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FIVE CHILDREN
AND IT
BY
E. NESBIT
"The Would-Be Goods," etc.

NEW YORK
DODD, MEAD & COMPANY
JOHN BLAND
My Lamb, you are so very small, You have not learned to read at all; Yet never a printed book withstands The urgence of your dimpled hands. So, though this book is for yourself, Let mother keep it on the shelf Till you can read. O days that pass, That day will come too soon, alas! |
NOTE
the Strand Magazine under the title of
"THE PSAMMEAD."
CONTENTS
CHAPTER | PAGE | |
I | Beautiful like the Day | 1 |
II | Golden Guineas | 36 |
III | Being Desired | 70 |
IV | Wings | 108 |
V | No Wings | 141 |
VI | A Castle and No Dinner | 159 |
VII | A Siege and a Bed | 183 |
VIII | Bigger than the Baker Boy | 203 |
IX | Adult | 236 |
X | Scalps | 261 |
XI | The Final Wish | 287 |
ILLUSTRATIONS
The Psammead | Frontispiece | ||
That First Glorious Rush Round the Garden | Facing | page | 2 |
Cyril Had Nipped His Finger in the Door of a Hutch | " | " | 4 |
Anthea Suddenly Screamed, "It's Alive!" | " | " | 12 |
The Baby Did Not Know Them! | " | " | 28 |
Martha Emptied a Toilet-jug of Cold Water Over Him | " | " | 32 |
The Rain Fell in Slow Drops on to Anthea's Face | " | " | 36 |
He Staggered, and Had to Sit Down Again in a Hurry | " | " | 50 |
Mr. Beale Snatched the Coin, Bit It, and Put It in His Pocket | " | " | 58 |
They Had Run Into Martha and the Baby | " | " | 64 |
He Said, "Now Then!" to the Policeman and Mr. Peasemarsh | " | " | 66 |
The Lucky Children Hurriedly Started for the Gravel Pit | " | " | 78 |
"Poof, poof, poofy," He Said, and Made a Grab | " | " | 86 |
At Double-quick Time Ran the Twinkling Legs of the Lamb's Brothers and Sisters | " | " | 88 |
The Next Minute the Two Were Fighting | " | " | 90 |
He Snatched the Baby from Anthea | " | " | 94 |
He Consented to Let the Two Gypsy Women Feed Him | " | " | 98 |
The Sand-fairy Blew Himself Out | " | " | 122 |
They Flew Over Rochester | " | " | 126 |
The Farmer Sat Down on the Grass, Suddenly and Heavily | " | " | 128 |
Everyone Now Turned Out His Pockets | " | " | 132 |
These Were the Necessaries of Life | " | " | 134 |
The Children Were Fast Asleep | " | " | 138 |
The Keeper Spoke Deep-Chested Words through the Keyhole | " | " | 150 |
There the Castle Stood, Black and Stately | " | " | 164 |
Robert Was Dragged Forthwith—by the Reluctant Ear | " | " | 166 |
He Wiped Away a Manly Tear | " | " | 168 |
"Oh, Do, Do, Do, Do!" Said Robert | " | " | 174 |
The Man Fell with a Splash Into the Moat-water | " | " | 196 |
Anthea Tilted the Pot over the Nearest Leadhole | " | " | 198 |
He Pulled Robert's Hair | " | " | 210 |
"The Sammyadd's Done Us Again," Said Cyril | " | " | 214 |
He Lifted Up the Baker's Boy and Set Him on Top of the Haystack | " | " | 216 |
It Was a Strange Sensation Being Wheeled in a Pony-carriage by a Giant | " | " | 220 |
When the Girl Came Out She Was Pale and Trembling | " | " | 228 |
"When Your Time's Up Come to Me" | " | " | 230 |
He Opened the Case and Used the Whole Thing as a Garden Spade | " | " | 238 |
She Did It Gently by Tickling His Nose with a Twig of Honeysuckle | " | " | 244 |
There, Sure Enough, Stood a Bicycle | " | " | 248 |
The Punctured State of It Was Soon Evident | " | " | 250 |
The Grown-up Lamb Struggled | " | " | 258 |
She Broke Open the Missionary Box with the Poker | " | " | 266 |
"Ye Seek a Pow-wow?" He Said | " | " | 278 |
Bright Knives Were Being Brandished All about Them | " | " | 284 |
She Was Clasped in Eight Loving Arms | " | " | 294 |
"We Found a Fairy," Said Jane, Obediently | " | " | 298 |
It Burrowed, and Disappeared, Scratching Fiercely to the Last | " | " | 308 |
CHAPTER I
BEAUTIFUL AS THE DAY
The house was three miles from the station, but, before the dusty hired hack had rattled along for five minutes, the children began to put their heads out of the carriage window and say, "Aren't we nearly there?" And every time they passed a house, which was not very often, they all said, "Oh, is this it?" But it never was, till they reached the very top of the hill, just past the chalk-quarry and before you come to the gravel-pit. And then there was a white house with a green garden and an orchard beyond, and mother said, "Here we are!"
The house was three miles from the station, but after the dusty hired cab had rattled along for five minutes, the kids started sticking their heads out of the car window and saying, "Are we there yet?" And every time they passed a house, which didn't happen very often, they all asked, "Oh, is this it?" But it never was, until they reached the very top of the hill, just past the chalk quarry and before the gravel pit. And then there was a white house with a green garden and an orchard beyond, and mom said, "Here we are!"
"How white the house is," said Robert.
"Look how white the house is," said Robert.
"And look at the roses," said Anthea.
"And check out the roses," said Anthea.
"And the plums," said Jane.
"And the plums," Jane said.
"It is rather decent," Cyril admitted.
"It's pretty good," Cyril admitted.
The Baby said, "Wanty go walky;" and the hack stopped with a last rattle and jolt.[Pg 2]
The baby said, "I want to go for a walk," and the cab came to a stop with one last rattle and jolt.[Pg 2]
Everyone got its legs kicked or its feet trodden on in the scramble to get out of the carriage that very minute, but no one seemed to mind. Mother, curiously enough, was in no hurry to get out; and even when she had come down slowly and by the step, and with no jump at all, she seemed to wish to see the boxes carried in, and even to pay the driver, instead of joining in that first glorious rush round the garden and orchard and the thorny, thistly, briery, brambly wilderness beyond the broken gate and the dry fountain at the side of the house. But the children were wiser, for once. It was not really a pretty house at all; it was quite ordinary, and mother thought it was rather inconvenient, and was quite annoyed at there being no shelves, to speak of, and hardly a cupboard in the place. Father used to say that the iron-work on the roof and coping was like an architect's nightmare. But the house was deep in the country, with no other house in sight, and the children had been in London for two years, without so much as once going to the seaside even for a day by an excursion [Pg 3]train, and so the White House seemed to them a sort of Fairy Palace set down in an Earthly Paradise. For London is like prison for children, especially if their relations are not rich.
Everyone got their legs kicked or feet stepped on in the rush to get out of the carriage at that moment, but no one seemed to mind. Surprisingly, Mom wasn't in a hurry to get out; even after she slowly stepped down without jumping at all, she seemed more interested in watching the bags being carried in and even paying the driver than joining the exciting dash around the garden, orchard, and the thorny, tangled wilderness beyond the broken gate and the dry fountain beside the house. But the kids were smarter this time. The house wasn't really pretty at all; it was quite ordinary, and Mom thought it was pretty inconvenient, getting annoyed at the lack of shelves and hardly any cupboards in the place. Dad used to say the ironwork on the roof and edges looked like an architect's nightmare. But the house was deep in the countryside, with no other houses in sight, and the kids had been in London for two years without even a day trip to the beach, so the White House felt like a kind of Fairy Palace dropped into an Earthly Paradise. Because London feels like a prison for kids, especially if their family isn't wealthy.
Of course there are the shops and theatres, and entertainments and things, but if your people are rather poor you don't get taken to the theatres, and you can't buy things out of the shops; and London has none of those nice things that children may play with without hurting the things or themselves—such as trees and sand and woods and waters. And nearly everything in London is the wrong sort of shape—all straight lines and flat streets, instead of being all sorts of odd shapes, like things are in the country. Trees are all different, as you know, and I am sure some tiresome person must have told you that there are no two blades of grass exactly alike. But in streets, where the blades of grass don't grow, everything is like everything else. This is why many children who live in the towns are so extremely naughty. They do not know what is the matter with them, and no more [Pg 4]do their fathers and mothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, tutors, governesses, and nurses; but I know. And so do you, now. Children in the country are naughty sometimes, too, but that is for quite different reasons.
Of course, there are shops, theaters, and entertainment options, but if your family doesn’t have much money, you don’t get to go to the theaters, and you can’t buy things from the shops. Plus, London lacks those nice things that kids can play with without getting hurt, like trees, sand, woods, and water. Almost everything in London is the wrong shape—all straight lines and flat streets, instead of the mix of odd shapes you see in the countryside. Trees are all different, as you know, and I’m sure someone has told you that no two blades of grass are exactly alike. But in the streets, where grass doesn’t grow, everything looks the same. That’s why many kids who live in towns are really naughty. They don’t know what’s wrong with them, and neither do their dads, moms, aunts, uncles, cousins, tutors, governesses, and nurses; but I do. And now you do, too. Kids in the country can be naughty sometimes, but for totally different reasons.
The children had explored the gardens and the outhouses thoroughly before they were caught and cleaned for tea, and they saw quite well that they were certain to be happy at the White House. They thought so from the first moment, but when they found the back of the house covered with jasmine, all in white flower, and smelling like a bottle of the most expensive perfume that is ever given for a birthday present; and when they had seen the lawn, all green and smooth, and quite different from the brown grass in the gardens at Camden Town; and when they found the stable with a loft over it and some old hay still left, they were almost certain; and when Robert had found the broken swing and tumbled out of it and got a bump on his head the size of an egg, and Cyril had nipped his finger in the door of a hutch that seemed made to keep rab[Pg 5]bits in, if you ever had any, they had no longer any doubts whatever.
The kids had thoroughly explored the gardens and the outbuildings before they were rounded up and cleaned up for tea, and they realized they were definitely going to be happy at the White House. They felt this from the very first moment, but when they saw the back of the house covered in jasmine, all in white flowers, smelling like the most expensive perfume you could ever get as a birthday gift; and when they looked at the lawn, all green and smooth, so different from the brown grass in the gardens back in Camden Town; and when they checked out the stable with a loft above and some old hay still lying around, they were almost convinced; and when Robert found the broken swing, fell out, and ended up with a bump on his head the size of an egg, and Cyril pinched his finger in the door of a hutch that seemed meant to keep rabbits if you ever had any, they had no doubts left at all.
The best part of it all was that there were no rules about not going to places and not doing things. In London almost everything is labelled "You mustn't touch," and though the label is invisible it's just as bad, because you know it's there, or if you don't you very soon get told.
The best part of it all was that there were no rules about going to places and doing things. In London, almost everything is labeled "You mustn't touch," and even though the label is invisible, it's just as restrictive because you know it exists, or if you don't, you’ll be informed very quickly.
The White House was on the edge of a hill, with a wood behind it—and the chalk-quarry on one side and the gravel-pit on the other. Down at the bottom of the hill was a level plain, with queer-shaped white buildings where people burnt lime, and a big red brewery and other houses; and when the big chimneys were smoking and the sun was setting, the valley looked as if it was filled with golden mist, and the limekilns and hop-drying houses glimmered and glittered till they were like an enchanted city out of the Arabian Nights.
The White House was situated on a slope, with a forest behind it—one side had a chalk quarry while the other had a gravel pit. At the bottom of the hill was a flat area with oddly shaped white buildings where people processed lime, a large red brewery, and other homes. When the tall chimneys were puffing smoke and the sun was setting, the valley looked like it was filled with golden mist, and the lime kilns and hop-drying houses shimmered and sparkled, resembling an enchanted city from the Arabian Nights.
Now that I have begun to tell you about the place, I feel that I could go on and make [Pg 6]this into a most interesting story about all the ordinary things that the children did,—just the kind of things you do yourself, you know, and you would believe every word of it; and when I told about the children's being tiresome, as you are sometimes, your aunts would perhaps write in the margin of the story with a pencil, "How true!" or "How like life!" and you would see it and would very likely be annoyed. So I will only tell you the really astonishing things that happened, and you may leave the book about quite safely, for no aunts and uncles either are likely to write "How true!" on the edge of the story. Grown-up people find it very difficult to believe really wonderful things, unless they have what they call proof. But children will believe almost anything, and grown-ups know this. That is why they tell you that the earth is round like an orange, when you can see perfectly well that it is flat and lumpy; and why they say that the earth goes round the sun, when you can see for yourself any day that the sun gets up in the morning and goes to bed at [Pg 7]night like a good sun as it is, and the earth knows its place, and lies as still as a mouse. Yet I daresay you believe all that about the earth and the sun, and if so you will find it quite easy to believe that before Anthea and Cyril and the others had been a week in the country they had found a fairy. At least they called it that, because that was what it called itself; and of course it knew best, but it was not at all like any fairy you ever saw or heard of or read about.
Now that I’ve started to tell you about the place, I feel like I could turn this into a really interesting story about all the ordinary things the kids did—just the kinds of things you do yourself, you know, and you’d believe every word of it. And when I talked about the kids being annoying, like you sometimes are, your aunts might write in the margins of the story with a pencil, "How true!" or "How like life!" and you’d see it and probably get annoyed. So I’ll just share the truly amazing things that happened, and you can leave the book lying around without worry, because no aunts or uncles are likely to write "How true!" on the edge of the tale. Adults find it really hard to believe incredible things unless they have what they call proof. But kids will believe almost anything, and grown-ups know this. That’s why they tell you the earth is round like an orange, when you can clearly see it’s flat and bumpy; and why they say the earth goes around the sun, when you can see for yourself every day that the sun rises in the morning and sets at [Pg 7] night like a good sun, and the earth knows its place and lies still like a mouse. Yet I bet you believe all that about the earth and the sun, and if you do, you’ll find it pretty easy to believe that before Anthea, Cyril, and the others had spent a week in the countryside, they had found a fairy. At least that’s what they called it, because that’s what it called itself; and of course it knew best, but it wasn’t at all like any fairy you’ve ever seen, heard of, or read about.
It was at the gravel-pits. Father had to go away suddenly on business, and mother had gone away to stay with Granny, who was not very well. They both went in a great hurry, and when they were gone the house seemed dreadfully quiet and empty, and the children wandered from one room to another and looked at the bits of paper and string on the floors left over from the packing, and not yet cleared up, and wished they had something to do. It was Cyril who said—
It was at the gravel pits. Dad had to leave quickly for work, and Mom went to stay with Grandma, who wasn’t feeling well. They both left in a rush, and when they were gone, the house felt really quiet and empty. The kids wandered from one room to another, looking at the scraps of paper and string on the floors that were still left over from packing, and they wished they had something to do. It was Cyril who said—
"I say, let's take our spades and dig in the gravel-pits. We can pretend it's seaside."[Pg 8]
"I say, let’s grab our shovels and dig in the gravel pits. We can pretend it’s the beach."[Pg 8]
"Father says it was once," Anthea said; "he says there are shells there thousands of years old."
"Father says there used to be," Anthea said; "he says there are shells there that are thousands of years old."
So they went. Of course they had been to the edge of the gravel-pit and looked over, but they had not gone down into it for fear father should say they mustn't play there, and it was the same with the chalk-quarry. The gravel-pit is not really dangerous if you don't try to climb down the edges, but go the slow safe way round by the road, as if you were a cart.
So they went. They had looked over the edge of the gravel pit before, but they hadn’t gone down into it because they were worried their dad would say they couldn’t play there, and it was the same with the chalk quarry. The gravel pit isn’t really dangerous if you don’t try to climb down the sides; just take the slow and safe way around by the road, like a cart.
Each of the children carried its own spade, and took it in turns to carry the Lamb. He was the baby, and they called him that because "Baa" was the first thing he ever said. They called Anthea "Panther," which seems silly when you read it, but when you say it it sounds a little like her name.
Each of the kids had their own spade and took turns carrying the Lamb. He was the baby, and they called him that because "Baa" was the first thing he ever said. They called Anthea "Panther," which seems silly when you read it, but when you say it, it sounds a bit like her name.
The gravel-pit is very large and wide, with grass growing round the edges at the top, and dry stringy wildflowers, purple and yellow. It is like a giant's washbowl. And there are mounds of gravel, and holes in the sides [Pg 9]of the bowl where gravel has been taken out, and high up in the steep sides there are the little holes that are the little front doors of the little bank-martins' little houses.
The gravel pit is really big and wide, with grass growing around the edges at the top, and dry, scraggly wildflowers in purple and yellow. It's like a giant's washbowl. There are mounds of gravel and holes in the sides [Pg 9] of the bowl where gravel has been removed, and high up in the steep sides, there are small holes that are the front doors of the tiny bank-martins' little homes.
The children built a castle, of course, but castle-building is rather poor fun when you have no hope of the swishing tide ever coming in to fill up the moat and wash away the drawbridge, and, at the happy last, to wet everybody up to the waist at least.
The kids built a castle, but building a castle isn't that exciting when there's no chance of the tide coming in to fill the moat, wash away the drawbridge, and, in the end, soak everyone up to their waists at least.
Cyril wanted to dig out a cave to play smugglers in, but the others thought it might bury them alive, so it ended in all spades going to work to dig a hole through the castle to Australia. These children, you see, believed that the world was round, and that on the other side the little Australian boys and girls were really walking wrong way up, like flies on the ceiling, with their heads hanging down into the air.
Cyril wanted to dig a cave to play smugglers in, but the others thought it might bury them alive, so they all grabbed their spades and started digging a hole through the castle to Australia. These kids, you see, believed the world was round, and that on the other side, the little Australian boys and girls were actually walking upside down, like flies on the ceiling, with their heads hanging down into the air.
The children dug and they dug and they dug, and their hands got sandy and hot and red, and their faces got damp and shiny. The Lamb had tried to eat the sand, and had cried [Pg 10]so hard when he found that it was not, as he had supposed, brown sugar, that he was now tired out, and was lying asleep in a warm fat bunch in the middle of the half-finished castle. This left his brothers and sisters free to work really hard, and the hole that was to come out in Australia soon grew so deep that Jane, who was called Pussy for short, begged the others to stop.
The kids dug and dug and dug, and their hands got sandy and hot and red, and their faces got sweaty and shiny. The Lamb had tried to eat the sand and cried [Pg 10]so hard when he realized it wasn’t brown sugar like he thought, that he was now worn out and asleep in a cozy little pile in the middle of the half-finished castle. This gave his brothers and sisters the chance to really focus, and the hole that was supposed to lead to Australia quickly became so deep that Jane, nicknamed Pussy for short, asked the others to stop.
"Suppose the bottom of the hole gave way suddenly," said she, "and you tumbled out among the little Australians, all the sand would get in their eyes."
"Imagine if the bottom of the hole suddenly collapsed," she said, "and you fell out among the little Australians; all the sand would get in their eyes."
"Yes," said Robert; "and they would hate us, and throw stones at us, and not let us see the kangaroos, or opossums, or bluegums, or Emu Brand birds, or anything."
"Yeah," Robert said, "and they would hate us, throw stones at us, and not let us see the kangaroos, opossums, bluegums, Emu Brand birds, or anything."
Cyril and Anthea knew that Australia was not quite so near as all that, but they agreed to stop using the spades and to go on with their hands. This was quite easy, because the sand at the bottom of the hole was very soft and fine and dry, like sea-sand. And there were little shells in it.[Pg 11]
Cyril and Anthea knew that Australia wasn't as close as it seemed, but they decided to stop using the spades and to continue digging with their hands. This was pretty easy because the sand at the bottom of the hole was soft, fine, and dry, just like beach sand. And there were little shells in it.[Pg 11]
"Fancy it having been wet sea here once, all sloppy and shiny," said Jane, "with fishes and conger-eels and coral and mermaids."
"Can you believe it used to be a wet sea here, all messy and shiny," said Jane, "with fish, conger eels, coral, and mermaids?"
"And masts of ships and wrecked Spanish treasure. I wish we could find a gold doubloon, or something," Cyril said.
"And the masts of ships and wrecked Spanish treasure. I wish we could find a gold doubloon or something," Cyril said.
"How did the sea get carried away?" Robert asked.
"How did the sea get taken away?" Robert asked.
"Not in a pail, silly," said his brother.
"Not in a bucket, silly," said his brother.
"Father says the earth got too hot underneath, as you do in bed sometimes, so it just hunched up its shoulders, and the sea had to slip off, like the blankets do us, and the shoulder was left sticking out, and turned into dry land. Let's go and look for shells; I think that little cave looks likely, and I see something sticking out there like a bit of wrecked ship's anchor, and it's beastly hot in the Australian hole."
" Dad says the earth got too hot underneath, like you do in bed sometimes, so it just shrugged its shoulders, and the sea had to slide off, like the blankets do on us, and the shoulder was left sticking out, turning into dry land. Let's go look for shells; I think that little cave looks promising, and I see something sticking out there like a piece of a wrecked ship's anchor, and it's really hot in this Australian hole."
The others agreed, but Anthea went on digging. She always liked to finish a thing when she had once begun it. She felt it would be a disgrace to leave that hole without getting through to Australia.[Pg 12]
The others agreed, but Anthea kept digging. She always insisted on finishing something once she started it. She felt it would be a shame to leave that hole without reaching Australia.[Pg 12]
The cave was disappointing, because there were no shells, and the wrecked ship's anchor turned out to be only the broken end of a pick-axe handle, and the cave party were just making up their minds that sand makes you thirstier when it is not by the seaside, and someone had suggested that they all go home for lemonade, when Anthea suddenly screamed—
The cave was a letdown because there were no shells, and the wrecked ship's anchor turned out to be just the broken end of a pickaxe handle. The group was starting to think that sand makes you thirstier when you're not at the beach, and someone had suggested they all head home for lemonade when Anthea suddenly screamed—
"Cyril! Come here! Oh, come quick—It's alive! It'll get away! Quick!"
"Cyril! Come here! Oh, hurry—It’s alive! It’ll escape! Quick!"
They all hurried back.
They all rushed back.
"It's a rat, I shouldn't wonder," said Robert. "Father says they infest old places—and this must be pretty old if the sea was here thousands of years ago"—
"It's a rat, I wouldn't be surprised," said Robert. "Dad says they take over old places—and this place must be pretty old if the sea was here thousands of years ago."
"Perhaps it is a snake," said Jane, shuddering.
"Maybe it's a snake," Jane said, shuddering.
"Let's look," said Cyril, jumping into the hole. "I'm not afraid of snakes. I like them. If it is a snake I'll tame it, and it will follow me everywhere, and I'll let it sleep round my neck at night."
"Let’s check it out," said Cyril, jumping into the hole. "I’m not scared of snakes. I actually like them. If it’s a snake, I’ll tame it, and it will follow me everywhere. I’ll even let it sleep around my neck at night."
"No, you won't," said Robert firmly. He [Pg 13]shared Cyril's bedroom. "But you may if it's a rat."
"No, you won't," Robert said firmly. He [Pg 13]shared Cyril's bedroom. "But you might if it’s a rat."
"Oh, don't be silly!" said Anthea; "it's not a rat, it's much bigger. And it's not a snake. It's got feet; I saw them; and fur! No—not the spade. You'll hurt it! Dig with your hands."
"Oh, don't be ridiculous!" said Anthea; "it's not a rat, it's way bigger. And it's not a snake. It's got feet; I saw them; and fur! No—not the spade. You'll hurt it! Dig with your hands."
"And let it hurt me instead! That's so likely, isn't it?" said Cyril, seizing a spade.
"And let it hurt me instead! That's so likely, right?" said Cyril, grabbing a spade.
"Oh, don't!" said Anthea. "Squirrel, don't. I—it sounds silly, but it said something. It really and truly did"—
"Oh, don't!" said Anthea. "Squirrel, don't. I—I know it sounds silly, but it said something. It really and truly did."
"What?"
"What?"
"It said, 'You let me alone.'"
"It said, 'You left me alone.'"
But Cyril merely observed that his sister must have gone off her head, and he and Robert dug with spades while Anthea sat on the edge of the hole, jumping up and down with hotness and anxiety. They dug carefully, and presently everyone could see that there really was something moving in the bottom of the Australian hole.
But Cyril just noted that his sister must have lost her mind, and he and Robert dug with shovels while Anthea sat on the edge of the hole, bouncing up and down with heat and worry. They dug carefully, and soon everyone could see that there was actually something moving at the bottom of the Australian hole.
Then Anthea cried out, "I'm not afraid. Let me dig," and fell on her knees and began [Pg 14]to scratch like a dog does when he has suddenly remembered where it was that he buried his bone.
Then Anthea shouted, "I'm not scared. Let me dig," and dropped to her knees, starting [Pg 14] to scratch like a dog that has just remembered where it buried its bone.
"Oh, I felt fur," she cried, half laughing and half crying. "I did indeed! I did!" when suddenly a dry husky voice in the sand made them all jump back, and their hearts jumped nearly as fast as they did.
"Oh, I felt fur," she exclaimed, half laughing and half crying. "I really did! I did!" when suddenly a dry, raspy voice from the sand made them all leap back, and their hearts raced nearly as fast as they did.
"Let me alone," it said. And now everyone heard the voice and looked at the others to see if they had heard it too.
"Leave me alone," it said. Now everyone heard the voice and glanced at each other to see if they had heard it too.
"But we want to see you," said Robert bravely.
"But we want to see you," Robert said confidently.
"I wish you'd come out," said Anthea, also taking courage.
"I wish you would come out," said Anthea, finding her courage as well.
"Oh, well—if that's your wish," the voice said, and the sand stirred and spun and scattered, and something brown and furry and fat came rolling out into the hole, and the sand fell off it, and it sat there yawning and rubbing the ends of its eyes with its hands.
"Oh, okay—if that's what you want," the voice said, and the sand stirred, spun, and scattered, and something brown, furry, and plump rolled out into the hole, and the sand fell off it as it sat there yawning and rubbing its eyes with its hands.
"I believe I must have dropped asleep," it said, stretching itself.
"I think I must have fallen asleep," it said, stretching itself.
The children stood round the hole in a ring, [Pg 15]looking at the creature they had found. It was worth looking at. Its eyes were on long horns like a snail's eyes, and it could move them in and out like telescopes; it had ears like a bat's ears, and its tubby body was shaped like a spider's and covered with thick soft fur; its legs and arms were furry too, and it had hands and feet like a monkey's.
The kids gathered around the hole in a circle, [Pg 15]gazing at the creature they had discovered. It was definitely interesting to see. Its eyes were on long horns like a snail's, and it could move them in and out like telescopes; it had ears like a bat's, and its chubby body was shaped like a spider's and covered in thick, soft fur; its legs and arms were furry too, and it had hands and feet like a monkey's.
"What on earth is it?" Jane said. "Shall we take it home?"
"What in the world is it?" Jane said. "Should we take it home?"
The thing turned its long eyes to look at her, and said—
The creature turned its long eyes to look at her and said—
"Does she always talk nonsense, or is it only the rubbish on her head that makes her silly?"
"Does she always talk nonsense, or is it just the garbage on her head that makes her act silly?"
It looked scornfully at Jane's hat as it spoke.
It looked disdainfully at Jane's hat as it spoke.
"She doesn't mean to be silly," Anthea said gently; "we none of us do, whatever you may think! Don't be frightened; we don't want to hurt you, you know."
"She doesn't mean to be silly," Anthea said kindly; "none of us do, no matter what you might think! Don't be scared; we don't want to hurt you, you know."
"Hurt me!" it said. "Me frightened? Upon my word! Why, you talk as if I were nobody in particular." All its fur stood out like a cat's when it is going to fight.
"Hurt me!" it said. "Me scared? I swear! You talk like I’m just some average nobody." All its fur bristled like a cat's when it's about to fight.
"Well," said Anthea, still kindly, "perhaps [Pg 16]if we knew who you are in particular we could think of something to say that wouldn't make you angry. Everything we've said so far seems to have done so. Who are you? And don't get angry! Because really we don't know."
"Well," said Anthea, still kindly, "maybe [Pg 16]if we knew exactly who you are, we could come up with something to say that wouldn't upset you. Everything we've said so far seems to have done just that. So, who are you? And please don't get angry! Because honestly, we have no idea."
"You don't know?" it said. "Well, I knew the world had changed—but—well, really—Do you mean to tell me seriously you don't know a Psammead when you see one?"
"You don't know?" it said. "Well, I knew the world had changed—but—really—Are you seriously telling me you don't recognize a Psammead when you see one?"
"A Sammyadd? That's Greek to me."
"A Sammyadd? That's a mystery to me."
"So it is to everyone," said the creature sharply. "Well, in plain English, then, a Sand-fairy. Don't you know a Sand-fairy when you see one?"
"So it is for everyone," the creature said sharply. "Well, to put it simply, a Sand-fairy. Don't you recognize a Sand-fairy when you see one?"
It looked so grieved and hurt that Jane hastened to say, "Of course I see you are, now. It's quite plain now one comes to look at you."
It looked so sad and hurt that Jane quickly said, "Of course I see you are, now. It's pretty clear now that I really look at you."
"You came to look at me, several sentences ago," it said crossly, beginning to curl up again in the sand.
"You came to check me out a few sentences ago," it said irritably, starting to curl up again in the sand.
"Oh—don't go away again! Do talk some more," Robert cried. "I didn't know you were a Sand-fairy, but I knew directly I saw [Pg 17]you that you were much the wonderfullest thing I'd ever seen."
"Oh—please don't leave again! Keep talking," Robert exclaimed. "I didn't realize you were a Sand-fairy, but I knew as soon as I saw [Pg 17] you that you were the most amazing thing I've ever seen."
The Sand-fairy seemed a shade less disagreeable after this.
The Sand-fairy seemed a little less unpleasant after this.
"It isn't talking I mind," it said, "as long as you're reasonably civil. But I'm not going to make polite conversation for you. If you talk nicely to me, perhaps I'll answer you, and perhaps I won't. Now say something."
"It’s not the talking I mind," it said, "as long as you’re somewhat civil. But I’m not going to small talk for you. If you speak nicely to me, maybe I'll respond, and maybe I won't. Now say something."
Of course no one could think of anything to say, but at last Robert thought of "How long have you lived here?" and he said it at once.
Of course, no one could come up with anything to say, but finally, Robert thought of, "How long have you lived here?" and he said it right away.
"Oh, ages—several thousand years," replied the Psammead.
"Oh, ages—thousands of years," replied the Psammead.
"Tell us about it. Do."
"Tell us about it."
"It's all in books."
"It's all in the books."
"You aren't!" Jane said. "Oh, tell us everything you can about yourself! We don't know anything about you, and you are so nice."
"You are not!" Jane said. "Oh, share everything you can about yourself! We don't know anything about you, and you are really nice."
The Sand-fairy smoothed his long rat-like whiskers and smiled between them.
The Sand-fairy stroked his long, rat-like whiskers and smiled at the same time.
"Do please tell!" said the children all together.[Pg 18]
"Please tell us!" said the children all together.[Pg 18]
It is wonderful how quickly you get used to things, even the most astonishing. Five minutes before, the children had had no more idea than you had that there was such a thing as a Sand-fairy in the world, and now they were talking to it as though they had known it all their lives.
It’s amazing how fast you adapt to things, even the most unbelievable ones. Just five minutes ago, the kids had no clue, just like you, that a Sand-fairy existed in the world, and now they’re chatting with it like they’ve known it forever.
It drew its eyes in and said—
It pulled its eyes in and said—
"How very sunny it is—quite like old times! Where do you get your Megatheriums from now?"
"How sunny it is—just like the old days! Where do you get your Megatheriums now?"
"What?" said the children all at once. It is very difficult always to remember that "what" is not polite, especially in moments of surprise or agitation.
"What?" the children said all at once. It's really hard to remember that saying "what" isn't polite, especially in moments of surprise or distress.
"Are Pterodactyls plentiful now?" the Sand-fairy went on.
"Are there a lot of Pterodactyls now?" the Sand-fairy continued.
The children were unable to reply.
The kids couldn't reply.
"What do you have for breakfast?" the Fairy said impatiently, "and who gives it to you?"
"What do you eat for breakfast?" the Fairy asked impatiently. "And who serves it to you?"
"Eggs and bacon, and bread and milk, and porridge and things. Mother gives it to us. What are Mega-what's-its-names and Ptero-[Pg 19]what-do-you-call-thems? And does anyone have them for breakfast?"
"Eggs and bacon, bread and milk, porridge and stuff. Mom gives it to us. What are Mega-what's-it-called and Ptero-[Pg 19]what-do-you-call-them? And does anyone eat them for breakfast?"
"Why, almost everyone had Pterodactyl for breakfast in my time! Pterodactyls were something like crocodiles and something like birds—I believe they were very good grilled. You see, it was like this: of course there were heaps of Sand-fairies then, and in the morning early you went out and hunted for them, and when you'd found one it gave you your wish. People used to send their little boys down to the seashore in the morning before breakfast to get the day's wishes, and very often the eldest boy in the family would be told to wish for a Megatherium, ready jointed for cooking. It was as big as an elephant, you see, so there was a good deal of meat on it. And if they wanted fish, the Ichthyosaurus was asked for,—he was twenty to forty feet long, so there was plenty of him. And for poultry there was the Plesiosaurus; there were nice pickings on that too. Then the other children could wish for other things. But when people had dinner-parties it was nearly always Megatheriums; and[Pg 20] Ichthyosaurus, because his fins were a great delicacy and his tail made soup."
"Why, almost everyone had Pterodactyl for breakfast in my day! Pterodactyls were kinda like crocodiles and somewhat like birds—I think they were really good grilled. Here’s how it went: there were tons of Sand-fairies back then, and early in the morning, you’d go out and look for them. When you found one, it granted you a wish. People would often send their little boys down to the beach in the morning before breakfast to get their daily wishes, and usually, the oldest boy in the family would be asked to wish for a Megatherium, all ready to cook. It was as big as an elephant, so there was plenty of meat on it. If they wanted fish, they’d wish for an Ichthyosaurus—he was twenty to forty feet long, so there was enough of him. And for poultry, there was the Plesiosaurus; that had good meat on it too. Then the other kids could wish for other stuff. But when people had dinner parties, it was almost always Megatheriums; and[Pg 20] Ichthyosaurus, because his fins were a real treat and his tail made great soup."
"There must have been heaps and heaps of cold meat left over," said Anthea, who meant to be a good housekeeper some day.
"There must have been a ton of cold meat left over," said Anthea, who intended to be a good housekeeper someday.
"Oh no," said the Psammead, "that would never have done. Why, of course at sunset what was left over turned into stone. You find the stone bones of the Megatherium and things all over the place even now, they tell me."
"Oh no," said the Psammead, "that would never have worked. Of course, at sunset, what was left over turned into stone. You can still find the stone bones of the Megatherium and other things all over the place, I've heard."
"Who tell you?" asked Cyril; but the Sand-fairy frowned and began to dig very fast with its furry hands.
"Who told you?" asked Cyril; but the Sand-fairy frowned and started to dig quickly with its furry hands.
"Oh, don't go!" they all cried; "tell us more about when it was Megatheriums for breakfast! Was the world like this then?"
"Oh, don’t go!" they all shouted; "tell us more about the time when Megatheriums were for breakfast! Was the world like this back then?"
It stopped digging.
It stopped excavating.
"Not a bit," it said; "it was nearly all sand where I lived, and coal grew on trees, and the periwinkles were as big as tea-trays—you find them now; they're turned into stone. We Sand-fairies used to live on the seashore, and the children used to come with their little flint-[Pg 21]spades and flint-pails and make castles for us to live in. That's thousands of years ago, but I hear that children still build castles on the sand. It's difficult to break yourself of a habit."
"Not at all," it said; "where I lived was mostly sand, and coal grew on trees, and the periwinkles were as big as tea trays—you can still find them; they’ve turned into stone now. We Sand-fairies used to live by the seashore, and kids would come with their little flint spades and flint pails to build castles for us to live in. That was thousands of years ago, but I hear that kids still build sandcastles. It's hard to kick a habit."
"But why did you stop living in the castles?" asked Robert.
"But why did you stop living in the castles?" Robert asked.
"It's a sad story," said the Psammead gloomily. "It was because they would build moats to the castles, and the nasty wet bubbling sea used to come in, and of course as soon as a Sand-fairy got wet it caught cold, and generally died. And so there got to be fewer and fewer, and, whenever you found a fairy and had a wish, you used to wish for a Megatherium, and eat twice as much as you wanted, because it might be weeks before you got another wish."
"It's a sad story," the Psammead said gloomily. "It was because they would build moats around the castles, and the nasty, wet, bubbling sea would come in, and of course, as soon as a Sand-fairy got wet, it would catch a cold and usually die. So, there became fewer and fewer of them, and whenever you found a fairy and had a wish, you used to wish for a Megatherium and eat twice as much as you wanted because it could be weeks before you got another wish."
"And did you get wet?" Robert inquired.
"And did you get wet?" Robert asked.
The Sand-fairy shuddered. "Only once," it said; "the end of the twelfth hair of my top left whisker—I feel the place still in damp weather. It was only once, but it was quite enough for me. I went away as soon as the [Pg 22]sun had dried my poor dear whisker. I scurried away to the back of the beach, and dug myself a house deep in warm dry sand, and there I've been ever since. And the sea changed its lodgings afterwards. And now I'm not going to tell you another thing."
The Sand-fairy shivered. "Only once," it said; "the end of the twelfth hair of my top left whisker—I still feel it in damp weather. It was only once, but that was more than enough for me. I left as soon as the [Pg 22]sun had dried my poor whisker. I hurried to the back of the beach and dug myself a home deep in warm, dry sand, and I've been there ever since. And the sea changed its spot after that. And now I'm not going to tell you anything else."
"Just one more, please," said the children. "Can you give wishes now?"
"Just one more, please," said the kids. "Can you grant wishes now?"
"Of course," said it; "didn't I give you yours a few minutes ago? You said, 'I wish you'd come out,' and I did."
"Of course," it said; "didn't I just give you yours a few minutes ago? You said, 'I wish you'd come out,' and I did."
"Oh, please, mayn't we have another?"
"Oh, please, can we have another?"
"Yes, but be quick about it. I'm tired of you."
"Yeah, but hurry up. I'm tired of you."
I daresay you have often thought what you would do if you had three wishes given you, and have despised the old man and his wife in the black-pudding story, and felt certain that if you had the chance you could think of three really useful wishes without a moment's hesitation. These children had often talked this matter over, but, now the chance had suddenly come to them, they could not make up their minds.[Pg 23]
I bet you've often thought about what you would do if you were granted three wishes, and you've probably looked down on the old man and his wife in the black-pudding story, certain that if you had the opportunity, you'd come up with three genuinely useful wishes in no time. These kids had talked about it plenty before, but now that the chance had unexpectedly arrived, they couldn't decide what to wish for.[Pg 23]
"Quick," said the Sand-fairy crossly. No one could think of anything, only Anthea did manage to remember a private wish of her own and Jane's which they had never told the boys. She knew the boys would not care about it—but still it was better than nothing.
"Quick," said the Sand-fairy, annoyed. No one could think of anything, but Anthea remembered a secret wish of hers and Jane's that they had never shared with the boys. She knew the boys wouldn't care about it—but still, it was better than nothing.
"I wish we were all as beautiful as the day," she said in a great hurry.
"I wish we were all as beautiful as today," she said quickly.
The children looked at each other, but each could see that the others were not any better-looking than usual. The Psammead pushed out his long eyes, and seemed to be holding its breath and swelling itself out till it was twice as fat and furry as before. Suddenly it let its breath go in a long sigh.
The kids exchanged glances, but they could tell that none of them looked any different than normal. The Psammead extended its long eyes and appeared to be holding its breath, puffing up so that it was twice as round and fluffy as before. Then, without warning, it released its breath in a long sigh.
"I'm really afraid I can't manage it," it said apologetically; "I must be out of practice."
"I'm really worried I can't handle it," it said regretfully; "I must be out of practice."
The children were horribly disappointed.
The kids were really upset.
"Oh, do try again!" they said.
"Oh, please try again!" they said.
"Well," said the Sand-fairy, "the fact is, I was keeping back a little strength to give the rest of you your wishes with. If you'll be contented with one wish a day among the lot [Pg 24]of you I daresay I can screw myself up to it. Do you agree to that?"
"Well," said the Sand-fairy, "the truth is, I was saving a bit of my power to grant the rest of you your wishes. If you’re okay with just one wish a day among all of you, I think I can manage that. Do you agree to that?"
"Yes, oh yes!" said Jane and Anthea. The boys nodded. They did not believe the Sand-fairy could do it. You can always make girls believe things much easier than you can boys.
"Yes, oh yes!" said Jane and Anthea. The boys nodded. They didn't believe the Sand-fairy could do it. It's always easier to convince girls of things than it is to convince boys.
It stretched out its eyes farther than ever, and swelled and swelled and swelled.
It stretched its eyes wider than ever, and kept swelling and swelling and swelling.
"I do hope it won't hurt itself," said Anthea.
"I really hope it doesn't hurt itself," said Anthea.
"Or crack its skin," Robert said anxiously.
"Or break its skin," Robert said nervously.
Everyone was very much relieved when the Sand-fairy, after getting so big that it almost filled up the hole in the sand, suddenly let out its breath and went back to its proper size.
Everyone felt a huge sense of relief when the Sand-fairy, having grown so large that it nearly filled the hole in the sand, suddenly exhaled and returned to its normal size.
"That's all right," it said, panting heavily. "It'll come easier to-morrow."
"That's okay," it said, breathing heavily. "It'll be easier tomorrow."
"Did it hurt much?" said Anthea.
"Did it hurt a lot?" Anthea asked.
"Only my poor whisker, thank you," said he, "but you're a kind and thoughtful child. Good day."
"Just my poor whisker, thanks," he said, "but you're a kind and thoughtful kid. Have a good day."
It scratched suddenly and fiercely with its hands and feet, and disappeared in the sand.[Pg 25]
It scratched suddenly and fiercely with its hands and feet, and disappeared into the sand.[Pg 25]
Then the children looked at each other, and each child suddenly found itself alone with three perfect strangers, all radiantly beautiful.
Then the kids looked at each other, and each one suddenly realized they were alone with three perfect strangers, all incredibly beautiful.
They stood for some moments in silence. Each thought that its brothers and sisters had wandered off, and that these strange children had stolen up unnoticed while it was watching the swelling form of the Sand-fairy. Anthea spoke first—
They stood in silence for a few moments. Each thought that their brothers and sisters had drifted off, and that these strange kids had approached quietly while they were watching the growing shape of the Sand-fairy. Anthea was the first to speak—
"Excuse me," she said very politely to Jane, who now had enormous blue eyes and a cloud of russet hair, "but have you seen two little boys and a little girl anywhere about?"
"Excuse me," she said politely to Jane, who now had huge blue eyes and a mass of brown hair, "but have you seen two little boys and a little girl around here?"
"I was just going to ask you that," said Jane. And then Cyril cried—
"I was just about to ask you that," Jane said. And then Cyril shouted—
"Why, it's you! I know the hole in your pinafore! You are Jane, aren't you? And you're the Panther; I can see your dirty handkerchief that you forgot to change after you'd cut your thumb! The wish has come off, after all. I say, am I as handsome as you are?"
"Wow, it's you! I recognize the tear in your pinafore! You are Jane, right? And you're the Panther; I can see that dirty handkerchief you forgot to swap out after you cut your thumb! The wish has come true, after all. So, am I as good-looking as you?"
"If you're Cyril, I liked you much better as you were before," said Anthea decidedly. [Pg 26]"You look like the picture of the young chorister, with your golden hair; you'll die young, I shouldn't wonder. And if that's Robert, he's like an Italian organ-grinder. His hair's all black."
"If you're Cyril, I liked you way more before," Anthea said firmly. [Pg 26] "You look just like that young choirboy in the picture, with your golden hair; I wouldn't be surprised if you died young. And if that’s Robert, he looks like an Italian street performer. His hair is completely black."
"You two girls are like Christmas cards, then—that's all—silly Christmas cards," said Robert angrily. "And Jane's hair is simply carrots."
"You two girls are like Christmas cards, then—that's all—silly Christmas cards," Robert said angrily. "And Jane's hair is just like carrots."
It was indeed of that Venetian tint so much admired by artists.
It truly had that Venetian color that artists admire so much.
"Well, it's no use finding fault with each other," said Anthea; "let's get the Lamb and lug it home to dinner. The servants will admire us most awfully, you'll see."
"Well, there's no point in blaming each other," said Anthea. "Let's get the Lamb and take it home for dinner. The staff will admire us a lot, just wait and see."
Baby was just waking up when they got to him, and not one of the children but was relieved to find that he at least was not as beautiful as the day, but just the same as usual.
Baby was just waking up when they reached him, and every child felt relieved to see that he wasn't as stunning as he usually was, but just the same as always.
"I suppose he's too young to have wishes naturally," said Jane. "We shall have to mention him specially next time."
"I guess he's too young to have wishes yet," said Jane. "We'll have to bring him up especially next time."
"Come, then," she said.
"Come on," she said.
The Baby looked at her disapprovingly, and put a sandy pink thumb in his mouth. Anthea was his favourite sister.
The Baby looked at her with disapproval and put a sandy pink thumb in his mouth. Anthea was his favorite sister.
"Come, then," she said.
"Come on," she said.
"G'way 'long!" said the Baby.
"Go away!" said the Baby.
"Come to own Pussy," said Jane.
"Come to own Pussy," Jane said.
"Wants my Panty," said the Lamb dismally, and his lip trembled.
"Wants my panty," said the Lamb sadly, and his lip quivered.
"Here, come on, Veteran," said Robert, "come and have a yidey on Yobby's back."
"Here, come on, Veteran," said Robert, "come and have a ride on Yobby's back."
"Yah, narky narky boy," howled the Baby, giving way altogether. Then the children knew the worst. The Baby did not know them!
"Yeah, you annoying little brat," the Baby cried, completely giving in. Then the children realized the worst. The Baby didn't recognize them!
They looked at each other in despair, and it was terrible to each, in this dire emergency, to meet only the beautiful eyes of perfect strangers, instead of the merry, friendly, commonplace, twinkling, jolly little eyes of its own brothers and sisters.
They looked at each other in despair, and it was awful for each of them, in this critical moment, to see only the beautiful eyes of complete strangers, instead of the cheerful, friendly, ordinary, sparkling, joyful eyes of their own brothers and sisters.
"This is most truly awful," said Cyril when he had tried to lift up the Lamb, and the Lamb had scratched like a cat and bellowed [Pg 28]like a bull! "We've got to make friends with him! I can't carry him home screaming like that. Fancy having to make friends with our own baby!—it's too silly."
"This is really terrible," said Cyril after he tried to pick up the Lamb, and the Lamb had scratched like a cat and bawled [Pg 28] like a bull! "We’ve got to become friends with him! I can’t take him home screaming like that. Can you believe we have to befriend our own baby?—it’s just too ridiculous."
That, however, was exactly what they had to do. It took over an hour, and the task was not rendered any easier by the fact that the Lamb was by this time as hungry as a lion and as thirsty as a desert.
That was exactly what they had to do. It took over an hour, and the task wasn't made any easier by the fact that the Lamb was now as hungry as a lion and as thirsty as a desert.
At last he consented to allow these strangers to carry him home by turns, but as he refused to hold on to such new acquaintances he was a dead weight, and most exhausting.
At last, he agreed to let these strangers take turns carrying him home, but since he wouldn’t hold on to these new acquaintances, he became dead weight and was really exhausting to them.
"Thank goodness, we're home!" said Jane, staggering through the iron gate to where Martha, the nursemaid, stood at the front door shading her eyes with her hand and looking out anxiously. "Here! Do take Baby!"
"Thank goodness, we're home!" Jane exclaimed, stumbling through the iron gate to where Martha, the nursemaid, stood at the front door, shielding her eyes with her hand and looking out nervously. "Here! Please take Baby!"
Martha snatched the Baby from her arms.
Martha grabbed the baby from her arms.
"Thanks be, he's safe back," she said. "Where are the others, and whoever to goodness gracious are all of you?"
"Thank goodness, he's back safe," she said. "Where are the others, and who on earth are all of you?"
"And who's Us, when you're at home?" asked Martha scornfully.
"And who are we when you're at home?" Martha asked disdainfully.
"I tell you it's us, only we're beautiful as the day," said Cyril. "I'm Cyril, and these are the others, and we're jolly hungry. Let us in, and don't be a silly idiot."
"I’m telling you, it’s us, and we’re as beautiful as the day," Cyril said. "I’m Cyril, and these are the others, and we’re really hungry. Let us in, and don’t be ridiculous."
Martha merely dratted Cyril's impudence and tried to shut the door in his face.
Martha just cursed Cyril's boldness and tried to slam the door in his face.
"I know we look different, but I'm Anthea, and we're so tired, and it's long past dinner-time."
"I know we look different, but I'm Anthea, and we're really tired, and it's way past dinner time."
"Then go home to your dinners, whoever you are; and if our children put you up to this play-acting you can tell them from me they'll catch it, so they know what to expect!" With that she did bang the door. Cyril rang the bell violently. No answer. Presently cook put her head out of a bedroom window and said—
"Then go home to your dinners, whoever you are; and if our kids encouraged you to do this acting, tell them from me they'll get in trouble, so they know what to expect!" With that, she slammed the door. Cyril rang the bell violently. No answer. Eventually, the cook poked her head out of a bedroom window and said—
"If you don't take yourselves off, and that precious sharp, I'll go and fetch the police." And she slammed down the window.
"If you don't get out of here, and that precious knife, I'll go and call the police." And she slammed the window shut.
"It's no good," said Anthea. "Oh, do, do come away before we get sent to prison!"[Pg 30]
"It's pointless," said Anthea. "Oh, please, please come away before we get sent to jail!"[Pg 30]
The boys said it was nonsense, and the law of England couldn't put you in prison for just being as beautiful as the day, but all the same they followed the others out into the lane.
The boys said it was ridiculous, and English law couldn't send you to prison for just being beautiful, but still, they followed the others out into the street.
"We shall be our proper selves after sunset, I suppose," said Jane.
"We'll be ourselves after sunset, I guess," said Jane.
"I don't know," Cyril said sadly; "it mayn't be like that now—things have changed a good deal since Megatherium times."
"I don't know," Cyril said sadly; "it might not be like that now—things have changed a lot since the Megatherium days."
"Oh," cried Anthea suddenly, "perhaps we shall turn into stone at sunset, like the Megatheriums did, so that there mayn't be any of us left over for the next day."
"Oh," Anthea suddenly exclaimed, "maybe we'll turn to stone at sunset, like the Megatheriums did, so there won't be any of us left for the next day."
She began to cry, so did Jane. Even the boys turned pale. No one had the heart to say anything.
She started to cry, and so did Jane. Even the boys looked pale. No one had the heart to say anything.
It was a horrible afternoon. There was no house near where the children could beg a crust of bread or even a glass of water. They were afraid to go to the village, because they had seen Martha go down there with a basket, and there was a local constable. True, they were all as beautiful as the day, but that is a [Pg 31]poor comfort when you are as hungry as a hunter and as thirsty as a sponge.
It was a dreadful afternoon. There wasn't a house nearby where the kids could ask for a piece of bread or even a glass of water. They were scared to go into the village since they had seen Martha go down there with a basket, and there was a local cop. Sure, they were all as beautiful as could be, but that’s little consolation when you’re as hungry as a hunter and as thirsty as a sponge.
Three times they tried in vain to get the servants in the White House to let them in and listen to their tale. And then Robert went alone, hoping to be able to climb in at one of the back windows and so open the door to the others. But all the windows were out of reach, and Martha emptied a toilet-jug of cold water over him from a top window, and said—
Three times they tried unsuccessfully to get the White House staff to let them in and hear their story. Then Robert went by himself, hoping to sneak in through one of the back windows to open the door for the others. But all the windows were too high to reach, and Martha poured a bucket of cold water on him from an upper window and said—
"Go along with you, you nasty little Eye-talian monkey."
"Get lost, you nasty little Italian monkey."
It came at last to their sitting down in a row under the hedge, with their feet in a dry ditch, waiting for sunset, and wondering whether, when the sun did set, they would turn into stone, or only into their own old natural selves; and each of them still felt lonely and among strangers, and tried not to look at the others, for, though their voices were their own, their faces were so radiantly beautiful as to be quite irritating to look at.
It finally happened that they all sat down in a row under the hedge, with their feet in a dry ditch, waiting for sunset and wondering if, when the sun did set, they would turn into stone or just go back to being their normal selves. Each of them still felt lonely and out of place, and they all tried not to look at one another because, even though their voices sounded familiar, their faces were so stunningly beautiful that it was pretty annoying to look at them.
"I don't believe we shall turn to stone," said Robert, breaking a long miserable silence,[Pg 32] "because the Sand-fairy said he'd give us another wish to-morrow, and he couldn't if we were stone, could he?"
"I don't think we will turn to stone," said Robert, breaking a long miserable silence,[Pg 32] "because the Sand-fairy said he'd give us another wish tomorrow, and he couldn't do that if we were stone, right?"
The others said "No," but they weren't at all comforted.
The others said "No," but they didn't feel comforted at all.
Another silence, longer and more miserable, was broken by Cyril's suddenly saying, "I don't want to frighten you girls, but I believe it's beginning with me already. My foot's quite dead. I'm turning to stone, I know I am, and so will you in a minute."
Another silence, longer and more heartbreaking, was interrupted when Cyril suddenly said, "I don't want to scare you girls, but I think it's starting with me already. My foot feels totally numb. I know I'm turning to stone, and soon you will be too."
"Never mind," said Robert kindly, "perhaps you'll be the only stone one, and the rest of us will be all right, and we'll cherish your statue and hang garlands on it."
"Don't worry," Robert said kindly, "maybe you'll be the only one who turns to stone, and the rest of us will be fine, and we'll treasure your statue and decorate it with garlands."
But when it turned out that Cyril's foot had only gone to sleep through his sitting too long with it under him, and when it came to life in an agony of pins and needles, the others were quite cross.
But when it turned out that Cyril's foot had just fallen asleep from sitting on it too long, and when it woke up in a painful rush of pins and needles, the others were pretty annoyed.
"Giving us such a fright for nothing!" said Anthea.
"Scaring us for no reason!" said Anthea.
The third and miserablest silence of all was broken by Jane. She said—[Pg 33]
The third and most miserable silence of all was broken by Jane. She said—[Pg 33]
"If we do come out of this all right, we'll ask the Sammyadd to make it so that the servants don't notice anything different, no matter what wishes we have."
"If we do come out of this okay, we'll ask the Sammyadd to ensure that the servants don't notice anything different, no matter what wishes we have."
The others only grunted. They were too wretched even to make good resolutions.
The others just grunted. They were too miserable even to make solid plans.
At last hunger and fright and crossness and tiredness—four very nasty things—all joined together to bring one nice thing, and that was sleep. The children lay asleep in a row, with their beautiful eyes shut and their beautiful mouths open. Anthea woke first. The sun had set, and the twilight was coming on.
At last, hunger, fear, irritation, and exhaustion—four really unpleasant things—came together to bring one good thing, and that was sleep. The kids lay asleep in a line, with their lovely eyes closed and their pretty mouths open. Anthea woke up first. The sun had set, and twilight was approaching.
Anthea pinched herself very hard, to make sure, and when she found she could still feel pinching she decided that she was not stone, and then she pinched the others. They, also, were soft.
Anthea pinched herself really hard to check, and when she realized she could still feel the pinch, she concluded that she wasn't stone. Then she pinched the others. They were soft too.
"Wake up," she said, almost in tears for joy; "it's all right, we're not stone. And oh, Cyril, how nice and ugly you do look, with your old freckles and your brown hair and your little eyes. And so do you all!" she added, so that they might not feel jealous.[Pg 34]
"Wake up," she said, almost in tears of joy; "it's fine, we're not statues. And oh, Cyril, you look both nice and ugly with your old freckles, brown hair, and little eyes. And you all look the same!" she added to keep them from feeling jealous.[Pg 34]
When they got home they were very much scolded by Martha, who told them about the strange children.
When they got home, Martha really scolded them and told them about the strange kids.
"A good-looking lot, I must say, but that impudent."
"A good-looking group, I have to say, but so rude."
"I know," said Robert, who knew by experience how hopeless it would be to try to explain things to Martha.
"I know," said Robert, who understood from experience how pointless it would be to try to explain things to Martha.
"And where on earth have you been all this time, you naughty little things, you?"
"And where have you been all this time, you mischievous little ones?"
"In the lane."
"In the alley."
"Why didn't you come home hours ago?"
"Why didn't you come home hours ago?"
"We couldn't because of them," said Anthea.
"We couldn't because of them," said Anthea.
"Who?"
"Who?"
"The children who were as beautiful as the day. They kept us there till after sunset. We couldn't come back till they'd gone. You don't know how we hated them! Oh, do, do give us some supper—we are so hungry."
"The children who were as beautiful as the day. They kept us there until after sunset. We couldn't go back until they left. You have no idea how much we hated them! Oh, please, please give us some dinner—we're so hungry."
"Hungry! I should think so," said Martha angrily; "out all day like this. Well, I hope it'll be a lesson to you not to go picking up with strange children—down here after measles, as likely as not! Now mind, if you see [Pg 35]them again, don't you speak to them—not one word nor so much as a look—but come straight away and tell me. I'll spoil their beauty for them!"
"Hungry! Of course you are," Martha said angrily. "Out all day like this. Well, I hope this teaches you not to hang out with strange kids—especially down here after measles, probably! Now listen, if you see [Pg 35]them again, don’t say a word to them—not even a glance—just come straight back and tell me. I’ll make sure they regret it!"
"If ever we do see them again we'll tell you," Anthea said; and Robert, fixing his eyes fondly on the cold beef that was being brought in on a tray by cook, added in heartfelt undertones—
"If we ever see them again, we'll let you know," Anthea said; and Robert, gazing affectionately at the cold beef being brought in on a tray by the cook, added in sincere tones—
"And we'll take jolly good care we never do see them again."
"And we'll make sure we never do see them again."
CHAPTER II
GOLDEN GUINEAS
Anthea woke in the morning from a very real sort of dream, in which she was walking in the Zoological Gardens on a pouring wet day without an umbrella. The animals seemed desperately unhappy because of the rain, and were all growling gloomily. When she awoke, both the growling and the rain went on just the same. The growling was the heavy regular breathing of her sister Jane, who had a slight cold and was still asleep. The rain fell in slow drops on to Anthea's face from the wet corner of a bath-towel out of which her brother Robert was gently squeezing the water, to wake her up, as he now explained.
Anthea woke up in the morning from a very vivid dream where she was walking in the zoo on a rainy day without an umbrella. The animals looked really sad because of the rain and were all grumbling gloomily. When she opened her eyes, the grumbling and the rain continued just the same. The grumbling was actually her sister Jane’s heavy breathing; she had a slight cold and was still asleep. The rain fell in slow drops onto Anthea's face from the wet corner of a bath towel that her brother Robert was gently squeezing to wake her up, as he explained.
"Oh, drop it!" she said rather crossly; so he did, for he was not a brutal brother, though very ingenious in apple-pie beds, booby-traps, [Pg 37]original methods of awakening sleeping relatives, and the other little accomplishments which make home happy.
"Oh, just stop!" she said, a bit annoyed; so he did, because he wasn’t a mean brother, even though he was really clever with apple-pie beds, booby traps, [Pg 37]original ways of waking up sleeping family members, and all the other little skills that make home enjoyable.
"I had such a funny dream," Anthea began.
"I had such a funny dream," Anthea started.
"So did I," said Jane, wakening suddenly and without warning. "I dreamed we found a Sand-fairy in the gravel-pits, and it said it was a Sammyadd, and we might have a new wish every day, and"——
"So did I," said Jane, waking up suddenly and unexpectedly. "I dreamed we found a Sand-fairy in the gravel pits, and it said it was a Sammyadd, and we could have a new wish every day, and"——
"But that's what I dreamed," said Robert; "I was just going to tell you,—and we had the first wish directly it said so. And I dreamed you girls were donkeys enough to ask for us all to be beautiful as day, and we jolly well were, and it was perfectly beastly."
