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THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP


BY

CHRISTOPHER MORLEY




TO THE BOOKSELLERS

Be pleased to know, most worthy, that this little book is dedicated to you in affection and respect.

Be happy to know, my dear friend, that this little book is dedicated to you with love and respect.

The faults of the composition are plain to you all. I begin merely in the hope of saying something further of the adventures of ROGER MIFFLIN, whose exploits in "Parnassus on Wheels" some of you have been kind enough to applaud. But then came Miss Titania Chapman, and my young advertising man fell in love with her, and the two of them rather ran away with the tale.

The issues with the piece are obvious to all of you. I’m starting just hoping to share more about the adventures of ROGER MIFFLIN, whose exploits in "Parnassus on Wheels" some of you have kindly praised. But then Miss Titania Chapman showed up, and my young advertising guy fell for her, and the two of them pretty much took over the story.

I think I should explain that the passage in Chapter VIII, dealing with the delightful talent of Mr. Sidney Drew, was written before the lamented death of that charming artist. But as it was a sincere tribute, sincerely meant, I have seen no reason for removing it.

I think I should clarify that the section in Chapter VIII, about the wonderful talent of Mr. Sidney Drew, was written before the sad passing of that talented artist. But since it was a heartfelt tribute, genuinely intended, I haven't found any reason to take it out.

Chapters I, II, III, and VI appeared originally in The Bookman, and to the editor of that admirable magazine I owe thanks for his permission to reprint.

Chapters I, II, III, and VI were initially published in The Bookman, and I’m grateful to the editor of that wonderful magazine for allowing me to reprint them.

Now that Roger is to have ten Parnassuses on the road, I am emboldened to think that some of you may encounter them on their travels. And if you do, I hope you will find that these new errants of the Parnassus on Wheels Corporation are living up to the ancient and honourable traditions of our noble profession.

Now that Roger is going to have ten Parnassuses on the road, I'm confident that some of you might run into them during their travels. And if you do, I hope you’ll see that these new travelers from the Parnassus on Wheels Corporation are honoring the long-standing and respected traditions of our great profession.

CHRISTOPHER MORLEY.

Philadelphia,
    April 28, 1919

CHRISTOPHER MORLEY.

Philadelphia,
    April 28, 1919




CONTENTS

Chapter  
I   The Haunted Bookshop
II   The Corn Cob Club[1]
III   Titania Arrives
IV   The Disappearing Volume
V   Aubrey Walks Part Way Home—and Rides The Rest of the Way
VI   Titania Learns the Business
VII   Aubrey Takes Lodgings
VIII   Aubrey Goes to the Movies, and Wishes he Knew More German
IX   Again the Narrative is Retarded
X   Roger Raids the Ice-Box
XI   Titania Tries Reading in Bed
XII   Aubrey Determines to give Service that's Different
XIII   The Battle of Ludlow Street
XIV   The "Cromwell" Makes its Last Appearance
XV   Mr. Chapman Waves His Wand



The Haunted Bookshop


Chapter I

The Haunted Bookshop

If you are ever in Brooklyn, that borough of superb sunsets and magnificent vistas of husband-propelled baby-carriages, it is to be hoped you may chance upon a quiet by-street where there is a very remarkable bookshop.

If you ever find yourself in Brooklyn, that neighborhood known for its stunning sunsets and beautiful views filled with stroller-pushing parents, I hope you come across a quiet side street where there's a truly amazing bookstore.

This bookshop, which does business under the unusual name "Parnassus at Home," is housed in one of the comfortable old brown-stone dwellings which have been the joy of several generations of plumbers and cockroaches. The owner of the business has been at pains to remodel the house to make it a more suitable shrine for his trade, which deals entirely in second-hand volumes. There is no second-hand bookshop in the world more worthy of respect.

This bookshop, operating under the unique name "Parnassus at Home," is located in a cozy old brownstone that has long been a source of happiness for generations of plumbers and cockroaches. The owner has worked hard to renovate the house, turning it into a fitting tribute to his business, which specializes in second-hand books. There’s no second-hand bookstore anywhere more deserving of respect.

It was about six o'clock of a cold November evening, with gusts of rain splattering upon the pavement, when a young man proceeded uncertainly along Gissing Street, stopping now and then to look at shop windows as though doubtful of his way. At the warm and shining face of a French rotisserie he halted to compare the number enamelled on the transom with a memorandum in his hand. Then he pushed on for a few minutes, at last reaching the address he sought. Over the entrance his eye was caught by the sign:

It was around six o'clock on a chilly November evening, with rain blowing against the pavement, when a young man walked hesitantly along Gissing Street, pausing occasionally to check out shop windows as if unsure of his directions. He stopped in front of a bright French rotisserie to match the number on the transom with a note in his hand. After a few more minutes, he finally arrived at his destination. Above the entrance, he noticed the sign:


PARNASSUS AT HOME
R. AND H. MIFFLIN
BOOKLOVERS WELCOME!
THIS SHOP IS HAUNTED


He stumbled down the three steps that led into the dwelling of the muses, lowered his overcoat collar, and looked about.

He tripped down the three steps that led into the home of the muses, adjusted his coat collar, and glanced around.

It was very different from such bookstores as he had been accustomed to patronize. Two stories of the old house had been thrown into one: the lower space was divided into little alcoves; above, a gallery ran round the wall, which carried books to the ceiling. The air was heavy with the delightful fragrance of mellowed paper and leather surcharged with a strong bouquet of tobacco. In front of him he found a large placard in a frame:

It was nothing like the bookstores he was used to visiting. Two levels of the old house had been combined into one: the lower area was filled with small nooks; above, a walkway encircled the room, reaching up to the ceiling lined with books. The air was thick with the wonderful scent of aged paper and leather, mixed with a strong hint of tobacco. In front of him, he saw a large sign in a frame:


     THIS SHOP IS HAUNTED by the ghosts
     Of all great literature, in hosts;

     We sell no fakes or trashes.
     Lovers of books are welcome here,
     No clerks will babble in your ear,

     Please smoke--but don't drop ashes!
                             ----
     Browse as long as you like.
     Prices of all books plainly marked.
     If you want to ask questions, you'll find the proprietor
           where the tobacco smoke is thickest.
     We pay cash for books.
     We have what you want, though you may not know you want it.

          Malnutrition of the reading faculty is a serious thing.

     Let us prescribe for you.

     By R. & H. MIFFLIN,
                                     Proprs.
     THIS SHOP IS HAUNTED by the spirits
     Of all great literature, in droves;

     We sell no fakes or junk.
     Book lovers are welcome here,
     No clerks will chatter in your ear,

     Feel free to smoke—but don’t drop ashes!
                             ----
     Browse as long as you want.
     Prices of all books clearly marked.
     If you have questions, you’ll find the owner
           where the tobacco smoke is thickest.
     We pay cash for books.
     We have what you want, even if you don’t know it yet.

          Malnutrition of the reading mind is a serious issue.

     Let us prescribe for you.

     By R. & H. MIFFLIN,
                                     Proprs.

The shop had a warm and comfortable obscurity, a kind of drowsy dusk, stabbed here and there by bright cones of yellow light from green-shaded electrics. There was an all-pervasive drift of tobacco smoke, which eddied and fumed under the glass lamp shades. Passing down a narrow aisle between the alcoves the visitor noticed that some of the compartments were wholly in darkness; in others where lamps were glowing he could see a table and chairs. In one corner, under a sign lettered ESSAYS, an elderly gentleman was reading, with a face of fanatical ecstasy illumined by the sharp glare of electricity; but there was no wreath of smoke about him so the newcomer concluded he was not the proprietor.

The shop had a cozy and comfortable dimness, a kind of sleepy twilight, occasionally pierced by bright yellow light from green-shaded lamps. A consistent haze of tobacco smoke drifted and curled under the glass lamp shades. As the visitor strolled down a narrow aisle between the alcoves, he noticed that some of the spaces were completely dark; in others, where lamps were lit, he could see a table and chairs. In one corner, beneath a sign that read ESSAYS, an older man was reading, his face glowing with fanatical joy from the harsh light of the bulb; but there was no cloud of smoke around him, so the newcomer figured he wasn’t the owner.

As the young man approached the back of the shop the general effect became more and more fantastic. On some skylight far overhead he could hear the rain drumming; but otherwise the place was completely silent, peopled only (so it seemed) by the gurgitating whorls of smoke and the bright profile of the essay reader. It seemed like a secret fane, some shrine of curious rites, and the young man's throat was tightened by a stricture which was half agitation and half tobacco. Towering above him into the gloom were shelves and shelves of books, darkling toward the roof. He saw a table with a cylinder of brown paper and twine, evidently where purchases might be wrapped; but there was no sign of an attendant.

As the young man walked to the back of the shop, the atmosphere became more and more surreal. He could hear the rain tapping on a skylight far above, but otherwise, the place was completely quiet, seemingly inhabited only by the swirling smoke and the bright outline of the essay reader. It felt like a hidden sanctuary, a shrine for mysterious rituals, and the young man felt a tightness in his throat that was both anxious and tobacco-related. Looming above him in the dim light were shelves and shelves of books, darkening toward the ceiling. He noticed a table with a roll of brown paper and twine, clearly where purchases could be wrapped, but there was no sign of any attendant.

"This place may indeed be haunted," he thought, "perhaps by the delighted soul of Sir Walter Raleigh, patron of the weed, but seemingly not by the proprietors."

"This place might actually be haunted," he thought, "maybe by the joyful spirit of Sir Walter Raleigh, the champion of tobacco, but clearly not by the owners."

His eyes, searching the blue and vaporous vistas of the shop, were caught by a circle of brightness that shone with a curious egg-like lustre. It was round and white, gleaming in the sheen of a hanging light, a bright island in a surf of tobacco smoke. He came more close, and found it was a bald head.

His eyes, scanning the blue and misty views of the shop, were drawn to a circle of brightness that had an unusual egg-like shine. It was round and white, shining under a hanging light, a bright spot amidst the swirling tobacco smoke. He moved in closer and realized it was a bald head.

This head (he then saw) surmounted a small, sharp-eyed man who sat tilted back in a swivel chair, in a corner which seemed the nerve centre of the establishment. The large pigeon-holed desk in front of him was piled high with volumes of all sorts, with tins of tobacco and newspaper clippings and letters. An antiquated typewriter, looking something like a harpsichord, was half-buried in sheets of manuscript. The little bald-headed man was smoking a corn-cob pipe and reading a cook-book.

This head (he then saw) belonged to a small, sharp-eyed man who sat tilted back in a swivel chair, in a corner that seemed to be the nerve center of the place. The large desk in front of him was stacked high with all sorts of books, tins of tobacco, newspaper clippings, and letters. An old-fashioned typewriter, resembling a harpsichord, was half-buried in sheets of manuscript. The little bald man was smoking a corn-cob pipe and reading a cookbook.

"I beg your pardon," said the caller, pleasantly; "is this the proprietor?"

"I’m sorry to bother you," said the caller, cheerfully; "is this the owner?"

Mr. Roger Mifflin, the proprietor of "Parnassus at Home," looked up, and the visitor saw that he had keen blue eyes, a short red beard, and a convincing air of competent originality.

Mr. Roger Mifflin, the owner of "Parnassus at Home," looked up, and the visitor saw that he had sharp blue eyes, a short red beard, and an undeniable vibe of capable originality.

"It is," said Mr. Mifflin. "Anything I can do for you?"

"It is," Mr. Mifflin said. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"My name is Aubrey Gilbert," said the young man. "I am representing the Grey-Matter Advertising Agency. I want to discuss with you the advisability of your letting us handle your advertising account, prepare snappy copy for you, and place it in large circulation mediums. Now the war's over, you ought to prepare some constructive campaign for bigger business."

"My name is Aubrey Gilbert," said the young man. "I'm with the Grey-Matter Advertising Agency. I want to talk to you about the possibility of us managing your advertising account, writing engaging copy for you, and placing it in widely circulated media. Now that the war is over, you should start planning a solid campaign for increased business."

The bookseller's face beamed. He put down his cook-book, blew an expanding gust of smoke, and looked up brightly.

The bookseller's face lit up. He set down his cookbook, exhaled a puff of smoke, and looked up cheerfully.

"My dear chap," he said, "I don't do any advertising."

"My dear man," he said, "I don't do any advertising."

"Impossible!" cried the other, aghast as at some gratuitous indecency.

"Unbelievable!" exclaimed the other, shocked as if witnessing something completely inappropriate.

"Not in the sense you mean. Such advertising as benefits me most is done for me by the snappiest copywriters in the business."

"Not in the way you're thinking. The kind of advertising that helps me the most is created by the most creative copywriters in the industry."

"I suppose you refer to Whitewash and Gilt?" said Mr. Gilbert wistfully.

"I guess you're talking about Whitewash and Gilt?" Mr. Gilbert said with a hint of nostalgia.

"Not at all. The people who are doing my advertising are Stevenson, Browning, Conrad and Company."

"Not at all. The people handling my advertising are Stevenson, Browning, Conrad and Company."

"Dear me," said the Grey-Matter solicitor. "I don't know that agency at all. Still, I doubt if their copy has more pep than ours."

"Wow," said the Grey-Matter lawyer. "I’ve never heard of that agency. Still, I doubt their writing has more energy than ours."

"I don't think you get me. I mean that my advertising is done by the books I sell. If I sell a man a book by Stevenson or Conrad, a book that delights or terrifies him, that man and that book become my living advertisements."

"I don’t think you understand me. I mean that my advertising comes from the books I sell. If I sell a person a book by Stevenson or Conrad, a book that either delights or terrifies them, that person and that book become my ongoing advertisements."

"But that word-of-mouth advertising is exploded," said Gilbert. "You can't get Distribution that way. You've got to keep your trademark before the public."

"But that word-of-mouth advertising is huge now," said Gilbert. "You can't rely on that for distribution. You've got to keep your brand in front of the public."

"By the bones of Tauchnitz!" cried Mifflin. "Look here, you wouldn't go to a doctor, a medical specialist, and tell him he ought to advertise in papers and magazines? A doctor is advertised by the bodies he cures. My business is advertised by the minds I stimulate. And let me tell you that the book business is different from other trades. People don't know they want books. I can see just by looking at you that your mind is ill for lack of books but you are blissfully unaware of it! People don't go to a bookseller until some serious mental accident or disease makes them aware of their danger. Then they come here. For me to advertise would be about as useful as telling people who feel perfectly well that they ought to go to the doctor. Do you know why people are reading more books now than ever before? Because the terrific catastrophe of the war has made them realize that their minds are ill. The world was suffering from all sorts of mental fevers and aches and disorders, and never knew it. Now our mental pangs are only too manifest. We are all reading, hungrily, hastily, trying to find out—after the trouble is over—what was the matter with our minds."

"By the bones of Tauchnitz!" shouted Mifflin. "Look, you wouldn’t go to a doctor, a medical expert, and tell him he should advertise in newspapers and magazines, right? A doctor advertises through the patients he helps. My business is promoted by the minds I inspire. And let me tell you, the book business is different from other industries. People don’t realize they want books. I can tell just by looking at you that your mind is starved for books, but you’re blissfully unaware of it! People don’t visit a bookseller until some serious mental incident or issue makes them recognize their problem. Then they come here. For me to advertise would be about as effective as telling people who feel perfectly fine that they should go to the doctor. Do you know why people are reading more books now than ever? Because the huge shock of the war has made them realize that their minds are in distress. The world was struggling with all kinds of mental issues and didn’t even know it. Now our mental aches are painfully obvious. We’re all reading, eagerly, quickly, trying to figure out—after the crisis is over—what was wrong with our minds."

The little bookseller was standing up now, and his visitor watched him with mingled amusement and alarm.

The little bookseller was now standing, and his visitor observed him with a mix of amusement and concern.

"You know," said Mifflin, "I am interested that you should have thought it worth while to come in here. It reinforces my conviction of the amazing future ahead of the book business. But I tell you that future lies not merely in systematizing it as a trade. It lies in dignifying it as a profession. It is small use to jeer at the public for craving shoddy books, quack books, untrue books. Physician, cure thyself! Let the bookseller learn to know and revere good books, he will teach the customer. The hunger for good books is more general and more insistent than you would dream. But it is still in a way subconscious. People need books, but they don't know they need them. Generally they are not aware that the books they need are in existence."

"You know," Mifflin said, "I find it interesting that you thought it was worth coming in here. It strengthens my belief in the incredible future of the book industry. But I tell you that future isn’t just about organizing it as a business. It’s about elevating it as a profession. There’s little point in mocking the public for wanting inferior books, fake books, or dishonest books. Doctor, heal thyself! If the bookseller learns to recognize and respect great books, he can teach the customer. The desire for good books is more widespread and pressing than you might think. But it’s still somewhat subconscious. People need books, but they don’t realize it. Usually, they aren’t even aware that the books they need actually exist."

"Why wouldn't advertising be the way to let them know?" asked the young man, rather acutely.

"Why wouldn't advertising be the way to let them know?" the young man asked, quite pointedly.

"My dear chap, I understand the value of advertising. But in my own case it would be futile. I am not a dealer in merchandise but a specialist in adjusting the book to the human need. Between ourselves, there is no such thing, abstractly, as a 'good' book. A book is 'good' only when it meets some human hunger or refutes some human error. A book that is good for me would very likely be punk for you. My pleasure is to prescribe books for such patients as drop in here and are willing to tell me their symptoms. Some people have let their reading faculties decay so that all I can do is hold a post mortem on them. But most are still open to treatment. There is no one so grateful as the man to whom you have given just the book his soul needed and he never knew it. No advertisement on earth is as potent as a grateful customer.

"My dear friend, I understand the importance of advertising. But in my case, it would be pointless. I’m not selling products; I specialize in matching books to people’s needs. Honestly, there’s no such thing as an abstract 'good' book. A book is 'good' only when it satisfies a human desire or corrects a misunderstanding. A book that's great for me might not work for you at all. I enjoy recommending books to those who come here and share their interests with me. Some people have let their reading skills decline so much that all I can do is analyze their situation after the fact. But most are still open to getting help. There’s no one more appreciative than someone you’ve provided with the exact book they needed, even if they didn’t realize it. No advertisement in the world is as effective as a thankful customer."

"I will tell you another reason why I don't advertise," he continued. "In these days when everyone keeps his trademark before the public, as you call it, not to advertise is the most original and startling thing one can do to attract attention. It was the fact that I do NOT advertise that drew you here. And everyone who comes here thinks he has discovered the place himself. He goes and tells his friends about the book asylum run by a crank and a lunatic, and they come here in turn to see what it is like."

"I'll give you another reason why I don't advertise," he went on. "In today's world, where everyone keeps their brand in the spotlight, not advertising is the most unique and surprising thing you can do to grab attention. It’s the fact that I don’t advertise that brought you here. And everyone who visits thinks they’ve found this place on their own. They go and tell their friends about the book refuge run by a weirdo and a madman, and then they come here too to check it out."

"I should like to come here again myself and browse about," said the advertising agent. "I should like to have you prescribe for me."

"I'd like to come here again and look around," said the advertising agent. "I'd like you to recommend something for me."

"The first thing needed is to acquire a sense of pity. The world has been printing books for 450 years, and yet gunpowder still has a wider circulation. Never mind! Printer's ink is the greater explosive: it will win. Yes, I have a few of the good books here. There are only about 30,000 really important books in the world. I suppose about 5,000 of them were written in the English language, and 5,000 more have been translated."

"The first thing we need is to develop a sense of compassion. The world has been publishing books for 450 years, yet gunpowder still spreads more widely. Never mind! Printer's ink is the more powerful explosive: it will prevail. Yes, I have some great books right here. There are only around 30,000 truly important books in the world. I’d guess about 5,000 of those were written in English, and another 5,000 have been translated."

"You are open in the evenings?"

"Are you open in the evenings?"

"Until ten o'clock. A great many of my best customers are those who are at work all day and can only visit bookshops at night. The real book-lovers, you know, are generally among the humbler classes. A man who is impassioned with books has little time or patience to grow rich by concocting schemes for cozening his fellows."

"Until ten o'clock. A lot of my best customers are those who work all day and can only visit bookstores at night. The true book lovers, you know, are usually from the working class. A man who is passionate about books has little time or patience to get wealthy by tricking others."

The little bookseller's bald pate shone in the light of the bulb hanging over the wrapping table. His eyes were bright and earnest, his short red beard bristled like wire. He wore a ragged brown Norfolk jacket from which two buttons were missing.

The little bookseller's bald head shone under the light of the bulb hanging over the wrapping table. His eyes were bright and serious, and his short red beard stood out like wire. He wore a worn brown Norfolk jacket that was missing two buttons.

A bit of a fanatic himself, thought the customer, but a very entertaining one. "Well, sir," he said, "I am ever so grateful to you. I'll come again. Good-night." And he started down the aisle for the door.

A bit of a fanatic himself, thought the customer, but a really entertaining one. "Well, sir," he said, "I'm so grateful to you. I'll be back. Good night." And he headed down the aisle toward the door.

As he neared the front of the shop, Mr. Mifflin switched on a cluster of lights that hung high up, and the young man found himself beside a large bulletin board covered with clippings, announcements, circulars, and little notices written on cards in a small neat script. The following caught his eye:

As he got closer to the front of the shop, Mr. Mifflin turned on a group of lights that hung up high, and the young man found himself next to a big bulletin board filled with clippings, announcements, flyers, and small notes written on cards in neat handwriting. The following caught his attention:


RX

Prescription

If your mind needs phosphorus, try "Trivia," by Logan Pearsall Smith.

If you need some mental stimulation, check out "Trivia" by Logan Pearsall Smith.

If your mind needs a whiff of strong air, blue and cleansing, from hilltops and primrose valleys, try "The Story of My Heart," by Richard Jefferies.

If you're looking for a breath of fresh, clean air from the mountaintops and blooming valleys, check out "The Story of My Heart" by Richard Jefferies.

If your mind needs a tonic of iron and wine, and a thorough rough-and-tumbling, try Samuel Butler's "Notebooks" or "The Man Who Was Thursday," by Chesterton.

If your mind needs a boost of strength and energy, along with some serious wrestling around, check out Samuel Butler's "Notebooks" or "The Man Who Was Thursday" by Chesterton.

If you need "all manner of Irish," and a relapse into irresponsible freakishness, try "The Demi-Gods," by James Stephens. It is a better book than one deserves or expects.

If you’re looking for "all kinds of Irish" and a return to wild unpredictability, check out "The Demi-Gods" by James Stephens. It's a better book than you’d expect or think you deserve.

It's a good thing to turn your mind upside down now and then, like an hour-glass, to let the particles run the other way.

It's good to shake things up every now and then, like flipping an hourglass, to let the grains flow in the opposite direction.

One who loves the English tongue can have a lot of fun with a Latin dictionary.

One who loves the English language can have a lot of fun with a Latin dictionary.

ROGER MIFFLIN.

ROGER MIFFLIN.


Human beings pay very little attention to what is told them unless they know something about it already. The young man had heard of none of these books prescribed by the practitioner of bibliotherapy. He was about to open the door when Mifflin appeared at his side.

Human beings hardly pay attention to what they're told unless they're already familiar with it. The young man hadn't heard of any of the books recommended by the bibliotherapy specialist. He was just about to open the door when Mifflin showed up next to him.

"Look here," he said, with a quaint touch of embarrassment. "I was very much interested by our talk. I'm all alone this evening—my wife is away on a holiday. Won't you stay and have supper with me? I was just looking up some new recipes when you came in."

"Hey," he said, a bit awkwardly. "I really enjoyed our conversation. I'm alone tonight—my wife's off on vacation. Would you like to stay and have dinner with me? I was just going through some new recipes when you walked in."

The other was equally surprised and pleased by this unusual invitation.

The other was just as surprised and happy about this unexpected invitation.

"Why—that's very good of you," he said. "Are you sure I won't be intruding?"

"Wow, that’s really nice of you," he said. "Are you sure I won’t be in the way?"

"Not at all!" cried the bookseller. "I detest eating alone: I was hoping someone would drop in. I always try to have a guest for supper when my wife is away. I have to stay at home, you see, to keep an eye on the shop. We have no servant, and I do the cooking myself. It's great fun. Now you light your pipe and make yourself comfortable for a few minutes while I get things ready. Suppose you come back to my den."

"Not at all!" the bookseller exclaimed. "I hate eating alone; I was hoping someone would stop by. I always try to have a guest for dinner when my wife is away. I have to stay home to keep an eye on the shop, you see. We don't have a servant, and I do the cooking myself. It's actually a lot of fun. Now you can light your pipe and get comfortable for a few minutes while I get everything ready. How about you come back to my study?"

On a table of books at the front of the shop Mifflin laid a large card lettered:

On a table of books at the front of the shop, Mifflin placed a large card with the words written on it:


     PROPRIETOR AT SUPPER
     IF YOU WANT ANYTHING
     RING THIS BELL
     PROPRIETOR AT SUPPER
     IF YOU NEED ANYTHING
     RING THIS BELL

Beside the card he placed a large old-fashioned dinner bell, and then led the way to the rear of the shop.

Beside the card, he set down a large, old-fashioned dinner bell and then led the way to the back of the shop.

Behind the little office in which this unusual merchant had been studying his cook-book a narrow stairway rose on each side, running up to the gallery. Behind these stairs a short flight of steps led to the domestic recesses. The visitor found himself ushered into a small room on the left, where a grate of coals glowed under a dingy mantelpiece of yellowish marble. On the mantel stood a row of blackened corn-cob pipes and a canister of tobacco. Above was a startling canvas in emphatic oils, representing a large blue wagon drawn by a stout white animal—evidently a horse. A background of lush scenery enhanced the forceful technique of the limner. The walls were stuffed with books. Two shabby, comfortable chairs were drawn up to the iron fender, and a mustard-coloured terrier was lying so close to the glow that a smell of singed hair was sensible.

Behind the small office where this unusual merchant had been studying his cookbook, a narrow staircase rose on each side, leading up to the gallery. Behind these stairs, a short flight of steps led to the living quarters. The visitor found himself taken into a small room on the left, where a coal fire glowed under a dingy yellowish marble mantelpiece. On the mantel sat a row of blackened corn-cob pipes and a canister of tobacco. Above it hung a striking painting in bold oils, depicting a large blue wagon pulled by a stout white animal—clearly a horse. A lush landscape in the background highlighted the artist's forceful technique. The walls were lined with books. Two worn but comfortable chairs were positioned near the iron fender, and a mustard-colored terrier lay so close to the warmth that the smell of singed hair was noticeable.

"There," said the host; "this is my cabinet, my chapel of ease. Take off your coat and sit down."

"There," said the host, "this is my office, my place to relax. Take off your coat and have a seat."

"Really," began Gilbert, "I'm afraid this is——"

"Honestly," Gilbert started, "I'm worried this is——"

"Nonsense! Now you sit down and commend your soul to Providence and the kitchen stove. I'll bustle round and get supper." Gilbert pulled out his pipe, and with a sense of elation prepared to enjoy an unusual evening. He was a young man of agreeable parts, amiable and sensitive. He knew his disadvantages in literary conversation, for he had gone to an excellent college where glee clubs and theatricals had left him little time for reading. But still he was a lover of good books, though he knew them chiefly by hearsay. He was twenty-five years old, employed as a copywriter by the Grey-Matter Advertising Agency.

"Nonsense! Now you sit down and trust your soul to fate and the kitchen stove. I'll take care of dinner." Gilbert pulled out his pipe and, feeling excited, prepared to enjoy a special evening. He was a young man with a pleasant demeanor, kind and sensitive. He was aware of his shortcomings in literary discussions since he had attended a great college where glee clubs and theater left him with little time for actual reading. Yet he still loved good books, even if he mostly knew them by reputation. He was twenty-five years old and worked as a copywriter at the Grey-Matter Advertising Agency.

The little room in which he found himself was plainly the bookseller's sanctum, and contained his own private library. Gilbert browsed along the shelves curiously. The volumes were mostly shabby and bruised; they had evidently been picked up one by one in the humble mangers of the second-hand vendor. They all showed marks of use and meditation.

The small room he was in was clearly the bookseller's personal space and held his private library. Gilbert looked around the shelves with interest. The books were mostly worn and damaged; they had clearly been gathered individually from the humble collection of the second-hand seller. Each one showed signs of use and contemplation.

Mr. Gilbert had the earnest mania for self-improvement which has blighted the lives of so many young men—a passion which, however, is commendable in those who feel themselves handicapped by a college career and a jewelled fraternity emblem. It suddenly struck him that it would be valuable to make a list of some of the titles in Mifflin's collection, as a suggestion for his own reading. He took out a memorandum book and began jotting down the books that intrigued him:

Mr. Gilbert had a strong obsession with self-improvement that has ruined the lives of many young men—a desire that, however, is admirable in those who feel held back by their college experience and a flashy fraternity badge. He suddenly realized that it would be helpful to make a list of some of the titles in Mifflin's collection as a guide for his own reading. He took out a notebook and started writing down the books that caught his interest:


     The Works of Francis Thompson (3 vols.)
     Social History of Smoking:  Apperson
     The Path to Rome:  Hilaire Belloc
     The Book of Tea:  Kakuzo
     Happy Thoughts:  F. C. Burnand
     Dr. Johnson's Prayers and Meditations
     Margaret Ogilvy:  J. M. Barrie
     Confessions of a Thug:  Taylor
     General Catalogue of the Oxford University Press
     The Morning's War:  C. E. Montague
     The Spirit of Man:  edited by Robert Bridges
     The Romany Rye:  Borrow
     Poems:  Emily Dickinson
     Poems:  George Herbert
     The House of Cobwebs:  George Gissing
     The Works of Francis Thompson (3 vols.)
     Social History of Smoking:  Apperson
     The Path to Rome:  Hilaire Belloc
     The Book of Tea:  Kakuzo
     Happy Thoughts:  F. C. Burnand
     Dr. Johnson's Prayers and Meditations
     Margaret Ogilvy:  J. M. Barrie
     Confessions of a Thug:  Taylor
     General Catalogue of the Oxford University Press
     The Morning's War:  C. E. Montague
     The Spirit of Man:  edited by Robert Bridges
     The Romany Rye:  Borrow
     Poems:  Emily Dickinson
     Poems:  George Herbert
     The House of Cobwebs:  George Gissing

So far had he got, and was beginning to say to himself that in the interests of Advertising (who is a jealous mistress) he had best call a halt, when his host entered the room, his small face eager, his eyes blue points of light.

So far he had come, and was starting to think that for the sake of Advertising (who is a jealous mistress) he should probably stop, when his host walked into the room, his small face eager, his eyes bright blue sparks.

"Come, Mr. Aubrey Gilbert!" he cried. "The meal is set. You want to wash your hands? Make haste then, this way: the eggs are hot and waiting."

"Come on, Mr. Aubrey Gilbert!" he said. "The meal is ready. Do you want to wash your hands? Hurry up then, this way: the eggs are hot and waiting."

The dining-room into which the guest was conducted betrayed a feminine touch not visible in the smoke-dimmed quarters of shop and cabinet. At the windows were curtains of laughing chintz and pots of pink geranium. The table, under a drop-light in a flame-coloured silk screen, was brightly set with silver and blue china. In a cut-glass decanter sparkled a ruddy brown wine. The edged tool of Advertising felt his spirits undergo an unmistakable upward pressure.

The dining room the guest was led into had a feminine vibe that was missing in the smoke-filled areas of the shop and cabinet. The windows were dressed with cheerful chintz curtains and pink geranium pots. The table, highlighted by a drop light behind a bright silk screen, was beautifully arranged with silverware and blue china. A rich, brown wine sparkled in a cut-glass decanter. The advertising professional felt his mood lift noticeably.

"Sit down, sir," said Mifflin, lifting the roof of a platter. "These are eggs Samuel Butler, an invention of my own, the apotheosis of hen fruit."

"Have a seat, sir," said Mifflin, raising the lid of a platter. "These are eggs Samuel Butler, a creation of mine, the pinnacle of chicken produce."

Gilbert greeted the invention with applause. An Egg Samuel Butler, for the notebook of housewives, may be summarized as a pyramid, based upon toast, whereof the chief masonries are a flake of bacon, an egg poached to firmness, a wreath of mushrooms, a cap-sheaf of red peppers; the whole dribbled with a warm pink sauce of which the inventor retains the secret. To this the bookseller chef added fried potatoes from another dish, and poured for his guest a glass of wine.

Gilbert welcomed the invention with applause. An Egg by Samuel Butler, for the notepad of housewives, can be summed up as a pyramid built on toast, where the main components are a slice of bacon, a perfectly poached egg, a ring of mushrooms, and a stack of red peppers; all drizzled with a warm pink sauce whose recipe the creator keeps secret. The bookseller's chef added fried potatoes from another dish and poured a glass of wine for his guest.

"This is California catawba," said Mifflin, "in which the grape and the sunshine very pleasantly (and cheaply) fulfil their allotted destiny. I pledge you prosperity to the black art of Advertising!"

"This is California catawba," Mifflin said, "where the grapes and sunshine happily (and affordably) fulfill their purpose. I toast to the success of the black art of Advertising!"

The psychology of the art and mystery of Advertising rests upon tact, an instinctive perception of the tone and accent which will be en rapport with the mood of the hearer. Mr. Gilbert was aware of this, and felt that quite possibly his host was prouder of his whimsical avocation as gourmet than of his sacred profession as a bookman.

The psychology of the art and mystery of Advertising relies on tact, an instinctive understanding of the tone and vibe that will resonate with the audience's mood. Mr. Gilbert recognized this and thought that his host was probably prouder of his quirky passion as a gourmet than of his esteemed profession as a bookman.

"Is it possible, sir," he began, in lucid Johnsonian, "that you can concoct so delicious an entree in so few minutes? You are not hoaxing me? There is no secret passage between Gissing Street and the laboratories of the Ritz?"

"Is it possible, sir," he started, in clear Johnsonian style, "that you can whip up such a delicious dish in just a few minutes? You're not joking with me, are you? There’s no hidden passage between Gissing Street and the Ritz's kitchens?"

"Ah, you should taste Mrs. Mifflin's cooking!" said the bookseller. "I am only an amateur, who dabbles in the craft during her absence. She is on a visit to her cousin in Boston. She becomes, quite justifiably, weary of the tobacco of this establishment, and once or twice a year it does her good to breathe the pure serene of Beacon Hill. During her absence it is my privilege to inquire into the ritual of housekeeping. I find it very sedative after the incessant excitement and speculation of the shop."

"Wow, you have to try Mrs. Mifflin's cooking!" said the bookseller. "I’m just a hobbyist who experiments in the kitchen while she’s away. She’s visiting her cousin in Boston. She understandably gets tired of the smoke from this place, and a couple of times a year, it’s nice for her to enjoy the fresh air of Beacon Hill. While she's gone, I get the chance to dive into the routine of running the household. I find it really calming after all the constant buzz and curiosity of the shop."

"I should have thought," said Gilbert, "that life in a bookshop would be delightfully tranquil."

"I would have thought," said Gilbert, "that life in a bookstore would be really peaceful."

"Far from it. Living in a bookshop is like living in a warehouse of explosives. Those shelves are ranked with the most furious combustibles in the world—the brains of men. I can spend a rainy afternoon reading, and my mind works itself up to such a passion and anxiety over mortal problems as almost unmans me. It is terribly nerve-racking. Surround a man with Carlyle, Emerson, Thoreau, Chesterton, Shaw, Nietzsche, and George Ade—would you wonder at his getting excited? What would happen to a cat if she had to live in a room tapestried with catnip? She would go crazy!"

"Not at all. Living in a bookstore is like living in a warehouse full of explosives. Those shelves are packed with the most intense ideas in the world—people's minds. I can spend a rainy afternoon reading, and my thoughts get so worked up with passion and anxiety over serious issues that it nearly overwhelms me. It is incredibly stressful. Surround a person with Carlyle, Emerson, Thoreau, Chesterton, Shaw, Nietzsche, and George Ade—would you be surprised if they got fired up? What would happen to a cat if she had to live in a room decorated with catnip? She’d go nuts!"

"Truly, I had never thought of that phase of bookselling," said the young man. "How is it, though, that libraries are shrines of such austere calm? If books are as provocative as you suggest, one would expect every librarian to utter the shrill screams of a hierophant, to clash ecstatic castanets in his silent alcoves!"

"Honestly, I had never considered that part of bookselling," said the young man. "But why is it that libraries are places of such quiet serenity? If books are as stimulating as you say, you'd expect every librarian to shout like a high priest and to play loud castanets in their quiet corners!"

"Ah, my boy, you forget the card index! Librarians invented that soothing device for the febrifuge of their souls, just as I fall back upon the rites of the kitchen. Librarians would all go mad, those capable of concentrated thought, if they did not have the cool and healing card index as medicament! Some more of the eggs?"

"Ah, my boy, you’re forgetting the card index! Librarians created that calming tool to soothe their minds, just like I rely on the rituals of the kitchen. Librarians who can focus would go crazy without the refreshing and healing card index as a remedy! Would you like some more eggs?"

"Thank you," said Gilbert. "Who was the butler whose name was associated with the dish?"

"Thanks," said Gilbert. "Who was the butler whose name was linked to the dish?"

"What?" cried Mifflin, in agitation, "you have not heard of Samuel Butler, the author of The Way of All Flesh? My dear young man, whoever permits himself to die before he has read that book, and also Erewhon, has deliberately forfeited his chances of paradise. For paradise in the world to come is uncertain, but there is indeed a heaven on this earth, a heaven which we inhabit when we read a good book. Pour yourself another glass of wine, and permit me——"

"What?" Mifflin exclaimed, clearly upset. "You haven’t heard of Samuel Butler, the author of The Way of All Flesh? My dear young man, anyone who allows themselves to die before reading that book, and also Erewhon, has willingly given up their chance at paradise. Because paradise in the afterlife is uncertain, but there is definitely a heaven on this earth, a heaven we experience when we read a great book. Pour yourself another glass of wine, and let me——"

(Here followed an enthusiastic development of the perverse philosophy of Samuel Butler, which, in deference to my readers, I omit. Mr. Gilbert took notes of the conversation in his pocketbook, and I am pleased to say that his heart was moved to a realization of his iniquity, for he was observed at the Public Library a few days later asking for a copy of The Way of All Flesh. After inquiring at four libraries, and finding all copies of the book in circulation, he was compelled to buy one. He never regretted doing so.)

(Here followed an enthusiastic discussion of the unconventional philosophy of Samuel Butler, which, out of respect for my readers, I’ll skip. Mr. Gilbert took notes of the conversation in his notebook, and I’m happy to say that he came to realize his wrongdoing, as he was seen at the Public Library a few days later asking for a copy of The Way of All Flesh. After checking four libraries and discovering all copies were checked out, he ended up buying one. He never regretted it.)

"But I am forgetting my duties as host," said Mifflin. "Our dessert consists of apple sauce, gingerbread, and coffee." He rapidly cleared the empty dishes from the table and brought on the second course.

"But I'm forgetting my duties as the host," said Mifflin. "Our dessert is apple sauce, gingerbread, and coffee." He quickly cleared the empty dishes from the table and brought out the second course.

"I have been noticing the warning over the sideboard," said Gilbert. "I hope you will let me help you this evening?" He pointed to a card hanging near the kitchen door. It read:

"I’ve been seeing the warning on the sideboard," said Gilbert. "I hope you’ll let me help you tonight?" He pointed to a card hanging near the kitchen door. It read:


     ALWAYS WASH DISHES
     IMMEDIATELY AFTER MEALS
     IT SAVES TROUBLE
     ALWAYS WASH DISHES
     RIGHT AFTER MEALS
     IT HELPS AVOID PROBLEMS

"I'm afraid I don't always obey that precept," said the bookseller as he poured the coffee. "Mrs. Mifflin hangs it there whenever she goes away, to remind me. But, as our friend Samuel Butler says, he that is stupid in little will also be stupid in much. I have a different theory about dish-washing, and I please myself by indulging it.

"I'm afraid I don't always follow that rule," said the bookseller as he poured the coffee. "Mrs. Mifflin puts it up there whenever she leaves, to remind me. But, as our friend Samuel Butler says, someone who is careless in small things will also be careless in big things. I have my own idea about washing dishes, and I enjoy indulging it.

"I used to regard dish-washing merely as an ignoble chore, a kind of hateful discipline which had to be undergone with knitted brow and brazen fortitude. When my wife went away the first time, I erected a reading stand and an electric light over the sink, and used to read while my hands went automatically through base gestures of purification. I made the great spirits of literature partners of my sorrow, and learned by heart a good deal of Paradise Lost and of Walt Mason, while I soused and wallowed among pots and pans. I used to comfort myself with two lines of Keats:

"I used to see dish-washing as just a tedious chore, a kind of annoying task that I had to get through with a frown and tough determination. When my wife left for the first time, I set up a reading stand and an electric light over the sink, and I would read while my hands mechanically went through the dirty dishes. I made the great writers my companions in sadness, and memorized a lot of Paradise Lost and Walt Mason while I immersed myself in pots and pans. I would console myself with two lines from Keats:"


'The moving waters at their priest-like task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores——'

The flowing waters, doing their sacred duty
Of cleansing all around the world's shores——


Then a new conception of the matter struck me. It is intolerable for a human being to go on doing any task as a penance, under duress. No matter what the work is, one must spiritualize it in some way, shatter the old idea of it into bits and rebuild it nearer to the heart's desire. How was I to do this with dish-washing?

Then a new idea hit me. It’s unacceptable for anyone to keep doing a task as a punishment or under pressure. No matter what the work is, you have to find a way to make it meaningful, break the old concept apart, and reshape it closer to what your heart wants. How was I going to do this with washing dishes?

"I broke a good many plates while I was pondering over the matter. Then it occurred to me that here was just the relaxation I needed. I had been worrying over the mental strain of being surrounded all day long by vociferous books, crying out at me their conflicting views as to the glories and agonies of life. Why not make dish-washing my balm and poultice?

"I broke a lot of plates while I was thinking about the issue. Then it hit me that this was exactly the break I needed. I had been stressing over the mental burden of being surrounded all day by loud books, shouting their conflicting opinions about the joys and struggles of life. Why not turn washing dishes into my soothing remedy?"

"When one views a stubborn fact from a new angle, it is amazing how all its contours and edges change shape! Immediately my dishpan began to glow with a kind of philosophic halo! The warm, soapy water became a sovereign medicine to retract hot blood from the head; the homely act of washing and drying cups and saucers became a symbol of the order and cleanliness that man imposes on the unruly world about him. I tore down my book rack and reading lamp from over the sink.

"When you look at a stubborn fact from a different perspective, it’s surprising how all its shapes and edges transform! Suddenly, my dishpan started to shine with a sort of philosophical glow! The warm, soapy water became a soothing remedy to cool my heated thoughts; the simple task of washing and drying cups and saucers turned into a representation of the order and cleanliness that people establish in the chaotic world around them. I took down my bookshelf and reading lamp from above the sink."

"Mr. Gilbert," he went on, "do not laugh at me when I tell you that I have evolved a whole kitchen philosophy of my own. I find the kitchen the shrine of our civilization, the focus of all that is comely in life. The ruddy shine of the stove is as beautiful as any sunset. A well-polished jug or spoon is as fair, as complete and beautiful, as any sonnet. The dish mop, properly rinsed and wrung and hung outside the back door to dry, is a whole sermon in itself. The stars never look so bright as they do from the kitchen door after the ice-box pan is emptied and the whole place is 'redd up,' as the Scotch say."

"Mr. Gilbert," he continued, "please don't laugh at me when I say I've come up with my own kitchen philosophy. I see the kitchen as the heart of our civilization, the center of everything beautiful in life. The warm glow of the stove is as stunning as any sunset. A well-polished jug or spoon is just as lovely and complete as any poem. A dish mop, properly rinsed, wrung out, and hung outside to dry, is a whole sermon in itself. The stars never seem as bright as they do from the kitchen door after the trash is taken out and everything is tidied up, as the Scots would say."

"A very delightful philosophy indeed," said Gilbert. "And now that we have finished our meal, I insist upon your letting me give you a hand with the washing up. I am eager to test this dish-pantheism of yours!"

"A really delightful philosophy," Gilbert said. "Now that we've finished our meal, I insist on helping you with the dishes. I'm eager to try out this dish-pantheism of yours!"

"My dear fellow," said Mifflin, laying a restraining hand on his impetuous guest, "it is a poor philosophy that will not abide denial now and then. No, no—I did not ask you to spend the evening with me to wash dishes." And he led the way back to his sitting room.

"My dear friend," said Mifflin, putting a calming hand on his eager guest, "it's a weak philosophy that can't handle a little rejection now and then. No, no—I didn't invite you to spend the evening with me just to wash dishes." And he led the way back to his living room.

"When I saw you come in," said Mifflin, "I was afraid you might be a newspaper man, looking for an interview. A young journalist came to see us once, with very unhappy results. He wheedled himself into Mrs. Mifflin's good graces, and ended by putting us both into a book, called Parnassus on Wheels, which has been rather a trial to me. In that book he attributes to me a number of shallow and sugary observations upon bookselling that have been an annoyance to the trade. I am happy to say, though, that his book had only a trifling sale."

"When I saw you walk in," Mifflin said, "I was worried you might be a journalist looking for an interview. A young reporter visited us once, and it didn't end well. He managed to charm Mrs. Mifflin, and then he ended up putting both of us in a book called Parnassus on Wheels, which has been quite a hassle for me. In that book, he attributes a bunch of shallow and cheesy views on bookselling to me, which have annoyed the industry. I'm glad to say, though, that his book didn't sell well at all."

"I have never heard of it," said Gilbert.

"I've never heard of it," said Gilbert.

"If you are really interested in bookselling you should come here some evening to a meeting of the Corn Cob Club. Once a month a number of booksellers gather here and we discuss matters of bookish concern over corn-cobs and cider. We have all sorts and conditions of booksellers: one is a fanatic on the subject of libraries. He thinks that every public library should be dynamited. Another thinks that moving pictures will destroy the book trade. What rot! Surely everything that arouses people's minds, that makes them alert and questioning, increases their appetite for books."

"If you're genuinely interested in bookselling, you should come by one evening for a meeting of the Corn Cob Club. Once a month, a bunch of booksellers gets together here, and we discuss various book-related topics while enjoying corn cobs and cider. We have all kinds of booksellers: one is obsessed with libraries; he believes every public library should be blown up. Another insists that movies will ruin the book industry. What nonsense! Surely everything that stimulates people's minds, making them curious and engaged, boosts their desire for books."

"The life of a bookseller is very demoralizing to the intellect," he went on after a pause. "He is surrounded by innumerable books; he cannot possibly read them all; he dips into one and picks up a scrap from another. His mind gradually fills itself with miscellaneous flotsam, with superficial opinions, with a thousand half-knowledges. Almost unconsciously he begins to rate literature according to what people ask for. He begins to wonder whether Ralph Waldo Trine isn't really greater than Ralph Waldo Emerson, whether J. M. Chapple isn't as big a man as J. M. Barrie. That way lies intellectual suicide.

"The life of a bookseller is really demoralizing for the mind," he continued after a pause. "He’s surrounded by countless books; he can’t possibly read them all; he skims through one and grabs a bit from another. His mind slowly fills up with random bits and pieces, with shallow opinions, with a thousand half-understandings. Almost without realizing it, he starts to judge literature based on what people want. He begins to question whether Ralph Waldo Trine is actually more significant than Ralph Waldo Emerson, whether J. M. Chapple is really as important as J. M. Barrie. That path leads to intellectual downfall."

"One thing, however, you must grant the good bookseller. He is tolerant. He is patient of all ideas and theories. Surrounded, engulfed by the torrent of men's words, he is willing to listen to them all. Even to the publisher's salesman he turns an indulgent ear. He is willing to be humbugged for the weal of humanity. He hopes unceasingly for good books to be born.

"One thing you have to give the good bookseller is that he’s tolerant. He’s open to all ideas and theories. Surrounded and overwhelmed by the flood of people’s words, he’s willing to listen to them all. Even the publisher's sales rep gets his patience. He’s ready to be fooled for the greater good. He constantly hopes for great books to emerge."

"My business, you see, is different from most. I only deal in second-hand books; I only buy books that I consider have some honest reason for existence. In so far as human judgment can discern, I try to keep trash out of my shelves. A doctor doesn't traffic in quack remedies. I don't traffic in bogus books.

"My business, you see, is different from most. I only deal in used books; I only buy books that I believe have a genuine reason to exist. As much as human judgment can tell, I try to keep junk off my shelves. A doctor doesn't sell fake remedies. I don't sell counterfeit books."

"A comical thing happened the other day. There is a certain wealthy man, a Mr. Chapman, who has long frequented this shop——"

"A funny thing happened recently. There's a wealthy guy named Mr. Chapman who has been coming to this shop for a long time——"

"I wonder if that could be Mr. Chapman of the Chapman Daintybits Company?" said Gilbert, feeling his feet touch familiar soil.

"I wonder if that could be Mr. Chapman from the Chapman Daintybits Company?" said Gilbert, feeling his feet touch familiar ground.

"The same, I believe," said Mifflin. "Do you know him?"

"The same, I think," said Mifflin. "Do you know him?"

"Ah," cried the young man with reverence. "There is a man who can tell you the virtues of advertising. If he is interested in books, it is advertising that made it possible. We handle all his copy—I've written a lot of it myself. We have made the Chapman prunes a staple of civilization and culture. I myself devised that slogan 'We preen ourselves on our prunes' which you see in every big magazine. Chapman prunes are known the world over. The Mikado eats them once a week. The Pope eats them. Why, we have just heard that thirteen cases of them are to be put on board the George Washington for the President's voyage to the peace Conference. The Czecho-Slovak armies were fed largely on prunes. It is our conviction in the office that our campaign for the Chapman prunes did much to win the war."

"Ah," the young man exclaimed with admiration. "There’s a guy who can explain the benefits of advertising. If he’s into books, it's advertising that made that possible. We manage all his marketing content—I’ve written a lot of it myself. We’ve turned Chapman prunes into a staple of civilization and culture. I came up with that slogan 'We take pride in our prunes' that you see in every major magazine. Chapman prunes are recognized worldwide. The Mikado eats them every week. The Pope eats them. In fact, we just heard that thirteen cases are being loaded onto the George Washington for the President’s trip to the peace Conference. The Czecho-Slovak armies were mainly fed prunes. We believe in the office that our campaign for Chapman prunes played a significant role in winning the war."

"I read in an ad the other day—perhaps you wrote that, too?" said the bookseller, "that the Elgin watch had won the war. However, Mr. Chapman has long been one of my best customers. He heard about the Corn Cob Club, and though of course he is not a bookseller he begged to come to our meetings. We were glad to have him do so, and he has entered into our discussions with great zeal. Often he has offered many a shrewd comment. He has grown so enthusiastic about the bookseller's way of life that the other day he wrote to me about his daughter (he is a widower). She has been attending a fashionable girls' school where, he says, they have filled her head with absurd, wasteful, snobbish notions. He says she has no more idea of the usefulness and beauty of life than a Pomeranian dog. Instead of sending her to college, he has asked me if Mrs. Mifflin and I will take her in here to learn to sell books. He wants her to think she is earning her keep, and is going to pay me privately for the privilege of having her live here. He thinks that being surrounded by books will put some sense in her head. I am rather nervous about the experiment, but it is a compliment to the shop, isn't it?"

"I saw an ad the other day—maybe you wrote it too?" said the bookseller. "It claimed that the Elgin watch won the war. However, Mr. Chapman has been one of my best customers for a while. He heard about the Corn Cob Club, and even though he’s not a bookseller, he asked to join our meetings. We were happy to let him, and he has participated in our discussions with great enthusiasm. He’s often shared some sharp insights. He has become so passionate about the bookseller lifestyle that recently he wrote to me about his daughter (he's a widower). She’s been going to a fancy girls' school where, he says, they’ve filled her head with ridiculous, extravagant, snobby ideas. He says she has no more understanding of the value and beauty of life than a Pomeranian dog. Instead of sending her to college, he’s asked me if Mrs. Mifflin and I would take her in here to learn how to sell books. He wants her to feel like she’s earning her keep and plans to pay me privately for the privilege of having her stay here. He believes that being around books will help her make sense of things. I’m a bit anxious about this experiment, but it is a compliment to the shop, don’t you think?"

"Ye gods," cried Gilbert, "what advertising copy that would make!"

"Wow," exclaimed Gilbert, "what incredible advertising copy that would be!"

At this point the bell in the shop rang, and Mifflin jumped up. "This part of the evening is often rather busy," he said. "I'm afraid I'll have to go down on the floor. Some of my habitues rather expect me to be on hand to gossip about books."

At this point, the bell in the shop rang, and Mifflin jumped up. "This part of the evening usually gets pretty busy," he said. "I’m afraid I have to head down to the floor. Some of my regulars expect me to be around to chat about books."

"I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed myself," said Gilbert. "I'm going to come again and study your shelves."

"I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed myself," said Gilbert. "I'm definitely coming back to check out your shelves."

"Well, keep it dark about the young lady," said the bookseller. "I don't want all you young blades dropping in here to unsettle her mind. If she falls in love with anybody in this shop, it'll have to be Joseph Conrad or John Keats!"

"Well, let's keep it quiet about the young lady," said the bookseller. "I don’t want all you young guys coming in here and messing with her head. If she falls in love with anyone in this shop, it has to be Joseph Conrad or John Keats!"

As he passed out, Gilbert saw Roger Mifflin engaged in argument with a bearded man who looked like a college professor. "Carlyle's Oliver Cromwell?" he was saying. "Yes, indeed! Right over here! Hullo, that's odd! It WAS here."

As he lost consciousness, Gilbert noticed Roger Mifflin arguing with a bearded man who resembled a college professor. "Carlyle's Oliver Cromwell?" he was saying. "Yes, definitely! Right over here! Hey, that's strange! It WAS here."




Chapter II

The Corn Cob Club[1]

[1] The latter half of this chapter may be omitted by all readers who are not booksellers.

[1] The second half of this chapter can be skipped by anyone who isn't a bookseller.


The Haunted Bookshop was a delightful place, especially of an evening, when its drowsy alcoves were kindled with the brightness of lamps shining on the rows of volumes. Many a passer-by would stumble down the steps from the street in sheer curiosity; others, familiar visitors, dropped in with the same comfortable emotion that a man feels on entering his club. Roger's custom was to sit at his desk in the rear, puffing his pipe and reading; though if any customer started a conversation, the little man was quick and eager to carry it on. The lion of talk lay only sleeping in him; it was not hard to goad it up.

The Haunted Bookshop was a charming spot, especially in the evening, when its sleepy nooks were lit by the warm glow of lamps shining on the shelves of books. Many passersby would stumble down the steps from the street out of pure curiosity; others, familiar visitors, dropped in with the same comfortable feeling that one gets when entering a club. Roger typically sat at his desk in the back, puffing on his pipe and reading; however, if a customer sparked a conversation, the little man was quick and enthusiastic to join in. The lion of conversation was just resting inside him; it was easy to bring it to life.

It may be remarked that all bookshops that are open in the evening are busy in the after-supper hours. Is it that the true book-lovers are nocturnal gentry, only venturing forth when darkness and silence and the gleam of hooded lights irresistibly suggest reading? Certainly night-time has a mystic affinity for literature, and it is strange that the Esquimaux have created no great books. Surely, for most of us, an arctic night would be insupportable without O. Henry and Stevenson. Or, as Roger Mifflin remarked during a passing enthusiasm for Ambrose Bierce, the true noctes ambrosianae are the noctes ambrose bierceianae.

It can be noted that all the bookstores open in the evening are bustling during the after-dinner hours. Are true book lovers the type to come out at night, only stepping outside when the darkness, quietness, and soft glow of dim lights make reading irresistible? It's clear that nighttime has a special connection to literature, and it's odd that the Inuit haven't produced any great books. For most of us, an arctic night would be unbearable without O. Henry and Stevenson. Or, as Roger Mifflin once said enthusiastically about Ambrose Bierce, the true “noctes ambrosianae” are really the “noctes ambrose bierceianae.”

But Roger was prompt in closing Parnassus at ten o'clock. At that hour he and Bock (the mustard-coloured terrier, named for Boccaccio) would make the round of the shop, see that everything was shipshape, empty the ash trays provided for customers, lock the front door, and turn off the lights. Then they would retire to the den, where Mrs. Mifflin was generally knitting or reading. She would brew a pot of cocoa and they would read or talk for half an hour or so before bed. Sometimes Roger would take a stroll along Gissing Street before turning in. All day spent with books has a rather exhausting effect on the mind, and he used to enjoy the fresh air sweeping up the dark Brooklyn streets, meditating some thought that had sprung from his reading, while Bock sniffed and padded along in the manner of an elderly dog at night.

But Roger was quick to close Parnassus at ten o'clock. At that time, he and Bock (the mustard-colored terrier named after Boccaccio) would do a round of the shop, make sure everything was in order, empty the ashtrays for customers, lock the front door, and turn off the lights. Then they would head to the den, where Mrs. Mifflin was usually knitting or reading. She would make a pot of cocoa, and they would read or chat for about half an hour before bed. Sometimes, Roger would take a walk down Gissing Street before turning in. A full day spent with books can be pretty tiring for the mind, and he enjoyed the fresh air blowing through the dark Brooklyn streets, pondering thoughts that had come up during his reading, while Bock sniffed and padded along like an old dog at night.

While Mrs. Mifflin was away, however, Roger's routine was somewhat different. After closing the shop he would return to his desk and with a furtive, shamefaced air take out from a bottom drawer an untidy folder of notes and manuscript. This was the skeleton in his closet, his secret sin. It was the scaffolding of his book, which he had been compiling for at least ten years, and to which he had tentatively assigned such different titles as "Notes on Literature," "The Muse on Crutches," "Books and I," and "What a Young Bookseller Ought to Know." It had begun long ago, in the days of his odyssey as a rural book huckster, under the title of "Literature Among the Farmers," but it had branched out until it began to appear that (in bulk at least) Ridpath would have to look to his linoleum laurels. The manuscript in its present state had neither beginning nor end, but it was growing strenuously in the middle, and hundreds of pages were covered with Roger's minute script. The chapter on "Ars Bibliopolae," or the art of bookselling, would be, he hoped, a classic among generations of book vendors still unborn. Seated at his disorderly desk, caressed by a counterpane of drifting tobacco haze, he would pore over the manuscript, crossing out, interpolating, re-arguing, and then referring to volumes on his shelves. Bock would snore under the chair, and soon Roger's brain would begin to waver. In the end he would fall asleep over his papers, wake with a cramp about two o'clock, and creak irritably to a lonely bed.

While Mrs. Mifflin was away, Roger's daily routine was a bit different. After shutting down the shop, he would go back to his desk and, with a sneaky, embarrassed look, pull out a messy folder of notes and manuscripts from a bottom drawer. This was his hidden secret, his guilty pleasure. It contained the outline of a book he had been working on for at least ten years, and he had tentatively given it several titles like “Notes on Literature,” “The Muse on Crutches,” “Books and I,” and “What a Young Bookseller Should Know.” It all started a long time ago when he was a rural book salesman, originally titled “Literature Among the Farmers.” But it had expanded so much that it seemed Ridpath would have to watch his reputation. The manuscript, in its current form, had no clear beginning or end, but it was definitely gaining ground in the middle, with hundreds of pages filled with Roger's tiny handwriting. He hoped that the chapter on “Ars Bibliopolae,” or the art of bookselling, would become a classic for future generations of booksellers. Sitting at his messy desk, surrounded by a haze of drifting tobacco smoke, he would dive into the manuscript, crossing out text, adding notes, counter-arguing his points, and then checking the books on his shelves. Bock would snore under the chair, and soon Roger's mind would start to drift. Eventually, he would doze off over his papers, wake up with a cramp around two o'clock, and grumpily shuffle to his lonely bed.

All this we mention only to explain how it was that Roger was dozing at his desk about midnight, the evening after the call paid by Aubrey Gilbert. He was awakened by a draught of chill air passing like a mountain brook over his bald pate. Stiffly he sat up and looked about. The shop was in darkness save for the bright electric over his head. Bock, of more regular habit than his master, had gone back to his couch in the kitchen, made of a packing case that had once coffined a set of the Encyclopaedia Britannica.

All this is just to explain how Roger ended up dozing at his desk around midnight, the night after Aubrey Gilbert's visit. He woke up from a draft of cold air that flowed over his bald head like a mountain stream. He sat up stiffly and looked around. The shop was dark except for the bright light overhead. Bock, who had more regular habits than his boss, had gone back to his makeshift bed in the kitchen, which was made from a packing crate that once held a set of the Encyclopaedia Britannica.

"That's funny," said Roger to himself. "Surely I locked the door?" He walked to the front of the shop, switching on the cluster of lights that hung from the ceiling. The door was ajar, but everything else seemed as usual. Bock, hearing his footsteps, came trotting out from the kitchen, his claws rattling on the bare wooden floor. He looked up with the patient inquiry of a dog accustomed to the eccentricities of his patron.

"That's funny," Roger said to himself. "Did I really lock the door?" He walked to the front of the shop and turned on the cluster of lights hanging from the ceiling. The door was slightly open, but everything else looked normal. Bock, hearing his footsteps, came running out from the kitchen, his claws clicking on the bare wooden floor. He looked up with the patient curiosity of a dog used to his owner’s quirks.

"I guess I'm getting absent-minded," said Roger. "I must have left the door open." He closed and locked it. Then he noticed that the terrier was sniffing in the History alcove, which was at the front of the shop on the left-hand side.

"I think I'm becoming forgetful," said Roger. "I must have left the door open." He closed and locked it. Then he noticed that the terrier was sniffing in the History nook, which was at the front of the shop on the left side.

"What is it, old man?" said Roger. "Want something to read in bed?" He turned on the light in that alcove. Everything appeared normal. Then he noticed a book that projected an inch or so beyond the even line of bindings. It was a fad of Roger's to keep all his books in a flat row on the shelves, and almost every evening at closing time he used to run his palm along the backs of the volumes to level any irregularities left by careless browsers. He put out a hand to push the book into place. Then he stopped.

"What’s up, old man?" Roger asked. "Need something to read in bed?" He switched on the light in that nook. Everything looked normal. Then he spotted a book that was sticking out about an inch from the straight line of the other bindings. It was Roger's habit to keep all his books neatly lined up on the shelves, and almost every evening at closing time, he would run his hand along the spines of the books to adjust any misalignments caused by careless readers. He reached out to push the book back in line. Then he paused.

"Queer again," he thought. "Carlyle's Oliver Cromwell! I looked for that book last night and couldn't find it. When that professor fellow was here. Maybe I'm tired and can't see straight. I'll go to bed."

"Queer again," he thought. "Carlyle's Oliver Cromwell! I searched for that book last night and couldn't find it when that professor was here. Maybe I'm just tired and not thinking clearly. I’ll head to bed."

The next day was a date of some moment. Not only was it Thanksgiving Day, with the November meeting of the Corn Cob Club scheduled for that evening, but Mrs. Mifflin had promised to get home from Boston in time to bake a chocolate cake for the booksellers. It was said that some of the members of the club were faithful in attendance more by reason of Mrs. Mifflin's chocolate cake, and the cask of cider that her brother Andrew McGill sent down from the Sabine Farm every autumn, than on account of the bookish conversation.

The next day was significant. Not only was it Thanksgiving Day, with the November meeting of the Corn Cob Club planned for that evening, but Mrs. Mifflin had promised to return from Boston in time to bake a chocolate cake for the booksellers. It was said that some club members showed up more for Mrs. Mifflin's chocolate cake and the barrel of cider her brother Andrew McGill sent down from Sabine Farm every fall than for the literary discussions.

Roger spent the morning in doing a little housecleaning, in preparation for his wife's return. He was a trifle abashed to find how many mingled crumbs and tobacco cinders had accumulated on the dining-room rug. He cooked himself a modest lunch of lamb chops and baked potatoes, and was pleased by an epigram concerning food that came into his mind. "It's not the food you dream about that matters," he said to himself; "it's the vittles that walk right in and become a member of the family." He felt that this needed a little polishing and rephrasing, but that there was a germ of wit in it. He had a habit of encountering ideas at his solitary meals.

Roger spent the morning doing a bit of house cleaning in preparation for his wife's return. He felt a bit embarrassed to see how many mixed crumbs and tobacco ashes had built up on the dining room rug. He made himself a simple lunch of lamb chops and baked potatoes and was pleased by a saying about food that popped into his head. "It's not the food you dream about that matters," he said to himself; "it's the meals that come right in and become part of the family." He thought it needed some polishing and rephrasing, but he sensed a spark of wit in it. He had a habit of encountering ideas during his quiet meals.

After this, he was busy at the sink scrubbing the dishes, when he was surprised by feeling two very competent arms surround him, and a pink gingham apron was thrown over his head. "Mifflin," said his wife, "how many times have I told you to put on an apron when you wash up!"

After this, he was at the sink scrubbing the dishes when he was surprised to feel two strong arms wrap around him, and a pink gingham apron was tossed over his head. "Mifflin," his wife said, "how many times have I told you to wear an apron while you wash the dishes!"

They greeted each other with the hearty, affectionate simplicity of those congenially wedded in middle age. Helen Mifflin was a buxom, healthy creature, rich in good sense and good humour, well nourished both in mind and body. She kissed Roger's bald head, tied the apron around his shrimpish person, and sat down on a kitchen chair to watch him finish wiping the china. Her cheeks were cool and ruddy from the keen air, her face lit with the tranquil satisfaction of those who have sojourned in the comfortable city of Boston.

They greeted each other with the warm, affectionate simplicity typical of happily married couples in middle age. Helen Mifflin was a robust, healthy woman, full of common sense and humor, well-fed in both mind and body. She kissed Roger's bald head, tied an apron around his slim frame, and sat down on a kitchen chair to watch him finish drying the dishes. Her cheeks were cool and rosy from the crisp air, and her face radiated the calm satisfaction of those who have spent time in the comfortable city of Boston.

"Well, my dear," said Roger, "this makes it a real Thanksgiving. You look as plump and full of matter as The Home Book of Verse."

"Well, my dear," said Roger, "this makes it a real Thanksgiving. You look as plump and full of substance as The Home Book of Verse."

"I've had a stunning time," she said, patting Bock who stood at her knee, imbibing the familiar and mysterious fragrance by which dogs identify their human friends. "I haven't even heard of a book for three weeks. I did stop in at the Old Angle Book Shop yesterday, just to say hullo to Joe Jillings. He says all booksellers are crazy, but that you are the craziest of the lot. He wants to know if you're bankrupt yet."

"I've had an amazing time," she said, patting Bock who was at her knee, soaking in the familiar and mysterious scent that dogs use to recognize their human friends. "I haven't even heard about a book in three weeks. I did drop by the Old Angle Book Shop yesterday, just to say hi to Joe Jillings. He says all booksellers are nuts, but that you're the craziest of them all. He wants to know if you're bankrupt yet."

Roger's slate-blue eyes twinkled. He hung up a cup in the china closet and lit his pipe before replying.

Roger's slate-blue eyes sparkled. He put a cup away in the china cabinet and lit his pipe before answering.

"What did you say?"

"What did you say?"

"I said that our shop was haunted, and mustn't be supposed to come under the usual conditions of the trade."

"I mentioned that our shop was haunted and shouldn't be thought of like any regular store."

"Bully for you! And what did Joe say to that?"

"Bully for you! And what did Joe say to that?"

"'Haunted by the nuts!'"

"Haunted by the nuts!"

"Well," said Roger, "when literature goes bankrupt I'm willing to go with it. Not till then. But by the way, we're going to be haunted by a beauteous damsel pretty soon. You remember my telling you that Mr. Chapman wants to send his daughter to work in the shop? Well, here's a letter I had from him this morning."

"Well," Roger said, "I'm ready to let literature fade away when it does. Not before that. But by the way, we're going to be visited by a beautiful girl pretty soon. You remember I mentioned that Mr. Chapman wants to send his daughter to work in the shop? Well, here's a letter I got from him this morning."

He rummaged in his pocket, and produced the following, which Mrs. Mifflin read:

He dug through his pocket and pulled out the following, which Mrs. Mifflin read:


DEAR MR. MIFFLIN,

Dear Mr. Mifflin,

I am so delighted that you and Mrs. Mifflin are willing to try the experiment of taking my daughter as an apprentice. Titania is really a very charming girl, and if only we can get some of the "finishing school" nonsense out of her head she will make a fine woman. She has had (it was my fault, not hers) the disadvantage of being brought up, or rather brought down, by having every possible want and whim gratified. Out of kindness for herself and her future husband, if she should have one, I want her to learn a little about earning a living. She is nearly nineteen, and I told her if she would try the bookshop job for a while I would take her to Europe for a year afterward.

I’m really happy that you and Mrs. Mifflin are willing to let my daughter be your apprentice. Titania is a truly lovely girl, and if we can just get rid of some of that “finishing school” nonsense in her head, she’ll grow into a wonderful woman. She’s had (and I take the blame for this) the disadvantage of having all her wants and whims fulfilled while growing up. For her own good and for the benefit of her future husband, if she ends up with one, I’d like her to learn a bit about making a living. She’s almost nineteen, and I told her that if she gives the bookshop job a shot, I’d take her to Europe for a year afterward.

As I explained to you, I want her to think she is really earning her way. Of course I don't want the routine to be too hard for her, but I do want her to get some idea of what it means to face life on one's own. If you will pay her ten dollars a week as a beginner, and deduct her board from that, I will pay you twenty dollars a week, privately, for your responsibility in caring for her and keeping your and Mrs. Mifflin's friendly eyes on her. I'm coming round to the Corn Cob meeting to-morrow night, and we can make the final arrangements.

As I told you, I want her to feel like she's actually earning her keep. Of course, I don’t want the routine to be too tough for her, but I want her to understand what it’s like to face life independently. If you could pay her ten dollars a week as a beginner and deduct her board from that, I’ll give you twenty dollars a week, on the side, for taking care of her and keeping an eye on her, as well as Mrs. Mifflin. I’ll be coming to the Corn Cob meeting tomorrow night, and we can finalize everything then.

Luckily, she is very fond of books, and I really think she is looking forward to the adventure with much anticipation. I overheard her saying to one of her friends yesterday that she was going to do some "literary work" this winter. That's the kind of nonsense I want her to outgrow. When I hear her say that she's got a job in a bookstore, I'll know she's cured.

