth of his modest reputation and were pleased to have a genuine author among their acquaintances, especially one who had just returned from Italy and Greece. Mrs. Yule, a bit too self-important for someone with Reardon’s taste, quickly assured him that his books were well-known in her home, “though we don’t really care for the average novels.” Miss Yule, who spoke simply and seemed somewhat shy, showed genuine interest in the author. As for Reardon, he instantly fell in love with Miss Yule, and that was that.

A day or two later he made a call at their house, in the region of Westbourne Park. It was a small house, and rather showily than handsomely furnished; no one after visiting it would be astonished to hear that Mrs Edmund Yule had but a small income, and that she was often put to desperate expedients to keep up the gloss of easy circumstances. In the gauzy and fluffy and varnishy little drawing-room Reardon found a youngish gentleman already in conversation with the widow and her daughter. This proved to be one Mr Jasper Milvain, also a man of letters. Mr Milvain was glad to meet Reardon, whose books he had read with decided interest.

A day or two later, he stopped by their house in the Westbourne Park area. It was a small place, furnished more flamboyantly than elegantly; anyone who visited would not be surprised to learn that Mrs. Edmund Yule had a limited income and often resorted to desperate measures to maintain the appearance of comfort. In the light and frilly little living room, Reardon found a young man already chatting with the widow and her daughter. This was Mr. Jasper Milvain, who was also a writer. Mr. Milvain was pleased to meet Reardon, whose books he had read with notable interest.

‘Really,’ exclaimed Mrs Yule, ‘I don’t know how it is that we have had to wait so long for the pleasure of knowing you, Mr Reardon. If John were not so selfish he would have allowed us a share in your acquaintance long ago.’

‘Honestly,’ exclaimed Mrs. Yule, ‘I don’t understand why we’ve had to wait so long to get to know you, Mr. Reardon. If John weren’t so selfish, he would have let us get to know you a while ago.’

Ten weeks thereafter, Miss Yule became Mrs Reardon.

Ten weeks later, Miss Yule became Mrs. Reardon.

It was a time of frantic exultation with the poor fellow. He had always regarded the winning of a beautiful and intellectual wife as the crown of a successful literary career, but he had not dared to hope that such a triumph would be his. Life had been too hard with him on the whole. He, who hungered for sympathy, who thought of a woman’s love as the prize of mortals supremely blessed, had spent the fresh years of his youth in monkish solitude. Now of a sudden came friends and flattery, ay, and love itself. He was rapt to the seventh heaven.

It was a time of overwhelming joy for the poor guy. He had always seen marrying a beautiful and smart woman as the ultimate achievement of a successful writing career, but he never dared to imagine that such a victory would be his. Life had been pretty tough for him overall. He, who craved connection, who viewed a woman's love as the reward for those truly fortunate, had spent his youthful years in lonely seclusion. Then suddenly, friends and flattery, even love itself, came into his life. He felt like he was on top of the world.

Indeed, it seemed that the girl loved him. She knew that he had but a hundred pounds or so left over from that little inheritance, that his books sold for a trifle, that he had no wealthy relatives from whom he could expect anything; yet she hesitated not a moment when he asked her to marry him.

Indeed, it seemed that the girl loved him. She knew that he had only about a hundred pounds left from that small inheritance, that his books sold for a little bit, and that he had no rich relatives from whom he could hope for anything; yet she didn’t hesitate for a moment when he asked her to marry him.

‘I have loved you from the first.’

‘I have loved you from the beginning.’

‘How is that possible?’ he urged. ‘What is there lovable in me? I am afraid of waking up and finding myself in my old garret, cold and hungry.’

‘How is that possible?’ he pressed. ‘What is there to love about me? I’m afraid of waking up and finding myself in my old attic, cold and hungry.’

‘You will be a great man.’

‘You will be a great man.’

‘I implore you not to count on that! In many ways I am wretchedly weak. I have no such confidence in myself.’

‘I urge you not to rely on that! In many ways, I am hopelessly weak. I have no confidence in myself.’

‘Then I will have confidence for both.’

‘Then I will feel confident about both.’

‘But can you love me for my own sake—love me as a man?’

‘But can you love me for who I am—love me as a person?’

‘I love you!’

‘I love you!’

And the words sang about him, filled the air with a mad pulsing of intolerable joy, made him desire to fling himself in passionate humility at her feet, to weep hot tears, to cry to her in insane worship. He thought her beautiful beyond anything his heart had imagined; her warm gold hair was the rapture of his eyes and of his reverent hand. Though slenderly fashioned, she was so gloriously strong. ‘Not a day of illness in her life,’ said Mrs Yule, and one could readily believe it.

And the words sang about him, filling the air with a wild, overwhelming joy, making him want to throw himself down in passionate humility at her feet, to weep tears of passion, to cry out to her in frantic admiration. He thought she was beautiful beyond anything he had ever imagined; her warm, golden hair was a delight to his eyes and a source of awe for his respectful touch. Although she was slender, she was incredibly strong. "Not a day of illness in her life," said Mrs. Yule, and it was easy to believe it.

She spoke with such a sweet decision. Her ‘I love you!’ was a bond with eternity. In the simplest as in the greatest things she saw his wish and acted frankly upon it. No pretty petulance, no affectation of silly-sweet languishing, none of the weaknesses of woman. And so exquisitely fresh in her twenty years of maidenhood, with bright young eyes that seemed to bid defiance to all the years to come.

She spoke with such a sweet confidence. Her "I love you!" felt like a promise for forever. In everything, both small and significant, she recognized his desires and acted on them honestly. No pointless sulking, no pretending to be cute or delicate, none of the weaknesses often associated with women. And so refreshingly vibrant at twenty, with bright young eyes that seemed to challenge all the years ahead.

He went about like one dazzled with excessive light. He talked as he had never talked before, recklessly, exultantly, insolently—in the nobler sense. He made friends on every hand; he welcomed all the world to his bosom; he felt the benevolence of a god.

He moved around like someone blinded by too much light. He spoke like he never had before, boldly, joyfully, and defiantly—in a good way. He made friends everywhere; he embraced everyone; he felt the kindness of a god.

‘I love you!’ It breathed like music at his ears when he fell asleep in weariness of joy; it awakened him on the morrow as with a glorious ringing summons to renewed life.

‘I love you!’ It sounded like music to his ears as he fell asleep, worn out from happiness; it woke him up the next morning with a glorious call to embrace life again.

Delay? Why should there be delay? Amy wished nothing but to become his wife. Idle to think of his doing any more work until he sat down in the home of which she was mistress. His brain burned with visions of the books he would henceforth write, but his hand was incapable of anything but a love-letter. And what letters! Reardon never published anything equal to those. ‘I have received your poem,’ Amy replied to one of them. And she was right; not a letter, but a poem he had sent her, with every word on fire.

Delay? Why should there be any delay? Amy wanted nothing more than to become his wife. It was pointless to think he would do any more work until he settled down in the home where she would be the mistress. His mind was racing with visions of the books he would write from now on, but his hand could only manage a love letter. And what letters! Reardon never published anything that matched those. “I have received your poem,” Amy replied to one of them. And she was correct; it wasn’t just a letter, but a poem he had sent her, with every word bursting with passion.

The hours of talk! It enraptured him to find how much she had read, and with what clearness of understanding. Latin and Greek, no. Ah! but she should learn them both, that there might be nothing wanting in the communion between his thought and hers. For he loved the old writers with all his heart; they had been such strength to him in his days of misery.

The hours of conversation! He was thrilled to discover how much she had read and how clearly she understood it. Latin and Greek, no. Ah! But she should learn both so that there would be nothing lacking in the connection between his thoughts and hers. For he loved the old writers with all his heart; they had been such a source of strength for him during his tough times.

They would go together to the charmed lands of the South. No, not now for their marriage holiday—Amy said that would be an imprudent expense; but as soon as he had got a good price for a book. Will not the publishers be kind? If they knew what happiness lurked in embryo within their foolish cheque-books!

They would go together to the enchanting lands of the South. No, not right now for their honeymoon—Amy said that would be an unwise expense; but as soon as he got a fair price for a book. Won’t the publishers be generous? If only they knew what joy was waiting to unfold within their silly checkbooks!

He woke of a sudden in the early hours of one morning, a week before the wedding-day. You know that kind of awaking, so complete in an instant, caused by the pressure of some troublesome thought upon the dreaming brain. ‘Suppose I should not succeed henceforth? Suppose I could never get more than this poor hundred pounds for one of the long books which cost me so much labour? I shall perhaps have children to support; and Amy—how would Amy bear poverty?’

He suddenly woke up early one morning, a week before the wedding day. You know that type of awakening, so complete in an instant, caused by the burden of a troubling thought weighing on the dreaming mind. ‘What if I don't succeed from now on? What if I can never earn more than this measly hundred pounds for one of the long books that took me so much effort? I might have kids to take care of; and Amy—how would Amy handle being poor?’

He knew what poverty means. The chilling of brain and heart, the unnerving of the hands, the slow gathering about one of fear and shame and impotent wrath, the dread feeling of helplessness, of the world’s base indifference. Poverty! Poverty!

He understood what poverty feels like. The freezing of the mind and heart, the unsettling of the hands, the gradual buildup of fear, shame, and powerless anger, the terrible sense of helplessness, and the world’s cruel indifference. Poverty! Poverty!

And for hours he could not sleep. His eyes kept filling with tears, the beating of his heart was low; and in his solitude he called upon Amy with pitiful entreaty: ‘Do not forsake me! I love you! I love you!’

And for hours he couldn't sleep. His eyes kept filling with tears, his heart was beating slowly; and in his loneliness, he called out to Amy with desperate pleas: ‘Don't leave me! I love you! I love you!’

But that went by. Six days, five days, four days—will one’s heart burst with happiness? The flat is taken, is furnished, up there towards the sky, eight flights of stone steps.

But that went by. Six days, five days, four days—will one’s heart burst with happiness? The apartment is taken, it’s furnished, up there towards the sky, eight flights of stone steps.

‘You’re a confoundedly lucky fellow, Reardon,’ remarked Milvain, who had already become very intimate with his new friend. ‘A good fellow, too, and you deserve it.’

‘You’re an unbelievably lucky guy, Reardon,’ said Milvain, who had already gotten quite close with his new friend. ‘A nice guy, too, and you totally deserve it.’

‘But at first I had a horrible suspicion.’

‘But at first, I had a terrible feeling.’

‘I guess what you mean. No; I wasn’t even in love with her, though I admired her. She would never have cared for me in any case; I am not sentimental enough.’

‘I get what you mean. No; I wasn’t even in love with her, although I admired her. She would never have cared for me anyway; I’m not sentimental enough.’

‘The deuce!’

‘What the heck!’

‘I mean it in an inoffensive sense. She and I are rather too much alike, I fancy.’

‘I mean it in a harmless way. I think she and I are quite similar.’

‘How do you mean?’ asked Reardon, puzzled, and not very well pleased.

‘What do you mean?’ asked Reardon, confused and not very happy.

‘There’s a great deal of pure intellect about Miss Yule, you know. She was sure to choose a man of the passionate kind.’

‘There’s a lot of pure intellect in Miss Yule, you know. She was bound to choose a man who is passionate.’

‘I think you are talking nonsense, my dear fellow.’

‘I think you’re talking nonsense, my friend.’

‘Well, perhaps I am. To tell you the truth, I have by no means completed my study of women yet. It is one of the things in which I hope to be a specialist some day, though I don’t think I shall ever make use of it in novels—rather, perhaps, in life.’

‘Well, maybe I am. To be honest, I haven't finished studying women yet. It's something I hope to specialize in someday, though I don’t think I’ll ever use it in my novels—more likely in real life.’

Three days—two days—one day.

Three days, two days, one day.

Now let every joyous sound which the great globe can utter ring forth in one burst of harmony! Is it not well done to make the village-bells chant merrily when a marriage is over? Here in London we can have no such music; but for us, my dear one, all the roaring life of the great city is wedding-hymn. Sweet, pure face under its bridal-veil! The face which shall, if fate spare it, be as dear to me many a long year hence as now at the culminating moment of my life!

Now let every joyful sound that the world can make come together in one harmony! Isn’t it nice to have the village bells ring happily when a wedding is done? Here in London, we don’t get to enjoy that kind of music; but for us, my dear, all the vibrant life of this great city is our wedding song. Sweet, pure face behind that bridal veil! The face that, if fate allows, will be just as precious to me many years from now as it is at this peak moment of my life!

As he trudged on in the dark, his tortured memory was living through that time again. The images forced themselves upon him, however much he tried to think of quite other things—of some fictitious story on which he might set to work. In the case of his earlier books he had waited quietly until some suggestive ‘situation,’ some group of congenial characters, came with sudden delightfulness before his mind and urged him to write; but nothing so spontaneous could now be hoped for. His brain was too weary with months of fruitless, harassing endeavour; moreover, he was trying to devise a ‘plot,’ the kind of literary Jack-in-the-box which might excite interest in the mass of readers, and this was alien to the natural working of his imagination. He suffered the torments of nightmare—an oppression of the brain and heart which must soon be intolerable.

As he trudged through the darkness, his tortured memory was reliving that time again. The images pushed themselves into his mind, no matter how hard he tried to think of something else—like a fictional story he could work on. In the past, he had waited patiently until some inspiring situation or group of characters suddenly appeared before him and motivated him to write; but now, he couldn’t expect anything so spontaneous. His mind was too exhausted from months of unproductive, stressful effort; plus, he was trying to come up with a plot, the kind of literary surprise that might draw in a large audience, and this felt completely unnatural to his imagination. He was experiencing the torment of nightmares—a heaviness in his mind and heart that was becoming unbearable.





CHAPTER VI. THE PRACTICAL FRIEND

When her husband had set forth, Amy seated herself in the study and took up a new library volume as if to read. But she had no real intention of doing so; it was always disagreeable to her to sit in the manner of one totally unoccupied, with hands on lap, and even when she consciously gave herself up to musing an open book was generally before her. She did not, in truth, read much nowadays; since the birth of her child she had seemed to care less than before for disinterested study. If a new novel that had succeeded came into her hands she perused it in a very practical spirit, commenting to Reardon on the features of the work which had made it popular; formerly, she would have thought much more of its purely literary merits, for which her eye was very keen. How often she had given her husband a thrill of exquisite pleasure by pointing to some merit or defect of which the common reader would be totally insensible! Now she spoke less frequently on such subjects. Her interests were becoming more personal; she liked to hear details of the success of popular authors—about their wives or husbands, as the case might be, their arrangements with publishers, their methods of work. The gossip columns of literary papers—and of some that were not literary—had an attraction for her. She talked of questions such as international copyright, was anxious to get an insight into the practical conduct of journals and magazines, liked to know who ‘read’ for the publishing-houses. To an impartial observer it might have appeared that her intellect was growing more active and mature.

When her husband left, Amy settled into the study and picked up a new library book as if she planned to read it. But she wasn't really intending to; it always bothered her to sit idle with her hands in her lap. Even when she intentionally let her mind wander, there was usually an open book in front of her. The truth was, she didn't read much these days; since having her child, she seemed less interested in studying for its own sake. If she got her hands on a new best-seller, she read it with a very practical mindset, discussing with Reardon what made the book popular. In the past, she would have focused much more on its literary qualities, which she was very attuned to. How often had she given her husband a jolt of pleasure by pointing out some merit or flaw that the average reader would completely miss! Now, she talked less about those things. Her interests were becoming more personal; she liked to hear details about the successes of popular authors—about their spouses, their deals with publishers, and their work habits. The gossip columns of literary magazines—and some that weren’t even literary—had appeal for her. She discussed topics like international copyright, was eager to understand how journals and magazines operated, and enjoyed finding out who did the "reading" for publishing houses. To an outside observer, it might have seemed like her intellect was becoming more engaged and developed.

More than half an hour passed. It was not a pleasant train of thought that now occupied her. Her lips were drawn together, her brows were slightly wrinkled; the self-control which at other times was agreeably expressed upon her features had become rather too cold and decided. At one moment it seemed to her that she heard a sound in the bedroom—the doors were purposely left ajar—and her head turned quickly to listen, the look in her eyes instantaneously softening; but all remained quiet. The street would have been silent but for a cab that now and then passed—the swing of a hansom or the roll of a four-wheeler—and within the buildings nothing whatever was audible.

More than half an hour went by. She was lost in a troubling train of thought. Her lips were pressed together, her brows slightly furrowed; the self-control that usually showed on her face had turned rather cold and unwavering. For a moment, it felt like she heard something in the bedroom—the doors were intentionally left ajar—and she quickly turned her head to listen, her gaze softening in an instant; but everything remained quiet. The street would have been silent if not for the occasional passing cab—the swing of a horse-drawn cab or the rumble of a four-wheeler—and nothing could be heard within the buildings.

Yes, a footstep, briskly mounting the stone stairs. Not like that of the postman. A visitor, perhaps, to the other flat on the topmost landing. But the final pause was in this direction, and then came a sharp rat-tat at the door. Amy rose immediately and went to open.

Yes, a footstep, quickly climbing the stone stairs. Not like the postman’s. A visitor, maybe, to the other apartment on the top floor. But the last pause was in this direction, and then there was a sharp knock at the door. Amy got up right away and went to open it.

Jasper Milvain raised his urban silk hat, then held out his hand with the greeting of frank friendship. His inquiries were in so loud a voice that Amy checked him with a forbidding gesture.

Jasper Milvain tipped his city silk hat and then extended his hand in a gesture of true friendship. He spoke so loudly that Amy silenced him with a warning gesture.

‘You’ll wake Willie!’

"You'll wake up Willie!"

‘By Jove! I always forget,’ he exclaimed in subdued tones. ‘Does the infant flourish?’

“By Jove! I always forget,” he exclaimed softly. “Is the baby doing well?”

‘Oh, yes!’

"Absolutely!"

‘Reardon out? I got back on Saturday evening, but couldn’t come round before this.’ It was Monday. ‘How close it is in here! I suppose the roof gets so heated during the day. Glorious weather in the country! And I’ve no end of things to tell you. He won’t be long, I suppose?’

‘Reardon gone? I got back on Saturday evening, but I couldn’t come by until now.’ It was Monday. ‘It’s so stuffy in here! I guess the roof gets super hot during the day. The weather in the country is amazing! And I have so much to share with you. He shouldn’t be long, right?’

‘I think not.’

"I don't think so."

He left his hat and stick in the passage, came into the study, and glanced about as if he expected to see some change since he was last here, three weeks ago.

He left his hat and cane in the hallway, walked into the study, and looked around as if he expected to see some changes since he was last here three weeks ago.

‘So you have been enjoying yourself?’ said Amy as, after listening for a moment at the door, she took a seat.

‘So you’ve been having a good time?’ said Amy as, after listening for a moment at the door, she took a seat.

‘Oh, a little freshening of the faculties. But whose acquaintance do you think I have made?’

‘Oh, a little refreshment for the mind. But whose company do you think I’ve encountered?’

‘Down there?’

‘Down there?’

‘Yes. Your uncle Alfred and his daughter were staying at John Yule’s, and I saw something of them. I was invited to the house.’

‘Yes. Your uncle Alfred and his daughter were staying at John Yule’s, and I spent some time with them. I was invited to the house.’

‘Did you speak of us?’

“Did you talk about us?”

‘To Miss Yule only. I happened to meet her on a walk, and in a blundering way I mentioned Reardon’s name. But of course it didn’t matter in the least. She inquired about you with a good deal of interest—asked if you were as beautiful as you promised to be years ago.’

‘To Miss Yule only. I ran into her while out for a walk, and clumsily brought up Reardon’s name. But it really wasn’t a big deal. She asked about you with a lot of interest—wanted to know if you’re as beautiful as you said you would be all those years ago.’

Amy laughed.

Amy chuckled.

‘Doesn’t that proceed from your fertile invention, Mr Milvain?’

'Doesn’t that come from your creative imagination, Mr. Milvain?'

‘Not a bit of it! By-the-bye, what would be your natural question concerning her? Do you think she gave promise of good looks?’

‘Not at all! By the way, what would your obvious question be about her? Do you think she showed signs of being good-looking?’

‘I’m afraid I can’t say that she did. She had a good face, but—rather plain.’

‘I’m afraid I can’t say that she did. She had a nice face, but—kind of plain.’

‘I see.’ Jasper threw back his head and seemed to contemplate an object in memory. ‘Well, I shouldn’t wonder if most people called her a trifle plain even now; and yet—no, that’s hardly possible, after all. She has no colour. Wears her hair short.’

‘I see.’ Jasper tossed his head back and appeared to ponder something from memory. ‘Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if most people thought she was a bit plain even now; and yet—no, that’s probably not true after all. She has no color. Wears her hair short.’

‘Short?’

‘Brief?’

‘Oh, I don’t mean the smooth, boyish hair with a parting—not the kind of hair that would be lank if it grew long. Curly all over. Looks uncommonly well, I assure you. She has a capital head. Odd girl; very odd girl! Quiet, thoughtful—not very happy, I’m afraid. Seems to think with dread of a return to books.’

‘Oh, I don’t mean the smooth, boyish hair with a part—not the kind that would look flat if it grew long. It’s curly all over. Looks really good, I promise you. She has a great head of hair. Odd girl; very odd girl! Quiet, thoughtful—not very happy, I’m afraid. Seems to dread going back to books.’

‘Indeed! But I had understood that she was a reader.’

‘Yeah! But I thought she liked to read.’

‘Reading enough for six people, probably. Perhaps her health is not very robust. Oh, I knew her by sight quite well—had seen her at the Reading-room. She’s the kind of girl that gets into one’s head, you know—suggestive; much more in her than comes out until one knows her very well.’

‘She probably reads enough for six people. Maybe her health isn’t that great. Oh, I recognized her quite well—had seen her in the reading room. She’s the type of girl that sticks in your mind, you know—she’s intriguing; there’s a lot more to her than what shows until you get to know her really well.’

‘Well, I should hope so,’ remarked Amy, with a peculiar smile.

‘Well, I would hope so,’ Amy said with a strange smile.

‘But that’s by no means a matter of course. They didn’t invite me to come and see them in London.’

‘But that’s definitely not a given. They didn’t invite me to come and see them in London.’

‘I suppose Marian mentioned your acquaintance with this branch of the family?’

‘I guess Marian told you about your connection to this part of the family?’

‘I think not. At all events, she promised me she wouldn’t.’

‘I don't think so. Anyway, she promised me she wouldn’t.’

Amy looked at him inquiringly, in a puzzled way.

Amy looked at him with curiosity, her expression confused.

‘She promised you?’

"She said she would?"

‘Voluntarily. We got rather sympathetic. Your uncle—Alfred, I mean—is a remarkable man; but I think he regarded me as a youth of no particular importance. Well, how do things go?’

‘Voluntarily. We became quite sympathetic. Your uncle—Alfred, I mean—is a remarkable man; but I think he saw me as a young person of no special significance. So, how are things going?’

Amy shook her head.

Amy shook her head.

‘No progress?’

'No updates?'

‘None whatever. He can’t work; I begin to be afraid that he is really ill. He must go away before the fine weather is over. Do persuade him to-night! I wish you could have had a holiday with him.’

‘Not at all. He can’t work; I’m starting to worry that he’s really sick. He needs to leave before the nice weather ends. Please convince him tonight! I wish you could have taken a vacation with him.’

‘Out of the question now, I’m sorry to say. I must work savagely. But can’t you all manage a fortnight somewhere—Hastings, Eastbourne?’

‘That's not possible right now, I’m afraid. I have to work really hard. But can’t you all find somewhere to go for two weeks—Hastings, Eastbourne?’

‘It would be simply rash. One goes on saying, “What does a pound or two matter?”—but it begins at length to matter a great deal.’

‘It would be just reckless. People keep saying, “What does a pound or two matter?”—but eventually, it starts to matter a whole lot.’

‘I know, confound it all! Think how it would amuse some rich grocer’s son who pitches his half-sovereign to the waiter when he has dined himself into good humour! But I tell you what it is: you must really try to influence him towards practicality. Don’t you think—?’

‘I know, damn it all! Imagine how it would entertain some wealthy grocer's kid who tosses his half-sovereign to the waiter after treating himself to a good meal! But listen, you really need to try to steer him towards being more practical. Don’t you think—?’

He paused, and Amy sat looking at her hands.

He paused, and Amy sat there looking at her hands.

‘I have made an attempt,’ she said at length, in a distant undertone.

"I tried," she said eventually, in a low voice.

‘You really have?’

"Is that for real?"

Jasper leaned forward, his clasped hands hanging between his knees. He was scrutinising her face, and Amy, conscious of the too fixed regard, at length moved her head uneasily.

Jasper leaned forward, his hands clasped and resting between his knees. He was examining her face closely, and Amy, feeling the intensity of his gaze, eventually shifted her head uncomfortably.

‘It seems very clear to me,’ she said, ‘that a long book is out of the question for him at present. He writes so slowly, and is so fastidious. It would be a fatal thing to hurry through something weaker even than the last.’

‘It’s clear to me,’ she said, ‘that a long book is not an option for him right now. He writes so slowly and is so particular. It would be a mistake to rush through something that’s even weaker than the last one.’

‘You think “The Optimist” weak?’ Jasper asked, half absently.

‘You think “The Optimist” is weak?’ Jasper asked, somewhat distracted.

‘I don’t think it worthy of Edwin; I don’t see how anyone can.

‘I don’t think it’s worthy of Edwin; I don’t see how anyone can.’

‘I have wondered what your opinion was. Yes, he ought to try a new tack, I think.’

‘I’ve been curious about what you think. Yeah, he should definitely try a different approach, I believe.’

Just then there came the sound of a latch-key opening the outer door. Jasper lay back in his chair and waited with a smile for his expected friend’s appearance; Amy made no movement.

Just then, they heard the sound of a key unlocking the outer door. Jasper leaned back in his chair and waited with a smile for his expected friend's arrival; Amy didn’t move.

‘Oh, there you are!’ said Reardon, presenting himself with the dazzled eyes of one who has been in darkness; he spoke in a voice of genial welcome, though it still had the note of depression. ‘When did you get back?’

‘Oh, there you are!’ said Reardon, appearing with the bright eyes of someone who has just emerged from darkness; he spoke with a warm tone of greeting, though it still carried a hint of sadness. ‘When did you get back?’

Milvain began to recount what he had told in the first part of his conversation with Amy. As he did so, the latter withdrew, and was absent for five minutes; on reappearing she said:

Milvain started to share what he had mentioned in the first part of his conversation with Amy. While he was doing this, she stepped away and was gone for five minutes; when she returned, she said:

‘You’ll have some supper with us, Mr Milvain?’

‘Will you join us for supper, Mr. Milvain?’

‘I think I will, please.’

"I think I will, thanks."

Shortly after, all repaired to the eating-room, where conversation had to be carried on in a low tone because of the proximity of the bedchamber in which lay the sleeping child. Jasper began to tell of certain things that had happened to him since his arrival in town.

Shortly after, everyone went to the dining room, where they had to speak in hushed tones because of the nearby bedroom with the sleeping child. Jasper started to share some things that had happened to him since he arrived in town.

‘It was a curious coincidence—but, by-the-bye, have you heard of what The Study has been doing?’

‘It was a strange coincidence—but by the way, have you heard what The Study has been up to?’

‘I should rather think so,’ replied Reardon, his face lighting up. ‘With no small satisfaction.’

“I definitely think so,” Reardon replied, his face brightening up. “With a fair amount of satisfaction.”

‘Delicious, isn’t it?’ exclaimed his wife. ‘I thought it too good to be true when Edwin heard of it from Mr Biffen.’

‘Delicious, isn’t it?’ his wife exclaimed. ‘I thought it was too good to be true when Edwin heard about it from Mr. Biffen.’

All three laughed in subdued chorus. For the moment, Reardon became a new man in his exultation over the contradictory reviewers.

All three laughed softly together. For a moment, Reardon felt like a new man, thrilled by the mixed reviews.

‘Oh, Biffen told you, did he? Well,’ continued Jasper, ‘it was an odd thing, but when I reached my lodgings on Saturday evening there lay a note from Horace Barlow, inviting me to go and see him on Sunday afternoon out at Wimbledon, the special reason being that the editor of The Study would be there, and Barlow thought I might like to meet him. Now this letter gave me a fit of laughter; not only because of those precious reviews, but because Alfred Yule had been telling me all about this same editor, who rejoices in the name of Fadge. Your uncle, Mrs Reardon, declares that Fadge is the most malicious man in the literary profession; though that’s saying such a very great deal—well, never mind! Of course I was delighted to go and meet Fadge. At Barlow’s I found the queerest collection of people, most of them women of the inkiest description. The great Fadge himself surprised me; I expected to see a gaunt, bilious man, and he was the rosiest and dumpiest little dandy you can imagine; a fellow of forty-five, I dare say, with thin yellow hair and blue eyes and a manner of extreme innocence. Fadge flattered me with confidential chat, and I discovered at length why Barlow had asked me to meet him; it’s Fadge that is going to edit Culpepper’s new monthly—you’ve heard about it?—and he had actually thought it worth while to enlist me among contributors! Now, how’s that for a piece of news?’

‘Oh, Biffen told you, did he? Well,’ Jasper continued, ‘it was a strange thing, but when I got to my place on Saturday evening, there was a note from Horace Barlow inviting me to visit him on Sunday afternoon out in Wimbledon. The special reason was that the editor of The Study would be there, and Barlow thought I might like to meet him. This letter made me burst out laughing; not only because of those ridiculous reviews, but also because Alfred Yule had been telling me all about this same editor, who goes by the name of Fadge. Your uncle, Mrs. Reardon, claims that Fadge is the most spiteful person in the literary world; though that’s saying quite a lot—well, never mind! Of course, I was thrilled to meet Fadge. At Barlow’s, I found the strangest group of people, mostly women with the darkest vibes. The great Fadge himself surprised me; I expected to see a tall, sickly man, but he turned out to be the rosiest and chubbiest little dandy you can imagine—a guy about forty-five, I’d say, with thin yellow hair and blue eyes and an incredibly innocent demeanor. Fadge showered me with friendly conversation, and I eventually figured out why Barlow wanted me to meet him; it’s Fadge who is going to edit Culpepper’s new monthly—you’ve heard about it?—and he actually thought it would be worthwhile to bring me on as a contributor! Now, how’s that for exciting news?’

The speaker looked from Reardon to Amy with a smile of vast significance.

The speaker glanced from Reardon to Amy with a smile that meant a lot.

‘I rejoice to hear it!’ said Reardon, fervently.

"I’m so glad to hear that!" said Reardon, passionately.

‘You see! you see!’ cried Jasper, forgetting all about the infant in the next room, ‘all things come to the man who knows how to wait. But I’m hanged if I expected a thing of this kind to come so soon! Why, I’m a man of distinction! My doings have been noted; the admirable qualities of my style have drawn attention; I’m looked upon as one of the coming men! Thanks, I confess, in some measure, to old Barlow; he seems to have amused himself with cracking me up to all and sundry. That last thing of mine in The West End has done me a vast amount of good, it seems. And Alfred Yule himself had noticed that paper in The Wayside. That’s how things work, you know; reputation comes with a burst, just when you’re not looking for anything of the kind.’

‘You see! You see!’ Jasper exclaimed, forgetting all about the baby in the next room. ‘Everything comes to the person who knows how to wait. But I’d be surprised if I expected something like this to happen so soon! I’m a person of distinction! My actions have been recognized; the impressive qualities of my style have attracted attention; I’m seen as one of the rising stars! Thanks, I admit, in part to old Barlow; he seems to have taken pleasure in promoting me to everyone he knows. That last piece of mine in The West End has really helped my reputation, it seems. And Alfred Yule himself noticed that article in The Wayside. That’s how things go, you know; reputation comes suddenly, just when you’re not expecting it.’

‘What’s the new magazine to be called?’ asked Amy.

‘What’s the new magazine going to be called?’ asked Amy.

‘Why, they propose The Current. Not bad, in a way; though you imagine a fellow saying “Have you seen the current Current?” At all events, the tone is to be up to date, and the articles are to be short; no padding, merum sal from cover to cover. What do you think I have undertaken to do, for a start? A paper consisting of sketches of typical readers of each of the principal daily and weekly papers. A deuced good idea, you know—my own, of course—but deucedly hard to carry out. I shall rise to the occasion, see if I don’t. I’ll rival Fadge himself in maliciousness—though I must confess I discovered no particular malice in the fellow’s way of talking. The article shall make a sensation. I’ll spend a whole month on it, and make it a perfect piece of satire.’

‘Well, they’re calling it The Current. Not bad, in a way; though you can imagine someone saying “Have you seen the current Current?” Anyway, the idea is to stay relevant, and the articles are supposed to be short; no fluff, just straight content from cover to cover. What do you think I’ve decided to do to kick things off? A paper featuring sketches of typical readers of each of the major daily and weekly publications. A really good idea, you know—mine, of course—but incredibly difficult to pull off. I’m going to rise to the occasion, just watch. I’ll outdo Fadge himself in sharpness—although I must admit I didn’t notice any particular malice in the way he spoke. This article is going to make headlines. I’ll dedicate a whole month to it and turn it into a perfect piece of satire.’

‘Now that’s the kind of thing that inspires me with awe and envy,’ said Reardon. ‘I could no more write such a paper than an article on Fluxions.’

‘Now that’s the kind of thing that fills me with awe and envy,’ said Reardon. ‘I could no more write such a paper than an article on calculus.’

‘’Tis my vocation, Hal! You might think I hadn’t experience enough, to begin with. But my intuition is so strong that I can make a little experience go an immense way. Most people would imagine I had been wasting my time these last few years, just sauntering about, reading nothing but periodicals, making acquaintance with loafers of every description. The truth is, I have been collecting ideas, and ideas that are convertible into coin of the realm, my boy; I have the special faculty of an extempore writer. Never in my life shall I do anything of solid literary value; I shall always despise the people I write for. But my path will be that of success. I have always said it, and now I’m sure of it.’

“It’s my calling, Hal! You might think I don’t have enough experience to start. But my intuition is so strong that I can turn a little experience into a lot. Most people would think I’ve been wasting my time these past few years, just wandering around, reading nothing but magazines, and hanging out with all kinds of slackers. The truth is, I’ve been gathering ideas, and ideas that can be turned into cash, my boy; I have a knack for being an impromptu writer. I’ll never do anything of real literary value; I’ll always look down on the people I write for. But my path will be one of success. I’ve always said it, and now I’m certain of it.”

‘Does Fadge retire from The Study, then?’ inquired Reardon, when he had received this tirade with a friendly laugh.

“Is Fadge retiring from The Study, then?” Reardon asked, after he listened to this rant with a friendly laugh.

‘Yes, he does. Was going to, it seems, in any case. Of course I heard nothing about the two reviews, and I was almost afraid to smile whilst Fadge was talking with me, lest I should betray my thought. Did you know anything about the fellow before?’

‘Yes, he does. It seems he was going to, anyway. Of course, I didn’t hear anything about the two reviews, and I was almost afraid to smile while Fadge was talking to me, in case I gave away what I was thinking. Did you know anything about that guy before?’

‘Not I. Didn’t know who edited The Study.’

‘Not me. I didn’t know who edited The Study.’

‘Nor I either. Remarkable what a number of illustrious obscure are going about. But I have still something else to tell you. I’m going to set my sisters afloat in literature.’

‘Me neither. It's amazing how many remarkable unknowns are out there. But I have something else to share with you. I'm going to launch my sisters into the world of literature.’

‘How!’

‘How!’

‘Well, I don’t see why they shouldn’t try their hands at a little writing, instead of giving lessons, which doesn’t suit them a bit. Last night, when I got back from Wimbledon, I went to look up Davies. Perhaps you don’t remember my mentioning him; a fellow who was at Jolly and Monk’s, the publishers, up to a year ago. He edits a trade journal now, and I see very little of him. However, I found him at home, and had a long practical talk with him. I wanted to find out the state of the market as to such wares as Jolly and Monk dispose of. He gave me some very useful hints, and the result was that I went off this morning and saw Monk himself—no Jolly exists at present. “Mr Monk,” I began, in my blandest tone—you know it—“I am requested to call upon you by a lady who thinks of preparing a little volume to be called ‘A Child’s History of the English Parliament.’ Her idea is, that”—and so on. Well, I got on admirably with Monk, especially when he learnt that I was to be connected with Culpepper’s new venture; he smiled upon the project, and said he should be very glad to see a specimen chapter; if that pleased him, we could then discuss terms.’

‘Well, I don’t see why they shouldn’t give writing a shot instead of teaching, which really doesn’t suit them at all. Last night, when I got back from Wimbledon, I went to check in on Davies. Maybe you don’t remember me mentioning him; he was a guy at Jolly and Monk’s, the publishing house, until about a year ago. He’s editing a trade journal now, and I hardly see him anymore. Anyway, I found him at home and had a lengthy, practical talk with him. I wanted to know the current state of the market for the kinds of things Jolly and Monk sell. He gave me some really helpful advice, and as a result, I went off this morning and saw Monk himself—no Jolly exists at the moment. “Mr. Monk,” I started, in my most charming tone—you know how I can be—“I was asked to come see you by a lady who is thinking of putting together a little book called ‘A Child’s History of the English Parliament.’ Her idea is, that”—and so forth. Well, I got along really well with Monk, especially when he found out that I would be involved with Culpepper’s new project; he was enthusiastic about the idea and said he would love to see a sample chapter; if that impressed him, we could then talk about terms.’

‘But has one of your sisters really begun such a book?’ inquired Amy.

‘But has one of your sisters really started a book like that?’ Amy asked.

‘Neither of them knows anything of the matter, but they are certainly capable of doing the kind of thing I have in mind, which will consist largely of anecdotes of prominent statesmen. I myself shall write the specimen chapter, and send it to the girls to show them what I propose. I shouldn’t wonder if they make some fifty pounds out of it. The few books that will be necessary they can either get at a Wattleborough library, or I can send them.’

‘Neither of them knows anything about the situation, but they are definitely able to do what I have in mind, which will mainly be stories about notable politicians. I'll write the sample chapter myself and send it to the girls to show them my plan. I wouldn't be surprised if they make around fifty pounds from it. The few books they'll need can either be found at a Wattleborough library, or I can send them.’

‘Your energy is remarkable, all of a sudden,’ said Reardon.

“Your energy is impressive, all of a sudden,” Reardon said.

‘Yes. The hour has come, I find. “There is a tide”—to quote something that has the charm of freshness.’

‘Yes. The time has come, I see. “There is a tide”—to quote something that feels refreshingly new.’

The supper—which consisted of bread and butter, cheese, sardines, cocoa—was now over, and Jasper, still enlarging on his recent experiences and future prospects, led the way back to the sitting-room. Not very long after this, Amy left the two friends to their pipes; she was anxious that her husband should discuss his affairs privately with Milvain, and give ear to the practical advice which she knew would be tendered him.

The dinner—which included bread and butter, cheese, sardines, and cocoa—was done, and Jasper, still talking about his recent experiences and future plans, headed back to the living room. Not long after, Amy left the two friends to enjoy their pipes; she wanted her husband to talk about his business privately with Milvain and to listen to the practical advice she knew would be offered to him.

‘I hear that you are still stuck fast,’ began Jasper, when they had smoked awhile in silence.

‘I hear that you’re still stuck,’ began Jasper, after they had smoked in silence for a while.

‘Yes.’

'Yes.'

‘Getting rather serious, I should fear, isn’t it?’

‘It’s getting pretty serious, I’m afraid, isn’t it?’

‘Yes,’ repeated Reardon, in a low voice.

‘Yes,’ Reardon said again, softly.

‘Come, come, old man, you can’t go on in this way. Would it, or wouldn’t it, be any use if you took a seaside holiday?’

‘Come on, old man, you can’t keep going like this. Would it help, or wouldn’t it, if you took a beach vacation?’

‘Not the least. I am incapable of holiday, if the opportunity were offered. Do something I must, or I shall fret myself into imbecility.’

‘Not at all. I can’t take a break, even if the chance was given. I have to do something, or I’ll drive myself crazy.’

‘Very well. What is it to be?’

‘Alright. What do you want to do?’

‘I shall try to manufacture two volumes. They needn’t run to more than about two hundred and seventy pages, and those well spaced out.’

'I will attempt to create two volumes. They shouldn't need to exceed about two hundred and seventy pages, and those should be well spaced out.'

‘This is refreshing. This is practical. But look now: let it be something rather sensational. Couldn’t we invent a good title—something to catch eye and ear? The title would suggest the story, you know.’

‘This is refreshing. This is practical. But look now: let’s make it something really eye-catching. Can’t we come up with a great title—something to grab attention? The title should hint at the story, you know.’

Reardon laughed contemptuously, but the scorn was directed rather against himself than Milvain.

Reardon laughed with contempt, but the disdain was aimed more at himself than at Milvain.

‘Let’s try,’ he muttered.

"Let's give it a shot," he muttered.

Both appeared to exercise their minds on the problem for a few minutes. Then Jasper slapped his knee.

Both seemed to think about the problem for a few minutes. Then Jasper slapped his knee.

‘How would this do: “The Weird Sisters”? Devilish good, eh? Suggests all sorts of things, both to the vulgar and the educated. Nothing brutally clap-trap about it, you know.’

‘How about this: “The Weird Sisters”? Sounds pretty good, right? It hints at all kinds of things, for both the average person and the educated. Nothing overly cheesy about it, you know.’

‘But—what does it suggest to you?’

‘But—what does it make you think?’

‘Oh, witch-like, mysterious girls or women. Think it over.’

‘Oh, mysterious girls or women, like witches. Consider it.’

There was another long silence. Reardon’s face was that of a man in blank misery.

There was another long silence. Reardon's face showed the expression of someone in deep misery.

‘I have been trying,’ he said at length, after an attempt to speak which was checked by a huskiness in his throat, ‘to explain to myself how this state of things has come about. I almost think I can do so.’

‘I’ve been trying,’ he said finally, after a failed attempt to speak that was interrupted by a tightness in his throat, ‘to figure out how this situation has happened. I think I might be able to explain it.’

‘How?’

‘How?’

‘That half-year abroad, and the extraordinary shock of happiness which followed at once upon it, have disturbed the balance of my nature. It was adjusted to circumstances of hardship, privation, struggle. A temperament like mine can’t pass through such a violent change of conditions without being greatly affected; I have never since been the man I was before I left England. The stage I had then reached was the result of a slow and elaborate building up; I could look back and see the processes by which I had grown from the boy who was a mere bookworm to the man who had all but succeeded as a novelist. It was a perfectly natural, sober development. But in the last two years and a half I can distinguish no order. In living through it, I have imagined from time to time that my powers were coming to their ripest; but that was mere delusion. Intellectually, I have fallen back. The probability is that this wouldn’t matter, if only I could live on in peace of mind; I should recover my equilibrium, and perhaps once more understand myself. But the due course of things is troubled by my poverty.’

‘That six months abroad, and the incredible shock of happiness that followed right after, have thrown my nature out of balance. I was used to dealing with hardship, deprivation, and struggle. A temperament like mine can’t go through such a drastic change in circumstances without being deeply affected; I have never been the same person I was before I left England. The stage I had reached then was the result of a slow and careful process; I could look back and see how I grew from a boy who was just a bookworm to a man who was close to succeeding as a novelist. It was a completely natural, steady development. But in the last two and a half years, I can’t see any order. While living through it, I thought from time to time that my abilities were reaching their peak; but that was just an illusion. Intellectually, I have regressed. The truth is, this wouldn’t matter if I could just live in peace of mind; I would regain my balance, and maybe once again understand myself. But my financial struggles are upsetting the natural course of things.’

He spoke in a slow, meditative way, in a monotonous voice, and without raising his eyes from the ground.

He spoke slowly and thoughtfully, in a flat voice, without looking up from the ground.

‘I can understand,’ put in Jasper, ‘that there may be philosophical truth in all this. All the same, it’s a great pity that you should occupy your mind with such thoughts.’

"I get it," Jasper chimed in, "there might be some philosophical truth in all of this. Still, it’s a real shame that you spend your time thinking about stuff like that."

‘A pity—no! I must remain a reasoning creature. Disaster may end by driving me out of my wits, but till then I won’t abandon my heritage of thought.’

‘What a shame—no! I have to stay a thinking being. A disaster might eventually push me to the edge, but until then, I won’t give up my ability to think.’

‘Let us have it out, then. You think it was a mistake to spend those months abroad?’

‘Let’s talk about it, then. Do you think it was a mistake to spend those months overseas?’

‘A mistake from the practical point of view. That vast broadening of my horizon lost me the command of my literary resources. I lived in Italy and Greece as a student, concerned especially with the old civilisations; I read little but Greek and Latin. That brought me out of the track I had laboriously made for myself. I often thought with disgust of the kind of work I had been doing; my novels seemed vapid stuff, so wretchedly and shallowly modern. If I had had the means, I should have devoted myself to the life of a scholar. That, I quite believe, is my natural life; it’s only the influence of recent circumstances that has made me a writer of novels. A man who can’t journalise, yet must earn his bread by literature, nowadays inevitably turns to fiction, as the Elizabethan men turned to the drama. Well, but I should have got back, I think, into the old line of work. It was my marriage that completed what the time abroad had begun.’

‘A mistake from a practical standpoint. That huge expansion of my perspective caused me to lose control of my writing skills. I lived in Italy and Greece as a student, focusing mainly on the ancient civilizations; I hardly read anything except Greek and Latin. That took me off the path I had worked hard to create for myself. I often felt disgusted by the type of work I had been doing; my novels seemed like empty nonsense, so painfully and superficially modern. If I had the means, I would have committed myself to a scholarly life. I truly believe that’s my natural calling; it’s just the influence of recent circumstances that has turned me into a novelist. A man who can’t write articles but needs to make a living through literature these days inevitably turns to fiction, just as the Elizabethan writers turned to drama. Well, I think I would have returned to my previous line of work eventually. It was my marriage that finalized what my time abroad had started.’

He looked up suddenly, and added:

He suddenly looked up and continued:

‘I am speaking as if to myself. You, of course, don’t misunderstand me, and think I am accusing my wife.’

‘I’m talking as if I’m just thinking out loud. You, of course, don’t get me wrong and think I’m blaming my wife.’

‘No, I don’t take you to mean that, by any means.’

'No, I definitely don’t think you mean that.'

‘No, no; of course not. All that’s wrong is my accursed want of money. But that threatens to be such a fearful wrong, that I begin to wish I had died before my marriage-day. Then Amy would have been saved. The Philistines are right: a man has no business to marry unless he has a secured income equal to all natural demands. I behaved with the grossest selfishness. I might have known that such happiness was never meant for me.’

‘No, no; of course not. The only problem is my terrible lack of money. But that’s becoming such a huge issue that I wish I had died before my wedding day. Then Amy would have been spared. The critics are correct: a man shouldn’t marry unless he has a steady income that covers all basic needs. I acted with the worst kind of selfishness. I should have realized that such happiness was never meant for me.’

‘Do you mean by all this that you seriously doubt whether you will ever be able to write again?’

‘Are you saying that you seriously doubt you'll ever be able to write again?’

‘In awful seriousness, I doubt it,’ replied Reardon, with haggard face.

'With a tired expression, I honestly doubt it,' Reardon replied.

‘It strikes me as extraordinary. In your position I should work as I never had done before.’

‘It seems incredible to me. If I were in your shoes, I would work harder than ever before.’

‘Because you are the kind of man who is roused by necessity. I am overcome by it. My nature is feeble and luxurious. I never in my life encountered and overcame a practical difficulty.’

‘Because you are the kind of man who is motivated by necessity. I am overwhelmed by it. My nature is weak and indulgent. I have never in my life faced and conquered a practical challenge.’

‘Yes; when you got the work at the hospital.’

‘Yes; when you got the job at the hospital.’

‘All I did was to write a letter, and chance made it effective.’

‘All I did was write a letter, and luck made it work.’

‘My view of the case, Reardon, is that you are simply ill.’

‘My take on the situation, Reardon, is that you are just unwell.’

‘Certainly I am; but the ailment is desperately complicated. Tell me: do you think I might possibly get any kind of stated work to do? Should I be fit for any place in a newspaper office, for instance?’

‘Of course I am; but the illness is really complicated. Tell me: do you think I could possibly find any kind of regular work? Would I be suitable for a position in a newspaper office, for example?’

‘I fear not. You are the last man to have anything to do with journalism.’

‘I’m not worried. You’re the last person who should be involved in journalism.’

‘If I appealed to my publishers, could they help me?’

‘If I reached out to my publishers, could they assist me?’

‘I don’t see how. They would simply say: Write a book and we’ll buy it.’

‘I don’t see how. They would just say: Write a book and we’ll buy it.’

‘Yes, there’s no help but that.’

'Yeah, there’s no other choice.'

‘If only you were able to write short stories, Fadge might be useful.’

‘If only you could write short stories, Fadge might be helpful.’

‘But what’s the use? I suppose I might get ten guineas, at most, for such a story. I need a couple of hundred pounds at least. Even if I could finish a three-volume book, I doubt if they would give me a hundred again, after the failure of “The Optimist”; no, they wouldn’t.’

'But what's the point? I guess I could get maybe ten guineas at most for such a story. I need at least a couple of hundred pounds. Even if I managed to finish a three-volume book, I doubt they would pay me a hundred again after the flop of “The Optimist”; no, they wouldn’t.'

‘But to sit and look forward in this way is absolutely fatal, my dear fellow. Get to work at your two-volume story. Call it “The Weird Sisters,” or anything better that you can devise; but get it done, so many pages a day. If I go ahead as I begin to think I shall, I shall soon be able to assure you good notices in a lot of papers. Your misfortune has been that you had no influential friends. By-the-bye, how has The Study been in the habit of treating you?’

‘But sitting around and just thinking like this is really dangerous, my friend. Focus on your two-volume story. Call it “The Weird Sisters,” or come up with something better; just get it finished, so many pages a day. If I keep going the way I think I will, I’ll soon be able to promise you good reviews in a bunch of papers. Your problem has been that you haven’t had any influential friends. By the way, how has The Study been treating you?’

‘Scrubbily.’

'Messy.'

‘I’ll make an opportunity of talking about your books to Fadge. I think Fadge and I shall get on pretty well together. Alfred Yule hates the man fiercely, for some reason or other. By the way, I may as well tell you that I broke short off with the Yules on purpose.’

‘I’ll take the chance to talk about your books with Fadge. I think Fadge and I will get along pretty well. Alfred Yule really hates him for some reason. By the way, I should let you know that I intentionally cut things off with the Yules.’

‘Oh?’

‘Oh?’

‘I had begun to think far too much about the girl. Wouldn’t do, you know. I must marry someone with money, and a good deal of it. That’s a settled point with me.’

‘I had started to think way too much about the girl. That wouldn’t work, you know. I need to marry someone with money, and a lot of it. That’s a done deal for me.’

‘Then you are not at all likely to meet them in London?’

‘So you probably won’t run into them in London?’

‘Not at all. And if I get allied with Fadge, no doubt Yule will involve me in his savage feeling. You see how wisely I acted. I have a scent for the prudent course.’

‘Not at all. And if I team up with Fadge, it’s certain that Yule will drag me into his harsh emotions. You see how wisely I acted. I have a knack for picking the right path.’

They talked for a long time, but again chiefly of Milvain’s affairs. Reardon, indeed, cared little to say anything more about his own. Talk was mere vanity and vexation of spirit, for the spring of his volition seemed to be broken, and, whatever resolve he might utter, he knew that everything depended on influences he could not even foresee.

They talked for a long time, but mostly about Milvain’s situation. Reardon, in fact, didn't really care to share much about his own. Talking was just a way to show off and express frustration, because he felt like his drive was completely shattered, and no matter what decisions he might express, he knew that everything relied on factors he couldn't even predict.





CHAPTER VII. MARIAN’S HOME

Three weeks after her return from the country—which took place a week later than that of Jasper Milvain—Marian Yule was working one afternoon at her usual place in the Museum Reading-room. It was three o’clock, and with the interval of half an hour at midday, when she went away for a cup of tea and a sandwich, she had been closely occupied since half-past nine. Her task at present was to collect materials for a paper on ‘French Authoresses of the Seventeenth Century,’ the kind of thing which her father supplied on stipulated terms for anonymous publication. Marian was by this time almost able to complete such a piece of manufacture herself and her father’s share in it was limited to a few hints and corrections. The greater part of the work by which Yule earned his moderate income was anonymous: volumes and articles which bore his signature dealt with much the same subjects as his unsigned matter, but the writing was laboured with a conscientiousness unusual in men of his position. The result, unhappily, was not correspondent with the efforts. Alfred Yule had made a recognisable name among the critical writers of the day; seeing him in the title-lists of a periodical, most people knew what to expect, but not a few forbore the cutting open of the pages he occupied. He was learned, copious, occasionally mordant in style; but grace had been denied to him. He had of late begun to perceive the fact that those passages of Marian’s writing which were printed just as they came from her pen had merit of a kind quite distinct from anything of which he himself was capable, and it began to be a question with him whether it would not be advantageous to let the girl sign these compositions. A matter of business, to be sure—at all events in the first instance.

Three weeks after her return from the country—which happened a week after Jasper Milvain's—Marian Yule was working one afternoon at her usual spot in the Museum Reading Room. It was three o’clock, and except for the half-hour break at noon when she went out for a cup of tea and a sandwich, she had been busy since half-past nine. Right now, her task was to gather materials for a paper on ‘French Authoresses of the Seventeenth Century,’ the type of project her father provided on agreed terms for anonymous publication. By this time, Marian was almost capable of completing such a piece on her own, and her father's involvement mostly consisted of a few suggestions and edits. The bulk of the work that Yule did to earn his modest income was anonymous: the books and articles with his name on them focused on similar topics as his unsigned work, but the writing was done with an unusual conscientiousness for someone in his position. Unfortunately, the results did not match the effort. Alfred Yule had gained a recognizable reputation among contemporary critics; seeing his name in the title lists of a magazine, most people knew what to expect, but many opted not to even open the pages he wrote. He was knowledgeable, verbose, and at times cutting in style; however, elegance had eluded him. Recently, he had begun to notice that the parts of Marian’s writing that were published as they were written had a quality quite different from anything he could achieve, and he started to question whether it might be beneficial to let her sign these pieces. It was, of course, a matter of business—at least initially.

For a long time Marian had scarcely looked up from the desk, but at this moment she found it necessary to refer to the invaluable Larousse. As so often happened, the particular volume of which she had need was not upon the shelf; she turned away, and looked about her with a gaze of weary disappointment. At a little distance were standing two young men, engaged, as their faces showed, in facetious colloquy; as soon as she observed them, Marian’s eyes fell, but the next moment she looked again in that direction. Her face had wholly changed; she wore a look of timid expectancy.

For a long time, Marian barely looked up from her desk, but at that moment, she needed to check the invaluable Larousse. As often happened, the specific volume she needed wasn’t on the shelf; she turned away and looked around with a weary sense of disappointment. A short distance away, two young men were standing together, clearly engaged in a lighthearted conversation. As soon as Marian noticed them, her eyes dropped, but a moment later, she looked back in their direction. Her expression had completely transformed; she now wore a look of shy anticipation.

The men were moving towards her, still talking and laughing. She turned to the shelves, and affected to search for a book. The voices drew near, and one of them was well known to her; now she could hear every word; now the speakers were gone by. Was it possible that Mr Milvain had not recognised her? She followed him with her eyes, and saw him take a seat not far off; he must have passed without even being aware of her.

The men were walking toward her, still chatting and laughing. She turned to the shelves and pretended to look for a book. The voices got closer, and one of them was familiar; now she could hear every word; now the speakers had moved on. Could it be that Mr. Milvain didn’t recognize her? She tracked him with her eyes and saw him take a seat nearby; he must have walked past without even noticing her.

She went back to her place and for some minutes sat trifling with a pen. When she made a show of resuming work, it was evident that she could no longer apply herself as before. Every now and then she glanced at people who were passing; there were intervals when she wholly lost herself in reverie. She was tired, and had even a slight headache. When the hand of the clock pointed to half-past three, she closed the volume from which she had been copying extracts, and began to collect her papers.

She went back home and for a few minutes fiddled with a pen. When she pretended to get back to work, it was obvious that she couldn’t focus like she used to. Every now and then, she glanced at the people walking by; there were moments when she completely drifted off into thought. She felt tired and even had a slight headache. When the clock hit 3:30, she closed the book she had been copying from and started gathering her papers.

A voice spoke close behind her.

A voice called out right behind her.

‘Where’s your father, Miss Yule?’

‘Where’s your dad, Miss Yule?’

The speaker was a man of sixty, short, stout, tonsured by the hand of time. He had a broad, flabby face, the colour of an ancient turnip, save where one of the cheeks was marked with a mulberry stain; his eyes, grey-orbed in a yellow setting, glared with good-humoured inquisitiveness, and his mouth was that of the confirmed gossip. For eyebrows he had two little patches of reddish stubble; for moustache, what looked like a bit of discoloured tow, and scraps of similar material hanging beneath his creasy chin represented a beard. His garb must have seen a great deal of Museum service; it consisted of a jacket, something between brown and blue, hanging in capacious shapelessness, a waistcoat half open for lack of buttons and with one of the pockets coming unsewn, a pair of bronze-hued trousers which had all run to knee. Necktie he had none, and his linen made distinct appeal to the laundress.

The speaker was a sixty-year-old man, short and stout, marked by age. He had a broad, flabby face, the color of an old turnip, except for one cheek that had a mulberry stain; his eyes, grey surrounded by yellow, glared with good-natured curiosity, and his mouth suggested a habitual gossip. His eyebrows were just two little patches of reddish stubble; his mustache looked like a bit of discolored fluff, and what hung from his wrinkled chin resembled bits of the same material pretending to be a beard. His clothes looked like they had seen a lot of wear; he wore a jacket that was a mix of brown and blue and hung loosely, a waistcoat that was half open due to missing buttons with one pocket coming apart, and a pair of bronze-colored trousers that had all worn out at the knees. He didn't have a necktie, and his shirt was in desperate need of a wash.

Marian shook hands with him.

Marian shook hands with him.

‘He went away at half-past two,’ was her reply to his question.

‘He left at two-thirty,’ was her reply to his question.

‘How annoying! I wanted particularly to see him. I have been running about all day, and couldn’t get here before. Something important—most important. At all events, I can tell you. But I entreat that you won’t breathe a word save to your father.’

‘How annoying! I really wanted to see him. I’ve been running around all day and couldn’t get here sooner. Something important—very important. Anyway, I can tell you. But please, don’t say a word to anyone except your father.’

Mr Quarmby—that was his name—had taken a vacant chair and drawn it close to Marian’s. He was in a state of joyous excitement, and talked in thick, rather pompous tones, with a pant at the end of a sentence. To emphasise the extremely confidential nature of his remarks, he brought his head almost in contact with the girl’s, and one of her thin, delicate hands was covered with his red, podgy fingers.

Mr. Quarmby—that was his name—had taken an empty chair and pulled it close to Marian’s. He was filled with joyful excitement and spoke in thick, somewhat pompous tones, with a heavy breath at the end of each sentence. To highlight the highly confidential nature of his comments, he leaned his head almost against the girl’s, and one of her thin, delicate hands was covered by his red, pudgy fingers.

‘I’ve had a talk with Nathaniel Walker,’ he continued; ‘a long talk—a talk of vast importance. You know Walker? No, no; how should you? He’s a man of business; close friend of Rackett’s—Rackett, you know, the owner of The Study.’

‘I’ve had a conversation with Nathaniel Walker,’ he continued; ‘a long conversation—a conversation of great importance. You know Walker? No, no; how would you? He’s a businessman; a close friend of Rackett’s—Rackett, you know, the owner of The Study.’

Upon this he made a grave pause, and glared more excitedly than ever.

Upon this, he paused seriously and stared more intensely than before.

‘I have heard of Mr Rackett,’ said Marian.

‘I’ve heard of Mr. Rackett,’ Marian said.

‘Of course, of course. And you must also have heard that Fadge leaves The Study at the end of this year, eh?’

‘Of course, of course. And you must have also heard that Fadge is leaving The Study at the end of this year, right?’

‘Father told me it was probable.’

‘Dad told me it was likely.’

‘Rackett and he have done nothing but quarrel for months; the paper is falling off seriously. Well, now, when I came across Nat Walker this afternoon, the first thing he said to me was, “You know Alfred Yule pretty well, I think?” “Pretty well,” I answered; “why?” “I’ll tell you,” he said, “but it’s between you and me, you understand. Rackett is thinking about him in connection with The Study.” “I’m delighted to hear it.” “To tell you the truth,” went on Nat, “I shouldn’t wonder if Yule gets the editorship; but you understand that it would be altogether premature to talk about it.” Now what do you think of this, eh?’

‘Rackett and he have been arguing non-stop for months; the publication is seriously struggling. Well, when I ran into Nat Walker this afternoon, the first thing he said was, “You know Alfred Yule pretty well, right?” “Pretty well,” I replied; “why?” “I’ll tell you,” he said, “but it’s just between us, you get that? Rackett is considering him for The Study.” “I’m glad to hear that.” “Honestly,” Nat continued, “I wouldn’t be surprised if Yule gets the editorship; but you know it would be totally premature to discuss it.” So what do you think of that, huh?’

‘It’s very good news,’ answered Marian.

"That’s awesome news," replied Marian.

‘I should think so! Ho, ho!’

‘I think so too! Ha, ha!’

Mr Quarmby laughed in a peculiar way, which was the result of long years of mirth-subdual in the Reading-room.

Mr. Quarmby laughed in a strange way, a result of many years of holding back his laughter in the Reading Room.

‘But not a breath to anyone but your father. He’ll be here to-morrow? Break it gently to him, you know; he’s an excitable man; can’t take things quietly, like I do. Ho, ho!’

‘But don’t say anything to anyone except your father. He’ll be here tomorrow? Tell him gently, you know; he’s an excitable guy; can’t handle things calmly, like I do. Ha, ha!’

His suppressed laugh ended in a fit of coughing—the Reading-room cough. When he had recovered from it, he pressed Marian’s hand with paternal fervour, and waddled off to chatter with someone else.

His stifled laugh turned into a coughing fit—the kind you get in a library. Once he got himself together, he squeezed Marian’s hand with a fatherly warmth and walked off to talk to someone else.

Marian replaced several books on the reference-shelves, returned others to the central desk, and was just leaving the room, when again a voice made demand upon her attention.

Marian put several books back on the reference shelves, returned others to the main desk, and was just about to leave the room when a voice caught her attention again.

‘Miss Yule! One moment, if you please!’

‘Miss Yule! One sec, please!’

It was a tall, meagre, dry-featured man, dressed with the painful neatness of self-respecting poverty: the edges of his coat-sleeves were carefully darned; his black necktie and a skull-cap which covered his baldness were evidently of home manufacture. He smiled softly and timidly with blue, rheumy eyes. Two or three recent cuts on his chin and neck were the result of conscientious shaving with an unsteady hand.

It was a tall, thin man with sharp features, dressed with the uncomfortable neatness of self-respecting poverty: the cuffs of his coat sleeves were carefully patched; his black tie and a skullcap that hid his bald head were clearly homemade. He smiled gently and shyly with his watery blue eyes. A couple of fresh cuts on his chin and neck were the result of careful shaving with a shaky hand.

‘I have been looking for your father,’ he said, as Marian turned. ‘Isn’t he here?’

‘I’ve been looking for your dad,’ he said, as Marian turned. ‘Isn’t he around?’

‘He has gone, Mr Hinks.’

"Mr. Hinks is gone."

‘Ah, then would you do me the kindness to take a book for him? In fact, it’s my little “Essay on the Historical Drama,” just out.’

‘Ah, could you do me a favor and grab a book for him? Actually, it’s my little “Essay on the Historical Drama,” which just came out.’

He spoke with nervous hesitation, and in a tone which seemed to make apology for his existence.

He spoke with anxious hesitation, and in a tone that seemed to apologize for his presence.

‘Oh, father will be very glad to have it.’

‘Oh, Dad will be really happy to have it.’

‘If you will kindly wait one minute, Miss Yule. It’s at my place over there.’

‘If you could please wait a minute, Miss Yule. It’s at my place over there.’

He went off with long strides, and speedily came back panting, in his hand a thin new volume.

He walked away quickly, and soon returned out of breath, holding a small new book.

‘My kind regards to him, Miss Yule. You are quite well, I hope? I won’t detain you.’

‘My best wishes to him, Miss Yule. I hope you’re doing well? I won’t keep you.’

And he backed into a man who was coming inobservantly this way.

And he stepped back into a man who was coming this way without paying attention.

Marian went to the ladies’ cloak-room, put on her hat and jacket, and left the Museum. Some one passed out through the swing-door a moment before her, and as soon as she had issued beneath the portico, she saw that it was Jasper Milvain; she must have followed him through the hall, but her eyes had been cast down. The young man was now alone; as he descended the steps he looked to left and right, but not behind him. Marian followed at a distance of two or three yards. Nearing the gateway, she quickened her pace a little, so as to pass out into the street almost at the same moment as Milvain. But he did not turn his head.

Marian walked to the ladies' cloakroom, put on her hat and jacket, and left the museum. Someone went through the swing door just before her, and as soon as she stepped out under the portico, she realized it was Jasper Milvain; she must have followed him through the hall, but she had been looking down. The young man was now alone; as he walked down the steps, he glanced left and right, but not behind him. Marian trailed him by two or three yards. As she approached the gate, she picked up her pace a bit to exit onto the street almost at the same time as Milvain. But he didn’t turn his head.

He took to the right. Marian had fallen back again, but she still followed at a very little distance. His walk was slow, and she might easily have passed him in quite a natural way; in that case he could not help seeing her. But there was an uneasy suspicion in her mind that he really must have noticed her in the Reading-room. This was the first time she had seen him since their parting at Finden. Had he any reason for avoiding her? Did he take it ill that her father had shown no desire to keep up his acquaintance?

He turned right. Marian had fallen back again, but she was still trailing him at a short distance. He walked slowly, and she could have easily passed him without it being strange; if she did, he couldn’t help but notice her. But there was a nagging doubt in her mind that he must have noticed her in the Reading-room. This was the first time she had seen him since their goodbye at Finden. Did he have a reason for avoiding her? Was he upset that her father hadn’t wanted to maintain their friendship?

She allowed the interval between them to become greater. In a minute or two Milvain turned up Charlotte Street, and so she lost sight of him.

She let the space between them grow larger. After a minute or two, Milvain turned onto Charlotte Street, and then she lost sight of him.

In Tottenham Court Road she waited for an omnibus that would take her to the remoter part of Camden Town; obtaining a corner seat, she drew as far back as possible, and paid no attention to her fellow-passengers. At a point in Camden Road she at length alighted, and after ten minutes’ walk reached her destination in a quiet by-way called St Paul’s Crescent, consisting of small, decent houses. That at which she paused had an exterior promising comfort within; the windows were clean and neatly curtained, and the polishable appurtenances of the door gleamed to perfection. She admitted herself with a latch-key, and went straight upstairs without encountering anyone.

In Tottenham Court Road, she waited for a bus that would take her to the more distant part of Camden Town. Choosing a corner seat, she leaned back as much as possible and ignored her fellow passengers. Eventually, she got off at a stop on Camden Road and walked for ten minutes until she reached her destination on a quiet street called St Paul’s Crescent, which was lined with small, tidy houses. The one she stopped in front of looked welcoming, with clean windows and neatly hung curtains, and the door's shiny fixtures gleamed perfectly. She let herself in with a latch key and went straight upstairs without seeing anyone.

Descending again in a few moments, she entered the front room on the ground-floor. This served both as parlour and dining-room; it was comfortably furnished, without much attempt at adornment. On the walls were a few autotypes and old engravings. A recess between fireplace and window was fitted with shelves, which supported hundreds of volumes, the overflow of Yule’s library. The table was laid for a meal. It best suited the convenience of the family to dine at five o’clock; a long evening, so necessary to most literary people, was thus assured. Marian, as always when she had spent a day at the Museum, was faint with weariness and hunger; she cut a small piece of bread from a loaf on the table, and sat down in an easy chair.

Descending again in a few moments, she entered the front room on the ground floor. This served as both a living room and dining room; it was comfortably furnished, with little effort made for decoration. On the walls hung a few art prints and old engravings. A nook between the fireplace and the window was fitted with shelves, holding hundreds of books, the overflow from Yule’s library. The table was set for a meal. It worked best for the family's schedule to eat dinner at five o’clock, ensuring a long evening, which was essential for most writers. Marian, as always after spending a day at the Museum, was exhausted and hungry; she cut a small piece of bread from a loaf on the table and sat down in an armchair.

Presently appeared a short, slight woman of middle age, plainly dressed in serviceable grey. Her face could never have been very comely, and it expressed but moderate intelligence; its lines, however, were those of gentleness and good feeling. She had the look of one who is making a painful effort to understand something; this was fixed upon her features, and probably resulted from the peculiar conditions of her life.

Currently, a short, slender middle-aged woman appeared, simply dressed in practical gray. Her face was never particularly attractive, and it showed only a fair level of intelligence; however, the lines of her face conveyed gentleness and kindness. She had the expression of someone trying hard to grasp something, which was evident on her features and likely stemmed from the unique circumstances of her life.

‘Rather early, aren’t you, Marian?’ she said, as she closed the door and came forward to take a seat.

‘You’re here pretty early, aren’t you, Marian?’ she said, as she closed the door and moved forward to take a seat.

‘Yes; I have a little headache.’

‘Yeah; I have a bit of a headache.’

‘Oh, dear! Is that beginning again?’

‘Oh, no! Is that starting up again?’

Mrs Yule’s speech was seldom ungrammatical, and her intonation was not flagrantly vulgar, but the accent of the London poor, which brands as with hereditary baseness, still clung to her words, rendering futile such propriety of phrase as she owed to years of association with educated people. In the same degree did her bearing fall short of that which distinguishes a lady. The London work-girl is rarely capable of raising herself, or being raised, to a place in life above that to which she was born; she cannot learn how to stand and sit and move like a woman bred to refinement, any more than she can fashion her tongue to graceful speech. Mrs Yule’s behaviour to Marian was marked with a singular diffidence; she looked and spoke affectionately, but not with a mother’s freedom; one might have taken her for a trusted servant waiting upon her mistress. Whenever opportunity offered, she watched the girl in a curiously furtive way, that puzzled look on her face becoming very noticeable. Her consciousness was never able to accept as a familiar and unimportant fact the vast difference between herself and her daughter. Marian’s superiority in native powers, in delicacy of feeling, in the results of education, could never be lost sight of. Under ordinary circumstances she addressed the girl as if tentatively; however sure of anything from her own point of view, she knew that Marian, as often as not, had quite a different criterion. She understood that the girl frequently expressed an opinion by mere reticence, and hence the carefulness with which, when conversing, she tried to discover the real effect of her words in Marian’s features.

Mrs. Yule's speech was rarely ungrammatical, and her intonation wasn't obviously vulgar, but the accent of London's lower class, which marks her with a sort of inherited inferiority, still colored her words, making any politeness she had gained from years of being around educated people pointless. Likewise, her demeanor fell short of what defines a lady. A London working-class girl rarely has the chance to elevate herself or be elevated to a status above her upbringing; she can't learn how to stand, sit, and move like someone raised with sophistication any more than she can shape her speech to be elegant. Mrs. Yule's behavior towards Marian showed a notable shyness; she looked at her and spoke with affection, but not as freely as a mother would; one might mistake her for a devoted servant attending to her employer. Whenever there was a chance, she watched the girl in a strangely secretive manner, her puzzled expression becoming quite obvious. She could never fully accept the vast difference between herself and her daughter as a normal or insignificant fact. Marian's advantages in natural abilities, emotional sensitivity, and the benefits of education were always clear to her. Generally, she addressed the girl as if hesitantly; no matter how certain she was from her own perspective, she recognized that Marian often had a completely different way of judging things. She realized that the girl frequently communicated her thoughts by simply saying nothing, which is why she was so careful, when they talked, to try to gauge the true impact of her words by looking at Marian's face.

‘Hungry, too,’ she said, seeing the crust Marian was nibbling. ‘You really must have more lunch, dear. It isn’t right to go so long; you’ll make yourself ill.’

‘Hungry, too,’ she said, noticing the crust Marian was nibbling on. ‘You really need to have more lunch, dear. It’s not good to go so long without eating; you'll make yourself sick.’

‘Have you been out?’ Marian asked.

“Have you gone out?” Marian asked.

‘Yes; I went to Holloway.’

“Yeah, I went to Holloway.”

Mrs Yule sighed and looked very unhappy. By ‘going to Holloway’ was always meant a visit to her own relatives—a married sister with three children, and a brother who inhabited the same house. To her husband she scarcely ever ventured to speak of these persons; Yule had no intercourse with them. But Marian was always willing to listen sympathetically, and her mother often exhibited a touching gratitude for this condescension—as she deemed it.

Mrs. Yule sighed and looked very unhappy. "Going to Holloway" always meant visiting her own relatives—a married sister with three kids and a brother who lived in the same house. She hardly ever brought these people up to her husband; Yule had no connection with them. But Marian was always ready to listen sympathetically, and her mother often showed a heartfelt appreciation for this kindness—as she saw it.

‘Are things no better?’ the girl inquired.

‘Are things not better?’ the girl asked.

‘Worse, as far as I can see. John has begun his drinking again, and him and Tom quarrel every night; there’s no peace in the ‘ouse.’

‘Worse, as far as I can see. John has started drinking again, and he and Tom argue every night; there’s no peace in the house.’

If ever Mrs Yule lapsed into gross errors of pronunciation or phrase, it was when she spoke of her kinsfolk. The subject seemed to throw her back into a former condition.

If Mrs. Yule ever messed up her pronunciation or phrasing, it was when she talked about her family. The topic seemed to pull her back to an earlier time.

‘He ought to go and live by himself’ said Marian, referring to her mother’s brother, the thirsty John.

‘He should go and live on his own,’ Marian said, referring to her mother's brother, the thirsty John.

‘So he ought, to be sure. I’m always telling them so. But there! you don’t seem to be able to persuade them, they’re that silly and obstinate. And Susan, she only gets angry with me, and tells me not to talk in a stuck-up way. I’m sure I never say a word that could offend her; I’m too careful for that. And there’s Annie; no doing anything with her! She’s about the streets at all hours, and what’ll be the end of it no one can say. They’re getting that ragged, all of them. It isn’t Susan’s fault; indeed it isn’t. She does all that woman can. But Tom hasn’t brought home ten shillings the last month, and it seems to me as if he was getting careless. I gave her half-a-crown; it was all I could do. And the worst of it is, they think I could do so much more if I liked. They’re always hinting that we are rich people, and it’s no good my trying to persuade them. They think I’m telling falsehoods, and it’s very hard to be looked at in that way; it is, indeed, Marian.’

‘Of course he should. I keep telling them that. But there! You just can’t seem to convince them; they’re too silly and stubborn. And Susan just gets mad at me and says not to talk like I’m better than everyone. I know I never say anything that could upset her; I’m way too careful for that. And then there’s Annie; she’s impossible! She’s out on the streets at all hours, and who knows how it will all turn out? They’re all getting so ragged. It’s not Susan’s fault; honestly, it isn’t. She does everything a woman can do. But Tom hasn’t brought home even ten shillings in the last month, and it feels like he’s just not trying anymore. I gave her a half-crown; that was all I could manage. And the worst part is, they think I could do so much more if I wanted to. They keep suggesting that we’re wealthy people, and no amount of convincing helps. They think I’m lying, and it’s really hard to be seen that way; it truly is, Marian.’

‘You can’t help it, mother. I suppose their suffering makes them unkind and unjust.’

‘You can’t help it, mom. I guess their pain makes them mean and unfair.’

‘That’s just what it does, my dear; you never said anything truer. Poverty will make the best people bad, if it gets hard enough. Why there’s so much of it in the world, I’m sure I can’t see.’

‘That’s exactly it, my dear; you’ve never spoken a truer word. Poverty can turn even the best people sour if it becomes severe enough. I really can’t understand why there’s so much of it in the world.’

‘I suppose father will be back soon?’

‘I guess Dad will be back soon?’

‘He said dinner-time.’

“He said it’s dinner time.”

‘Mr Quarmby has been telling me something which is wonderfully good news if it’s really true; but I can’t help feeling doubtful.

‘Mr. Quarmby has been telling me something that is incredibly good news if it’s actually true; but I can’t shake off my doubt.

He says that father may perhaps be made editor of The Study at the end of this year.’

He says that Dad might be made the editor of The Study by the end of this year.

Mrs Yule, of course, understood, in outline, these affairs of the literary world; she thought of them only from the pecuniary point of view, but that made no essential distinction between her and the mass of literary people.

Mrs. Yule, of course, understood the general matters of the literary world; she viewed them purely from a financial perspective, but that didn't set her apart from most people in literature.

‘My word!’ she exclaimed. ‘What a thing that would be for us!’

‘Wow!’ she exclaimed. ‘What an amazing thing that would be for us!’

Marian had begun to explain her reluctance to base any hopes on Mr Quarmby’s prediction, when the sound of a postman’s knock at the house-door caused her mother to disappear for a moment.

Marian started to explain her hesitation to rely on Mr. Quarmby’s prediction when the sound of a postman knocking at the front door made her mother go away for a moment.

‘It’s for you,’ said Mrs Yule, returning. ‘From the country.’

‘It’s for you,’ Mrs. Yule said as she came back. ‘From the countryside.’

Marian took the letter and examined its address with interest.

Marian took the letter and looked at the address with interest.

‘It must be one of the Miss Milvains. Yes; Dora Milvain.’

‘It must be one of the Miss Milvains. Yeah; Dora Milvain.’

After Jasper’s departure from Finden his sisters had seen Marian several times, and the mutual liking between her and them had been confirmed by opportunity of conversation. The promise of correspondence had hitherto waited for fulfilment. It seemed natural to Marian that the younger of the two girls should write; Maud was attractive and agreeable, and probably clever, but Dora had more spontaneity in friendship.

After Jasper left Finden, his sisters had met with Marian several times, and the mutual friendship between her and them had been strengthened through their conversations. The promise to stay in touch had yet to be fulfilled. Marian thought it made sense for the younger sister to be the one to write; Maud was charming and pleasant, and likely smart, but Dora was more spontaneous in her friendships.

‘It will amuse you to hear,’ wrote Dora, ‘that the literary project our brother mentioned in a letter whilst you were still here is really to come to something. He has sent us a specimen chapter, written by himself of the “Child’s History of Parliament,” and Maud thinks she could carry it on in that style, if there’s no hurry. She and I have both set to work on English histories, and we shall be authorities before long. Jolly and Monk offer thirty pounds for the little book, if it suits them when finished, with certain possible profits in the future. Trust Jasper for making a bargain! So perhaps our literary career will be something more than a joke, after all. I hope it may; anything rather than a life of teaching. We shall be so glad to hear from you, if you still care to trouble about country girls.’

‘You’ll find it entertaining to know,’ wrote Dora, ‘that the writing project our brother mentioned in a letter while you were still here is actually happening. He has sent us a sample chapter he wrote for the “Child’s History of Parliament,” and Maud thinks she could continue it in that style, if there’s no rush. Both she and I have started working on English histories, and we’ll be experts before long. Jolly and Monk are offering thirty pounds for the little book, if they like it when it’s finished, along with some potential profits in the future. You can count on Jasper to make a good deal! So perhaps our writing careers will turn out to be more than just a joke, after all. I hope so; anything is better than a life of teaching. We’ll be so happy to hear from you if you still want to keep in touch with country girls.’

And so on. Marian read with a pleased smile, then acquainted her mother with the contents.

And so on. Marian read with a happy smile, then shared the contents with her mother.

‘I am very glad,’ said Mrs Yule; ‘it’s so seldom you get a letter.’

‘I’m really happy,’ said Mrs. Yule; ‘it’s so rare to receive a letter.’

‘Yes.’

‘Yes.’

Marian seemed desirous of saying something more, and her mother had a thoughtful look, suggestive of sympathetic curiosity.

Marian looked like she wanted to say more, and her mother had a thoughtful expression, indicating she was curiously sympathetic.

‘Is their brother likely to call here?’ Mrs Yule asked, with misgiving.

‘Is their brother going to call here?’ Mrs. Yule asked, feeling uneasy.

‘No one has invited him to,’ was the girl’s quiet reply.

‘No one has invited him to,’ the girl replied softly.

‘He wouldn’t come without that?’

"Will he not come without that?"

‘It’s not likely that he even knows the address.’

‘He probably doesn’t even know the address.’

‘Your father won’t be seeing him, I suppose?’

‘I guess your dad won’t be seeing him, right?’

‘By chance, perhaps. I don’t know.’

‘Maybe by chance. I’m not sure.’

It was very rare indeed for these two to touch upon any subject save those of everyday interest. In spite of the affection between them, their exchange of confidence did not go very far; Mrs Yule, who had never exercised maternal authority since Marian’s earliest childhood, claimed no maternal privileges, and Marian’s natural reserve had been strengthened by her mother’s respectful aloofness. The English fault of domestic reticence could scarcely go further than it did in their case; its exaggeration is, of course, one of the characteristics of those unhappy families severed by differences of education between the old and young.

It was definitely uncommon for these two to discuss anything beyond daily topics. Despite the affection they had for each other, their sharing of personal thoughts didn't go very deep; Mrs. Yule, who had never really taken on a motherly role since Marian was a child, didn't assert any maternal rights, and Marian’s natural shyness was only reinforced by her mother's respectful distance. The English tendency for emotional restraint in the home couldn’t have manifested more in their situation; its extreme version is, of course, one of the traits of those unfortunate families divided by educational differences between the older and younger generations.

‘I think,’ said Marian, in a forced tone, ‘that father hasn’t much liking for Mr Milvain.’

‘I think,’ said Marian, in a forced tone, ‘that Dad doesn’t really like Mr. Milvain.’

She wished to know if her mother had heard any private remarks on this subject, but she could not bring herself to ask directly.

She wanted to find out if her mom had heard any private comments about this topic, but she couldn't bring herself to ask directly.

‘I’m sure I don’t know,’ replied Mrs Yule, smoothing her dress. ‘He hasn’t said anything to me, Marian.’

‘I have no idea,’ replied Mrs. Yule, smoothing her dress. ‘He hasn’t mentioned anything to me, Marian.’

An awkward silence. The mother had fixed her eyes on the mantelpiece, and was thinking hard.

An uncomfortable silence. The mother was staring at the mantelpiece, deep in thought.

‘Otherwise,’ said Marian, ‘he would have said something, I should think, about meeting in London.’

‘Otherwise,’ said Marian, ‘he would have mentioned something, I think, about meeting in London.’

‘But is there anything in—this gentleman that he wouldn’t like?’

‘But is there anything about this guy that he wouldn't like?’

‘I don’t know of anything.’

"I don’t know anything."

Impossible to pursue the dialogue; Marian moved uneasily, then rose, said something about putting the letter away, and left the room.

Impossible to keep the conversation going; Marian fidgeted, then got up, mentioned something about putting the letter away, and left the room.

Shortly after, Alfred Yule entered the house. It was no uncommon thing for him to come home in a mood of silent moroseness, and this evening the first glimpse of his face was sufficient warning. He entered the dining-room and stood on the hearthrug reading an evening paper. His wife made a pretence of straightening things upon the table.

Shortly after, Alfred Yule came home. It wasn’t unusual for him to arrive in a mood of silent sulkiness, and this evening, the moment she saw his face was enough to give her a heads-up. He walked into the dining room and stood on the rug, reading an evening paper. His wife pretended to tidy up the table.

‘Well?’ he exclaimed irritably. ‘It’s after five; why isn’t dinner served?’

‘Well?’ he said irritably. ‘It’s after five; why isn’t dinner ready?’

‘It’s just coming, Alfred.’

‘It’s on the way, Alfred.’

Even the average man of a certain age is an alarming creature when dinner delays itself; the literary man in such a moment goes beyond all parallel. If there be added the fact that he has just returned from a very unsatisfactory interview with a publisher, wife and daughter may indeed regard the situation as appalling. Marian came in, and at once observed her mother’s frightened face.

Even the average guy of a certain age is a pretty alarming presence when dinner is late; the writer in that moment is on another level entirely. If you consider that he’s just come back from a really disappointing meeting with a publisher, his wife and daughter might see the situation as truly concerning. Marian walked in and immediately noticed her mother’s scared expression.

‘Father,’ she said, hoping to make a diversion, ‘Mr Hinks has sent you his new book, and wishes—’

‘Dad,’ she said, trying to change the subject, ‘Mr. Hinks has sent you his new book and wants—’

‘Then take Mr Hinks’s new book back to him, and tell him that I have quite enough to do without reading tedious trash. He needn’t expect that I’m going to write a notice of it. The simpleton pesters me beyond endurance. I wish to know, if you please,’ he added with savage calm, ‘when dinner will be ready. If there’s time to write a few letters, just tell me at once, that I mayn’t waste half an hour.’

‘Then take Mr. Hinks’s new book back to him and tell him I have plenty to do without reading boring junk. He shouldn’t expect me to write a review of it. The idiot bothers me to the point of madness. I’d like to know, if you don’t mind,’ he added with a calm bitterness, ‘when dinner will be ready. If there’s time to write a few letters, just let me know right away so I don’t waste half an hour.’

Marian resented this unreasonable anger, but she durst not reply.

Marian was frustrated by this unreasonable anger, but she didn’t dare to respond.

At that moment the servant appeared with a smoking joint, and Mrs Yule followed carrying dishes of vegetables. The man of letters seated himself and carved angrily. He began his meal by drinking half a glass of ale; then he ate a few mouthfuls in a quick, hungry way, his head bent closely over the plate. It happened commonly enough that dinner passed without a word of conversation, and that seemed likely to be the case this evening.

At that moment, the servant came in with a smoking joint, and Mrs. Yule followed, carrying dishes of vegetables. The writer sat down and started carving angrily. He kicked off his meal by downing half a glass of ale; then he quickly ate a few bites hungrily, his head bent closely over the plate. It often happened that dinner went by without any conversation, and it looked like that would be the case tonight.

To his wife Yule seldom addressed anything but a curt inquiry or caustic comment; if he spoke humanly at table it was to Marian.

To his wife, Yule rarely said anything more than a quick question or a sharp comment; if he talked like a normal person at the table, it was to Marian.

Ten minutes passed; then Marian resolved to try any means of clearing the atmosphere.

Ten minutes went by; then Marian decided to do whatever it took to lighten the mood.

‘Mr Quarmby gave me a message for you,’ she said. ‘A friend of his, Nathaniel Walker, has told him that Mr Rackett will very likely offer you the editorship of The Study.’

‘Mr. Quarmby sent me a message for you,’ she said. ‘A friend of his, Nathaniel Walker, mentioned that Mr. Rackett will probably offer you the editorship of The Study.’

Yule stopped in the act of mastication. He fixed his eyes intently on the sirloin for half a minute; then, by way of the beer-jug and the salt-cellar, turned them upon Marian’s face.

Yule paused while chewing. He stared at the sirloin for half a minute; then, after glancing at the beer jug and the salt shaker, he directed his gaze at Marian’s face.

‘Walker told him that? Pooh!’

"Walker said that? No way!"

‘It was a great secret. I wasn’t to breathe a word to any one but you.’

‘It was a huge secret. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone except you.’

‘Walker’s a fool and Quarmby’s an ass,’ remarked her father.

‘Walker’s an idiot and Quarmby’s a jerk,’ her father said.

But there was a tremulousness in his bushy eyebrows; his forehead half unwreathed itself; he continued to eat more slowly, and as if with appreciation of the viands.

But there was a quiver in his bushy eyebrows; his forehead partially relaxed; he kept eating more slowly, as if truly enjoying the food.

‘What did he say? Repeat it to me in his words.’

‘What did he say? Say it back to me in his words.’

Marian did so, as nearly as possible. He listened with a scoffing expression, but still his features relaxed.

Marian did just that, as closely as he could. He listened with a mocking look, but his face still softened.

‘I don’t credit Rackett with enough good sense for such a proposal,’ he said deliberately. ‘And I’m not very sure that I should accept it if it were made. That fellow Fadge has all but ruined the paper. It will amuse me to see how long it takes him to make Culpepper’s new magazine a distinct failure.’

‘I don’t think Rackett is smart enough for such a proposal,’ he said slowly. ‘And I’m not really sure I’d accept it even if it were offered. That guy Fadge has almost destroyed the paper. I’ll find it entertaining to see how long it takes him to turn Culpepper’s new magazine into a complete failure.’

A silence of five minutes ensued; then Yule said of a sudden.

A silence of five minutes followed; then Yule suddenly said.

‘Where is Hinks’s book?’

‘Where's Hinks’s book?’

Marian reached it from a side table; under this roof, literature was regarded almost as a necessary part of table garnishing.

Marian grabbed it from a side table; under this roof, literature was seen as almost an essential part of table decor.

‘I thought it would be bigger than this,’ Yule muttered, as he opened the volume in a way peculiar to bookish men.

'I thought it would be bigger than this,' Yule muttered, as he opened the book in a way typical of bookish guys.

A page was turned down, as if to draw attention to some passage. Yule put on his eyeglasses, and soon made a discovery which had the effect of completing the transformation of his visage. His eyes glinted, his chin worked in pleasurable emotion. In a moment he handed the book to Marian, indicating the small type of a foot-note; it embodied an effusive eulogy—introduced a propos of some literary discussion—of ‘Mr Alfred Yule’s critical acumen, scholarly research, lucid style,’ and sundry other distinguished merits.

A page was flipped down, as if to highlight a certain part. Yule put on his glasses and quickly made a discovery that completely changed his expression. His eyes sparkled, and his chin moved with excitement. Moments later, he handed the book to Marian, pointing out a small footnote; it contained an enthusiastic praise—brought up during some literary discussion—of "Mr. Alfred Yule’s critical insight, scholarly research, clear writing," and various other notable achievements.

‘That is kind of him,’ said Marian.

"That's really nice of him," said Marian.

‘Good old Hinks! I suppose I must try to get him half-a-dozen readers.’

‘Good old Hinks! I guess I should try to get him six readers.’

‘May I see?’ asked Mrs Yule, under her breath, bending to Marian.

“Can I see?” Mrs. Yule asked quietly, leaning towards Marian.

Her daughter passed on the volume, and Mrs Yule read the footnote with that look of slow apprehension which is so pathetic when it signifies the heart’s good-will thwarted by the mind’s defect.

Her daughter handed over the book, and Mrs. Yule read the footnote with that expression of gradual understanding that is so sad when it shows the heart's good intentions being blocked by the mind's limitations.

‘That’ll be good for you, Alfred, won’t it?’ she said, glancing at her husband.

‘That’ll be good for you, Alfred, right?’ she said, looking at her husband.

‘Certainly,’ he replied, with a smile of contemptuous irony. ‘If Hinks goes on, he’ll establish my reputation.’

‘Sure,’ he replied, with a smirk of sarcastic disdain. ‘If Hinks keeps this up, he’ll make me famous.’

And he took a draught of ale, like one who is reinvigorated for the battle of life. Marian, regarding him askance, mused on what seemed to her a strange anomaly in his character; it had often surprised her that a man of his temperament and powers should be so dependent upon the praise and blame of people whom he justly deemed his inferiors.

And he took a drink of ale, like someone who is ready to tackle the challenges of life. Marian, looking at him sideways, thought about what she saw as a strange contradiction in his character; it had often puzzled her that a man with his temperament and skills could be so influenced by the opinions of people he rightly considered beneath him.

Yule was glancing over the pages of the work.

Yule was scrolling through the pages of the work.

‘A pity the man can’t write English.’ What a vocabulary! Obstruent—reliable—particularization—fabulosity—different to—averse to—did one ever come across such a mixture of antique pedantry and modern vulgarism! Surely he has his name from the German hinken—eh, Marian?’

‘What a shame the guy can’t write in English.’ What a vocabulary! Obstruent—reliable—specificity—fabulosity—different from—averse to—has anyone ever seen such a blend of old-fashioned pretentiousness and modern slang! Surely his name comes from the German word hinken—right, Marian?’

With a laugh he tossed the book away again. His mood was wholly changed. He gave various evidences of enjoying the meal, and began to talk freely with his daughter.

With a laugh, he threw the book aside once more. His mood had completely shifted. He showed several signs of enjoying the meal and started chatting comfortably with his daughter.

‘Finished the authoresses?’

‘Finished the authors?’

‘Not quite.’

‘Not really.’

‘No hurry. When you have time I want you to read Ditchley’s new book, and jot down a selection of his worst sentences. I’ll use them for an article on contemporary style; it occurred to me this afternoon.’

‘No rush. When you have a moment, I’d like you to read Ditchley’s new book and pick out some of his worst sentences. I’ll use them for an article on contemporary style; it came to me this afternoon.’

He smiled grimly. Mrs Yule’s face exhibited much contentment, which became radiant joy when her husband remarked casually that the custard was very well made to-day. Dinner over, he rose without ceremony and went off to his study.

He smiled wryly. Mrs. Yule's face showed a lot of satisfaction, which turned into bright joy when her husband mentioned casually that the custard was really well made today. After dinner, he got up without any fuss and headed to his study.

The man had suffered much and toiled stupendously. It was not inexplicable that dyspepsia, and many another ill that literary flesh is heir to, racked him sore.

The man had endured a lot and worked incredibly hard. It was no surprise that indigestion and many other issues that come with being a writer troubled him greatly.

Go back to the days when he was an assistant at a bookseller’s in Holborn. Already ambition devoured him, and the genuine love of knowledge goaded his brain. He allowed himself but three or four hours of sleep; he wrought doggedly at languages, ancient and modern; he tried his hand at metrical translations; he planned tragedies. Practically he was living in a past age; his literary ideals were formed on the study of Boswell.

Go back to the time when he was an assistant at a bookstore in Holborn. Ambition was already consuming him, and a true love for knowledge pushed his mind. He let himself have only three or four hours of sleep; he worked tirelessly on languages, both ancient and modern; he experimented with metrical translations; he outlined tragedies. Essentially, he was living in a bygone era; his literary ideals were shaped by studying Boswell.

The head assistant in the shop went away to pursue a business which had come into his hands on the death of a relative; it was a small publishing concern, housed in an alley off the Strand, and Mr Polo (a singular name, to become well known in the course of time) had his ideas about its possible extension. Among other instances of activity he started a penny weekly paper, called All Sorts, and in the pages of this periodical Alfred Yule first appeared as an author. Before long he became sub-editor of All Sorts, then actual director of the paper. He said good-bye to the bookseller, and his literary career fairly began.

The head assistant at the shop left to start a business he inherited after a relative passed away; it was a small publishing company located in an alley off the Strand. Mr. Polo (an unusual name that would gain fame over time) had big ideas about expanding it. Among other initiatives, he launched a penny weekly paper called All Sorts, and it was in the pages of this publication that Alfred Yule made his debut as an author. Before long, he became the sub-editor of All Sorts and eventually the director of the paper. He said goodbye to the bookseller, and his literary career truly began.

Mr Polo used to say that he never knew a man who could work so many consecutive hours as Alfred Yule. A faithful account of all that the young man learnt and wrote from 1855 to 1860—that is, from his twenty-fifth to his thirtieth year—would have the look of burlesque exaggeration. He had set it before him to become a celebrated man, and he was not unaware that the attainment of that end would cost him quite exceptional labour, seeing that nature had not favoured him with brilliant parts. No matter; his name should be spoken among men unless he killed himself in the struggle for success.

Mr. Polo used to say that he had never met anyone who could work as many hours in a row as Alfred Yule. A detailed account of everything the young man learned and wrote from 1855 to 1860—that is, from his twenty-fifth to his thirtieth year—would seem like a ridiculous exaggeration. He had decided he wanted to become a well-known figure, and he was fully aware that achieving that goal would require an extraordinary amount of effort, given that nature hadn’t gifted him with exceptional talent. Regardless, his name would be mentioned among others unless he burned himself out in the quest for success.

In the meantime he married. Living in a garret, and supplying himself with the materials of his scanty meals, he was in the habit of making purchases at a little chandler’s shop, where he was waited upon by a young girl of no beauty, but, as it seemed to him, of amiable disposition. One holiday he met this girl as she was walking with a younger sister in the streets; he made her nearer acquaintance, and before long she consented to be his wife and share his garret. His brothers, John and Edmund, cried out that he had made an unpardonable fool of himself in marrying so much beneath him; that he might well have waited until his income improved. This was all very well, but they might just as reasonably have bidden him reject plain food because a few years hence he would be able to purchase luxuries; he could not do without nourishment of some sort, and the time had come when he could not do without a wife. Many a man with brains but no money has been compelled to the same step. Educated girls have a pronounced distaste for London garrets; not one in fifty thousand would share poverty with the brightest genius ever born. Seeing that marriage is so often indispensable to that very success which would enable a man of parts to mate equally, there is nothing for it but to look below one’s own level, and be grateful to the untaught woman who has pity on one’s loneliness.

In the meantime, he got married. Living in a small attic and getting what he could for his meager meals, he often bought supplies at a little convenience store, where he was served by a young girl who wasn’t particularly beautiful but seemed to have a kind personality. One holiday, he saw this girl walking with her younger sister in the streets; he got to know her better, and soon enough she agreed to marry him and share his attic. His brothers, John and Edmund, exclaimed that he had made a huge mistake marrying someone so much below his status and that he should have waited until he was earning more. While that sounded reasonable, it was just as sensible to tell him to avoid basic food because soon he could afford better; he couldn’t live without some kind of sustenance, and the time had come when he couldn’t live without a wife. Many intelligent men without money have been forced into the same decision. Educated women tend to really dislike living in cramped London attics; not one in fifty thousand would choose to endure hardship with the most brilliant genius out there. Since marriage is often essential for achieving the very success that would allow a gifted man to find a partner on his level, the only option is to look for someone beneath him and appreciate the unschooled woman who shows compassion for his loneliness.

Unfortunately, Alfred Yule was not so grateful as he might have been. His marriage proved far from unsuccessful; he might have found himself united to a vulgar shrew, whereas the girl had the great virtues of humility and kindliness. She endeavoured to learn of him, but her dulness and his impatience made this attempt a failure; her human qualities had to suffice. And they did, until Yule began to lift his head above the literary mob. Previously, he often lost his temper with her, but never expressed or felt repentance of his marriage; now he began to see only the disadvantages of his position, and, forgetting the facts of the case, to imagine that he might well have waited for a wife who could share his intellectual existence. Mrs Yule had to pass through a few years of much bitterness. Already a martyr to dyspepsia, and often suffering from bilious headaches of extreme violence, her husband now and then lost all control of his temper, all sense of kind feeling, even of decency, and reproached the poor woman with her ignorance, her stupidity, her low origin. Naturally enough she defended herself with such weapons as a sense of cruel injustice supplied. More than once the two all but parted. It did not come to an actual rupture, chiefly because Yule could not do without his wife; her tendance had become indispensable. And then there was the child to consider.

Unfortunately, Alfred Yule wasn't as grateful as he could have been. His marriage turned out to be far from a failure; he could have ended up with a rude nag, while the girl had the wonderful traits of humility and kindness. She tried to learn from him, but her dullness and his impatience made that effort a lost cause; her human qualities had to be enough. And they were, until Yule started to rise above the literary crowd. Before, he often lost his temper with her but never expressed or felt remorse about marrying her; now he began to see only the downsides of his situation and, ignoring the reality, imagined that he could have waited for a wife who could share his intellectual life. Mrs. Yule had to endure several years of bitterness. Already suffering from dyspepsia and often plagued by severe bilious headaches, her husband occasionally lost all control over his temper, any sense of kindness, and even basic decency, blaming the poor woman for her ignorance, her lack of intelligence, and her humble background. Naturally, she defended herself with whatever sense of cruel injustice she could muster. More than once, they nearly split up. It never came to an actual separation, mainly because Yule couldn’t manage without his wife; her support had become essential. Then there was also the child to think about.

From the first it was Yule’s dread lest Marian should be infected with her mother’s faults of speech and behaviour. He would scarcely permit his wife to talk to the child. At the earliest possible moment Marian was sent to a day-school, and in her tenth year she went as weekly boarder to an establishment at Fulham; any sacrifice of money to insure her growing up with the tongue and manners of a lady. It can scarcely have been a light trial to the mother to know that contact with her was regarded as her child’s greatest danger; but in her humility and her love for Marian she offered no resistance. And so it came to pass that one day the little girl, hearing her mother make some flagrant grammatical error, turned to the other parent and asked gravely: ‘Why doesn’t mother speak as properly as we do?’ Well, that is one of the results of such marriages, one of the myriad miseries that result from poverty.

From the start, Yule was worried that Marian would pick up her mother’s speech and behavior flaws. He barely let his wife talk to the child. As soon as he could, Marian was sent to a day school, and by the time she was ten, she became a weekly boarder at a school in Fulham; any expense was worth it to ensure she grew up with the speech and manners of a lady. It must have been a heavy burden for the mother to realize that being around her was seen as the biggest threat to her child, but out of her humility and love for Marian, she didn’t resist. Eventually, one day the little girl, hearing her mother make a glaring grammatical mistake, turned to her other parent and asked seriously, “Why doesn’t Mom speak as properly as we do?” Well, that’s one of the effects of such marriages, one of the countless struggles that come from poverty.

The end was gained at all hazards. Marian grew up everything that her father desired. Not only had she the bearing of refinement, but it early became obvious that nature had well endowed her with brains. From the nursery her talk was of books, and at the age of twelve she was already able to give her father some assistance as an amanuensis.

The goal was achieved at any cost. Marian developed into everything her father wanted. She not only carried herself with grace, but it quickly became clear that she was also naturally smart. From a young age, she talked about books, and by the time she was twelve, she was already able to help her father as a secretary.

At that time Edmund Yule was still living; he had overcome his prejudices, and there was intercourse between his household and that of the literary man. Intimacy it could not be called, for Mrs Edmund (who was the daughter of a law-stationer) had much difficulty in behaving to Mrs Alfred with show of suavity. Still, the cousins Amy and Marian from time to time saw each other, and were not unsuitable companions. It was the death of Amy’s father that brought these relations to an end; left to the control of her own affairs Mrs Edmund was not long in giving offence to Mrs Alfred, and so to Alfred himself. The man of letters might be inconsiderate enough in his behaviour to his wife, but as soon as anyone else treated her with disrespect that was quite another matter. Purely on this account he quarrelled violently with his brother’s widow, and from that day the two families kept apart.

At that time, Edmund Yule was still alive; he had moved past his prejudices, and there was interaction between his household and that of the writer. It couldn't be called intimacy, as Mrs. Edmund (who was the daughter of a law-stationer) struggled to treat Mrs. Alfred with any grace. Still, the cousins Amy and Marian occasionally saw each other and were decent companions. It was Amy’s father's death that ended these connections; once left to manage her own affairs, Mrs. Edmund quickly offended Mrs. Alfred, and consequently Alfred himself. The writer might have been thoughtless in his treatment of his wife, but if anyone else disrespected her, that was a different story. Because of this, he had a huge falling out with his brother’s widow, and from that point on, the two families stayed apart.

The chapter of quarrels was one of no small importance in Alfred’s life; his difficult temper, and an ever-increasing sense of neglected merit, frequently put him at war with publishers, editors, fellow-authors, and he had an unhappy trick of exciting the hostility of men who were most likely to be useful to him. With Mr Polo, for instance, who held him in esteem, and whose commercial success made him a valuable connection, Alfred ultimately broke on a trifling matter of personal dignity. Later came the great quarrel with Clement Fadge, an affair of considerable advantage in the way of advertisement to both the men concerned. It happened in the year 1873. At that time Yule was editor of a weekly paper called The Balance, a literary organ which aimed high, and failed to hit the circulation essential to its existence. Fadge, a younger man, did reviewing for The Balance; he was in needy circumstances, and had wrought himself into Yule’s good opinion by judicious flattery. But with a clear eye for the main chance Mr Fadge soon perceived that Yule could only be of temporary use to him, and that the editor of a well-established weekly which lost no opportunity of throwing scorn upon Yule and all his works would be a much more profitable conquest. He succeeded in transferring his services to the more flourishing paper, and struck out a special line of work by the free exercise of a malicious flippancy which was then without rival in the periodical press. When he had thoroughly got his hand in, it fell to Mr Fadge, in the mere way of business, to review a volume of his old editor’s, a rather pretentious and longwinded but far from worthless essay ‘On Imagination as a National Characteristic.’ The notice was a masterpiece; its exquisite virulence set the literary circles chuckling. Concerning the authorship there was no mystery, and Alfred Yule had the indiscretion to make a violent reply, a savage assault upon Fadge, in the columns of The Balance. Fadge desired nothing better; the uproar which arose—chaff, fury, grave comments, sneering spite—could only result in drawing universal attention to his anonymous cleverness, and throwing ridicule upon the heavy, conscientious man. Well, you probably remember all about it. It ended in the disappearance of Yule’s struggling paper, and the establishment on a firm basis of Fadge’s reputation.

The chapter of arguments was a significant part of Alfred’s life; his difficult temperament and growing sense of overlooked talent often put him at odds with publishers, editors, and fellow authors. He had a knack for provoking the hostility of people who could have been helpful to him. Take Mr. Polo, for example, who respected him and whose commercial success made him a valuable connection. Alfred ended up breaking off relations over a minor issue of personal dignity. Then there was the major dispute with Clement Fadge, which turned out to be quite advantageous in terms of publicity for both parties involved. This all happened in 1873. At that time, Yule was the editor of a weekly magazine called The Balance, a literary publication that aimed high but struggled to achieve the circulation necessary for survival. Fadge, a younger man, did reviews for The Balance; he was in a tough financial situation and had won Yule’s favor through shrewd flattery. However, Mr. Fadge quickly realized that Yule would only be of temporary benefit to him and that the editor of a more established weekly that never missed a chance to mock Yule and his work would be a much more profitable target. He successfully moved to the more thriving publication and began to carve out a unique niche by using a sharp, playful sarcasm that was unmatched in the periodical press at that time. Once he was well-established, it fell to Mr. Fadge, simply as part of his business, to review a volume from his former editor, a rather pretentious and lengthy but valuable essay titled ‘On Imagination as a National Characteristic.’ The review was a masterpiece; its exquisite harshness had the literary world laughing. There was no mystery about who wrote it, and Alfred Yule foolishly made a furious response, a vicious attack on Fadge, in the pages of The Balance. Fadge welcomed this; the uproar that followed—mockery, anger, serious commentary, and sneering contempt—could only serve to spotlight his anonymous cleverness and ridicule the serious, earnest man. Well, you probably remember all this. It ended with Yule’s struggling paper disappearing and Fadge's reputation being firmly established.

It would be difficult to mention any department of literary endeavour in which Yule did not, at one time or another, try his fortune. Turn to his name in the Museum Catalogue; the list of works appended to it will amuse you. In his thirtieth year he published a novel; it failed completely, and the same result awaited a similar experiment five years later. He wrote a drama of modern life, and for some years strove to get it acted, but in vain; finally it appeared ‘for the closet’—giving Clement Fadge such an opportunity as he seldom enjoyed. The one noteworthy thing about these productions, and about others of equally mistaken direction, was the sincerity of their workmanship. Had Yule been content to manufacture a novel or a play with due disregard for literary honour, he might perchance have made a mercantile success; but the poor fellow had not pliancy enough for this. He took his efforts au grand serieux; thought he was producing works of art; pursued his ambition in a spirit of fierce conscientiousness. In spite of all, he remained only a journeyman. The kind of work he did best was poorly paid, and could bring no fame. At the age of fifty he was still living in a poor house in an obscure quarter. He earned enough for his actual needs, and was under no pressing fear for the morrow, so long as his faculties remained unimpaired; but there was no disguising from himself that his life had been a failure. And the thought tormented him.

It would be hard to name any area of literary work where Yule didn’t, at some point, try his luck. Check out his name in the Museum Catalogue; the list of works attached to it will entertain you. In his thirties, he published a novel; it completely flopped, and the same fate awaited a similar attempt five years later. He wrote a drama about modern life and spent years trying to get it performed, but with no luck; ultimately, it was published ‘for the closet’—giving Clement Fadge an opportunity he rarely enjoyed. The one remarkable thing about these works, and others of similar misdirection, was the sincerity behind them. If Yule had been willing to create a novel or a play with little regard for literary integrity, he might have achieved commercial success; but the poor guy didn’t have the flexibility for that. He took his efforts very seriously, thought he was creating art, and pursued his ambition with a strong sense of duty. Despite everything, he remained just a journeyman. The type of work he did best was low-paying and brought no fame. At fifty years old, he was still living in a run-down house in a little-known area. He made enough to cover his basic needs and wasn’t in immediate danger for tomorrow, as long as his faculties stayed intact; but he couldn’t hide from himself that his life had been a failure. And that thought haunted him.

Now there had come unexpectedly a gleam of hope. If indeed, the man Rackett thought of offering him the editorship of The Study he might even yet taste the triumphs for which he had so vehemently longed. The Study was a weekly paper of fair repute. Fadge had harmed it, no doubt of that, by giving it a tone which did not suit the majority of its readers—serious people, who thought that the criticism of contemporary writing offered an opportunity for something better than a display of malevolent wit. But a return to the old earnestness would doubtless set all right again. And the joy of sitting in that dictatorial chair! The delight of having his own organ once more, of making himself a power in the world of letters, of emphasising to a large audience his developed methods of criticism!

Now, unexpectedly, there was a glimmer of hope. If the man Rackett was really considering offering him the editorship of The Study, he might finally experience the successes he had longed for so passionately. The Study was a weekly paper with a decent reputation. Fadge had definitely hurt it by giving it a tone that didn’t resonate with most of its readers—serious people who believed that critiquing contemporary writing should be about more than just showcasing petty sarcasm. But going back to the original seriousness would surely fix everything. And the thrill of sitting in that powerful chair! The joy of having his own publication again, of establishing himself as a significant figure in the literary world, and of showcasing his refined methods of criticism to a wide audience!

An embittered man is a man beset by evil temptations. The Study contained each week certain columns of flying gossip, and when he thought of this, Yule also thought of Clement Fadge, and sundry other of his worst enemies. How the gossip column can be used for hostile purposes, yet without the least overt offence, he had learnt only too well. Sometimes the mere omission of a man’s name from a list of authors can mortify and injure. In our day the manipulation of such paragraphs has become a fine art; but you recall numerous illustrations. Alfred knew well enough how incessantly the tempter would be at his ear; he said to himself that in certain instances yielding would be no dishonour. He himself had many a time been mercilessly treated; in the very interest of the public it was good that certain men should suffer a snubbing, and his fingers itched to have hold of the editorial pen. Ha, ha! Like the war-horse he snuffed the battle afar off.

An embittered man is a man surrounded by evil temptations. The magazine included certain columns of gossip every week, and when he thought about this, Yule also thought of Clement Fadge and several of his worst enemies. He had learned all too well how the gossip column can be used for malicious purposes without any obvious offense. Sometimes, just leaving a person’s name out of a list of authors can humiliate and harm them. In our time, manipulating such columns has become a fine art; but you can recall countless examples. Alfred knew well how constantly the tempter would be whispering in his ear; he told himself that in some cases, giving in wouldn’t be dishonorable. He had often been treated ruthlessly; in the public’s interest, it was good for certain individuals to face criticism, and he felt a strong urge to take up the editorial pen. Ha, ha! Like a battle-hungry horse, he sensed the fight from a distance.

No work this evening, though there were tasks which pressed for completion. His study—the only room on the ground level except the dining-room—was small, and even a good deal of the floor was encumbered with books, but he found space for walking nervously hither and thither. He was doing this when, about half-past nine, his wife appeared at the door, bringing him a cup of coffee and some biscuits, his wonted supper. Marian generally waited upon him at this time, and he asked why she had not come.

No work tonight, even though there were tasks that needed finishing. His study—the only room on the ground floor besides the dining room—was small, and a lot of the floor was covered with books, but he managed to find space to pace back and forth nervously. He was doing this when, around 9:30, his wife showed up at the door with a cup of coffee and some biscuits, his usual dinner. Marian usually served him at this time, so he asked why she hadn’t come.

‘She has one of her headaches again, I’m sorry to say,’ Mrs Yule replied. ‘I persuaded her to go to bed early.’

‘She has another headache, I’m sorry to say,’ Mrs. Yule replied. ‘I convinced her to head to bed early.’

Having placed the tray upon the table—books had to be pushed aside—she did not seem disposed to withdraw.

Having set the tray on the table—she had to move some books aside—she didn’t seem willing to leave.

‘Are you busy, Alfred?’

"Are you busy, Alfred?"

‘Why?’

'Why?'

‘I thought I should like just to speak of something.’

‘I thought I would like to talk about something.’

She was using the opportunity of his good humour. Yule spoke to her with the usual carelessness, but not forbiddingly.

She was taking advantage of his good mood. Yule talked to her with the usual indifference, but not in a way that felt unapproachable.

‘What is it? Those Holloway people, I’ll warrant.’

‘What is it? Those Holloway folks, I bet.’

‘No, no! It’s about Marian. She had a letter from one of those young ladies this afternoon.’

‘No, no! It’s about Marian. She got a letter from one of those young ladies this afternoon.’

‘What young ladies?’ asked Yule, with impatience of this circuitous approach.

'What young ladies?' Yule asked, feeling impatient with this roundabout way of talking.

‘The Miss Milvains.’

'Miss Milvains'

‘Well, there’s no harm that I know of. They’re decent people.’

‘Well, I don’t see any harm. They’re good people.’

‘Yes; so you told me. But she began to speak about their brother, and—’

‘Yes; so you told me. But she started to talk about their brother, and—’

‘What about him? Do say what you want to say, and have done with it!’

‘What about him? Just say what you want to say and get it over with!’

‘I can’t help thinking, Alfred, that she’s disappointed you didn’t ask him to come here.’

'I can't help but think, Alfred, that she's let down you didn't invite him to come here.'

Yule stared at her in slight surprise. He was still not angry, and seemed quite willing to consider this matter suggested to him so timorously.

Yule looked at her with a bit of surprise. He wasn't angry yet and seemed open to considering the issue she had brought up so hesitantly.

‘Oh, you think so? Well, I don’t know. Why should I have asked him? It was only because Miss Harrow seemed to wish it that I saw him down there. I have no particular interest in him. And as for—’

‘Oh, you think so? Well, I don’t know. Why should I have asked him? It was only because Miss Harrow seemed to want it that I saw him down there. I have no specific interest in him. And as for—’

He broke off and seated himself. Mrs Yule stood at a distance.

He stopped speaking and sat down. Mrs. Yule stood a little way off.

‘We must remember her age,’ she said.

‘We have to keep her age in mind,’ she said.

‘Why yes, of course.’

"Absolutely, of course."

He mused, and began to nibble a biscuit.

He pondered and started to snack on a cookie.

‘And you know, Alfred, she never does meet any young men. I’ve often thought it wasn’t right to her.’

‘And you know, Alfred, she never meets any young men. I’ve often thought it wasn’t fair to her.’

‘H’m! But this lad Milvain is a very doubtful sort of customer. To begin with, he has nothing, and they tell me his mother for the most part supports him. I don’t quite approve of that. She isn’t well off, and he ought to have been making a living by now.

‘H’m! But this guy Milvain is really questionable. To start with, he doesn't have anything, and I’ve heard that his mom mostly supports him. I’m not really okay with that. She isn’t doing well financially, and he should have been earning his own living by now.

He has a kind of cleverness, may do something; but there’s no being sure of that.’

He has a certain cleverness and might accomplish something; but it’s hard to be sure about that.

These thoughts were not coming into his mind for the first time. On the occasion when he met Milvain and Marian together in the country road he had necessarily reflected upon the possibilities of such intercourse, and with the issue that he did not care to give any particular encouragement to its continuance. He of course heard of Milvain’s leave-taking call, and he purposely refrained from seeing the young man after that. The matter took no very clear shape in his meditations; he saw no likelihood that either of the young people would think much of the other after their parting, and time enough to trouble one’s head with such subjects when they could no longer be postponed. It would not have been pleasant to him to foresee a life of spinsterhood for his daughter; but she was young, and—she was a valuable assistant.

These thoughts weren't new to him. When he ran into Milvain and Marian together on the country road, he had thought about the potential for that kind of relationship and decided he didn’t want to encourage it. He had heard about Milvain’s goodbye visit and intentionally avoided seeing the guy afterward. His thoughts on the matter weren't very clear; he doubted either of the young people would think much of each other after parting, and he figured there was plenty of time to deal with such issues when they couldn't be ignored anymore. He didn't like the idea of his daughter facing a life of singleness, but she was young—and she was an invaluable helper.

How far did that latter consideration weigh with him? He put the question pretty distinctly to himself now that his wife had broached the matter thus unexpectedly. Was he prepared to behave with deliberate selfishness? Never yet had any conflict been manifested between his interests and Marian’s; practically he was in the habit of counting upon her aid for an indefinite period.

How much did that last thought affect him? He asked himself this question clearly now that his wife had brought it up so unexpectedly. Was he ready to act with intentional selfishness? Until now, there had never been a conflict between his interests and Marian’s; he had practically gotten used to relying on her support for the foreseeable future.

If indeed he became editor of The Study, why, in that case her assistance would be less needful. And indeed it seemed probable that young Milvain had a future before him.

If he really became the editor of The Study, then her help wouldn't be as necessary. And it looked likely that young Milvain had a promising future ahead of him.

‘But, in any case,’ he said aloud, partly continuing his thoughts, partly replying to a look of disappointment on his wife’s face, ‘how do you know that he has any wish to come and see Marian?’

‘But, in any case,’ he said out loud, partly following his thoughts, partly responding to the disappointed look on his wife’s face, ‘how do you know that he wants to come and see Marian?’

‘I don’t know anything about it, of course.’

‘I don’t know anything about it, of course.’

‘And you may have made a mistake about her. What made you think she—had him in mind?’

‘And you might have made a mistake about her. What made you think she—was thinking of him?’

‘Well, it was her way of speaking, you know. And then, she asked if you had got a dislike to him.’

‘Well, it was her way of talking, you know. And then, she asked if you had developed a dislike for him.’

‘She did? H’m! Well, I don’t think Milvain is any good to Marian. He’s just the kind of man to make himself agreeable to a girl for the fun of the thing.’

‘She did? Hmm! Well, I don’t think Milvain is good for Marian. He’s just the kind of guy who flatters a girl for his own amusement.’

Mrs Yule looked alarmed.

Mrs. Yule looked shocked.

‘Oh, if you really think that, don’t let him come. I wouldn’t for anything.’

'Oh, if you really believe that, then don’t let him come. I wouldn’t want that for anything.'

‘I don’t say it for certain.’ He took a sip of his coffee. ‘I have had no opportunity of observing him with much attention. But he’s not the kind of man I care for.’

‘I can't say for sure.’ He took a sip of his coffee. ‘I haven’t had the chance to really observe him closely. But he’s not the type of guy I’m into.’

‘Then no doubt it’s better as it is.’

‘Then it’s probably better this way.’

‘Yes. I don’t see that anything could be done now. We shall see whether he gets on. I advise you not to mention him to her.’

‘Yes. I don’t think there’s anything that can be done now. We’ll see how he does. I recommend that you don’t bring him up to her.’

‘Oh no, I won’t.’

'Oh no, I won't.'

She moved as if to go away, but her heart had been made uneasy by that short conversation which followed on Marian’s reading the letter, and there were still things she wished to put into words.

She started to walk away, but that brief conversation after Marian read the letter had left her feeling uneasy, and there were still things she wanted to express.

‘If those young ladies go on writing to her, I dare say they’ll often speak about their brother.’

‘If those young women keep writing to her, I bet they’ll often talk about their brother.’

‘Yes, it’s rather unfortunate.’

“Yes, it’s pretty unfortunate.”

‘And you know, Alfred, he may have asked them to do it.’

‘And you know, Alfred, he might have asked them to do it.’

‘I suppose there’s one subject on which all women can be subtle,’ muttered Yule, smiling. The remark was not a kind one, but he did not make it worse by his tone.

‘I guess there’s one topic where all women can be subtle,’ Yule muttered, smiling. The comment wasn’t kind, but he didn’t make it worse with his tone.

The listener failed to understand him, and looked with her familiar expression of mental effort.

The listener didn’t understand him and looked at him with her usual expression of trying hard to think.

‘We can’t help that,’ he added, with reference to her suggestion. ‘If he has any serious thoughts, well, let him go on and wait for opportunities.’

‘We can’t control that,’ he added, referring to her suggestion. ‘If he has any serious thoughts, then let him go ahead and wait for opportunities.’

‘It’s a great pity, isn’t it, that she can’t see more people—of the right kind?’

‘It’s such a shame, isn’t it, that she can’t meet more people—of the right kind?’

‘No use talking about it. Things are as they are. I can’t see that her life is unhappy.’

‘There's no point in discussing it. Things are what they are. I don't see that her life is unhappy.’

‘It isn’t very happy.’

"It’s not very happy."

‘You think not?’

"You don’t think so?"

‘I’m sure it isn’t.’

"I’m sure it isn't."

‘If I get The Study things may be different. Though—But it’s no use talking about what can’t be helped. Now don’t you go encouraging her to think herself lonely, and so on. It’s best for her to keep close to work, I’m sure of that.’

‘If I get The Study, things might be different. But still—there’s no point in discussing what can’t be changed. Now, please don’t encourage her to feel lonely or anything like that. It's better for her to stay focused on her work; I know that for sure.’

‘Perhaps it is.’

"Maybe it is."

‘I’ll think it over.’

"I'll think about it."

Mrs Yule silently left the room, and went back to her sewing.

Mrs. Yule quietly left the room and went back to her sewing.

She had understood that ‘Though—’ and the ‘what can’t be helped.’ Such allusions reminded her of a time unhappier than the present, when she had been wont to hear plainer language. She knew too well that, had she been a woman of education, her daughter would not now be suffering from loneliness.

She understood the ‘Though—’ and the ‘what can’t be helped.’ Those references reminded her of a time that was more miserable than now, when she used to hear things more clearly. She knew all too well that if she had been a more educated woman, her daughter wouldn’t be struggling with loneliness right now.

It was her own choice that she did not go with her husband and Marian to John Yule’s. She made an excuse that the house could not be left to one servant; but in any case she would have remained at home, for her presence must needs be an embarrassment both to father and daughter. Alfred was always ashamed of her before strangers; he could not conceal his feeling, either from her or from other people who had reason for observing him. Marian was not perhaps ashamed, but such companionship put restraint upon her freedom. And would it not always be the same? Supposing Mr Milvain were to come to this house, would it not repel him when he found what sort of person Marian’s mother was?

It was her own decision not to go with her husband and Marian to John Yule’s. She made up an excuse that the house couldn’t be left with just one servant; but in any case, she would have stayed home, as her presence would only embarrass both father and daughter. Alfred was always embarrassed by her in front of strangers; he couldn’t hide how he felt, either from her or from others who noticed him. Marian might not have been ashamed, but having her mother around limited her freedom. And wouldn’t it always be that way? If Mr. Milvain were to come to this house, wouldn’t he be put off when he saw what kind of person Marian’s mother was?

She shed a few tears over her needlework.

She shed a few tears while working on her sewing.

At midnight the study door opened. Yule came to the dining-room to see that all was right, and it surprised him to find his wife still sitting there.

At midnight, the study door opened. Yule went to the dining room to check that everything was okay, and he was surprised to see his wife still sitting there.

‘Why are you so late?’

"Why are you so late?"

‘I’ve forgot the time.’

"I've lost track of time."

‘Forgotten, forgotten. Don’t go back to that kind of language again. Come, put the light out.’

‘Forgotten, forgotten. Don’t use that kind of language again. Come, turn off the light.’





PART TWO





CHAPTER VIII. TO THE WINNING SIDE

Of the acquaintances Yule had retained from his earlier years several were in the well-defined category of men with unpresentable wives. There was Hinks, for instance, whom, though in anger he spoke of him as a bore, Alfred held in some genuine regard. Hinks made perhaps a hundred a year out of a kind of writing which only certain publishers can get rid of and of this income he spent about a third on books. His wife was the daughter of a laundress, in whose house he had lodged thirty years ago, when new to London but already long-acquainted with hunger; they lived in complete harmony, but Mrs Hinks, who was four years the elder, still spoke the laundress tongue, unmitigated and immitigable. Another pair were Mr and Mrs Gorbutt. In this case there were no narrow circumstances to contend with, for the wife, originally a nursemaid, not long after her marriage inherited house property from a relative. Mr Gorbutt deemed himself a poet; since his accession to an income he had published, at his own expense, a yearly volume of verses; the only result being to keep alive rancour in his wife, who was both parsimonious and vain. Making no secret of it, Mrs Gorbutt rued the day on which she had wedded a man of letters, when by waiting so short a time she would have been enabled to aim at a prosperous tradesman, who kept his gig and had everything handsome about him. Mrs Yule suspected, not without reason, that this lady had an inclination to strong liquors. Thirdly came Mr and Mrs Christopherson, who were poor as church mice. Even in a friend’s house they wrangled incessantly, and made tragi-comical revelations of their home life. The husband worked casually at irresponsible journalism, but his chosen study was metaphysics; for many years he had had a huge and profound book on hand, which he believed would bring him fame, though he was not so unsettled in mind as to hope for anything else. When an article or two had earned enough money for immediate necessities he went off to the British Museum, and then the difficulty was to recall him to profitable exertions. Yet husband and wife had an affection for each other. Mrs Christopherson came from Camberwell, where her father, once upon a time, was the smallest of small butchers. Disagreeable stories were whispered concerning her earlier life, and probably the metaphysician did not care to look back in that direction. They had had three children; all were happily buried.

Of the friends Yule had kept from his younger days, several were definitely in the category of men with unpresentable wives. Take Hinks, for example, whom Alfred, despite calling him a bore in anger, actually respected. Hinks made about a hundred a year from a type of writing that only some publishers could unload, and he spent around a third of that income on books. His wife was the daughter of a laundress, and he had stayed in her house thirty years ago when he was new to London and had already experienced hunger; they lived peacefully together, but Mrs. Hinks, who was four years older, still spoke in a strong accent that was impossible to ignore. Another couple was Mr. and Mrs. Gorbutt. In their case, there weren't any financial struggles, since the wife, who had originally been a nursemaid, inherited property from a relative shortly after they got married. Mr. Gorbutt saw himself as a poet; since he came into some money, he had been publishing a yearly volume of poems at his own expense, which only served to fuel his wife's bitterness, as she was both miserly and vain. Mrs. Gorbutt openly regretted marrying a man of letters, believing that if she had waited just a little longer, she could have landed a successful tradesman who owned a carriage and had everything going for him. Mrs. Yule suspected, not without reason, that this woman had a liking for strong drinks. Then there were Mr. and Mrs. Christopherson, who were as broke as church mice. Even in a friend's home, they argued constantly, revealing comedic and tragic details about their domestic life. The husband did odd jobs in irresponsible journalism, but his real interest was in metaphysics; he had been working on a massive and profound book for years, convinced it would bring him fame, though he wasn’t deluded enough to expect much else. Once he earned enough from an article or two to cover immediate needs, he would head to the British Museum, and the challenge was getting him back to do something that paid. Still, despite everything, they shared genuine affection for one another. Mrs. Christopherson came from Camberwell, where her father had once been the smallest of small butchers. Unpleasant rumors circulated about her past, and it seemed the metaphysician preferred not to think about it. They had three children; all of them were sadly deceased.

These men were capable of better things than they had done or would ever do; in each case their failure to fulfil youthful promise was largely explained by the unpresentable wife. They should have waited; they might have married a social equal at something between fifty and sixty.

These men were capable of better things than what they had done or would ever do; in each case, their inability to live up to their youthful potential was mostly due to their unappealing wives. They should have waited; they could have married someone of their social standing when they were in their fifties or sixties.

Another old friend was Mr Quarmby. Unwedded he, and perpetually exultant over men who, as he phrased it, had noosed themselves. He made a fair living, but, like Dr Johnson, had no passion for clean linen.

Another old friend was Mr. Quarmby. He was unmarried and always delighted about men who, as he put it, had tied themselves down. He made a decent living, but, like Dr. Johnson, had no interest in neat clothes.

Yule was not disdainful of these old companions, and the fact that all had a habit of looking up to him increased his pleasure in their occasional society. If, as happened once or twice in half a year, several of them were gathered together at his house, he tasted a sham kind of social and intellectual authority which he could not help relishing. On such occasions he threw off his habitual gloom and talked vigorously, making natural display of his learning and critical ability. The topic, sooner or later, was that which is inevitable in such a circle—the demerits, the pretentiousness, the personal weaknesses of prominent contemporaries in the world of letters. Then did the room ring with scornful laughter, with boisterous satire, with shouted irony, with fierce invective. After an evening of that kind Yule was unwell and miserable for several days.

Yule didn't look down on his old friends, and the fact that they all admired him made him enjoy their occasional company even more. When, as happened once or twice in six months, a group of them came together at his place, he experienced a fake sense of social and intellectual authority that he couldn’t help but enjoy. During these times, he shed his usual gloom and spoke passionately, showcasing his knowledge and critical skills. Eventually, the conversation turned to the inevitable topic in such groups—the flaws, pretentiousness, and personal weaknesses of well-known figures in the literary world. The room would then be filled with mocking laughter, loud satire, biting irony, and fierce criticism. After an evening like that, Yule would feel unwell and down for several days.

It was not to be expected that Mr Quarmby, inveterate chatterbox of the Reading-room and other resorts, should keep silence concerning what he had heard of Mr Rackett’s intentions. The rumour soon spread that Alfred Yule was to succeed Fadge in the direction of The Study, with the necessary consequence that Yule found himself an object of affectionate interest to a great many people of whom he knew little or nothing. At the same time the genuine old friends pressed warmly about him, with congratulations, with hints of their sincere readiness to assist in filling the columns of the paper. All this was not disagreeable, but in the meantime Yule had heard nothing whatever from Mr Rackett himself and his doubts did not diminish as week after week went by.

It wasn't surprising that Mr. Quarmby, a notorious gossip in the Reading Room and other hangouts, wouldn't keep quiet about what he had heard regarding Mr. Rackett’s plans. The rumor quickly spread that Alfred Yule was set to take over from Fadge as the head of The Study, which naturally led to Yule becoming the focus of affection from many people he barely knew. Meanwhile, his true friends crowded around him, offering warm congratulations and hints about their willingness to help fill the pages of the paper. Although this attention was nice, Yule still hadn't heard anything directly from Mr. Rackett, and his doubts only grew as the weeks went by.

The event justified him. At the end of October appeared an authoritative announcement that Fadge’s successor would be—not Alfred Yule, but a gentleman who till of late had been quietly working as a sub-editor in the provinces, and who had neither friendships nor enmities among the people of the London literary press. A young man, comparatively fresh from the university, and said to be strong in pure scholarship. The choice, as you are aware, proved a good one, and The Study became an organ of more repute than ever.

The event cleared his name. At the end of October, an official announcement revealed that Fadge’s successor would be—not Alfred Yule, but a guy who had recently been working quietly as a sub-editor in the provinces, without any connections or rivalries in the London literary press. A young man, relatively new from university, and believed to be strong in pure scholarship. As you know, the choice turned out to be a great one, and The Study became more respected than ever.

Yule had been secretly conscious that it was not to men such as he that positions of this kind are nowadays entrusted. He tried to persuade himself that he was not disappointed. But when Mr Quarmby approached him with blank face, he spoke certain wrathful words which long rankled in that worthy’s mind. At home he kept sullen silence.

Yule had been aware that people like him aren't typically given positions like this anymore. He tried to convince himself that he wasn't let down. But when Mr. Quarmby came up to him with a blank expression, Yule said some angry words that stayed with Mr. Quarmby for a long time. At home, he remained quiet and moody.

No, not to such men as he—poor, and without social recommendations. Besides, he was growing too old. In literature, as in most other pursuits, the press of energetic young men was making it very hard for a veteran even to hold the little grazing-plot he had won by hard fighting. Still, Quarmby’s story had not been without foundation; it was true that the proprietor of The Study had for a moment thought of Alfred Yule, doubtless as the natural contrast to Clement Fadge, whom he would have liked to mortify if the thing were possible. But counsellors had proved to Mr Rackett the disadvantages of such a choice.

No, not for men like him—broke, and without social connections. Besides, he was getting too old. In literature, like in most other fields, the influx of ambitious young people was making it really tough for a veteran to even keep the small piece of ground he had earned through hard work. Still, Quarmby’s story wasn't completely unfounded; it was true that the owner of The Study had briefly considered Alfred Yule, likely as the perfect opposite to Clement Fadge, whom he would have loved to humiliate if he could. But advisors had made Mr. Rackett aware of the drawbacks of such a choice.

Mrs Yule and her daughter foresaw but too well the results of this disappointment, notwithstanding that Alfred announced it to them with dry indifference. The month that followed was a time of misery for all in the house. Day after day Yule sat at his meals in sullen muteness; to his wife he scarcely spoke at all, and his conversation with Marian did not go beyond necessary questions and remarks on topics of business. His face became so strange a colour that one would have thought him suffering from an attack of jaundice; bilious headaches exasperated his savage mood. Mrs Yule knew from long experience how worse than useless it was for her to attempt consolation; in silence was her only safety. Nor did Marian venture to speak directly of what had happened. But one evening, when she had been engaged in the study and was now saying ‘Good-night,’ she laid her cheek against her father’s, an unwonted caress which had a strange effect upon him. The expression of sympathy caused his thoughts to reveal themselves as they never yet had done before his daughter.

Mrs. Yule and her daughter easily predicted the consequences of this disappointment, even though Alfred shared the news with a dry indifference. The month that followed was filled with misery for everyone in the house. Day after day, Yule sat through meals in grim silence; he hardly spoke to his wife at all, and his conversations with Marian were limited to necessary questions and business-related remarks. His face took on such a strange color that you would have thought he was suffering from jaundice; bilious headaches only intensified his angry mood. Mrs. Yule knew from long experience that trying to comfort him was more harmful than helpful, so she remained silent for her own safety. Marian also refrained from directly mentioning what had happened. But one evening, as she was about to say “Good-night” after being in the study, she pressed her cheek against her father’s, an unusual gesture that surprisingly affected him. The show of sympathy prompted him to reveal thoughts he had never shared with her before.

‘It might have been very different with me,’ he exclaimed abruptly, as if they had already been conversing on the subject. ‘When you think of my failures—and you must often do so now you are grown up and understand things—don’t forget the obstacles that have been in my way. I don’t like you to look upon your father as a thickhead who couldn’t be expected to succeed. Look at Fadge. He married a woman of good social position; she brought him friends and influence. But for that he would never have been editor of The Study, a place for which he wasn’t in the least fit. But he was able to give dinners; he and his wife went into society; everybody knew him and talked of him. How has it been with me? I live here like an animal in its hole, and go blinking about if by chance I find myself among the people with whom I ought naturally to associate. If I had been able to come in direct contact with Rackett and other men of that kind, to dine with them, and have them to dine with me, to belong to a club, and so on, I shouldn’t be what I am at my age. My one opportunity—when I edited The Balance—wasn’t worth much; there was no money behind the paper; we couldn’t hold out long enough. But even then, if I could have assumed my proper social standing, if I could have opened my house freely to the right kind of people—How was it possible?’

"It could have turned out very differently for me," he said suddenly, as if they were already deep in conversation about it. "When you think about my failures—and you probably do now that you're grown up and understand things—don't forget the obstacles that have stood in my way. I don't want you to see your father as a fool who was never meant to succeed. Look at Fadge. He married a woman with a good social standing; she brought him friends and influence. Without that, he would never have become the editor of The Study, a job he wasn't at all suited for. But he could host dinners; he and his wife mingled in society; everyone knew him and talked about him. What about me? I live here like an animal in a burrow, barely interacting with the people I should naturally connect with. If I had been able to engage directly with Rackett and other men like him, to have dinner with them and host them in return, to be part of a club, I wouldn't be in this position at my age. My only chance—when I edited The Balance—didn't mean much because there was no funding behind the paper; we couldn't last long enough. Even then, if I could have claimed my proper social status, if I could have opened my home to the right kind of people—how was that even possible?"

Marian could not raise her head. She recognised the portion of truth in what he said, but it shocked her that he should allow himself to speak thus. Her silence seemed to remind him how painful it must be to her to hear these accusations of her mother, and with a sudden ‘Good-night’ he dismissed her.

Marian couldn't lift her head. She saw the truth in what he said, but it surprised her that he would speak to her like that. Her silence seemed to jog his memory about how painful it must be for her to hear these accusations about her mother, and with a quick, “Good night,” he sent her away.

She went up to her room, and wept over the wretchedness of all their lives. Her loneliness had seemed harder to bear than ever since that last holiday. For a moment, in the lanes about Finden, there had come to her a vision of joy such as fate owed her youth; but it had faded, and she could no longer hope for its return. She was not a woman, but a mere machine for reading and writing. Did her father never think of this? He was not the only one to suffer from the circumstances in which poverty had involved him.

She went up to her room and cried over how miserable their lives were. Her loneliness felt more unbearable than ever since that last holiday. For a brief moment, while walking in the lanes around Finden, she had a glimpse of the happiness that fate owed her youth; but it faded away, and she no longer believed it would come back. She wasn’t a woman anymore; she was just a machine for reading and writing. Didn’t her father ever think about this? He wasn’t the only one affected by the circumstances that poverty had brought upon him.

She had no friends to whom she could utter her thoughts. Dora Milvain had written a second time, and more recently had come a letter from Maud; but in replying to them she could not give a true account of herself. Impossible, to them. From what she wrote they would imagine her contentedly busy, absorbed in the affairs of literature. To no one could she make known the aching sadness of her heart, the dreariness of life as it lay before her.

She had no friends to share her thoughts with. Dora Milvain had written to her again, and more recently she received a letter from Maud; but when replying, she couldn't honestly reveal what she was feeling. It seemed impossible to do so. From her responses, they would think she was happily busy, totally caught up in the world of literature. She couldn't show anyone the deep sadness in her heart or the bleakness of the life that stretched ahead of her.

That beginning of half-confidence between her and her mother had led to nothing. Mrs Yule found no second opportunity of speaking to her husband about Jasper Milvain, and purposely she refrained from any further hint or question to Marian. Everything must go on as hitherto.

That initial sense of uncertainty between her and her mother had led to nothing. Mrs. Yule didn't get another chance to talk to her husband about Jasper Milvain, and intentionally, she avoided bringing it up again or asking Marian any more questions. Everything had to continue as it was before.

The days darkened. Through November rains and fogs Marian went her usual way to the Museum, and toiled there among the other toilers. Perhaps once a week she allowed herself to stray about the alleys of the Reading-room, scanning furtively those who sat at the desks, but the face she might perchance have discovered was not there.

The days grew darker. Through the November rain and fog, Marian went about her usual routine to the Museum and worked alongside the other employees. Maybe once a week, she let herself wander through the halls of the Reading Room, discreetly observing those at the desks, but the face she might have hoped to find was absent.

One day at the end of the month she sat with books open before her, but by no effort could fix her attention upon them. It was gloomy, and one could scarcely see to read; a taste of fog grew perceptible in the warm, headachy air. Such profound discouragement possessed her that she could not even maintain the pretence of study; heedless whether anyone observed her, she let her hands fall and her head droop. She kept asking herself what was the use and purpose of such a life as she was condemned to lead. When already there was more good literature in the world than any mortal could cope with in his lifetime, here was she exhausting herself in the manufacture of printed stuff which no one even pretended to be more than a commodity for the day’s market. What unspeakable folly! To write—was not that the joy and the privilege of one who had an urgent message for the world?

One day at the end of the month, she sat with books open in front of her, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't focus on them. It was gloomy, and it was hard to see to read; a hint of fog crept into the warm, stuffy air. She felt such deep discouragement that she couldn't even pretend to study; not caring if anyone was watching her, she let her hands drop and her head sag. She kept wondering what the point and purpose of the life she was stuck living was. With more good literature in the world than anyone could ever read in a lifetime, here she was, wearing herself out creating printed materials that nobody even acted like were anything more than a commodity for the daily market. What utter madness! To write—wasn't that the joy and privilege of someone who had an important message for the world?

Her father, she knew well, had no such message; he had abandoned all thought of original production, and only wrote about writing.

Her father, she knew well, had no such message; he had given up on creating anything original and only wrote about writing.

She herself would throw away her pen with joy but for the need of earning money. And all these people about her, what aim had they save to make new books out of those already existing, that yet newer books might in turn be made out of theirs? This huge library, growing into unwieldiness, threatening to become a trackless desert of print—how intolerably it weighed upon the spirit!

She would happily throw away her pen if it weren't for needing to make money. And all these people around her, what purpose did they have except to create new books from those that already exist, so that even newer books could be made from theirs? This massive library, becoming too big to manage, threatening to turn into a barren wasteland of print—how unbearably it weighed on her soul!

Oh, to go forth and labour with one’s hands, to do any poorest, commonest work of which the world had truly need! It was ignoble to sit here and support the paltry pretence of intellectual dignity. A few days ago her startled eye had caught an advertisement in the newspaper, headed ‘Literary Machine’; had it then been invented at last, some automaton to supply the place of such poor creatures as herself to turn out books and articles? Alas! the machine was only one for holding volumes conveniently, that the work of literary manufacture might be physically lightened. But surely before long some Edison would make the true automaton; the problem must be comparatively such a simple one. Only to throw in a given number of old books, and have them reduced, blended, modernised into a single one for to-day’s consumption.

Oh, to go out and work with my hands, to do the simplest, most necessary tasks that the world really needs! It felt beneath me to just sit here and pretend to have intellectual dignity. A few days ago, her surprised gaze had caught an ad in the newspaper titled ‘Literary Machine’; had it finally been invented, some robot to take the place of people like her to produce books and articles? Unfortunately, the machine was just a tool to hold books conveniently, making literary work physically easier. But surely soon some inventor would create the real automaton; the problem must be relatively simple. Just toss in a number of old books and have them condensed, blended, and modernized into one for today’s readers.

The fog grew thicker; she looked up at the windows beneath the dome and saw that they were a dusky yellow. Then her eye discerned an official walking along the upper gallery, and in pursuance of her grotesque humour, her mocking misery, she likened him to a black, lost soul, doomed to wander in an eternity of vain research along endless shelves. Or again, the readers who sat here at these radiating lines of desks, what were they but hapless flies caught in a huge web, its nucleus the great circle of the Catalogue? Darker, darker. From the towering wall of volumes seemed to emanate visible motes, intensifying the obscurity; in a moment the book-lined circumference of the room would be but a featureless prison-limit.

The fog thickened; she looked up at the windows under the dome and saw they were a dull yellow. Then she noticed an official walking along the upper gallery, and, playing into her bizarre sense of humor and her sarcastic sadness, she compared him to a black, lost soul, doomed to wander in an endless search along infinite shelves. And the readers sitting at those radiating desks—what were they but helpless flies trapped in a massive web, its center the large circle of the Catalogue? Darker, darker. From the towering wall of books, visible dust motes seemed to fill the air, deepening the gloom; soon the book-lined walls of the room would just be a featureless prison boundary.

But then flashed forth the sputtering whiteness of the electric light, and its ceaseless hum was henceforth a new source of headache. It reminded her how little work she had done to-day; she must, she must force herself to think of the task in hand. A machine has no business to refuse its duty. But the pages were blue and green and yellow before her eyes; the uncertainty of the light was intolerable. Right or wrong she would go home, and hide herself, and let her heart unburden itself of tears.

But then the flickering brightness of the electric light erupted, and its constant buzzing became a new source of headache. It made her realize how little work she had accomplished today; she must, she must push herself to focus on the task at hand. A machine has no right to refuse its responsibilities. But the pages were blue and green and yellow before her eyes; the flickering light was unbearable. Right or wrong, she would go home, hide herself, and let her heart release its tears.

On her way to return books she encountered Jasper Milvain. Face to face; no possibility of his avoiding her.

On her way to return some books, she ran into Jasper Milvain. They were face to face; there was no way for him to avoid her.

And indeed he seemed to have no such wish. His countenance lighted up with unmistakable pleasure.

And he really didn’t seem to have that wish at all. His face lit up with clear joy.

‘At last we meet, as they say in the melodramas. Oh, do let me help you with those volumes, which won’t even let you shake hands. How do you do? How do you like this weather? And how do you like this light?’

‘At last we meet, as they say in the melodramas. Oh, let me help you with those books, which are making it hard for you to shake hands. How are you? How do you like this weather? And what do you think of this light?’

‘It’s very bad.’

"It's really bad."

‘That’ll do both for weather and light, but not for yourself. How glad I am to see you! Are you just going?’

‘That’ll work for both the weather and the light, but not for you. I'm so glad to see you! Are you on your way out?’

‘Yes.’

'Absolutely.'

‘I have scarcely been here half-a-dozen times since I came back to London.’

‘I have barely been here half a dozen times since I got back to London.’

‘But you are writing still?’

‘But you're still writing?’

‘Oh yes! But I draw upon my genius, and my stores of observation, and the living world.’

‘Oh yes! But I tap into my creativity, my observations, and the world around me.’

Marian received her vouchers for the volumes, and turned to face Jasper again. There was a smile on her lips.

Marian got her vouchers for the books and turned to face Jasper again. She had a smile on her lips.

‘The fog is terrible,’ Milvain went on. ‘How do you get home?’

‘The fog is awful,’ Milvain continued. ‘How do you get home?’

‘By omnibus from Tottenham Court Road.’

‘By bus from Tottenham Court Road.’

‘Then do let me go a part of the way with you. I live in Mornington Road—up yonder, you know. I have only just come in to waste half an hour, and after all I think I should be better at home. Your father is all right, I hope?’

‘Then please let me walk part of the way with you. I live on Mornington Road—up there, you know. I just came in to kill half an hour, and I think I’d be better off at home. Your dad is okay, I hope?’

‘He is not quite well.’

'He's not feeling well.'

‘I’m sorry to hear that. You are not exactly up to the mark, either. What weather! What a place to live in, this London, in winter! It would be a little better down at Finden.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that. You’re not doing too well yourself, either. What a crazy weather! What a place to live, this London, in the winter! It would be a bit better down at Finden.’

‘A good deal better, I should think. If the weather were bad, it would be bad in a natural way; but this is artificial misery.’

‘A lot better, I would say. If the weather were bad, it would be bad in a natural way; but this is fake misery.’

‘I don’t let it affect me much,’ said Milvain. ‘Just of late I have been in remarkably good spirits. I’m doing a lot of work. No end of work—more than I’ve ever done.’

‘I don’t let it get to me much,’ Milvain said. ‘Lately, I’ve been feeling really good. I’m working a lot. Endless work—more than I’ve ever done.’

‘I am very glad.’

"I’m really happy."

‘Where are your out-of-door things? I think there’s a ladies’ vestry somewhere, isn’t there?’

‘Where are your outdoor things? I think there’s a ladies’ room somewhere, right?’

‘Oh yes.’

'Of course.'

‘Then will you go and get ready? I’ll wait for you in the hall. But, by-the-bye, I am taking it for granted that you were going alone.’

‘So, are you going to get ready now? I’ll wait for you in the hall. Just so you know, I assume you were going by yourself.’

‘I was, quite alone.’

"I was completely alone."

The ‘quite’ seemed excessive; it made Jasper smile.

The "quite" felt over the top; it made Jasper smile.

‘And also,’ he added, ‘that I shall not annoy you by offering my company?’

‘And also,’ he added, ‘that I won’t bother you by trying to keep you company?’

‘Why should it annoy me?’

"Why should that bother me?"

‘Good!’

‘Awesome!’

Milvain had only to wait a minute or two. He surveyed Marian from head to foot when she appeared—an impertinence as unintentional as that occasionally noticeable in his speech—and smiled approval. They went out into the fog, which was not one of London’s densest, but made walking disagreeable enough.

Milvain only had to wait a minute or two. He looked Marian up and down when she showed up—an unintentional rudeness similar to what sometimes slipped into his speech—and smiled in approval. They stepped out into the fog, which wasn’t among the thickest that London had to offer, but was unpleasant enough for walking.

‘You have heard from the girls, I think?’ Jasper resumed.

‘You’ve heard from the girls, right?’ Jasper continued.

‘Your sisters? Yes; they have been so kind as to write to me.’

‘Your sisters? Yes; they’ve been so nice to write to me.’

‘Told you all about their great work? I hope it’ll be finished by the end of the year. The bits they have sent me will do very well indeed. I knew they had it in them to put sentences together. Now I want them to think of patching up something or other for The English Girl; you know the paper?’

‘Told you all about their great work? I hope it’ll be wrapped up by the end of the year. The pieces they’ve sent me are really good. I always knew they could write well. Now I want them to think about putting together something for The English Girl; you know the publication?’

‘I have heard of it.’

"I've heard of it."

‘I happen to know Mrs Boston Wright, who edits it. Met her at a house the other day, and told her frankly that she would have to give my sisters something to do. It’s the only way to get on; one has to take it for granted that people are willing to help you. I have made a host of new acquaintances just lately.’

‘I happen to know Mrs. Boston Wright, who edits it. I ran into her at a gathering the other day and told her directly that she needs to give my sisters something to do. It’s the only way to succeed; you have to assume that people are willing to support you. I’ve made a ton of new acquaintances recently.’

‘I’m glad to hear it,’ said Marian.

‘I’m glad to hear that,’ Marian said.

‘Do you know—but how should you? I am going to write for the new magazine, The Current.’

‘Do you know—but how would you? I’m going to write for the new magazine, The Current.’

‘Indeed!’

"Absolutely!"

‘Edited by that man Fadge.’

‘Edited by that guy Fadge.’

‘Yes.’

'Yes.'

‘Your father has no affection for him, I know.’

‘Your father doesn’t have any feelings for him, I know.’

‘He has no reason to have, Mr Milvain.’

‘He has no reason to have that, Mr. Milvain.’

‘No, no. Fadge is an offensive fellow, when he likes; and I fancy he very often does like. Well, I must make what use of him I can.

‘No, no. Fadge can be really unpleasant when he wants to be, and I get the feeling he often wants to be. Well, I'll have to make the most of him while I can.

You won’t think worse of me because I write for him?’

You won't think any less of me for writing for him, will you?

‘I know that one can’t exercise choice in such things.’

'I know that you can't really choose in situations like this.'

‘True. I shouldn’t like to think that you regard me as a Fadge-like individual, a natural Fadgeite.’

‘True. I wouldn’t want to think that you see me as a Fadge-like person, a natural Fadgeite.’

Marian laughed.

Marian giggled.

‘There’s no danger of my thinking that.’

‘There’s no chance I’d think that.’

But the fog was making their eyes water and getting into their throats. By when they reached Tottenham Court Road they were both thoroughly uncomfortable. The ‘bus had to be waited for, and in the meantime they talked scrappily, coughily. In the vehicle things were a little better, but here one could not converse with freedom.

But the fog was making their eyes water and getting into their throats. By the time they reached Tottenham Court Road, they were both really uncomfortable. They had to wait for the bus, and in the meantime, they talked in a fragmented, cough-filled way. Once they got on the bus, things were a bit better, but they still couldn’t talk freely.

‘What pestilent conditions of life!’ exclaimed Jasper, putting his face rather near to Marian’s. ‘I wish to goodness we were back in those quiet fields—you remember?—with the September sun warm about us. Shall you go to Finden again before long?’

‘What terrible conditions we’re living in!’ exclaimed Jasper, leaning his face closer to Marian’s. ‘I wish we were back in those peaceful fields—you remember?—with the warm September sun surrounding us. Are you planning to go to Finden again soon?’

‘I really don’t know.’

"I have no idea."

‘I’m sorry to say my mother is far from well. In any case I must go at Christmas, but I’m afraid it won’t be a cheerful visit.’

‘I’m sorry to say my mother is not doing well. Either way, I have to go at Christmas, but I’m afraid it won’t be a happy visit.’

Arrived in Hampstead Road he offered his hand for good-bye.

Arrived at Hampstead Road, he extended his hand to say goodbye.

‘I wanted to talk about all sorts of things. But perhaps I shall find you again some day.’

‘I wanted to talk about all kinds of things. But maybe I'll find you again one day.’

He jumped out, and waved his hat in the lurid fog.

He jumped out and waved his hat in the bright fog.

Shortly before the end of December appeared the first number of The Current. Yule had once or twice referred to the forthcoming magazine with acrid contempt, and of course he did not purchase a copy.

Shortly before the end of December, the first issue of The Current was released. Yule had mentioned the upcoming magazine a couple of times with harsh disdain, so he definitely didn't buy a copy.

‘So young Milvain has joined Fadge’s hopeful standard,’ he remarked, a day or two later, at breakfast. ‘They say his paper is remarkably clever; I could wish it had appeared anywhere else.

‘So young Milvain has joined Fadge’s hopeful banner,’ he said a day or two later at breakfast. ‘They say his paper is really smart; I just wish it had come out somewhere else.’

Evil communications, &c.’

Harmful communication, etc.

‘But I shouldn’t think there’s any personal connection,’ said Marian.

‘But I don't think there's any personal connection,’ said Marian.

‘Very likely not. But Milvain has been invited to contribute, you see.

‘Probably not. But Milvain has been asked to contribute, you see.

‘Do you think he ought to have refused?’

‘Do you think he should have said no?’

‘Oh no. It’s nothing to me; nothing whatever.’

‘Oh no. It doesn’t mean anything to me; not at all.’

Mrs Yule glanced at her daughter, but Marian seemed unconcerned. The subject was dismissed. In introducing it Yule had had his purpose; there had always been an unnatural avoidance of Milvain’s name in conversation, and he wished to have an end of this. Hitherto he had felt a troublesome uncertainty regarding his position in the matter. From what his wife had told him it seemed pretty certain that Marian was disappointed by the abrupt closing of her brief acquaintance with the young man, and Yule’s affection for his daughter caused him to feel uneasy in the thought that perhaps he had deprived her of a chance of happiness. His conscience readily took hold of an excuse for justifying the course he had followed. Milvain had gone over to the enemy. Whether or not the young man understood how relentless the hostility was between Yule and Fadge mattered little; the probability was that he knew all about it. In any case intimate relations with him could not have survived this alliance with Fadge, so that, after all, there had been wisdom in letting the acquaintance lapse. To be sure, nothing could have come of it. Milvain was the kind of man who weighed opportunities; every step he took would be regulated by considerations of advantage; at all events that was the impression his character had made upon Yule. Any hopes that Marian might have been induced to form would assuredly have ended in disappointment. It was kindness to interpose before things had gone so far.

Mrs. Yule glanced at her daughter, but Marian seemed unfazed. The topic was dropped. Yule had a purpose in bringing it up; there had always been an odd avoidance of Milvain's name in conversation, and he wanted to put an end to that. Until now, he had felt a nagging uncertainty about his role in the situation. From what his wife had told him, it seemed pretty clear that Marian was disappointed by the sudden end of her brief acquaintance with the young man, and Yule’s love for his daughter made him uneasy at the thought that he might have denied her a chance at happiness. His conscience easily found a way to justify his actions. Milvain had allied himself with the enemy. Whether or not the young man understood the deep animosity between Yule and Fadge was irrelevant; he likely knew all about it. In any case, any close relationship with him couldn’t have survived this alliance with Fadge, so in retrospect, it was wise to let the acquaintance fade. Of course, nothing would have come of it. Milvain was the kind of man who carefully considered opportunities; every move he made would be based on self-interest; at least that was the impression Yule had of him. Any hopes Marian might have had would definitely have led to disappointment. It was considerate to step in before things went too far.

Henceforth, if Milvain’s name was unavoidable, it should be mentioned just like that of any other literary man. It seemed very unlikely indeed that Marian would continue to think of him with any special and personal interest. The fact of her having got into correspondence with his sisters was unfortunate, but this kind of thing rarely went on for very long.

From now on, if Milvain’s name came up, it should be mentioned just like any other writer. It seemed pretty unlikely that Marian would keep thinking of him with any special or personal interest. The fact that she started communicating with his sisters was unfortunate, but these kinds of things usually didn’t last very long.

Yule spoke of the matter with his wife that evening.

Yule talked about the issue with his wife that evening.

‘By-the-bye, has Marian heard from those girls at Finden lately?’

‘By the way, has Marian heard from those girls at Finden recently?’

‘She had a letter one afternoon last week.’

‘She got a letter one afternoon last week.’

‘Do you see these letters?’

‘Do you see these letters?’

‘No; she told me what was in them at first, but now she doesn’t.’

‘No; she told me what was in them at first, but now she doesn't.’

‘She hasn’t spoken to you again of Milvain?’

‘She hasn’t brought up Milvain with you again?’

‘Not a word.’

‘No comment.’

‘Well, I understood what I was about,’ Yule remarked, with the confident air of one who doesn’t wish to remember that he had ever felt doubtful. ‘There was no good in having the fellow here.

‘Well, I knew what I was doing,’ Yule said, with the confident demeanor of someone who wants to forget that they ever felt uncertain. ‘It wasn’t worth having him here.’

He has got in with a set that I don’t at all care for. If she ever says anything—you understand—you can just let me know.’

He’s gotten involved with a group that I really don’t like. If she ever says anything—you know what I mean—you can just let me know.

Marian had already procured a copy of The Current, and read it privately. Of the cleverness of Milvain’s contribution there could be no two opinions; it drew the attention of the public, and all notices of the new magazine made special reference to this article. With keen interest Marian sought after comments of the press; when it was possible she cut them out and put them carefully away.

Marian had already gotten a copy of The Current and read it in private. There was no doubt about the cleverness of Milvain’s piece; it grabbed the public's attention, and all reviews of the new magazine specifically mentioned this article. With great interest, Marian looked for press comments; whenever she could, she cut them out and stored them carefully.

January passed, and February. She saw nothing of Jasper. A letter from Dora in the first week of March made announcement that the ‘Child’s History of the English Parliament’ would be published very shortly; it told her, too, that Mrs Milvain had been very ill indeed, but that she seemed to recover a little strength as the weather improved. Of Jasper there was no mention.

January went by, and so did February. She heard nothing from Jasper. A letter from Dora in the first week of March announced that the 'Child’s History of the English Parliament' would be published very soon; it also mentioned that Mrs. Milvain had been quite ill, but she seemed to regain some strength as the weather got better. There was no mention of Jasper.

A week later came the news that Mrs Milvain had suddenly died.

A week later, the news broke that Mrs. Milvain had passed away unexpectedly.

This letter was received at breakfast-time. The envelope was an ordinary one, and so little did Marian anticipate the nature of its contents that at the first sight of the words she uttered an exclamation of pain. Her father, who had turned from the table to the fireside with his newspaper, looked round and asked what was the matter.

This letter arrived during breakfast. The envelope was just plain, and Marian was so unprepared for what it contained that she gasped in pain at first glance. Her father, who had turned from the table to the fireplace with his newspaper, looked over and asked what was wrong.

‘Mrs Milvain died the day before yesterday.’

‘Mrs. Milvain passed away the day before yesterday.’

‘Indeed!’

'Absolutely!'

He averted his face again and seemed disposed to say no more. But in a few moments he inquired:

He turned his face away again and seemed unwilling to say anything more. But after a few moments, he asked:

‘What are her daughters likely to do?’

‘What are her daughters probably going to do?’

‘I have no idea.’

"I have no clue."

‘Do you know anything of their circumstances?’

‘Do you know anything about their situation?’

‘I believe they will have to depend upon themselves.’

‘I believe they will need to rely on themselves.’

Nothing more was said. Afterwards Mrs Yule made a few sympathetic inquiries, but Marian was very brief in her replies.

Nothing more was said. Later, Mrs. Yule asked a few sympathetic questions, but Marian kept her answers very short.

Ten days after that, on a Sunday afternoon when Marian and her mother were alone in the sitting-room, they heard the knock of a visitor at the front door. Yule was out, and there was no likelihood of the visitor’s wishing to see anyone but him. They listened; the servant went to the door, and, after a murmur of voices, came to speak to her mistress.

Ten days later, on a Sunday afternoon when Marian and her mother were alone in the living room, they heard a knock at the front door announcing a visitor. Yule was out, and it seemed unlikely the visitor wanted to see anyone else. They listened as the servant went to the door, and after a brief exchange of voices, returned to talk to her mistress.

‘It’s a gentleman called Mr Milvain,’ the girl reported, in a way that proved how seldom callers presented themselves. ‘He asked for Mr Yule, and when I said he was out, then he asked for Miss Yule.’ Mother and daughter looked anxiously at each other. Mrs Yule was nervous and helpless.

‘There’s a guy named Mr. Milvain here,’ the girl said, showing how rarely they had visitors. ‘He asked for Mr. Yule, and when I told him he was out, he then asked for Miss Yule.’ Mother and daughter exchanged worried glances. Mrs. Yule felt anxious and powerless.

‘Show Mr Milvain into the study,’ said Marian, with sudden decision.

‘Show Mr. Milvain into the study,’ Marian said, making a quick decision.

‘Are you going to see him there?’ asked her mother in a hurried whisper.

‘Are you going to see him there?’ her mother asked in a hurried whisper.

‘I thought you would prefer that to his coming in here.’

‘I thought you would rather have that than him coming in here.’

‘Yes—yes. But suppose father comes back before he’s gone?’

‘Yes—yes. But what if dad comes back before he leaves?’

‘What will it matter? You forget that he asked for father first.’

'What does it matter? You forget that he asked for his father first.'

‘Oh yes! Then don’t wait.’

"Oh yes! Then don’t wait."

Marian, scarcely less agitated than her mother, was just leaving the room, when she turned back again.

Marian, hardly less upset than her mother, was about to leave the room when she turned back again.

‘If father comes in, you will tell him before he goes into the study?’

‘If Dad comes in, you’ll let him know before he goes into the study?’

‘Yes, I will.’

"Yep, I will."

The fire in the study was on the point of extinction; this was the first thing Marian’s eye perceived on entering, and it gave her assurance that her father would not be back for some hours. Evidently he had intended it to go out; small economies of this kind, unintelligible to people who have always lived at ease, had been the life-long rule with him. With a sensation of gladness at having free time before her, Marian turned to where Milvain was standing, in front of one of the bookcases. He wore no symbol of mourning, but his countenance was far graver than usual, and rather paler. They shook hands in silence.

The fire in the study was almost out; this was the first thing Marian noticed when she walked in, and it reassured her that her father wouldn’t be back for a while. He clearly meant for it to die down; these little savings, incomprehensible to those who have always lived comfortably, had been his lifelong habit. Feeling happy about having some free time ahead of her, Marian turned to where Milvain was standing in front of one of the bookcases. He wasn’t wearing any mourning attire, but his expression was much more serious than usual and a bit paler. They shook hands silently.

‘I am so grieved—’ Marian began with broken voice.

‘I am so upset—’ Marian started with a shaky voice.

‘Thank you. I know the girls have told you all about it. We knew for the last month that it must come before long, though there was a deceptive improvement just before the end.’

‘Thank you. I know the girls have shared everything with you. We knew for the last month that it was bound to happen soon, even though there was a misleading improvement right before the end.’

‘Please to sit down, Mr Milvain. Father went out not long ago, and I don’t think he will be back very soon.’

‘Please sit down, Mr. Milvain. Father left not long ago, and I don’t think he’ll be back anytime soon.’

‘It was not really Mr Yule I wished to see,’ said Jasper, frankly. ‘If he had been at home I should have spoken with him about what I have in mind, but if you will kindly give me a few minutes it will be much better.’

‘It wasn’t really Mr. Yule I wanted to see,’ Jasper said honestly. ‘If he had been home, I would have talked to him about what I’m planning, but if you could give me a few minutes, that would be much better.’

Marian glanced at the expiring fire. Her curiosity as to what Milvain had to say was mingled with an anxious doubt whether it was not too late to put on fresh coals; already the room was growing very chill, and this appearance of inhospitality troubled her.

Marian looked at the dying fire. Her curiosity about what Milvain had to say was mixed with worry about whether it was too late to add fresh coals; the room was already getting quite cold, and this feeling of unwelcomeness distressed her.

‘Do you wish to save it?’ Jasper asked, understanding her look and movement.

“Do you want to save it?” Jasper asked, understanding her expression and gesture.

‘I’m afraid it has got too low.’

‘I’m afraid it’s gone too low.’

‘I think not. Life in lodgings has made me skilful at this kind of thing; let me try my hand.’

‘I don't think so. Living in rented places has made me good at this kind of thing; let me give it a shot.’

He took the tongs and carefully disposed small pieces of coal upon the glow that remained. Marian stood apart with a feeling of shame and annoyance. But it is so seldom that situations in life arrange themselves with dramatic propriety; and, after all, this vulgar necessity made the beginning of the conversation easier.

He picked up the tongs and carefully placed small pieces of coal on the remaining glow. Marian stood off to the side, feeling a mix of shame and annoyance. But it's rare for situations in life to unfold with such dramatic flair; and in the end, this mundane necessity made starting the conversation easier.

‘That will be all right now,’ said Jasper at length, as little tongues of flame began to shoot here and there.

‘That will be fine now,’ said Jasper after a while, as small tongues of flame started to appear here and there.

Marian said nothing, but seated herself and waited.

Marian didn’t say anything; she just took a seat and waited.

‘I came up to town yesterday,’ Jasper began. ‘Of course we have had a great deal to do and think about. Miss Harrow has been very kind indeed to the girls; so have several of our old friends in Wattleborough. It was necessary to decide at once what Maud and Dora are going to do, and it is on their account that I have come to see you.

‘I came to the city yesterday,’ Jasper started. ‘As you can imagine, we’ve had a lot on our plate to deal with. Miss Harrow has been incredibly kind to the girls; so have several of our old friends in Wattleborough. We needed to quickly figure out what Maud and Dora are going to do, and it’s for their sake that I’ve come to see you.

The listener kept silence, with a face of sympathetic attention.

The listener stayed quiet, wearing a sympathetic expression.

‘We have made up our minds that they may as well come to London. It’s a bold step; I’m by no means sure that the result will justify it. But I think they are perhaps right in wishing to try it.’

‘We’ve decided that they might as well come to London. It’s a bold move; I’m not entirely sure it’ll lead to anything good. But I think they might be right to want to give it a shot.’

‘They will go on with literary work?’

‘They will continue with their writing?’

‘Well, it’s our hope that they may be able to. Of course there’s no chance of their earning enough to live upon for some time. But the matter stands like this. They have a trifling sum of money, on which, at a pinch, they could live in London for perhaps a year and a half. In that time they may find their way to a sort of income; at all events, the chances are that a year and a half hence I shall be able to help them to keep body and soul together.’

‘Well, we hope that they can. Of course, there’s no way they’ll earn enough to live on for a while. But here's the situation: they have a small amount of money that could keep them living in London for maybe a year and a half if they really stretch it. During that time, they might figure out a way to bring in some income; at the very least, I’ll likely be able to help them get by in a year and a half.’

The money of which he spoke was the debt owed to their father by William Milvain. In consequence of Mrs Milvain’s pressing application, half of this sum had at length been paid and the remainder was promised in a year’s time, greatly to Jasper’s astonishment. In addition, there would be the trifle realised by the sale of furniture, though most of this might have to go in payment of rent unless the house could be relet immediately.

The money he was talking about was the debt William Milvain owed their father. Because Mrs. Milvain insisted on it, half of that amount had finally been paid, and the rest was promised in a year, which left Jasper pretty surprised. Also, there would be a small amount from selling the furniture, but most of that would likely have to go toward rent unless the house could be rented out again right away.

‘They have made a good beginning,’ said Marian.

‘They've made a great start,’ said Marian.

She spoke mechanically, for it was impossible to keep her thoughts under control. If Maud and Dora came to live in London it might bring about a most important change in her life; she could scarcely imagine the happiness of having two such friends always near. On the other hand, how would it be regarded by her father? She was at a loss amid conflicting emotions.

She spoke robotically, as she found it hard to keep her thoughts in check. If Maud and Dora moved to London, it could lead to a significant change in her life; she could barely imagine the joy of having two close friends always around. But how would her father react? She was confused, caught up in conflicting feelings.

‘It’s better than if they had done nothing at all,’ Jasper replied to her remark. ‘And the way they knocked that trifle together promises well. They did it very quickly, and in a far more workmanlike way than I should have thought possible.’

‘It’s better than if they had just sat around doing nothing,’ Jasper replied to her remark. ‘And the way they put that little thing together looks promising. They did it really quickly, and in a much more professional way than I would have expected.’

‘No doubt they share your own talent.’

‘I'm sure they have your talent, too.’

‘Perhaps so. Of course I know that I have talent of a kind, though I don’t rate it very high. We shall have to see whether they can do anything more than mere booksellers’ work; they are both very young, you know. I think they may be able to write something that’ll do for The English Girl, and no doubt I can hit upon a second idea that will appeal to Jolly and Monk. At all events, they’ll have books within reach, and better opportunities every way than at Finden.’

‘Maybe so. I know I have some talent, but I don't think it's anything special. We’ll have to see if they can do more than just sell books; they’re both pretty young, after all. I think they might be able to write something suitable for The English Girl, and I’m sure I can come up with another idea that’ll catch Jolly and Monk's interest. At the very least, they’ll have books close by and better opportunities overall than at Finden.’

‘How do their friends in the country think of it?’

‘What do their friends in the country think about it?’

‘Very dubiously; but then what else was to be expected? Of course, the respectable and intelligible path marked out for both of them points to a lifetime of governessing. But the girls have no relish for that; they’d rather do almost anything. We talked over all the aspects of the situation seriously enough—it is desperately serious, no doubt of that. I told them fairly all the hardships they would have to face—described the typical London lodgings, and so on. Still, there’s an adventurous vein in them, and they decided for the risk. If it came to the worst I suppose they could still find governess work.’

‘Very uncertainly; but what else could be expected? Naturally, the respectable and sensible path laid out for both of them leads to a lifetime of being a governess. But the girls have no interest in that; they’d rather do almost anything else. We discussed all aspects of the situation seriously enough—it is extremely serious, no doubt about that. I told them honestly about all the difficulties they would face—described the typical London accommodations, and so on. Still, there’s an adventurous side to them, and they chose to take the risk. If it comes to the worst, I suppose they could still find governess work.’

‘Let us hope better things.’

"Let’s hope for better things."

‘Yes. But now, I should have felt far more reluctant to let them come here in this way hadn’t it been that they regard you as a friend. To-morrow morning you will probably hear from one or both of them. Perhaps it would have been better if I had left them to tell you all this, but I felt I should like to see you and—put it in my own way. I think you’ll understand this feeling, Miss Yule. I wanted, in fact, to hear from yourself that you would be a friend to the poor girls.’

‘Yes. But now, I would have felt much more hesitant to let them come here like this if they didn't see you as a friend. Tomorrow morning, you’ll probably hear from one or both of them. Maybe it would have been better if I had let them tell you all this, but I wanted to see you and—express it in my own way. I think you’ll understand this, Miss Yule. I really wanted to hear from you that you would be a friend to the poor girls.’

‘Oh, you already know that! I shall be so very glad to see them often.’

‘Oh, you already know that! I’ll be so happy to see them often.’

Marian’s voice lent itself very naturally and sweetly to the expression of warm feeling. Emphasis was not her habit; it only needed that she should put off her ordinary reserve, utter quietly the emotional thought which so seldom might declare itself, and her tones had an exquisite womanliness.

Marian’s voice easily and charmingly conveyed warm feelings. She didn’t usually emphasize her words; she just had to drop her usual reserve, softly express the emotional thoughts that rarely came out, and her tone had a beautiful femininity.

Jasper looked full into her face.

Jasper looked straight at her face.

‘In that case they won’t miss the comfort of home so much. Of course they will have to go into very modest lodgings indeed. I have already been looking about. I should like to find rooms for them somewhere near my own place; it’s a decent neighbourhood, and the park is at hand, and then they wouldn’t be very far from you. They thought it might be possible to make a joint establishment with me, but I’m afraid that’s out of the question.

‘In that case, they won’t miss the comfort of home as much. Of course, they’ll have to settle for very modest accommodations. I’ve already been checking around. I’d like to find them a place close to my own; it’s a nice neighborhood, and the park is nearby, plus they wouldn’t be too far from you. They thought it might be possible to share a living arrangement with me, but I’m afraid that’s not an option.

The lodgings we should want in that case, everything considered, would cost more than the sum of our expenses if we live apart. Besides, there’s no harm in saying that I don’t think we should get along very well together. We’re all of us rather quarrelsome, to tell the truth, and we try each other’s tempers.’

The accommodations we would need in that situation, considering everything, would cost more than what we would spend if we lived separately. Plus, honestly, I don’t think we would get along very well together. We can all be quite argumentative, to be fair, and we really test each other's patience.

Marian smiled and looked puzzled.

Marian smiled, looking confused.

‘Shouldn’t you have thought that?’

"Shouldn't you have thought about that?"

‘I have seen no signs of quarrelsomeness.’

‘I haven’t seen any signs of being combative.’

‘I’m not sure that the worst fault is on my side. Why should one condemn oneself against conscience? Maud is perhaps the hardest to get along with. She has a sort of arrogance, an exaggeration of something I am quite aware of in myself. You have noticed that trait in me?’

‘I’m not sure that the biggest fault is mine. Why should anyone condemn themselves against their own conscience? Maud is maybe the most difficult person to deal with. She has a kind of arrogance, an exaggeration of something I know I have in myself. Have you noticed that trait in me?’

‘Arrogance—I think not. You have self-confidence.’

‘Arrogance—I don’t think so. You have self-confidence.’

‘Which goes into extremes now and then. But, putting myself aside, I feel pretty sure that the girls won’t seem quarrelsome to you; they would have to be very fractious indeed before that were possible.’

‘Which goes to extremes now and then. But, putting myself aside, I'm pretty sure that the girls won’t seem combative to you; they would have to be very irritable indeed before that could happen.’

‘We shall continue to be friends, I am sure.’

‘I'm sure we’ll keep being friends.’

Jasper let his eyes wander about the room.

Jasper looked around the room.

‘This is your father’s study?’

'Is this your dad's study?'

‘Yes.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Perhaps it would have seemed odd to Mr Yule if I had come in and begun to talk to him about these purely private affairs. He knows me so very slightly. But, in calling here for the first time—’

‘Maybe it would have seemed strange to Mr. Yule if I had walked in and started chatting with him about these totally personal matters. He doesn't know me very well at all. But, since this is my first time here—’

An unusual embarrassment checked him.

An unusual embarrassment held him back.

‘I will explain to father your very natural wish to speak of these things,’ said Marian, with tact.

"I'll explain to Dad your totally normal desire to talk about these things," Marian said, tactfully.

She thought uneasily of her mother in the next room. To her there appeared no reason whatever why Jasper should not be introduced to Mrs Yule, yet she could not venture to propose it. Remembering her father’s last remarks about Milvain in connection with Fadge’s magazine, she must wait for distinct permission before offering the young man encouragement to repeat his visit. Perhaps there was complicated trouble in store for her; impossible to say how her father’s deep-rooted and rankling antipathies might affect her intercourse even with the two girls. But she was of independent years; she must be allowed the choice of her own friends. The pleasure she had in seeing Jasper under this roof, in hearing him talk with such intimate friendliness, strengthened her to resist timid thoughts.

She felt uneasy thinking about her mom in the next room. To her, there was no reason why Jasper shouldn’t be introduced to Mrs. Yule, but she couldn’t bring herself to suggest it. Remembering her dad's last comments about Milvain in relation to Fadge’s magazine, she knew she had to wait for clear permission before encouraging the young man to visit again. There might be complicated issues ahead for her; it was hard to tell how her dad’s deep-seated and lingering dislikes could affect her interactions even with the two girls. But she was of an age where she should be able to choose her own friends. The joy she felt seeing Jasper in her home, listening to him speak with such warmth, gave her the strength to push away her anxious thoughts.

‘When will your sisters arrive?’ she asked.

‘When are your sisters getting here?’ she asked.

‘I think in a very few days. When I have fixed upon lodgings for them I must go back to Finden; then they will return with me as soon as we can get the house emptied. It’s rather miserable selling things one has lived among from childhood. A friend in Wattleborough will house for us what we really can’t bear to part with.’

‘I think in just a few days. Once I find a place for them, I need to go back to Finden; then they’ll come back with me as soon as we can clear out the house. It’s pretty awful selling things you’ve lived with since childhood. A friend in Wattleborough will store the things we really can’t stand to lose.’

‘It must be very sad,’ Marian murmured.

“It must be really sad,” Marian murmured.

‘You know,’ said the other suddenly, ‘that it’s my fault the girls are left in such a hard position?’

‘You know,’ the other person said suddenly, ‘that it’s my fault the girls are in such a tough spot?’

Marian looked at him with startled eyes. His tone was quite unfamiliar to her.

Marian looked at him with wide eyes. His tone sounded completely different to her.

‘Mother had an annuity,’ he continued. ‘It ended with her life, but if it hadn’t been for me she could have saved a good deal out of it. Until the last year or two I have earned nothing, and I have spent more than was strictly necessary. Well, I didn’t live like that in mere recklessness; I knew I was preparing myself for remunerative work. But it seems too bad now. I’m sorry for it. I wish I had found some way of supporting myself. The end of mother’s life was made far more unhappy than it need have been. I should like you to understand all this.’

‘Mom had an annuity,’ he continued. ‘It ended with her life, but if it hadn’t been for me, she could have saved a lot from it. Until the last year or two, I haven’t earned anything, and I’ve spent more than was really necessary. Well, I didn't live like this out of sheer carelessness; I knew I was getting ready for a paying job. But now it seems unfortunate. I regret it. I wish I had figured out a way to support myself. The end of mom's life was made much more unhappy than it had to be. I want you to understand all of this.’

The listener kept her eyes on the ground.

The listener kept her gaze fixed on the ground.

‘Perhaps the girls have hinted it to you?’ Jasper added.

‘Maybe the girls have mentioned it to you?’ Jasper added.

‘No.’

'No.'

‘Selfishness—that’s one of my faults. It isn’t a brutal kind of selfishness; the thought of it often enough troubles me. If I were rich, I should be a generous and good man; I know I should. So would many another poor fellow whose worst features come out under hardship. This isn’t a heroic type; of course not. I am a civilised man, that’s all.’

‘Selfishness—that’s one of my flaws. It isn’t a harsh kind of selfishness; just the thought of it often bothers me. If I were wealthy, I would be a generous and kind person; I know I would. So would many other unfortunate souls whose worst traits emerge under pressure. This isn’t a heroic type, of course not. I’m just a civilized person, that’s all.’

Marian could say nothing.

Marian couldn't say anything.

‘You wonder why I am so impertinent as to talk about myself like this. I have gone through a good deal of mental pain these last few weeks, and somehow I can’t help showing you something of my real thoughts. Just because you are one of the few people I regard with sincere respect. I don’t know you very well, but quite well enough to respect you. My sisters think of you in the same way. I shall do many a base thing in life, just to get money and reputation; I tell you this that you mayn’t be surprised if anything of that kind comes to your ears. I can’t afford to live as I should like to.’

‘You might be wondering why I’m being so bold as to talk about myself like this. I've been through a lot of emotional pain these past few weeks, and I can’t help but share some of my true thoughts with you. It's just that you are one of the few people I genuinely respect. I don’t know you very well, but enough to hold you in high regard. My sisters feel the same way about you. I’ll likely do some pretty questionable things in life just to make money and build my reputation; I’m telling you this so you won’t be shocked if you hear anything like that. I can’t afford to live the way I wish I could.’

She looked up at him with a smile.

She looked up at him and smiled.

‘People who are going to live unworthily don’t declare it in this way.’

‘People who are going to live unworthily don’t announce it like this.’

‘I oughtn’t to; a few minutes ago I had no intention of saying such things. It means I am rather overstrung, I suppose; but it’s all true, unfortunately.’

‘I shouldn't; a few minutes ago I had no intention of saying anything like that. I guess it means I'm a bit on edge, but unfortunately, it’s all true.’

He rose, and began to run his eye along the shelves nearest to him.

He got up and started to look over the shelves closest to him.

‘Well, now I will go, Miss Yule.’

‘Well, now I’m going to head out, Miss Yule.’

Marian stood up as he approached.

Marian stood up as he walked over.

‘It’s all very well,’ he said, smiling, ‘for me to encourage my sisters in the hope that they may earn a living; but suppose I can’t even do it myself? It’s by no means certain that I shall make ends meet this year.’

“It’s all well and good,” he said with a smile, “for me to encourage my sisters in the hope that they can make a living; but what if I can’t even do it myself? It’s not at all certain that I’ll be able to make ends meet this year.”

‘You have every reason to hope, I think.’

‘You have every reason to be hopeful, I believe.’

‘I like to hear people say that, but it’ll mean savage work. When we were all at Finden last year, I told the girls that it would be another twelve months before I could support myself. Now I am forced to do it. And I don’t like work; my nature is lazy. I shall never write for writing’s sake, only to make money. All my plans and efforts will have money in view—all. I shan’t allow anything to come in the way of my material advancement.’

‘I like hearing people say that, but it’ll mean hard work. When we were all at Finden last year, I told the girls it would be another twelve months before I could support myself. Now I have to do it. And I don’t like working; I’m naturally lazy. I’ll never write just for the sake of writing, only to make money. All my plans and efforts will be focused on making money—all of them. I won’t let anything get in the way of my financial progress.’

‘I wish you every success,’ said Marian, without looking at him, and without a smile.

"I wish you all the success," said Marian, without looking at him and without a smile.

‘Thank you. But that sounds too much like good-bye. I trust we are to be friends, for all that?’

‘Thank you. But that sounds too much like a goodbye. I hope we’re going to be friends, despite everything?’

‘Indeed, I hope we may be.’

‘Indeed, I hope we can be.’

They shook hands, and he went towards the door. But before opening it, he asked:

They shook hands, and he walked over to the door. But before he opened it, he asked:

‘Did you read that thing of mine in The Current?’

‘Did you read that piece of mine in The Current?’