"But that's what I dreamed," said Robert; "I was just about to tell you — and we got our first wish as soon as it said so. I dreamed that you girls were silly enough to wish for all of us to be as beautiful as day, and we really were, and it was totally awful."
"But can different people all dream the same thing?" said Anthea, sitting up in bed, "because I dreamed all that as well as about the Zoo and the rain; and Baby didn't know us in my dream, and the servants shut us out of the house because the radiantness of our beauty was such a complete disguise, and"——
"But can different people all dream the same thing?" Anthea asked, sitting up in bed. "Because I dreamed all that too, along with the Zoo and the rain; and Baby didn’t recognize us in my dream, and the servants shut us out of the house because our beauty was such a perfect disguise, and"——
The voice of the eldest brother sounded from across the landing.[Pg 38]
The oldest brother's voice came from across the landing.[Pg 38]
"Come on, Robert," it said, "you'll be late for breakfast again—unless you mean to shirk your bath as you did on Tuesday."
"Come on, Robert," it said, "you'll miss breakfast again—unless you plan to skip your bath like you did on Tuesday."
"I say, come here a second," Robert replied; "I didn't shirk it; I had it after brekker in father's dressing-room because ours was emptied away."
"I say, come here for a second," Robert replied. "I didn’t avoid it; I had it after breakfast in Dad's dressing room because ours was cleared out."
Cyril appeared in the doorway, partially clothed.
Cyril stood in the doorway, wearing a few clothes.
"Look here," said Anthea, "we've all had such an odd dream. We've all dreamed we found a Sand-fairy."
"Hey," said Anthea, "we all had the weirdest dream. We all dreamed that we found a Sand-fairy."
Her voice died away before Cyril's contemptuous glance.
Her voice faded in the face of Cyril's scornful gaze.
"Dream?" he said; "you little sillies, it's true. I tell you it all happened. That's why I'm so keen on being down early. We'll go up there directly after brekker, and have another wish. Only we'll make up our minds, solid, before we go, what it is we do want, and no one must ask for anything unless the others agree first. No more peerless beauties for this child, thank you. Not if I know it!"[Pg 39]
"Dream?" he said. "You silly kids, it's real. I’m telling you, it all happened. That’s why I’m so eager to be up early. We’ll go up there right after breakfast and make another wish. But we need to decide, for sure, before we go, what we really want, and no one can ask for anything unless everyone agrees first. No more perfect beauties for me, thank you. Not if I can help it!"[Pg 39]
The other three dressed, with their mouths open. If all that dream about the Sand-fairy was real, this real dressing seemed very like a dream, the girls thought. Jane felt that Cyril was right, but Anthea was not sure, till after they had seen Martha and heard her full and plain reminders about their naughty conduct the day before. Then Anthea was sure.
The other three got dressed, their mouths agape. If everything they dreamed about the Sand-fairy was real, then this dressing felt very much like a dream, the girls thought. Jane believed Cyril was right, but Anthea wasn’t sure until after they saw Martha and heard her clear reminders about their misbehavior the day before. Then Anthea was certain.
"Because," said she, "servants never dream anything but the things in the Dream-book, like snakes and oysters and going to a wedding—that means a funeral, and snakes are a false female friend, and oysters are babies."
"Because," she said, "servants only dream about things in the Dream-book, like snakes and oysters and going to a wedding—that means a funeral, and snakes represent a false female friend, and oysters symbolize babies."
"Talking of babies," said Cyril, "where's the Lamb?"
"Speaking of babies," Cyril said, "where's the Lamb?"
"Martha's going to take him to Rochester to see her cousins. Mother said she might. She's dressing him now," said Jane, "in his very best coat and hat. Bread-and-butter, please."
"Martha's taking him to Rochester to see her cousins. Mom said she might. She's getting him dressed right now," said Jane, "in his best coat and hat. Can I have some bread and butter, please?"
"She seems to like taking him too," said Robert in a tone of wonder.
"She seems to enjoy taking him along as well," Robert said, sounding amazed.
"Servants do like taking babies to see their [Pg 40]relations," Cyril said; "I've noticed it before—especially in their best clothes."
"Servants do enjoy taking babies to meet their [Pg 40]relatives," Cyril said; "I've seen it before—especially when they’re dressed in their best."
"I expect they pretend they're their own babies, and that they're not servants at all, but married to noble dukes of high degree, and they say the babies are the little dukes and duchesses," Jane suggested dreamily, taking more marmalade. "I expect that's what Martha'll say to her cousin. She'll enjoy herself most frightfully."
"I think they pretend the babies are their own, and that they're not servants at all, but married to high-ranking dukes. They probably call the babies little dukes and duchesses," Jane suggested thoughtfully, grabbing more marmalade. "I bet that's what Martha will tell her cousin. She'll have a great time."
"She won't enjoy herself most frightfully carrying our infant duke to Rochester," said Robert; "not if she's anything like me—she won't."
"She won't have a good time at all taking our little duke to Rochester," said Robert; "if she's anything like me—she won't."
"Fancy walking to Rochester with the Lamb on your back!" said Cyril in full agreement.
"Imagine walking to Rochester with the Lamb on your back!" said Cyril, completely on board.
"She's gone by the carrier's cart," said Jane. "Let's see them off, then we shall have done a polite and kindly act, and we shall be quite sure we've got rid of them for the day."
"She’s left in the delivery cart," said Jane. "Let’s go see them off, then we’ll have done a nice and considerate thing, and we can be sure we’ve gotten rid of them for the day."
So they did.
So they did.
Martha wore her Sunday dress of two shades of purple, so tight in the chest that it made her [Pg 41]stoop, and her blue hat with the pink cornflowers and white ribbon. She had a yellow-lace collar with a green bow. And the Lamb had indeed his very best cream-colored silk coat and hat. It was a smart party that the carrier's cart picked up at the Cross Roads. When its white tilt and red wheels had slowly vanished in a swirl of chalk-dust—
Martha wore her Sunday dress in two shades of purple, so tight in the chest that it made her [Pg 41]stoop, along with her blue hat decorated with pink cornflowers and a white ribbon. She had a yellow lace collar with a green bow. The Lamb was dressed in his best cream-colored silk coat and hat. It was a stylish group that the carrier's cart picked up at the Cross Roads. When the white tilt and red wheels slowly disappeared in a cloud of chalk dust—
"And now for the Sammyadd!" said Cyril, and off they went.
"And now for the Sammyadd!" said Cyril, and they took off.
As they went they decided on the wish they would ask for. Although they were all in a great hurry they did not try to climb down the sides of the gravel-pit, but went round by the safe lower road, as if they had been carts.
As they walked, they figured out what wish they wanted to make. Even though they were in a big rush, they didn't attempt to climb down the steep sides of the gravel pit but instead took the safer, lower path, like they were in vehicles.
They had made a ring of stones round the place where the Sand-fairy had disappeared, so they easily found the spot. The sun was burning and bright, and the sky was deep blue—without a cloud. The sand was very hot to touch.
They had arranged a circle of stones around the spot where the Sand-fairy had vanished, so they easily located it. The sun was blazing and bright, and the sky was a deep blue—completely clear. The sand was extremely hot to the touch.
"Oh—suppose it was only a dream, after all," Robert said as the boys uncovered their [Pg 42]spades from the sand-heap where they had buried them and began to dig.
"Oh—what if it was just a dream, anyway," Robert said as the boys dug their [Pg 42]spades out of the sandpile where they had buried them and started to dig.
"Suppose you were a sensible chap," said Cyril; "one's quite as likely as the other!"
"Imagine you were a sensible guy," said Cyril; "you're just as likely as anyone else!"
"Suppose you kept a civil tongue in your head," Robert snapped.
"Why don't you keep your language in check?" Robert snapped.
"Suppose we girls take a turn," said Jane, laughing. "You boys seem to be getting very warm."
"How about we girls take a turn?" Jane said with a laugh. "You boys seem to be getting pretty warm."
"Suppose you don't come putting your silly oar in," said Robert, who was now warm indeed.
"Just stay out of it," said Robert, now feeling pretty heated.
"We won't," said Anthea quickly. "Robert dear, don't be so grumpy—we won't say a word, you shall be the one to speak to the Fairy and tell him what we've decided to wish for. You'll say it much better than we shall."
"We won't," Anthea said quickly. "Robert, don't be so grumpy—we won't say a word. You will be the one to talk to the Fairy and tell him what we've decided to wish for. You'll say it much better than we will."
"Suppose you drop being a little humbug," said Robert, but not crossly. "Look out—dig with your hands, now!"
"Why not stop being a bit of a pain," Robert said, but not angrily. "Watch out—start digging with your hands now!"
So they did, and presently uncovered the spider-shaped brown hairy body, long arms and legs, bat's ears and snail's eyes of the Sand-fairy himself. Everyone drew a deep breath [Pg 43]of satisfaction, for now of course it couldn't have been a dream.
So they did, and soon revealed the spider-shaped brown hairy body, long arms and legs, bat-like ears, and snail-like eyes of the Sand-fairy himself. Everyone let out a deep breath [Pg 43] of satisfaction, because now it definitely couldn't have been a dream.
The Psammead sat up and shook the sand out of its fur.
The Psammead sat up and shook the sand out of its fur.
"How's your left whisker this morning?" said Anthea politely.
"How's your left whisker this morning?" Anthea asked politely.
"Nothing to boast of," said it; "it had rather a restless night. But thank you for asking."
"Nothing to brag about," it said; "I had a pretty restless night. But thanks for asking."
"I say," said Robert, "do you feel up to giving wishes to-day, because we very much want an extra besides the regular one? The extra's a very little one," he added reassuringly.
"I say," Robert said, "are you up for making wishes today? We really want an extra one in addition to the usual. The extra is just a tiny one," he added to reassure.
"Humph!" said the Sand-fairy. (If you read this story aloud, please pronounce "humph" exactly as it is spelt, for that is how he said it.) "Humph! Do you know, until I heard you being disagreeable to each other just over my head, and so loud too, I really quite thought I had dreamed you all. I do have very odd dreams sometimes."
"Humph!" said the Sand-fairy. (If you read this story out loud, please say "humph" exactly as it's spelled, because that's how he said it.) "Humph! You know, until I heard you being so unpleasant to each other right above me, and so loudly too, I truly thought I had just imagined you all. I really do have some strange dreams sometimes."
"Do you?" Jane hurried to say, so as to get away from the subject of disagreeableness. "I [Pg 44]wish," she added politely, "you'd tell us about your dreams—they must be awfully interesting"—
"Do you?" Jane quickly replied, wanting to change the topic from something unpleasant. "I [Pg 44]wish," she added politely, "you'd share your dreams—they must be really interesting."
"Is that the day's wish?" said the Sand-fairy, yawning.
"Is that what you wish for today?" said the Sand-fairy, yawning.
Cyril muttered something about "just like a girl," and the rest stood silent. If they said "Yes," then good-bye to the other wishes they had decided to ask for. If they said "No," it would be very rude, and they had all been taught manners, and had learned a little too, which is not at all the same thing. A sigh of relief broke from all lips when the Sand-fairy said—
Cyril mumbled something about "just like a girl," and the others fell silent. If they said "Yes," they would have to forget about the other wishes they had planned to ask for. If they said "No," it would be really rude, and they had all been taught to have good manners, and had learned a bit too, which is not quite the same thing. A sigh of relief escaped everyone's lips when the Sand-fairy said—
"If I do, I shan't have strength to give you a second wish; not even good tempers, or common-sense, or manners, or little things like that."
"If I do, I won't have the strength to grant you a second wish; not even good moods, common sense, manners, or little things like that."
"We don't want you to put yourself out at all about these things, we can manage them quite well ourselves," said Cyril eagerly; while the others looked guiltily at each other, and wished the Fairy would not keep all on about good tempers, but give them one good [Pg 45]scolding if it wanted to, and then have done with it.
"We don't want you to stress yourself out about these things; we can handle them perfectly fine on our own," Cyril said eagerly, while the others exchanged guilty glances and hoped the Fairy would stop harping on about having good tempers and just give them one good [Pg 45]scolding if she wanted to, and then move on.
"Well," said the Psammead, putting out his long snail's eyes so suddenly that one of them nearly went into the round boy's eye of Robert, "let's have the little wish first."
"Well," said the Psammead, popping out its long snail-like eyes so suddenly that one almost poked Robert in the eye, "let's start with the little wish first."
"We don't want the servants to notice the gifts you give us."
"We don't want the staff to see the gifts you give us."
"Are kind enough to give us," said Anthea in a whisper.
"Are you kind enough to give us," said Anthea in a whisper.
"Are kind enough to give us, I mean," said Robert.
"Are you kind enough to give us, I mean," said Robert.
The Fairy swelled himself out a bit, let his breath go, and said—
The Fairy puffed himself up a little, exhaled, and said—
"I've done that for you—it was quite easy. People don't notice things much, anyway. What's the next wish?"
"I've done that for you—it was pretty easy. People don’t really pay attention to things, anyway. What’s the next wish?"
"We want," said Robert slowly, "to be rich beyond the dreams of something or other."
"We want," said Robert slowly, "to be incredibly wealthy beyond anyone's wildest dreams."
"Avarice," said Jane.
"Greed," said Jane.
"So it is," said the Fairy unexpectedly. "But it won't do you much good, that's one comfort," it muttered to itself. "Come—I can't go beyond dreams, you know! How much do [Pg 46]you want, and will you have it in gold or notes?"
"So it is," said the Fairy unexpectedly. "But that won't help you much, which is one good thing," it murmured to itself. "Come on—I can't go beyond dreams, you know! How much do [Pg 46]you want, and do you want it in gold or cash?"
"Gold, please—and millions of it"—
"Gold, please—and millions of it."
"This gravel-pit full be enough?" said the Fairy in an off-hand manner.
"This gravel pit good enough?" said the Fairy casually.
"Oh yes"—
"Oh yes"—
"Then go out before I begin, or you'll be buried alive in it."
"Then leave before I start, or you'll be buried in it."
It made its skinny arms so long, and waved them so frighteningly, that the children ran as hard as they could towards the road by which carts used to come to the gravel-pits. Only Anthea had presence of mind enough to shout a timid "Good-morning, I hope your whisker will be better to-morrow," as she ran.
It stretched its thin arms out so long and waved them so scarily that the kids took off running as fast as they could toward the road where the carts used to arrive at the gravel pits. Only Anthea had the presence of mind to shout a shy "Good morning, I hope your whisker gets better tomorrow," as she ran.
On the road they turned and looked back, and they had to shut their eyes, and open them very slowly, a little bit at a time, because the sight was too dazzling for their eyes to be able to bear. It was something like trying to look at the sun at high noon on Midsummer Day. For the whole of the sand-pit was full, right up to the very top, with new shining gold [Pg 47]pieces, and all the little bank-martins' little front doors were covered out of sight. Where the road for carts wound into the gravel-pit the gold lay in heaps like stones lie by the roadside, and a great bank of shining gold shelved down from where it lay flat and smooth between the tall sides of the gravel-pit. And all the gleaming heaps was minted gold. And on the sides and edges of these countless coins the mid-day sun shone and sparkled, and glowed and gleamed till the quarry looked like the mouth of a smelting furnace, or one of the fairy halls that you see sometimes in the sky at sunset.
On the road, they turned and looked back, and they had to close their eyes, then open them very slowly, bit by bit, because the sight was too bright for their eyes to handle. It was like trying to look at the sun at high noon on Midsummer Day. The entire sand-pit was filled to the top with new, shining gold [Pg 47] pieces, and all the little bank-martins’ front doors were completely covered. Where the cart path curved into the gravel-pit, the gold was piled high like stones along the roadside, and a massive bank of shiny gold sloped down from where it lay flat and smooth between the tall sides of the gravel-pit. All the gleaming piles were minted gold. The midday sun shone, sparkled, glowed, and gleamed on the sides and edges of these countless coins until the quarry looked like the mouth of a smelting furnace, or one of those fairy halls you sometimes see in the sky at sunset.
The children stood with their mouths open, and no one said a word.
The kids stood there with their mouths open, and nobody said a word.
At last Robert stooped and picked up one of the loose coins from the edge of the heap by the cart-road, and looked at it. He looked on both sides. Then he said in a low voice, quite different to his own, "It's not sovereigns."
At last, Robert bent down and picked up one of the loose coins from the edge of the pile by the cart path and examined it. He looked at both sides. Then he said in a quiet voice, quite different from his own, "It's not sovereigns."
"It's gold, anyway," said Cyril. And now they all began to talk at once. They all picked up the golden treasure by handfuls and let it [Pg 48]run through their fingers like water, and the chink it made as it fell was wonderful music. At first they quite forgot to think of spending the money, it was so nice to play with. Jane sat down between two heaps of the gold, and Robert began to bury her, as you bury your father in sand when you are at the seaside and he has gone to sleep on the beach with his newspaper over his face. But Jane was not half buried before she cried out, "Oh stop, it's too heavy! It hurts!"
"It's gold, anyway," Cyril said. Then they all started talking at the same time. They scooped up the golden treasure by the handfuls and let it [Pg 48] slip through their fingers like water, and the sound it made as it fell was incredible music. At first, they completely forgot about spending the money because it was so much fun to play with. Jane sat down between two piles of gold, and Robert started to bury her like you would bury your dad in sand when you're at the beach and he's fallen asleep with his newspaper over his face. But Jane wasn't even halfway buried before she shouted, "Oh stop, it's too heavy! It hurts!"
Robert said "Bosh!" and went on.
Robert said, "Nonsense!" and kept going.
"Let me out, I tell you," cried Jane, and was taken out, very white, and trembling a little.
"Let me out, I swear," Jane shouted, and she was let out, looking very pale and shaking a bit.
"You've no idea what it's like," said she; "it's like stones on you—or like chains."
"You have no idea what it’s like," she said; "it feels like stones weighing you down—or like chains."
"Look here," Cyril said, "if this is to do us any good, it's no good our staying gasping at it like this. Let's fill our pockets and go and buy things. Don't you forget, it won't last after sunset. I wish we'd asked the Sammyadd why things don't turn to stone. Perhaps this will. I'll tell you what, there's a pony and cart in the village."[Pg 49]
"Listen," Cyril said, "if this is going to help us at all, we can’t just stand here staring at it. Let’s grab some and go buy stuff. Remember, it won’t last past sunset. I wish we’d asked the Sammyadd why things don’t turn to stone. Maybe this will. You know what? There’s a pony and cart in the village."[Pg 49]
"Do you want to buy that?" asked Jane.
"Do you want to buy that?" Jane asked.
"No, silly,—we'll hire it. And then we'll go to Rochester and buy heaps and heaps of things. Look here, let's each take as much as we can carry. But it's not sovereigns. They've got a man's head on one side and a thing like the ace of spades on the other. Fill your pockets with it, I tell you, and come along. You can talk as we go—if you must talk."
"No, don't be silly—we'll rent it. Then we'll head to Rochester and buy tons of stuff. Here, let's each take as much as we can carry. But it's not coins. They have a man's head on one side and something like the ace of spades on the other. Stuff your pockets with it, I'm telling you, and let's go. You can talk while we walk—if you have to talk."
Cyril sat down and began to fill his pockets.
Cyril sat down and started filling his pockets.
"You made fun of me for getting father to have nine pockets in my suit," said he, "but now you see!"
"You teased me for getting Dad to add nine pockets to my suit," he said, "but now you see!"
They did. For when Cyril had filled his nine pockets and his handkerchief and the space between himself and his shirt front with the gold coins, he had to stand up. But he staggered, and had to sit down again in a hurry.
They did. Because when Cyril had stuffed his nine pockets, his handkerchief, and the gap between himself and his shirt front with gold coins, he had to stand up. But he wobbled and had to quickly sit down again.
"Throw out some of the cargo," said Robert. "You'll sink the ship, old chap. That comes of nine pockets."
"Get rid of some of the cargo," said Robert. "You'll sink the ship, buddy. That's what happens with nine pockets."
Then they set off to walk to the village. It was more than a mile, and the road was very dusty indeed, and the sun seemed to get hotter and hotter, and the gold in their pockets got heavier and heavier.
Then they set off to walk to the village. It was more than a mile, and the road was really dusty, and the sun felt hotter and hotter, and the gold in their pockets felt heavier and heavier.
It was Jane who said, "I don't see how we're to spend it all. There must be thousands of pounds among the lot of us. I'm going to leave some of mine behind this stump in the hedge. And directly we get to the village we'll buy some biscuits; I know it's long past dinner-time." She took out a handful or two of gold and hid it in the hollows of an old hornbeam. "How round and yellow they are," she said. "Don't you wish they were made of gingerbread and we were going to eat them?"
It was Jane who said, "I don't see how we're going to spend it all. There must be thousands of pounds among us. I'm going to leave some of mine behind this stump in the hedge. As soon as we get to the village, we'll buy some cookies; I know it's long past dinner time." She took out a handful or two of gold and hid it in the hollows of an old hornbeam. "Look how round and yellow they are," she said. "Don't you wish they were made of gingerbread and we were going to eat them?"
"Well, they're not, and we're not," said Cyril. "Come on!"
"Well, they aren't, and we aren't," Cyril said. "Let's go!"
But they came on heavily and wearily. Before they reached the village, more than one stump in the hedge concealed its little hoard of hidden treasure. Yet they reached the village with about twelve hundred guineas in their [Pg 51]pockets. But in spite of this inside wealth they looked quite ordinary outside, and no one would have thought they could have more than a half-crown each at the outside. The haze of heat, the blue of the wood smoke, made a sort of dim misty cloud over the red roofs of the village. The four sat down heavily on the first bench to which they came. It happened to be outside the Blue Boar Inn.
But they arrived feeling exhausted and burdened. Before they got to the village, more than one stump in the hedge hid its little stash of treasures. Still, they made it to the village with about twelve hundred guineas in their [Pg 51] pockets. Despite this hidden wealth, they looked completely ordinary on the outside, and no one would have guessed they had more than a half-crown each at most. The heat haze and the blue of the wood smoke created a sort of dim, misty cloud over the village's red roofs. The four of them plopped down heavily on the first bench they found, which was outside the Blue Boar Inn.
It was decided that Cyril should go into the Blue Boar and ask for ginger-beer, because, as Anthea said, "It was not wrong for men to go into beer-saloons, only for children. And Cyril is nearer being a man than us, because he is the eldest." So he went. The others sat in the sun and waited.
Cyril was chosen to go into the Blue Boar and order ginger beer because, as Anthea said, "It's not wrong for men to go into bars, just for kids. And Cyril is closer to being a man than we are since he's the oldest." So he went. The others sat in the sun and waited.
"Oh, how hot it is!" said Robert. "Dogs put their tongues out when they're hot; I wonder if it would cool us at all to put out ours?"
"Oh, it's so hot!" said Robert. "Dogs stick out their tongues when they're hot; I wonder if it would cool us off if we stuck out ours?"
"We might try," Jane said; and they all put their tongues out as far as ever they could go, so that it quite stretched their throats, but it only seemed to make them thirstier than ever, [Pg 52]besides annoying everyone who went by. So they took their tongues in again, just as Cyril came back with ginger-beer.
"We could give it a shot," Jane said; and they all stuck their tongues out as far as they could, stretching their throats, but it only made them even thirstier, [Pg 52] and also annoyed everyone passing by. So they pulled their tongues back in just as Cyril returned with ginger beer.
"I had to pay for it out of my own money, though, that I was going to buy rabbits with," he said. "They wouldn't change the gold. And when I pulled out a handful the man just laughed and said it was card-counters. And I got some sponge-cakes too, out of a glass jar on the bar-counter. And some biscuits with caraways in."
"I had to pay for it with my own money, which I was going to use to buy rabbits," he said. "They wouldn’t exchange the gold. And when I pulled out a handful, the guy just laughed and said it was from card-counters. I also got some sponge cakes from a glass jar on the bar counter. And some caraway biscuits."
The sponge-cakes were both soft and dry and the biscuits were dry too, and yet soft, which biscuits ought not to be. But the ginger-beer made up for everything.
The sponge cakes were both soft and dry, and the biscuits were dry too, yet soft, which biscuits shouldn't be. But the ginger beer made up for it all.
"It's my turn now to try to buy something with the money," Anthea said; "I'm next eldest. Where is the pony-cart kept?"
"It's my turn now to try to buy something with the money," Anthea said; "I'm the next oldest. Where's the pony-cart stored?"
It was at The Chequers, and Anthea went in the back way to the yard, because they all knew that little girls ought not to go into the bars of beer-saloons. She came out, as she herself said, "pleased but not proud."
It was at The Chequers, and Anthea went in the back way to the yard, because everyone knew that little girls shouldn’t go into the bars of pubs. She came out, as she herself said, "happy but not boasting."
"He'll be ready in a brace of shakes, he says,"[Pg 53] she remarked, "and he's to have one sovereign—or whatever it is—to drive us into Rochester and back, besides waiting there till we've got everything we want. I think I managed very well."
"He'll be ready in no time, he says,"[Pg 53] she remarked, "and he’s going to get one pound—or whatever it is—to drive us to Rochester and back, plus waiting there until we've got everything we need. I think I did pretty well."
"You think yourself jolly clever, I daresay," said Cyril moodily. "How did you do it?"
"You think you're really clever, don't you?" Cyril said sulkily. "How did you manage it?"
"I wasn't jolly clever enough to go taking handfuls of money out of my pocket, to make it seem cheap, anyway," she retorted. "I just found a young man doing something to a horse's legs with a sponge and a pail. And I held out one sovereign, and I said—'Do you know what this is?' He said 'No,' and he'd call his father. And the old man came, and he said it was a spade guinea; and he said was it my own to do as I liked with, and I said 'Yes'; and I asked about the pony-cart, and I said he could have the guinea if he'd drive us into Rochester. And his name is S. Crispin. And he said, 'Right oh.'"
"I wasn't clever enough to pull out handfuls of cash to make it look cheap, anyway," she shot back. "I just spotted a young guy doing something to a horse's legs with a sponge and a bucket. I held out a sovereign and asked, 'Do you know what this is?' He said, 'No,' and he would call his dad. Then the old man came over, said it was a spade guinea, and asked if it was mine to do whatever I wanted with. I said, 'Yes,' and asked about the pony-cart. I told him he could have the guinea if he drove us into Rochester. His name is S. Crispin. He said, 'Right oh.'"
It was a new sensation to be driven in a smart pony-trap along pretty country roads; it was very pleasant too (which is not always the case [Pg 54]with new sensations), quite apart from the beautiful plans of spending the money which each child made as they went along, silently of course and quite to itself, for they felt it would never have done to let the old innkeeper hear them talk in the affluent sort of way in which they were thinking. The old man put them down by the bridge at their request.
It was a fresh experience to be driven in a stylish pony carriage along charming country roads; it was also quite enjoyable (which isn't always the case with new experiences), aside from the beautiful ideas for spending the money that each child imagined as they traveled, silently, of course, since they felt it wouldn't be appropriate to let the old innkeeper hear them talk in the fancy way they were thinking. The old man dropped them off by the bridge as they requested.
"If you were going to buy a carriage and horses, where would you go?" asked Cyril, as if he were only asking for the sake of something to say.
"If you were going to buy a carriage and horses, where would you go?" asked Cyril, as if he were just making small talk.
"Billy Peasemarsh, at the Saracen's Head," said the old man promptly. "Though all forbid I should recommend any man where it's a question of horses, no more than I'd take anybody else's recommending if I was a-buying one. But if your pa's thinking of a rig of any sort, there ain't a straighter man in Rochester, nor civiller spoken, than Billy, though I says it."
"Billy Peasemarsh, at the Saracen's Head," the old man said quickly. "Even though I wouldn’t ever recommend anyone when it comes to horses—just like I wouldn’t trust anyone else’s recommendation if I were buying one. But if your dad is considering any kind of setup, there isn’t a more honest guy in Rochester or someone more polite than Billy, if I do say so myself."
"Thank you," said Cyril. "The Saracen's Head."
"Thank you," Cyril said. "The Saracen's Head."
And now the children began to see one of [Pg 55]the laws of nature turn upside down and stand on its head like an acrobat. Any grown-up person would tell you that money is hard to get and easy to spend. But the fairy money had been easy to get, and spending it was not only hard, it was almost impossible. The trades-people of Rochester seemed to shrink, to a trades-person, from the glittering fairy gold ("furrin money" they called it, for the most part).
And now the kids started to see one of the [Pg 55]laws of nature be turned upside down, like an acrobat. Any adult would say that money is tough to earn and easy to spend. But the fairy money was easy to obtain, and not only was spending it hard, it was almost impossible. The merchants of Rochester seemed to shrink away, one by one, from the shining fairy gold (which they mostly referred to as "foreign money").
To begin with, Anthea, who had had the misfortune to sit on her hat earlier in the day, wished to buy another. She chose a very beautiful one, trimmed with pink roses and the blue breasts of peacocks. It was marked in the window, "Paris Model, three guineas."
To start with, Anthea, who had the bad luck of sitting on her hat earlier in the day, wanted to buy a new one. She picked out a really beautiful hat, decorated with pink roses and blue peacock feathers. It had a price tag in the window that read, "Paris Model, three guineas."
"I'm glad," she said, "because it says guineas, and not sovereigns, which we haven't got."
"I'm glad," she said, "because it says guineas and not sovereigns, which we don't have."
But when she took three of the spade guineas in her hand, which was by this time rather dirty owing to her not having put on gloves before going to the gravel-pit, the black-silk young lady in the shop looked very hard at her, [Pg 56]and went and whispered something to an older and uglier lady, also in black silk, and then they gave her back the money and said it was not current coin.
But when she picked up three of the gold guineas, which by now were quite dirty since she hadn’t worn gloves before heading to the gravel pit, the young lady in black silk at the shop stared at her closely, [Pg 56]and then went over to whisper something to an older and less attractive lady, also dressed in black silk. They then returned the money to her and said it wasn't valid currency.
"It's good money," said Anthea, "and it's my own."
"It's good money," Anthea said, "and it's mine."
"I daresay," said the lady, "but it's not the kind of money that's fashionable now, and we don't care about taking it."
"I must say," the lady said, "it's just not the kind of money that's trendy anymore, and we’re not interested in accepting it."
"I believe they think we've stolen it," said Anthea, rejoining the others in the street; "if we had gloves they wouldn't think we were so dishonest. It's my hands being so dirty fills their minds with doubts."
"I think they believe we’ve stolen it," Anthea said, rejoining the others in the street. "If we had gloves on, they wouldn’t think we were so dishonest. It’s my dirty hands that make them doubt us."
So they chose a humble shop, and the girls bought cotton gloves, the kind at a shilling, but when they offered a guinea the woman looked at it through her spectacles and said she had no change; so the gloves had to be paid for out of Cyril's money with which he meant to buy rabbits and so had the green imitation crocodile-skin purse at nine-pence which had been bought at the same time. They tried several more shops, the kinds where [Pg 57]you buy toys and perfume and silk handkerchiefs and books, and fancy boxes of stationery, and photographs of objects of interest in the vicinity. But nobody cared to change a guinea that day in Rochester, and as they went from shop to shop they got dirtier and dirtier, and their hair got more and more untidy, and Jane slipped and fell down on a part of the road where a water cart had just gone by. Also they got very hungry, but they found no one would give them anything to eat for their guineas.
So they picked a small shop, and the girls bought cotton gloves that cost a shilling, but when they tried to pay with a guinea, the woman looked at it through her glasses and said she had no change; so they had to use Cyril's money meant for buying rabbits to pay for the gloves, along with a green imitation crocodile-skin purse that cost nine pence and was bought at the same time. They checked out several more shops, the kinds where [Pg 57]you can get toys, perfume, silk handkerchiefs, books, fancy stationery boxes, and photos of interesting local sights. But nobody wanted to change a guinea that day in Rochester, and as they went from shop to shop, they got dirtier and dirtier, their hair became messier and messier, and Jane slipped and fell in a spot on the road where a water cart had just passed. They also got really hungry, but they found that no one would give them anything to eat for their guineas.
After trying two baker shops in vain, they became so hungry, perhaps from the smell of the cake in the shops, as Cyril suggested, that they formed a plan of campaign in whispers and carried it out in desperation. They marched into a third baker shop,—Beale was his name,—and before the people behind the counter could interfere each child had seized three new penny buns, clapped the three together between its dirty hands, and taken a big bite out of the triple sandwich. Then they stood at bay, with the twelve buns [Pg 58]in their hands and their mouths very full indeed. The shocked baker's man bounded round the corner.
After unsuccessfully trying two bakeries, they got really hungry, maybe from the smell of the cakes in the shops, as Cyril pointed out, so they came up with a plan in hushed voices and executed it out of desperation. They marched into a third bakery—Beale was the name—and before the people behind the counter could react, each child grabbed three fresh penny buns, squished them together between their dirty hands, and took a big bite out of the makeshift sandwich. Then they stood their ground, holding the twelve buns [Pg 58] in their hands with their mouths very full. The shocked baker's assistant came running around the corner.
"Here," said Cyril, speaking as distinctly as he could, and holding out the guinea he got ready before entering the shops, "pay yourself out of that."
"Here," said Cyril, speaking as clearly as he could and holding out the guinea he prepared before going into the shops, "take your payment from that."
Mr. Beale snatched the coin, bit it, and put it in his pocket.
Mr. Beale grabbed the coin, bit it, and put it in his pocket.
"Off you go," he said, brief and stern like the man in the song.
"Off you go," he said, short and serious like the guy in the song.
"But the change?" said Anthea, who had a saving mind.
"But the change?" said Anthea, who was practical-minded.
"Change!" said the man, "I'll change you! Hout you goes; and you may think yourselves lucky I don't send for the police to find out where you got it!"
"Change!" said the man, "I'll change you! Out you go; and you should consider yourselves lucky I don't call the police to figure out where you got it!"
In the Gardens of the Castle the millionaires finished the buns, and though the curranty softness of these were delicious, and acted like a charm in raising the spirits of the party, yet even the stoutest heart quailed at the thought of venturing to sound Mr. Billy Peasemarsh at the Saracen's Head on the subject of a horse [Pg 59]and carriage. The boys would have given up the idea, but Jane was always a hopeful child, and Anthea generally an obstinate one, and their earnestness prevailed.
In the Castle Gardens, the wealthy guests finished their buns, and while the sweet softness of these treats was delightful and lifted everyone's spirits, even the bravest among them hesitated at the thought of asking Mr. Billy Peasemarsh at the Saracen's Head about a horse [Pg 59] and carriage. The boys would have dropped the idea, but Jane was always an optimistic kid, and Anthea was usually stubborn, so their determination won out.
The whole party, by this time indescribably dirty, therefore betook itself to the Saracen's Head. The yard-method of attack having been successful at The Chequers, was tried again here. Mr. Peasemarsh was in the yard, and Robert opened the business in these terms—
The whole party, now incredibly dirty, decided to go to the Saracen's Head. Since the yard approach had worked at The Chequers, they tried it again here. Mr. Peasemarsh was in the yard, and Robert started the conversation like this—
"They tell me you have a lot of horses and carriages to sell." It had been agreed that Robert should be spokesman, because in books it is always gentlemen who buy horses, and not ladies, and Cyril had had his go at the Blue Boar.
"They tell me you have a lot of horses and carriages to sell." It was decided that Robert would be the one to speak, since in stories it’s always men who buy horses, not women, and Cyril had already had his turn at the Blue Boar.
"They tell you true, young man," said Mr. Peasemarsh. He was a long lean man, with very blue eyes and a tight mouth and narrow lips.
"They're telling you the truth, young man," said Mr. Peasemarsh. He was a tall, thin man with really blue eyes, a tight mouth, and narrow lips.
"We should like to buy some, please," said Robert politely.
"We'd like to buy some, please," Robert said politely.
"Will you show us a few, please? To choose from."
"Could you show us a few, please? So we can choose from them."
"Who are you a-kiddin of?" inquired Mr. Billy Peasemarsh. "Was you sent here of a message?"
"Who are you kidding?" asked Mr. Billy Peasemarsh. "Were you sent here with a message?"
"I tell you," said Robert, "we want to buy some horses and carriages, and a man told us you were straight and civil spoken, but I shouldn't wonder if he was mistaken"—
"I tell you," said Robert, "we want to buy some horses and carriages, and a guy told us you were honest and well-spoken, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was wrong."
"Upon my sacred!" said Mr. Peasemarsh. "Shall I trot the whole stable out for your Honor's worship to see? Or shall I send round to the Bishop's to see if he's a nag or two to dispose of?"
"Good grief!" said Mr. Peasemarsh. "Should I bring out the entire stable for you to check out? Or should I ask the Bishop if he has a horse or two to sell?"
"Please do," said Robert, "if it's not too much trouble. It would be very kind of you."
"Sure, go ahead," Robert said, "if it’s not too much trouble. That would be really nice of you."
Mr. Peasemarsh put his hands in his pockets and laughed, and they did not like the way he did it. Then he shouted "Willum!"
Mr. Peasemarsh put his hands in his pockets and laughed, and they didn't like the way he did it. Then he shouted, "Willum!"
A stooping ostler appeared in a stable door.
A bent stable worker appeared in the door of the stable.
"Here, Willum, come and look at this 'ere young dook! Wants to buy the whole stud, lock, stock, and bar'l. And ain't got tuppence [Pg 61]in his pocket to bless hisself with, I'll go bail!"
"Hey, Willum, come check out this young duke! He wants to buy the whole stud, everything included. And he doesn't have a penny [Pg 61]to his name, I swear!"
Willum's eyes followed his master's pointing thumb with contemptuous interest.
Willum watched his master's pointing thumb with a mix of disdain and curiosity.
"Do 'e, for sure?" he said.
"Are you serious?" he said.
But Robert spoke, though both the girls were now pulling at his jacket and begging him to "come along." He spoke, and he was very angry; he said—
But Robert spoke, even though both girls were tugging at his jacket and begging him to "come on." He spoke, and he was really angry; he said—
"I'm not a young duke, and I never pretended to be. And as for tuppence—what do you call this?" And before the others could stop him he had pulled out two fat handfuls of shining guineas, and held them out for Mr. Peasemarsh to look at. He did look. He snatched one up in his finger and thumb. He bit it, and Jane expected him to say, "The best horse in my stables is at your service." But the others knew better. Still it was a blow, even to the most desponding, when he said shortly—
"I'm not a young duke, and I never claimed to be. And as for tuppence—what do you call this?" Before anyone could stop him, he pulled out two big handfuls of shiny guineas and held them out for Mr. Peasemarsh to see. He did look. He grabbed one with his fingers, bit it, and Jane expected him to say, "The best horse in my stables is at your service." But the others knew better. Still, it was a shock, even to the most pessimistic, when he said flatly—
"Willum, shut the yard doors;" and Willum grinned and went to shut them.
"Willum, close the yard doors," and Willum smiled and went to close them.
"Good-afternoon," said Robert hastily; "we [Pg 62]shan't buy any horses now, whatever you say, and I hope it'll be a lesson to you." He had seen a little side gate open, and was moving towards it as he spoke. But Billy Peasemarsh put himself in the way.
"Good afternoon," Robert said quickly; "we [Pg 62]aren't buying any horses right now, no matter what you say, and I hope this will teach you a lesson." He noticed a small side gate was open and was heading toward it as he spoke. But Billy Peasemarsh stepped in front of him.
"Not so fast, you young off-scouring!" he said. "Willum, fetch the pleece."
"Slow down, you young pest!" he said. "Willum, get the police."
Willum went. The children stood huddled together like frightened sheep, and Mr. Peasemarsh spoke to them till the pleece arrived. He said many things. Among other things he said—
Willum left. The children gathered close together like scared sheep, and Mr. Peasemarsh talked to them until the police arrived. He said a lot of things. Among other things, he said—
"Nice lot you are, aren't you, coming tempting honest men with your guineas!"
"Nice job you have, right? Luring honest people in with your money!"
"They are our guineas," said Cyril boldly.
"They are our pets," said Cyril boldly.
"Oh, of course we don't know all about that, no more we don't—oh no—course not! And dragging little gells into it, too. 'Ere—I'll let the gells go if you'll come along to the pleece quiet."
"Oh, of course we don't know anything about that, we really don't—oh no—not at all! And dragging little girls into it, too. Here—I'll let the girls go if you'll come along to the police quietly."
"We won't be let go," said Jane heroically; "not without the boys. It's our money just as much as theirs, you wicked old man."
"We're not leaving," Jane said boldly. "Not without the guys. It's our money just as much as it is yours, you nasty old man."
"Where'd you get it, then?" said the man, [Pg 63]softening slightly, which was not at all what the boys expected when Jane began to call names.
"Where did you get it, then?" said the man, [Pg 63]softening a bit, which was not what the boys expected when Jane started calling names.
Jane cast a silent glance of agony at the others.
Jane threw a silent look of pain at the others.
"Lost your tongue, eh? Got it fast enough when it's for calling names with. Come, speak up! Where'd you get it?"
"Lost your tongue, huh? You had it quick enough when you were calling people names. Come on, speak up! Where did you get it?"
"Out of the gravel-pit," said truthful Jane.
"Out of the gravel pit," said honest Jane.
"Next article," said the man.
"Next article," the man said.
"I tell you we did," Jane said. "There's a fairy there—all over brown fur—with ears like a bat's and eyes like a snail's, and he gives you a wish a day, and they all come true."
"I’m telling you we did," Jane said. "There's a fairy there—all covered in brown fur—with ears like a bat's and eyes like a snail's, and he grants you one wish a day, and they all come true."
"Touched in the head, eh?" said the man in a low voice; "all the more shame to you boys dragging the poor afflicted child into your sinful burglaries."
"Crazy in the head, huh?" said the man in a quiet voice; "shame on you guys for dragging the poor troubled kid into your sinful burglaries."
"She's not mad; it's true," said Anthea; "there is a fairy. If I ever see him again I'll wish for something for you; at least I would if vengeance wasn't wicked—so there!"
"She's not mad; it's true," said Anthea; "there is a fairy. If I ever see him again, I'll wish for something for you; at least I would if revenge wasn't wrong—so there!"
"Lor' lumme," said Billy Peasemarsh, "if there ain't another on 'em!"[Pg 64]
"Lor' lumme," said Billy Peasemarsh, "if there isn't another one of them!"[Pg 64]
And now Willum came back, with a spiteful grin on his face, and at his back a policeman, with whom Mr. Peasemarsh spoke long in a hoarse earnest whisper.
And now Willum returned, wearing a malicious grin, and behind him was a police officer, with whom Mr. Peasemarsh spoke for a long time in a low, serious whisper.
"I daresay you're right," said the policeman at last. "Anyway, I'll take 'em up on a charge of unlawful possession, pending inquiries. And the magistrate will deal with the case. Send the afflicted ones to a home, as likely as not, and the boys to a reformatory. Now then, come along, youngsters! No use making a fuss. You bring the gells along, Mr. Peasemarsh, sir, and I'll shepherd the boys."
"I suppose you’re right," said the policeman finally. "In any case, I’ll charge them with illegal possession while we investigate. The magistrate will handle the case. They'll probably send the victims to a home, and the boys to a reform school. Now then, come on, kids! No point in creating a scene. You take the girls, Mr. Peasemarsh, and I'll take care of the boys."
Speechless with rage and horror, the four children were driven along the streets of Rochester. Tears of anger and shame blinded them, so that when Robert ran right into a passer-by he did not recognise her till a well-known voice said, "Well, if ever I did! Oh, Master Robert, whatever have you been a-doing of now?" And another voice, quite as well known, said, "Panty; want go own Panty!"
Speechless with anger and shock, the four kids were taken through the streets of Rochester. Tears of rage and embarrassment blurred their vision, so when Robert bumped into someone, he didn't recognize her until a familiar voice said, "Well, if I ever saw it! Oh, Master Robert, what on earth have you been up to now?" And another voice, just as familiar, said, "Panty; want go own Panty!"
They had run into Martha and the Baby!
They had come across Martha and the baby!
Martha behaved admirably. She refused to believe a word of the policeman's story, or of Mr. Peasemarsh's either, even when they made Robert turn out his pockets in an archway and show the guineas.
Martha acted impressively. She wouldn’t accept a single word of the policeman's story, or Mr. Peasemarsh's for that matter, even when they made Robert empty his pockets in an archway and display the guineas.
"I don't see nothing," she said. "You've gone out of your senses, you two! There ain't any gold there—only the poor child's hands, all over dirt, and like the very chimbley. Oh that I should ever see the day!"
"I don't see anything," she said. "You two have lost your minds! There isn’t any gold there—only the poor kid's hands, covered in dirt, and like the very chimney. Oh, I can’t believe I’m seeing this day!"
And the children thought this very noble of Martha, even if rather wicked, till they remembered how the Fairy had promised that the servants should never notice any of the fairy gifts. So of course Martha couldn't see the gold, and so was only speaking the truth, and that was quite right, of course, but not extra noble.
And the kids thought it was really kind of Martha, even if a bit mischievous, until they remembered how the Fairy had promised that the servants would never notice any of the fairy gifts. So, of course, Martha couldn't see the gold, which meant she was just being honest, and that was completely fair, but not particularly noble.
It was getting dusk when they reached the police-station. The policeman told his tale to an inspector, who sat in a large bare room with a thing like a clumsy nursery-fender at one end to put prisoners in. Robert wondered whether it was a cell or a dock.[Pg 66]
It was getting dark when they arrived at the police station. The officer shared his story with an inspector, who was sitting in a large, empty room with something that resembled a bulky nursery fence at one end for confining prisoners. Robert wondered if it was a cell or a dock.[Pg 66]
"Produce the coins, officer," said the inspector.
"Show me the coins, officer," said the inspector.
"Turn out your pockets," said the constable.
"Empty your pockets," said the officer.
Cyril desperately plunged his hands in his pockets, stood still a moment, and then began to laugh—an odd sort of laugh that hurt, and that felt much more like crying. His pockets were empty. So were the pockets of the others. For of course at sunset all the fairy gold had vanished away.
Cyril desperately shoved his hands into his pockets, stood still for a moment, and then started laughing—an odd kind of laugh that hurt and felt a lot more like crying. His pockets were empty. So were the pockets of the others. Because, of course, at sunset all the fairy gold had vanished.
"Turn out your pockets, and stop that noise," said the inspector.
"Empty your pockets and stop making that noise," said the inspector.
Cyril turned out his pockets, every one of the nine which enriched his suit. And every pocket was empty.
Cyril emptied his pockets, all nine of them that filled his suit. And every pocket was empty.
"Well!" said the inspector.
"Well!" said the inspector.
"I don't know how they done it—artful little beggars! They walked in front of me the 'ole way, so as for me to keep my eye on them and not to attract a crowd and obstruct the traffic."
"I don't know how they did it—clever little tricksters! They walked right in front of me the whole way, so I could keep an eye on them without drawing a crowd or blocking the traffic."
"It's very remarkable," said the inspector, frowning.
"It's really impressive," said the inspector, frowning.
"If you've done a-browbeating of the inno[Pg 67]cent children," said Martha, "I'll hire a private carriage and we'll drive home to their papa's mansion. You'll hear about this again, young man!—I told you they hadn't got any gold, when you were pretending to see it in their poor helpless hands. It's early in the day for a constable on duty not to be able to trust his own eyes. As to the other one, the less said the better; he keeps the Saracen's Head, and he knows best what his liquor's like."
"If you've bullied those innocent children," said Martha, "I'll hire a private carriage and we'll drive home to their dad's mansion. You'll hear about this again, young man!—I told you they didn't have any gold when you were pretending to see it in their poor helpless hands. It’s early in the day for a cop on duty not to be able to trust his own eyes. As for the other one, it’s better not to say much; he runs the Saracen’s Head, and he knows best what his drinks are like."
"Take them away, for goodness' sake," said the inspector crossly. But as they left the police-station he said, "Now then!" to the policeman and Mr. Peasemarsh, and he said it twenty times as crossly as he had spoken to Martha.
"Get them out of here, for heaven's sake," the inspector said angrily. But as they left the police station, he turned to the policeman and Mr. Peasemarsh and said, "Now then!" twenty times more irritably than he had spoken to Martha.
Martha was as good as her word. She took them home in a very grand carriage, because the carrier's cart was gone, and, though she had stood by them so nobly with the police, she was so angry with them as soon as they were alone for "trapesing into Rochester by themselves," that none of them dared to men[Pg 68]tion the old man with the pony-cart from the village who was waiting for them in Rochester. And so, after one day of boundless wealth, the children found themselves sent to bed in deep disgrace, and only enriched by two pairs of cotton gloves, dirty inside because of the state of the hands they had been put on to cover, an imitation crocodile-skin purse, and twelve penny buns, long since digested.
Martha kept her promise. She took them home in a really fancy carriage because the carrier's cart was gone. Even though she had defended them so bravely with the police, she was furious with them as soon as they were alone for "sneaking into Rochester by themselves," so none of them dared to mention the old man with the pony cart from the village who was waiting for them in Rochester. And so, after one day of endless fun, the kids found themselves sent to bed in deep disgrace, only richer by two pairs of cotton gloves, stained inside because of the dirty hands they had been put on to cover, a fake crocodile-skin purse, and twelve penny buns, which had long since been digested.
The thing that troubled them most was the fear that the old gentleman's guinea might have disappeared at sunset with all the rest, so they went down to the village next day to apologise for not meeting him in Rochester, and to see. They found him very friendly. The guinea had not disappeared, and he had bored a hole in it and hung it on his watch-chain. As for the guinea the baker took, the children felt they could not care whether it had vanished or not, which was not perhaps very honest, but on the other hand was not wholly unnatural. But afterwards this preyed on Anthea's mind, and at last she secretly sent twelve postage stamps by post to "Mr. Beale,[Pg 69] Baker, Rochester." Inside she wrote, "To pay for the buns." I hope the guinea did disappear, for that baker was really not at all a nice man, and, besides, penny buns are seven for sixpence in all really respectable shops.[Pg 70]
The thing that worried them the most was the fear that the old gentleman's guinea might have vanished at sunset like everything else, so they went down to the village the next day to apologize for not meeting him in Rochester, and to see. They found him very friendly. The guinea hadn’t disappeared; he had bored a hole in it and hung it on his watch-chain. As for the guinea that the baker took, the children felt they could not care whether it had vanished or not, which might not have been very honest, but was also not entirely unnatural. However, later this weighed on Anthea's mind, and eventually, she secretly sent twelve postage stamps in the mail to "Mr. Beale,[Pg 69] Baker, Rochester." Inside, she wrote, "To pay for the buns." I hope the guinea did disappear because that baker was really not a nice man, and besides, penny buns are seven for sixpence in all decent shops.[Pg 70]
CHAPTER III
BEING WANTED
The morning after the children had been the possessors of boundless wealth, and had been unable to buy anything really useful or enjoyable with it, except two pairs of cotton gloves, twelve penny buns, an imitation crocodile-skin purse, and a ride in a pony-cart, they awoke without any of the enthusiastic happiness which they had felt on the previous day when they remembered how they had had the luck to find a Psammead, or Sand-fairy, and to receive its promise to grant them a new wish every day. For now they had had two wishes, Beauty and Wealth, and neither had exactly made them happy. But the happening of strange things, even if they are not completely pleasant things, is more amusing than those times when nothing happens but meals, and they are not always [Pg 71]completely pleasant, especially on the days when it is cold mutton or hash.
The morning after the children had come into a ton of wealth and had found it impossible to buy anything really useful or enjoyable with it, except for two pairs of cotton gloves, twelve penny buns, a fake crocodile-skin purse, and a ride in a pony cart, they woke up without any of the excited happiness they had felt the day before when they remembered their incredible luck in finding a Psammead, or Sand-fairy, that promised to grant them a new wish every day. Now they had used two wishes, Beauty and Wealth, and neither had really made them happy. But experiencing strange things, even if they aren't entirely pleasant, is more entertaining than those times when nothing happens except for meals, which aren’t always [Pg 71] completely pleasant, especially on days when it's cold mutton or hash.
There was no chance of talking things over before breakfast, because everyone overslept itself, as it happened, and it needed a vigorous and determined struggle to get dressed so as to be only ten minutes late for breakfast. During this meal some efforts were made to deal with the question of the Psammead in an impartial spirit, but it is very difficult to discuss anything thoroughly and at the same time to attend faithfully to your baby brother's breakfast needs. The Baby was particularly lively that morning. He not only wriggled his body through the bar of his high chair, and hung by his head, choking and purple, but he seized a tablespoon with desperate suddenness, hit Cyril heavily on the head with it, and then cried because it was taken away from him. He put his fat fist in his bread-and-milk, and demanded "nam," which was only allowed for tea. He sang, he put his feet on the table—he clamoured to "go walky." The conversation was something like this—[Pg 72]
There was no chance to talk things over before breakfast because everyone had overslept. It took a lot of effort just to get dressed and make it only ten minutes late to the table. During breakfast, they tried to discuss the situation with the Psammead fairly, but it’s hard to fully engage in a conversation while also attending to your baby brother’s breakfast needs. The Baby was especially active that morning. He not only wriggled out of his high chair and hung upside down, choking and turning purple, but he also suddenly grabbed a tablespoon, whacked Cyril on the head with it, and then cried when it was taken away from him. He plunged his chubby fist into his bread-and-milk and demanded "nam," which was only allowed at tea time. He sang, put his feet on the table, and insisted he wanted to "go walky." The conversation went something like this—[Pg 72]
"Look here—about that Sand-fairy—— Look out!—he'll have the milk over."
"Hey, about that Sand-fairy—Watch out! He’s going to spill the milk."
Milk removed to a safe distance.
Milk moved to a safe distance.
"Yes—about that Fairy—— No, Lamb dear, give Panther the narky poon."
"Yes—about that fairy—— No, sweetheart, give Panther the grumpy snack."
Then Cyril tried. "Nothing we've had yet has turned out—— He nearly had the mustard that time!"
Then Cyril gave it a shot. "Nothing we've had so far has worked—— He almost got the mustard that time!"
"I wonder whether we'd better wish—— Hullo!—you've done it now, my boy!" And in a flash of glass and pink baby-paws, the bowl of golden carp in the middle of the table rolled on its side and poured a flood of mixed water and gold-fish into the Baby's lap and into the laps of the others.
"I wonder if we should wish— Hey!—you've really messed up this time, kid!" And in a sudden burst of glass and tiny pink paws, the bowl of goldfish in the center of the table tipped over and spilled a wave of water and goldfish into the Baby's lap and onto the laps of the others.
Everyone was almost as much upset as the gold-fish; the Lamb only remaining calm. When the pool on the floor had been mopped up, and the leaping, gasping gold-fish had been collected and put back in the water, the Baby was taken away to be entirely re-dressed by Martha, and most of the others had to change completely. The pinafores and jackets that had been bathed in gold-fish-and-water [Pg 73]were hung out to dry, and then it turned out that Jane must either mend the dress she had torn the day before or appear all day in her best petticoat. It was white and soft and frilly, and trimmed with lace, and very, very pretty, quite as pretty as a frock, if not more so. Only it was not a frock, and Martha's word was law. She wouldn't let Jane wear her best frock, and she refused to listen for a moment to Robert's suggestion that Jane should wear her best petticoat and call it a dress.
Everyone was just as upset as the goldfish; the Lamb was the only one who stayed calm. After the pool of water on the floor was mopped up, and the jumping, gasping goldfish were collected and placed back in the water, the Baby was taken away to be completely redressed by Martha, and most of the others had to change entirely. The pinafores and jackets that had been soaked in goldfish-and-water [Pg 73] were hung out to dry, and then it turned out that Jane had to either fix the dress she had torn the day before or spend the whole day in her best petticoat. It was white and soft and frilly, trimmed with lace, and very, very pretty—almost as pretty as a dress, if not more so. The only problem was that it was not a dress, and Martha's word was final. She wouldn't let Jane wear her best dress, and she flat-out ignored Robert's suggestion that Jane could just wear her best petticoat and pretend it was a dress.
"It's not respectable," she said. And when people say that, it's no use anyone's saying anything. You'll find this out for yourselves some day.
"It's not respectable," she said. And when people say that, there's no point in anyone saying anything. You'll figure this out for yourselves someday.
So there was nothing for it but for Jane to mend her frock. The hole had been torn the day before when she happened to tumble down in the High Street of Rochester, just where a water-cart had passed on its silvery way. She had grazed her knee, and her stocking was much more than grazed, and her dress was cut by the same stone which had attended to the knee and the stocking. Of course the [Pg 74]others were not such sneaks as to abandon a comrade in misfortune, so they all sat on the grass-plot round the sun-dial, and Jane darned away for dear life. The Lamb was still in the hands of Martha having its clothes changed, so conversation was possible.
So Jane had no choice but to fix her dress. The hole had been torn the day before when she fell down in the High Street of Rochester, right where a water-cart had passed by. She had scraped her knee, and her stocking was in bad shape, and her dress was ripped by the same stone that had done damage to her knee and stocking. Naturally, the [Pg 74]others weren’t so sneaky as to ditch a friend in trouble, so they all sat on the grass around the sun-dial, and Jane stitched away like mad. The Lamb was still with Martha getting its clothes changed, so they could chat.
Anthea and Robert timidly tried to conceal their inmost thought, which was that the Psammead was not to be trusted; but Cyril said—
Anthea and Robert nervously tried to hide their true feelings, which were that the Psammead couldn't be trusted; but Cyril said—
"Speak out—say what you've got to say—I hate hinting, and 'don't know,' and sneakish ways like that."
"Speak up—say what you want to say—I can't stand hinting, 'I don't know,' and sneaky tactics like that."
So then Robert said, as in honour bound, "Sneak yourself—Anthea and me weren't so gold-fishy as you two were, so we got changed quicker, and we've had time to think it over, and if you ask me"—
So Robert said, as if obligated, "Sneak off—you two were more caught up than Anthea and I, so we changed faster, and we've had time to think it through, and if you ask me"—
"I didn't ask you," said Jane, biting off a needleful of thread as she had always been strictly forbidden to do. (Perhaps you don't know that if you bite off ends of cotton and swallow them they wind tight round your heart and kill you? My nurse told me this, [Pg 75]and she told me also about the earth going round the sun. Now what is one to believe—what with nurses and science?)
"I didn't ask you," said Jane, biting off a length of thread as she had always been strictly warned not to do. (Maybe you don’t know that if you bite off ends of cotton and swallow them, they wrap tightly around your heart and can kill you? My nurse told me this, [Pg 75] and she also told me about the Earth revolving around the sun. So what are you supposed to believe—with nurses and science?)
"I don't care who asks or who doesn't," said Robert, "but Anthea and I think the Sammyadd is a spiteful brute. If it can give us our wishes I suppose it can give itself its own, and I feel almost sure it wishes every time that our wishes shan't do us any good. Let's let the tiresome beast alone, and just go and have a jolly good game of forts, on our own, in the chalk-pit."
"I don't care who asks or who doesn’t," said Robert, "but Anthea and I think the Sammyadd is a mean creature. If it can grant our wishes, I guess it can wish for its own, and I’m pretty sure it hopes our wishes won’t be of any help to us. Let’s just leave the annoying thing alone and go have a fun game of forts by ourselves in the chalk-pit."
(You will remember that the happily-situated house where these children were spending their holidays lay between a chalk-quarry and a gravel-pit.)
(You will remember that the well-located house where these children were spending their holidays sat between a chalk quarry and a gravel pit.)
Cyril and Jane were more hopeful—they generally were.
Cyril and Jane were feeling more optimistic—they usually did.
"I don't think the Sammyadd does it on purpose," Cyril said; "and, after all, it was silly to wish for boundless wealth. Fifty pounds in two-shilling pieces would have been much more sensible. And wishing to be beautiful as the day was simply donkeyish. I don't [Pg 76]want to be disagreeable, but it was. We must try to find a really useful wish, and wish it."
"I don't think the Sammyadd does it intentionally," Cyril said; "and, honestly, it was kind of ridiculous to wish for unlimited wealth. Fifty pounds in two-shilling coins would have been much more reasonable. And wanting to be beautiful as the day was just foolish. I don't [Pg 76]want to be rude, but it was. We need to find a genuinely useful wish and hope for that."