Luckily, she really loves books, and I genuinely believe she's excited about the adventure ahead. I heard her telling one of her friends yesterday that she plans to do some "literary work" this winter. That's the kind of nonsense I hope she outgrows. When I hear her say that she's got a job in a bookstore, I'll know she's all better.

Cordially yours,
    GEORGE CHAPMAN.

Sincerely,
    GEORGE CHAPMAN.


"Well?" said Roger, as Mrs. Mifflin made no comment. "Don't you think it will be rather interesting to get a naive young girl's reactions toward the problems of our tranquil existence?"

"Well?" Roger asked, since Mrs. Mifflin didn't say anything. "Don't you think it will be pretty interesting to see a naive young girl's reactions to the issues of our peaceful lives?"

"Roger, you blessed innocent!" cried his wife. "Life will no longer be tranquil with a girl of nineteen round the place. You may fool yourself, but you can't fool me. A girl of nineteen doesn't REACT toward things. She explodes. Things don't 'react' anywhere but in Boston and in chemical laboratories. I suppose you know you're taking a human bombshell into the arsenal?"

"Roger, you naive fool!" his wife shouted. "Life won’t be peaceful with a nineteen-year-old around. You might be trying to convince yourself, but you can't trick me. A girl of nineteen doesn’t just 'react' to things; she blows up. Reactions only happen in Boston and in science labs. I guess you realize you’re bringing a human bomb into the mix?"

Roger looked dubious. "I remember something in Weir of Hermiston about a girl being 'an explosive engine,'" he said. "But I don't see that she can do any very great harm round here. We're both pretty well proof against shell shock. The worst that could happen would be if she got hold of my private copy of Fireside Conversation in the Age of Queen Elizabeth. Remind me to lock it up somewhere, will you?"

Roger looked skeptical. "I remember something in Weir of Hermiston about a girl being 'an explosive engine,'" he said. "But I don't think she can do any serious damage around here. We're both pretty resilient against shell shock. The worst that could happen is if she got her hands on my personal copy of Fireside Conversation in the Age of Queen Elizabeth. Remind me to lock it up somewhere, okay?"

This secret masterpiece by Mark Twain was one of the bookseller's treasures. Not even Helen had ever been permitted to read it; and she had shrewdly judged that it was not in her line, for though she knew perfectly well where he kept it (together with his life insurance policy, some Liberty Bonds, an autograph letter from Charles Spencer Chaplin, and a snapshot of herself taken on their honeymoon) she had never made any attempt to examine it.

This hidden gem by Mark Twain was one of the bookseller's prized possessions. Not even Helen had ever been allowed to read it; and she had wisely figured that it wasn’t really her thing, because even though she knew exactly where he kept it (alongside his life insurance policy, some Liberty Bonds, an autograph letter from Charles Spencer Chaplin, and a snapshot of herself taken on their honeymoon) she had never bothered to check it out.

"Well," said Helen; "Titania or no Titania, if the Corn Cobs want their chocolate cake to-night, I must get busy. Take my suitcase upstairs like a good fellow."

"Well," said Helen, "whether it’s Titania or not, if the Corn Cobs want their chocolate cake tonight, I need to get to work. Please take my suitcase upstairs, would you?"


A gathering of booksellers is a pleasant sanhedrim to attend. The members of this ancient craft bear mannerisms and earmarks just as definitely recognizable as those of the cloak and suit business or any other trade. They are likely to be a little—shall we say—worn at the bindings, as becomes men who have forsaken worldly profit to pursue a noble calling ill rewarded in cash. They are possibly a trifle embittered, which is an excellent demeanour for mankind in the face of inscrutable heaven. Long experience with publishers' salesmen makes them suspicious of books praised between the courses of a heavy meal.

A gathering of booksellers is a nice meeting to attend. The members of this age-old profession have quirks and traits that are just as recognizable as those in the clothing industry or any other trade. They might be a bit—how should we put it—worn around the edges, as fits people who have chosen passion over profit in a field that doesn’t pay much. They might be slightly cynical, which is a fine attitude for people dealing with the mysteries of life. Years of dealing with publishers' salespeople make them wary of books that get praise during a big meal.

When a publisher's salesman takes you out to dinner, it is not surprising if the conversation turns toward literature about the time the last of the peas are being harried about the plate. But, as Jerry Gladfist says (he runs a shop up on Thirty-Eighth Street) the publishers' salesmen supply a long-felt want, for they do now and then buy one a dinner the like of which no bookseller would otherwise be likely to commit.

When a publisher's sales rep takes you out to dinner, it’s not surprising if the conversation shifts to literature while you’re finishing the last of the peas on your plate. But, as Jerry Gladfist says (he runs a shop on Thirty-Eighth Street), the publishers' sales reps serve a long-standing need, because they occasionally treat you to a dinner that no bookseller would normally treat themselves to.

"Well, gentlemen," said Roger as his guests assembled in his little cabinet, "it's a cold evening. Pull up toward the fire. Make free with the cider. The cake's on the table. My wife came back from Boston specially to make it."

"Well, everyone," said Roger as his guests gathered in his small room, "it's a chilly evening. Come closer to the fire. Help yourselves to the cider. The cake’s on the table. My wife came back from Boston just to make it."

"Here's Mrs. Mifflin's health!" said Mr. Chapman, a quiet little man who had a habit of listening to what he heard. "I hope she doesn't mind keeping the shop while we celebrate?"

"Here’s to Mrs. Mifflin’s health!" said Mr. Chapman, a quiet little man who had a knack for eavesdropping. "I hope she doesn’t mind holding down the shop while we celebrate?"

"Not a bit," said Roger. "She enjoys it."

"Not at all," Roger said. "She loves it."

"I see Tarzan of the Apes is running at the Gissing Street movie palace," said Gladfist. "Great stuff. Have you seen it?"

"I see Tarzan of the Apes is playing at the Gissing Street movie theater," said Gladfist. "Awesome. Have you checked it out?"

"Not while I can still read The Jungle Book," said Roger.

"Not while I can still read The Jungle Book," said Roger.

"You make me tired with that talk about literature," cried Jerry. "A book's a book, even if Harold Bell Wright wrote it."

"You’re exhausting me with your talk about literature," Jerry exclaimed. "A book is just a book, even if Harold Bell Wright wrote it."

"A book's a book if you enjoy reading it," amended Meredith, from a big Fifth Avenue bookstore. "Lots of people enjoy Harold Bell Wright just as lots of people enjoy tripe. Either of them would kill me. But let's be tolerant."

"A book's a book if you like reading it," replied Meredith, from a big Fifth Avenue bookstore. "Lots of people enjoy Harold Bell Wright just like lots of people enjoy tripe. Either of them would drive me crazy. But let's be open-minded."

"Your argument is a whole succession of non sequiturs," said Jerry, stimulated by the cider to unusual brilliance.

"Your argument is just a series of unrelated points," Jerry said, feeling unusually sharp thanks to the cider.

"That's a long putt," chuckled Benson, the dealer in rare books and first editions.

"That's a long putt," Benson laughed, the dealer in rare books and first editions.

"What I mean is this," said Jerry. "We aren't literary critics. It's none of our business to say what's good and what isn't. Our job is simply to supply the public with the books it wants when it wants them. How it comes to want the books it does is no concern of ours."

"What I mean is this," said Jerry. "We aren't literary critics. It's not our place to say what's good and what isn't. Our job is just to provide the public with the books it wants when it wants them. How it comes to want the books it does is not our concern."

"You're the guy that calls bookselling the worst business in the world," said Roger warmly, "and you're the kind of guy that makes it so. I suppose you would say that it is no concern of the bookseller to try to increase the public appetite for books?"

"You're the guy who says bookselling is the worst business in the world," Roger said kindly, "and you're the kind of person who makes it true. I guess you'd say it's not the bookseller's job to try to boost people's interest in books?"

"Appetite is too strong a word," said Jerry. "As far as books are concerned the public is barely able to sit up and take a little liquid nourishment. Solid foods don't interest it. If you try to cram roast beef down the gullet of an invalid you'll kill him. Let the public alone, and thank God when it comes round to amputate any of its hard-earned cash."

"Appetite is too strong a word," said Jerry. "When it comes to books, the public can barely manage to take in a little light reading. They’re not interested in anything substantial. If you try to force-feed an invalid roast beef, you'll end up harming them. Just leave the public be, and be grateful when they’re willing to spend any of their hard-earned money."

"Well, take it on the lowest basis," said Roger. "I haven't any facts to go upon——"

"Well, look at it from the simplest perspective," said Roger. "I don't have any facts to work with—"

"You never have," interjected Jerry.

"You never have," Jerry interrupted.

"But I'd like to bet that the Trade has made more money out of Bryce's American Commonwealth than it ever did out of all Parson Wright's books put together."

"But I'd bet that the Trade has made more money from Bryce's American Commonwealth than it ever did from all of Parson Wright's books combined."

"What of it? Why shouldn't they make both?"

"What about it? Why shouldn't they create both?"

This preliminary tilt was interrupted by the arrival of two more visitors, and Roger handed round mugs of cider, pointed to the cake and the basket of pretzels, and lit his corn-cob pipe. The new arrivals were Quincy and Fruehling; the former a clerk in the book department of a vast drygoods store, the latter the owner of a bookshop in the Hebrew quarter of Grand Street—one of the best-stocked shops in the city, though little known to uptown book-lovers.

This initial conversation was interrupted by the arrival of two more guests, and Roger passed around mugs of cider, gestured to the cake and the basket of pretzels, and lit his corn-cob pipe. The new arrivals were Quincy and Fruehling; Quincy worked as a clerk in the book department of a large dry goods store, while Fruehling owned a bookshop in the Hebrew quarter on Grand Street—one of the best-stocked shops in the city, though not well-known to uptown book lovers.

"Well," said Fruehling, his bright dark eyes sparkling above richly tinted cheek-bones and bushy beard, "what's the argument?"

"Well," said Fruehling, his bright dark eyes shining above his nicely colored cheekbones and bushy beard, "what's the argument?"

"The usual one," said Gladfist, grinning, "Mifflin confusing merchandise with metaphysics."

"The usual one," said Gladfist, grinning, "Mifflin mixing up products with philosophy."

MIFFLIN—Not at all. I am simply saying that it is good business to sell only the best.

MIFFLIN—Not at all. I’m just saying that it makes good business sense to sell only the best.

GLADFIST—Wrong again. You must select your stock according to your customers. Ask Quincy here. Would there be any sense in his loading up his shelves with Maeterlinck and Shaw when the department-store trade wants Eleanor Porter and the Tarzan stuff? Does a country grocer carry the same cigars that are listed on the wine card of a Fifth Avenue hotel? Of course not. He gets in the cigars that his trade enjoys and is accustomed to. Bookselling must obey the ordinary rules of commerce.

GLADFIST—You're wrong again. You need to choose your stock based on your customers. Just ask Quincy here. Would it make sense for him to fill his shelves with Maeterlinck and Shaw when the department-store crowd wants Eleanor Porter and the Tarzan books? Does a rural grocery store carry the same cigars that are on the wine list of a fancy Fifth Avenue hotel? Of course not. He stocks the cigars that his customers like and are used to. Bookselling has to follow standard business principles.

MIFFLIN—A fig for the ordinary rules of commerce! I came over here to Gissing Street to get away from them. My mind would blow out its fuses if I had to abide by the dirty little considerations of supply and demand. As far as I am concerned, supply CREATES demand.

MIFFLIN—Forget the usual rules of business! I came over here to Gissing Street to escape them. My mind would short-circuit if I had to deal with the petty concerns of supply and demand. As far as I'm concerned, supply CREATES demand.

GLADFIST—Still, old chap, you have to abide by the dirty little consideration of earning a living, unless someone has endowed you?

GLADFIST—Still, buddy, you have to deal with the unpleasant reality of making a living, unless someone has supported you?

BENSON—Of course my line of business isn't strictly the same as you fellows'. But a thought that has often occurred to me in selling rare editions may interest you. The customer's willingness to part with his money is usually in inverse ratio to the permanent benefit he expects to derive from what he purchases.

BENSON—Of course, my line of work isn’t exactly the same as yours. But a thought that I’ve often had while selling rare editions might interest you. The customer’s willingness to spend money is usually less when they expect to gain long-term benefits from what they buy.

MEREDITH—Sounds a bit like John Stuart Mill.

MEREDITH—Sounds a bit like John Stuart Mill.

BENSON—Even so, it may be true. Folks will pay a darned sight more to be amused than they will to be exalted. Look at the way a man shells out five bones for a couple of theatre seats, or spends a couple of dollars a week on cigars without thinking of it. Yet two dollars or five dollars for a book costs him positive anguish. The mistake you fellows in the retail trade have made is in trying to persuade your customers that books are necessities. Tell them they're luxuries. That'll get them! People have to work so hard in this life they're shy of necessities. A man will go on wearing a suit until it's threadbare, much sooner than smoke a threadbare cigar.

BENSON—Even so, it might be true. People are willing to spend a lot more to be entertained than to be uplifted. Just look at how a guy drops five bucks for a couple of theater seats or spends a few dollars a week on cigars without a second thought. But spending two or five dollars on a book makes him feel genuinely stressed. The mistake you folks in retail have made is trying to convince your customers that books are necessities. Tell them they're luxuries. That’ll hook them! People work so hard these days that they shy away from necessities. A man will keep wearing a suit until it’s falling apart, long before he’ll smoke a worn-out cigar.

GLADFIST—Not a bad thought. You know, Mifflin here calls me a material-minded cynic, but by thunder, I think I'm more idealistic than he is. I'm no propagandist incessantly trying to cajole poor innocent customers into buying the kind of book _I_ think they ought to buy. When I see the helpless pathos of most of them, who drift into a bookstore without the slightest idea of what they want or what is worth reading, I would disdain to take advantage of their frailty. They are absolutely at the mercy of the salesman. They will buy whatever he tells them to. Now the honourable man, the high-minded man (by which I mean myself) is too proud to ram some shimmering stuff at them just because he thinks they ought to read it. Let the boobs blunder around and grab what they can. Let natural selection operate. I think it is fascinating to watch them, to see their helpless groping, and to study the weird ways in which they make their choice. Usually they will buy a book either because they think the jacket is attractive, or because it costs a dollar and a quarter instead of a dollar and a half, or because they say they saw a review of it. The "review" usually turns out to be an ad. I don't think one book-buyer in a thousand knows the difference.

GLADFIST—Not a bad idea. You know, Mifflin here calls me a cynical materialist, but honestly, I think I'm more of an idealist than he is. I'm not the type to constantly try to persuade clueless customers into buying the kind of book _I_ think they should read. When I see the helplessness of most of them, who wander into a bookstore with no idea of what they want or what's worth reading, I wouldn't dream of taking advantage of their vulnerability. They are completely at the mercy of the salesperson. They will buy whatever he tells them to. Now the honorable man, the principled man (meaning me) is too proud to push some flashy book on them just because he thinks it's something they should read. Let the clueless fumble around and grab whatever they can. Let natural selection do its thing. I find it fascinating to watch them, to see their aimless searching, and to observe the strange ways they make their choices. Usually, they'll buy a book because they like the cover, or because it costs a dollar twenty-five instead of a dollar fifty, or because they claim they saw a review of it. The "review" usually turns out to be an ad. I doubt one book buyer in a thousand knows the difference.

MIFFLIN—Your doctrine is pitiless, base, and false! What would you think of a physician who saw men suffering from a curable disease and did nothing to alleviate their sufferings?

MIFFLIN—Your beliefs are ruthless, despicable, and incorrect! What would you think of a doctor who watched people suffering from a treatable illness and did nothing to ease their pain?

GLADFIST—Their sufferings (as you call them) are nothing to what mine would be if I stocked up with a lot of books that no one but highbrows would buy. What would you think of a base public that would go past my shop day after day and let the high-minded occupant die of starvation?

GLADFIST—Their struggles (as you call them) are nothing compared to what mine would be if I filled my store with books that only elitists would purchase. What would you think of a lowly public that walks past my shop day after day while the noble owner starves?

MIFFLIN—Your ailment, Jerry, is that you conceive yourself as merely a tradesman. What I'm telling you is that the bookseller is a public servant. He ought to be pensioned by the state. The honour of his profession should compel him to do all he can to spread the distribution of good stuff.

MIFFLIN—Your problem, Jerry, is that you see yourself as just a tradesman. What I'm saying is that a bookseller is a public servant. He should be supported by the state. The dignity of his profession should drive him to do everything he can to promote the spread of quality literature.

QUINCY—I think you forget how much we who deal chiefly in new books are at the mercy of the publishers. We have to stock the new stuff, a large proportion of which is always punk. Why it is punk, goodness knows, because most of the bum books don't sell.

QUINCY—I think you forget how much we who mostly handle new books depend on the publishers. We have to carry the latest titles, a significant portion of which is always terrible. Why it's terrible, who knows, because most of the bad books don’t sell.

MIFFLIN—Ah, that is a mystery indeed! But I can give you a fair reason. First, because there isn't enough good stuff to go round. Second, because of the ignorance of the publishers, many of whom honestly don't know a good book when they see it. It is a matter of sheer heedlessness in the selection of what they intend to publish. A big drug factory or a manufacturer of a well-known jam spends vast sums of money on chemically assaying and analyzing the ingredients that are to go into his medicines or in gathering and selecting the fruit that is to be stewed into jam. And yet they tell me that the most important department of a publishing business, which is the gathering and sampling of manuscripts, is the least considered and the least remunerated. I knew a reader for one publishing house: he was a babe recently out of college who didn't know a book from a frat pin. If a jam factory employs a trained chemist, why isn't it worth a publisher's while to employ an expert book analyzer? There are some of them. Look at the fellow who runs the Pacific Monthly's book business for example! He knows a thing or two.

MIFFLIN—Ah, that's quite a mystery! But I can offer you a decent explanation. First, there simply isn't enough quality material available. Second, many publishers are clueless and honestly can’t recognize a good book when they see one. They completely overlook the importance of choosing what they plan to publish. A major pharmaceutical company or a well-known jam brand invests a lot of money into testing and analyzing the ingredients for their products. Yet, I’ve been told that the most crucial part of a publishing business—collecting and reviewing manuscripts—gets the least attention and compensation. I once knew a reader for a publishing company; he was a recent college grad who couldn’t tell a good book from a fraternity pin. If a jam factory can afford to hire a trained chemist, why aren’t publishers willing to hire an expert book analyst? There are some out there. Just look at the guy managing the book department at Pacific Monthly, for instance! He really knows his stuff.

CHAPMAN—I think perhaps you exaggerate the value of those trained experts. They are likely to be fourflushers. We had one once at our factory, and as far as I could make out he never thought we were doing good business except when we were losing money.

CHAPMAN—I think you might be overstating the worth of those trained experts. They tend to be full of hot air. We had one at our factory once, and from what I could tell, he only thought we were doing well when we were losing money.

MIFFLIN—As far as I have been able to observe, making money is the easiest thing in the world. All you have to do is to turn out an honest product, something that the public needs. Then you have to let them know that you have it, and teach them that they need it. They will batter down your front door in their eagerness to get it. But if you begin to hand them gold bricks, if you begin to sell them books built like an apartment house, all marble front and all brick behind, you're cutting your own throat, or rather cutting your own pocket, which is the same thing.

MIFFLIN—From what I've seen, making money is the easiest thing in the world. All you have to do is offer a genuine product that people actually need. Then, you need to let them know you have it and show them why they need it. They'll almost break down your door to get it. But if you start giving them fake products, or if you sell them books that look great on the outside but are cheap on the inside, you're only harming yourself financially, which is basically the same thing.

MEREDITH—I think Mifflin's right. You know the kind of place our shop is: a regular Fifth Avenue store, all plate glass front and marble columns glowing in the indirect lighting like a birchwood at full moon. We sell hundreds of dollars' worth of bunkum every day because people ask for it; but I tell you we do it with reluctance. It's rather the custom in our shop to scoff at the book-buying public and call them boobs, but they really want good books—the poor souls don't know how to get them. Still, Jerry has a certain grain of truth to his credit. I get ten times more satisfaction in selling a copy of Newton's The Amenities of Book-Collecting than I do in selling a copy of—well, Tarzan; but it's poor business to impose your own private tastes on your customers. All you can do is to hint them along tactfully, when you get a chance, toward the stuff that counts.

MEREDITH—I think Mifflin's right. You know what our shop is like: a typical Fifth Avenue store, with plate glass windows and marble columns shining in the soft lighting like birch trees in full moonlight. We sell hundreds of dollars' worth of nonsense every day because people ask for it; but I tell you we do it reluctantly. It's kind of a tradition in our shop to mock the book-buying public and call them clueless, but they really do want good books—the poor souls just don’t know how to find them. Still, Jerry has a point. I get ten times more satisfaction from selling a copy of Newton's The Amenities of Book-Collecting than I do from selling something like—well, Tarzan; but it's poor business to push your own tastes on your customers. All you can really do is gently guide them toward the good stuff when you get the chance.

QUINCY—You remind me of something that happened in our book department the other day. A flapper came in and said she had forgotten the name of the book she wanted, but it was something about a young man who had been brought up by the monks. I was stumped. I tried her with The Cloister and the Hearth and Monastery Bells and Legends of the Monastic Orders and so on, but her face was blank. Then one of the salesgirls overheard us talking, and she guessed it right off the bat. Of course it was Tarzan.

QUINCY—You remind me of something that happened in our book department the other day. A flapper came in and said she had forgotten the name of the book she wanted, but it was something about a young man who was raised by monks. I was stumped. I tried suggesting The Cloister and the Hearth, Monastery Bells, and Legends of the Monastic Orders, but her expression was blank. Then one of the salesgirls overheard our conversation and guessed it right away. Of course, it was Tarzan.

MIFFLIN—You poor simp, there was your chance to introduce her to Mowgli and the bandar-log.

MIFFLIN—You poor fool, that was your chance to introduce her to Mowgli and the bandar-log.

QUINCY—True—I didn't think of it.

QUINCY—True—I didn't consider it.

MIFFLIN—I'd like to get you fellows' ideas about advertising. There was a young chap in here the other day from an advertising agency, trying to get me to put some copy in the papers. Have you found that it pays?

MIFFLIN—I'd like to hear your thoughts on advertising. There was a young guy here the other day from an advertising agency, trying to get me to place some ads in the newspapers. Have you found it to be worth it?

FRUEHLING—It always pays—somebody. The only question is, does it pay the man who pays for the ad?

FRUEHLING—It always benefits someone. The only question is, does it benefit the person who pays for the ad?

MEREDITH—What do you mean?

MEREDITH—What do you mean by that?

FRUEHLING—Did you ever consider the problem of what I call tangential advertising? By that I mean advertising that benefits your rival rather than yourself? Take an example. On Sixth Avenue there is a lovely delicatessen shop, but rather expensive. Every conceivable kind of sweetmeat and relish is displayed in the brightly lit window. When you look at that window it simply makes your mouth water. You decide to have something to eat. But do you get it there? Not much! You go a little farther down the street and get it at the Automat or the Crystal Lunch. The delicatessen fellow pays the overhead expense of that beautiful food exhibit, and the other man gets the benefit of it. It's the same way in my business. I'm in a factory district, where people can't afford to have any but the best books. (Meredith will bear me out in saying that only the wealthy can afford the poor ones.) They read the book ads in the papers and magazines, the ads of Meredith's shop and others, and then they come to me to buy them. I believe in advertising, but I believe in letting someone else pay for it.

FRUEHLING—Have you ever thought about what I call tangential advertising? By that, I mean advertising that benefits your competitor instead of you. Take this example: there's a nice delicatessen on Sixth Avenue, but it's pretty pricey. Every kind of treat and appetizer is showcased in the brightly lit window. Just looking at it makes your mouth water. You decide to grab a bite, but do you actually get it there? Not really! You walk a bit further down the street and get your food at the Automat or Crystal Lunch instead. The delicatessen owner covers the costs of that gorgeous food display, while the other guy gets the business. It's the same in my line of work. I’m located in a factory area, where people can only afford the best books. (Meredith would agree that only the wealthy can afford the mediocre ones.) They see book ads in newspapers and magazines, including ads from Meredith's shop and others, and then they come to me to buy them. I believe in advertising, but I think someone else should pay for it.

MIFFLIN—I guess perhaps I can afford to go on riding on Meredith's ads. I hadn't thought of that. But I think I shall put a little notice in one of the papers some day, just a little card saying

MIFFLIN—I guess I can probably keep riding on Meredith's ads. I hadn't considered that. But I think I’ll put a small notice in one of the papers someday, just a little card saying


                         PARNASSUS AT HOME
                         GOOD BOOKS BOUGHT
                             AND SOLD
                        THIS SHOP IS HAUNTED
                         PARNASSUS AT HOME
                         GREAT BOOKS BOUGHT
                             AND SOLD
                        THIS STORE IS HAUNTED

It will be fun to see what come-back I get.

It'll be interesting to see what reply I get.

QUINCY—The book section of a department store doesn't get much chance to enjoy that tangential advertising, as Fruehling calls it. Why, when our interior decorating shark puts a few volumes of a pirated Kipling bound in crushed oilcloth or a copy of "Knock-kneed Stories," into the window to show off a Louis XVIII boudoir suite, display space is charged up against my department! Last summer he asked me for "something by that Ring fellow, I forget the name," to put a punchy finish on a layout of porch furniture. I thought perhaps he meant Wagner's Nibelungen operas, and began to dig them out. Then I found he meant Ring Lardner.

QUINCY—The book section of a department store doesn't really get the chance to benefit from that indirect advertising, as Fruehling calls it. Why, when our interior decorating expert puts a few volumes of a pirated Kipling bound in crushed oilcloth or a copy of "Knock-kneed Stories" in the window to showcase a Louis XVIII boudoir suite, display space is counted against my department! Last summer he asked me for "something by that Ring guy, I can't remember the name," to give a bold finish to a layout of porch furniture. I thought maybe he meant Wagner's Nibelungen operas and started to dig them out. Then I realized he meant Ring Lardner.

GLADFIST—There you are. I keep telling you bookselling is an impossible job for a man who loves literature. When did a bookseller ever make any real contribution to the world's happiness?

GLADFIST—There you are. I keep saying that being a bookseller is an impossible job for someone who loves literature. When has a bookseller ever made a real difference in the world's happiness?

MIFFLIN—Dr. Johnson's father was a bookseller.

MIFFLIN—Dr. Johnson's dad was a bookseller.

GLADFIST—Yes, and couldn't afford to pay for Sam's education.

GLADFIST—Yes, and couldn’t afford to pay for Sam’s education.

FRUEHLING—There's another kind of tangential advertising that interests me. Take, for instance, a Coles Phillips painting for some brand of silk stockings. Of course the high lights of the picture are cunningly focussed on the stockings of the eminently beautiful lady; but there is always something else in the picture—an automobile or a country house or a Morris chair or a parasol—which makes it just as effective an ad for those goods as it is for the stockings. Every now and then Phillips sticks a book into his paintings, and I expect the Fifth Avenue book trade benefits by it. A book that fits the mind as well as a silk stocking does the ankle will be sure to sell.

FRUEHLING—There's another type of indirect advertising that I find fascinating. Take, for example, a Coles Phillips painting for a brand of silk stockings. Sure, the highlights of the picture cleverly focus on the stockings of the incredibly beautiful woman; but there's always something else in the image—like a car, a country house, a Morris chair, or a parasol—that makes it just as effective an advertisement for those items as it is for the stockings. Every now and then, Phillips includes a book in his paintings, and I bet the Fifth Avenue book trade benefits from that. A book that appeals to the mind as perfectly as a silk stocking appeals to the ankle is bound to sell well.

MIFFLIN—You are all crass materialists. I tell you, books are the depositories of the human spirit, which is the only thing in this world that endures. What was it Shakespeare said—

MIFFLIN—You’re all just shallow materialists. I’m telling you, books hold the essence of the human spirit, which is the only thing that lasts in this world. What did Shakespeare say—


Not marble nor the gilded monuments
Of princes shall outlive this powerful rhyme—

Not marble or the gold-plated monuments
Of princes will outlast this powerful poem—


By the bones of the Hohenzollerns, he was right! And wait a minute! There's something in Carlyle's Cromwell that comes back to me.

By the bones of the Hohenzollerns, he was right! And hold on a second! There's something in Carlyle's Cromwell that I remember.

He ran excitedly out of the room, and the members of the Corn Cob fraternity grinned at each other. Gladfist cleaned his pipe and poured out some more cider. "He's off on his hobby," he chuckled. "I love baiting him."

He rushed out of the room with excitement, and the members of the Corn Cob fraternity exchanged grins. Gladfist cleaned his pipe and poured more cider. "He's off on his hobby," he chuckled. "I love teasing him."

"Speaking of Carlyle's Cromwell," said Fruehling, "that's a book I don't often hear asked for. But a fellow came in the other day hunting for a copy, and to my chagrin I didn't have one. I rather pride myself on keeping that sort of thing in stock. So I called up Brentano's to see if I could pick one up, and they told me they had just sold the only copy they had. Somebody must have been boosting Thomas! Maybe he's quoted in Tarzan, or somebody has bought up the film rights."

"Speaking of Carlyle's Cromwell," said Fruehling, "that's a book I don't hear people asking for very often. But a guy came in the other day looking for a copy, and to my disappointment, I didn't have one. I take pride in keeping that kind of thing in stock. So I called up Brentano's to see if I could grab one, and they told me they had just sold the only copy they had. Someone must have been promoting Thomas! Maybe he's quoted in Tarzan, or someone has purchased the film rights."

Mifflin came in, looking rather annoyed.

Mifflin walked in, appearing quite irritated.

"Here's an odd thing," he said. "I know damn well that copy of Cromwell was on the shelf because I saw it there last night. It's not there now."

"Here's something weird," he said. "I know for sure that copy of Cromwell was on the shelf because I saw it there last night. It's not there now."

"That's nothing," said Quincy. "You know how people come into a second-hand store, see a book they take a fancy to but don't feel like buying just then, and tuck it away out of sight or on some other shelf where they think no one else will spot it, but they'll be able to find it when they can afford it. Probably someone's done that with your Cromwell."

"That's nothing," Quincy said. "You know how people go into a second-hand store, see a book they like but aren't ready to buy at the moment, and hide it out of sight or put it on a different shelf where they think no one else will find it, thinking they'll come back for it when they can afford it? Someone's probably done that with your Cromwell."

"Maybe, but I doubt it," said Mifflin. "Mrs. Mifflin says she didn't sell it this evening. I woke her up to ask her. She was dozing over her knitting at the desk. I guess she's tired after her trip."

"Maybe, but I doubt it," Mifflin said. "Mrs. Mifflin says she didn't sell it this evening. I woke her up to ask her. She was dozing off over her knitting at the desk. I guess she's tired after her trip."

"I'm sorry to miss the Carlyle quotation," said Benson. "What was the gist?"

"I'm sorry I missed the Carlyle quote," said Benson. "What was it about?"

"I think I've got it jotted down in a notebook," said Roger, hunting along a shelf. "Yes, here it is." He read aloud:

"I think I have it written down in a notebook," said Roger, searching along a shelf. "Yes, here it is." He read aloud:

"The works of a man, bury them under what guano-mountains and obscene owl-droppings you will, do not perish, cannot perish. What of Heroism, what of Eternal Light was in a Man and his Life, is with very great exactness added to the Eternities, remains forever a new divine portion of the Sum of Things.

"The achievements of a person, no matter how much you try to cover them with piles of dung and disgusting owl droppings, do not disappear; they cannot disappear. What was heroic, what was eternally significant about a person and their life, is precisely added to the eternal realm, becoming an everlasting, new, divine part of the greater whole."


"Now, my friends, the bookseller is one of the keys in that universal adding machine, because he aids in the cross-fertilization of men and books. His delight in his calling doesn't need to be stimulated even by the bright shanks of a Coles Phillips picture.

"Now, my friends, the bookseller is one of the keys in that universal adding machine because he helps connect people and books. His passion for his work doesn’t even need to be sparked by a flashy Coles Phillips illustration."

"Roger, my boy," said Gladfist, "your innocent enthusiasm makes me think of Tom Daly's favourite story about the Irish priest who was rebuking his flock for their love of whisky. 'Whisky,' he said, 'is the bane of this congregation. Whisky, that steals away a man's brains. Whisky, that makes you shoot at landlords—and not hit them!' Even so, my dear Roger, your enthusiasm makes you shoot at truth and never come anywhere near it."

"Roger, my boy," said Gladfist, "your innocent enthusiasm reminds me of Tom Daly's favorite story about the Irish priest who was scolding his congregation for their love of whisky. 'Whisky,' he said, 'is the curse of this congregation. Whisky, that steals away a man's reason. Whisky, that makes you shoot at landlords—and miss them!' Still, my dear Roger, your enthusiasm makes you aim for the truth and never get close to it."

"Jerry," said Roger, "you are a upas tree. Your shadow is poisonous!"

"Jerry," Roger said, "you're like a upas tree. Your shadow is toxic!"

"Well, gentlemen," said Mr. Chapman, "I know Mrs. Mifflin wants to be relieved of her post. I vote we adjourn early. Your conversation is always delightful, though I am sometimes a bit uncertain as to the conclusions. My daughter is going to be a bookseller, and I shall look forward to hearing her views on the business."

"Well, gentlemen," said Mr. Chapman, "I know Mrs. Mifflin wants to step down from her position. I suggest we wrap things up early. Your discussions are always enjoyable, although I sometimes find the conclusions a bit unclear. My daughter is planning to become a bookseller, and I look forward to hearing her thoughts on the industry."

As the guests made their way out through the shop, Mr. Chapman drew Roger aside. "It's perfectly all right about sending Titania?" he asked.

As the guests left the shop, Mr. Chapman pulled Roger aside. "It's totally fine to send Titania?" he asked.

"Absolutely," said Roger. "When does she want to come?"

"Definitely," said Roger. "When does she want to come?"

"Is to-morrow too soon?"

"Is tomorrow too soon?"

"The sooner the better. We've got a little spare room upstairs that she can have. I've got some ideas of my own about furnishing it for her. Send her round to-morrow afternoon."

"The sooner, the better. We have a little extra room upstairs that she can use. I have some ideas for furnishing it for her. Send her over tomorrow afternoon."




Chapter III

Titania Arrives

The first pipe after breakfast is a rite of some importance to seasoned smokers, and Roger applied the flame to the bowl as he stood at the bottom of the stairs. He blew a great gush of strong blue reek that eddied behind him as he ran up the flight, his mind eagerly meditating the congenial task of arranging the little spare room for the coming employee. Then, at the top of the steps, he found that his pipe had already gone out. "What with filling my pipe and emptying it, lighting it and relighting it," he thought, "I don't seem to get much time for the serious concerns of life. Come to think of it, smoking, soiling dishes and washing them, talking and listening to other people talk, take up most of life anyway."

The first smoke after breakfast is a big deal for experienced smokers, and Roger lit his pipe as he stood at the bottom of the stairs. He exhaled a huge puff of strong blue smoke that swirled behind him as he ran up the stairs, his mind excitedly focused on the task of setting up the small spare room for the new employee. But when he reached the top of the steps, he realized his pipe had already gone out. "With filling my pipe and emptying it, lighting it and relighting it," he thought, "I don’t seem to have much time for the important things in life. Come to think of it, smoking, dirtying dishes and cleaning them, talking and listening to others talk, pretty much take up most of life anyway."

This theory rather pleased him, so he ran downstairs again to tell it to Mrs. Mifflin.

This theory really pleased him, so he rushed downstairs again to share it with Mrs. Mifflin.

"Go along and get that room fixed up," she said, "and don't try to palm off any bogus doctrines on me so early in the morning. Housewives have no time for philosophy after breakfast."

"Go ahead and get that room sorted out," she said, "and don’t try to feed me any fake theories so early in the morning. Housewives don’t have time for philosophy after breakfast."

Roger thoroughly enjoyed himself in the task of preparing the guest-room for the new assistant. It was a small chamber at the back of the second storey, opening on to a narrow passage that connected through a door with the gallery of the bookshop. Two small windows commanded a view of the modest roofs of that quarter of Brooklyn, roofs that conceal so many brave hearts, so many baby carriages, so many cups of bad coffee, and so many cartons of the Chapman prunes.

Roger had a great time getting the guest room ready for the new assistant. It was a small room at the back of the second floor, leading to a narrow hallway that connected through a door to the gallery of the bookstore. Two small windows offered a view of the simple roofs in that part of Brooklyn, roofs that hide so many brave souls, so many baby strollers, so many cups of bad coffee, and so many boxes of Chapman prunes.

"By the way," he called downstairs, "better have some of the prunes for supper to-night, just as a compliment to Miss Chapman."

"By the way," he called downstairs, "you might want to have some prunes for dinner tonight, just as a nod to Miss Chapman."

Mrs. Mifflin preserved a humorous silence.

Mrs. Mifflin kept a funny silence.

Over these noncommittal summits the bright eye of the bookseller, as he tacked up the freshly ironed muslin curtains Mrs. Mifflin had allotted, could discern a glimpse of the bay and the leviathan ferries that link Staten Island with civilization. "Just a touch of romance in the outlook," he thought to himself. "It will suffice to keep a blasee young girl aware of the excitements of existence."

Over these casual gatherings, the sharp eye of the bookseller, as he hung up the freshly ironed muslin curtains Mrs. Mifflin had assigned, could catch a glimpse of the bay and the giant ferries that connect Staten Island with the mainland. "Just a bit of romance in the view," he thought to himself. "It will be enough to keep a jaded young girl aware of the thrills of life."

The room, as might be expected in a house presided over by Helen Mifflin, was in perfect order to receive any occupant, but Roger had volunteered to psychologize it in such a fashion as (he thought) would convey favourable influences to the misguided young spirit that was to be its tenant. Incurable idealist, he had taken quite gravely his responsibility as landlord and employer of Mr. Chapman's daughter. No chambered nautilus was to have better opportunity to expand the tender mansions of its soul.

The room, as you'd expect in a house run by Helen Mifflin, was perfectly arranged to welcome any guest. However, Roger took it upon himself to psychologize the space in a way he believed would send positive vibes to the misguided young person who would be living there. An incurable idealist, he took his role as landlord and employer of Mr. Chapman's daughter very seriously. No chambered nautilus would have a better chance to grow the delicate spaces of its soul.

Beside the bed was a bookshelf with a reading lamp. The problem Roger was discussing was what books and pictures might be the best preachers to this congregation of one. To Mrs. Mifflin's secret amusement he had taken down the picture of Sir Galahad which he had once hung there, because (as he had said) if Sir Galahad were living to-day he would be a bookseller. "We don't want her feasting her imagination on young Galahads," he had remarked at breakfast. "That way lies premature matrimony. What I want to do is put up in her room one or two good prints representing actual men who were so delightful in their day that all the young men she is likely to see now will seem tepid and prehensile. Thus she will become disgusted with the present generation of youths and there will be some chance of her really putting her mind on the book business."

Beside the bed was a bookshelf with a reading lamp. The problem Roger was discussing was which books and pictures might be the best inspirations for this solitary audience. To Mrs. Mifflin's secret amusement, he had taken down the picture of Sir Galahad that he had once hung there, because (as he had said) if Sir Galahad were alive today, he would be a bookseller. "We don't want her daydreaming about young Galahads," he had commented at breakfast. "That way leads to early marriage. What I want to do is put up in her room one or two good prints of real men who were so charming in their time that all the young guys she’s likely to meet now will seem dull and unimpressive. This way, she’ll become disillusioned with the current generation of boys, and there’s a chance she’ll actually focus on the book business."

Accordingly he had spent some time in going through a bin where he kept photos and drawings of authors that the publishers' "publicity men" were always showering upon him. After some thought he discarded promising engravings of Harold Bell Wright and Stephen Leacock, and chose pictures of Shelley, Anthony Trollope, Robert Louis Stevenson, and Robert Burns. Then, after further meditation, he decided that neither Shelley nor Burns would quite do for a young girl's room, and set them aside in favour of a portrait of Samuel Butler. To these he added a framed text that he was very fond of and had hung over his own desk. He had once clipped it from a copy of Life and found much pleasure in it. It runs thus:

Accordingly, he spent some time going through a bin where he kept photos and drawings of authors that the publishers' "publicity guys" were always sending him. After some thought, he tossed aside promising engravings of Harold Bell Wright and Stephen Leacock, and picked pictures of Shelley, Anthony Trollope, Robert Louis Stevenson, and Robert Burns. Then, after further reflection, he decided that neither Shelley nor Burns would really suit a young girl's room, so he set them aside for a portrait of Samuel Butler. He also added a framed quote that he really liked and had hung over his own desk. He had once cut it out from a copy of Life and found a lot of pleasure in it. It goes like this:


ON THE RETURN OF A BOOK
LENT TO A FRIEND

I GIVE humble and hearty thanks for the safe return of this book which having endured the perils of my friend's bookcase, and the bookcases of my friend's friends, now returns to me in reasonably good condition.

I give sincere and heartfelt thanks for the safe return of this book, which has survived the dangers of my friend's bookshelf and the bookshelves of my friend's friends, and now comes back to me in pretty good shape.

I GIVE humble and hearty thanks that my friend did not see fit to give this book to his infant as a plaything, nor use it as an ash-tray for his burning cigar, nor as a teething-ring for his mastiff.

I give sincere and heartfelt thanks that my friend didn’t think it was appropriate to give this book to his baby as a toy, use it as an ashtray for his cigar, or let his dog use it as a teething ring.

WHEN I lent this book I deemed it as lost: I was resigned to the bitterness of the long parting: I never thought to look upon its pages again.

WHEN I lent this book, I thought it was lost for good: I accepted the pain of our long separation: I never expected to see its pages again.

BUT NOW that my book is come back to me, I rejoice and am exceeding glad! Bring hither the fatted morocco and let us rebind the volume and set it on the shelf of honour: for this my book was lent, and is returned again.

BUT NOW that my book has come back to me, I rejoice and am extremely glad! Bring over the fine morocco and let’s rebind the volume and place it on the shelf of honor: for this book was lent out, and has been returned to me.

PRESENTLY, therefore, I may return some of the books that I myself have borrowed.

PRESENTLY, I can return some of the books that I borrowed myself.


"There!" he thought. "That will convey to her the first element of book morality."

"There!" he thought. "That will show her the first principle of being righteous."

These decorations having been displayed on the walls, he bethought himself of the books that should stand on the bedside shelf.

These decorations were put up on the walls, and he thought about the books that should be on the bedside shelf.

This is a question that admits of the utmost nicety of discussion. Some authorities hold that the proper books for a guest-room are of a soporific quality that will induce swift and painless repose. This school advises The Wealth of Nations, Rome under the Caesars, The Statesman's Year Book, certain novels of Henry James, and The Letters of Queen Victoria (in three volumes). It is plausibly contended that books of this kind cannot be read (late at night) for more than a few minutes at a time, and that they afford useful scraps of information.

This is a question that calls for a very careful discussion. Some experts believe that the right books for a guest room should be of a calming nature that will promote quick and restful sleep. This group recommends titles like The Wealth of Nations, Rome under the Caesars, The Statesman's Year Book, some novels by Henry James, and The Letters of Queen Victoria (in three volumes). It’s argued that books like these can only be read (late at night) for short periods and that they provide helpful bits of information.

Another branch of opinion recommends for bedtime reading short stories, volumes of pithy anecdote, swift and sparkling stuff that may keep one awake for a space, yet will advantage all the sweeter slumber in the end. Even ghost stories and harrowing matter are maintained seasonable by these pundits. This class of reading comprises O. Henry, Bret Harte, Leonard Merrick, Ambrose Bierce, W. W. Jacobs, Daudet, de Maupassant, and possibly even On a Slow Train Through Arkansaw, that grievous classic of the railway bookstalls whereof its author, Mr. Thomas W. Jackson, has said "It will sell forever, and a thousand years afterward." To this might be added another of Mr. Jackson's onslaughts on the human intelligence, I'm From Texas, You Can't Steer Me, whereof is said (by the author) "It is like a hard-boiled egg, you can't beat it." There are other of Mr. Jackson's books, whose titles escape memory, whereof he has said "They are a dynamite for sorrow." Nothing used to annoy Mifflin more than to have someone come in and ask for copies of these works. His brother-in-law, Andrew McGill, the writer, once gave him for Christmas (just to annoy him) a copy of On a Slow Train Through Arkansaw sumptuously bound and gilded in what is known to the trade as "dove-coloured ooze." Roger retorted by sending Andrew (for his next birthday) two volumes of Brann the Iconoclast bound in what Robert Cortes Holliday calls "embossed toadskin." But that is apart from the story.

Another branch of opinion suggests bedtime reading should be short stories, collections of interesting anecdotes, quick and lively content that might keep you awake for a while but will ultimately enhance your sleep in the end. Even ghost stories and intense material are considered suitable by these experts. This category of reading includes O. Henry, Bret Harte, Leonard Merrick, Ambrose Bierce, W. W. Jacobs, Daudet, de Maupassant, and possibly even *On a Slow Train Through Arkansaw*, that enduring classic from railway bookstands, which its author, Mr. Thomas W. Jackson, claims "It will sell forever, and a thousand years later." Another one of Mr. Jackson's attacks on human intelligence, *I'm From Texas, You Can't Steer Me*, is described (by the author) as "It’s like a hard-boiled egg, you can't beat it." There are more titles by Mr. Jackson that I can’t remember, where he has said "They are dynamite for sorrow." Nothing annoyed Mifflin more than when someone would come in asking for these books. His brother-in-law, Andrew McGill, the writer, once gifted him a beautifully bound and gilded copy of *On a Slow Train Through Arkansaw* for Christmas (just to irritate him). Roger responded by sending Andrew (for his next birthday) two volumes of *Brann the Iconoclast* bound in what Robert Cortes Holliday calls "embossed toadskin." But that’s beside the point.

To the consideration of what to put on Miss Titania's bookshelf Roger devoted the delighted hours of the morning. Several times Helen called him to come down and attend to the shop, but he was sitting on the floor, unaware of numbed shins, poring over the volumes he had carted upstairs for a final culling. "It will be a great privilege," he said to himself, "to have a young mind to experiment with. Now my wife, delightful creature though she is, was—well, distinctly mature when I had the good fortune to meet her; I have never been able properly to supervise her mental processes. But this Chapman girl will come to us wholly unlettered. Her father said she had been to a fashionable school: that surely is a guarantee that the delicate tendrils of her mind have never begun to sprout. I will test her (without her knowing it) by the books I put here for her. By noting which of them she responds to, I will know how to proceed. It might be worth while to shut up the shop one day a week in order to give her some brief talks on literature. Delightful! Let me see, a little series of talks on the development of the English novel, beginning with Tom Jones—hum, that would hardly do! Well, I have always longed to be a teacher, this looks like a chance to begin. We might invite some of the neighbours to send in their children once a week, and start a little school. Causeries du lundi, in fact! Who knows I may yet be the Sainte Beuve of Brooklyn."

Roger spent the joyful hours of the morning deciding what to put on Miss Titania's bookshelf. Several times, Helen called him to come downstairs and help with the shop, but he was sitting on the floor, oblivious to his numb legs, absorbed in the books he had brought upstairs for a final selection. "It will be a great privilege," he thought to himself, "to have a young mind to explore. Now, my wife, charming as she is, was—well, quite mature when I was lucky enough to meet her; I’ve never really been able to guide her mental growth. But this Chapman girl will come to us completely uneducated. Her father said she attended an elite school: that must mean the delicate threads of her mind have never really started to grow. I’ll test her (without her knowing) with the books I place here for her. By observing which ones she connects with, I’ll know how to proceed. It might be worth closing the shop one day a week to give her some short discussions on literature. Delightful! Let me think, a little series of talks on the evolution of the English novel, starting with Tom Jones—hmm, that might not be ideal! Well, I’ve always dreamed of being a teacher; this seems like a chance to start. We could invite some neighbors to send their kids over once a week and start a little school. Causeries du lundi, in fact! Who knows, I might just become the Sainte Beuve of Brooklyn."

Across his mind flashed a vision of newspaper clippings—"This remarkable student of letters, who hides his brilliant parts under the unassuming existence of a second-hand bookseller, is now recognized as the——"

Across his mind flashed a vision of newspaper clippings—"This remarkable student of literature, who hides his brilliance beneath the humble life of a used bookseller, is now recognized as the——"

"Roger!" called Mrs. Mifflin from downstairs: "Front! someone wants to know if you keep back numbers of Foamy Stories."

"Roger!" called Mrs. Mifflin from downstairs. "Front! Someone wants to know if you have back issues of Foamy Stories."

After he had thrown out the intruder, Roger returned to his meditation. "This selection," he mused, "is of course only tentative. It is to act as a preliminary test, to see what sort of thing interests her. First of all, her name naturally suggests Shakespeare and the Elizabethans. It's a remarkable name, Titania Chapman: there must be great virtue in prunes! Let's begin with a volume of Christopher Marlowe. Then Keats, I guess: every young person ought to shiver over St. Agnes' Eve on a bright cold winter evening. Over Bemerton's, certainly, because it's a bookshop story. Eugene Field's Tribune Primer to try out her sense of humour. And Archy, by all means, for the same reason. I'll go down and get the Archy scrapbook."

After he kicked out the intruder, Roger went back to his meditation. "This selection," he thought, "is just a starting point. It's meant to be a preliminary test to see what kinds of things interest her. First off, her name definitely brings to mind Shakespeare and the Elizabethans. It's such a striking name, Titania Chapman: there must be something special about prunes! Let's start with a book by Christopher Marlowe. Then Keats, I suppose: every young person should feel a chill reading 'St. Agnes' Eve' on a bright, cold winter evening. Definitely over Bemerton's, since it's a bookshop story. Eugene Field's 'Tribune Primer' to see how her sense of humor is. And 'Archy,' for the same reason. I'll go down and get the 'Archy' scrapbook."

It should be explained that Roger was a keen admirer of Don Marquis, the humourist of the New York Evening Sun. Mr. Marquis once lived in Brooklyn, and the bookseller was never tired of saying that he was the most eminent author who had graced the borough since the days of Walt Whitman. Archy, the imaginary cockroach whom Mr. Marquis uses as a vehicle for so much excellent fun, was a constant delight to Roger, and he had kept a scrapbook of all Archy's clippings. This bulky tome he now brought out from the grotto by his desk where his particular treasures were kept. He ran his eye over it, and Mrs. Mifflin heard him utter shrill screams of laughter.

It should be noted that Roger was a big fan of Don Marquis, the humorist for the New York Evening Sun. Mr. Marquis used to live in Brooklyn, and the bookseller never tired of saying he was the most distinguished author to have come from the borough since Walt Whitman. Archy, the fictional cockroach that Mr. Marquis uses for so much great humor, was a constant source of joy for Roger, and he had kept a scrapbook filled with all Archy's writings. This large book he now pulled out from the nook by his desk where he kept his special treasures. He scanned through it, and Mrs. Mifflin heard him burst into loud, shrill laughter.

"What on earth is it?" she asked.

"What on earth is it?" she asked.

"Only Archy," he said, and began to read aloud—

"Just Archy," he said, and started to read out loud—

down in a wine vault underneath the city
    two old men were sitting they were drinking booze
torn were their garments hair and beards were gritty
    one had an overcoat but hardly any shoes

down in a wine vault underneath the city
    two old men were sitting and drinking booze
their clothes were torn, hair and beards were messy
    one had an overcoat but barely any shoes

overhead the street cars through the streets were running
    filled with happy people going home to christmas
in the adirondacks the hunters all were gunning
    big ships were sailing down by the isthmus

overhead the streetcars were running through the streets
    filled with happy people heading home for Christmas
in the Adirondacks the hunters were all out hunting
    big ships were sailing down by the isthmus

in came a little tot for to kiss her granny
    such a little totty she could scarcely tottle
saying kiss me grandpa kiss your little nanny
    but the old man beaned her with a whisky bottle.

in came a little kid to kiss her grandma
    such a tiny tot she could barely walk
saying kiss me grandpa kiss your little nanny
    but the old man hit her with a whiskey bottle.

outside the snowflakes began for to flutter
    far at sea the ships were sailing with the seamen
not another word did angel nanny utter
    her grandsire chuckled and pledged the whisky demon

outside the snowflakes started to flutter
    far at sea the ships were sailing with the sailors
not another word did angel nanny say
    her grandfather chuckled and pledged the whisky demon

up spake the second man he was worn and weary
    tears washed his face which otherwise was pasty
she loved her parents who commuted on the erie
    brother im afraid you struck a trifle hasty

up spoke the second man; he looked tired and drained
    tears streamed down his face, which otherwise looked pale
she loved her parents who traveled on the Erie
    brother, I'm afraid you acted a bit too quickly

she came to see you all her pretty duds on
    bringing christmas posies from her mothers garden
riding in the tunnel underneath the hudson
    brother was it rum caused your heart to harden——

she came to see you all dressed up
    bringing Christmas flowers from her mother's garden
riding through the tunnel under the Hudson
    brother, was it the rum that made your heart harden——

"What on earth is there funny in that?" said Mrs. Mifflin. "Poor little lamb, I think it was terrible."

"What on earth is funny about that?" Mrs. Mifflin said. "Poor little lamb, I think it was awful."

"There's more of it," cried Roger, and opened his mouth to continue.

"There's more of it," shouted Roger, and opened his mouth to keep talking.

"No more, thank you," said Helen. "There ought to be a fine for using the meter of Love in the Valley that way. I'm going out to market so if the bell rings you'll have to answer it."

"No thanks, I'm good," said Helen. "There should be a penalty for using the meter of Love in the Valley like that. I’m heading out to the market, so if the bell rings, you'll need to get it."

Roger added the Archy scrapbook to Miss Titania's shelf, and went on browsing over the volumes he had collected.

Roger placed the Archy scrapbook on Miss Titania's shelf and continued looking through the volumes he had gathered.

"The Nigger of the Narcissus," he said to himself, "for even if she doesn't read the story perhaps she'll read the preface, which not marble nor the monuments of princes will outlive. Dickens' Christmas Stories to introduce her to Mrs. Lirriper, the queen of landladies. Publishers tell me that Norfolk Street, Strand, is best known for the famous literary agent that has his office there, but I wonder how many of them know that that was where Mrs. Lirriper had her immortal lodgings? The Notebooks of Samuel Butler, just to give her a little intellectual jazz. The Wrong Box, because it's the best farce in the language. Travels with a Donkey, to show her what good writing is like. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to give her a sense of pity for human woes—wait a minute, though: that's a pretty broad book for young ladies. I guess we'll put it aside and see what else there is. Some of Mr. Mosher's catalogues: fine! they'll show her the true spirit of what one book-lover calls biblio-bliss. Walking-Stick Papers—yes, there are still good essayists running around. A bound file of The Publishers' Weekly to give her a smack of trade matters. Jo's Boys in case she needs a little relaxation. The Lays of Ancient Rome and Austin Dobson to show her some good poetry. I wonder if they give them The Lays to read in school nowadays? I have a horrible fear they are brought up on the battle of Salamis and the brutal redcoats of '76. And now we'll be exceptionally subtle: we'll stick in a Robert Chambers to see if she falls for it."

"The Nigger of the Narcissus," he thought to himself, "even if she doesn't read the story, maybe she'll check out the preface, which will outlast both marble and the monuments of princes. Dickens' Christmas Stories to introduce her to Mrs. Lirriper, the queen of landlords. Publishers say that Norfolk Street, Strand, is best known for the famous literary agent who has an office there, but I wonder how many of them realize that's where Mrs. Lirriper had her legendary lodgings? The Notebooks of Samuel Butler, just to give her a little intellectual flair. The Wrong Box, because it’s the best farce in the language. Travels with a Donkey, to show her what good writing looks like. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to give her a sense of compassion for human suffering—hold on a second, though: that might be too heavy for young ladies. I suppose we should set it aside and see what else is available. Some of Mr. Mosher's catalogs: great! they'll show her the true essence of what one book-lover calls biblio-bliss. Walking-Stick Papers—yes, there are still some good essayists around. A bound file of The Publishers' Weekly to give her a taste of industry matters. Jo's Boys in case she needs some light reading. The Lays of Ancient Rome and Austin Dobson to introduce her to some good poetry. I wonder if they still read The Lays in school these days? I have a dreadful feeling they're taught about the battle of Salamis and the brutal redcoats of '76. And now we'll be exceptionally subtle: we'll throw in a Robert Chambers to see if she bites."

He viewed the shelf with pride. "Not bad," he said to himself. "I'll just add this Leonard Merrick, Whispers about Women, to amuse her. I bet that title will start her guessing. Helen will say I ought to have included the Bible, but I'll omit it on purpose, just to see whether the girl misses it."

He looked at the shelf with pride. "Not bad," he said to himself. "I'll just add this Leonard Merrick, Whispers about Women, to entertain her. I bet that title will make her curious. Helen will probably say I should have included the Bible, but I'll leave it out on purpose, just to see if she notices."

With typical male curiosity he pulled out the bureau drawers to see what disposition his wife had made of them, and was pleased to find a little muslin bag of lavender dispersing a quiet fragrance in each. "Very nice," he remarked. "Very nice indeed! About the only thing missing is an ashtray. If Miss Titania is as modern as some of them, that'll be the first thing she'll call for. And maybe a copy of Ezra Pound's poems. I do hope she's not what Helen calls a bolshevixen."

With typical male curiosity, he pulled out the dresser drawers to see how his wife had organized them and was pleased to find a small muslin bag of lavender giving off a subtle fragrance in each. "Very nice," he said. "Very nice indeed! The only thing missing is an ashtray. If Miss Titania is as modern as some of them, that's definitely the first thing she'll ask for. And maybe a copy of Ezra Pound's poems. I really hope she's not what Helen calls a bolshevixen."


There was nothing bolshevik about a glittering limousine that drew up at the corner of Gissing and Swinburne streets early that afternoon. A chauffeur in green livery opened the door, lifted out a suitcase of beautiful brown leather, and gave a respectful hand to the vision that emerged from depths of lilac-coloured upholstery.

There was nothing revolutionary about a flashy limousine that pulled up at the corner of Gissing and Swinburne streets early that afternoon. A chauffeur in green uniform opened the door, took out a stunning brown leather suitcase, and offered a respectful hand to the person who appeared from the depths of lilac-colored upholstery.

"Where do you want me to carry the bag, miss?"

"Where do you want me to take the bag, miss?"

"This is the bitter parting," replied Miss Titania. "I don't want you to know my address, Edwards. Some of my mad friends might worm it out of you, and I don't want them coming down and bothering me. I am going to be very busy with literature. I'll walk the rest of the way."

"This is a tough goodbye," Miss Titania replied. "I don’t want you to have my address, Edwards. Some of my wild friends might find it out from you, and I really don’t want them showing up and bothering me. I'm going to be very focused on my writing. I’ll walk the rest of the way."

Edwards saluted with a grin—he worshipped the original young heiress—and returned to his wheel.

Edwards smiled and waved—he admired the original young heiress—and went back to his wheel.

"There's one thing I want you to do for me," said Titania. "Call up my father and tell him I'm on the job."

"There's one thing I need you to do for me," said Titania. "Contact my dad and let him know I'm on it."

"Yes, miss," said Edwards, who would have run the limousine into a government motor truck if she had ordered it.

"Sure, miss," said Edwards, who would have driven the limousine straight into a government truck if she had asked him to.

Miss Chapman's small gloved hand descended into an interesting purse that was cuffed to her wrist with a bright little chain. She drew out a nickel—it was characteristic of her that it was a very bright and engaging looking nickel—and handed it gravely to her charioteer. Equally gravely he saluted, and the car, after moving through certain dignified arcs, swam swiftly away down Thackeray Boulevard.

Miss Chapman's small gloved hand reached into an interesting purse cuffed to her wrist with a shiny little chain. She pulled out a nickel—it was typical of her that it was a very shiny and appealing nickel—and handed it solemnly to her driver. Just as seriously, he saluted, and the car, after moving in a few dignified arcs, sped away down Thackeray Boulevard.

Titania, after making sure that Edwards was out of sight, turned up Gissing Street with a fluent pace and an observant eye. A small boy cried, "Carry your bag, lady?" and she was about to agree, but then remembered that she was now engaged at ten dollars a week and waved him away. Our readers would feel a justifiable grudge if we did not attempt a description of the young lady, and we will employ the few blocks of her course along Gissing Street for this purpose.

Titania, once she was sure that Edwards was out of sight, walked down Gissing Street with a confident stride and a watchful eye. A little boy called out, "Want me to carry your bag, lady?" and she almost said yes, but then remembered that she was now earning ten dollars a week and waved him off. Our readers would be understandably upset if we didn’t try to describe the young lady, so we’ll take the few blocks of her walk down Gissing Street to do just that.

Walking behind her, the observer, by the time she had reached Clemens Place, would have seen that she was faultlessly tailored in genial tweeds; that her small brown boots were sheltered by spats of that pale tan complexion exhibited by Pullman porters on the Pennsylvania Railroad; that her person was both slender and vigorous; that her shoulders were carrying a sumptuous fur of the colour described by the trade as nutria, or possibly opal smoke. The word chinchilla would have occurred irresistibly to this observer from behind; he might also, if he were the father of a family, have had a fleeting vision of many autographed stubs in a check book. The general impression that he would have retained, had he turned aside at Clemens Place, would be "expensive, but worth the expense."

Walking behind her, the observer, by the time she reached Clemens Place, would have noticed that she was perfectly dressed in friendly tweeds; that her small brown boots were covered by spats of that light tan color seen on Pullman porters on the Pennsylvania Railroad; that she was both slim and energetic; that her shoulders were draped with a luxurious fur in a shade the industry calls nutria, or possibly opal smoke. The word chinchilla would have come to this observer's mind almost automatically from behind; he might also, if he had a family, have had a quick glimpse of many signed stubs in a checkbook. The overall impression he would have taken away, had he turned away at Clemens Place, would be "expensive, but worth it."

It is more likely, however, that the student of phenomena would have continued along Gissing Street to the next corner, being that of Hazlitt Street. Taking advantage of opportunity, he would overtake the lady on the pavement, with a secret, sidelong glance. If he were wise, he would pass her on the right side where her tilted bonnet permitted a wider angle of vision. He would catch a glimpse of cheek and chin belonging to the category known (and rightly) as adorable; hair that held sunlight through the dullest day; even a small platinum wrist watch that might pardonably be excused, in its exhilarating career, for beating a trifle fast. Among the greyish furs he would note a bunch of such violets as never bloom in the crude springtime, but reserve themselves for November and the plate glass windows of Fifth Avenue.

It’s more likely that the observer of the world would have continued down Gissing Street to the next corner, which is Hazlitt Street. Seizing the moment, he would catch up to the woman on the sidewalk with a discreet sideways glance. If he was smart, he would pass her on the right side, where her tilted hat allowed for a wider view. He would catch a glimpse of her adorable cheek and chin; hair that captured sunlight even on the dreariest days; and even a small platinum wristwatch that could be forgiven for ticking a little fast in its exciting life. Among the grayish furs, he would notice a bunch of violets that never bloom in harsh spring but instead wait for November and the glossy storefronts of Fifth Avenue.

It is probable that whatever the errand of this spectator he would have continued along Gissing Street a few paces farther. Then, with calculated innocence, he would have halted halfway up the block that leads to the Wordsworth Avenue "L," and looked backward with carefully simulated irresolution, as though considering some forgotten matter. With apparently unseeing eyes he would have scanned the bright pedestrian, and caught the full impact of her rich blue gaze. He would have seen a small resolute face rather vivacious in effect, yet with a quaint pathos of youth and eagerness. He would have noted the cheeks lit with excitement and rapid movement in the bracing air. He would certainly have noted the delicate contrast of the fur of the wild nutria with the soft V of her bare throat. Then, to his surprise, he would have seen this attractive person stop, examine her surroundings, and run down some steps into a rather dingy-looking second-hand bookshop. He would have gone about his affairs with a new and surprised conviction that the Almighty had the borough of Brooklyn under His especial care.

It’s likely that whatever this observer’s purpose was, he would have walked a few more steps down Gissing Street. Then, with feigned innocence, he would have paused halfway up the block leading to the Wordsworth Avenue "L," glancing back with an affected look of uncertainty, as if pondering something he had forgotten. With seemingly unseeing eyes, he would have scanned the bright pedestrian and felt the full impact of her vibrant blue gaze. He would have noticed her small, determined face, lively in appearance, yet carrying a quaint sadness of youth and eagerness. He would have observed the cheeks glowing with excitement and movement in the crisp air. He would definitely have taken note of the delicate contrast between the fur of the wild nutria and the soft V of her bare throat. Then, to his surprise, he would have seen this intriguing person stop, look around, and dash down some steps into a rather shabby second-hand bookstore. He would have gone about his business with a new and surprised belief that the Almighty had a special interest in the borough of Brooklyn.

Roger, who had conceived a notion of some rather peevish foundling of the Ritz-Carlton lobbies and Central Park riding academies, was agreeably amazed by the sweet simplicity of the young lady.

Roger, who had imagined some rather spoiled kid from the Ritz-Carlton lobbies and Central Park riding schools, was pleasantly surprised by the straightforward charm of the young woman.

"Is this Mr. Mifflin?" she said, as he advanced all agog from his smoky corner.

"Is this Mr. Mifflin?" she asked, as he approached, excited from his smoky corner.

"Miss Chapman?" he replied, taking her bag. "Helen!" he called. "Miss Titania is here."

"Miss Chapman?" he said, taking her bag. "Helen!" he shouted. "Miss Titania is here."

She looked about the sombre alcoves of the shop. "I do think it's adorable of you to take me in," she said. "Dad has told me so much about you. He says I'm impossible. I suppose this is the literature he talks about. I want to know all about it."

She looked around the dark corners of the shop. "I really think it’s sweet of you to take me in," she said. "Dad has told me so much about you. He says I’m impossible. I guess this is the literature he talks about. I want to learn all about it."

"And here's Bock!" she cried. "Dad says he's the greatest dog in the world, named after Botticelli or somebody. I've brought him a present. It's in my bag. Nice old Bocky!"

"And here’s Bock!" she shouted. "Dad says he’s the best dog in the world, named after Botticelli or someone. I’ve got a gift for him. It’s in my bag. Good old Bocky!"

Bock, who was unaccustomed to spats, was examining them after his own fashion.

Bock, who wasn't used to spats, was looking them over in his own way.

"Well, my dear," said Mrs. Mifflin. "We are delighted to see you. I hope you'll be happy with us, but I rather doubt it. Mr. Mifflin is a hard man to get along with."

"Well, my dear," said Mrs. Mifflin. "We’re so glad to see you. I hope you’ll be happy here, but I have my doubts. Mr. Mifflin can be a difficult person to get along with."

"Oh, I'm sure of it!" cried Titania. "I mean, I'm sure I shall be happy! You mustn't believe a word of what Dad says about me. I'm crazy about books. I don't see how you can bear to sell them. I brought these violets for you, Mrs. Mifflin."

"Oh, I know it!" exclaimed Titania. "I mean, I’m sure I’ll be happy! You can’t believe a word of what my dad says about me. I love books. I don’t understand how you can stand to sell them. I brought these violets for you, Mrs. Mifflin."

"How perfectly sweet of you," said Helen, captivated already. "Come along, we'll put them right in water. I'll show you your room."

"How sweet of you," said Helen, already charmed. "Come on, let's get them in water. I'll show you your room."

Roger heard them moving about overhead. It suddenly occurred to him that the shop was rather a dingy place for a young girl. "I wish I had thought to get in a cash register," he mused. "She'll think I'm terribly unbusiness-like."

Roger heard them moving around above him. It suddenly struck him that the shop was a pretty dreary place for a young girl. "I wish I had thought to get a cash register," he thought. "She'll think I'm really unprofessional."

"Now," said Mrs. Mifflin, as she and Titania came downstairs again, "I'm making some pastry, so I'm going to turn you over to your employer. He can show you round the shop and tell you where all the books are."

"Now," said Mrs. Mifflin, as she and Titania came downstairs again, "I'm making some pastry, so I'm going to hand you over to your boss. He can give you a tour of the shop and show you where all the books are."

"Before we begin," said Titania, "just let me give Bock his present." She showed a large package of tissue paper and, unwinding innumerable layers, finally disclosed a stalwart bone. "I was lunching at Sherry's, and I made the head waiter give me this. He was awfully amused."

"Before we start," Titania said, "I just need to give Bock his gift." She revealed a big bundle of tissue paper and, peeling away countless layers, finally uncovered a sturdy bone. "I was having lunch at Sherry's, and I asked the head waiter to give me this. He thought it was hilarious."

"Come along into the kitchen and give it to him," said Helen. "He'll be your friend for life."

"Come into the kitchen and give it to him," said Helen. "He'll be your friend for life."

"What an adorable kennel!" cried Titania, when she saw the remodelled packing-case that served Bock as a retreat. The bookseller's ingenious carpentry had built it into the similitude of a Carnegie library, with the sign READING-ROOM over the door; and he had painted imitation book-shelves along the interior.

"What a cute doghouse!" exclaimed Titania when she saw the revamped packing case that served as Bock's hideaway. The bookseller's clever carpentry had transformed it into something resembling a Carnegie library, complete with a sign that read READING-ROOM above the door, and he had painted fake bookshelves on the inside.

"You'll get used to Mr. Mifflin after a while," said Helen amusedly. "He spent all one winter getting that kennel fixed to his liking. You might have thought he was going to live in it instead of Bock. All the titles that he painted in there are books that have dogs in them, and a lot of them he made up."

"You'll get used to Mr. Mifflin eventually," Helen said with a laugh. "He spent an entire winter customizing that kennel just the way he wanted. You’d think he was planning to live in it instead of Bock. All the titles he painted in there are books that feature dogs, and many of them he just made up."

Titania insisted on getting down to peer inside. Bock was much flattered at this attention from the new planet that had swum into his kennel.

Titania insisted on looking inside. Bock was quite flattered by this attention from the new planet that had come into his view.

"Gracious!" she said, "here's 'The Rubaiyat of Omar Canine.' I do think that's clever!"

"Wow!" she said, "here's 'The Rubaiyat of Omar Canine.' I really think that's clever!"

"Oh, there are a lot more," said Helen. "The works of Bonar Law, and Bohn's 'Classics,' and 'Catechisms on Dogma' and goodness knows what. If Roger paid half as much attention to business as he does to jokes of that sort, we'd be rich. Now, you run along and have a look at the shop."

"Oh, there are way more," said Helen. "The works of Bonar Law, and Bohn's 'Classics,' and 'Catechisms on Dogma' and who knows what else. If Roger put half as much focus on work as he does on jokes like that, we’d be wealthy. Now, you go ahead and check out the shop."