‘Yes, I did.’

"Yeah, I did."

‘It wasn’t bad, I think?’

"I think it was okay?"

‘It seemed to me very clever.’

‘It seemed really clever to me.’

‘Clever—yes, that’s the word. It had a success, too. I have as good a thing half done for the April number, but I’ve felt too heavy-hearted to go on with it. The girls shall let you know when they are in town.’

‘Smart—yes, that’s the word. It was a success, too. I have another great piece half done for the April issue, but I’ve been feeling too down to continue with it. The girls will let you know when they’re in town.’

Marian followed him into the passage, and watched him as he opened the front door. When it had closed, she went back into the study for a few minutes before rejoining her mother.

Marian followed him into the hallway and watched him as he opened the front door. Once it closed, she went back into the study for a few minutes before joining her mother again.





CHAPTER IX. INVITA MINERVA

After all, there came a day when Edwin Reardon found himself regularly at work once more, ticking off his stipulated quantum of manuscript each four-and-twenty hours. He wrote a very small hand; sixty written slips of the kind of paper he habitually used would represent—thanks to the astonishing system which prevails in such matters: large type, wide spacing, frequency of blank pages—a passable three-hundred-page volume. On an average he could write four such slips a day; so here we have fifteen days for the volume, and forty-five for the completed book.

After all, there came a day when Edwin Reardon found himself back at work regularly, checking off his required amount of manuscript every twenty-four hours. He had very small handwriting; sixty pieces of the kind of paper he usually used would make up, due to the incredible system that exists in such matters—large font, wide spacing, frequent blank pages—a decent three-hundred-page book. On average, he could write four of those slips a day; so that makes fifteen days for the volume, and forty-five for the finished book.

Forty-five days; an eternity in the looking forward. Yet the calculation gave him a faint-hearted encouragement. At that rate he might have his book sold by Christmas. It would certainly not bring him a hundred pounds; seventy-five perhaps. But even that small sum would enable him to pay the quarter’s rent, and then give him a short time, if only two or three weeks, of mental rest. If such rest could not be obtained all was at an end with him. He must either find some new means of supporting himself and his family, or—have done with life and its responsibilities altogether.

Forty-five days; an eternity when you're counting down. But doing the math gave him a bit of hope. At that pace, he might sell his book by Christmas. It probably wouldn't earn him a hundred pounds; maybe just seventy-five. But even that amount would cover the rent for the quarter and give him a little break, even if it was just for two or three weeks. If he couldn't get that break, it would be the end of the road for him. He'd have to either find a new way to support himself and his family, or—give up on life and all its responsibilities entirely.

The latter alternative was often enough before him. He seldom slept for more than two or three consecutive hours in the night, and the time of wakefulness was often terrible. The various sounds which marked the stages from midnight to dawn had grown miserably familiar to him; worst torture to his mind was the chiming and striking of clocks. Two of these were in general audible, that of Marylebone parish church, and that of the adjoining workhouse; the latter always sounded several minutes after its ecclesiastical neighbour, and with a difference of note which seemed to Reardon very appropriate—a thin, querulous voice, reminding one of the community it represented. After lying awake for awhile he would hear quarters sounding; if they ceased before the fourth he was glad, for he feared to know what time it was. If the hour was complete, he waited anxiously for its number. Two, three, even four, were grateful; there was still a long time before he need rise and face the dreaded task, the horrible four blank slips of paper that had to be filled ere he might sleep again. But such restfulness was only for a moment; no sooner had the workhouse bell become silent than he began to toil in his weary imagination, or else, incapable of that, to vision fearful hazards of the future. The soft breathing of Amy at his side, the contact of her warm limbs, often filled him with intolerable dread. Even now he did not believe that Amy loved him with the old love, and the suspicion was like a cold weight at his heart that to retain even her wifely sympathy, her wedded tenderness, he must achieve the impossible.

The latter option was often enough for him. He rarely slept for more than two or three hours at a stretch during the night, and the time spent wide awake was often dreadful. The various sounds marking the hours from midnight to dawn had become painfully familiar to him; the worst torture for his mind was the chiming and striking of clocks. Two of them could be heard clearly: the clock from Marylebone parish church and the one from the nearby workhouse; the latter always rang several minutes after the church clock, with a tone that seemed very fitting to Reardon—a thin, whiny sound that reminded him of the community it represented. After lying awake for a while, he would hear the quarter chimes; if they stopped before the fourth, he felt relieved, as he dreaded knowing what time it was. If the hour struck fully, he waited anxiously for the number. Two, three, even four were a relief; there was still plenty of time before he would have to get up and confront the dreaded task—the awful four blank pieces of paper that had to be filled out before he could sleep again. But such moments of rest were short-lived; no sooner had the workhouse bell stopped than he began to labor in his tired mind, or if he couldn't manage that, to picture terrifying risks for the future. The soft sound of Amy's breathing next to him, the touch of her warm body, often filled him with unbearable anxiety. Even now, he didn't believe that Amy loved him like she used to, and the suspicion felt like a cold weight in his chest, making him feel that to keep even her wifely kindness and tenderness, he had to accomplish the impossible.

The impossible; for he could no longer deceive himself with a hope of genuine success. If he earned a bare living, that would be the utmost. And with bare livelihood Amy would not, could not, be content.

The impossible; he could no longer trick himself into believing he could genuinely succeed. If he could just scrape by, that would be the best he could do. And with just getting by, Amy wouldn't, couldn't, be satisfied.

If he were to die a natural death it would be well for all. His wife and the child would be looked after; they could live with Mrs Edmund Yule, and certainly it would not be long before Amy married again, this time a man of whose competency to maintain her there would be no doubt. His own behaviour had been cowardly selfishness. Oh yes, she had loved him, had been eager to believe in him. But there was always that voice of warning in his mind; he foresaw—he knew—

If he were to die a natural death, it would be best for everyone. His wife and the child would be taken care of; they could live with Mrs. Edmund Yule, and it wouldn’t be long before Amy remarried, this time to a man who could definitely support her. His own behavior had been cowardly and selfish. Oh yes, she loved him and wanted to believe in him. But there was always that warning voice in his mind; he foresaw—he knew—

And if he killed himself? Not here; no lurid horrors for that poor girl and her relatives; but somewhere at a distance, under circumstances which would render the recovery of his body difficult, yet would leave no doubt of his death. Would that, again, be cowardly? The opposite, when once it was certain that to live meant poverty and wretchedness. Amy’s grief, however sincere, would be but a short trial compared with what else might lie before her. The burden of supporting her and Willie would be a very slight one if she went to live in her mother’s house. He considered the whole matter night after night, until perchance it happened that sleep had pity upon him for an hour before the time of rising.

And what if he took his own life? Not here; no shocking horrors for that poor girl and her family; but somewhere far away, in a way that would make it hard to recover his body, yet leave no doubt that he was dead. Would that be cowardly? It might actually be the opposite, once it was clear that living meant poverty and misery. Amy’s sorrow, no matter how genuine, would be a brief hardship compared to what else might await her. The weight of taking care of her and Willie would be pretty minimal if she moved back in with her mom. He thought about the whole situation night after night, until maybe, just maybe, sleep would show him some mercy for an hour before he had to get up.

Autumn was passing into winter. Dark days, which were always an oppression to his mind, began to be frequent, and would soon succeed each other remorselessly. Well, if only each of them represented four written slips.

Autumn was turning into winter. The dark days, which always weighed heavily on his mind, were starting to become frequent and would soon follow one after another without mercy. Well, if only each of them represented four written slips.

Milvain’s advice to him had of course proved useless. The sensational title suggested nothing, or only ragged shapes of incomplete humanity that fluttered mockingly when he strove to fix them. But he had decided upon a story of the kind natural to him; a ‘thin’ story, and one which it would be difficult to spin into three volumes. His own, at all events. The title was always a matter for head-racking when the book was finished; he had never yet chosen it before beginning.

Milvain’s advice had turned out to be completely useless. The catchy title suggested nothing substantial, just fragmented images of incomplete people that danced mockingly when he tried to grasp them. But he had settled on a story that felt natural to him; a ‘thin’ story that would be hard to stretch into three volumes. His own, at least. The title was always a struggle to come up with after finishing the book; he had never chosen it before he started writing.

For a week he got on at the desired rate; then came once more the crisis he had anticipated.

For a week, he maintained the expected pace; then the crisis he had anticipated arrived again.

A familiar symptom of the malady which falls upon outwearied imagination. There were floating in his mind five or six possible subjects for a book, all dating back to the time when he first began novel-writing, when ideas came freshly to him. If he grasped desperately at one of these, and did his best to develop it, for a day or two he could almost content himself; characters, situations, lines of motive, were laboriously schemed, and he felt ready to begin writing. But scarcely had he done a chapter or two when all the structure fell into flatness. He had made a mistake. Not this story, but that other one, was what he should have taken. The other one in question, left out of mind for a time, had come back with a face of new possibility; it invited him, tempted him to throw aside what he had already written. Good; now he was in more hopeful train. But a few days, and the experience repeated itself. No, not this story, but that third one, of which he had not thought for a long time. How could he have rejected so hopeful a subject?

A familiar sign of the fatigue that hits an exhausted imagination. He had five or six potential book ideas floating around in his mind, all from the time he first started writing novels when ideas came to him easily. If he desperately grabbed onto one and worked hard to develop it, he could almost be satisfied for a day or two; characters, situations, and motives were painstakingly planned, and he felt ready to start writing. But as soon as he completed a chapter or two, everything lost its appeal. He realized he had made a mistake. Not this story, but that other one was the one he should have chosen. That other story, forgotten for a while, had returned with a fresh sense of possibility; it called to him, tempting him to abandon what he had already written. Good; now he felt more inspired. But a few days later, the same pattern happened again. No, not this story, but that third one, which he hadn't thought about in a long time. How could he have overlooked such a promising topic?

For months he had been living in this way; endless circling, perpetual beginning, followed by frustration. A sign of exhaustion, it of course made exhaustion more complete. At times he was on the border-land of imbecility; his mind looked into a cloudy chaos, a shapeless whirl of nothings. He talked aloud to himself, not knowing that he did so. Little phrases which indicated dolorously the subject of his preoccupation often escaped him in the street: ‘What could I make of that, now?’ ‘Well, suppose I made him—?’ ‘But no, that wouldn’t do,’ and so on. It had happened that he caught the eye of some one passing fixed in surprise upon him; so young a man to be talking to himself in evident distress!

For months he had been living like this; endless circling, constant starting over, followed by frustration. It was a sign of exhaustion, and it made his fatigue even worse. At times, he hovered on the edge of stupidity; his mind was lost in a cloudy chaos, a shapeless swirl of nothingness. He talked to himself without realizing it. Little phrases that sorrowfully revealed what was on his mind would escape him on the street: ‘What can I do with that now?’ ‘Well, what if I made him—?’ ‘But no, that wouldn’t work,’ and so on. Once, he noticed someone passing by who stared at him in surprise; such a young man talking to himself in obvious distress!

The expected crisis came, even now that he was savagely determined to go on at any cost, to write, let the result be what it would. His will prevailed. A day or two of anguish such as there is no describing to the inexperienced, and again he was dismissing slip after slip, a sigh of thankfulness at the completion of each one. It was a fraction of the whole, a fraction, a fraction.

The expected crisis hit, but even now he was fiercely resolved to keep going no matter what, to write, no matter the outcome. His determination won out. After a day or two of suffering that’s hard to put into words for someone who hasn't experienced it, he was once again going through slip after slip, letting out a sigh of relief with each one he completed. It was just a small part of the whole, a small part, a small part.

The ordering of his day was thus. At nine, after breakfast, he sat down to his desk, and worked till one. Then came dinner, followed by a walk. As a rule he could not allow Amy to walk with him, for he had to think over the remainder of the day’s toil, and companionship would have been fatal. At about half-past three he again seated himself; and wrote until half-past six, when he had a meal. Then once more to work from half-past seven to ten. Numberless were the experiments he had tried for the day’s division. The slightest interruption of the order for the time being put him out of gear; Amy durst not open his door to ask however necessary a question.

The schedule of his day was like this. At nine, after breakfast, he sat down at his desk and worked until one. Then came lunch, followed by a walk. Usually, he couldn’t let Amy join him on his walk because he needed to think about the day’s work, and having company would ruin that. Around three-thirty, he sat down again and wrote until six-thirty, when he had another meal. Then it was back to work from seven-thirty until ten. He had tried countless ways to divide his day. Even the smallest interruption messed up his rhythm; Amy didn’t dare knock on his door, no matter how important her question was.

Sometimes the three hours’ labour of a morning resulted in half-a-dozen lines, corrected into illegibility. His brain would not work; he could not recall the simplest synonyms; intolerable faults of composition drove him mad. He would write a sentence beginning thus: ‘She took a book with a look of—;’ or thus: ‘A revision of this decision would have made him an object of derision.’ Or, if the period were otherwise inoffensive, it ran in a rhythmic gallop which was torment to the ear. All this, in spite of the fact that his former books had been noticeably good in style. He had an appreciation of shapely prose which made him scorn himself for the kind of stuff he was now turning out. ‘I can’t help it; it must go; the time is passing.’

Sometimes the three hours of morning work resulted in just half a dozen lines, edited until they were unreadable. His brain just wouldn't cooperate; he couldn't remember the simplest synonyms, and glaring issues with his writing drove him insane. He would start a sentence like this: ‘She took a book with a look of—;’ or maybe: ‘A revision of this decision would have made him an object of derision.’ Or, if the sentence wasn’t too offensive, it flowed in a jarring rhythm that was painful to hear. All of this, despite the fact that his earlier books had been clearly well-written. He had a knack for polished prose, which made him despise the mediocre work he was producing now. ‘I can’t help it; it has to go; time is running out.’

Things were better, as a rule, in the evening. Occasionally he wrote a page with fluency which recalled his fortunate years; and then his heart gladdened, his hand trembled with joy.

Things were usually better in the evening. Sometimes he wrote a page with such ease that it reminded him of his happier years; in those moments, his heart felt light, and his hand shook with joy.

Description of locality, deliberate analysis of character or motive, demanded far too great an effort for his present condition. He kept as much as possible to dialogue; the space is filled so much more quickly, and at a pinch one can make people talk about the paltriest incidents of life.

Description of the area, a careful analysis of character or motive, required way too much effort for his current state. He stuck to dialogue as much as possible; it fills the space much quicker, and if necessary, one can get people to talk about the smallest details of life.

There came an evening when he opened the door and called to Amy.

There was an evening when he opened the door and called out to Amy.

‘What is it?’ she answered from the bedroom. ‘I’m busy with Willie.’

‘What is it?’ she called from the bedroom. ‘I’m busy with Willie.’

‘Come as soon as you are free.’

‘Come as soon as you can.’

In ten minutes she appeared. There was apprehension on her face; she feared he was going to lament his inability to work. Instead of that, he told her joyfully that the first volume was finished.

In ten minutes, she showed up. There was worry on her face; she was afraid he was going to regret his inability to work. Instead, he happily told her that the first volume was done.

‘Thank goodness!’ she exclaimed. ‘Are you going to do any more to-night?’

‘Thank goodness!’ she exclaimed. ‘Are you going to do anything else tonight?’

‘I think not—if you will come and sit with me.’

‘I don’t think so—if you’ll come and sit with me.’

‘Willie doesn’t seem very well. He can’t get to sleep.’

‘Willie doesn’t seem very well. He can’t fall asleep.’

‘You would like to stay with him?’

‘You want to stay with him?’

‘A little while. I’ll come presently.’

‘Just a moment. I’ll be right there.’

She closed the door. Reardon brought a high-backed chair to the fireside, and allowed himself to forget the two volumes that had still to be struggled through, in a grateful sense of the portion that was achieved. In a few minutes it occurred to him that it would be delightful to read a scrap of the ‘Odyssey’; he went to the shelves on which were his classical books, took the desired volume, and opened it where Odysseus speaks to Nausicaa:

She closed the door. Reardon pulled a high-backed chair over to the fireplace and let himself forget about the two volumes he still had to get through, feeling grateful for what he had accomplished. After a few minutes, it struck him that it would be nice to read a bit of the 'Odyssey'; he went to the shelf where his classical books were, grabbed the right volume, and opened it to the part where Odysseus talks to Nausicaa:

‘For never yet did I behold one of mortals like to thee, neither man nor woman; I am awed as I look upon thee. In Delos once, hard by the altar of Apollo, I saw a young palm-tree shooting up with even such a grace.’

‘For I have never seen a mortal like you, neither man nor woman; I am in awe as I look at you. Once in Delos, near the altar of Apollo, I saw a young palm tree growing up with just as much grace.’

Yes, yes; THAT was not written at so many pages a day, with a workhouse clock clanging its admonition at the poet’s ear. How it freshened the soul! How the eyes grew dim with a rare joy in the sounding of those nobly sweet hexameters!

Yes, yes; THAT wasn't written with a daily page limit while a factory clock chimed its reminders in the poet’s ear. How it revitalized the spirit! How the eyes became misty with a unique joy in the rhythm of those beautifully crafted lines!

Amy came into the room again.

Amy walked into the room again.

‘Listen,’ said Reardon, looking up at her with a bright smile. ‘Do you remember the first time that I read you this?’

'Listen,' Reardon said, looking up at her with a big smile. 'Do you remember the first time I read this to you?'

And he turned the speech into free prose. Amy laughed.

And he transformed the speech into casual prose. Amy laughed.

‘I remember it well enough. We were alone in the drawing-room; I had told the others that they must make shift with the dining-room for that evening. And you pulled the book out of your pocket unexpectedly. I laughed at your habit of always carrying little books about.’

‘I remember it clearly. We were alone in the living room; I had told the others they had to manage with the dining room for the evening. And then you pulled the book out of your pocket unexpectedly. I laughed at your habit of always carrying little books with you.’

The cheerful news had brightened her. If she had been summoned to hear lamentations her voice would not have rippled thus soothingly. Reardon thought of this, and it made him silent for a minute.

The good news had lifted her spirits. If she had been called to hear sad stories, her voice wouldn't have flowed so calmly. Reardon thought about this, and it left him quiet for a moment.

‘The habit was ominous,’ he said, looking at her with an uncertain smile. ‘A practical literary man doesn’t do such things.’

‘That habit is concerning,’ he said, giving her a hesitant smile. ‘A sensible writer doesn’t act like that.’

‘Milvain, for instance. No.’

'Milvain, for example. No.'

With curious frequency she mentioned the name of Milvain. Her unconsciousness in doing so prevented Reardon from thinking about the fact; still, he had noted it.

With surprising regularity, she brought up Milvain's name. Her lack of awareness in doing this kept Reardon from focusing on it, but he still noticed.

‘Did you understand the phrase slightingly?’ he asked.

‘Did you get the meaning of the word slightingly?’ he asked.

‘Slightingly? Yes, a little, of course. It always has that sense on your lips, I think.’

‘Slightly? Yeah, a bit, for sure. It always has that feeling on your lips, I think.’

In the light of this answer he mused upon her readily-offered instance. True, he had occasionally spoken of Jasper with something less than respect, but Amy was not in the habit of doing so.

In light of this response, he thought about her quickly given example. True, he had sometimes talked about Jasper with less than respect, but Amy wasn’t the type to do that.

‘I hadn’t any such meaning just then,’ he said. ‘I meant quite simply that my bookish habits didn’t promise much for my success as a novelist.’

‘I didn’t mean anything like that at the time,’ he said. ‘I was just saying that my reading habits didn’t really suggest I would be successful as a novelist.’

‘I see. But you didn’t think of it in that way at the time.’

‘I see. But you didn't consider it like that back then.’

He sighed.

He sighed.

‘No. At least—no.’

‘No. At least—no.’

‘At least what?’

“At least what’s the point?”

‘Well, no; on the whole I had good hope.’

‘Well, no; overall I felt pretty hopeful.’

Amy twisted her fingers together impatiently.

Amy fidgeted with her fingers impatiently.

‘Edwin, let me tell you something. You are getting too fond of speaking in a discouraging way. Now, why should you do so? I don’t like it. It has one disagreeable effect on me, and that is, when people ask me about you, how you are getting on, I don’t quite know how to answer. They can’t help seeing that I am uneasy. I speak so differently from what I used to.’

‘Edwin, let me tell you something. You’re getting too comfortable with speaking in a negative way. Now, why should you do that? I don’t like it. It has one unpleasant effect on me, and that is, when people ask me about you, how you’re doing, I don’t really know how to respond. They can’t help but notice that I’m uneasy. I talk so differently from how I used to.’

‘Do you, really?’

"Are you serious?"

‘Indeed I can’t help it. As I say, it’s very much your own fault.’

‘Honestly, I can't help it. Like I said, it's really your own fault.’

‘Well, but granted that I am not of a very sanguine nature, and that I easily fall into gloomy ways of talk, what is Amy here for?’

‘Well, even if I’m not very optimistic and tend to get into a gloomy mood easily, what’s Amy doing here?’

‘Yes, yes. But—’

"Sure, sure. But—"

‘But?’

‘But?’

‘I am not here only to try and keep you in good spirits, am I?’

‘I’m not just here to try to keep you in a good mood, am I?’

She asked it prettily, with a smile like that of maidenhood.

She asked it sweetly, with a smile that was youthful and charming.

‘Heaven forbid! I oughtn’t to have put it in that absolute way. I was half joking, you know. But unfortunately it’s true that I can’t be as light-spirited as I could wish. Does that make you impatient with me?’

‘Heaven forbid! I shouldn’t have said it like that. I was half joking, you know. But unfortunately, it’s true that I can’t be as carefree as I’d like. Does that make you frustrated with me?’

‘A little. I can’t help the feeling, and I ought to try to overcome it. But you must try on your side as well. Why should you have said that thing just now?’

‘A bit. I can’t shake this feeling, and I should work on getting past it. But you need to try your part too. Why did you say that just now?’

‘You’re quite right. It was needless.’

‘You’re absolutely right. It was unnecessary.’

‘A few weeks ago I didn’t expect you to be cheerful. Things began to look about as bad as they could. But now that you’ve got a volume finished, there’s hope once more.’

‘A few weeks ago, I didn’t think you’d be in a good mood. Things were looking as bleak as possible. But now that you’ve completed a volume, there’s hope again.’

Hope? Of what quality? Reardon durst not say what rose in his thoughts. ‘A very small, poor hope. Hope of money enough to struggle through another half year, if indeed enough for that.’ He had learnt that Amy was not to be told the whole truth about anything as he himself saw it. It was a pity. To the ideal wife a man speaks out all that is in him; she had infinitely rather share his full conviction than be treated as one from whom facts must be disguised. She says: ‘Let us face the worst and talk of it together, you and I.’ No, Amy was not the ideal wife from that point of view. But the moment after this half-reproach had traversed his consciousness he condemned himself; and looked with the joy of love into her clear eyes.

Hope? What kind of hope? Reardon couldn’t say what was swirling in his mind. ‘A very small, flimsy hope. Hope for just enough money to get through another six months, if that.’ He had figured out that Amy wasn’t someone who could handle the whole truth, as he saw it. It was a shame. To the ideal wife, a man shares everything that’s in his heart; she would much rather know his complete thoughts than be treated like someone who needs to be shielded from reality. She would say, ‘Let’s face the worst and discuss it together, you and I.’ No, Amy wasn’t the ideal wife in that regard. But just after that fleeting reproach crossed his mind, he chastised himself and looked into her clear eyes with the warmth of love.

‘Yes, there’s hope once more, my dearest. No more gloomy talk to-night! I have read you something, now you shall read something to me; it is a long time since I delighted myself with listening to you. What shall it be?’

‘Yes, there’s hope again, my dearest. No more sad talk tonight! I’ve read you something, now you should read something to me; it’s been a long time since I enjoyed listening to you. What will it be?’

‘I feel rather too tired to-night.’

"I'm feeling pretty tired tonight."

‘Do you?’

"Do you?"

‘I have had to look after Willie so much. But read me some more Homer; I shall be very glad to listen.’

‘I’ve had to take care of Willie a lot. But read me more Homer; I’d love to listen.’

Reardon reached for the book again, but not readily. His face showed disappointment. Their evenings together had never been the same since the birth of the child; Willie was always an excuse—valid enough—for Amy’s feeling tired. The little boy had come between him and the mother, as must always be the case in poor homes, most of all where the poverty is relative. Reardon could not pass the subject without a remark, but he tried to speak humorously.

Reardon reached for the book again, but not easily. His face showed disappointment. Their evenings together had never been the same since the baby was born; Willie was always a valid excuse for Amy feeling tired. The little boy had come between him and the mother, as often happens in struggling homes, especially when the poverty feels relative. Reardon couldn't avoid the topic without saying something, but he tried to keep it lighthearted.

‘There ought to be a huge public creche in London. It’s monstrous that an educated mother should have to be nursemaid.’

‘There should be a large public daycare in London. It's ridiculous that an educated mother has to act as a nanny.’

‘But you know very well I think nothing of that. A creche, indeed! No child of mine should go to any such place.’

‘But you know very well I think nothing of that. A daycare, really! No child of mine should go to any such place.’

There it was. She grudged no trouble on behalf of the child. That was love; whereas—But then maternal love was a mere matter of course.

There it was. She held nothing back for the child. That was love; whereas—But then, maternal love was simply expected.

‘As soon as you get two or three hundred pounds for a book,’ she added, laughing, ‘there’ll be no need for me to give so much time.’

‘As soon as you earn two or three hundred pounds for a book,’ she added, laughing, ‘there won’t be any need for me to spend so much time on it.’

‘Two or three hundred pounds!’ He repeated it with a shake of the head. ‘Ah, if that were possible!’

‘Two or three hundred pounds!’ He said it again, shaking his head. ‘Oh, if only that were possible!’

‘But that’s really a paltry sum. What would fifty novelists you could name say if they were offered three hundred pounds for a book? How much do you suppose even Markland got for his last?’

‘But that’s really a small amount. What do you think fifty well-known novelists would say if they were offered three hundred pounds for a book? How much do you think even Markland made for his last one?’

‘Didn’t sell it at all, ten to one. Gets a royalty.’

‘Probably didn’t sell it at all, most likely gets a royalty.’

‘Which will bring him five or six hundred pounds before the book ceases to be talked of.’

‘Which will earn him five or six hundred pounds before people stop talking about the book.’

‘Never mind. I’m sick of the word “pounds.”’

‘Never mind. I’m tired of the word “pounds.”’

‘So am I.’

"Me too."

She sighed, commenting thus on her acquiescence.

She sighed, commenting on her agreement.

‘But look, Amy. If I try to be cheerful in spite of natural dumps, wouldn’t it be fair for you to put aside thoughts of money?’

‘But look, Amy. If I try to stay upbeat despite feeling down, wouldn’t it be fair for you to set aside thoughts of money?’

‘Yes. Read some Homer, dear. Let us have Odysseus down in Hades, and Ajax stalking past him. Oh, I like that!’

‘Yes. Read some Homer, dear. Let’s have Odysseus in Hades, and Ajax walking by him. Oh, I like that!’

So he read, rather coldly at first, but soon warming. Amy sat with folded arms, a smile on her lips, her brows knitted to the epic humour. In a few minutes it was as if no difficulties threatened their life. Every now and then Reardon looked up from his translating with a delighted laugh, in which Amy joined.

So he read, a bit stiff at first, but soon getting into it. Amy sat with her arms crossed, a smile on her face, her brows furrowed in playful amusement. In just a few minutes, it felt like there were no problems looming over them. Every now and then, Reardon looked up from his translation with a joyful laugh, and Amy joined in.

When he had returned the book to the shelf he stepped behind his wife’s chair, leaned upon it, and put his cheek against hers.

When he put the book back on the shelf, he stepped behind his wife's chair, leaned on it, and rested his cheek against hers.

‘Amy!’

‘Amy!’

‘Yes, dear?’

"Yes, honey?"

‘Do you still love me a little?’

‘Do you still love me at all?’

‘Much more than a little.’

‘Way more than a bit.’

‘Though I am sunk to writing a wretched pot-boiler?’

‘Am I really reduced to writing a terrible cash grab?’

‘Is it so bad as all that?’

"Is it really that awful?"

‘Confoundedly bad. I shall be ashamed to see it in print; the proofs will be a martyrdom.’

‘Incredibly bad. I'll be embarrassed to see it in print; the proofs will be a nightmare.’

‘Oh, but why? why?’

"Oh, but why? Why?"

‘It’s the best I can do, dearest. So you don’t love me enough to hear that calmly.’

‘It’s the best I can do, my dear. So you don’t love me enough to take that calmly.’

‘If I didn’t love you, I might be calmer about it, Edwin. It’s dreadful to me to think of what they will say in the reviews.’

‘If I didn’t love you, I might be more relaxed about it, Edwin. It’s terrible for me to think about what they’ll say in the reviews.’

‘Curse the reviews!’

‘Damn the reviews!’

His mood had changed on the instant. He stood up with darkened face, trembling angrily.

His mood changed in an instant. He stood up with a scowl, shaking with anger.

‘I want you to promise me something, Amy. You won’t read a single one of the notices unless it is forced upon your attention. Now, promise me that. Neglect them absolutely, as I do. They’re not worth a glance of your eyes. And I shan’t be able to bear it if I know you read all the contempt that will be poured on me.’

‘I want you to promise me something, Amy. You won’t read any of the notices unless you have to. Now, promise me that. Ignore them completely, like I do. They’re not worth your time. And I won’t be able to handle it if I know you read all the hate that will come my way.’

‘I’m sure I shall be glad enough to avoid it; but other people, our friends, read it. That’s the worst.’

‘I’m sure I’ll be happy to avoid it; but other people, our friends, read it. That’s the worst.’

‘You know that their praise would be valueless, so have strength to disregard the blame. Let our friends read and talk as much as they like. Can’t you console yourself with the thought that I am not contemptible, though I may have been forced to do poor work?’

‘You know that their praise wouldn’t mean anything, so have the confidence to ignore the criticism. Let our friends read and talk as much as they want. Can’t you find comfort in the fact that I’m not worthless, even if I’ve been forced to do subpar work?’

‘People don’t look at it in that way.’

‘People don’t see it that way.’

‘But, darling,’ he took her hands strongly in his own, ‘I want you to disregard other people. You and I are surely everything to each other? Are you ashamed of me, of me myself?’

‘But, babe,’ he held her hands firmly in his own, ‘I want you to ignore what other people think. You and I mean everything to each other, right? Are you embarrassed of me, of just me?’

‘No, not ashamed of you. But I am sensitive to people’s talk and opinions.’

‘No, I’m not ashamed of you. But I do care about what people say and think.’

‘But that means they make you feel ashamed of me. What else?’

‘But that makes you feel ashamed of me. What else?’

There was silence.

It was quiet.

‘Edwin, if you find you are unable to do good work, you mustn’t do bad. We must think of some other way of making a living.’

‘Edwin, if you realize you can't do good work, then you shouldn't settle for doing bad work. We need to figure out another way to make a living.’

‘Have you forgotten that you urged me to write a trashy sensational story?’

‘Have you forgotten that you encouraged me to write a cheesy, sensational story?’

She coloured and looked annoyed.

She colored and looked upset.

‘You misunderstood me. A sensational story needn’t be trash. And then, you know, if you had tried something entirely unlike your usual work, that would have been excuse enough if people had called it a failure.’

‘You misunderstood me. A sensational story doesn’t have to be garbage. And then, you know, if you had tried something completely different from your usual work, that would have been reason enough if people labeled it a failure.’

‘People! People!’

“Guys! Guys!”

‘We can’t live in solitude, Edwin, though really we are not far from it.’ He did not dare to make any reply to this. Amy was so exasperatingly womanlike in avoiding the important issue to which he tried to confine her; another moment, and his tone would be that of irritation. So he turned away and sat down to his desk, as if he had some thought of resuming work.

‘We can’t live in solitude, Edwin, even though we’re not that far from it.’ He didn’t dare respond to this. Amy was so frustratingly feminine in dodging the main point he was trying to address; one more moment, and his tone would shift to irritation. So he turned away and sat down at his desk, as if he intended to get back to work.

‘Will you come and have some supper?’ Amy asked, rising.

"Will you come and have some dinner?" Amy asked, getting up.

‘I have been forgetting that to-morrow morning’s chapter has still to be thought out.’

‘I’ve been forgetting that I still need to think about tomorrow morning’s chapter.’

‘Edwin, I can’t think this book will really be so poor. You couldn’t possibly give all this toil for no result.’

‘Edwin, I can’t believe this book is actually going to be so bad. You couldn’t possibly put in all this effort for nothing.’

‘No; not if I were in sound health. But I am far from it.’

‘No; not if I were in good health. But I am far from that.’

‘Come and have supper with me, dear, and think afterwards.’

‘Come and have dinner with me, dear, and think about it later.’

He turned and smiled at her.

He turned and smiled at her.

‘I hope I shall never be able to resist an invitation from you, sweet.’

‘I hope I’ll never be able to turn down an invitation from you, sweet.’

The result of all this was, of course, that he sat down in anything but the right mood to his work next morning. Amy’s anticipation of criticism had made it harder than ever for him to labour at what he knew to be bad. And, as ill-luck would have it, in a day or two he caught his first winter’s cold. For several years a succession of influenzas, sore-throats, lumbagoes, had tormented him from October to May; in planning his present work, and telling himself that it must be finished before Christmas, he had not lost sight of these possible interruptions. But he said to himself: ‘Other men have worked hard in seasons of illness; I must do the same.’ All very well, but Reardon did not belong to the heroic class. A feverish cold now put his powers and resolution to the test. Through one hideous day he nailed himself to the desk—and wrote a quarter of a page. The next day Amy would not let him rise from bed; he was wretchedly ill. In the night he had talked about his work deliriously, causing her no slight alarm.

The result of all this was that he sat down the next morning in anything but the right mood for his work. Amy’s anticipation of criticism made it harder than ever for him to work on what he knew was bad. And, as luck would have it, within a day or two, he caught his first cold of the winter. For several years, he had been tormented by a series of flu, sore throats, and back pain from October to May; while planning his current project and telling himself he needed to finish before Christmas, he hadn't overlooked these possible interruptions. But he told himself, “Other people have worked hard during illness; I must do the same.” That’s all well and good, but Reardon didn’t belong to the heroic type. A miserable cold was now testing his abilities and resolve. He forced himself to sit at the desk for an excruciating day—and managed to write a quarter of a page. The next day, Amy wouldn’t let him get out of bed; he was feeling terribly ill. During the night, he had been deliriously talking about his work, which deeply alarmed her.

‘If this goes on,’ she said to him in the morning, ‘you’ll have brain fever. You must rest for two or three days.’

‘If this keeps up,’ she said to him in the morning, ‘you’re going to end up with brain fever. You need to take two or three days to rest.’

‘Teach me how to. I wish I could.’

‘Show me how to do it. I really want to.’

Rest had indeed become out of the question. For two days he could not write, but the result upon his mind was far worse than if he had been at the desk. He looked a haggard creature when he again sat down with the accustomed blank slip before him.

Rest was definitely off the table. For two days, he couldn't write, but the impact on his mind was much worse than if he had just been at his desk. He looked so worn out when he finally sat down again with the usual blank page in front of him.

The second volume ought to have been much easier work than the first; it proved far harder. Messieurs and mesdames the critics are wont to point out the weakness of second volumes; they are generally right, simply because a story which would have made a tolerable book (the common run of stories) refuses to fill three books. Reardon’s story was in itself weak, and this second volume had to consist almost entirely of laborious padding. If he wrote three slips a day he did well.

The second volume should have been much easier to write than the first; it ended up being much harder. Critics are often quick to point out the shortcomings of second volumes, and they’re usually correct, simply because a story that could make a decent book (the average kind of story) just doesn't stretch to fill three books. Reardon’s story was weak on its own, and this second volume had to be mostly filled with unnecessary padding. If he managed to write three pages a day, that was a good effort.

And the money was melting, melting, despite Amy’s efforts at economy. She spent as little as she could; not a luxury came into their home; articles of clothing all but indispensable were left unpurchased. But to what purpose was all this? Impossible, now, that the book should be finished and sold before the money had all run out.

And the money was disappearing, disappearing, despite Amy’s attempts to save. She spent as little as possible; not a single luxury made its way into their home; even essential clothing items were left unbought. But what was the point of all this? It was impossible now for the book to be finished and sold before the money ran out completely.

At the end of November, Reardon said to his wife one morning:

At the end of November, Reardon said to his wife one morning:

‘To-morrow I finish the second volume.’

‘Tomorrow I finish the second volume.’

‘And in a week,’ she replied, ‘we shan’t have a shilling left.’

‘And in a week,’ she replied, ‘we won't have a penny left.’

He had refrained from making inquiries, and Amy had forborne to tell him the state of things, lest it should bring him to a dead stop in his writing. But now they must needs discuss their position.

He had held back from asking questions, and Amy had chosen not to share the situation with him, fearing it might completely halt his writing. But now they had to talk about their circumstances.

‘In three weeks I can get to the end,’ said Reardon, with unnatural calmness. ‘Then I will go personally to the publishers, and beg them to advance me something on the manuscript before they have read it.’

‘In three weeks, I can get to the end,’ Reardon said, sounding unnaturally calm. ‘Then I will personally go to the publishers and ask them to give me some money on the manuscript before they’ve even read it.’

‘Couldn’t you do that with the first two volumes?’

‘Couldn't you do that with the first two volumes?’

‘No, I can’t; indeed I can’t. The other thing will be bad enough; but to beg on an incomplete book, and such a book—I can’t!’

‘No, I can't; really, I can't. The other situation will be tough enough; but to plead over an unfinished book, and a book like this—I just can't!’

There were drops on his forehead.

There were beads of sweat on his forehead.

‘They would help you if they knew,’ said Amy in a low voice.

“They would help you if they knew,” Amy said softly.

‘Perhaps; I can’t say. They can’t help every poor devil. No; I will sell some books. I can pick out fifty or sixty that I shan’t much miss.’

‘Maybe; I can’t say for sure. They can’t help every struggling person. No; I’ll sell some books. I can choose fifty or sixty that I won’t really miss.’

Amy knew what a wrench this would be. The imminence of distress seemed to have softened her.

Amy realized how difficult this would be. The approaching sadness seemed to have made her more gentle.

‘Edwin, let me take those two volumes to the publishers, and ask—’

‘Edwin, let me take those two books to the publishers and ask—’

‘Heavens! no. That’s impossible. Ten to one you will be told that my work is of such doubtful value that they can’t offer even a guinea till the whole book has been considered. I can’t allow you to go, dearest. This morning I’ll choose some books that I can spare, and after dinner I’ll ask a man to come and look at them. Don’t worry yourself; I can finish in three weeks, I’m sure I can. If I can get you three or four pounds you could make it do, couldn’t you?’

‘Oh no, that’s impossible. You’ll probably be told that my work is so questionable that they can’t even offer a guinea until the whole book has been reviewed. I can’t let you go, my dear. This morning I’ll pick out some books I can let go of, and after dinner, I’ll ask someone to come and take a look at them. Don’t stress; I’m sure I can finish in three weeks. If I can get you three or four pounds, you could manage with that, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘Yeah.’

She averted her face as she spoke.

She turned her face away as she spoke.

‘You shall have that.’ He still spoke very quietly. ‘If the books won’t bring enough, there’s my watch—oh, lots of things.’

‘You can have that.’ He still spoke very softly. ‘If the books don’t sell for enough, I have my watch—oh, plenty of things.’

He turned abruptly away, and Amy went on with her household work.

He turned away abruptly, and Amy continued with her household chores.





CHAPTER X. THE FRIENDS OF THE FAMILY

It was natural that Amy should hint dissatisfaction with the loneliness in which her days were mostly spent. She had never lived in a large circle of acquaintances; the narrowness of her mother’s means restricted the family to intercourse with a few old friends and such new ones as were content with teacup entertainment; but her tastes were social, and the maturing process which followed upon her marriage made her more conscious of this than she had been before. Already she had allowed her husband to understand that one of her strongest motives in marrying him was the belief that he would achieve distinction. At the time she doubtless thought of his coming fame only—or principally—as it concerned their relations to each other; her pride in him was to be one phase of her love. Now she was well aware that no degree of distinction in her husband would be of much value to her unless she had the pleasure of witnessing its effect upon others; she must shine with reflected light before an admiring assembly.

It was only natural for Amy to express her dissatisfaction with the loneliness that filled most of her days. She had never been part of a large social circle; her mother's limited means kept the family interacting mostly with a few old friends and new acquaintances who were fine with casual outings. However, Amy had a social nature, and as she matured after getting married, she became more aware of this than ever before. She had already let her husband know that one of her main reasons for marrying him was her belief that he would achieve greatness. At that time, she likely viewed his future success mainly in relation to them as a couple; her pride in him was just one aspect of her love. Now, she realized that no amount of acclaim her husband received would mean much to her unless she could enjoy seeing its impact on others; she needed to shine in the glow of his success before an admiring crowd.

The more conscious she became of this requirement of her nature, the more clearly did she perceive that her hopes had been founded on an error. Reardon would never be a great man; he would never even occupy a prominent place in the estimation of the public. The two things, Amy knew, might be as different as light and darkness; but in the grief of her disappointment she would rather have had him flare into a worthless popularity than flicker down into total extinction, which it almost seemed was to be his fate.

The more aware she became of this aspect of her nature, the more clearly she realized that her hopes were based on a mistake. Reardon would never be a great man; he would never even hold a significant position in the eyes of the public. Amy understood that the two situations could be as different as day and night; but in her disappointment, she would have preferred him to achieve a meaningless popularity rather than fade into complete obscurity, which seemed to be his inevitable fate.

She knew so well how ‘people’ were talking of him and her. Even her unliterary acquaintances understood that Reardon’s last novel had been anything but successful, and they must of course ask each other how the Reardons were going to live if the business of novel-writing proved unremunerative. Her pride took offence at the mere thought of such conversations. Presently she would become an object of pity; there would be talk of ‘poor Mrs Reardon.’ It was intolerable.

She was fully aware of how ‘people’ were talking about him and her. Even her non-literary friends understood that Reardon’s last novel hadn’t been successful, and they had to wonder how the Reardons were going to survive if writing novels didn’t pay off. The thought of such conversations offended her pride. Soon she would become a subject of pity; there would be discussions about ‘poor Mrs. Reardon.’ It was unbearable.

So during the last half year she had withheld as much as possible from the intercourse which might have been one of her chief pleasures. And to disguise the true cause she made pretences which were a satire upon her state of mind—alleging that she had devoted herself to a serious course of studies, that the care of house and child occupied all the time she could spare from her intellectual pursuits. The worst of it was, she had little faith in the efficacy of these fictions; in uttering them she felt an unpleasant warmth upon her cheeks, and it was not difficult to detect a look of doubt in the eyes of the listener. She grew angry with herself for being dishonest, and with her husband for making such dishonesty needful.

So during the last six months, she had kept as much as possible from the interactions that could have been some of her greatest joys. To hide the real reason, she made up excuses that were a mockery of her mental state—claiming that she had dedicated herself to serious study and that taking care of the house and child took up all the time she could spare from her intellectual pursuits. The worst part was, she had little belief in the power of these lies; as she said them, she felt an uncomfortable heat on her cheeks, and it was easy to see doubt in the listener's eyes. She became frustrated with herself for being dishonest and with her husband for making such dishonesty necessary.

The female friend with whom she had most trouble was Mrs Carter. You remember that on the occasion of Reardon’s first meeting with his future wife, at the Grosvenor Gallery, there were present his friend Carter and a young lady who was shortly to bear the name of that spirited young man. The Carters had now been married about a year; they lived in Bayswater, and saw much of a certain world which imitates on a lower plane the amusements and affectations of society proper. Mr Carter was still secretary to the hospital where Reardon had once earned his twenty shillings a week, but by voyaging in the seas of charitable enterprise he had come upon supplementary sources of income; for instance, he held the post of secretary to the Barclay Trust, a charity whose moderate funds were largely devoted to the support of gentlemen engaged in administering it. This young man, with his air of pleasing vivacity, had early ingratiated himself with the kind of people who were likely to be of use to him; he had his reward in the shape of offices which are only procured through private influence. His wife was a good-natured, lively, and rather clever girl; she had a genuine regard for Amy, and much respect for Reardon. Her ambition was to form a circle of distinctly intellectual acquaintances, and she was constantly inviting the Reardons to her house; a real live novelist is not easily drawn into the world where Mrs Carter had her being, and it annoyed her that all attempts to secure Amy and her husband for five-o’clock teas and small parties had of late failed.

The female friend she had the most issues with was Mrs. Carter. You remember that when Reardon first met his future wife at the Grosvenor Gallery, his friend Carter was there along with a young lady who would soon take on the spirited guy's last name. The Carters had been married for about a year now; they lived in Bayswater and mingled with a certain crowd that mirrors the entertainments and pretensions of high society on a smaller scale. Mr. Carter was still the secretary at the hospital where Reardon used to make twenty shillings a week, but by diving into charitable ventures, he had found some extra sources of income; for example, he was the secretary for the Barclay Trust, a charity whose modest funds mainly went towards supporting gentlemen running it. This young man, with his charming energy, had quickly made himself liked by people who could potentially help him; he was rewarded with positions that could only be obtained through personal connections. His wife was a friendly, lively, and somewhat clever girl; she genuinely cared for Amy and held Reardon in high regard. Her goal was to create a circle of clearly intellectual friends, and she constantly invited the Reardons over; an actual novelist is hard to pull into the social scene where Mrs. Carter existed, and it frustrated her that all her attempts to get Amy and her husband to attend afternoon teas and small gatherings had recently been unsuccessful.

On the afternoon when Reardon had visited a second-hand bookseller with a view of raising money—he was again shut up in his study, dolorously at work—Amy was disturbed by the sound of a visitor’s rat-tat; the little servant went to the door, and returned followed by Mrs Carter.

On the afternoon when Reardon went to a second-hand bookstore to try to make some money—he was once again locked away in his study, seriously focused on his work—Amy was interrupted by the sound of someone knocking. The young servant went to the door and came back with Mrs. Carter behind her.

Under the best of circumstances it was awkward to receive any but intimate friends during the hours when Reardon sat at his desk. The little dining-room (with its screen to conceal the kitchen range) offered nothing more than homely comfort; and then the servant had to be disposed of by sending her into the bedroom to take care of Willie. Privacy, in the strict sense, was impossible, for the servant might listen at the door (one room led out of the other) to all the conversation that went on; yet Amy could not request her visitors to speak in a low tone. For the first year these difficulties had not been felt; Reardon made a point of leaving the front room at his wife’s disposal from three to six; it was only when dread of the future began to press upon him that he sat in the study all day long. You see how complicated were the miseries of the situation; one torment involved another, and in every quarter subjects of discontent were multiplied.

Under the best circumstances, it was uncomfortable to host anyone but close friends when Reardon was at his desk. The small dining room (with its screen to hide the kitchen range) provided nothing more than simple comfort; and then there was the need to send the servant into the bedroom to look after Willie. True privacy was impossible because the servant could listen at the door (one room led directly into the other) to everything that was said; yet Amy couldn't ask her guests to speak quietly. For the first year, these challenges weren’t really an issue; Reardon made sure to leave the front room free for his wife from three to six. It was only when worries about the future started to weigh on him that he stayed in the study all day long. You can see how complicated the miseries of the situation were; one problem led to another, and everywhere there were more reasons for discontent.

Mrs Carter would have taken it ill had she known that Amy did not regard her as strictly an intimate. They addressed each other by their Christian names, and conversed without ceremony; but Amy was always dissatisfied when the well-dressed young woman burst with laughter and animated talk into this abode of concealed poverty. Edith was not the kind of person with whom one can quarrel; she had a kind heart, and was never disagreeably pretentious. Had circumstances allowed it, Amy would have given frank welcome to such friendship; she would have been glad to accept as many invitations as Edith chose to offer. But at present it did her harm to come in contact with Mrs Carter; it made her envious, cold to her husband, resentful against fate.

Mrs. Carter would have been upset if she knew that Amy didn’t see her as a true friend. They called each other by their first names and chatted freely, but Amy always felt uncomfortable when the stylish young woman burst into her home, full of laughter and lively conversation, highlighting the hidden struggles of her own life. Edith was not the type of person you could argue with; she had a good heart and was never obnoxiously pretentious. If things had been different, Amy would have gladly welcomed that friendship and accepted as many invitations as Edith wanted to extend. But right now, being around Mrs. Carter made Amy feel worse; it filled her with envy, made her distant towards her husband, and left her feeling resentful towards her circumstances.

‘Why can’t she leave me alone?’ was the thought that rose in her mind as Edith entered. ‘I shall let her see that I don’t want her here.’

‘Why can’t she just leave me alone?’ was the thought that came to her mind as Edith entered. ‘I’ll make it clear that I don’t want her here.’

‘Your husband at work?’ Edith asked, with a glance in the direction of the study, as soon as they had exchanged kisses and greetings.

‘Is your husband at work?’ Edith asked, glancing toward the study right after they exchanged kisses and greetings.

‘Yes, he is busy.’

"Yeah, he's busy."

‘And you are sitting alone, as usual. I feared you might be out; an afternoon of sunshine isn’t to be neglected at this time of year.’

‘And you’re sitting alone, as usual. I was worried you might be out; you can’t ignore a sunny afternoon at this time of year.’

‘Is there sunshine?’ Amy inquired coldly.

‘Is there any sunshine?’ Amy asked coldly.

‘Why, look! Do you mean to say you haven’t noticed it? What a comical person you are sometimes! I suppose you have been over head and ears in books all day. How is Willie?’

‘Why, look! You really haven't noticed it? You're such a funny person sometimes! I guess you've been buried in books all day. How's Willie?’

‘Very well, thank you.’

"All good, thanks."

‘Mayn’t I see him?’

‘Can’t I see him?’

‘If you like.’

"Sure, if that's what you want."

Amy stepped to the bedroom door and bade the servant bring Willie for exhibition. Edith, who as yet had no child of her own, always showed the most flattering admiration of this infant; it was so manifestly sincere that the mother could not but be moved to a grateful friendliness whenever she listened to its expression. Even this afternoon the usual effect followed when Edith had made a pretty and tender fool of herself for several minutes. Amy bade the servant make tea.

Amy walked over to the bedroom door and asked the servant to bring Willie to show him off. Edith, who didn’t have a child of her own yet, always expressed genuine admiration for the baby; it was so obviously heartfelt that the mother couldn't help but feel a wave of grateful warmth whenever she heard her praise. Even this afternoon, the usual reaction happened after Edith had gushed over the baby in a sweet and silly way for several minutes. Amy told the servant to make some tea.

At this moment the door from the passage opened, and Reardon looked in.

At that moment, the door from the hallway opened, and Reardon glanced in.

‘Well, if this isn’t marvellous!’ cried Edith. ‘I should as soon have expected the heavens to fall!’

‘Well, isn’t this amazing!’ shouted Edith. ‘I would have been just as likely to expect the sky to fall!’

‘As what?’ asked Reardon, with a pale smile.

‘As what?’ Reardon asked, smiling faintly.

‘As you to show yourself when I am here.’

‘As you show yourself when I am here.’

‘I should like to say that I came on purpose to see you, Mrs Carter, but it wouldn’t be true. I’m going out for an hour, so that you can take possession of the other room if you like, Amy.’

‘I want to say that I came specifically to see you, Mrs. Carter, but that wouldn’t be true. I’m stepping out for an hour, so you can take the other room if you want, Amy.’

‘Going out?’ said Amy, with a look of surprise.

“Going out?” Amy asked, looking surprised.

‘Nothing—nothing. I mustn’t stay.’

“Nothing—nothing. I can’t stay.”

He just inquired of Mrs Carter how her husband was, and withdrew. The door of the flat was heard to close after him.

He just asked Mrs. Carter how her husband was doing and then left. The sound of the flat's door closing could be heard after him.

‘Let us go into the study, then,’ said Amy, again in rather a cold voice.

‘Let’s go into the study, then,’ Amy said again, in a somewhat cold tone.

On Reardon’s desk were lying slips of blank paper. Edith, approaching on tiptoe with what was partly make believe, partly genuine, awe, looked at the literary apparatus, then turned with a laugh to her friend.

On Reardon’s desk were slips of blank paper. Edith, tiptoeing with a mix of pretend and real awe, looked at the writing tools, then turned to her friend with a laugh.

‘How delightful it must be to sit down and write about people one has invented! Ever since I have known you and Mr Reardon I have been tempted to try if I couldn’t write a story.’

‘How wonderful it must be to sit down and write about people you've created! Ever since I've known you and Mr. Reardon, I've been tempted to see if I could write a story.’

‘Have you?’

"Have you?"

‘And I’m sure I don’t know how you can resist the temptation. I feel sure you could write books almost as clever as your husband’s.’

‘And I really don’t know how you can resist that temptation. I’m confident you could write books that are nearly as clever as your husband’s.’

‘I have no intention of trying.’

"I don't plan to try."

‘You don’t seem very well to-day, Amy.’

‘You don’t seem very well today, Amy.’

‘Oh, I think I am as well as usual.’

‘Oh, I think I'm doing as well as usual.’

She guessed that her husband was once more brought to a standstill, and this darkened her humour again.

She figured her husband was stuck again, and this brought her mood down once more.

‘One of my reasons for coming,’ said Edith, ‘was to beg and entreat and implore you and Mr Reardon to dine with us next Wednesday. Now, don’t put on such a severe face! Are you engaged that evening?’

‘One of the reasons I came,’ said Edith, ‘was to ask you and Mr. Reardon to have dinner with us next Wednesday. Now, don’t look so stern! Are you busy that evening?’

‘Yes; in the ordinary way. Edwin can’t possibly leave his work.’

‘Yes; normally. Edwin definitely can’t leave his work.’

‘But for one poor evening! It’s such ages since we saw you.’

‘But for just one sad evening! It’s been forever since we’ve seen you.’

‘I’m very sorry. I don’t think we shall ever be able to accept invitations in future.’

‘I’m really sorry. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to accept invitations in the future.’

Amy spoke thus at the prompting of a sudden impulse. A minute ago, no such definite declaration was in her mind.

Amy spoke like this on a sudden impulse. Just a minute ago, she hadn't thought about making such a clear statement.

‘Never?’ exclaimed Edith. ‘But why? Whatever do you mean?’

‘Never?’ exclaimed Edith. ‘But why? What do you mean?’

‘We find that social engagements consume too much time,’ Amy replied, her explanation just as much of an impromptu as the announcement had been. ‘You see, one must either belong to society or not. Married people can’t accept an occasional invitation from friends and never do their social duty in return.

‘We find that social engagements take up too much time,’ Amy replied, her explanation just as spontaneous as the announcement had been. ‘You see, one must either be part of society or not. Married people can’t just accept an occasional invitation from friends and then never fulfill their social obligations in return.

We have decided to withdraw altogether—at all events for the present. I shall see no one except my relatives.’

We have decided to completely withdraw—for now, at least. I won’t see anyone except my family.

Edith listened with a face of astonishment.

Edith listened in disbelief.

‘You won’t even see ME?’ she exclaimed.

‘You won’t even see ME?’ she exclaimed.

‘Indeed, I have no wish to lose your friendship. Yet I am ashamed to ask you to come here when I can never return your visits.’

‘Honestly, I don't want to lose your friendship. But I'm embarrassed to ask you to come here when I can never return the favor.’

‘Oh, please don’t put it in that way! But it seems so very strange.’

‘Oh, please don’t say it like that! But it sounds so odd.’

Edith could not help conjecturing the true significance of this resolve. But, as is commonly the case with people in easy circumstances, she found it hard to believe that her friends were so straitened as to have a difficulty in supporting the ordinary obligations of a civilised state.

Edith couldn't help but wonder about the real significance of this decision. But, as is often the case with people in comfortable circumstances, she found it hard to believe that her friends were struggling to meet the everyday responsibilities of a civilized society.

‘I know how precious your husband’s time is,’ she added, as if to remove the effect of her last remark. ‘Surely, there’s no harm in my saying—we know each other well enough—you wouldn’t think it necessary to devote an evening to entertaining us just because you had given us the pleasure of your company. I put it very stupidly, but I’m sure you understand me, Amy. Don’t refuse just to come to our house now and then.’

‘I know how valuable your husband’s time is,’ she added, as if to soften the impact of her last comment. ‘Surely, it’s okay for me to say—we know each other well enough—you wouldn’t feel it’s necessary to spend an evening entertaining us just because you’ve graced us with your presence. I’m not expressing this very well, but I’m sure you understand me, Amy. Please don’t hesitate to come to our house now and then.’

‘I’m afraid we shall have to be consistent, Edith.’

‘I’m afraid we’ll have to be consistent, Edith.’

‘But do you think this is a WISE thing to do?’

‘But do you think this is a SMART thing to do?’

‘Wise?’

“Smart?”

‘You know what you once told me, about how necessary it was for a novelist to study all sorts of people. How can Mr Reardon do this if he shuts himself up in the house? I should have thought he would find it necessary to make new acquaintances.’

‘You remember what you once told me about how important it is for a novelist to study all kinds of people. How can Mr. Reardon do that if he locks himself away at home? I would have thought he’d need to meet new people.’

‘As I said,’ returned Amy, ‘it won’t be always like this. For the present, Edwin has quite enough “material.”’

‘As I said,’ Amy replied, ‘it won’t always be like this. For now, Edwin has more than enough “material.”’

She spoke distantly; it irritated her to have to invent excuses for the sacrifice she had just imposed on herself. Edith sipped the tea which had been offered her, and for a minute kept silence.

She spoke vaguely; it annoyed her to come up with excuses for the sacrifice she had just made. Edith sipped the tea that had been offered to her and stayed silent for a moment.

‘When will Mr Reardon’s next book be published?’ she asked at length.

‘When is Mr. Reardon’s next book coming out?’ she asked after a while.

‘I’m sure I don’t know. Not before the spring.’

‘I honestly have no idea. Not until the spring.’

‘I shall look so anxiously for it. Whenever I meet new people I always turn the conversation to novels, just for the sake of asking them if they know your husband’s books.’

‘I will look for it so eagerly. Whenever I meet new people, I always steer the conversation towards novels, just to ask them if they know your husband’s books.’

She laughed merrily.

She laughed happily.

‘Which is seldom the case, I should think,’ said Amy, with a smile of indifference.

‘That’s not usually the case, I think,’ said Amy, with a smile of indifference.

‘Well, my dear, you don’t expect ordinary novel-readers to know about Mr Reardon. I wish my acquaintances were a better kind of people; then, of course, I should hear of his books more often. But one has to make the best of such society as offers. If you and your husband forsake me, I shall feel it a sad loss; I shall indeed.’

‘Well, my dear, you can’t expect regular novel readers to know about Mr. Reardon. I wish my friends were a better crowd; then, of course, I’d hear about his books more often. But you have to make the best of the company you find. If you and your husband decide to leave me, I’ll genuinely feel it’s a big loss; I really will.’

Amy gave a quick glance at the speaker’s face.

Amy glanced quickly at the speaker’s face.

‘Oh, we must be friends just the same,’ she said, more naturally than she had spoken hitherto. ‘But don’t ask us to come and dine just now. All through this winter we shall be very busy, both of us. Indeed, we have decided not to accept any invitations at all.’

‘Oh, we have to be friends regardless,’ she said, more naturally than she had spoken before. ‘But don’t ask us to come over for dinner right now. We’ll be really busy this winter, both of us. In fact, we’ve decided not to accept any invitations at all.’

‘Then, so long as you let me come here now and then, I must give in. I promise not to trouble you with any more complaining. But how you can live such a life I don’t know. I consider myself more of a reader than women generally are, and I should be mortally offended if anyone called me frivolous; but I must have a good deal of society. Really and truly, I can’t live without it.’

‘Then, as long as you let me come here every once in a while, I’ll have to give in. I promise not to bother you with any more complaints. But I really don’t understand how you can live like this. I see myself as more of a reader than most women are, and I’d be seriously offended if anyone called me frivolous; but I need a lot of social interaction. Honestly, I can’t live without it.’

‘No?’ said Amy, with a smile which meant more than Edith could interpret. It seemed slightly condescending.

‘No?’ Amy said, smiling in a way that meant more than Edith could understand. It felt a bit condescending.

‘There’s no knowing; perhaps if I had married a literary man—-’ She paused, smiling and musing. ‘But then I haven’t, you see.’ She laughed. ‘Albert is anything but a bookworm, as you know.’

‘There’s no way to tell; maybe if I had married a writer—’ She paused, smiling and thinking. ‘But I didn’t, you see.’ She laughed. ‘Albert is definitely not a bookworm, as you know.’

‘You wouldn’t wish him to be.’

‘You wouldn’t want him to be.’

‘Oh no! Not a bookworm. To be sure, we suit each other very well indeed. He likes society just as much as I do. It would be the death of him if he didn’t spend three-quarters of every day with lively people.’

‘Oh no! Not a bookworm. For sure, we’re a perfect match. He enjoys being social just as much as I do. It would be the end for him if he didn’t spend most of his day with energetic people.’

‘That’s rather a large portion. But then you count yourself among the lively ones.’

‘That’s quite a big portion. But then you consider yourself one of the lively ones.’

They exchanged looks, and laughed together.

They shared glances and laughed together.

‘Of course you think me rather silly to want to talk so much with silly people,’ Edith went on. ‘But then there’s generally some amusement to be got, you know. I don’t take life quite so seriously as you do. People are people, after all; it’s good fun to see how they live and hear how they talk.’

‘Of course you think I'm kind of silly for wanting to chat so much with silly people,’ Edith continued. ‘But there’s usually some entertainment in it, you know. I don’t take life as seriously as you do. People are just people, after all; it’s a good time to see how they live and hear what they say.’

Amy felt that she was playing a sorry part. She thought of sour grapes, and of the fox who had lost his tail. Worst of all, perhaps Edith suspected the truth. She began to make inquiries about common acquaintances, and fell into an easier current of gossip.

Amy felt like she was in a pretty sorry situation. She thought about sour grapes and the fox who lost his tail. Worst of all, maybe Edith suspected the truth. She started asking questions about mutual friends and got caught up in a smoother flow of gossip.

A quarter of an hour after the visitor’s departure Reardon came back. Amy had guessed aright; the necessity of selling his books weighed upon him so that for the present he could do nothing. The evening was spent gloomily, with very little conversation.

A quarter of an hour after the visitor left, Reardon returned. Amy had been right; the pressure to sell his books weighed on him so heavily that he couldn't focus on anything else. The evening was spent in a gloomy silence, with hardly any conversation.

Next day came the bookseller to make his inspection. Reardon had chosen out and ranged upon a table nearly a hundred volumes. With a few exceptions, they had been purchased second-hand. The tradesman examined them rapidly.

Next day, the bookseller arrived to inspect the selection. Reardon had picked and arranged almost a hundred books on a table. With a few exceptions, they were all second-hand. The seller quickly reviewed them.

‘What do you ask?’ he inquired, putting his head aside.

‘What are you asking?’ he asked, tilting his head.

‘I prefer that you should make an offer,’ Reardon replied, with the helplessness of one who lives remote from traffic.

‘I’d rather you make an offer,’ Reardon said, feeling helpless like someone who lives far from the hustle and bustle.

‘I can’t say more than two pounds ten.’

‘I can’t say more than two pounds ten.’

‘That is at the rate of sixpence a volume—-?’

‘That is at the rate of six pence a volume—-?’

‘To me that’s about the average value of books like these.’

'For me, that's roughly the typical value of books like these.'

Perhaps the offer was a fair one; perhaps it was not. Reardon had neither time nor spirit to test the possibilities of the market; he was ashamed to betray his need by higgling.

Perhaps the offer was a fair one; perhaps it wasn’t. Reardon didn’t have the time or energy to explore the market options; he felt embarrassed to show his need by negotiating.

‘I’ll take it,’ he said, in a matter-of-fact voice.

‘I’ll take it,’ he said, in a straightforward tone.

A messenger was sent for the books that afternoon. He stowed them skilfully in two bags, and carried them downstairs to a cart that was waiting.

A messenger was sent for the books that afternoon. He packed them neatly into two bags and carried them downstairs to a cart that was waiting.

Reardon looked at the gaps left on his shelves. Many of those vanished volumes were dear old friends to him; he could have told you where he had picked them up and when; to open them recalled a past moment of intellectual growth, a mood of hope or despondency, a stage of struggle. In most of them his name was written, and there were often pencilled notes in the margin. Of course he had chosen from among the most valuable he possessed; such a multitude must else have been sold to make this sum of two pounds ten. Books are cheap, you know. At need, one can buy a Homer for fourpence, a Sophocles for sixpence. It was not rubbish that he had accumulated at so small expenditure, but the library of a poor student—battered bindings, stained pages, supplanted editions. He loved his books, but there was something he loved more, and when Amy glanced at him with eyes of sympathy he broke into a cheerful laugh.

Reardon looked at the empty spaces on his shelves. Many of those missing books were old friends to him; he could tell you where and when he had found each one. Opening them brought back memories of personal growth, moments of hope or sadness, and times of struggle. Most of them had his name written inside, often with pencil notes in the margins. He had chosen from among the most valuable ones he owned; otherwise, he would have had to sell many more to raise the two pounds ten. Books are inexpensive, after all. You can buy a Homer for just fourpence and a Sophocles for sixpence. It wasn't junk he had collected for such a small amount, but the library of a struggling student—worn bindings, stained pages, outdated editions. He loved his books, but there was something he loved even more, and when Amy looked at him with sympathetic eyes, he broke into a cheerful laugh.

‘I’m only sorry they have gone for so little. Tell me when the money is nearly at an end again, and you shall have more. It’s all right; the novel will be done soon.’

‘I’m just sorry they’ve left with so little. Let me know when the money is almost gone again, and I'll get you more. Everything's fine; the novel will be finished soon.’

And that night he worked until twelve o’clock, doggedly, fiercely.

And that night he worked until midnight, relentlessly and passionately.

The next day was Sunday. As a rule he made it a day of rest, and almost perforce, for the depressing influence of Sunday in London made work too difficult. Then, it was the day on which he either went to see his own particular friends or was visited by them.

The next day was Sunday. Typically, he treated it as a day of rest, and almost had to, because the dreary atmosphere of Sunday in London made work too tough. It was also the day when he either went to see his friends or had them come visit him.

‘Do you expect anyone this evening?’ Amy inquired.

‘Are you expecting anyone this evening?’ Amy asked.

‘Biffen will look in, I dare say. Perhaps Milvain.’

‘Biffen will probably drop by, I bet. Maybe Milvain too.’

‘I think I shall take Willie to mother’s. I shall be back before eight.’

‘I think I’ll take Willie to Mom’s. I’ll be back before eight.’

‘Amy, don’t say anything about the books.’

“Amy, don’t talk about the books.”

‘No, no.’

‘No way.’

‘I suppose they always ask you when we think of removing over the way?’

‘I guess they always ask you when we consider moving across the street?’

He pointed in a direction that suggested Marylebone Workhouse. Amy tried to laugh, but a woman with a child in her arms has no keen relish for such jokes.

He pointed in a direction that seemed to indicate Marylebone Workhouse. Amy attempted to laugh, but a woman holding a child in her arms doesn't really find such jokes funny.

‘I don’t talk to them about our affairs,’ she said.

‘I don’t talk to them about our issues,’ she said.

‘That’s best.’

“That's the best.”

She left home about three o’clock, the servant going with her to carry the child.

She left home around three o’clock, and the servant went with her to carry the child.

At five a familiar knock sounded through the flat; it was a heavy rap followed by half-a-dozen light ones, like a reverberating echo, the last stroke scarcely audible. Reardon laid down his book, but kept his pipe in his mouth, and went to the door. A tall, thin man stood there, with a slouch hat and long grey overcoat. He shook hands silently, hung his hat in the passage, and came forward into the study.

At five, a familiar knock echoed through the apartment; it was a strong knock followed by half a dozen lighter taps, like a resonating echo, with the last one barely audible. Reardon put down his book but kept his pipe in his mouth and walked to the door. A tall, thin man was standing there, wearing a slouch hat and a long gray overcoat. He shook hands silently, hung his hat in the hallway, and stepped into the study.

His name was Harold Biffen, and, to judge from his appearance, he did not belong to the race of common mortals. His excessive meagreness would all but have qualified him to enter an exhibition in the capacity of living skeleton, and the garments which hung upon this framework would perhaps have sold for three-and-sixpence at an old-clothes dealer’s. But the man was superior to these accidents of flesh and raiment. He had a fine face: large, gentle eyes, nose slightly aquiline, small and delicate mouth. Thick black hair fell to his coat-collar; he wore a heavy moustache and a full beard. In his gait there was a singular dignity; only a man of cultivated mind and graceful character could move and stand as he did.

His name was Harold Biffen, and judging by his appearance, he didn't seem like an ordinary person. His extreme thinness could have easily allowed him to be showcased as a living skeleton, and the clothes that hung on his frame might have only fetched a few shillings at a secondhand shop. But he was more than just these physical attributes. He had a striking face: large, kind eyes, a slightly hooked nose, and a small, delicate mouth. His thick black hair reached down to his coat collar, and he sported a heavy mustache and a full beard. His movements had a unique dignity; only someone with a refined mind and graceful character could walk and stand the way he did.

His first act on entering the room was to take from his pocket a pipe, a pouch, a little tobacco-stopper, and a box of matches, all of which he arranged carefully on a corner of the central table. Then he drew forward a chair and seated himself.

His first action upon entering the room was to pull out a pipe, a pouch, a small tobacco tamper, and a box of matches from his pocket, all of which he neatly arranged on the corner of the central table. Then, he pulled up a chair and sat down.

‘Take your top-coat off;’ said Reardon.

“Take off your coat,” said Reardon.

‘Thanks, not this evening.’

"Thanks, not tonight."

‘Why the deuce not?’

‘Why not?’

‘Not this evening, thanks.’

"Not tonight, thanks."

The reason, as soon as Reardon sought for it, was obvious. Biffen had no ordinary coat beneath the other. To have referred to this fact would have been indelicate; the novelist of course understood it, and smiled, but with no mirth.

The reason, as soon as Reardon looked for it, was clear. Biffen didn’t have an ordinary coat under the other one. Mentioning this would have been awkward; the novelist certainly got it and smiled, but without any real joy.

‘Let me have your Sophocles,’ were the visitor’s next words.

‘Let me have your Sophocles,’ the visitor said next.

Reardon offered him a volume of the Oxford Pocket Classics.

Reardon gave him a copy of the Oxford Pocket Classics.

‘I prefer the Wunder, please.’

"I'll take the Wonder, please."

‘It’s gone, my boy.’

"It's gone, kid."

‘Gone?’

"Is it gone?"

‘Wanted a little cash.’

"Needed some cash."

Biffen uttered a sound in which remonstrance and sympathy were blended.

Biffen made a sound that mixed both protest and compassion.

‘I’m sorry to hear that; very sorry. Well, this must do. Now, I want to know how you scan this chorus in the “Oedipus Rex.”’

‘I’m sorry to hear that; really sorry. Well, this will have to do. Now, I want to know how you interpret this chorus in “Oedipus Rex.”’

Reardon took the volume, considered, and began to read aloud with metric emphasis.

Reardon picked up the book, thought for a moment, and started to read aloud with a rhythmic emphasis.

‘Choriambics, eh?’ cried the other. ‘Possible, of course; but treat them as Ionics a minore with an anacrusis, and see if they don’t go better.’

‘Choriambics, huh?’ the other exclaimed. ‘Sure, that's possible; but consider them as Ionics a minore with an anacrusis, and see if they don’t work better.’

He involved himself in terms of pedantry, and with such delight that his eyes gleamed. Having delivered a technical lecture, he began to read in illustration, producing quite a different effect from that of the rhythm as given by his friend. And the reading was by no means that of a pedant, rather of a poet.

He got really into the details and was so enthusiastic that his eyes sparkled. After giving a technical lecture, he started to read as a way to illustrate his point, creating an effect that was very different from the rhythm his friend had shown. And his reading wasn't pedantic at all; it was more like that of a poet.

For half an hour the two men talked Greek metres as if they lived in a world where the only hunger known could be satisfied by grand or sweet cadences.

For half an hour, the two men discussed Greek meters as if they lived in a world where the only hunger that existed could be fulfilled by grand or sweet rhythms.

They had first met in an amusing way. Not long after the publication of his book ‘On Neutral Ground’ Reardon was spending a week at Hastings. A rainy day drove him to the circulating library, and as he was looking along the shelves for something readable a voice near at hand asked the attendant if he had anything ‘by Edwin Reardon.’ The novelist turned in astonishment; that any casual mortal should inquire for his books seemed incredible. Of course there was nothing by that author in the library, and he who had asked the question walked out again. On the morrow Reardon encountered this same man at a lonely part of the shore; he looked at him, and spoke a word or two of common civility; they got into conversation, with the result that Edwin told the story of yesterday. The stranger introduced himself as Harold Biffen, an author in a small way, and a teacher whenever he could get pupils; an abusive review had interested him in Reardon’s novels, but as yet he knew nothing of them but the names.

They first met in a funny way. Not long after his book 'On Neutral Ground' was published, Reardon was spending a week at Hastings. A rainy day led him to the library, and while he was browsing the shelves for something to read, he heard a voice nearby asking the librarian if they had anything "by Edwin Reardon." The novelist turned in shock; it was hard to believe that someone would be looking for his books. There was, of course, nothing by that author in the library, and the person who had asked the question walked out again. The next day, Reardon ran into this same man at a quiet spot on the beach; he looked at him and exchanged a few polite words. They struck up a conversation, and Edwin shared the story from the day before. The stranger introduced himself as Harold Biffen, a minor author and a teacher whenever he could find students; an unfavorable review had piqued his interest in Reardon's novels, but up to that point, he only knew them by name.

Their tastes were found to be in many respects sympathetic, and after returning to London they saw each other frequently. Biffen was always in dire poverty, and lived in the oddest places; he had seen harder trials than even Reardon himself. The teaching by which he partly lived was of a kind quite unknown to the respectable tutorial world. In these days of examinations, numbers of men in a poor position—clerks chiefly—conceive a hope that by ‘passing’ this, that, or the other formal test they may open for themselves a new career. Not a few such persons nourish preposterous ambitions; there are warehouse clerks privately preparing (without any means or prospect of them) for a call to the Bar, drapers’ assistants who ‘go in’ for the preliminary examination of the College of Surgeons, and untaught men innumerable who desire to procure enough show of education to be eligible for a curacy. Candidates of this stamp frequently advertise in the newspapers for cheap tuition, or answer advertisements which are intended to appeal to them; they pay from sixpence to half-a-crown an hour—rarely as much as the latter sum. Occasionally it happened that Harold Biffen had three or four such pupils in hand, and extraordinary stories he could draw from his large experience in this sphere.

Their tastes turned out to be quite similar, and after getting back to London, they met up often. Biffen was always struggling with money and lived in the strangest places; he had faced tougher challenges than even Reardon. The teaching he did to make a living was something completely unknown to the respectable tutoring world. These days, with all the exams, many people in tough financial situations—mostly clerks—hope that by ‘passing’ various formal tests, they can start a new career. Quite a few of these individuals have ridiculous ambitions; there are warehouse clerks secretly preparing (without any means or prospects) to be called to the Bar, drapers’ assistants who are studying for the preliminary exam at the College of Surgeons, and countless uneducated men wanting to show enough education to qualify for a curacy. Candidates like these often advertise in newspapers for affordable tutoring or respond to ads aimed at them; they typically pay from sixpence to two and six an hour—rarely the latter amount. Sometimes, Harold Biffen would have three or four of such students at a time, and he could share incredible stories from his extensive experience in this field.

Then as to his authorship.—But shortly after the discussion of Greek metres he fell upon the subject of his literary projects, and, by no means for the first time, developed the theory on which he worked.

Then regarding his authorship.—But shortly after discussing Greek metres, he shifted to the topic of his literary projects and, definitely not for the first time, explained the theory he was working on.

‘I have thought of a new way of putting it. What I really aim at is an absolute realism in the sphere of the ignobly decent. The field, as I understand it, is a new one; I don’t know any writer who has treated ordinary vulgar life with fidelity and seriousness. Zola writes deliberate tragedies; his vilest figures become heroic from the place they fill in a strongly imagined drama. I want to deal with the essentially unheroic, with the day-to-day life of that vast majority of people who are at the mercy of paltry circumstance. Dickens understood the possibility of such work, but his tendency to melodrama on the one hand, and his humour on the other, prevented him from thinking of it. An instance, now. As I came along by Regent’s Park half an hour ago a man and a girl were walking close in front of me, love-making; I passed them slowly and heard a good deal of their talk—it was part of the situation that they should pay no heed to a stranger’s proximity. Now, such a love-scene as that has absolutely never been written down; it was entirely decent, yet vulgar to the nth power. Dickens would have made it ludicrous—a gross injustice. Other men who deal with low-class life would perhaps have preferred idealising it—an absurdity. For my own part, I am going to reproduce it verbatim, without one single impertinent suggestion of any point of view save that of honest reporting. The result will be something unutterably tedious. Precisely. That is the stamp of the ignobly decent life. If it were anything but tedious it would be untrue. I speak, of course, of its effect upon the ordinary reader.’

‘I’ve thought of a new way to express this. What I really aim for is complete realism in the realm of the unremarkably decent. The area I’m focusing on, as I see it, is new; I don’t know any writer who has portrayed everyday vulgar life with accuracy and seriousness. Zola writes intentional tragedies; his lowest characters become heroic due to their roles in a vividly imagined drama. I want to address the fundamentally unheroic, the daily lives of the vast majority of people who are at the mercy of trivial circumstances. Dickens recognized the potential for such work, but his tendency toward melodrama on one side and humor on the other kept him from considering it. For example, just half an hour ago, as I walked by Regent’s Park, a man and a girl were walking right in front of me, flirting; I passed them slowly and caught a lot of their conversation—it was a given that they would ignore a stranger nearby. Such a love scene has absolutely never been documented; it was entirely decent, yet vulgar beyond measure. Dickens would have made it ridiculous—a severe injustice. Other writers who tackle lower-class life might have chosen to idealize it—an absurdity. As for me, I’m going to reproduce it exactly as it is, without a single inappropriate suggestion of any perspective except that of honest reporting. The result will be something incredibly dull. Exactly. That’s the hallmark of unremarkably decent life. If it were anything but dull, it would be untrue. I’m referring, of course, to its impact on the average reader.’

‘I couldn’t do it,’ said Reardon.

‘I couldn’t do it,’ Reardon said.

‘Certainly you couldn’t. You—well, you are a psychological realist in the sphere of culture. You are impatient of vulgar circumstances.’

‘Of course you couldn’t. You—well, you are a psychological realist in the realm of culture. You can't stand crass situations.’

‘In a great measure because my life has been martyred by them.’

‘To a large extent because my life has been tormented by them.’

‘And for that very same reason I delight in them,’ cried Biffen. ‘You are repelled by what has injured you; I am attracted by it. This divergence is very interesting; but for that, we should have resembled each other so closely. You know that by temper we are rabid idealists, both of us.’

‘And for that very reason, I find joy in them,’ shouted Biffen. ‘You are put off by what has hurt you; I am drawn to it. This difference is really fascinating; otherwise, we would be too much alike. You know that we are both passionate idealists by nature.’

‘I suppose so.’

"I guess so."

‘But let me go on. I want, among other things, to insist upon the fateful power of trivial incidents. No one has yet dared to do this seriously. It has often been done in farce, and that’s why farcical writing so often makes one melancholy. You know my stock instances of the kind of thing I mean. There was poor Allen, who lost the most valuable opportunity of his life because he hadn’t a clean shirt to put on; and Williamson, who would probably have married that rich girl but for the grain of dust that got into his eye, and made him unable to say or do anything at the critical moment.’

‘But let me continue. I want to emphasize, among other things, the significant impact of seemingly trivial events. No one has seriously tackled this yet. It's often been addressed in a comedic way, which is why comedic writing can often be quite sad. You know my usual examples of this kind of thing. There was poor Allen, who missed the most important opportunity of his life because he didn't have a clean shirt to wear; and Williamson, who probably would have married that wealthy girl if it hadn’t been for the tiny speck of dust that got in his eye, preventing him from saying or doing anything at the crucial moment.’

Reardon burst into a roar of laughter.

Reardon erupted into a fit of laughter.

‘There you are!’ cried Biffen, with friendly annoyance. ‘You take the conventional view. If you wrote of these things you would represent them as laughable.’

‘There you are!’ Biffen exclaimed, somewhat playfully irritated. ‘You hold the typical perspective. If you wrote about this stuff, you would make it seem absurd.’

‘They are laughable,’ asserted the other, ‘however serious to the persons concerned. The mere fact of grave issues in life depending on such paltry things is monstrously ludicrous. Life is a huge farce, and the advantage of possessing a sense of humour is that it enables one to defy fate with mocking laughter.’

‘They’re ridiculous,’ the other said, ‘no matter how serious it is for the people involved. The fact that important life issues rely on such trivial things is completely absurd. Life is a big joke, and having a sense of humor allows you to laugh in the face of fate.’

‘That’s all very well, but it isn’t an original view. I am not lacking in sense of humour, but I prefer to treat these aspects of life from an impartial standpoint. The man who laughs takes the side of a cruel omnipotence, if one can imagine such a thing.

‘That’s fine, but it’s not a unique perspective. I have a good sense of humor, but I’d rather look at these parts of life from a neutral point of view. Someone who laughs supports a harsh all-powerful force, if such a thing can be imagined.’

I want to take no side at all; simply to say, Look, this is the kind of thing that happens.’

I don’t want to take any side; I just want to say, “Look, this is the kind of thing that happens.”

‘I admire your honesty, Biffen,’ said Reardon, sighing. ‘You will never sell work of this kind, yet you have the courage to go on with it because you believe in it.’

‘I admire your honesty, Biffen,’ said Reardon, sighing. ‘You’ll never sell work like this, yet you have the guts to keep at it because you truly believe in it.’

‘I don’t know; I may perhaps sell it some day.’

‘I don’t know; I might sell it someday.’

‘In the meantime,’ said Reardon, laying down his pipe, ‘suppose we eat a morsel of something. I’m rather hungry.’

‘In the meantime,’ Reardon said, putting down his pipe, ‘why don’t we grab a bite to eat? I’m pretty hungry.’

In the early days of his marriage Reardon was wont to offer the friends who looked in on Sunday evening a substantial supper; by degrees the meal had grown simpler, until now, in the depth of his poverty, he made no pretence of hospitable entertainment. It was only because he knew that Biffen as often as not had nothing whatever to eat that he did not hesitate to offer him a slice of bread and butter and a cup of tea. They went into the back room, and over the Spartan fare continued to discuss aspects of fiction.

In the early days of his marriage, Reardon would usually serve a hearty supper to the friends who came over on Sunday evenings. Gradually, the meal became simpler, and now, in the depths of his poverty, he made no effort to entertain. He only offered Biffen a slice of bread and butter and a cup of tea because he knew that Biffen often had nothing to eat. They went into the back room and continued their discussion about aspects of fiction over the basic meal.

‘I shall never,’ said Biffen, ‘write anything like a dramatic scene. Such things do happen in life, but so very rarely that they are nothing to my purpose. Even when they happen, by-the-bye, it is in a shape that would be useless to the ordinary novelist; he would have to cut away this circumstance, and add that. Why? I should like to know. Such conventionalism results from stage necessities. Fiction hasn’t yet outgrown the influence of the stage on which it originated. Whatever a man writes FOR EFFECT is wrong and bad.’

‘I will never,’ said Biffen, ‘write anything like a dramatic scene. These things do happen in life, but so rarely that they’re irrelevant to what I’m trying to do. Even when they do happen, it’s in a way that would be useless to a typical novelist; they would have to remove this detail and add that one. Why? I’d like to know. Such conventionalism comes from the needs of the stage. Fiction hasn’t completely moved on from the influence of the stage it came from. Anything a person writes FOR EFFECT is wrong and poor.’

‘Only in your view. There may surely exist such a thing as the ART of fiction.’

‘Only in your opinion. There might definitely be something like the ART of fiction.’

‘It is worked out. We must have a rest from it. You, now—the best things you have done are altogether in conflict with novelistic conventionalities. It was because that blackguard review of “On Neutral Ground” clumsily hinted this that I first thought of you with interest. No, no; let us copy life. When the man and woman are to meet for a great scene of passion, let it all be frustrated by one or other of them having a bad cold in the head, and so on. Let the pretty girl get a disfiguring pimple on her nose just before the ball at which she is going to shine. Show the numberless repulsive features of common decent life. Seriously, coldly; not a hint of facetiousness, or the thing becomes different.’

‘It's been worked out. We need a break from it. You—your best work clashes completely with conventional storytelling. It was because that scoundrel's review of “On Neutral Ground” awkwardly suggested this that I first found you interesting. No, no; let's portray real life. When the man and woman are about to have an intense moment, let it be ruined by one of them catching a bad cold, and so on. Let the pretty girl develop an unsightly pimple on her nose right before the important ball where she’s supposed to shine. Show the countless unpleasant aspects of ordinary, decent life. Seriously, coldly; not a hint of humor, or it all changes.’

About eight o’clock Reardon heard his wife’s knock at the door. On opening he saw not only Amy and the servant, the latter holding Willie in her arms, but with them Jasper Milvain.

About eight o’clock, Reardon heard his wife knock on the door. When he opened it, he saw not only Amy and the servant, who was holding Willie in her arms, but also Jasper Milvain with them.

‘I have been at Mrs Yule’s,’ Jasper explained as he came in. ‘Have you anyone here?’

‘I just came from Mrs. Yule’s,’ Jasper said as he walked in. ‘Is there anyone here?’

‘Biffen.’

‘Biffen.’

‘Ah, then we’ll discuss realism.’

"Great, let’s talk about realism."

‘That’s over for the evening. Greek metres also.’

‘That’s done for the evening. Greek meters too.’

‘Thank Heaven!’

"Thank goodness!"

The three men seated themselves with joking and laughter, and the smoke of their pipes gathered thickly in the little room. It was half an hour before Amy joined them. Tobacco was no disturbance to her, and she enjoyed the kind of talk that was held on these occasions; but it annoyed her that she could no longer play the hostess at a merry supper-table.

The three men settled in, joking and laughing, as the smoke from their pipes filled the small room. Amy didn’t join them until half an hour later. Tobacco didn’t bother her, and she appreciated the lively conversation they had during these gatherings; however, it frustrated her that she could no longer play the role of hostess at a cheerful dinner table.

‘Why ever are you sitting in your overcoat, Mr Biffen?’ were her first words when she entered.

‘Why are you sitting in your overcoat, Mr. Biffen?’ were her first words when she entered.

‘Please excuse me, Mrs Reardon. It happens to be more convenient this evening.’

‘Please excuse me, Mrs. Reardon. It’s just more convenient this evening.’

She was puzzled, but a glance from her husband warned her not to pursue the subject.

She was confused, but a look from her husband signaled her not to keep pushing the topic.

Biffen always behaved to Amy with a sincerity of respect which had made him a favourite with her. To him, poor fellow, Reardon seemed supremely blessed. That a struggling man of letters should have been able to marry, and such a wife, was miraculous in Biffen’s eyes. A woman’s love was to him the unattainable ideal; already thirty-five years old, he had no prospect of ever being rich enough to assure himself a daily dinner; marriage was wildly out of the question. Sitting here, he found it very difficult not to gaze at Amy with uncivil persistency. Seldom in his life had he conversed with educated women, and the sound of this clear voice was always more delightful to him than any music.

Biffen always treated Amy with genuine respect, which made him one of her favorites. To him, poor guy, Reardon seemed incredibly fortunate. That a struggling writer could marry, and such an amazing woman, felt miraculous to Biffen. A woman’s love was to him the ultimate dream; at thirty-five, he had no hope of ever being wealthy enough to guarantee himself a daily meal; marriage was completely out of reach. Sitting here, he found it hard not to stare at Amy with an impolite intensity. Rarely in his life had he spoken with educated women, and the sound of her clear voice was always more enjoyable to him than any music.

Amy took a place near to him, and talked in her most charming way of such things as she knew interested him. Biffen’s deferential attitude as he listened and replied was in strong contrast with the careless ease which marked Jasper Milvain. The realist would never smoke in Amy’s presence, but Jasper puffed jovial clouds even whilst she was conversing with him.

Amy sat close to him and talked in her most charming way about things she knew would interest him. Biffen’s respectful attitude as he listened and responded stood in stark contrast to the casual ease of Jasper Milvain. The realist would never smoke in Amy’s presence, but Jasper happily puffed away even while she was talking to him.

‘Whelpdale came to see me last night,’ remarked Milvain, presently. ‘His novel is refused on all hands. He talks of earning a living as a commission agent for some sewing-machine people.’

‘Whelpdale came to see me last night,’ Milvain said after a moment. ‘His novel is being rejected everywhere. He’s talking about making a living as a commission agent for some sewing machine company.’

‘I can’t understand how his book should be positively refused,’ said Reardon. ‘The last wasn’t altogether a failure.’

‘I don't get how his book could be totally rejected,’ said Reardon. ‘The last one wasn’t a complete failure.’

‘Very nearly. And this one consists of nothing but a series of conversations between two people. It is really a dialogue, not a novel at all. He read me some twenty pages, and I no longer wondered that he couldn’t sell it.’

‘Very close. And this one is just a series of conversations between two people. It's really a dialogue, not a novel at all. He read me about twenty pages, and I wasn’t surprised anymore that he couldn’t sell it.’

‘Oh, but it has considerable merit,’ put in Biffen. ‘The talk is remarkably true.’

‘Oh, but it has a lot of value,’ Biffen interjected. ‘The conversation is surprisingly accurate.’

‘But what’s the good of talk that leads to nothing?’ protested Jasper.

‘But what’s the point of talking if it goes nowhere?’ protested Jasper.

‘It’s a bit of real life.’

‘It’s a slice of real life.’

‘Yes, but it has no market value. You may write what you like, so long as people are willing to read you. Whelpdale’s a clever fellow, but he can’t hit a practical line.’

‘Yes, but it has no market value. You can write whatever you want, as long as people are willing to read it. Whelpdale’s a smart guy, but he can't find a practical angle.’

‘Like some other people I have heard of;’ said Reardon, laughing.

"Like some other people I’ve heard of," Reardon said, laughing.

‘But the odd thing is, that he always strikes one as practical-minded. Don’t you feel that, Mrs Reardon?’

‘But the strange thing is, he always comes across as practical-minded. Don’t you think so, Mrs. Reardon?’

He and Amy talked for a few minutes, and Reardon, seemingly lost in meditation, now and then observed them from the corner of his eye.

He and Amy chatted for a few minutes, and Reardon, appearing deep in thought, occasionally watched them from the corner of his eye.

At eleven o’clock husband and wife were alone again.

At eleven o'clock, the husband and wife were alone again.

‘You don’t mean to say,’ exclaimed Amy, ‘that Biffen has sold his coat?’

‘You can’t be serious,’ Amy exclaimed, ‘that Biffen has sold his coat?’

‘Or pawned it.’

"Or sold it."

‘But why not the overcoat?’

‘But why not the coat?’

‘Partly, I should think, because it’s the warmer of the two; partly, perhaps, because the other would fetch more.’

‘Partly, I think, because it’s the warmer one; partly, maybe, because the other would sell for more.’

‘That poor man will die of starvation, some day, Edwin.’

‘That poor guy is going to starve to death one day, Edwin.’

‘I think it not impossible.’

"I don't think it's impossible."

‘I hope you gave him something to eat?’

‘I hope you gave him something to eat?’

‘Oh yes. But I could see he didn’t like to take as much as he wanted. I don’t think of him with so much pity as I used to; that’s a result of suffering oneself.’

‘Oh yes. But I could tell he didn't want to take as much as he could. I don’t feel as sorry for him as I used to; that’s a consequence of experiencing suffering myself.’

Amy set her lips and sighed.

Amy pressed her lips together and let out a sigh.





CHAPTER XI. RESPITE

The last volume was written in fourteen days. In this achievement Reardon rose almost to heroic pitch, for he had much to contend with beyond the mere labour of composition. Scarcely had he begun when a sharp attack of lumbago fell upon him; for two or three days it was torture to support himself at the desk, and he moved about like a cripple. Upon this ensued headaches, sore-throat, general enfeeblement. And before the end of the fortnight it was necessary to think of raising another small sum of money; he took his watch to the pawnbroker’s (you can imagine that it would not stand as security for much), and sold a few more books. All this notwithstanding, here was the novel at length finished. When he had written ‘The End’ he lay back, closed his eyes, and let time pass in blankness for a quarter of an hour.

The last volume was written in fourteen days. In this accomplishment, Reardon almost reached a heroic level, as he faced a lot more than just the hard work of writing. Hardly had he begun when he was hit by a severe attack of lumbago; for two or three days, it was agony just to sit at the desk, and he moved around like a cripple. Then he started suffering from headaches, a sore throat, and overall weakness. By the end of the two weeks, he needed to think about getting another small amount of money; he took his watch to the pawn shop (you can imagine it wouldn’t pawn for much), and sold a few more books. Despite all this, he finally finished the novel. After he wrote ‘The End,’ he leaned back, closed his eyes, and let time drift away in silence for about fifteen minutes.

It remained to determine the title. But his brain refused another effort; after a few minutes’ feeble search he simply took the name of the chief female character, Margaret Home. That must do for the book. Already, with the penning of the last word, all its scenes, personages, dialogues had slipped away into oblivion; he knew and cared nothing more about them.

It was time to decide on a title. But his mind couldn't focus any longer; after a brief and weak search, he just went with the name of the main female character, Margaret Home. That would have to be the title. Already, with the writing of the last word, all the scenes, characters, and dialogues had faded from his memory; he didn’t know or care about them anymore.

‘Amy, you will have to correct the proofs for me. Never as long as I live will I look upon a page of this accursed novel. It has all but killed me.’

‘Amy, you're going to have to proofread this for me. I swear I’ll never look at a page of this cursed novel again. It’s nearly done me in.’

‘The point is,’ replied Amy, ‘that here we have it complete. Pack it up and take it to the publishers’ to-morrow morning.’

‘The point is,’ replied Amy, ‘that we have it all ready here. Pack it up and take it to the publishers tomorrow morning.’

‘I will.’

"I will."

‘And—you will ask them to advance you a few pounds?’

‘And—you’ll ask them to lend you a few pounds?’

‘I must.’

"I have to."

But that undertaking was almost as hard to face as a rewriting of the last volume would have been. Reardon had such superfluity of sensitiveness that, for his own part, he would far rather have gone hungry than ask for money not legally his due. To-day there was no choice. In the ordinary course of business it would be certainly a month before he heard the publishers’ terms, and perhaps the Christmas season might cause yet more delay. Without borrowing, he could not provide for the expenses of more than another week or two.

But that task was nearly as difficult to face as rewriting the last volume would have been. Reardon was so exceptionally sensitive that, for him, he would much rather go hungry than ask for money that wasn’t rightfully his. Today, there was no choice. Normally, it would definitely take a month before he heard the publishers’ terms, and the Christmas season might cause even more delays. Without borrowing, he couldn’t cover expenses for more than another week or two.

His parcel under his arm, he entered the ground-floor office, and desired to see that member of the firm with whom he had previously had personal relations. This gentleman was not in town; he would be away for a few days. Reardon left the manuscript, and came out into the street again.

His package under his arm, he walked into the ground-floor office and asked to see the company member he had previously met. That person was out of town; he would be away for a few days. Reardon left the manuscript and stepped back out onto the street.

He crossed, and looked up at the publishers’ windows from the opposite pavement. ‘Do they suspect in what wretched circumstances I am? Would it surprise them to know all that depends upon that budget of paltry scribbling? I suppose not; it must be a daily experience with them. Well, I must write a begging letter.’

He crossed the street and looked up at the publishers' windows from the other sidewalk. "Do they realize what terrible situation I'm in? Would they be shocked to know how much relies on that meager budget of scribbles? I guess not; it’s probably something they deal with every day. Alright, I need to write a begging letter."

It was raining and windy. He went slowly homewards, and was on the point of entering the public door of the flats when his uneasiness became so great that he turned and walked past. If he went in, he must at once write his appeal for money, and he felt that he could not. The degradation seemed too great.

It was raining and windy. He walked slowly home and was about to go through the public door of the apartment building when his unease became so intense that he turned and walked past it. If he went inside, he would have to immediately write his request for money, and he felt that he just couldn't do it. The humiliation felt too overwhelming.

Was there no way of getting over the next few weeks? Rent, of course, would be due at Christmas, but that payment might be postponed; it was only a question of buying food and fuel. Amy had offered to ask her mother for a few pounds; it would be cowardly to put this task upon her now that he had promised to meet the difficulty himself. What man in all London could and would lend him money? He reviewed the list of his acquaintances, but there was only one to whom he could appeal with the slightest hope—that was Carter.

Was there really no way to get through the next few weeks? Rent would be due at Christmas, but that payment could be delayed; it was just a matter of buying food and heating. Amy had offered to ask her mom for some money; it would be weak to put this on her now that he had promised to handle it himself. What man in all of London could and would lend him money? He went through his list of acquaintances, but there was only one person he could reach out to with even a hint of hope—that was Carter.

Half an hour later he entered that same hospital door through which, some years ago, he had passed as a half-starved applicant for work. The matron met him.

Half an hour later, he walked through that same hospital door that, years earlier, he had gone through as a half-starved job seeker. The matron greeted him.

‘Is Mr Carter here?’

"Is Mr. Carter here?"

‘No, sir. But we expect him any minute. Will you wait?’

‘No, sir. But we expect him any minute. Will you wait?’

He entered the familiar office, and sat down. At the table where he had been wont to work, a young clerk was writing. If only all the events of the last few years could be undone, and he, with no soul dependent upon him, be once more earning his pound a week in this room! What a happy man he was in those days!

He walked into the familiar office and took a seat. At the table where he used to work, a young clerk was busy writing. If only all the things that happened in the last few years could be reversed, and he, with no one relying on him, could once again earn his weekly wage in this room! He was such a happy man back then!

Nearly half an hour passed. It is the common experience of beggars to have to wait. Then Carter came in with quick step; he wore a heavy ulster of the latest fashion, new gloves, a resplendent silk hat; his cheeks were rosy from the east wind.

Nearly half an hour went by. It's a usual thing for beggars to have to wait. Then Carter came in quickly; he wore a trendy overcoat, new gloves, and a shiny silk hat; his cheeks were rosy from the cold wind.

‘Ha, Reardon! How do? how do? Delighted to see you!’

‘Hey, Reardon! How’s it going? Great to see you!’

‘Are you very busy?’

‘Are you super busy?’

‘Well, no, not particularly. A few cheques to sign, and we’re just getting out our Christmas appeals. You remember?’

‘Well, no, not really. Just a few checks to sign, and we're starting our Christmas appeals. You remember?’

He laughed gaily. There was a remarkable freedom from snobbishness in this young man; the fact of Reardon’s intellectual superiority had long ago counteracted Carter’s social prejudices.

He laughed happily. This young man had a remarkable lack of snobbery; Reardon’s intellectual superiority had long since neutralized Carter’s social biases.

‘I should like to have a word with you.’

‘I’d like to have a word with you.’

‘Right you are!’

"You got it!"

They went into a small inner room. Reardon’s pulse beat at fever-rate; his tongue was cleaving to his palate.

They went into a small inner room. Reardon's heart was racing, and his tongue felt dry against the roof of his mouth.

‘What is it, old man?’ asked the secretary, seating himself and flinging one of his legs over the other. ‘You look rather seedy, do you know. Why the deuce don’t you and your wife look us up now and then?’

‘What’s up, old man?’ asked the secretary as he sat down and threw one leg over the other. ‘You look a bit rough, you know. Why don’t you and your wife come visit us every now and then?’

‘I’ve had a hard pull to finish my novel.’

‘I’ve had a tough time finishing my novel.’

‘Finished, is it? I’m glad to hear that. When’ll it be out? I’ll send scores of people to Mudie’s after it.

‘Finished, is it? I’m glad to hear that. When will it be released? I’ll send tons of people to Mudie’s after it.

‘Thanks; but I don’t think much of it, to tell you the truth.’

‘Thanks, but to be honest, I don’t think it’s that great.’

‘Oh, we know what that means.’

‘Oh, we know what that means.’

Reardon was talking like an automaton. It seemed to him that he turned screws and pressed levers for the utterance of his next words.

Reardon was speaking like a robot. It felt to him like he was turning screws and pressing levers just to get his next words out.

‘I may as well say at once what I have come for. Could you lend me ten pounds for a month—in fact, until I get the money for my book?’

‘I might as well just say right away why I’m here. Can you lend me ten pounds for a month—actually, until I get the money for my book?’

The secretary’s countenance fell, though not to that expression of utter coldness which would have come naturally under the circumstances to a great many vivacious men. He seemed genuinely embarrassed.

The secretary's face dropped, though not to that complete indifference that would have naturally appeared in a lot of lively men given the situation. He looked genuinely uncomfortable.

‘By Jove! I—confound it! To tell you the truth, I haven’t ten pounds to lend. Upon my word, I haven’t, Reardon! These infernal housekeeping expenses! I don’t mind telling you, old man, that Edith and I have been pushing the pace rather.’ He laughed, and thrust his hands down into his trousers-pockets. ‘We pay such a darned rent, you know—hundred and twenty-five. We’ve only just been saying we should have to draw it mild for the rest of the winter. But I’m infernally sorry; upon my word I am.’

“By Jove! I—damn it! To be honest, I don’t have ten pounds to lend. I swear I don’t, Reardon! These frustrating housekeeping costs! I don’t mind telling you, old man, that Edith and I have been living a bit too lavishly.” He laughed and stuffed his hands into his pants pockets. “We pay such a ridiculously high rent, you know—one hundred and twenty-five. We were just saying we’ll need to take it easy for the rest of the winter. But I’m really sorry; I truly am.”

‘And I am sorry to have annoyed you by the unseasonable request.’

‘And I’m sorry to have bothered you with my untimely request.’

‘Devilish seasonable, Reardon, I assure you!’ cried the secretary, and roared at his joke. It put him into a better temper than ever, and he said at length: ‘I suppose a fiver wouldn’t be much use?—For a month, you say?—I might manage a fiver, I think.’

‘Such a devilishly great time, Reardon, I tell you!’ the secretary exclaimed, laughing loudly at his own joke. It really lifted his spirits, and after a moment he said, ‘I guess a five-pound note wouldn’t be much help?—For a month, you said?—I could probably swing a fiver, I think.’

‘It would be very useful. But on no account if——’

‘It would be really useful. But definitely not if——’

‘No, no; I could manage a fiver, for a month. Shall I give you a cheque?’

‘No, no; I could handle a five for a month. Should I write you a check?’

‘I’m ashamed——’

"I'm embarrassed—"

‘Not a bit of it! I’ll go and write the cheque.’

'Not at all! I’ll go write the check.'

Reardon’s face was burning. Of the conversation that followed when Carter again presented himself he never recalled a word. The bit of paper was crushed together in his hand. Out in the street again, he all but threw it away, dreaming for the moment that it was a ‘bus ticket or a patent medicine bill.

Reardon's face was on fire. He couldn't remember a word from the conversation that happened when Carter showed up again. The piece of paper was crumpled in his hand. Once he was back outside, he almost threw it away, momentarily imagining it was a bus ticket or a receipt for a medicine.

He reached home much after the dinner-hour. Amy was surprised at his long absence.

He got home long after dinner. Amy was surprised by how long he had been gone.

‘Got anything?’ she asked.

"Got anything?" she asked.

‘Yes.’

'Yep.'

It was half his intention to deceive her, to say that the publishers had advanced him five pounds. But that would be his first word of untruth to Amy, and why should he be guilty of it? He told her all that had happened. The result of this frankness was something that he had not anticipated; Amy exhibited profound vexation.

It was partly his intention to mislead her, to claim that the publishers had given him five pounds. But that would be his first lie to Amy, and why should he feel guilty about it? He shared everything that had occurred. The outcome of this honesty was something he hadn't expected; Amy showed deep frustration.

‘Oh, you SHOULDN’T have done that!’ she exclaimed. ‘Why didn’t you come home and tell me? I would have gone to mother at once.’

‘Oh, you shouldn't have done that!’ she exclaimed. ‘Why didn't you come home and tell me? I would have gone to Mom right away.’

‘But does it matter?’

'But does it even matter?'

‘Of course it does,’ she replied sharply. ‘Mr Carter will tell his wife, and how pleasant that is?’

‘Of course it does,’ she replied sharply. ‘Mr. Carter will tell his wife, and how nice is that?’

‘I never thought of that. And perhaps it wouldn’t have seemed to me so annoying as it does to you.’

‘I never thought about that. And maybe it wouldn’t have bothered me as much as it does you.’

‘Very likely not.’

'Probably not.'

She turned abruptly away, and stood at a distance in gloomy muteness.

She turned away suddenly and stood at a distance in silent gloom.

‘Well,’ she said at length, ‘there’s no helping it now. Come and have your dinner.’

'Well,' she finally said, 'there's no changing it now. Come and eat your dinner.'

‘You have taken away my appetite.’

‘You’ve made me lose my appetite.’

‘Nonsense! I suppose you’re dying of hunger.’

"Nonsense! I bet you're starving."

They had a very uncomfortable meal, exchanging few words. On Amy’s face was a look more resembling bad temper than anything Reardon had ever seen there. After dinner he went and sat alone in the study. Amy did not come near him. He grew stubbornly angry; remembering the pain he had gone through, he felt that Amy’s behaviour to him was cruel. She must come and speak when she would.

They had a really awkward meal, saying very few words to each other. Amy had a look on her face that was more about irritation than anything Reardon had ever seen before. After dinner, he went and sat alone in the study. Amy didn’t approach him at all. He felt stubbornly angry; thinking about the pain he had experienced, he believed that Amy’s behavior towards him was unkind. She would have to come and talk to him when she was ready.

At six o’clock she showed her face in the doorway and asked if he would come to tea.

At six o’clock, she appeared in the doorway and asked if he would like to come for tea.

‘Thank you,’ he replied, ‘I had rather stay here.’

“Thank you,” he said, “I’d rather stay here.”

‘As you please.’

"Do as you wish."

And he sat alone until about nine. It was only then he recollected that he must send a note to the publishers, calling their attention to the parcel he had left. He wrote it, and closed with a request that they would let him hear as soon as they conveniently could. As he was putting on his hat and coat to go out and post the letter Amy opened the dining-room door.

And he sat alone until around nine. It was only then that he remembered he needed to send a note to the publishers, pointing out the parcel he had left. He wrote it and ended with a request for them to get back to him as soon as they could. Just as he was putting on his hat and coat to go out and mail the letter, Amy opened the dining-room door.

‘You’re going out?’

"Are you going out?"

‘Yes.’

'Yeah.'

‘Shall you be long?’

"Are you going to be long?"

‘I think not.’

"I don't think so."

He was away only a few minutes. On returning he went first of all into the study, but the thought of Amy alone in the other room would not let him rest. He looked in and saw that she was sitting without a fire.

He was gone for only a few minutes. When he came back, he went straight into the study, but the thought of Amy being alone in the other room wouldn’t let him relax. He peered in and saw that she was sitting there without a fire.

‘You can’t stay here in the cold, Amy.’

‘You can’t stay here in the cold, Amy.’

‘I’m afraid I must get used to it,’ she replied, affecting to be closely engaged upon some sewing.

‘I guess I have to get used to it,’ she replied, pretending to be focused on some sewing.

That strength of character which it had always delighted him to read in her features was become an ominous hardness. He felt his heart sink as he looked at her.

That strength of character, which he had always enjoyed seeing in her features, had turned into a troubling hardness. He felt his heart drop as he looked at her.

‘Is poverty going to have the usual result in our case?’ he asked, drawing nearer.

‘Is poverty going to have the same outcome for us?’ he asked, moving closer.

‘I never pretended that I could be indifferent to it.’

‘I never pretended that I could be unaffected by it.’

‘Still, don’t you care to try and resist it?’

‘Still, don’t you want to try and resist it?’

She gave no answer. As usual in conversation with an aggrieved woman it was necessary to go back from the general to the particular.

She didn't reply. As always in conversations with an upset woman, it was necessary to shift from the general to the specific.

‘I’m afraid,’ he said, ‘that the Carters already knew pretty well how things were going with us.’

‘I’m afraid,’ he said, ‘that the Carters already understood pretty well what was happening between us.’

‘That’s a very different thing. But when it comes to asking them for money—’

‘That’s a totally different thing. But when it comes to asking them for money—’

‘I’m very sorry. I would rather have done anything if I had known how it would annoy you.’

‘I’m really sorry. I would have done anything if I had known it would bother you.’

‘If we have to wait a month, five pounds will be very little use to us.’

‘If we have to wait a month, five pounds won’t be very helpful to us.’

She detailed all manner of expenses that had to be met—outlay there was no possibility of avoiding so long as their life was maintained on its present basis.

She listed all the expenses they needed to cover—costs that they couldn’t avoid as long as they continued to live the way they were.

‘However, you needn’t trouble any more about it. I’ll see to it. Now you are free from your book try to rest.’

‘However, you don’t need to worry about it anymore. I’ll take care of it. Now that you’re done with your book, try to relax.’

‘Come and sit by the fire. There’s small chance of rest for me if we are thinking unkindly of each other.’

‘Come and sit by the fire. I won’t have much chance to relax if we’re thinking unkindly about each other.’

A doleful Christmas. Week after week went by and Reardon knew that Amy must have exhausted the money he had given her. But she made no more demands upon him, and necessaries were paid for in the usual way. He suffered from a sense of humiliation; sometimes he found it difficult to look in his wife’s face.

A sad Christmas. Week after week passed, and Reardon realized that Amy must have used up the money he had given her. But she no longer asked him for anything, and the essentials were taken care of as usual. He felt humiliated; sometimes he found it hard to look his wife in the face.

When the publishers’ letter came it contained an offer of seventy-five pounds for the copyright of ‘Margaret Home,’ twenty-five more to be paid if the sale in three-volume form should reach a certain number of copies.

When the publishers' letter arrived, it included an offer of seventy-five pounds for the copyright of 'Margaret Home,' along with an additional twenty-five pounds to be paid if the sales in three-volume form reached a specific number of copies.

Here was failure put into unmistakable figures. Reardon said to himself that it was all over with his profession of authorship. The book could not possibly succeed even to the point of completing his hundred pounds; it would meet with universal contempt, and indeed deserved nothing better.

Here was failure laid out in clear numbers. Reardon told himself that his career as an author was finished. The book couldn’t possibly make even a hundred pounds; it would be met with widespread disdain, and honestly, it deserved nothing less.

‘Shall you accept this?’ asked Amy, after dreary silence.

“Will you accept this?” Amy asked after the long silence.

‘No one else would offer terms as good.’

'No one else would provide such good terms.'

‘Will they pay you at once?’

‘Will they pay you right away?’

‘I must ask them to.’

"I need to ask them to."

Well, it was seventy-five pounds in hand. The cheque came as soon as it was requested, and Reardon’s face brightened for the moment. Blessed money! root of all good, until the world invent some saner economy.

Well, it was seventy-five pounds in hand. The check arrived as soon as it was requested, and Reardon's face brightened for a moment. Thank goodness for money! The root of all good, until the world comes up with a better economy.

‘How much do you owe your mother?’ he inquired, without looking at Amy.

‘How much do you owe your mom?’ he asked, not looking at Amy.

‘Six pounds,’ she answered coldly.

"Six pounds," she replied coldly.

‘And five to Carter; and rent, twelve pounds ten. We shall have a matter of fifty pounds to go on with.’

‘And five to Carter; and rent, twelve pounds ten. We'll have about fifty pounds to work with.’





CHAPTER XII. WORK WITHOUT HOPE

The prudent course was so obvious that he marvelled at Amy’s failing to suggest it. For people in their circumstances to be paying a rent of fifty pounds when a home could be found for half the money was recklessness; there would be no difficulty in letting the flat for this last year of their lease, and the cost of removal would be trifling. The mental relief of such a change might enable him to front with courage a problem in any case very difficult, and, as things were, desperate. Three months ago, in a moment of profoundest misery, he had proposed this step; courage failed him to speak of it again, Amy’s look and voice were too vivid in his memory. Was she not capable of such a sacrifice for his sake? Did she prefer to let him bear all the responsibility of whatever might result from a futile struggle to keep up appearances?

The sensible choice was so clear that he was shocked Amy didn’t suggest it. For them to be paying fifty pounds in rent when they could find a place for half that was just foolish; it wouldn’t be hard to rent out the flat for the last year of their lease, and moving costs would be minimal. The mental relief from such a change might give him the strength to tackle a problem that was already pretty tough, and right now, it felt desperate. Three months ago, in his darkest moment, he had suggested this move; he lacked the courage to bring it up again, as Amy’s expression and tone lingered vividly in his mind. Wasn’t she willing to make such a sacrifice for him? Did she really want him to handle all the fallout from a pointless effort to maintain appearances?

Between him and her there was no longer perfect confidence. Her silence meant reproach, and—whatever might have been the case before—there was no doubt that she now discussed him with her mother, possibly with other people. It was not likely that she concealed his own opinion of the book he had just finished; all their acquaintances would be prepared to greet its publication with private scoffing or with mournful shaking of the head. His feeling towards Amy entered upon a new phase. The stability of his love was a source of pain; condemning himself, he felt at the same time that he was wronged. A coldness which was far from representing the truth began to affect his manner and speech, and Amy did not seem to notice it, at all events she made no kind of protest. They no longer talked of the old subjects, but of those mean concerns of material life which formerly they had agreed to dismiss as quickly as possible. Their relations to each other—not long ago an inexhaustible topic—would not bear spoken comment; both were too conscious of the danger-signal when they looked that way.

Between him and her, there was no longer complete trust. Her silence felt like a criticism, and—whatever had happened before—there was no doubt she was now discussing him with her mother, possibly with other people too. It was unlikely she hid his true opinion about the book he had just finished; all their friends would probably react to its release with mocking laughter or disapproving shakes of their heads. His feelings for Amy entered a new stage. The strength of his love became a source of pain; while blaming himself, he also felt wronged. A chill, which didn’t reflect the truth, began to influence his manner and speech, and Amy didn’t seem to notice it; at least, she made no objections. They no longer talked about their old topics, but rather about the mundane issues of everyday life that they had once agreed to brush aside quickly. Their relationship—once an endless subject of conversation—could not bear to be openly discussed; both were too aware of the warning signs when they looked in that direction.

In the time of waiting for the publishers’ offer, and now again when he was asking himself how he should use the respite granted him, Reardon spent his days at the British Museum. He could not read to much purpose, but it was better to sit here among strangers than seem to be idling under Amy’s glance. Sick of imaginative writing, he turned to the studies which had always been most congenial, and tried to shape out a paper or two like those he had formerly disposed of to editors. Among his unused material lay a mass of notes he had made in a reading of Diogenes Laertius, and it seemed to him now that he might make something salable out of these anecdotes of the philosophers. In a happier mood he could have written delightfully on such a subject—not learnedly, but in the strain of a modern man whose humour and sensibility find free play among the classic ghosts; even now he was able to recover something of the light touch which had given value to his published essays.

While waiting for the publishers' offer, and now again as he pondered how to use the free time he had, Reardon spent his days at the British Museum. He wasn't able to read with much purpose, but it felt better to be among strangers than to appear idle under Amy's watchful eye. Tired of creative writing, he turned to the studies he had always enjoyed, trying to craft a paper or two similar to the ones he had previously submitted to editors. Among his unused material was a collection of notes he had taken while reading Diogenes Laertius, and it occurred to him that he might be able to turn these anecdotes about philosophers into something marketable. In a happier mood, he could have written charmingly on such a topic—not in a scholarly way, but like a modern person whose humor and sensibility can easily engage with classic figures; even now, he managed to capture some of the lightness that had made his published essays valuable.

Meanwhile the first number of The Current had appeared, and Jasper Milvain had made a palpable hit. Amy spoke very often of the article called ‘Typical Readers,’ and her interest in its author was freely manifested. Whenever a mention of Jasper came under her notice she read it out to her husband. Reardon smiled and appeared glad, but he did not care to discuss Milvain with the same frankness as formerly.

Meanwhile, the first issue of The Current had come out, and Jasper Milvain had made a notable impact. Amy often talked about the article titled 'Typical Readers,' and her interest in its author was clearly shown. Whenever she saw Jasper's name mentioned, she would read it aloud to her husband. Reardon smiled and seemed happy, but he wasn't eager to discuss Milvain with the same openness as before.

One evening at the end of January he told Amy what he had been writing at the Museum, and asked her if she would care to hear it read.

One evening at the end of January, he told Amy what he had been writing at the Museum and asked her if she would like to hear it read.

‘I began to wonder what you were doing,’ she replied.

‘I started to wonder what you were up to,’ she replied.

‘Then why didn’t you ask me?’

‘Then why didn’t you ask me?’

‘I was rather afraid to.’

"I was kind of scared to."

‘Why afraid?’

'Why are you scared?'

‘It would have seemed like reminding you that—you know what I mean.’

‘It would have felt like I was reminding you that—you know what I mean.’

‘That a month or two more will see us at the same crisis again. Still, I had rather you had shown an interest in my doings.’

‘That a month or two more will bring us to the same crisis again. Still, I would have preferred if you had shown some interest in what I’m doing.’

After a pause Amy asked:

After a pause, Amy asked:

‘Do you think you can get a paper of this kind accepted?’

‘Do you think you can get a paper like this accepted?’

‘It isn’t impossible. I think it’s rather well done. Let me read you a page—’

‘It’s not impossible. I think it’s pretty well done. Let me read you a page—’

‘Where will you send it?’ she interrupted.

‘Where are you going to send it?’ she interrupted.

‘To The Wayside.’

'To the Wayside.'

‘Why not try The Current? Ask Milvain to introduce you to Mr Fadge. They pay much better, you know.’

'Why not check out The Current? Have Milvain introduce you to Mr. Fadge. They pay a lot better, you know.'

‘But this isn’t so well suited for Fadge. And I much prefer to be independent, as long as it’s possible.’

‘But this isn’t really a good fit for Fadge. And I’d much rather be independent, as long as it’s possible.’

‘That’s one of your faults, Edwin,’ remarked his wife, mildly. ‘It’s only the strongest men that can make their way independently. You ought to use every means that offers.’

‘That’s one of your faults, Edwin,’ his wife said gently. ‘Only the strongest men can make their way on their own. You should take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way.’

‘Seeing that I am so weak?’

‘Do you see that I’m so weak?’

‘I didn’t think it would offend you. I only meant—-’

‘I didn’t think it would upset you. I just meant—-’

‘No, no; you are quite right. Certainly, I am one of the men who need all the help they can get. But I assure you, this thing won’t do for The Current.’

‘No, no; you’re absolutely right. Of course, I’m one of those guys who needs all the help they can get. But I promise you, this won’t work for The Current.’

‘What a pity you will go back to those musty old times! Now think of that article of Milvain’s. If only you could do something of that kind! What do people care about Diogenes and his tub and his lantern?’

‘What a shame you're going back to those dusty old days! Now think about that article by Milvain. If only you could create something like that! Who really cares about Diogenes, his tub, and his lantern?’

‘My dear girl, Diogenes Laertius had neither tub nor lantern, that I know of. You are making a mistake; but it doesn’t matter.’

‘My dear girl, Diogenes Laertius didn’t have a tub or a lantern, as far as I know. You’re mistaken; but it’s not a big deal.’

‘No, I don’t think it does.’ The caustic note was not very pleasant on Amy’s lips. ‘Whoever he was, the mass of readers will be frightened by his name.’

‘No, I don’t think it does.’ The sharp tone didn’t sound very nice coming from Amy. ‘Whoever he was, the majority of readers will be scared off by his name.’

‘Well, we have to recognise that the mass of readers will never care for anything I do.’

'Well, we have to acknowledge that most readers will never be interested in anything I do.'

‘You will never convince me that you couldn’t write in a popular way if you tried. I’m sure you are quite as clever as Milvain—’

‘You will never convince me that you couldn’t write in a way that appeals to people if you really tried. I’m sure you’re just as smart as Milvain—’

Reardon made an impatient gesture.

Reardon gestured impatiently.

‘Do leave Milvain aside for a little! He and I are as unlike as two men could be. What’s the use of constantly comparing us?’

‘Let’s put Milvain aside for a moment! He and I are as different as two men can be. What’s the point of always comparing us?’

Amy looked at him. He had never spoken to her so brusquely.

Amy looked at him. He had never talked to her so abruptly.

‘How can you say that I am constantly comparing you?’

‘How can you say that I'm always comparing you?’

‘If not in spoken words, then in your thoughts.’

‘If not in spoken words, then in your thoughts.’

‘That’s not a very nice thing to say, Edwin.’

‘That’s not a very nice thing to say, Edwin.’

‘You make it so unmistakable, Amy. What I mean is, that you are always regretting the difference between him and me. You lament that I can’t write in that attractive way. Well, I lament it myself—for your sake. I wish I had Milvain’s peculiar talent, so that I could get reputation and money. But I haven’t, and there’s an end of it. It irritates a man to be perpetually told of his disadvantages.’

‘You make it so obvious, Amy. What I mean is, you’re always regretting the difference between him and me. You wish I could write in that appealing way. Well, I wish that too—for your sake. I wish I had Milvain’s unique talent, so I could gain respect and money. But I don’t, and that’s that. It frustrates a guy to be constantly reminded of his shortcomings.’

‘I will never mention Milvain’s name again,’ said Amy coldly.

‘I will never mention Milvain’s name again,’ Amy said coldly.

‘Now that’s ridiculous, and you know it.’

‘That’s just ridiculous, and you know it.’

‘I feel the same about your irritation. I can’t see that I have given any cause for it.’

‘I feel the same way about your frustration. I don’t think I’ve done anything to cause it.’

‘Then we’ll talk no more of the matter.’

‘Then we won’t discuss this anymore.’

Reardon threw his manuscript aside and opened a book. Amy never asked him to resume his intention of reading what he had written.

Reardon tossed his manuscript aside and picked up a book. Amy never asked him to go back to reading what he had written.

However, the paper was accepted. It came out in The Wayside for March, and Reardon received seven pounds ten for it. By that time he had written another thing of the same gossipy kind, suggested by Pliny’s Letters. The pleasant occupation did him good, but there was no possibility of pursuing this course. ‘Margaret Home’ would be published in April; he might get the five-and-twenty pounds contingent upon a certain sale, yet that could in no case be paid until the middle of the year, and long before then he would be penniless. His respite drew to an end.

However, the paper was accepted. It was published in The Wayside for March, and Reardon earned seven pounds ten for it. By that time, he had written another piece of the same gossipy style, inspired by Pliny’s Letters. The enjoyable work was good for him, but there was no way he could continue on this path. ‘Margaret Home’ would be released in April; he might receive the twenty-five pounds depending on certain sales, but that payment wouldn't arrive until the middle of the year, and long before that, he would be broke. His brief relief was coming to an end.

But now he took counsel of no one; as far as it was possible he lived in solitude, never seeing those of his acquaintances who were outside the literary world, and seldom even his colleagues. Milvain was so busy that he had only been able to look in twice or thrice since Christmas, and Reardon nowadays never went to Jasper’s lodgings.

But now he didn’t consult anyone; as much as possible, he lived in isolation, rarely seeing anyone outside the literary world and seldom even his colleagues. Milvain was so busy that he had only managed to drop by two or three times since Christmas, and Reardon hardly ever went to Jasper’s place anymore.

He had the conviction that all was over with the happiness of his married life, though how the events which were to express this ruin would shape themselves he could not foresee. Amy was revealing that aspect of her character to which he had been blind, though a practical man would have perceived it from the first; so far from helping him to support poverty, she perhaps would even refuse to share it with him. He knew that she was slowly drawing apart; already there was a divorce between their minds, and he tortured himself in uncertainty as to how far he retained her affections. A word of tenderness, a caress, no longer met with response from her; her softest mood was that of mere comradeship. All the warmth of her nature was expended upon the child; Reardon learnt how easy it is for a mother to forget that both parents have a share in her offspring.

He was convinced that his marriage happiness was completely over, though he couldn’t predict how the events that would lead to this downfall would unfold. Amy was showing a side of her personality that he had been oblivious to, even though a practical person would have seen it from the start; instead of helping him endure hardship, she might even refuse to share it with him. He could tell that she was slowly drifting away; there was already a disconnect between their minds, and he tortured himself with uncertainty about how much of her affection he still had. A word of kindness or a loving touch no longer elicited a response from her; her kindest moments felt like simple friendship. All the warmth in her nature was directed at their child; Reardon realized how easy it is for a mother to forget that both parents have a role in their child’s life.

He was beginning to dislike the child. But for Willie’s existence Amy would still love him with undivided heart; not, perhaps, so passionately as once, but still with lover’s love. And Amy understood—or, at all events, remarked—this change in him. She was aware that he seldom asked a question about Willie, and that he listened with indifference when she spoke of the little fellow’s progress. In part offended, she was also in part pleased.

He was starting to dislike the child. If it weren't for Willie, Amy would still love him wholeheartedly; maybe not as intensely as before, but still with love. And Amy noticed—or at least recognized—this change in him. She realized that he rarely asked about Willie and that he listened with indifference when she talked about the little guy’s progress. Partly offended, she was also partly pleased.

But for the child, mere poverty, he said to himself, should never have sundered them. In the strength of his passion he could have overcome all her disappointments; and, indeed, but for that new care, he would most likely never have fallen to this extremity of helplessness. It is natural in a weak and sensitive man to dream of possibilities disturbed by the force of circumstance. For one hour which he gave to conflict with his present difficulties, Reardon spent many in contemplation of the happiness that might have been.

But for the child, just being poor, he told himself, should never have torn them apart. With the strength of his love, he could have overcome all her disappointments; and honestly, if it weren't for that new worry, he probably wouldn’t have ended up in this level of helplessness. It's common for a fragile and sensitive man to imagine possibilities disrupted by the reality of his situation. For every hour he spent struggling with his current problems, Reardon spent many more thinking about the happiness that could have existed.

Even yet, it needed but a little money to redeem all. Amy had no extravagant aspirations; a home of simple refinement and freedom from anxiety would restore her to her nobler self. How could he find fault with her? She knew nothing of such sordid life as he had gone through, and to lack money for necessities seemed to her degrading beyond endurance. Why, even the ordinary artisan’s wife does not suffer such privations as hers at the end of the past year. For lack of that little money his life must be ruined. Of late he had often thought about the rich uncle, John Yule, who might perhaps leave something to Amy; but the hope was so uncertain. And supposing such a thing were to happen; would it be perfectly easy to live upon his wife’s bounty—perhaps exhausting a small capital, so that, some years hence, their position would be no better than before? Not long ago, he could have taken anything from Amy’s hand; would it be so simple since the change that had come between them?

Even now, it only took a little money to fix everything. Amy didn’t have big dreams; a home with simple elegance and a life free from worry would bring her back to her better self. How could he criticize her? She had no idea of the harsh life he had experienced, and being short on money for basic needs felt utterly humiliating to her. After all, even a typical working-class wife doesn’t endure the hardships she faced over the past year. Because of that lack of money, his life was falling apart. Lately, he often thought about his wealthy uncle, John Yule, who might leave something to Amy; but that hope was so uncertain. And if that did happen, would it really be easy to rely on his wife’s support—maybe depleting a small amount of money, so that a few years later, their situation would be no better than it was before? Not long ago, he would have accepted anything from Amy’s hand without hesitation; would it be so easy now, with the distance that had grown between them?

Having written his second magazine-article (it was rejected by two editors, and he had no choice but to hold it over until sufficient time had elapsed to allow of his again trying The Wayside), he saw that he must perforce plan another novel. But this time he was resolute not to undertake three volumes. The advertisements informed him that numbers of authors were abandoning that procrustean system; hopeless as he was, he might as well try his chance with a book which could be written in a few weeks. And why not a glaringly artificial story with a sensational title? It could not be worse than what he had last written.

Having written his second magazine article (which was rejected by two editors, and he had no choice but to wait until enough time passed to try The Wayside again), he realized he had to plan another novel. This time, he was determined not to write three volumes. The ads told him that many authors were ditching that rigid format; as hopeless as he felt, he might as well give it a go with a book that could be finished in a few weeks. And why not a completely artificial story with a flashy title? It couldn't be worse than what he had just written.

So, without a word to Amy, he put aside his purely intellectual work and began once more the search for a ‘plot.’ This was towards the end of February. The proofs of ‘Margaret Home’ were coming in day by day; Amy had offered to correct them, but after all he preferred to keep his shame to himself as long as possible, and with a hurried reading he dismissed sheet after sheet. His imagination did not work the more happily for this repugnant task; still, he hit at length upon a conception which seemed absurd enough for the purpose before him. Whether he could persevere with it even to the extent of one volume was very doubtful. But it should not be said of him that he abandoned his wife and child to penury without one effort of the kind that Milvain and Amy herself had recommended.

So, without saying anything to Amy, he put aside his purely intellectual work and started searching for a ‘plot’ again. This was towards the end of February. The proofs of ‘Margaret Home’ were coming in daily; Amy had offered to correct them, but he preferred to keep his embarrassment to himself for as long as possible, and with a quick read, he dismissed sheet after sheet. His imagination didn’t work any better for this unpleasant task; still, he eventually came up with an idea that seemed ridiculous enough for what he needed. Whether he could stick with it even for one volume was very questionable. But he didn’t want it to be said that he abandoned his wife and child to poverty without making an effort, like Milvain and Amy herself had suggested.

Writing a page or two of manuscript daily, and with several holocausts to retard him, he had done nearly a quarter of the story when there came a note from Jasper telling of Mrs Milvain’s death. He handed it across the breakfast-table to Amy, and watched her as she read it.

Writing a page or two of manuscript every day, and with several setbacks to slow him down, he had completed almost a quarter of the story when a note arrived from Jasper informing him of Mrs. Milvain’s death. He passed it across the breakfast table to Amy and observed her as she read it.

‘I suppose it doesn’t alter his position,’ Amy remarked, without much interest.

‘I guess it doesn’t change his position,’ Amy said, without much interest.

‘I suppose not appreciably. He told me once his mother had a sufficient income; but whatever she leaves will go to his sisters, I should think. He has never said much to me.’

‘I guess not really. He mentioned once that his mom has a decent income; but whatever she leaves will probably go to his sisters, I think. He hasn’t said much to me.’

Nearly three weeks passed before they heard anything more from Jasper himself; then he wrote, again from the country, saying that he purposed bringing his sisters to live in London. Another week, and one evening he appeared at the door.

Nearly three weeks went by before they heard anything more from Jasper himself; then he wrote again from the countryside, saying that he planned to bring his sisters to live in London. Another week later, one evening he showed up at the door.

A want of heartiness in Reardon’s reception of him might have been explained as gravity natural under the circumstances. But Jasper had before this become conscious that he was not welcomed here quite so cheerily as in the old days. He remarked it distinctly on that evening when he accompanied Amy home from Mrs Yule’s; since then he had allowed his pressing occupations to be an excuse for the paucity of his visits. It seemed to him perfectly intelligible that Reardon, sinking into literary insignificance, should grow cool to a man entering upon a successful career; the vein of cynicism in Jasper enabled him to pardon a weakness of this kind, which in some measure flattered him. But he both liked and respected Reardon, and at present he was in the mood to give expression to his warmer feelings.

A lack of warmth in Reardon’s greeting could have been seen as seriousness due to the situation. However, Jasper had already noticed that he wasn't being welcomed here quite as warmly as in the past. He clearly observed this during the evening he took Amy home from Mrs. Yule’s; since then, he had used his busy schedule as a reason for not visiting much. It seemed completely understandable to him that Reardon, fading into literary obscurity, would grow distant from someone starting a successful career; Jasper’s cynical side allowed him to forgive this kind of weakness, which in a way flattered him. But he both liked and respected Reardon, and at that moment, he wanted to express his more positive feelings.

‘Your book is announced, I see,’ he said with an accent of pleasure, as soon as he had seated himself.

‘I see your book is announced,’ he said with a hint of pleasure, as soon as he sat down.

‘I didn’t know it.’

"I had no idea."

‘Yes. “New novel by the author of ‘On Neutral Ground.’” Down for the sixteenth of April. And I have a proposal to make about it. Will you let me ask Fadge to have it noticed in “Books of the Month,” in the May Current?’

‘Yes. “New novel by the author of ‘On Neutral Ground.’” Scheduled for April 16th. And I have a suggestion about it. Can I ask Fadge to feature it in “Books of the Month” in the May Current?’

‘I strongly advise you to let it take its chance. The book isn’t worth special notice, and whoever undertook to review it for Fadge would either have to lie, or stultify the magazine.’

‘I really think you should just let it be. The book isn’t anything special, and anyone who agreed to review it for Fadge would either have to lie or bring down the magazine.’

Jasper turned to Amy.

Jasper looked at Amy.

‘Now what is to be done with a man like this? What is one to say to him, Mrs Reardon?’

‘So what should we do with a guy like this? What do you say to him, Mrs. Reardon?’

‘Edwin dislikes the book,’ Amy replied, carelessly.

‘Edwin doesn’t like the book,’ Amy replied, casually.

‘That has nothing to do with the matter. We know quite well that in anything he writes there’ll be something for a well-disposed reviewer to make a good deal of. If Fadge will let me, I should do the thing myself.’

‘That has nothing to do with the issue. We know very well that in anything he writes, there will be something for a favorable reviewer to work with. If Fadge allows me, I would like to handle it myself.’

Neither Reardon nor his wife spoke.

Neither Reardon nor his wife said a word.

‘Of course,’ went on Milvain, looking at the former, ‘if you had rather I left it alone—’

‘Of course,’ continued Milvain, looking at the former, ‘if you’d prefer I just dropped it—’

‘I had much rather. Please don’t say anything about it.’

'I would much rather not. Please don't mention it.'

There was an awkward silence. Amy broke it by saying:

There was an awkward silence. Amy broke it by saying:

‘Are your sisters in town, Mr Milvain?’

‘Are your sisters in town, Mr. Milvain?’

‘Yes. We came up two days ago. I found lodgings for them not far from Mornington Road. Poor girls! they don’t quite know where they are, yet. Of course they will keep very quiet for a time, then I must try to get friends for them. Well, they have one already—your cousin, Miss Yule. She has already been to see them.’

‘Yes. We arrived two days ago. I found a place for them to stay not far from Mornington Road. Poor girls! They’re still a bit confused about where they are. Of course, they’ll need to stay low-key for a while, and then I’ll try to help them make some friends. Well, they already have one—your cousin, Miss Yule. She’s already come to visit them.’

‘I’m very glad of that.’

"I'm really glad about that."

Amy took an opportunity of studying his face. There was again a silence as if of constraint. Reardon, glancing at his wife, said with hesitation:

Amy took the chance to study his face. There was again a silence that felt a bit tense. Reardon, looking at his wife, said hesitantly:

‘When they care to see other visitors, I’m sure Amy would be very glad—’

‘When they want to see other visitors, I’m sure Amy would be very happy—’

‘Certainly!’ his wife added.

"Of course!" his wife added.

‘Thank you very much. Of course I knew I could depend on Mrs Reardon to show them kindness in that way. But let me speak frankly of something. My sisters have made quite a friend of Miss Yule, since she was down there last year. Wouldn’t that’—he turned to Amy—‘cause you a little awkwardness?’

‘Thank you so much. I knew I could count on Mrs. Reardon to treat them kindly. But I want to be honest about something. My sisters have become good friends with Miss Yule since she was here last year. Wouldn’t that’—he turned to Amy—‘make things a bit awkward for you?’

Amy had a difficulty in replying. She kept her eyes on the ground.

Amy had a hard time responding. She focused her gaze on the ground.

‘You have had no quarrel with your cousin,’ remarked Reardon.

‘You haven't had any argument with your cousin,’ Reardon said.

‘None whatever. It’s only my mother and my uncle.’

'None at all. It's just my mom and my uncle.'

‘I can’t imagine Miss Yule having a quarrel with anyone,’ said Jasper. Then he added quickly: ‘Well, things must shape themselves naturally. We shall see. For the present they will be fully occupied. Of course it’s best that they should be. I shall see them every day, and Miss Yule will come pretty often, I dare say.’

‘I can’t picture Miss Yule getting into an argument with anyone,’ said Jasper. Then he quickly added: ‘Well, things will unfold as they do. We’ll see. For now, they’ll be pretty busy. Of course, it’s best that they are. I’ll see them every day, and Miss Yule will probably come by quite often.’

Reardon caught Amy’s eye, but at once looked away again.

Reardon made eye contact with Amy, but quickly looked away.

‘My word!’ exclaimed Milvain, after a moment’s meditation. ‘It’s well this didn’t happen a year ago. The girls have no income; only a little cash to go on with. We shall have our work set. It’s a precious lucky thing that I have just got a sort of footing.’

‘Wow!’ Milvain exclaimed after a moment of thought. ‘It’s a good thing this didn’t happen a year ago. The girls have no income; just a little cash to get by. We’re going to have our hands full. It’s incredibly lucky that I’ve just started to gain some stability.’

Reardon muttered an assent.

Reardon muttered agreeably.

‘And what are you doing now?’ Jasper inquired suddenly.

‘So, what are you up to now?’ Jasper asked suddenly.

‘Writing a one-volume story.’

"Writing a single-volume story."

‘I’m glad to hear that. Any special plan for its publication?’

‘I’m glad to hear that. Do you have any special plans for its publication?’

‘No.’

'No.'

‘Then why not offer it to Jedwood? He’s publishing a series of one-volume novels. You know of Jedwood, don’t you? He was Culpepper’s manager; started business about half a year ago, and it looks as if he would do well. He married that woman—what’s her name?—Who wrote “Mr Henderson’s Wives”?’

‘Then why not offer it to Jedwood? He’s putting out a series of one-volume novels. You know Jedwood, right? He was Culpepper’s manager; started his business about six months ago, and it looks like he’s going to do well. He married that woman—what’s her name?—who wrote “Mr. Henderson’s Wives”?’

‘Never heard of it.’

"Never heard of that."

‘Nonsense!—Miss Wilkes, of course. Well, she married this fellow Jedwood, and there was a great row about something or other between him and her publishers. Mrs Boston Wright told me all about it. An astonishing woman that; a cyclopaedia of the day’s small talk. I’m quite a favourite with her; she’s promised to help the girls all she can. Well, but I was talking about Jedwood. Why not offer him this book of yours? He’s eager to get hold of the new writers. Advertises hugely; he has the whole back page of The Study about every other week. I suppose Miss Wilkes’s profits are paying for it. He has just given Markland two hundred pounds for a paltry little tale that would scarcely swell out to a volume. Markland told me himself. You know that I’ve scraped an acquaintance with him? Oh! I suppose I haven’t seen you since then. He’s a dwarfish fellow with only one eye. Mrs Boston Wright cries him up at every opportunity.’

‘Nonsense!—It’s definitely Miss Wilkes. She married this guy Jedwood, and there was a huge argument about something between him and her publishers. Mrs. Boston Wright filled me in on the details. She’s an incredible woman; basically a walking encyclopedia of the latest gossip. I’m pretty much a favorite of hers; she’s promised to help the girls as much as she can. But I was talking about Jedwood. Why not pitch him your book? He’s really keen to discover new writers. He advertises a ton; he has the entire back page of The Study almost every other week. I guess Miss Wilkes’s earnings are funding it. He just paid Markland two hundred pounds for a tiny little story that wouldn’t even fill a book. Markland told me himself. You know I’ve become somewhat friendly with him? Oh! I guess I haven’t seen you since then. He’s a small guy with only one eye. Mrs. Boston Wright talks him up every chance she gets.’

‘Who IS Mrs Boston Wright?’ asked Reardon, laughing impatiently.

‘Who is Mrs. Boston Wright?’ asked Reardon, laughing impatiently.

‘Edits The English Girl, you know. She’s had an extraordinary life. Was born in Mauritius—no, Ceylon—I forget; some such place. Married a sailor at fifteen. Was shipwrecked somewhere, and only restored to life after terrific efforts;—her story leaves it all rather vague. Then she turns up as a newspaper correspondent at the Cape. Gave up that, and took to some kind of farming, I forget where. Married again (first husband lost in aforementioned shipwreck), this time a Baptist minister, and began to devote herself to soup-kitchens in Liverpool. Husband burned to death, somewhere. She’s next discovered in the thick of literary society in London. A wonderful woman, I assure you. Must be nearly fifty, but she looks twenty-five.’

‘Edits The English Girl, you know. She’s had an extraordinary life. She was born in Mauritius—no, Ceylon—I forget; some place like that. Married a sailor at fifteen. Got shipwrecked somewhere, and only came back to life after amazing efforts;—her story leaves it all pretty vague. Then she pops up as a newspaper correspondent at the Cape. Gave that up and started some kind of farming, I can’t recall where. Married again (her first husband was lost in that shipwreck), this time a Baptist minister, and began to dedicate herself to soup kitchens in Liverpool. Her husband died in a fire, somewhere. She’s next found in the heart of literary society in London. A remarkable woman, I assure you. She must be nearly fifty, but she looks twenty-five.’

He paused, then added impulsively:

He hesitated, then added impulsively:

‘Let me take you to one of her evenings—nine on Thursday. Do persuade him, Mrs Reardon?’

‘Let me take you to one of her evenings—nine on Thursday. Can you convince him, Mrs. Reardon?’

Reardon shook his head.

Reardon shook his head.

‘No, no. I should be horribly out of my element.’

‘No, no. I would feel completely out of place.’

‘I can’t see why. You would meet all sorts of well-known people; those you ought to have met long ago. Better still, let me ask her to send an invitation for both of you. I’m sure you’d like her, Mrs Reardon. There’s a good deal of humbug about her, it’s true, but some solid qualities as well. No one has a word to say against her. And it’s a splendid advertisement to have her for a friend. She’ll talk about your books and articles till all is blue.’

‘I don’t see why not. You’d meet all kinds of famous people; the ones you should have met ages ago. Even better, let me ask her to send an invitation for both of you. I’m sure you’d like Mrs. Reardon. She has her fair share of nonsense, it’s true, but she has some real qualities too. No one says a bad word about her. Plus, having her as a friend is a great way to boost your image. She’ll talk about your books and articles nonstop.’

Amy gave a questioning look at her husband. But Reardon moved in an uncomfortable way.

Amy looked at her husband with a questioning expression. But Reardon shifted awkwardly.

‘We’ll see about it,’ he said. ‘Some day, perhaps.’

‘We’ll see about that,’ he said. ‘Maybe someday.’

‘Let me know whenever you feel disposed. But about Jedwood: I happen to know a man who reads for him.’

‘Let me know whenever you're ready. But about Jedwood: I happen to know someone who reads for him.’

‘Heavens!’ cried Reardon. ‘Who don’t you know?’

‘Wow!’ cried Reardon. ‘Who do you not know?’

‘The simplest thing in the world. At present it’s a large part of my business to make acquaintances. Why, look you; a man who has to live by miscellaneous writing couldn’t get on without a vast variety of acquaintances. One’s own brain would soon run dry; a clever fellow knows how to use the brains of other people.’

‘The simplest thing in the world. Right now, a big part of my job is making connections. You see, a person who earns a living through various writing can’t succeed without a wide range of acquaintances. Your own ideas would run out fast; a smart person knows how to tap into the ideas of others.’

Amy listened with an unconscious smile which expressed keen interest.

Amy listened with a natural smile that showed her genuine interest.

‘Oh,’ pursued Jasper, ‘when did you see Whelpdale last?’

‘Oh,’ continued Jasper, ‘when did you last see Whelpdale?’

‘Haven’t seen him for a long time.’

‘Haven't seen him in a while.’

‘You don’t know what he’s doing? The fellow has set up as a “literary adviser.” He has an advertisement in The Study every week. “To Young Authors and Literary Aspirants”—something of the kind. “Advice given on choice of subjects, MSS. read, corrected, and recommended to publishers. Moderate terms.” A fact! And what’s more, he made six guineas in the first fortnight; so he says, at all events. Now that’s one of the finest jokes I ever heard. A man who can’t get anyone to publish his own books makes a living by telling other people how to write!’

‘You don't know what he's up to? The guy has started working as a “literary adviser.” He runs an ad in The Study every week. “To Young Authors and Literary Aspirants”—something like that. “Advice on choosing topics, MSS. read, edited, and recommended to publishers. Affordable rates.” It's true! And what's more, he claims he made six guineas in the first two weeks; at least, that's what he says. Now that's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. A guy who can't get anyone to publish his own books is making a living by telling other people how to write!’

‘But it’s a confounded swindle!’

"But it’s a complete scam!"

‘Oh, I don’t know. He’s capable of correcting the grammar of “literary aspirants,” and as for recommending to publishers—well, anyone can recommend, I suppose.’

‘Oh, I don’t know. He can fix the grammar of “literary wannabes,” and as for suggesting to publishers—well, anyone can suggest, I guess.’

Reardon’s indignation yielded to laughter.

Reardon's anger turned to laughter.

‘It’s not impossible that he may thrive by this kind of thing.’

‘It’s not impossible that he might succeed with this sort of thing.’

‘Not at all,’ assented Jasper.

"Not at all," agreed Jasper.

Shortly after this he looked at his watch.

Shortly after this, he checked his watch.

‘I must be off, my friends. I have something to write before I can go to my truckle-bed, and it’ll take me three hours at least.

'I have to go now, my friends. I need to write something before I can head to bed, and it'll take me at least three hours.'

‘Good-bye, old man. Let me know when your story’s finished, and we’ll talk about it. And think about Mrs Boston Wright; oh, and about that review in The Current. I wish you’d let me do it. Talk it over with your guide, philosopher, and friend.’

‘Goodbye, old man. Let me know when you’ve finished your story, and we’ll discuss it. And think about Mrs. Boston Wright; oh, and about that review in The Current. I wish you’d let me handle it. Talk it over with your guide, philosopher, and friend.’

He indicated Amy, who laughed in a forced way.

He pointed at Amy, who laughed awkwardly.

When he was gone, the two sat without speaking for several minutes.

When he left, the two sat in silence for a few minutes.

‘Do you care to make friends with those girls?’ asked Reardon at length.

"Do you want to be friends with those girls?" Reardon asked after a while.

‘I suppose in decency I must call upon them?’

‘I guess I should visit them out of courtesy?’

‘I suppose so.’

"Yeah, I guess so."

‘You may find them very agreeable.’

'You might find them quite pleasant.'

‘Oh yes.’

"Absolutely."

They conversed with their own thoughts for a while. Then Reardon burst out laughing.

They chatted with their own thoughts for a bit. Then Reardon suddenly burst out laughing.

‘Well, there’s the successful man, you see. Some day he’ll live in a mansion, and dictate literary opinions to the universe.’

‘Well, there’s the successful guy, you see. Someday he’ll live in a mansion and share his literary opinions with the world.’

‘How has he offended you?’

‘How did he offend you?’

‘Offended me? Not at all. I am glad of his cheerful prospects.’

‘Offended me? Not at all. I'm actually happy for his cheerful outlook.’

‘Why should you refuse to go among those people? It might be good for you in several ways.’

‘Why would you refuse to be around those people? It could be good for you in a lot of ways.’

‘If the chance had come when I was publishing my best work, I dare say I shouldn’t have refused. But I certainly shall not present myself as the author of “Margaret Home,” and the rubbish I’m now writing.’

‘If the opportunity had come when I was publishing my best work, I bet I wouldn’t have turned it down. But I definitely won’t claim to be the author of “Margaret Home,” and the nonsense I’m currently writing.’

‘Then you must cease to write rubbish.’

‘Then you need to stop writing nonsense.’

‘Yes. I must cease to write altogether.’

‘Yes. I have to stop writing completely.’

‘And do what?’

"And what should I do?"

‘I wish to Heaven I knew!’

‘I wish to God I knew!’





CHAPTER XIII. A WARNING

In the spring list of Mr Jedwood’s publications, announcement was made of a new work by Alfred Yule. It was called ‘English Prose in the Nineteenth Century,’ and consisted of a number of essays (several of which had already seen the light in periodicals) strung into continuity. The final chapter dealt with contemporary writers, more especially those who served to illustrate the author’s theme—that journalism is the destruction of prose style: on certain popular writers of the day there was an outpouring of gall which was not likely to be received as though it were sweet ointment. The book met with rather severe treatment in critical columns; it could scarcely be ignored (the safest mode of attack when one’s author has no expectant public), and only the most skilful could write of it in a hostile spirit without betraying that some of its strokes had told. An evening newspaper which piqued itself on independence indulged in laughing appreciation of the polemical chapter, and the next day printed a scornful letter from a thinly-disguised correspondent who assailed both book and reviewer. For the moment people talked more of Alfred Yule than they had done since his memorable conflict with Clement Fadge.

In the spring publication list of Mr. Jedwood, there was an announcement about a new work by Alfred Yule. It was titled ‘English Prose in the Nineteenth Century’ and included a series of essays (some of which had previously appeared in magazines) connected together. The final chapter focused on contemporary writers, particularly those who illustrated the author’s point—that journalism damages prose style: there was a bitter critique of certain popular writers of the time that was unlikely to be taken well. The book faced rather harsh criticism in the reviews; it couldn't be ignored (which is the safest way to handle a book by an author without a large audience), and only the most skilled critics could discuss it negatively without revealing that some of its arguments hit home. An evening newspaper that prided itself on independence humorously praised the controversial chapter, and the following day published a scornful letter from a thinly veiled correspondent who attacked both the book and the reviewer. For a moment, people talked more about Alfred Yule than they had since his famous clash with Clement Fadge.

The publisher had hoped for this. Mr Jedwood was an energetic and sanguine man, who had entered upon his business with a determination to rival in a year or so the houses which had slowly risen into commanding stability. He had no great capital, but the stroke of fortune which had wedded him to a popular novelist enabled him to count on steady profit from one source, and boundless faith in his own judgment urged him to an initial outlay which made the prudent shake their heads. He talked much of ‘the new era,’ foresaw revolutions in publishing and book-selling, planned every week a score of untried ventures which should appeal to the democratic generation just maturing; in the meantime, was ready to publish anything which seemed likely to get talked about.

The publisher had hoped for this. Mr. Jedwood was an energetic and optimistic man who had started his business with the determination to compete within a year or so with established companies that had slowly built up their strong positions. He didn't have much capital, but the lucky break of marrying a popular novelist allowed him to expect steady profits from one source, and his unwavering confidence in his own judgment pushed him to make an initial investment that left the cautious shaking their heads. He often talked about "the new era," anticipated changes in publishing and bookselling, and planned every week numerous untested projects aimed at the emerging democratic generation; in the meantime, he was ready to publish anything that seemed likely to generate buzz.

The May number of The Current, in its article headed ‘Books of the Month,’ devoted about half a page to ‘English Prose in the Nineteenth Century.’ This notice was a consummate example of the flippant style of attack. Flippancy, the most hopeless form of intellectual vice, was a characterising note of Mr Fadge’s periodical; his monthly comments on publications were already looked for with eagerness by that growing class of readers who care for nothing but what can be made matter of ridicule. The hostility of other reviewers was awkward and ineffectual compared with this venomous banter, which entertained by showing that in the book under notice there was neither entertainment nor any other kind of interest. To assail an author without increasing the number of his readers is the perfection of journalistic skill, and The Current, had it stood alone, would fully have achieved this end. As it was, silence might have been better tactics. But Mr Fadge knew that his enemy would smart under the poisoned pin-points, and that was something gained.

The May issue of The Current, in its article titled ‘Books of the Month,’ dedicated about half a page to ‘English Prose in the Nineteenth Century.’ This review was a perfect example of a sarcastic attack. Sarcasm, the most pointless form of intellectual failing, was a defining feature of Mr. Fadge’s magazine; his monthly comments on new releases were eagerly awaited by a growing group of readers who cared only for things that could be mocked. The criticism from other reviewers was clumsy and ineffective compared to this biting humor, which entertained by demonstrating that the book in question offered no entertainment or any kind of interest. To criticize an author without increasing their readership is the ultimate journalistic skill, and The Current, if it had stood alone, would have accomplished this goal completely. However, silence might have been a better strategy. But Mr. Fadge knew that his target would feel the sting of his sharp jabs, and that was a victory of sorts.

On the day that The Current appeared, its treatment of Alfred Yule was discussed in Mr Jedwood’s private office. Mr Quarmby, who had intimate relations with the publisher, happened to look in just as a young man (one of Mr Jedwood’s ‘readers’) was expressing a doubt whether Fadge himself was the author of the review.

On the day The Current was released, its coverage of Alfred Yule was talked about in Mr. Jedwood’s private office. Mr. Quarmby, who had close ties with the publisher, walked in just as a young man (one of Mr. Jedwood’s 'readers') was questioning whether Fadge was really the one who wrote the review.

‘But there’s Fadge’s thumb-mark all down the page,’ cried Mr Quarmby.

‘But there’s Fadge’s thumbprint all over the page,’ shouted Mr. Quarmby.

‘He inspired the thing, of course; but I rather think it was written by that fellow Milvain.’

‘He definitely inspired it; but I think it was actually written by that guy Milvain.’

‘Think so?’ asked the publisher.

"Think so?" the publisher asked.

‘Well, I know with certainty that the notice of Markland’s novel is his writing, and I have reasons for suspecting that he did Yule’s book as well.’

‘Well, I’m sure that the notice of Markland’s novel is his work, and I have reasons to believe he wrote Yule’s book too.’

‘Smart youngster, that,’ remarked Mr Jedwood. ‘Who is he, by-the-bye?’

‘Smart kid, that one,’ said Mr. Jedwood. ‘Who is he, by the way?’

‘Somebody’s illegitimate son, I believe,’ replied the source of trustworthy information, with a laugh. ‘Denham says he met him in New York a year or two ago, under another name.

‘Somebody’s illegitimate son, I think,’ replied the reliable source, laughing. ‘Denham says he ran into him in New York a year or two back, under a different name.

‘Excuse me,’ interposed Mr Quarmby, ‘there’s some mistake in all that.’

“Excuse me,” interrupted Mr. Quarmby, “there’s a mistake in all of that.”

He went on to state what he knew, from Yule himself, concerning Milvain’s history. Though in this instance a corrector, Mr Quarmby took an opportunity, a few hours later, of informing Mr Hinks that the attack on Yule in The Current was almost certainly written by young Milvain, with the result that when the rumour reached Yule’s ears it was delivered as an undoubted and well-known fact.

He went on to share what he knew, from Yule himself, about Milvain’s history. Although acting as a corrector, Mr. Quarmby took the chance, a few hours later, to tell Mr. Hinks that the attack on Yule in The Current was almost certainly written by young Milvain. As a result, when the rumor reached Yule, it was accepted as an undeniable and widely known fact.

It was a month prior to this that Milvain made his call upon Marian Yule, on the Sunday when her father was absent. When told of the visit, Yule assumed a manner of indifference, but his daughter understood that he was annoyed. With regard to the sisters who would shortly be living in London, he merely said that Marian must behave as discretion directed her. If she wished to invite the Miss Milvains to St Paul’s Crescent, he only begged that the times and seasons of the household might not be disturbed.

It was a month earlier that Milvain visited Marian Yule on the Sunday when her father was away. When Yule found out about the visit, he acted indifferent, but his daughter could tell he was irritated. As for the sisters who would soon be living in London, he simply stated that Marian should act as discretion advised. If she wanted to invite the Miss Milvains to St Paul’s Crescent, he only asked that the household routine not be disrupted.

As her habit was, Marian took refuge in silence. Nothing could have been more welcome to her than the proximity of Maud and Dora, but she foresaw that her own home would not be freely open to them; perhaps it might be necessary to behave with simple frankness, and let her friends know the embarrassments of the situation. But that could not be done in the first instance; the unkindness would seem too great. A day after the arrival of the girls, she received a note from Dora, and almost at once replied to it by calling at her friends’ lodgings. A week after that, Maud and Dora came to St Paul’s Crescent; it was Sunday, and Mr Yule purposely kept away from home. They had only been once to the house since then, again without meeting Mr Yule. Marian, however, visited them at their lodgings frequently; now and then she met Jasper there. The latter never spoke of her father, and there was no question of inviting him to repeat his call.

As usual, Marian sought comfort in silence. She would have welcomed the company of Maud and Dora, but she knew her home wouldn’t be fully open to them; she might need to be straightforward and let her friends know about the awkward situation. But she felt that could wait; it would seem too harsh at first. A day after the girls arrived, she got a note from Dora and quickly responded by visiting her friends' place. A week later, Maud and Dora came to St Paul’s Crescent; it was Sunday, and Mr. Yule intentionally stayed away from home. They had only visited once since then, again without encountering Mr. Yule. However, Marian frequently visited them at their lodging; she sometimes ran into Jasper there. He never brought up her father, and there was no talk of inviting him to return the visit.

In the end, Marian was obliged to speak on the subject with her mother. Mrs Yule offered an occasion by asking when the Miss Milvains were coming again.

In the end, Marian had to talk about it with her mother. Mrs. Yule provided a chance by asking when the Miss Milvains would be coming back.

‘I don’t think I shall ever ask them again,’ Marian replied.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever ask them again,’ Marian replied.

Her mother understood, and looked troubled.

Her mom understood and looked worried.

‘I must tell them how it is, that’s all,’ the girl went on. ‘They are sensible; they won’t be offended with me.’

‘I just need to tell them the truth, that’s all,’ the girl continued. ‘They’re reasonable; they won’t be upset with me.’

‘But your father has never had anything to say against them,’ urged Mrs Yule. ‘Not a word to me, Marian. I’d tell you the truth if he had.’

‘But your father has never had anything negative to say about them,’ Mrs. Yule insisted. ‘Not a word to me, Marian. I’d be honest with you if he had.’

‘It’s too disagreeable, all the same. I can’t invite them here with pleasure. Father has grown prejudiced against them all, and he won’t change. No, I shall just tell them.’

‘It’s still pretty unpleasant. I can't invite them here happily. Dad has become biased against all of them, and he won’t change his mind. No, I’ll just let them know.’

‘It’s very hard for you,’ sighed her mother. ‘If I thought I could do any good by speaking—but I can’t, my dear.’

‘It’s really tough for you,’ her mother sighed. ‘If I thought I could help by talking—but I can’t, sweetheart.’

‘I know it, mother. Let us go on as we did before.’

‘I know it, Mom. Let’s continue as we did before.’

The day after this, when Yule came home about the hour of dinner, he called Marian’s name from within the study. Marian had not left the house to-day; her work had been set, in the shape of a long task of copying from disorderly manuscript. She left the sitting-room in obedience to her father’s summons.

The day after this, when Yule came home around dinnertime, he called out Marian's name from the study. Marian hadn't left the house today; she had a long task of copying from messy manuscripts to do. She left the sitting room in response to her father's call.

‘Here’s something that will afford you amusement,’ he said, holding to her the new number of The Current, and indicating the notice of his book.

‘Here’s something that will entertain you,’ he said, handing her the latest issue of The Current and pointing out the notice for his book.

She read a few lines, then threw the thing on to the table.

She read a few lines, then tossed it onto the table.

‘That kind of writing sickens me,’ she exclaimed, with anger in her eyes. ‘Only base and heartless people can write in that way. You surely won’t let it trouble you?’

‘That kind of writing makes me sick,’ she exclaimed, with anger in her eyes. ‘Only cruel and heartless people can write like that. You’re not going to let it bother you, are you?’

‘Oh, not for a moment,’ her father answered, with exaggerated show of calm. ‘But I am surprised that you don’t see the literary merit of the work. I thought it would distinctly appeal to you.’

‘Oh, not for a second,’ her father replied, putting on a show of calm. ‘But I’m surprised you don’t recognize the literary value of the work. I thought it would really resonate with you.’

There was a strangeness in his voice, as well as in the words, which caused her to look at him inquiringly. She knew him well enough to understand that such a notice would irritate him profoundly; but why should he go out of his way to show it her, and with this peculiar acerbity of manner?

There was something odd in his voice, and in his words, that made her look at him questioningly. She knew him well enough to realize that such a comment would really bother him; but why did he feel the need to make it obvious to her, and with this strange sharpness in his tone?

‘Why do you say that, father?’

‘Why do you say that, Dad?’

‘It doesn’t occur to you who may probably have written it?’

‘Does it not cross your mind who might have written it?’

She could not miss his meaning; astonishment held her mute for a moment, then she said:

She couldn't miss what he meant; shock left her speechless for a moment, then she said:

‘Surely Mr Fadge wrote it himself?’

‘Surely Mr. Fadge wrote this himself?’

‘I am told not. I am informed on very good authority that one of his young gentlemen has the credit of it.’

‘I’ve been told no. I’ve heard from a reliable source that one of his young men is responsible for it.’

‘You refer, of course, to Mr Milvain,’ she replied quietly. ‘But I think that can’t be true.’

‘You mean Mr. Milvain,’ she replied softly. ‘But I don’t think that’s true.’

He looked keenly at her. He had expected a more decided protest.

He looked closely at her. He had anticipated a stronger objection.

‘I see no reason for disbelieving it.’

‘I see no reason to doubt it.’

‘I see every reason, until I have your evidence.’

‘I see every reason, until I have your proof.’

This was not at all Marian’s natural tone in argument with him. She was wont to be submissive.

This wasn't at all Marian's usual tone when arguing with him. She was used to being submissive.

‘I was told,’ he continued, hardening face and voice, ‘by someone who had it from Jedwood.’

‘I was told,’ he continued, his face and voice growing serious, ‘by someone who heard it from Jedwood.’

Yule was conscious of untruth in this statement, but his mood would not allow him to speak ingenuously, and he wished to note the effect upon Marian of what he said. There were two beliefs in him: on the one hand, he recognised Fadge in every line of the writing; on the other, he had a perverse satisfaction in convincing himself that it was Milvain who had caught so successfully the master’s manner. He was not the kind of man who can resist an opportunity of justifying, to himself and others, a course into which he has been led by mingled feelings, all more or less unjustifiable.

Yule felt there was a lie in his statement, but his mood wouldn't let him speak honestly, and he wanted to see how his words affected Marian. He held two beliefs: on one hand, he recognized Fadge's style in every line he read; on the other, he took a twisted pleasure in convincing himself that it was Milvain who had captured the master's way of speaking so well. He was the kind of person who couldn't resist the chance to justify, to himself and others, a path he had taken out of mixed feelings, all of which were somewhat unjustifiable.

‘How should Jedwood know?’ asked Marian.

‘How should Jedwood know?’ asked Marian.

Yule shrugged his shoulders.

Yule shrugged.

‘As if these things didn’t get about among editors and publishers!’

'As if this stuff didn't circulate among editors and publishers!'

‘In this case, there’s a mistake.’

‘In this case, there’s an error.’

‘And why, pray?’ His voice trembled with choler. ‘Why need there be a mistake?’

‘And why, please?’ His voice shook with anger. ‘Why does there need to be a mistake?’

‘Because Mr Milvain is quite incapable of reviewing your book in such a spirit.’

‘Because Mr. Milvain is completely unable to review your book in that kind of spirit.’

‘There is your mistake, my girl. Milvain will do anything that’s asked of him, provided he’s well enough paid.’

‘That’s your mistake, my girl. Milvain will do whatever is asked of him, as long as he’s paid well enough.’

Marian reflected. When she raised her eyes again they were perfectly calm.

Marian thought for a moment. When she looked up again, her eyes were completely calm.

‘What has led you to think that?’

'What made you think that?'

‘Don’t I know the type of man? Noscitur ex sociis—have you Latin enough for that?’

‘Don’t I know the type of guy? You can tell what someone is by the company they keep—do you know enough Latin for that?’

‘You’ll find that you are misinformed,’ Marian replied, and therewith went from the room.

‘You’re mistaken,’ Marian replied, and with that, she left the room.

She could not trust herself to converse longer. A resentment such as her father had never yet excited in her—such, indeed, as she had seldom, if ever, conceived—threatened to force utterance for itself in words which would change the current of her whole life. She saw her father in his worst aspect, and her heart was shaken by an unnatural revolt from him. Let his assurance of what he reported be ever so firm, what right had he to make this use of it? His behaviour was spiteful. Suppose he entertained suspicions which seemed to make it his duty to warn her against Milvain, this was not the way to go about it. A father actuated by simple motives of affection would never speak and look thus.

She couldn't trust herself to keep talking much longer. A resentment like what her father had stirred in her before—something she had rarely, if ever, felt—threatened to spill out in ways that could change her entire life. She saw her father at his worst, and her heart was shaken by a strange rejection of him. Regardless of how firmly he believed what he said, what right did he have to use it like this? His behavior was mean-spirited. Even if he had suspicions that he felt compelled to share as a warning about Milvain, this wasn't the way to do it. A father driven by genuine love wouldn't speak or act like that.

It was the hateful spirit of literary rancour that ruled him; the spirit that made people eager to believe all evil, that blinded and maddened. Never had she felt so strongly the unworthiness of the existence to which she was condemned. That contemptible review, and now her father’s ignoble passion—such things were enough to make all literature appear a morbid excrescence upon human life.

It was the bitter spirit of literary resentment that controlled him; the spirit that made people quick to believe the worst, that blinded and drove them to madness. She had never felt so intensely the unworthiness of the life she was trapped in. That despicable review, and now her father's shameful obsession—these things were enough to make all literature seem like a sickly growth on human life.

Forgetful of the time, she sat in her bedroom until a knock at the door, and her mother’s voice, admonished her that dinner was waiting. An impulse all but caused her to say that she would rather not go down for the meal, that she wished to be left alone. But this would be weak peevishness. She just looked at the glass to see that her face bore no unwonted signs, and descended to take her place as usual.

Forgetful of the time, she sat in her bedroom until a knock at the door and her mother's voice reminded her that dinner was ready. She had a sudden urge to say she didn't want to go down for the meal and that she wanted to be left alone. But that would just be immature sulking. She glanced at the mirror to make sure her face showed no unusual signs and then went downstairs to take her usual place.

Throughout the dinner there passed no word of conversation. Yule was at his blackest; he gobbled a few mouthfuls, then occupied himself with the evening paper. On rising, he said to Marian:

Throughout the dinner, there was no conversation. Yule was in a really dark mood; he swallowed a few bites, then focused on the evening paper. When he got up, he said to Marian:

‘Have you copied the whole of that?’

‘Did you copy all of that?’

The tone would have been uncivil if addressed to an impertinent servant.

The tone would have been rude if directed at a disrespectful servant.

‘Not much more than half,’ was the cold reply.

‘Not much more than half,’ was the cold response.

‘Can you finish it to-night?’

"Can you finish it tonight?"

‘I’m afraid not. I am going out.’

‘I’m afraid not. I'm heading out.’

‘Then I must do it myself’

‘Then I have to do it myself’

And he went to the study.

And he went to the office.

Mrs Yule was in an anguish of nervousness.

Mrs. Yule was in a state of intense nervousness.

‘What is it, dear?’ she asked of Marian, in a pleading whisper. ‘Oh, don’t quarrel with your father! Don’t!’

‘What’s wrong, dear?’ she asked Marian softly, almost begging. ‘Oh, don’t argue with your father! Please don’t!’

‘I can’t be a slave, mother, and I can’t be treated unjustly.’

‘I can’t be a slave, Mom, and I can’t be treated unfairly.’

‘What is it? Let me go and speak to him.’

‘What’s going on? Let me go talk to him.’

‘It’s no use. We CAN’T live in terror.’

‘It’s pointless. We CAN’T live in fear.’

For Mrs Yule this was unimaginable disaster. She had never dreamt that Marian, the still, gentle Marian, could be driven to revolt. And it had come with the suddenness of a thunderclap. She wished to ask what had taken place between father and daughter in the brief interview before dinner; but Marian gave her no chance, quitting the room upon those last trembling words.

For Mrs. Yule, this was an unimaginable disaster. She had never imagined that Marian, the quiet, gentle Marian, could be pushed to revolt. And it had happened as suddenly as a thunderclap. She wanted to ask what had happened between father and daughter during the brief meeting before dinner; but Marian didn’t give her a chance, leaving the room after those last trembling words.

The girl had resolved to visit her friends, the sisters, and tell them that in future they must never come to see her at home. But it was no easy thing for her to stifle her conscience, and leave her father to toil over that copying which had need of being finished. Not her will, but her exasperated feeling, had replied to him that she would not do the work; already it astonished her that she had really spoken such words. And as the throbbing of her pulses subsided, she saw more clearly into the motives of this wretched tumult which possessed her. Her mind was harassed with a fear lest in defending Milvain she had spoken foolishly. Had he not himself said to her that he might be guilty of base things, just to make his way? Perhaps it was the intolerable pain of imagining that he had already made good his words, which robbed her of self-control and made her meet her father’s rudeness with defiance.

The girl had decided to visit her friends, the sisters, and tell them that they should never come to see her at home again. But it wasn't easy for her to quiet her conscience and leave her father to work on the copying that needed to be finished. It wasn't her intention, but her frustrated feelings had made her tell him she wouldn’t do the work; she was already shocked that she had actually said such things. As her racing heart slowed down, she began to understand better the reasons behind the turmoil that overwhelmed her. She was troubled by the fear that in defending Milvain she had been foolish. Hadn't he himself mentioned that he might do some shady things just to get ahead? Maybe it was the unbearable thought that he had already lived up to those words that stripped her of her self-control and made her respond defiantly to her father’s rudeness.

Impossible to carry out her purpose; she could not deliberately leave the house and spend some hours away with the thought of such wrath and misery left behind her. Gradually she was returning to her natural self; fear and penitence were chill at her heart.

Impossible to carry out her goal; she couldn't just leave the house and spend hours away knowing the anger and sadness she was leaving behind. Slowly, she was returning to her true self; fear and regret were heavy in her heart.

She went down to the study, tapped, and entered.

She walked into the study, knocked, and came in.

‘Father, I said something that I did not really mean. Of course I shall go on with the copying and finish it as soon as possible.’

‘Dad, I said something I didn’t really mean. Of course, I’ll keep copying and finish it as soon as I can.’

‘You will do nothing of the kind, my girl.’ He was in his usual place, already working at Marian’s task; he spoke in a low, thick voice. ‘Spend your evening as you choose, I have no need of you.’

‘You will not do that, my girl.’ He was in his usual spot, already working on Marian’s task; he spoke in a low, thick voice. ‘Spend your evening however you like, I don’t need you.’

‘I behaved very ill-temperedly. Forgive me, father.’

‘I was really short-tempered. Please forgive me, Dad.’

‘Have the goodness to go away. You hear me?’

“Please go away. Do you hear me?”

His eyes were inflamed, and his discoloured teeth showed themselves savagely. Marian durst not, really durst not approach him. She hesitated, but once more a sense of hateful injustice moved within her, and she went away as quietly as she had entered.

His eyes were red, and his stained teeth stood out harshly. Marian really couldn't bring herself to approach him. She hesitated, but again a feeling of unfairness rose up inside her, and she left as quietly as she had come.

She said to herself that now it was her perfect right to go whither she would. But the freedom was only in theory; her submissive and timid nature kept her at home—and upstairs in her own room; for, if she went to sit with her mother, of necessity she must talk about what had happened, and that she felt unable to do. Some friend to whom she could unbosom all her sufferings would now have been very precious to her, but Maud and Dora were her only intimates, and to them she might not make the full confession which gives solace.

She told herself that now it was her right to go wherever she wanted. But that freedom was just an idea; her submissive and timid nature kept her at home—and upstairs in her own room. If she went to sit with her mother, she would have to talk about what had happened, and she didn’t feel ready for that. A friend to whom she could share all her struggles would be really valuable to her right now, but Maud and Dora were her only close friends, and she couldn’t confess everything to them, which would have brought her comfort.

Mrs Yule did not venture to intrude upon her daughter’s privacy. That Marian neither went out nor showed herself in the house proved her troubled state, but the mother had no confidence in her power to comfort. At the usual time she presented herself in the study with her husband’s coffee; the face which was for an instant turned to her did not invite conversation, but distress obliged her to speak.

Mrs. Yule didn’t dare to invade her daughter’s privacy. The fact that Marian neither went out nor made an appearance in the house indicated her troubled state, but the mother didn’t believe she could offer any real comfort. At the usual time, she entered the study with her husband’s coffee; the face that briefly turned toward her didn’t invite conversation, but the distress made her feel she had to say something.

‘Why are you cross with Marian, Alfred?’

‘Why are you mad at Marian, Alfred?’

‘You had better ask what she means by her extraordinary behaviour.’

‘You should ask what she means by her unusual behavior.’

A word of harsh rebuff was the most she had expected. Thus encouraged, she timidly put another question.

A sharp response was all she had anticipated. Feeling encouraged, she cautiously asked another question.

‘How has she behaved?’

"How has she acted?"

‘I suppose you have ears?’

"I assume you can hear?"

‘But wasn’t there something before that? You spoke so angry to her.’

‘But wasn’t there something before that? You spoke to her so angrily.’

‘Spoke so angry, did I? She is out, I suppose?’

‘Did I really speak so angrily? I guess she’s not here?’

‘No, she hasn’t gone out.’

'No, she hasn't left.'

‘That’ll do. Don’t disturb me any longer.’

‘That’s enough. Please don’t bother me anymore.’

She did not venture to linger.

She didn’t hang around.

The breakfast next morning seemed likely to pass without any interchange of words. But when Yule was pushing back his chair, Marian—who looked pale and ill—addressed a question to him about the work she would ordinarily have pursued to-day at the Reading-room. He answered in a matter-of-fact tone, and for a few minutes they talked on the subject much as at any other time. Half an hour after, Marian set forth for the Museum in the usual way. Her father stayed at home.

The breakfast the next morning felt like it would go by without any conversation. But as Yule was pushing back his chair, Marian—looking pale and unwell—asked him a question about the work she usually would have done that day at the Reading room. He replied in a straightforward manner, and for a few minutes, they discussed the topic like they would at any other time. Half an hour later, Marian left for the Museum as usual. Her father stayed home.

It was the end of the episode for the present. Marian felt that the best thing would be to ignore what had happened, as her father evidently purposed doing. She had asked his forgiveness, and it was harsh in him to have repelled her; but by now she was able once more to take into consideration all his trials and toils, his embittered temper and the new wound he had received. That he should resume his wonted manner was sufficient evidence of regret on his part. Gladly she would have unsaid her resentful words; she had been guilty of a childish outburst of temper, and perhaps had prepared worse sufferings for the future.

It was the end of the episode for now. Marian thought it would be best to just ignore what had happened, just like her father seemed to want to do. She had asked for his forgiveness, and it felt cruel of him to push her away; but by now, she was able to consider all his struggles and hardships, his bitter mood and the new pain he was dealing with. The fact that he returned to his usual behavior was enough proof that he regretted his actions. She would have gladly taken back her hurtful words; she had acted out in a childish fit of anger, and perhaps had set the stage for worse troubles down the line.

And yet, perhaps it was as well that her father should be warned. She was not all submission, he might try her beyond endurance; there might come a day when perforce she must stand face to face with him, and make it known she had her own claims upon life. It was as well he should hold that possibility in view.

And yet, maybe it was a good idea for her father to be warned. She wasn't just someone who would submit; he might push her too far. There might come a day when she would have to confront him and make it clear that she had her own rights to live her life. It was better for him to keep that possibility in mind.

This evening no work was expected of her. Not long after dinner she prepared for going out; to her mother she mentioned she should be back about ten o’clock.

This evening, she wasn't expected to work. Shortly after dinner, she got ready to go out; she told her mother she would be back around ten o'clock.

‘Give my kind regards to them, dear—if you like to,’ said Mrs Yule just above her breath.

‘Send my best regards to them, dear—if you want to,’ Mrs. Yule said softly.

‘Certainly I will.’

"Of course, I will."





CHAPTER XIV. RECRUITS

Marian walked to the nearest point of Camden Road, and there waited for an omnibus, which conveyed her to within easy reach of the street where Maud and Dora Milvain had their lodgings. This was at the north-east of Regent’s Park, and no great distance from Mornington Road, where Jasper still dwelt.

Marian walked to the closest spot on Camden Road and waited for a bus, which took her within a short distance of the street where Maud and Dora Milvain lived. This was in the northeast part of Regent’s Park, and not far from Mornington Road, where Jasper still lived.

On learning that the young ladies were at home and alone, she ascended to the second floor and knocked.

On finding out that the young women were at home and by themselves, she went up to the second floor and knocked.

‘That’s right!’ exclaimed Dora’s pleasant voice, as the door opened and the visitor showed herself. And then came the friendly greeting which warmed Marian’s heart, the greeting which until lately no house in London could afford her.

‘That’s right!’ exclaimed Dora’s cheerful voice as the door opened and the visitor stepped in. Then came the warm welcome that lifted Marian’s spirits, a greeting that no home in London had offered her until recently.

The girls looked oddly out of place in this second-floor sitting-room, with its vulgar furniture and paltry ornaments. Maud especially so, for her fine figure was well displayed by the dress of mourning, and her pale, handsome face had as little congruence as possible with a background of humble circumstances.

The girls looked strangely out of place in this second-floor sitting room, with its tacky furniture and cheap decorations. Maud especially stood out, as her elegant figure was highlighted by her mourning dress, and her pale, attractive face seemed completely mismatched with the modest surroundings.

Dora impressed one as a simpler nature, but she too had distinctly the note of refinement which was out of harmony with these surroundings. They occupied only two rooms, the sleeping-chamber being double-bedded; they purchased food for themselves and prepared their own meals, excepting dinner. During the first week a good many tears were shed by both of them; it was not easy to transfer themselves from the comfortable country home to this bare corner of lodgers’ London. Maud, as appeared at the first glance, was less disposed than her sister to make the best of things; her countenance wore an expression rather of discontent than of sorrow, and she did not talk with the same readiness as Dora.

Dora struck one as someone with a simpler nature, but she also had a clear sense of refinement that didn’t quite fit in with their surroundings. They had only two rooms, with the bedroom having two beds; they bought their own groceries and cooked their own meals, except for dinner. During the first week, both of them shed quite a few tears; it wasn't easy for them to move from their comfy country home to this bare corner of lodgers’ London. Maud, as it seemed at first glance, was less inclined than her sister to make the best of things; her face showed more discontent than sorrow, and she didn’t engage in conversation as readily as Dora.

On the round table lay a number of books; when disturbed, the sisters had been engaged in studious reading.

On the round table sat several books; when interrupted, the sisters had been focused on studying.

‘I’m not sure that I do right in coming again so soon,’ said Marian as she took off her things. ‘Your time is precious.’

‘I’m not sure if it’s right for me to come back so soon,’ said Marian as she took off her things. ‘Your time is valuable.’

‘So are you,’ replied Dora, laughing. ‘It’s only under protest that we work in the evening when we have been hard at it all day.’

‘So are you,’ replied Dora, laughing. ‘We only work in the evening when we’ve been busy all day because we have to.’

‘We have news for you, too,’ said Maud, who sat languidly on an uneasy chair.

‘We have news for you, too,’ said Maud, who sat lazily on an uncomfortable chair.

‘Good, I hope?’

‘Good, right?’

‘Someone called to see us yesterday. I dare say you can guess who it was.’

‘Someone came to visit us yesterday. I bet you can guess who it was.’

‘Amy, perhaps?’

"Amy, maybe?"

‘Yes.’

"Yep."

‘And how did you like her?’

‘So, what did you think of her?’

The sisters seemed to have a difficulty in answering. Dora was the first to speak.

The sisters seemed to be having a hard time answering. Dora was the first to speak.

‘We thought she was sadly out of spirits. Indeed she told us that she hasn’t been very well lately. But I think we shall like her if we come to know her better.’

‘We thought she seemed pretty down. In fact, she told us that she hasn’t been feeling well lately. But I think we’ll like her once we get to know her better.’

‘It was rather awkward, Marian,’ the elder sister explained. ‘We felt obliged to say something about Mr Reardon’s books, but we haven’t read any of them yet, you know, so I just said that I hoped soon to read his new novel. “I suppose you have seen reviews of it?” she asked at once. Of course I ought to have had the courage to say no, but I admitted that I had seen one or two—Jasper showed us them. She looked very much annoyed, and after that we didn’t find much to talk about.’

‘It was kind of awkward, Marian,’ the older sister said. ‘We felt like we had to say something about Mr. Reardon’s books, but we haven’t read any of them yet, you know, so I just said that I hoped to read his new novel soon. “I guess you’ve seen reviews of it?” she asked right away. I should have had the guts to say no, but I admitted that I had seen one or two—Jasper showed them to us. She looked really annoyed, and after that, we didn’t have much to talk about.’

‘The reviews are very disagreeable,’ said Marian with a troubled face. ‘I have read the book since I saw you the other day, and I am afraid it isn’t good, but I have seen many worse novels more kindly reviewed.’

‘The reviews are really bad,’ said Marian with a worried look. ‘I’ve read the book since I saw you the other day, and I’m afraid it’s not good, but I’ve seen much worse novels get better reviews.’

‘Jasper says it’s because Mr Reardon has no friends among the journalists.’

‘Jasper says it’s because Mr. Reardon doesn’t have any friends among the journalists.’

‘Still,’ replied Marian, ‘I’m afraid they couldn’t have given the book much praise, if they wrote honestly. Did Amy ask you to go and see her?’

‘Still,’ replied Marian, ‘I’m afraid they couldn’t have given the book much praise if they were being honest. Did Amy ask you to go see her?’

‘Yes, but she said it was uncertain how long they would be living at their present address. And really, we can’t feel sure whether we should be welcome or not just now.’

‘Yes, but she mentioned it was unclear how long they would be living at their current address. And honestly, we can’t be sure whether we should feel welcome or not at the moment.’

Marian listened with bent head. She too had to make known to her friends that they were not welcome in her own home; but she knew not how to utter words which would sound so unkind.

Marian listened with her head down. She also needed to let her friends know that they weren't welcome in her home; but she didn't know how to say something that would sound so harsh.

‘Your brother,’ she said after a pause, ‘will soon find suitable friends for you.’