Jane dropped her work and said—
Jane put her work aside and said—
"I think so too, it's too silly to have a chance like this and not use it. I never heard of anyone else outside a book who had such a chance; there must be simply heaps of things we could wish for that wouldn't turn out Dead Sea fish, like these two things have. Do let's think hard and wish something nice, so that we can have a real jolly day—what there is left of it."
"I think you're right, it's too ridiculous to have an opportunity like this and not take advantage of it. I’ve never heard of anyone outside of a book who got such a chance; there must be so many things we could wish for that wouldn’t end up as disappointing as these two wishes have. Let’s really think about it and come up with something nice to wish for, so we can have a fun day—what’s left of it."
Jane darned away again like mad, for time was indeed getting on, and everyone began to talk at once. If you had been there you could not possibly have made head or tail of the talk, but these children were used to talking "by fours," as soldiers march, and each of them could say what it had to say quite comfortably, and listen to the agreeable sound of its own voice, and at the same time have three-quarters of two sharp ears to spare for listening to what the others said. That is an easy example in multiplication of vulgar fractions, but, as I daresay you can't do even that, I won't [Pg 77]ask you to tell me whether 3/4 × 2 = 1-1/2, but I will ask you to believe me that this was the amount of ear each child was able to lend to the others. Lending ears was common in Roman times, as we learn from Shakespeare; but I fear I am getting too instructive.
Jane kept stitching like crazy because time was really flying, and everyone started to talk at once. If you had been there, you wouldn't have been able to make sense of it, but these kids were used to chatting "in fours," like soldiers march, and each one could comfortably express their thoughts, enjoy the sound of their own voice, and still have most of their attention available to listen to what the others were saying. It’s a simple example in multiplying fractions, but since you might not even be familiar with that, I won’t bother asking you if 3/4 × 2 = 1-1/2. Instead, I just want you to believe me that this was the amount of attention each child could give to the others. Sharing attention was common in ancient Rome, as we learn from Shakespeare; but I worry I’m becoming too educational.
When the frock was darned, the start for the gravel-pit was delayed by Martha's insisting on everybody's washing its hands—which was nonsense, because nobody had been doing anything at all, except Jane, and how can you get dirty doing nothing? That is a difficult question, and I cannot answer it on paper. In real life I could very soon show you—or you me, which is much more likely.
When the dress was mended, the trip to the gravel pit was held up because Martha insisted everyone wash their hands—which was silly, since nobody had done anything but Jane, and how can you get dirty doing nothing? That's a tricky question, and I can't answer it in writing. In real life, I could quickly show you—or you could show me, which is probably more likely.
During the conversation in which the six ears were lent (there were four children, so that sum comes right), it had been decided that fifty pounds in two-shilling pieces was the right wish to have. And the lucky children, who could have anything in the wide world by just wishing for it, hurriedly started for the gravel-pit to express their wishes to the Psammead. Martha caught them at the gate, [Pg 78]and insisted on their taking the Baby with them.
During the conversation where they borrowed the six ears (there were four kids, so that adds up), they decided that fifty pounds in two-shilling coins was the perfect wish to make. The lucky kids, who could have anything in the world just by wishing for it, quickly headed to the gravel pit to share their wishes with the Psammead. Martha stopped them at the gate, [Pg 78]and insisted they take the Baby with them.
"Not want him indeed! Why, everybody 'ud want him, a duck! with all their hearts they would; and you know you promised your ma to take him out every blessed day," said Martha.
"Not want him, really! Everyone would want him, for sure! With all their hearts they would; and you know you promised your mom to take him out every single day," said Martha.
"I know we did," said Robert in gloom, "but I wish the Lamb wasn't quite so young and small. It would be much better fun taking him out."
"I know we did," Robert said sadly, "but I wish the Lamb wasn't so young and small. It would be way more fun to take him out."
"He'll mend of his youngness with time," said Martha; "and as for smallness, I don't think you'd fancy carrying of him any more, however big he was. Besides he can walk a bit, bless his precious fat legs, a ducky! He feels the benefit of the new-laid air, so he does, a pet!"
"He'll grow out of his youth with time," said Martha; "and as for his size, I don't think you'd want to carry him any more, no matter how big he got. Besides, he can walk a little, bless his adorable chubby legs, cutie! He really feels the benefits of the fresh air, he does, sweetheart!"
With this and a kiss, she plumped the Lamb into Anthea's arms, and went back to make new pinafores on the sewing-machine. She was a rapid performer on this instrument.
With this and a kiss, she handed the Lamb to Anthea and went back to make new pinafores on the sewing machine. She was quick at using this machine.
The Lamb laughed with pleasure, and said, "Walky wif Panty," and rode on Robert's [Pg 79]back with yells of joy, and tried to feed Jane with stones, and altogether made himself so agreeable that nobody could long be sorry that he was of the party.
The Lamb laughed happily and said, "Walky with Panty," then rode on Robert's [Pg 79]back, shouting with joy, and tried to feed Jane with stones. Overall, he was so charming that nobody could stay upset about having him along.
The enthusiastic Jane even suggested that they should devote a week's wishes to assuring the Baby's future, by asking such gifts for him as the good fairies give to Infant Princes in proper fairy-tales, but Anthea soberly reminded her that as the Sand-fairy's wishes only lasted till sunset they could not ensure any benefit to the Baby's later years; and Jane owned that it would be better to wish for fifty pounds in two-shilling pieces, and buy the Lamb a three-pound fifteen rocking-horse, like those in the big stores, with a part of the money.
The excited Jane even suggested that they should spend a week making wishes to secure the Baby's future, by asking for the kinds of gifts that good fairies give to baby princes in classic fairy tales. But Anthea calmly reminded her that since the Sand-fairy's wishes only lasted until sunset, they couldn’t guarantee any real benefit for the Baby in the long run. Jane admitted it would be smarter to wish for fifty pounds in two-shilling coins and buy the Lamb a three-pound fifteen rocking horse, like the ones at the big department stores, with some of that money.
It was settled that, as soon as they had wished for the money and got it, they would get Mr. Crispin to drive them into Rochester again, taking Martha with them if they could not get out of taking her. And they would make a list of things they really wanted before they started. Full of high hopes and excellent [Pg 80]resolutions, they went round the safe slow cart-road to the gravel-pits, and as they went in between the mounds of gravel a sudden thought came to them, and would have turned their ruddy cheeks pale if they had been children in a book. Being real live children, it only made them stop and look at each other with rather blank and silly expressions. For now they remembered that yesterday, when they had asked the Psammead for boundless wealth, and it was getting ready to fill the quarry with the minted gold of bright guineas—millions of them—it had told the children to run along outside the quarry for fear they should be buried alive in the heavy splendid treasure. And they had run. And so it happened that they had not had time to mark the spot where the Psammead was, with a ring of stones, as before. And it was this thought that put such silly expressions on their faces.
They agreed that as soon as they wished for the money and got it, they would ask Mr. Crispin to drive them back to Rochester, taking Martha with them if they couldn’t avoid bringing her along. They also decided to make a list of things they truly wanted before setting off. Filled with high hopes and good intentions, they made their way along the safe, slow cart road to the gravel pits. As they passed between the mounds of gravel, a sudden realization hit them, which would have made their rosy cheeks go pale if they were characters in a story. Being real kids, it just made them stop and look at each other with blank, silly expressions. They remembered that yesterday, when they had asked the Psammead for endless wealth, and it was preparing to fill the quarry with minted gold coins—millions of them—it had told them to run outside the quarry for fear of being buried alive in the heavy, dazzling treasure. And they had run. So, they hadn’t had time to mark the spot where the Psammead was with a ring of stones like before. This thought was what caused those silly looks on their faces.
"Never mind," said the hopeful Jane, "we'll soon find him."
"Don't worry," said the optimistic Jane, "we'll find him soon."
But this, though easily said, was hard in the doing. They looked and they looked, and, [Pg 81]though they found their seaside spades, nowhere could they find the Sand-fairy.
But this, although it was easy to say, was difficult to do. They searched and searched, and, [Pg 81] even though they found their beach shovels, they couldn't find the Sand-fairy anywhere.
At last they had to sit down and rest—not at all because they were weary or disheartened, of course, but because the Lamb insisted on being put down, and you cannot look very carefully after anything you may have happened to lose in the sand if you have an active baby to look after at the same time. Get someone to drop your best knife in the sand next time you go to the seashore and then take your baby brother with you when you go to look for it, and you will see that I am right.
Finally, they had to sit down and take a break—not because they were tired or discouraged, of course, but because the Lamb insisted on being let down, and you can’t really search for something you might have lost in the sand if you’re also trying to keep an active baby in check. Next time you go to the beach, have someone drop your favorite knife in the sand and then take your baby brother with you to look for it, and you’ll see I’m right.
The Lamb, as Martha had said, was feeling the benefit of the country air, and he was as frisky as a sandhopper. The elder ones longed to go on talking about the new wishes they would have when (or if) they found the Psammead again. But the Lamb wished to enjoy himself.
The Lamb, just as Martha had said, was enjoying the fresh country air, and he was as lively as a sandhopper. The older kids were eager to keep discussing the new wishes they would make when (or if) they found the Psammead again. But the Lamb just wanted to have fun.
He watched his opportunity and threw a handful of sand into Anthea's face, and then suddenly burrowed his own head in the sand and waved his fat legs in the air. Then of [Pg 82]course the sand got into his eyes, as it had into Anthea's, and he howled.
He timed it just right and tossed a handful of sand at Anthea's face, then quickly buried his own head in the sand and kicked his chubby legs in the air. Then, of [Pg 82]course, the sand got in his eyes, just like it had for Anthea, and he started to cry.
The thoughtful Robert had brought one solid brown bottle of ginger-beer with him, relying on a thirst that had never yet failed him. This had to be uncorked hurriedly—it was the only wet thing within reach, and it was necessary to wash the sand out of the Lamb's eyes somehow. Of course the ginger hurt horribly, and he howled more than ever. And, amid his anguish of kicking, the bottle was upset and the beautiful ginger-beer frothed out into the sand and was lost for ever.
The considerate Robert had brought a sturdy brown bottle of ginger beer with him, counting on a thirst that had never let him down. It needed to be opened quickly—it was the only drink available, and it was essential to rinse the sand out of the Lamb's eyes somehow. Of course, the ginger stung terribly, and he cried out even more. In the midst of his kicking and writhing, the bottle tipped over and the delicious ginger beer spilled into the sand, gone forever.
It was then that Robert, usually a very patient brother, so far forgot himself as to say—
It was then that Robert, who was usually a very patient brother, completely lost his cool and said—
"Anybody would want him, indeed! Only they don't; Martha doesn't, not really, or she'd jolly well keep him with her. He's a little nuisance, that's what he is. It's too bad. I only wish everybody did want him with all their hearts; we might get some peace in our lives."[Pg 83]
"Anyone would want him, for sure! But they don't; Martha doesn't, not really, or she would definitely keep him with her. He's a bit of a nuisance, that's what he is. It's a shame. I just wish everyone really did want him; then we might finally get some peace in our lives."[Pg 83]
The Lamb stopped howling now, because Jane had suddenly remembered that there is only one safe way of taking things out of little children's eyes, and that is with your own soft wet tongue. It is quite easy if you love the Baby as much as you ought to do.
The Lamb stopped crying now because Jane suddenly remembered that there's only one safe way to remove things from little kids' eyes, and that's with your own soft, wet tongue. It's pretty easy if you love the Baby as much as you should.
Then there was a little silence. Robert was not proud of himself for having been so cross, and the others were not proud of him either. You often notice that sort of silence when someone has said something it ought not to—and everyone else holds its tongue and waits for the one who oughtn't to have said it is sorry.
Then there was a brief silence. Robert didn’t feel good about being so upset, and neither did the others feel good about him. You often notice that kind of silence when someone has said something they shouldn’t have—and everyone else keeps quiet and waits for the person who messed up to apologize.
The silence was broken by a sigh—a breath suddenly let out. The children's heads turned as if there had been a string tied to each nose, and somebody had pulled all the strings at once.
The silence was interrupted by a sigh—a breath released all at once. The children's heads turned as if there were strings attached to each nose, and someone had pulled all the strings simultaneously.
And everyone saw the Sand-fairy sitting quite close to them, with the expression which it used as a smile on its hairy face.
And everyone saw the Sand-fairy sitting pretty close to them, wearing what looked like a smile on its hairy face.
"Good-morning," it said; "I did that quite easily! Everyone wants him now."[Pg 84]
"Good morning," it said; "I did that really easily! Everyone wants him now."[Pg 84]
"It doesn't matter," said Robert sulkily, because he knew he had been behaving rather like a pig. "No matter who wants him—there's no one here to—anyhow."
"It doesn't matter," Robert said sulkily, knowing he had been acting like a jerk. "No one cares who wants him—there's no one here to—anyway."
"Ingratitude," said the Psammead, "is a dreadful vice."
"Ingratitude," said the Psammead, "is a terrible flaw."
"We're not ungrateful," Jane made haste to say, "but we didn't really want that wish. Robert only just said it. Can't you take it back and give us a new one?"
"We're not ungrateful," Jane quickly said, "but we didn't really want that wish. Robert just said it. Can't you take it back and give us a new one?"
"No—I can't," the Sand-fairy said shortly; "chopping and changing—it's not business. You ought to be careful what you do wish. There was a little boy once, he'd wished for a Plesiosaurus instead of an Ichthyosaurus, because he was too lazy to remember the easy names of everyday things, and his father had been very vexed with him, and had made him go to bed before tea-time, and wouldn't let him go out in the nice flint boat along with the other children,—it was the annual school-treat next day,—and he came and flung himself down near me on the morning of the treat, and he kicked his little prehistoric legs about and [Pg 85]said he wished he was dead. And of course then he was."
"No—I can't," the Sand-fairy said curtly; "changing your mind—it's not how things work. You need to be careful what you do wish for. There was a little boy once who wished for a Plesiosaurus instead of an Ichthyosaurus because he was too lazy to remember the simple names of everyday things. His dad was really upset with him and made him go to bed before dinner, and wouldn't let him join the other kids in the nice flint boat—it was the annual school treat the next day. He came and threw himself down next to me on the morning of the treat, kicking his little prehistoric legs and [Pg 85]saying he wished he was dead. And of course, then he was."
"How awful! said the children all together.
"That's terrible!" said the children all at once.
"Only till sunset, of course," the Psammead said; "still it was quite enough for his father and mother. And he caught it when he woke up—I tell you. He didn't turn to stone—I forget why—but there must have been some reason. They didn't know being dead is only being asleep, and you're bound to wake up somewhere or other, either where you go to sleep or in some better place. You may be sure he caught it, giving them such a turn. Why, he wasn't allowed to taste Megatherium for a month after that. Nothing but oysters and periwinkles, and common things like that."
"Only until sunset, of course," the Psammead said; "but it was more than enough for his parents. And he got it when he woke up—I promise you. He didn't turn to stone—I can't remember why—but there must have been a reason. They didn't realize that being dead is just like being asleep, and you're sure to wake up somewhere, either where you fall asleep or in a better place. You can bet he surprised them, giving them such a shock. Seriously, he wasn't allowed to have Megatherium for a month after that. It was nothing but oysters and periwinkles, and basic stuff like that."
All the children were quite crushed by this terrible tale. They looked at the Psammead in horror. Suddenly the Lamb perceived that something brown and furry was near him.
All the kids were pretty upset by this horrible story. They stared at the Psammead in shock. Suddenly, the Lamb noticed something brown and furry nearby.
"Poof, poof, poofy," he said, and made a grab.
"Poof, poof, poofy," he said, reaching out to grab.
"It's not a pussy," Anthea was beginning, when the Sand-fairy leaped back.[Pg 86]
"It's not a cat," Anthea was starting to say, when the Sand-fairy jumped back.[Pg 86]
"Oh, my left whisker!" it said; "don't let him touch me. He's wet."
"Oh, my left whisker!" it said; "don’t let him touch me. He’s wet."
Its fur stood on end with horror—and indeed a good deal of the ginger-beer had been spilt on the blue smock of the Lamb.
Its fur bristled in fear—and quite a bit of the ginger beer had splashed onto the blue smock of the Lamb.
The Psammead dug with its hands and feet, and vanished in an instant and a whirl of sand.
The Psammead dug with its hands and feet and disappeared in a flash, creating a swirl of sand.
The children marked the spot with a ring of stones.
The kids marked the spot with a circle of stones.
"We may as well get along home," said Robert. "I'll say I'm sorry; but anyway if it's no good it's no harm, and we know where the sandy thing is for to-morrow."
"We might as well head home," said Robert. "I’ll apologize; but either way, if it doesn’t help, it doesn’t hurt, and we know where that sandy spot is for tomorrow."
The others were noble. No one reproached Robert at all. Cyril picked up the Lamb, who was now quite himself again, and off they went by the safe cart-road.
The others were honorable. No one blamed Robert at all. Cyril picked up the Lamb, who was back to his usual self, and off they went along the safe cart-road.
The cart-road from the gravel-pits joins the road almost directly.
The dirt road from the gravel pits connects to the road almost directly.
At the gate into the road the party stopped to shift the Lamb from Cyril's back to Robert's. And as they paused a very smart open carriage came in sight, with a coachman and a groom on the box, and inside the carriage a [Pg 87]lady—very grand indeed, with a dress all white lace and red ribbons and a parasol all red and white—and a white fluffy dog on her lap with a red ribbon round its neck. She looked at the children, and particularly at the Baby, and she smiled at him. The children were used to this, for the Lamb was, as all the servants said, a "very taking child." So they waved their hands politely to the lady and expected her to drive on. But she did not. Instead she made the coachman stop. And she beckoned to Cyril, and when he went up to the carriage she said—
At the gate to the road, the group paused to move the Lamb from Cyril's back to Robert's. While they were stopped, an elegant open carriage appeared, with a coachman and a groom on the box, and inside, a [Pg 87]lady—very impressive, wearing a dress of all white lace and red ribbons, holding a red and white parasol—and a fluffy white dog on her lap with a red ribbon around its neck. She glanced at the children, especially at the Baby, and smiled at him. The children were used to this; the Lamb was, as all the staff said, a "very charming child." So they waved their hands politely at the lady, expecting her to drive on. But she didn’t. Instead, she told the coachman to stop. Then she signaled for Cyril to come over, and when he approached the carriage, she said—
"What a dear darling duck of a baby! Oh, I should so like to adopt it! Do you think its mother would mind?"
"What a sweet little duckling! Oh, I would really love to adopt it! Do you think its mother would be okay with that?"
"She'd mind very much indeed," said Anthea shortly.
"She would care a lot," Anthea said bluntly.
"Oh, but I should bring it up in luxury, you know. I am Lady Chittenden. You must have seen my photograph in the illustrated papers. They call me a Beauty, you know, but of course that's all nonsense. Anyway"—
"Oh, but I should present it in style, you know. I am Lady Chittenden. You must have seen my picture in the magazines. They refer to me as a Beauty, you know, but of course, that's just silly. Anyway"—
She opened the carriage door and jumped [Pg 88]out. She had the wonderfullest red high-heeled shoes with silver buckles. "Let me hold him a minute," she said. And she took the Lamb and held him very awkwardly, as if she was not used to babies.
She swung open the carriage door and hopped [Pg 88] out. She had the most amazing red high-heeled shoes with silver buckles. "Let me hold him for a minute," she said. Then she took the Lamb and held him somewhat clumsily, as if she wasn’t used to babies.
Then suddenly she jumped into the carriage with the Lamb in her arms and slammed the door, and said, "Drive on!"
Then suddenly she jumped into the carriage with the Lamb in her arms, slammed the door, and said, "Drive on!"
The Lamb roared, the little white dog barked, and the coachman hesitated.
The lamb roared, the little white dog barked, and the coachman hesitated.
"Drive on, I tell you!" cried the lady; and the coachman did, for, as he said afterwards, it was as much as his place was worth not to.
"Keep driving, I tell you!" shouted the lady; and the coachman did, because, as he mentioned later, it was risking his job not to.
The four children looked at each other, and then with one accord they rushed after the carriage and held on behind. Down the dusty road went the smart carriage, and after it, at double-quick time, ran the twinkling legs of the Lamb's brothers and sisters.
The four kids looked at each other, and then in unison, they rushed after the carriage and grabbed onto the back. Down the dusty road went the fancy carriage, with the Lamb's siblings running after it as fast as they could.
The Lamb howled louder and louder, but presently his howls changed by slow degrees to hiccupy gurgles, and then all was still, and they knew he had gone to sleep.
The Lamb howled louder and louder, but soon his howls gradually turned into hiccupy gurgles, and then everything was quiet, and they knew he had fallen asleep.
The carriage went on, and the eight feet that [Pg 89]twinkled through the dust were growing quite stiff and tired before the carriage stopped at the lodge of a grand park. The children crouched down behind the carriage, and the lady got out. She looked at the Baby as it lay on the carriage seat, and hesitated.
The carriage continued on, and the eight feet that [Pg 89]sparkled through the dust were becoming quite stiff and tired before the carriage finally stopped at the entrance of a grand park. The children crouched down behind the carriage, and the lady got out. She looked at the baby lying on the carriage seat and hesitated.
"The darling—I won't disturb it," she said, and went into the lodge to talk to the woman there about a setting of eggs that had not turned out well.
"The sweet thing—I won't bother it," she said, and went into the lodge to talk to the woman there about a batch of eggs that hadn't done well.
The coachman and footman sprang from the box and bent over the sleeping Lamb.
The driver and servant jumped down from the carriage and leaned over the sleeping Lamb.
"Fine boy—wish he was mine," said the coachman.
"Good-looking guy—wish he was mine," said the coachman.
"He wouldn't favour you much," said the groom sourly; "too 'andsome."
"He wouldn't like you very much," the groom said irritably; "too good-looking."
The coachman pretended not to hear. He said—
The driver acted as if he didn't hear. He said—
"Wonder at her now—I do really! Hates kids. Got none of her own, and can't abide other folkses'."
"Just look at her now—I really do! She hates kids. Doesn’t have any of her own and can’t stand other people's."
The children, crouched in the white dust under the carriage, exchanged uncomfortable glances.[Pg 90]
The kids, huddled in the white dust beneath the carriage, shared uneasy glances.[Pg 90]
"Tell you what," the coachman went on firmly, "blowed if I don't hide the little nipper in the hedge and tell her his brothers took 'im! Then I'll come back for him afterwards."
"Listen," the coachman continued firmly, "I swear I'll hide the little kid in the bushes and tell her his brothers took him! Then I'll come back for him later."
"No, you don't," said the footman. "I've took to that kid so as never was. If anyone's to have him, it's me—so there!"
"No, you don't," said the footman. "I've become really fond of that kid. If anyone's going to take him, it's going to be me—so there!"
"Stop your talk!" the coachman rejoined. "You don't want no kids, and, if you did, one kid's the same as another to you. But I'm a married man and a judge of breed. I knows a firstrate yearling when I sees him. I'm a-goin' to 'ave him, an' least said soonest mended."
"Quit talking!" the coachman shot back. "You don't want any kids, and if you did, one kid is just like another to you. But I'm a married man and I know my stuff. I can tell a top-quality young one when I see it. I'm going to have him, and the less said the better."
"I should 'a' thought," said the footman sneeringly, "you'd a'most enough. What with Alfred, an' Albert, an' Louise, an' Victor Stanley, and Helena Beatrice, and another"—
"I should've thought," said the footman with a sneer, "you'd almost have enough. What with Alfred, and Albert, and Louise, and Victor Stanley, and Helena Beatrice, and another"—
The coachman hit the footman in the chin—the footman hit the coachman in the waist-coat—the next minute the two were fighting here and there, in and out, up and down, and all over everywhere, and the little dog jumped [Pg 91]on the box of the carriage and began barking like mad.
The coachman punched the footman in the chin—the footman punched the coachman in the waistcoat—within a minute, the two were wrestling everywhere, back and forth, up and down, all over the place, and the little dog jumped [Pg 91] onto the carriage box and started barking like crazy.
Cyril, still crouching in the dust, waddled on bent legs to the side of the carriage farthest from the battlefield. He unfastened the door of the carriage—the two men were far too much occupied with their quarrel to notice anything—took the Lamb in his arms, and, still stooping, carried the sleeping baby a dozen yards along the road to where a stile led into a wood. The others followed, and there among the hazels and young oaks and sweet chestnuts, covered by high strong-scented brake-fern, they all lay hidden till the angry voices of the men were hushed at the angry voice of the red-and-white lady, and, after a long and anxious search, the carriage at last drove away.
Cyril, still crouched in the dirt, waddled on bent legs to the side of the carriage farthest from the battlefield. He opened the door of the carriage—the two men were way too caught up in their argument to notice anything—picked up the Lamb in his arms, and, still hunched over, carried the sleeping baby a dozen yards down the road to where a style led into a woods. The others followed, and there among the hazels, young oaks, and sweet chestnuts, hidden under tall, strongly-scented brake-fern, they all stayed concealed until the angry voices of the men were quieted by the furious voice of the red-and-white lady, and after a long, tense search, the carriage finally drove away.
"My only hat!" said Cyril, drawing a deep breath as the sound of wheels at last died away. "Everyone does want him now—and no mistake! That Sammyadd has done us again! Tricky brute! For any sake, let's get the kid safe home."[Pg 92]
"My only hat!" said Cyril, taking a deep breath as the sound of the wheels finally faded away. "Everyone really wants him now, that's for sure! That Sammyadd has pulled a fast one on us again! Sneaky jerk! For goodness' sake, let's get the kid home safe." [Pg 92]
So they peeped out, and finding on the right hand only lonely white road, and nothing but lonely white road on the left, they took courage, and the road, Anthea carrying the sleeping Lamb.
So they peeked out and saw that on the right there was only a lonely white road, and on the left was nothing but a lonely white road as well. They gathered their courage and took the road, with Anthea carrying the sleeping Lamb.
Adventures dogged their footsteps. A boy with a bundle of faggots on his back dropped his bundle by the roadside and asked to look at the Baby, and then offered to carry him; but Anthea was not to be caught that way twice. They all walked on, but the boy followed, and Cyril and Robert couldn't make him go away till they had more than once invited him to smell their fists. Afterwards a little girl in a blue-and-white checked pinafore actually followed them for a quarter of a mile crying for "the precious Baby," and then she was only got rid of by threats of tying her to a tree in the wood with all their pocket handkerchiefs. "So that bears can come and eat you as soon as it gets dark," said Cyril severely. Then she went off crying. It presently seemed wise, to the brothers and sisters of the Baby who was wanted by everyone, [Pg 93]to hide in the hedge whenever they saw anyone coming, and thus they managed to prevent the Lamb from arousing the inconvenient affection of a milkman, a stone-breaker, and a man who drove a cart with a paraffin barrel at the back of it. They were nearly home when the worst thing of all happened. Turning a corner suddenly they came upon two vans, a tent, and a company of gipsies encamped by the side of the road. The vans were hung all round with wicker chairs and cradles, and flower-stands and feather brushes. A lot of ragged children were industriously making dust-pies in the road, two men lay on the grass smoking, and three women were doing the family washing in an old red watering-can with the top broken off.
Adventures were right behind them. A boy carrying a bunch of sticks on his back dropped his load by the roadside and asked to see the Baby, offering to carry him; but Anthea wasn't going to fall for that again. They all walked on, but the boy followed them, and Cyril and Robert couldn't get rid of him until they invited him more than once to smell their fists. Later, a little girl in a blue-and-white checked pinafore actually followed them for a quarter of a mile, crying for "the precious Baby," and they only managed to shake her off by threatening to tie her to a tree in the woods with all their handkerchiefs. "So that bears can come and eat you as soon as it gets dark," Cyril said sternly. Then she ran off crying. It soon seemed wise to the brothers and sisters of the Baby, who was in demand by everyone, [Pg 93]to hide in the hedge whenever they spotted someone approaching, and this way they avoided letting the Lamb attract the unwanted attention of a milkman, a stone-breaker, and a man driving a cart with a paraffin barrel in the back. They were almost home when the worst thing happened. Turning a corner unexpectedly, they stumbled upon two vans, a tent, and a group of gypsies camped by the roadside. The vans were decorated with wicker chairs, cradles, flower stands, and feather dusters. A bunch of ragged children were busy making dust-pies in the road, two men were lounging on the grass smoking, and three women were doing laundry in an old red watering can with the top broken off.
In a moment every gipsy, men, women, and children, surrounded Anthea and the Baby.
In an instant, all the gypsies—men, women, and children—surrounded Anthea and the Baby.
"Let me hold him, little lady," said one of the gipsy women, who had a mahogany-coloured face and dust-coloured hair; "I won't hurt a hair of his head, the little picture!"[Pg 94]
"Let me hold him, sweetie," said one of the gypsy women, who had a deep brown face and dusty-colored hair; "I won’t hurt a hair on his head, the little darling!"[Pg 94]
"I'd rather not," said Anthea.
"I'd rather not," Anthea said.
"Let me have him," said the other woman, whose face was also of the hue of mahogany, and her hair jet-black, in greasy curls. "I've nineteen of my own, so I have"—
"Let me have him," said the other woman, whose face was also the color of mahogany, and her hair jet black, in greasy curls. "I have nineteen of my own, so I do."
"No," said Anthea bravely, but her heart beat so that it nearly choked her.
"No," Anthea said bravely, but her heart was beating so hard it nearly choked her.
Then one of the men pushed forward.
Then one of the guys stepped up.
"Swelp me if it ain't!" he cried, "my own long-lost cheild! Have he a strawberry mark on his left ear? No? Then he's my own babby, stolen from me in hinnocent hinfancy. 'And 'im over—and we'll not 'ave the law on yer this time."
"Help me if it isn't!" he shouted, "my own long-lost child! Does he have a strawberry mark on his left ear? No? Then he's my own baby, taken from me in innocent infancy. 'And him over—and we won't involve the law this time."
He snatched the Baby from Anthea, who turned scarlet and burst into tears of pure rage.
He grabbed the baby from Anthea, who turned bright red and started crying in a fit of anger.
The others were standing quite still; this was much the most terrible thing that had ever happened to them. Even being taken up by the police in Rochester was nothing to this. Cyril was quite white, and his hands trembled a little, but he made a sign to the others to shut up. He was silent a minute, thinking hard. Then he said—[Pg 95]
The others stood completely still; this was by far the worst thing that had ever happened to them. Even getting arrested by the police in Rochester was nothing compared to this. Cyril was pale, and his hands shook slightly, but he motioned for the others to be quiet. He was silent for a minute, deep in thought. Then he said—[Pg 95]
"We don't want to keep him if he's yours. But you see he's used to us. You shall have him if you want him"—
"We don't want to hold onto him if he belongs to you. But as you can see, he's gotten used to us. You can have him if you want."
"No, no!" cried Anthea,—and Cyril glared at her.
"No, no!" shouted Anthea, and Cyril glared at her.
"Of course we want him," said the women, trying to get the Baby out of the man's arms. The Lamb howled loudly.
"Of course we want him," said the women, trying to get the baby out of the man's arms. The lamb cried out loudly.
"Oh, he's hurt!" shrieked Anthea; and Cyril, in a savage undertone, bade her "stop it!"
"Oh, he's hurt!" screamed Anthea; and Cyril, in a fierce whisper, told her to "knock it off!"
"You trust to me," he whispered. "Look here," he went on, "he's awfully tiresome with people he doesn't know very well. Suppose we stay here a bit till he gets used to you, and then when it's bedtime I give you my word of honour we'll go away and let you keep him if you want to. And then when we're gone you can decide which of you is to have him, as you all want him so much."
"You can trust me," he whispered. "Look, he's really annoying with people he doesn't know well. How about we hang out here for a while until he gets comfortable with you? Then, when it's bedtime, I promise we'll leave and let you keep him if that's what you want. After we're gone, you can figure out who gets to have him since all of you want him so much."
"That's fair enough," said the man who was holding the Baby, trying to loosen the red neckerchief which the Lamb had caught hold of and drawn round his mahogany throat so [Pg 96]tight that he could hardly breathe. The gipsies whispered together, and Cyril took the chance to whisper too. He said, "Sunset! we'll get away then."
"That makes sense," said the man holding the baby, trying to loosen the red neckerchief that the lamb had grabbed and pulled tightly around his mahogany throat so [Pg 96]that he could barely breathe. The gypsies whispered among themselves, and Cyril seized the opportunity to whisper as well. He said, "Sunset! We’ll make our escape then."
And then his brothers and sisters were filled with wonder and admiration at his having been so clever as to remember this.
And then his siblings were filled with awe and admiration for how smart he was to remember this.
"Oh, do let him come to us!" said Jane. "See, we'll sit down here and take care of him for you till he gets used to you."
"Oh, let him come to us!" said Jane. "Look, we'll sit down here and take care of him for you until he gets used to you."
"What about dinner?" said Robert suddenly. The others looked at him with scorn. "Fancy bothering about your beastly dinner when your br—I mean when the Baby"—Jane whispered hotly. Robert carefully winked at her and went on—
"What about dinner?" Robert said suddenly. The others looked at him with disdain. "Really thinking about your disgusting dinner when your br—I mean when the Baby"—Jane whispered angrily. Robert gave her a careful wink and continued—
"You won't mind my just running home to get our dinner?" he said to the gipsy; "I can bring it out here in a basket."
"You don't mind if I just run home to grab our dinner?" he said to the gypsy. "I can bring it out here in a basket."
His brothers and sisters felt themselves very noble and despised him. They did not know his thoughtful secret intention. But the gipsies did in a minute.
His brothers and sisters felt very important and looked down on him. They were unaware of his deep, thoughtful plan. But the gypsies figured it out in no time.
"Oh yes!" they said; "and then fetch the [Pg 97]police with a pack of lies about it being your baby instead of ours! D'jever catch a weasel asleep?" they asked.
"Oh yes!" they said; "and then get the [Pg 97] police with a bunch of lies about it being your baby instead of ours! Did you ever catch a weasel sleeping?" they asked.
"If you're hungry you can pick a bit along of us," said the light-haired gipsy-woman, not unkindly. "Here Levi, that blessed kid'll howl all his buttons off. Give him to the little lady, and let's see if they can't get him used to us a bit."
"If you're hungry, you can grab a little something with us," said the light-haired gypsy woman, not unkindly. "Here, Levi, that sweet kid will cry his heart out. Hand him to the little lady, and let's see if they can get him to warm up to us a bit."
So the Lamb was handed back; but the gipsies crowded so closely that he could not possibly stop howling. Then the man with the red handkerchief said—
So the Lamb was given back; but the gypsies crowded in so tightly that he couldn't stop howling. Then the man with the red handkerchief said—
"Here, Pharaoh, make up the fire; and you girls see to the pot. Give the kid a chanst." So the gipsies, very much against their will, went off to their work, and the children and the Lamb were left sitting on the grass.
"Here, Pharaoh, light the fire; and you girls take care of the pot. Give the kid a break." So the gypsies, very reluctantly, went off to their tasks, leaving the children and the Lamb sitting on the grass.
"He'll be all right at sunset," Jane whispered. "But, oh, it is awful! Suppose they are frightfully angry when they come to their senses! They might beat us, or leave us tied to trees, or something."
"He'll be fine by sunset," Jane whispered. "But, oh, this is terrible! What if they're really angry when they come to their senses? They might hit us or leave us tied to trees or something."
"No, they won't," Anthea said ("Oh, my[Pg 98] Lamb, don't cry any more, it's all right, Panty's got oo, duckie"); "they aren't unkind people, or they wouldn't be going to give us any dinner."
"No, they won't," Anthea said ("Oh, my[Pg 98] Lamb, don't cry anymore, it's all right, Panty's got you, ducky"); "they aren't mean people, or they wouldn't be giving us any dinner."
"Dinner?" said Robert; "I won't touch their nasty dinner. It would choke me!"
"Dinner?" Robert said. "I wouldn’t eat their gross dinner. It would make me sick!"
The others thought so too then. But when the dinner was ready—it turned out to be supper, and happened between four and five—they were all glad enough to take what they could get. It was boiled rabbit, with onions, and some bird rather like a chicken, but stringier about its legs and with a stronger taste. The Lamb had bread soaked in hot water and brown sugar sprinkled on the top. He liked this very much, and consented to let the two gipsy women feed him with it, as he sat on Anthea's lap. All that long hot afternoon Robert and Cyril and Anthea and Jane had to keep the Lamb amused and happy, while the gipsies looked eagerly on. By the time the shadows grew long and black across the meadows he had really "taken to" the woman with the light hair, and even con[Pg 99]sented to kiss his hand to the children, and to stand up and bow, with his hand on his chest—"like a gentleman"—to the two men. The whole gipsy camp was in raptures with him, and his brothers and sisters could not help taking some pleasure in showing off his accomplishments to an audience so interested and enthusiastic. But they longed for sunset.
The others agreed with him then. But when dinner was ready—it turned out to be supper, served between four and five—they were all happy to take what they could get. It was boiled rabbit with onions and some bird that resembled chicken but had stringier legs and a stronger flavor. The Lamb had bread soaked in hot water with brown sugar sprinkled on top. He really liked this and allowed the two gypsy women to feed him while he sat on Anthea's lap. Throughout that long, hot afternoon, Robert, Cyril, Anthea, and Jane had to keep the Lamb entertained and happy while the gypsies watched eagerly. By the time the shadows grew long and dark across the meadows, he had really "taken to" the woman with the light hair and even agreed to kiss his hand to the children and stand up and bow, with his hand on his chest—"like a gentleman"—to the two men. The entire gypsy camp was thrilled with him, and his brothers and sisters couldn't help but enjoy showing off his talents to such an interested and enthusiastic audience. But they were eagerly waiting for sunset.
"We're getting into the habit of longing for sunset," Cyril whispered. "How I do wish we could wish something really sensible, that would be of some use, so that we should be quite sorry when sunset came."
"We're getting into the habit of wanting sunset," Cyril whispered. "I really wish we could wish for something practical, something that would matter, so that we'd actually be sad when sunset came."
The shadows got longer and longer, and at last there were no separate shadows any more, but one soft glowing shadow over everything; for the sun was out of sight—behind the hill—but he had not really set yet. The people who make the laws about lighting bicycle lamps are the people who decide when the sun sets; she has to do it too, to the minute, or they would know the reason why!
The shadows stretched out longer and longer, merging into one soft, glowing shadow that covered everything; the sun was hidden behind the hill but hadn’t actually set yet. The people who set the rules about when to turn on bicycle lights are the same ones who determine when the sun sets; she has to get it right, down to the minute, or they would figure it out!
But the gipsies were getting impatient.
But the gypsies were getting impatient.
"Now, young uns," the red-handkerchief [Pg 100]man said, "it's time you were laying of your heads on your pillowses—so it is! The kid's all right and friendly with us now—so you just hand him over and get home like you said."
"Okay, kids," the red-handkerchief [Pg 100]man said, "it's time for you to lay your heads down on your pillows—seriously! The kid's fine and hangs out with us now—so just give him to us and go home like you planned."
The women and children came crowding round the Lamb, arms were held out, fingers snapped invitingly, friendly faces beaming with admiring smiles; but all failed to tempt the loyal Lamb. He clung with arms and legs to Jane, who happened to be holding him, and uttered the gloomiest roar of the whole day.
The women and children gathered around the Lamb, reaching out their arms, snapping their fingers invitingly, and smiling with admiration; but none could persuade the loyal Lamb. He clung tightly to Jane, who was holding him, and let out the most sorrowful roar of the entire day.
"It's no good," the woman said, "hand the little poppet over, miss. We'll soon quiet him."
"It's not working," the woman said. "Just give me the little doll, miss. We'll calm him down in no time."
And still the sun would not set.
And still the sun wouldn't set.
"Tell her about how to put him to bed," whispered Cyril; "anything to gain time—and be ready to bolt when the sun really does make up its silly old mind to set."
"Tell her how to get him to bed," Cyril whispered; "anything to buy us some time—and be ready to run when the sun finally decides to set."
"Yes, I'll hand him over in just one minute," Anthea began, talking very fast,—"but do let me just tell you he has a warm bath every [Pg 101]night and cold in the morning, and he has a crockery rabbit to go into the warm bath with him, and little Samuel saying his prayers in white china on a red cushion for the cold bath; and he hates you to wash his ears, but you must; and if you let the soap get into his eyes, the Lamb"—
"Yes, I'll give him to you in just a minute," Anthea started, speaking really quickly,—"but let me just tell you he has a warm bath every [Pg 101]night and a cold one in the morning. He has a ceramic rabbit that goes into the warm bath with him and little Samuel saying his prayers in white china on a red cushion for the cold bath; and he absolutely hates having his ears washed, but you have to do it; and if soap gets in his eyes, the Lamb"—
"Lamb kyes," said he—he had stopped roaring to listen.
"Lamb keys," he said—he had stopped roaring to listen.
The woman laughed. "As if I hadn't never bath'd a babby!" she said. "Come—give us a hold of him. Come to 'Melia, my precious"—
The woman laughed. "As if I’ve never bathed a baby!" she said. "Come—let me hold him. Come to 'Melia, my darling."
"G'way, ugsie!" replied the Lamb at once.
"G'way, ugsie!" replied the Lamb immediately.
"Yes, but," Anthea went on, "about his meals; you really must let me tell you he has an apple or banana every morning, and bread and milk for breakfast, and an egg for his tea sometimes, and"—
"Yes, but," Anthea continued, "when it comes to his meals, you really have to let me tell you he has an apple or banana every morning, and bread and milk for breakfast, and sometimes an egg for his tea, and"—
"I've brought up ten," said the black ringleted woman, "besides the others. Come, miss, 'and 'im over—I can't bear it no longer. I just must give him a hug."[Pg 102]
"I've brought up ten," said the woman with black curls, "besides the others. Come on, miss, bring him over—I can't take it anymore. I just have to give him a hug."[Pg 102]
"We ain't settled yet whose he's to be, Esther," said one of the men.
"We haven't decided yet whose he will be, Esther," said one of the men.
"It won't be you, Esther, with seven of 'em at your tail a'ready."
"It won't be you, Esther, with seven of them already tailing you."
"I ain't so sure of that," said Esther's husband.
"I’m not so sure about that," said Esther's husband.
"And ain't I nobody, to have a say neither?" said the husband of 'Melia.
"And am I nobody, to not have a say either?" said 'Melia's husband.
Zillah, the girl, said, "An' me? I'm a single girl—and no one but 'im to look after—I ought to have him."
Zillah, the girl, said, "And what about me? I'm a single girl—and there's no one but him to look after—I should have him."
"Hold your tongue!"
"Be quiet!"
"Shut your mouth!"
"Be quiet!"
"Don't you show me no more of your imperence!"
"Don't show me any more of your rudeness!"
Everyone was getting very angry. The dark gipsy faces were frowning and anxious-looking. Suddenly a change swept over them, as if some invisible sponge had wiped away these cross and anxious expressions, and left only a blank.
Everyone was getting really angry. The dark gypsy faces were frowning and looking worried. Suddenly, a change came over them, as if some invisible sponge had wiped away their angry and anxious expressions, leaving just a blank look.
The children saw that the sun really had set. But they were afraid to move. And the gipsies were feeling so muddled because of the [Pg 103]invisible sponge that had washed all the feelings of the last few hours out of their hearts, that they could not say a word.
The children saw that the sun had actually set. But they were too scared to move. And the gypsies felt so confused because of the [Pg 103]invisible sponge that had wiped away all the feelings from the last few hours, that they couldn't say a word.
The children hardly dared to breathe. Suppose the gipsies, when they recovered speech, should be furious to think how silly they had been all day?
The children hardly dared to breathe. What if the gypsies, once they found their voice again, were angry at how foolish they'd been all day?
It was an awkward moment. Suddenly Anthea, greatly daring, held out the Lamb to the red-handkerchief man.
It was an uncomfortable moment. Suddenly, Anthea, feeling bold, held out the Lamb to the man with the red handkerchief.
"Here he is!" she said.
"Here he is!" she said.
The man drew back. "I shouldn't like to deprive you, miss," he said hoarsely.
The man stepped back. "I wouldn’t want to take anything from you, miss," he said hoarsely.
"Anyone who likes can have my share of him," said the other man.
"Anyone who wants can have my share of him," said the other man.
"After all, I've got enough of my own," said Esther.
"After all, I have plenty of my own," said Esther.
"He's a nice little chap, though," said Amelia. She was the only one who now looked affectionately at the whimpering Lamb.
"He's a sweet little guy, though," said Amelia. She was the only one who now looked at the whimpering Lamb with affection.
Zillah said, "If I don't think I must have had a touch of the sun. I don't want him."[Pg 104]
Zillah said, "If I don't think I must have had a heat stroke. I don't want him."[Pg 104]
"Then shall we take him away?" said Anthea.
"Should we take him away then?" asked Anthea.
"Well—suppose you do," said Pharaoh heartily, "and we'll say no more about it!"
"Well—let's say you do," Pharaoh replied warmly, "and we won't mention it again!"
And with great haste all the gipsies began to be busy about their tents for the night. All but Amelia. She went with the children as far as the bend in the road—and there she said—
And quickly, all the gypsies got busy setting up their tents for the night. Everyone except Amelia. She walked with the children to the bend in the road—and there she said—
"Let me give him a kiss, miss,—I don't know what made us go for to behave so silly. Us gipsies don't steal babies, whatever they may tell you when you're naughty. We've enough of our own, mostly. But I've lost all mine."
"Let me give him a kiss, miss—I don’t know why we acted so silly. We gypsies don’t steal babies, no matter what they say when you’re being bad. We have plenty of our own, mostly. But I’ve lost all mine."
She leaned towards the Lamb; and he, looking in her eyes, unexpectedly put up a grubby soft paw and stroked her face.
She leaned toward the Lamb; and he, looking into her eyes, unexpectedly raised a dirty soft paw and stroked her face.
"Poor, poor!" said the Lamb. And he let the gipsy woman kiss him, and, what is more, he kissed her brown cheek in return—a very nice kiss, as all his kisses are, and not a wet one like some babies give. The gipsy woman moved her finger about on his forehead as if she had been writing something there, and the [Pg 105]same with his chest and his hands and his feet; then she said—
"Poor, poor!" said the Lamb. And he let the gypsy woman kiss him, and, what’s more, he kissed her brown cheek back—a very nice kiss, as all his kisses are, and not a wet one like some babies give. The gypsy woman moved her finger around on his forehead as if she was writing something there, and the [Pg 105] same with his chest and his hands and his feet; then she said—
"May he be brave, and have the strong head to think with, and the strong heart to love with, and the strong arms to work with, and the strong feet to travel with, and always come safe home to his own." Then she said something in a strange language no one could understand, and suddenly added—
"May he be courageous, have a sharp mind to think with, a big heart to love with, strong arms to work with, and sturdy feet to travel with, and always return home safely." Then she spoke something in a strange language that no one could understand, and suddenly added—
"Well, I must be saying 'so long'—and glad to have made your acquaintance." And she turned and went back to her home—the tent by the grassy roadside.
"Well, I guess I should say 'goodbye'—and I'm happy to have met you." And she turned and walked back to her home—the tent by the grassy roadside.
The children looked after her till she was out of sight. Then Robert said, "How silly of her! Even sunset didn't put her right. What rot she talked!"
The kids watched her until she was out of sight. Then Robert said, "How silly of her! Not even sunset could convince her. What nonsense she talked!"
"Well," said Cyril, "if you ask me, I think it was rather decent of her"—
"Well," Cyril said, "if you ask me, I think it was pretty decent of her."
"Decent?" said Anthea; "it was very nice indeed of her. I think she's a dear"—
"Nice?" said Anthea; "it was really sweet of her. I think she's great"—
"She's just too frightfully nice for anything," said Jane.
"She's just way too nice for anything," said Jane.
And they went home—very late for tea and [Pg 106]unspeakably late for dinner. Martha scolded, of course. But the Lamb was safe.
And they went home—very late for tea and [Pg 106]incredibly late for dinner. Martha scolded, of course. But the Lamb was safe.
"I say—it turned out we wanted the Lamb as much as anyone," said Robert, later.
"I mean, it turned out we wanted the Lamb as much as anyone," Robert said later.
"Of course."
"Definitely."
"But do you feel different about it now the sun's set?"
"But do you feel differently about it now that the sun has set?"
"No," said all the others together.
"No," everyone else said at the same time.
"Then it's lasted over sunset with us."
"Then it lasted over sunset with us."
"No, it hasn't," Cyril explained. "The wish didn't do anything to us. We always wanted him with all our hearts when we were our proper selves, only we were all pigs this morning; especially you, Robert." Robert bore this much with a strange calm.
"No, it hasn't," Cyril explained. "The wish didn't affect us. We always wanted him with all our hearts when we were being ourselves, but we were all pigs this morning; especially you, Robert." Robert took this in with a strange calm.
"I certainly thought I didn't want him this morning," said he. "Perhaps I was a pig. But everything looked so different when we thought we were going to lose him."
"I definitely thought I didn't want him this morning," he said. "Maybe I was being selfish. But everything felt so different when we thought we were going to lose him."
And that, my dear children, is the moral of this chapter. I did not mean it to have a moral, but morals are nasty forward beings, and will keep putting in their oars where they are not wanted. And since the moral has [Pg 107]crept in, quite against my wishes, you might as well think of it next time you feel piggy yourself and want to get rid of any of your brothers and sisters. I hope this doesn't often happen, but I daresay it has happened sometimes, even to you![Pg 108]
And that, my dear kids, is the lesson of this chapter. I didn't intend for it to have a lesson, but lessons are annoyingly persistent and always seem to intrude where they're not wanted. Since the lesson has [Pg 107]snuck in, against my wishes, you might as well keep it in mind the next time you feel selfish and want to get rid of any of your siblings. I hope this doesn't happen very often, but I bet it's happened at least a few times, even to you![Pg 108]
CHAPTER IV
WINGS
The next day was very wet—too wet to go out, and far too wet to think of disturbing a Sand-fairy so sensitive to water that he still, after thousands of years, felt the pain of once having his left whisker wetted. It was a long day, and it was not till the afternoon that all the children suddenly decided to write letters to their mother. It was Robert who had the misfortune to upset the ink well—an unusually deep and full one—straight into that part of Anthea's desk where she had long pretended that an arrangement of mucilage and cardboard painted with Indian ink was a secret drawer. It was not exactly Robert's fault; it was only his misfortune that he chanced to be lifting the ink across the desk just at the moment when Anthea had got it open, and that that same moment should have been the one chosen by the[Pg 109] Lamb to get under the table and break his squeaking bird. There was a sharp convenient wire inside the bird, and of course the Lamb ran the wire into Robert's leg at once; and so, without anyone's meaning to do it the secret drawer was flooded with ink. At the same time a stream was poured over Anthea's half-finished letter.
The next day was really wet—too wet to go outside, and way too wet to think about bothering a Sand-fairy who was so sensitive to water that he still felt the sting of having his left whisker wet after thousands of years. It turned into a long day, and it wasn't until the afternoon that all the kids suddenly decided to write letters to their mom. It was Robert who accidentally knocked over the ink well—an unusually deep and full one—right into the part of Anthea's desk where she had long pretended that a setup of mucilage and cardboard painted with Indian ink was a secret drawer. It wasn’t entirely Robert’s fault; it was just unfortunate that he happened to be lifting the ink across the desk right when Anthea opened it, and that same moment was when the Lamb decided to get under the table and break his squeaking bird. There was a sharp wire inside the bird, and of course, the Lamb poked the wire into Robert's leg right away; and so, without anyone meaning to, the secret drawer was flooded with ink. At the same time, a stream of ink spilled over Anthea’s half-finished letter.
So that her letter was something like this—
So her letter was something like this—
"Darling Mother,—I hope you are quite well, and I hope Granny is better. The other day we...."
"Dear Mom,—I hope you’re doing well, and I hope Granny is feeling better. The other day we...."
Then came a flood of ink, and at the bottom these words in pencil—
Then came a rush of ink, and at the bottom were these words in pencil—
"It was not me upset the ink, but it took such a time clearing up, so no more as it is post-time.—From your loving daughter "Anthea."
"It wasn't me who messed up the ink, but it took so long to clean up that I couldn't do anything else in the meantime.—From your loving daughter "Anthea."
Robert's letter had not even been begun. He had been drawing a ship on the blotting paper while he was trying to think of what to say. And of course after the ink was upset he had to help Anthea to clean out her desk, and he promised to make her another secret drawer, [Pg 110]better than the other. And she said, "Well, make it now." So it was post-time and his letter wasn't done. And the secret drawer wasn't done either.
Robert hadn't even started his letter. He had been sketching a ship on the blotting paper while trying to figure out what to write. And, of course, after the ink spilled, he had to help Anthea clean out her desk, and he promised to build her another secret drawer, [Pg 110]better than the last one. She said, "Well, make it now." So it was time to post the letter, and neither his letter nor the secret drawer was finished.
Cyril wrote a long letter, very fast, and then went to set a trap for slugs that he had read about in the Home-made Gardener, and when it was post-time the letter could not be found, and it was never found. Perhaps the slugs ate it.
Cyril quickly wrote a long letter and then went to set a trap for slugs that he had read about in the Home-made Gardener. When it was time to mail the letter, it couldn't be found, and it was never found. Maybe the slugs ate it.
Jane's letter was the only one that went. She meant to tell her mother all about the Psammead,—in fact they had all meant to do this,—but she spent so long thinking how to spell the word that there was no time to tell the story properly, and it is useless to tell a story unless you do tell it properly, so she had to be contented with this—
Jane's letter was the only one that got sent. She intended to tell her mom all about the Psammead—in fact, they all planned to do this—but she spent so much time trying to figure out how to spell the word that there wasn't enough time to tell the story properly, and it’s pointless to tell a story unless you really do it well, so she had to settle for this—
"My dear Mother Dear,—We are all as good as we can, like you told us to, and the Lamb has a little cold, but Martha says it is nothing, only he upset the gold-fish into himself yesterday morning. When we were up at the sand-pit the other day we went round by the safe way where carts go, and we found a"—
"My dear Mom,—We're all doing the best we can, just like you told us to, and the Lamb has a bit of a cold, but Martha says it's nothing, just that he tipped over the goldfish into himself yesterday morning. The other day when we were at the sand-pit, we took the safe route where the carts go, and we found a"—
Half an hour went by before Jane felt quite sure that they could none of them spell Psammead. And they could not find it in the dictionary either, though they looked. Then Jane hastily finished her letter—
Half an hour passed before Jane was certain that none of them could spell Psammead. They also couldn’t find it in the dictionary, even after searching. Then Jane hastily finished her letter—
"We found a strange thing, but it is nearly post-time, so no more at present from your little girl,
"We found something weird, but it's almost time to post, so that's all for now from your little girl,"
"P.S.—If you could have a wish come true what would you have?"
"P.S.—If you could make one wish come true, what would it be?"
Then the postman was heard blowing his horn, and Robert rushed out in the rain to stop his cart and give him the letters. And that was how it happened that, though all the children meant to tell their mother about the Sand-fairy, somehow or other she never got to know. There were other reasons why she never got to know, but these come later.
Then the postman was heard blowing his horn, and Robert rushed out into the rain to stop his cart and give him the letters. And that's how it happened that, even though all the kids intended to tell their mom about the Sand-fairy, somehow she never found out. There were other reasons why she never found out, but those are for later.
The next day Uncle Richard came and took them all to Maidstone in a wagonette—all except the Lamb. Uncle Richard was the very best kind of uncle. He bought them toys at Maidstone. He took them into a shop and let them all choose exactly what they wanted, [Pg 112]without any restrictions about price, and no nonsense about things being instructive. It is very wise to let children choose exactly what they like, because they are very foolish and inexperienced, and sometimes they will choose a really instructive thing without meaning to do so. This happened to Robert, who chose, at the last moment, and in a great hurry, a box with pictures on it of winged bulls with men's heads and winged men with eagles' heads. He thought there would be animals inside, the same as on the box. When he got it home it was a Sunday puzzle about ancient Nineveh! The others chose in haste, and were happy at leisure. Cyril had a model engine, and the girls had two dolls, as well as a china tea-set with forget-me-nots on it, to be "between them." The boys' "between them" was bow and arrow.
The next day, Uncle Richard came and took everyone to Maidstone in a wagonette—all except the Lamb. Uncle Richard was the best kind of uncle. He bought them toys in Maidstone. He took them into a shop and let them all pick exactly what they wanted, [Pg 112]without any limits on price, and no nonsense about things needing to be educational. It’s really smart to let kids choose exactly what they like because they can be naive and inexperienced, and sometimes they end up picking something genuinely educational without realizing it. That happened to Robert, who, at the last minute and in a big rush, chose a box covered in pictures of winged bulls with human heads and winged men with eagle heads. He thought there would be animals inside, just like on the box. When he got it home, it turned out to be a Sunday puzzle about ancient Nineveh! The others picked quickly and were happy to take their time enjoying their choices later. Cyril got a model engine, and the girls picked out two dolls along with a china tea set decorated with forget-me-nots to share. The boys had a bow and arrow to share.
Then Uncle Richard took them on the beautiful Medway in a boat, and then they all had tea at a beautiful confectioner's and when they reached home it was far too late to have any wishes that day.[Pg 113]
Then Uncle Richard took them on a lovely boat ride on the Medway, and afterward, they all had tea at a charming café. By the time they got home, it was way too late to make any wishes for the day.[Pg 113]
They did not tell Uncle Richard anything about the Psammead. I do not know why. And they do not know why. But I daresay you can guess.
They didn't tell Uncle Richard anything about the Psammead. I don't know why. And they don't know why. But I bet you can guess.
The day after Uncle Richard had behaved so handsomely was a very hot day indeed. The people who decide what the weather is to be, and put its orders down for it in the newspapers every morning, said afterwards that it was the hottest day there had been for years. They had ordered it to be "warmer—some showers," and warmer it certainly was. In fact it was so busy being warmer that it had no time to attend to the order about showers, so there weren't any.
The day after Uncle Richard had acted so generously was extremely hot. The people who predict the weather and report it in the newspapers every morning later said it was the hottest day in years. They had forecasted it to be "warmer—some showers," and warmer it definitely was. In fact, it was so focused on being warmer that it didn't have time to follow up on the shower request, so there were none.
Have you ever been up at five o'clock on a fine summer morning? It is very beautiful. The sunlight is pinky and yellowy, and all the grass and trees are covered with dew-diamonds. And all the shadows go the opposite way to the way they do in the evening, which is very interesting and makes you feel as though you were in a new other world.
Have you ever been up at five o'clock on a beautiful summer morning? It's really stunning. The sunlight has a pink and yellow hue, and all the grass and trees sparkle with dew. The shadows stretch in the opposite direction compared to the evening, which is really fascinating and makes you feel like you're in a completely different world.
Anthea woke at five. She had made herself [Pg 114]wake, and I must tell you how it is done, even if it keeps you waiting for the story to go on.
Anthea woke up at five. She had set an alarm to wake herself, and I should explain how it's done, even if it means you have to wait for the story to continue.
You get into bed at night, and lie down quite flat on your little back, with your hands straight down by your sides. Then you say "I must wake up at five" (or six, or seven, or eight, or nine, or whatever the time is that you want), and as you say it you push your chin down on your chest and then whack your head back on the pillow. And you do this as many times as there are ones in the time you want to wake up at. (It is quite an easy sum.) Of course everything depends on your really wanting to get up at five (or six, or seven, or eight, or nine); if you don't really want to, it's all of no use. But if you do—well, try it and see. Of course in this, as in doing Latin proses or getting into mischief, practice makes perfect.
You get into bed at night and lie flat on your back with your arms straight down by your sides. Then you say, "I have to wake up at five" (or six, or seven, or eight, or nine, or whatever time you need), and as you do, you tuck your chin to your chest and then bang your head back on the pillow. You do this as many times as the number of hours until the time you want to wake up. (It's a pretty simple calculation.) Of course, it all depends on how much you actually want to get up at five (or six, or seven, or eight, or nine); if you don't truly want to, it's pointless. But if you do—well, give it a shot and see. Definitely, like mastering Latin prose or getting into trouble, practice makes perfect.
Anthea was quite perfect.
Anthea was really perfect.