Titania found the bookseller at his desk. "Here I am, Mr. Mifflin," she said. "See, I brought a nice sharp pencil along with me to make out sales slips. I've been practicing sticking it in my hair. I can do it quite nicely now. I hope you have some of those big red books with all the carbon paper in them and everything. I've been watching the girls up at Lord and Taylor's make them out, and I think they're fascinating. And you must teach me to run the elevator. I'm awfully keen about elevators."

Titania found the bookseller at his desk. "Here I am, Mr. Mifflin," she said. "Look, I brought a nice sharp pencil with me to fill out sales slips. I've been practicing putting it in my hair, and I can do it quite well now. I hope you have some of those big red books with all the carbon paper in them. I've been watching the girls at Lord and Taylor's fill them out, and I think they're fascinating. And you have to teach me how to run the elevator. I'm really excited about elevators."

"Bless me," said Roger, "You'll find this very different from Lord and Taylor's! We haven't any elevators, or any sales slips, or even a cash register. We don't wait on customers unless they ask us to. They come in and browse round, and if they find anything they want they come back here to my desk and ask about it. The price is marked in every book in red pencil. The cash-box is here on this shelf. This is the key hanging on this little hook. I enter each sale in this ledger. When you sell a book you must write it down here, and the price paid for it."

"Bless me," said Roger, "You'll find this place very different from Lord and Taylor's! We don't have any elevators, sales slips, or even a cash register. We don’t help customers unless they ask us to. They come in and browse around, and if they find something they want, they come back to my desk and ask about it. The price is marked in every book with red pencil. The cash box is here on this shelf. This is the key hanging on this little hook. I write down each sale in this ledger. When you sell a book, you need to note it down here along with the price paid for it."

"But suppose it's charged?" said Titania.

"But what if it's charged?" said Titania.

"No charge accounts. Everything is cash. If someone comes in to sell books, you must refer him to me. You mustn't be surprised to see people drop in here and spend several hours reading. Lots of them look on this as a kind of club. I hope you don't mind the smell of tobacco, for almost all the men that come here smoke in the shop. You see, I put ash trays around for them."

"No charge accounts. Everything is cash. If someone comes in to sell books, refer them to me. Don’t be surprised if people come here and spend several hours reading. Many of them see this place as a kind of club. I hope you don’t mind the smell of tobacco because almost all the men who come here smoke in the shop. I’ve placed ashtrays around for them."

"I love tobacco smell," said Titania. "Daddy's library at home smells something like this, but not quite so strong. And I want to see the worms, bookworms you know. Daddy said you had lots of them."

"I love the smell of tobacco," said Titania. "My dad's library at home smells a bit like this, but not nearly as strong. And I want to see the worms, bookworms you know. Dad said you had plenty of them."

"You'll see them, all right," said Roger, chuckling. "They come in and out. To-morrow I'll show you how my stock is arranged. It'll take you quite a while to get familiar with it. Until then I just want you to poke around and see what there is, until you know the shelves so well you could put your hand on any given book in the dark. That's a game my wife and I used to play. We would turn off all the lights at night, and I would call out the title of a book and see how near she could come to finding it. Then I would take a turn. When we came more than six inches away from it we would have to pay a forfeit. It's great fun."

"You'll definitely see them," Roger said with a laugh. "They come and go. Tomorrow, I'll show you how I organize my collection. It'll take you some time to get used to it. Until then, I just want you to explore and check out what’s here, until you know the shelves so well that you could find any book in the dark. That’s a game my wife and I used to play. We would turn off all the lights at night, and I’d call out the title of a book to see how close she could get to finding it. Then it was my turn. If we were more than six inches away from it, we had to pay a forfeit. It's a lot of fun."

"What larks we'll have," cried Titania. "I do think this is a cunning place!"

"What fun we'll have," cried Titania. "I really think this is a clever spot!"

"This is the bulletin board, where I put up notices about books that interest me. Here's a card I've just been writing."

"This is the bulletin board, where I post notices about books that catch my interest. Here's a card I've just been writing."

Roger drew from his pocket a square of cardboard and affixed it to the board with a thumbtack. Titania read:

Roger pulled a square of cardboard from his pocket and pinned it to the board with a thumbtack. Titania read:


THE BOOK THAT SHOULD HAVE PREVENTED THE WAR


Now that the fighting is over is a good time to read Thomas Hardy's The Dynasts. I don't want to sell it, because it is one of the greatest treasures I own. But if any one will guarantee to read all three volumes, and let them sink into his mind, I'm willing to lend them.

Now that the fighting is done, it's a great time to read Thomas Hardy's The Dynasts. I don’t want to part with it because it's one of my greatest treasures. But if someone can promise to read all three volumes and truly absorb them, I’m happy to lend them out.

If enough thoughtful Germans had read The Dynasts before July, 1914, there would have been no war.

If enough reflective Germans had read The Dynasts before July 1914, there wouldn't have been a war.

If every delegate to the Peace Conference could be made to read it before the sessions begin, there will be no more wars.

If every delegate at the Peace Conference read it before the sessions start, there would be no more wars.

R. MIFFLIN.

R. MIFFLIN.


"Dear me," said Titania, "Is it so good as all that? Perhaps I'd better read it."

"Wow," said Titania, "Is it really that good? Maybe I should give it a read."

"It is so good that if I knew any way of doing so I'd insist on Mr. Wilson reading it on his voyage to France. I wish I could get it onto his ship. My, what a book! It makes one positively ill with pity and terror. Sometimes I wake up at night and look out of the window and imagine I hear Hardy laughing. I get him a little mixed up with the Deity, I fear. But he's a bit too hard for you to tackle."

"It’s so amazing that if I could find a way, I’d make sure Mr. Wilson reads it on his trip to France. I really want to get it on his ship. Wow, what a book! It makes you feel sick with pity and fear. Sometimes I wake up at night, look out the window, and think I hear Hardy laughing. I worry I mix him up a little with God. But he’s a bit too intense for you to handle."

Titania was puzzled, and said nothing. But her busy mind made a note of its own: Hardy, hard to read, makes one ill, try it.

Titania was confused and didn't say anything. But her active mind took note of its own: Hardy, tough to understand, makes you sick, give it a try.

"What did you think of the books I put in your room?" said Roger. He had vowed to wait until she made some comment unsolicited, but he could not restrain himself.

"What did you think of the books I put in your room?" Roger asked. He had promised himself he would wait until she brought it up on her own, but he couldn't hold back.

"In my room?" she said. "Why, I'm sorry, I never noticed them!"

"In my room?" she said. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't even see them!"




Chapter IV

The Disappearing Volume

"Well, my dear," said Roger after supper that evening, "I think perhaps we had better introduce Miss Titania to our custom of reading aloud."

"Well, my dear," Roger said after dinner that evening, "I think we should probably introduce Miss Titania to our habit of reading aloud."

"Perhaps it would bore her?" said Helen. "You know it isn't everybody that likes being read to."

"Maybe it would be boring for her?" said Helen. "You know not everyone enjoys being read to."

"Oh, I should love it!" exclaimed Titania. "I don't think anybody ever read to me, that is not since I was a child."

"Oh, I would love that!" exclaimed Titania. "I don't think anyone has ever read to me, not since I was a child."

"Suppose we leave you to look after the shop," said Helen to Roger, in a teasing mood, "and I'll take Titania out to the movies. I think Tarzan is still running."

"How about we let you take care of the shop," Helen said to Roger, playfully, "while I take Titania to the movies? I think Tarzan is still showing."

Whatever private impulses Miss Chapman may have felt, she saw by the bookseller's downcast face that a visit to Tarzan would break his heart, and she was prompt to disclaim any taste for the screen classic.

Whatever personal feelings Miss Chapman might have had, she noticed from the bookseller's sad expression that a visit to Tarzan would devastate him, and she quickly denied having any interest in the film classic.

"Dear me," she said; "Tarzan—that's all that nature stuff by John Burroughs; isn't it? Oh, Mrs. Mifflin, I think it would be very tedious. Let's have Mr. Mifflin read to us. I'll get down my knitting bag."

"Goodness," she said; "Tarzan—that's all that nature stuff by John Burroughs, right? Oh, Mrs. Mifflin, I think that would be really boring. Let's have Mr. Mifflin read to us. I'll grab my knitting bag."

"You mustn't mind being interrupted," said Helen. "When anybody rings the bell Roger has to run out and tend the shop."

"You shouldn't mind being interrupted," said Helen. "Whenever someone rings the bell, Roger has to dash out and take care of the shop."

"You must let me do it," said Titania. "I want to earn my wages, you know."

"You have to let me do it," Titania said. "I want to earn my paycheck, you know."

"All right," said Mrs. Mifflin; "Roger, you settle Miss Chapman in the den and give her something to look at while we do the dishes."

"Okay," Mrs. Mifflin said. "Roger, you take Miss Chapman to the den and give her something to look at while we clean up the dishes."

But Roger was all on fire to begin the reading. "Why don't we postpone the dishes," he said, "just to celebrate?"

But Roger was really eager to start the reading. "Why don't we put off the dishes," he said, "just to celebrate?"

"Let me help," insisted Titania. "I should think washing up would be great fun."

"Let me help," Titania insisted. "I think washing up would be a lot of fun."

"No, no, not on your first evening," said Helen. "Mr. Mifflin and I will finish them in a jiffy."

"No, no, not on your first evening," said Helen. "Mr. Mifflin and I will wrap it up in no time."

So Roger poked up the coal fire in the den, disposed the chairs, and gave Titania a copy of Sartor Resartus to look at. He then vanished into the kitchen with his wife, whence Titania heard the cheerful clank of crockery in a dishpan and the splashing of hot water. "The best thing about washing up," she heard Roger say, "is that it makes one's hands so clean, a novel sensation for a second-hand bookseller."

So Roger tended to the coal fire in the den, rearranged the chairs, and handed Titania a copy of Sartor Resartus to look at. He then disappeared into the kitchen with his wife, from where Titania heard the cheerful clinking of dishes in a sink and the sound of hot water splashing. "The best thing about doing the dishes," she heard Roger say, "is that it makes your hands so clean—a nice change for a second-hand bookseller."

She gave Sartor Resartus what is graphically described as a "once over," and then seeing the morning Times lying on the table, picked it up, as she had not read it. Her eye fell upon the column headed

She glanced at Sartor Resartus with a quick look and then noticing the morning Times on the table, picked it up since she hadn’t read it. Her gaze landed on the column titled

LOST AND FOUND
Fifty cents an agate line

LOST AND FOUND
Fifty cents per agate line

and as she had recently lost a little pearl brooch, she ran hastily through it. She chuckled a little over

and since she had recently lost a small pearl brooch, she hurried through it. She laughed a bit over

LOST—Hotel Imperial lavatory, set of teeth. Call or communicate Steel, 134 East 43 St. Reward, no questions asked.

LOST—Hotel Imperial bathroom, set of dentures. Call or reach out to Steel, 134 East 43rd St. Reward, no questions asked.

Then she saw this:

Then she saw this:

LOST—Copy of Thomas Carlyle's "Oliver Cromwell," between Gissing Street, Brooklyn, and the Octagon Hotel. If found before midnight, Tuesday, Dec. 3, return to assistant chef, Octagon Hotel.

LOST—Copy of Thomas Carlyle's "Oliver Cromwell," between Gissing Street, Brooklyn, and the Octagon Hotel. If found before midnight, Tuesday, Dec. 3, please return to the assistant chef at the Octagon Hotel.

"Why" she exclaimed, "Gissing Street—that's here! And what a funny kind of book for an assistant chef to read. No wonder their lunches have been so bad lately!"

"Why," she exclaimed, "Gissing Street—that's right here! And what a strange kind of book for an assistant chef to read. No wonder their lunches have been so terrible lately!"

When Roger and Helen rejoined her in the den a few minutes later she showed the bookseller the advertisement. He was very much excited.

When Roger and Helen came back to the den a few minutes later, she showed the bookseller the ad. He was really excited.

"That's a funny thing," he said. "There's something queer about that book. Did I tell you about it? Last Tuesday—I know it was then because it was the evening young Gilbert was here—a man with a beard came in asking for it, and it wasn't on the shelf. Then the next night, Wednesday, I was up very late writing, and fell asleep at my desk. I must have left the front door ajar, because I was waked up by the draught, and when I went to close the door I saw the book sticking out a little beyond the others, in its usual place. And last night, when the Corn Cobs were here, I went out to look up a quotation in it, and it was gone again."

"That's a strange thing," he said. "There's something weird about that book. Did I mention it to you? Last Tuesday—I remember it was that evening because young Gilbert was here—a guy with a beard came in asking for it, and it wasn't on the shelf. Then the next night, Wednesday, I was up really late writing and fell asleep at my desk. I must have left the front door slightly open because I got woken up by the draft, and when I went to close the door, I saw the book sticking out a bit from the others, right where it usually is. And last night, when the Corn Cobs were here, I went out to look up a quote in it, and it was missing again."

"Perhaps the assistant chef stole it?" said Titania.

"Maybe the assistant chef took it?" said Titania.

"But if so, why the deuce would he advertise having done so?" asked Roger.

"But if that's the case, why on earth would he brag about it?" asked Roger.

"Well, if he did steal it," said Helen, "I wish him joy of it. I tried to read it once, you talked so much about it, and I found it dreadfully dull."

"Well, if he did steal it," Helen said, "I hope he's happy with it. I tried to read it once since you talked about it so much, and I found it really boring."

"If he did steal it," cried the bookseller, "I'm perfectly delighted. It shows that my contention is right: people DO really care for good books. If an assistant chef is so fond of good books that he has to steal them, the world is safe for democracy. Usually the only books any one wants to steal are sheer piffle, like Making Life Worth While by Douglas Fairbanks or Mother Shipton's Book of Oracles. I don't mind a man stealing books if he steals good ones!"

"If he really stole it," yelled the bookseller, "I'm totally thrilled. It proves my point: people actually care about good books. If an assistant chef loves good books so much that he feels the need to steal them, then democracy is in a good place. Usually, the only books anyone wants to steal are just nonsense, like Making Life Worth While by Douglas Fairbanks or Mother Shipton's Book of Oracles. I don't mind a guy stealing books if he takes good ones!"

"You see the remarkable principles that govern this business," said Helen to Titania. They sat down by the fire and took up their knitting while the bookseller ran out to see if the volume had by any chance returned to his shelves.

"You see the amazing principles that run this business," Helen said to Titania. They sat down by the fire and picked up their knitting while the bookseller dashed out to check if the book had possibly made its way back to his shelves.

"Is it there?" said Helen, when he came back.

"Is it there?" Helen asked when he returned.

"No," said Roger, and picked up the advertisement again. "I wonder why he wants it returned before midnight on Tuesday?"

"No," said Roger, picking up the ad again. "I wonder why he wants it back by midnight on Tuesday?"

"So he can read it in bed, I guess," said Helen. "Perhaps he suffers from insomnia."

"So he can read it in bed, I guess," said Helen. "Maybe he has insomnia."

"It's a darn shame he lost it before he had a chance to read it. I'd like to have known what he thought of it. I've got a great mind to go up and call on him."

"It's such a pity he lost it before he had a chance to read it. I'd really like to know what he thought of it. I'm seriously thinking about going up to visit him."

"Charge it off to profit and loss and forget about it," said Helen. "How about that reading aloud?"

"Just write it off as a loss and move on," Helen said. "What about that reading aloud?"

Roger ran his eye along his private shelves, and pulled down a well-worn volume.

Roger glanced over his personal shelves and took down a well-worn book.

"Now that Thanksgiving is past," he said, "my mind always turns to Christmas, and Christmas means Charles Dickens. My dear, would it bore you if we had a go at the old Christmas Stories?"

"Now that Thanksgiving is over," he said, "I always start thinking about Christmas, and Christmas means Charles Dickens. My dear, would it be boring for you if we tackled the old Christmas Stories?"

Mrs. Mifflin held up her hands in mock dismay. "He reads them to me every year at this time," she said to Titania. "Still, they're worth it. I know good old Mrs. Lirriper better than I do most of my friends."

Mrs. Mifflin raised her hands in playful disbelief. "He reads them to me every year at this time," she told Titania. "Still, they're worth it. I know good old Mrs. Lirriper better than I know most of my friends."

"What is it, the Christmas Carol?" said Titania. "We had to read that in school."

"What’s a Christmas Carol?" said Titania. "We had to read that in school."

"No," said Roger; "the other stories, infinitely better. Everybody gets the Carol dinned into them until they're weary of it, but no one nowadays seems to read the others. I tell you, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas to me if I didn't read these tales over again every year. How homesick they make one for the good old days of real inns and real beefsteak and real ale drawn in pewter. My dears, sometimes when I am reading Dickens I get a vision of rare sirloin with floury boiled potatoes and plenty of horse-radish, set on a shining cloth not far from a blaze of English coal——"

"No," said Roger; "the other stories are way better. Everyone gets the Carol shoved in their faces until they're sick of it, but no one seems to read the others anymore. Honestly, Christmas wouldn't feel like Christmas to me if I didn't revisit these tales every year. They make me so nostalgic for the good old days of real inns and proper beefsteaks and ale served in pewter. Sometimes when I'm reading Dickens, I can almost picture juicy sirloin with fluffy boiled potatoes and lots of horseradish, laid out on a shiny tablecloth not far from a roaring fire made of English coal——"

"He's an incorrigible visionary," said Mrs. Mifflin. "To hear him talk you might think no one had had a square meal since Dickens died. You might think that all landladies died with Mrs. Lirriper."

"He's an unchangeable dreamer," said Mrs. Mifflin. "If you listen to him, you might think no one has had a decent meal since Dickens passed away. You might think that all landladies vanished with Mrs. Lirriper."

"Very ungrateful of him," said Titania. "I'm sure I couldn't ask for better potatoes, or a nicer hostess, than I've found in Brooklyn."

"Very ungrateful of him," said Titania. "I'm sure I couldn't ask for better potatoes, or a nicer hostess, than I've found in Brooklyn."

"Well, well," said Roger. "You are right, of course. And yet something went out of the world when Victorian England vanished, something that will never come again. Take the stagecoach drivers, for instance. What a racy, human type they were! And what have we now to compare with them? Subway guards? Taxicab drivers? I have hung around many an all-night lunchroom to hear the chauffeurs talk. But they are too much on the move, you can't get the picture of them the way Dickens could of his types. You can't catch that sort of thing in a snapshot, you know: you have to have a time exposure. I'll grant you, though, that lunchroom food is mighty good. The best place to eat is always a counter where the chauffeurs congregate. They get awfully hungry, you see, driving round in the cold, and when they want food they want it hot and tasty. There's a little hash-alley called Frank's, up on Broadway near 77th, where I guess the ham and eggs and French fried is as good as any Mr. Pickwick ever ate."

"Well, well," said Roger. "You’re right, of course. And yet, something disappeared from the world when Victorian England faded away, something that will never return. Take the stagecoach drivers, for example. What an interesting, genuine group they were! And what do we have now to compare with them? Subway workers? Taxi drivers? I’ve spent plenty of late nights in diners listening to the drivers chat. But they’re always on the go; you can’t capture them like Dickens captured his characters. You can’t get that kind of thing in a quick snapshot; you need a longer exposure. I will say, though, that diner food is really good. The best place to eat is always a counter where the drivers gather. They get really hungry, you know, driving around in the cold, and when they want food, they want it hot and tasty. There’s a little diner called Frank’s, up on Broadway near 77th, where I bet the ham and eggs and French fries are as good as anything Mr. Pickwick ever had."

"I must get Edwards to take me there," said Titania. "Edwards is our chauffeur. I've been to the Ansonia for tea, that's near there."

"I need to get Edwards to drive me there," said Titania. "Edwards is our driver. I've been to the Ansonia for tea, which is close to there."

"Better keep away," said Helen. "When Roger comes home from those places he smells so strong of onions it brings tears to my eyes."

"Better stay away," Helen said. "When Roger comes back from those places, he smells so much like onions that it makes me tear up."

"We've just been talking about an assistant chef," said Roger; "that suggests that I read you Somebody's Luggage, which is all about a head waiter. I have often wished I could get a job as a waiter or a bus boy, just to learn if there really are any such head waiters nowadays. You know there are all sorts of jobs I'd like to have, just to fructify my knowledge of human nature and find out whether life is really as good as literature. I'd love to be a waiter, a barber, a floorwalker——"

"We've just been talking about an assistant chef," said Roger; "that makes me think I should read you Somebody's Luggage, which is all about a head waiter. I’ve often wished I could get a job as a waiter or a busboy, just to see if there are actually any head waiters around these days. You know, there are all kinds of jobs I’d love to have, just to deepen my understanding of human nature and find out if life is really as good as it is in literature. I’d love to be a waiter, a barber, a sales associate——"

"Roger, my dear," said Helen, "why don't you get on with the reading?"

"Roger, my dear," Helen said, "why don't you continue with the reading?"

Roger knocked out his pipe, turned Bock out of his chair, and sat down with infinite relish to read the memorable character sketch of Christopher, the head waiter, which is dear to every lover of taverns. "The writer of these humble lines being a Waiter," he began. The knitting needles flashed with diligence, and the dog by the fender stretched himself out in the luxuriant vacancy of mind only known to dogs surrounded by a happy group of their friends. And Roger, enjoying himself enormously, and particularly pleased by the chuckles of his audience, was approaching the ever-delightful items of the coffee-room bill which is to be found about ten pages on in the first chapter—how sad it is that hotel bills are not so rendered in these times—when the bell in the shop clanged. Picking up his pipe and matchbox, and grumbling "It's always the way," he hurried out of the room.

Roger knocked out his pipe, shoved Bock out of his chair, and settled down with great enjoyment to read the memorable character sketch of Christopher, the head waiter, which is loved by every tavern enthusiast. "The writer of these humble lines being a Waiter," he started. The knitting needles flashed away busily, and the dog by the fireplace stretched out in the blissful relaxation only known to dogs surrounded by a happy group of their friends. And Roger, having a fantastic time and especially loving the chuckles from his audience, was getting close to the ever-entertaining items of the coffee-room bill, which can be found about ten pages later in the first chapter—how sad it is that hotel bills aren't made this way nowadays—when the bell in the shop rang. Grabbing his pipe and matchbox, and grumbling, "It's always like this," he hurried out of the room.

He was agreeably surprised to find that his caller was the young advertising man, Aubrey Gilbert.

He was pleasantly surprised to see that his visitor was the young advertising guy, Aubrey Gilbert.

"Hullo!" he said. "I've been saving something for you. It's a quotation from Joseph Conrad about advertising."

"HellO!" he said. "I've been saving something for you. It's a quote from Joseph Conrad about advertising."

"Good enough," said Aubrey. "And I've got something for you. You were so nice to me the other evening I took the liberty of bringing you round some tobacco. Here's a tin of Blue-Eyed Mixture, it's my favourite. I hope you'll like it."

"Good enough," said Aubrey. "And I've got something for you. You were so nice to me the other night that I took the liberty of bringing you some tobacco. Here's a tin of Blue-Eyed Mixture; it's my favorite. I hope you'll like it."

"Bully for you. Perhaps I ought to let you off the Conrad quotation since you're so kind."

"Bully for you. Maybe I should let you skip the Conrad quote since you’re being so nice."

"Not a bit. I suppose it's a knock. Shoot!" The bookseller led the way back to his desk, where he rummaged among the litter and finally found a scrap of paper on which he had written:

"Not at all. I guess it's a sign. Go for it!" The bookseller walked back to his desk, where he searched through the clutter and finally found a piece of paper on which he had written:

Being myself animated by feelings of affection toward my fellowmen, I am saddened by the modern system of advertising. Whatever evidence it offers of enterprise, ingenuity, impudence, and resource in certain individuals, it proves to my mind the wide prevalence of that form of mental degradation which is called gullibility. JOSEPH CONRAD.

Being driven by feelings of affection for others, I am saddened by today's advertising system. While it shows creativity, cleverness, boldness, and resourcefulness in some individuals, it highlights the widespread issue of gullibility. JOSEPH CONRAD.

"What do you think of that?" said Roger. "You'll find that in the story called The Anarchist."

"What do you think about that?" Roger said. "You'll find that in the story called The Anarchist."

"I think less than nothing of it," said Aubrey. "As your friend Don Marquis observed the other evening, an idea isn't always to be blamed for the people who believe in it. Mr. Conrad has been reading some quack ads, that's all. Because there are fake ads, that doesn't condemn the principle of Publicity. But look here, what I really came round to see you for is to show you this. It was in the Times this morning."

"I think it’s worthless," said Aubrey. "As your friend Don Marquis pointed out the other night, you can’t always blame an idea for the people who believe in it. Mr. Conrad has just been reading some fake ads, that’s all. Just because there are bogus ads doesn’t mean the concept of Publicity is bad. But anyway, the real reason I stopped by was to show you this. It was in the Times this morning."

He pulled out of his pocket a clipping of the LOST insertion to which Roger's attention had already been drawn.

He pulled out a clipping of the LOST ad that Roger had already noticed.

"Yes, I've just seen it," said Roger. "I missed the book from my shelves, and I believe someone must have stolen it."

"Yeah, I just saw it," said Roger. "I noticed the book missing from my shelves, and I think someone must have taken it."

"Well, now, I want to tell you something," said Aubrey. "To-night I had dinner at the Octagon with Mr. Chapman." "Is that so?" said Roger. "You know his daughter's here now."

"Well, I want to share something with you," said Aubrey. "Tonight, I had dinner at the Octagon with Mr. Chapman." "Oh really?" said Roger. "You know his daughter is here now."

"So he told me. It's rather interesting how it all works out. You see, after you told me the other day that Miss Chapman was coming to work for you, that gave me an idea. I knew her father would be specially interested in Brooklyn, on that account, and it suggested to me an idea for a window-display campaign here in Brooklyn for the Daintybits Products. You know we handle all his sales promotion campaigns. Of course I didn't let on that I knew about his daughter coming over here, but he told me about it himself in the course of our talk. Well, here's what I'm getting at. We had dinner in the Czecho-Slovak Grill, up on the fourteenth floor, and going up in the elevator I saw a man in a chef's uniform carrying a book. I looked over his shoulder to see what it was. I thought of course it would be a cook-book. It was a copy of Oliver Cromwell."

"So he told me. It’s pretty interesting how everything turns out. You see, after you mentioned the other day that Miss Chapman was going to work for you, it sparked an idea in my mind. I knew her dad would be particularly interested in Brooklyn because of that, and it got me thinking about a window-display campaign here in Brooklyn for the Daintybits Products. You know we take care of all his sales promotion campaigns. I didn’t let on that I knew about his daughter coming here, but he mentioned it himself during our conversation. Well, here’s what I’m getting at. We had dinner at the Czecho-Slovak Grill, up on the fourteenth floor, and while going up in the elevator, I saw a guy in a chef's uniform carrying a book. I leaned over to see what it was. I figured it would be a cookbook. It turned out to be a copy of Oliver Cromwell."

"So he found it again, eh? I must go and have a talk with that chap. If he's a Carlyle fan I'd like to know him."

"So he found it again, huh? I need to go have a chat with that guy. If he’s a Carlyle fan, I’d like to get to know him."

"Wait a minute. I had seen the LOST ad in the paper this morning, because I always look over that column. Often it gives me ideas for advertising stunts. If you keep an eye on the things people are anxious to get back, you know what they really prize, and if you know what they prize you can get a line on what goods ought to be advertised more extensively. This was the first time I had ever noticed a LOST ad for a book, so I thought to myself "the book business is coming up." Well, when I saw the chef with the book in his hand, I said to him jokingly, "I see you found it again." He was a foreign-looking fellow, with a big beard, which is unusual for a chef, because I suppose it's likely to get in the soup. He looked at me as though I'd run a carving knife into him, almost scared me the way he looked. "Yes, yes," he said, and shoved the book out of sight under his arm. He seemed half angry and half frightened, so I thought maybe he had no right to be riding in the passenger elevator and was scared someone would report him to the manager. Just as we were getting to the fourteenth floor I said to him in a whisper, "It's all right, old chap, I'm not going to report you." I give you my word he looked more scared than before. He went quite white. I got off at the fourteenth, and he followed me out. I thought he was going to speak to me, but Mr. Chapman was there in the lobby, and he didn't have a chance. But I noticed that he watched me into the grill room as though I was his last chance of salvation."

"Wait a minute. I saw the LOST ad in the paper this morning since I always check that column. It often gives me ideas for advertising stunts. By keeping an eye on what people are eager to reclaim, you figure out what they truly value, and knowing what they value can help you identify which products should be marketed more aggressively. This was the first time I had ever seen a LOST ad for a book, so I thought to myself, 'Looks like the book business is picking up.' When I saw the chef holding the book, I joked, 'I see you found it again.' He was a foreign-looking guy with a big beard, which is unusual for a chef since it could easily end up in the soup. He looked at me as if I had just stabbed him, almost gave me a scare with that expression. 'Yes, yes,' he said, quickly hiding the book under his arm. He seemed both angry and scared, so I figured he might not have the right to be in the passenger elevator and was worried someone would tell the manager. Just as we arrived at the fourteenth floor, I whispered to him, 'It's all right, buddy, I’m not going to report you.' Honestly, he looked even more scared than before. He went pale. I got off on the fourteenth floor, and he followed me out. I thought he was going to say something, but Mr. Chapman was in the lobby, so he didn’t have the chance. However, I noticed he watched me walk into the grill room as if I was his last hope for salvation."

"I guess the poor devil was scared you'd report him to the police for stealing the book," said Roger. "Never mind, let him have it."

"I guess the poor guy was worried you'd tell the police he stole the book," Roger said. "Never mind, just let him have it."

"Did he steal it?"

"Did he take it?"

"I haven't a notion. But somebody did, because it disappeared from here."

"I have no idea. But someone did, because it vanished from here."

"Well, now, wait a minute. Here's the queer part of it. I didn't think anything more about it, except that it was a funny coincidence my seeing him after having noticed that ad in the paper. I had a long talk with Mr. Chapman, and we discussed some plans for a prune and Saratoga chip campaign, and I showed him some suggested copy I had prepared. Then he told me about his daughter, and I let on that I knew you. I left the Octagon about eight o'clock, and I thought I'd run over here on the subway just to show you the LOST notice and give you this tobacco. And when I got off the subway at Atlantic Avenue, who should I see but friend chef again. He got off the same train I did. He had on civilian clothes then, of course, and when he was out of his white uniform and pancake hat I recognized him right off. Who do you suppose it was?"

"Well, hold on a second. Here’s the strange part of it. I didn’t think much of it, except that it was a weird coincidence to see him right after noticing that ad in the paper. I had a long chat with Mr. Chapman, and we went over some ideas for a prune and Saratoga chip campaign, and I showed him some suggested copy I had prepared. Then he told me about his daughter, and I mentioned that I knew you. I left the Octagon around eight o'clock, and I thought I’d hop on the subway to show you the LOST notice and give you this tobacco. And when I got off the subway at Atlantic Avenue, who should I spot but our chef friend again. He got off the same train I did. He was in civilian clothes then, of course, and once he was out of his white uniform and pancake hat, I recognized him right away. Who do you think it was?"

"Can't imagine," said Roger, highly interested by this time.

"Can’t imagine," said Roger, now really interested.

"Why, the professor-looking guy who came in to ask for the book the first night I was here."

"Well, the guy who looked like a professor who came in to ask for the book on the first night I was here."

"Humph! Well, he must be keen about Carlyle, because he was horribly disappointed that evening when he asked for the book and I couldn't find it. I remember how he insisted that I MUST have it, and I hunted all through the History shelves to make sure it hadn't got misplaced. He said that some friend of his had seen it here, and he had come right round to buy it. I told him he could certainly get a copy at the Public Library, and he said that wouldn't do at all."

"Humph! Well, he must really be into Carlyle because he was so disappointed that night when he asked for the book and I couldn't find it. I remember how he insisted that I absolutely MUST have it, and I searched all through the History shelves to check if it had been misplaced. He mentioned that a friend of his had seen it here, and he had come straight over to buy it. I told him he could definitely get a copy at the Public Library, and he said that wouldn’t work at all."

"Well, I think he's nuts," said Aubrey, "because I'm damn sure he followed me down the street after I left the subway. I stopped in at the drug store on the corner to get some matches, and when I came out, there he was underneath the lamp-post."

"Well, I think he's crazy," said Aubrey, "because I'm pretty sure he followed me down the street after I left the subway. I stopped at the corner drugstore to get some matches, and when I came out, there he was under the lamppost."

"If it was a modern author, instead of Carlyle," said Roger, "I'd say it was some publicity stunt pulled off by the publishers. You know they go to all manner of queer dodges to get an author's name in print. But Carlyle's copyrights expired long ago, so I don't see the game."

"If it were a modern author instead of Carlyle," Roger said, "I would think it was some kind of publicity stunt by the publishers. You know they try all sorts of weird tricks to get an author's name out there. But Carlyle's copyrights expired a long time ago, so I don't get what’s going on."

"I guess he's picketing your place to try and steal the formula for eggs Samuel Butler," said Aubrey, and they both laughed.

"I guess he's protesting outside your place to try and steal the recipe for Samuel Butler's eggs," said Aubrey, and they both laughed.

"You'd better come in and meet my wife and Miss Chapman," said Roger. The young man made some feeble demur, but it was obvious to the bookseller that he was vastly elated at the idea of making Miss Chapman's acquaintance.

"You should come in and meet my wife and Miss Chapman," said Roger. The young man hesitated a bit, but it was clear to the bookseller that he was really excited about the chance to meet Miss Chapman.

"Here's a friend of mine," said Roger, ushering Aubrey into the little room where Helen and Titania were still sitting by the fire. "Mrs. Mifflin, Mr. Aubrey Gilbert, Miss Chapman, Mr. Gilbert."

"Here’s a friend of mine," said Roger, leading Aubrey into the small room where Helen and Titania were still sitting by the fire. "Mrs. Mifflin, this is Mr. Aubrey Gilbert, and Miss Chapman, meet Mr. Gilbert."

Aubrey was vaguely aware of the rows of books, of the shining coals, of the buxom hostess and the friendly terrier; but with the intense focus of an intelligent young male mind these were all merely appurtenances to the congenial spectacle of the employee. How quickly a young man's senses assemble and assimilate the data that are really relevant! Without seeming even to look in that direction he had performed the most amazing feat of lightning calculation known to the human faculties. He had added up all the young ladies of his acquaintance, and found the sum total less than the girl before him. He had subtracted the new phenomenon from the universe as he knew it, including the solar system and the advertising business, and found the remainder a minus quantity. He had multiplied the contents of his intellect by a factor he had no reason to assume "constant," and was startled at what teachers call (I believe) the "product." And he had divided what was in the left-hand armchair into his own career, and found no room for a quotient. All of which transpired in the length of time necessary for Roger to push forward another chair.

Aubrey was vaguely aware of the rows of books, the glowing coals, the attractive hostess, and the friendly terrier; but with the intense focus of an intelligent young man, these were all just background to the appealing scene of the employee. How quickly a young man's senses gather and process what really matters! Without even appearing to look that way, he had pulled off the most incredible mental feat known to humans. He had counted all the young women he knew and realized that the total was less than the girl in front of him. He had subtracted this new person from the universe as he understood it, which included the solar system and the advertising world, and found the result was a negative number. He had multiplied what he had in his head by a factor he had no reason to consider "constant," and was taken aback by what teachers call (I believe) the "product." And he had divided what was in the left-hand armchair into his own future, finding no place for an answer. All of this happened in the time it took for Roger to move another chair forward.

With the politeness desirable in a well-bred youth, Aubrey's first instinct was to make himself square with the hostess. Resolutely he occluded blue eyes, silk shirtwaist, and admirable chin from his mental vision.

With the politeness expected of a well-mannered young man, Aubrey's first instinct was to get on the good side of the hostess. Determined, he pushed aside thoughts of her blue eyes, silk blouse, and impressive chin from his mind.

"It's awfully good of you to let me come in," he said to Mrs. Mifflin. "I was here the other evening and Mr. Mifflin insisted on my staying to supper with him."

"It's really kind of you to let me come in," he said to Mrs. Mifflin. "I was here the other evening, and Mr. Mifflin insisted that I stay for dinner with him."

"I'm very glad to see you," said Helen. "Roger told me about you. I hope he didn't poison you with any of his outlandish dishes. Wait till he tries you with brandied peaches a la Harold Bell Wright."

"I'm really glad to see you," said Helen. "Roger filled me in about you. I hope he didn’t overwhelm you with any of his weird dishes. Just wait until he serves you brandied peaches a la Harold Bell Wright."

Aubrey uttered some genial reassurance, still making the supreme sacrifice of keeping his eyes away from where (he felt) they belonged.

Aubrey offered some cheerful reassurance, still making the ultimate sacrifice of keeping his eyes away from where he thought they should be.

"Mr. Gilbert has just had a queer experience," said Roger. "Tell them about it."

"Mr. Gilbert just had a strange experience," said Roger. "Tell them about it."

In the most reckless way, Aubrey permitted himself to be impaled upon a direct and interested flash of blue lightning. "I was having dinner with your father at the Octagon."

In the most reckless way, Aubrey allowed himself to be struck by a direct and eager flash of blue lightning. "I was having dinner with your dad at the Octagon."

The high tension voltage of that bright blue current felt like ohm sweet ohm, but Aubrey dared not risk too much of it at once. Fearing to blow out a fuse, he turned in panic to Mrs. Mifflin. "You see," he explained, "I write a good deal of Mr. Chapman's advertising for him. We had an appointment to discuss some business matters. We're planning a big barrage on prunes."

The high voltage of that bright blue current felt like ohm sweet ohm, but Aubrey didn’t want to risk too much at once. Worried he might blow a fuse, he turned in a panic to Mrs. Mifflin. “You see,” he explained, “I write a lot of Mr. Chapman’s advertising for him. We had a meeting to talk about some business issues. We’re planning a big push on prunes.”

"Dad works much too hard, don't you think?" said Titania.

"Dad works way too hard, don't you think?" said Titania.

Aubrey welcomed this as a pleasant avenue of discussion leading into the parkland of Miss Chapman's family affairs; but Roger insisted on his telling the story of the chef and the copy of Cromwell.

Aubrey saw this as a nice way to start a conversation about Miss Chapman's family matters; but Roger insisted on sharing the story about the chef and the copy of Cromwell.

"And he followed you here?" exclaimed Titania. "What fun! I had no idea the book business was so exciting."

"And he followed you here?" exclaimed Titania. "How fun! I had no idea the book business was so exciting."

"Better lock the door to-night, Roger," said Mrs. Mifflin, "or he may walk off with a set of the Encyclopaedia Britannica."

"Better lock the door tonight, Roger," Mrs. Mifflin said, "or he might walk off with a set of the Encyclopaedia Britannica."

"Why, my dear," said Roger, "I think this is grand news. Here's a man, in a humble walk of life, so keen about good books that he even pickets a bookstore on the chance of swiping some. It's the most encouraging thing I've ever heard of. I must write to the Publishers' Weekly about it."

"Why, my dear," said Roger, "I think this is fantastic news. Here’s a guy, in a simple job, so passionate about good books that he even hangs around a bookstore hoping to snag a few. It’s the most uplifting thing I’ve ever heard of. I have to write to Publishers' Weekly about it."

"Well," said Aubrey, "you mustn't let me interrupt your little party."

"Well," Aubrey said, "you shouldn't let me interrupt your little gathering."

"You're not interrupting," said Roger. "We were only reading aloud. Do you know Dickens' Christmas Stories?"

"You're not interrupting," Roger said. "We were just reading aloud. Do you know about Dickens' Christmas Stories?"

"I'm afraid I don't."

"I don't think so."

"Suppose we go on reading, shall we?"

"Let's keep reading, okay?"

"Please do."

"Go for it."

"Yes, do go on," said Titania. "Mr. Mifflin was just reading about a most adorable head waiter in a London chop house."

"Yes, please continue," said Titania. "Mr. Mifflin was just reading about a really charming head waiter at a London chop house."

Aubrey begged permission to light his pipe, and Roger picked up the book. "But before we read the items of the coffee-room bill," he said, "I think it only right that we should have a little refreshment. This passage should never be read without something to accompany it. My dear, what do you say to a glass of sherry all round?"

Aubrey asked if he could light his pipe, and Roger grabbed the book. "But before we go through the coffee-room bill," he said, "I think it’s only fair that we have a little snack. This passage shouldn’t be read without something to go with it. My dear, how about a glass of sherry for everyone?"

"It is sad to have to confess it," said Mrs. Mifflin to Titania, "Mr. Mifflin can never read Dickens without having something to drink. I think the sale of Dickens will fall off terribly when prohibition comes in."

"It’s unfortunate to admit this," Mrs. Mifflin said to Titania, "but Mr. Mifflin can’t read Dickens without having a drink. I believe the sales of Dickens will drop dramatically once prohibition starts."

"I once took the trouble to compile a list of the amount of liquor drunk in Dickens' works," said Roger, "and I assure you the total was astounding: 7,000 hogsheads, I believe it was. Calculations of that sort are great fun. I have always intended to write a little essay on the rainstorms in the stories of Robert Louis Stevenson. You see R. L. S. was a Scot, and well acquainted with wet weather. Excuse me a moment, I'll just run down cellar and get up a bottle."

"I once took the time to put together a list of how much alcohol gets consumed in Dickens' works," said Roger, "and I can tell you the total was shocking: 7,000 hogsheads, I think. Doing calculations like that is really enjoyable. I've always meant to write a small essay on the rainstorms in Robert Louis Stevenson's stories. You see, R. L. S. was a Scot, so he knew plenty about rainy weather. Give me a sec, I’ll just head to the basement and grab a bottle."

Roger left the room, and they heard his steps passing down into the cellar. Bock, after the manner of dogs, followed him. The smells of cellars are a rare treat to dogs, especially ancient Brooklyn cellars which have a cachet all their own. The cellar of the Haunted Bookshop was, to Bock, a fascinating place, illuminated by a warm glow from the furnace, and piled high with split packing-cases which Roger used as kindling. From below came the rasp of a shovel among coal, and the clear, musical slither as the lumps were thrown from the iron scoop onto the fire. Just then the bell rang in the shop.

Roger left the room, and they heard his footsteps heading down to the cellar. Bock, being like a loyal dog, followed him. The smells of cellars are a special treat for dogs, especially the old Brooklyn cellars which have their own unique charm. To Bock, the cellar of the Haunted Bookshop was a captivating space, warmed by the glow of the furnace and stacked high with split packing cases that Roger used for kindling. From below came the sound of a shovel scraping through the coal, along with the clear, musical clink of the lumps being tossed from the iron scoop onto the fire. Just then, the bell rang in the shop.

"Let me go," said Titania, jumping up.

"Let me go," said Titania, springing to her feet.

"Can't I?" said Aubrey.

"Can’t I?" Aubrey said.

"Nonsense!" said Mrs. Mifflin, laying down her knitting. "Neither of you knows anything about the stock. Sit down and be comfortable. I'll be right back."

"Nonsense!" said Mrs. Mifflin, setting her knitting aside. "Neither of you knows anything about the stock. Sit down and make yourselves comfortable. I'll be right back."

Aubrey and Titania looked at each other with a touch of embarrassment.

Aubrey and Titania exchanged a glance, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Your father sent you his—his kind regards," said Aubrey. That was not what he had intended to say, but somehow he could not utter the word. "He said not to read all the books at once."

"Your dad sent you his—his best wishes," said Aubrey. That wasn't what he meant to say, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to say the word. "He said not to read all the books at once."

Titania laughed. "How funny that you should run into him just when you were coming here. He's a duck, isn't he?"

Titania laughed. "How funny that you ran into him right when you were coming here. He's such a loser, isn't he?"

"Well, you see I only know him in a business way, but he certainly is a corker. He believes in advertising, too."

"Well, you see, I only know him in a professional context, but he definitely is impressive. He believes in advertising too."

"Are you crazy about books?"

"Are you obsessed with books?"

"Why, I never really had very much to do with them. I'm afraid you'll think I'm terribly ignorant——"

"Honestly, I haven't really interacted with them much. I'm worried you'll think I'm really clueless—"

"Not at all. I'm awfully glad to meet someone who doesn't think it's a crime not to have read all the books there are."

"Not at all. I'm really glad to meet someone who doesn't think it's a crime not to have read every single book out there."

"This is a queer kind of place, isn't it?"

"This is a strange kind of place, isn't it?"

"Yes, it's a funny idea to call it the Haunted Bookshop. I wonder what it means."

"Yeah, it's a funny name to call it the Haunted Bookshop. I wonder what it means."

"Mr. Mifflin told me it meant haunted by the ghosts of great literature. I hope they won't annoy you. The ghost of Thomas Carlyle seems to be pretty active."

"Mr. Mifflin told me it meant being haunted by the spirits of great literature. I hope they don't bother you. The ghost of Thomas Carlyle seems to be quite active."

"I'm not afraid of ghosts," said Titania.

"I'm not scared of ghosts," said Titania.

Aubrey gazed at the fire. He wanted to say that he intended from now on to do a little haunting on his own account but he did not know just how to break it gently. And then Roger returned from the cellar with the bottle of sherry. As he was uncorking it, they heard the shop door close, and Mrs. Mifflin came in.

Aubrey stared at the fire. He wanted to say that he planned to do a little haunting for himself from now on, but he didn’t know how to say it nicely. Then Roger came back from the cellar with the bottle of sherry. As he was uncorking it, they heard the shop door close, and Mrs. Mifflin walked in.

"Well, Roger," she said; "if you think so much of your old Cromwell, you'd better keep it in here. Here it is." She laid the book on the table.

"Well, Roger," she said, "if you care so much about your old Cromwell, you might as well keep it in here. Here it is." She put the book on the table.

"For the love of Mike!" exclaimed Roger. "Who brought it back?"

"For the love of Mike!" Roger exclaimed. "Who brought it back?"

"I guess it was your friend the assistant chef," said Mrs. Mifflin. "Anyway, he had a beard like a Christmas tree. He was mighty polite. He said he was terribly absent minded, and that the other day he was in here looking at some books and just walked off with it without knowing what he was doing. He offered to pay for the trouble he had caused, but of course I wouldn't let him. I asked if he wanted to see you, but he said he was in a hurry."

"I guess it was your friend, the assistant chef," said Mrs. Mifflin. "Anyway, he had a beard like a Christmas tree. He was really polite. He mentioned that he was really absent-minded, and that the other day he was in here looking at some books and just walked off with one without even realizing it. He offered to pay for the trouble he caused, but of course, I wouldn’t let him. I asked if he wanted to see you, but he said he was in a hurry."

"I'm almost disappointed," said Roger. "I thought that I had turned up a real booklover. Here we are, all hands drink the health of Mr. Thomas Carlyle."

"I'm almost disappointed," Roger said. "I thought I had found a true book lover. Here we are, everyone raise a glass to Mr. Thomas Carlyle."

The toast was drunk, and they settled themselves in their chairs.

The toast was raised, and they got comfortable in their chairs.

"And here's to the new employee," said Helen. This also was dispatched, Aubrey draining his glass with a zeal which did not escape Miss Chapman's discerning eye. Roger then put out his hand for the Dickens. But first he picked up his beloved Cromwell. He looked at it carefully, and then held the volume close to the light.

"And here's to the new employee," said Helen. This also was sent off, Aubrey draining his glass with a enthusiasm that didn't escape Miss Chapman's sharp gaze. Roger then reached for the Dickens. But first, he picked up his treasured Cromwell. He examined it closely and then held the book up to the light.

"The mystery's not over yet," he said. "It's been rebound. This isn't the original binding."

"The mystery isn't over yet," he said. "It's been rebound. This isn't the original binding."

"Are you sure?" said Helen in surprise. "It looks the same."

"Are you sure?" Helen asked, surprised. "It looks the same."

"The binding has been cleverly imitated, but it can't fool me. In the first place, there was a rubbed corner at the top; and there was an ink stain on one of the end papers."

"The binding has been cleverly copied, but it can't trick me. First of all, there was a worn corner at the top, and there was an ink stain on one of the endpapers."

"There's still a stain there," said Aubrey, looking over his shoulder.

"There's still a stain there," Aubrey said, glancing over his shoulder.

"Yes, but not the same stain. I've had that book long enough to know it by heart. Now what the deuce would that lunatic want to have it rebound for?"

"Yes, but not the same stain. I've had that book long enough to know it by heart. Now what on earth would that crazy person want to have it rebound for?"

"Goodness gracious," said Helen, "put it away and forget about it. We'll all be dreaming about Carlyle if you're not careful."

"Seriously," said Helen, "put it away and forget about it. We'll all be dreaming about Carlyle if you're not careful."




Chapter V

Aubrey Walks Part Way Home—and Rides The Rest of the Way

It was a cold, clear night as Mr. Aubrey Gilbert left the Haunted Bookshop that evening, and set out to walk homeward. Without making a very conscious choice, he felt instinctively that it would be agreeable to walk back to Manhattan rather than permit the roaring disillusion of the subway to break in upon his meditations.

It was a chilly, clear night when Mr. Aubrey Gilbert left the Haunted Bookshop that evening and started walking home. Without thinking too much about it, he felt like it would be nice to walk back to Manhattan instead of letting the noisy chaos of the subway interrupt his thoughts.

It is to be feared that Aubrey would have badly flunked any quizzing on the chapters of Somebody's Luggage which the bookseller had read aloud. His mind was swimming rapidly in the agreeable, unfettered fashion of a stream rippling downhill. As O. Henry puts it in one of his most delightful stories: "He was outwardly decent and managed to preserve his aquarium, but inside he was impromptu and full of unexpectedness." To say that he was thinking of Miss Chapman would imply too much power of ratiocination and abstract scrutiny on his part. He was not thinking: he was being thought. Down the accustomed channels of his intellect he felt his mind ebbing with the irresistible movement of tides drawn by the blandishing moon. And across these shimmering estuaries of impulse his will, a lost and naked athlete, was painfully attempting to swim, but making much leeway and already almost resigned to being carried out to sea.

It’s likely that Aubrey would have completely failed any quiz on the chapters of Somebody's Luggage that the bookseller had read aloud. His mind was flowing freely like a stream rushing downhill. As O. Henry describes in one of his most charming stories: "He appeared decent on the outside and managed to keep his aquarium, but inside he was spontaneous and full of surprises." Saying he was thinking about Miss Chapman would suggest too much reasoning and analysis on his part. He wasn’t thinking; he was being thought about. He felt his mind drifting along the usual paths of his thoughts, like tides pulled by a tempting moon. And across these sparkling estuaries of impulse, his will, like a lost and exposed athlete, was trying hard to swim but was getting nowhere and was already almost resigned to being swept out to sea.

He stopped a moment at Weintraub's drug store, on the corner of Gissing Street and Wordsworth Avenue, to buy some cigarettes, unfailing solace of an agitated bosom.

He paused for a moment at Weintraub's pharmacy, on the corner of Gissing Street and Wordsworth Avenue, to grab some cigarettes, the ever-reliable comfort for a restless soul.

It was the usual old-fashioned pharmacy of those parts of Brooklyn: tall red, green, and blue vases of liquid in the windows threw blotches of coloured light onto the pavement; on the panes was affixed white china lettering: H. WE TRAUB, DEUT CHE APOTHEKER. Inside, the customary shelves of labelled jars, glass cases holding cigars, nostrums and toilet knick-knacks, and in one corner an ancient revolving bookcase deposited long ago by the Tabard Inn Library. The shop was empty, but as he opened the door a bell buzzed sharply. In a back chamber he could hear voices. As he waited idly for the druggist to appear, Aubrey cast a tolerant eye over the dusty volumes in the twirling case. There were the usual copies of Harold MacGrath's The Man on the Box, A Girl of the Limberlost, and The Houseboat on the Styx. The Divine Fire, much grimed, leaned against Joe Chapple's Heart Throbs. Those familiar with the Tabard Inn bookcases still to be found in outlying drug-shops know that the stock has not been "turned" for many a year. Aubrey was the more surprised, on spinning the the case round, to find wedged in between two other volumes the empty cover of a book that had been torn loose from the pages to which it belonged. He glanced at the lettering on the back. It ran thus:

It was the typical old-fashioned pharmacy in that part of Brooklyn: tall red, green, and blue vases of liquid in the windows cast colorful reflections on the pavement; on the glass were white ceramic letters: H. WE TRAUB, DEUTSCHE APOTHEKER. Inside, the usual shelves held labeled jars, glass cases filled with cigars, remedies, and various toiletries, and in one corner sat an old revolving bookcase that had been placed there long ago by the Tabard Inn Library. The shop was empty, but as he opened the door, a bell rang sharply. In a back room, he could hear voices. While waiting for the pharmacist to appear, Aubrey took a casual look at the dusty books in the spinning case. There were the usual copies of Harold MacGrath's The Man on the Box, A Girl of the Limberlost, and The Houseboat on the Styx. The Divine Fire, quite dirty, leaned against Joe Chapple's Heart Throbs. Those familiar with the Tabard Inn bookcases still found in remote drugstores knew that the selection hadn't been updated in many years. Aubrey was even more surprised, when he spun the case around, to find wedged between two other books an empty cover that had been torn away from its pages. He glanced at the lettering on the back. It read as follows:


CARLYLE
——
OLIVER CROMWELL'S
LETTERS
AND
SPEECHES

Obeying a sudden impulse, he slipped the book cover in his overcoat pocket.

Obeying a sudden urge, he slipped the book cover into his overcoat pocket.

Mr. Weintraub entered the shop, a solid Teutonic person with discoloured pouches under his eyes and a face that was a potent argument for prohibition. His manner, however, was that of one anxious to please. Aubrey indicated the brand of cigarettes he wanted. Having himself coined the advertising catchword for them—They're mild—but they satisfy—he felt a certain loyal compulsion always to smoke this kind. The druggist held out the packet, and Aubrey noticed that his fingers were stained a deep saffron colour.

Mr. Weintraub walked into the store, a sturdy German man with discolored bags under his eyes and a face that made a strong case for prohibition. However, he seemed eager to please. Aubrey pointed out the brand of cigarettes he wanted. Since he had coined the slogan for them—They're mild—but they satisfy—he felt a loyal need to always smoke this brand. The pharmacist handed him the packet, and Aubrey noticed that his fingers were stained a deep yellow.

"I see you're a cigarette smoker, too," said Aubrey pleasantly, as he opened the packet and lit one of the paper tubes at a little alcohol flame burning in a globe of blue glass on the counter.

"I see you're a cigarette smoker, too," Aubrey said with a friendly smile, as he opened the pack and lit one of the cigarettes at a small alcohol flame flickering in a blue glass lamp on the counter.

"Me? I never smoke," said Mr. Weintraub, with a smile which somehow did not seem to fit his surly face. "I must have steady nerves in my profession. Apothecaries who smoke make up bad prescriptions."

"Me? I never smoke," said Mr. Weintraub, with a smile that somehow didn't seem to fit his grumpy face. "I need to have steady nerves in my job. Pharmacists who smoke end up making bad prescriptions."

"Well, how do you get your hands stained that way?"

"Well, how did you get your hands all dirty like that?"

Mr. Weintraub removed his hands from the counter.

Mr. Weintraub took his hands off the counter.

"Chemicals," he grunted. "Prescriptions—all that sort of thing."

"Chemicals," he muttered. "Prescriptions—all that kind of stuff."

"Well," said Aubrey, "smoking's a bad habit. I guess I do too much of it." He could not resist the impression that someone was listening to their talk. The doorway at the back of the shop was veiled by a portiere of beads and thin bamboo sections threaded on strings. He heard them clicking as though they had been momentarily pulled aside. Turning, just as he opened the door to leave, he noticed the bamboo curtain swaying.

"Well," Aubrey said, "smoking's a bad habit. I guess I do it way too much." He couldn't shake the feeling that someone was eavesdropping on their conversation. The doorway at the back of the shop was covered by a curtain of beads and thin bamboo pieces strung together. He heard them clacking as if they had been briefly pulled apart. Turning, just as he opened the door to leave, he noticed the bamboo curtain moving.

"Well, good-night," he said, and stepped out onto the street.

"Well, good night," he said, and walked out onto the street.

As he walked down Wordsworth Avenue, under the thunder of the L, past lighted lunchrooms, oyster saloons, and pawnshops, Miss Chapman resumed her sway. With the delightful velocity of thought his mind whirled in a narrowing spiral round the experience of the evening. The small book-crammed sitting room of the Mifflins, the sparkling fire, the lively chirrup of the bookseller reading aloud—and there, in the old easy chair whose horsehair stuffing was bulging out, that blue-eyed vision of careless girlhood! Happily he had been so seated that he could study her without seeming to do so. The line of her ankle where the firelight danced upon it put Coles Phillips to shame, he averred. Extraordinary, how these creatures are made to torment us with their intolerable comeliness! Against the background of dusky bindings her head shone with a soft haze of gold. Her face, that had an air of naive and provoking independence, made him angry with its unnecessary surplus of enchantment. An unaccountable gust of rage drove him rapidly along the frozen street. "Damn it," he cried, "what right has any girl to be as pretty as that? Why—why, I'd like to beat her!" he muttered, amazed at himself. "What the devil right has a girl got to look so innocently adorable?"

As he walked down Wordsworth Avenue, beneath the rumble of the elevated train, past brightly lit diners, seafood restaurants, and pawnshops, Miss Chapman took control again. With the delightful speed of thought, his mind spun in a tightening loop around the events of the evening. The tiny, book-filled living room of the Mifflins, the crackling fire, the cheerful sound of the bookseller reading aloud—and there, in the old easy chair with its stuffing sticking out, that blue-eyed image of carefree youth! Fortunately, he had been positioned so he could observe her without it seeming obvious. The way the firelight flickered on her ankle put Coles Phillips to shame, he insisted. It's amazing how these beings are crafted to tease us with their unbearable beauty! Against the backdrop of dark book covers, her hair glowed with a soft golden light. Her face, radiating a naive yet infuriating independence, filled him with annoyance due to its excess charm. An inexplicable surge of anger propelled him quickly down the icy street. "Damn it," he exclaimed, "what right does any girl have to be that pretty? Why—why, I’d like to hit her!" he muttered, shocked at himself. "What the hell right does a girl have to look so innocently charming?"

It would be unseemly to follow poor Aubrey in his vacillations of rage and worship as he thrashed along Wordsworth Avenue, hearing and seeing no more than was necessary for the preservation of his life at street crossings. Half-smoked cigarette stubs glowed in his wake;[2] his burly bosom echoed with incoherent oratory. In the darker stretches of Fulton Street that lead up to the Brooklyn Bridge he fiercely exclaimed: "By God, it's not such a bad world." As he ascended the slope of that vast airy span, a black midget against a froth of stars, he was gravely planning such vehemence of exploit in the advertising profession as would make it seem less absurd to approach the President of the Daintybits Corporation with a question for which no progenitor of loveliness is ever quite prepared.

It would be inappropriate to follow poor Aubrey in his ups and downs of anger and admiration as he stumbled down Wordsworth Avenue, noticing only what was essential for staying alive at street crossings. Half-smoked cigarette butts glowed behind him; his heavy chest resonated with jumbled speeches. In the darker parts of Fulton Street leading to the Brooklyn Bridge, he shouted fiercely: "By God, it's not such a bad world." As he climbed the slope of that enormous airy bridge, a small silhouette against a sky full of stars, he was seriously planning some intense actions in the advertising business that would make it seem less ridiculous to approach the President of the Daintybits Corporation with a question that no one beautiful is ever really ready for.


[2] NOTE WHILE PROOFREADING: Surely this phrase was unconsciously lifted from R. L. S. But where does the original occur? C. D. M.

[2] NOTE WHILE PROOFREADING: Surely this phrase was unconsciously taken from R. L. S. But where does the original appear? C. D. M.


In the exact centre of the bridge something diluted his mood; he halted, leaning against the railing, to consider the splendour of the scene. The hour was late—moving on toward midnight—but in the tall black precipices of Manhattan scattered lights gleamed, in an odd, irregular pattern like the sparse punctures on the raffle-board—"take a chance on a Milk-Fed Turkey"—the East Indian elevator-boy presents to apartment-house tenants about Hallowe'en. A fume of golden light eddied over uptown merriment: he could see the ruby beacon on the Metropolitan Tower signal three quarters. Underneath the airy decking of the bridge a tug went puffing by, her port and starboard lamps trailing red and green threads over the tideway. Some great argosy of the Staten Island fleet swept serenely down to St. George, past Liberty in her soft robe of light, carrying theatred commuters, dazed with weariness and blinking at the raw fury of the electric bulbs. Overhead the night was a superb arch of clear frost, sifted with stars. Blue sparks crackled stickily along the trolley wires as the cars groaned over the bridge.

In the exact center of the bridge, something dampened his mood; he stopped, leaning against the railing to take in the beauty of the scene. It was late—almost midnight—but in the tall dark cliffs of Manhattan, scattered lights shimmered in a strange, irregular pattern like the few holes on a raffle board—"take a chance on a Milk-Fed Turkey"—that the East Indian elevator operator shows to apartment residents around Halloween. A swirl of golden light floated over the lively uptown atmosphere: he could see the red beacon on the Metropolitan Tower signaling three-quarters. Below the airy deck of the bridge, a tugboat puffed by, its red and green lights trailing over the water. A huge ship from the Staten Island fleet glided gently down to St. George, passing Liberty in her soft glow, carrying exhausted commuters who were dazed with tiredness and blinking at the harsh brightness of the electric bulbs. Above, the night was a stunning arch of clear frost, sprinkled with stars. Blue sparks crackled along the trolley wires as the streetcars groaned over the bridge.

Aubrey surveyed all this splendid scene without exact observation. He was of a philosophic turn, and was attempting to console his discomfiture in the overwhelming lustre of Miss Titania by the thought that she was, after all, the creature and offspring of the science he worshipped—that of Advertising. Was not the fragrance of her presence, the soft compulsion of her gaze, even the delirious frill of muslin at her wrist, to be set down to the credit of his chosen art? Had he not, pondering obscurely upon "attention-compelling" copy and lay-out and type-face, in a corner of the Grey-Matter office, contributed to the triumphant prosperity and grace of this unconscious beneficiary? Indeed she seemed to him, fiercely tormenting himself with her loveliness, a symbol of the mysterious and subtle power of publicity. It was Advertising that had done this—that had enabled Mr. Chapman, a shy and droll little person, to surround this girl with all the fructifying glories of civilization—to foster and cherish her until she shone upon the earth like a morning star! Advertising had clothed her, Advertising had fed her, schooled, roofed, and sheltered her. In a sense she was the crowning advertisement of her father's career, and her innocent perfection taunted him just as much as the bright sky-sign he knew was flashing the words CHAPMAN PRUNES above the teeming pavements of Times Square. He groaned to think that he himself, by his conscientious labours, had helped to put this girl in such a position that he could hardly dare approach her.

Aubrey took in the magnificent scene without paying close attention. He had a philosophical mindset and tried to cope with his discomfort in the overwhelming presence of Miss Titania by reminding himself that she was, after all, a product of the field he admired—Advertising. Wasn’t her captivating presence, the gentle pull of her gaze, even the delightful frill of muslin on her wrist, a testament to the art he chose? Hadn’t he, deep in thought about "attention-grabbing" copy and layout and typeface, in a corner of the Grey-Matter office, contributed to the impressive success and grace of this unaware beneficiary? Indeed, she appeared to him, as he tortured himself with her beauty, a symbol of the mysterious and subtle power of advertising. It was Advertising that had made this possible—that had allowed Mr. Chapman, a shy and quirky little guy, to surround this girl with all the enriching wonders of civilization—to nurture and support her until she shone like a morning star! Advertising had dressed her, fed her, educated her, and provided her with shelter. In a way, she was the ultimate advertisement for her father’s career, and her innocent perfection mocked him just as much as the bright sign he knew was flashing the words CHAPMAN PRUNES above the bustling sidewalks of Times Square. He groaned at the thought that he, through his diligent efforts, had put this girl in a position where he could hardly dare to approach her.

He would never have approached her again, on any pretext, if the intensity of his thoughts had not caused him, unconsciously, to grip the railing of the bridge with strong and angry hands. For at that moment a sack was thrown over his head from behind and he was violently seized by the legs, with the obvious intent of hoisting him over the parapet. His unexpected grip on the railing delayed this attempt just long enough to save him. Swept off his feet by the fury of the assault, he fell sideways against the barrier and had the good fortune to seize his enemy by the leg. Muffled in the sacking, it was vain to cry out; but he held furiously to the limb he had grasped and he and his attacker rolled together on the footway. Aubrey was a powerful man, and even despite the surprise could probably have got the better of the situation; but as he wrestled desperately and tried to rid himself of his hood, a crashing blow fell upon his head, half stunning him. He lay sprawled out, momentarily incapable of struggle, yet conscious enough to expect, rather curiously, the dizzying sensation of a drop through insupportable air into the icy water of the East River. Hands seized him—and then, passively, he heard a shout, the sound of footsteps running on the planks, and other footsteps hurrying away at top speed. In a moment the sacking was torn from his head and a friendly pedestrian was kneeling beside him.

He would never have approached her again, under any circumstances, if he hadn’t unconsciously gripped the bridge railing with strong, angry hands because he was lost in thought. At that moment, someone threw a sack over his head from behind and violently grabbed his legs, clearly trying to lift him over the edge. His unexpected grip on the railing bought him just enough time to save himself. Knocked off his feet by the force of the attack, he fell sideways against the barrier and fortunately managed to grab his attacker by the leg. Muffled in the sack, it was useless to scream; but he held on fiercely to the limb he had grasped, and they rolled together along the walkway. Aubrey was a strong man and could have probably turned the situation in his favor, but as he wrestled desperately and tried to get the hood off his head, a heavy blow struck him on the head, leaving him half-stunned. He lay sprawled out, temporarily unable to fight back, yet he was aware enough to strangely expect the dizzying sensation of falling through the air into the cold water of the East River. Hands grabbed him—and then, passively, he heard a shout, the sound of footsteps rushing on the planks, and other footsteps quickly moving away. Moments later, the sack was yanked off his head and a friendly passerby was kneeling beside him.

"Say, are you all right?" said the latter anxiously. "Gee, those guys nearly got you."

"Hey, are you okay?" said the latter anxiously. "Wow, those guys almost got you."

Aubrey was too faint and dizzy to speak for a moment. His head was numb and he felt certain that several inches of it had been caved in. Putting up his hand, feebly, he was surprised to find the contours of his skull much the same as usual. The stranger propped him against his knee and wiped away a trickle of blood with his handkerchief.

Aubrey felt too weak and dizzy to speak for a moment. His head was numb, and he was sure that a part of it had been caved in. Weakly raising his hand, he was surprised to find that the shape of his skull felt pretty normal. The stranger supported him against his knee and wiped away a trickle of blood with his handkerchief.

"Say, old man, I thought you was a goner," he said sympathetically. "I seen those fellows jump you. Too bad they got away. Dirty work, I'll say so."

"Hey, old man, I thought you were a goner," he said sympathetically. "I saw those guys attack you. It's a shame they got away. It’s some dirty work, I’ll tell you that."

Aubrey gulped the night air, and sat up. The bridge rocked under him; against the star-speckled sky he could see the Woolworth Building bending and jazzing like a poplar tree in a gale. He felt very sick.

Aubrey took a deep breath of the night air and sat up. The bridge swayed beneath him; against the starry sky, he could see the Woolworth Building twisting and dancing like a poplar tree in a strong wind. He felt really nauseous.

"Ever so much obliged to you," he stammered. "I'll be all right in a minute."

"Thanks so much," he stammered. "I'll be fine in a minute."

"D'you want me to go and ring up a nambulance?" said his assistant.

"Do you want me to go and call an ambulance?" said his assistant.

"No, no," said Aubrey; "I'll be all right." He staggered to his feet and clung to the rail of the bridge, trying to collect his wits. One phrase ran over and over in his mind with damnable iteration—"Mild, but they satisfy!"

"No, no," Aubrey said; "I'll be fine." He got unsteadily to his feet and held on to the bridge railing, trying to gather his thoughts. One phrase kept repeating in his mind with infuriating persistence—"Mild, but they satisfy!"

"Where were you going?" said the other, supporting him.

"Where are you headed?" said the other, helping him up.

"Madison Avenue and Thirty-Second——"

"Madison Avenue and 32nd——"

"Maybe I can flag a jitney for you. Here," he cried, as another citizen approached afoot, "Give this fellow a hand. Someone beat him over the bean with a club. I'm going to get him a lift."

"Maybe I can wave down a jitney for you. Here," he shouted, as another person walked by, "Help this guy out. Someone hit him on the head with a club. I'm going to get him a ride."

The newcomer readily undertook the friendly task, and tied Aubrey's handkerchief round his head, which was bleeding freely. After a few moments the first Samaritan succeeded in stopping a touring car which was speeding over from Brooklyn. The driver willingly agreed to take Aubrey home, and the other two helped him in. Barring a nasty gash on his scalp he was none the worse.

The newcomer quickly took on the helpful task and wrapped Aubrey's handkerchief around his head, which was bleeding quite a bit. After a few moments, the first good Samaritan managed to flag down a car that was speeding over from Brooklyn. The driver happily agreed to take Aubrey home, and the other two helped him inside. Aside from a pretty bad cut on his scalp, he was otherwise okay.

"A fellow needs a tin hat if he's going to wander round Long Island at night," said the motorist genially. "Two fellows tried to hold me up coming in from Rockville Centre the other evening. Maybe they were the same two that picked on you. Did you get a look at them?"

"A guy needs a hard hat if he's going to be out on Long Island at night," said the motorist amiably. "Two guys tried to mug me coming in from Rockville Centre the other evening. Maybe they were the same two who messed with you. Did you get a good look at them?"

"No," said Aubrey. "That piece of sacking might have helped me trace them, but I forgot it."

"No," Aubrey said. "That piece of burlap could have helped me track them down, but I forgot it."

"Want to run back for it?"

"Do you want to run back for it?"

"Never mind," said Aubrey. "I've got a hunch about this."

"Don't worry," said Aubrey. "I have a feeling about this."

"Think you know who it is? Maybe you're in politics, hey?"

"Think you know who they are? Maybe you're involved in politics, huh?"