‘Your brother,’ she said after a pause, ‘will soon find the right friends for you.’

‘Before long,’ replied Dora, with a look of amusement, ‘he’s going to take us to call on Mrs Boston Wright. I hardly thought he was serious at first, but he says he really means it.’

‘Before long,’ replied Dora, with an amused look, ‘he’s going to take us to visit Mrs. Boston Wright. I really didn’t think he was serious at first, but he says he’s dead serious about it.’

Marian grew more and more silent. At home she had felt that it would not be difficult to explain her troubles to these sympathetic girls, but now the time had come for speaking, she was oppressed by shame and anxiety. True, there was no absolute necessity for making the confession this evening, and if she chose to resist her father’s prejudice, things might even go on in a seemingly natural way. But the loneliness of her life had developed in her a sensitiveness which could not endure situations such as the present; difficulties which are of small account to people who take their part in active social life, harassed her to the destruction of all peace. Dora was not long in noticing the dejected mood which had come upon her friend.

Marian grew increasingly quiet. At home, she had thought it would be easy to share her troubles with these understanding girls, but now that the moment to speak had arrived, she was overwhelmed by shame and anxiety. True, there was no pressing need to confess this evening, and if she decided to push back against her father’s bias, things might even continue in a seemingly normal way. But the isolation in her life had made her particularly sensitive, unable to handle situations like this one; challenges that seemed minor to those engaged in an active social life weighed heavily on her, disrupting any sense of peace. Dora quickly noticed the downcast mood that had settled over her friend.

‘What’s troubling you, Marian?’

‘What’s bothering you, Marian?’

‘Something I can hardly bear to speak of. Perhaps it will be the end of your friendship for me, and I should find it very hard to go back to my old solitude.’

‘Something I can barely talk about. Maybe it will end your friendship with me, and I'd find it really hard to return to my old loneliness.’

The girls gazed at her, in doubt at first whether she spoke seriously.

The girls looked at her, initially unsure if she was serious.

‘What can you mean?’ Dora exclaimed. ‘What crime have you been committing?’

‘What do you mean?’ Dora exclaimed. ‘What crime have you been committing?’

Maud, who leaned with her elbows on the table, searched Marian’s face curiously, but said nothing.

Maud, who rested her elbows on the table, looked at Marian’s face with curiosity but didn’t say anything.

‘Has Mr Milvain shown you the new number of The Current?’ Marian went on to ask.

‘Has Mr. Milvain shown you the latest issue of The Current?’ Marian asked.

They replied with a negative, and Maud added:

They replied no, and Maud added:

‘He has nothing in it this month, except a review.’

‘He has nothing in it this month, except for a review.’

‘A review?’ repeated Marian in a low voice.

"A review?" Marian echoed softly.

‘Yes; of somebody’s novel.’

"Yes, from someone’s novel."

‘Markland’s,’ supplied Dora.

"Markland's," said Dora.

Marian drew a breath, but remained for a moment with her eyes cast down.

Marian took a breath but stayed for a moment with her eyes looking down.

‘Do go on, dear,’ urged Dora. ‘Whatever are you going to tell us?’

‘Please continue, dear,’ Dora encouraged. ‘What are you going to share with us?’

‘There’s a notice of father’s book,’ continued the other, ‘a very ill-natured one; it’s written by the editor, Mr Fadge. Father and he have been very unfriendly for a long time. Perhaps Mr Milvain has told you something about it?’

‘There's a notice of Dad's book,’ the other continued, ‘a really nasty one; it’s written by the editor, Mr. Fadge. Dad and he have been on bad terms for a long time. Maybe Mr. Milvain has mentioned it to you?’

Dora replied that he had.

Dora replied that he did.

‘I don’t know how it is in other professions,’ Marian resumed, ‘but I hope there is less envy, hatred and malice than in this of ours. The name of literature is often made hateful to me by the things I hear and read. My father has never been very fortunate, and many things have happened to make him bitter against the men who succeed; he has often quarrelled with people who were at first his friends, but never so seriously with anyone as with Mr Fadge. His feeling of enmity goes so far that it includes even those who are in any way associated with Mr Fadge. I am sorry to say’—she looked with painful anxiety from one to the other of her hearers—‘this has turned him against your brother, and—’

‘I don’t know how it is in other professions,’ Marian continued, ‘but I hope there’s less envy, hatred, and malice than there is in ours. The name of literature is often made to feel hateful to me by the things I hear and read. My father has never been very lucky, and a lot of things have happened to make him bitter towards those who succeed; he has often argued with people who were once his friends, but never as seriously as with Mr. Fadge. His resentment extends so far that it even includes anyone associated with Mr. Fadge. I’m sorry to say’—she looked with painful anxiety from one listener to another—‘this has turned him against your brother, and—’

Her voice was checked by agitation.

Her voice was shaken by nerves.

‘We were afraid of this,’ said Dora, in a tone of sympathy.

‘We were worried about this,’ said Dora, in a sympathetic tone.

‘Jasper feared it might be the case,’ added Maud, more coldly, though with friendliness.

‘Jasper was worried it could be true,’ Maud added, more coldly, though still friendly.

‘Why I speak of it at all,’ Marian hastened to say, ‘is because I am so afraid it should make a difference between yourselves and me.’

‘The reason I mention it at all,’ Marian quickly added, ‘is that I’m really worried it might create a divide between you and me.’

‘Oh! don’t think that!’ Dora exclaimed.

‘Oh! don’t think that!’ Dora said.

‘I am so ashamed,’ Marian went on in an uncertain tone, ‘but I think it will be better if I don’t ask you to come and see me. It sounds ridiculous; it is ridiculous and shameful. I couldn’t complain if you refused to have anything more to do with me.’

‘I’m so ashamed,’ Marian continued hesitantly, ‘but I think it’s better if I don’t invite you to come see me. It sounds silly; it is silly and embarrassing. I couldn’t blame you if you decided to cut ties with me completely.’

‘Don’t let it trouble you,’ urged Maud, with perhaps a trifle more of magnanimity in her voice than was needful. We quite understand. Indeed, it shan’t make any difference to us.’

‘Don’t let it bother you,’ Maud urged, maybe sounding a bit more generous than necessary. We completely get it. In fact, it won’t change anything for us.’

But Marian had averted her face, and could not meet these assurances with any show of pleasure. Now that the step was taken she felt that her behaviour had been very weak. Unreasonable harshness such as her father’s ought to have been met more steadily; she had no right to make it an excuse for such incivility to her friends. Yet only in some such way as this could she make known to Jasper Milvain how her father regarded him, which she felt it necessary to do. Now his sisters would tell him, and henceforth there would be a clear understanding on both sides. That state of things was painful to her, but it was better than ambiguous relations.

But Marian had turned away and couldn't respond to these reassurances with any sense of happiness. Now that the decision had been made, she felt that her behavior had been very weak. An unreasonable harshness like her father's should have been met more firmly; she had no right to use it as an excuse for being rude to her friends. Yet this was the only way she could let Jasper Milvain know how her father felt about him, which she felt was necessary. Now his sisters would inform him, and from now on, there would be a clear understanding on both sides. That situation was painful for her, but it was better than having unclear relationships.

‘Jasper is very sorry about it,’ said Dora, glancing rapidly at Marian.

‘Jasper is really sorry about it,’ said Dora, quickly looking at Marian.

‘But his connection with Mr Fadge came about in such a natural way,’ added the eldest sister. ‘And it was impossible for him to refuse opportunities.’

‘But his connection with Mr. Fadge happened so naturally,’ added the eldest sister. ‘And it was impossible for him to turn down the opportunities.’

‘Impossible; I know,’ Marian replied earnestly. ‘Don’t think that I wish to justify my father. But I can understand him, and it must be very difficult for you to do so. You can’t know, as I do, how intensely he has suffered in these wretched, ignoble quarrels. If only you will let me come here still, in the same way, and still be as friendly to me. My home has never been a place to which I could have invited friends with any comfort, even if I had had any to invite. There were always reasons—but I can’t speak of them.’

“Impossible; I know,” Marian replied earnestly. “Don’t think that I want to defend my father. But I can understand him, and it must be really hard for you to do so. You can’t see, as I do, how deeply he has suffered in these miserable, shameful arguments. If only you would let me come here still, like before, and still be as friendly to me. My home has never been a place where I could invite friends comfortably, even if I had any to invite. There were always reasons—but I can’t talk about them.”

‘My dear Marian,’ appealed Dora, ‘don’t distress yourself so! Do believe that nothing whatever has happened to change our feeling to you. Has there, Maud?’

‘My dear Marian,’ Dora said, ‘please don’t upset yourself! Truly believe that nothing has happened to change how we feel about you. Has it, Maud?’

‘Nothing whatever. We are not unreasonable girls, Marian.’

‘Nothing at all. We’re not unreasonable girls, Marian.’

‘I am more grateful to you than I can say.’

‘I am more grateful to you than I can express.’

It had seemed as if Marian must give way to the emotions which all but choked her voice; she overcame them, however, and presently was able to talk in pretty much her usual way, though when she smiled it was but faintly. Maud tried to lead her thoughts in another direction by speaking of work in which she and Dora were engaged. Already the sisters were doing a new piece of compilation for Messrs Jolly and Monk; it was more exacting than their initial task for the book market, and would take a much longer time.

It seemed like Marian would give in to the emotions that nearly choked her voice; however, she managed to overcome them and was soon able to speak almost as she usually did, though her smile was faint. Maud tried to steer her thoughts elsewhere by talking about the work she and Dora were involved in. The sisters were already working on a new compilation for Messrs Jolly and Monk; it was more challenging than their first task for the book market and would take much longer to complete.

A couple of hours went by, and Marian had just spoken of taking her leave, when a man’s step was heard rapidly ascending the nearest flight of stairs.

A couple of hours passed, and Marian had just mentioned leaving when a man’s footsteps were heard quickly coming up the nearest flight of stairs.

‘Here’s Jasper,’ remarked Dora, and in a moment there sounded a short, sharp summons at the door.

‘Here’s Jasper,’ Dora said, and a moment later, there was a quick, sharp knock at the door.

Jasper it was; he came in with radiant face, his eyes blinking before the lamplight.

Jasper! He walked in with a bright smile, his eyes blinking in the lamp light.

‘Well, girls! Ha! how do you do, Miss Yule? I had just the vaguest sort of expectation that you might be here. It seemed a likely night; I don’t know why. I say, Dora, we really must get two or three decent easy-chairs for your room. I’ve seen some outside a second-hand furniture shop in Hampstead Road, about six shillings apiece. There’s no sitting on chairs such as these.’

‘Well, girls! Ha! How are you, Miss Yule? I had a feeling you might show up. It seemed like a good night for it; not sure why. I say, Dora, we really need to get two or three nice, comfy chairs for your room. I saw some outside a second-hand furniture shop on Hampstead Road, about six shillings each. You can't sit on chairs like these.’

That on which he tried to dispose himself, when he had flung aside his trappings, creaked and shivered ominously.

That which he tried to settle into, after tossing aside his gear, creaked and shivered ominously.

‘You hear? I shall come plump on to the floor, if I don’t mind. My word, what a day I have had! I’ve just been trying what I really could do in one day if I worked my hardest. Now just listen; it deserves to be chronicled for the encouragement of aspiring youth. I got up at 7.30, and whilst I breakfasted I read through a volume I had to review. By 10.30 the review was written—three-quarters of a column of the Evening Budget.’

‘You hear me? I'm going to fall right onto the floor if I'm not careful. Wow, what a day I've had! I’ve just been testing how much I can really accomplish in a single day if I really push myself. Now just listen; this should be recorded for the motivation of young people. I got up at 7:30, and while I had breakfast, I read through a book I needed to review. By 10:30, the review was written—three-quarters of a column for the Evening Budget.’

‘Who is the unfortunate author?’ interrupted Maud, caustically.

“Who is the unlucky author?” Maud interrupted, sharply.

‘Not unfortunate at all. I had to crack him up; otherwise I couldn’t have done the job so quickly. It’s the easiest thing in the world to write laudation; only an inexperienced grumbler would declare it was easier to find fault. The book was Billington’s “Vagaries”; pompous idiocy, of course, but he lives in a big house and gives dinners. Well, from 10.30 to 11, I smoked a cigar and reflected, feeling that the day wasn’t badly begun. At eleven I was ready to write my Saturday causerie for the Will o’ the Wisp; it took me till close upon one o’clock, which was rather too long. I can’t afford more than an hour and a half for that job. At one, I rushed out to a dirty little eating-house in Hampstead Road. Was back again by a quarter to two, having in the meantime sketched a paper for The West End. Pipe in mouth, I sat down to leisurely artistic work; by five, half the paper was done; the other half remains for to-morrow. From five to half-past I read four newspapers and two magazines, and from half-past to a quarter to six I jotted down several ideas that had come to me whilst reading. At six I was again in the dirty eating-house, satisfying a ferocious hunger. Home once more at 6.45, and for two hours wrote steadily at a long affair I have in hand for The Current. Then I came here, thinking hard all the way. What say you to this? Have I earned a night’s repose?’

‘Not unfortunate at all. I had to make him laugh; otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to get the job done so quickly. Writing praise is the easiest thing in the world; only an inexperienced complainer would say it’s easier to criticize. The book was Billington’s “Vagaries”; pompous nonsense, of course, but he lives in a big house and hosts dinners. Well, from 10:30 to 11, I smoked a cigar and reflected, feeling like the day was starting off well. At eleven, I was ready to write my Saturday piece for the Will o’ the Wisp; it took me until almost one o’clock, which was a bit too long. I can’t afford more than an hour and a half for that task. At one, I rushed out to a dingy little diner on Hampstead Road. I was back by a quarter to two, having in the meantime sketched a paper for The West End. With a pipe in my mouth, I sat down to do some relaxed artistic work; by five, half the paper was done; the other half will wait for tomorrow. From five to half-past, I read four newspapers and two magazines, and from half-past to a quarter to six, I jotted down several ideas that came to me while reading. At six, I was back in the dingy diner, satisfying a huge appetite. Home again at 6:45, and for two hours, I wrote steadily on a lengthy piece I’m working on for The Current. Then I came here, thinking hard all the way. What do you think? Have I earned a night’s rest?’

‘And what’s the value of it all?’ asked Maud.

‘And what's the point of it all?’ asked Maud.

‘Probably from ten to twelve guineas, if I calculated.’

'Probably between ten and twelve guineas, if I had to guess.'

‘I meant, what was the literary value of it?’ said his sister, with a smile.

"I meant, what was the literary value of it?" his sister said with a smile.

‘Equal to that of the contents of a mouldy nut.’

‘As bad as the contents of a moldy nut.’

‘Pretty much what I thought.’

"Pretty much what I expected."

‘Oh, but it answers the purpose,’ urged Dora, ‘and it does no one any harm.’

‘Oh, but it serves its purpose,’ Dora insisted, ‘and it doesn’t harm anyone.’

‘Honest journey-work!’ cried Jasper. ‘There are few men in London capable of such a feat. Many a fellow could write more in quantity, but they couldn’t command my market. It’s rubbish, but rubbish of a very special kind, of fine quality.’

‘Honest journey-work!’ shouted Jasper. ‘There are few men in London who can pull off something like this. A lot of guys could produce more, but they wouldn’t be able to sell it like I can. It’s garbage, but it’s a very specific kind of garbage, high quality.’

Marian had not yet spoken, save a word or two in reply to Jasper’s greeting; now and then she just glanced at him, but for the most part her eyes were cast down. Now Jasper addressed her.

Marian hadn’t said much, just a word or two in response to Jasper’s greeting; occasionally she glanced at him, but for the most part her eyes were downcast. Now Jasper spoke to her.

‘A year ago, Miss Yule, I shouldn’t have believed myself capable of such activity. In fact I wasn’t capable of it then.’

‘A year ago, Miss Yule, I wouldn’t have thought I could do such a thing. In fact, I wasn’t able to then.’

‘You think such work won’t be too great a strain upon you?’ she asked.

‘Do you think that kind of work won’t be too much of a strain on you?’ she asked.

‘Oh, this isn’t a specimen day, you know. To-morrow I shall very likely do nothing but finish my West End article, in an easy two or three hours. There’s no knowing; I might perhaps keep up the high pressure if I tried. But then I couldn’t dispose of all the work. Little by little—or perhaps rather quicker than that—I shall extend my scope. For instance, I should like to do two or three leaders a week for one of the big dailies. I can’t attain unto that just yet.’

‘Oh, this isn’t a great day, you know. Tomorrow, I’ll probably just finish my West End article in an easy two or three hours. Who knows; maybe I could keep up the momentum if I really focused. But then I wouldn’t be able to handle all the work. Little by little—or maybe a bit faster than that—I’ll broaden my focus. For example, I’d love to write two or three opinion pieces a week for one of the major newspapers. I can’t quite get there yet.’

‘Not political leaders?’

‘Not political figures?’

‘By no means. That’s not my line. The kind of thing in which one makes a column out of what would fill six lines of respectable prose. You call a cigar a “convoluted weed,” and so on, you know; that passes for facetiousness. I’ve never really tried my hand at that style yet; I shouldn’t wonder if I managed it brilliantly. Some day I’ll write a few exercises; just take two lines of some good prose writer, and expand them into twenty, in half-a-dozen different ways. Excellent mental gymnastics!’

‘Definitely not. That’s not my style. It's the kind of thing where you turn what could fill six lines of decent writing into a full column. You call a cigar a “twisted plant,” and so on, you know; that counts as humor. I’ve never really attempted that style yet; I wouldn't be surprised if I did it exceptionally well. One day, I’ll write a few practice pieces; just take two lines from some good author and stretch them into twenty, in half a dozen different ways. Great mental exercise!’

Marian listened to his flow of talk for a few minutes longer, then took the opportunity of a brief silence to rise and put on her hat. Jasper observed her, but without rising; he looked at his sisters in a hesitating way. At length he stood up, and declared that he too must be off. This coincidence had happened once before when he met Marian here in the evening.

Marian listened to his chatter for a few more minutes, then seized the chance of a brief silence to stand up and put on her hat. Jasper watched her but stayed seated; he glanced at his sisters with a bit of uncertainty. Finally, he got up and announced that he also had to leave. This had happened once before when he ran into Marian here in the evening.

‘At all events, you won’t do any more work to-night,’ said Dora.

‘Anyway, you’re not doing any more work tonight,’ said Dora.

‘No; I shall read a page of something or other over a glass of whisky, and seek the sleep of a man who has done his duty.’

‘No; I'll read a page of something over a glass of whisky, and then I'll try to get some sleep like a person who's done their duty.’

‘Why the whisky?’ asked Maud.

"Why the whiskey?" asked Maud.

‘Do you grudge me such poor solace?’

‘Do you resent me for such little comfort?’

‘I don’t see the need of it.’

‘I don’t see the point of it.’

‘Nonsense, Maud!’ exclaimed her sister. ‘He needs a little stimulant when he works so hard.’

‘Nonsense, Maud!’ her sister exclaimed. ‘He needs a little boost when he works so hard.’

Each of the girls gave Marian’s hand a significant pressure as she took leave of them, and begged her to come again as soon as she had a free evening. There was gratitude in her eyes.

Each of the girls squeezed Marian’s hand as she said goodbye, asking her to visit again as soon as she had a free evening. There was gratitude in her eyes.

The evening was clear, and not very cold.

The evening was clear and not too cold.

‘It’s rather late for you to go home,’ said Jasper, as they left the house. ‘May I walk part of the way with you?’

‘It’s pretty late for you to be heading home,’ said Jasper, as they left the house. ‘Can I walk part of the way with you?’

Marian replied with a low ‘Thank you.’

Marian replied softly, "Thanks."

‘I think you get on pretty well with the girls, don’t you?’

‘I think you get along pretty well with the girls, don’t you?’

‘I hope they are as glad of my friendship as I am of theirs.’

‘I hope they appreciate my friendship as much as I appreciate theirs.’

‘Pity to see them in a place like that, isn’t it? They ought to have a good house, with plenty of servants. It’s bad enough for a civilised man to have to rough it, but I hate to see women living in a sordid way. Don’t you think they could both play their part in a drawing-room, with a little experience?’

‘It’s a shame to see them in a place like that, isn’t it? They should have a nice house, with plenty of help. It’s tough enough for a civilized man to struggle, but I really dislike seeing women living in such a shabby way. Don’t you think they could both fit in at a gathering, with a bit of experience?’

‘Surely there’s no doubt of it.’

‘Surely there’s no doubt about it.’

‘Maud would look really superb if she were handsomely dressed. She hasn’t a common face, by any means. And Dora is pretty, I think. Well, they shall go and see some people before long. The difficulty is, one doesn’t like it to be known that they live in such a crib; but I daren’t advise them to go in for expense. One can’t be sure that it would repay them, though—Now, in my own case, if I could get hold of a few thousand pounds I should know how to use it with the certainty of return; it would save me, probably, a clear ten years of life; I mean, I should go at a jump to what I shall be ten years hence without the help of money. But they have such a miserable little bit of capital, and everything is still so uncertain. One daren’t speculate under the circumstances.’

‘Maud would look really amazing if she were dressed nicely. She doesn’t have an ordinary face, not at all. And I think Dora is pretty. Well, they’ll go see some people soon. The problem is, you don’t want it to be known that they live in such a dump; but I can’t suggest they spend a lot. You can’t be sure it would pay off, though—In my case, if I could get my hands on a few thousand pounds, I’d know exactly how to use it for a guaranteed return; it would probably save me a solid ten years of life; I mean, I’d jump straight to what I would be in ten years without the financial help. But they have such a tiny bit of savings, and everything is still so uncertain. You can’t risk it under the circumstances.’

Marian made no reply.

Marian didn’t respond.

‘You think I talk of nothing but money?’ Jasper said suddenly, looking down into her face.

‘Do you believe I only talk about money?’ Jasper said suddenly, looking down into her face.

‘I know too well what it means to be without money.’

‘I know all too well what it’s like to be broke.’

‘Yes, but—you do just a little despise me?’

‘Yeah, but—do you kind of despise me?’

‘Indeed, I don’t, Mr Milvain.’

"I really don't, Mr. Milvain."

‘If that is sincere, I’m very glad. I take it in a friendly sense. I am rather despicable, you know; it’s part of my business to be so. But a friend needn’t regard that. There is the man apart from his necessities.’

‘If that’s genuine, I’m really happy. I take it in a friendly way. I can be quite despicable, you know; it’s part of my job to be that way. But a friend doesn’t have to see it that way. There’s the person separate from their needs.’

The silence was then unbroken till they came to the lower end of Park Street, the junction of roads which lead to Hampstead, to Highgate, and to Holloway.

The silence remained intact until they reached the lower end of Park Street, where the roads fork off to Hampstead, Highgate, and Holloway.

‘Shall you take an omnibus?’ Jasper asked.

‘Are you going to take an omnibus?’ Jasper asked.

She hesitated.

She paused.

‘Or will you give me the pleasure of walking on with you? You are tired, perhaps?’

‘Or will you let me enjoy walking with you? Are you tired, maybe?’

‘Not the least.’

"Not at all."

For the rest of her answer she moved forward, and they crossed into the obscurity of Camden Road.

For the rest of her answer, she moved ahead, and they entered the shadows of Camden Road.

‘Shall I be doing wrong, Mr Milvain,’ Marian began in a very low voice, ‘if I ask you about the authorship of something in this month’s Current?’

‘Am I wrong to ask you about the authorship of something in this month’s Current, Mr. Milvain?’ Marian started in a very soft voice.

‘I’m afraid I know what you refer to. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t answer a question of the kind.’

‘I’m afraid I know what you’re talking about. There’s no reason I shouldn’t answer that kind of question.’

‘It was Mr Fadge himself who reviewed my father’s book?’

‘It was Mr. Fadge himself who reviewed my dad’s book?’

‘It was—confound him! I don’t know another man who could have done the thing so vilely well.’

‘It was—damn him! I don’t know another guy who could have done that so terribly well.’

‘I suppose he was only replying to my father’s attack upon him and his friends.’

'I guess he was just responding to my dad's criticism of him and his friends.'

‘Your father’s attack is honest and straightforward and justifiable and well put. I read that chapter of his book with huge satisfaction. But has anyone suggested that another than Fadge was capable of that masterpiece?’

‘Your father’s critique is genuine, clear, justifiable, and very well expressed. I read that chapter of his book with great satisfaction. But has anyone proposed that someone other than Fadge could have created that masterpiece?’

‘Yes. I am told that Mr Jedwood, the publisher, has somehow made a mistake.’

‘Yes. I heard that Mr. Jedwood, the publisher, has somehow made a mistake.’

‘Jedwood? And what mistake?’

‘Jedwood? What mistake are you referring to?’

‘Father heard that you were the writer.’

‘Dad heard that you were the writer.’

‘I?’ Jasper stopped short. They were in the rays of a street-lamp, and could see each other’s faces. ‘And he believes that?’

‘I?’ Jasper stopped short. They were in the glow of a streetlamp and could see each other’s faces. ‘And he actually believes that?’

‘I’m afraid so.’

"Unfortunately, yes."

‘And you believe—believed it?’

"And you believe—did you believe it?"

‘Not for a moment.’

"Not for a second."

‘I shall write a note to Mr Yule.’

‘I will write a note to Mr. Yule.’

Marian was silent a while, then said:

Marian was silent for a moment, then said:

‘Wouldn’t it be better if you found a way of letting Mr Jedwood know the truth?’

‘Wouldn’t it be better if you figured out a way to tell Mr. Jedwood the truth?’

‘Perhaps you are right.’

"Maybe you're right."

Jasper was very grateful for the suggestion. In that moment he had reflected how rash it would be to write to Alfred Yule on such a subject, with whatever prudence in expressing himself. Such a letter, coming under the notice of the great Fadge, might do its writer serious harm.

Jasper was really grateful for the suggestion. At that moment, he realized how reckless it would be to write to Alfred Yule about such a topic, no matter how carefully he chose his words. A letter like that, if it caught the attention of the prominent Fadge, could seriously damage its sender.

‘Yes, you are right,’ he repeated. ‘I’ll stop that rumour at its source. I can’t guess how it started; for aught I know, some enemy hath done this, though I don’t quite discern the motive. Thank you very much for telling me, and still more for refusing to believe that I could treat Mr Yule in that way, even as a matter of business. When I said that I was despicable, I didn’t mean that I could sink quite to such a point as that. If only because it was your father—’

‘Yes, you’re right,’ he said again. ‘I’ll put an end to that rumor right away. I have no idea how it started; for all I know, some rival could be behind this, even though I don’t really see the reason for it. Thanks a lot for letting me know, and even more for not believing that I could treat Mr. Yule that way, even if it was just business. When I said I was despicable, I didn’t mean I could stoop that low. Especially since it involves your father—’

He checked himself and they walked on for several yards without speaking.

He composed himself, and they continued walking for several yards in silence.

‘In that case,’ Jasper resumed at length, ‘your father doesn’t think of me in a very friendly way?’

‘In that case,’ Jasper continued after a moment, ‘your dad doesn’t think very kindly of me?’

‘He scarcely could—’

'He could hardly—'

‘No, no. And I quite understand that the mere fact of my working for Fadge would prejudice him against me. But that’s no reason, I hope, why you and I shouldn’t be friends?’

‘No, no. I totally get that just the fact that I work for Fadge would put him off me. But I hope that’s not a reason why you and I can’t be friends?’

‘I hope not.’

"I hope not."

‘I don’t know that my friendship is worth much,’ Jasper continued, talking into the upper air, a habit of his when he discussed his own character. ‘I shall go on as I have begun, and fight for some of the good things of life. But your friendship is valuable. If I am sure of it, I shall be at all events within sight of the better ideals.’

‘I’m not sure my friendship means much,’ Jasper continued, looking up into the air, which was a habit of his when he talked about himself. ‘I’ll keep going like I have been and fight for some of the good things in life. But your friendship is important. If I can count on it, I’ll definitely be closer to those better ideals.’

Marian walked on with her eyes upon the ground. To her surprise she discovered presently that they had all but reached St Paul’s Crescent.

Marian walked along, looking down at the ground. To her surprise, she soon realized that they had almost reached St Paul’s Crescent.

‘Thank you for having come so far,’ she said, pausing.

‘Thanks for coming all this way,’ she said, pausing.

‘Ah, you are nearly home. Why, it seems only a few minutes since we left the girls. Now I’ll run back to the whisky of which Maud disapproves.’

‘Ah, you’re almost home. It feels like just a few minutes since we left the girls. Now I’ll head back to the whisky that Maud doesn’t approve of.’

‘May it do you good!’ said Marian with a laugh.

“Hope it helps you!” said Marian with a laugh.

A speech of this kind seemed unusual upon her lips. Jasper smiled as he held her hand and regarded her.

A speech like this felt unusual coming from her. Jasper smiled as he held her hand and looked at her.

‘Then you can speak in a joking way?’

‘So, you can talk in a joking way?’

‘Do I seem so very dull?’

"Do I look that dull?"

‘Dull, by no means. But sage and sober and reticent—and exactly what I like in my friend, because it contrasts with my own habits. All the better that merriment lies below it. Goodnight, Miss Yule.’

‘Not dull at all. But wise, serious, and reserved—and just what I appreciate in my friend, since it’s the opposite of my own ways. It’s even better that the fun is underneath it all. Goodnight, Miss Yule.’

He strode off and in a minute or two turned his head to look at the slight figure passing into darkness.

He walked away and after a minute or two glanced back at the small figure disappearing into the darkness.

Marian’s hand trembled as she tried to insert her latch-key. When she had closed the door very quietly behind her she went to the sitting-room; Mrs Yule was just laying aside the sewing on which she had occupied herself throughout the lonely evening.

Marian’s hand shook as she attempted to put in her latch-key. After she quietly closed the door behind her, she went to the sitting room; Mrs. Yule was just setting aside the sewing she had been working on during the quiet evening.

‘I’m rather late,’ said the girl, in a voice of subdued joyousness.

‘I’m a bit late,’ said the girl, in a voice filled with quiet happiness.

‘Yes; I was getting a little uneasy, dear.’

‘Yeah; I was feeling a bit uneasy, babe.’

‘Oh, there’s no danger.’

‘Oh, there’s no risk.’

‘You have been enjoying yourself, I can see.’

‘I can see you’ve been having a good time.’

‘I have had a pleasant evening.’

"I had a great evening."

In the retrospect it seemed the pleasantest she had yet spent with her friends, though she had set out in such a different mood. Her mind was relieved of two anxieties; she felt sure that the girls had not taken ill what she told them, and there was no longer the least doubt concerning the authorship of that review in The Current.

Looking back, it seemed like the best time she had ever had with her friends, even though she had started out in a completely different mood. She was free from two worries; she was confident that the girls hadn't taken offense at what she had said, and there was no longer any doubt about who had written that review in The Current.

She could confess to herself now that the assurance from Jasper’s lips was not superfluous. He might have weighed profit against other considerations, and have written in that way of her father; she had not felt that absolute confidence which defies every argument from human frailty. And now she asked herself if faith of that unassailable kind is ever possible; is it not only the poet’s dream, the far ideal?

She could admit to herself now that the reassurance from Jasper’s lips wasn’t unnecessary. He might have considered profit alongside other factors and written about her father that way; she hadn’t felt that complete confidence that ignores all human weaknesses. And now she wondered if that kind of unbreakable faith is ever possible; is it just a poet’s fantasy, a distant ideal?

Marian often went thus far in her speculation. Her candour was allied with clear insight into the possibilities of falsehood; she was not readily the victim of illusion; thinking much, and speaking little, she had not come to her twenty-third year without perceiving what a distance lay between a girl’s dream of life as it might be and life as it is. Had she invariably disclosed her thoughts, she would have earned the repute of a very sceptical and slightly cynical person.

Marian often thought this way. Her honesty was combined with a clear understanding of the potential for deceit; she wasn't easily fooled. Being thoughtful and speaking little, she had reached her twenty-third year without failing to notice the gap between a girl’s dreams of life and the reality of it. If she had always shared her thoughts, she would have gained a reputation for being quite skeptical and a bit cynical.

But with what rapturous tumult of the heart she could abandon herself to a belief in human virtues when their suggestion seemed to promise her a future of happiness!

But with what joyful excitement she could throw herself into believing in human virtues when their hint seemed to promise her a happy future!

Alone in her room she sat down only to think of Jasper Milvain, and extract from the memory of his words, his looks, new sustenance for her hungry heart. Jasper was the first man who had ever evinced a man’s interest in her. Until she met him she had not known a look of compliment or a word addressed to her emotions. He was as far as possible from representing the lover of her imagination, but from the day of that long talk in the fields near Wattleborough the thought of him had supplanted dreams. On that day she said to herself: I could love him if he cared to seek my love. Premature, perhaps; why, yes, but one who is starving is not wont to feel reluctance at the suggestion of food. The first man who had approached her with display of feeling and energy and youthful self-confidence; handsome too, it seemed to her. Her womanhood went eagerly to meet him.

Alone in her room, she sat down and couldn't help but think of Jasper Milvain, pulling from her memories of his words and expressions to feed her longing heart. Jasper was the first man who had ever shown a real interest in her. Before meeting him, she had never received a compliment or heard words that spoke to her feelings. He was nothing like the ideal lover she had imagined, but since that long conversation in the fields near Wattleborough, thoughts of him had taken over her dreams. On that day, she told herself: I could love him if he wanted to pursue my love. It might have been premature, sure, but someone who is starving doesn't usually hesitate at the thought of food. He was the first man to approach her with genuine feeling, energy, and youthful confidence; he even seemed handsome to her. Her womanhood eagerly reached out to meet him.

Since then she had made careful study of his faults. Each conversation had revealed to her new weakness and follies. With the result that her love had grown to a reality.

Since then, she had carefully examined his flaws. Each conversation had shown her new weaknesses and foolishness. As a result, her love had become something real.

He was so human, and a youth of all but monastic seclusion had prepared her to love the man who aimed with frank energy at the joys of life. A taint of pedantry would have repelled her. She did not ask for high intellect or great attainments; but vivacity, courage, determination to succeed, were delightful to her senses. Her ideal would not have been a literary man at all; certainly not a man likely to be prominent in journalism; rather a man of action, one who had no restraints of commerce or official routine. But in Jasper she saw the qualities that attracted her apart from the accidents of his position. Ideal personages do not descend to girls who have to labour at the British Museum; it seemed a marvel to her, and of good augury, that even such a man as Jasper should have crossed her path.

He was very much human, and a young woman who had spent almost all her time in solitude was ready to love a man who passionately pursued the joys of life. A hint of pretentiousness would have turned her off. She didn’t look for high intelligence or impressive achievements; what she found delightful were vivacity, courage, and determination to succeed. Her ideal wouldn’t have been a literary type at all; certainly not someone who would stand out in journalism; she preferred a man of action, someone unbound by commerce or office routine. But with Jasper, she saw the qualities that attracted her beyond the circumstances of his situation. Ideal figures don’t come down to girls who have to work at the British Museum; it amazed her, and felt like a good sign, that even a man like Jasper had crossed her path.

It was as though years had passed since their first meeting. Upon her return to London had followed such long periods of hopelessness. Yet whenever they encountered each other he had look and speech for her with which surely he did not greet every woman. From the first his way of regarding her had shown frank interest. And at length had come the confession of his ‘respect,’ his desire to be something more to her than a mere acquaintance. It was scarcely possible that he should speak as he several times had of late if he did not wish to draw her towards him.

It felt like years had gone by since their first meeting. After she returned to London, there were long stretches of feeling hopeless. Yet whenever they ran into each other, he had a look and way of speaking to her that clearly he didn’t use with other women. From the beginning, his way of looking at her showed genuine interest. Eventually, he admitted his ‘respect’ for her and expressed a desire to be more than just acquaintances. It was hard to believe he would say what he had said several times recently if he didn’t want to bring her closer to him.

That was the hopeful side of her thoughts. It was easy to forget for a time those words of his which one might think were spoken as distinct warning; but they crept into the memory, unwelcome, importunate, as soon as imagination had built its palace of joy. Why did he always recur to the subject of money? ‘I shall allow nothing to come in my way;’ he once said that as if meaning, ‘certainly not a love affair with a girl who is penniless.’ He emphasised the word ‘friend,’ as if to explain that he offered and asked nothing more than friendship.

That was the optimistic side of her thoughts. It was easy to forget for a while those words of his that seemed like clear warnings; but they crept back into her mind, unwelcome and persistent, as soon as her imagination had built its palace of happiness. Why did he always bring up the topic of money? “I won’t let anything stand in my way,” he once said, almost implying, “certainly not a romantic relationship with a girl who has no money.” He stressed the word “friend,” as if to clarify that he was offering and expecting nothing more than friendship.

But it only meant that he would not be in haste to declare himself. Of a certainty there was conflict between his ambition and his love, but she recognised her power over him and exulted in it. She had observed his hesitancy this evening, before he rose to accompany her from the house; her heart laughed within her as the desire drew him. And henceforth such meetings would be frequent, with each one her influence would increase. How kindly fate had dealt with her in bringing Maud and Dora to London!

But it just meant that he wouldn’t rush to declare his feelings. There was definitely a struggle between his ambition and his love, but she recognized her power over him and reveled in it. She noticed his hesitation that evening before he stood up to walk her out of the house; her heart felt joy as his desire pulled him closer. From now on, these encounters would happen often, and with each one, her influence would grow. How fortunate fate had been in bringing Maud and Dora to London!

It was within his reach to marry a woman who would bring him wealth. He had that in mind; she understood it too well. But not one moment’s advantage would she relinquish. He must choose her in her poverty, and be content with what his talents could earn for him. Her love gave her the right to demand this sacrifice; let him ask for her love, and the sacrifice would no longer seem one, so passionately would she reward him.

It was within his grasp to marry a woman who would bring him wealth. He was aware of this; she understood it all too well. But she wouldn’t give up even a moment's advantage. He had to choose her while she was poor and be satisfied with what his skills could bring him. Her love gave her the right to ask for this sacrifice; if he sought her love, the sacrifice would no longer feel like one, as she would reward him with such passion.

He would ask it. To-night she was full of a rich confidence, partly, no doubt, the result of reaction from her miseries. He had said at parting that her character was so well suited to his; that he liked her. And then he had pressed her hand so warmly. Before long he would ask her love.

He would ask her. Tonight, she was bursting with confidence, likely a result of bouncing back from her struggles. He had said goodbye, mentioning that her personality matched his perfectly and that he liked her. Then he had held her hand tightly. Soon, he would ask for her love.

The unhoped was all but granted her. She could labour on in the valley of the shadow of books, for a ray of dazzling sunshine might at any moment strike into its musty gloom.

The impossible almost became a reality for her. She could keep working in the dark corner of books, because a burst of bright sunlight could break through its dusty shadows at any moment.





CHAPTER XV. THE LAST RESOURCE

The past twelve months had added several years to Edwin Reardon’s seeming age; at thirty-three he would generally have been taken for forty. His bearing, his personal habits, were no longer those of a young man; he walked with a stoop and pressed noticeably on the stick he carried; it was rare for him to show the countenance which tells of present cheerfulness or glad onward-looking; there was no spring in his step; his voice had fallen to a lower key, and often he spoke with that hesitation in choice of words which may be noticed in persons whom defeat has made self-distrustful. Ceaseless perplexity and dread gave a wandering, sometimes a wild, expression to his eyes.

The past year had aged Edwin Reardon significantly; at thirty-three, he could easily be mistaken for forty. His posture and personal habits no longer reflected those of a young man; he walked hunched over and leaned heavily on the cane he carried. It was uncommon for him to show a face that conveyed happiness or hopefulness; there was no bounce in his walk. His voice had dropped to a lower pitch, and he often spoke with a hesitation in choosing his words, typical of people whose failures have made them unsure of themselves. Constant confusion and fear gave his eyes a distracted, sometimes wild look.

He seldom slept, in the proper sense of the word; as a rule he was conscious all through the night of ‘a kind of fighting’ between physical weariness and wakeful toil of the mind. It often happened that some wholly imaginary obstacle in the story he was writing kept him under a sense of effort throughout the dark hours; now and again he woke, reasoned with himself, and remembered clearly that the torment was without cause, but the short relief thus afforded soon passed in the recollection of real distress. In his unsoothing slumber he talked aloud, frequently wakening Amy; generally he seemed to be holding a dialogue with someone who had imposed an intolerable task upon him; he protested passionately, appealed, argued in the strangest way about the injustice of what was demanded. Once Amy heard him begging for money—positively begging, like some poor wretch in the street; it was horrible, and made her shed tears; when he asked what he had been saying, she could not bring herself to tell him.

He rarely slept in the true sense; usually, he was aware throughout the night of a sort of struggle between physical exhaustion and his racing mind. Often, an entirely made-up obstacle in the story he was working on kept him feeling tense all night long. Occasionally, he would wake up, reason with himself, and realize that his distress was unfounded, but the brief relief would quickly fade back into memories of real pain. In his restless sleep, he spoke out loud, frequently waking Amy; he usually seemed to be having a conversation with someone who had assigned him an unbearable task. He argued passionately, pleaded, and discussed in the strangest ways about how unfair the demands were. One time, Amy heard him begging for money—actually begging, like a desperate person on the street. It was awful and made her cry; when he asked what he had been saying, she couldn't bring herself to tell him.

When the striking clocks summoned him remorselessly to rise and work he often reeled with dizziness. It seemed to him that the greatest happiness attainable would be to creep into some dark, warm corner, out of the sight and memory of men, and lie there torpid, with a blessed half-consciousness that death was slowly overcoming him. Of all the sufferings collected into each four-and-twenty hours this of rising to a new day was the worst.

When the annoying clocks forced him to get up and work, he often felt dizzy. He thought that the greatest happiness would be to curl up in some dark, warm corner, away from the sight and memory of people, and lie there in a sluggish state, with a comforting awareness that death was gradually taking over. Out of all the pains packed into each day, the worst was having to rise to a new day.

The one-volume story which he had calculated would take him four or five weeks was with difficulty finished in two months. March winds made an invalid of him; at one time he was threatened with bronchitis, and for several days had to abandon even the effort to work. In previous winters he had been wont to undergo a good deal of martyrdom from the London climate, but never in such a degree as now; mental illness seemed to have enfeebled his body.

The single-volume story that he thought would take him four or five weeks to finish ended up taking him two months with great difficulty. The March winds made him feel miserable; at one point, he was at risk of bronchitis and had to stop working entirely for several days. In past winters, he had suffered quite a bit from the London climate, but never as much as he was now; it felt like his mental struggles had weakened his body.

It was strange that he succeeded in doing work of any kind, for he had no hope from the result. This one last effort he would make, just to complete the undeniableness of his failure, and then literature should be thrown behind him; what other pursuit was possible to him he knew not, but perhaps he might discover some mode of earning a livelihood. Had it been a question of gaining a pound a week, as in the old days, he might have hoped to obtain some clerkship like that at the hospital, where no commercial experience or aptitude was demanded; but in his present position such an income would be useless. Could he take Amy and the child to live in a garret? On less than a hundred a year it was scarcely possible to maintain outward decency. Already his own clothing began to declare him poverty-stricken, and but for gifts from her mother Amy would have reached the like pass. They lived in dread of the pettiest casual expense, for the day of pennilessness was again approaching.

It was strange that he managed to do any work at all, since he had no hope for the outcome. This would be his final attempt, just to solidify his failure, and then he would leave literature behind; he didn't know what else he could pursue, but maybe he could figure out a way to make a living. If it had been a matter of earning a pound a week like in the old days, he might have hoped to land a clerk job at the hospital, where they didn’t require any commercial experience or skills. But in his current situation, that kind of income would be worthless. Could he move Amy and the child to a small attic room? It was nearly impossible to maintain any semblance of decency on less than a hundred a year. His clothes were already starting to show signs of poverty, and without gifts from her mother, Amy would have been in the same boat. They lived in fear of the smallest unexpected expense, as the day when they would be broke again was fast approaching.

Amy was oftener from home than had been her custom.

Amy was away from home more often than she used to be.

Occasionally she went away soon after breakfast, and spent the whole day at her mother’s house. ‘It saves food,’ she said with a bitter laugh, when Reardon once expressed surprise that she should be going again so soon.

Occasionally, she left right after breakfast and spent the entire day at her mom's house. "It saves food," she said with a sarcastic laugh when Reardon once expressed surprise that she was going back so soon.

‘And gives you an opportunity of bewailing your hard fate,’ he returned coldly.

‘And gives you a chance to complain about your tough luck,’ he replied coolly.

The reproach was ignoble, and he could not be surprised that Amy left the house without another word to him. Yet he resented that, as he had resented her sorrowful jest. The feeling of unmanliness in his own position tortured him into a mood of perversity. Through the day he wrote only a few lines, and on Amy’s return he resolved not to speak to her. There was a sense of repose in this change of attitude; he encouraged himself in the view that Amy was treating him with cruel neglect. She, surprised that her friendly questions elicited no answer, looked into his face and saw a sullen anger of which hitherto Reardon had never seemed capable. Her indignation took fire, and she left him to himself.

The accusation was shameful, and he couldn't be shocked that Amy left the house without saying another word to him. Still, he felt resentful about it, just as he had felt about her sad joke. The feeling of weakness in his own situation tormented him, pushing him into a stubborn mood. Throughout the day, he wrote only a few lines, and when Amy returned, he decided he wouldn't talk to her. There was a sense of calm in this change of attitude; he convinced himself that Amy was treating him with harsh indifference. She, surprised that her friendly questions got no response, looked into his face and saw a sullen anger that Reardon had never seemed capable of before. Her indignation flared up, and she left him to himself.

For a day or two he persevered in his muteness, uttering a word only when it could not be avoided. Amy was at first so resentful that she contemplated leaving him to his ill-temper and dwelling at her mother’s house until he chose to recall her. But his face grew so haggard in fixed misery that compassion at length prevailed over her injured pride. Late in the evening she went to the study, and found him sitting unoccupied.

For a day or two, he kept silent, only speaking when he had no choice. At first, Amy was so angry that she considered leaving him to sulk and staying at her mom's house until he decided to ask her back. But seeing his face so worn out with constant misery eventually made her compassion win over her hurt pride. Late in the evening, she went to the study and found him sitting there, doing nothing.

‘Edwin—’

‘Edwin—’

‘What do you want?’ he asked indifferently.

‘What do you want?’ he asked casually.

‘Why are you behaving to me like this?’

‘Why are you treating me like this?’

‘Surely it makes no difference to you how I behave? You can easily forget that I exist, and live your own life.’

‘Surely it doesn’t matter to you how I act? You can easily forget I’m here and just live your own life.’

‘What have I done to make this change in you?’

‘What have I done to cause this change in you?’

‘Is it a change?’

"Is it a change?"

‘You know it is.’

"You know it is."

‘How did I behave before?’ he asked, glancing at her.

‘How did I act before?’ he asked, glancing at her.

‘Like yourself—kindly and gently.’

‘Be kind and gentle to yourself.’

‘If I always did so, in spite of things that might have embittered another man’s temper, I think it deserved some return of kindness from you.’

‘If I always acted this way, despite things that might have made another person bitter, I think I deserve some kindness in return from you.’

‘What “things” do you mean?’

“What do you mean by ‘things’?”

‘Circumstances for which neither of us is to blame.’

‘Circumstances that neither of us is responsible for.’

‘I am not conscious of having failed in kindness,’ said Amy, distantly.

“I don’t feel like I’ve failed to be kind,” said Amy, with a distant look.

‘Then that only shows that you have forgotten your old self, and utterly changed in your feeling to me. When we first came to live here could you have imagined yourself leaving me alone for long, miserable days, just because I was suffering under misfortunes? You have shown too plainly that you don’t care to give me the help even of a kind word. You get away from me as often as you can, as if to remind me that we have no longer any interests in common. Other people are your confidants; you speak of me to them as if I were purposely dragging you down into a mean condition.’

‘Then that just shows that you’ve forgotten your old self and completely changed how you feel about me. When we first started living here, could you have imagined leaving me alone for long, miserable days just because I was going through hard times? You’ve made it clear you don’t even want to offer me a kind word. You avoid me as much as you can, almost to remind me that we don’t share any interests anymore. Other people are your confidants; you talk about me to them as if I’m intentionally dragging you down into a bad situation.’

‘How can you know what I say about you?’

‘How do you know what I say about you?’

‘Isn’t it true?’ he asked, flashing an angry glance at her.

‘Isn’t that true?’ he asked, shooting her an angry look.

‘It is not true. Of course I have talked to mother about our difficulties; how could I help it?’

‘That's not true. Of course I've talked to Mom about our problems; how could I not?’

‘And to other people.’

'And to others.'

‘Not in a way that you could find fault with.’

'Not in a way that you could criticize.'

‘In a way that makes me seem contemptible to them. You show them that I have made you poor and unhappy, and you are glad to have their sympathy.’

‘In a way that makes me look bad to them. You tell them that I’ve made you poor and unhappy, and you’re happy to get their sympathy.’

‘What you mean is, that I oughtn’t to see anyone. There’s no other way of avoiding such a reproach as this. So long as I don’t laugh and sing before people, and assure them that things couldn’t be more hopeful, I shall be asking for their sympathy, and against you. I can’t understand your unreasonableness.’

‘What you mean is that I shouldn’t see anyone. There’s no other way to avoid such a reproach. As long as I don’t laugh and sing in front of people and tell them that things couldn’t be better, I’ll be asking for their sympathy, and that’s against you. I can’t understand your unreasonableness.’

‘I’m afraid there is very little in me that you can understand. So long as my prospects seemed bright, you could sympathise readily enough; as soon as ever they darkened, something came between us. Amy, you haven’t done your duty. Your love hasn’t stood the test as it should have done. You have given me no help; besides the burden of cheerless work I have had to bear that of your growing coldness. I can’t remember one instance when you have spoken to me as a wife might—a wife who was something more than a man’s housekeeper.’

‘I’m afraid there’s not much about me that you can really understand. As long as my future looked promising, you were quick to show sympathy; but as soon as things took a turn for the worse, there was a barrier between us. Amy, you haven’t fulfilled your responsibilities. Your love hasn’t held up like it should have. You haven’t offered me any support; on top of the dull work I’ve had to handle, I’ve also had to deal with your growing indifference. I can’t recall a single time you’ve spoken to me like a wife should—like a wife who is more than just a housekeeper.’

The passion in his voice and the harshness of the accusation made her unable to reply.

The intensity in his voice and the severity of the accusation left her speechless.

‘You said rightly,’ he went on, ‘that I have always been kind and gentle. I never thought I could speak to you or feel to you in any other way. But I have undergone too much, and you have deserted me. Surely it was too soon to do that. So long as I endeavoured my utmost, and loved you the same as ever, you might have remembered all you once said to me. You might have given me help, but you haven’t cared to.’

‘You’re right,’ he continued, ‘I’ve always been kind and gentle. I never thought I could talk to you or feel any differently. But I’ve been through so much, and you’ve abandoned me. Surely it was too soon for that. As long as I did my best and loved you just like I always have, you could have remembered everything you once said to me. You could have offered me support, but you didn’t care to.’

The impulses which had part in this outbreak were numerous and complex. He felt all that he expressed, but at the same time it seemed to him that he had the choice between two ways of uttering his emotion—the tenderly appealing and the sternly reproachful: he took the latter course because it was less natural to him than the former. His desire was to impress Amy with the bitter intensity of his sufferings; pathos and loving words seemed to have lost their power upon her, but perhaps if he yielded to that other form of passion she would be shaken out of her coldness. The stress of injured love is always tempted to speech which seems its contradiction. Reardon had the strangest mixture of pain and pleasure in flinging out these first words of wrath that he had ever addressed to Amy; they consoled him under the humiliating sense of his weakness, and yet he watched with dread his wife’s countenance as she listened to him. He hoped to cause her pain equal to his own, for then it would be in his power at once to throw off this disguise and soothe her with every softest word his heart could suggest. That she had really ceased to love him he could not, durst not, believe; but his nature demanded frequent assurance of affection. Amy had abandoned too soon the caresses of their ardent time; she was absorbed in her maternity, and thought it enough to be her husband’s friend. Ashamed to make appeal directly for the tenderness she no longer offered, he accused her of utter indifference, of abandoning him and all but betraying him, that in self-defence she might show what really was in her heart.

The reasons behind this outburst were many and complicated. He felt everything he expressed, but at the same time, he thought he had a choice between two ways to show his feelings—the gently pleading and the harshly critical. He chose the latter because it felt less natural. He wanted to make Amy understand the deep pain of his suffering; words of affection and sadness seemed to have lost their impact on her, but maybe if he tapped into this other kind of passion, she would be moved from her coldness. The anguish of unrequited love often drives a person to speak in ways that seem contradictory to their feelings. Reardon felt a strange mix of pain and pleasure as he delivered these angry words to Amy for the first time; they gave him some comfort beneath the humiliating sense of his own weakness, yet he anxiously observed his wife's face as she listened. He hoped to make her feel as much pain as he did, believing that then he could drop this façade and comfort her with every gentle word his heart could think of. He couldn't, and dared not, believe that she had truly stopped loving him; his nature craved constant reassurance of affection. Amy had turned away from the warmth of their passionate times too quickly; she was focused on motherhood and thought being her husband’s friend was enough. Ashamed to directly ask for the tenderness she no longer showed, he accused her of being completely indifferent, of abandoning him and nearly betraying him, hoping that in self-defense, she would reveal what she truly felt.

But Amy made no movement towards him.

But Amy didn't move towards him.

‘How can you say that I have deserted you?’ she returned, with cold indignation. ‘When did I refuse to share your poverty? When did I grumble at what we have had to go through?’

‘How can you say that I’ve abandoned you?’ she replied, with icy anger. ‘When did I ever refuse to share in your struggles? When did I complain about what we’ve had to endure?’

‘Ever since the troubles really began you have let me know what your thoughts were, even if you didn’t speak them. You have never shared my lot willingly. I can’t recall one word of encouragement from you, but many, many which made the struggle harder for me.’

‘Ever since the troubles really started, you’ve made your thoughts clear, even if you didn’t say them out loud. You’ve never willingly supported me. I can’t remember one word of encouragement from you, but I can recall many that made my struggle harder.’

‘Then it would be better for you if I went away altogether, and left you free to do the best for yourself. If that is what you mean by all this, why not say it plainly? I won’t be a burden to you. Someone will give me a home.’

‘Then it would be better for you if I left completely, giving you the freedom to do what's best for yourself. If that's what you mean by all this, why not say it clearly? I won’t be a burden to you. Someone will give me a place to stay.’

‘And you would leave me without regret? Your only care would be that you were still bound to me?’

‘And you would leave me without a second thought? Your only concern would be that you were still connected to me?’

‘You must think of me what you like. I don’t care to defend myself.’

‘You can think whatever you want about me. I’m not interested in defending myself.’

‘You won’t admit, then, that I have anything to complain of? I seem to you simply in a bad temper without a cause?’

‘You won't admit, then, that I have anything to complain about? I come across to you as just being in a bad mood for no reason?’

‘To tell you the truth, that’s just what I do think. I came here to ask what I had done that you were angry with me, and you break out furiously with all sorts of vague reproaches. You have much to endure, I know that, but it’s no reason why you should turn against me. I have never neglected my duty. Is the duty all on my side? I believe there are very few wives who would be as patient as I have been.’

‘Honestly, that’s exactly what I think. I came here to ask why you were upset with me, and instead, you explode with a bunch of vague accusations. I know you have a lot to deal with, but that doesn’t mean you should take it out on me. I’ve never neglected my responsibilities. Is it all my duty? I believe there are very few wives who would have been as patient as I have.’

Reardon gazed at her for a moment, then turned away. The distance between them was greater than he had thought, and now he repented of having given way to an impulse so alien to his true feelings; anger only estranged her, whereas by speech of a different kind he might have won the caress for which he hungered.

Reardon stared at her for a moment, then looked away. The gap between them was bigger than he had realized, and now he regretted acting on an impulse that was so unlike his true feelings; anger only pushed her away, while with a different kind of conversation, he might have earned the affection he craved.

Amy, seeing that he would say nothing more, left him to himself.

Amy, realizing he had nothing more to say, left him alone.

It grew late in the night. The fire had gone out, but Reardon still sat in the cold room. Thoughts of self-destruction were again haunting him, as they had done during the black months of last year. If he had lost Amy’s love, and all through the mental impotence which would make it hard for him even to earn bread, why should he still live? Affection for his child had no weight with him; it was Amy’s child rather than his, and he had more fear than pleasure in the prospect of Willie’s growing to manhood.

It was getting late into the night. The fire had gone out, but Reardon still sat in the cold room. Thoughts of self-destruction were haunting him again, just like during the dark months of last year. If he had lost Amy’s love and was struggling mentally to even make a living, why should he keep on living? His feelings for his child didn’t mean much to him; it was Amy’s child more than his own, and he felt more fear than happiness at the thought of Willie growing up.

He had just heard the workhouse clock strike two, when, without the warning of a footstep, the door opened. Amy came in; she wore her dressing-gown, and her hair was arranged for the night.

He had just heard the workhouse clock strike two when, without any warning of a footstep, the door swung open. Amy walked in; she was wearing her robe, and her hair was done up for the night.

‘Why do you stay here?’ she asked.

‘Why are you staying here?’ she asked.

It was not the same voice as before. He saw that her eyes were red and swollen.

It wasn't the same voice as before. He noticed that her eyes were red and puffy.

‘Have you been crying, Amy?’

"Did you cry, Amy?"

‘Never mind. Do you know what time it is?’

‘Never mind. Do you know what time it is?’

He went towards her.

He approached her.

‘Why have you been crying?’

"Why are you crying?"

‘There are many things to cry for.’

‘There are many things to cry about.’

‘Amy, have you any love for me still, or has poverty robbed me of it all?’

‘Amy, do you still love me, or has being poor taken it all away?’

‘I have never said that I didn’t love you. Why do you accuse me of such things?’

‘I’ve never said that I didn’t love you. Why do you blame me for that?’

He took her in his arms and held her passionately and kissed her face again and again. Amy’s tears broke forth anew.

He wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly, kissing her face over and over. Amy's tears started flowing again.

‘Why should we come to such utter ruin?’ she sobbed. ‘Oh, try, try if you can’t save us even yet! You know without my saying it that I do love you; it’s dreadful to me to think all our happy life should be at an end, when we thought of such a future together. Is it impossible? Can’t you work as you used to and succeed as we felt confident you would? Don’t despair yet, Edwin; do, do try, whilst there is still time!’

‘Why should we end up in such complete ruin?’ she cried. ‘Oh, please, try to see if you can save us even now! You know without me saying it that I love you; it’s awful to think that our happy life could end when we dreamed of such a future together. Is it really impossible? Can't you work like you used to and succeed like we always believed you would? Don’t lose hope yet, Edwin; please, please try while there's still time!’

‘Darling, darling—if only I COULD!’

"Baby, baby—if only I COULD!”

‘I have thought of something, dearest. Do as you proposed last year; find a tenant for the flat whilst we still have a little money, and then go away into some quiet country place, where you can get back your health and live for very little, and write another book—a good book, that’ll bring you reputation again. I and Willie can go and live at mother’s for the summer months. Do this! It would cost you so little, living alone, wouldn’t it? You would know that I was well cared for; mother would be willing to have me for a few months, and it’s easy to explain that your health has failed, that you’re obliged to go away for a time.’

‘I’ve thought of something, dear. Do what you suggested last year; find someone to rent the flat while we still have some money, and then go away to a quiet country place where you can recover your health, live cheaply, and write another book—a good one that will restore your reputation. Willie and I can stay at my mother’s for the summer. Please do this! It would cost you very little to live alone, right? You’d know I was well taken care of; my mother would gladly have me for a few months, and it’s easy to explain that your health has declined and that you need to go away for a while.’

‘But why shouldn’t you go with me, if we are to let this place?’

‘But why shouldn’t you come with me, if we’re planning to rent this place?’

‘We shouldn’t have enough money. I want to free your mind from the burden whilst you are writing. And what is before us if we go on in this way? You don’t think you will get much for what you’re writing now, do you?’

‘We shouldn’t have enough money. I want to free your mind from the burden while you’re writing. And what lies ahead if we continue like this? You don’t really believe you’ll get much for what you’re writing now, do you?’

Reardon shook his head.

Reardon shook his head.

‘Then how can we live even till the end of the year? Something must be done, you know. If we get into poor lodgings, what hope is there that you’ll be able to write anything good?’

‘Then how can we even make it through the rest of the year? Something needs to be done, you know. If we end up in bad accommodations, what chance do you have of writing anything worthwhile?’

‘But, Amy, I have no faith in my power of—’

‘But, Amy, I don’t trust my ability to—’

‘Oh, it would be different! A few days—a week or a fortnight of real holiday in this spring weather. Go to some seaside place. How is it possible that all your talent should have left you? It’s only that you have been so anxious and in such poor health. You say I don’t love you, but I have thought and thought what would be best for you to do, how you could save yourself. How can you sink down to the position of a poor clerk in some office? That CAN’T be your fate, Edwin; it’s incredible. Oh, after such bright hopes, make one more effort! Have you forgotten that we were to go to the South together—you were to take me to Italy and Greece? How can that ever be if you fail utterly in literature? How can you ever hope to earn more than bare sustenance at any other kind of work?’

‘Oh, it would be different! A few days—a week or two of a real holiday in this spring weather. Let’s go to some seaside place. How is it possible that all your talent has left you? It’s just that you’ve been so anxious and in such poor health. You say I don’t love you, but I’ve thought and thought about what would be best for you, how you could save yourself. How can you settle for being a poor clerk in some office? That CAN’T be your fate, Edwin; it’s unbelievable. Oh, after such bright hopes, make one more effort! Have you forgotten that we were supposed to go to the South together—you were going to take me to Italy and Greece? How can that ever happen if you completely fail in literature? How can you ever expect to earn more than just enough to get by with any other kind of work?’

He all but lost consciousness of her words in gazing at the face she held up to his.

He barely registered her words while staring at the face she presented to him.

‘You love me? Say again that you love me!’

‘You love me? Say it again, that you love me!’

‘Dear, I love you with all my heart. But I am so afraid of the future. I can’t bear poverty; I have found that I can’t bear it. And I dread to think of your becoming only an ordinary man—’

‘Dear, I love you with all my heart. But I’m really scared about the future. I can’t stand the thought of being poor; I’ve realized that I can’t handle it. And I dread to think of you just becoming an ordinary man—’

Reardon laughed.

Reardon laughed.

‘But I am NOT “only an ordinary man,” Amy! If I never write another line, that won’t undo what I have done. It’s little enough, to be sure; but you know what I am. Do you only love the author in me? Don’t you think of me apart from all that I may do or not do? If I had to earn my living as a clerk, would that make me a clerk in soul?’

‘But I am NOT “just an ordinary man,” Amy! If I never write another line, that won’t change what I’ve done. It’s not much, that’s for sure; but you know who I am. Do you only love the writer in me? Don’t you think of me outside of what I do or don’t do? If I had to make a living as a clerk, would that make me a clerk at heart?’

‘You shall not fall to that! It would be too bitter a shame to lose all you have gained in these long years of work. Let me plan for you; do as I wish. You are to be what we hoped from the first. Take all the summer months. How long will it be before you can finish this short book?’

‘You can’t give up now! It would be such a shame to lose everything you’ve worked for all these years. Let me make a plan for you; just follow my lead. You’re meant to be what we always envisioned. Use the entire summer. How long will it take you to finish this short book?’

‘A week or two.’

“A week or two.”

‘Then finish it, and see what you can get for it. And try at once to find a tenant to take this place off our hands; that would be twenty-five pounds saved for the rest of the year. You could live on so little by yourself, couldn’t you?’

‘Then finish it, and see what you can get for it. And try right away to find a tenant to take this place off our hands; that would save us twenty-five pounds for the rest of the year. You could live on so little by yourself, couldn’t you?’

‘Oh, on ten shillings a week, if need be.’

‘Oh, on ten shillings a week, if necessary.’

‘But not to starve yourself, you know. Don’t you feel that my plan is a good one? When I came to you to-night I meant to speak of this, but you were so cruel—’

‘But don’t starve yourself, okay? Don’t you think my plan is a good one? When I came to see you tonight, I intended to talk about this, but you were so unkind—’

‘Forgive me, dearest love! I was half a madman. You have been so cold to me for a long time.’

‘Forgive me, my dearest love! I was halfway out of my mind. You’ve been so distant with me for quite a while now.’

‘I have been distracted. It was as if we were drawing nearer and nearer to the edge of a cataract.’

‘I have been distracted. It felt like we were getting closer and closer to the edge of a waterfall.’

‘Have you spoken to your mother about this?’ he asked uneasily.

"Have you talked to your mom about this?" he asked anxiously.

‘No—not exactly this. But I know she will help us in this way.’

‘No—not quite like this. But I know she will assist us in this way.’

He had seated himself and was holding her in his arms, his face laid against hers.

He had settled down and was holding her in his arms, his face pressed against hers.

‘I shall dread to part from you, Amy. That’s such a dangerous thing to do. It may mean that we are never to live as husband and wife again.’

‘I’m going to hate saying goodbye to you, Amy. That’s really risky. It could mean we might never get to live as husband and wife again.’

‘But how could it? It’s just to prevent that danger. If we go on here till we have no money—what’s before us then? Wretched lodgings at the best. And I am afraid to think of that. I can’t trust myself if that should come to pass.’

‘But how could it? It’s just to avoid that danger. If we stay here until we’re broke—what do we have to look forward to then? Crummy accommodations at best. And I dread to think about that. I can’t rely on myself if that were to happen.’

‘What do you mean?’ he asked anxiously.

‘What do you mean?’ he asked nervously.

‘I hate poverty so. It brings out all the worst things in me; you know I have told you that before, Edwin?’

‘I really hate being poor. It brings out the worst in me; you know I've told you that before, Edwin?’

‘But you would never forget that you are my wife?’

‘But you would never forget that you’re my wife?’

‘I hope not. But—I can’t think of it; I can’t face it! That would be the very worst that can befall us, and we are going to try our utmost to escape from it. Was there ever a man who did as much as you have done in literature and then sank into hopeless poverty?’

‘I hope not. But—I can’t even think about it; I can’t handle it! That would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to us, and we’re going to do everything we can to avoid it. Has there ever been anyone who accomplished as much as you have in literature and then ended up in utter poverty?’

‘Oh, many!’

‘Oh, so many!’

‘But at your age, I mean. Surely not at your age?’

‘But at your age, I mean. Surely not at your age?’

‘I’m afraid there have been such poor fellows. Think how often one hears of hopeful beginnings, new reputations, and then—you hear no more. Of course it generally means that the man has gone into a different career; but sometimes, sometimes—’

‘I’m afraid there have been some unfortunate individuals. Think about how often you hear about promising starts, new reputations, and then—you don’t hear anything else. Of course, it usually means that the person has moved on to a different career; but sometimes, sometimes—’

‘What?’

‘Huh?’

‘The abyss.’ He pointed downward. ‘Penury and despair and a miserable death.’

‘The abyss.’ He pointed down. ‘Poverty, hopelessness, and a miserable death.’

‘Oh, but those men haven’t a wife and child! They would struggle—’

‘Oh, but those men don’t have a wife and child! They would struggle—’

‘Darling, they do struggle. But it’s as if an ever-increasing weight were round their necks; it drags them lower and lower. The world has no pity on a man who can’t do or produce something it thinks worth money. You may be a divine poet, and if some good fellow doesn’t take pity on you you will starve by the roadside. Society is as blind and brutal as fate. I have no right to complain of my own ill-fortune; it’s my own fault (in a sense) that I can’t continue as well as I began; if I could write books as good as the early ones I should earn money. For all that, it’s hard that I must be kicked aside as worthless just because I don’t know a trade.’

‘Honey, they really do struggle. It’s like there’s an ever-growing weight around their necks; it just pulls them down more and more. The world doesn’t have any sympathy for someone who can’t do or create something it considers valuable. You could be a brilliant poet, but if no one shows you compassion, you’ll end up starving by the side of the road. Society is as blind and cruel as fate. I can’t really complain about my own bad luck; it’s my own fault (in a way) that I can’t keep up the same level as I started; if I could write books as good as my earlier ones, I’d be able to make money. Still, it’s tough to be cast aside as worthless just because I don’t have a trade.’

‘It shan’t be! I have only to look into your face to know that you will succeed after all. Yours is the kind of face that people come to know in portraits.’

‘It won't be! I just have to look at your face to know that you will succeed after all. You have the kind of face that people recognize in portraits.’

He kissed her hair, and her eyes, and her mouth.

He kissed her hair, her eyes, and her lips.

‘How well I remember your saying that before! Why have you grown so good to me all at once, my Amy? Hearing you speak like that I feel there’s nothing beyond my reach. But I dread to go away from you. If I find that it is hopeless; if I am alone somewhere, and know that the effort is all in vain—’

‘How well I remember you saying that before! Why have you suddenly become so nice to me, my Amy? Hearing you talk like that makes me feel like nothing is out of my reach. But I’m afraid to leave you. If I find that it’s hopeless; if I’m alone somewhere, and realize that the effort is all for nothing—’

‘Then?’

'What's next?'

‘Well, I can leave you free. If I can’t support you, it will be only just that I should give you back your freedom.’

‘Well, I can let you go. If I can’t support you, it’s only fair that I give you back your freedom.’

‘I don’t understand—’

"I don't get it—"

She raised herself and looked into his eyes.

She sat up and looked into his eyes.

‘We won’t talk of that. If you bid me go on with the struggle, I shall do so.’

'Let's not discuss that. If you want me to continue with the fight, I will.'

Amy had hidden her face, and lay silently in his arms for a minute or two. Then she murmured:

Amy hid her face and lay quietly in his arms for a minute or two. Then she whispered:

‘It is so cold here, and so late. Come!’

‘It’s really cold here, and it’s late. Come on!’

‘So early. There goes three o’clock.’

‘So early. It’s already three o’clock.’

The next day they talked much of this new project. As there was sunshine Amy accompanied her husband for his walk in the afternoon; it was long since they had been out together. An open carriage that passed, followed by two young girls on horseback, gave a familiar direction to Reardon’s thoughts.

The next day they talked a lot about this new project. Since it was sunny, Amy went with her husband for a walk in the afternoon; it had been a while since they had gone out together. An open carriage that drove by, followed by two young girls on horseback, sparked Reardon's thoughts.

‘If one were as rich as those people! They pass so close to us; they see us, and we see them; but the distance between is infinity. They don’t belong to the same world as we poor wretches. They see everything in a different light; they have powers which would seem supernatural if we were suddenly endowed with them.’

‘If only we were as rich as those people! They walk so close to us; they see us, and we see them; but the gap between us is endless. They don’t belong to the same world as us poor souls. They see everything in a different way; they have abilities that would seem like magic if we were suddenly given them.’

‘Of course,’ assented his companion with a sigh.

‘Of course,’ agreed his companion with a sigh.

‘Just fancy, if one got up in the morning with the thought that no reasonable desire that occurred to one throughout the day need remain ungratified! And that it would be the same, any day and every day, to the end of one’s life! Look at those houses; every detail, within and without, luxurious. To have such a home as that!’

‘Just imagine, if you woke up in the morning knowing that every reasonable desire you had throughout the day could be fulfilled! And that it would be like that, any day and every day, for the rest of your life! Look at those houses; every detail, inside and out, is luxurious. To have a home like that!’

‘And they are empty creatures who live there.’

‘And they are empty beings who live there.’

‘They do live, Amy, at all events. Whatever may be their faculties, they all have free scope. I have often stood staring at houses like these until I couldn’t believe that the people owning them were mere human beings like myself. The power of money is so hard to realise; one who has never had it marvels at the completeness with which it transforms every detail of life. Compare what we call our home with that of rich people; it moves one to scornful laughter. I have no sympathy with the stoical point of view; between wealth and poverty is just the difference between the whole man and the maimed. If my lower limbs are paralysed I may still be able to think, but then there is such a thing in life as walking. As a poor devil I may live nobly; but one happens to be made with faculties of enjoyment, and those have to fall into atrophy. To be sure, most rich people don’t understand their happiness; if they did, they would move and talk like gods—which indeed they are.’

‘They are alive, Amy, that’s for sure. No matter what their abilities are, they all have complete freedom. I often find myself staring at houses like these, and I can’t believe the people who own them are just ordinary humans like me. The power of money is so hard to grasp; someone who has never had it is amazed by how completely it changes every aspect of life. Compare what we call our home to that of wealthy people; it’s enough to make you laugh in scorn. I don’t sympathize with the stoic perspective; the difference between wealth and poverty is like the difference between a whole person and someone who is incomplete. If my legs are paralyzed, I might still be able to think, but there is something in life called walking. As a poor person, I can live with dignity; but we are all made with the ability to enjoy life, and those abilities can go to waste. Of course, most wealthy people don’t recognize their happiness; if they did, they would act and speak like gods—which, in a way, they are.’

Amy’s brow was shadowed. A wise man, in Reardon’s position, would not have chosen this subject to dilate upon.

Amy's brow was furrowed. A wise person in Reardon's position wouldn't have picked this topic to elaborate on.

‘The difference,’ he went on, ‘between the man with money and the man without is simply this: the one thinks, “How shall I use my life?” and the other, “How shall I keep myself alive?” A physiologist ought to be able to discover some curious distinction between the brain of a person who has never given a thought to the means of subsistence, and that of one who has never known a day free from such cares. There must be some special cerebral development representing the mental anguish kept up by poverty.’

'The difference,' he continued, 'between a man with money and a man without it is this: one thinks, "How should I live my life?" while the other thinks, "How do I survive?" A physiologist should be able to identify some interesting differences between the brains of those who have never worried about making a living and those who have never had a day free from those worries. There must be some unique brain development that reflects the mental stress caused by poverty.'

‘I should say,’ put in Amy, ‘that it affects every function of the brain. It isn’t a special point of suffering, but a misery that colours every thought.’

‘I should say,’ added Amy, ‘that it impacts every function of the brain. It’s not just one specific source of pain, but a misery that influences every thought.’

‘True. Can I think of a single subject in all the sphere of my experience without the consciousness that I see it through the medium of poverty? I have no enjoyment which isn’t tainted by that thought, and I can suffer no pain which it doesn’t increase. The curse of poverty is to the modern world just what that of slavery was to the ancient. Rich and destitute stand to each other as free man and bond. You remember the line of Homer I have often quoted about the demoralising effect of enslavement; poverty degrades in the same way.’

‘True. Can I think of a single topic in all my experiences without realizing that I see it through the lens of poverty? I don’t have any enjoyment that isn’t affected by that idea, and I can’t feel any pain that it doesn’t make worse. The burden of poverty is to the modern world what slavery was to the ancient world. The rich and the poor are to each other as free people and slaves. You remember the line from Homer that I’ve quoted often about the damaging impact of enslavement; poverty degrades in the same way.’

‘It has had its effect upon me—I know that too well,’ said Amy, with bitter frankness.

“It has impacted me—I know that all too well,” Amy said, with bitter honesty.

Reardon glanced at her, and wished to make some reply, but he could not say what was in his thoughts.

Reardon looked at her and wanted to respond, but he couldn’t find the words to express what he was thinking.

He worked on at his story. Before he had reached the end of it, ‘Margaret Home’ was published, and one day arrived a parcel containing the six copies to which an author is traditionally entitled. Reardon was not so old in authorship that he could open the packet without a slight flutter of his pulse. The book was tastefully got up; Amy exclaimed with pleasure as she caught sight of the cover and lettering:

He kept working on his story. Before he finished it, ‘Margaret Home’ had been published, and one day he received a package containing the six copies that an author usually gets. Reardon wasn't so experienced as an author that he could open the package without a little excitement in his heart. The book was beautifully designed; Amy gasped with delight when she saw the cover and title.

‘It may succeed, Edwin. It doesn’t look like a book that fails, does it?’

‘It might succeed, Edwin. It doesn’t seem like a book that would fail, does it?’

She laughed at her own childishness. But Reardon had opened one of the volumes, and was glancing over the beginning of a chapter.

She laughed at her own immaturity. But Reardon had opened one of the books and was skimming the start of a chapter.

‘Good God!’ he cried. ‘What hellish torment it was to write that page! I did it one morning when the fog was so thick that I had to light the lamp. It brings cold sweat to my forehead to read the words. And to think that people will skim over it without a suspicion of what it cost the writer!—What execrable style! A potboy could write better narrative.’

‘Good God!’ he exclaimed. ‘What a hellish struggle it was to write that page! I did it one morning when the fog was so thick that I had to turn on the lamp. It brings cold sweat to my forehead to read those words. And to think that people will skim through it without any idea of what it cost the writer!—What awful style! A delivery guy could write a better story.’

‘Who are to have copies?’

“Who will get copies?”

‘No one, if I could help it. But I suppose your mother will expect one?’

‘No one, if I can help it. But I guess your mom will expect one?’

‘And—Milvain?’

‘And—Milvain?’

‘I suppose so,’ he replied indifferently. ‘But not unless he asks for it. Poor old Biffen, of course; though it’ll make him despise me. Then one for ourselves. That leaves two—to light the fire with. We have been rather short of fire-paper since we couldn’t afford our daily newspaper.’

‘I guess so,’ he replied casually. ‘But only if he asks for it. Poor old Biffen, of course; although it’ll make him hate me. Then one for ourselves. That leaves two—to start the fire with. We’ve been pretty short on fire-paper since we couldn’t afford our daily newspaper.’

‘Will you let me give one to Mrs Carter?’

‘Will you let me give one to Mrs. Carter?’

‘As you please.’

"Do as you like."

He took one set and added it to the row of his productions which stood on a topmost shelf Amy laid her hand upon his shoulder and contemplated the effect of this addition.

He took one set and added it to the row of his productions that were on a top shelf. Amy placed her hand on his shoulder and thought about how this addition would impact things.

‘The works of Edwin Reardon,’ she said, with a smile.

‘The works of Edwin Reardon,’ she said, smiling.

‘The work, at all events—rather a different thing, unfortunately. Amy, if only I were back at the time when I wrote “On Neutral Ground,” and yet had you with me! How full my mind was in those days! Then I had only to look, and I saw something; now I strain my eyes, but can make out nothing more than nebulous grotesques. I used to sit down knowing so well what I had to say; now I strive to invent, and never come at anything. Suppose you pick up a needle with warm, supple fingers; try to do it when your hand is stiff and numb with cold; there’s the difference between my manner of work in those days and what it is now.’

‘The work is, after all, something quite different now, unfortunately. Amy, if only I could go back to the time when I wrote “On Neutral Ground,” and still have you by my side! My mind was so full back then! I only had to look, and I saw something; now I strain my eyes but can only make out vague shapes. I used to sit down knowing exactly what I wanted to say; now I struggle to come up with ideas and never seem to get anywhere. Imagine trying to pick up a needle with warm, flexible fingers; now try doing it when your hand is stiff and cold; that’s the difference between how I used to work and how I work now.’

‘But you are going to get back your health. You will write better than ever.’

‘But you’re going to get your health back. You’ll write better than ever.’

‘We shall see. Of course there was a great deal of miserable struggle even then, but I remember it as insignificant compared with the hours of contented work. I seldom did anything in the mornings except think and prepare; towards evening I felt myself getting ready, and at last I sat down with the first lines buzzing in my head. And I used to read a great deal at the same time. Whilst I was writing “On Neutral Ground” I went solidly through the “Divina Commedia,” a canto each day. Very often I wrote till after midnight, but occasionally I got my quantum finished much earlier, and then I used to treat myself to a ramble about the streets. I can recall exactly the places where some of my best ideas came to me. You remember the scene in Prendergast’s lodgings? That flashed on me late one night as I was turning out of Leicester Square into the slum that leads to Clare Market; ah, how well I remember! And I went home to my garret in a state of delightful fever, and scribbled notes furiously before going to bed.’

‘We’ll see. Sure, there was a lot of tough times back then, but I remember it as minor compared to the hours of satisfying work. I rarely did anything in the mornings except think and prepare; by evening, I felt myself getting ready, and finally, I sat down with the first lines buzzing in my head. I also read a lot at the same time. While I was writing “On Neutral Ground,” I went through the “Divina Commedia” completely, reading one canto each day. I often wrote past midnight, but sometimes I finished my quota much earlier, and then I treated myself to a walk around the streets. I can clearly recall the places where some of my best ideas came to me. Do you remember the scene in Prendergast’s lodgings? That struck me one late night as I was turning out of Leicester Square into the slum that leads to Clare Market; oh, how well I remember! And I went back to my room in a wonderful frenzy, scribbling notes furiously before going to bed.’

‘Don’t trouble; it’ll all come back to you.’

‘Don’t worry; it’ll all come back to you.’

‘But in those days I hadn’t to think of money. I could look forward and see provision for my needs. I never asked myself what I should get for the book; I assure you, that never came into my head—never. The work was done for its own sake. No hurry to finish it; if I felt that I wasn’t up to the mark, I just waited till the better mood returned. “On Neutral Ground” took me seven months; now I have to write three volumes in nine weeks, with the lash stinging on my back if I miss a day.’

‘But back then, I didn’t have to worry about money. I could look ahead and see that my needs would be taken care of. I never asked myself what I would get for the book; I promise you, that never crossed my mind—never. The work was done for its own sake. There was no rush to finish; if I felt like I wasn’t up to it, I just waited until I was in a better mood. “On Neutral Ground” took me seven months; now I have to write three volumes in nine weeks, with the pressure mounting if I miss a day.’

He brooded for a little.

He thought for a bit.

‘I suppose there must be some rich man somewhere who has read one or two of my books with a certain interest. If only I could encounter him and tell him plainly what a cursed state I am in, perhaps he would help me to some means of earning a couple of pounds a week. One has heard of such things.’

‘I guess there has to be some wealthy person out there who has read one or two of my books with some interest. If only I could meet him and honestly share how unfortunate my situation is, maybe he would help me find a way to make a couple of pounds a week. People talk about these things.’

‘In the old days.’

"Back in the day."

‘Yes. I doubt if it ever happens now. Coleridge wouldn’t so easily meet with his Gillman nowadays. Well, I am not a Coleridge, and I don’t ask to be lodged under any man’s roof; but if I could earn money enough to leave me good long evenings unspoilt by fear of the workhouse—’

‘Yes. I doubt that it ever happens now. Coleridge wouldn’t easily find his Gillman these days. Well, I’m not a Coleridge, and I don’t expect to stay under anyone’s roof; but if I could make enough money to have some nice long evenings free from the worry of the workhouse—’

Amy turned away, and presently went to look after her little boy.

Amy turned away and soon went to check on her little boy.

A few days after this they had a visit from Milvain. He came about ten o’clock in the evening.

A few days later, Milvain visited them. He arrived around ten o’clock in the evening.

‘I’m not going to stay,’ he announced. ‘But where’s my copy of “Margaret Home”? I am to have one, I suppose?’

‘I’m not going to stay,’ he said. ‘But where’s my copy of “Margaret Home”? I should have one, right?’

‘I have no particular desire that you should read it,’ returned Reardon.

‘I don’t really want you to read it,’ Reardon replied.

‘But I HAVE read it, my dear fellow. Got it from the library on the day of publication; I had a suspicion that you wouldn’t send me a copy. But I must possess your opera omnia.’

‘But I HAVE read it, my dear friend. I got it from the library on the day it was published; I had a feeling you wouldn’t send me a copy. But I must have your complete works.’

‘Here it is. Hide it away somewhere.—You may as well sit down for a few minutes.’

‘Here it is. Put it away somewhere. You might as well sit down for a few minutes.’

‘I confess I should like to talk about the book, if you don’t mind. It isn’t so utterly and damnably bad as you make out, you know. The misfortune was that you had to make three volumes of it. If I had leave to cut it down to one, it would do you credit.

'I admit I would like to discuss the book, if that's okay with you. It's not as completely awful as you say, you know. The problem is that you had to stretch it out into three volumes. If I had the chance to condense it into one, it would be more flattering for you.'

The motive is good enough.’

The motive is solid enough.

‘Yes. Just good enough to show how badly it’s managed.’

‘Yes. Just sufficient to demonstrate how poorly it's managed.’

Milvain began to expatiate on that well-worn topic, the evils of the three-volume system.

Milvain started to elaborate on that familiar topic, the problems with the three-volume system.

‘A triple-headed monster, sucking the blood of English novelists. One might design an allegorical cartoon for a comic literary paper. By-the-bye, why doesn’t such a thing exist?—a weekly paper treating of things and people literary in a facetious spirit. It would be caviare to the general, but might be supported, I should think. The editor would probably be assassinated, though.’

‘A three-headed monster, draining the life out of English novelists. You could create an allegorical cartoon for a humorous literary magazine. By the way, why doesn’t such a thing exist?—a weekly publication focused on literary topics and people with a lighthearted approach. It would probably be too sophisticated for most, but I think it could find support. The editor would likely end up in trouble, though.’

‘For anyone in my position,’ said Reardon, ‘how is it possible to abandon the three volumes? It is a question of payment. An author of moderate repute may live on a yearly three-volume novel—I mean the man who is obliged to sell his book out and out, and who gets from one to two hundred pounds for it. But he would have to produce four one-volume novels to obtain the same income; and I doubt whether he could get so many published within the twelve months. And here comes in the benefit of the libraries; from the commercial point of view the libraries are indispensable. Do you suppose the public would support the present number of novelists if each book had to be purchased? A sudden change to that system would throw three-fourths of the novelists out of work.’

‘For anyone in my position,’ said Reardon, ‘how is it possible to give up the three volumes? It’s about the money. A moderately popular author can get by on a yearly three-volume novel—I mean someone who has to sell their book outright, earning between one to two hundred pounds for it. But that author would need to write four one-volume novels to make the same income; and I really doubt they could publish that many within a year. This is where libraries come in; from a business perspective, libraries are essential. Do you really think the public would support the current number of novelists if every book had to be bought? A sudden switch to that system would put three-fourths of the novelists out of work.’

‘But there’s no reason why the libraries shouldn’t circulate novels in one volume.’

'But there’s no reason why libraries shouldn't circulate novels in a single volume.'

‘Profits would be less, I suppose. People would take the minimum subscription.’

‘Profits would probably be lower. People would choose the minimum subscription.’

‘Well, to go to the concrete, what about your own one-volume?’

‘Well, to get specific, what about your own single volume?’

‘All but done.’

‘Almost done.’

‘And you’ll offer it to Jedwood? Go and see him personally. He’s a very decent fellow, I believe.’

‘And you’ll give it to Jedwood? Go see him in person. He’s a really good guy, I think.’

Milvain stayed only half an hour. The days when he was wont to sit and talk at large through a whole evening were no more; partly because of his diminished leisure, but also for a less simple reason—the growth of something like estrangement between him and Reardon.

Milvain stayed for just half an hour. The days when he used to sit and chat for an entire evening were gone; partly because he had less free time, but also for a more complicated reason—the development of something like a distance between him and Reardon.

‘You didn’t mention your plans,’ said Amy, when the visitor had been gone some time.

‘You didn’t mention your plans,’ Amy said, after the visitor had been gone for a while.

‘No.’

'No.'

Reardon was content with the negative, and his wife made no further remark.

Reardon was fine with the negative, and his wife didn’t say anything more.

The result of advertising the flat was that two or three persons called to make inspection. One of them, a man of military appearance, showed himself anxious to come to terms; he was willing to take the tenement from next quarter-day (June), but wished, if possible, to enter upon possession sooner than that.

The result of advertising the apartment was that two or three people called to check it out. One of them, a guy who looked like he was in the military, seemed eager to strike a deal; he was ready to take the place starting next quarter-day (June), but hoped to move in sooner if possible.

‘Nothing could be better,’ said Amy in colloquy with her husband. ‘If he will pay for the extra time, we shall be only too glad.’

‘Nothing could be better,’ said Amy in conversation with her husband. ‘If he’s willing to pay for the extra time, we’ll be more than happy.’

Reardon mused and looked gloomy. He could not bring himself to regard the experiment before him with hopefulness, and his heart sank at the thought of parting from Amy.

Reardon reflected and looked downcast. He couldn’t seem to see the experiment in front of him with any optimism, and his heart sank at the idea of saying goodbye to Amy.

‘You are very anxious to get rid of me,’ he answered, trying to smile.

‘You’re really eager to get rid of me,’ he replied, attempting to smile.

‘Yes, I am,’ she exclaimed; ‘but simply for your own good, as you know very well.’

‘Yes, I am,’ she said; ‘but it's just for your own good, as you know very well.’

‘Suppose I can’t sell this book?’

‘What if I can’t sell this book?’

‘You will have a few pounds. Send your “Pliny” article to The Wayside. If you come to an end of all your money, mother shall lend you some.’

‘You will have a few pounds. Send your “Pliny” article to The Wayside. If you run out of money, your mom will lend you some.’

‘I am not very likely to do much work in that case.’

‘I probably won’t be doing much work in that case.’

‘Oh, but you will sell the book. You’ll get twenty pounds for it, and that alone would keep you for three months. Think—three months of the best part of the year at the seaside! Oh, you will do wonders!’

‘Oh, but you will sell the book. You’ll get twenty pounds for it, and that alone would keep you for three months. Think—three months of the best part of the year at the seaside! Oh, you will do amazing things!’

The furniture was to be housed at Mrs Yule’s. Neither of them durst speak of selling it; that would have sounded too ominous. As for the locality of Reardon’s retreat, Amy herself had suggested Worthing, which she knew from a visit a few years ago; the advantages were its proximity to London, and the likelihood that very cheap lodgings could be found either in the town or near it. One room would suffice for the hapless author, and his expenses, beyond a trifling rent, would be confined to mere food.

The furniture was going to be stored at Mrs. Yule’s place. Neither of them dared to mention selling it; that would have felt too foreboding. As for where Reardon would stay, Amy herself had proposed Worthing, which she remembered from a visit a few years back; the benefits were its closeness to London and the chance of finding really cheap accommodations either in the town or nearby. One room would be enough for the unfortunate author, and his expenses, aside from a small rent, would only include food.

Oh yes, he might manage on considerably less than a pound a week.

Oh yes, he could get by on a lot less than a dollar a week.

Amy was in much better spirits than for a long time; she appeared to have convinced herself that there was no doubt of the issue of this perilous scheme; that her husband would write a notable book, receive a satisfactory price for it, and so re-establish their home. Yet her moods varied greatly. After all, there was delay in the letting of the flat, and this caused her annoyance. It was whilst the negotiations were still pending that she made her call upon Maud and Dora Milvain; Reardon did not know of her intention to visit them until it had been carried out. She mentioned what she had done in almost a casual manner.

Amy was feeling much better than she had in a long time; she seemed to have convinced herself that there was no doubt about the outcome of this risky plan; that her husband would write a notable book, get a good price for it, and thus restore their home. However, her moods fluctuated a lot. After all, there was a delay in renting out the flat, which annoyed her. It was while the negotiations were still ongoing that she decided to visit Maud and Dora Milvain; Reardon didn’t even know she was going to see them until after she had done it. She mentioned what she had done in a nearly casual way.

‘I had to get it over,’ she said, when Reardon exhibited surprise, ‘and I don’t think I made a very favourable impression.’

‘I had to get it over with,’ she said, when Reardon looked surprised, ‘and I don’t think I made a very good impression.’

‘You told them, I suppose, what we are going to do?’

'You told them, I guess, what we're going to do?'

‘No; I didn’t say a word of it.’

‘No; I didn’t say anything about it.’

‘But why not? It can’t be kept a secret. Milvain will have heard of it already, I should think, from your mother.’

‘But why not? It can't be kept a secret. Milvain has probably already heard about it from your mom.’

‘From mother? But it’s the rarest thing for him to go there. Do you imagine he is a constant visitor? I thought it better to say nothing until the thing is actually done. Who knows what may happen?’

‘From his mom? But it’s super rare for him to go there. Do you really think he’s a regular visitor? I figured it was better to keep quiet until it’s actually done. Who knows what could happen?’

She was in a strange, nervous state, and Reardon regarded her uneasily. He talked very little in these days, and passed hours in dark reverie. His book was finished, and he awaited the publisher’s decision.

She was in a weird, anxious mood, and Reardon looked at her with concern. He barely talked these days and spent hours lost in thought. His book was done, and he was waiting for the publisher's response.





PART THREE





CHAPTER XVI. REJECTION

One of Reardon’s minor worries at this time was the fear that by chance he might come upon a review of ‘Margaret Home.’ Since the publication of his first book he had avoided as far as possible all knowledge of what the critics had to say about him; his nervous temperament could not bear the agitation of reading these remarks, which, however inept, define an author and his work to so many people incapable of judging for themselves. No man or woman could tell him anything in the way of praise or blame which he did not already know quite well; commendation was pleasant, but it so often aimed amiss, and censure was for the most part so unintelligent. In the case of this latest novel he dreaded the sight of a review as he would have done a gash from a rusty knife. The judgments could not but be damnatory, and their expression in journalistic phrase would disturb his mind with evil rancour. No one would have insight enough to appreciate the nature and cause of his book’s demerits; every comment would be wide of the mark; sneer, ridicule, trite objection, would but madden him with a sense of injustice.

One of Reardon’s minor worries at this time was the fear that he might accidentally come across a review of ‘Margaret Home.’ Since the release of his first book, he had tried to avoid learning about what the critics thought of him as much as possible; his nervous nature couldn’t handle the stress of reading those comments, which, no matter how clueless, shape an author and their work in the eyes of many people who can’t judge for themselves. No one could tell him anything about praise or criticism that he didn’t already know; praise was nice, but it often missed the mark, and criticism was mostly thoughtless. With this latest novel, he dreaded seeing a review as much as he would have dreaded a cut from a rusty knife. The judgments would undoubtedly be harsh, and the way they were expressed in newspaper language would fill his mind with resentment. No one would have the insight to understand the nature and causes of his book’s flaws; every comment would be off-base, and sneering, ridicule, and cliché objections would only drive him mad with a sense of unfairness.

His position was illogical—one result of the moral weakness which was allied with his aesthetic sensibility. Putting aside the worthlessness of current reviewing, the critic of an isolated book has of course nothing to do with its author’s state of mind and body any more than with the condition of his purse. Reardon would have granted this, but he could not command his emotions. He was in passionate revolt against the base necessities which compelled him to put forth work in no way representing his healthy powers, his artistic criterion. Not he had written this book, but his accursed poverty. To assail him as the author was, in his feeling, to be guilty of brutal insult. When by ill-hap a notice in one of the daily papers came under his eyes, it made his blood boil with a fierceness of hatred only possible to him in a profoundly morbid condition; he could not steady his hand for half an hour after. Yet this particular critic only said what was quite true—that the novel contained not a single striking scene and not one living character; Reardon had expressed himself about it in almost identical terms. But he saw himself in the position of one sickly and all but destitute man against a relentless world, and every blow directed against him appeared dastardly. He could have cried ‘Coward!’ to the writer who wounded him.

His position was illogical—one result of the moral weakness that came with his artistic sensitivity. Setting aside the uselessness of current reviews, the critic of one isolated book has nothing to do with its author’s mental or physical state, just like he doesn’t care about the author's financial situation. Reardon would have agreed with this, but he couldn't control his emotions. He was passionately rebelling against the harsh realities that forced him to produce work that didn’t represent his true abilities or artistic standards. It wasn’t him who had written this book, but his damn poverty. Attacking him as the author felt like a brutal insult to him. When, by unfortunate chance, he saw a review in one of the daily papers, it made his blood boil with a hatred that only someone in a deeply troubled state could feel; he couldn’t steady his hand for half an hour afterward. Yet this particular critic only stated what was entirely true—that the novel lacked any memorable scenes and didn’t have a single vivid character; Reardon had described it almost the same way himself. But he felt like a sickly, nearly destitute man facing a heartless world, and every blow directed at him felt cowardly. He could have shouted ‘Coward!’ at the writer who hurt him.

The would-be sensational story which was now in Mr Jedwood’s hands had perhaps more merit than ‘Margaret Home’; its brevity, and the fact that nothing more was aimed at than a concatenation of brisk events, made it not unreadable. But Reardon thought of it with humiliation. If it were published as his next work it would afford final proof to such sympathetic readers as he might still retain that he had hopelessly written himself out, and was now endeavouring to adapt himself to an inferior public. In spite of his dire necessities he now and then hoped that Jedwood might refuse the thing.

The potential sensational story that was now in Mr. Jedwood's hands probably had more value than 'Margaret Home'; its short length and the fact that it only aimed to string together a series of lively events made it somewhat readable. But Reardon thought about it with embarrassment. If it were published as his next work, it would be clear to the few sympathetic readers he might still have that he had hopelessly written himself out and was now trying to cater to a lesser audience. Despite his dire needs, he occasionally hoped that Jedwood would reject it.

At moments he looked with sanguine eagerness to the three or four months he was about to spend in retirement, but such impulses were the mere outcome of his nervous disease. He had no faith in himself under present conditions; the permanence of his sufferings would mean the sure destruction of powers he still possessed, though they were not at his command. Yet he believed that his mind was made up as to the advisability of trying this last resource; he was impatient for the day of departure, and in the interval merely killed time as best he might. He could not read, and did not attempt to gather ideas for his next book; the delusion that his mind was resting made an excuse to him for the barrenness of day after day. His ‘Pliny’ article had been despatched to The Wayside, and would possibly be accepted. But he did not trouble himself about this or other details; it was as though his mind could do nothing more than grasp the bald fact of impending destitution; with the steps towards that final stage he seemed to have little concern.

At times, he looked forward with hopeful excitement to the three or four months he was about to spend in seclusion, but those feelings were just the result of his anxiety. He didn’t trust himself under the current circumstances; the ongoing nature of his suffering would surely lead to the loss of the abilities he still had, even if they were beyond his reach. Still, he felt sure about the wisdom of trying this last option; he was eager for the departure date and passed the time in the meantime however he could. He couldn’t read and didn’t try to come up with ideas for his next book; the illusion that his mind was resting served as an excuse for the emptiness of day after day. His ‘Pliny’ article had been sent to The Wayside and might be accepted. But he didn’t concern himself with this or any other details; it was as if his mind could only focus on the harsh reality of his soon-to-come poverty; he seemed to have little interest in the steps leading to that final stage.

One evening he set forth to make a call upon Harold Biffen, whom he had not seen since the realist called to acknowledge the receipt of a copy of ‘Margaret Home’ left at his lodgings when he was out. Biffen resided in Clipstone Street, a thoroughfare discoverable in the dim district which lies between Portland Place and Tottenham Court Road. On knocking at the door of the lodging-house, Reardon learnt that his friend was at home. He ascended to the third storey and tapped at a door which allowed rays of lamplight to issue from great gaps above and below. A sound of voices came from within, and on entering he perceived that Biffen was engaged with a pupil.

One evening, he went to visit Harold Biffen, whom he hadn’t seen since the realist came by to acknowledge receiving a copy of ‘Margaret Home’ that had been left at his place while he was out. Biffen lived on Clipstone Street, a road located in the dim area between Portland Place and Tottenham Court Road. When he knocked on the door of the boarding house, Reardon found out that his friend was home. He climbed up to the third floor and knocked on a door from which light streamed through large gaps above and below. He could hear voices inside, and upon entering, he saw that Biffen was with a student.

‘They didn’t tell me you had a visitor,’ he said. ‘I’ll call again later.’

‘They didn’t tell me you had a visitor,’ he said. ‘I’ll call back later.’

‘No need to go away,’ replied Biffen, coming forward to shake hands. ‘Take a book for a few minutes. Mr Baker won’t mind.’

‘No need to leave,’ Biffen said, stepping forward to shake hands. ‘Grab a book for a few minutes. Mr. Baker won’t mind.’

It was a very small room, with a ceiling so low that the tall lodger could only just stand upright with safety; perhaps three inches intervened between his head and the plaster, which was cracked, grimy, cobwebby. A small scrap of weedy carpet lay in front of the fireplace; elsewhere the chinky boards were unconcealed. The furniture consisted of a round table, which kept such imperfect balance on its central support that the lamp entrusted to it looked in a dangerous position, of three small cane-bottomed chairs, a small wash-hand-stand with sundry rude appurtenances, and a chair-bedstead which the tenant opened at the hour of repose and spread with certain primitive trappings at present kept in a cupboard. There was no bookcase, but a few hundred battered volumes were arranged some on the floor and some on a rough chest. The weather was too characteristic of an English spring to make an empty grate agreeable to the eye, but Biffen held it an axiom that fires were unseasonable after the first of May.

It was a tiny room, with a ceiling so low that the tall tenant could barely stand up without hitting his head; there were maybe three inches between his head and the cracked, dirty, cobweb-covered plaster. A small piece of faded carpet lay in front of the fireplace; everywhere else, the worn floorboards were exposed. The furniture included a round table that was so unsteady on its central support that the lamp sitting on it looked like it might fall over at any moment, three small cane-bottom chairs, a small sink with various basic toiletries, and a chair-bed that the tenant unfolded at bedtime and covered with some simple bedding kept in a cupboard. There was no bookshelf, but a few hundred battered books were scattered on the floor and piled on a rough chest. The weather was typical for an English spring, making the empty fireplace unappealing, but Biffen believed it was a rule that fires were inappropriate after May 1st.

The individual referred to as Mr Baker, who sat at the table in the attitude of a student, was a robust, hard-featured, black-haired young man of two-or three-and-twenty; judging from his weather-beaten cheeks and huge hands, as well as from the garb he wore, one would have presumed that study was not his normal occupation. There was something of the riverside about him; he might be a dockman, or even a bargeman. He looked intelligent, however, and bore himself with much modesty.

The person known as Mr. Baker, who sat at the table like a student, was a sturdy, rugged-looking young man in his early twenties, with black hair. His weathered cheeks and large hands, along with his attire, suggested that studying wasn’t his usual job. He had a vibe that reminded you of the riverside; he could easily be a dockworker or even a barge worker. However, he looked smart and carried himself with a lot of humility.

‘Now do endeavour to write in shorter sentences,’ said Biffen, who sat down by him and resumed the lesson, Reardon having taken up a volume. ‘This isn’t bad—it isn’t bad at all, I assure you; but you have put all you had to say into three appalling periods, whereas you ought to have made about a dozen.’

‘Now please try to write in shorter sentences,’ said Biffen, who sat down next to him and continued the lesson, while Reardon picked up a book. ‘This isn’t bad—it’s really not bad at all, I promise you; but you’ve crammed everything you wanted to say into three terrible sentences, when you should have written about a dozen.’

‘There it is, sir; there it is!’ exclaimed the man, smoothing his wiry hair. ‘I can’t break it up. The thoughts come in a lump, if I may say so. To break it up—there’s the art of compersition.’

‘There it is, sir; there it is!’ the man exclaimed, smoothing his wiry hair. ‘I can’t break it apart. The thoughts come all at once, if I may say so. To break it apart—that's the skill of composition.’

Reardon could not refrain from a glance at the speaker, and Biffen, whose manner was very grave and kindly, turned to his friend with an explanation of the difficulties with which the student was struggling.

Reardon couldn't help but glance at the speaker, and Biffen, whose demeanor was very serious and kind, turned to his friend to explain the challenges the student was facing.

‘Mr Baker is preparing for the examination of the outdoor Customs Department. One of the subjects is English composition, and really, you know, that isn’t quite such a simple matter as some people think.’

‘Mr. Baker is getting ready for the exam for the outdoor Customs Department. One of the subjects is English composition, and honestly, that’s not as easy as some people believe.’

Baker beamed upon the visitor with a homely, good-natured smile.

Baker smiled warmly at the visitor with a friendly, welcoming expression.

‘I can make headway with the other things, sir,’ he said, striking the table lightly with his clenched fist. ‘There’s handwriting, there’s orthography, there’s arithmetic; I’m not afraid of one of ‘em, as Mr Biffen’ll tell you, sir. But when it comes to compersition, that brings out the sweat on my forehead, I do assure you.

"I can make progress with the other subjects, sir," he said, tapping the table gently with his fist. "There’s handwriting, spelling, and math; I’m not afraid of any of them, as Mr. Biffen will tell you, sir. But when it comes to composition, that really makes me sweat, I assure you."

‘You’re not the only man in that case, Mr Baker,’ replied Reardon.

‘You’re not the only guy in that situation, Mr. Baker,’ replied Reardon.

‘It’s thought a tough job in general, is it, sir?’

‘Is it considered a tough job in general, sir?’

‘It is indeed.’

"It is, indeed."

‘Two hundred marks for compersition,’ continued the man. ‘Now how many would they have given me for this bit of a try, Mr Biffen?’

‘Two hundred marks for compensation,’ continued the man. ‘So, how many would they have given me for this little attempt, Mr. Biffen?’

‘Well, well; I can’t exactly say. But you improve; you improve, decidedly. Peg away for another week or two.’

‘Well, well; I can’t say for sure. But you’re getting better; you’re definitely getting better. Keep at it for another week or two.’

‘Oh, don’t fear me, sir! I’m not easily beaten when I’ve set my mind on a thing, and I’ll break up the compersition yet, see if I don’t!’

‘Oh, don’t be afraid of me, sir! I’m not easily defeated once I set my mind on something, and I’ll break up the competition yet, just wait and see!’

Again his fist descended upon the table in a way that reminded one of the steam-hammer cracking a nut.

Again, his fist slammed down on the table like a steam hammer breaking a nut.

The lesson proceeded for about ten minutes, Reardon, under pretence of reading, following it with as much amusement as anything could excite in him nowadays. At length Mr Baker stood up, collected his papers and books, and seemed about to depart; but, after certain uneasy movements and glances, he said to Biffen in a subdued voice:

The lesson went on for about ten minutes. Reardon, pretending to read, followed it with as much interest as anything could stir in him these days. Finally, Mr. Baker got up, gathered his papers and books, and looked like he was about to leave; however, after some awkward movements and glances, he spoke to Biffen in a quiet voice:

‘Perhaps I might speak to you outside the door a minute, sir?’

‘Could I talk to you outside the door for a second, sir?’

He and the teacher went out, the door closed, and Reardon heard sounds of muffled conversation. In a minute or two a heavy footstep descended the stairs, and Biffen re-entered the room.

He and the teacher went outside, the door shut, and Reardon heard muffled voices. A minute or two later, a heavy footstep came down the stairs, and Biffen came back into the room.

‘Now that’s a good, honest fellow,’ he said, in an amused tone. ‘It’s my pay-night, but he didn’t like to fork out money before you. A very unusual delicacy in a man of that standing. He pays me sixpence for an hour’s lesson; that brings me two shillings a week. I sometimes feel a little ashamed to take his money, but then the fact is he’s a good deal better off than I am.’

‘Now that’s a good, honest guy,’ he said with a chuckle. ‘It’s my payday, but he didn’t want to hand over cash before you. That’s pretty rare for someone like him. He gives me sixpence for an hour’s lesson; that adds up to two shillings a week. I sometimes feel a bit guilty about taking his money, but the truth is he’s a lot better off than I am.’

‘Will he get a place in the Customs, do you think?’

‘Do you think he'll get a position in Customs?’

‘Oh, I’ve no doubt of it. If it seemed unlikely, I should have told him so before this. To be sure, that’s a point I have often to consider, and once or twice my delicacy has asserted itself at the expense of my pocket. There was a poor consumptive lad came to me not long ago and wanted Latin lessons; talked about going in for the London Matric., on his way to the pulpit. I couldn’t stand it. After a lesson or two I told him his cough was too bad, and he had no right to study until he got into better health; that was better, I think, than saying plainly he had no chance on earth. But the food I bought with his money was choking me. Oh yes, Baker will make his way right enough. A good, modest fellow.

‘Oh, I have no doubt about it. If it seemed unlikely, I would have told him so by now. Of course, that's something I often consider, and a couple of times my sensitivity has cost me money. There was a poor, sickly guy who came to me not long ago wanting Latin lessons; he talked about preparing for the London Matriculation, aiming for the pulpit. I couldn’t take it. After a lesson or two, I told him his cough was too severe, and he shouldn’t be studying until he got healthier; that seemed better than bluntly saying he had no chance at all. But the food I bought with his payment was hard to swallow. Oh yes, Baker will do just fine. He’s a decent, humble guy.

You noticed how respectfully he spoke to me? It doesn’t make any difference to him that I live in a garret like this; I’m a man of education, and he can separate this fact from my surroundings.’

You noticed how respectfully he talked to me? It doesn’t matter to him that I live in a place like this; I’m an educated man, and he can separate that from my circumstances.

‘Biffen, why don’t you get some decent position? Surely you might.’

‘Biffen, why don’t you find a better job? You definitely could.’

‘What position? No school would take me; I have neither credentials nor conventional clothing. For the same reason I couldn’t get a private tutorship in a rich family. No, no; it’s all right. I keep myself alive, and I get on with my work.—By-the-bye, I’ve decided to write a book called “Mr Bailey, Grocer.”’

‘What position? No school would take me; I have no credentials and I don't dress the part. That's the same reason I couldn't get a private tutoring job with a wealthy family. No, it's fine. I manage to get by, and I focus on my work. By the way, I’ve decided to write a book called “Mr. Bailey, Grocer.”’

‘What’s the idea?’

'What's the plan?'

‘An objectionable word, that. Better say: “What’s the reality?” Well, Mr Bailey is a grocer in a little street by here. I have dealt with him for a long time, and as he’s a talkative fellow I’ve come to know a good deal about him and his history. He’s fond of talking about the struggle he had in his first year of business. He had no money of his own, but he married a woman who had saved forty-five pounds out of a cat’s-meat business. You should see that woman! A big, coarse, squinting creature; at the time of the marriage she was a widow and forty-two years old. Now I’m going to tell the true story of Mr Bailey’s marriage and of his progress as a grocer. It’ll be a great book—a great book!’

‘That’s an objectionable word. Better to say: “What’s the reality?” Well, Mr. Bailey is a grocer on a small street nearby. I’ve been dealing with him for a long time, and since he loves to talk, I’ve learned a lot about him and his background. He enjoys sharing stories about the struggles he faced in his first year of business. He didn’t have any money of his own, but he married a woman who had saved forty-five pounds from a cat’s-meat business. You should see her! A large, coarse, squinting woman; at the time of their marriage, she was a widow and forty-two years old. Now I’m going to tell the real story of Mr. Bailey’s marriage and his journey as a grocer. It’s going to be a great book—a great book!’

He walked up and down the room, fervid with his conception.

He paced the room, passionate about his idea.

‘There’ll be nothing bestial in it, you know. The decently ignoble—as I’ve so often said. The thing’ll take me a year at least. I shall do it slowly, lovingly. One volume, of course; the length of the ordinary French novel. There’s something fine in the title, don’t you think? “Mr Bailey, Grocer”!’

"There won’t be anything savage about it, you know. Just decently low— as I’ve often mentioned. This will take me at least a year. I plan to do it slowly and with care. Just one volume, of course; the length of a typical French novel. Isn’t there something nice about the title? 'Mr. Bailey, Grocer'!"

‘I envy you, old fellow,’ said Reardon, sighing. ‘You have the right fire in you; you have zeal and energy. Well, what do you think I have decided to do?’

‘I envy you, my friend,’ said Reardon, sighing. ‘You have the right passion in you; you have enthusiasm and drive. So, what do you think I've decided to do?’

‘I should like to hear.’

"I'd like to hear."

Reardon gave an account of his project. The other listened gravely, seated across a chair with his arms on the back.

Reardon shared the details of his project. The other person listened seriously, sitting in a chair with his arms resting on the back.

‘Your wife is in agreement with this?’

‘Does your wife agree with this?’

‘Oh yes.’ He could not bring himself to say that Amy had suggested it. ‘She has great hopes that the change will be just what I need.’

‘Oh yes.’ He couldn’t bring himself to say that Amy had suggested it. ‘She really believes that this change will be exactly what I need.’

‘I should say so too—if you were going to rest. But if you have to set to work at once it seems to me very doubtful.’

‘I would say the same—if you were planning to take a break. But if you need to get started right away, it seems pretty uncertain to me.’

‘Never mind. For Heaven’s sake don’t discourage me! If this fails I think—upon my soul, I think I shall kill myself.’

‘Never mind. Please, for heaven's sake, don't discourage me! If this doesn't work out, I truly believe—honestly, I think I might end my life.’

‘Pooh!’ exclaimed Biffen, gently. ‘With a wife like yours?’

‘Pooh!’ Biffen said softly. ‘With a wife like yours?’

‘Just because of that.’

"Just because of that."

‘No, no; there’ll be some way out of it. By-the-bye, I passed Mrs Reardon this morning, but she didn’t see me. It was in Tottenham Court Road, and Milvain was with her. I felt myself too seedy in appearance to stop and speak.’

‘No, no; there’s got to be a way out of this. By the way, I saw Mrs. Reardon this morning, but she didn’t notice me. It was on Tottenham Court Road, and Milvain was with her. I felt too rough in appearance to stop and say hi.’

‘In Tottenham Court Road?’

"In Tottenham Court Road?"

That was not the detail of the story which chiefly held Reardon’s attention, yet he did not purposely make a misleading remark. His mind involuntarily played this trick.

That wasn't the part of the story that really caught Reardon's attention, but he didn't intend to be misleading. His mind just naturally did this.

‘I only saw them just as they were passing,’ pursued Biffen. ‘Oh, I knew I had something to tell you! Have you heard that Whelpdale is going to be married?’

‘I only saw them as they were passing by,’ continued Biffen. ‘Oh, I knew I had something to tell you! Have you heard that Whelpdale is getting married?’

Reardon shook his head in a preoccupied way.

Reardon shook his head, thinking.

‘I had a note from him this morning, telling me. He asked me to look him up to-night, and he’d let me know all about it. Let’s go together, shall we?’

‘I got a note from him this morning, telling me. He asked me to come see him tonight, and he’d fill me in on everything. Let’s go together, okay?’

‘I don’t feel much in the humour for Whelpdale. I’ll walk with you, and go on home.’

‘I’m not really in the mood for Whelpdale. I’ll walk with you and then head home.’

‘No, no; come and see him. It’ll do you good to talk a little.—But I must positively eat a mouthful before we go. I’m afraid you won’t care to join?’

‘No, no; come and see him. It'll really help you to chat a bit.—But I definitely need to grab a quick bite before we go. I’m worried you won’t want to join?’

He opened his cupboard, and brought out a loaf of bread and a saucer of dripping, with salt and pepper.

He opened his cupboard and took out a loaf of bread and a saucer of dripping, with salt and pepper.

‘Better dripping this than I’ve had for a long time. I get it at Mr Bailey’s—that isn’t his real name, of course. He assures me it comes from a large hotel where his wife’s sister is a kitchen-maid, and that it’s perfectly pure; they very often mix flour with it, you know, and perhaps more obnoxious things that an economical man doesn’t care to reflect upon. Now, with a little pepper and salt, this bread and dripping is as appetising food as I know. I often make a dinner of it.’

‘This is the best dripping I've had in a long time. I get it at Mr. Bailey's—that's not his real name, of course. He tells me it comes from a big hotel where his wife's sister is a kitchen maid, and that it’s completely pure; they often mix flour with it, you know, and maybe some nastier things that a thrifty person doesn't want to think about. Now, with a little pepper and salt, this bread and dripping is some of the most appetizing food I know. I often make it my dinner.’

‘I have done the same myself before now. Do you ever buy pease-pudding?’

‘I have done the same thing myself before. Do you ever buy pea pudding?’

‘I should think so! I get magnificent pennyworths at a shop in Cleveland Street, of a very rich quality indeed. Excellent faggots they have there, too. I’ll give you a supper of them some night before you go.’

‘I would think so! I get amazing deals at a shop on Cleveland Street, really high quality stuff. They have excellent faggots there too. I’ll treat you to a dinner of them some night before you leave.’

Biffen rose to enthusiasm in the contemplation of these dainties.

Biffen became excited when he thought about these treats.

He ate his bread and dripping with knife and fork; this always made the fare seem more substantial.

He ate his bread and dripping with a knife and fork; this always made the meal seem more filling.

‘Is it very cold out?’ he asked, rising from the table. ‘Need I put my overcoat on?’

"Is it really cold outside?" he asked, getting up from the table. "Do I need to put on my overcoat?"

This overcoat, purchased second-hand three years ago, hung on a door-nail. Comparative ease of circumstances had restored to the realist his ordinary indoor garment—a morning coat of the cloth called diagonal, rather large for him, but in better preservation than the other articles of his attire.

This overcoat, bought second-hand three years ago, was hanging on a door handle. Some improvement in his situation had allowed the realist to put on his usual indoor outfit—a morning coat made of diagonal cloth, a bit too big for him, but in better shape than the rest of his clothing.

Reardon judging the overcoat necessary, his friend carefully brushed it and drew it on with a caution which probably had reference to starting seams. Then he put into the pocket his pipe, his pouch, his tobacco-stopper, and his matches, murmuring to himself a Greek iambic line which had come into his head a propos of nothing obvious.

Reardon thought the overcoat was essential, so his friend carefully brushed it off and put it on with a caution that likely had to do with the starting seams. Then he stuffed his pipe, pouch, tobacco-stopper, and matches into the pocket, mumbling a Greek iambic line that popped into his head for no apparent reason.

‘Go out,’ he said, ‘and then I’ll extinguish the lamp. Mind the second step down, as usual.’

‘Go ahead and go out,’ he said, ‘and then I’ll turn off the lamp. Watch out for the second step down, like always.’

They issued into Clipstone Street, turned northward, crossed Euston Road, and came into Albany Street, where, in a house of decent exterior, Mr Whelpdale had his present abode. A girl who opened the door requested them to walk up to the topmost storey.

They stepped out onto Clipstone Street, headed north, crossed Euston Road, and arrived at Albany Street, where Mr. Whelpdale lived in a house that looked nice on the outside. A girl who opened the door asked them to go up to the top floor.

A cheery voice called to them from within the room at which they knocked. This lodging spoke more distinctly of civilisation than that inhabited by Biffen; it contained the minimum supply of furniture needed to give it somewhat the appearance of a study, but the articles were in good condition. One end of the room was concealed by a chintz curtain; scrutiny would have discovered behind the draping the essential equipments of a bedchamber.

A cheerful voice called out to them from inside the room where they knocked. This place felt more civilized than the one Biffen lived in; it had just enough furniture to give it a bit of a study vibe, but everything was in good shape. One side of the room was hidden by a chintz curtain; if you looked closely, you would see the necessary items for a bedroom behind the drapery.

Mr Whelpdale sat by the fire, smoking a cigar. He was a plain-featured but graceful and refined-looking man of thirty, with wavy chestnut hair and a trimmed beard which became him well. At present he wore a dressing-gown and was without collar.

Mr. Whelpdale sat by the fire, smoking a cigar. He was an ordinary-looking yet graceful and refined man in his thirties, with wavy chestnut hair and a nicely trimmed beard that suited him well. At the moment, he wore a robe and had no collar on.

‘Welcome, gents both!’ he cried facetiously. ‘Ages since I saw you, Reardon. I’ve been reading your new book. Uncommonly good things in it here and there—uncommonly good.’

‘Welcome, gentlemen!’ he said jokingly. ‘It's been ages since I saw you, Reardon. I’ve been reading your new book. There are some truly great things in it here and there—really impressive.’

Whelpdale had the weakness of being unable to tell a disagreeable truth, and a tendency to flattery which had always made Reardon rather uncomfortable in his society. Though there was no need whatever of his mentioning ‘Margaret Home,’ he preferred to frame smooth fictions rather than keep a silence which might be construed as unfavourable criticism.

Whelpdale couldn't bring himself to say an unpleasant truth and had a habit of flattering people, which always made Reardon feel uneasy around him. Even though he didn't need to bring up 'Margaret Home,' he chose to create nice stories instead of staying quiet, which might have been seen as negative criticism.

‘In the last volume,’ he went on, ‘I think there are one or two things as good as you ever did; I do indeed.’

‘In the last volume,’ he continued, ‘I think there are one or two things that are as good as what you’ve ever done; I really do.’

Reardon made no acknowledgment of these remarks. They irritated him, for he knew their insincerity. Biffen, understanding his friend’s silence, struck in on another subject.

Reardon didn’t respond to these comments. They annoyed him because he recognized their lack of sincerity. Biffen, sensing his friend’s silence, switched to a different topic.

‘Who is this lady of whom you write to me?’

‘Who is this lady you're writing to me about?’

‘Ah, quite a story! I’m going to be married, Reardon. A serious marriage. Light your pipes, and I’ll tell you all about it. Startled you, I suppose, Biffen? Unlikely news, eh? Some people would call it a rash step, I dare say. We shall just take another room in this house, that’s all. I think I can count upon an income of a couple of guineas a week, and I have plans without end that are pretty sure to bring in coin.’

‘Ah, what a story! I’m getting married, Reardon. A serious marriage. Light your pipes, and I’ll fill you in on everything. I imagine I surprised you, Biffen? Unlikely news, huh? Some people would say it's a risky move, I suppose. We’ll just take another room in this house, that’s it. I think I can rely on an income of a couple of pounds a week, and I have endless plans that are bound to bring in money.’

Reardon did not care to smoke, but Biffen lit his pipe and waited with grave interest for the romantic narrative. Whenever he heard of a poor man’s persuading a woman to share his poverty he was eager of details; perchance he himself might yet have that heavenly good fortune.

Reardon wasn’t interested in smoking, but Biffen lit his pipe and waited with serious curiosity for the romantic story. Whenever he heard about a poor man convincing a woman to share his struggles, he couldn’t wait for the details; maybe he would still have that wonderful luck himself.

‘Well,’ began Whelpdale, crossing his legs and watching a wreath he had just puffed from the cigar, ‘you know all about my literary advisership. The business goes on reasonably well. I’m going to extend it in ways I’ll explain to you presently. About six weeks ago I received a letter from a lady who referred to my advertisements, and said she had the manuscript of a novel which she would like to offer for my opinion. Two publishers had refused it, but one with complimentary phrases, and she hoped it mightn’t be impossible to put the thing into acceptable shape. Of course I wrote optimistically, and the manuscript was sent to me.

‘Well,’ started Whelpdale, crossing his legs and watching a swirl of smoke from the cigar he had just puffed, ‘you know all about my role as a literary advisor. The business is doing reasonably well. I’m planning to expand it in ways I’ll explain to you soon. About six weeks ago, I got a letter from a lady who mentioned my ads and said she had the manuscript of a novel she wanted to get my opinion on. Two publishers had turned it down, but one had given her nice compliments, and she hoped it wouldn’t be too hard to shape it into something publishable. Of course, I replied positively, and the manuscript was sent to me.

Well, it wasn’t actually bad—by Jove! you should have seen some of the things I have been asked to recommend to publishers! It wasn’t hopelessly bad by any means, and I gave serious thought to it. After exchange of several letters I asked the authoress to come and see me, that we might save postage stamps and talk things over. She hadn’t given me her address: I had to direct to a stationer’s in Bayswater. She agreed to come, and did come. I had formed a sort of idea, but of course I was quite wrong. Imagine my excitement when there came in a very beautiful girl, a tremendously interesting girl, about one-and-twenty—just the kind of girl that most strongly appeals to me; dark, pale, rather consumptive-looking, slender—no, there’s no describing her; there really isn’t! You must wait till you see her.’

Well, it wasn’t actually bad—oh my! You should have seen some of the things I’ve been asked to recommend to publishers! It wasn’t hopelessly bad by any means, and I took it seriously. After exchanging several letters, I asked the author to come and see me so we could save on postage and discuss things in person. She hadn’t given me her address; I had to send my message to a stationery store in Bayswater. She agreed to come, and she did. I had a sort of image in my mind, but I was totally wrong. Imagine my excitement when a stunningly beautiful girl walked in—an incredibly interesting girl, about twenty-one—just the kind of girl I’m really drawn to; dark, pale, a bit frail-looking, slender—no, there’s no way to describe her; there really isn’t! You’ll just have to wait until you see her.

‘I hope the consumption was only a figure of speech,’ remarked Biffen in his grave way.

‘I hope the consumption was just a figure of speech,’ Biffen said seriously.

‘Oh, there’s nothing serious the matter, I think. A slight cough, poor girl.’

‘Oh, I don’t think there’s anything serious going on. Just a little cough, poor girl.’

‘The deuce!’ interjected Reardon.

"Seriously!" interjected Reardon.

‘Oh, nothing, nothing! It’ll be all right. Well, now, of course we talked over the story—in good earnest, you know. Little by little I induced her to speak of herself—this, after she’d come two or three times—and she told me lamentable things. She was absolutely alone in London, and hadn’t had sufficient food for weeks; had sold all she could of her clothing; and so on. Her home was in Birmingham; she had been driven away by the brutality of a stepmother; a friend lent her a few pounds, and she came to London with an unfinished novel. Well, you know, this kind of thing would be enough to make me soft-hearted to any girl, let alone one who, to begin with, was absolutely my ideal. When she began to express a fear that I was giving too much time to her, that she wouldn’t be able to pay my fees, and so on, I could restrain myself no longer. On the spot I asked her to marry me. I didn’t practise any deception, mind. I told her I was a poor devil who had failed as a realistic novelist and was earning bread in haphazard ways; and I explained frankly that I thought we might carry on various kinds of business together: she might go on with her novel-writing, and—so on. But she was frightened; I had been too abrupt. That’s a fault of mine, you know; but I was so confoundedly afraid of losing her. And I told her as much, plainly.’

‘Oh, it’s nothing, nothing! Everything will be fine. Well, we really talked about the story seriously, you know. Gradually, I got her to open up about herself—this was after she’d come by a couple of times—and she shared some heartbreaking things. She was completely alone in London and hadn’t eaten properly for weeks; she had sold most of her clothes; and so on. Her home was in Birmingham; she had been pushed away by a cruel stepmother; a friend had lent her a few pounds, and she came to London with an unfinished novel. Well, you know, this kind of situation would make me feel sympathetic towards any girl, especially one who was, to begin with, completely my ideal. When she started to worry that I was spending too much time on her, that she wouldn’t be able to pay my fees, and so on, I couldn’t hold back any longer. Right then, I asked her to marry me. I didn’t pretend, you know. I told her I was a struggling writer who had failed as a realistic novelist and was making a living in random ways; and I honestly explained that I thought we could work on different projects together: she could continue writing her novel, and—so on. But she got scared; I had been too abrupt. That’s a flaw of mine, you know; but I was so ridiculously afraid of losing her. And I told her that directly.’

Biffen smiled.

Biffen grinned.

‘This would be exciting,’ he said, ‘if we didn’t know the end of the story.’

‘This would be exciting,’ he said, ‘if we didn’t already know how it ends.’

‘Yes. Pity I didn’t keep it a secret. Well, she wouldn’t say yes, but I could see that she didn’t absolutely say no. “In any case,” I said, “you’ll let me see you often? Fees be hanged! I’ll work day and night for you. I’ll do my utmost to get your novel accepted.” And I implored her to let me lend her a little money. It was very difficult to persuade her, but at last she accepted a few shillings. I could see in her face that she was hungry. Just imagine! A beautiful girl absolutely hungry; it drove me frantic!

‘Yeah. I wish I had kept it to myself. Well, she wouldn’t say yes, but I could tell she didn’t completely say no. “Anyway,” I said, “you’ll let me see you often? Forget the fees! I’ll work day and night for you. I’ll do everything I can to get your novel published.” And I begged her to let me lend her a little money. It was really hard to convince her, but eventually she took a few coins. I could see in her face that she was starving. Just think about it! A beautiful girl completely hungry; it drove me crazy!

But that was a great point gained. After that we saw each other almost every day, and at last—she consented! Did indeed! I can hardly believe it yet. We shall be married in a fortnight’s time.’

But that was a huge win. After that, we saw each other almost every day, and finally—she agreed! Seriously! I can hardly believe it still. We’ll be getting married in two weeks.

‘I congratulate you,’ said Reardon.

"Congrats," said Reardon.

‘So do I,’ sighed Biffen.

“Same here,” sighed Biffen.

‘The day before yesterday she went to Birmingham to see her father and tell him all about the affair. I agreed with her it was as well; the old fellow isn’t badly off; and he may forgive her for running away, though he’s under his wife’s thumb, it appears. I had a note yesterday. She had gone to a friend’s house for the first day. I hoped to have heard again this morning—must to-morrow, in any case. I live, as you may imagine, in wild excitement. Of course, if the old man stumps up a wedding present, all the better. But I don’t care; we’ll make a living somehow. What do you think I’m writing just now? An author’s Guide. You know the kind of thing; they sell splendidly. Of course I shall make it a good advertisement of my business. Then I have a splendid idea. I’m going to advertise: “Novel-writing taught in ten lessons!” What do you think of that? No swindle; not a bit of it. I am quite capable of giving the ordinary man or woman ten very useful lessons. I’ve been working out the scheme; it would amuse you vastly, Reardon. The first lesson deals with the question of subjects, local colour—that kind of thing. I gravely advise people, if they possibly can, to write of the wealthy middle class; that’s the popular subject, you know. Lords and ladies are all very well, but the real thing to take is a story about people who have no titles, but live in good Philistine style. I urge study of horsey matters especially; that’s very important. You must be well up, too, in military grades, know about Sandhurst, and so on. Boating is an important topic. You see? Oh, I shall make a great thing of this. I shall teach my wife carefully, and then let her advertise lessons to girls; they’ll prefer coming to a woman, you know.’

‘The day before yesterday, she went to Birmingham to see her dad and fill him in on everything that happened. I agreed with her that it was a good idea; the old man isn’t in bad shape financially, and he might forgive her for running away, even though it seems he’s under his wife’s control. I got a note yesterday. She had gone to a friend’s place for the first day. I hoped to hear from her again this morning—definitely by tomorrow, at the latest. As you can imagine, I’m living in a state of wild excitement. Of course, if her dad comes through with a wedding present, that’s a bonus. But I’m not worried; we’ll find a way to make a living. What do you think I’m working on right now? An author’s guide. You know the type; they sell really well. Of course, I’ll make it a great advertisement for my business. Then I had a brilliant idea. I’m going to promote: “Learn to write a novel in ten lessons!” What do you think of that? No scam; not at all. I’m perfectly capable of giving the average person ten really useful lessons. I’ve been mapping out the plan; it would entertain you, Reardon. The first lesson focuses on topics, local color—that kind of stuff. I seriously advise people, if they can, to write about the wealthy middle class; that’s the hot topic, you know. Nobles and aristocrats are nice, but the real deal is stories about people without titles who live in respectable middle-class style. I recommend studying horse-related topics especially; that’s crucial. You also need to be knowledgeable about military ranks, know about Sandhurst, and so on. Boating is an important subject too. You see? Oh, I’m going to make a big deal out of this. I’ll carefully teach my wife, and then let her offer lessons to girls; they’ll prefer going to a woman, you know.’

Biffen leant back and laughed noisily.

Biffen leaned back and laughed loudly.

‘How much shall you charge for the course?’ asked Reardon.

‘How much are you going to charge for the course?’ asked Reardon.

‘That’ll depend. I shan’t refuse a guinea or two; but some people may be made to pay five, perhaps.’

‘That'll depend. I won't turn down a guinea or two; but some people might be asked to pay five, maybe.’

Someone knocked at the door, and a voice said:

Someone knocked on the door, and a voice said:

‘A letter for you, Mr Whelpdale.’

‘A letter for you, Mr. Whelpdale.’

He started up, and came back into the room with face illuminated.

He jumped up and returned to the room with a glowing expression.

‘Yes, it’s from Birmingham; posted this morning. Look what an exquisite hand she writes!’

‘Yes, it's from Birmingham; it was sent this morning. Look at how beautifully she writes!’

He tore open the envelope. In delicacy Reardon and Biffen averted their eyes. There was silence for a minute, then a strange ejaculation from Whelpdale caused his friends to look up at him. He had gone pale, and was frowning at the sheet of paper which trembled in his hand.

He ripped open the envelope. Reardon and Biffen turned away, trying to be polite. There was silence for a minute, then a surprising shout from Whelpdale made his friends look up at him. He had gone pale and was frowning at the piece of paper that shook in his hand.

‘No bad news, I hope?’ Biffen ventured to say.

‘I hope there’s no bad news?’ Biffen dared to ask.

Whelpdale let himself sink into a chair.

Whelpdale plopped himself down into a chair.

‘Now if this isn’t too bad!’ he exclaimed in a thick voice. ‘If this isn’t monstrously unkind! I never heard anything so gross as this—never!’

‘Well, if this isn't too much!’ he exclaimed in a hoarse voice. ‘If this isn’t incredibly unkind! I’ve never heard anything so outrageous as this—never!’

The two waited, trying not to smile.

The two waited, doing their best not to smile.

‘She writes—that she has met an old lover—in Birmingham—that it was with him she had quarrelled-not with her father at all—that she ran away to annoy him and frighten him—that she has made it up again, and they’re going to be married!’

‘She writes that she has run into an old boyfriend in Birmingham, that it was with him she had a fight—not with her father at all—that she left to bother him and scare him, that they’ve made up again, and they’re going to get married!’

He let the sheet fall, and looked so utterly woebegone that his friends at once exerted themselves to offer such consolation as the case admitted of. Reardon thought better of Whelpdale for this emotion; he had not believed him capable of it.

He dropped the sheet and looked so completely dejected that his friends immediately tried to comfort him as best as they could. Reardon had a higher opinion of Whelpdale because of this emotion; he hadn't thought he was capable of it.

‘It isn’t a case of vulgar cheating!’ cried the forsaken one presently. ‘Don’t go away thinking that. She writes in real distress and penitence—she does indeed. Oh, the devil! Why did I let her go to Birmingham? A fortnight more, and I should have had her safe. But it’s just like my luck. Do you know that this is the third time I’ve been engaged to be married?—no, by Jove, the fourth! And every time the girl has got out of it at the last moment. What an unlucky beast I am! A girl who was positively my ideal! I haven’t even a photograph of her to show you; but you’d be astonished at her face. Why, in the devil’s name, did I let her go to Birmingham?’

“It’s not just a case of shameless cheating!” cried the abandoned one suddenly. “Don’t walk away thinking that. She’s writing out of genuine distress and remorse—she really is. Oh, damn! Why did I let her go to Birmingham? Just two more weeks, and I would have had her for sure. But that’s just my luck. Do you know this is the third time I’ve been engaged to marry?—no, actually, it’s the fourth! And every time, the girl has backed out at the last minute. What an unlucky guy I am! A girl who was truly my ideal! I don’t even have a photograph of her to show you; but you’d be amazed at her face. Why on earth did I let her go to Birmingham?”

The visitors had risen. They felt uncomfortable, for it seemed as if Whelpdale might find vent for his distress in tears.

The visitors had stood up. They felt uneasy, as it seemed like Whelpdale might express his distress through tears.

‘We had better leave you,’ suggested Biffen. ‘It’s very hard—it is indeed.’

‘We should probably leave you,’ suggested Biffen. ‘It’s really tough—it really is.’

‘Look here! Read the letter for yourselves! Do!’

‘Look here! Read the letter for yourselves! Go ahead!’

They declined, and begged him not to insist.

They refused and asked him not to push.

‘But I want you to see what kind of girl she is. It isn’t a case of farcical deceiving—not a bit of it! She implores me to forgive her, and blames herself no end. Just my luck! The third—no, the fourth time, by Jove! Never was such an unlucky fellow with women. It’s because I’m so damnably poor; that’s it, of course!’

‘But I want you to understand what kind of girl she is. It’s not some ridiculous disguise—not at all! She begs me to forgive her and totally blames herself. Just my luck! The third—no, the fourth time, I swear! I’ve never been so unlucky with women. It’s because I’m just so damn poor; that’s the problem, of course!’

Reardon and his companion succeeded at length in getting away, though not till they had heard the virtues and beauty of the vanished girl described again and again in much detail. Both were in a state of depression as they left the house.

Reardon and his companion finally managed to leave, but not before they heard the virtues and beauty of the disappeared girl described repeatedly in great detail. Both of them felt depressed as they walked away from the house.

‘What think you of this story?’ asked Biffen. ‘Is this possible in a woman of any merit?’

‘What do you think of this story?’ asked Biffen. ‘Is this possible for a woman of any worth?’

‘Anything is possible in a woman,’ Reardon replied, harshly.

“Anything is possible in a woman,” Reardon replied sharply.

They walked in silence as far as Portland Road Station. There, with an assurance that he would come to a garret-supper before leaving London, Reardon parted from his friend and turned westward.

They walked in silence all the way to Portland Road Station. There, with the confidence that he would have a late-night meal in a small room before leaving London, Reardon said goodbye to his friend and headed west.

As soon as he had entered, Amy’s voice called to him:

As soon as he walked in, Amy’s voice called out to him:

‘Here’s a letter from Jedwood, Edwin!’

‘Here’s a letter from Jedwood, Edwin!’

He stepped into the study.

He walked into the study.

‘It came just after you went out, and it has been all I could do to resist the temptation to open it.’

‘It arrived right after you left, and I've barely managed to resist the urge to open it.’

‘Why shouldn’t you have opened it?’ said her husband, carelessly.

“Why didn’t you open it?” her husband asked casually.

He tried to do so himself, but his shaking hand thwarted him at first. Succeeding at length, he found a letter in the publisher’s own writing, and the first word that caught his attention was ‘regret.’ With an angry effort to command himself he ran through the communication, then held it out to Amy.

He tried to do it himself, but his shaking hand made it difficult at first. Finally succeeding, he found a letter in the publisher’s own handwriting, and the first word that grabbed his attention was ‘regret.’ With an angry effort to steady himself, he quickly read through the message, then handed it to Amy.

She read, and her countenance fell. Mr Jedwood regretted that the story offered to him did not seem likely to please that particular public to whom his series of one-volume novels made appeal. He hoped it would be understood that, in declining, he by no means expressed an adverse judgment on the story itself &c.

She read, and her expression changed. Mr. Jedwood regretted that the story he was presented with didn’t seem likely to please the specific audience his series of one-volume novels appealed to. He hoped it would be clear that, by declining, he wasn’t implying any negative opinion about the story itself, etc.

‘It doesn’t surprise me,’ said Reardon. ‘I believe he is quite right. The thing is too empty to please the better kind of readers, yet not vulgar enough to please the worse.’

“It doesn’t surprise me,” Reardon said. “I think he’s absolutely right. It’s too shallow to satisfy the more discerning readers, yet not crude enough to appeal to the less sophisticated ones.”

‘But you’ll try someone else?’

'But will you try someone else?'

‘I don’t think it’s much use.’

‘I don’t think it’s very helpful.’

They sat opposite each other, and kept silence. Jedwood’s letter slipped from Amy’s lap to the ground.

They sat across from each other, keeping silent. Jedwood’s letter dropped from Amy’s lap to the ground.

‘So,’ said Reardon, presently, ‘I don’t see how our plan is to be carried out.’

‘So,’ Reardon said after a moment, ‘I don’t see how we’re going to carry out our plan.’

‘Oh, it must be!’

"Oh, it has to be!"

‘But how?’

'But how?'

‘You’ll get seven or eight pounds from The Wayside. And—hadn’t we better sell the furniture, instead of—’

'You’ll get seven or eight pounds from The Wayside. And—shouldn’t we sell the furniture instead of—'

His look checked her.

His gaze checked her.

‘It seems to me, Amy, that your one desire is to get away from me, on whatever terms.’

‘It seems to me, Amy, that your only wish is to escape from me, no matter the circumstances.’

‘Don’t begin that over again!’ she exclaimed, fretfully. ‘If you don’t believe what I say—’

‘Don’t start that all over again!’ she shouted, annoyed. ‘If you don’t believe what I’m saying—’

They were both in a state of intolerable nervous tension. Their voices quivered, and their eyes had an unnatural brightness.

They were both incredibly tense. Their voices trembled, and their eyes had an unnatural shine.

‘If we sell the furniture,’ pursued Reardon, ‘that means you’ll never come back to me. You wish to save yourself and the child from the hard life that seems to be before us.’

‘If we sell the furniture,’ continued Reardon, ‘that means you’ll never come back to me. You want to save yourself and the child from the tough life that seems to lie ahead of us.’

‘Yes, I do; but not by deserting you. I want you to go and work for us all, so that we may live more happily before long. Oh, how wretched this is!’

‘Yes, I do; but not by abandoning you. I want you to go and work for all of us, so that we can live more happily soon. Oh, how miserable this is!’

She burst into hysterical weeping. But Reardon, instead of attempting to soothe her, went into the next room, where he sat for a long time in the dark. When he returned Amy was calm again; her face expressed a cold misery.

She started crying uncontrollably. But Reardon, instead of trying to comfort her, went into the next room, where he sat for a long time in the dark. When he came back, Amy was calm again; her face showed a cold sadness.

‘Where did you go this morning?’ he asked, as if wishing to talk of common things.

“Where did you go this morning?” he asked, as if he wanted to talk about everyday stuff.

‘I told you. I went to buy those things for Willie.’

‘I told you. I went to get those things for Willie.’

‘Oh yes.’

"Definitely."

There was a silence.

It was silent.

‘Biffen passed you in Tottenham Court Road,’ he added.

'Biffen walked past you on Tottenham Court Road,' he added.

‘I didn’t see him.’

"I didn't see him."

‘No; he said you didn’t.’

‘No; he said you didn’t.’

‘Perhaps,’ said Amy, ‘it was just when I was speaking to Mr Milvain.’

‘Maybe,’ said Amy, ‘it was just when I was talking to Mr. Milvain.’

‘You met Milvain?’

“Did you meet Milvain?”

‘Yes.’

"Yes."

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

“Why didn’t you say that?”

‘I’m sure I don’t know. I can’t mention every trifle that happens.’

‘I honestly don’t know. I can’t bring up every little thing that happens.’

‘No, of course not.’

“No, definitely not.”

Amy closed her eyes, as if in weariness, and for a minute or two Reardon observed her countenance.

Amy closed her eyes, as if she were tired, and for a minute or two, Reardon watched her face.

‘So you think we had better sell the furniture.’

‘So you think it’s best to sell the furniture.’

‘I shall say nothing more about it. You must do as seems best to you, Edwin.’

‘I won't say anything more about it. You should do what you think is best, Edwin.’

‘Are you going to see your mother to-morrow?’

‘Are you going to see your mom tomorrow?’

‘Yes. I thought you would like to come too.’

‘Yes. I thought you’d want to come too.’

‘No; there’s no good in my going.’

‘No; there’s no point in my going.’

He again rose, and that night they talked no more of their difficulties, though on the morrow (Sunday) it would be necessary to decide their course in every detail.

He got up again, and that night they didn't talk anymore about their problems, even though the next day (Sunday) they would need to make decisions about everything in detail.





CHAPTER XVII. THE PARTING

Amy did not go to church. Before her marriage she had done so as a mere matter of course, accompanying her mother, but Reardon’s attitude with regard to the popular religion speedily became her own; she let the subject lapse from her mind, and cared neither to defend nor to attack where dogma was concerned. She had no sympathies with mysticism; her nature was strongly practical, with something of zeal for intellectual attainment superadded.

Amy didn't go to church. Before she got married, she went as a matter of routine, tagging along with her mother, but Reardon's views on mainstream religion quickly became her own; she pushed the topic out of her mind and didn’t feel like defending or criticizing any beliefs. She wasn’t drawn to mysticism; her character was very practical, with a bit of passion for gaining knowledge on top of that.

This Sunday morning she was very busy with domestic minutiae. Reardon noticed what looked like preparations for packing, and being as little disposed for conversation as his wife, he went out and walked for a couple of hours in the Hampstead region. Dinner over, Amy at once made ready for her journey to Westbourne Park.

This Sunday morning, she was really busy with everyday tasks at home. Reardon noticed what seemed like she was getting things ready to pack, and since he wasn’t really in the mood to talk either, he went out and walked for a couple of hours around Hampstead. After dinner, Amy immediately started preparing for her trip to Westbourne Park.

‘Then you won’t come?’ she said to her husband.

‘So you’re not coming?’ she said to her husband.

‘No. I shall see your mother before I go away, but I don’t care to till you have settled everything.’

‘No. I will see your mom before I leave, but I don’t want to until you’ve sorted everything out.’

It was half a year since he had met Mrs Yule. She never came to their dwelling, and Reardon could not bring himself to visit her.

It had been six months since he met Mrs. Yule. She never came to their house, and Reardon just couldn't bring himself to go see her.

‘You had very much rather we didn’t sell the furniture?’ Amy asked.

‘You’d really prefer we didn’t sell the furniture?’ Amy asked.

‘Ask your mother’s opinion. That shall decide.’

‘Ask your mom what she thinks. That will settle it.’

‘There’ll be the expense of moving it, you know. Unless money comes from The Wayside, you’ll only have two or three pounds left.’

‘It’ll cost money to move it, you know. Unless funds come from The Wayside, you’ll only have two or three pounds left.’

Reardon made no reply. He was overcome by the bitterness of shame.

Reardon didn't say anything. He was overwhelmed by the bitterness of shame.

‘I shall say, then,’ pursued Amy, who spoke with averted face, ‘that I am to go there for good on Tuesday? I mean, of course, for the summer months.’

‘I guess I should say,’ continued Amy, who was looking away, ‘that I'm going to be going there for good on Tuesday? I mean, of course, for the summer.’

‘I suppose so.’

"I guess so."

Then he turned suddenly upon her.

Then he suddenly turned to her.

‘Do you really imagine that at the end of the summer I shall be a rich man? What do you mean by talking in this way? If the furniture is sold to supply me with a few pounds for the present, what prospect is there that I shall be able to buy new?’

‘Do you really think that by the end of the summer I’ll be a rich man? Why are you talking like that? If the furniture is sold to give me a little cash for now, what chance do I have of being able to buy new stuff?’

‘How can we look forward at all?’ replied Amy. ‘It has come to the question of how we are to subsist. I thought you would rather get money in this way than borrow of mother—when she has the expense of keeping me and Willie.’

‘How can we even think about the future?’ Amy replied. ‘We’re at the point where we have to figure out how we’re going to survive. I thought you’d prefer to make money like this instead of asking Mom for it—especially since she has to cover the costs of looking after me and Willie.’

‘You are right,’ muttered Reardon. ‘Do as you think best.’ Amy was in her most practical mood, and would not linger for purposeless talk. A few minutes, and Reardon was left alone.

'You’re right,' Reardon murmured. 'Do what you think is best.' Amy was in a practical mood and didn’t want to stick around for pointless conversation. A few minutes later, Reardon was left alone.

He stood before his bookshelves and began to pick out the volumes which he would take away with him. Just a few, the indispensable companions of a bookish man who still clings to life—his Homer, his Shakespeare—

He stood in front of his bookshelves and started selecting the books he would take with him. Just a few, the essential companions of a literary man who still holds on to life—his Homer, his Shakespeare—

The rest must be sold. He would get rid of them to-morrow morning. All together they might bring him a couple of sovereigns.

The rest has to be sold. He would get rid of them tomorrow morning. Altogether, they might bring him a couple of pounds.

Then his clothing. Amy had fulfilled all the domestic duties of a wife; his wardrobe was in as good a state as circumstances allowed. But there was no object in burdening himself with winter garments, for, if he lived through the summer at all, he would be able to repurchase such few poor things as were needful; at present he could only think of how to get together a few coins. So he made a heap of such things as might be sold.

Then there was his clothing. Amy had taken care of all the household chores a wife would typically handle; his wardrobe was as good as it could be given the circumstances. But there was no point in weighing himself down with winter clothes, because if he survived the summer, he could repurchase some basic necessities. Right now, he could only focus on how to gather a few coins. So he piled up things that could be sold.

The furniture? If it must go, the price could scarcely be more than ten or twelve pounds; well, perhaps fifteen. To be sure, in this way his summer’s living would be abundantly provided for.

The furniture? If it has to go, the price could hardly be more than ten or twelve pounds; well, maybe fifteen. This way, his summer living would definitely be well covered.

He thought of Biffen enviously. Biffen, if need be, could support life on three or four shillings a week, happy in the thought that no mortal had a claim upon him. If he starved to death—well, many another lonely man has come to that end. If he preferred to kill himself, who would be distressed? Spoilt child of fortune!

He envied Biffen. Biffen could survive on just three or four shillings a week if he had to, content in the knowledge that no one had any claim on him. If he starved to death—well, many other lonely men have ended up that way. If he chose to take his own life, who would care? Spoiled child of fortune!

The bells of St Marylebone began to clang for afternoon service. In the idleness of dull pain his thoughts followed their summons, and he marvelled that there were people who could imagine it a duty or find it a solace to go and sit in that twilight church and listen to the droning of prayers. He thought of the wretched millions of mankind to whom life is so barren that they must needs believe in a recompense beyond the grave. For that he neither looked nor longed. The bitterness of his lot was that this world might be a sufficing paradise to him if only he could clutch a poor little share of current coin. He had won the world’s greatest prize—a woman’s love—but could not retain it because his pockets were empty.

The bells of St Marylebone started ringing for the afternoon service. Lost in his dull pain, his thoughts followed their call, and he couldn't help but wonder how some people could see it as a duty or find comfort in sitting in that dim church and listening to the drone of prayers. He thought about the countless miserable people who find life so empty that they feel they must believe in a reward after death. But he neither hoped for nor desired that. The bitterness of his situation was that this world could be a perfect paradise for him if only he could grab a small piece of actual money. He had won the greatest prize in the world—a woman’s love—but couldn't hold onto it because he was broke.

That he should fail to make a great name, this was grievous disappointment to Amy, but this alone would not have estranged her. It was the dread and shame of penury that made her heart cold to him. And he could not in his conscience scorn her for being thus affected by the vulgar circumstances of life; only a few supreme natures stand unshaken under such a trial, and though his love of Amy was still passionate, he knew that her place was among a certain class of women, and not on the isolated pinnacle where he had at first visioned her. It was entirely natural that she shrank at the test of squalid suffering. A little money, and he could have rested secure in her love, for then he would have been able to keep ever before her the best qualities of his heart and brain. Upon him, too, penury had its debasing effect; as he now presented himself he was not a man to be admired or loved. It was all simple and intelligible enough—a situation that would be misread only by shallow idealism.

That he didn’t become famous was a huge disappointment for Amy, but that alone wouldn’t have driven her away. It was the fear and shame of being broke that made her heart cold towards him. He couldn't blame her for feeling this way about the harsh realities of life; only a few extraordinary people remain unshaken under such pressure, and although he still loved Amy deeply, he realized she belonged to a different category of women and not on the lonely peak where he first imagined her. It made sense that she recoiled in the face of such hardship. With a little money, he could have been sure of her love, because then he could always show her the best parts of himself. Poverty affected him too; at that moment, he wasn’t someone to be admired or loved. It was all pretty straightforward—a situation that would be misunderstood only by naive idealism.

Worst of all, she was attracted by Jasper Milvain’s energy and promise of success. He had no ignoble suspicions of Amy, but it was impossible for him not to see that she habitually contrasted the young journalist, who laughingly made his way among men, with her grave, dispirited husband, who was not even capable of holding such position as he had gained. She enjoyed Milvain’s conversation, it put her into a good humour; she liked him personally, and there could be no doubt that she had observed a jealous tendency in Reardon’s attitude to his former friend—always a harmful suggestion to a woman. Formerly she had appreciated her husband’s superiority; she had smiled at Milvain’s commoner stamp of mind and character. But tedious repetition of failure had outwearied her, and now she saw Milvain in the sunshine of progress, dwelt upon the worldly advantages of gifts and a temperament such as his. Again, simple and intelligible enough.

Worst of all, she was drawn to Jasper Milvain’s energy and promise of success. He didn’t have any negative thoughts about Amy, but he couldn’t help but notice that she often compared the young journalist, who cheerfully mingled with others, to her serious, disheartened husband, who struggled to maintain even the position he had. She enjoyed Milvain’s conversation; it lifted her spirits. She liked him personally, and it was clear she had noticed a jealous streak in Reardon’s attitude toward his former friend—something that’s always a bad sign for a woman. She once appreciated her husband’s superiority; she had looked down on Milvain’s more ordinary way of thinking and character. But the constant cycle of failure had worn her down, and now she saw Milvain in the bright light of progress, focusing on the benefits of his talents and personality. Again, it was simple and clear enough.

Living apart from her husband, she could not be expected to forswear society, and doubtless she would see Milvain pretty often. He called occasionally at Mrs Yule’s, and would not do so less often when he knew that Amy was to be met there. There would be chance encounters like that of yesterday, of which she had chosen to keep silence.

Living away from her husband, she couldn't be expected to avoid socializing, and she would definitely see Milvain quite often. He would drop by Mrs. Yule's from time to time, and he would visit even more frequently knowing that Amy would be there. There would be random meetings like the one yesterday, which she had decided to keep to herself.

A dark fear began to shadow him. In yielding thus passively to stress of circumstances, was he not exposing his wife to a danger which outweighed all the ills of poverty? As one to whom she was inestimably dear, was he right in allowing her to leave him, if only for a few months? He knew very well that a man of strong character would never have entertained this project. He had got into the way of thinking of himself as too weak to struggle against the obstacles on which Amy insisted, and of looking for safety in retreat; but what was to be the end of this weakness if the summer did not at all advance him? He knew better than Amy could how unlikely it was that he should recover the energies of his mind in so short a time and under such circumstances; only the feeble man’s temptation to postpone effort had made him consent to this step, and now that he was all but beyond turning back, the perils of which he had thought too little forced themselves upon his mind.

A dark fear started to loom over him. By passively giving in to the pressure of his situation, was he not putting his wife in a danger that far outweighed the hardships of poverty? As someone who meant the world to him, was it right for him to let her leave him, even for a few months? He knew very well that a strong man would never have considered this idea. He had gotten into the habit of thinking of himself as too weak to fight against the challenges Amy insisted on, looking for safety in avoidance; but what would this weakness lead to if summer didn’t help him move forward at all? He understood better than Amy how unlikely it was for him to regain his mental strength in such a short time and under these conditions; only a weak man's temptation to delay action had made him agree to this decision, and now that he was nearly beyond the point of no return, the dangers he had overlooked pressed heavily on his mind.

He rose in anguish, and stood looking about him as if aid might somewhere be visible.

He stood up in distress, scanning his surroundings as if help might be somewhere in sight.

Presently there was a knock at the front door, and on opening he beheld the vivacious Mr Carter. This gentleman had only made two or three calls here since Reardon’s marriage; his appearance was a surprise.

Right now, there was a knock at the front door, and when he opened it, he saw the lively Mr. Carter. This guy had only stopped by two or three times since Reardon got married; his visit was a surprise.

‘I hear you are leaving town for a time,’ he exclaimed. ‘Edith told me yesterday, so I thought I’d look you up.’

"I heard you’re leaving town for a while," he said. "Edith mentioned it to me yesterday, so I thought I’d come find you."

He was in spring costume, and exhaled fresh odours. The contrast between his prosperous animation and Reardon’s broken-spirited quietness could not have been more striking.

He was dressed for spring and smelled fresh. The difference between his vibrant energy and Reardon's defeated silence couldn't have been more pronounced.

‘Going away for your health, they tell me. You’ve been working too hard, you know. You mustn’t overdo it. And where do you think of going to?’

‘Going away for your health, they tell me. You’ve been working too hard, you know. You mustn’t overdo it. And where do you plan to go?’

‘It isn’t at all certain that I shall go,’ Reardon replied. ‘I thought of a few weeks—somewhere at the seaside.’

‘It’s not at all certain that I’ll go,’ Reardon replied. ‘I was thinking about spending a few weeks—somewhere at the beach.’

‘I advise you to go north,’ went on Carter cheerily. ‘You want a tonic, you know. Get up into Scotland and do some boating and fishing—that kind of thing. You’d come back a new man. Edith and I had a turn up there last year, you know; it did me heaps of good.’

‘I suggest you head north,’ Carter continued cheerfully. ‘You could use a boost, you know. Get up to Scotland and go boating and fishing—that sort of thing. You’d come back feeling like a new person. Edith and I went up there last year, you know; it helped me a lot.’

‘Oh, I don’t think I should go so far as that.’

‘Oh, I don’t think I should go that far.’

‘But that’s just what you want—a regular change, something bracing. You don’t look at all well, that’s the fact. A winter in London tries any man—it does me, I know. I’ve been seedy myself these last few weeks. Edith wants me to take her over to Paris at the end of this month, and I think it isn’t a bad idea; but I’m so confoundedly busy. In the autumn we shall go to Norway, I think; it seems to be the right thing to do nowadays. Why shouldn’t you have a run over to Norway? They say it can be done very cheaply; the steamers take you for next to nothing.’

‘But that’s exactly what you need—a regular change, something refreshing. You really don’t look well, that’s the truth. A winter in London wears anyone down—it certainly does for me. I’ve been feeling under the weather myself these past few weeks. Edith wants me to take her to Paris at the end of this month, and I think it’s a good idea; but I’m so unbelievably busy. In the fall, we’re planning to go to Norway, I think; it seems to be the thing to do these days. Why not take a little trip to Norway? They say it can be done really cheaply; the ferries are practically giving rides away.’

He talked on with the joyous satisfaction of a man whose income is assured, and whose future teems with a succession of lively holidays. Reardon could make no answer to such suggestions; he sat with a fixed smile on his face.

He continued talking with the cheerful satisfaction of a man whose income is guaranteed and whose future is filled with a series of exciting vacations. Reardon couldn't respond to such comments; he sat there with a stiff smile on his face.

‘Have you heard,’ said Carter, presently, ‘that we’re opening a branch of the hospital in the City Road?’

‘Have you heard,’ said Carter, just now, ‘that we're opening a branch of the hospital on City Road?’

‘No; I hadn’t heard of it.’

‘No; I hadn’t heard of that.’

‘It’ll only be for out-patients. Open three mornings and three evenings alternately.’

‘It’ll just be for outpatients. Open three mornings and three evenings on alternate days.’

‘Who’ll represent you there?’

"Who’s representing you there?"

‘I shall look in now and then, of course; there’ll be a clerk, like at the old place.’

‘I’ll drop by now and then, of course; there’ll be a clerk, just like at the old place.’

He talked of the matter in detail—of the doctors who would attend, and of certain new arrangements to be tried.

He discussed the issue in detail—talking about the doctors who would be there and some new plans that would be tested.

‘Have you engaged the clerk?’ Reardon asked.

‘Have you talked to the clerk yet?’ Reardon asked.

‘Not yet. I think I know a man who’ll suit me, though.’

‘Not yet. I think I know a guy who'll be right for me, though.’

‘You wouldn’t be disposed to give me the chance?’

‘You wouldn’t be willing to give me a chance?’

Reardon spoke huskily, and ended with a broken laugh.

Reardon spoke in a low voice and finished with a broken laugh.

‘You’re rather above my figure nowadays, old man!’ exclaimed Carter, joining in what he considered the jest.

‘You’re way out of my league these days, old man!’ exclaimed Carter, joining in what he thought was the joke.

‘Shall you pay a pound a week?’

‘Will you pay a pound a week?’

‘Twenty-five shillings. It’ll have to be a man who can be trusted to take money from the paying patients.’

‘Twenty-five shillings. It’ll need to be someone trustworthy to handle money from the paying patients.’

‘Well, I am serious. Will you give me the place?’

‘Well, I really mean it. Will you give me the spot?’

Carter gazed at him, and checked another laugh.

Carter looked at him and held back another laugh.

‘What the deuce do you mean?’

‘What on earth do you mean?’

‘The fact is,’ Reardon replied, ‘I want variety of occupation. I can’t stick at writing for more than a month or two at a time. It’s because I have tried to do so that—well, practically, I have broken down. If you will give me this clerkship, it will relieve me from the necessity of perpetually writing novels; I shall be better for it in every way. You know that I’m equal to the job; you can trust me; and I dare say I shall be more useful than most clerks you could get.’

‘The truth is,’ Reardon replied, ‘I need a variety of work. I can’t focus on writing for more than a month or two at a time. Because I’ve tried to push through, I’ve practically worn myself out. If you give me this clerkship, it will free me from the constant pressure of writing novels; I’ll be better off in every way. You know I’m capable of the job; you can count on me; and I’m sure I’ll be more helpful than most clerks you could hire.’

It was done, most happily done, on the first impulse. A minute more of pause, and he could not have faced the humiliation. His face burned, his tongue was parched.

It was done, most happily done, on the first instinct. Another minute of hesitation, and he wouldn't have been able to bear the embarrassment. His face flushed, and his mouth felt dry.

‘I’m floored!’ cried Carter. ‘I shouldn’t have thought—but of course, if you really want it. I can hardly believe yet that you’re serious, Reardon.’

‘I’m shocked!’ exclaimed Carter. ‘I shouldn't have thought—but of course, if you really want it. I can barely believe that you’re serious, Reardon.’

‘Why not? Will you promise me the work?’

‘Why not? Will you promise me the job?’

‘Well, yes.’

“Yeah, for sure.”

‘When shall I have to begin?’

‘When will I have to start?’

‘The place’ll be opened to-morrow week. But how about your holiday?’

‘The place will be open next week. But what about your vacation?’

‘Oh, let that stand over. It’ll be holiday enough to occupy myself in a new way. An old way, too; I shall enjoy it.’

‘Oh, let that wait. It’ll be a break to keep myself busy in a new way. In an old way, too; I’ll enjoy it.’

He laughed merrily, relieved beyond measure at having come to what seemed an end of his difficulties. For half an hour they continued to talk over the affair.

He laughed joyfully, incredibly relieved to have reached what felt like the end of his troubles. For half an hour, they kept discussing the situation.

‘Well, it’s a comical idea,’ said Carter, as he took his leave, ‘but you know your own business best.’

‘Well, it’s a funny idea,’ said Carter as he was leaving, ‘but you know your own business best.’

When Amy returned, Reardon allowed her to put the child to bed before he sought any conversation. She came at length and sat down in the study.

When Amy came back, Reardon let her put the child to bed before he started any conversation. She eventually came and sat down in the study.

‘Mother advises us not to sell the furniture,’ were her first words.

‘Mom advises us not to sell the furniture,’ were her first words.

‘I’m glad of that, as I had quite made up my mind not to.’ There was a change in his way of speaking which she at once noticed.

‘I’m glad to hear that, because I had completely decided not to.’ There was a change in his tone that she immediately noticed.

‘Have you thought of something?’

"Have you thought of anything?"

‘Yes. Carter has been here, and he happened to mention that they’re opening an out-patient department of the hospital, in the City Road. He’ll want someone to help him there. I asked for the post, and he promised it me.’

‘Yes. Carter has been here, and he mentioned that they’re opening an outpatient department at the hospital on City Road. He’ll need someone to help him there. I asked for the job, and he promised it to me.’

The last words were hurried, though he had resolved to speak with deliberation. No more feebleness; he had taken a decision, and would act upon it as became a responsible man.

The last words came out quickly, even though he had planned to speak carefully. No more weakness; he had made a choice and would follow through like a responsible person.

‘The post?’ said Amy. ‘What post?’

‘The mail?’ said Amy. ‘What mail?’

‘In plain English, the clerkship. It’ll be the same work as I used to have—registering patients, receiving their “letters,” and so on. The pay is to be five-and-twenty shillings a week.’

‘In simple terms, the clerk job. It’ll be the same work I used to do—registering patients, taking their “letters,” and so on. The pay will be twenty-five shillings a week.’

Amy sat upright and looked steadily at him.

Amy sat up straight and looked at him intently.

‘Is this a joke?’

"Is this a prank?"

‘Far from it, dear. It’s a blessed deliverance.’

‘Not at all, dear. It’s a wonderful release.’

‘You have asked Mr Carter to take you back as a clerk?’

‘You asked Mr. Carter to take you back as a clerk?’

‘I have.’

"I have."

‘And you propose that we shall live on twenty-five shillings a week?’

‘And you suggest that we should live on twenty-five shillings a week?’

‘Oh no! I shall be engaged only three mornings in the week and three evenings. In my free time I shall do literary work, and no doubt I can earn fifty pounds a year by it—if I have your sympathy to help me. To-morrow I shall go and look for rooms some distance from here; in Islington, I think. We have been living far beyond our means; that must come to an end. We’ll have no more keeping up of sham appearances. If I can make my way in literature, well and good; in that case our position and prospects will of course change. But for the present we are poor people, and must live in a poor way. If our friends like to come and see us, they must put aside all snobbishness, and take us as we are. If they prefer not to come, there’ll be an excuse in our remoteness.’

‘Oh no! I’ll only be busy three mornings a week and three evenings. In my free time, I plan to do some writing, and I’m sure I can earn around fifty pounds a year from it—if I have your support. Tomorrow, I’ll go look for a place to live a bit further away; I think Islington would be good. We’ve been living way beyond our means; that needs to change. No more pretending to be something we’re not. If I can succeed in writing, great; that would definitely change our situation and future. But for now, we’re struggling, and we have to live simply. If our friends want to visit us, they’ll have to drop any pretensions and accept us as we are. If they don’t want to come, well, at least we’ll have the excuse of being out of the way.’

Amy was stroking the back of her hand. After a long silence, she said in a very quiet, but very resolute tone:

Amy was gently rubbing the back of her hand. After a prolonged silence, she spoke in a soft but determined voice:

‘I shall not consent to this.’

‘I will not agree to this.’

‘In that case, Amy, I must do without your consent. The rooms will be taken, and our furniture transferred to them.’

‘In that case, Amy, I have to go ahead without your approval. The rooms will be taken, and our furniture moved over to them.’

‘To me that will make no difference,’ returned his wife, in the same voice as before. ‘I have decided—as you told me to—to go with Willie to mother’s next Tuesday. You, of course, must do as you please. I should have thought a summer at the seaside would have been more helpful to you; but if you prefer to live in Islington—’

‘That doesn’t matter to me,’ his wife replied, using the same tone as before. ‘I’ve decided—just like you suggested—to go with Willie to my mom’s next Tuesday. You can do whatever you want. I would have thought a summer at the beach would be better for you, but if you’d rather stay in Islington—’

Reardon approached her, and laid a hand on her shoulder.

Reardon came up to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

‘Amy, are you my wife, or not?’

‘Amy, are you my wife or not?’

‘I am certainly not the wife of a clerk who is paid so much a week.’

‘I am definitely not the wife of a clerk who earns that much per week.’

He had foreseen a struggle, but without certainty of the form Amy’s opposition would take. For himself he meant to be gently resolute, calmly regardless of protest. But in a man to whom such self-assertion is a matter of conscious effort, tremor of the nerves will always interfere with the line of conduct he has conceived in advance. Already Reardon had spoken with far more bluntness than he proposed; involuntarily, his voice slipped from earnest determination to the note of absolutism, and, as is wont to be the case, the sound of these strange tones instigated him to further utterances of the same kind. He lost control of himself. Amy’s last reply went through him like an electric shock, and for the moment he was a mere husband defied by his wife, the male stung to exertion of his brute force against the physically weaker sex.

He had anticipated a struggle, but he wasn't sure how Amy would oppose him. He planned to be gently firm, calmly ignoring any protests. But for someone like him, who had to consciously push for self-assertion, nervousness would always disrupt the approach he had mentally prepared. Already, Reardon had spoken much more bluntly than he intended; without meaning to, his voice shifted from earnest determination to a tone of absolute authority, and, as often happens, the sound of those unexpected tones pushed him to say more of the same. He lost control. Amy’s last response hit him like an electric shock, and for a moment, he felt like just a husband challenged by his wife, like a man stung into using his brute strength against the physically weaker sex.

‘However you regard me, you will do what I think fit. I shall not argue with you. If I choose to take lodgings in Whitechapel, there you will come and live.’

‘No matter how you see me, you’ll do what I think is right. I won’t argue with you. If I decide to rent a place in Whitechapel, that’s where you’ll come and live.’

He met Amy’s full look, and was conscious of that in it which corresponded to his own brutality. She had become suddenly a much older woman; her cheeks were tight drawn into thinness, her lips were bloodlessly hard, there was an unknown furrow along her forehead, and she glared like the animal that defends itself with tooth and claw.

He met Amy’s intense gaze and felt a connection to his own harshness in it. She had suddenly become a much older woman; her cheeks were tightly drawn and thin, her lips were pale and stiff, there was an unfamiliar line across her forehead, and she glared like an animal defending itself with teeth and claws.

‘Do as YOU think fit? Indeed!’

‘Do whatever YOU think is right? Seriously!’

Could Amy’s voice sound like that? Great Heaven! With just such accent he had heard a wrangling woman retort upon her husband at the street corner. Is there then no essential difference between a woman of this world and one of that? Does the same nature lie beneath such unlike surfaces?

Could Amy’s voice actually sound like that? Good gracious! He had heard a woman argue with her husband at the street corner using just that accent. Is there really no fundamental difference between a woman from this world and one from that? Is the same nature hidden beneath such different exteriors?

He had but to do one thing: to seize her by the arm, drag her up from the chair, dash her back again with all his force—there, the transformation would be complete, they would stand towards each other on the natural footing. With an added curse perhaps—Instead of that, he choked, struggled for breath, and shed tears.

He only had to do one thing: grab her arm, pull her up from the chair, push her back down with all his strength—then the change would be complete, and they would face each other on equal terms. Maybe even with an extra curse—Instead, he choked, gasped for air, and cried.

Amy turned scornfully away from him. Blows and a curse would have overawed her, at all events for the moment; she would have felt: ‘Yes, he is a man, and I have put my destiny into his hands.’ His tears moved her to a feeling cruelly exultant; they were the sign of her superiority. It was she who should have wept, and never in her life had she been further from such display of weakness.

Amy turned away from him in disdain. Physical blows and harsh words would have intimidated her, at least for the moment; she would have thought, ‘Yes, he’s a man, and I’ve put my fate in his hands.’ His tears stirred a feeling of cruel satisfaction in her; they were a sign of her dominance. It was she who should have been crying, and never in her life had she felt further from such a display of weakness.

This could not be the end, however, and she had no wish to terminate the scene. They stood for a minute without regarding each other, then Reardon faced to her.

This couldn't be the end, though, and she didn’t want to end the moment. They stood for a minute without looking at each other, then Reardon turned to face her.

‘You refuse to live with me, then?’

‘So, you’re saying you won’t live with me?’

‘Yes, if this is the kind of life you offer me.’

‘Yes, if this is the kind of life you’re offering me.’

‘You would be more ashamed to share your husband’s misfortunes than to declare to everyone that you had deserted him?’

‘You would feel more embarrassed to talk about your husband's troubles than to tell everyone that you left him?’

‘I shall “declare to everyone” the simple truth. You have the opportunity of making one more effort to save us from degradation. You refuse to take the trouble; you prefer to drag me down into a lower rank of life. I can’t and won’t consent to that. The disgrace is yours; it’s fortunate for me that I have a decent home to go to.’

‘I will “declare to everyone” the simple truth. You have the chance to make one more effort to save us from decline. You choose not to bother; you’d rather pull me down to a lower standard of living. I can’t and won’t agree to that. The shame is yours; I’m lucky to have a decent home to return to.’

‘Fortunate for you!—you make yourself unutterably contemptible. I have done nothing that justifies you in leaving me. It is for me to judge what I can do and what I can’t. A good woman would see no degradation in what I ask of you. But to run away from me just because I am poorer than you ever thought I should be—’

‘Fortunate for you!—you make yourself utterly despicable. I have done nothing to justify your leaving me. It's up to me to determine what I can do and what I can’t. A good woman wouldn’t see any shame in what I’m asking of you. But to walk away from me just because I’m poorer than you ever thought I would be—’

He was incoherent. A thousand passionate things that he wished to say clashed together in his mind and confused his speech. Defeated in the attempt to act like a strong man, he could not yet recover standing-ground, knew not how to tone his utterances.

He was mumbling. A thousand intense thoughts he wanted to express collided in his mind, making it hard for him to speak. Feeling defeated in his efforts to be strong, he couldn't regain his composure and didn't know how to adjust his words.

‘Yes, of course, that’s how you will put it,’ said Amy. ‘That’s how you will represent me to your friends. My friends will see it in a different light.’

‘Yes, of course, that’s how you’ll put it,’ said Amy. ‘That’s how you’ll explain me to your friends. My friends will see it in a different light.’

‘They will regard you as a martyr?’

'Do they think of you as a martyr?'

‘No one shall make a martyr of me, you may be sure. I was unfortunate enough to marry a man who had no delicacy, no regard for my feelings.—I am not the first woman who has made a mistake of this kind.’

‘No one is going to turn me into a martyr, just so you know. I was unfortunate enough to marry a man who had no sensitivity and didn’t care about my feelings. —I’m not the first woman to make this kind of mistake.’

‘No delicacy? No regard for your feelings?—Have I always utterly misunderstood you? Or has poverty changed you to a woman I can’t recognise?’

'No sensitivity? No consideration for your feelings?—Have I completely misunderstood you all this time? Or has hardship transformed you into someone I can't even recognize?'

He came nearer, and gazed desperately into her face. Not a muscle of it showed susceptibility to the old influences.

He stepped closer and looked desperately into her face. Not a muscle of it showed any hint of responding to the old influences.

‘Do you know, Amy,’ he added in a lower voice, ‘that if we part now, we part for ever?’

'Do you know, Amy,' he said in a softer voice, 'that if we separate now, we separate forever?'

‘I’m afraid that is only too likely.’

"I'm afraid that's pretty likely."

She moved aside.

She stepped aside.

‘You mean that you wish it. You are weary of me, and care for nothing but how to make yourself free.’

‘You mean that you want it. You're tired of me and only care about how to set yourself free.’

‘I shall argue no more. I am tired to death of it.’

'I won't argue anymore. I'm completely exhausted by it.'

‘Then say nothing, but listen for the last time to my view of the position we have come to. When I consented to leave you for a time, to go away and try to work in solitude, I was foolish and even insincere, both to you and to myself. I knew that I was undertaking the impossible. It was just putting off the evil day, that was all—putting off the time when I should have to say plainly: “I can’t live by literature, so I must look out for some other employment.” I shouldn’t have been so weak but that I knew how you would regard such a decision as that. I was afraid to tell the truth—afraid. Now, when Carter of a sudden put this opportunity before me, I saw all the absurdity of the arrangements we had made. It didn’t take me a moment to make up my mind. Anything was to be chosen rather than a parting from you on false pretences, a ridiculous affectation of hope where there was no hope.’

‘Then say nothing, but listen for the last time to my perspective on where we stand. When I agreed to leave you for a while, to go away and try to work in solitude, I was foolish and even dishonest, both to you and to myself. I knew I was taking on something impossible. I was just postponing the inevitable—that’s all—delaying the moment when I would have to say plainly: “I can’t make a living from literature, so I need to find some other job.” I shouldn’t have been so weak, but I knew how you would see such a decision. I was afraid to tell the truth—afraid. Now, when Carter suddenly presented this opportunity to me, I realized all the absurdity of the plans we had made. It didn’t take me a moment to decide. I would choose anything rather than parting from you under false pretenses, a ridiculous facade of hope where there was none.’

He paused, and saw that his words had no effect upon her.

He paused and realized that his words had no impact on her.

‘And a grievous share of the fault lies with you, Amy. You remember very well when I first saw how dark the future was. I was driven even to say that we ought to change our mode of living; I asked you if you would be willing to leave this place and go into cheaper rooms. And you know what your answer was. Not a sign in you that you would stand by me if the worst came. I knew then what I had to look forward to, but I durst not believe it. I kept saying to myself: “She loves me, and as soon as she really understands—” That was all self-deception. If I had been a wise man, I should have spoken to you in a way you couldn’t mistake. I should have told you that we were living recklessly, and that I had determined to alter it. I have no delicacy? No regard for your feelings? Oh, if I had had less! I doubt whether you can even understand some of the considerations that weighed with me, and made me cowardly—though I once thought there was no refinement of sensibility that you couldn’t enter into. Yes, I was absurd enough to say to myself: “It will look as if I had consciously deceived her; she may suffer from the thought that I won her at all hazards, knowing that I should soon expose her to poverty and all sorts of humiliation.” Impossible to speak of that again; I had to struggle desperately on, trying to hope. Oh! if you knew—’

‘And a huge part of the blame is on you, Amy. You remember when I first realized how bleak the future was. I even suggested that we should change our way of living; I asked you if you’d be willing to leave this place and move into cheaper rooms. And you know what you said. Not a hint that you would support me if things got tough. I knew then what I had to face, but I didn’t want to believe it. I kept telling myself: “She loves me, and as soon as she really understands—” That was pure self-deception. If I had been wiser, I would have talked to you in a way you couldn’t misunderstand. I should have told you that we were living recklessly, and that I was determined to change it. I have no sensitivity? No concern for your feelings? Oh, if I had just a little less! I doubt you can even grasp some of the reasons that held me back and made me cowardly—though I once believed there was no depth of feeling you couldn’t understand. Yes, I was foolish enough to think: “It will look like I’ve deceived her on purpose; she may suffer knowing that I won her despite the risk of exposing her to poverty and humiliation.” It’s impossible to talk about that again; I just had to keep pushing forward, trying to hold onto hope. Oh! if you only knew—’

His voice gave way for an instant.

His voice faltered for a moment.

‘I don’t understand how you could be so thoughtless and heartless. You knew that I was almost mad with anxiety at times. Surely, any woman must have had the impulse to give what help was in her power. How could you hesitate? Had you no suspicion of what a relief and encouragement it would be to me, if you said: “Yes, we must go and live in a simpler way?” If only as a proof that you loved me, how I should have welcomed that! You helped me in nothing. You threw all the responsibility upon me—always bearing in mind, I suppose, that there was a refuge for you. Even now, I despise myself for saying such things of you, though I know so bitterly that they are true. It takes a long time to see you as such a different woman from the one I worshipped. In passion, I can fling out violent words, but they don’t yet answer to my actual feeling. It will be long enough yet before I think contemptuously of you. You know that when a light is suddenly extinguished, the image of it still shows before your eyes. But at last comes the darkness.’

‘I don’t get how you could be so thoughtless and cruel. You knew I was practically losing my mind with worry at times. Any woman would have felt the urge to help in whatever way she could. How could you hesitate? Didn’t you realize what a relief and encouragement it would’ve been for me if you had said, “Yes, we need to live in a simpler way?” Even if it was just to prove you loved me, I would have welcomed that! You didn’t help me at all. You left all the responsibility to me—always keeping in mind, I suppose, that you had an escape. Even now, I hate myself for saying these things about you, even though I know they’re painfully true. It’s taking me a long time to see you as such a different woman from the one I adored. In the heat of the moment, I can lash out with harsh words, but they don’t truly reflect how I feel. It will be a while before I think of you with disdain. You know that when a light suddenly goes out, the image of it still lingers in your mind. But eventually, darkness takes over.’

Amy turned towards him once more.

Amy turned to him once more.

‘Instead of saying all this, you might be proving that I am wrong. Do so, and I will gladly confess it.’

‘Instead of saying all this, you could actually be showing that I'm wrong. If you do that, I’ll happily admit it.’

‘That you are wrong? I don’t see your meaning.’

‘That you are wrong? I don’t understand what you mean.’

‘You might prove that you are willing to do your utmost to save me from humiliation.’

'You might show that you are ready to do everything you can to save me from embarrassment.'

‘Amy, I have done my utmost. I have done more than you can imagine.’

‘Amy, I’ve done everything I can. I’ve done more than you can imagine.’

‘No. You have toiled on in illness and anxiety—I know that. But a chance is offered you now of working in a better way. Till that is tried, you have no right to give all up and try to drag me down with you.’

‘No. You’ve worked hard through illness and worry—I get that. But now you have an opportunity to do things differently. Until you give that a shot, you can’t just give up and pull me down with you.’

‘I don’t know how to answer. I have told you so often—You can’t understand me!’

‘I don’t know how to answer. I’ve told you so many times—you just can’t understand me!’

‘I can! I can!’ Her voice trembled for the first time. ‘I know that you are so ready to give in to difficulties. Listen to me, and do as I bid you.’ She spoke in the strangest tone of command.

‘I can! I can!’ Her voice shook for the first time. ‘I know that you’re so quick to give up when things get tough. Listen to me, and do what I say.’ She spoke in the oddest tone of authority.

It was command, not exhortation, but there was no harshness in her voice. ‘Go at once to Mr Carter. Tell him you have made a ludicrous mistake—in a fit of low spirits; anything you like to say. Tell him you of course couldn’t dream of becoming his clerk. To-night; at once! You understand me, Edwin? Go now, this moment.’

It was a command, not a plea, but her voice was not harsh. ‘Go to Mr. Carter immediately. Tell him you made a ridiculous mistake—in a moment of feeling down; say whatever you want. Tell him you would never even think of becoming his clerk. Tonight; right now! Do you understand me, Edwin? Go now, this instant.’

‘Have you determined to see how weak I am? Do you wish to be able to despise me more completely still?’

‘Have you decided to see how weak I am? Do you want to be able to look down on me even more?’

‘I am determined to be your friend, and to save you from yourself. Go at once! Leave all the rest to me. If I have let things take their course till now, it shan’t be so in future. The responsibility shall be with me. Only do as I tell you.’

‘I’m committed to being your friend and helping you avoid making mistakes. Go now! Leave everything else to me. If I’ve let things happen this way until now, that won’t be the case in the future. I’ll take on the responsibility. Just do what I say.’

‘You know it’s impossible—’

‘You know it’s not possible—’

‘It is not! I will find money. No one shall be allowed to say that we are parting; no one has any such idea yet. You are going away for your health, just three summer months. I have been far more careful of appearances than you imagine, but you give me credit for so little. I will find the money you need, until you have written another book. I promise; I undertake it. Then I will find another home for us, of the proper kind. You shall have no trouble. You shall give yourself entirely to intellectual things.

‘It’s not going to happen! I’ll find the money. No one will be allowed to say that we’re parting; no one has that idea yet. You’re going away for your health, just for three summer months. I’ve been much more careful about appearances than you realize, but you give me so little credit. I will get the money you need until you’ve written another book. I promise; I’ll take care of it. Then I’ll find us another place to live, one that suits us properly. You won’t have any trouble. You can focus entirely on your intellectual pursuits.’

But Mr Carter must be told at once, before he can spread a report. If he has spoken, he must contradict what he has said.’