At the very moment when she opened her eyes she heard the black-and-gold clock down in the dining-room strike eleven. So she knew it was three minutes to five. The black-and-[Pg 115]gold clock always struck wrong, but it was all right when you knew what it meant. It was like a person talking a foreign language. If you know the language it is just as easy to understand as English. And Anthea knew the clock language. She was very sleepy, but she jumped out of bed and put her face and hands into a basin of cold water. This is a fairy charm that prevents your wanting to get back into bed again. Then she dressed, and folded up her night dress. She did not tumble it together by the sleeves, but folded it by the seams from the hem, and that will show you the kind of well-brought-up little girl she was.
As soon as she opened her eyes, she heard the black-and-gold clock in the dining room strike eleven. So, she knew it was three minutes to five. The black-and-gold clock was always out of sync, but it was fine as long as you understood what it meant. It was like someone speaking a foreign language. If you know the language, it’s just as easy to understand as English. And Anthea understood clock language. She was really sleepy, but she jumped out of bed and splashed her face and hands in a basin of cold water. This is a fairy charm that keeps you from wanting to climb back into bed. Then she got dressed and neatly folded her nightgown. She didn’t just scrunch it together by the sleeves; she folded it by the seams from the hem, which shows what a well-mannered little girl she was.
Then she took her shoes in her hand and crept softly down the stairs. She opened the dining-room window and climbed out. It would have been just as easy to go out by the door, but the window was more romantic, and less likely to be noticed by Martha.
Then she picked up her shoes and quietly made her way down the stairs. She opened the dining-room window and climbed out. It would have been just as easy to leave by the door, but the window felt more magical and was less likely to attract Martha's attention.
"I will always get up at five," she said to herself. "It was quite too awfully pretty for anything."
"I will always wake up at five," she said to herself. "It was just way too beautiful for anything."
Her heart was beating very fast, for she was [Pg 116]carrying out a plan quite her own. She could not be sure that it was a good plan, but she was quite sure that it would not be any better if she were to tell the others about it. And she had a feeling that, right or wrong, she would rather go through with it alone. She put on her shoes under the iron verandah, on the red-and-yellow shining tiles, and then she ran straight to the sand-pit, and found the Psammead's place, and dug it out; it was very cross indeed.
Her heart was racing because she was [Pg 116]executing a plan that was entirely her own. She couldn't be certain if it was a good plan, but she was pretty sure it wouldn't improve if she shared it with the others. And she had a sense that, right or wrong, she preferred to go through it by herself. She put on her shoes under the iron porch, on the shiny red-and-yellow tiles, and then she sprinted straight to the sand-pit, found the Psammead's spot, and dug it out; it was really quite grumpy.
"It's too bad," it said, fluffing up its fur as pigeons do their feathers at Christmas time. "The weather's arctic, and it's the middle of the night."
"It's a shame," it said, fluffing up its fur like pigeons do their feathers around Christmas. "The weather's freezing, and it's the middle of the night."
"I'm so sorry," said Anthea gently, and she took off her white pinafore and covered the Sand-fairy up with it, all but its head, its bat's ears, and its eyes that were like a snail's eyes.
"I'm so sorry," Anthea said softly, and she removed her white pinafore and draped it over the Sand-fairy, leaving just its head, bat-like ears, and snail-like eyes exposed.
"Thank you," it said, "that's better. What's the wish this morning?"
"Thanks," it said, "that's much better. What do you wish for this morning?"
"I don't know," she said; "that's just it. You see we've been very unlucky, so far. I wanted to talk to you about it. But—would [Pg 117]you mind not giving me any wishes till after breakfast? It's so hard to talk to anyone if they jump out at you with wishes you don't really want!"
"I don't know," she said; "that's the thing. We've been really unlucky so far. I wanted to talk to you about it. But—would [Pg 117] you mind not giving me any wishes until after breakfast? It's really hard to talk to anyone when they surprise you with wishes you don’t actually want!"
"You shouldn't say you wish for things if you don't wish for them. In the old days people almost always knew whether it was Megatherium or Ichthyosaurus they really wanted for dinner."
"You shouldn't claim you want things if you don’t actually want them. Back in the day, people pretty much always knew whether they really wanted Megatherium or Ichthyosaurus for dinner."
"I'll try not to do so," said Anthea, "but I do wish"—
"I'll try not to," Anthea said, "but I really wish"—
"Look out!" said the Psammead in a warning voice, and it began to blow itself out.
"Watch out!" said the Psammead in a warning tone, and it started to puff itself up.
"Oh, this isn't a magic wish—it's just—I should be so glad if you'd not swell yourself out and nearly burst to give me anything just now. Wait till the others are here."
"Oh, this isn't a magical wish—it's just—I would be really happy if you didn't make such a big deal and nearly explode to give me anything right now. Just wait until the others are here."
"Well, well," it said indulgently, but it shivered.
"Well, well," it said with a hint of patience, but it shivered.
"Would you," asked Anthea kindly—"would you like to come and sit on my lap? You'd be warmer, and I could turn the skirt of my frock up around you. I'd be very careful."[Pg 118]
"Would you," Anthea asked kindly, "like to come and sit on my lap? You’d be warmer, and I could wrap the skirt of my dress around you. I’d be very careful."[Pg 118]
Anthea had never expected that it would, but it did.
Anthea never thought it would, but it did.
"Thank you," it said; "you really are rather thoughtful." It crept on to her lap and snuggled down, and she put her arms round it with a rather frightened gentleness. "Now then!" it said.
"Thanks," it said; "you’re really quite considerate." It crawled onto her lap and settled in, and she wrapped her arms around it with a sort of scared gentleness. "Alright then!" it said.
"Well then," said Anthea, "everything we have wished has turned out rather horrid. I wish you would advise us. You are so old, you must be very wise."
"Well then," said Anthea, "everything we've wished for has turned out pretty terrible. I wish you would help us. You're so old, you must be really wise."
"I was always generous from a child," said the Sand-fairy. "I've spent the whole of my waking hours in giving. But one thing I won't give—that's advice."
"I've always been generous since I was a kid," said the Sand-fairy. "I've spent all my waking hours giving. But there's one thing I won't give—that's advice."
"You see," Anthea went on, "it's such a wonderful thing—such a splendid, glorious chance. It's so good and kind and dear of you to give us our wishes, and it seems such a pity it should all be wasted just because we are too silly to know what to wish for."
"You see," Anthea continued, "it's such an amazing thing—such a fantastic, incredible opportunity. It's so generous and kind of you to grant us our wishes, and it feels like such a shame it should all go to waste just because we're too foolish to know what to wish for."
Anthea had meant to say that—and she had not wanted to say it before the others. It's [Pg 119]one thing to say you're silly, and quite another to say that other people are.
Anthea had intended to say that—and she hadn’t wanted to say it in front of the others. It's [Pg 119]one thing to call yourself silly, and a whole different thing to say other people are.
"Child," said the Sand-fairy sleepily, "I can only advise you to think before you speak"—
"Kid," the Sand-fairy said sleepily, "I can only suggest you think before you talk."
"But I thought you never gave advice."
"But I thought you never gave advice."
"That piece doesn't count," it said. "You'll never take it! Besides, it's not original. It's in all the copy-books."
"That piece doesn't count," it said. "You'll never get it! Besides, it's not original. It's in all the workbooks."
"But won't you just say if you think wings would be a silly wish?"
"But will you just tell me if you think wanting wings is a silly wish?"
"Wings?" it said. "I should think you might do worse. Only, take care you aren't flying high at sunset. There was a little Ninevite boy I heard of once. He was one of King Sennacherib's sons, and a traveller brought him a Psammead. He used to keep it in a box of sand on the palace terrace. It was a dreadful degradation for one of us, of course; still the boy was the Assyrian King's son. And one day he wished for wings and got them. But he forgot that they would turn into stone at sunset, and when they did he fell on to one of the winged lions at the top of his father's great staircase; and what with his[Pg 120] stone wings and the lion's stone wings—well it's not a very pretty story! But I believe the boy enjoyed himself very much till then."
"Wings?" it said. "I think you could do worse. Just make sure you’re not flying high at sunset. I once heard about a little boy from Nineveh. He was one of King Sennacherib's sons, and a traveler brought him a Psammead. He kept it in a sand box on the palace terrace. It was a pretty big fall for someone like him, but he was the Assyrian King's son. One day, he wished for wings and got them. But he forgot they would turn to stone at sunset, and when that happened, he fell onto one of the winged lions at the top of his father's grand staircase. With his[Pg 120] stone wings and the lion's stone wings—well, it's not a very nice story! But I believe he had a great time until then."
"Tell me," said Anthea, "why don't our wishes turn into stone now? Why do they just vanish?"
"Tell me," said Anthea, "why don’t our wishes turn into stone anymore? Why do they just disappear?"
"Autre temps autres mœurs," said the creature.
"Different times, different customs," said the creature.
"Is that the Ninevite language?" asked Anthea, who had learned no foreign language at school except French.
"Is that the Ninevite language?" asked Anthea, who hadn't learned any foreign languages in school except for French.
"What I mean is," the Psammead went on, "that in the old days people wished for good solid everyday gifts,—Mammoths and Pterodactyls and things,—and those could be turned into stone as easy as not. But people wish such high-flying fanciful things nowadays. How are you going to turn being beautiful as the day, or being wanted by everybody, into stone? You see it can't be done. And it would never do to have two rules, so they simply vanish. If being beautiful as the day could be turned into stone it would last an awfully long time, you know—much longer [Pg 121]than you would. Just look at the Greek statues. It's just as well as it is. Good-bye. I am so sleepy."
"What I mean is," the Psammead continued, "that in the past people wished for practical, everyday gifts—Mammoths and Pterodactyls and stuff—and those could easily be turned into stone. But nowadays, people wish for such lofty, fanciful things. How are you going to turn being as beautiful as a sunny day, or being wanted by everyone, into stone? You see, it can't be done. And it wouldn't make sense to have two different rules, so they just disappear. If being as beautiful as a sunny day could be turned into stone, it would last a really long time, you know—much longer [Pg 121]than you would. Just look at the Greek statues. It's just as well as it is. Goodbye. I am so sleepy."
It jumped off her lap—dug frantically, and vanished.
It jumped off her lap, scrambled around wildly, and disappeared.
Anthea was late for breakfast. It was Robert who quietly poured a spoonful of molasses down the Lamb's frock, so that he had to be taken away and washed thoroughly directly after breakfast. And it was of course a very naughty thing to do; yet it served two purposes—it delighted the Lamb, who loved above all things to be completely sticky, and it engaged Martha's attention so that the others could slip away to the sand-pit without the Lamb.
Anthea was late for breakfast. Robert quietly poured a spoonful of molasses down the Lamb's dress, which meant he had to be taken away and cleaned up right after breakfast. It was definitely a naughty thing to do, but it served two purposes—it made the Lamb happy, as he loved being completely sticky, and it distracted Martha so the others could sneak off to the sandpit without the Lamb.
They did it, and in the lane Anthea, breathless from the hurry of that slipping, panted out—
They did it, and in the lane, Anthea, out of breath from the rush of that slip, gasped out—
"I want to propose we take turns to wish. Only, nobody's to have a wish if the others don't think it's a nice wish. Do you agree?"
"I'd like to suggest that we take turns making wishes. But no one gets to have a wish unless everyone else thinks it’s a good one. Do you all agree?"
"Who's to have first wish?" asked Robert cautiously.[Pg 122]
"Who gets the first wish?" Robert asked carefully.[Pg 122]
"Me, if you don't mind," said Anthea apologetically. "And I've thought about it—and it's wings."
"Me, if that's okay," Anthea said apologetically. "And I've thought about it—and it's wings."
There was a silence. The others rather wanted to find fault, but it was hard, because the word "wings" raised a flutter of joyous excitement in every breast.
There was silence. The others wanted to criticize, but it was difficult, because the word "wings" sparked a rush of joyful excitement in everyone.
"Not so dusty," said Cyril generously; and Robert added, "Really, Panther, you're not quite such a fool as you look."
"Not too shabby," Cyril said kindly; and Robert added, "Honestly, Panther, you're not as big a fool as you seem."
Jane said, "I think it would be perfectly lovely. It's like a bright dream of delirium."
Jane said, "I think it would be absolutely wonderful. It's like a vivid dream of excitement."
They found the Sand-fairy easily. Anthea said—
They easily found the Sand-fairy. Anthea said—
"I wish we all had beautiful wings to fly with."
"I wish we all had beautiful wings to fly."
The Sand-fairy blew himself out, and next moment each child felt a funny feeling, half heaviness and half lightness, on its shoulders. The Psammead put its head on one side and turned its snail eyes from one side to the other.
The Sand-fairy blew itself out, and in the next moment, each child felt a strange sensation, part heaviness and part lightness, on their shoulders. The Psammead tilted its head to one side and moved its snail-like eyes back and forth.
"Not so bad," it said dreamily. "But really,[Pg 123] Robert, you're not quite such an angel as you look." Robert almost blushed.
"Not so bad," it said dreamily. "But really,[Pg 123] Robert, you're not really the angel you appear to be." Robert almost blushed.
The wings were very big, and more beautiful than you can possibly imagine—for they were soft and smooth, and every feather lay neatly in its place. And the feathers were of the most lovely mixed changing colors, like the rainbow, or iridescent glass, or the beautiful scum that sometimes floats on water that is not at all nice to drink.
The wings were huge and more beautiful than you can imagine—they were soft and smooth, and every feather was perfectly arranged. The feathers had the most stunning mix of shifting colors, like a rainbow, iridescent glass, or the pretty film that sometimes floats on water that isn’t safe to drink.
"Oh—but how can we fly?" Jane said, standing anxiously first on one foot and then on the other.
"Oh—but how can we fly?" Jane said, standing anxiously on one foot and then the other.
"Look out!" said Cyril; "you're treading on my wing."
"Watch out!" said Cyril; "you're stepping on my wing."
"Does it hurt?" asked Anthea with interest; but no one answered, for Robert had spread his wings and jumped up, and now he was slowly rising in the air. He looked very awkward in his knickerbocker suit—his boots in particular hung helplessly, and seemed much larger than when he was standing in them. But the others cared but little how he looked,—or how they looked, for that matter.[Pg 124] For now they all spread out their wings and rose in the air. Of course you all know what flying feels like, because everyone has dreamed about flying, and is seems so beautifully easy—only, you can never remember how you did it; and as a rule you have to do it without wings, in your dreams, which is more clever and uncommon, but not so easy to remember the rule for. Now the four children rose flapping from the ground, and you can't think how good the air felt as it ran against their faces. Their wings were tremendously wide when they were spread out, and they had to fly quite a long way apart so as not to get in each other's way. But little things like this are easily learned.
"Does it hurt?" Anthea asked curiously, but no one replied, as Robert had spread his wings and jumped up, slowly rising into the air. He looked really awkward in his knickerbocker suit—his boots, in particular, dangled awkwardly and seemed much bigger than when he was standing in them. But the others didn't care much about how he looked—or how they looked, for that matter.[Pg 124] Now they all spread their wings and took to the skies. Of course, you all know what flying feels like because everyone has dreamed of it, and it seems so wonderfully easy—only, you can never quite remember how you did it; usually, you end up doing it without wings in your dreams, which is clever and rare, but not easy to recall. Now the four kids took off flapping from the ground, and you can't imagine how refreshing the air felt as it brushed against their faces. Their wings were incredibly wide when spread out, and they had to fly quite a distance apart to avoid bumping into each other. But little details like that are easy to pick up.
All the words in the English Dictionary, and in the Greek Lexicon as well, are, I find, of no use at all to tell you exactly what it feels like to be flying, so I will not try. But I will say that to look down on the fields and woods instead of along at them, is something like looking at a beautiful live map, where, instead of silly colors on paper, you have real moving [Pg 125]sunny woods and green fields laid out one after the other. As Cyril said, and I can't think where he got hold of such a strange expression, "It does you a fair treat!" It was most wonderful and more like real magic than any wish the children had had yet. They flapped and flew and sailed on their great rainbow wings, between green earth and blue sky; and they flew over Rochester and then swerved round towards Maidstone, and presently they all began to feel extremely hungry. Curiously enough, this happened when they were flying rather low, and just as they were crossing an orchard where some early plums shone red and ripe.
All the words in the English dictionary, and in the Greek lexicon too, aren't really helpful to describe what it's like to be flying, so I won't bother. But I will say that looking down at the fields and woods instead of along at them is kind of like viewing a beautiful live map, where instead of silly colors on paper, you see real moving [Pg 125]sunny woods and green fields laid out one after another. As Cyril said, and I have no idea where he picked up such a weird phrase, "It does you a fair treat!" It was truly amazing and felt more like real magic than anything the kids had wished for so far. They flapped and flew and sailed on their huge rainbow wings, between green earth and blue sky; and they flew over Rochester and then veered toward Maidstone, and soon they all started to feel really hungry. Oddly enough, this happened when they were flying pretty low, just as they were crossing an orchard where some early plums gleamed red and ripe.
They paused on their wings. I cannot explain to you how this is done, but it is something like treading water when you are swimming, and hawks do it extremely well.
They stopped in mid-air. I can’t explain how this works, but it’s a bit like treading water when you’re swimming, and hawks do it really well.
"Yes, I daresay," said Cyril, though no one had spoken. "But stealing is stealing even if you've got wings."
"Yeah, I totally agree," said Cyril, even though no one had said anything. "But stealing is still stealing, even if you have wings."
"Do you really think so?" said Jane briskly. "If you've got wings you're a bird, and no one [Pg 126]minds birds breaking the commandments. At least, they may mind, but the birds always do it, and no one scolds them or sends them to prison."
"Do you really think that?" Jane replied quickly. "If you have wings, you're a bird, and no one [Pg 126] cares about birds breaking the rules. Sure, they might care, but the birds do it anyway, and no one punishes them or locks them up."
It was not so easy to perch on a plum-tree as you might think, because the rainbow wings were so very large; but somehow they all managed to do it, and the plums were certainly very sweet and juicy.
It wasn't as easy to sit on a plum tree as you might think, because the rainbow wings were really big; but somehow they all managed to do it, and the plums were definitely very sweet and juicy.
Fortunately, it was not till they had all had quite as many plums as were good for them that they saw a stout man, who looked exactly as though he owned the plum-trees, come hurrying through the orchard gate with a thick stick, and with one accord they disentangled their wings from the plum-laden branches and began to fly.
Fortunately, it wasn't until they had eaten more plums than was good for them that they saw a heavyset man, who looked exactly like he owned the plum trees, hurry through the orchard gate with a thick stick. In sync, they freed their wings from the branches loaded with plums and started to fly.
The man stopped short, with his mouth open. For he had seen the boughs of his trees moving and twitching, and he had said to himself, "Them young varmint—at it again!" And he had come out at once, for the lads of the village had taught him in past seasons that plums want looking after. But when he saw [Pg 127]the rainbow wings flutter up out of the plum-tree he felt that he must have gone quite mad, and he did not like the feeling at all. And when Anthea looked down and saw his mouth go slowly open, and stay so, and his face become green and mauve in patches, she called out—
The man suddenly stopped, his mouth agape. He had noticed the branches of his trees rustling and twitching, and he thought to himself, "Those young troublemakers—up to it again!" He rushed outside immediately because the village kids had taught him over the years that plums needed attention. But when he saw [Pg 127] the rainbow wings fluttering up from the plum tree, he felt like he must have completely lost his mind, and he really didn’t like that feeling at all. When Anthea looked down and saw his mouth slowly falling open and staying that way, along with his face turning green and purple in patches, she shouted—
"Don't be frightened," and felt hastily in her pocket for a threepenny-bit with a hole in it, which she had meant to hang on a ribbon round her neck, for luck. She hovered round the unfortunate plum-owner, and said, "We have had some of your plums; we thought it wasn't stealing, but now I am not so sure. So here's some money to pay for them."
"Don't be scared," she quickly felt in her pocket for a threepenny bit with a hole in it, which she had planned to wear on a ribbon around her neck for good luck. She lingered near the unfortunate plum owner and said, "We took some of your plums; we thought it wasn't stealing, but now I'm not so sure. So here's some money to pay for them."
She swooped down toward the terror-stricken grower of plums, and slipped the coin into the pocket of his jacket, and in a few flaps she had rejoined the others.
She dove down toward the terrified plum farmer, slipped a coin into the pocket of his jacket, and in just a few flaps, she had rejoined the others.
The farmer sat down on the grass, suddenly and heavily.
The farmer sat down on the grass, suddenly and with a thud.
"Well—I'm blessed!" he said. "This here is what they call delusions, I suppose. But this here threepenny"—he had pulled it out [Pg 128]and bitten it,—"that's real enough. Well, from this day forth I'll be a better man. It's the kind of thing to sober a chap for life, this is. I'm glad it was only wings, though. I'd rather see the birds as aren't there, and couldn't be, even if they pretend to talk, than some things as I could name."
"Well—I'm lucky!" he said. "This is what they call delusions, I guess. But this threepenny"—he pulled it out [Pg 128] and bit it,—"that's definitely real. From today on, I'm going to be a better man. This kind of thing will sober a guy for life. I'm just glad it was only wings, though. I'd rather see birds that aren't real and can't be, even if they pretend to talk, than some things I could name."
He got up slowly and heavily, and went indoors, and he was so nice to his wife that day that she felt quite happy, and said to herself, "Law, whatever have a-come to the man!" and smartened herself up and put a blue ribbon bow at the place where her collar fastened on, and looked so pretty that he was kinder than ever. So perhaps the winged children really did do one good thing that day. If so, it was the only one; for really there is nothing like wings for getting you into trouble. But, on the other hand, if you are in trouble, there is nothing like wings for getting you out of it.
He got up slowly and heavily and went inside. He was so nice to his wife that day that she felt genuinely happy and thought to herself, "Wow, what’s gotten into him?" She freshened herself up, added a blue ribbon bow to her collar, and looked so pretty that he was even kinder than before. So maybe the winged children actually did do one good thing that day. If that's true, it was the only one; because honestly, nothing gets you into trouble like having wings. But on the flip side, if you're in trouble, nothing helps you out of it like having wings.
This was the case in the matter of the fierce dog who sprang out at them when they had folded up their wings as small as possible and were going up to a farm door to ask for a [Pg 129]crust of bread and cheese, for in spite of the plums they were soon just as hungry as ever again.
This happened when the fierce dog lunged at them after they had tucked their wings in tightly and were approaching a farm door to ask for a [Pg 129] crust of bread and cheese, because even with the plums, they were quickly hungry once more.
Now there is no doubt whatever that, if the four had been ordinary wingless children, that black and fierce dog would have had a good bite out of the brown-stockinged leg of Robert, who was the nearest. But at its first growl there was a flutter of wings, and the dog was left to strain at his chain and stand on his hind-legs as if he were trying to fly too.
Now there's no doubt that if the four had been ordinary wingless kids, that black and fierce dog would have taken a nice bite out of the brown-stockinged leg of Robert, who was the closest. But at its first growl, there was a flutter of wings, and the dog was left straining at its chain, standing on its hind legs as if it were trying to fly too.
They tried several other farms, but at those where there were no dogs the people were far too frightened to do anything but scream; and at last, when it was nearly four o'clock, and their wings were getting miserably stiff and tired, they alighted on a church-tower and held a council of war.
They went to a few other farms, but at the places without dogs, the people were too scared to do anything but scream. Finally, when it was almost four o'clock and their wings were feeling stiff and tired, they landed on a church tower and held a strategy meeting.
"We can't possibly fly all the way home without dinner or tea," said Robert with desperate decision.
"We can't possibly fly all the way home without dinner or tea," Robert said with a sense of urgency.
"And nobody will give us any dinner, or even lunch, let alone tea," said Cyril.[Pg 130]
"And no one will give us dinner, or even lunch, much less tea," Cyril said.[Pg 130]
"Perhaps the clergyman here might," suggested Anthea. "He must know all about angels"—
"Maybe the clergyman here could," suggested Anthea. "He must know all about angels."
"Anybody could see we're not that," said Jane. "Look at Robert's boots and Squirrel's plaid necktie."
"Anyone can see we're not that," Jane said. "Just look at Robert's boots and Squirrel's plaid tie."
"Well," said Cyril firmly, "if the country you're in won't sell provisions, you take them. In wars I mean. I'm quite certain you do. And even in other stories no good brother would allow his little sisters to starve in the midst of plenty."
"Well," said Cyril confidently, "if the country you're in won't sell you supplies, then you take them. I mean in war. I'm sure you do. And in any other situation, no decent brother would let his little sisters starve when there’s plenty around."
"Plenty?" repeated Robert hungrily; and the others looked vaguely round the bare leads of the church-tower, and murmured, "In the midst of?"
"Plenty?" Robert repeated eagerly, and the others looked around the bare roof of the church tower and murmured, "In the midst of?"
"Yes," said Cyril impressively. "There is a larder window at the side of the clergyman's house, and I saw things to eat inside—custard pudding and cold chicken and tongue—and pies—and jam. It's rather a high window—but with wings"—
"Yeah," said Cyril with emphasis. "There's a pantry window on the side of the clergyman's house, and I saw food inside—custard pudding, cold chicken, tongue—and pies—and jam. It's a pretty high window—but with wings."
"How clever of you!" said Jane.
"That's really smart of you!" said Jane.
"Not at all," said Cyril modestly; "any born [Pg 131]general—Napoleon or the Duke of Marlborough—would have seen it just the same as I did."
"Not at all," Cyril said modestly; "any born [Pg 131]general—Napoleon or the Duke of Marlborough—would have seen it exactly as I did."
"It seems very wrong," said Anthea.
"It seems really messed up," said Anthea.
"Nonsense," said Cyril. "What was it Sir Philip Sidney said when the soldier wouldn't give him a drink?—'My necessity is greater than his.'"
"Nonsense," said Cyril. "What did Sir Philip Sidney say when the soldier wouldn’t give him a drink?—'My need is greater than his.'"
"We'll club together our money, though, and leave it to pay for the things, won't we?" Anthea was persuasive, and very nearly in tears, because it is most trying to feel enormously hungry and unspeakably sinful at one and the same time.
"We'll pool our money and use it to pay for things, right?" Anthea was really convincing, and she was close to tears because it’s really tough to feel extremely hungry and incredibly guilty at the same time.
"Some of it," was the cautious reply.
"Some of it," was the careful response.
Everyone now turned out its pockets on the lead roof of the tower, where visitors for the last hundred and fifty years had cut their own and their sweethearts' initials with penknives in the soft lead. There was five-and-seven-pence halfpenny altogether, and even the upright Anthea admitted that that was too much to pay for four people's dinners. Robert said he thought eighteenpence.[Pg 132]
Everyone now emptied their pockets on the lead roof of the tower, where visitors for the past one hundred and fifty years had carved their own and their sweethearts' initials with penknives into the soft lead. There was a total of five shillings and seven and a half pence, and even the upright Anthea acknowledged that was too much to pay for four people's dinners. Robert said he thought it should be eighteen pence.[Pg 132]
And half-a-crown was finally agreed to be "handsome."
And half a crown was finally agreed to be "generous."
So Anthea wrote on the back of her last term's report, which happened to be in her pocket, and from which she first tore her own name and that of the school, the following letter:—
So Anthea wrote on the back of her last term's report, which she happened to have in her pocket, and from which she first tore off her own name and that of the school, the following letter:—
"Dear Reverend Clergyman,—We are very hungry indeed because of having to fly all day, and we think it is not stealing when you are starving to death. We are afraid to ask you for fear you should say 'No,' because of course you know about angels, but you would not think we were angels. We will only take the necessities of life, and no pudding or pie, to show you it is not grediness but true starvation that makes us make your larder stand and deliver. But we are not highwaymen by trade."
"Dear Pastor,—We are very hungry indeed because we’ve been flying all day, and we believe it’s not stealing when you’re starving to death. We’re afraid to ask you for food in case you say 'No,' because of course you know about angels, but you wouldn’t think we were angels. We will only take the necessities of life, and no pudding or pie, to show you it’s not greediness but true starvation that makes us make your pantry stand and deliver. But we are not highway robbers by trade."
"Cut it short," said the others with one accord. And Anthea hastily added—
"Make it quick," said the others all at once. And Anthea quickly added—
"Our intentions are quite honourable if you only knew. And here is half-a-crown to show we are sinseer and grateful.
"Our intentions are truly honorable if you could just see it. And here's a half-crown to show that we are sincere and grateful."
"Thank you for your kind hospitality.
Thank you for your generous hospitality.
The half-crown was wrapped in this letter, and all the children felt that when the clergyman had read it he would understand everything, as well as anyone could who had not even seen the wings.
The half-crown was enclosed in this letter, and all the kids felt that when the clergyman read it, he would get it, just as well as anyone could who hadn’t even seen the wings.
"Now," said Cyril, "of course there's some risk; we'd better fly straight down the other side of the tower and then flutter low across the churchyard and in through the shrubbery. There doesn't seem to be anyone about. But you never know. The window looks out into the shrubbery. It is embowered in foliage, like a window in a story. I'll go in and get the things. Robert and Anthea can take them as I hand them out through the window; and Jane can keep watch,—her eyes are sharp,—and whistle if she sees anyone about. Shut up, Robert! she can whistle quite well enough for that, anyway. It ought not to be a very good whistle—it'll sound more natural and birdlike. Now then—off we go!"
"Okay," Cyril said, "there’s definitely some risk; we should fly directly down the other side of the tower and then glide low across the churchyard and into the bushes. It doesn’t look like anyone’s around, but you never know. The window opens into the bushes. It's surrounded by leaves, like something out of a story. I'll go in and grab the stuff. Robert and Anthea can take it as I pass it out through the window, and Jane can keep watch—she has sharp eyes—and whistle if she spots anyone nearby. Be quiet, Robert! She can whistle just fine for that, anyway. It shouldn’t be a very loud whistle—it’ll sound more natural and birdlike. Alright—let’s go!"
I cannot pretend that stealing is right. I can only say that on this occasion it did not look like stealing to the hungry four, but ap[Pg 134]peared in the light of a fair and reasonable business transaction. They had never happened to learn that a tongue,—hardly cut into,—a chicken and a half, a loaf of bread, and a syphon of soda-water cannot be bought in the stores for half-a-crown. These were the necessaries of life, which Cyril handed out of the larder window when, quite unobserved and without hindrance or adventure, he had led the others to that happy spot. He felt that to refrain from jam, apple pie, cake, and mixed candied peel, was a really heroic act—and I agree with him. He was also proud of not taking the custard pudding,—and there I think he was wrong,—because if he had taken it there would have been a difficulty about returning the dish; no one, however starving, has a right to steal china pie-dishes with little pink flowers on them. The soda-water syphon was different. They could not do without something to drink, and as the maker's name was on it they felt sure it would be returned to him wherever they might leave it. If they had time they would take it back themselves.[Pg 135] The man appeared to live in Rochester, which would not be much out of their way home.
I can’t pretend that stealing is okay. I can only say that, for the hungry four, it didn’t feel like stealing this time; it seemed more like a fair and reasonable business deal. They had never learned that a tongue—barely cut into—a chicken and a half, a loaf of bread, and a syphon of soda water couldn’t be bought in stores for half a crown. These were the essentials of life that Cyril handed out from the larder window after he led the others to that happy spot, completely unnoticed and without any trouble or adventure. He felt that passing up jam, apple pie, cake, and mixed candied peel was a truly heroic act—and I agree with him. He was also proud of not taking the custard pudding—and in that, I think he was mistaken—because if he had taken it, there would have been a problem returning the dish; no one, no matter how starving, has the right to steal china pie dishes with little pink flowers on them. The soda water syphon was different. They couldn’t go without something to drink, and since the maker’s name was on it, they felt sure they could return it no matter where they left it. If they had time, they’d take it back themselves. The man seemed to live in Rochester, which wouldn’t be too far out of their way home.
Everything was carried up to the top of the tower, and laid down on a sheet of kitchen paper which Cyril had found on the top shelf of the larder. As he unfolded it, Anthea said, "I don't think that's a necessity of life."
Everything was brought up to the top of the tower and placed on a sheet of kitchen paper that Cyril had found on the top shelf of the pantry. As he unfolded it, Anthea said, "I don't think that's essential for life."
"Yes, it is," said he. "We must put the things down somewhere to cut them up; and I heard father say the other day people got diseases from germans in rain-water. Now there must be lots of rain-water here,—and when it dries up the germans are left, and they'd get into the things, and we should all die of scarlet fever."
"Yeah, it is," he said. "We need to put the stuff down somewhere to chop it up; and I heard Dad say the other day that people can catch diseases from germs in rainwater. There must be a lot of rainwater here—and when it dries up, the germs are left behind, and they could get into the stuff, and we could all die from scarlet fever."
"What are germans?"
"What are Germans?"
"Little waggly things you see with microscopes," said Cyril, with a scientific air. "They give you every illness you can think of. I'm sure the paper was a necessary, just as much as the bread and meat and water. Now then! Oh, I'm hungry!"[Pg 136]
"Little wiggly things you see under microscopes," Cyril said with a scientific flair. "They cause every illness you can imagine. I'm sure the paper was just as necessary as bread, meat, and water. Now then! Oh, I’m hungry!"[Pg 136]
I do not wish to describe the picnic party on the top of the tower. You can imagine well enough what it is like to carve a chicken and a tongue with a knife that has only one blade and that snapped off short about half-way down. But it was done. Eating with your fingers is greasy and difficult—and paper dishes soon get to look very spotty and horrid. But one thing you can't imagine, and that is how soda-water behaves when you try to drink it straight out of a syphon—especially a quite full one. But if imagination will not help you, experience will, and you can easily try it for yourself if you can get a grown-up to give you the syphon. If you want to have a really thorough experience, put the tube in your mouth and press the handle very suddenly and very hard. You had better do it when you are alone—and out of doors is best for this experiment.
I don’t want to describe the picnic party on top of the tower. You can imagine what it’s like to cut up a chicken and a tongue with a knife that has only one blade and that snapped off halfway down. But it was done. Eating with your fingers is messy and tricky—and paper plates quickly become spotty and gross. But one thing you can’t imagine is how soda water behaves when you try to drink it straight from a syphon—especially a completely full one. But if your imagination doesn’t help, experience will, and you can easily try it yourself if you can get an adult to hand you the syphon. If you want a really unforgettable experience, put the tube in your mouth and press the handle very suddenly and firmly. You’d better do this when you’re alone—and it's best to do it outdoors for this experiment.
However you eat them, tongue and chicken and new bread are very good things, and no one minds being sprinkled a little with soda-water on a really fine hot day. So that every[Pg 137]one enjoyed the dinner very much indeed, and everyone ate as much as it possibly could: first, because it was extremely hungry; and secondly, because, as I said, tongue and chicken and new bread are very nice.
However you eat them, tongue, chicken, and fresh bread are really delicious, and nobody minds getting a little splashed with soda water on a truly hot day. So everyone enjoyed the dinner a lot, and everyone ate as much as they could: first, because they were super hungry; and second, because, like I said, tongue, chicken, and fresh bread are really nice.
Now, I daresay you will have noticed that if you have to wait for your dinner till long after the proper time, and then eat a great deal more dinner than usual, and sit in the hot sun on the top of a church-tower—or even anywhere else—you become soon and strangely sleepy. Now Anthea and Jane and Cyril and Robert were very like you in many ways, and when they had eaten all they could, and drunk all there was, they became sleepy, strangely and soon—especially Anthea, because she had gotten up so early.
Now, I bet you've noticed that if you have to wait a long time for dinner and then end up eating way more than usual while sitting in the hot sun on top of a church tower—or really anywhere—you quickly start to feel strangely sleepy. Anthea, Jane, Cyril, and Robert were very much like you in many ways, and after they had eaten all they could and drunk all there was, they became sleepy, oddly and quickly—especially Anthea, since she had woken up so early.
One by one they left off talking and leaned back, and before it was a quarter of an hour after dinner they had all curled round and tucked themselves up under their large soft warm wings and were fast asleep. And the sun was sinking slowly in the west. (I must say it was in the west, because it is usual in [Pg 138]books to say so, for fear careless people should think it was setting in the east. In point of fact, it was not exactly in the west either—but that's near enough.) The sun, I repeat, was sinking slowly in the west, and the children slept warmly and happily on—for wings are cosier than eider-down quilts to sleep under. The shadow of the church-tower fell across the churchyard, and across the Vicarage, and across the field beyond; and presently there were no more shadows, and the sun had set, and the wings were gone. And still the children slept. But not for long. Twilight is very beautiful, but it is chilly; and you know, however sleepy you are, you wake up soon enough if your brother or sister happens to be up first and pulls your blankets off you. The four wingless children shivered and woke. And there they were,—on the top of a church-tower in the dusky twilight, with blue stars coming out by ones and twos and tens and twenties over their heads,—miles away from home, with three shillings and three-halfpence in their pockets, and a doubtful act [Pg 139]about the necessities of life to be accounted for if anyone found them with the soda-water syphon.
One by one, they stopped talking and leaned back, and before it had been a quarter of an hour after dinner, they had all curled up under their large, soft, warm wings and fallen fast asleep. The sun was slowly setting in the west. (I mention it was in the west because it's common in [Pg 138]books to state that, in case careless readers might think it was setting in the east. Actually, it wasn't exactly in the west either—but that's close enough.) The sun, I repeat, was sinking slowly in the west, and the children slept warmly and happily on—because wings are cozier than eider-down quilts to sleep under. The shadow of the church tower stretched across the churchyard, across the Vicarage, and across the field beyond; and soon there were no more shadows, the sun had set, and the wings were gone. And still the children slept. But not for long. Twilight is very beautiful, but it’s chilly; and you know that, no matter how sleepy you are, you wake up quickly if your brother or sister happens to wake up first and pulls your blankets off you. The four wingless children shivered and woke up. And there they were—at the top of a church tower in the dusky twilight, with blue stars appearing one by one, two by two, and then tens and twenties overhead—miles away from home, with three shillings and three and a half pence in their pockets, and a questionable act [Pg 139] about the necessities of life to explain if anyone found them with the soda-water syphon.
They looked at each other. Cyril spoke first, picking up the syphon—
They looked at each other. Cyril spoke first, grabbing the syphon—
"We'd better get along down and get rid of this beastly thing. It's dark enough to leave it on the clergyman's doorstep, I should think. Come on."
"We should head down and get rid of this horrible thing. It's dark enough to leave it on the clergyman's doorstep, I think. Let's go."
There was a little turret at the corner of the tower, and the little turret had a door in it. They had noticed this when they were eating, but had not explored it, as you would have done in their place. Because, of course, when you have wings and can explore the whole sky, doors seem hardly worth exploring.
There was a small turret at the corner of the tower, and the small turret had a door. They had seen this while they were eating, but hadn’t checked it out, which you probably would have if you were in their shoes. Because, of course, when you have wings and can explore the entire sky, doors don’t really seem worth the effort.
Now they turned towards it.
Now they faced it.
"Of course," said Cyril "this is the way down."
"Of course," Cyril said, "this is the way down."
It was. But the door was locked on the inside!
It was. But the door was locked from the inside!
And the world was growing darker and darker. And they were miles from home. And there was the soda-water syphon.[Pg 140]
And the world was getting darker and darker. And they were miles away from home. And there was the soda-water siphon.[Pg 140]
I shall not tell you whether anyone cried, nor, if so, how many cried, nor who cried. You will be better employed in making up your minds what you would have done if you had been in their place.[Pg 141]
I won't say whether anyone cried, how many cried, or who cried. It would be more useful for you to think about what you would have done if you were in their situation.[Pg 141]
CHAPTER V
NO WINGS
Whether anyone cried or not, there was certainly an interval during which none of the party was quite itself. When they grew calmer, Anthea put her handkerchief in her pocket and her arm round Jane, and said—
Whether anyone cried or not, there was definitely a moment when none of the group was really themselves. When they settled down, Anthea put her handkerchief in her pocket, wrapped her arm around Jane, and said—
"It can't be for more than one night. We can signal with our handkerchiefs in the morning. They'll be dry then. And someone will come up and let us out"—
"It can't be for more than one night. We can signal with our handkerchiefs in the morning. They'll be dry by then. And someone will come up and let us out."
"And find the syphon," said Cyril gloomily; "and we shall be sent to prison for stealing"—
"And find the siphon," said Cyril gloomily, "and we'll end up in jail for stealing."
"You said it wasn't stealing. You said you were sure it wasn't."
"You said it wasn't theft. You said you were positive it wasn't."
"I'm not sure now" said Cyril shortly.
"I'm not sure now," Cyril said shortly.
"Let's throw the thing away among the trees," said Robert, "then no one can do anything to us."
"Let's get rid of it in the woods," Robert said, "that way no one can do anything to us."
"Oh yes,"—Cyril's laugh was not a light-[Pg 142]hearted one,—"and hit some chap on the head, and be murderers as well as—as the other thing."
"Oh yes,"—Cyril's laugh wasn't a carefree one,—"and hit some guy on the head, and be murderers as well as—as the other thing."
"But we can't stay up here all night," said Jane; "and I want my tea."
"But we can't stay up here all night," Jane said. "I want my tea."
"You can't want your tea," said Robert; "you've only just had your dinner."
"You can't want your tea," Robert said; "you just had your dinner."
"But I do want it," she said; "especially when you begin talking about stopping up here all night. Oh, Panther—I want to go home! I want to go home!"
"But I do want it," she said; "especially when you start talking about staying here all night. Oh, Panther—I want to go home! I want to go home!"
"Hush, hush," Anthea said. "Don't, dear. It'll be all right, somehow. Don't, don't"—
"Hush, hush," Anthea said. "Don't, sweetie. It'll be okay, somehow. Don't, don't."
"Let her cry," said Robert desperately; "if she howls loud enough, someone may hear and come and let us out."
"Let her cry," Robert said desperately; "if she screams loud enough, someone might hear and come to let us out."
"And see the soda-water thing," said Anthea swiftly. "Robert, don't be a brute. Oh, Jane, do try to be a man! It's just the same for all of us."
"And look at the soda water thing," Anthea said quickly. "Robert, don’t be a jerk. Oh, Jane, please try to man up! It’s the same for all of us."
Jane did try to "be a man"—and reduced her howls to sniffs.
Jane did try to "act tough"—and quieted her cries to sniffles.
There was a pause. Then Cyril said slowly, "Look here. We must risk that syphon. I'll [Pg 143]button it up inside my jacket—perhaps no one will notice it. You others keep well in front of me. There are lights in the clergyman's house. They've not gone to bed yet. We must just yell as loud as ever we can. Now all scream when I say three. Robert, you do the yell like a railway engine, and I'll do the coo-ee like father's. The girls can do as they please. One, two, three!"
There was a pause. Then Cyril said slowly, "Listen. We have to take the chance with that siphon. I'll [Pg 143]hide it inside my jacket—maybe nobody will see it. You all stay ahead of me. There are lights in the clergyman's house. They haven't gone to bed yet. We just need to scream as loud as we can. Now let’s all scream when I say three. Robert, you make the noise like a train, and I'll do the coo-ee like Dad. The girls can do whatever they want. One, two, three!"
A four-fold yell rent the silent peace of the evening, and a maid at one of the Vicarage windows paused with her hand on the blind-cord.
A loud shout broke the quiet of the evening, and a maid at one of the Vicarage windows stopped with her hand on the blind cord.
"One, two, three!" Another yell, piercing and complex, startled the owls and starlings to a flutter of feathers in the belfry below. The maid flew from the Vicarage window and ran down the Vicarage stairs and into the Vicarage kitchen, and fainted as soon as she had explained to the man-servant and the cook and the cook's cousin that she had seen a ghost. It was quite untrue, of course, but I suppose the girl's nerves were a little upset by the yelling.[Pg 144]
"One, two, three!" Another shout, loud and chaotic, startled the owls and starlings into a flurry of feathers in the belfry below. The maid dashed from the Vicarage window, ran down the stairs, and into the kitchen, fainting as soon as she told the man-servant, the cook, and the cook's cousin that she had seen a ghost. It was completely untrue, of course, but I guess the girl's nerves were a bit frayed from all the yelling.[Pg 144]
"One, two, three!" The Vicar was on his doorstep by this time, and there was no mistaking the yell that greeted him.
"One, two, three!" The Vicar was standing on his doorstep by now, and there was no doubt about the shout that welcomed him.
"Goodness me," he said to his wife, "my dear, someone's being murdered in the church! Give me my hat and a thick stick, and tell Andrew to come after me. I expect it's the lunatic who stole the tongue."
"Goodness," he said to his wife, "my dear, someone’s being murdered in the church! Get my hat and a sturdy stick, and tell Andrew to follow me. I bet it’s the guy who stole the tongue."
The children had seen the flash of light when the Vicar opened his front door. They had seen his dark form on his doorstep, and they had paused for breath, and also to see what he would do.
The kids had seen the flash of light when the Vicar opened his front door. They had spotted his shadowy figure on the doorstep, and they had stopped to catch their breath and to see what he would do next.
When he turned back for his hat, Cyril said hastily—
When he turned back for his hat, Cyril said quickly—
"He thinks he only fancied he heard something. You don't half yell! Now! One, two, three!"
"He thinks he just imagined he heard something. You really yell! Now! One, two, three!"
It was certainly a whole yell this time, and the Vicar's wife flung her arms round her husband and screamed a feeble echo of it.
It was definitely a loud shout this time, and the Vicar's wife threw her arms around her husband and let out a weak echo of it.
"You shan't go!" she said, "not alone. Jessie!"—the maid unfainted and came out of the kitchen,—"send Andrew at once. There's [Pg 145]a dangerous lunatic in the church, and he must go immediately and catch him."
"You can't go!" she said, "not by yourself. Jessie!"—the maid, who was not pretending, stepped out of the kitchen,—"send Andrew right away. There's [Pg 145]a dangerous lunatic in the church, and he needs to go right now and catch him."
"I expect he will catch it too," said Jessie to herself as she went through the kitchen door. "Here, Andrew," she said, "there's someone screaming like mad in the church, and the missus says you're to go along and catch it."
"I think he will catch it too," Jessie said to herself as she went through the kitchen door. "Hey, Andrew," she said, "there's someone screaming like crazy in the church, and the missus says you need to go help out."
"Not alone, I don't," said Andrew in low firm tones. To his master he merely said, "Yis sir."
"Not alone, I don't," Andrew said in a low, steady voice. To his master, he simply replied, "Yes, sir."
"You heard those screams?"
"You heard the screams?"
"I did think I noticed a sort of something," said Andrew.
"I thought I noticed something," said Andrew.
"Well, come on, then," said the Vicar. "My dear, I must go!" He pushed her gently into the sitting-room, banged the door, and rushed out, dragging Andrew by the arm.
"Alright, let’s go," said the Vicar. "Honey, I have to go!" He gently pushed her into the sitting room, slammed the door, and hurried out, pulling Andrew by the arm.
A volley of yells greeted them. Then as it died into silence Andrew shouted, "Hullo, you there! Did you call?"
A shout of voices welcomed them. Then, as it faded into quiet, Andrew yelled, "Hey, you! Did you call?"
"Yes," shouted four far-away voices.
"Yes," shouted four distant voices.
"They seem to be in the air," said the Vicar. "Very remarkable."
"They seem to be floating," said the Vicar. "Very impressive."
"Where are you?" shouted Andrew; and[Pg 146] Cyril replied in his deepest voice, very slow and loud—
"Where are you?" shouted Andrew; and[Pg 146] Cyril replied in his deepest voice, very slow and loud—
"CHURCH! TOWER! TOP!"
"Church! Tower! Top!"
"Come down, then!" said Andrew; and the same voice replied—
"Come down, then!" said Andrew; and the same voice replied—
"Can't! Door locked!"
"Can’t! Door's locked!"
"My goodness!" said the Vicar. "Andrew, fetch the stable lantern. Perhaps it would be as well to fetch another man from the village."
"My gosh!" said the Vicar. "Andrew, get the stable lantern. It might be a good idea to bring another man from the village."
"With the rest of the gang about, very likely. No, sir; if this 'ere ain't a trap—well, may I never! There's cook's cousin at the back door now. He's a keeper, sir, and used to dealing with vicious characters. And he's got his gun, sir."
"With the rest of the crew around, probably. No way, sir; if this isn’t a setup—well, I hope I never see it! There's the cook's cousin by the back door now. He's a gamekeeper, sir, and he's used to handling dangerous people. And he’s got his gun, sir."
"Hullo there!" shouted Cyril from the church-tower; "come up and let us out."
"Hey there!" shouted Cyril from the church tower; "come up and let us out."
"We're a-coming," said Andrew. "I'm a-going to get a policeman and a gun."
"We're on our way," said Andrew. "I'm going to get a cop and a gun."
"Andrew, Andrew," said the Vicar, "that's not the truth."
"Andrew, Andrew," said the Vicar, "that's not the truth."
"It's near enough, sir, for the likes of them."
"It's close enough, sir, for people like them."
So Andrew fetched the lantern and the cook's [Pg 147]cousin; and the Vicar's wife begged them all to be very careful.
So Andrew got the lantern and the cook's [Pg 147] cousin; and the Vicar's wife urged everyone to be very cautious.
They went across the churchyard—it was quite dark now—and as they went they talked. The Vicar was certain a lunatic was on the church-tower—the one who had written the mad letter, and taken the cold tongue and things. Andrew thought it was a "trap"; the cook's cousin alone was calm. "Great cry, little wool," said he; "dangerous chaps is quieter." He was not at all afraid. But then he had a gun. That was why he was asked to lead the way up the worn, steep, dark steps of the church-tower. He did lead the way, with the lantern in one hand and the gun in the other. Andrew went next. He pretended afterwards that this was because he was braver than his master, but really it was because he thought of traps and he did not like the idea of being behind the others for fear someone should come softly up behind him and catch hold of his legs in the dark. They went on and on, and round and round the little corkscrew staircase—then through the bell-[Pg 148]ringers' loft, where the bell-ropes hung with soft furry ends like giant caterpillars—then up another stair into the belfry, where the big quiet bells are—and then on up a ladder with broad steps—and then up a little stone stair. And at the top of that there was a little door. And the door was bolted on the stair side.
They crossed the churchyard—it was pretty dark now—and while they walked, they talked. The Vicar was convinced a crazy person was in the church tower—the one who had written the insane letter and taken the cold tongue and other things. Andrew thought it was a "trap"; only the cook's cousin stayed calm. "Big noise, little action," he said; "dangerous guys are quieter." He wasn’t scared at all. But then he had a gun. That’s why he was asked to lead the way up the worn, steep, dark steps of the church tower. He led the way, holding the lantern in one hand and the gun in the other. Andrew followed. He later pretended it was because he was braver than his boss, but really it was because he thought about traps, and he didn’t like the idea of being behind the others, fearing someone might come up quietly behind him and grab his legs in the dark. They continued onward, going around and around the small corkscrew staircase—then through the bell-ringers' loft, where the bell ropes hung with soft furry ends like giant caterpillars—then up another stair into the belfry, where the big, quiet bells were—and then up a ladder with wide steps—and then up a small stone stair. At the top of that, there was a little door. The door was bolted on the stair side.
The cook's cousin, who was a gamekeeper, kicked at the door, and said—
The cook's cousin, who worked as a gamekeeper, kicked the door and said—
"Hullo, you there!"
"Hey, are you there?"
The children were holding on to each other on the other side of the door, and trembling with anxiousness—and very hoarse with their howls. They could hardly speak, but Cyril managed to reply huskily—
The kids were clinging to each other on the other side of the door, shaking with anxiety—and their voices were very hoarse from crying. They could barely talk, but Cyril managed to respond in a raspy voice—
"Hullo, you there!"
"Hey, are you there?"
"How did you get up there?"
"How did you get up there?"
It was no use saying "We flew up," so Cyril said—
It was pointless to say "We flew up," so Cyril said—
"We got up—and then we found the door was locked and we couldn't get down. Let us out—do."
"We got up—and then we found the door was locked and we couldn't get down. Let us out—please."
"How many of you are there?" asked the keeper.[Pg 149]
"How many of you are there?" asked the keeper.[Pg 149]
"Only four," said Cyril.
"Just four," said Cyril.
"Are you armed?"
"Do you have a weapon?"
"Are we what?"
"Are we really?"
"I've got my gun handy—so you'd best not try any tricks," said the keeper. "If we open the door, will you promise to come quietly down, and no nonsense?"
"I have my gun ready, so you'd better not try anything funny," said the keeper. "If we open the door, will you promise to come down quietly without any nonsense?"
"Yes—oh YES!" said all the children together.
"Yes—oh YES!" all the kids shouted together.
"Bless me," said the Vicar, "surely that was a female voice?"
"Bless me," said the Vicar, "that was definitely a female voice, right?"
"Shall I open the door, sir?" said the keeper. Andrew went down a few steps, "to leave room for the others" he said afterwards.
"Should I open the door, sir?" asked the keeper. Andrew stepped down a few steps, "to make space for the others," he said afterward.
"Yes," said the Vicar, "open the door. Remember," he said through the keyhole, "we have come to release you. You will keep your promise to refrain from violence?"
"Yes," said the Vicar, "open the door. Remember," he said through the keyhole, "we've come to set you free. Will you keep your promise to avoid violence?"
"How this bolt do stick," said the keeper; "anyone 'ud think it hadn't been drawed for half a year." As a matter of fact it hadn't.
"How this bolt is stuck," said the keeper; "anyone would think it hasn't been drawn in half a year." As a matter of fact, it hadn't.
When all the bolts were drawn, the keeper spoke deep-chested words through the keyhole.[Pg 150]
When all the bolts were drawn, the keeper spoke in a deep voice through the keyhole.[Pg 150]
"I don't open," said he, "till you've gone over to the other side of the tower. And if one of you comes at me I fire. Now!"
"I won't open," he said, "until you've crossed to the other side of the tower. And if anyone tries to come at me, I’ll shoot. Now!"
"We're all over on the other side," said the voices.
"We're all over on the other side," the voices said.
The keeper felt pleased with himself, and owned himself a bold man when he threw open that door, and, stepping out into the leads, flashed the full light of the stable lantern on the group of desperadoes standing against the parapet on the other side of the tower.
The keeper felt good about himself and considered himself brave when he threw open that door and, stepping out onto the roof, shone the full light of the stable lantern on the group of outlaws standing against the parapet on the other side of the tower.
He lowered his gun, and he nearly dropped the lantern.
He lowered his gun and almost dropped the lantern.
"So help me," he cried, "if they ain't a pack of kiddies!"
"So help me," he exclaimed, "if they aren't just a bunch of kids!"
The Vicar now advanced.
The Vicar stepped forward.
"How did you come here?" he asked severely. "Tell me at once."
"How did you get here?" he asked sternly. "Tell me right now."
"Oh, take us down," said Jane, catching at his coat, "and we'll tell you anything you like. You won't believe us, but it doesn't matter. Oh, take us down!"
"Oh, take us down," Jane said, grabbing his coat, "and we’ll tell you whatever you want. You probably won’t believe us, but that’s okay. Oh, please take us down!"
The others crowded round him, with the [Pg 151]same entreaty. All but Cyril. He had enough to do with the soda-water syphon, which would keep slipping down under his jacket. It needed both hands to keep it steady in its place.
The others gathered around him, with the [Pg 151]same request. Everyone except Cyril. He had enough to deal with the soda-water siphon, which kept slipping down under his jacket. It took both hands to hold it steady in its spot.
But he said, standing as far out of the lantern light as possible—
But he said, standing as far out of the lantern light as he could—
"Please do take us down."
"Please take us down."
So they were taken down. It is no joke to go down a strange church-tower in the dark, but the keeper helped them—only, Cyril had to be independent because of the soda-water syphon. It would keep trying to get away. Half-way down the ladder it all but escaped. Cyril just caught it by its spout, and as nearly as possible lost his footing. He was trembling and pale when at last they reached the bottom of the winding stair and stepped out on to the stones of the church-porch.
They were brought down. It's no joke going down an unfamiliar church tower in the dark, but the caretaker was there to help them—except Cyril had to handle himself because of the soda water siphon. It kept trying to slip away. Halfway down the ladder, it almost got free. Cyril barely managed to grab it by its spout and nearly lost his footing. He was trembling and pale when they finally reached the bottom of the spiral staircase and stepped out onto the stones of the church porch.
Then suddenly the keeper caught Cyril and Robert each by an arm.
Then suddenly the keeper grabbed Cyril and Robert by the arm.
"You bring along the gells, sir," said he; "you and Andrew can manage them."
"You bring the gels, sir," he said; "you and Andrew can handle them."
"Let go!" said Cyril; "we aren't running [Pg 152]away. We haven't hurt your old church. Leave go!"
"Let go!" said Cyril; "we're not running [Pg 152] away. We haven't damaged your old church. Let go!"
"You just come along," said the keeper; and Cyril dared not oppose him with violence, because just then the syphon began to slip again.
"You just come along," said the keeper; and Cyril didn't dare to resist him forcefully, because at that moment the syphon started to slip again.
So they were marched into the Vicarage study, and the Vicar's wife came rushing in.
So they were led into the Vicarage study, and the Vicar's wife came rushing in.
"Oh, William, are you safe?" she cried.
"Oh, William, are you okay?" she cried.
Robert hastened to allay her anxiety.
Robert rushed to ease her worries.
"Yes," he said, "he's quite safe. We haven't hurt them at all. And please, we're very late, and they'll be anxious at home. Could you send us home in your carriage?"
"Yes," he said, "he's completely safe. We haven't harmed them at all. And please, we're really late, and they'll be worried at home. Could you give us a ride back in your carriage?"
"Or perhaps there's a hotel near where we could get a carriage," said Anthea. "Martha will be very anxious as it is."
"Or maybe there's a hotel nearby where we can catch a ride," said Anthea. "Martha will be really worried as it is."
The Vicar had sunk into a chair, overcome by emotion and amazement.
The Vicar had collapsed into a chair, overwhelmed by feelings and astonishment.
Cyril had also sat down, and was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees because of the soda-water syphon.
Cyril had also sat down, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees because of the soda water siphon.
"But how did you come to be locked up in the church-tower?" asked the Vicar.[Pg 153]
"But how did you end up locked in the church tower?" asked the Vicar.[Pg 153]
"We went up," said Robert slowly, "and we were tired, and we all went to sleep, and when we woke up we found the door was locked, so we yelled."
"We went upstairs," Robert said slowly, "and we were exhausted, and we all fell asleep, and when we woke up, we found the door was locked, so we shouted."
"I should think you did!" said the Vicar's wife. "Frightening everybody out of their wits like this! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves."
"I would think so too!" said the Vicar's wife. "Scaring everyone half to death like this! You should be ashamed of yourselves."
"We are," said Jane gently.
"We are," said Jane gently.
"But who locked the door?" asked the Vicar.
"But who locked the door?" asked the Vicar.
"I don't know at all," said Robert, with perfect truth. "Do please send us home."
"I have no idea," Robert said honestly. "Please send us home."
"Well, really," said the Vicar, "I suppose we'd better. Andrew, put the horse to, and you can take them home."
"Well, actually," said the Vicar, "I guess we should. Andrew, get the horse ready, and you can take them home."
"Not alone, I don't," said Andrew to himself.
"Not by myself, I don't," said Andrew to himself.
And the Vicar went on, "let this be a lesson to you"—— He went on talking, and the children listened miserably. But the keeper was not listening. He was looking at the unfortunate Cyril. He knew all about poachers, of course, so he knew how people look when they're hiding something. The Vicar [Pg 154]had just got to the part about trying to grow up to be a blessing to your parents, and not a trouble and disgrace, when the keeper suddenly said—
And the Vicar continued, "let this be a lesson for you"—— He kept talking, and the children listened sadly. But the keeper wasn't paying attention. He was watching the unfortunate Cyril. He knew all about poachers, so he recognized how people look when they're trying to hide something. The Vicar [Pg 154]had just reached the point about growing up to be a blessing to your parents, not a burden and a shame, when the keeper suddenly said—
"Arst him what he's got there under his jacket;" and Cyril knew that concealment was at an end. So he stood up, and squared his shoulders and tried to look noble, like the boys in books that no one can look in the face of and doubt that they come of brave and noble families, and will be faithful to the death, and he pulled out the syphon and said—
"Ask him what he's hiding under his jacket;" and Cyril realized that the hiding was over. So he got up, squared his shoulders, and tried to look heroic, like the boys in stories that no one can look at and doubt that they come from brave and noble families, and will stay loyal until the end, and he pulled out the syphon and said—
"Well, there you are, then."