The car ran swiftly up the dark channel of the Bowery, into Fourth Avenue, and turned off at Thirty-Second Street to deposit Aubrey in front of his boarding house. He thanked his convoy heartily, and refused further assistance. After several false shots he got his latch key in the lock, climbed four creaking flights, and stumbled into his room. Groping his way to the wash-basin, he bathed his throbbing head, tied a towel round it, and fell into bed.

The car sped quickly up the dark streets of the Bowery, made a turn onto Fourth Avenue, and pulled over at Thirty-Second Street to drop off Aubrey in front of his boarding house. He thanked his driver warmly and declined any more help. After a few failed attempts, he finally managed to get his latch key in the lock, climbed up four creaking flights of stairs, and stumbled into his room. Feeling his way to the sink, he washed his pounding head, wrapped a towel around it, and collapsed onto the bed.




Chapter VI

Titania Learns the Business

Although he kept late hours, Roger Mifflin was a prompt riser. It is only the very young who find satisfaction in lying abed in the morning. Those who approach the term of the fifth decade are sensitively aware of the fluency of life, and have no taste to squander it among the blankets.

Although he stayed up late, Roger Mifflin was an early riser. It’s only the very young who enjoy staying in bed in the morning. Those nearing their fifties are acutely aware of life passing by and have no desire to waste it under the blankets.

The bookseller's morning routine was brisk and habitual. He was generally awakened about half-past seven by the jangling bell that balanced on a coiled spring at the foot of the stairs. This ringing announced the arrival of Becky, the old scrubwoman who came each morning to sweep out the shop and clean the floors for the day's traffic. Roger, in his old dressing gown of vermilion flannel, would scuffle down to let her in, picking up the milk bottles and the paper bag of baker's rolls at the same time. As Becky propped the front door wide, opened window transoms, and set about buffeting dust and tobacco smoke, Roger would take the milk and rolls back to the kitchen and give Bock a morning greeting. Bock would emerge from his literary kennel, and thrust out his forelegs in a genial obeisance. This was partly politeness, and partly to straighten out his spine after its all-night curvature. Then Roger would let him out into the back yard for a run, himself standing on the kitchen steps to inhale the bright freshness of the morning air.

The bookseller's morning routine was quick and predictable. He usually woke up around 7:30 to the ringing bell that hung on a spring at the bottom of the stairs. This bell signaled the arrival of Becky, the old cleaning lady who came every morning to sweep the shop and clean the floors for the day ahead. Roger, dressed in his old red flannel robe, would shuffle down to let her in, picking up the milk bottles and a paper bag of rolls at the same time. As Becky held the front door wide open, opened the window transoms, and started clearing away dust and tobacco smoke, Roger would take the milk and rolls back to the kitchen and greet Bock. Bock would come out from his little spot and stretch his front legs in a friendly gesture. This was both polite and a way to straighten his back after sleeping all night. Then, Roger would let him out into the backyard for a run while he stood on the kitchen steps, breathing in the fresh morning air.

This Saturday morning was clear and crisp. The plain backs of the homes along Whittier Street, irregular in profile as the margins of a free verse poem, offered Roger an agreeable human panorama. Thin strands of smoke were rising from chimneys; a belated baker's wagon was joggling down the alley; in bedroom bay-windows sheets and pillows were already set to sun and air. Brooklyn, admirable borough of homes and hearty breakfasts, attacks the morning hours in cheery, smiling spirit. Bock sniffed and rooted about the small back yard as though the earth (every cubic inch of which he already knew by rote) held some new entrancing flavour. Roger watched him with the amused and tender condescension one always feels toward a happy dog—perhaps the same mood of tolerant paternalism that Gott is said to have felt in watching his boisterous Hohenzollerns.

This Saturday morning was clear and fresh. The plain backs of the houses along Whittier Street, with their irregular shapes like the lines of a free verse poem, gave Roger a pleasing view of everyday life. Thin wisps of smoke were rising from chimneys; a late baker's wagon was bouncing down the alley; in bedroom bay windows, sheets and pillows were already set out to catch the sun and air. Brooklyn, the admirable borough of homes and hearty breakfasts, greets the morning with a cheerful, smiling spirit. Bock sniffed and scouted around the small backyard as if the ground (every inch of which he already knew by heart) held some new, fascinating scent. Roger watched him with the amused and affectionate condescension that one always feels towards a happy dog—perhaps the same tolerant paternalism that Gott is said to have felt while observing his rambunctious Hohenzollerns.

The nipping air began to infiltrate his dressing gown, and Roger returned to the kitchen, his small, lively face alight with zest. He opened the draughts in the range, set a kettle on to boil, and went down to resuscitate the furnace. As he came upstairs for his bath, Mrs. Mifflin was descending, fresh and hearty in a starchy morning apron. Roger hummed a tune as he picked up the hairpins on the bedroom floor, and wondered to himself why women are always supposed to be more tidy than men.

The chilly air started to creep into his dressing gown, and Roger went back to the kitchen, his small, energetic face bright with enthusiasm. He opened the draft vents in the stove, set a kettle to boil, and went down to revive the furnace. As he came back up for his bath, Mrs. Mifflin was coming down, looking fresh and vibrant in a stiff morning apron. Roger hummed a tune as he picked up the hairpins from the bedroom floor, wondering to himself why women are always expected to be neater than men.

Titania was awake early. She smiled at the enigmatic portrait of Samuel Butler, glanced at the row of books over her bed, and dressed rapidly. She ran downstairs, eager to begin her experience as a bookseller. The first impression the Haunted Bookshop had made on her was one of superfluous dinginess, and as Mrs. Mifflin refused to let her help get breakfast—except set out the salt cellars—she ran down Gissing Street to a little florist's shop she had noticed the previous afternoon. Here she spent at least a week's salary in buying chrysanthemums and a large pot of white heather. She was distributing these about the shop when Roger found her.

Titania woke up early. She smiled at the mysterious portrait of Samuel Butler, glanced at the row of books above her bed, and quickly got dressed. She dashed downstairs, excited to start her new job as a bookseller. Her first impression of the Haunted Bookshop was that it was unnecessarily dingy, and since Mrs. Mifflin wouldn’t let her help with breakfast—only allowing her to set out the salt cellars—she ran down Gissing Street to a small flower shop she had noticed the day before. There, she spent about a week's salary on chrysanthemums and a large pot of white heather. She was arranging these around the shop when Roger found her.

"Bless my soul!" he said. "How are you going to live on your wages if you do that sort of thing? Pay-day doesn't come until next Friday!"

"Wow!" he said. "How are you going to survive on your paycheck if you keep doing stuff like that? Pay day isn’t until next Friday!"

"Just one blow-out," she said cheerfully. "I thought it would be fun to brighten the place up a bit. Think how pleased your floorwalker will be when he comes in!"

"Just one blowout," she said happily. "I thought it would be fun to liven up the place a bit. Just imagine how pleased your floor manager will be when he walks in!"

"Dear me," said Roger. "I hope you don't really think we have floorwalkers in the second-hand book business."

"Wow," said Roger. "I really hope you don't actually think we have sales associates in the used book business."

After breakfast he set about initiating his new employee into the routine of the shop. As he moved about, explaining the arrangement of his shelves, he kept up a running commentary.

After breakfast, he started showing his new employee the daily routine of the shop. As he walked around explaining how his shelves were organized, he kept talking continuously.

"Of course all the miscellaneous information that a bookseller has to have will only come to you gradually," he said. "Such tags of bookshop lore as the difference between Philo Gubb and Philip Gibbs, Mrs. Wilson Woodrow and Mrs. Woodrow Wilson, and all that sort of thing. Don't be frightened by all the ads you see for a book called "Bell and Wing," because no one was ever heard to ask for a copy. That's one of the reasons why I tell Mr. Gilbert I don't believe in advertising. Someone may ask you who wrote The Winning of the Best, and you'll have to know it wasn't Colonel Roosevelt but Mr. Ralph Waldo Trine. The beauty of being a bookseller is that you don't have to be a literary critic: all you have to do to books is enjoy them. A literary critic is the kind of fellow who will tell you that Wordsworth's Happy Warrior is a poem of 85 lines composed entirely of two sentences, one of 26 lines and one of 59. What does it matter if Wordsworth wrote sentences almost as long as those of Walt Whitman or Mr. Will H. Hays, if only he wrote a great poem? Literary critics are queer birds. There's Professor Phelps of Yale, for instance. He publishes a book in 1918 and calls it The Advance of English Poetry in the Twentieth Century. To my way of thinking a book of that title oughtn't to be published until 2018. Then somebody will come along and ask you for a book of poems about a typewriter, and by and by you'll learn that what they want is Stevenson's Underwoods. Yes, it's a complicated life. Never argue with customers. Just give them the book they ought to have even if they don't know they want it."

"Of course, all the random information that a bookseller needs will only come to you gradually," he said. "Little bits of bookshop knowledge like the difference between Philo Gubb and Philip Gibbs, Mrs. Wilson Woodrow and Mrs. Woodrow Wilson, and all that sort of thing. Don’t be intimidated by all the ads you see for a book called 'Bell and Wing,' because nobody ever asks for a copy. That’s one of the reasons I tell Mr. Gilbert I don’t believe in advertising. Someone might ask you who wrote The Winning of the Best, and you'll need to know it wasn’t Colonel Roosevelt, but Mr. Ralph Waldo Trine. The beauty of being a bookseller is that you don’t have to be a literary critic: all you really have to do with books is enjoy them. A literary critic is the kind of person who will tell you that Wordsworth's Happy Warrior is a poem of 85 lines made up entirely of two sentences, one with 26 lines and the other with 59. What does it matter if Wordsworth wrote sentences almost as long as those of Walt Whitman or Mr. Will H. Hays if he wrote a great poem? Literary critics are strange characters. Take Professor Phelps from Yale, for example. He publishes a book in 1918 and titles it The Advance of English Poetry in the Twentieth Century. To me, a book with that title shouldn’t be published until 2018. Then someone might come along and ask you for a book of poems about a typewriter, and eventually you'll learn that what they really want is Stevenson’s Underwoods. Yes, it’s a complicated life. Never argue with customers. Just give them the book they should have even if they don’t realize they want it."

They went outside the front door, and Roger lit his pipe. In the little area in front of the shop windows stood large empty boxes supported on trestles. "The first thing I always do——," he said.

They stepped outside the front door, and Roger lit his pipe. In the small area in front of the store windows were big empty boxes resting on trestles. "The first thing I always do——," he said.

"The first thing you'll both do is catch your death of cold," said Helen over his shoulder. "Titania, you run and get your fur. Roger, go and find your cap. With your bald head, you ought to know better!"

"The first thing you both will do is catch a horrible cold," Helen said over his shoulder. "Titania, go get your fur. Roger, find your cap. With your bald head, you should know better!"

When they returned to the front door, Titania's blue eyes were sparkling above her soft tippet.

When they got back to the front door, Titania's blue eyes were shining brightly above her soft scarf.

"I applaud your taste in furs," said Roger. "That is just the colour of tobacco smoke." He blew a whiff against it to prove the likeness. He felt very talkative, as most older men do when a young girl looks as delightfully listenable as Titania.

"I admire your choice in furs," Roger said. "That color is just like tobacco smoke." He puffed a bit of air against it to demonstrate the resemblance. He felt quite chatty, as many older men do when a young woman appears as wonderfully engaging as Titania.

"What an adorable little place," said Titania, looking round at the bookshop's space of private pavement, which was sunk below the street level. "You could put tables out here and serve tea in summer time."

"What a cute little spot," said Titania, glancing around at the bookshop's area of private pavement, which was set below the street level. "You could set up tables out here and serve tea in the summer."

"The first thing every morning," continued Roger, "I set out the ten-cent stuff in these boxes. I take it in at night and stow it in these bins. When it rains, I shove out an awning, which is mighty good business. Someone is sure to take shelter, and spend the time in looking over the books. A really heavy shower is often worth fifty or sixty cents. Once a week I change my pavement stock. This week I've got mostly fiction out here. That's the sort of thing that comes in in unlimited numbers. A good deal of it's tripe, but it serves its purpose."

"The first thing every morning," Roger continued, "I put out the ten-cent items in these boxes. I bring them in at night and store them in these bins. When it rains, I pull out an awning, which is great for business. Someone is bound to take shelter and spend their time browsing the books. A really heavy rain can often bring in fifty or sixty cents. I change my sidewalk stock once a week. This week I've mostly got fiction out here. That kind of stuff comes in endless supply. A lot of it is junk, but it gets the job done."

"Aren't they rather dirty?" said Titania doubtfully, looking at some little blue Rollo books, on which the siftings of generations had accumulated. "Would you mind if I dusted them off a bit?"

"Aren't they a bit dirty?" said Titania with hesitation, glancing at some little blue Rollo books that had collected dust over the years. "Would you mind if I cleaned them up a bit?"

"It's almost unheard of in the second-hand trade," said Roger; "but it might make them look better."

"It's pretty rare in the used goods market," Roger said, "but it could improve their appearance."

Titania ran inside, borrowed a duster from Helen, and began housecleaning the grimy boxes, while Roger chatted away in high spirits. Bock already noticing the new order of things, squatted on the doorstep with an air of being a party to the conversation. Morning pedestrians on Gissing Street passed by, wondering who the bookseller's engaging assistant might be. "I wish _I_ could find a maid like that," thought a prosperous Brooklyn housewife on her way to market. "I must ring her up some day and find out how much she gets."

Titania rushed inside, borrowed a duster from Helen, and started cleaning the dusty boxes, while Roger chatted happily. Bock, already aware of the changes, sat on the doorstep, acting like he was part of the conversation. Morning walkers on Gissing Street strolled by, curious about who the bookseller's charming assistant was. "I wish _I_ could find a maid like that," thought a well-off Brooklyn housewife on her way to the market. "I should call her someday and ask how much she makes."

Roger brought out armfuls of books while Titania dusted.

Roger carried out stacks of books while Titania was cleaning.

"One of the reasons I'm awfully glad you've come here to help me," he said, "is that I'll be able to get out more. I've been so tied down by the shop, I haven't had a chance to scout round, buy up libraries, make bids on collections that are being sold, and all that sort of thing. My stock is running a bit low. If you just wait for what comes in, you don't get much of the really good stuff."

"One of the reasons I’m really glad you’re here to help me," he said, "is that I can get out more. I’ve been so tied down by the shop that I haven’t had a chance to look around, buy up libraries, bid on collections that are for sale, and all that kind of stuff. My stock is getting a bit low. If you just wait for what comes in, you don’t find much of the really good stuff."

Titania was polishing a copy of The Late Mrs. Null. "It must be wonderful to have read so many books," she said. "I'm afraid I'm not a very deep reader, but at any rate Dad has taught me a respect for good books. He gets so mad because when my friends come to the house, and he asks them what they've been reading, the only thing they seem to know about is Dere Mable."

Titania was polishing a copy of The Late Mrs. Null. "It must be amazing to have read so many books," she said. "I'm afraid I'm not a very avid reader, but at least Dad has taught me to appreciate good books. He gets really upset because when my friends come over, and he asks them what they've been reading, the only thing they seem to know about is Dere Mable."

Roger chuckled. "I hope you don't think I'm a mere highbrow," he said. "As a customer said to me once, without meaning to be funny, 'I like both the Iliad and the Argosy.' The only thing I can't stand is literature that is unfairly and intentionally flavoured with vanilla. Confectionery soon disgusts the palate, whether you find it in Marcus Aurelius or Doctor Crane. There's an odd aspect of the matter that sometimes strikes me: Doc Crane's remarks are just as true as Lord Bacon's, so how is it that the Doctor puts me to sleep in a paragraph, while my Lord's essays keep me awake all night?"

Roger laughed. "I hope you don't see me as just some snob," he said. "As a customer once told me, without meaning to be funny, 'I enjoy both the Iliad and the Argosy.' The only thing I can't stand is literature that's artificially and deliberately bland. Sweet stuff quickly gets tiresome, whether it's from Marcus Aurelius or Doctor Crane. There's a strange thing about it that strikes me sometimes: Doc Crane's comments are just as valid as Lord Bacon's, so why does the Doctor make me nod off in a paragraph, while my Lord's essays keep me up all night?"

Titania, being unacquainted with these philosophers, pursued the characteristic feminine course of clinging to the subject on which she was informed. The undiscerning have called this habit of mind irrelevant, but wrongly. The feminine intellect leaps like a grasshopper; the masculine plods as the ant.

Titania, not knowing these philosophers, took the typical feminine approach of focusing on the topic she was familiar with. Some people have wrongly labeled this way of thinking as irrelevant. The feminine mind jumps around like a grasshopper, while the masculine mind moves steadily like an ant.

"I see there's a new Mable book coming," she said. "It's called That's Me All Over Mable, and the newsstand clerk at the Octagon says he expects to sell a thousand copies."

"I see there's a new Mable book coming out," she said. "It's called That's Me All Over Mable, and the newsstand clerk at the Octagon says he expects to sell a thousand copies."

"Well, there's a meaning in that," said Roger. "People have a craving to be amused, and I'm sure I don't blame 'em. I'm afraid I haven't read Dere Mable. If it's really amusing, I'm glad they read it. I suspect it isn't a very great book, because a Philadelphia schoolgirl has written a reply to it called Dere Bill, which is said to be as good as the original. Now you can hardly imagine a Philadelphia flapper writing an effective companion to Bacon's Essays. But never mind, if the stuff's amusing, it has its place. The human yearning for innocent pastime is a pathetic thing, come to think about it. It shows what a desperately grim thing life has become. One of the most significant things I know is that breathless, expectant, adoring hush that falls over a theatre at a Saturday matinee, when the house goes dark and the footlights set the bottom of the curtain in a glow, and the latecomers tank over your feet climbing into their seats——"

"Well, there’s a meaning in that,” Roger said. “People crave amusement, and I don’t blame them. I’m afraid I haven’t read Dere Mable. If it’s really funny, I’m glad they’re reading it. I suspect it’s not a very great book, considering a Philadelphia schoolgirl has written a response called Dere Bill, which is said to be just as good as the original. You can hardly imagine a Philadelphia flapper writing a compelling companion to Bacon’s Essays. But never mind, if the content is entertaining, it has its place. The human desire for innocent fun is a sad thing, when you think about it. It shows how desperately grim life has become. One of the most meaningful things I know is that breathless, expectant, adoring silence that fills a theater at a Saturday matinee, when the lights go down and the footlights illuminate the bottom of the curtain, and the latecomers stumble over your feet as they make their way to their seats——"

"Isn't it an adorable moment!" cried Titania.

"Isn't this such a cute moment!" exclaimed Titania.

"Yes, it is," said Roger; "but it makes me sad to see what tosh is handed out to that eager, expectant audience, most of the time. There they all are, ready to be thrilled, eager to be worked upon, deliberately putting themselves into that glorious, rare, receptive mood when they are clay in the artist's hand—and Lord! what miserable substitutes for joy and sorrow are put over on them! Day after day I see people streaming into theatres and movies, and I know that more than half the time they are on a blind quest, thinking they are satisfied when in truth they are fed on paltry husks. And the sad part about it is that if you let yourself think you are satisfied with husks, you'll have no appetite left for the real grain."

"Yeah, it is," Roger said; "but it makes me sad to see the nonsense fed to that eager, expectant audience most of the time. There they are, ready to be thrilled, wanting to be affected, deliberately putting themselves in that amazing, rare, receptive mood when they are like clay in the artist's hands—and, oh man! what terrible substitutes for joy and sorrow are given to them! Day after day I watch people streaming into theaters and movies, and I know that more than half the time they are on a blind quest, thinking they’re satisfied when, in reality, they’re being served cheap scraps. And the sad part is that if you convince yourself you’re satisfied with scraps, you’ll lose your hunger for the real thing."

Titania wondered, a little panic-stricken, whether she had been permitting herself to be satisfied with husks. She remembered how greatly she had enjoyed a Dorothy Gish film a few evenings before. "But," she ventured, "you said people want to be amused. And if they laugh and look happy, surely they're amused?"

Titania wondered, a bit panicked, if she had been settling for nothing but empty experiences. She recalled how much she'd enjoyed a Dorothy Gish movie a few nights ago. "But," she said hesitantly, "you mentioned that people want to be entertained. And if they laugh and seem happy, isn’t that entertainment?”

"They only think they are!" cried Mifflin. "They think they're amused because they don't know what real amusement is! Laughter and prayer are the two noblest habits of man; they mark us off from the brutes. To laugh at cheap jests is as base as to pray to cheap gods. To laugh at Fatty Arbuckle is to degrade the human spirit."

"They just think they are!" shouted Mifflin. "They think they’re having fun because they don’t know what real enjoyment is! Laughter and prayer are the two greatest habits of humanity; they separate us from the animals. Laughing at cheap jokes is as low as praying to cheap gods. Laughing at Fatty Arbuckle is a way to degrade the human spirit."

Titania thought she was getting in rather deep, but she had the tenacious logic of every healthy girl. She said:

Titania thought she was getting in pretty deep, but she had the stubborn logic of every healthy girl. She said:

"But a joke that seems cheap to you doesn't seem cheap to the person who laughs at it, or he wouldn't laugh."

"But a joke that seems corny to you doesn’t seem corny to the person laughing at it, or they wouldn’t be laughing."

Her face brightened as a fresh idea flooded her mind:

Her face lit up as a new idea came to her mind:

"The wooden image a savage prays to may seem cheap to you, but it's the best god he knows, and it's all right for him to pray to it."

"The wooden statue that a savage prays to might seem cheap to you, but it's the best god he knows, and it's perfectly fine for him to pray to it."

"Bully for you," said Roger. "Perfectly true. But I've got away from the point I had in mind. Humanity is yearning now as it never did before for truth, for beauty, for the things that comfort and console and make life seem worth while. I feel this all round me, every day. We've been through a frightful ordeal, and every decent spirit is asking itself what we can do to pick up the fragments and remould the world nearer to our heart's desire. Look here, here's something I found the other day in John Masefield's preface to one of his plays: 'The truth and rapture of man are holy things, not lightly to be scorned. A carelessness of life and beauty marks the glutton, the idler, and the fool in their deadly path across history.' I tell you, I've done some pretty sober thinking as I've sat here in my bookshop during the past horrible years. Walt Whitman wrote a little poem during the Civil War—Year that trembled and reeled beneath me, said Walt, Must I learn to chant the cold dirges of the baffled, and sullen hymns of defeat?—I've sat here in my shop at night, and looked round at my shelves, looked at all the brave books that house the hopes and gentlenesses and dreams of men and women, and wondered if they were all wrong, discredited, defeated. Wondered if the world were still merely a jungle of fury. I think I'd have gone balmy if it weren't for Walt Whitman. Talk about Mr. Britling—Walt was the man who 'saw it through.'

"Bully for you," said Roger. "That’s absolutely true. But I got a bit off track. Humanity is craving truth, beauty, and the things that comfort us and make life worthwhile like never before. I can feel it all around me every day. We've been through a terrible ordeal, and every decent person is asking themselves how we can rebuild and reshape the world closer to what we truly want. Look here, I found something the other day in John Masefield's preface to one of his plays: 'The truth and rapture of man are holy things, not to be scorned lightly. A disregard for life and beauty marks the glutton, the idler, and the fool as they move through history.' I've done some serious thinking while I've sat in my bookshop during these past awful years. Walt Whitman wrote a poem during the Civil War—'Year that trembled and reeled beneath me,' said Walt, 'Must I learn to chant the cold dirges of the baffled, and sullen hymns of defeat?' I've sat here in my shop at night, looking around at my shelves, at all the brave books that contain the hopes, kindness, and dreams of people, and I’ve wondered if they were all wrong, discredited, defeated. I’ve wondered if the world is still just a jungle of rage. I think I would have lost my mind if it weren't for Walt Whitman. Talk about Mr. Britling—Walt was the one who 'saw it through.'

"The glutton, the idler, and the fool in their deadly path across history.… Aye, a deadly path indeed. The German military men weren't idlers, but they were gluttons and fools to the nth power. Look at their deadly path! And look at other deadly paths, too. Look at our slums, jails, insane asylums.…

"The glutton, the lazy person, and the fool following their destructive way through history.… Yes, a truly destructive way. The German military leaders weren't lazy, but they were excessive and foolish to an extreme. Look at their destructive path! And examine other destructive paths as well. Look at our slums, prisons, mental hospitals.…"

"I used to wonder what I could do to justify my comfortable existence here during such a time of horror. What right had I to shirk in a quiet bookshop when so many men were suffering and dying through no fault of their own? I tried to get into an ambulance unit, but I've had no medical training and they said they didn't want men of my age unless they were experienced doctors."

"I used to think about how I could justify my comfortable life here while so many people were suffering and dying during such a horrific time. What right did I have to relax in a quiet bookstore when so many men were going through such pain? I attempted to join an ambulance unit, but since I had no medical training, they told me they didn't want men my age unless they were experienced doctors."

"I know how you felt," said Titania, with a surprising look of comprehension. "Don't you suppose that a great many girls, who couldn't do anything real to help, got tired of wearing neat little uniforms with Sam Browne belts?"

"I know how you felt," Titania said, her face showing a surprising understanding. "Don’t you think that a lot of girls, who couldn't really do anything to help, got tired of wearing those neat little uniforms with Sam Browne belts?"

"Well," said Roger, "it was a bad time. The war contradicted and denied everything I had ever lived for. Oh, I can't tell you how I felt about it. I can't even express it to myself. Sometimes I used to feel as I think that truly noble simpleton Henry Ford may have felt when he organized his peace voyage—that I would do anything, however stupid, to stop it all. In a world where everyone was so wise and cynical and cruel, it was admirable to find a man so utterly simple and hopeful as Henry. A boob, they called him. Well, I say bravo for boobs! I daresay most of the apostles were boobs—or maybe they called them bolsheviks."

"Well," Roger said, "it was a terrible time. The war contradicted and denied everything I had ever lived for. Oh, I can't explain how I felt about it. I can't even put it into words for myself. Sometimes, I felt like how I imagine the truly kind-hearted simpleton Henry Ford felt when he organized his peace voyage—that I would do anything, no matter how foolish, to put an end to it all. In a world full of wise, cynical, and cruel people, it was admirable to find someone as completely simple and hopeful as Henry. They called him a fool. Well, I say kudos to fools! I dare say most of the apostles were fools—or maybe they just labeled them bolsheviks."

Titania had only the vaguest notion about bolsheviks, but she had seen a good many newspaper cartoons.

Titania had only a blurry understanding of Bolsheviks, but she had seen quite a few newspaper cartoons.

"I guess Judas was a bolshevik," she said innocently.

"I guess Judas was a communist," she said innocently.

"Yes, and probably George the Third called Ben Franklin a bolshevik," retorted Roger. "The trouble is, truth and falsehood don't come laid out in black and white—Truth and Huntruth, as the wartime joke had it. Sometimes I thought Truth had vanished from the earth," he cried bitterly. "Like everything else, it was rationed by the governments. I taught myself to disbelieve half of what I read in the papers. I saw the world clawing itself to shreds in blind rage. I saw hardly any one brave enough to face the brutalizing absurdity as it really was, and describe it. I saw the glutton, the idler, and the fool applauding, while brave and simple men walked in the horrors of hell. The stay-at-home poets turned it to pretty lyrics of glory and sacrifice. Perhaps half a dozen of them have told the truth. Have you read Sassoon? Or Latzko's Men in War, which was so damned true that the government suppressed it? Humph! Putting Truth on rations!"

"Yeah, and probably George the Third called Ben Franklin a communist," Roger shot back. "The problem is, truth and lies don't come in black and white—Truth and Falsehood, as the wartime joke goes. Sometimes I think Truth has disappeared from the earth," he exclaimed bitterly. "Like everything else, it was controlled by the government. I taught myself to disbelieve half of what I read in the news. I saw the world tearing itself apart in blind rage. I hardly saw anyone brave enough to confront the brutal absurdity for what it really was and describe it. I saw the greedy, the lazy, and the foolish cheering, while brave and honest men walked through the horrors of hell. The stay-at-home poets turned it into pretty lyrics about glory and sacrifice. Maybe a handful of them have told the truth. Have you read Sassoon? Or Latzko's Men in War, which was so brutally honest that the government banned it? Humph! Putting Truth on a diet!"

He knocked out his pipe against his heel, and his blue eyes shone with a kind of desperate earnestness.

He knocked his pipe against his heel, and his blue eyes sparkled with a sense of urgent seriousness.

"But I tell you, the world is going to have the truth about War. We're going to put an end to this madness. It's not going to be easy. Just now, in the intoxication of the German collapse, we're all rejoicing in our new happiness. I tell you, the real Peace will be a long time coming. When you tear up all the fibres of civilization it's a slow job to knit things together again. You see those children going down the street to school? Peace lies in their hands. When they are taught in school that war is the most loathsome scourge humanity is subject to, that it smirches and fouls every lovely occupation of the mortal spirit, then there may be some hope for the future. But I'd like to bet they are having it drilled into them that war is a glorious and noble sacrifice.

"But I’m telling you, the world is going to learn the truth about war. We’re going to stop this madness. It won't be easy. Right now, with the excitement of Germany’s collapse, we’re all celebrating our new happiness. I’m telling you, real peace will take a long time. When you tear apart the very fabric of civilization, it takes a lot of time to piece things back together. Do you see those kids walking to school? Peace is in their hands. When they learn in school that war is the most terrible curse humanity faces, that it stains and taints every beautiful aspect of the human spirit, then there might be some hope for the future. But I bet they’re being taught that war is a glorious and noble sacrifice."

"The people who write poems about the divine frenzy of going over the top are usually those who dipped their pens a long, long way from the slimy duckboards of the trenches. It's funny how we hate to face realities. I knew a commuter once who rode in town every day on the 8.13. But he used to call it the 7.73. He said it made him feel more virtuous."

"The people who write poems about the divine thrill of charging into battle are usually those who furiously scribbled their ideas far removed from the muddy walkways of the trenches. It’s ironic how much we dislike confronting the truth. I once knew a commuter who took the train to the city every day at 8:13. But he called it the 7:73 instead. He said it made him feel more virtuous."

There was a pause, while Roger watched some belated urchins hurrying toward school.

There was a pause as Roger watched some late kids rushing to school.

"I think any man would be a traitor to humanity who didn't pledge every effort of his waking life to an attempt to make war impossible in future."

"I believe any man would betray humanity if he didn't dedicate every effort of his waking life to making sure war is impossible in the future."

"Surely no one would deny that," said Titania. "But I do think the war was very glorious as well as very terrible. I've known lots of men who went over, knowing well what they were to face, and yet went gladly and humbly in the thought they were going for a true cause."

"Surely no one would argue with that," said Titania. "But I do think the war was both glorious and terrible. I've known many men who went over, fully aware of what they were going to face, yet they went eagerly and humbly, believing they were fighting for a just cause."

"A cause which is so true shouldn't need the sacrifice of millions of fine lives," said Roger gravely. "Don't imagine I don't see the dreadful nobility of it. But poor humanity shouldn't be asked to be noble at such a cost. That's the most pitiful tragedy of it all. Don't you suppose the Germans thought they too were marching off for a noble cause when they began it and forced this misery on the world? They had been educated to believe so, for a generation. That's the terrible hypnotism of war, the brute mass-impulse, the pride and national spirit, the instinctive simplicity of men that makes them worship what is their own above everything else. I've thrilled and shouted with patriotic pride, like everyone. Music and flags and men marching in step have bewitched me, as they do all of us. And then I've gone home and sworn to root this evil instinct out of my soul. God help us—let's love the world, love humanity—not just our own country! That's why I'm so keen about the part we're going to play at the Peace Conference. Our motto over there will be America Last! Hurrah for us, I say, for we shall be the only nation over there with absolutely no axe to grind. Nothing but a pax to grind!"

"A cause that is this true shouldn't require the sacrifice of millions of good lives," Roger said seriously. "Don’t think I don’t recognize the terrible nobility of it. But poor humanity shouldn’t be asked to be noble at such a price. That’s the most heartbreaking tragedy of it all. Don’t you think the Germans believed they were also fighting for a noble cause when they started this and brought this misery upon the world? They had been taught to think that for generations. That’s the awful hypnotism of war, the overwhelming mass impulse, the pride and national spirit, the basic instincts of men that make them value their own above everything else. I’ve felt that rush of patriotic pride, like everyone else. Music and flags and soldiers marching in formation have captivated me, as they do all of us. And then I’ve gone home and promised to purge this harmful instinct from my soul. God help us—let’s love the world, love humanity—not just our own country! That’s why I’m so passionate about the role we’re going to play at the Peace Conference. Our motto over there will be America Last! Hooray for us, I say, because we’ll be the only nation there with absolutely no personal agenda. Nothing but peace to promote!"

It argued well for Titania's breadth of mind that she was not dismayed nor alarmed at the poor bookseller's anguished harangue. She surmised sagely that he was cleansing his bosom of much perilous stuff. In some mysterious way she had learned the greatest and rarest of the spirit's gifts—toleration.

It spoke volumes about Titania's open-mindedness that she wasn't upset or frightened by the distressed bookseller's passionate outburst. She wisely guessed that he was venting many troubling thoughts. In a way, she had discovered the greatest and rarest of the spirit's gifts—tolerance.

"You can't help loving your country," she said.

"You can't help but love your country," she said.

"Let's go indoors," he answered. "You'll catch cold out here. I want to show you my alcove of books on the war."

"Let's go inside," he replied. "You'll get a cold out here. I want to show you my collection of books about the war."

"Of course one can't help loving one's country," he added. "I love mine so much that I want to see her take the lead in making a new era possible. She has sacrificed least for war, she should be ready to sacrifice most for peace. As for me," he said, smiling, "I'd be willing to sacrifice the whole Republican party!"

"Of course, you can't help but love your country," he added. "I love mine so much that I want to see her take the lead in creating a new era. She has sacrificed the least for war; she should be ready to sacrifice the most for peace. As for me," he said, smiling, "I'd be willing to sacrifice the whole Republican party!"

"I don't see why you call the war an absurdity," said Titania. "We HAD to beat Germany, or where would civilization have been?"

"I don't understand why you think the war is absurd," said Titania. "We had to defeat Germany, or where would civilization be now?"

"We had to beat Germany, yes, but the absurdity lies in the fact that we had to beat ourselves in doing it. The first thing you'll find, when the Peace Conference gets to work, will be that we shall have to help Germany onto her feet again so that she can be punished in an orderly way. We shall have to feed her and admit her to commerce so that she can pay her indemnities—we shall have to police her cities to prevent revolution from burning her up—and the upshot of it all will be that men will have fought the most terrible war in history, and endured nameless horrors, for the privilege of nursing their enemy back to health. If that isn't an absurdity, what is? That's what happens when a great nation like Germany goes insane.

"We had to beat Germany, sure, but the real absurdity is that we had to overcome ourselves to do it. The first thing you’ll see when the Peace Conference begins is that we’ll need to help Germany get back on its feet so that it can be punished properly. We’ll have to provide food and allow trade so they can pay their reparations—we’ll need to patrol their cities to stop revolutions from destroying everything—and in the end, it’ll be that men fought the deadliest war in history and faced unimaginable horrors, just to take care of our enemy and help them recover. If that’s not absurd, then what is? That’s the outcome when a powerful nation like Germany loses its mind."

"Well, we're up against some terribly complicated problems. My only consolation is that I think the bookseller can play as useful a part as any man in rebuilding the world's sanity. When I was fretting over what I could do to help things along, I came across two lines in my favourite poet that encouraged me. Good old George Herbert says:

"Well, we're facing some really complex problems. My only comfort is that I believe the bookseller can play as important a role as anyone in restoring the world's sanity. When I was stressing about what I could do to help, I found two lines from my favorite poet that inspired me. Good old George Herbert says:"


A grain of glory mixed with humblenesse
Cures both a fever and lethargicknesse.

A bit of glory mixed with humility
Cures both a fever and sluggishness.


"Certainly running a second-hand bookstore is a pretty humble calling, but I've mixed a grain of glory with it, in my own imagination at any rate. You see, books contain the thoughts and dreams of men, their hopes and strivings and all their immortal parts. It's in books that most of us learn how splendidly worth-while life is. I never realized the greatness of the human spirit, the indomitable grandeur of man's mind, until I read Milton's Areopagitica. To read that great outburst of splendid anger ennobles the meanest of us simply because we belong to the same species of animal as Milton. Books are the immortality of the race, the father and mother of most that is worth while cherishing in our hearts. To spread good books about, to sow them on fertile minds, to propagate understanding and a carefulness of life and beauty, isn't that high enough mission for a man? The bookseller is the real Mr. Valiant-For-Truth.

"Running a second-hand bookstore might seem like a simple job, but I've added a bit of glory to it in my imagination. You see, books hold the thoughts and dreams of people, their hopes, struggles, and all their timeless essence. It's through books that many of us discover how incredibly valuable life is. I never understood the greatness of the human spirit and the unstoppable brilliance of the human mind until I read Milton's Areopagitica. Reading that powerful expression of righteous anger uplifts the humblest among us because we share the same humanity as Milton. Books represent the immortality of our species, the foundation of everything truly worth cherishing in our hearts. To spread good books, to plant them in receptive minds, to promote understanding and appreciation of life and beauty— isn't that a noble enough mission for anyone? The bookseller is the true Mr. Valiant-For-Truth."

"Here's my War-alcove," he went on. "I've stacked up here most of the really good books the War has brought out. If humanity has sense enough to take these books to heart, it will never get itself into this mess again. Printer's ink has been running a race against gunpowder these many, many years. Ink is handicapped, in a way, because you can blow up a man with gunpowder in half a second, while it may take twenty years to blow him up with a book. But the gunpowder destroys itself along with its victim, while a book can keep on exploding for centuries. There's Hardy's Dynasts for example. When you read that book you can feel it blowing up your mind. It leaves you gasping, ill, nauseated—oh, it's not pleasant to feel some really pure intellect filtered into one's brain! It hurts! There's enough T. N. T. in that book to blast war from the face of the globe. But there's a slow fuse attached to it. It hasn't really exploded yet. Maybe it won't for another fifty years.

"Here's my War-alcove," he continued. "I've collected most of the really important books that the War has produced. If humanity is smart enough to take these books seriously, it won’t put itself in this situation again. Printer's ink has been racing against gunpowder for many, many years. Ink has a disadvantage, though, because you can blow someone up with gunpowder in half a second, while it might take twenty years to blow them up with a book. But gunpowder destroys itself along with its victim, while a book can keep resonating for centuries. Take Hardy's Dynasts, for example. When you read that book, you can feel it expanding your mind. It leaves you gasping, sick, nauseated—oh, it’s not pleasant to have such pure intellect poured into your brain! It hurts! There’s enough T.N.T. in that book to eradicate war from the earth. But there’s a slow fuse attached to it. It hasn’t really gone off yet. Maybe it won’t for another fifty years."

"In regard to the War, think what books have accomplished. What was the first thing all the governments started to do—publish books! Blue Books, Yellow Books, White Books, Red Books—everything but Black Books, which would have been appropriate in Berlin. They knew that guns and troops were helpless unless they could get the books on their side, too. Books did as much as anything else to bring America into the war. Some German books helped to wipe the Kaiser off his throne—I Accuse, and Dr. Muehlon's magnificent outburst The Vandal of Europe, and Lichnowsky's private memorandum, that shook Germany to her foundations, simply because he told the truth. Here's that book Men in War, written I believe by a Hungarian officer, with its noble dedication "To Friend and Foe." Here are some of the French books—books in which the clear, passionate intellect of that race, with its savage irony, burns like a flame. Romain Rolland's Au-Dessus de la Melee, written in exile in Switzerland; Barbusse's terrible Le Feu; Duhamel's bitter Civilization; Bourget's strangely fascinating novel The Meaning of Death. And the noble books that have come out of England: A Student in Arms; The Tree of Heaven; Why Men Fight, by Bertrand Russell—I'm hoping he'll write one on Why Men Are Imprisoned: you know he was locked up for his sentiments! And here's one of the most moving of all—The Letters of Arthur Heath, a gentle, sensitive young Oxford tutor who was killed on the Western front. You ought to read that book. It shows the entire lack of hatred on the part of the English. Heath and his friends, the night before they enlisted, sat up singing the German music they had loved, as a kind of farewell to the old, friendly joyous life. Yes, that's the kind of thing War does—wipes out spirits like Arthur Heath. Please read it. Then you'll have to read Philip Gibbs, and Lowes Dickinson and all the young poets. Of course you've read Wells already. Everybody has."

"In terms of the War, consider what books have done. What was the first action all the governments took? They published books! Blue Books, Yellow Books, White Books, Red Books—everything except Black Books, which would have been fitting in Berlin. They realized that guns and troops were ineffective unless they could also win the support of the books. Books played a huge role in bringing America into the war. Some German books helped to topple the Kaiser—*I Accuse*, and Dr. Muehlon's powerful outcry *The Vandal of Europe*, and Lichnowsky's private memo, which shook Germany to its core simply because it spoke the truth. Here’s that book *Men in War*, written by a Hungarian officer, with its noble dedication "To Friend and Foe." Here are some French works—books where the clear, passionate intellect of that nation, with its biting irony, burns bright. Romain Rolland's *Au-Dessus de la Melee*, written in exile in Switzerland; Barbusse's haunting *Le Feu*; Duhamel's harsh *Civilization*; Bourget's oddly captivating novel *The Meaning of Death*. And the powerful books that have emerged from England: *A Student in Arms*; *The Tree of Heaven*; *Why Men Fight* by Bertrand Russell—I'm hoping he'll write one on *Why Men Are Imprisoned*: you know he was jailed for his beliefs! And here’s one of the most moving ones—*The Letters of Arthur Heath*, a gentle, sensitive young tutor from Oxford who was killed on the Western front. You should definitely read that book. It reflects the complete absence of hatred from the English side. Heath and his friends, the night before they enlisted, stayed up singing the German songs they loved, as a kind of farewell to their old, friendly, joyful life. Yes, that's the effect War has—erasing the spirits like Arthur Heath. Please read it. Then you'll want to read Philip Gibbs, Lowes Dickinson, and all the young poets. Of course, you've already read Wells. Everyone has."

"How about the Americans?" said Titania. "Haven't they written anything about the war that's worth while?"

"How about the Americans?" said Titania. "Haven't they written anything about the war that's worth reading?"

"Here's one that I found a lot of meat in, streaked with philosophical gristle," said Roger, relighting his pipe. He pulled out a copy of Professor Latimer's Progress. "There was one passage that I remember marking—let's see now, what was it?—Yes, here!

"Here's one that I found really substantial, mixed with some philosophical bits," Roger said, relighting his pipe. He took out a copy of Professor Latimer's Progress. "There was one part I remember highlighting—let's see, what was it?—Yes, here!

"It is true that, if you made a poll of newspaper editors, you might find a great many who think that war is evil. But if you were to take a census among pastors of fashionable metropolitan churches—"

"It is true that, if you conducted a survey of newspaper editors, you might find a lot of them who believe that war is wrong. But if you were to take a poll among pastors of trendy city churches—"


"That's a bullseye hit! The church has done for itself with most thinking men.… There's another good passage in Professor Latimer, where he points out the philosophical value of dishwashing. Some of Latimer's talk is so much in common with my ideas that I've been rather hoping he'd drop in here some day. I'd like to meet him. As for American poets, get wise to Edwin Robinson——"

"That's a perfect shot! The church has made its own bed with most thinking people.… There's another great part in Professor Latimer, where he highlights the philosophical significance of doing the dishes. Some of Latimer's ideas align so much with mine that I've been really hoping he'd stop by here someday. I’d love to meet him. As for American poets, you should check out Edwin Robinson——"

There is no knowing how long the bookseller's monologue might have continued, but at this moment Helen appeared from the kitchen.

There’s no telling how long the bookseller's rant might have gone on, but just then, Helen came in from the kitchen.

"Good gracious, Roger!" she exclaimed, "I've heard your voice piping away for I don't know how long. What are you doing, giving the poor child a Chautauqua lecture? You must want to frighten her out of the book business."

"Good grief, Roger!" she said, "I've heard your voice going on for who knows how long. What are you doing, giving the poor kid a lecture? You must want to scare her away from the book world."

Roger looked a little sheepish. "My dear," he said, "I was only laying down a few of the principles underlying the art of bookselling——"

Roger looked a bit embarrassed. "My dear," he said, "I was just outlining some of the basic principles behind the art of bookselling——"

"It was very interesting, honestly it was," said Titania brightly. Mrs. Mifflin, in a blue check apron and with plump arms floury to the elbow, gave her a wink—or as near a wink as a woman ever achieves (ask the man who owns one).

"It was really interesting, honestly it was," said Titania cheerfully. Mrs. Mifflin, wearing a blue check apron and with chubby arms covered in flour up to her elbows, gave her a wink—or as close to a wink as a woman ever gets (ask the guy who knows).

"Whenever Mr. Mifflin feels very low in his mind about the business," she said, "he falls back on those highly idealized sentiments. He knows that next to being a parson, he's got into the worst line there is, and he tries bravely to conceal it from himself."

"Whenever Mr. Mifflin feels really down about the business," she said, "he relies on those overly idealistic thoughts. He knows that aside from being a minister, he’s gotten into the worst line of work there is, and he tries hard to hide it from himself."

"I think it's too bad to give me away before Miss Titania," said Roger, smiling, so Titania saw this was merely a family joke.

"I think it's a shame to give me away before Miss Titania," said Roger, smiling, so Titania realized this was just a family joke.

"Really truly," she protested, "I'm having a lovely time. I've been learning all about Professor Latimer who wrote The Handle of Europe, and all sorts of things. I've been afraid every minute that some customer would come in and interrupt us."

"Honestly," she protested, "I'm having a great time. I've been learning all about Professor Latimer, who wrote The Handle of Europe, and all kinds of things. I've been worried every minute that some customer would walk in and interrupt us."

"No fear of that," said Helen. "They're scarce in the early morning." She went back to her kitchen.

"No worries about that," said Helen. "They're rare in the early morning." She returned to her kitchen.

"Well, Miss Titania," resumed Roger. "You see what I'm driving at. I want to give people an entirely new idea about bookshops. The grain of glory that I hope will cure both my fever and my lethargicness is my conception of the bookstore as a power-house, a radiating place for truth and beauty. I insist books are not absolutely dead things: they are as lively as those fabulous dragons' teeth, and being sown up and down, may chance to spring up armed men. How about Bernhardi? Some of my Corn Cob friends tell me books are just merchandise. Pshaw!"

"Well, Miss Titania," Roger continued. "You see what I'm getting at. I want to completely change how people think about bookstores. The spark of inspiration that I hope will heal both my restlessness and my boredom is my vision of the bookstore as a powerhouse, a vibrant space for truth and beauty. I believe books are not just lifeless objects; they are as lively as those legendary dragon's teeth, and when they are spread around, they might spring up into armed warriors. What do you think about Bernhardi? Some of my Corn Cob friends say books are just products. Nonsense!"

"I haven't read much of Bernard Shaw" said Titania.

"I haven't read much of Bernard Shaw," said Titania.

"Did you ever notice how books track you down and hunt you out? They follow you like the hound in Francis Thompson's poem. They know their quarry! Look at that book The Education of Henry Adams! Just watch the way it's hounding out thinking people this winter. And The Four Horsemen—you can see it racing in the veins of the reading people. It's one of the uncanniest things I know to watch a real book on its career—it follows you and follows you and drives you into a corner and MAKES you read it. There's a queer old book that's been chasing me for years: The Life and Opinions of John Buncle, Esq., it's called. I've tried to escape it, but every now and then it sticks up its head somewhere. It'll get me some day, and I'll be compelled to read it. Ten Thousand a Year trailed me the same way until I surrendered. Words can't describe the cunning of some books. You'll think you've shaken them off your trail, and then one day some innocent-looking customer will pop in and begin to talk, and you'll know he's an unconscious agent of book-destiny. There's an old sea-captain who drops in here now and then. He's simply the novels of Captain Marryat put into flesh. He has me under a kind of spell; I know I shall have to read Peter Simple before I die, just because the old fellow loves it so. That's why I call this place the Haunted Bookshop. Haunted by the ghosts of the books I haven't read. Poor uneasy spirits, they walk and walk around me. There's only one way to lay the ghost of a book, and that is to read it."

"Have you ever noticed how books track you down and seem to follow you? They’re like the hound in Francis Thompson's poem. They know what they’re after! Take a look at The Education of Henry Adams! Just watch how it's hunting down thoughtful people this winter. And The Four Horsemen—you can see it pumping through the veins of readers everywhere. It’s one of the strangest things to witness a real book on its quest—it keeps at you, drives you into a corner, and MAKES you read it. There's an old book that’s been after me for years: The Life and Opinions of John Buncle, Esq. I’ve tried to escape it, but every now and then it pops up somewhere. It’ll get me someday, and I’ll have no choice but to read it. Ten Thousand a Year followed me the same way until I finally gave in. Words can't capture the cleverness of some books. You think you’ve shaken them off your trail, and then one day, some seemingly innocent person will jump into the conversation, and you’ll realize he’s an unwitting agent of your book fate. There’s an old sea captain who stops by here now and then. He’s like the novels of Captain Marryat come to life. He has me under a kind of spell; I know I’ll have to read Peter Simple before I die, just because he loves it so much. That’s why I call this place the Haunted Bookshop. Haunted by the ghosts of the books I haven't read. Poor restless spirits, they wander around me. There’s only one way to lay the ghost of a book to rest, and that is to read it."

"I know what you mean," said Titania. "I haven't read much Bernard Shaw, but I feel I shall have to. He meets me at every turn, bullying me. And I know lots of people who are simply terrorized by H. G. Wells. Every time one of his books comes out, and that's pretty often, they're in a perfect panic until they've read it."

"I get what you’re saying," said Titania. "I haven't read much of Bernard Shaw, but I feel like I need to. He seems to be everywhere, pushing my buttons. And I know plenty of people who are totally intimidated by H. G. Wells. Every time one of his books comes out, which is pretty often, they freak out until they’ve read it."

Roger chuckled. "Some have even been stampeded into subscribing to the New Republic for that very purpose."

Roger laughed. "Some have even been rushed into subscribing to the New Republic for that very reason."

"But speaking of the Haunted Bookshop, what's your special interest in that Oliver Cromwell book?"

"But speaking of the Haunted Bookshop, what’s your interest in that Oliver Cromwell book?"

"Oh, I'm glad you mentioned it," said Roger. "I must put it back in its place on the shelf." He ran back to the den to get it, and just then the bell clanged at the door. A customer came in, and the one-sided gossip was over for the time being.

"Oh, I'm glad you brought that up," Roger said. "I need to put it back on the shelf." He hurried back to the den to grab it, and just then, the doorbell rang. A customer walked in, and the one-sided gossip ended for the moment.




Chapter VII

Aubrey Takes Lodgings

I am sensible that Mr. Aubrey Gilbert is by no means ideal as the leading juvenile of our piece. The time still demands some explanation why the leading juvenile wears no gold chevrons on his left sleeve. As a matter of fact, our young servant of the Grey-Matter Agency had been declined by a recruiting station and a draft board on account of flat feet; although I must protest that their flatness detracts not at all from his outward bearing nor from his physical capacity in the ordinary concerns of amiable youth. When the army "turned him down flat," as he put it, he had entered the service of the Committee on Public Information, and had carried on mysterious activities in their behalf for over a year, up to the time when the armistice was signed by the United Press. Owing to a small error of judgment on his part, now completely forgotten, but due to the regrettable delay of the German envoys to synchronize with over-exuberant press correspondents, the last three days of the war had been carried on without his active assistance. After the natural recuperation necessary on the 12th of November, he had been re-absorbed by the Grey-Matter Advertising Agency, with whom he had been connected for several years, and where his sound and vivacious qualities were highly esteemed. It was in the course of drumming up post-war business that he had swung so far out of his ordinary orbit as to call on Roger Mifflin. Perhaps these explanations should have been made earlier.

I know that Mr. Aubrey Gilbert is far from being the perfect lead young character in our story. There’s still a need to explain why the lead juvenile doesn’t have any gold chevrons on his left sleeve. The truth is, our young servant from the Grey-Matter Agency was rejected by a recruiting station and a draft board because he has flat feet; although I must argue that their flatness doesn't take away from his overall presence or his physical ability in the usual activities of a friendly young person. When the army "turned him down flat," as he put it, he joined the Committee on Public Information and carried out secretive tasks for them for over a year, until the armistice was signed by the United Press. Due to a minor mistake on his part, now completely forgotten, which stemmed from the unfortunate delay of the German envoys to sync up with overly enthusiastic press correspondents, the last three days of the war went on without his active involvement. After the necessary recovery period on November 12th, he was welcomed back by the Grey-Matter Advertising Agency, where he had worked for several years and where his solid and lively qualities were greatly valued. It was while trying to generate post-war business that he ventured so far out of his usual routine as to visit Roger Mifflin. Maybe I should have explained all this earlier.

At any rate, Aubrey woke that Saturday morning, about the time Titania began to dust the pavement-boxes, in no very world-conquering humour. As it was a half-holiday, he felt no compunction in staying away from the office. The landlady, a motherly soul, sent him up some coffee and scrambled eggs, and insisted on having a doctor in to look at his damage. Several stitches were taken, after which he had a nap. He woke up at noon, feeling better, though his head still ached abominably. Putting on a dressing gown, he sat down in his modest chamber, which was furnished chiefly with a pipe-rack, ash trays, and a set of O. Henry, and picked up one of his favourite volumes for a bit of solace. We have hinted that Mr. Gilbert was not what is called "literary." His reading was mostly of the newsstand sort, and Printer's Ink, that naive journal of the publicity professions. His favourite diversion was luncheon at the Advertising Club where he would pore, fascinated, over displays of advertising booklets, posters, and pamphlets with such titles as Tell Your Story in Bold-Face. He was accustomed to remark that "the fellow who writes the Packard ads has Ralph Waldo Emerson skinned three ways from the Jack." Yet much must be forgiven this young man for his love of O. Henry. He knew, what many other happy souls have found, that O. Henry is one of those rare and gifted tellers of tales who can be read at all times. No matter how weary, how depressed, how shaken in morale, one can always find enjoyment in that master romancer of the Cabarabian Nights. "Don't talk to me of Dickens' Christmas Stories," Aubrey said to himself, recalling his adventure in Brooklyn. "I'll bet O. Henry's Gift of the Magi beats anything Dick ever laid pen to. What a shame he died without finishing that Christmas story in Rolling Stones! I wish some boss writer like Irvin Cobb or Edna Ferber would take a hand at finishing it. If I were an editor I'd hire someone to wind up that yarn. It's a crime to have a good story like that lying around half written."

At any rate, Aubrey woke up that Saturday morning, about the time Titania started to dust the pavement boxes, not feeling particularly heroic. Since it was a half-holiday, he didn't feel guilty about skipping work. His landlady, a caring woman, brought him some coffee and scrambled eggs, insisting on having a doctor come to check on his injuries. He had several stitches before taking a nap. He woke up at noon feeling better, although his head still pounded painfully. Throwing on a dressing gown, he sat in his small room, which was mainly furnished with a pipe rack, ashtrays, and a collection of O. Henry books, and picked up one of his favorite novels for some comfort. We’ve noted that Mr. Gilbert wasn’t what you’d call "literary." His reading mostly consisted of newsstand magazines and Printer's Ink, that straightforward journal for the advertising industry. His favorite pastime was having lunch at the Advertising Club, where he would eagerly study advertising booklets, posters, and pamphlets with titles like Tell Your Story in Bold-Face. He often remarked that "the person who writes the Packard ads has Ralph Waldo Emerson beat by a long shot." Yet, this young man deserved some credit for his love of O. Henry. He understood, as many other happy readers have discovered, that O. Henry is one of those rare and talented storytellers you can read at any time. No matter how tired, down, or shaken in spirit one might be, there's always enjoyment to be found in that master storyteller of the Arabian Nights. "Don't talk to me about Dickens' Christmas Stories," Aubrey thought to himself, recalling his experience in Brooklyn. "I'll bet O. Henry's Gift of the Magi beats anything Dickens ever wrote. What a shame he died before finishing that Christmas story in Rolling Stones! I wish someone like Irvin Cobb or Edna Ferber would step in to complete it. If I were an editor, I’d hire someone to wrap up that tale. It's a crime to leave a good story like that half-finished."

He was sitting in a soft wreath of cigarette smoke when his landlady came in with the morning paper.

He was sitting in a cozy cloud of cigarette smoke when his landlady came in with the morning paper.

"Thought you might like to see the Times, Mr. Gilbert," she said. "I knew you'd been too sick to go out and buy one. I see the President's going to sail on Wednesday."

"Thought you might want to see the Times, Mr. Gilbert," she said. "I knew you had been too sick to go out and buy one. I see the President's set to sail on Wednesday."

Aubrey threaded his way through the news with the practiced eye of one who knows what interests him. Then, by force of habit, he carefully scanned the advertising pages. A notice in the HELP WANTED columns leaped out at him.

Aubrey wove through the news with the experienced eye of someone who knows what grabs his attention. Then, out of habit, he took a careful look at the ads. A notice in the HELP WANTED section jumped out at him.


WANTED—For temporary employment at Hotel Octagon, 3 chefs, 5 experienced cooks, 20 waiters. Apply chef's office, 11 P.M. Tuesday.

WANTED—For temporary work at Hotel Octagon, 3 chefs, 5 experienced cooks, and 20 waiters. Apply at the chef's office, 11 PM Tuesday.


"Hum," he thought. "I suppose, to take the place of those fellows who are going to sail on the George Washington to cook for Mr. Wilson. That's a grand ad for the Octagon, having their kitchen staff chosen for the President's trip. Gee, I wonder why they don't play that up in some real space? Maybe I can place some copy for them along that line."

"Hum," he thought. "I guess I'm replacing those guys who are going to sail on the George Washington to cook for Mr. Wilson. That's a great advertisement for the Octagon, having their kitchen staff picked for the President's trip. Wow, I wonder why they don't promote that more? Maybe I can come up with some marketing for them along those lines."

An idea suddenly occurred to him, and he went over to the chair where he had thrown his overcoat the night before. From the pocket he took out the cover of Carlyle's Cromwell, and looked at it carefully.

An idea suddenly popped into his head, and he walked over to the chair where he had tossed his coat the night before. He pulled out the cover of Carlyle's Cromwell from the pocket and examined it closely.

"I wonder what the jinx is on this book?" he thought. "It's a queer thing the way that fellow trailed me last night—then my finding this in the drug store, and getting that crack on the bean. I wonder if that neighbourhood is a safe place for a girl to work in?"

"I wonder what the problem is with this book?" he thought. "It's strange how that guy followed me last night—then I found this at the drugstore, and got hit on the head. I wonder if that neighborhood is a safe place for a girl to work?"

He paced up and down the room, forgetting the pain in his head.

He walked back and forth in the room, forgetting the headache.

"Maybe I ought to tip the police off about this business," he thought. "It looks wrong to me. But I have a hankering to work the thing out on my own. I'd have a wonderful stand-in with old man Chapman if I saved that girl from anything.… I've heard of gangs of kidnappers.… No, I don't like the looks of things a little bit. I think that bookseller is half cracked, anyway. He doesn't believe in advertising! The idea of Chapman trusting his daughter in a place like that——"

"Maybe I should warn the police about this situation," he thought. "It feels off to me. But I really want to figure this out on my own. I’d look impressive to old man Chapman if I saved that girl from something... I’ve heard about groups of kidnappers... No, I don’t like how things appear at all. I think that bookseller is a bit nuts, anyway. He doesn’t believe in advertising! The thought of Chapman trusting his daughter in a place like that—"

The thought of playing knight errant to something more personal and romantic than an advertising account was irresistible. "I'll slip over to Brooklyn as soon as it gets dark this evening," he said to himself. "I ought to be able to get a room somewhere along that street, where I can watch that bookshop without being seen, and find out what's haunting it. I've got that old .22 popgun of mine that I used to use up at camp. I'll take it along. I'd like to know more about Weintraub's drug store, too. I didn't fancy the map of Herr Weintraub, not at all. To tell the truth, I had no idea old man Carlyle would get mixed up in anything as interesting as this."

The idea of playing a knight errant for something more personal and romantic than a business account was too tempting to resist. "I'll head over to Brooklyn as soon as it gets dark tonight," he thought to himself. "I should be able to find a room somewhere along that street where I can watch that bookstore without being noticed and figure out what's going on there. I've got that old .22 gun from camp. I'll bring it along. I also want to learn more about Weintraub's drugstore. I really didn't like Herr Weintraub's map, not at all. Honestly, I had no idea old man Carlyle would get involved in anything this intriguing."

He found a romantic exhilaration in packing a handbag. Pyjamas, hairbrushes, toothbrush, toothpaste—("What an ad it would be for the Chinese Paste people," he thought, "if they knew I was taking a tube of their stuff on this adventure!")—his .22 revolver, a small green box of cartridges of the size commonly used for squirrel-shooting, a volume of O. Henry, a safety razor and adjuncts, a pad of writing paper.… At least six nationally advertised articles, he said to himself, enumerating his kit. He locked his bag, dressed, and went downstairs for lunch. After lunch he lay down for a rest, as his head was still very painful. But he was not able to sleep. The thought of Titania Chapman's blue eyes and gallant little figure came between him and slumber. He could not shake off the conviction that some peril was hanging over her. Again and again he looked at his watch, rebuking the lagging dusk. At half-past four he set off for the subway. Half-way down Thirty-third Street a thought struck him. He returned to his room, got out a pair of opera glasses from his trunk, and put them in his bag.

He felt a rush of excitement while packing his bag. Pajamas, hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste—("What an ad it would make for the Chinese Paste folks," he thought, "if they knew I was taking a tube of their product on this trip!")—his .22 revolver, a small green box of cartridges meant for squirrel shooting, a book by O. Henry, a safety razor and accessories, a pad of writing paper… At least six nationally advertised items, he told himself, listing his gear. He locked his bag, got dressed, and went downstairs for lunch. After lunch, he lay down to rest since his head was still throbbing. But he couldn’t fall asleep. The thought of Titania Chapman’s blue eyes and her brave little figure kept him awake. He couldn’t shake the feeling that some danger was looming over her. Again and again, he glanced at his watch, annoyed at the slow-setting sun. At four-thirty, he headed out for the subway. Halfway down Thirty-third Street, a thought hit him. He went back to his room, pulled out a pair of opera glasses from his trunk, and added them to his bag.

It was blue twilight when he reached Gissing Street. The block between Wordsworth Avenue and Hazlitt Street is peculiar in that on one side—the side where the Haunted Bookshop stands—the old brownstone dwellings have mostly been replaced by small shops of a bright, lively character. At the Wordsworth Avenue corner, where the L swings round in a lofty roaring curve, stands Weintraub's drug store; below it, on the western side, a succession of shining windows beacon through the evening. Delicatessen shops with their appetizing medley of cooked and pickled meats, dried fruits, cheeses, and bright coloured jars of preserves; small modistes with generously contoured wax busts of coiffured ladies; lunch rooms with the day's menu typed and pasted on the outer pane; a French rotisserie where chickens turn hissing on the spits before a tall oven of rosy coals; florists, tobacconists, fruit-dealers, and a Greek candy-shop with a long soda fountain shining with onyx marble and coloured glass lamps and nickel tanks of hot chocolate; a stationery shop, now stuffed for the holiday trade with Christmas cards, toys, calendars, and those queer little suede-bound volumes of Kipling, Service, Oscar Wilde, and Omar Khayyam that appear every year toward Christmas time—such modest and cheerful merchandising makes the western pavement of Gissing Street a jolly place when the lights are lit. All the shops were decorated for the Christmas trade; the Christmas issues of the magazines were just out and brightened the newsstands with their glowing covers. This section of Brooklyn has a tone and atmosphere peculiarly French in some parts: one can quite imagine oneself in some smaller Parisian boulevard frequented by the petit bourgeois. Midway in this engaging and animated block stands the Haunted Bookshop. Aubrey could see its windows lit, and the shelved masses of books within. He felt a severe temptation to enter, but a certain bashfulness added itself to his desire to act in secret. There was a privy exhilaration in his plan of putting the bookshop under an unsuspected surveillance, and he had the emotion of one walking on the frontiers of adventure.

It was a blue twilight when he arrived at Gissing Street. The block between Wordsworth Avenue and Hazlitt Street is unique because on one side—the side where the Haunted Bookshop is located—the old brownstone houses have mostly been replaced by small, vibrant shops. At the corner of Wordsworth Avenue, where the subway line swings around in a tall, roaring curve, stands Weintraub's drugstore; below it, on the western side, a series of glowing windows beckon through the evening. Delicatessen shops showcase their tempting array of cooked and pickled meats, dried fruits, cheeses, and colorful jars of preserves; small dress shops feature generously shaped wax busts of stylish ladies; lunch spots display the day's menu typed and posted on the outer window; a French rotisserie has chickens sizzling on the spits in front of a tall oven filled with rosy coals; florists, tobacconists, fruit vendors, and a Greek candy store with a long soda fountain gleaming with onyx marble, colorful glass lamps, and nickel tanks of hot chocolate; a stationery shop, now packed for the holiday season with Christmas cards, toys, calendars, and those quirky little suede-covered books by Kipling, Service, Oscar Wilde, and Omar Khayyam that pop up every year around Christmas—such simple and cheerful merchandising makes the western sidewalk of Gissing Street a cheerful place when the lights are on. All the shops were decorated for the Christmas season; the Christmas editions of the magazines were just out and brightened the newsstands with their vibrant covers. This part of Brooklyn has a tone and vibe that feels distinctly French in some sections: one can easily picture themselves in a smaller Parisian boulevard frequented by the lower middle class. In the middle of this charming and lively block stands the Haunted Bookshop. Aubrey could see its windows lit and the shelves filled with books inside. He felt a strong urge to go in, but a bit of shyness added to his desire to act secretly. There was a thrilling excitement in his plan to keep the bookshop under unnoticed watch, and he felt the thrill of someone stepping into the realm of adventure.

So he kept on the opposite side of the street, which still maintains an unbroken row of quiet brown fronts, save for the movie theatre at the upper corner, opposite Weintraub's. Some of the basements on this side are occupied now by small tailors, laundries, and lace-curtain cleaners (lace curtains are still a fetish in Brooklyn), but most of the houses are still merely dwellings. Carrying his bag, Aubrey passed the bright halo of the movie theatre. Posters announcing THE RETURN OF TARZAN showed a kind of third chapter of Genesis scene with an Eve in a sports suit. ADDED ATTRACTION, Mr. AND Mrs. SIDNEY DREW, he read.

So he stayed on the opposite side of the street, which still has an unbroken line of quiet brown front buildings, except for the movie theater at the upper corner, across from Weintraub's. Some of the basements on this side are now home to small tailors, laundries, and lace-curtain cleaners (lace curtains are still a thing in Brooklyn), but most of the houses are still just homes. Carrying his bag, Aubrey walked past the bright lights of the movie theater. Posters advertising THE RETURN OF TARZAN featured a scene reminiscent of the third chapter of Genesis with an Eve in a tracksuit. ADDED ATTRACTION, Mr. AND Mrs. SIDNEY DREW, he read.

A little way down the block he saw a sign VACANCIES in a parlour window. The house was nearly opposite the bookshop, and he at once mounted the tall steps to the front door and rang.

A short distance down the block, he spotted a sign that read VACANCIES in a parlor window. The house was almost directly across from the bookstore, and he quickly climbed the steep steps to the front door and rang the bell.

A fawn-tinted coloured girl, of the kind generally called "Addie," arrived presently. "Can I get a room here?" he asked. "I don't know, you'd better see Miz' Schiller," she said, without rancour. Adopting the customary compromise of untrained domestics, she did not invite him inside, but departed, leaving the door open to show that there was no ill will.

A light brown-skinned girl, typically referred to as "Addie," arrived soon after. "Can I get a room here?" he asked. "I don't know, you should check with Mrs. Schiller," she replied, without any bitterness. Following the usual practice of inexperienced staff, she didn’t invite him inside but left the door open to indicate there were no hard feelings.

Aubrey stepped into the hall and closed the door behind him. In an immense mirror the pale cheese-coloured flutter of a gas jet was remotely reflected. He noticed the Landseer engraving hung against wallpaper designed in facsimile of large rectangles of gray stone, and the usual telephone memorandum for the usual Mrs. J. F. Smith (who abides in all lodging houses) tucked into the frame of the mirror. Will Mrs. Smith please call Stockton 6771, it said. A carpeted stair with a fine old mahogany balustrade rose into the dimness. Aubrey, who was thoroughly familiar with lodgings, knew instinctively that the fourth, ninth, tenth, and fourteenth steps would be creakers. A soft musk sweetened the warm, torpid air: he divined that someone was toasting marshmallows over a gas jet. He knew perfectly well that somewhere in the house would be a placard over a bathtub with the legend: Please leave this tub as you would wish to find it. Roger Mifflin would have said, after studying the hall, that someone in the house was sure to be reading the poems of Rabbi Tagore; but Aubrey was not so caustic.

Aubrey walked into the hallway and shut the door behind him. In a huge mirror, the soft yellow glow of a gas flame flickered in the distance. He noticed the Landseer engraving hanging against wallpaper that mimicked large gray stone tiles, and the usual telephone note for the typical Mrs. J. F. Smith (who seems to live in every boarding house) tucked into the frame of the mirror. It said, "Will Mrs. Smith please call Stockton 6771." A carpeted staircase with an elegant old mahogany railing led up into the shadows. Aubrey, who knew all about boarding houses, sensed right away that the fourth, ninth, tenth, and fourteenth steps would creak. A faint musk scent filled the warm, lazy air: he figured someone was roasting marshmallows over a gas flame. He was well aware that there would be a sign in the house above the bathtub reading: "Please leave this tub as you would wish to find it." Roger Mifflin would have remarked, after looking at the hall, that someone in the house was definitely reading the poems of Rabbi Tagore; but Aubrey was not as cynical.

Mrs. Schiller came up the basement stairs, followed by a small pug dog. She was warm and stout, with a tendency to burst just under the armpits. She was friendly. The pug made merry over Aubrey's ankles.

Mrs. Schiller came up the basement stairs, followed by a small pug dog. She was warm and plump, with a tendency to overflow just under her armpits. She was friendly. The pug joyfully played around Aubrey's ankles.

"Stop it, Treasure!" said Mrs. Schiller.

"Stop it, Treasure!" said Mrs. Schiller.

"Can I get a room here?" asked Aubrey, with great politeness.

"Is it possible to get a room here?" Aubrey asked politely.