But Mr. Carter needs to be informed immediately, before he can start a rumor. If he has already talked, he must take back what he said.

‘But you amaze me, Amy. Do you mean to say that you look upon it as a veritable disgrace, my taking this clerkship?’

‘But you surprise me, Amy. Are you saying that you see it as a real disgrace for me to take this clerkship?’

‘I do. I can’t help my nature. I am ashamed through and through that you should sink to this.’

‘I do. I can’t change who I am. I feel completely ashamed that you would stoop to this.’

‘But everyone knows that I was a clerk once!’

‘But everyone knows I used to be a clerk!’

‘Very few people know it. And then that isn’t the same thing. It doesn’t matter what one has been in the past. Especially a literary man; everyone expects to hear that he was once poor. But to fall from the position you now have, and to take weekly wages—you surely can’t know how people of my world regard that.’

'Very few people know that. And that’s not the same thing. It doesn’t matter what someone was in the past. Especially a writer; everyone expects to hear that he was once poor. But to drop from the position you currently have and to earn a weekly wage—you honestly can’t understand how people in my world see that.'

‘Of your world? I had thought your world was the same as mine, and knew nothing whatever of these imbecilities.’

‘Of your world? I thought your world was just like mine and had no idea about these ridiculous things.’

‘It is getting late. Go and see Mr Carter, and afterwards I will talk as much as you like.’

‘It's getting late. Go and see Mr. Carter, and afterwards, I’ll talk as much as you want.’

He might perhaps have yielded, but the unemphasised contempt in that last sentence was more than he could bear. It demonstrated to him more completely than set terms could have done what a paltry weakling he would appear in Amy’s eyes if he took his hat down from the peg and set out to obey her orders.

He might have given in, but the subtle contempt in that last sentence was too much for him to handle. It showed him more clearly than any direct words could have how much of a pathetic weakling he would seem in Amy’s eyes if he took his hat off the hook and went to follow her orders.

‘You are asking too much,’ he said, with unexpected coldness. ‘If my opinions are so valueless to you that you dismiss them like those of a troublesome child, I wonder you think it worth while to try and keep up appearances about me. It is very simple: make known to everyone that you are in no way connected with the disgrace I have brought upon myself. Put an advertisement in the newspapers to that effect, if you like—as men do about their wives’ debts. I have chosen my part. I can’t stultify myself to please you.’

‘You’re asking too much,’ he said, surprisingly cold. ‘If my opinions mean so little to you that you treat them like those of a bothersome child, I don’t see why you bother trying to maintain appearances regarding me. It's straightforward: let everyone know that you’re not connected to the shame I’ve brought upon myself. You can even put an ad in the newspapers about it, like men do about their wives’ debts. I’ve made my choice. I won't compromise myself to satisfy you.’

She knew that this was final. His voice had the true ring of shame in revolt.

She knew this was it. His voice had a genuine tone of shame in defiance.

‘Then go your way, and I will go mine!’

‘Then you go your way, and I'll go mine!’

Amy left the room.

Amy exited the room.

When Reardon went into the bedchamber an hour later, he unfolded a chair-bedstead that stood there, threw some rugs upon it, and so lay down to pass the night. He did not close his eyes. Amy slept for an hour or two before dawn, and on waking she started up and looked anxiously about the room. But neither spoke.

When Reardon entered the bedroom an hour later, he set up a pull-out bed that was there, tossed some blankets on it, and lay down to spend the night. He couldn’t fall asleep. Amy dozed for an hour or two before dawn, and when she woke up, she sat up and looked around the room anxiously. But neither of them said anything.

There was a pretence of ordinary breakfast; the little servant necessitated that. When she saw her husband preparing to go out, Amy asked him to come into the study.

There was a show of a typical breakfast; the young servant made that necessary. When she noticed her husband getting ready to leave, Amy asked him to come into the study.

‘How long shall you be away?’ she asked, curtly.

‘How long will you be gone?’ she asked, sharply.

‘It is doubtful. I am going to look for rooms.’

‘I don't know. I’m going to look for some places to stay.’

‘Then no doubt I shall be gone when you come back. There’s no object, now, in my staying here till to-morrow.’

‘Then I guess I won't be here when you return. There's no point in me sticking around until tomorrow.’

‘As you please.’

"Whatever you want."

‘Do you wish Lizzie still to come?’

‘Do you still want Lizzie to come?’

‘No. Please to pay her wages and dismiss her. Here is some money.’

‘No. Please pay her wages and let her go. Here is some money.’

‘I think you had better let me see to that.’

‘I think you should let me handle that.’

He flung the coin on to the table and opened the door. Amy stepped quickly forward and closed it again.

He tossed the coin onto the table and opened the door. Amy quickly stepped forward and shut it again.

‘This is our good-bye, is it?’ she asked, her eyes on the ground.

‘Is this our goodbye, then?’ she asked, looking down.

‘As you wish it—yes.’

"Whatever you want—yes."

‘You will remember that I have not wished it.’

'You'll remember that I didn't want it.'

‘In that case, you have only to go with me to the new home.’

‘In that case, you just have to come with me to the new home.’

‘I can’t.’

"I can't."

‘Then you have made your choice.’

"Then you've made your choice."

She did not prevent his opening the door this time, and he passed out without looking at her.

She didn’t stop him from opening the door this time, and he walked out without looking at her.

His return was at three in the afternoon. Amy and the child were gone; the servant was gone. The table in the dining-room was spread as if for one person’s meal.

His return was at three in the afternoon. Amy and the child were gone; the servant was gone. The table in the dining room was set as if for one person’s meal.

He went into the bedroom. Amy’s trunks had disappeared. The child’s cot was covered over. In the study, he saw that the sovereign he had thrown on to the table still lay in the same place.

He walked into the bedroom. Amy’s bags were gone. The child’s crib was covered. In the study, he noticed that the coin he had tossed onto the table was still right where he left it.

As it was a very cold day he lit a fire. Whilst it burnt up he sat reading a torn portion of a newspaper, and became quite interested in the report of a commercial meeting in the City, a thing he would never have glanced at under ordinary circumstances. The fragment fell at length from his hands; his head drooped; he sank into a troubled sleep.

As it was a really cold day, he started a fire. While it burned, he sat reading a torn piece of a newspaper and became quite interested in a report about a business meeting in the City, which he normally wouldn’t have paid any attention to. Eventually, the fragment slipped from his hands; his head drooped; he fell into a restless sleep.

About six he had tea, then began the packing of the few books that were to go with him, and of such other things as could be enclosed in box or portmanteau. After a couple of hours of this occupation he could no longer resist his weariness, so he went to bed. Before falling asleep he heard the two familiar clocks strike eight; this evening they were in unusual accord, and the querulous notes from the workhouse sounded between the deeper ones from St Marylebone. Reardon tried to remember when he had last observed this; the matter seemed to have a peculiar interest for him, and in dreams he worried himself with a grotesque speculation thence derived.

Around six, he had tea, then started packing the few books that were going with him, along with other items that could fit in a box or suitcase. After a couple of hours of this, he couldn’t fight off his tiredness anymore, so he went to bed. Before drifting off to sleep, he heard the two familiar clocks strike eight; tonight they were unusually synchronized, and the annoying chimes from the workhouse rang out between the deeper sounds from St Marylebone. Reardon tried to remember the last time he noticed this; it seemed to hold a strange interest for him, and in his dreams, he troubled himself with a bizarre thought that came from it.





CHAPTER XVIII. THE OLD HOME

Before her marriage Mrs Edmund Yule was one of seven motherless sisters who constituted the family of a dentist slenderly provided in the matter of income. The pinching and paring which was a chief employment of her energies in those early days had disagreeable effects upon a character disposed rather to generosity than the reverse; during her husband’s lifetime she had enjoyed rather too eagerly all the good things which he put at her command, sometimes forgetting that a wife has duties as well as claims, and in her widowhood she indulged a pretentiousness and querulousness which were the natural, but not amiable, results of suddenly restricted circumstances.

Before her marriage, Mrs. Edmund Yule was one of seven sisters who had lost their mother and made up the family of a dentist with limited income. The constant scrimping and saving that occupied much of her energy in those early days had unpleasant effects on a personality that leaned more toward generosity. During her husband's life, she eagerly enjoyed all the good things he provided, sometimes forgetting that a wife has responsibilities as well as needs. After he passed away, she allowed herself to become pretentious and whiny, which were natural but not pleasant outcomes of her suddenly tighter financial situation.

Like the majority of London people, she occupied a house of which the rent absurdly exceeded the due proportion of her income, a pleasant foible turned to such good account by London landlords. Whereas she might have lived with a good deal of modest comfort, her existence was a perpetual effort to conceal the squalid background of what was meant for the eyes of her friends and neighbours. She kept only two servants, who were so ill paid and so relentlessly overworked that it was seldom they remained with her for more than three months. In dealings with other people whom she perforce employed, she was often guilty of incredible meanness; as, for instance, when she obliged her half-starved dressmaker to purchase material for her, and then postponed payment alike for that and for the work itself to the last possible moment. This was not heartlessness in the strict sense of the word; the woman not only knew that her behaviour was shameful, she was in truth ashamed of it and sorry for her victims. But life was a battle. She must either crush or be crushed. With sufficient means, she would have defrauded no one, and would have behaved generously to many; with barely enough for her needs, she set her face and defied her feelings, inasmuch as she believed there was no choice.

Like most people in London, she lived in a house where the rent was absurdly higher than what she could afford, a charming quirk that London landlords took full advantage of. Although she could have lived with a fair amount of comfort, her life was a constant struggle to hide the shabby reality from her friends and neighbors. She only had two servants, and they were so poorly paid and overworked that they rarely stayed with her for more than three months. When dealing with others she was forced to hire, she often acted with unbelievable stinginess; for example, she made her half-starved dressmaker buy fabric for her, then delayed payment for both the fabric and the work until the last possible moment. This wasn't heartlessness in the strict sense; she knew her actions were shameful and genuinely felt ashamed and sorry for those she exploited. But life was a fight. She had to either overpower others or be overpowered herself. If she had enough resources, she wouldn't have cheated anyone and would have treated many people generously; but with barely enough to get by, she put on a brave face and ignored her feelings because she believed she had no other choice.

She would shed tears over a pitiful story of want, and without shadow of hypocrisy. It was hard, it was cruel; such things oughtn’t to be allowed in a world where there were so many rich people. The next day she would argue with her charwoman about halfpence, and end by paying the poor creature what she knew was inadequate and unjust. For the simplest reason: she hadn’t more to give, without submitting to privations which she considered intolerable.

She would cry over a sad story of need, and without a hint of insincerity. It was tough, it was unfair; such things shouldn't exist in a world filled with so many wealthy people. The next day, she would argue with her housekeeper about small change and end up paying the poor woman what she knew was too little and unfair. For the simplest reason: she didn't have more to give without enduring hardships she thought were unbearable.

But whilst she could be a positive hyena to strangers, to those who were akin to her, and those of whom she was fond, her affectionate kindness was remarkable. One observes this peculiarity often enough; it reminds one how savage the social conflict is, in which those little groups of people stand serried against their common enemies; relentless to all others, among themselves only the more tender and zealous because of the ever-impending danger. No mother was ever more devoted. Her son, a gentleman of quite noteworthy selfishness, had board and lodging beneath her roof on nominal terms, and under no stress of pecuniary trouble had Mrs Yule called upon him to make the slightest sacrifice on her behalf. Her daughter she loved with profound tenderness, and had no will that was opposed to Amy’s. And it was characteristic of her that her children were never allowed to understand of what baseness she often became guilty in the determination to support appearances. John Yule naturally suspected what went on behind the scenes; on one occasion—since Amy’s marriage—he had involuntarily overheard a dialogue between his mother and a servant on the point of departing which made even him feel ashamed. But from Amy every paltriness and meanness had always been concealed with the utmost care; Mrs Yule did not scruple to lie heroically when in danger of being detected by her daughter.

But while she could be quite harsh to strangers, with those close to her and whom she cared for, her affectionate kindness was remarkable. You often see this trait; it highlights how fierce social conflict can be, where small groups of people come together against their common enemies, unyielding to outsiders, but more tender and protective with each other because of the constant threat. No mother was ever more devoted. Her son, who was notably selfish, lived under her roof without paying rent, and Mrs. Yule never asked him to make even the smallest sacrifice for her, regardless of her financial struggles. She loved her daughter deeply and never opposed Amy’s wishes. It was typical of her to ensure her children remained unaware of the lengths she would go to maintain appearances. John Yule naturally suspected what was happening behind the scenes; once—after Amy married—he accidentally overheard a conversation between his mother and a departing servant that even made him feel embarrassed. But Mrs. Yule always concealed any meanness or pettiness from Amy with the utmost care; she didn’t hesitate to tell bold lies when she feared being found out by her daughter.

Yet this energetic lady had no social ambitions that pointed above her own stratum. She did not aim at intimacy with her superiors; merely at superiority among her intimates. Her circle was not large, but in that circle she must be regarded with the respect due to a woman of refined tastes and personal distinction. Her little dinners might be of rare occurrence, but to be invited must be felt a privilege. ‘Mrs Edmund Yule’ must sound well on people’s lips; never be the occasion of those peculiar smiles which she herself was rather fond of indulging at the mention of other people’s names.

Yet this energetic woman had no social ambitions that reached beyond her own level. She wasn't looking to get close to her superiors; she just wanted to stand out among her friends. Her circle wasn't big, but within that circle, she deserved to be respected as a woman of refined tastes and personal distinction. Her small dinners might happen infrequently, but being invited was considered a privilege. 'Mrs. Edmund Yule' must sound impressive to people; it should never cause those unique smiles that she herself often enjoyed when hearing about other people's names.

The question of Amy’s marriage had been her constant thought from the time when the little girl shot into a woman grown. For Amy no common match, no acceptance of a husband merely for money or position. Few men who walked the earth were mates for Amy. But years went on, and the man of undeniable distinction did not yet present himself. Suitors offered, but Amy smiled coldly at their addresses, in private not seldom scornfully, and her mother, though growing anxious, approved. Then of a sudden appeared Edwin Reardon.

The question of Amy's marriage had been on her mind ever since she transformed from a little girl into a grown woman. For Amy, it wasn't about settling for just anyone or accepting a husband solely for money or status. There were very few men out there who were truly a match for her. But time passed, and the man with undeniable qualities still hadn't shown up. Suitors came forward, but Amy responded to their advances with a cold smile, and privately, she often felt scornful. Her mother, though increasingly worried, supported her choices. Then suddenly, Edwin Reardon appeared.

A literary man? Well, it was one mode of distinction. Happily, a novelist; novelists now and then had considerable social success.

A literary guy? Well, that was one way to stand out. Luckily, a novelist; novelists sometimes had significant social success.

Mr Reardon, it was true, did not impress one as a man likely to push forward where the battle called for rude vigour, but Amy soon assured herself that he would have a reputation far other than that of the average successful storyteller. The best people would regard him; he would be welcomed in the penetralia of culture; superior persons would say: ‘Oh, I don’t read novels as a rule, but of course Mr Reardon’s—’ If that really were to be the case, all was well; for Mrs Yule could appreciate social and intellectual differences.

Mr. Reardon, it was true, didn’t strike one as the kind of guy who would push ahead when things got tough, but Amy quickly reassured herself that he would have a reputation quite different from that of your average successful storyteller. The best people would respect him; he would be welcomed in the circles of culture; sophisticated individuals would say, “Oh, I usually don’t read novels, but of course Mr. Reardon’s—” If that really was how it would be, then everything was fine; Mrs. Yule could recognize social and intellectual differences.

Alas! alas! What was the end of those shining anticipations?

Alas! alas! What happened to those bright hopes?

First of all, Mrs Yule began to make less frequent mention of ‘my son-in-law, Mr Edwin Reardon.’ Next, she never uttered his name save when inquiries necessitated it. Then, the most intimate of her intimates received little hints which were not quite easy to interpret. ‘Mr Reardon is growing so very eccentric—has an odd distaste for society—occupies himself with all sorts of out-of-the-way interests. No, I’m afraid we shan’t have another of his novels for some time. I think he writes anonymously a good deal. And really, such curious eccentricities!’ Many were the tears she wept after her depressing colloquies with Amy; and, as was to be expected, she thought severely of the cause of these sorrows. On the last occasion when he came to her house she received him with such extreme civility that Reardon thenceforth disliked her, whereas before he had only thought her a good-natured and silly woman.

First of all, Mrs. Yule started mentioning ‘my son-in-law, Mr. Edwin Reardon’ less often. Next, she only said his name when absolutely necessary. Then, even her closest friends received little hints that were hard to figure out. ‘Mr. Reardon is becoming quite eccentric—he has a strange aversion to socializing—he's involved in all kinds of unusual interests. No, I’m afraid we won’t have another of his novels for a while. I think he’s writing under a pseudonym a lot. And really, such odd behaviors!’ She cried many tears after her upsetting conversations with Amy, and naturally, she harshly judged the source of her troubles. The last time he visited her house, she greeted him with such excessive politeness that Reardon ended up disliking her, whereas before, he had just thought of her as a kind-hearted but silly woman.

Alas for Amy’s marriage with a man of distinction! From step to step of descent, till here was downright catastrophe. Bitter enough in itself, but most lamentable with reference to the friends of the family. How was it to be explained, this return of Amy to her home for several months, whilst her husband was no further away than Worthing? The bald, horrible truth—impossible! Yet Mr Milvain knew it, and the Carters must guess it. What colour could be thrown upon such vulgar distress?

Alas for Amy’s marriage to a distinguished man! It went downhill step by step until it ended in complete disaster. This was painful enough on its own, but it was even more tragic for the family’s friends. How would they explain Amy's return home for several months while her husband was just a short distance away in Worthing? The harsh, terrible truth—unthinkable! Yet Mr. Milvain was aware of it, and the Carters had to suspect it. What spin could possibly be put on such a humiliating situation?

The worst was not yet. It declared itself this May morning, when, quite unexpectedly, a cab drove up to the house, bringing Amy and her child, and her trunks, and her band-boxes, and her what-nots.

The worst was yet to come. It revealed itself on this May morning, when, out of nowhere, a cab pulled up to the house, bringing Amy and her child, along with her suitcases, her hat boxes, and all her other belongings.

From the dining-room window Mrs Yule was aware of this arrival, and in a few moments she learnt the unspeakable cause.

From the dining room window, Mrs. Yule noticed this arrival, and within moments, she found out the unimaginable reason.

She burst into tears, genuine as ever woman shed.

She started crying, as real as any woman does.

‘There’s no use in that, mother,’ said Amy, whose temper was in a dangerous state. ‘Nothing worse can happen, that’s one consolation.’

‘There’s no point in that, Mom,’ said Amy, whose temper was in a dangerous state. ‘Nothing worse can happen, so that’s one good thing.’

‘Oh, it’s disgraceful! disgraceful!’ sobbed Mrs Yule. ‘What we are to say I can NOT think.’

‘Oh, this is shameful! Totally shameful!’ cried Mrs. Yule. ‘I have no idea what we’re supposed to say.’

‘I shall say nothing whatever. People can scarcely have the impertinence to ask us questions when we have shown that they are unwelcome.’

‘I won’t say anything at all. People can hardly have the nerve to ask us questions when we've made it clear that they’re not welcome.’

‘But there are some people I can’t help giving some explanation to. My dear child, he is not in his right mind. I’m convinced of it, there! He is not in his right mind.’

‘But there are some people I can’t help giving some explanation to. My dear child, he’s not thinking clearly. I’m sure of it, really! He’s not thinking clearly.’

‘That’s nonsense, mother. He is as sane as I am.’

‘That’s nonsense, Mom. He’s as sane as I am.’

‘But you have often said what strange things he says and does; you know you have, Amy. That talking in his sleep; I’ve thought a great deal of it since you told me about that. And—and so many other things. My love, I shall give it to be understood that he has become so very odd in his ways that—’

‘But you’ve often mentioned how strange he is in what he says and does; you know you have, Amy. That sleep-talking; I’ve thought a lot about it since you told me. And—and so many other things. My love, I’m going to make it clear that he has become so very odd in his ways that—’

‘I can’t have that,’ replied Amy with decision. ‘Don’t you see that in that case I should be behaving very badly?’

‘I can’t have that,’ Amy said firmly. ‘Don’t you realize that would mean I’d be acting really poorly?’

‘I can’t see that at all. There are many reasons, as you know very well, why one shouldn’t live with a husband who is at all suspected of mental derangement. You have done your utmost for him. And this would be some sort of explanation, you know. I am so convinced that there is truth in it, too.’

‘I can’t see that at all. There are many reasons, as you know very well, why one shouldn’t live with a husband who is even slightly suspected of mental instability. You have done everything you could for him. And this would be some kind of explanation, you know. I’m really convinced there’s truth in that too.’

‘Of course I can’t prevent you from saying what you like, but I think it would be very wrong to start a rumour of this kind.’

‘Of course I can’t stop you from saying whatever you want, but I think it would be really wrong to start a rumor like this.’

There was less resolve in this utterance. Amy mused, and looked wretched.

There was less determination in this statement. Amy thought about it and looked miserable.

‘Come up to the drawing-room, dear,’ said her mother, for they had held their conversation in the room nearest to the house-door. ‘What a state your mind must be in! Oh dear! Oh dear!’

‘Come up to the living room, dear,’ her mother said, since they had been talking in the room closest to the front door. ‘What a mess your mind must be in! Oh dear! Oh dear!’

She was a slender, well-proportioned woman, still pretty in face, and dressed in a way that emphasised her abiding charms. Her voice had something of plaintiveness, and altogether she was of frailer type than her daughter.

She was a slim, well-proportioned woman, still attractive in the face, and dressed in a way that highlighted her enduring charms. Her voice had a somewhat wistful quality, and overall, she was more delicate than her daughter.

‘Is my room ready?’ Amy inquired on the stairs.

‘Is my room ready?’ Amy asked from the stairs.

‘I’m sorry to say it isn’t, dear, as I didn’t expect you till tomorrow. But it shall be seen to immediately.’

‘I’m sorry to say it isn’t, dear, as I didn’t expect you until tomorrow. But I’ll take care of it right away.’

This addition to the household was destined to cause grave difficulties with the domestic slaves. But Mrs Yule would prove equal to the occasion. On Amy’s behalf she would have worked her servants till they perished of exhaustion before her eyes.

This new member of the household was sure to create serious problems with the domestic staff. But Mrs. Yule would rise to the challenge. On Amy’s behalf, she would have worked her servants to the point of collapse right in front of her.

‘Use my room for the present,’ she added. ‘I think the girl has finished up there. But wait here; I’ll just go and see to things.’

‘You can use my room for now,’ she said. ‘I think the girl is done in there. But wait here; I’ll just go check on things.’

‘Things’ were not quite satisfactory, as it proved. You should have heard the change that came in that sweetly plaintive voice when it addressed the luckless housemaid. It was not brutal; not at all. But so sharp, hard, unrelenting—the voice of the goddess Poverty herself perhaps sounds like that.

'Things' were not really satisfactory, as it turned out. You should have heard the shift in that sweetly mournful voice when it spoke to the unlucky housemaid. It wasn't brutal; not at all. But it was so sharp, hard, and unyielding—the voice of the goddess Poverty herself might sound something like that.

Mad? Was he to be spoken of in a low voice, and with finger pointing to the forehead? There was something ridiculous, as well as repugnant, in such a thought; but it kept possession of Amy’s mind. She was brooding upon it when her mother came into the drawing-room.

Mad? Was he to be talked about in a hushed voice, with fingers pointed to the forehead? There was something both ridiculous and disgusting about that idea, but it lingered in Amy's thoughts. She was lost in it when her mother entered the living room.

‘And he positively refused to carry out the former plan?’

‘And he absolutely refused to go along with the original plan?’

‘Refused. Said it was useless.’

"Rejected. Claimed it was pointless."

‘How could it be useless? There’s something so unaccountable in his behaviour.’

‘How could it be pointless? There’s something so unpredictable in his behavior.’

‘I don’t think it unaccountable,’ replied Amy. ‘It’s weak and selfish, that’s all. He takes the first miserable employment that offers rather than face the hard work of writing another book.’

‘I don’t think it’s unreasonable,’ replied Amy. ‘It’s just weak and selfish, that’s all. He takes the first lousy job that comes along instead of putting in the effort to write another book.’

She was quite aware that this did not truly represent her husband’s position. But an uneasiness of conscience impelled her to harsh speech.

She knew this didn't really reflect her husband's stance. But a nagging guilt pushed her to speak harshly.

‘But just fancy!’ exclaimed her mother. ‘What can he mean by asking you to go and live with him on twenty-five shillings a week? Upon my word. if his mind isn’t disordered he must have made a deliberate plan to get rid of you.’

‘But just imagine!’ exclaimed her mother. ‘What could he possibly mean by asking you to go and live with him on twenty-five shillings a week? Honestly, if he’s not out of his mind, he must have a deliberate plan to get rid of you.’

Amy shook her head.

Amy shook her head.

‘You mean,’ asked Mrs Yule, ‘that he really thinks it possible for all of you to be supported on those wages?’

‘You mean,’ asked Mrs. Yule, ‘that he actually believes it's possible for all of you to get by on those wages?’

The last word was chosen to express the utmost scorn.

The final word was picked to show the highest level of disdain.

‘He talked of earning fifty pounds a year by writing.’

‘He talked about making fifty pounds a year by writing.’

‘Even then it could only make about a hundred a year. My dear child, it’s one of two things: either he is out of his mind, or he has purposely cast you off.’

‘Even then it could only make about a hundred a year. My dear child, it’s one of two things: either he is crazy, or he has intentionally rejected you.’

Amy laughed, thinking of her husband in the light of the latter alternative.

Amy laughed, imagining her husband in the situation of the other option.

‘There’s no need to seek so far for explanations,’ she said. ‘He has failed, that’s all; just like a man might fail in any other business. He can’t write like he used to. It may be all the result of ill-health; I don’t know. His last book, you see, is positively refused. He has made up his mind that there’s nothing but poverty before him, and he can’t understand why I should object to live like the wife of a working-man.’

‘There’s no need to look so far for explanations,’ she said. ‘He has failed, that’s all; just like anyone might fail in any other job. He can’t write like he used to. It might all be due to poor health; I don’t know. His last book, you see, has been completely rejected. He’s decided that there’s nothing but poverty ahead of him, and he can’t understand why I would object to living like the wife of a working man.’

‘Well, I only know that he has placed you in an exceedingly difficult position. If he had gone away to Worthing for the summer we might have made it seem natural; people are always ready to allow literary men to do rather odd things—up to a certain point. We should have behaved as if there were nothing that called for explanation. But what are we to do now?’

‘Well, I only know that he has put you in a really tough spot. If he had gone to Worthing for the summer, we could have made it look normal; people are usually willing to let writers get away with some weird stuff—up to a point. We would have acted like there was nothing that needed explaining. But what are we supposed to do now?’

Like her multitudinous kind, Mrs Yule lived only in the opinions of other people. What others would say was her ceaseless preoccupation. She had never conceived of life as something proper to the individual; independence in the directing of one’s course seemed to her only possible in the case of very eccentric persons, or of such as were altogether out of society. Amy had advanced, intellectually, far beyond this standpoint, but lack of courage disabled her from acting upon her convictions.

Like many others, Mrs. Yule only cared about what people thought of her. What others would say was her constant worry. She had never seen life as something personal; to her, being independent in making one’s own choices only seemed possible for very eccentric individuals or those completely outside of society. Amy had mentally advanced well past this mindset, but her lack of courage prevented her from acting on her beliefs.

‘People must know the truth, I suppose,’ she answered dispiritedly.

“People need to know the truth, I guess,” she replied with a sense of defeat.

Now, confession of the truth was the last thing that would occur to Mrs Yule when social relations were concerned. Her whole existence was based on bold denial of actualities. And, as is natural in such persons, she had the ostrich instinct strongly developed; though very acute in the discovery of her friends’ shams and lies, she deceived herself ludicrously in the matter of concealing her own embarrassments.

Now, admitting the truth was the last thing Mrs. Yule would consider when it came to social interactions. Her entire life was built on boldly denying reality. And, as is common with such people, she had a strong tendency to bury her head in the sand; while she was very sharp at detecting her friends' deceptions and lies, she ridiculously fooled herself about concealing her own troubles.

‘But the fact is, my dear,’ she answered, ‘we don’t know the truth ourselves. You had better let yourself be directed by me. It will be better, at first, if you see as few people as possible. I suppose you must say something or other to two or three of your own friends; if you take my advice you’ll be rather mysterious. Let them think what they like; anything is better than to say plainly. “My husband can’t support me, and he has gone to work as a clerk for weekly wages.” Be mysterious, darling; depend upon it, that’s the safest.’

‘But the truth is, my dear,’ she replied, ‘we don’t really know what’s going on ourselves. It’s best if you let me guide you. For now, it would be better if you see as few people as possible. I suppose you’ll need to say something to a couple of your friends; if you take my advice, you should keep it a bit vague. Let them think what they want; anything is better than just saying, “My husband can’t support me, and he’s taken a job as a clerk for a weekly paycheck.” Be a bit mysterious, darling; trust me, that’s the safest approach.’

The conversation was pursued, with brief intervals, all through the day. In the afternoon two ladies paid a call, but Amy kept out of sight. Between six and seven John Yule returned from his gentlemanly occupations. As he was generally in a touchy temper before dinner had soothed him, nothing was said to him of the latest development of his sister’s affairs until late in the evening; he was allowed to suppose that Reardon’s departure for the seaside had taken place a day sooner than had been arranged.

The conversation continued, with short breaks, all day long. In the afternoon, two women came by for a visit, but Amy stayed hidden. Between six and seven, John Yule came back from his business. Since he usually had a sensitive mood before dinner calmed him down, no one mentioned the recent developments regarding his sister until later in the evening. He was led to believe that Reardon had left for the seaside a day earlier than originally planned.

Behind the dining-room was a comfortable little chamber set apart as John’s sanctum; here he smoked and entertained his male friends, and contemplated the portraits of those female ones who would not have been altogether at their ease in Mrs Yule’s drawing-room. Not long after dinner his mother and sister came to talk with him in this retreat.

Behind the dining room was a cozy little room designated as John's private space; here he smoked, hung out with his male friends, and admired the portraits of the women who wouldn't have felt completely comfortable in Mrs. Yule's drawing room. Not long after dinner, his mother and sister came to chat with him in this retreat.

With some nervousness Mrs Yule made known to him what had taken place. Amy, the while, stood by the table, and glanced over a magazine that she had picked up.

With some nervousness, Mrs. Yule told him what had happened. Meanwhile, Amy stood by the table, looking through a magazine she had picked up.

‘Well, I see nothing to be surprised at,’ was John’s first remark. ‘It was pretty certain he’d come to this. But what I want to know is, how long are we to be at the expense of supporting Amy and her youngster?’

‘Well, I see nothing to be surprised about,’ was John’s first comment. ‘It was pretty obvious he’d end up like this. But what I want to know is, how long are we going to have to pay for Amy and her kid?’

This was practical, and just what Mrs Yule had expected from her son.

This was practical and exactly what Mrs. Yule had expected from her son.

‘We can’t consider such things as that,’ she replied. ‘You don’t wish, I suppose, that Amy should go and live in a back street at Islington, and be hungry every other day, and soon have no decent clothes?’

‘We can’t think about stuff like that,’ she said. ‘You don’t want Amy to have to live in a rundown area in Islington, go hungry every other day, and end up with no decent clothes, do you?’

‘I don’t think Jack would be greatly distressed,’ Amy put in quietly.

‘I don’t think Jack would be too upset,’ Amy added quietly.

‘This is a woman’s way of talking,’ replied John. ‘I want to know what is to be the end of it all? I’ve no doubt it’s uncommonly pleasant for Reardon to shift his responsibilities on to our shoulders. At this rate I think I shall get married, and live beyond my means until I can hold out no longer, and then hand my wife over to her relatives, with my compliments. It’s about the coolest business that ever came under my notice.’

‘This is how women talk,’ replied John. ‘I want to know what the outcome of all this is going to be? I have no doubt it’s extremely convenient for Reardon to pass his responsibilities onto us. At this rate, I think I might as well get married, live beyond my means until I can’t keep it up anymore, and then hand my wife over to her family, with my best regards. It’s the most outrageous situation I’ve ever seen.’

‘But what is to be done?’ asked Mrs Yule. ‘It’s no use talking sarcastically, John, or making yourself disagreeable.’

‘But what are we supposed to do?’ asked Mrs. Yule. ‘It’s pointless to talk sarcastically, John, or to make things unpleasant.’

‘We are not called upon to find a way out of the difficulty. The fact of the matter is, Reardon must get a decent berth. Somebody or other must pitch him into the kind of place that suits men who can do nothing in particular. Carter ought to be able to help, I should think.’

‘We don't need to figure out how to escape the problem. The truth is, Reardon needs to get a good job. Someone has to get him into a position that's right for people who don't have a specific skill set. I believe Carter should be able to assist with that.’

‘You know very well,’ said Amy, ‘that places of that kind are not to be had for the asking. It may be years before any such opportunity offers.’

‘You know very well,’ Amy said, ‘that places like that aren't just available anytime you want. It could be years before any opportunity like that comes up.’

‘Confound the fellow! Why the deuce doesn’t he go on with his novel-writing? There’s plenty of money to be made out of novels.’

‘Damn the guy! Why on earth doesn’t he just get on with writing his novel? There’s a lot of money to be made from novels.’

‘But he can’t write, Jack. He has lost his talent.’

‘But he can’t write, Jack. He’s lost his talent.’

‘That’s all bosh, Amy. If a fellow has once got into the swing of it he can keep it up if he likes. He might write his two novels a year easily enough, just like twenty other men and women. Look here, I could do it myself if I weren’t too lazy. And that’s what’s the matter with Reardon. He doesn’t care to work.’

"That’s all nonsense, Amy. Once a guy gets into the groove, he can keep it going if he wants. He could easily write two novels a year, just like twenty other people. Honestly, I could do it myself if I weren't so lazy. And that’s the issue with Reardon. He just doesn’t want to put in the effort."

‘I have thought that myself;’ observed Mrs Yule. ‘It really is too ridiculous to say that he couldn’t write some kind of novels if he chose. Look at Miss Blunt’s last book; why, anybody could have written that. I’m sure there isn’t a thing in it I couldn’t have imagined myself.’

‘I’ve thought that too,’ said Mrs. Yule. ‘It’s just ridiculous to say he couldn’t write some kind of novels if he wanted to. Look at Miss Blunt’s latest book; honestly, anyone could have written that. I’m sure there’s nothing in it I couldn’t have imagined myself.’

‘Well, all I want to know is, what’s Amy going to do if things don’t alter?’

‘Well, all I want to know is, what’s Amy going to do if things don’t change?’

‘She shall never want a home as long as I have one to share with her.’

‘She will never be without a home as long as I have one to share with her.’

John’s natural procedure, when beset by difficulties, was to find fault with everyone all round, himself maintaining a position of irresponsibility.

John's usual response when facing challenges was to blame everyone else, while he himself acted like he had no responsibility.

‘It’s all very well, mother, but when a girl gets married she takes her husband, I have always understood, for better or worse, just as a man takes his wife. To tell the truth, it seems to me Amy has put herself in the wrong. It’s deuced unpleasant to go and live in back streets, and to go without dinner now and then, but girls mustn’t marry if they’re afraid to face these things.’

‘It sounds nice, Mom, but when a girl gets married, she takes her husband, as I've always understood, for better or worse, just like a man takes his wife. Honestly, it seems to me that Amy is in the wrong here. It's really unpleasant to live in a rough area and skip dinner now and then, but girls shouldn't marry if they're scared to deal with these situations.’

‘Don’t talk so monstrously, John!’ exclaimed his mother. ‘How could Amy possibly foresee such things? The case is quite an extraordinary one.’

‘Don’t speak so ridiculously, John!’ his mother exclaimed. ‘How could Amy possibly predict such things? This situation is really quite extraordinary.’

‘Not so uncommon, I assure you. Some one was telling me the other day of a married lady—well educated and blameless—who goes to work at a shop somewhere or other because her husband can’t support her.’

‘Not so uncommon, I assure you. Someone was telling me the other day about a married woman—well-educated and innocent—who works in a shop somewhere because her husband can’t support her.’

‘And you wish to see Amy working in a shop?’

‘And you want to see Amy working in a store?’

‘No, I can’t say I do. I’m only telling you that her bad luck isn’t unexampled. It’s very fortunate for her that she has good-natured relatives.’

‘No, I can’t say I do. I’m just pointing out that her bad luck isn’t unique. It’s really lucky for her that she has kind relatives.’

Amy had taken a seat apart. She sat with her head leaning on her hand.

Amy had taken a separate seat. She sat with her head resting on her hand.

‘Why don’t you go and see Reardon?’ John asked of his mother.

‘Why don’t you go see Reardon?’ John asked his mother.

‘What would be the use? Perhaps he would tell me to mind my own business.’

'What's the point? He'd probably just tell me to mind my own business.'

‘By jingo! precisely what you would be doing. I think you ought to see him and give him to understand that he’s behaving in a confoundedly ungentlemanly way. Evidently he’s the kind of fellow that wants stirring up. I’ve half a mind to go and see him myself. Where is this slum that he’s gone to live in?’

‘Wow! That's exactly what you should be doing. I think you should meet with him and make it clear that he’s acting in a really rude way. Clearly, he’s the kind of guy who needs to be shaken up a bit. I’m almost tempted to go and see him myself. Where is this rundown place he’s chosen to live in?’

‘We don’t know his address yet.’

'We don't know his address yet.'

‘So long as it’s not the kind of place where one would be afraid of catching a fever, I think it wouldn’t be amiss for me to look him up.’

‘As long as it's not the kind of place where you'd be worried about catching a fever, I think it would be fine for me to check on him.’

‘You’ll do no good by that,’ said Amy, indifferently.

‘That won't help you at all,’ Amy said, shrugging.

‘Confound it! It’s just because nobody does anything that things have come to this pass!’

‘Darn it! It's just because no one does anything that things have come to this point!’

The conversation was, of course, profitless. John could only return again and again to his assertion that Reardon must get ‘a decent berth.’ At length Amy left the room in weariness and disgust.

The conversation was, of course, pointless. John kept insisting that Reardon needed to get 'a decent job.' Eventually, Amy left the room in frustration and boredom.

‘I suppose they have quarrelled terrifically,’ said her brother, as soon as she was gone.

“I guess they had a huge fight,” said her brother as soon as she left.

‘I am afraid so.’

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

‘Well, you must do as you please. But it’s confounded hard lines that you should have to keep her and the kid. You know I can’t afford to contribute.’

‘Well, you can do whatever you want. But it really sucks that you have to take care of her and the kid. You know I can’t afford to help out.’

‘My dear, I haven’t asked you to.’

‘My dear, I didn’t ask you to.’

‘No, but you’ll have the devil’s own job to make ends meet; I know that well enough.’

‘No, but you’ll have a really tough time making ends meet; I know that well enough.’

‘I shall manage somehow.’

"I'll manage somehow."

‘All right; you’re a plucky woman, but it’s too bad. Reardon’s a humbug, that’s my opinion. I shall have a talk with Carter about him. I suppose he has transferred all their furniture to the slum?’

‘All right; you’re a brave woman, but it’s unfortunate. Reardon’s a fraud, that’s what I think. I’ll have a chat with Carter about him. I guess he’s moved all their furniture to the rundown area?’

‘He can’t have removed yet. It was only this morning that he went to search for lodgings.’

‘He can't have left yet. He just went to look for a place to stay this morning.’

‘Oh, then I tell you what it is: I shall look in there the first thing to-morrow morning, and just talk to him in a fatherly way. You needn’t say anything to Amy. But I see he’s just the kind of fellow that, if everyone leaves him alone, he’ll be content with Carter’s five-and-twenty shillings for the rest of his life, and never trouble his head about how Amy is living.’

‘Oh, let me tell you what I’ll do: I’ll check in there first thing tomorrow morning and have a fatherly chat with him. You don’t need to say anything to Amy. But I can see he’s the type of guy who, if everyone just leaves him alone, will be perfectly fine living off Carter’s twenty-five shillings for the rest of his life and won’t even think about how Amy is getting by.’

To this proposal Mrs Yule readily assented. On going upstairs she found that Amy had all but fallen asleep upon a settee in the drawing-room.

To this proposal, Mrs. Yule quickly agreed. When she went upstairs, she found that Amy had almost fallen asleep on a couch in the living room.

‘You are quite worn out with your troubles,’ she said. ‘Go to bed, and have a good long sleep.’

‘You look really exhausted from everything you’ve been dealing with,’ she said. ‘Get some rest and enjoy a nice, long sleep.’

‘Yes, I will.’

"Yes, I will."

The neat, fresh bedchamber seemed to Amy a delightful haven of rest. She turned the key in the door with an enjoyment of the privacy thus secured such as she had never known in her life; for in maidenhood safe solitude was a matter of course to her, and since marriage she had not passed a night alone. Willie was fast asleep in a little bed shadowed by her own. In an impulse of maternal love and gladness she bent over the child and covered his face with kisses too gentle to awaken him.

The neat, fresh bedroom felt like a wonderful retreat to Amy. She turned the key in the door, relishing the privacy she had never experienced before; during her single years, solitude was just something she took for granted, and since getting married, she hadn’t spent a single night alone. Willie was sound asleep in a small bed tucked under hers. Filled with maternal love and joy, she leaned over the child and showered his face with soft kisses that wouldn’t wake him.

How clean and sweet everything was! It is often said, by people who are exquisitely ignorant of the matter, that cleanliness is a luxury within reach even of the poorest. Very far from that; only with the utmost difficulty, with wearisome exertion, with harassing sacrifice, can people who are pinched for money preserve a moderate purity in their persons and their surroundings. By painful degrees Amy had accustomed herself to compromises in this particular which in the early days of her married life would have seemed intensely disagreeable, if not revolting. A housewife who lives in the country, and has but a patch of back garden, or even a good-sized kitchen, can, if she thinks fit, take her place at the wash-tub and relieve her mind on laundry matters; but to the inhabitant of a miniature flat in the heart of London anything of that kind is out of the question.

How clean and sweet everything was! People who are completely clueless often say that cleanliness is a luxury that even the poorest can afford. That couldn’t be further from the truth; only with extreme effort, exhausting work, and frustrating sacrifices can those struggling financially maintain even a basic level of cleanliness in their lives and surroundings. Gradually, Amy had gotten used to making compromises in this area that would have seemed incredibly unpleasant, if not disgusting, in the early days of her marriage. A housewife living in the countryside, with just a small backyard or even a decent-sized kitchen, can, if she wants to, take a turn at the washbasin and tackle the laundry; but for someone living in a tiny flat in the heart of London, any of that is simply not possible.

When Amy began to cut down her laundress’s bill, she did it with a sense of degradation. One grows accustomed, however, to such unpleasant necessities, and already she had learnt what was the minimum of expenditure for one who is troubled with a lady’s instincts.

When Amy started to reduce her laundress’s bill, she felt a sense of shame. However, one gets used to these uncomfortable necessities, and she had already figured out the least amount she could spend while still dealing with the needs of a woman.

No, no; cleanliness is a costly thing, and a troublesome thing when appliances and means have to be improvised. It was, in part, the understanding she had gained of this side of the life of poverty that made Amy shrink in dread from the still narrower lodgings to which Reardon invited her. She knew how subtly one’s self-respect can be undermined by sordid conditions. The difference between the life of well-to-do educated people and that of the uneducated poor is not greater in visible details than in the minutiae of privacy, and Amy must have submitted to an extraordinary change before it would have been possible for her to live at ease in the circumstances which satisfy a decent working-class woman. She was prepared for final parting from her husband rather than try to effect that change in herself.

No, no; cleanliness is expensive and a hassle when you have to make do with whatever you can find. It was partly her awareness of this aspect of poverty that made Amy recoil in fear from the even smaller living spaces Reardon suggested. She understood how easily one’s self-respect can be eroded by dirty conditions. The gap between the lives of well-off, educated people and the uneducated poor isn’t just about the obvious differences, but also about the little details of privacy. Amy would have to endure a significant shift in herself to feel comfortable in the situations that a decent working-class woman would accept. She was ready to finally part ways with her husband rather than attempt to make that transformation.

She undressed at leisure, and stretched her limbs in the cold, soft, fragrant bed. A sigh of profound relief escaped her. How good it was to be alone!

She took her time getting undressed and stretched her limbs in the cold, soft, fragrant bed. A deep sigh of relief escaped her. It felt so great to be alone!

And in a quarter of an hour she was sleeping as peacefully as the child who shared her room.

And in fifteen minutes, she was sleeping as peacefully as the child who shared her room.

At breakfast in the morning she showed a bright, almost a happy face. It was long, long since she had enjoyed such a night’s rest, so undisturbed with unwelcome thoughts on the threshold of sleep and on awaking. Her life was perhaps wrecked, but the thought of that did not press upon her; for the present she must enjoy her freedom. It was like a recovery of girlhood. There are few married women who would not, sooner or later, accept with joy the offer of some months of a maidenly liberty. Amy would not allow herself to think that her wedded life was at an end. With a woman’s strange faculty of closing her eyes against facts that do not immediately concern her, she tasted the relief of the present and let the future lie unregarded. Reardon would get out of his difficulties sooner or later; somebody or other would help him; that was the dim background of her agreeable sensations.

At breakfast in the morning, she had a bright, almost happy look on her face. It had been a long time since she had enjoyed such an undisturbed night’s rest without unwelcome thoughts creeping in as she fell asleep or upon waking up. Her life might be in shambles, but she didn’t let that weigh her down; for now, she wanted to savor her freedom. It felt like a return to her youth. There are few married women who wouldn’t eventually embrace the chance for a few months of single life with joy. Amy refused to think that her married life was over. With a woman’s unique ability to ignore realities that don’t directly affect her, she embraced the relief of the present and let the future be. Reardon would figure out his issues eventually; someone would come to his aid; that was the faint backdrop to her pleasant feelings.

He suffered, no doubt. But then it was just as well that he should. Suffering would perhaps impel him to effort. When he communicated to her his new address—he could scarcely neglect to do that—she would send a not unfriendly letter, and hint to him that now was his opportunity for writing a book, as good a book as those which formerly issued from his garret-solitude. If he found that literature was in truth a thing of the past with him, then he must exert himself to obtain a position worthy of an educated man. Yes, in this way she would write to him, without a word that could hurt or offend.

He definitely suffered. But maybe that was for the best. Suffering might push him to take action. When he shared his new address with her—he could hardly leave that out—she would send him a friendly enough letter and suggest that now was his chance to write a book, as good as the ones he used to produce when he was alone in his attic. If he discovered that literature truly was behind him, he would then need to work hard to find a position that suited an educated man. Yes, that’s how she would write to him, without saying anything hurtful or offensive.

She ate an excellent breakfast, and made known her enjoyment of it.

She had a great breakfast and expressed how much she enjoyed it.

‘I am so glad!’ replied her mother. ‘You have been getting quite thin and pale.’

‘I’m so glad!’ replied her mother. ‘You’ve been looking really thin and pale.’

‘Quite consumptive,’ remarked John, looking up from his newspaper. ‘Shall I make arrangements for a daily landau at the livery stables round here?’

‘Pretty sickly,’ said John, glancing up from his newspaper. ‘Should I set up a daily carriage at the local livery stables?’

‘You can if you like,’ replied his sister; ‘it would do both mother and me good, and I have no doubt you could afford it quite well.’

‘You can if you want,’ replied his sister; ‘it would be good for both mom and me, and I’m sure you can manage it just fine.’

‘Oh, indeed! You’re a remarkable young woman, let me tell you. By-the-bye, I suppose your husband is breakfasting on bread and water?’

‘Oh, really! You’re an amazing young woman, I have to say. By the way, I assume your husband is having just bread and water for breakfast?’

‘I hope not, and I don’t think it very likely.’

‘I hope not, and I don’t think it’s very likely.’

‘Jack, Jack!’ interposed Mrs Yule, softly.

‘Jack, Jack!’ Mrs. Yule said gently.

Her son resumed his paper, and at the end of the meal rose with an unwonted briskness to make his preparations for departure.

Her son picked up his paper again, and after they finished eating, he stood up with an unusual energy to get ready to leave.





CHAPTER XIX. THE PAST REVIVED

Nor would it be true to represent Edwin Reardon as rising to the new day wholly disconsolate. He too had slept unusually well, and with returning consciousness the sense of a burden removed was more instant than that of his loss and all the dreary circumstances attaching to it. He had no longer to fear the effects upon Amy of such a grievous change as from their homelike flat to the couple of rooms he had taken in Islington; for the moment, this relief helped him to bear the pain of all that had happened and the uneasiness which troubled him when he reflected that his wife was henceforth a charge to her mother.

Nor would it be accurate to say that Edwin Reardon woke up completely heartbroken. He had also slept unusually well, and as he became aware again, the feeling of having a weight lifted was more immediate than the pain of his loss and all the grim circumstances that came with it. He no longer had to worry about how such a harsh change from their cozy flat to the couple of rooms he had rented in Islington would affect Amy; for now, this relief helped him cope with the pain of everything that had happened and the unease he felt when he thought about how his wife was now a responsibility for her mother.

Of course for the moment only. He had no sooner begun to move about, to prepare his breakfast (amid the relics of last evening’s meal), to think of all the detestable work he had to do before to-morrow night, than his heart sank again. His position was well-nigh as dolorous as that of any man who awoke that morning to the brutal realities of life. If only for the shame of it! How must they be speaking of him, Amy’s relatives, and her friends? A novelist who couldn’t write novels; a husband who couldn’t support his wife and child; a literate who made eager application for illiterate work at paltry wages—how interesting it would all sound in humorous gossip! And what hope had he that things would ever be better with him?

Of course only for the moment. He had hardly started to move around, to prepare his breakfast (among the leftovers from last night’s meal), to think about all the awful tasks he had to complete before tomorrow night, when his heart sank again. His situation was almost as miserable as that of anyone who woke up that morning to the harsh realities of life. If only for the embarrassment of it! What must Amy’s relatives and friends be saying about him? A writer who couldn’t write novels; a husband who couldn’t provide for his wife and child; an educated man applying for unskilled work at low pay—how interesting it would all sound in light-hearted gossip! And what hope did he have that things would ever improve for him?

Had he done well? Had he done wisely? Would it not have been better to have made that one last effort? There came before him a vision of quiet nooks beneath the Sussex cliffs, of the long lines of green breakers bursting into foam; he heard the wave-music, and tasted the briny freshness of the sea-breeze. Inspiration, after all, would perchance have come to him.

Had he done well? Had he made the right choice? Would it not have been better to make that one last effort? A vision appeared before him of peaceful spots beneath the Sussex cliffs, of the long lines of green waves crashing into foam; he heard the sound of the waves and tasted the salty freshness of the sea breeze. Inspiration, after all, might have come to him.

If Amy’s love had but been of more enduring quality; if she had strengthened him for this last endeavour with the brave tenderness of an ideal wife! But he had seen such hateful things in her eyes. Her love was dead, and she regarded him as the man who had spoilt her hopes of happiness. It was only for her own sake that she urged him to strive on; let his be the toil, that hers might be the advantage if he succeeded.

If Amy's love had been more lasting; if she had supported him for this final effort with the strong kindness of a perfect wife! But he had seen such terrible things in her eyes. Her love was gone, and she looked at him as the man who had ruined her chances of happiness. It was only for her own benefit that she pushed him to keep going; let him do the hard work so that she could benefit if he succeeded.

‘She would be glad if I were dead. She would be glad.’

‘She would be happy if I were dead. She would be happy.’

He had the conviction of it. Oh yes, she would shed tears; they come so easily to women. But to have him dead and out of her way; to be saved from her anomalous position; to see once more a chance in life; she would welcome it.

He was sure of it. Oh yes, she would cry; it comes so easily to women. But with him dead and out of her way; to be free from her strange situation; to see another opportunity in life; she would embrace it.

But there was no time for brooding. To-day he had to sell all the things that were superfluous, and to make arrangements for the removal of his effects to-morrow. By Wednesday night, in accordance with his agreement, the flat must be free for the new occupier.

But there was no time to dwell on things. Today he had to sell all the unnecessary stuff and make plans to move his belongings tomorrow. By Wednesday night, as per his agreement, the apartment had to be ready for the new tenant.

He had taken only two rooms, and fortunately as things were. Three would have cost more than he was likely to be able to afford for a long time. The rent of the two was to be six-and-sixpence; and how, if Amy had consented to come, could he have met the expenses of their living out of his weekly twenty-five shillings? How could he have pretended to do literary work in such cramped quarters, he who had never been able to write a line save in strict seclusion? In his despair he had faced the impossible. Amy had shown more wisdom, though in a spirit of unkindness.

He had rented only two rooms, which was a lucky break considering everything. Three would have been too expensive for him to handle for a long time. The rent for the two rooms was six shillings and sixpence; and if Amy had agreed to come, how could he have covered their living expenses on his weekly twenty-five shillings? How could he have pretended to do any writing in such cramped space, especially since he could only write in complete solitude? In his desperation, he had confronted what seemed impossible. Amy had been wiser, although it came off as unkind.

Towards ten o’clock he was leaving the flat to go and find people who would purchase his books and old clothing and other superfluities; but before he could close the door behind him, an approaching step on the stairs caught his attention. He saw the shining silk hat of a well-equipped gentleman. It was John Yule.

Towards ten o’clock, he was heading out of the apartment to find people who would buy his books, old clothes, and other unnecessary stuff; but before he could shut the door behind him, he heard footsteps on the stairs. He spotted the shiny silk hat of a well-dressed man. It was John Yule.

‘Ha! Good-morning!’ John exclaimed, looking up. ‘A minute or two and I should have been too late, I see.’

‘Ha! Good morning!’ John exclaimed, looking up. ‘In a minute or two, I would have been too late, I see.’

He spoke in quite a friendly way, and, on reaching the landing, shook hands.

He spoke in a very friendly manner, and when he reached the landing, he shook hands.

‘Are you obliged to go at once? Or could I have a word with you?’

‘Do you have to leave right away? Or can I talk to you for a minute?’

‘Come in.’

"Come on in."

They entered the study, which was in some disorder; Reardon made no reference to circumstances, but offered a chair, and seated himself.

They entered the study, which was a bit messy; Reardon didn’t mention anything about the situation, but offered a chair and sat down.

‘Have a cigarette?’ said Yule, holding out a box of them.

‘Do you want a cigarette?’ Yule asked, extending a pack towards him.

‘No, thank you; I don’t smoke so early.’

‘No, thanks; I don’t smoke this early.’

‘Then I’ll light one myself; it always makes talk easier to me. You’re on the point of moving, I suppose?’

‘Then I’ll light one myself; it always makes conversation easier for me. You’re about to leave, I assume?’

‘Yes, I am.’

"Yeah, I am."

Reardon tried to speak in quite a simple way, with no admission of embarrassment. He was not successful, and to his visitor the tone seemed rather offensive.

Reardon tried to keep his speech simple, without showing any embarrassment. He didn't succeed, and to his visitor, his tone came off as pretty offensive.

‘I suppose you’ll let Amy know your new address?’

‘I guess you’ll tell Amy your new address?’

‘Certainly. Why should I conceal it?’

‘Of course. Why would I hide it?’

‘No, no; I didn’t mean to suggest that. But you might be taking it for granted that—that the rupture was final, I thought.’

‘No, no; I didn’t mean to suggest that. But you might be assuming that—that the breakup was final, I thought.’

There had never been any intimacy between these two men. Reardon regarded his wife’s brother as rather snobbish and disagreeably selfish; John Yule looked upon the novelist as a prig, and now of late as a shuffling, untrustworthy fellow. It appeared to John that his brother-in-law was assuming a manner wholly unjustifiable, and he had a difficulty in behaving to him with courtesy. Reardon, on the other hand, felt injured by the turn his visitor’s remarks were taking, and began to resent the visit altogether.

There had never been any closeness between these two men. Reardon thought of his wife's brother as kind of snobbish and unpleasantly selfish; John Yule viewed the novelist as a goody-goody and lately as a shifty, unreliable guy. John felt that his brother-in-law was acting in a completely unjustifiable way, making it hard for him to be polite. Reardon, meanwhile, felt hurt by the direction his visitor's comments were going and started to dislike the visit altogether.

‘I take nothing for granted,’ he said coldly. ‘But I’m afraid nothing is to be gained by a discussion of our difficulties. The time for that is over.

‘I don’t take anything for granted,’ he said coldly. ‘But I’m afraid there’s no benefit in discussing our problems. That time has passed.’

‘I can’t quite see that. It seems to me that the time has just come.’

‘I can’t really see that. It feels like the time has just arrived.’

‘Please tell me, to begin with, do you come on Amy’s behalf?’

'Please tell me, to start, are you here on Amy's behalf?'

‘In a way, yes. She hasn’t sent me, but my mother and I are so astonished at what is happening that it was necessary for one or other of us to see you.’

‘In a way, yes. She hasn’t sent me, but my mom and I are so amazed by what’s going on that one of us had to come see you.’

‘I think it is all between Amy and myself.’

'I think it’s all between Amy and me.'

‘Difficulties between husband and wife are generally best left to the people themselves, I know. But the fact is, there are peculiar circumstances in the present case. It can’t be necessary for me to explain further.’

‘Issues between a husband and wife are usually best handled by the couple, I get that. But the truth is, there are unique circumstances in this situation. I shouldn't need to explain any more.’

Reardon could find no suitable words of reply. He understood what Yule referred to, and began to feel the full extent of his humiliation.

Reardon couldn't find the right words to respond. He understood what Yule meant and started to feel the depth of his humiliation.

‘You mean, of course—’ he began; but his tongue failed him.

‘You mean, of course—’ he started, but he couldn't find the words.

‘Well, we should really like to know how long it is proposed that Amy shall remain with her mother.’

‘Well, we’d really like to know how long Amy is expected to stay with her mother.’

John was perfectly self-possessed; it took much to disturb his equanimity. He smoked his cigarette, which was in an amber mouthpiece, and seemed to enjoy its flavour. Reardon found himself observing the perfection of the young man’s boots and trousers.

John was completely composed; it took a lot to shake his calm. He smoked his cigarette, which had an amber mouthpiece, and seemed to enjoy its taste. Reardon found himself noticing the perfection of the young man’s boots and pants.

‘That depends entirely on my wife herself;’ he replied mechanically.

‘That depends entirely on my wife;’ he replied automatically.

‘How so?’

'How come?'

‘I offer her the best home I can.’

‘I offer her the best home I can.’

Reardon felt himself a poor, pitiful creature, and hated the well-dressed man who made him feel so.

Reardon saw himself as a pathetic, miserable person and despised the well-dressed man who made him feel that way.

‘But really, Reardon,’ began the other, uncrossing and recrossing his legs, ‘do you tell me in seriousness that you expect Amy to live in such lodgings as you can afford on a pound a week?’

‘But really, Reardon,’ started the other, uncrossing and recrossing his legs, ‘do you seriously expect Amy to live in a place you can afford on a pound a week?’

‘I don’t. I said that I had offered her the best home I could. I know it’s impossible, of course.’

‘I don’t. I said that I had offered her the best home I could. I know it’s impossible, of course.’

Either he must speak thus, or break into senseless wrath. It was hard to hold back the angry words that were on his lips, but he succeeded, and he was glad he had done so.

Either he had to speak this way or explode in pointless anger. It was tough to hold back the angry words ready to come out, but he managed it, and he was glad he did.

‘Then it doesn’t depend on Amy,’ said John.

‘Then it doesn’t rely on Amy,’ said John.

‘I suppose not.’

"I guess not."

‘You see no reason, then, why she shouldn’t live as at present for an indefinite time?’

'So you don’t think there’s any reason she shouldn’t keep living like this for an unknown amount of time?'

To John, whose perspicacity was not remarkable, Reardon’s changed tone conveyed simply an impression of bland impudence. He eyed his brother-in-law rather haughtily.

To John, who wasn't particularly insightful, Reardon's change in tone just came off as a smug kind of arrogance. He looked at his brother-in-law with a sense of superiority.

‘I can only say,’ returned the other, who was become wearily indifferent, ‘that as soon as I can afford a decent home I shall give my wife the opportunity of returning to me.’

‘I can only say,’ responded the other, who had grown tired and indifferent, ‘that as soon as I can afford a decent home, I will give my wife the chance to come back to me.’

‘But, pray, when is that likely to be?’

‘But, please, when is that likely to be?’

John had passed the bounds; his manner was too frankly contemptuous.

John had crossed the line; his attitude was just too openly disrespectful.

‘I see no right you have to examine me in this fashion,’ Reardon exclaimed. ‘With Mrs Yule I should have done my best to be patient if she had asked these questions; but you are not justified in putting them, at all events not in this way.’

‘I see no reason for you to question me like this,’ Reardon exclaimed. ‘I would have tried my best to be patient with Mrs. Yule if she had asked these questions; but you have no right to ask them, at least not like this.’

‘I’m very sorry you speak like this, Reardon,’ said the other, with calm insolence. ‘It confirms unpleasant ideas, you know.’

"I’m really sorry you talk like that, Reardon," said the other, with a calm arrogance. "It reinforces some unpleasant thoughts, you know."

‘What do you mean?’

'What do you mean?'

‘Why, one can’t help thinking that you are rather too much at your ease under the circumstances. It isn’t exactly an everyday thing, you know, for a man’s wife to be sent back to her own people—’

‘Why, one can't help but think you're a bit too relaxed given the situation. It's not exactly a common occurrence for a man's wife to be sent back to her family—’

Reardon could not endure the sound of these words. He interrupted hotly.

Reardon couldn't stand hearing those words. He interrupted angrily.

‘I can’t discuss it with you. You are utterly unable to comprehend me and my position, utterly! It would be useless to defend myself. You must take whatever view seems to you the natural one.’

‘I can’t talk to you about it. You just can’t understand me and my situation, not at all! It would be pointless to try to defend myself. You have to see it however makes sense to you.’

John, having finished his cigarette, rose.

John, having finished his cigarette, got up.

‘The natural view is an uncommonly disagreeable one,’ he said. ‘However, I have no intention of quarrelling with you. I’ll only just say that, as I take a share in the expenses of my mother’s house, this question decidedly concerns me; and I’ll add that I think it ought to concern you a good deal more than it seems to.’

‘The view outside is really unpleasant,’ he said. ‘But I don't plan to argue with you. I just want to mention that, since I contribute to the expenses of my mother’s house, this issue definitely affects me; and I’ll also say that I believe it should concern you a lot more than it appears to.’

Reardon, ashamed already of his violence, paused upon these remarks.

Reardon, already feeling ashamed of his actions, paused at these comments.

‘It shall,’ he uttered at length, coldly. ‘You have put it clearly enough to me, and you shan’t have spoken in vain. Is there anything else you wish to say?’

‘It will,’ he said finally, coldly. ‘You’ve made it clear enough to me, and you won’t have spoken in vain. Is there anything else you want to say?’

‘Thank you; I think not.’

"Thanks; I don't think so."

They parted with distant civility, and Reardon closed the door behind his visitor.

They said goodbye politely and Reardon shut the door after his guest.

He knew that his character was seen through a distorting medium by Amy’s relatives, to some extent by Amy herself; but hitherto the reflection that this must always be the case when a man of his kind is judged by people of the world had strengthened him in defiance. An endeavour to explain himself would be maddeningly hopeless; even Amy did not understand aright the troubles through which his intellectual and moral nature was passing, and to speak of such experiences to Mrs Yule or to John would be equivalent to addressing them in alien tongues; he and they had no common criterion by reference to which he could make himself intelligible. The practical tone in which John had explained the opposing view of the situation made it impossible for him to proceed as he had purposed. Amy would never come to him in his poor lodgings; her mother, her brother, all her advisers would regard such a thing as out of the question. Very well; recognising this, he must also recognise his wife’s claim upon him for material support. It was not in his power to supply her with means sufficient to live upon, but what he could afford she should have.

He realized that Amy’s relatives, and to some extent Amy herself, viewed his character through a distorted lens. Until now, knowing this would always happen when someone like him was judged by worldly people had made him stronger in his defiance. Trying to explain himself would be maddeningly futile; even Amy didn’t fully grasp the struggles his intellectual and moral being was going through, and discussing such experiences with Mrs. Yule or John would be like speaking in a foreign language; he and they had no shared understanding that would allow him to be clear. The practical way John had laid out the opposing view of the situation made it impossible for him to move forward as he intended. Amy would never come to his humble lodgings; her mother, her brother, and all her advisors would consider that completely out of the question. Fine; acknowledging this, he also had to recognize his wife’s need for financial support. He couldn’t provide her with enough to live comfortably, but whatever he could afford, she would receive.

When he went out, it was with a different purpose from that of half an hour ago. After a short search in the direction of Edgware Road, he found a dealer in second-hand furniture, whom he requested to come as soon as possible to the flat on a matter of business. An hour later the man kept his appointment. Having brought him into the study, Reardon said:

When he went out, it was for a different reason than half an hour ago. After a brief search towards Edgware Road, he found a dealer in second-hand furniture and asked him to come over to the flat as soon as possible for some business. An hour later, the man showed up for his appointment. After bringing him into the study, Reardon said:

‘I wish to sell everything in this flat, with a few exceptions that I’ll point out to you’.

‘I want to sell everything in this apartment, with a few exceptions that I'll highlight for you.’

‘Very good, sir,’ was the reply. ‘Let’s have a look through the rooms.’

‘Sounds good, sir,’ was the response. ‘Let’s check out the rooms.’

That the price offered would be strictly a minimum Reardon knew well enough. The dealer was a rough and rather dirty fellow, with the distrustful glance which distinguishes his class. Men of Reardon’s type, when hapless enough to be forced into vulgar commerce, are doubly at a disadvantage; not only their ignorance, but their sensitiveness, makes them ready victims of even the least subtle man of business. To deal on equal terms with a person you must be able to assert with calm confidence that you are not to be cheated; Reardon was too well aware that he would certainly be cheated, and shrank scornfully from the higgling of the market. Moreover, he was in a half-frenzied state of mind, and cared for little but to be done with the hateful details of this process of ruin.

Reardon knew that the price offered was really just a minimum. The dealer was a rough and pretty dirty guy, with the suspicious look typical of his kind. People like Reardon, who are unfortunate enough to get caught up in low-level business, have it even harder; their lack of knowledge and sensitivity makes them easy targets for even the least skilled businessman. To negotiate equally, you need to confidently assert that you won't be cheated; Reardon was painfully aware that he would definitely be taken advantage of, and he scornfully recoiled from the bargaining process. On top of that, he was in a nearly frantic state of mind and wanted nothing more than to be done with the awful details of this process that was ruining him.

He pencilled a list of the articles he must retain for his own use; it would of course be cheaper to take a bare room than furnished lodgings, and every penny he could save was of importance to him. The chair-bedstead, with necessary linen and blankets, a table, two chairs, a looking-glass—strictly the indispensable things; no need to complete the list. Then there were a few valuable wedding-presents, which belonged rather to Amy than to him; these he would get packed and send to Westbourne Park.

He wrote down a list of the things he needed for himself; it would definitely be cheaper to get an empty room than furnished accommodations, and every penny he saved mattered to him. The bed-frame with the necessary sheets and blankets, a table, two chairs, a mirror—just the essentials; no need to add more to the list. Then there were a few valuable wedding gifts that belonged more to Amy than to him; he would have those packed and sent to Westbourne Park.

The dealer made his calculation, with many side-glances at the vendor.

The dealer made his calculation, frequently glancing at the vendor.

‘And what may you ask for the lot?’

‘And what may you ask for the whole thing?’

‘Please to make an offer.’

"Please make an offer."

‘Most of the things has had a good deal of wear—’

‘Most of the things have seen a lot of use—’

‘I know, I know. Just let me hear what you will give.’

‘I get it, I get it. Just tell me what you’re offering.’

‘Well, if you want a valuation, I say eighteen pound ten.’

‘Well, if you want an evaluation, I say eighteen pounds ten.’

It was more than Reardon had expected, though much less than a man who understood such affairs would have obtained.

It was more than Reardon had expected, but far less than what a man who understood such matters would have gotten.

‘That’s the most you can give?’

‘Is that all you can offer?’

‘Wouldn’t pay me to give a sixpence more. You see—’

‘Wouldn’t pay me to give a penny more. You see—’

He began to point out defects, but Reardon cut him short.

He started to point out flaws, but Reardon interrupted him.

‘Can you take them away at once?’

‘Can you take them away right now?’

‘At wunst? Would two o’clock do?’

‘Right away? Would two o’clock work?’

‘Yes, it would.’

"Yes, it would."

‘And might you want these other things takin’ anywheres?’

‘And do you want these other things taken anywhere?’

‘Yes, but not till to-morrow. They have to go to Islington. What would you do it for?’

‘Yes, but not until tomorrow. They have to go to Islington. What would you do it for?’

This bargain also was completed, and the dealer went his way. Thereupon Reardon set to work to dispose of his books; by half-past one he had sold them for a couple of guineas. At two came the cart that was to take away the furniture, and at four o’clock nothing remained in the flat save what had to be removed on the morrow.

This deal was done, and the dealer left. After that, Reardon got to work selling his books; by half-past one, he had sold them for a couple of guineas. At two, the cart arrived to pick up the furniture, and by four o’clock, nothing was left in the flat except what needed to be taken away the next day.

The next thing to be done was to go to Islington, forfeit a week’s rent for the two rooms he had taken, and find a single room at the lowest possible cost. On the way, he entered an eating-house and satisfied his hunger, for he had had nothing since breakfast. It took him a couple of hours to discover the ideal garret; it was found at length in a narrow little by-way running out of Upper Street. The rent was half-a-crown a week.

The next thing he needed to do was go to Islington, give up a week's rent for the two rooms he had taken, and find a single room at the lowest price possible. On the way, he stopped at a diner to grab some food, since he hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. It took him a couple of hours to find the perfect attic; he eventually discovered it in a narrow little side street off Upper Street. The rent was two-shillings and sixpence a week.

At seven o’clock he sat down in what once was called his study, and wrote the following letter:

At seven o’clock, he sat down in what used to be called his study and wrote the following letter:

‘Enclosed in this envelope you will find twenty pounds. I have been reminded that your relatives will be at the expense of your support; it seemed best to me to sell the furniture, and now I send you all the money I can spare at present. You will receive to-morrow a box containing several things I did not feel justified in selling. As soon as I begin to have my payment from Carter, half of it shall be sent to you every week. My address is: 5 Manville Street, Upper Street, Islington.—EDWIN REARDON.’

‘Enclosed in this envelope, you’ll find twenty pounds. I've been reminded that your relatives will cover your support; it seemed best to sell the furniture, and now I’m sending you all the money I can spare right now. Tomorrow, you'll receive a box with some things I felt I couldn't sell. Once I start getting my payment from Carter, I’ll send you half of it every week. My address is: 5 Manville Street, Upper Street, Islington.—EDWIN REARDON.’

He enclosed the money, in notes and gold, and addressed the envelope to his wife. She must receive it this very night, and he knew not how to ensure that save by delivering it himself. So he went to Westbourne Park by train, and walked to Mrs Yule’s house.

He put the money, in cash and gold, into an envelope and addressed it to his wife. She needed to get it tonight, and he didn’t know another way to guarantee that other than delivering it himself. So he took the train to Westbourne Park and walked to Mrs. Yule's house.

At this hour the family were probably at dinner; yes, the window of the dining-room showed lights within, whilst those of the drawing-room were in shadow. After a little hesitation he rang the servants’ bell. When the door opened, he handed his letter to the girl, and requested that it might be given to Mrs Reardon as soon as possible. With one more hasty glance at the window—Amy was perhaps enjoying her unwonted comfort—he walked quickly away.

At this time, the family was probably having dinner; yes, the dining room window showed lights inside, while the drawing room windows were dark. After a moment of hesitation, he rang the servants' bell. When the door opened, he handed his letter to the girl and asked her to deliver it to Mrs. Reardon as soon as possible. With one last quick look at the window—Amy was maybe enjoying her unusual comfort—he walked away quickly.

As he re-entered what had been his home, its bareness made his heart sink. An hour or two had sufficed for this devastation; nothing remained upon the uncarpeted floors but the needments he would carry with him into the wilderness, such few evidences of civilisation as the poorest cannot well dispense with. Anger, revolt, a sense of outraged love—all manner of confused passions had sustained him throughout this day of toil; now he had leisure to know how faint he was. He threw himself upon his chair-bedstead, and lay for more than an hour in torpor of body and mind.

As he walked back into what used to be his home, the emptiness made him feel really sad. In just a couple of hours, everything had been destroyed; all that was left on the bare floors were the essentials he would take with him into the wilderness, a few remnants of civilization that even the poorest people can't do without. Anger, rebellion, a deep sense of lost love—he had been driven by all sorts of mixed emotions throughout this long day; now he finally had the chance to realize how exhausted he was. He collapsed onto his chair-bed and lay there for over an hour, totally zoned out both physically and mentally.

But before he could sleep he must eat. Though it was cold, he could not exert himself to light a fire; there was some food still in the cupboard, and he consumed it in the fashion of a tired labourer, with the plate on his lap, using his fingers and a knife. What had he to do with delicacies?

But before he could sleep, he had to eat. Even though it was cold, he couldn't muster the energy to light a fire; there was some food left in the cupboard, and he ate it like a tired worker, with the plate on his lap, using his fingers and a knife. What did he have to do with fancy meals?

He felt utterly alone in the world. Unless it were Biffen, what mortal would give him kindly welcome under any roof? These stripped rooms were symbolical of his life; losing money, he had lost everything. ‘Be thankful that you exist, that these morsels of food are still granted you. Man has a right to nothing in this world that he cannot pay for. Did you imagine that love was an exception? Foolish idealist! Love is one of the first things to be frightened away by poverty. Go and live upon your twelve-and-sixpence a week, and on your memories of the past.’

He felt completely alone in the world. Unless it was Biffen, who would welcome him kindly under any roof? These bare rooms represented his life; losing money, he had lost everything. ‘Be thankful that you exist, that you still have these scraps of food. A person has a right to nothing in this world that they can’t pay for. Did you think love was an exception? Silly idealist! Love is one of the first things to be scared away by poverty. Go live on your twelve-and-sixpence a week, along with your memories of the past.’

In this room he had sat with Amy on their return from the wedding holiday. ‘Shall you always love me as you do now?’—‘For ever! for ever!’—‘Even if I disappointed you? If I failed?’—‘How could that affect my love?’ The voices seemed to be lingering still, in a sad, faint echo, so short a time it was since those words were uttered.

In this room, he had sat with Amy after they got back from their wedding trip. ‘Will you always love me like you do now?’—‘Forever! Forever!’—‘What if I let you down? What if I fail?’—‘How could that change my love?’ The voices seemed to still linger, a sad, faint echo, so little time had passed since those words were spoken.

His own fault. A man has no business to fail; least of all can he expect others to have time to look back upon him or pity him if he sink under the stress of conflict. Those behind will trample over his body; they can’t help it; they themselves are borne onwards by resistless pressure.

His own fault. A man shouldn’t fail; least of all should he expect others to take the time to look back or feel sorry for him if he collapses under the stress of struggle. Those behind will walk over him; they can’t help it; they’re being pushed forward by an unstoppable force.

He slept for a few hours, then lay watching the light of dawn as it revealed his desolation.

He slept for a few hours, then lay there watching the dawn light as it exposed his emptiness.

The morning’s post brought him a large heavy envelope, the aspect of which for a moment puzzled him. But he recognised the handwriting, and understood. The editor of The Wayside, in a pleasantly-written note, begged to return the paper on Pliny’s Letters which had recently been submitted to him; he was sorry it did not strike him as quite so interesting as the other contributions from Reardon’s pen.

The morning's mail delivered a large, heavy envelope that puzzled him for a moment. But he recognized the handwriting and understood. The editor of The Wayside, in a nicely written note, requested to return the paper on Pliny's Letters that had been recently submitted; he was sorry it didn't seem as interesting to him as the other pieces from Reardon's writing.

This was a trifle. For the first time he received a rejected piece of writing without distress; he even laughed at the artistic completeness of the situation. The money would have been welcome, but on that very account he might have known it would not come.

This was a small thing. For the first time, he got a rejected piece of writing without feeling upset; he even laughed at how perfectly ironic the situation was. The money would have been nice, but because of that, he probably should have realized it wouldn't come.

The cart that was to transfer his property to the room in Islington arrived about mid-day. By that time he had dismissed the last details of business in relation to the flat, and was free to go back to the obscure world whence he had risen. He felt that for two years and a half he had been a pretender. It was not natural to him to live in the manner of people who enjoy an assured income; he belonged to the class of casual wage-earners. Back to obscurity!

The cart that was supposed to move his stuff to the place in Islington arrived around noon. By then, he had wrapped up the last bits of business related to the apartment and was free to return to the unclear world he had come from. He felt that for two and a half years he had been pretending. It wasn’t natural for him to live like people who have a stable income; he belonged to the group of temporary wage earners. Back to obscurity!

Carrying a bag which contained a few things best kept in his own care, he went by train to King’s Cross, and thence walked up Pentonville Hill to Upper Street and his own little by-way. Manville Street was not unreasonably squalid; the house in which he had found a home was not alarming in its appearance, and the woman who kept it had an honest face. Amy would have shrunk in apprehension, but to one who had experience of London garrets this was a rather favourable specimen of its kind. The door closed more satisfactorily than poor Biffen’s, for instance, and there were not many of those knot-holes in the floor which gave admission to piercing little draughts; not a pane of the window was cracked, not one. A man might live here comfortably—could memory be destroyed.

Carrying a bag with a few things that were better off in his own care, he took the train to King’s Cross and then walked up Pentonville Hill to Upper Street and his own little side street. Manville Street wasn’t too shabby; the house where he had found a home didn’t look threatening, and the woman who ran it had a trustworthy face. Amy would have felt uneasy, but for someone used to London garrets, this was actually a pretty decent place. The door closed more firmly than poor Biffen’s, for example, and there weren’t many of those knot-holes in the floor that let in annoying drafts; not a single pane of the window was cracked, not one. A man could live here comfortably—if only he could forget the past.

‘There’s a letter come for you,’ said the landlady as she admitted him. ‘You’ll find it on your mantel.’

‘There's a letter for you,’ said the landlady as she let him in. ‘You'll find it on the mantel.’

He ascended hastily. The letter must be from Amy, as no one else knew his address. Yes, and its contents were these:

He rushed up. The letter had to be from Amy since no one else had his address. Yes, and it said this:

‘As you have really sold the furniture, I shall accept half this money that you send. I must buy clothing for myself and Willie. But the other ten pounds I shall return to you as soon as possible. As for your offer of half what you are to receive from Mr Carter, that seems to me ridiculous; in any case, I cannot take it. If you seriously abandon all further hope from literature, I think it is your duty to make every effort to obtain a position suitable to a man of your education.—AMY REARDON.’

‘Since you've actually sold the furniture, I’ll accept half of the money you send. I need to buy clothes for myself and Willie. But I’ll return the other ten pounds to you as soon as I can. Regarding your offer of half of what you’ll receive from Mr. Carter, that seems ridiculous to me; in any case, I can't accept it. If you truly give up all hope for a future in literature, I believe it’s your responsibility to do everything you can to find a job that suits a man of your education.—AMY REARDON.’

Doubtless Amy thought it was her duty to write in this way. Not a word of sympathy; he must understand that no one was to blame but himself; and that her hardships were equal to his own.

Doubtless, Amy believed it was her responsibility to write this way. Not a word of sympathy; he needed to realize that no one was to blame but himself; and that her struggles were just as tough as his.

In the bag he had brought with him there were writing materials. Standing at the mantelpiece, he forthwith penned a reply to this letter:

In the bag he had brought with him, there were writing supplies. Standing at the mantel, he quickly wrote a response to this letter:

‘The money is for your support, as far as it will go. If it comes back to me I shall send it again. If you refuse to make use of it, you will have the kindness to put it aside and consider it as belonging to Willie. The other money of which I spoke will be sent to you once a month. As our concerns are no longer between us alone, I must protect myself against anyone who would be likely to accuse me of not giving you what I could afford. For your advice I thank you, but remember that in withdrawing from me your affection you have lost all right to offer me counsel.’

‘The money is for your support, as much as it can provide. If it comes back to me, I'll send it again. If you choose not to use it, please set it aside and think of it as belonging to Willie. The other money I mentioned will be sent to you once a month. Since our matters are no longer just between us, I need to protect myself from anyone who might claim that I'm not giving you what I can afford. I appreciate your advice, but keep in mind that by pulling away your affection, you've given up the right to give me counsel.’

He went out and posted this at once.

He immediately went out and posted this.

By three o’clock the furniture of his room was arranged. He had not kept a carpet; that was luxury, and beyond his due. His score of volumes must rank upon the mantelpiece; his clothing must be kept in the trunk. Cups, plates, knives, forks, and spoons would lie in the little open cupboard, the lowest section of which was for his supply of coals. When everything was in order he drew water from a tap on the landing and washed himself; then, with his bag, went out to make purchases. A loaf of bread, butter, sugar, condensed milk; a remnant of tea he had brought with him. On returning, he lit as small a fire as possible, put on his kettle, and sat down to meditate.

By three o'clock, he had arranged the furniture in his room. He didn't have a carpet— that was a luxury he couldn't afford. His collection of books was lined up on the mantelpiece, and his clothes were stored in a trunk. Cups, plates, knives, forks, and spoons were kept in the small open cupboard, with the bottom section reserved for his coal supply. Once everything was in place, he filled a bowl with water from a tap on the landing and washed up; then, with his bag, he headed out to shop. He bought a loaf of bread, butter, sugar, condensed milk, and he still had some tea from before. Upon returning, he lit the smallest fire possible, set the kettle on, and sat down to think.

How familiar it all was to him! And not unpleasant, for it brought back the days when he had worked to such good purpose. It was like a restoration of youth.

How familiar it all felt to him! And not in a bad way, as it brought back the days when he had worked so effectively. It was like a revitalization of youth.

Of Amy he would not think. Knowing his bitter misery, she could write to him in cold, hard words, without a touch even of womanly feeling. If ever they were to meet again, the advance must be from her side. He had no more tenderness for her until she strove to revive it.

Of Amy, he wouldn’t think. Knowing how deeply he was suffering, she could write to him in cold, harsh words, without even a hint of feminine compassion. If they were ever to meet again, it would have to be her making the first move. He had no more feelings for her until she tried to bring them back.

Next morning he called at the hospital to see Carter. The secretary’s peculiar look and smile seemed to betray a knowledge of what had been going on since Sunday, and his first words confirmed this impression of Reardon’s.

Next morning, he stopped by the hospital to see Carter. The secretary’s strange look and smile seemed to reveal a knowledge of what had been happening since Sunday, and his first words confirmed Reardon’s impression.

‘You have removed, I hear?’

"Did you get removed?"

‘Yes; I had better give you my new address.’

‘Yes; I should give you my new address.’

Reardon’s tone was meant to signify that further remark on the subject would be unwelcome. Musingly, Carter made a note of the address.

Reardon’s tone indicated that any further comments on the topic would not be appreciated. Reflectively, Carter jotted down the address.

‘You still wish to go on with this affair?’

‘Do you still want to continue with this situation?’

‘Certainly.’

'For sure.'

‘Come and have some lunch with me, then, and afterwards we’ll go to the City Road and talk things over on the spot.’

‘Come and have lunch with me, then afterward we’ll go to City Road and discuss everything right there.’

The vivacious young man was not quite so genial as of wont, but he evidently strove to show that the renewal of their relations as employer and clerk would make no difference in the friendly intercourse which had since been established; the invitation to lunch evidently had this purpose.

The lively young man wasn't as cheerful as usual, but he clearly tried to show that resuming their roles as employer and clerk wouldn't change the friendly relationship they had developed since; inviting him to lunch seemed to have this aim.

‘I suppose,’ said Carter, when they were seated in a restaurant, ‘you wouldn’t object to anything better, if a chance turned up?’

‘I guess,’ said Carter, when they were seated in a restaurant, ‘you wouldn’t mind anything better, if an opportunity came up?’

‘I should take it, to be sure.’

‘I should take it, for sure.’

‘But you don’t want a job that would occupy all your time? You’re going on with writing, of course?’

‘But you don’t want a job that takes up all your time? You’re still writing, right?’

‘Not for the present, I think.’

"Not right now, I guess."

‘Then you would like me to keep a look-out? I haven’t anything in view—nothing whatever. But one hears of things sometimes.’

‘So, you want me to keep an eye out? I don’t have anything in sight—absolutely nothing. But sometimes, you hear about things.’

‘I should be obliged to you if you could help me to anything satisfactory.’

‘I would appreciate it if you could help me find something satisfactory.’

Having brought himself to this admission, Reardon felt more at ease. To what purpose should he keep up transparent pretences? It was manifestly his duty to earn as much money as he could, in whatever way. Let the man of letters be forgotten; he was seeking for remunerative employment, just as if he had never written a line.

Having accepted this reality, Reardon felt more relaxed. Why should he maintain false pretenses? It was clearly his responsibility to make as much money as possible, by any means necessary. Forget about the writer; he was looking for a paying job, as if he had never written anything at all.

Amy did not return the ten pounds, and did not write again. So, presumably, she would accept the moiety of his earnings; he was glad of it. After paying half-a-crown for rent, there would be left ten shillings. Something like three pounds that still remained to him he would not reckon; this must be for casualties.

Amy didn’t return the ten pounds and didn’t write again. So, presumably, she would accept half of his earnings; he was glad about it. After paying two shillings and six pence for rent, he would have ten shillings left. He wouldn’t count the around three pounds that he still had; that had to be for emergencies.

Half-a-sovereign was enough for his needs; in the old times he had counted it a competency which put his mind quite at rest.

Half a sovereign was enough for his needs; back in the day, he considered it a comfortable amount that put his mind at ease.

The day came, and he entered upon his duties in City Road. It needed but an hour or two, and all the intervening time was cancelled; he was back once more in the days of no reputation, a harmless clerk, a decent wage-earner.

The day arrived, and he started his job on City Road. It took just an hour or two, and all the time in between disappeared; he was back in the days when he had no reputation, just an ordinary clerk, a respectable wage earner.





CHAPTER XX. THE END OF WAITING

It was more than a fortnight after Reardon’s removal to Islington when Jasper Milvain heard for the first time of what had happened. He was coming down from the office of the Will-o’-the-Wisp one afternoon, after a talk with the editor concerning a paragraph in his last week’s causerie which had been complained of as libellous, and which would probably lead to the ‘case’ so much desired by everyone connected with the paper, when someone descending from a higher storey of the building overtook him and laid a hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw Whelpdale.

It was more than two weeks after Reardon moved to Islington when Jasper Milvain heard for the first time about what had happened. One afternoon, he was coming down from the office of the Will-o’-the-Wisp after discussing a paragraph in his last week’s article that had been criticized as libelous and would likely lead to the 'case' everyone associated with the paper was hoping for. As he walked, someone coming down from a higher floor of the building caught up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw Whelpdale.

‘What brings you on these premises?’ he asked, as they shook hands.

‘What brings you here?’ he asked, as they shook hands.

‘A man I know has just been made sub-editor of Chat, upstairs. He has half promised to let me do a column of answers to correspondents.’

‘A guy I know just became the sub-editor of Chat, upstairs. He’s kind of promised to let me write a column responding to readers.’

‘Cosmetics? Fashions? Cookery?’

"Makeup? Trends? Cooking?"

‘I’m not so versatile as all that, unfortunately. No, the general information column. “Will you be so good as to inform me, through the medium of your invaluable paper, what was the exact area devastated by the Great Fire of London?”—that kind of thing, you know. Hopburn—that’s the fellow’s name—tells me that his predecessor always called the paper Chat-moss, because of the frightful difficulty he had in filling it up each week. By-the-bye, what a capital column that is of yours in Will-o’-the-Wisp. I know nothing like it in English journalism; upon my word I don’t!’

"I'm not that versatile, unfortunately. No, I'm talking about the general information column. 'Could you please let me know, through your invaluable paper, what the exact area devastated by the Great Fire of London was?'—that sort of thing, you know. Hopburn—that's the guy's name—tells me that his predecessor always referred to the paper as Chat-moss because he had a terrible time filling it up each week. By the way, what a great column you have in Will-o’-the-Wisp. I haven't seen anything like it in English journalism; I truly haven't!"

‘Glad you like it. Some people are less fervent in their admiration.’

'I'm glad you like it. Some people aren't as enthusiastic in their praise.'

Jasper recounted the affair which had just been under discussion in the office.

Jasper talked about the issue that had just been discussed in the office.

‘It may cost a couple of thousands, but the advertisement is worth that, Patwin thinks. Barlow is delighted; he wouldn’t mind paying double the money to make those people a laughing-stock for a week or two.’

'It might cost a couple thousand, but the ad is worth it, Patwin thinks. Barlow is thrilled; he wouldn’t mind paying double to make those people a laughingstock for a week or two.'

They issued into the street, and walked on together; Milvain, with his keen eye and critical smile, unmistakably the modern young man who cultivates the art of success; his companion of a less pronounced type, but distinguished by a certain subtlety of countenance, a blending of the sentimental and the shrewd.

They stepped out onto the street and walked together; Milvain, with his sharp eye and critical smile, clearly the modern young man who masters the art of success; his companion of a less obvious type, but marked by a certain nuance in his expression, a mix of the sentimental and the clever.

‘Of course you know all about the Reardons?’ said Whelpdale.

‘Of course you know all about the Reardons?’ Whelpdale said.

‘Haven’t seen or heard of them lately. What is it?’

'Haven’t seen or heard from them lately. What’s going on?'

‘Then you don’t know that they have parted?’

‘So you don’t know that they’ve separated?’

‘Parted?’

‘Broken up?’

‘I only heard about it last night; Biffen told me. Reardon is doing clerk’s work at a hospital somewhere in the East-end, and his wife has gone to live at her mother’s house.’

‘I only found out about it last night; Biffen told me. Reardon is working as a clerk at a hospital somewhere in the East End, and his wife has moved in with her mother.’

‘Ho, ho!’ exclaimed Jasper, thoughtfully. ‘Then the crash has come. Of course I knew it must be impending. I’m sorry for Reardon.’

‘Wow!’ exclaimed Jasper, thoughtfully. ‘So, the crash has finally happened. I knew it was coming. I feel bad for Reardon.’

‘I’m sorry for his wife.’

"I'm sorry for his wife."

‘Trust you for thinking of women first, Whelpdale.’

‘Thanks for thinking of women first, Whelpdale.’

‘It’s in an honourable way, my dear fellow. I’m a slave to women, true, but all in an honourable way. After that last adventure of mine most men would be savage and cynical, wouldn’t they, now? I’m nothing of the kind. I think no worse of women—not a bit. I reverence them as much as ever. There must be a good deal of magnanimity in me, don’t you think?’

‘It’s in an honorable way, my dear friend. I'm a slave to women, it’s true, but all in an honorable manner. After that last adventure of mine, most men would be bitter and cynical, wouldn’t they? I’m nothing like that. I don’t think any less of women—not at all. I respect them just as much as ever. There must be a good deal of generosity in me, don’t you think?’

Jasper laughed unrestrainedly.

Jasper laughed freely.

‘But it’s the simple truth,’ pursued the other. ‘You should have seen the letter I wrote to that girl at Birmingham—all charity and forgiveness. I meant it, every word of it. I shouldn’t talk to everyone like this, you know; but it’s as well to show a friend one’s best qualities now and then.’

‘But it’s the simple truth,’ the other continued. ‘You should have seen the letter I wrote to that girl in Birmingham—all kindness and forgiveness. I meant it, every word. I shouldn’t talk like this to everyone, you know; but it’s good to show a friend your best qualities once in a while.’

‘Is Reardon still living at the old place?’

‘Is Reardon still living at the old place?’

‘No, no. They sold up everything and let the flat. He’s in lodgings somewhere or other. I’m not quite intimate enough with him to go and see him under the circumstances. But I’m surprised you know nothing about it.’

‘No, no. They sold everything and rented out the flat. He’s staying in a place somewhere. I’m not close enough with him to go see him in this situation. But I’m surprised you don’t know anything about it.’

‘I haven’t seen much of them this year. Reardon—well, I’m afraid he hasn’t very much of the virtue you claim for yourself. It rather annoys him to see me going ahead.’

‘I haven’t seen much of them this year. Reardon—well, I’m afraid he doesn’t really have the virtue you attribute to yourself. It kind of annoys him to see me moving forward.’

‘Really? His character never struck me in that way.’

‘Really? I never thought of his character like that.’

‘You haven’t come enough in contact with him. At all events, I can’t explain his change of manner in any other way. But I’m sorry for him; I am, indeed. At a hospital? I suppose Carter has given him the old job again?’

‘You haven't interacted with him enough. Anyway, I can't explain his change in behavior any other way. But I feel bad for him; I really do. At a hospital? I guess Carter has given him his old job back?’

‘Don’t know. Biffen doesn’t talk very freely about it; there’s a good deal of delicacy in Biffen, you know. A thoroughly good-hearted fellow. And so is Reardon, I believe, though no doubt he has his weaknesses.’

‘Not sure. Biffen doesn’t really open up about it; he’s quite sensitive, you know. A genuinely kind guy. And I think Reardon is too, although he definitely has his flaws.’

‘Oh, an excellent fellow! But weakness isn’t the word. Why, I foresaw all this from the very beginning. The first hour’s talk I ever had with him was enough to convince me that he’d never hold his own. But he really believed that the future was clear before him; he imagined he’d go on getting more and more for his books. An extraordinary thing that that girl had such faith in him!’

‘Oh, what a great guy! But weak isn’t the right term. I saw all of this coming from the start. The very first conversation I had with him convinced me that he wouldn’t be able to stand up for himself. But he truly believed that his future was bright; he thought he would keep making more and more money from his books. It’s remarkable that that girl had so much faith in him!’

They parted soon after this, and Milvain went homeward, musing upon what he had heard. It was his purpose to spend the whole evening on some work which pressed for completion, but he found an unusual difficulty in settling to it. About eight o’clock he gave up the effort, arrayed himself in the costume of black and white, and journeyed to Westbourne Park, where his destination was the house of Mrs Edmund Yule. Of the servant who opened to him he inquired if Mrs Yule was at home, and received an answer in the affirmative.

They separated soon after that, and Milvain headed home, thinking about what he had heard. He intended to spend the entire evening on some work that needed to be finished, but he struggled to focus on it. Around eight o’clock, he abandoned the attempt, dressed in his black and white outfit, and set off for Westbourne Park, where he was going to Mrs. Edmund Yule’s house. He asked the servant who answered the door if Mrs. Yule was home and got a yes.

‘Any company with her?’

"Is anyone with her?"

‘A lady—Mrs Carter.’

"Mrs. Carter."

‘Then please to give my name, and ask if Mrs Yule can see me.’

‘Then please give my name and ask if Mrs. Yule can see me.’

He was speedily conducted to the drawing-room, where he found the lady of the house, her son, and Mrs Carter. For Mrs Reardon his eye sought in vain.

He was quickly taken to the living room, where he found the lady of the house, her son, and Mrs. Carter. He looked for Mrs. Reardon but couldn't find her.

‘I’m so glad you have come,’ said Mrs Yule, in a confidential tone. ‘I have been wishing to see you. Of course, you know of our sad trouble?’

‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ said Mrs. Yule in a friendly tone. ‘I’ve been wanting to see you. Of course, you know about our unfortunate situation?’

‘I have heard of it only to-day.’

‘I just heard about it today.’

‘From Mr Reardon himself?’

'Is this from Mr. Reardon?'

‘No; I haven’t seen him.’

'No; I haven't seen him.'

‘I do wish you had! We should have been so anxious to know how he impressed you.’

‘I really wish you had! We would have been so eager to know how he impressed you.’

‘How he impressed me?’

‘How did he impress me?’

‘My mother has got hold of the notion,’ put in John Yule, ‘that he’s not exactly compos mentis. I’ll admit that he went on in a queer sort of way the last time I saw him.’

‘My mom has gotten the idea,’ John Yule interjected, ‘that he’s not exactly all there. I’ll admit that he was acting pretty weird the last time I saw him.’

‘And my husband thinks he is rather strange,’ remarked Mrs Carter.

‘And my husband thinks he’s a bit odd,’ said Mrs. Carter.

‘He has gone back to the hospital, I understand—’

'He has gone back to the hospital, I hear—'

‘To a new branch that has just been opened in the City Road,’ replied Mrs Yule. ‘And he’s living in a dreadful place—one of the most shocking alleys in the worst part of Islington. I should have gone to see him, but I really feel afraid; they give me such an account of the place. And everyone agrees that he has such a very wild look, and speaks so strangely.’

‘To a new branch that just opened on City Road,’ Mrs. Yule replied. ‘And he’s living in a terrible place—one of the most shocking alleys in the worst part of Islington. I should have gone to see him, but I honestly feel scared; they give me such a description of the place. And everyone agrees that he has a very wild look and talks in such an odd way.’

‘Between ourselves,’ said John, ‘there’s no use in exaggerating. He’s living in a vile hole, that’s true, and Carter says he looks miserably ill, but of course he may be as sane as we are.

‘Between us,’ said John, ‘there’s no point in exaggerating. He’s living in a terrible place, that’s true, and Carter says he looks really sick, but he could be just as sane as we are.’

Jasper listened to all this with no small astonishment.

Jasper listened to all of this with great surprise.

‘And Mrs Reardon?’ he asked.

‘And Mrs. Reardon?’ he asked.

‘I’m sorry to say she is far from well,’ replied Mrs Yule. ‘To-day she has been obliged to keep her room. You can imagine what a shock it has been to her. It came with such extraordinary suddenness. Without a word of warning, her husband announced that he had taken a clerkship and was going to remove immediately to the East-end. Fancy! And this when he had already arranged, as you know, to go to the South Coast and write his next book under the influences of the sea air. He was anything but well; we all knew that, and we had all joined in advising him to spend the summer at the seaside. It seemed better that he should go alone; Mrs Reardon would, of course, have gone down for a few days now and then. And at a moment’s notice everything is changed, and in such a dreadful way! I cannot believe that this is the behaviour of a sane man!’

“I’m sorry to say she’s not doing well,” Mrs. Yule replied. “Today she had to stay in her room. You can imagine how shocking this has been for her. It happened so suddenly. Without any warning, her husband just announced that he took a job and was moving to the East End right away. Can you believe it? And this was after he’d already planned to go to the South Coast to write his next book with the sea air as inspiration. He wasn’t well at all; we all knew that, and we advised him to spend the summer at the beach. It seemed best for him to go alone; Mrs. Reardon would have of course visited for a few days here and there. And in an instant, everything changes, and in such a horrible way! I can’t believe this is how a rational person acts!”

Jasper understood that an explanation of the matter might have been given in much more homely terms; it was natural that Mrs Yule should leave out of sight the sufficient, but ignoble, cause of her son-in-law’s behaviour.

Jasper realized that the situation could have been explained in much simpler language; it was natural for Mrs. Yule to ignore the adequate, but unflattering, reason for her son-in-law's actions.

‘You see in what a painful position we are placed,’ continued the euphemistic lady. ‘It is so terrible even to hint that Mr Reardon is not responsible for his actions, yet how are we to explain to our friends this extraordinary state of things?’

‘You see how difficult our situation is,’ the euphemistic lady continued. ‘It's so awful to even suggest that Mr. Reardon isn’t responsible for his actions, yet how are we supposed to explain this unusual situation to our friends?’

‘My husband is afraid Mr Reardon may fall seriously ill,’ said Mrs Carter. ‘And how dreadful! In such a place as that!’

‘My husband is worried that Mr. Reardon might become seriously ill,’ said Mrs. Carter. ‘How awful! In a place like that!’

‘It would be so kind of you to go and see him, Mr Milvain,’ urged Mrs Yule. ‘We should be so glad to hear what you think.’

‘It would be really nice of you to go visit him, Mr. Milvain,’ Mrs. Yule urged. ‘We’d be glad to hear your thoughts.’

‘Certainly, I will go,’ replied Jasper. ‘Will you give me his address?’

‘Sure, I’ll go,’ replied Jasper. ‘Can you give me his address?’

He remained for an hour, and before his departure the subject was discussed with rather more frankness than at first; even the word ‘money’ was once or twice heard.

He stayed for an hour, and before he left, the topic was talked about with a bit more honesty than at the beginning; even the word 'money' was heard once or twice.

‘Mr Carter has very kindly promised,’ said Mrs Yule, ‘to do his best to hear of some position that would be suitable. It seems a most shocking thing that a successful author should abandon his career in this deliberate way; who could have imagined anything of the kind two years ago? But it is clearly quite impossible for him to go on as at present—if there is really no reason for believing his mind disordered.’

“Mr. Carter has graciously promised,” Mrs. Yule said, “to do his best to find a suitable position. It seems unbelievable that a successful author would choose to abandon his career like this; who would have thought such a thing two years ago? But it’s obviously impossible for him to continue as he is—unless there’s a genuine reason to think his mind isn't right.”

A cab was summoned for Mrs Carter, and she took her leave, suppressing her native cheerfulness to the tone of the occasion. A minute or two after, Milvain left the house.

A cab was called for Mrs. Carter, and she said her goodbyes, holding back her usual cheerfulness to match the mood. A minute or two later, Milvain left the house.

He had walked perhaps twenty yards, almost to the end of the silent street in which his friends’ house was situated, when a man came round the corner and approached him. At once he recognised the figure, and in a moment he was face to face with Reardon. Both stopped. Jasper held out his hand, but the other did not seem to notice it.

He had walked maybe twenty yards, almost to the end of the quiet street where his friend’s house was located, when a man turned the corner and came toward him. He immediately recognized the figure, and in no time, he was face to face with Reardon. They both stopped. Jasper extended his hand, but the other man didn’t seem to notice it.

‘You are coming from Mrs Yule’s?’ said Reardon, with a strange smile.

‘You’re coming from Mrs. Yule’s?’ Reardon said, with a peculiar smile.

By the gaslight his face showed pale and sunken, and he met Jasper’s look with fixedness.

By the gaslight, his face looked pale and hollow, and he held Jasper’s gaze steadily.

‘Yes, I am. The fact is, I went there to hear of your address. Why haven’t you let me know about all this?’

‘Yes, I am. The truth is, I went there to find out your address. Why didn't you tell me about all this?’

‘You went to the flat?’

"Did you go to the apartment?"

‘No, I was told about you by Whelpdale.’

‘No, Whelpdale told me about you.’

Reardon turned in the direction whence he had come, and began to walk slowly; Jasper kept beside him.

Reardon turned back the way he had come and started to walk slowly; Jasper stayed next to him.

‘I’m afraid there’s something amiss between us, Reardon,’ said the latter, just glancing at his companion.

‘I’m afraid something’s off between us, Reardon,’ said the latter, just glancing at his companion.

‘There’s something amiss between me and everyone,’ was the reply, in an unnatural voice.

'There's something off between me and everyone,' was the response, in a strange voice.

‘You look at things too gloomily. Am I detaining you, by-the-bye? You were going—’

‘You’re looking at things too negatively. Am I holding you up, by the way? You were leaving—’

‘Nowhere.’

“Nowhere.”

‘Then come to my rooms, and let us see if we can’t talk more in the old way.’

‘Then come to my place, and let’s see if we can’t chat like we used to.’

‘Your old way of talk isn’t much to my taste, Milvain. It has cost me too much.’

‘Your old way of speaking isn’t really my style, Milvain. It has cost me too much.’

Jasper gazed at him. Was there some foundation for Mrs Yule’s seeming extravagance? This reply sounded so meaningless, and so unlike Reardon’s manner of speech, that the younger man experienced a sudden alarm.

Jasper looked at him. Was there some reason behind Mrs. Yule’s apparent extravagance? This response felt so pointless and so out of character for Reardon that the younger man felt a sudden wave of anxiety.

‘Cost you too much? I don’t understand you.’

‘Cost you too much? I don’t get you.’

They had turned into a broader thoroughfare, which, however, was little frequented at this hour. Reardon, his hands thrust into the pockets of a shabby overcoat and his head bent forward, went on at a slow pace, observant of nothing. For a moment or two he delayed reply, then said in an unsteady voice:

They had moved onto a wider street, which was hardly busy at this time. Reardon, with his hands shoved into the pockets of a worn-out overcoat and his head tilted down, walked slowly, not really paying attention to anything. After a moment of hesitation, he finally responded in a shaky voice:

‘Your way of talking has always been to glorify success, to insist upon it as the one end a man ought to keep in view. If you had talked so to me alone, it wouldn’t have mattered. But there was generally someone else present. Your words had their effect; I can see that now. It’s very much owing to you that I am deserted, now that there’s no hope of my ever succeeding.’

‘The way you talk always focuses on glorifying success, insisting that it's the only goal a person should have. If you had just said that to me privately, it wouldn't have bothered me. But there was usually someone else around. Your words influenced me; I realize that now. It's largely because of you that I'm alone, especially since there's no chance I'll ever succeed.’

Jasper’s first impulse was to meet this accusation with indignant denial, but a sense of compassion prevailed. It was so painful to see the defeated man wandering at night near the house where his wife and child were comfortably sheltered; and the tone in which he spoke revealed such profound misery.

Jasper's first instinct was to respond to the accusation with angry denial, but he felt a wave of compassion instead. It was heartbreaking to see the defeated man roaming at night near the home where his wife and child were safe and warm; the way he spoke showed such deep sorrow.

‘That’s a most astonishing thing to say,’ Jasper replied. ‘Of course I know nothing of what has passed between you and your wife, but I feel certain that I have no more to do with what has happened than any other of your acquaintances.’

"That’s a really surprising thing to say," Jasper replied. "I don’t know anything about what’s happened between you and your wife, but I’m sure that I’m no more involved in what’s gone on than any of your other friends."

‘You may feel as certain as you will, but your words and your example have influenced my wife against me. You didn’t intend that; I don’t suppose it for a moment. It’s my misfortune, that’s all.’

‘You might feel completely sure, but what you said and how you acted have turned my wife against me. I know you didn’t mean to; I don’t doubt that for a second. It’s just my bad luck, that’s all.’

‘That I intended nothing of the kind, you need hardly say, I should think. But you are deceiving yourself in the strangest way. I’m afraid to speak plainly; I’m afraid of offending you. But can you recall something that I said about the time of your marriage? You didn’t like it then, and certainly it won’t be pleasant to you to remember it now. If you mean that your wife has grown unkind to you because you are unfortunate, there’s no need to examine into other people’s influence for an explanation of that.’

‘You hardly need to say that I didn't mean anything like that. But you're really fooling yourself in such a strange way. I hesitate to be direct because I'm worried about upsetting you. But do you remember what I said around the time of your wedding? You didn't like it back then, and I doubt it will be any easier for you to think about it now. If you're suggesting that your wife has become unkind to you because of your bad luck, there’s no need to look into other people's influence to explain it.’

Reardon turned his face towards the speaker.

Reardon faced the speaker.

‘Then you have always regarded my wife as a woman likely to fail me in time of need?’

‘So you've always seen my wife as someone who would let me down when I needed her most?’

‘I don’t care to answer a question put in that way. If we are no longer to talk with the old friendliness, it’s far better we shouldn’t discuss things such as this.’

‘I don’t want to answer a question phrased like that. If we can’t talk with the same friendliness as before, it’s better if we don’t discuss things like this at all.’

‘Well, practically you have answered. Of course I remember those words of yours that you refer to. Whether you were right or wrong doesn’t affect what I say.’

‘Well, you've pretty much answered that. Of course I remember those words you mentioned. Whether you were right or wrong doesn’t change what I’m saying.’

He spoke with a dull doggedness, as though mental fatigue did not allow him to say more.

He spoke with a dull persistence, as if mental exhaustion prevented him from saying more.

‘It’s impossible to argue against such a charge,’ said Milvain. ‘I am convinced it isn’t true, and that’s all I can answer. But perhaps you think this extraordinary influence of mine is still being used against you?’

‘It’s impossible to argue against such an accusation,’ said Milvain. ‘I truly believe it’s not true, and that’s all I can say. But maybe you think that my extraordinary influence is still being used against you?’

‘I know nothing about it,’ Reardon replied, in the same unmodulated voice.

‘I know nothing about it,’ Reardon replied, in the same flat tone.

‘Well, as I have told you, this was my first visit to Mrs Yule’s since your wife has been there, and I didn’t see her; she isn’t very well, and keeps her room. I’m glad it happened so—that I didn’t meet her. Henceforth I shall keep away from the family altogether, so long, at all events, as your wife remains with them. Of course I shan’t tell anyone why; that would be impossible. But you shan’t have to fear that I am decrying you. By Jove! an amiable figure you make of me!’

‘Well, as I mentioned, this was my first visit to Mrs. Yule’s since your wife has been there, and I didn’t see her; she isn’t feeling well and stays in her room. I'm glad it turned out this way—that I didn’t run into her. From now on, I’ll stay away from the family completely, at least as long as your wife is with them. Of course, I won’t tell anyone why; that would be impossible. But you don’t have to worry about me badmouthing you. Goodness! What a charming impression you give of me!’

‘I have said what I didn’t wish to say, and what I oughtn’t to have said. You must misunderstand me; I can’t help it.’

‘I’ve said what I didn’t mean to say and what I shouldn’t have said. You must be misunderstanding me; I can’t help it.’

Reardon had been walking for hours, and was, in truth, exhausted.

Reardon had been walking for hours and was, to be honest, exhausted.

He became mute. Jasper, whose misrepresentation was wilful, though not maliciously so, also fell into silence; he did not believe that his conversations with Amy had seriously affected the course of events, but he knew that he had often said things to her in private which would scarcely have fallen from his lips if her husband had been present—little depreciatory phrases, wrong rather in tone than in terms, which came of his irresistible desire to assume superiority whenever it was possible. He, too, was weak, but with quite another kind of weakness than Reardon’s. His was the weakness of vanity, which sometimes leads a man to commit treacheries of which he would believe himself incapable. Self-accused, he took refuge in the pretence of misconception, which again was a betrayal of littleness.

He became silent. Jasper, whose deception was intentional but not malicious, also fell quiet; he didn't think that his talks with Amy had really changed anything, but he knew he often said things to her in private that he wouldn’t have said if her husband had been around—little belittling comments, more wrong in tone than in content, stemming from his uncontrollable need to feel superior whenever he could. He, too, was weak, but in a different way than Reardon. His weakness was driven by vanity, which can sometimes lead a person to betray their own principles. Recognizing his faults, he sought comfort in pretending to misunderstand, which again revealed his smallness.

They drew near to Westbourne Park station.

They arrived at Westbourne Park station.

‘You are living a long way from here,’ Jasper said, coldly. ‘Are you going by train?’

‘You’re a long way from here,’ Jasper said coldly. ‘Are you taking the train?’

‘No. You said my wife was ill?’

‘No. You said my wife was sick?’

‘Oh, not ill. At least, I didn’t understand that it was anything serious. Why don’t you walk back to the house?’

‘Oh, not sick. At least, I didn’t think it was anything serious. Why don’t you walk back to the house?’

‘I must judge of my own affairs.’

‘I have to assess my own situation.’

‘True; I beg your pardon. I take the train here, so I’ll say good-night.’

‘True; I’m sorry. I take the train here, so I’ll say goodnight.’

They nodded to each other, but did not shake hands.

They nodded at each other, but didn’t shake hands.

A day or two later, Milvain wrote to Mrs Yule, and told her that he had seen Reardon; he did not describe the circumstances under which the interview had taken place, but gave it as his opinion that Reardon was in a state of nervous illness, and made by suffering quite unlike himself. That he might be on the way to positive mental disease seemed likely enough. ‘Unhappily, I myself can be of no use to him; he has not the same friendly feeling for me as he used to have. But it is very certain that those of his friends who have the power should exert themselves to raise him out of this fearful slough of despond. If he isn’t effectually helped, there’s no saying what may happen. One thing is certain, I think: he is past helping himself. Sane literary work cannot be expected from him. It seems a monstrous thing that so good a fellow, and one with such excellent brains too, should perish by the way when influential people would have no difficulty in restoring him to health and usefulness.’

A day or two later, Milvain wrote to Mrs. Yule and told her that he had seen Reardon. He didn’t go into details about their meeting but mentioned that Reardon seemed to be suffering from a nervous breakdown, acting very unlike himself. It was quite possible that he was heading towards serious mental illness. “Unfortunately, I can’t be of any help to him; he doesn’t feel the same friendship for me as he once did. But it’s clear that those friends of his who can help should really try to pull him out of this deep depression. If he doesn’t get effective support, who knows what could happen? One thing is for sure: he can’t help himself anymore. We can’t expect sane literary work from him. It seems outrageous that such a good guy, with such a sharp mind, could fall apart when influential people could easily help him get back on his feet and be useful again.”

All the months of summer went by. Jasper kept his word, and never visited Mrs Yule’s house; but once in July he met that lady at the Carters’, and heard then, what he knew from other sources, that the position of things was unchanged. In August, Mrs Yule spent a fortnight at the seaside, and Amy accompanied her. Milvain and his sisters accepted an invitation to visit friends at Wattleborough, and were out of town about three weeks, the last ten days being passed in the Isle of Wight; it was an extravagant holiday, but Dora had been ailing, and her brother declared that they would all work better for the change. Alfred Yule, with his wife and daughter, rusticated somewhere in Kent. Dora and Marian exchanged letters, and here is a passage from one written by the former:

All the summer months flew by. Jasper kept his promise and never went to Mrs. Yule’s house; but once in July, he ran into her at the Carters', and learned, as he already knew from other sources, that things hadn’t changed. In August, Mrs. Yule spent two weeks at the beach, with Amy joining her. Milvain and his sisters accepted an invitation to visit friends in Wattleborough, and they were out of town for about three weeks, spending the last ten days in the Isle of Wight; it was a lavish vacation, but Dora had been unwell, and her brother insisted that they would all feel more productive after the break. Alfred Yule, along with his wife and daughter, spent time somewhere in Kent. Dora and Marian exchanged letters, and here’s a section from one written by the former:

‘Jasper has shown himself in an unusually amiable light since we left town. I looked forward to this holiday with some misgivings, as I know by experience that it doesn’t do for him and us to be too much together; he gets tired of our company, and then his selfishness—believe me, he has a good deal of it—comes out in a way we don’t appreciate. But I have never known him so forbearing. To me he is particularly kind, on account of my headaches and general shakiness. It isn’t impossible that this young man, if all goes well with him, may turn out far better than Maud and I ever expected. But things will have to go very well, if the improvement is to be permanent. I only hope he may make a lot of money before long. If this sounds rather gross to you, I can only say that Jasper’s moral nature will never be safe as long as he is exposed to the risks of poverty. There are such people, you know. As a poor man, I wouldn’t trust him out of my sight; with money, he will be a tolerable creature—as men go.’

‘Jasper has been unusually pleasant since we left town. I was a bit anxious about this holiday, knowing from experience that it's not great for him and us to be too close for too long; he gets tired of us, and then his selfishness—believe me, he has quite a bit of it—shows in ways we find frustrating. But I’ve never seen him so patient. He’s especially kind to me, probably because of my headaches and general unease. It’s possible that this young man, if things go well for him, might turn out much better than Maud and I ever expected. But things have to go really well for the change to stick. I just hope he makes a lot of money soon. If that sounds a bit blunt, I can only say that Jasper's moral character will never be secure as long as he faces the risks of being broke. You know there are people like that. As a poor man, I wouldn’t trust him out of my sight; with money, he might turn out to be an okay guy—as men go.’

Dora, no doubt, had her reasons for writing in this strain. She would not have made such remarks in conversation with her friend, but took the opportunity of being at a distance to communicate them in writing.

Dora definitely had her reasons for writing this way. She wouldn't have said anything like this in a conversation with her friend, but she took the chance to express her thoughts in writing while keeping some distance.

On their return, the two girls made good progress with the book they were manufacturing for Messrs Jolly and Monk, and early in October it was finished. Dora was now writing little things for The English Girl, and Maud had begun to review an occasional novel for an illustrated paper. In spite of their poor lodgings, they had been brought into social relations with Mrs Boston Wright and a few of her friends; their position was understood, and in accepting invitations they had no fear lest unwelcome people should pounce down upon them in their shabby little sitting-room. The younger sister cared little for society such as Jasper procured them; with Marian Yule for a companion she would have been quite content to spend her evenings at home. But Maud relished the introduction to strangers. She was admired, and knew it. Prudence could not restrain her from buying a handsomer dress than those she had brought from her country home, and it irked her sorely that she might not reconstruct all her equipment to rival the appearance of well-to-do girls whom she studied and envied. Her disadvantages, for the present, were insuperable. She had no one to chaperon her; she could not form intimacies because of her poverty. A rare invitation to luncheon, a permission to call at the sacred hour of small-talk—this was all she could hope for.

On their way back, the two girls made great progress with the book they were creating for Messrs Jolly and Monk, and by early October, it was finished. Dora was now writing small pieces for The English Girl, and Maud had started reviewing an occasional novel for an illustrated magazine. Despite their poor living conditions, they had connected with Mrs. Boston Wright and a few of her friends; their situation was understood, and they felt no anxiety about uninvited guests showing up in their tiny, shabby sitting room when accepting invitations. The younger sister wasn't very interested in the social events that Jasper arranged for them; if she had Marian Yule as a companion, she would have been perfectly happy spending her evenings at home. But Maud enjoyed meeting new people. She was admired and she knew it. Prudence couldn't stop her from buying a nicer dress than the ones she had brought from her family home, and it frustrated her greatly that she couldn’t completely update her wardrobe to match the appearance of the well-off girls she looked up to and envied. For now, her disadvantages were overwhelming. She had no one to accompany her; she couldn’t form close friendships because of her financial situation. A rare invitation to lunch or the chance to drop by during the sacred hour of small talk—this was all she could hope for.

‘I advise you to possess your soul in patience,’ Jasper said to her, as they talked one day on the sea-shore. ‘You are not to blame that you live without conventional protection, but it necessitates your being very careful. These people you are getting to know are not rigid about social observances, and they won’t exactly despise you for poverty; all the same, their charity mustn’t be tested too severely. Be very quiet for the present; let it be seen that you understand that your position isn’t quite regular—I mean, of course, do so in a modest and nice way. As soon as ever it’s possible, we’ll arrange for you to live with someone who will preserve appearances. All this is contemptible, of course; but we belong to a contemptible society, and can’t help ourselves. For Heaven’s sake, don’t spoil your chances by rashness; be content to wait a little, till some more money comes in.’

“I advise you to stay calm,” Jasper said to her as they talked one day on the beach. “You’re not at fault for living without typical protection, but it does mean you need to be very careful. The people you’re getting to know aren’t strict about social rules, and they won’t exactly look down on you for being poor; still, you shouldn’t push their kindness too far. Just lay low for now; show that you realize your situation isn’t quite normal—I mean, of course, do this in a modest and nice way. As soon as we can, we’ll set it up for you to live with someone who can help maintain appearances. It’s all ridiculous, of course; but we’re stuck in a ridiculous society and can’t change that. For Heaven’s sake, don’t ruin your chances by being reckless; just be patient until some more money comes in.”

Midway in October, about half-past eight one evening, Jasper received an unexpected visit from Dora. He was in his sitting-room, smoking and reading a novel.

Midway through October, around half-past eight one evening, Jasper got an unexpected visit from Dora. He was in his living room, smoking and reading a novel.

‘Anything wrong?’ he asked, as his sister entered.

‘Is something wrong?’ he asked as his sister walked in.

‘No; but I’m alone this evening, and I thought I would see if you were in.

‘No; but I’m by myself tonight, and I thought I’d check if you were around.

‘Where’s Maud, then?’

"Where's Maud at?"

‘She went to see the Lanes this afternoon, and Mrs Lane invited her to go to the Gaiety to-night; she said a friend whom she had invited couldn’t come, and the ticket would be wasted. Maud went back to dine with them. She’ll come home in a cab.’

‘She went to see the Lanes this afternoon, and Mrs. Lane invited her to go to the Gaiety tonight; she said a friend she had invited couldn’t come, and the ticket would go to waste. Maud went back to have dinner with them. She’ll come home in a cab.’

‘Why is Mrs Lane so affectionate all at once? Take your things off; I have nothing to do.’

‘Why is Mrs. Lane suddenly so affectionate? Take off your things; I have nothing going on.’

‘Miss Radway was going as well.’

"Miss Radway is going too."

‘Who’s Miss Radway?’

"Who's Miss Radway?"

‘Don’t you know her? She’s staying with the Lanes. Maud says she writes for The West End.’

‘Don’t you know her? She’s staying with the Lanes. Maud says she writes for The West End.’

‘And will that fellow Lane be with them?’

‘And will that guy Lane be with them?’

‘I think not.’

"I don't think so."

Jasper mused, contemplating the bowl of his pipe.

Jasper thought, looking at the bowl of his pipe.

‘I suppose she was in rare excitement?’

‘I guess she was really excited?’

‘Pretty well. She has wanted to go to the Gaiety for a long time. There’s no harm, is there?’

‘Pretty good. She’s wanted to go to the Gaiety for a long time. There’s no harm in that, right?’

Dora asked the question with that absent air which girls are wont to assume when they touch on doubtful subjects.

Dora asked the question with that distant look that girls often have when they bring up uncertain topics.

‘Harm, no. Idiocy and lively music, that’s all. It’s too late, or I’d have taken you, for the joke of the thing. Confound it! she ought to have better dresses.’

‘No harm, just foolishness and lively music, that’s all. It’s too late, or I would have taken you, just for the fun of it. Damn it! She should have better dresses.’

‘Oh, she looked very nice, in that best.’

‘Oh, she looked really nice in that outfit.’

‘Pooh! But I don’t care for her to be running about with the Lanes. Lane is too big a blackguard; it reflects upon his wife to a certain extent.’

‘Pooh! But I don’t like her hanging out with the Lanes. Lane is too much of a scoundrel; it makes his wife look bad to some degree.’

They gossiped for half an hour, then a tap at the door interrupted them; it was the landlady.

They chatted for half an hour, then a knock at the door interrupted them; it was the landlady.

‘Mr Whelpdale has called to see you, sir. I mentioned as Miss Milvain was here, so he said he wouldn’t come up unless you sent to ask him.’

‘Mr. Whelpdale came by to see you, sir. I mentioned that Miss Milvain was here, so he said he wouldn’t come upstairs unless you asked him to.’

Jasper smiled at Dora, and said in a low voice.

Jasper smiled at Dora and said in a quiet voice.

‘What do you say? Shall he come up? He can behave himself.’

‘What do you think? Should he come up? He can be good.’

‘Just as you please, Jasper.’

"Do as you wish, Jasper."

‘Ask him to come up, Mrs Thompson, please.’

‘Please ask him to come up, Mrs. Thompson.’

Mr Whelpdale presented himself. He entered with much more ceremony than when Milvain was alone; on his visage was a grave respectfulness, his step was light, his whole bearing expressed diffidence and pleasurable anticipation.

Mr. Whelpdale made his entrance. He walked in with more formality than when Milvain was by himself; his face showed a serious respect, his step was light, and his overall demeanor conveyed a sense of shyness and happy expectation.

‘My younger sister, Whelpdale,’ said Jasper, with subdued amusement.

‘My younger sister, Whelpdale,’ Jasper said, trying to hide his amusement.

The dealer in literary advice made a bow which did him no discredit, and began to speak in a low, reverential tone not at all disagreeable to the ear. His breeding, in truth, had been that of a gentleman, and it was only of late years that he had fallen into the hungry region of New Grub Street.

The literary advisor bowed respectfully, which reflected well on him, and started speaking in a soft, respectful tone that was quite pleasant to hear. Honestly, he had been raised as a gentleman, and it was only in recent years that he had found himself in the struggling area of New Grub Street.

‘How’s the “Manual” going off?’ Milvain inquired.

‘How’s the “Manual” coming along?’ Milvain asked.

‘Excellently! We have sold nearly six hundred.’

'Excellent! We've sold almost six hundred.'

‘My sister is one of your readers. I believe she has studied the book with much conscientiousness.’

‘My sister is one of your readers. I think she has studied the book very carefully.’

‘Really? You have really read it, Miss Milvain?’

‘Really? You’ve actually read it, Miss Milvain?’

Dora assured him that she had, and his delight knew no bounds.

Dora assured him that she had, and his joy was overwhelming.

‘It isn’t all rubbish, by any means,’ said Jasper, graciously. ‘In the chapter on writing for magazines, there are one or two very good hints. What a pity you can’t apply your own advice, Whelpdale!’

‘It’s not all garbage, for sure,’ Jasper said kindly. ‘In the chapter on writing for magazines, there are a couple of really good tips. What a shame you can’t follow your own advice, Whelpdale!’

‘Now that’s horribly unkind of you!’ protested the other. ‘You might have spared me this evening. But unfortunately it’s quite true, Miss Milvain. I point the way, but I haven’t been able to travel it myself. You mustn’t think I have never succeeded in getting things published; but I can’t keep it up as a profession.

‘Now that’s really unkind of you!’ the other person protested. ‘You could have let me off the hook this evening. But unfortunately it’s true, Miss Milvain. I show the path, but I haven’t been able to walk it myself. Don’t think I’ve never managed to get things published; it’s just that I can’t sustain it as a career.’

Your brother is the successful man. A marvellous facility! I envy him. Few men at present writing have such talent.’

Your brother is the successful one. What a remarkable gift! I am envious of him. Few writers today have such talent.

‘Please don’t make him more conceited than he naturally is,’ interposed Dora.

“Please don’t make him any more full of himself than he already is,” Dora said.

‘What news of Biffen?’ asked Jasper, presently.

‘What’s the news about Biffen?’ asked Jasper, after a moment.

‘He says he shall finish “Mr Bailey, Grocer,” in about a month. He read me one of the later chapters the other night. It’s really very fine; most remarkable writing, it seems to me. It will be scandalous if he can’t get it published; it will, indeed.’

‘He says he’ll finish “Mr Bailey, Grocer,” in about a month. He read me one of the later chapters the other night. It’s really very good; the writing is quite impressive, in my opinion. It would be a shame if he can’t get it published; it really would.’

‘I do hope he may!’ said Dora, laughing. ‘I have heard so much of “Mr Bailey,” that it will be a great disappointment if I am never to read it.’

‘I really hope he does!’ said Dora, laughing. ‘I've heard so much about “Mr. Bailey” that it would be a huge letdown if I never get to read it.’

‘I’m afraid it would give you very little pleasure,’ Whelpdale replied, hesitatingly. ‘The matter is so very gross.’

‘I’m afraid it wouldn’t give you much pleasure,’ Whelpdale replied, hesitantly. ‘The issue is just too crass.’

‘And the hero grocer!’ shouted Jasper, mirthfully. ‘Oh, but it’s quite decent; only rather depressing. The decently ignoble—or, the ignobly decent? Which is Biffen’s formula? I saw him a week ago, and he looked hungrier than ever.’

‘And the hero grocer!’ shouted Jasper, laughing. ‘Oh, but it’s pretty decent; just a bit depressing. The decently ignoble—or, the ignobly decent? Which one is Biffen’s formula? I saw him a week ago, and he looked hungrier than ever.’

‘Ah, but poor Reardon! I passed him at King’s Cross not long ago.

‘Ah, but poor Reardon! I saw him at King’s Cross not long ago.

He didn’t see me—walks with his eyes on the ground always—and I hadn’t the courage to stop him. He’s the ghost of his old self. He can’t live long.’

He didn’t see me—always walks with his eyes on the ground—and I didn’t have the guts to stop him. He’s just a shadow of his former self. He can’t live for much longer.

Dora and her brother exchanged a glance. It was a long time since Jasper had spoken to his sisters about the Reardons; nowadays he seldom heard either of husband or wife.

Dora and her brother exchanged a look. It had been a while since Jasper had talked to his sisters about the Reardons; these days, he rarely heard from either the husband or the wife.

The conversation that went on was so agreeable to Whelpdale, that he lost consciousness of time. It was past eleven o’clock when Jasper felt obliged to remind him.

The conversation was so enjoyable for Whelpdale that he completely lost track of time. It was after eleven o'clock when Jasper finally felt he had to remind him.

‘Dora, I think I must be taking you home.’

‘Dora, I think I need to take you home.’

The visitor at once made ready for departure, and his leave-taking was as respectful as his entrance had been. Though he might not say what he thought, there was very legible upon his countenance a hope that he would again be privileged to meet Miss Dora Milvain.

The visitor quickly got ready to leave, and his farewell was just as respectful as his arrival had been. Although he didn’t express his thoughts, it was clear from his expression that he hoped to have the chance to meet Miss Dora Milvain again.

‘Not a bad fellow, in his way,’ said Jasper, when Dora and he were alone again.

‘Not a bad guy, in his own way,’ said Jasper, when he and Dora were alone again.

‘Not at all.’

‘Not at all.’

She had heard the story of Whelpdale’s hapless wooing half a year ago, and her recollection of it explained the smile with which she spoke.

She had heard the story of Whelpdale's unfortunate attempts to win her over six months ago, and her memory of it showed in the smile she wore while speaking.

‘Never get on, I’m afraid,’ Jasper pursued. ‘He has his allowance of twenty pounds a year, and makes perhaps fifty or sixty more. If I were in his position, I should go in for some kind of regular business; he has people who could help him. Good-natured fellow; but what’s the use of that if you’ve no money?’

‘Never get on, I’m afraid,’ Jasper continued. ‘He has his allowance of twenty pounds a year and makes maybe fifty or sixty more. If I were in his shoes, I’d look for some regular job; he has people who could help him. Good-hearted guy; but what’s the point of that if you don’t have any money?’

They set out together, and walked to the girls’ lodgings. Dora was about to use her latch-key, but Jasper checked her. ‘No. There’s a light in the kitchen still; better knock, as we’re so late.’

They headed out together and walked to the girls' place. Dora was about to use her latchkey, but Jasper stopped her. "No. There's still a light on in the kitchen; it's better to knock since we're so late."

‘But why?’

‘But why?’

‘Never mind; do as I tell you.’

‘Never mind; just do what I say.’

The landlady admitted them, and Jasper spoke a word or two with her, explaining that he would wait until his elder sister’s return; the darkness of the second-floor windows had shown that Maud was not yet back.

The landlady let them in, and Jasper said a few words to her, explaining that he would wait for his older sister to return; the dark second-floor windows indicated that Maud was still not back.

‘What strange fancies you have!’ remarked Dora, when they were upstairs.

‘What strange ideas you have!’ said Dora, when they were upstairs.

‘So have people in general, unfortunately.’

‘So have people in general, unfortunately.’

A letter lay on the table. It was addressed to Maud, and Dora recognised the handwriting as that of a Wattleborough friend.

A letter was on the table. It was addressed to Maud, and Dora recognized the handwriting as that of a friend from Wattleborough.

‘There must be some news here,’ she said. ‘Mrs Haynes wouldn’t write unless she had something special to say.

‘There has to be some news here,’ she said. ‘Mrs. Haynes wouldn’t write unless she had something important to share.

Just upon midnight, a cab drew up before the house. Dora ran down to open the door to her sister, who came in with very bright eyes and more colour than usual on her cheeks.

Just after midnight, a cab pulled up in front of the house. Dora rushed downstairs to open the door for her sister, who entered with sparkling eyes and more color than usual on her cheeks.

‘How late for you to be here!’ she exclaimed, on entering the sitting-room and seeing Jasper.

‘How late it is for you to be here!’ she exclaimed, as she entered the living room and saw Jasper.

‘I shouldn’t have felt comfortable till I knew that you were back all right.’

‘I shouldn’t have felt at ease until I knew you were back safe.’

‘What fear was there?’

'What fear existed?'

She threw off her wraps, laughing.

She tossed aside her wraps, laughing.

‘Well, have you enjoyed yourself?’

"Did you have fun?"

‘Oh yes!’ she replied, carelessly. ‘This letter for me? What has Mrs Haynes got to say, I wonder?’

‘Oh yes!’ she replied casually. ‘This letter for me? I wonder what Mrs. Haynes has to say?’

She opened the envelope, and began to glance hurriedly over the sheet of paper. Then her face changed.

She opened the envelope and quickly glanced over the sheet of paper. Then her expression changed.

‘What do you think? Mr Yule is dead!’

‘What do you think? Mr. Yule is dead!’

Dora uttered an exclamation; Jasper displayed the keenest interest.

Dora exclaimed; Jasper showed the greatest interest.

‘He died yesterday—no, it would be the day before yesterday. He had a fit of some kind at a public meeting, was taken to the hospital because it was nearest, and died in a few hours. So that has come, at last! Now what’ll be the result of it, I wonder?’

‘He died yesterday—no, it was the day before yesterday. He had a seizure of some kind at a public meeting, was taken to the nearest hospital, and died a few hours later. So that’s finally happened! Now, I wonder what will come of it?’

‘When shall you be seeing Marian?’ asked her brother.

‘When are you going to see Marian?’ her brother asked.

‘She might come to-morrow evening.’

‘She might come tomorrow evening.’

‘But won’t she go to the funeral?’ suggested Dora.

‘But isn’t she going to the funeral?’ suggested Dora.

‘Perhaps; there’s no saying. I suppose her father will, at all events. The day before yesterday? Then the funeral will be on Saturday, I should think.’

‘Maybe; it’s hard to say. I guess her dad will, in any case. The day before yesterday? Then I suppose the funeral will be on Saturday, I would think.’

‘Ought I to write to Marian?’ asked Dora.

‘Should I write to Marian?’ asked Dora.

‘No; I wouldn’t,’ was Jasper’s reply. ‘Better wait till she lets you hear. That’s sure to be soon. She may have gone to Wattleborough this afternoon, or be going to-morrow morning.’

‘No; I wouldn’t,’ was Jasper’s reply. ‘It’s better to wait until she lets you know. That’ll probably be soon. She might have gone to Wattleborough this afternoon, or she could be going tomorrow morning.’

The letter from Mrs Haynes was passed from hand to hand. ‘Everybody feels sure,’ it said, ‘that a great deal of his money will be left for public purposes. The ground for the park being already purchased, he is sure to have made provision for carrying out his plans connected with it. But I hope your friends in London may benefit.’

The letter from Mrs. Haynes was circulated among everyone. ‘Everyone is certain,’ it stated, ‘that a significant portion of his money will be donated for public use. Since the land for the park has already been bought, he must have made arrangements to implement his plans related to it. But I hope your friends in London will gain from this.’

It was some time before Jasper could put an end to the speculative conversation and betake himself homewards. And even on getting back to his lodgings he was little disposed to go to bed. This event of John Yule’s death had been constantly in his mind, but there was always a fear that it might not happen for long enough; the sudden announcement excited him almost as much as if he were a relative of the deceased.

It took a while for Jasper to wrap up the speculative conversation and head home. Even when he got back to his place, he wasn't really in the mood to go to bed. The news of John Yule’s death was always on his mind, but he was also anxious that it might not last too long; the sudden news stirred him up almost as if he were related to the deceased.

‘Confound his public purposes!’ was the thought upon which he at length slept.

‘Curse his public purposes!’ was the thought on which he finally fell asleep.





CHAPTER XXI. MR YULE LEAVES TOWN

Since the domestic incidents connected with that unpleasant review in The Current, the relations between Alfred Yule and his daughter had suffered a permanent change, though not in a degree noticeable by any one but the two concerned. To all appearances, they worked together and conversed very much as they had been wont to do; but Marian was made to feel in many subtle ways that her father no longer had complete confidence in her, no longer took the same pleasure as formerly in the skill and conscientiousness of her work, and Yule on his side perceived too clearly that the girl was preoccupied with something other than her old wish to aid and satisfy him, that she had a new life of her own alien to, and in some respects irreconcilable with, the existence in which he desired to confirm her. There was no renewal of open disagreement, but their conversations frequently ended by tacit mutual consent, at a point which threatened divergence; and in Yule’s case every such warning was a cause of intense irritation. He feared to provoke Marian, and this fear was again a torture to his pride.

Since the domestic issues related to that unpleasant review in The Current, the relationship between Alfred Yule and his daughter had undergone a lasting change, though only they really noticed it. On the surface, they collaborated and talked much as they always had; however, Marian felt in many subtle ways that her father no longer fully trusted her, no longer enjoyed her work with the same enthusiasm as before. On Yule's side, he clearly sensed that Marian was preoccupied with something beyond her previous desire to support and please him, that she had developed a new life of her own that was different from, and in some ways incompatible with, the life he wanted for her. There was no outright disagreement, but their conversations often ended with a silent agreement to stop at a point that hinted at conflict, and for Yule, every such moment was a source of deep irritation. He feared upsetting Marian, and that fear tortured his pride.

Beyond the fact that his daughter was in constant communication with the Miss Milvains, he knew, and could discover, nothing of the terms on which she stood with the girls’ brother, and this ignorance was harder to bear than full assurance of a disagreeable fact would have been. That a man like Jasper Milvain, whose name was every now and then forced upon his notice as a rising periodicalist and a faithful henchman of the unspeakable Fadge—that a young fellow of such excellent prospects should seriously attach himself to a girl like Marian seemed to him highly improbable, save, indeed, for the one consideration, that Milvain, who assuredly had a very keen eye to chances, might regard the girl as a niece of old John Yule, and therefore worth holding in view until it was decided whether or not she would benefit by her uncle’s decease. Fixed in his antipathy to the young man, he would not allow himself to admit any but a base motive on Milvain’s side, if, indeed, Marian and Jasper were more to each other than slight acquaintances; and he persuaded himself that anxiety for the girl’s welfare was at least as strong a motive with him as mere prejudice against the ally of Fadge, and, it might be, the reviewer of ‘English Prose.’ Milvain was quite capable of playing fast and loose with a girl, and Marian, owing to the peculiar circumstances of her position, would easily be misled by the pretence of a clever speculator.

Beyond the fact that his daughter was in constant touch with the Miss Milvains, he knew nothing of the nature of her relationship with the girls’ brother, and this uncertainty was harder to bear than knowing an unpleasant truth would have been. That someone like Jasper Milvain, who occasionally came to his attention as a rising journalist and a loyal supporter of the unmentionable Fadge—should seriously pursue a girl like Marian seemed highly unlikely to him, except for the one possibility that Milvain, who certainly had a sharp eye for opportunities, might see Marian as the niece of old John Yule, and therefore worth keeping an eye on until it was clear whether or not she would gain from her uncle's passing. Firm in his dislike for the young man, he wouldn’t allow himself to believe anything but a selfish motive on Milvain’s part, if, in fact, Marian and Jasper were more than just casual acquaintances; and he convinced himself that his concern for the girl’s well-being was at least as strong a motive as his prejudice against Fadge’s ally, and possibly the critic of ‘English Prose.’ Milvain was definitely capable of toying with a girl’s feelings, and given the peculiar circumstances of her situation, Marian could easily be misled by the act of a clever opportunist.

That she had never spoken again about the review in The Current might receive several explanations. Perhaps she had not been able to convince herself either for or against Milvain’s authorship; perhaps she had reason to suspect that the young man was the author; perhaps she merely shrank from reviving a discussion in which she might betray what she desired to keep secret. This last was the truth. Finding that her father did not recur to the subject, Marian concluded that he had found himself to be misinformed. But Yule, though he heard the original rumour denied by people whom in other matters he would have trusted, would not lay aside the doubt that flattered his prejudices. If Milvain were not the writer of the review, he very well might have been; and what certainty could be arrived at in matters of literary gossip?

That she had never brought up the review in The Current again could have a few reasons. Maybe she couldn’t convince herself either way about Milvain’s authorship; maybe she suspected he was the author; or maybe she just didn’t want to bring up a discussion that might reveal what she wanted to keep private. The last reason is the actual truth. Noticing that her father didn’t mention it again, Marian assumed he realized he had been misinformed. However, Yule, despite hearing the original rumor denied by people he usually trusted, still clung to the doubt that fed his biases. If Milvain wasn’t the writer of the review, he could very well have been, and what certainty could anyone find in literary gossip?

There was an element of jealousy in the father’s feeling. If he did not love Marian with all the warmth of which a parent is capable, at least he had more affection for her than for any other person, and of this he became strongly aware now that the girl seemed to be turning from him. If he lost Marian, he would indeed be a lonely man, for he considered his wife of no account.

There was a touch of jealousy in the father's feelings. Even if he didn't love Marian with all the warmth a parent could have, he definitely cared for her more than anyone else, and he felt that more strongly now that the girl seemed to be distancing herself from him. If he lost Marian, he would truly be a lonely man, as he thought very little of his wife.

Intellectually again, he demanded an entire allegiance from his daughter; he could not bear to think that her zeal on his behalf was diminishing, that perhaps she was beginning to regard his work as futile and antiquated in comparison with that of the new generation. Yet this must needs be the result of frequent intercourse with such a man as Milvain. It seemed to him that he remarked it in her speech and manner, and at times he with difficulty restrained himself from a reproach or a sarcasm which would have led to trouble.

Intellectually, he expected complete loyalty from his daughter; he couldn't stand the thought that her enthusiasm for him was fading, that she might start seeing his work as pointless and outdated compared to that of the new generation. But this was bound to happen from spending so much time with someone like Milvain. He felt he saw this change in her speech and behavior, and at times he struggled to hold back a remark or a sarcastic comment that would have caused conflict.

Had he been in the habit of dealing harshly with Marian, as with her mother, of course his position would have been simpler. But he had always respected her, and he feared to lose that measure of respect with which she repaid him. Already he had suffered in her esteem, perhaps more than he liked to think, and the increasing embitterment of his temper kept him always in danger of the conflict he dreaded. Marian was not like her mother; she could not submit to tyrannous usage. Warned of that, he did his utmost to avoid an outbreak of discord, constantly hoping that he might come to understand his daughter’s position, and perhaps discover that his greatest fear was unfounded.

Had he been used to treating Marian harshly, like her mother, his situation would have been easier. But he had always respected her, and he was afraid of losing the respect she gave him in return. He had already suffered in her eyes, perhaps more than he cared to admit, and his growing frustration put him at constant risk of the conflict he feared. Marian wasn't like her mother; she couldn’t tolerate being treated tyrannically. Aware of this, he did everything he could to prevent any disagreements, always hoping to better understand his daughter’s perspective, and maybe find out that his biggest fear was groundless.

Twice in the course of the summer he inquired of his wife whether she knew anything about the Milvains. But Mrs Yule was not in Marian’s confidence.

Twice during the summer, he asked his wife if she knew anything about the Milvains. But Mrs. Yule was not in Marian's confidence.

‘I only know that she goes to see the young ladies, and that they do writing of some kind.’

‘I only know that she visits the young women, and that they do some sort of writing.’

‘She never even mentions their brother to you?’

‘She never even brings up their brother to you?’

‘Never. I haven’t heard his name from her since she told me the Miss Milvains weren’t coming here again.’

‘Never. I haven’t heard her mention his name since she told me the Miss Milvains weren’t coming here again.’

He was not sorry that Marian had taken the decision to keep her friends away from St Paul’s Crescent, for it saved him a recurring annoyance; but, on the other hand, if they had continued to come, he would not have been thus completely in the dark as to her intercourse with Jasper; scraps of information must now and then have been gathered by his wife from the girls’ talk.

He wasn’t upset that Marian chose to keep her friends away from St Paul’s Crescent, since it saved him from a constant annoyance; however, if they had kept visiting, he wouldn’t be completely in the dark about her interactions with Jasper. His wife must have picked up bits of information from the girls’ conversations now and then.

Throughout the month of July he suffered much from his wonted bilious attacks, and Mrs Yule had to endure a double share of his ill-temper, that which was naturally directed against her, and that of which Marian was the cause. In August things were slightly better; but with the return to labour came a renewal of Yule’s sullenness and savageness. Sundry pieces of ill-luck of a professional kind—warnings, as he too well understood, that it was growing more and more difficult for him to hold his own against the new writers—exasperated his quarrel with destiny. The gloom of a cold and stormy September was doubly wretched in that house on the far borders of Camden Town, but in October the sun reappeared and it seemed to mollify the literary man’s mood. Just when Mrs Yule and Marian began to hope that this long distemper must surely come to an end, there befell an incident which, at the best of times, would have occasioned misery, and which in the present juncture proved disastrous.

Throughout July, he struggled a lot with his usual bouts of bile, and Mrs. Yule had to put up with double the amount of his bad mood—both the irritation directed at her and that caused by Marian. August was a bit better, but as work resumed, Yule's sulkiness and aggression returned. Various professional setbacks—warnings that he understood all too well, indicating it was becoming increasingly tough for him to compete with the new writers—only fueled his conflict with fate. The dreariness of a cold and stormy September made life in that house at the edge of Camden Town even more miserable, but when October arrived, the sun came back and it seemed to lighten the literary man's spirits. Just as Mrs. Yule and Marian began to think that this long-lasting trouble must finally be coming to an end, an event occurred that, under any circumstances, would have caused distress, and in their current situation, turned out to be disastrous.

It was one morning about eleven. Yule was in his study; Marian was at the Museum; Mrs Yule had gone shopping. There came a sharp knock at the front door, and the servant, on opening, was confronted with a decently-dressed woman, who asked in a peremptory voice if Mrs Yule was at home.

It was one morning around eleven. Yule was in his office; Marian was at the Museum; Mrs. Yule had gone shopping. There was a loud knock at the front door, and the servant, upon opening it, found a well-dressed woman who asked in a demanding tone if Mrs. Yule was home.

‘No? Then is Mr Yule?’

'No? Then is Mr. Yule?'

‘Yes, mum, but I’m afraid he’s busy.’

'Yes, Mom, but I’m afraid he’s busy.'

‘I don’t care, I must see him. Say that Mrs Goby wants to see him at once.’

‘I don’t care; I need to see him. Tell him that Mrs. Goby wants to see him right away.’

The servant, not without apprehensions, delivered this message at the door of the study.

The servant, feeling a bit nervous, delivered this message at the door of the study.

‘Mrs Goby? Who is Mrs Goby?’ exclaimed the man of letters, irate at the disturbance.

‘Mrs. Goby? Who is Mrs. Goby?’ exclaimed the writer, annoyed by the interruption.

There sounded an answer out of the passage, for the visitor had followed close.

There was a response from the hallway, as the visitor had followed closely behind.

‘I am Mrs Goby, of the ‘Olloway Road, wife of Mr C. O. Goby, ‘aberdasher. I just want to speak to you, Mr Yule, if you please, seeing that Mrs Yule isn’t in.’

‘I am Mrs. Goby, of Olloway Road, wife of Mr. C. O. Goby, a haberdasher. I just want to speak to you, Mr. Yule, if you don't mind, since Mrs. Yule isn't here.’

Yule started up in fury, and stared at the woman, to whom the servant had reluctantly given place.

Yule jumped up in anger and glared at the woman to whom the servant had hesitantly made way.

‘What business can you have with me? If you wish to see Mrs Yule, come again when she is at home.’

‘What do you want from me? If you want to see Mrs. Yule, come back when she’s home.’

‘No, Mr Yule, I will not come again!’ cried the woman, red in the face. ‘I thought I might have had respectable treatment here, at all events; but I see you’re pretty much like your relations in the way of behaving to people, though you do wear better clothes, and—I s’pose—call yourself a gentleman. I won’t come again, and you shall just hear what I’ve got to say.

‘No, Mr. Yule, I won't come again!’ shouted the woman, her face bright red. ‘I thought I could expect decent treatment here, at least; but I see you’re just like your relatives in how you treat people, even if you wear nicer clothes and—I suppose—call yourself a gentleman. I won’t come back, and you’re going to hear what I have to say.’

She closed the door violently, and stood in an attitude of robust defiance.

She slammed the door and stood with a strong sense of defiance.

‘What’s all this about?’ asked the enraged author, overcoming an impulse to take Mrs Goby by the shoulders and throw her out—though he might have found some difficulty in achieving this feat. ‘Who are you? And why do you come here with your brawling?’

‘What’s all this about?’ asked the furious author, fighting the urge to grab Mrs. Goby by the shoulders and throw her out—even though he might have struggled to pull it off. ‘Who are you? And why are you here making all this noise?’

‘I’m the respectable wife of a respectable man—that’s who I am, Mr Yule, if you want to know. And I always thought Mrs Yule was the same, from the dealings we’ve had with her at the shop, though not knowing any more of her, it’s true, except that she lived in St Paul’s Crezzent. And so she may be respectable, though I can’t say as her husband behaves himself very much like what he pretends to be. But I can’t say as much for her relations in Perker Street, ‘Olloway, which I s’pose they’re your relations as well, at least by marriage. And if they think they’re going to insult me, and use their blackguard tongues—’

"I’m the respectable wife of a respectable man—that’s who I am, Mr. Yule, if you want to know. I always thought Mrs. Yule was the same, based on our interactions at the shop, although I don't know much more about her, other than that she lives in St Paul’s Crescent. So she may be respectable, but I can’t say her husband acts much like what he pretends to be. However, I can’t say the same for her relatives in Perker Street, Holloway, which I suppose are your relatives too, at least by marriage. If they think they can insult me and use their foul language—"

‘What are you talking about?’ shouted Yule, who was driven to frenzy by the mention of his wife’s humble family. ‘What have I to do with these people?’

‘What are you talking about?’ shouted Yule, who was driven to frenzy by the mention of his wife’s humble family. ‘What do I have to do with these people?’

‘What have you to do with them? I s’pose they’re your relations, ain’t they? And I s’pose the girl Annie Rudd is your niece, ain’t she? At least, she’s your wife’s niece, and that comes to the same thing, I’ve always understood, though I dare say a gentleman as has so many books about him can correct me if I’ve made a mistake.’

‘What do you have to do with them? I suppose they’re your relatives, right? And I guess that girl Annie Rudd is your niece, isn’t she? At least, she’s your wife’s niece, and that’s basically the same thing, as far as I’ve always understood, though I’m sure a gentleman with so many books around him can correct me if I’m wrong.’

She looked scornfully, though also with some surprise, round the volumed walls.

She looked at the walls with a mix of contempt and surprise.

‘And what of this girl? Will you have the goodness to say what your business is?’

‘And what about this girl? Could you please tell me what your business is?’

‘Yes, I will have the goodness! I s’pose you know very well that I took your niece Annie Rudd as a domestic servant’—she repeated this precise definition—‘as a domestic servant, because Mrs Yule ‘appened to ‘arst me if I knew of a place for a girl of that kind, as hadn’t been out before, but could be trusted to do her best to give satisfaction to a good mistress? I s’pose you know that?’

‘Yes, I will indeed take the opportunity! I suppose you know very well that I hired your niece Annie Rudd as a domestic worker’—she reiterated this exact definition—‘as a domestic worker, because Mrs. Yule happened to ask me if I knew of a position for a girl like that who hadn’t been employed before but could be trusted to do her best to satisfy a good employer? I suppose you are aware of that?’

‘I know nothing of the kind. What have I to do with servants?’

‘I know nothing about that. What do I have to do with servants?’

‘Well, whether you’ve much to do with them or little, that’s how it was. And nicely she’s paid me out, has your niece, Miss Rudd. Of all the trouble I ever had with a girl! And now when she’s run away back ‘ome, and when I take the trouble to go arfter her, I’m to be insulted and abused as never was! Oh, they’re a nice respectable family, those Rudds! Mrs Rudd—that’s Mrs Yule’s sister—what a nice, polite-spoken lady she is, to be sure? If I was to repeat the language—but there, I wouldn’t lower myself. And I’ve been a brute of a mistress; I ill-use my servants, and I don’t give ‘em enough to eat, and I pay ‘em worse than any woman in London! That’s what I’ve learnt about myself by going to Perker Street, ‘Olloway. And when I come here to ask Mrs Yule what she means by recommending such a creature, from such a ‘ome, I get insulted by her gentleman husband.’

‘Well, whether you have a lot to do with them or just a little, that’s how it is. And your niece, Miss Rudd, has certainly gotten her revenge on me. Of all the trouble I’ve ever had with a girl! And now that she’s run back home, when I take the trouble to go after her, I’m met with insults and abuse like never before! Oh, they’re such a respectable family, those Rudds! Mrs. Rudd—that’s Mrs. Yule’s sister—what a nice, polite lady she is, for sure? If I were to repeat the language—but I won't stoop that low. And I’ve been a terrible mistress; I’m hard on my servants, I don’t feed them enough, and I pay them worse than any woman in London! That's what I've learned about myself from going to Perker Street, Holloway. And when I come here to ask Mrs. Yule what she means by recommending someone like her, from such a home, I get insulted by her gentleman husband.’

Yule was livid with rage, but the extremity of his scorn withheld him from utterance of what he felt.

Yule was furious, but the intensity of his contempt kept him from expressing what he felt.

‘As I said, all this has nothing to do with me. I will let Mrs Yule know that you have called. I have no more time to spare.’

‘As I mentioned, all of this doesn’t involve me. I’ll let Mrs. Yule know that you called. I don’t have any more time to give.’

Mrs Goby repeated at still greater length the details of her grievance, but long before she had finished Yule was sitting again at his desk in ostentatious disregard of her. Finally, the exasperated woman flung open the door, railed in a loud voice along the passage, and left the house with an alarming crash.

Mrs. Goby went on and on about her complaints, but well before she was done, Yule was back at his desk, clearly ignoring her. Frustrated, the woman threw open the door, shouted loudly down the hallway, and stormed out of the house with a loud bang.

It was not long before Mrs Yule returned. Before taking off her things, she went down into the kitchen with certain purchases, and there she learnt from the servant what had happened during her absence. Fear and trembling possessed her—the sick, faint dread always excited by her husband’s wrath—but she felt obliged to go at once to the study. The scene that took place there was one of ignoble violence on Yule’s part, and, on that of his wife, of terrified self-accusation, changing at length to dolorous resentment of the harshness with which she was treated. When it was over, Yule took his hat and went out.

It wasn't long before Mrs. Yule came back. Before taking off her coat, she went down to the kitchen with some groceries, where she found out from the servant what had happened while she was gone. A sense of fear and anxiety gripped her—the sickening dread always triggered by her husband's anger—but she felt she had to go straight to the study. What happened there was a display of shameful aggression from Yule, and on his wife's part, terrified self-blame that eventually shifted to a heavy resentment over how harshly she was treated. When it was over, Yule put on his hat and left.

He did not return for the mid-day meal, and when Marian, late in the afternoon, came back from the Museum, he was still absent.

He didn’t come back for lunch, and when Marian returned from the Museum later in the afternoon, he was still gone.

Not finding her mother in the parlour, Marian called at the head of the kitchen stairs. The servant answered, saying that Mrs Yule was up in her bedroom, and that she didn’t seem well. Marian at once went up and knocked at the bedroom door. In a moment or two her mother came out, showing a face of tearful misery.

Not finding her mom in the living room, Marian called from the top of the kitchen stairs. The servant replied, saying that Mrs. Yule was in her bedroom and didn’t seem well. Marian went right up and knocked on the bedroom door. In a minute or two, her mother came out, revealing a tear-streaked face full of misery.

‘What is it, mother? What’s the matter?’

‘What’s wrong, Mom? What’s going on?’

They went into Marian’s room, where Mrs Yule gave free utterance to her lamentations.

They entered Marian's room, where Mrs. Yule openly expressed her grief.

‘I can’t put up with it, Marian! Your father is too hard with me. I was wrong, I dare say, and I might have known what would have come of it, but he couldn’t speak to me worse if I did him all the harm I could on purpose. It’s all about Annie, because I found a place for her at Mrs Goby’s in the ‘Olloway Road; and now Mrs Goby’s been here and seen your father, and told him she’s been insulted by the Rudds, because Annie went off home, and she went after her to make inquiries. And your father’s in such a passion about it as never was. That woman Mrs Goby rushed into the study when he was working; it was this morning, when I happened to be out. And she throws all the blame on me for recommending her such a girl. And I did it for the best, that I did! Annie promised me faithfully she’d behave well, and never give me trouble, and she seemed thankful to me, because she wasn’t happy at home. And now to think of her causing all this disturbance! I oughtn’t to have done such a thing without speaking about it to your father; but you know how afraid I am to say a word to him about those people. And my sister’s told me so often I ought to be ashamed of myself never helping her and her children; she thinks I could do such a lot if I only liked. And now that I did try to do something, see what comes of it!’

"I can’t take this anymore, Marian! Your dad is being really tough on me. I know I was wrong, and I probably should have seen this coming, but he couldn't talk to me worse if I were trying to harm him on purpose. It’s all because of Annie; I found her a spot at Mrs. Goby’s on the Holloway Road, and now Mrs. Goby came by and talked to your dad, saying she was insulted by the Rudds since Annie left home and she went after her to ask what happened. Your dad is absolutely furious about it. That woman, Mrs. Goby, burst into the study while he was working; it was this morning when I happened to be out. She’s putting all the blame on me for recommending her such a girl. And I did it for the right reasons, I really did! Annie promised me she’d behave and not give me any trouble, and she seemed grateful because she wasn't happy at home. And now to think she’s caused all this chaos! I shouldn’t have done this without talking to your dad first; but you know how scared I am to say anything to him about those people. And my sister keeps telling me I should be ashamed of myself for not helping her and her kids; she thinks I could do a lot if I wanted to. And now that I tried to do something, look what happened!"

Marian listened with a confusion of wretched feelings. But her sympathies were strongly with her mother; as well as she could understand the broken story, her father seemed to have no just cause for his pitiless rage, though such an occasion would be likely enough to bring out his worst faults.

Marian listened, feeling a mix of misery and confusion. But her heart was definitely with her mother; from what she could gather of the fragmented tale, her father didn’t have a good reason for his relentless anger, even though situations like this could easily trigger his worst traits.

‘Is he in the study?’ she asked.

‘Is he in the study?’ she asked.

‘No, he went out at twelve o’clock, and he’s never been back since. I feel as if I must do something; I can’t bear with it, Marian. He tells me I’m the curse of his life—yes, he said that. I oughtn’t to tell you, I know I oughtn’t; but it’s more than I can bear. I’ve always tried to do my best, but it gets harder and harder for me. But for me he’d never be in these bad tempers; it’s because he can’t look at me without getting angry. He says I’ve kept him back all through his life; but for me he might have been far better off than he is. It may be true; I’ve often enough thought it. But I can’t bear to have it told me like that, and to see it in his face every time he looks at me. I shall have to do something. He’d be glad if only I was out of his way.’

‘No, he left at twelve o'clock, and he hasn't come back since. I feel like I have to do something; I can't stand it, Marian. He tells me I'm the curse of his life—yes, he really said that. I shouldn’t tell you, I know I shouldn't; but it's more than I can handle. I've always tried to do my best, but it's getting harder and harder for me. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't be in these bad moods; it's because he can't look at me without getting angry. He says I’ve held him back his whole life; if it weren't for me, he might have been better off. It might be true; I’ve thought about it often enough. But I can’t stand hearing it like that and seeing it on his face every time he looks at me. I have to do something. He’d be happier if I were just out of his way.’

‘Father has no right to make you so unhappy,’ said Marian. ‘I can’t see that you did anything blameworthy; it seems to me that it was your duty to try and help Annie, and if it turned out unfortunately, that can’t be helped. You oughtn’t to think so much of what father says in his anger; I believe he hardly knows what he does say. Don’t take it so much to heart, mother.’

‘Dad has no right to make you so unhappy,’ said Marian. ‘I can’t see that you did anything wrong; it seems to me that it was your duty to try and help Annie, and if it didn’t work out, that can’t be changed. You shouldn’t take to heart so much of what Dad says when he’s angry; I don’t think he even knows what he’s saying. Don’t let it weigh on you so much, Mom.’

‘I’ve tried my best, Marian,’ sobbed the poor woman, who felt that even her child’s sympathy could not be perfect, owing to the distance put between them by Marian’s education and refined sensibilities. ‘I’ve always thought it wasn’t right to talk to you about such things, but he’s been too hard with me to-day.’

‘I’ve done everything I can, Marian,’ cried the poor woman, who felt that even her child’s sympathy couldn’t be complete, thanks to the gap created by Marian’s education and refined feelings. ‘I’ve always thought it wasn’t right to discuss these things with you, but he’s been really tough on me today.’

‘I think it was better you should tell me. It can’t go on like this; I feel that just as you do. I must tell father that he is making our lives a burden to us.’

‘I think it would be better if you told me. It can't continue like this; I feel the same way you do. I need to tell father that he is making our lives a burden.’

‘Oh, you mustn’t speak to him like that, Marian! I wouldn’t for anything make unkindness between you and your father; that would be the worst thing I’d done yet. I’d rather go away and work for my own living than make trouble between you and him.’

‘Oh, you shouldn’t talk to him like that, Marian! I wouldn’t want to cause any conflict between you and your father; that would be the worst thing I’ve done yet. I’d rather leave and earn my own living than create any issues between you two.’

‘It isn’t you who make trouble; it’s father. I ought to have spoken to him before this; I had no right to stand by and see how much you suffered from his ill-temper.’

‘It’s not you causing the problems; it’s Dad. I should have talked to him about this sooner; I had no right to just sit back and watch how much you were suffering from his bad moods.’

The longer they talked, the firmer grew Marian’s resolve to front her father’s tyrannous ill-humour, and in one way or another to change the intolerable state of things. She had been weak to hold her peace so long; at her age it was a simple duty to interfere when her mother was treated with such flagrant injustice. Her father’s behaviour was unworthy of a thinking man, and he must be made to feel that.

The longer they talked, the more determined Marian became to confront her father's tyrannical mood and find a way to change the unbearable situation. She realized it was weak of her to stay silent for so long; at her age, it was her duty to step in when her mother faced such blatant unfairness. Her father's behavior was unworthy of a rational person, and he needed to be made aware of that.

Yule did not return. Dinner was delayed for half an hour, then Marian declared that they would wait no longer. They two made a sorry meal, and afterwards went together into the sitting-room. At eight o’clock they heard the front door open, and Yule’s footstep in the passage. Marian rose.

Yule didn’t come back. Dinner was postponed for half an hour, then Marian announced that they wouldn’t wait any longer. The two of them had a disappointing meal, and afterwards went into the living room together. At eight o’clock, they heard the front door open and Yule’s footsteps in the hallway. Marian got up.

‘Don’t speak till to-morrow!’ whispered her mother, catching at the girl’s arm. ‘Let it be till to-morrow, Marian!’

‘Don’t talk until tomorrow!’ whispered her mother, grabbing the girl’s arm. ‘Let’s wait until tomorrow, Marian!’

‘I must speak! We can’t live in this terror.’

‘I have to speak! We can't keep living in this fear.’

She reached the study just as her father was closing the door behind him. Yule, seeing her enter, glared with bloodshot eyes; shame and sullen anger were blended on his countenance.

She arrived at the study just as her father was shutting the door behind him. Yule, noticing her come in, glared with bloodshot eyes; shame and sulky anger mixed on his face.

‘Will you tell me what is wrong, father?’ Marian asked, in a voice which betrayed her nervous suffering, yet indicated the resolve with which she had come.

‘Could you tell me what’s wrong, Dad?’ Marian asked, in a voice that revealed her anxious distress but also showed the determination with which she had approached him.

‘I am not at all disposed to talk of the matter,’ he replied, with the awkward rotundity of phrase which distinguished him in his worst humour. ‘For information you had better go to Mrs Goby—or a person of some such name—in Holloway Road. I have nothing more to do with it.’

‘I really don’t want to discuss this,’ he replied, in the clumsy way of speaking that annoyed him the most. ‘For information, you should ask Mrs. Goby—or someone with a similar name—on Holloway Road. I’m done with it.’

‘It was very unfortunate that the woman came and troubled you about such things. But I can’t see that mother was to blame; I don’t think you ought to be so angry with her.’

‘It was really unfortunate that the woman came and bothered you about those things. But I don’t think mother is to blame; you shouldn’t be so angry with her.’

It cost Marian a terrible effort to address her father in these terms. When he turned fiercely upon her, she shrank back and felt as if strength must fail her even to stand.

It took Marian a huge amount of effort to speak to her father like this. When he confronted her angrily, she recoiled and felt as if she might collapse just trying to stay on her feet.

‘You can’t see that she was to blame? Isn’t it entirely against my wish that she keeps up any intercourse with those low people? Am I to be exposed to insulting disturbance in my very study, because she chooses to introduce girls of bad character as servants to vulgar women?’

‘You can’t see that she’s at fault? Isn’t it completely against my wishes that she continues to associate with those lowlifes? Am I supposed to endure disrespectful interruptions in my own study because she decides to bring in girls of questionable character as servants to uncultured women?’

‘I don’t think Annie Rudd can be called a girl of bad character, and it was very natural that mother should try to do something for her. You have never actually forbidden her to see her relatives.’

‘I don’t think Annie Rudd can be considered a girl of bad character, and it was completely natural for mom to try to help her. You’ve never actually forbidden her from seeing her relatives.’

‘A thousand times I have given her to understand that I utterly disapproved of such association. She knew perfectly well that this girl was as likely as not to discredit her. If she had consulted me, I should at once have forbidden anything of the kind; she was aware of that. She kept it secret from me, knowing that it would excite my displeasure. I will not be drawn into such squalid affairs; I won’t have my name spoken in such connection. Your mother has only herself to blame if I am angry with her.’

‘I’ve made it clear a thousand times that I completely disapprove of that kind of association. She knew very well that this girl could easily bring her down. If she had asked me, I would have immediately forbidden it; she knew that. She kept it hidden from me, fully aware that it would upset me. I won’t get involved in such dirty matters; I refuse to have my name associated with them. Your mother has only herself to blame if I’m angry with her.’

‘Your anger goes beyond all bounds. At the very worst, mother behaved imprudently, and with a very good motive. It is cruel that you should make her suffer as she is doing.’

‘Your anger is out of control. At the worst, Mom acted thoughtlessly, and she had a really good reason for it. It's harsh for you to let her suffer like this.’

Marian was being strengthened to resist. Her blood grew hot; the sensation which once before had brought her to the verge of conflict with her father possessed her heart and brain.

Marian was getting stronger to resist. Her blood ran hot; the feeling that had once pushed her to the brink of conflict with her father filled her heart and mind.

‘You are not a suitable judge of my behaviour,’ replied Yule, severely.

‘You’re not a good judge of my behavior,’ Yule replied sharply.

‘I am driven to speak. We can’t go on living in this way, father. For months our home has been almost ceaselessly wretched, because of the ill-temper you are always in. Mother and I must defend ourselves; we can’t bear it any longer. You must surely feel how ridiculous it is to make such a thing as happened this morning the excuse for violent anger. How can I help judging your behaviour? When mother is brought to the point of saying that she would rather leave home and everything than endure her misery any longer, I should be wrong if I didn’t speak to you. Why are you so unkind? What serious cause has mother ever given you?’

‘I need to talk. We can’t keep living like this, Dad. For months, our home has been almost constantly miserable because of your bad mood. Mom and I have to stand up for ourselves; we can’t take it anymore. You must realize how silly it is to let something like what happened this morning provoke such intense anger. How can I not judge your behavior? When Mom reaches the point of saying she’d rather leave home and everything than continue feeling this way, I’d be wrong not to say something to you. Why are you so harsh? What serious reason has Mom ever given you?’

‘I refuse to argue such questions with you.’

‘I won’t argue about that with you.’

‘Then you are very unjust. I am not a child, and there’s nothing wrong in my asking you why home is made a place of misery, instead of being what home ought to be.’

‘Then you’re being really unfair. I’m not a kid, and there’s nothing wrong with me asking why home is a place of misery instead of what home is supposed to be.’

‘You prove that you are a child, in asking for explanations which ought to be clear enough to you.’

‘You show that you’re being immature by asking for explanations that should be obvious to you.’

‘You mean that mother is to blame for everything?’

'Are you saying that Mom is responsible for everything?'

‘The subject is no fit one to be discussed between a father and his daughter. If you cannot see the impropriety of it, be so good as to go away and reflect, and leave me to my occupations.’

‘This topic isn't appropriate for a conversation between a father and his daughter. If you can't see why that's inappropriate, please take some time to think it over and let me focus on my work.’

Marian came to a pause. But she knew that his rebuke was mere unworthy evasion; she saw that her father could not meet her look, and this perception of shame in him impelled her to finish what she had begun.

Marian stopped for a moment. But she realized that his criticism was just a cowardly dodge; she noticed that her father couldn't meet her gaze, and seeing his shame pushed her to complete what she had started.

‘I will say nothing of mother, then, but speak only for myself. I suffer too much from your unkindness; you ask too much endurance.’

‘I won't say anything about mother, then, but I’ll speak for myself. I’m suffering too much from your unkindness; you’re asking for too much patience.’

‘You mean that I exact too much work from you?’ asked her father, with a look which might have been directed to a recalcitrant clerk.

‘You mean that I demand too much work from you?’ her father asked, giving her a look that could have been aimed at a defiant employee.

‘No. But that you make the conditions of my work too hard. I live in constant fear of your anger.’

‘No. But you make the conditions of my work too difficult. I live in constant fear of your anger.’

‘Indeed? When did I last ill-use you, or threaten you?’

‘Really? When was the last time I mistreated you or threatened you?’

‘I often think that threats, or even ill-usage, would be easier to bear than an unchanging gloom which always seems on the point of breaking into violence.’

‘I often think that threats, or even mistreatment, would be easier to handle than a constant sadness that always seems ready to explode into violence.’

‘I am obliged to you for your criticism of my disposition and manner, but unhappily I am too old to reform. Life has made me what I am, and I should have thought that your knowledge of what my life has been would have gone far to excuse a lack of cheerfulness in me.’

‘I appreciate your feedback on my attitude and behavior, but unfortunately, I'm too set in my ways to change. Life has shaped me into who I am, and I would have thought that your understanding of my experiences would help you forgive my lack of cheerfulness.’

The irony of this laborious period was full of self-pity. His voice quavered at the close, and a tremor was noticeable in his stiff frame.

The irony of this tough time was filled with self-pity. His voice shook at the end, and a tremor was noticeable in his rigid body.

‘It isn’t lack of cheerfulness that I mean, father. That could never have brought me to speak like this.’

‘It’s not that I’m lacking in cheerfulness, dad. That could never make me say something like this.’

‘If you wish me to admit that I am bad-tempered, surly, irritable—I make no difficulty about that. The charge is true enough. I can only ask you again: What are the circumstances that have ruined my temper? When you present yourself here with a general accusation of my behaviour, I am at a loss to understand what you ask of me, what you wish me to say or do. I must beg you to speak plainly. Are you suggesting that I should make provision for the support of you and your mother away from my intolerable proximity? My income is not large, as I think you are aware, but of course, if a demand of this kind is seriously made, I must do my best to comply with it.’

‘If you want me to admit that I'm bad-tempered, grumpy, and irritable—I have no problem doing that. It's true enough. I can only ask you again: What are the reasons that have messed up my temper? When you come here with a vague accusation about how I behave, I don't know what you're asking of me or what you want me to say or do. Please speak clearly. Are you suggesting that I should find a way to support you and your mother away from my unbearable presence? My income isn't big, as you probably know, but if that's a serious demand, I’ll do my best to meet it.’

‘It hurts me very much that you can understand me no better than this.’

"It really hurts me that you can't understand me any better than this."

‘I am sorry. I think we used to understand each other, but that was before you were subjected to the influence of strangers.’

‘I’m sorry. I think we used to get each other, but that was before you were influenced by outsiders.’

In his perverse frame of mind he was ready to give utterance to any thought which confused the point at issue. This last allusion was suggested to him by a sudden pang of regret for the pain he was causing Marian; he defended himself against self-reproach by hinting at the true reason of much of his harshness.

In his twisted mindset, he was ready to voice any thought that muddled the main issue. This last reference came to him as a sudden wave of regret for the hurt he was causing Marian; he defended himself against feeling guilty by alluding to the real reason behind much of his harshness.

‘I am subjected to no influence that is hostile to you,’ Marian replied.

‘I am not under any influence that goes against you,’ Marian replied.

‘You may think that. But in such a matter it is very easy for you to deceive yourself.’

‘You might believe that. But in situations like this, it’s really easy to fool yourself.’

‘Of course I know what you refer to, and I can assure you that I don’t deceive myself.’

‘Of course I know what you're talking about, and I can assure you that I’m not fooling myself.’

Yule flashed a searching glance at her.

Yule shot her a questioning look.

‘Can you deny that you are on terms of friendship with a—a person who would at any moment rejoice to injure me?’

‘Can you deny that you are friends with someone who would be happy to hurt me at any moment?’

‘I am friendly with no such person. Will you say whom you are thinking of?’

‘I don’t know anyone like that. Can you tell me who you’re thinking of?’

‘It would be useless. I have no wish to discuss a subject on which we should only disagree unprofitably.’

‘It would be pointless. I don't want to talk about a topic where we’d just end up disagreeing without any benefit.’

Marian kept silence for a moment, then said in a low, unsteady voice:

Marian was quiet for a moment, then spoke in a soft, shaky voice:

‘It is perhaps because we never speak of that subject that we are so far from understanding each other. If you think that Mr Milvain is your enemy, that he would rejoice to injure you, you are grievously mistaken.’

‘Maybe it’s because we never talk about that topic that we don’t understand each other at all. If you believe that Mr. Milvain is your enemy, that he would be happy to harm you, you are very mistaken.’

‘When I see a man in close alliance with my worst enemy, and looking to that enemy for favour, I am justified in thinking that he would injure me if the right kind of opportunity offered. One need not be very deeply read in human nature to have assurance of that.’

‘When I see a guy closely aligned with my worst enemy, and seeking that enemy’s favor, I have every reason to believe that he would harm me if the right opportunity came along. You don’t have to be an expert in human nature to be sure of that.’

‘But I know Mr Milvain!’

‘But I know Mr. Milvain!’

‘You know him?’

"Do you know him?"

‘Far better than you can, I am sure. You draw conclusions from general principles; but I know that they don’t apply in this case.’

‘Far better than you can, I’m sure. You make conclusions based on general principles; but I know those don’t apply here.’

‘I have no doubt you sincerely think so. I repeat that nothing can be gained by such a discussion as this.’

‘I have no doubt you genuinely believe that. I’ll say again that nothing can come from having a discussion like this.’

‘One thing I must tell you. There was no truth in your suspicion that Mr Milvain wrote that review in The Current. He assured me himself that he was not the writer, that he had nothing to do with it.’

‘One thing I need to tell you. There was no truth to your suspicion that Mr. Milvain wrote that review in The Current. He assured me himself that he wasn’t the writer and that he had nothing to do with it.’

Yule looked askance at her, and his face displayed solicitude, which soon passed, however, into a smile of sarcasm.

Yule glanced at her with suspicion, and his face showed concern, which quickly turned into a sarcastic smile.

‘The gentleman’s word no doubt has weight with you.’

'The gentleman's word surely carries weight with you.'

‘Father, what do you mean?’ broke from Marian, whose eyes of a sudden flashed stormily. ‘Would Mr Milvain tell me a lie?’

‘Father, what do you mean?’ Marian burst out, her eyes suddenly flashing with anger. ‘Would Mr. Milvain lie to me?’

‘I shouldn’t like to say that it is impossible,’ replied her father in the same tone as before.

"I wouldn't say it's impossible," her father replied in the same tone as before.

‘But—what right have you to insult him so grossly?’

‘But—what right do you have to insult him like that?’

‘I have every right, my dear child, to express an opinion about him or any other man, provided I do it honestly. I beg you not to strike attitudes and address me in the language of the stage. You insist on my speaking plainly, and I have spoken plainly. I warned you that we were not likely to agree on this topic.’

‘I have every right, my dear child, to express an opinion about him or any other man, as long as I do it honestly. I ask you not to act dramatically and speak to me like it’s a play. You want me to be straightforward, and I have been. I warned you that we probably wouldn’t see eye to eye on this subject.’

‘Literary quarrels have made you incapable of judging honestly in things such as this. I wish I could have done for ever with the hateful profession that so poisons men’s minds.’

‘Literary disputes have made you unable to judge honestly in matters like this. I wish I could be done for good with the awful profession that so corrupts people’s minds.’

‘Believe me, my girl,’ said her father, incisively, ‘the simpler thing would be to hold aloof from such people as use the profession in a spirit of unalloyed selfishness, who seek only material advancement, and who, whatever connection they form, have nothing but self-interest in view.’

‘Believe me, my girl,’ her father said firmly, ‘the easier thing would be to stay away from people who approach the profession with pure selfishness, who only seek personal gain, and who, no matter what connections they make, have nothing but their own interests at heart.’

And he glared at her with much meaning. Marian—both had remained standing all through the dialogue—cast down her eyes and became lost in brooding.

And he stared at her intensely. Marian—both of them had stayed standing the whole time—looked down and got lost in thought.

‘I speak with profound conviction,’ pursued her father, ‘and, however little you credit me with such a motive, out of desire to guard you against the dangers to which your inexperience is exposed. It is perhaps as well that you have afforded me this—’

‘I speak with deep conviction,’ her father continued, ‘and, no matter how little you believe I have such a motive, I want to protect you from the dangers your inexperience exposes you to. It’s probably for the best that you’ve given me this—’

There sounded at the house-door that duplicated double-knock which generally announces the bearer of a telegram. Yule interrupted himself, and stood in an attitude of waiting. The servant was heard to go along the passage, to open the door, and then return towards the study. Yes, it was a telegram. Such despatches rarely came to this house; Yule tore the envelope, read its contents, and stood with gaze fixed upon the slip of paper until the servant inquired if there was any reply for the boy to take with him.

There was a sharp double knock at the door that usually signals someone bringing a telegram. Yule paused, standing in anticipation. The servant walked down the hallway to open the door and then came back to the study. Yes, it was a telegram. Messages like this rarely arrived at the house; Yule ripped open the envelope, read the message, and continued to stare at the piece of paper until the servant asked if there was any reply for the boy to take back.

‘No reply.’

‘No response.’

He slowly crumpled the envelope, and stepped aside to throw it into the paper-basket. The telegram he laid on his desk. Marian stood all the time with bent head; he now looked at her with an expression of meditative displeasure.

He slowly crumpled the envelope and stepped aside to toss it into the trash can. He placed the telegram on his desk. Marian stood the entire time with her head down; he now looked at her with a thoughtful frown.

‘I don’t know that there’s much good in resuming our conversation,’ he said, in quite a changed tone, as if something of more importance had taken possession of his thoughts and had made him almost indifferent to the past dispute. ‘But of course I am quite willing to hear anything you would still like to say.

‘I don't think it really matters much to continue our conversation,’ he said, in a different tone, as if something more important had taken over his thoughts and made him almost indifferent to our previous argument. ‘But I'm definitely open to hearing anything you still want to say.’

Marian had lost her vehemence. She was absent and melancholy.

Marian had lost her passion. She seemed distant and sad.

‘I can only ask you,’ she replied, ‘to try and make life less of a burden to us.’

‘I can only ask you,’ she replied, ‘to try and make life less of a burden for us.’

‘I shall have to leave town to-morrow for a few days; no doubt it will be some satisfaction to you to hear that.’

‘I will have to leave town tomorrow for a few days; it will probably be some satisfaction to you to hear that.’

Marian’s eyes turned involuntarily towards the telegram.

Marian's eyes were drawn to the telegram without her meaning to.

‘As for your occupation in my absence,’ he went on, in a hard tone which yet had something tremulous, emotional, making it quite different from the voice he had hitherto used, ‘that will be entirely a matter for your own judgment. I have felt for some time that you assisted me with less good-will than formerly, and now that you have frankly admitted it, I shall of course have very little satisfaction in requesting your aid. I must leave it to you; consult your own inclination.’

‘Regarding your role while I’m not around,’ he continued, in a stern tone that still had a hint of emotion, making it feel quite different from how he’d spoken before, ‘that will completely depend on your own judgment. I’ve sensed for a while now that you’ve been helping me with less enthusiasm than you did before, and now that you’ve openly acknowledged it, I won’t find much pleasure in asking for your support. I’ll leave it to you; follow your own preferences.’

It was resentful, but not savage; between the beginning and the end of his speech he softened to a sort of self-satisfied pathos.

It was bitter, but not brutal; between the start and finish of his speech, he became a bit of a self-satisfied emotional appeal.

‘I can’t pretend,’ replied Marian, ‘that I have as much pleasure in the work as I should have if your mood were gentler.’

‘I can’t pretend,’ replied Marian, ‘that I enjoy the work as much as I would if you were in a better mood.’

‘I am sorry. I might perhaps have made greater efforts to appear at ease when I was suffering.’

‘I’m sorry. I should have tried harder to look relaxed when I was struggling.’

‘Do you mean physical suffering?’

"Are you talking about physical pain?"

‘Physical and mental. But that can’t concern you. During my absence I will think of your reproof. I know that it is deserved, in some degree. If it is possible, you shall have less to complain of in future.’

'Physical and mental. But that shouldn't worry you. While I'm away, I'll reflect on your criticism. I know some of it is justified. If I can, you'll have fewer complaints in the future.'

He looked about the room, and at length seated himself; his eyes were fixed in a direction away from Marian.

He scanned the room and eventually took a seat; his gaze was directed away from Marian.

‘I suppose you had dinner somewhere?’ Marian asked, after catching a glimpse of his worn, colourless face.

‘I guess you had dinner somewhere?’ Marian asked, after catching a glimpse of his tired, pale face.

‘Oh, I had a mouthful of something. It doesn’t matter.’

‘Oh, I had a mouthful of something. It doesn’t matter.’

It seemed as if he found some special pleasure in assuming this tone of martyrdom just now. At the same time he was becoming more absorbed in thought.

It felt like he took some kind of special satisfaction in adopting this martyr-like attitude at that moment. Meanwhile, he became increasingly lost in thought.

‘Shall I have something brought up for you, father?’

“Do you want me to get you something, Dad?”

‘Something—? Oh no, no; on no account.’

‘Something—? Oh no, no; definitely not.’

He rose again impatiently, then approached his desk, and laid a hand on the telegram. Marian observed this movement, and examined his face; it was set in an expression of eagerness.