"Well, there you go."
There was silence. Cyril went on—there was nothing else for it—
There was silence. Cyril continued—there was no other option—
"Yes, we took this out of your larder, and some chicken and tongue and bread. We were very hungry, and we didn't take the custard or jam. We only took bread and meat and water,—and we couldn't help its being soda kind,—just the necessaries of life; and we left half-a-crown to pay for it, and we left a letter. And we're very sorry. And my father will pay a fine and anything you like, [Pg 155]but don't send us to prison. Mother would be so vexed. You know what you said about not being a disgrace. Well, don't you go and do it to us—that's all! We're as sorry as we can be. There!"
"Yes, we took some food from your pantry, including chicken, tongue, and bread. We were really hungry, and we didn’t take the custard or jam. We only took bread, meat, and water – even if the water was carbonated – just the essentials; and we left half a crown to cover it, along with a letter. We’re really sorry. My dad will pay a fine or anything you want, [Pg 155] but please don’t send us to prison. Mom would be so upset. Remember what you said about not being a disgrace? Well, please don’t do that to us – that’s all! We’re as sorry as we can be. There!"
"However did you get up to the larder window?" said Mrs. Vicar.
"How did you make it to the pantry window?" asked Mrs. Vicar.
"I can't tell you that," said Cyril firmly.
"I can't tell you that," Cyril said firmly.
"Is this the whole truth you've been telling me?" asked the clergyman.
"Is this really the whole truth you've been telling me?" asked the clergyman.
"No," answered Jane suddenly; "it's all true, but it's not the whole truth. We can't tell you that. It's no good asking. Oh, do forgive us and take us home!" She ran to the Vicar's wife and threw her arms round her. The Vicar's wife put her arms round Jane, and the keeper whispered behind his hand to the Vicar—
"No," Jane suddenly replied; "it's all true, but it’s not the complete truth. We can't tell you everything. There's no point in asking. Oh, please forgive us and take us home!" She ran to the Vicar's wife and wrapped her arms around her. The Vicar's wife embraced Jane, and the keeper whispered behind his hand to the Vicar—
"They're all right, sir—I expect it's a pal they're standing by. Someone put 'em up to it, and they won't peach. Game little kids."
"They're fine, sir—I think it's a friend they're supporting. Someone encouraged them to do this, and they won't snitch. Brave little kids."
"Tell me," said the Vicar kindly, "are you screening someone else? Had anyone else anything to do with this?"[Pg 156]
"Tell me," the Vicar said kindly, "are you checking up on someone else? Did anyone else have anything to do with this?"[Pg 156]
"Yes," said Anthea, thinking of the Psammead; "but it wasn't their fault."
"Yeah," said Anthea, thinking about the Psammead; "but it wasn't their fault."
"Very well, my dears," said the Vicar, "then let's say no more about it. Only just tell us why you wrote such an odd letter."
"Alright, my dears," said the Vicar, "let's not discuss it anymore. Just tell us why you wrote such a strange letter."
"I don't know," said Cyril. "You see, Anthea wrote it in such a hurry, and it really didn't seem like stealing then. But afterwards, when we found we couldn't get down off the church-tower, it seemed just exactly like it. We are all very sorry"—
"I don't know," Cyril said. "You see, Anthea wrote it so quickly, and it didn’t really feel like stealing at the time. But later, when we realized we couldn’t get down from the church tower, it felt just like that. We all feel really sorry."
"Say no more about it," said the Vicar's wife; "but another time just think before you take other people's tongues. Now—some cake and milk before you go home?"
"Don’t mention it again," said the Vicar's wife; "but next time, just consider before you speak for others. Now—would you like some cake and milk before you head home?"
When Andrew came to say that the horse was put to, and was he expected to be led alone into the trap that he had plainly seen from the first, he found the children eating cake and drinking milk and laughing at the Vicar's jokes. Jane was sitting on the Vicar's wife's lap.
When Andrew came to say that the horse was ready, and was he really expected to walk into the trap that he had clearly noticed from the start, he found the kids eating cake, drinking milk, and laughing at the Vicar's jokes. Jane was sitting on the Vicar's wife's lap.
So you see they got off better than they deserved.[Pg 157]
So you see they ended up better off than they deserved.[Pg 157]
The gamekeeper, who was the cook's cousin, asked leave to drive home with them, and Andrew was only too glad to have someone to protect him from that trap he was so certain of.
The gamekeeper, who was the cook's cousin, asked if he could go home with them, and Andrew was more than happy to have someone to protect him from that trap he was so sure of.
When the wagonette reached their own house, between the chalk-quarry and the gravel-pit, the children were very sleepy, but they felt that they and the keeper were friends for life.
When the wagonette arrived at their house, situated between the chalk quarry and the gravel pit, the children were really tired, but they felt a lifelong friendship with the keeper.
Andrew dumped the children down at the iron gate without a word.
Andrew dropped the kids off at the metal gate without saying a word.
"You get along home," said the Vicarage cook's cousin, who was a gamekeeper. "I'll get me home on shanks' mare."
"You head on home," said the Vicarage cook's cousin, who was a gamekeeper. "I'll walk home."
So Andrew had to drive off alone, which he did not like at all, and it was the keeper that was cousin to the Vicarage cook who went with the children to the door, and, when they had been swept to bed in a whirlwind of reproaches, remained to explain to Martha and the cook and the housemaid exactly what had happened. He explained so well that Martha was quite amicable the next morning.
So Andrew had to drive off alone, which he really didn’t like, and it was the keeper, who was related to the Vicarage cook, that took the kids to the door. After the kids were sent to bed in a storm of scolding, he stayed to explain to Martha, the cook, and the housemaid exactly what had happened. He explained it so well that Martha was actually friendly the next morning.
After that he often used to come over and see[Pg 158] Martha, and in the end—but that is another story, as dear Mr. Kipling says.
After that, he would often come over to see[Pg 158] Martha, and in the end—but that's another story, as dear Mr. Kipling says.
Martha was obliged to stick to what she had said the night before about keeping the children indoors the next day for a punishment. But she wasn't at all ugly about it, and agreed to let Robert go out for half an hour to get something he particularly wanted.
Martha had to stick to what she said the night before about keeping the kids indoors the next day as a punishment. However, she wasn’t mean about it and agreed to let Robert go out for half an hour to get something he really wanted.
This, of course, was the day's wish.
This, of course, was what the day wanted.
Robert rushed to the gravel-pit, found the Psammead, and presently wished for—
Robert hurried to the gravel pit, found the Psammead, and soon wished for—
CHAPTER VI
A CASTLE AND NO DINNER
The others were to be kept in as a punishment for the misfortunes of the day before. Of course Martha thought it was naughtiness, and not misfortune—so you must not blame her. She only thought she was doing her duty. You know, grown-up people often say they do not like to punish you, and that they only do it for your own good, and that it hurts them as much as it hurts you—and this is really very often the truth.
The others were going to be kept in as a punishment for what happened the day before. Of course, Martha thought it was mischief, not misfortune—so you shouldn’t blame her. She only believed she was doing her duty. You know, adults often say they don’t like punishing you and that they only do it for your own good, and that it hurts them as much as it hurts you—and this is often very much the case.
Martha certainly hated having to punish the children quite as much as they hated to be punished. For one thing, she knew what a noise there would be in the house all day. And she had other reasons.
Martha definitely hated having to punish the kids just as much as they hated being punished. For one thing, she knew how loud it would be in the house all day. And she had other reasons.
"I declare," she said to the cook, "it seems almost a shame keeping of them indoors this lovely day; but they are that audacious, they'll [Pg 160]be walking in with their heads knocked off some of these days, if I don't put my foot down. You make them a cake for tea to-morrow, dear. And we'll have Baby along of us soon as we've got a bit forrard with our work. Then they can have a good romp with him, out of the way. Now, Eliza, come, get on with them beds. Here's ten o'clock nearly, and no rabbits caught!"
"I swear," she told the cook, "it almost feels wrong to keep them inside on such a beautiful day; but they're so bold that they'll [Pg 160] end up coming in with their heads all messed up if I don't take charge. Please bake them a cake for tea tomorrow, dear. And we'll bring Baby along as soon as we've made a little progress with our work. Then they can have a great time playing with him, out of our hair. Now, Eliza, come on, get those beds ready. It’s nearly ten o'clock, and we haven't caught any rabbits yet!"
People say that in Kent when they mean "and no work done."
People say that in Kent when they mean "and no work was done."
So all the others were kept in, but Robert, as I have said, was allowed to go out for half an hour to get something they all wanted. And that, of course, was the day's wish.
So everyone else stayed in, but Robert, as I mentioned, was allowed to go out for half an hour to get something they all wanted. And that, of course, was the day's wish.
He had no difficulty in finding the Sand-fairy, for the day was already so hot that it had actually, for the first time, come out of its own accord, and was sitting in a sort of pool of soft sand, stretching itself, and trimming its whiskers, and turning its snail's eyes round and round.
He had no trouble finding the Sand-fairy, as the day was already so hot that, for the first time, it had come out on its own and was sitting in a kind of pool of soft sand, stretching itself, grooming its whiskers, and rotating its snail-like eyes.
"Ha!" it said when its left eye saw Robert; "I've been looking for you. Where are the [Pg 161]rest of you? Not smashed themselves up with those wings, I hope?"
"Ha!" it said when its left eye spotted Robert; "I've been searching for you. Where are the [Pg 161]rest of you? I hope you haven't injured yourselves with those wings?"
"No," said Robert; "but the wings got us into a row, just like all the wishes always do. So the others are kept indoors, and I was only let out for half an hour—to get the wish. So please let me wish as quickly as I can."
"No," said Robert; "but the wings got us into trouble, just like all wishes do. So the others are stuck inside, and I was only allowed out for half an hour—to make the wish. So please let me wish as quickly as I can."
"Wish away," said the Psammead, twisting itself round in the sand. But Robert couldn't wish away. He forgot all the things he had been thinking about, and nothing would come into his head but little things for himself, like candy, a foreign stamp album, or a knife with three blades and a corkscrew. He sat down to think better of things the others would not have cared for—such as a football, or a pair of leg-guards, or to be able to lick Simpkins Minor thoroughly when he went back to school.
"Wish away," said the Psammead, curling itself into the sand. But Robert couldn't wish anything away. He forgot everything he had been thinking about, and all that came to mind were small things for himself, like candy, a foreign stamp collection, or a knife with three blades and a corkscrew. He sat down to think of things the others wouldn't have cared about—like a soccer ball, a pair of shin guards, or the chance to really get back at Simpkins Minor when he returned to school.
"Well," said the Psammead at last, "you'd better hurry up with that wish of yours. Time flies."
"Well," said the Psammead finally, "you'd better hurry up with that wish of yours. Time flies."
"I know it does," said Robert. "I can't think what to wish for. I wish you could give [Pg 162]one of the others their wish without their having to come here to ask for it. Oh, don't!"
"I know it does," said Robert. "I can't think of what to wish for. I wish you could give [Pg 162] one of the others their wish without them having to come here to ask for it. Oh, don't!"
But it was too late. The Psammead had blown itself out to about three times its proper size, and now it collapsed like a pricked bubble, and with a deep sigh leaned back against the edge of the sand-pool, quite faint with the effort.
But it was too late. The Psammead had puffed itself up to about three times its normal size, and now it deflated like a popped balloon, letting out a deep sigh as it leaned back against the edge of the sand-pool, feeling completely exhausted from the effort.
"There!" it said in a weak voice; "it was tremendously hard—but I did it. Run along home, or they're sure to wish for something silly before you get there."
"There!" it said in a weak voice; "it was really tough—but I did it. Go home now, or they're definitely going to want something ridiculous before you arrive."
They were—quite sure; Robert felt this, and as he ran home his mind was deeply occupied with the sort of wishes he might find they had wished in his absence. They might wish for rabbits, or white mice, or chocolate, or a fine day to-morrow, or even—and that was most likely—someone might have said, "I do wish to goodness Robert would hurry up." Well, he was hurrying up, and so they would have had their wish, and the day would be wasted. Then he tried to think what they could wish [Pg 163]for—something that would be amusing indoors. That had been his own difficulty from the beginning. So few things are amusing indoors when the sun is shining outside and you mayn't go out, however much you want to do so.
They were definitely sure; Robert sensed this, and as he ran home, he was preoccupied with what kind of wishes they might have made in his absence. They could wish for rabbits, or white mice, or chocolate, or a nice day tomorrow, or even—and this was most likely—someone might have said, "I really wish Robert would hurry up." Well, he *was* hurrying, so they would have gotten their wish, and the day would be wasted. Then he started to think about what they could wish for—something that would be fun indoors. That had been his challenge from the start. There are so few things that are fun indoors when the sun is shining outside and you can’t go out, no matter how much you want to.
Robert was running as fast as he could, but when he turned the corner that ought to have brought him within sight of the architect's nightmare—the ornamental iron-work on the top of the house—he opened his eyes so wide that he had to drop into a walk; for you cannot run with your eyes wide open. Then suddenly he stopped short, for there was no house to be seen. The front garden railings were gone too, and where the house had stood—Robert rubbed his eyes and looked again. Yes, the others had wished,—there was no doubt about it,—and they must have wished that they lived in a castle; for there the castle stood, black and stately, and very tall and broad, with battlements and lancet windows, and eight great towers; and, where the garden and the orchard had been, there were white things [Pg 164]dotted like mushrooms. Robert walked slowly on, and as he got nearer he saw that these were tents, and men in armor were walking about among the tents—crowds and crowds of them.
Robert was running as fast as he could, but when he turned the corner that should have brought him into view of the architect's nightmare—the decorative ironwork on top of the house—he opened his eyes so wide that he had to slow down to a walk; you can't run with your eyes wide open. Then suddenly he stopped short, because there was no house to be seen. The front garden railings were gone too, and where the house had stood—Robert rubbed his eyes and looked again. Yes, the others *had* wished—there was no doubt about it—and they must have wished to live in a castle; for there the castle stood, black and majestic, and very tall and broad, with battlements and pointed windows, and eight huge towers; and where the garden and the orchard had been, there were white shapes [Pg 164] scattered like mushrooms. Robert walked slowly on, and as he got closer, he saw that these were tents, and men in armor were walking around among the tents—lots and lots of them.
"Oh!" said Robert fervently. "They have! They've wished for a castle, and it's being besieged! It's just like that Sand-fairy! I wish we'd never seen the beastly thing!"
"Oh!" Robert exclaimed passionately. "They have! They've wished for a castle, and it's under siege! It’s just like that Sand-fairy! I wish we’d never seen that horrible thing!"
At the little window above the great gateway, across the moat that now lay where the garden had been but half an hour ago, someone was waving something pale dust-colored. Robert thought it was one of Cyril's handkerchiefs. They had never been white since the day when he had upset the bottle of "Combined Toning and Fixing Solution" into the drawer where they were. Robert waved back, and immediately felt that he had been unwise. For this signal had been seen by the besieging force, and two men in steel-caps were coming towards him. They had high brown boots on their long legs, and they came towards him with such great strides that Robert remem[Pg 165]bered the shortness of his own legs and did not run away. He knew it would be useless to himself, and he feared it might be irritating to the foe. So he stood still—and the two men seemed quite pleased with him.
At the small window above the big entrance, across the moat that was now where the garden had been just half an hour ago, someone was waving something pale and dusty. Robert thought it was one of Cyril's handkerchiefs. They hadn't been white since the day he spilled the bottle of "Combined Toning and Fixing Solution" into the drawer where they were kept. Robert waved back and immediately felt it was a mistake. The signal had been noticed by the attacking force, and two men in steel helmets were walking towards him. They wore tall brown boots on their long legs, and they approached with such large strides that Robert remembered how short his own legs were and didn’t run away. He knew it would be pointless for him to run, and he feared it might annoy the enemies. So he stood still—and the two men seemed quite pleased with him.
"By my halidom," said one, "a brave varlet this!"
"By my holy word," said one, "what a brave guy this is!"
Robert felt pleased at being called brave, and somehow it made him feel brave. He passed over the "varlet." It was the way people talked in historical romances for the young, he knew, and it was evidently not meant for rudeness. He only hoped he would be able to understand what they said to him. He had not been always able quite to follow the conversations in the historical romances for the young.
Robert felt happy about being called brave, and somehow it made him feel brave. He brushed off the "varlet." He understood it was just how people talked in young adult historical romances, and it clearly wasn't meant to be rude. He just hoped he would be able to understand what they said to him. He hadn't always been able to fully follow the conversations in those historical romances.
"His garb is strange," said the other. "Some outlandish treachery, belike."
"His clothes are weird," said the other. "Probably some bizarre trickery."
"Say, lad, what brings thee hither?"
"Hey, kid, what brings you here?"
Robert knew this meant, "Now then, youngster, what are you up to here, eh?"—so he said—
Robert knew this meant, "Alright, kid, what are you doing here, huh?"—so he said—
"Go, then!" said the man in the longest boots; "none hindereth, and nought lets us to follow. Zooks!" he added in a cautious undertone, "I misdoubt me but he beareth tidings to the besieged."
"Go ahead!" said the man in the tallest boots; "nothing's stopping us from following. Wow!" he added in a cautious whisper, "I'm worried he might be bringing news to the people under siege."
"Where dwellest thou, young knave?" inquired the man with the largest steel-cap.
"Where do you live, young rascal?" asked the man with the biggest steel helmet.
"Over there," said Robert; and directly he had said it he knew he ought to have said "Yonder!"
"Over there," said Robert; and as soon as he said it, he realized he should have said "Yonder!"
"Ha—sayest so?" rejoined the longest boots. "Come hither, boy. This is matter for our leader."
"Ha—did you say that?" replied the guy in the longest boots. "Come here, kid. This is something for our leader."
And to the leader Robert was dragged forthwith—by the reluctant ear.
And the leader was immediately brought to Robert—by the unwilling ear.
The leader was the most glorious creature Robert had ever seen. He was exactly like the pictures Robert had so often admired in the historical romances. He had armor, and a helmet, and a horse, and a crest, and feathers, and a shield and a lance and a sword. His armor and his weapons were all, I am almost sure, of quite different periods. The shield was thirteenth century, while the sword was [Pg 167]of the pattern used in the Peninsular War. The cuirass was of the time of Charles I., and the helmet dated from the Second Crusade. The arms on the shield were very grand—three red running lions on a blue ground. The tents were of the latest brand approved of by our modern War Office, and the whole appearance of camp, army, and leader might have been a shock to some. But Robert was dumb with admiration, and it all seemed to him perfectly correct, because he knew no more of heraldry or archæology than the gifted artists who usually drew the pictures for the historical romances. The scene was indeed "exactly like a picture." He admired it all so much that he felt braver than ever.
The leader was the most amazing person Robert had ever seen. He looked just like the pictures Robert had often admired in historical romance novels. He had armor, a helmet, a horse, a crest, feathers, a shield, a lance, and a sword. His armor and weapons were definitely from different time periods. The shield was from the thirteenth century, while the sword was from [Pg 167] used in the Peninsular War. The cuirass was from the time of Charles I, and the helmet was from the Second Crusade. The heraldry on the shield was impressive—three red running lions on a blue background. The tents were the latest models approved by our modern War Office, and the whole look of the camp, army, and leader might have surprised some people. But Robert was speechless with admiration, and everything seemed perfectly right to him because he didn’t know any more about heraldry or archaeology than the talented artists who usually illustrated historical romances. The scene was indeed "exactly like a picture." He admired it all so much that he felt braver than ever.
"Come hither, lad," said the glorious leader, when the men in Cromwellian steel-caps had said a few low eager words. And he took off his helmet, because he could not see properly with it on. He had a kind face, and long fair hair. "Have no fear; thou shalt take no scathe," he said.
"Come here, kid," said the glorious leader, after the men in Cromwellian steel caps exchanged a few quiet, eager words. He took off his helmet because he couldn't see well with it on. He had a kind face and long blonde hair. "Don't worry; you won't get hurt," he said.
Robert was glad of that. He wondered [Pg 168]what "scathe" was, and if it was nastier than the medicine which he had to take sometimes.
Robert was glad about that. He wondered [Pg 168]what "scathe" meant, and if it was worse than the medicine he sometimes had to take.
"Unfold thy tale without alarm," said the leader kindly. "Whence comest thou, and what is thine intent?"
"Tell us your story without fear," said the leader kindly. "Where do you come from, and what is your goal?"
"My what?" said Robert.
"My what?" Robert asked.
"What seekest thou to accomplish? What is thine errand, that thou wanderest here alone among these rough men-at-arms? Poor child, thy mother's heart aches for thee e'en now, I'll warrant me."
"What are you trying to achieve? What brings you here alone among these tough soldiers? Poor child, I’m sure your mother is worried about you right now."
"I don't think so," said Robert; "you see, she doesn't know I'm out."
"I don't think so," Robert said; "you see, she doesn't know I'm gone."
The leader wiped away a manly tear, exactly as a leader in a historical romance would have done, and said—
The leader wiped away a tear like a hero in a historical romance would have and said—
"Fear not to speak the truth, my child; thou hast nought to fear from Wulfric de Talbot."
"Don't be afraid to speak the truth, my child; you have nothing to fear from Wulfric de Talbot."
Robert had a wild feeling that this glorious leader of the besieging party—being himself part of a wish—would be able to understand better than Martha, or the gipsies, or the [Pg 169]policeman in Rochester, or the clergyman of yesterday, the true tale of the wishes and the Psammead. The only difficulty was that he knew he could never remember enough "quothas" and "beshrew me's," and things like that, to make his talk sound like the talk of a boy in a historical romance. However, he began boldly enough, with a sentence straight out of Ralph de Courcy; or, The Boy Crusader. He said—
Robert had a strong feeling that this amazing leader of the attacking group—being part of a wish himself—would understand the true story of the wishes and the Psammead better than Martha, the gypsies, the [Pg 169]policeman in Rochester, or the clergyman from yesterday. The only problem was that he knew he could never remember enough phrases like "quothas" and "beshrew me's," and other things like that, to make his speech sound like that of a boy in a historical novel. Still, he started off confidently with a sentence straight from Ralph de Courcy; or, The Boy Crusader. He said—
"Grammercy for thy courtesy, fair sir knight. The fact is, it's like this—and I hope you're not in a hurry, because the story's rather a breather. Father and mother are away, and when we went down playing in the sand-pits we found a Psammead."
"Thanks for your kindness, good sir knight. Here's the thing—and I hope you’re not in a rush, because the story takes a bit of time. Mom and dad are away, and when we went down to play in the sandpits, we found a Psammead."
"I cry thee mercy! A Sammyadd?" said the knight.
"I beg your pardon! A Sammyadd?" said the knight.
"Yes, a sort of—of fairy, or enchanter—yes, that's it, an enchanter; and he said we could have a wish every day, and we wished first to be beautiful."
"Yes, a kind of fairy, or enchanter—yeah, that's it, an enchanter; and he said we could make a wish every day, and our first wish was to be beautiful."
"Thy wish was scarce granted," muttered one of the men-at-arms, looking at Robert, [Pg 170]who went on as if he had not heard, though he thought the remark very rude indeed.
"Your wish was barely granted," muttered one of the guards, looking at Robert, [Pg 170] who continued on as if he hadn’t heard, even though he found the comment very rude.
"And then we wished for money—treasure, you know; but we couldn't spend it. And yesterday we wished for wings, and we got them, and we had a ripping time to begin with"—
"And then we wished for money—treasure, you know; but we couldn't spend it. And yesterday we wished for wings, and we got them, and we had an amazing time to start with"—
"Thy speech is strange and uncouth," said Sir Wulfric de Talbot. "Repeat thy words—what hadst thou?"
"Your speech is strange and awkward," said Sir Wulfric de Talbot. "Repeat your words—what did you say?"
"A ripping—I mean a jolly—no—we were contented with our lot—that's what I mean; only, after we got into an awful fix."
"A great time—I mean a fun one—no—we were happy with what we had—that's what I mean; it’s just that later we got into a really bad situation."
"What is a fix? A fray, mayhap?"
"What is a fix? A mess, perhaps?"
"No—not a fray. A—a—a tight place."
"No—not a fight. A—a—a tough spot."
"A dungeon? Alas for thy youthful fettered limbs!" said the knight, with polite sympathy.
"A dungeon? Oh, how sad for your young, restricted limbs!" said the knight, with polite sympathy.
"It wasn't a dungeon. We just—just encountered undeserved misfortunes," Robert explained, "and to-day we are punished by not being allowed to go out. That's where I live,"—he pointed to the castle. "The others are in there, and they're not allowed to go out. It's [Pg 171]all the Psammead's—I mean the enchanter's fault. I wish we'd never seen him."
"It wasn't a dungeon. We just faced some undeserved bad luck," Robert explained, "and today we're stuck inside as punishment. That's where I live," he pointed to the castle. "The others are in there too, and they're not allowed to go out. It's [Pg 171] all the Psammead's—I mean the enchanter's fault. I wish we had never met him."
"He is an enchanter of might?"
"Is he a powerful sorcerer?"
"Oh yes—of might and main. Rather!"
"Oh yes—with all my strength. Absolutely!"
"And thou deemest that it is the spells of the enchanter whom thou hast angered that have lent strength to the besieging party," said the gallant leader; "but know thou that Wulfric de Talbot needs no enchanter's aid to lead his followers to victory."
"And you think it's the spells of the enchanter you’ve angered that have given strength to the attacking party," said the brave leader; "but know that Wulfric de Talbot needs no enchanter's help to lead his followers to victory."
"No, I'm sure you don't," said Robert, with hasty courtesy; "of course not—you wouldn't, you know. But, all the same, it's partly his fault, but we're most to blame. You couldn't have done anything if it hadn't been for us."
"No, I'm sure you don't," said Robert, with quick politeness; "of course not—you wouldn’t, you know. But still, it’s partly his fault, though we’re mostly to blame. You wouldn’t have been able to do anything if it hadn’t been for us."
"How now, bold boy?" asked Sir Wulfric haughtily. "Thy speech is dark, and eke scarce courteous. Unravel me this riddle!"
"What's up, brave boy?" asked Sir Wulfric arrogantly. "Your words are unclear and barely polite. Solve this riddle for me!"
"Oh," said Robert desperately, "of course you don't know it, but you're not real at all. You're only here because the others must have been idiots enough to wish for a castle—and when the sun sets you'll just vanish away, and it'll be all right."[Pg 172]
"Oh," Robert said desperately, "you obviously have no idea, but you're not real at all. You're only here because the others must have been foolish enough to wish for a castle—and when the sun sets, you'll just disappear, and everything will be fine."[Pg 172]
The captain and the men-at-arms exchanged glances at first pitying, and then sterner, as the longest-booted man said, "Beware, my noble lord; the urchin doth but feign madness to escape from our clutches. Shall we not bind him?"
The captain and the soldiers exchanged looks that were initially sympathetic and then more serious as the man in the longest boots said, "Watch out, my noble lord; the kid is just pretending to be crazy to get away from us. Shouldn't we tie him up?"
"I'm no more mad than you are," said Robert angrily, "perhaps not so much—Only, I was an idiot to think you'd understand anything. Let me go—I haven't done anything to you."
"I'm not any crazier than you are," Robert said angrily, "maybe not even as much—It's just that I was a fool to think you'd get it. Let me go—I haven't done anything to you."
"Whither?" asked the knight, who seemed to have believed all the enchanter story till it came to his own share in it. "Whither wouldst thou wend?"
"Where to?" asked the knight, who had seemed to believe the whole enchanter story until it involved him. "Where would you go?"
"Home, of course." Robert pointed to the castle.
"Home, obviously." Robert pointed to the castle.
"To carry news of succor? Nay!"
"To bring news of help? No way!"
"All right, then," said Robert, struck by a sudden idea; "then let me go somewhere else." His mind sought eagerly among the memories of the historical romance.
"Okay, then," said Robert, hit by a sudden idea; "let me go somewhere else." His mind eagerly searched through the memories of the historical romance.
"Sir Wulfric de Talbot," he said slowly, "should think foul scorn to—to keep a chap—[Pg 173]I mean one who has done him no hurt—when he wants to cut off quietly—I mean to depart without violence."
"Sir Wulfric de Talbot," he said slowly, "should think it disgraceful to—to keep a guy—[Pg 173]I mean someone who hasn’t harmed him—when he wants to leave quietly—I mean to go without any violence."
"This to my face! Beshrew thee for a knave!" replied Sir Wulfric. But the appeal seemed to have gone home. "Yet thou sayest sooth," he added thoughtfully. "Go where thou wilt," he added nobly, "thou art free. Wulfric de Talbot warreth not with babes, and Jakin here shall bear thee company."
"This to my face! Curse you for a fool!" replied Sir Wulfric. But the appeal seemed to have struck a chord. "Yet you speak the truth," he added thoughtfully. "Go where you want," he said nobly, "you are free. Wulfric de Talbot does not fight with children, and Jakin here will keep you company."
"All right," said Robert wildly. "Jakin will enjoy himself, I think. Come on, Jakin. Sir Wulfric, I salute thee."
"All right," said Robert excitedly. "I think Jakin is going to have a great time. Let's go, Jakin. Sir Wulfric, I salute you."
He saluted after the modern military manner, and set off running to the sand-pit, Jakin's long boots keeping up easily.
He saluted in a modern military style and took off running to the sandpit, Jakin's long boots keeping pace effortlessly.
He found the Fairy. He dug it up, he woke it up, he implored it to give him one more wish.
He found the Fairy. He dug it up, woke it up, and begged it for one more wish.
"I've done two to-day already," it grumbled, "and one was as stiff a bit of work as ever I did."
"I've done two today already," it complained, "and one was the toughest piece of work I've ever done."
"Oh, do, do, do, do, do!" said Robert, while Jakin looked on with an expression of open-[Pg 174]mouthed horror at the strange beast that talked, and gazed with its snail's eyes at him.
"Oh, please, please, please, please!" said Robert, while Jakin watched with a look of shock at the strange creature that was talking and stared at him with its snail-like eyes.
"Well, what is it?" snapped the Psammead, with cross sleepiness.
"Well, what is it?" snapped the Psammead, sounding grumpy and tired.
"I wish I was with the others," said Robert. And the Psammead began to swell. Robert never thought of wishing the castle and the siege away. Of course he knew they had all come out of a wish, but swords and daggers and pikes and lances seemed much too real to be wished away. Robert lost consciousness for an instant. When he opened his eyes the others were crowding round him.
"I wish I was with the others," said Robert. Then the Psammead started to swell. Robert didn’t think about wishing the castle and the siege away. He knew they had all come from a wish, but swords, daggers, pikes, and lances felt way too real to wish away. Robert lost consciousness for a moment. When he opened his eyes, the others were gathered around him.
"We never heard you come in," they said. "How awfully jolly of you to wish it to give us our wish!"
"We didn't hear you come in," they said. "How incredibly nice of you to wish it would grant us our wish!"
"Of course we understood that was what you'd done."
"Of course, we got that that's what you did."
"But you ought to have told us. Suppose we'd wished something silly."
"But you should have told us. What if we wanted something silly?"
"Silly?" said Robert, very crossly indeed. "How much sillier could you have been, I'd like to know? You nearly settled me—I can tell you."[Pg 175]
"Silly?" Robert said, quite angrily. "How much sillier could you have been, seriously? You almost got me into trouble—I can tell you." [Pg 175]
Then he told his story, and the others admitted that it certainly had been rough on him. But they praised his courage and cleverness so much that he presently got back his lost temper, and felt braver than ever, and consented to be captain of the besieged force.
Then he shared his story, and the others agreed that it had been tough on him. But they praised his bravery and intelligence so much that he soon regained his lost temper, felt braver than ever, and agreed to be the captain of the besieged group.
"We haven't done anything yet," said Anthea comfortably; "we waited for you. We're going to shoot at them through these little loopholes with the bow and arrows uncle gave you, and you shall have first shot."
"We haven't done anything yet," Anthea said casually. "We waited for you. We're going to shoot at them through these little openings with the bow and arrows uncle gave you, and you get the first shot."
"I don't think I would," said Robert cautiously; "you don't know what they're like near to. They've got real bows and arrows—an awful length—and swords and pikes and daggers, and all sorts of sharp things. They're all quite, quite real. It's not just a—a picture, or a vision or anything; they can hurt us—or kill us even, I shouldn't wonder. I can feel my ear all sore yet. Look here—have you explored the castle? Because I think we'd better let them alone as long as they let us alone. I heard that Jakin man say they weren't [Pg 176]going to attack till just before sundown. We can be getting ready for the attack. Are there any soldiers in the castle to defend it?"
"I don't think I would," Robert said cautiously. "You have no idea what they're really like up close. They've got real bows and arrows—an awful length—and swords, pikes, daggers, and all kinds of sharp stuff. It's all completely real. It's not just a picture or a vision or anything; they can hurt us—or even kill us, I wouldn't be surprised. I can still feel my ear throbbing. By the way, have you checked out the castle? I think we should leave them alone as long as they leave us alone. I heard that guy Jakin say they weren't going to attack until just before sundown. We can get ready for the attack then. Are there any soldiers in the castle to defend it?"
"We don't know," said Cyril. "You see, directly I'd wished we were in a besieged castle, everything seemed to go upside down, and when it came straight we looked out of the window, and saw the camp and things and you—and of course we kept on looking at everything. Isn't this room jolly? It's as real as real!"
"We don’t know,” Cyril said. “You see, I wished we were in a besieged castle, everything felt like it was turned upside down, and when it finally settled, we looked out of the window and saw the camp and everything—and you—and of course, we kept looking at everything. Isn’t this room great? It feels as real as it gets!"
It was. It was square, with stone walls four feet thick, and great beams for ceiling. A low door at the corner led to a flight of steps, up and down. The children went down; they found themselves in a great arched gate-house—the enormous doors were shut and barred. There was a window in a little room at the bottom of the round turret up which the stair wound, rather larger than the other windows, and looking through it they saw that the drawbridge was up and the portcullis down; the moat looked very wide and deep. Opposite the great door that led to the moat was another [Pg 177]great door, with a little door in it. The children went through this, and found themselves in a big courtyard, with the great grey walls of the castle rising dark and heavy on all four sides.
It was. It was square, with stone walls four feet thick and large beams for the ceiling. A low door in the corner led to a staircase, going both up and down. The children went down; they found themselves in a large arched gatehouse—the massive doors were closed and barred. There was a window in a small room at the bottom of the round turret that the stairs wrapped around, slightly larger than the other windows, and looking through it, they could see that the drawbridge was up and the portcullis was down; the moat appeared very wide and deep. Across from the big door leading to the moat was another [Pg 177]large door, with a small door in it. The children went through this and ended up in a big courtyard, with the massive grey walls of the castle towering dark and heavy on all four sides.
Near the middle of the courtyard stood Martha, moving her right hand backwards and forwards in the air. The cook was stooping down and moving her hands, also in a very curious way. But the oddest and at the same time most terrible thing was the Lamb, who was sitting on nothing, about three feet from the ground, laughing happily.
Near the middle of the courtyard stood Martha, waving her right hand back and forth in the air. The cook was bent over, moving her hands in a very unusual way. But the strangest and most frightening thing was the Lamb, who was sitting in mid-air, about three feet off the ground, laughing joyfully.
The children ran towards him. Just as Anthea was reaching out her arms to take him, Martha said crossly, "Let him alone—do, miss, when he is good."
The children ran toward him. Just as Anthea was stretching out her arms to take him, Martha said irritably, "Leave him alone—please, miss, when he is good."
"But what's he doing?" said Anthea.
"But what's he up to?" said Anthea.
"Doing? Why, a-setting in his high chair as good as gold, a precious, watching me doing of the ironing. Get along with you, do—my iron's cold again."
"Doing? Oh, he's sitting in his high chair like a little angel, just watching me iron. Come on now, my iron has cooled down again."
She went towards the cook, and seemed to poke an invisible fire with an unseen poker—[Pg 178]the cook seemed to be putting an unseen dish into an invisible oven.
She walked over to the cook and appeared to stir an invisible fire with an unseen poker—[Pg 178]the cook looked like he was putting an unseen dish into an invisible oven.
"Run along with you, do," she said; "I'm behindhand as it is. You won't get no dinner if you come a-hindering of me like this. Come, off you goes, or I'll pin a discloth to some of your tails."
"Go on ahead," she said; "I'm already running late. You won't get any dinner if you keep holding me up like this. Come on, off you go, or I'll pin a dishcloth to one of your tails."
"You're sure the Lamb's all right?" asked Jane anxiously.
"Are you sure the Lamb is okay?" Jane asked, worried.
"Right as ninepence, if you don't come unsettling of him. I thought you'd like to be rid of him for to-day; but take him, if you want him, for gracious' sake."
"Right on the money, if you don’t go messing with him. I thought you’d want a break from him for today; but take him if you really want to, for heaven’s sake."
"No, no," they said, and hastened away. They would have to defend the castle presently, and the Lamb was safer even suspended in mid air in an invisible kitchen than in the guard-room of the besieged castle. They went through the first doorway they came to, and sat down helplessly on a wooden bench that ran along the room inside.
"No, no," they said and quickly left. They would soon need to defend the castle, and the Lamb was safer even just hanging in mid-air in an invisible kitchen than in the guardroom of the besieged fortress. They went through the first door they found and sat down helplessly on a wooden bench that lined the room inside.
"How awful!" said Anthea and Jane together; and Jane added, "I feel as if I was in a lunatic asylum."[Pg 179]
"How awful!" Anthea and Jane said at the same time; and Jane added, "I feel like I'm in a crazy house."[Pg 179]
"What does it mean?" Anthea said. "It's creepy; I don't like it. I wish we'd wished for something plain—a rocking-horse, or a donkey, or something."
"What does it mean?" Anthea said. "It's weird; I don't like it. I wish we had wished for something simple—a rocking horse, or a donkey, or something."
"It's no use wishing now," said Robert bitterly; and Cyril said—
"It's pointless to wish now," Robert said bitterly; and Cyril replied—
"Do be quiet; I want to think."
"Please be quiet; I need to think."
He buried his face in his hands, and the others looked about them. They were in a long room with an arched roof. There were wooden tables along it, and one across at the end of the room, on a sort of raised platform. The room was very dim and dark. The floor was strewn with dry things like sticks, and they did not smell nice.
He buried his face in his hands, and the others looked around. They were in a long room with an arched ceiling. There were wooden tables lined up along the sides, and one at the end of the room on a raised platform. The room was very dim and dark. The floor was scattered with dry items like sticks, and they didn’t smell good.
Cyril sat up suddenly and said—
Cyril sat up abruptly and said—
"Look here—it's all right. I think it's like this. You know, we wished that the servants shouldn't notice any difference when we got wishes. And nothing happens to the Lamb unless we specially wish it to. So of course they don't notice the castle or anything. But then the castle is on the same place where our house was—is, I mean—and the servants have [Pg 180]to go on being in the house, or else they would notice. But you can't have a castle mixed up with our house—and so we can't see the house, because we see the castle; and they can't see the castle, because they go on seeing the house; and so"—
"Look, it's all good. I think it's like this. You know, we wanted the servants to not notice any difference when we made our wishes. And nothing happens to the Lamb unless we specifically wish for it. So of course, they don't see the castle or anything. But the castle is right where our house used to be—well, it still is—and the servants have [Pg 180] to stay in the house, or else they would notice. But you can't have a castle mixed up with our house—so we can't see the house because we're looking at the castle; and they can't see the castle because they're still seeing the house; and so"—
"Oh, don't," said Jane; "you make my head go all swimmy, like being on a roundabout. It doesn't matter! Only, I hope we shall be able to see our dinner, that's all—because if it's invisible it'll be unfeelable as well, and then we can't eat it! I know it will, because I tried to feel if I could feel the Lamb's chair and there was nothing under him at all but air. And we can't eat air, and I feel just as if I hadn't had any breakfast for years and years."
"Oh, don't," said Jane; "you make my head spin, like being on a merry-go-round. It doesn’t matter! I just hope we can see our dinner, that’s all—because if it's invisible, we can't feel it either, and then we can't eat it! I know it will be, because I tried to see if I could feel the Lamb's chair and there was nothing under him at all but air. And we can't eat air, and I feel like I haven't had breakfast in years and years."
"It's no use thinking about it," said Anthea. "Let's go on exploring. Perhaps we might find something to eat."
"It's pointless to think about it," Anthea said. "Let's keep exploring. Maybe we’ll find something to eat."
This lighted hope in every breast, and they went on exploring the castle. But though it was the most perfect and delightful castle you can possibly imagine, and furnished in the [Pg 181]most complete and beautiful manner, neither food nor men-at-arms were to be found in it.
This glimmer of hope in everyone’s heart kept them exploring the castle. But even though it was the most amazing and beautiful castle you could possibly imagine, furnished in the [Pg 181]most complete and beautiful way, there was no food or soldiers to be found inside.
"If you'd only thought of wishing to be besieged in a castle thoroughly garrisoned and provisioned!" said Jane reproachfully.
"If you had just thought about wanting to be trapped in a well-protected and stocked castle!" Jane said, sounding disappointed.
"You can't think of everything, you know," said Anthea. "I should think it must be nearly dinner-time by now."
"You can't think of everything, you know," Anthea said. "I bet it's almost dinner time now."
It wasn't; but they hung about watching the strange movements of the servants in the middle of the courtyard, because, of course, they couldn't be sure where the dining-room of the invisible house was. Presently they saw Martha carrying an invisible tray across the courtyard, for it seemed that, by the most fortunate accident, the dining-room of the house and the banqueting-hall of the castle were in the same place. But oh, how their hearts sank when they perceived that the tray was invisible!
It wasn't; but they lingered, observing the unusual actions of the servants in the courtyard, because they couldn't be certain where the dining room of the invisible house was. Soon, they noticed Martha carrying an invisible tray across the courtyard, as it turned out that, by some fortunate coincidence, the dining room of the house and the banquet hall of the castle were located in the same spot. But oh, how their hearts dropped when they realized the tray was invisible!
They waited in wretched silence while Martha went through the form of carving an unseen leg of mutton and serving invisible greens and potatoes with a spoon that no one could see. When she had left the room, the [Pg 182]children looked at the empty table, and then at each other.
They waited in uncomfortable silence while Martha pretended to carve an invisible leg of mutton and serve unseen greens and potatoes with a spoon that nobody could see. After she left the room, the [Pg 182]children glanced at the empty table, then at each other.
"This is worse than anything," said Robert, who had not till now been particularly keen on his dinner.
"This is worse than anything," said Robert, who hadn’t been very interested in his dinner until now.
"I'm not so very hungry," said Anthea, trying to make the best of things, as usual.
"I'm not that hungry," said Anthea, trying to make the best of things, as always.
Cyril tightened his belt ostentatiously. Jane burst into tears.[Pg 183]
Cyril tightened his belt dramatically. Jane started crying. [Pg 183]
CHAPTER VII
A SIEGE AND BED
The children were sitting in the gloomy banqueting-hall, at the end of one of the long bare wooden tables. There was now no hope. Martha had brought in the dinner, and the dinner was invisible, and unfeelable too; for, when they rubbed their hands along the table, they knew but too well that for them there was nothing there but table.
The kids were sitting in the dark banquet hall, at the end of one of the long, bare wooden tables. There was now no hope. Martha had brought in dinner, but it was nowhere to be seen or felt; when they ran their hands along the table, they realized all too well that there was nothing there but the table.
Suddenly Cyril felt in his pocket.
Suddenly, Cyril reached into his pocket.
"Right, oh!" he cried. "Look here! Biscuits."
"Right, oh!" he exclaimed. "Check this out! Biscuits."
Somewhat broken and crumbled, certainly, but still biscuits. Three whole ones, and a generous handful of crumbs and fragments.
Somewhat broken and crumbled, for sure, but still cookies. Three whole ones, and a good handful of crumbs and bits.
"I got them this morning—cook—and I'd quite forgotten," he explained as he divided them with scrupulous fairness into four heaps.[Pg 184]
"I got them this morning—cook—and I had completely forgotten," he explained as he carefully divided them into four piles with great fairness.[Pg 184]
They were eaten in a happy silence, though they had an odd taste, because they had been in Cyril's pocket all the morning with a hank of tarred twine, some green fir-cones, and a ball of cobbler's wax.
They ate them in a happy silence, even though they had a strange taste because they had been in Cyril's pocket all morning alongside a piece of tarred twine, some green fir cones, and a ball of cobbler's wax.
"Yes, but look here, Squirrel," said Robert; "you're so clever at explaining about invisibleness and all that. How is it the biscuits are here, and all the bread and meat and things have disappeared?"
"Yeah, but listen, Squirrel," said Robert, "you're so good at explaining invisibility and all that. How come the biscuits are here, but all the bread and meat and stuff have disappeared?"
"I don't know," said Cyril after a pause, "unless it's because we had them. Nothing about us has changed. Everything's in my pocket all right."
"I don't know," said Cyril after a pause, "unless it's because we had them. Nothing about us has changed. Everything's in my pocket just fine."
"Then if we had the mutton it would be real," said Robert. "Oh, don't I wish we could find it!"
"Then if we had the mutton, it would be real," said Robert. "Oh, I really wish we could find it!"
"But we can't find it. I suppose it isn't ours till we've got it in our mouths."
"But we can't find it. I guess it isn't ours until we have it in our mouths."
"Or in our pockets," said Jane, thinking of the biscuits.
"Or in our pockets," Jane said, thinking about the cookies.
"Who puts mutton in their pockets, goose-girl?" said Cyril. "But I know—at any rate, I'll try it!"[Pg 185]
"Who carries mutton in their pockets, goose-girl?" Cyril asked. "But I know—at least, I’ll give it a shot!"[Pg 185]
He leaned over the table with his face about an inch from it, and kept opening and shutting his mouth as if he were taking bites out of air.
He leaned over the table, his face just an inch away, and kept opening and closing his mouth like he was taking bites out of the air.
"It's no good," said Robert in deep dejection. "You'll only—— Hullo!"
"It's no use," said Robert in deep disappointment. "You'll just—— Hey!"
Cyril stood up with a grin of triumph, holding a square piece of bread in his mouth. It was quite real. Everyone saw it. It is true that, directly he bit a piece off, the rest vanished; but it was all right, because he knew he had it in his hand though he could neither see nor feel it. He took another bite from the air between his fingers, and it turned into bread as he bit. The next moment all the others were following his example, and opening and shutting their mouths an inch or so from the bare-looking table. Robert captured a slice of mutton, and—but I think I will draw a veil over the rest of this painful scene. It is enough to say that they all had enough mutton, and that when Martha came to change the plates she said she had never seen such a mess in all her born days.
Cyril stood up with a triumphant grin, holding a square piece of bread in his mouth. It was definitely real. Everyone saw it. True, as soon as he took a bite, the rest disappeared; but that was okay because he knew he had it in his hand even though he couldn't see or feel it. He took another bite from the air between his fingers, and it transformed into bread as he bit down. Before long, everyone else was following his lead, opening and closing their mouths just an inch or so away from the bare table. Robert snagged a slice of mutton, and—let's just say, it's best not to dwell on the rest of this messy situation. It's enough to say they all had plenty of mutton, and when Martha came to clear the plates, she said she had never seen such a mess in all her life.
The pudding was, fortunately, a plain suet [Pg 186]one, and in answer to Martha's questions the children all with one accord said that they would not have molasses on it—nor jam, nor sugar—"Just plain, please," they said. Martha said, "Well, I never—what next, I wonder!" and went away.
The pudding was, thankfully, a plain suet [Pg 186] one, and when Martha asked, the kids all agreed that they wouldn’t want any molasses on it—nor jam, nor sugar—"Just plain, please," they said. Martha replied, "Well, I never—what's next, I wonder!" and walked away.
Then ensued another scene on which I will not dwell, for nobody looks nice picking up slices of suet pudding from the table in its mouth, like a dog.
Then there was another scene that I won’t go into, because nobody looks good trying to pick up pieces of suet pudding from the table with their mouth, like a dog.
The great thing, after all, was that they had had dinner; and now everyone felt more courage to prepare for the attack that was to be delivered before sunset. Robert, as captain, insisted on climbing to the top of one of the towers to reconnoitre, so up they all went. And now they could see all round the castle, and could see, too, that beyond the moat, on every side, tents of the besieging party were pitched. Rather uncomfortable shivers ran down the children's backs as they saw that all the men were very busy cleaning or sharpening their arms, re-stringing their bows, and polishing their shields. A large party came along [Pg 187]the road, with horses dragging along the great trunk of a tree; and Cyril felt quite pale, because he knew this was for a battering-ram.
The great thing, after all, was that they had dinner; and now everyone felt braver to get ready for the attack that was supposed to happen before sunset. Robert, as captain, insisted on climbing to the top of one of the towers to scout, so up they all went. Now they could see all around the castle and noticed that beyond the moat, on every side, there were tents of the besieging party set up. A shiver of discomfort ran down the children's backs as they saw all the men busy cleaning or sharpening their weapons, re-stringing their bows, and polishing their shields. A large group came down the road, with horses dragging along a huge tree trunk; and Cyril felt a bit pale because he knew this was for a battering ram.
"What a good thing we've got a moat," he said; "and what a good thing the drawbridge is up—I should never have known how to work it."
"What a great thing we have a moat," he said; "and how nice that the drawbridge is up—I would have had no idea how to operate it."
"Of course it would be up in a besieged castle."
"Of course it would be in a besieged castle."
"You'd think there ought to have been soldiers in it, wouldn't you?" said Robert.
"You'd think there should have been soldiers in it, right?" said Robert.
"You see you don't know how long it's been besieged," said Cyril darkly; "perhaps most of the brave defenders were killed early in the siege and all the provisions eaten, and now there are only a few intrepid survivors,—that's us, and we are going to defend it to the death."
"You see, you don’t realize how long it’s been under siege," Cyril said grimly; "maybe most of the brave defenders were killed off early in the siege and all the supplies were consumed, and now there are just a few daring survivors—that’s us, and we’re going to defend it to the end."
"How do you begin—defending to the death, I mean?" asked Anthea.
"How do you start—like, defending to the death, I mean?" asked Anthea.
"We ought to be heavily armed—and then shoot at them when they advance to the attack."
"We should be well-armed—and then fire at them when they come to attack."
"They used to pour boiling lead down on besiegers when they got too close," said An[Pg 188]thea. "Father showed me the holes on purpose for pouring it down through at Bodiam Castle. And there are holes like it in the gate-tower here."
"They used to pour boiling lead on attackers when they got too close," said An[Pg 188]thea. "Dad showed me the openings specifically for pouring it down at Bodiam Castle. And there are similar openings in the gate-tower here."
"I think I'm glad it's only a game; it is only a game, isn't it?" said Jane.
"I think I'm glad it's just a game; it is just a game, right?" said Jane.
But no one answered.
But no one replied.
The children found plenty of strange weapons in the castle, and if they were armed at all it was soon plain that they would be, as Cyril said, "armed heavily"—for these swords and lances and crossbows were far too weighty even for Cyril's manly strength; and as for the longbows, none of the children could even begin to bend them. The daggers were better; but Jane hoped that the besiegers would not come close enough for daggers to be of any use.
The kids discovered a lot of strange weapons in the castle, and if they were armed at all, it quickly became clear that they would be, as Cyril put it, "armed to the teeth"—because these swords, lances, and crossbows were way too heavy even for Cyril's strong build; and as for the longbows, none of the kids could even start to bend them. The daggers were a better option; but Jane hoped the attackers wouldn't get close enough for daggers to be needed.
"Never mind, we can hurl them like javelins," said Cyril, "or drop them on people's heads. I say—there are lots of stones on the other side of the courtyard. If we took some of those up? Just to drop on their heads if they were to try swimming the moat."[Pg 189]
"Forget it, we can throw them like javelins," said Cyril, "or drop them on people's heads. I mean—there are plenty of stones on the other side of the courtyard. What if we grabbed a few? Just to drop on their heads if they try swimming the moat."[Pg 189]
So a heap of stones grew apace, up in the room above the gate; and another heap, a shiny spiky dangerous-looking heap, of daggers and knives.
So a pile of stones quickly grew in the room above the gate; and another pile, a shiny, spiky, dangerous-looking pile of daggers and knives.
As Anthea was crossing the courtyard for more stones, a sudden and valuable idea came to her.
As Anthea was walking across the courtyard to get more stones, a sudden and brilliant idea struck her.
She went to Martha and said, "May we have just biscuits for tea? We're going to play at besieged castles, and we'd like the biscuits to provision the garrison. Put mine in my pocket, please, my hands are so dirty. And I'll tell the others to fetch theirs."
She went to Martha and said, "Can we just have biscuits for tea? We're going to play at besieged castles, and we'd like the biscuits to feed the garrison. Please put mine in my pocket, my hands are so dirty. And I'll tell the others to get theirs."
This was indeed a happy thought, for now with four generous handfuls of air, which turned to biscuits as Martha crammed it into their pockets, the garrison was well provisioned till sundown.
This was definitely a cheerful thought, because now, with four generous handfuls of air that turned into biscuits as Martha stuffed them into their pockets, the garrison was well-stocked until sundown.
They brought up some iron pots of cold water to pour on the besiegers instead of hot lead, with which the castle did not seem to be provided.
They brought up some iron pots of cold water to pour on the attackers instead of hot lead, which the castle didn’t seem to have.
The afternoon passed with wonderful quickness. It was very exciting; but none of them, [Pg 190]except Robert, could feel all the time that this was real deadly dangerous work. To the others, who had only seen the camp and the besiegers from a distance, the whole thing seemed half a game of make-believe, and half a splendidly distinct and perfectly safe dream. But it was only now and then that Robert could feel this.
The afternoon flew by. It was super exciting, but none of them, [Pg 190]except Robert, could really sense all the time that this was truly dangerous work. For the others, who had only observed the camp and the attackers from afar, it all felt like part game and part a wonderfully clear and completely safe dream. But every now and then, Robert could feel the reality of it.
When it seemed to be tea-time the biscuits were eaten, with water from the deep well in the courtyard, drunk out of horns. Cyril insisted on putting by eight of the biscuits, in case anyone should feel faint in stress of battle.
When it was tea time, the biscuits were eaten, and they drank water from the deep well in the courtyard out of horns. Cyril insisted on saving eight of the biscuits, just in case anyone felt faint during the stress of battle.
Just as he was putting away the reserve biscuits in a sort of little stone cupboard without a door, a sudden sound made him drop three. It was the loud fierce cry of a trumpet.
Just as he was putting away the leftover biscuits in a small stone cupboard with no door, a sudden noise made him drop three of them. It was the loud, fierce sound of a trumpet.
"You see it is real," said Robert, "and they are going to attack."
"You see, it *is* real," said Robert, "and they're going to attack."
All rushed to the narrow windows.
All rushed to the narrow windows.
"Yes," said Robert, "they're all coming out of their tents and moving about like ants. There's that Jakin dancing about where the [Pg 191]bridge joins on. I wish he could see me put my tongue out at him! Yah!"
"Yeah," said Robert, "they're all coming out of their tents and moving around like ants. There's that Jakin dancing around where the [Pg 191]bridge connects. I wish he could see me stick my tongue out at him! Yah!"
The others were far too pale to wish to put their tongues out at anybody. They looked at Robert with surprised respect. Anthea said—
The others were way too pale to want to stick their tongues out at anyone. They looked at Robert with a mix of surprise and respect. Anthea said—
"You really are brave, Robert."
"You really are brave, Robert."
"Rot!" Cyril's pallor turned to redness now, all in a minute. "He's been getting ready to be brave all the afternoon. And I wasn't ready, that's all. I shall be braver than he is in half a jiffy."
"Rot!" Cyril's face went from pale to red in an instant. "He's been getting ready to act tough all afternoon. And I just wasn't prepared, that's all. I'll be braver than he is in no time."
"Oh dear!" said Jane, "what does it matter which of you is the bravest? I think Cyril was a perfect silly to wish for a castle, and I don't want to play."
"Oh dear!" said Jane, "what's the point in figuring out who's the bravest? I think Cyril was being ridiculous to wish for a castle, and I don't want to play."
"It isn't"—Robert was beginning sternly, but Anthea interrupted—
"It isn't"—Robert was starting off seriously, but Anthea cut in—
"Oh yes, you do," she said coaxingly; "it's a very nice game, really, because they can't possibly get in, and if they do the women and children are always spared by civilised armies."
"Oh yes, you do," she said sweetly; "it's a really nice game because they can't possibly get in, and if they do, civilized armies always spare the women and children."
"But are you quite, quite sure they are civil[Pg 192]ised?" asked Jane, panting. "They seem to be such a long time ago."
"But are you really, really sure they are civilized?[Pg 192]" asked Jane, out of breath. "They feel like they were ages ago."
"Of course they are." Anthea pointed cheerfully through the narrow window. "Why, look at the little flags on their lances, how bright they are—and how fine the leader is! Look, that's him—isn't it, Robert?—on the gray horse."
"Of course they are." Anthea pointed happily through the narrow window. "Just look at the little flags on their lances, how bright they are—and how impressive the leader is! Look, that's him, isn't it, Robert?—on the gray horse."
Jane consented to look, and the scene was almost too pretty to be alarming. The green turf, the white tents, the flash of pennoned lances, the gleam of armour, and the bright colours of scarf and tunic—it was just like a splendid coloured picture. The trumpets were sounding, and when the trumpeters stopped for breath the children could hear the cling-clang of armour and the murmur of voices.
Jane agreed to take a look, and the scene was almost too beautiful to be scary. The green grass, the white tents, the glint of flags on lances, the shine of armor, and the vibrant colors of scarves and tunics—it was just like a stunning colorful painting. The trumpets were playing, and when the trumpeters paused to catch their breath, the children could hear the clang of armor and the soft chatter of voices.
A trumpeter came forward to the edge of the moat, which now seemed very much narrower than at first, and blew the longest and loudest blast they had yet heard. When the blaring noise had died away, a man who was with the trumpeter shouted—[Pg 193]
A trumpeter stepped up to the edge of the moat, which now looked much narrower than before, and played the longest and loudest note they had ever heard. Once the loud sound faded, a man next to the trumpeter shouted—[Pg 193]
"What ho, within there!" and his voice came plainly to the garrison in the gate-house.
"What’s going on in there!" and his voice clearly reached the garrison in the gate-house.
"Hullo there!" Robert bellowed back at once.
"Hey there!" Robert shouted back immediately.
"In the name of our Lord the King, and of our good lord and trusty leader Sir Wulfric de Talbot, we summon this castle to surrender—on pain of fire and sword and no quarter. Do ye surrender?"
"In the name of our Lord the King and our faithful leader Sir Wulfric de Talbot, we demand that this castle surrenders—under threat of fire and sword with no mercy. Do you surrender?"
"No" bawled Robert; "of course we don't! Never, Never, NEVER!"
"No" shouted Robert; "of course we don't! Never, Never, NEVER!"
The man answered back—
The man replied—
"Then your fate be on your own heads."
"Then your fate is in your own hands."
"Cheer," said Robert in a fierce whisper. "Cheer to show them we aren't afraid, and rattle the daggers to make more noise. One, two, three! Hip, hip, hooray! Again—Hip, hip, hooray! One more—Hip, hip, hooray!" The cheers were rather high and weak, but the rattle of the daggers lent them strength and depth.
"Cheer," Robert said in a harsh whisper. "Cheer to show them we're not scared, and clink the daggers to make it louder. One, two, three! Hip, hip, hooray! Again—Hip, hip, hooray! One more—Hip, hip, hooray!" The cheers were kind of high and weak, but the clinking of the daggers gave them power and depth.
There was another shout from the camp across the moat—and then the beleaguered fortress felt that the attack had indeed begun.[Pg 194]
There was another shout from the camp across the moat—and then the besieged fortress realized that the attack had actually started.[Pg 194]
It was getting rather dark in the room above the great gate, and Jane took a very little courage as she remembered that sunset couldn't be far off now.
It was getting pretty dark in the room above the big gate, and Jane gathered a bit of courage as she remembered that sunset couldn't be far off now.
"The moat is dreadfully thin," said Anthea.