"Third floor front's the only thing I've got," she said. "You don't smoke in bed, do you? The last young man I had burned holes in three of my sheets——"

"Third floor front is the only thing I've got," she said. "You don't smoke in bed, do you? The last guy I had burned holes in three of my sheets——"

Aubrey reassured her.

Aubrey comforted her.

"I don't give meals."

"I don't provide meals."

"That's all right," said Aubrey. "Suits me."

"That's fine," Aubrey said. "Works for me."

"Five dollars a week," she said.

"Five bucks a week," she said.

"May I see it?"

"Can I see it?"

Mrs. Schiller brightened the gas and led the way upstairs. Treasure skipped up the treads beside her. The sight of the six feet ascending together amused Aubrey. The fourth, ninth, tenth, and fourteenth steps creaked, as he had guessed they would. On the landing of the second storey a transom gushed orange light. Mrs. Schiller was secretly pleased at not having to augment the gas on that landing. Under the transom and behind a door Aubrey could hear someone having a bath, with a great sloshing of water. He wondered irreverently whether it was Mrs. J. F. Smith. At any rate (he felt sure), it was some experienced habitue of lodgings, who knew that about five-thirty in the afternoon is the best time for a bath—before cooking supper and the homecoming ablutions of other tenants have exhausted the hot water boiler.

Mrs. Schiller turned on the gas light and led the way upstairs. Treasure skipped up the steps beside her. The sight of the two of them going up together amused Aubrey. The fourth, ninth, tenth, and fourteenth steps creaked, just as he had expected. On the landing of the second floor, a transom glowed with orange light. Mrs. Schiller was secretly pleased that she didn’t have to turn up the gas on that landing. Under the transom and behind a door, Aubrey could hear someone taking a bath, with a lot of splashing water. He wondered playfully if it was Mrs. J. F. Smith. In any case, he was sure it was someone who was used to staying in lodgings and knew that around five-thirty in the afternoon is the best time for a bath—before it’s time to cook dinner and the returning tenants have emptied the hot water boiler.

They climbed one more flight. The room was small, occupying half the third-floor frontage. A large window opened onto the street, giving a plain view of the bookshop and the other houses across the way. A wash-stand stood modestly inside a large cupboard. Over the mantel was the familiar picture—usually, however, reserved for the fourth floor back—of a young lady having her shoes shined by a ribald small boy.

They climbed one more flight. The room was small, taking up half the third-floor space. A large window faced the street, providing a clear view of the bookstore and the other houses across the way. A washstand was modestly tucked inside a large cupboard. Above the mantel was the familiar picture—usually meant for the fourth floor back—of a young woman getting her shoes cleaned by a cheeky little boy.

Aubrey was delighted. "This is fine," he said. "Here's a week in advance."

Aubrey was thrilled. "This is great," he said. "Here's a week's notice."

Mrs. Schiller was almost disconcerted by the rapidity of the transaction. She preferred to solemnize the reception of a new lodger by a little more talk—remarks about the weather, the difficulty of getting "help," the young women guests who empty tea-leaves down wash-basin pipes, and so on. All this sort of gossip, apparently aimless, has a very real purpose: it enables the defenceless landlady to size up the stranger who comes to prey upon her. She had hardly had a good look at this gentleman, nor even knew his name, and here he had paid a week's rent and was already installed.

Mrs. Schiller was almost taken aback by how quickly everything happened. She preferred to mark the arrival of a new tenant with a bit more conversation—comments about the weather, the challenge of finding help, the young women guests who dump tea leaves down the sink, and so on. All this seemingly pointless chatter serves a real purpose: it allows the vulnerable landlady to assess the stranger who might take advantage of her. She had barely had a good look at this man, didn’t even know his name, and yet he had already paid a week's rent and moved in.

Aubrey divined the cause of her hesitation, and gave her his business card.

Aubrey figured out why she was hesitating and handed her his business card.

"All right, Mr. Gilbert," she said. "I'll send up the girl with some clean towels and a latchkey."

"Okay, Mr. Gilbert," she said. "I'll send the girl up with some clean towels and a key."

Aubrey sat down in a rocking chair by the window, tucked the muslin curtain to one side, and looked out upon the bright channel of Gissing Street. He was full of the exhilaration that springs from any change of abode, but his romantic satisfaction in being so close to the adorable Titania was somewhat marred by a sense of absurdity, which is feared by young men more than wounds and death. He could see the lighted windows of the Haunted Bookshop quite plainly, but he could not think of any adequate excuse for going over there. And already he realized that to be near Miss Chapman was not at all the consolation he had expected it would be. He had a powerful desire to see her. He turned off the gas, lit his pipe, opened the window, and focussed the opera glasses on the door of the bookshop. It brought the place tantalizingly near. He could see the table at the front of the shop, Roger's bulletin board under the electric light, and one or two nondescript customers gleaning along the shelves. Then something bounded violently under the third button of his shirt. There she was! In the bright, prismatic little circle of the lenses he could see Titania. Heavenly creature, in her white V-necked blouse and brown skirt, there she was looking at a book. He saw her put out one arm and caught the twinkle of her wrist-watch. In the startling familiarity of the magnifying glass he could see her bright, unconscious face, the merry profile of her cheek and chin.… "The idea of that girl working in a second-hand bookstore!" he exclaimed. "It's positive sacrilege! Old man Chapman must be crazy."

Aubrey settled into a rocking chair by the window, pushed the muslin curtain aside, and gazed out at the bright stretch of Gissing Street. He was buzzing with the excitement that comes from moving to a new place, but his romantic joy about being so close to the lovely Titania was slightly dampened by a feeling of absurdity, which young men fear more than injury or death. He could clearly see the lit windows of the Haunted Bookshop, but he couldn't come up with a good reason to go over there. Already, he was realizing that being near Miss Chapman wasn't the comfort he had hoped for. He had a strong urge to see her. He turned off the gas, lit his pipe, opened the window, and focused the opera glasses on the bookshop's door. It brought the place teasingly close. He could see the table at the front of the shop, Roger's bulletin board glowing under the electric light, and a couple of unremarkable customers browsing the shelves. Then something jumped wildly under the third button of his shirt. There she was! In the bright, colorful circle of the lenses, he could see Titania. Heavenly being, in her white V-neck blouse and brown skirt, there she was, looking at a book. He saw her reach out with one arm and caught the sparkle of her wristwatch. Through the surprising clarity of the magnifying glasses, he could see her bright, unaware face, the cheerful curve of her cheek and chin... "The idea of that girl working in a second-hand bookstore!" he exclaimed. "It's absolute madness! Old man Chapman must be insane."

He took out his pyjamas and threw them on the bed; put his toothbrush and razor on the wash-basin, laid hairbrushes and O. Henry on the bureau. Feeling rather serio-comic he loaded his small revolver and hipped it. It was six o'clock, and he wound his watch. He was a little uncertain what to do: whether to keep a vigil at the window with the opera glasses, or go down in the street where he could watch the bookshop more nearly. In the excitement of the adventure he had forgotten all about the cut on his scalp, and felt quite chipper. In leaving Madison Avenue he had attempted to excuse the preposterousness of his excursion by thinking that a quiet week-end in Brooklyn would give him an opportunity to jot down some tentative ideas for Daintybits advertising copy which he planned to submit to his chief on Monday. But now that he was here he felt the impossibility of attacking any such humdrum task. How could he sit down in cold blood to devise any "attention-compelling" lay-outs for Daintybits Tapioca and Chapman's Cherished Saratoga Chips, when the daintiest bit of all was only a few yards away? For the first time was made plain to him the amazing power of young women to interfere with the legitimate commerce of the world. He did get so far as to take out his pad of writing paper and jot down

He pulled out his pajamas and tossed them onto the bed; set his toothbrush and razor on the sink, and placed hairbrushes and an O. Henry book on the dresser. Feeling a mix of serious and humorous, he loaded his small revolver and tucked it away. It was six o'clock, so he wound his watch. He was a bit unsure about what to do: whether to keep watch at the window with the binoculars or go downstairs to get a closer look at the bookstore. In the excitement of the adventure, he had completely forgotten about the cut on his scalp and felt quite upbeat. Leaving Madison Avenue, he had tried to justify his ridiculous trip by thinking that a quiet weekend in Brooklyn would allow him to brainstorm some preliminary ideas for Daintybits advertising copy that he planned to show his boss on Monday. But now that he was here, he found it impossible to focus on any mundane task. How could he sit down calmly to come up with any "attention-grabbing" layouts for Daintybits Tapioca and Chapman's Cherished Saratoga Chips when the most delightful distraction was just a few yards away? For the first time, he clearly realized the incredible power of young women to disrupt the routine operations of the world. He even managed to take out his notepad and jot down


CHAPMAN'S CHERISHED CHIPS

These delicate wafers, crisped by a secret process, cherish in their unique tang and flavour all the life-giving nutriment that has made the potato the King of Vegetables——

These delicate wafers, crisped by a secret process, hold in their unique taste and flavor all the nourishing qualities that have made the potato the King of Vegetables——


But the face of Miss Titania kept coming between his hand and brain. Of what avail to flood the world with Chapman Chips if the girl herself should come to any harm? "Was this the face that launched a thousand chips?" he murmured, and for an instant wished he had brought The Oxford Book of English Verse instead of O. Henry.

But Miss Titania's face kept getting in the way of his thoughts. What good would it do to flood the world with Chapman Chips if something happened to her? "Was this the face that launched a thousand chips?" he mumbled, and for a moment he wished he had brought The Oxford Book of English Verse instead of O. Henry.

A tap sounded at his door, and Mrs. Schiller appeared. "Telephone for you, Mr. Gilbert," she said.

A knock echoed at his door, and Mrs. Schiller walked in. "There's a phone call for you, Mr. Gilbert," she said.

"For ME?" said Aubrey in amazement. How could it be for him, he thought, for no one knew he was there.

"For me?" said Aubrey in disbelief. How could it be meant for him, he wondered, since no one knew he was there.

"The party on the wire asked to speak to the gentleman who arrived about half an hour ago, and I guess you must be the one he means."

"The person on the line wants to talk to the guy who showed up about thirty minutes ago, and I think you must be the one he's talking about."

"Did he say who he is?" asked Aubrey.

"Did he say who he is?" Aubrey asked.

"No, sir."

"No way."

For a moment Aubrey thought of refusing to answer the call. Then it occurred to him that this would arouse Mrs. Schiller's suspicions. He ran down to the telephone, which stood under the stairs in the front hall.

For a moment, Aubrey considered ignoring the call. Then he realized that would raise Mrs. Schiller's suspicions. He rushed down to the phone, which was located under the stairs in the front hall.

"Hello," he said.

"Hey," he said.

"Is this the new guest?" said a voice—a deep, gargling kind of voice.

"Is this the new guest?" said a voice—a deep, raspy kind of voice.

"Yes," said Aubrey.

"Yes," said Aubrey.

"Is this the gentleman that arrived half an hour ago with a handbag?"

"Is this the guy who showed up half an hour ago with a handbag?"

"Yes; who are you?"

"Yes, who are you?"

"I'm a friend," said the voice; "I wish you well."

"I'm a friend," said the voice. "I hope you're doing well."

"How do you do, friend and well-wisher," said Aubrey genially.

"How's it going, friend and well-wisher," said Aubrey warmly.

"I schust want to warn you that Gissing Street is not healthy for you," said the voice.

"I just want to warn you that Gissing Street isn't good for you," said the voice.

"Is that so?" said Aubrey sharply. "Who are you?"

"Is that so?" Aubrey replied sharply. "Who are you?"

"I am a friend," buzzed the receiver. There was a harsh, bass note in the voice that made the diaphragm at Aubrey's ear vibrate tinnily. Aubrey grew angry.

"I’m a friend," buzzed the receiver. There was a deep, rough tone in the voice that made the speaker in Aubrey's ear vibrate sharply. Aubrey got angry.

"Well, Herr Freund," he said, "if you're the well-wisher I met on the Bridge last night, watch your step. I've got your number."

"Well, Mr. Friend," he said, "if you're the supporter I ran into on the Bridge last night, be careful. I've got your number."

There was a pause. Then the other repeated, ponderously, "I am a friend. Gissing Street is not healthy for you." There was a click, and he had rung off.

There was a pause. Then the other person repeated, heavily, "I'm a friend. Gissing Street isn't good for you." There was a click, and he hung up.

Aubrey was a good deal perplexed. He returned to his room, and sat in the dark by the window, smoking a pipe and thinking, with his eyes on the bookshop.

Aubrey was quite puzzled. He went back to his room, sat in the dark by the window, smoked a pipe, and thought, his eyes fixed on the bookshop.

There was no longer any doubt in his mind that something sinister was afoot. He reviewed in memory the events of the past few days.

There was no longer any doubt in his mind that something shady was going on. He recalled the events of the past few days.

It was on Monday that a bookloving friend had first told him of the existence of the shop on Gissing Street. On Tuesday evening he had gone round to visit the place, and had stayed to supper with Mr. Mifflin. On Wednesday and Thursday he had been busy at the office, and the idea of an intensive Daintybit campaign in Brooklyn had occurred to him. On Friday he had dined with Mr. Chapman, and had run into a curious string of coincidences. He tabulated them:—

It was on Monday that a friend who loved books first mentioned the shop on Gissing Street. On Tuesday evening, he went to check it out and ended up having dinner with Mr. Mifflin. On Wednesday and Thursday, he was busy at the office, and the idea of an intense Daintybit campaign in Brooklyn came to him. On Friday, he had dinner with Mr. Chapman and encountered a strange series of coincidences. He listed them out:—

(1) The Lost ad in the Times on Friday morning.

(1) The lost ad in the Times on Friday morning.

(2) The chef in the elevator carrying the book that was supposed to be lost—he being the same man Aubrey had seen in the bookshop on Tuesday evening.

(2) The chef in the elevator holding the book that was thought to be lost—he was the same guy Aubrey had seen in the bookstore on Tuesday evening.

(3) Seeing the chef again on Gissing Street.

(3) Running into the chef again on Gissing Street.

(4) The return of the book to the bookshop.

(4) The return of the book to the bookstore.

(5) Mifflin had said that the book had been stolen from him. Then why should it be either advertised or returned?

(5) Mifflin said the book was stolen from him. So why should it be advertised or returned?

(6) The rebinding of the book.

(6) The rebinding of the book.

(7) Finding the original cover of the book in Weintraub's drug store.

(7) Discovering the original cover of the book in Weintraub's pharmacy.

(8) The affair on the Bridge.

(8) The event on the Bridge.

(9) The telephone message from "a friend"—a friend with an obviously Teutonic voice.

(9) The phone message from "a friend"—a friend with a clearly German-sounding voice.


He remembered the face of anger and fear displayed by the Octagon chef when he had spoken to him in the elevator. Until this oddly menacing telephone message, he could have explained the attack on the Bridge as merely a haphazard foot-pad enterprise; but now he was forced to conclude that it was in some way connected with his visits to the bookshop. He felt, too, that in some unknown way Weintraub's drug store had something to do with it. Would he have been attacked if he had not taken the book cover from the drug store? He got the cover out of his bag and looked at it again. It was of plain blue cloth, with the title stamped in gold on the back, and at the bottom the lettering London: Chapman and Hall. From the width of the backstrap it was evident that the book had been a fat one. Inside the front cover the figure 60 was written in red pencil—this he took to be Roger Mifflin's price mark. Inside the back cover he found the following notations—

He recalled the look of anger and fear on the Octagon chef’s face when he had talked to him in the elevator. Until he received that strangely threatening phone call, he could have explained the attack on the Bridge as just a random mugging; but now he had to assume it was somehow linked to his trips to the bookshop. He also felt that Weintraub's drug store was involved in some way. Would he have been attacked if he hadn’t taken the book cover from the drug store? He pulled the cover out of his bag and examined it again. It was plain blue cloth, with the title stamped in gold on the back, and at the bottom the words London: Chapman and Hall. The width of the backstrap made it clear that the book had been a hefty one. Inside the front cover, the number 60 was written in red pencil—he guessed this was Roger Mifflin's price mark. Inside the back cover, he found the following notes—


vol. 3—166, 174, 210, 329, 349
329 ff. cf. W. W.

vol. 3—166, 174, 210, 329, 349
329 ff. see W. W.


These references were written in black ink, in a small, neat hand. Below them, in quite a different script and in pale violet ink, was written

These references were written in black ink, in a small, neat handwriting. Below them, in a completely different style and in light purple ink, was written


153 (3) 1, 2

153 (3) 1, 2


"I suppose these are page numbers," Aubrey thought. "I think I'd better have a look at that book."

"I guess these are page numbers," Aubrey thought. "I should probably check out that book."

He put the cover in his pocket and went out for a bite of supper. "It's a puzzle with three sides to it," he thought, as he descended the crepitant stairs, "The Bookshop, the Octagon, and Weintraub's; but that book seems to be the clue to the whole business."

He put the cover in his pocket and went out for a quick dinner. "It's a puzzle with three parts," he thought as he walked down the creaky stairs, "The Bookshop, the Octagon, and Weintraub's; but that book seems to be the key to the whole situation."




Chapter VIII

Aubrey Goes to the Movies, and Wishes he Knew More German

A few doors from the bookshop was a small lunchroom named after the great city of Milwaukee, one of those pleasant refectories where the diner buys his food at the counter and eats it sitting in a flat-armed chair. Aubrey got a bowl of soup, a cup of coffee, beef stew, and bran muffins, and took them to an empty seat by the window. He ate with one eye on the street. From his place in the corner he could command the strip of pavement in front of Mifflin's shop. Halfway through the stew he saw Roger come out onto the pavement and begin to remove the books from the boxes.

A few doors down from the bookshop was a small lunchroom named after the great city of Milwaukee, one of those nice spots where you order your food at the counter and sit in a comfy chair to eat. Aubrey got a bowl of soup, a cup of coffee, beef stew, and bran muffins, and took them to an empty seat by the window. He ate with one eye on the street. From his corner seat, he could see the stretch of pavement in front of Mifflin's shop. Halfway through the stew, he noticed Roger come out onto the pavement and start taking the books out of the boxes.

After finishing his supper he lit one of his "mild but they satisfy" cigarettes and sat in the comfortable warmth of a near-by radiator. A large black cat lay sprawled on the next chair. Up at the service counter there was a pleasant clank of stout crockery as occasional customers came in and ordered their victuals. Aubrey began to feel a relaxation swim through his veins. Gissing Street was very bright and orderly in its Saturday evening bustle. Certainly it was grotesque to imagine melodrama hanging about a second-hand bookshop in Brooklyn. The revolver felt absurdly lumpy and uncomfortable in his hip pocket. What a different aspect a little hot supper gives to affairs! The most resolute idealist or assassin had better write his poems or plan his atrocities before the evening meal. After the narcosis of that repast the spirit falls into a softer mood, eager only to be amused. Even Milton would hardly have had the inhuman fortitude to sit down to the manuscript of Paradise Lost right after supper. Aubrey began to wonder if his unpleasant suspicions had not been overdrawn. He thought how delightful it would be to stop in at the bookshop and ask Titania to go to the movies with him.

After finishing his dinner, he lit one of his "mild but satisfying" cigarettes and settled into the cozy warmth of a nearby radiator. A large black cat lounged on the next chair. At the service counter, the cheerful clinking of sturdy dishes echoed as occasional customers came in and ordered their food. Aubrey started to feel a sense of relaxation wash over him. Gissing Street was bright and orderly in its Saturday evening buzz. It certainly seemed absurd to picture any drama unfolding in a second-hand bookstore in Brooklyn. The revolver felt awkward and uncomfortable in his hip pocket. It's amazing how a warm dinner can change everything! Even the most determined idealist or assassin should probably write their poems or plot their schemes before dinner. After that satisfying meal, the spirit tends to soften, craving only amusement. Even Milton would hardly have had the extreme resolve to dive into writing Paradise Lost right after dinner. Aubrey began to wonder if his unpleasant suspicions had been overblown. He thought about how lovely it would be to stop by the bookstore and invite Titania to the movies with him.

Curious magic of thought! The idea was still sparkling in his mind when he saw Titania and Mrs. Mifflin emerge from the bookshop and pass briskly in front of the lunchroom. They were talking and laughing merrily. Titania's face, shining with young vitality, seemed to him more "attention-compelling" than any ten-point Caslon type-arrangement he had ever seen. He admired the layout of her face from the standpoint of his cherished technique. "Just enough 'white space,'" he thought, "to set off her eyes as the 'centre of interest.' Her features aren't this modern bold-face stuff, set solid," he said to himself, thinking typographically. "They're rather French old-style italic, slightly leaded. Set on 22-point body, I guess. Old man Chapman's a pretty good typefounder, you have to hand it to him."

Curious magic of thought! The idea was still shining in his mind when he saw Titania and Mrs. Mifflin come out of the bookshop and walk briskly past the lunchroom. They were chatting and laughing happily. Titania's face, glowing with youthful energy, seemed to him more "attention-grabbing" than any ten-point Caslon type arrangement he had ever seen. He admired the shape of her face from the perspective of his favorite technique. "Just enough 'white space,'" he thought, "to highlight her eyes as the 'center of interest.' Her features aren't this modern bold-face stuff, solid and heavy," he said to himself, thinking in typographic terms. "They're more like French old-style italic, slightly spaced out. Set on 22-point type, I guess. Old man Chapman's a pretty good type founder; you have to give him credit."

He smiled at this conceit, seized hat and coat, and dashed out of the lunchroom.

He smiled at this idea, grabbed his hat and coat, and rushed out of the lunchroom.

Mrs. Mifflin and Titania had halted a few yards up the street, and were looking at some pert little bonnets in a window. Aubrey hurried across the street, ran up to the next corner, recrossed, and walked down the eastern pavement. In this way he would meet them as though he were coming from the subway. He felt rather more excited than King Albert re-entering Brussels. He saw them coming, chattering together in the delightful fashion of women out on a spree. Helen seemed much younger in the company of her companion. "A lining of pussy-willow taffeta and an embroidered slip-on," she was saying.

Mrs. Mifflin and Titania had stopped a few yards up the street, looking at some cute little bonnets in a window. Aubrey hurried across the street, ran to the next corner, crossed back, and walked down the east side of the street. This way, he would meet them like he was coming from the subway. He felt more excited than King Albert coming back to Brussels. He saw them approaching, chatting together in that fun way women do when they're out enjoying themselves. Helen looked much younger with her friend. "A lining of pussy-willow taffeta and an embroidered slip-on," she was saying.

Aubrey steered onto them with an admirable gesture of surprise.

Aubrey drove up to them with an impressive look of surprise.

"Well, I never!" said Mrs. Mifflin. "Here's Mr. Gilbert. Were you coming to see Roger?" she added, rather enjoying the young man's predicament.

"Well, I can't believe this!" said Mrs. Mifflin. "Look who it is, Mr. Gilbert. Were you on your way to see Roger?" she added, finding some amusement in the young man's situation.

Titania shook hands cordially. Aubrey, searching the old-style italics with the desperate intensity of a proof-reader, saw no evidence of chagrin at seeing him again so soon.

Titania shook hands warmly. Aubrey, scanning the old-style italics with the urgent focus of a proofreader, found no sign of embarrassment at seeing him again so soon.

"Why," he said rather lamely, "I was coming to see you all. I—I wondered how you were getting along."

"Why," he said a bit awkwardly, "I was coming to see all of you. I—I was curious about how you were doing."

Mrs. Mifflin had pity on him. "We've left Mr. Mifflin to look after the shop," she said. "He's busy with some of his old crony customers. Why don't you come with us to the movies?"

Mrs. Mifflin felt sorry for him. "We've left Mr. Mifflin in charge of the shop," she said. "He's occupied with some of his old regular customers. Why don't you join us for a movie?"

"Yes, do," said Titania. "It's Mr. and Mrs. Sidney Drew, you know how adorable they are!"

"Yes, go ahead," said Titania. "It's Mr. and Mrs. Sidney Drew; you know how charming they are!"

No one needs to be told how quickly Aubrey assented. Pleasure coincided with duty in that the outer wing of the party placed him next to Titania.

No one has to be told how quickly Aubrey agreed. Pleasure met duty since the outer part of the group had him sitting next to Titania.

"Well, how do you like bookselling?" he asked.

"So, how do you feel about selling books?" he asked.

"Oh, it's the greatest fun!" she cried. "But it'll take me ever and ever so long to learn about all the books. People ask such questions! A woman came in this afternoon looking for a copy of Blase Tales. How was I to know she wanted The Blazed Trail?"

"Oh, it's so much fun!" she exclaimed. "But it's going to take me forever to learn about all the books. People ask the strangest questions! A woman came in this afternoon looking for a copy of Blase Tales. How was I supposed to know she wanted The Blazed Trail?"

"You'll get used to that," said Mrs. Mifflin. "Just a minute, people, I want to stop in at the drug store."

"You'll get used to that," Mrs. Mifflin said. "Hold on a second, everyone, I want to stop by the pharmacy."

They went into Weintraub's pharmacy. Entranced as he was by the proximity of Miss Chapman, Aubrey noticed that the druggist eyed him rather queerly. And being of a noticing habit, he also observed that when Weintraub had occasion to write out a label for a box of powdered alum Mrs. Mifflin was buying, he did so with a pale violet ink.

They went into Weintraub's pharmacy. Totally captivated by Miss Chapman being so close, Aubrey noticed that the pharmacist was looking at him strangely. Since he was someone who paid attention to details, he also saw that when Weintraub had to write a label for a box of powdered alum that Mrs. Mifflin was buying, he did it with a light purple ink.

At the glass sentry-box in front of the theatre Aubrey insisted on buying the tickets.

At the glass booth in front of the theater, Aubrey insisted on buying the tickets.

"We came out right after supper," said Titania as they entered, "so as to get in before the crowd."

"We came out right after dinner," said Titania as they entered, "so we could get in before the crowd."

It is not so easy, however, to get ahead of Brooklyn movie fans. They had to stand for several minutes in a packed lobby while a stern young man held the waiting crowd in check with a velvet rope. Aubrey sustained delightful spasms of the protective instinct in trying to shelter Titania from buffets and pushings. Unknown to her, his arm extended behind her like an iron rod to absorb the onward impulses of the eager throng. A rustling groan ran through these enthusiasts as they saw the preliminary footage of the great Tarzan flash onto the screen, and realized they were missing something. At last, however, the trio got through the barrier and found three seats well in front, at one side. From this angle the flying pictures were strangely distorted, but Aubrey did not mind.

It's not easy to outsmart Brooklyn movie fans, though. They had to wait for several minutes in a crowded lobby while a stern young man kept the line in order with a velvet rope. Aubrey felt a rush of protective instinct as he tried to shield Titania from the jostling crowd. Unbeknownst to her, his arm stretched behind her like a solid barrier to absorb the eager pushes of the throng. A rustling murmur swept through the fans as they saw the preview of the amazing Tarzan light up the screen, realizing they were missing out. Finally, the trio made it past the barrier and found three seats near the front on one side. From that angle, the images were oddly distorted, but Aubrey didn’t care.

"Isn't it lucky I got here when I did," whispered Titania. "Mr. Mifflin has just had a telephone call from Philadelphia asking him to go over on Monday to make an estimate on a library that's going to be sold so I'll be able to look after the shop for him while he's gone."

"Isn't it lucky I made it here when I did," whispered Titania. "Mr. Mifflin just got a call from Philadelphia asking him to go over on Monday to give an estimate on a library that's going to be sold, so I can take care of the shop for him while he's away."

"Is that so?" said Aubrey. "Well, now, I've got to be in Brooklyn on Monday, on business. Maybe Mrs. Mifflin would let me come in and buy some books from you."

"Is that so?" Aubrey said. "Well, I need to be in Brooklyn on Monday for work. Maybe Mrs. Mifflin would let me come in and buy some books from you."

"Customers always welcome," said Mrs. Mifflin.

"Customers are always welcome," said Mrs. Mifflin.

"I've taken a fancy to that Cromwell book," said Aubrey. "What do you suppose Mr. Mifflin would sell it for?"

"I've really taken a liking to that Cromwell book," said Aubrey. "What do you think Mr. Mifflin would charge for it?"

"I think that book must be valuable," said Titania. "Somebody came in this afternoon and wanted to buy it, but Mr. Mifflin wouldn't part with it. He says it's one of his favourites. Gracious, what a weird film this is!"

"I think that book must be valuable," said Titania. "Someone came in this afternoon and wanted to buy it, but Mr. Mifflin wouldn't sell it. He says it's one of his favorites. Wow, what a weird film this is!"

The fantastic absurdities of Tarzan proceeded on the screen, tearing celluloid passions to tatters, but Aubrey found the strong man of the jungle coming almost too close to his own imperious instincts. Was not he, too—he thought naively—a poor Tarzan of the advertising jungle, lost among the elephants and alligators of commerce, and sighing for this dainty and unattainable vision of girlhood that had burst upon his burning gaze! He stole a perilous side-glance at her profile, and saw the racing flicker of the screen reflected in tiny spangles of light that danced in her eyes. He was even so unknowing as to imagine that she was not aware of his contemplation. And then the lights went up.

The fantastic absurdities of Tarzan played out on the screen, ripping apart celluloid passions, but Aubrey felt the strong man of the jungle coming almost too close to his own dominant instincts. Wasn’t he, too—he thought naively—just a poor Tarzan of the advertising jungle, lost among the elephants and alligators of commerce and longing for that delicate and unattainable vision of girlhood that had captured his intense gaze? He took a risky glance at her profile and saw the flickering images of the screen reflected in tiny sparkles of light that danced in her eyes. He was so unaware that he believed she didn’t notice his gaze. And then the lights came up.

"What nonsense, wasn't it?" said Titania. "I'm so glad it's over! I was quite afraid one of those elephants would walk off the screen and tread on us."

"What nonsense, right?" said Titania. "I’m so glad it's over! I was really worried one of those elephants would come off the screen and step on us."

"I never can understand," said Helen, "why they don't film some of the really good books—think of Frank Stockton's stuff, how delightful that would be. Can't you imagine Mr. and Mrs. Drew playing in Rudder Grange!"

"I can never understand," said Helen, "why they don't make movies out of some of the really good books—think of Frank Stockton's works, how amazing that would be. Can't you picture Mr. and Mrs. Drew acting in Rudder Grange!"

"Thank goodness!" said Titania. "Since I entered the book business, that's the first time anybody's mentioned a book that I've read. Yes—do you remember when Pomona and Jonas visit an insane asylum on their honeymoon? Do you know, you and Mr. Mifflin remind me a little of Mr. and Mrs. Drew."

"Thank goodness!" said Titania. "Since I got into the book business, this is the first time anyone has mentioned a book I've actually read. Yes—do you remember when Pomona and Jonas visit a mental hospital on their honeymoon? You know, you and Mr. Mifflin kind of remind me of Mr. and Mrs. Drew."

Helen and Aubrey chuckled at this innocent correlation of ideas. Then the organ began to play "O How I Hate To Get Up in the Morning" and the ever-delightful Mr. and Mrs. Drew appeared on the screen in one of their domestic comedies. Lovers of the movies may well date a new screen era from the day those whimsical pantomimers set their wholesome and humane talent at the service of the arc light and the lens. Aubrey felt a serene and intimate pleasure in watching them from a seat beside Titania. He knew that the breakfast table scene shadowed before them was only a makeshift section of lath propped up in some barnlike motion picture studio; yet his rocketing fancy imagined it as some arcadian suburb where he and Titania, by a jugglery of benign fate, were bungalowed together. Young men have a pioneering imagination: it is doubtful whether any young Orlando ever found himself side by side with Rosalind without dreaming himself wedded to her. If men die a thousand deaths before this mortal coil is shuffled, even so surely do youths contract a thousand marriages before they go to the City Hall for a license.

Helen and Aubrey laughed at this innocent mix of ideas. Then the organ started playing "O How I Hate To Get Up in the Morning," and the always-entertaining Mr. and Mrs. Drew appeared on the screen in one of their family comedies. Movie lovers might well mark the beginning of a new film era from the day those quirky performers brought their wholesome and kind talents to the spotlight and camera. Aubrey felt a calm and close enjoyment watching them from a seat next to Titania. He knew that the breakfast table scene projected before them was just a temporary set of boards propped up in some barn-like film studio; yet his soaring imagination pictured it as a picturesque suburb where he and Titania, through a twist of luck, were living in a cozy bungalow together. Young men possess a pioneering imagination: it’s hard to believe any young Orlando ever found himself next to Rosalind without dreaming of marrying her. If men experience a thousand deaths before they leave this life, then surely young men dream of a thousand marriages before they head to City Hall for a license.

Aubrey remembered the opera glasses, which were still in his pocket, and brought them out. The trio amused themselves by watching Sidney Drew's face through the magnifying lenses. They were disappointed in the result, however, as the pictures, when so enlarged, revealed all the cobweb of fine cracks on the film. Mr. Drew's nose, the most amusing feature known to the movies, lost its quaintness when so augmented.

Aubrey remembered the opera glasses, which were still in his pocket, and took them out. The trio entertained themselves by observing Sidney Drew's face through the magnifying lenses. However, they were disappointed with the outcome, as the close-up images exposed all the tiny cracks in the film. Mr. Drew's nose, the funniest feature in movies, lost its charm when it was enlarged like that.

"Why," cried Titania, "it makes his lovely nose look like the map of Florida."

"Why," shouted Titania, "it makes his beautiful nose look like the map of Florida."

"How on earth did you happen to have these in your pocket?" asked Mrs. Mifflin, returning the glasses.

"How in the world did you end up with these in your pocket?" asked Mrs. Mifflin, handing back the glasses.

Aubrey was hard pressed for a prompt and reasonable fib, but advertising men are resourceful.

Aubrey was struggling to come up with a quick and convincing lie, but people in advertising are resourceful.

"Oh," he said, "I sometimes carry them with me at night to study the advertising sky-signs. I'm a little short sighted. You see, it's part of my business to study the technique of the electric signs."

"Oh," he said, "I sometimes take them with me at night to look at the advertising neon signs. I'm a bit nearsighted. You see, it's part of my job to analyze the technique of the electric signs."

After some current event pictures the programme prepared to repeat itself, and they went out. "Will you come in and have some cocoa with us?" said Helen as they reached the door of the bookshop. Aubrey was eager enough to accept, but feared to overplay his hand. "I'm sorry," he said, "but I think I'd better not. I've got some work to do to-night. Perhaps I can drop in on Monday when Mr. Mifflin's away, and put coal on the furnace for you, or something of that sort?"

After some news photos, the program got ready to repeat itself, and they left. “Would you like to come in and have some cocoa with us?” Helen asked as they reached the door of the bookstore. Aubrey was excited to say yes, but didn’t want to seem too eager. “I’m sorry,” he replied, “but I think I’d better not. I have some work to do tonight. Maybe I can stop by on Monday when Mr. Mifflin's not around and help out with the furnace or something like that?”

Mrs. Mifflin laughed. "Surely!" she said. "You're welcome any time." The door closed behind them, and Aubrey fell into a profound melancholy. Deprived of the heavenly rhetoric of her eye, Gissing Street seemed flat and dull.

Mrs. Mifflin laughed. "Of course!" she said. "You’re welcome anytime." The door closed behind them, and Aubrey sank into a deep sadness. Deprived of the heavenly sparkle in her eyes, Gissing Street felt flat and dull.

It was still early—not quite ten o'clock—and it occurred to Aubrey that if he was going to patrol the neighbourhood he had better fix its details in his head. Hazlitt, the next street below the bookshop, proved to be a quiet little byway, cheerfully lit with modest dwellings. A few paces down Hazlitt Street a narrow cobbled alley ran through to Wordsworth Avenue, passing between the back yards of Gissing Street and Whittier Street. The alley was totally dark, but by counting off the correct number of houses Aubrey identified the rear entrance of the bookshop. He tried the yard gate cautiously, and found it unlocked. Glancing in he could see a light in the kitchen window and assumed that the cocoa was being brewed. Then a window glowed upstairs, and he was thrilled to see Titania shining in the lamplight. She moved to the window and pulled down the blind. For a moment he saw her head and shoulders silhouetted against the curtain; then the light went out.

It was still early—not quite ten o'clock—and Aubrey realized that if he was going to patrol the neighborhood, he should mentally note its details. Hazlitt, the next street down from the bookshop, turned out to be a quiet little side street, brightly lit with modest homes. A short walk down Hazlitt Street led to a narrow cobbled alley that connected to Wordsworth Avenue, running between the backyards of Gissing Street and Whittier Street. The alley was completely dark, but by counting the right number of houses, Aubrey found the back entrance of the bookshop. He tried the yard gate carefully and found it unlocked. Peeking in, he saw a light in the kitchen window and assumed someone was making cocoa. Then a window lit up upstairs, and he felt a rush of excitement seeing Titania glowing in the lamplight. She moved to the window and pulled down the blind. For a moment, he saw her head and shoulders outlined against the curtain; then the light went out.

Aubrey stood briefly in sentimental thought. If he only had a couple of blankets, he mused, he could camp out here in Roger's back yard all night. Surely no harm could come to the girl while he kept watch beneath her casement! The idea was just fantastic enough to appeal to him. Then, as he stood in the open gateway, he heard distant footfalls coming down the alley, and a grumble of voices. Perhaps two policemen on their rounds, he thought: it would be awkward to be surprised skulking about back doors at this time of night. He slipped inside the gate and closed it gently behind him, taking the precaution to slip the bolt.

Aubrey paused for a moment, lost in nostalgic thoughts. If he just had a couple of blankets, he thought, he could camp out here in Roger's backyard all night. Surely nothing could happen to the girl while he kept watch under her window! The idea was just crazy enough to excite him. Then, as he stood in the open gate, he heard distant footsteps coming down the alley, along with some mumbled voices. Maybe it's two police officers on their rounds, he considered: it would be awkward to get caught lurking around back doors at this hour. He slipped inside the gate and quietly closed it behind him, taking the precaution of sliding the bolt into place.

The footsteps came nearer, stumbling down the uneven cobbles in the darkness. He stood still against the back fence. To his amazement the men halted outside Mifflin's gate, and he heard the latch quietly lifted.

The footsteps got closer, clumsily traversing the uneven cobblestones in the dark. He stayed frozen against the back fence. To his surprise, the men stopped outside Mifflin's gate, and he heard the latch being quietly lifted.

"It's no use," said a voice—"the gate is locked. We must find some other way, my friend."

"It's no use," said a voice—"the gate is locked. We need to find another way, my friend."

Aubrey tingled to hear the rolling, throaty "r" in the last word. There was no mistaking—this was the voice of his "friend and well-wisher" over the telephone.

Aubrey felt a thrill hearing the deep, gravelly "r" in the last word. There was no doubt about it—this was the voice of his "friend and supporter" on the phone.

The other said something in German in a hoarse whisper. Having studied that language in college, Aubrey caught only two words—Thur and Schlussel, which he knew meant door and key.

The other person muttered something in German with a rough whisper. Having studied that language in college, Aubrey understood just two words—Thur and Schlussel, which he knew meant door and key.

"Very well," said the first voice. "That will be all right, but we must act to-night. The damned thing must be finished to-morrow. Your idiotic stupidity—"

"Alright," said the first voice. "That will work, but we need to act tonight. This stupid thing has to be done by tomorrow. Your ridiculous cluelessness—"

Again followed some gargling in German, in a rapid undertone too fluent for Aubrey's grasp. The latch of the alley gate clicked once more, and his hand was on his revolver; but in a moment the two had passed on down the alley.

Again, there was some rapid murmuring in German, too fluid for Aubrey to understand. The latch on the alley gate clicked again, and his hand was on his gun; but soon the two had moved down the alley.

The young advertising agent stood against the fence in silent horror, his heart bumping heavily. His hands were clammy, his feet seemed to have grown larger and taken root. What damnable complot was this? A sultry wave of anger passed over him. This bland, slick, talkative bookseller, was he arranging some blackmailing scheme to kidnap the girl and wring blood-money out of her father? And in league with Germans, too, the scoundrel! What an asinine thing for old Chapman to send an unprotected girl over here into the wilds of Brooklyn … and in the meantime, what was he to do? Patrol the back yard all night? No, the friend and well-wisher had said "We must find some other way." Besides, Aubrey remembered something having been said about the old terrier sleeping in the kitchen. He felt sure Bock would not let any German in at night without raising the roof. Probably the best way would be to watch the front of the shop. In miserable perplexity he waited several minutes until the two Germans would be well out of earshot. Then he unbolted the gate and stole up the alley on tiptoe, in the opposite direction. It led into Wordsworth Avenue just behind Weintraub's drug store, over the rear of which hung the great girders and trestles of the "L" station, a kind of Swiss chalet straddling the street on stilts. He thought it prudent to make a detour, so he turned east on Wordsworth Avenue until he reached Whittier Street, then sauntered easily down Whittier for a block, spying sharply for evidences of pursuit. Brooklyn was putting out its lights for the night, and all was quiet. He turned into Hazlitt Street and so back onto Gissing, noticing now that the Haunted Bookshop lights were off. It was nearly eleven o'clock: the last audience was filing out of the movie theatre, where two workmen were already perched on ladders taking down the Tarzan electric light sign, to substitute the illuminated lettering for the next feature.

The young advertising agent stood against the fence in silent horror, his heart pounding heavily. His hands were sweaty, and his feet felt like they had grown bigger and were stuck in place. What crazy plan was this? A wave of anger washed over him. This smooth-talking, superficial bookseller—was he plotting some blackmail scheme to kidnap the girl and extort money from her father? And working with Germans, too, that jerk! What a foolish move for old Chapman to send an unprotected girl out here into the wilds of Brooklyn... and in the meantime, what was he supposed to do? Patrol the backyard all night? No, the friend and well-wisher had said, “We need to find another way.” Besides, Aubrey remembered hearing something about the old terrier sleeping in the kitchen. He was sure Bock wouldn’t let any German in at night without causing a scene. Probably the best thing to do would be to watch the front of the shop. In miserable confusion, he waited several minutes until the two Germans were far enough away. Then he unbolted the gate and sneaked up the alley on tiptoe, going in the opposite direction. It led into Wordsworth Avenue just behind Weintraub's drug store, over which loomed the big girders and trestles of the "L" station, a sort of Swiss chalet perched on stilts. He thought it wise to take a detour, so he turned east on Wordsworth Avenue until he reached Whittier Street, then casually strolled down Whittier for a block, looking carefully for any signs of being followed. Brooklyn was shutting off its lights for the night, and everything was quiet. He turned onto Hazlitt Street and back onto Gissing, noticing now that the Haunted Bookshop lights were off. It was nearly eleven o'clock: the last audience was leaving the movie theater, where two workers were already on ladders taking down the Tarzan electric sign to replace it with the illuminated lettering for the next feature.

After some debate he decided that the best thing to do was to return to his room at Mrs. Schiller's, from which he could keep a sharp watch on the front door of the bookshop. By good fortune there was a lamp post almost directly in front of Mifflin's house, which cast plenty of light on the little sunken area before the door. With his opera glasses he could see from his bedroom whatever went on. As he crossed the street he cast his eyes upward at the facade of Mrs. Schiller's house. Two windows in the fourth storey were lit, and the gas burned minutely in the downstairs hall, elsewhere all was dark. And then, as he glanced at the window of his own chamber, where the curtain was still tucked back behind the pane, he noticed a curious thing. A small point of rosy light glowed, faded, and glowed again by the window. Someone was smoking a cigar in his room.

After some discussion, he decided that the best option was to head back to his room at Mrs. Schiller's, where he could keep a close eye on the front door of the bookshop. Fortunately, there was a lamppost almost directly in front of Mifflin's house that provided plenty of light in the small sunken area by the door. With his opera glasses, he could see everything happening from his bedroom. As he crossed the street, he looked up at the facade of Mrs. Schiller's house. Two windows on the fourth floor were lit, and there was a faint glow from the gas in the downstairs hall; everywhere else was dark. Then, as he glanced at the window of his own room, where the curtain was still pulled back, he noticed something unusual. A small point of rosy light blinked on and off by the window. Someone was smoking a cigar in his room.

Aubrey continued walking in even stride, as though he had seen nothing. Returning down the street, on the opposite side, he verified his first glance. The light was still there, and he judged himself not far out in assuming the smoker to be the friend and well-wisher or one of his gang. He had suspected the other man in the alley of being Weintraub, but he could not be sure. A cautious glance through the window of the drug store revealed Weintraub at his prescription counter. Aubrey determined to get even with the guttural gentleman who was waiting for him, certainly with no affectionate intent. He thanked the good fortune that had led him to stick the book cover in his overcoat pocket when leaving Mrs. Schiller's. Evidently, for reasons unknown, someone was very anxious to get hold of it.

Aubrey kept walking at a steady pace, acting like he hadn’t seen a thing. As he retraced his steps on the other side of the street, he confirmed what he first noticed. The light was still there, and he felt justified in thinking the person smoking was a friend or someone from his crew. He had a hunch that the other guy in the alley was Weintraub, but he couldn’t be certain. A quick look through the window of the drugstore showed Weintraub at the prescription counter. Aubrey decided he needed to get back at the rough-looking man who was waiting for him, clearly not with friendly intentions. He was grateful for the luck that had made him tuck the book cover into his overcoat pocket when he left Mrs. Schiller's. For reasons he didn't understand, someone was clearly very eager to get their hands on it.

An idea occurred to him as he passed the little florist's shop, which was just closing. He entered and bought a dozen white carnations, and then, as if by an afterthought, asked "Have you any wire?"

An idea popped into his head as he walked by the small flower shop, which was just closing. He went inside and bought a dozen white carnations, and then, almost as an afterthought, asked, "Do you have any wire?"

The florist produced a spool of the slender, tough wire that is sometimes used to nip the buds of expensive roses, to prevent them from blossoming too quickly.

The florist brought out a spool of the thin, strong wire that's sometimes used to pinch the buds of pricey roses, to stop them from blooming too fast.

"Let me have about eight feet," said Aubrey. "I need some to-night and I guess the hardware stores are all closed."

"Can I get about eight feet?" Aubrey asked. "I need some for tonight, and I think all the hardware stores are closed."

With this he returned to Mrs. Schiller's, picking his way carefully and close to the houses so as to be out of sight from the upstairs windows. He climbed the steps and unlatched the door with bated breath. It was half-past eleven, and he wondered how long he would have to wait for the well-wisher to descend.

With that, he headed back to Mrs. Schiller's, navigating carefully and staying close to the buildings to avoid being seen from the upstairs windows. He climbed the steps and quietly unlatched the door, holding his breath. It was half-past eleven, and he wondered how long he'd have to wait for the good Samaritan to come down.

He could not help chuckling as he made his preparations, remembering an occasion at college somewhat similar in setting though far less serious in purpose. First he took off his shoes, laying them carefully to one side where he could find them again in a hurry. Then, choosing a banister about six feet from the bottom of the stairs he attached one end of the wire tightly to its base and spread the slack in a large loop over two of the stair treads. The remaining end of the wire he passed out through the banisters, twisting it into a small loop so that he could pull it easily. Then he turned out the hall gas and sat down in the dark to wait events.

He couldn’t help but chuckle as he got ready, remembering a time in college that was kind of similar in setting but much less serious in purpose. First, he took off his shoes and placed them carefully to one side where he could quickly find them again. Then, choosing a banister about six feet from the bottom of the stairs, he secured one end of the wire tightly to its base and spread the slack into a large loop over two of the stair treads. He passed the other end of the wire through the banisters, twisting it into a small loop so he could easily pull it. After that, he turned off the hall gas and sat down in the dark to wait for things to unfold.

He sat for a long time, in some nervousness lest the pug dog might come prowling and find him. He was startled by a lady in a dressing gown—perhaps Mrs. J. F. Smith—who emerged from a ground-floor room passed very close to him in the dark, and muttered upstairs. He twitched his noose out of the way just in time. Presently, however, his patience was rewarded. He heard a door squeak above, and then the groaning of the staircase as someone descended slowly. He relaid his trap and waited, smiling to himself. A clock somewhere in the house was chiming twelve as the man came groping down the last flight, feeling his way in the dark. Aubrey heard him swearing under his breath.

He sat there for a long time, feeling a bit nervous that the pug dog might come around and find him. He was caught off guard by a woman in a bathrobe—maybe Mrs. J. F. Smith—who came out of a ground-floor room, walked really close to him in the dark, and muttered something as she went upstairs. He managed to pull his noose out of the way just in time. Eventually, though, his patience paid off. He heard a door creak above, followed by the stairs creaking as someone carefully came down. He set his trap again and waited, smiling to himself. A clock somewhere in the house chimed twelve as the man stumbled down the last flight, feeling his way in the dark. Aubrey heard him cursing quietly.

At the precise moment, when both his victim's feet were within the loop, Aubrey gave the wire a gigantic tug. The man fell like a safe, crashing against the banisters and landing in a sprawl on the floor. It was a terrific fall, and shook the house. He lay there groaning and cursing.

At that exact moment, when both of his victim's feet were inside the loop, Aubrey yanked the wire hard. The man dropped like a heavy object, slamming into the banisters and collapsing on the floor. It was a huge fall that rattled the house. He lay there, groaning and swearing.

Barely retaining his laughter, Aubrey struck a match and held it over the sprawling figure. The man lay with his face twisted against one out-spread arm, but the beard was unmistakable. It was the assistant chef again, and he seemed partly unconscious. "Burnt hair is a grand restorative," said Aubrey to himself, and applied the match to the bush of beard. He singed off a couple of inches of it with intense delight, and laid his carnations on the head of the stricken one. Then, hearing stirrings in the basement, he gathered up his wire and shoes and fled upstairs. He gained his room roaring with inward mirth, but entered cautiously, fearing some trap. Save for a strong tincture of cigar smoke, everything seemed correct. Listening at his door he heard Mrs. Schiller exclaiming shrilly in the hall, assisted by yappings from the pug. Doors upstairs were opened, and questions were called out. He heard guttural groans from the bearded one, mingled with oaths and some angry remark about having fallen downstairs. The pug, frenzied with excitement, yelled insanely. A female voice—possibly Mrs. J. F. Smith—cried out "What's that smell of burning?" Someone else said, "They're burning feathers under his nose to bring him to."

Barely containing his laughter, Aubrey struck a match and held it over the sprawled figure. The man lay with his face pressed against one outstretched arm, but the beard was unmistakable. It was the assistant chef again, and he looked partly unconscious. "Burnt hair is a great wake-up call," Aubrey said to himself, and he lit the match and brought it to the bushy beard. He singed off a couple of inches with intense delight and placed his flowers on the head of the unfortunate man. Then, hearing some movement in the basement, he quickly grabbed his wire and shoes and rushed upstairs. He entered his room, bursting with laughter inside, but came in cautiously, worried about some trap. Besides a strong smell of cigar smoke, everything appeared normal. Listening at his door, he heard Mrs. Schiller shouting in the hall, assisted by the yapping of the pug. Doors upstairs were opening, and questions were called out. He heard guttural groans from the bearded man, mixed with curses and some angry comments about falling downstairs. The pug, frenzied with excitement, barked wildly. A female voice—maybe Mrs. J. F. Smith—called out, "What's that smell of burning?" Someone else said, "They're burning feathers under his nose to wake him up."

"Yes, Hun's feathers," chuckled Aubrey to himself. He locked his door, and sat down by the window with his opera glasses.

"Yeah, Hun's feathers," Aubrey chuckled to himself. He locked his door and sat down by the window with his binoculars.




Chapter IX

Again the Narrative is Retarded

Roger had spent a quiet evening in the bookshop. Sitting at his desk under a fog of tobacco, he had honestly intended to do some writing on the twelfth chapter of his great work on bookselling. This chapter was to be an (alas, entirely conjectural) "Address Delivered by a Bookseller on Being Conferred the Honorary Degree of Doctor of Letters by a Leading University," and it presented so many alluring possibilities that Roger's mind always wandered from the paper into entranced visions of his imagined scene. He loved to build up in fancy the flattering details of that fine ceremony when bookselling would at last be properly recognized as one of the learned professions. He could see the great auditorium, filled with cultivated people: men with Emersonian profiles, ladies whispering behind their fluttering programmes. He could see the academic beadle, proctor, dean (or whatever he is, Roger was a little doubtful) pronouncing the august words of presentation—

Roger had spent a quiet evening in the bookstore. Sitting at his desk, surrounded by a cloud of tobacco smoke, he had genuinely planned to write the twelfth chapter of his major work on bookselling. This chapter was meant to be an (sadly, completely imaginary) "Address Delivered by a Bookseller on Receiving the Honorary Degree of Doctor of Letters from a Leading University," and it had so many tempting possibilities that Roger's thoughts always drifted from the page into captivating visions of his imagined scene. He loved to elaborate in his mind the flattering details of that grand ceremony when bookselling would finally be recognized as a respected profession. He could picture the grand auditorium, filled with sophisticated people: men with classic profiles and women whispering behind their fluttering programs. He could see the academic official, proctor, dean (or whatever he is; Roger was a bit uncertain) delivering the esteemed words of presentation—


A man who, in season and out of season, forgetting private gain for public weal, has laboured with Promethean and sacrificial ardour to instil the love of reasonable letters into countless thousands; to whom, and to whose colleagues, amid the perishable caducity of human affairs, is largely due the pullulation of literary taste; in honouring whom we seek to honour the noble and self-effacing profession of which he is so representative a member——

A man who, consistently and without fail, puts aside personal gain for the greater good, has worked tirelessly with a passionate commitment to inspire countless people to appreciate the value of education; to him, and to his colleagues, we owe much of the growth in literary appreciation amid the temporary nature of human endeavors; in honoring him, we aim to honor the noble and humble profession he so perfectly represents——


Then he could see the modest bookseller, somewhat clammy in his extremities and lost within his academic robe and hood, nervously fidgeting his mortar-board, haled forward by ushers, and tottering rubescent before the chancellor, provost, president (or whoever it might be) who hands out the diploma. Then (in Roger's vision) he could see the garlanded bibliopole turning to the expectant audience, giving his trailing gown a deft rearward kick as the ladies do on the stage, and uttering, without hesitation or embarrassment, with due interpolation of graceful pleasantry, that learned and unlaboured discourse on the delights of bookishness that he had often dreamed of. Then he could see the ensuing reception: the distinguished savants crowding round; the plates of macaroons, the cups of untasted tea; the ladies twittering, "Now there's something I want to ask you—why are there so many statues to generals, admirals, parsons, doctors, statesmen, scientists, artists, and authors, but no statues to booksellers?"

Then he could see the modest bookseller, a bit clammy in his hands and lost in his academic robe and hood, nervously fidgeting with his mortarboard, being led forward by ushers and wobbling red-faced in front of the chancellor, provost, president (or whoever it might be) who was handing out the diploma. Then (in Roger's vision), he could see the garlanded bookseller turning to the expectant audience, giving his trailing gown a quick kick like the ladies do on stage, and confidently without hesitation or embarrassment, with just the right touch of charm, delivering that learned and effortless talk on the joys of being bookish that he had often daydreamed about. Then he could see the reception that followed: the esteemed scholars crowding around; the plates of macaroons, the cups of untouched tea; the ladies chattering, “Now there’s something I want to ask you—why are there so many statues of generals, admirals, priests, doctors, statesmen, scientists, artists, and authors, but no statues of booksellers?”

Contemplation of this glittering scene always lured Roger into fantastic dreams. Ever since he had travelled country roads, some years before, selling books from a van drawn by a fat white horse, he had nourished a secret hope of some day founding a Parnassus on Wheels Corporation which would own a fleet of these vans and send them out into the rural byways where bookstores are unknown. He loved to imagine a great map of New York State, with the daily location of each travelling Parnassus marked by a coloured pin. He dreamed of himself, sitting in some vast central warehouse of second-hand books, poring over his map like a military chief of staff and forwarding cases of literary ammunition to various bases where his vans would re-stock. His idea was that his travelling salesmen could be recruited largely from college professors, parsons, and newspaper men, who were weary of their thankless tasks, and would welcome an opportunity to get out on the road. One of his hopes was that he might interest Mr. Chapman in this superb scheme, and he had a vision of the day when the shares of the Parnassus on Wheels Corporation would pay a handsome dividend and be much sought after by serious investors.

Contemplating this dazzling scene always drew Roger into imaginative dreams. Ever since he traveled country roads a few years ago, selling books from a van pulled by a plump white horse, he had nurtured a secret wish to someday establish a Parnassus on Wheels Corporation that would own a fleet of these vans and send them out into rural areas where bookstores were nonexistent. He loved to picture a large map of New York State, with the daily location of each traveling Parnassus marked by a colored pin. He envisioned himself sitting in a huge central warehouse filled with second-hand books, studying his map like a military chief of staff and sending out shipments of literary goods to various locations where his vans would restock. His idea was that he could mostly recruit traveling salespeople from college professors, clergymen, and journalists, who were tired of their unappreciated jobs and would welcome a chance to hit the road. One of his hopes was to pique Mr. Chapman’s interest in this fantastic scheme, and he imagined the day when the shares of the Parnassus on Wheels Corporation would pay out a substantial dividend and be highly sought after by serious investors.

These thoughts turned his mind toward his brother-in-law Andrew McGill, the author of several engaging books on the joys of country living, who dwells at the Sabine Farm in the green elbow of a Connecticut valley. The original Parnassus, a quaint old blue wagon in which Roger had lived and journeyed and sold books over several thousand miles of country roads in the days before his marriage, was now housed in Andrew's barn. Peg, his fat white horse, had lodging there also. It occurred to Roger that he owed Andrew a letter, and putting aside his notes for the bookseller's collegiate oration, he began to write:

These thoughts led him to think of his brother-in-law Andrew McGill, the author of several captivating books about the pleasures of country life, who lives at the Sabine Farm in a lush corner of a Connecticut valley. The original Parnassus, a charming old blue wagon in which Roger had lived, traveled, and sold books for thousands of miles on country roads before he got married, was now stored in Andrew's barn. Peg, his plump white horse, was also kept there. Roger realized he owed Andrew a letter, and setting aside his notes for the bookseller's speech, he started to write:


THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP
163 Gissing Street, Brooklyn,
November 30, 1918.

THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP
163 Gissing Street, Brooklyn,
November 30, 1918.

MY DEAR ANDREW:

DEAR ANDREW:

It is scandalous not to have thanked you sooner for the annual cask of cider, which has given us even more than the customary pleasure. This has been an autumn when I have been hard put to it to keep up with my own thoughts, and I've written no letters at all. Like everyone else I am thinking constantly of this new peace that has marvellously come upon us. I trust we may have statesmen who will be able to turn it to the benefit of humanity. I wish there could be an international peace conference of booksellers, for (you will smile at this) my own conviction is that the future happiness of the world depends in no small measure on them and on the librarians. I wonder what a German bookseller is like?

It’s outrageous that I haven’t thanked you sooner for the annual cask of cider, which has brought us even more joy than usual. This autumn has been so hectic that I haven’t had time to gather my own thoughts, and I haven’t written any letters at all. Like everyone else, I’m constantly thinking about this new peace that has magically come upon us. I hope we’ll have statesmen who can make it beneficial for humanity. I wish there could be an international peace conference for booksellers, because (you’ll probably laugh at this) I genuinely believe that the future happiness of the world relies significantly on them and on librarians. I wonder what a German bookseller is like?

I've been reading The Education of Henry Adams and wish he might have lived long enough to give us his thoughts on the War. I fear it would have bowled him over. He thought that this is not a world "that sensitive and timid natures can regard without a shudder." What would he have said of the four-year shambles we have watched with sickened hearts?

I've been reading The Education of Henry Adams and wish he could have lived long enough to share his thoughts on the War. I’m afraid it would have overwhelmed him. He believed that this is not a world "that sensitive and timid natures can regard without a shudder." What would he have said about the four years of chaos we've watched with sickened hearts?

You remember my favourite poem—old George Herbert's Church Porch—where he says—

You remember my favorite poem—old George Herbert's Church Porch—where he says—


By all means use sometimes to be alone;
Salute thyself; see what thy soul doth wear;
Dare to look in thy chest, for 'tis thine own,
And tumble up and down what thou find'st there—

By all means, take time to be alone;
Greet yourself; see what your soul carries;
Have the courage to look inside yourself, because it's yours,
And sort through what you find there—


Well, I've been tumbling my thoughts up and down a good deal. Melancholy, I suppose, is the curse of the thinking classes; but I confess my soul wears a great uneasiness these days! The sudden and amazing turnover in human affairs, dramatic beyond anything in history, already seems to be taken as a matter of course. My great fear is that humanity will forget the atrocious sufferings of the war, which have never been told. I am hoping and praying that men like Philip Gibbs may tell us what they really saw.

Well, I've been tossing my thoughts around quite a bit. I guess melancholy is just part of being a deep thinker; but honestly, my spirit feels really uneasy these days! The sudden and incredible changes in the world, more dramatic than anything we've seen in history, already seem to be accepted as normal. My biggest fear is that people will forget the terrible suffering of the war, which has never truly been expressed. I hope and pray that people like Philip Gibbs will share what they actually witnessed.

You will not agree with me on what I am about to say, for I know you as a stubborn Republican; but I thank fortune that Wilson is going to the Peace Conference. I've been mulling over one of my favourite books—it lies beside me as I write—Cromwell's Letters and Speeches, edited by Carlyle, with what Carlyle amusingly calls "Elucidations." (Carlyle is not very good at "elucidating" anything!) I have heard somewhere or other that this is one of Wilson's favourite books, and indeed, there is much of the Cromwell in him. With what a grim, covenanting zeal he took up the sword when at last it was forced into his hand! And I have been thinking that what he will say to the Peace Conference will smack strongly of what old Oliver used to say to Parliament in 1657 and 1658—"If we will have Peace without a worm in it, lay we foundations of Justice and Righteousness." What makes Wilson so irritating to the unthoughtful is that he operates exclusively upon reason, not upon passion. He contradicts Kipling's famous lines, which apply to most men—

You probably won’t agree with me about what I’m about to say since I know you’re a stubborn Republican. However, I’m grateful that Wilson is going to the Peace Conference. I’ve been thinking about one of my favorite books—it’s right next to me as I write—Cromwell's Letters and Speeches, edited by Carlyle, with what Carlyle humorously refers to as "Elucidations." (Carlyle isn’t very good at "elucidating" anything!) I’ve heard that this is one of Wilson's favorite books, and honestly, there’s a lot of Cromwell in him. With what grim determination he took up the sword when it was finally forced into his hand! I’ve been reflecting that what he’ll say at the Peace Conference will strongly resemble what old Oliver said to Parliament in 1657 and 1658—"If we want Peace without a flaw, let’s build a foundation of Justice and Righteousness." What makes Wilson so annoying to those who don’t think deeply is that he relies entirely on reason, not on passion. He contradicts Kipling's famous lines, which apply to most people—


Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Very rarely will he directly take the logic of a fact
To its ultimate conclusion in a straightforward action.

In this instance, I think, Reason is going to win. I feel the whole current of the world setting in that direction.

In this case, I believe reason is going to prevail. I sense that the entire direction of the world is moving that way.

It's quaint to think of old Woodrow, a kind of Cromwell-Wordsworth, going over to do his bit among the diplomatic shell-craters. What I'm waiting for is the day when he'll get back into private life and write a book about it. There's a job, if you like, for a man who might reasonably be supposed to be pretty tired in body and soul! When that book comes out I'll spend the rest of my life in selling it. I ask nothing better! Speaking of Wordsworth, I've often wondered whether Woodrow hasn't got some poems concealed somewhere among his papers! I've always imagined that he may have written poems on the sly. And by the way, you needn't make fun of me for being so devoted to George Herbert. Do you realize that two of the most familiar quotations in our language come from his pen, viz.:

It's charming to think of old Woodrow, a mix of Cromwell and Wordsworth, going to do his part among the diplomatic chaos. What I'm really looking forward to is the day he returns to private life and writes a book about it. That would be quite the task for someone who must be pretty worn out, both physically and mentally! When that book is published, I'll spend the rest of my life promoting it. I can't think of anything better! Speaking of Wordsworth, I've often wondered if Woodrow has some poems hidden among his papers! I've always pictured him writing poems on the down-low. And by the way, don't tease me for being so devoted to George Herbert. Did you know that two of the most well-known quotations in our language come from him, namely:

Wouldst thou both eat thy cake, and have it?

Would you like to eat your cake and still have it?

and

and

Dare to be true: nothing can need a ly;
A fault, which needs it most, grows two thereby.

Dare to be honest: nothing needs a lie;
A fault that needs it the most only gets worse.


Forgive this tedious sermon! My mind has been so tumbled up and down this autumn that I am in a queer state of mingled melancholy and exaltation. You know how much I live in and for books. Well, I have a curious feeling, a kind of premonition that there are great books coming out of this welter of human hopes and anguishes, perhaps A book in which the tempest-shaken soul of the race will speak out as it never has before. The Bible, you know, is rather a disappointment: it has never done for humanity what it should have done. I wonder why? Walt Whitman is going to do a great deal, but he is not quite what I mean. There is something coming—I don't know just what! I thank God I am a bookseller, trafficking in the dreams and beauties and curiosities of humanity rather than some mere huckster of merchandise. But how helpless we all are when we try to tell what goes on within us! I found this in one of Lafcadio Hearn's letters the other day—I marked the passage for you

Forgive this boring speech! My mind has been so scattered this autumn that I'm in a strange mix of sadness and excitement. You know how much I live for books. Well, I have this odd feeling, a sort of intuition that there are amazing books coming out of this chaos of human hopes and struggles, maybe a book where the storm-tossed soul of humanity will express itself like never before. The Bible, you know, is a bit of a letdown: it hasn’t done for humanity what it really should have. I wonder why? Walt Whitman is going to accomplish a lot, but he’s not exactly what I mean. Something's on the way—I can't quite figure out what! I’m grateful to be a bookseller, dealing in the dreams, wonders, and quirks of humanity rather than just selling stuff. But how powerless we all are when we try to express what’s going on inside us! I found this in one of Lafcadio Hearn's letters recently—I marked the part for you.


Baudelaire has a touching poem about an albatross, which you would like—describing the poet's soul superb in its own free azure—but helpless, insulted, ugly, clumsy when striving to walk on common earth—or rather, on a deck, where sailors torment it with tobacco pipes, etc.

Baudelaire has a poignant poem about an albatross that you would appreciate. It describes the poet's soul as magnificent in its own free sky blue, yet helpless, mistreated, ugly, and awkward when trying to walk on ordinary ground—or more specifically, on a ship's deck, where sailors tease it with tobacco pipes and so on.


You can imagine what evenings I have here among my shelves, now the long dark nights are come! Of course until ten o'clock, when I shut up shop, I am constantly interrupted—as I have been during this letter, once to sell a copy of Helen's Babies and once to sell The Ballad of Reading Gaol, so you can see how varied are my clients' tastes! But later on, after we have had our evening cocoa and Helen has gone to bed, I prowl about the place, dipping into this and that, fuddling myself with speculation. How clear and bright the stream of the mind flows in those late hours, after all the sediment and floating trash of the day has drained off! Sometimes I seem to coast the very shore of Beauty or Truth, and hear the surf breaking on those shining sands. Then some offshore wind of weariness or prejudice bears me away again. Have you ever come across Andreyev's Confessions of a Little Man During Great Days? One of the honest books of the War. The Little Man ends his confession thus—

You can imagine the evenings I spend here among my bookshelves now that the long dark nights have arrived! Of course, until ten o'clock, when I close up shop, I'm constantly interrupted—as I have been while writing this letter, once to sell a copy of Helen's Babies and once for The Ballad of Reading Gaol, so you can see how diverse my clients' tastes are! But later, after we’ve had our evening cocoa and Helen has gone to bed, I wander around, browsing through this and that, filling my mind with thoughts. How clear and vibrant the stream of consciousness flows during those late hours after all the clutter and distractions of the day have settled! Sometimes I feel like I’m skimming the very edge of Beauty or Truth, listening to the waves crash on those shimmering sands. Then some distant wind of tiredness or bias sweeps me away again. Have you ever read Andreyev's Confessions of a Little Man During Great Days? It's one of the sincere books from the War. The Little Man ends his confession like this—


My anger has left me, my sadness returned, and once more the tears flow. Whom can I curse, whom can I judge, when we are all alike unfortunate? Suffering is universal; hands are outstretched to each other, and when they touch … the great solution will come. My heart is aglow, and I stretch out my hand and cry, "Come, let us join hands! I love you, I love you!"

My anger has faded, my sadness is back, and once again the tears are flowing. Who can I blame, who can I judge, when we all share this misfortune? Suffering is something we all experience; our hands reach out to one another, and when they connect… the big solution will arrive. My heart is full of warmth, and I reach out my hand and say, "Come, let’s hold hands! I love you, I love you!"

And of course, as soon as one puts one's self in that frame of mind someone comes along and picks your pocket.… I suppose we must teach ourselves to be too proud to mind having our pockets picked!

And of course, as soon as you get into that mindset, someone shows up and robs you... I guess we have to train ourselves to be too proud to care about getting robbed!

Did it ever occur to you that the world is really governed by BOOKS? The course of this country in the War, for instance, has been largely determined by the books Wilson has read since he first began to think! If we could have a list of the principal books he has read since the War began, how interesting it would be.

Did it ever cross your mind that the world is actually ruled by BOOKS? The direction of this country in the War, for example, has been heavily influenced by the books Wilson has read since he started to think! If we could get a list of the main books he’s read since the War started, it would be fascinating.

Here's something I'm just copying out to put up on my bulletin board for my customers to ponder. It was written by Charles Sorley, a young Englishman who was killed in France in 1915. He was only twenty years old—

Here's something I'm just copying out to put up on my bulletin board for my customers to think about. It was written by Charles Sorley, a young Englishman who was killed in France in 1915. He was only twenty years old—


TO GERMANY

TO GERMANY


You are blind like us. Your hurt no man designed,
And no man claimed the conquest of your land.
But gropers both through fields of thought confined
We stumble and we do not understand.
You only saw your future bigly planned,
And we, the tapering paths of our own mind,
And in each other's dearest ways we stand,
And hiss and hate. And the blind fight the blind.

You’re blind just like us. Your pain wasn’t caused by anyone,
And no one took control of your land.
But we're all struggling through limited thoughts,
We fumble around and can’t figure it out.
You only envisioned your future on a grand scale,
While we navigate the narrowing paths of our own minds,
And in our closest relationships, we’re stuck,
Hissing and hating. And the blind clash with the blind.

When it is peace, then we may view again
With new-won eyes each other's truer form
And wonder. Grown more loving-kind and warm
We'll grasp firm hands and laugh at the old pain,
When it is peace. But until peace, the storm
The darkness and the thunder and the rain.