He stood up again, feeling impatient, then walked over to his desk and placed a hand on the telegram. Marian noticed this action and studied his face; it showed a look of eagerness.

‘You have nothing more to say, then?’ He turned sharply upon her.

‘So, you have nothing else to say?’ He turned sharply toward her.

‘I feel that I haven’t made you understand me, but I can say nothing more.’

‘I feel like I haven’t made you understand me, but I can’t say anything else.’

‘I understand you very well—too well. That you should misunderstand and mistrust me, I suppose, is natural. You are young, and I am old. You are still full of hope, and I have been so often deceived and defeated that I dare not let a ray of hope enter my mind. Judge me; judge me as hardly as you like. My life has been one long, bitter struggle, and if now—. I say,’ he began a new sentence, ‘that only the hard side of life has been shown to me; small wonder if I have become hard myself. Desert me; go your own way, as the young always do. But bear in mind my warning. Remember the caution I have given you.’

"I really get you—maybe too well. It makes sense that you misunderstand and distrust me. You're young, and I’m old. You still have hope, while I’ve been let down and defeated so many times that I can’t even allow myself to hope anymore. Judge me; judge me as harshly as you want. My life has been one long, painful struggle, and if now—. I mean," he started a new sentence, "it’s only natural that the tough side of life has been what I've seen; it’s no surprise that I’ve become tough myself. Leave me; take your own path, as young people always do. But remember my warning. Keep in mind the advice I’ve given you."

He spoke in a strangely sudden agitation. The arm with which he leaned upon the table trembled violently. After a moment’s pause he added, in a thick voice:

He spoke with an oddly sudden intensity. The arm he had resting on the table shook violently. After a brief pause, he added in a husky voice:

‘Leave me. I will speak to you again in the morning.’

‘Leave me. I’ll talk to you again in the morning.’

Impressed in a way she did not understand, Marian at once obeyed, and rejoined her mother in the parlour. Mrs Yule gazed anxiously at her as she entered.

Impressed in a way she couldn't quite grasp, Marian immediately obeyed and went back to her mother in the living room. Mrs. Yule looked at her with concern as she walked in.

‘Don’t be afraid,’ said Marian, with difficulty bringing herself to speak. ‘I think it will be better.’

‘Don’t be afraid,’ Marian said, struggling to find the words. ‘I think it’ll be better.’

‘Was that a telegram that came?’ her mother inquired after a silence.

‘Was that a telegram that just arrived?’ her mother asked after a pause.

‘Yes. I don’t know where it was from. But father said he would have to leave town for a few days.’

‘Yes. I don’t know where it came from. But Dad said he would have to leave town for a few days.’

They exchanged looks.

They exchanged glances.

‘Perhaps your uncle is very ill,’ said the mother in a low voice.

“Maybe your uncle is really sick,” the mother said quietly.

‘Perhaps so.’

"Maybe."

The evening passed drearily. Fatigued with her emotions, Marian went early to bed; she even slept later than usual in the morning, and on descending she found her father already at the breakfast-table. No greeting passed, and there was no conversation during the meal. Marian noticed that her mother kept glancing at her in a peculiarly grave way; but she felt ill and dejected, and could fix her thoughts on no subject. As he left the table Yule said to her:

The evening dragged on. Worn out by her feelings, Marian went to bed early; she even slept later than usual the next morning, and when she came downstairs, she found her father already at the breakfast table. There was no greeting, and no conversation during the meal. Marian noticed that her mother kept looking at her in a strangely serious way; but she felt unwell and down, and couldn't focus on anything. As he was leaving the table, Yule said to her:

‘I want to speak to you for a moment. I shall be in the study.’

‘I want to talk to you for a moment. I’ll be in the study.’

She joined him there very soon. He looked coldly at her, and said in a distant tone:

She joined him there pretty quickly. He looked at her coldly and said in a distant tone:

‘The telegram last night was to tell me that your uncle is dead.’

‘The telegram last night was to inform me that your uncle has passed away.’

‘Dead!’

"Deceased!"

‘He died of apoplexy, at a meeting in Wattleborough. I shall go down this morning, and of course remain till after the funeral. I see no necessity for your going, unless, of course, it is your desire to do so.’

‘He died of a stroke at a meeting in Wattleborough. I will head down there this morning and of course stay until after the funeral. I don’t see any reason for you to go unless you really want to.’

‘No; I should do as you wish.’

‘No; I will do what you want.’

‘I think you had better not go to the Museum whilst I am away. You will occupy yourself as you think fit.’

‘I think you shouldn’t go to the Museum while I’m away. You can keep yourself busy however you like.’

‘I shall go on with the Harrington notes.’

‘I will continue with the Harrington notes.’

‘As you please. I don’t know what mourning it would be decent for you to wear; you must consult with your mother about that. That is all I wished to say.’

‘As you wish. I’m not sure what appropriate mourning attire you should wear; you should discuss that with your mother. That’s all I wanted to say.’

His tone was dismissal. Marian had a struggle with herself but she could find nothing to reply to his cold phrases. And an hour or two afterwards Yule left the house without leave-taking.

His tone was dismissive. Marian struggled with herself but couldn’t find anything to say in response to his cold words. A couple of hours later, Yule left the house without saying goodbye.

Soon after his departure there was a visitor’s rat-tat at the door; it heralded Mrs Goby. In the interview which then took place Marian assisted her mother to bear the vigorous onslaughts of the haberdasher’s wife. For more than two hours Mrs Goby related her grievances, against the fugitive servant, against Mrs Yule, against Mr Yule; meeting with no irritating opposition, she was able in this space of time to cool down to the temperature of normal intercourse, and when she went forth from the house again it was in a mood of dignified displeasure which she felt to be some recompense for the injuries of yesterday.

Soon after he left, there was a knock at the door; it was Mrs. Goby. During the conversation that followed, Marian helped her mother deal with the strong complaints from the haberdasher’s wife. For over two hours, Mrs. Goby shared her grievances about the runaway servant, Mrs. Yule, and Mr. Yule. With no annoying pushback, she was able to calm down enough to engage in normal conversation. When she finally left the house, she did so with a sense of dignified displeasure, which she felt was a fitting response to the troubles of the day before.

A result of this annoyance was to postpone conversation between mother and daughter on the subject of John Yule’s death until a late hour of the afternoon. Marian was at work in the study, or endeavouring to work, for her thoughts would not fix themselves on the matter in hand for many minutes together, and Mrs Yule came in with more than her customary diffidence.

A result of this irritation was to delay the conversation between mother and daughter about John Yule's death until late in the afternoon. Marian was trying to work in the study, but she couldn’t focus on the task at hand for long periods, and Mrs. Yule entered with more than her usual shyness.

‘Have you nearly done for to-day, dear?’

‘Are you almost done for today, dear?’

‘Enough for the present, I think.’

‘That should be enough for now, I think.’

She laid down her pen, and leant back in the chair.

She set down her pen and leaned back in the chair.

‘Marian, do you think your father will be rich?’

‘Marian, do you think your dad will be wealthy?’

‘I have no idea, mother. I suppose we shall know very soon.’

‘I have no idea, Mom. I guess we’ll find out pretty soon.’

Her tone was dreamy. She seemed to herself to be speaking of something which scarcely at all concerned her, of vague possibilities which did not affect her habits of thought.

Her tone was dreamy. She felt like she was talking about something that hardly concerned her at all, about vague possibilities that didn’t impact how she thought.

‘If that happens,’ continued Mrs Yule, in a low tone of distress, ‘I don’t know what I shall do.’

'If that happens,' Mrs. Yule continued in a worried whisper, 'I don't know what I'll do.'

Marian looked at her questioningly.

Marian gave her a questioning look.

‘I can’t wish that it mayn’t happen,’ her mother went on; ‘I can’t, for his sake and for yours; but I don’t know what I shall do. He’d think me more in his way than ever. He’d wish to have a large house, and live in quite a different way; and how could I manage then? I couldn’t show myself; he’d be too much ashamed of me. I shouldn’t be in my place; even you’d feel ashamed of me.’

‘I can’t hope that it won’t happen,’ her mother continued; ‘I can’t, for his sake and for yours; but I don’t know what I’ll do. He’d see me as more of an obstacle than ever. He’d want a big house and to live a completely different lifestyle; and how would I handle that? I couldn’t be out in public; he’d be too embarrassed by me. I wouldn’t fit in; even you’d feel embarrassed by me.’

‘You mustn’t say that, mother. I have never given you cause to think that.’

‘You shouldn't say that, mom. I've never given you a reason to think that.’

‘No, my dear, you haven’t; but it would be only natural. I couldn’t live the kind of life that you’re fit for. I shall be nothing but a hindrance and a shame to both of you.’

‘No, my dear, you haven’t; but that would be completely understandable. I couldn’t live the kind of life that you’re meant for. I would only be a burden and a disgrace to both of you.’

‘To me you would never be either hindrance or shame; be quite sure of that. And as for father, I am all but certain that, if he became rich, he would be a very much kinder man, a better man in every way. It is poverty that has made him worse than he naturally is; it has that effect on almost everybody. Money does harm, too, sometimes; but never, I think, to people who have a good heart and a strong mind. Father is naturally a warm-hearted man; riches would bring out all the best in him. He would be generous again, which he has almost forgotten how to be among all his disappointments and battlings. Don’t be afraid of that change, but hope for it.’

‘You would never be a burden or a source of shame for me; you can be sure of that. And as for Dad, I’m almost certain that if he became wealthy, he would be a much kinder person, a better person in every way. It’s poverty that has made him worse than he is naturally; that happens to almost everyone. Money can cause problems too, sometimes, but I don’t think it ever affects people who have a good heart and a strong mind. Dad is inherently warm-hearted; having wealth would bring out the best in him again. He would be generous once more, which he has nearly forgotten how to be after all his disappointments and struggles. Don't fear that change, but look forward to it.’

Mrs Yule gave a troublous sigh, and for a few minutes pondered anxiously.

Mrs. Yule let out a worried sigh and anxiously thought for a few minutes.

‘I wasn’t thinking so much about myself’ she said at length. ‘It’s the hindrance I should be to father. Just because of me, he mightn’t be able to use his money as he’d wish. He’d always be feeling that if it wasn’t for me things would be so much better for him and for you as well.’

‘I wasn’t really thinking about myself,’ she said after a while. ‘It’s the burden I might be to my dad. Just because of me, he might not be able to use his money the way he wants. He’d always be thinking that if it weren’t for me, things would be so much better for him and for you too.’

‘You must remember,’ Marian replied, ‘that at father’s age people don’t care to make such great changes. His home life, I feel sure, wouldn’t be so very different from what it is now; he would prefer to use his money in starting a paper or magazine. I know that would be his first thought. If more acquaintances came to his house, what would that matter? It isn’t as if he wished for fashionable society. They would be literary people, and why ever shouldn’t you meet with them?’

‘You have to remember,’ Marian replied, ‘that at Dad’s age, people aren’t keen on making big changes. I’m pretty sure his home life wouldn’t be that different from what it is now; he’d rather spend his money starting a newspaper or magazine. I know that would be his first choice. If more acquaintances came over, so what? It’s not like he’s looking for high society. They’d be literary folks, and why shouldn’t you meet them?’

‘I’ve always been the reason why he couldn’t have many friends.’

‘I’ve always been the reason he couldn’t have many friends.’

‘That’s a great mistake. If father ever said that, in his bad temper, he knew it wasn’t the truth. The chief reason has always been his poverty. It costs money to entertain friends; time as well. Don’t think in this anxious way, mother. If we are to be rich, it will be better for all of us.’

‘That’s a big mistake. If Dad ever said that, in his bad mood, he knew it wasn’t true. The main reason has always been his lack of money. It costs money to entertain friends; it takes time too. Don’t worry like this, Mom. If we’re going to be wealthy, it’ll be better for all of us.’

Marian had every reason for seeking to persuade herself that this was true. In her own heart there was a fear of how wealth might affect her father, but she could not bring herself to face the darker prospect. For her so much depended on that hope of a revival of generous feeling under sunny influences.

Marian had every reason to convince herself that this was true. Deep down, she feared how wealth might change her father, but she couldn't bear to confront the harsher possibility. For her, so much rested on the hope that a return to kindness could flourish in a positive environment.

It was only after this conversation that she began to reflect on all the possible consequences of her uncle’s death. As yet she had been too much disturbed to grasp as a reality the event to which she had often looked forward, though as to something still remote, and of quite uncertain results. Perhaps at this moment, though she could not know it, the course of her life had undergone the most important change. Perhaps there was no more need for her to labour upon this ‘article’ she was manufacturing.

It was only after this conversation that she started to think about all the possible consequences of her uncle’s death. Until then, she had been too upset to see the event she had often anticipated as a real possibility, though it still felt distant and uncertain in its outcomes. Maybe, at that moment, even if she didn’t realize it, her life was undergoing a significant transformation. Perhaps she no longer needed to work on this ‘article’ she had been creating.

She did not think it probable that she herself would benefit directly by John Yule’s will. There was no certainty that even her father would, for he and his brother had never been on cordial terms. But on the whole it seemed likely that he would inherit money enough to free him from the toil of writing for periodicals. He himself anticipated that. What else could be the meaning of those words in which (and it was before the arrival of the news) he had warned her against ‘people who made connections only with self-interest in view?’ This threw a sudden light upon her father’s attitude towards Jasper Milvain. Evidently he thought that Jasper regarded her as a possible heiress, sooner or later. That suspicion was rankling in his mind; doubtless it intensified the prejudice which originated in literary animosity.

She didn't think it was likely that she would benefit directly from John Yule’s will. There was no guarantee that even her father would, since he and his brother had never been on good terms. But overall, it seemed probable that he would inherit enough money to free himself from the grind of writing for magazines. He expected that as well. What else could those words mean in which (and this was before the news arrived) he had advised her against "people who only seek connections for their own gain?" This suddenly clarified her father’s attitude toward Jasper Milvain. Clearly, he believed that Jasper saw her as a potential heiress, eventually. That suspicion was festering in his mind; it likely fueled the bias that stemmed from literary rivalries.

Was there any truth in his suspicion? She did not shrink from admitting that there might be. Jasper had from the first been so frank with her, had so often repeated that money was at present his chief need. If her father inherited substantial property, would it induce Jasper to declare himself more than her friend? She could view the possibility of that, and yet not for a moment be shaken in her love. It was plain that Jasper could not think of marrying until his position and prospects were greatly improved; practically, his sisters depended upon him. What folly it would be to draw back if circumstances led him to avow what hitherto he had so slightly disguised! She had the conviction that he valued her for her own sake; if the obstacle between them could only be removed, what matter how?

Was there any truth to his suspicion? She didn’t hesitate to admit that there might be. Jasper had always been so honest with her, frequently saying that money was currently his main concern. If her father inherited a significant amount of property, would that make Jasper more inclined to express feelings beyond just friendship? She could consider that possibility without for a moment doubting her love for him. It was clear that Jasper wouldn’t think about marriage until his situation and prospects improved; after all, his sisters relied on him. It would be foolish to pull away if circumstances pushed him to reveal what he had previously downplayed! She was convinced that he valued her for who she was; if only the barrier between them could be removed, what difference would it make how?

Would he be willing to abandon Clement Fadge, and come over to her father’s side? If Yule were able to found a magazine?

Would he be willing to leave Clement Fadge and join her father’s side? What if Yule could start a magazine?

Had she read or heard of a girl who went so far in concessions, Marian would have turned away, her delicacy offended. In her own case she could indulge to the utmost that practicality which colours a woman’s thought even in mid passion. The cold exhibition of ignoble scheming will repel many a woman who, for her own heart’s desire, is capable of that same compromise with her strict sense of honour.

Had she read or heard about a girl who made so many concessions, Marian would have looked away, feeling offended. In her own situation, she could fully embrace the practicality that influences a woman’s thoughts, even when she's deeply passionate. The blatant display of questionable scheming will turn away many women who, for their own heart's desire, are capable of compromising their strong sense of honor.

Marian wrote to Dora Milvain, telling her what had happened. But she refrained from visiting her friends.

Marian wrote to Dora Milvain, explaining what had happened. But she held back from visiting her friends.

Each night found her more restless, each morning less able to employ herself. She shut herself in the study merely to be alone with her thoughts, to be able to walk backwards and forwards, or sit for hours in feverish reverie. From her father came no news. Her mother was suffering dreadfully from suspense, and often had eyes red with weeping. Absorbed in her own hopes and fears, whilst every hour harassed her more intolerably, Marian was unable to play the part of an encourager; she had never known such exclusiveness of self-occupation.

Each night left her feeling more restless, and each morning made it harder for her to keep herself busy. She locked herself in the study just so she could be alone with her thoughts, pacing back and forth or sitting for hours in a feverish daydream. There was no news from her father. Her mother was suffering terribly from anxiety and often had eyes that were red from crying. Caught up in her own hopes and fears, while every hour weighed on her more and more, Marian couldn’t act as a source of encouragement; she had never experienced such a focus on her own concerns.

Yule’s return was unannounced. Early in the afternoon, when he had been absent five days, he entered the house, deposited his travelling-bag in the passage, and went upstairs. Marian had come out of the study just in time to see him up on the first landing; at the same moment Mrs Yule ascended from the kitchen.

Yule returned without any notice. Early in the afternoon, after being away for five days, he walked into the house, dropped his travel bag in the hallway, and headed upstairs. Marian had just stepped out of the study and caught a glimpse of him on the first landing; at the same time, Mrs. Yule came up from the kitchen.

‘Wasn’t that father?’

‘Wasn’t that dad?’

‘Yes, he has gone up.’

“Yes, he’s risen.”

‘Did he say anything?’

"Did he say anything?"

Marian shook her head. They looked at the travelling-bag, then went into the parlour and waited in silence for more than a quarter of an hour. Yule’s foot was heard on the stairs; he came down slowly, paused in the passage, entered the parlour with his usual grave, cold countenance.

Marian shook her head. They stared at the travel bag, then went into the living room and waited in silence for over fifteen minutes. They heard Yule's footsteps on the stairs; he came down slowly, paused in the hallway, and entered the living room with his usual serious, distant expression.





CHAPTER XXII. THE LEGATEES

Each day Jasper came to inquire of his sisters if they had news from Wattleborough or from Marian Yule. He exhibited no impatience, spoke of the matter in a disinterested tone; still, he came daily.

Each day, Jasper would ask his sisters if they had heard anything from Wattleborough or Marian Yule. He showed no impatience and talked about it in a casual way; still, he came every day.

One afternoon he found Dora working alone. Maud, he was told, had gone to lunch at Mrs Lane’s.

One afternoon, he found Dora working by herself. He was told that Maud had gone to lunch at Mrs. Lane's.

‘So soon again? She’s getting very thick with those people. And why don’t they ask you?’

‘So soon again? She’s getting really close with those people. And why don’t they ask you?’

‘Maud has told them that I don’t care to go out.’

‘Maud has told them that I don’t want to go out.’

‘It’s all very well, but she mustn’t neglect her work. Did she write anything last night or this morning?’

'It’s all well and good, but she can't neglect her work. Did she write anything last night or this morning?'

Dora bit the end of her pen and shook her head.

Dora chewed on the end of her pen and shook her head.

‘Why not?’

"Why not?"

‘The invitation came about five o’clock, and it seemed to unsettle her.’

‘The invitation arrived around five o'clock, and it appeared to make her uneasy.’

‘Precisely. That’s what I’m afraid of. She isn’t the kind of girl to stick at work if people begin to send her invitations. But I tell you what it is, you must talk seriously to her; she has to get her living, you know. Mrs Lane and her set are not likely to be much use, that’s the worst of it; they’ll merely waste her time, and make her discontented.’

‘Exactly. That’s what I’m worried about. She’s not the type to stay focused on work if she starts getting invitations. But listen, you really need to have a serious talk with her; she needs to earn a living, you know. Mrs. Lane and her crowd probably won’t be much help, and that’s the problem; they’ll just end up wasting her time and making her unhappy.’

His sister executed an elaborate bit of cross-hatching on some waste paper. Her lips were drawn together, and her brows wrinkled. At length she broke the silence by saying:

His sister was intensely focused as she drew intricate patterns on some scrap paper. Her lips were pressed together, and her brows were furrowed. Finally, she spoke up, breaking the silence:

‘Marian hasn’t been yet.’

‘Marian hasn't come yet.’

Jasper seemed to pay no attention; she looked up at him, and saw that he was in thought.

Jasper appeared to be completely oblivious; she glanced up at him and noticed that he was lost in thought.

‘Did you go to those people last night?’ she inquired.

“Did you go see those people last night?” she asked.

‘Yes. By-the-bye, Miss Rupert was there.’

'Yes. By the way, Miss Rupert was there.'

He spoke as if the name would be familiar to his hearer, but Dora seemed at a loss.

He spoke as if the name would be familiar to her, but Dora looked confused.

‘Who is Miss Rupert?’

‘Who's Miss Rupert?’

‘Didn’t I tell you about her? I thought I did. Oh, I met her first of all at Barlow’s, just after we got back from the seaside. Rather an interesting girl. She’s a daughter of Manton Rupert, the advertising agent. I want to get invited to their house; useful people, you know.’

‘Didn’t I tell you about her? I thought I did. Oh, I met her first at Barlow’s, right after we got back from the beach. She’s quite an interesting girl. She’s the daughter of Manton Rupert, the advertising agent. I want to get invited to their house; they’re useful people, you know.’

‘But is an advertising agent a gentleman?’

‘But is an advertising agent a gentleman?’

Jasper laughed.

Jasper giggled.

‘Do you think of him as a bill-poster? At all events he is enormously wealthy, and has a magnificent house at Chislehurst. The girl goes about with her stepmother. I call her a girl, but she must be nearly thirty, and Mrs Rupert looks only two or three years older. I had quite a long talk with her—Miss Rupert, I mean—last night. She told me she was going to stay next week with the Barlows, so I shall have a run out to Wimbledon one afternoon.’

‘Do you think of him as a poster guy? Anyway, he’s really wealthy and has a beautiful house in Chislehurst. The girl spends time with her stepmom. I call her a girl, but she’s almost thirty, and Mrs. Rupert looks only a couple of years older. I had a pretty long conversation with her—Miss Rupert, I mean—last night. She mentioned she’s going to stay with the Barlows next week, so I’ll head out to Wimbledon one afternoon.’

Dora looked at him inquiringly.

Dora looked at him questioningly.

‘Just to see Miss Rupert?’ she asked, meeting his eyes.

‘Just to see Miss Rupert?’ she asked, looking into his eyes.

‘To be sure. Why not?’

"Sure thing. Why not?"

‘Oh!’ ejaculated his sister, as if the question did not concern her.

‘Oh!’ exclaimed his sister, as if the question had nothing to do with her.

‘She isn’t exactly good-looking,’ pursued Jasper, meditatively, with a quick glance at the listener, ‘but fairly intellectual. Plays very well, and has a nice contralto voice; she sang that new thing of Tosti’s—what do you call it? I thought her rather masculine when I first saw her, but the impression wears off when one knows her better. She rather takes to me, I fancy.’

‘She isn’t exactly attractive,’ Jasper continued thoughtfully, glancing quickly at the listener, ‘but she’s pretty intellectual. She plays really well and has a nice contralto voice; she sang that new piece by Tosti—what's it called? I thought she seemed a bit masculine when I first saw her, but that impression fades when you get to know her better. I think she kind of likes me.’

‘But—’ began Dora, after a minute’s silence.

‘But—’ started Dora, after a brief silence.

‘But what?’ inquired her brother with an air of interest.

‘But what?’ her brother asked, sounding intrigued.

‘I don’t quite understand you.’

"I don't really get you."

‘In general, or with reference to some particular?’

‘In general, or about something specific?’

‘What right have you to go to places just to see this Miss Rupert?’

‘What right do you have to go to places just to see this Miss Rupert?’

‘What right?’ He laughed. ‘I am a young man with my way to make. I can’t afford to lose any opportunity. If Miss Rupert is so good as to take an interest in me, I have no objection. She’s old enough to make friends for herself.’

‘What right?’ He laughed. ‘I’m a young man trying to make my way. I can’t afford to miss any opportunity. If Miss Rupert is kind enough to take an interest in me, I have no problem with that. She’s old enough to make her own friends.’

‘Oh, then you consider her simply a friend?’

‘Oh, so you just see her as a friend?’

‘I shall see how things go on.’

‘I’ll see how things turn out.’

‘But, pray, do you consider yourself perfectly free?’ asked Dora, with some indignation.

"But, please, do you think of yourself as completely free?" asked Dora, somewhat indignantly.

‘Why shouldn’t I?’

‘Why not?’

‘Then I think you have been behaving very strangely.’

‘Then I think you’ve been acting really weird.’

Jasper saw that she was in earnest. He stroked the back of his head and smiled at the wall.

Jasper noticed that she was genuine. He rubbed the back of his head and smiled at the wall.

‘With regard to Marian, you mean?’

"Are you talking about Marian?"

‘Of course I do.’

"Of course I do."

‘But Marian understands me perfectly. I have never for a moment tried to make her think that—well, to put it plainly, that I was in love with her. In all our conversations it has been my one object to afford her insight into my character, and to explain my position. She has no excuse whatever for misinterpreting me. And I feel assured that she has done nothing of the kind.’

‘But Marian understands me perfectly. I’ve never tried to make her believe that—let’s be honest, that I was in love with her. In all our conversations, my main goal has been to give her insight into my character and to explain my situation. She has no reason to misunderstand me. And I’m confident that she hasn’t done anything like that.’

‘Very well, if you feel satisfied with yourself—’

‘Alright, if you feel good about yourself—’

‘But come now, Dora; what’s all this about? You are Marian’s friend, and, of course, I don’t wish you to say a word about her.

‘But come on, Dora; what’s this all about? You’re Marian’s friend, and I definitely don’t want you to say anything about her.

But let me explain myself. I have occasionally walked part of the way home with Marian, when she and I have happened to go from here at the same time; now there was nothing whatever in our talk at such times that anyone mightn’t have listened to. We are both intellectual people, and we talk in an intellectual way. You seem to have rather old-fashioned ideas—provincial ideas. A girl like Marian Yule claims the new privileges of woman; she would resent it if you supposed that she couldn’t be friendly with a man without attributing “intentions” to him—to use the old word. We don’t live in Wattleborough, where liberty is rendered impossible by the cackling of gossips.’

But let me explain myself. I’ve occasionally walked part of the way home with Marian when we happened to leave at the same time; there was nothing at all in our conversations that anyone wouldn’t have been able to listen to. We’re both intellectual people, and we talk in an intellectual manner. You seem to have some outdated ideas—narrow-minded ideas. A girl like Marian Yule claims the new rights of women; she would be offended if you thought she couldn’t be friendly with a man without assuming “intentions”—to use an old term. We don’t live in Wattleborough, where freedom is stifled by gossip.

‘No, but—’

‘Nah, but—’

‘Well?’

‘So?’

‘It seems to me rather strange, that’s all. We had better not talk about it any more.’

‘It seems kind of strange to me, that's all. We should probably not discuss it any further.’

‘But I have only just begun to talk about it; I must try to make my position intelligible to you. Now, suppose—a quite impossible thing—that Marian inherited some twenty or thirty thousand pounds; I should forthwith ask her to be my wife.’

‘But I’ve only just started to discuss this; I have to try to make my situation clear to you. Now, imagine—a totally unlikely scenario—that Marian inherited around twenty or thirty thousand pounds; I would immediately ask her to marry me.’

‘Oh indeed!’

"Oh definitely!"

‘I see no reason for sarcasm. It would be a most rational proceeding. I like her very much; but to marry her (supposing she would have me) without money would he a gross absurdity, simply spoiling my career, and leading to all sorts of discontents.’

‘I see no reason to be sarcastic. That would be a completely rational approach. I like her a lot; but marrying her (assuming she would want me) without money would be utterly ridiculous, ruining my career and causing all sorts of frustrations.’

‘No one would suggest that you should marry as things are.’

‘No one would say that you should get married the way things are.’

‘No; but please to bear in mind that to obtain money somehow or other—and I see no other way than by marriage—is necessary to me, and that with as little delay as possible. I am not at all likely to get a big editorship for some years to come, and I don’t feel disposed to make myself prematurely old by toiling for a few hundreds per annum in the meantime. Now all this I have frankly and fully explained to Marian. I dare say she suspects what I should do if she came into possession of money; there’s no harm in that. But she knows perfectly well that, as things are, we remain intellectual friends.’

‘No; but please keep in mind that I need to obtain money somehow—and the only way I see is through marriage—and I need it as soon as possible. I'm not likely to land a major editorial position for quite some time, and I don’t want to age myself prematurely by working for just a few hundred a year in the meantime. I’ve explained all of this openly and honestly to Marian. I’m sure she suspects what I would do if she came into money; that’s not an issue. But she knows very well that, as things stand, we remain intellectual friends.’

‘Then listen to me, Jasper. If we hear that Marian gets nothing from her uncle, you had better behave honestly, and let her see that you haven’t as much interest in her as before.’

‘Then listen to me, Jasper. If we find out that Marian gets nothing from her uncle, you’d better act honestly and show her that you’re not as interested in her as you were before.’

‘That would be brutality.’

"That would be cruel."

‘It would be honest.’

"It would be truthful."

‘Well, no, it wouldn’t. Strictly speaking, my interest in Marian wouldn’t suffer at all. I should know that we could be nothing but friends, that’s all. Hitherto I haven’t known what might come to pass; I don’t know yet. So far from following your advice, I shall let Marian understand that, if anything, I am more her friend than ever, seeing that henceforth there can be no ambiguities.’

‘Well, no, it wouldn’t. To be honest, my feelings for Marian wouldn’t change at all. I should realize that we can only be friends, and that’s all there is to it. Up to now, I haven’t known what could happen; I still don’t. Instead of taking your advice, I’ll make it clear to Marian that, if anything, I’m more her friend than ever, considering that from now on there can be no misunderstandings.’

‘I can only tell you that Maud would agree with me in what I have been saying.’

‘I can only tell you that Maud would agree with me about what I’ve been saying.’

‘Then both of you have distorted views.’

‘Then both of you have twisted perspectives.’

‘I think not. It’s you who are unprincipled.’

‘I don’t think so. It’s you who lacks principles.’

‘My dear girl, haven’t I been showing you that no man could be more above-board, more straightforward?’

‘My dear girl, haven’t I been showing you that no guy could be more honest, more direct?’

‘You have been talking nonsense, Jasper.’

"You've been rambling, Jasper."

‘Nonsense? Oh, this female lack of logic! Then my argument has been utterly thrown away. Now that’s one of the things I like in Miss Rupert; she can follow an argument and see consequences. And for that matter so can Marian. I only wish it were possible to refer this question to her.’

‘Nonsense? Oh, this woman’s lack of logic! Then my point has been completely wasted. That’s one of the things I appreciate about Miss Rupert; she can follow a discussion and understand the implications. And actually, so can Marian. I just wish it were possible to ask her about this issue.’

There was a tap at the door. Dora called ‘Come in!’ and Marian herself appeared.

There was a knock at the door. Dora said, "Come in!" and Marian walked in herself.

‘What an odd thing!’ exclaimed Jasper, lowering his voice. ‘I was that moment saying I wished it were possible to refer a question to you.’

‘What a strange thing!’ Jasper exclaimed, lowering his voice. ‘I was just saying that I wished it were possible to ask you a question.’

Dora reddened, and stood in an embarrassed attitude.

Dora blushed and stood there awkwardly.

‘It was the old dispute whether women in general are capable of logic. But pardon me, Miss Yule; I forget that you have been occupied with sad things since I last saw you.’

‘It was the old debate about whether women are capable of logical thinking. But excuse me, Miss Yule; I forget that you've been dealing with difficult matters since I last saw you.’

Dora led her to a chair, asking if her father had returned.

Dora showed her to a chair and asked if her dad had come back.

‘Yes, he came back yesterday.’

"Yeah, he came back yesterday."

Jasper and his sister could not think it likely that Marian had suffered much from grief at her uncle’s death; practically John Yule was a stranger to her. Yet her face bore the signs of acute mental trouble, and it seemed as if some agitation made it difficult for her to speak. The awkward silence that fell upon the three was broken by Jasper, who expressed a regret that he was obliged to take his leave.

Jasper and his sister found it hard to believe that Marian had been deeply affected by her uncle's death; after all, John Yule was practically a stranger to her. However, her face showed clear signs of mental distress, and it seemed like some unease was making it hard for her to speak. The awkward silence that settled over the three of them was finally broken by Jasper, who said he was sorry he had to leave.

‘Maud is becoming a young lady of society,’ he said—just for the sake of saying something—as he moved towards the door. ‘If she comes back whilst you are here, Miss Yule, warn her that that is the path of destruction for literary people.’

‘Maud is turning into a young woman of society,’ he said—just to say something—as he moved towards the door. ‘If she comes back while you’re here, Miss Yule, let her know that’s the path to ruin for writers.’

‘You should bear that in mind yourself’ remarked Dora, with a significant look.

‘You should keep that in mind yourself,’ Dora said, giving him a meaningful look.

‘Oh, I am cool-headed enough to make society serve my own ends.’

‘Oh, I'm level-headed enough to make society work for my own goals.’

Marian turned her head with a sudden movement which was checked before she had quite looked round to him. The phrase he uttered last appeared to have affected her in some way; her eyes fell, and an expression of pain was on her brows for a moment.

Marian quickly turned her head, but stopped before she fully looked at him. His last words seemed to impact her somehow; her gaze dropped, and for a moment, there was a look of pain on her face.

‘I can only stay a few minutes,’ she said, bending with a faint smile towards Dora, as soon as they were alone. ‘I have come on my way from the Museum.’

‘I can only stay for a few minutes,’ she said, bending with a slight smile towards Dora as soon as they were alone. ‘I came from the Museum.’

‘Where you have tired yourself to death as usual, I can see.’

'You’ve worn yourself out as usual, I can see.'

‘No; I have done scarcely anything. I only pretended to read; my mind is too much troubled. Have you heard anything about my uncle’s will?’

‘No; I’ve hardly done anything. I just pretended to read; my mind is too troubled. Have you heard anything about my uncle’s will?’

‘Nothing whatever.’

‘Nothing at all.’

‘I thought it might have been spoken of in Wattleborough, and some friend might have written to you. But I suppose there has hardly been time for that. I shall surprise you very much. Father receives nothing, but I have a legacy of five thousand pounds.’

‘I thought it might have been mentioned in Wattleborough, and maybe a friend would have written to you. But I guess there hasn’t been enough time for that. I’m going to surprise you. Dad hasn’t received anything, but I got a legacy of five thousand pounds.’

Dora kept her eyes down.

Dora looked down.

‘Then—what do you think?’ continued Marian. ‘My cousin Amy has ten thousand pounds.’

‘So—what do you think?’ Marian continued. ‘My cousin Amy has ten thousand pounds.’

‘Good gracious! What a difference that will make!’

'Wow! That will make such a difference!'

‘Yes, indeed. And her brother John has six thousand. But nothing to their mother. There are a good many other legacies, but most of the property goes to the Wattleborough park—“Yule Park” it will be called—and to the volunteers, and things of that kind. They say he wasn’t as rich as people thought.’

‘Yeah, that's right. And her brother John has six thousand. But nothing goes to their mom. There are quite a few other inheritances, but most of the estate goes to Wattleborough Park—it's going to be named "Yule Park"—and to the volunteers, and stuff like that. They say he wasn’t as wealthy as people believed.’

‘Do you know what Miss Harrow gets?’

‘Do you know what Miss Harrow earns?’

‘She has the house for her life, and fifteen hundred pounds.’

‘She has the house for her lifetime, and fifteen hundred pounds.’

‘And your father nothing whatever?’

‘And your dad, nothing at all?’

‘Nothing. Not a penny. Oh I am so grieved! I think it so unkind, so wrong. Amy and her brother to have sixteen thousand pounds and father nothing! I can’t understand it. There was no unkind feeling between him and father. He knew what a hard life father has had. Doesn’t it seem heartless?’

‘Nothing. Not a penny. Oh, I’m so upset! I think it’s so unkind, so wrong. Amy and her brother get sixteen thousand pounds while Father gets nothing! I just don’t get it. There was no bad blood between him and Father. He knew how tough of a life Father has had. Doesn’t it seem heartless?’

‘What does your father say?’

‘What does your dad say?’

‘I think he feels the unkindness more than he does the disappointment; of course he must have expected something. He came into the room where mother and I were, and sat down, and began to tell us about the will just as if he were speaking to strangers about something he had read in the newspaper—that’s the only way I can describe it. Then he got up and went away into the study. I waited a little, and then went to him there; he was sitting at work, as if he hadn’t been away from home at all. I tried to tell him how sorry I was, but I couldn’t say anything. I began to cry foolishly. He spoke kindly to me, far more kindly than he has done for a long time; but he wouldn’t talk about the will, and I had to go away and leave him. Poor mother! for all she was afraid that we were going to be rich, is broken-hearted at his disappointment.’

‘I think he feels the unkindness more than the disappointment; of course, he must have expected something. He came into the room where Mom and I were, sat down, and started telling us about the will as if he were talking to strangers about something he read in the newspaper—that's the best way I can describe it. Then he got up and went into the study. I waited a little, then went to him there; he was sitting at his work, as if he hadn’t been away from home at all. I tried to tell him how sorry I was, but I couldn’t say anything. I started crying foolishly. He spoke kindly to me, much more kindly than he has for a long time; but he wouldn’t talk about the will, and I had to go away and leave him. Poor Mom! Even though she was scared we were going to be rich, she’s heartbroken over his disappointment.’

‘Your mother was afraid?’ said Dora.

‘Your mom was scared?’ said Dora.

‘Because she thought herself unfitted for life in a large house, and feared we should think her in our way.’ She smiled sadly. ‘Poor mother! she is so humble and so good. I do hope that father will be kinder to her. But there’s no telling yet what the result of this may be. I feel guilty when I stand before him.’

‘Because she believed she wasn't cut out for life in a big house, and worried that we would think she was in the way.’ She smiled sadly. ‘Poor mom! She is so humble and so kind. I really hope that dad will be nicer to her. But there’s no way to know yet what the outcome of this will be. I feel guilty when I stand in front of him.’

‘But he must feel glad that you have five thousand pounds.’

'But he must be glad that you have five thousand pounds.'

Marian delayed her reply for a moment, her eyes down.

Marian paused before responding, looking down.

‘Yes, perhaps he is glad of that.’

‘Yeah, maybe he is happy about that.’

‘Perhaps!’

"Maybe!"

‘He can’t help thinking, Dora, what use he could have made of it. It has always been his greatest wish to have a literary paper of his own—like The Study, you know. He would have used the money in that way, I am sure.’

‘He can't help thinking, Dora, about how he could have used it. It's always been his biggest dream to have his own literary magazine—like The Study, you know. He definitely would have spent the money that way, I'm sure.’

‘But, all the same, he ought to feel pleasure in your good fortune.’

‘But still, he should feel happy about your good luck.’

Marian turned to another subject.

Marian changed the subject.

‘Think of the Reardons; what a change all at once! What will they do, I wonder? Surely they won’t continue to live apart?’

‘Think about the Reardons; what a sudden change! What will they do, I wonder? Surely they won’t keep living separately?’

‘We shall hear from Jasper.’

"We'll hear from Jasper."

Whilst they were discussing the affairs of that branch of the family, Maud returned. There was ill-humour on her handsome face, and she greeted Marian but coldly. Throwing off her hat and gloves and mantle she listened to the repeated story of John Yule’s bequests.

While they were talking about that part of the family, Maud returned. There was irritation on her beautiful face, and she greeted Marian rather coolly. She tossed aside her hat, gloves, and coat and listened to the repeated account of John Yule’s bequests.

‘But why ever has Mrs Reardon so much more than anyone else?’ she asked.

‘But why does Mrs. Reardon have so much more than anyone else?’ she asked.

‘We can only suppose it is because she was the favourite child of the brother he liked best. Yet at her wedding he gave her nothing, and spoke contemptuously of her for marrying a literary man.’

‘We can only assume it’s because she was the favorite child of the brother he liked the most. Yet at her wedding, he gave her nothing and spoke dismissively of her for marrying a writer.’

‘Fortunate for her poor husband that her uncle was able to forgive her. I wonder what’s the date of the will? Who knows but he may have rewarded her for quarrelling with Mr Reardon.’

‘Lucky for her poor husband that her uncle was able to forgive her. I wonder what the date of the will is? Who knows, he might have rewarded her for arguing with Mr. Reardon.’

This excited a laugh.

This got a laugh.

‘I don’t know when the will was made,’ said Marian. ‘And I don’t know whether uncle had even heard of the Reardons’ misfortunes. I suppose he must have done. My cousin John was at the funeral, but not my aunt. I think it most likely father and John didn’t speak a word to each other. Fortunately the relatives were lost sight of in the great crowd of Wattleborough people; there was an enormous procession, of course.’

‘I don’t know when the will was made,’ said Marian. ‘And I don’t know if my uncle even knew about the Reardons’ troubles. I guess he must have. My cousin John was at the funeral, but my aunt wasn’t. I think it’s very likely that my father and John didn’t say a word to each other. Luckily, the relatives got lost in the huge crowd of Wattleborough people; there was a massive procession, of course.’

Maud kept glancing at her sister. The ill-humour had not altogether passed from her face, but it was now blended with reflectiveness.

Maud kept looking at her sister. The bad mood hadn’t completely left her face, but it was now mixed with a sense of contemplation.

A few moments more, and Marian had to hasten home. When she was gone the sisters looked at each other.

A few moments later, Marian had to hurry home. After she left, the sisters glanced at each other.

‘Five thousand pounds,’ murmured the elder. ‘I suppose that is considered nothing.’

‘Five thousand pounds,’ murmured the elder. ‘I guess that’s seen as nothing.’

‘I suppose so.—He was here when Marian came, but didn’t stay.’

‘I guess so.—He was here when Marian arrived, but he didn’t stick around.’

‘Then you’ll take him the news this evening?’

‘So you'll be delivering the news to him this evening?’

‘Yes,’ replied Dora. Then, after musing, ‘He seemed annoyed that you were at the Lanes’ again.’

‘Yeah,’ replied Dora. Then, after thinking for a moment, ‘He seemed annoyed that you were at the Lanes’ again.’

Maud made a movement of indifference.

Maud shrugged, showing she didn't care.

‘What has been putting you out?’

'What’s bothering you?'

‘Things were rather stupid. Some people who were to have come didn’t turn up. And—well, it doesn’t matter.’

‘Things were pretty dumb. Some folks who were supposed to show up didn't. And—well, it’s not important.’

She rose and glanced at herself in the little oblong mirror over the mantelpiece.

She stood up and looked at herself in the small, rectangular mirror above the mantel.

‘Did Jasper ever speak to you of a Miss Rupert?’ asked Dora.

‘Did Jasper ever mention a Miss Rupert to you?’ asked Dora.

‘Not that I remember.’

"I don't remember that."

‘What do you think? He told me in the calmest way that he didn’t see why Marian should think of him as anything but the most ordinary friend—said he had never given her reason to think anything else.’

‘What do you think? He told me in the calmest way that he didn’t see why Marian should think of him as anything but an ordinary friend—said he had never given her a reason to think otherwise.’

‘Indeed! And Miss Rupert is someone who has the honour of his preference?’

‘Indeed! And Miss Rupert is someone he prefers?’

‘He says she is about thirty, and rather masculine, but a great heiress. Jasper is shameful!’

‘He says she’s around thirty, a bit masculine, but a huge heiress. Jasper is awful!’

‘What do you expect? I consider it is your duty to let Marian know everything he says. Otherwise you help to deceive her. He has no sense of honour in such things.’

‘What do you expect? I think it’s your responsibility to tell Marian everything he says. Otherwise, you’re helping to deceive her. He has no sense of honor in these matters.’

Dora was so impatient to let her brother have the news that she left the house as soon as she had had tea on the chance of finding Jasper at home. She had not gone a dozen yards before she encountered him in person.

Dora was so eager to share the news with her brother that she left the house right after having tea, hoping to find Jasper at home. She had barely walked a dozen yards when she ran into him.

‘I was afraid Marian might still be with you,’ he said, laughing. ‘I should have asked the landlady. Well?’

‘I was worried Marian might still be with you,’ he said, chuckling. ‘I should have checked with the landlady. So?’

‘We can’t stand talking here. You had better come in.’

‘We can’t keep talking out here. You should come inside.’

He was in too much excitement to wait.

He was too excited to wait.

‘Just tell me. What has she?’

‘Just tell me. What does she have?’

Dora walked quickly towards the house, looking annoyed.

Dora hurried toward the house, looking frustrated.

‘Nothing at all? Then what has her father?’

‘Nothing at all? Then what has her dad?’

‘He has nothing,’ replied his sister, ‘and she has five thousand pounds.’

‘He has nothing,’ his sister replied, ‘and she has five thousand pounds.’

Jasper walked on with bent head. He said nothing more until he was upstairs in the sitting-room, where Maud greeted him carelessly.

Jasper walked on with his head down. He didn’t say anything else until he was upstairs in the living room, where Maud greeted him nonchalantly.

‘Mrs Reardon anything?’

'Any news about Mrs. Reardon?'

Dora informed him.

Dora told him.

‘What?’ he cried incredulously. ‘Ten thousand? You don’t say so!’

‘What?’ he exclaimed in disbelief. ‘Ten thousand? No way!’

He burst into uproarious laughter.

He burst into loud laughter.

‘So Reardon is rescued from the slum and the clerk’s desk! Well, I’m glad; by Jove, I am. I should have liked it better if Marian had had the ten thousand and he the five, but it’s an excellent joke. Perhaps the next thing will be that he’ll refuse to have anything to do with his wife’s money; that would be just like him.’ After amusing himself with this subject for a few minutes more, he turned to the window and stood there in silence.

‘So Reardon is saved from the slum and the clerk’s desk! Well, I’m glad; honestly, I am. I would have preferred it if Marian had gotten the ten thousand and he the five, but it’s a great joke. Maybe the next thing will be that he refuses to touch his wife’s money; that would be just like him.’ After amusing himself with this topic for a few more minutes, he turned to the window and stood there in silence.

‘Are you going to have tea with us?’ Dora inquired.

“Are you going to have tea with us?” Dora asked.

He did not seem to hear her. On a repetition of the inquiry, he answered absently:

He didn't seem to hear her. When she asked again, he replied absentmindedly:

‘Yes, I may as well. Then I can go home and get to work.’

‘Yeah, I might as well. Then I can go home and get started on my work.’

During the remainder of his stay he talked very little, and as Maud also was in an abstracted mood, tea passed almost in silence. On the point of departing he asked:

During the rest of his stay, he spoke very little, and since Maud was also lost in thought, tea went by almost in silence. Just as he was about to leave, he asked:

‘When is Marian likely to come here again?’

‘When is Marian probably coming here again?’

‘I haven’t the least idea,’ answered Dora.

'I have no idea,' answered Dora.

He nodded, and went his way.

He nodded and continued on his way.

It was necessary for him to work at a magazine article which he had begun this morning, and on reaching home he spread out his papers in the usual businesslike fashion. The subject out of which he was manufacturing ‘copy’ had its difficulties, and was not altogether congenial to him; this morning he had laboured with unwonted effort to produce about a page of manuscript, and now that he tried to resume the task his thoughts would not centre upon it. Jasper was too young to have thoroughly mastered the art of somnambulistic composition; to write, he was still obliged to give exclusive attention to the matter under treatment. Dr Johnson’s saying, that a man may write at any time if he will set himself doggedly to it, was often upon his lips, and had even been of help to him, as no doubt it has to many another man obliged to compose amid distracting circumstances; but the formula had no efficacy this evening. Twice or thrice he rose from his chair, paced the room with a determined brow, and sat down again with vigorous clutch of the pen; still he failed to excogitate a single sentence that would serve his purpose.

He needed to work on a magazine article that he had started that morning, and when he got home, he spread out his papers in his usual professional way. The topic he was trying to write about had its challenges and wasn't particularly appealing to him; that morning, he had put in a lot of effort to produce about a page of writing, and now that he was trying to continue, he couldn't focus on it. Jasper was too young to have completely mastered the skill of writing without conscious thought; to write, he still needed to fully concentrate on the subject at hand. Dr. Johnson’s saying that a person can write at any time if they force themselves to do it often came to mind and had even helped him before, just as it has for many others who had to write in distracting situations; but that advice wasn't working for him tonight. Two or three times, he got up from his chair, paced the room with a serious expression, and sat back down with a firm grip on the pen; yet, he still couldn't come up with a single sentence that would meet his needs.

‘I must have it out with myself before I can do anything,’ was his thought as he finally abandoned the endeavour. ‘I must make up my mind.’

‘I need to confront myself before I can do anything,’ he thought as he finally gave up the effort. ‘I need to decide.’

To this end he settled himself in an easy-chair and began to smoke cigarettes. Some dozen of these aids to reflection only made him so nervous that he could no longer remain alone. He put on his hat and overcoat and went out—to find that it was raining heavily. He returned for an umbrella, and before long was walking aimlessly about the Strand, unable to make up his mind whether to turn into a theatre or not. Instead of doing so, he sought a certain upper room of a familiar restaurant, where the day’s papers were to be seen, and perchance an acquaintance might be met. Only half-a-dozen men were there, reading and smoking, and all were unknown to him. He drank a glass of lager beer, skimmed the news of the evening, and again went out into the bad weather.

To that end, he settled into an armchair and started smoking cigarettes. A dozen of these aids to thinking only made him so anxious that he couldn’t stay alone anymore. He put on his hat and overcoat and went out—only to find it was pouring rain. He went back for an umbrella, and soon he was wandering around the Strand, unsure whether to go into a theater or not. Instead, he headed to a certain upper room in a familiar restaurant, where he could read the day’s papers and maybe run into someone he knew. Only half a dozen men were there, reading and smoking, and none of them were familiar to him. He had a glass of lager beer, skimmed through the evening news, and then stepped back out into the bad weather.

After all it was better to go home. Everything he encountered had an unsettling effect upon him, so that he was further than ever from the decision at which he wished to arrive. In Mornington Road he came upon Whelpdale, who was walking slowly under an umbrella.

After all, it was better to go home. Everything he faced had a disturbing effect on him, making him even farther from the decision he wanted to reach. On Mornington Road, he ran into Whelpdale, who was walking slowly under an umbrella.

‘I’ve just called at your place.’

‘I just stopped by your place.’

‘All right; come back if you like.’

‘Sure; come back if you want.’

‘But perhaps I shall waste your time?’ said Whelpdale, with unusual diffidence.

‘But maybe I’ll just waste your time?’ said Whelpdale, with unexpected shyness.

Reassured, he gladly returned to the house. Milvain acquainted him with the fact of John Yule’s death, and with its result so far as it concerned the Reardons. They talked of how the couple would probably behave under this decisive change of circumstances.

Reassured, he happily went back to the house. Milvain informed him about John Yule’s death and what that meant for the Reardons. They discussed how the couple would likely react to this significant change in their situation.

‘Biffen professes to know nothing about Mrs Reardon,’ said Whelpdale. ‘I suspect he keeps his knowledge to himself, out of regard for Reardon. It wouldn’t surprise me if they live apart for a long time yet.’

‘Biffen claims he doesn’t know anything about Mrs. Reardon,’ said Whelpdale. ‘I have a feeling he’s holding back what he knows out of respect for Reardon. It wouldn’t shock me if they end up living separately for quite a while longer.’

‘Not very likely. It was only want of money.’

‘Not very likely. It was just a lack of money.’

‘They’re not at all suited to each other. Mrs Reardon, no doubt, repents her marriage bitterly, and I doubt whether Reardon cares much for his wife.’

‘They really don't match each other at all. Mrs. Reardon probably regrets her marriage deeply, and I doubt Reardon cares much about his wife.’

‘As there’s no way of getting divorced they’ll make the best of it. Ten thousand pounds produce about four hundred a year; it’s enough to live on.’

‘Since there's no way to get a divorce, they'll make the most of it. Ten thousand pounds brings in about four hundred a year; that’s enough to live on.’

‘And be miserable on—if they no longer love each other.’

‘And be miserable on—if they no longer love each other.’

‘You’re such a sentimental fellow!’ cried Jasper. ‘I believe you seriously think that love—the sort of frenzy you understand by it—ought to endure throughout married life. How has a man come to your age with such primitive ideas?’

"You’re such a sentimental guy!" Jasper exclaimed. "I really think you believe that love—the kind of obsession you think it is—should last throughout married life. How has a man your age ended up with such outdated ideas?"

‘Well, I don’t know. Perhaps you err a little in the opposite direction.’

‘Well, I don’t know. Maybe you're a bit off in the other direction.’

‘I haven’t much faith in marrying for love, as you know. What’s more, I believe it’s the very rarest thing for people to be in love with each other. Reardon and his wife perhaps were an instance; perhaps—I’m not quite sure about her. As a rule, marriage is the result of a mild preference, encouraged by circumstances, and deliberately heightened into strong sexual feeling. You, of all men, know well enough that the same kind of feeling could be produced for almost any woman who wasn’t repulsive.’

‘I don’t have much faith in marrying for love, as you know. What’s more, I believe it’s extremely rare for people to truly be in love with each other. Reardon and his wife might have been an example; maybe—I’m not entirely sure about her. Usually, marriage comes from a mild interest, boosted by circumstances, and then purposely intensified into strong sexual attraction. You, of all people, know that the same kind of attraction could develop for almost any woman who wasn’t unattractive.’

‘The same kind of feeling; but there’s vast difference of degree.’

‘It’s the same kind of feeling, but there’s a huge difference in intensity.’

‘To be sure. I think it’s only a matter of degree. When it rises to the point of frenzy people may strictly be said to be in love; and, as I tell you, I think that comes to pass very rarely indeed. For my own part, I have no experience of it, and think I never shall have.’

‘Definitely. I think it’s just a matter of intensity. When it reaches the level of excitement, people can truly be considered in love; and, as I’m telling you, I believe that happens very rarely. Personally, I have no experience with it, and I doubt I ever will.’

‘I can’t say the same.’

"I can't say that."

They laughed.

They laughed.

‘I dare say you have imagined yourself in love—or really been so for aught I know—a dozen times. How the deuce you can attach any importance to such feeling where marriage is concerned I don’t understand.’

‘I bet you’ve imagined being in love—or maybe you actually have—for all I know—a dozen times. How on earth you can take any of those feelings seriously when it comes to marriage is beyond me.’

‘Well, now,’ said Whelpdale, ‘I have never upheld the theory—at least not since I was sixteen—that a man can be in love only once, or that there is one particular woman if he misses whom he can never be happy. There may be thousands of women whom I could love with equal sincerity.’

‘Well, now,’ said Whelpdale, ‘I’ve never believed the idea—at least not since I was sixteen—that a guy can only fall in love once, or that there’s one specific woman who, if he misses out on her, he can never be happy. There might be thousands of women that I could love just as sincerely.’

‘I object to the word “love” altogether. It has been vulgarised. Let us talk about compatibility. Now, I should say that, no doubt, and speaking scientifically, there is one particular woman supremely fitted to each man. I put aside consideration of circumstances; we know that circumstances will disturb any degree of abstract fitness. But in the nature of things there must be one woman whose nature is specially well adapted to harmonise with mine, or with yours. If there were any means of discovering this woman in each case, then I have no doubt it would be worth a man’s utmost effort to do so, and any amount of erotic jubilation would be reasonable when the discovery was made. But the thing is impossible, and, what’s more, we know what ridiculous fallibility people display when they imagine they have found the best substitute for that indiscoverable. This is what makes me impatient with sentimental talk about marriage. An educated man mustn’t play so into the hands of ironic destiny. Let him think he wants to marry a woman; but don’t let him exaggerate his feelings or idealise their nature.’

‘I don’t like the word “love” at all. It’s become cheap. Let’s talk about compatibility instead. Now, I should say that, without a doubt, and looking at it scientifically, there is one specific woman who is perfectly suited for each man. I’ll put aside the influence of circumstances; we know that circumstances can disrupt any level of abstract suitability. But inherently, there must be one woman whose nature is particularly well matched to mine or to yours. If there were any way to find this woman for each case, I’m sure it would be worth a man’s greatest effort to seek her out, and any amount of excitement would be justified once that discovery was made. But it’s impossible, and, moreover, we see how hilariously mistaken people can be when they think they’ve found the best replacement for something that can’t be found. This is what frustrates me about sentimental discussions on marriage. An educated man shouldn’t fall into the traps of ironic fate. He can think he wants to marry a woman, but he shouldn’t exaggerate his feelings or idealize who she is.’

‘There’s a good deal in all that,’ admitted Whelpdale, though discontentedly.

‘There’s a lot to that,’ Whelpdale admitted, though discontentedly.

‘There’s more than a good deal; there’s the last word on the subject. The days of romantic love are gone by. The scientific spirit has put an end to that kind of self-deception. Romantic love was inextricably blended with all sorts of superstitions—belief in personal immortality, in superior beings, in—all the rest of it. What we think of now is moral and intellectual and physical compatibility; I mean, if we are reasonable people.’

‘There’s more than just a good deal; there’s the final say on the issue. The days of romantic love are over. The rational mindset has ended that kind of self-deception. Romantic love was closely tied to all kinds of superstitions—belief in personal immortality, in higher powers, in—all the other stuff. What we focus on now is moral, intellectual, and physical compatibility; I mean, if we are sensible people.’

‘And if we are not so unfortunate as to fall in love with an incompatible,’ added Whelpdale, laughing.

‘And if we’re not so unlucky as to fall in love with someone who’s not a good match,’ added Whelpdale, laughing.

‘Well, that is a form of unreason—a blind desire which science could explain in each case. I rejoice that I am not subject to that form of epilepsy.’

‘Well, that’s a kind of irrationality—a blind urge that science could explain in every instance. I’m glad I’m not affected by that kind of epilepsy.’

‘You positively never were in love!’

‘You definitely were never in love!’

‘As you understand it, never. But I have felt a very distinct preference.’

‘As you see it, never. But I have felt a very clear preference.’

‘Based on what you think compatibility?’

‘What do you think about compatibility?’

‘Yes. Not strong enough to make me lose sight of prudence and advantage. No, not strong enough for that.’

‘Yes. Not strong enough to make me lose track of common sense and benefit. No, not strong enough for that.’

He seemed to be reassuring himself.

He looked like he was trying to reassure himself.

‘Then of course that can’t be called love,’ said Whelpdale.

‘Then of course that can't be called love,’ said Whelpdale.

‘Perhaps not. But, as I told you, a preference of this kind can be heightened into emotion, if one chooses. In the case of which I am thinking it easily might be. And I think it very improbable indeed that I should repent it if anything led me to indulge such an impulse.’

‘Maybe not. But, as I told you, a preference like this can be intensified into an emotion if someone decides to. In the situation I have in mind, it definitely could happen. And I find it very unlikely that I would regret it if something prompted me to follow such an impulse.’

Whelpdale smiled.

Whelpdale grinned.

‘This is very interesting. I hope it may lead to something.’

‘This is really interesting. I hope it leads to something.’

‘I don’t think it will. I am far more likely to marry some woman for whom I have no preference, but who can serve me materially.’

‘I don’t think that’s going to happen. I’m much more likely to marry some woman I don’t really care about, but who can support me financially.’

‘I confess that amazes me. I know the value of money as well as you do, but I wouldn’t marry a rich woman for whom I had no preference. By Jove, no!’

‘I admit that amazes me. I understand the value of money just as well as you do, but I wouldn’t marry a rich woman I didn't care for. No way!’

‘Yes, yes. You are a consistent sentimentalist.’

‘Yes, yes. You’re such a sentimental person.’

‘Doomed to perpetual disappointment,’ said the other, looking disconsolately about the room.

‘Cursed to never be satisfied,’ said the other, glancing hopelessly around the room.

‘Courage, my boy! I have every hope that I shall see you marry and repent.’

‘Courage, my boy! I truly believe that I will see you get married and regret it.’

‘I admit the danger of that. But shall I tell you something I have observed? Each woman I fall in love with is of a higher type than the one before.’

‘I acknowledge the risk of that. But can I share something I've noticed? Each woman I fall in love with is of a higher caliber than the one before.’

Jasper roared irreverently, and his companion looked hurt.

Jasper laughed loudly and without care, and his friend looked upset.

‘But I am perfectly serious, I assure you. To go back only three or four years. There was the daughter of my landlady in Barham Street; well, a nice girl enough, but limited, decidedly limited.

'But I’m completely serious, I promise you. Just think back to three or four years ago. There was my landlady’s daughter on Barham Street; she was a nice enough girl, but definitely not very bright.'

Next came that girl at the stationer’s—you remember? She was distinctly an advance, both in mind and person. Then there was Miss Embleton; yes, I think she made again an advance. She had been at Bedford College, you know, and was really a girl of considerable attainments; morally, admirable. Afterwards—’

Next came that girl at the stationer’s—you remember? She was definitely a step up, both in intelligence and looks. Then there was Miss Embleton; yes, I think she was another improvement. She had been at Bedford College, you know, and was actually a girl with considerable skills; morally, admirable. Afterwards—

He paused.

He took a moment.

‘The maiden from Birmingham, wasn’t it?’ said Jasper, again exploding.

‘The girl from Birmingham, right?’ said Jasper, bursting out again.

‘Yes, it was. Well, I can’t be quite sure. But in many respects that girl was my ideal; she really was.’

‘Yeah, it was. Well, I can’t be completely sure. But in a lot of ways, that girl was my ideal; she definitely was.’

‘As you once or twice told me at the time.’

‘As you told me a couple of times back then.’

‘I really believe she would rank above Miss Embleton—at all events from my point of view. And that’s everything, you know. It’s the effect a woman produces on one that has to be considered.’

‘I truly believe she would be better than Miss Embleton—at least from my perspective. And that’s what really matters, you know. It’s the impact a woman has on someone that needs to be taken into account.’

‘The next should be a paragon,’ said Jasper.

‘The next one should be perfect,’ said Jasper.

‘The next?’

‘What’s next?’

Whelpdale again looked about the room, but added nothing, and fell into a long silence.

Whelpdale glanced around the room again but said nothing and sank into a long silence.

When left to himself Jasper walked about a little, then sat down at his writing-table, for he felt easier in mind, and fancied that he might still do a couple of hours’ work before going to bed. He did in fact write half-a-dozen lines, but with the effort came back his former mood. Very soon the pen dropped, and he was once more in the throes of anxious mental debate.

When he was on his own, Jasper walked around a bit, then sat down at his writing desk because he felt more relaxed and thought he could still get a couple of hours of work done before going to bed. He did manage to write a few lines, but as he tried, his earlier feelings returned. Before long, his pen slipped from his hand, and he was once again caught up in a whirlwind of anxious thoughts.

He sat till after midnight, and when he went to his bedroom it was with a lingering step, which proved him still a prey to indecision.

He sat up until after midnight, and when he finally went to his bedroom, he did so with a hesitant step, which showed he was still struggling with indecision.





PART FOUR





CHAPTER XXIII. A PROPOSED INVESTMENT

Alfred Yule’s behaviour under his disappointment seemed to prove that even for him the uses of adversity could be sweet. On the day after his return home he displayed a most unwonted mildness in such remarks as he addressed to his wife, and his bearing towards Marian was gravely gentle. At meals he conversed, or rather monologised, on literary topics, with occasionally one of his grim jokes, pointed for Marian’s appreciation. He became aware that the girl had been overtaxing her strength of late, and suggested a few weeks of recreation among new novels. The coldness and gloom which had possessed him when he made a formal announcement of the news appeared to have given way before the sympathy manifested by his wife and daughter; he was now sorrowful, but resigned.

Alfred Yule's reaction to his disappointment seemed to show that, even for him, the positive side of hardship could be uplifting. The day after he returned home, he demonstrated an unusual calmness in the way he spoke to his wife, and he treated Marian with sincere kindness. At mealtimes, he talked extensively, or rather lectured, on literary subjects, sometimes throwing in one of his dark jokes, aimed at Marian's understanding. He realized that the girl had been pushing herself too hard recently and recommended a few weeks of relaxation with some new novels. The coldness and sadness that had overcome him when he formally shared the news seemed to fade in the presence of his wife and daughter's support; he was now sad but accepting.

He explained to Marian the exact nature of her legacy. It was to be paid out of her uncle’s share in a wholesale stationery business, with which John Yule had been connected for the last twenty years, but from which he had not long ago withdrawn a large portion of his invested capital. This house was known as ‘Turberville & Co.,’ a name which Marian now heard for the first time.

He explained to Marian exactly what her inheritance was. It would come from her uncle's share in a wholesale stationery business, with which John Yule had been involved for the last twenty years, but from which he had recently pulled out a significant amount of his invested capital. This company was called ‘Turberville & Co.,’ a name Marian was hearing for the first time.

‘I knew nothing of his association with them,’ said her father. ‘They tell me that seven or eight thousand pounds will be realised from that source; it seems a pity that the investment was not left to you intact. Whether there will be any delay in withdrawing the money I can’t say.’

‘I didn’t know anything about his connection with them,’ her father said. ‘I’ve been told that we’ll get seven or eight thousand pounds from that source; it’s a shame that the investment wasn’t left to you in full. I can’t say if there will be any delay in getting the money out.’

The executors were two old friends of the deceased, one of them a former partner in his paper-making concern.

The executors were two long-time friends of the deceased, one of whom used to be a partner in his paper-making business.

On the evening of the second day, about an hour after dinner was over, Mr Hinks called at the house; as usual, he went into the study. Before long came a second visitor, Mr Quarmby, who joined Yule and Hinks. The three had all sat together for some time, when Marian, who happened to be coming down stairs, saw her father at the study door.

On the evening of the second day, about an hour after dinner, Mr. Hinks stopped by the house; like always, he went into the study. Before long, another visitor, Mr. Quarmby, arrived and joined Yule and Hinks. The three of them sat together for a while when Marian, coming down the stairs, spotted her father at the study door.

‘Ask your mother to let us have some supper at a quarter to ten,’ he said urbanely. ‘And come in, won’t you? We are only gossiping.’

‘Ask your mom if we can have some dinner at a quarter to ten,’ he said smoothly. ‘And come in, will you? We’re just chatting.’

It had not often happened that Marian was invited to join parties of this kind.

It hadn't happened very often that Marian was invited to join parties like this.

‘Do you wish me to come?’ she asked.

‘Do you want me to come?’ she asked.

‘Yes, I should like you to, if you have nothing particular to do.’

‘Yeah, I’d like you to, if you don’t have anything specific going on.’

Marian informed Mrs Yule that the visitors would have supper, and then went to the study. Mr Quarmby was smoking a pipe; Mr Hinks, who on grounds of economy had long since given up tobacco, sat with his hands in his trouser pockets, and his long, thin legs tucked beneath the chair; both rose and greeted Marian with more than ordinary warmth.

Marian told Mrs. Yule that the guests would have dinner, and then she went to the study. Mr. Quarmby was smoking a pipe; Mr. Hinks, who had given up tobacco a while ago to save money, sat with his hands in his pockets and his long, thin legs tucked under the chair; both stood up and welcomed Marian with extra warmth.

‘Will you allow me five or six more puffs?’ asked Mr Quarmby, laying one hand on his ample stomach and elevating his pipe as if it were a glass of beaded liquor. ‘I shall then have done.’

‘Can I have five or six more puffs?’ asked Mr. Quarmby, placing one hand on his big stomach and holding his pipe up like it was a drink of fancy liquor. ‘Then I’ll be done.’

‘As many more as you like,’ Marian replied.

‘As many more as you want,’ Marian replied.

The easiest chair was placed for her, Mr Hinks hastening to perform this courtesy, and her father apprised her of the topic they were discussing.

The comfiest chair was set up for her, with Mr. Hinks quickly taking care of this gesture, and her dad informed her about the topic they were talking about.

‘What’s your view, Marian? Is there anything to be said for the establishment of a literary academy in England?’

‘What do you think, Marian? Is there any reason to support the creation of a literary academy in England?’

Mr Quarmby beamed benevolently upon her, and Mr Hinks, his scraggy neck at full length, awaited her reply with a look of the most respectful attention.

Mr. Quarmby smiled kindly at her, while Mr. Hinks, his thin neck stretched out, waited for her response with an expression of utmost respect.

‘I really think we have quite enough literary quarrelling as it is,’ the girl replied, casting down her eyes and smiling.

‘I really think we have more than enough literary arguing as it is,’ the girl replied, looking down and smiling.

Mr Quarmby uttered a hollow chuckle, Mr Hinks laughed thinly and exclaimed, ‘Very good indeed! Very good!’ Yule affected to applaud with impartial smile.

Mr. Quarmby let out a hollow chuckle, Mr. Hinks laughed weakly and said, ‘Very good indeed! Very good!’ Yule pretended to applaud with a neutral smile.

‘It wouldn’t harmonise with the Anglo-Saxon spirit,’ remarked Mr Hinks, with an air of diffident profundity.

‘It wouldn’t fit with the Anglo-Saxon spirit,’ Mr. Hinks commented, with an air of shy wisdom.

Yule held forth on the subject for a few minutes in laboured phrases. Presently the conversation turned to periodicals, and the three men were unanimous in an opinion that no existing monthly or quarterly could be considered as representing the best literary opinion.

Yule spoke on the topic for a few minutes in complicated terms. Eventually, the conversation shifted to magazines, and the three men agreed that no current monthly or quarterly publication could be seen as reflecting the best literary views.

‘We want,’ remarked Mr Quarmby, ‘we want a monthly review which shall deal exclusively with literature. The Fortnightly, the Contemporary—they are very well in their way, but then they are mere miscellanies. You will find one solid literary article amid a confused mass of politics and economics and general clap-trap.’

‘We want,’ said Mr. Quarmby, ‘we want a monthly review that focuses entirely on literature. The Fortnightly, the Contemporary—they’re good in their own right, but they’re just a collection of random topics. You’ll find one strong literary article among a jumbled mess of politics, economics, and general nonsense.’

‘Articles on the currency and railway statistics and views of evolution,’ said Mr Hinks, with a look as if something were grating between his teeth.

‘Articles on currency and railway statistics and opinions on development,’ said Mr. Hinks, with a look as if something was bothering him.

‘The quarterlies?’ put in Yule. ‘Well, the original idea of the quarterlies was that there are not enough important books published to occupy solid reviewers more than four times a year. That may be true, but then a literary monthly would include much more than professed reviews. Hinks’s essays on the historical drama would have come out in it very well; or your “Spanish Poets,” Quarmby.’

‘The quarterlies?’ Yule interjected. ‘The original idea behind the quarterlies was that there aren't enough significant books published to keep serious reviewers busy more than four times a year. That might be true, but a literary monthly would cover much more than just standard reviews. Hinks's essays on historical drama would fit nicely in it, or your “Spanish Poets,” Quarmby.’

‘I threw out the idea to Jedwood the other day,’ said Mr Quarmby, ‘and he seemed to nibble at it.’

‘I mentioned the idea to Jedwood the other day,’ said Mr. Quarmby, ‘and he seemed to be interested in it.’

‘Yes, yes,’ came from Yule; ‘but Jedwood has so many irons in the fire. I doubt if he has the necessary capital at command just now. No doubt he’s the man, if some capitalist would join him.’

‘Yes, yes,’ Yule replied; ‘but Jedwood has so many projects going on. I doubt he has the necessary funds available right now. No doubt he’s the right person, if only a capitalist would partner with him.’

‘No enormous capital needed,’ opined Mr Quarmby. ‘The thing would pay its way almost from the first. It would take a place between the literary weeklies and the quarterlies. The former are too academic, the latter too massive, for multitudes of people who yet have strong literary tastes. Foreign publications should be liberally dealt with. But, as Hinks says, no meddling with the books that are no books—biblia abiblia; nothing about essays on bimetallism and treatises for or against vaccination.’

‘No huge capital needed,’ said Mr. Quarmby. ‘It would be profitable almost right from the start. It would fit in between the literary weeklies and the quarterlies. The weeklies are too academic, and the quarterlies are too heavy for many people who still have a strong interest in literature. We should cover foreign publications generously. But, as Hinks says, no messing around with things that aren’t really books—biblia abiblia; nothing about essays on bimetallism and treatises for or against vaccination.’

Even here, in the freedom of a friend’s study, he laughed his Reading-room laugh, folding both hands upon his expansive waistcoat.

Even here, in the comfort of a friend’s study, he laughed his Reading-room laugh, folding both hands on his big waistcoat.

‘Fiction? I presume a serial of the better kind might be admitted?’ said Yule.

‘Fiction? I assume a good series might be allowed?’ said Yule.

‘That would be advisable, no doubt. But strictly of the better kind.’

‘That would definitely be a good idea, without a doubt. But it should definitely be of the best kind.’

‘Oh, strictly of the better kind,’ chimed in Mr Hinks.

"Oh, definitely of the best kind," added Mr. Hinks.

They pursued the discussion as if they were an editorial committee planning a review of which the first number was shortly to appear. It occupied them until Mrs Yule announced at the door that supper was ready.

They carried on the conversation like an editorial team getting ready for a review that was about to be published. They were deep in discussion until Mrs. Yule called from the door that dinner was ready.

During the meal Marian found herself the object of unusual attention; her father troubled to inquire if the cut of cold beef he sent her was to her taste, and kept an eye on her progress. Mr Hinks talked to her in a tone of respectful sympathy, and Mr Quarmby was paternally jovial when he addressed her. Mrs Yule would have kept silence, in her ordinary way, but this evening her husband made several remarks which he had adapted to her intellect, and even showed that a reply would be graciously received.

During the meal, Marian noticed that she was getting a lot of unusual attention; her father took the trouble to ask if the cold beef he sent her was to her liking and closely monitored how much she was eating. Mr. Hinks spoke to her with a tone of respectful sympathy, while Mr. Quarmby was cheerfully paternal when he talked to her. Mrs. Yule would usually be quiet, but tonight her husband made several comments that he tailored to her understanding and even indicated that a response would be welcomed.

Mother and daughter remained together when the men withdrew to their tobacco and toddy. Neither made allusion to the wonderful change, but they talked more light-heartedly than for a long time.

Mother and daughter stayed together when the men went off to their tobacco and drinks. Neither of them mentioned the amazing change, but they chatted more cheerfully than they had in a long time.

On the morrow Yule began by consulting Marian with regard to the disposition of matter in an essay he was writing. What she said he weighed carefully, and seemed to think that she had set his doubts at rest.

On the next day, Yule started by talking to Marian about how to organize the content in an essay he was writing. He took her advice seriously and seemed to feel that she had eased his uncertainties.

‘Poor old Hinks!’ he said presently, with a sigh. ‘Breaking up, isn’t he? He positively totters in his walk. I’m afraid he’s the kind of man to have a paralytic stroke; it wouldn’t astonish me to hear at any moment that he was lying helpless.’

‘Poor old Hinks!’ he said after a moment, with a sigh. ‘He’s falling apart, isn’t he? He practically staggers when he walks. I’m worried he’s the type of guy who might have a stroke; it wouldn’t surprise me at all to hear that he’s lying there helpless.’

‘What ever would become of him in that case?’

‘What would happen to him in that case?’

‘Goodness knows! One might ask the same of so many of us. What would become of me, for instance, if I were incapable of work?’

‘Goodness knows! One might ask the same of so many of us. What would happen to me, for instance, if I couldn’t work?’

Marian could make no reply.

Marian couldn't reply.

‘There’s something I’ll just mention to you,’ he went on in a lowered tone, ‘though I don’t wish you to take it too seriously. I’m beginning to have a little trouble with my eyes.’

‘There’s something I want to mention to you,’ he continued in a softer tone, ‘but I don’t want you to take it too seriously. I’m starting to have a bit of trouble with my eyes.’

She looked at him, startled.

She looked at him, surprised.

‘With your eyes?’

'With your eyes?'

‘Nothing, I hope; but—well, I think I shall see an oculist. One doesn’t care to face a prospect of failing sight, perhaps of cataract, or something of that kind; still, it’s better to know the facts, I should say.’

‘Nothing, I hope; but—well, I think I’ll see an eye doctor. Nobody wants to deal with the possibility of losing their sight, maybe even having cataracts or something similar; still, it’s better to know the facts, I would say.’

‘By all means go to an oculist,’ said Marian, earnestly.

“Definitely go to an eye doctor,” Marian said earnestly.

‘Don’t disturb yourself about it. It may be nothing at all. But in any case I must change my glasses.’

‘Don’t worry about it. It might be nothing at all. But either way, I need to change my glasses.’

He rustled over some slips of manuscript, whilst Marian regarded him anxiously.

He shuffled through some papers, while Marian watched him nervously.

‘Now, I appeal to you, Marian,’ he continued: ‘could I possibly save money out of an income that has never exceeded two hundred and fifty pounds, and often—I mean even in latter years—has been much less?’

‘Now, I’m asking you, Marian,’ he went on: ‘how could I possibly save money from an income that has never gone over two hundred fifty pounds, and often—I mean even in recent years—has been much less?’

‘I don’t see how you could.’

‘I don’t see how you can.’

‘In one way, of course, I have managed it. My life is insured for five hundred pounds. But that is no provision for possible disablement. If I could no longer earn money with my pen, what would become of me?’

‘In a way, I’ve taken care of it. My life is insured for five hundred pounds. But that doesn’t cover the risk of becoming disabled. If I couldn’t earn money with my writing anymore, what would happen to me?’

Marian could have made an encouraging reply, but did not venture to utter her thoughts.

Marian could have given an encouraging reply, but didn’t dare to express her thoughts.

‘Sit down,’ said her father. ‘You are not to work for a few days, and I myself shall be none the worse for a morning’s rest. Poor old Hinks! I suppose we shall help him among us, somehow. Quarmby, of course, is comparatively flourishing. Well, we have been companions for a quarter of a century, we three. When I first met Quarmby I was a Grub Street gazetteer, and I think he was even poorer than I. A life of toil! A life of toil!’

‘Sit down,’ her father said. ‘You’re not going to work for a few days, and I could use a morning to rest. Poor old Hinks! I guess we’ll find a way to help him. Quarmby, of course, is doing somewhat better. Well, we’ve been friends for twenty-five years, the three of us. When I first met Quarmby, I was a struggling journalist, and I think he was even worse off than I was. What a life of hard work! What a life of hard work!’

‘That it has been, indeed.’

'It truly has been.'

‘By-the-bye’—he threw an arm over the back of his chair—‘what did you think of our imaginary review, the thing we were talking about last night?’

‘By the way’—he threw an arm over the back of his chair—‘what did you think of our fictional review, the thing we discussed last night?’

‘There are so many periodicals,’ replied Marian, doubtfully.

"There are so many magazines," Marian replied, uncertainly.

‘So many? My dear child, if we live another ten years we shall see the number trebled.’

‘So many? My dear child, if we live another ten years, we’ll see the number triple.’

‘Is it desirable?’

"Is it appealing?"

‘That there should be such growth of periodicals? Well, from one point of view, no. No doubt they take up the time which some people would give to solid literature. But, on the other hand, there’s a far greater number of people who would probably not read at all, but for the temptations of these short and new articles; and they may be induced to pass on to substantial works. Of course it all depends on the quality of the periodical matter you offer. Now, magazines like’—he named two or three of popular stamp—‘might very well be dispensed with, unless one regards them as an alternative to the talking of scandal or any other vicious result of total idleness. But such a monthly as we projected would be of distinct literary value. There can be no doubt that someone or other will shortly establish it.’

'Is there really such an increase in magazines? Well, from one perspective, no. They definitely take up the time that some people would spend on serious literature. But, on the flip side, a much larger number of people might not read at all if it weren't for the appeal of these short and fresh articles; and they might be encouraged to move on to more substantial works. Of course, it all depends on the quality of the periodical content you provide. Now, magazines like'—he mentioned a couple of popular ones—'could very well be done away with, unless you see them as an alternative to gossiping or any other negative outcome of complete idleness. But a monthly publication like we discussed would have significant literary value. There's no doubt that someone will soon launch it.'

‘I am afraid,’ said Marian, ‘I haven’t so much sympathy with literary undertakings as you would like me to have.’

‘I’m afraid,’ said Marian, ‘I don’t have as much sympathy for literary projects as you’d like me to have.’

Money is a great fortifier of self-respect. Since she had become really conscious of her position as the owner of five thousand pounds, Marian spoke with a steadier voice, walked with firmer step; mentally she felt herself altogether a less dependent being. She might have confessed this lukewarmness towards literary enterprise in the anger which her father excited eight or nine days ago, but at that time she could not have uttered her opinion calmly, deliberately, as now. The smile which accompanied the words was also new; it signified deliverance from pupilage.

Money is a powerful booster of self-respect. Now that she was truly aware of her status as the owner of five thousand pounds, Marian spoke with a steadier voice and walked with a firmer step; mentally, she felt much less dependent. She could have admitted her lack of enthusiasm for pursuing a literary career during the anger her father stirred up eight or nine days ago, but back then, she wouldn’t have been able to express her feelings calmly and thoughtfully like she can now. The smile that accompanied her words was also new; it represented her liberation from being a student.

‘I have felt that,’ returned her father, after a slight pause to command his voice, that it might be suave instead of scornful. ‘I greatly fear that I have made your life something of a martyrdom——’

‘I have felt that,’ her father replied, after taking a moment to steady his voice, making it more gentle instead of contemptuous. ‘I really worry that I’ve made your life a bit of a struggle—’

‘Don’t think I meant that, father. I am speaking only of the general question. I can’t be quite so zealous as you are, that’s all. I love books, but I could wish people were content for a while with those we already have.’

‘Don’t think I meant that, Dad. I’m just talking about the bigger picture. I can’t be as passionate as you are, that’s all. I love books, but I wish people would be okay for a bit with the ones we already have.’

‘My dear Marian, don’t suppose that I am out of sympathy with you here. Alas! how much of my work has been mere drudgery, mere labouring for a livelihood! How gladly I would have spent much more of my time among the great authors, with no thought of making money of them! If I speak approvingly of a scheme for a new periodical, it is greatly because of my necessities.’

‘My dear Marian, don’t think that I lack sympathy for you here. Sadly, so much of my work has been just hard work, just struggling to make a living! How happily I would have spent much more of my time among the great authors, without any thought of profiting from them! If I express support for a plan for a new magazine, it’s mainly due to my financial needs.’

He paused and looked at her. Marian returned the look.

He stopped and gazed at her. Marian met his gaze.

‘You would of course write for it,’ she said.

‘You would of course write for it,’ she said.

‘Marian, why shouldn’t I edit it? Why shouldn’t it be your property?’

‘Marian, why shouldn’t I edit it? Why shouldn’t it be yours?’

‘My property—?’

‘My property—?’

She checked a laugh. There came into her mind a more disagreeable suspicion than she had ever entertained of her father. Was this the meaning of his softened behaviour? Was he capable of calculated hypocrisy? That did not seem consistent with his character, as she knew it.

She stifled a laugh. A more unpleasant suspicion than she had ever had about her father crossed her mind. Was this what his gentler behavior meant? Could he be capable of deliberate deception? That didn't seem to fit with the person she knew him to be.

‘Let us talk it over,’ said Yule. He was in visible agitation and his voice shook. ‘The idea may well startle you at first. It will seem to you that I propose to make away with your property before you have even come into possession of it.’ He laughed. ‘But, in fact, what I have in mind is merely an investment for your capital, and that an admirable one. Five thousand pounds at three per cent.—one doesn’t care to reckon on more—represents a hundred and fifty a year. Now, there can be very little doubt that, if it were invested in literary property such as I have in mind, it would bring you five times that interest, and before long perhaps much more. Of course I am now speaking in the roughest outline. I should have to get trustworthy advice; complete and detailed estimates would be submitted to you. At present I merely suggest to you this form of investment.’

“Let’s discuss this,” Yule said. He was clearly anxious, and his voice trembled. “You might find the idea shocking at first. It might seem like I’m suggesting you give up your property before you even get it.” He chuckled. “But actually, what I have in mind is just a way to invest your capital, and a great one at that. Five thousand pounds at three percent—most people don’t usually think about more—would give you a hundred and fifty a year. Now, it’s pretty clear that if it were invested in the kind of literary property I’m thinking about, it could earn you five times that interest, and maybe even a lot more down the road. Of course, I’m just giving you a rough idea. I’d need to get reliable advice; complete and detailed estimates would be presented to you. For now, I’m just suggesting this type of investment.”

He watched her face eagerly, greedily. When Marian’s eyes rose to his he looked away.

He watched her face with excitement, almost hungrily. When Marian’s eyes met his, he looked away.

‘Then, of course,’ she said, ‘you don’t expect me to give any decided answer.’

‘Then, of course,’ she said, ‘you don’t expect me to give any definite answer.’

‘Of course not—of course not. I merely put before you the chief advantages of such an investment. As I am a selfish old fellow, I’ll talk about the benefit to myself first of all. I should be editor of the new review; I should draw a stipend sufficient to all my needs—quite content, at first, to take far less than another man would ask, and to progress with the advance of the periodical. This position would enable me to have done with mere drudgery; I should only write when I felt called to do so—when the spirit moved me.’ Again he laughed, as though desirous of keeping his listener in good humour. ‘My eyes would be greatly spared henceforth.’

‘Of course not—of course not. I’m just laying out the main benefits of such an investment. Being the selfish old man I am, I'll focus on how it helps me first. I would be the editor of the new review; I’d earn a salary that meets all my needs—completely happy to start with much less than anyone else would ask for, and to grow along with the magazine. This role would let me ditch the boring work; I’d only write when I felt inspired—when the mood struck me.’ He laughed again, as if wanting to keep his listener in a good mood. ‘My eyes would be a lot less strained from now on.’

He dwelt on that point, waiting its effect on Marian. As she said nothing he proceeded:

He lingered on that point, gauging its impact on Marian. Since she didn’t say anything, he continued:

‘And suppose I really were doomed to lose my sight in the course of a few years, am I wrong in thinking that the proprietor of this periodical would willingly grant a small annuity to the man who had firmly established it?’

‘And what if I really am going to lose my sight in a few years, am I wrong to think that the owner of this magazine would gladly provide a small annuity to the person who built it up?’

‘I see the force of all that,’ said Marian; ‘but it takes for granted that the periodical will be successful.’

‘I see the point of all that,’ said Marian; ‘but it assumes that the magazine will be successful.’

‘It does. In the hands of a publisher like Jedwood—a vigorous man of the new school—its success could scarcely be doubtful.’

'It does. In the hands of a publisher like Jedwood—a dynamic guy from the new generation—its success would hardly be in question.'

‘Do you think five thousand pounds would be enough to start such a review?’

‘Do you think five thousand pounds would be enough to start that review?’

‘Well, I can say nothing definite on that point. For one thing, the coat must be made according to the cloth; expenditure can be largely controlled without endangering success. Then again, I think Jedwood would take a share in the venture. These are details. At present I only want to familiarise you with the thought that an investment of this sort will very probably offer itself to you.’

‘Well, I can’t say anything definite about that. For one thing, the coat has to be made to fit the fabric; you can manage costs effectively without compromising success. Also, I think Jedwood would be interested in getting involved in this venture. These are just details. Right now, I just want to make you aware that an investment like this will most likely come your way.’

‘It would be better if we called it a speculation,’ said Marian, smiling uneasily.

‘It would be better if we called it a guess,’ said Marian, smiling uneasily.

Her one object at present was to oblige her father to understand that the suggestion by no means lured her. She could not tell him that what he proposed was out of the question, though as yet that was the light in which she saw it. His subtlety of approach had made her feel justified in dealing with him in a matter-of-fact way. He must see that she was not to be cajoled. Obviously, and in the nature of the case, he was urging a proposal in which he himself had all faith; but Marian knew his judgment was far from infallible. It mitigated her sense of behaving unkindly to reflect that in all likelihood this disposal of her money would be the worst possible for her own interests, and therefore for his. If, indeed, his dark forebodings were warranted, then upon her would fall the care of him, and the steadiness with which she faced that responsibility came from a hope of which she could not speak.

Her main goal right now was to make her father realize that his suggestion didn’t appeal to her at all. She couldn’t tell him that what he was proposing was completely out of the question, although that was definitely how she saw it. His clever way of approaching things made her feel justified in being straightforward with him. He had to understand that she wasn’t going to be manipulated. Clearly, he was pushing a proposal he truly believed in, but Marian knew his judgment wasn’t infallible. It eased her feeling of being unkind to think that this arrangement for her money would likely be the worst for her own interests, and consequently, for his as well. If his dark predictions turned out to be true, then the burden of caring for him would fall on her, and the strength with which she faced that responsibility came from a hope she couldn’t verbalize.

‘Name it as you will,’ returned her father, hardly suppressing a note of irritation. ‘True, every commercial enterprise is a speculation. But let me ask you one question, and beg you to reply frankly. Do you distrust my ability to conduct this periodical?’

‘Call it what you like,’ her father replied, barely hiding his irritation. ‘It’s true that every business venture carries some risk. But let me ask you a question, and please answer honestly. Do you doubt my ability to run this publication?’

She did. She knew that he was not in touch with the interests of the day, and that all manner of considerations akin to the prime end of selling his review would make him an untrustworthy editor.

She did. She knew that he wasn't aware of what was popular, and that all kinds of factors related to the main goal of selling his review would make him an unreliable editor.

But how could she tell him this?

But how could she say this to him?

‘My opinion would be worthless,’ she replied.

‘My opinion wouldn’t mean anything,’ she replied.

‘If Jedwood were disposed to put confidence in me, you also would?’

‘If Jedwood was willing to trust me, would you be too?’

‘There’s no need to talk of that now, father. Indeed, I can’t say anything that would sound like a promise.’

‘There’s no need to discuss that right now, Dad. Honestly, I can’t say anything that would sound like a promise.’

He flashed a glance at her. Then she was more than doubtful?

He gave her a quick look. Was she really more than unsure?

‘But you have no objection, Marian, to talk in a friendly way of a project that would mean so much to me?’

‘But you don't mind, Marian, discussing a project that would mean so much to me in a friendly way?’

‘But I am afraid to encourage you,’ she replied, frankly. ‘It is impossible for me to say whether I can do as you wish, or not.’

‘But I'm afraid to encourage you,’ she replied honestly. ‘I can't say for sure if I can do what you want or not.’

‘Yes, yes; I perfectly understand that. Heaven forbid that I should regard you as a child to be led independently of your own views and wishes! With so large a sum of money at stake, it would be monstrous if I acted rashly, and tried to persuade you to do the same. The matter will have to be most gravely considered.’

‘Yes, yes; I totally get that. God forbid I should see you as someone to be guided without considering your own opinions and desires! With such a huge amount of money on the line, it would be outrageous for me to act carelessly and try to convince you to do the same. This situation needs to be taken very seriously.’

‘Yes.’ She spoke mechanically.

“Yeah.” She spoke robotically.

‘But if only it should come to something! You don’t know what it would mean to me, Marian.’

‘But if only it could lead to something! You don’t know what it would mean to me, Marian.’

‘Yes, father; I know very well how you think and feel about it.’

‘Yes, Dad; I understand exactly how you think and feel about it.’

‘Do you?’ He leaned forward, his features working under stress of emotion. ‘If I could see myself the editor of an influential review, all my bygone toils and sufferings would be as nothing; I should rejoice in them as the steps to this triumph. Meminisse juvabit! My dear, I am not a man fitted for subordinate places. My nature is framed for authority. The failure of all my undertakings rankles so in my heart that sometimes I feel capable of every brutality, every meanness, every hateful cruelty. To you I have behaved shamefully. Don’t interrupt me, Marian. I have treated you abominably, my child, my dear daughter—and all the time with a full sense of what I was doing. That’s the punishment of faults such as mine. I hate myself for every harsh word and angry look I have given you; at the time, I hated myself!’

‘Do you?’ He leaned forward, his features tense with emotion. ‘If I could see myself as the editor of an influential review, all my past struggles and sufferings would seem insignificant; I would celebrate them as the steps leading to this success. Meminisse juvabit! My dear, I’m not someone who fits into subordinate roles. My nature is meant for leadership. The failures of all my efforts weigh heavily on my heart that sometimes I feel capable of every cruelty, every mean act, every hateful deed. I’ve treated you poorly. Don’t interrupt me, Marian. I have behaved horribly towards you, my child, my dear daughter—and all the while, I fully knew what I was doing. That’s the consequence of faults like mine. I despise myself for every harsh word and angry glance I’ve thrown your way; at the time, I hated myself!’

‘Father—’

‘Dad—’

‘No, no; let me speak, Marian. You have forgiven me; I know it. You were always ready to forgive, dear. Can I ever forget that evening when I spoke like a brute, and you came afterwards and addressed me as if the wrong had been on your side? It burns in my memory. It wasn’t I who spoke; it was the demon of failure, of humiliation. My enemies sit in triumph, and scorn at me; the thought of it is infuriating. Have I deserved this? Am I the inferior of—of those men who have succeeded and now try to trample on me? No! I am not! I have a better brain and a better heart!’

‘No, no; let me speak, Marian. You’ve forgiven me; I know it. You’ve always been quick to forgive, dear. How could I ever forget that evening when I acted like a jerk, and you came afterward and treated me as if you were the one who had done wrong? That’s burned into my memory. It wasn’t me talking; it was the demon of failure and humiliation. My enemies sit back, feeling victorious, and mock me; just thinking about it is infuriating. Have I earned this? Am I less than—than those men who have succeeded and now try to crush me? No! I am not! I have a better mind and a better heart!’

Listening to this strange outpouring, Marian more than forgave the hypocrisy of the last day or two. Nay, could it be called hypocrisy? It was only his better self declared at the impulse of a passionate hope.

Listening to this strange outpouring, Marian completely forgave the hypocrisy of the past couple of days. Or could it even be called hypocrisy? It was just his better self revealed in a moment of passionate hope.

‘Why should you think so much of these troubles, father? Is it such a great matter that narrow-minded people triumph over you?’

‘Why do you care so much about these problems, Dad? Is it really that important that narrow-minded people win against you?’

‘Narrow-minded?’ He clutched at the word. ‘You admit they are that?’

‘Narrow-minded?’ He grabbed onto the word. ‘You acknowledge they are that?’

‘I feel very sure that Mr Fadge is.’

‘I feel pretty confident that Mr. Fadge is.’

‘Then you are not on his side against me?’

‘So you’re not on his side against me?’

‘How could you suppose such a thing?’

‘How could you even think that?’

‘Well, well; we won’t talk of that. Perhaps it isn’t a great matter. No—from a philosophical point of view, such things are unspeakably petty. But I am not much of a philosopher.’ He laughed, with a break in his voice. ‘Defeat in life is defeat, after all; and unmerited failure is a bitter curse. You see, I am not too old to do something yet. My sight is failing, but I can take care of it. If I had my own review, I would write every now and then a critical paper in my very best style. You remember poor old Hinks’s note about me in his book? We laughed at it, but he wasn’t so far wrong. I have many of those qualities. A man is conscious of his own merits as well as of his defects. I have done a few admirable things. You remember my paper on Lord Herbert of Cherbury? No one ever wrote a more subtle piece of criticism; but it was swept aside among the rubbish of the magazines. And it’s just because of my pungent phrases that I have excited so much enmity. Wait! Wait! Let me have my own review, and leisure, and satisfaction of mind—heavens! what I will write! How I will scarify!’

‘Well, well; let’s not talk about that. Maybe it’s not a big deal. No— from a philosophical perspective, those things are unbelievably trivial. But I’m not much of a philosopher.’ He laughed, his voice breaking. ‘Defeat in life is still defeat; and an undeserved failure is a harsh burden. You see, I’m not too old to do something yet. My eyesight is getting worse, but I can manage it. If I had my own magazine, I would occasionally write a critical piece in my best style. Do you remember poor old Hinks’s note about me in his book? We laughed at it, but he wasn’t completely off base. I possess many of those qualities. A person is aware of their own strengths as well as their weaknesses. I’ve done a few remarkable things. Do you remember my paper on Lord Herbert of Cherbury? No one has ever written a more nuanced piece of criticism; but it got tossed aside among the clutter of magazines. And it’s exactly because of my sharp phrases that I’ve stirred up so much animosity. Wait! Wait! Just give me my own magazine, some free time, and peace of mind—goodness! what I will write! How I will criticize!’

‘That is unworthy of you. How much better to ignore your enemies! In such a position, I should carefully avoid every word that betrayed personal feeling.’

'That's beneath you. It's much better to just ignore your enemies! In that situation, I would make sure to avoid any words that revealed personal feelings.'

‘Well, well; you are of course right, my good girl. And I believe I should do injustice to myself if I made you think that those ignoble motives are the strongest in me. No; it isn’t so. From my boyhood I have had a passionate desire of literary fame, deep down below all the surface faults of my character. The best of my life has gone by, and it drives me to despair when I feel that I have not gained the position due to me. There is only one way of doing this now, and that is by becoming the editor of an important periodical. Only in that way shall I succeed in forcing people to pay attention to my claims. Many a man goes to his grave unrecognised, just because he has never had a fair judgment. Nowadays it is the unscrupulous men of business who hold the attention of the public; they blow their trumpets so loudly that the voices of honest men have no chance of being heard.’

‘Well, well; you’re right, my dear. I’d be doing myself a disservice if I made you think that those unworthy motives are the strongest in me. No; that’s not the case. Since my youth, I’ve had a deep desire for literary recognition, buried beneath all the flaws in my character. The best years of my life have passed by, and it drives me to despair to realize that I haven't achieved the recognition I deserve. There’s only one way to change this now, and that’s by becoming the editor of a significant publication. Only then will I manage to make people notice my claims. Many people go to their graves unrecognized simply because they weren’t fairly judged. Nowadays, it’s the ruthless businesspeople who grab the public's attention; they shout so loudly that the voices of honest individuals never get a chance to be heard.’

Marian was pained by the humility of his pleading with her—for what was all this but an endeavour to move her sympathies?—and by the necessity she was under of seeming to turn a deaf ear. She believed that there was some truth in his estimate of his own powers; though as an editor he would almost certainly fail, as a man of letters he had probably done far better work than some who had passed him by on their way to popularity. Circumstances might enable her to assist him, though not in the way he proposed. The worst of it was that she could not let him see what was in her mind. He must think that she was simply balancing her own satisfaction against his, when in truth she suffered from the conviction that to yield would be as unwise in regard to her father’s future as it would be perilous to her own prospect of happiness.

Marian felt hurt by how desperately he was pleading with her—wasn’t this just an attempt to win her sympathy?—and by the fact that she had to act like she wasn’t listening. She thought there was some truth to his view of his own abilities; while he would likely fail as an editor, he had probably done much better work than some people who had passed him on their way to fame. There might be a way for her to help him, but not the way he suggested. The worst part was that she couldn’t let him know what she was really thinking. He must believe she was just weighing her own needs against his, when in reality, she felt that giving in would be as unwise for her father’s future as it would jeopardize her own chances for happiness.

‘Shall we leave this to be talked of when the money has been paid over to me?’ she said, after a silence.

"Can we discuss this after the money has been handed over to me?" she said after a pause.

‘Yes. Don’t suppose I wish to influence you by dwelling on my own hardships. That would be contemptible. I have only taken this opportunity of making myself better known to you. I don’t readily talk of myself and in general my real feelings are hidden by the faults of my temper. In suggesting how you could do me a great service, and at the same time reap advantage for yourself I couldn’t but remember how little reason you have to think kindly of me. But we will postpone further talk. You will think over what I have said?’

‘Yes. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to sway you by focusing on my own struggles. That would be pathetic. I just wanted to take this chance to let you know me better. I don’t often share about myself, and usually, my true feelings are masked by my temper flaws. In suggesting how you could really help me while also benefiting yourself, I couldn’t help but recall how little cause you have to feel positively about me. But let’s put a pin in this conversation. Can you think over what I’ve said?’

Marian promised that she would, and was glad to bring the conversation to an end.

Marian promised she would, and she was glad to wrap up the conversation.

When Sunday came, Yule inquired of his daughter if she had any engagement for the afternoon.

When Sunday arrived, Yule asked his daughter if she had any plans for the afternoon.

‘Yes, I have,’ she replied, with an effort to disguise her embarrassment.

‘Yes, I have,’ she said, trying to hide her embarrassment.

‘I’m sorry. I thought of asking you to come with me to Quarmby’s. Shall you be away through the evening?’

‘I’m sorry. I was thinking of inviting you to come with me to Quarmby’s. Will you be out for the evening?’

‘Till about nine o’clock, I think.’

‘Until about nine o’clock, I think.’

‘Ah! Never mind, never mind.’

'Oh! Don't worry about it.'

He tried to dismiss the matter as if it were of no moment, but Marian saw the shadow that passed over his countenance. This was just after breakfast. For the remainder of the morning she did not meet him, and at the mid-day dinner he was silent, though he brought no book to the table with him, as he was wont to do when in his dark moods. Marian talked with her mother, doing her best to preserve the appearance of cheerfulness which was natural since the change in Yule’s demeanour.

He tried to brush off the issue like it didn’t matter, but Marian noticed the shadow that crossed his face. This was right after breakfast. For the rest of the morning, she didn’t see him, and at lunch, he was quiet, even though he didn’t bring a book to the table with him like he usually did when he was feeling down. Marian chatted with her mom, doing her best to keep up the cheerful front that came naturally since Yule's change in mood.

She chanced to meet her father in the passage just as she was going out. He smiled (it was more like a grin of pain) and nodded, but said nothing.

She happened to run into her father in the hallway just as she was leaving. He smiled (it was more like a pained grin) and nodded, but didn't say anything.

When the front door closed, he went into the parlour. Mrs Yule was reading, or, at all events, turning over a volume of an illustrated magazine.

When the front door closed, he went into the living room. Mrs. Yule was reading, or at least flipping through an illustrated magazine.

‘Where do you suppose she has gone?’ he asked, in a voice which was only distant, not offensive.

‘Where do you think she has gone?’ he asked, in a tone that was distant but not rude.

‘To the Miss Milvains, I believe,’ Mrs Yule answered, looking aside.

‘To the Miss Milvains, I think,’ Mrs. Yule replied, glancing away.

‘Did she tell you so?’

"Did she say that?"

‘No. We don’t talk about it.’

'No. We don’t talk about it.'

He seated himself on the corner of a chair and bent forward, his chin in his hand.

He sat on the edge of a chair and leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand.

‘Has she said anything to you about the review?’

‘Has she mentioned anything to you about the review?’

‘Not a word.’

"Not a word."

She glanced at him timidly, and turned a few pages of her book.

She looked at him nervously and flipped through a few pages of her book.

‘I wanted her to come to Quarmby’s, because there’ll be a man there who is anxious that Jedwood should start a magazine, and it would be useful for her to hear practical opinions. There’d be no harm if you just spoke to her about it now and then. Of course if she has made up her mind to refuse me it’s no use troubling myself any more. I should think you might find out what’s really going on.’

‘I wanted her to come to Quarmby’s because there’s going to be a guy there who really wants Jedwood to start a magazine, and it would be helpful for her to hear some practical opinions. It wouldn’t hurt if you casually brought it up with her now and then. Of course, if she’s already decided to turn me down, it’s no use worrying about it anymore. You might want to find out what’s really happening.’

Only dire stress of circumstances could have brought Alfred Yule to make distinct appeal for his wife’s help. There was no underhand plotting between them to influence their daughter; Mrs Yule had as much desire for the happiness of her husband as for that of Marian, but she felt powerless to effect anything on either side.

Only extreme stress from circumstances could have led Alfred Yule to clearly ask for his wife's help. There was no secret scheming between them to sway their daughter; Mrs. Yule wanted her husband to be happy just as much as she wanted Marian to be happy, but she felt unable to really make a difference for either of them.

‘If ever she says anything, I’ll let you know.’

‘If she ever says anything, I’ll let you know.’

‘But it seems to me that you have a right to question her.’

‘But it seems to me that you have the right to question her.’

‘I can’t do that, Alfred.’

"I can't do that, Alfred."

‘Unfortunately, there are a good many things you can’t do.’ With that remark, familiar to his wife in substance, though the tone of it was less caustic than usual, he rose and sauntered from the room. He spent a gloomy hour in the study, then went off to join the literary circle at Mr Quarmby’s.

‘Unfortunately, there are quite a few things you can’t do.’ With that comment, familiar to his wife in essence, though the tone was less harsh than usual, he got up and strolled out of the room. He spent a dreary hour in the study, then headed off to join the literary group at Mr. Quarmby’s.





CHAPTER XXIV. JASPER’S MAGNANIMITY

Occasionally Milvain met his sisters as they came out of church on Sunday morning, and walked home to have dinner with them. He did so to-day, though the sky was cheerless and a strong north-west wind made it anything but agreeable to wait about in open spaces.

Occasionally, Milvain met his sisters as they left church on Sunday morning and walked home to have dinner with them. He did that today, even though the sky was gloomy and a strong north-west wind made it really uncomfortable to hang around in open areas.

‘Are you going to Mrs Wright’s this afternoon?’ he asked, as they went on together.

‘Are you going to Mrs. Wright’s this afternoon?’ he asked as they walked together.

‘I thought of going,’ replied Maud. ‘Marian will be with Dora.’

‘I thought about going,’ replied Maud. ‘Marian will be with Dora.’

‘You ought both to go. You mustn’t neglect that woman.’

‘You both should go. You can’t ignore that woman.’

He said nothing more just then, but when presently he was alone with Dora in the sitting-room for a few minutes, he turned with a peculiar smile and remarked quietly:

He didn’t say anything else at that moment, but when he was finally alone with Dora in the living room for a few minutes, he turned to her with a strange smile and said quietly:

‘I think you had better go with Maud this afternoon.’

‘I think you should go with Maud this afternoon.’

‘But I can’t. I expect Marian at three.’

‘But I can’t. I’m expecting Marian at three.’

‘That’s just why I want you to go.’

‘That’s exactly why I want you to go.’

She looked her surprise.

She showed her surprise.

‘I want to have a talk with Marian. We’ll manage it in this way. At a quarter to three you two shall start, and as you go out you can tell the landlady that if Miss Yule comes she is to wait for you, as you won’t be long. She’ll come upstairs, and I shall be there. You see?’

‘I want to talk to Marian. Here's the plan. At a quarter to three, you two will head out, and as you leave, you can tell the landlady that if Miss Yule arrives, she should wait for you, since you won't be long. She'll come upstairs, and I’ll be there. Got it?’

Dora turned half away, disturbed a little, but not displeased.

Dora turned slightly away, feeling a bit unsettled, but not unhappy.

‘And what about Miss Rupert?’ she asked.

‘And what about Miss Rupert?’ she asked.

‘Oh, Miss Rupert may go to Jericho for all I care. I’m in a magnanimous mood.’

‘Oh, Miss Rupert can go to Jericho for all I care. I’m feeling generous today.’

‘Very, I’ve no doubt.’

"Definitely, I have no doubt."

‘Well, you’ll do this? One of the results of poverty, you see; one can’t even have a private conversation with a friend without plotting to get the use of a room. But there shall be an end of this state of things.’

‘Well, will you do this? It’s one of the effects of poverty, you know; you can’t even have a private conversation with a friend without scheming to secure a room. But this situation is going to change.’

He nodded significantly. Thereupon Dora left the room to speak with her sister.

He nodded meaningfully. After that, Dora left the room to talk to her sister.

The device was put into execution, and Jasper saw his sisters depart knowing that they were not likely to return for some three hours. He seated himself comfortably by the fire and mused. Five minutes had hardly gone by when he looked at his watch, thinking Marian must be unpunctual. He was nervous, though he had believed himself secure against such weakness. His presence here with the purpose he had in his mind seemed to him distinctly a concession to impulses he ought to have controlled; but to this resolve he had come, and it was now too late to recommence the arguments with himself. Too late? Well, not strictly so; he had committed himself to nothing; up to the last moment of freedom he could always—

The device was set in motion, and Jasper watched his sisters leave, knowing they probably wouldn’t be back for at least three hours. He settled in comfortably by the fire and began to think. Hardly five minutes had passed when he checked his watch, wondering if Marian was running late. He felt anxious, even though he thought he was above such feelings. Being there with the intention he had seemed to him a clear surrender to urges he should have been able to manage; but he had made that decision, and it was now too late to go back on it. Too late? Well, not exactly; he hadn’t committed to anything yet; until the very last moment of freedom, he could always—

That was doubtless Marian’s knock at the front door. He jumped up, walked the length of the room, sat down on another chair, returned to his former seat. Then the door opened and Marian came in.

That was definitely Marian’s knock at the front door. He jumped up, walked across the room, sat down in another chair, and then went back to his original seat. Then the door opened and Marian walked in.

She was not surprised; the landlady had mentioned to her that Mr Milvain was upstairs, waiting the return of his sisters.

She wasn't surprised; the landlady had told her that Mr. Milvain was upstairs, waiting for his sisters to come back.

‘I am to make Dora’s excuses,’ Jasper said. ‘She begged you would forgive her—that you would wait.’

‘I need to make excuses for Dora,’ Jasper said. ‘She asked me to tell you that she hopes you can forgive her—and that you would wait.’

‘Oh yes.’

"Of course."

‘And you were to be sure to take off your hat,’ he added in a laughing tone; ‘and to let me put your umbrella in the corner—like that.’

‘And you должны definitely take off your hat,’ he added with a laugh; ‘and let me put your umbrella in the corner—like this.’

He had always admired the shape of Marian’s head, and the beauty of her short, soft, curly hair. As he watched her uncovering it, he was pleased with the grace of her arms and the pliancy of her slight figure.

He had always admired the shape of Marian’s head and the beauty of her short, soft, curly hair. As he watched her reveal it, he appreciated the grace of her arms and the flexibility of her slim figure.

‘Which is usually your chair?’

‘Which chair is usually yours?’

‘I’m sure I don’t know.’

"I have no idea."

‘When one goes to see a friend frequently, one gets into regular habits in these matters. In Biffen’s garret I used to have the most uncomfortable chair it was ever my lot to sit upon; still, I came to feel an affection for it. At Reardon’s I always had what was supposed to be the most luxurious seat, but it was too small for me, and I eyed it resentfully on sitting down and rising.’

‘When you visit a friend often, you develop regular habits around it. In Biffen’s attic, I used to sit in the most uncomfortable chair imaginable; still, I grew to like it. At Reardon’s, I always got what was considered the most luxurious seat, but it was too small for me, and I looked at it resentfully when I sat down and got up.’

‘Have you any news about the Reardons?’

‘Do you have any news about the Reardons?’

‘Yes. I am told that Reardon has had the offer of a secretaryship to a boys’ home, or something of the kind, at Croydon. But I suppose there’ll be no need for him to think of that now.’

‘Yes. I've heard that Reardon has been offered a secretary position at a boys’ home or something similar in Croydon. But I guess he doesn’t need to think about that now.’

‘Surely not!’

"Absolutely not!"

‘Oh there’s no saying.’

‘Oh, there’s no telling.’

‘Why should he do work of that kind now?’

‘Why should he be doing work like that now?’

‘Perhaps his wife will tell him that she wants her money all for herself.’

‘Maybe his wife will tell him that she wants all the money for herself.’

Marian laughed. It was very rarely that Jasper had heard her laugh at all, and never so spontaneously as this. He liked the music.

Marian laughed. Jasper hardly ever heard her laugh, and never so spontaneously as this. He liked the sound.

‘You haven’t a very good opinion of Mrs Reardon,’ she said.

‘You don’t think very highly of Mrs. Reardon,’ she said.

‘She is a difficult person to judge. I never disliked her, by any means; but she was decidedly out of place as the wife of a struggling author. Perhaps I have been a little prejudiced against her since Reardon quarrelled with me on her account.’

‘She is hard to read. I never disliked her at all; but she definitely seemed out of place as the wife of a struggling author. Maybe I’ve been a bit biased against her since Reardon and I had that argument because of her.’

Marian was astonished at this unlooked-for explanation of the rupture between Milvain and his friend. That they had not seen each other for some months she knew from Jasper himself but no definite cause had been assigned.

Marian was shocked by this unexpected explanation for the breakup between Milvain and his friend. She knew from Jasper that they hadn't seen each other for a few months, but no specific reason had been given.

‘I may as well let you know all about it,’ Milvain continued, seeing that he had disconcerted the girl, as he meant to. ‘I met Reardon not long after they had parted, and he charged me with being in great part the cause of his troubles.’

‘I might as well fill you in on everything,’ Milvain continued, noticing that he had thrown the girl off balance, just as he intended to. ‘I ran into Reardon not long after they broke up, and he blamed me for being a big part of his issues.’

The listener did not raise her eyes.

The listener didn't glance up.

‘You would never imagine what my fault was. Reardon declared that the tone of my conversation had been morally injurious to his wife. He said I was always glorifying worldly success, and that this had made her discontented with her lot. Sounds rather ludicrous, don’t you think?’

’You would never guess what my mistake was. Reardon claimed that the way I talked had been morally harmful to his wife. He said I was always praising worldly success, and that this had made her unhappy with her situation. Sounds pretty ridiculous, don’t you think?’

‘It was very strange.’

"It was really weird."

‘Reardon was in desperate earnest, poor fellow. And, to tell you the truth, I fear there may have been something in his complaint.

‘Reardon was genuinely desperate, poor guy. And, to be honest, I think there might be some truth to his complaint.

I told him at once that I should henceforth keep away from Mrs Edmund Yule’s; and so I have done, with the result, of course, that they suppose I condemn Mrs Reardon’s behaviour. The affair was a nuisance, but I had no choice, I think.’

I told him right away that I would stay away from Mrs. Edmund Yule's from now on; and I have done so, which, of course, makes them think I disapprove of Mrs. Reardon's behavior. The whole situation was annoying, but I really had no choice, I believe.

‘You say that perhaps your talk really was harmful to her.’

‘You say that maybe what you said really did hurt her.’

‘It may have been, though such a danger never occurred to me.’

‘It might have been, although that danger never crossed my mind.’

‘Then Amy must be very weak-minded.’

‘Then Amy must be very gullible.’

‘To be influenced by such a paltry fellow?’

‘To be swayed by such a insignificant person?’

‘To be influenced by anyone in such a way.’

‘To be affected by anyone like that.’

‘You think the worse of me for this story?’ Jasper asked.

‘You think less of me because of this story?’ Jasper asked.

‘I don’t quite understand it. How did you talk to her?’

‘I don’t really get it. How did you talk to her?’

‘As I talk to everyone. You have heard me say the same things many a time. I simply declare my opinion that the end of literary work—unless one is a man of genius—is to secure comfort and repute. This doesn’t seem to me very scandalous. But Mrs Reardon was perhaps too urgent in repeating such views to her husband. She saw that in my case they were likely to have solid results, and it was a misery to her that Reardon couldn’t or wouldn’t work in the same practical way.

‘As I talk to everyone, you've heard me say the same things many times. I simply express my belief that the goal of literary work—unless you’re a genius—is to achieve comfort and respect. That doesn’t seem very scandalous to me. But Mrs. Reardon might have been too intense in sharing these views with her husband. She realized that in my situation, they were likely to yield real results, and it distressed her that Reardon couldn’t or wouldn’t approach it in the same practical manner.

‘It was very unfortunate.’

"That was really unfortunate."

‘And you are inclined to blame me?’

"Are you blaming me?"

‘No; because I am so sure that you only spoke in the way natural to you, without a thought of such consequences.’

'No; because I'm completely convinced that you just spoke in a way that felt natural to you, without considering the consequences.'

Jasper smiled.

Jasper grinned.

‘That’s precisely the truth. Nearly all men who have their way to make think as I do, but most feel obliged to adopt a false tone, to talk about literary conscientiousness, and so on. I simply say what I think, with no pretences. I should like to be conscientious, but it’s a luxury I can’t afford. I’ve told you all this often enough, you know.’

‘That’s exactly the truth. Almost all men who are successful think like I do, but most feel they have to put on a false front, talking about literary integrity and so on. I just say what I think, without pretenses. I’d like to be principled, but it’s a luxury I can’t afford. I’ve mentioned all this to you plenty of times, you know.’

‘Yes.’

‘Yeah.’

‘But it hasn’t been morally injurious to you,’ he said with a laugh.

‘But it hasn’t been morally harmful to you,’ he said with a laugh.

‘Not at all. Still I don’t like it.’

‘Not at all. I still don’t like it.’

Jasper was startled. He gazed at her. Ought he, then, to have dealt with her less frankly? Had he been mistaken in thinking that the unusual openness of his talk was attractive to her? She spoke with quite unaccustomed decision; indeed, he had noticed from her entrance that there was something unfamiliar in her way of conversing. She was so much more self-possessed than of wont, and did not seem to treat him with the same deference, the same subdual of her own personality.

Jasper was taken aback. He stared at her. Should he have been less straightforward with her? Had he misjudged the appeal of his unusually open conversation? She spoke with a level of confidence he wasn't used to; in fact, he had noticed from the moment she walked in that there was something different about the way she spoke. She seemed so much more composed than usual and didn't treat him with the same level of respect, the same suppression of her own personality.

‘You don’t like it?’ he repeated calmly. ‘It has become rather tiresome to you?’

‘You don’t like it?’ he repeated calmly. ‘It’s become pretty tiresome to you?’

‘I feel sorry that you should always represent yourself in an unfavourable light.’

‘I feel sorry that you always show yourself in such a negative way.’

He was an acute man, but the self-confidence with which he had entered upon this dialogue, his conviction that he had but to speak when he wished to receive assurance of Marian’s devotion, prevented him from understanding the tone of independence she had suddenly adopted. With more modesty he would have felt more subtly at this juncture, would have divined that the girl had an exquisite pleasure in drawing back now that she saw him approaching her with unmistakable purpose, that she wished to be wooed in less off-hand fashion before confessing what was in her heart. For the moment he was disconcerted. Those last words of hers had a slight tone of superiority, the last thing he would have expected upon her lips.

He was a sharp guy, but the confidence he had when starting this conversation, his belief that he just had to speak to get proof of Marian’s devotion, made it hard for him to grasp the independent tone she had suddenly taken. If he had been a bit more humble, he would have been more perceptive at that moment and would have sensed that she was enjoying pulling back now that she noticed him approaching with clear intent. She wanted to be courted in a more thoughtful way before revealing her true feelings. For now, he was thrown off balance. Those last words from her had a hint of superiority, which was the last thing he expected to hear from her.

‘Yet I surely haven’t always appeared so—to you?’ he said.

‘Yet I definitely haven’t always seemed that way—to you?’ he said.

‘No, not always.’

‘No, not all the time.’

‘But you are in doubt concerning the real man?’

‘But you’re unsure about the real man?’

‘I’m not sure that I understand you. You say that you do really think as you speak.’

‘I’m not sure I understand you. You say that you really think as you speak.’

‘So I do. I think that there is no choice for a man who can’t bear poverty. I have never said, though, that I had pleasure in mean necessities; I accept them because I can’t help it.’

‘So I do. I believe that there’s no choice for a man who can’t handle poverty. I’ve never said, though, that I enjoy living with basic needs; I accept them because I have no other option.’

It was a delight to Marian to observe the anxiety with which he turned to self-defence. Never in her life had she felt this joy of holding a position of command. It was nothing to her that Jasper valued her more because of her money; impossible for it to be otherwise. Satisfied that he did value her, to begin with, for her own sake, she was very willing to accept money as her ally in the winning of his love. He scarcely loved her yet, as she understood the feeling, but she perceived her power over him, and passion taught her how to exert it.

It thrilled Marian to see how anxious he became when it came to defending himself. Never before had she experienced such joy in having a position of power. She didn't care that Jasper appreciated her more because of her wealth; it was impossible for it to be any different. Confident that he valued her, at least initially, for who she was, she was more than happy to accept money as a way to win his love. He didn't truly love her yet, at least not in the way she understood love, but she was aware of her influence over him, and desire taught her how to use it.

‘But you resign yourself very cheerfully to the necessity,’ she said, looking at him with merely intellectual eyes.

‘But you accept the necessity very willingly,’ she said, looking at him with just an intellectual gaze.

‘You had rather I lamented my fate in not being able to devote myself to nobly unremunerative work?’

‘Would you prefer that I moaned about my luck in not being able to dedicate myself to generously unpaying work?’

There was a note of irony here. It caused her a tremor, but she held her position.

There was a sense of irony here. It made her shudder, but she maintained her stance.

‘That you never do so would make one think—but I won’t speak unkindly.’

‘The fact that you never do that might lead someone to think otherwise—but I won’t say anything unkind.’

‘That I neither care for good work nor am capable of it,’ Jasper finished her sentence. ‘I shouldn’t have thought it would make you think so.’

‘That I don’t care about good work or that I’m even capable of it,’ Jasper finished her sentence. ‘I wouldn’t have thought it would make you think that way.’

Instead of replying she turned her look towards the door. There was a footstep on the stairs, but it passed.

Instead of replying, she looked towards the door. She heard a footstep on the stairs, but it moved on.

‘I thought it might be Dora,’ she said.

‘I thought it might be Dora,’ she said.

‘She won’t be here for another couple of hours at least,’ replied Jasper with a slight smile.

‘She won't be here for at least a couple of hours,’ replied Jasper with a slight smile.

‘But you said—?’

"But you said—?"

‘I sent her to Mrs Boston Wright’s that I might have an opportunity of talking to you. Will you forgive the stratagem?’

‘I sent her to Mrs. Boston Wright’s so I could have a chance to talk to you. Will you forgive the trick?’

Marian resumed her former attitude, the faintest smile hovering about her lips.

Marian went back to her old demeanor, with a slight smile playing on her lips.

‘I’m glad there’s plenty of time,’ he continued. ‘I begin to suspect that you have been misunderstanding me of late. I must set that right.’

‘I'm glad there's plenty of time,’ he said. ‘I’m starting to think that you’ve been misunderstanding me lately. I need to clear that up.’

‘I don’t think I have misunderstood you.’

‘I don’t think I misunderstood you.’

‘That may mean something very disagreeable. I know that some people whom I esteem have a very poor opinion of me, but I can’t allow you to be one of them. What do I seem to you? What is the result on your mind of all our conversations?’

‘That might suggest something quite unpleasant. I know that some people I respect think very little of me, but I can’t let you be one of them. How do I come across to you? What do all our conversations make you think of me?’

‘I have already told you.’

"I've already told you."

‘Not seriously. Do you believe I am capable of generous feeling?’

‘Not seriously. Do you think I’m capable of feeling generous?’

‘To say no, would be to put you in the lowest class of men, and that a very small one.’

‘Saying no would place you in the lowest tier of people, and it’s a pretty small one.’

‘Good! Then I am not among the basest. But that doesn’t give me very distinguished claims upon your consideration. Whatever I am, I am high in some of my ambitions.’

‘Good! Then I’m not among the lowest. But that doesn’t give me very special reasons for your attention. Whatever I am, I have lofty ambitions in some respects.’

‘Which of them?’

'Which one?'

‘For instance, I have been daring enough to hope that you might love me.’

‘For example, I’ve been bold enough to hope that you might love me.’

Marian delayed for a moment, then said quietly:

Marian paused for a moment, then quietly said:

‘Why do you call that daring?’

‘Why do you call that bold?’

‘Because I have enough of old-fashioned thought to believe that a woman who is worthy of a man’s love is higher than he, and condescends in giving herself to him.’

‘Because I have enough old-fashioned beliefs to think that a woman worthy of a man’s love is above him, and she lowers herself by choosing to be with him.’

His voice was not convincing; the phrase did not sound natural on his lips. It was not thus that she had hoped to hear him speak. Whilst he expressed himself thus conventionally he did not love her as she desired to be loved.

His voice wasn't convincing; the words didn't feel natural coming from him. This wasn't how she had hoped to hear him talk. While he spoke in such a conventional way, he didn’t love her the way she wanted to be loved.

‘I don’t hold that view,’ she said.

'I don’t agree with that,' she said.

‘It doesn’t surprise me. You are very reserved on all subjects, and we have never spoken of this, but of course I know that your thought is never commonplace. Hold what view you like of woman’s position, that doesn’t affect mine.’

‘It doesn’t surprise me. You’re very private about everything, and we’ve never talked about this, but I know your thoughts are never ordinary. Think whatever you want about women's roles; that doesn’t change mine.’

‘Is yours commonplace, then?’

"Is yours common, then?"

‘Desperately. Love is a very old and common thing, and I believe I love you in the old and common way. I think you beautiful, you seem to me womanly in the best sense, full of charm and sweetness. I know myself a coarse being in comparison. All this has been felt and said in the same way by men infinite in variety. Must I find some new expression before you can believe me?’

‘Desperately. Love is something very old and common, and I believe I love you in the traditional way. I think you’re beautiful; you seem to me to embody womanhood in the best sense, full of charm and sweetness. I know I’m a rough person in comparison. Many men of all kinds have felt and said the same thing. Do I need to find some new way to express this before you can believe me?’

Marian kept silence.

Marian stayed quiet.

‘I know what you are thinking,’ he said. ‘The thought is as inevitable as my consciousness of it.’

"I know what you're thinking," he said. "That thought is just as unavoidable as my awareness of it."

For an instant she looked at him.

For a moment, she looked at him.

‘Yes, you look the thought. Why have I not spoken to you in this way before? Why have I waited until you are obliged to suspect my sincerity?’

‘Yes, you look the part. Why haven’t I talked to you like this before? Why did I wait until you had to doubt my sincerity?’

‘My thought is not so easily read, then,’ said Marian.

‘It seems my thoughts aren't that easy to read,’ said Marian.

‘To be sure it hasn’t a gross form, but I know you wish—whatever your real feeling towards me—that I had spoken a fortnight ago. You would wish that of any man in my position, merely because it is painful to you to see a possible insincerity. Well, I am not insincere. I have thought of you as of no other woman for some time. But—yes, you shall have the plain, coarse truth, which is good in its way, no doubt. I was afraid to say that I loved you. You don’t flinch; so far, so good. Now what harm is there in this confession? In the common course of things I shouldn’t be in a position to marry for perhaps three or four years, and even then marriage would mean difficulties, restraints, obstacles. I have always dreaded the thought of marriage with a poor income. You remember?

‘I know it might not seem perfect, but I realize you wish—regardless of how you truly feel about me—that I had spoken up two weeks ago. You would want that from any man in my position simply because it’s uncomfortable for you to see any possible dishonesty. Well, I'm not being dishonest. I’ve thought of you like I haven’t of any other woman for a while now. But—yes, you deserve the straight, blunt truth, which has its own value, for sure. I was scared to say that I loved you. You didn’t flinch; so far, so good. Now, what’s wrong with this confession? Normally, I shouldn’t expect to be in a position to marry for maybe three or four years, and even then, marriage would bring its own challenges, limitations, and obstacles. I’ve always feared the idea of marrying with a tight budget. Remember?

      Love in a hut, with water and a crust,
      Is—Love forgive us!—cinders, ashes, dust.
    
      Love in a hut, with water and a crust,  
      Is—Love forgive us!—cinders, ashes, dust.

You know that is true.’

You know that's true.

‘Not always, I dare say.’

"Not always, I must say."

‘But for the vast majority of mortals. There’s the instance of the Reardons. They were in love with each other, if ever two people were; but poverty ruined everything. I am not in the confidence of either of them, but I feel sure each has wished the other dead. What else was to be expected? Should I have dared to take a wife in my present circumstances—a wife as poor as myself?’

‘But for the vast majority of people. There's the case of the Reardons. They were completely in love with each other; but poverty destroyed everything. I don’t really know either of them well, but I'm certain each has wished the other dead. What else could they expect? Should I have dared to take a wife under my current situation—a wife as poor as I am?’

‘You will be in a much better position before long,’ said Marian. ‘If you loved me, why should you have been afraid to ask me to have confidence in your future?’

‘You’ll be in a much better spot soon,’ said Marian. ‘If you loved me, why were you scared to ask me to trust in your future?’

‘It’s all so uncertain. It may be another ten years before I can count on an income of five or six hundred pounds—if I have to struggle on in the common way.’

‘It’s all so uncertain. It might be another ten years before I can rely on an income of five or six hundred pounds—if I have to get by in the usual way.’

‘But tell me, what is your aim in life? What do you understand by success?’

‘But tell me, what is your goal in life? What does success mean to you?’

‘Yes, I will tell you. My aim is to have easy command of all the pleasures desired by a cultivated man. I want to live among beautiful things, and never to be troubled by a thought of vulgar difficulties. I want to travel and enrich my mind in foreign countries. I want to associate on equal terms with refined and interesting people. I want to be known, to be familiarly referred to, to feel when I enter a room that people regard me with some curiosity.’

‘Yes, I’ll tell you. My goal is to effortlessly enjoy all the pleasures that a cultured person desires. I want to be surrounded by beautiful things and never be bothered by petty problems. I want to travel and expand my knowledge in other countries. I want to connect with refined and interesting people as equals. I want to be recognized, to be referred to casually, and to feel that when I walk into a room, people look at me with some curiosity.’

He looked steadily at her with bright eyes.

He stared at her with bright eyes.

‘And that’s all?’ asked Marian.

"Is that it?" asked Marian.

‘That is very much. Perhaps you don’t know how I suffer in feeling myself at a disadvantage. My instincts are strongly social, yet I can’t be at my ease in society, simply because I can’t do justice to myself. Want of money makes me the inferior of the people I talk with, though I might be superior to them in most things. I am ignorant in many ways, and merely because I am poor. Imagine my never having been out of England! It shames me when people talk familiarly of the Continent. So with regard to all manner of amusements and pursuits at home. Impossible for me to appear among my acquaintances at the theatre, at concerts. I am perpetually at a disadvantage; I haven’t fair play. Suppose me possessed of money enough to live a full and active life for the next five years; why, at the end of that time my position would be secure. To him that hath shall be given—you know how universally true that is.’

‘That’s a lot. Maybe you don’t realize how much I struggle feeling at a disadvantage. I have a strong social instinct, but I can’t feel comfortable in social settings because I can’t show my true self. Not having enough money makes me feel inferior to the people I talk to, even though I could be better than them in many ways. I lack knowledge in many areas, and it’s all because I’m poor. Just think, I’ve never even been out of England! It embarrasses me when people casually talk about traveling around Europe. The same goes for all kinds of entertainment and hobbies at home. It’s impossible for me to join my friends at the theater or concerts. I always feel like I’m at a disadvantage; I don’t get a fair shot. If I had enough money to live a full and active life for the next five years, by the time that period is up, my situation would be secure. To those who have, more will be given—you know how universally true that is.’

‘And yet,’ came in a low voice from Marian, ‘you say that you love me.’

‘And yet,’ Marian said softly, ‘you say that you love me.’

‘You mean that I speak as if no such thing as love existed. But you asked me what I understood by success. I am speaking of worldly things. Now suppose I had said to you:

‘You mean that I talk as if love doesn’t exist. But you asked me what I thought success was. I’m talking about material things. Now imagine I had said to you:

My one aim and desire in life is to win your love. Could you have believed me? Such phrases are always untrue; I don’t know how it can give anyone pleasure to hear them. But if I say to you: All the satisfactions I have described would be immensely heightened if they were shared with a woman who loved me—there is the simple truth.’

My only goal in life is to earn your love. Could you ever believe that? Phrases like that are usually lies; I don't understand how they bring anyone joy to hear. But if I tell you: all the joys I've talked about would be so much greater if they were shared with a woman who loved me—there's the plain truth.

Marian’s heart sank. She did not want truth such as this; she would have preferred that he should utter the poor, common falsehoods. Hungry for passionate love, she heard with a sense of desolation all this calm reasoning. That Jasper was of cold temperament she had often feared; yet there was always the consoling thought that she did not see with perfect clearness into his nature. Now and then had come a flash, a hint of possibilities. She had looked forward with trembling eagerness to some sudden revelation; but it seemed as if he knew no word of the language which would have called such joyous response from her expectant soul.

Marian’s heart sank. She didn’t want a truth like this; she would have preferred him to say the usual, harmless lies. Craving passionate love, she felt a deep sense of despair at all this calm reasoning. She had often worried that Jasper was emotionally distant, but there was always the comforting thought that she didn’t fully understand his true nature. Occasionally, she had sensed a spark, a hint of possibilities. She had looked forward eagerly to a sudden revelation, but it felt like he didn’t even know the words that would have elicited such joyful responses from her hopeful soul.

‘We have talked for a long time,’ she said, turning her head as if his last words were of no significance. ‘As Dora is not coming, I think I will go now.’

‘We've been talking for a long time,’ she said, turning her head as if his last words didn't matter. ‘Since Dora isn't coming, I think I’ll leave now.’

She rose, and went towards the chair on which lay her out-of-door things. At once Jasper stepped to her side.

She got up and walked over to the chair where her outdoor clothes were. Immediately, Jasper stepped up beside her.

‘You will go without giving me any answer?’

‘Are you really going to leave without answering me?’

‘Answer? To what?’

"Answer? To what exactly?"

‘Will you be my wife?’

"Will you marry me?"

‘It is too soon to ask me that.’

‘It’s too early to ask me that.’

‘Too soon? Haven’t you known for months that I thought of you with far more than friendliness?’

‘Too soon? Didn’t you realize for months that I felt a lot more for you than just friendship?’

‘How was it possible I should know that? You have explained to me why you would not let your real feelings be understood.’

‘How could I possibly know that? You’ve told me why you wouldn’t let your true feelings be known.’

The reproach was merited, and not easy to be outfaced. He turned away for an instant, then with a sudden movement caught both her hands.

The criticism was deserved and hard to ignore. He looked away for a moment, then suddenly grabbed both her hands.

‘Whatever I have done or said or thought in the past, that is of no account now. I love you, Marian. I want you to be my wife. I have never seen any other girl who impressed me as you did from the first. If I had been weak enough to try to win anyone but you, I should have known that I had turned aside from the path of my true happiness. Let us forget for a moment all our circumstances. I hold your hands, and look into your face, and say that I love you. Whatever answer you give, I love you!’

‘No matter what I've done, said, or thought in the past, it doesn't matter now. I love you, Marian. I want you to be my wife. I've never met anyone else who has impressed me like you did from the start. If I had been foolish enough to try to win over anyone but you, I would have realized that I was turning away from my true happiness. Let’s forget our circumstances for a moment. I hold your hands, look into your eyes, and say that I love you. No matter what you say in response, I love you!’

Till now her heart had only fluttered a little; it was a great part of her distress that the love she had so long nurtured seemed shrinking together into some far corner of her being whilst she listened to the discourses which prefaced Jasper’s declaration. She was nervous, painfully self-conscious, touched with maidenly shame, but could not abandon herself to that delicious emotion which ought to have been the fulfilment of all her secret imaginings. Now at length there began a throbbing in her bosom. Keeping her face averted, her eyes cast down, she waited for a repetition of the note that was in that last ‘I love you.’ She felt a change in the hands that held hers—a warmth, a moist softness; it caused a shock through her veins.

Until now, her heart had only fluttered a little; a big part of her distress was that the love she had cherished for so long seemed to be shrinking away into some distant corner of her being while she listened to the speeches that preceded Jasper’s confession. She felt nervous, intensely self-aware, touched with a sense of girlish shame, but she couldn't fully embrace that thrilling emotion that should have been the realization of all her secret dreams. Finally, she began to feel a racing in her chest. Keeping her face turned away and her eyes downcast, she waited for the echoes of that last ‘I love you.’ She sensed a change in the hands that held hers—a warmth, a soft dampness; it sent a jolt through her veins.

He was trying to draw her nearer, but she kept at full arm’s length and looked irresponsive.

He was trying to pull her closer, but she maintained her distance and seemed unresponsive.

‘Marian?’

'Marian?'

She wished to answer, but a spirit of perversity held her tongue.

She wanted to reply, but something was stopping her from speaking.

‘Marian, don’t you love me? Or have I offended you by my way of speaking?’

‘Marian, don’t you love me? Or did I upset you with how I speak?’

Persisting, she at length withdrew her hands. Jasper’s face expressed something like dismay.

Persisting, she finally pulled her hands away. Jasper's face showed something like shock.

‘You have not offended me,’ she said. ‘But I am not sure that you don’t deceive yourself in thinking, for the moment, that I am necessary to your happiness.’

‘You haven’t upset me,’ she said. ‘But I’m not sure you’re not fooling yourself into thinking, for now, that I’m essential to your happiness.’

The emotional current which had passed from her flesh to his whilst their hands were linked, made him incapable of standing aloof from her. He saw that her face and neck were warmer hued, and her beauty became more desirable to him than ever yet.

The emotional connection that flowed from her body to his while their hands were linked made it impossible for him to stay detached from her. He noticed that her face and neck were flushed, and her beauty became more appealing to him than it had ever been.

‘You are more to me than anything else in the compass of life!’ he exclaimed, again pressing forward. ‘I think of nothing but you—you yourself—my beautiful, gentle, thoughtful Marian!’

‘You mean more to me than anything else in life!’ he exclaimed, moving closer. ‘I can’t stop thinking about you—you alone—my beautiful, kind, thoughtful Marian!’

His arm captured her, and she did not resist. A sob, then a strange little laugh, betrayed the passion that was at length unfolded in her.

His arm wrapped around her, and she didn't resist. A sob, followed by a strange little laugh, revealed the passion that had finally surfaced in her.

‘You do love me, Marian?’

"Do you love me, Marian?"

‘I love you.’

"I love you."

And there followed the antiphony of ardour that finds its first utterance—a subdued music, often interrupted, ever returning upon the same rich note.

And then came the back-and-forth of passion that first finds its voice—a soft melody, frequently interrupted, always circling back to the same deep note.

Marian closed her eyes and abandoned herself to the luxury of the dream. It was her first complete escape from the world of intellectual routine, her first taste of life. All the pedantry of her daily toil slipped away like a cumbrous garment; she was clad only in her womanhood. Once or twice a shudder of strange self-consciousness went through her, and she felt guilty, immodest; but upon that sensation followed a surge of passionate joy, obliterating memory and forethought.

Marian closed her eyes and surrendered to the comfort of the dream. It was her first full escape from the grind of intellectual routine, her first glimpse of real life. All the heaviness of her daily work faded away like a clumsy outfit; she was dressed only in her femininity. A couple of times, a wave of strange self-consciousness washed over her, making her feel guilty and exposed; but that feeling was quickly followed by a rush of intense joy, wiping away any memories and worries.

‘How shall I see you?’ Jasper asked at length. ‘Where can we meet?’

‘How will I see you?’ Jasper asked after a while. ‘Where can we meet?’

It was a difficulty. The season no longer allowed lingerings under the open sky, but Marian could not go to his lodgings, and it seemed impossible for him to visit her at her home.

It was a challenge. The season no longer permitted hanging out under the open sky, but Marian couldn't go to his place, and it seemed impossible for him to visit her at home.

‘Will your father persist in unfriendliness to me?’

‘Will your father continue to be unfriendly to me?’

She was only just beginning to reflect on all that was involved in this new relation.

She was just starting to think about everything that was involved in this new relationship.

‘I have no hope that he will change,’ she said sadly.

‘I don’t think he’ll change,’ she said sadly.

‘He will refuse to countenance your marriage?’

'He will refuse to accept your marriage?'

‘I shall disappoint him and grieve him bitterly. He has asked me to use my money in starting a new review.’

‘I’m going to let him down and hurt him deeply. He’s asked me to use my money to start a new magazine.’

‘Which he is to edit?’

'Which one is he editing?'

‘Yes. Do you think there would be any hope of its success?’

‘Yes. Do you think there's any chance it could succeed?’

Jasper shook his head.

Jasper shook his head.

‘Your father is not the man for that, Marian. I don’t say it disrespectfully; I mean that he doesn’t seem to me to have that kind of aptitude. It would be a disastrous speculation.’

‘Your father isn’t the right person for that, Marian. I don’t mean it disrespectfully; I just don’t think he has that kind of ability. It would be a terrible gamble.’

‘I felt that. Of course I can’t think of it now.’

‘I felt that. Of course I can’t think about it now.’

She smiled, raising her face to his.

She smiled, tilting her face up toward his.

‘Don’t trouble,’ said Jasper. ‘Wait a little, till I have made myself independent of Fadge and a few other men, and your father shall see how heartily I wish to be of use to him. He will miss your help, I’m afraid?’

‘Don’t worry,’ said Jasper. ‘Just wait a bit until I’m no longer dependent on Fadge and a few other guys, and your father will see how much I really want to help him. I’m afraid he’ll miss your support, though?’

‘Yes. I shall feel it a cruelty when I have to leave him. He has only just told me that his sight is beginning to fail. Oh, why didn’t his brother leave him a little money? It was such unkindness! Surely he had a much better right than Amy, or than myself either. But literature has been a curse to father all his life. My uncle hated it, and I suppose that was why he left father nothing.’

‘Yes. I will find it cruel when I have to leave him. He’s just told me that his eyesight is starting to go. Oh, why didn’t his brother leave him some money? That was so unkind! He definitely had a much better claim than Amy or me. But literature has always been a burden to Dad. My uncle hated it, and I guess that’s why he left Dad nothing.’

‘But how am I to see you often? That’s the first question. I know what I shall do. I must take new lodgings, for the girls and myself, all in the same house. We must have two sitting-rooms; then you will come to my room without any difficulty. These astonishing proprieties are so easily satisfied after all.’

‘But how am I going to see you often? That’s the first thing. I know what I’ll do. I need to get a new place for the girls and me, all in the same house. We should have two living rooms; then you can come to my room easily. These surprising social norms are actually pretty easy to meet after all.’

‘You will really do that?’

"Are you really going to do that?"

‘Yes. I shall go and look for rooms to-morrow. Then when you come you can always ask for Maud or Dora, you know. They will be very glad of a change to more respectable quarters.’

‘Yes. I'll go look for rooms tomorrow. Then when you come, you can always ask for Maud or Dora, you know. They’ll be really happy for a change to nicer accommodations.’

‘I won’t stay to see them now, Jasper,’ said Marian, her thoughts turning to the girls.

‘I won’t stick around to see them now, Jasper,’ said Marian, her thoughts shifting to the girls.

‘Very well. You are safe for another hour, but to make certain you shall go at a quarter to five. Your mother won’t be against us?’

‘Alright. You’re safe for another hour, but to be sure, you’ll leave at a quarter to five. Your mom won’t mind, right?’

‘Poor mother—no. But she won’t dare to justify me before father.’

‘Poor mom—no. But she wouldn’t dare to defend me in front of dad.’

‘I feel as if I should play a mean part in leaving it to you to tell your father. Marian, I will brave it out and go and see him.’

‘I feel like I should take on the tough role of leaving it to you to tell your dad. Marian, I’ll face it and go see him.’

‘Oh, it would be better not to.’

‘Oh, it would be better not to.’

‘Then I will write to him—such a letter as he can’t possibly take in ill part.’

‘Then I will write to him—a letter that he definitely won't take the wrong way.’

Marian pondered this proposal.

Marian considered this proposal.

‘You shall do that, Jasper, if you are willing. But not yet; presently.’

‘You can do that, Jasper, if you want. But not yet; soon.’

‘You don’t wish him to know at once?’

‘You don’t want him to know right away?’

‘We had better wait a little. You know,’ she added laughing, ‘that my legacy is only in name mine as yet. The will hasn’t been proved. And then the money will have to be realised.’

‘We should probably wait a bit. You know,’ she added with a laugh, ‘that my inheritance is only technically mine for now. The will hasn’t gone through yet. Plus, the money still needs to be unlocked.’

She informed him of the details; Jasper listened with his eyes on the ground.

She told him the details; Jasper listened with his eyes on the ground.

They were now sitting on chairs drawn close to each other. It was with a sense of relief that Jasper had passed from dithyrambs to conversation on practical points; Marian’s excited sensitiveness could not but observe this, and she kept watching the motions of his countenance. At length he even let go her hand.

They were now sitting on chairs pulled close together. Jasper felt relieved to move from grand speeches to chatting about practical matters; Marian’s keen sensitivity couldn’t help but notice this, and she kept watching his facial expressions. Eventually, he even released her hand.

‘You would prefer,’ he said reflectively, ‘that nothing should be said to your father until that business is finished?’

'You would rather,' he said thoughtfully, 'that nothing is said to your dad until that matter is settled?'

‘If you consent to it.’

'If you agree to it.'

‘Oh, I have no doubt it’s as well.’

‘Oh, I have no doubt it’s all good.’

Her little phrase of self-subjection, and its tremulous tone, called for another answer than this. Jasper fell again into thought, and clearly it was thought of practical things.

Her small phrase of submission and its shaky tone demanded a different response. Jasper sunk back into thought, and it was clearly focused on practical matters.

‘I think I must go now, Jasper,’ she said.

‘I think I should go now, Jasper,’ she said.

‘Must you? Well, if you had rather.’

‘Must you? Well, if that’s what you prefer.’

He rose, though she was still seated. Marian moved a few steps away, but turned and approached him again.

He stood up, while she remained seated. Marian took a few steps back, but then turned and walked towards him again.

‘Do you really love me?’ she asked, taking one of his hands and folding it between her own.

‘Do you really love me?’ she asked, taking one of his hands and holding it between her own.

‘I do indeed love you, Marian. Are you still doubtful?’

‘I really do love you, Marian. Are you still unsure?’

‘You’re not sorry that I must go?’

‘You’re not sorry that I have to leave?’

‘But I am, dearest. I wish we could sit here undisturbed all through the evening.’

‘But I really am, my dear. I wish we could just sit here peacefully all evening.’

Her touch had the same effect as before. His blood warmed again, and he pressed her to his side, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead.

Her touch felt just like it did before. His blood warmed up again, and he pulled her to his side, running his fingers through her hair and kissing her forehead.

‘Are you sorry I wear my hair short?’ she asked, longing for more praise than he had bestowed on her.

‘Are you sorry I wear my hair short?’ she asked, hoping for more compliments than he had given her.

‘Sorry? It is perfect. Everything else seems vulgar compared with this way of yours. How strange you would look with plaits and that kind of thing!’

‘Sorry? It’s perfect. Everything else seems so basic compared to your style. How odd you would look with braids and that sort of thing!’

‘I am so glad it pleases you.’

‘I’m so glad that makes you happy.’

‘There is nothing in you that doesn’t please me, my thoughtful girl.’

‘There’s nothing about you that doesn’t make me happy, my thoughtful girl.’

‘You called me that before. Do I seem so very thoughtful?’

‘You called me that before. Do I really seem that thoughtful?’

‘So grave, and sweetly reserved, and with eyes so full of meaning.’

‘So serious, yet quietly composed, with eyes so full of meaning.’

She quivered with delight, her face hidden against his breast.

She shivered with happiness, her face buried against his chest.

‘I seem to be new-born, Jasper. Everything in the world is new to me, and I am strange to myself. I have never known an hour of happiness till now, and I can’t believe yet that it has come to me.’

‘I feel like I’m a newborn, Jasper. Everything in the world is fresh to me, and I’m unfamiliar with myself. I’ve never experienced a moment of happiness until now, and I still can’t believe that it’s finally here.’

She at length attired herself, and they left the house together, of course not unobserved by the landlady. Jasper walked about half the way to St Paul’s Crescent. It was arranged that he should address a letter for her to the care of his sisters; but in a day or two the change of lodgings would be effected.

She finally got dressed, and they left the house together, clearly noticed by the landlady. Jasper walked about halfway to St. Paul’s Crescent. They had agreed that he would send a letter for her to his sisters' address; however, in a day or two, they would change places to a new lodging.

When they had parted, Marian looked back. But Jasper was walking quickly away, his head bent, in profound meditation.

When they separated, Marian looked back. But Jasper was walking away quickly, his head down, lost in deep thought.





CHAPTER XXV. A FRUITLESS MEETING

Refuge from despair is often found in the passion of self-pity and that spirit of obstinate resistance which it engenders. In certain natures the extreme of self-pity is intolerable, and leads to self-destruction; but there are less fortunate beings whom the vehemence of their revolt against fate strengthens to endure in suffering. These latter are rather imaginative than passionate; the stages of their woe impress them as the acts of a drama, which they cannot bring themselves to cut short, so various are the possibilities of its dark motive. The intellectual man who kills himself is most often brought to that decision by conviction of his insignificance; self-pity merges in self-scorn, and the humiliated soul is intolerant of existence. He who survives under like conditions does so because misery magnifies him in his own estimate.

Escape from despair is often found in the intensity of self-pity and the stubborn defiance it creates. For some people, extreme self-pity is unbearable and leads to self-destruction; however, there are others who, unfortunately, find that their fierce rebellion against fate gives them strength to endure suffering. These individuals are more imaginative than passionate; they see the stages of their pain as acts in a play that they can't bear to end, as there are so many possibilities in its dark narrative. The intellectual person who takes their own life often does so out of a belief in their own insignificance; self-pity turns into self-loathing, and the humiliated spirit can no longer tolerate life. Those who survive under similar circumstances do so because their misery enhances their sense of self-worth.

It was by force of commiserating his own lot that Edwin Reardon continued to live through the first month after his parting from Amy. Once or twice a week, sometimes early in the evening, sometimes at midnight or later, he haunted the street at Westbourne Park where his wife was dwelling, and on each occasion he returned to his garret with a fortified sense of the injustice to which he was submitted, of revolt against the circumstances which had driven him into outer darkness, of bitterness against his wife for saving her own comfort rather than share his downfall. At times he was not far from that state of sheer distraction which Mrs Edmund Yule preferred to suppose that he had reached. An extraordinary arrogance now and then possessed him; he stood amid his poor surroundings with the sensations of an outraged exile, and laughed aloud in furious contempt of all who censured or pitied him.

It was by feeling sorry for himself that Edwin Reardon managed to get through the first month after his separation from Amy. Once or twice a week, sometimes early in the evening, sometimes at midnight or later, he wandered the streets of Westbourne Park where his wife was living. Each time, he returned to his small room with a stronger sense of the unfairness he faced, a desire to fight against the situation that had pushed him into this lonely place, and a bitterness toward his wife for prioritizing her own comfort over sharing in his struggles. At times, he was close to the state of sheer madness that Mrs. Edmund Yule preferred to believe he had reached. Occasionally, a strange arrogance overtook him; standing amid his modest surroundings, he felt like an outraged exile and laughed out loud in furious contempt for everyone who judged or pitied him.

On hearing from Jasper Milvain that Amy had fallen ill, or at all events was suffering in health from what she had gone through, he felt a momentary pang which all but determined him to hasten to her side. The reaction was a feeling of distinct pleasure that she had her share of pain, and even a hope that her illness might become grave; he pictured himself summoned to her sick chamber, imagined her begging his forgiveness. But it was not merely, nor in great part, a malicious satisfaction; he succeeded in believing that Amy suffered because she still had a remnant of love for him. As the days went by and he heard nothing, disappointment and resentment occupied him. At length he ceased to haunt the neighbourhood. His desires grew sullen; he became fixed in the resolve to hold entirely apart and doggedly await the issue.

Upon hearing from Jasper Milvain that Amy was unwell, or at least dealing with health issues from her recent experiences, he felt a brief moment of pain that almost made him rush to her side. Then came a feeling of distinct pleasure knowing she was in pain, even a hope that her illness might worsen; he envisioned being called to her sick room, imagining her pleading for his forgiveness. But it wasn't purely, or mostly, a spiteful satisfaction; he convinced himself that Amy was suffering because she still harbored some love for him. As the days passed and he heard nothing, disappointment and resentment consumed him. Eventually, he stopped lingering in the area. His desires turned sour; he resolved to completely distance himself and stubbornly wait to see what would happen.

At the end of each month he sent half the money he had received from Carter, simply enclosing postal orders in an envelope addressed to his wife. The first two remittances were in no way acknowledged; the third brought a short note from Amy:

At the end of each month, he sent half the money he got from Carter, just putting postal orders in an envelope addressed to his wife. The first two payments went unacknowledged; the third got a short note from Amy:

‘As you continue to send these sums of money, I had perhaps better let you know that I cannot use them for any purposes of my own. Perhaps a sense of duty leads you to make this sacrifice, but I am afraid it is more likely that you wish to remind me every month that you are undergoing privations, and to pain me in this way. What you have sent I have deposited in the Post Office Savings’ Bank in Willie’s name, and I shall continue to do so.—A.R.’

‘As you keep sending these amounts of money, I should probably tell you that I can’t use them for my own needs. Maybe a sense of obligation drives you to make this sacrifice, but I’m afraid it’s more likely that you want to remind me every month that you’re going through hardships, and to hurt me this way. What you’ve sent, I’ve put in the Post Office Savings Bank in Willie’s name, and I’ll keep doing that.—A.R.’

For a day or two Reardon persevered in an intention of not replying, but the desire to utter his turbid feelings became in the end too strong. He wrote:

For a day or two, Reardon tried not to respond, but eventually, the urge to express his mixed emotions became overwhelming. He wrote:

‘I regard it as quite natural that you should put the worst interpretation on whatever I do. As for my privations, I think very little of them; they are a trifle in comparison with the thought that I am forsaken just because my pocket is empty. And I am far indeed from thinking that you can be pained by whatever I may undergo; that would suppose some generosity in your nature.’

‘I think it’s completely natural for you to see the worst in whatever I do. As for my hardships, I don’t think much of them; they’re nothing compared to the idea that I’m abandoned just because I’m broke. And I definitely don’t believe that you could be hurt by anything I go through; that would imply some kindness in your character.’

This was no sooner posted than he would gladly have recalled it. He knew that it was undignified, that it contained as many falsehoods as lines, and he was ashamed of himself for having written so. But he could not pen a letter of retractation, and there remained with him a new cause of exasperated wretchedness.

This was posted as soon as he did, and he would have gladly taken it back. He realized it was undignified, that it had just as many lies as it had lines, and he felt ashamed of himself for writing it. But he couldn’t write a letter to take it back, leaving him with a new reason for deep frustration and misery.

Excepting the people with whom he came in contact at the hospital, he had no society but that of Biffen. The realist visited him once a week, and this friendship grew closer than it had been in the time of Reardon’s prosperity. Biffen was a man of so much natural delicacy, that there was a pleasure in imparting to him the details of private sorrow; though profoundly sympathetic, he did his best to oppose Reardon’s harsher judgments of Amy, and herein he gave his friend a satisfaction which might not be avowed.

Aside from the people he interacted with at the hospital, his only company was Biffen. The realist dropped by once a week, and their friendship became stronger than it had been during Reardon’s better days. Biffen was such a naturally sensitive person that it felt good to share the details of his personal struggles with him; although deeply sympathetic, he tried to counter Reardon’s harsher views of Amy, providing his friend a comfort that he couldn't openly admit.

‘I really do not see,’ he exclaimed, as they sat in the garret one night of midsummer, ‘how your wife could have acted otherwise. Of course I am quite unable to judge the attitude of her mind, but I think, I can’t help thinking, from what I knew of her, that there has been strictly a misunderstanding between you.

‘I really don’t see,’ he exclaimed, as they sat in the attic one summer night, ‘how your wife could have acted any differently. Of course, I can’t really judge her mindset, but I think— I can’t help but think— from what I knew of her, that there’s been a clear misunderstanding between you two.

It was a hard and miserable thing that she should have to leave you for a time, and you couldn’t face the necessity in a just spirit. Don’t you think there’s some truth in this way of looking at it?’

It was tough and miserable for her to have to leave you for a while, and you couldn’t accept that fact with the right attitude. Don’t you think there’s some truth to this perspective?

‘As a woman, it was her part to soften the hateful necessity; she made it worse.’

‘As a woman, it was her role to lessen the hateful necessity; she ended up making it worse.’

‘I’m not sure that you don’t demand too much of her. Unhappily, I know little or nothing of delicately-bred women, but I have a suspicion that one oughtn’t to expect heroism in them, any more than in the women of the lower classes. I think of women as creatures to be protected. Is a man justified in asking them to be stronger than himself?’

‘I’m not sure you’re not asking too much of her. Sadly, I know very little about women from refined backgrounds, but I have a feeling that we shouldn’t expect heroism from them any more than from women in lower social classes. I see women as individuals who need protection. Is a man right to expect them to be stronger than he is?’

‘Of course,’ replied Reardon, ‘there’s no use in demanding more than a character is capable of. But I believed her of finer stuff. My bitterness comes of the disappointment.’

‘Of course,’ replied Reardon, ‘there’s no point in expecting more than a person can give. But I thought she was made of better material. My frustration comes from that disappointment.’

‘I suppose there were faults of temper on both sides, and you saw at last only each other’s weaknesses.’

‘I guess there were temper issues on both sides, and in the end, you only saw each other’s flaws.’

‘I saw the truth, which had always been disguised from me.’ Biffen persisted in looking doubtful, and in secret Reardon thanked him for it.

‘I saw the truth, which had always been hidden from me.’ Biffen kept looking doubtful, and Reardon secretly thanked him for it.

As the realist progressed with his novel, ‘Mr Bailey, Grocer,’ he read the chapters to Reardon, not only for his own satisfaction, but in great part because he hoped that this example of productivity might in the end encourage the listener to resume his own literary tasks. Reardon found much to criticise in his friend’s work; it was noteworthy that he objected and condemned with much less hesitation than in his better days, for sensitive reticence is one of the virtues wont to be assailed by suffering, at all events in the weaker natures. Biffen purposely urged these discussions as far as possible, and doubtless they benefited Reardon for the time; but the defeated novelist could not be induced to undertake another practical illustration of his own views. Occasionally he had an impulse to plan a story, but an hour’s turning it over in his mind sufficed to disgust him. His ideas seemed barren, vapid; it would have been impossible for him to write half a dozen pages, and the mere thought of a whole book overcame him with the dread of insurmountable difficulties, immeasurable toil.

As the realist worked on his novel, ‘Mr Bailey, Grocer,’ he read the chapters to Reardon, not just for his own enjoyment, but mainly because he hoped that this show of productivity might eventually inspire Reardon to get back to his own writing. Reardon found a lot to criticize in his friend's work; it was striking that he voiced his objections with much less hesitation than he used to, since sensitive restraint is often undermined by hardship, especially in more fragile personalities. Biffen intentionally pushed these discussions as much as he could, and they likely helped Reardon for a while; however, the defeated novelist couldn't be persuaded to make another practical attempt to illustrate his own ideas. Sometimes he felt a spark to come up with a story, but after just an hour of thinking it through, he felt completely turned off. His ideas felt empty and uninspired; there was no way he could write even half a dozen pages, and just the thought of writing an entire book filled him with the fear of overwhelming challenges and endless hard work.

In time, however, he was able to read. He had a pleasure in contemplating the little collection of sterling books that alone remained to him from his library; the sight of many volumes would have been a weariness, but these few—when he was again able to think of books at all—were as friendly countenances. He could not read continuously, but sometimes he opened his Shakespeare, for instance, and dreamed over a page or two. From such glimpses there remained in his head a line or a short passage, which he kept repeating to himself wherever he went; generally some example of sweet or sonorous metre which had a soothing effect upon him.

Eventually, he was able to read. He found joy in looking at the small collection of valuable books that were all that remained from his library; seeing many volumes would have been overwhelming, but these few—when he could think about books again—felt like familiar friends. He couldn't read for long periods, but sometimes he would open his Shakespeare, for instance, and drift off over a page or two. From those brief moments, a line or a short passage would stick in his mind, and he would keep repeating it to himself wherever he went; usually something sweet or melodious that had a calming effect on him.

With odd result on one occasion. He was walking in one of the back streets of Islington, and stopped idly to gaze into the window of some small shop. Standing thus, he forgot himself and presently recited aloud:

With a strange outcome one time. He was strolling down one of the back streets of Islington and paused to look into the window of a small shop. While standing there, he lost track of time and soon found himself reciting aloud:

      ‘Caesar, ‘tis his schoolmaster:
      An argument that he is pluck’d, when hither
      He sends so poor a pinion of his wing,
      Which had superfluous kings for messengers
      Not many moons gone by.’
    
      ‘Caesar, he’s just his schoolmaster:  
      It’s proof that he’s losing his edge when he sends  
      such a weak part of his strength here,  
      when not long ago he had plenty of kings as messengers.’

The last two lines he uttered a second time, enjoying their magnificent sound, and then was brought back to consciousness by the loud mocking laugh of two men standing close by, who evidently looked upon him as a strayed lunatic.

The last two lines he said again, savoring their beautiful sound, and then he was jolted back to reality by the loud, mocking laughter of two men nearby, who clearly saw him as a wandering lunatic.

He kept one suit of clothes for his hours of attendance at the hospital; it was still decent, and with much care would remain so for a long time. That which he wore at home and in his street wanderings declared poverty at every point; it had been discarded before he left the old abode. In his present state of mind he cared nothing how disreputable he looked to passers-by. These seedy habiliments were the token of his degradation, and at times he regarded them (happening to see himself in a shop mirror) with pleasurable contempt. The same spirit often led him for a meal to the poorest of eating-houses, places where he rubbed elbows with ragged creatures who had somehow obtained the price of a cup of coffee and a slice of bread and butter. He liked to contrast himself with these comrades in misfortune. ‘This is the rate at which the world esteems me; I am worth no better provision than this.’ Or else, instead of emphasising the contrast, he defiantly took a place among the miserables of the nether world, and nursed hatred of all who were well-to-do.

He had one set of clothes for when he went to the hospital; it was still decent and, with some care, would stay that way for a while. What he wore at home and during his street wanderings clearly showed his poverty; it had been cast aside before he left his old place. In his current mindset, he didn't care at all how shabby he appeared to people passing by. These worn-out clothes were a sign of his downfall, and sometimes he looked at them (when he caught his reflection in a shop mirror) with a mix of pleasure and scorn. This same attitude often led him to eat at the cheapest diners, where he shared space with ragged individuals who had somehow scraped together enough for a cup of coffee and a slice of bread and butter. He enjoyed contrasting himself with these fellow sufferers. “This is how the world values me; I deserve no better than this.” Alternatively, instead of highlighting the difference, he boldly took a seat among the downtrodden and harbored resentment toward those who were well-off.

One of these he desired to regard with gratitude, but found it difficult to support that feeling. Carter, the vivacious, though at first perfectly unembarrassed in his relations with the City Road clerk, gradually exhibited a change of demeanour. Reardon occasionally found the young man’s eye fixed upon him with a singular expression, and the secretary’s talk, though still as a rule genial, was wont to suffer curious interruptions, during which he seemed to be musing on something Reardon had said, or on some point of his behaviour. The explanation of this was that Carter had begun to think there might be a foundation for Mrs Yule’s hypothesis—that the novelist was not altogether in his sound senses. At first he scouted the idea, but as time went on it seemed to him that Reardon’s countenance certainly had a gaunt wildness which suggested disagreeable things. Especially did he remark this after his return from an August holiday in Norway. On coming for the first time to the City Road branch he sat down and began to favour Reardon with a lively description of how he had enjoyed himself abroad; it never occurred to him that such talk was not likely to inspirit the man who had passed his August between the garret and the hospital, but he observed before long that his listener was glancing hither and thither in rather a strange way.

One of these he wanted to appreciate, but found it hard to hold onto that feeling. Carter, who was lively and initially completely relaxed around the City Road clerk, gradually showed a shift in his behavior. Reardon occasionally caught the young man’s gaze locked onto him with a peculiar look, and while the secretary's conversation generally remained friendly, it often faced strange interruptions where he seemed lost in thought about something Reardon had said or some aspect of his behavior. The reason for this was that Carter had started to consider that there might be some truth to Mrs. Yule’s theory—that the novelist wasn’t entirely in his right mind. At first, he dismissed the idea, but as time passed, he noticed that Reardon’s face had an unsettling wildness that hinted at troubling things. He especially noted this after returning from a holiday in Norway in August. When he first arrived at the City Road branch, he sat down and began to share a lively account of his enjoyable time abroad; it never crossed his mind that such conversation wouldn't likely lift the spirits of someone who had spent his August stuck between a cramped space and the hospital, but he soon realized that Reardon was glancing around in a rather odd manner.

‘You haven’t been ill since I saw you?’ he inquired.

‘You haven't been sick since I last saw you?’ he asked.

‘Oh no!’

‘Oh no!’

‘But you look as if you might have been. I say, we must manage for you to have a fortnight off, you know, this month.’

‘But you look like you might have been. I say, we need to make sure you get two weeks off, you know, this month.’

‘I have no wish for it,’ said Reardon. ‘I’ll imagine I have been to Norway. It has done me good to hear of your holiday.’

‘I don’t want it,’ Reardon said. ‘I’ll just imagine I’ve been to Norway. Hearing about your vacation has been good for me.’

‘I’m glad of that; but it isn’t quite the same thing, you know, as having a run somewhere yourself.’

‘I’m glad about that; but it’s not quite the same as actually going somewhere yourself.’

‘Oh, much better! To enjoy myself may be mere selfishness, but to enjoy another’s enjoyment is the purest satisfaction, good for body and soul. I am cultivating altruism.’

‘Oh, much better! Enjoying myself might be just selfishness, but enjoying someone else's happiness is the greatest satisfaction, good for both body and soul. I'm working on being more selfless.’

‘What’s that?’

‘What’s that?’

‘A highly rarefied form of happiness. The curious thing about it is that it won’t grow unless you have just twice as much faith in it as is required for assent to the Athanasian Creed.’

'A highly rarefied form of happiness. The interesting thing about it is that it won’t grow unless you have exactly double the faith in it as is required to agree with the Athanasian Creed.'

‘Oh!’

‘Oh!’

Carter went away more than puzzled. He told his wife that evening that Reardon had been talking to him in the most extraordinary fashion—no understanding a word he said.

Carter left feeling more confused than ever. He told his wife that evening that Reardon had been speaking to him in the most bizarre way—he couldn't make sense of a single word.

All this time he was on the look-out for employment that would be more suitable to his unfortunate clerk. Whether slightly demented or not, Reardon gave no sign of inability to discharge his duties; he was conscientious as ever, and might, unless he changed greatly, be relied upon in positions of more responsibility than his present one. And at length, early in October, there came to the secretary’s knowledge an opportunity with which he lost no time in acquainting Reardon. The latter repaired that evening to Clipstone Street, and climbed to Biffen’s chamber. He entered with a cheerful look, and exclaimed:

All this time he was on the lookout for a job that would be more suitable for his unfortunate clerk. Whether he was slightly off or not, Reardon showed no signs of being unable to do his tasks; he was as diligent as ever and could, unless he changed significantly, be trusted in roles with more responsibility than his current one. Finally, early in October, the secretary found out about an opportunity and wasted no time telling Reardon. That evening, Reardon went to Clipstone Street and headed up to Biffen's room. He walked in with a bright expression and said:

‘I have just invented a riddle; see if you can guess it. Why is a London lodging-house like the human body?’

‘I just came up with a riddle; see if you can figure it out. Why is a London boarding house like the human body?’

Biffen looked with some concern at his friend, so unwonted was a sally of this kind.

Biffen looked at his friend with some worry, as this kind of outburst was so unusual.

‘Why is a London lodging-house—? Haven’t the least idea.’

‘Why is a London lodging house—? I have no idea at all.’

‘Because the brains are always at the top. Not bad, I think, eh?’

‘Because the brains are always on top. Not bad, I guess, right?’

‘Well, no; it’ll pass. Distinctly professional though. The general public would fail to see the point, I’m afraid. But what has come to you?’

‘Well, no; it’ll pass. Definitely professional, though. Unfortunately, the general public wouldn’t understand the point. But what’s up with you?’

‘Good tidings. Carter has offered me a place which will be a decided improvement. A house found—or rooms, at all events—and salary a hundred and fifty a year.

‘Good news. Carter has offered me a position that will definitely be an upgrade. A house found—or at least, some rooms—and a salary of one hundred and fifty a year.

‘By Plutus! That’s good hearing. Some duties attached, I suppose?’

‘By Plutus! That’s great to hear. There are some responsibilities involved, I assume?’

‘I’m afraid that was inevitable, as things go. It’s the secretaryship of a home for destitute boys at Croydon. The post is far from a sinecure, Carter assures me. There’s a great deal of purely secretarial work, and there’s a great deal of practical work, some of it rather rough, I fancy. It seems doubtful whether I am exactly the man. The present holder is a burly fellow over six feet high, delighting in gymnastics, and rather fond of a fight now and then when opportunity offers. But he is departing at Christmas—going somewhere as a missionary; and I can have the place if I choose.’

‘I’m afraid that was bound to happen. It’s for the secretary position at a home for underprivileged boys in Croydon. Carter tells me the job isn’t easy at all. There’s a lot of typical secretarial work, and there’s also a lot of hands-on work, some of which could get a bit tough, I think. It’s unclear whether I’m really the right person for it. The current guy is a big guy, over six feet tall, who loves gymnastics and enjoys a good fight when he gets the chance. But he’s leaving at Christmas—heading off somewhere as a missionary; and I can take the job if I want it.’

‘As I suppose you do?’

"Like I assume you do?"

‘Yes. I shall try it, decidedly.’

‘Yes. I’m definitely going to give it a try.’

Biffen waited a little, then asked:

Biffen waited for a moment, then asked:

‘I suppose your wife will go with you?’

‘I guess your wife will be going with you?’

‘There’s no saying.’

'There’s no telling.'

Reardon tried to answer indifferently, but it could be seen that he was agitated between hopes and fears.

Reardon tried to respond casually, but it was clear that he was torn between hope and fear.

‘You’ll ask her, at all events?’

‘You’ll ask her, no matter what?’

‘Oh yes,’ was the half-absent reply.

‘Oh yeah,’ was the partly distracted reply.

‘But surely there can be no doubt that she’ll come. A hundred and fifty a year, without rent to pay. Why, that’s affluence!’

‘But there’s no doubt she’ll come. One hundred and fifty a year, with no rent to pay. That’s wealth!’

‘The rooms I might occupy are in the home itself. Amy won’t take very readily to a dwelling of that kind. And Croydon isn’t the most inviting locality.’

‘The rooms I could stay in are actually in the house. Amy isn't likely to easily accept a place like that. Plus, Croydon isn't the most welcoming area.’

‘Close to delightful country.’

‘Near charming countryside.’

‘Yes, yes; but Amy doesn’t care about that.’

‘Yeah, yeah; but Amy doesn’t care about that.’

‘You misjudge her, Reardon. You are too harsh. I implore you not to lose the chance of setting all right again! If only you could be put into my position for a moment, and then be offered the companionship of such a wife as yours!’

‘You’re misjudging her, Reardon. You're being too hard on her. I urge you not to miss the opportunity to make things right again! If only you could see things from my perspective for just a moment and then be offered the companionship of a wonderful wife like yours!’

Reardon listened with a face of lowering excitement.

Reardon listened with a look of growing disappointment.

‘I should be perfectly within my rights,’ he said sternly, ‘if I merely told her when I have taken the position, and let her ask me to take her back—if she wishes.’

"I would be completely justified," he said firmly, "if I just told her when I’ve taken the position and let her ask me to take her back—if she wants to."

‘You have changed a great deal this last year,’ replied Biffen, shaking his head, ‘a great deal. I hope to see you your old self again before long. I should have declared it impossible for you to become so rugged. Go and see your wife, there’s a good fellow.’

‘You’ve changed a lot this past year,’ Biffen said, shaking his head, ‘a lot. I hope to see you back to your old self again soon. I would have thought it impossible for you to become so tough. Go see your wife, you good man.’

‘No; I shall write to her.’

‘No; I’m going to write to her.’

‘Go and see her, I beg you! No good ever came of letter-writing between two people who have misunderstood each other. Go to Westbourne Park to-morrow. And be reasonable; be more than reasonable. The happiness of your life depends on what you do now. Be content to forget whatever wrong has been done you. To think that a man should need persuading to win back such a wife!’

‘Please go see her, I’m begging you! Nothing good ever comes from writing letters when two people have misunderstood each other. Go to Westbourne Park tomorrow. And be sensible; be more than sensible. Your future happiness depends on what you do right now. Be willing to forget any wrongs done to you. Can you believe a man would need to be convinced to win back such a wife?’

In truth, there needed little persuasion. Perverseness, one of the forms or issues of self-pity, made him strive against his desire, and caused him to adopt a tone of acerbity in excess of what he felt; but already he had made up his mind to see Amy. Even if this excuse had not presented itself he must very soon have yielded to the longing for a sight of his wife’s face which day by day increased among all the conflicting passions of which he was the victim. A month or two ago, when the summer sunshine made his confinement to the streets a daily torture, he convinced himself that there remained in him no trace of his love for Amy; there were moments when he thought of her with repugnance, as a cold, selfish woman, who had feigned affection when it seemed her interest to do so, but brutally declared her true self when there was no longer anything to be hoped from him. That was the self-deception of misery. Love, even passion, was still alive in the depths of his being; the animation with which he sped to his friend as soon as a new hope had risen was the best proof of his feeling.

In reality, he needed little convincing. His stubbornness, a form of self-pity, made him resist his desires and adopt a harsher attitude than he actually felt; but he had already decided to see Amy. Even without this excuse, he would soon have given in to his increasing longing to see his wife’s face, a yearning that grew daily among all the conflicting emotions he was experiencing. A month or two ago, when the summer sun made his confinement feel like daily torture, he had convinced himself that he no longer had any love for Amy. There were times when he thought of her with disgust, viewing her as a cold, selfish woman who pretended to care when it suited her but revealed her true nature when there was nothing more to gain from him. That was the self-deception of misery. Love, even passion, was still deep within him; the excitement he felt as he rushed to his friend as soon as a new hope emerged was the best proof of his feelings.

He went home and wrote to Amy.

He went home and texted Amy.

‘I have a reason for wishing to see you. Will you have the kindness to appoint an hour on Sunday morning when I can speak with you in private? It must be understood that I shall see no one else.’

‘I have a reason for wanting to see you. Could you please set a time on Sunday morning when I can talk to you privately? It has to be clear that I won’t be seeing anyone else.’

She would receive this by the first post to-morrow, Saturday, and doubtless would let him hear in reply some time in the afternoon. Impatience allowed him little sleep, and the next day was a long weariness of waiting. The evening he would have to spend at the hospital; if there came no reply before the time of his leaving home, he knew not how he should compel himself to the ordinary routine of work. Yet the hour came, and he had heard nothing. He was tempted to go at once to Westbourne Park, but reason prevailed with him. When he again entered the house, having walked at his utmost speed from the City Road, the letter lay waiting for him; it had been pushed beneath his door, and when he struck a match he found that one of his feet was upon the white envelope.

She would get this by the first post tomorrow, Saturday, and would probably reply in the afternoon. His impatience made it hard for him to sleep, and the next day dragged on as he waited. He would have to spend the evening at the hospital; if he didn’t get a reply before he had to leave home, he didn’t know how he would force himself to stick to his normal work routine. But the time came, and he hadn’t heard anything. He was tempted to head straight to Westbourne Park, but reason won out. When he finally got back home, having walked as fast as he could from the City Road, the letter was waiting for him; it had been slipped under his door, and when he struck a match, he found one of his feet resting on the white envelope.

Amy wrote that she would be at home at eleven to-morrow morning. Not another word.

Amy wrote that she would be home at eleven tomorrow morning. Not another word.

In all probability she knew of the offer that had been made to him; Mrs Carter would have told her. Was it of good or of ill omen that she wrote only these half-dozen words? Half through the night he plagued himself with suppositions, now thinking that her brevity promised a welcome, now that she wished to warn him against expecting anything but a cold, offended demeanour. At seven he was dressed; two hours and a half had to be killed before he could start on his walk westward. He would have wandered about the streets, but it rained.

In all likelihood, she was aware of the offer made to him; Mrs. Carter would have told her. Was it a good or bad sign that she wrote only these six words? He spent half the night torturing himself with guesses, sometimes thinking her short message meant a warm reception, other times believing it was a warning not to expect anything but a cold, offended attitude. By seven, he was dressed; he had to fill two and a half hours before he could begin his walk west. He would have roamed the streets, but it was raining.

He had made himself as decent as possible in appearance, but he must necessarily seem an odd Sunday visitor at a house such as Mrs Yule’s. His soft felt hat, never brushed for months, was a greyish green, and stained round the band with perspiration. His necktie was discoloured and worn. Coat and waistcoat might pass muster, but of the trousers the less said the better. One of his boots was patched, and both were all but heelless.

He had done his best to look presentable, but he still stood out as an unusual Sunday guest at a place like Mrs. Yule's. His soft felt hat, which hadn’t been brushed in months, was a faded green and stained around the band with sweat. His necktie was faded and frayed. His coat and waistcoat looked okay, but there wasn't much to say about his trousers. One of his boots was patched, and both were nearly lacking heels.

Very well; let her see him thus. Let her understand what it meant to live on twelve and sixpence a week.

Very well; let her see him like this. Let her understand what it meant to live on twelve shillings and six pence a week.

Though it was cold and wet he could not put on his overcoat. Three years ago it had been a fairly good ulster; at present, the edges of the sleeves were frayed, two buttons were missing, and the original hue of the cloth was indeterminable.

Though it was cold and wet, he couldn't put on his overcoat. Three years ago, it had been a pretty decent ulster; now, the edges of the sleeves were frayed, two buttons were missing, and the original color of the fabric was undiscernible.

At half-past nine he set out and struggled with his shabby umbrella against wind and rain. Down Pentonville Hill, up Euston Road, all along Marylebone Road, then north-westwards towards the point of his destination. It was a good six miles from the one house to the other, but he arrived before the appointed time, and had to stray about until the cessation of bell-clanging and the striking of clocks told him it was eleven. Then he presented himself at the familiar door.

At 9:30, he left and fought with his worn-out umbrella against the wind and rain. He went down Pentonville Hill, up Euston Road, all along Marylebone Road, then northwest toward his destination. It was a good six miles from one house to the other, but he got there before the scheduled time and had to wander around until the ringing of bells and the chimes of clocks informed him it was 11. Then he showed up at the familiar door.

On his asking for Mrs Reardon, he was at once admitted and led up to the drawing-room; the servant did not ask his name.

On his request to see Mrs. Reardon, he was immediately let in and shown to the living room; the servant didn’t ask for his name.

Then he waited for a minute or two, feeling himself a squalid wretch amid the dainty furniture. The door opened. Amy, in a simple but very becoming dress, approached to within a yard of him; after the first glance she had averted her eyes, and she did not offer to shake hands. He saw that his muddy and shapeless boots drew her attention.

Then he waited for a minute or two, feeling like a miserable wretch among the elegant furniture. The door opened. Amy, in a simple but very flattering dress, came within a yard of him; after the first glance, she looked away and didn't offer to shake hands. He noticed that his dirty and misshapen boots caught her attention.

‘Do you know why I have come?’ he asked.

‘Do you know why I’m here?’ he asked.

He meant the tone to be conciliatory, but he could not command his voice, and it sounded rough, hostile.

He intended his tone to be friendly, but he couldn't control his voice, and it came out sounding harsh and aggressive.

‘I think so,’ Amy answered, seating herself gracefully. She would have spoken with less dignity but for that accent of his.

‘I think so,’ Amy replied, sitting down gracefully. She would have spoken in a less formal way if it weren't for his accent.

‘The Carters have told you?’

"Have the Carters told you?"

‘Yes; I have heard about it.’

"Sure; I've heard of it."

There was no promise in her manner. She kept her face turned away, and Reardon saw its beautiful profile, hard and cold as though in marble.

There was no promise in her demeanor. She kept her face turned away, and Reardon saw its beautiful profile, hard and cold as if carved from marble.

‘It doesn’t interest you at all?’

‘You’re not interested in it at all?’

‘I am glad to hear that a better prospect offers for you.’

‘I’m happy to hear that a better opportunity is coming your way.’

He did not sit down, and was holding his rusty hat behind his back.

He didn't sit down and was holding his rusty hat behind his back.

‘You speak as if it in no way concerned yourself. Is that what you wish me to understand?’

‘You talk like it doesn't concern you at all. Is that what you want me to think?’

‘Won’t it be better if you tell me why you have come here? As you are resolved to find offence in whatever I say, I prefer to keep silence. Please to let me know why you have asked to see me.’

‘Wouldn't it be better if you told me why you're here? Since you're determined to take offense at whatever I say, I'd rather remain quiet. Please let me know why you wanted to see me.’

Reardon turned abruptly as if to leave her, but checked himself at a little distance.

Reardon turned suddenly as if he was going to walk away from her, but paused a short distance away.

Both had come to this meeting prepared for a renewal of amity, but in these first few moments each was so disagreeably impressed by the look and language of the other that a revulsion of feeling undid all the more hopeful effects of their long severance. On entering, Amy had meant to offer her hand, but the unexpected meanness of Reardon’s aspect shocked and restrained her. All but every woman would have experienced that shrinking from the livery of poverty. Amy had but to reflect, and she understood that her husband could in no wise help this shabbiness; when he parted from her his wardrobe was already in a long-suffering condition, and how was he to have purchased new garments since then? None the less such attire degraded him in her eyes; it symbolised the melancholy decline which he had suffered intellectually. On Reardon his wife’s elegance had the same repellent effect, though this would not have been the case but for the expression of her countenance. Had it been possible for them to remain together during the first five minutes without exchange of words, sympathies might have prevailed on both sides; the first speech uttered would most likely have harmonised with their gentler thoughts. But the mischief was done so speedily.

Both had come to this meeting hoping to rekindle their friendship, but in those first few moments, each was so turned off by the appearance and demeanor of the other that any positive feelings from their long separation vanished. When Amy arrived, she intended to offer her hand, but the unexpected roughness of Reardon’s look shocked and held her back. Almost every woman would feel that instinctive aversion to the signs of poverty. Amy just needed to think it through to realize that her husband couldn’t do anything about this shabby appearance; when he left her, his clothes were already in rough shape, and how could he have bought new ones since then? Still, such attire made him seem lesser in her eyes; it represented the sad decline he had faced intellectually. Similarly, Reardon found his wife's elegance off-putting, though this wouldn’t have been the case if it weren’t for the look on her face. If they could have spent those first five minutes together without speaking, they might have felt some sympathy for each other; the first words exchanged would probably have matched their kinder feelings. But the damage was done too quickly.