"The moat is really shallow," said Anthea.
"But they can't get into the castle even if they do swim over," said Robert. And as he spoke he heard feet on the stair outside—heavy feet and the clang of steel. No one breathed for a moment. The steel and the feet went on up the turret stairs. Then Robert sprang softly to the door. He pulled off his shoes.
"But they can't get into the castle even if they swim over," said Robert. As he spoke, he heard footsteps on the stairs outside—heavy footsteps and the clanging of metal. Everyone held their breath for a moment. The sound of steel and the footsteps continued up the turret stairs. Then Robert quietly sprang to the door and took off his shoes.
"Wait here," he whispered, and stole quickly and softly after the boots and the spur-clank. He peeped into the upper room. The man was there—and it was Jakin, all dripping with moat-water, and he was fiddling about with the machinery which Robert felt sure worked the drawbridge. Robert banged the door suddenly, and turned the great key in the lock, just as Jakin sprang to the inside of the door. Then he tore downstairs and into the little turret at the foot of the tower where the biggest window was.[Pg 195]
"Wait here," he whispered, then quickly and quietly followed the sound of the boots and the clanking spurs. He peeked into the upper room. The man was there—it was Jakin, all wet from the moat, and he was messing with the machinery that Robert was sure controlled the drawbridge. Robert abruptly slammed the door and turned the large key in the lock, just as Jakin rushed to the inside of the door. Then he ran downstairs and into the small turret at the base of the tower where the biggest window was.[Pg 195]
"We ought to have defended this!" he cried to the others as they followed him. He was just in time. Another man had swum over, and his fingers were on the window-ledge. Robert never knew how the man had managed to climb up out of the water. But he saw the clinging fingers, and hit them as hard as he could with an iron bar that he caught up from the floor. The man fell with a splash into the moat-water. In another moment Robert was outside the little room, had banged its door and was shooting home the enormous bolts, and calling to Cyril to lend a hand.
"We should have defended this!" he shouted to the others as they followed him. He arrived just in time. Another man had swum over, and his fingers were gripping the window ledge. Robert never figured out how the man had managed to pull himself up out of the water. But he saw the fingers clinging on, and he struck them as hard as he could with an iron bar he picked up from the floor. The man fell with a splash into the moat. Moments later, Robert was outside the small room, had slammed the door shut, bolted it tightly, and was calling for Cyril to help.
Then they stood in the arched gate-house, breathing hard and looking at each other.
Then they stood in the arched gatehouse, breathing heavily and looking at each other.
Jane's mouth was open.
Jane's mouth was agape.
"Cheer up, Jenny," said Robert,—"it won't last much longer."
"Cheer up, Jenny," Robert said, "it won't last much longer."
There was a creaking above, and something rattled and shook. The pavement they stood on seemed to tremble. Then a crash told them that the drawbridge had been lowered to its place.
There was a creaking noise overhead, and something rattled and shook. The pavement beneath them felt like it was trembling. Then a crash confirmed that the drawbridge had been lowered into position.
"That's that beast Jakin," said Robert.[Pg 196] "There's still the portcullis; I'm almost certain that's worked from lower down."
"That's that beast Jakin," Robert said.[Pg 196] "The portcullis is still there; I'm pretty sure it’s operated from lower down."
And now the drawbridge rang and echoed hollowly to the hoofs of horses and the tramp of armed men.
And now the drawbridge rang and echoed loudly to the sound of horses' hooves and the march of armed men.
"Up—quick!" cried Robert,—"let's drop things on them."
"Get up—fast!" shouted Robert, "let's drop things on them."
Even the girls were feeling almost brave now. They followed Robert quickly, and under his directions began to drop stones out through the long narrow windows. There was a confused noise below, and some groans.
Even the girls were feeling pretty brave now. They quickly followed Robert and, with his guidance, started to drop stones through the long, narrow windows. There was a jumbled noise down below, along with some groans.
"Oh dear!" said Anthea, putting down the stone she was just going to drop out, "I'm afraid we've hurt somebody!"
"Oh no!" Anthea said, setting down the stone she was about to drop. "I think we may have hurt someone!"
Robert caught up the stone in a fury.
Robert grabbed the stone in a fit of rage.
"I should hope we had!" he said; "I'd give something for a jolly good boiling kettle of lead. Surrender, indeed!"
"I really hope we did!" he said; "I'd give anything for a good, hot kettle of molten lead. Surrender, seriously!"
And now came more tramping and a pause, and then the thundering thump of the battering-ram. And the little room was almost pitch dark.[Pg 197]
And now there was more stomping and a pause, followed by the loud thud of the battering ram. The small room was nearly completely dark.[Pg 197]
"We've held it," cried Robert, "we won't surrender! The sun must set in a minute. Here—they're all jawing underneath again. Pity there's no time to get more stones! Here, pour that water down on them. It's no good, of course, but they'll hate it."
"We've got this," shouted Robert, "we're not giving up! The sun is about to set any minute now. Look—they’re all talking down there again. Too bad we can’t gather more stones! Here, pour that water down on them. It won’t really help, but they’ll definitely hate it."
"Oh dear!" said Jane, "don't you think we'd better surrender?"
"Oh no!" said Jane, "don't you think we should just give up?"
"Never!" said Robert; "we'll have a parley if you like, but we'll never surrender. Oh, I'll be a soldier when I grow up—you just see if I don't. I won't go into the Civil Service, whatever anyone says."
"Never!" Robert exclaimed; "we can have a discussion if you want, but we'll never give up. Oh, I'll definitely be a soldier when I grow up—just wait and see. I won't join the Civil Service, no matter what anyone says."
"Let's wave a handkerchief and ask for a parley," Jane pleaded. "I don't believe the sun's going to set to-night at all."
"Let’s wave a handkerchief and ask for a truce," Jane pleaded. "I really don't think the sun is going to set tonight at all."
"Give them the water first—the brutes!" said the bloodthirsty Robert. So Anthea tilted the pot over the nearest lead-hole, and poured. They heard a splash below, but no one below seemed to have felt it. And again the ram battered the great door. Anthea paused.
"Give them the water first—the beasts!" said the bloodthirsty Robert. So Anthea tilted the pot over the nearest lead-hole and poured. They heard a splash below, but no one down there seemed to notice. And again, the ram smashed into the great door. Anthea paused.
"How idiotic," said Robert, lying flat on the [Pg 198]floor and putting one eye to the lead-hole. "Of course the holes go straight down into the gate-house—that's for when the enemy has got past the door and the portcullis, and almost all is lost. Here, hand me the pot." He crawled on to the three-cornered window-ledge in the middle of the wall, and, taking the pot from Anthea, poured the water out through the arrow-slit.
"How ridiculous," said Robert, lying flat on the [Pg 198]floor and putting one eye to the lead hole. "Of course the holes go straight down into the gatehouse—that's for when the enemy has gotten past the door and the portcullis, and almost everything is lost. Here, give me the pot." He crawled up to the three-cornered window ledge in the middle of the wall and, taking the pot from Anthea, poured the water out through the arrow-slit.
And as he began to pour, the noise of the battering-ram and the trampling of the foe and the shouts of "Surrender!" and "De Talbot for ever!" all suddenly stopped and went out like the snuff of a candle; the little dark room seemed to whirl round and turn topsy-turvy, and when the children came to themselves there they were, safe and sound, in the big front bedroom of their own house—the house with the ornamental nightmare iron-top to the roof.
And as he started to pour, the sound of the battering ram, the stomping of the enemy, and the cries of "Surrender!" and "De Talbot forever!" suddenly faded away like the flicker of a candle; the small dark room began to spin and turn upside down, and when the kids regained their senses, they found themselves safe and sound in the large front bedroom of their own house—the house with the decorative iron spire on the roof.
They all crowded to the window and looked out. The moat and the tents and the besieging force were all gone—and there was the garden with its tangle of dahlias and mari[Pg 199]golds and asters and later roses, and the spiky iron railings and the quiet white road.
They all gathered at the window and looked outside. The moat, the tents, and the attacking army were all gone—and there was the garden with its mix of dahlias, marigolds, asters, and late roses, along with the sharp iron railings and the peaceful white road.
Everyone drew a deep breath.
Everyone took a deep breath.
"And that's all right!" said Robert. "I told you so! And, I say, we didn't surrender, did we?"
"And that's okay!" said Robert. "I told you so! And, I mean, we didn't give up, did we?"
"Aren't you glad now I wished for a castle?" asked Cyril.
"Aren't you glad I wished for a castle now?" asked Cyril.
"I think I am now," said Anthea slowly. "But I wouldn't wish for it again, I think, Squirrel dear!"
"I think I am now," said Anthea slowly. "But I wouldn't wish for it again, I think, Squirrel dear!"
"Oh, it was simply splendid!" said Jane unexpectedly. "I wasn't frightened a bit."
"Oh, it was just amazing!" Jane said unexpectedly. "I wasn't scared at all."
"Oh, I say!" Cyril was beginning, but Anthea stopped him.
"Oh, come on!" Cyril was starting to say, but Anthea interrupted him.
"Look here," she said, "it's just come into my head. This is the very first thing we've wished for that hasn't got us into a row. And there hasn't been the least little scrap of a row about this. Nobody's raging downstairs, we're safe and sound, we've had an awfully jolly day—at least, not jolly exactly, but you know what I mean. And we know now how brave Robert is—and Cyril too, of course,"[Pg 200] she added hastily, "and Jane as well. And we haven't got into a row with a single grown-up."
"Look here," she said, "I've just realized something. This is the very first thing we've wished for that hasn't caused us any trouble. And there hasn't been the slightest bit of drama about this. Nobody's freaking out downstairs, we're all safe and sound, and we've had a really fun day—well, not exactly fun, but you know what I mean. And now we know how brave Robert is—and Cyril too, of course," [Pg 200] she added quickly, "and Jane as well. And we haven't had a single argument with any adult."
The door was opened suddenly and fiercely.
The door swung open suddenly and forcefully.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourselves," said the voice of Martha, and they could tell by her voice that she was very angry indeed. "I thought you couldn't last through the day without getting up to some mischief! A person can't take a breath of air on the front doorstep but you must be emptying the water jug on their heads! Off you go to bed, the lot of you, and try to get up better children in the morning. Now then—don't let me have to tell you twice. If I find any of you not in bed in ten minutes I'll let you know it, that's all! A new cap, and everything!"
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," Martha's voice said, and they could tell she was really angry. "I thought you wouldn't make it through the day without causing some trouble! A person can't even take a breath of fresh air on the front step without you pouring water on their heads! Get to bed, all of you, and try to be better kids in the morning. Now, don’t make me say it twice. If I find any of you still out of bed in ten minutes, you'll hear from me, that's for sure! A new cap and everything!"
She flounced out amid a disregarded chorus of regrets and apologies. The children were very sorry, but really it was not their faults.
She stormed out while ignoring the chorus of regrets and apologies behind her. The kids felt bad, but it really wasn't their fault.
You can't help it if you are pouring water on a besieging foe, and your castle suddenly changes into your house—and everything [Pg 201]changes with it except the water, and that happens to fall on somebody else's clean cap.
You can't control it if you're pouring water on an attacking enemy, and your castle suddenly turns into your home—and everything [Pg 201]changes along with it except for the water, which ends up splashing onto someone else's clean cap.
"I don't know why the water didn't change into nothing, though," said Cyril.
"I don't get why the water didn't turn into anything," said Cyril.
"Why should it?" asked Robert. "Water's water all the world over."
"Why should it?" asked Robert. "Water is water everywhere."
"I expect the castle well was the same as ours in the stable-yard," said Jane. And that was really the case.
"I figure the castle's well was the same as ours in the stable yard," said Jane. And that was actually true.
"I thought we couldn't get through a wish-day without a row," said Cyril; "it was much too good to be true. Come on, Bobs, my military hero. If we lick into bed sharp she won't be so furious, and perhaps she'll bring us up some supper. I'm jolly hungry! Good-night, kids."
"I thought we couldn't get through a wish-day without a fight," said Cyril; "it felt way too good to be true. Come on, Bobs, my soldier hero. If we hurry to bed, she won't be so mad, and maybe she'll bring us some dinner. I'm really hungry! Goodnight, kids."
"Good-night. I hope the castle won't come creeping back in the night," said Jane.
"Goodnight. I hope the castle doesn't come creeping back at night," said Jane.
"Of course it won't," said Anthea briskly, "but Martha will—not in the night, but in a minute. Here, turn round, I'll get that knot out of your pinafore strings."
"Of course it won't," Anthea said quickly, "but Martha will—not at night, but in a minute. Here, turn around, I'll get that knot out of your apron strings."
"Wouldn't it have been degrading for Sir Wulfric de Talbot," said Jane dreamily, "if [Pg 202]he could have known that half the besieged garrison wore pinafores?"
"Wouldn't it have been humiliating for Sir Wulfric de Talbot," said Jane dreamily, "if [Pg 202]he could have known that half the besieged garrison wore aprons?"
"And the other half knickerbockers. Yes—frightfully. Do stand still—you're only tightening the knot," said Anthea.[Pg 203]
"And the other half are knickerbockers. Yeah—it's really bad. Just hold still—you're only making the knot tighter," said Anthea.[Pg 203]
CHAPTER VIII
BIGGER THAN THE BAKER'S BOY
"Look here," said Cyril. "I've got an idea."
"Hey," Cyril said. "I've got an idea."
"Does it hurt much?" said Robert sympathetically.
"Does it hurt a lot?" Robert asked with sympathy.
"Don't be a jackanape! I'm not humbugging."
"Don't be a fool! I'm not kidding."
"Shut up, Bobs!" said Anthea.
"Be quiet, Bobs!" said Anthea.
"Silence for the Squirrel's oration," said Robert.
"Be quiet for the Squirrel's speech," said Robert.
Cyril balanced himself on the edge of the water-butt in the backyard, where they all happened to be, and spoke.
Cyril balanced on the edge of the water butt in the backyard, where everyone was gathered, and spoke.
"Friends, Romans, countrymen—and women—we found a Sammyadd. We have had wishes. We've had wings, and being beautiful as the day—ugh!—that was pretty jolly beastly if you like—and wealth and castles, [Pg 204]and that rotten gipsy business with the Lamb. But we're no forrarder. We haven't really got anything worth having for our wishes."
"Friends, Romans, countrymen—and women—we found a Sammyadd. We've had our wishes. We've had our wings, and being as beautiful as the day—ugh!—that was pretty miserable if you ask me—and wealth and castles, [Pg 204]and that awful gypsy business with the Lamb. But we’re no further ahead. We don’t actually have anything worth wishing for."
"We've had things happening," said Robert; "that's always something."
"We've had some stuff going on," Robert said; "that's always something."
"It's not enough, unless they're the right things," said Cyril firmly. "Now I've been thinking"—
"It's not enough unless they're the right things," Cyril said firmly. "Now I've been thinking"—
"Not really?" whispered Robert.
"Really?" whispered Robert.
"In the silent what's-its-names of the night. It's like suddenly being asked something out of history—the date of the Conquest or something; you know it all right all the time, but when you're asked it all goes out of your head. Ladies and gentlemen, you know jolly well that when we're all rotting about in the usual way heaps of things keep cropping up, and then real earnest wishes come into the heads of the beholder"—
"In the quiet what's-its-names of the night. It's like being suddenly asked a historical question—the date of the Conquest or something; you know it perfectly well all the time, but when you’re asked, it all slips your mind. Ladies and gentlemen, you know very well that when we're all lounging around in the usual way, a lot of things keep coming up, and then genuine wishes come into the minds of those observing."
"Hear, hear!" said Robert.
"Here, here!" said Robert.
"—of the beholder, however, stupid he is," Cyril went on. "Why, even Robert might happen to think of a really useful wish if he didn't injure his poor little brains trying so [Pg 205]hard to think.—Shut up, Bobs, I tell you!—You'll have the whole show over."
"—of the beholder, no matter how stupid he is," Cyril continued. "Honestly, even Robert could come up with a genuinely useful wish if he didn't strain his little brain trying so [Pg 205]hard to think.—Just be quiet, Bobs, I'm telling you!—You'll mess up the whole thing."
A struggle on the edge of a water-butt is exciting but damp. When it was over, and the boys were partially dried, Anthea said—
A fight on the edge of a water butt is thrilling but wet. Once it was over, and the boys were mostly dried off, Anthea said—
"It really was you began it, Bobs. Now honour is satisfied, do let Squirrel go on. We're wasting the whole morning."
"It was really you who started it, Bobs. Now that honor is satisfied, let Squirrel continue. We're wasting the entire morning."
"Well then," said Cyril, still wringing the water out of the tails of his jacket, "I'll call it pax if Bobs will."
"Alright then," Cyril said, still wringing the water out of the ends of his jacket, "I'll call it peace if Bobs will."
"Pax then," said Robert sulkily. "But I've got a lump as big as a cricket ball over my eye."
"Pax then," Robert said grumpily. "But I've got a bump the size of a cricket ball above my eye."
Anthea patiently offered a dust-coloured handkerchief, and Robert bathed his wounds in silence. "Now, Squirrel," she said.
Anthea quietly handed over a dusty-colored handkerchief, and Robert cleaned his wounds in silence. "Now, Squirrel," she said.
"Well then—let's just play bandits, or forts, or soldiers, or any of the old games. We're dead sure to think of something if we try not to. You always do."
"Alright then—let's just play bandits, or forts, or soldiers, or any of the classic games. We're bound to think of something if we don't force it. You always do."
The others consented. Bandits was hastily chosen for the game. "It's as good as anything else," said Jane gloomily. It must be [Pg 206]owned that Robert was at first but a half-hearted bandit, but when Anthea had borrowed from Martha the red-spotted handkerchief in which the keeper had brought her mushrooms that morning, and had tied up Robert's head with it so that he could be the wounded hero who had saved the bandit captain's life the day before, he cheered up wonderfully. All were soon armed. Bows and arrows slung on the back look well; and umbrellas and cricket stumps through the belt give a fine impression of the wearer's being armed to the teeth. The white cotton hats that men wear in the country nowadays have a very brigandish effect when a few turkey's feathers are stuck in them. The Lamb's mail-cart was covered with a red-and-blue checked table-cloth, and made an admirable baggage-wagon. The Lamb asleep inside it was not at all in the way. So the banditti set out along the road that led to the sand-pit.
The others agreed. Bandits was quickly picked for the game. "It's as good as anything else," Jane said gloomily. It must be [Pg 206] acknowledged that Robert was initially a pretty reluctant bandit, but when Anthea borrowed the red-spotted handkerchief from Martha, the one the keeper had used to bring her mushrooms that morning, and wrapped it around Robert's head so he could be the wounded hero who saved the bandit captain's life the day before, he perked up a lot. Soon everyone was armed. Bows and arrows slung on their backs looked great; and umbrellas and cricket stumps tucked into their belts gave a fantastic impression of being fully equipped. The white cotton hats that men wear in the countryside these days had a very brigandish vibe when some turkey feathers were stuck in them. The Lamb's mail-cart was covered with a red-and-blue checked tablecloth, making it an excellent baggage wagon. The Lamb asleep inside it didn’t get in the way at all. So the bandits set out along the road toward the sand pit.
"We ought to be near the Sammyadd," said Cyril, "in case we think of anything suddenly."[Pg 207]
"We should be close to the Sammyadd," Cyril said, "in case we suddenly think of something."[Pg 207]
It is all very well to make up your minds to play bandit—or chess, or ping-pong, or any other agreeable game—but it is not easy to do it with spirit when all the wonderful wishes you can think of, or can't think of, are waiting for you round the corner. The game was dragging a little, and some of the bandits were beginning to feel that the others were disagreeable things, and were saying so candidly, when the baker's boy came along the road with loaves in a basket. The opportunity was not one to be lost.
It’s great to decide to play bandit—or chess, or ping-pong, or any fun game—but it’s tough to get into it when all the amazing things you can or can’t imagine are waiting just around the corner. The game was slowing down a bit, and some of the bandits were starting to feel that the others were being annoying, and they were saying so openly, when the baker’s boy came down the road with loaves in a basket. This was an opportunity that shouldn't be missed.
"Stand and deliver!" cried Cyril.
"Stand and deliver!" yelled Cyril.
"Your money or your life!" said Robert.
"Your money or your life!" Robert said.
And they stood on each side of the baker's boy. Unfortunately, he did not seem to enter into the spirit of the thing at all. He was a baker's boy of an unusually large size. He merely said—
And they stood on either side of the baker's boy. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to get into the spirit of things at all. He was a surprisingly big baker's boy. He simply said—
"Chuck it now, d'ye hear!" and pushed the bandits aside most disrespectfully.
"Throw it away now, do you hear!" and pushed the bandits aside quite rudely.
Then Robert lassoed him with Jane's skipping-rope, and instead of going round his shoulders, as Robert intended, it went round [Pg 208]his feet and tripped him up. The basket was upset, the beautiful new loaves went bumping and bouncing all over the dusty chalky road. The girls ran to pick them up, and all in a moment Robert and the baker's boy were fighting it out, man to man, with Cyril to see fair play, and the skipping-rope twisting round their legs like an interesting snake that wished to be a peace-maker. It did not succeed; indeed the way the boxwood handles sprang up and hit the fighters on the shins and ankles was not at all peace-making. I know this is the second fight—or contest—in this chapter, but I can't help it. It was that sort of day. You know yourself there are days when rows seem to keep on happening, quite without your meaning them to. If I were a writer of tales of adventure such as those which used to appear in The Boys of England when I was young of course I should be able to describe the fight, but I cannot do it. I never can see what happens during a fight, even when it is only dogs. Also, if I had been one of these Boys of England writers, Robert would have [Pg 209]got the best of it. But I am like George Washington—I cannot tell a lie, even about a cherry-tree, much less about a fight, and I cannot conceal from you that Robert was badly beaten, for the second time that day. The baker's boy blacked his other eye, and being ignorant of the first rules of fair play and gentlemanly behaviour, he also pulled Robert's hair, and kicked him on the knee. Robert always used to say he could have licked the baker if it hadn't been for the girls. But I am not sure. Anyway, what happened was this, and very painful it was to self-respecting boys.
Then Robert caught him with Jane's skipping rope, and instead of going around his shoulders like Robert planned, it wrapped around his feet and tripped him. The basket tipped over, and the beautiful new loaves went rolling all over the dusty, chalky road. The girls rushed to pick them up, and suddenly Robert and the baker's boy were fighting it out, one-on-one, with Cyril making sure it was fair, and the skipping rope twisting around their legs like a quirky snake trying to mediate. It didn’t help at all; in fact, the way the boxwood handles jumped up and hit the fighters on the shins and ankles was far from peaceful. I know this is the second fight—or contest—in this chapter, but I can’t help it. It was just that kind of day. You know there are days when arguments seem to keep popping up unexpectedly. If I were a writer of adventure stories like those that used to appear in *The Boys of England* when I was young, I would be able to describe the fight, but I can't do that. I can never fully see what happens during a fight, not even when it’s just dogs. Also, if I had been one of those *Boys of England* writers, Robert would have come out on top. But I can’t lie, not even about a cherry tree, much less about a fight, and I have to be honest with you that Robert got badly beaten for the second time that day. The baker's boy blackened his other eye and, not knowing the first rules of fair play and gentlemanly behavior, also pulled Robert's hair and kicked him in the knee. Robert always claimed he could have beaten the baker if it weren’t for the girls. But I’m not so sure. Anyway, here's what happened, and it was quite painful for self-respecting boys.
Cyril was just tearing off his coat so as to help his brother in proper style, when Jane threw her arms round his legs and began to cry and ask him not to go and be beaten too. That "too" was very nice for Robert, as you can imagine—but it was nothing to what he felt when Anthea rushed in between him and the baker's boy, and caught that unfair and degraded fighter round the waist, imploring him not to fight any more.[Pg 210]
Cyril was just taking off his coat to help his brother properly when Jane hugged his legs and started crying, begging him not to go and get hurt too. That "too" was sweet for Robert, as you can imagine—but it was nothing compared to how he felt when Anthea rushed in between him and the baker's boy, grabbing that unfair and degraded fighter around the waist, pleading with him to stop fighting.[Pg 210]
"Oh, don't hurt my brother any more!" she said in floods of tears. "He didn't mean it—it's only play. And I'm sure he's very sorry."
"Oh, please don't hurt my brother anymore!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "He didn't mean it—it's just playing around. And I know he's really sorry."
You see how unfair this was to Robert. Because, if the baker's boy had had any right and chivalrous instincts, and had yielded to Anthea's pleading and accepted her despicable apology, Robert could not, in honour, have done anything to him at any future time. But Robert's fears, if he had any, were soon dispelled. Chivalry was a stranger to the breast of the baker's boy. He pushed Anthea away very roughly, and he chased Robert with kicks and unpleasant conversation right down the road to the sand-pit, and there, with one last kick, he landed him in a heap of sand.
You can see how unfair this was to Robert. Because if the baker's boy had any sense of right and decency, and had given in to Anthea's pleas and accepted her pathetic apology, Robert couldn't, out of honor, have done anything to him later on. But Robert's worries, if he had any, disappeared quickly. Chivalry was not in the baker's boy's nature. He shoved Anthea away very harshly and chased Robert, throwing kicks and making rude comments all the way down the road to the sand-pit, where he delivered one final kick, sending Robert tumbling into a pile of sand.
"I'll larn you, you young varmint!" he said, and went off to pick up his loaves and go about his business. Cyril, impeded by Jane, could do nothing without hurting her, for she clung round his legs with the strength of despair. The baker's boy went off red and damp about [Pg 211]the face; abusive to the last, he called them a pack of silly idiots, and disappeared round the corner. Then Jane's grasp loosened. Cyril turned away in silent dignity to follow Robert, and the girls followed him, weeping without restraint.
"I'll teach you a lesson, you little brat!" he said, and walked off to grab his loaves and get on with his day. Cyril, blocked by Jane, couldn’t do anything without hurting her, as she clung to his legs with all her might. The baker's boy left, his face red and sweaty; still shouting insults, he called them a bunch of silly idiots and vanished around the corner. Then Jane finally let go. Cyril turned away in silent dignity to catch up with Robert, and the girls followed him, crying openly.
It was not a happy party that flung itself down in the sand beside the sobbing Robert. For Robert was sobbing—mostly with rage. Though of course I know that a really heroic boy is always dry-eyed after a fight. But then he always wins, which had not been the case with Robert.
It wasn't a happy group that landed in the sand next to the crying Robert. Because Robert was crying—mostly out of anger. Of course, I know that a truly brave boy is always dry-eyed after a fight. But then he always wins, which wasn't true for Robert.
Cyril was angry with Jane; Robert was furious with Anthea; the girls were miserable; and not one of the four was pleased with the baker's boy. There was, as French writers say, "a silence full of emotion."
Cyril was mad at Jane; Robert was furious with Anthea; the girls were unhappy; and none of the four were happy with the baker's boy. There was, as French writers say, "a silence full of emotion."
Then Robert dug his toes and his hands into the sand and wriggled in his rage. "He'd better wait till I'm grown up—the cowardly brute! Beast!—I hate him! But I'll pay him out. Just because he's bigger than me."[Pg 212]
Then Robert dug his toes and hands into the sand and squirmed in his anger. "He'd better wait until I'm grown up—the cowardly brute! Beast!—I hate him! But I'll get back at him. Just because he's bigger than me."[Pg 212]
"You began," said Jane incautiously.
"You started," said Jane cautiously.
"I know I did, silly—but I was only jollying—and he kicked me—look here"—
"I know I did, silly—but I was just messing around—and he kicked me—look here"—
Robert tore down a stocking and showed a purple bruise touched up with red.
Robert pulled down a stocking and revealed a purple bruise highlighted with red.
"I only wish I was bigger than him, that's all."
"I just wish I were bigger than him, that's it."
He dug his fingers in the sand, and sprang up, for his hand had touched something furry. It was the Psammead, of course—"On the look-out to make sillies of them as usual," as Cyril remarked later. And of course the next moment Robert's wish was granted, and he was bigger than the baker's boy. Oh, but much, much bigger! He was bigger than the big policeman who used to be at the crossing at the Mansion House years ago,—the one who was so kind in helping old ladies over the crossing,—and he was the biggest man I have ever seen, as well as the kindest. No one had a foot-rule in its pocket, so Robert could not be measured—but he was taller than your father would be if he stood on your mother's head, which I am sure he would never be un[Pg 213]kind enough to do. He must have been ten or eleven feet high, and as broad as a boy of that height ought to be. His suit had fortunately grown too, and now he stood up in it—with one of his enormous stockings turned down to show the gigantic bruise on his vast leg. Immense tears of fury still stood on his flushed giant face. He looked so surprised, and he was so large to be wearing a turned down collar outside of his jacket that the others could not help laughing.
He dug his fingers in the sand and jumped up because he had touched something furry. It was the Psammead, of course—"Just waiting to make fools of them like always," as Cyril said later. And of course, the next moment, Robert's wish came true, and he was bigger than the baker's boy. Oh, but much, much bigger! He was bigger than the big policeman who used to be at the crossing at the Mansion House years ago—the one who was so nice in helping old ladies cross the street—and he was the biggest man I have ever seen, as well as the kindest. No one had a tape measure, so Robert couldn't be measured—but he was taller than your dad would be if he stood on your mom's head, which I’m sure he would never be un[Pg 213]kind enough to do. He must have been ten or eleven feet tall, and as broad as a boy of that height should be. Luckily, his suit had grown too, and now he stood in it—with one of his enormous stockings turned down to show the giant bruise on his huge leg. Huge tears of anger were still on his flushed giant face. He looked so surprised, and he was so big wearing a turned-down collar over his jacket that the others couldn’t help laughing.
"The Sammyadd's done us again," said Cyril.
"The Sammyadd has done it to us again," said Cyril.
"Not us—me," said Robert. "If you'd got any decent feeling you'd try to make it make you the same size. You've no idea how silly it feels," he added thoughtlessly.
"Not us—me," said Robert. "If you had any decent feelings, you'd try to make it so you're the same size. You have no idea how ridiculous it feels," he added without thinking.
"And I don't want to; I can jolly well see how silly it looks," Cyril was beginning; but Anthea said—
"And I don't want to; I can clearly see how ridiculous it looks," Cyril was starting to say; but Anthea interrupted—
"Oh, don't! I don't know what's the matter with you boys to-day. Look here, Squirrel, let's play fair. It is hateful for poor old Bobs, all alone up there. Let's ask the Sammyadd [Pg 214]for another wish, and, if it will, I do really think we ought all to be made the same size."
"Oh, don't! I don’t know what’s going on with you guys today. Listen, Squirrel, let’s be fair. It’s just mean to leave poor old Bobs up there all alone. Let’s ask the Sammyadd [Pg 214] for another wish, and if it can, I really think we should all be the same size."
The others agreed, but not gaily; but when they found the Psammead, it wouldn't.
The others agreed, but not happily; however, when they found the Psammead, it wouldn’t cooperate.
"Not I," it said crossly, rubbing its face with its feet. "He's a rude violent boy, and it'll do him good to be the wrong size for a bit. What did he want to come digging me out with his nasty wet hands for? He nearly touched me! He's a perfect savage. A boy of the Stone Age would have had more sense."
"Not me," it said irritably, rubbing its face with its feet. "He's a rude, violent kid, and it’ll teach him a lesson to be the wrong size for a while. What did he need to come digging me out with his dirty, wet hands for? He almost touched me! He's a total savage. A kid from the Stone Age would have had more sense."
Robert's hands had indeed been wet—with tears.
Robert's hands had definitely been wet—with tears.
"Go away and leave me in peace, do," the Psammead went on. "I can't think why you don't wish for something sensible—something to eat or drink, or good manners, or good tempers. Go along with you, do!"
"Just leave me alone, will you?" the Psammead continued. "I don't understand why you don't wish for something practical—like food or drinks, or better manners, or good tempers. Just go away!"
It almost snarled as it shook its whiskers, and turned a sulky brown back on them. The most hopeful felt that further parley was vain.
It nearly growled as it shook its whiskers and turned its moody brown back on them. The most optimistic ones felt that further discussion was pointless.
"What ever shall we do?" they said; and they all said it.
"What are we going to do?" they said; and they all said it.
"First," said Robert grimly, "I'm going to reason with that baker's boy. I shall catch him at the end of the road."
"First," Robert said seriously, "I'm going to talk to that baker's boy. I'll catch him at the end of the road."
"Don't hit a chap smaller than yourself, old man," said Cyril.
"Don't hit someone smaller than you, man," said Cyril.
"Do I look like hitting him?" said Robert scornfully. "Why, I should kill him. But I'll give him something to remember. Wait till I pull up my stocking." He pulled up his stocking, which was as large as a small bolster-case, and strode off. His strides were six or seven feet long, so that it was quite easy for him to be at the bottom of the hill, ready to meet the baker's boy when he came down swinging the empty basket to meet his master's cart, which had been leaving bread at the cottages along the road.
"Do I look like I would hit him?" Robert said with disdain. "I should totally take him out. But I'll make sure he remembers this. Just wait until I pull up my sock." He pulled up his sock, which was as big as a small pillowcase, and walked off. His steps were six or seven feet long, so it was easy for him to get to the bottom of the hill, ready to greet the baker's boy when he came down swinging the empty basket to meet his master's cart, which had been delivering bread to the houses along the road.
Robert crouched behind a haystack in the farmyard, that is at the corner, and when he heard the boy come whistling along he jumped out at him and caught him by the collar.[Pg 216]
Robert crouched behind a haystack in the farmyard, at the corner, and when he heard the boy whistling nearby, he jumped out and grabbed him by the collar.[Pg 216]
"Now," he said, and his voice was about four times its usual size, just as his body was four times its, "I'm going to teach you to kick boys smaller than you."
"Now," he said, his voice booming like four times its usual volume, just as his body was four times its normal size, "I'm going to teach you how to kick boys who are smaller than you."
He lifted up the baker's boy and set him on the top of the haystack, which was about sixteen feet from the ground, and then he sat down on the roof of the barn and told the baker's boy exactly what he thought of him. I don't think the boy heard it all—he was in a sort of trance of terror. When Robert had said everything he could think of, and some things twice over, he shook the boy and said—
He picked up the baker's boy and placed him on top of the haystack, which was about sixteen feet off the ground, and then he sat down on the roof of the barn and expressed exactly what he thought of him. I don't think the boy heard everything—he was in a state of sheer panic. After Robert had said everything he could think of, even repeating some points, he shook the boy and said—
"And now get down the best way you can," and left him.
"And now get down however you can," and left him.
I don't know how the baker's boy got down, but I do know that he missed the cart and got into the very hottest of hot water when he turned up at last at the bakehouse. I am sorry for him, but after all, it was quite right that he should be taught that boys mustn't use their feet when they fight, but their fists. Of course the water he got into only became hot[Pg 217]ter when he tried to tell his master about the boy he had licked and the giant as high as a church, because no one could possibly believe such a tale as that. Next day the tale was believed—but that was too late to be of any use to the baker's boy.
I don't know how the baker's boy got down, but I do know that he missed the cart and got into serious trouble when he finally showed up at the bakehouse. I feel sorry for him, but it was important for him to learn that boys shouldn't fight with their feet, but with their fists. Of course, the trouble he got into only got worse when he tried to explain to his boss about the boy he had beaten and the giant as tall as a church, because no one could possibly believe such a story. The next day, the story was believed—but by then, it was too late to help the baker's boy.
When Robert rejoined the others he found them in the garden. Anthea had thoughtfully asked Martha to let them have dinner out there—because the dining-room was rather small, and it would have been so awkward to have a brother the size of Robert in there. The Lamb, who had slept peacefully during the whole stormy morning, was now found to be sneezing, and Martha said he had a cold and would be better indoors.
When Robert came back to the group, he found them in the garden. Anthea had kindly asked Martha to let them have dinner outside—since the dining room was a bit small, and it would have been awkward to have Robert, who was so big, in there. The Lamb, who had slept soundly through the entire stormy morning, was now sneezing, and Martha said he had a cold and would be better off inside.
"And really it's just as well," said Cyril, "for I don't believe he'd ever have stopped screaming if he'd once seen you, the awful size you are!"
"And honestly, it's probably for the best," Cyril said, "because I really don't think he would have stopped screaming if he had ever seen you, with how huge you are!"
Robert was indeed what a draper would call an "out-size" in boys. He found himself able to step right over the iron gate in the front garden.[Pg 218]
Robert was definitely what a tailor would refer to as an "outsize" kid. He could easily step right over the iron gate in the front yard.[Pg 218]
Martha brought out the dinner—it was cold veal and baked potatoes, with sago pudding and stewed plums to follow.
Martha brought out dinner—it was cold veal and baked potatoes, with sago pudding and stewed plums for dessert.
She of course did not notice that Robert was anything but the usual size, and she gave him as much meat and potatoes as usual and no more. You have no idea how small your usual helping of dinner looks when you are many times your proper size. Robert groaned, and asked for more bread. But Martha would not go on giving more bread for ever. She was in a hurry, because the keeper intended to call on his way to Benenhurst Fair, and she wished to be smartly dressed before he came.
She obviously didn’t realize that Robert was anything but his usual size, so she gave him the same amount of meat and potatoes as always and nothing extra. You can’t imagine how small your usual portion looks when you’re way bigger than normal. Robert groaned and asked for more bread. But Martha wasn’t going to keep giving him more bread forever. She was in a rush because the keeper planned to stop by on his way to Benenhurst Fair, and she wanted to be nicely dressed before he arrived.
"I wish we were going to the Fair," said Robert.
"I wish we were going to the Fair," Robert said.
"You can't go anywhere that size," said Cyril.
"You can't go anywhere that small," said Cyril.
"Why not?" said Robert. "They have giants at fairs, much bigger ones than me."
"Why not?" Robert said. "They have giants at fairs, much bigger than me."
"Not much, they don't," Cyril was beginning, when Jane screamed "Oh!" with such loud suddenness that they all thumped her on [Pg 219]the back and asked whether she had swallowed a plum-stone.
"Not much, they don't," Cyril was starting to say, when Jane suddenly screamed "Oh!" with such intensity that they all patted her on [Pg 219]the back and asked if she had swallowed a plum pit.
"No," she said, breathless from being thumped, "it's—it's not a plum-stone. It's an idea. Let's take Robert to the Fair, and get them to give us money for showing him! Then we really shall get something out of the old Sammyadd at last!"
"No," she said, breathless from being hit, "it's—not a plum pit. It's an idea. Let's take Robert to the Fair and get them to pay us for showing him! Then we'll finally get something out of the old Sammyadd!"
"Take me, indeed!" said Robert indignantly. "Much more likely me take you!"
"Take me, really!" Robert said angrily. "Much more likely that I'll take you!"
And so it turned out. The idea appealed irresistibly to everyone but Robert, and even he was brought round by Anthea's suggestion that he should have a double share of any money they might make. There was a little old pony-cart in the coach-house—the kind that is called a governess-cart. It seemed desirable to get to the Fair as quickly as possible, so Robert—who could now take enormous steps and so go very fast indeed—consented to wheel the others in this. It was as easy to him now as wheeling the Lamb in the mail-cart had been in the morning. The Lamb's cold prevented his being of the party.[Pg 220]
And that's how it happened. The idea was really appealing to everyone except Robert, but even he changed his mind after Anthea suggested he should get a bigger share of any money they might make. There was an old pony cart in the coach house—what you would call a governess cart. It seemed best to get to the fair as quickly as possible, so Robert—who was now able to take big strides and move really fast—agreed to pull the others in it. It was as easy for him now as it had been to wheel the Lamb in the mail cart that morning. The Lamb was too sick to join them.[Pg 220]
It was a strange sensation being wheeled in a pony-carriage by a giant. Everyone enjoyed the journey except Robert and the few people they passed on the way. These mostly went into what looked like some kind of standing-up fits by the roadside, as Anthea said. Just outside Benenhurst, Robert hid in a barn, and the others went on to the Fair.
It felt odd being taken in a pony carriage by a giant. Everyone loved the ride except for Robert and a few people they passed along the way. These individuals mostly seemed to have some kind of fits while standing by the roadside, as Anthea put it. Just outside Benenhurst, Robert ducked into a barn while the others continued on to the Fair.
There were some swings, and a hooting-tooting blaring merry-go-round, and a shooting-gallery and Aunt Sallies. Resisting an impulse to win a cocoanut,—or at least to attempt the enterprise,—Cyril went up to the woman who was loading little guns before the array of glass bottles on strings against a sheet of canvas.
There were some swings, a loud, honking merry-go-round, a shooting gallery, and Aunt Sallies. Fighting the urge to win a coconut—or at least to try—Cyril approached the woman who was loading small guns in front of a line of glass bottles hanging from strings against a canvas backdrop.
"Here you are, little gentleman!" she said. "Penny a shot!"
"Here you go, young man!" she said. "A penny for each shot!"
"No, thank you," said Cyril, "we are here on business, not on pleasure. Who's the master?"
"No, thank you," said Cyril, "we're here for business, not for pleasure. Who's in charge?"
"The what?"
"The what?"
"The master—the head—the boss of the show."[Pg 221]
"The master—the head—the boss of the show."[Pg 221]
"Over there," she said, pointing to a stout man in a dirty linen jacket who was sleeping in the sun; "but I don't advise you to wake him sudden. His temper's contrairy, especially these hot days. Better have a shot while you're waiting."
"Over there," she said, pointing to a heavyset man in a grimy linen jacket who was napping in the sun; "but I wouldn’t recommend waking him up suddenly. He’s in a bad mood, especially on days like this. You might as well take a shot while you wait."
"It's rather important," said Cyril. "It'll be very profitable to him. I think he'll be sorry if we take it away."
"It's pretty important," said Cyril. "It'll be really beneficial for him. I think he'll regret it if we take it away."
"Oh, if it's money in his pocket," said the woman. "No kid now? What is it?"
"Oh, if he's got money in his pocket," said the woman. "No kid now? What's going on?"
"It's a giant."
"It's a giant."
"You are kidding?"
"You're kidding?"
"Come along and see," said Anthea.
"Come on and check it out," said Anthea.
The woman looked doubtfully at them, then she called to a ragged little girl in striped stockings and a dingy white petticoat that came below her brown frock, and leaving her in charge of the "shooting-gallery" she turned to Anthea and said, "Well, hurry up! But if you are kidding, you'd best say so. I'm as mild as milk myself, but my Bill he's a fair terror and"—
The woman looked skeptically at them, then she called to a scruffy little girl in striped stockings and a dirty white petticoat that peeked out from under her brown dress, and leaving her in charge of the "shooting-gallery," she turned to Anthea and said, "Well, hurry up! But if you’re just messing around, you should say so. I’m pretty easygoing myself, but my Bill is something else and”—
Anthea led the way to the barn. "It really[Pg 222] is a giant," she said. "He's a giant little boy—in a suit like my brother's there. And we didn't bring him up to the Fair because people do stare so, and they seem to go into kind of standing-up fits when they see him. And we thought perhaps you'd like to show him and get pennies; and if you like to pay us something, you can—only, it'll have to be rather a lot, because we promised him he should have a double share of whatever we made."
Anthea led the way to the barn. "It really[Pg 222] is huge," she said. "He's a giant little boy—dressed like my brother over there. We didn’t bring him to the Fair because people stare so much, and they seem to have fits when they see him. We thought maybe you'd like to show him around and collect some pennies; and if you want to give us something, you can— but it’ll have to be quite a bit because we promised him he would get double whatever we make."
The woman murmured something indistinct, of which the children could only hear the words, "Swelp me!" "balmy," and "crumpet," which conveyed no definite idea to their minds.
The woman mumbled something unclear, from which the children could only make out the words, "Help me!" "crazy," and "cookie," which didn’t give them any clear understanding.
She had taken Anthea's hand, and was holding it very firmly; and Anthea could not help wondering what would happen if Robert should have wandered off or turned his proper size during the interval. But she knew that the Psammead's gifts really did last till sunset, however inconvenient their lasting might be; and she did not think, somehow, that Robert [Pg 223]would care to go out alone while he was that size.
She had taken Anthea's hand and was holding it tightly, and Anthea couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Robert had wandered off or changed back to his regular size in the meantime. But she knew that the Psammead's powers actually lasted until sunset, no matter how inconvenient that might be; and for some reason, she didn’t think Robert [Pg 223]would want to go out on his own while he was that size.
When they reached the barn and Cyril called "Robert!" there was a stir among the loose hay, and Robert began to come out. His hand and arm came first—then a foot and leg. When the woman saw the hand she said "My!" but when she saw the foot she said "Upon my word!" and when, by slow and heavy degrees, the whole of Robert's enormous bulk was at last disclosed, she drew a long breath and began to say many things, compared with which "balmy" and "crumpet" seemed quite ordinary. She dropped into understandable English at last.
When they got to the barn and Cyril shouted "Robert!" there was a rustle in the loose hay, and Robert started to emerge. His hand and arm came out first—then a foot and a leg. When the woman saw the hand, she exclaimed, "My!" but when she saw the foot, she said, "Well, I never!" And when, gradually, Robert's huge frame was finally revealed, she took a deep breath and began to express many things, making "nice" and "treat" sound pretty ordinary. Eventually, she settled into clear English.
"What'll you take for him?" she said excitedly. "Anything in reason. We'd have a special van built—leastways, I know where there's a second-hand one would do up handsome—what a baby elephant had, as died. What'll you take? He's soft, ain't he? Them giants mostly is—but I never see—no, never! What'll you take? Down on the nail. We'll treat him like a king, and give him first-rate [Pg 224]grub and a doss fit for a bloomin' dook. He must be dotty or he wouldn't need you kids to cart him about. What'll you take for him?"
"What will you take for him?" she said excitedly. "Anything reasonable. We could have a special van built—at least, I know where I can get a second-hand one that would look great—what a baby elephant had, that died. What will you take? He's sweet, isn’t he? Those big guys usually are—but I’ve never seen—no, never! What will you take? Cash on the spot. We’ll treat him like a king, and give him top-notch [Pg 224] food and a place to sleep fit for a blooming duke. He must be out of his mind or he wouldn’t need you kids to carry him around. What will you take for him?"
"They won't take anything," said Robert sternly. "I'm no more soft than you are—not so much, I shouldn't wonder. I'll come and be a show for to-day if you'll give me,"—he hesitated at the enormous price he was about to ask,—"if you'll give me fifteen shillings."
"They won't take anything," Robert said firmly. "I'm not any softer than you are—probably even less so. I'll agree to put on a show today if you give me,"—he paused at the huge amount he was about to request,—"if you give me fifteen shillings."
"Done," said the woman, so quickly that Robert felt he had been unfair to himself, and wished he had asked thirty. "Come on now—and see my Bill—and we'll fix a price for the season. I dessay you might get as much as two pounds a week reg'lar. Come on—and make yourself as small as you can for gracious' sake!"
"All done," said the woman, so quickly that Robert felt he had shortchanged himself and wished he had asked for thirty. "Come on now—and meet my Bill—and we'll agree on a price for the season. I bet you could get as much as two pounds a week regularly. Come on—and try to make yourself as small as possible, for goodness' sake!"
This was not very small, and a crowd gathered quickly, so that it was at the head of an enthusiastic procession that Robert entered the trampled meadow where the Fair was held, and passed over the stubby yellow dusty [Pg 225]grass to the door of the biggest tent. He crept in, and the woman went to call her Bill. He was the big sleeping man, and he did not seem at all pleased at being awakened. Cyril, watching through a slit in the tent, saw him scowl and shake a heavy fist and a sleepy head. Then the woman went on speaking very fast. Cyril heard "Strewth," and "biggest draw you ever, so help me!" and he began to share Robert's feeling that fifteen shillings was indeed far too little. Bill slouched up to the tent and entered. When he beheld the magnificent proportions of Robert he said but little,—"Strike me pink!" were the only words the children could afterwards remember,—but he produced fifteen shillings, mainly in sixpences and coppers, and handed it to Robert.
This was not very small, and a crowd quickly gathered, so it was at the front of an excited procession that Robert entered the trampled meadow where the Fair was taking place and walked over the short, dusty yellow grass to the door of the biggest tent. He slipped inside, and the woman went to get her Bill. He was the big sleeping guy and didn’t seem at all happy about being woken up. Cyril, looking through a slit in the tent, saw him frown and shake a heavy fist along with a sleepy head. Then the woman started talking super fast. Cyril heard “Strewth” and “biggest draw you ever, so help me!” and he began to share Robert's feeling that fifteen shillings was definitely too little. Bill sauntered up to the tent and stepped inside. When he saw Robert's impressive size, he didn’t say much—“Strike me pink!” were the only words the kids could remember later—but he pulled out fifteen shillings, mostly in sixpences and coppers, and gave it to Robert.
"We'll fix up about what you're to draw when the show's over to-night," he said with hoarse heartiness. "Lor' love a duck! you'll be that happy with us you'll never want to leave us. Can you do a song now—or a bit of a breakdown?"[Pg 226]
"We'll figure out what you're going to draw when the show's done tonight," he said with a rough cheerfulness. "Oh my gosh! You'll be so happy with us that you'll never want to leave. Can you sing something now—or maybe do a little dance?"[Pg 226]
"Not to-day," said Robert, rejecting the idea of trying to sing "As once in May," a favourite of his mother's, and the only song he could think of at the moment.
"Not today," said Robert, turning down the idea of trying to sing "As once in May," a favorite of his mother's, and the only song he could think of right now.
"Get Levi and clear them bloomin' photos out. Clear the tent. Stick out a curtain or suthink," the man went on. "Lor', what a pity we ain't got no tights his size! But we'll have 'em before the week's out. Young man, your fortune's made. It's a good thing you came to me, and not to some chaps as I could tell you on. I've known blokes as beat their giants, and starved 'em too; so I'll tell you straight, you're in luck this day if you never was afore. 'Cos I'm a lamb, I am—and I don't deceive you."
"Get Levi and clear out those damn photos. Clean up the tent. Put up a curtain or something," the man continued. "Wow, what a shame we don't have any tights his size! But we'll get them before the week's over. Young man, your fortune is made. It's a good thing you came to me and not to some guys I could name. I've known guys who beat their giants and starved them too; so I'll be honest, you're lucky today if you’ve never been before. Because I’m a good guy, I am—and I don't lie to you."
"I'm not afraid of anyone beating me," said Robert, looking down on the "lamb." Robert was crouched on his knees, because the tent was not big enough for him to stand upright in, but even in that position he could still look down on most people. "But I'm awfully hungry—I wish you'd get me something to eat."[Pg 227]
"I'm not worried about anyone beating me," Robert said, looking down at the "lamb." He was crouched on his knees because the tent was too small for him to stand up in, but even in that position, he could still look down on most people. "But I'm really hungry—I wish you'd get me something to eat."[Pg 227]
"Here, 'Becca," said the hoarse Bill. "Get him some grub—the best you've got, mind!" Another whisper followed, of which the children only heard, "Down in black and white—first thing to-morrow."
"Hey, 'Becca," said the hoarse Bill. "Get him some food—the best you have, okay?" Then he whispered something else, and the kids only caught, "Written down clearly—first thing tomorrow."
Then the woman went to get the food—it was only bread and cheese when it came, but it was delightful to the large and empty Robert; and the man went to post sentinels round the tent, to give the alarm if Robert should attempt to escape with his fifteen shillings.
Then the woman went to get the food—it was just bread and cheese when it arrived, but it was a treat for the hungry and empty Robert; and the man went to place guards around the tent, to alert them if Robert tried to escape with his fifteen shillings.
"As if we weren't honest," said Anthea indignantly when the meaning of the sentinels dawned on her.
"As if we weren't being honest," Anthea said angrily when she realized what the sentinels meant.
Then began a very strange and wonderful afternoon.
Then began a really strange and amazing afternoon.
Bill was a man who knew his business. In a very little while, the photographic views, the spyglasses you look at them through so that they really seem rather real, and the lights you see them by, were all packed away. A curtain—it was an old red-and-black carpet really—was run across the tent. Robert was concealed behind, and Bill was standing on a [Pg 228]trestle-table outside the tent making a speech. It was rather a good speech. It began by saying that the giant it was his privilege to introduce to the public that day was the eldest son of the Emperor of San Francisco, compelled through an unfortunate love affair with the Duchess of the Fiji Islands to leave his own country and take refuge in England—the land of liberty—where freedom was the right of every man, no matter how big he was. It ended by the announcement that the first twenty who came to the tent door should see the giant for threepence apiece. "After that," said Bill, "the price is riz, and I don't undertake to say what it won't be riz to. So now's yer time."
Bill was a guy who knew his stuff. Before long, the photo displays, the viewing glasses that made everything look pretty realistic, and the lighting were all packed away. A curtain—really an old red-and-black carpet—was drawn across the tent. Robert was hidden behind it, and Bill was standing on a [Pg 228] trestle table outside the tent giving a speech. It was quite a good speech. He started by saying that the giant he was excited to introduce to everyone that day was the eldest son of the Emperor of San Francisco, who had to leave his homeland due to an unfortunate romance with the Duchess of the Fiji Islands and find refuge in England—the land of freedom—where every man, no matter how big, had the right to be free. He concluded by announcing that the first twenty people to come to the tent door could see the giant for threepence each. "After that," Bill said, "the price goes up, and I can’t promise what it’ll be raised to. So now’s your chance."
A young man with his sweetheart on her afternoon out was the first to come forward. For this occasion his was the princely attitude—no expense spared—money no object. His girl wished to see the giant? Well, she should see the giant, even though seeing the giant cost threepence each and the other entertainments were all penny ones.[Pg 229]
A young man with his girlfriend out for the afternoon was the first to step up. For this outing, he took on a royal attitude—spending freely—money was no issue. His girl wanted to see the giant? Fine, she'd see the giant, even if it cost threepence each while everything else was just a penny.[Pg 229]
The flap of the tent was raised—the couple entered. Next moment a wild shriek from the girl thrilled through all present. Bill slapped his leg. "That's done the trick!" he whispered to 'Becca. It was indeed a splendid advertisement of the charms of Robert.
The tent flap was pulled back—the couple walked in. The next moment, a loud scream from the girl sent a chill through everyone there. Bill slapped his leg. "That’s done the trick!" he whispered to 'Becca. It was definitely a great way to showcase Robert's charms.
When the young girl came out she was pale and trembling, and a crowd was round the tent.
When the young girl came out, she was pale and shaking, and a crowd had gathered around the tent.
"What was it like?" asked a farm-hand.
"What was it like?" asked a farm worker.
"Oh!—horrid!—you wouldn't believe," she said. "It's as big as a barn, and that fierce. It froze the blood in my bones. I wouldn't ha' missed seeing it for anything."
"Oh my gosh! It's terrifying, you wouldn't believe it," she said. "It's as big as a barn and just as fierce. It sent chills down my spine. I wouldn't have missed seeing it for anything."
The fierceness was only caused by Robert's trying not to laugh. But the desire to do that soon left him, and before sunset he was more inclined to cry than laugh, and more inclined to sleep than either. For, by ones and twos and threes, people kept coming in all the afternoon, and Robert had to shake hands with those who wished it, and to allow himself to be punched and pulled and patted and [Pg 230]thumped, so that people might make sure he was really real.
The intensity was just because Robert was trying not to laugh. But that urge quickly faded, and by sunset he felt more like crying than laughing, and more like sleeping than anything else. Throughout the afternoon, people kept trickling in, and Robert had to shake hands with those who wanted to, letting himself be poked, pulled, patted, and [Pg 230]thumped, so others could be sure he was really there.
The other children sat on a bench and watched and waited, and were very bored indeed. It seemed to them that this was the hardest way of earning money that could have been invented. And only fifteen shillings! Bill had taken four times that already, for the news of the giant had spread, and trades-people in carts, and gentlepeople in carriages, came from far and near. One gentleman with an eyeglass, and a very large yellow rose in his buttonhole, offered Robert, in an obliging whisper, ten pounds a week to appear at the Crystal Palace. Robert had to say "No."
The other kids sat on a bench, watching and waiting, feeling really bored. It seemed to them that this was the toughest way to make money they could imagine. And for just fifteen shillings! Bill had already earned four times that because word about the giant had spread, and vendors in carts, as well as people in fancy carriages, came from all around. One guy with an eyeglass and a big yellow rose in his buttonhole offered Robert, in a friendly whisper, ten pounds a week to perform at the Crystal Palace. Robert had to say "No."
"I can't," he said regretfully. "It's no use promising what you can't do."
"I can't," he said with regret. "There's no point in making promises you can't keep."
"Ah, poor fellow, bound for a term of years, I suppose! Well, here's my card; when your time's up come to me."
"Ah, poor guy, stuck in here for a while, I guess! Anyway, here's my card; when you're out, come see me."
"I will—if I'm the same size then," said Robert truthfully.
"I will—if I’m the same size by then," said Robert honestly.
"If you grow a bit, so much the better," said the gentleman.[Pg 231]
"If you grow a little, that's even better," said the gentleman.[Pg 231]
When he had gone, Robert beckoned Cyril and said—
When he left, Robert waved Cyril over and said—
"Tell them I must and will have a rest. And I want my tea."
"Tell them I need to take a break. And I want my tea."
Tea was provided, and a paper hastily pinned on the tent. It said—
Tea was served, and a paper quickly pinned to the tent read—
WHILE THE GIANT GETS HIS TEA
Then there was a hurried council.
Then there was a rushed meeting.
"How am I to get away?" said Robert.
"How am I supposed to get away?" said Robert.
"I've been thinking about it all the afternoon."
"I've been thinking about it all afternoon."
"Why, walk out when the sun sets and you're your right size. They can't do anything to us."
"Why go out when the sun sets and you’re just the right size? They can’t do anything to us."
Robert opened his eyes. "Why, they'd nearly kill us," he said, "when they saw me get my right size. No, we must think of some other way. We must be alone when the sun sets."
Robert opened his eyes. "They'd almost kill us," he said, "when they see me get my right size. No, we need to come up with another plan. We have to be alone when the sun sets."
"I know," said Cyril briskly, and he went to the door, outside which Bill was smoking a clay pipe and talking in a low voice to 'Becca.[Pg 232] Cyril heard him say—"Good as havin' a fortune left you."
"I know," Cyril said quickly, and he went to the door, where Bill was smoking a clay pipe and talking quietly to 'Becca.[Pg 232] Cyril heard him say—"It's just like having a fortune handed to you."
"Look here," said Cyril, "you can let people come in again in a minute. He's nearly finished tea. But he must be left alone when the sun sets. He's very queer at that time of day, and if he's worried I won't answer for the consequences."
"Listen," Cyril said, "you can let people come back in a minute. He's almost done with his tea. But he has to be left alone when the sun sets. He's really strange at that time of day, and if he's stressed, I can't promise what will happen."
"Why—what comes over him?" asked Bill.
"Why—what's gotten into him?" asked Bill.
"I don't know; it's—it's sort of a change," said Cyril candidly. "He isn't at all like himself—you'd hardly know him. He's very queer indeed. Someone'll get hurt if he's not alone about sunset." This was true.
"I don't know; it's—it's kind of a change," Cyril said honestly. "He doesn't seem like himself at all—you'd hardly recognize him. He's really strange. Someone's going to get hurt if he's not alone around sunset." This was true.
"He'll pull round for the evening, I s'pose?"
"He'll come by for the evening, I guess?"
"Oh yes—half an hour after sunset he'll be quite himself again."
"Oh yes—thirty minutes after sunset he'll be back to his usual self."
"Best humour him," said the woman.
"Better go along with him," said the woman.
And so, at what Cyril judged was about half an hour before sunset, the tent was again closed "whilst the giant gets his supper."
And so, at what Cyril thought was about half an hour before sunset, the tent was closed again "while the giant has his dinner."
The crowd was very merry about the giant's meals and their coming so close together.
The crowd was really excited about the giant's meals and how they were happening so close together.
"Well, he can pick a bit," Bill owned. "You [Pg 233]see he has to eat hearty, being the size he is."
"Well, he can play a little," Bill admitted. "You [Pg 233]see, he has to eat well, considering how big he is."
Inside the tent the four children breathlessly arranged a plan of retreat.
Inside the tent, the four kids quickly came up with a getaway plan.