When there’s peace, we can look at each other
With fresh eyes and see the real us
And be amazed. With a deeper love and warmth,
We’ll hold hands tightly and laugh at past hurts,
When there’s peace. But until then, it’s the storm,
The darkness, the thunder, and the rain.


Isn't that noble? You see what I am dumbly groping for—some way of thinking about the War that will make it seem (to future ages) a purification for humanity rather than a mere blackness of stinking cinders and tortured flesh and men shot to ribbons in marshes of blood and sewage. Out of such unspeakable desolation men MUST rise to some new conception of national neighbourhood. I hear so much apprehension that Germany won't be punished sufficiently for her crime. But how can any punishment be devised or imposed for such a huge panorama of sorrow? I think she has already punished herself horribly, and will continue to do so. My prayer is that what we have gone through will startle the world into some new realization of the sanctity of life—all life, animal as well as human. Don't you find that a visit to a zoo can humble and astound you with all that amazing and grotesque variety of living energy?

Isn't that noble? You can see what I'm clumsily reaching for—some way to think about the War that will make it appear (to future generations) as a cleansing experience for humanity instead of just a horrific scene of charred remains, suffering, and men shot to pieces in rivers of blood and waste. From such unimaginable devastation, humanity MUST emerge with a new understanding of national community. I hear so much worry that Germany won’t be punished enough for its crimes. But how can we even create or carry out punishment for such a vast landscape of grief? I believe Germany has already inflicted terrible punishment on itself, and it will continue to do so. My hope is that what we’ve endured will shock the world into a new appreciation for the sanctity of life—all life, animal and human alike. Don’t you think a visit to a zoo can both humble and amaze you with all that incredible and bizarre variety of living energy?

What is it that we find in every form of life? Desire of some sort—some unexplained motive power that impels even the smallest insect on its queer travels. You must have watched some infinitesimal red spider on a fence rail, bustling along—why and whither? Who knows? And when you come to man, what a chaos of hungers and impulses keep thrusting him through his cycle of quaint tasks! And in every human heart you find some sorrow, some frustration, some lurking pang. I often think of Lafcadio Hearn's story of his Japanese cook. Hearn was talking of the Japanese habit of not showing their emotions on their faces. His cook was a smiling, healthy, agreeable-looking young fellow whose face was always cheerful. Then one day, by chance, Hearn happened to look through a hole in the wall and saw his cook alone. His face was not the same face. It was thin and drawn and showed strange lines worn by old hardships or sufferings. Hearn thought to himself, "He will look just like that when he is dead." He went into the kitchen to see him, and instantly the cook was all changed, young and happy again. Never again did Hearn see that face of trouble; but he knew the man wore it when he was alone.

What do we see in every form of life? A kind of desire—some mysterious force that pushes even the tiniest insect on its unusual journeys. You must have seen a tiny red spider on a fence rail, scurrying along—why and where to? Who knows? And when it comes to humans, what a mix of cravings and urges drives us through our odd routines! And in every human heart, there's some sorrow, some frustration, some hidden ache. I often think of Lafcadio Hearn's story about his Japanese cook. Hearn was discussing the Japanese custom of keeping their emotions off their faces. His cook was a cheerful, healthy-looking young man whose face was always bright. Then one day, by chance, Hearn looked through a hole in the wall and saw his cook alone. His face was completely different. It was thin and drawn, showing strange lines formed by past hardships or sufferings. Hearn thought to himself, "He'll look just like that when he's dead." He went into the kitchen to see him, and immediately the cook transformed back to being young and happy. Hearn never saw that troubled face again; but he knew the man wore it when he was by himself.

Don't you think there is a kind of parable there for the race as a whole? Have you ever met a man without wondering what shining sorrows he hides from the world, what contrast between vision and accomplishment torments him? Behind every smiling mask is there not some cryptic grimace of pain? Henry Adams puts it tersely. He says the human mind appears suddenly and inexplicably out of some unknown and unimaginable void. It passes half its known life in the mental chaos of sleep. Even when awake it is a victim of its own ill-adjustment, of disease, of age, of external suggestion, of nature's compulsions; it doubts its own sensations and trusts only in instruments and averages. After sixty years or so of growing astonishment the mind wakes to find itself looking blankly into the void of death. And, as Adams says, that it should profess itself pleased by this performance is all that the highest rules of good breeding can ask. That the mind should actually be satisfied would prove that it exists only as idiocy!

Don't you think there's a kind of lesson there for humanity as a whole? Have you ever met someone without wondering what deep sorrows they hide from the world, what differences between their dreams and achievements haunt them? Behind every cheerful facade, isn’t there some hidden pain? Henry Adams sums it up succinctly. He says the human mind appears suddenly and inexplicably out of some unknown and unimaginable emptiness. It spends half of its known life in the mental chaos of sleep. Even when awake, it's a victim of its own misalignment, of illness, of aging, of outside influences, of nature’s pressures; it questions its own feelings and relies only on tools and statistics. After around sixty years of growing astonishment, the mind awakens to find itself staring blankly into the emptiness of death. And, as Adams points out, that it should pretend to be content with this situation is all that the highest standards of good manners can demand. That the mind should actually be satisfied would mean it exists only in stupidity!

I hope that you will write to tell me along what curves your mind is moving. For my own part I feel that we are on the verge of amazing things. Long ago I fell back on books as the only permanent consolers. They are the one stainless and unimpeachable achievement of the human race. It saddens me to think that I shall have to die with thousands of books unread that would have given me noble and unblemished happiness. I will tell you a secret. I have never read King Lear, and have purposely refrained from doing so. If I were ever very ill I would only need to say to myself "You can't die yet, you haven't read Lear." That would bring me round, I know it would.

I hope you'll write to share what ideas you're exploring. As for me, I feel like we're on the brink of incredible things. A long time ago, I turned to books as my only lasting comfort. They are the one pure and undeniable achievement of humanity. It makes me sad to think that I'll die with thousands of unread books that could have brought me true and untainted joy. I'll let you in on a secret: I've never read King Lear, and I've deliberately avoided it. If I were ever really sick, all I would need to tell myself is, "You can't die yet, you haven't read Lear." That would pull me through, I just know it.

You see, books are the answer to all our perplexities! Henry Adams grinds his teeth at his inability to understand the universe. The best he can do is to suggest a "law of acceleration," which seems to mean that Nature is hustling man along at an ever-increasing rate so that he will either solve all her problems or else die of fever in the effort. But Adams' candid portrait of a mind grappling helplessly with its riddles is so triumphantly delightful that one forgets the futility of the struggle in the accuracy of the picture. Man is unconquerable because he can make even his helplessness so entertaining. His motto seems to be "Even though He slay me, yet will I make fun of Him!"

You see, books are the solution to all our confusions! Henry Adams grinds his teeth at his inability to understand the universe. The best he can do is propose a "law of acceleration," which seems to suggest that Nature is pushing humanity along at an ever-increasing pace so that we either solve all her problems or die trying. But Adams' honest portrayal of a mind struggling helplessly with its puzzles is so wonderfully entertaining that you forget the futility of the struggle in the accuracy of the picture. Humans are unbeatable because we can make even our helplessness so engaging. His motto seems to be, "Even if He slays me, I’ll still make fun of Him!"

Yes, books are man's supreme triumph, for they gather up and transmit all other triumphs. As Walter de la Mare writes, "How uncomprehendingly must an angel from heaven smile on a poor human sitting engrossed in a romance: angled upon his hams, motionless in his chair, spectacles on nose, his two feet as close together as the flukes of a merman's tail, only his strange eyes stirring in his time-worn face."

Yes, books are humanity's greatest achievement because they collect and share all other achievements. As Walter de la Mare writes, "How uncomprehendingly must an angel from heaven smile on a poor human sitting engrossed in a romance: leaning on his knees, motionless in his chair, glasses on his nose, his two feet close together like the flukes of a merman's tail, only his strange eyes moving in his time-worn face."

Well, I've been scribbling away all this time and haven't given you any news whatever. Helen came back the other day from a visit to Boston where she enjoyed herself greatly. To-night she has gone out to the movies with a young protegee of ours, Miss Titania Chapman, an engaging damsel whom we have taken in as an apprentice bookseller. It's a quaint idea, done at the request of her father, Mr. Chapman, the proprietor of Chapman's Daintybits which you see advertised everywhere. He is a great booklover, and is very eager to have the zeal transmitted to his daughter. So you can imagine my glee to have a neophyte of my own to preach books at! Also it will enable me to get away from the shop a little more. I had a telephone call from Philadelphia this afternoon asking me to go over there on Monday evening to make an estimate of the value of a private collection that is to be sold. I was rather flattered because I can't imagine how they got hold of my name.

Well, I've been writing away this whole time and haven't given you any updates at all. Helen came back the other day from a trip to Boston, where she had a great time. Tonight, she went out to the movies with a young protégé of ours, Miss Titania Chapman, a charming girl we've taken on as an apprentice bookseller. It’s a quirky idea, done at the request of her father, Mr. Chapman, who owns Chapman's Daintybits, which you see advertised everywhere. He's a big book lover and is really eager to pass that passion on to his daughter. So you can imagine my excitement to have a newbie of my own to talk about books with! Plus, it means I can take a little break from the shop. I received a phone call from Philadelphia this afternoon asking me to come over on Monday evening to value a private collection that’s going to be sold. I was quite flattered because I can’t figure out how they got my name.

Forgive this long, incoherent scrawl. How did you like Erewhon? It's pretty near closing time and I must say grace over the day's accounts.

Yours ever,
    ROGER MIFFLIN.

Forgive this long, messy note. How did you enjoy Erewhon? It’s almost closing time and I need to review the day's accounts.

Yours always,
    ROGER MIFFLIN.




Chapter X

Roger Raids the Ice-Box

Roger had just put Carlyle's Cromwell back in its proper place in the History alcove when Helen and Titania returned from the movies. Bock, who had been dozing under his master's chair, rose politely and wagged a deferential tail.

Roger had just put Carlyle's Cromwell back in its proper spot in the History section when Helen and Titania came back from the movies. Bock, who had been snoozing under his owner’s chair, stood up politely and wagged his tail respectfully.

"I do think Bock has the darlingest manners," said Titania.

"I really think Bock has the sweetest manners," said Titania.

"Yes," said Helen, "it's really a marvel that his wagging muscles aren't all worn out, he has abused them so."

"Yeah," said Helen, "it's really amazing that his constantly moving muscles aren't totally worn out, considering how much he's pushed them."

"Well," said Roger, "did you have a good time?"

"Well," Roger said, "did you have fun?"

"An adorable time!" cried Titania, with a face and voice so sparkling that two musty habitues of the shop popped their heads out of the alcoves marked ESSAYS and THEOLOGY and peered in amazement. One of these even went so far as to purchase the copy of Leigh Hunt's Wishing Cap Papers he had been munching through, in order to have an excuse to approach the group and satisfy his bewildered eyes. When Miss Chapman took the book and wrapped it up for him, his astonishment was made complete.

"Such a delightful time!" exclaimed Titania, her face and voice so bright that two dusty regulars in the shop peeked out from the alcoves labeled ESSAYS and THEOLOGY, looking stunned. One of them even decided to buy the copy of Leigh Hunt's Wishing Cap Papers he had been nibbling on, just to have a reason to join the group and satisfy his curious gaze. When Miss Chapman took the book and wrapped it up for him, his surprise was total.

Unconscious that she was actually creating business, Titania resumed.

Unaware that she was actually starting a business, Titania continued.

"We met your friend Mr. Gilbert on the street," she said, "and he went to the movies with us. He says he's coming in on Monday to fix the furnace while you're away."

"We ran into your friend Mr. Gilbert on the street," she said, "and he joined us for a movie. He mentioned that he's coming by on Monday to fix the furnace while you're out."

"Well," said Roger, "these advertising agencies are certainly enterprising, aren't they? Think of sending a man over to attend to my furnace, just on the slim chance of getting my advertising account."

"Well," said Roger, "these advertising agencies are definitely resourceful, aren’t they? Just think about sending someone over to check my furnace, all just for the slim chance of landing my advertising account."

"Did you have a quiet evening?" said Helen.

"Did you have a nice evening?" said Helen.

"I spent most of the time writing to Andrew," said Roger. "One amusing thing happened, though. I actually sold that copy of Philip Dru."

"I spent most of my time writing to Andrew," Roger said. "But something funny happened. I actually sold that copy of Philip Dru."

"No!" cried Helen.

“No!” yelled Helen.

"A fact," said Roger. "A man was looking at it, and I told him it was supposed to be written by Colonel House. He insisted on buying it. But what a sell when he tries to read it!"

"A fact," said Roger. "A guy was looking at it, and I told him it was supposed to be written by Colonel House. He insisted on buying it. But what a joke when he tries to read it!"

"Did Colonel House really write it?" asked Titania.

"Did Colonel House actually write it?" asked Titania.

"I don't know," said Roger. "I hope not, because I find in myself a secret tendency to believe that Mr. House is an able man. If he did write it, I devoutly hope none of the foreign statesmen in Paris will learn of that fact."

"I don't know," said Roger. "I hope not, because I secretly feel that Mr. House is a capable guy. If he did write it, I sincerely hope none of the foreign politicians in Paris find out about it."

While Helen and Titania took off their wraps, Roger was busy closing up the shop. He went down to the corner with Bock to mail his letter, and when he returned to the den Helen had prepared a large jug of cocoa. They sat down by the fire to enjoy it.

While Helen and Titania took off their coats, Roger was busy locking up the shop. He went down to the corner with Bock to mail his letter, and when he got back to the den, Helen had made a big jug of cocoa. They settled down by the fire to enjoy it.

"Chesterton has written a very savage poem against cocoa," said Roger, "which you will find in The Flying Inn; but for my part I find it the ideal evening drink. It lets the mind down gently, and paves the way for slumber. I have often noticed that the most terrific philosophical agonies can be allayed by three cups of Mrs. Mifflin's cocoa. A man can safely read Schopenhauer all evening if he has a tablespoonful of cocoa and a tin of condensed milk available. Of course it should be made with condensed milk, which is the only way."

"Chesterton wrote a pretty harsh poem about cocoa," said Roger, "which you can find in The Flying Inn; but personally, I think it’s the perfect drink for the evening. It relaxes the mind and sets the stage for sleep. I've often noticed that the most intense philosophical struggles can be eased by three cups of Mrs. Mifflin's cocoa. A person can comfortably read Schopenhauer all night if they have a tablespoon of cocoa and a can of condensed milk on hand. Of course, it should be made with condensed milk— that's the only way."

"I had no idea anything could be so good," said Titania. "Of course, Daddy makes condensed milk in one of his factories, but I never dreamed of trying it. I thought it was only used by explorers, people at the North Pole, you know."

"I had no idea anything could be so good," said Titania. "Of course, Dad makes condensed milk in one of his factories, but I never imagined trying it. I thought it was only for explorers, people at the North Pole, you know."

"How stupid of me!" exclaimed Roger. "I quite forgot to tell you! Your father called up just after you had gone out this evening, and wanted to know how you were getting on."

"How dumb of me!" Roger exclaimed. "I totally forgot to tell you! Your dad called right after you went out this evening and wanted to know how you were doing."

"Oh, dear," said Titania. "He must have been delighted to hear I was at the movies, on the second day of my first job! He probably said it was just like me."

"Oh, no," said Titania. "He must have been thrilled to hear I was at the movies on the second day of my first job! He probably said it was just like me."

"I explained that I had insisted on your going with Mrs. Mifflin, because I felt she needed the change."

"I said that I had pushed for you to go with Mrs. Mifflin because I thought she needed a change."

"I do hope," said Titania, "you won't let Daddy poison your mind about me. He thinks I'm dreadfully frivolous, just because I LOOK frivolous. But I'm so keen to make good in this job. I've been practicing doing up parcels all afternoon, so as to learn how to tie the string nicely and not cut it until after the knot's tied. I found that when you cut it beforehand either you get it too short and it won't go round, or else too long and you waste some. Also I've learned how to make wrapping paper cuffs to keep my sleeves clean."

"I really hope," said Titania, "that you won't let Dad fill your head with negative thoughts about me. He thinks I'm incredibly shallow, just because I LOOK shallow. But I'm really eager to do well in this job. I've been practicing wrapping packages all afternoon to learn how to tie the string properly and not cut it until after the knot's tied. I've found that if you cut it first, either it's too short and won't go around, or it's too long and you waste some. Also, I've figured out how to make wrapping paper cuffs to keep my sleeves clean."

"Well, I haven't finished yet," continued Roger. "Your father wants us all to spend to-morrow out at your home. He wants to show us some books he has just bought, and besides he thinks maybe you're feeling homesick."

"Well, I haven't finished yet," continued Roger. "Your dad wants us all to come over to your place tomorrow. He wants to show us some books he just got, and he also thinks you might be feeling homesick."

"What, with all these lovely books to read? Nonsense! I don't want to go home for six months!"

"What, with all these great books to read? Nonsense! I don't want to go home for six months!"

"He wouldn't take No for an answer. He's going to send Edwards round with the car the first thing to-morrow morning."

"He wouldn't accept no for an answer. He's sending Edwards over with the car first thing tomorrow morning."

"What fun!" said Helen. "It'll be delightful."

"What fun!" Helen said. "It'll be great."

"Goodness," said Titania. "Imagine leaving this adorable bookshop to spend Sunday in Larchmont. Well, I'll be able to get that georgette blouse I forgot."

"Wow," said Titania. "Can you believe leaving this cute bookshop to spend Sunday in Larchmont? Well, at least I can pick up that georgette blouse I forgot."

"What time will the car be here?" asked Helen.

"What time will the car arrive?" asked Helen.

"Mr. Chapman said about nine o'clock. He begs us to get out there as early as possible, as he wants to spend the day showing us his books."

"Mr. Chapman said around nine o'clock. He asks us to get there as early as we can because he wants to spend the day showing us his books."

As they sat round the fading bed of coals, Roger began hunting along his private shelves. "Have you ever read any Gissing?" he said.

As they gathered around the dwindling embers, Roger started searching through his personal collection. "Have you ever read any Gissing?" he asked.

Titania made a pathetic gesture to Mrs. Mifflin. "It's awfully embarrassing to be asked these things! No, I never heard of him."

Titania made a disappointing gesture to Mrs. Mifflin. "It's so embarrassing to be asked these things! No, I’ve never heard of him."

"Well, as the street we live on is named after him, I think you ought to," he said. He pulled down his copy of The House of Cobwebs. "I'm going to read you one of the most delightful short stories I know. It's called 'A Charming Family.'"

"Well, since the street we live on is named after him, I think you should," he said. He took down his copy of The House of Cobwebs. "I'm going to read you one of the most delightful short stories I know. It's called 'A Charming Family.'"

"No, Roger," said Mrs. Mifflin firmly. "Not to-night. It's eleven o'clock, and I can see Titania's tired. Even Bock has left us and gone in to his kennel. He's got more sense than you have."

"No, Roger," Mrs. Mifflin said firmly. "Not tonight. It's eleven o'clock, and I can tell Titania's tired. Even Bock has left us and gone into his kennel. He’s got more sense than you do."

"All right," said the bookseller amiably. "Miss Chapman, you take the book up with you and read it in bed if you want to. Are you a librocubicularist?"

"Sure," said the bookseller kindly. "Miss Chapman, you can take the book with you and read it in bed if you want. Are you a librocubicularist?"

Titania looked a little scandalized.

Titania looked a bit stunned.

"It's all right, my dear," said Helen. "He only means are you fond of reading in bed. I've been waiting to hear him work that word into the conversation. He made it up, and he's immensely proud of it."

"It's okay, my dear," said Helen. "He just wants to know if you like reading in bed. I've been waiting to hear him use that word in the conversation. He created it, and he's really proud of it."

"Reading in bed?" said Titania. "What a quaint idea! Does any one do it? It never occurred to me. I'm sure when I go to bed I'm far too sleepy to think of such a thing."

"Reading in bed?" said Titania. "What a charming idea! Does anyone actually do that? It never crossed my mind. I'm definitely way too sleepy to even consider it when I go to bed."

"Run along then, both of you," said Roger. "Get your beauty sleep. I shan't be very late."

"Go ahead, both of you," Roger said. "Get some beauty sleep. I won't be too late."

He meant it when he said it, but returning to his desk at the back of the shop his eye fell upon his private shelf of books which he kept there "to rectify perturbations" as Burton puts it. On this shelf there stood Pilgrim's Progress, Shakespeare, The Anatomy of Melancholy, The Home Book of Verse, George Herbert's Poems, The Notebooks of Samuel Butler, and Leaves of Grass. He took down The Anatomy of Melancholy, that most delightful of all books for midnight browsing. Turning to one of his favourite passages—"A Consolatory Digression, Containing the Remedies of All Manner of Discontents"—he was happily lost to all ticking of the clock, retaining only such bodily consciousness as was needful to dump, fill, and relight his pipe from time to time. Solitude is a dear jewel for men whose days are spent in the tedious this-and-that of trade. Roger was a glutton for his midnight musings. To such tried companions as Robert Burton and George Herbert he was wont to exonerate his spirit. It used to amuse him to think of Burton, the lonely Oxford scholar, writing that vast book to "rectify" his own melancholy.

He really meant it when he said it, but as he returned to his desk at the back of the shop, his eyes landed on his private shelf of books that he kept there "to fix disturbances," as Burton puts it. On this shelf were Pilgrim's Progress, Shakespeare, The Anatomy of Melancholy, The Home Book of Verse, George Herbert's Poems, The Notebooks of Samuel Butler, and Leaves of Grass. He took down The Anatomy of Melancholy, the most delightful book for late-night reading. Turning to one of his favorite passages—"A Consolatory Digression, Containing the Remedies of All Manner of Discontents"—he lost himself in it, paying no attention to the ticking clock, only aware enough of his body to dump, fill, and relight his pipe from time to time. Solitude is a precious jewel for men whose days are filled with the dull routines of business. Roger was a junkie for his midnight thoughts. He would often share his soul with trusted companions like Robert Burton and George Herbert. It used to amuse him to think of Burton, the isolated Oxford scholar, writing that massive book to "fix" his own sadness.

By and by, turning over the musty old pages, he came to the following, on Sleep—

By and by, flipping through the dusty old pages, he came across this, about Sleep—


The fittest time is two or three hours after supper, whenas the meat is now settled at the bottom of the stomach, and 'tis good to lie on the right side first, because at that site the liver doth rest under the stomach, not molesting any way, but heating him as a fire doth a kettle, that is put to it. After the first sleep 'tis not amiss to lie on the left side, that the meat may the better descend, and sometimes again on the belly, but never on the back. Seven or eight hours is a competent time for a melancholy man to rest——

The best time to rest is two or three hours after dinner, when the food has settled in the stomach. It's good to lie on your right side first because that way the liver rests under the stomach without causing any discomfort, kind of like how a fire heats a kettle. After the first sleep, it's okay to turn to your left side to help the food digest better, and sometimes it's fine to lie on your stomach, but never on your back. Seven or eight hours is a good amount of time for someone feeling down to rest—


In that case, thought Roger, it's time for me to be turning in. He looked at his watch, and found it was half-past twelve. He switched off his light and went back to the kitchen quarters to tend the furnace.

In that case, Roger thought, it's time for me to turn in. He looked at his watch and saw it was 12:30. He switched off his light and went back to the kitchen to check on the furnace.

I hesitate to touch upon a topic of domestic bitterness, but candor compels me to say that Roger's evening vigils invariably ended at the ice-box. There are two theories as to this subject of ice-box plundering, one of the husband and the other of the wife. Husbands are prone to think (in their simplicity) that if they take a little of everything palatable they find in the refrigerator, but thus distributing their forage over the viands the general effect of the depradation will be almost unnoticeable. Whereas wives say (and Mrs. Mifflin had often explained to Roger) that it is far better to take all of any one dish than a little of each; for the latter course is likely to diminish each item below the bulk at which it is still useful as a left-over. Roger, however, had the obstinate viciousness of all good husbands, and he knew the delights of cold provender by heart. Many a stewed prune, many a mess of string beans or naked cold boiled potato, many a chicken leg, half apple pie, or sector of rice pudding, had perished in these midnight festivals. He made it a point of honour never to eat quite all of the dish in question, but would pass with unabated zest from one to another. This habit he had sternly repressed during the War, but Mrs. Mifflin had noticed that since the armistice he had resumed it with hearty violence. This is a custom which causes the housewife to be confronted the next morning with a tragical vista of pathetic scraps. Two slices of beet in a little earthenware cup, a sliver of apple pie one inch wide, three prunes lowly nestling in a mere trickle of their own syrup, and a tablespoonful of stewed rhubarb where had been one of those yellow basins nearly full—what can the most resourceful kitcheneer do with these oddments? This atrocious practice cannot be too bitterly condemned.

I’m reluctant to bring up a topic that stirs up conflicting feelings at home, but I feel I have to admit that Roger’s late-night snacking always ended at the fridge. There are two views on this fridge-raiding: one from the husband and another from the wife. Husbands tend to believe (in their naivety) that if they take a little bit of everything tasty they find in the refrigerator, spreading their theft across the various foods, the impact of their actions will go mostly unnoticed. Meanwhile, wives assert (and Mrs. Mifflin often told Roger) that it's much better to take all of one dish instead of a bit from each; because doing the latter tends to reduce each item below the portion size that makes it still worthwhile as a leftover. However, Roger stubbornly embodied the flaws of all good husbands and knew the joys of cold leftovers all too well. Countless stewed prunes, heaps of string beans or plain cold boiled potatoes, chicken legs, half a slice of apple pie, or chunks of rice pudding had all met their demise in these midnight feasts. He made it a point of pride not to finish off any one dish completely, but would eagerly move from one item to another. He had kept this habit in check during the War, but Mrs. Mifflin noticed that since peace was declared, he had taken it up again with renewed enthusiasm. This habit leaves the housewife facing the next morning with a heartbreaking collection of sad leftovers. Two slices of beet in a little dish, a sliver of apple pie an inch wide, three prunes gently lying in a small puddle of their syrup, and a tablespoon of stewed rhubarb where once there was a nearly full yellow bowl—what can even the most creative cook do with these remnants? This terrible practice deserves to be condemned thoroughly.

But we are what we are, and Roger was even more so. The Anatomy of Melancholy always made him hungry, and he dipped discreetly into various vessels of refreshment, sharing a few scraps with Bock whose pleading brown eye at these secret suppers always showed a comical realization of their shameful and furtive nature. Bock knew very well that Roger had no business at the ice-box, for the larger outlines of social law upon which every home depends are clearly understood by dogs. But Bock's face always showed his tremulous eagerness to participate in the sin, and rather than have him stand by as a silent and damning critic, Roger used to give him most of the cold potato. The censure of a dog is something no man can stand. But I rove, as Burton would say.

But we are who we are, and Roger even more so. The Anatomy of Melancholy always made him hungry, and he quietly sampled various refreshments, sharing a few scraps with Bock, whose pleading brown eye during these secret meals always revealed a funny understanding of their shameful and sneaky nature. Bock knew very well that Roger had no business at the icebox, as the basic rules of social order that every home relies on are easily understood by dogs. But Bock's face always showed his nervous eagerness to join in on the mischief, and rather than let him stand by as a silent and judging critic, Roger would give him most of the cold potato. The disapproval of a dog is something no man can endure. But I digress, as Burton would say.

After the ice-box, the cellar. Like all true householders, Roger was fond of his cellar. It was something mouldy of smell, but it harboured a well-stocked little bin of liquors, and the florid glow of the furnace mouth upon the concrete floor was a great pleasure to the bookseller. He loved to peer in at the dancing flicker of small blue flames that played above the ruddy mound of coals in the firebox—tenuous, airy little flames that were as blue as violets and hovered up and down in the ascending gases. Before blackening the fire with a stoking of coal he pulled up a wooden Bushmills box, turned off the electric bulb overhead, and sat there for a final pipe, watching the rosy shine of the grate. The tobacco smoke, drawn inward by the hot inhaling fire, seemed dry and gray in the golden brightness. Bock, who had pattered down the steps after him, nosed and snooped about the cellar. Roger was thinking of Burton's words on the immortal weed—

After the icebox, it was the cellar. Like all true homeowners, Roger was fond of his cellar. It had a kind of musty smell, but it was home to a well-stocked little stash of drinks, and the warm glow from the furnace on the concrete floor brought him great joy. He loved to watch the flickering blue flames dancing above the red mound of coals in the firebox—delicate little flames as blue as violets, rising and falling with the warm air. Before darkening the fire with a coal stoking, he pulled up a wooden Bushmills box, turned off the overhead light, and settled in for one last pipe, gazing at the glowing grate. The tobacco smoke, pulled in by the hot, inhaling fire, looked dry and gray in the golden light. Bock, who had followed him down the steps, sniffed around the cellar. Roger was thinking about Burton's words on the everlasting weed—


Tobacco, divine, rare, superexcellent tobacco, which goes far beyond all the panaceas, potable gold, and philosopher's stones, a sovereign remedy to all diseases.… a virtuous herb, if it be well qualified, opportunely taken, and medicinally used; but as it is commonly abused by most men, which take it as tinkers do ale, 'tis a plague, a mischief, a violent purger of goods, lands, health, hellish, devilish, and damned tobacco, the ruin and overthrow of body and soul——

Tobacco, divine, rare, super excellent tobacco, which surpasses all remedies, liquid gold, and philosopher's stones, a supreme cure for all illnesses.… a noble herb, if it's used properly, taken at the right time, and used medicinally; but since it’s mostly misused by people, who treat it like how tinkers treat ale, it becomes a curse, a problem, a harsh destroyer of wealth, land, health, hellish, devilish, and damned tobacco, the downfall and destruction of body and soul——


Bock was standing on his hind legs, looking up at the front wall of the cellar, in which two small iron-grated windows opened onto the sunken area by the front door of the shop. He gave a low growl, and seemed uneasy.

Bock was standing on his hind legs, looking up at the front wall of the cellar, where two small iron-grated windows opened onto the sunken area by the front door of the shop. He let out a low growl and appeared restless.

"What is it, Bock?" said Roger placidly, finishing his pipe.

"What’s up, Bock?" Roger said calmly, finishing his pipe.

Bock gave a short, sharp bark, with a curious note of protest in it. But Roger's mind was still with Burton.

Bock let out a quick, sharp bark that had a hint of protest. But Roger was still focused on Burton.

"Rats?" he said. "Aye, very likely! This is Ratisbon, old man, but don't bark about it. Incident of the French Camp: 'Smiling, the rat fell dead.'"

"Rats?" he said. "Yeah, probably! This is Ratisbon, old man, but don't make a fuss about it. Incident of the French Camp: 'Smiling, the rat fell dead.'"

Bock paid no heed to this persiflage, but prowled the front end of the cellar, looking upward in curious agitation. He growled again, softly.

Bock ignored the teasing remarks and roamed the front of the cellar, glancing up with a curious restlessness. He growled softly again.

"Shhh," said Roger gently. "Never mind the rats, Bock. Come on, we'll stoke up the fire and go to bed. Lord, it's one o'clock."

"Shhh," Roger said softly. "Don't worry about the rats, Bock. Come on, let’s add some wood to the fire and head to bed. Wow, it’s already one o'clock."




Chapter XI

Titania Tries Reading in Bed

Aubrey, sitting at his window with the opera glasses, soon realized that he was blind weary. Even the exalted heroics of romance are not proof against fatigue, most potent enemy of all who do and dream. He had had a long day, coming after the skull-smiting of the night before; it was only the frosty air at the lifted sash that kept him at all awake. He had fallen into a half drowse when he heard footsteps coming down the opposite side of the street.

Aubrey, sitting by his window with the opera glasses, quickly realized that he was exhausted. Even the grand excitement of romance can't fight off fatigue, the strongest enemy of all who act and dream. He had a long day, following the rough night before; it was only the chilly air coming through the open window that kept him somewhat awake. He had started to doze off when he heard footsteps approaching from the other side of the street.

He had forced himself awake several times before, to watch the passage of some harmless strollers through the innocent blackness of the Brooklyn night, but this time it was what he sought. The man stepped stealthily, with a certain blend of wariness and assurance. He halted under the lamp by the bookshop door, and the glasses gave him enlarged to Aubrey's eye. It was Weintraub, the druggist.

He had woken up several times before to watch some harmless people pass through the quiet darkness of the Brooklyn night, but this time it was what he was looking for. The man moved quietly, showing both caution and confidence. He stopped under the lamp by the bookshop door, and his glasses made him appear larger to Aubrey's eye. It was Weintraub, the pharmacist.

The front of the bookshop was now entirely dark save for a curious little glimmer down below the pavement level. This puzzled Aubrey, but he focussed his glasses on the door of the shop. He saw Weintraub pull a key out of his pocket, insert it very carefully in the lock, and open the door stealthily. Leaving the door ajar behind him, the druggist slipped into the shop.

The front of the bookshop was completely dark except for a strange little glimmer below the pavement level. This confused Aubrey, but he adjusted his glasses to look at the shop door. He saw Weintraub take a key out of his pocket, carefully insert it into the lock, and quietly open the door. Leaving the door slightly open behind him, the pharmacist slipped into the shop.

"What devil's business is this?" thought Aubrey angrily. "The swine has even got a key of his own. There's no doubt about it. He and Mifflin are working together on this job."

"What kind of devilry is this?" Aubrey thought angrily. "The jerk even has his own key. There’s no doubt about it. He and Mifflin are in cahoots on this."

For a moment he was uncertain what to do. Should he run downstairs and across the street? Then, as he hesitated, he saw a pale beam of light over in the front left-hand corner of the shop. Through the glasses he could see the yellow circle of a flashlight splotched upon dim shelves of books. He saw Weintraub pull a volume out of the case, and the light vanished. Another instant and the man reappeared in the doorway, closed the door behind him with a gesture of careful silence, and was off up the street quietly and swiftly. It was all over in a minute. Two yellow oblongs shone for a minute or two down in the area underneath the door. Through the glasses he now made out these patches as the cellar windows. Then they disappeared also, and all was placid gloom. In the quivering light of the street lamps he could see the bookseller's sign gleaming whitely, with its lettering THIS SHOP IS HAUNTED.

For a moment, he wasn't sure what to do. Should he run downstairs and across the street? Then, as he hesitated, he noticed a pale beam of light in the front left corner of the shop. Through the binoculars, he could see the yellow circle of a flashlight splashed across the dim shelves of books. He saw Weintraub pull a book from the case, and then the light disappeared. A moment later, the man reappeared in the doorway, closed the door behind him with a careful gesture, and quietly and swiftly headed up the street. It all happened in a minute. Two yellow rectangles shone for a minute or two down in the area under the door. Through the binoculars, he now recognized these patches as the cellar windows. Then they disappeared too, and everything was quiet and dark. In the flickering light of the street lamps, he could see the bookseller's sign glowing white, with the words THIS SHOP IS HAUNTED.

Aubrey sat back in his chair. "Well," he said to himself, "that guy certainly gave his shop the right name. This is by me. I do believe it's only some book-stealing game after all. I wonder if he and Weintraub go in for some first-edition faking, or some such stunt as that? I'd give a lot to know what it's all about."

Aubrey leaned back in his chair. "Well," he thought to himself, "that guy really did choose the perfect name for his shop. This is on me. I bet it’s just some book-stealing scheme after all. I wonder if he and Weintraub are involved in faking first editions or something like that? I'd pay a lot to find out what’s going on."

He stayed by the window on the qui vive, but no sound broke the stillness of Gissing Street. In the distance he could hear the occasional rumble of the Elevated trains rasping round the curve on Wordsworth Avenue. He wondered whether he ought to go over and break into the shop to see if all was well. But, like every healthy young man, he had a horror of appearing absurd. Little by little weariness numbed his apprehensions. Two o'clock clanged and echoed from distant steeples. He threw off his clothes and crawled into bed.

He stood by the window, alert, but no sound disturbed the quiet of Gissing Street. In the distance, he could hear the occasional rumble of the Elevated trains rounding the bend on Wordsworth Avenue. He wondered if he should go over and break into the shop to check if everything was okay. But, like any healthy young man, he feared looking foolish. Gradually, tiredness dulled his worries. The clock struck two, its chimes echoing from distant steeples. He took off his clothes and climbed into bed.


It was ten o'clock on Sunday morning when he awoke. A broad swath of sunlight cut the room in half: the white muslin curtain at the window rippled outward like a flag. Aubrey exclaimed when he saw his watch. He had a sudden feeling of having been false to his trust. What had been happening across the way?

It was ten o'clock on Sunday morning when he woke up. A wide beam of sunlight split the room in two: the white muslin curtain at the window fluttered like a flag. Aubrey gasped when he saw his watch. He suddenly felt like he had betrayed his trust. What had been going on next door?

He gazed out at the bookshop. Gissing Street was bright and demure in the crisp quietness of the forenoon. Mifflin's house showed no sign of life. It was as he had last seen it, save that broad green shades had been drawn down inside the big front windows, making it impossible to look through into the book-filled alcoves.

He looked out at the bookstore. Gissing Street was bright and calm in the fresh quiet of the morning. Mifflin's house had no signs of life. It looked just like he had seen it last, except that wide green curtains were drawn down inside the large front windows, making it impossible to see into the book-filled alcoves.

Aubrey put on his overcoat in lieu of a dressing gown, and went in search of a bathtub. He found the bathroom on his floor locked, with sounds of leisurely splashing within. "Damn Mrs. J. F. Smith," he said. He was about to descend to the storey below, bashfully conscious of bare feet and pyjamaed shins, but looking over the banisters he saw Mrs. Schiller and the treasure-dog engaged in some household manoeuvres. The pug caught sight of his pyjama legs and began to yap. Aubrey retreated in the irritation of a man baulked of a cold tub. He shaved and dressed rapidly.

Aubrey threw on his overcoat instead of a robe and went looking for a bathtub. He found the bathroom on his floor locked, with sounds of splashing inside. "Damn Mrs. J. F. Smith," he muttered. He was about to head down to the floor below, feeling awkward about his bare feet and pajama-clad legs, but when he looked over the banister, he saw Mrs. Schiller and the treasure dog handling some household tasks. The pug spotted his pajama legs and started barking. Aubrey backed away, annoyed at being denied a cold bath. He quickly shaved and got dressed.

On his way downstairs he met Mrs. Schiller. He thought that her gaze was disapproving.

On his way downstairs, he ran into Mrs. Schiller. He felt like her look was disapproving.

"A gentleman called to see you last night, sir," she said. "He said he was very sorry to miss you."

"A man came by to see you last night, sir," she said. "He said he was really sorry to have missed you."

"I was rather late in getting in," said Aubrey. "Did he leave his name?"

"I got in quite late," said Aubrey. "Did he leave his name?"

"No, he said he'd see you some other time. He woke the whole house up by falling downstairs," she added sourly.

"No, he said he'd catch up with you another time. He woke up the whole house by falling down the stairs," she added with irritation.

He left the lodging house swiftly, fearing to be seen from the bookshop. He was very eager to learn if everything was all right, but he did not want the Mifflins to know he was lodging just opposite. Hastening diagonally across the street, he found that the Milwaukee Lunch, where he had eaten the night before, was open. He went in and had breakfast, rejoicing in grapefruit, ham and eggs, coffee, and doughnuts. He lit a pipe and sat by the window wondering what to do next. "It's damned perplexing," he said to himself. "I stand to lose either way. If I don't do anything, something may happen to the girl; if I butt in too soon I'll get in dutch with her. I wish I knew what Weintraub and that chef are up to."

He quickly left the boarding house, worried he might be seen from the bookstore. He was really eager to find out if everything was okay, but he didn't want the Mifflins to know he was staying right across the street. Rushing diagonally across the road, he noticed that the Milwaukee Lunch, where he had eaten the night before, was open. He went in and had breakfast, enjoying grapefruit, ham and eggs, coffee, and doughnuts. He lit a pipe and sat by the window, wondering what to do next. "This is really confusing," he said to himself. "I could lose either way. If I do nothing, something might happen to the girl; if I step in too soon, I'll get in trouble with her. I wish I knew what Weintraub and that chef are up to."

The lunchroom was practically empty, and in two chairs near him the proprietor and his assistant were sitting talking. Aubrey was suddenly struck by what they said.

The lunchroom was almost empty, and in two chairs nearby, the owner and his assistant were chatting. Aubrey was suddenly caught by what they were saying.

"Say, this here, now, bookseller guy must have struck it rich."

"Hey, this bookseller must have hit the jackpot."

"Who, Mifflin?"

"Who, Mifflin?"

"Yeh; did ya see that car in front of his place this morning?"

"Yeah, did you see that car in front of his house this morning?"

"No."

"No."

"Believe me, some boat."

"Trust me, what a boat."

"Musta hired it, hey? Where'd he go at?"

"Musta hired it, right? Where did he go?"

"I didn't see. I just saw the bus standing front the door."

"I didn't see. I just saw the bus parked in front of the door."

"Say, did you see that swell dame he's got clerking for him?"

"Hey, did you see that great woman he's got working for him?"

"I sure did. What's he doing, taking her joy-riding?"

"I definitely did. What's he doing, taking her for a joyride?"

"Shouldn't wonder. I wouldn't blame him——"

"Wouldn't be surprised. I wouldn't blame him—"

Aubrey gave no sign of having heard, but got up and left the lunchroom. Had the girl been kidnapped while he overslept? He burned with shame to think what a pitiful failure his knight-errantry had been. His first idea was to beard Weintraub and compel him to explain his connection with the bookshop. His next thought was to call up Mr. Chapman and warn him of what had been going on. Then he decided it would be futile to do either of these before he really knew what had happened. He determined to get into the bookshop itself, and burst open its sinister secret.

Aubrey showed no indication that he had heard but got up and left the lunchroom. Had the girl been kidnapped while he’d slept in? He felt a wave of shame thinking about how badly he had failed as a knight in shining armor. His first thought was to confront Weintraub and force him to clarify his connection with the bookstore. His next idea was to call Mr. Chapman and alert him to what had been happening. Then he realized that it would be pointless to do either of those things before he truly understood the situation. He decided he needed to go into the bookstore itself and uncover its dark secret.

He walked hurriedly round to the rear alley, and surveyed the domestic apartments of the shop. Two windows in the second storey stood slightly open, but he could discern no signs of life. The back gate was still unlocked, and he walked boldly into the yard.

He rushed around to the back alley and looked over the living quarters of the shop. Two windows on the second floor were slightly open, but he couldn't see any signs of life. The back gate was still unlocked, so he walked confidently into the yard.

The little enclosure was serene in the pale winter sunlight. Along one fence ran a line of bushes and perennials, their roots wrapped in straw. The grass plot was lumpy, the sod withered to a tawny yellow and granulated with a sprinkle of frost. Below the kitchen door—which stood at the head of a flight of steps—was a little grape arbour with a rustic bench where Roger used to smoke his pipe on summer evenings. At the back of this arbour was the cellar door. Aubrey tried it, and found it locked.

The small enclosure was calm in the soft winter sunlight. Along one fence, there was a row of bushes and perennials, their roots wrapped in straw. The grass area was bumpy, the sod faded to a dull yellow and covered with a light layer of frost. Below the kitchen door—which was at the top of a set of steps—was a small grape arbor with a rustic bench where Roger used to smoke his pipe on summer evenings. At the back of this arbor was the cellar door. Aubrey tried it and found it locked.

He was in no mood to stick at trifles. He was determined to unriddle the mystery of the bookshop. At the right of the door was a low window, level with the brick pavement. Through the dusty pane he could see it was fastened only by a hook on the inside. He thrust his heel through the pane. As the glass tinkled onto the cellar floor he heard a low growl. He unhooked the catch, lifted the frame of the broken window, and looked in. There was Bock, with head quizzically tilted, uttering a rumbling guttural vibration that seemed to proceed automatically from his interior.

He wasn't in the mood to play around. He was determined to figure out the mystery of the bookshop. To the right of the door was a low window, level with the brick pavement. Through the dusty glass, he saw that it was only secured by a hook on the inside. He kicked his heel through the glass. As the shards tinkled onto the cellar floor, he heard a low growl. He unhooked the catch, lifted the frame of the broken window, and looked inside. There was Bock, with his head tilted curiously, making a rumbling, guttural sound that seemed to come automatically from deep inside him.

Aubrey was a little dashed, but he said cheerily "Hullo, Bock! Good old man! Well, well, nice old fellow!" To his surprise, Bock recognized him as a friend and wagged his tail slightly, but still continued to growl.

Aubrey felt a bit let down, but he said cheerfully, "Hey, Bock! Good old buddy! Well, well, nice to see you, my friend!" To his surprise, Bock recognized him and wagged his tail a bit, but still kept growling.

"I wish dogs weren't such sticklers for form," thought Aubrey. "Now if I went in by the front door, Bock wouldn't say anything. It's just because he sees me coming in this way that he's annoyed. Well, I'll have to take a chance."

"I wish dogs weren't so picky about rules," thought Aubrey. "If I went in through the front door, Bock wouldn’t mind at all. It’s just because he sees me coming in this way that he’s upset. Well, I’ll have to take a risk."

He thrust his legs in through the window, carefully holding up the sash with its jagged triangles of glass. It will never be known how severely Bock was tempted by the extremities thus exposed to him, but he was an old dog and his martial instincts had been undermined by years of kindness. Moreover, he remembered Aubrey perfectly well, and the smell of his trousers did not seem at all hostile. So he contented himself with a small grumbling of protest. He was an Irish terrier, but there was nothing Sinn Fein about him.

He pushed his legs through the window, carefully holding up the window frame with its sharp pieces of glass. It will never be known how much Bock was tempted by the exposed limbs in front of him, but he was an old dog, and his fighting instincts had faded after years of being treated kindly. Besides, he remembered Aubrey quite well, and the smell of his pants didn’t seem threatening at all. So, he settled for a little grumbling of protest. He was an Irish terrier, but there was nothing radical about him.

Aubrey dropped to the floor, and patted the dog, thanking his good fortune. He glanced about the cellar as though expecting to find some lurking horror. Nothing more appalling than several cases of beer bottles met his eyes. He started quietly to go up the cellar stairs, and Bock, evidently consumed with legitimate curiosity, kept at his heels.

Aubrey dropped to the floor and petted the dog, feeling grateful for his good luck. He looked around the cellar as if he was expecting to find some hidden terror. The only thing more alarming than a few cases of beer bottles caught his eye. He quietly began to head up the cellar stairs, and Bock, clearly driven by genuine curiosity, followed closely behind him.

"Look here," thought Aubrey. "I don't want the dog following me all through the house. If I touch anything he'll probably take a hunk out of my shin."

"Look here," thought Aubrey. "I don't want the dog trailing after me all through the house. If I touch anything, he'll probably take a chunk out of my shin."

He unlocked the door into the yard, and Bock obeying the Irish terrier's natural impulse to get into the open air, ran outside. Aubrey quickly closed the door again. Bock's face appeared at the broken window, looking in with so quaint an expression of indignant surprise that Aubrey almost laughed. "There, old man," he said, "it's all right. I'm just going to look around a bit."

He unlocked the door to the yard, and Bock, following the Irish terrier's instinct to get outside, ran out. Aubrey quickly closed the door again. Bock's face showed up at the broken window, peering in with such a funny look of shocked disbelief that Aubrey almost chuckled. "There, buddy," he said, "it's all good. I'm just going to look around a bit."

He ascended the stairs on tiptoe and found himself in the kitchen. All was quiet. An alarm clock ticked with a stumbling, headlong hurry. Pots of geraniums stood on the window sill. The range, with its lids off and the fire carefully nourished, radiated a mild warmth. Through a dark little pantry he entered the dining room. Still no sign of anything amiss. A pot of white heather stood on the table, and a corncob pipe lay on the sideboard. "This is the most innocent-looking kidnapper's den I ever heard of," he thought. "Any moving-picture director would be ashamed not to provide a better stage-set."

He tiptoed up the steps and found himself in the kitchen. Everything was quiet. An alarm clock ticked away with an almost frantic rhythm. Pots of geraniums sat on the windowsill. The stove, with its lids off and the fire gently tended, gave off a comforting warmth. He walked through a small, dark pantry and entered the dining room. Still no sign of anything wrong. A pot of white heather was on the table, and a corncob pipe rested on the sideboard. "This is the most innocent-looking kidnapper’s lair I’ve ever seen," he thought. "Any movie director would be embarrassed not to create a better set."

At that instant he heard footsteps overhead. Curiously soft, muffled footsteps. Instantly he was on the alert. Now he would know the worst.

At that moment, he heard footsteps above. Soft, muffled footsteps. Immediately, he was on high alert. Now he would find out what was really going on.

A window upstairs was thrown open. "Bock, what are you doing in the yard?" floated a voice—a very clear, imperious voice that somehow made him think of the thin ringing of a fine glass tumbler. It was Titania.

A window upstairs swung open. "Bock, what are you doing in the yard?" called a voice—a very clear, commanding voice that somehow reminded him of the delicate chime of a fine glass tumbler. It was Titania.

He stood aghast. Then he heard a door open, and steps on the stair. Merciful heaven, the girl must not find him here. What WOULD she think? He skipped back into the pantry, and shrank into a corner. He heard the footfalls reach the bottom of the stairs. There was a door into the kitchen from the central hall: it was not necessary for her to pass through the pantry, he thought. He heard her enter the kitchen.

He stood in shock. Then he heard a door open and footsteps on the stairs. Oh no, the girl couldn’t see him here. What WOULD she think? He quickly jumped back into the pantry and pressed himself against a corner. He heard the footsteps reach the bottom of the stairs. There was a door from the central hall into the kitchen; she didn’t need to come through the pantry, he thought. He heard her enter the kitchen.

In his anxiety he crouched down beneath the sink, and his foot, bent beneath him, touched a large tin tray leaning against the wall. It fell over with a terrible clang.

In his anxiety, he crouched down under the sink, and his foot, bent beneath him, brushed against a large tin tray leaning against the wall. It toppled over with a loud crash.

"Bock!" said Titania sharply, "what are you doing?"

"Bock!" Titania said sharply, "what are you doing?"

Aubrey was wondering miserably whether he ought to counterfeit a bark, but it was too late to do anything. The pantry door opened, and Titania looked in.

Aubrey was feeling really down, wondering if he should fake a bark, but it was too late to do anything about it. The pantry door swung open, and Titania peeked in.

They gazed at each other for several seconds in mutual horror. Even in his abasement, crouching under a shelf in the corner, Aubrey's stricken senses told him that he had never seen so fair a spectacle. Titania wore a blue kimono and a curious fragile lacy bonnet which he did not understand. Her dark, gold-spangled hair came down in two thick braids across her shoulders. Her blue eyes were very much alive with amazement and alarm which rapidly changed into anger.

They stared at each other for several seconds in shared horror. Even while feeling ashamed, crouching under a shelf in the corner, Aubrey's shocked senses told him that he had never seen such a beautiful sight. Titania wore a blue kimono and a strange, delicate lacy bonnet that he couldn't comprehend. Her dark, gold-spangled hair fell in two thick braids over her shoulders. Her blue eyes were full of life, showing both amazement and alarm that quickly turned into anger.

"Mr. Gilbert!" she cried. For an instant he thought she was going to laugh. Then a new expression came into her face. Without another word she turned and fled. He heard her run upstairs. A door banged, and was locked. A window was hastily closed. Again all was silent.

"Mr. Gilbert!" she called out. For a moment he thought she was going to laugh. Then a different look crossed her face. Without saying anything else, she turned and ran away. He heard her rush upstairs. A door slammed and locked. A window was quickly shut. Then everything went quiet again.

Stupefied with chagrin, he rose from his cramped position. What on earth was he to do? How could he explain? He stood by the pantry sink in painful indecision. Should he slink out of the house? No, he couldn't do that without attempting to explain. And he was still convinced that some strange peril hung about this place. He must put Titania on her guard, no matter how embarrassing it proved. If only she hadn't been wearing a kimono—how much easier it would have been.

Stunned with embarrassment, he got up from his cramped spot. What was he supposed to do? How could he explain? He stood by the pantry sink in painful uncertainty. Should he sneak out of the house? No, he couldn’t do that without at least trying to explain. And he was still convinced that some strange danger surrounded this place. He had to warn Titania, no matter how awkward it might be. If only she hadn’t been wearing a kimono—everything would have been so much easier.

He stepped out into the hall, and stood at the bottom of the stairs in the throes of doubt. After waiting some time in silence he cleared the huskiness from his throat and called out:

He stepped into the hallway and stood at the bottom of the stairs, filled with uncertainty. After waiting in silence for a while, he cleared his throat and called out:

"Miss Chapman!"

"Ms. Chapman!"

There was no answer, but he heard light, rapid movements above.

There was no answer, but he heard quick, light movements above.

"Miss Chapman!" he called again.

"Miss Chapman!" he called again.

He heard the door opened, and clear words edged with frost came downward. This time he thought of a thin tumbler with ice in it.

He heard the door open, and sharp words laced with frost came down. This time he pictured a thin glass filled with ice.

"Mr. Gilbert!"

"Mr. Gilbert!"

"Yes?" he said miserably.

"Yeah?" he said miserably.

"Will you please call me a taxi?"

"Could you please call me a taxi?"

Something in the calm, mandatory tone nettled him. After all, he had acted in pure good faith.

Something about the calm, mandatory tone irritated him. After all, he had acted in complete good faith.

"With pleasure," he said, "but not until I have told you something. It's very important. I beg your pardon most awfully for frightening you, but it's really very urgent."

"Of course," he said, "but not until I share something with you. It's really important. I'm really sorry for scaring you, but it's quite urgent."

There was a brief silence. Then she said:

There was a short pause. Then she said:

"Brooklyn's a queer place. Wait a few minutes, please."

"Brooklyn's a unique place. Please hold on for a few minutes."

Aubrey stood absently fingering the pattern on the wallpaper. He suddenly experienced a great craving for a pipe, but felt that the etiquette of the situation hardly permitted him to smoke.

Aubrey stood idly touching the pattern on the wallpaper. He suddenly felt a strong urge for a pipe, but thought that the situation didn't really allow for him to smoke.

In a few moments Titania appeared at the head of the stairs in her customary garb. She sat down on the landing. Aubrey felt that everything was as bad as it could possibly be. If he could have seen her face his embarrassment would at least have had some compensation. But the light from a stair window shone behind her, and her features were in shadow. She sat clasping her hands round her knees. The light fell crosswise down the stairway, and he could see only a gleam of brightness upon her ankle. His mind unconsciously followed its beaten paths. "What a corking pose for a silk stocking ad!" he thought. "Wouldn't it make a stunning full-page layout. I must suggest it to the Ankleshimmer people."

In a few moments, Titania appeared at the top of the stairs in her usual outfit. She sat down on the landing. Aubrey felt that everything was as bad as it could get. If he could have seen her face, his embarrassment would have at least had some relief. But the light from a stair window shone behind her, leaving her features in shadow. She sat with her hands clasped around her knees. The light fell across the stairway, and he could only see a glimmer of brightness on her ankle. His mind unconsciously followed its usual track. "What a perfect pose for a silk stocking ad!" he thought. "Wouldn't it make an amazing full-page spread? I should suggest it to the Ankleshimmer team."

"Well?" she said. Then she could not refrain from laughter, he looked so hapless. She burst into an engaging trill. "Why don't you light your pipe?" she said. "You look as doleful as the Kaiser."

"Well?" she asked. Then she couldn't help but laugh; he looked so miserable. She let out a cheerful laugh. "Why don't you light your pipe?" she said. "You look as gloomy as the Kaiser."

"Miss Chapman," he said, "I'm afraid you think—I don't know what you must think. But I broke in here this morning because I—well, I don't think this is a safe place for you to be."

"Miss Chapman," he said, "I'm afraid you might think—I don't know what you’re thinking. But I came in here this morning because I—well, I don’t think it’s a safe place for you to be."

"So it seems. That's why I asked you to get me a taxi."

"So it looks like that. That's why I asked you to get me a taxi."

"There's something queer going on round this shop. It's not right for you to be here alone this way. I was afraid something had happened to you. Of course, I didn't know you were—were——"

"There's something strange happening around this shop. It's not okay for you to be here alone like this. I was worried something had happened to you. Of course, I didn't know you were—were——"

Faint almond blossoms grew in her cheeks. "I was reading," she said. "Mr. Mifflin talks so much about reading in bed, I thought I'd try it. They wanted me to go with them to-day but I wouldn't. You see, if I'm going to be a bookseller I've got to catch up with some of this literature that's been accumulating. After they left I—I—well, I wanted to see if this reading in bed is what it's cracked up to be."

Faint almond blossoms appeared in her cheeks. "I was reading," she said. "Mr. Mifflin talks a lot about reading in bed, so I thought I'd give it a try. They wanted me to go with them today, but I didn't. You see, if I'm going to be a bookseller, I need to catch up on some of the literature that’s piled up. After they left, I—I—well, I wanted to find out if reading in bed is really as great as people say."

"Where has Mifflin gone?" asked Aubrey. "What business has he got to leave you here all alone?"

"Where did Mifflin go?" Aubrey asked. "What reason does he have to leave you here all by yourself?"

"I had Bock," said Titania. "Gracious, Brooklyn on Sunday morning doesn't seem very perilous to me. If you must know, he and Mrs. Mifflin have gone over to spend the day with father. I was to have gone, too, but I wouldn't. What business is it of yours? You're as bad as Morris Finsbury in The Wrong Box. That's what I was reading when I heard the dog barking."

"I had Bock," Titania said. "Honestly, Brooklyn on a Sunday morning doesn’t seem very dangerous to me. If you really want to know, he and Mrs. Mifflin have gone to spend the day with my dad. I was supposed to go, too, but I didn’t want to. What’s it to you? You’re just as annoying as Morris Finsbury in The Wrong Box. That’s what I was reading when I heard the dog barking."

Aubrey began to grow nettled. "You seem to think this was a mere impertinence on my part," he said. "Let me tell you a thing or two." And he briefly described to her the course of his experiences since leaving the shop on Friday evening, but omitting the fact that he was lodging just across the street.

Aubrey started to get annoyed. "You seem to think this was just a simple disrespect from me," he said. "Let me explain a few things." He then quickly told her about what had happened to him since he left the shop on Friday evening, leaving out the part about staying just across the street.

"There's something mighty unpalatable going on," he said. "At first I thought Mifflin was the goat. I thought it might be some frame-up for swiping valuable books from his shop. But when I saw Weintraub come in here with his own latch-key, I got wise. He and Mifflin are in cahoots, that's what. I don't know what they're pulling off, but I don't like the looks of it. You say Mifflin has gone out to see your father? I bet that's just camouflage, to stall you. I've got a great mind to ring Mr. Chapman up and tell him he ought to get you out of here."

"Something really suspicious is happening," he said. "At first, I thought Mifflin was the one behind it all. I figured it might be a setup to steal valuable books from his shop. But when I saw Weintraub come in with his own key, I realized what's really going on. He and Mifflin are working together, that’s for sure. I don’t know what their plan is, but it doesn’t look good to me. You mentioned Mifflin went out to see your dad? I bet that’s just a cover to buy time. I'm seriously thinking about calling Mr. Chapman to let him know he should get you out of here."

"I won't hear a word said against Mr. Mifflin," said Titania angrily. "He's one of my father's oldest friends. What would Mr. Mifflin say if he knew you had been breaking into his house and frightening me half to death? I'm sorry you got that knock on the head, because it seems that's your weak spot. I'm quite able to take care of myself, thank you. This isn't a movie."

"I won't listen to anything bad said about Mr. Mifflin," Titania said angrily. "He's one of my father's oldest friends. What would Mr. Mifflin think if he knew you had been sneaking into his house and scaring me half to death? I'm sorry you got hit on the head, since it seems that's your weak point. I can take care of myself, thanks. This isn't a movie."

"Well, how do you explain the actions of this man Weintraub?" said Aubrey. "Do you like to have a man popping in and out of the shop at all hours of the night, stealing books?"

"Well, how do you explain the actions of this guy Weintraub?" said Aubrey. "Do you like having someone showing up at the shop at all hours of the night, stealing books?"

"I don't have to explain it at all," said Titania. "I think it's up to you to do the explaining. Weintraub is a harmless old thing and he keeps delicious chocolates that cost only half as much as what you get on Fifth Avenue. Mr. Mifflin told me that he's a very good customer. Perhaps his business won't let him read in the daytime, and he comes in here late at night to borrow books. He probably reads in bed."

"I don't need to explain it at all," said Titania. "I think it’s your job to explain. Weintraub is a harmless old guy, and he has amazing chocolates that are only half the price of what you find on Fifth Avenue. Mr. Mifflin mentioned that he’s a really good customer. Maybe his job doesn’t allow him to read during the day, so he comes in here late at night to borrow books. He probably reads in bed."

"I don't think anybody who talks German round back alleys at night is a harmless old thing," said Aubrey. "I tell you, your Haunted Bookshop is haunted by something worse than the ghost of Thomas Carlyle. Let me show you something." He pulled the book cover out of his pocket, and pointed to the annotations in it.

"I don't believe anyone who speaks German in dark alleys at night is just some harmless old person," Aubrey said. "I’m telling you, your Haunted Bookshop is haunted by something more unsettling than the ghost of Thomas Carlyle. Let me show you something." He pulled the book cover out of his pocket and pointed to the notes in it.

"That's Mifflin's handwriting," said Titania, pointing to the upper row of figures. "He puts notes like that in all his favourite books. They refer to pages where he has found interesting things."

"That's Mifflin's handwriting," said Titania, pointing to the top row of numbers. "He writes notes like that in all his favorite books. They refer to pages where he has discovered interesting things."

"Yes, and that's Weintraub's," said Aubrey, indicating the numbers in violet ink. "If that isn't a proof of their complicity, I'd like to know what is. If that Cromwell book is here, I'd like to have a look at it."

"Yeah, and that's Weintraub's," Aubrey said, pointing to the numbers in purple ink. "If that doesn't prove they're involved, I don't know what does. If that Cromwell book is around, I’d like to check it out."

They went into the shop. Titania preceded him down the musty aisle, and it made Aubrey angry to see the obstinate assurance of her small shoulders. He was horribly tempted to seize her and shake her. It annoyed him to see her bright, unconscious girlhood in that dingy vault of books. "She's as out of place here as—as a Packard ad in the Liberator" he said to himself.

They walked into the shop. Titania led the way down the old, musty aisle, and it made Aubrey angry to see the stubborn confidence in her small shoulders. He was really tempted to grab her and shake her. It annoyed him to see her bright, carefree youth in that gloomy place full of books. "She's as out of place here as a Packard ad in the Liberator," he thought to himself.

They stood in the History alcove. "Here it is," she said. "No, it isn't—that's the History of Frederick the Great."

They stood in the History section. "Here it is," she said. "No, it isn't—that's the History of Frederick the Great."

There was a two-inch gap in the shelf. Cromwell was gone.

There was a two-inch gap on the shelf. Cromwell was gone.

"Probably Mr. Mifflin has it somewhere around," said Titania. "It was there last night."

"Mr. Mifflin probably has it somewhere around," Titania said. "It was there last night."

"Probably nothing," said Aubrey. "I tell you, Weintraub came in and took it. I saw him. Look here, if you really want to know what I think, I'll tell you. The War's not over by a long sight. Weintraub's a German. Carlyle was pro-German—I remember that much from college. I believe your friend Mifflin is pro-German, too. I've heard some of his talk!"

"Probably nothing," Aubrey said. "I’m telling you, Weintraub came in and took it. I saw him. Look, if you really want to know what I think, I'll tell you. The War isn't even close to being over. Weintraub’s a German. Carlyle was pro-German—I remember that much from college. I think your friend Mifflin is pro-German too. I've heard some of the things he says!"

Titania faced him with cheeks aflame.

Titania confronted him, her cheeks flushed.

"That'll do for you!" she cried. "Next thing I suppose you'll say Daddy's pro-German, and me, too! I'd like to see you say that to Mr. Mifflin himself."

"That'll do for you!" she exclaimed. "Next, I suppose you'll claim that Daddy's pro-German, and so am I! I’d like to see you say that to Mr. Mifflin himself."

"I will, don't worry," said Aubrey grimly. He knew now that he had put himself hopelessly in the wrong in Titania's mind, but he refused to abate his own convictions. With sinking heart he saw her face relieved against the shelves of faded bindings. Her eyes shone with a deep and sultry blue, her chin quivered with anger.

"I will, don’t worry," Aubrey said grimly. He realized he had completely messed up in Titania's eyes, but he refused to back down from his beliefs. With a heavy heart, he saw her face illuminated against the shelves of old books. Her eyes sparkled with a deep, sultry blue, and her chin trembled with anger.

"Look here," she said furiously. "Either you or I must leave this place. If you intend to stay, please call me a taxi."

"Listen up," she said angrily. "Either you or I have to leave this place. If you plan to stick around, please call me a taxi."

Aubrey was as angry as she was.

Aubrey was just as angry as she was.

"I'm going," he said. "But you've got to play fair with me. I tell you on my oath, these two men, Mifflin and Weintraub, are framing something up. I'm going to get the goods on them and show you. But you mustn't put them wise that I'm on their track. If you do, of course, they'll call it off. I don't care what you think of me. You've got to promise me that."

"I'm leaving," he said. "But you need to be honest with me. I swear, these two guys, Mifflin and Weintraub, are up to something. I'm going to gather evidence on them and show you. But you can't let them know I'm onto them. If you do, they'll back out for sure. I don't care what you think of me. You need to promise me that."

"I won't promise you ANYTHING," she said, "except never to speak to you again. I never saw a man like you before—and I've seen a good many."

"I won't promise you ANYTHING," she said, "except that I'll never talk to you again. I've never met a guy like you before—and I've met quite a few."

"I won't leave here until you promise me not to warn them," he retorted. "What I told you, I said in confidence. They've already found out where I'm lodging. Do you think this is a joke? They've tried to put me out of the way twice. If you breathe a word of this to Mifflin he'll warn the other two."

"I won't leave until you promise me you won't warn them," he shot back. "What I told you was said in confidence. They've already discovered where I'm staying. Do you think this is a joke? They've tried to get rid of me twice. If you say anything to Mifflin, he'll alert the other two."

"You're afraid to have Mr. Mifflin know you broke into his shop," she taunted.

"You're worried about Mr. Mifflin finding out you broke into his shop," she mocked.

"You can think what you like."

"You can think whatever you want."

"I won't promise you anything!" she burst out. Then her face altered. The defiant little line of her mouth bent and her strength seemed to run out at each end of that pathetic curve. "Yes, I will," she said. "I suppose that's fair. I couldn't tell Mr. Mifflin, anyway. I'd be ashamed to tell him how you frightened me. I think you're hateful. I came over here thinking I was going to have such a good time, and you've spoilt it all!"

"I won't promise you anything!" she exclaimed. Then her expression changed. The stubborn little line of her mouth curved downward, and her strength seemed to fade away at each end of that sad expression. "Actually, I will," she said. "I guess that's fair. I couldn't tell Mr. Mifflin anyway. I’d be embarrassed to say how scared you made me. I think you're awful. I came over here thinking I was going to have a great time, and you've ruined it all!"

For one terrible moment he thought she was going to cry. But he remembered having seen heroines cry in the movies, and knew it was only done when there was a table and chair handy.

For a split second, he thought she was about to cry. But then he recalled seeing heroines cry in movies, and he realized it only happened when there was a table and chair nearby.

"Miss Chapman," he said, "I'm as sorry as a man can be. But I swear I did what I did in all honesty. If I'm wrong in this, you need never speak to me again. If I'm wrong, you—you can tell your father to take his advertising away from the Grey-Matter Company. I can't say more than that."

"Miss Chapman," he said, "I'm as sorry as anyone can be. But I promise I acted in good faith. If I’m mistaken about this, you never have to speak to me again. If I'm wrong, you—you can tell your dad to pull his advertising from the Grey-Matter Company. I can’t say more than that."

And, to do him justice, he couldn't. It was the supreme sacrifice.

And, to be fair to him, he couldn't. It was the ultimate sacrifice.

She let him out of the front door without another word.

She opened the front door for him without saying anything else.




Chapter XII

Aubrey Determines to give Service that's Different

Seldom has a young man spent a more desolate afternoon than Aubrey on that Sunday. His only consolation was that twenty minutes after he had left the bookshop he saw a taxi drive up (he was then sitting gloomily at his bedroom window) and Titania enter it and drive away. He supposed that she had gone to join the party in Larchmont, and was glad to know that she was out of what he now called the war zone. For the first time on record, O. Henry failed to solace him. His pipe tasted bitter and brackish. He was eager to know what Weintraub was doing, but did not dare make any investigations in broad daylight. His idea was to wait until dark. Observing the Sabbath calm of the streets, and the pageant of baby carriages wheeling toward Thackeray Boulevard, he wondered again whether he had thrown away this girl's friendship for a merely imaginary suspicion.

Seldom has a young man spent a more desolate afternoon than Aubrey on that Sunday. His only comfort was that twenty minutes after he left the bookstore, he saw a taxi pull up (he was then sitting gloomily at his bedroom window) and Titania get in and drive away. He figured she had gone to join the party in Larchmont and was relieved to know she was out of what he now called the war zone. For the first time ever, O. Henry failed to cheer him up. His pipe tasted bitter and unpleasant. He was curious about what Weintraub was up to but didn’t dare make any inquiries in broad daylight. He planned to wait until it got dark. Watching the quiet streets and the parade of baby carriages heading toward Thackeray Boulevard, he wondered again if he had thrown away this girl's friendship over a possibly imagined suspicion.

At last he could endure his cramped bedroom no longer. Downstairs someone was dolefully playing a flute, most horrible of all tortures to tightened nerves. While her lodgers were at church the tireless Mrs. Schiller was doing a little housecleaning: he could hear the monotonous rasp of a carpet-sweeper passing back and forth in an adjoining room. He creaked irritably downstairs, and heard the usual splashing behind the bathroom door. In the frame of the hall mirror he saw a pencilled note: Will Mrs. Smith please call Tarkington 1565, it said. Unreasonably annoyed, he tore a piece of paper out of his notebook and wrote on it Will Mrs. Smith please call Bath 4200. Mounting to the second floor he tapped on the bathroom door. "Don't come in!" cried an agitated female voice. He thrust the memorandum under the door, and left the house.