A man must indeed be graciously endowed if his personal appearance can defy the disadvantage of cheap modern clothing worn into shapelessness. Reardon had no such remarkable physique, and it was not wonderful that his wife felt ashamed of him. Strictly ashamed; he seemed to her a social inferior; the impression was so strong that it resisted all memory of his spiritual qualities. She might have anticipated this state of things, and have armed herself to encounter it, but somehow she had not done so. For more than five months she had been living among people who dressed well; the contrast was too suddenly forced upon her. She was especially susceptible in such matters, and had become none the less so under the demoralising influence of her misfortunes. True, she soon began to feel ashamed of her shame, but that could not annihilate the natural feeling and its results.

A man must truly be well-endowed if his looks can overcome the drawback of cheap modern clothing that has become shapeless. Reardon did not have such a remarkable appearance, and it’s no surprise that his wife felt embarrassed by him. She felt genuinely ashamed; to her, he seemed socially inferior. The impression was so strong that it overshadowed all memories of his inner qualities. She might have expected this situation and prepared herself for it, but somehow she hadn’t. For more than five months, she had been around people who dressed well; the contrast hit her too suddenly. She was particularly sensitive to such things, and her struggles had only intensified that. It’s true that she soon began to feel ashamed of her embarrassment, but that didn’t erase the natural feelings and their effects.

‘I don’t love him. I can’t love him.’ Thus she spoke to herself, with immutable decision. She had been doubtful till now, but all doubt was at an end. Had Reardon been practical man enough to procure by hook or by crook a decent suit of clothes for this interview, that ridiculous trifle might have made all the difference in what was to result.

‘I don’t love him. I can’t love him.’ She said this to herself with unchanging determination. She had been unsure until now, but all uncertainty was gone. If Reardon had been practical enough to somehow get a decent suit of clothes for this meeting, that small detail might have changed everything about what was to come.

He turned again, and spoke with the harshness of a man who feels that he is despised, and is determined to show an equal contempt.

He turned again and spoke with the bitterness of someone who feels hated and is determined to show equal disdain.

‘I came to ask you what you propose to do in case I go to Croydon.’

‘I came to ask you what you plan to do if I go to Croydon.’

‘I have no proposal to make whatever.’

‘I have no proposal to make at all.’

‘That means, then, that you are content to go on living here?’

'So, that means you’re okay with continuing to live here?'

‘If I have no choice, I must make myself content.’

‘If I have no choice, I have to make myself happy.’

‘But you have a choice.’

"But you can choose."

‘None has yet been offered me.’

‘No one has offered me anything yet.’

‘Then I offer it now,’ said Reardon, speaking less aggressively. ‘I shall have a dwelling rent free, and a hundred and fifty pounds a year—perhaps it would be more in keeping with my station if I say that I shall have something less than three pounds a week. You can either accept from me half this money, as up to now, or come and take your place again as my wife. Please to decide what you will do.’

‘Then I’m offering it now,’ Reardon said, speaking less aggressively. ‘I’ll have a place to live rent-free and one hundred fifty pounds a year—maybe it sounds better if I say that I’ll have something just under three pounds a week. You can either take half of this money from me like before or come back and be my wife again. Please decide what you want to do.’

‘I will let you know by letter in a few days.’

‘I’ll let you know by letter in a few days.’

It seemed impossible to her to say she would return, yet a refusal to do so involved nothing less than separation for the rest of their lives. Postponement of decision was her only resource.

It felt impossible for her to say she would come back, but saying no meant they would be apart for the rest of their lives. Delaying her decision was her only option.

‘I must know at once,’ said Reardon.

‘I need to know right now,’ said Reardon.

‘I can’t answer at once.’

"I can't answer right now."

‘If you don’t, I shall understand you to mean that you refuse to come to me. You know the circumstances; there is no reason why you should consult with anyone else. You can answer me immediately if you will.’

‘If you don’t, I’ll take it to mean that you’re refusing to come to me. You know what’s going on; there’s no reason for you to talk to anyone else. You can respond to me right away if you choose.’

‘I don’t wish to answer you immediately,’ Amy replied, paling slightly.

‘I don’t want to answer you right away,’ Amy replied, going a bit pale.

‘Then that decides it. When I leave you we are strangers to each other.’

‘Then that settles it. When I walk away from you, we will be strangers to each other.’

Amy made a rapid study of his countenance. She had never entertained for a moment the supposition that his wits were unsettled, but none the less the constant recurrence of that idea in her mother’s talk had subtly influenced her against her husband. It had confirmed her in thinking that his behaviour was inexcusable. And now it seemed to her that anyone might be justified in holding him demented, so reckless was his utterance.

Amy quickly studied his face. She had never thought for a second that he was losing his mind, but still, the frequent mentions of that idea in her mother’s conversations had subtly influenced her view of her husband. It had strengthened her belief that his behavior was unacceptable. Now, it appeared to her that anyone could reasonably think he was crazy, given how reckless his words were.

It was difficult to know him as the man who had loved her so devotedly, who was incapable of an unkind word or look.

It was hard to see him as the man who had loved her so devotedly, who couldn’t say or do a single unkind thing.

‘If that is what you prefer,’ she said, ‘there must be a formal separation. I can’t trust my future to your caprice.’

‘If that’s what you want,’ she said, ‘there needs to be a formal separation. I can’t rely on my future being in your hands.’

‘You mean it must be put into the hands of a lawyer?’

‘You mean it has to be given to a lawyer?’

‘Yes, I do.’

"Yes, I do."

‘That will be the best, no doubt.’

‘That will be the best, no question.’

‘Very well; I will speak with my friends about it.’

‘Alright; I'll talk to my friends about it.’

‘Your friends!’ he exclaimed bitterly. ‘But for those friends of yours, this would never have happened. I wish you had been alone in the world and penniless.’

“Your friends!” he said angrily. “If it weren't for those friends of yours, this would never have happened. I wish you had been all alone in the world and broke.”

‘A kind wish, all things considered.’

‘A nice thought, all things considered.’

‘Yes, it is a kind wish. Then your marriage with me would have been binding; you would have known that my lot was yours, and the knowledge would have helped your weakness. I begin to see how much right there is on the side of those people who would keep women in subjection. You have been allowed to act with independence, and the result is that you have ruined my life and debased your own. If I had been strong enough to treat you as a child, and bid you follow me wherever my own fortunes led, it would have been as much better for you as for me. I was weak, and I suffer as all weak people do.’

'Yes, that's a kind wish. Then marrying me would have meant something; you would have realized that my fate was tied to yours, and that understanding would have supported your vulnerabilities. I'm starting to see how justified those people are who want to keep women under control. You've been allowed to act independently, and the result is that you’ve destroyed my life and diminished your own. If I had been strong enough to treat you like a child and asked you to follow me wherever my path led, it would have been better for both of us. I was weak, and I endure the suffering that all weak people feel.'

‘You think it was my duty to share such a home as you have at present?’

‘Do you really think it was my responsibility to share a home like yours now?’

‘You know it was. And if the choice had lain between that and earning your own livelihood you would have thought that even such a poor home might be made tolerable. There were possibilities in you of better things than will ever come out now.’

‘You know it was. And if the choice had been between that and making your own living, you would have thought that even a modest home could be made bearable. There were possibilities within you for better things than will ever come to light now.’

There followed a silence. Amy sat with her eyes gloomily fixed on the carpet; Reardon looked about the room, but saw nothing. He had thrown his hat into a chair, and his fingers worked nervously together behind his back.

There was a silent pause. Amy sat with her eyes sadly focused on the carpet; Reardon glanced around the room but noticed nothing. He had tossed his hat onto a chair, and his fingers fidgeted nervously behind his back.

‘Will you tell me,’ he said at length, ‘how your position is regarded by these friends of yours? I don’t mean your mother and brother, but the people who come to this house.’

“Can you tell me,” he said after a while, “how your friends see your situation? I’m not talking about your mother and brother, but the people who visit this house.”

‘I have not asked such people for their opinion.’

‘I haven't asked those people for their opinion.’

‘Still, I suppose some sort of explanation has been necessary in your intercourse with them. How have you represented your relations with me?’

‘Still, I guess some kind of explanation has been needed in your dealings with them. How have you described our relationship?’

‘I can’t see that that concerns you.’

‘I don’t see how that involves you.’

‘In a manner it does. Certainly it matters very little to me how I am thought of by people of this kind, but one doesn’t like to be reviled without cause. Have you allowed it to be supposed that I have made life with me intolerable for you?’

'In a way, it does. Honestly, I don't really care how people like that think of me, but no one likes to be criticized without reason. Have you let it be assumed that I have made life unbearable for you?'

‘No, I have not. You insult me by asking the question, but as you don’t seem to understand feelings of that kind I may as well answer you simply.’

‘No, I haven’t. It’s insulting to even ask, but since you don’t seem to grasp those kinds of feelings, I might as well just answer you straightforwardly.’

‘Then have you told them the truth? That I became so poor you couldn’t live with me?’

‘So, have you told them the truth? That I got so broke you couldn’t live with me?’

‘I have never said that in so many words, but no doubt it is understood. It must be known also that you refused to take the step which might have helped you out of your difficulties.’

‘I have never said that in so many words, but I'm sure it's understood. It should also be known that you chose not to take the step that could have helped you out of your troubles.’

‘What step?’

‘Which step?’

She reminded him of his intention to spend half a year in working at the seaside.

She reminded him of his plan to spend six months working by the beach.

‘I had utterly forgotten it,’ he returned with a mocking laugh. ‘That shows how ridiculous such a thing would have been.’

‘I completely forgot about it,’ he said with a mocking laugh. ‘That just proves how silly that would have been.’

‘You are doing no literary work at all?’ Amy asked.

‘Are you not doing any writing at all?’ Amy asked.

‘Do you imagine that I have the peace of mind necessary for anything of that sort?’

‘Do you think I have the peace of mind needed for anything like that?’

This was in a changed voice. It reminded her so strongly of her husband before his disasters that she could not frame a reply.

This was in a different voice. It reminded her so much of her husband before everything went wrong that she couldn’t find the words to respond.

‘Do you think I am able to occupy myself with the affairs of imaginary people?’

‘Do you think I can concern myself with the matters of fictional people?’

‘I didn’t necessarily mean fiction.’

"I didn't mean fiction specifically."

‘That I can forget myself, then, in the study of literature?—I wonder whether you really think of me like that. How, in Heaven’s name, do you suppose I spend my leisure time?’

'That I can lose myself in the study of literature?—I wonder if you really see me that way. How on Earth do you think I spend my free time?'

She made no answer.

She didn't respond.

‘Do you think I take this calamity as light-heartedly as you do, Amy?’

‘Do you think I take this disaster as lightly as you do, Amy?’

‘I am far from taking it light-heartedly.’

‘I am far from taking it lightly.’

‘Yet you are in good health. I see no sign that you have suffered.’

‘But you're in good health. I see no signs that you've been through anything.’

She kept silence. Her suffering had been slight enough, and chiefly due to considerations of social propriety; but she would not avow this, and did not like to make admission of it to herself. Before her friends she frequently affected to conceal a profound sorrow; but so long as her child was left to her she was in no danger of falling a victim to sentimental troubles.

She stayed quiet. Her pain had been minor, mostly because of social expectations; but she wouldn’t admit this, even to herself. In front of her friends, she often pretended to hide a deep sadness; however, as long as her child was with her, she was safe from getting caught up in sentimental troubles.

‘And certainly I can’t believe it,’ he continued, ‘now you declare your wish to be formally separated from me.’

‘And I really can't believe it,’ he continued, ‘now you say you want to be officially separated from me.’

‘I have declared no such wish.’

‘I haven’t expressed any such wish.’

‘Indeed you have. If you can hesitate a moment about returning to me when difficulties are at an end, that tells me you would prefer final separation.’

‘You've definitely shown that. If you can pause for a moment about coming back to me once the challenges are over, that tells me you'd rather have a permanent separation.’

‘I hesitate for this reason,’ Amy said after reflecting. ‘You are so very greatly changed from what you used to be, that I think it doubtful if I could live with you.’

‘I hesitate for this reason,’ Amy said after thinking it over. ‘You’ve changed so much from who you used to be that I’m not sure I could live with you.’

‘Changed?—Yes, that is true, I am afraid. But how do you think this change will affect my behaviour to you?’

‘Changed?—Yes, that’s true, I’m afraid. But how do you think this change will affect my behavior towards you?’

‘Remember how you have been speaking to me.’

‘Remember how you’ve been talking to me.’

‘And you think I should treat you brutally if you came into my power?’

‘So you think I should treat you harshly if I had control over you?’

‘Not brutally, in the ordinary sense of the word. But with faults of temper which I couldn’t bear. I have my own faults. I can’t behave as meekly as some women can.’

‘Not harshly, in the usual sense of the word. But with temper issues that I couldn’t tolerate. I have my own flaws. I can’t act as submissively as some women can.’

It was a small concession, but Reardon made much of it.

It was a small concession, but Reardon made a big deal out of it.

‘Did my faults of temper give you any trouble during the first year of our married life?’ he asked gently.

“Did my temper issues cause you any trouble during our first year of marriage?” he asked softly.

‘No,’ she admitted.

‘No,’ she confessed.

‘They began to afflict you when I was so hard driven by difficulties that I needed all your sympathy, all your forbearance. Did I receive much of either from you, Amy?’

‘They started to trouble you when I was facing so many challenges that I needed all your support and patience. Did I get much of either from you, Amy?’

‘I think you did—until you demanded impossible things of me.’

‘I think you did—until you asked for things that were impossible for me.’

‘It was always in your power to rule me. What pained me worst, and hardened me against you, was that I saw you didn’t care to exert your influence. There was never a time when I could have resisted a word of yours spoken out of your love for me. But even then, I am afraid, you no longer loved me, and now—’

‘You always had the ability to control me. What hurt me the most and made me distant from you was realizing that you didn't care to use that power. There was never a moment when I could have ignored anything you said out of love for me. But even back then, I’m afraid you didn’t love me anymore, and now—’

He broke off, and stood watching her face.

He paused and stood there, watching her face.

‘Have you any love for me left?’ burst from his lips, as if the words all but choked him in the utterance.

‘Do you still have any love for me?’ he exclaimed, as if the words nearly choked him as he spoke.

Amy tried to shape some evasive answer, but could say nothing.

Amy tried to come up with a vague answer, but couldn't say anything.

‘Is there ever so small a hope that I might win some love from you again?’

‘Is there even the slightest chance that I could win back some of your love?’

‘If you wish me to come and live with you when you go to Croydon I will do so.’

‘If you want me to come and live with you when you go to Croydon, I will do that.’

‘But that is not answering me, Amy.’

‘But that's not answering my question, Amy.’

‘It’s all I can say.’

‘That’s all I can say.’

‘Then you mean that you would sacrifice yourself out of—what? Out of pity for me, let us say.’

‘So you’re saying you would give up everything for—what? Out of pity for me, let’s say.’

‘Do you wish to see Willie?’ asked Amy, instead of replying.

‘Do you want to see Willie?’ Amy asked, instead of replying.

‘No. It is you I have come to see. The child is nothing to me, compared with you. It is you, who loved me, who became my wife—you only I care about. Tell me you will try to be as you used to be. Give me only that hope, Amy; I will ask nothing except that, now.’

‘No. I came to see you. The child means nothing to me compared to you. It’s you who loved me and became my wife—you’re the only one I care about. Please tell me you’ll try to be like you used to be. Just give me that hope, Amy; I won’t ask for anything else from you now.’

‘I can’t say anything except that I will come to Croydon if you wish it.’

'I can't say anything else except that I'll come to Croydon if you want me to.'

‘And reproach me always because you have to live in such a place, away from your friends, without a hope of the social success which was your dearest ambition?’

‘And constantly blame me because you have to live in such a place, far from your friends, without any chance of the social success that was your greatest dream?’

Her practical denial that she loved him wrung this taunt from his anguished heart. He repented the words as soon as they were spoken.

Her stubborn denial that she loved him pulled this taunt from his pained heart. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.

‘What is the good?’ exclaimed Amy in irritation, rising and moving away from him. ‘How can I pretend that I look forward to such a life with any hope?’

‘What’s the point?’ Amy exclaimed in frustration, standing up and stepping away from him. ‘How can I pretend that I’m looking forward to such a life with any hope?’

He stood in mute misery, inwardly cursing himself and his fate.

He stood in silent misery, secretly blaming himself and his luck.

‘I have said I will come,’ she continued, her voice shaken with nervous tension. ‘Ask me or not, as you please, when you are ready to go there. I can’t talk about it.’

‘I’ve said I’ll come,’ she continued, her voice trembling with nervous tension. ‘Ask me or not, whenever you’re ready to go there. I can’t discuss it.’

‘I shall not ask you,’ he replied. ‘I will have no woman slave dragging out a weary life with me. Either you are my willing wife, or you are nothing to me.’

‘I won’t ask you,’ he replied. ‘I don’t want any woman as a slave dragging out a tiring life with me. Either you’re my willing wife, or you’re nothing to me.’

‘I am married to you, and that can’t be undone. I repeat that I shan’t refuse to obey you. I shall say no more.’

‘I am married to you, and that can't be changed. I want to make it clear that I won’t refuse to obey you. I won't say anything else.’

She moved to a distance, and there seated herself, half turned from him.

She moved away and sat down, partly turned away from him.

‘I shall never ask you to come,’ said Reardon, breaking a short silence. ‘If our married life is ever to begin again it must be of your seeking. Come to me of your own will, and I shall never reject you. But I will die in utter loneliness rather than ask you again.’

‘I will never ask you to come,’ Reardon said, breaking a brief silence. ‘If our married life is ever going to start over, it has to be your choice. Come to me on your own, and I will never turn you away. But I would rather live in complete loneliness than ask you again.’

He lingered a few moments, watching her; she did not move. Then he took his hat, went in silence from the room, and left the house.

He stayed for a moment, watching her; she didn’t move. Then he grabbed his hat, left the room quietly, and exited the house.

It rained harder than before. As no trains were running at this hour, he walked in the direction where he would be likely to meet with an omnibus. But it was a long time before one passed which was any use to him. When he reached home he was in cheerless plight enough; to make things pleasanter, one of his boots had let in water abundantly.

It rained harder than before. Since no trains were running at this hour, he walked toward where he might catch a bus. But it took a long time for one to come that would help him. By the time he got home, he was in pretty bad shape; to make matters worse, one of his boots had soaked up a lot of water.

‘The first sore throat of the season, no doubt,’ he muttered to himself.

‘The first sore throat of the season, no doubt,’ he whispered to himself.

Nor was he disappointed. By Tuesday the cold had firm grip of him. A day or two of influenza or sore throat always made him so weak that with difficulty he supported the least physical exertion; but at present he must go to his work at the hospital. Why stay at home? To what purpose spare himself? It was not as if life had any promise for him. He was a machine for earning so much money a week, and would at least give faithful work for his wages until the day of final breakdown.

Nor was he disappointed. By Tuesday, the cold had a firm grip on him. A day or two of the flu or a sore throat always made him so weak that he struggled with the slightest physical effort; but right now, he had to go to his job at the hospital. Why stay at home? What was the point of avoiding it? It wasn’t like life held any promise for him. He was just a machine earning a set amount of money each week and would at least put in diligent work for his pay until the day he finally fell apart.

But, midway in the week, Carter discovered how ill his clerk was.

But, halfway through the week, Carter found out how sick his clerk was.

‘You ought to be in bed, my dear fellow, with gruel and mustard plasters and all the rest of it. Go home and take care of yourself—I insist upon it.’

‘You really should be in bed, my friend, with some gruel and mustard plasters and everything else you need. Go home and look after yourself—I insist on it.’

Before leaving the office, Reardon wrote a few lines to Biffen, whom he had visited on the Monday. ‘Come and see me if you can. I am down with a bad cold, and have to keep in for the rest of the week. All the same, I feel far more cheerful. Bring a new chapter of your exhilarating romance.’

Before leaving the office, Reardon wrote a quick note to Biffen, whom he had seen on Monday. “Come and visit if you can. I’ve caught a bad cold and need to stay in for the rest of the week. Still, I feel much more cheerful. Bring a new chapter of your exciting romance.”





CHAPTER XXVI. MARRIED WOMAN’S PROPERTY

On her return from church that Sunday Mrs Edmund Yule was anxious to learn the result of the meeting between Amy and her husband. She hoped fervently that Amy’s anomalous position would come to an end now that Reardon had the offer of something better than a mere clerkship. John Yule never ceased to grumble at his sister’s permanence in the house, especially since he had learnt that the money sent by Reardon each month was not made use of; why it should not be applied for household expenses passed his understanding.

On her way back from church that Sunday, Mrs. Edmund Yule was eager to find out what happened in the meeting between Amy and her husband. She was really hoping that Amy's unusual situation would improve now that Reardon had the option of something better than just a clerk job. John Yule constantly complained about his sister living in the house for so long, especially since he found out that the money Reardon sent every month wasn’t being used. He couldn’t understand why it wasn’t being spent on household expenses.

‘It seems to me,’ he remarked several times, ‘that the fellow only does his bare duty in sending it. What is it to anyone else whether he lives on twelve shillings a week or twelve pence? It is his business to support his wife; if he can’t do that, to contribute as much to her support as possible. Amy’s scruples are all very fine, if she could afford them; it’s very nice to pay for your delicacies of feeling out of other people’s pockets.’

‘It seems to me,’ he said multiple times, ‘that the guy is just doing the bare minimum by sending it. What does it matter to anyone else whether he lives on twelve shillings a week or twelve pence? It’s his responsibility to support his wife; if he can’t do that, he should contribute as much as he can to her support. Amy’s concerns are all well and good if she can afford them; it’s really nice to indulge in your feelings at the expense of others.’

‘There’ll have to be a formal separation,’ was the startling announcement with which Amy answered her mother’s inquiry as to what had passed.

‘There’s going to have to be a formal separation,’ was the shocking response with which Amy replied to her mother’s question about what had happened.

‘A separation? But, my dear—!’

"A breakup? But, my dear—!"

Mrs Yule could not express her disappointment and dismay.

Mrs. Yule couldn’t put into words her disappointment and dismay.

‘We couldn’t live together; it’s no use trying.’

‘We can’t live together; it’s pointless to try.’

‘But at your age, Amy! How can you think of anything so shocking? And then, you know it will be impossible for him to make you a sufficient allowance.’

‘But at your age, Amy! How can you even consider something so shocking? And you know it will be impossible for him to give you a decent allowance.’

‘I shall have to live as well as I can on the seventy-five pounds a year. If you can’t afford to let me stay with you for that, I must go into cheap lodgings in the country, like poor Mrs Butcher did.’

‘I’ll have to manage the best I can on seventy-five pounds a year. If you can't let me stay with you for that amount, I’ll have to find cheap accommodations in the country, just like poor Mrs. Butcher did.’

This was wild talking for Amy. The interview had upset her, and for the rest of the day she kept apart in her own room. On the morrow Mrs Yule succeeded in eliciting a clear account of the conversation which had ended so hopelessly.

This was wild talk for Amy. The interview had upset her, and for the rest of the day she stayed in her own room. The next day, Mrs. Yule managed to get a clear account of the conversation that had ended so hopelessly.

‘I would rather spend the rest of my days in the workhouse than beg him to take me back,’ was Amy’s final comment, uttered with the earnestness which her mother understood but too well.

‘I would rather spend the rest of my days in the workhouse than beg him to take me back,’ was Amy’s final comment, said with the seriousness that her mother understood all too well.

‘But you are willing to go back, dear?’

‘But you're willing to go back, right?’

‘I told him so.’

"I told you so."

‘Then you must leave this to me. The Carters will let us know how things go on, and when it seems to be time I must see Edwin myself.’

‘Then you need to leave this to me. The Carters will keep us updated on what's happening, and when it feels like the right time, I have to see Edwin myself.’

‘I can’t allow that. Anything you could say on your own account would be useless, and there is nothing to say from me.’

‘I can’t let that happen. Anything you might say on your own would be pointless, and I have nothing to add.’

Mrs Yule kept her own counsel. She had a full month before her during which to consider the situation, but it was clear to her that these young people must be brought together again. Her estimate of Reardon’s mental condition had undergone a sudden change from the moment when she heard that a respectable post was within his reach; she decided that he was ‘strange,’ but then all men of literary talent had marked singularities, and doubtless she had been too hasty in interpreting the peculiar features natural to a character such as his.

Mrs. Yule kept her thoughts to herself. She had a whole month ahead of her to consider the situation, but it was clear to her that these young people needed to be brought back together. Her view of Reardon’s mental state changed suddenly the moment she heard that a respectable job was within his reach; she decided that he was ‘odd,’ but then all men with literary talent had their quirks, and she realized she may have been too quick to judge the unique traits that came with a personality like his.

A few days later arrived the news of their relative’s death at Wattleborough.

A few days later, they received the news about their relative’s death in Wattleborough.

This threw Mrs Yule into a commotion. At first she decided to accompany her son and be present at the funeral; after changing her mind twenty times, she determined not to go. John must send or bring back the news as soon as possible. That it would be of a nature sensibly to affect her own position, if not that of her children, she had little doubt; her husband had been the favourite brother of the deceased, and on that account there was no saying how handsome a legacy she might receive. She dreamt of houses in South Kensington, of social ambitions gratified even thus late.

This threw Mrs. Yule into a frenzy. At first, she decided to go with her son to the funeral, but after changing her mind twenty times, she decided not to attend. John needed to send or bring back news as soon as possible. She had little doubt that it would significantly impact her own situation, if not her children’s, since her husband had been the favorite brother of the deceased, and because of that, who knows how generous a legacy she might receive. She envisioned houses in South Kensington and social aspirations fulfilled even at this late stage.

On the morning after the funeral came a postcard announcing John’s return by a certain train, but no scrap of news was added.

On the morning after the funeral, a postcard arrived saying John would be back on a certain train, but there was no additional news included.

‘Just like that irritating boy! We must go to the station to meet him. You’ll come, won’t you, Amy?’

‘Just like that annoying boy! We need to go to the station to meet him. You’ll come, right, Amy?’

Amy readily consented, for she too had hopes, though circumstances blurred them. Mother and daughter were walking about the platform half an hour before the train was due; their agitation would have been manifest to anyone observing them. When at length the train rolled in and John was discovered, they pressed eagerly upon him.

Amy quickly agreed because she also had hopes, even though the situation was unclear. Mother and daughter were walking around the platform half an hour before the train was scheduled to arrive; anyone watching them would have seen their anxiety. When the train finally arrived and John was spotted, they rushed toward him eagerly.

‘Don’t you excite yourself,’ he said gruffly to his mother. ‘There’s no reason whatever.’

“Don’t get yourself worked up,” he said gruffly to his mom. “There’s no reason to.”

Mrs Yule glanced in dismay at Amy. They followed John to a cab, and took places with him.

Mrs. Yule looked at Amy in dismay. They followed John to a taxi and took seats with him.

‘Now don’t be provoking, Jack. Just tell us at once.’

‘Now don’t be annoying, Jack. Just tell us right away.’

‘By all means. You haven’t a penny.’

‘Of course. You don’t have a dime.’

‘I haven’t? You are joking, ridiculous boy!’

‘I haven’t? You’re kidding, silly boy!’

‘Never felt less disposed to, I assure you.’

'I've never felt less inclined, I promise you.'

After staring out of the window for a minute or two, he at length informed Amy of the extent to which she profited by her uncle’s decease, then made known what was bequeathed to himself. His temper grew worse every moment, and he replied savagely to each successive question concerning the other items of the will.

After looking out the window for a minute or two, he finally told Amy how much she inherited from her uncle's death and then shared what he was given. His mood kept getting worse, and he snapped at every follow-up question about the other details of the will.

‘What have you to grumble about?’ asked Amy, whose face was exultant notwithstanding the drawbacks attaching to her good fortune. ‘If Uncle Alfred receives nothing at all, and mother has nothing, you ought to think yourself very lucky.’

‘What do you have to complain about?’ asked Amy, whose face was beaming despite the downsides of her good luck. ‘If Uncle Alfred gets nothing, and Mom has nothing, you should consider yourself really fortunate.’

‘It’s very easy for you to say that, with your ten thousand.’

‘It's easy for you to say that, with your ten thousand.’

‘But is it her own?’ asked Mrs Yule. ‘Is it for her separate use?’

‘But is it really hers?’ asked Mrs. Yule. ‘Is it for her personal use?’

‘Of course it is. She gets the benefit of last year’s Married Woman’s Property Act. The will was executed in January this year, and I dare say the old curmudgeon destroyed a former one.

‘Of course it is. She benefits from last year’s Married Woman’s Property Act. The will was executed in January this year, and I’m sure the old curmudgeon destroyed an earlier one.

‘What a splendid Act of Parliament that is!’ cried Amy. ‘The only one worth anything that I ever heard of.’

‘What a fantastic Act of Parliament that is!’ exclaimed Amy. ‘The only one that’s actually worthwhile that I’ve ever heard of.’

‘But my dear—’ began her mother, in a tone of protest. However, she reserved her comment for a more fitting time and place, and merely said: ‘I wonder whether he had heard what has been going on?’

‘But my dear—’ started her mother, sounding slightly resistant. However, she decided to save her thoughts for a more appropriate moment and simply said: ‘I wonder if he knows what’s been going on?’

‘Do you think he would have altered his will if he had?’ asked Amy with a smile of security.

‘Do you think he would have changed his will if he had?’ asked Amy with a confident smile.

‘Why the deuce he should have left you so much in any case is more than I can understand,’ growled her brother. ‘What’s the use to me of a paltry thousand or two? It isn’t enough to invest; isn’t enough to do anything with.’

‘Why on earth he would have left you so much in the first place is beyond me,’ her brother muttered. ‘What good is a measly thousand or two to me? It’s not enough to invest; it’s not enough to do anything with.’

‘You may depend upon it your cousin Marian thinks her five thousand good for something,’ said Mrs Yule. ‘Who was at the funeral? Don’t be so surly, Jack; tell us all about it. I’m sure if anyone has cause to be ill-tempered it’s poor me.’

‘You can be sure that your cousin Marian thinks her five thousand is worth something,’ said Mrs. Yule. ‘Who was at the funeral? Don’t be so grumpy, Jack; tell us everything. I’m sure if anyone has a reason to be in a bad mood, it’s poor me.’

Thus they talked, amid the rattle of the cab-wheels. By when they reached home silence had fallen upon them, and each one was sufficiently occupied with private thoughts.

Thus they talked, amid the sound of the cab wheels. By the time they got home, silence had descended on them, and each was lost in their own thoughts.

Mrs Yule’s servants had a terrible time of it for the next few days. Too affectionate to turn her ill-temper against John and Amy, she relieved herself by severity to the domestic slaves, as an English matron is of course justified in doing. Her daughter’s position caused her even more concern than before; she constantly lamented to herself: ‘Oh, why didn’t he die before she was married!’—in which case Amy would never have dreamt of wedding a penniless author. Amy declined to discuss the new aspect of things until twenty-four hours after John’s return; then she said:

Mrs. Yule's servants had a tough time over the next few days. Too loving to take out her anger on John and Amy, she turned her frustration on the household staff, as any English matron can do. Her daughter’s situation worried her even more than before; she often thought to herself, “Oh, why didn’t he die before she got married!”—in which case Amy would never have considered marrying a broke writer. Amy refused to talk about the new situation until twenty-four hours after John returned; then she said:

‘I shall do nothing whatever until the money is paid to me. And what I shall do then I don’t know.’

‘I won’t do anything at all until I get paid. And what I’ll do after that, I have no idea.’

‘You are sure to hear from Edwin,’ opined Mrs Yule.

‘You’ll definitely hear from Edwin,’ said Mrs. Yule.

‘I think not. He isn’t the kind of man to behave in that way.’

‘I don't think so. He's not the type of guy to act like that.’

‘Then I suppose you are bound to take the first step?’

‘Then I guess you have to take the first step?’

‘That I shall never do.’

"I'll never do that."

She said so, but the sudden happiness of finding herself wealthy was not without its softening effect on Amy’s feelings. Generous impulses alternated with moods of discontent. The thought of her husband in his squalid lodgings tempted her to forget injuries and disillusions, and to play the part of a generous wife. It would be possible now for them to go abroad and spend a year or two in healthful travel; the result in Reardon’s case might be wonderful. He might recover all the energy of his imagination, and resume his literary career from the point he had reached at the time of his marriage.

She said that, but the sudden joy of discovering her wealth did soften Amy's feelings. Generous impulses went back and forth with moments of frustration. The idea of her husband living in such terrible conditions made her want to overlook past hurts and disappointments and act like a caring wife. Now they could travel abroad and spend a year or two enjoying healthy adventures; the outcome for Reardon might be incredible. He could regain all his creative energy and pick up his writing career from where he left off when they got married.

On the other hand, was it not more likely that he would lapse into a life of scholarly self-indulgence, such as he had often told her was his ideal? In that event, what tedium and regret lay before her! Ten thousand pounds sounded well, but what did it represent in reality? A poor four hundred a year, perhaps; mere decency of obscure existence, unless her husband could glorify it by winning fame. If he did nothing, she would be the wife of a man who had failed in literature. She would not be able to take a place in society. Life would be supported without struggle; nothing more to be hoped.

On the other hand, wasn’t it more likely that he would fall into a life of academic self-indulgence, like he often said was his dream? If that happened, what boredom and regret awaited her! Ten thousand pounds sounded impressive, but what did it really mean? Maybe just a meager four hundred a year; a simple, unremarkable existence, unless her husband could turn it into something great by achieving fame. If he did nothing, she would end up being the wife of a man who failed in literature. She wouldn’t be able to have a place in society. Life would go on without any real effort; nothing more to look forward to.

This view of the future possessed her strongly when, on the second day, she went to communicate her news to Mrs Carter. This amiable lady had now become what she always desired to be, Amy’s intimate friend; they saw each other very frequently, and conversed of most things with much frankness. It was between eleven and twelve in the morning when Amy paid her visit, and she found Mrs Carter on the point of going out.

This vision of the future filled her with determination when, on the second day, she went to share her news with Mrs. Carter. This friendly woman had finally become what she always wanted to be, Amy’s close friend; they met often and talked about almost everything openly. It was between eleven and twelve in the morning when Amy arrived, and she found Mrs. Carter getting ready to leave.

‘I was coming to see you,’ cried Edith. ‘Why haven’t you let me know of what has happened?’

‘I was coming to see you,’ cried Edith. ‘Why didn’t you tell me what happened?’

‘You have heard, I suppose?’

"Have you heard, I guess?"

‘Albert heard from your brother.’

"Albert heard from your bro."

‘I supposed he would. And I haven’t felt in the mood for talking about it, even with you.’

‘I thought he would. And I haven’t really wanted to talk about it, not even with you.’

They went into Mrs Carter’s boudoir, a tiny room full of such pretty things as can be purchased nowadays by anyone who has a few shillings to spare, and tolerable taste either of their own or at second-hand. Had she been left to her instincts, Edith would have surrounded herself with objects representing a much earlier stage of artistic development; but she was quick to imitate what fashion declared becoming. Her husband regarded her as a remarkable authority in all matters of personal or domestic ornamentation.

They stepped into Mrs. Carter’s bedroom, a small space filled with all the lovely items that anyone with a bit of cash to spare and decent taste—whether their own or second-hand—can buy today. If left to her own devices, Edith would have filled the room with pieces reflecting a much earlier level of artistic style; however, she was quick to copy what was considered fashionable. Her husband saw her as an impressive expert in everything related to personal or home decor.

‘And what are you going to do?’ she inquired, examining Amy from head to foot, as if she thought that the inheritance of so substantial a sum must have produced visible changes in her friend.

‘And what are you going to do?’ she asked, looking Amy up and down, as if she believed that inheriting such a large sum must have made noticeable changes in her friend.

‘I am going to do nothing.’

‘I’m not going to do anything.’

‘But surely you’re not in low spirits?’

‘But surely you’re not feeling down?’

‘What have I to rejoice about?’

‘What do I have to be happy about?’

They talked for a while before Amy brought herself to utter what she was thinking.

They chatted for a bit before Amy finally found the courage to say what was on her mind.

‘Isn’t it a most ridiculous thing that married people who both wish to separate can’t do so and be quite free again?’

‘Isn’t it just ridiculous that married people who both want to separate can’t do so and be completely free again?’

‘I suppose it would lead to all sorts of troubles—don’t you think?’

‘I guess it would cause all kinds of problems—don’t you think?’

‘So people say about every new step in civilisation. What would have been thought twenty years ago of a proposal to make all married women independent of their husbands in money matters? All sorts of absurd dangers were foreseen, no doubt. And it’s the same now about divorce. In America people can get divorced if they don’t suit each other—at all events in some of the States—and does any harm come of it? Just the opposite I should think.’

‘So people say about every new step in civilization. What would have been thought twenty years ago of a proposal to make all married women financially independent from their husbands? All kinds of ridiculous dangers were predicted, no doubt. And it’s the same now with divorce. In America, people can get divorced if they don’t get along—at least in some States—and does any harm come from it? Just the opposite, I would think.’

Edith mused. Such speculations were daring, but she had grown accustomed to think of Amy as an ‘advanced’ woman, and liked to imitate her in this respect.

Edith thought. Those ideas were bold, but she had become used to considering Amy as an 'advanced' woman and enjoyed trying to be like her in that way.

‘It does seem reasonable,’ she murmured.

"It does seem reasonable," she said quietly.

‘The law ought to encourage such separations, instead of forbidding them,’ Amy pursued. ‘If a husband and wife find that they have made a mistake, what useless cruelty it is to condemn them to suffer the consequences for the whole of their lives!’

‘The law should support these separations instead of banning them,’ Amy continued. ‘If a husband and wife realize they've made a mistake, how pointless and cruel is it to force them to endure the consequences for the rest of their lives!’

‘I suppose it’s to make people careful,’ said Edith, with a laugh.

‘I guess it's to keep people on their toes,’ said Edith, laughing.

‘If so, we know that it has always failed, and always will fail; so the sooner such a profitless law is altered the better. Isn’t there some society for getting that kind of reform? I would subscribe fifty pounds a year to help it. Wouldn’t you?’

‘If so, we know that it has always failed, and always will fail; so the sooner that useless law is changed, the better. Isn’t there some organization dedicated to that kind of reform? I would donate fifty pounds a year to support it. Wouldn’t you?’

‘Yes, if I had it to spare,’ replied the other.

‘Yes, if I had it to give away,’ replied the other.

Then they both laughed, but Edith the more naturally.

Then they both laughed, but Edith's laughter felt more genuine.

‘Not on my own account, you know,’ she added.

'Not for my own sake, you know,' she added.

‘It’s because women who are happily married can’t and won’t understand the position of those who are not that there’s so much difficulty in reforming marriage laws.’

‘It’s because women who are happily married can’t and won’t understand the situation of those who aren’t that there’s so much difficulty in changing marriage laws.’

‘But I understand you, Amy, and I grieve about you. What you are to do I can’t think.’

‘But I get you, Amy, and I feel for you. I can’t figure out what you’re supposed to do.’

‘Oh, it’s easy to see what I shall do. Of course I have no choice really. And I ought to have a choice; that’s the hardship and the wrong of it. Perhaps if I had, I should find a sort of pleasure in sacrificing myself.’

‘Oh, it’s easy to see what I’m going to do. Of course, I don’t really have a choice. And I should have a choice; that’s what makes it difficult and unfair. Maybe if I did have a choice, I would find some kind of satisfaction in sacrificing myself.’

There were some new novels on the table; Amy took up a volume presently, and glanced over a page or two.

There were some new novels on the table; Amy picked up a book and skimmed a page or two.

‘I don’t know how you can go on reading that sort of stuff, book after book,’ she exclaimed.

‘I don’t know how you can keep reading that kind of stuff, book after book,’ she exclaimed.

‘Oh, but people say this last novel of Markland’s is one of his best.’

‘Oh, but people say this last novel by Markland is one of his best.’

‘Best or worst, novels are all the same. Nothing but love, love, love; what silly nonsense it is! Why don’t people write about the really important things of life? Some of the French novelists do; several of Balzac’s, for instance. I have just been reading his “Cousin Pons,” a terrible book, but I enjoyed it ever so much because it was nothing like a love story. What rubbish is printed about love!’

‘Best or worst, novels are all the same. Nothing but love, love, love; what silly nonsense it is! Why don’t people write about the truly important things in life? Some French novelists do; several of Balzac’s, for example. I just read his “Cousin Pons,” a terrible book, but I enjoyed it a lot because it wasn’t anything like a love story. What rubbish gets published about love!’

‘I get rather tired of it sometimes,’ admitted Edith with amusement.

"I sometimes get pretty tired of it," Edith admitted with a smile.

‘I should hope you do, indeed. What downright lies are accepted as indisputable! That about love being a woman’s whole life; who believes it really? Love is the most insignificant thing in most women’s lives. It occupies a few months, possibly a year or two, and even then I doubt if it is often the first consideration.’

‘I hope you do, truly. What outright lies are taken as facts! That nonsense about love being a woman’s entire life; who actually believes that? Love is the least important part of most women’s lives. It takes up a few months, maybe a year or two, and even then, I question if it’s usually the top priority.’

Edith held her head aside, and pondered smilingly.

Edith tilted her head to the side and smiled thoughtfully.

‘I’m sure there’s a great opportunity for some clever novelist who will never write about love at all.’

‘I’m sure there’s a great opportunity for some smart novelist who will never write about love at all.’

‘But then it does come into life.’

‘But then it does come to life.’

‘Yes, for a month or two, as I say. Think of the biographies of men and women; how many pages are devoted to their love affairs? Compare those books with novels which profess to be biographies, and you see how false such pictures are. Think of the very words “novel,” “romance”—what do they mean but exaggeration of one bit of life?’

‘Yes, for a month or two, as I mentioned. Consider the biographies of men and women; how many pages are dedicated to their love lives? If you compare those books with novels that claim to be biographies, you'll realize how misleading such portrayals are. Think about the very words “novel” and “romance”—what do they really mean other than an exaggeration of a part of life?’

‘That may be true. But why do people find the subject so interesting?’

‘That might be true. But why do people find the topic so interesting?’

‘Because there is so little love in real life. That’s the truth of it. Why do poor people care only for stories about the rich? The same principle.’

‘Because there’s so little love in real life. That’s the truth. Why do poor people only care about stories about the rich? The same idea.’

‘How clever you are, Amy!’

“You're so clever, Amy!”

‘Am I? It’s very nice to be told so. Perhaps I have some cleverness of a kind; but what use is it to me? My life is being wasted. I ought to have a place in the society of clever people. I was never meant to live quietly in the background. Oh, if I hadn’t been in such a hurry, and so inexperienced!’

‘Am I? It’s nice to hear that. Maybe I have some kind of cleverness, but what good is it to me? My life is going to waste. I should have a spot among smart people. I was never meant to stay quietly in the background. Oh, if only I hadn’t been so hasty and so inexperienced!’

‘Oh, I wanted to ask you,’ said Edith, soon after this. ‘Do you wish Albert to say anything about you—at the hospital?’

‘Oh, I wanted to ask you,’ said Edith, shortly after this. ‘Do you want Albert to say anything about you—at the hospital?’

‘There’s no reason why he shouldn’t.’

"There's no reason he can't."

‘You won’t even write to say—?’

‘You won’t even write to say—?’

‘I shall do nothing.’

"I won't do anything."

Since the parting from her husband, there had proceeded in Amy a noticeable maturing of intellect. Probably the one thing was a consequence of the other. During that last year in the flat her mind was held captive by material cares, and this arrest of her natural development doubtless had much to do with the appearance of acerbity in a character which had displayed so much sweetness, so much womanly grace. Moreover, it was arrest at a critical point. When she fell in love with Edwin Reardon her mind had still to undergo the culture of circumstances; though a woman in years she had seen nothing of life but a few phases of artificial society, and her education had not progressed beyond the final schoolgirl stage. Submitting herself to Reardon’s influence, she passed through what was a highly useful training of the intellect; but with the result that she became clearly conscious of the divergence between herself and her husband. In endeavouring to imbue her with his own literary tastes, Reardon instructed Amy as to the natural tendencies of her mind, which till then she had not clearly understood. When she ceased to read with the eyes of passion, most of the things which were Reardon’s supreme interests lost their value for her. A sound intelligence enabled her to think and feel in many directions, but the special line of her growth lay apart from that in which the novelist and classical scholar had directed her.

Since the separation from her husband, Amy had noticeably matured intellectually. This change was likely a result of the other. During that last year in the apartment, her mind was trapped by material worries, and this halt in her natural development probably contributed to the bitterness in a character that had once shown so much sweetness and feminine grace. Additionally, it was a pause at a critical time. When she fell in love with Edwin Reardon, her mind still needed the shaping that comes from experience; although she was an adult, she had only been exposed to a few aspects of artificial society, and her education hadn't progressed beyond the final schoolgirl level. By embracing Reardon's influence, she underwent what was a very beneficial intellectual training; however, this made her more aware of the differences between herself and her husband. In trying to instill his literary tastes in her, Reardon helped Amy recognize her mind’s natural tendencies, which she had not fully grasped until then. When she stopped reading with passionate eyes, many of the things that were Reardon’s greatest interests lost their appeal to her. Her sound intellect allowed her to think and feel in various ways, but the path of her growth diverged from the one that the novelist and classical scholar had directed her down.

When she found herself alone and independent, her mind acted like a spring when pressure is removed. After a few weeks of desoeuvrement she obeyed the impulse to occupy herself with a kind of reading alien to Reardon’s sympathies. The solid periodicals attracted her, and especially those articles which dealt with themes of social science. Anything that savoured of newness and boldness in philosophic thought had a charm for her palate. She read a good deal of that kind of literature which may be defined as specialism popularised; writing which addresses itself to educated, but not strictly studious, persons, and which forms the reservoir of conversation for society above the sphere of turf and west-endism. Thus, for instance, though she could not undertake the volumes of Herbert Spencer, she was intelligently acquainted with the tenor of their contents; and though she had never opened one of Darwin’s books, her knowledge of his main theories and illustrations was respectable. She was becoming a typical woman of the new time, the woman who has developed concurrently with journalistic enterprise.

When she found herself alone and independent, her mind reacted like a spring when the pressure was released. After a few weeks of doing nothing, she felt the urge to engage in a type of reading that was foreign to Reardon’s interests. She was drawn to solid periodicals, especially the articles that focused on social science themes. Anything that hinted at novelty and boldness in philosophical thought appealed to her. She read a lot of literature that could be described as popularized specialization—writing aimed at educated but not strictly academic people, which serves as the source of conversation for society beyond just casual topics and high society. For example, even though she couldn’t dive into Herbert Spencer's books, she was well-informed about their main ideas; and although she had never opened one of Darwin’s works, her understanding of his key theories and examples was respectable. She was becoming a typical woman of the new era, the woman who has evolved alongside journalistic ventures.

Not many days after that conversation with Edith Carter, she had occasion to visit Mudie’s, for the new number of some periodical which contained an appetising title. As it was a sunny and warm day she walked to New Oxford Street from the nearest Metropolitan station. Whilst waiting at the library counter, she heard a familiar voice in her proximity; it was that of Jasper Milvain, who stood talking with a middle-aged lady. As Amy turned to look at him his eye met hers; clearly he had been aware of her. The review she desired was handed to her; she moved aside, and turned over the pages. Then Milvain walked up.

Not long after her conversation with Edith Carter, she decided to visit Mudie’s for the latest issue of a periodical with an intriguing title. Since it was a sunny and warm day, she walked to New Oxford Street from the nearest Metropolitan station. While waiting at the library counter, she heard a familiar voice nearby; it was Jasper Milvain, who was talking with a middle-aged lady. When Amy turned to look at him, their eyes met; he had clearly noticed her. The review she wanted was handed to her, and she stepped aside to flip through the pages. Then Milvain approached her.

He was armed cap-a-pie in the fashions of suave society; no Bohemianism of garb or person, for Jasper knew he could not afford that kind of economy. On her part, Amy was much better dressed than usual, a costume suited to her position of bereaved heiress.

He was dressed from head to toe in the latest styles of refined society; no hint of bohemian flair in his outfit or appearance, because Jasper understood he couldn't afford that kind of casualness. On her side, Amy was dressed much more elegantly than usual, in an outfit fitting for her status as a grieving heiress.

‘What a time since we met!’ said Jasper, taking her delicately gloved hand and looking into her face with his most effective smile.

‘It’s been such a long time since we last met!’ said Jasper, taking her elegantly gloved hand and gazing into her face with his most charming smile.

‘And why?’ asked Amy.

"What's the reason?" asked Amy.

‘Indeed, I hardly know. I hope Mrs Yule is well?’

‘Honestly, I’m not sure. I hope Mrs. Yule is doing well?’

‘Quite, thank you.’

‘Sure, thanks.’

It seemed as if he would draw back to let her pass, and so make an end of the colloquy. But Amy, though she moved forward, added a remark:

It looked like he was going to step aside to let her go by, effectively ending their conversation. But Amy, although she stepped forward, added a comment:

‘I don’t see your name in any of this month’s magazines.’

‘I don’t see your name in any of this month’s magazines.’

‘I have nothing signed this month. A short review in The Current, that’s all.’

‘I haven’t signed anything this month. Just a short review in The Current, that’s it.’

‘But I suppose you write as much as ever?’

‘But I guess you still write a lot?’

‘Yes; but chiefly in weekly papers just now. You don’t see the Will-o’-the-Wisp?’

‘Yes; but mostly in weekly publications right now. You don’t see the Will-o’-the-Wisp?’

‘Oh yes. And I think I can generally recognise your hand.’

‘Oh yes. I believe I can usually recognize your handwriting.’

They issued from the library.

They came out of the library.

‘Which way are you going?’ Jasper inquired, with something more of the old freedom.

‘Which way are you headed?’ Jasper asked, with a bit more of his old confidence.

‘I walked from Gower Street station, and I think, as it’s so fine, I shall walk back again.’

‘I walked from Gower Street station, and I think, since the weather is so nice, I’ll walk back again.’

He accompanied her. They turned up Museum Street, and Amy, after a short silence, made inquiry concerning his sisters.

He walked with her. They headed up Museum Street, and Amy, after a brief pause, asked about his sisters.

‘I am sorry I saw them only once, but no doubt you thought it better to let the acquaintance end there.’

‘I’m sorry I only saw them once, but I’m sure you thought it was better to leave it at that.’

‘I really didn’t think of it in that way at all,’ Jasper replied.

‘I really didn’t think about it like that at all,’ Jasper replied.

‘We naturally understood it so, when you even ceased to call, yourself.’

‘We naturally understood it that way when you even stopped calling yourself.’

‘But don’t you feel that there would have been a good deal of awkwardness in my coming to Mrs Yule’s?’

‘But don’t you think it would have been pretty awkward for me to go to Mrs. Yule’s?’

‘Seeing that you looked at things from my husband’s point of view?’

‘So, you looked at things from my husband's perspective?’

‘Oh, that’s a mistake! I have only seen your husband once since he went to Islington.’

‘Oh, that’s a misunderstanding! I’ve only seen your husband once since he went to Islington.’

Amy gave him a look of surprise.

Amy looked at him in surprise.

‘You are not on friendly terms with him?’

'You aren't on good terms with him?'

‘Well, we have drifted apart. For some reason he seemed to think that my companionship was not very profitable. So it was better, on the whole, that I should see neither you nor him.’

‘Well, we’ve grown apart. For some reason, he thought my company wasn’t very valuable. So overall, it was better that I didn’t see either you or him.’

Amy was wondering whether he had heard of her legacy. He might have been informed by a Wattleborough correspondent, even if no one in London had told him.

Amy was wondering if he had heard about her legacy. He might have been told by someone in Wattleborough, even if no one in London had mentioned it.

‘Do your sisters keep up their friendship with my cousin Marian?’ she asked, quitting the previous difficult topic.

“Do your sisters still keep in touch with my cousin Marian?” she asked, moving on from the previous tough subject.

‘Oh yes!’ He smiled. ‘They see a great deal of each other.’

‘Oh yes!’ He smiled. ‘They spend a lot of time together.’

‘Then of course you have heard of my uncle’s death?’

‘So, you’ve heard about my uncle’s death, right?’

‘Yes. I hope all your difficulties are now at an end.’

‘Yes. I hope all your challenges are now over.’

Amy delayed a moment, then said: ‘I hope so,’ without any emphasis.

Amy paused for a moment, then said, ‘I hope so,’ without any emphasis.

‘Do you think of spending this winter abroad?’

‘Are you thinking about spending this winter overseas?’

It was the nearest he could come to a question concerning the future of Amy and her husband.

It was the closest he could get to asking about the future of Amy and her husband.

‘Everything is still quite uncertain. But tell me something about our old acquaintances. How does Mr Biffen get on?’

‘Everything is still pretty uncertain. But tell me something about our old friends. How’s Mr. Biffen doing?’

‘I scarcely ever see him, but I think he pegs away at an interminable novel, which no one will publish when it’s done. Whelpdale I meet occasionally.’

‘I hardly ever see him, but I think he’s working on an endless novel that no one will publish when it’s finished. I run into Whelpdale every now and then.’

He talked of the latter’s projects and achievements in a lively strain.

He spoke enthusiastically about their projects and accomplishments.

‘Your own prospects continue to brighten, no doubt,’ said Amy.

“Your future looks promising, for sure,” said Amy.

‘I really think they do. Things go fairly well. And I have lately received a promise of very valuable help.’

‘I really believe they do. Things are going pretty well. And I've recently gotten a promise of some very valuable help.’

‘From whom?’

"From who?"

‘A relative of yours.’

"One of your relatives."

Amy turned to interrogate him with a look.

Amy turned to question him with a look.

‘A relative? You mean—?’

“A relative? You’re saying—?”

‘Yes; Marian.’

"Yes, Marian."

They were passing Bedford Square. Amy glanced at the trees, now almost bare of foliage; then her eyes met Jasper’s, and she smiled significantly.

They were passing Bedford Square. Amy looked at the trees, now nearly bare of leaves; then her eyes met Jasper’s, and she smiled warmly.

‘I should have thought your aim would have been far more ambitious,’ she said, with distinct utterance.

“I would have thought your goal would be much more ambitious,” she said clearly.

‘Marian and I have been engaged for some time—practically.’

‘Marian and I have been engaged for a while—basically.’

‘Indeed? I remember now how you once spoke of her. And you will be married soon?’

‘Really? I remember now how you talked about her. And you’re getting married soon?’

‘Probably before the end of the year. I see that you are criticising my motives. I am quite prepared for that in everyone who knows me and the circumstances. But you must remember that I couldn’t foresee anything of this kind. It enables us to marry sooner, that’s all.’

‘Probably before the end of the year. I see that you're questioning my motives. I'm used to that from anyone who knows me and the situation. But you have to remember that I couldn’t have predicted anything like this. It just means we can get married sooner, that’s all.’

‘I am sure your motives are unassailable,’ replied Amy, still with a smile. ‘I imagined that you wouldn’t marry for years, and then some distinguished person. This throws new light upon your character.’

“I’m sure your motives are solid,” Amy replied, still smiling. “I thought you wouldn’t get married for years, and then only to someone noteworthy. This really changes how I see your character.”

‘You thought me so desperately scheming and cold-blooded?’

‘You really thought I was that desperate and heartless?’

‘Oh dear no! But—well, to be sure, I can’t say that I know Marian. I haven’t seen her for years and years. She may be admirably suited to you.’

‘Oh no! But—well, I can’t really say that I know Marian. I haven't seen her in ages. She might be perfectly suited to you.’

‘Depend upon it, I think so.’

‘Count on it, I believe so.’

‘She’s likely to shine in society? She is a brilliant girl, full of tact and insight?’

'Is she really going to stand out in society? She's a smart girl, full of diplomacy and understanding?'

‘Scarcely all that, perhaps.’

“Maybe not even that.”

He looked dubiously at his companion.

He looked skeptically at his friend.

‘Then you have abandoned your old ambitions?’ Amy pursued.

‘So you’ve given up on your old ambitions?’ Amy pressed.

‘Not a bit of it. I am on the way to achieve them.’

'Not at all. I'm on my way to achieving them.'

‘And Marian is the ideal wife to assist you?’

‘And Marian is the perfect partner to help you?’

‘From one point of view, yes. Pray, why all this ironic questioning?’

‘From one perspective, yes. Why all this sarcastic questioning?’

‘Not ironic at all.’

"Definitely not ironic."

‘It sounded very much like it, and I know from of old that you have a tendency that way.’

‘It really sounded that way, and I know from experience that you have a tendency like that.’

‘The news surprised me a little, I confess. But I see that I am in danger of offending you.’

‘The news caught me off guard, I admit. But I realize that I might upset you.’

‘Let us wait another five years, and then I will ask your opinion as to the success of my marriage. I don’t take a step of this kind without maturely considering it. Have I made many blunders as yet?’

‘Let’s wait another five years, and then I’ll ask for your thoughts on how my marriage is going. I don’t make decisions like this without careful thought. Have I made a lot of mistakes so far?’

‘As yet, not that I know of.’

‘Not that I know of, not yet.’

‘Do I impress you as one likely to commit follies?’

‘Do I come across as someone who is likely to make foolish mistakes?’

‘I had rather wait a little before answering that.’

‘I’d rather wait a bit before answering that.’

‘That is to say, you prefer to prophesy after the event. Very well, we shall see.’

‘In other words, you like to predict things after they happen. Alright, we’ll see.’

In the length of Gower Street they talked of several other things less personal. By degrees the tone of their conversation had become what it was used to be, now and then almost confidential.

On Gower Street, they chatted about various topics that were less personal. Gradually, the tone of their conversation returned to what it used to be, occasionally becoming almost confidential.

‘You are still at the same lodgings?’ asked Amy, as they drew near to the railway station.

‘Are you still at the same place?’ asked Amy, as they got closer to the railway station.

‘I moved yesterday, so that the girls and I could be under the same roof—until the next change.’

‘I moved yesterday so that the girls and I could be under the same roof—until the next change.’

‘You will let us know when that takes place?’

‘Will you let us know when that happens?’

He promised, and with exchange of smiles which were something like a challenge they took leave of each other.

He promised, and with smiles that felt a bit like a challenge, they said goodbye to each other.





CHAPTER XXVII. THE LONELY MAN

A touch of congestion in the right lung was a warning to Reardon that his half-year of insufficient food and general waste of strength would make the coming winter a hard time for him, worse probably than the last. Biffen, responding in person to the summons, found him in bed, waited upon by a gaunt, dry, sententious woman of sixty—not the landlady, but a lodger who was glad to earn one meal a day by any means that offered.

A slight congestion in his right lung was a warning to Reardon that the past six months of not eating enough and generally wasting his strength would make the upcoming winter tough for him, likely worse than the last one. Biffen, answering the call in person, found him in bed, attended to by a thin, dry, talkative woman in her sixties—not the landlady, but a tenant who was happy to earn one meal a day any way she could.

‘It wouldn’t be very nice to die here, would it?’ said the sufferer, with a laugh which was cut short by a cough. ‘One would like a comfortable room, at least. Why, I don’t know. I dreamt last night that I was in a ship that had struck something and was going down; and it wasn’t the thought of death that most disturbed me, but a horror of being plunged in the icy water. In fact, I have had just the same feeling on shipboard. I remember waking up midway between Corfu and Brindisi, on that shaky tub of a Greek boat; we were rolling a good deal, and I heard a sort of alarmed rush and shouting up on deck. It was so warm and comfortable in the berth, and I thought with intolerable horror of the possibility of sousing into the black depths.’

“It wouldn’t be great to die here, right?” said the sufferer, laughing until a cough interrupted. “At least I’d want a comfortable room. I don’t know why. Last night, I dreamed I was on a ship that hit something and was sinking; it wasn’t the idea of dying that bothered me the most, but the terror of being thrown into the freezing water. Honestly, I’ve felt that same way on a ship before. I remember waking up between Corfu and Brindisi on that wobbly Greek boat; we were swaying a lot, and I heard some panicked rushing and shouting up on deck. It was so warm and cozy in the bunk, and I felt an unbearable dread at the thought of plunging into the dark depths.”

‘Don’t talk, my boy,’ advised Biffen. ‘Let me read you the new chapter of “Mr Bailey.” It may induce a refreshing slumber.’

‘Don’t talk, my boy,’ Biffen advised. ‘Let me read you the new chapter of “Mr Bailey.” It might help you get some refreshing sleep.’

Reardon was away from his duties for a week; he returned to them with a feeling of extreme shakiness, an indisposition to exert himself, and a complete disregard of the course that events were taking. It was fortunate that he had kept aside that small store of money designed for emergencies; he was able to draw on it now to pay his doctor, and provide himself with better nourishment than usual. He purchased new boots, too, and some articles of warm clothing of which he stood in need—an alarming outlay.

Reardon had been away from work for a week; when he came back, he felt extremely shaky, lacked the motivation to push himself, and was totally indifferent to how things were unfolding. Luckily, he had saved a small amount of money for emergencies; he could use it now to pay his doctor and get himself better food than usual. He also bought new boots and some warm clothes he needed—quite a hefty expense.

A change had come over him; he was no longer rendered miserable by thoughts of Amy—seldom, indeed, turned his mind to her at all. His secretaryship at Croydon was a haven within view; the income of seventy-five pounds (the other half to go to his wife) would support him luxuriously, and for anything beyond that he seemed to care little. Next Sunday he was to go over to Croydon and see the institution.

A change had come over him; he was no longer made miserable by thoughts of Amy—he hardly ever thought about her at all. His job in Croydon was close at hand; the income of seventy-five pounds (with half going to his wife) would allow him to live comfortably, and he seemed to care little for anything beyond that. Next Sunday, he was set to go to Croydon and check out the institution.

One evening of calm weather he made his way to Clipstone Street and greeted his friend with more show of light-heartedness than he had been capable of for at least two years.

One calm evening, he headed to Clipstone Street and greeted his friend with more cheerfulness than he had felt in at least two years.

‘I have been as nearly as possible a happy man all to-day,’ he said, when his pipe was well lit. ‘Partly the sunshine, I suppose. There’s no saying if the mood will last, but if it does all is well with me. I regret nothing and wish for nothing.’

‘I’ve been as close to a happy guy as I can be today,’ he said, once his pipe was lit. ‘Maybe it’s the sunshine. I can’t say if this mood will stick, but if it does, I’m good. I don’t regret anything and I don’t wish for anything.’

‘A morbid state of mind,’ was Biffen’s opinion.

‘A morbid state of mind,’ was Biffen’s opinion.

‘No doubt of that, but I am content to be indebted to morbidness. One must have a rest from misery somehow. Another kind of man would have taken to drinking; that has tempted me now and then, I assure you. But I couldn’t afford it. Did you ever feel tempted to drink merely for the sake of forgetting trouble?’

‘No doubt about it, but I'm okay with being reliant on dark thoughts. Everyone needs a break from suffering somehow. Another type of person might have turned to alcohol; I've been tempted by that now and then, I promise you. But I just can’t afford it. Have you ever felt the urge to drink just to escape your problems?’

‘Often enough. I have done it. I have deliberately spent a certain proportion of the money that ought to have gone for food in the cheapest kind of strong liquor.’

‘Often enough. I've done it. I've intentionally spent a portion of the money that should have gone for food on the cheapest kind of strong liquor.’

‘Ha! that’s interesting. But it never got the force of a habit you had to break?’

‘Ha! That’s interesting. But did it ever become a habit that you had to break?’

‘No. Partly, I dare say, because I had the warning of poor Sykes before my eyes.’

‘No. I think it’s partly because I had poor Sykes’s warning in my mind.’

‘You never see that poor fellow?’

‘You never see that poor guy?’

‘Never. He must be dead, I think. He would die either in the hospital or the workhouse.’

‘Never. I think he must be dead. He would either die in the hospital or in the workhouse.’

‘Well,’ said Reardon, musing cheerfully, ‘I shall never become a drunkard; I haven’t that diathesis, to use your expression. Doesn’t it strike you that you and I are very respectable persons? We really have no vices. Put us on a social pedestal, and we should be shining lights of morality. I sometimes wonder at our inoffensiveness. Why don’t we run amuck against law and order? Why, at the least, don’t we become savage revolutionists, and harangue in Regent’s Park of a Sunday?’

‘Well,’ said Reardon, thinking happily, ‘I will never become an alcoholic; I don’t have that tendency, to use your term. Doesn’t it strike you that you and I are quite respectable people? We truly have no vices. If you put us on a social pedestal, we would be shining examples of morality. I occasionally ponder our lack of aggression. Why don’t we go wild against law and order? Why don’t we, at the very least, become fierce revolutionaries and give speeches in Regent’s Park on a Sunday?’

‘Because we are passive beings, and were meant to enjoy life very quietly. As we can’t enjoy, we just suffer quietly, that’s all. By-the-bye, I want to talk about a difficulty in one of the Fragments of Euripides. Did you ever go through the Fragments?’

‘Because we are passive beings, and we were meant to enjoy life peacefully. As we can’t enjoy, we just suffer quietly, that’s all. By the way, I want to discuss a challenge in one of the Fragments of Euripides. Have you ever read the Fragments?’

This made a diversion for half an hour. Then Reardon returned to his former line of thought.

This provided a break for half an hour. Then Reardon went back to his previous line of thinking.

‘As I was entering patients yesterday, there came up to the table a tall, good-looking, very quiet girl, poorly dressed, but as neat as could be. She gave me her name, then I asked “Occupation?” She said at once, “I’m unfortunate, sir.” I couldn’t help looking up at her in surprise; I had taken it for granted she was a dressmaker or something of the kind. And, do you know, I never felt so strong an impulse to shake hands, to show sympathy, and even respect, in some way. I should have liked to say, “Why, I am unfortunate, too!” such a good, patient face she had.’

‘As I was entering patients yesterday, a tall, attractive, very quiet girl approached the table. She was dressed poorly, but was as tidy as could be. She gave me her name, and then I asked, “What’s your occupation?” She immediately replied, “I’m unfortunate, sir.” I couldn’t help but look up at her in surprise; I had assumed she was a dressmaker or something similar. And, you know, I never felt such a strong urge to shake hands, to show sympathy, and even respect, in some way. I wanted to say, “Well, I’m unfortunate too!”—she had such a kind, patient face.’

‘I distrust such appearances,’ said Biffen in his quality of realist.

“I don’t trust those kinds of appearances,” said Biffen as a realist.

‘Well, so do I, as a rule. But in this case they were convincing. And there was no need whatever for her to make such a declaration; she might just as well have said anything else; it’s the merest form. I shall always hear her voice saying, “I’m unfortunate, sir.” She made me feel what a mistake it was for me to marry such a girl as Amy. I ought to have looked about for some simple, kind-hearted work-girl; that was the kind of wife indicated for me by circumstances. If I had earned a hundred a year she would have thought we were well-to-do. I should have been an authority to her on everything under the sun—and above it. No ambition would have unsettled her. We should have lived in a couple of poor rooms somewhere, and—we should have loved each other.’

‘Well, I usually do too. But in this case, they were convincing. There was no reason for her to make such a declaration; she could have said anything else; it’s just a formality. I will always remember her voice saying, “I’m unfortunate, sir.” She made me realize how big of a mistake it was to marry someone like Amy. I should have looked for a simple, kind-hearted working girl; that was the kind of wife I should have had based on my situation. If I had made a hundred a year, she would have thought we were doing well. I would have been an authority on everything for her—about life and beyond. No ambition would have shaken her. We would have lived in a couple of small rooms somewhere, and—we would have loved each other.’

‘What a shameless idealist you are!’ said Biffen, shaking his head. ‘Let me sketch the true issue of such a marriage. To begin with, the girl would have married you in firm persuasion that you were a “gentleman” in temporary difficulties, and that before long you would have plenty of money to dispose of. Disappointed in this hope, she would have grown sharp-tempered, querulous, selfish. All your endeavours to make her understand you would only have resulted in widening the impassable gulf. She would have misconstrued your every sentence, found food for suspicion in every harmless joke, tormented you with the vulgarest forms of jealousy. The effect upon your nature would have been degrading. In the end, you must have abandoned every effort to raise her to your own level, and either have sunk to hers or made a rupture. Who doesn’t know the story of such attempts? I myself ten years ago, was on the point of committing such a folly, but, Heaven be praised! an accident saved me.’

‘What a shameless idealist you are!’ Biffen said, shaking his head. ‘Let me outline the real issue of such a marriage. First of all, the girl would have married you believing that you were a “gentleman” facing temporary difficulties and that soon you would have plenty of money to spend. When that hope was dashed, she would have become irritable, complaining, and self-centered. All your attempts to help her understand would only have made the gap between you wider. She would have misinterpreted everything you said, found reasons to be suspicious about every harmless joke, and tormented you with the most petty forms of jealousy. The impact on your character would have been degrading. In the end, you would have had to give up all efforts to elevate her to your level and either sink down to hers or break away completely. Who doesn’t know the story of such attempts? I myself was almost about to make such a mistake ten years ago, but, thank goodness! an accident saved me.’

‘You never told me that story.’

‘You never shared that story with me.’

‘And don’t care to now. I prefer to forget it.’

‘And I don’t want to deal with it now. I’d rather just forget it.’

‘Well, you can judge for yourself but not for me. Of course I might have chosen the wrong girl, but I am supposing that I had been fortunate. In any case there would have been a much better chance than in the marriage that I made.’

‘Well, you can judge for yourself, but not for me. Of course, I might have chosen the wrong girl, but I'm hoping that I was lucky. In any case, there would have been a much better chance than in the marriage I ended up with.’

‘Your marriage was sensible enough, and a few years hence you will be a happy man again.’

‘Your marriage was practical enough, and a few years from now, you’ll be a happy man again.’

‘You seriously think Amy will come back to me?’

‘You really think Amy will come back to me?’

‘Of course I do.’

"Of course I do."

‘Upon my word, I don’t know that I desire it.’

‘Honestly, I’m not sure I want it.’

‘Because you are in a strangely unhealthy state.’

‘Because you are in a strangely unhealthy state.’

‘I rather think I regard the matter more sanely than ever yet. I am quite free from sexual bias. I can see that Amy was not my fit intellectual companion, and all emotion at the thought of her has gone from me. The word “love” is a weariness to me. If only our idiotic laws permitted us to break the legal bond, how glad both of us would be!’

‘I think I see things more clearly than ever. I'm completely free of any sexual bias. I realize that Amy wasn’t my ideal intellectual partner, and all feelings I had for her are gone. The word “love” is exhausting to me. If only our ridiculous laws allowed us to end the legal bond, we would both be so relieved!’

‘You are depressed and anaemic. Get yourself in flesh, and view things like a man of this world.’

‘You’re feeling down and run-down. Get yourself together and see things like a person in this world.’

‘But don’t you think it the best thing that can happen to a man if he outgrows passion?’

‘But don’t you think it’s the best thing that can happen to a man if he outgrows passion?’

‘In certain circumstances, no doubt.’

"In some situations, definitely."

‘In all and any. The best moments of life are those when we contemplate beauty in the purely artistic spirit—objectively. I have had such moments in Greece and Italy; times when I was a free spirit, utterly remote from the temptations and harassings of sexual emotion. What we call love is mere turmoil. Who wouldn’t release himself from it for ever, if the possibility offered?’

‘In all and any. The best moments in life are those when we appreciate beauty in a purely artistic way—objectively. I’ve experienced such moments in Greece and Italy; times when I was a free spirit, completely detached from the temptations and distractions of romantic feelings. What we refer to as love is just chaos. Who wouldn’t want to free themselves from it forever, if given the chance?’

‘Oh, there’s a good deal to be said for that, of course.’

‘Oh, there’s definitely a lot to be said for that, for sure.’

Reardon’s face was illumined with the glow of an exquisite memory.

Reardon's face was lit up by the warmth of a beautiful memory.

‘Haven’t I told you,’ he said, ‘of that marvellous sunset at Athens? I was on the Pnyx; had been rambling about there the whole afternoon. For I dare say a couple of hours I had noticed a growing rift of light in the clouds to the west; it looked as if the dull day might have a rich ending. That rift grew broader and brighter—the only bit of light in the sky. On Parnes there were white strips of ragged mist, hanging very low; the same on Hymettus, and even the peak of Lycabettus was just hidden. Of a sudden, the sun’s rays broke out. They showed themselves first in a strangely beautiful way, striking from behind the seaward hills through the pass that leads to Eleusis, and so gleaming on the nearer slopes of Aigaleos, making the clefts black and the rounded parts of the mountain wonderfully brilliant with golden colour. All the rest of the landscape, remember, was untouched with a ray of light. This lasted only a minute or two, then the sun itself sank into the open patch of sky and shot glory in every direction; broadening beams smote upwards over the dark clouds, and made them a lurid yellow. To the left of the sun, the gulf of Aegina was all golden mist, the islands floating in it vaguely. To the right, over black Salamis, lay delicate strips of pale blue—indescribably pale and delicate.’

"Haven’t I told you," he said, "about that amazing sunset in Athens? I was on the Pnyx, wandering around there all afternoon. For a couple of hours, I noticed a growing gap of light in the clouds to the west; it seemed like the dull day might end beautifully. That gap got wider and brighter—the only light in the sky. On Parnes, there were white strips of ragged mist hanging low; the same on Hymettus, and even the peak of Lycabettus was barely visible. Suddenly, the sun’s rays broke through. They first appeared in a strangely beautiful way, shining from behind the hills by the sea through the pass leading to Eleusis, and glimmering on the nearby slopes of Aigaleos, making the shadows dark and the curved parts of the mountain brilliantly golden. Keep in mind, the rest of the landscape was untouched by light. This lasted only a minute or two, then the sun itself sank into the open patch of sky and spread its glory in every direction; broad beams shot upward over the dark clouds, turning them a lurid yellow. To the left of the sun, the gulf of Aegina was all golden mist, with the islands floating in it vaguely. To the right, over black Salamis, were delicate strips of pale blue—indescribably pale and delicate."

‘You remember it very clearly.’

‘You remember it clearly.’

‘As if I saw it now! But wait. I turned eastward, and there to my astonishment was a magnificent rainbow, a perfect semicircle, stretching from the foot of Parnes to that of Hymettus, framing Athens and its hills, which grew brighter and brighter—the brightness for which there is no name among colours. Hymettus was of a soft misty warmth, a something tending to purple, its ridges marked by exquisitely soft and indefinite shadows, the rainbow coming right down in front. The Acropolis simply glowed and blazed. As the sun descended all these colours grew richer and warmer; for a moment the landscape was nearly crimson. Then suddenly the sun passed into the lower stratum of cloud, and the splendour died almost at once, except that there remained the northern half of the rainbow, which had become double. In the west, the clouds were still glorious for a time; there were two shaped like great expanded wings, edged with refulgence.’

‘As if I could see it now! But wait. I turned eastward, and to my surprise, there was a magnificent rainbow, a perfect semicircle, stretching from the base of Parnes to that of Hymettus, framing Athens and its hills, which grew brighter and brighter—the brightness that has no name among colors. Hymettus had a soft misty warmth, something leaning towards purple, its ridges marked by beautifully soft and vague shadows, with the rainbow coming down right in front. The Acropolis simply glowed and blazed. As the sun set, all these colors grew richer and warmer; for a moment, the landscape was almost crimson. Then suddenly the sun dipped into the lower layer of clouds, and the brilliance faded almost immediately, except for the northern half of the rainbow, which had become double. In the west, the clouds were still stunning for a while; there were two shaped like great expanded wings, edged with brightness.’

‘Stop!’ cried Biffen, ‘or I shall clutch you by the throat. I warned you before that I can’t stand those reminiscences.’

'Stop!' yelled Biffen, 'or I'll grab you by the throat. I warned you before that I can't handle those memories.'

‘Live in hope. Scrape together twenty pounds, and go there, if you die of hunger afterwards.’

‘Live with hope. Gather together twenty pounds, and go there, even if you end up starving afterwards.’

‘I shall never have twenty shillings,’ was the despondent answer.

‘I will never have twenty shillings,’ was the gloomy reply.

‘I feel sure you will sell “Mr Bailey.”’

‘I’m sure you’ll sell “Mr. Bailey.”’

‘It’s kind of you to encourage me; but if “Mr Bailey” is ever sold I don’t mind undertaking to eat my duplicate of the proofs.’

‘It’s nice of you to encourage me; but if “Mr. Bailey” is ever sold, I don’t mind promising to eat my copy of the proofs.’

‘But now, you remember what led me to that. What does a man care for any woman on earth when he is absorbed in contemplation of that kind?’

‘But now, you remember what brought me to that. What does a man care about any woman on Earth when he is lost in thoughts like that?’

‘But it is only one of life’s satisfactions.’

‘But it is just one of life’s pleasures.’

‘I am only maintaining that it is the best, and infinitely preferable to sexual emotion. It leaves, no doubt, no bitterness of any kind. Poverty can’t rob me of those memories. I have lived in an ideal world that was not deceitful, a world which seems to me, when I recall it, beyond the human sphere, bathed in diviner light.’

‘I’m just saying that it’s the best, and way better than sexual feelings. It definitely doesn’t leave any bitterness. Poverty can’t take those memories away from me. I’ve lived in an ideal world that wasn’t misleading, a world that feels, when I think back on it, beyond human experience, filled with a divine light.’

It was four or five days after this that Reardon, on going to his work in City Road, found a note from Carter. It requested him to call at the main hospital at half-past eleven the next morning. He supposed the appointment had something to do with his business at Croydon, whither he had been in the mean time. Some unfavourable news, perhaps; any misfortune was likely.

It was four or five days later when Reardon, heading to work on City Road, found a note from Carter. It asked him to visit the main hospital at 11:30 the next morning. He figured the meeting was related to his work in Croydon, where he had been in the meantime. Maybe some bad news; any kind of trouble seemed possible.

He answered the summons punctually, and on entering the general office was requested by the clerk to wait in Mr Carter’s private room; the secretary had not yet arrived. His waiting lasted some ten minutes, then the door opened and admitted, not Carter, but Mrs Edmund Yule.

He arrived right on time, and when he walked into the general office, the clerk asked him to wait in Mr. Carter’s private room since the secretary hadn’t arrived yet. He waited for about ten minutes, and then the door opened to reveal not Carter, but Mrs. Edmund Yule.

Reardon stood up in perturbation. He was anything but prepared, or disposed, for an interview with this lady. She came towards him with hand extended and a countenance of suave friendliness.

Reardon stood up, feeling uneasy. He was definitely not ready, or willing, to meet with this woman. She approached him with her hand outstretched and a face full of smooth friendliness.

‘I doubted whether you would see me if I let you know,’ she said. ‘Forgive me this little bit of scheming, will you? I have something so very important to speak to you about.’

‘I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me if I told you,’ she said. ‘Please forgive me for this little bit of plotting, okay? I have something really important to talk to you about.’

He said nothing, but kept a demeanour of courtesy.

He said nothing but maintained a polite demeanor.

‘I think you haven’t heard from Amy?’ Mrs Yule asked.

‘I think you haven’t heard from Amy?’ Mrs. Yule asked.

‘Not since I saw her.’

‘Not since I’ve seen her.’

‘And you don’t know what has come to pass?’

‘And you don’t know what’s happened?’

‘I have heard of nothing.’

"I haven't heard anything."

‘I am come to see you quite on my own responsibility, quite. I took Mr Carter into my confidence, but begged him not to let Mrs Carter know, lest she should tell Amy; I think he will keep his promise. It seemed to me that it was really my duty to do whatever I could in these sad, sad circumstances.’

‘I’ve come to see you on my own accord, absolutely. I confided in Mr. Carter but asked him not to let Mrs. Carter know, so she wouldn’t tell Amy; I believe he’ll honor that. It felt like it was truly my responsibility to do whatever I could in these really sad circumstances.’

Reardon listened respectfully, but without sign of feeling.

Reardon listened attentively, but showed no emotion.

‘I had better tell you at once that Amy’s uncle at Wattleborough is dead, and that in his will he has bequeathed her ten thousand pounds.’

‘I should let you know right away that Amy’s uncle at Wattleborough has passed away, and in his will, he has left her ten thousand pounds.’

Mrs Yule watched the effect of this. For a moment none was visible, but she saw at length that Reardon’s lips trembled and his eyebrows twitched.

Mrs. Yule watched how this affected him. For a moment, there was no reaction, but she soon noticed that Reardon's lips were trembling and his eyebrows were twitching.

‘I am glad to hear of her good fortune,’ he said distantly and in even tones.

"I’m happy to hear about her good luck," he said distantly and in a steady voice.

‘You will feel, I am sure,’ continued his mother-in-law, ‘that this must put an end to your most unhappy differences.’

‘You will feel, I’m sure,’ continued his mother-in-law, ‘that this has to put an end to your most unhappy disagreements.’

‘How can it have that result?’

‘How can it have that result?’

‘It puts you both in a very different position, does it not? But for your distressing circumstances, I am sure there would never have been such unpleasantness—never. Neither you nor Amy is the kind of person to take a pleasure in disagreement. Let me beg you to go and see her again. Everything is so different now. Amy has not the faintest idea that I have come to see you, and she mustn’t on any account be told, for her worst fault is that sensitive pride of hers. And I’m sure you won’t be offended, Edwin, if I say that you have very much the same failing. Between two such sensitive people differences might last a lifetime, unless one could be persuaded to take the first step. Do be generous! A woman is privileged to be a little obstinate, it is always said. Overlook the fault, and persuade her to let bygones be bygones.’

‘It puts you both in a very different situation, doesn’t it? If it weren't for your tough circumstances, I’m sure there wouldn't have been such unpleasantness—never. Neither you nor Amy is the type to enjoy a disagreement. Please, I urge you to go see her again. Everything has changed now. Amy has no idea that I’ve come to see you, and she absolutely mustn't be told, because her biggest flaw is her sensitive pride. And I’m sure you won’t be offended, Edwin, if I point out that you share that same trait. Between two such sensitive people, disagreements could last a lifetime unless one of you is willing to take the first step. Please be generous! A woman is often allowed to be a little stubborn, as they always say. Overlook the flaw and convince her to let the past stay in the past.’

There was an involuntary affectedness in Mrs Yule’s speech which repelled Reardon. He could not even put faith in her assurance that Amy knew nothing of this intercession. In any case it was extremely distasteful to him to discuss such matters with Mrs Yule.

There was an unintentional pretentiousness in Mrs. Yule’s speech that turned Reardon off. He couldn’t even believe her claim that Amy didn’t know about this intervention. In any case, he found it really unpleasant to talk about such things with Mrs. Yule.

‘Under no circumstances could I do more than I already have done,’ he replied. ‘And after what you have told me, it is impossible for me to go and see her unless she expressly invites me.’

“There's no way I can do more than I already have,” he replied. “And after what you just told me, I can't go see her unless she specifically invites me.”

‘Oh, if only you would overcome this sensitiveness!’

‘Oh, if only you could get past this sensitivity!’

‘It is not in my power to do so. My poverty, as you justly say, was the cause of our parting; but if Amy is no longer poor, that is very far from a reason why I should go to her as a suppliant for forgiveness.’

‘It’s not in my control to do that. My lack of money, as you rightly pointed out, was the reason we separated; but just because Amy isn’t poor anymore doesn’t mean I should approach her begging for forgiveness.’

‘But do consider the facts of the case, independently of feeling.

‘But do consider the facts of the case, independently of emotion.

I really think I don’t go too far in saying that at least some—some provocation was given by you first of all. I am so very, very far from wishing to say anything disagreeable—I am sure you feel that—but wasn’t there some little ground for complaint on Amy’s part? Wasn’t there, now?’

I honestly don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that at least some—some provocation came from you first. I really don't want to say anything unpleasant—I’m sure you sense that—but wasn't there a little reason for Amy to be upset? Wasn’t there?

Reardon was tortured with nervousness. He wished to be alone, to think over what had happened, and Mrs Yule’s urgent voice rasped upon his ears. Its very smoothness made it worse.

Reardon was filled with anxiety. He wanted to be alone to reflect on what had happened, but Mrs. Yule’s insistent voice grated on his ears. Its overly smooth tone only made it worse.

‘There may have been ground for grief and concern,’ he answered, ‘but for complaint, no, I think not.’

‘There might have been reasons to feel sad and worried,’ he replied, ‘but for complaining, no, I don’t think so.’

‘But I understand’—the voice sounded rather irritable now—‘that you positively reproached and upbraided her because she was reluctant to go and live in some very shocking place.’

‘But I get it’—the voice sounded pretty annoyed now—‘that you definitely criticized and scolded her for not wanting to go live in some really awful place.’

‘I may have lost my temper after Amy had shown—But I can’t review our troubles in this way.’

‘I might have lost my temper after Amy showed—But I can't look back on our issues like this.’

‘Am I to plead in vain?’

‘Am I going to plead in vain?’

‘I regret very much that I can’t possibly do as you wish. It is all between Amy and myself. Interference by other people cannot do any good.’

‘I really regret that I can’t do what you want. It's between Amy and me. Other people interfering won’t help at all.’

‘I am sorry you should use such a word as “interference,”’ replied Mrs Yule, bridling a little. ‘Very sorry, indeed. I confess it didn’t occur to me that my good-will to you could be seen in that light.’

‘I’m sorry you used the word “interference,”’ replied Mrs. Yule, slightly offended. ‘I’m really sorry about that. Honestly, I didn’t think my goodwill towards you could be interpreted that way.’

‘Believe me that I didn’t use the word offensively.’

‘Believe me, I didn’t use that word in an offensive way.’

‘Then you refuse to take any step towards a restoration of good feeling?’

‘So you’re not willing to do anything to restore harmony?’

‘I am obliged to, and Amy would understand perfectly why I say so.’

‘I have to, and Amy would totally get why I say that.’

His earnestness was so unmistakable that Mrs Yule had no choice but to rise and bring the interview to an end. She commanded herself sufficiently to offer a regretful hand.

His sincerity was so clear that Mrs. Yule had no choice but to stand up and end the conversation. She managed to compose herself enough to extend a sympathetic hand.

‘I can only say that my daughter is very, very unfortunate.’

‘I can only say that my daughter is really, really unfortunate.’

Reardon lingered a little after her departure, then left the hospital and walked at a rapid pace in no particular direction.

Reardon stayed for a bit after she left, then exited the hospital and walked quickly without any specific destination in mind.

Ah! if this had happened in the first year of his marriage, what more blessed man than he would have walked the earth! But it came after irreparable harm. No amount of wealth could undo the ruin caused by poverty.

Ah! If this had happened in the first year of his marriage, what a more blessed man he would have been walking the earth! But it came after irreversible damage. No amount of wealth could fix the destruction caused by poverty.

It was natural for him, as soon as he could think with deliberation, to turn towards his only friend. But on calling at the house in Clipstone Street he found the garret empty, and no one could tell him when its occupant was likely to be back. He left a note, and made his way back to Islington. The evening had to be spent at the hospital, but on his return Biffen sat waiting for him.

It was instinctive for him, as soon as he could think clearly, to reach out to his only friend. But when he stopped by the house on Clipstone Street, he found the attic empty, and no one could say when the person living there would return. He left a note and headed back to Islington. He had to spend the evening at the hospital, but when he got back, Biffen was there waiting for him.

‘You called about twelve, didn’t you?’ the visitor inquired.

‘You called around noon, didn’t you?’ the visitor asked.

‘Half-past.’

'Half past.'

‘I was at the police-court. Odd thing—but it always happens so—that I should have spoken of Sykes the other night. Last night I came upon a crowd in Oxford Street, and the nucleus of it was no other than Sykes himself very drunk and disorderly, in the grip of two policemen. Nothing could be done for him; I was useless as bail; he e’en had to sleep in the cell. But I went this morning to see what would become of him. Such a spectacle when they brought him forward! It was only five shillings fine, and to my astonishment he produced the money. I joined him outside—it required a little courage—and had a long talk with him. He’s writing a London Letter for some provincial daily, and the first payment had thrown him off his balance.’

‘I was at the police court. Strange thing—but it always happens like this—that I should have mentioned Sykes the other night. Last night, I came across a crowd in Oxford Street, and at the center of it was none other than Sykes himself, very drunk and out of control, being held by two policemen. There was nothing I could do for him; I was useless as bail; he even had to spend the night in a cell. But I went this morning to see what would happen to him. What a sight when they brought him out! It was only a five-shilling fine, and to my surprise, he handed over the money. I joined him outside—it took a bit of courage—and we had a long chat. He's writing a London Letter for some regional newspaper, and the first payment had thrown him off his game.’

Reardon laughed gaily, and made inquiries about the eccentric gentleman. Only when the subject was exhausted did he speak of his own concerns, relating quietly what he had learnt from Mrs Yule. Biffen’s eyes widened.

Reardon laughed cheerfully and asked about the quirky gentleman. Only after the topic was played out did he share his own issues, calmly explaining what he had learned from Mrs. Yule. Biffen’s eyes grew wide.

‘So,’ Reardon cried with exultation, ‘there is the last burden off my mind! Henceforth I haven’t a care! The only thing that still troubled me was my inability to give Amy enough to live upon. Now she is provided for in secula seculorum. Isn’t this grand news?’

‘So,’ Reardon exclaimed with joy, ‘I’m finally free of my last worry! From now on, I have no cares! The only thing that was bothering me was that I couldn’t provide enough for Amy to live on. Now she’s taken care of for eternity. Isn’t this amazing news?’

‘Decidedly. But if she is provided for, so are you.’

'Definitely. But if she gets taken care of, so do you.'

‘Biffen, you know me better. Could I accept a farthing of her money? This has made our coming together again for ever impossible, unless—unless dead things can come to life. I know the value of money, but I can’t take it from Amy.’

‘Biffen, you know me better. Could I accept even a penny of her money? This has made it impossible for us to come together again, unless—unless dead things can come back to life. I understand the value of money, but I can’t take it from Amy.’

The other kept silence.

The other stayed silent.

‘No! But now everything is well. She has her child, and can devote herself to bringing the boy up. And I—but I shall be rich on my own account. A hundred and fifty a year; it would be a farce to offer Amy her share of it. By all the gods of Olympus, we will go to Greece together, you and I!’

‘No! But now everything is great. She has her child and can focus on raising the boy. And I—but I’ll be rich on my own. One hundred and fifty a year; it would be ridiculous to offer Amy her share of it. By all the gods of Olympus, we’re going to Greece together, you and I!’

‘Pooh!’

‘Gross!’

‘I swear it! Let me save for a couple of years, and then get a good month’s holiday, or more if possible, and, as Pallas Athene liveth! we shall find ourselves at Marseilles, going aboard some boat of the Messageries. I can’t believe yet that this is true. Come, we will have a supper to-night. Come out into Upper Street, and let us eat, drink, and be merry!’

‘I swear! Let me save for a couple of years, and then take a nice holiday for a month or more if possible, and as sure as Pallas Athene lives, we’ll find ourselves in Marseilles, boarding some ship from the Messageries. I can’t believe this is happening. Come on, let’s have dinner tonight. Let’s go out to Upper Street and eat, drink, and be merry!’

‘You are beside yourself. But never mind; let us rejoice by all means. There’s every reason.’

‘You’re really upset. But it’s okay; let’s celebrate anyway. There’s plenty to be happy about.’

‘That poor girl! Now, at last, she’ll be at ease.’

‘That poor girl! Now, finally, she’ll be at peace.’

‘Who?’

'Who?'

‘Amy, of course! I’m delighted on her account. Ah! but if it had come a long time ago, in the happy days! Then she, too, would have gone to Greece, wouldn’t she? Everything in life comes too soon or too late. What it would have meant for her and for me! She would never have hated me then, never. Biffen, am I base or contemptible? She thinks so. That’s how poverty has served me. If you had seen her, how she looked at me, when we met the other day, you would understand well enough why I couldn’t live with her now, not if she entreated me to. That would make me base if you like. Gods! how ashamed I should be if I yielded to such a temptation! And once—’

‘Amy, of course! I’m so happy for her. Ah! but if it had happened a long time ago, in those joyful days! Then she would have gone to Greece too, right? Everything in life comes either too soon or too late. Just think what that would have meant for her and for me! She would never have hated me then, never. Biffen, am I terrible or despicable? She thinks so. That’s what poverty has done to me. If you had seen her, how she looked at me when we ran into each other the other day, you would understand why I couldn’t be with her now, even if she begged me to. That would make me despicable if you see it that way. Gods! I would be so ashamed if I gave in to such a temptation! And once—’

He had worked himself to such intensity of feeling that at length his voice choked and tears burst from his eyes.

He had put so much passion into what he was saying that eventually his voice broke and tears started streaming down his face.

‘Come out, and let us have a walk,’ said Biffen.

‘Come out, and let's take a walk,’ said Biffen.

On leaving the house they found themselves in a thick fog, through which trickled drops of warm rain. Nevertheless, they pursued their purpose, and presently were seated in one of the boxes of a small coffee-shop. Their only companion in the place was a cab-driver, who had just finished a meal, and was now nodding into slumber over his plate and cup. Reardon ordered fried ham and eggs, the luxury of the poor, and when the attendant woman was gone away to execute the order, he burst into excited laughter.

Upon leaving the house, they found themselves in a thick fog, with warm raindrops trickling down. Still, they focused on their goal and soon settled into one of the boxes of a small coffee shop. Their only companion there was a cab driver who had just finished a meal and was now dozing off over his plate and cup. Reardon ordered fried ham and eggs, a treat for the less fortunate, and as the waitress walked away to prepare the order, he erupted into excited laughter.

‘Here we sit, two literary men! How should we be regarded by—’

‘Here we sit, two literary guys! How should people see us—’

He named two or three of the successful novelists of the day.

He named a couple of the successful novelists of the time.

‘With what magnificent scorn they would turn from us and our squalid feast! They have never known struggle; not they. They are public-school men, University men, club men, society men. An income of less than three or four hundred a year is inconceivable to them; that seems the minimum for an educated man’s support. It would be small-minded to think of them with rancour, but, by Apollo! I know that we should change places with them if the work we have done were justly weighed against theirs.’

‘With what magnificent disdain they would turn away from us and our miserable feast! They have never known hardship; certainly not. They are private school graduates, university alumni, club members, and society figures. An income of less than three or four hundred a year is unimaginable to them; that seems like the bare minimum for an educated person's living. It would be petty to feel resentment toward them, but, by Apollo! I know we should swap places with them if our work were fairly compared to theirs.’

‘What does it matter? We are different types of intellectual workers. I think of them savagely now and then, but only when hunger gets a trifle too keen. Their work answers a demand; ours—or mine at all events—doesn’t. They are in touch with the reading multitude; they have the sentiments of the respectable; they write for their class. Well, you had your circle of readers, and, if things hadn’t gone against you, by this time you certainly could have counted on your three or four hundred a year.’

‘What does it matter? We're different kinds of thinkers. I think of them harshly now and then, but only when my hunger gets a bit too intense. Their work meets a need; ours—or mine, at least—doesn't. They connect with the reading public; they reflect the views of the respectable; they write for their peers. Well, you had your audience, and if things hadn’t turned against you, by now you would have definitely been able to count on your three or four hundred a year.’

‘It’s unlikely that I should ever have got more than two hundred pounds for a book; and, to have kept at my best, I must have been content to publish once every two or three years. The position was untenable with no private income. And I must needs marry a wife of dainty instincts! What astounding impudence! No wonder Fate pitched me aside into the gutter.’

‘It’s unlikely I would have ever gotten more than two hundred pounds for a book; and to stay at my best, I would have had to be okay with publishing once every two or three years. The situation was impossible without any private income. And I had to marry a wife with refined tastes! What outrageous arrogance! No wonder Fate tossed me aside into the gutter.’

They ate their ham and eggs, and exhilarated themselves with a cup of chicory—called coffee. Then Biffen drew from the pocket of his venerable overcoat the volume of Euripides he had brought, and their talk turned once more to the land of the sun. Only when the coffee-shop was closed did they go forth again into the foggy street, and at the top of Pentonville Hill they stood for ten minutes debating a metrical effect in one of the Fragments.

They had their ham and eggs, and perked themselves up with a cup of chicory—what they called coffee. Then Biffen pulled out the worn copy of Euripides he had brought from the pocket of his old overcoat, and their conversation shifted back to the land of the sun. They only stepped out into the foggy street again when the coffee shop closed, and at the top of Pentonville Hill, they stood for ten minutes discussing a metrical effect in one of the Fragments.

Day after day Reardon went about with a fever upon him. By evening his pulse was always rapid, and no extremity of weariness brought him a refreshing sleep. In conversation he seemed either depressed or excited, more often the latter. Save when attending to his duties at the hospital, he made no pretence of employing himself; if at home, he sat for hours without opening a book, and his walks, excepting when they led him to Clipstone Street, were aimless.

Day after day, Reardon went about feeling feverish. By evening, his pulse was always racing, and no amount of exhaustion brought him a restful sleep. In conversations, he appeared either down or overly energetic, with the latter being more common. Besides focusing on his responsibilities at the hospital, he didn’t pretend to stay busy; when at home, he would sit for hours without picking up a book, and his walks, except when they took him to Clipstone Street, had no real purpose.

The hours of postal delivery found him waiting in an anguish of suspense. At eight o’clock each morning he stood by his window, listening for the postman’s knock in the street. As it approached he went out to the head of the stairs, and if the knock sounded at the door of his house, he leaned over the banisters, trembling in expectation. But the letter was never for him. When his agitation had subsided he felt glad of the disappointment, and laughed and sang.

The hours of mail delivery had him waiting in a mix of anxiety and anticipation. Every morning at eight o’clock, he stood by his window, listening for the postman’s knock outside. As it got closer, he went to the top of the stairs, and if the knock came at his door, he leaned over the banister, shaking with anticipation. But the letter was never for him. Once his nerves settled, he felt relieved by the letdown and laughed and sang.

One day Carter appeared at the City Road establishment, and made an opportunity of speaking to his clerk in private.

One day, Carter showed up at the City Road establishment and found a chance to talk to his clerk in private.

‘I suppose,’ he said with a smile, ‘they’ll have to look out for someone else at Croydon?’

‘I guess,’ he said with a smile, ‘they’ll need to find someone else at Croydon?’

‘By no means! The thing is settled. I go at Christmas.’

‘No way! It’s decided. I’m leaving at Christmas.’

‘You really mean that?’

"Are you serious?"

‘Undoubtedly.’

'For sure.'

Seeing that Reardon was not disposed even to allude to private circumstances, the secretary said no more, and went away convinced that misfortunes had turned the poor fellow’s brain.

Seeing that Reardon wasn't inclined to even mention personal matters, the secretary said nothing more and walked away, convinced that his misfortunes had driven the poor guy mad.

Wandering in the city, about this time, Reardon encountered his friend the realist.

Wandering around the city around this time, Reardon ran into his friend the realist.

‘Would you like to meet Sykes?’ asked Biffen. ‘I am just going to see him.’

‘Do you want to meet Sykes?’ Biffen asked. ‘I’m about to go see him.’

‘Where does he live?’

“Where does he live?”

‘In some indiscoverable hole. To save fuel, he spends his mornings at some reading-rooms; the admission is only a penny, and there he can see all the papers and do his writing and enjoy a grateful temperature.’

‘In some hidden spot. To save on gas, he spends his mornings at some reading rooms; the entry fee is just a penny, and there he can read all the newspapers, do his writing, and enjoy a pleasant temperature.’

They repaired to the haunt in question. A flight of stairs brought them to a small room in which were exposed the daily newspapers; another ascent, and they were in a room devoted to magazines, chess, and refreshments; yet another, and they reached the department of weekly publications; lastly, at the top of the house, they found a lavatory, and a chamber for the use of those who desired to write. The walls of this last retreat were of blue plaster and sloped inwards from the floor; along them stood school desks with benches, and in one place was suspended a ragged and dirty card announcing that paper and envelopes could be purchased downstairs. An enormous basket full of waste-paper, and a small stove, occupied two corners; ink blotches, satirical designs, and much scribbling in pen and pencil served for mural adornment. From the adjacent lavatory came sounds of splashing and spluttering, and the busy street far below sent up its confused noises.

They headed to the place in question. A flight of stairs led them to a small room with daily newspapers on display; another climb took them to a room for magazines, chess, and snacks; one more step, and they arrived at the area for weekly publications; finally, at the top of the building, they found a restroom and a room for those wanting to write. The walls of this last space were blue plaster and slanted inward from the floor; along them were school desks with benches, and in one spot hung a tattered and dirty sign stating that paper and envelopes could be bought downstairs. An enormous basket filled with waste paper and a small stove occupied two corners; ink stains, satirical sketches, and lots of scribbles in pen and pencil were used as wall decorations. From the nearby restroom came sounds of splashing and spluttering, while the busy street far below sent up its chaotic noises.

Two persons only sat at the desks. One was a hunger-bitten, out-of-work clerk, evidently engaged in replying to advertisements; in front of him lay two or three finished letters, and on the ground at his feet were several crumpled sheets of note-paper, representing abortive essays in composition. The other man, also occupied with the pen, looked about forty years old, and was clad in a very rusty suit of tweeds; on the bench beside him lay a grey overcoat and a silk hat which had for some time been moulting. His face declared the habit to which he was a victim, but it had nothing repulsive in its lineaments and expression; on the contrary, it was pleasing, amiable, and rather quaint. At this moment no one would have doubted his sobriety. With coat-sleeve turned back, so as to give free play to his right hand and wrist, revealing meanwhile a flannel shirt of singular colour, and with his collar unbuttoned (he wore no tie) to leave his throat at ease as he bent myopically over the paper, he was writing at express speed, evidently in the full rush of the ardour of composition. The veins of his forehead were dilated, and his chin pushed forward in a way that made one think of a racing horse.

Two people sat at the desks. One was a starving, unemployed clerk, clearly busy responding to ads; in front of him were a couple of finished letters, and on the floor at his feet were several crumpled sheets of notepaper, representing failed attempts at writing. The other man, also writing, looked about forty years old and wore a very worn-out tweed suit; next to him on the bench lay a gray overcoat and a silk hat that had been shedding for a while. His face showed the signs of a habit he struggled with, but there was nothing off-putting about his features or expression; in fact, it was friendly, kind, and somewhat interesting. At that moment, no one would doubt he was sober. With his coat sleeve rolled up to allow his right hand and wrist to move freely, revealing a uniquely colored flannel shirt, and with his collar unbuttoned (he wore no tie) to keep his throat comfortable as he leaned in closely over the paper, he was writing quickly, clearly caught up in the excitement of creating. The veins on his forehead were bulging, and his chin jutted out in a way that reminded one of a racing horse.

‘Are you too busy to talk?’ asked Biffen, going to his side.

‘Are you too busy to talk?’ Biffen asked, moving to his side.

‘I am! Upon my soul I am!’ exclaimed the other looking up in alarm. ‘For the love of Heaven don’t put me out! A quarter of an hour!’

‘I am! I swear I am!’ exclaimed the other, looking up in alarm. ‘For the love of God, don’t shut me out! Just give me fifteen minutes!’

‘All right. I’ll come up again.’

"Alright. I'll come up again."

The friends went downstairs and turned over the papers.

The friends went downstairs and flipped through the papers.

‘Now let’s try him again,’ said Biffen, when considerably more than the requested time had elapsed. They went up, and found Mr Sykes in an attitude of melancholy meditation. He had turned back his coat sleeve, had buttoned his collar, and was eyeing the slips of completed manuscript. Biffen presented his companion, and Mr Sykes greeted the novelist with much geniality.

‘Now let’s give him another shot,’ said Biffen, after a lot more time than asked had passed. They went upstairs and found Mr. Sykes lost in deep thought. He had rolled back his coat sleeve, buttoned his collar, and was looking over the finished manuscript pages. Biffen introduced his companion, and Mr. Sykes welcomed the novelist warmly.

‘What do you think this is?’ he exclaimed, pointing to his work. ‘The first instalment of my autobiography for the “Shropshire Weekly Herald.” Anonymous, of course, but strictly veracious, with the omission of sundry little personal failings which are nothing to the point. I call it “Through the Wilds of Literary London.” An old friend of mine edits the “Herald,” and I’m indebted to him for the suggestion.’

‘What do you think this is?’ he exclaimed, pointing to his work. ‘The first installment of my autobiography for the “Shropshire Weekly Herald.” Anonymous, of course, but totally truthful, with a few small personal flaws left out that don’t really matter. I call it “Through the Wilds of Literary London.” An old friend of mine edits the “Herald,” and I owe him for the suggestion.’

His voice was a trifle husky, but he spoke like a man of education.

His voice was slightly husky, but he spoke like an educated man.

‘Most people will take it for fiction. I wish I had inventive power enough to write fiction anything like it. I have published novels, Mr Reardon, but my experience in that branch of literature was peculiar—as I may say it has been in most others to which I have applied myself. My first stories were written for “The Young Lady’s Favourite,” and most remarkable productions they were, I promise you. That was fifteen years ago, in the days of my versatility. I could throw off my supplemental novelette of fifteen thousand words without turning a hair, and immediately after it fall to, fresh as a daisy, on the “Illustrated History of the United States,” which I was then doing for Edward Coghlan. But presently I thought myself too good for the “Favourite”; in an evil day I began to write three-volume novels, aiming at reputation. It wouldn’t do. I persevered for five years, and made about five failures. Then I went back to Bowring. “Take me on again, old man, will you?” Bowring was a man of few words; he said, “Blaze away, my boy.” And I tried to. But it was no use; I had got out of the style; my writing was too literary by a long chalk. For a whole year I deliberately strove to write badly, but Bowring was so pained with the feebleness of my efforts that at last he sternly bade me avoid his sight. “What the devil,” he roared one day, “do you mean by sending me stories about men and women? You ought to know better than that, a fellow of your experience!” So I had to give it up, and there was an end of my career as a writer of fiction.’

‘Most people will think it's fiction. I wish I had the creativity to write fiction even close to it. I've published novels, Mr. Reardon, but my experience in that area of literature has been unique – as it has been in most other things I’ve tried. My first stories were for “The Young Lady’s Favourite,” and they were quite remarkable, I promise you. That was fifteen years ago, back when I was versatile. I could whip up a supplementary novelette of fifteen thousand words without breaking a sweat, and then jump right into the “Illustrated History of the United States,” which I was working on for Edward Coghlan. But then I started to think I was too good for the “Favourite”; on a bad day, I began writing three-volume novels, aiming for recognition. That didn’t work. I kept at it for five years and had about five failures. Then I went back to Bowring. “Can you take me on again, old man?” Bowring was a man of few words; he said, “Go for it, my boy.” And I tried to. But it was pointless; I had lost the style; my writing was way too literary. For a whole year, I tried purposely to write badly, but Bowring was so disturbed by how weak my attempts were that he eventually told me to stay out of his sight. “What the hell,” he yelled one day, “do you mean by sending me stories about people? You should know better than that, someone with your experience!” So I had to give up, and that was the end of my career as a fiction writer.’

He shook his head sadly.

He shook his head sadly.

‘Biffen,’ he continued, ‘when I first made his acquaintance, had an idea of writing for the working classes; and what do you think he was going to offer them? Stories about the working classes! Nay, never hang your head for it, old boy; it was excusable in the days of your youth. Why, Mr Reardon, as no doubt you know well enough, nothing can induce working men or women to read stories that treat of their own world. They are the most consumed idealists in creation, especially the women. Again and again work-girls have said to me: “Oh, I don’t like that book; it’s nothing but real life.”’

‘Biffen,’ he continued, ‘when I first met him, had a plan to write for the working class; and what do you think he was going to offer them? Stories about the working class! No need to hang your head over it, old boy; it was understandable in your youth. Listen, Mr. Reardon, as you probably know well enough, nothing can persuade working men or women to read stories about their own lives. They are the most idealistic people out there, especially the women. Time and time again, work-girls have told me: “Oh, I don’t like that book; it’s nothing but real life.”’

‘It’s the fault of women in general,’ remarked Reardon.

‘It's the fault of women in general,’ Reardon said.

‘So it is, but it comes out with delicious naivete in the working classes. Now, educated people like to read of scenes that are familiar to them, though I grant you that the picture must be idealised if you’re to appeal to more than one in a thousand. The working classes detest anything that tries to represent their daily life. It isn’t because that life is too painful; no, no; it’s downright snobbishness. Dickens goes down only with the best of them, and then solely because of his strength in farce and his melodrama.’

‘That's true, but it comes across with a charming simplicity in the working classes. Educated people enjoy reading about scenes they recognize, though I agree that the portrayal needs to be idealized if you want to reach more than one in a thousand. The working classes can't stand anything that tries to depict their daily lives. It's not because their lives are too hard; no, it’s simply snobbishness. Dickens only resonates with the best of them, and even then only because of his skill in farce and melodrama.’

Presently the three went out together, and had dinner at an a la mode beef shop. Mr Sykes ate little, but took copious libations of porter at twopence a pint. When the meal was over he grew taciturn.

Right now, the three of them went out together and had dinner at a trendy beef restaurant. Mr. Sykes ate very little but drank a lot of porter at two pence a pint. Once the meal was done, he became quiet.

‘Can you walk westwards?’ Biffen asked.

“Can you walk west?” Biffen asked.

‘I’m afraid not, afraid not. In fact I have an appointment at two—at Aldgate station.’

‘I’m afraid not, afraid not. In fact, I have an appointment at two—at Aldgate station.’

They parted from him.

They left him.

‘Now he’ll go and soak till he’s unconscious,’ said Biffen. ‘Poor fellow! Pity he ever earns anything at all. The workhouse would be better, I should think.’

‘Now he’ll go and drink until he’s out cold,’ said Biffen. ‘Poor guy! I feel sorry he ever makes any money at all. The workhouse would probably be better, I think.’

‘No, no! Let a man drink himself to death rather. I have a horror of the workhouse. Remember the clock at Marylebone I used to tell you about.’

‘No, no! I’d rather a man drinks himself to death. I can’t stand the thought of the workhouse. Remember the clock at Marylebone I used to tell you about?’

‘Unphilosophic. I don’t think I should be unhappy in the workhouse. I should have a certain satisfaction in the thought that I had forced society to support me. And then the absolute freedom from care! Why, it’s very much the same as being a man of independent fortune.’

‘Unphilosophic. I don’t think I should be unhappy in the workhouse. I should have a certain satisfaction in the thought that I had forced society to support me. And then the absolute freedom from care! Why, it’s very much the same as being a man of independent fortune.’

It was about a week after this, midway in November, that there at length came to Manville Street a letter addressed in Amy’s hand. It arrived at three one afternoon; Reardon heard the postman, but he had ceased to rush out on every such occasion, and to-day he was feeling ill. Lying upon the bed, he had just raised his head wearily when he became aware that someone was mounting to his room. He sprang up, his face and neck flushing.

It was about a week later, around mid-November, when a letter finally arrived at Manville Street, written in Amy's handwriting. It got there at three in the afternoon; Reardon heard the postman, but he had stopped rushing out for every delivery, and today he was feeling unwell. Lying on the bed, he had just lifted his head tiredly when he realized someone was coming up to his room. He quickly got up, his face and neck turning red.

This time Amy began ‘Dear Edwin’; the sight of those words made his brain swim.

This time Amy started with ‘Dear Edwin’; seeing those words made his head spin.

‘You must, of course, have heard [she wrote] that my uncle John has left me ten thousand pounds. It has not yet come into my possession, and I had decided that I would not write to you till that happened, but perhaps you may altogether misunderstand my silence.

‘You must have heard [she wrote] that my uncle John left me ten thousand pounds. It hasn't come into my possession yet, and I had decided not to write to you until it did, but maybe you'll completely misunderstand my silence.

‘If this money had come to me when you were struggling so hard to earn a living for us, we should never have spoken the words and thought the thoughts which now make it so difficult for me to write to you. What I wish to say is that, although the property is legally my own, I quite recognise that you have a right to share in it. Since we have lived apart you have sent me far more than you could really afford, believing it your duty to do so; now that things are so different I wish you, as well as myself, to benefit by the change.

‘If I had received this money when you were working so hard to support us, we wouldn't have said the things or thought the thoughts that now make it so hard for me to write to you. What I want to say is that, even though the property is legally mine, I completely understand that you have a right to share in it. Since we’ve been living apart, you’ve sent me way more than you could actually afford, believing it was your duty; now that things have changed, I want both of us to benefit from this change.’

‘I said at our last meeting that I should be quite prepared to return to you if you took that position at Croydon. There is now no need for you to pursue a kind of work for which you are quite unfitted, and I repeat that I am willing to live with you as before. If you will tell me where you would like to make a new home I shall gladly agree. I do not think you would care to leave London permanently, and certainly I should not.

‘I mentioned at our last meeting that I would be more than willing to move back in with you if you took that position in Croydon. There's no reason for you to chase a job that you're not suited for, and I want to emphasize that I'm open to living together again like before. If you let me know where you'd like to create a new home, I'm completely on board. I doubt you would want to leave London for good, and I definitely wouldn't either.’

‘Please to let me hear from you as soon as possible. In writing like this I feel that I have done what you expressed a wish that I should do. I have asked you to put an end to our separation, and I trust that I have not asked in vain.

‘Please let me know your thoughts as soon as you can. By writing this, I believe I’ve done what you wished for me to do. I have asked you to end our separation, and I hope I haven’t asked for nothing.’

‘Yours always,

“Always yours,”

‘AMY REARDON.’

‘Amy Reardon.’

The letter fell from his hand. It was such a letter as he might have expected, but the beginning misled him, and as his agitation throbbed itself away he suffered an encroachment of despair which made him for a time unable to move or even think.

The letter dropped from his hand. It was exactly the kind of letter he had anticipated, but the opening threw him off, and as his anxiety faded, he was overcome by a wave of despair that left him temporarily unable to move or think.

His reply, written by the dreary twilight which represented sunset, ran thus.

His reply, written in the dull twilight of sunset, went like this.

‘Dear Amy,—I thank you for your letter, and I appreciate your motive in writing it. But if you feel that you have “done what I expressed a wish that you should do,” you must have strangely misunderstood me.

‘Dear Amy,—Thank you for your letter; I appreciate why you wrote it. However, if you believe you’ve “done what I asked you to do,” then you must have misunderstood me in a surprising way.

‘The only one thing that I wished was, that by some miracle your love for me might be revived. Can I persuade myself that this is the letter of a wife who desires to return to me because in her heart she loves me? If that is the truth you have been most unfortunate in trying to express yourself.

‘The only thing I wished for was that by some miracle your love for me could be revived. Can I convince myself that this is the letter of a wife who wants to come back to me because she truly loves me? If that’s the case, you’ve been really unfortunate in trying to express yourself.’

‘You have written because it seemed your duty to do so. But, indeed, a sense of duty such as this is a mistaken one. You have no love for me, and where there is no love there is no mutual obligation in marriage. Perhaps you think that regard for social conventions will necessitate your living with me again. But have more courage; refuse to act falsehoods; tell society it is base and brutal, and that you prefer to live an honest life.

‘You wrote because you felt it was your obligation to do so. But really, that kind of obligation is misguided. You don’t love me, and without love, there’s no true obligation in marriage. Maybe you think following social expectations means you have to live with me again. But be brave; don’t go along with lies; tell society it’s low and cruel, and that you’d rather live an honest life.’

‘I cannot share your wealth, dear. But as you have no longer need of my help—as we are now quite independent of each other—I shall cease to send the money which hitherto I have considered yours. In this way I shall have enough, and more than enough, for my necessities, so that you will never have to trouble yourself with the thought that I am suffering privations. At Christmas I go to Croydon, and I will then write to you again.

‘I can’t share your wealth, dear. But since you no longer need my help—and we’re now completely independent of each other—I’ll stop sending the money that I’ve always considered yours. This way, I’ll have enough, and more than enough, for my needs, so you won’t have to worry about me going without. I’ll be going to Croydon for Christmas, and I’ll write to you again then.

‘For we may at all events be friendly. My mind is relieved from ceaseless anxiety on your account. I know now that you are safe from that accursed poverty which is to blame for all our sufferings. You I do not blame, though I have sometimes done so. My own experience teaches me how kindness can be embittered by misfortune. Some great and noble sorrow may have the effect of drawing hearts together, but to struggle against destitution, to be crushed by care about shillings and sixpences—that must always degrade.

‘We can at least be friendly. I no longer worry constantly about you. I know now that you’re safe from that terrible poverty that causes all our pain. I don't blame you, even though I have at times. My own experience shows me how kindness can be soured by hardship. A deep and noble sorrow might bring people closer together, but fighting against being broke, being weighed down by concerns about pennies— that will always bring you down.’

‘No other reply than this is possible, so I beg you not to write in this way again. Let me know if you go to live elsewhere. I hope Willie is well, and that his growth is still a delight and happiness to you.

‘No other reply than this is possible, so please don’t write like this again. Let me know if you move somewhere else. I hope Willie is doing well, and that his growth continues to bring you joy and happiness.

‘EDWIN REARDON.’

‘EDWIN REARDON.’

That one word ‘dear,’ occurring in the middle of the letter, gave him pause as he read the lines over. Should he not obliterate it, and even in such a way that Amy might see what he had done? His pen was dipped in the ink for that purpose, but after all he held his hand. Amy was still dear to him, say what he might, and if she noted the word—if she pondered over it—

That one word 'dear,' appearing in the middle of the letter, made him stop as he read through the lines again. Should he erase it, even in a way that Amy would notice what he had done? He had his pen ready for that, but in the end, he hesitated. Amy was still important to him, no matter what he said, and if she noticed the word—if she thought about it—

A street gas lamp prevented the room from becoming absolutely dark. When he had closed the envelope he lay down on his bed again, and watched the flickering yellowness upon the ceiling. He ought to have some tea before going to the hospital, but he cared so little for it that the trouble of boiling water was too great.

A street gas lamp kept the room from going completely dark. After sealing the envelope, he lay back on his bed and stared at the flickering yellow light on the ceiling. He should have made some tea before heading to the hospital, but he was so indifferent to it that boiling water felt like too much trouble.

The flickering light grew fainter; he understood at length that this was caused by fog that had begun to descend. The fog was his enemy; it would be wise to purchase a respirator if this hideous weather continued, for sometimes his throat burned, and there was a rasping in his chest which gave disagreeable admonition.

The flickering light dimmed; he finally realized that this was due to the fog that had started to roll in. The fog was his enemy; it would be smart to get a respirator if this terrible weather kept up, because sometimes his throat felt painful, and there was a harshness in his chest that served as an uncomfortable warning.

He fell asleep for half an hour, and on awaking he was feverish, as usual at this time of day. Well, it was time to go to his work. Ugh! That first mouthful of fog!

He dozed off for half an hour, and when he woke up, he felt feverish, just like he usually did at this time of day. Well, it was time to get to work. Ugh! That first gulp of fog!





CHAPTER XXVIII. INTERIM

The rooms which Milvain had taken for himself and his sisters were modest, but more expensive than their old quarters. As the change was on his account he held himself responsible for the extra outlay. But for his immediate prospects this step would have been unwarrantable, as his earnings were only just sufficient for his needs on the previous footing. He had resolved that his marriage must take place before Christmas; till that event he would draw when necessary upon the girls’ little store, and then repay them out of Marian’s dowry.

The rooms Milvain rented for himself and his sisters were simple, but more expensive than their old place. Since the change was for his benefit, he felt responsible for the extra costs. But considering his current situation, this move would have been unjustifiable, as his income was barely enough to cover his previous expenses. He had decided that he needed to get married before Christmas; until that happened, he would occasionally use the girls’ small savings and then pay them back with Marian’s dowry.

‘And what are we to do when you are married?’ asked Dora.

‘And what are we supposed to do when you get married?’ asked Dora.

The question was put on the first evening of their being all under the same roof. The trio had had supper in the girls’ sitting-room, and it was a moment for frank conversation. Dora rejoiced in the coming marriage; her brother had behaved honourably, and Marian, she trusted, would be very happy, notwithstanding disagreement with her father, which seemed inevitable. Maud was by no means so well pleased, though she endeavoured to wear smiles. It looked to her as if Jasper had been guilty of a kind of weakness not to be expected in him. Marian, as an individual, could not be considered an appropriate wife for such a man with such a future; and as for her five thousand pounds, that was ridiculous. Had it been ten—something can be made of ten thousand; but a paltry five! Maud’s ideas on such subjects had notably expanded of late, and one of the results was that she did not live so harmoniously with her sister as for the first few months of their London career.

The question came up on the first evening they were all together under one roof. The three of them had dinner in the girls’ sitting room, and it was a good time for an open conversation. Dora was excited about the upcoming marriage; her brother had acted honorably, and she hoped Marian would be very happy, despite the unavoidable disagreement with her father. Maud wasn’t nearly as happy, even though she tried to smile. It seemed to her that Jasper had shown a kind of weakness that she hadn't expected from him. Marian, as a person, didn’t seem suited to be a wife for a man with such a future; and about her five thousand pounds, that was just silly. If it had been ten—there's something that can be made with ten thousand; but a meager five! Maud’s views on these matters had definitely broadened lately, and one of the consequences was that she wasn’t getting along with her sister as well as they had during the first few months of their time in London.

‘I have been thinking a good deal about that,’ replied Jasper to the younger girl’s question. He stood with his back to the fire and smoked a cigarette. ‘I thought at first of taking a flat; but then a flat of the kind I should want would be twice the rent of a large house. If we have a house with plenty of room in it you might come and live with us after a time. At first I must find you decent lodgings in our neighbourhood.’

‘I’ve been thinking a lot about that,’ Jasper replied to the younger girl’s question. He stood with his back to the fire, smoking a cigarette. ‘I initially considered getting an apartment, but an apartment like the one I’d want would cost twice as much as a big house. If we get a house with plenty of space, you could come and live with us after a while. For now, I need to find you a nice place to stay in our area.’

‘You show a good deal of generosity, Jasper,’ said Maud, ‘but pray remember that Marian isn’t bringing you five thousand a year.’

‘You’re being quite generous, Jasper,’ Maud said, ‘but please remember that Marian isn’t bringing in five thousand a year.’

‘I regret to say that she isn’t. What she brings me is five hundred a year for ten years—that’s how I look at it. My own income will make it something between six or seven hundred at first, and before long probably more like a thousand. I am quite cool and collected. I understand exactly where I am, and where I am likely to be ten years hence. Marian’s money is to be spent in obtaining a position for myself. At present I am spoken of as a “smart young fellow,” and that kind of thing; but no one would offer me an editorship, or any other serious help. Wait till I show that I have helped myself and hands will be stretched to me from every side. ‘Tis the way of the world. I shall belong to a club; I shall give nice, quiet little dinners to selected people; I shall let it be understood by all and sundry that I have a social position. Thenceforth I am quite a different man, a man to be taken into account. And what will you bet me that I don’t stand in the foremost rank of literary reputabilities ten years hence?’

‘I regret to say that she isn’t. What she brings me is five hundred a year for ten years—that’s how I see it. My own income will start around six or seven hundred, and before long it will probably be closer to a thousand. I’m pretty calm and collected. I know exactly where I am and where I’ll likely be in ten years. Marian’s money is meant to help me secure a position for myself. Right now, people think of me as a “smart young fellow” and that kind of thing; but no one would offer me an editorship or any real support. Just wait until I prove I can help myself, and then everyone will be reaching out to me. That’s how the world works. I’ll join a club; I’ll host nice, quiet dinners for a select group; I’ll make it clear to everyone that I have a social standing. From that point on, I’ll be a completely different man, someone to be taken seriously. And what will you bet that I’ll be at the forefront of literary reputation ten years from now?’

‘I doubt whether six or seven hundred a year will be enough for this.’

‘I’m not sure if six or seven hundred a year will be enough for this.’

‘If not, I am prepared to spend a thousand. Bless my soul! As if two or three years wouldn’t suffice to draw out the mean qualities in the kind of people I am thinking of! I say ten, to leave myself a great margin.’

‘If not, I’m ready to spend a thousand. Bless my soul! As if two or three years wouldn’t be enough to bring out the worst traits in the kind of people I'm thinking about! I say ten, to give myself a big cushion.’

‘Marian approves this?’

"Does Marian approve this?"

‘I haven’t distinctly spoken of it. But she approves whatever I think good.’

"I haven't talked about it clearly. But she supports everything I think is good."

The girls laughed at his way of pronouncing this.

The girls laughed at how he pronounced this.

‘And let us just suppose that you are so unfortunate as to fail?’

‘And let’s just say that you’re unlucky enough to fail?’

‘There’s no supposing it, unless, of course, I lose my health. I am not presuming on any wonderful development of powers. Such as I am now, I need only to be put on the little pedestal of a decent independence and plenty of people will point fingers of admiration at me. You don’t fully appreciate this. Mind, it wouldn’t do if I had no qualities. I have the qualities; they only need bringing into prominence. If I am an unknown man, and publish a wonderful book, it will make its way very slowly, or not at all. If I, become a known man, publish that very same book, its praise will echo over both hemispheres. I should be within the truth if I had said “a vastly inferior book,” But I am in a bland mood at present. Suppose poor Reardon’s novels had been published in the full light of reputation instead of in the struggling dawn which was never to become day, wouldn’t they have been magnified by every critic? You have to become famous before you can secure the attention which would give fame.’

‘There’s no doubt about it, unless, of course, I lose my health. I’m not counting on some amazing boost in abilities. As I am now, I just need to be placed on a little pedestal of decent independence, and a lot of people will admire me. You don’t really get this. Keep in mind, it wouldn’t work if I had no qualities. I have the qualities; they just need to be highlighted. If I’m an unknown man and I publish an amazing book, it’ll take a long time to gain traction, or it might not at all. If I become a known man and publish that same book, its praise will resonate across both hemispheres. I’d be accurate if I said “a much lesser book,” but I’m feeling generous right now. Imagine if poor Reardon’s novels had been released under the bright light of reputation instead of in the struggling dawn that never turned into day—wouldn’t they have been praised by every critic? You need to become famous first to get the attention that leads to fame.’

He delivered this apophthegm with emphasis, and repeated it in another form.

He said this saying with emphasis and repeated it in a different way.

‘You have to obtain reputation before you can get a fair hearing for that which would justify your repute. It’s the old story of the French publisher who said to Dumas: “Make a name, and I’ll publish anything you write.” “But how the diable,” cries the author, “am I to make a name if I can’t get published?” If a man can’t hit upon any other way of attracting attention, let him dance on his head in the middle of the street; after that he may hope to get consideration for his volume of poems. I am speaking of men who wish to win reputation before they are toothless. Of course if your work is strong, and you can afford to wait, the probability is that half a dozen people will at last begin to shout that you have been monstrously neglected, as you have. But that happens when you are hoary and sapless, and when nothing under the sun delights you.’

‘You need to build a reputation before you can get a fair chance to justify that reputation. It’s the classic situation with the French publisher who told Dumas: “Make a name, and I’ll publish anything you write.” “But how the heck,” the author exclaims, “am I supposed to make a name if I can’t get published?” If someone can’t find any other way to grab attention, they might as well dance on their head in the middle of the street; after that, they might hope to get some recognition for their poetry book. I'm talking about people who want to earn a reputation before they lose their vitality. Of course, if your work is really good and you can afford to be patient, there’s a good chance that eventually a few people will start shouting that you’ve been incredibly overlooked, which you have. But that usually happens when you’re old and out of touch, and when nothing in the world excites you anymore.’

He lit a new cigarette.

He lit a fresh cigarette.

‘Now I, my dear girls, am not a man who can afford to wait. First of all, my qualities are not of the kind which demand the recognition of posterity. My writing is for to-day, most distinctly hodiernal. It has no value save in reference to to-day. The question is: How can I get the eyes of men fixed upon me? The answer: By pretending I am quite independent of their gaze. I shall succeed, without any kind of doubt; and then I’ll have a medal struck to celebrate the day of my marriage.’

‘Now I, my dear girls, am not someone who can afford to wait. First of all, my qualities don't need to be recognized by future generations. My writing is for today, very much focused on the present. It has no value except in relation to today. The question is: How can I get people's attention? The answer: By pretending I don’t depend on their gaze at all. I will succeed, no doubt about it; and then I’ll have a medal made to celebrate the day of my wedding.’

But Jasper was not quite so well assured of the prudence of what he was about to do as he wished his sisters to believe. The impulse to which he had finally yielded still kept its force; indeed, was stronger than ever since the intimacy of lovers’ dialogue had revealed to him more of Marian’s heart and mind. Undeniably he was in love. Not passionately, not with the consuming desire which makes every motive seem paltry compared with its own satisfaction; but still quite sufficiently in love to have a great difficulty in pursuing his daily tasks. This did not still the voice which bade him remember all the opportunities and hopes he was throwing aside. Since the plighting of troth with Marian he had been over to Wimbledon, to the house of his friend and patron Mr Horace Barlow, and there he had again met with Miss Rupert. This lady had no power whatever over his emotions, but he felt assured that she regarded him with strong interest. When he imagined the possibility of contracting a marriage with Miss Rupert, who would make him at once a man of solid means, his head drooped, and he wondered at his precipitation. It had to be confessed that he was the victim of a vulgar weakness. He had declared himself not of the first order of progressive men.

But Jasper wasn't as confident about the wisdom of what he was about to do as he wanted his sisters to think. The urge he had finally given in to still held its strength; in fact, it was stronger than ever since the closeness of their conversation had shown him more of Marian’s feelings and thoughts. There was no doubt he was in love. Not passionately, not with that consuming desire that makes everything else seem trivial compared to its satisfaction; but still, he was in love enough to find it difficult to focus on his daily tasks. This didn’t silence the voice reminding him of all the opportunities and hopes he was letting slip away. Since promising his devotion to Marian, he had been to Wimbledon, to the home of his friend and patron Mr. Horace Barlow, where he had met Miss Rupert again. This woman had no control over his feelings, but he was sure she regarded him with keen interest. When he considered the possibility of marrying Miss Rupert, who could immediately make him a man of substantial means, his head hung low, and he questioned his hasty decisions. It had to be acknowledged that he was a victim of a common weakness. He had admitted that he was not among the first tier of progressive men.

The conversation with Amy Reardon did not tend to put his mind at rest. Amy was astonished at so indiscreet a step in a man of his calibre. Ah! if only Amy herself were free, with her ten thousand pounds to dispose of! She, he felt sure, did not view him with indifference. Was there not a touch of pique in the elaborate irony with which she had spoken of his choice?—But it was idle to look in that direction.

The conversation with Amy Reardon didn’t really ease his mind. Amy was shocked by such a reckless move from a man like him. If only Amy herself were single, with her ten thousand pounds to spend! He was certain she didn’t see him with indifference. Wasn’t there a hint of annoyance in the way she had commented on his choice?—But it was pointless to think that way.

He was anxious on his sisters’ account. They were clever girls, and with energy might before long earn a bare subsistence; but it began to be doubtful whether they would persevere in literary work. Maud, it was clear, had conceived hopes of quite another kind. Her intimacy with Mrs Lane was effecting a change in her habits, her dress, even her modes of speech. A few days after their establishment in the new lodgings, Jasper spoke seriously on this subject with the younger girl.

He was worried about his sisters. They were smart girls and with some effort could probably earn a basic living soon, but it was becoming uncertain whether they would stick with writing. Maud, it seemed, had dreams of a different sort. Her closeness with Mrs. Lane was changing her habits, her style, and even how she talked. A few days after they moved into their new place, Jasper had a serious discussion about this with the younger girl.

‘I wonder whether you could satisfy my curiosity in a certain matter,’ he said. ‘Do you, by chance, know how much Maud gave for that new jacket in which I saw her yesterday?’

‘I wonder if you could satisfy my curiosity about something,’ he said. ‘Do you happen to know how much Maud paid for that new jacket I saw her in yesterday?’

Dora was reluctant to answer.

Dora was hesitant to respond.

‘I don’t think it was very much.’

‘I don’t think it was that much.’

‘That is to say, it didn’t cost twenty guineas. Well, I hope not.

‘That means it didn’t cost twenty guineas. Well, I hope not.

I notice, too, that she has been purchasing a new hat.’

I also see that she’s been buying a new hat.

‘Oh, that was very inexpensive. She trimmed it herself.’

‘Oh, that was really cheap. She cut it herself.’

‘Did she? Is there any particular, any quite special, reason for this expenditure?’

‘Did she? Is there a specific, any special reason for this spending?’

‘I really can’t say, Jasper.’

"I honestly can't say, Jasper."

‘That’s ambiguous, you know. Perhaps it means you won’t allow yourself to say?’

‘That’s unclear, you know. Maybe it means you won’t let yourself say it?’

‘No, Maud doesn’t tell me about things of that kind.’

‘No, Maud doesn’t talk to me about things like that.’

He took opportunities of investigating the matter, with the result that some ten days after he sought private colloquy with Maud herself. She had asked his opinion of a little paper she was going to send to a ladies’ illustrated weekly, and he summoned her to his own room.

He took the chance to look into the situation, and about ten days later, he asked to speak with Maud privately. She had asked for his thoughts on a small article she was planning to submit to a women's illustrated magazine, so he brought her to his own room.

‘I think this will do pretty well,’ he said. ‘There’s rather too much thought in it, perhaps. Suppose you knock out one or two of the less obvious reflections, and substitute a wholesome commonplace? You’ll have a better chance, I assure you.’

‘I think this will do pretty well,’ he said. ‘There’s maybe a bit too much thought in it. How about you cut out one or two of the less obvious reflections and replace them with something more straightforward? You’ll have a better shot, trust me.’

‘But I shall make it worthless.’

‘But I will make it worthless.’

‘No; you’ll probably make it worth a guinea or so. You must remember that the people who read women’s papers are irritated, simply irritated, by anything that isn’t glaringly obvious. They hate an unusual thought. The art of writing for such papers—indeed, for the public in general—is to express vulgar thought and feeling in a way that flatters the vulgar thinkers and feelers. Just abandon your mind to it, and then let me see it again.’

‘No; you’ll probably make it worth a guinea or so. You need to remember that the people who read women’s magazines are just irritated, plain irritated, by anything that isn’t super obvious. They can’t stand a different perspective. The key to writing for these magazines—really, for the public in general—is to express simple thoughts and feelings in a way that flatters those who think and feel in a basic way. Just let go of your mind and then let me see it again.’

Maud took up the manuscript and glanced over it with a contemptuous smile. Having observed her for a moment, Jasper threw himself back in the chair and said, as if casually:

Maud picked up the manuscript and skimmed it with a dismissive smile. After watching her for a moment, Jasper flopped back in the chair and said, as if it were no big deal:

‘I am told that Mr Dolomore is becoming a great friend of yours.’

‘I’ve heard that Mr. Dolomore is becoming a good friend of yours.’

The girl’s face changed. She drew herself up, and looked away towards the window.

The girl’s expression shifted. She straightened up and turned her gaze toward the window.

‘I don’t know that he is a “great” friend.’

‘I don’t know if he’s a “great” friend.’

‘Still, he pays enough attention to you to excite remark.’

‘Still, he pays enough attention to you to draw comments.’

‘Whose remark?’

‘Whose comment?’

‘That of several people who go to Mrs Lane’s.’

‘That of several people who go to Mrs. Lane’s.’

‘I don’t know any reason for it,’ said Maud coldly.

"I don't have any reason for it," Maud said coldly.

‘Look here, Maud, you don’t mind if I give you a friendly warning?’

‘Hey, Maud, do you mind if I give you a friendly heads-up?’

She kept silence, with a look of superiority to all monition.

She stayed quiet, looking down on any warning.

‘Dolomore,’ pursued her brother, ‘is all very well in his way, but that way isn’t yours. I believe he has a good deal of money, but he has neither brains nor principle. There’s no harm in your observing the nature and habits of such individuals, but don’t allow yourself to forget that they are altogether beneath you.’

‘Dolomore,’ her brother continued, ‘is fine in his own way, but that way isn’t yours. I think he has a lot of money, but he lacks both intelligence and integrity. It’s okay for you to observe the nature and habits of people like him, but don’t let yourself forget that they are completely beneath you.’

‘There’s no need whatever for you to teach me self-respect,’ replied the girl.

‘You don’t need to teach me about self-respect,’ the girl replied.

‘I’m quite sure of that; but you are inexperienced. On the whole, I do rather wish that you would go less frequently to Mrs Lane’s. It was rather an unfortunate choice of yours. Very much better if you could have got on a good footing with the Barnabys. If you are generally looked upon as belonging to the Lanes’ set it will make it difficult for you to get in with the better people.’

‘I’m pretty sure of that; but you’re inexperienced. Overall, I really wish you would visit Mrs. Lane less often. It was a bit of an unfortunate choice on your part. It would have been much better if you had connected with the Barnabys. If people see you as part of the Lanes’ group, it will make it harder for you to get in with the more respectable crowd.’

Maud was not to be drawn into argument, and Jasper could only hope that his words would have some weight with her. The Mr Dolomore in question was a young man of rather offensive type—athletic, dandiacal, and half-educated. It astonished Jasper that his sister could tolerate such an empty creature for a moment; who has not felt the like surprise with regard to women’s inclinations? He talked with Dora about it, but she was not in her sister’s confidence.

Maud wasn't going to get into an argument, and Jasper could only hope that his words would matter to her. The Mr. Dolomore in question was a young man with an off-putting attitude—athletic, stylish, and only somewhat educated. Jasper was shocked that his sister could stand to be around such a shallow person, just like anyone might be surprised by women's choices. He discussed it with Dora, but she didn't know what was going on with her sister.

‘I think you ought to have some influence with her,’ Jasper said.

“I think you should have some influence over her,” Jasper said.

‘Maud won’t allow anyone to interfere in—her private affairs.’

‘Maud won’t let anyone interfere in her private affairs.’

‘It would be unfortunate if she made me quarrel with her.’

‘It would be a shame if she got me to argue with her.’

‘Oh, surely there isn’t any danger of that?’

‘Oh, there can’t possibly be any danger of that?’

‘I don’t know, she mustn’t be obstinate.’

‘I don’t know, she can’t be stubborn.’

Jasper himself saw a good deal of miscellaneous society at this time. He could not work so persistently as usual, and with wise tactics he used the seasons of enforced leisure to extend his acquaintance. Marian and he were together twice a week, in the evening.

Jasper himself was socializing a lot during this time. He couldn’t work as hard as usual, so wisely, he used the forced downtime to meet new people. He and Marian met up two evenings a week.

Of his old Bohemian associates he kept up intimate relations with one only, and that was Whelpdale. This was in a measure obligatory, for Whelpdale frequently came to see him, and it would have been difficult to repel a man who was always making known how highly he esteemed the privilege of Milvain’s friendship, and whose company on the whole was agreeable enough. At the present juncture Whelpdale’s cheery flattery was a distinct assistance; it helped to support Jasper in his self-confidence, and to keep the brightest complexion on the prospect to which he had committed himself.

Whelpdale was the only old Bohemian friend he kept in close touch with. This was partly necessary because Whelpdale often visited him, and it would have been hard to turn away someone who constantly expressed how much he valued Milvain’s friendship, and whose company was generally pleasant. Right now, Whelpdale’s cheerful compliments were really helpful; they boosted Jasper’s self-confidence and helped him maintain a positive outlook on the future he had chosen.

‘Whelpdale is anxious to make Marian’s acquaintance,’ Jasper said to his sisters one day. ‘Shall we have him here tomorrow evening?’

‘Whelpdale is eager to meet Marian,’ Jasper said to his sisters one day. ‘Should we invite him over tomorrow evening?’

‘Just as you like,’ Maud replied.

“Do whichever you prefer,” Maud replied.

‘You won’t object, Dora?’

"Are you okay with this, Dora?"

‘Oh no! I rather like Mr Whelpdale.’

‘Oh no! I actually like Mr. Whelpdale.’

‘If I were to repeat that to him he’d go wild with delight. But don’t be afraid; I shan’t. I’ll ask him to come for an hour, and trust to his discretion not to bore us by staying too long.’

‘If I told him that, he’d be over the moon. But don’t worry; I won’t. I’ll invite him to stay for an hour and rely on his good judgment not to make it too long.’

A note was posted to Whelpdale; he was invited to present himself at eight o’clock, by which time Marian would have arrived. Jasper’s room was to be the scene of the assembly, and punctual to the minute the literary adviser appeared. He was dressed with all the finish his wardrobe allowed, and his face beamed with gratification; it was rapture to him to enter the presence of these three girls, one of whom he had, more suo, held in romantic remembrance since his one meeting with her at Jasper’s old lodgings. His eyes melted with tenderness as he approached Dora and saw her smile of gracious recognition. By Maud he was profoundly impressed. Marian inspired him with no awe, but he fully appreciated the charm of her features and her modest gravity. After all, it was to Dora that his eyes turned again most naturally. He thought her exquisite, and, rather than be long without a glimpse of her, he contented himself with fixing his eyes on the hem of her dress and the boot-toe that occasionally peeped from beneath it.

A note was sent to Whelpdale, inviting him to show up at eight o’clock, by which time Marian would have arrived. Jasper’s room was going to be the gathering place, and right on the dot, the literary adviser showed up. He was dressed as sharply as his wardrobe would allow, and his face was lit up with satisfaction; it delighted him to be in the presence of these three girls, one of whom he had, for his own reasons, held in romantic memory since their only meeting at Jasper’s old place. His eyes softened with affection as he approached Dora and saw her smile of warm recognition. He was deeply impressed by Maud. Marian didn’t intimidate him, but he fully appreciated her lovely features and her quiet seriousness. Still, it was to Dora that his gaze naturally returned. He thought she was stunning, and rather than be away from her for too long, he settled for focusing on the hem of her dress and the tip of her boot that occasionally peeked out from underneath it.

As was to be expected in such a circle, conversation soon turned to the subject of literary struggles.

As was expected in such a group, the conversation quickly shifted to the topic of writing challenges.

‘I always feel it rather humiliating,’ said Jasper, ‘that I have gone through no very serious hardships. It must be so gratifying to say to young fellows who are just beginning:

‘I always find it pretty humiliating,’ said Jasper, ‘that I haven’t faced any serious hardships. It must feel so rewarding to tell young guys who are just starting out:

“Ah, I remember when I was within an ace of starving to death,” and then come out with Grub Street reminiscences of the most appalling kind. Unfortunately, I have always had enough to eat.’

“Ah, I remember when I was just about to starve to death,” and then come out with Grub Street memories of the most shocking kind. Unfortunately, I have always had enough to eat.”

‘I haven’t,’ exclaimed Whelpdale. ‘I have lived for five days on a few cents’ worth of pea-nuts in the States.’

‘I haven’t,’ Whelpdale exclaimed. ‘I’ve lived for five days on a few cents’ worth of peanuts in the States.’

‘What are pea-nuts, Mr Whelpdale?’ asked Dora.

‘What are peanuts, Mr. Whelpdale?’ asked Dora.

Delighted with the question, Whelpdale described that undesirable species of food.

Delighted by the question, Whelpdale described that unwanted type of food.

‘It was in Troy,’ he went on, ‘Troy, N.Y. To think that a man should live on pea-nuts in a town called Troy!’

‘It was in Troy,’ he continued, ‘Troy, N.Y. Can you believe a guy has to survive on peanuts in a town named Troy!’

‘Tell us those adventures,’ cried Jasper. ‘It’s a long time since I heard them, and the girls will enjoy it vastly.’

‘Tell us those adventures,’ Jasper exclaimed. ‘I haven’t heard them in ages, and the girls will love it!’

Dora looked at him with such good-humoured interest that the traveller needed no further persuasion.

Dora looked at him with such cheerful curiosity that the traveler needed no more convincing.

‘It came to pass in those days,’ he began, ‘that I inherited from my godfather a small, a very small, sum of money. I was making strenuous efforts to write for magazines, with absolutely no encouragement. As everybody was talking just then of the Centennial Exhibition at Philadelphia, I conceived the brilliant idea of crossing the Atlantic, in the hope that I might find valuable literary material at the Exhibition—or Exposition, as they called it—and elsewhere. I won’t trouble you with an account of how I lived whilst I still had money; sufficient that no one would accept the articles I sent to England, and that at last I got into perilous straits. I went to New York, and thought of returning home, but the spirit of adventure was strong in me. “I’ll go West,” I said to myself. “There I am bound to find material.” And go I did, taking an emigrant ticket to Chicago. It was December, and I should like you to imagine what a journey of a thousand miles by an emigrant train meant at that season. The cars were deadly cold, and what with that and the hardness of the seats I found it impossible to sleep; it reminded me of tortures I had read about; I thought my brain would have burst with the need of sleeping. At Cleveland, in Ohio, we had to wait several hours in the night; I left the station and wandered about till I found myself on the edge of a great cliff that looked over Lake Erie. A magnificent picture! Brilliant moonlight, and all the lake away to the horizon frozen and covered with snow. The clocks struck two as I stood there.’

‘Back in those days,’ he started, ‘I inherited a small, very small, amount of money from my godfather. I was making a huge effort to write for magazines, but I received absolutely no encouragement. Since everyone was talking about the Centennial Exhibition in Philadelphia, I had the brilliant idea to cross the Atlantic, hoping to find valuable literary material at the Exhibition—or Exposition, as they called it—and elsewhere. I won’t bore you with how I lived while I still had money; it’s enough to say that no one wanted the articles I sent to England, and eventually I found myself in a tough situation. I went to New York and thought about heading back home, but the spirit of adventure was strong in me. “I’ll go West,” I told myself. “There I’m sure to find material.” So off I went, getting an emigrant ticket to Chicago. It was December, and I’d like you to picture what a thousand-mile journey on an emigrant train was like at that time of year. The train cars were freezing cold, and with that and the hardness of the seats, I couldn't sleep at all; it reminded me of tortures I had read about; I thought my brain would explode from the need for sleep. In Cleveland, Ohio, we had to wait several hours in the cold night; I left the station and wandered around until I found myself standing on the edge of a great cliff overlooking Lake Erie. It was a stunning sight! Bright moonlight lit up the entire lake, frozen and covered in snow, all the way to the horizon. The clocks struck two as I stood there.’

He was interrupted by the entrance of a servant who brought coffee.

He was interrupted by a servant who brought in coffee.

‘Nothing could be more welcome,’ cried Dora. ‘Mr Whelpdale makes one feel quite chilly.’

‘Nothing could be more welcome,’ exclaimed Dora. ‘Mr. Whelpdale makes me feel really cold.’

There was laughter and chatting whilst Maud poured out the beverage. Then Whelpdale pursued his narrative.

There was laughter and chatting while Maud poured the drink. Then Whelpdale continued his story.

‘I reached Chicago with not quite five dollars in my pockets, and, with a courage which I now marvel at, I paid immediately four dollars and a half for a week’s board and lodging. “Well,” I said to myself, “for a week I am safe. If I earn nothing in that time, at least I shall owe nothing when I have to turn out into the streets.” It was a rather dirty little boarding-house, in Wabash Avenue, and occupied, as I soon found, almost entirely by actors. There was no fireplace in my bedroom, and if there had been I couldn’t have afforded a fire. But that mattered little; what I had to do was to set forth and discover some way of making money. Don’t suppose that I was in a desperate state of mind; how it was, I don’t quite know, but I felt decidedly cheerful. It was pleasant to be in this new region of the earth, and I went about the town like a tourist who has abundant resources.’

‘I arrived in Chicago with just under five dollars in my pocket, and, with a courage that I now find remarkable, I immediately spent four and a half dollars for a week's room and board. “Well,” I told myself, “I’m set for a week. If I don’t earn anything by then, at least I won’t owe anyone when I have to head out onto the streets.” It was a pretty run-down boarding house on Wabash Avenue, mostly filled with actors, as I soon discovered. There was no fireplace in my room, and even if there had been, I couldn’t have paid for the heat. But that didn’t matter much; what I needed to do was go out and find a way to make some money. Don’t think I was in a desperate mindset; for some reason I felt surprisingly cheerful. It was nice to be in this new part of the world, and I wandered around the city like a tourist with plenty of money.’

He sipped his coffee.

He took a sip of coffee.

‘I saw nothing for it but to apply at the office of some newspaper, and as I happened to light upon the biggest of them first of all, I put on a bold face, marched in, asked if I could see the editor. There was no difficulty whatever about this; I was told to ascend by means of the “elevator” to an upper storey, and there I walked into a comfortable little room where a youngish man sat smoking a cigar at a table covered with print and manuscript. I introduced myself, stated my business. “Can you give me work of any kind on your paper?” “Well, what experience have you had?” “None whatever.” The editor smiled. “I’m very much afraid you would be no use to us. But what do you think you could do?” Well now, there was but one thing that by any possibility I could do. I asked him: “Do you publish any fiction—short stories?” “Yes, we’re always glad of a short story, if it’s good.” This was a big daily paper; they have weekly supplements of all conceivable kinds of matter. “Well,” I said, “if I write a story of English life, will you consider it?” “With pleasure.” I left him, and went out as if my existence were henceforth provided for.’

‘I saw no other option but to apply at a newspaper office, and since I happened to stumble upon the largest one first, I put on a brave face, walked in, and asked if I could see the editor. There was no trouble with that; I was directed to take the elevator to an upper floor, and I entered a cozy little room where a youngish man was sitting at a table filled with print and manuscripts, smoking a cigar. I introduced myself and explained my purpose. “Can you give me any kind of work at your paper?” “Well, what experience do you have?” “None at all.” The editor smiled. “I'm afraid you wouldn't be of much use to us. But what do you think you could do?” Well, there was only one thing I could possibly do. I asked him, “Do you publish any fiction—short stories?” “Yes, we’re always happy to receive a good short story.” This was a major daily newspaper; they had weekly supplements covering all sorts of content. “Well,” I said, “if I write a story about English life, will you consider it?” “With pleasure.” I left him feeling as though my future was secured.’

He laughed heartily, and was joined by his hearers.

He laughed loudly, and the people around him joined in.

‘It was a great thing to be permitted to write a story, but then—what story? I went down to the shore of Lake Michigan; walked there for half an hour in an icy wind. Then I looked for a stationer’s shop, and laid out a few of my remaining cents in the purchase of pen, ink, and paper—my stock of all these things was at an end when I left New York. Then back to the boarding-house. Impossible to write in my bedroom, the temperature was below zero; there was no choice but to sit down in the common room, a place like the smoke-room of a poor commercial hotel in England. A dozen men were gathered about the fire, smoking, talking, quarrelling. Favourable conditions, you see, for literary effort. But the story had to be written, and write it I did, sitting there at the end of a deal table; I finished it in less than a couple of days, a good long story, enough to fill three columns of the huge paper. I stand amazed at my power of concentration as often as I think of it!’

‘It was a great opportunity to be allowed to write a story, but then—what story? I went down to the shore of Lake Michigan and walked there for half an hour in an icy wind. Then I looked for a stationery shop and spent a few of my remaining cents on pen, ink, and paper—my supply of these had run out when I left New York. Then I headed back to the boarding house. It was impossible to write in my bedroom; the temperature was below zero, so I had no choice but to sit in the common room, which was like the smoke room of a cheap commercial hotel in England. A dozen men were gathered around the fire, smoking, talking, and arguing. Not exactly ideal conditions for writing. But the story had to be written, and write it I did, sitting there at the end of a cheap table; I finished it in less than a couple of days, a good long story, enough to fill three columns of the big paper. I’m often amazed at my ability to concentrate when I think about it!’

‘And was it accepted?’ asked Dora.

‘And was it accepted?’ asked Dora.

‘You shall hear. I took my manuscript to the editor, and he told me to come and see him again next morning. I didn’t forget the appointment. As I entered he smiled in a very promising way, and said, “I think your story will do. I’ll put it into the Saturday supplement. Call on Saturday morning and I’ll remunerate you.” How well I remember that word “remunerate”! I have had an affection for the word ever since. And remunerate me he did; scribbled something on a scrap of paper, which I presented to the cashier. The sum was eighteen dollars. Behold me saved!’

‘You’ll see. I took my manuscript to the editor, and he asked me to come back the next morning. I didn’t forget the appointment. When I walked in, he smiled in a really encouraging way and said, “I think your story will work. I’ll include it in the Saturday supplement. Come by on Saturday morning and I’ll pay you.” I remember that word “pay” so well! I’ve liked the word ever since. And pay me he did; he scribbled something on a piece of paper, which I gave to the cashier. The amount was eighteen dollars. Look at me, saved!’

He sipped his coffee again.

He took another sip of coffee.

‘I have never come across an English editor who treated me with anything like that consideration and general kindliness. How the man had time, in his position, to see me so often, and do things in such a human way, I can’t understand. Imagine anyone trying the same at the office of a London newspaper! To begin with, one couldn’t see the editor at all. I shall always think with profound gratitude of that man with the peaked brown beard and pleasant smile.’

‘I’ve never met an English editor who treated me with that kind of consideration and kindness. I can’t understand how he found the time, given his role, to meet with me so often and act in such a human way. Can you imagine anyone trying that at a London newspaper office? For starters, you wouldn’t even be able to see the editor. I’ll always remember with deep gratitude that man with the pointed brown beard and nice smile.’

‘But did the pea-nuts come after that!’ inquired Dora.

‘But did the peanuts come after that!’ asked Dora.

‘Alas! they did. For some months I supported myself in Chicago, writing for that same paper, and for others. But at length the flow of my inspiration was checked; I had written myself out. And I began to grow home-sick, wanted to get back to England. The result was that I found myself one day in New York again, but without money enough to pay for a passage home. I tried to write one more story. But it happened, as I was looking over newspapers in a reading-room, that I saw one of my Chicago tales copied into a paper published at Troy. Now Troy was not very far off; and it occurred to me that, if I went there, the editor of this paper might be disposed to employ me, seeing he had a taste for my fiction. And I went, up the Hudson by steamboat. On landing at Troy I was as badly off as when I reached Chicago; I had less than a dollar. And the worst of it was I had come on a vain errand; the editor treated me with scant courtesy, and no work was to be got. I took a little room, paying for it day by day, and in the meantime I fed on those loathsome pea-nuts, buying a handful in the street now and then. And I assure you I looked starvation in the face.’

‘Unfortunately, they did. For several months, I supported myself in Chicago, writing for that same paper and others. But eventually, my creativity dried up; I had run out of things to say. I started feeling homesick and wanted to return to England. As a result, one day, I found myself in New York again, but without enough money for a ticket home. I attempted to write one more story. While browsing newspapers in a reading room, I noticed one of my Chicago stories published in a paper in Troy. Now, Troy wasn’t very far away, and it occurred to me that if I went there, the editor of this paper might want to hire me since he seemed to like my writing. So I took a steamboat up the Hudson. Upon arriving in Troy, I was in as bad a situation as when I reached Chicago; I had less than a dollar. The worst part was that I had come on a fool's errand; the editor treated me with little respect, and there was no work to be found. I rented a small room on a daily basis and in the meantime, I survived on those awful peanuts, buying a handful on the street every now and then. I can assure you that I was staring starvation in the face.’

‘What sort of a town is Troy?’ asked Marian, speaking for the first time.

‘What kind of town is Troy?’ Marian asked, speaking for the first time.

‘Don’t ask me. They make straw hats there principally, and they sell pea-nuts. More I remember not.’

‘Don’t ask me. They mainly make straw hats there, and they sell peanuts. That’s all I remember.’

‘But you didn’t starve to death,’ said Maud.

‘But you didn’t die of starvation,’ Maud said.

‘No, I just didn’t. I went one afternoon into a lawyer’s office, thinking I might get some copying work, and there I found an odd-looking old man, sitting with an open Bible on his knees. He explained to me that he wasn’t the lawyer; that the lawyer was away on business, and that he was just guarding the office. Well, could he help me? He meditated, and a thought occurred to him. “Go,” he said, “to such-and-such a boarding-house, and ask for Mr Freeman Sterling. He is just starting on a business tour, and wants a young man to accompany him.” I didn’t dream of asking what the business was, but sped, as fast as my trembling limbs would carry me, to the address he had mentioned. I asked for Mr Freeman Sterling, and found him. He was a photographer, and his business at present was to go about getting orders for the reproducing of old portraits. A good-natured young fellow. He said he liked the look of me, and on the spot engaged me to assist him in a house-to-house visitation. He would pay for my board and lodging, and give me a commission on all the orders I obtained. Forthwith I sat down to a “square meal,” and ate—my conscience, how I ate!’

‘No, I just didn’t. One afternoon, I walked into a lawyer’s office, thinking I might find some copying work, and I came across a strange old man sitting with an open Bible on his lap. He told me he wasn’t the lawyer; the lawyer was away on business, and he was just there to watch over the office. I asked if he could help me. He thought for a moment and then said, “Go to this boarding house, and ask for Mr. Freeman Sterling. He’s about to go on a business trip and is looking for someone to join him.” I didn’t even think about asking what the business was, but I rushed over to the address he gave me as fast as my shaking legs could carry me. I asked for Mr Freeman Sterling and found him. He was a photographer, and his current job was going around getting orders for reproducing old portraits. A nice young guy. He said he liked my vibe and immediately hired me to help him with door-to-door visits. He would pay for my meals and accommodation, plus give me a commission on all the orders I got. Right away, I sat down to a “square meal” and ate—oh my goodness, how I ate!’

‘You were not eminently successful in that pursuit, I think?’ said Jasper.

'You weren't very successful in that pursuit, were you?' said Jasper.

‘I don’t think I got half-a-dozen orders. Yet that good Samaritan supported me for five or six weeks, whilst we travelled from Troy to Boston. It couldn’t go on; I was ashamed of myself; at last I told him that we must part. Upon my word, I believe he would have paid my expenses for another month; why, I can’t understand. But he had a vast respect for me because I had written in newspapers, and I do seriously think that he didn’t like to tell me I was a useless fellow. We parted on the very best of terms in Boston.’

'I don’t think I received more than half a dozen orders. Yet that good Samaritan supported me for five or six weeks while we traveled from Troy to Boston. It couldn’t continue; I was embarrassed about it. Eventually, I told him we needed to go our separate ways. Honestly, I think he would have covered my expenses for another month; I don’t get why. But he had a lot of respect for me because I had written for newspapers, and I genuinely believe he didn’t want to tell me I was useless. We parted on the very best of terms in Boston.'

‘And you again had recourse to pea-nuts?’ asked Dora.

‘Did you really resort to peanuts again?’ asked Dora.

‘Well, no. In the meantime I had written to someone in England, begging the loan of just enough money to enable me to get home. The money came a day after I had seen Sterling off by train.’

‘Well, no. In the meantime, I had written to someone in England, asking to borrow just enough money to get home. The money arrived a day after I had seen Sterling off by train.’

An hour and a half quickly passed, and Jasper, who wished to have a few minutes of Marian’s company before it was time for her to go, cast a significant glance at his sisters. Dora said innocently:

An hour and a half flew by, and Jasper, wanting to spend a few minutes with Marian before she had to leave, gave his sisters a meaningful look. Dora said playfully:

‘You wished me to tell you when it was half-past nine, Marian.’

"You asked me to let you know when it was half-past nine, Marian."

And Marian rose. This was a signal Whelpdale could not disregard. Immediately he made ready for his own departure, and in less than five minutes was gone, his face at the last moment expressing blended delight and pain.

And Marian got up. This was a signal Whelpdale couldn't ignore. Right away, he prepared to leave and was gone in less than five minutes, his face at the last moment showing a mix of happiness and sadness.

‘Too good of you to have asked me to come,’ he said with gratitude to Jasper, who went to the door with him. ‘You are a happy man, by Jove! A happy man!’

‘It’s so nice of you to invite me,’ he said gratefully to Jasper, who accompanied him to the door. ‘You’re a lucky guy, really! A lucky guy!’

When Jasper returned to the room his sisters had vanished. Marian stood by the fire. He drew near to her, took her hands, and repeated laughingly Whelpdale’s last words.

When Jasper got back to the room, his sisters were gone. Marian was standing by the fire. He approached her, took her hands, and playfully repeated Whelpdale’s last words.

‘Is it true?’ she asked.

"Is that true?" she asked.

‘Tolerably true, I think.’

"Pretty true, I think."

‘Then I am as happy as you are.’

‘Then I’m as happy as you are.’

He released her hands, and moved a little apart.

He let go of her hands and stepped back a bit.

‘Marian, I have been thinking about that letter to your father. I had better get it written, don’t you think?’

‘Marian, I’ve been thinking about that letter to your dad. I should probably get it written, what do you think?’

She gazed at him with troubled eyes.

She looked at him with worried eyes.

‘Perhaps you had. Though we said it might be delayed until—’

‘Maybe you did. But we mentioned it could be postponed until—’

‘Yes, I know. But I suspect you had rather I didn’t wait any longer. Isn’t that the truth?’

‘Yes, I know. But I think you'd prefer if I didn't wait any longer. Isn’t that right?’

‘Partly. Do just as you wish, Jasper.’

‘Partly. Do whatever you want, Jasper.’

‘I’ll go and see him, if you like.’

‘I’ll go see him, if you want.’

‘I am so afraid—No, writing will be better.’

‘I’m so scared—No, writing will help.’

‘Very well. Then he shall have the letter to-morrow afternoon.’

‘Okay. Then he will get the letter tomorrow afternoon.’

‘Don’t let it come before the last post. I had so much rather not. Manage it, if you can.’

‘Don’t let it happen before the last post. I’d much rather not. Handle it, if you can.’

‘Very well. Now go and say good-night to the girls. It’s a vile night, and you must get home as soon as possible.’

‘Alright. Now go and say goodnight to the girls. It’s a terrible night, and you need to get home as soon as you can.’

She turned away, but again came towards him, murmuring:

She turned away but then moved back toward him, murmuring:

‘Just a word or two more.’

‘Just a word or two more.’

‘About the letter?’

'About the letter?'

‘No. You haven’t said—’

“No. You didn’t say—”

He laughed.

He chuckled.

‘And you couldn’t go away contentedly unless I repeated for the hundredth time that I love you?’

‘And you couldn’t leave happily unless I said once again that I love you?’

Marian searched his countenance.

Marian examined his face.

‘Do you think it foolish? I live only on those words.’

‘Do you think that's silly? I only survive on those words.’

‘Well, they are better than pea-nuts.’

‘Well, they’re better than nuts.’

‘Oh don’t! I can’t bear to—’

‘Oh no! I can’t handle—’

Jasper was unable to understand that such a jest sounded to her like profanity. She hid her face against him, and whispered the words that would have enraptured her had they but come from his lips. The young man found it pleasant enough to be worshipped, but he could not reply as she desired. A few phrases of tenderness, and his love-vocabulary was exhausted; he even grew weary when something more—the indefinite something—was vaguely required of him.

Jasper couldn't grasp that such a joke sounded to her like swearing. She buried her face against him and whispered the words that would have thrilled her if they had come from him. The young man enjoyed being admired, but he couldn't respond in the way she wanted. A few sweet words were all he had, and he felt drained when something more—some unclear expectation—was vaguely asked of him.

‘You are a dear, good, tender-hearted girl,’ he said, stroking her short, soft hair, which was exquisite to the hand. ‘Now go and get ready.’

‘You are a sweet, kind, and compassionate girl,’ he said, gently running his fingers through her short, soft hair, which felt wonderful to the touch. ‘Now go and get ready.’

She left him, but stood for a few moments on the landing before going to the girls’ room.

She left him but paused for a few moments on the landing before heading to the girls' room.





CHAPTER XXIX. CATASTROPHE

Marian had finished the rough draft of a paper on James Harrington, author of ‘Oceana.’ Her father went through it by the midnight lamp, and the next morning made his comments. A black sky and sooty rain strengthened his inclination to sit by the study fire and talk at large in a tone of flattering benignity.

Marian had completed the rough draft of a paper on James Harrington, the author of 'Oceana.' Her father reviewed it by the light of a midnight lamp, and the next morning shared his feedback. A dark sky and dreary rain made him more eager to sit by the fire in the study and chat in a pleasantly flattering tone.

‘Those paragraphs on the Rota Club strike me as singularly happy,’ he said, tapping the manuscript with the mouthpiece of his pipe. ‘Perhaps you might say a word or two more about Cyriac Skinner; one mustn’t be too allusive with general readers, their ignorance is incredible. But there is so little to add to this paper—so little to alter—that I couldn’t feel justified in sending it as my own work. I think it is altogether too good to appear anonymously. You must sign it, Marian, and have the credit that is due to you.’

‘Those paragraphs about the Rota Club really stand out,’ he said, tapping the manuscript with the end of his pipe. ‘Maybe you could say a bit more about Cyriac Skinner; you can’t be too vague with general readers, their ignorance is shocking. But there’s so little to add to this piece—so little to change—that I don’t feel right sending it out as my own work. I think it’s way too good to be published anonymously. You have to sign it, Marian, and get the credit you deserve.’

‘Oh, do you think it’s worth while?’ answered the girl, who was far from easy under this praise. Of late there had been too much of it; it made her regard her father with suspicions which increased her sense of trouble in keeping a momentous secret from him.

‘Oh, do you think it’s worth it?’ replied the girl, who was far from comfortable with the compliment. Recently, there had been too much of it; it made her look at her father with doubts, which heightened her sense of unease about keeping an important secret from him.

‘Yes, yes; you had better sign it. I’ll undertake there’s no other girl of your age who could turn out such a piece of work. I think we may fairly say that your apprenticeship is at an end. Before long,’ he smiled anxiously, ‘I may be counting upon you as a valued contributor. And that reminds me; would you be disposed to call with me on the Jedwoods at their house next Sunday?’

‘Yes, yes; you should definitely sign it. I’m sure there’s no other girl your age who could create such a piece of work. I think it's safe to say your apprenticeship is over. Soon,’ he smiled nervously, ‘I might be counting on you as a valuable contributor. And that reminds me; would you be willing to join me in visiting the Jedwoods at their house next Sunday?’

Marian understood the intention that lay beneath this proposal. She saw that her father would not allow himself to seem discouraged by the silence she maintained on the great subject which awaited her decision. He was endeavouring gradually to involve her in his ambitions, to carry her forward by insensible steps. It pained her to observe the suppressed eagerness with which he looked for her reply.

Marian understood the intention behind this proposal. She realized that her father wasn't going to let himself appear discouraged by the silence she kept on the significant choice that awaited her decision. He was trying to gradually引导 her into his ambitions, to move her forward in small, unnoticed steps. It hurt her to see the restrained eagerness with which he awaited her response.

‘I will go if you wish, father, but I had rather not.’

‘I will go if you want, Dad, but I’d prefer not to.’

‘I feel sure you would like Mrs Jedwood. One has no great opinion of her novels, but she is a woman of some intellect. Let me book you for next Sunday; surely I have a claim to your companionship now and then.’

‘I’m sure you’d like Mrs. Jedwood. I don’t think much of her novels, but she’s an intelligent woman. Let me reserve you for next Sunday; I definitely have a right to your company every now and then.’

Marian kept silence. Yule puffed at his pipe, then said with a speculative air:

Marian stayed quiet. Yule took a puff from his pipe and then said with a thoughtful look:

‘I suppose it has never even occurred to you to try your hand at fiction?’

‘I guess it never even crossed your mind to give fiction a shot?’

‘I haven’t the least inclination that way.’

‘I have no interest in that at all.’

‘You would probably do something rather good if you tried. But I don’t urge it. My own efforts in that line were a mistake, I’m disposed to think. Not that the things were worse than multitudes of books which nowadays go down with the many-headed. But I never quite knew what I wished to be at in fiction. I wasn’t content to write a mere narrative of the exciting kind, yet I couldn’t hit upon subjects of intellectual cast that altogether satisfied me. Well, well; I have tried my hand at most kinds of literature. Assuredly I merit the title of man of letters.’

"You'd probably do something pretty good if you gave it a shot. But I’m not pushing you to do it. I think my own attempts in that area were a mistake. Not that what I wrote was worse than a lot of books that are popular today. I just never really knew what I wanted to achieve in fiction. I wasn't satisfied with just writing an exciting story, but I couldn't find intellectually stimulating topics that truly fulfilled me. Anyway, I've tried my hand at most types of literature. I definitely deserve the title of a writer."

‘You certainly do.’

"You definitely do."

‘By-the-by, what should you think of that title for a review—Letters? It has never been used, so far as I know. I like the word “letters.” How much better “a man of letters” than “a literary man”! And apropos of that, when was the word “literature” first used in our modern sense to signify a body of writing? In Johnson’s day it was pretty much the equivalent of our “culture.” You remember his saying, “It is surprising how little literature people have.” His dictionary, I believe, defines the word as “learning, skill in letters”—nothing else.’

‘By the way, what do you think about that title for a review—Letters? It hasn’t been used, as far as I know. I really like the word “letters.” It sounds much better to say “a man of letters” than “a literary man”! Speaking of that, when was the word “literature” first used in our modern sense to refer to a body of writing? Back in Johnson’s time, it was mostly equivalent to what we call “culture.” You remember his quote, “It is surprising how little literature people have.” I think his dictionary defines the word as “learning, skill in letters”—nothing more.’

It was characteristic of Yule to dwell with gusto on little points such as this; he prosed for a quarter of an hour, with a pause every now and then whilst he kept his pipe alight.

It was typical of Yule to enthusiastically focus on small details like this; he rambled on for fifteen minutes, taking breaks now and then to keep his pipe lit.

‘I think Letters wouldn’t be amiss,’ he said at length, returning to the suggestion which he wished to keep before Marian’s mind. ‘It would clearly indicate our scope. No articles on bimetallism, as Quarmby said—wasn’t it Quarmby?’

"I think letters would be a good idea," he said after a pause, bringing back the suggestion he wanted to keep in Marian's mind. "It would clearly show what we’re about. No articles on bimetallism, like Quarmby said—wasn’t it Quarmby?"

He laughed idly.

He laughed casually.

‘Yes, I must ask Jedwood how he likes the name.’

'Yes, I need to ask Jedwood what he thinks of the name.'

Though Marian feared the result, she was glad when Jasper made up his mind to write to her father. Since it was determined that her money could not be devoted to establishing a review, the truth ought to be confessed before Yule had gone too far in nursing his dangerous hope. Without the support of her love and all the prospects connected with it, she would hardly have been capable of giving a distinct refusal when her reply could no longer be postponed; to hold the money merely for her own benefit would have seemed to her too selfish, however slight her faith in the project on which her father built so exultantly. When it was declared that she had accepted an offer of marriage, a sacrifice of that kind could no longer be expected of her. Opposition must direct itself against the choice she had made. It would be stern, perhaps relentless; but she felt able to face any extremity of wrath. Her nerves quivered, but in her heart was an exhaustless source of courage.

Though Marian was worried about the outcome, she felt relieved when Jasper decided to write to her father. Since it was clear that her money couldn’t be used to start a review, the truth needed to be revealed before Yule got too deep into his dangerous hopes. Without the support of her love and everything that came with it, she would hardly have been able to give a firm no when she could no longer delay her response; keeping the money just for her own benefit would have felt too selfish, no matter how little faith she had in the project her father was so excited about. Once it was announced that she had accepted a marriage proposal, expecting such a sacrifice from her was no longer fair. Opposition had to focus on the choice she had made. It might be harsh, maybe even unforgiving; but she felt ready to face any level of anger. Her nerves were on edge, but deep inside her was an endless well of courage.

That a change had somehow come about in the girl Yule was aware. He observed her with the closest study day after day. Her health seemed to have improved; after a long spell of work she had not the air of despondent weariness which had sometimes irritated him, sometimes made him uneasy. She was more womanly in her bearing and speech, and exercised an independence, appropriate indeed to her years, but such as had not formerly declared itself. The question with her father was whether these things resulted simply from her consciousness of possessing what to her seemed wealth, or something else had happened of the nature that he dreaded. An alarming symptom was the increased attention she paid to her personal appearance; its indications were not at all prominent, but Yule, on the watch for such things, did not overlook them. True, this also might mean nothing but a sense of relief from narrow means; a girl would naturally adorn herself a little under the circumstances.

Yule noticed that a change had definitely taken place in the girl. He observed her closely day after day. Her health seemed to have improved; after a long day of work, she no longer looked so tired and defeated, which had sometimes annoyed him and sometimes made him feel uneasy. She was more confident in her actions and words, and she showed an independence that, while fitting for her age, hadn’t been evident before. Yule wondered if these changes were simply because she felt she had what she considered wealth, or if something else had happened that he feared. A worrying sign was her increased focus on her appearance; the signs were subtle, but Yule, always alert to such changes, noticed them. Of course, this might simply indicate she felt relieved from financial stress; a girl would naturally want to make herself look nicer under those circumstances.

His doubts came to an end two days after that proposal of a title for the new review. As he sat in his study the servant brought him a letter delivered by the last evening post. The handwriting was unknown to him; the contents were these:

His doubts disappeared two days after the suggestion for a name for the new review. While he was sitting in his study, the servant brought him a letter delivered by the last evening mail. He didn’t recognize the handwriting; the contents were as follows:

‘DEAR MR YULE,—It is my desire to write to you with perfect frankness and as simply as I can on a subject which has the deepest interest for me, and which I trust you will consider in that spirit of kindness with which you received me when we first met at Finden.

‘DEAR MR YULE,—I want to write to you honestly and as straightforwardly as possible about a topic that matters a lot to me, and I hope you will approach it with the same kindness you showed me when we first met at Finden.

‘On the occasion of that meeting I had the happiness of being presented to Miss Yule. She was not totally a stranger to me; at that time I used to work pretty regularly in the Museum Reading-room, and there I had seen Miss Yule, had ventured to observe her at moments with a young man’s attention, and had felt my interest aroused, though I did not know her name. To find her at Finden seemed to me a very unusual and delightful piece of good fortune.

‘At that meeting, I was lucky enough to be introduced to Miss Yule. She wasn’t completely unfamiliar to me; I had been working fairly regularly in the Museum Reading-room, and there I had seen Miss Yule, often observing her with the curiosity of a young man, which sparked my interest, even though I didn't know her name. Discovering her at Finden felt like a rare and wonderful stroke of luck.

When I came back from my holiday I was conscious of a new purpose in life, a new desire and a new motive to help me on in my chosen career.

When I returned from my vacation, I felt a new sense of purpose, a fresh desire, and a new motivation to support me in my chosen career.

‘My mother’s death led to my sisters’ coming to live in London. Already there had been friendly correspondence between Miss Yule and the two girls, and now that the opportunity offered they began to see each other frequently. As I was often at my sisters’ lodgings it came about that I met Miss Yule there from time to time. In this way was confirmed my attachment to your daughter. The better I knew her, the more worthy I found her of reverence and love.

‘My mother’s passing resulted in my sisters moving to London. There had already been friendly communication between Miss Yule and the two girls, and now that the chance arose, they started seeing each other often. Since I spent a lot of time at my sisters’ place, I ended up meeting Miss Yule there from time to time. This is how my feelings for your daughter grew stronger. The more I got to know her, the more I recognized how deserving she was of respect and love.

‘Would it not have been natural for me to seek a renewal of the acquaintance with yourself which had been begun in the country? Gladly I should have done so. Before my sisters’ coming to London I did call one day at your house with the desire of seeing you, but unfortunately you were not at home. Very soon after that I learnt to my extreme regret that my connection with The Current and its editor would make any repetition of my visit very distasteful to you. I was conscious of nothing in my literary life that could justly offend you—and at this day I can say the same—but I shrank from the appearance of importunity, and for some months I was deeply distressed by the fear that what I most desired in life had become unattainable. My means were very slight; I had no choice but to take such work as offered, and mere chance had put me into a position which threatened ruin to the hope that you would some day regard me as a not unworthy suitor for your daughter’s hand.

‘Wouldn’t it have been natural for me to try to reconnect with you after our initial meeting in the country? I would have been happy to do so. Before my sisters came to London, I stopped by your house one day hoping to see you, but unfortunately, you weren’t home. Shortly after that, I found out with great regret that my connection to The Current and its editor would make any return visit very unwelcome to you. I was unaware of anything in my professional life that could rightly offend you—and I can still say that today—but I hesitated to appear too pushy, and for several months, I was deeply troubled by the fear that what I most wanted in life had become impossible. My resources were very limited; I had no choice but to take whatever work came my way, and sheer luck had placed me in a situation that threatened the hope that you might someday see me as a suitable candidate for your daughter’s hand.’

‘Circumstances have led me to a step which at that time seemed impossible. Having discovered that Miss Yule returned the feeling I entertained for her, I have asked her to be my wife, and she has consented. It is now my hope that you will permit me to call upon you. Miss Yule is aware that I am writing this letter; will you not let her plead for me, seeing that only by an unhappy chance have I been kept aloof from you? Marian and I are equally desirous that you should approve our union; without that approval, indeed, something will be lacking to the happiness for which we hope.

‘Circumstances have led me to take a step that felt impossible at the time. Having found out that Miss Yule shares my feelings for her, I asked her to marry me, and she agreed. I hope that you will allow me to visit you. Miss Yule knows that I am writing this letter; would you not let her advocate for me, considering that I’ve been kept away from you due to unfortunate circumstances? Marian and I both want your approval of our union; without it, something will be missing from the happiness we hope to achieve.

‘Believe me to be sincerely yours,

‘Believe me to be sincerely yours,

‘JASPER MILVAIN.’

'Jasper Milvain.'

Half an hour after reading this Yule was roused from a fit of the gloomiest brooding by Marian’s entrance. She came towards him timidly, with pale countenance. He had glanced round to see who it was, but at once turned his head again.

Half an hour after reading this, Yule was pulled out of his darkest thoughts by Marian’s arrival. She approached him hesitantly, looking pale. He had turned his head to see who it was, but quickly looked away again.

‘Will you forgive me for keeping this secret from you, father?’

‘Will you forgive me for keeping this secret from you, Dad?’

‘Forgive you?’ he replied in a hard, deliberate voice. ‘I assure you it is a matter of perfect indifference to me. You are long since of age, and I have no power whatever to prevent your falling a victim to any schemer who takes your fancy. It would be folly in me to discuss the question. I recognise your right to have as many secrets as may seem good to you. To talk of forgiveness is the merest affectation.’

‘Forgive you?’ he replied in a cold, intentional tone. ‘Honestly, it means nothing to me. You're well past the age of being told what to do, and I have no authority to stop you from getting involved with any con artist who catches your eye. It would be foolish for me to discuss this. I understand you have every right to keep as many secrets as you want. Talking about forgiveness is just a pretentious gesture.’

‘No, I spoke sincerely. If it had seemed possible I should gladly have let you know about this from the first. That would have been natural and right. But you know what prevented me.’

‘No, I spoke honestly. If it had seemed possible, I would have happily let you know about this from the beginning. That would have been natural and right. But you know what stopped me.’

‘I do. I will try to hope that even a sense of shame had something to do with it.’

'I do. I’ll try to hope that even a sense of shame played a part in it.'

‘That had nothing to do with it,’ said Marian, coldly. ‘I have never had reason to feel ashamed.’

‘That had nothing to do with it,’ Marian said coldly. ‘I’ve never had a reason to feel ashamed.’

‘Be it so. I trust you may never have reason to feel repentance. May I ask when you propose to be married?’

‘Alright then. I hope you never have to feel regret. Can I ask when you plan to get married?’

‘I don’t know when it will take place.’

‘I don’t know when it will happen.’

‘As soon, I suppose, as your uncle’s executors have discharged a piece of business which is distinctly germane to the matter?’

‘As soon as, I guess, your uncle’s executors have taken care of a task that’s directly related to this issue?’

‘Perhaps.’

"Maybe."

‘Does your mother know?’

"Does your mom know?"

‘I have just told her.’

"I just told her."

‘Very well, then it seems to me that there’s nothing more to be said.’

‘Alright, then it looks like there's nothing more to discuss.’

‘Do you refuse to see Mr Milvain?’

‘Do you refuse to see Mr. Milvain?’

‘Most decidedly I do. You will have the goodness to inform him that that is my reply to his letter.’

‘Absolutely, I do. Please let him know that is my response to his letter.’

‘I don’t think that is the behaviour of a gentleman,’ said Marian, her eyes beginning to gleam with resentment.

‘I don’t think that’s the behavior of a gentleman,’ said Marian, her eyes starting to shine with resentment.

‘I am obliged to you for your instruction.’

'Thanks for your guidance.'

‘Will you tell me, father, in plain words, why you dislike Mr Milvain?’

‘Can you tell me, Dad, in simple terms, why you don't like Mr. Milvain?’

‘I am not inclined to repeat what I have already fruitlessly told you. For the sake of a clear understanding, however, I will let you know the practical result of my dislike. From the day of your marriage with that man you are nothing to me. I shall distinctly forbid you to enter my house. You make your choice, and go your own way. I shall hope never to see your face again.’

‘I’m not going to repeat what I’ve already told you without any result. But to be clear, I want you to know the real consequence of my feelings. From the day you marry that man, you’re nothing to me. I’ll specifically forbid you from entering my house. You’ve made your choice, so go your own way. I hope I never have to see you again.’

Their eyes met, and the look of each seemed to fascinate the other.

Their eyes locked, and the gaze from each seemed to captivate the other.

‘If you have made up your mind to that,’ said Marian in a shaking voice, ‘I can remain here no longer. Such words are senselessly cruel. To-morrow I shall leave the house.’

‘If you’re set on that,’ said Marian, her voice trembling, ‘I can’t stay here any longer. That kind of talk is just cruel. Tomorrow I’m leaving the house.’

‘I repeat that you are of age, and perfectly independent. It can be nothing to me how soon you go. You have given proof that I am of less than no account to you, and doubtless the sooner we cease to afflict each other the better.’

‘I repeat that you are an adult and completely independent. It doesn’t matter to me how soon you leave. You’ve shown that I mean less than nothing to you, and it’s probably best that we stop bothering each other as soon as possible.’

It seemed as if the effect of these conflicts with her father were to develop in Marian a vehemence of temper which at length matched that of which Yule was the victim. Her face, outlined to express a gentle gravity, was now haughtily passionate; nostrils and lips thrilled with wrath, and her eyes were magnificent in their dark fieriness.

It was as if the impact of these arguments with her father was making Marian develop a fiery temper that eventually matched Yule's suffering. Her face, which had once expressed a gentle seriousness, now showed a proud intensity; her nostrils and lips quivered with anger, and her eyes shone brilliantly with dark passion.

‘You shall not need to tell me that again,’ she answered, and immediately left him.