"You go now," said Cyril to the girls, "and get along home as fast as you can. Oh, never mind the pony-cart; we'll get that to-morrow. Robert and I are dressed the same. We'll manage somehow, like Sydney Carton did. Only, you girls must get out, or it's all no go. We can run, but you can't—whatever you may think. No, Jane, it's no good Robert going out and knocking people down. The police would follow him till he turned his proper size, and then arrest him like a shot. Go you must! If you don't, I'll never speak to you again. It was you got us into this mess really, hanging round people's legs the way you did this morning. Go, I tell you!"
"You girls need to head home now," Cyril said, "and do it as quickly as you can. Don’t worry about the pony-cart; we’ll get that tomorrow. Robert and I are dressed the same. We’ll figure it out, just like Sydney Carton did. But you girls have to leave, or it’s not going to work. We can run, but you can’t—no matter what you think. No, Jane, it’s pointless for Robert to go out and start knocking people down. The police would chase him until he returned to his normal size, and then they'd arrest him in a heartbeat. You really have to go! If you don’t, I swear I’ll never talk to you again. It was your fault we got into this mess, hanging around people’s legs like you did this morning. Just go, I’m telling you!"
And Jane and Anthea went.
And Jane and Anthea left.
"We're going home," they said to Bill. "We're leaving the giant with you. Be kind to him." And that, as Anthea said afterwards, was very deceitful, but what were they to do?[Pg 234]
"We're going home," they told Bill. "We're leaving the giant with you. Please be nice to him." And that, as Anthea mentioned later, was pretty sneaky, but what else could they do?[Pg 234]
When they had gone, Cyril went to Bill.
When they left, Cyril went to Bill.
"Look here," he said, "he wants some ears of corn—there's some in the next field but one. I'll just run and get it. Oh, and he says can't you loop up the tent at the back a bit? He says he's stifling for a breath of air. I'll see no one peeps in at him. I'll cover him up, and he can take a nap while I go for the corn. He will have it—there's no holding him when he gets like this."
"Look," he said, "he wants some ears of corn—there's some in the next field over. I'll just go grab it. Oh, and he said, can you loosen the tent at the back a bit? He says he's suffocating for some fresh air. I'll make sure no one peeks in at him. I'll cover him up so he can take a nap while I go for the corn. He really wants it—there's no stopping him when he gets like this."
The giant was made comfortable with a heap of sacks and an old tarpaulin. The curtain was looped up, and the brothers were left alone. They matured their plan in whispers. Outside, the merry-go-round blared out its comic tunes, screaming now and then to attract public notice.
The giant was settled in with a pile of sacks and an old tarp. The curtain was pulled back, leaving the brothers alone. They quietly developed their plan in whispers. Outside, the carousel played its cheerful tunes, occasionally shouting to grab people’s attention.
Half a minute after the sun had set, a boy came out past Bill.
Half a minute after the sun went down, a boy walked past Bill.
"I'm off for the corn," he said, and mingled quickly with the crowd.
"I'm heading out for the corn," he said, and quickly blended in with the crowd.
At the same instant a boy came out of the back of the tent past 'Becca, posted there as sentinel.[Pg 235]
At that moment, a boy came out from the back of the tent, passing 'Becca, who was stationed there as a guard.[Pg 235]
"I'm off after the corn," said this boy also. And he, too, moved away quietly and was lost in the crowd. The front-door boy was Cyril; the back-door was Robert—now, since sunset, once more his proper size. They walked quickly through the field, along the road, where Robert caught Cyril up. Then they ran. They were home as soon as the girls were, for it was a long way, and they ran most of it. It was indeed a very long way, as they found when they had to go and drag the pony-cart home next morning, with no enormous Robert to wheel them in it as if it were a mail-cart, and they were babies and he was their gigantic nursemaid.
"I'm going after the corn," said the boy. He also moved away quietly and got lost in the crowd. The boy at the front door was Cyril; the one at the back door was Robert—who was now, since sunset, back to his normal size. They walked quickly through the field and along the road, where Robert caught up with Cyril. Then they ran. They got home just as fast as the girls did, because it was a long way, and they ran most of it. It was actually a really long way, as they realized when they had to go and drag the pony cart home the next morning, with no huge Robert to wheel them in it like it was a mail cart, and they were little kids and he was their giant nursemaid.
I cannot possibly tell you what Bill and 'Becca said when they found that the giant had gone. For one thing, I do not know.[Pg 236]
I can't really tell you what Bill and 'Becca said when they discovered that the giant was gone. For one thing, I don’t know.[Pg 236]
CHAPTER IX
GROWN UP
Cyril had once pointed out that ordinary life is full of occasions on which a wish would be most useful. And this thought filled his mind when he happened to wake early on the morning after the morning after Robert had wished to be bigger than the baker's boy, and had been it. The day that lay between these two days had been occupied entirely by getting the governess-cart home from Benenhurst.
Cyril had once observed that everyday life is full of moments when a wish would come in handy. This thought crossed his mind when he woke up early on the morning after the day Robert wished to be bigger than the baker's boy—and actually was. The day in between those two mornings was spent entirely on getting the governess-cart home from Benenhurst.
Cyril dressed hastily; he did not take a bath, because tin baths are so noisy, and he had no wish to rouse Robert, and he slipped off alone, as Anthea had once done, and ran through the dewy morning to the sand-pit. He dug up the Psammead very carefully and kindly, and began the conversation by asking it whether [Pg 237]it still felt any ill effects from the contact with the tears of Robert the day before yesterday. The Psammead was in good temper. It replied politely.
Cyril got dressed quickly; he didn’t take a bath since tin baths are so loud, and he didn’t want to wake Robert. He slipped away by himself, just like Anthea had done once, and ran through the dewy morning to the sand-pit. He carefully and gently dug up the Psammead and started the conversation by asking if [Pg 237] it was still feeling any aftereffects from being in contact with Robert's tears two days ago. The Psammead was in a good mood. It responded politely.
"And now, what can I do for you?" it said. "I suppose you've come here so early to ask for something for yourself—something your brothers and sisters aren't to know about, eh? Now, do be persuaded for your own good! Ask for a good fat Megatherium and have done with it."
"And now, what can I do for you?" it said. "I guess you came here so early to ask for something for yourself—something your siblings aren’t supposed to know about, right? Now, please listen for your own sake! Just ask for a nice, hefty Megatherium and be done with it."
"Thank you—not to-day, I think," said Cyril cautiously. "What I really wanted to say was—you know how you're always wishing for things when you're playing at anything?"
"Thanks—not today, I think," Cyril said carefully. "What I actually wanted to say was—you know how you always wish for things when you’re playing at something?"
"I seldom play," said the Psammead coldly.
"I rarely play," said the Psammead coldly.
"Well, you know what I mean," Cyril went on impatiently. "What I want to say is: won't you let us have our wish just when we think of it, and just where we happen to be? So that we don't have to come and disturb you again," added the crafty Cyril.
"Well, you know what I mean," Cyril continued, sounding frustrated. "What I'm trying to say is: can't you just grant us our wish whenever we think of it, and wherever we are? This way, we won't have to come and bother you again," added the cunning Cyril.
"It'll only end in your wishing for some[Pg 238]thing you don't really want, as you did about the castle," said the Psammead, stretching its brown arms and yawning. "It's always the same since people left off eating really wholesome things. However, have it your own way. Good-bye."
"It'll just leave you hoping for something you don't actually want, like you did with the castle," said the Psammead, stretching its brown arms and yawning. "It's always the same since people stopped eating truly wholesome food. But sure, do what you want. Goodbye."
"Good-bye," said Cyril politely.
"Goodbye," said Cyril politely.
"I'll tell you what," said the Psammead suddenly, shooting out its long snail's eyes,—"I'm getting tired of you—all of you. You have no more sense than so many oysters. Go along with you!"
"I'll tell you what," said the Psammead suddenly, shooting out its long snail's eyes, "I'm getting tired of you—all of you. You have no more sense than a bunch of oysters. Get lost!"
And Cyril went.
And Cyril left.
"What an awful long time babies stay babies," said Cyril after the Lamb had taken his watch out of his pocket while he wasn't noticing, and with coos and clucks of naughty rapture had opened the case and used the whole thing as a garden spade, and when even immersion in a wash basin had failed to wash the mould from the works and make the watch go again. Cyril had said several things in the heat of the moment; but now he was calmer, and had even consented to carry the Lamb part [Pg 239]of the way to the woods. Cyril had persuaded the others to agree to his plan, and not to wish for anything more till they really did wish it. Meantime it seemed good to go to the woods for nuts, and on the mossy grass under a sweet chestnut tree the five were sitting. The Lamb was pulling up the moss by fat handfuls, and Cyril was gloomily contemplating the ruins of his watch.
"What a seriously long time babies stay babies," said Cyril after the Lamb had snatched his watch out of his pocket while he wasn’t paying attention, and with playful coos and clucks had opened the case and used the whole thing as a garden spade. Even after trying to wash the muck from the works in a sink, the watch still wouldn’t work. Cyril had said a lot in the heat of the moment, but now he was calmer and had even agreed to carry the Lamb part [Pg 239] of the way to the woods. Cyril had convinced the others to go along with his plan and not to wish for anything else until they actually did wish it. Meanwhile, it felt nice to go to the woods for nuts, and the five of them were sitting on the mossy grass under a sweet chestnut tree. The Lamb was pulling up the moss by large handfuls, while Cyril was gloomily examining the remains of his watch.
"He does grow," said Anthea. "Doesn't 'oo, precious?"
"He really is growing," said Anthea. "Isn't he, sweetheart?"
"Me grow," said the Lamb cheerfully—"me grow big boy, have guns' an' mouses—an'—an'"—— Imagination or vocabulary gave out here. But anyway it was the longest speech the Lamb had ever made, and it charmed everyone, even Cyril, who tumbled the Lamb over and rolled him in the moss to the music of delighted squeals.
"Me grow," said the Lamb happily—"me grow big boy, have guns and mice—an'—an'"—— His imagination or vocabulary ran out here. But anyway, it was the longest speech the Lamb had ever made, and it captivated everyone, even Cyril, who tumbled the Lamb over and rolled him in the moss to the sound of delighted squeals.
"I suppose he'll be grown up some day," Anthea was saying, dreamily looking up at the blue of the sky that showed between the long straight chestnut-leaves. But at that moment the Lamb, struggling gaily with Cyril, thrust [Pg 240]a stout-shod little foot against his brother's chest; there was a crack!—the innocent Lamb had broken the glass of father's second-best Waterbury watch, which Cyril had borrowed without leave.
"I guess he'll be grown up someday," Anthea said, dreamily gazing up at the blue sky peeking through the long, straight chestnut leaves. But at that moment, the Lamb, playfully wrestling with Cyril, kicked his brother in the chest with a sturdy little foot; there was a crack!—the innocent Lamb had broken the glass of their father's second-best Waterbury watch, which Cyril had borrowed without permission.
"Grow up some day!" said Cyril bitterly, plumping the Lamb down on the grass. "I daresay he will—when nobody wants him to. I wish to goodness he would"—
"Grow up someday!" Cyril said bitterly, dropping the Lamb onto the grass. "I’m sure he will—when nobody wants him to. I really wish he would."
"Oh, take care!" cried Anthea in an agony of apprehension. But it was too late—like music to a song her words and Cyril's came out together—
"Oh, be careful!" cried Anthea in a panic. But it was too late—like music to a song, her words and Cyril's came out together—
Anthea—"Oh, take care!"
Anthea—"Oh, be careful!"
Cyril—"Grow up now!"
Cyril—"Time to grow up!"
The faithful Psammead was true to its promise, and there, before the horrified eyes of its brothers and sisters, the Lamb suddenly and violently grew up. It was the most terrible moment. The change was not so sudden as the wish-changes usually were. The Baby's face changed first. It grew thinner and larger, lines came in the forehead, the eyes grew more deep-set and darker in colour, the [Pg 241]mouth grew longer and thinner; most terrible of all, a little dark mustache appeared on the lip of one who was still—except as to the face—a two-year-old baby in a linen smock and white open-work socks.
The loyal Psammead kept its promise, and there, before the shocked eyes of its siblings, the Lamb suddenly and dramatically transformed into an adult. It was an incredibly frightening moment. The change wasn’t as quick as the usual transformation wishes. First, the Baby’s face altered. It became thinner and larger, lines formed on the forehead, the eyes became deeper set and darker, the [Pg 241]mouth elongated and thinned; most horrifyingly, a small dark mustache appeared on the lip of someone who was still—apart from the face—a two-year-old baby in a linen smock and white open-work socks.
"Oh, I wish it wouldn't! Oh, I wish it wouldn't! You boys might wish as well!"
"Oh, I hope it doesn’t! Oh, I hope it doesn’t! You guys might hope so too!"
They all wished hard, for the sight was enough to dismay the most heartless. They all wished so hard, indeed, that they felt quite giddy and almost lost consciousness; but the wishing was quite vain, for, when the wood ceased to whirl round, their dazed eyes were riveted at once by the spectacle of a very proper-looking young man in flannels and a straw hat—a young man who wore the same little black mustache which just before they had actually seen growing upon the Baby's lip. This, then, was the Lamb—grown up! Their own Lamb! It was a terrible moment. The grown-up Lamb moved gracefully across the moss and settled himself against the trunk of the sweet chestnut. He tilted the straw hat over his eyes. He was evi[Pg 242]dently weary. He was going to sleep. The Lamb—the original little tiresome beloved Lamb often went to sleep at odd times and in unexpected places. Was this new Lamb in the grey flannel suit and the pale green necktie like the other Lamb? or had his mind grown up together with his body?
They all wished really hard, because the sight was enough to scare even the coldest of hearts. They wished so intensely that they felt dizzy and nearly fainted; but their wishing was completely useless, because when the spinning stopped, their dazed eyes were immediately fixed on a very proper-looking young man in a flannel outfit and a straw hat—a young man who had the same little black mustache that they had just seen growing on the Baby's lip. So, this was the Lamb—grown up! Their own Lamb! It was an awful moment. The grown-up Lamb moved smoothly across the moss and leaned back against the trunk of the sweet chestnut tree. He tilted the straw hat over his eyes. He looked clearly tired. He was about to fall asleep. The Lamb—the original little annoying but beloved Lamb often fell asleep at odd times and in unexpected places. Was this new Lamb in the gray flannel suit and pale green tie like the old one? Or had his mind grown up along with his body?
That was the question which the others, in a hurried council held among the yellowing brake-fern a few yards from the sleeper, debated eagerly.
That was the question the others debated eagerly in a quick meeting held among the fading brake ferns a few yards from the sleeper.
"Whichever it is, it'll be just as awful," said Anthea. "If his inside senses are grown up too, he won't stand our looking after him; and if he's still a baby inside of him how on earth are we to get him to do anything? And it'll be getting on for dinner-time in a minute."
"Whatever the case, it’s going to be just as terrible," Anthea said. "If he’s mature inside too, he won’t tolerate us taking care of him; and if he’s still a baby on the inside, how are we supposed to get him to do anything? And it’s almost dinner time."
"And we haven't got any nuts," said Jane.
"And we don't have any nuts," said Jane.
"Oh bother nuts!" said Robert, "but dinner's different—I didn't have half enough dinner yesterday. Couldn't we tie him to the tree and go home to our dinner and come back afterwards?"[Pg 243]
"Oh, come on!" said Robert, "but dinner's different—I didn't have nearly enough dinner yesterday. Can't we tie him to the tree and head home for dinner and come back later?"[Pg 243]
"A fat lot of dinner we should get if we went back without the Lamb!" said Cyril in scornful misery. "And it'll be just the same if we go back with him in the state he is now. Yes, I know it's my doing; don't rub it in! I know I'm a beast, and not fit to live; you can take that for settled, and say no more about it. The question is, what are we going to do?"
"A huge dinner we'll miss out on if we go back without the Lamb!" said Cyril in frustrated misery. "And it'll be just as bad if we return with him like this. Yeah, I know it's my fault; no need to remind me! I get that I'm a jerk and not worth much; you can take that as a fact and let's not dwell on it. The question is, what are we going to do?"
"Let's wake him up, and take him into Rochester or Maidstone and get something to eat at a baker's shop," said Robert hopefully.
"Let’s wake him up and take him to Rochester or Maidstone to grab something to eat at a bakery," said Robert optimistically.
"Take him?" repeated Cyril. "Yes—do! It's all my fault—I don't deny that—but you'll find you've got your work cut out for you if you try to take that young man anywhere. The Lamb always was spoilt, but now he's grown up he's a demon—simply. I can see it. Look at his mouth."
"Take him?" Cyril repeated. "Yes—go ahead! It's all my fault—I won't deny that—but you'll see you've got your work cut out for you if you try to take that young man anywhere. The Lamb was always spoiled, but now that he's grown up, he's a real demon—no doubt about it. I can see it. Just look at his mouth."
"Well then," said Robert, "let's wake him up and see what he'll do. Perhaps he'll take us to Maidstone and stand treat. He ought to have a lot of money in the pockets of those [Pg 244]extra-special pants. We must have dinner, anyway."
"Alright then," said Robert, "let's wake him up and see what he'll do. Maybe he'll take us to Maidstone and treat us. He should have a lot of cash in the pockets of those extra-special pants. We definitely need to have dinner, anyway."
They drew lots with little bits of brake fern. It fell to Jane's lot to waken the grown-up Lamb.
They drew lots using small pieces of brake fern. It was Jane's turn to wake up the grown-up Lamb.
She did it gently by tickling his nose with a twig of honeysuckle. He said "Bother the flies!" twice, and then opened his eyes.
She did it softly by tickling his nose with a honeysuckle twig. He muttered "Bother the flies!" twice, then opened his eyes.
"Hullo, kiddies!" he said in a languid tone, "still here? What's the giddy hour? You'll be late for your grub!"
"Hey, kids!" he said in a relaxed tone, "still around? What time is it? You’re going to be late for your food!"
"I know we shall," said Robert bitterly.
"I know we will," Robert said bitterly.
"Then cut along home," said the grown-up Lamb.
"Then head back home," said the adult Lamb.
"What about your grub, though?" asked Jane.
"What about your food, though?" asked Jane.
"Oh, how far is it to the station, do you think? I've a sort of a notion that I'll run up to town and have some lunch at the club."
"Oh, how far do you think it is to the station? I’m thinking I’ll head into town and grab some lunch at the club."
Blank misery fell like a pall on the four others. The Lamb—alone—unattended—would go to town and have lunch at a club! Perhaps he would also have tea there. Perhaps sunset would come upon him amid the [Pg 245]dazzling luxury of club-land, and a helpless cross sleepy baby would find itself alone amid unsympathetic waiters, and would wail miserably for "Panty" from the depths of a club arm-chair! The picture moved Anthea almost to tears.
A heavy sadness fell over the other four. The Lamb—alone—without anyone to keep him company—would go to town and have lunch at a club! Maybe he would even have tea there. Perhaps sunset would catch him in the [Pg 245] dazzling luxury of the club scene, while a helpless, sleepy baby would find itself alone among indifferent waiters, crying miserably for "Panty" from the depths of a club armchair! The thought nearly brought Anthea to tears.
"Oh no, Lamb ducky, you mustn't do that!" she cried incautiously.
"Oh no, Lamb ducky, you can't do that!" she exclaimed recklessly.
The grown-up Lamb frowned. "My dear Anthea," he said, "how often am I to tell you that my name is Hilary or St. Maur or Devereux?—any of my baptismal names are free to my little brothers and sisters, but not 'Lamb'—a relic of foolishness and far-off childhood."
The adult Lamb frowned. "My dear Anthea," he said, "how many times do I have to tell you that my name is Hilary or St. Maur or Devereux?—you can use any of my real names, but not 'Lamb'—that's just a silly reminder of my childhood."
This was awful. He was their elder brother now, was he? Well of course he was, if he was grown-up—since they weren't. Thus, in whispers, Anthea and Robert.
This was terrible. He was their older brother now, right? Well, of course he was, since he was an adult—because they weren’t. So, in whispers, Anthea and Robert.
But the almost daily adventures resulting from the Psammead's wishes were making the children wise beyond their years.
But the nearly daily adventures that came from the Psammead's wishes were making the kids wise beyond their years.
"Dear Hilary," said Anthea, and the others choked at the name, "you know father didn't [Pg 246]wish you to go to London. He wouldn't like us to be left alone without you to take care of us. Oh, deceitful thing that I am!" she added to herself.
"Dear Hilary," said Anthea, and the others gasped at the name, "you know Dad didn’t [Pg 246]want you to go to London. He wouldn't want us to be left alone without you to look after us. Oh, what a deceitful person I am!" she added to herself.
"Look here," said Cyril, "if you're our elder brother, why not behave as sich and take us over to Maidstone and give us a jolly good blow-out, and we'll go on the river afterwards?"
"Listen," said Cyril, "if you’re our older brother, why not act like it and take us to Maidstone for a fun day out, and then we can go on the river afterwards?"
"I'm infinitely obliged to you," said the Lamb courteously, "but I should prefer solitude. Go home to your lunch—I mean your dinner. Perhaps I may look in about tea-time—or I may not be home till after you are in your beds."
"I'm really grateful to you," the Lamb said politely, "but I’d rather be alone. Go home for your lunch—I mean your dinner. Maybe I'll stop by around tea-time—or I might not be back until after you’re in bed."
Their beds! Speaking glances flashed between the wretched four. Much bed there would be for them if they went home without the Lamb.
Their beds! Quick, understanding looks exchanged among the miserable four. There wouldn’t be much sleep for them if they returned home without the Lamb.
"We promised mother not to lose sight of you if we took you out," Jane said before the others could stop her.
"We promised Mom we wouldn't lose track of you if we took you out," Jane said before the others could stop her.
"Look here, Jane," said the grown-up Lamb, putting his hands in his pockets and [Pg 247]looking down at her, "little girls should be seen and not heard. You kids must learn not to make yourselves a nuisance. Run along home now—and perhaps, if you're good, I'll give you each a penny to-morrow."
"Listen, Jane," said the adult Lamb, putting his hands in his pockets and [Pg 247]looking down at her, "little girls should be seen and not heard. You kids need to learn not to be a bother. Go on home now—and maybe, if you behave, I'll give you each a penny tomorrow."
"Look here," said Cyril, in the best "man to man" tone at his command, "where are you going, old man? You might let Bobs and me come with you—even if you don't want the girls."
"Hey," Cyril said, with his best "man to man" tone, "where are you headed, old man? You could let Bobs and me tag along—even if you don't want the girls."
This was really rather noble of Cyril, for he never did care much about being seen in public with the Lamb, who of course after sunset would be a baby again.
This was actually quite noble of Cyril, since he never really liked being seen in public with the Lamb, who, of course, would turn back into a baby after sunset.
The "man to man" tone succeeded.
The "man to man" tone worked.
"I shall run over to Maidstone on my bike," said the new Lamb airily, fingering the little black mustache. "I can lunch at The Crown—and perhaps I'll have a pull on the river; but I can't take you all on the machine—now, can I? Run along home, like good children."
"I'll ride over to Maidstone on my bike," said the new Lamb casually, playing with his little black mustache. "I can grab lunch at The Crown—and maybe I'll even go for a boat ride; but I can't take all of you on the bike—with me, right? Go on home, like good kids."
The position was desperate. Robert exchanged a despairing look with Cyril. An[Pg 248]thea detached a pin from her waistband, a pin whose withdrawal left a gaping chasm between skirt and bodice, and handed it furtively to Robert—with a grimace of the darkest and deepest meaning. Robert slipped away to the road. There, sure enough, stood a bicycle—a beautiful new one. Of course Robert understood at once that if the Lamb was grown up he must have a bicycle.
The situation was desperate. Robert exchanged a hopeless glance with Cyril. An[Pg 248]thea pulled a pin from her waistband, leaving a noticeable gap between her skirt and bodice, and handed it to Robert quietly—with a grimace full of significance. Robert slipped away to the road. There, sure enough, stood a bicycle—a stunning new one. Robert immediately realized that if the Lamb had grown up, he had to have a bicycle.
This had always been one of Robert's own reasons for wishing to be grown-up. He hastily began to use the pin—eleven punctures in the back tyre, seven in the front. He would have made the total twenty-two but for the rustling of the yellow hazel-leaves, which warned him of the approach of the others. He hastily leaned a hand on each wheel, and was rewarded by the "whish" of the what was left of air escaping from eighteen neat pin-holes.
This had always been one of Robert's reasons for wanting to be grown-up. He quickly started using the pin—eleven punctures in the back tire, seven in the front. He would have made the total twenty-two if it weren't for the rustling of the yellow hazel leaves, which alerted him to the approach of the others. He quickly leaned a hand on each wheel and was rewarded by the "whoosh" of what was left of the air escaping from eighteen neat pinholes.
"Your bike's run down," said Robert, wondering how he could so soon have learned to deceive.[Pg 249]
"Your bike's in bad shape," said Robert, wondering how he had managed to learn to lie so quickly.[Pg 249]
"So it is," said Cyril.
"That's right," said Cyril.
"It's a puncture," said Anthea, stooping down, and standing up again with a thorn which she had got ready for the purpose.
"It's a puncture," Anthea said, bending down and then standing up again with a thorn she had prepared for this.
"Look here."
"Check this out."
The grown-up Lamb (or Hilary, as I suppose one must now call him) fixed his pump and blew up the tyre. The punctured state of it was soon evident.
The adult Lamb (or Hilary, as I guess we should now refer to him) repaired his bike pump and inflated the tire. It quickly became clear that it was punctured.
"I suppose there's a cottage somewhere near—where one could get a pail of water?" said the Lamb.
"I guess there's a cottage nearby—where you can get a bucket of water?" said the Lamb.
There was; and when the number of punctures had been made manifest, it was felt to be a special blessing that the cottage provided "teas for cyclists." It provided an odd sort of tea-and-hammy meal for the Lamb and his brothers. This was paid for out of the fifteen shillings which had been earned by Robert when he was a giant—for the Lamb, it appeared, had unfortunately no money about him. This was a great disappointment for the others; but it is a thing that will happen, even to the most grown-up of us.[Pg 250] However, Robert had enough to eat, and that was something. Quietly but persistently the miserable four took it in turns to try and persuade the Lamb (or St. Maur) to spend the rest of the day in the woods. There was not very much of the day left by the time he had mended the eighteenth puncture. He looked up from the completed work with a sigh of relief, and suddenly put his tie straight.
There was, and when the number of flat tires became clear, everyone felt it was a special blessing that the cottage offered "teas for cyclists." It served a strange kind of tea-and-ham sandwich meal for the Lamb and his brothers. This was paid for with the fifteen shillings Robert had earned when he was a giant—unfortunately, the Lamb had no money on him. This was a big letdown for the others, but it’s something that can happen to even the most grown-up among us.[Pg 250] However, Robert had enough to eat, and that was something. Quietly but persistently, the miserable four took turns trying to convince the Lamb (or St. Maur) to spend the rest of the day in the woods. There wasn't much of the day left by the time he fixed the eighteenth flat. He looked up from his work with a sigh of relief and straightened his tie.
"There's a lady coming," he said briskly,—"for goodness' sake, get out of the way. Go home—hide—vanish somehow! I can't be seen with a pack of dirty kids." His brothers and sisters were indeed rather dirty, because, earlier in the day, the Lamb, in his infant state, had sprinkled a good deal of garden soil over them. The grown-up Lamb's voice was so tyrant-like, as Jane said afterwards, that they actually retreated to the back garden, and left him with his little mustache and his flannel suit to meet alone the young lady, who now came up the front garden wheeling a bicycle.[Pg 251]
"There's a lady coming," he said quickly, "for goodness' sake, get out of the way. Go home—hide—disappear somehow! I can't be seen with a bunch of dirty kids." His siblings were indeed pretty dirty because, earlier in the day, the little Lamb had sprinkled a lot of garden soil over them. The older Lamb's voice was so bossy, as Jane later mentioned, that they actually retreated to the back garden, leaving him with his little mustache and his flannel suit to face the young lady, who was now coming up the front garden riding a bicycle.[Pg 251]
The woman of the house came out, and the young lady spoke to her,—the Lamb raised his hat as she passed him,—and the children could not hear what she said, though they were craning round the corner and listening with all their ears. They felt it to be "perfectly fair," as Robert said, "with that wretched Lamb in that condition."
The woman of the house stepped outside, and the young lady greeted her. The Lamb tipped his hat as she walked by, and the kids couldn’t hear what she said, even though they were peeking around the corner, listening intently. They thought it was "totally unfair," as Robert put it, "with that miserable Lamb in that state."
When the Lamb spoke, in a languid voice heavy with politeness, they heard well enough.
When the Lamb spoke in a slow, polite voice, they understood perfectly.
"A puncture?" he was saying. "Can I not be of any assistance? If you could allow me——?"
"A flat tire?" he was saying. "Can I help with anything? If you could let me——?"
There was a stifled explosion of laughter and the grown-up Lamb (otherwise Devereux) turned the tail of an angry eye in its direction.
There was a suppressed burst of laughter, and the adult Lamb (also known as Devereux) shot an irritated glance in that direction.
"You're very kind," said the lady, looking at the Lamb. She looked rather shy, but, as the boys put it, there didn't seem to be any nonsense about her.
"You're really nice," said the lady, looking at the Lamb. She seemed a bit shy, but, as the boys would say, she didn't seem to have any nonsense about her.
"But oh," whispered Cyril, "I should have thought he'd had enough bicycle-mending [Pg 252]for one day—and if she only knew that really and truly he's only a whiny-piny, silly little baby!"
"But oh," whispered Cyril, "I should have thought he would have had enough bike repairs [Pg 252] for one day—and if she only knew that honestly, he's just a whiny, silly little baby!"
"He's not," Anthea murmured angrily. "He's a dear—if people only let him alone. It's our own precious Lamb still, whatever silly idiots may turn him into—isn't he, Pussy?"
"He's not," Anthea murmured angrily. "He's a sweetheart—if people would just leave him alone. He’s still our precious Lamb, no matter what foolish people may try to change him into—right, Pussy?"
Jane doubtfully supposed so.
Jane thought so, but hesitantly.
Now, the Lamb—whom I must try to remember to call St. Maur—was examining the lady's bicycle and talking to her with a very grown-up manner indeed. No one could possibly have supposed, to see and hear him, that only that very morning he had been a chubby child of two years breaking other people's Waterbury watches. Devereux (as he ought to be called for the future) took out a gold watch when he had mended the lady's bicycle, and all the hidden onlookers said "Oh!"—because it seemed so unfair that the Baby, who had only that morning destroyed two cheap but honest watches, should now, in the grown-upness to which Cyril's folly [Pg 253]had raised him, have a real gold watch—with a chain and seals!
Now, the Lamb—who I need to remember to call St. Maur—was checking out the lady's bicycle and chatting with her in a very mature way. No one would have guessed, based on what they saw and heard, that just that morning he had been a pudgy two-year-old breaking other people's Waterbury watches. Devereux (as he should be called from now on) took out a gold watch after fixing the lady's bicycle, and all the hidden observers gasped "Oh!"—because it seemed so unfair that the Baby, who had only that morning ruined two cheap but decent watches, should now, in the adult-like state that Cyril's foolishness [Pg 253]had put him in, have a real gold watch—with a chain and seals!
Hilary (as I will now term him) withered his brothers and sisters with a glance, and then said to the lady—with whom he seemed to be quite friendly—
Hilary (as I will now call him) silenced his brothers and sisters with a look, and then spoke to the lady—who he appeared to be quite friendly with—
"If you will allow me, I will ride with you as far as the Cross Roads; it is getting late, and there are tramps about."
"If you let me, I’ll ride with you to the Cross Roads; it’s getting late, and there are some rough characters around."
No one will ever know what answer the young lady intended to give to this gallant offer, for, directly Anthea heard it made, she rushed out, knocking against a swill pail, which overflowed in a turbid stream, and caught the Lamb (I suppose I ought to say Hilary) by the arm. The others followed, and in an instant the four dirty children were visible beyond disguise.
No one will ever know what response the young lady was planning to give to this charming offer, because as soon as Anthea heard it, she dashed out, bumping into a swill bucket that spilled over in a muddy stream, and grabbed the Lamb (I guess I should say Hilary) by the arm. The others followed, and in a moment, the four messy kids were clearly visible.
"Don't let him," said Anthea to the lady, and she spoke with intense earnestness; "he's not fit to go with anyone!"
"Don't let him," Anthea said to the woman, her voice full of determination. "He's not good enough to be with anyone!"
"Go away, little girl!" said St. Maur (as we will now call him) in a terrible voice.
"Go away, little girl!" said St. Maur (as we will now call him) in a terrible voice.
"You'd much better not have anything to do with him," the now reckless Anthea went on. "He doesn't know who he is. He's something very different from what you think he is."
"You really shouldn't get involved with him," Anthea, now acting recklessly, continued. "He has no idea who he is. He's not at all like what you think."
"What do you mean?" asked the lady, not unnaturally, while Devereux (as I must term the grown-up Lamb) tried vainly to push Anthea away. The others backed her up, and she stood solid as a rock.
"What do you mean?" asked the lady, understandably, while Devereux (as I have to call the adult Lamb) tried unsuccessfully to push Anthea away. The others supported her, and she stood firm like a rock.
"You just let him go with you," said Anthea, "you'll soon see what I mean! How would you like to suddenly see a poor little helpless baby spinning along downhill beside you with its feet up on a bicycle it had lost control of?"
"You just let him go with you," Anthea said, "and you'll soon see what I mean! How would you feel if you suddenly saw a poor little helpless baby rolling downhill next to you with its feet up on a bike it had lost control of?"
The lady had turned rather pale.
The woman had become quite pale.
"Who are these very dirty children?" she asked the grown-up Lamb (sometimes called St. Maur in these pages).
"Who are these extremely dirty kids?" she asked the adult Lamb (sometimes referred to as St. Maur in this text).
"I don't know," he lied miserably.
"I don't know," he said, feeling miserable.
"Oh, Lamb! how can you?" cried Jane,—"when you know perfectly well you're our own little baby brother that we're so fond of.[Pg 255] We're his big brothers and sisters," she explained, turning to the lady, who with trembling hands was now turning her bicycle towards the gate, "and we've got to take care of him. And we must get him home before sunset, or I don't know whatever will become of us. You see, he's sort of under a spell—enchanted—you know what I mean!"
"Oh, Lamb! How can you?" cried Jane, "when you know very well that you're our own little baby brother that we love so much.[Pg 255] We're his big brothers and sisters," she explained, turning to the lady, who with trembling hands was now turning her bicycle towards the gate, "and we have to take care of him. We need to get him home before sunset, or I don't know what will happen to us. You see, he's kind of under a spell—enchanted—you know what I mean!"
Again and again the Lamb (Devereux, I mean) had tried to stop Jane's eloquence, but Robert and Cyril held him, one by each leg, and no proper explanation was possible. The lady rode hastily away, and electrified her relatives at dinner by telling them of her escape from a family of dangerous lunatics. "The little girl's eyes were simply those of a maniac. I can't think how she came to be at large," she said.
Once again, the Lamb (I mean Devereux) tried to interrupt Jane's chatter, but Robert and Cyril each grabbed one of his legs, making it impossible to explain. The lady hurried off and stunned her relatives at dinner by sharing her story of escaping a family of dangerous lunatics. "That little girl's eyes were just like a maniac's. I can't believe she was allowed to roam free," she said.
When her bicycle had whizzed away down the road, Cyril spoke gravely.
When her bicycle zoomed down the road, Cyril spoke seriously.
"Hilary, old chap," he said, "you must have had a sunstroke or something. And the things you've been saying to that lady! Why, if we were to tell you the things you've said [Pg 256]when you are yourself again, say to-morrow morning, you wouldn't ever understand them—let alone believe them! You trust to me, old chap, and come home now, and if you're not yourself in the morning we'll ask the milkman to ask the doctor to come."
"Hilary, my old friend," he said, "you must be overheated or something. And the things you've been saying to that lady! Honestly, if we told you what you've said [Pg 256] when you’re feeling like yourself again, say tomorrow morning, you wouldn’t even understand them—much less believe them! Just trust me, my friend, and let’s go home now, and if you’re still not yourself in the morning, we’ll ask the milkman to call the doctor."
The poor grown-up Lamb (St. Maur was really one of his Christian names) seemed now too bewildered to resist.
The grown-up Lamb (St. Maur was actually one of his Christian names) now seemed too confused to fight back.
"Since you seem all to be as mad as the whole worshipful company of hatters," he said bitterly, "I suppose I had better take you home. But you're not to suppose I shall pass this over. I shall have something to say to you all to-morrow morning."
"Since you all seem as crazy as the entire respectable group of hat makers," he said with bitterness, "I guess I’d better take you home. But don’t think I’m going to let this slide. I’ll have something to say to all of you tomorrow morning."
"Yes, you will, my Lamb," said Anthea under her breath, "but it won't be at all the sort of thing you think it's going to be."
"Yes, you will, my Lamb," Anthea whispered, "but it won't be at all like what you think it will be."
In her heart she could hear the pretty, soft little loving voice of the baby Lamb—so different from the affected tones of the dreadful grown-up Lamb (one of whose names was Devereux)—saying, "Me love Panty—wants to come to own Panty."[Pg 257]
In her heart, she could hear the sweet, soft little loving voice of the baby Lamb—so different from the pretentious tones of the dreadful grown-up Lamb (one of whose names was Devereux)—saying, "I love Panty—I want to be with Panty." [Pg 257]
"Oh, let's go home, for goodness' sake," she said. "You shall say whatever you like in the morning—if you can," she added in a whisper.
"Oh, let's go home, for goodness' sake," she said. "You can say whatever you want in the morning—if you can," she added in a whisper.
It was a gloomy party that went home through the soft evening. During Anthea's remarks Robert had again made play with the pin and the bicycle tyre, and the Lamb (whom they had to call St. Maur or Devereux or Hilary) seemed really at last to have had his fill of bicycle-mending. So the machine was wheeled.
It was a dreary party that headed home through the gentle evening. While Anthea was talking, Robert had once again been fiddling with the pin and the bicycle tire, and the Lamb (who they had to call St. Maur or Devereux or Hilary) finally seemed to have had enough of fixing bicycles. So, the bike was wheeled away.
The sun was just on the point of setting when they arrived at the White House. The four elder children would have liked to linger in the lane till the complete sunsetting turned the grown-up Lamb (whose Christian names I will not further weary you by repeating) into their own dear tiresome baby brother. But he, in his grown-upness, insisted on going on, and thus he was met in the front garden by Martha.
The sun was about to set when they got to the White House. The four older kids wanted to hang out in the lane until the sunset turned their annoying baby brother Lamb into the grown-up version of himself (which I won't bother you with repeating). But he, being all grown up, insisted on moving forward, and so he was greeted in the front yard by Martha.
Now you remember that, as a special favour, the Psammead had arranged that the servants [Pg 258]in the house should never notice any change brought about by the wishes of the children. Therefore Martha merely saw the usual party, with the baby Lamb, about whom she had been desperately anxious all the afternoon, trotting beside Anthea, on fat baby legs, while the children, of course, still saw the grown-up Lamb (never mind what names he was christened by), and Martha rushed at him and caught him in her arms, exclaiming—
Now you remember that, as a special favor, the Psammead had arranged for the servants [Pg 258]in the house to never notice any changes caused by the children's wishes. So, Martha just saw the usual group, with the baby Lamb, whom she had been really worried about all afternoon, waddling beside Anthea on chubby baby legs, while the kids, of course, still saw the grown-up Lamb (it doesn't matter what names he was given), and Martha rushed over to him and scooped him up in her arms, exclaiming—
"Come to his own Martha, then—a precious poppet!"
"Come to his own Martha, then—a precious doll!"
The grown-up Lamb (whose names shall now be buried in oblivion) struggled furiously. An expression of intense horror and annoyance was seen on his face. But Martha was stronger than he. She lifted him up and carried him into the house. None of the children will ever forget that picture. The neat grey-flannel-suited grown-up young man with the green necktie and the little black mustache—fortunately, he was slightly built, and not tall—struggling in the sturdy arms [Pg 259]of Martha, who bore him away helpless, imploring him, as she went, to be a good boy now, and come and have his nice bremmink! Fortunately, the sun set as they reached the doorstep, the bicycle disappeared, and Martha was seen to carry into the house the real live darling sleepy two-year-old Lamb. The grown-up Lamb (nameless henceforth) was gone for ever.
The grown-up Lamb (whose name shall now be forgotten) struggled intensively. His face showed a mix of horror and annoyance. But Martha was stronger than he was. She picked him up and took him inside the house. None of the kids will ever forget that scene. The well-dressed young man in a gray suit, green tie, and little black mustache—thankfully, he was on the shorter side and not very big—struggling in the strong arms of Martha, who carried him off helplessly while gently urging him to be a good boy now and come have his nice bremmink! Luckily, the sun set just as they reached the doorstep, the bicycle disappeared, and Martha was seen carrying the real live sweet, sleepy two-year-old Lamb into the house. The grown-up Lamb (nameless from now on) was gone forever.
"For ever," said Cyril, "because, as soon as ever the Lamb's old enough to be bullied, we must jolly well begin to bully him, for his own sake—so that he mayn't grow up like that."
"For ever," said Cyril, "because as soon as the Lamb is old enough to be pushed around, we need to start pushing him around for his own good—so he doesn't end up like that."
"You shan't bully him," said Anthea stoutly,—"not if I can stop it."
"You won't bully him," Anthea said firmly, "not if I can stop it."
"We must tame him by kindness," said Jane.
"We need to tame him with kindness," Jane said.
"You see," said Robert, "if he grows up in the usual way, there'll be plenty of time to correct him as he goes along. The awful thing to-day was his growing up so suddenly. There was no time to improve him at all."
"You see," said Robert, "if he grows up like normal, there'll be plenty of time to correct him as he goes along. The terrible thing today was how quickly he grew up. There was no time to help him at all."
"He doesn't want any improving," said An[Pg 260]thea as the voice of the Lamb came cooing through the open door, just as she had heard it in her heart that afternoon—
"He doesn't want to get any better," said An[Pg 260]thea as the voice of the Lamb floated in through the open door, just as she had felt it in her heart that afternoon—
CHAPTER X
SCALPS
Probably the day would have been a greater success if Cyril had not been reading The Last of the Mohicans. The story was running in his head at breakfast, and as he took his third cup of tea he said dreamily, "I wish there were Red Indians in England—not big ones, you know, but little ones, just about the right size for us to fight."
Probably the day would have been a greater success if Cyril hadn't been reading The Last of the Mohicans. The story was playing in his mind at breakfast, and as he took his third cup of tea, he said dreamily, "I wish there were Native Americans in England—not big ones, you know, but little ones, just about the right size for us to fight."
Everyone disagreed with him at the time and no one attached any importance to the incident. But when they went down to the sand-pit to ask for a hundred pounds in two-shilling pieces with Queen Victoria's head on, to prevent mistakes—which they had always felt to be a really reasonable wish that must turn out well—they found out that they had done it again! For the Psammead, which was very cross and sleepy, said—[Pg 262]
Everyone disagreed with him back then, and no one thought the incident was important. But when they went down to the sand-pit to ask for a hundred pounds in two-shilling coins featuring Queen Victoria's head to avoid any mistakes—which they had always believed was a perfectly reasonable request that would work out well—they found out that they had messed up again! The Psammead, who was very grumpy and drowsy, said—[Pg 262]
"Oh, don't bother me. You've had your wish."
"Oh, don't annoy me. You got what you wanted."
"I didn't know it," said Cyril.
"I didn't know that," Cyril said.
"Don't you remember yesterday?" said the Sand-fairy, still more disagreeably. "You asked me to let you have your wishes wherever you happened to be, and you wished this morning, and you've got it."
"Don't you remember yesterday?" said the Sand-fairy, even more unpleasantly. "You asked me to grant your wishes no matter where you were, and you wished this morning, and now you have it."
"Oh, have we?" said Robert. "What is it?"
"Oh, have we?" Robert asked. "What is it?"
"So you've forgotten?" said the Psammead, beginning to burrow. "Never mind; you'll know soon enough. And I wish you joy of it! A nice thing you've let yourselves in for!"
"So you've forgotten?" said the Psammead, starting to dig. "No worries; you'll find out soon enough. And congratulations on that! You've really gotten yourselves into something good!"
"We always do somehow," said Jane sadly.
"We always manage to, somehow," Jane said sadly.
And now the odd thing was that no one could remember anyone's having wished for anything that morning. The wish about the Red Indians had not stuck in anyone's head. It was a most anxious morning. Everyone was trying to remember what had been wished for, and no one could, and everyone kept expecting something awful to happen every minute. It was most agitating; they [Pg 263]knew from what the Psammead had said, that they must have wished for something more than usually undesirable, and they spent several hours in most agonizing uncertainty. It was not till nearly dinner-time that Jane tumbled over The Last of the Mohicans,—which had of course, been left face downwards on the floor,—and when Anthea had picked her and the book up she suddenly said, "I know!" and sat down flat on the carpet.
And the strange thing was that nobody could remember anyone wishing for anything that morning. The wish about the Red Indians hadn’t stuck in anyone’s mind. It was a really tense morning. Everyone was trying to recall what had been wished for, but no one could remember, and everyone was bracing for something terrible to happen any minute. It was incredibly nerve-wracking; they [Pg 263] knew from what the Psammead had said that they must have wished for something particularly undesirable, and they spent several hours in agonizing uncertainty. It wasn’t until nearly dinner time that Jane stumbled upon The Last of the Mohicans, which had, of course, been left face down on the floor. When Anthea picked her and the book up, she suddenly exclaimed, "I know!" and plopped down flat on the carpet.
"Oh, Pussy, how awful! It was Indians he wished for—Cyril—at breakfast, don't you remember? He said, 'I wish there were Red Indians in England,'—and now there are, and they're going about scalping people all over the country, as likely as not."
"Oh, Pussy, how terrible! He wanted Indians—Cyril—at breakfast, don’t you remember? He said, 'I wish there were Native Americans in England,'—and now there are, and they’re out there scalping people all over the country, probably."
"Perhaps they're only in Northumberland and Durham," said Jane soothingly. It was almost impossible to believe that it could really hurt people much to be scalped so far away as that.
"Maybe they're just in Northumberland and Durham," Jane said gently. It was hard to believe that being scalped could really hurt people from such a distance.
"Don't you believe it!" said Anthea. "The Sammyadd said we'd let ourselves in for a [Pg 264]nice thing. That means they'll come here. And suppose they scalped the Lamb!"
"Don't believe it!" said Anthea. "The Sammyadd said we'd get ourselves into a [Pg 264]mess. That means they'll come here. And what if they scalped the Lamb!"
"Perhaps the scalping would come right again at sunset," said Jane; but she did not speak so hopefully as usual.
"Maybe the scalping will fix itself again at sunset," Jane said; but she didn't sound as hopeful as usual.
"Not it!" said Anthea. "The things that grow out of the wishes don't go. Look at the fifteen shillings! Pussy, I'm going to break something, and you must let me have every penny of money you've got. The Indians will come here, don't you see? That Spiteful Psammead as good as said so. You see what my plan is? Come on!"
"Not it!" said Anthea. "The things that come from the wishes don't just disappear. Look at the fifteen shillings! Pussy, I'm going to break something, and you have to give me every penny you have. The Indians will come here, don’t you get it? That Spiteful Psammead basically said so. Do you see what my plan is? Let’s go!"
Jane did not see at all. But she followed her sister meekly into mother's bedroom.
Jane didn't see anything at all. But she quietly followed her sister into their mother's bedroom.
Anthea lifted down the heavy water-jug—it had a pattern of storks and long grasses on it, which Anthea never forgot. She carried it into the dressing-room, and carefully emptied the water out of it into the bath. Then she took the jug back into the bedroom and dropped it on the floor. You know how a jug always breaks if you happen to drop it by accident. If you happen to drop it on [Pg 265]purpose, it is quite different. Anthea dropped that jug three times, and it was as unbroken as ever. So at last she had to take her father's boot-tree and break the jug with that in cold blood. It was heartless work.
Anthea took down the heavy water jug—it had a design of storks and tall grasses that Anthea could never forget. She carried it into the dressing room and carefully poured the water out into the bath. Then she took the jug back into the bedroom and dropped it on the floor. You know how a jug will always break if you accidentally drop it. If you drop it on purpose, it's a whole different story. Anthea dropped that jug three times, and it didn't break at all. So finally, she had to grab her dad's boot tree and deliberately smash the jug with that. It was a cruel thing to do.
Next she broke open the missionary-box with the poker. Jane told her that it was wrong, of course, but Anthea shut her lips very tight and then said—
Next, she pried open the missionary box with the poker. Jane told her it was wrong, of course, but Anthea tightly shut her lips and then said—
"Don't be silly—it's a matter of life and death."
"Don't be ridiculous—it's a matter of life and death."
There was not very much in the missionary-box,—only seven-and-fourpence,—but the girls between them had nearly four shillings. This made over eleven shillings, as you will easily see.
There wasn't much in the missionary box—just seven shillings and four pence—but the girls had almost four shillings combined. This added up to over eleven shillings, as you can easily tell.
Anthea tied up the money in a corner of her pocket-handkerchief. "Come on, Jane!" she said, and ran down to the farm. She knew that the farmer was going into Rochester that afternoon. In fact it had been arranged that he was to take the four children with him. They had planned this in the happy hour when they believed that they [Pg 266]we're going to get that hundred pounds, in two-shilling pieces, out of the Psammead. They had arranged to pay the farmer two shillings each for the ride. Now Anthea hastily explained to him that they could not go, but would he take Martha and the Baby instead? He agreed, but he was not pleased to get only half-a-crown instead of eight shillings.
Anthea wrapped the money in a corner of her handkerchief. "Come on, Jane!" she said, and dashed down to the farm. She knew the farmer was heading to Rochester that afternoon. In fact, it had been arranged for him to take the four kids with him. They had made this plan in the joyful moment when they thought they would get that hundred pounds, in two-shilling coins, from the Psammead. They had decided to pay the farmer two shillings each for the ride. Now Anthea quickly explained to him that they couldn’t go, but could he take Martha and the baby instead? He agreed, but he wasn’t happy about getting only two and sixpence instead of eight shillings.
Then the girls ran home again. Anthea was agitated, but not flurried. When she came to think it over afterwards, she could not help seeing that she had acted with the most far-seeing promptitude, just like a born general. She fetched a little box from her corner drawer, and went to find Martha, who was laying the cloth and not in the best of tempers.
Then the girls ran home again. Anthea was upset, but not panicking. When she thought it over later, she couldn’t help but realize that she had acted with impressive foresight, just like a natural leader. She got a small box from her corner drawer and went to find Martha, who was setting the table and wasn't in the best mood.
"Look here," said Anthea. "I've broken the water jug in mother's room."
"Hey," said Anthea. "I've broken the water jug in Mom's room."
"Just like you—always up to some mischief," said Martha, dumping down a salt-cellar with a bang.
"Just like you—always up to trouble," Martha said, slamming down a salt shaker.
"Don't be cross, Martha dear," said Anthea.[Pg 267] "I've got enough money to pay for a new one—if only you'll be a dear and go and buy it for us. Your cousins keep a china-shop, don't they? And I would like you to get it to-day, in case mother comes home to-morrow. You know she said she might perhaps."
"Don't be upset, Martha dear," said Anthea.[Pg 267] "I have enough money to buy a new one—if you could just be sweet and go get it for us. Your cousins run a china shop, right? I would like you to pick it up today, just in case mom gets back tomorrow. You know she mentioned she might."
"But you're all going into town yourselves," said Martha.
"But you all are heading into town yourselves," Martha said.
"We can't afford to, if we get the new jug," said Anthea; "but we'll pay for you to go, if you'll take the Lamb. And I say, Martha, look here—I'll give you my Liberty box, if you'll go. Look, it's most awfully pretty—all inlaid with real silver and ivory and ebony, like King Solomon's temple."
"We can't afford it if we get the new jug," Anthea said. "But we'll cover your expenses if you take the Lamb. And I mean it, Martha, check this out—I'll give you my Liberty box if you go. Look, it's super pretty—all inlaid with real silver, ivory, and ebony, just like King Solomon's temple."
"I see," said Martha,—"no, I don't want your box, miss. What you want is to get the precious Lamb off your hands for the afternoon. Don't you go for to think I don't see through you!"
"I get it," said Martha, "no, I don't want your box, miss. What you really want is to get the precious Lamb out of your hair for the afternoon. Don't think I can't see through you!"
This was so true that Anthea longed to deny it at once. Martha had no business to know so much. But she held her tongue.[Pg 268]
This was so true that Anthea wanted to deny it immediately. Martha shouldn’t know that much. But she kept quiet.[Pg 268]
Martha set down the bread with a bang that made it jump off its trencher.
Martha slammed the bread down with a bang that made it bounce off its plate.
"I do want the jug got," said Anthea softly. "You will go, won't you?"
"I do want the jug, though," Anthea said quietly. "You will go, right?"
"Well, just for this once, I don't mind; but mind you don't get into none of your outrageous mischief while I'm gone—that's all!"
"Well, just this once, I don't mind; but make sure you don't get into any of your crazy trouble while I'm gone—that's it!"
"He's going earlier than he thought," said Anthea eagerly. "You'd better hurry and get dressed. Do put on that lovely purple frock, Martha, and the hat with the pink cornflowers, and the yellow-lace collar. Jane'll finish laying the cloth, and I'll wash the Lamb and get him ready."
"He's leaving sooner than he expected," Anthea said eagerly. "You should hurry and get dressed. Please wear that beautiful purple dress, Martha, along with the hat with the pink cornflowers and the yellow lace collar. Jane will finish setting the table, and I'll wash the Lamb and get him ready."
As she washed the unwilling Lamb and hurried him into his best clothes, Anthea peeped out of the window from time to time; so far all was well—she could see no Red Indians. When with a rush and a scurry and some deepening of the damask of Martha's complexion she and the Lamb had been got off, Anthea drew a deep breath.
As she washed the reluctant Lamb and quickly put him into his best clothes, Anthea peeked out of the window every so often; so far, everything was fine—she couldn’t see any Native Americans. After a flurry of activity and a bit of a flush to Martha's face, once she and the Lamb were ready to go, Anthea let out a deep sigh.
"He's safe!" she said, and, to Jane's horror, [Pg 269]flung herself down on the floor and burst into floods of tears. Jane did not understand at all how a person could be so brave and like a general, and then suddenly give way and go flat like an air-balloon when you prick it. It is better not to go flat, of course, but you will observe that Anthea did not give way till her aim was accomplished. She had got the dear Lamb out of danger—she felt certain that the Red Indians would be round the White House or nowhere—the farmer's cart would not come back till after sunset, so she could afford to cry a little. It was partly with joy that she cried, because she had done what she meant to do. She cried for about three minutes, while Jane hugged her miserably and said at five-second intervals, "Don't cry, Panther dear!"
"He's safe!" she said, and, to Jane's horror, [Pg 269]threw herself down on the floor and burst into tears. Jane couldn’t understand how someone could be so brave, like a general, and then suddenly break down like a deflated balloon. Of course, it’s better not to fall apart, but you’ll notice that Anthea didn’t lose it until she had achieved her goal. She had gotten the dear Lamb out of danger—she was sure the Red Indians wouldn’t be around the White House anytime soon—the farmer’s cart wouldn’t return until after sunset, so she could afford to cry a little. She cried partly out of joy because she had done what she set out to do. She cried for about three minutes while Jane hugged her awkwardly and said every five seconds, "Don't cry, Panther dear!"
Then she jumped up, rubbed her eyes hard with the corner of her pinafore, so that they kept red for the rest of the day, and started to tell the boys. But just at that moment cook rang the dinner-bell, and nothing could be said till they had been helped to minced [Pg 270]beef. Then cook left the room, and Anthea told her tale. But it is a mistake to tell a thrilling tale when people are eating minced beef and boiled potatoes. There seemed somehow to be something about the food that made the idea of Red Indians seem flat and unbelievable. The boys actually laughed, and called Anthea a little silly.
Then she jumped up, rubbed her eyes hard with the corner of her apron, so they stayed red for the rest of the day, and started to tell the boys. But just then, the cook rang the dinner bell, and nothing could be said until they had been served minced [Pg 270]beef. After that, the cook left the room, and Anthea shared her story. But it’s a mistake to tell an exciting story while people are eating minced beef and boiled potatoes. There was something about the food that made the idea of Red Indians feel flat and unbelievable. The boys actually laughed and called Anthea a little silly.
"Why," said Cyril, "I'm almost sure it was before I said that, that Jane said she wished it would be a fine day."
"Why," Cyril said, "I'm pretty sure it was before I mentioned that, when Jane said she hoped it would be a nice day."
"It wasn't," said Jane briefly.
"It wasn't," Jane replied briefly.
"Why, if it was Indians," Cyril went on,—"salt, please, and mustard—I must have something to make this mush go down,—if it was Indians, they'd have been infesting the place long before this—you know they would. I believe it's the fine day."
"Why, if it was Indians," Cyril continued, "salt, please, and mustard—I need something to make this mush go down—if it was Indians, they would have been bothering us long before now—you know they would. I think it's just a nice day."
"Then why did the Sammyadd say we'd let ourselves in for a nice thing?" asked Anthea. She was feeling very cross. She knew she had acted with nobility and discretion, and after that it was very hard to be called a little silly, especially when she had the weight of a [Pg 271]burglared missionary-box and about seven-and-fourpence, mostly in coppers, lying like lead upon her conscience.
"Then why did the Sammyadd say we'd signed up for something nice?" asked Anthea. She was feeling really frustrated. She knew she had acted with nobility and good judgment, and after that it was really hard to be called a little silly, especially when she had the weight of a [Pg 271]burglared missionary box and about seven-and-fourpence, mostly in coins, weighing heavily on her conscience.
There was a silence, during which cook took away the mincy plates and brought in the pudding. As soon as she had retired, Cyril began again.
There was a silence while the cook cleared away the small plates and brought in the pudding. Once she left, Cyril started talking again.
"Of course I don't mean to say," he admitted, "that it wasn't a good thing to get Martha and the Lamb out of the way for the afternoon; but as for Red Indians—why, you know jolly well the wishes always come that very minute. If there was going to be Red Indians, they'd be here now."
"Of course I don't mean to say," he admitted, "that getting Martha and the Lamb out of the way for the afternoon wasn't a good idea; but as for Native Americans—well, you know the wishes always show up right at that moment. If there were going to be Native Americans, they'd be here by now."
"I expect they are," said Anthea; "they're lurking amid the undergrowth, for anything you know. I do think you're most unkind."
"I think they are," said Anthea; "they might be hiding in the bushes, for all we know. I really think you're being very unkind."
"Indians almost always do lurk, really, though, don't they?" put in Jane, anxious for peace.
"Indians almost always do lurk, really, though, don't they?" Jane said, hoping for some peace.
"No, they don't," said Cyril tartly. "And I'm not unkind, I'm only truthful. And I say it was utter rot breaking the water-jug; and as for the missionary-box, I believe it's a [Pg 272]treason-crime, and I shouldn't wonder if you could be hanged for it, if any of us was to split"—
"No, they don't," Cyril replied sharply. "And I'm not being mean, I'm just being honest. And I think it was complete nonsense to break the water jug; and as for the missionary box, I believe it's a [Pg 272]serious crime, and I wouldn't be surprised if you could get hanged for it, if any of us decided to tell."
"Shut up, can't you?" said Robert; but Cyril couldn't. You see, he felt in his heart that if there should be Indians they would be entirely his own fault, so he did not wish to believe in them. And trying not to believe things when in your heart you are almost sure they are true, is as bad for the temper as anything I know.
"Shut up, can’t you?" said Robert; but Cyril couldn’t. You see, he felt deep down that if there were Indians, it would be entirely his own fault, so he didn’t want to believe in them. And trying not to believe things when you secretly think they might be true is as bad for your temper as anything I know.
"It's simply idiotic," he said, "talking about Indians, when you can see for yourself that it's Jane who's got her wish. Look what a fine day it is——OH!—"
"It's just ridiculous," he said, "talking about Native Americans, when you can clearly see that it's Jane who's getting her way. Look at how beautiful the day is——OH!—"
He had turned towards the window to point out the fineness of the day—the others turned too—and a frozen silence caught at Cyril, and none of the others felt at all like breaking it. For there, peering round the corner of the window, among the red leaves of the Virginia creeper, was a face—a brown face, with a long nose and a tight mouth and very bright eyes. And the face was painted in coloured [Pg 273]patches. It had long black hair, and in the hair were feathers!