At last, he couldn't stand his cramped bedroom any longer. Downstairs, someone was sadly playing a flute, which was the most torturous thing for his frayed nerves. While her lodgers were at church, the tireless Mrs. Schiller was doing some housecleaning: he could hear the dull sound of a carpet sweeper moving back and forth in the next room. He irritably creaked his way downstairs and heard the usual splashing behind the bathroom door. In the hall mirror, he saw a note written in pencil: "Will Mrs. Smith please call Tarkington 1565," it said. Unreasonably annoyed, he tore a piece of paper from his notebook and wrote, "Will Mrs. Smith please call Bath 4200." Going up to the second floor, he tapped on the bathroom door. "Don't come in!" an agitated female voice shouted. He slid the note under the door and left the house.

Walking the windy paths of Prospect Park he condemned himself to relentless self-scrutiny. "I've damned myself forever with her," he groaned, "unless I can prove something." The vision of Titania's face silhouetted against the shelves of books came maddeningly to his mind. "I was going to have such a good time, and you've spoilt it all!" With what angry conviction she had said: "I never saw a man like you before—and I've seen a good many!"

Walking the windy paths of Prospect Park, he subjected himself to constant self-reflection. "I've cursed myself forever with her," he groaned, "unless I can prove something." The image of Titania's face outlined against the bookshelves kept popping into his mind. "I was going to have such a good time, and you've ruined it all!" With what fierce certainty she had said: "I've never met a man like you before—and I've met plenty!"

Even in his disturbance of soul the familiar jargon of his profession came naturally to utterance. "At least she admits I'm DIFFERENT," he said dolefully. He remembered the first item in the Grey-Matter Code, a neat little booklet issued by his employers for the information of their representatives:

Even in his troubled state, the usual lingo of his job came out naturally. "At least she admits I'm DIFFERENT," he said sadly. He recalled the first point in the Grey-Matter Code, a handy little booklet given out by his employers for the guidance of their representatives:


Business is built upon CONFIDENCE. Before you can sell Grey-Matter Service to a Client, you must sell YOURSELF.

Business is based on CONFIDENCE. Before you can sell Grey-Matter Service to a Client, you have to sell YOURSELF.


"How am I going to sell myself to her?" he wondered. "I've simply got to deliver, that's all. I've got to give her service that's DIFFERENT. If I fall down on this, she'll never speak to me again. Not only that, the firm will lose the old man's account. It's simply unthinkable."

"How am I going to impress her?" he thought. "I just need to perform, that's it. I have to provide her with service that's UNIQUE. If I mess this up, she'll never talk to me again. Plus, the company will lose the old man's account. That's just not an option."

Nevertheless, he thought about it a good deal, stimulated from time to time as in the course of his walk (which led him out toward the faubourgs of Flatbush) he passed long vistas of signboards, which he imagined placarded with vivid lithographs in behalf of the Chapman prunes. "Adam and Eve Ate Prunes On Their Honeymoon" was a slogan that flashed into his head, and he imagined a magnificent painting illustrating this text. Thus, in hours of stress, do all men turn for comfort to their chosen art. The poet, battered by fate, heals himself in the niceties of rhyme. The prohibitionist can weather the blackest melancholia by meditating the contortions of other people's abstinence. The most embittered citizen of Detroit will never perish by his own hand while he has an automobile to tinker.

Nevertheless, he thought about it a lot, occasionally inspired as he walked (which took him toward the outskirts of Flatbush) past long stretches of signboards, which he imagined covered with colorful advertisements for the Chapman prunes. "Adam and Eve Ate Prunes On Their Honeymoon" was a catchy slogan that popped into his mind, and he pictured a stunning painting depicting this phrase. So, in difficult times, everyone finds solace in their favorite art. The poet, battered by life, finds healing in the beauty of rhyme. The prohibitionist can endure the darkest sadness by contemplating the struggles of others' sobriety. The most frustrated citizen of Detroit will never take their own life as long as they have a car to work on.

Aubrey walked many miles, gradually throwing his despair to the winds. The bright spirits of Orison Swett Marden and Ralph Waldo Trine, Dioscuri of Good Cheer, seemed to be with him reminding him that nothing is impossible. In a small restaurant he found sausages, griddle cakes and syrup. When he got back to Gissing Street it was dark, and he girded his soul for further endeavour.

Aubrey walked for miles, slowly letting go of his despair. The uplifting spirits of Orison Swett Marden and Ralph Waldo Trine, like twin protectors of positivity, seemed to accompany him, reminding him that nothing is impossible. In a small restaurant, he found sausages, pancakes, and syrup. By the time he returned to Gissing Street, it was dark, and he prepared himself for more challenges.

About nine o'clock he walked up the alley. He had left his overcoat in his room at Mrs. Schiller's and also the Cromwell bookcover—having taken the precaution, however, to copy the inscriptions into his pocket memorandum-book. He noticed lights in the rear of the bookshop, and concluded that the Mifflins and their employee had got home safely. Arrived at the back of Weintraub's pharmacy, he studied the contours of the building carefully.

About nine o'clock, he walked up the alley. He had left his overcoat in his room at Mrs. Schiller's, along with the Cromwell book cover—though he had taken the precaution of copying the inscriptions into his pocket notebook. He noticed lights at the back of the bookstore and figured that the Mifflins and their employee had made it home safely. When he reached the back of Weintraub's pharmacy, he closely examined the outline of the building.

The drug store lay, as we have explained before, at the corner of Gissing Street and Wordsworth Avenue, just where the Elevated railway swings in a long curve. The course of this curve brought the scaffolding of the viaduct out over the back roof of the building, and this fact had impressed itself on Aubrey's observant eye the day before. The front of the drug store stood three storeys, but in the rear it dropped to two, with a flat roof over the hinder portion. Two windows looked out upon this roof. Weintraub's back yard opened onto the alley, but the gate, he found, was locked. The fence would not be hard to scale, but he hesitated to make so direct an approach.

The drugstore was, as we mentioned earlier, at the corner of Gissing Street and Wordsworth Avenue, right where the Elevated train makes a long curve. This curve extended the scaffolding of the viaduct over the back roof of the building, and Aubrey had noticed this detail the day before. The front of the drugstore had three stories, but in the back, it dropped to two, with a flat roof over the back section. Two windows faced this roof. Weintraub's backyard opened onto the alley, but he found the gate was locked. The fence wouldn’t be hard to climb, but he hesitated to take such a direct route.

He ascended the stairs of the "L" station, on the near side, and paying a nickel passed through a turnstile onto the platform. Waiting until just after a train had left, and the long, windy sweep of planking was solitary, he dropped onto the narrow footway that runs beside the track. This required watchful walking, for the charged third rail was very near, but hugging the outer side of the path he proceeded without trouble. Every fifteen feet or so a girder ran sideways from the track, resting upon an upright from the street below. The fourth of these overhung the back corner of Weintraub's house, and he crawled cautiously along it. People were passing on the pavement underneath, and he greatly feared being discovered. But he reached the end of the beam without mishap. From here a drop of about twelve feet would bring him onto Weintraub's back roof. For a moment he reflected that, once down there, it would be impossible to return the same way. However, he decided to risk it. Where he was, with his legs swinging astride the girder, he was in serious danger of attracting attention.

He climbed the stairs of the "L" station on the near side, and after paying a nickel, he passed through a turnstile onto the platform. Waiting until just after a train had left, and the long, windy stretch of planking was empty, he dropped down onto the narrow walkway next to the track. This required careful walking since the electrified third rail was very close, but sticking to the outer side of the path, he moved ahead without any issues. About every fifteen feet, a beam extended sideways from the track, supported by a post from the street below. The fourth of these beams overhung the back corner of Weintraub's house, and he crawled carefully along it. People were walking on the pavement below, and he was really worried about being seen. But he reached the end of the beam without any problems. From there, a drop of about twelve feet would land him on Weintraub's back roof. For a moment, he thought about how, once down there, it would be impossible to get back the same way. However, he decided to take the risk. Where he was, with his legs dangling over the beam, he was in serious danger of drawing attention.

He would have given a great deal, just then, to have his overcoat with him, for by lowering it first he could have jumped onto it and muffled the noise of his fall. He took off his coat and carefully dropped it on the corner of the roof. Then cannily waiting until a train passed overhead, drowning all other sounds with its roar, he lowered himself as far as he could hang by his hands, and let go.

He would have given a lot right then to have his overcoat with him because by dropping it first, he could have jumped onto it and muffled the sound of his fall. He took off his coat and carefully laid it on the corner of the roof. Then, cleverly waiting until a train passed overhead, drowning out all other noises with its roar, he lowered himself as far as he could hang by his hands and let go.

For some minutes he lay prone on the tin roof, and during that time a number of distressing ideas occurred to him. If he really expected to get into Weintraub's house, why had he not laid his plans more carefully? Why (for instance) had he not made some attempt to find out how many there were in the household? Why had he not arranged with one of his friends to call Weintraub to the telephone at a given moment, so that he could be more sure of making an entry unnoticed? And what did he expect to see or do if he got inside the house? He found no answer to any of these questions.

For a few minutes, he lay flat on the tin roof, and during that time, a lot of troubling thoughts crossed his mind. If he really thought he could get into Weintraub's house, why hadn't he planned more carefully? Why, for example, hadn't he tried to find out how many people lived there? Why hadn't he arranged for one of his friends to call Weintraub at a specific time, so he could be more certain of sneaking in unnoticed? And what did he expect to see or do once he got inside the house? He couldn't come up with answers to any of these questions.

It was unpleasantly cold, and he was glad to slip his coat on again. The small revolver was still in his hip pocket. Another thought occurred to him—that he should have provided himself with tennis shoes. However, it was some comfort to know that rubber heels of a nationally advertised brand were under him. He crawled quietly up to the sill of one of the windows. It was closed, and the room inside was dark. A blind was pulled most of the way down, leaving a gap of about four inches. Peeping cautiously over the sill, he could see farther inside the house a brightly lit door and a passageway.

It was uncomfortably cold, and he was happy to put his coat back on. The small revolver was still in his hip pocket. Another thought crossed his mind—that he should have packed tennis shoes. However, it was somewhat reassuring to know that he had a pair of rubber-soled shoes from a well-known brand. He quietly crawled up to the sill of one of the windows. It was closed, and the room inside was dark. A blind was pulled down almost all the way, leaving a gap of about four inches. Peeking carefully over the sill, he could see further inside the house a brightly lit door and a hallway.

"One thing I've got to look out for," he thought, "is children. There are bound to be some—who ever heard of a German without offspring? If I wake them, they'll bawl. This room is very likely a nursery, as it's on the southeastern side. Also, the window is shut tight, which is probably the German idea of bedroom ventilation."

"One thing I need to watch out for," he thought, "is kids. There are definitely going to be some—who ever heard of a German without kids? If I wake them, they'll cry. This room is probably a nursery, since it’s on the southeastern side. Plus, the window is shut tight, which is probably the German idea of bedroom ventilation."

His guess may not have been a bad one, for after his eyes became accustomed to the dimness of the room he thought he could perceive two cot beds. He then crawled over to the other window. Here the blind was pulled down flush with the bottom of the sash. Trying the window very cautiously, he found it locked. Not knowing just what to do, he returned to the first window, and lay there peering in. The sill was just high enough above the roof level to make it necessary to raise himself a little on his hands to see inside, and the position was very trying. Moreover, the tin roof had a tendency to crumple noisily when he moved. He lay for some time, shivering in the chill, and wondering whether it would be safe to light a pipe.

His guess might not have been too far off, because after his eyes got used to the dim light in the room, he thought he could see two cot beds. He then crawled over to the other window. Here, the blind was pulled down all the way to the bottom of the sash. Gently trying the window, he found it locked. Unsure of what to do next, he went back to the first window and lay there peeking in. The sill was just high enough above the roof that he had to lift himself a bit on his hands to see inside, which was pretty uncomfortable. Plus, the tin roof made a lot of noise whenever he moved. He lay there for a while, shivering in the cold and wondering if it would be safe to light a pipe.

"There's another thing I'd better look out for," he thought, "and that's a dog. Who ever heard of a German without a dachshund?"

"There's something else I need to watch out for," he thought, "and that's a dog. Who ever heard of a German without a dachshund?"

He had watched the lighted doorway for a long while without seeing anything, and was beginning to think he was losing time to no profit when a stout and not ill-natured looking woman appeared in the hallway. She came into the room he was studying, and closed the door. She switched on the light, and to his horror began to disrobe. This was not what he had counted on at all, and he retreated rapidly. It was plain that nothing was to be gained where he was. He sat timidly at one edge of the roof and wondered what to do next.

He had been watching the lit doorway for a long time without seeing anything and was starting to think he was wasting his time when a plump, not unfriendly-looking woman appeared in the hallway. She came into the room he was observing and shut the door. She turned on the light, and to his shock, began to undress. This was not what he had expected at all, so he quickly backed away. It was clear that he wasn’t going to gain anything where he was. He sat nervously at one edge of the roof and wondered what to do next.

As he sat there, the back door opened almost directly below him, and he heard the clang of a garbage can set out by the stoop. The door stood open for perhaps half a minute, and he heard a male voice—Weintraub's, he thought—speaking in German. For the first time in his life he yearned for the society of his German instructor at college, and also wondered—in the rapid irrelevance of thought—what that worthy man was now doing to earn a living. In a rather long and poorly lubricated sentence, heavily verbed at the end, he distinguished one phrase that seemed important. "Nach Philadelphia gehen"—"Go to Philadelphia."

As he sat there, the back door opened almost directly below him, and he heard the clang of a garbage can being set out by the step. The door stayed open for about half a minute, and he heard a male voice—he thought it was Weintraub's—speaking in German. For the first time in his life, he longed for the company of his German instructor from college and also wondered—in the quick shuffle of thoughts—what that good man was doing to make a living now. In a pretty long and awkwardly phrased sentence with a lot of action at the end, he caught one phrase that seemed significant. "Nach Philadelphia gehen"—"Go to Philadelphia."

Did that refer to Mifflin? he wondered.

Did that refer to Mifflin? he thought.

The door closed again. Leaning over the rain-gutter, he saw the light go out in the kitchen. He tried to look through the upper portion of the window just below him, but leaning out too far, the tin spout gave beneath his hands. Without knowing just how he did it, he slithered down the side of the wall, and found his feet on a window-sill. His hands still clung to the tin gutter above. He made haste to climb down from his position, and found himself outside the back door. He had managed the descent rather more quietly than if it had been carefully planned. But he was badly startled, and retreated to the bottom of the yard to see if he had aroused notice.

The door shut again. Leaning over the rain-gutter, he saw the light go out in the kitchen. He tried to peek through the upper part of the window just below him, but leaning out too far caused the tin spout to bend under his grip. Somehow, he ended up sliding down the side of the wall and found his feet on a window sill. His hands still held onto the tin gutter above. He quickly climbed down from his spot and found himself outside the back door. He had made the descent much more quietly than if he had planned it out carefully. But he was definitely startled and backed away to the bottom of the yard to check if he had drawn any attention.

A wait of several minutes brought no alarm, and he plucked up courage. On the inner side of the house—away from Wordsworth Avenue—a narrow paved passage led to an outside cellar-way with old-fashioned slanting doors. He reconnoitred this warily. A bright light was shining from a window in this alley. He crept below it on hands and knees fearing to look in until he had investigated a little. He found that one flap of the cellar door was open, and poked his nose into the aperture. All was dark below, but a strong, damp stench of paints and chemicals arose. He sniffed gingerly. "I suppose he stores drugs down there," he thought.

A few minutes of waiting raised no alarm, and he gathered his courage. On the inside of the house—away from Wordsworth Avenue—a narrow paved path led to an outside cellar entrance with old-fashioned slanted doors. He cautiously checked it out. A bright light was shining from a window in this alley. He crept underneath it on his hands and knees, afraid to look in until he had done a little investigating. He noticed that one flap of the cellar door was open and poked his nose into the gap. It was dark below, but a strong, damp smell of paints and chemicals wafted up. He sniffed cautiously. "I guess he stores drugs down there," he thought.

Very carefully he crawled back, on hands and knees, toward the lighted window. Lifting his head a few inches at a time, finally he got his eyes above the level of the sill. To his disappointment he found the lower half of the window frosted. As he knelt there, a pipe set in the wall suddenly vomited liquid which gushed out upon his knees. He sniffed it, and again smelled a strong aroma of acids. With great care, leaning against the brick wall of the house, he rose to his feet and peeped through the upper half of the pane.

Very carefully, he crawled back on his hands and knees toward the lighted window. Lifting his head a little at a time, he finally got his eyes above the level of the sill. To his disappointment, he found the lower half of the window frosted. As he knelt there, a pipe set in the wall suddenly spewed liquid that gushed out onto his knees. He sniffed it and detected a strong smell of acids. With great caution, leaning against the brick wall of the house, he got to his feet and peeked through the upper half of the pane.

It seemed to be the room where prescriptions were compounded. As it was empty, he allowed himself a hasty survey. All manner of bottles were ranged along the walls; there was a high counter with scales, a desk, and a sink. At the back he could see the bamboo curtain which he remembered having noticed from the shop. The whole place was in the utmost disorder: mortars, glass beakers, a typewriter, cabinets of labels, dusty piles of old prescriptions strung on filing hooks, papers of pills and capsules, all strewn in an indescribable litter. Some infusion was heating in a glass bowl propped on a tripod over a blue gas flame. Aubrey noticed particularly a heap of old books several feet high piled carelessly at one end of the counter.

It looked like the room where prescriptions were mixed. Since it was empty, he quickly took a look around. Various bottles lined the walls; there was a tall counter with scales, a desk, and a sink. In the back, he could see the bamboo curtain he remembered spotting from the shop. The entire place was a complete mess: mortars, glass beakers, a typewriter, cabinets filled with labels, dusty stacks of old prescriptions hanging on filing hooks, papers with pills and capsules, all scattered in an indescribable jumble. Some infusion was heating up in a glass bowl balanced on a tripod over a blue gas flame. Aubrey particularly noticed a pile of old books several feet high haphazardly stacked at one end of the counter.

Looking more carefully, he saw that what he had taken for a mirror over the prescription counter was an aperture looking into the shop. Through this he could see Weintraub, behind the cigar case, waiting upon some belated customer with his shop-worn air of affability. The visitor departed, and Weintraub locked the door after him and pulled down the blinds. Then he returned toward the prescription room, and Aubrey ducked out of view.

Looking more closely, he realized that what he had thought was a mirror over the prescription counter was actually an opening into the shop. Through it, he could see Weintraub, behind the cigar display, serving a late customer with his familiar, worn-out friendliness. The customer left, and Weintraub locked the door behind him and pulled down the blinds. Then he went back toward the prescription room, and Aubrey quickly ducked out of sight.

Presently he risked looking again, and was just in time to see a curious sight. The druggist was bending over the counter, pouring some liquid into a glass vessel. His face was directly under a hanging bulb, and Aubrey was amazed at the transformation. The apparently genial apothecary of cigar stand and soda fountain was gone. He saw instead a heavy, cruel, jowlish face, with eyelids hooded down over the eyes, and a square thrusting chin buttressed on a mass of jaw and suetty cheek that glistened with an oily shimmer. The jaw quivered a little as though with some intense suppressed emotion. The man was completely absorbed in his task. The thick lower lip lapped upward over the mouth. On the cheekbone was a deep red scar. Aubrey felt a pang of fascinated amazement at the gross energy and power of that abominable relentless mask.

Right now, he took the risk of looking again and caught a glimpse of something unusual. The pharmacist was leaning over the counter, pouring liquid into a glass container. His face was directly underneath a hanging light bulb, and Aubrey was shocked by the change. The seemingly friendly druggist of the cigar stand and soda fountain had vanished. Instead, he saw a heavy, cruel-looking face, with eyelids drooping over the eyes and a square chin supported by a thick jaw and greasy cheek that shone with a slick sheen. The man's jaw trembled slightly, as if he were holding back intense emotion. He was completely focused on what he was doing. His thick lower lip curled up over his mouth. There was a deep red scar on his cheekbone. Aubrey felt a jolt of fascinated amazement at the raw energy and power of that grotesque, relentless face.

"So this is the harmless old thing!" he thought.

"So this is the harmless old thing!" he thought.

Just then the bamboo curtain parted, and the woman whom he had seen upstairs appeared. Forgetting his own situation, Aubrey still stared. She wore a faded dressing gown and her hair was braided as though for the night. She looked frightened, and must have spoken, for Aubrey saw her lips move. The man remained bent over his counter until the last drops of liquid had run out. His jaw tightened, he straightened suddenly and took one step toward her, with outstretched hand imperiously pointed. Aubrey could see his face plainly: it had a savagery more than bestial. The woman's face, which had borne a timid, pleading expression, appealed in vain against that fierce gesture. She turned and vanished. Aubrey saw the druggist's pointing finger tremble. Again he ducked out of sight. "That man's face would be lonely in a crowd," he said to himself. "And I used to think the movies exaggerated things. Say, he ought to play opposite Theda Bara."

Just then, the bamboo curtain parted, and the woman he had seen upstairs appeared. Forgetting his own situation, Aubrey stared. She wore a faded robe, and her hair was braided as if it were for the night. She looked scared, and she must have spoken because Aubrey saw her lips move. The man stayed bent over his counter until the last drops of liquid had run out. His jaw tightened, he suddenly straightened up, and took a step toward her, his outstretched hand pointed imperiously. Aubrey could see his face clearly: it had a savagery more intense than mere animalistic. The woman's face, which had shown a timid, pleading look, was helpless against that fierce gesture. She turned and disappeared. Aubrey noticed the druggist's pointing finger tremble. He ducked out of sight again. "That man's face would be lonely in a crowd," he thought to himself. "And I used to think movies exaggerated things. He should star opposite Theda Bara."

He lay at full length in the paved alley and thought that a little acquaintance with Weintraub would go a long way. Then the light in the window above him went out, and he gathered himself together for quick motion if necessary. Perhaps the man would come out to close the cellar door——

He lay stretched out in the paved alley and thought that getting to know Weintraub a bit would be helpful. Then the light in the window above him went out, and he prepared to move quickly if needed. Maybe the man would come out to shut the cellar door——

The thought was in his mind when a light flashed on farther down the passage, between him and the kitchen. It came from a small barred window on the ground level. Evidently the druggist had gone down into the cellar. Aubrey crawled silently along toward the yard. Reaching the lit pane he lay against the wall and looked in.

The thought was on his mind when a light suddenly flashed further down the hallway, between him and the kitchen. It came from a small barred window at ground level. Clearly, the pharmacist had gone down into the cellar. Aubrey crawled quietly toward the yard. When he reached the illuminated window, he pressed against the wall and peered inside.

The window was too grimed for him to see clearly, but what he could make out had the appearance of a chemical laboratory and machine shop combined. A long work bench was lit by several electrics. On it he saw glass vials of odd shapes, and a medley of tools. Sheets of tin, lengths of lead pipe, gas burners, a vise, boilers and cylinders, tall jars of coloured fluids. He could hear a dull humming sound, which he surmised came from some sort of revolving tool which he could see was run by a belt from a motor. On trying to spy more clearly he found that what he had taken for dirt was a coat of whitewash which had been applied to the window on the inside, but the coating had worn away in one spot which gave him a loophole. What surprised him most was to spy the covers of a number of books strewn about the work table. One, he was ready to swear, was the Cromwell. He knew that bright blue cloth by this time.

The window was too dirty for him to see clearly, but what he could make out looked like a mix between a chemistry lab and a workshop. A long workbench was lit by several electric lights. On it, he saw glass vials of strange shapes and a variety of tools. There were sheets of tin, lengths of lead pipe, gas burners, a vise, boilers and cylinders, and tall jars filled with colored liquids. He could hear a faint humming sound, which he guessed came from some kind of rotating tool he could see was powered by a belt from a motor. As he tried to look more closely, he realized that what he thought was dirt was actually a layer of whitewash that had been applied to the inside of the window, but the coating had worn away in one spot, giving him a small view. What surprised him the most was spotting the covers of several books scattered across the worktable. One, he could have sworn, was the Cromwell. He recognized that bright blue cloth by now.

For the second time that evening Aubrey wished for the presence of one of his former instructors. "I wish I had my old chemistry professor here," he thought. "I'd like to know what this bird is up to. I'd hate to swallow one of his prescriptions."

For the second time that evening, Aubrey wished for one of his old teachers to be there. "I wish my former chemistry professor was here," he thought. "I’d really like to know what this guy is up to. I’d hate to take one of his prescriptions."

His teeth were chattering after the long exposure and he was wet through from lying in the little gutter that apparently drained off from the sink in Weintraub's prescription laboratory. He could not see what the druggist was doing in the cellar, for the man's broad back was turned toward him. He felt as though he had had quite enough thrills for one evening. Creeping along he found his way back to the yard, and stepped cautiously among the empty boxes with which it was strewn. An elevated train rumbled overhead, and he watched the brightly lighted cars swing by. While the train roared above him, he scrambled up the fence and dropped down into the alley.

His teeth were chattering after being out in the cold for so long, and he was soaked from lying in the small gutter that seemed to drain from the sink in Weintraub's pharmacy. He couldn't see what the pharmacist was doing in the basement because the guy's broad back was to him. He felt like he had had enough excitement for one night. Slowly making his way back to the yard, he carefully stepped among the empty boxes scattered around. An elevated train rumbled above him, and he watched the brightly lit cars pass by. As the train roared overhead, he climbed up the fence and dropped down into the alley.

"Well," he thought, "I'd give full-page space, preferred position, in the magazine Ben Franklin founded to the guy that'd tell me what's going on at this grand bolshevik headquarters. It looks to me as though they're getting ready to blow the Octagon Hotel off the map."

"Well," he thought, "I’d give a full-page ad, top spot, in the magazine Ben Franklin started to whoever can tell me what’s happening at this huge Bolshevik headquarters. It seems like they’re about to blow the Octagon Hotel off the map."

He found a little confectionery shop on Wordsworth Avenue that was still open, and went in for a cup of hot chocolate to warm himself. "The expense account on this business is going to be rather heavy," he said to himself. "I think I'll have to charge it up to the Daintybits account. Say, old Grey Matter gives service that's DIFFERENT, don't she! We not only keep Chapman's goods in the public eye, but we face all the horrors of Brooklyn to preserve his family from unlawful occasions. No, I don't like the company that bookseller runs with. If 'nach Philadelphia' is the word, I think I'll tag along. I guess it's off for Philadelphia in the morning!"

He found a small candy shop on Wordsworth Avenue that was still open and went in for a cup of hot chocolate to warm up. “This expense report for work is going to be pretty steep,” he thought to himself. “I should probably put it on the Daintybits account. You know, old Grey Matter offers service that’s DIFFERENT, doesn’t she? We not only keep Chapman's products in the spotlight, but we also deal with all the challenges of Brooklyn to keep his family safe from trouble. No, I’m not a fan of the company that bookseller hangs out with. If ‘heading to Philadelphia’ is the plan, I think I’ll go along. I guess it's off to Philadelphia in the morning!”




Chapter XIII

The Battle of Ludlow Street

Rarely was a more genuine tribute paid to entrancing girlhood than when Aubrey compelled himself, by sheer force of will and the ticking of his subconscious time-sense, to wake at six o'clock the next morning. For this young man took sleep seriously and with a primitive zest. It was to him almost a religious function. As a minor poet has said, he "made sleep a career."

Rarely was a more genuine tribute paid to captivating girlhood than when Aubrey forced himself, using sheer willpower and his subconscious sense of time, to wake up at six o'clock the next morning. This young man took sleep seriously and with a primal enthusiasm. For him, it was almost a spiritual experience. As a minor poet once said, he "made sleep a career."

But he did not know what train Roger might be taking, and he was determined not to miss him. By a quarter after six he was seated in the Milwaukee Lunch (which is never closed—Open from Now Till the Judgment Day. Tables for Ladies, as its sign says) with a cup of coffee and corned beef hash. In the mood of tender melancholy common to unaccustomed early rising he dwelt fondly on the thought of Titania, so near and yet so far away. He had leisure to give free rein to these musings, for it was ten past seven before Roger appeared, hurrying toward the subway. Aubrey followed at a discreet distance, taking care not to be observed.

But he didn’t know what train Roger might be taking, and he was determined not to miss him. By a quarter after six, he was seated in the Milwaukee Lunch (which is never closed—Open from Now Till the Judgment Day. Tables for Ladies, as its sign says) with a cup of coffee and corned beef hash. Feeling the tender melancholy that comes with getting up early, he fondly thought about Titania, so close yet so far away. He had plenty of time to let these thoughts flow, as it was ten past seven before Roger showed up, hurrying toward the subway. Aubrey followed at a discreet distance, making sure not to be seen.

The bookseller and his pursuer both boarded the eight o'clock train at the Pennsylvania Station, but in very different moods. To Roger, this expedition was a frolic, pure and simple. He had been tied down to the bookshop so long that a day's excursion seemed too good to be true. He bought two cigars—an unusual luxury—and let the morning paper lie unheeded in his lap as the train drummed over the Hackensack marshes. He felt a good deal of pride in having been summoned to appraise the Oldham library. Mr. Oldham was a very distinguished collector, a wealthy Philadelphia merchant whose choice Johnson, Lamb, Keats, and Blake items were the envy of connoisseurs all over the world. Roger knew very well that there were many better-known dealers who would have jumped at the chance to examine the collection and pocket the appraiser's fee. The word that Roger had had by long distance telephone was that Mr. Oldham had decided to sell his collection, and before putting it to auction desired the advices of an expert as to the prices his items should command in the present state of the market. And as Roger was not particularly conversant with current events in the world of rare books and manuscripts, he spent most of the trip in turning over some annotated catalogues of recent sales which Mr. Chapman had lent him. "This invitation," he said to himself, "confirms what I have always said, that the artist, in any line of work, will eventually be recognized above the mere tradesman. Somehow or other Mr. Oldham has heard that I am not only a seller of old books but a lover of them. He prefers to have me go over his treasures with him, rather than one of those who peddle these things like so much tallow."

The bookseller and his pursuer both boarded the eight o'clock train at Pennsylvania Station, but they were in very different moods. For Roger, this trip was a fun escape, pure and simple. He had been stuck in the bookshop for so long that a day out felt almost unbelievable. He bought two cigars—an unusual treat—and let the morning paper sit ignored in his lap as the train rumbled over the Hackensack marshes. He felt a lot of pride in being asked to assess the Oldham library. Mr. Oldham was a highly respected collector, a wealthy merchant from Philadelphia whose prized items by Johnson, Lamb, Keats, and Blake were envied by collectors all around the world. Roger knew very well that there were many well-known dealers who would have jumped at the opportunity to check out the collection and take the appraiser's fee. The message he received by long-distance phone was that Mr. Oldham had decided to sell his collection and wanted an expert’s advice on what prices his items should fetch in the current market. Since Roger wasn’t particularly up-to-date with the latest in rare books and manuscripts, he spent most of the trip going through some annotated catalogs of recent sales that Mr. Chapman had lent him. "This invitation," he thought to himself, "proves what I’ve always said, that the artist, in any profession, will eventually be recognized above the mere tradesman. Somehow Mr. Oldham has heard that I’m not just a seller of old books, but a true lover of them. He prefers to have me review his treasures with him, instead of someone who just sells these items like they’re simple goods."

Aubrey's humour was far removed from that of the happy bookseller. In the first place, Roger was sitting in the smoker, and as Aubrey feared to enter the same car for fear of being observed, he had to do without his pipe. He took the foremost seat in the second coach, and peering occasionally through the glass doors he could see the bald poll of his quarry wreathed with exhalements of cheap havana. Secondly, he had hoped to see Weintraub on the same train, but though he had tarried at the train-gate until the last moment, the German had not appeared. He had concluded from Weintraub's words the night before that druggist and bookseller were bound on a joint errand. Apparently he was mistaken. He bit his nails, glowered at the flying landscape, and revolved many grievous fancies in his prickling bosom. Among other discontents was the knowledge that he did not have enough money with him to pay his fare back to New York, and he would either have to borrow from someone in Philadelphia or wire to his office for funds. He had not anticipated, when setting out upon this series of adventures, that it would prove so costly.

Aubrey's sense of humor was nothing like that of the cheerful bookseller. For one, Roger was in the smoking car, and since Aubrey was too anxious to enter the same car for fear of being seen, he had to give up his pipe. He took the front seat in the second coach and occasionally peered through the glass doors, catching sight of the bald head of his target surrounded by clouds of cheap Havana smoke. Secondly, he had hoped to see Weintraub on the same train, but despite waiting at the train gate until the last minute, the German hadn’t shown up. He had inferred from Weintraub's words the night before that the druggist and the bookseller were on a joint mission. Apparently, he was wrong. He bit his nails, glared at the passing scenery, and wrestled with many troubling thoughts in his restless heart. Among his worries was the fact that he didn’t have enough money to pay for his fare back to New York, meaning he would have to either borrow from someone in Philadelphia or wire his office for funds. He hadn’t expected, when he set off on this series of adventures, that it would turn out to be so expensive.

The train drew into Broad Street station at ten o'clock, and Aubrey followed the bookseller through the bustling terminus and round the City Hall plaza. Mifflin seemed to know his way, but Philadelphia was comparatively strange to the Grey-Matter solicitor. He was quite surprised at the impressive vista of South Broad Street, and chagrined to find people jostling him on the crowded pavement as though they did not know he had just come from New York.

The train arrived at Broad Street station at ten o'clock, and Aubrey trailed the bookseller through the busy terminal and around the City Hall plaza. Mifflin appeared to know where he was going, but Philadelphia was relatively unfamiliar to the Grey-Matter solicitor. He was taken aback by the stunning view of South Broad Street and annoyed to feel people bumping into him on the crowded sidewalk as if they didn’t realize he had just come from New York.

Roger turned in at a huge office building on Broad Street and took an express elevator. Aubrey did not dare follow him into the car, so he waited in the lobby. He learned from the starter that there was a second tier of elevators on the other side of the building, so he tipped a boy a quarter to watch them for him, describing Mifflin so accurately that he could not be missed. By this time Aubrey was in a thoroughly ill temper, and enjoyed quarrelling with the starter on the subject of indicators for showing the position of the elevators. Observing that in this building the indicators were glass tubes in which the movement of the car was traced by a rising or falling column of coloured fluid, Aubrey remarked testily that that old-fashioned stunt had long been abandoned in New York. The starter retorted that New York was only two hours away if he liked it better. This argument helped to fleet the time rapidly.

Roger entered a huge office building on Broad Street and took an express elevator. Aubrey didn't dare follow him into the car, so he waited in the lobby. He learned from the attendant that there was a second set of elevators on the other side of the building, so he tipped a kid a quarter to keep an eye on them for him, describing Mifflin so well that he couldn’t be missed. By this point, Aubrey was in a really bad mood and enjoyed arguing with the attendant about the indicators showing the elevators' positions. Noticing that in this building the indicators were glass tubes where the movement of the car was shown by a rising or falling column of colored fluid, Aubrey complained irritably that that outdated method had been abandoned in New York a long time ago. The attendant shot back that New York was only two hours away if he liked it better. This argument helped pass the time quickly.

Meanwhile Roger, with the pleasurable sensation of one who expects to be received as a distinguished visitor from out of town, had entered the luxurious suite of Mr. Oldham. A young lady, rather too transparently shirtwaisted but fair to look upon, asked what she could do for him.

Meanwhile, Roger, feeling the excitement of someone who expects to be treated like an important guest from out of town, had entered the lavish suite of Mr. Oldham. A young woman, dressed in a somewhat see-through blouse but pleasant to look at, asked how she could assist him.

"I want to see Mr. Oldham."

"I want to see Mr. Oldham."

"What name shall I say?"

"What's your name?"

"Mr. Mifflin—Mr. Mifflin of Brooklyn."

"Mr. Mifflin—Mr. Mifflin from Brooklyn."

"Have you an appointment?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Yes."

"Yep."

Roger sat down with agreeable anticipation. He noticed the shining mahogany of the office furniture, the sparkling green jar of drinking water, the hushed and efficient activity of the young ladies. "Philadelphia girls are amazingly comely," he said to himself, "but none of these can hold a candle to Miss Titania."

Roger sat down with pleasant anticipation. He noticed the gleaming mahogany of the office furniture, the sparkling green water jug, and the quiet, efficient bustle of the young women. "Philadelphia girls are incredibly attractive," he thought to himself, "but none of them can compare to Miss Titania."

The young lady returned from the private office looking a little perplexed.

The young woman came back from the private office looking a bit confused.

"Did you have an appointment with Mr. Oldham?" she said. "He doesn't seem to recall it."

"Did you have a meeting with Mr. Oldham?" she asked. "He doesn’t seem to remember it."

"Why, certainly," said Roger. "It was arranged by telephone on Saturday afternoon. Mr. Oldham's secretary called me up."

"Of course," Roger said. "It was set up over the phone on Saturday afternoon. Mr. Oldham's secretary called me."

"Have I got your name right?" she asked, showing a slip on which she had written Mr. Miflin.

"Did I get your name right?" she asked, holding up a note where she had written Mr. Miflin.

"Two f's," said Roger. "Mr. Roger Mifflin, the bookseller."

"Two f's," said Roger. "Mr. Roger Mifflin, the bookseller."

The girl retired, and came back a moment later.

The girl left and came back a moment later.

"Mr. Oldham's very busy," she said, "but he can see you for a moment."

"Mr. Oldham is really busy," she said, "but he can see you for a moment."

Roger was ushered into the private office, a large, airy room lined with bookshelves. Mr. Oldham, a tall, thin man with short gray hair and lively black eyes, rose courteously from his desk.

Roger was brought into the private office, a spacious, bright room filled with bookshelves. Mr. Oldham, a tall, slender man with short gray hair and vibrant black eyes, stood up politely from his desk.

"How do you do, sir," he said. "I'm sorry, I had forgotten our appointment."

"How's it going, sir?" he said. "I apologize, I completely forgot about our meeting."

"He must be very absent minded," thought Roger. "Arranges to sell a collection worth half a million, and forgets all about it."

"He must be really forgetful," thought Roger. "He plans to sell a collection worth half a million and totally forgets about it."

"I came over in response to your message," he said. "About selling your collection."

"I came over because of your message," he said. "About selling your collection."

Mr. Oldham looked at him, rather intently, Roger thought.

Mr. Oldham looked at him quite intently, Roger thought.

"Do you want to buy it?" he said.

"Do you want to buy it?" he asked.

"To buy it?" said Roger, a little peevishly. "Why, no. I came over to appraise it for you. Your secretary telephoned me on Saturday."

"To buy it?" Roger asked, a bit annoyed. "No. I came over to evaluate it for you. Your secretary called me on Saturday."

"My dear sir," replied the other, "there must be some mistake. I have no intention of selling my collection. I never sent you a message."

"My dear sir," replied the other, "there must be some misunderstanding. I have no intention of selling my collection. I never sent you a message."

Roger was aghast.

Roger was shocked.

"Why," he exclaimed, "your secretary called me up on Saturday and said you particularly wanted me to come over this morning, to examine your books with you. I've made the trip from Brooklyn for that purpose."

"Why," he exclaimed, "your secretary called me on Saturday and said you really wanted me to come over this morning to go over your books with you. I came all the way from Brooklyn for that."

Mr. Oldham touched a buzzer, and a middle-aged woman came into the office. "Miss Patterson," he said, "did you telephone to Mr. Mifflin of Brooklyn on Saturday, asking him——"

Mr. Oldham pressed a buzzer, and a middle-aged woman walked into the office. "Miss Patterson," he said, "did you call Mr. Mifflin in Brooklyn on Saturday, asking him——"

"It was a man that telephoned," said Roger.

"It was a man who called," Roger said.

"I'm exceedingly sorry, Mr. Mifflin," said Mr. Oldham. "More sorry than I can tell you—I'm afraid someone has played a trick on you. As I told you, and Miss Patterson will bear me out, I have no idea of selling my books, and have never authorized any one even to suggest such a thing."

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Mifflin," Mr. Oldham said. "More sorry than I can express—I think someone has pulled a fast one on you. As I mentioned, and Miss Patterson can confirm, I have no intention of selling my books and have never given anyone permission to even hint at that."

Roger was filled with confusion and anger. A hoax on the part of some of the Corn Cob Club, he thought to himself. He flushed painfully to recall the simplicity of his glee.

Roger was overwhelmed with confusion and anger. A prank by some of the Corn Cob Club, he thought to himself. He felt a painful flush as he remembered how simple his happiness had been.

"Please don't be embarrassed," said Mr. Oldham, seeing the little man's vexation. "Don't let's consider the trip wasted. Won't you come out and dine with me in the country this evening, and see my things?"

"Please don't be embarrassed," Mr. Oldham said, noticing the little man's frustration. "Let's not think of the trip as wasted. Why don't you come out and have dinner with me in the countryside this evening and check out my things?"

But Roger was too proud to accept this balm, courteous as it was.

But Roger was too proud to accept this comfort, no matter how polite it was.

"I'm sorry," he said, "but I'm afraid I can't do it. I'm rather busy at home, and only came over because I believed this to be urgent."

"I'm sorry," he said, "but I don't think I can do it. I'm pretty busy at home and only came over because I thought this was urgent."

"Some other time, perhaps," said Mr. Oldham. "Look here, you're a bookseller? I don't believe I know your shop. Give me your card. The next time I'm in New York I'd like to stop in."

"Maybe another time," said Mr. Oldham. "By the way, you're a bookseller? I don't think I know your shop. Give me your card. The next time I'm in New York, I'd like to drop by."

Roger got away as quickly as the other's politeness would let him. He chafed savagely at the awkwardness of his position. Not until he reached the street again did he breathe freely.

Roger escaped as fast as the others' politeness allowed him. He felt intensely frustrated by the awkwardness of his situation. It wasn't until he was back on the street that he could breathe easily again.

"Some of Jerry Gladfist's tomfoolery, I'll bet a hat," he muttered. "By the bones of Fanny Kelly, I'll make him smart for it."

"Some of Jerry Gladfist's antics, I bet," he muttered. "By the bones of Fanny Kelly, I'll make him pay for it."

Even Aubrey, picking up the trail again, could see that Roger was angry.

Even Aubrey, picking up the trail again, could see that Roger was angry.

"Something's got his goat," he reflected. "I wonder what he's peeved about?"

"Something's bothering him," he thought. "I wonder what he's upset about?"

They crossed Broad Street and Roger started off down Chestnut. Aubrey saw the bookseller halt in a doorway to light his pipe, and stopped some yards behind him to look up at the statue of William Penn on the City Hall. It was a blustery day, and at that moment a gust of wind whipped off his hat and sent it spinning down Broad Street. He ran half a block before he recaptured it. When he got back to Chestnut, Roger had disappeared. He hurried down Chestnut Street, bumping pedestrians in his eagerness, but at Thirteenth he halted in dismay. Nowhere could he see a sign of the little bookseller. He appealed to the policeman at that corner, but learned nothing. Vainly he scoured the block and up and down Juniper Street. It was eleven o'clock, and the streets were thronged.

They crossed Broad Street, and Roger took off down Chestnut. Aubrey noticed the bookseller stop in a doorway to light his pipe, so he paused a few yards behind to look up at the statue of William Penn on City Hall. It was a windy day, and just then a gust of wind snatched his hat and sent it tumbling down Broad Street. He chased it for half a block before he finally caught it. When he returned to Chestnut, Roger was nowhere to be found. He hurried down Chestnut Street, bumping into pedestrians in his excitement, but when he got to Thirteenth, he stopped, feeling disheartened. He couldn’t see any sign of the little bookseller. He asked the policeman at the corner for help, but he didn’t find out anything useful. He searched the block and walked up and down Juniper Street in vain. It was eleven o'clock, and the streets were crowded.

He cursed the book business in both hemispheres, cursed himself, and cursed Philadelphia. Then he went into a tobacconist's and bought a packet of cigarettes.

He cursed the book industry in both hemispheres, cursed himself, and cursed Philadelphia. Then he went into a tobacco shop and bought a pack of cigarettes.

For an hour he patrolled up and down Chestnut Street, on both sides of the way, thinking he might possibly encounter Roger. At the end of this time he found himself in front of a newspaper office, and remembered that an old friend of his was an editorial writer on the staff. He entered, and went up in the elevator.

For an hour, he walked up and down Chestnut Street, on both sides of the road, hoping he might run into Roger. After this time, he found himself in front of a newspaper office and remembered that an old friend of his was an editorial writer on the staff. He went inside and took the elevator up.

He found his friend in a small grimy den, surrounded by a sea of papers, smoking a pipe with his feet on the table. They greeted each other joyfully.

He found his friend in a small messy room, surrounded by a pile of papers, smoking a pipe with his feet on the table. They greeted each other happily.

"Well, look who's here!" cried the facetious journalist. "Tamburlaine the Great, and none other! What brings you to this distant outpost?"

"Well, look who's here!" shouted the witty journalist. "Tamburlaine the Great, no less! What brings you to this remote spot?"

Aubrey grinned at the use of his old college nickname.

Aubrey smiled at the mention of his old college nickname.

"I've come to lunch with you, and borrow enough money to get home with."

"I've come to have lunch with you and to borrow enough money to get home."

"On Monday?" cried the other. "Tuesday being the day of stipend in these quarters? Nay, say not so!"

"On Monday?" exclaimed the other. "Isn't Tuesday the day we get paid around here? No way!"

They lunched together at a quiet Italian restaurant, and Aubrey narrated tersely the adventures of the past few days. The newspaper man smoked pensively when the story was concluded.

They had lunch together at a quiet Italian restaurant, and Aubrey briefly recounted the events of the past few days. The newspaper guy smoked thoughtfully after the story ended.

"I'd like to see the girl," he said. "Tambo, your tale hath the ring of sincerity. It is full of sound and fury, but it signifieth something. You say your man is a second-hand bookseller?"

"I'd like to see the girl," he said. "Tambo, your story sounds sincere. It's full of excitement, but it means something. You say your guy is a second-hand bookseller?"

"Yes."

Yes.

"Then I know where you'll find him."

"Then I know where to find him."

"Nonsense!"

"Nonsense!"

"It's worth trying. Go up to Leary's, 9 South Ninth. It's right on this street. I'll show you."

"It's worth a shot. Head over to Leary's at 9 South Ninth. It's right on this street. I'll show you."

"Let's go," said Aubrey promptly.

"Let's go," Aubrey said quickly.

"Not only that," said the other, "but I'll lend you my last V. Not for your sake, but on behalf of the girl. Just mention my name to her, will you?

"Not only that," said the other, "but I'll lend you my last five dollars. Not for you, but for the girl's sake. Just mention my name to her, okay?"

"Right up the block," he pointed as they reached Chestnut Street. "No, I won't come with you, Wilson's speaking to Congress to-day, and there's big stuff coming over the wire. So long, old man. Invite me to the wedding!"

"Just up the street," he pointed as they got to Chestnut Street. "No, I won't go with you; Wilson is speaking to Congress today, and there’s important news coming in. See you later, man. Invite me to the wedding!"

Aubrey had no idea what Leary's was, and rather expected it to be a tavern of some sort. When he reached the place, however, he saw why his friend had suggested it as a likely lurking ground for Roger. It would be as impossible for any bibliophile to pass this famous second-hand bookstore as for a woman to go by a wedding party without trying to see the bride. Although it was a bleak day, and a snell wind blew down the street, the pavement counters were lined with people turning over disordered piles of volumes. Within, he could see a vista of white shelves, and the many-coloured tapestry of bindings stretching far away to the rear of the building.

Aubrey had no idea what Leary's was and expected it to be some kind of tavern. However, when he arrived, he understood why his friend suggested it as a likely spot for Roger. It would be just as impossible for any book lover to walk past this famous second-hand bookstore as it would be for a woman to walk by a wedding party without trying to catch a glimpse of the bride. Even though it was a dreary day and a chilly wind was blowing down the street, people were lined up at the pavement counters, sifting through messy piles of books. Inside, he could see a row of white shelves and a vibrant display of colorful book spines stretching far into the back of the store.

He entered eagerly, and looked about. The shop was comfortably busy, with a number of people browsing. They seemed normal enough from behind, but in their eyes he detected the wild, peering glitter of the bibliomaniac. Here and there stood members of the staff. Upon their features Aubrey discerned the placid and philosophic tranquillity which he associated with second-hand booksellers—all save Mifflin.

He stepped inside with excitement and looked around. The shop was pleasantly busy, with several people browsing. They looked ordinary from behind, but in their eyes he noticed the wild, eager spark of the book-obsessed. Here and there, staff members were scattered about. On their faces, Aubrey saw the calm and thoughtful serenity he associated with second-hand booksellers—all except for Mifflin.

He paced through the narrow aisles, scanning the blissful throng of seekers. He went down to the educational department in the basement, up to the medical books in the gallery, even back to the sections of Drama and Pennsylvania History in the raised quarterdeck at the rear. There was no trace of Roger.

He walked through the narrow aisles, looking over the happy crowd of people searching for something. He went down to the educational department in the basement, up to the medical books in the upper level, and even back to the Drama and Pennsylvania History sections in the raised area at the back. There was no sign of Roger.

At a desk under the stairway he saw a lean, studious, and kindly-looking bibliosoph, who was poring over an immense catalogue. An idea struck him.

At a desk under the stairs, he saw a thin, serious, and friendly-looking book expert, who was deeply focused on a huge catalog. A thought crossed his mind.

"Have you a copy of Carlyle's Letters and Speeches of Oliver Cromwell?" he asked.

"Do you have a copy of Carlyle's Letters and Speeches of Oliver Cromwell?" he asked.

The other looked up.

The other person looked up.

"I'm afraid we haven't," he said. "Another gentleman was in here asking for it just a few minutes ago."

"I'm afraid we haven't," he said. "Another guy was in here asking for it just a few minutes ago."

"Good God!" cried Aubrey. "Did he get it?"

"Good God!" Aubrey exclaimed. "Did he get it?"

This emphasis brought no surprise to the bookseller, who was accustomed to the oddities of edition hunters.

This focus didn’t surprise the bookseller, who was used to the quirks of collectors.

"No," he said. "We didn't have a copy. We haven't seen one for a long time."

"No," he said. "We didn't have a copy. We haven't seen one in a long time."

"Was he a little bald man with a red beard and bright blue eyes?" asked Aubrey hoarsely.

"Was he a short, bald guy with a red beard and bright blue eyes?" Aubrey asked hoarsely.

"Yes—Mr. Mifflin of Brooklyn. Do you know him?"

"Yes—Mr. Mifflin from Brooklyn. Do you know him?"

"I should say I do!" cried Aubrey. "Where has he gone? I've been hunting him all over town, the scoundrel!"

"I should say I do!" shouted Aubrey. "Where has he gone? I've been looking for him all over town, that jerk!"

The bookseller, douce man, had seen too many eccentric customers to be shocked by the vehemence of his questioner.

The bookseller, a kind man, had seen too many unusual customers to be surprised by the intensity of his questioner.

"He was here a moment ago," he said gently, and gazed with a mild interest upon the excited young advertising man. "I daresay you'll find him just outside, in Ludlow Street."

"He was just here," he said kindly, looking with mild curiosity at the excited young advertising guy. "I bet you'll find him right outside, on Ludlow Street."

"Where's that?"

"Where is that?"

The tall man—and I don't see why I should scruple to name him, for it was Philip Warner—explained that Ludlow Street was the narrow alley that runs along one side of Leary's and elbows at right angles behind the shop. Down the flank of the store, along this narrow little street, run shelves of books under a penthouse. It is here that Leary's displays its stock of ragamuffin ten-centers—queer dingy volumes that call to the hearts of gentle questers. Along these historic shelves many troubled spirits have come as near happiness as they are like to get… for after all, happiness (as the mathematicians might say) lies on a curve, and we approach it only by asymptote.… The frequenters of this alley call themselves whimsically The Ludlow Street Business Men's Association, and Charles Lamb or Eugene Field would have been proud to preside at their annual dinners, at which the members recount their happiest book-finds of the year.

The tall man—and I don't see why I shouldn't name him, because it was Philip Warner—explained that Ludlow Street is the narrow alley that runs alongside Leary's and curves at a right angle behind the shop. Along the side of the store, down this narrow little street, are shelves of books under a small canopy. This is where Leary's showcases its collection of worn ten-cent books—strange, shabby volumes that speak to the hearts of gentle seekers. Many troubled souls have come close to happiness along these historic shelves… because, after all, happiness (as mathematicians might say) is on a curve, and we can only approach it asymptotically.… The regulars of this alley jokingly call themselves The Ludlow Street Business Men's Association, and Charles Lamb or Eugene Field would have been proud to host their annual dinners, where members share their happiest book finds of the year.

Aubrey rushed out of the shop and looked down the alley. Half a dozen Ludlow Street Business Men were groping among the shelves. Then, down at the far end, his small face poked into an open volume, he saw Roger. He approached with a rapid stride.

Aubrey hurried out of the shop and glanced down the alley. Half a dozen Ludlow Street business people were rummaging through the shelves. Then, at the far end, he saw Roger, his small face peering into an open book. Aubrey walked over quickly.

"Well," he said angrily, "here you are!"

"Well," he said angrily, "here you are!"

Roger looked up from his book good-humouredly. Apparently, in the zeal of his favourite pastime, he had forgotten where he was.

Roger looked up from his book with a smile. Apparently, in the excitement of his favorite hobby, he had lost track of where he was.

"Hullo!" he said. "What are you doing in Brooklyn? Look here, here's a copy of Tooke's Pantheon——"

"Helló!" he said. "What are you doing in Brooklyn? Check it out, here's a copy of Tooke's Pantheon——"

"What's the idea?" cried Aubrey harshly. "Are you trying to kid me? What are you and Weintraub framing up here in Philadelphia?"

"What's going on?" Aubrey shouted harshly. "Are you messing with me? What are you and Weintraub planning here in Philadelphia?"

Roger's mind came back to Ludlow Street. He looked with some surprise at the flushed face of the young man, and put the book back in its place on the shelf, making a mental note of its location. His disappointment of the morning came back to him with some irritation.

Roger's thoughts returned to Ludlow Street. He looked with surprise at the young man's flushed face and put the book back on the shelf, mentally noting where it was. His earlier disappointment resurfaced, now tinged with irritation.

"What are you talking about?" he said. "What the deuce business is it of yours?"

"What are you talking about?" he said. "What on earth is it to you?"

"I'll make it my business," said Aubrey, and shook his fist in the bookseller's face. "I've been trailing you, you scoundrel, and I want to know what kind of a game you're playing."

"I'll make it my business," Aubrey said, shaking his fist in the bookseller's face. "I've been following you, you scoundrel, and I want to know what kind of game you're playing."

A spot of red spread on Roger's cheekbones. In spite of his apparent demureness he had a pugnacious spirit and a quick fist.

A splash of red appeared on Roger's cheekbones. Despite his seeming shyness, he had a fierce spirit and a swift punch.

"By the bones of Charles Lamb!" he said. "Young man, your manners need mending. If you're looking for display advertising, I'll give you one on each eye."

"By the bones of Charles Lamb!" he exclaimed. "Young man, you need to work on your manners. If you're looking for display advertising, I'll give you one for each eye."

Aubrey had expected to find a cringing culprit, and this back talk infuriated him beyond control.

Aubrey had anticipated discovering a guilty party, and this smart remark angered him to the point of losing control.

"You damned little bolshevik," he said, "if you were my size I'd give you a hiding. You tell me what you and your pro-German pals are up to or I'll put the police on you!"

"You little commie," he said, "if you were my size, I'd give you a beating. You better tell me what you and your pro-German friends are up to, or I'll call the police on you!"

Roger stiffened. His beard bristled, and his blue eyes glittered.

Roger tensed up. His beard stood on end, and his blue eyes sparkled.

"You impudent dog," he said quietly, "you come round the corner where these people can't see us and I'll give you some private tutoring."

"You rude dog," he said quietly, "come around the corner where these people can't see us, and I'll give you some private lessons."

He led the way round the corner of the alley. In this narrow channel, between blank walls, they confronted each other.

He took the lead around the corner of the alley. In this narrow passage, between plain walls, they faced each other.

"In the name of Gutenberg," said Roger, calling upon his patron saint, "explain yourself or I'll hit you."

"In the name of Gutenberg," Roger said, invoking his patron saint, "speak up or I'll hit you."

"Who's he?" sneered Aubrey. "Another one of your Huns?"

"Who's he?" Aubrey scoffed. "Another one of your Huns?"

That instant he received a smart blow on the chin, which would have been much harder but that Roger misgauged his footing on the uneven cobbles, and hardly reached the face of his opponent, who topped him by many inches.

That moment, he took a sharp hit to the chin, which would have been much stronger if Roger hadn’t misjudged his footing on the uneven cobblestones and barely made contact with his opponent’s face, who was much taller than him.

Aubrey forgot his resolution not to hit a smaller man, and also calling upon his patron saints—the Associated Advertising Clubs of the World—he delivered a smashing slog which hit the bookseller in the chest and jolted him half across the alley.

Aubrey forgot his promise not to hit someone smaller than him, and after invoking his patron saints—the Associated Advertising Clubs of the World—he threw a powerful punch that struck the bookseller in the chest and sent him flying halfway across the alley.

Both men were furiously angry—Aubrey with the accumulated bitterness of several days' anxiety and suspicion, and Roger with the quick-flaming indignation of a hot-tempered man unwarrantably outraged. Aubrey had the better of the encounter in height, weight, and more than twenty years juniority, but fortune played for the bookseller. Aubrey's terrific punch sent the latter staggering across the alley onto the opposite curb. Aubrey followed him up with a rush, intending to crush the other with one fearful smite. But Roger, keeping cool, now had the advantage of position. Standing on the curb, he had a little the better in height. As Aubrey leaped at him, his face grim with hatred, Roger met him with a savage buffet on the jaw. Aubrey's foot struck against the curb, and he fell backward onto the stones. His head crashed violently on the cobbles, and the old cut on his scalp broke out afresh. Dazed and shaken, there was, for the moment, no more fight in him.

Both men were incredibly angry—Aubrey with the built-up bitterness of several days of anxiety and suspicion, and Roger with the quick-burning indignation of a hot-tempered man who felt wronged. Aubrey had the advantage in height, weight, and over twenty years of youth, but luck was on the bookseller's side. Aubrey's powerful punch sent Roger staggering across the alley to the opposite curb. Aubrey rushed after him, planning to take him down with one powerful hit. But Roger, staying calm, now had the upper hand. Standing on the curb, he had a slight height advantage. As Aubrey jumped at him, his face twisted with hatred, Roger met him with a fierce punch to the jaw. Aubrey's foot hit the curb, and he fell backward onto the stones. His head slammed hard against the cobbles, reopening an old cut on his scalp. Dazed and shaken, he had no more fight left in him for the moment.

"You insolent pup," panted Roger, "do you want any more?" Then he saw that Aubrey was really hurt. With horror he observed a trickle of blood run down the side of the young man's face.

"You rude little brat," gasped Roger, "do you want more?" Then he noticed that Aubrey was genuinely injured. With shock, he watched a stream of blood run down the side of the young man's face.

"Good Lord," he said. "Maybe I've killed him!"

"OMG," he said. "Maybe I've killed him!"

In a panic he ran round the corner to get Leary's outside man, who stands in a little sentry box at the front angle of the store and sells the outdoor books.

In a panic, he dashed around the corner to find Leary's outdoor guy, who stands in a small booth at the front corner of the store and sells the outdoor books.

"Quick," he said. "There's a fellow back here badly hurt."

"Quick," he said. "There's a guy back here who is seriously hurt."

They ran back around the corner, and found Aubrey walking rather shakily toward them. Immense relief swam through Roger's brain.

They ran back around the corner and saw Aubrey walking a bit unsteadily towards them. A huge wave of relief flooded through Roger's mind.

"Look here," he said, "I'm awfully sorry—are you hurt?"

"Hey there," he said, "I'm really sorry—are you okay?"

Aubrey glared whitely at him, but was too stunned to speak. He grunted, and the others took him one on each side and supported him. Leary's man ran inside the store and opened the little door of the freight elevator at the back of the shop. In this way, avoiding notice save by a few book-prowlers, Aubrey was carted into the shop as though he had been a parcel of second-hand books.

Aubrey stared at him in shock, but couldn’t find the words. He grunted, and the others moved in, one on each side to help him. Leary's guy went into the store and opened the small door to the freight elevator at the back. This way, sneaking past most people except for a couple of book hunters, Aubrey was carried into the shop as if he were just a box of used books.

Mr. Warner greeted them at the back of the shop, a little surprised, but gentle as ever.

Mr. Warner welcomed them at the back of the shop, a bit surprised, but as kind as always.

"What's wrong?" he said.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Oh, we've been fighting over a copy of Tooke's Pantheon," said Roger.

"Oh, we've been arguing over a copy of Tooke's Pantheon," said Roger.

They led Aubrey into the little private office at the rear. Here they made him sit down in a chair and bathed his bleeding head with cold water. Philip Warner, always resourceful, produced some surgical plaster. Roger wanted to telephone for a doctor.

They took Aubrey into the small private office at the back. There, they made him sit in a chair and cleaned his bleeding head with cold water. Philip Warner, being quick on his feet, brought out some surgical tape. Roger wanted to call a doctor.

"Not on your life," said Aubrey, pulling himself together. "See here, Mr. Mifflin, don't flatter yourself you gave me this cut on the skull. I got that the other evening on Brooklyn Bridge, going home from your damned bookshop. Now if you and I can be alone for a few minutes, we've got to have a talk."

"Not on your life," Aubrey said, regaining his composure. "Listen, Mr. Mifflin, don’t kid yourself into thinking you gave me this cut on my head. I got that the other evening on the Brooklyn Bridge, heading home from your damn bookshop. Now, if you and I can be alone for a few minutes, we need to have a chat."




Chapter XIV

The "Cromwell" Makes its Last Appearance

"You utter idiot," said Roger, half an hour later. "Why didn't you tell me all this sooner? Good Lord, man, there's some devil's work going on!"

"You absolute idiot," Roger said thirty minutes later. "Why didn’t you tell me all this earlier? Good Lord, man, there’s some shady business happening!"

"How the deuce was I to know you knew nothing about it?" said Aubrey impatiently. "You'll grant everything pointed against you? When I saw that guy go into the shop with his own key, what could I think but that you were in league with him? Gracious, man, are you so befuddled in your old books that you don't see what's going on round you?"

"How the heck was I supposed to know you didn't know anything about it?" Aubrey said, frustrated. "So you admit everything is against you? When I saw that guy enter the shop with his own key, what else could I think but that you were in on it? Come on, man, are you so caught up in your old books that you can't see what's happening around you?"

"What time did you say that was?" said Roger shortly.

"What time did you say that was?" Roger asked briefly.

"One o'clock Sunday morning."

"1 AM Sunday."

Roger thought a minute. "Yes, I was in the cellar with Bock," he said. "Bock barked, and I thought it was rats. That fellow must have taken an impression of the lock and made himself a key. He's been in the shop hundreds of times, and could easily do it. That explains the disappearing Cromwell. But WHY? What's the idea?"

Roger thought for a moment. "Yeah, I was in the cellar with Bock," he said. "Bock barked, and I thought it was rats. That guy must have made an impression of the lock and created a key for himself. He’s been in the shop hundreds of times, so it’s easy for him to do. That explains the missing Cromwell. But WHY? What’s going on?"

"For the love of heaven," said Aubrey. "Let's get back to Brooklyn as soon as we can. God only knows what may have happened. Fool that I was, to go away and leave those women all alone. Triple-distilled lunacy!"

"For the love of heaven," said Aubrey. "Let's get back to Brooklyn as soon as we can. God only knows what might have happened. What a fool I was to leave those women all alone. Total madness!"

"My dear fellow," said Roger, "I was the fool to be lured off by a fake telephone call. Judging by what you say, Weintraub must have worked that also."

"My dear friend," said Roger, "I was the idiot who got tricked by a fake phone call. From what you're saying, Weintraub must have set that up too."

Aubrey looked at his watch. "Just after three," he said.

Aubrey checked his watch. "Just after three," he said.

"We can't get a train till four," said Roger. "That means we can't get back to Gissing Street until nearly seven."

"We can't catch a train until four," said Roger. "That means we won't get back to Gissing Street until almost seven."

"Call them up," said Aubrey.

"Call them," said Aubrey.

They were still in the private office at the rear of Leary's. Roger was well-known in the shop, and had no hesitation in using the telephone. He lifted the receiver.

They were still in the private office at the back of Leary's. Roger was well-known in the shop and had no hesitation in using the phone. He picked up the receiver.

"Long Distance, please," he said. "Hullo? I want to get Brooklyn, Wordsworth 1617-W."

"Long distance, please," he said. "Hello? I want to reach Brooklyn, Wordsworth 1617-W."

They spent a sour twenty-five minutes waiting for the connection. Roger went out to talk with Warner, while Aubrey fumed in the back office. He could not sit still, and paced the little room in a fidget of impatience, tearing his watch out of his pocket every few minutes. He felt dull and sick with vague fear. To his mind recurred the spiteful buzz of that voice over the wire—"Gissing Street is not healthy for you." He remembered the scuffle on the Bridge, the whispering in the alley, and the sinister face of the druggist at his prescription counter. The whole series of events seemed a grossly fantastic nightmare, yet it frightened him. "If only I were in Brooklyn," he groaned, "it wouldn't be so bad. But to be over here, a hundred miles away, in another cursed bookshop, while that girl may be in trouble—Gosh!" he muttered. "If I get through this business all right I'll lay off bookshops for the rest of my life!"

They spent a frustrating twenty-five minutes waiting for the connection. Roger went out to talk with Warner, while Aubrey seethed in the back office. He couldn't sit still, pacing the small room in a restless fidget, checking his watch every few minutes. He felt dull and sick with a vague sense of fear. The spiteful buzz of that voice over the line kept replaying in his mind—"Gissing Street is not healthy for you." He recalled the scuffle on the bridge, the whispers in the alley, and the sinister look of the pharmacist at the prescription counter. The whole sequence of events felt like a bizarre nightmare, but it terrified him. "If only I were in Brooklyn," he groaned, "it wouldn't be so bad. But to be over here, a hundred miles away, in another damn bookstore, while that girl might be in trouble—Gosh!" he muttered. "If I get through this okay, I'll quit bookstores for the rest of my life!"

The telephone rang, and Aubrey frantically beckoned to Roger, who was outside, talking.

The phone rang, and Aubrey urgently waved to Roger, who was outside chatting.

"Answer it, you chump!" said Roger. "We'll lose the connection!"

"Answer it, you idiot!" said Roger. "We're going to lose the connection!"

"Nix," said Aubrey. "If Titania hears my voice she'll ring off. She's sore at me."

"Nix," said Aubrey. "If Titania hears my voice, she'll hang up. She's really mad at me."

Roger ran to the instrument. "Hullo, hullo?" he said, irritably. "Hullo, is that Wordsworth——? Yes, I'm calling Brooklyn—Hullo!"

Roger rushed to the instrument. "Hello, hello?" he said, annoyed. "Hello, is that Wordsworth? Yes, I'm calling Brooklyn—Hello!"

Aubrey, leaning over Roger's shoulder, could hear a clucking in the receiver, and then, incredibly clear, a thin, silver, distant voice. How well he knew it! It seemed to vibrate in the air all about him. He could hear every syllable distinctly. A hot perspiration burst out on his forehead and in the palms of his hands.

Aubrey leaned over Roger's shoulder, hearing a clucking sound in the receiver, and then, incredibly clear, a thin, silver voice from far away. He recognized it so well! It felt like it was vibrating in the air around him. He could hear every syllable clearly. A hot sweat broke out on his forehead and in the palms of his hands.

"Hullo," said Roger. "Is that Mifflin's Bookshop?"

"Helloo," said Roger. "Is this Mifflin's Bookshop?"

"Yes," said Titania. "Is that you, Mr. Mifflin? Where are you?"

"Yes," said Titania. "Is that you, Mr. Mifflin? Where are you?"

"In Philadelphia," said Roger. "Tell me, is everything all right?"

"In Philadelphia," Roger said. "Tell me, is everything okay?"

"Everything's dandy," said Titania. "I'm selling loads of books. Mrs. Mifflin's gone out to do some shopping."

"Everything's great," said Titania. "I'm selling tons of books. Mrs. Mifflin has gone out to do some shopping."

Aubrey shook to hear the tiny, airy voice, like a trill of birdsong, like a tinkling from some distant star. He could imagine her standing at the phone in the back of the shadowy bookshop, and seemed to see her as though through an inverted telescope, very minute and very perfect. How brave and exquisite she was!

Aubrey trembled at the sound of the tiny, light voice, like a burst of birdsong, like the chime of a faraway star. He could picture her standing by the phone in the dimly lit bookstore, and it felt like he was viewing her through an inverted telescope—so small and so perfect. How brave and beautiful she was!

"When are you coming home?" she was saying.

"When are you coming home?" she asked.

"About seven o'clock," said Roger. "Listen, is everything absolutely O. K.?"

"About seven o'clock," Roger said. "Hey, is everything totally fine?"

"Why, yes," said Titania. "I've been having lots of fun. I went down just now and put some coal on the furnace. Oh, yes. Mr. Weintraub came in a little while ago and left a suitcase of books. He said you wouldn't mind. A friend of his is going to call for them this afternoon."

"Sure," said Titania. "I've been having a great time. I just went down and put some coal in the furnace. Oh, definitely. Mr. Weintraub came in a little while ago and dropped off a suitcase of books. He mentioned you wouldn't mind. A friend of his is going to pick them up this afternoon."

"Hold the wire a moment," said Roger, and clapped his hand over the mouthpiece. "She says Weintraub left a suitcase of books there to be called for. What do you make of that?"

"Wait a second," Roger said, covering the mouthpiece. "She says Weintraub left a suitcase of books there to be picked up. What do you think about that?"

"For the love of God, tell her not to touch those books."

"For the love of God, tell her not to touch those books."

"Hullo?" said Roger. Aubrey, leaning over him, noticed that the little bookseller's naked pate was ringed with crystal beads.

"Helloo?" said Roger. Aubrey, leaning over him, noticed that the little bookseller's bald head was surrounded by crystal beads.

"Hullo?" replied Titania's elfin voice promptly.

"Hello?" replied Titania's high-pitched voice quickly.

"Did you open the suitcase?"

"Did you open the bag?"

"No. It's locked. Mr. Weintraub said there were a lot of old books in it for a friend of his. It's very heavy."

"No. It's locked. Mr. Weintraub said there are a lot of old books in it for a friend of his. It's really heavy."

"Look here," said Roger, and his voice rang sharply. "This is important. I don't want you to touch that suitcase. Leave it wherever it is, and DON'T TOUCH IT. Promise me."