‘You don’t need to say that to me again,’ she replied, and immediately left him.

She went into the sitting-room, where Mrs Yule was awaiting the result of the interview.

She walked into the living room, where Mrs. Yule was waiting for the results of the interview.

‘Mother,’ she said, with stern gentleness, ‘this house can no longer be a home for me. I shall go away to-morrow, and live in lodgings until the time of my marriage.’

‘Mom,’ she said, with a strict yet gentle tone, ‘this house can no longer be my home. I’m leaving tomorrow and will stay in a place of my own until my wedding.’

Mrs Yule uttered a cry of pain, and started up.

Mrs. Yule let out a cry of pain and jumped up.

‘Oh, don’t do that, Marian! What has he said to you? Come and talk to me, darling—tell me what he’s said—don’t look like that!’

‘Oh, don’t do that, Marian! What did he say to you? Come and talk to me, darling—tell me what he said—don’t look like that!’

She clung to the girl despairingly, terrified by a transformation she would have thought impossible.

She held onto the girl desperately, afraid of a change she would have thought was impossible.

‘He says that if I marry Mr Milvain he hopes never to see my face again. I can’t stay here. You shall come and see me, and we will be the same to each other as always. But father has treated me too unjustly. I can’t live near him after this.’

‘He says that if I marry Mr. Milvain, he hopes never to see me again. I can’t stay here. You can come and see me, and we’ll be just like we always were. But my dad has been too unfair to me. I can’t live close to him after this.’

‘He doesn’t mean it,’ sobbed her mother. ‘He says what he’s sorry for as soon as the words are spoken. He loves you too much, my darling, to drive you away like that. It’s his disappointment, Marian; that’s all it is. He counted on it so much. I’ve heard him talk of it in his sleep; he made so sure that he was going to have that new magazine, and the disappointment makes him that he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Only wait and see; he’ll tell you he didn’t mean it, I know he will. Only leave him alone till he’s had time to get over it. Do forgive him this once.’

‘He doesn’t mean it,’ her mother cried. ‘He apologizes as soon as he says those things. He cares about you too much, my darling, to push you away like that. It’s just his disappointment, Marian; that’s all it is. He was really counting on it. I’ve heard him talk about it in his sleep; he was so sure he was going to get that new magazine, and the disappointment is making him say things he doesn’t mean. Just wait and see; he’ll tell you he didn’t mean it, I know he will. Just give him some space until he’s had time to process it. Please forgive him this one time.’

‘It’s like a madman to talk in that way,’ said the girl, releasing herself. ‘Whatever his disappointment, I can’t endure it. I have worked hard for him, very hard, ever since I was old enough, and he owes me some kindness, some respect. It would be different if he had the least reason for his hatred of Jasper. It is nothing but insensate prejudice, the result of his quarrels with other people. What right has he to insult me by representing my future husband as a scheming hypocrite?’

‘It’s insane to talk like that,’ the girl said, breaking free. ‘No matter what his issue is, I can’t put up with it. I’ve put in so much effort for him, really, ever since I was old enough, and he owes me some kindness, some respect. It would be different if he had even the slightest reason for his hatred of Jasper. It’s just blind prejudice, stemming from his conflicts with other people. What right does he have to insult me by painting my future husband as a scheming hypocrite?’

‘My love, he has had so much to bear—it’s made him so quick-tempered.’

‘My love, he has had so much to deal with—it’s made him so quick to anger.’

‘Then I am quick-tempered too, and the sooner we are apart the better, as he said himself.’

‘Then I have a short temper too, and the sooner we separate the better, as he said himself.’

‘Oh, but you have always been such a patient girl.’

'Oh, but you've always been such a patient girl.'

‘My patience is at an end when I am treated as if I had neither rights nor feelings. However wrong the choice I had made, this was not the way to behave to me. His disappointment? Is there a natural law, then, that a daughter must be sacrificed to her father? My husband will have as much need of that money as my father has, and he will be able to make far better use of it. It was wrong even to ask me to give my money away like that. I have a right to happiness, as well as other women.’

‘My patience is gone when I'm treated as if I have no rights or feelings. No matter how bad my choice was, this isn’t how you should treat me. His disappointment? Is there a law that says a daughter has to be sacrificed for her father? My husband needs that money just as much as my father does, and he would use it much better. It was wrong even to ask me to give my money away like that. I deserve to be happy, just like any other woman.’

She was shaken with hysterical passion, the natural consequence of this outbreak in a nature such as hers. Her mother, in the meantime, grew stronger by force of profound love that at length had found its opportunity of expression. Presently she persuaded Marian to come upstairs with her, and before long the overburdened breast was relieved by a flow of tears. But Marian’s purpose remained unshaken.

She was overwhelmed with intense emotion, a natural reaction for someone like her. Meanwhile, her mother became stronger from the deep love that had finally found a way to be expressed. Soon, she convinced Marian to come upstairs with her, and before long, the heavy burden in her heart was eased by a wave of tears. But Marian’s resolve stayed firm.

‘It is impossible for us to see each other day after day,’ she said when calmer. ‘He can’t control his anger against me, and I suffer too much when I am made to feel like this. I shall take a lodging not far off; where you can see me often.’

‘It’s impossible for us to see each other every day,’ she said when she felt calmer. ‘He can’t manage his anger towards me, and it hurts me too much when I feel like this. I’ll get a place nearby so you can visit me often.’

‘But you have no money, Marian,’ replied Mrs Yule, miserably.

‘But you don’t have any money, Marian,’ Mrs. Yule replied, sadly.

‘No money? As if I couldn’t borrow a few pounds until all my own comes to me! Dora Milvain can lend me all I shall want; it won’t make the least difference to her. I must have my money very soon now.’

‘No money? As if I couldn’t borrow a few pounds until my own comes through! Dora Milvain can lend me all I’ll need; it won’t make any difference to her. I have to get my money really soon now.’

At about half-past eleven Mrs Yule went downstairs, and entered the study.

At around 11:30, Mrs. Yule went downstairs and entered the study.

‘If you are coming to speak about Marian,’ said her husband, turning upon her with savage eyes, ‘you can save your breath. I won’t hear her name mentioned.’

‘If you’re here to talk about Marian,’ her husband said, turning to her with fierce eyes, ‘you can save your breath. I won’t listen to her name being mentioned.’

She faltered, but overcame her weakness.

She hesitated, but pushed through her weakness.

‘You are driving her away from us, Alfred. It isn’t right! Oh, it isn’t right!’

‘You’re pushing her away from us, Alfred. It’s not fair! Oh, it’s not fair!’

‘If she didn’t go I should, so understand that! And if I go, you have seen the last of me. Make your choice, make your choice!’

‘If she doesn’t go, then I will, so keep that in mind! And if I go, you’ll have seen the last of me. Make your choice, make your choice!’

He had yielded himself to that perverse frenzy which impels a man to acts and utterances most wildly at conflict with reason. His sense of the monstrous irrationality to which he was committed completed what was begun in him by the bitterness of a great frustration.

He had given in to that twisted madness that drives a person to do and say things that are completely unreasonable. His awareness of the outrageous irrationality he was caught up in intensified what had started within him due to the bitterness of a deep frustration.

‘If I wasn’t a poor, helpless woman,’ replied his wife, sinking upon a chair and crying without raising her hands to her face, ‘I’d go and live with her till she was married, and then make a home for myself. But I haven’t a penny, and I’m too old to earn my own living; I should only be a burden to her.’

‘If I weren’t a poor, helpless woman,’ his wife replied, sitting down in a chair and crying without covering her face, ‘I’d go live with her until she got married, and then I’d make a home for myself. But I don’t have a dime, and I’m too old to support myself; I’d just be a burden to her.’

‘That shall be no hindrance,’ cried Yule. ‘Go, by all means; you shall have a sufficient allowance as long as I can continue to work, and when I’m past that, your lot will be no harder than mine. Your daughter had the chance of making provision for my old age, at no expense to herself. But that was asking too much of her. Go, by all means, and leave me to make what I can of the rest of my life; perhaps I may save a few years still from the curse brought upon me by my own folly.’

‘That won’t be a problem,’ Yule exclaimed. ‘Go ahead; you’ll get a fair share as long as I can keep working, and when I can’t anymore, your situation won’t be tougher than mine. Your daughter had the opportunity to secure my future without it costing her anything. But that was asking too much of her. Go on, and let me figure out what I can do with the rest of my life; maybe I can still save a few years from the mess caused by my own mistakes.’

It was idle to address him. Mrs Yule went into the sitting-room, and there sat weeping for an hour. Then she extinguished the lights, and crept upstairs in silence.

It was pointless to talk to him. Mrs. Yule went into the living room and sat there crying for an hour. Then she turned off the lights and quietly went upstairs.

Yule passed the night in the study. Towards morning he slept for an hour or two, just long enough to let the fire go out and to get thoroughly chilled. When he opened his eyes a muddy twilight had begun to show at the window; the sounds of a clapping door within the house, which had probably awakened him, made him aware that the servant was already up.

Yule spent the night in the study. As morning approached, he dozed off for an hour or two, just long enough for the fire to die down and for him to feel really cold. When he opened his eyes, a dull light was starting to appear at the window; the sound of a door banging shut inside the house, which had likely woken him, reminded him that the servant was already up.

He drew up the blind. There seemed to be a frost, for the moisture of last night had all disappeared, and the yard upon which the window looked was unusually clean. With a glance at the black grate he extinguished his lamp, and went out into the passage. A few minutes’ groping for his overcoat and hat, and he left the house.

He pulled up the blinds. There seemed to be a frost since all the moisture from last night had vanished, and the yard outside the window looked unusually tidy. After a quick look at the black fireplace, he turned off his lamp and stepped into the hallway. After a few minutes of searching for his coat and hat, he left the house.

His purpose was to warm himself with a vigorous walk, and at the same time to shake off if possible, the nightmare of his rage and hopelessness. He had no distinct feeling with regard to his behaviour of the past evening; he neither justified nor condemned himself; he did not ask himself whether Marian would to-day leave her home, or if her mother would take him at his word and also depart. These seemed to be details which his brain was too weary to consider. But he wished to be away from the wretchedness of his house, and to let things go as they would whilst he was absent. As he closed the front door he felt as if he were escaping from an atmosphere that threatened to stifle him.

His goal was to warm up with a vigorous walk while also trying to shake off the nightmare of his anger and hopelessness. He had no clear feelings about his behavior from the night before; he neither justified nor condemned himself. He didn’t think about whether Marian would leave her home today or if her mother would take him at his word and leave too. Those seemed like details his exhausted mind couldn’t handle. But he wanted to get away from the misery of his house and let things unfold without him for a while. As he closed the front door, it felt like he was escaping an atmosphere that threatened to suffocate him.

His steps directing themselves more by habit than with any deliberate choice, he walked towards Camden Road. When he had reached Camden Town railway-station he was attracted by a coffee-stall; a draught of the steaming liquid, no matter its quality, would help his blood to circulate. He laid down his penny, and first warmed his hands by holding them round the cup. Whilst standing thus he noticed that the objects at which he looked had a blurred appearance; his eyesight seemed to have become worse this morning. Only a result of his insufficient sleep perhaps. He took up a scrap of newspaper that lay on the stall; he could read it, but one of his eyes was certainly weaker than the other; trying to see with that one alone, he found that everything became misty.

His steps were guided more by habit than any conscious decision as he walked toward Camden Road. Once he reached the Camden Town railway station, he was drawn to a coffee stall; a cup of the hot drink, regardless of its quality, would help him feel more awake. He paid his penny and first warmed his hands around the cup. While standing there, he noticed that the things he was looking at appeared blurry; his eyesight seemed worse that morning. It was probably just a result of not enough sleep. He picked up a scrap of newspaper from the stall; he could read it, but one of his eyes was definitely weaker than the other. When he tried to see with just that eye, everything turned hazy.

He laughed, as if the threat of new calamity were an amusement in his present state of mind. And at the same moment his look encountered that of a man who had drawn near to him, a shabbily-dressed man of middle age, whose face did not correspond with his attire.

He laughed, as if the possibility of new disaster was amusing to him in his current state of mind. At the same time, his gaze met that of a man who had come closer, a middle-aged man in shabby clothes, whose face didn’t match his outfit.

‘Will you give me a cup of coffee?’ asked the stranger, in a low voice and with shamefaced manner. ‘It would be a great kindness.’

‘Will you give me a cup of coffee?’ asked the stranger, in a quiet voice and with an embarrassed demeanor. ‘It would be really nice of you.’

The accent was that of good breeding. Yule hesitated in surprise for a moment, then said:

The accent sounded refined. Yule paused in surprise for a moment, then said:

‘Have one by all means. Would you care for anything to eat?’

‘Sure, go ahead. Would you like something to eat?’

‘I am much obliged to you. I think I should be none the worse for one of those solid slices of bread and butter.’

‘I really appreciate it. I think I could do with one of those thick slices of bread and butter.’

The stall-keeper was just extinguishing his lights; the frosty sky showed a pale gleam of sunrise.

The vendor was just turning off his lights; the frosty sky had a faint glow of sunrise.

‘Hard times, I’m afraid,’ remarked Yule, as his beneficiary began to eat the luncheon with much appearance of grateful appetite.

"Rough times, I’m afraid," said Yule, as his beneficiary started to eat the lunch with a look of genuine appetite.

‘Very hard times.’ He had a small, thin, colourless countenance, with large, pathetic eyes; a slight moustache and curly beard. His clothes were such as would be worn by some very poor clerk. ‘I came here an hour ago,’ he continued, ‘with the hope of meeting an acquaintance who generally goes from this station at a certain time. I have missed him, and in doing so I missed what I had thought my one chance of a breakfast. When one has neither dined nor supped on the previous day, breakfast becomes a meal of some importance.’

‘Very tough times.’ He had a small, thin, pale face, with big, sad eyes; a thin mustache and a curly beard. His clothes looked like something a very poor clerk would wear. ‘I arrived here an hour ago,’ he continued, ‘hoping to meet a friend who usually leaves from this station at a certain time. I missed him, and in doing so, I missed what I thought was my only chance for breakfast. When you haven’t eaten dinner or supper the day before, breakfast becomes pretty important.’

‘True. Take another slice.’

"True. Grab another slice."

‘I am greatly obliged to you.’

"Thanks, I really appreciate it."

‘Not at all. I have known hard times myself, and am likely to know worse.’

‘Not at all. I've experienced tough times myself, and I'm probably going to face even worse.’

‘I trust not. This is the first time that I have positively begged. I should have been too much ashamed to beg of the kind of men who are usually at these places; they certainly have no money to spare. I was thinking of making an appeal at a baker’s shop, but it is very likely I should have been handed over to a policeman. Indeed I don’t know what I should have done; the last point of endurance was almost reached. I have no clothes but these I wear, and they are few enough for the season. Still, I suppose the waistcoat must have gone.’

‘I don’t think so. This is the first time I’ve actually begged. I would have been too embarrassed to ask the kind of people who usually hang out in these places; they clearly don’t have any cash to spare. I considered asking at a bakery, but I probably would’ve been sent to a cop. Honestly, I have no idea what I would’ve done; I was nearly at my breaking point. I only have the clothes I’m wearing, and they’re not sufficient for this time of year. Still, I guess the vest must be gone.’

He did not talk like a beggar who is trying to excite compassion, but with a sort of detached curiosity concerning the difficulties of his position.

He didn't speak like a beggar trying to elicit sympathy but with a kind of detached curiosity about the challenges of his situation.

‘You can find nothing to do?’ said the man of letters.

‘You can't find anything to do?’ said the writer.

‘Positively nothing. By profession I am a surgeon, but it’s a long time since I practised. Fifteen years ago I was comfortably established at Wakefield; I was married and had one child. But my capital ran out, and my practice, never anything to boast of, fell to nothing. I succeeded in getting a place as an assistant to a man at Chester. We sold up, and started on the journey.’

‘Absolutely nothing. I'm a surgeon by profession, but I haven't practiced in a long time. Fifteen years ago, I was well settled in Wakefield; I was married and had one child. But my savings ran out, and my practice, which was never great, dwindled to nothing. I managed to get a job as an assistant to someone in Chester. We sold everything and set off on the journey.’

He paused, looking at Yule in a strange way.

He paused, giving Yule a curious look.

‘What happened then?’

'What happened next?'

‘You probably don’t remember a railway accident that took place near Crewe in that year—it was 1869? I and my wife and child were alone in a carriage that was splintered. One moment I was talking with them, in fairly good spirits, and my wife was laughing at something I had said; the next, there were two crushed, bleeding bodies at my feet. I had a broken arm, that was all. Well, they were killed on the instant; they didn’t suffer. That has been my one consolation.’

‘You probably don’t remember a train accident that happened near Crewe that year—it was 1869? My wife, child, and I were alone in a carriage that got wrecked. One moment I was chatting with them, feeling pretty good, and my wife was laughing at something I said; the next moment, there were two crushed, bleeding bodies at my feet. I just had a broken arm, that was it. Well, they died instantly; they didn’t suffer. That’s been my only consolation.’

Yule kept the silence of sympathy.

Yule stayed quiet in solidarity.

‘I was in a lunatic asylum for more than a year after that,’ continued the man. ‘Unhappily, I didn’t lose my senses at the moment; it took two or three weeks to bring me to that pass. But I recovered, and there has been no return of the disease. Don’t suppose that I am still of unsound mind. There can be little doubt that poverty will bring me to that again in the end; but as yet I am perfectly sane. I have supported myself in various ways.

‘I was in a mental institution for over a year after that,’ the man continued. ‘Unfortunately, I didn’t lose my mind right away; it took two or three weeks to get to that point. But I got better, and I haven’t had a relapse. Don’t think that I’m still not in my right mind. There’s little doubt that poverty will push me back to that eventually, but for now, I’m completely sane. I’ve managed to support myself in different ways.

No, I don’t drink; I see the question in your face. But I am physically weak, and, to quote Mrs Gummidge, “things go contrary with me.” There’s no use lamenting; this breakfast has helped me on, and I feel in much better spirits.’

No, I don’t drink; I can see the question on your face. But I am physically weak, and, to quote Mrs. Gummidge, “things go wrong for me.” There’s no point in complaining; this breakfast has helped me, and I feel much better now.

‘Your surgical knowledge is no use to you?’

‘Is your surgical knowledge not useful to you?’

The other shook his head and sighed.

The other person shook his head and sighed.

‘Did you ever give any special attention to diseases of the eyes?’

‘Have you ever paid special attention to eye diseases?’

‘Special, no. But of course I had some acquaintance with the subject.’

'Special, no. But I definitely had some familiarity with the subject.'

‘Could you tell by examination whether a man was threatened with cataract, or anything of that kind?’

‘Could you tell by examining whether a man was at risk of cataracts or something similar?’

‘I think I could.’

"I think I can."

‘I am speaking of myself.’

"I'm talking about myself."

The stranger made a close scrutiny of Yule’s face, and asked certain questions with reference to his visual sensations.

The stranger closely examined Yule's face and asked a few questions about what he was seeing.

‘I hardly like to propose it,’ he said at length, ‘but if you were willing to accompany me to a very poor room that I have not far from here, I could make the examination formally.’

‘I really don’t want to bring it up,’ he finally said, ‘but if you’re okay with coming with me to a very small room that I have not far from here, I could do the examination officially.’

‘I will go with you.’

"I'll go with you."

They turned away from the stall, and the ex-surgeon led into a by-street. Yule wondered at himself for caring to seek such a singular consultation, but he had a pressing desire to hear some opinion as to the state of his eyes. Whatever the stranger might tell him, he would afterwards have recourse to a man of recognised standing; but just now companionship of any kind was welcome, and the poor hungry fellow, with his dolorous life-story, had made appeal to his sympathies. To give money under guise of a fee would be better than merely offering alms.

They turned away from the stall, and the ex-surgeon led him into a side street. Yule was surprised at himself for wanting to seek such an unusual consultation, but he really wanted to get someone’s opinion about his eyes. No matter what the stranger might say, he would later go to a respectable doctor; but for now, any kind of company was welcome, and the poor, hungry guy with his sad life story had tugged at his heartstrings. Giving money as a fee seemed better than just handing out charity.

‘This is the house,’ said his guide, pausing at a dirty door. ‘It isn’t inviting, but the people are honest, so far as I know. My room is at the top.’

‘This is the house,’ said his guide, stopping at a dirty door. ‘It’s not welcoming, but the people are honest, as far as I know. My room is at the top.’

‘Lead on,’ answered Yule.

"Go ahead," replied Yule.

In the room they entered was nothing noticeable; it was only the poorest possible kind of bed-chamber, or all but the poorest possible. Daylight had now succeeded to dawn, yet the first thing the stranger did was to strike a match and light a candle.

In the room they walked into, there was nothing remarkable; it was just an extremely shabby bedroom, or nearly the most shabby. Daylight had now replaced dawn, yet the first thing the stranger did was strike a match and light a candle.

‘Will you kindly place yourself with your back to the window?’ he said. ‘I am going to apply what is called the catoptric test. You have probably heard of it?’

“Could you please turn around and face away from the window?” he said. “I'm going to do what’s called the catoptric test. You’ve probably heard of it?”

‘My ignorance of scientific matters is fathomless.’

‘My lack of knowledge about science is endless.’

The other smiled, and at once offered a simple explanation of the term. By the appearance of the candle as it reflected itself in the patient’s eye it was possible, he said, to decide whether cataract had taken hold upon the organ.

The other smiled and immediately gave a straightforward explanation of the term. He said that by looking at the way the candlelight reflected in the patient’s eye, it was possible to determine if cataracts had developed in the eye.

For a minute or two he conducted his experiment carefully, and Yule was at no loss to read the result upon his face.

For a minute or two, he carefully carried out his experiment, and Yule had no trouble reading the result on his face.

‘How long have you suspected that something was wrong?’ the surgeon asked, as he put down the candle.

‘How long have you thought something was wrong?’ the surgeon asked, as he set down the candle.

‘For several months.’

"For a few months."

‘You haven’t consulted anyone?’

"You haven't asked anyone?"

‘No one. I have kept putting it off. Just tell me what you have discovered.’

‘No one. I keep putting it off. Just tell me what you’ve found out.’

‘The back of the right lens is affected beyond a doubt.’

‘There’s no doubt that the back of the right lens is affected.’

‘That means, I take it, that before very long I shall be practically blind?’

‘So, I guess that means I’ll be practically blind before long?’

‘I don’t like to speak with an air of authority. After all, I am only a surgeon who has bungled himself into pauperdom. You must see a competent man; that much I can tell you in all earnestness.

‘I don’t like to speak with an air of authority. After all, I am just a surgeon who has messed up my way into poverty. You need to see a qualified professional; I can tell you that much sincerely.’

Do you use your eyes much?’

Do you use your eyes a lot?

‘Fourteen hours a day, that’s all.’

‘Fourteen hours a day, that’s it.’

‘H’m! You are a literary man, I think?’

‘Hmm! I think you’re a literary guy, right?’

‘I am. My name is Alfred Yule.’

‘I am. My name is Alfred Yule.’

He had some faint hope that the name might be recognised; that would have gone far, for the moment, to counteract his trouble. But not even this poor satisfaction was to be granted him; to his hearer the name evidently conveyed nothing.

He had some small hope that the name might be recognized; that would have helped a lot, at least for the moment, to ease his troubles. But not even this little bit of satisfaction was granted to him; to his listener, the name clearly meant nothing.

‘See a competent man, Mr Yule. Science has advanced rapidly since the days when I was a student; I am only able to assure you of the existence of disease.’

‘Check out a skilled person, Mr. Yule. Science has progressed quickly since my student days; I can only confirm that disease exists.’

They talked for half an hour, until both were shaking with cold. Then Yule thrust his hand into his pocket.

They talked for thirty minutes, until both were shivering from the cold. Then Yule stuffed his hand into his pocket.

‘You will of course allow me to offer such return as I am able,’ he said. ‘The information isn’t pleasant, but I am glad to have it.’

‘You’ll definitely let me give you what I can,’ he said. ‘The news isn’t great, but I’m glad to know it.’

He laid five shillings on the chest of drawers—there was no table. The stranger expressed his gratitude.

He placed five shillings on the dresser—there was no table. The stranger thanked him.

‘My name is Duke,’ he said, ‘and I was christened Victor—possibly because I was doomed to defeat in life. I wish you could have associated the memory of me with happier circumstances.’

‘My name is Duke,’ he said, ‘and my given name is Victor—maybe because I was meant to fail in life. I wish you could remember me under better circumstances.’

They shook hands, and Yule quitted the house.

They shook hands, and Yule left the house.

He came out again by Camden Town station. The coffee-stall had disappeared; the traffic of the great highway was growing uproarious. Among all the strugglers for existence who rushed this way and that, Alfred Yule felt himself a man chosen for fate’s heaviest infliction. He never questioned the accuracy of the stranger’s judgment, and he hoped for no mitigation of the doom it threatened. His life was over—and wasted.

He came out again by Camden Town station. The coffee stall was gone; the traffic on the main road was getting noisy. Among all the people struggling to get by who rushed this way and that, Alfred Yule felt like a person marked for the worst fate. He never doubted the stranger’s assessment, and he didn’t hope for any relief from the doom it suggested. His life was over—and wasted.

He might as well go home, and take his place meekly by the fireside. He was beaten. Soon to be a useless old man, a burden and annoyance to whosoever had pity on him.

He might as well go home and sit quietly by the fire. He was defeated. Soon, he would be an elderly man with no purpose, a burden and annoyance to anyone who felt sorry for him.

It was a curious effect of the imagination that since coming into the open air again his eyesight seemed to be far worse than before. He irritated his nerves of vision by incessant tests, closing first one eye then the other, comparing his view of nearer objects with the appearance of others more remote, fancying an occasional pain—which could have had no connection with his disease. The literary projects which had stirred so actively in his mind twelve hours ago were become an insubstantial memory; to the one crushing blow had succeeded a second, which was fatal. He could hardly recall what special piece of work he had been engaged upon last night. His thoughts were such as if actual blindness had really fallen upon him.

It was strange how his imagination worked because now that he was back outside, his eyesight seemed worse than before. He frustrated his eyes by constantly testing them, closing one eye and then the other, comparing how close objects looked versus those farther away, and imagining he felt occasional pain—that couldn’t possibly be related to his condition. The writing ideas that had excited him just twelve hours earlier had turned into a vague memory; the first heavy blow had been followed by another, which felt devastating. He could barely remember what specific project he had been working on last night. His thoughts were as if he had truly gone blind.

At half-past eight he entered the house. Mrs Yule was standing at the foot of the stairs; she looked at him, then turned away towards the kitchen. He went upstairs. On coming down again he found breakfast ready as usual, and seated himself at the table. Two letters waited for him there; he opened them.

At 8:30, he walked into the house. Mrs. Yule was standing at the bottom of the stairs; she glanced at him, then turned away and went to the kitchen. He went upstairs. When he came back down, he found breakfast ready as usual and sat down at the table. Two letters were waiting for him there; he opened them.

When Mrs Yule came into the room a few moments later she was astonished by a burst of loud, mocking laughter from her husband, excited, as it appeared, by something he was reading.

When Mrs. Yule walked into the room a few moments later, she was shocked by a loud, mocking laugh from her husband, who seemed excited by something he was reading.

‘Is Marian up?’ he asked, turning to her.

‘Is Marian awake?’ he asked, turning to her.

‘Yes.’

"Yeah."

‘She is not coming to breakfast?’

"Is she not coming to breakfast?"

‘No.’

'No.'

‘Then just take that letter to her, and ask her to read it.’

‘Then just take that letter to her and ask her to read it.’

Mrs Yule ascended to her daughter’s bedroom. She knocked, was bidden enter, and found Marian packing clothes in a trunk. The girl looked as if she had been up all night; her eyes bore the traces of much weeping.

Mrs. Yule went up to her daughter’s bedroom. She knocked, was told to come in, and found Marian packing clothes in a trunk. The girl looked like she had been up all night; her eyes showed signs of having cried a lot.

‘He has come back, dear,’ said Mrs Yule, in the low voice of apprehension, ‘and he says you are to read this letter.’

‘He’s back, dear,’ said Mrs. Yule, in a worried whisper, ‘and he says you need to read this letter.’

Marian took the sheet, unfolded it, and read. As soon as she had reached the end she looked wildly at her mother, seemed to endeavour vainly to speak, then fell to the floor in unconsciousness. The mother was only just able to break the violence of her fall. Having snatched a pillow and placed it beneath Marian’s head, she rushed to the door and called loudly for her husband, who in a moment appeared.

Marian took the sheet, unfolded it, and read. As soon as she reached the end, she looked frantically at her mother, seemed to try to speak but couldn’t, and then collapsed to the floor, unconscious. The mother barely managed to soften her fall. After grabbing a pillow and placing it under Marian’s head, she rushed to the door and called loudly for her husband, who appeared in a moment.

‘What is it?’ she cried to him. ‘Look, she has fallen down in a faint. Why are you treating her like this?’

‘What’s going on?’ she shouted at him. ‘Look, she’s collapsed. Why are you treating her like this?’

‘Attend to her,’ Yule replied roughly. ‘I suppose you know better than I do what to do when a person faints.’

‘Take care of her,’ Yule replied gruffly. ‘I guess you know better than I do what to do when someone faints.’

The swoon lasted for several minutes.

The fainting spell lasted for several minutes.

‘What’s in the letter?’ asked Mrs Yule whilst chafing the lifeless hands.

‘What’s in the letter?’ asked Mrs. Yule while warming the cold hands.

‘Her money’s lost. The people who were to pay it have just failed.’

‘Her money is gone. The people who were supposed to pay it just defaulted.’

‘She won’t get anything?’

"She won't get anything?"

‘Most likely nothing at all.’

"Probably nothing at all."

The letter was a private communication from one of John Yule’s executors. It seemed likely that the demand upon Turberville & Co. for an account of the deceased partner’s share in their business had helped to bring about a crisis in affairs that were already unstable. Something might be recovered in the legal proceedings that would result, but there were circumstances which made the outlook very doubtful.

The letter was a private message from one of John Yule’s executors. It seemed that the request to Turberville & Co. for a breakdown of the deceased partner’s share in their business had contributed to a crisis in already shaky affairs. There could be something salvaged in the legal proceedings that would follow, but there were factors that made the future look quite uncertain.

As Marian came to herself her father left the room. An hour afterwards Mrs Yule summoned him again to the girl’s chamber; he went, and found Marian lying on the bed, looking like one who had been long ill.

As Marian regained consciousness, her father left the room. An hour later, Mrs. Yule called him back to the girl’s room; he went and found Marian lying on the bed, looking like someone who had been sick for a long time.

‘I wish to ask you a few questions,’ she said, without raising herself. ‘Must my legacy necessarily be paid out of that investment?’

‘I want to ask you a few questions,’ she said, without sitting up. ‘Does my legacy have to come from that investment?’

‘It must. Those are the terms of the will.’

'It has to. Those are the conditions of the will.'

‘If nothing can be recovered from those people, I have no remedy?’

'If I can't get anything back from those people, do I have no solution?'

‘None whatever that I can see.’

‘None that I can see at all.’

‘But when a firm is bankrupt they generally pay some portion of their debts?’

‘But when a company goes bankrupt, they usually pay off some part of their debts?’

‘Sometimes. I know nothing of the case.’

‘Sometimes. I don't know anything about the case.’

‘This of course happens to me,’ Marian said, with intense bitterness. ‘None of the other legatees will suffer, I suppose?’

‘This always happens to me,’ Marian said, with intense bitterness. ‘I guess none of the other heirs will have to deal with this, right?’

‘Someone must, but to a very small extent.’

‘Someone has to, but only a little bit.’

‘Of course. When shall I have direct information?’

‘Of course. When will I get direct information?’

‘You can write to Mr Holden; you have his address.’

'You can write to Mr. Holden; you have his address.'

‘Thank you. That’s all.’

"Thanks, that's it."

He was dismissed, and went quietly away.

He was let go and walked away quietly.





PART FIVE





CHAPTER XXX. WAITING ON DESTINY

Throughout the day Marian kept her room. Her intention to leave the house was, of course, abandoned; she was the prisoner of fate. Mrs Yule would have tended her with unremitting devotion, but the girl desired to be alone. At times she lay in silent anguish; frequently her tears broke forth, and she sobbed until weariness overcame her. In the afternoon she wrote a letter to Mr Holden, begging that she might be kept constantly acquainted with the progress of things.

Throughout the day, Marian stayed in her room. Her plan to leave the house was, of course, abandoned; she was trapped by fate. Mrs. Yule would have cared for her with continuous devotion, but the girl wanted to be alone. At times, she lay in silent agony; often, her tears flowed, and she sobbed until exhaustion took over. In the afternoon, she wrote a letter to Mr. Holden, asking him to keep her updated on everything happening.

At five her mother brought tea.

At five, her mom brought tea.

‘Wouldn’t it be better if you went to bed now, Marian?’ she suggested.

“Wouldn't it be better if you went to bed now, Marian?” she suggested.

‘To bed? But I am going out in an hour or two.’

‘To bed? But I'm heading out in an hour or two.’

‘Oh, you can’t, dear! It’s so bitterly cold. It wouldn’t be good for you.’

‘Oh, you can’t, sweetheart! It’s freezing out. It wouldn’t be good for you.’

‘I have to go out, mother, so we won’t speak of it.’

‘I have to go out, Mom, so we won’t talk about it.’

It was not safe to reply. Mrs Yule sat down, and watched the girl raise the cup to her mouth with trembling hand.

It wasn't safe to respond. Mrs. Yule sat down and watched the girl lift the cup to her mouth with a shaking hand.

‘This won’t make any difference to you—in the end, my darling,’ the mother ventured to say at length, alluding for the first time to the effect of the catastrophe on Marian’s immediate prospects.

‘This won’t change anything for you—in the end, my dear,’ the mother finally said, referring for the first time to how the disaster would impact Marian’s immediate future.

‘Of course not,’ was the reply, in a tone of self-persuasion.

“Of course not,” was the response, said in a tone of self-convincing.

‘Mr Milvain is sure to have plenty of money before long.’

‘Mr. Milvain is definitely going to have a lot of money soon.’

‘Yes.’

‘Yep.’

‘You feel much better now, don’t you?’

‘You feel a lot better now, don’t you?’

‘Much. I am quite well again.’

‘A lot. I'm feeling much better now.’

At seven, Marian went out. Finding herself weaker than she had thought, she stopped an empty cab that presently passed her, and so drove to the Milvains’ lodgings. In her agitation she inquired for Mr Milvain, instead of for Dora, as was her habit; it mattered very little, for the landlady and her servants were of course under no misconception regarding this young lady’s visits.

At seven, Marian went out. Realizing she was weaker than she had thought, she hailed an empty cab that was passing by and took it to the Milvains’ place. In her anxious state, she asked for Mr. Milvain instead of Dora, which was usually her routine; it didn’t really matter, though, since the landlady and her staff were clearly aware of this young lady’s visits.

Jasper was at home, and working. He had but to look at Marian to see that something wretched had been going on at her home; naturally he supposed it the result of his letter to Mr Yule.

Jasper was at home and working. He only had to look at Marian to see that something terrible had been happening at her place; he naturally thought it was because of his letter to Mr. Yule.

‘Your father has been behaving brutally,’ he said, holding her hands and gazing anxiously at her.

'Your dad has been acting really harshly,' he said, holding her hands and looking at her with concern.

‘There is something far worse than that, Jasper.’

‘There’s something way worse than that, Jasper.’

‘Worse?’

"Worse?"

She threw off her outdoor things, then took the fatal letter from her pocket and handed it to him. Jasper gave a whistle of consternation, and looked vacantly from the paper to Marian’s countenance.

She tossed aside her outdoor clothes, then took the inevitable letter from her pocket and handed it to him. Jasper whistled in shock and stared blankly from the paper to Marian’s face.

‘How the deuce comes this about?’ he exclaimed. ‘Why, wasn’t your uncle aware of the state of things?’

‘How on earth did this happen?’ he exclaimed. ‘Wasn’t your uncle aware of what was going on?’

‘Perhaps he was. He may have known that the legacy was a mere form.’

‘Maybe he was. He might have realized that the legacy was just a formality.’

‘You are the only one affected?’

‘Are you the only one affected?’

‘So father says. It’s sure to be the case.’

‘So Dad says. It's definitely true.’

‘This has upset you horribly, I can see. Sit down, Marian. When did the letter come?’

‘This has really upset you, I can see. Sit down, Marian. When did the letter arrive?’

‘This morning.’

"This morning."

‘And you have been fretting over it all day. But come, we must keep up our courage; you may get something substantial out of the scoundrels still.’

‘And you've been worrying about it all day. But come on, we need to stay strong; you might still get something meaningful from those crooks.’

Even whilst he spoke his eyes wandered absently. On the last word his voice failed, and he fell into abstraction. Marian’s look was fixed upon him, and he became conscious of it. He tried to smile.

Even as he talked, his eyes drifted off. By the time he finished his last word, his voice trailed off, and he seemed lost in thought. Marian was staring at him, and he noticed. He attempted to smile.

‘What were you writing?’ she asked, making involuntary diversion from the calamitous theme.

‘What were you writing?’ she asked, unintentionally shifting away from the disastrous topic.

‘Rubbish for the Will-o’-the-Wisp. Listen to this paragraph about English concert audiences.’

‘Rubbish for the Will-o’-the-Wisp. Check out this paragraph about English concert audiences.’

It was as necessary to him as to her to have a respite before the graver discussion began. He seized gladly the opportunity she offered, and read several pages of manuscript, slipping from one topic to another. To hear him one would have supposed that he was in his ordinary mood; he laughed at his own jokes and points.

It was just as important for him as it was for her to have a break before the more serious conversation started. He happily took the chance she gave him and read through several pages of manuscript, jumping from one topic to another. If you listened to him, you would think he was in his usual mood; he laughed at his own jokes and comments.

‘They’ll have to pay me more,’ was the remark with which he closed. ‘I only wanted to make myself indispensable to them, and at the end of this year I shall feel pretty sure of that. They’ll have to give me two guineas a column; by Jove! they will.’

‘They’ll have to pay me more,’ he said as he wrapped things up. ‘I just wanted to make myself essential to them, and by the end of this year, I’ll be pretty confident about that. They’ll have to give me two guineas per column; you bet they will.’

‘And you may hope for much more than that, mayn’t you, before long?’

‘And you can hope for a lot more than that, can’t you, soon enough?’

‘Oh, I shall transfer myself to a better paper presently. It seems to me I must be stirring to some purpose.’

‘Oh, I'll move to a better paper soon. It feels like I should be doing something useful.’

He gave her a significant look.

He gave her a meaningful glance.

‘What shall we do, Jasper?’

‘What should we do, Jasper?’

‘Work and wait, I suppose.’

"Guess I’ll just work and wait."

‘There’s something I must tell you. Father said I had better sign that Harrington article myself. If I do that, I shall have a right to the money, I think. It will at least be eight guineas. And why shouldn’t I go on writing for myself—for us? You can help me to think of subjects.’

‘There’s something I need to tell you. Dad said I should sign that Harrington article myself. If I do that, I should be entitled to the money, I think. It will be at least eight guineas. And why shouldn’t I keep writing for myself—for us? You can help me come up with ideas.’

‘First of all, what about my letter to your father? We are forgetting all about it.’

‘First of all, what about my letter to your dad? We're completely overlooking it.’

‘He refused to answer.’

"He wouldn’t answer."

Marian avoided closer description of what had happened. It was partly that she felt ashamed of her father’s unreasoning wrath, and feared lest Jasper’s pride might receive an injury from which she in turn would suffer; partly that she was unwilling to pain her lover by making display of all she had undergone.

Marian steered clear of going into detail about what had happened. Part of her felt embarrassed by her father's irrational anger and worried that Jasper's pride might take a hit, which would end up affecting her; part of her just didn’t want to hurt her boyfriend by revealing everything she had been through.

‘Oh, he refused to reply! Surely that is extreme behaviour.’

‘Oh, he wouldn’t respond! That’s definitely over the top.’

What she dreaded seemed to be coming to pass. Jasper stood rather stiffly, and threw his head back.

What she feared looked like it was really happening. Jasper stood pretty rigidly and tilted his head back.

‘You know the reason, dear. That prejudice has entered into his very life. It is not you he dislikes; that is impossible. He thinks of you only as he would of anyone connected with Mr Fadge.’

‘You know why, dear. That prejudice has become a part of his life. It's not you he dislikes; that can't be true. He only thinks of you like he would anyone associated with Mr. Fadge.’

‘Well, well; it isn’t a matter of much moment. But what I have in mind is this. Will it be possible for you, whilst living at home, to take a position of independence, and say that you are going to work for your own profit?’

‘Well, well; it’s not a big deal. But what I'm thinking is this. Will it be possible for you, while living at home, to take a stance of independence and say that you’re going to work for your own benefit?’

‘At least I might claim half the money I can earn. And I was thinking more of—’

‘At least I could claim half of the money I earn. And I was thinking more about—’

‘Of what?’

'About what?'

‘When I am your wife, I may be able to help. I could earn thirty or forty pounds a year, I think. That would pay the rent of a small house.’

‘When I’m your wife, I might be able to help. I could earn thirty or forty pounds a year, I think. That would cover the rent of a small house.’

She spoke with shaken voice, her eyes fixed upon his face.

She spoke with a trembling voice, her eyes locked onto his face.

‘But, my dear Marian, we surely oughtn’t to think of marrying so long as expenses are so nicely fitted as all that?’

‘But, my dear Marian, we really shouldn’t consider getting married as long as expenses fit so perfectly like that?’

‘No. I only meant—’

'No. I just meant—'

She faltered, and her tongue became silent as her heart sank.

She hesitated, and her words got caught in her throat as her heart dropped.

‘It simply means,’ pursued Jasper, seating himself and crossing his legs, ‘that I must move heaven and earth to improve my position. You know that my faith in myself is not small; there’s no knowing what I might do if I used every effort. But, upon my word, I don’t see much hope of our being able to marry for a year or two under the most favourable circumstances.’

‘It just means,’ continued Jasper, sitting down and crossing his legs, ‘that I need to do everything possible to better my situation. You know I have a lot of self-confidence; who knows what I could achieve if I really put in the effort. But honestly, I don’t see much chance of us being able to get married for at least a year or two, even in the best circumstances.’

‘No; I quite understand that.’

'No; I totally get that.'

‘Can you promise to keep a little love for me all that time?’ he asked with a constrained smile.

‘Can you promise to keep a little love for me all that time?’ he asked with a tight smile.

‘You know me too well to fear.’

‘You know me well enough not to be afraid.’

‘I thought you seemed a little doubtful.’

‘I thought you seemed a bit unsure.’

His tone was not altogether that which makes banter pleasant between lovers. Marian looked at him fearfully. Was it possible for him in truth so to misunderstand her? He had never satisfied her heart’s desire of infinite love; she never spoke with him but she was oppressed with the suspicion that his love was not as great as hers, and, worse still, that he did not wholly comprehend the self-surrender which she strove to make plain in every word.

His tone wasn’t exactly the kind that makes teasing enjoyable between partners. Marian glanced at him anxiously. Could he really misunderstand her this much? He had never fulfilled her yearning for boundless love; every time they talked, she felt weighed down by the nagging doubt that his love wasn’t as deep as hers, and even worse, that he didn’t fully grasp the selflessness she tried to express in every word.

‘You don’t say that seriously, Jasper?’

"Are you serious, Jasper?"

‘But answer seriously.’

‘But answer seriously.’

‘How can you doubt that I would wait faithfully for you for years if it were necessary?’

‘How can you doubt that I would wait for you loyally for years if I had to?’

‘It mustn’t be years, that’s very certain. I think it preposterous for a man to hold a woman bound in that hopeless way.’

‘It shouldn't take years, that's for sure. I think it's ridiculous for a man to keep a woman tied down in such a hopeless way.’

‘But what question is there of holding me bound? Is love dependent on fixed engagements? Do you feel that, if we agreed to part, your love would be at once a thing of the past?’

‘But what’s the point of trying to keep me tied down? Is love reliant on formal commitments? Do you think that if we decided to break up, your love would suddenly disappear?’

‘Why no, of course not.’

"Of course not."

‘Oh, but how coldly you speak, Jasper!’

‘Oh, but how coldly you speak, Jasper!’

She could not breathe a word which might be interpreted as fear lest the change of her circumstances should make a change in his feeling. Yet that was in her mind. The existence of such a fear meant, of course, that she did not entirely trust him, and viewed his character as something less than noble. Very seldom indeed is a woman free from such doubts, however absolute her love; and perhaps it is just as rare for a man to credit in his heart all the praises he speaks of his beloved. Passion is compatible with a great many of these imperfections of intellectual esteem. To see more clearly into Jasper’s personality was, for Marian, to suffer the more intolerable dread lest she should lose him.

She couldn’t say anything that might suggest she was afraid, worried that a shift in her situation might change how he felt. Still, it was on her mind. The fact that she had such a fear meant, of course, that she didn’t fully trust him and saw his character as somewhat flawed. Very rarely is a woman free from such doubts, no matter how deep her love; and it’s probably just as uncommon for a man to genuinely believe all the nice things he says about the woman he loves. Intense feelings can coexist with many of these flaws in judgment. Understanding Jasper's true nature better made Marian feel even more terrified that she might lose him.

She went to his side. Her heart ached because, in her great misery, he had not fondled her, and intoxicated her senses with loving words.

She went to his side. Her heart hurt because, in her deep sorrow, he hadn’t comforted her or filled her senses with sweet words.

‘How can I make you feel how much I love you?’ she murmured.

‘How can I show you how much I love you?’ she whispered.

‘You mustn’t be so literal, dearest. Women are so desperately matter-of-fact; it comes out even in their love-talk.’

‘You shouldn’t be so literal, my dear. Women can be so incredibly straightforward; it shows even in the way they talk about love.’

Marian was not without perception of the irony of such an opinion on Jasper’s lips.

Marian couldn't help but notice the irony of such an opinion coming from Jasper.

‘I am content for you to think so,’ she said. ‘There is only one fact in my life of any importance, and I can never lose sight of it.’

‘I’m fine with you thinking that,’ she said. ‘There’s only one thing in my life that really matters, and I can never forget it.’

‘Well now, we are quite sure of each other. Tell me plainly, do you think me capable of forsaking you because you have perhaps lost your money?’

‘Well now, we’re pretty sure about each other. Just tell me straight, do you think I would abandon you because you might have lost your money?’

The question made her wince. If delicacy had held her tongue, it had no control of HIS.

The question made her flinch. If sensitivity had kept her quiet, it had no effect on HIS.

‘How can I answer that better,’ she said, ‘than by saying I love you?’

‘How can I respond to that better,’ she said, ‘than by saying I love you?’

It was no answer, and Jasper, though obtuse compared with her, understood that it was none. But the emotion which had prompted his words was genuine enough. Her touch, the perfume of her passion, had their exalting effect upon him. He felt in all sincerity that to forsake her would be a baseness, revenged by the loss of such a wife.

It was no answer, and Jasper, though thick-headed compared to her, realized that it was none. But the emotion that had driven his words was real enough. Her touch, the scent of her passion, had a thrilling effect on him. He genuinely felt that abandoning her would be a disgrace, punished by the loss of such a wife.

‘There’s an uphill fight before me, that’s all,’ he said, ‘instead of the pretty smooth course I have been looking forward to. But I don’t fear it, Marian. I’m not the fellow to be beaten.

‘There’s a tough battle ahead of me, that’s all,’ he said, ‘instead of the easy path I was hoping for. But I’m not afraid of it, Marian. I’m not the type to give up.’

You shall be my wife, and you shall have as many luxuries as if you had brought me a fortune.’

You will be my wife, and you will have as many luxuries as if you had given me a fortune.’

‘Luxuries! Oh, how childish you seem to think me!’

‘Luxuries! Oh, how naive you must think I am!’

‘Not a bit of it. Luxuries are a most important part of life. I had rather not live at all than never possess them. Let me give you a useful hint; if ever I seem to you to flag, just remind me of the difference between these lodgings and a richly furnished house. Just hint to me that So-and-so, the journalist, goes about in his carriage, and can give his wife a box at the theatre. Just ask me, casually, how I should like to run over to the Riviera when London fogs are thickest. You understand? That’s the way to keep me at it like a steam-engine.’

‘Not at all. Luxuries are a really important part of life. I’d rather not live at all than never have them. Let me give you a helpful tip: if I ever seem to lose motivation, just remind me of the difference between these lodgings and a nice, furnished home. Just hint to me that So-and-so, the journalist, drives around in his carriage and can take his wife to the theater. Just casually ask me how I’d feel about heading over to the Riviera when London is at its foggiest. You get it? That’s how to keep me going like a steam engine.’

‘You are right. All those things enable one to live a better and fuller life. Oh, how cruel that I—that we are robbed in this way! You can have no idea how terrible a blow it was to me when I read that letter this morning.’

‘You’re right. All those things help you live a better and more fulfilling life. Oh, how cruel that I—that we have been cheated like this! You can’t imagine how devastating it was for me when I read that letter this morning.’

She was on the point of confessing that she had swooned, but something restrained her.

She was about to admit that she had fainted, but something held her back.

‘Your father can hardly be sorry,’ said Jasper.

"Your dad can hardly be upset," said Jasper.

‘I think he speaks more harshly than he feels. The worst was, that until he got your letter he had kept hoping that I would let him have the money for a new review.’

‘I think he speaks more harshly than he feels. The worst part was that, until he got your letter, he had been hoping I would give him the money for a new review.’

‘Well, for the present I prefer to believe that the money isn’t all lost. If the blackguards pay ten shillings in the pound you will get two thousand five hundred out of them, and that’s something. But how do you stand? Will your position be that of an ordinary creditor?’

‘Well, for now, I’d rather think that the money isn’t completely gone. If the crooks pay ten shillings for every pound, you’ll get two thousand five hundred from them, and that’s something. But how are you doing? Will you be in the position of a regular creditor?’

‘I am so ignorant. I know nothing of such things.’

‘I am so clueless. I don’t know anything about that stuff.’

‘But of course your interests will be properly looked after. Put yourself in communication with this Mr Holden. I’ll have a look into the law on the subject. Let us hope as long as we can. By Jove! There’s no other way of facing it.’

‘But of course your interests will be taken care of. Get in touch with this Mr. Holden. I’ll check into the law on the matter. Let’s hope for as long as we can. By gosh! There’s no other way to deal with it.’

‘No, indeed.’

'Definitely not.'

‘Mrs Reardon and the rest of them are safe enough, I suppose?’

‘Mrs. Reardon and the others are safe enough, I guess?’

‘Oh, no doubt.’

'Oh, for sure.'

‘Confound them!—It grows upon one. One doesn’t take in the whole of such a misfortune at once. We must hold on to the last rag of hope, and in the meantime I’ll half work myself to death. Are you going to see the girls?’

‘Damn it!—It weighs on you. You don’t fully grasp a misfortune like this all at once. We need to cling to the last bit of hope, and in the meantime, I’ll work myself to the bone. Are you planning to see the girls?’

‘Not to-night. You must tell them.’

‘Not tonight. You need to tell them.’

‘Dora will cry her eyes out. Upon my word, Maud’ll have to draw in her horns. I must frighten her into economy and hard work.’

‘Dora will be heartbroken. I swear, Maud will have to tone it down. I need to scare her into being more frugal and working harder.’

He again lost himself in anxious reverie.

He slipped back into a state of anxious daydreaming.

‘Marian, couldn’t you try your hand at fiction?’

‘Marian, could you give fiction a try?’

She started, remembering that her father had put the same question so recently.

She jumped, recalling that her dad had asked the same question just recently.

‘I’m afraid I could do nothing worth doing.’

‘I’m afraid I can’t do anything worthwhile.’

‘That isn’t exactly the question. Could you do anything that would sell? With very moderate success in fiction you might make three times as much as you ever will by magazine pot-boilers. A girl like you. Oh, you might manage, I should think.’

‘That isn’t really the question. Could you do anything that would sell? With pretty average success in fiction, you could make three times as much as you ever will by writing magazine fillers. A girl like you. Oh, you could probably pull it off, I think.’

‘A girl like me?’

"A girl like me?"

‘Well, I mean that love-scenes, and that kind of thing, would be very much in your line.’

'Well, I mean that love scenes and that sort of thing would really suit you.'

Marian was not given to blushing; very few girls are, even on strong provocation. For the first time Jasper saw her cheeks colour deeply, and it was with anything but pleasure. His words were coarsely inconsiderate, and wounded her.

Marian didn't usually blush; very few girls do, even when provoked. But for the first time, Jasper saw her cheeks flush deeply, and it was far from pleasant. His words were harsh and thoughtless, and they hurt her.

‘I think that is not my work,’ she said coldly, looking away.

“I don’t think that’s my job,” she said coolly, glancing away.

‘But surely there’s no harm in my saying—’ he paused in astonishment. ‘I meant nothing that could offend you.’

‘But surely there’s no harm in my saying—’ he paused in disbelief. ‘I didn’t mean anything that could upset you.’

‘I know you didn’t, Jasper. But you make me think that—’

‘I know you didn’t, Jasper. But you make me feel that—’

‘Don’t be so literal again, my dear girl. Come here and forgive me.’

‘Don’t take it so literally again, my dear girl. Come here and forgive me.’

She did not approach, but only because the painful thought he had excited kept her to that spot.

She didn't move closer, but only because the painful thought he had triggered kept her rooted to that spot.

‘Come, Marian! Then I must come to you.’

‘Come on, Marian! Then I have to come to you.’

He did so and held her in his arms.

He did that and wrapped his arms around her.

‘Try your hand at a novel, dear, if you can possibly make time. Put me in it, if you like, and make me an insensible masculine. The experiment is worth a try I’m certain. At all events do a few chapters, and let me see them. A chapter needn’t take you more than a couple of hours I should think.’

‘Give writing a novel a shot, dear, if you can manage to find some time. Feel free to include me in it and make me an emotionless guy. I’m sure it will be worth a try. At the very least, write a few chapters and show them to me. I don't think a chapter should take you more than a couple of hours.’

Marian refrained from giving any promise. She seemed irresponsive to his caresses. That thought which at times gives trouble to all women of strong emotions was working in her: had she been too demonstrative, and made her love too cheap? Now that Jasper’s love might be endangered, it behoved her to use any arts which nature prompted. And so, for once, he was not wholly satisfied with her, and at their parting he wondered what subtle change had affected her manner to him.

Marian didn’t make any promises. She seemed unresponsive to his affection. That nagging thought that sometimes troubles passionate women was on her mind: had she been too expressive and made her love seem too easy? Now that Jasper’s love might be at risk, she felt she had to apply whatever natural instincts she had. So, for the first time, he wasn’t entirely satisfied with her, and as they parted, he wondered what subtle change had altered her behavior toward him.

‘Why didn’t Marian come to speak a word?’ said Dora, when her brother entered the girls’ sitting-room about ten o’clock.

‘Why didn’t Marian come to say anything?’ said Dora, when her brother entered the girls’ sitting room around ten o’clock.

‘You knew she was with me, then?’

‘So you knew she was with me, huh?’

‘We heard her voice as she was going away.’

‘We heard her voice as she was leaving.’

‘She brought me some enspiriting news, and thought it better I should have the reporting of it to you.’

‘She brought me some uplifting news and thought it would be better for me to share it with you.’

With brevity he made known what had befallen.

He briefly shared what had happened.

‘Cheerful, isn’t it? The kind of thing that strengthens one’s trust in Providence.’

‘Cheerful, isn’t it? The kind of thing that boosts one’s faith in Providence.’

The girls were appalled. Maud, who was reading by the fireside, let her book fall to her lap, and knit her brows darkly.

The girls were shocked. Maud, who was reading by the fire, let her book drop onto her lap and frowned deeply.

‘Then your marriage must be put off, of course?’ said Dora.

“Then your wedding has to be postponed, right?” said Dora.

‘Well, I shouldn’t be surprised if that were found necessary,’ replied her brother caustically. He was able now to give vent to the feeling which in Marian’s presence was suppressed, partly out of consideration for her, and partly owing to her influence.

‘Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if that became necessary,’ her brother replied sarcastically. He was finally able to express the feelings he had kept in check around Marian, partly out of consideration for her and partly because of her influence.

‘And shall we have to go back to our old lodgings again?’ inquired Maud.

‘Are we going to have to go back to our old place again?’ Maud asked.

Jasper gave no answer, but kicked a footstool savagely out of his way and paced the room.

Jasper didn’t respond, but angrily kicked a footstool out of his way and walked around the room.

‘Oh, do you think we need?’ said Dora, with unusual protest against economy.

‘Oh, do you think we really need that?’ said Dora, surprisingly resistant to saving money.

‘Remember that it’s a matter for your own consideration,’ Jasper replied at length. ‘You are living on your own resources, you know.’

‘Keep in mind that this is something for you to think about,’ Jasper replied after a moment. ‘You’re relying on your own resources, after all.’

Maud glanced at her sister, but Dora was preoccupied.

Maud looked over at her sister, but Dora was lost in thought.

‘Why do you prefer to stay here?’ Jasper asked abruptly of the younger girl.

‘Why do you prefer to stay here?’ Jasper asked suddenly to the younger girl.

‘It is so very much nicer,’ she replied with some embarrassment.

“It’s so much nicer,” she said, a little embarrassed.

He bit the ends of his moustache, and his eyes glared at the impalpable thwarting force that to imagination seemed to fill the air about him.

He bit the tips of his mustache, and his eyes glared at the invisible barrier that, in his imagination, seemed to fill the air around him.

‘A lesson against being over-hasty,’ he muttered, again kicking the footstool.

‘A lesson against being too hasty,’ he muttered, kicking the footstool again.

‘Did you make that considerate remark to Marian?’ asked Maud.

“Did you make that thoughtful comment to Marian?” Maud asked.

‘There would have been no harm if I had done. She knows that I shouldn’t have been such an ass as to talk of marriage without the prospect of something to live upon.’

‘There wouldn’t have been any harm if I had. She knows that I shouldn’t have been so foolish as to talk about marriage without the promise of something to live on.’

‘I suppose she’s wretched?’ said Dora.

‘I guess she’s miserable?’ said Dora.

‘What else can you expect?’

‘What else did you expect?’

‘And did you propose to release her from the burden of her engagement?’ Maud inquired.

‘Did you plan to free her from the burden of her engagement?’ Maud asked.

‘It’s a confounded pity that you’re not rich, Maud,’ replied her brother with an involuntary laugh. ‘You would have a brilliant reputation for wit.’

“It’s such a shame that you’re not wealthy, Maud,” her brother replied with an uncontrollable laugh. “You would have an amazing reputation for wit.”

He walked about and ejaculated splenetic phrases on the subject of his ill-luck.

He wandered around, voicing bitter remarks about his bad luck.

‘We are here, and here we must stay,’ was the final expression of his mood. ‘I have only one superstition that I know of and that forbids me to take a step backward. If I went into poorer lodgings again I should feel it was inviting defeat. I shall stay as long as the position is tenable. Let us get on to Christmas, and then see how things look. Heavens! Suppose we had married, and after that lost the money!’

‘We’re here, and we have to stay here,’ was the final expression of his mood. ‘I only have one superstition that I know of, and it prevents me from taking a step backward. If I moved into worse accommodations again, I would feel like I was inviting defeat. I’ll stay as long as I can manage the situation. Let’s get through Christmas and then see how things look. Oh my God! Imagine if we had gotten married, and then lost all the money!’

‘You would have been no worse off than plenty of literary men,’ said Dora.

‘You would have been no worse off than a lot of writers,’ said Dora.

‘Perhaps not. But as I have made up my mind to be considerably better off than most literary men that reflection wouldn’t console me much. Things are in statu quo, that’s all. I have to rely upon my own efforts. What’s the time? Half-past ten; I can get two hours’ work before going to bed.’

‘Maybe not. But since I've decided to be significantly better off than most writers, that thought doesn’t really comfort me. Things are just the same, that's all. I have to depend on my own efforts. What time is it? Half-past ten; I can get two hours of work done before going to bed.’

And nodding a good-night he left them.

And after saying goodnight with a nod, he left them.

When Marian entered the house and went upstairs, she was followed by her mother. On Mrs Yule’s countenance there was a new distress, she had been crying recently.

When Marian walked into the house and headed upstairs, her mother followed her. Mrs. Yule had a new look of distress on her face; she had clearly been crying recently.

‘Have you seen him?’ the mother asked.

“Have you seen him?” the mother asked.

‘Yes. We have talked about it.’

"Yeah. We've discussed it."

‘What does he wish you to do, dear?’

‘What does he want you to do, dear?’

‘There’s nothing to be done except wait.’

‘There’s nothing to do but wait.’

‘Father has been telling me something, Marian,’ said Mrs Yule after a long silence. ‘He says he is going to be blind. There’s something the matter with his eyes, and he went to see someone about it this afternoon. He’ll get worse and worse, until there has been an operation; and perhaps he’ll never be able to use his eyes properly again.’

‘Dad has been telling me something, Marian,’ said Mrs. Yule after a long silence. ‘He says he’s going to go blind. There’s something wrong with his eyes, and he went to see someone about it this afternoon. He’ll keep getting worse until he has surgery; and maybe he’ll never be able to use his eyes properly again.’

The girl listened in an attitude of despair.

The girl listened with a sense of hopelessness.

‘He has seen an oculist?—a really good doctor?’

'Has he seen an eye doctor?—a really good one?'

‘He says he went to one of the best.’

‘He says he went to one of the best.’

‘And how did he speak to you?’

'And how did he talk to you?'

‘He doesn’t seem to care much what happens. He talked of going to the workhouse, and things like that. But it couldn’t ever come to that, could it, Marian? Wouldn’t somebody help him?’

‘He doesn’t seem to care much about what happens. He talked about going to the workhouse and stuff like that. But it couldn’t ever come to that, right, Marian? Wouldn’t someone help him?’

‘There’s not much help to be expected in this world,’ answered the girl.

‘There isn’t much help to be expected in this world,’ answered the girl.

Physical weariness brought her a few hours of oblivion as soon as she had lain down, but her sleep came to an end in the early morning, when the pressure of evil dreams forced her back to consciousness of real sorrows and cares. A fog-veiled sky added its weight to crush her spirit; at the hour when she usually rose it was still all but as dark as midnight. Her mother’s voice at the door begged her to lie and rest until it grew lighter, and she willingly complied, feeling indeed scarcely capable of leaving her bed.

Physical exhaustion gave her a few hours of escape as soon as she lay down, but her sleep ended early in the morning when the burden of disturbing dreams pulled her back to the reality of her sorrows and worries. A cloudy sky added to the heaviness that weighed down her spirit; at the time she usually got up, it was still nearly as dark as midnight. Her mother called from the door, urging her to stay in bed and rest until it got lighter, and she gladly agreed, feeling hardly able to get out of bed.

The thick black fog penetrated every corner of the house. It could be smelt and tasted. Such an atmosphere produces low-spirited languor even in the vigorous and hopeful; to those wasted by suffering it is the very reek of the bottomless pit, poisoning the soul. Her face colourless as the pillow, Marian lay neither sleeping nor awake, in blank extremity of woe; tears now and then ran down her cheeks, and at times her body was shaken with a throe such as might result from anguish of the torture chamber.

The thick black fog filled every corner of the house. It could be smelled and tasted. This kind of atmosphere creates a sense of weariness and gloom, even in those who are usually strong and optimistic; for those who are suffering, it feels like the very odor of the abyss, poisoning their soul. Her face, as pale as the pillow, Marian lay in a state of complete despair, neither fully asleep nor awake; tears occasionally slid down her cheeks, and at times her body shook with a convulsion that seemed to come from the agony of a torture chamber.

Midway in the morning, when it was still necessary to use artificial light, she went down to the sitting-room. The course of household life had been thrown into confusion by the disasters of the last day or two; Mrs Yule, who occupied herself almost exclusively with questions of economy, cleanliness, and routine, had not the heart to pursue her round of duties, and this morning, though under normal circumstances she would have been busy in ‘turning out’ the dining-room, she moved aimlessly and despondently about the house, giving the servant contradictory orders and then blaming herself for her absent-mindedness. In the troubles of her husband and her daughter she had scarcely greater share—so far as active participation went—than if she had been only a faithful old housekeeper; she could only grieve and lament that such discord had come between the two whom she loved, and that in herself was no power even to solace their distresses. Marian found her standing in the passage, with a duster in one hand and a hearth-brush in the other.

Mid-morning, when it was still necessary to use artificial light, she went down to the living room. The usual flow of household life had been disrupted by the recent troubles; Mrs. Yule, who usually focused on issues of budgeting, cleanliness, and routine, didn’t have the heart to carry on with her responsibilities. This morning, even though she would normally be busy tidying up the dining room, she moved aimlessly and sadly around the house, giving the maid mixed instructions and then blaming herself for her forgetfulness. In the struggles of her husband and daughter, she had hardly any more involvement—as far as actively participating went—than if she had been just a loyal old housekeeper; all she could do was grieve that such conflict had arisen between the two people she loved, and she felt powerless to ease their pain. Marian found her standing in the hallway, with a dust cloth in one hand and a hearth brush in the other.

‘Your father has asked to see you when you come down,’ Mrs Yule whispered.

‘Your dad wants to see you when you come down,’ Mrs. Yule whispered.

‘I’ll go to him.’

"I'll go see him."

Marian entered the study. Her father was not in his place at the writing-table, nor yet seated in the chair which he used when he had leisure to draw up to the fireside; he sat in front of one of the bookcases, bent forward as if seeking a volume, but his chin was propped upon his hand, and he had maintained this position for a long time. He did not immediately move. When he raised his head Marian saw that he looked older, and she noticed—or fancied she did—that there was some unfamiliar peculiarity about his eyes.

Marian walked into the study. Her father wasn’t at his writing desk, nor was he in the chair he usually pulled up to the fireplace when he had time to relax; he was sitting in front of one of the bookcases, leaning forward as if he was searching for a book, but his chin rested in his hand, and he had been in that position for a long time. He didn’t move right away. When he finally lifted his head, Marian noticed that he seemed older, and she thought—or at least hoped—there was something strange about his eyes.

‘I am obliged to you for coming,’ he began with distant formality. ‘Since I saw you last I have learnt something which makes a change in my position and prospects, and it is necessary to speak on the subject. I won’t detain you more than a few minutes.’

‘I appreciate you coming,’ he started with a formal tone. ‘Since I last saw you, I’ve learned something that changes my situation and future, and it’s important to discuss it. I won’t keep you for more than a few minutes.’

He coughed, and seemed to consider his next words.

He coughed and looked like he was thinking about what to say next.

‘Perhaps I needn’t repeat what I have told your mother. You have learnt it from her, I dare say.’

‘Maybe I don't need to go over what I’ve already told your mom. You’ve probably heard it from her, I assume.’

‘Yes, with much grief.’

"Yes, with a lot of sorrow."

‘Thank you, but we will leave aside that aspect of the matter. For a few more months I may be able to pursue my ordinary work, but before long I shall certainly be disabled from earning my livelihood by literature. Whether this will in any way affect your own position I don’t know. Will you have the goodness to tell me whether you still purpose leaving this house?’

‘Thank you, but let's put that part of the discussion aside. For a few more months, I might still be able to carry on with my usual work, but soon I’ll definitely be unable to support myself through writing. I’m not sure how this will impact your situation. Could you please let me know if you still plan on leaving this house?’

‘I have no means of doing so.’

‘I have no way to do that.’

‘Is there any likelihood of your marriage taking place, let us say, within four months?’

‘Is there any chance your marriage will happen, let's say, within four months?’

‘Only if the executors recover my money, or a large portion of it.’

‘Only if the executors get my money back, or a big part of it.’

‘I understand. My reason for asking is this. My lease of this house terminates at the end of next March, and I shall certainly not be justified in renewing it. If you are able to provide for yourself in any way it will be sufficient for me to rent two rooms after that. This disease which affects my eyes may be only temporary; in due time an operation may render it possible for me to work again. In hope of that I shall probably have to borrow a sum of money on the security of my life insurance, though in the first instance I shall make the most of what I can get for the furniture of the house and a large part of my library; your mother and I could live at very slight expense in lodgings. If the disease prove irremediable, I must prepare myself for the worst. What I wish to say is, that it will be better if from to-day you consider yourself as working for your own subsistence. So long as I remain here this house is of course your home; there can be no question between us of trivial expenses. But it is right that you should understand what my prospects are. I shall soon have no home to offer you; you must look to your own efforts for support.’

‘I understand. The reason I’m asking is this. My lease for this house ends at the end of next March, and I definitely won’t be able to renew it. If you can take care of yourself in any way, I’ll only need to rent two rooms after that. The issue with my eyes might just be temporary; eventually, an operation could allow me to work again. In anticipation of that, I’ll likely have to borrow some money against my life insurance, but first, I’ll try to sell what I can from the furniture and a significant part of my library; your mother and I could live very cheaply in lodgings. If the condition turns out to be irreversible, I need to prepare for the worst. What I want to say is that starting today, it’s better for you to think of yourself as needing to support yourself. As long as I’m here, this house is your home; we won’t have any issues over small expenses. But it’s important that you understand what my situation is. I won’t have a home to offer you for much longer; you need to rely on your own efforts for support.’

‘I am prepared to do that, father.’

‘I’m ready to do that, Dad.’

‘I think you will have no great difficulty in earning enough for yourself. I have done my best to train you in writing for the periodicals, and your natural abilities are considerable. If you marry, I wish you a happy life. The end of mine, of many long years of unremitting toil, is failure and destitution.’

‘I think you won’t have much trouble earning enough for yourself. I’ve done my best to train you in writing for magazines, and you have significant natural talent. If you get married, I wish you a happy life. The end of my many years of hard work has resulted in failure and poverty.’

Marian sobbed.

Marian cried.

‘That’s all I had to say,’ concluded her father, his voice tremulous with self-compassion. ‘I will only beg that there may be no further profitless discussion between us. This room is open to you, as always, and I see no reason why we should not converse on subjects disconnected with our personal differences.’

‘That’s everything I wanted to say,’ her father finished, his voice shaking with self-pity. ‘I just ask that we don’t have any more pointless arguments. This room is always open to you, and I see no reason why we can’t talk about things unrelated to our personal issues.’

‘Is there no remedy for cataract in its early stages?’ asked Marian.

‘Is there no treatment for cataracts in their early stages?’ asked Marian.

‘None. You can read up the subject for yourself at the British Museum. I prefer not to speak of it.’

‘None. You can read up on the subject for yourself at the British Museum. I prefer not to talk about it.’

‘Will you let me be what help to you I can?’

‘Will you let me help you in any way I can?’

‘For the present the best you can do is to establish a connection for yourself with editors. Your name will be an assistance to you. My advice is, that you send your “Harrington” article forthwith to Trenchard, writing him a note. If you desire my help in the suggestion of new subjects, I will do my best to be of use.’

‘For now, the best thing you can do is connect with editors. Your name will help you. My advice is to send your “Harrington” article immediately to Trenchard, along with a note. If you want my help suggesting new topics, I'll do my best to assist you.’

Marian withdrew. She went to the sitting-room, where an ochreous daylight was beginning to diffuse itself and to render the lamp superfluous. With the dissipation of the fog rain had set in; its splashing upon the muddy pavement was audible.

Marian stepped back. She went to the living room, where a yellowish light was starting to spread, making the lamp unnecessary. As the fog cleared, it started to rain; the sound of droplets hitting the muddy pavement was clear.

Mrs Yule, still with a duster in her hand, sat on the sofa. Marian took a place beside her. They talked in low, broken tones, and wept together over their miseries.

Mrs. Yule, still holding a duster, sat on the sofa. Marian took a seat next to her. They spoke in quiet, fragmented tones and cried together about their troubles.





CHAPTER XXXI. A RESCUE AND A SUMMONS

The chances are that you have neither understanding nor sympathy for men such as Edwin Reardon and Harold Biffen. They merely provoke you. They seem to you inert, flabby, weakly envious, foolishly obstinate, impiously mutinous, and many other things. You are made angrily contemptuous by their failure to get on; why don’t they bestir themselves, push and bustle, welcome kicks so long as halfpence follow, make place in the world’s eye—in short, take a leaf from the book of Mr Jasper Milvain?

You probably have no understanding or sympathy for men like Edwin Reardon and Harold Biffen. They just annoy you. To you, they seem lazy, weak, enviously petty, foolishly stubborn, rebelliously impudent, and a lot of other things. Their inability to succeed makes you angrily scornful; why don’t they do something, hustle and strive, welcome challenges as long as there's money in it, make a name for themselves—in short, learn from Mr. Jasper Milvain?

But try to imagine a personality wholly unfitted for the rough and tumble of the world’s labour-market. From the familiar point of view these men were worthless; view them in possible relation to a humane order of Society, and they are admirable citizens. Nothing is easier than to condemn a type of character which is unequal to the coarse demands of life as it suits the average man. These two were richly endowed with the kindly and the imaginative virtues; if fate threw them amid incongruous circumstances, is their endowment of less value? You scorn their passivity; but it was their nature and their merit to be passive.

But try to picture a personality completely unsuited for the harsh realities of the job market. From the usual perspective, these men seemed worthless; but if you look at them in terms of a compassionate society, they are commendable citizens. It’s easy to criticize a personality that can't handle the tough demands of life as it is for the average person. These two were richly blessed with kindness and imagination; if fate placed them in mismatched situations, does that make their qualities any less valuable? You might dismiss their passivity, but it was both their nature and their strength to be passive.

Gifted with independent means, each of them would have taken quite a different aspect in your eyes. The sum of their faults was their inability to earn money; but, indeed, that inability does not call for unmingled disdain.

Gifted with independent means, each of them would have appeared quite different in your eyes. Their main flaw was their inability to earn money; however, that inability doesn’t deserve complete disdain.

It was very weak of Harold Biffen to come so near perishing of hunger as he did in the days when he was completing his novel. But he would have vastly preferred to eat and be satisfied had any method of obtaining food presented itself to him. He did not starve for the pleasure of the thing, I assure you. Pupils were difficult to get just now, and writing that he had sent to magazines had returned upon his hands. He pawned such of his possessions as he could spare, and he reduced his meals to the minimum. Nor was he uncheerful in his cold garret and with his empty stomach, for ‘Mr Bailey, Grocer,’ drew steadily to an end.

It was very weak of Harold Biffen to come so close to starving as he did while finishing his novel. But he would have much preferred to eat and be satisfied if any way to get food had come up. He wasn’t starving just for the hell of it, I promise you. Students were hard to find right now, and the pieces he’d sent to magazines had bounced back to him. He pawned whatever he could spare and cut his meals down to the bare minimum. Still, he wasn’t downbeat in his cold attic and with his empty stomach, because ‘Mr. Bailey, Grocer’ was steadily nearing its conclusion.

He worked very slowly. The book would make perhaps two volumes of ordinary novel size, but he had laboured over it for many months, patiently, affectionately, scrupulously. Each sentence was as good as he could make it, harmonious to the ear, with words of precious meaning skilfully set. Before sitting down to a chapter he planned it minutely in his mind; then he wrote a rough draft of it; then he elaborated the thing phrase by phrase. He had no thought of whether such toil would be recompensed in coin of the realm; nay, it was his conviction that, if with difficulty published, it could scarcely bring him money. The work must be significant, that was all he cared for. And he had no society of admiring friends to encourage him. Reardon understood the merit of the workmanship, but frankly owned that the book was repulsive to him. To the public it would be worse than repulsive—tedious, utterly uninteresting. No matter; it drew to its end.

He worked very slowly. The book would probably fill two volumes of regular novel size, but he had spent many months on it, carefully, passionately, and meticulously. Each sentence was the best he could make it, pleasing to the ear, with words of deep meaning skillfully arranged. Before starting a chapter, he planned it out thoroughly in his mind; then he wrote a rough draft; after that, he refined it phrase by phrase. He never considered whether such effort would reward him financially; in fact, he believed that, even if published at great cost, it wouldn't bring him much money. What mattered to him was that the work had significance. And he didn’t have a circle of admiring friends to support him. Reardon recognized the quality of the craftsmanship but honestly admitted that the book repulsed him. To the public, it would be even more than repulsive—it would be boring, completely uninteresting. No matter; it was nearing completion.

The day of its completion was made memorable by an event decidedly more exciting, even to the author.

The day it was finished became memorable because of an event that was definitely more exciting, even for the author.

At eight o’clock in the evening there remained half a page to be written. Biffen had already worked about nine hours, and on breaking off to appease his hunger he doubted whether to finish to-night or to postpone the last lines till tomorrow. The discovery that only a small crust of bread lay in the cupboard decided him to write no more; he would have to go out to purchase a loaf and that was disturbance.

At eight o’clock in the evening, there was still half a page left to write. Biffen had already worked for about nine hours, and as he took a break to satisfy his hunger, he wondered whether to finish tonight or put off the last lines until tomorrow. The realization that only a small piece of bread was left in the cupboard made up his mind; he would have to go out to buy a loaf, and he didn't want that interruption.

But stay; had he enough money? He searched his pockets. Two pence and two farthings; no more.

But wait; did he have enough money? He checked his pockets. Two pence and two farthings; nothing else.

You are probably not aware that at bakers’ shops in the poor quarters the price of the half-quartern loaf varies sometimes from week to week. At present, as Biffen knew, it was twopence three-farthings, a common figure. But Harold did not possess three farthings, only two. Reflecting, he remembered to have passed yesterday a shop where the bread was marked twopence halfpenny; it was a shop in a very obscure little street off Hampstead Road, some distance from Clipstone Street. Thither he must repair. He had only his hat and a muffler to put on, for again he was wearing his overcoat in default of the under one, and his ragged umbrella to take from the corner; so he went forth.

You probably don’t realize that at bakeries in the poorer neighborhoods, the price of a half-quartern loaf can change from week to week. Right now, as Biffen knew, it was two pence and three farthings, which is a common price. But Harold didn’t have three farthings, just two. Thinking it over, he remembered passing a shop yesterday where the bread was priced at two pence and a halfpenny; it was in a very obscure little street off Hampstead Road, not far from Clipstone Street. He had to go there. He only needed to put on his hat and a scarf since he was again wearing his overcoat instead of the undercoat, and he grabbed his ragged umbrella from the corner; then he stepped out.

To his delight the twopence halfpenny announcement was still in the baker’s window. He obtained a loaf wrapped it in the piece of paper he had brought—small bakers decline to supply paper for this purpose—and strode joyously homeward again.

To his delight, the two and a half pence sign was still in the baker’s window. He got a loaf, wrapped it in the piece of paper he had brought—small bakers don’t provide paper for this—and walked joyfully home again.

Having eaten, he looked longingly at his manuscript. But half a page more. Should he not finish it to-night? The temptation was irresistible. He sat down, wrought with unusual speed, and at half-past ten wrote with magnificent flourish ‘The End.’

Having eaten, he looked longingly at his manuscript. But just half a page more. Shouldn't he finish it tonight? The temptation was too strong to resist. He sat down, worked with unusual speed, and at half-past ten wrote with a grand flourish, ‘The End.’

His fire was out and he had neither coals nor wood. But his feet were frozen into lifelessness. Impossible to go to bed like this; he must take another turn in the streets. It would suit his humour to ramble a while. Had it not been so late he would have gone to see Reardon, who expected the communication of this glorious news.

His fire was out, and he had no coals or wood. But his feet were frozen stiff. It was impossible to go to bed like this; he needed to walk around a bit. It might lift his spirits to wander for a while. If it hadn't been so late, he would have gone to see Reardon, who was waiting for him to share this exciting news.

So again he locked his door. Half-way downstairs he stumbled over something or somebody in the dark.

So he locked his door again. Halfway down the stairs, he tripped over something or someone in the dark.

‘Who is that?’ he cried.

“Who’s that?” he cried.

The answer was a loud snore. Biffen went to the bottom of the house and called to the landlady.

The answer was a loud snore. Biffen went to the bottom of the house and called out to the landlady.

‘Mrs Willoughby! Who is asleep on the stairs?’

‘Mrs. Willoughby! Who's sleeping on the stairs?’

‘Why, I ‘spect it’s Mr Briggs,’ replied the woman, indulgently. ‘Don’t you mind him, Mr Biffen. There’s no ‘arm: he’s only had a little too much. I’ll go up an’ make him go to bed as soon as I’ve got my ‘ands clean.’

‘Well, I guess it’s Mr. Briggs,’ replied the woman, kindly. ‘Don’t worry about him, Mr. Biffen. He means no harm; he’s just had a little too much to drink. I’ll go upstairs and get him to bed as soon as I’ve washed my hands.’

‘The necessity for waiting till then isn’t obvious,’ remarked the realist with a chuckle, and went his way.

‘The need to wait until then isn’t clear,’ the realist said with a laugh, and walked away.

He walked at a sharp pace for more than an hour, and about midnight drew near to his own quarter again. He had just turned up by the Middlesex Hospital, and was at no great distance from Clipstone Street, when a yell and scamper caught his attention; a group of loafing blackguards on the opposite side of the way had suddenly broken up, and as they rushed off he heard the word ‘Fire!’ This was too common an occurrence to disturb his equanimity; he wondered absently in which street the fire might be, but trudged on without a thought of making investigation. Repeated yells and rushes, however, assailed his apathy. Two women came tearing by him, and he shouted to them: ‘Where is it?’

He walked quickly for over an hour, and around midnight, he was getting close to his side of town again. He had just passed the Middlesex Hospital and was not far from Clipstone Street when he heard a shout and running that grabbed his attention; a group of lazy troublemakers across the street suddenly scattered, and as they ran off, he heard someone shout ‘Fire!’ This was a pretty normal occurrence, so it didn’t shake him much; he wondered absentmindedly where the fire might be but kept walking without bothering to check it out. However, repeated shouts and chaos started to break through his indifference. Two women rushed past him, and he called out to them: ‘Where is it?’

‘In Clipstone Street, they say,’ one screamed back.

‘They say it’s on Clipstone Street,’ one shouted back.

He could no longer be unconcerned. If in his own street the conflagration might be in the very house he inhabited, and in that case—— He set off at a run. Ahead of him was a thickening throng, its position indicating the entrance to Clipstone Street. Soon he found his progress retarded; he had to dodge this way and that, to force progress, to guard himself against overthrows by the torrent of ruffiandom which always breaks forth at the cry of fire. He could now smell the smoke, and all at once a black volume of it, bursting from upper windows, alarmed his sight. At once he was aware that, if not his own dwelling, it must be one of those on either side that was in flames. As yet no engine had arrived, and straggling policemen were only just beginning to make their way to the scene of uproar. By dint of violent effort Biffen moved forward yard by yard. A tongue of flame which suddenly illumined the fronts of the houses put an end to his doubt.

He could no longer remain indifferent. If there was a fire in his own street, it could be in the very house he lived in, and in that case— He took off running. In front of him, a thick crowd was gathering, leading to Clipstone Street. Soon, his progress slowed; he had to weave through the people, push his way forward, and protect himself from being knocked over by the surge of chaos that always erupts at the shout of fire. He could smell the smoke now, and suddenly, a thick plume of it burst from the upper windows, catching his eye. He realized that if it wasn't his own home, it had to be one of the houses on either side that was on fire. No fire truck had arrived yet, and a few scattered policemen were just starting to make their way to the scene of the commotion. With great effort, Biffen moved forward inch by inch. A flare of flames that suddenly lit up the front of the houses eliminated any doubt he had.

‘Let me get past!’ he shouted to the gaping and swaying mass of people in front of him. ‘I live there! I must go upstairs to save something!’

‘Let me through!’ he shouted to the crowd of people in front of him. ‘I live there! I need to go upstairs to save something!’

His educated accent moved attention. Repeating the demand again and again he succeeded in getting forward, and at length was near enough to see that people were dragging articles of furniture out on to the pavement.

His educated accent caught people's attention. By repeating the request over and over, he managed to move closer, and finally, he was close enough to see that people were pulling furniture out onto the sidewalk.

‘That you, Mr Biffen?’ cried someone to him.

‘Is that you, Mr. Biffen?’ someone called out to him.

He recognised the face of a fellow-lodger.

He recognized the face of someone staying in the same lodge.

‘Is it possible to get up to my room?’ broke frantically from his lips.

“Is there any way to get to my room?” he said desperately.

‘You’ll never get up there. It’s that—Briggs’—the epithet was alliterative—‘’as upset his lamp, and I ‘ope he’ll—well get roasted to death.’

‘You’ll never make it up there. It’s that—Briggs’—the nickname was catchy—‘he’s upset his lamp, and I hope he’ll—well, get roasted to death.’

Biffen leaped on to the threshold, and crashed against Mrs Willoughby, the landlady, who was carrying a huge bundle of household linen.

Biffen jumped onto the doorway and bumped into Mrs. Willoughby, the landlady, who was carrying a big bundle of household linens.

‘I told you to look after that drunken brute;’ he said to her. ‘Can I get upstairs?’

‘I told you to keep an eye on that drunken jerk,’ he said to her. ‘Can I get upstairs?’

‘What do I care whether you can or not!’ the woman shrieked. ‘My God! And all them new chairs as I bought—!’

‘What do I care if you can or can’t!’ the woman yelled. ‘My God! And all those new chairs I bought—!’

He heard no more, but bounded over a confusion of obstacles, and in a moment was on the landing of the first storey. Here he encountered a man who had not lost his head, a stalwart mechanic engaged in slipping clothes on to two little children.

He didn’t hear anything else, but jumped over a mess of obstacles, and in a moment was on the landing of the first floor. There he met a guy who remained calm, a strong mechanic busy putting clothes on two little kids.

‘If somebody don’t drag that fellow Briggs down he’ll be dead,’ observed the man. ‘He’s layin’ outside his door. I pulled him out, but I can’t do no more for him.’

‘If someone doesn’t drag that guy Briggs down, he’s going to be dead,’ the man said. ‘He’s lying outside his door. I pulled him out, but I can’t do anything else for him.’

Smoke grew thick on the staircase. Burning was as yet confined to that front room on the second floor tenanted by Briggs the disastrous, but in all likelihood the ceiling was ablaze, and if so it would be all but impossible for Biffen to gain his own chamber, which was at the back on the floor above. No one was making an attempt to extinguish the fire; personal safety and the rescue of their possessions alone occupied the thoughts of such people as were still in the house. Desperate with the dread of losing his manuscript, his toil, his one hope, the realist scarcely stayed to listen to a warning that the fumes were impassable; with head bent he rushed up to the next landing. There lay Briggs, perchance already stifled, and through the open door Biffen had a horrible vision of furnace fury. To go yet higher would have been madness but for one encouragement: he knew that on his own storey was a ladder giving access to a trap-door, by which he might issue on to the roof, whence escape to the adjacent houses would be practicable. Again a leap forward!

Smoke thickened on the staircase. The fire was still mostly limited to the front room on the second floor occupied by Briggs, the unfortunate tenant, but the ceiling was probably on fire too, and if that was the case, it would be nearly impossible for Biffen to reach his own room, which was at the back on the floor above. No one was trying to put out the fire; people still in the house were only focused on their own safety and saving their belongings. Overwhelmed by the fear of losing his manuscript, his hard work, his only hope, the realist hardly paid attention to warnings that the smoke was unbearable; with his head down, he rushed up to the next landing. There lay Briggs, perhaps already suffocated, and through the open door, Biffen caught a terrifying glimpse of the raging flames. Going any higher would have been insane, but there was one glimmer of hope: he knew there was a ladder on his floor leading to a trap-door that could get him onto the roof, from where he could escape to the nearby houses. Again, he pushed forward!

In fact, not two minutes elapsed from his commencing the ascent of the stairs to the moment when, all but fainting, he thrust the key into his door and fell forward into purer air. Fell, for he was on his knees, and had begun to suffer from a sense of failing power, a sick whirling of the brain, a terror of hideous death. His manuscript was on the table, where he had left it after regarding and handling it with joyful self-congratulation; though it was pitch dark in the room, he could at once lay his hand on the heap of paper. Now he had it; now it was jammed tight under his left arm; now he was out again on the landing, in smoke more deadly than ever.

In fact, not even two minutes passed from when he started climbing the stairs to when, nearly fainting, he shoved the key into his door and collapsed into fresher air. He fell to his knees, feeling a sense of weakness, a sick spinning in his head, and a terrifying fear of a terrible death. His manuscript was on the table, where he had left it after looking at and handling it with happy pride; even though the room was pitch black, he could easily find the stack of papers. Now he had it; now it was tightly squeezed under his left arm; now he was back out in the hallway, surrounded by smoke thicker than ever.

He said to himself: ‘If I cannot instantly break out by the trap-door it’s all over with me.’ That the exit would open to a vigorous thrust he knew, having amused himself not long ago by going on to the roof. He touched the ladder, sprang upwards, and felt the trap above him. But he could not push it back. ‘I’m a dead man,’ flashed across his mind, ‘and all for the sake of “Mr Bailey, Grocer.”’ A frenzied effort, the last of which his muscles were capable, and the door yielded. His head was now through the aperture, and though the smoke swept up about him, that gasp of cold air gave him strength to throw himself on the flat portion of the roof that he had reached.

He thought to himself, “If I can’t get out through the trapdoor right away, it’s all over for me.” He knew that the exit would open with a strong push, having entertained himself not too long ago by climbing up to the roof. He grabbed the ladder, jumped up, and felt the trap above him. But he couldn’t push it open. “I’m a dead man,” raced through his mind, “and all because of ‘Mr. Bailey, Grocer.’” In a desperate last effort, the final strength his muscles could muster, the door finally gave way. His head was now through the opening, and even though smoke swirled around him, that rush of cold air gave him the energy to throw himself onto the flat part of the roof he had reached.

So for a minute or two he lay. Then he was able to stand, to survey his position, and to walk along by the parapet. He looked down upon the surging and shouting crowd in Clipstone Street, but could see it only at intervals, owing to the smoke that rolled from the front windows below him.

So for a minute or two, he lay there. Then he managed to stand, check his surroundings, and walk along the edge. He glanced down at the roaring and shouting crowd in Clipstone Street, but could only see it occasionally because of the smoke billowing from the windows below him.

What he had now to do he understood perfectly. This roof was divided from those on either hand by a stack of chimneys; to get round the end of these stacks was impossible, or at all events too dangerous a feat unless it were the last resource, but by climbing to the apex of the slates he would be able to reach the chimney-pots, to drag himself up to them, and somehow to tumble over on to the safer side. To this undertaking he forthwith addressed himself. Without difficulty he reached the ridge; standing on it he found that only by stretching his arm to the utmost could he grip the top of a chimney-pot. Had he the strength necessary to raise himself by such a hold? And suppose the pot broke?

What he needed to do now was clear to him. This roof was separated from the ones on either side by a row of chimneys; it was impossible to go around these stacks, or at least it was too risky unless it was absolutely necessary. However, by climbing up to the peak of the roof, he could reach the chimney pots, pull himself up to them, and somehow roll over to the safer side. He immediately set to work on this. Climbing to the ridge was easy; once there, he realized that he could only grab the top of a chimney pot by stretching his arm as far as it could go. Did he have the strength to lift himself using that grip? And what if the pot broke?

His life was still in danger; the increasing volumes of smoke warned him that in a few minutes the uppermost storey might be in flames. He took off his overcoat to allow himself more freedom of action; the manuscript, now an encumbrance, must precede him over the chimney-stack, and there was only one way of effecting that. With care he stowed the papers into the pockets of the coat; then he rolled the garment together, tied it up in its own sleeves, took a deliberate aim—and the bundle was for the present in safety.

His life was still at risk; the growing smoke warned him that in a few minutes the top floor could be on fire. He took off his coat to give himself more freedom to move; the manuscript, now a burden, had to go ahead of him over the chimney stack, and there was only one way to make that happen. Carefully, he stuffed the papers into the pockets of his coat; then he rolled the garment up, tied it in its own sleeves, took careful aim—and the bundle was safe for the moment.

Now for the gymnastic endeavour. Standing on tiptoe, he clutched the rim of the chimney-pot, and strove to raise himself. The hold was firm enough, but his arms were far too puny to perform such work, even when death would be the penalty of failure. Too long he had lived on insufficient food and sat over the debilitating desk. He swung this way and that, trying to throw one of his knees as high as the top of the brickwork, but there was no chance of his succeeding. Dropping on to the slates, he sat there in perturbation.

Now for the gymnastic challenge. Standing on tiptoe, he grabbed the edge of the chimney pot and tried to pull himself up. His grip was steady, but his arms were too weak for the task, even with the threat of death hanging over him. He had spent too long eating too little and hunched over a tiring desk. He swung this way and that, attempting to get one of his knees up to the top of the bricks, but there was no way he could manage it. Dropping down onto the slates, he sat there in distress.

He must cry for help. In front it was scarcely possible to stand by the parapet, owing to the black clouds of smoke, now mingled with sparks; perchance he might attract the notice of some person either in the yards behind or at the back windows of other houses. The night was so obscure that he could not hope to be seen; voice alone must be depended upon, and there was no certainty that it would be heard far enough. Though he stood in his shirt-sleeves in a bitter wind no sense of cold affected him; his face was beaded with perspiration drawn forth by his futile struggle to climb. He let himself slide down the rear slope, and, holding by the end of the chimney brickwork, looked into the yards. At the same instant a face appeared to him—that of a man who was trying to obtain a glimpse of this roof from that of the next house by thrusting out his head beyond the block of chimneys.

He had to call for help. It was nearly impossible to stand by the edge because of the thick smoke mixed with sparks. Maybe he could catch the attention of someone in the yards behind or at the back windows of nearby houses. The night was so dark that he couldn't expect to be seen; he could only rely on his voice, and even that wasn't guaranteed to carry far enough. Although he stood in his shirt sleeves in the freezing wind, he didn't feel cold at all; his face was slick with sweat from his exhausting attempts to climb. He slid down the back slope and, gripping the end of the chimney bricks, peered into the yards. At that moment, he noticed a face—a man trying to get a look at his roof from the next house by leaning out past the block of chimneys.

‘Hollo!’ cried the stranger. ‘What are you doing there?’

‘Hello!’ shouted the stranger. ‘What are you doing there?’

‘Trying to escape, of course. Help me to get on to your roof.’

‘Trying to escape, obviously. Help me get onto your roof.’

‘By God! I expected to see the fire coming through already. Are you the—as upset his lamp an’ fired the bloomin’ ‘ouse?’

‘By God! I thought I’d see the fire coming through by now. Did you—upset your lamp and set the whole place on fire?’

‘Not I! He’s lying drunk on the stairs; dead by this time.’

‘Not me! He’s passed out drunk on the stairs; probably dead by now.’

‘By God! I wouldn’t have helped you if you’d been him. How are you coming round? Blest if I see! You’ll break your bloomin’ neck if you try this corner. You’ll have to come over the chimneys; wait till I get a ladder.’

‘By God! I wouldn’t have helped you if you were him. How are you getting around? I honestly can’t tell! You’ll break your neck if you try that corner. You’ll have to go over the rooftops; wait until I get a ladder.’

‘And a rope,’ shouted Biffen.

"Get a rope!" shouted Biffen.

The man disappeared for five minutes. To Biffen it seemed half an hour; he felt, or imagined he felt, the slates getting hot beneath him, and the smoke was again catching his breath. But at length there was a shout from the top of the chimney-stack. The rescuer had seated himself on one of the pots, and was about to lower on Biffen’s side a ladder which had enabled him to ascend from the other. Biffen planted the lowest rung very carefully on the ridge of the roof, climbed as lightly as possible, got a footing between two pots; the ladder was then pulled over, and both men descended in safety.

The man was gone for five minutes. To Biffen, it felt like half an hour; he felt, or thought he felt, the slates getting hot beneath him, and the smoke was once again catching in his throat. But finally, there was a shout from the top of the chimney. The rescuer had perched himself on one of the pots and was about to lower a ladder on Biffen’s side, which he had used to climb up from the other side. Biffen carefully placed the lowest rung on the ridge of the roof, climbed as lightly as he could, and found his footing between two pots; then the ladder was shifted over, and both men got down safely.

‘Have you seen a coat lying about here?’ was Biffen’s first question. ‘I threw mine over.’

‘Have you seen a coat lying around here?’ was Biffen’s first question. ‘I threw mine over.’

‘What did you do that for?’

'Why would you do that?'

‘There are some valuable papers in the pockets.’

‘There are some important papers in the pockets.’

They searched in vain; on neither side of the roof was the coat discoverable.

They searched in vain; the coat couldn’t be found on either side of the roof.

‘You must have pitched it into the street,’ said the man.

‘You must have thrown it into the street,’ said the man.

This was a terrible blow; Biffen forgot his rescue from destruction in lament for the loss of his manuscript. He would have pursued the fruitless search, but his companion, who feared that the fire might spread to adjoining houses, insisted on his passing through the trap-door and descending the stairs.‘If the coat fell into the street,’ Biffen said, when they were down on the ground floor, ‘of course it’s lost; it would be stolen at once. But may not it have fallen into your back yard?’

This was a terrible setback; Biffen forgot about his escape from disaster while mourning the loss of his manuscript. He would have continued the pointless search, but his companion, worried that the fire might spread to nearby houses, urged him to go through the trap door and head down the stairs. "If the coat fell into the street," Biffen said when they reached the ground floor, "then it's definitely lost; someone would steal it right away. But could it have possibly fallen into your backyard?"

He was standing in the midst of a cluster of alarmed people, who stared at him in astonishment, for the reek through which he had fought his way had given him the aspect of a sweep. His suggestion prompted someone to run into the yard, with the result that a muddy bundle was brought in and exhibited to him.

He was standing in the middle of a group of shocked people, who looked at him in disbelief, as the stench he had pushed through made him look like a chimney sweep. His suggestion led someone to dash into the yard, resulting in a muddy bundle being brought in and shown to him.

‘Is this your coat, Mister?’

‘Is this your coat, sir?’

‘Heaven be thanked! That’s it! There are valuable papers in the pockets.’

‘Thank goodness! That’s it! There are important papers in the pockets.’

He unrolled the garment, felt to make sure that ‘Mr Bailey’ was safe, and finally put it on.

He took the garment out, checked to ensure that 'Mr. Bailey' was safe, and finally put it on.

‘Will anyone here let me sit down in a room and give me a drink of water?’ he asked, feeling now as if he must drop with exhaustion.

‘Will anyone here let me sit down in a room and give me a drink of water?’ he asked, feeling now as if he might collapse from exhaustion.

The man who had rescued him performed this further kindness, and for half an hour, whilst tumult indescribable raged about him, Biffen sat recovering his strength. By that time the firemen were hard at work, but one floor of the burning house had already fallen through, and it was probable that nothing but the shell would be saved. After giving a full account of himself to the people among whom he had come, Harold declared his intention of departing; his need of repose was imperative, and he could not hope for it in this proximity to the fire. As he had no money, his only course was to inquire for a room at some house in the immediate neighbourhood, where the people would receive him in a charitable spirit.

The man who had saved him showed him even more kindness, and for half an hour, while chaos raged around him, Biffen sat regaining his strength. By that time, the firefighters were hard at work, but one floor of the burning house had already collapsed, and it seemed likely that only the outer walls would be salvaged. After giving a complete account of himself to the people around him, Harold said he planned to leave; he desperately needed rest, and he couldn’t expect to find it near the fire. Since he had no money, his only option was to ask for a room at a nearby house, hoping the residents would take him in out of charity.

With the aid of the police he passed to where the crowd was thinner, and came out into Cleveland Street. Here most of the house-doors were open, and he made several applications for hospitality, but either his story was doubted or his grimy appearance predisposed people against him. At length, when again his strength was all but at an end, he made appeal to a policeman.

With the help of the police, he moved to an area where the crowd was less dense and emerged onto Cleveland Street. Most of the front doors were open, and he tried several times to find a place to stay, but either people didn't believe his story or his dirty appearance made them hesitant to help him. Finally, when he was almost out of strength, he asked a police officer for assistance.

‘Surely you can tell,’ he protested, after explaining his position, ‘that I don’t want to cheat anybody. I shall have money to-morrow. If no one will take me in you must haul me on some charge to the police-station; I shall have to lie down on the pavement in a minute.’

‘You must understand,’ he insisted after explaining his situation, ‘that I don’t want to rip anyone off. I’ll have money tomorrow. If no one will help me, you’ll have to drag me to the police station on some charge; I’ll have to lie down on the sidewalk any minute now.’

The officer recognised a man who was standing half-dressed on a threshold close by; he stepped up to him and made representations which were successful. In a few minutes Biffen took possession of an underground room furnished as a bedchamber, which he agreed to rent for a week. His landlord was not ungracious, and went so far as to supply him with warm water, that he might in a measure cleanse himself. This operation rapidly performed, the hapless author flung himself into bed, and before long was fast asleep.

The officer recognized a man who was standing half-dressed in a doorway nearby; he approached him and made suggestions that worked. In a few minutes, Biffen moved into an underground room set up as a bedroom, which he agreed to rent for a week. His landlord was quite accommodating and even provided him with warm water so he could clean himself up. After quickly washing, the unfortunate author collapsed into bed and soon fell fast asleep.

When he went upstairs about nine o’clock in the morning he discovered that his host kept an oil-shop.

When he went upstairs around nine in the morning, he found out that his host ran an oil shop.

‘Lost everything, have you?’ asked the man sympathetically.

“Lost everything, have you?” the man asked with sympathy.

‘Everything, except the clothes I wear and some papers that I managed to save. All my books burnt!’

‘Everything is gone, except for the clothes I’m wearing and some papers that I managed to save. All my books are burnt!’

Biffen shook his head dolorously.

Biffen shook his head sadly.

‘Your account-books!’ cried the dealer in oil. ‘Dear, dear!—and what might your business be?’

‘Your account books!’ exclaimed the oil dealer. ‘Oh my!—what do you do for a living?’

The author corrected this misapprehension. In the end he was invited to break his fast, which he did right willingly. Then, with assurances that he would return before nightfall, he left the house. His steps were naturally first directed to Clipstone Street; the familiar abode was a gruesome ruin, still smoking. Neighbours informed him that Mr Briggs’s body had been brought forth in a horrible condition; but this was the only loss of life that had happened.

The author cleared up this misunderstanding. In the end, he was invited to have something to eat, which he accepted gladly. Then, after promising he would be back before dark, he left the house. Naturally, his first stop was Clipstone Street; the familiar place was a disturbing wreck, still smoldering. Neighbors told him that Mr. Briggs’s body had been taken out in a terrible state, but this was the only death that had occurred.

Thence he struck eastward, and at eleven came to Manville Street, Islington. He found Reardon by the fireside, looking very ill, and speaking with hoarseness.

Thence he headed east and arrived at Manville Street, Islington, at eleven. He found Reardon by the fireplace, looking very unwell and speaking with a raspy voice.

‘Another cold?’

“Another drink?”

‘It looks like it. I wish you would take the trouble to go and buy me some vermin-killer. That would suit my case.’

‘It looks like it. I wish you would take the time to go and buy me some pest control. That would work for me.’

‘Then what would suit mine? Behold me, undeniably a philosopher; in the literal sense of the words omnia mea mecum porto.’

‘So what would be right for me? Look at me, clearly a philosopher; in the literal sense of the words omnia mea mecum porto.’

He recounted his adventures, and with such humorous vivacity that when he ceased the two laughed together as if nothing more amusing had ever been heard.

He shared his adventures with such lively humor that when he finished, the two laughed together as if nothing more entertaining had ever been heard.

‘Ah, but my books, my books!’ exclaimed Biffen, with a genuine groan. ‘And all my notes! At one fell swoop! If I didn’t laugh, old friend, I should sit down and cry; indeed I should. All my classics, with years of scribbling in the margins! How am I to buy them again?’

‘Ah, but my books, my books!’ Biffen said with a real groan. ‘And all my notes! Just like that! If I didn’t laugh, my old friend, I would sit down and cry; I really would. All my classics, with years of scribbles in the margins! How am I supposed to buy them again?’

‘You rescued “Mr Bailey.” He must repay you.’

‘You saved “Mr. Bailey.” He needs to repay you.’

Biffen had already laid the manuscript on the table; it was dirty and crumpled, but not to such an extent as to render copying necessary. Lovingly he smoothed the pages and set them in order, then he wrapped the whole in a piece of brown paper which Reardon supplied, and wrote upon it the address of a firm of publishers.

Biffen had already placed the manuscript on the table; it was dirty and wrinkled, but not enough to make copying necessary. Gently, he smoothed the pages and arranged them, then he wrapped the whole thing in a piece of brown paper that Reardon provided and wrote the address of a publishing company on it.

‘Have you note-paper? I’ll write to them; impossible to call in my present guise.’

‘Do you have any note paper? I’ll write to them; it’s impossible to call in my current state.’

Indeed his attire was more like that of a bankrupt costermonger than of a man of letters. Collar he had none, for the griminess of that he wore last night had necessitated its being thrown aside; round his throat was a dirty handkerchief. His coat had been brushed, but its recent experiences had brought it one stage nearer to that dissolution which must very soon be its fate. His grey trousers were now black, and his boots looked as if they had not been cleaned for weeks.

Indeed, his outfit resembled that of a broke street vendor more than a writer. He had no collar because he had to toss aside the grimy one he wore last night; around his neck was a dirty handkerchief. His coat had been brushed, but its recent experiences had brought it one step closer to falling apart, which was bound to happen soon. His gray trousers were now black, and his boots looked like they hadn't been cleaned in weeks.

‘Shall I say anything about the character of the book?’ he asked, seating himself with pen and paper. ‘Shall I hint that it deals with the ignobly decent?’

‘Should I say anything about the character of the book?’ he asked, sitting down with pen and paper. ‘Should I suggest that it addresses the shamefully decent?’

‘Better let them form their own judgment,’ replied Reardon, in his hoarse voice.

“Better to let them form their own opinion,” Reardon replied in his raspy voice.

‘Then I’ll just say that I submit to them a novel of modern life, the scope of which is in some degree indicated by its title. Pity they can’t know how nearly it became a holocaust, and that I risked my life to save it. If they’re good enough to accept it I’ll tell them the story. And now, Reardon, I’m ashamed of myself, but can you without inconvenience lend me ten shillings?’

‘Then I’ll just say that I’m submitting a novel about modern life, the scope of which is somewhat suggested by its title. It’s a shame they can’t know how close it came to being a disaster, and that I risked my life to save it. If they’re kind enough to accept it, I’ll share the story with them. And now, Reardon, I’m embarrassed to ask, but could you lend me ten shillings without too much trouble?’

‘Easily.’

"Simple."

‘I must write to two pupils, to inform them of my change of address—from garret to cellar. And I must ask help from my prosperous brother. He gives it me unreluctantly, I know, but I am always loth to apply to him. May I use your paper for these purposes?’

‘I need to write to two students to let them know I've changed my address—from the attic to the basement. And I need to ask my successful brother for help. I know he’ll give it to me without hesitation, but I always feel hesitant to reach out to him. Can I use your paper for these messages?’

The brother of whom he spoke was employed in a house of business at Liverpool; the two had not met for years, but they corresponded, and were on terms such as Harold indicated. When he had finished his letters, and had received the half-sovereign from Reardon, he went his way to deposit the brown-paper parcel at the publishers’. The clerk who received it from his hands probably thought that the author might have chosen a more respectable messenger.

The brother he mentioned worked at a business in Liverpool; they hadn’t seen each other in years, but they stayed in touch and had the kind of relationship Harold described. After he finished his letters and got the half-sovereign from Reardon, he went to drop off the brown-paper package at the publishers. The clerk who took it from him probably thought the author could have picked a more reputable messenger.

Two days later, early in the evening, the friends were again enjoying each other’s company in Reardon’s room. Both were invalids, for Biffen had of course caught a cold from his exposure in shirt-sleeves on the roof, and he was suffering from the shock to his nerves; but the thought that his novel was safe in the hands of publishers gave him energy to resist these influences. The absence of the pipe, for neither had any palate for tobacco at present, was the only external peculiarity of this meeting. There seemed no reason why they should not meet frequently before the parting which would come at Christmas; but Reardon was in a mood of profound sadness, and several times spoke as if already he were bidding his friend farewell.

Two days later, early in the evening, the friends were enjoying each other's company in Reardon's room again. Both were feeling unwell, as Biffen had caught a cold from being outside in his shirt sleeves on the roof, and he was also dealing with some nerve-related issues. However, knowing that his novel was safely in the hands of publishers gave him the energy to push through. The only unusual aspect of this meeting was the absence of a pipe, as neither had any taste for tobacco at the moment. There seemed to be no reason why they shouldn’t get together often before the parting that would come at Christmas, but Reardon was in a deeply sad mood and several times spoke as if he were already saying goodbye to his friend.

‘I find it difficult to think,’ he said, ‘that you will always struggle on in such an existence as this. To every man of mettle there does come an opportunity, and it surely is time for yours to present itself. I have a superstitious faith in “Mr Bailey.” If he leads you to triumph, don’t altogether forget me.’

‘I find it hard to believe,’ he said, ‘that you can keep living like this. Everyone with some drive eventually gets a chance, and it must be time for yours to come. I have a sort of superstitious faith in “Mr. Bailey.” If he helps you succeed, don’t forget about me completely.’

‘Don’t talk nonsense.’

“Stop talking nonsense.”

‘What ages it seems since that day when I saw you in the library at Hastings, and heard you ask in vain for my book! And how grateful I was to you! I wonder whether any mortal ever asks for my books nowadays? Some day, when I am well established at Croydon, you shall go to Mudie’s, and make inquiry if my novels ever by any chance leave the shelves, and then you shall give me a true and faithful report of the answer you get. “He is quite forgotten,” the attendant will say; be sure of it.’

‘It feels like ages since that day I saw you in the library at Hastings and heard you asking for my book without any luck! I was so grateful to you! I wonder if anyone ever asks for my books these days? Someday, when I’m settled in Croydon, you should go to Mudie’s and check if my novels ever leave the shelves, and then you can give me a true and honest report on what they say. “He is completely forgotten,” the staff member will say; you can count on it.’

‘I think not.’

"I don't think so."

‘To have had even a small reputation, and to have outlived it, is a sort of anticipation of death. The man Edwin Reardon, whose name was sometimes spoken in a tone of interest, is really and actually dead. And what remains of me is resigned to that. I have an odd fancy that it will make death itself easier; it is as if only half of me had now to die.’

‘Having even a small reputation and then outliving it feels like a preview of death. The man Edwin Reardon, whose name was sometimes mentioned with interest, is truly and completely dead. And what’s left of me accepts that. I have this strange idea that it will make death itself easier; it’s as if only half of me has to die now.’

Biffen tried to give a lighter turn to the gloomy subject.

Biffen tried to put a lighter spin on the gloomy topic.

‘Thinking of my fiery adventure,’ he said, in his tone of dry deliberation, ‘I find it vastly amusing to picture you as a witness at the inquest if I had been choked and consumed. No doubt it would have been made known that I rushed upstairs to save some particular piece of property—several people heard me say so—and you alone would be able to conjecture what this was. Imagine the gaping wonderment of the coroner’s jury! The Daily Telegraph would have made a leader out of me. “This poor man was so strangely deluded as to the value of a novel in manuscript, which it appears he had just completed, that he positively sacrificed his life in the endeavour to rescue it from the flames.” And the Saturday would have had a column of sneering jocosity on the irrepressibly sanguine temperament of authors. At all events, I should have had my day of fame.’

“Thinking about my wild adventure,” he said, in a dry, thoughtful tone, “I find it very amusing to picture you as a witness at the inquest if I had been choked and eaten. No doubt it would have come out that I rushed upstairs to save some specific item—several people heard me say so—and you alone would know what that was. Imagine the shocked expressions on the coroner’s jury! The Daily Telegraph would have turned me into a headline. ‘This poor man was so strangely misled about the value of a manuscript novel, which it seems he had just finished, that he literally sacrificed his life trying to rescue it from the flames.’ And the Saturday would have run a column making fun of the hopelessly optimistic mindset of writers. In any case, I would’ve had my moment of fame.”

‘But what an ignoble death it would have been!’ he pursued. ‘Perishing in the garret of a lodging-house which caught fire by the overturning of a drunkard’s lamp! One would like to end otherwise.’

‘But what a disgraceful way to die!’ he continued. ‘Dying in the attic of a boarding house that caught fire because some drunkard knocked over a lamp! You’d want to go out in a better way.’

‘Where would you wish to die?’ asked Reardon, musingly.

‘Where would you like to die?’ asked Reardon, thoughtfully.

‘At home,’ replied the other, with pathetic emphasis. ‘I have never had a home since I was a boy, and am never likely to have one. But to die at home is an unreasoning hope I still cherish.’

‘At home,’ replied the other, with heartfelt emphasis. ‘I haven’t had a home since I was a boy, and I probably won’t ever have one. But dying at home is an unreasonable hope I still hold onto.’

‘If you had never come to London, what would you have now been?’

‘If you had never come to London, what would you be doing now?’

‘Almost certainly a schoolmaster in some small town. And one might be worse off than that, you know.’

‘Almost certainly a teacher in some small town. And you know, it could be worse than that.’

‘Yes, one might live peaceably enough in such a position. And I—I should be in an estate-agent’s office, earning a sufficient salary, and most likely married to some unambitious country girl.

‘Yes, you could get by peacefully in that situation. And I—I would be in a real estate office, making a decent salary, and probably married to some laid-back country girl.

I should have lived an intelligible life, instead of only trying to live, aiming at modes of life beyond my reach. My mistake was that of numberless men nowadays. Because I was conscious of brains, I thought that the only place for me was London. It’s easy enough to understand this common delusion. We form our ideas of London from old literature; we think of London as if it were still the one centre of intellectual life; we think and talk like Chatterton. But the truth is that intellectual men in our day do their best to keep away from London—when once they know the place. There are libraries everywhere; papers and magazines reach the north of Scotland as soon as they reach Brompton; it’s only on rare occasions, for special kinds of work, that one is bound to live in London. And as for recreation, why, now that no English theatre exists, what is there in London that you can’t enjoy in almost any part of England? At all events, a yearly visit of a week would be quite sufficient for all the special features of the town. London is only a huge shop, with an hotel on the upper storeys. To be sure, if you make it your artistic subject, that’s a different thing. But neither you nor I would do that by deliberate choice.’

I should have lived a meaningful life instead of just trying to exist, aiming for ways of living that were beyond my grasp. My mistake is one that countless people make today. Because I was aware of my intelligence, I believed that I had to be in London. It’s easy to see why this misconception is so common. We form our views of London based on old literature; we picture London as if it were still the hub of intellectual life; we think and speak like Chatterton. But the reality is that intellectuals nowadays try to avoid London once they truly understand the place. Libraries are everywhere; newspapers and magazines reach the north of Scotland just as quickly as they reach Brompton; it's only in rare cases, for specific types of work, that you need to live in London. And when it comes to leisure, with no real English theaters left, what does London offer that you can't enjoy in nearly any part of England? In any case, a yearly visit for a week would be more than enough to experience all the unique aspects of the city. London is just a massive store with hotels on the upper floors. Sure, if you make it your artistic subject, that’s a different story. But neither you nor I would choose to do that on purpose.

‘I think not.’

"I don't think so."

‘It’s a huge misfortune, this will-o’-the-wisp attraction exercised by London on young men of brains. They come here to be degraded, or to perish, when their true sphere is a life of peaceful remoteness. The type of man capable of success in London is more or less callous and cynical. If I had the training of boys, I would teach them to think of London as the last place where life can be lived worthily.’

‘It’s a big misfortune, this fleeting, elusive pull that London has on clever young men. They come here to be brought down or to fail, when their true calling is a life of quiet solitude. The kind of man who can succeed in London tends to be somewhat cold and cynical. If I were responsible for raising boys, I would teach them to see London as the last place where life can be lived with dignity.’

‘And the place where you are most likely to die in squalid wretchedness.’

‘And the place where you’re most likely to die in miserable conditions.’

‘The one happy result of my experiences,’ said Reardon, ‘is that they have cured me of ambition. What a miserable fellow I should be if I were still possessed with the desire to make a name! I can’t even recall very clearly that state of mind. My strongest desire now is for peaceful obscurity. I am tired out; I want to rest for the remainder of my life.’

‘The one good thing about my experiences,’ Reardon said, ‘is that they've cured me of ambition. I’d be such a miserable person if I still had the desire to make a name for myself! I can hardly remember what that mindset felt like. My biggest wish now is for a quiet, unnoticed life. I’m worn out; I just want to relax for the rest of my life.’

‘You won’t have much rest at Croydon.’

‘You won’t get much rest at Croydon.’

‘Oh, it isn’t impossible. My time will be wholly occupied in a round of all but mechanical duties, and I think that will be the best medicine for my mind. I shall read very little, and that only in the classics. I don’t say that I shall always be content in such a position; in a few years perhaps something pleasanter will offer. But in the meantime it will do very well. Then there is our expedition to Greece to look forward to. I am quite in earnest about that. The year after next, if we are both alive, assuredly we go.’

‘Oh, it’s not impossible. My time will be completely filled with almost mechanical tasks, and I think that will be the best way to clear my mind. I won’t read much, just a bit of the classics. I’m not saying I’ll always be happy in this situation; in a few years, something more enjoyable might come up. But for now, it will work just fine. And then there’s our trip to Greece to look forward to. I’m totally serious about that. The year after next, if we’re both still around, we will definitely go.’

‘The year after next.’ Biffen smiled dubiously.

‘The year after next.’ Biffen smiled skeptically.

‘I have demonstrated to you mathematically that it is possible.’

'I have shown you mathematically that it can be done.'

‘You have; but so are a great many other things that one does not dare to hope for.’

‘You have; but so are a lot of other things that one doesn’t dare to hope for.’

Someone knocked at the door, opened it, and said:

Someone knocked on the door, opened it, and said:

‘Here’s a telegram for you, Mr Reardon.’

‘Here’s a telegram for you, Mr. Reardon.’

The friends looked at each other, as if some fear had entered the minds of both. Reardon opened the despatch. It was from his wife, and ran thus:

The friends glanced at one another, as if some fear had crept into their thoughts. Reardon opened the message. It was from his wife, and it read as follows:

‘Willie is ill of diphtheria. Please come to us at once. I am staying with Mrs Carter, at her mother’s, at Brighton.’

‘Willie is sick with diphtheria. Please come to us right away. I'm staying with Mrs. Carter at her mother’s place in Brighton.’

The full address was given.

The complete address was provided.

‘You hadn’t heard of her going there?’ said Biffen, when he had read the lines.

‘You didn’t hear about her going there?’ said Biffen, after he had read the lines.

‘No. I haven’t seen Carter for several days, or perhaps he would have told me. Brighton, at this time of year? But I believe there’s a fashionable “season” about now, isn’t there? I suppose that would account for it.’

‘No. I haven’t seen Carter in several days, or else he would have let me know. Brighton, this time of year? But I think it’s the popular “season” around now, right? I guess that would explain it.’

He spoke in a slighting tone, but showed increasing agitation.

He spoke in a dismissive tone, but showed growing agitation.

‘Of course you will go?’

"Are you really going?"

‘I must. Though I’m in no condition for making a journey.’

‘I have to. Even though I’m not in the right state to travel.’

His friend examined him anxiously.

His friend looked at him nervously.

‘Are you feverish at all this evening?’

'Do you have a fever at all this evening?'

Reardon held out a hand that the other might feel his pulse. The beat was rapid to begin with, and had been heightened since the arrival of the telegram.

Reardon extended his hand for the other person to check his pulse. It was initially fast, and it had quickened even more since the telegram had arrived.

‘But go I must. The poor little fellow has no great place in my heart, but, when Amy sends for me, I must go. Perhaps things are at the worst.’

‘But I have to go. The poor little guy doesn’t mean a lot to me, but when Amy calls for me, I have to respond. Maybe things are at their worst.’

‘When is there a train? Have you a time table?’

‘When is the next train? Do you have a schedule?’

Biffen was despatched to the nearest shop to purchase one, and in the meanwhile Reardon packed a few necessaries in a small travelling-bag, ancient and worn, but the object of his affection because it had accompanied him on his wanderings in the South. When Harold returned, his appearance excited Reardon’s astonishment—he was white from head to foot.

Biffen was sent to the nearest shop to buy one, and while he was gone, Reardon packed a few essentials in a small travel bag, old and worn, but special to him because it had joined him on his travels in the South. When Harold came back, Reardon's surprise was intense—he was completely white from head to toe.

‘Snow?’

'Snow?'

‘It must have been falling heavily for an hour or more.’

‘It must have been pouring for an hour or more.’

‘Can’t be helped; I must go.’

‘It can't be helped; I have to go.’

The nearest station for departure was London Bridge, and the next train left at 7.20. By Reardon’s watch it was now about five minutes to seven.

The closest station for departure was London Bridge, and the next train was leaving at 7:20. According to Reardon's watch, it was now around five minutes to seven.

‘I don’t know whether it’s possible,’ he said, in confused hurry, ‘but I must try. There isn’t another train till ten past nine. Come with me to the station, Biffen.’

‘I don’t know if it’s possible,’ he said, in a flustered hurry, ‘but I have to try. There isn’t another train until ten past nine. Come with me to the station, Biffen.’

Both were ready. They rushed from the house, and sped through the soft, steady fall of snowflakes into Upper Street. Here they were several minutes before they found a disengaged cab. Questioning the driver, they learnt what they would have known very well already but for their excitement: impossible to get to London Bridge Station in a quarter of an hour.

Both were ready. They rushed out of the house and sped through the soft, steady fall of snowflakes onto Upper Street. Here, they spent several minutes looking for an available cab. Asking the driver, they found out what they already knew, if not for their excitement: it was impossible to reach London Bridge Station in a quarter of an hour.

‘Better to go on, all the same,’ was Reardon’s opinion. ‘If the snow gets deep I shall perhaps not be able to have a cab at all. But you had better not come; I forgot that you are as much out of sorts as I am.’

‘Better to keep going, anyway,’ Reardon said. ‘If the snow gets deep, I might not be able to get a cab at all. But you should probably stay behind; I forgot that you're just as unwell as I am.’

‘How can you wait a couple of hours alone? In with you!’

‘How can you wait a couple of hours by yourself? Come in with you!’

‘Diphtheria is pretty sure to be fatal to a child of that age, isn’t it?’ Reardon asked when they were speeding along City Road.

'Diphtheria is pretty sure to be fatal to a child that age, right?' Reardon asked as they sped along City Road.

‘I’m afraid there’s much danger.’

"I'm afraid there's a lot of danger."

‘Why did she send?’

'Why did she send that?'

‘What an absurd question! You seem to have got into a thoroughly morbid state of mind about her. Do be human, and put away your obstinate folly.’

“What an absurd question! You seem to be in a really dark place about her. Come on, be reasonable, and stop with your stubborn nonsense.”

‘In my position you would have acted precisely as I have done. I have had no choice.’

‘If you were in my position, you would have acted exactly as I have. I had no choice.’

‘I might; but we have both of us too little practicality. The art of living is the art of compromise. We have no right to foster sensibilities, and conduct ourselves as if the world allowed of ideal relations; it leads to misery for others as well as ourselves. Genial coarseness is what it behoves men like you and me to cultivate. Your reply to your wife’s last letter was preposterous. You ought to have gone to her of your own accord as soon as ever you heard she was rich; she would have thanked you for such common-sense disregard of delicacies. Let there be an end of this nonsense, I implore you!’

‘I might, but both of us lack practicality. The art of living is all about compromise. We can't indulge in our feelings and act like the world supports ideal relationships; it brings misery to others as well as ourselves. We should embrace a friendly toughness, which is what guys like you and me need to develop. Your response to your wife's last letter was ridiculous. You should have gone to her on your own as soon as you heard she was wealthy; she would have appreciated your sensible approach over being overly polite. Let’s put an end to this nonsense, I beg you!’

Reardon stared through the glass at the snow that fell thicker and thicker.

Reardon looked through the glass at the snow that was falling heavier and heavier.

‘What are we—you and I?’ pursued the other. ‘We have no belief in immortality; we are convinced that this life is all; we know that human happiness is the origin and end of all moral considerations. What right have we to make ourselves and others miserable for the sake of an obstinate idealism? It is our duty to make the best of circumstances. Why will you go cutting your loaf with a razor when you have a serviceable bread-knife?’

‘What are we—you and I?’ the other continued. ‘We don’t believe in immortality; we’re certain that this life is everything; we understand that human happiness is the foundation and goal of all moral considerations. What right do we have to make ourselves and others miserable for the sake of stubborn idealism? It’s our responsibility to make the best of our circumstances. Why would you use a razor to cut your bread when you have a good bread knife?’

Still Reardon did not speak. The cab rolled on almost silently.

Still, Reardon didn’t say anything. The cab moved on almost silently.

‘You love your wife, and this summons she sends is proof that her thought turns to you as soon as she is in distress.’

'You love your wife, and this message she sent is proof that she thinks of you as soon as she's in trouble.'

‘Perhaps she only thought it her duty to let the child’s father know—’

‘Maybe she just felt it was her responsibility to inform the child's father—’

‘Perhaps—perhaps—perhaps!’ cried Biffen, contemptuously. ‘There goes the razor again! Take the plain, human construction of what happens. Ask yourself what the vulgar man would do, and do likewise; that’s the only safe rule for you.’

‘Maybe—maybe—maybe!’ Biffen exclaimed, with disdain. ‘There goes the razor again! Just look at the straightforward, human way of understanding what happens. Consider what an ordinary person would do, and follow suit; that’s the only reliable guideline for you.’

They were both hoarse with too much talking, and for the last half of the drive neither spoke.

They were both hoarse from talking too much, and for the last half of the drive, neither of them spoke.

At the railway-station they ate and drank together, but with poor pretence of appetite. As long as possible they kept within the warmed rooms. Reardon was pale, and had anxious, restless eyes; he could not remain seated, though when he had walked about for a few minutes the trembling of his limbs obliged him to sink down. It was an unutterable relief to both when the moment of the train’s starting approached.

At the train station, they had food and drinks together, but it was clear they weren’t really hungry. They stayed in the heated rooms for as long as they could. Reardon looked pale and had anxious, restless eyes; he couldn’t stay seated, but after walking around for a few minutes, his trembling limbs forced him to sit down. Both of them felt an overwhelming relief as the moment for the train’s departure drew near.

They clasped hands warmly, and exchanged a few last requests and promises.

They held hands tightly and shared a few final requests and promises.

‘Forgive my plain speech, old fellow,’ said Biffen. ‘Go and be happy!’

“Sorry for being so blunt, my friend,” Biffen said. “Just go and be happy!”

Then he stood alone on the platform, watching the red light on the last carriage as the train whirled away into darkness and storm.

Then he stood alone on the platform, watching the red light on the last carriage as the train sped away into the darkness and storm.





CHAPTER XXXII. REARDON BECOMES PRACTICAL

Reardon had never been to Brighton, and of his own accord never would have gone; he was prejudiced against the place because its name has become suggestive of fashionable imbecility and the snobbishness which tries to model itself thereon; he knew that the town was a mere portion of London transferred to the sea-shore, and as he loved the strand and the breakers for their own sake, to think of them in such connection could be nothing but a trial of his temper. Something of this species of irritation affected him in the first part of his journey, and disturbed the mood of kindliness with which he was approaching Amy; but towards the end he forgot this in a growing desire to be beside his wife in her trouble. His impatience made the hour and a half seem interminable.

Reardon had never been to Brighton and wouldn’t have gone on his own; he had a bias against the place because its name had come to symbolize trendy foolishness and the snobbishness that tries to imitate it. He understood that the town was just part of London moved to the seaside, and since he appreciated the beach and the waves for their own sake, the thought of them in that context could only test his patience. This kind of irritation affected him during the first part of his journey and upset the mood of warmth he had towards Amy. But as he got closer, he forgot about it, driven by an increasing desire to be with his wife in her time of trouble. His impatience made the hour and a half feel endless.

The fever which was upon him had increased. He coughed frequently; his breathing was difficult; though constantly moving, he felt as if, in the absence of excitement, his one wish would have been to lie down and abandon himself to lethargy. Two men who sat with him in the third-class carriage had spread a rug over their knees and amused themselves with playing cards for trifling sums of money; the sight of their foolish faces, the sound of their laughs, the talk they interchanged, exasperated him to the last point of endurance; but for all that he could not draw his attention from them. He seemed condemned by some spiritual tormentor to take an interest in their endless games, and to observe their visages until he knew every line with a hateful intimacy. One of the men had a moustache of unusual form; the ends curved upward with peculiar suddenness, and Reardon was constrained to speculate as to the mode of training by which this singularity had been produced. He could have shed tears of nervous distraction in his inability to turn his thoughts upon other things.

The fever that was hitting him had gotten worse. He coughed often; breathing was hard for him; even though he was constantly moving, he felt that without anything exciting happening, all he wanted to do was lie down and give in to tiredness. Two guys sitting with him in the third-class carriage had thrown a rug over their knees and were entertaining themselves by playing cards for small amounts of money; seeing their silly faces, hearing their laughter, and the chatter between them irritated him to the point of breaking. Yet, he couldn’t pull his focus away from them. It felt like some spiritual tormentor had trapped him into being interested in their endless games and observing their faces until he knew every line with a loathsome familiarity. One of the guys had an unusually shaped mustache; the ends curled up in a strange way, and Reardon felt compelled to wonder how that oddity had been achieved. He could have cried out of frustration at his inability to think about anything else.

On alighting at his journey’s end he was seized with a fit of shivering, an intense and sudden chill which made his teeth chatter. In an endeavour to overcome this he began to run towards the row of cabs, but his legs refused such exercise, and coughing compelled him to pause for breath. Still shaking, he threw himself into a vehicle and was driven to the address Amy had mentioned. The snow on the ground lay thick, but no more was falling.

On getting off at the end of his journey, he was hit with a shiver, a sudden and intense chill that made his teeth chatter. Trying to shake it off, he started to run towards the line of cabs, but his legs wouldn’t cooperate, and coughing forced him to stop for a moment to catch his breath. Still trembling, he jumped into a cab and had the driver take him to the address Amy had given him. The snow on the ground was thick, but there was no new snowfall.

Heedless of the direction which the cab took, he suffered his physical and mental unrest for another quarter of an hour, then a stoppage told him that the house was reached. On his way he had heard a clock strike eleven.

He didn’t pay attention to which way the cab was going. He endured his physical and mental unease for another fifteen minutes, and then a stop indicated that they had arrived at the house. On the way, he had heard a clock chime eleven.

The door opened almost as soon as he had rung the bell. He mentioned his name, and the maid-servant conducted him to a drawing-room on the ground-floor. The house was quite a small one, but seemed to be well furnished. One lamp burned on the table, and the fire had sunk to a red glow. Saying that she would inform Mrs Reardon at once, the servant left him alone.

The door opened almost immediately after he rang the bell. He stated his name, and the maid led him to a living room on the ground floor. The house was quite small, but it appeared to be nicely furnished. A lamp was lit on the table, and the fire had settled to a warm glow. The servant said she would let Mrs. Reardon know right away, then left him alone.

He placed his bag on the floor, took off his muffler, threw back his overcoat, and sat waiting. The overcoat was new, but the garments beneath it were his poorest, those he wore when sitting in his garret, for he had neither had time to change them, nor thought of doing so.

He dropped his bag on the floor, took off his scarf, shrugged off his overcoat, and sat waiting. The overcoat was new, but the clothes underneath were his oldest, the ones he wore while sitting in his small room, since he had neither the time to change nor thought about doing so.

He heard no approaching footstep but Amy came into the room in a way which showed that she had hastened downstairs. She looked at him, then drew near with both hands extended, and laid them on his shoulders, and kissed him. Reardon shook so violently that it was all he could do to remain standing; he seized one of her hands, and pressed it against his lips.

He didn't hear any footsteps, but Amy entered the room in a way that made it clear she had rushed downstairs. She looked at him, then came closer with her hands outstretched, placed them on his shoulders, and kissed him. Reardon shook uncontrollably, struggling to stay upright; he took one of her hands and pressed it against his lips.

‘How hot your breath is!’ she said. ‘And how you tremble! Are you ill?’

‘Your breath is so warm!’ she said. ‘And you're shaking! Are you okay?’

‘A bad cold, that’s all,’ he answered thickly, and coughed. ‘How is Willie?’

‘Just a bad cold, that’s all,’ he replied hoarsely, and coughed. ‘How’s Willie?’

‘In great danger. The doctor is coming again to-night; we thought that was his ring.’

‘In serious danger. The doctor is coming again tonight; we thought that was his call.’

‘You didn’t expect me to-night?’

"You didn't expect me tonight?"

‘I couldn’t feel sure whether you would come.’

‘I couldn't be sure if you would come.’

‘Why did you send for me, Amy? Because Willie was in danger, and you felt I ought to know about it?’

‘Why did you call me, Amy? Was it because Willie was in danger, and you thought I should know about it?’

‘Yes—and because I—’

'Yes—and because I—'

She burst into tears. The display of emotion came very suddenly; her words had been spoken in a firm voice, and only the pained knitting of her brows had told what she was suffering.

She suddenly broke down in tears. The emotional outburst came out of nowhere; she had spoken firmly, and only the strained look on her face revealed her pain.

‘If Willie dies, what shall I do? Oh, what shall I do?’ broke forth between her sobs.

‘If Willie dies, what am I going to do? Oh, what am I going to do?’ she cried between her sobs.

Reardon took her in his arms, and laid his hand upon her head in the old loving way.

Reardon wrapped her in his arms and gently placed his hand on her head in that familiar, affectionate manner.

‘Do you wish me to go up and see him, Amy?’

‘Do you want me to go up and see him, Amy?’

‘Of course. But first, let me tell you why we are here. Edith—Mrs Carter—was coming to spend a week with her mother, and she pressed me to join her. I didn’t really wish to; I was unhappy, and felt how impossible it was to go on always living away from you. Oh, that I had never come! Then Willie would have been as well as ever.’

‘Of course. But first, let me explain why we’re here. Edith—Mrs. Carter—was planning to spend a week with her mom, and she urged me to come along. I didn’t really want to; I was unhappy, and I realized how impossible it was to keep living away from you. Oh, how I wish I had never come! Then Willie would have been just fine.’

‘Tell me when and how it began.’

‘Tell me when and how it started.’

She explained briefly, then went on to tell of other circumstances.

She explained briefly and then went on to describe other situations.

‘I have a nurse with me in the room. It’s my own bedroom, and this house is so small it will be impossible to give you a bed here, Edwin. But there’s an hotel only a few yards away.’

‘I have a nurse with me in the room. It’s my own bedroom, and this house is so small that it will be impossible to give you a bed here, Edwin. But there’s a hotel only a few yards away.’

‘Yes, yes; don’t trouble about that.’

‘Yeah, yeah; don’t worry about that.’

‘But you look so ill—you are shaking so. Is it a cold you have had long?’

‘But you look really sick—you’re shaking so much. Have you had a cold for a while?’

‘Oh, my old habit; you remember. One cold after another, all through the accursed winter. What does that matter when you speak kindly to me once more? I had rather die now at your feet and see the old gentleness when you look at me, than live on estranged from you. No, don’t kiss me, I believe these vile sore-throats are contagious.’

‘Oh, my old habit; you remember. One cold after another, all through the cursed winter. What does it matter when you speak kindly to me again? I would rather die at your feet now and see that old gentleness in your eyes than live on feeling distant from you. No, don’t kiss me, I think these awful sore throats are contagious.’

‘But your lips are so hot and parched! And to think of your coming this journey, on such a night!’

‘But your lips are so dry and hot! And to think you came on this journey, on a night like this!’

‘Good old Biffen came to the station with me. He was angry because I had kept away from you so long. Have you given me your heart again, Amy?’

‘Good old Biffen came to the station with me. He was upset because I had stayed away from you for so long. Have you given me your heart again, Amy?’

‘Oh, it has all been a wretched mistake! But we were so poor. Now all that is over; if only Willie can be saved to me! I am so anxious for the doctor’s coming; the poor little child can hardly draw a breath. How cruel it is that such suffering should come upon a little creature who has never done or thought ill!’

‘Oh, it has all been a terrible mistake! But we were so poor. Now that's all behind us; if only Willie can be saved! I’m so anxious for the doctor to arrive; the poor little child can hardly breathe. How cruel it is that such suffering should come upon a little one who has never done or thought anything wrong!’

‘You are not the first, dearest, who has revolted against nature’s cruelty.’

‘You’re not the first, my dear, who has rebelled against the cruelty of nature.’

‘Let us go up at once, Edwin. Leave your coat and things here. Mrs Winter—Edith’s mother—is a very old lady; she has gone to bed. And I dare say you wouldn’t care to see Mrs Carter to-night?’

‘Let’s go right now, Edwin. Leave your coat and stuff here. Mrs. Winter—Edith’s mom—is really old; she’s gone to bed. And I bet you wouldn’t want to see Mrs. Carter tonight?’

‘No, no! only you and Willie.’

‘No, no! just you and Willie.’

‘When the doctor comes hadn’t you better ask his advice for yourself?’

‘When the doctor comes, wouldn’t you be better off asking for his advice for yourself?’

‘We shall see. Don’t trouble about me.’

'We'll see. Don't worry about me.'

They went softly up to the first floor, and entered a bedroom. Fortunately the light here was very dim, or the nurse who sat by the child’s bed must have wondered at the eccentricity with which her patient’s father attired himself. Bending over the little sufferer, Reardon felt for the first time since Willie’s birth a strong fatherly emotion; tears rushed to his eyes, and he almost crushed Amy’s hand as he held it during the spasm of his intense feeling.

They quietly made their way to the first floor and entered a bedroom. Luckily, the light here was very dim, or the nurse sitting by the child’s bed might have found it odd how the child's father was dressed. Bending over the little one, Reardon felt a strong fatherly emotion for the first time since Willie was born; tears filled his eyes, and he nearly crushed Amy’s hand as he held it during the wave of his intense feeling.

He sat here for a long time without speaking. The warmth of the chamber had the reverse of an assuaging effect upon his difficult breathing and his frequent short cough—it seemed to oppress and confuse his brain. He began to feel a pain in his right side, and could not sit upright on the chair.

He sat here for a long time without saying anything. The warmth of the room had the opposite effect on his labored breathing and frequent short cough—it seemed to weigh down and cloud his thoughts. He started to feel a pain in his right side and couldn’t sit up straight in the chair.

Amy kept regarding him, without his being aware of it.

Amy kept looking at him without him realizing it.

‘Does your head ache?’ she whispered.

“Does your head hurt?” she whispered.

He nodded, but did not speak.

He nodded but didn't say anything.

‘Oh, why doesn’t the doctor come? I must send in a few minutes.’

‘Oh, why isn’t the doctor here yet? I have to leave in a few minutes.’

But as soon as she had spoken a bell rang in the lower part of the house. Amy had no doubt that it announced the promised visit.

But as soon as she finished speaking, a bell rang from downstairs. Amy was sure it was signaling the anticipated visit.

She left the room, and in a minute or two returned with the medical man. When the examination of the child was over, Reardon requested a few words with the doctor in the room downstairs.

She left the room and came back a minute or two later with the doctor. Once the examination of the child was done, Reardon asked to speak with the doctor in the room downstairs.

‘I’ll come back to you,’ he whispered to Amy.

‘I’ll come back to you,’ he whispered to Amy.

The two descended together, and entered the drawing-room.

The two went down together and entered the living room.

‘Is there any hope for the little fellow?’ Reardon asked.

‘Is there any hope for the little guy?’ Reardon asked.

Yes, there was hope; a favourable turn might be expected.

Yes, there was hope; a positive change could be expected.

‘Now I wish to trouble you for a moment on my own account. I shouldn’t be surprised if you tell me that I have congestion of the lungs.’

‘Now I’d like to take a moment to bother you for my own sake. I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me that I have lung congestion.’

The doctor, a suave man of fifty, had been inspecting his interlocutor with curiosity. He now asked the necessary questions, and made an examination.

The doctor, a sophisticated man in his fifties, had been looking at his conversation partner with interest. He then asked the essential questions and conducted an examination.

‘Have you had any lung trouble before this?’ he inquired gravely.

“Have you had any lung issues before this?” he asked seriously.

‘Slight congestion of the right lung not many weeks ago.’

‘Slight congestion in the right lung not too long ago.’

‘I must order you to bed immediately. Why have you allowed your symptoms to go so far without—’

‘I must send you to bed right now. Why have you let your symptoms get so bad without—’

‘I have just come down from London,’ interrupted Reardon.

‘I just came down from London,’ interrupted Reardon.

‘Tut, tut, tut! To bed this moment, my dear sir! There is inflammation, and—’

‘Tut, tut, tut! It’s time for bed right now, my dear sir! There’s inflammation, and—’

‘I can’t have a bed in this house; there is no spare room. I must go to the nearest hotel.’

‘I can’t have a bed in this house; there’s no extra room. I have to go to the nearest hotel.’

‘Positively? Then let me take you. My carriage is at the door.’

‘Really? Then let me give you a ride. My car is right outside.’

‘One thing—I beg you won’t tell my wife that this is serious. Wait till she is out of her anxiety about the child.’

‘One thing—I really hope you won’t tell my wife that this is serious. Let’s wait until she’s not so worried about the child.’

‘You will need the services of a nurse. A most unfortunate thing that you are obliged to go to the hotel.’

‘You’re going to need a nurse. It’s really unfortunate that you have to go to the hotel.’

‘It can’t be helped. If a nurse is necessary, I must engage one.’

‘It can't be helped. If I need a nurse, I have to hire one.’

He had the strange sensation of knowing that whatever was needful could be paid for; it relieved his mind immensely. To the rich, illness has none of the worst horrors only understood by the poor.

He felt an odd sense of reassurance knowing that anything necessary could be afforded; it eased his mind significantly. For the wealthy, illness lacks the terrifying aspects that only the poor truly comprehend.

‘Don’t speak a word more than you can help,’ said the doctor as he watched Reardon withdraw.

“Don’t say another word if you can avoid it,” the doctor said as he watched Reardon walk away.

Amy stood on the lower stairs, and came down as soon as her husband showed himself.

Amy stood on the bottom step and came down as soon as her husband appeared.

‘The doctor is good enough to take me in his carriage,’ he whispered. ‘It is better that I should go to bed, and get a good night’s rest. I wish I could have sat with you, Amy.’

‘The doctor is nice enough to give me a ride in his carriage,’ he whispered. ‘It’s better if I go to bed and get a good night’s sleep. I wish I could have stayed with you, Amy.’

‘Is it anything? You look worse than when you came, Edwin.’

‘Is there something wrong? You look worse than when you arrived, Edwin.’

‘A feverish cold. Don’t give it a thought, dearest. Go to Willie. Good-night!’

‘A bad cold. Don’t worry about it, my dear. Go to Willie. Goodnight!’

She threw her arms about him.

She wrapped her arms around him.

‘I shall come to see you if you are not able to be here by nine in the morning,’ she said, and added the name of the hotel to which he was to go.

“I’ll come to see you if you can’t be here by nine in the morning,” she said, and added the name of the hotel where he was supposed to go.

At this establishment the doctor was well known. By midnight Reardon lay in a comfortable room, a huge cataplasm fixed upon him, and other needful arrangements made. A waiter had undertaken to visit him at intervals through the night, and the man of medicine promised to return as soon as possible after daybreak.

At this place, the doctor was well known. By midnight, Reardon was lying in a comfortable room, a large compress placed on him, with other necessary arrangements made. A waiter had agreed to check on him periodically throughout the night, and the doctor promised to come back as soon as possible after sunrise.

What sound was that, soft and continuous, remote, now clearer, now confusedly murmuring? He must have slept, but now he lay in sudden perfect consciousness, and that music fell upon his ears. Ah! of course it was the rising tide; he was near the divine sea.

What was that sound, soft and continuous, distant, now clearer, now mumbling softly? He must have dozed off, but now he lay wide awake, and that music filled his ears. Ah! of course, it was the rising tide; he was close to the beautiful sea.

The night-light enabled him to discern the principal objects in the room, and he let his eyes stray idly hither and thither. But this moment of peacefulness was brought to an end by a fit of coughing, and he became troubled, profoundly troubled, in mind. Was his illness really dangerous? He tried to draw a deep breath, but could not. He found that he could only lie on his right side with any ease. And with the effort of turning he exhausted himself; in the course of an hour or two all his strength had left him. Vague fears flitted harassingly through his thoughts. If he had inflammation of the lungs—that was a disease of which one might die, and speedily. Death? No, no, no; impossible at such a time as this, when Amy, his own dear wife, had come back to him, and had brought him that which would insure their happiness through all the years of a long life.

The night-light let him see the main objects in the room, and he let his eyes wander aimlessly here and there. But this moment of peace was interrupted by a coughing fit, leaving him deeply troubled in mind. Was his illness really serious? He tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t. He realized he could only lie comfortably on his right side. Turning over exhausted him; within an hour or two, all his strength was gone. Vague fears flitted through his mind, bothering him. If he had lung inflammation—that was a disease that could be fatal, and quickly. Death? No, no, no; that couldn’t happen now, especially when Amy, his beloved wife, had returned to him and had brought him something that would ensure their happiness for all the years of a long life.

He was still quite a young man; there must be great reserves of strength in him. And he had the will to live, the prevailing will, the passionate all-conquering desire of happiness.

He was still a young man; there had to be a lot of strength in him. And he had the will to live, the strong will, the intense, unbeatable desire for happiness.

How he had alarmed himself! Why, now he was calmer again, and again could listen to the music of the breakers. Not all the folly and baseness that paraded along this strip of the shore could change the sea’s eternal melody. In a day or two he would walk on the sands with Amy, somewhere quite out of sight of the repulsive town. But Willie was ill; he had forgotten that. Poor little boy! In future the child should be more to him; though never what the mother was, his own love, won again and for ever.

How he had freaked himself out! But now he felt calmer again and could once more listen to the sound of the waves. None of the nonsense and ugliness that paraded along this stretch of the beach could change the sea's timeless music. In a day or two, he would walk on the sand with Amy, somewhere far away from that disgusting town. But Willie was sick; he had forgotten that. Poor little kid! From now on, the child would mean more to him; though he’d never replace the mother, he had regained his own love, permanently and completely.

Again an interval of unconsciousness, brought to an end by that aching in his side. He breathed very quickly; could not help doing so. He had never felt so ill as this, never. Was it not near morning?

Again, he lost consciousness for a while, only to be jolted back by the pain in his side. He was breathing fast, unable to control it. He had never felt this sick before, never. Was it almost morning?

Then he dreamt. He was at Patras, was stepping into a boat to be rowed out to the steamer which would bear him away from Greece. A magnificent night, though at the end of December; a sky of deep blue, thick set with stars. No sound but the steady splash of the oars, or perhaps a voice from one of the many vessels that lay anchored in the harbour, each showing its lantern-gleams. The water was as deep a blue as the sky, and sparkled with reflected radiance.

Then he dreamed. He was in Patras, stepping into a boat that would take him out to the steamer that would carry him away from Greece. It was a beautiful night, even though it was the end of December; the sky was a deep blue, filled with stars. The only sounds were the steady splash of the oars, or maybe a voice from one of the many ships anchored in the harbor, each one showing its lantern lights. The water was as deep a blue as the sky and sparkled with reflected light.

And now he stood on deck in the light of early morning. Southward lay the Ionian Islands; he looked for Ithaca, and grieved that it had been passed in the hours of darkness. But the nearest point of the main shore was a rocky promontory; it reminded him that in these waters was fought the battle of Actium.

And now he stood on deck in the early morning light. To the south were the Ionian Islands; he searched for Ithaca and felt sad that it had been missed during the night. But the nearest part of the mainland was a rocky headland; it reminded him that the battle of Actium was fought in these waters.

The glory vanished. He lay once more a sick man in a hired chamber, longing for the dull English dawn.

The glory disappeared. He lay again as a sick man in a rented room, craving the dull English morning.

At eight o’clock came the doctor. He would allow only a word or two to be uttered, and his visit was brief. Reardon was chiefly anxious to have news of the child, but for this he would have to wait.

At eight o’clock, the doctor arrived. He allowed only a word or two to be spoken, and his visit was short. Reardon was mainly eager to hear about the child, but for that, he would have to wait.

At ten Amy entered the bedroom. Reardon could not raise himself, but he stretched out his hand and took hers, and gazed eagerly at her. She must have been weeping, he felt sure of that, and there was an expression on her face such as he had never seen there.

At ten, Amy walked into the bedroom. Reardon couldn't lift himself up, but he reached out and took her hand, looking at her with great interest. He was sure she had been crying, and there was a look on her face that he had never seen before.

‘How is Willie?’

"How's Willie?"

‘Better, dear; much better.’

“Better, darling; much better.”

He still searched her face.

He kept searching her face.

‘Ought you to leave him?’

‘Should you leave him?’

‘Hush! You mustn’t speak.’

‘Shh! You can’t talk.’

Tears broke from her eyes, and Reardon had the conviction that the child was dead.

Tears streamed down her face, and Reardon was convinced that the child was dead.

‘The truth, Amy!’

"The truth, Amy!"

She threw herself on her knees by the bedside, and pressed her wet cheek against his hand.

She dropped to her knees beside the bed and pressed her tear-streaked cheek against his hand.

‘I am come to nurse you, dear husband,’ she said a moment after, standing up again and kissing his forehead. ‘I have only you now.’

‘I’m here to take care of you, dear husband,’ she said a moment later, standing up again and kissing his forehead. ‘You’re all I have now.’

His heart sank, and for a moment so great a terror was upon him that he closed his eyes and seemed to pass into utter darkness. But those last words of hers repeated themselves in his mind, and at length they brought a deep solace. Poor little Willie had been the cause of the first coldness between him and Amy; her love for him had given place to a mother’s love for the child. Now it would be as in the first days of their marriage; they would again be all in all to each other.

His heart dropped, and for a moment, he felt such overwhelming fear that he closed his eyes and slipped into complete darkness. But her last words echoed in his mind, eventually bringing him comfort. Poor little Willie had caused the initial distance between him and Amy; her love for him had turned into a mother’s love for their child. Now it would be like in the early days of their marriage; they would once again be everything to each other.

‘You oughtn’t to have come, feeling so ill,’ she said to him. ‘You should have let me know, dear.’

‘You shouldn't have come feeling so sick,’ she said to him. ‘You should have told me, dear.’

He smiled and kissed her hand.

He smiled and kissed her hand.

‘And you kept the truth from me last night, in kindness.’

‘And you hid the truth from me last night, out of kindness.’

She checked herself, knowing that agitation must be harmful to him. She had hoped to conceal the child’s death, but the effort was too much for her overstrung nerves. And indeed it was only possible for her to remain an hour or two by this sick-bed, for she was exhausted by her night of watching, and the sudden agony with which it had concluded. Shortly after Amy’s departure, a professional nurse came to attend upon what the doctor had privately characterised as a very grave case.

She composed herself, realizing that being upset would only hurt him. She had hoped to keep the child's death a secret, but it was too much for her frayed nerves. In fact, she could only stay by the sickbed for an hour or two because she was worn out from the night of watching and the sudden pain that had followed. Shortly after Amy left, a professional nurse arrived to care for what the doctor had privately described as a very serious case.

By the evening its gravity was in no respect diminished. The sufferer had ceased to cough and to make restless movements, and had become lethargic; later, he spoke deliriously, or rather muttered, for his words were seldom intelligible. Amy had returned to the room at four o’clock, and remained till far into the night; she was physically exhausted, and could do little but sit in a chair by the bedside and shed silent tears, or gaze at vacancy in the woe of her sudden desolation. Telegrams had been exchanged with her mother, who was to arrive in Brighton to-morrow morning; the child’s funeral would probably be on the third day from this.

By evening, the weight of the situation hadn’t lessened at all. The patient had stopped coughing and moving restlessly, becoming lethargic instead. Later, he spoke in a delirious way, or rather muttered, as his words were often hard to understand. Amy returned to the room at four o’clock and stayed well into the night; she was physically drained and could do little more than sit in a chair next to the bed, shedding silent tears or staring blankly at nothing in the despair of her sudden loss. Telegrams had been sent back and forth with her mother, who was set to arrive in Brighton tomorrow morning; the child’s funeral would likely take place on the third day from now.

When she rose to go away for the night, leaving the nurse in attendance, Reardon seemed to lie in a state of unconsciousness, but just as she was turning from the bed, he opened his eyes and pronounced her name.

When she got up to leave for the night, with the nurse standing by, Reardon appeared to be unconscious. But just as she was turning away from the bed, he opened his eyes and said her name.

‘I am here, Edwin,’ she answered, bending over him.

‘I’m here, Edwin,’ she replied, leaning over him.

‘Will you let Biffen know?’ he said in low but very clear tones.

“Will you let Biffen know?” he said in a quiet but very clear voice.

‘That you are ill dear? I will write at once, or telegraph, if you like. What is his address?’

'You're unwell, dear? I'll write right away, or send a text if you prefer. What’s his address?'

He had closed his eyes again, and there came no reply. Amy repeated her question twice; she was turning from him in hopelessness when his voice became audible.

He had closed his eyes again, and there was no response. Amy asked her question twice; she was about to turn away from him in despair when his voice finally broke through.

‘I can’t remember his new address. I know it, but I can’t remember.’

‘I can’t recall his new address. I know it, but it just won’t come to mind.’

She had to leave him thus.

She had to leave him like this.

The next day his breathing was so harassed that he had to be raised against pillows. But throughout the hours of daylight his mind was clear, and from time to time he whispered words of tenderness in reply to Amy’s look. He never willingly relinquished her hand, and repeatedly he pressed it against his cheek or lips. Vainly he still endeavoured to recall his friend’s address.

The next day, his breathing was so strained that he had to be propped up with pillows. But throughout the day, his mind was sharp, and every now and then, he whispered sweet words in response to Amy’s gaze. He never let go of her hand willingly, and he often pressed it against his cheek or lips. He still tried in vain to remember his friend’s address.

‘Couldn’t Mr Carter discover it for you?’ Amy asked.

“Couldn’t Mr. Carter find it for you?” Amy asked.

‘Perhaps. You might try.’

"Maybe. You could give it a shot."

She would have suggested applying to Jasper Milvain, but that name must not be mentioned. Whelpdale, also, would perchance know where Biffen lived, but Whelpdale’s address he had also forgotten.

She would have suggested reaching out to Jasper Milvain, but that name can’t be brought up. Whelpdale might also know where Biffen lived, but he had forgotten Whelpdale’s address too.

At night there were long periods of delirium; not mere confused muttering, but continuous talk which the listeners could follow perfectly.

At night, there were long stretches of delirium; not just scattered mumbling, but nonstop talking that the listeners could understand completely.

For the most part the sufferer’s mind was occupied with revival of the distress he had undergone whilst making those last efforts to write something worthy of himself. Amy’s heart was wrung as she heard him living through that time of supreme misery—misery which she might have done so much to alleviate, had not selfish fears and irritated pride caused her to draw further and further from him. Hers was the kind of penitence which is forced by sheer stress of circumstances on a nature which resents any form of humiliation; she could not abandon herself to unreserved grief for what she had done or omitted, and the sense of this defect made a great part of her affliction. When her husband lay in mute lethargy, she thought only of her dead child, and mourned the loss; but his delirious utterances constrained her to break from that bittersweet preoccupation, to confuse her mourning with self-reproach and with fears.

For the most part, the sufferer’s mind was filled with memories of the pain he experienced while trying to write something that would truly represent him. Amy felt her heart ache as she listened to him relive that time of intense suffering—suffering that she could have helped ease, if not for her own selfish fears and hurt pride that pushed her further away from him. Her regret was the kind that comes from being forced by circumstances upon someone who resents feeling humiliated; she couldn’t fully give in to her sorrow for what she had done or failed to do, and this awareness added to her suffering. When her husband lay in silent lethargy, her thoughts were only of their deceased child, mourning that loss; but his delirious ramblings forced her to pull away from that bittersweet reflection, mixing her grief with self-blame and anxiety.

Though unconsciously, he was addressing her: ‘I can do no more, Amy. My brain seems to be worn out; I can’t compose, I can’t even think. Look! I have been sitting here for hours, and I have done only that little bit, half a dozen lines. Such poor stuff too! I should burn it, only I can’t afford. I must do my regular quantity every day, no matter what it is.’

Though he didn't realize it, he was talking to her: ‘I can’t do any more, Amy. My brain feels exhausted; I can’t write, I can’t even think. Look! I've been sitting here for hours, and I've only managed to write this little bit, just a few lines. Such bad stuff too! I would throw it away, but I can't afford to. I need to produce a certain amount every day, no matter what it is.’

The nurse, who was present when he talked in this way, looked to Amy for an explanation.

The nurse, who was there when he spoke like this, glanced at Amy for an explanation.

‘My husband is an author,’ Amy answered. ‘Not long ago he was obliged to write when he was ill and ought to have been resting.’

‘My husband is a writer,’ Amy replied. ‘Not long ago, he had to work while he was sick instead of taking the time to rest.’

‘I always thought it must be hard work writing books,’ said the nurse with a shake of her head.

‘I always thought it must be tough writing books,’ said the nurse, shaking her head.

‘You don’t understand me,’ the voice pursued, dreadful as a voice always is when speaking independently of the will. ‘You think I am only a poor creature, because I can do nothing better than this. If only I had money enough to rest for a year or two, you should see. Just because I have no money I must sink to this degradation. And I am losing you as well; you don’t love me!’

‘You don’t get me,’ the voice continued, haunting like a voice always is when it speaks without any control. ‘You think I’m just a pathetic being because I can’t do anything better than this. If only I had enough money to take a break for a year or two, you’d see. Just because I’m broke, I have to endure this shame. And I’m losing you too; you don’t love me!’

He began to moan in anguish.

He started to groan in pain.

But a happy change presently came over his dreaming. He fell into animated description of his experiences in Greece and Italy, and after talking for a long time, he turned his head and said in a perfectly natural tone:

But a joyful change soon came over his dreaming. He began to excitedly describe his experiences in Greece and Italy, and after talking for a long time, he turned his head and said in a completely natural tone:

‘Amy, do you know that Biffen and I are going to Greece?’

‘Amy, did you know that Biffen and I are going to Greece?’

She believed he spoke consciously, and replied:

She thought he was speaking on purpose and responded:

‘You must take me with you, Edwin.’

‘You have to take me with you, Edwin.’

He paid no attention to this remark, but went on with the same deceptive accent.

He ignored this comment and continued with the same fake accent.

‘He deserves a holiday after nearly getting burnt to death to save his novel. Imagine the old fellow plunging headlong into the flames to rescue his manuscript! Don’t say that authors can’t be heroic!’

‘He deserves a vacation after almost getting burned alive to save his novel. Can you picture the old guy jumping straight into the flames to save his manuscript? Don’t say that authors can’t be heroic!’

And he laughed gaily.

And he laughed happily.

Another morning broke. It was possible, said the doctors (a second had been summoned), that a crisis which drew near might bring the favourable turn; but Amy formed her own opinion from the way in which the nurse expressed herself. She felt sure that the gravest fears were entertained. Before noon Reardon awoke from what had seemed natural sleep—save for the rapid breathing—and of a sudden recollected the number of the house in Cleveland Street at which Biffen was now living. He uttered it without explanation. Amy at once conjectured his meaning, and as soon as her surmise was confirmed she despatched a telegram to her husband’s friend.

Another morning arrived. The doctors (a second one had been called in) suggested that a looming crisis might lead to a positive change; however, Amy formed her own opinion based on the nurse’s tone. She was certain that the gravest concerns were held. Before noon, Reardon woke up from what seemed like a natural sleep—except for his rapid breathing—and suddenly remembered the number of the house on Cleveland Street where Biffen was currently living. He said it out loud without any context. Amy immediately guessed what he meant, and once her suspicion was confirmed, she sent a telegram to her husband’s friend.

That evening, as Amy was on the point of returning to the sick-room after having dined at her friend’s house, it was announced that a gentleman named Biffen wished to see her. She found him in the dining-room, and, even amid her distress, it was a satisfaction to her that he presented a far more conventional appearance than in the old days. All the garments he wore, even his hat, gloves, and boots, were new; a surprising state of things, explained by the fact of his commercial brother having sent him a present of ten pounds, a practical expression of sympathy with him in his recent calamity. Biffen could not speak; he looked with alarm at Amy’s pallid face. In a few words she told him of Reardon’s condition.

That evening, as Amy was about to head back to the sick room after having dinner at her friend's house, she was informed that a man named Biffen wanted to see her. She found him in the dining room, and even in her distress, she felt some relief that he looked much more put together than he used to. Everything he wore, including his hat, gloves, and boots, was brand new; this surprising change was due to his commercial brother sending him a gift of ten pounds, a practical gesture of sympathy for his recent misfortune. Biffen couldn't speak; he looked at Amy's pale face with concern. In a few brief words, she told him about Reardon's condition.

‘I feared this,’ he replied under his breath. ‘He was ill when I saw him off at London Bridge. But Willie is better, I trust?’

‘I was afraid of this,’ he said quietly. ‘He was unwell when I saw him off at London Bridge. But Willie is doing better, I hope?’

Amy tried to answer, but tears filled her eyes and her head drooped. Harold was overcome with a sense of fatality; grief and dread held him motionless.

Amy tried to respond, but tears blurred her vision and her head hung low. Harold was overwhelmed by a feeling of inevitability; sadness and fear kept him still.

They conversed brokenly for a few minutes, then left the house, Biffen carrying the hand-bag with which he had travelled hither. When they reached the hotel he waited apart until it was ascertained whether he could enter the sick-room. Amy rejoined him and said with a faint smile:

They chatted awkwardly for a few minutes, then left the house, with Biffen carrying the handbag he had brought with him. When they got to the hotel, he stood off to the side, waiting to see if he could enter the sick room. Amy came back to him and said with a weak smile:

‘He is conscious, and was very glad to hear that you had come. But don’t let him try to speak much.’

‘He’s aware and was really happy to hear that you came. But don’t let him try to talk too much.’

The change that had come over his friend’s countenance was to Harold, of course, far more gravely impressive than to those who had watched at the bedside. In the drawn features, large sunken eyes, thin and discoloured lips, it seemed to him that he read too surely the presage of doom. After holding the shrunken hand for a moment he was convulsed with an agonising sob, and had to turn away.

The change in his friend's expression seemed to Harold, of course, much more seriously impactful than to those who had been watching by the bedside. In the gaunt features, deep-set eyes, and pale, discolored lips, he felt he could clearly see the signs of impending doom. After holding the frail hand for a moment, he was overwhelmed with a painful sob and had to turn away.

Amy saw that her husband wished to speak to her; she bent over him.

Amy noticed that her husband wanted to talk to her; she leaned over him.

‘Ask him to stay, dear. Give him a room in the hotel.’

‘Ask him to stay, sweetheart. Get him a room at the hotel.’

‘I will.’

"I will."

Biffen sat down by the bedside, and remained for half an hour. His friend inquired whether he had yet heard about the novel; the answer was a shake of the head. When he rose, Reardon signed to him to bend down, and whispered:

Biffen sat down by the bedside and stayed there for half an hour. His friend asked if he had heard about the novel yet; the response was a shake of his head. When he got up, Reardon motioned for him to lean in closer and whispered:

‘It doesn’t matter what happens; she is mine again.’

‘No matter what happens, she's mine again.’

The next day was very cold, but a blue sky gleamed over land and sea. The drives and promenades were thronged with people in exuberant health and spirits. Biffen regarded this spectacle with resentful scorn; at another time it would have moved him merely to mirth, but not even the sound of the breakers when he had wandered as far as possible from human contact could help him to think with resignation of the injustice which triumphs so flagrantly in the destinies of men. Towards Amy he had no shadow of unkindness; the sight of her in tears had impressed him as profoundly, in another way, as that of his friend’s wasted features. She and Reardon were again one, and his love for them both was stronger than any emotion of tenderness he had ever known.

The next day was really cold, but a bright blue sky shone over the land and sea. The streets and walkways were crowded with people full of energy and good spirits. Biffen looked at this scene with bitter disdain; at another time, it would have just made him laugh, but even the sound of the waves when he wandered as far as he could from others couldn’t help him accept the blatant injustice in people’s lives. He had no shade of unkindness towards Amy; seeing her in tears affected him deeply, in a different way, just like seeing his friend's gaunt face. She and Reardon were united again, and his love for both of them was stronger than any tenderness he had ever felt.

In the afternoon he again sat by the bedside. Every symptom of the sufferer’s condition pointed to an approaching end: a face that had grown cadaverous, livid lips, breath drawn in hurrying gasps. Harold despaired of another look of recognition. But as he sat with his forehead resting on his hand Amy touched him; Reardon had turned his face in their direction, and with a conscious gaze.

In the afternoon, he once again sat by the bedside. Every sign of the sufferer’s condition indicated that the end was near: a face that had become pale, blue-tinged lips, breath coming in quick gasps. Harold gave up hope of seeing any sign of recognition. But as he sat with his forehead resting on his hand, Amy touched him; Reardon had turned his face toward them, looking aware.

‘I shall never go with you to Greece,’ he said distinctly.

‘I will never go with you to Greece,’ he said clearly.

There was silence again. Biffen did not move his eyes from the deathly mask; in a minute or two he saw a smile soften its lineaments, and Reardon again spoke:

There was silence again. Biffen didn’t take his eyes off the lifeless mask; after a minute or two, he saw a smile soften its features, and Reardon spoke once more:

‘How often you and I have quoted it!—

‘How often you and I have quoted it!—

     “We are such stuff
     As dreams are made on, and our little life
     Is rounded with a sleep.—“’
    
     “We are made of the same stuff as dreams, and our short lives are completed with a sleep.”

The remaining words were indistinguishable, and, as if the effort of utterance had exhausted him, his eyes closed, and he sank into lethargy.

The rest of the words were unclear, and, as if speaking had worn him out, his eyes shut, and he fell into a daze.

When he came down from his bedroom on the following morning, Biffen was informed that his friend had died between two and three o’clock. At the same time he received a note in which Amy requested him to come and see her late in the afternoon. He spent the day in a long walk along the eastward cliffs; again the sun shone brilliantly, and the sea was flecked with foam upon its changing green and azure. It seemed to him that he had never before known solitude, even through all the years of his lonely and sad existence.

When he came down from his bedroom the next morning, Biffen was told that his friend had passed away between two and three o’clock. At the same time, he received a note from Amy asking him to come and see her later in the afternoon. He spent the day taking a long walk along the cliffs to the east; once again, the sun was shining brightly, and the sea was dotted with foam on its shifting green and blue waters. It felt to him like he had never truly experienced solitude, even throughout all the years of his lonely and sorrowful life.

At sunset he obeyed Amy’s summons. He found her calm, but with the signs of long weeping.

At sunset, he answered Amy's call. He found her composed, but showing signs of having cried for a long time.

‘At the last moment,’ she said, ‘he was able to speak to me, and you were mentioned. He wished you to have all that he has left in his room at Islington. When I come back to London, will you take me there and let me see the room just as when he lived in it? Let the people in the house know what has happened, and that I am responsible for whatever will be owing.’

‘At the last minute,’ she said, ‘he was able to talk to me, and you were mentioned. He wanted you to have everything he left in his room at Islington. When I come back to London, will you take me there and let me see the room just as it was when he lived in it? Please let the people in the house know what’s happened and that I’m responsible for any debts.’

Her resolve to behave composedly gave way as soon as Harold’s broken voice had replied. Hysterical sobbing made further speech from her impossible, and Biffen, after holding her hand reverently for a moment, left her alone.

Her determination to stay calm disappeared as soon as Harold’s shaky voice responded. She was overcome with hysterical sobbing, making it impossible for her to speak any further. Biffen, after holding her hand gently for a moment, left her alone.





CHAPTER XXXIII. THE SUNNY WAY

On an evening of early summer, six months after the death of Edwin Reardon, Jasper of the facile pen was bending over his desk, writing rapidly by the warm western light which told that sunset was near. Not far from him sat his younger sister; she was reading, and the book in her hand bore the title, ‘Mr Bailey, Grocer.’

On a warm early summer evening, six months after Edwin Reardon's death, Jasper, the quick-witted writer, was hunched over his desk, scribbling away in the soft western light that signaled sunset was approaching. Not too far from him sat his younger sister; she was reading, and the book she held was titled 'Mr. Bailey, Grocer.'

‘How will this do?’ Jasper exclaimed, suddenly throwing down his pen.

‘How's this?’ Jasper exclaimed, suddenly tossing his pen down.

And he read aloud a critical notice of the book with which Dora was occupied; a notice of the frankly eulogistic species, beginning with: ‘It is seldom nowadays that the luckless reviewer of novels can draw the attention of the public to a new work which is at once powerful and original;’ and ending: ‘The word is a bold one, but we do not hesitate to pronounce this book a masterpiece.’

And he read aloud a critical review of the book that Dora was working on; a review that was quite flattering, starting with: ‘It’s rare these days for a struggling novel reviewer to bring the public's attention to a new work that is both impactful and original;’ and ending with: ‘The term is a daring one, but we confidently declare this book a masterpiece.’

‘Is that for The Current?’ asked Dora, when he had finished.

‘Is that for The Current?’ asked Dora when he was done.

‘No, for The West End. Fadge won’t allow anyone but himself to be lauded in that style. I may as well do the notice for The Current now, as I’ve got my hand in.’

'No, for The West End. Fadge won’t let anyone but himself get that kind of recognition. I might as well write the notice for The Current now since I'm already working on it.'

He turned to his desk again, and before daylight failed him had produced a piece of more cautious writing, very favourable on the whole, but with reserves and slight censures. This also he read to Dora.

He turned back to his desk and, before daylight faded, had written a more careful piece that was overall quite positive, but included some reservations and minor criticisms. He read this to Dora as well.

‘You wouldn’t suspect they were written by the same man, eh?’

'You wouldn't guess they were written by the same guy, right?'

‘No. You have changed the style very skilfully.’

‘No. You have changed the style very skillfully.’

‘I doubt if they’ll be much use. Most people will fling the book down with yawns before they’re half through the first volume. If I knew a doctor who had many cases of insomnia in hand, I would recommend “Mr Bailey” to him as a specific.’

'I doubt they'll be very helpful. Most people will toss the book aside with yawns before finishing the first volume. If I knew a doctor who dealt with a lot of insomnia cases, I'd suggest “Mr. Bailey” to him as a cure.'

‘Oh, but it is really clever, Jasper!’

‘Oh, but that's really clever, Jasper!’

‘Not a doubt of it. I half believe what I have written. And if only we could get it mentioned in a leader or two, and so on, old Biffen’s fame would be established with the better sort of readers. But he won’t sell three hundred copies. I wonder whether Robertson would let me do a notice for his paper?’

‘No doubt about it. I sort of believe what I’ve written. And if we could just get it mentioned in a couple of editorials and so on, old Biffen’s reputation would be established with the right kind of readers. But he won’t sell three hundred copies. I wonder if Robertson would let me write a review for his paper?’

‘Biffen ought to be grateful to you, if he knew,’ said Dora, laughing.

‘Biffen should be grateful to you, if he only knew,’ said Dora, laughing.

‘Yet, now, there are people who would cry out that this kind of thing is disgraceful. It’s nothing of the kind. Speaking seriously, we know that a really good book will more likely than not receive fair treatment from two or three reviewers; yes, but also more likely than not it will be swamped in the flood of literature that pours forth week after week, and won’t have attention fixed long enough upon it to establish its repute. The struggle for existence among books is nowadays as severe as among men. If a writer has friends connected with the press, it is the plain duty of those friends to do their utmost to help him. What matter if they exaggerate, or even lie? The simple, sober truth has no chance whatever of being listened to, and it’s only by volume of shouting that the ear of the public is held. What use is it to Biffen if his work struggles to slow recognition ten years hence? Besides, as I say, the growing flood of literature swamps everything but works of primary genius. If a clever and conscientious book does not spring to success at once, there’s precious small chance that it will survive. Suppose it were possible for me to write a round dozen reviews of this book, in as many different papers, I would do it with satisfaction. Depend upon it, this kind of thing will be done on that scale before long. And it’s quite natural. A man’s friends must be helped, by whatever means, quocunque modo, as Biffen himself would say.’

‘Yet, now, there are people who would shout that this kind of thing is disgraceful. It's nothing of the sort. Seriously, we know that a really good book is more likely than not to get fair treatment from a couple of reviewers; yes, but it's also more likely than not to be overwhelmed in the constant stream of literature that comes out week after week, and it won't get enough attention to build its reputation. The competition among books these days is as tough as among people. If a writer has friends connected to the press, it's their clear duty to do everything they can to help him. What does it matter if they exaggerate or even lie? The simple, honest truth has no real chance of being heard, and it's only through the loudness of their shouting that the public's attention is captured. What good is it to Biffen if his work struggles for slow recognition ten years down the line? Besides, as I said, the ever-growing flood of literature drowns everything except for works of true genius. If a clever and well-crafted book doesn’t achieve immediate success, there's very little chance it will survive. Suppose I could write a dozen reviews of this book in as many different papers; I'd do it with pleasure. Count on it, this kind of thing will be done on that scale before long. And it's perfectly natural. A man's friends must be supported, by whatever means, quocunque modo, as Biffen himself would say.’

‘I dare say he doesn’t even think of you as a friend now.’

‘I bet he doesn’t even see you as a friend anymore.’

‘Very likely not. It’s ages since I saw him. But there’s much magnanimity in my character, as I have often told you. It delights me to be generous, whenever I can afford it.’

‘Probably not. It's been a long time since I saw him. But I have a lot of generosity in my character, as I've often mentioned to you. It makes me happy to be generous whenever I can.’

Dusk was gathering about them. As they sat talking, there came a tap at the door, and the summons to enter was obeyed by Mr Whelpdale.

Dusk was settling in around them. As they sat chatting, there was a knock at the door, and Mr. Whelpdale entered in response to the invitation.

‘I was passing,’ he said in his respectful voice, ‘and couldn’t resist the temptation.’

‘I was just passing by,’ he said in his polite tone, ‘and couldn’t resist the temptation.’

Jasper struck a match and lit the lamp. In this clearer light Whelpdale was exhibited as a young man of greatly improved exterior; he wore a cream-coloured waistcoat, a necktie of subtle hue, and delicate gloves; prosperity breathed from his whole person. It was, in fact, only a moderate prosperity to which he had as yet attained, but the future beckoned to him flatteringly.

Jasper struck a match and lit the lamp. In this clearer light, Whelpdale appeared as a young man with a much better appearance; he wore a cream-colored waistcoat, a subtly colored necktie, and delicate gloves; prosperity radiated from him. It was, in reality, only a modest amount of prosperity that he had reached so far, but the future seemed to call him enticingly.

Early in this year, his enterprise as ‘literary adviser’ had brought him in contact with a man of some pecuniary resources, who proposed to establish an agency for the convenience of authors who were not skilled in disposing of their productions to the best advantage. Under the name of Fleet & Co., this business was shortly set on foot, and Whelpdale’s services were retained on satisfactory terms. The birth of the syndicate system had given new scope to literary agencies, and Mr Fleet was a man of keen eye for commercial opportunities.

Early this year, his role as a 'literary advisor' connected him with a man who had some financial means, and he suggested starting an agency to help authors who weren't good at getting the best deals for their work. This business, called Fleet & Co., was quickly established, and Whelpdale was hired on favorable terms. The rise of the syndicate system had opened up new possibilities for literary agencies, and Mr. Fleet was someone with a sharp eye for business opportunities.

‘Well, have you read Biffen’s book?’ asked Jasper.

‘Well, have you read Biffen’s book?’ asked Jasper.

‘Wonderful, isn’t it! A work of genius, I am convinced. Ha! you have it there, Miss Dora. But I’m afraid it is hardly for you.’

‘Isn’t it amazing! A real masterpiece, I’m sure of it. Ha! You’ve got it there, Miss Dora. But I’m afraid it’s not really for you.’

‘And why not, Mr Whelpdale?’

‘And why not, Mr. Whelpdale?’

‘You should only read of beautiful things, of happy lives. This book must depress you.’

‘You should only read about beautiful things and happy lives. This book is bound to bring you down.’

‘But why will you imagine me such a feeble-minded person?’ asked Dora. ‘You have so often spoken like this. I have really no ambition to be a doll of such superfine wax.’

‘But why do you think I’m such a weak-minded person?’ asked Dora. ‘You’ve said things like this so many times. I really have no desire to be a doll made of such delicate wax.’

The habitual flatterer looked deeply concerned.

The regular flatterer seemed genuinely worried.

‘Pray forgive me!’ he murmured humbly, leaning forwards towards the girl with eyes which deprecated her displeasure. ‘I am very far indeed from attributing weakness to you. It was only the natural, unreflecting impulse; one finds it so difficult to associate you, even as merely a reader, with such squalid scenes.

“Please forgive me!” he said quietly, leaning forward towards the girl with eyes that showed he regretted upsetting her. “I definitely don’t see you as weak. It was just a natural, thoughtless reaction; it’s hard to picture you, even just as a reader, in such grim situations.”

The ignobly decent, as poor Biffen calls it, is so very far from that sphere in which you are naturally at home.’

The shamefully decent, as poor Biffen puts it, is so far removed from the sphere where you naturally belong.

There was some slight affectation in his language, but the tone attested sincere feeling. Jasper was watching him with half an eye, and glancing occasionally at Dora.

There was a bit of pretentiousness in his language, but the tone showed genuine emotion. Jasper was keeping an eye on him and occasionally glancing at Dora.

‘No doubt,’ said the latter, ‘it’s my story in The English Girl that inclines you to think me a goody-goody sort of young woman.’

‘No doubt,’ said the latter, ‘it’s my story in The English Girl that makes you think I’m a goody-goody kind of young woman.’

‘So far from that, Miss Dora, I was only waiting for an opportunity to tell you how exceedingly delighted I have been with the last two weeks’ instalments. In all seriousness, I consider that story of yours the best thing of the kind that ever came under my notice. You seem to me to have discovered a new genre; such writing as this has surely never been offered to girls, and all the readers of the paper must be immensely grateful to you. I run eagerly to buy the paper each week; I assure you I do. The stationer thinks I purchase it for a sister, I suppose. But each section of the story seems to be better than the last. Mark the prophecy which I now make: when this tale is published in a volume its success will be great. You will be recognised, Miss Dora, as the new writer for modern English girls.’

“Honestly, Miss Dora, I was just looking for a chance to tell you how incredibly happy I’ve been with the last two weeks’ installments. Seriously, I think your story is the best thing I’ve ever seen. It feels like you’ve created a whole new genre; writing like this has never really been available to girls, and all the readers of the paper must be so thankful to you. I rush out to buy the paper every week, I promise you I do. The stationer probably thinks I'm buying it for a sister. But every section of the story just gets better and better. Here’s my prediction: when this story is published as a book, it’s going to be a huge hit. You’ll be recognized, Miss Dora, as the new author for modern English girls.”

The subject of this panegyric coloured a little and laughed. Unmistakably she was pleased.

The subject of this praise blushed slightly and laughed. It was clear she was happy.

‘Look here, Whelpdale,’ said Jasper, ‘I can’t have this; Dora’s conceit, please to remember, is, to begin with, only a little less than my own, and you will make her unendurable. Her tale is well enough in its way, but then its way is a very humble one.’

‘Listen up, Whelpdale,’ said Jasper, ‘I can’t have this; remember, Dora’s arrogance is, to start with, just a bit less than my own, and you’ll make her unbearable. Her story is fine in its own way, but that way is quite modest.’

‘I deny it!’ cried the other, excitedly. ‘How can it be called a humble line of work to provide reading, which is at once intellectual and moving and exquisitely pure, for the most important part of the population—the educated and refined young people who are just passing from girlhood to womanhood?’

‘I deny it!’ shouted the other, passionately. ‘How can anyone call it a humble job to provide reading material that is both intellectual and emotional and beautifully pure for the most significant segment of the population—the educated and refined young people who are transitioning from girlhood to womanhood?’

‘The most important fiddlestick!’

‘The most important thing!’

‘You are grossly irreverent, my dear Milvain. I cannot appeal to your sister, for she’s too modest to rate her own sex at its true value, but the vast majority of thoughtful men would support me. You yourself do, though you affect this profane way of speaking. And we know,’ he looked at Dora, ‘that he wouldn’t talk like this if Miss Yule were present.’

‘You’re being really disrespectful, my dear Milvain. I can’t turn to your sister for help because she's too modest to recognize the true worth of her own gender, but most considerate men would agree with me. You actually do too, even if you pretend to talk like this. And we know,’ he glanced at Dora, ‘that he wouldn’t speak this way if Miss Yule were here.’

Jasper changed the topic of conversation, and presently Whelpdale was able to talk with more calmness. The young man, since his association with Fleet & Co., had become fertile in suggestions of literary enterprise, and at present he was occupied with a project of special hopefulness.

Jasper switched the topic of conversation, and soon Whelpdale was able to speak with more composure. Since joining Fleet & Co., the young man had become full of ideas for literary projects, and right now he was focused on a particularly promising one.

‘I want to find a capitalist,’ he said, ‘who will get possession of that paper Chat, and transform it according to an idea I have in my head. The thing is doing very indifferently, but I am convinced it might be made splendid property, with a few changes in the way of conducting it.’

‘I want to find a capitalist,’ he said, ‘who will take over that paper Chat and reshape it based on an idea I have in mind. It's doing pretty poorly right now, but I’m sure it could turn into something amazing with a few changes in how it’s run.’

‘The paper is rubbish,’ remarked Jasper, ‘and the kind of rubbish—oddly enough—which doesn’t attract people.’

‘This paper is terrible,’ Jasper said, ‘and it’s the kind of terrible—strangely enough—that doesn’t draw people in.’

‘Precisely, but the rubbish is capable of being made a very valuable article, if it were only handled properly. I have talked to the people about it again and again, but I can’t get them to believe what I say. Now just listen to my notion. In the first place, I should slightly alter the name; only slightly, but that little alteration would in itself have an enormous effect. Instead of Chat I should call it Chit-Chat!’