He turned towards the window to point out how nice the day was—the others turned too—and a frozen silence enveloped Cyril, and none of the others felt like breaking it. Because there, peeking around the corner of the window, among the red leaves of the Virginia creeper, was a face—a brown face, with a long nose and a tight mouth and very bright eyes. And the face was painted in colorful [Pg 273] patches. It had long black hair, and there were feathers in the hair!
Every child's mouth in the room opened, and stayed open. The pudding was growing white and cold on their plates. No one could move.
Every child's mouth in the room dropped open and stayed that way. The pudding turned white and cold on their plates. No one could move.
Suddenly the feathered head was cautiously withdrawn, and the spell was broken. I am sorry to say that Anthea's first words were very like a girl.
Suddenly, the feathered head pulled back cautiously, and the spell was broken. I'm sorry to say that Anthea's first words sounded very much like those of a girl.
"There, now!" she said. "I told you so!"
"There, see!" she said. "I told you so!"
The pudding had now definitely ceased to charm. Hastily wrapping their portions in a Spectator of the week before the week before last, they hid them behind the crinkled paper stove-ornament, and fled upstairs to reconnoitre and to hold a hurried council.
The pudding had definitely lost its appeal. Quickly wrapping their portions in a Spectator from the week before last, they tucked them away behind the wrinkled paper stove decoration and hurried upstairs to scout things out and hold a quick meeting.
"Pax," said Cyril handsomely when they reached their mother's bedroom. "Panther, I'm sorry if I was a brute."
"Pax," Cyril said nicely when they got to their mother's bedroom. "Panther, I'm sorry if I was a jerk."
"All right," said Anthea; "but you see now!"
"Okay," said Anthea; "but now you see!"
No further trace of Indians, however, could be discerned from the windows.[Pg 274]
No more signs of Indians could be seen from the windows.[Pg 274]
"Well," said Robert, "what are we to do?"
"Well," Robert said, "what should we do?"
"The only thing I can think of," said Anthea, who was now generally admitted to be the heroine of the day, "is—if we dressed up as like Indians as we can, and looked out of the windows, or even went out. They might think we were the powerful leaders of a large neighbouring tribe, and—and not do anything to us, you know, for fear of awful vengeance."
"The only thing I can think of," said Anthea, who was now widely recognized as the heroine of the day, "is—what if we dressed up like Indians as much as we can, and looked out of the windows, or even went outside? They might think we were the powerful leaders of a large neighboring tribe, and—and might not do anything to us, you know, out of fear of terrible revenge."
"But Eliza, and the cook?" said Jane.
"But Eliza, and the cook?" Jane asked.
"You forget—they can't notice anything," said Robert. "They wouldn't notice anything out of the way, even if they were scalped or roasted at a slow fire."
"You forget—they can't notice anything," Robert said. "They wouldn't see anything unusual, even if they were scalped or slowly roasted over a fire."
"But would they come right at sunset?"
"But would they arrive exactly at sunset?"
"Of course. You can't be really scalped or burned to death without noticing it, and you'd be sure to notice it next day, even if it escaped your attention at the time," said Cyril. "I think Anthea's right, but we shall want a most awful lot of feathers."
"Of course. You can't actually get scalped or burned to death without noticing, and you'd definitely notice it the next day, even if it didn't catch your attention at the moment," said Cyril. "I think Anthea's right, but we’re going to need a ton of feathers."
"I'll go down to the hen-house," said Robert. "There's one of the turkeys in there—it's not [Pg 275]very well. I could cut its feathers without it minding much. It's very bad—doesn't seem to care what happens to it. Get me the cutting-out scissors."
"I'll head to the hen-house," said Robert. "There's a turkey in there—it’s not [Pg 275]doing very well. I could trim its feathers without it really caring. It’s in bad shape—doesn’t seem to care what happens to it. Bring me the scissors."
Earnest reconnoitring convinced them all that no Indians were in the poultry-yard. Robert went. In five minutes he came back—pale, but with many feathers.
Earnest surveying convinced them all that there were no Indians in the poultry yard. Robert went. In five minutes, he returned—pale, but with a bunch of feathers.
"Look here," he said, "this is jolly serious. I cut off the feathers, and when I turned to come out there was an Indian squinting at me from under the old hen-coop. I just brandished the feathers and yelled, and got away before he could get the coop off top of himself. Panther, get the coloured blankets off our beds, and look slippy, can't you?"
"Hey, listen," he said, "this is really serious. I cut off the feathers, and when I turned to leave, there was an Indian glaring at me from under the old hen coop. I just waved the feathers around and yelled, and I got away before he could move the coop off himself. Panther, grab the colored blankets off our beds, and hurry up, can you?"
It is wonderful how like an Indian you can make yourself with blankets and feathers and coloured scarves. Of course none of the children happened to have long black hair, but there was a lot of black calico that had been bought to cover school-books with. They cut strips of this into a sort of fine fringe, and fastened it round their heads with [Pg 276]the amber-coloured ribbons off the girls' Sunday dresses. Then they stuck turkeys' feathers in the ribbons. The calico looked very like long black hair, especially when the strips began to curl up a bit.
It’s amazing how much you can look like an Indian with blankets, feathers, and colorful scarves. None of the kids had long black hair, but there was a lot of black calico that had been bought to cover school books. They cut strips of this into a sort of fine fringe and tied it around their heads with [Pg 276] the amber-colored ribbons from the girls' Sunday dresses. Then they stuck turkey feathers in the ribbons. The calico really looked like long black hair, especially when the strips started to curl up a bit.
"But our faces," said Anthea, "they're not at all the right colour. We're all rather pale, and I'm sure I don't know why, but Cyril is the colour of putty."
"But our faces," said Anthea, "they're not the right color at all. We're all pretty pale, and I really have no idea why, but Cyril looks like putty."
"I'm not," said Cyril.
"I'm not," Cyril said.
"The real Indians outside seem to be brownish," said Robert hastily. "I think we ought to be really red—it's sort of superior to have a red skin, if you are one."
"The real Indians outside look kind of brown," Robert said quickly. "I think we should be really red—it feels a bit more special to have red skin, if you are one."
The red ochre cook uses for the kitchen bricks seemed to be about the reddest thing in the house. The children mixed some in a saucer with milk, as they had seen cook do for the kitchen floor. Then they carefully painted each other's faces and hands with it, till they were quite as red as any Red Indian need be—if not redder.
The red ochre the cook uses for the kitchen bricks looked like the reddest thing in the house. The kids mixed some in a saucer with milk, just like they saw the cook do for the kitchen floor. Then they carefully painted each other's faces and hands with it until they were as red as any Native American could be—if not redder.
They knew at once that they must look very terrible when they met Eliza in the passage, [Pg 277]and she screamed aloud. This unsolicited testimonial pleased them very much. Hastily telling her not to be a goose, and that it was only a game, the four blanketed, feathered, really and truly Redskins went boldly out to meet the foe. I say boldly. That is because I wish to be polite. At any rate, they went.
They immediately realized that they must look pretty awful when they ran into Eliza in the hallway, [Pg 277] and she screamed. This unexpected reaction made them really happy. Quickly telling her not to be silly and that it was just a game, the four wrapped in blankets, feathered, and truly Redskin characters boldly went out to face the enemy. I say boldly because I want to be courteous. Anyway, they went.
Along the hedge dividing the wilderness from the garden was a row of dark heads, all highly feathered.
Along the hedge separating the wild area from the garden was a line of dark heads, all richly feathered.
"It's our only chance," whispered Anthea. "Much better than to wait for their blood-freezing attack. We must pretend like mad. Like that game of cards where you pretend you've got aces when you haven't. Fluffing they call it, I think. Now then. Whoop!"
"It's our only chance," Anthea whispered. "Much better than waiting for their terrifying attack. We have to pretend like crazy. You know, like that card game where you act like you have aces when you don't. I think they call it bluffing. Now then. Whoop!"
With four wild war-whoops—or as near them as white children could be expected to go without any previous practice—they rushed through the gate and struck four war-like attitudes in face of the line of Red Indians. These were all about the same height, and that height was Cyril's.[Pg 278]
With four loud war cries—or as close as white kids could get without practice—they charged through the gate and struck four aggressive poses in front of the group of Native Americans. They were all about the same height, and that height matched Cyril's.[Pg 278]
"I hope to goodness they can talk English," said Cyril through his attitude.
"I really hope they can speak English," said Cyril through his attitude.
Anthea knew they could, though she never knew how she came to know it. She had a white towel tied to a walking-stick. This was a flag of truce, and she waved it, in the hope that the Indians would know what it was. Apparently they did—for one who was browner than the others stepped forward.
Anthea knew they could, even though she wasn’t sure how she knew it. She had a white towel tied to a walking stick. This was a peace flag, and she waved it, hoping the Indians would understand its meaning. Apparently, they did—because one person who was darker than the others stepped forward.
"Ye seek a pow-wow?" he said in excellent English. "I am Golden Eagle, of the mighty tribe of Rock-dwellers."
"Are you looking for a meeting?" he said in perfect English. "I am Golden Eagle, from the powerful Rock-dwellers tribe."
"And I," said Anthea, with a sudden inspiration, "am the Black Panther—chief of the—the—the—Mazawattee tribe. My brothers—I don't mean—yes, I do—the tribe—I mean the Mazawattees—are in ambush below the brow of yonder hill."
"And I," said Anthea, with a sudden burst of inspiration, "am the Black Panther—leader of the—the—the—Mazawattee tribe. My brothers—I don’t mean—yes, I do—the tribe—I mean the Mazawattees—are hiding below the top of that hill over there."
"And what mighty warriors be these?" asked Golden Eagle, turning to the others.
"And who are these incredible warriors?" asked Golden Eagle, turning to the others.
Cyril said he was the great chief Squirrel, of the Moning Congo tribe, and, seeing that Jane was sucking her thumb and could evidently think of no name for herself, he added,[Pg 279] "This great warrior is Wild Cat—Pussy Ferox we call it in this land—leader of the vast Phiteezi tribe."
Cyril said he was the great chief Squirrel of the Moning Congo tribe, and when he noticed Jane sucking her thumb and clearly struggling to think of a name for herself, he added, [Pg 279] "This great warrior is Wild Cat—Pussy Ferox is what we call it in this land—leader of the vast Phiteezi tribe."
"And thou, valorous Redskin?" Golden Eagle inquired suddenly of Robert, who, taken unawares, could only reply that he was Bobs—leader of the Cape Mounted Police.
"And you, brave Redskin?" Golden Eagle suddenly asked Robert, who, caught off guard, could only respond that he was Bobs—leader of the Cape Mounted Police.
"And now," said Black Panther, "our tribes, if we just whistle them up, will far outnumber your puny forces; so resistance is useless. Return, therefore, to your land, O brother, and smoke pipes of peace in your wampums with your squaws and your medicine-men, and dress yourselves in the gayest wigwams, and eat happily of the juicy fresh-caught moccasins."
"And now," said Black Panther, "if we call our tribes, they will easily outnumber your small forces; so resisting is pointless. So go back to your land, brother, and smoke peace pipes with your wives and your shamans, decorate your best lodges, and enjoy the delicious, freshly caught fish."
"You've got it all wrong," murmured Cyril angrily. But Golden Eagle only looked inquiringly at her.
"You've got it all wrong," Cyril said angrily. But Golden Eagle just looked at her with curiosity.
"Thy customs are other than ours, O Black Panther," he said. "Bring up thy tribe, that we may hold pow-wow in state before them, as becomes great chiefs."
"Your customs are different from ours, O Black Panther," he said. "Gather your tribe so we can hold a meeting in front of them, as befits great chiefs."
"We'll bring them up right enough," said[Pg 280] Anthea, "with their bows and arrows, and tomahawks and scalping-knives, and everything you can think of, if you don't look sharp and go."
"We'll raise them properly," said[Pg 280] Anthea, "with their bows and arrows, tomahawks, and scalpels, and everything else you can imagine, if you don’t hurry up and go."
She spoke bravely enough, but the hearts of all the children were beating furiously, and their breath came in shorter and shorter gasps. For the little real Red Indians were closing up round them—coming nearer and nearer with angry murmurs—so that they were the centre of a crowd of dark cruel faces.
She spoke bravely enough, but all the kids' hearts were pounding wildly, and their breaths were getting shorter and shorter. The real Red Indians were closing in around them—getting closer and closer with angry murmurs—turning them into the center of a crowd of dark, cruel faces.
"It's no go," whispered Robert. "I knew it wouldn't be. We must make a bolt for the Psammead. It might help us. If it doesn't—well, I suppose we shall come alive again at sunset. I wonder if scalping hurts as much as they say."
"It's not going to work," Robert whispered. "I knew it wouldn't. We need to make a run for the Psammead. It might be able to help us. If it doesn't—well, I guess we'll come back to life at sunset. I wonder if getting scalped hurts as much as they say."
"I'll wave the flag again," said Anthea. "If they stand back, we'll run for it."
"I'll wave the flag again," Anthea said. "If they step back, we'll go for it."
She waved the towel, and the chief commanded his followers to stand back. Then, charging wildly at the place where the line of Indians was thinnest, the four children [Pg 281]started to run. Their first rush knocked down some half-dozen Indians, over whose blanketed bodies the children leaped, and made straight for the sand-pit. This was no time for the safe easy way by which carts go down—right over the edge of the sand-pit they went, among the yellow and pale purple flowers and dried grasses, past the little bank martins' little front doors, skipping, clinging, bounding, stumbling, sprawling, and finally rolling.
She waved the towel, and the chief told his followers to step back. Then, charging wildly at the spot where the line of Indians was thinnest, the four children [Pg 281]started to run. Their first rush knocked down about six Indians, over whose blanketed bodies the children jumped, heading straight for the sand-pit. This wasn’t the time to take the safe, easy route that carts use—right over the edge of the sand-pit they went, among the yellow and pale purple flowers and dried grasses, past the little bank martins' tiny front doors, skipping, clinging, bounding, stumbling, sprawling, and finally rolling.
Yellow Eagle and his followers came up with them just at the very spot where they had seen the Psammead that morning.
Yellow Eagle and his followers arrived at the exact spot where they had spotted the Psammead that morning.
Breathless and beaten, the wretched children now awaited their fate. Sharp knives and axes gleamed round them, but worse than these was the cruel light in the eyes of Golden Eagle and his followers.
Breathless and beaten, the miserable children now waited for their fate. Sharp knives and axes sparkled around them, but even worse was the cruel look in the eyes of Golden Eagle and his followers.
"Ye have lied to us, O Black Panther of the Mazawattees—and thou, too, Squirrel of the Moning Congos. These also, Pussy Ferox of the Phiteezi, and Bobs of the Cape Mounted Police,—these also have lied to us, if not with their tongues, yet by their silence. Ye have [Pg 282]lied under the cover of the Truce-flag of the Pale-face. Ye have no followers. Your tribes are far away—following the hunting trail. What shall be their doom?" he concluded, turning with a bitter smile to the other Red Indians.
"You've all lied to us, O Black Panther of the Mazawattees—and you, too, Squirrel of the Moning Congos. You’ve also lied, Pussy Ferox of the Phiteezi, and Bobs of the Cape Mounted Police—whether with your words or by your silence. You have [Pg 282]lied while hiding behind the Truce-flag of the White man. You have no followers. Your tribes are far away—chasing the hunting trail. What will happen to them?" he concluded, turning with a bitter smile to the other Native Americans.
"Build we the fire!" shouted his followers; and at once a dozen ready volunteers started to look for fuel. The four children, each held between two strong little Indians, cast despairing glances round them. Oh, if they could only see the Psammead!
"Let’s make a fire!" shouted his followers, and right away a dozen eager volunteers began searching for fuel. The four kids, each held between two strong little Indians, glanced around in despair. Oh, if only they could see the Psammead!
"Do you mean to scalp us first and then roast us?" asked Anthea desperately.
"Are you really planning to scalp us first and then roast us?" Anthea asked desperately.
"Of course!" Redskin opened his eyes at her. "It's always done."
"Of course!" Redskin opened his eyes at her. "It's always been done."
The Indians had formed a ring round the children, and now sat on the ground gazing at their captives. There was a threatening silence.
The Indians had formed a circle around the children and were now sitting on the ground, staring at their captives. There was a tense silence.
Then slowly, by twos and threes, the Indians who had gone to look for firewood came back, and they came back empty-handed. They had not been able to find a single stick of [Pg 283]wood for a fire! No one ever can, as a matter of fact, in that part of Kent.
Then slowly, in groups of two or three, the Native Americans who had gone to search for firewood returned, and they came back empty-handed. They hadn’t been able to find a single stick of [Pg 283]wood for a fire! In fact, no one ever can in that part of Kent.
The children drew a deep breath of relief, but it ended in a moan of terror. For bright knives were being brandished all about them. Next moment each child was seized by an Indian; each closed its eyes and tried not to scream. They waited for the sharp agony of the knife. It did not come. Next moment they were released, and fell in a trembling heap. Their heads did not hurt at all. They only felt strangely cool! Wild war-whoops rang in their ears. When they ventured to open their eyes they saw four of their foes dancing round them with wild leaps and screams, and each of the four brandished in his hand a scalp of long flowing black hair. They put their hands to their heads—their own scalps were safe! The poor untutored savages had indeed scalped the children. But they had only, so to speak, scalped them of the black calico ringlets!
The kids took a deep breath of relief, but it quickly turned into a moan of fear. Bright knives were flashing all around them. In the next moment, each kid was grabbed by an Indian; they all closed their eyes and tried not to scream. They braced for the sharp sting of the knife. It never came. Instead, they were let go and collapsed in a trembling pile. Their heads didn’t hurt at all. They only felt strangely cool! Wild war-whoops echoed in their ears. When they dared to open their eyes, they saw four of their attackers dancing around them with wild leaps and screams, each one waving a scalp with long, flowing black hair. They touched their heads—thankfully, their own scalps were safe! The poor, untrained savages had indeed scalped the kids. But they had only, so to speak, removed their black calico curls!
The children fell into each other's arms, sobbing and laughing.[Pg 284]
The kids embraced each other, crying and laughing. [Pg 284]
"Their scalps are ours," chanted the chief; "ill-rooted were their ill-fated hairs! They came off in the hands of the victors—without struggle, without resistance, they yielded their scalps to the conquering Rock-dwellers! Oh, how little a thing is a scalp so lightly won!"
"Their scalps are ours," the chief chanted; "their ill-fated hair was weakly rooted! They came off easily in the hands of the victors—without struggle, without resistance, they surrendered their scalps to the conquering Rock-dwellers! Oh, how trivial a thing is a scalp when it is won so easily!"
"They'll take our real ones in a minute; you see if they don't," said Robert, trying to rub some of the red ochre off his face and hands on to his hair.
"They'll take our actual ones in a second; just wait and see," Robert said, attempting to wipe some of the red ochre from his face and hands onto his hair.
"Cheated of our just and fiery revenge are we," the chant went on,—"but there are other torments than the scalping-knife and the flames. Yet is the slow fire the correct thing. O strange unnatural country, wherein a man may find no wood to burn his enemy!—Ah for the boundless forests of my native land, where the great trees for thousands of miles grow but to furnish firewood wherewithal to burn our foes. Ah, would we were but in our native forest once more!"
"Deprived of our rightful and passionate revenge are we," the chant continued, —"but there are worse tortures than the scalping knife and the flames. Still, the slow fire is the way to go. O strange and unnatural land, where a person can't find any wood to burn their enemy!—Ah, for the endless forests of my homeland, where the giant trees stretch for miles just to provide firewood to burn our foes. Oh, how I wish we were back in our native forest once again!"
Suddenly like a flash of lightning, the golden gravel shone all round the four chil[Pg 285]dren instead of the dusky figures. For every single Indian had vanished on the instant at their leader's word. The Psammead must have been there all the time. And it had given the Indian chief his wish.
Suddenly, like a flash of lightning, the golden gravel shone all around the four children instead of the dark figures. Every single Indian had vanished in an instant at their leader's command. The Psammead must have been there the whole time. And it had granted the Indian chief his wish.
Martha brought home a jug with a pattern of storks and long grasses on it. Also she brought back all Anthea's money.
Martha brought home a jug with a design of storks and tall grasses on it. She also brought back all of Anthea's money.
"My cousin, she gave me the jug for luck; she said it was an odd one what the basin of had got smashed."
"My cousin gave me the jug for good luck; she said it was a unique one since the basin had gotten broken."
"Oh, Martha, you are a dear!" sighed Anthea, throwing her arms round her.
"Oh, Martha, you’re so sweet!" sighed Anthea, wrapping her arms around her.
"Yes," giggled Martha, "you'd better make the most of me while you've got me. I shall give your ma notice directly minute she comes back."
"Yeah," giggled Martha, "you'd better take advantage of me while you can. I'll let your mom know as soon as she gets back."
"Oh, Martha, we haven't been so very horrid to you, have we?" asked Anthea, aghast.
"Oh, Martha, we haven't been that awful to you, have we?" asked Anthea, shocked.
"Oh, it isn't that, miss." Martha giggled more than ever. "I'm a-goin' to be married. It's Beale the gamekeeper. He's been a-proposin' to me off and on ever since you come [Pg 286]home from the clergyman's where you got locked up on the church-tower. And to-day I said the word an' made him a happy man."
"Oh, that's not it, miss." Martha laughed even more. "I’m getting married. It’s Beale the gamekeeper. He’s been proposing to me on and off ever since you came [Pg 286] home from the clergyman’s where you got locked up in the church tower. And today I finally said yes and made him a happy man."
Anthea put the seven-and-fourpence back in the missionary-box, and pasted paper over the place where the poker had broken it. She was very glad to be able to do this, and she does not know to this day whether breaking open a missionary-box is or is not a hanging matter![Pg 287]
Anthea put the seven shillings and four pence back in the missionary box and covered up the spot where the poker had broken it. She was really happy to do this, and she still doesn’t know whether breaking open a missionary box is a punishable crime or not![Pg 287]
CHAPTER XI (AND LAST)
THE LAST WISH
Of course you, who see above that this is the eleventh (and last) chapter, know very well that the day of which this chapter tells must be the last on which Cyril, Anthea, Robert, and Jane will have a chance of getting anything out of the Psammead, or Sand-fairy.
Of course, you, who see above that this is the eleventh (and last) chapter, know very well that the day this chapter is about must be the final day that Cyril, Anthea, Robert, and Jane will have a chance to get anything from the Psammead or Sand-fairy.
But the children themselves did not know this. They were full of rosy visions, and, whereas on the other days they had often found it extremely difficult to think of anything really nice to wish for, their brains were now full of the most beautiful and sensible ideas. "This," as Jane remarked afterwards, "is always the way." Everyone was up extra early that morning, and these plans were hopefully discussed in the garden before breakfast. The old idea of one hundred [Pg 288]pounds in modern florins was still first favourite, but there were others that ran it close—the chief of these being the "pony-each" idea. This had a great advantage. You could wish for a pony each during the morning, ride it all day, have it vanish at sunset, and wish it back again next day. Which would be an economy of litter and stabling. But at breakfast two things happened. First, there was a letter from mother. Granny was better, and mother and father hoped to be home that very afternoon. A cheer arose. And of course this news at once scattered all the before-breakfast wish-ideas. For everyone saw quite plainly that the wish of the day must be something to please mother and not to please themselves.
But the kids themselves didn’t know this. They were full of bright ideas, and while on other days they had often found it really hard to think of anything truly nice to wish for, their minds were now buzzing with the most beautiful and sensible thoughts. "This," as Jane said later, "is always how it goes." Everyone was up extra early that morning, and they hopefully talked about these plans in the garden before breakfast. The old idea of one hundred [Pg 288] pounds in modern florins was still the top choice, but there were other close contenders—the main one being the "pony-each" idea. This had a big advantage. You could wish for a pony each during the morning, ride it all day, have it disappear at sunset, and wish it back again the next day. Which would save on mess and stabling. But at breakfast, two things happened. First, there was a letter from Mom. Granny was doing better, and Mom and Dad hoped to be home that very afternoon. Cheers went up. And of course, this news immediately scattered all the breakfast wish ideas. Because everyone clearly saw that the wish of the day had to be something to make Mom happy, not just for themselves.
"I wonder what she would like," pondered Cyril.
"I wonder what she would like," thought Cyril.
"She'd like us all to be good," said Jane primly.
"She wants us all to be good," Jane said in a prim tone.
"Yes—but that's so dull for us," Cyril rejoined; "and besides, I should hope we could be that without sand-fairies to help us. No; [Pg 289]it must be something splendid, that we couldn't possibly get without wishing for."
"Yes—but that's so boring for us," Cyril replied; "and besides, I hope we could be that way without sand-fairies to assist us. No; [Pg 289]it has to be something amazing that we couldn't possibly get without wishing for."
"Look out," said Anthea in a warning voice; "don't forget yesterday. Remember, we get our wishes now just wherever we happen to be when we say 'I wish.' Don't let's let ourselves in for anything silly—to-day of all days."
"Watch out," Anthea said with a warning tone; "don't forget about yesterday. Remember, we can make our wishes come true just by saying 'I wish' wherever we are. Let's not get ourselves into anything ridiculous—especially today of all days."
"All right," said Cyril. "You needn't talk so much."
"Okay," Cyril said. "You don’t have to talk so much."
Just then Martha came in with a jug full of hot water for the tea-pot—and a face full of importance for the children.
Just then, Martha came in with a jug of hot water for the teapot—and a very serious look for the kids.
"A blessing we're all alive to eat our breakfast!" she said darkly.
"A blessing we're all alive to have our breakfast!" she said grimly.
"Why, whatever's happened?" everybody asked.
"What's happened?" everybody asked.
"Oh, nothing," said Martha, "only it seems nobody's safe from being murdered in their beds nowadays."
"Oh, nothing," Martha said, "it's just that it feels like no one is safe from being murdered in their beds these days."
"Why," said Jane as an agreeable thrill of horror ran down her back and legs and out at her toes, "has anyone been murdered in their beds?"[Pg 290]
"Why," said Jane as a thrilling shiver of fear ran down her back and legs and out at her toes, "has anyone been murdered in their beds?"[Pg 290]
"Well—not exactly," said Martha; "but they might just as well. There's been burglars over at Peasemarsh Place—Beale's just told me—and they've took every single one of Lady Chittenden's diamonds and jewels and things, and she's a-goin out of one fainting fit into another, with hardly time to say 'Oh, my diamonds!' in between. And Lord Chittenden's away in London."
"Well—not really," said Martha; "but they could. There have been burglars over at Peasemarsh Place—Beale just told me—and they've taken every single one of Lady Chittenden's diamonds and jewels and stuff, and she's going from one fainting fit to another, hardly having time to say 'Oh, my diamonds!' in between. And Lord Chittenden's away in London."
"Lady Chittenden," said Anthea; "we've seen her. She wears a red-and-white dress, and she has no children of her own and can't abide other folkses'."
"Lady Chittenden," Anthea said; "we've seen her. She wears a red-and-white dress, and she doesn't have any kids of her own and can't stand other people's."
"That's her," said Martha. "Well, she's put all her trust in riches, and you see how she's served. They say the diamonds and things was worth thousands of pounds. There was a necklace and a river—whatever that is—and no end of bracelets; and a tarrer and ever so many rings. But there, I mustn't stand talking and all the place to clean down afore your ma comes home."
"That’s her," Martha said. "Well, she’s put all her trust in money, and look how that’s turned out for her. They say the diamonds and stuff were worth thousands of pounds. There was a necklace and a brooch—whatever that is—and tons of bracelets; and a tiara and so many rings. But I shouldn’t be standing around chatting when I have the whole place to clean before your mom gets home."
"I don't see why she should ever have had such lots of diamonds," said Anthea when[Pg 291] Martha had flounced off. "She was not at all a nice lady, I thought. And mother hasn't any diamonds, and hardly any jewels—the topaz necklace, and the sapphire ring daddy gave her when they were engaged, and the garnet star, and the little pearl brooch with great-grandpapa's hair in it,—that's about all."
"I don't understand why she had so many diamonds," Anthea said after Martha had stormed off. "She didn't seem like a nice person to me. And mom doesn’t have any diamonds, just a few pieces of jewelry—the topaz necklace, the sapphire ring dad gave her when they got engaged, the garnet star, and the little pearl brooch with great-grandpa's hair in it—that's pretty much it."
"When I'm grown up I'll buy mother no end of diamonds," said Robert, "if she wants them. I shall make so much money exploring in Africa I shan't know what to do with it."
"When I'm grown up, I'm going to buy Mom a ton of diamonds," said Robert, "if she wants them. I'm going to make so much money exploring in Africa that I won't know what to do with it."
"Wouldn't it be jolly," said Jane dreamily, "if mother could find all these lovely things, necklaces and rivers of diamonds and tarrers?"
"Wouldn't it be great," said Jane with a dreamy look, "if Mom could find all these beautiful things, necklaces and streams of diamonds and stars?"
"Ti—aras," said Cyril.
"Ti—aras," Cyril said.
"Ti—aras, then,—and rings and everything in her room when she came home. I wish she would"—
"Ti—aras, then,—and rings and everything in her room when she came home. I wish she would"
The others gazed at her in horror.
The others stared at her in shock.
"Well, she will," said Robert; "you've wished, my good Jane—and our only chance [Pg 292]now is to find the Psammead, and if it's in a good temper it may take back the wish and give us another. If not—well—goodness knows what we're in for!—the police of course, and—— Don't cry, silly! We'll stand by you. Father says we need never to be afraid if we don't do anything wrong and always speak the truth."
"Well, she will," Robert said. "You’ve wished for it, my dear Jane—and our only chance [Pg 292] now is to find the Psammead. If it's in a good mood, it might grant our wish back and give us another one. If not—well—goodness knows what’s coming! The police, of course, and—— Don’t cry, silly! We’ll stand by you. Dad says we should never be afraid if we don’t do anything wrong and always tell the truth."
But Cyril and Anthea exchanged gloomy glances. They remembered how convincing the truth about the Psammead had been once before when told to the police.
But Cyril and Anthea exchanged worried looks. They remembered how convincing the truth about the Psammead had been the last time it was told to the police.
It was a day of misfortunes. Of course the Psammead could not be found. Nor the jewels, though every one of the children searched the mother's room again and again.
It was a day full of bad luck. Of course, they couldn’t find the Psammead. And the jewels were missing too, even though each of the kids searched their mom's room over and over.
"Of course," Robert said, "we couldn't find them. It'll be mother who'll do that. Perhaps she'll think they've been in the house for years and years, and never know they are the stolen ones at all."
"Of course," Robert said, "we couldn't find them. It'll be Mom who does that. Maybe she'll think they've been in the house for ages and never realize they are the stolen ones at all."
"Oh yes!" Cyril was very scornful; "then mother will be a receiver of stolen goods, and you know jolly well what that's worse than."[Pg 293]
"Oh yeah!" Cyril was really sarcastic; "so mom will be an accomplice to theft, and you know exactly what that's worse than."[Pg 293]
Another and exhaustive search of the sand-pit failed to reveal the Psammead, so the children went back to the house slowly and sadly.
Another thorough search of the sand-pit didn’t uncover the Psammead, so the kids headed back to the house slowly and sadly.
"I don't care," said Anthea stoutly, "we'll tell mother the truth, and she'll give back the jewels—and make everything all right."
"I don't care," Anthea said firmly. "We'll tell Mom the truth, and she'll give back the jewels—and fix everything."
"Do you think so?" said Cyril slowly. "Do you think she'll believe us? Could anyone believe about a Sammyadd unless they'd seen it? She'll think we're pretending. Or else she'll think we're raving mad, and then we shall be sent to the mad-house. How would you like it?"—he turned suddenly on the miserable Jane,—"how would you like it, to be shut up in an iron cage with bars and padded walls, and nothing to do but stick straws in your hair all day, and listen to the howlings and ravings of the other maniacs? Make up your minds to it, all of you. It's no use telling mother."
"Do you really think so?" Cyril said slowly. "Do you think she'll believe us? Who could believe in a Sammyadd unless they'd seen it themselves? She'll think we're just messing around. Or she'll think we're completely crazy, and then we’ll end up in a psychiatric hospital. How would you feel about that?"—he suddenly turned to the miserable Jane,—"how would you feel about being locked up in an iron cage with bars and padded walls, with nothing to do but stick straws in your hair all day and listen to the howls and rants of other nuts? Just accept it, everyone. It's pointless to tell mom."
"But it's true," said Jane.
"But it's true," Jane said.
"Of course it is, but it's not true enough for grown-up people to believe it," said Anthea.[Pg 294]
"Of course it is, but it's not real enough for adults to believe it," said Anthea.[Pg 294]
"Cyril's right. Let's put flowers in all the vases, and try not to think about the diamonds. After all, everything has come right in the end all the other times."
"Cyril's right. Let's fill all the vases with flowers and try not to think about the diamonds. After all, everything has worked out in the end every other time."
So they filled all the pots they could find with flowers—asters and zinnias, and loose-leaved late red roses from the wall of the stableyard, till the house was a perfect bower.
So they filled all the pots they could find with flowers—asters and zinnias, and wild late red roses from the stableyard wall, until the house was a perfect garden.
And almost as soon as dinner was cleared away mother arrived, and was clasped in eight loving arms. It was very difficult indeed not to tell her all about the Psammead at once, because they had got into the habit of telling her everything. But they did succeed in not telling her.
And almost as soon as dinner was cleaned up, Mom showed up and was embraced by eight loving arms. It was really hard not to spill everything about the Psammead right away because they were used to sharing everything with her. But they managed to keep it a secret.
Mother, on her side, had plenty to tell them—about Granny, and Granny's pigeons, and Auntie Emma's lame tame donkey. She was very delighted with the flowery-boweryness of the house; and everything seemed so natural and pleasant, now that she was home again, that the children almost thought they must have dreamed the Psammead.
Mother had a lot to share with them—about Granny, Granny's pigeons, and Auntie Emma's pet donkey that limped. She was really happy with how colorful and flower-filled the house was; everything felt so natural and nice now that she was home again that the kids almost thought they must have imagined the Psammead.
But, when mother moved towards the stairs [Pg 295]to go up to her bedroom and take off her bonnet, the eight arms clung round her just as if she only had two children, one the Lamb and the other an octopus.
But when Mom headed toward the stairs [Pg 295] to go up to her bedroom and take off her bonnet, the eight arms wrapped around her, as if she only had two kids—one was the Lamb, and the other was an octopus.
"Don't go up, mummy darling," said Anthea; "let me take your things up for you."
"Don't go upstairs, mom," said Anthea; "let me carry your things up for you."
"Or I will," said Cyril.
"Or I will," Cyril said.
"We want you to come and look at the rose-tree," said Robert.
"We want you to come and check out the rose bush," said Robert.
"Oh, don't go up!" said Jane helplessly.
"Oh, please don't go up!" said Jane, feeling desperate.
"Nonsense, dears," said mother briskly, "I'm not such an old woman yet that I can't take my bonnet off in the proper place. Besides I must wash these black hands of mine."
"Nonsense, darlings," said Mom cheerfully, "I’m not so old yet that I can’t take off my bonnet in the right place. Plus, I need to wash these dirty hands of mine."
So up she went, and the children, following her, exchanged glances of gloomy foreboding.
So up she went, and the kids, following her, exchanged looks of gloomy dread.
Mother took off her bonnet,—it was a very pretty hat, really, with white roses in it,—and when she had taken it off she went to the dressing-table to do her pretty hair.
Mother took off her bonnet—it was actually a really cute hat with white roses in it—and once she set it aside, she went to the dressing table to style her lovely hair.
On the table between the ring-stand and the pin-cushion lay a green leather case. Mother opened it.[Pg 296]
On the table between the ring stand and the pin cushion was a green leather case. Mom opened it.[Pg 296]
"Oh, how lovely!" she cried. It was a ring, a large pearl with shining many-lighted diamonds set round it. "Wherever did this come from?" mother asked, trying it on her wedding finger, which it fitted beautifully. "However did it come here?"
"Oh, how beautiful!" she exclaimed. It was a ring, a big pearl with sparkling diamonds all around it. "Where did this come from?" her mother asked, trying it on her wedding finger, where it fit perfectly. "How did it even get here?"
"I don't know," said each of the children truthfully.
"I don't know," each of the children said honestly.
"Father must have told Martha to put it here," mother said. "I'll run down and ask her."
"Father must have told Martha to put it here," Mom said. "I'll go downstairs and ask her."
"Let me look at it," said Anthea, who knew Martha would not be able to see the ring. But when Martha was asked, of course she denied putting the ring there, and so did Eliza and cook.
"Let me see it," said Anthea, knowing that Martha wouldn't be able to see the ring. But when Martha was asked, she of course denied putting the ring there, and so did Eliza and the cook.
Mother came back to her bedroom, very much interested and pleased about the ring. But, when she opened the dressing-table drawer and found a long case containing an almost priceless diamond necklace, she was more interested still, though not so pleased. In the wardrobe, when she went to put away her "bonnet," she found a tiara and several [Pg 297]brooches, and the rest of the jewellery turned up in various parts of the room during the next half-hour. The children looked more and more uncomfortable, and now Jane began to sniff.
Mother returned to her bedroom, quite intrigued and happy about the ring. However, when she opened the dressing-table drawer and discovered a long case holding an almost priceless diamond necklace, her interest peaked even more, though her pleasure diminished. In the wardrobe, as she was putting away her "bonnet," she stumbled upon a tiara and several [Pg 297] brooches, and the rest of the jewelry emerged from various spots in the room over the next half-hour. The children appeared increasingly uncomfortable, and at this point, Jane started to sniff.
Mother looked at her gravely.
Mom looked at her seriously.
"Jane," she said, "I am sure you know something about this. Now think before you speak, and tell me the truth."
"Jane," she said, "I'm sure you know something about this. So think before you speak and tell me the truth."
"We found a Fairy," said Jane obediently.
"We found a fairy," Jane said obediently.
"No nonsense, please," said her mother sharply.
"Cut the nonsense," her mother said sharply.
"Don't be silly, Jane," Cyril interrupted. Then he went on desperately. "Look here, mother, we've never seen the things before, but Lady Chittenden at Peasmarsh Place lost all her jewellery by wicked burglars last night. Could this possibly be it?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Jane," Cyril interrupted. Then he continued urgently. "Look, Mom, we've never seen these before, but Lady Chittenden at Peasmarsh Place had all her jewelry stolen by some terrible burglars last night. Could this be it?"
All drew a deep breath. They were saved.
All took a deep breath. They were rescued.
"But how could they have put it here? And why should they?" asked mother, not unreasonably. "Surely it would have been easier and safer to make off with it?"[Pg 298]
"But how could they have put it here? And why should they?" asked Mom, quite reasonably. "Surely it would have been easier and safer to just take it away?"[Pg 298]
"Suppose," said Cyril, "they thought it better to wait for—for sunset—nightfall, I mean, before they went off with it. No one but us knew that you were coming back to-day."
"Let's say," Cyril said, "they figured it would be better to wait for—sunset—I mean, nightfall, before they took off with it. No one except us knew you were coming back today."
"I must send for the police at once," said mother distractedly. "Oh, how I wish daddy were here!"
"I need to call the police right now," said Mom, flustered. "Oh, how I wish Dad were here!"
"Wouldn't it be better to wait till he does come?" asked Robert, knowing that his father would not be home before sunset.
"Wouldn't it be better to wait until he comes?" asked Robert, knowing that his dad wouldn't be home before sunset.
"No, no; I can't wait a minute with all this on my mind," cried mother. "All this" was the heap of jewel-cases on the bed. They put them all in the wardrobe, and mother locked it. Then mother called Martha.
"No, no; I can't wait a minute with all this on my mind," cried mom. "All this" was the pile of jewelry boxes on the bed. They put everything in the wardrobe, and mom locked it. Then she called Martha.
"Martha," she said, "has any stranger been into my room since I've been away? Now, answer me truthfully."
"Martha," she said, "has any stranger been in my room while I've been away? Now, please answer me honestly."
"No, mum," answered Martha; "leastways, what I mean to say"—
"No, Mom," Martha replied. "What I meant to say..."
She stopped.
She halted.
"Come," said her mistress kindly, "I see someone has. You must tell me at once.[Pg 299] Don't be frightened. I'm sure you haven't done anything wrong."
"Come on," her mistress said gently, "I know someone has. You need to tell me right away.[Pg 299] Don't be scared. I’m sure you haven't done anything wrong."
Martha burst into heavy sobs.
Martha burst into loud cries.
"I was a-goin' to give you warning this very day, mum, to leave at the end of my month, so I was,—on account of me being going to make a respectable young man happy. A gamekeeper he is by trade, mum—and I wouldn't deceive you—of the name of Beale. And it's as true as I stand here, it was your coming home in such a hurry, and no warning given, out of the kindness of his heart it was, as he says, 'Martha, my beauty,' he says,—which I ain't, and never was, but you know how them men will go on,—'I can't see you a-toiling and a-moiling and not lend a 'elping 'and; which mine is a strong arm, and it's yours Martha, my dear,' says he. And so he helped me a-cleanin' of the windows—but outside, mum, the whole time, and me in; if I never say another breathing word it's gospel truth."
"I was going to give you a heads-up today, ma'am, to leave at the end of the month because I'm going to make a respectable young man happy. He’s a gamekeeper by trade, ma'am—and I wouldn’t lie to you—his name is Beale. It's as true as I stand here, it was your sudden return home, with no warning, that stirred him to help me. Out of the kindness of his heart, he said, 'Martha, my beauty,' he says—which I’m not, and never was, but you know how those men can be—'I can’t watch you toiling away and not lend a helping hand; my strong arm is yours, Martha, my dear,' he says. And so he helped me clean the windows—but only outside, ma'am, while I was indoors; if I never speak another word, it’s the gospel truth."
"Were you with him the whole time?" asked her mistress.[Pg 300]
"Were you with him the entire time?" her mistress asked.[Pg 300]
"Him outside and me in, I was," said Martha; "except for fetching up a fresh pail and the leather that that slut of a Eliza'd hidden away behind the mangle."
"Him outside and me inside, I was," said Martha; "except for getting a new pail and the leather that that lazy Eliza had hidden away behind the mangle."
"That will do," said the children's mother. "I am not pleased with you, Martha, but you have spoken the truth, and that counts for something."
"That’s enough," said the children's mom. "I'm not happy with you, Martha, but you’ve told the truth, and that matters."
When Martha had gone, the children clung round their mother.
When Martha left, the kids gathered around their mom.
"Oh, mummy darling," cried Anthea, "it isn't Beale's fault, it isn't really! He's a great dear; he is, truly and honourably, and as honest as the day. Don't let the police take him, mummy! Oh, don't, don't, don't!"
"Oh, Mom, please," cried Anthea, "it's not Beale's fault, it really isn't! He's a great guy; he is, truly and honestly, as honest as can be. Don't let the police take him, Mom! Oh, please, don't, don't, don't!"
It was truly awful. Here was an innocent man accused of robbery through that silly wish of Jane's, and it was absolutely useless to tell the truth. All longed to, but they thought of the straws in the hair and the shrieks of the other frantic maniacs, and they could not do it.
It was really terrible. Here was an innocent man accused of robbery because of that ridiculous wish of Jane's, and it was completely pointless to tell the truth. Everyone wanted to, but they remembered the straws in the hair and the screams of the other panicked people, and they couldn’t do it.
"Is there a cart hereabouts?" asked the mother feverishly. "A trap of any sort? I [Pg 301]must drive in to Rochester and tell the police at once."
"Is there a cart around here?" the mother asked anxiously. "Any kind of carriage? I [Pg 301]need to get to Rochester and inform the police right away."
All the children sobbed, "There's a cart at the farm, but, oh, don't go!—don't go!—oh, don't go!—wait till daddy comes home!"
All the kids cried, "There's a cart at the farm, but please, don't go!—don't go!—oh, don't go!—wait until dad gets home!"
Mother took not the faintest notice. When she had set her mind on a thing she always went straight through with it; she was rather like Anthea in this respect.
Mother didn't pay the slightest attention. When she decided on something, she always followed through; she was quite similar to Anthea in that way.
"Look here, Cyril," she said, sticking on her hat with long sharp violet-headed pins, "I leave you in charge. Stay in the dressing-room. You can pretend to be swimming boats in the bath, or something. Say I gave you leave. But stay there, with the door on the landing open; I've locked the other. And don't let anyone go into my room. Remember, no one knows the jewels are there except me, and all of you, and the wicked thieves who put them there. Robert, you stay in the garden and watch the windows. If anyone tries to get in you must run and tell the two farm men that I'll send up to wait in the kitchen. I'll tell them there are dangerous [Pg 302]characters about—that's true enough. Now remember, I trust you both. But I don't think they'll try it till after dark, so you're quite safe. Good-bye, darlings."
"Listen up, Cyril," she said, fastening her hat with long, sharp violet pins, "I'm leaving you in charge. Stay in the dressing room. You can pretend to be sailing boats in the bath or something. Just say I gave you permission. But stay there, with the door on the landing open; I've locked the other one. And don’t let anyone into my room. Remember, only I, you guys, and the dishonest thieves who put the jewels there know about them. Robert, you need to stay in the garden and watch the windows. If anyone tries to break in, you have to run and tell the two farm workers that I'll send up to wait in the kitchen. I'll explain that there are dangerous [Pg 302] characters around—that’s completely true. Now remember, I trust you both. But I don’t think they’ll try anything until after dark, so you should be safe. Bye, darlings."
And she locked her bedroom door and went off with the key in her pocket.
And she locked her bedroom door and left with the key in her pocket.
The children could not help admiring the dashing and decided way in which she had acted. They thought how useful she would have been in organising escape from some of the tight places in which they had found themselves of late in consequence of their ill-timed wishes.
The kids couldn’t help but admire the bold and decisive way she had acted. They thought about how helpful she would have been in planning an escape from some of the difficult situations they had recently found themselves in because of their poorly timed wishes.
"She's a born general," said Cyril,—"but I don't know what's going to happen to us. Even if the girls were to hunt for that old Sammyadd and find it, and get it to take the jewels away again, mother would only think we hadn't looked out properly and let the burglars sneak in and get them—or else the police will think we've got them—or else that she's been fooling them. Oh, it's a pretty decent average ghastly mess this time, and no mistake!"[Pg 303]
"She's a natural leader," Cyril said, "but I have no idea what’s going to happen to us. Even if the girls manage to find that old Sammyadd and get it to take the jewels away again, mom will just think we didn’t keep an eye out and allowed the burglars to sneak in and steal them—or the police will think we have them—or that she’s been tricking them. Oh, this is a pretty big disaster, that's for sure!"[Pg 303]
He savagely made a paper boat and began to float it in the bath, as he had been told to do.
He roughly made a paper boat and started to float it in the bath, just like he had been instructed to do.
Robert went into the garden and sat down on the worn yellow grass, with his miserable head between his helpless hands.
Robert went into the garden and sat down on the faded yellow grass, with his miserable head in his helpless hands.
Anthea and Jane whispered together in the passage downstairs, where the cocoanut matting was—with the hole in it that you always caught your foot in if you were not careful. Martha's voice could be heard in the kitchen,—grumbling loud and long.
Anthea and Jane whispered in the hallway downstairs, where the coconut mat was—complete with the hole in it that always caught your foot if you weren't careful. Martha's voice could be heard in the kitchen, grumbling loudly and for a long time.
"It's simply quite too dreadfully awful," said Anthea. "How do you know all the diamonds are there, too? If they aren't, the police will think mother and father have got them, and that they've only given up some of them for a kind of desperate blind. And they'll be put in prison, and we shall be branded outcasts, the children of felons. And it won't be at all nice for father and mother either," she added, by a candid after-thought.
"It's really too terrible," said Anthea. "How can you be sure all the diamonds are there? If they’re not, the police will think Mom and Dad have them and that they’ve only given up some as a ploy. They'll end up in prison, and we’ll be marked as outcasts, the kids of criminals. And it won't be great for Mom and Dad either," she added, with honest reflection.
"But what can we do?" asked Jane.
"But what can we do?" asked Jane.
"Nothing—at least we might look for the[Pg 304] Psammead again. It's a very, very hot day. He may have come out to warm that whisker of his."
"Nothing—at least we can try to find the[Pg 304] Psammead again. It's a really, really hot day. He might have come out to warm up that whisker of his."
"He won't give us any more beastly wishes to-day," said Jane flatly. "He gets crosser and crosser every time we see him. I believe he hates having to give wishes."
"He isn't going to grant us any more ridiculous wishes today," Jane said flatly. "He gets angrier every time we see him. I think he hates having to grant wishes."
Anthea had been shaking her head gloomily—now she stopped shaking it so suddenly that it really looked as though she were pricking up her ears.
Anthea had been shaking her head sadly—now she stopped so suddenly that it really seemed like she was perked up, listening closely.
"What is it?" asked Jane. "Oh, have you thought of something?"
"What is it?" Jane asked. "Oh, did you come up with something?"
"Our one chance," cried Anthea dramatically; "the last lone-lorn forlorn hope. Come on."
"Our one chance," Anthea exclaimed dramatically, "the last lonely, desperate hope. Let’s go."
At a brisk trot she led the way to the sand-pit. Oh, joy!—there was the Psammead, basking in a golden sandy hollow and preening its whiskers happily in the glowing afternoon sun. The moment it saw them it whisked round and began to burrow—it evidently preferred its own company to theirs. But Anthea was too quick for it. She caught it by [Pg 305]its furry shoulders gently but firmly, and held it.
At a quick trot, she led the way to the sand pit. Oh, joy! There was the Psammead, lounging in a golden sandy hollow and happily grooming its whiskers in the warm afternoon sun. The moment it saw them, it turned around and started to burrow—it clearly preferred being alone. But Anthea was too fast for it. She gently but firmly caught it by its furry shoulders and held it.
"Here—none of that!" said the Psammead. "Leave go of me, will you?"
"Hey—stop that!" said the Psammead. "Let me go, will you?"
But Anthea held him fast.
But Anthea held onto him.
"Dear kind darling Sammyadd," she said breathlessly.
"Dear sweet darling Sammyadd," she said, out of breath.
"Oh yes—it's all very well," it said; "you want another wish, I expect. But I can't keep on slaving from morning till night giving people their wishes. I must have some time to myself."
"Oh yeah—it's all good," it said; "you want another wish, I guess. But I can't just keep working from morning to night granting people's wishes. I need to have some time for myself."
"Do you hate giving wishes?" asked Anthea gently, and her voice trembled with excitement.
"Do you hate making wishes?" Anthea asked softly, her voice shaking with excitement.
"Of course I do," it said. "Leave go of me or I'll bite!—I really will—I mean it. Oh, well, if you choose to risk it."
"Of course I do," it said. "Let go of me or I'll bite!—I really will—I mean it. Oh, well, if you're willing to take that chance."
Anthea risked it and held on.
Anthea took the risk and hung on.
"Look here," she said, "don't bite me—listen to reason. If you'll only do what we want to-day, we'll never ask you for another wish as long as we live."
"Listen," she said, "don't get angry—just hear us out. If you agree to what we want today, we promise we won't ask you for another favor for the rest of our lives."
"I'd do anything," it said in a tearful voice. "I'd almost burst myself to give you one wish after another, as long as I held out, if you'd only never, never ask me to do it after to-day. If you knew how I hate to blow myself out with other people's wishes, and how frightened I am always that I shall strain a muscle or something. And then to wake up every morning and know you've got to do it. You don't know what it is—you don't know what it is, you don't!" Its voice cracked with emotion, and the last "don't" was a squeak.
"I'd do anything," it said with a tearful voice. "I'd almost push myself to give you one wish after another, as long as I could keep going, if you'd just promise never to ask me to do it after today. If you only knew how much I hate fulfilling other people's wishes and how scared I always am that I'll pull a muscle or something. And then to wake up every morning knowing you *have* to do it. You have no idea—you have no idea, you don’t!" Its voice cracked with emotion, and the last "don't" came out as a squeak.
Anthea set it down gently on the sand.
Anthea placed it down softly on the sand.
"It's all over now," she said soothingly. "We promise faithfully never to ask for another wish after to-day."
"It's all over now," she said gently. "We promise to never ask for another wish after today."
"Well, go ahead," said the Psammead; "let's get it over."
"Alright, go ahead," said the Psammead; "let's just get this done."
"How many can you do?"
"How many can you handle?"
"I don't know—as long as I can hold out."
"I don't know—as long as I can hang in there."
"Well, first, I wish Lady Chittenden may find she's never lost her jewels."
"Well, first, I hope Lady Chittenden realizes she has never lost her jewels."
The Psammead blew itself out, collapsed, and said, "Done."[Pg 307]
The Psammead blew itself out, collapsed, and said, "Done."[Pg 307]
"I wish," said Anthea more slowly, "mother mayn't get to the police."
"I hope," Anthea said more slowly, "that mom doesn't reach out to the police."
"Done," said the creature after the proper interval.
"Done," said the creature after a moment.
"I wish," said Jane suddenly, "mother could forget all about the diamonds."
"I wish," Jane suddenly said, "that mom could just forget all about the diamonds."
"Done," said the Psammead; but its voice was weaker.
"Done," said the Psammead; but its voice sounded weaker.
"Would you like to rest a little?" asked Anthea considerately.
"Do you want to take a break for a bit?" Anthea asked kindly.
"Yes, please," said the Psammead; "and, before we go any further, will you wish something for me?"
"Sure, please," said the Psammead; "and before we go any further, will you wish for something for me?"
"Can't you do wishes for yourself?"
"Can't you make wishes for yourself?"
"Of course not," it said; "we were always expected to give each other our wishes—not that we had any to speak of in the good old Megatherium days. Just wish, will you, that you may never be able, any of you, to tell anyone a word about Me."
"Of course not," it said; "we were always expected to share our wishes—not that we had any worth mentioning back in the good old Megatherium days. Just wish, will you, that none of you will ever be able to tell anyone a word about Me."
"Why?" asked Jane.
"Why?" Jane asked.
"Why, don't you see, if you told grown-ups I should have no peace of my life. They'd get hold of me, and they wouldn't wish silly [Pg 308]things like you do, but real earnest things; and the scientific people would hit on some way of making things last after sunset, as likely as not; and they'd ask for a graduated income-tax, and old-age pensions, and manhood suffrage, and free secondary education, and dull things like that; and get them, and keep them, and the whole world would be turned topsy-turvy. Do wish it! Quick!"
"Don't you see, if you told adults, I'd never have a moment's peace. They'd come after me, and they wouldn't want the silly things you do, but serious stuff; and the scientists would probably find a way to make things last after sunset; and they'd push for a graduated income tax, and pensions for the elderly, and voting rights for men, and free secondary education, and boring things like that; and they'd get them, and hold onto them, and everything would be turned upside down. I really wish it! Hurry!"
Anthea repeated the Psammead's wish, and it blew itself out to a larger size than they had yet seen it attain.
Anthea restated the Psammead's wish, and it puffed itself up to a larger size than they had ever seen before.
"And now," it said as it collapsed, "can I do anything more for you?"
"And now," it said as it fell down, "is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Just one thing; and I think that clears everything up, doesn't it, Jane? I wish Martha to forget about the diamond ring, and mother to forget about the keeper cleaning the windows."
"Just one thing; and I think that clears everything up, right, Jane? I want Martha to forget about the diamond ring, and for mom to forget about the guy cleaning the windows."
"It's like the 'Brass Bottle,'" said Jane.
"It's like the 'Brass Bottle,'" Jane said.
"Yes, I'm glad we read that or I should never have thought of it."
"Yeah, I'm really glad we read that, or I would never have thought of it."
"Now," said the Psammead faintly, "I'm almost worn out. Is there anything else?"[Pg 309]
"Now," said the Psammead weakly, "I'm pretty drained. Is there anything else?"[Pg 309]
"No; only thank you kindly for all you've done for us, and I hope you'll have a good long sleep, and I hope we shall see you again some day."
"No; just thank you for everything you've done for us, and I hope you have a good, long sleep, and I hope we'll see you again someday."
"Is that a wish?" it said in a weak voice.
"Is that a wish?" it asked in a faint voice.
"Yes, please," said the two girls together.
"Yeah, sure," the two girls said at the same time.
Then for the last time in this story they saw the Psammead blow itself out and collapse suddenly. It nodded to them, blinked its long snail's eyes, burrowed, and disappeared, scratching fiercely to the last, and the sand closed over it.
Then for the last time in this story, they saw the Psammead puff itself out and suddenly collapse. It nodded at them, blinked its long snail-like eyes, dug in, and vanished, scratching wildly until the end, and the sand covered it up.
"I hope we've done right?" said Jane.
"I hope we've done the right thing?" said Jane.
"I'm sure we have," said Anthea. "Come on home and tell the boys."
"I'm sure we have," Anthea said. "Let's go home and tell the guys."
Anthea found Cyril glooming over his paper boats, and told him. Jane told Robert. The two tales were only just ended when mother walked in, hot and dusty. She explained that as she was being driven into Rochester to buy the girls' autumn school-dresses the axle had broken, and but for the narrowness of the lane and the high soft hedges she would have been [Pg 310]thrown out. As it was, she was not hurt, but she had had to walk home. "And oh, my dearest dear chicks," she said, "I am simply dying for a cup of tea! Do run and see if the water boils!"
Anthea found Cyril sulking over his paper boats and told him about it. Jane told Robert. The two stories had just wrapped up when their mom walked in, hot and covered in dust. She explained that while she was being driven into Rochester to buy the girls' fall school dresses, the axle broke, and if it hadn't been for the narrow lane and the tall, soft hedges, she would've been thrown out. As it was, she wasn’t hurt, but she had to walk home. "And oh, my sweet little chicks," she said, "I'm absolutely dying for a cup of tea! Please run and check if the water is boiling!"
"So you see it's all right," Jane whispered. "She doesn't remember."
"So you see, it’s okay," Jane whispered. "She doesn't remember."
"No more does Martha," said Anthea, who had been to ask after the state of the kettle.
"No more does Martha," said Anthea, who had gone to check on how the kettle was doing.
As the servants sat at their tea, Beale the gamekeeper dropped in. He brought the welcome news that Lady Chittenden's diamonds had not been lost at all. Lord Chittenden had taken them to be re-set and cleaned, and the maid who knew about it had gone for a holiday. So that was all right.
As the staff enjoyed their tea, Beale the gamekeeper stopped by. He brought the good news that Lady Chittenden's diamonds hadn’t been lost after all. Lord Chittenden had taken them to be reset and cleaned, and the maid who knew about it had gone on vacation. So, everything was fine.
"I wonder if we ever shall see the Psammead again," said Jane wistfully as they walked in the garden, while mother was putting the Lamb to bed.
"I wonder if we'll ever see the Psammead again," Jane said with a hint of sadness as they walked in the garden, while their mom was putting the Lamb to bed.
"I'm sure we shall," said Cyril, "if you really wished it."
"I'm sure we will," said Cyril, "if you truly want it."
"We've promised never to ask it for another wish," said Anthea.[Pg 311]
"We've promised never to ask it for another wish," Anthea said.[Pg 311]
"I never want to," said Robert earnestly.
"I never want to," Robert said earnestly.
They did see it again, of course, but not in this story. And it was not in a sand-pit either, but in a very, very, very different place. It was in a—— But I must say no more.
They did see it again, of course, but not in this story. And it wasn't in a sandpit either, but in a completely different place. It was in a—— But I can't say more.
Varied hyphenation retained where a majority could not be found.
Varied hyphenation kept where a majority couldn't be found.
Page 116, extraneous " removed. "better. What"
Page 116, extraneous " removed. "better. What"
Page 179, Quotation mark added. "...Anthea said. "It's creepy..."
Page 179, Quotation mark added. "...Anthea said. "It's really creepy..."
The remaining corrections made are indicated by dotted lines under the corrections. Scroll the mouse over the word and the original text will appear.
The remaining corrections made are shown with dotted lines underneath them. Hover the mouse over the word and the original text will appear.
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