"Listen up," said Roger, his voice cutting through the air. "This is important. I don't want you to touch that suitcase. Leave it where it is, and DON'T TOUCH IT. Promise me."

"Yes, Mr. Mifflin. Had I better put it in a safe place?"

"Yes, Mr. Mifflin. Should I put it in a safe place?"

"DON'T TOUCH IT!"

"Don’t touch that!"

"Bock's sniffing at it now."

"Bock's checking it out now."

"Don't touch it, and don't let Bock touch it. It—it's got valuable papers in it."

"Don’t touch it, and don’t let Bock touch it either. It’s got important papers in there."

"I'll be careful of it," said Titania.

"I'll be careful with it," said Titania.

"Promise me not to touch it. And another thing—if any one calls for it, don't let them take it until I get home."

"Promise me you won't touch it. And one more thing—if anyone asks for it, don't let them take it until I get back."

Aubrey held out his watch in front of Roger. The latter nodded.

Aubrey held out his watch in front of Roger. Roger nodded.

"Do you understand?" he said. "Do you hear me all right?"

"Do you get it?" he asked. "Can you hear me okay?"

"Yes, splendidly. I think it's wonderful! You know I never talked on long distance before——"

"Yeah, it’s great. I think it’s amazing! You know I’ve never talked on long distance before—"

"Don't touch the bag," repeated Roger doggedly, "and don't let any one take it until we—until I get back."

"Don't touch the bag," Roger insisted firmly, "and don't let anyone take it until we—until I get back."

"I promise," said Titania blithely.

"I promise," said Titania cheerfully.

"Good-bye," said Roger, and set down the receiver. His face looked curiously pinched, and there was perspiration in the hollows under his eyes. Aubrey held out his watch impatiently.

"Goodbye," said Roger, and hung up the phone. His face looked strangely tense, and there was sweat in the hollows under his eyes. Aubrey impatiently held out his watch.

"We've just time to make it," cried Roger, and they rushed from the shop.

"We have just enough time to make it," shouted Roger, and they hurried out of the shop.


It was not a sprightly journey. The train made its accustomed detour through West Philadelphia and North Philadelphia before getting down to business, and the two voyagers felt a personal hatred of the brakemen who permitted passengers from these suburbs to straggle leisurely aboard instead of flogging them in with knotted whips. When the express stopped at Trenton, Aubrey could easily have turned a howitzer upon that innocent city and blasted it into rubble. An unexpected stop at Princeton Junction was the last straw. Aubrey addressed the conductor in terms that were highly treasonable, considering that this official was a government servant.

It was not a lively journey. The train took its usual detour through West Philadelphia and North Philadelphia before getting to the point, and the two travelers felt a strong dislike for the conductors who allowed passengers from these suburbs to board casually instead of ushering them in firmly. When the express stopped at Trenton, Aubrey could have easily turned a cannon on that unsuspecting city and reduced it to ruins. An unexpected stop at Princeton Junction was the last straw. Aubrey spoke to the conductor in a way that was incredibly disrespectful, especially considering this official was a government employee.

The winter twilight drew in, gray and dreary, with a threat of snow. For some time they sat in silence, Roger buried in a Philadelphia afternoon paper containing the text of the President's speech announcing his trip to Europe, and Aubrey gloomily recapitulating the schedule of his past week. His head throbbed, his hands were wet with nervousness so that crumbs of tobacco adhered to them annoyingly.

The winter twilight set in, gray and dull, with a chance of snow. They sat in silence for a while, Roger engrossed in a Philadelphia afternoon paper featuring the text of the President's speech about his trip to Europe, while Aubrey gloomily went over his schedule from the past week. His head hurt, and his hands were damp from nerves, causing annoying bits of tobacco to stick to them.

"It's a funny thing," he said at last. "You know I never heard of your shop until a week ago to-day, and now it seems like the most important place on earth. It was only last Tuesday that we had supper together, and since then I've had my scalp laid open twice, had a desperado lie in wait for me in my own bedroom, spent two night vigils on Gissing Street, and endangered the biggest advertising account our agency handles. I don't wonder you call the place haunted!"

"It's a funny thing," he finally said. "I just found out about your shop a week ago, and now it feels like the most important place in the world. It was only last Tuesday when we had dinner together, and since then, I've had my head cut open twice, had a criminal waiting for me in my own bedroom, pulled two all-nighters on Gissing Street, and risked the biggest advertising account our agency manages. It’s no surprise you call the place haunted!"

"I suppose it would all make good advertising copy?" said Roger peevishly.

"I guess that would all make for some good advertising copy?" Roger said irritably.

"Well, I don't know" said Aubrey. "It's a bit too rough, I'm afraid. How do you dope it out?"

"Well, I don't know," Aubrey said. "It's a bit too rough for my taste. How do you figure it out?"

"I don't know what to think. Weintraub has run that drug store for twenty years or more. Years ago, before I ever got into the book business, I used to know his shop. He was always rather interested in books, especially scientific books, and we got quite friendly when I opened up on Gissing Street. I never fell for his face very hard, but he always seemed quiet and well-disposed. It sounds to me like some kind of trade in illicit drugs, or German incendiary bombs. You know what a lot of fires there were during the war—those big grain elevators in Brooklyn, and so on."

"I don't know what to think. Weintraub has been running that drug store for over twenty years. A long time ago, before I got into the book business, I used to know his shop. He was always pretty interested in books, especially scientific ones, and we became quite friendly when I opened my store on Gissing Street. I never found him all that attractive, but he always seemed calm and friendly. It sounds to me like he's involved in some kind of illegal drug trade, or maybe even German incendiary bombs. You remember all the fires during the war—those big grain elevators in Brooklyn, and so on."

"I thought at first it was a kidnapping stunt," said Aubrey. "I thought you had got Miss Chapman planted in your shop so that these other guys could smuggle her away."

"I thought at first it was a kidnapping prank," said Aubrey. "I thought you had Miss Chapman set up in your shop so that these other guys could take her away."

"You seem to have done me the honour of thinking me a very complete rascal," said Roger.

"You seem to have done me the favor of thinking I'm quite the complete jerk," said Roger.

Aubrey's lips trembled with irritable retort, but he checked himself heroically.

Aubrey's lips quivered with an annoyed response, but he held himself back bravely.

"What was your particular interest in the Cromwell book?" he asked after a pause.

"What specifically interested you in the Cromwell book?" he asked after a pause.

"Oh, I read somewhere—two or three years ago—that it was one of Woodrow Wilson's favourite books. That interested me, and I looked it up."

"Oh, I read somewhere a couple of years ago that it was one of Woodrow Wilson's favorite books. That caught my attention, so I looked it up."

"By the way," cried Aubrey excitedly, "I forgot to show you those numbers that were written in the cover." He pulled out his memorandum book, and showed the transcript he had made.

"By the way," Aubrey exclaimed excitedly, "I forgot to show you those numbers written on the cover." He pulled out his notebook and showed the notes he had taken.

"Well, one of these is perfectly understandable," said Roger. "Here, where it says 329 ff. cf. W. W. That simply means 'pages 329 and following, compare Woodrow Wilson.' I remember jotting that down not long ago, because that passage in the book reminded me of some of Wilson's ideas. I generally note down in the back of a book the numbers of any pages that interest me specially. These other page numbers convey nothing unless I had the book before me."

"Well, one of these makes total sense," said Roger. "Here, where it says 329 ff. cf. W. W. That just means 'pages 329 and following, refer to Woodrow Wilson.' I remember writing that down not long ago, because that part in the book reminded me of some of Wilson's ideas. I usually write down the page numbers that catch my interest at the back of a book. These other page numbers don't mean anything unless I have the book in front of me."

"The first bunch of numbers was in your handwriting, then; but underneath were these others, in Weintraub's—or at any rate in his ink. When I saw that he was jotting down what I took to be code stuff in the backs of your books I naturally assumed you and he were working together——"

"The first set of numbers was in your handwriting, but underneath were these others, in Weintraub's—or at least in his ink. When I noticed he was writing down what I thought was code in the backs of your books, I naturally assumed you and he were collaborating——"

"And you found the cover in his drug store?"

"And you found the cover in his pharmacy?"

"Yes."

Yes.

Roger scowled. "I don't make it out," he said. "Well, there's nothing we can do till we get there. Do you want to look at the paper? There's the text of Wilson's speech to Congress this morning."

Roger frowned. "I don't get it," he said. "Well, there's nothing we can do until we get there. Do you want to check out the paper? There's the text of Wilson's speech to Congress this morning."

Aubrey shook his head dismally, and leaned his hot forehead against the pane. Neither of them spoke again until they reached Manhattan Transfer, where they changed for the Hudson Terminal.

Aubrey shook his head sadly and pressed his hot forehead against the window. Neither of them said anything else until they got to Manhattan Transfer, where they switched to the train for Hudson Terminal.

It was seven o'clock when they hurried out of the subway terminus at Atlantic Avenue. It was a raw, damp evening, but the streets had already begun to bustle with their nightly exuberance of light and colour. The yellow glitter of a pawnshop window reminded Aubrey of the small revolver in his pocket. As they passed a dark alley, he stepped aside to load the weapon.

It was seven o'clock when they rushed out of the subway station at Atlantic Avenue. It was a chilly, damp evening, but the streets had already started to come alive with their nightly burst of light and color. The yellow sparkle of a pawnshop window reminded Aubrey of the small revolver in his pocket. As they walked by a dark alley, he stepped to the side to load the gun.

"Have you anything of this sort with you?" he said, showing it to Roger.

"Do you have anything like this with you?" he asked, showing it to Roger.

"Good Lord, no," said the bookseller. "What do you think I am, a moving-picture hero?"

"Good Lord, no," said the bookseller. "What do you think I am, some movie hero?"

Down Gissing Street the younger man set so rapid a pace that his companion had to trot to keep abreast. The placid vista of the little street was reassuring. Under the glowing effusion of the shop windows the pavement was a path of checkered brightness. In Weintraub's pharmacy they could see the pasty-faced assistant in his stained white coat serving a beaker of hot chocolate. In the stationer's shop people were looking over trays of Christmas cards. In the Milwaukee Lunch Aubrey saw (and envied) a sturdy citizen peacefully dipping a doughnut into a cup of coffee.

Down Gissing Street, the younger man walked so fast that his companion had to jog to keep up. The calm view of the small street was comforting. Under the warm glow of the shop windows, the sidewalk was a bright, checkered path. In Weintraub's pharmacy, they spotted the pale-faced assistant in his dirty white coat serving a cup of hot chocolate. In the stationer's shop, people were browsing through trays of Christmas cards. At the Milwaukee Lunch, Aubrey noticed (and envied) a strong guy calmly dipping a doughnut into a cup of coffee.

"This all seems very unreal," said Roger.

"This all feels really unreal," Roger said.

As they neared the bookshop, Aubrey's heart gave a jerk of apprehension. The blinds in the front windows had been drawn down. A dull shining came through them, showing that the lights were turned on inside. But why should the shades be lowered with closing time three hours away?

As they got closer to the bookstore, Aubrey's heart skipped a beat with worry. The blinds in the front windows were pulled down. A faint light shone through them, indicating that the lights were on inside. But why would the shades be closed with three hours until closing time?

They reached the front door, and Aubrey was about to seize the handle when Roger halted him.

They got to the front door, and Aubrey was about to grab the handle when Roger stopped him.

"Wait a moment," he said. "Let's go in quietly. There may be something queer going on."

"Hold on a second," he said. "Let's go in quietly. There might be something strange happening."

Aubrey turned the knob gently. The door was locked.

Aubrey turned the knob slowly. The door was locked.

Roger pulled out his latchkey and cautiously released the bolt. Then he opened the door slightly—about an inch.

Roger took out his key and carefully unlocked the door. Then he opened it a little—about an inch.

"You're taller than I am," he whispered. "Reach up and muffle the bell above the door while I open it."

"You're taller than me," he whispered. "Can you reach up and muffle the bell above the door while I open it?"

Aubrey thrust three fingers through the aperture and blocked the trigger of the gong. Then Roger pushed the door wide, and they tiptoed in.

Aubrey pushed three fingers through the opening and stopped the gong's trigger. Then Roger swung the door open, and they quietly crept inside.

The shop was empty, and apparently normal. They stood for an instant with pounding pulses.

The shop was empty and looked perfectly normal. They stood for a moment with their hearts racing.

From the back of the house came a clear voice, a little tremulous:

From the back of the house came a clear voice, a bit shaky:

"You can do what you like, I shan't tell you where it is. Mr. Mifflin said——"

"You can do whatever you want, I won't tell you where it is. Mr. Mifflin said——"

There followed the bang of a falling chair, and a sound of rapid movement.

There was a loud crash as a chair fell, followed by the sound of someone moving quickly.

Aubrey was down the aisle in a flash, followed by Roger, who had delayed just long enough to close the door. He tiptoed up the steps at the back of the shop and looked into the dining room. At the instant his eyes took in the scene it seemed as though the whole room was in motion.

Aubrey dashed down the aisle, followed by Roger, who took just enough time to close the door. He quietly made his way up the steps at the back of the shop and peeked into the dining room. The moment he saw the scene, it felt like the entire room was alive with activity.

The cloth was spread for supper and shone white under the drop lamp. In the far corner of the room Titania was struggling in the grasp of a bearded man whom Aubrey instantly recognized as the chef. On the near side of the table, holding a revolver levelled at the girl, stood Weintraub. His back was toward the door. Aubrey could see the druggist's sullen jaw crease and shake with anger.

The table was set for dinner and gleamed white under the hanging light. In the far corner of the room, Titania was trying to break free from the grip of a bearded man whom Aubrey immediately recognized as the chef. On the near side of the table, Weintraub stood with a revolver aimed at the girl, his back facing the door. Aubrey could see the druggist's gloomy jaw clench and tremble with anger.

Two strides took him into the room. He jammed the muzzle of his pistol against the oily cheek. "Drop it!" he said hoarsely. "You Hun!" With his left hand he seized the man's shirt collar and drew it tight against the throat. In his tremor of rage and excitement his arms felt curiously weak, and his first thought was how impossible it would be to strangle that swinish neck.

Two strides brought him into the room. He pressed the barrel of his gun against the greasy cheek. "Drop it!" he said hoarsely. "You bastard!" With his left hand, he grabbed the man's shirt collar and pulled it tight against his throat. In his shake of anger and excitement, his arms felt strangely weak, and his first thought was how impossible it would be to strangle that pig-like neck.

For an instant there was a breathless tableau. The bearded man still had his hands on Titania's shoulders. She, very pale but with brilliant eyes, gazed at Aubrey in unbelieving amazement. Weintraub stood quite motionless with both hands on the dining table, as though thinking. He felt the cold bruise of metal against the hollow of his cheek. Slowly he opened his right hand and his revolver fell on the linen cloth. Then Roger burst into the room.

For a moment, everything felt like it was frozen in time. The bearded man still had his hands on Titania's shoulders. She looked very pale, but her eyes were bright with disbelief as she stared at Aubrey. Weintraub stood completely still with both hands on the dining table, deep in thought. He could feel the cold weight of the metal pressing against his cheek. Slowly, he opened his right hand, and his revolver dropped onto the tablecloth. Then Roger rushed into the room.

Titania wrenched herself away from the chef.

Titania pulled herself away from the chef.

"I wouldn't give them the suitcase!" she cried.

"I won't give them the suitcase!" she shouted.

Aubrey kept his pistol pinned against Weintraub's face. With his left hand he picked up the druggist's revolver. Roger was about to seize the chef, who was standing uncertainly on the other side of the table.

Aubrey held his pistol to Weintraub's face. With his left hand, he grabbed the druggist's revolver. Roger was about to grab the chef, who was standing nervously on the other side of the table.

"Here," said Aubrey, "take this gun. Cover this fellow and leave that one to me. I've got a score to settle with him."

"Here," said Aubrey, "take this gun. Cover this guy and leave that one to me. I’ve got a score to settle with him."

The chef made a movement as though to jump through the window behind him, but Aubrey flung himself upon him. He hit the man square on the nose and felt a delicious throb of satisfaction as the rubbery flesh flattened beneath his knuckles. He seized the man's hairy throat and sank his fingers into it. The other tried to snatch the bread knife on the table, but was too late. He fell to the floor, and Aubrey throttled him savagely.

The chef moved like he was about to leap through the window behind him, but Aubrey tackled him. He landed a punch right on the guy's nose and felt a rush of satisfaction as the soft flesh squished under his knuckles. He grabbed the man's hairy throat and dug his fingers in. The other guy tried to grab the bread knife on the table, but it was too late. He went down to the floor, and Aubrey choked him fiercely.

"You blasted Hun," he grunted. "Go wrestling with girls, will you?"

"You blasted Hun," he grunted. "Why don’t you go wrestle with girls instead?"

Titania ran from the room, through the pantry.

Titania ran out of the room and through the pantry.

Roger was holding Weintraub's revolver in front of the German's face.

Roger was pointing Weintraub's revolver at the German's face.

"Look here," he said, "what does this mean?"

"Check this out," he said, "what does this mean?"

"It's all a mistake," said the druggist suavely, though his eyes slid uneasily to and fro. "I just came in to get some books I left here earlier in the afternoon."

"It's all a mistake," said the pharmacist smoothly, although his eyes shifted nervously back and forth. "I just came in to grab some books I left here earlier today."

"With a revolver, eh?" said Roger. "Speak up, Hindenburg, what's the big idea?"

"With a revolver, huh?" said Roger. "Speak up, Hindenburg, what's going on?"

"It's not my revolver," said Weintraub. "It's Metzger's."

"It's not my gun," Weintraub said. "It's Metzger's."

"Where's this suitcase of yours?" said Roger. "We're going to have a look at it."

"Where's your suitcase?" Roger said. "We're going to check it out."

"It's all a stupid mistake," said Weintraub. "I left a suitcase of old books here for Metzger, because I expected to go out of town this afternoon. He called for it, and your young woman wouldn't give it to him. He came to me, and I came down here to tell her it was all right."

"It's just a dumb mistake," Weintraub said. "I left a suitcase of old books here for Metzger because I thought I was going out of town this afternoon. He called for it, but your young woman wouldn’t give it to him. He came to me, and I came down here to let her know it was fine."

"Is that Metzger?" said Roger, pointing to the bearded man who was trying to break Aubrey's grip. "Gilbert, don't choke that man, we want him to do some explaining."

"Is that Metzger?" Roger asked, pointing to the bearded guy who was trying to shake off Aubrey's hold. "Gilbert, don't strangle that guy; we need him to explain some things."

Aubrey got up, picked his revolver from the floor where he had dropped it, and prodded the chef to his feet.

Aubrey got up, grabbed his revolver from the floor where he had dropped it, and nudged the chef to his feet.

"Well, you swine," he said, "how did you enjoy falling downstairs the other evening? As for you, Herr Weintraub, I'd like to know what kind of prescriptions you make up in that cellar of yours."

"Well, you pig," he said, "how did you like falling down the stairs the other night? As for you, Herr Weintraub, I'm curious about what kind of prescriptions you cook up in that cellar of yours."

Weintraub's face shone damply in the lamplight. Perspiration was thick on his forehead.

Weintraub's face glistened in the lamplight. Sweat coated his forehead.

"My dear Mifflin," he said, "this is awfully stupid. In my eagerness, I'm afraid——"

"My dear Mifflin," he said, "this is really ridiculous. In my excitement, I'm worried——"

Titania ran back into the room, followed by Helen, whose face was crimson.

Titania rushed back into the room, followed by Helen, whose face was bright red.

"Thank God you're back, Roger," she said. "These brutes tied me up in the kitchen and gagged me with a roller-towel. They threatened to shoot Titania if she wouldn't give them the suitcase."

"Thank God you're back, Roger," she said. "These thugs tied me up in the kitchen and gagged me with a dish towel. They threatened to shoot Titania if she didn't hand over the suitcase."

Weintraub began to say something, but Roger thrust the revolver between his eyes.

Weintraub started to say something, but Roger shoved the gun in his face.

"Hold your tongue!" he said. "We're going to have a look at those books of yours."

"Be quiet!" he said. "We're going to take a look at those books of yours."

"I'll get the suitcase," said Titania. "I hid it. When Mr. Weintraub came in and asked for it, at first I was going to give it to him, but he looked so queer I thought something must be wrong."

"I'll grab the suitcase," said Titania. "I stashed it away. When Mr. Weintraub came in and asked for it, I was initially going to hand it over, but he looked so peculiar that I figured something had to be off."

"Don't you get it," said Aubrey, and their eyes met for the first time. "Show me where it is, and we'll let friend Hun bring it."

"Don't you understand?" Aubrey said, and their eyes connected for the first time. "Show me where it is, and we'll have our friend Hun take it."

Titania flushed a little. "It's in my bedroom cupboard," she said.

Titania blushed a bit. "It's in my bedroom closet," she said.

She led the way upstairs, Metzger following, and Aubrey behind Metzger with his pistol ready. Outside the bedroom door Aubrey halted. "Show him the suitcase and let him pick it up," he said. "If he makes a wrong movement, call me, and I'll shoot him."

She went upstairs first, with Metzger trailing behind, and Aubrey following Metzger, holding his pistol at the ready. Outside the bedroom door, Aubrey stopped. "Show him the suitcase and let him grab it," he said. "If he makes a wrong move, call me, and I'll shoot him."

Titania pointed out the suitcase, which she had stowed at the back of her cupboard behind some clothes. The chef showed no insubordination, and the three returned downstairs.

Titania pointed to the suitcase she had tucked away at the back of her closet behind some clothes. The chef didn't act out of line, and the three went back downstairs.

"Very well," said Roger. "We'll go down in the shop where we can see better. Perhaps he's got a first folio Shakespeare in here. Helen, you go to the phone and ring up the McFee Street police station. Ask them to send a couple of men round here at once."

"Sure," said Roger. "Let’s head down to the shop where we can see better. He might have a first folio Shakespeare in here. Helen, can you use the phone and call the McFee Street police station? Ask them to send a couple of officers over right away."

"My dear Mifflin," said Weintraub, "this is very absurd. Only a few old books that I had collected from time to time."

"My dear Mifflin," said Weintraub, "this is really ridiculous. Just a few old books that I had gathered over time."

"I don't call it absurd when a man comes into my house and ties my wife up with clothesline and threatens to shoot a young girl," said Roger. "We'll see what the police have to say about this, Weintraub. Don't make any mistake: if you try to bolt I'll blow your brains out."

"I don't think it's ridiculous when a guy comes into my house, ties up my wife with clothesline, and threatens to shoot a young girl," Roger said. "We'll see what the police say about this, Weintraub. Make no mistake: if you try to run, I'll blow your brains out."

Aubrey led the way down into the shop while Metzger carried the suitcase. Roger and Weintraub followed, and Titania brought up the rear. Under a bright light in the Essay alcove Aubrey made the chef lay the bag on the table.

Aubrey took the lead as they headed into the shop, with Metzger holding the suitcase. Roger and Weintraub followed behind, and Titania brought up the end of the line. Under a bright light in the Essay alcove, Aubrey instructed the chef to place the bag on the table.

"Open her up," he said curtly.

"Open her up," he said bluntly.

"It's nothing but some old books," said Metzger.

"It's just a bunch of old books," said Metzger.

"If they're old enough they may be valuable," said Roger. "I'm interested in old books. Look sharp!"

"If they're old enough, they might be valuable," Roger said. "I'm into old books. Keep your eyes peeled!"

Metzger drew a key from his pocket and unlocked the bag. Aubrey held the pistol at his head as he threw back the lid.

Metzger pulled a key from his pocket and opened the bag. Aubrey aimed the pistol at his head as he flipped the lid open.

The suitcase was full of second-hand books closely packed together. Roger, with great presence of mind, was keeping his eyes on Weintraub.

The suitcase was packed with used books tightly together. Roger, staying alert, was keeping a close watch on Weintraub.

"Tell me what's in it," he said.

"Tell me what's inside it," he said.

"Why, it's only a lot of books, after all," cried Titania.

"Why, it's just a bunch of books, after all," exclaimed Titania.

"You see," said Weintraub surlily, "there's no mystery about it. I'm sorry I was so——"

"You see," Weintraub said grumpily, "there's no mystery about it. I'm sorry I was so——"

"Oh, look!" said Titania; "There's the Cromwell book!"

"Oh, look!" said Titania. "There's the Cromwell book!"

For an instant Roger forgot himself. He looked instinctively at the suitcase, and in that moment the druggist broke away, ran down the aisle, and flew out of the door. Roger dashed after him, but was too late. Aubrey was holding Metzger by the collar with the pistol at his head.

For a moment, Roger lost focus. He instinctively glanced at the suitcase, and in that instant, the pharmacist broke free, sprinted down the aisle, and bolted out the door. Roger raced after him, but he was too late. Aubrey had a hold of Metzger by the collar, with the gun pressed against his head.

"Good God," he said, "why didn't you shoot?"

"Good God," he said, "why didn't you just shoot?"

"I don't know" said Roger in confusion. "I was afraid of hitting him. Never mind, we can fix him later."

"I don't know," Roger said, confused. "I was worried about hitting him. It's fine, we can deal with it later."

"The police will be here in a minute," said Helen, calling from the telephone. "I'm going to let Bock in. He's in the back yard."

"The police will be here any minute," Helen said, speaking on the phone. "I'm going to let Bock in. He's in the backyard."

"I think they're both crazy," said Titania. "Let's put the Cromwell back on the shelf and let this creature go." She put out her hand for the book.

"I think they're both insane," said Titania. "Let's put the Cromwell back on the shelf and let this thing go." She reached out her hand for the book.

"Stop!" cried Aubrey, and seized her arm. "Don't touch that book!"

"Stop!" yelled Aubrey, grabbing her arm. "Don’t touch that book!"

Titania shrank back, frightened by his voice. Had everyone gone insane?

Titania recoiled, scared by his voice. Had everyone lost their minds?

"Here, Mr. Metzger," said Aubrey, "you put that book back on the shelf where it belongs. Don't try to get away. I've got this revolver pointed at you."

"Here, Mr. Metzger," Aubrey said, "put that book back on the shelf where it belongs. Don't even think about running away. I've got this revolver aimed at you."

He and Roger were both startled by the chef's face. Above the unkempt beard his eyes shone with a half-crazed lustre, and his hands shook.

He and Roger were both surprised by the chef's face. Above the messy beard, his eyes glowed with a half-crazed shine, and his hands trembled.

"Very well," he said. "Show me where it goes."

"Okay," he said. "Show me where it goes."

"I'll show you," said Titania.

"I'll show you," Titania said.

Aubrey put out his arm in front of the girl. "Stay where you are," he said angrily.

Aubrey stretched out his arm in front of the girl. "Stay where you are," he said, irritated.

"Down in the History alcove," said Roger. "The front alcove on the other side of the shop. We've both got you covered."

"Over in the History alcove," Roger said. "The front alcove on the other side of the shop. We've got you both covered."

Instead of taking the volume from the suitcase, Metzger picked up the whole bag, holding it flat. He carried it to the alcove they indicated. He placed the case carefully on the floor, and picked the Cromwell volume out of it.

Instead of taking the book out of the suitcase, Metzger grabbed the entire bag, holding it flat. He carried it to the alcove they pointed out. He carefully set the case down on the floor and took the Cromwell book out of it.

"Where would you want it to go?" he said in an odd voice. "This is a valuable book."

"Where would you like it to go?" he said in a strange voice. "This is an important book."

"On the fifth shelf," said Roger. "Over there——"

"On the fifth shelf," Roger said. "Over there——"

"For God's sake stand back," said Aubrey. "Don't go near him. There's something damnable about this."

"For God's sake, step back," Aubrey said. "Don't get close to him. There's something really creepy about this."

"You poor fools!" cried Metzger harshly. "To hell with you and your old books." He drew his hand back as though to throw the volume at them.

"You poor fools!" Metzger shouted harshly. "Forget you and your old books." He pulled his hand back like he was about to throw the book at them.

There was a quick patter of feet, and Bock, growling, ran down the aisle. In the same instant, Aubrey, obeying some unexplained impulse, gave Roger a violent push back into the Fiction alcove, seized Titania roughly in his arms, and ran with her toward the back of the shop.

There was a quick patter of feet, and Bock, growling, ran down the aisle. In that same moment, Aubrey, following some unclear urge, gave Roger a hard shove back into the Fiction alcove, grabbed Titania roughly in his arms, and sprinted with her toward the back of the shop.

Metzger's arm was raised, about to throw the book, when Bock darted at him and buried his teeth in the man's leg. The Cromwell fell from his hand.

Metzger's arm was up, ready to throw the book, when Bock lunged at him and sank his teeth into the man's leg. The Cromwell dropped from his hand.

There was a shattering explosion, a dull roar, and for an instant Aubrey thought the whole bookshop had turned into a vast spinning top. The floor rocked and sagged, shelves of books were hurled in every direction. Carrying Titania, he had just reached the steps leading to the domestic quarters when they were flung sideways into the corner behind Roger's desk. The air was full of flying books. A row of encyclopedias crashed down upon his shoulders, narrowly missing Titania's head. The front windows were shivered into flying streamers of broken glass. The table near the door was hurled into the opposite gallery. With a splintering crash the corner of the gallery above the History alcove collapsed, and hundreds of volumes cascaded heavily on to the floor. The lights went out, and for an instant all was silence.

There was a massive explosion, a deep roar, and for a moment, Aubrey thought the entire bookshop had turned into a giant spinning top. The floor shook and sagged, and books flew off the shelves in every direction. Carrying Titania, he had just reached the steps to the living quarters when they were thrown sideways into the corner behind Roger's desk. The air was filled with flying books. A row of encyclopedias crashed down on his shoulders, just missing Titania's head. The front windows shattered into shards of glass. The table near the door was tossed into the opposite gallery. With a loud crash, the corner of the gallery above the History alcove collapsed, and hundreds of books tumbled heavily to the ground. The lights went out, and for a moment, there was complete silence.

"Are you all right?" said Aubrey hastily. He and Titania had fallen sprawling against the bookseller's desk.

"Are you okay?" Aubrey asked quickly. He and Titania had toppled against the bookseller's desk.

"I think so," she said faintly. "Where's Mr. Mifflin?"

"I think so," she said softly. "Where's Mr. Mifflin?"

Aubrey put out his hand to help her, and touched something wet on the floor. "Good heavens," he thought. "She's dying!" He struggled to his feet in the darkness. "Hullo, Mr. Mifflin," he called, "where are you?"

Aubrey reached out to help her and felt something wet on the floor. "Oh no," he thought. "She's dying!" He fought to get to his feet in the dark. "Hey, Mr. Mifflin," he shouted, "where are you?"

There was no answer.

No response.

A beam of light gushed out from the passageway behind the shop, and picking his way over fallen litter he found Mrs. Mifflin standing dazed by the dining-room door. In the back of the house the lights were still burning.

A beam of light burst out from the hallway behind the shop, and as he carefully stepped over the scattered trash, he saw Mrs. Mifflin standing confused by the dining-room door. The lights in the back of the house were still on.

"For heaven's sake, have you a candle?" he said.

"For heaven's sake, do you have a candle?" he said.

"Where's Roger?" she cried piteously, and stumbled into the kitchen.

"Where's Roger?" she cried desperately, stumbling into the kitchen.

With a candle Aubrey found Titania sitting on the floor, very faint, but unhurt. What he had thought was blood proved to be a pool of ink from a quart bottle that had stood over Roger's desk. He picked her up like a child and carried her into the kitchen. "Stay here and don't stir," he said.

With a candle, Aubrey found Titania sitting on the floor, very faint but unharmed. What he thought was blood turned out to be a pool of ink from a quart bottle that had been on Roger's desk. He picked her up like a child and carried her into the kitchen. "Stay here and don’t move," he said.

By this time a crowd was already gathering on the pavement. Someone came in with a lantern. Three policemen appeared at the door.

By this time, a crowd had already started to gather on the pavement. Someone came in carrying a lantern. Three police officers showed up at the door.

"For God's sake," cried Aubrey, "get a light in here so we can see what's happened. Mifflin's buried in this mess somewhere. Someone ring for an ambulance."

"For God's sake," yelled Aubrey, "get a light in here so we can see what’s happened. Mifflin's buried in this mess somewhere. Someone call an ambulance."

The whole front of the Haunted Bookshop was a wreck. In the pale glimmer of the lantern it was a disastrous sight. Helen groped her way down the shattered aisle.

The entire front of the Haunted Bookshop was a mess. In the dim light of the lantern, it looked like a disaster. Helen felt her way down the broken aisle.

"Where was he?" she cried wildly.

"Where was he?" she exclaimed frantically.

"Thanks to that set of Trollope," said a voice in the remains of the Fiction alcove, "I think I'm all right. Books make good shock-absorbers. Is any one hurt?"

"Thanks to that collection of Trollope," said a voice from what's left of the Fiction alcove, "I think I'm good. Books make great shock-absorbers. Is anyone hurt?"

It was Roger, half stunned, but undamaged. He crawled out from under a case of shelves that had crumpled down upon him.

It was Roger, half stunned but unharmed. He crawled out from under a case of shelves that had collapsed on top of him.

"Bring that lantern over here," said Aubrey, pointing to a dark heap lying on the floor under the broken fragments of Roger's bulletin board.

"Bring that lantern over here," Aubrey said, pointing to a dark pile on the floor beneath the broken pieces of Roger's bulletin board.

It was the chef. He was dead. And clinging to his leg was all that was left of Bock.

It was the chef. He was dead. And hanging onto his leg was all that remained of Bock.




Chapter XV

Mr. Chapman Waves His Wand

Gissing Street will not soon forget the explosion at the Haunted Bookshop. When it was learned that the cellar of Weintraub's pharmacy contained just the information for which the Department of Justice had been looking for four years, and that the inoffensive German-American druggist had been the artisan of hundreds of incendiary bombs that had been placed on American and Allied shipping and in ammunition plants—and that this same Weintraub had committed suicide when arrested on Bromfield Street in Boston the next day—Gissing Street hummed with excitement. The Milwaukee Lunch did a roaring business among the sensation seekers who came to view the ruins of the bookshop. When it became known that fragments of a cabin plan of the George Washington had been found in Metzger's pocket, and the confession of an accomplice on the kitchen staff of the Octagon Hotel showed that the bomb, disguised as a copy of one of Woodrow Wilson's favourite books, was to have been placed in the Presidential suite of the steamship, indignation knew no bounds. Mrs. J. F. Smith left Mrs. Schiller's lodgings, declaring that she would stay no longer in a pro-German colony; and Aubrey was able at last to get a much-needed bath.

Gissing Street won't soon forget the explosion at the Haunted Bookshop. When it was discovered that the cellar of Weintraub's pharmacy held the information the Department of Justice had been searching for four years, and that the harmless German-American druggist had created hundreds of incendiary bombs placed on American and Allied ships and in ammunition factories—and that this same Weintraub had committed suicide when arrested on Bromfield Street in Boston the next day—Gissing Street buzzed with excitement. The Milwaukee Lunch was packed with thrill-seekers who came to view the ruins of the bookshop. When it was revealed that fragments of a cabin plan of the George Washington had been found in Metzger's pocket, and the confession of an accomplice from the kitchen staff of the Octagon Hotel indicated that the bomb, disguised as a copy of one of Woodrow Wilson's favorite books, was meant to be placed in the Presidential suite of the steamship, outrage reached new heights. Mrs. J. F. Smith left Mrs. Schiller's lodgings, declaring she would no longer stay in a pro-German area; and Aubrey was finally able to get a much-needed bath.

For the next three days he was too busy with agents of the Department of Justice to be able to carry on an investigation of his own that greatly occupied his mind. But late on Friday afternoon he called at the bookshop to talk things over.

For the next three days, he was too busy with agents from the Department of Justice to start his own investigation that was weighing heavily on his mind. But late Friday afternoon, he stopped by the bookstore to discuss everything.

The debris had all been neatly cleared away, and the shattered front of the building boarded up. Inside, Aubrey found Roger seated on the floor, looking over piles of volumes that were heaped pell-mell around him. Through Mr. Chapman's influence with a well-known firm of builders, the bookseller had been able to get men to work at once in making repairs, but even so it would be at least ten days, he said, before he could reopen for business. "I hate to lose the value of all this advertising," he lamented. "It isn't often that a second-hand bookstore gets onto the front pages of the newspapers."

The debris had all been cleared away, and the broken front of the building was boarded up. Inside, Aubrey found Roger sitting on the floor, surrounded by piles of books that were scattered everywhere. Thanks to Mr. Chapman's connections with a well-known construction company, the bookseller was able to get workers on the job immediately to make repairs, but even so, he said it would take at least ten days before he could reopen for business. "I hate to miss out on all this publicity," he complained. "It's not every day a second-hand bookstore makes it into the front pages of the newspapers."

"I thought you didn't believe in advertising," said Aubrey.

"I thought you didn't believe in advertising," Aubrey said.

"The kind of advertising I believe in," said Roger, "is the kind that doesn't cost you anything."

"The type of advertising I believe in," said Roger, "is the kind that doesn't cost you anything."

Aubrey smiled as he looked round at the dismantled shop. "It seems to me that this'll cost you a tidy bit when the bill comes in."

Aubrey smiled as he glanced around at the torn-apart shop. "It looks to me like this is going to cost you quite a lot when the bill shows up."

"My dear fellow," said Roger, "This is just what I needed. I was getting into a rut. The explosion has blown out a whole lot of books I had forgotten about and didn't even know I had. Look, here's an old copy of How to Be Happy Though Married, which I see the publisher lists as 'Fiction.' Here's Urn Burial, and The Love Affairs of a Bibliomaniac, and Mistletoe's Book of Deplorable Facts. I'm going to have a thorough house-cleaning. I'm thinking seriously of putting in a vacuum cleaner and a cash register. Titania was quite right, the place was too dirty. That girl has given me a lot of ideas."

"My dear friend," said Roger, "This is exactly what I needed. I was starting to feel stuck. The explosion has exposed a bunch of books I had forgotten about and didn’t even know I owned. Look, here’s an old copy of How to Be Happy Though Married, which I see the publisher labels as 'Fiction.' Here’s Urn Burial, and The Love Affairs of a Bibliomaniac, and Mistletoe's Book of Deplorable Facts. I’m planning to do a thorough cleaning. I’m seriously considering getting a vacuum cleaner and a cash register. Titania was totally right; the place was too dirty. That girl has given me a lot of ideas."

Aubrey wanted to ask where she was, but didn't like to say so point-blank.

Aubrey wanted to ask where she was, but she didn’t want to come out and say it outright.

"There's no question about it," said Roger, "an explosion now and then does one good. Since the reporters got here and dragged the whole yarn out of us, I've had half a dozen offers from publishers for my book, a lyceum bureau wants me to lecture on Bookselling as a Form of Public Service, I've had five hundred letters from people asking when the shop will reopen for business, and the American Booksellers' Association has invited me to give an address at its convention next spring. It's the first recognition I've ever had. If it weren't for poor dear old Bock—— Come, we've buried him in the back yard. I want to show you his grave."

"There's no doubt about it," said Roger, "an explosion every now and then does you good. Since the reporters arrived and pulled the whole story out of us, I've received several offers from publishers for my book, a lecture bureau wants me to talk about Bookselling as a Form of Public Service, I've gotten five hundred letters from people asking when the shop will reopen, and the American Booksellers' Association has invited me to speak at its convention next spring. It's the first recognition I've ever had. If it weren't for poor dear old Bock—Come on, we've buried him in the backyard. I want to show you his grave."

Over a pathetically small mound near the fence a bunch of big yellow chrysanthemums were standing in a vase.

Over a tiny mound by the fence, a bunch of big yellow chrysanthemums were in a vase.

"Titania put those there," said Roger. "She says she's going to plant a dogwood tree there in the spring. We intend to put up a little stone for him, and I'm trying to think of an inscription, I thought of De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum, but that's a bit too flippant."

"Titania put those there," Roger said. "She says she’s going to plant a dogwood tree there in the spring. We plan to put up a small stone for him, and I'm trying to come up with an inscription. I thought of 'De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum,' but that feels a bit too casual."

The living quarters of the house had not been damaged by the explosion, and Roger took Aubrey back to the den. "You've come just at the right time," he said. "Mr. Chapman's coming to dinner this evening, and we'll all have a good talk. There's a lot about this business I don't understand yet."

The living spaces of the house were unharmed by the explosion, and Roger led Aubrey back to the den. "You arrived just in time," he said. "Mr. Chapman's coming for dinner tonight, and we can all have a good discussion. There’s a lot about this situation that I still don't understand."

Aubrey was still keeping his eye open for a sign of Titania's presence, and Roger noticed his wandering gaze.

Aubrey was still watching for any sign of Titania, and Roger noticed his distracted stare.

"This is Miss Chapman's afternoon off," he said. "She got her first salary to-day, and was so much exhilarated that she went to New York to blow it in. She's out with her father. Excuse me, please, I'm going to help Helen get dinner ready."

"This is Miss Chapman's afternoon off," he said. "She got her first paycheck today and was so excited that she went to New York to spend it. She's out with her dad. Excuse me, I need to help Helen get dinner ready."

Aubrey sat down by the fire, and lit his pipe. The burden of his meditation was that it was just a week since he had first met Titania, and in all that week there had been no waking moment when he had not thought of her. He was wondering how long it might take for a girl to fall in love? A man—he knew now—could fall in love in five minutes, but how did it work with girls? He was also thinking what unique Daintybits advertising copy he could build (like all ad men he always spoke of building an ad, never of writing one) out of this affair if he could only use the inside stuff.

Aubrey settled by the fire and lit his pipe. The weight on his mind was that it had only been a week since he first met Titania, and during that week, there hadn't been a moment when he hadn't thought about her. He was wondering how long it usually takes for a girl to fall in love. He knew that a man could fall in love in just five minutes, but what was the process like for girls? He was also brainstorming how to create some unique Daintybits advertising copy (like all ad guys, he always referred to building an ad, never writing one) based on this experience if he could just tap into the inside scoop.

He heard a rustle behind him, and there she was. She had on a gray fur coat and a lively little hat. Her cheeks were delicately tinted by the winter air. Aubrey rose.

He heard a rustling sound behind him, and there she was. She wore a gray fur coat and a cute little hat. Her cheeks were gently colored by the cold winter air. Aubrey stood up.

"Why, Mr. Gilbert!" she said. "Where have you been keeping yourself when I wanted to see you so badly? I haven't seen you, not to talk to, since last Sunday."

"Why, Mr. Gilbert!" she said. "Where have you been hiding when I've wanted to see you so much? I haven't seen you, like, to talk to, since last Sunday."

He found it impossible to say anything intelligible. She threw off her coat, and went on, with a wistful gravity that became her even more than smiles:

He couldn't express anything clear. She took off her coat and continued, with a thoughtful seriousness that suited her even more than her smiles.

"Mr. Mifflin has told me some more about what you did last week—I mean, how you took a room across the street and spied upon that hateful man and saw through the whole thing when we were too blind to know what was going on. And I want to apologize for the silly things I said that Sunday morning. Will you forgive me?"

"Mr. Mifflin has shared more details about what you did last week—I mean, how you got a room across the street and watched that awful man and figured everything out when we were completely clueless. And I want to apologize for the silly things I said that Sunday morning. Will you forgive me?"

Aubrey had never felt his self-salesmanship ability at such a low ebb. To his unspeakable horror, he felt his eyes betray him. They grew moist.

Aubrey had never felt his ability to sell himself so low. To his utter horror, he felt his eyes betray him. They became watery.

"Please don't talk like that," he said. "I had no right to do what I did, anyway. And I was wrong in what I said about Mr. Mifflin. I don't wonder you were angry."

"Please don't talk like that," he said. "I had no right to do what I did, anyway. And I was wrong about what I said regarding Mr. Mifflin. I understand why you were angry."

"Now surely you're not going to deprive me of the pleasure of thanking you," she said. "You know as well as I do that you saved my life—all our lives, that night. I guess you'd have saved poor Bock's, too, if you could." Her eyes filled with tears.

"Now, you can't possibly deny me the joy of thanking you," she said. "You know just as well as I do that you saved my life—all of our lives, that night. I bet you would have saved poor Bock's too, if you could." Her eyes filled with tears.

"If anybody deserves credit, it's you," he said. "Why, if it hadn't been for you they'd have been away with that suitcase and probably Metzger would have got his bomb on board the ship and blown up the President——"

"If anyone deserves credit, it's you," he said. "Honestly, if it weren't for you, they would have taken that suitcase, and likely Metzger would have gotten his bomb on the ship and blown up the President——"

"I'm not arguing with you," she said. "I'm just thanking you."

"I'm not arguing with you," she said. "I'm just thanking you."

It was a happy little party that sat down in Roger's dining room that evening. Helen had prepared Eggs Samuel Butler in Aubrey's honour, and Mr. Chapman had brought two bottles of champagne to pledge the future success of the bookshop. Aubrey was called upon to announce the result of his conferences with the secret service men who had been looking up Weintraub's record.

It was a cheerful little gathering that settled in Roger's dining room that evening. Helen had made Eggs Samuel Butler in honor of Aubrey, and Mr. Chapman had brought two bottles of champagne to toast the future success of the bookstore. Aubrey was asked to share the outcome of his meetings with the secret service agents who had been checking Weintraub's background.

"It all seems so simple now," he said, "that I wonder we didn't see through it at once. You see, we all made the mistake of assuming that German plotting would stop automatically when the armistice was signed. It seems that this man Weintraub was one of the most dangerous spies Germany had in this country. Thirty or forty fires and explosions on our ships at sea are said to have been due to his work. As he had lived here so long and taken out citizen's papers, no one suspected him. But after his death, his wife, whom he had treated very brutally, gave way and told a great deal about his activities. According to her, as soon as it was announced that the President would go to the Peace Conference, Weintraub made up his mind to get a bomb into the President's cabin on board the George Washington. Mrs. Weintraub tried to dissuade him from it, as she was in secret opposed to these murderous plots of his, but he threatened to kill her if she thwarted him. She lived in terror of her life. I can believe it, for I remember her face when her husband looked at her.

"It all seems so simple now," he said, "that I wonder why we didn't see through it right away. You see, we all made the mistake of thinking that German plotting would automatically stop when the armistice was signed. It turns out that this man Weintraub was one of the most dangerous spies Germany had in this country. It's said that thirty or forty fires and explosions on our ships at sea were due to his actions. Since he had lived here for so long and had gotten citizenship, no one suspected him. But after he died, his wife, whom he had treated very poorly, broke down and revealed a lot about his activities. According to her, as soon as it was announced that the President would attend the Peace Conference, Weintraub decided to get a bomb into the President's cabin on board the George Washington. Mrs. Weintraub tried to talk him out of it, as she secretly opposed his murderous plots, but he threatened to kill her if she interfered. She lived in fear for her life. I can believe it, because I remember the look on her face when her husband stared at her."

"Of course to make the bomb was simple enough for Weintraub. He had an infernally complete laboratory in the cellar of his house, where he had made hundreds. The problem was, how to make a bomb that would not look suspicious, and how to get it into the President's private cabin. He hit on the idea of binding it into the cover of a book. How he came to choose that particular volume, I don't know."

"Of course, making the bomb was easy for Weintraub. He had a fully equipped lab in the basement of his house where he had created hundreds. The challenge was figuring out how to make a bomb that wouldn't raise suspicion and how to sneak it into the President's private cabin. He decided to hide it in the cover of a book. I don't know how he picked that specific book."

"I think probably I gave him the idea quite innocently," said Roger. "He used to come in here a good deal and one day he asked me whether Mr. Wilson was a great reader. I said that I believed he was, and then mentioned the Cromwell, which I had heard was one of Wilson's favourite books. Weintraub was much interested and said he must read the book some day. I remember now that he stood in that alcove for some time, looking over it."

"I think I probably gave him the idea pretty innocently," said Roger. "He used to come in here a lot, and one day he asked me if Mr. Wilson was a big reader. I said I thought he was, and then I mentioned the Cromwell, which I had heard was one of Wilson's favorite books. Weintraub was really interested and said he had to read it someday. I remember he stood in that alcove for a while, looking it over."

"Well," said Aubrey, "it must have seemed to him that luck was playing into his hands. This man Metzger, who had been an assistant chef at the Octagon for years, was slated to go on board the George Washington with the party of cooks from that hotel who were to prepare the President's meals. Weintraub was informed of all this from someone higher up in the German spy organization. Metzger, who was known as Messier at the hotel, was a very clever chef, and had fake passports as a Swiss citizen. He was another tool of the organization. By the original scheme there would have been no direct communication between Weintraub and Metzger, but the go-between was spotted by the Department of Justice on another count, and is now behind bars at Atlanta.

"Well," Aubrey said, "it must have seemed to him that luck was on his side. This guy Metzger, who had been an assistant chef at the Octagon for years, was set to board the George Washington with the group of cooks from that hotel who were going to prepare the President's meals. Weintraub heard all this from someone higher up in the German spy organization. Metzger, who went by Messier at the hotel, was a really skilled chef and had fake passports as a Swiss citizen. He was just another pawn of the organization. According to the original plan, there wouldn't have been any direct communication between Weintraub and Metzger, but the messenger got caught by the Department of Justice on another charge and is now in jail in Atlanta."

"It seems that Weintraub had conceived the idea that the least suspicious way of passing his messages to Metzger would be to slip them into a copy of some book—a book little likely to be purchased—in a second-hand bookshop. Metzger had been informed what the book was, but—perhaps owing to the unexpected removal of the go-between—did not know in which shop he was to find it. That explains why so many booksellers had inquiries from him recently for a copy of the Cromwell volume.

"It seems that Weintraub had come up with the idea that the least suspicious way to send his messages to Metzger would be to slip them into a copy of a book—something unlikely to be bought—in a second-hand bookstore. Metzger had been told which book it was, but—possibly due to the sudden absence of the messenger—did not know in which shop to look for it. That’s why so many booksellers had received inquiries from him recently about a copy of the Cromwell volume."

"Weintraub, of course, was not at all anxious to have any direct dealings with Metzger, as the druggist had a high regard for his own skin. When the chef was finally informed where the bookshop was in which he was to see the book, he hurried over here. Weintraub had picked out this shop not only because it was as unlikely as any place on earth to be suspected as a channel of spy codes, but also because he had your confidence and could drop in frequently without arousing surprise. The first time Metzger came here happened to be the night I dined with you, as you remember."

"Weintraub, of course, didn’t want to have any direct dealings with Metzger, since the druggist was quite protective of his own safety. When the chef was finally told where the bookstore was where he was supposed to see the book, he rushed over. Weintraub chose this shop not only because it was about as unlikely a place as any to be suspected of passing spy codes, but also because he had your trust and could visit frequently without raising any eyebrows. The first time Metzger came here was the night I had dinner with you, as you recall."

Roger nodded. "He asked for the book, and to my surprise, it wasn't there."

Roger nodded. "He asked for the book, and to my surprise, it wasn't there."

"No: for the excellent reason that Weintraub had taken it some days before, to measure it so he could build his infernal machine to fit, and also to have it rebound. He needed the original binding as a case for his bomb. The following night, as you told me, it came back. He brought it himself, having provided himself with a key to your front door."

"No: for the good reason that Weintraub had taken it a few days earlier, to measure it so he could build his infernal machine to fit, and also to have it rebound. He needed the original binding as a casing for his bomb. The next night, as you told me, it came back. He brought it himself after getting a key to your front door."

"It was gone again on Thursday night, when the Corn Cob Club met here," said Mr. Chapman.

"It was gone again on Thursday night, when the Corn Cob Club met here," said Mr. Chapman.

"Yes, that time Metzger had taken it," said Aubrey. "He misunderstood his instructions, and thought he was to steal the book. You see, owing to the absence of their third man, they were working at cross purposes. Metzger, I think, was only intended to get his information out of the book, and leave it where it was. At any rate, he was puzzled, and inserted that ad in the Times the next morning—that LOST ad, you remember. By that, I imagine, he intended to convey the idea that he had located the bookshop, but didn't know what to do next. And the date he mentioned in the ad, midnight on Tuesday, December third, was to inform Weintraub (of whose identity he was still ignorant) when Metzger was to go on board the ship. Weintraub had been instructed by their spy organization to watch the LOST and FOUND ads."

"Yeah, that time Metzger took it," Aubrey said. "He misunderstood his instructions and thought he was supposed to steal the book. You see, since their third man was absent, they were working at cross purposes. Metzger was probably just meant to gather information from the book and leave it there. Anyway, he got confused and placed that ad in the Times the next morning—that LOST ad, you remember. I think he used that to suggest that he had found the bookstore but didn’t know what to do next. And the date he mentioned in the ad, midnight on Tuesday, December third, was to inform Weintraub (whose identity he still didn't know) when Metzger was supposed to board the ship. Weintraub had been told by their spy organization to keep an eye on the LOST and FOUND ads."

"Think of it!" cried Titania.

"Just think about it!" cried Titania.

"Well," continued Aubrey, "all this may not be 100 per cent. accurate, but after putting things together this is how it dopes out. Weintraub, who was as canny as they make them, saw he'd have to get into direct touch with Metzger. He sent him word, on the Friday, to come over to see him and bring the book. Metzger, meanwhile, had had a bad fright when I spoke to him in the hotel elevator. He returned the book to the shop that night, as Mrs. Mifflin remembers. Then, when I stopped in at the drug store on my way home, he must have been with Weintraub. I found the Cromwell cover in the drug-store bookcase—why Weintraub was careless enough to leave it there I can't guess—and they spotted me right away as having some kind of hunch. So they followed me over the Bridge and tried to get rid of me. It was because I got that cover on Friday night that Weintraub broke into the shop again early Sunday morning. He had to have the cover of the book to bind his bomb in."

"Well," Aubrey continued, "this might not be 100 percent accurate, but after piecing everything together, here's what I think happened. Weintraub, who was as shrewd as they come, realized he needed to get in touch with Metzger directly. He sent a message on Friday for Metzger to come see him and bring the book. Meanwhile, Metzger was already shaken after our encounter in the hotel elevator. That night, he returned the book to the shop, as Mrs. Mifflin remembers. Then, when I stopped by the drugstore on my way home, he must have been with Weintraub. I found the Cromwell cover in the drugstore bookcase—I'm not sure why Weintraub was careless enough to leave it there—and they immediately recognized that I had some sort of intuition. So they followed me over the bridge and tried to shake me off. It was because I found that cover on Friday night that Weintraub broke into the shop again early Sunday morning. He needed the book cover to bind his bomb."

Aubrey was agreeably conscious of the close attention of his audience. He caught Titania's gaze, and flushed a little.

Aubrey was pleasantly aware of the intense attention from his audience. He caught Titania's gaze and felt a bit embarrassed.

"That's pretty nearly all there is to it," he said. "I knew that if those guys were so keen to put me out of the way there must be something rather rotten on foot. I came over to Brooklyn the next afternoon, Saturday, and took a room across the street."

"That's pretty much all there is to it," he said. "I figured that if those guys were so determined to get rid of me, there had to be something really shady going on. I came over to Brooklyn the next afternoon, Saturday, and got a room across the street."

"And we went to the movies," chirped Titania.

"And we went to the movies," said Titania cheerfully.

"The rest of it I think you all know—except Metzger's visit to my lodgings that night." He described the incident. "You see they were trailing me pretty close. If I hadn't happened to notice the cigar at my window I guess he'd have had me on toast. Of course you know how wrongly I doped it out. I thought Mr. Mifflin was running with them, and I owe him my apology for that. He's laid me out once on that score, over in Philadelphia."

"The rest of it, I think you all know—except for Metzger's visit to my place that night." He recounted the incident. "You see, they were following me pretty closely. If I hadn’t happened to notice the cigar at my window, I guess he would have had me for sure. Of course, you know how wrongly I figured it out. I thought Mr. Mifflin was in on it with them, and I owe him an apology for that. He already called me out on that once in Philadelphia."

Humourously, Aubrey narrated how he had sleuthed the bookseller to Ludlow Street, and had been worsted in battle.

Humorously, Aubrey told how he tracked down the bookseller to Ludlow Street and ended up losing the fight.

"I think they counted on disposing of me sooner or later," said Aubrey. "They framed up that telephone call to get Mr. Mifflin out of town. The point in having Metzger come to the bookshop to get the suitcase was to clear Weintraub's skirts if possible. Apparently it was just a bag of old books. The bombed book, I guess, was perfectly harmless until any one tried to open it."

"I think they were planning to get rid of me eventually," Aubrey said. "They set up that phone call to get Mr. Mifflin out of town. The whole point of having Metzger come to the bookstore to grab the suitcase was to cover for Weintraub as much as possible. It seems like it was just a bag of old books. The bombed book, I assume, was completely safe until someone tried to open it."

"You both got back just in the nick of time," said Titania admiringly. "You see I was all alone most of the afternoon. Weintraub left the suitcase about two o'clock. Metzger came for it about six. I refused to let him have it. He was very persistent, and I had to threaten to set Bock at him. It was all I could do to hold the dear old dog in, he was so keen to go for Metzger. The chef went away, and I suppose he went up to see Weintraub about it. I hid the suitcase in my room. Mr. Mifflin had forbidden me to touch it, but I thought that the safest thing to do. Then Mrs. Mifflin came in. We let Bock into the yard for a run, and were getting supper. I heard the bell ring, and went into the shop. There were the two Germans, pulling down the shades. I asked what they meant by it, and they grabbed me and told me to shut up. Then Metzger pointed a pistol at me while the other one tied up Mrs. Mifflin."

"You both got back just in time," Titania said, admiringly. "I was all alone for most of the afternoon. Weintraub dropped off the suitcase around two o'clock. Metzger came to pick it up around six, but I wouldn’t let him have it. He was really pushy, and I had to threaten to unleash Bock on him. It was a struggle to keep that dear old dog in; he was itching to go after Metzger. The chef left, and I guess he went to talk to Weintraub about it. I hid the suitcase in my room. Mr. Mifflin had told me not to touch it, but I thought that was the safest thing to do. Then Mrs. Mifflin came in. We let Bock out into the yard to run around while we were getting dinner ready. I heard the doorbell ring and went into the shop. There were the two Germans pulling down the shades. I asked what they were doing, and they grabbed me and told me to be quiet. Then Metzger pointed a gun at me while the other one tied up Mrs. Mifflin."

"The damned scoundrels!" cried Aubrey. "They got what was coming to them."

"The damn scoundrels!" shouted Aubrey. "They got what they deserved."

"Well, my friends," said Mr. Chapman, "Let's thank heaven that it ended no worse. Mr. Gilbert, I haven't told you yet how I feel about the whole affair. That'll come later. I'd like to propose the health of Mr. Aubrey Gilbert, who is certainly the hero of this film!"

"Well, my friends," said Mr. Chapman, "Let's be grateful that it didn't turn out worse. Mr. Gilbert, I haven't shared my thoughts on the whole situation yet. That's for later. I'd like to propose a toast to Mr. Aubrey Gilbert, who is definitely the hero of this story!"

They drank the toast with cheers, and Aubrey blushed becomingly.

They raised their glasses with cheers, and Aubrey blushed charmingly.

"Oh, I forgot something!" cried Titania. "When I went shopping this afternoon I stopped in at Brentano's, and was lucky enough to find just what I wanted. It's for Mr. Gilbert, as a souvenir of the Haunted Bookshop."

"Oh, I forgot something!" exclaimed Titania. "When I went shopping this afternoon, I stopped by Brentano's and was lucky enough to find exactly what I needed. It's for Mr. Gilbert, as a memento of the Haunted Bookshop."

She ran to the sideboard and brought back a parcel.

She ran to the sideboard and grabbed a package.

Aubrey opened it with delighted agitation. It was a copy of Carlyle's Cromwell. He tried to stammer his thanks, but what he saw—or thought he saw—in Titania's sparkling face—unmanned him.

Aubrey opened it with excited anticipation. It was a copy of Carlyle's Cromwell. He tried to stammer his thanks, but what he saw—or thought he saw—in Titania's sparkling face—overwhelmed him.

"The same edition!" said Roger. "Now let's see what those mystic page numbers are! Gilbert, have you got your memorandum?"

"The same edition!" Roger said. "Now let's check out those mysterious page numbers! Gilbert, do you have your notes?"

Aubrey took out his notebook. "Here we are," he said. "This is what Weintraub wrote in the back of the cover."

Aubrey pulled out his notebook. "Here it is," he said. "This is what Weintraub wrote on the back of the cover."

153 (3) 1, 2.

153 (3) 1, 2.

Roger glanced at the notation.

Roger looked at the note.

"That ought to be easy," he said. "You see in this edition three volumes are bound in one. Let's look at page 153 in the third volume, the first and second lines."

"That should be easy," he said. "You see in this edition that three volumes are bound into one. Let's check out page 153 in the third volume, the first and second lines."

Aubrey turned to the place. He read, and smiled.

Aubrey turned to the spot. He read and smiled.

"Right you are," he said.

"You’re right," he said.

"Read it!" they all cried.

"Read it!" they all shouted.

"To seduce the Protector's guard, to blow up the Protector in his bedroom, and do other little fiddling things."

"To charm the Protector's guard, to blow up the Protector in his bedroom, and do other small, sneaky things."

"I shouldn't wonder if that's where he got his idea," said Roger. "What have I been saying right along—that books aren't merely dead things!"

"I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where he got his idea," said Roger. "What have I been saying all along—that books aren’t just lifeless objects!"

"Good gracious," said Titania. "You told me that books are explosives. You were right, weren't you! But it's lucky Mr. Gilbert didn't hear you say it or he'd certainly have suspected you!"

"Wow," said Titania. "You said books are like explosives. You were right, weren't you! But it's a good thing Mr. Gilbert didn't hear you say that, or he definitely would have thought you're up to something!"

"The joke is on me," said Roger.

"The joke is on me," Roger said.

"Well, I'VE got a toast to propose," said Titania. "Here's to the memory of Bock, the dearest, bravest dog I ever met!"

"Well, I've got a toast to make," said Titania. "Here's to the memory of Bock, the sweetest, most courageous dog I ever knew!"

They drank it with due gravity.

They drank it intently.

"Well, good people," said Mr. Chapman, "there's nothing we can do for Bock now. But we can do something for the rest of us. I've been talking with Titania, Mr. Mifflin. I'm bound to say that after this disaster my first thought was to get her out of the book business as fast as I could. I thought it was a little too exciting for her. You know I sent her over here to have a quiet time and calm down a bit. But she wouldn't hear of leaving. And if I'm going to have a family interest in the book business I want to do something to justify it. I know your idea about travelling book-wagons, and taking literature into the countryside. Now if you and Mrs. Mifflin can find the proper people to run them, I'll finance a fleet of ten of those Parnassuses you're always talking about, and have them built in time to go on the road next spring. How about it?"

"Well, good people," Mr. Chapman said, "there's nothing we can do for Bock right now. But we can do something for the rest of us. I've been talking with Titania, Mr. Mifflin. I have to admit that after this disaster, my first thought was to get her out of the book business as quickly as possible. I thought it was a bit too intense for her. You know I sent her over here to have a peaceful time and relax a bit. But she refused to leave. And if I’m going to have a family stake in the book business, I want to do something to make it worthwhile. I know your idea about traveling book-wagons and bringing literature to the countryside. Now, if you and Mrs. Mifflin can find the right people to run them, I’ll finance a fleet of ten of those Parnassuses you’re always talking about and have them built in time to hit the road next spring. What do you think?"

Roger and Helen looked at each other, and at Mr. Chapman. In a flash Roger saw one of his dearest dreams coming true. Titania, to whom this was a surprise, leaped from her chair and ran to kiss her father, crying, "Oh, Daddy, you ARE a darling!"

Roger and Helen exchanged glances with Mr. Chapman. In an instant, Roger realized that one of his biggest dreams was about to come true. Titania, surprised by this, jumped out of her chair and rushed to kiss her father, exclaiming, "Oh, Daddy, you ARE the best!"

Roger rose solemnly and gave Mr. Chapman his hand.

Roger stood up seriously and shook Mr. Chapman’s hand.

"My dear sir," he said, "Miss Titania has found the right word. You are an honour to human nature, sir, and I hope you'll never live to regret it. This is the happiest moment of my life."

"My dear sir," he said, "Miss Titania has found the right word. You are an honor to humanity, sir, and I hope you never come to regret it. This is the happiest moment of my life."

"Then that's settled," said Mr. Chapman. "We'll go over the details later. Now there's another thing on my mind. Perhaps I shouldn't bring up business matters here, but this is a kind of family party—Mr. Gilbert, it's my duty to inform you that I intend to take my advertising out of the hands of the Grey-Matter Agency." Aubrey's heart sank. He had feared a catastrophe of this kind from the first. Naturally a hard-headed business man would not care to entrust such vast interests to a firm whose young men went careering about like secret service agents, hunting for spies, eavesdropping in alleys, and accusing people of pro-germanism. Business, Aubrey said to himself, is built upon Confidence, and what confidence could Mr. Chapman have in such vagabond and romantic doings? Still, he felt that he had done nothing to be ashamed of.

"Well, that's settled," said Mr. Chapman. "We'll go over the details later. But there's something else on my mind. I know I probably shouldn't bring up business at a family gathering, but Mr. Gilbert, I need to let you know that I plan to take my advertising away from the Grey-Matter Agency." Aubrey's heart sank. He had dreaded a situation like this from the start. Naturally, a practical business person wouldn't want to trust such significant interests to a company whose young employees acted like secret agents, searching for spies, eavesdropping in alleys, and accusing people of pro-German leanings. Business, Aubrey thought to himself, is built on trust, and what trust could Mr. Chapman have in such erratic and dramatic behavior? Still, he felt he had nothing to be ashamed of.

"I'm sorry, sir," he said. "We have tried to give you service. I assure you that I've spent by far the larger part of my time at the office in working up plans for your campaigns."

"I'm sorry, sir," he said. "We've tried to provide you with good service. I promise you that I've spent most of my time at the office working on plans for your campaigns."

He could not bear to look at Titania, ashamed that she should be the witness of his humiliation.

He couldn't stand to look at Titania, embarrassed that she had to see him in his moment of shame.

"That's exactly it," said Mr. Chapman. "I don't want just the larger part of your time. I want all of it. I want you to accept the position of assistant advertising manager of the Daintybits Corporation."

"That's exactly it," Mr. Chapman said. "I don't just want the majority of your time. I want all of it. I want you to take the position of assistant advertising manager at the Daintybits Corporation."

They all cheered, and for the third time that evening Aubrey felt more overwhelmed than any good advertising man is accustomed to feel. He tried to express his delight, and then added:

They all cheered, and for the third time that evening, Aubrey felt more overwhelmed than any good advertising guy usually does. He tried to share his excitement and then added:

"I think it's my turn to propose a toast. I give you the health of Mr. and Mrs. Mifflin, and their Haunted Bookshop, the place where I first—I first——"

"I think it's my turn to raise a glass. Here’s to the health of Mr. and Mrs. Mifflin, and their Haunted Bookshop, the place where I first—I first——"

His courage failed him, and he concluded, "First learned the meaning of literature."

His courage left him, and he concluded, "First understood the meaning of literature."

"Suppose we adjourn to the den," said Helen. "We have so many delightful things to talk over, and I know Roger wants to tell you all about the improvements he is planning for the shop."

"How about we move to the den?" Helen said. "We have so many great things to discuss, and I know Roger is eager to share all the improvements he has in mind for the shop."

Aubrey lingered to be the last, and it is to be conjectured that Titania did not drop her handkerchief merely by accident. The others had already crossed the hall into the sitting room.

Aubrey stayed back to be the last one, and it's safe to guess that Titania didn't drop her handkerchief by chance. The others had already gone through the hall into the sitting room.

Their eyes met, and Aubrey could feel himself drowned in her steady, honest gaze. He was tortured by the bliss of being so near her, and alone. The rest of the world seemed to shred away and leave them standing in that little island of light where the tablecloth gleamed under the lamp.

Their eyes locked, and Aubrey felt himself getting lost in her steady, honest gaze. He was tormented by the sheer joy of being so close to her, yet feeling alone. The rest of the world seemed to fade away, leaving them standing in that small island of light where the tablecloth shone under the lamp.

In his hand he clutched the precious book. Out of all the thousand things he thought, there was only one he dared to say.

In his hand, he held the precious book. Out of all the thousands of thoughts he had, there was only one he felt brave enough to express.

"Will you write my name in it?"

"Will you write my name in it?"

"I'd love to," she said, a little shakily, for she, too, was strangely alarmed at certain throbbings.

"I'd love to," she said, a bit nervously, because she was also unexpectedly unsettled by certain sensations.

He gave her his pen, and she sat down at the table. She wrote quickly

He handed her his pen, and she took a seat at the table. She wrote swiftly.


                 For Aubrey Gilbert
                   From Titania Chapman
                       With much gr
                 For Aubrey Gilbert
                   From Titania Chapman
                       With much gr

She paused.

She took a break.

"Oh," she said quickly. "Do I have to finish it now?"

"Oh," she said quickly. "Do I have to finish it right now?"

She looked up at him, with the lamplight shining on her vivid face. Aubrey felt oddly stupefied, and was thinking only of the little golden sparkle of her eyelashes. This time her eyes were the first to turn away.

She looked up at him, with the lamp light shining on her bright face. Aubrey felt strangely dazed, only thinking about the tiny golden sparkle of her eyelashes. This time, her eyes were the first to look away.

"You see," she said with a funny little quaver, "I might want to change the wording." And she ran from the room.

"You see," she said with a slight tremor in her voice, "I might want to rephrase that." And she ran out of the room.

As she entered the den, her father was speaking. "You know," he said, "I'm rather glad she wants to stay in the book business." Roger looked up at her.

As she walked into the den, her dad was talking. "You know," he said, "I'm pretty glad she wants to stick with the book business." Roger glanced up at her.

"Well," he said, "I believe it agrees with her! You know, the beauty of living in a place like this is that you get so absorbed in the books you don't have any temptation to worry about anything else. The people in books become more real to you than any one in actual life."

"Well," he said, "I think she fits right in! You know, the great thing about living in a place like this is that you get so wrapped up in the books that you don't have any urge to stress about anything else. The characters in books feel more real to you than anyone in real life."

Titania, sitting on the arm of Mrs. Mifflin's chair, took Helen's hand, unobserved by the others. They smiled at each other slyly.

Titania, perched on the arm of Mrs. Mifflin's chair, took Helen's hand, unnoticed by the rest. They exchanged sly smiles.






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