‘Exactly, but the trash can be turned into something really valuable if it’s handled the right way. I've talked to people about it over and over, but I can’t get them to believe what I’m saying. Now, just hear me out. First of all, I would make a slight change to the name; just a small tweak, but that change would have a huge impact. Instead of Chat, I would call it Chit-Chat!’

Jasper exploded with mirth.

Jasper burst out laughing.

‘That’s brilliant!’ he cried. ‘A stroke of genius!’

"That's amazing!" he exclaimed. "What a great idea!"

‘Are you serious? Or are you making fun of me? I believe it is a stroke of genius. Chat doesn’t attract anyone, but Chit-Chat would sell like hot cakes, as they say in America. I know I am right; laugh as you will.’

‘Are you serious? Or are you joking around? I think it's a brilliant idea. Chat doesn't get anyone's attention, but Chit-Chat would sell like crazy, as they say in America. I know I'm right; laugh all you want.’

‘On the same principle,’ cried Jasper, ‘if The Tatler were changed to Tittle-Tattle, its circulation would be trebled.’

‘By the same idea,’ shouted Jasper, ‘if The Tatler was renamed to Tittle-Tattle, its readership would triple.’

Whelpdale smote his knee in delight.

Whelpdale hit his knee in joy.

‘An admirable idea! Many a true word uttered in joke, and this is an instance! Tittle-Tattle—a magnificent title; the very thing to catch the multitude.’

‘What a great idea! Many true words are spoken in jest, and this is a perfect example! Tittle-Tattle—a fantastic title; just what you need to attract the masses.’

Dora was joining in the merriment, and for a minute or two nothing but bursts of laughter could be heard.

Dora was having fun, and for a minute or two, all that could be heard were bursts of laughter.

‘Now do let me go on,’ implored the man of projects, when the noise subsided. ‘That’s only one change, though a most important one. What I next propose is this:—I know you will laugh again, but I will demonstrate to you that I am right. No article in the paper is to measure more than two inches in length, and every inch must be broken into at least two paragraphs.’

‘Now please let me continue,’ urged the man with ideas when the noise calmed down. ‘That’s just one change, though it’s a really important one. What I’m suggesting next is this:—I know you’ll laugh again, but I’ll prove to you that I’m right. No article in the paper should be longer than two inches, and every inch must be divided into at least two paragraphs.’

‘Superb!’

‘Awesome!’

‘But you are joking, Mr Whelpdale!’ exclaimed Dora.

‘But you’re joking, Mr. Whelpdale!’ exclaimed Dora.

‘No, I am perfectly serious. Let me explain my principle. I would have the paper address itself to the quarter-educated; that is to say, the great new generation that is being turned out by the Board schools, the young men and women who can just read, but are incapable of sustained attention. People of this kind want something to occupy them in trains and on ‘buses and trams. As a rule they care for no newspapers except the Sunday ones; what they want is the lightest and frothiest of chit-chatty information—bits of stories, bits of description, bits of scandal, bits of jokes, bits of statistics, bits of foolery. Am I not right? Everything must be very short, two inches at the utmost; their attention can’t sustain itself beyond two inches. Even chat is too solid for them: they want chit-chat.’

‘No, I’m completely serious. Let me explain my point. I would want the paper to cater to the quarter-educated; that is to say, the large new generation coming out of the public schools, the young men and women who can barely read but can’t focus for long. These people need something to keep them entertained on trains, buses, and trams. Usually, they’re only interested in Sunday newspapers; what they want is the lightest and most superficial information—snippets of stories, bits of descriptions, bits of gossip, bits of jokes, bits of statistics, bits of nonsense. Am I right? Everything has to be very short, no more than two inches; their attention can’t hold out beyond that. Even conversation is too heavy for them: they want chit-chat.’

Jasper had begun to listen seriously.

Jasper had started to pay attention.

‘There’s something in this, Whelpdale,’ he remarked.

‘There’s something to this, Whelpdale,’ he said.

‘Ha! I have caught you?’ cried the other delightedly. ‘Of course there’s something in it?’

‘Ha! I’ve caught you!’ the other exclaimed joyfully. ‘Of course, there’s something to it!’

‘But—’ began Dora, and checked herself.

‘But—’ started Dora, then hesitated.

‘You were going to say—’ Whelpdale bent towards her with deference.

'You were about to say—' Whelpdale leaned toward her respectfully.

‘Surely these poor, silly people oughtn’t to be encouraged in their weakness.’

‘Surely these poor, silly people shouldn’t be supported in their weakness.’

Whelpdale’s countenance fell. He looked ashamed of himself. But Jasper came speedily to the rescue.

Whelpdale's expression dropped. He looked embarrassed. But Jasper quickly stepped in to help.

‘That’s twaddle, Dora. Fools will be fools to the world’s end. Answer a fool according to his folly; supply a simpleton with the reading he craves, if it will put money in your pocket. You have discouraged poor Whelpdale in one of the most notable projects of modern times.’

‘That’s nonsense, Dora. Fools will always be fools, no matter what. Respond to a fool according to their foolishness; give a simpleton the reading material they want, if it will make you money. You’ve discouraged poor Whelpdale in one of the most significant projects of our time.’

‘I shall think no more of it,’ said Whelpdale, gravely. ‘You are right, Miss Dora.’

‘I won’t think about it anymore,’ Whelpdale said seriously. ‘You’re right, Miss Dora.’

Again Jasper burst into merriment. His sister reddened, and looked uncomfortable. She began to speak timidly:

Again, Jasper burst into laughter. His sister flushed and seemed uneasy. She started to speak hesitantly:

‘You said this was for reading in trains and ‘buses?’

‘You said this was for reading on trains and buses?’

Whelpdale caught at hope.

Whelpdale held on to hope.

‘Yes. And really, you know, it may be better at such times to read chit-chat than to be altogether vacant, or to talk unprofitably. I am not sure; I bow to your opinion unreservedly.’

‘Yes. And honestly, you know, it might be better at times like this to read casual conversation than to be completely empty-minded, or to talk without any real purpose. I’m not sure; I fully respect your opinion.’

‘So long as they only read the paper at such times,’ said Dora, still hesitating. ‘One knows by experience that one really can’t fix one’s attention in travelling; even an article in a newspaper is often too long.’

‘As long as they only read the paper during those times,’ said Dora, still hesitating. ‘You know from experience that you really can’t focus when you’re traveling; even an article in a newspaper is often too long.’

‘Exactly! And if you find it so, what must be the case with the mass of untaught people, the quarter-educated? It might encourage in some of them a taste for reading—don’t you think?’

‘Exactly! And if you feel that way, what about the majority of uneducated people, the ones with only a little education? It could spark an interest in reading for some of them—don’t you think?’

‘It might,’ assented Dora, musingly. ‘And in that case you would be doing good!’

"It might," Dora agreed thoughtfully. "And if that's the case, you'd be doing something great!"

‘Distinct good!’

‘Really good!’

They smiled joyfully at each other. Then Whelpdale turned to Jasper:

They smiled happily at each other. Then Whelpdale turned to Jasper:

‘You are convinced that there is something in this?’

‘Are you sure there’s something to this?’

‘Seriously, I think there is. It would all depend on the skill of the fellows who put the thing together every week. There ought always to be one strongly sensational item—we won’t call it article. For instance, you might display on a placard: “What the Queen eats!” or “How Gladstone’s collars are made!”—things of that kind.’

‘Honestly, I think there is. It really depends on how skilled the people are who put the thing together each week. There should always be one big sensational item—we won’t call it an article. For example, you could feature a headline like: “What the Queen Eats!” or “How Gladstone’s Collars Are Made!”—things like that.’

‘To be sure, to be sure. And then, you know,’ added Whelpdale, glancing anxiously at Dora, ‘when people had been attracted by these devices, they would find a few things that were really profitable. We would give nicely written little accounts of exemplary careers, of heroic deeds, and so on. Of course nothing whatever that could be really demoralising—cela va sans dire. Well, what I was going to say was this: would you come with me to the office of Chat, and have a talk with my friend Lake, the sub-editor? I know your time is very valuable, but then you’re often running into the Will-o’-the-Wisp, and Chat is just upstairs, you know.’

‘For sure, for sure. And then, you know,’ Whelpdale said, looking nervously at Dora, ‘when people are drawn in by these methods, they’ll discover a few things that are actually profitable. We’d provide well-written little stories about inspiring lives, heroic acts, and so on. Of course, nothing that could really be demoralizing—obviously. Well, what I was going to say is this: would you come with me to Chat’s office and talk to my friend Lake, the sub-editor? I know your time is really valuable, but you often go to the Will-o’-the-Wisp, and Chat is just upstairs, you know.’

‘What use should I be?’

‘What’s my purpose?’

‘Oh, all the use in the world. Lake would pay most respectful attention to your opinion, though he thinks so little of mine. You are a man of note, I am nobody. I feel convinced that you could persuade the Chat people to adopt my idea, and they might be willing to give me a contingent share of contingent profits, if I had really shown them the way to a good thing.’

‘Oh, all the value in the world. Lake would pay great respect to your opinion, even though he thinks so little of mine. You are a notable person; I am nobody. I'm sure you could convince the Chat people to take on my idea, and they might be willing to offer me a share of potential profits if I had truly guided them to a good opportunity.’

Jasper promised to think the matter over. Whilst their talk still ran on this subject, a packet that had come by post was brought into the room. Opening it, Milvain exclaimed:

Jasper promised to think about it. While they continued discussing this topic, a package that arrived by mail was brought into the room. When Milvain opened it, he exclaimed:

‘Ha! this is lucky. There’s something here that may interest you, Whelpdale.’

‘Ha! This is great. There’s something here that might interest you, Whelpdale.’

‘Proofs?’

'Proofs?'

‘Yes. A paper I have written for The Wayside.’ He looked at Dora, who smiled. ‘How do you like the title?—“The Novels of Edwin Reardon!”’

‘Yes. I’ve written a paper for The Wayside.’ He glanced at Dora, who smiled. ‘What do you think of the title?—“The Novels of Edwin Reardon!”’

‘You don’t say so!’ cried the other. ‘What a good-hearted fellow you are, Milvain! Now that’s really a kind thing to have done. By Jove! I must shake hands with you; I must indeed! Poor Reardon! Poor old fellow!’

‘No way!’ exclaimed the other. ‘What a kind-hearted guy you are, Milvain! That’s honestly a nice thing to do. Wow! I have to shake your hand; I really do! Poor Reardon! Poor old guy!’

His eyes gleamed with moisture. Dora, observing this, looked at him so gently and sweetly that it was perhaps well he did not meet her eyes; the experience would have been altogether too much for him.

His eyes shone with tears. Dora, seeing this, looked at him so kindly and sweetly that it was probably good he didn't meet her gaze; that moment would have been overwhelmingly emotional for him.

‘It has been written for three months,’ said Jasper, ‘but we have held it over for a practical reason. When I was engaged upon it, I went to see Mortimer, and asked him if there was any chance of a new edition of Reardon’s books. He had no idea the poor fellow was dead, and the news seemed really to affect him. He promised to consider whether it would be worth while trying a new issue, and before long I heard from him that he would bring out the two best books with a decent cover and so on, provided I could get my article on Reardon into one of the monthlies. This was soon settled. The editor of The Wayside answered at once, when I wrote to him, that he should be very glad to print what I proposed, as he had a real respect for Reardon. Next month the books will be out—“Neutral Ground,” and “Hubert Reed.” Mortimer said he was sure these were the only ones that would pay for themselves. But we shall see. He may alter his opinion when my article has been read.’

“It has been written for three months,” Jasper said, “but we’ve held it back for a practical reason. While I was working on it, I went to see Mortimer and asked if there was any chance of a new edition of Reardon’s books. He had no idea the poor guy was dead, and the news really seemed to hit him. He promised to consider whether it would be worthwhile to try for a new release, and not long after, I heard from him that he would publish the two best books with a decent cover and everything, provided I could get my article on Reardon into one of the monthlies. This was settled quickly. The editor of The Wayside responded immediately when I wrote to him, saying he would be very happy to print what I proposed, as he had a genuine respect for Reardon. Next month, the books will be out—“Neutral Ground” and “Hubert Reed.” Mortimer mentioned he was sure these were the only ones that would sell well. But we’ll see. He might change his mind once my article is read.”

‘Read it to us now, Jasper, will you?’ asked Dora.

‘Read it to us now, Jasper, okay?’ asked Dora.

The request was supported by Whelpdale, and Jasper needed no pressing. He seated himself so that the lamplight fell upon the pages, and read the article through. It was an excellent piece of writing (see The Wayside, June 1884), and in places touched with true emotion. Any intelligent reader would divine that the author had been personally acquainted with the man of whom he wrote, though the fact was nowhere stated. The praise was not exaggerated, yet all the best points of Reardon’s work were admirably brought out. One who knew Jasper might reasonably have doubted, before reading this, whether he was capable of so worthily appreciating the nobler man.

The request had the backing of Whelpdale, and Jasper didn’t need any encouragement. He sat down so that the light from the lamp illuminated the pages and read the article from start to finish. It was a fantastic piece of writing (see The Wayside, June 1884), and occasionally touched on genuine feelings. Any thoughtful reader would sense that the author had a personal connection with the man he wrote about, even though this wasn’t explicitly mentioned. The praise was fair, yet all the best aspects of Reardon’s work were skillfully highlighted. Anyone familiar with Jasper might have reasonably doubted, before reading this, whether he was capable of truly appreciating the finer qualities of the nobler man.

‘I never understood Reardon so well before,’ declared Whelpdale, at the close. ‘This is a good thing well done. It’s something to be proud of, Miss Dora.’

‘I never understood Reardon so well before,’ Whelpdale stated at the end. ‘This is a great achievement. It’s something to be proud of, Miss Dora.’

‘Yes, I feel that it is,’ she replied.

‘Yes, I think it is,’ she replied.

‘Mrs Reardon ought to be very grateful to you, Milvain. By-the-by, do you ever see her?’

‘Mrs. Reardon should be really grateful to you, Milvain. By the way, do you ever see her?’

‘I have met her only once since his death—by chance.’

‘I have only met her once since he died—by chance.’

‘Of course she will marry again. I wonder who’ll be the fortunate man?’

‘Of course she will get married again. I wonder who the lucky guy will be?’

‘Fortunate, do you think?’ asked Dora quietly, without looking at him.

‘Do you think I'm lucky?’ Dora asked softly, without making eye contact.

‘Oh, I spoke rather cynically, I’m afraid,’ Whelpdale hastened to reply. ‘I was thinking of her money. Indeed, I knew Mrs Reardon only very slightly.’

‘Oh, I spoke a bit cynically, I’m afraid,’ Whelpdale quickly replied. ‘I was thinking about her money. Actually, I barely knew Mrs. Reardon at all.’

‘I don’t think you need regret it,’ Dora remarked.

‘I don’t think you need to regret it,’ Dora said.

‘Oh, well, come, come!’ put in her brother. ‘We know very well that there was little enough blame on her side.’

‘Oh, come on!’ her brother interjected. ‘We all know there was hardly any blame on her part.’

‘There was great blame!’ Dora exclaimed. ‘She behaved shamefully!

‘There was a lot of blame!’ Dora exclaimed. ‘She acted disgracefully!

I wouldn’t speak to her; I wouldn’t sit down in her company!’

I wouldn’t talk to her; I wouldn’t sit with her!

‘Bosh! What do you know about it? Wait till you are married to a man like Reardon, and reduced to utter penury.’

‘Nonsense! What do you know about it? Just wait until you're married to a man like Reardon and find yourself in complete poverty.’

‘Whoever my husband was, I would stand by him, if I starved to death.’

‘No matter who my husband was, I would stand by him, even if it meant I starved to death.’

‘If he ill-used you?’

'Did he mistreat you?'

‘I am not talking of such cases. Mrs Reardon had never anything of the kind to fear. It was impossible for a man such as her husband to behave harshly. Her conduct was cowardly, faithless, unwomanly!’

‘I’m not talking about those kinds of situations. Mrs. Reardon never had anything like that to worry about. It was impossible for a man like her husband to act harshly. Her behavior was cowardly, unfaithful, and unladylike!’

‘Trust one woman for thinking the worst of another,’ observed Jasper with something like a sneer.

“Trust one woman to think the worst of another,” Jasper remarked with a hint of a sneer.

Dora gave him a look of strong disapproval; one might have suspected that brother and sister had before this fallen into disagreement on the delicate topic. Whelpdale felt obliged to interpose, and had of course no choice but to support the girl.

Dora shot him a disapproving glance; one might have thought that brother and sister had previously disagreed on this sensitive topic. Whelpdale felt he had to step in and, of course, had no choice but to back the girl.

‘I can only say,’ he remarked with a smile, ‘that Miss Dora takes a very noble point of view. One feels that a wife ought to be staunch. But it’s so very unsafe to discuss matters in which one cannot know all the facts.’

‘I can only say,’ he said with a smile, ‘that Miss Dora has a very noble perspective. You get the sense that a wife should be supportive. But it’s really risky to talk about things when you don’t have all the facts.’

‘We know quite enough of the facts,’ said Dora, with delightful pertinacity.

"We know plenty about the facts," said Dora, with charming determination.

‘Indeed, perhaps we do,’ assented her slave. Then, turning to her brother, ‘Well, once more I congratulate you. I shall talk of your article incessantly, as soon as it appears. And I shall pester every one of my acquaintances to buy Reardon’s books—though it’s no use to him, poor fellow. Still, he would have died more contentedly if he could have foreseen this. By-the-by, Biffen will be profoundly grateful to you, I’m sure.’

‘You’re right, maybe we do,’ her servant agreed. Then, turning to her brother, ‘Well, congratulations again. I’ll talk about your article nonstop as soon as it’s out. And I’ll bug all my friends to buy Reardon’s books—even though it won’t really help him, poor guy. But he would have been much happier if he’d known this was coming. By the way, I’m sure Biffen will be very thankful to you.’

‘I’m doing what I can for him, too. Run your eye over these slips.’

‘I’m doing what I can for him, too. Take a look at these slips.’

Whelpdale exhausted himself in terms of satisfaction.

Whelpdale completely wore himself out trying to be satisfied.

‘You deserve to get on, my dear fellow. In a few years you will be the Aristarchus of our literary world.’

‘You deserve to succeed, my friend. In a few years, you'll be the Aristarchus of our literary scene.’

When the visitor rose to depart, Jasper said he would walk a short distance with him. As soon as they had left the house, the future Aristarchus made a confidential communication.

When the visitor got up to leave, Jasper said he would walk a little way with him. As soon as they were outside the house, the future Aristarchus shared something privately.

‘It may interest you to know that my sister Maud is shortly to be married.’

'You might be interested to know that my sister Maud is getting married soon.'

‘Indeed! May I ask to whom?’

‘Sure! Can I ask who it is?’

‘A man you don’t know. His name is Dolomore—a fellow in society.’

'A man you don't know. His name is Dolomore—a guy in society.'

‘Rich, then, I hope?’

'Rich, I hope?'

‘Tolerably well-to-do. I dare say he has three or four thousand a year!’

'Tolerably well-off. I bet he makes three or four thousand a year!'

‘Gracious heavens! Why, that’s magnificent.’

“Wow! That’s amazing.”

But Whelpdale did not look quite so much satisfaction as his words expressed.

But Whelpdale didn't look quite as satisfied as his words suggested.

‘Is it to be soon?’ he inquired.

"Is it going to be soon?" he asked.

‘At the end of the season. Make no difference to Dora and me, of course.’

‘At the end of the season. It doesn't matter to Dora and me, of course.’

‘Oh? Really? No difference at all? You will let me come and see you—both—just in the old way, Milvain?’

‘Oh? Really? No difference at all? You’re going to let me come and see you—both—just like before, Milvain?’

‘Why the deuce shouldn’t you?’

'Why shouldn't you?'

‘To be sure, to be sure. By Jove! I really don’t know how I should get on if I couldn’t look in of an evening now and then. I have got so much into the habit of it. And—I’m a lonely beggar, you know. I don’t go into society, and really—’

‘Sure thing, for sure. Wow! I honestly don’t know how I would manage if I couldn't drop by in the evenings every now and then. I've gotten so used to it. And—I'm a lonely guy, you know. I don't go out much, and honestly—’

He broke off, and Jasper began to speak of other things.

He stopped talking, and Jasper started discussing other topics.

When Milvain re-entered the house, Dora had gone to her own sitting-room. It was not quite ten o’clock. Taking one set of the proofs of his ‘Reardon’ article, he put it into a large envelope; then he wrote a short letter, which began ‘Dear Mrs Reardon,’ and ended ‘Very sincerely yours,’ the communication itself being as follows:

When Milvain walked back into the house, Dora had gone to her own sitting room. It was almost ten o’clock. He took one copy of the proofs of his ‘Reardon’ article and stuffed it into a large envelope. Then he wrote a brief letter that started with ‘Dear Mrs. Reardon,’ and ended with ‘Very sincerely yours,’ the message itself being as follows:

‘I venture to send you the proofs of a paper which is to appear in next month’s Wayside, in the hope that it may seem to you not badly done, and that the reading of it may give you pleasure. If anything occurs to you which you would like me to add, or if you desire any omission, will you do me the kindness to let me know of it as soon as possible, and your suggestion shall at once be adopted. I am informed that the new edition of “On Neutral Ground” and “Hubert Reed” will be ready next month. Need I say how glad I am that my friend’s work is not to be forgotten?’

“I’m sending you the proofs of a paper that will be published in next month’s Wayside, hoping you’ll find it well done and that you’ll enjoy reading it. If you have any suggestions for additions or if you’d like anything removed, please let me know as soon as possible, and I’ll make those changes right away. I’ve been told that the new edition of “On Neutral Ground” and “Hubert Reed” will be ready next month. Should I even mention how happy I am that my friend’s work won’t be forgotten?”

This note he also put into the envelope, which he made ready for posting. Then he sat for a long time in profound thought.

This note he also put into the envelope, which he prepared for mailing. Then he sat for a long time in deep thought.

Shortly after eleven his door opened, and Maud came in. She had been dining at Mrs Lane’s. Her attire was still simple, but of quality which would have signified recklessness, but for the outlook whereof Jasper spoke to Whelpdale. The girl looked very beautiful. There was a flush of health and happiness on her cheek, and when she spoke it was in a voice that rang quite differently from her tones of a year ago; the pride which was natural to her had now a firm support; she moved and uttered herself in queenly fashion.

Shortly after eleven, his door opened, and Maud walked in. She had just finished dinner at Mrs. Lane’s. Her outfit was still simple, but the quality made it seem daring, except for the perspective Jasper shared with Whelpdale. The girl looked stunning. There was a glow of health and happiness on her cheeks, and when she spoke, her voice sounded completely different from how it did a year ago; the pride that came naturally to her now had solid backing; she moved and expressed herself with a regal elegance.

‘Has anyone been?’ she asked.

"Has anyone gone?" she asked.

‘Whelpdale.’

‘Whelpdale.’

‘Oh! I wanted to ask you, Jasper: do you think it wise to let him come quite so often?’

‘Oh! I wanted to ask you, Jasper: do you think it's a good idea to let him come over this often?’

‘There’s a difficulty, you see. I can hardly tell him to sheer off. And he’s really a decent fellow.’

‘There’s a challenge, you know. I can barely tell him to go away. And he’s actually a good guy.’

‘That may be. But—I think it’s rather unwise. Things are changed. In a few months, Dora will be a good deal at my house, and will see all sorts of people.’

‘That may be. But—I think it’s kind of unwise. Things have changed. In a few months, Dora will spend a lot of time at my house and will meet all kinds of people.’

‘Yes; but what if they are the kind of people she doesn’t care anything about? You must remember, old girl, that her tastes are quite different from yours. I say nothing, but—perhaps it’s as well they should be.’

‘Yeah; but what if they’re not the kind of people she cares about at all? You have to remember, girl, that her tastes are really different from yours. I’m not saying anything, but—maybe it’s better that way.’

‘You say nothing, but you add an insult,’ returned Maud, with a smile of superb disregard. ‘We won’t reopen the question.’

‘You say nothing, but you throw in an insult,’ Maud replied, smiling with great indifference. ‘We won’t revisit the topic.’

‘Oh dear no! And, by-the-by, I have a letter from Dolomore. It came just after you left.’

‘Oh no! And by the way, I got a letter from Dolomore. It arrived right after you left.’

‘Well?’

‘So?’

‘He is quite willing to settle upon you a third of his income from the collieries; he tells me it will represent between seven and eight hundred a year. I think it rather little, you know; but I congratulate myself on having got this out of him.’

‘He’s totally fine with giving you a third of his income from the collieries; he says it’ll be around seven to eight hundred a year. I think it’s a bit low, honestly, but I’m proud of myself for getting this from him.’

‘Don’t speak in that unpleasant way! It was only your abruptness that made any kind of difficulty.’

‘Don’t talk like that! It was just your abruptness that caused any problem.’

‘I have my own opinion on that point, and I shall beg leave to keep it. Probably he will think me still more abrupt when I request, as I am now going to do, an interview with his solicitors.’

‘I have my own opinion on that, and I’d like to keep it to myself. He'll probably find me even more direct when I ask, as I’m about to do, for a meeting with his lawyers.’

‘Is that allowable?’ asked Maud, anxiously. ‘Can you do that with any decency?’

‘Is that allowed?’ Maud asked, anxiously. ‘Can you do that with any decency?’

‘If not, then I must do it with indecency. You will have the goodness to remember that if I don’t look after your interests, no one else will. It’s perhaps fortunate for you that I have a good deal of the man of business about me. Dolomore thought I was a dreamy, literary fellow. I don’t say that he isn’t entirely honest, but he shows something of a disposition to play the autocrat, and I by no means intend to let him. If you had a father, Dolomore would have to submit his affairs to examination.

‘If not, then I have to do it unprofessionally. You should remember that if I don’t take care of your interests, no one else will. It’s probably lucky for you that I have a lot of business sense. Dolomore thought I was just a dreamy, literary type. I’m not saying he’s completely dishonest, but he definitely has a tendency to act like a dictator, and I really don’t plan to let him. If you had a father, Dolomore would have to have his affairs scrutinized.’

I stand to you in loco parentis, and I shall bate no jot of my rights.’

I stand before you as a guardian, and I will not back down on my rights.

‘But you can’t say that his behaviour hasn’t been perfectly straightforward.’

‘But you can’t say that his behavior hasn’t been completely straightforward.’

‘I don’t wish to. I think, on the whole, he has behaved more honourably than was to be expected of a man of his kind. But he must treat me with respect. My position in the world is greatly superior to his. And, by the gods! I will be treated respectfully! It wouldn’t be amiss, Maud, if you just gave him a hint to that effect.’

‘I don’t want to. I think, overall, he has acted more honorably than you would expect from someone like him. But he needs to treat me with respect. My status in society is much higher than his. And, by the gods! I will be treated with respect! It wouldn’t hurt, Maud, if you just gave him a subtle hint about that.’

‘All I have to say is, Jasper, don’t do me an irreparable injury. You might, without meaning it.’

‘All I want to say is, Jasper, please don't hurt me in a way I can't recover from. You could do it without even realizing.’

‘No fear whatever of it. I can behave as a gentleman, and I only expect Dolomore to do the same.’

‘No fear at all about it. I can act like a gentleman, and I just expect Dolomore to do the same.’

Their conversation lasted for a long time, and when he was again left alone Jasper again fell into a mood of thoughtfulness.

Their conversation went on for a long time, and when he was alone again, Jasper fell back into a reflective mood.

By a late post on the following day he received this letter:

By a late message the next day, he got this letter:

‘DEAR MR MILVAIN,—I have received the proofs, and have just read them; I hasten to thank you with all my heart. No suggestion of mine could possibly improve this article; it seems to me perfect in taste, in style, in matter. No one but you could have written this, for no one else understood Edwin so well, or had given such thought to his work. If he could but have known that such justice would be done to his memory! But he died believing that already he was utterly forgotten, that his books would never again be publicly spoken of. This was a cruel fate. I have shed tears over what you have written, but they were not only tears of bitterness; it cannot but be a consolation to me to think that, when the magazine appears, so many people will talk of Edwin and his books. I am deeply grateful to Mr Mortimer for having undertaken to republish those two novels; if you have an opportunity, will you do me the great kindness to thank him on my behalf? At the same time, I must remember that it was you who first spoke to him on this subject. You say that it gladdens you to think Edwin will not be forgotten, and I am very sure that the friendly office you have so admirably performed will in itself reward you more than any poor expression of gratitude from me. I write hurriedly, anxious to let you hear as soon as possible.

‘DEAR MR. MILVAIN,—I’ve received the proofs and just read them; I want to thank you wholeheartedly. I believe nothing I suggest could improve this article; it seems perfect in taste, style, and content. No one but you could have written this, as no one else understood Edwin so well or put so much thought into his work. If only he could have known that such justice would be done to his memory! But he died thinking he was completely forgotten, that his books would never be talked about again. This was a harsh fate. I have shed tears over what you wrote, but they were not just tears of sadness; it’s comforting to think that when the magazine comes out, many people will discuss Edwin and his books. I’m very grateful to Mr. Mortimer for taking on the republishing of those two novels; if you get the chance, please do me the favor of thanking him on my behalf. At the same time, I must remember that it was you who first brought this up to him. You mention that it makes you happy to think Edwin won’t be forgotten, and I’m sure the thoughtful role you’ve played will reward you more than any simple expression of thanks from me. I’m writing quickly, eager to let you know as soon as possible.

‘Believe me, dear Mr Milvain,

"Trust me, dear Mr. Milvain,"

‘Yours sincerely,

Best regards,

‘AMY REARDON.’

‘AMY REARDON.’





CHAPTER XXXIV. A CHECK

Marian was at work as usual in the Reading-room. She did her best, during the hours spent here, to convert herself into the literary machine which it was her hope would some day be invented for construction in a less sensitive material than human tissue. Her eyes seldom strayed beyond the limits of the desk; and if she had occasion to rise and go to the reference shelves, she looked at no one on the way. Yet she herself was occasionally an object of interested regard. Several readers were acquainted with the chief facts of her position; they knew that her father was now incapable of work, and was waiting till his diseased eyes should be ready for the operator; it was surmised, moreover, that a good deal depended upon the girl’s literary exertions. Mr Quarmby and his gossips naturally took the darkest view of things; they were convinced that Alfred Yule could never recover his sight, and they had a dolorous satisfaction in relating the story of Marian’s legacy. Of her relations with Jasper Milvain none of these persons had heard; Yule had never spoken of that matter to any one of his friends.

Marian was at work as usual in the Reading Room. During the hours she spent there, she tried her best to turn herself into the literary machine she hoped would eventually be invented, made from something less sensitive than human skin. Her eyes rarely wandered beyond the desk, and if she needed to get up and head to the reference shelves, she didn’t look at anyone along the way. However, she sometimes became the focus of curious glances. Several readers knew key details about her situation; they were aware that her father could no longer work and was waiting for his problematic eyes to be ready for surgery. It was also speculated that a lot depended on the girl's writing efforts. Mr. Quarmby and his friends naturally had the worst outlook on things; they were sure that Alfred Yule would never regain his sight, and they took a grim satisfaction in sharing the story of Marian’s inheritance. None of these people were aware of her relationship with Jasper Milvain; Yule had never discussed that matter with any of his friends.

Jasper had to look in this morning for a hurried consultation of certain encyclopaedic volumes, and it chanced that Marian was standing before the shelves to which his business led him. He saw her from a little distance, and paused; it seemed as if he would turn back; for a moment he wore a look of doubt and worry. But after all he proceeded. At the sound of his ‘Good-morning,’ Marian started—she was standing with an open book in hand—and looked up with a gleam of joy on her face.

Jasper had to stop by this morning for a quick consultation of some encyclopedic volumes, and it just so happened that Marian was standing in front of the shelves he needed. He spotted her from a short distance and hesitated; it seemed like he might turn back. For a moment, he looked uncertain and troubled. But in the end, he moved forward. At the sound of his “Good morning,” Marian jumped—she was holding an open book—and looked up with a bright smile on her face.

‘I wanted to see you to-day,’ she said, subduing her voice to the tone of ordinary conversation. ‘I should have come this evening.’

‘I wanted to see you today,’ she said, lowering her voice to a normal conversational tone. ‘I should have come this evening.’

‘You wouldn’t have found me at home. From five to seven I shall be frantically busy, and then I have to rush off to dine with some people.’

‘You wouldn’t have found me at home. From five to seven, I'll be super busy, and then I have to rush off to have dinner with some people.’

‘I couldn’t see you before five?’

‘I can’t see you before five?’

‘Is it something important?’

"Is it something significant?"

‘Yes, it is.’

"Yep, it is."

‘I tell you what. If you could meet me at Gloucester Gate at four, then I shall be glad of half an hour in the park. But I mustn’t talk now; I’m driven to my wits’ end. Gloucester Gate, at four sharp. I don’t think it’ll rain.’

‘I have an idea. If you could meet me at Gloucester Gate at four, I would love to spend half an hour in the park. But I can’t talk now; I’m completely stressed out. Gloucester Gate, at four on the dot. I don’t think it’s going to rain.’

He dragged out a tome of the ‘Britannica.’ Marian nodded, and returned to her seat.

He pulled out a volume of the 'Britannica.' Marian nodded and went back to her seat.

At the appointed hour she was waiting near the entrance of Regent’s Park which Jasper had mentioned. Not long ago there had fallen a light shower, but the sky was clear again. At five minutes past four she still waited, and had begun to fear that the passing rain might have led Jasper to think she would not come. Another five minutes, and from a hansom that rattled hither at full speed, the familiar figure alighted.

At the scheduled time, she was waiting by the entrance of Regent’s Park that Jasper had mentioned. A light rain had fallen not long ago, but the sky was clear again. At five minutes past four, she was still waiting and started to worry that the recent rain might have made Jasper think she wouldn't show up. Another five minutes passed, and from a cab that came rattling up at full speed, the familiar figure got out.

‘Do forgive me!’ he exclaimed. ‘I couldn’t possibly get here before. Let us go to the right.’

‘Please forgive me!’ he exclaimed. ‘I really couldn’t get here any sooner. Let’s go to the right.’

They betook themselves to that tree-shadowed strip of the park which skirts the canal.

They made their way to that tree-shaded area of the park that runs alongside the canal.

‘I’m so afraid that you haven’t really time,’ said Marian, who was chilled and confused by this show of hurry. She regretted having made the appointment; it would have been much better to postpone what she had to say until Jasper was at leisure. Yet nowadays the hours of leisure seemed to come so rarely.

‘I’m really worried that you don’t have time,’ said Marian, who felt cold and confused by this rush. She regretted setting up the appointment; it would have been much better to wait until Jasper had some free time. But these days, free time seemed to come so rarely.

‘If I get home at five, it’ll be all right,’ he replied. ‘What have you to tell me, Marian?’

‘If I get home by five, it’ll be fine,’ he replied. ‘What do you want to tell me, Marian?’

‘We have heard about the money, at last.’

‘We finally heard about the money.’

‘Oh?’ He avoided looking at her. ‘And what’s the upshot?’

‘Oh?’ He didn’t look at her. ‘So, what’s the bottom line?’

‘I shall have nearly fifteen hundred pounds.’

‘I will have almost fifteen hundred pounds.’

‘So much as that? Well, that’s better than nothing, isn’t it?’

‘Is that all? Well, that’s better than nothing, right?’

‘Very much better.’

"Much better."

They walked on in silence. Marian stole a glance at her companion.

They walked on quietly. Marian took a quick look at her companion.

‘I should have thought it a great deal,’ she said presently, ‘before I had begun to think of thousands.’

"I should have considered it a lot," she said after a moment, "before I started thinking about thousands."

‘Fifteen hundred. Well, it means fifty pounds a year, I suppose.’

‘Fifteen hundred. Well, I guess that means fifty pounds a year.’

He chewed the end of his moustache.

He chewed on the end of his mustache.

‘Let us sit down on this bench. Fifteen hundred—h’m! And nothing more is to be hoped for?’

‘Let’s sit on this bench. Fifteen hundred—hmm! And there’s nothing else to hope for?’

‘Nothing. I should have thought men would wish to pay their debts, even after they had been bankrupt; but they tell us we can’t expect anything more from these people.’

‘Nothing. I thought men would want to pay their debts, even after going bankrupt; but they tell us we can’t expect anything more from these people.’

‘You are thinking of Walter Scott, and that kind of thing’—Jasper laughed. ‘Oh, that’s quite unbusinesslike; it would be setting a pernicious example nowadays. Well, and what’s to be done?’

‘You’re thinking of Walter Scott and stuff like that,’ Jasper laughed. ‘Oh, that’s really unprofessional; it would set a bad example these days. So, what should we do?’

Marian had no answer for such a question. The tone of it was a new stab to her heart, which had suffered so many during the past half-year.

Marian had no response to that question. The way it was asked felt like another blow to her heart, which had already endured so much pain over the past six months.

‘Now, I’ll ask you frankly,’ Jasper went on, ‘and I know you will reply in the same spirit: would it be wise for us to marry on this money?’

‘Now, I’ll ask you honestly,’ Jasper continued, ‘and I know you’ll respond in the same way: would it be smart for us to get married on this money?’

‘On this money?’

"On this cash?"

She looked into his face with painful earnestness.

She gazed intently into his face, filled with deep sincerity.

‘You mean,’ he said, ‘that it can’t be spared for that purpose?’

‘You mean,’ he said, ‘that it can’t be used for that purpose?’

What she really meant was uncertain even to herself. She had wished to hear how Jasper would receive the news, and thereby to direct her own course. Had he welcomed it as offering a possibility of their marriage, that would have gladdened her, though it would then have been necessary to show him all the difficulties by which she was beset; for some time they had not spoken of her father’s position, and Jasper seemed willing to forget all about that complication of their troubles. But marriage did not occur to him, and he was evidently quite prepared to hear that she could no longer regard this money as her own to be freely disposed of. This was on one side a relief but on the other it confirmed her fears. She would rather have heard him plead with her to neglect her parents for the sake of being his wife. Love excuses everything, and his selfishness would have been easily lost sight of in the assurance that he still desired her.

What she really meant was unclear even to herself. She had wanted to know how Jasper would react to the news, and in doing so, guide her own decisions. If he had viewed it as a chance for their marriage, that would’ve made her happy, although she would then have needed to lay out all the challenges she faced; it had been a while since they discussed her father's situation, and Jasper seemed eager to ignore that complication in their lives. But marriage didn’t cross his mind, and he was clearly ready to hear that she could no longer see this money as hers to do with as she pleased. On one hand, this was a relief, but on the other, it confirmed her worries. She would have preferred to hear him urge her to put her parents aside for the sake of becoming his wife. Love justifies everything, and his selfishness would have been easy to overlook with the reassurance that he still wanted her.

‘You say,’ she replied, with bent head, ‘that it would bring us fifty pounds a year. If another fifty were added to that, my father and mother would be supported in case the worst comes. I might earn fifty pounds.’

‘You say,’ she replied, with her head down, ‘that it would give us fifty pounds a year. If we added another fifty to that, my parents would be taken care of if things go badly. I might be able to earn fifty pounds.’

‘You wish me to understand, Marian, that I mustn’t expect that you will bring me anything when we are married.’

‘You want me to understand, Marian, that I shouldn’t expect you to bring me anything when we’re married.’

His tone was that of acquiescence; not by any means of displeasure. He spoke as if desirous of saying for her something she found a difficulty in saying for herself.

His tone conveyed agreement; it certainly didn't express any displeasure. He spoke as if he wanted to express something for her that she was having trouble saying for herself.

‘Jasper, it is so hard for me! So hard for me! How could I help remembering what you told me when I promised to be your wife?’

‘Jasper, this is really difficult for me! Really difficult! How can I forget what you said when I promised to be your wife?’

‘I spoke the truth rather brutally,’ he replied, in a kind voice. ‘Let all that be unsaid, forgotten. We are in quite a different position now. Be open with me, Marian; surely you can trust my common sense and good feeling. Put aside all thought of things I have said, and don’t be restrained by any fear lest you should seem to me unwomanly—you can’t be that. What is your own wish? What do you really wish to do, now that there is no uncertainty calling for postponements?’

“I spoke the truth pretty harshly,” he replied gently. “Let’s forget all that. We’re in a completely different situation now. Please be honest with me, Marian; you can surely trust my judgment and empathy. Put aside any thoughts of what I’ve said before, and don’t hold back for fear of appearing unladylike—you’re not that. What do you truly want? What do you actually want to do now that there’s no uncertainty to delay things?”

Marian raised her eyes, and was about to speak as she regarded him; but with the first accent her look fell.

Marian looked up and was about to say something as she looked at him; however, as soon as she opened her mouth, her gaze dropped.

‘I wish to be your wife.’

‘I want to be your wife.’

He waited, thinking and struggling with himself.

He waited, reflecting and wrestling with his thoughts.

‘Yet you feel that it would be heartless to take and use this money for our own purposes?’

‘Yet you feel that it would be cruel to take and use this money for our own purposes?’

‘What is to become of my parents, Jasper?’

‘What will happen to my parents, Jasper?’

‘But then you admit that the fifteen hundred pounds won’t support them. You talk of earning fifty pounds a year for them.’

‘But then you admit that the one thousand five hundred pounds won’t support them. You talk about earning fifty pounds a year for them.’

‘Need I cease to write, dear, if we were married? Wouldn’t you let me help them?’

‘Do I have to stop writing, dear, if we get married? Wouldn't you let me help them?’

‘But, my dear girl, you are taking for granted that we shall have enough for ourselves.’

‘But, my dear girl, you are assuming that we will have enough for ourselves.’

‘I didn’t mean at once,’ she explained hurriedly. ‘In a short time—in a year. You are getting on so well. You will soon have a sufficient income, I am sure.’

‘I didn’t mean right away,’ she said quickly. ‘In a little while—in a year. You’re doing really well. I’m sure you’ll have a good income soon.’

Jasper rose.

Jasper got up.

‘Let us walk as far as the next seat. Don’t speak. I have something to think about.’

‘Let’s walk to the next seat. Don’t say anything. I need to think.’

Moving on beside him, she slipped her hand softly within his arm; but Jasper did not put the arm into position to support hers, and her hand fell again, dropped suddenly. They reached another bench, and again became seated.

Moving beside him, she gently slipped her hand into his arm; but Jasper didn’t adjust his arm to support hers, and her hand fell again, dropping suddenly. They reached another bench and sat down once more.

‘It comes to this, Marian,’ he said, with portentous gravity. ‘Support you, I could—I have little doubt of that. Maud is provided for, and Dora can make a living for herself. I could support you and leave you free to give your parents whatever you can earn by your own work. But—’

‘Here's the deal, Marian,’ he said, seriously. ‘I could support you—I have no doubt about that. Maud is taken care of, and Dora can support herself. I could take care of you and still allow you to give your parents whatever you earn from your own work. But—’

He paused significantly. It was his wish that Marian should supply the consequence, but she did not speak.

He paused meaningfully. He hoped that Marian would provide the response, but she stayed silent.

‘Very well,’ he exclaimed. ‘Then when are we to be married?’

‘Alright,’ he said. ‘So when are we getting married?’

The tone of resignation was too marked. Jasper was not good as a comedian; he lacked subtlety.

The tone of resignation was too obvious. Jasper wasn't great as a comedian; he didn't have any finesse.

‘We must wait,’ fell from Marian’s lips, in the whisper of despair.

‘We must wait,’ slipped from Marian’s lips, in a whisper of despair.

‘Wait? But how long?’ he inquired, dispassionately.

‘Wait? But how long?’ he asked, emotionlessly.

‘Do you wish to be freed from your engagement, Jasper?’

‘Do you want to break off your engagement, Jasper?’

He was not strong enough to reply with a plain ‘Yes,’ and so have done with his perplexities. He feared the girl’s face, and he feared his own subsequent emotions.

He wasn't strong enough to just say 'Yes' and be done with his confusion. He was afraid of the girl's reaction, and he was also scared of his own feelings afterwards.

‘Don’t talk in that way, Marian. The question is simply this: Are we to wait a year, or are we to wait five years? In a year’s time, I shall probably be able to have a small house somewhere out in the suburbs. If we are married then, I shall be happy enough with so good a wife, but my career will take a different shape. I shall just throw overboard certain of my ambitions, and work steadily on at earning a livelihood. If we wait five years, I may perhaps have obtained an editorship, and in that case I should of course have all sorts of better things to offer you.’

‘Don’t talk like that, Marian. The question is simple: Are we going to wait a year or five years? In a year, I’ll probably be able to get a small place out in the suburbs. If we’re married by then, I’ll be happy with such a wonderful wife, but my career will take a different direction. I’ll have to give up some of my ambitions and focus on earning a living. If we wait five years, I might have landed an editorship, and then I’d have all sorts of better things to offer you.’

‘But, dear, why shouldn’t you get an editorship all the same if you are married?’

‘But, dear, why shouldn’t you get an editorship anyway just because you’re married?’

‘I have explained to you several times that success of that kind is not compatible with a small house in the suburbs and all the ties of a narrow income. As a bachelor, I can go about freely, make acquaintances, dine at people’s houses, perhaps entertain a useful friend now and then—and so on. It is not merit that succeeds in my line; it is merit plus opportunity. Marrying now, I cut myself off from opportunity, that’s all.’

‘I’ve told you many times that that kind of success doesn’t go with a small house in the suburbs and the constraints of a limited income. As a single guy, I can move around easily, meet new people, dine at friends' places, and maybe host a useful friend from time to time—and so on. It’s not just talent that matters in my field; it’s talent plus opportunity. If I marry now, I’m shutting myself off from those opportunities, that’s all.’

She kept silence.

She remained silent.

‘Decide my fate for me, Marian,’ he pursued, magnanimously. ‘Let us make up our minds and do what we decide to do. Indeed, it doesn’t concern me so much as yourself. Are you content to lead a simple, unambitious life? Or should you prefer your husband to be a man of some distinction?’

‘Decide my future for me, Marian,’ he continued, generously. ‘Let’s figure this out and act on our decision. Honestly, it matters more to you than to me. Are you happy with a simple, unambitious life? Or would you rather have a husband who is someone of importance?’

‘I know so well what your own wish is. But to wait for years—you will cease to love me, and will only think of me as a hindrance in your way.’

‘I know exactly what you wish for. But waiting for years—you’ll stop loving me and will only see me as an obstacle in your path.’

‘Well now, when I said five years, of course I took a round number. Three—two might make all the difference to me.’

‘Well, when I said five years, I was just using a rough estimate. Three—two could really change everything for me.’

‘Let it be just as you wish. I can bear anything rather than lose your love.’

‘Let it be exactly how you want. I can handle anything except losing your love.’

‘You feel, then, that it will decidedly be wise not to marry whilst we are still so poor?’

‘So, you think it would definitely be smart not to get married while we’re still broke?’

‘Yes; whatever you are convinced of is right.’

‘Yes; whatever you believe is true.’

He again rose, and looked at his watch.

He stood up again and checked his watch.

‘Jasper, you don’t think that I have behaved selfishly in wishing to let my father have the money?’

‘Jasper, you don’t think I’ve been selfish for wanting to give my dad the money, do you?’

‘I should have been greatly surprised if you hadn’t wished it. I certainly can’t imagine you saying: “Oh, let them do as best they can!” That would have been selfish with a vengeance.’

"I would have been really surprised if you hadn't wanted it. I really can't picture you saying, 'Oh, let them do whatever they can!' That would have been incredibly selfish."

‘Now you are speaking kindly! Must you go, Jasper?’

‘Now you're being nice! Do you have to go, Jasper?’

‘I must indeed. Two hours’ work I am bound to get before seven o’clock.’

‘I really must. I have to get two hours of work done before seven o’clock.’

‘And I have been making it harder for you, by disturbing your mind.’

‘And I've been making it harder for you by upsetting your mind.’

‘No, no; it’s all right now. I shall go at it with all the more energy, now we have come to a decision.’

‘No, no; it’s all good now. I’ll tackle it with even more energy, now that we’ve made a decision.’

‘Dora has asked me to go to Kew on Sunday. Shall you be able to come, dear?’

‘Dora asked me to go to Kew on Sunday. Are you able to come, dear?’

‘By Jove, no! I have three engagements on Sunday afternoon. I’ll try and keep the Sunday after; I will indeed.’

‘No way! I have three plans on Sunday afternoon. I’ll try to keep the Sunday after; I really will.’

‘What are the engagements?’ she asked timidly.

‘What are the engagements?’ she asked shyly.

As they walked back towards Gloucester Gate, he answered her question, showing how unpardonable it would be to neglect the people concerned. Then they parted, Jasper going off at a smart pace homewards.

As they walked back to Gloucester Gate, he answered her question, explaining how unacceptable it would be to neglect the people involved. Then they said goodbye, with Jasper heading off quickly towards home.

Marian turned down Park Street, and proceeded for some distance along Camden Road. The house in which she and her parents now lived was not quite so far away as St Paul’s Crescent; they rented four rooms, one of which had to serve both as Alfred Yule’s sitting-room and for the gatherings of the family at meals. Mrs Yule generally sat in the kitchen, and Marian used her bedroom as a study. About half the collection of books had been sold; those that remained were still a respectable library, almost covering the walls of the room where their disconsolate possessor passed his mournful days.

Marian turned down Park Street and walked for a while along Camden Road. The house where she and her parents currently lived wasn’t as far away as St Paul’s Crescent; they rented four rooms, one of which had to serve as both Alfred Yule’s living room and the family’s dining space. Mrs. Yule usually sat in the kitchen, while Marian used her bedroom as an office. About half of the book collection had been sold; the remaining books still made a respectable library, almost filling the walls of the room where their unhappy owner spent his lonely days.

He could read for a few hours a day, but only large type, and fear of consequences kept him well within the limit of such indulgence laid down by his advisers. Though he inwardly spoke as if his case were hopeless, Yule was very far from having resigned himself to this conviction; indeed, the prospect of spending his latter years in darkness and idleness was too dreadful to him to be accepted so long as a glimmer of hope remained. He saw no reason why the customary operation should not restore him to his old pursuits, and he would have borne it ill if his wife or daughter had ever ceased to oppose the despair which it pleased him to affect.

He could read for a few hours a day, but only in large print, and his fear of the consequences kept him well within the limits set by his advisers. Even though he spoke inwardly as if his situation were hopeless, Yule was far from accepting that belief; in fact, the idea of spending his later years in darkness and inactivity was too terrifying for him to accept as long as there was still a glimmer of hope. He saw no reason why the usual procedure couldn't bring him back to his old interests, and he would have felt upset if his wife or daughter ever stopped fighting against the despair he pretended to feel.

On the whole, he was noticeably patient. At the time of their removal to these lodgings, seeing that Marian prepared herself to share the change as a matter of course, he let her do as she would without comment; nor had he since spoken to her on the subject which had proved so dangerous. Confidence between them there was none; Yule addressed his daughter in a grave, cold, civil tone, and Marian replied gently, but without tenderness. For Mrs Yule the disaster to the family was distinctly a gain; she could not but mourn her husband’s affliction, yet he no longer visited her with the fury or contemptuous impatience of former days. Doubtless the fact of needing so much tendance had its softening influence on the man; he could not turn brutally upon his wife when every hour of the day afforded him some proof of her absolute devotion. Of course his open-air exercise was still unhindered, and in this season of the returning sun he walked a great deal, decidedly to the advantage of his general health—which again must have been a source of benefit to his temper. Of evenings, Marian sometimes read to him. He never requested this, but he did not reject the kindness.

Overall, he was quite patient. When they moved into these lodgings and saw that Marian was ready to adjust to the change as if it were normal, he allowed her to do what she wanted without saying anything. Since then, he hadn't brought up the topic that had caused so much trouble. There was no trust between them; Yule spoke to his daughter in a serious, distant, polite manner, and Marian responded softly, but without any warmth. For Mrs. Yule, the family's troubles were somehow beneficial; she couldn't help but grieve for her husband's condition, but he no longer treated her with the anger or disdain of previous times. Surely, the fact that he required so much care had a softening effect on him; he couldn't act harshly toward her when every moment reminded him of her complete devotion. Naturally, his outdoor exercise was still unimpeded, and during this time of returning sunshine, he walked a lot, which definitely helped his overall health—and likely improved his mood as well. In the evenings, Marian would sometimes read to him. He never asked for this, but he didn’t refuse her kindness.

This afternoon Marian found her father examining a volume of prints which had been lent him by Mr Quarmby. The table was laid for dinner (owing to Marian’s frequent absence at the Museum, no change had been made in the order of meals), and Yule sat by the window, his book propped on a second chair. A whiteness in his eyes showed how the disease was progressing, but his face had a more wholesome colour than a year ago.

This afternoon, Marian found her father looking over a book of prints that Mr. Quarmby had lent him. The table was set for dinner (since Marian often worked late at the Museum, there hadn’t been any changes to the meal schedule), and Yule was sitting by the window, his book propped up on a second chair. A paleness in his eyes indicated how the illness was advancing, but his face had a healthier color than it did a year ago.

‘Mr Hinks and Mr Gorbutt inquired very kindly after you to-day,’ said the girl, as she seated herself.

‘Mr. Hinks and Mr. Gorbutt asked about you very kindly today,’ said the girl as she sat down.

‘Oh, is Hinks out again?’

"Is Hinks out again?"

‘Yes, but he looks very ill.’

‘Yes, but he looks really sick.’

They conversed of such matters until Mrs Yule—now her own servant—brought in the dinner. After the meal, Marian was in her bedroom for about an hour; then she went to her father, who sat in idleness, smoking.

They talked about those things until Mrs. Yule—now her own servant—brought in dinner. After the meal, Marian spent about an hour in her bedroom; then she went to her father, who was idly sitting and smoking.

‘What is your mother doing?’ he asked, as she entered.

‘What’s your mom doing?’ he asked as she walked in.

‘Some needlework.’

‘Some sewing.’

‘I had perhaps better say’—he spoke rather stiffly, and with averted face—‘that I make no exclusive claim to the use of this room. As I can no longer pretend to study, it would be idle to keep up the show of privacy that mustn’t be disturbed. Perhaps you will mention to your mother that she is quite at liberty to sit here whenever she chooses.’

‘I should probably mention’—he spoke somewhat formally, with his face turned away—‘that I don’t lay exclusive claim to the use of this room. Since I can no longer pretend to study, it would be pointless to maintain the illusion of privacy that shouldn’t be interrupted. Please let your mother know that she is completely free to use this space whenever she wants.’

It was characteristic of him that he should wish to deliver this permission by proxy. But Marian understood how much was implied in such an announcement.

It was typical of him to want to relay this permission through someone else. But Marian recognized how much was meant by such an announcement.

‘I will tell mother,’ she said. ‘But at this moment I wished to speak to you privately. How would you advise me to invest my money?’

‘I will tell mom,’ she said. ‘But right now, I wanted to talk to you privately. How would you suggest I invest my money?’

Yule looked surprised, and answered with cold dignity.

Yule looked surprised and responded with icy dignity.

‘It is strange that you should put such a question to me. I should have supposed your interests were in the hands of—of some competent person.’

‘It's odd that you would ask me something like that. I would have thought your interests were being taken care of by someone capable.’

‘This will be my private affair, father. I wish to get as high a rate of interest as I safely can.’

‘This will be my private matter, Dad. I want to get the highest interest rate I can without taking too much risk.’

‘I really must decline to advise, or interfere in any way. But, as you have introduced this subject, I may as well put a question which is connected with it. Could you give me any idea as to how long you are likely to remain with us?’

‘I really have to decline to give advice or get involved in any way. But since you've brought up this topic, I might as well ask a question that's related to it. Can you give me any idea of how long you plan to stay with us?’

‘At least a year,’ was the answer, ‘and very likely much longer.’

“At least a year,” was the answer, “and probably much longer.”

‘Am I to understand, then, that your marriage is indefinitely postponed?’

‘So, am I to take it that your marriage is put off indefinitely?’

‘Yes, father.’

"Sure, Dad."

‘And will you tell me why?’

‘And can you tell me why?’

‘I can only say that it has seemed better—to both of us.’

‘I can only say that it has seemed better—to both of us.’

Yule detected the sorrowful emotion she was endeavouring to suppress. His conception of Milvain’s character made it easy for him to form a just surmise as to the reasons for this postponement; he was gratified to think that Marian might learn how rightly he had judged her wooer, and an involuntary pity for the girl did not prevent his hoping that the detestable alliance was doomed. With difficulty he refrained from smiling.

Yule noticed the sad feeling she was trying to hide. His understanding of Milvain’s character made it easy for him to guess why this delay was happening; he was pleased to think that Marian might realize how accurately he had assessed her suitor, and his unintentional sympathy for the girl didn’t stop him from hoping that the awful relationship would fail. He struggled to keep from smiling.

‘I will make no comment on that,’ he remarked, with a certain emphasis. ‘But do you imply that this investment of which you speak is to be solely for your own advantage?’

‘I won’t make any comments on that,’ he said, with a certain emphasis. ‘But are you suggesting that this investment you’re talking about is just for your own benefit?’

‘For mine, and for yours and mother’s.’

‘For me, and for you and mom’s.’

There was a silence of a minute or two. As yet it had not been necessary to take any steps for raising money, but a few months more would see the family without resources, save those provided by Marian, who, without discussion, had been simply setting aside what she received for her work.

There was a silence that lasted a minute or two. So far, it hadn't been necessary to take any steps to raise money, but in a few months, the family would be out of resources, except for what Marian provided, who, without any discussion, had been quietly saving what she earned from her job.

‘You must be well aware,’ said Yule at length, ‘that I cannot consent to benefit by any such offer. When it is necessary, I shall borrow on the security of—’

‘You must know,’ Yule finally said, ‘that I can’t agree to gain from any offer like that. When it’s necessary, I’ll borrow against the security of—’

‘Why should you do that, father?’ Marian interrupted. ‘My money is yours. If you refuse it as a gift, then why may not I lend to you as well as a stranger? Repay me when your eyes are restored. For the present, all our anxieties are at an end. We can live very well until you are able to write again.’

‘Why should you do that, Dad?’ Marian cut in. ‘My money is yours. If you won’t take it as a gift, then why can’t I lend it to you like a stranger would? Just pay me back when your eyesight is better. For now, all our worries are over. We can manage just fine until you’re able to write again.’

For his sake she put it in his way. Supposing him never able to earn anything, then indeed would come a time of hardship; but she could not contemplate that. The worst would only befall them in case she was forsaken by Jasper, and if that happened all else would be of little account.

For his sake, she made sure it was in his path. Assuming he would never be able to earn anything, there would surely be tough times ahead; but she couldn’t think about that. The worst would only happen if Jasper left her, and if that did occur, everything else wouldn’t matter much.

‘This has come upon me as a surprise,’ said Yule, in his most reserved tone. ‘I can give no definite reply; I must think of it.’

‘This has taken me by surprise,’ said Yule, in his most reserved tone. ‘I can’t give a definite answer; I need to think about it.’

‘Should you like me to ask mother to bring her sewing here now?’ asked Marian, rising.

‘Do you want me to ask mom to bring her sewing here now?’ Marian asked, getting up.

‘Yes, you may do so.’

"Yes, you can do that."

In this way the awkwardness of the situation was overcome, and when Marian next had occasion to speak of money matters no serious objection was offered to her proposal.

In this way, the awkwardness of the situation was resolved, and when Marian next had to discuss financial matters, no serious objections were raised against her proposal.

Dora Milvain of course learnt what had come to pass; to anticipate criticism, her brother imparted to her the decision at which Marian and he had arrived. She reflected with an air of discontent.

Dora Milvain, of course, found out what had happened; to head off any criticism, her brother shared with her the decision that he and Marian had made. She thought about it with a look of dissatisfaction.

‘So you are quite satisfied,’ was her question at length, ‘that Marian should toil to support her parents as well as herself?’

‘So you're completely okay with Marian working hard to support her parents along with herself?’

‘Can I help it?’

"Can I do anything?"

‘I shall think very ill of you if you don’t marry her in a year at latest.’

‘I’ll think very poorly of you if you don’t marry her within a year at most.’

‘I tell you, Marian has made a deliberate choice. She understands me perfectly, and is quite satisfied with my projects. You will have the kindness, Dora, not to disturb her faith in me.’

‘I tell you, Marian has made a conscious choice. She understands me completely and is genuinely supportive of my plans. You will be kind enough, Dora, not to undermine her trust in me.’

‘I agree to that; and in return I shall let you know when she begins to suffer from hunger. It won’t be very long till then, you may be sure. How do you suppose three people are going to live on a hundred a year? And it’s very doubtful indeed whether Marian can earn as much as fifty pounds. Never mind; I shall let you know when she is beginning to starve, and doubtless that will amuse you.’

‘I agree to that; and in return, I’ll let you know when she starts to suffer from hunger. It won’t be long until that happens, you can be sure of it. How do you think three people are going to live on a hundred a year? And it's really questionable whether Marian can earn even fifty pounds. Never mind; I’ll keep you posted when she starts to starve, and I’m sure that will entertain you.’

At the end of July Maud was married. Between Mr Dolomore and Jasper existed no superfluous kindness, each resenting the other’s self-sufficiency; but Jasper, when once satisfied of his proposed brother-in-law’s straightforwardness, was careful not to give offence to a man who might some day serve him. Provided this marriage resulted in moderate happiness to Maud, it was undoubtedly a magnificent stroke of luck. Mrs Lane, the lady who has so often been casually mentioned, took upon herself those offices in connection with the ceremony which the bride’s mother is wont to perform; at her house was held the wedding-breakfast, and such other absurdities of usage as recommend themselves to Society. Dora of course played the part of a bridesmaid, and Jasper went through his duties with the suave seriousness of a man who has convinced himself that he cannot afford to despise anything that the world sanctions.

At the end of July, Maud got married. Mr. Dolomore and Jasper didn't have any unnecessary friendliness between them; each resented the other's independence. However, once Jasper was sure that his soon-to-be brother-in-law was straightforward, he was careful not to offend a man who might be useful to him in the future. As long as this marriage brought Maud some happiness, it was definitely a lucky break. Mrs. Lane, the lady who has been mentioned frequently, took on the tasks related to the ceremony that the bride's mother usually handles; the wedding breakfast and other societal customs took place at her home. Of course, Dora played the role of bridesmaid, and Jasper carried out his responsibilities with the polite seriousness of someone who has convinced himself that he can’t afford to dismiss anything that society approves.

About the same time occurred another event which was to have more importance for this aspiring little family than could as yet be foreseen. Whelpdale’s noteworthy idea triumphed; the weekly paper called Chat was thoroughly transformed, and appeared as Chit-Chat. From the first number, the success of the enterprise was beyond doubt; in a month’s time all England was ringing with the fame of this noble new development of journalism; the proprietor saw his way to a solid fortune, and other men who had money to embark began to scheme imitative publications. It was clear that the quarter-educated would soon be abundantly provided with literature to their taste.

Around the same time, another event happened that would become more significant for this ambitious little family than they could have imagined. Whelpdale’s remarkable idea succeeded; the weekly paper called Chat was completely revamped and relaunched as Chit-Chat. From the very first issue, the success of the endeavor was undeniable; within a month, all of England was buzzing about this impressive new direction in journalism. The owner saw a path to solid wealth, and other investors started planning similar publications. It was obvious that those with a basic education would soon have plenty of literature to enjoy.

Whelpdale’s exultation was unbounded, but in the fifth week of the life of Chit-Chat something happened which threatened to overturn his sober reason. Jasper was walking along the Strand one afternoon, when he saw his ingenious friend approaching him in a manner scarcely to be accounted for, unless Whelpdale’s abstemiousness had for once given way before convivial invitation. The young man’s hat was on the back of his head, and his coat flew wildly as he rushed forwards with perspiring face and glaring eyes. He would have passed without observing Jasper, had not the latter called to him; then he turned round, laughed insanely, grasped his acquaintance by the wrists, and drew him aside into a court.

Whelpdale was over the moon, but in the fifth week of Chit-Chat's existence, something happened that almost drove him crazy. One afternoon, Jasper was walking along the Strand when he saw his clever friend coming towards him in a way that was hard to explain, unless Whelpdale's usual self-control had finally been broken by a social invitation. The young man's hat was tilted back on his head, and his coat flapped wildly as he rushed forward, his face sweaty and eyes wide. He would have walked by without noticing Jasper if Jasper hadn't called out to him; then he turned, laughed wildly, grabbed Jasper by the wrists, and pulled him into a side street.

‘What do you think?’ he panted. ‘What do you think has happened?’

"What do you think?" he breathed heavily. "What do you think has happened?"

‘Not what one would suppose, I hope. You seem to have gone mad.’

‘Not what you would think, I hope. You seem to have lost your mind.’

‘I’ve got Lake’s place on Chit-Chat!’ cried the other hoarsely. ‘Two hundred and fifty a year! Lake and the editor quarrelled—pummelled each other—neither know nor care what it was about. My fortune’s made!’

‘I’ve got Lake’s place on Chit-Chat!’ the other shouted hoarsely. ‘Two hundred and fifty a year! Lake and the editor fought—beat each other up—neither knows nor cares what it was about. I’m set for life!’

‘You’re a modest man,’ remarked Jasper, smiling.

‘You’re a humble guy,’ Jasper said with a smile.

‘Certainly I am. I have always admitted it. But remember that there’s my connection with Fleet as well; no need to give that up. Presently I shall be making a clear six hundred, my dear sir!

'Of course I am. I've always acknowledged it. But keep in mind that I have my ties to Fleet too; there's no need to let that go. Right now, I'll be earning a solid six hundred, my dear sir!'

A clear six hundred, if a penny!’

A solid six hundred, right down to the last penny!

‘Satisfactory, so far.’

"Good, so far."

‘But you must remember that I’m not a big gun, like you! Why, my dear Milvain, a year ago I should have thought an income of two hundred a glorious competence. I don’t aim at such things as are fit for you. You won’t be content till you have thousands; of course I know that. But I’m a humble fellow. Yet no; by Jingo, I’m not! In one way I’m not—I must confess it.’

‘But you have to remember that I’m not as important as you! Honestly, my dear Milvain, a year ago I would have thought an income of two hundred was an amazing achievement. I don’t aim for the kinds of things that are right for you. You won’t be satisfied until you have thousands; I know that for sure. But I’m just a regular guy. Yet no; by Jingo, I’m not! In one way I’m not—I have to admit it.’

‘In what instance are you arrogant?’

‘In what situation are you being arrogant?’

‘I can’t tell you—not yet; this is neither time nor place. I say, when will you dine with me? I shall give a dinner to half a dozen of my acquaintances somewhere or other. Poor old Biffen must come. When can you dine?’

‘I can’t tell you—not yet; this isn't the right time or place. I say, when will you have dinner with me? I’ll host a dinner for a few of my friends somewhere. Poor old Biffen has to come. When can you do it?’

‘Give me a week’s notice, and I’ll fit it in.’

‘Give me a week's notice, and I'll make it work.’

That dinner came duly off. On the day that followed, Jasper and Dora left town for their holiday; they went to the Channel Islands, and spent more than half of the three weeks they had allowed themselves in Sark. Passing over from Guernsey to that island, they were amused to see a copy of Chit-Chat in the hands of an obese and well-dressed man.

That dinner happened as planned. The next day, Jasper and Dora left town for their vacation; they headed to the Channel Islands and spent over half of the three weeks they had set for themselves in Sark. When they traveled from Guernsey to that island, they found it funny to see a copy of Chit-Chat in the hands of a hefty, well-dressed man.

‘Is he one of the quarter-educated?’ asked Dora, laughing.

‘Is he one of the partially educated?’ asked Dora, laughing.

‘Not in Whelpdale’s sense of the word. But, strictly speaking, no doubt he is. The quarter-educated constitute a very large class indeed; how large, the huge success of that paper is demonstrating. I’ll write to Whelpdale, and let him know that his benefaction has extended even to Sark.’

‘Not in Whelpdale’s sense of the word. But, strictly speaking, no doubt he is. The quarter-educated make up a very large group indeed; just how large is being proven by the massive success of that paper. I’ll write to Whelpdale and let him know that his charity has even reached Sark.’

This letter was written, and in a few days there came a reply.

This letter was written, and a few days later, a reply arrived.

‘Why, the fellow has written to you as well!’ exclaimed Jasper, taking up a second letter; both were on the table of their sitting-room when they came to their lodgings for lunch. ‘That’s his hand.’

‘Wow, the guy has written to you too!’ exclaimed Jasper, picking up a second letter; both were on the table in their living room when they got back to their place for lunch. ‘That’s his handwriting.’

‘It looks like it.’

Looks like it.

Dora hummed an air as she regarded the envelope, then she took it away with her to her room upstairs.

Dora hummed a tune as she looked at the envelope, then she took it with her to her room upstairs.

‘What had he to say?’ Jasper inquired, when she came down again and seated herself at the table.

‘What did he have to say?’ Jasper asked when she came down again and sat at the table.

‘Oh, a friendly letter. What does he say to you?’

‘Oh, a nice letter. What does he say to you?’

Dora had never looked so animated and fresh of colour since leaving London; her brother remarked this, and was glad to think that the air of the Channel should be doing her so much good. He read Whelpdale’s letter aloud; it was facetious, but oddly respectful.

Dora had never looked so lively and vibrant since leaving London; her brother noticed this and was pleased to think that the sea air was doing her so much good. He read Whelpdale’s letter aloud; it was humorous, but strangely respectful.

‘The reverence that fellow has for me is astonishing,’ he observed with a laugh. ‘The queer thing is, it increases the better he knows me.’

‘The respect that guy has for me is amazing,’ he said with a laugh. ‘The strange thing is, it grows the better he knows me.’

Dora laughed for five minutes.

Dora laughed for 5 minutes.

‘Oh, what a splendid epigram!’ she exclaimed. ‘It is indeed a queer thing, Jasper! Did you mean that to be a good joke, or was it better still by coming out unintentionally?’

‘Oh, what a great line!’ she exclaimed. ‘It’s really such a strange thing, Jasper! Did you intend it to be a good joke, or did it end up being even funnier by accident?’

‘You are in remarkable spirits, old girl. By-the-by, would you mind letting me see that letter of yours?’

‘You seem really happy, old girl. By the way, would you mind showing me that letter of yours?’

He held out his hand.

He extended his hand.

‘I left it upstairs,’ Dora replied carelessly.

‘I left it upstairs,’ Dora said casually.

‘Rather presumptuous in him, it seems to me.’

'That seems pretty presumptuous of him, if you ask me.'

‘Oh, he writes quite as respectfully to me as he does to you,’ she returned, with a peculiar smile.

‘Oh, he writes to me just as respectfully as he does to you,’ she replied, with a strange smile.

‘But what business has he to write at all? It’s confounded impertinence, now I come to think of it. I shall give him a hint to remember his position.’

‘But what right does he have to write at all? It’s outright arrogance, now that I think about it. I should drop him a hint to keep in mind his place.’

Dora could not be quite sure whether he spoke seriously or not. As both of them had begun to eat with an excellent appetite, a few moments were allowed to pass before the girl again spoke.

Dora couldn't tell if he was serious or not. Since they both started eating with a great appetite, they let a few moments go by before the girl spoke again.

‘His position is as good as ours,’ she said at length.

“His position is just as good as ours,” she said after a moment.

‘As good as ours? The “sub.” of a paltry rag like Chit-Chat, and assistant to a literary agency!’

‘As good as ours? The “sub.” of a pathetic magazine like Chit-Chat, and assistant to a literary agency!’

‘He makes considerably more money than we do.’

‘He earns a lot more than we do.’

‘Money! What’s money?’

"Money! What's money?"

Dora was again mirthful.

Dora was happy again.

‘Oh, of course money is nothing! We write for honour and glory. Don’t forget to insist on that when you reprove Mr Whelpdale; no doubt it will impress him.’

‘Oh, of course money means nothing! We write for honor and glory. Don’t forget to emphasize that when you talk to Mr. Whelpdale; it will definitely make an impression on him.’

Late in the evening of that day, when the brother and sister had strolled by moonlight up to the windmill which occupies the highest point of Sark, and as they stood looking upon the pale expanse of sea, dotted with the gleam of light-houses near and far, Dora broke the silence to say quietly:

Late in the evening of that day, when the brother and sister had walked by moonlight up to the windmill that sits at the highest point of Sark, and as they stood looking out at the pale sea, dotted with the glow of lighthouses near and far, Dora broke the silence to say quietly:

‘I may as well tell you that Mr Whelpdale wants to know if I will marry him.’

‘I might as well tell you that Mr. Whelpdale wants to know if I will marry him.’

‘The deuce he does!’ cried Jasper, with a start. ‘If I didn’t half suspect something of that kind! What astounding impudence!’

‘No way!’ exclaimed Jasper, startled. ‘I had a feeling something like that was going on! What amazing boldness!’

‘You seriously think so?’

"Do you really think that?"

‘Well, don’t you? You hardly know him, to begin with. And then—oh, confound it!’

‘Well, don’t you? You barely know him, to start with. And then—oh, damn it!’

‘Very well, I’ll tell him that his impudence astonishes me.’

‘Alright, I’ll let him know that his boldness surprises me.’

‘You will?’

"Are you?"

‘Certainly. Of course in civil terms. But don’t let this make any difference between you and him. Just pretend to know nothing about it; no harm is done.’

'Certainly. Of course, in civil terms. But don’t let this create any distance between you and him. Just act like you don’t know anything about it; no harm done.'

‘You are speaking in earnest?’

"Are you serious?"

‘Quite. He has written in a very proper way, and there’s no reason whatever to disturb our friendliness with him. I have a right to give directions in a matter like this, and you’ll please to obey them.’

‘Absolutely. He has written in a very proper way, and there’s no reason at all to disrupt our friendly relationship with him. I have the right to give instructions in a matter like this, and you will please follow them.’

Before going to bed Dora wrote a letter to Mr Whelpdale, not, indeed, accepting his offer forthwith, but conveying to him with much gracefulness an unmistakable encouragement to persevere. This was posted on the morrow, and its writer continued to benefit most remarkably by the sun and breezes and rock-scrambling of Sark.

Before going to bed, Dora wrote a letter to Mr. Whelpdale. While she didn't immediately accept his offer, she gracefully encouraged him to keep trying. She mailed it the next day, and the writer continued to enjoy the sun, breezes, and rock climbing of Sark.

Soon after their return to London, Dora had the satisfaction of paying the first visit to her sister at the Dolomores’ house in Ovington Square. Maud was established in the midst of luxuries, and talked with laughing scorn of the days when she inhabited Grub Street; her literary tastes were henceforth to serve as merely a note of distinction, an added grace which made evident her superiority to the well-attired and smooth-tongued people among whom she was content to shine. On the one hand, she had contact with the world of fashionable literature, on the other with that of fashionable ignorance. Mrs Lane’s house was a meeting-point of the two spheres.

Soon after they got back to London, Dora was excited to be the first to visit her sister at the Dolomores’ place in Ovington Square. Maud was living in luxury and talked with a playful disdain about the days she spent in Grub Street; from now on, her literary interests were just a distinguishing trait, an extra elegance that highlighted her superiority over the well-dressed and smooth-talking people she was happy to be around. On one hand, she was connected to the world of trendy literature, and on the other, she mingled with the world of trendy ignorance. Mrs. Lane’s home was a crossroads for both worlds.

‘I shan’t be there very often,’ remarked Jasper, as Dora and he discussed their sister’s magnificence. ‘That’s all very well in its way, but I aim at something higher.’

‘I won’t be there very often,’ said Jasper, as he and Dora talked about their sister’s greatness. ‘That’s fine in its own way, but I’m aiming for something bigger.’

‘So do I,’ Dora replied.

“Me too,” Dora replied.

‘I’m very glad to hear that. I confess it seemed to me that you were rather too cordial with Whelpdale yesterday.’

‘I’m really glad to hear that. I have to admit, it seemed to me that you were a bit too friendly with Whelpdale yesterday.’

‘One must behave civilly. Mr Whelpdale quite understands me.’

‘One must act politely. Mr. Whelpdale completely gets me.’

‘You are sure of that? He didn’t seem quite so gloomy as he ought to have been.’

‘Are you sure about that? He didn’t seem as gloomy as he should have been.’

‘The success of Chit-Chat keeps him in good spirits.’

'Chit-Chat's success keeps him in a good mood.'

It was perhaps a week after this that Mrs Dolomore came quite unexpectedly to the house by Regent’s Park, as early as eleven o’clock in the morning. She had a long talk in private with Dora. Jasper was not at home; when he returned towards evening, Dora came to his room with a countenance which disconcerted him.

It was maybe a week later when Mrs. Dolomore showed up unexpectedly at the house by Regent’s Park, around eleven o’clock in the morning. She had a long private conversation with Dora. Jasper wasn’t home; when he came back later that evening, Dora entered his room with an expression that threw him off.

‘Is it true,’ she asked abruptly, standing before him with her hands strained together, ‘that you have been representing yourself as no longer engaged to Marian?’

‘Is it true,’ she asked bluntly, standing in front of him with her hands clenched together, ‘that you’ve been saying you’re no longer engaged to Marian?’

‘Who has told you so?’

"Who told you that?"

‘That doesn’t matter. I have heard it, and I want to know from you that it is false.’

'That doesn’t matter. I’ve heard it, and I want you to tell me that it’s not true.'

Jasper thrust his hands into his pockets and walked apart.

Jasper shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away.

‘I can take no notice,’ he said with indifference, ‘of anonymous gossip.’

"I can't pay attention," he said without caring, "to gossip from unknown sources."

‘Well, then, I will tell you how I have heard. Maud came this morning, and told me that Mrs Betterton had been asking her about it. Mrs Betterton had heard from Mrs Lane.’

‘Well, then, I will tell you how I found out. Maud came this morning and told me that Mrs. Betterton had been asking her about it. Mrs. Betterton had heard from Mrs. Lane.’

‘From Mrs Lane? And from whom did she hear, pray?’

‘From Mrs. Lane? And who did she hear that from, may I ask?’

‘That I don’t know. Is it true or not?’

‘I don’t know. Is it true or not?’

‘I have never told anyone that my engagement was at an end,’ replied Jasper, deliberately.

‘I’ve never told anyone that my engagement is over,’ replied Jasper, purposefully.

The girl met his eyes.

The girl locked eyes with him.

‘Then I was right,’ she said. ‘Of course I told Maud that it was impossible to believe this for a moment. But how has it come to be said?’

‘Then I was right,’ she said. ‘Of course I told Maud that it was impossible to believe this for a second. But how did this rumor start?’

‘You might as well ask me how any lie gets into circulation among people of that sort. I have told you the truth, and there’s an end of it.’

‘You might as well ask me how any lie spreads among people like that. I’ve told you the truth, and that’s all there is to it.’

Dora lingered for a while, but left the room without saying anything more.

Dora stayed for a bit but left the room without saying anything else.

She sat up late, mostly engaged in thinking, though at times an open book was in her hand. It was nearly half-past twelve when a very light rap at the door caused her to start. She called, and Jasper came in.

She sat up late, mostly lost in thought, though sometimes she held an open book in her hand. It was almost 12:30 when a light knock at the door startled her. She called out, and Jasper came in.

‘Why are you still up?’ he asked, avoiding her look as he moved forward and took a leaning attitude behind an easy-chair.

‘Why are you still up?’ he asked, avoiding her gaze as he stepped forward and leaned against the back of an easy chair.

‘Oh, I don’t know. Do you want anything?’

‘Oh, I’m not sure. Do you want anything?’

There was a pause; then Jasper said in an unsteady voice:

There was a pause; then Jasper said in a shaky voice:

‘I am not given to lying, Dora, and I feel confoundedly uncomfortable about what I said to you early this evening. I didn’t lie in the ordinary sense; it’s true enough that I have never told anyone that my engagement was at an end. But I have acted as if it were, and it’s better I should tell you.’

‘I’m not one to lie, Dora, and I feel really uncomfortable about what I said to you earlier this evening. I didn’t lie in the usual way; it’s true that I’ve never told anyone that my engagement is over. But I’ve been acting like it is, and I think it’s better if I just tell you.’

His sister gazed at him with indignation.

His sister looked at him with annoyance.

‘You have acted as if you were free?’

‘You've acted like you were free?’

‘Yes. I have proposed to Miss Rupert. How Mrs Lane and that lot have come to know anything about this I don’t understand. I am not aware of any connecting link between them and the Ruperts, or the Barlows either. Perhaps there are none; most likely the rumour has no foundation in their knowledge. Still, it is better that I should have told you. Miss Rupert has never heard that I was engaged, nor have her friends the Barlows—at least I don’t see how they could have done. She may have told Mrs Barlow of my proposal—probably would; and this may somehow have got round to those other people. But Maud didn’t make any mention of Miss Rupert, did she?’

‘Yes. I asked Miss Rupert to marry me. I have no idea how Mrs. Lane and her crowd found out about it. I don’t see any connection between them and the Ruperts, or the Barlows for that matter. Maybe there’s none; it’s likely the rumor has no basis in their knowledge. Still, it’s better that I told you. Miss Rupert hasn’t heard that I’m engaged, nor have her friends the Barlows—at least I don’t see how they could have known. She might have mentioned my proposal to Mrs. Barlow—she probably would; and that could have somehow made its way to those other people. But Maud didn’t mention Miss Rupert, did she?’

Dora replied with a cold negative.

Dora responded with a firm no.

‘Well, there’s the state of things. It isn’t pleasant, but that’s what I have done.’

‘Well, that’s how things are. It’s not great, but that’s what I’ve done.’

‘Do you mean that Miss Rupert has accepted you?’

‘Are you saying that Miss Rupert has accepted you?’

‘No. I wrote to her. She answered that she was going to Germany for a few weeks, and that I should have her reply whilst she was away. I am waiting.’

‘No. I wrote to her. She replied that she was going to Germany for a few weeks and that I should get her response while she was away. I’m waiting.’

‘But what name is to be given to behaviour such as this?’

‘But what do we call behavior like this?’

‘Listen: didn’t you know perfectly well that this must be the end of it?’

‘Listen: didn’t you know fully well that this has to be the end of it?’

‘Do you suppose I thought you utterly shameless and cruel beyond words?’

‘Do you really think I believed you were completely shameless and incredibly cruel?’

‘I suppose I am both. It was a moment of desperate temptation, though. I had dined at the Ruperts’—you remember—and it seemed to me there was no mistaking the girl’s manner.’

‘I guess I’m both. It was a moment of intense temptation, though. I had dinner at the Ruperts’—you remember—and it felt to me like there was no doubt about the girl’s behavior.’

‘Don’t call her a girl!’ broke in Dora, scornfully. ‘You say she is several years older than yourself.’

‘Don’t call her a girl!’ Dora interrupted, with disdain. ‘You say she’s several years older than you.’

‘Well, at all events, she’s intellectual, and very rich. I yielded to the temptation.’

‘Well, in any case, she’s smart and very wealthy. I gave in to the temptation.’

‘And deserted Marian just when she has most need of help and consolation? It’s frightful!’

"And abandoned Marian just when she needs help and comfort the most? That's terrible!"

Jasper moved to another chair and sat down. He was much perturbed.

Jasper moved to another chair and sat down. He was very troubled.

‘Look here, Dora, I regret it; I do, indeed. And, what’s more, if that woman refuses me—as it’s more than likely she will—I will go to Marian and ask her to marry me at once. I promise that.’

‘Listen, Dora, I really regret it; I truly do. And, what’s more, if that woman turns me down—which is pretty likely—I’ll go to Marian and ask her to marry me right away. I promise.’

His sister made a movement of contemptuous impatience.

His sister moved with a dismissive impatience.

‘And if the woman doesn’t refuse you?’

‘And what if the woman doesn’t say no to you?’

‘Then I can’t help it. But there’s one thing more I will say. Whether I marry Marian or Miss Rupert, I sacrifice my strongest feelings—in the one case to a sense of duty, in the other to worldly advantage. I was an idiot to write that letter, for I knew at the time that there was a woman who is far more to me than Miss Rupert and all her money—a woman I might, perhaps, marry. Don’t ask any questions; I shall not answer them. As I have said so much, I wished you to understand my position fully. You know the promise I have made. Don’t say anything to Marian; if I am left free I shall marry her as soon as possible.’

‘Then I can’t help it. But there’s one more thing I want to say. Whether I marry Marian or Miss Rupert, I’ll be giving up my deepest feelings—in one case for a sense of duty, in the other for financial gain. I was foolish to write that letter because I knew at the time there was a woman who means so much more to me than Miss Rupert and all her money—a woman I might, perhaps, marry. Don’t ask any questions; I won’t answer them. Since I’ve said this much, I wanted you to fully understand my situation. You know the promise I’ve made. Don’t say anything to Marian; if I’m free, I’ll marry her as soon as I can.’

And so he left the room.

And so he walked out of the room.

For a fortnight and more he remained in uncertainty. His life was very uncomfortable, for Dora would only speak to him when necessity compelled her; and there were two meetings with Marian, at which he had to act his part as well as he could. At length came the expected letter. Very nicely expressed, very friendly, very complimentary, but—a refusal.

For more than two weeks, he was left in doubt. His life was quite uncomfortable because Dora would only talk to him when she had to; he had two meetings with Marian, where he tried to play his part as best as he could. Finally, the expected letter arrived. It was very well written, friendly, and flattering, but—she turned him down.

He handed it to Dora across the breakfast-table, saying with a pinched smile:

He passed it to Dora over the breakfast table, saying with a tight smile:

‘Now you can look cheerful again. I am doomed.’

'Now you can look happy again. I'm doomed.'





CHAPTER XXXV. FEVER AND REST

Milvain’s skilful efforts notwithstanding, ‘Mr Bailey, Grocer,’ had no success. By two publishers the book had been declined; the firm which brought it out offered the author half profits and fifteen pounds on account, greatly to Harold Biffen’s satisfaction. But reviewers in general were either angry or coldly contemptuous. ‘Let Mr Biffen bear in mind,’ said one of these sages, ‘that a novelist’s first duty is to tell a story.’ ‘Mr Biffen,’ wrote another, ‘seems not to understand that a work of art must before everything else afford amusement.’ ‘A pretentious book of the genre ennuyant,’ was the brief comment of a Society journal. A weekly of high standing began its short notice in a rage: ‘Here is another of those intolerable productions for which we are indebted to the spirit of grovelling realism. This author, let it be said, is never offensive, but then one must go on to describe his work by a succession of negatives; it is never interesting, never profitable, never—’ and the rest. The eulogy in The West End had a few timid echoes. That in The Current would have secured more imitators, but unfortunately it appeared when most of the reviewing had already been done. And, as Jasper truly said, only a concurrence of powerful testimonials could have compelled any number of people to affect an interest in this book. ‘The first duty of a novelist is to tell a story:’ the perpetual repetition of this phrase is a warning to all men who propose drawing from the life. Biffen only offered a slice of biography, and it was found to lack flavour.

Despite Milvain’s skilled efforts, ‘Mr. Bailey, Grocer’ was not successful. The book was rejected by two publishers; the firm that eventually published it offered the author half the profits and fifteen pounds upfront, which made Harold Biffen quite happy. However, most reviewers were either angry or dismissively contemptuous. One of these critics stated, ‘Let Mr. Biffen remember that a novelist’s main job is to tell a story.’ Another wrote, ‘Mr. Biffen seems to not realize that a work of art must primarily entertain.’ A Society journal described it as ‘a pretentious book of the genre ennuyant.’ A prominent weekly began its brief notice with disbelief: ‘Here’s another unbearable book produced by the spirit of groveling realism. This author, it should be mentioned, is never offensive, but we can only describe his work with negatives; it is never interesting, never worthwhile, never—’ and so on. The praise in The West End received a few hesitant echoes. The recognition in The Current could have attracted more followers, but unfortunately, it came out after most reviews had already been published. And, as Jasper rightly pointed out, only a combination of strong endorsements could have encouraged anyone to express interest in this book. ‘The first duty of a novelist is to tell a story:’ the constant repetition of this line serves as a warning to anyone trying to draw from real life. Biffen only provided a slice of biography, and it was found to lack depth.

He wrote to Mrs Reardon: ‘I cannot thank you enough for this very kind letter about my book; I value it more than I should the praises of all the reviewers in existence. You have understood my aim. Few people will do that, and very few indeed could express it with such clear conciseness.’

He wrote to Mrs. Reardon: ‘I can’t thank you enough for this incredibly kind letter about my book; I appreciate it more than I would the praises of all the reviewers out there. You’ve grasped my intention. Few people do that, and even fewer could express it so clearly and concisely.’

If Amy had but contented herself with a civil acknowledgment of the volumes he sent her! She thought it a kindness to write to him so appreciatively, to exaggerate her approval. The poor fellow was so lonely. Yes, but his loneliness only became intolerable when a beautiful woman had smiled upon him, and so forced him to dream perpetually of that supreme joy of life which to him was forbidden.

If Amy had just been satisfied with a polite acknowledgment of the books he sent her! She thought it was kind to write to him in such an appreciative way, to overstate her approval. The poor guy was so lonely. Yes, but his loneliness only became unbearable when a beautiful woman had smiled at him, which made him constantly dream of that ultimate joy in life that was off-limits for him.

It was a fatal day, that on which Amy put herself under his guidance to visit Reardon’s poor room at Islington. In the old times, Harold had been wont to regard his friend’s wife as the perfect woman; seldom in his life had he enjoyed female society, and when he first met Amy it was years since he had spoken with any woman above the rank of a lodging-house keeper or a needle-plier. Her beauty seemed to him of a very high order, and her mental endowments filled him with an exquisite delight, not to be appreciated by men who have never been in his position. When the rupture came between Amy and her husband, Harold could not believe that she was in any way to blame; held to Reardon by strong friendship, he yet accused him of injustice to Amy. And what he saw of her at Brighton confirmed him in this judgment. When he accompanied her to Manville Street, he allowed her, of course, to remain alone in the room where Reardon had lived; but Amy presently summoned him, and asked him questions. Every tear she shed watered a growth of passionate tenderness in the solitary man’s heart. Parting from her at length, he went to hide his face in darkness and think of her—think of her.

It was a fateful day when Amy decided to let him guide her to Reardon's small apartment in Islington. In the past, Harold had always seen his friend’s wife as the ideal woman; he rarely spent time with women and, when he first met Amy, it had been years since he'd talked to anyone above the status of a boarding house owner or a seamstress. Her beauty struck him as extraordinary, and her intelligence brought him a deep joy that others who hadn’t experienced his situation couldn't understand. When the conflict arose between Amy and her husband, Harold couldn’t accept that she was to blame; despite his close friendship with Reardon, he believed he was treating Amy unfairly. What he witnessed of her in Brighton only strengthened this belief. When he went with her to Manville Street, he naturally let her be alone in the room where Reardon had stayed, but soon Amy called for him and started asking questions. Every tear she dropped nurtured a growing tenderness in the lonely man’s heart. After finally saying goodbye, he went off to obscure his face in darkness and think about her—think about her.

A fatal day. There was an end of all his peace, all his capacity for labour, his patient endurance of penury. Once, when he was about three-and-twenty, he had been in love with a girl of gentle nature and fair intelligence; on account of his poverty, he could not even hope that his love might be returned, and he went away to bear the misery as best he might. Since then the life he had led precluded the forming of such attachments; it would never have been possible for him to support a wife of however humble origin. At intervals he felt the full weight of his loneliness, but there were happily long periods during which his Greek studies and his efforts in realistic fiction made him indifferent to the curse laid upon him. But after that hour of intimate speech with Amy, he never again knew rest of mind or heart.

A fatal day. It marked the end of all his peace, his ability to work, and his patient endurance of hardship. Once, when he was about twenty-three, he had fallen in love with a kind-hearted and smart girl; because of his poverty, he couldn’t even dream of his feelings being returned, and he left to cope with the misery as best he could. Since then, the life he lived made it impossible to form such attachments; he could never support a wife, no matter how humble her background. Occasionally, he felt the heavy weight of his loneliness, but thankfully there were long stretches where his Greek studies and his efforts in realistic fiction made him indifferent to the curse of solitude. But after that moment of deep conversation with Amy, he never again found peace of mind or heart.

Accepting what Reardon had bequeathed to him, he removed the books and furniture to a room in that part of the town which he had found most convenient for his singular tutorial pursuits. The winter did not pass without days of all but starvation, but in March he received his fifteen pounds for ‘Mr Bailey,’ and this was a fortune, putting him beyond the reach of hunger for full six months. Not long after that he yielded to a temptation that haunted him day and night, and went to call upon Amy, who was still living with her mother at Westbourne Park. When he entered the drawing-room Amy was sitting there alone; she rose with an exclamation of frank pleasure.

Accepting what Reardon had left him, he moved the books and furniture to a room in the part of town that he found most convenient for his unique teaching pursuits. The winter didn't go by without days of near starvation, but in March he received his fifteen pounds for ‘Mr. Bailey,’ which felt like a fortune, allowing him to avoid hunger for a full six months. Not long after that, he gave in to a temptation that haunted him day and night and went to visit Amy, who was still living with her mother at Westbourne Park. When he entered the drawing room, Amy was sitting there alone; she stood up with an exclamation of genuine pleasure.

‘I have often thought of you lately, Mr Biffen. How kind to come and see me!’

‘I have been thinking about you a lot lately, Mr. Biffen. It was really nice of you to come see me!’

He could scarcely speak; her beauty, as she stood before him in the graceful black dress, was anguish to his excited nerves, and her voice was so cruel in its conventional warmth. When he looked at her eyes, he remembered how their brightness had been dimmed with tears, and the sorrow he had shared with her seemed to make him more than an ordinary friend. When he told her of his success with the publishers, she was delighted.

He could barely speak; her beauty, as she stood in front of him in that elegant black dress, was torturing his nerves, and her voice felt so harsh despite its usual warmth. When he looked into her eyes, he recalled how their brightness had been clouded with tears, and the sadness he had shared with her made him feel more than just a regular friend. When he told her about his success with the publishers, she was thrilled.

‘Oh, when is it to come out? I shall watch the advertisements so anxiously.’

‘Oh, when is it going to come out? I’ll be watching the ads so eagerly.’

‘Will you allow me to send you a copy, Mrs Reardon?’

‘Can I send you a copy, Mrs. Reardon?’

‘Can you really spare one?’

"Can you actually spare one?"

Of the half-dozen he would receive, he scarcely knew how to dispose of three. And Amy expressed her gratitude in the most charming way. She had gained much in point of manner during the past twelve months; her ten thousand pounds inspired her with the confidence necessary to a perfect demeanour. That slight hardness which was wont to be perceptible in her tone had altogether passed away; she seemed to be cultivating flexibility of voice.

Of the six he was going to get, he hardly knew what to do with three of them. And Amy showed her appreciation in the most delightful way. She had really improved her manners over the past year; her ten thousand pounds gave her the confidence she needed for a perfect demeanor. That slight edge that used to be apparent in her tone had completely disappeared; she seemed to be working on making her voice more flexible.

Mrs Yule came in, and was all graciousness. Then two callers presented themselves. Biffen’s pleasure was at an end as soon as he had to adapt himself to polite dialogue; he escaped as speedily as possible.

Mrs. Yule came in, and she was all charm. Then two visitors arrived. Biffen’s enjoyment ended the moment he had to engage in polite conversation; he left as quickly as he could.

He was not the kind of man that deceives himself as to his own aspect in the eyes of others. Be as kind as she might, Amy could not set him strutting Malvolio-wise; she viewed him as a poor devil who often had to pawn his coat—a man of parts who would never get on in the world—a friend to be thought of kindly because her dead husband had valued him. Nothing more than that; he understood perfectly the limits of her feeling. But this could not put restraint upon the emotion with which he received any most trifling utterance of kindness from her. He did not think of what was, but of what, under changed circumstances, might be. To encourage such fantasy was the idlest self-torment, but he had gone too far in this form of indulgence. He became the slave of his inflamed imagination.

He wasn’t the type of guy to fool himself about how others saw him. No matter how nice she was, Amy couldn’t make him prance around like Malvolio; she saw him as a sad guy who often had to sell his coat—a talented man who would never succeed in life—a friend to remember fondly because her late husband had respected him. Nothing more than that; he knew very well the limits of her feelings. But that didn’t stop the feelings he had whenever she showed him even the smallest bit of kindness. He didn’t think about what was reality, but rather about what could be under different circumstances. Encouraging such fantasies was just pointless self-torment, but he had already gone too far with this indulgence. He became a slave to his overactive imagination.

In that letter with which he replied to her praises of his book, perchance he had allowed himself to speak too much as he thought.

In that letter where he responded to her compliments about his book, he might have let himself talk more than he intended.

He wrote in reckless delight, and did not wait for the prudence of a later hour. When it was past recall, he would gladly have softened many of the expressions the letter contained. ‘I value it more than the praises of all the reviewers in existence’—would Amy be offended at that? ‘Yours in gratitude and reverence,’ he had signed himself—the kind of phrase that comes naturally to a passionate man, when he would fain say more than he dares. To what purpose this half-revelation? Unless, indeed, he wished to learn once and for ever, by the gentlest of repulses, that his homage was only welcome so long as it kept well within conventional terms.

He wrote with reckless joy, not waiting for the caution of a later time. Once it was done, he would have happily softened many of the phrases in the letter. ‘I value it more than the praises of all the reviewers out there’—would Amy take offense at that? ‘Yours in gratitude and respect,’ he had signed—something a passionate person naturally writes when they want to express more than they feel comfortable saying. What was the point of this half-revelation? Unless, of course, he wanted to find out, through the gentlest rejection, that his admiration was only welcome as long as it stayed within conventional limits.

He passed a month of distracted idleness, until there came a day when the need to see Amy was so imperative that it mastered every consideration. He donned his best clothes, and about four o’clock presented himself at Mrs Yule’s house. By ill luck there happened to be at least half a dozen callers in the drawing-room; the strappado would have been preferable, in his eyes, to such an ordeal as this. Moreover, he was convinced that both Amy and her mother received him with far less cordiality than on the last occasion. He had expected it, but he bit his lips till the blood came. What business had he among people of this kind? No doubt the visitors wondered at his comparative shabbiness, and asked themselves how he ventured to make a call without the regulation chimney-pot hat. It was a wretched and foolish mistake.

He spent a month of restless idleness until one day the urge to see Amy became so strong that it overshadowed everything else. He put on his best clothes and showed up at Mrs. Yule’s house around four o’clock. Unfortunately, there were at least six guests in the drawing room; he would have preferred torture to facing such a situation. He also felt that both Amy and her mother greeted him with much less warmth than before. He had anticipated this, but he bit his lips until they bled. What was he doing among these people? The other visitors were probably judging his somewhat shabby appearance and wondering how he had the nerve to come without a proper top hat. It was a miserable and foolish mistake.

Ten minutes saw him in the street again, vowing that he would never approach Amy more. Not that he found fault with her; the blame was entirely his own.

Ten minutes later, he was back on the street, promising himself that he would never approach Amy again. It wasn't that he had any problems with her; the fault was entirely his.

He lived on the third floor of a house in Goodge Street, above a baker’s shop. The bequest of Reardon’s furniture was a great advantage to him, as he had only to pay rent for a bare room; the books, too, came as a godsend, since the destruction of his own. He had now only one pupil, and was not exerting himself to find others; his old energy had forsaken him.

He lived on the third floor of a house on Goodge Street, above a bakery. The inheritance of Reardon's furniture was a huge help to him since he only had to pay rent for an empty room; the books also came in handy after he lost his own. He now had just one student and wasn't trying hard to find more; his former energy had left him.

For the failure of his book he cared nothing. It was no more than he anticipated. The work was done—the best he was capable of—and this satisfied him.

For the failure of his book, he didn't care at all. It was exactly what he expected. The work was finished—the best he could do—and that was enough for him.

It was doubtful whether he loved Amy, in the true sense of exclusive desire. She represented for him all that is lovely in womanhood; to his starved soul and senses she was woman, the complement of his frustrate being. Circumstance had made her the means of exciting in him that natural force which had hitherto either been dormant or had yielded to the resolute will.

It was uncertain if he truly loved Amy in the way one loves exclusively. She embodied everything beautiful about womanhood; for his deprived soul and senses, she was the essence of woman, completing his unfulfilled existence. Life had made her the catalyst for awakening in him that natural energy that had either been inactive or had surrendered to strong will.

Companionless, inert, he suffered the tortures which are so ludicrous and contemptible to the happily married. Life was barren to him, and would soon grow hateful; only in sleep could he cast off the unchanging thoughts and desires which made all else meaningless. And rightly meaningless: he revolted against the unnatural constraints forbidding him to complete his manhood.

Alone and stagnant, he experienced the torments that seem so ridiculous and pathetic to those who are happily married. Life felt empty to him, and it would soon become unbearable; only in sleep could he escape the persistent thoughts and desires that rendered everything else insignificant. And justifiably insignificant: he resented the unnatural restrictions that prevented him from fulfilling his manhood.

By what fatality was he alone of men withheld from the winning of a woman’s love?

By what twist of fate was he the only one unable to win a woman's love?

He could not bear to walk the streets where the faces of beautiful women would encounter him. When he must needs leave the house, he went about in the poor, narrow ways, where only spectacles of coarseness, and want, and toil would be presented to him. Yet even here he was too often reminded that the poverty-stricken of the class to which poverty is natural were not condemned to endure in solitude. Only he who belonged to no class, who was rejected alike by his fellows in privation and by his equals in intellect, must die without having known the touch of a loving woman’s hand.

He couldn't stand walking the streets where beautiful women would cross his path. When he had to leave the house, he took to the poor, narrow alleys, where he was only confronted with harsh realities of roughness, need, and hard work. Yet even there, he was often reminded that the impoverished, who seemed to naturally belong in that situation, didn’t have to suffer in solitude. Only someone who didn’t fit into any class, who was shunned by both those in poverty and his intellectual peers, would die without ever experiencing the touch of a loving woman's hand.

The summer went by, and he was unconscious of its warmth and light. How his days passed he could not have said.

The summer went by, and he was unaware of its warmth and light. He couldn't have said how his days went by.

One evening in early autumn, as he stood before the book-stall at the end of Goodge Street, a familiar voice accosted him. It was Whelpdale’s. A month or two ago he had stubbornly refused an invitation to dine with Whelpdale and other acquaintances—you remember what the occasion was—and since then the prosperous young man had not crossed his path.

One evening in early autumn, while he was standing in front of the bookstore at the end of Goodge Street, a familiar voice greeted him. It was Whelpdale’s. A month or two earlier, he had stubbornly turned down an invitation to have dinner with Whelpdale and some other friends—you remember what the occasion was—and since then, the successful young man hadn't come his way.

‘I’ve something to tell you,’ said the assailer, taking hold of his arm. ‘I’m in a tremendous state of mind, and want someone to share my delight. You can walk a short way, I hope? Not too busy with some new book?’

‘I’ve got something to tell you,’ said the attacker, grabbing his arm. ‘I’m feeling really great and want to share my excitement with someone. Can you walk for a bit, I hope? You're not too caught up in some new book, are you?’

Biffen gave no answer, but went whither he was led.

Biffen didn’t respond but went where he was directed.

‘You are writing a new book, I suppose? Don’t be discouraged, old fellow. “Mr Bailey” will have his day yet; I know men who consider it an undoubted work of genius. What’s the next to deal with?’

‘You’re working on a new book, right? Don’t lose heart, my friend. “Mr. Bailey” will get its moment; I know people who think it’s a definite masterpiece. What’s the next topic you’re tackling?’

‘I haven’t decided yet,’ replied Harold, merely to avoid argument. He spoke so seldom that the sound of his own voice was strange to him.

‘I haven’t decided yet,’ Harold replied, just to avoid an argument. He spoke so rarely that hearing his own voice felt odd to him.

‘Thinking over it, I suppose, in your usual solid way. Don’t be hurried. But I must tell you of this affair of mine. You know Dora Milvain? I have asked her to marry me, and, by the Powers! she has given me an encouraging answer. Not an actual yes, but encouraging! She’s away in the Channel Islands, and I wrote—’

‘Thinking it over, I guess, in your usual reliable way. Don’t rush. But I have to tell you about my situation. You know Dora Milvain? I asked her to marry me, and, by the Powers! she gave me an encouraging response. Not a definite yes, but encouraging! She’s away in the Channel Islands, and I wrote—’

He talked on for a quarter of an hour. Then, with a sudden movement, the listener freed himself.

He talked for fifteen minutes. Then, with a quick motion, the listener broke free.

‘I can’t go any farther,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Good-bye!’

‘I can’t go any further,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Goodbye!’

Whelpdale was disconcerted.

Whelpdale was unsettled.

‘I have been boring you. That’s a confounded fault of mine; I know it.’

‘I have been boring you. That’s a damn flaw of mine; I know it.’

Biffen had waved his hand, and was gone.

Biffen said goodbye and left.

A week or two more would see him at the end of his money. He had no lessons now, and could not write; from his novel nothing was to be expected. He might apply again to his brother, but such dependence was unjust and unworthy. And why should he struggle to preserve a life which had no prospect but of misery?

A week or two more would mean he’d run out of money. He had no classes now and couldn’t write; he couldn’t expect anything from his novel. He could ask his brother for help again, but relying on him felt unfair and beneath him. And why should he fight to maintain a life that promised nothing but suffering?

It was in the hours following his encounter with Whelpdale that he first knew the actual desire of death, the simple longing for extinction. One must go far in suffering before the innate will-to-live is thus truly overcome; weariness of bodily anguish may induce this perversion of the instincts; less often, that despair of suppressed emotion which had fallen upon Harold. Through the night he kept his thoughts fixed on death in its aspect of repose, of eternal oblivion. And herein he had found solace.

It was in the hours after his meeting with Whelpdale that he first recognized the genuine desire for death, the straightforward wish for nothingness. You have to go deep into suffering before the natural will to live is truly defeated; exhaustion from physical pain can lead to this twist in instincts; less frequently, it's that despair from repressed emotions that had overwhelmed Harold. Throughout the night, he kept his thoughts focused on death as a form of rest, of eternal nothingness. And in this, he found comfort.

The next night it was the same. Moving about among common needs and occupations, he knew not a moment’s cessation of heart-ache, but when he lay down in the darkness a hopeful summons whispered to him. Night, which had been the worst season of his pain, had now grown friendly; it came as an anticipation of the sleep that is everlasting.

The next night was the same. Going about everyday tasks and responsibilities, he didn’t experience a moment's relief from heartache, but when he lay down in the darkness, a hopeful call whispered to him. Night, which had once been the worst time for his pain, had now become familiar; it came with the promise of the sleep that lasts forever.

A few more days, and he was possessed by a calm of spirit such as he had never known. His resolve was taken, not in a moment of supreme conflict, but as the result of a subtle process by which his imagination had become in love with death. Turning from contemplation of life’s one rapture, he looked with the same intensity of desire to a state that had neither fear nor hope.

A few more days passed, and he experienced a sense of peace he had never felt before. His decision wasn't made in a moment of intense struggle but rather through a gradual shift where his imagination had become fascinated by death. Shifting his focus from life's singular joy, he regarded a state that held neither fear nor hope with the same deep longing.

One afternoon he went to the Museum Reading-room, and was busy for a few minutes in consultation of a volume which he took from the shelves of medical literature. On his way homeward he entered two or three chemists’ shops. Something of which he had need could be procured only in very small quantities; but repetition of his demand in different places supplied him sufficiently. When he reached his room, he emptied the contents of sundry little bottles into one larger, and put this in his pocket. Then he wrote rather a long letter, addressed to his brother at Liverpool.

One afternoon, he went to the museum reading room and spent a few minutes looking through a book he pulled from the medical literature shelves. On his way home, he stopped by a couple of pharmacies. He needed something that could only be found in very small amounts, but asking in different places was enough to get what he needed. When he got to his room, he poured the contents of several small bottles into one larger one and put it in his pocket. Then, he wrote a fairly long letter addressed to his brother in Liverpool.

It had been a beautiful day, and there wanted still a couple of hours before the warm, golden sunlight would disappear. Harold stood and looked round his room. As always, it presented a neat, orderly aspect, but his eye caught sight of a volume which stood upside down, and this fault—particularly hateful to a bookish man—he rectified. He put his blotting-pad square on the table, closed the lid of the inkstand, arranged his pens. Then he took his hat and stick, locked the door behind him, and went downstairs. At the foot he spoke to his landlady, and told her that he should not return that night. As soon as possible after leaving the house he posted his letter.

It had been a beautiful day, and there were still a couple of hours left before the warm, golden sunlight would vanish. Harold stood and looked around his room. As always, it looked neat and orderly, but his eye caught a book that was upside down, and this mistake—especially annoying to a book lover—he fixed. He placed his blotting pad neatly on the table, closed the inkstand lid, and organized his pens. Then he grabbed his hat and cane, locked the door behind him, and went downstairs. At the bottom, he talked to his landlady and told her that he wouldn't be coming back that night. As soon as he left the house, he mailed his letter.

His direction was westward; walking at a steady, purposeful pace, with cheery countenance and eyes that gave sign of pleasure as often as they turned to the sun-smitten clouds, he struck across Kensington Gardens, and then on towards Fulham, where he crossed the Thames to Putney. The sun was just setting; he paused a few moments on the bridge, watching the river with a quiet smile, and enjoying the splendour of the sky. Up Putney Hill he walked slowly; when he reached the top it was growing dark, but an unwonted effect in the atmosphere caused him to turn and look to the east. An exclamation escaped his lips, for there before him was the new-risen moon, a perfect globe, vast and red. He gazed at it for a long time.

His path was westward; walking at a steady, purposeful pace, with a cheerful face and eyes that showed pleasure as often as they glanced at the sunlit clouds, he made his way across Kensington Gardens, and then on towards Fulham, where he crossed the Thames to Putney. The sun was just setting; he paused for a moment on the bridge, watching the river with a quiet smile, enjoying the beauty of the sky. He walked slowly up Putney Hill; when he reached the top it was getting dark, but an unusual effect in the atmosphere made him turn to look east. An exclamation slipped from his lips, for there before him was the newly risen moon, a perfect globe, massive and red. He stared at it for a long time.

When the daylight had entirely passed, he went forward on to the heath, and rambled, as if idly, to a secluded part, where trees and bushes made a deep shadow under the full moon. It was still quite warm, and scarcely a breath of air moved among the reddening leaves.

When the daylight completely faded, he walked onto the heath and casually strolled to a quiet spot where trees and bushes created a deep shadow under the full moon. It was still pretty warm, and hardly any breeze stirred among the reddening leaves.

Sure at length that he was remote from all observation, he pressed into a little copse, and there reclined on the grass, leaning against the stem of a tree. The moon was now hidden from him, but by looking upward he could see its light upon a long, faint cloud, and the blue of the placid sky. His mood was one of ineffable peace. Only thoughts of beautiful things came into his mind; he had reverted to an earlier period of life, when as yet no mission of literary realism had been imposed upon him, and when his passions were still soothed by natural hope. The memory of his friend Reardon was strongly present with him, but of Amy he thought only as of that star which had just come into his vision above the edge of dark foliage—beautiful, but infinitely remote.

Sure that he was far from any eyes on him, he slipped into a small grove and lay down on the grass, leaning against the trunk of a tree. The moon was now out of sight, but by looking up, he could see its light shining on a long, faint cloud and the blue of the calm sky. He felt a deep sense of peace. Only thoughts of beautiful things filled his mind; he had returned to an earlier time in his life when he hadn’t yet taken on the burden of literary realism, and when his passions were still comforted by natural hope. He vividly remembered his friend Reardon, but he thought of Amy only like a star that had just appeared above the dark leaves—beautiful, yet impossibly distant.

Recalling Reardon’s voice, it brought to him those last words whispered by his dying companion. He remembered them now:

Recalling Reardon's voice brought back the last words whispered by his dying companion. He remembered them now:

      We are such stuff
      As dreams are made on, and our little life
      Is rounded with a sleep.
    
      We are made of the same stuff as dreams, and our short lives are completed with sleep.




CHAPTER XXXVI. JASPER’S DELICATE CASE

Only when he received Miss Rupert’s amiably-worded refusal to become his wife was Jasper aware how firmly he had counted on her accepting him. He told Dora with sincerity that his proposal was a piece of foolishness; so far from having any regard for Miss Rupert, he felt towards her with something of antipathy, and at the same time he was conscious of ardent emotions, if not love, for another woman who would be no bad match even from the commercial point of view. Yet so strong was the effect upon him of contemplating a large fortune, that, in despite of reason and desire, he lived in eager expectation of the word which should make him rich. And for several hours after his disappointment he could not overcome the impression of calamity.

Only when he got Miss Rupert’s pleasantly worded refusal to marry him did Jasper realize how much he had been counting on her saying yes. He sincerely told Dora that his proposal was a foolish mistake; far from having any feelings for Miss Rupert, he actually felt a bit of dislike towards her, while at the same time he was aware of strong feelings, if not love, for another woman who would be a great match even in terms of finances. Yet the thought of a large fortune affected him so strongly that, despite logic and what he wanted, he held onto eager hopes for the words that would make him rich. For several hours after his disappointment, he struggled to shake off the feeling of disaster.

A part of that impression was due to the engagement which he must now fulfil. He had pledged his word to ask Marian to marry him without further delay. To shuffle out of this duty would make him too ignoble even in his own eyes. Its discharge meant, as he had expressed it, that he was ‘doomed’; he would deliberately be committing the very error always so flagrant to him in the case of other men who had crippled themselves by early marriage with a penniless woman. But events had enmeshed him; circumstances had proved fatal. Because, in his salad days, he dallied with a girl who had indeed many charms, step by step he had come to the necessity of sacrificing his prospects to that raw attachment. And, to make it more irritating, this happened just when the way began to be much clearer before him.

A part of that impression came from the commitment he now had to fulfill. He had promised to ask Marian to marry him without delay. Avoiding this responsibility would make him feel too disgraceful, even in his own eyes. Carrying it out meant, as he had put it, that he was ‘doomed’; he would be intentionally making the very mistake he always found so obvious in other men who had limited their futures by marrying a broke woman too soon. But circumstances had trapped him; fate had been unforgiving. Because, in his younger days, he had flirted with a girl who had many attractive qualities, he had ended up sacrificing his future for that immature attachment. And to make it even more frustrating, this was happening just as his path was starting to become much clearer.

Unable to think of work, he left the house and wandered gloomily about Regent’s Park. For the first time in his recollection the confidence which was wont to inspirit him gave way to an attack of sullen discontent. He felt himself ill-used by destiny, and therefore by Marian, who was fate’s instrument. It was not in his nature that this mood should last long, but it revealed to him those darker possibilities which his egoism would develop if it came seriously into conflict with overmastering misfortune. A hope, a craven hope, insinuated itself into the cracks of his infirm resolve. He would not examine it, but conscious of its existence he was able to go home in somewhat better spirits.

Unable to focus on work, he left the house and wandered sadly around Regent’s Park. For the first time he could remember, the confidence that usually uplifted him gave way to a wave of deep discontent. He felt wronged by fate, and by Marian, who was just a tool of that fate. It wasn’t in his nature for this mood to last long, but it showed him the darker possibilities his selfishness might uncover if he faced a serious stroke of bad luck. A hope, a weak hope, crept into the cracks of his fragile determination. He didn’t want to look too closely at it, but recognizing its presence allowed him to return home in slightly better spirits.

He wrote to Marian. If possible she was to meet him at half-past nine next morning at Gloucester Gate. He had reasons for wishing this interview to take place on neutral ground.

He wrote to Marian. If possible, she was to meet him at 9:30 the next morning at Gloucester Gate. He had reasons for wanting this meeting to happen on neutral ground.

Early in the afternoon, when he was trying to do some work, there arrived a letter which he opened with impatient hand; the writing was Mrs Reardon’s, and he could not guess what she had to communicate.

Early in the afternoon, while he was trying to get some work done, a letter arrived that he opened with an impatient hand; it was written by Mrs. Reardon, and he couldn't figure out what she wanted to say.

‘DEAR MR MILVAIN,—I am distressed beyond measure to read in this morning’s newspaper that poor Mr Biffen has put an end to his life. Doubtless you can obtain more details than are given in this bare report of the discovery of his body. Will you let me hear, or come and see me?’

‘DEAR MR MILVAIN,—I am deeply saddened to read in this morning’s newspaper that Mr. Biffen has taken his own life. I’m sure you can get more details than what’s provided in this brief report about the discovery of his body. Please let me know what you find out, or come to see me.’

He read and was astonished. Absorbed in his own affairs, he had not opened the newspaper to-day; it lay folded on a chair. Hastily he ran his eye over the columns, and found at length a short paragraph which stated that the body of a man who had evidently committed suicide by taking poison had been found on Putney Heath; that papers in his pockets identified him as one Harold Biffen, lately resident in Goodge Street, Tottenham Court Road; and that an inquest would be held, &c. He went to Dora’s room, and told her of the event, but without mentioning the letter which had brought it under his notice.

He read and was shocked. Caught up in his own life, he hadn’t opened the newspaper today; it was folded on a chair. Quickly, he skimmed through the articles and finally found a short paragraph stating that the body of a man who had apparently committed suicide by poison had been discovered on Putney Heath; papers in his pockets identified him as one Harold Biffen, recently living on Goodge Street, Tottenham Court Road; and that an inquest would be held, etc. He went to Dora’s room and shared the news with her, but he didn’t mention the letter that had brought it to his attention.

‘I suppose there was no alternative between that and starvation. I scarcely thought of Biffen as likely to kill himself. If Reardon had done it, I shouldn’t have felt the least surprise.’

‘I guess there was no choice between that and starving. I hardly considered Biffen as someone who would take his own life. If Reardon had done it, I wouldn't have been the least bit surprised.’

‘Mr Whelpdale will be bringing us information, no doubt,’ said Dora, who, as she spoke, thought more of that gentleman’s visit than of the event that was to occasion it.

‘Mr. Whelpdale will be bringing us information, no doubt,’ said Dora, who, as she spoke, thought more about his visit than the event that was causing it.

‘Really, one can’t grieve. There seemed no possibility of his ever earning enough to live decently upon. But why the deuce did he go all the way out there? Consideration for the people in whose house he lived, I dare say; Biffen had a good deal of native delicacy.’

‘Honestly, you can’t really mourn. It seemed impossible for him to earn enough to live decently. But why on earth did he go all the way out there? Probably out of consideration for the people he was living with; Biffen had quite a bit of natural sensitivity.’

Dora felt a secret wish that someone else possessed more of that desirable quality.

Dora had a quiet wish that someone else had more of that appealing quality.

Leaving her, Jasper made a rapid, though careful, toilet, and was presently on his way to Westbourne Park. It was his hope that he should reach Mrs Yule’s house before any ordinary afternoon caller could arrive; and so he did. He had not been here since that evening when he encountered Reardon on the road and heard his reproaches. To his great satisfaction, Amy was alone in the drawing-room; he held her hand a trifle longer than was necessary, and returned more earnestly the look of interest with which she regarded him.

Leaving her, Jasper quickly freshened up and was soon on his way to Westbourne Park. He hoped to get to Mrs. Yule’s house before any regular afternoon visitors showed up, and he succeeded. He hadn’t been there since that night when he ran into Reardon on the road and faced his accusations. To his delight, Amy was alone in the drawing room; he held her hand a bit longer than needed and returned her look of interest with even more sincerity.

‘I was ignorant of this affair when your letter came,’ he began, ‘and I set out immediately to see you.’

‘I didn’t know about this situation when your letter arrived,’ he said, ‘so I headed out right away to see you.’

‘I hoped you would bring me some news. What can have driven the poor man to such extremity?’

‘I hoped you'd bring me some news. What could have pushed the poor man to such extremes?’

‘Poverty, I can only suppose. But I will see Whelpdale. I hadn’t come across Biffen for a long time.’

‘Poverty, I can only guess. But I’ll see Whelpdale. I haven’t seen Biffen in a long time.’

‘Was he still so very poor?’ asked Amy, compassionately.

“Is he still really that poor?” Amy asked with compassion.

‘I’m afraid so. His book failed utterly.’

‘I’m afraid so. His book completely flopped.’

‘Oh, if I had imagined him still in such distress, surely I might have done something to help him!’—So often the regretful remark of one’s friends, when one has been permitted to perish.

‘Oh, if I had known he was still in such pain, I definitely would have done something to help him!’—This is such a common regret expressed by friends when someone has been allowed to suffer.

With Amy’s sorrow was mingled a suggestion of tenderness which came of her knowledge that the dead man had worshipped her. Perchance his death was in part attributable to that hopeless love.

With Amy’s sadness was blended a hint of affection that arose from her awareness that the deceased had admired her deeply. Perhaps his death was partly due to that unrequited love.

‘He sent me a copy of his novel,’ she said, ‘and I saw him once or twice after that. But he was much better dressed than in former days, and I thought—’

‘He sent me a copy of his novel,’ she said, ‘and I saw him a couple of times after that. But he was dressed way better than before, and I thought—’

Having this subject to converse upon put the two more quickly at ease than could otherwise have been the case. Jasper was closely observant of the young widow; her finished graces made a strong appeal to his admiration, and even in some degree awed him. He saw that her beauty had matured, and it was more distinctly than ever of the type to which he paid reverence. Amy might take a foremost place among brilliant women. At a dinner-table, in grand toilet, she would be superb; at polite receptions people would whisper: ‘Who is that?’

Having this topic to talk about made the two feel comfortable with each other much quicker than they would have otherwise. Jasper paid close attention to the young widow; her polished elegance strongly attracted his admiration and even intimidated him a bit. He noticed that her beauty had evolved, and it was more clearly than ever the kind he respected. Amy could easily stand out among remarkable women. At a dinner table, dressed elegantly, she would look stunning; at fancy gatherings, people would whisper, "Who is that?"

Biffen fell out of the dialogue.

Biffen dropped out of the conversation.

‘It grieved me very much,’ said Amy, ‘to hear of the misfortune that befell my cousin.’

"It really upset me," said Amy, "to hear about the misfortune that happened to my cousin."

‘The legacy affair? Why, yes, it was a pity. Especially now that her father is threatened with blindness.’

‘The legacy situation? Yeah, it’s such a shame. Especially now that her father is at risk of going blind.’

‘Is it so serious? I heard indirectly that he had something the matter with his eyes, but I didn’t know—’

‘Is it really that serious? I heard indirectly that he had something wrong with his eyes, but I didn’t know—’

‘They may be able to operate before long, and perhaps it will be successful. But in the meantime Marian has to do his work.’

‘They might be able to operate soon, and maybe it will be successful. But for now, Marian has to do his job.’

‘This explains the—the delay?’ fell from Amy’s lips, as she smiled.

‘Does this explain the delay?’ Amy asked, smiling.

Jasper moved uncomfortably. It was a voluntary gesture.

Jasper shifted awkwardly. It was a deliberate action.

‘The whole situation explains it,’ he replied, with some show of impulsiveness. ‘I am very much afraid Marian is tied during her father’s life.’

‘The whole situation makes it clear,’ he replied, with a bit of impulsiveness. ‘I’m really worried that Marian is stuck while her father is alive.’

‘Indeed? But there is her mother.’

"Seriously? But her mom is there."

‘No companion for her father, as I think you know. Even if Mr Yule recovers his sight, it is not at all likely that he will be able to work as before. Our difficulties are so grave that—’

‘No companion for her father, as I think you know. Even if Mr. Yule gets his sight back, it’s unlikely he’ll be able to work like he used to. Our challenges are so serious that—’

He paused, and let his hand fail despondently.

He paused and let his hand drop in defeat.

‘I hope it isn’t affecting your work—your progress?’

‘I hope it isn’t impacting your work—your progress?’

‘To some extent, necessarily. I have a good deal of will, you remember, and what I have set my mind upon, no doubt, I shall some day achieve. But—one makes mistakes.’

‘To some extent, that's true. I have a lot of determination, you remember, and whatever I put my mind to, I’m sure I will achieve one day. But—everyone makes mistakes.’

There was silence.

There was quiet.

‘The last three years,’ he continued, ‘have made no slight difference in my position. Recall where I stood when you first knew me. I have done something since then, I think, and by my own steady effort.’

‘The last three years,’ he continued, ‘have changed my situation a lot. Remember where I was when you first met me. I think I’ve accomplished something since then, and it’s been through my own consistent effort.’

‘Indeed, you have.’

'For sure, you have.'

‘Just now I am in need of a little encouragement. You don’t notice any falling off in my work recently?’

‘Right now, I could really use a bit of encouragement. Haven't you noticed any drop in my work lately?’

‘No, indeed.’

'No way.'

‘Do you see my things in The Current and so on, generally?’

‘Do you see my stuff in The Current and everything, usually?’

‘I don’t think I miss many of your articles. Sometimes I believe I have detected you when there was no signature.’

‘I don't think I miss many of your articles. Sometimes I think I can tell it's you even when there's no signature.’

‘And Dora has been doing well. Her story in that girls’ paper has attracted attention. It’s a great deal to have my mind at rest about both the girls. But I can’t pretend to be in very good spirits.’ He rose. ‘Well, I must try to find out something more about poor Biffen.’

‘And Dora has been doing well. Her story in that girls’ paper has attracted attention. It’s a relief to put my mind at ease about both girls. But I can’t pretend to be in a very good mood.’ He stood up. ‘Well, I need to try to find out more about poor Biffen.’

‘Oh, you are not going yet, Mr Milvain?’

‘Oh, you’re not leaving yet, Mr. Milvain?’

‘Not, assuredly, because I wish to. But I have work to do.’ He stepped aside, but came back as if on an impulse. ‘May I ask you for your advice in a very delicate matter?’

‘Not because I want to. But I have work to do.’ He stepped aside but returned as if on impulse. ‘Can I ask for your advice on a very delicate matter?’

Amy was a little disturbed, but she collected herself and smiled in a way that reminded Jasper of his walk with her along Gower Street.

Amy felt a bit unsettled, but she pulled herself together and smiled in a way that brought back memories for Jasper of their stroll along Gower Street.

‘Let me hear what it is.’

‘Let me know what it is.’

He sat down again, and bent forward.

He sat down again and leaned forward.

‘If Marian insists that it is her duty to remain with her father, am I justified or not in freely consenting to that?’

‘If Marian insists that it’s her duty to stay with her father, am I allowed or not to agree to that without any hesitation?’

‘I scarcely understand. Has Marian expressed a wish to devote herself in that way?’

‘I hardly understand. Has Marian said she wants to dedicate herself like that?’

‘Not distinctly. But I suspect that her conscience points to it. I am in serious doubt. On the one hand,’ he explained in a tone of candour, ‘who will not blame me if our engagement terminates in circumstances such as these? On the other—you are aware, by-the-by, that her father objects in the strongest way to this marriage?’

‘Not really. But I have a feeling that her conscience is hinting at it. I'm really unsure. On one hand,’ he said in an honest tone, ‘who wouldn't blame me if our engagement ends under these circumstances? On the other hand—you know, by the way, that her father is completely against this marriage?’

‘No, I didn’t know that.’

"No, I didn't know that."

‘He will neither see me nor hear of me. Merely because of my connection with Fadge. Think of that poor girl thus situated. And I could so easily put her at rest by renouncing all claim upon her.’

‘He will neither see me nor hear about me. Just because of my connection with Fadge. Think of that poor girl in this situation. And I could easily put her mind at ease by giving up all claims on her.’

‘I surmise that—that you yourself would also be put at rest by such a decision?’

‘I think that you would also feel relieved by such a decision?’

‘Don’t look at me with that ironical smile,’ he pleaded. ‘What you have said is true. And really, why should I not be glad of it? I couldn’t go about declaring that I was heartbroken, in any event; I must be content for people to judge me according to their disposition, and judgments are pretty sure to be unfavourable. What can I do? In either case I must to a certain extent be in the wrong. To tell the truth, I was wrong from the first.’

‘Don’t give me that sarcastic smile,’ he begged. ‘What you said is true. And honestly, why shouldn’t I be happy about it? I can't go around claiming I'm heartbroken, anyway; I have to accept that people will form opinions about me based on their own views, and those judgments are likely to be negative. What can I do? In either situation, I must be at least somewhat in the wrong. To be honest, I was wrong from the beginning.’

There was a slight movement about Amy’s lips as these words were uttered: she kept her eyes down, and waited before replying.

There was a small movement around Amy's lips as she heard these words: she looked down and paused before responding.

‘The case is too delicate, I fear, for my advice.’

‘I'm afraid the situation is too delicate for me to give my advice.’

‘Yes, I feel it; and perhaps I oughtn’t to have spoken of it at all. Well, I’ll go back to my scribbling. I am so very glad to have seen you again.’

‘Yes, I feel it; and maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it at all. Well, I’ll go back to my writing. I’m really glad to have seen you again.’

‘It was good of you to take the trouble to come—whilst you have so much on your mind.’

‘It was nice of you to make the effort to come—especially with so much on your mind.’

Again Jasper held the white, soft hand for a superfluous moment.

Again, Jasper held the soft white hand for a pointless moment.

The next morning it was he who had to wait at the rendezvous; he was pacing the pathway at least ten minutes before the appointed time. When Marian joined him, she was panting from a hurried walk, and this affected Jasper disagreeably; he thought of Amy Reardon’s air of repose, and how impossible it would be for that refined person to fall into such disorder. He observed, too, with more disgust than usual, the signs in Marian’s attire of encroaching poverty—her unsatisfactory gloves, her mantle out of fashion. Yet for such feelings he reproached himself, and the reproach made him angry.

The next morning, he was the one waiting at the meeting spot; he paced the path for at least ten minutes before the scheduled time. When Marian arrived, she was out of breath from jogging over, and this annoyed Jasper; he thought of Amy Reardon’s calm demeanor and how impossible it would be for that refined person to look so disheveled. He also noted, with more disgust than usual, the signs of poverty in Marian’s outfit—her inadequate gloves, her outdated coat. Still, he felt guilty for these thoughts, and that guilt made him angry.

They walked together in the same direction as when they met here before. Marian could not mistake the air of restless trouble on her companion’s smooth countenance. She had divined that there was some grave reason for this summons, and the panting with which she had approached was half caused by the anxious beats of her heart. Jasper’s long silence again was ominous. He began abruptly:

They walked together in the same direction as when they had met here before. Marian couldn't miss the restless worry on her companion's calm face. She sensed that there was a serious reason for this meeting, and her hurried breaths were partly due to the anxious thumping of her heart. Jasper's long silence felt threatening again. He started speaking suddenly:

‘You’ve heard that Harold Biffen has committed suicide?’

‘Have you heard that Harold Biffen has killed himself?’

‘No!’ she replied, looking shocked.

‘No!’ she said, looking shocked.

‘Poisoned himself. You’ll find something about it in today’s Telegraph.’

‘He poisoned himself. You’ll find something about it in today’s Telegraph.’

He gave her such details as he had obtained, then added:

He shared with her all the details he had gathered, then added:

‘There are two of my companions fallen in the battle. I ought to think myself a lucky fellow, Marian. What?’

‘Two of my friends fell in the battle. I guess I should consider myself lucky, Marian. What?’

‘You are better fitted to fight your way, Jasper.’

'You're better suited to find your own path, Jasper.'

‘More of a brute, you mean.’

‘You mean more of a brute.’

‘You know very well I don’t. You have more energy and more intellect.’

‘You know I don’t. You have more energy and more intelligence.’

‘Well, it remains to be seen how I shall come out when I am weighted with graver cares than I have yet known.’

'Well, it’s still unclear how I will handle things when I have heavier responsibilities than I’ve ever faced.'

She looked at him inquiringly, but said nothing.

She looked at him with a questioning expression, but didn’t say anything.

‘I have made up my mind about our affairs,’ he went on presently. ‘Marian, if ever we are to be married, it must be now.’

‘I’ve made a decision about our situation,’ he continued after a moment. ‘Marian, if we’re ever going to get married, it has to be now.’

The words were so unexpected that they brought a flush to her cheeks and neck.

The words were so surprising that they made her cheeks and neck flush.

‘Now?’

'Now?'

‘Yes. Will you marry me, and let us take our chance?’

'Yes. Will you marry me and take a chance with me?'

Her heart throbbed violently.

Her heart raced.

‘You don’t mean at once, Jasper? You would wait until I know what father’s fate is to be?’

‘You can't be serious, Jasper? You would wait until I find out what’s going to happen to my father?’

‘Well, now, there’s the point. You feel yourself indispensable to your father at present?’

‘Well, now, that’s the point. Do you feel like you’re essential to your dad right now?’

‘Not indispensable, but—wouldn’t it seem very unkind? I should be so afraid of the effect upon his health, Jasper. So much depends, we are told, upon his general state of mind and body. It would be dreadful if I were the cause of—’

‘Not essential, but—wouldn’t it seem really cruel? I would be so worried about how it would affect his health, Jasper. So much relies, we’re told, on his overall state of mind and body. It would be terrible if I were the reason for—’

She paused, and looked up at him touchingly.

She paused and looked up at him with emotion.

‘I understand that. But let us face our position. Suppose the operation is successful; your father will certainly not be able to use his eyes much for a long time, if ever; and perhaps he would miss you as much then as now. Suppose he does not regain his sight; could you then leave him?’

‘I get that. But let’s be real about our situation. If the operation goes well, your dad probably won't be able to use his eyes much for a long time, if at all; and he might miss you just as much then as he does now. If he doesn’t get his sight back, could you really leave him?’

‘Dear, I can’t feel it would be my duty to renounce you because my father had become blind. And if he can see pretty well, I don’t think I need remain with him.’

‘Dear, I don’t feel it’s my responsibility to give you up just because my father has gone blind. And if he can see well enough, I don’t think I need to stay with him.’

‘Has one thing occurred to you? Will he consent to receive an allowance from a person whose name is Mrs Milvain?’

‘Has it occurred to you? Will he agree to accept an allowance from someone named Mrs. Milvain?’

‘I can’t be sure,’ she replied, much troubled.

"I can't be sure," she replied, clearly upset.

‘And if he obstinately refuses—what then? What is before him?’

‘And if he stubbornly refuses—what then? What lies ahead for him?’

Marian’s head sank, and she stood still.

Marian's head dropped, and she stood frozen.

‘Why have you changed your mind so, Jasper?’ she inquired at length.

‘Why have you changed your mind so much, Jasper?’ she asked after a while.

‘Because I have decided that the indefinitely long engagement would be unjust to you—and to myself. Such engagements are always dangerous; sometimes they deprave the character of the man or woman.’

‘Because I’ve decided that a long engagement would be unfair to you—and to me. These kinds of engagements are always risky; sometimes they corrupt the character of the person involved.’

She listened anxiously and reflected.

She listened nervously and thought.

‘Everything,’ he went on, ‘would be simple enough but for your domestic difficulties. As I have said, there is the very serious doubt whether your father would accept money from you when you are my wife. Then again, shall we be able to afford such an allowance?’

‘Everything,’ he continued, ‘would be simple enough if it weren't for your family issues. As I've mentioned, there's a serious question of whether your father would accept money from you once you become my wife. Plus, can we even afford such an allowance?’

‘I thought you felt sure of that?’

‘I thought you were confident about that?’

‘I’m not very sure of anything, to tell the truth. I am harassed.

‘I’m not really sure about anything, to be honest. I feel overwhelmed.

I can’t get on with my work.’

I can’t focus on my work.

‘I am very, very sorry.’

"I'm really, really sorry."

‘It isn’t your fault, Marian, and—Well, then, there’s only one thing to do. Let us wait, at all events, till your father has undergone the operation. Whichever the result, you say your own position will be the same.’

‘It’s not your fault, Marian, and—Well, there’s only one thing we can do. Let’s wait until your dad has the operation. No matter what happens, you said your situation will be the same.’

‘Except, Jasper, that if father is helpless, I must find means of assuring his support.’

‘Except, Jasper, if Dad is helpless, I have to find a way to make sure he’s taken care of.’

‘In other words, if you can’t do that as my wife, you must remain Marian Yule.’

'In other words, if you can't do that as my wife, you have to stay Marian Yule.'

After a silence, Marian regarded him steadily.

After a pause, Marian looked at him intently.

‘You see only the difficulties in our way,’ she said, in a colder voice. ‘They are many, I know. Do you think them insurmountable?’

‘You only see the obstacles in our path,’ she said, in a cooler tone. ‘There are many, I know. Do you think they’re impossible to overcome?’

‘Upon my word, they almost seem so,’ Jasper exclaimed, distractedly.

“Honestly, they really do seem that way,” Jasper said, absentmindedly.

‘They were not so great when we spoke of marriage a few years hence.’

‘They weren't so great when we talked about marriage a few years ago.’

‘A few years!’ he echoed, in a cheerless voice. ‘That is just what I have decided is impossible. Marian, you shall have the plain truth. I can trust your faith, but I can’t trust my own. I will marry you now, but—years hence—how can I tell what may happen? I don’t trust myself.’

‘A few years!’ he repeated, sounding gloomy. ‘That’s exactly what I’ve concluded is impossible. Marian, I’ll give you the straightforward truth. I can rely on your faith, but I can’t rely on my own. I will marry you now, but—years from now—who knows what might happen? I don’t trust myself.’

‘You say you “will” marry me now; that sounds as if you had made up your mind to a sacrifice.’

‘You say you “will” marry me now; that sounds like you’ve decided to make a sacrifice.’

‘I didn’t mean that. To face difficulties, yes.’

‘I didn’t mean it that way. I meant to face challenges, yes.’

Whilst they spoke, the sky had grown dark with a heavy cloud, and now spots of rain began to fall. Jasper looked about him in annoyance as he felt the moisture, but Marian did not seem aware of it.

While they talked, the sky had turned dark with a thick cloud, and now drops of rain started to fall. Jasper glanced around in irritation as he felt the wetness, but Marian didn’t seem to notice it.

‘But shall you face them willingly?’

‘But will you face them willingly?’

‘I am not a man to repine and grumble. Put up your umbrella, Marian.’

‘I’m not the type to complain and sulk. Put up your umbrella, Marian.’

‘What do I care for a drop of rain,’ she exclaimed with passionate sadness, ‘when all my life is at stake! How am I to understand you? Every word you speak seems intended to dishearten me. Do you no longer love me? Why need you conceal it, if that is the truth? Is that what you mean by saying you distrust yourself?

‘What do I care about a drop of rain,’ she exclaimed with deep sadness, ‘when my entire life is on the line! How am I supposed to understand you? Every word you say feels like it's meant to bring me down. Do you not love me anymore? Why hide it, if that's the case? Is that what you mean when you say you don't trust yourself?

If you do so, there must be reason for it in the present. Could I distrust myself? Can I force myself in any manner to believe that I shall ever cease to love you?’

If you do that, there has to be a reason for it now. Could I doubt myself? Can I somehow make myself believe that I will ever stop loving you?

Jasper opened his umbrella.

Jasper opened his umbrella.

‘We must see each other again, Marian. We can’t stand and talk in the rain—confound it! Cursed climate, where you can never be sure of a clear sky for five minutes!’

‘We have to meet again, Marian. We can’t just stand here and talk in the rain—damn it! This awful weather, where you can’t ever count on a clear sky for even five minutes!’

‘I can’t go till you have spoken more plainly, Jasper! How am I to live an hour in such uncertainty as this? Do you love me or not? Do you wish me to be your wife, or are you sacrificing yourself?’

‘I can’t leave until you’re more clear, Jasper! How am I supposed to handle an hour of this uncertainty? Do you love me or not? Do you want me to be your wife, or are you just giving up on yourself?’

‘I do wish it!’ Her emotion had an effect upon him, and his voice trembled. ‘But I can’t answer for myself—no, not for a year. And how are we to marry now, in face of all these—’

‘I really wish it!’ Her emotion affected him, and his voice shook. ‘But I can’t be sure of myself—not for a year. And how are we supposed to get married now, with all these—’

‘What can I do? What can I do?’ she sobbed. ‘Oh, if I were but heartless to everyone but to you! If I could give you my money, and leave my father and mother to their fate! Perhaps some could do that. There is no natural law that a child should surrender everything for her parents. You know so much more of the world than I do; can’t you advise me? Is there no way of providing for my father?’

‘What can I do? What can I do?’ she cried. ‘Oh, if only I could be cold-hearted to everyone except you! If I could just give you my money and leave my parents to their fate! Maybe some people could do that. There’s no natural law that says a child must give up everything for her parents. You know so much more about the world than I do; can’t you help me? Is there no way to provide for my father?’

‘Good God! This is frightful, Marian. I can’t stand it. Live as you are doing. Let us wait and see.’

‘Good God! This is terrifying, Marian. I can't take it. Keep living as you are. Let's wait and see.’

‘At the cost of losing you?’

‘At the cost of losing you?’

‘I will be faithful to you!’

‘I will be loyal to you!’

‘And your voice says you promise it out of pity.’

‘And your voice says you promise it out of sympathy.’

He had made a pretence of holding his umbrella over her, but Marian turned away and walked to a little distance, and stood beneath the shelter of a great tree, her face averted from him. Moving to follow, he saw that her frame was shaken by soundless sobbing. When his footsteps came close to her, she again looked at him.

He pretended to hold his umbrella over her, but Marian turned away and walked a little farther, standing under the shelter of a large tree with her back to him. As he moved to follow her, he saw that she was silently shaking with tears. When he got close to her, she looked at him again.

‘I know now,’ she said, ‘how foolish it is when they talk of love being unselfish. In what can there be more selfishness? I feel as if I could hold you to your promise at any cost, though you have made me understand that you regard our engagement as your great misfortune. I have felt it for weeks—oh, for months! But I couldn’t say a word that would seem to invite such misery as this. You don’t love me, Jasper, and that’s an end of everything.

‘I know now,’ she said, ‘how silly it is when they say love is unselfish. What could be more selfish than this? I feel like I could make you stick to your promise no matter what, even though you’ve made it clear that you see our engagement as your worst luck. I’ve felt it for weeks—oh, for months! But I couldn’t say anything that would seem to ask for such heartbreak as this. You don’t love me, Jasper, and that’s all there is to it.

I should be shamed if I married you.’

I would be ashamed if I married you.

‘Whether I love you or not, I feel as if no sacrifice would be too great that would bring you the happiness you deserve.’

‘Whether I love you or not, I feel like no sacrifice would be too great to bring you the happiness you deserve.’

‘Deserve!’ she repeated bitterly. ‘Why do I deserve it? Because I long for it with all my heart and soul? There’s no such thing as deserving. Happiness or misery come to us by fate.’

‘Deserve!’ she repeated bitterly. ‘Why do I deserve it? Because I long for it with all my heart and soul? There’s no such thing as deserving. Happiness or misery come to us by fate.’

‘Is it in my power to make you happy?’

"Can I make you happy?"

‘No; because it isn’t in your power to call dead love to life again. I think perhaps you never loved me. Jasper, I could give my right hand if you had said you loved me before—I can’t put it into words; it sounds too base, and I don’t wish to imply that you behaved basely. But if you had said you loved me before that, I should have it always to remember.’

‘No; because you can’t bring dead love back to life. I think maybe you never really loved me. Jasper, I would give anything to have heard you say you loved me back then—I can’t express it well; it sounds too low, and I don’t mean to say you acted poorly. But if you had told me you loved me before that, it would always be a memory I treasured.’

‘You will do me no wrong if you charge me with baseness,’ he replied gloomily. ‘If I believe anything, I believe that I did love you. But I knew myself and I should never have betrayed what I felt, if for once in my life I could have been honourable.’

‘You won’t be wrong if you accuse me of being low,’ he said sadly. ‘If I believe anything, it’s that I really did love you. But I knew who I was, and I should have never betrayed what I felt, if for once in my life I could have been honorable.’

The rain pattered on the leaves and the grass, and still the sky darkened.

The rain drizzled on the leaves and the grass, yet the sky continued to grow darker.

‘This is wretchedness to both of us,’ Jasper added. ‘Let us part now, Marian. Let me see you again.’

‘This is terrible for both of us,’ Jasper said. ‘Let’s break up now, Marian. I want to see you again.’

‘I can’t see you again. What can you say to me more than you have said now? I should feel like a beggar coming to you. I must try and keep some little self-respect, if I am to live at all.’

‘I can’t see you again. What else can you tell me that you haven’t said already? I would feel like a beggar approaching you. I need to maintain some self-respect if I’m going to live at all.’

‘Then let me help you to think of me with indifference. Remember me as a man who disregarded priceless love such as yours to go and make himself a proud position among fools and knaves—indeed that’s what it comes to. It is you who reject me, and rightly. One who is so much at the mercy of a vulgar ambition as I am, is no fit husband for you. Soon enough you would thoroughly despise me, and though I should know it was merited, my perverse pride would revolt against it. Many a time I have tried to regard life practically as I am able to do theoretically, but it always ends in hypocrisy. It is men of my kind who succeed; the conscientious, and those who really have a high ideal, either perish or struggle on in neglect.’

‘Then let me help you to think of me with indifference. Remember me as a man who disregarded priceless love like yours to go and make himself a proud position among fools and crooks—indeed that’s what it comes to. It is you who reject me, and rightly so. Someone who is so much at the mercy of a vulgar ambition like I am is not a suitable husband for you. Soon enough, you would completely despise me, and even though I would know it was deserved, my twisted pride would rebel against it. Many times I have tried to view life practically as I can do theoretically, but it always ends up in hypocrisy. It is guys like me who succeed; the conscientious ones, and those who genuinely have a high ideal, either perish or struggle on in obscurity.’

Marian had overcome her excess of emotion.

Marian had managed to get her emotions under control.

‘There is no need to disparage yourself’ she said. ‘What can be simpler than the truth? You loved me, or thought you did, and now you love me no longer. It is a thing that happens every day, either in man or woman, and all that honour demands is the courage to confess the truth. Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you knew that I was burdensome to you?’

‘There’s no reason to put yourself down,’ she said. ‘What could be more straightforward than the truth? You loved me, or at least thought you did, and now you don’t love me anymore. It’s something that happens every day, to both men and women, and all that honor asks for is the courage to admit the truth. Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you realized that I was a burden to you?’

‘Marian, will you do this?—will you let our engagement last for another six months, but without our meeting during that time?’

‘Marian, will you do this?—will you let our engagement last for another six months, but without seeing each other during that time?’

‘But to what purpose?’

‘But what’s the point?’

‘Then we would see each other again, and both would be able to speak calmly, and we should both know with certainty what course we ought to pursue.’

‘Then we would see each other again, and we would both be able to speak calmly, and we would both know for sure what path we should take.’

‘That seems to me childish. It is easy for you to contemplate months of postponement. There must be an end now; I can bear it no longer.’

‘That seems childish to me. It’s easy for you to think about months of delays. There has to be an end now; I can't take it anymore.’

The rain fell unceasingly, and with it began to mingle an autumnal mist. Jasper delayed a moment, then asked calmly:

The rain kept falling, and an autumn mist started to blend with it. Jasper paused for a moment, then asked calmly:

‘Are you going to the Museum?’

‘Are you going to the museum?’

‘Yes.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Go home again for this morning, Marian. You can’t work—’

‘Go home again for this morning, Marian. You can’t work—’

‘I must; and I have no time to lose. Good-bye!’

‘I have to go; and I can't waste any more time. Goodbye!’

She gave him her hand. They looked at each other for an instant, then Marian left the shelter of the tree, opened her umbrella, and walked quickly away. Jasper did not watch her; he had the face of a man who is suffering a severe humiliation.

She held out her hand to him. They locked eyes for a moment, then Marian stepped out from under the tree, opened her umbrella, and hurried away. Jasper didn't follow her with his gaze; he had the look of a man enduring a deep humiliation.

A few hours later he told Dora what had come to pass, and without extenuation of his own conduct. His sister said very little, for she recognised genuine suffering in his tones and aspect. But when it was over, she sat down and wrote to Marian.

A few hours later, he told Dora what had happened, without trying to justify his own behavior. His sister said very little because she could sense the real pain in his voice and expression. But when it was done, she sat down and wrote to Marian.

‘I feel far more disposed to congratulate you than to regret what has happened. Now that there is no necessity for silence, I will tell you something which will help you to see Jasper in his true light. A few weeks ago he actually proposed to a woman for whom he does not pretend to have the slightest affection, but who is very rich, and who seemed likely to be foolish enough to marry him. Yesterday morning he received her final answer—a refusal. I am not sure that I was right in keeping this a secret from you, but I might have done harm by interfering. You will understand (though surely you need no fresh proof) how utterly unworthy he is of you. You cannot, I am sure you cannot, regard it as a misfortune that all is over between you. Dearest Marian, do not cease to think of me as your friend because my brother has disgraced himself. If you can’t see me, at least let us write to each other. You are the only friend I have of my own sex, and I could not bear to lose you.’

‘I feel much more inclined to congratulate you than to regret what's happened. Now that we don’t need to keep quiet anymore, I’ll share something that will help you see Jasper for who he really is. A few weeks ago, he actually asked a woman to marry him, even though he doesn't love her at all, but she’s really rich and seemed silly enough to say yes. Yesterday morning, he got her final answer—a no. I'm not sure if I should have kept this from you, but I might have caused trouble by sharing it. You’ll understand (though I’m sure you don’t need more evidence) how completely unworthy he is of you. I’m certain you don’t see it as unfortunate that things are over between you. Dear Marian, please don’t stop considering me your friend just because my brother has embarrassed himself. If we can’t see each other, let’s at least keep in touch through letters. You’re my only female friend, and I couldn’t stand to lose you.’

And much more of the same tenor.

And a lot more of the same kind.

Several days passed before there came a reply. It was written with undisturbed kindness of feeling, but in few words.

Several days went by before a response arrived. It was written with a calm kindness, but it was very brief.

‘For the present we cannot see each other, but I am very far from wishing that our friendship should come to an end. I must only ask that you will write to me without the least reference to these troubles; tell me always about yourself, and be sure that you cannot tell me too much. I hope you may soon be able to send me the news which was foreshadowed in our last talk—though “foreshadowed” is a wrong word to use of coming happiness, isn’t it? That paper I sent to Mr Trenchard is accepted, and I shall be glad to have your criticism when it comes out; don’t spare my style, which needs a great deal of chastening. I have been thinking: couldn’t you use your holiday in Sark for a story? To judge from your letters, you could make an excellent background of word-painting.’

‘Right now we can't see each other, but I definitely don’t want our friendship to end. I just ask that you write to me without mentioning these issues; always share about yourself, and remember that you can never tell me too much. I hope you'll be able to send me the good news we hinted at in our last conversation—although “hinted” feels like the wrong word to describe upcoming happiness, doesn’t it? The paper I sent to Mr. Trenchard has been accepted, and I’d love to get your feedback once it’s published; feel free to be tough on my style, which needs a lot of polishing. I've been thinking: could you use your holiday in Sark for a story? From your letters, it seems you could create a fantastic backdrop with your writing.’

Dora sighed, and shook her little head, and thought of her brother with unspeakable disdain.

Dora sighed, shook her little head, and thought of her brother with incredible disdain.





CHAPTER XXXVII. REWARDS

When the fitting moment arrived, Alfred Yule underwent an operation for cataract, and it was believed at first that the result would be favourable. This hope had but short duration; though the utmost prudence was exercised, evil symptoms declared themselves, and in a few months’ time all prospect of restoring his vision was at an end. Anxiety, and then the fatal assurance, undermined his health; with blindness, there fell upon him the debility of premature old age.

When the right moment came, Alfred Yule had surgery for cataracts, and initially, it was thought that the outcome would be good. This hope didn't last long; despite taking every precaution, serious issues appeared, and within a few months, any chance of restoring his sight was gone. Stress, followed by the grim realization, took a toll on his health; alongside his blindness, he experienced the weakness of early old age.

The position of the family was desperate. Marian had suffered much all the winter from attacks of nervous disorder, and by no effort of will could she produce enough literary work to supplement adequately the income derived from her fifteen hundred pounds. In the summer of 1885 things were at the worst; Marian saw no alternative but to draw upon her capital, and so relieve the present at the expense of the future. She had a mournful warning before her eyes in the case of poor Hinks and his wife, who were now kept from the workhouse only by charity. But at this juncture the rescuer appeared. Mr Quarmby and certain of his friends were already making a subscription for the Yules’ benefit, when one of their number—Mr Jedwood, the publisher—came forward with a proposal which relieved the minds of all concerned. Mr Jedwood had a brother who was the director of a public library in a provincial town, and by this means he was enabled to offer Marian Yule a place as assistant in that institution; she would receive seventy-five pounds a year, and thus, adding her own income, would be able to put her parents beyond the reach of want. The family at once removed from London, and the name of Yule was no longer met with in periodical literature.

The family's situation was dire. Marian had struggled all winter with bouts of nervous disorder, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't produce enough writing to make up for the income from her fifteen hundred pounds. By the summer of 1885, things were at their lowest; Marian felt she had no choice but to dip into her savings to ease their current struggles, even if it meant sacrificing their future. She had a grim reminder of what could happen, looking at poor Hinks and his wife, who were only avoiding the workhouse through the kindness of others. Just then, help arrived. Mr. Quarmby and some of his friends were already gathering donations for the Yules’ support when one of them—Mr. Jedwood, the publisher—stepped forward with a solution that eased everyone's worries. Mr. Jedwood had a brother who ran a public library in a nearby town, allowing him to offer Marian Yule a position as an assistant there; she would earn seventy-five pounds a year, and combined with her own income, she could support her parents and keep them from hardship. The family quickly moved out of London, and the name Yule disappeared from periodical publications.

By an interesting coincidence, it was on the day of this departure that there appeared a number of The West End in which the place of honour, that of the week’s Celebrity, was occupied by Clement Fadge. A coloured portrait of this illustrious man challenged the admiration of all who had literary tastes, and two columns of panegyric recorded his career for the encouragement of aspiring youth. This article, of course unsigned, came from the pen of Jasper Milvain.

By a strange coincidence, it was on the day of this departure that a new issue of The West End came out, featuring Clement Fadge in the prominent position as the week’s Celebrity. A colored portrait of this notable man caught the attention of everyone with literary interests, and two columns of praise detailed his career to inspire young aspiring writers. This article, of course unsigned, was written by Jasper Milvain.

It was only by indirect channels that Jasper learnt how Marian and her parents had been provided for. Dora’s correspondence with her friend soon languished; in the nature of things this could not but happen; and about the time when Alfred Yule became totally blind the girls ceased to hear anything of each other. An event which came to pass in the spring sorely tempted Dora to write, but out of good feeling she refrained.

It was only through indirect means that Jasper found out how Marian and her parents were doing. Dora's letters to her friend eventually faded away; this was bound to happen. Around the time Alfred Yule became completely blind, the girls stopped hearing from each other. An event that occurred in the spring made Dora really want to write, but out of kindness, she held back.

For it was then that she at length decided to change her name for that of Whelpdale. Jasper could not quite reconcile himself to this condescension; in various discourses he pointed out to his sister how much higher she might look if she would only have a little patience.

For it was then that she finally decided to change her name to Whelpdale. Jasper couldn't quite accept this decision; in various conversations, he pointed out to his sister how much better she could present herself if only she would be a little more patient.

‘Whelpdale will never be a man of any note. A good fellow, I admit, but borne in all senses. Let me impress upon you, my dear girl, that I have a future before me, and that there is no reason—with your charm of person and mind—why you should not marry brilliantly. Whelpdale can give you a decent home, I admit, but as regards society he will be a drag upon you.’

‘Whelpdale will never be a person of any significance. He’s a decent guy, I’ll give you that, but lacking in so many ways. Let me emphasize to you, my dear girl, that I have a future ahead of me, and there’s no reason—with your charm and intelligence—that you shouldn’t marry someone remarkable. Whelpdale can provide you with a comfortable home, I’ll admit, but when it comes to social standing, he’ll hold you back.’

‘It happens, Jasper, that I have promised to marry him,’ replied Dora, in a significant tone.

‘It turns out, Jasper, that I’ve promised to marry him,’ replied Dora, in a meaningful tone.

‘Well, I regret it, but—you are of course your own mistress. I shall make no unpleasantness. I don’t dislike Whelpdale, and I shall remain on friendly terms with him.’

‘Well, I regret it, but—you are, of course, your own person. I won’t cause any trouble. I don’t dislike Whelpdale, and I’ll stay on good terms with him.’

‘That is very kind of you,’ said his sister suavely.

"That’s really nice of you," his sister said smoothly.

Whelpdale was frantic with exultation. When the day of the wedding had been settled, he rushed into Jasper’s study and fairly shed tears before he could command his voice.

Whelpdale was overwhelmed with joy. When the wedding date was set, he dashed into Jasper’s study and nearly cried before he could get his voice back.

‘There is no mortal on the surface of the globe one-tenth so happy as I am!’ he gasped. ‘I can’t believe it! Why in the name of sense and justice have I been suffered to attain this blessedness? Think of the days when I all but starved in my Albany Street garret, scarcely better off than poor, dear old Biffen! Why should I have come to this, and Biffen have poisoned himself in despair? He was a thousand times a better and cleverer fellow than I. And poor old Reardon, dead in misery! Could I for a moment compare with him?’

‘There’s no one on this planet even close to as happy as I am!’ he exclaimed. ‘I can’t believe it! Why on earth have I been allowed to experience this happiness? Think about the days when I nearly starved in my Albany Street attic, barely better off than the poor, dear Biffen! Why did I get to this point while Biffen ended up taking his own life in despair? He was a thousand times a better and smarter person than I am. And poor old Reardon, who died in misery! How could I even compare myself to him?’

‘My dear fellow,’ said Jasper, calmly, ‘compose yourself and be logical. In the first place, success has nothing whatever to do with moral deserts; and then, both Reardon and Biffen were hopelessly unpractical. In such an admirable social order as ours, they were bound to go to the dogs. Let us be sorry for them, but let us recognise causas rerum, as Biffen would have said. You have exercised ingenuity and perseverance; you have your reward.’

‘My dear friend,’ Jasper said calmly, ‘calm down and think clearly. In the first place, success has nothing to do with moral deserving; and besides, both Reardon and Biffen were completely impractical. In such a remarkable society like ours, they were destined to fail. Let’s feel sorry for them, but let's acknowledge causas rerum, as Biffen would say. You’ve shown creativity and persistence; you have your reward.’

‘And when I think that I might have married fatally on thirteen or fourteen different occasions. By-the-by, I implore you never to tell Dora those stories about me. I should lose all her respect. Do you remember the girl from Birmingham?’ He laughed wildly. ‘Heaven be praised that she threw me over! Eternal gratitude to all and sundry of the girls who have plunged me into wretchedness!’

‘And when I think that I might have married disastrously on thirteen or fourteen different occasions. By the way, I really need you to never tell Dora those stories about me. I’d lose all her respect. Do you remember the girl from Birmingham?’ He laughed uncontrollably. ‘Thank goodness she dumped me! I’m eternally grateful to all the girls who have driven me into misery!’

‘I admit that you have run the gauntlet, and that you have had marvellous escapes. But be good enough to leave me alone for the present. I must finish this review by midday.’

‘I admit that you’ve been through a lot, and that you’ve had some incredible close calls. But please leave me alone for now. I need to finish this review by noon.’

‘Only one word. I don’t know how to thank Dora, how to express my infinite sense of her goodness. Will you try to do so for me? You can speak to her with calmness. Will you tell her what I have said to you?’

‘Only one word. I don’t know how to thank Dora, how to express my endless gratitude for her kindness. Can you try to do that for me? You can talk to her calmly. Will you tell her what I’ve said to you?’

‘Oh, certainly.—I should recommend a cooling draught of some kind. Look in at a chemist’s as you walk on.’

‘Oh, sure.—I’d suggest a refreshing drink of some sort. Stop by a pharmacy as you continue on.’

The heavens did not fall before the marriage-day, and the wedded pair betook themselves for a few weeks to the Continent. They had been back again and established in their house at Earl’s Court for a month, when one morning about twelve o’clock Jasper dropped in, as though casually. Dora was writing; she had no thought of entirely abandoning literature, and had in hand at present a very pretty tale which would probably appear in The English Girl. Her boudoir, in which she sat, could not well have been daintier and more appropriate to the charming characteristics of its mistress.

The sky didn't fall before the wedding day, and the newlyweds went on a short trip to the Continent. They had been back and settled in their house at Earl’s Court for a month when one morning around noon, Jasper casually stopped by. Dora was writing; she had no intention of quitting literature for good and was currently working on a lovely story that would likely be published in The English Girl. Her boudoir, where she was sitting, couldn't have been more delicate and fitting for the lovely qualities of its owner.

Mrs Whelpdale affected no literary slovenliness; she was dressed in light colours, and looked so lovely that even Jasper paused on the threshold with a smile of admiration.

Mrs. Whelpdale showed no signs of being messy about her appearance; she was dressed in light colors and looked so beautiful that even Jasper hesitated at the door with a smile of admiration.

‘Upon my word,’ he exclaimed, ‘I am proud of my sisters! What did you think of Maud last night? Wasn’t she superb?’

‘Honestly,’ he exclaimed, ‘I’m so proud of my sisters! What did you think of Maud last night? Wasn’t she amazing?’

‘She certainly did look very well. But I doubt if she’s very happy.’

‘She definitely looked great. But I’m not sure she’s really happy.’

‘That is her own look out; I told her plainly enough my opinion of Dolomore. But she was in such a tremendous hurry.’

‘That's her problem; I made my opinion about Dolomore pretty clear to her. But she was just in such a crazy rush.’

‘You are detestable, Jasper! Is it inconceivable to you that a man or woman should be disinterested when they marry?’

‘You’re disgusting, Jasper! Can you not imagine that a person might be indifferent when they get married?’

‘By no means.’

‘Not at all.’

‘Maud didn’t marry for money any more than I did.’

‘Maud didn’t marry for money any more than I did.’

‘You remember the Northern Farmer: “Doan’t thou marry for money, but go where money is.” An admirable piece of advice. Well, Maud made a mistake, let us say. Dolomore is a clown, and now she knows it. Why, if she had waited, she might have married one of the leading men of the day. She is fit to be a duchess, as far as appearance goes; but I was never snobbish. I care very little about titles; what I look to is intellectual distinction.’

'You remember the Northern Farmer: “Don’t marry for money, but go where money is.” That’s great advice. Well, Maud made a mistake, let’s put it that way. Dolomore is a fool, and now she realizes it. Honestly, if she had waited, she could have married one of the top guys of the time. She looks like she could be a duchess; but I've never been snobbish. I really don’t care much about titles; what matters to me is intellectual distinction.'

‘Combined with financial success.’

‘Along with financial success.’

‘Why, that is what distinction means.’ He looked round the room with a smile. ‘You are not uncomfortable here, old girl. I wish mother could have lived till now.’

‘That’s what distinction means.’ He glanced around the room with a smile. ‘You’re not uncomfortable here, old girl. I wish my mother could have lived to see this.’

‘I wish it very, very often,’ Dora replied in a moved voice.

"I wish that a lot," Dora replied in a touched voice.

‘We haven’t done badly, drawbacks considered. Now, you may speak of money as scornfully as you like; but suppose you had married a man who could only keep you in lodgings! How would life look to you?’

‘We haven’t done badly, considering the setbacks. Now, you can talk about money with all the disdain you want; but what if you had married a man who could only afford to keep you in a rented place? How would life seem to you?’

‘Who ever disputed the value of money? But there are things one mustn’t sacrifice to gain it.’

‘Who has ever questioned the value of money? But there are things you shouldn’t sacrifice to get it.’

‘I suppose so. Well, I have some news for you, Dora. I am thinking of following your example.’

‘I guess so. Well, I have some news for you, Dora. I'm thinking of following your lead.’

Dora’s face changed to grave anticipation.

Dora’s face shifted to serious anticipation.

‘And who is it?’

"Who is it?"

‘Amy Reardon.’

'Amy Reardon.'

His sister turned away, with a look of intense annoyance.

His sister turned away, looking seriously annoyed.

‘You see, I am disinterested myself,’ he went on. ‘I might find a wife who had wealth and social standing. But I choose Amy deliberately.’

‘You see, I'm not interested in that myself,’ he continued. ‘I could find a wife with wealth and social status. But I deliberately choose Amy.’

‘An abominable choice!’

‘A terrible choice!’

‘No; an excellent choice. I have never yet met a woman so well fitted to aid me in my career. She has a trifling sum of money, which will be useful for the next year or two—’

‘No; that's an excellent choice. I have never met a woman so well-suited to help me in my career. She has a small amount of money, which will be useful for the next year or two—’

‘What has she done with the rest of it, then?’

‘What has she done with the rest of it, then?’

‘Oh, the ten thousand is intact, but it can’t be seriously spoken of. It will keep up appearances till I get my editorship and so on. We shall be married early in August, I think. I want to ask you if you will go and see her.’

‘Oh, the ten thousand is fine, but it can't be taken seriously. It'll keep up appearances until I get my editorship and all that. I think we'll get married in early August. I want to ask if you could go and see her.’

‘On no account! I couldn’t be civil to her.’

‘No way! I couldn’t be nice to her.’

Jasper’s brows blackened.

Jasper's brows furrowed.

‘This is idiotic prejudice, Dora. I think I have some claim upon you; I have shown some kindness—’

‘This is ridiculous bias, Dora. I believe I have some right to your attention; I have shown you some kindness—’

‘You have, and I am not ungrateful. But I dislike Mrs Reardon, and I couldn’t bring myself to be friendly with her.’

‘You have, and I’m not ungrateful. But I really don’t like Mrs. Reardon, and I just can’t bring myself to be friendly with her.’

‘You don’t know her.’

"You don't know her."

‘Too well. You yourself have taught me to know her. Don’t compel me to say what I think of her.’

‘Too well. You’ve taught me to understand her. Don’t force me to say what I think of her.’

‘She is beautiful, and high-minded, and warm-hearted. I don’t know a womanly quality that she doesn’t possess. You will offend me most seriously if you speak a word against her.’

‘She is beautiful, intelligent, and kind. I can't think of a single feminine quality that she lacks. You will deeply offend me if you say anything negative about her.’

‘Then I will be silent. But you must never ask me to meet her.’

‘Then I’ll keep quiet. But you can’t ever ask me to meet her.’

‘Never?’

‘Never?’

‘Never!’

"Not a chance!"

‘Then we shall quarrel. I haven’t deserved this, Dora. If you refuse to meet my wife on terms of decent friendliness, there’s no more intercourse between your house and mine. You have to choose. Persist in this fatuous obstinacy, and I have done with you!’

‘Then we’re going to argue. I don’t deserve this, Dora. If you won’t meet my wife with any kind of decency and friendliness, then there will be no more interaction between our families. You have to make a choice. Keep being this stubborn, and I’m done with you!’

‘So be it!’

"Fine by me!"

‘That is your final answer?’

"Is that your final answer?"

Dora, who was now as angry as he, gave a short affirmative, and Jasper at once left her.

Dora, just as angry as he was, gave a quick yes, and Jasper immediately walked away from her.

But it was very unlikely that things should rest at this pass. The brother and sister were bound by a strong mutual affection, and Whelpdale was not long in effecting a compromise.

But it was very unlikely that things would stay like this. The brother and sister had a strong bond, and Whelpdale quickly managed to come to a compromise.

‘My dear wife,’ he exclaimed, in despair at the threatened calamity, ‘you are right, a thousand times, but it’s impossible for you to be on ill terms with Jasper. There’s no need for you to see much of Mrs Reardon—’

‘My dear wife,’ he exclaimed, in despair at the impending disaster, ‘you’re a thousand times right, but it’s impossible for you to be at odds with Jasper. You don’t need to see much of Mrs. Reardon—’

‘I hate her! She killed her husband; I am sure of it.’

‘I hate her! She killed her husband; I’m sure of it.’

‘My darling!’

"My love!"

‘I mean by her base conduct. She is a cold, cruel, unprincipled creature! Jasper makes himself more than ever contemptible by marrying her.’

‘I mean by her low behavior. She is a cold, cruel, unprincipled person! Jasper makes himself more detestable than ever by marrying her.’

All the same, in less than three weeks Mrs Whelpdale had called upon Amy, and the call was returned. The two women were perfectly conscious of reciprocal dislike, but they smothered the feeling beneath conventional suavities. Jasper was not backward in making known his gratitude for Dora’s concession, and indeed it became clear to all his intimates that this marriage would be by no means one of mere interest; the man was in love at last, if he had never been before.

All the same, in less than three weeks Mrs. Whelpdale had visited Amy, and the visit was reciprocated. The two women were fully aware of their mutual dislike, but they hid their feelings behind polite niceties. Jasper wasted no time expressing his gratitude for Dora’s concession, and it soon became obvious to all his close friends that this marriage would not be just a matter of convenience; the man was genuinely in love at last, if he hadn’t been before.

Let lapse the ensuing twelve months, and come to an evening at the end of July, 1886. Mr and Mrs Milvain are entertaining a small and select party of friends at dinner. Their house in Bayswater is neither large nor internally magnificent, but it will do very well for the temporary sojourn of a young man of letters who has much greater things in confident expectation, who is a good deal talked of, who can gather clever and worthy people at his table, and whose matchless wife would attract men of taste to a very much poorer abode.

Let’s fast forward to the evening at the end of July 1886. Mr. and Mrs. Milvain are hosting a small, exclusive dinner party for friends. Their house in Bayswater isn’t large or particularly grand inside, but it’s just fine for the short stay of a young writer with high hopes, someone who is quite talked about, who can invite smart and admirable people to his table, and whose remarkable wife could draw in discerning guests to an even much simpler home.

Jasper had changed considerably in appearance since that last holiday that he spent in his mother’s house at Finden. At present he would have been taken for five-and-thirty, though only in his twenty-ninth year; his hair was noticeably thinning; his moustache had grown heavier; a wrinkle or two showed beneath his eyes; his voice was softer, yet firmer. It goes without saying that his evening uniform lacked no point of perfection, and somehow it suggested a more elaborate care than that of other men in the room. He laughed frequently, and with a throwing back of the head which seemed to express a spirit of triumph.

Jasper had changed a lot in appearance since that last holiday he spent at his mom's house in Finden. Right now, he could easily be mistaken for thirty-five, even though he was only twenty-nine; his hair was noticeably thinning, his mustache had grown thicker, and there were a couple of wrinkles appearing under his eyes. His voice was softer yet more assertive. It goes without saying that his evening outfit was perfectly put together, and somehow it suggested he cared more about his appearance than the other guys in the room. He laughed often, with his head tossed back in a way that seemed to convey a sense of triumph.

Amy looked her years to the full, but her type of beauty, as you know, was independent of youthfulness. That suspicion of masculinity observable in her when she became Reardon’s wife impressed one now only as the consummate grace of a perfectly-built woman. You saw that at forty, at fifty, she would be one of the stateliest of dames. When she bent her head towards the person with whom she spoke, it was an act of queenly favour. Her words were uttered with just enough deliberation to give them the value of an opinion; she smiled with a delicious shade of irony; her glance intimated that nothing could be too subtle for her understanding.

Amy looked her age completely, but her kind of beauty, as you know, didn't rely on being young. The hint of masculinity you noticed in her when she became Reardon’s wife now struck you as the perfect elegance of a beautifully proportioned woman. You could tell that at forty or fifty, she would be one of the most impressive of women. When she leaned her head towards the person she was speaking to, it felt like a royal gesture. She spoke with just enough thoughtfulness to make her words seem like a well-considered opinion; her smile had a delightful touch of irony; her gaze suggested that nothing was too nuanced for her to understand.

The guests numbered six, and no one of them was insignificant. Two of the men were about Jasper’s age, and they had already made their mark in literature; the third was a novelist of circulating fame, spirally crescent. The three of the stronger sex were excellent modern types, with sweet lips attuned to epigram, and good broad brows.

The guests totaled six, and none of them were unimportant. Two of the men were about Jasper’s age and had already made a name for themselves in literature; the third was a well-known novelist. The three men were all great modern examples, with charming smiles ready for witty remarks and solid, broad foreheads.

The novelist at one point put an interesting question to Amy.

The novelist at one point asked Amy an interesting question.

‘Is it true that Fadge is leaving The Current?’

‘Is it true that Fadge is leaving The Current?’

‘It is rumoured, I believe.’

"I've heard rumors about that."

‘Going to one of the quarterlies, they say,’ remarked a lady. ‘He is getting terribly autocratic. Have you heard the delightful story of his telling Mr Rowland to persevere, as his last work was one of considerable promise?’

‘Going to one of the quarterly meetings, they say,’ said a lady. ‘He is becoming incredibly bossy. Have you heard the amusing story about him telling Mr. Rowland to keep going, since his last work showed a lot of potential?’

Mr Rowland was a man who had made a merited reputation when Fadge was still on the lower rungs of journalism. Amy smiled and told another anecdote of the great editor. Whilst speaking, she caught her husband’s eye, and perhaps this was the reason why her story, at the close, seemed rather amiably pointless—not a common fault when she narrated.

Mr. Rowland was a man who had earned a well-deserved reputation when Fadge was still just starting out in journalism. Amy smiled and shared another story about the great editor. While she spoke, she caught her husband’s eye, and maybe that’s why her story seemed kind of endearingly pointless at the end—not something that usually happened when she told a story.

When the ladies had withdrawn, one of the younger men, in a conversation about a certain magazine, remarked:

When the women had left, one of the younger guys, while talking about a certain magazine, said:

‘Thomas always maintains that it was killed by that solemn old stager, Alfred Yule. By the way, he is dead himself, I hear.’

‘Thomas always insists that it was killed by that serious old timer, Alfred Yule. By the way, I hear he has passed away himself.’

Jasper bent forward.

Jasper leaned forward.

‘Alfred Yule is dead?’

"Alfred Yule is dead?"

‘So Jedwood told me this morning. He died in the country somewhere, blind and fallen on evil days, poor old fellow.’

‘So Jedwood told me this morning. He died in the countryside somewhere, blind and having fallen on hard times, poor old guy.’

All the guests were ignorant of any tie of kindred between their host and the man spoken of.

All the guests were unaware of any family connection between their host and the man being talked about.

‘I believe,’ said the novelist, ‘that he had a clever daughter who used to do all the work he signed. That used to be a current bit of scandal in Fadge’s circle.’

‘I believe,’ said the novelist, ‘that he had a smart daughter who used to do all the work he claimed as his own. That used to be a common piece of gossip in Fadge’s circle.’

‘Oh, there was much exaggeration in that,’ remarked Jasper, blandly. ‘His daughter assisted him, doubtless, but in quite a legitimate way. One used to see her at the Museum.’

‘Oh, there was a lot of exaggeration in that,’ said Jasper casually. ‘His daughter helped him, of course, but it was completely legitimate. You would often see her at the Museum.’

The subject was dropped.

The topic was dropped.

An hour and a half later, when the last stranger had taken his leave, Jasper examined two or three letters which had arrived since dinner-time and were lying on the hall table. With one of them open in his hand, he suddenly sprang up the stairs and leaped, rather than stepped, into the drawing-room. Amy was reading an evening paper.

An hour and a half later, after the last stranger had left, Jasper looked through two or three letters that had arrived since dinner and were on the hall table. With one of them open in his hand, he suddenly jumped up the stairs and leaped into the drawing-room. Amy was reading an evening paper.

‘Look at this!’ he cried, holding the letter to her.

‘Look at this!’ he shouted, holding the letter up to her.

It was a communication from the publishers who owned The Current; they stated that the editorship of that review would shortly be resigned by Mr Fadge, and they inquired whether Milvain would feel disposed to assume the vacant chair.

It was a message from the publishers of The Current; they stated that Mr. Fadge would soon be stepping down as editor of the review, and they asked if Milvain would be interested in taking the position.

Amy sprang up and threw her arms about her husband’s neck, uttering a cry of delight.

Amy jumped up and wrapped her arms around her husband's neck, letting out a happy cry.

‘So soon! Oh, this is great! this is glorious!’

‘So soon! Oh, this is amazing! this is fantastic!’

‘Do you think this would have been offered to me but for the spacious life we have led of late? Never! Was I right in my calculations, Amy?’

‘Do you think this would have been given to me if it weren’t for the comfortable life we’ve been living lately? Never! Was I correct in my calculations, Amy?’

‘Did I ever doubt it?’

‘Did I ever question it?’

He returned her embrace ardently, and gazed into her eyes with profound tenderness.

He hugged her back passionately and looked into her eyes with deep affection.

‘Doesn’t the future brighten?’

"Isn't the future looking bright?"

‘It has been very bright to me, Jasper, since I became your wife.’

‘It has been really wonderful for me, Jasper, since I became your wife.’

‘And I owe my fortune to you, dear girl. Now the way is smooth!’

‘And I owe my fortune to you, dear girl. Now the path is clear!’

They placed themselves on a settee, Jasper with an arm about his wife’s waist, as if they were newly plighted lovers. When they had talked for a long time, Milvain said in a changed tone:

They sat down on a couch, Jasper wrapping an arm around his wife's waist, as if they were newly engaged lovers. After chatting for a while, Milvain said in a different tone:

‘I am told that your uncle is dead.’

‘I heard that your uncle passed away.’

He mentioned how the news had reached him.

He talked about how he heard the news.

‘I must make inquiries to-morrow. I suppose there will be a notice in The Study and some of the other papers. I hope somebody will make it an opportunity to have a hit at that ruffian Fadge. By-the-by, it doesn’t much matter now how you speak of Fadge; but I was a trifle anxious when I heard your story at dinner.’

‘I need to ask around tomorrow. I guess there’ll be a notice in The Study and some of the other papers. I hope someone will take the chance to take a shot at that thug Fadge. By the way, it doesn’t really matter anymore how you refer to Fadge; but I was a bit concerned when I heard your story at dinner.’

‘Oh, you can afford to be more independent.—What are you thinking about?’

‘Oh, you can be more independent.—What’s on your mind?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Nope.’

‘Why do you look sad?—Yes, I know, I know. I’ll try to forgive you.’

‘Why do you look so sad?—Yeah, I get it, I get it. I’ll try to forgive you.’

‘I can’t help thinking at times of the poor girl, Amy. Life will be easier for her now, with only her mother to support. Someone spoke of her this evening, and repeated Fadge’s lie that she used to do all her father’s writing.’

‘I can’t help thinking at times about the poor girl, Amy. Life will be easier for her now, with just her mother to support her. Someone mentioned her this evening and repeated Fadge’s lie that she used to do all her father’s writing.’

‘She was capable of doing it. I must seem to you rather a poor-brained woman in comparison. Isn’t it true?’

‘She could definitely do it. I probably seem like a pretty clueless woman compared to her. Isn’t that right?’

‘My dearest, you are a perfect woman, and poor Marian was only a clever school-girl. Do you know, I never could help imagining that she had ink-stains on her fingers. Heaven forbid that I should say it unkindly! It was touching to me at the time, for I knew how fearfully hard she worked.’

‘My dearest, you are a perfect woman, and poor Marian was just a smart school-girl. You know, I always pictured her with ink stains on her fingers. I hope that doesn't sound mean! It was moving to me back then, because I knew how incredibly hard she worked.’

‘She nearly ruined your life; remember that.’

‘She almost ruined your life; keep that in mind.’

Jasper was silent.

Jasper didn't say anything.

‘You will never confess it, and that is a fault in you.’

‘You will never admit it, and that is a flaw in you.’

‘She loved me, Amy.’

"She loved me, Amy."

‘Perhaps! as a school-girl loves. But you never loved her.’

‘Maybe! like a school-girl loves. But you never loved her.’

‘No.’

‘No.’

Amy examined his face as he spoke.

Amy studied his face as he talked.

‘Her image is very faint before me,’ Jasper pursued, ‘and soon I shall scarcely be able to recall it. Yes, you are right; she nearly ruined me. And in more senses than one. Poverty and struggle, under such circumstances, would have made me a detestable creature. As it is, I am not such a bad fellow, Amy.’

‘Her image is very faint in my mind,’ Jasper continued, ‘and soon I won’t be able to remember it at all. Yes, you’re right; she almost destroyed me. And in more ways than one. Poverty and struggling, under those circumstances, would have turned me into a horrible person. As it is, I’m not such a bad guy, Amy.’

She laughed, and caressed his cheek.

She laughed and stroked his cheek.

‘No, I am far from a bad fellow. I feel kindly to everyone who deserves it. I like to be generous, in word and deed. Trust me, there’s many a man who would like to be generous, but is made despicably mean by necessity. What a true sentence that is of Landor’s: “It has been repeated often enough that vice leads to misery; will no man declare that misery leads to vice?” I have much of the weakness that might become viciousness, but I am now far from the possibility of being vicious. Of course there are men, like Fadge, who seem only to grow meaner the more prosperous they are; but these are exceptions. Happiness is the nurse of virtue.’

‘No, I’m definitely not a bad person. I feel a sense of kindness toward everyone who deserves it. I like to be generous, both in words and actions. Believe me, there are plenty of guys who would love to be generous, but they’re forced into being really stingy because of their circumstances. That’s a true statement from Landor: “It’s been said often enough that vice leads to misery; will no one admit that misery leads to vice?” I have some of the weakness that could turn into viciousness, but I’m currently far from being vicious. Of course, there are men, like Fadge, who seem to get meaner the more successful they become; but those are exceptions. Happiness nurtures virtue.’

‘And independence the root of happiness.’

‘And independence is the foundation of happiness.’

‘True. “The glorious privilege of being independent”—yes, Burns understood the matter. Go to the piano, dear, and play me something. If I don’t mind, I shall fall into Whelpdale’s vein, and talk about my “blessedness”. Ha! isn’t the world a glorious place?’

‘True. “The amazing privilege of being independent”—yes, Burns understood that. Go to the piano, dear, and play something for me. If I don't watch out, I’ll start talking like Whelpdale and go on about my “blessedness”. Ha! Isn’t the world a wonderful place?’

‘For rich people.’

"For wealthy individuals."

‘Yes, for rich people. How I pity the poor devils!—Play anything. Better still if you will sing, my nightingale!’

‘Yes, for rich people. I really feel sorry for the poor souls!—Just play anything. Even better if you’ll sing, my nightingale!’

So Amy first played and then sang, and Jasper lay back in dreamy bliss.

So Amy played first and then sang, while Jasper relaxed in dreamy bliss.


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